Contents

Book 1

The Apparent Heir.

The Last Man standing.

Situation: FUBAR

The New World of Awareness.

The Curse of Steak

Unhappy, Bouncy Information Spikes.

Vacation Playtimes.

Precursor To An Election Night Drama.

Book 2

Listening Is Half the Battle.

A Normal Life?

Pets, Presents, Same Thing.

Working on The Moves.

It's All Starting Again

Earth to Atlantis.

Dramas of Being in DC.

The Beginning of the End.

Book 3

NO!  Save Me!

The Day of Swearing.

Mamma Drama.

Wedding Bells.

Wedding Details.

Press Attention.

Wedded Bliss.

Revelations.

Reasons for Yelling Virus Carriers To Yell.

Time For A Hand-Over.

Book 1

The Apparent Heir.

The general in front of the press huffed.  "We will not let this go!" he said firmly.  "Whoever did this, there is nowhere on this planet they can hide.  No one will save them from our retribution and no one will be standing in our way!"

An aide rushed in.  "General, there's a new development," he said quietly, pulling him out of the range of the microphones.  "It wasn't just ours, sir."

"What do you mean it wasn't just ours?" he demanded loudly.

"I mean every other world leader we keep tabs on just got assassinated in the same manner," an agent said as he walked in.  "Same methodology, same left behind rifle.  Down to their versions of congress like ours was.  Some of the more militant religious leaders as well.  Any cabinet members they may have too."

The general snatched the file to look over, grimacing.  "We'll still get them.  Get me a conference call set up," he told the aide.  "Whoever's in charge wherever that we're friends with.  Now."  He ran off to do that.  The general looked at the agent.  "Anything else I should hear?"

"We're looking at the cause, we're not sure yet because something's unusual.  The fingerprints weren't human or in any database anywhere," he said quietly.

The general considered it.  "Get me O'Neill."

"He's already here, sir, with the order to return to the Pentagon to settle who takes over."  He left.

The general looked at the press people.  "I'll be back later."  He went to talk to that conference of subbing leaders.  O'Neill was waiting on him.  "Why am I being recalled?"

"They voted."  He held up the sealed letter.  "I got sent as a messenger since I have some diplomacy training."

The general ripped it open, reading it.  He grimaced.  "You got more than that, O'Neill."  He glared at him.  "Why you?"

"You know what I used to do, General Hyt.  I've saved the world a lot of times.  I've dealt with diplomatic things.  All that crap.  Though, I said I didn't want considered."

"Too bad."  He handed him the letter.  He couldn't debate the reasons given.  O'Neill was a leader of men and in emergencies.  Most of the rest of them had been out of the field for too long.  "I've called a conference call."

"Good.  Let's go.  You can help me for now.  I don't make speeches and things like that."  Mentally, he was swearing so much he hoped some telepathic race couldn't hear.  They didn't need another emergency today.  They walked into the situation room and everything was set up for them.  "Prince," he said, nodding.  A few of them nodded back.  A few others grimaced.

"I'm General Jack O'Neill.  This is General William Hyt.  As of this moment, the Pentagon's top people voted me to take over.  I'll warn you now, I'm a blunt person.  I don't screw around with things."  They all smiled at that.  "I've also served on diplomatic missions.  So, we need to share intel on what's happened.  Agent Simmons."  She snapped to attention.  "Make sure we get the information from their crime scenes the same as they get ours.  It can only help catch these idiots."

One Prince with big ears cleared his throat.  "My people at MI-6 tell me that they're not human seeming.  I know before who we would call but they unfortunately got blown up a few years back."

The agent in there nodded.  "We're seeing if any are available to confirm that idea, Prince Charles."

"Thank you," he said with a small head nod and a slight smile.  "I hope there are some left."

"I've never heard of that group," Jack said.  He looked at the agent.  "I want info on them today."

"Of course, sir."  She touched her earpiece and walked outside, coming back with a folder.  "Sir, we have found that we were warned."  She handed it over.

Jack looked it over.  "Not just us.  The French, the Brits, and the Indian intelligence group were all warned about this suicide cult."  The other leaders glared at the French one.  The Prince wasn't usually involved in government.  He was a diplomat and a showpiece of the Empire.  No one would've told him anything.  "Apparently the tips we got called them a suicide cult willing to kill for world peace."

The French one snorted.  "There was probably no way to corroborate that."

"Perhaps, our people said that the person who gave it was a credible source but weren't sure what they could do about it.  It mentions a Council?"

"That would be who I'd like to speak to," Prince Charles agreed.  "May I have a copy of those as well to compare?"  Jack nodded, handing it to the agent.  "Thank you.  What will we do now?"

"Now, we reform," Jack said firmly.  "I say we hold a talk, make sure we can support each other and see if any of the other countries want to get some steadying as well."  They all, but the French one, nodded at that.  "The UN in a few days?"

"That would be reasonable," the one on the right said with a Russian accent.  "Did it take out your state governors?"

"No.  Just the upper branch of government," General Hyt told him.  "We still have our Supreme Court and state governments."

Jack looked at him.  "Get me the judges today?"  He nodded, making that note.  "That way we can head off the fighting the governors are going to do."  He looked at Charles.  "I'll see you in a few days."

"Thank you.  Her Majesty is a bit ill today or she'd be here.  I'm taking temporary PM duties however."

"That's fine.  You're educated, won't make bad mistakes, and can hold on until you can get things set back up," Jack said with a small smile.  "We'll figure it out and destroy whoever did this to the last man.  Because if they weren't a suicide cult before, doing this made sure of it."  They all nodded and hung up.  Jack leaned back, rubbing his forehead.  "I'm not a diplomat," he muttered.

"You're doing fine.  Most of them are just rich people with a title," Hyt told him.  "I wasn't looking forward to that."  He walked off.  "Let me announce what we have."

"Thank you.  I don't like reporters."  He looked at the agent.  "Anything on this Council?"

"A few profiles in the system, sir.  They were British originally."

"Find them, even if one member remains."  She nodded.  "I'm used to dealing with freaky stuff so don't sugar coat that."

"Yes, General."  She left, going to her office to get on that information.

***

Two Secret Service agents walked up to O'Neill a few days later, nodding politely as they pulled him away from the person he had been talking to.  "There is a representative to the Council that we have found, General."

"Good!  Do they know anything?"

"She knows who would."  Jack said something to the diplomat to Japan and walked off with them.  They found the young redhead in a room waiting on them.  "Miss Rosenburg, this is General O'Neill."

"Thank you," she said.  She shook his hand.  "I'm Willow Rosenburg, tech support at the Watchers Council, General."  She stared at him.  "You're a hard man to find out about but you seem to be trustworthy."

"You know about this cult?" he demanded.

"I know they're all gone now.  The ones that were left are dead."  She handed him a CD.  "Taken from their tribal group.  Any others of that species are now off-plane."

"Excuse me?" he demanded.

She smiled and changed the color of his t-shirt for him with a snap of her fingers.  "We do things that are a bit stranger than even you're used to, General.  One of our hunters and a few younger slayers gave the tips and went after them.  They managed to stop some but not enough of them in time.  For that, the team took out the rest of them that they could find."

He stared at her.  "What were they?"

"Not human and not what you're used to dealing with.  There's an information file on their species on there as well."  She smiled and nodded at the agents.  "We're in Cleveland since you guys thought they all blew up in England.  We went to Sunnydale before it fell in, most of us were in Sunnydale when it fell in, and we reformed on the new hellmouth."

One agent repeated that, then grimaced.  "Cleveland?"  She nodded.  "We'll be getting with the local offices to make sure they're strong enough to handle things that happened in LA."

"Please.  We've been doing some gentle nudging about natural disasters and plans but no one's listening to us because we hunt demons."  The agents both nodded at that.  Jack's mouth fell open.  She giggled, smiling at him.  "That's the Council's job, General.  Why they have a chosen female warrior.  Now we have a lot of them called thanks to the issue in Sunnydale."

"I want to talk to the one who took them out and see if he gathered any other intel," Jack ordered.

"Gladly.  He's in Canada at the moment on an emergency hunt.  A demon was trying to take out a village and the slayer up there called specifically for him."  She beamed.  "He'll be back in a few days.  Where would you like to meet him?"

"DC.  My office.  As soon as he's back."  She nodded and disappeared.  "How did she do that?" he demanded.

"Magic, sir.  Apparently it is real for some people," one agent said.  "We're gathering the profiles since we've been told that Sunnydale has a file of its own.  It's probably in there, as well as whoever took them out."

Jack nodded.  "Get me a laptop to run this," he said quietly.  He made a call while he waited.  "Carter, I need you now."  He hung up.  The laptop got handed over and he ran the disc.  What he saw horrified him.  "How in the hell?" he demanded to the screen.  Carter was let in and came over to read over his shoulder.  "Seen this?"

"No.  That's crackpot theory, sir."

"No, Colonel, it's not," one agent sighed.  "They've been around since before most countries had their current boundaries.  Some say before Rome was an Empire."

She grimaced.  "There's no way."

"I'll be meeting with the person in a few days," Jack said, letting her have it.  "Summarize it for me.  Have Hyt look that over as well," he ordered.  The agents nodded.  "Anyone in our people among them?"

"If so, we'll ask them, sir."

"Thank you.  Aspirin?"  One handed over a packet of Tylenol.  They had started carrying them after the first time Jack had growled at a reporter.

Carter took the disc to her temporary office.  Jack had sent for her to help work on the defenses they might need.  This was the perfect time for the Ori to show up.

***

Xander walked into the White House looking more pressed than usual.  He presented himself to the desk sergeant.  "I was told to appear for an interview with General O'Neill by a Miss Rosenburg," he said quietly.

The desk sergeant had a post-it with that information so he called the agents in charge to come get this one.  They came out.  "Him, sir."

"Hi, Xander Harris.  I was told someone wanted to talk to me."

"Yes, Mr. Harris, we have a lot of questions and apparently you have our answers."

"I was in the middle of taking a few of them down when I heard some had managed to get into place," he said.

"That's fine.  That's just one of our questions."  He led the one-eyed young man to a bare room with a table.  "Who, exactly, are you?"

"Alexander Lavelle Harris, formerly of Sunnydale."

The agent typed that into his PDA, getting his file.  "Hmm.  The file we have on you is very thin."

"That's because the Initiative are weenies," he said bluntly, but smirking at the end.  "If you've ever met Captain Finn, you'd know that."

The head agent looked at him.  "He seemed normal to us."

"Do you like to torture beings for supposedly scientific purposes?" he asked bluntly, staring at him.  The agent shook his head quickly.  "Then I wouldn't idolize him because he did.  He may have turned but that wasn't because he was sickened by what they were doing.  It was because they found out that he was being experimented on as well."

"Oh, I hadn't known that."  He added to the boy's profile.  Then he looked at him.  "Where was their main headquarters?"

"They had a few different enclaves and priesthoods."  He pulled out the envelope that had been checked twice so far.  "That's their former religion, their areas where they had enclaves, and the link to the safety deposit box I put everything I found there in."

The agent smirked.  "That's handy."

"I'm from the Sunnydale team.  We're used to emergencies and apocalypses.  I figured someone would want to go through it for more plans."  He got comfortable while they read it over.  Someone else came in.  "General Hyt."

"You are....."

"Xander Harris.  I'm the hunter in charge of the team that took them out.  Unfortunately I found out they had some in place while we were taking one out.  I did send hints to the governments we knew we could trust as the Council."

"So we've heard.  They didn't track your people after the explosion though so didn't trust it."

"Basically, the demon cocksuckers in charge wouldn't quit going down on them?" Xander asked dryly.  The agents stiffened.  Xander stared at them.  "Three of the top agency heads right now wear demon's marks, guys."  He looked at the general again.  "What else can we do to help?"

"For right now, we have questions that need to be answered about what and who they were."

"I'm here for that," Xander agreed.

"Also, there's people who want to talk about magic."

"Not my field.  Talk to Willow or the Devon Coven."

"There's a what where?" Hyt asked.

Xander smiled.  "Willow once had some problems controlling her urges for the abilities she has.  We found out that the higher authority for their sort is in Devon, England."

"Interesting," Hyt said, considering that information.  "We'll try to talk to them when we're in England in a few days."  Xander pulled out his phone to send a text message.  "Warning them?"

"Having Willow set up an appointment for you."  He looked at him.  "And with Rupert Giles, the present head of the Council.  He's in London this week."

"Thank you," he said, smiling at the boy.  "What happened to your eye?  Recent injury?"

"Before Sunnydale fell in, an insane preacher popped it."  He adjusted the patch and looked at him.  "I've been training myself since then to compensate.  A few years in Africa helped that as well."

"Good man."  He looked at the information they had.  "Any chance there's some left?"

Xander shrugged.  "Not on this plane.  Some more showing up?  Possibly.  I wouldn't rule it out but the whole underground knows to turn them in to us for immediate removal.  After what they did, even if it was so the world could start new and maybe make more peace, we can't allow that."

"I agree," Hyt said.  "Let me get O'Neill in here."  He took the information to him and Carter.  Carter was still scoffing at magic but oh well.  O'Neill came back to find the agents sneering at the boy but him looking unconcerned.

Carter followed.  "I want proof of this magic bullcrap."

He stared at her.  "That's not my field, ma'am.  Ask Willow.  Unless I leave that way, and then I won't be showing back up."  He stared at her then at O'Neill.  "She was highly impressed with you."

"Thank you.  How would they get here?"

"There's a few immigration points from other realms and dimensions.  One's in LA.  One's in Paris, in the catacombs.  The underground has people there so they know what's coming through.  The Council, present version not the old one, has bribed them to let us know if anything too bad, too nasty, too dangerous, or these ones show up.   If they're refugees or just seeking a better life, then so be it.  Most of the demon population is still peaceful."

"Demons now?" Carter sneered.  "Who do you think you are?"

Xander looked up.  "Willow!"  She appeared and stunned Carter stupid.  "Thank you.  Books?"  She handed them over with a smirk then disappeared.  He put them on the table, took off the band around them, and they all got to watch them grow.  "Our classification manuals," he told Carter, who was still staring at her spot.  He looked at O'Neill with a grin.  "Sometimes it's fantastic, sometimes it's annoying.  Magic is not a cure-all or anything, but another tool that only a few can use."

"I know about tools like that," he admitted.  He took the books to look through.  "Olde English?" he said.

"Yeah, the former version of the Council wrote them.  There's a few spots we corrected but most of us can read that so we haven't gotten around to translating the libraries yet."

"What's the rest in?" he asked casually.  He knew a bored linguist.

"Latin, some Summerian, some others.  A few demon languages here and there.  Those are mostly from personal libraries we managed to get from probates after the old Council got blown up."

"Who reformed it?" one agent asked quietly.

"Our team.  We have the oldest slayer, we trained most of the other ones.  The ones that fell back to Sunnydale and made it through the battle, or the ones I found, agreed Giles was in charge because he had all the ideas, training, and skills.  Plus the headache powder."

"I need to try that instead of tylenol," Jack said.  Xander patted himself down, pulling out a small box and opening it, which expanded it.  He handed over a small envelope.   Jack smirked at the smartass.  "Thanks.  I'll have it tested."

"It's all natural.  I found it in Africa when I started to have vision headaches.  A few shaman used it."

"Cool."  He put it into his shirt pocket, going back over the books.  "Are there any issues going on that I should know about that might complicate things?"

"Not right now.  The whole underground is cowering in fear because the last time a demon got notice, the Initiative started.  They think you guys are going to attack all of them for being different."

Jack nodded.  "I'm not interested in killing peaceful species who might be allies, Harris."  Xander smiled back.   "If not...."

"There's the slayers for that," Xander said bluntly.  "If we have to warn you about something big, we'll call.  We always warn.  We warned before the invasion in LA a few years back, or so I'm told since I was in Africa."

"They didn't recall you?" Hyt asked.

Xander shook his head.  "Half the time the girls think I'm normal so therefore incompetent.  I've proved them wrong lots of times but they still believe I'm too normal to help with things.  So instead my girls kicked ass when a militia troupe showed up that day."

"That's good to know," Hyt agreed.  "Are you staying local?"

"Technically I'm the Africa head.  I should be back in Cairo in a few days.  My girls will get into trouble again and they hate to arrest them when they get into trouble."

Jack smiled.  "I'd like to meet these slayers."

"Talk to Willow.  She can figure out where the one assigned to DC is."  He smirked.  "She's young but trained at home for a good, long time."

"Thank you."  Jack shook his hand.  "Let us have a contact method that will definitely work, Harris."  Xander handed over his card, getting a nod.  "Dismissed."

"Thank you, General."  He left, going back to Cleveland via Willow.

Carter snatched the books to read, grimacing.  "I don't believe all this.  This is laid out like a stupid gaming manual."

"Find me Finn," O'Neill ordered.  They went to find him in Homeland.  They knew where he was.  "We'll see since he was part of a demon hunting project out of the UN."

"And earlier he was part of a project that Sunnydale team shut down," Hyt said quietly.  "Because they were torturing demons."  Carter stared at him oddly.  He nodded, smirking some.  "They're so sanitized we can't find hardly anything on them."  A disc carrier appeared in a twinkle on the table.  He opened it carefully, finding the labeled discs.  "Hmm.  Their files from a hacker who took them."  He walked them off.  Jack followed.  Carter took them to run because neither general was really technologically adept.

***

Jack and Prince Charles had a good talk together.  They had laid out how to do a few things to help each other.  Now he was going to let the prince talk.  Jack really didn't do speeches.  He had made one this week, that was his monthly tolerance.  He saw someone sneaking into the room from the back and winced at who it was and that he had a few young women with him.  They were working their way forward but one girl pounced someone and brought him down.  "Who was it?" Jack asked.

"One of the people who helped blow up the mosque last week," Xander told him.  "He's very sorry, Your Highness.  The Council is going to handle their own."  He walked him off crying while the girls guarded them.

"It's good to know that they're still around," Charles said with a smile.  "They've always been very helpful and protective of us all."  He went back to his speech.  He ignored any questions about the Council and it was better when they walked off to have a beer.  Charles has some wonderful microbrews from Scotland waiting on them.

***

Buffy was waiting when they got back with their former watcher prisoner.  "There were press there!" she complained loudly, stomping a foot.  "We're not supposed to get press attention!"

"We had to disarm his bomb," Xander countered, making her quit fussing.  "He's trying to rearrange the monarchy so his pitiful Lordship status is higher than it is now."  He handed him to Giles when he walked out.  "Question him so we can hand the James Bond people information on their plan to take out the monarchy."

"There's all sorts of questions being asked in the press," Giles complained.

"Within a few hours, they'll decide we're a covert program of the government.  All the rebuilding will take us out of press notice within days, Giles."

"Good point."  He walked him off to question him.

Xander looked at Buffy.  "We have bigger problems," he said more quietly.  "Finn has been telling people we're all quacks and I've heard rumors of him saying we're dangerous to the US."

She nodded.  "I'll kick his ass myself," she promised.  "Any idea why?"

"That little conspiracy against us?  They're part of it."  He pulled out a keydrive and handed it over.   "From Kyla."

She went to the computer room to read it, grimacing at what she saw.  "We should warn people in case they attack," she decided, bringing it to Giles once he was done with the former watcher.  She heard the yell that Xander had a vision but it wasn't an attack so she'd let them handle it.

The Last Man standing.

Xander showed up at the reopening of the Library of Congress's building, smiling at the man speaking.  He noticed when an agent spotted him and shook his head at his worried look.  When the speeches were done, Xander walked over to the curator.  "Mr. McRee?"

"Yes?"  He smiled at the young man.  "Do I know you?  A graduate student?" he asked politely.

"Watchers Council."  The man's mouth fell open.  "Rupert Giles found this in the library the other day and he wasn't sure why *we* had it."  He handed over the wrapped book.  "That was what it was wrapped in when we got it.  It was in a former Watcher's private library."

He took gloves from his assistant and carefully unwrapped it, gasping in shock.  "Thomas Jefferson's journal," he said, sounding awed.  He smiled at Xander.  "Thank you.  Are there others?"

"We have a bigger library than you do," he admitted.  "A lot of ancient books among them.  I have no idea what's in our library most of the time."  He grinned.  "But you might call to talk to him since we may be looking for a preservation person soon.  The librarians have all nagged at Giles about that, and as he's a research watcher formerly he understands why, but he's been too busy to look."

"I'll definitely do that.  Where are you now?  London?"

"Cleveland."  He handed over one of Giles' cards.  The man beamed and went to his office to safely store the precious tome.  Xander looked at the agent and pulled a folded manilla envelope out of his pocket.  "That needs to go to O'Neill today.  Some of the people on the Council are contemplating treason," he said quietly.  "Against us and you guys."  He handed it over.  "You'll make sure he gets it tonight so Willow doesn't have to freak out that blonde lady again?"

"Yes, Mr. Harris, I can do that."

Xander smiled.  "Know me from what?"

"Um, Mr. Finn...."

"Knows about that."

"Oh."  He grimaced.  "I'll hand it to his guards within an hour, sir."

"Thank you."  He turned and ran into a reporter.  "Damn, I thought I was stealthy."  She was staring at him.  "Am I that funny looking?  I put on the formal patch with the rhinestones," he quipped sarcastically.

"You were the man who got the person who was going to harm General O'Neill and Prince Charles."

"I led the team that got him," he corrected.  "Why?"

"Who are you?"

"Batman."  He walked off happier.  Both his missions had been accomplished and no one really wanted that journal in their library anyway since it wasn't paranormal related.  They really could use a good archivist at the moment.

The agent stepped off to call someone from a private broom closet.  They showed up to get the information.  Anything Council related was now delegated to Homeworld Security.

***

O'Neill got the information two hours later from his old boss.  "General Hammond."  He pointed at a chair.  "What is this?"

"Harris gave it to someone at the Library of Congress event."  He sat down, smiling some.  "You know I'm not a general now, Jack."

"Still feels weird to call you George, sir," he quipped.  He read it, grimacing.  "That's not good."

Hammond nodded.   "It's not.  Some of the information we have on the Council has been compromised by that source."

"I know that they have a large library, I was going to suggest Daniel go nose around in it for things on Atlantis or the Ori."

"That's not a bad plan.  How is Sam Carter doing?"

"She's still freaked that magic is real," Jack said with a grin.  "She's trying hard to keep her equations on paper instead of writing on the walls."

"I remember her in that state," he admitted dryly, smiling back.  "Anything else that's coming?"

"Not that we've heard."

"People are starting to get very interested in Harris."

"I find him a bit creepy but a lot like me," Jack said, sitting down behind the big desk.  "A bit smartass but gets it done when it has to be done."

"I've gotten a new profile done on him.  We've updated his background information and that of the rest of the Council higher ups.  The boy is a lot like you, Jack."  Jack grinned.  "I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not though.  How many of you can we take?"

"Maybe I'm the prototype.  After all, Sheppard is like a clone some days."

"True."  He grinned back.  "How are you handling things?"

"I haven't made any new enemies," he quipped.  "It's almost a record."  His former boss laughed, nodding.  "Other than that, the governors are driving me insane.  Hyt handles most of the public stuff for me, which I thank him for every day, but I get pounced now and then by an ambushing reporter.   I almost asked one the other day if she was possessed by a larva gou'ald but I stuck it at possessed."  Hammond snickered.  "I heard there's a nasty online rumor that some people want Harris for president."

"Thankfully he's under the age barrier," Hammond agreed.  "How is the election going?"

"It's nasty right now.  There's so much fighting, I'm not sure if any of them are going to be good choices.  They couldn't agree on what day of the week it is, much less what to do if we're attacked."

"We'll work it out, we always do."  He stood up.   "I heard rumors there's a move to keep you as well."

"I'd kill someone," Jack said bluntly.

"Get them together and point out that there are other threats out there, Jack.  See who backs down."   He left him to his misery.

Jack considered it.  "That's not a bad idea."  He wrote up a scenario and called Hyt.  Who was clearly quickly redressed.  "Should've told me you were in jammies, Hyt."

"I was only reading.  I heard Hammond was here."

"He's having the whole Council's backgrounds reworked."  He handed over the information on that plot and then the scenario.  "I want to see the front runners answer that.  Or everyone running for this job.  We know it'll happen sometime and damned if I want someone who doesn't know how to lead a battle."

He read it over.  "I'll give it out as a method of measurement from you."  He walked down the hall to the Press Secretary's office.  "O'Neill thinks the current yahoos running for office are weak.  He wanted them to do a scenario."

"Most would balk," she admitted, taking that to read over.  She smirked.  "Is he certain it will happen?"

"Sometime."  He left, going to work on that plot from his bed.  His laptop worked just as well up there and he could get comfortable.  He had no idea what was wrong with his back.  He'd have to have someone check it soon.

***

Hyt looked at the people in the room with him.  All the people running for president.  "O'Neill knows that it may happen and he wanted to make sure some of you had the balls to deal with issues going on."  He slid down the packets.  "Inside is a scenario of what may happen at some time, built on fantasy language so no one gets the wrong idea that it might be reality play-acting."  He looked around.

"Depending on the answers is who he'll support."  They all nodded at that, looking uneasy.  "Frankly, he's expressed disinterest in the lot of you because you can't manage to pull your heads out of your asses long enough to quit fighting with your prostates.  It doesn't do the people any good if you can't quit fighting."  He walked off, leaving them there.

They left to go to their various camps.  It was a military application so they understood why but they didn't like the scenario at all.  A few blew it off.  A few answered snidely in the scientific realm.  A few...  They took the time to answer it thoughtfully.  They needed O'Neill's support.  One saw through it because he had heard rumors about things like that and answered it honestly that he'd let the people who knew how to handle such things advise him and do what's best for the people to protect them.

***

Jack walked up to the podium, looking at the mass of reporters.  He hated this part of the job.  "Listen up."  They stared at him, cameras on, tape recorders on, pens ready.  "I gave the people running a scenario test.  Mostly to see who can think outside the box, who can reason and think beyond their own current knowledge, and who can handle an emergency situation at least hypothetically."  One woman raised her hand.  "Don't."  He looked at the rest.  "For right now, we have three that answered in ways that would protect people should something happen."  He put them aside.

"Frankly, one I'd like to see take over an agency instead because he has sense.  One I'd like to see take this job, I'll support any of those three that have some sense.  So, if I had to today, I'm narrowing down my *personal* choices to the Governors of Nevada and Maine, and former Senator Mills."  The reporters all started to babble questions.  "Stop it.  You're worse than cadets."

They quieted down.  "Again, these are my personal choices based on this scenario test.  They each have their points, their shortcomings, and I hope that the people pick someone who can do a *good* job.  I would recommend that they all talk to past presidents to see what the job actually entails because I had no idea how much butt kissing I had to do on a daily basis."  He walked off.

The Press Secretary stepped up with a smile.  "As he told you before, he's blunt."  He took questions about the scenario and other matters.  He avoided saying anything about Harris and the Council, as ordered.  He had no idea what was going on with them.

***

Xander looked up from his escort duty of a young slayer to the hospital for x-rays.  He spotted one of the snoopy, bitchy reporter types and mentally groaned.  Hopefully she was there for a reason instead of him but he was to be disappointed.  "What?" he growled.

"Are you ill, Mr. Harris?"

"I'm escorting a young woman for x-rays."

"Oh, I see.  Helping a friend then."  She smiled, sitting next to him.  "There's been rumors by a few people that they'd like you to back up O'Neill as president."

Xander gave her an odd look.  "I graduated with a low average, didn't go to college, do things that I can't talk about with others, and I'm too young by what I remember from civics class."

"That is a good point but if Regan could be an actor with mediocre grades, you might be able to."

He snorted.  "No thank you.  I'd make enemies very quickly and I'm much too blunt for diplomacy."  He stood up when the limping slayer came out.  "C'mon, we'll get a milkshake on the way home."

"Thanks, Xander."  She glared at the reporter.  "Are you one of the evil chicks that like to hit on him or something else that's dangerous?  If so, I'll get off these crutches and hurt you if you bother Xander."

"Chill.  She's a reporter," Xander sighed.  He walked her off.  "Thanks," he said in the elevator.  "I needed that protecting."  She giggled and hugged his arm.  "How bad?"

"They'll let us know tonight."

"Wonderful.  Chocolate?"

"Sure.  You can bounce around doing PT later."  He grinned at her smartassness and they went out to the car.

The reporter wrote her story and sent it in.  That was a very interesting thing to know.  Plus adorable how the young one tried to protect him.

***

Hyt walked past Carter in the halls, handing her the paper.  "For Jack."  He shook his head, stopping in the White House infirmary to get something for his back pain.  He really had to get that checked out.

Carter read the story, snorting and going to hand it on.  "To lighten up your day from Hyt."

He read it, snickering.  "I need someone to protect me from evil women too."

"I tried for *years*," she reminded him dryly, going back to her office.

Jack shook his head.  "That was usually Danny's fault," he told himself.  "Not mine."  He got back to work on the current peace plans.  Some countries still didn't want to be peaceful.  A few had hardliners that wanted to take over.  That really was a sucky thing.  He didn't want the wars they had going on.  If he could stop them, he would.  Maybe Harris had something that would eat those sort?

***

Jack looked up from his steak and beer out with the agents and a few other generals when a cheer went up in the other room.  "I wonder who won the game," he quipped.  One of the generals went to look, coming back pale and shaky.  "What?  Another attack?" he demanded.

"You might want to put down the knife, sir."  Jack gave him an odd look.  "You just won the primary by sixty percent."  Jack dropped the knife and fork, staring at him.  You could almost hear a subvocal whimper.  "It's you against Mills, sir."  He sat down to refill his glass of beer from the pitcher.

"No!  Hell no!" he shouted.  "I don't want it!"

"The people have spoken," one of the agents said.  "Sixty percent?  That's very good."

"He was written in on the other side's tickets for thirty percent by what the reporter said," the general told them.  You could now hear the whimper easier.  "So I'm pretty sure we're dining with the next president of the united states."

"Hell no!" Jack complained.  They all smiled at him.  Let him get it out of his system now.  "I have no idea how to do this shit for real!"

"Regan acted, sir.  I'm sure you can do at least as good as he did," one of the young agents said.  "If you turn it down, people will feel you're ungrateful and the next person in the job will have a harder time.  Step down after a year, turning it over to a good VP."

"Don't even look at me," Hyt complained.  "The doctor says I have to retire and go do things I've always wanted to do."  Jack stared at him.  "That back pain was my kidney shutting down," he said quietly.  "So I can stay until November as long as I'm low stress.  I'm starting on dialysis next week because the good one is only working ten percent of the time."

"Shit.  I'm sorry to hear that, Hyt."

"Me too.  There's hope for a transplant or something from one of the stranger projects."

"Area 51 has some stuff that might help," he offered.  "Talk to Hammond."

"I will.  Thanks, Jack.  And Congratulations, Mr. President."

"Don't start," he complained.  "I'd screw it up so fast."

"At least you've led men," one of the other agents noted.  "You've been in the field combat position, you've led a program, the other world leaders are scared to death of you."

The other general nodded.  "They are, Jack, and you know you can do the job.  You've done okay so far.  When Congress comes back, it'll be a bit more politicking but they already know you don't play games.   It could be worse, it could be Harris.  He's like your clone."

Jack shook his head quickly.  He didn't want to think about his clone doing this job.  It'd drive him nuts.  "Who would I pick for VP?"

"One of the others who lost to you is the usual thing," the young agent said.  "Or pick someone who fills in your weak spots politically."

"For that I'd need Sheppard back here."  They all smirked at him for that.  "I take it you guys have met John Sheppard?"

"His father," the generals agreed.

Jack nodded.  "The son's more stubborn.  He's on my old project."

"Is he thirty-five, a natural citizen, lived here for 14 or more years?" the young agent asked.

Jack considered it.  "I think he's thirty-three."  He grimaced.  "This is going to suck.  I hate doing paperwork now."

"Suck it up for the good of the people," Hyt told him.  "Pretend you're a Marine if you have to."

Jack gave him a dirty look.  "I do plenty of things that Marines would give me awed looks for."

"I've heard that," he quipped back with a smirk.

"You have no idea."  He sighed and drank the full glass of beer, getting another one.  He really didn't need this in his life.

"Look on the bright side, sir.  All those women who think older men are sexy will be hitting on you," the young agent said.

"Go get more beer to take that thought out of my head," Jack ordered.  He went to do that, laughing the whole way.  He went back to his steak.  He clearly needed a last meal as a normal person.  Because, yup, the world might end now.  He kept expecting a huge rain of fire to come down from God vomiting because he was laughing too hard.

***

The Press Secretary stopped by the next morning.  "Questions are being asked about your views on things and your personal life, General."

"Tell them I'm a freak of nature, I have a clone in the Air Force academy, I'm divorced, my son killed himself by accident with my gun, and I wasn't aware I was running," he muttered.

"I can spin most of that.  Dating?"  Jack gave him a dirty look.  "Favorite show?"  He pointed at his Homer-head candy dispenser.  It was currently filled with nuts; everyone in the White House knew that.  "VP pick?"  Jack shrugged.  "Campaign person?"  Jack shrugged again.  "Okay.  I'll start there. Anything bad in your war record?"

"Classified.  Most of it is."

"Your views on the current wars?"

"Let's get them self-sufficient faster."

"Oil?"

"Alternative energy is cool and necessary," he sighed.  "I know people working on it.  Must we, really?"

"Yes, you must."  He smirked.  "I'll call someone brilliant I know to come interview for your campaign head."  He walked off to get those facts ready for a release.   The general always made his job so much easier by not having scandals he had to worry about.

Jack put his head down with a groan.  His secretary brought him in some of that herbal painkiller the Harris boy had given him and some water then left him alone.  Jack mixed them together and drank it as fast as he could.  It tasted like ass but it worked well.

***

Jack had the dossiers in front of him of everyone qualified to be his running mate.  Which was a phrase he blocked out of his mind with a mental beep.  None of them could cover in case of problems.  None of them were more than politicians.  Some were smart.  Some were good at glad-handling and all that stuff Jack hated.  No one was worthy to help him screw things up.  Because he knew he would.  That would be his legacy, he screwed up the US.  He was sure of it.

"I need Sheppard," he muttered.  He picked up the red phone and called Landry.  "Hank, do you think I can talk Sheppard away from Atlantis?"  He listened to him complain.  "Seriously.  Hyt's sick.  Yeah and he's about what I need."  He nodded at the interesting facts.  "When are they coming back?"  He smiled at the 'due any week now' answer.   "I know, we'll clone him," he joked.  "Thanks, Hank.  Yeah, let him swear at me himself."  He hung up and put all the files together off on the corner of his desk.  Politicians, yuck.

***

Atlantis finally landed and settled into cloaked city mode.  They were all calming down, getting ready for whatever happened next, when the phone call hit John's desk.  It was strange to hear a phone after all this time without them.  "Sheppard," he answered.  He listened.  "General, are you feeling all right?" he had to ask.  He nodded.  "Yeah, I can go see the general asap.  Thank you, sir.  Let me warn people I'm going to be gone for a few hours."  He hung up and went down to the labs.  "Rodney, you might want to prepare everyone for the problems going on politically."

"Why?" he asked absently as he worked on things.

"Because apparently O'Neill is our pro-tem president."

Rodney gave him an odd look.  "Are you sick perhaps?"

"No.  Unfortunately not.  Also, O'Neill wants a sit rep?"  Rodney printed off the reports he had been working on, handing them over.  "Thanks, I'll be in DC for a bit.  Prepare a briefing on the current political messes going on?"  He left, going to the beaming area.  "Ellis, this is Sheppard...."  Before he could finish, he was beamed to the White House.  He stared at the general.  "Are you currently being overtaken by some sort of symbiote, space virus, alternate entity that we haven't got a name for, or something else evil, sir?"

"You should've heard my 'hell no' rant when I got the nomination, Sheppard."  He held out a hand, getting the reports.  He looked them over.  He handed over a disc.  "Briefing for the city's staff on the current world politics."  He looked at him.  "I need someone with your upbringing and style to run with me."

"Evan Lorne, sir."

"Too young."

"So am I by a year," he said, smiling happily.

"I can handle a year," Hyt called from the outer office area.  He walked in and nodded at Sheppard when he got saluted at.  "Nice landing, Colonel."

"Thank you, General Hyt."  He looked at O'Neill.  "You're joking, right?"

"No."  He nodded and the door got shut.  "We have the Ori showing up any year now.  We have your wraith.  We apparently have species we didn't know about who're down here already and mostly peaceful."  He stared at him.  "I need a guy who can handle the emergencies and Cam said no first."

"Jackson," he suggested.  "Or Carter?"

"He's a discredited scientist.  They'd never accept him," Hyt said.  "It's him or Mills, Sheppard."  John shuddered.  "Carter's too politically divisive.  Plus she tends to have too much tact at the wrong time."

John shook his head.  "I'm still too young.  What about other former presidents, senators, governors?  Hell, another actor?"

"I've looked over everyone who might share a viewpoint with me.  With Atlantis down here, I can slip you there most of the time, but you'd have to sit in on some senate hearings, so some minor council work, and then deal with the politicians so I don't shoot 'em."

"I'm a horrible choice, Generals."

"I'm about down to you or someone I'd hate personally," Jack told him.  "Any hole in a storm, Sheppard."

"Yes, sir, but I'd rather not be the hole in question, just on top."

Hyt cackled at that, patting him on the back.  "I understand fully, Sheppard.  If I wasn't sick, I'd ask.  Unfortunately I am."  John slumped.  "You can still be on your city most of the time."

"I'd have to be here most of the day," he complained.  "My geeks would blow us all up.  Ask McKay?"

"He's Canadian and he'd screw up things worse than I will," Jack assured him.

"I'm not ready to retire my commission, sir."

Jack looked at him.  "You can go on reserve status," he offered.  "Not like I won't be jumping in if something happens."

"They'd never accept me," John complained.  "I'm not a politician, I know nothing about the current politics....."

Jack shook his head.  "Someone assassinated every single world leader, members of anything congress-like in any country, and all the hardline clerics that are preaching war, Sheppard."  John slumped, whimpering.  "If not, pick me someone.  There's the stack of supposedly acceptable people."

John took the folders and left, going to whine to his friends.  They'd help him make sure he wasn't the Vice President.  "McKay, I need an intervention," he called once he was back on the city.  "Before I go insane!"  He stomped up the stairs to his office, making Lorne give him a dirty look.  He handed over the CD.  "Briefing on the current political messes since there's no president, congress, nothing."  Lorne gave him a horrified look.  "Get with McKay later to brief everyone."  McKay and Radek walked in with Woolsey.

"As of this moment, General O'Neill is the forerunner for the next President."  Woolsey grabbed his chest, starting to pant in pain.  "Med team to my office for Woolsey's heart attack and bring me some headache medicine packets."   They came rushing in and one of them did drop packets of tylenol on his desk.  They walked Woolsey off.  John looked at the others.  "O'Neill has asked me to be his VP, people."  He pointed at the folders.  "Those are the ones that they're suggesting.  If I don't find a replacement, we're all screwed."

McKay gave him an odd look.  "I found evidence of a cult....."  Lorne held up the disc so he snatched it and ran it, whimpering at what he saw.  "How in the hell!" he demanded.

Radek shook his head.  "Is fascinating but strange."

"Very strange."  John picked up the first folder to start sorting them.  "Lorne, find anyone acceptable not in here."  He turned to start a search running of who was still left.

***

John Sheppard walked up to where Jack was watching the Marine Ball.  He had dressed up, done his hair, all that.  "Sir," he said in greeting.  Jack smirked at him.  "I have three names."  He handed over the short list.  "We ran a program to help pick.  Those are in order of the program.  Radek and Rodney like the second choice.  I like the third.  Lorne likes either of those better."

"Thanks," he said, looking it over.  "Wrong party on yours."

"She might flip."  He sat down beside him.  "Her stated views are more in line with yours."

Jack considered it then nodded.  "I'll talk to the people they hired for me."  He put it into his shirt pocket.  "How's the city?"

"Good.  The briefing on all this got a lot of attempted non-sniffling.  We're working to be ready in case you need us."

"Excellent news."  He patted him on the arm.  "You didn't have to come."

"Yes I did.  The news vultures are saying you're going to announce it tomorrow."

"Well, for that, yeah."  He smirked, getting one back.  "I want to send the mini-me to you."

"We'd be glad to shelter him, sir."

"Thank you."  He walked off to talk to someone.   He tried to avoid all this mess but at least here he was surrounded by military people.  They'd protect him from the stupid stuff.

John got some appreciative looks and let himself be danced off by a pretty Major.

***

Jack's clone, Jon Tyler O'Neill, got beamed into the White House, staring around in horror.  "I know this is freaky for you," the clone told his original.  "Why suck me in?  One of us should have a normal life."

"Want to stay in the program?"

"You know I'd be back there if the last president had let me."  He looked at the closed doors then at him.  "Not admitting I exist?  Someone might think I'm a love child," he quipped.

"That's one thing I'm worried about.  I don't want to have to explain how you came to be," he shot back.  Jon smirked at him.  He smirked back.  "The lost city is back."  Jon mouthed 'Atlantis' getting a nod.  "You're going there.  Make sure they're getting ready for field combat, moving the teams to the mountain or in case something this Council has happen has backup."  He handed over the orders he had drafted.  "That good with you?"

"Will Sheppard fuss?"

"He knows you're coming.  That'll put you over training.  I'll be sending newbie teams to you too."

"Sure, I can do that.  What about my stuff at the academy."

"Finish it long distance.  Sheppard's working that out for you.  Also, have Carter fix the science command issue today."

"I can nag her.  I saw her in the halls of the academy earlier looking for someone."

Jack nodded.  "You sure?"

"It'll be less boring than taking all that over.  Though a few things have changed," he said dryly.  "Just don't suck me in here.  Before I go find a quantum mirror."

Jack snorted.  "It could be worse.  I have to keep in mind that all the countries haven't aligned so I'm not the planetary president."

Jon snickered.  "That would be worse, yeah.  Have fun with the pretty women who'll throw themselves at you."  He got beamed back.  He ran into Carter.  "I have orders," he said smugly.

"I heard."

"My originator said to fix the science command issue."

"Done.  He won't like it."

"Pity."  He went to pack and tell the commandant of the academy that he was being reassigned for a bit.  They'd arrange his school work for him.  Carter joined him with the kid of one of the people on the mountain who had apparently been injured so she was bringing him back.  They drove off.  The mountain wasn't that far away.  He could beam over from there.   When he landed, he grinned.  "Major Lorne."

"O'Neill."  He stared at him.  "What rank did they give you?"

"No clue," he admitted, looking at the orders.  "It's not listed either."  He handed it over.  "I'm training for the gate teams, emergency teams, and newbie training."

"Yay," Lorne said flatly, smirking evilly at him.  "Have fun with that."

"Too bad we can't really fish off the piers now."  Lorne laughed, assigning him space to train and live.  Jon walked around to get used to the city.  It did seem perky to him.  He ran across John Sheppard in the labs.  "I'm doing training."

"I got a faxed copy earlier," he said with a grin.  "Altantis, this is Jon O'Neill."  The nearest wall seemed to hum and sense him.  "She's very alive and likes you.  Or else you'd have been beamed into the bay.  She did it to one that broke something the other day.  Thankfully we rescued him from the sharks."

McKay smirked at him.  "I don't know why with how stupid he was."

"Do I have to do safety drills for you guys?"  They both shook their heads.  "Cool.  Any teams you want me to start with?"

"I'll get you a list tomorrow and files," John assured him.  Jon grinned.  "Also, if you want to fish, use the north pier.  There's some good fishing there.  We're catch and release unless you're cooking it in your room."

"Thanks."  He walked off, going back to his room to unpack.  This was going to be an easy assignment and keep him out of Jack's little problem of the press stalking him.  So good for both of them.

***

Jack looked at the assembled press people.  "I think you guys are insane for wanting me to stay," he said, smiling slightly.  "I'm not sure how badly I'll screw things up.  I hope not too bad."  That got a few laughs.  "But, since I'm the one the people seem to want, I have to give in with good grace and do the formal things.  Like picking a running mate."  He looked back at the hallway, waving a hand.  She walked out.  "This is former Representative Nesara Runit."  The people gasped.  He smirked.  "I find her views close to my own.  Her honorable intentions to be close to my own.  Her abilities in a panicked situation to be close to my own."

"Make no mistake, I was all set to sit at home and complain when he was too blunt," she said with a smile.  "Then he approached me to help him with the things he doesn't excel at.  I hope I can live up to that."

The reporters clapped.  Jack smiled.  "Any other questions?"

"Sir, do you like Futurama?" one male reporter asked.

"I do.  I like them, the Simpsons, comedy stuff."  He looked at her.

"Sorry, I don't really watch tv," she admitted.  "I'm a book nerd."  She smiled and a few smiled back.  "Any other questions?"  No one said anything so they went to talk and go over what needed to be done for the campaign.  Jack had no idea how these things went.  Which was a refreshing change.  She was used to piranha.   Jack was a shark but sometimes one you could call civilized and pettable.

***

John called the whole city together.  "People, as you know, this week is election week," he announced.  They all nodded.  "If you're voting, we need it today.  We have absentee military ballots.  For those in other countries, the main base sent over yours since most countries are having one very shortly."  That got a few more nods.  "We're not going to tell you how to vote.  If you do vote for the general, don't tell him.  He's still a bit freaked out."  A few laughed.  "Get them back to Woolsey today."  He pointed at the pile on the stairs.  They picked up what they needed from it and walked off.  John got his own and went to fill it out in his office.  McKay came up.  "Big problems in the Canadian elections?"

"Not yet.  It's in a few months."  He sat down, putting his feet up.  "Are you voting for O'Neill?"

"I think I might," he admitted with a smile.  "To pay him back for almost naming me his VP."

Rodney shuddered.  "That's a disaster in the making."  John nodded quickly.  "Have you heard anything about this guy Harris that's been talked about?"

"Yup.  The general filled me in."  He smirked.  "It appears magic is real."  Rodney spluttered.  "Carter did that for a few days then got really pissed off.  She's dealing with that.  Harris was the guy who helped get all the cult members after they did the assassinations."  He went back to it.  "What is this proposition?"

Rodney looked.  "To ban alternative languages in classrooms for primary education."

John ticked the box he wanted on that and went on.  He finally got done, sealed it up, and put it aside.  "Let's hope it goes all right."

"Unless the wraith or the Ori show up, it should be fine," Rodney reminded him, getting up and going to gather ballots.  It was going to be a long night watching the news.

***

Jack came back from the funeral for his VP.  It was six weeks until he was sworn in.  He had no idea there were gou'ald down here.  They had gotten the wrong car and blown hers up.  Fortunately his guards got the bomber and the snake when it came out.  He only heard about it afterward.  He flopped down in his chair, looking at his chief of staff.  "Well?  Got any ideas?"

"Who did you want before her?" he asked quietly.

"John Sheppard.  He's a colonel on my old project.  The problem is that he's six months too young."

"We can ask for an exception with the Supreme Court."  He went to send a message that they needed to talk about this issue.  Jack could deal with this issue for now on his own.  Things were going to be insane until the swearing in.  This was going to make it worse than usual.

***

Jack got beamed onto Atlantis, looking around.  "It's pretty in the light here."  Woolsey came out of his office, giving him a long look.  "Where's Sheppard?"

"Hiding.  He said if you showed up, he's not here and he's invisible."

"Hmm.  Atlantis, where is John Sheppard?" he called.  A light on the wall glowed and he followed them down to the labs.  He walked in looking smug.  "Sheppard."

"Damn it."

"That's probably the nicest thing you'll call me for the next four years."

"Oh, no!  I don't accept!  I'm not giving up the city for the white house."

"You can stay on the city for the most part.  Just look like you're living in DC.  You'll be on reserve status.  Doing the admin here will give you enough time in to keep your commission for when you're done."  He smirked.  "The same as I am."  He moved closer.  "Four years and then you're free," he said quietly.  "We're both free.  For right now, we have to control the rage.  People are vindictive and we'll have more hate crimes.  I need backed up."

John looked at him.  "There's got to be others."

"Not good ones.  By law, the president can pick the new VP outside of the line of succession.  You're the best I have."

"Should I start playing romantic music?" Rodney asked sarcastically.  "That way you can woo him?"

Jack reached over to swat him.  "No!  Though it's freaky that I have women tossing themselves at me.  That hasn't happened since I was his age."

"He has plenty of experience with that," Rodney assured him.  This time, John swatted him, getting swatted back with a scowl.  "I'm not your pet."

"You'd make a good dog," he joked with an evil smirk.

"I can ask Rosenburg if she can do that so Carter can test what magic can do," Jack offered.  Rodney huffed off.  He looked at John.  "They've cleared you since you're so close in age."

John huffed.  "I really don't want to.  I'll screw things up.  No one will accept me."

"Half of everyone has heard from your father about what a good man you are," Jack told him.  John growled.  Jack shrugged.  "I didn't ask and he thanked me for thinking of your career."

"I don't want stars either."

"I know.  But I need backed up here.  Cam's not old enough.  He's younger by a few years.   My second choice would be Lorne but he's a year too young.  Everyone else are politicians I'll have to work against or have agendas that will compromise the city and the mission."

John sighed but nodded.  "I don't want to do that much."

"Some senate hearings.  A few boards that are mostly philanthropic.  You get to name 5 kids to each of the military academies.  You can let all those women tease you all you want.  It'll save me from them."

John rolled his eyes.  "Fine."

"Thank you, Sheppard."

"You owe me."

"I know.  I owe you a lot."  He clapped him on the arm.  "Show up tomorrow.  Wear a uniform or good clothes."  He left, being beamed back.  His secret service agents were freaked out by the beaming but oh well.  They'd get used to it.  "Expect Sheppard tomorrow the same way."

"Yes, sir," they said.

"Relax, guys.  You'll break and snap in half."  He sat down to go over things.  His Press Secretary leaned in.  "John Sheppard will be here tomorrow."

"Thank you, Jack."  He went to slip out a hint that there was an announcement tomorrow.  People were going to be stunned.

Jack took some milk and cookies to his room.  He wanted some alone time to nurse his new headache.

***

John Sheppard walked in wearing his dress blues, hat under his arm.  "General."  He saluted.

"At ease, Colonel," he said, shaking his hand with a smile.  He grinned at the press people.  "I know it's very soon but I had to pick someone I could trust at my back.  Someone who would want the same things I do, to protect everyone in this country the way I will.  This is my choice, Colonel John Sheppard, USAF."  He got out of the way.

John nodded.  "Thank you, General."

"Colonel, are you related to the Sheppards that run an engineering and research company?" one reporter called.

"I am."  He smiled.  "That would be my father's company."  A few more pictures got taken.

"Sir, where are you serving now?" another reporter called.

"Classified."

"Did you serve with General O'Neill?"

"Same project but not really at the same time.  I once flew him to an outpost.  Other than that, we haven't done more than have casual conversations.  He knows me from my record, my service protecting and guarding my base, and that I do have the views that he wants."  He pointed at one.  "You?"

"Colonel, are you going to resign your commission?"

"I'm going on reserve status."  He pointed at another.  "You?"

"Colonel, some personal information?  Are you married, single?  Dating?"

"Divorced."  He smiled.  "I'm told now and then I flirt but otherwise, I'm a bit picky."

"Any children?" one woman asked.

"Not that I've been told.  I would hope I would be."

"Colonel, we know the General likes the Simpsons.  You?"

"I find them funny sometimes, but I like Family Guy a bit better."  He smirked.  "I'm all for comedy as well.  I like dramas, sports, comedies.  I'm a normal guy."

"Does your ex-wife know?" another female asked.

"I don't know.  We haven't talked in a while.  I imagine she's finding out right now if not."  He pointed at another.  "Last one?"

"Sir, what do you hope to do while being the vice president?"

"I hope I can help the general protect everyone in this country.  I hope to be there when he needs me to do more...diplomatic things.  I'm a bit less blunt," he finished with a smile.  He nodded and left, being led to the oval office.  John walked in and put his hat down.  "We've arranged things?"

"Of course.  He'll be over later with your paperwork."

"Are you sure you want me?"

"Yes," he said impatiently.  He glared at the younger man.  "You'll do fine."

"Yes, sir."  He sat down.  "What do I need to do?  I did a search on the hereditary duties."  Jack tossed over a folder, letting him read it over.  "How many eyes-only briefings are we getting that day?"

"Two others.  One started to come talk to me, realized who I am, and then laughed and said he couldn't tell me anything I didn't already know."  He smirked.  "Our favorite Major of tact and diplomacy is helping us."

"I'm sure he'll have a lot of apologizing to do for me," John quipped back.  The head of the Air Force knocked and walked in.  John stood up and saluted.  "Sir."

"Colonel."  He waved him down.  "I'm told that you're going on reserve status to make sure your general is backed up?"

"Yes, sir.  So he told me."

He laughed.  "Did he order you, Sheppard?"

"No, sir, but as the geek I was hiding with said, he nearly needed the romantic music."  Jack threw a paper ball at him.

"That's good."  He handed over the paperwork.  "That takes effect the day you get sworn in."

"Yes, sir, thank you."  He sat down to sign them.  He handed them back.

"If you should retire from this glamorous position, I'll rescind these and reinstate you."

"Thank you, sir.  I'll try not to let this turn me into an alcoholic."

The general smirked.  "It's not that bad."

"Sir, want the position?" John asked.

"Hell no.  That's why we voted Jack in."  He nodded at Jack and left.

Jack nodded.  "They sent me as the messenger and had Hyt tell me."

"Sucks large, sir."  He got comfortable, going back over his list of duties.  "So how much realistic time can I get on the city?"

"At least a few days a week, if not more."

"That'll work.  I hope.  The geeks are getting restless by the way."

Jack picked up the red phone, calling Landry.  "Let the people on Atlantis have some leave time, Hank.  They need some.  They're getting restless and they're just back from combat.  Also, evaluate them for battle stress and other complications that might mean they're not ready for later things."  He hung up.  "That'll fix that.  Do you have a tux for the inauguration ball?"

"No.  Nothing presently fashionable."

"Fix that today, Sheppard.  I had to as well."

"Yes, sir, if I must shop I will."

"Good."  His phone rang.  "What?" he answered.  "That's fine.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Your brother is here.  Someone told him you'd be here."

John nodded once.  "He'd be better at this."

"So have an advisor," Jack said with a hand wave.  "Go shop, get pretty so all the shallow ones can throw themselves at you."

"Yes, sir."  He got up and went to join his brother.  "Morning."

"John."  He shook his hand with a smile.  "How are you doing?"

"I'm good.   Freaked out but good."  They walked off together.  "I've been ordered to find a tux."

"You need more than a tux."  He led him out to their car and got him in.  A car with two guards fell into place behind them.  "Think you need the guards?"

"No, but it's protocol."  He shrugged.  "I can't really upset that."  They pulled into a parking spot next to a designer shop and got out to go inside.  The guards followed, nodding at the clerk.  John smiled.  "I'm going to the inauguration ball.  I'm told I need a tux."

"Yes, sir," the clerk said, walking him into a private room.  That way the guards could relax.  She'd find out later who she had fitted and nearly groped.

***

John watched as something ran into the ball he was at, staring oddly at the creature.  "Is it streaking?" he asked the guard next to him.

"No, sir, I'm not really sure what that is.  Please don't get too close."

"I'm not scared of anything like that."  A young woman came running in and tackled it then dragged it off.  "Huh, really strong," he noted.

"Must be one of those Council people then," the other guard said.

John nodded.  "I want to hear more about that."

"So would we, sir."

"Okay."  He watched as the thing tried to come back in but a man with an eye-patch came in to grab it by the ear and drag it off.  A few hooted and whistled at him, getting an intolerant frown and a wave.  "Any idea on him?"

"That's Harris.  We have no idea otherwise, sir."

"When you know, I want to know.  That's interesting."  He sipped his drink.

The guards went to make sure the demon problem was done with for the night.

John got talked into dancing with a young socialite who clearly was beneath his brains.  His and Rodney's rating for the stupidity of the new staff that came to Atlantis was too high for this one but he'd endure.  He only had 4 years of this, right?

***

Jack looked up as Harris was walked into his office the next day.  "What was that?"

"Streaker."

"Fixed?"

"Slayer nagged and it's now going to rehab."

"Any others I'm going to have to see in the press?"

Xander shook his head.  "Probably not?"

"Fine.  The local girl?"  Xander wrote down an address.  "That's a prep school."

"She's seventeen.  All the slayers are called as teenagers.   Then they get training time, mentoring, all that."

"Who decides who gets called?" Jack asked a bit too calmly.

Xander shrugged.  "The slayer line was started way back when, during cave painting days.  They started the line, they wrote all the books, all that, until they got blown up.  The fact that there's more than one is partially my fault and majorly Willow's due to the problem that blew them up."

"Explain that?" Jack said.

"I did CPR, which called a second slayer while the first was saved.  The line went through her."  Jack nodded slightly at that.  "Originally, it was one is called, fights, dies, the next is called."  That got a stronger nod.  "With the CPR, we have two, one that calls the next and one that doesn't.  Then we had that huge ass problem and Willow activated the *entire* line.  So now they're all called at fifteen, train for a few years, then get posted.  Then they get backup, support, more training, all that.  Before it was one watcher, one slayer, usually from very early in their lives."

"Okay, so before they were covert warriors, now they're soldiers," Jack said.  Xander smiled and nodded.  "Why is she out at seventeen?"

"Her mother demanded."

"Oh.  Okay."  He looked him over.  "Should we call her or you when the next one happens?"

"Her.  I'm going back to Africa to get out of cellphone range.  Before I smite my bitchy friends and then stomp off after having to destroy their bodies."

Jack smirked.  "Nagging?"

"That too.  So I'm going to go where my girls appreciate me."

"That's fine.  We'll call her or Cleveland if we have issues.  Be safe."

"I'll try.  Be safe and good luck, General."  He walked out looking happier.  He had a flight coming up in a few hours out of the country, out of nagging and whining range, and away from spoiled girls.  His girls in Africa weren't spoiled in the least and treated him like a friend, not a pet.

Jack looked at his guard.  "Thanks."

"Welcome, sir.  The colonel is waiting to see if you need him today."

"He has 3 weeks to pick his candidates for the military academies.  Give me his cast offs so I can pick mine."  That guard nodded.  The other handed over a few folders.  "Gee, thanks," he said dryly.

"Open spots that need appointed, sir."

Jack grimaced.  "I'm hoping I can do that."  He got into them.  He had no idea how to pick someone to be the head doctor in the country.  Or the head of the FBI.  Then again, he had advisors.  "Mark!" he called.  His chief of staff came in.  "Tell me about the people open for these."  He handed them over.

"Okay."  He sat down to go over each position, the type of person it needed, and the current bets for who might fill it.  A few Jack made more notes on but otherwise he agreed with the odd makers.  He'd have to interview them later.

***

Six months later, Xander made a call.  "Jack, small issue.  Are there any teams anywhere near where I am in Africa?  Because me and my three girls are facing about 900 people in a militia who want the girls."  He listened.  "Really?  Not even a quiet team that's just done?  Damn.  Okay, well, fair warning.  You're going to hear that I'm mean.  Thanks, man."  He hung up and walked off to get creative.

"Xander, who is Jack?" one of the girls asked.

"President O'Neill.  We had to read him into demons and things; totally freaked him out."

"You know a president?" she asked, looking confused.

"Before he was a president.  Barely."  He smiled.  "He's a general."

"Oh."  She nodded.  They were going to have to help him protect them all.  His phone rang.

Xander looked at it then answered it.  "Do I know you?" he asked in greeting.  He listened to the genteel British voice.  "How close are they?"  He grimaced.  "That means they're with the militia, dude.  Thanks anyway though.  Well, I'd get them to pull back.  I'm not going to be gentle.  Thanks anyway."  He hung up and texted Willow to let her know that someone had tapped his phone or the white house phone.  Then he got back to being creative.

His phone rang again.  "Hey, Giles."  He listened.  "I know you did not say to sacrifice one of the girls and then rescue them later," he said dryly.  He hung up.  "Apparently Willow's doing spell work on Giles again," he said sarcastically.  "I'll talk with him later."  The girls all relaxed.  He grinned.  "He said to rescue you later, but I'll be damned.  You girls aren't expendable and if they can't ask, they don't need the help."  They cheered and got to work with him.

***

Xander blew the first bomb and watched.  He looked back.  "Where's Tam?"

"She went to put the calf back," the nearest girl said quietly.

Xander grimaced.  "Set it off if they move closer."  He walked out to find his errant slayer.  "Tam?"   She made a noise from the barn.  He looked then waved her over.  Someone yelled and came toward him.  So Xander killed him.  They went back inside.  "Set them off."  Most of the other bombs went off.  Xander went to look at the one that didn't.  He used his cellphone to set it off since they had a remote jammer.  They went off too.  He saw a few living.  "Next time, ask," he said firmly.  "We'd help if you asked."

He walked back toward the house.  "Clean up your mess, gentlemen.  Before the creatures do it for you."  A few tried to come up but Xander set off another small charge and it made them run.  "Ah," he said as he walked in.  "Better again."  He slammed the door.  "Maybe now they'll ask us to deal with the thing that we dealt with last week."  The girls handed him a bowl of ice cream.   He had taught them how to use the churn he had found in Cairo.  "Thanks, ladies.  Let's do a turn around the house and then we'll relax."  They nodded, taking a different route around the farm.  They came back to make a calming down dinner while they waited for the next thing to happen.  Because it always seemed to.

***

Jack got the report on the problems in Africa the kid had called about, nodding.  "Well, it looks like he handled it all right without backup."  He let John see it since he was in the office.

John read it over.  "I've never seen an explosive that does that."

Jack took it back, nodding.  "Me either.  Huh.  Wonder if he'll share."  He put it aside after putting a sticky note on it with a note about the explosive.  "We have two other intelligence reports we need to go over."  He let John have them.  "I think we'll need to talk to the others about one but the other I'm not sure if we should get involved or not."

John read them over, tossing one back.  "Stay out of that one, sir."

"That's the one I was thinking needed help."

John shook his head.  "They'll mutually destroy each other but if we step in, they'll both attack us."  He handed back the second one.  "That's a Brit territory.  Let them."

"They passed it on."

John grimaced.  He shook his head.  "No.  It'll end up miring us again."

"Good point.  I was hoping for some subtle covert work."

"Probably not, sir."

"Pity."  He made notes and put them aside.  "Anything on the senate's plate?"

"Nothing huge."

"That's a good thing then.  Anything that's being whispered about?"

"Two things.  They're already talking about midterm elections.  A few aren't sure they want to stay."

"Okay.  Anyone important?"

"A few on some important seats."  He shifted to put his feet up on the coffee table.  "I emailed you a list."

Jack got into his computer, finding his password inside the desk where they made him put it.  He read the email, nodding at the points it made.  "Okay then."  He printed it and put it into a folder labeled 'gossip'.  "Anything you see we need to look at?"

"Cost of living for military families?"

"True, it's about time for that."  He made another note.  "There's a lot of details I keep missing."

"Sir, with all respect, that's why you have an assistant.  She said she was bored yesterday."

"True.  I can let her keep track of some of that.  She's been in this town longer than I've been alive."  He paged her, letting her come in.  He handed over the gossip file.  "Summarize and let me know what I need to worry or think about in that mess."

She read it over, nodding.  "I can do that, sir."  She went back to her desk to call around.   That way she had what she needed to tell him.

Jack smiled at John.  "Good job.  Yours?"

"Keeps playing phone tag with Rodney to annoy him."  Jack laughed.  "I missed my check in this week so he's been nagging."

"That sounds like him, yeah."  One of the staff members brought in an envelope and left again.  Jack read it, grimacing.  "My Secretary of Health and Human Services just quit.  Her father is ill and she's needed at home."  He put it aside and called his chief of staff in.  "Did you see this?"

"The resignation for the DHHR secretary?"  Jack nodded.  "She told me last night.  She's been wrestling with it for days."

"That's fine.  Get me good candidates?"

"I'm already compiling."

"Thanks."

"Welcome."  He left, going back to his office.

John looked at him.  "The diplomatic ties?"

"Are going pretty decent.  We have a G-8 meeting next month sometime.  Are you going with me?"

"I can if you want."

"It's in Geneva."

"Then I might."  He shrugged.  "Wouldn't bother me any."

"Good."  He smiled.  "Because I'm totally lost there."

John nodded with a smirk.  "I know, sir."

"Thank you for being subtle."

"Not a problem."  He stood up, pushing down his shirt again.  "Let me go do some puzzles in my office."  He walked off happier.

Jack shook his head.  John was such a smartass sometimes.

***

Xander got pulled back to the US, against his will, but the girls said they needed him.  He had no idea why they needed him.  Hell, the Secret Service was into it now.  He walked into the house.  The girls all gave him dirty looks.  "What?  Buffy called.  Get over it already."  They slumped.  He walked back to the office area.  "You yelled, M'Lady Buffster?"

She smiled.  "The girls need you."

"They need spanked," he corrected.  "A lot."  She slumped.  "They're spoiled."

"I guess.  They seem pretty normal to me," she said.

"That's because you were spoiled."

"Possibly."

Xander looked at her.  "Two of my girls had to be taken from their villages because they were out of food, Buffy.  They were going to sell one off into marriage for a few meat cows."  She shuddered.  "So no, you're spoiled.  We're all spoiled."

"I guess."  She shrugged.  "I need you to straighten them out.  We're coming up on that battle."

Xander stared at her.  "Where's Faith?"

"Scotland?" she guessed.

Xander stared at her for a minute.  "Did Willow do something with magic that made you turn back into the fifteen-year-old airhead?"  She hit him on the arm.  He smacked her on the forehead with the heel of his hand.  "Really?"

"No."  She pouted.

He walked off shaking his head.  "Practice room, now!" he shouted.  They mostly scurried that way.  A few didn't.  He gathered them by their hair.  The first thing he did was line them up and beat them each in turn.  He stared at them when they were done.  "If I can do that, you're out of practice, sloppy, and going to die soon.  Isn't the first rule still in effect?"  They groaned but nodded.  "I swear I'm having someone check for magic.  Where's Dawn?" he shouted.

"With Faith!" Buffy called back.

"You too!"  She huffed but walked in.  He attacked and beat her for a change.  He stared at her.  "Are you feeling puny?  You were better when you were dying from the flu, Buffy."  She gaped.  He stared back.  "Really, you were."

"I....  Maybe it is magic."

"We'd better find out, huh?"  She nodded, getting up and going to call Willow's phone in Devon.

Xander looked at the others.  "Okay, let's fix this shit.  Line up, let's do it again."  They lined up and tried to beat him again.  A few actually managed to get him down.  Yeah, someone magical was causing problems.

***

Xander found the problem and walked into the lair of the new problem.  There was one easy way to solve this.  He ran into Riley Finn.  Pity.  He had lost his sense of subtle, fair play in Africa.  There was no more problems.  Then suddenly someone popped up in front of him.  "Hey, Warren," he said with a smile.  He shot him.  "Bye, Warren."  He set the bomb and walked off, letting it go off behind him.  He shook his head as he walked out and into agents.  "Hi, Xander Harris, Watchers Council."

"I heard, sir.  What's going on?"

"These were the people going after the girls.  Pity."  He walked around them, shaking his head.  "Willow, bring me to Devon please?" he called.  He disappeared.  He walked into the coven's building and found her pacing.  He backed her into a corner, staring her down, making her shrink back.  "Spells are bad on the slayers," he said coldly.  "Remove every single one," he snarled.  "Or we will go round, Willow.  Am I clear?  You're endangering their lives."  He shifted closer.  "They're so weak right now, they were no problem when two agents rushed in to try to save them."

She whimpered.  "If they're weaker, they can't find them to target them."

"If they're weaker, they can't save their asses," he snarled.  She shrank down some.  "Fortunately I still know explosives.  Therefore less problems.  Act to solve the problem by tracing them, not weakening the defense system."  He let her go.  "Fix it, Willow."

"I will.  I promise I will."

Xander stared.  "Remove every single spell, Willow.  Every single one.  Now."

"It'll take me some time."

He stared at her.  Then at the witches watching.  "Will it?"

"Not if she's removing it."

Xander pulled his gun and pointed it at her.  "I promised myself you would not get to the point of being on that cliff again, Willow.  If I have to, I will make sure you never reach that junkie point again."  She started to cry.  "Remove them.  Now."  She ran around him and broke a few things.  He stared at the witches, who nodded.  "Make her remove the rest.  She only weakened the girls in the US."  He walked off shaking his head.  He really had to do something about that issue.  He went back to Giles, who was glaring at the girls.  "The slacking was only half their fault and Willow's removing the spells now."

"Excuse me?" Giles asked calmly.

"All this slacking?  She was weakening them so they wouldn't be found.  By the way, problem solved."  He walked off again.  "Ladies, get dinner, stretch, and let's go again."

"Yes, Xander," they sighed.

"The girls in Africa must be super slayers better than Buffy," one hissed to her best friend.

Xander looked back at her.  "They're allowed their slacking times but they work up to their potential and keep in practice."  She shrank back.  He grinned.  "Though, yeah, two of them are as strong and as good as Buffy.  The other's only been called for a year."  He pointed.  They went in to warm up.  He moved to warm up as well.  This time, the girls were better.  Much better.  "Good," he decided.  "Keep going against each other."  They sighed but went back to practicing.

Buffy leaned in.  "Xander, you're mean."

"You're slacking.  You've gained five pounds."  She huffed.  "Come join in, Buffy."  She sighed but came in to work out too.  "You wanted me to come beat the spoiled out of some of them," he quipped.  "Dawn, get my girls?" he called when he heard her.

"Sure."  She got the girls in and pointed.  "Xander's running practice with the other slayers, ladies."  They smiled and went to beat them.  Buffy gaped at a few moves but they were good.  Her level of good.  The youngest one was still really good too.  Dawn smiled at the two agents she had also let in.  "What problem did you come about?"

"That little conspiracy against you," the lead agent said.  "We heard it was partially fixed and we'd like to talk to Mr. Harris about how he did that."

Xander leaned out of the practice room.  "Dawn, show them the recipe for that demon snot bomb."  He went back in there.  He saw the spell starting to fall again.  "Dawn?  Can you get me to Devon?" he called.  She came in and canceled the spell.  He grinned.  She shivered.  "I think Willow and I need to have a junkie talk.  I promised myself she would not get to the point where she was when she hit that cliff."

"Sir," one of the agents said, walking in.  "The president wanted to talk to her about the magic versus science debate that his former project is having.  I'm sure they can help her calm back down from her kick."  He looked around then at him.  Xander nodded.  "They will be very corrective."

Xander smiled.  "Sure, you can come with me.  Dawn, can you?"

"Of course.  Give me your gun, Xander."  He muttered 'like I need it' and handed it over.  She smiled as she sent them off.  For some reason the girls from Africa weren't affected.  Dawn got them to the kitchen for a snack while the others came out from under the sleep spell.

Xander walked into the building, seeing the sighing witches.  "This nice agent wants to offer her a job after I break her curse."  He found Willow in her room.  He pulled her up, over his knee, and paddled her until she was screaming and begging.  Then he kept going after waving his hand a bit to get the feeling back in it.  By the time he was done, she had released all the magic in her.  No more spells were active.  Nothing was backlogged.

She was breaking down, her ass was worse than cherry red, it was probably a bit bruised, but it was ended.  He put her on the bed, staring at her.  "No more," he said simply.  "We're your friends.  We cannot let you go down this path again.  Never again, Willow."  He backed off.  "There's an agent here who wants to have you work on the science versus magic thing.  The president himself asked."

"They won't want me now," she sniffled.

"He knew before he asked."  She stared at him.  "It's your last shot at redemption.  Got it?"  She nodded, getting up with a hiss and a wince, giving him a hug.  "I love you like a sister but damn, girl."  He got free of her.  "Go talk to the agent."  She nodded, going to talk to him.  One of the senior witches came in.  "Thank you."

"Sometimes it takes the hand of the Goddess in a stronger body."

Xander stared at her.  "Sometimes it making her realize she's gotten to the junkie point again and stopping her," he countered.  She flinched.  "Not teaching her how to do tiny things."  He looked and broke a few important things that might hold power.  The released power went into the power sink she had to sleep with.  Then he threw that out the window. It broke with a pretty crash and tinkle.  One other thing got a long stare and he just cracked it a bit.  It was a statue of Tara.  He wouldn't do that to her.  The energy inside dissipated.

He walked out.  "It's all back into the earth mother," he said quietly, staring at her.  "Tara's statue has a small crack but I didn't break it."  She nodded, smiling at him.  "The rest is history."  She smiled at that.  "Behave, write letters."  He tweaked her ear as he walked around the agent.  "Let me get back to the girls.  They've been slacking."  Dawn brought him back.  "Thank you, munchkin."  He kissed her on the cheek, staring at her.

"I'd never go there," she reminded him gently.

"I know.  Thank you."  He went to the kitchen.  His girls were nibbling on things they hadn't had before.  "Dawn made nachos.  Cool."  He sat down to nibble with them.  The others showed up a few minutes later.  "Practice in the morning, ladies."

"We have chores," his girls reminded him.

"I know.  It'll be fine for an hour or so."  They nodded and dug in again.  This cheese stuff was really neat.

***

Jack got the report from his people about what had happened, nodding at the information included on Willow and magic addictions.  "Good for him," he said quietly.  "Where is he?"

"Cairo today, shopping for his girls' needs."

"Decent."  He put it aside with a smile.  "She already at the Mountain?"

"Yes, sir.  I had Colonel Carter take her."

"Excellent work.  Thanks."  He nodded and left.  Jack made a few notes for himself on what he wanted to see.   Then he sent an email to McKay so he could join in.  That way both chief scientists could swear for a bit.  John was let in so he handed over that folder.

"I'll have to tell Rodney.  He'll want to curse at magic too."

"I sent an email."  Jack smiled.  "Harris sounds like a mini you."

"He does," he agreed.  "Any idea what he was talking about with the cliff?"

"Not yet," Jack admitted.  "I'm hoping it's in his profile by now."

"You think we can ask the kid?" John suggested.

"Probably won't be complete."  He shifted.  "I'd ask Finn but he was captured last night during the raid on the conspiracy group."

"Wonderful.  Any idea how that got started?"  Jack shook his head.  "Do we need to maybe insert someone in there?  Maybe an arms master?"

"Danny is going over to the library as an archivist and linguist.  Mr. Giles has already agreed.  By the way, that is a headache inducing talk, John.  He's worse than McKay when he's in an explaining mood at times.  Apparently he never gets to fully explain anything to the girls."  John smirked a bit, nodding too.  "So he'll fit in there.  We're keeping Rosenburg for a while to go over what magic can really do for the normal sorts and the exceptional ones like she is."

The red phone rang.  "That's gotta be Landry."  He picked it up.  "Yeah?"  He listened.  "That's fine, Landry.  Anything new on the Ori front or other problems?"  He listened and nodded.  "I have no idea what to do about them.  Um...  What did Rosenburg say?"  He listened then shook his head.  "No, not a good idea.  I'll have someone show up and figure that out.  Give me twenty."  He hung up and dug out Harris' card, calling him.  "It's O'Neill.  We just found demons in my old program."  He listened.  "Why are you in Switzerland?  I thought you were in Cairo."  He nodded.  "Good to know.  Do I need to warn anyone?  Even better.  Who's still local?  Cheyenne?"

He nodded again.  "Please do send her my way and I'll have her sent out there.  Thank you, Harris."  He hung up.  "We'll be meeting with the senior slayer in a bit."  A flash of light heralded a petite blonde girl with her hair pulled up in a semi-respectable bun.  "Miss Summers?"  She smiled and nodded.  "How did you get here?"

"Dawn."

"Your sister?" Jack asked.

"Yup.  We were told you've seen Willow do it before.  Why?"

"Wondering.  Is she going to have problems like Miss Rosenburg?"

Buffy grinned.  "No, she's got more than enough power.  Really.  So, what's up that you need a slayer for, Mr. President?"

"Our old project just found some demons working there, Miss Summers.  We're vital in the role of Homeworld Security so we need you to make sure that they're peaceful, working toward the same goals we are, and whether or not we have to worry about them being possessed or anything else," John told her.

She nodded.  "Can't Willow?"

"No.  She's basically stuck in a lab with others testing the limits of what she can and should do," Jack said.  "Plus how it interacts with real science, theoretical science, and things like high power energy applications."

"Oh, okay.  Well, Willow likes science."

Jack smiled.  "In return, we have a very bored linguist and book nerd that would like to come take up residence in your library.  Doctor Jackson has been in many situations that were life threatening so you don't have to worry he'll be someone you have to protect."

She grinned.  "Giles would love another adult person who reads to talk to.  We usually aren't that way."  She looked at the hotty VP.  "So many of the girls have your picture up on their walls.  A few wanted to join the military because of how yummy you looked in your uniform that time.  We've told them that it might not be possible because of our gifts but you're the universal symbol for drool for us."

He cleared his throat and smiled.  "Thank you for letting me know that, Miss Summers.   If they want to go military, I can send someone good to talk to them about possible careers, especially with their unique gifts."

"We're kinda worried that someone might take some of us to experiment on.  We almost sent Xander as a messenger to the NID morons."

Jack smiled.  "I know their head personally and I'll have a talk with him about leaving you girls alone."  She beamed at him.  He stomped on an inappropriate thought.  "Let's get you to Colorado."

"Cheyenne is in Colorado?"

"Cheyenne Mountain, NORAD's base," John told her.

"Oh!  Okay."  She nodded.  "I've heard of what you guys do but not where."  She shrugged.

Jack picked up the phone to call.  "Hank, she's here.  Also, get me a face-to-face with the moron sucker at NID."  He hung up.  General Landry got beamed in.  "Buffy, this is General Landry.  He's over the project at the moment.  He'll give you a secure place to talk to the demons we found so you can make sure they're good people."

"That's fine."  She shook his head.  "Is that like Willow'porting?"

"Not quite from what we've figured out."  He tapped his earpiece and had them beamed back.  He smiled at her thrilled look.  "It's a bit more handy.  There's a conference room you can use."  He led her into it, letting her set herself up while the MP's got all the demons up for her to talk to.

Buffy looked at them.  "Three of you are chaos sorts.  Why?"

"They do create great chaos, more than the Great Knight does," one said with a happy grin for her.  "We wish to bask in the glow and worship the cause."

She considered it.  "You're not harming the project?  Nothing like Ethan would do?"

"He would be proud of us as well," that one assured her.

Buffy pointed at a corner.  "We'll talk more in a few minutes.  Baldy," she said with a point at one of the MP's.  "The green one next to you is from a clan of hired assassins.  The blue one with gills is wearing a crappy illusion.  Should've bought better, dear.  And the one directly in front of the general is evil as shit since he's one that helped shoot politicians."  They gathered those.  "The rest, outside the chaos sorts, are all peaceful clans.  Guys, are we here to hurt the program?  If you lie to me, I'm bringing Xander back.  He's been meaner since he ran away to Africa."  They all shook their heads quickly.  "You sure?"  They nodded.  "Then they're cleared."  Landry walked them off to talk to them about any special gifts they may have.  Buffy looked at the chaos sorts.  "Tell me what you're really doing here."

"The Prince said that the chaos here needed to be filtered and helped to a useful purpose because it is too much even for Janus to hold," another said, coming over to sit down.  "That the flow here must be filtered so it does not create havoc and ruin.  The Prince said that our people are necessary here to keep things from getting worse.  That we would tip things in the balance to the positive side instead when most necessary."

Buffy considered it.  "What if the balance goes the other way?"

"Around here, that is called an attack," that one said with a smile.  "They do much like your team would have."

"I'm happy to hear that.  Xander respects them a lot."

"The Great Knight knows that most of us here work for the advancement of humanity and today the power flow is growing so we've been more visible nearer to the source.  Which was why we were caught."

Buffy looked at him.  "You have to tell them that, and put it into words they get.  They get attacks, battles, those things.  Is that why it's growing?"

"One nears but does not come near yet," he assured her.  "Within months it will be too near.  Then the chaos would get too much even for us and we may have to call in the Prince."

"If you tell them that, they'll try to head off the problems," Buffy told him.  He smiled and nodded, getting up to go do that.  The others followed.  She looked at the remaining ones.  "You guys in are in such deep shit I should bring Xander so he can work off his foul mood again.  Clearly, Africa's being bad to him."  She stood up.  "Who sent you?  Why are you here?"

"You are but a slayer, another will always come," one of them sneered.

She smirked.  "No, I'm the Mother Slayer.  There's already plenty of us here."  The demon tried to hit her but she was still Buffy.  And Buffy was damn good at what she does.  All three of those were down and groaning withing minutes.  She pulled out a knife to clean her nails with.  "Now, wanna give me what I want to know or should we talk some more?  I can channel Faith.  She'd be very proud of me."  She smiled sweetly.  "So would Xander."

"The Knight will fall," one sneered.  "There will be no more knights soon."

She stared at him.  "Someone's going to take out hunters?"  He nodded.  "We'll get a warning to them somehow.  I've met a few."  She sat on the edge of the table, staring at them.  "Any other news I need to hear before we kill you?"  One gasped and moved away.  "Try it, Junior."  She looked at the other two.  "Well?  I don't have patience and the girls got me up *way* early today."  The general came back in.  "So far we've got a plot to take out hunters, them getting in your way.  That one's a world peace demon who's willing to kill for it."

"The enemies are spoken of as one being that will never let us have peace," that one said.  "That we had to help stop it, even though wars are not ours ways, because it would destroy humanity and all peace."

Buffy stared at him.  "Then you tell us because what you guys did means you're not welcome here."  She looked at the other two.  "Spill it, toddlers.  Before I let Xander spank like he did Willow."  One tried to get up but she kicked him back down.  "Eww, you got snot on my boot!  They're new!"  She kicked him again.  "Idiot demon."  She stood up, staring at him.  "I'm not going to ask again."  They babbled and tried to move away.  Buffy looked at the general, smiling.  "Did you need more than that?"

"Can they be killed easily?"

"All three can be beheaded.  That one can be shot too if you have lead," she said with a point.   He shuddered.  "That's why we use stakes and things.  Though I'm told the other type of hunters use guns."  She shrugged and smiled.  "Are there others, General?"

"Not at the moment.  I'll have Doctor Jackson go back with you, that way you can introduce him if you don't care?"

"I don't mind.  Giles could use more adult friends who read."

He smiled.  "Thank you, Miss Summers."  He went to get his anthropologist and send him to his doom.  A house full of teenage girls was doom to most adult men.  He had those three put in cells.  Miss Rosenburg was kind enough to know how to behead for him even.  She did it magically by snapping her fingers.  So even less messy than usual.  Landry sighed in pleasure once she was gone.   It was lucky no one had gated in.

***

Buffy walked Daniel into the house.  "This is our slayer house here on the hellmouth.  Giles, I brought you a new friend," she called as she led him back to the kitchen.  "This time of day he's making tea.  He said Andrew doesn't boil it long enough or something."  She shrugged.  "Giles, this is Doctor Jackson.  He's an anthropologist and language person.  The president's project had him but he's bored and wanted to book nerd in our library."

"I've heard of your theories," Giles said, nodding politely.

Daniel smiled.  "I'm told that we can share limited information since we believe that you have histories that would support what we know to be true.  Including the war against the False Ones in Egypt and the Chappa'ai."

Giles stiffened, staring at him.  "Excuse me?"  Daniel nodded back.  "Oh, dear.  Well, that explains much.  We thought those against demon king sects."  He took his tea off.  "Come, Doctor Jackson, let us talk.  Thank you, Buffy, and you do look nice today."   He shut them in his office so they could talk without interruption.  The girls knew not to bother him during tea time unless it was an emergency.

Buffy got a few cookies Giles had left out and walked off to gather stuff for laundry.  She hated doing laundry but Andrew was great at it.  She handed it over with a pout.  He huffed but walked off with it.  "You should talk to the new nerd, Andrew.  He does freaky things that had chaos demons in glee."  She skipped off.

Andrew shrugged.  "I know what he does already.  Star Trek's still better."  He sorted things for her by level of goo and pink or not pink.   It was the only way to do Buffy's laundry.

Situation: FUBAR

In the Midwest a few days later, a young woman rode her bike up to a salvage yard, going to the owner.  "Mr. Singer, can we talk for a moment please?" she asked politely.

"Sure, miss."  He smiled and let her walk him off.  "What's wrong?  Need parts for your bike?"

"No, my bike's old but my mother got it for me.  Mr. Singer, I have a heads up from the Slayer House in Cleveland.  Apparently there's a major new plot to take out all you hunters."  He stared, looking a bit less friendly.  She smiled.  "I'm one of the slayers, Mr. Singer.  Our oldest one found out that some demons went to a military project to find something specific to stop demon hunters.  They were stopped but that doesn't mean the rest of the plot isn't on-going.  She wasn't sure of total facts but she said that we have two out here.  I'm going to find them tonight if you wanted to help me question them.  After all, we were told that we were lucky to have guys like you who did the same job."

He nodded once.  "How are there more than one Slayer right now?"

"Willow had to activate all of us to stop the First Evil a few years back."

"I see.  When are you going?"

She beamed.  "Do you want to drive?  I drive a junky old compact car."

He smirked.  It was nice of her to ask but handy to have him driving.  Gave him more control over things.  "That'd be fine.  When?"

"Whenever you're ready.  I have to grab a few weapons because I stupidly didn't have Dawn shrink them for me."  She smiled.  "I'll be back in a few hours with the full report she sent?"

"Please."  She nodded and walked back to her bike, riding off.  He went back to his job, considering it.  There was always a demonic plan to take hunters out.  This one might just get worse since they had been military.  He had no idea what sort of things they could've gotten into.

***

Xander got back to the US a few months later, shaking his head when he ran into an agent at the airport.  "It's meeting time not an emergency."

"Sir, we have a problem that needs a bit of help beyond that and the Council said that the hunters could handle it," the agent told him, handing him a folder.  "They could use a lot of help but Buffy was sure they could handle it."

"She often is.  Then she decides they're *normal*."  He read it over, nodding.  "Whisk me away, guys."  He led him to the other plane so he could go.  He sent a text to Dawn's phone to tell her he ran into something and was handling it for a few hours.  He'd be late for the meeting tomorrow.  The flight wasn't that long.  Thankfully Cleveland was nearer to the Midwest than DC or LA.  He found the pile of demons around a graveyard.

"No," he moaned.  He knew what had happened.  He had sent that vision.  He called.  "Dawn, send me my girls and any of my girls there to me now.  Huge ass sitch that I sent that vision about."  He hung up and the girls appeared with Dawn.  He nodded.  "Find the one that made the deal.  Fix it."  She nodded, jogging off with one of the slayers she worked well with.  The agents got her to where they were.  "Ladies, I think you see the issues."

They nodded and dove in, him backing them up.  Yeah, this was not a happy apocalypse.  He found the headstone he had seen in his vision, kicking it.  "The one time I need explosives," he complained.  He looked in his bag, coming up with something.  Fire demon snot.  He threw it on the headstone and lit it on fire.  It burned hot enough to melt stone.  He made sure it melted and then turned, finding a higher demon there.  "Not playing fair," he sneered.

"Who are you?  You're not one of mine," he said.  He looked the boy over.  "You seem like a hunter though."

Xander smirked.  "I'm the White Knight of Sunnydale."  He saw the horrified look on the agent's face.  "Heard that rumor?"

"Yes, sir."  He had a lot of respect for this one.

Xander attacked the demon.  It tried to jump into him instead but he had shields thanks to the shaman he had worked with.  "Girls," he called.  They rushed in and one got the demon down.  He panted, pushing it out.  "What are you, Voldemort?" he sneered.  He killed him since the girls couldn't kill humans.  The demon released the body.  Xander stared at it.  "Not done playing with you yet."  Dawn walked up and cast to capture it.  "Thanks, Dawn."

"Welcome, Xander."   She checked.  "Not possessed.  I'm so proud," she teased.

He smirked.  "The Shaman helped."  He looked at the other girls.  "They down?"  They nodded.  "All of them?"

"A few fled, Xander."

"We'll get 'em later," he decided.  He looked at the hunters, staring at the older one.  "Julia Goodwin said she had met you.  I sent her that vision as well."  The old guy blanched, nodding.  "Welcome."  He pointed at the mess he had made.  "It's down.  No angelic apocalypse now."  He looked at Dean.  "Did she fix the deal?"

"Yeah.  Bobby had to stop me from killing her for it, but she did."

"I tried to explain," she said.  "It had to be done as soon as possible."  She shrugged.  "I nearly knocked you out first instead."

"That would've made me fight," the other said.

She pinched him on the arm.  "Now you're both free."  She pointed at the captured demon.  "He's there."  Dean pulled out a gun and shot it.  The demon died.  "Sweet."

Xander looked and nodded.  "I could use one of those in Africa."  One of the slayers hugged him, making him hiss.  "Ow.  Owowow."  She glared at him.  "Possessed hyenas."  He smirked.  Dawn groaned.  "They're free.  I had to get them unpossessed.  They tried to take out the girls."  He shrugged and winced a bit.  He looked at the hunters again.  He snapped his fingers.  "Dawn, card?"  She pulled her ID case out of her bra and handed one over.   "If you can't find Julia, call us.  This is Dawn.  She's one of our senior witches."

"Cleveland?" Dean demanded.  "You guys are in Cleveland?"

"That's where the newest hellmouth is."  Dawn grinned.  "Not our fault.  The original Council had been Brits and we were in Sunnydale."  Sam shuddered.  "Yeah, exactly.  Now we're all around."  She smiled at Xander.  "You're so getting nagged later."

"You tell your sister and I'm going to spank her too the first time she tries to tell me it's a slayer's job."

"Good point.  Can you?"

"Definitely."  He looked at the hunters again.  "If you need us for something huge, call.  We do handle apocalypses very well."  He looked at the agent.  "Okay, let's....."  Dawn brought them home.  "Hey, cool.  Bag?"

"I'll get the agent to send it," she promised, going to call that one's agency to get a message to him.  They knew the usual agents who hung around to 'help them'.  "Reports, ladies."  They sighed but went to do that.  She did her own once she was off the phone.

Back in North Dakota, the three hunters were looking at each other.  "A whole army of bouncy, female warriors," Dean said.  "I always thought they'd be wearing fantasy chainmail armor."

The agent snorted.  "Don't tempt them.  A few of them do some club hunting looking like working girls."  He saw the bag and picked it up.  "I'll get this back to Harris."  He wrote two numbers on the back of the card.  "That's Harris' cellphone.  Sometimes he's in the US, sometimes in Africa, but the girls actually listen to him most of the time.  The other is the agent who is the official liaison with the Council if it's something we should know as the government, gentlemen."  He looked at Dean.  "He's already fixed that St. Louis thing.  We went to look and found the extra skin.  Your records... that was damn stupid, boys, but effective."  He left.

Bobby shook his head.  "That's just strange."

"Very," Dean agreed.  He put it into his wallet for now.  "Okay...."  He looked at the mess then at Bobby.  "Now what?"

"Now, we have a beer.  We deserve a beer.  Sammy, you good?"

"Yeah, she killed him, fixed the injury, restarted him, and the crossroads demon showed up but got her ass kicked too.  She so went off," Dean assured him, happier now.  Sammy was safe, he wasn't going to go to hell.  Things were good.  "For some reason the demon was scared of her."

"It takes a lot of power to do that disappearing thing for one person," Bobby said.  "I don't know many witches who'd even think about it outside of an emergency.   If she could take all of them, she's pretty powerful."

"She was kinda cute too," Sam admitted with a grin.

"She was," Dean agreed.  "Too young for me though."  He shrugged.  "If you want to tap that, hit on the girl.  She clearly knows what we do."  They got into their cars and headed for a bar.  This had been too strange.  They were happy it was solved but still strange.  They weren't used to the US riding to the rescue.

***

Xander turned around in his shower to rinse off his back, staring at the woman in the doorway.  "Yes?"

"Demons?"

"Hyenas.  Possessed and sent after the girls.  I could get them calmed down so we could banish them."  He shrugged.  "A few got friendly.  One tried to fight."  He went back to scrubbing.  If Faith wanted to stare at him, so be it.  "How has your tour been?"

"Better than yours.  You good with that one dying?"

"No," he said, staring at her.  "But I did all I could to save her.  I offered to take her place and they poisoned us instead."  She nodded.  "We mourned, did a wonderful service for her."

"Good.  She call another one?  G wanted to know."

"No."

"That's two now that haven't called a new one."  Xander smiled.  "But five have."

"So we need less now.  It's evening out."  She nodded, handing him a towel with a smirk.  "Thanks, Faith.  How was yours?"

"The only good thing I found about mine is part of my route has a few German bars."  She walked off.

Xander got out and dried off, putting on clean clothes and heading down to the kitchen.  He handed Giles his reports since they had been in his pocket on a keydrive.  Giles handed them to his assistant to print for him.  "The reports from earlier done?" he asked.

"Yes, they were.  Thank you for that warning as well."  He stared at him.  "That vision came here?"

"I faxed a copy here and one to Julia Goodwin.  She knew the hunters involved, that was part of what I saw."  He got some juice and sat down to drink it.

"Did she not get it to them?"

"I think she was trying when she got hit by that possessed driver," Xander said.  "She probably couldn't find them when she got out of the hospital.  The demon earlier was a higher demon, upper echelon.  The possessing sort."  Giles shuddered.  "By the way, destroyed the keystone to their hellgate."  He took another drink while Giles stared at him.

"Thank you.  That's helpful.  Are there others?"

Xander shrugged.  "Not anymore in Africa, Switzerland, or the Middle East."

"Good to know."  He went to research that topic.  If he had to, he'd talk to those hunters and see if they could take the rest down.

Xander looked at Buffy when she walked in.  "Hey."

"Hey.  Thank you but you're still not supposed to be in a battle."

"Bite me," he said dryly, staring at her.  "I've been in plenty of battles in Africa and gee, I'm damn good at it still, Buffy."  She scowled.  He glared.  She backed down from that 'you're normal' point again.  "Other than that, did Dawn tell you they were cute?  Maybe you can introduce yourself so you can have a boyfriend who knows what you do."

"I might," she agreed with a smile.  "Hyenas?"

"Possessed.  I calmed them down and banished them.  They were sent after my girls."

"Oh."  She nodded.  "Did they try to pin you and hurt you?"

"No.  One tried to fight for dominance but a fist is more powerful than claws sometimes."  She grimaced, shaking her head.  "So, yearly meeting?"

"Tomorrow.  Willow's flying in tonight."

"That's cool.  How is she liking there?"

"She's liking it a lot and two girls went to help her.  They're liking it a lot."

"Wonderful."  He smiled.  "I'm taking nominations for my open spot."

"I think we're doing a finding this weekend."

"Decent."  He finished his juice and put his glass in the dish washer then followed her to the living room.  "Everyone on dates?"

"Most everyone's farmed out to other houses," she said with a smile.  "We only have sixteen girls here in residence."

"Cool."  He sat down and stretched out.  "Too long on a plane."

"I bet.  Must take nearly all day to fly from Africa."  He nodded.  "We were thinking that some of the houses need to be rearranged."  He stared at her.  "Giles wants to go rebuild the London house.  I was thinking maybe I'd like to take Faith's route for a bit, get some traveling done."

He considered it, nodding.  "That's not a bad idea.  Dawn staying or going?"

"Staying.  It's safer to have her here than any of the other houses."

"Cool.  Though I'm told we'll have to reestablish the one in DC after she stopped something but it got her blown up?"

She nodded.  "Yeah, that was three months ago," she sighed.  "I don't know who to send to DC."

"Faith."  She gaped.  "She's not going to have to deal with the higher ups.  She knows how to deal with agents.  If not, Kamria."

"I can see Kamria.  I'll ask Faith."  She went to do that.  She came back.  "Would you take over Cleveland?"  He nodded.  "Thanks."

"My girls get Jameson, out of the Brazil house.  They respect him and he knows I'll fuck him up if he hurts them."

"Sure."  She went to post those changes and then talk to Faith.  Giles signed off on them by the time she got back.  "Kamria to go to DC.  Faith wants here.  She said we need a senior here on call for apocalypses."

"I can agree with that," Giles said, making those notes.  "Jameson will be in for the meeting?"

"I'll make sure."  She called the house in Brazil, chatting with the girls down there.  She hung up.  "We need a slayer reunion and picnic thing."

"We can call one this weekend," Xander said.  "With the huge bad we just stopped it'll be quiet."

"Cool."  She put out that slayer wide call so they could all fall back and enjoy some time off.  She got hold of those hunters through Julia too.  She wanted to meet them and Giles wanted to talk about the other hellgates they had to close before they became a problem.

***

Xander smiled as the Impala pulled up, nudging Buffy.  "That's them."  She bounced over.  He smiled at his girls.  "Jameson is going to take over for me because Buffy wants to leave the hellmouth," he told them.  They pouted.  "You know him, we trained him together."  They nodded.  "I'm going to be here.  If he wants you girls to switch off, you can come hang with me and Faith."  He moved some hair off one's cheek.  "It'll be cool.  He can make ice cream too."  They grinned and pulled him over to talk to him.  He noticed Giles walked over to talk to the young hunters too.  "Those two," he said with a point.  "Are hunters.  Like I am but they're not Council aligned."

"Like that guy in South Africa?" Tam asked.

"Yup."  They went to talk to them.  Buffy was flirting but they wanted to talk business with them.  She could impress them that way.  They drew the boys over to talk to them.  All the girls talked to them.  It wasn't often they had cute guys who knew about hunting near them.  Buffy still got in plenty of flirting time.  So did Dawn with the taller one.  After the picnic in the park was done with, Xander walked over to the younger one.  "It's not often they get guys who understand."

"They're nice girls.  Very sweet."  He grinned.  "Dean's never had that many hit on him before."

"It's cool.   Most of them are big girls.  I'd only protest if they're mistreated and I doubt you two would."  He clapped him on the arm.  "Coming back to the house?   I'm told I'm taking it over for a bit."

"Sure," he said, looking at Dean, who nodded.   The girls seemed pretty nice and Giles had a library full of books that they wanted to check out.

***

Xander got called to DC by the president's secretary, so he dressed up before getting on the plane.  He was met at the airport by Kamria.  "What happened?"  He hadn't seen her in months, since the picnic.

"A higher up vamped.  I called in a warning and was told not to handle it."

He grimaced.  "That's the sucky part of being in DC, the higher ups."  He let her take him to his rental car, she hardly ever drove, and he took them to the White House.  They were let in and he nodded at the VP since he was waiting.  "The higher up that got vamped?"

"There was?"  Kamria nodded.  "Well, crap.  No wonder Jack had a hair pulling night.  No, I'm here over something else.  Some sort of plot to get you guys in trouble."

"Oh, charming," Xander said with a smirk.  "Remind me to talk to a bar later," he told his slayer, who nodded quickly.  Jack walked in with his guards.  "Hey, guys.  Peter."  He got a smile from one of the guards.  "So, this higher up?" he asked Jack.

"Today is not a good day," Jack told him.  "The House is looking at a covert bill to destroy the Council."

"We can move back to England but a few of us will still have to be in Cleveland, and I'm going to talk to a few former poker buddies later."  He smirked.  Jack shuddered.  "So, why beyond the demon whores?"

"Possibly but a few are ultra christians," John warned.

Xander looked at him.  "You have two demons serving as pages in Congress."  John groaned.  "One's time is up in about a week I think."

"I noticed him," Peter said.  "The other's usually a flesh eater?"  Kamria nodded.  "Well, maybe we can arrange something then."

Xander smirked.  "I heard the sermon."  He shuddered because that televangelist was breathing fire over the fact that demons were real and 'infecting' their country.  "They're in for a world of hurt since their church is sitting on top of a native burial ground.  We can't stop people if they want to retaliate.  I might try but I have bigger demons to kill than a witch who'd activate that."  He looked at the two heads of the government again, seeing the horrified look.  "By the way, Cheyenne's pretty secure against that, especially with Willow there."

"Thank you."

"Any idea if they're being influenced by those things that the underground is deathly worried about?  The ones you used to deal with?"

"Snake ones or religious ones?" John asked.

"Either, though I know the head guy is snaked.  I got told that."

Jack nodded, making that note.  "I'll have him subtly checked.  Thanks, Harris.  Her doing that?"

"Last night.  It's been on the news today.  That's why I didn't complain too much about coming here today and Faith turned off the ringers on all the phones but Andrew's."

John laughed.  "I figure you guys have had plenty of religious leaders who hated your people."  Xander nodded.  "This higher up?"  Jack held up a note.  He read it and grimaced.  "Just vamped?"  Kamria nodded.  "Can we keep them human?"

"A soul restoration spell but only Willow can do them," Xander offered.  "It'd reimplant the soul, which wouldn't mean they couldn't kill but they might think more about it."

"Let her resign," John decided.  "She's causing problems beyond this."  Jack nodded at that.  "Kamria, we'll sneak you there."

"Yes, sir," she chirped, smiling at him.

"You're still much too young to flirt with me, young lady."

She smirked.  "Of course I am but I can drool, right?"

"If you must," he decided.  She giggled and pinched him on the arm.  Clearly one of the guards was new because he stiffened and reached for her.  "She's fine," John told him.

Jack looked at the guard.  "Are you snaked?"

Xander looked.  "Possessed."  He threw his vial of holy water on the guy, making him yelp.  "We can banish his later, sir."

"Thanks, Harris."  He smirked.  "Keep us informed if you guys start having problems with this attempted act of Congress."

Xander snickered.  "That's going to suck since almost all apocalypses happen in the spring.  By the way, I'm hearing rumors that there's going to be a peaceful demon protest for immigration reform to allow them asylum and permits."

"Are they going to be open?" John asked.  Xander nodded.  "Won't that break the usual silence?"

"It's going to be after this spring."  Both slumped, shaking their heads.  Xander snickered.  "You guys have that in sync even, cool."  He looked at Kamria.  "I believe I sent that to you?"

"I passed it onto the guys in Homeworld."  Jack called over there to chew someone a new one.  She turned to look at the possessed guy, finding two more guards in the doorway.  "He's possessed."

"We have the White House chapel if you need it, ma'am."

She nodded.  "Cool."  She dragged him off no matter how much he tried to get free.  Demons weren't any match for an alpha slayer.  Xander followed, he knew how to banish better than she did.  Really, the demon fled from Xander when he pulled out the holy water bottle they had in a cabinet.  "Still scary, Xander."

Xander grinned. "Yes I am."  He left, going to the local demon bars.  She could wait in the car.   The whole bar stared.  He smirked.  "If whoever is trying to hype this year's apocalypse, make them stop before we have to go around them.  Remember, pouty slayers shop, guys, and hunt more."  They all nodded quickly.  "Which ones are calling in their markers if they don't get us out of the US?"

"Two of the highest because you blocked their apocalypse," one demon said.  "Not even on the demonic side."

"Huh."  He nodded, walking off to find the church they knew was actually holy in the city.  It was a small shrine that *everyone* in the underground knew about.  He walked in and looked around, then looked at the supposed priest.  "Oh, great Fallen one," he said bluntly, walking up to him.  The priest stiffened.  "Xander Harris.  I'm in charge of the Council house on the hellmouth."  The man shuddered.  "You might tell them that if your side starts the apocalypse, the girls will still fight.  It's their job."

"They won't win against our side, my son."

Xander looked at him.  "Any side that claims supremacy is already evil, Father.  Wanting to take out humanity is evil, no matter where you stand philosophically."

"A slayer....."

"Father, we have more than one slayer."  He gaped, shaking his head.  Xander nodded.  "We have for years now, since I did CPR.  Or didn't you see the invasion in LA?"  He went pale, shaking his head again.  "Yeah.  We have more than one slayer, Father.  If they start it, the girls will end it.  Permanently.  Both sides if possible but it will be ended.  No matter which side starts it.  Don't believe me, go talk to Buffy."

He swallowed.  "That is not the way it should be."

Xander smirked.  "The Powers hate some of us for doing things that meant they won by screwing their plans so they worked.  Buffy and me included."

"Oh, dear.  She's still alive?"

"Yeah, she's in Germany this week."  He bowed his head and nodded.  "I know you have a few friends you can point this out to.  You might also warn them that with the stuff that comes out of a certain program in Colorado, we're going to need them to help us fight.  Unless they want that pantheon of philosophy to win?"  He shook his head.  Xander grinned.  "That's why I came to you instead of going somewhere less...connected."

"How did you know?"  Xander let down his possession shields.  "Oh, you know an ascended?"

"Cordelia.  I used to date her."  He shuddered.  Xander smirked.  "Exactly, Father.  I'm a Hellmouth baby.  The last one born in Sunnydale.  I believe there's a prophecy."  He left him to shudder in private.

***

Dean got a visit that night by a man he didn't know.  "Who're you?"

"If the One Who Sees hadn't changed things, you would know me as the one who rescued you from Hell, Dean Winchester."

Dean nodded.  "I'll have to thank him.  Why come to me now?"

"There is a prophecy that many wish to come to pass.  That the last Hellmouth Child Born will take over both heaven and hell."

Sam looked up from his laptop.  "Xander would never do that.  He's more than content working with the slayers."  Dean gave him an odd look.  "Both of those are Xander.  The One Who Sees was the name the First Evil prophecy called him.  The other is his name for the heaven and hell fighting in a final apocalypse prophecy."  He went back to his searching.  "By the way, he sent an email saying that you guys might show up here.  That the prophecy said that I might break the seals."  He looked at him.  "I have no intention of it."

"The things that you can do will, Samuel."

Sam nodded.  "I'll talk to Dawn about taking that taint from me.  She's been working on it."  He grinned.  "The Sunnydale team learned to be proactive over prophecies."  Someone slid into the seat next to him.  He looked at her.  "Hi."

"Hi," Dean said with a grin.

"Hi."  She smirked at the angel.  "Say my name," she said.

"You are...."  He looked.  "Dawn Isabelle Summers."

"Who else am I?"

He stared.  Then he scanned her.  He gasped and backed away.  "You are not supposed to be in that form!" he said in awe.

"Yeah, exactly.  But Glory happened.  So I am."  She stared at him.  "Should it start, I'll be there.  In a way that will make your boss shudder.  For both sides."

"I understand."  He nodded at her.  "You have much wisdom."

"And I was trained by Xander to be proactive and by my sister to be a bitch."  She grinned sweetly at him.  "Any other questions?  Because he also said he pointed something out.  There's more than one slayer now."  The angel shook his head.  She nodded.  "Yeah, there are.  Xander knew CPR."  He went to tell the others that.  She looked at Sam.  "It's nasty, it'll hurt like a bitch, but I can get that demon taint out of you."

"Please," he agreed quietly, closing his laptop.  "How did you know?"

"Some of us can feel when the really powerful beings show up.  That's how I know whenever Willow leaves this plane."  She took Dean's beer to sip.  "Buffy wanted to know if you wanted a vacation to Germany.  She's trying really hard not to kill the skinheads she ran into."

"I can't do much more than that."

"She needs backed up and if she asks Xander, they're going to be greasy spots.  Africa was bad for his temper sometimes."

He nodded.  "I can see that point with their sort.  How big?"

"About twenty.  Hiding out on top of a hellgate so she's sure it's going to be an issue."

"Yeah, I can see about getting her some help."

"Killer."  She took his keys from him and sent him to her.  She handed Sam the keys.  "Here, so you can drive for a few days since I know he doesn't let you."

He snickered.  "He's going to complain to her."

"She said they took a kid hostage earlier and she can't do it without killing humans, which is a bad to a slayer."

"Then he can definitely help."  He put the keys in his pocket.  "You sure you can detox all of it?"

"I can at least get the greatest majority tonight.  The rest I may have to do it again.  We'll see once I'm done."  He nodded, paying for his tab and taking his laptop to follow her to the car.  If he had to be detoxed to stop an apocalypse, so be it.

***

The same angel appeared to Xander that night.  He looked up from filing reports.  "What?"

"The Key must have a guardian who knows the darkness she should not approach.  Otherwise she can destroy all."

"She knows that.  That's one reason why they made her the sister of a slayer."

"Even that darkness might lead her astray."

Xander shrugged.  "If you want her to have a guardian, talk to Dawn, not me.  Buffy and I both guarded her for years.  She's doing what she wants to do of her own free will."

The angel nodded at that.  "Still, the Father is worried."

Xander stared at him.  "Seeing as I know, thanks to a vision, about the whole apocalypse plan?  Yeah, I'm not worried since he's taking a vacation, Castiel."  The angel slumped.  "Is it the ones who want this apocalypse?"

"No, it is not.  A lot of the more moderate and modest, the lower ones who know what sort of temper she could have, are worried."

Xander nodded.  "Okay.  I'll talk to her about it.  I won't promise because she's not dating right now."

The angel nodded.  "Please.  I saw that she had touched the dark already."

"In her grief, she started to raise her mother but ended it herself."

The angel bowed his head.  "Is she among us?"

"I'd hope so with the way she was a good mother.  Her mother's name was Joyce."

"I'll search her out and ask her opinion on the matter.  Thank you for telling her of our concerns."  He disappeared.

Xander tapped out a text message to Dawn's phone.  Because that was a bit freaky.  Even for them.

***

Jack looked up as someone invaded his office.  "Sir, we need to throw a White House dinner for the new ambassadors."

"Make sure it's food I'll eat," he said, going back to the dreaded paperwork.

"Sir, this means an actual *dinner*.  Invitations and all that," the chief of staff said.

Jack gave him a dirty look.  "If I had a wife, I'd let you have her to talk to.  Otherwise, can it be a barbeque?"

"No."

"Crap."

"Nor can it have ribs or beer.  Steaks might work though."

Jack shuddered.  "I guess I'll have to dress up too?"

"Yes, sir."  He loved to fluster his boss and the horrified look on his face was spectacular.  "You'll need a co-host or hostess as well."

"Not like I'm married.  Get Sheppard to do it.  He's like the wife in this 'ship."

"Yes, sir.  Will you be bringing a date?"

"Who would I bring?"

"That blonde young woman you talk to now and then perhaps?"

"Buffy?  She'd kill me."

"If that's what you two do in private, sir, then I have no need to know."  He smiled.  "I'll start the planning for you."  He fled, mentally giggling at the shudders of horror.  This would be their first White House event so he'd have to get someone to tutor them both in etiquette.  Fortunately John's secretary was good at that.

Jack leaned over to look at his secretary's desk.  "If you let slip that I called him my wife, he'll paddle you," he called.  He got back to his paperwork of doom.  Maybe it would block out the thought of bringing Buffy as a date.  She was cute but she might stake an ambassador.  He'd never hear the end of it.

***

Jon O'Neill looked around his training groups.  "Good morning.  We're leaving this pretty city of nothing-for-normal-guys-to-do today.  We're going on a mission to an Ori controlled world to help a senior team," he said with a smirk.  A few cheered.  "I know, I'm bored too, guys.  So, gear up, double your ammo count for this trip, remember you can shoot Priors and priests alike, and let's go.  You have an hour to gear up."  They ran off.

"Wish I could go," John pouted.

"You'll have plenty of opportunity to get into trouble," Jon pointed out.  "Let the Council people run wild for a bit.  I'm told they hold yearly apocalypses."

John nodded.  "So we've heard.  We got briefed on some of the earlier ones by Rosenburg.  Did you train your students for those?"

"I don't know if I can train them to use a sword in case of emergency but otherwise, yeah.  I've been over the classification manuals they gave Jack."  John nodded at that.  "Some of those things are freakier than anything we've run into."

"I'm wondering how they decided to make one teenage girl deal with it by herself," John admitted with a grimace.  "At least now she's got backup.  Even if I'd want more than a few more superior girls with me."

"Me too," Jon agreed.  "Gotta gear up.  Make sure they get extra bullets.  You always need them with the Ori."  John nodded, going to talk to the arms master while Jon got his own gear.  It was good to get back into action again.  Now if only John could quit being bored by politicians and go back to the real work he loved to do.

***

Dean got back to the US via Rosenburg Express, which was making him queasy.  She said she had sent him to where Sam was.  So why was he in Vegas?  They had been in Iowa.  It had been three weeks, but that was a big step out of their usual habits.  He noticed a slightly familiar figure walking his way.  "Hey," he said to the angel.  "Another bad thing came up?" he guessed.

"We have found that when the Key was made human, it was tied to the line of a hunter who could protect it and keep it from being led to the dark," he said, looking serious.  "After having talked to the Key's parent, we have decided it is safer if they are together now."

"So, my brother's now got a new friend," he said bluntly.  The angel nodded.  "Where is he?"

"He is in the Palace," he said with a point.  "We have arranged things for them.  That way they are able to brace each other and the seals will not break."  He smiled slightly.  "They were quite displeased but we released her mother to talk to her for a few minutes.  She understands and they both accepted it."

"It sounds like you married off my brother, dude.  I should beat your ass for that."

"You may go talk to him but what was done by heavenly decree cannot be undone this time.  Her mother is fierce, much more stubborn than her daughters."

"At least it's a girl," Dean said dryly.  "Though I have no idea what you'd do if Sammy had to go gay."

"He would have adapted.  Their lines were joined when the Key was made human."  He disappeared.

Dean hiked to the 'palace', which was a slightly sleazy motel.  Definitely their usual caliber of place to stay.  "Winchester?" he asked the desk clerk.

"They asked not to be disturbed, sir."

"I'm Sammy's big brother.  I think he's expecting me to yell."

She nodded and found their room number, handing over a key.   "He said you would be joining them and would need an adjoining room."

"Thanks."  He went up there.  He decided to knock.  Sam opened the door.  "The angels married you off?" he asked dryly, not walking in there.

"Yeah, and it's a huge ass shock."  He nodded, letting him inside.  Dawn waved from her spot on the bed.

"What the fuck?" Dean demanded.

Dawn looked up, smiling some.  "Originally, before Glory got woken up, I was a glowing green ball of energy.  They made me the sister of a slayer to protect me from a hell goddess."

"That's so Winchester luck," Dean decided, shaking his head.  "So you two are hitched?"  She nodded.  "We sure?"

"Yeah, we were apparently muchly drunk," she said dryly.  "We woke up the next morning naked, him already in me, and with a tape of the wedding on loop on the VCR."  She shrugged.  "We *so* yelled."

"Yes we did," Sam agreed.  "The manager himself came up to tell us to quit yelling about being married and to go get it annulled."

Dean nodded.  "Can we?"

"We thought about it for a few hours, and somehow ended up having fantastic sex again," Dawn admitted.  She put her laptop aside.  "Heaven is apparently a bit panicky."

"Apparently," Dean agreed.  He sighed.  "So, the hunting stuff?"

"Honestly, Dean, we need you guys in Cleveland.  We're building up to another super apocalypse this spring.  Like the one in LA only with higher demons instead of a mass of them.  We're going all hands, even the girls who wanted to be normal and only took enough training to defend their families are going to be there."  He nodded at that.  "So, how was my sister?"

"We worked well together," he admitted.  "She wants something longer term and I'm not ready yet but she understood that.  So we played."  He shrugged.  "It was good for both of us."

She smiled.  "I don't care if Buffy has a one-night thing or a real thing, Dean.  As long as you're not like the panty point shithead she dated in college."  He shook his head.  "Then it's fine with us.  We'd only beat you to death if you played with her."

"Xander too?" he asked dryly.  "He seemed overprotective."

"Sometimes.  Not over her though.  She burned that bridge."  Dean nodded at that.  "Willow too."  She shrugged.  "He's already called to tell Sam that he expects me to be treated good.  Or else he'd blow him up and let the girls keep you this time."  Dean snickered.  "He also said I had better be taking the pill religiously, and I assured him I am."

"Thank God.  The Impala's going to be strange enough with a woman in it.  There hasn't been one of those since our mother."

She grinned.  "I can meet you guys in Cleveland if you want."

"Nah, you two probably need bonding time or other newlywed shit that translates to sex."

Dawn smirked at Sam.  "Didn't you say you were sore?"

"Yup.  Those lessons you took off Xander's former girlfriend Anya wrecked my back."  Dean's mouth flopped open.  "She was a former vengeance demon that Xander dated.  Nearly married her."

"She was all about the sex," Dawn agreed with a smile.  Dean shuddered.  "She only wanted seven or eight orgasms a day."

"Unfortunately she told Dawn how to kill my back," Sam quipped.  He sat on the bed.  "So, you've got the room next door.  The Impala is in a parking garage next door.  We told Bobby, who choked.  A lot.  We sent him pictures of us.  He's still probably choking.  I met her mother.  She seemed nice, but one of those backbones of steel women."  Dean nodded at that.  "You got told?"

"The angel dude said that he brought her down to talk to you."  He shook his head.

"Oh, freakiness," Dawn warned.  "If I do get pregnant it's your dad being sent back.  Mommy said that he's nagging and pushy so some of the angels want him reborn sooner so he can't force his way back down here.  I suggested they ascend him like they did Cordelia.  He can help the Powers deal with the slayers and hunters."

"He said that they unfortunately can't do that without a higher order," Sam finished.

"Damn."  Dean considered it.  "Give yourself a few years, Dawn?"

"So not a problem," she assured him, waving a hand in the air.  "Not my thing to be a mother yet.  I'm much too wild."  Sam blushed.  "What?  You said you liked clubbing with me."

"I did until the two succuba tried to take you from me."

"They're some of Xander's former poker buddies," she said dryly.  Dean moaned, going to his room to bang his head against a wall.  She took a kiss.  "Is your back better yet?"

"No, it's not," he said with a smile.  "Go back to chatting with your sister."  She pulled her laptop back over and he went to talk to his brother.  Being married was freaky in a lot of ways.  It was definitely different than he had with Jess.

***

Dawn walked the boys into the house.  "We're back!" she shouted.

"Good, we have 2 days," Faith called.   She came out of the office.  "Giles was pushed down in the tube, whatever that is, and broke his leg.  He can't get here because he's in traction.  Brazil's house got attacked last night but they're handling it and will have to be gotten magically if they're showing up.  X's girls in Africa can't get passports and visas."

Dawn waved a hand.  "Can be dealt with.  Otherwise?"

"B can't get back.  Germany has people who wanted to talk too much about stuff."

"Again, dealt with.  She's in the car."  Faith grinned at her.  "Other issues?"

"City Council is having a panicy girl fit.  Homeland here is having a panic attack too.  They're both in denial it'll be bad.  X can't get through to either of the higher ups we know."

Dawn nodded.  "Let me handle that first."  She went to DC.  The Homeland people she knew were there.  They never left their offices.  "General Hammond," she said with a smile.

"Miss Summers.  An update on what's going to happen in Cleveland soon?"

"Some of your people are ignoring it in finest Sunnydale fashion.  We might need some evacuating or keeping normals inside duties and they're ignoring it."

"I can fix that."

"Some of our people are being magiced in since some of yours wouldn't let them enter legally."

"Agreed."

"It's in two days."

"I'll deal with the locals for you today."  She smiled.  "Let me know if you need more help."

"I will.  X tried to call the higher ups.  Can't get through."

"That'll stop," he assured her.  She beamed a happy smile and left.  He called the head of Homeland Security to his office.  He was technically the guy's boss.  "Cleveland is having an apocalypse in two days."

"We don't believe in such things."

"Then you're fired," George said simply.  The man gaped.  He stared at him.  "You're risking an entire city.  I'm going to let them sue you."  He stood up.  "Let me talk to the others who need to know.  I'll expect your forms on my desk by the end of the day.  Gladys," he called to his secretary.  She nodded.  "He's fired."  He walked out, heading to the Secret Service office.  If there was a mass conspiracy, they probably weren't as involved.  He showed his ID.  "Is the director in?"

"Yes, Sir."  She called and got him up there.

He walked into the office with a smile.  "Cleveland's having an apocalypse in two days.  Apparently there's a move by our government to not care."

"Shit," he muttered.  "Okay, I'll get with that."

"For some reason, the president's and vice president's phones haven't been working.  I've heard that from a few sources now."

He stared at him.  "That'll stop too."

"Thank you."  He smiled.  "Call your office there?"

"Definitely and I'll get someone who can lead a problem if need be."  He made a call to route an agent he knew could handle it that way.  The general left, leaving him to shudder in peace and quiet.  This was so bad and much too close to DC.

The New World of Awareness.

John watched the tv coverage of Cleveland, calling the base.  "Landry, John Sheppard, they need help in Cleveland.  What do you mean it's letting things through the stargate?  No, that's more important.  Need the city's teams?"  He smiled.  "Thanks."  He hung up and called the city.  "Evan, John.  Go to Cleveland and help now.  Yeah, that thing on the tv is an apocalypse.  No, the city itself won't be needed but they could use the marines.  Thanks."  He hung up and called Jack.  "Because of Cleveland, the stargate is pulsing and pushing out demons."  He hung up.  He called the ship once he had his own weapons.  "Ellis, this is Sheppard, send me to Cleveland asap."  He got sent.

Jack hung up and grabbed his own weapons.  "Boys, we're going to Cleveland," he shouted.  They rushed in wearing riot gear.  One handed him a new vest and he nodded, putting it on.  He put in his earpiece.  "Ellis, this is O'Neill, send me now.  Cleveland.  I heard, Rosenburg's being sent back."  He hung up.  They got beamed.  They knew to take his guards with him.  "Shit," he said in awe.  He saw Dawn.  "Summers!"  She turned to look at him.  "This is going through my project too."

"Got it!"  She found Willow and told her, making her go save her new people.  It meant Dawn had to step up her powers.  Sam was nearby guarding the witches.  The rest were jumping in against the demon guards and the higher ups.  More soldiers got beamed in and joined in with a few quick orders from Evan Lorne and Jon O'Neill.  She took Sam's hand and cast a very impractical spell.  But it worked.  She was drained and panting, sweaty and in pain.  Sam got her steadied and out of the way of harm.  The other witches could handle more defensive spells.  Dawn rested for a few minutes then came back to help with that.  She was glowing and she realized that.  It made her a huge target.  Sam was still guarding her so they'd handle it together.  As was apparently meant to happen.

Xander looked up from killing a demon guard to find the Vice President next to him.  "Aim for the heads," he called over the noise of the battle.  "It's the only thin spot on their armor and they absorb any energy weapons."  He nodded, passing that back.  They moved together, Xander helping guard him since he didn't have guards.  A few things needed to be cut so Xander got them with his axe while they shot the rest.  Thankfully he had demanded that the girls be taught guns and how to shoot.  Buffy and Giles had hated it, oh well.  They finally made it to the queens, finding O'Neill there with them and a few others.  They rushed and killed them.  Xander set a bomb in the hellmouth to close it and they ran off.  It exploded, shooting goo, ichor, and blood everywhere.  The slayers let up a cheer and finished the cleanup.  Xander panted, leaning down.  "Stitch in my side," he said when someone put a hand on his shoulder.  He straightened up, looking at the vice president.  "Sir."

"Xander."  He looked around.  "Hell of a mess.  Thank you for the warning."

"I tried."

"I heard and they're in deep shit," he said bluntly.  He patted him on the shoulder with a small smile.  "Let me check on my people."  He looked at Jack, getting a nod back.  They went to check on the soldiers.  Xander was checking on the slayers.  Agents came screaming up.  "Oh, don't tell me they're going to try," he said dryly.

Jack nodded.  "Apparently."  He walked that way, scaring a few.  "Stop it now!" he snapped.  They flinched and looked at him.  "Help the clean up, people.  Since you're too damn scared to show up to defend your own country."  He walked off.  One of them tried to pounce him.  Bad idea.  Jack had been special forces for years.  That agent was sorry.

Buffy picked him up, looking at him.  "Idiot, that's the president."  She dropped him back down.  "Sir, are you all right?  We have medical teams waiting."

"A few cuts, nothing too bad.  I'll go in the last batch."  She nodded, getting the most injured back now.  The agents trying to stop them got cuffed by the girls and put into their cars.  Jack and John both went in the last batch.  Xander had to nag them to go and be pulled himself.  They got back to the house and found a few more agents waiting but these were actually helping.  Jack made a few calls on the way to fix this problem in the making.  So maybe he'd make a presidential order.

***

Jack looked at the press people, his t-shirt showing the bandages he was wearing and the cane he was leaning on was obvious.  He had a large cut on his leg so had the cane for a week or so.  He missed healing wands so much.  "Thank you to all who helped during the apocalypse battle in Cleveland yesterday," he said.  The press people stared at him.  "Yes, we had hints it was going to happen.  The Watchers Council does a good job of warning us when these things happen.  That's their jobs."

He looked around the room.  "Those agents who tried to stop us from doing what had to be done, they're not wanted in this government.  Frankly I don't want them in this country."  He let that sink in for a second.  "Also, as an FYI, not all demons are bad.  There are some that are.  There are some that have been sneaking here for years for better jobs and asylum.  Some to this country, some to others.  Some of those sort were helping us fight the ones causing problems yesterday.

"We have been briefed on the Council, the types of demons that have moved here, all that.  We know how to classify the harmless ones who only want a good life.  We know how to call a slayer for the ones that aren't."  A few raised their hands.  "As of yesterday, it showed that we can't keep that secret any longer.  Because doing so only causes more problems.  The head of the Council agreed with me.  Therefore, we'll be giving you some information about them and the harmless ones here."

He smirked.  "There's even a harmless group that eat flesh.  They get medical waste from plastic surgeries and things."  A few of the reporters shuddered.  "I welcome anyone who wants to live and work here peacefully.  Those demons that came illegally, we'll be working on a way to see who wants citizenship.  Some of them have been here for generations and not caused any problems."  He looked around again.  "The last thing I'm doing today is to announce that I am putting in recommendations for Congressional Medals of Honor for a few of the people at the battles yesterday."

One reporter stood up.  "Sir, are you saying that demons are real?"

"What did you think those beings were yesterday?" he asked her.

"Possibly alien?"

"Well, they did come from another plane," John said as he walked in.  "We've had a few planes that have come here with less than peaceful intent.  The situation that got blacked out in LA a few years back was another of those."  She nodded, sitting down.  "The same as the suicide cult that got us our jobs, they were hunted down to the extinction of their race on this plane."

"They were demons?" one shouted.

"Yes," Jack agreed.  "The Council was taking them out when they decided to go with their plans.  Other countries knew about this before but not all wanted to think about it.  Some knew about the Council and some ignored it."

"It's not something I'm comfortable thinking about," John admitted.  "It's a bit stranger than I'm used to."  He smiled.  "But if they're here peacefully, willing to be good citizens, work like all the rest of us do, then I don't have a problem with them.  Some of them were apparently here before humans were."  The reporters started to shout questions again.  "Ask the Council, people, not us.  We had to be briefed on that ourselves."

"I asked a few of the former presidents.  They heard it too," Jack admitted.

"Mr. Harris was there," one shouted.

"Yes he was.  When John showed up next to him in the battle, he kept him safe and fought beside him. He's one I'm putting in the medal recommendation for."  They nodded at that.  "The same as the senior slayers and the girls who did exemplary duty during the battle, two of those being posthumous ones."

"You said battles," one reporter said, standing up.  "We didn't see another one."

"A classified project that's dealing with high energy research had another portal open among their research and some demons spill out there.  They handled it and a few of them are getting military honors," John said.

They all took that down.  "Any other questions?" Jack asked.

"Sir, how injured were each of you?" one reporter asked.

"Few minor cuts, a big one on my leg," Jack admitted.

John winced.  "A few really good cuts, one bad one on my stomach."

"Who were those military people who showed up?" he asked.

"My former project's people," John said with a smile.  "They did good work yesterday.  I've already thanked them and given them a hell of a treat since they're somewhat locked to base."

Jack looked at him.  "Beer and pizza?"

"Ice cream too," he agreed with a smile.  "New movies."  Jack grinned.  "A week's pass for those who fought too."  Jack snickered and nodded.  "The same went to the other project that nearly got overrun."  The reporter smiled at him.  "Anything else?  We have to make sure that the idiots who showed up to try to arrest us for handling it don't have a job."

"And those in Congress who tried before this event to get the Council out, we want to see why," Jack finished.   They walked off together.  "We're going to be hearing about it for years from the Churches," Jack muttered.

"Rome knew.  They had to know."

"Probably."

"Any that doubt, the demons probably have people like Al Sharpton, sir."

"That's a bad mental image, Sheppard."  John grinned back.   They walked into the oval office and the guards in there stood straighter.  "You guys feeling that bored?"

"Sir, we have to report that six of the guards on detail here no longer have jobs because they were involved in the plot to let this apocalypse happen."

"Why?" John asked.  He sat down.

"Because they're scared of what demons might mean to the US.  We've found one is actually a demon and she's been very honest all day with our bosses.  She's apparently slightly empathic.  Do you want to charge the agents who grabbed you with treason, sir?"

"No, they can have the same charges as the rest.  I was acting as a general yesterday," Jack told them.  He sat down behind his desk.  "Were they all Homeland?"

"Yes, sir."

"I pity that department's hiring rush then," John quipped.  "Anyone else on staff?  Since our phones supposedly were diverted."

"Two, sir.  You need a new assistant, General."  Jack grimaced but nodded.   "And another intern.  The Vice President's phone was diverted by the same people."

"Good to know," John agreed.  "I'd give you mine, sir, but she likes my sense of humor and describes things to me."

Jack nodded.  "I might name Carter.  She's been blowing a gasket again.  Or steal Walter."

"He is the super assistant sort," John agreed.

"Get him with my chief of staff to help him find me one," Jack decided.  "Walter knows what I need after having helped me while I was on base."  The guards nodded, one going to tell him that.  "Any other news?"

"Some, sir.  Director Hammond wanted a word."  Jack called him.  He looked at John.  "The Director of the CIA wanted to talk as well about the demons and their possible threats."

"Have him meet with me later and if we have to, I'll call Harris or Giles."  He nodded, going to make that note.  Jack muttered something as he hung up.  "Bad news?"

"He's retiring.  He's feeling old again."

"He kind of is, General."  Jack gave him a dirty look.  "He was in his sixties when you guys gave him ulcers from missions."

"He was?"  John nodded.  "Huh."  He sighed.  His Chief of Staff walked in.  "Find me a new one to replace Hammond.  He's tired and feeling old.  I hate it for him but if he wants to retire in peace I'm going to send him at the Council to help them."  His chief of staff smirked at that.  "Walter's number," he said, handing that over with his name.

"Yes, General."  He left them to talk about the problems yesterday.

John's guard leaned in.  "Doctor McKay is here and huffy, sir."

"Show him in," Jack agreed.  Rodney stomped in.  "Did you figure out why it was bleeding through?"

"Yes.  It was open when the portal started.  We're working on a safeguard and will finish it when Rosenburg wakes up.  She wore herself out yesterday."  He glared at John.  "Major Lorne said to beat you to death for getting injured because you might ask him to sub in."

"Evan's a good man with political background," Jack said dryly.  "I nearly named him but he was younger."

Rodney shook his head.  "Are we due another one soon?"

"No, that we know about," John admitted.

"Why was that one girl glowing green?"

"Ask Willow when she wakes up," Jack ordered.  "I asked and got told but it's very eyes only, McKay.  It's something that could get her and her new husband killed."

Rodney looked around then at him.  He set down and activated a bug jammer, staring at him.  "Well?"

"Apparently there's an inter-dimensional key that someone like Rosenburg made human to protect it," John said quietly.  "From something about as strong as invaded yesterday."  Rodney slumped.  "The glow was her drawing on that power."

Rodney nodded.  "What was it before?"

"A ball of energy."

"Do we have anything on that?"

"Ask Danny.  He's at the Council," Jack said.  "I saw him yesterday and he's limping pretty badly today so probably sitting in the library."

"I can do so.  Would they know anything about Atlantis?"

"That's one reason why he's there," Jack said.

"Even better."  He turned off the bug jammer but Jack turned it back on with a grin.  "Fine.  How much longer is this problem going to last?  We could use the good colonel today to calm some people down."

"He can go today, McKay.  He's not due back for a few days."  That got a smile and they left together.  Jack stretched and winced but felt better for it.  He got up and decided to take a walk in the gardens.  "I really miss flying."

"We're moving an X-302 closer," one of the guards told him.  "For city defense, sir.  You can test it if you need to."

He grinned at his guards.  "Thanks, guys."  They smiled back.  That was nicer.  John would like that too.

***

Xander was downtown avoiding the press on the doorstep when he saw someone appear in a flash of light.  "Huh," he said, moving closer.  A few people gave him nervous looks.  He saw another going for it.  "Are you lost?" he asked.

The man looked at him.  "I am the prophet of the Ori.  I am here to tell you of your doom if you do not follow us."

Xander shot him non-fatally.  "No thanks.  I hate Jehovah's who get too pushy too."  The agent gaped.  "This is part of General O'Neill's old project," he said quietly.  "He's not demonic.  Or human."  The agent stiffened and called that in.  Xander waited.  The guy wasn't dead, just really in bad shape.  He wasn't going to be using that knee anymore.  He picked up the staff to look at, frowning.  "Slightly magical markings."

"Magic doesn't exist, it's heretical," the man on the ground groaned.

Xander stared at him.  "Yet, two days ago we had an invasion of demons here from another plane."  He smirked.  "I can show you differently but that's not my area."  Two more agents came running.  This time he didn't know them so not local agents.  "Boys," he said in greeting.  He handed over the staff.  "He was carrying that.  He said he's a prophet of the Ori here to tell us about our doom if we don't convert."

"How did he get here, Mr. Harris?"

"Flash of light."

"Do you know anything about them?"

"Isn't that why you guys put Jackson in our library to haunt us?" he asked.

"Good point," he decided.  He called it in.  "Sir, an Ori prophet."

Xander smirked at the supposedly scary attempting invader.  "For your information, we have plenty of kooks selling religion and cures down here, dude.  You're not going to win.  I know beings that could ruin your whole universe for shits and giggles.  Two of them owe me poker debts.  And I'd send Andrew to help because he'd think it was cool."  He smirked evilly.  "You still sure you want to say we're going to have problems?"

"Sir, who would you send?" one of the new agents asked.

"Illyria."  He smirked.  "She's a former God-King.  Then maybe I'd send Gorm.  He's a nice guy.  Very sweet.  Bad kitten poker player though.  His kind eat energy.  Like wormholes, gateways, whatever's making him look ashy."  He walked off snickering and calling.  Maybe they'd like it and Andrew would think it was the coolest birthday present ever.

Illyria showed up, sneering at the man.  "Puny Ori.  How dare you touch my world."  She laid a hand on him and he started to scream.   "I am the God-King Illyria.  One of the Old Ones."  Andrew jogged up and gave her a hug with a squeal.  "Andrew, must you?  I am trying to teach this unworthy one a lesson."

"Yes.  He's a bad alien.  It's so cool!"  He grinned at the agents.  "We do keep a police band scanner in the kitchen in case of problems."

"Good to know, sir.  Aren't you the housemother for the local slayer house?"

"I am.  Andrew Wells."  He smirked at him.  "Backup magic focus."

"Magic is not real!" the man shouted.

Andrew created a fairy light.  "Really?"  He grinned.  The man started to scream like they were torturing him.  He banished the light.  Gorm stomped over.  He was about six and a half feet tall, modestly hairy with a short, dark gray pelt, and had two orange horns out of his ears.  "Hey, Gorm."

"Andrew.  I'll pay you those kittens soon."  He nodded politely at Illyria.  "May I, Great One?"

She looked at him.  "Your people would eat the power that taints him.  Yes.  You may."

He touched his head and he faded back to a normal looking being.  "Hmm, tasty but corrupt.  Our favorite sort."  He smiled at the agents.  "Can we help?"

"Maybe," he agreed, taking them with them back to the base.  He wanted to know more about what they could do to help.  Willow was barely awake and greeted all three of them with hugs.  Then she wandered off holding her head.  Andrew jogged after her to hug her again and she relaxed, looking happier with the energy he had let her have.  He came back to talk some more.  He already knew all about the project and proved it by babbling at Cam Mitchell when he walked in.  He had a bit of hero worship for him.  Maybe Mr. Mitchell would teach him how to pick up alien women.

***

John and Jack both listened to the tele-briefing.  "So, this Wells guy is a super geek?" Jack asked.

"No, sir, just a regular one."

"Huh.  How did he know?"

"Apparently his former group was responsible for one of our earlier hacks and he used to have team pictures up on the walls to moon over," Landry said.

"Okay," John said.  "Cam said something about some hero worship."

"The kid wanted to know how to pick up alien women," Landry said.  "Together, the three could stop a lot of the Ori threat."

"Are they willing to?"

"Yes."  Landry shrugged.  "I don't know much about where they came from outside of the fact that Harris called in a poker debt."

John moaned, shaking his head.  "I'll give you that ten bucks I owe you later, sir," he said.

Landry smirked.  "We think it's pretty unusual ourselves.  Can we have Harris?"

"No.  He's got a higher calling with the slayers," Jack said.  "Or else I would've recruited him last year."  Landry shook his head but he was smiling.  "Let me know what sort of backup and support they'll need."

"Not a lot.  Gorm's talked to a lot of his people.  They apparently need to leave their realm due to overcrowding but can't really come here because they'd be drawn to eat off the hellmouths and it might open them.  They don't want to be in conflict with the slayers."

"Then I'm all for helping them find a new home world," he decided.  "As long as they're good to the normal people."

"They have no desire to rule," Landry told him.  "Just nibble and graze as he put it."

"What did Vala think?" Jack asked.

"She was all for it.  Asked him to please eat her daughter if they ran into her ascended body."

"Go for it then if you think it'll be humanely done."  He hung up and leaned back in his seat, looking at the new assistant in the doorway.  He had shamelessly stolen Chuck from Atlantis.  "What?"

"You need to get ready for the White House dinner, sir.  Remember it's white tie.  Your valet laid out your outfit already for you."  He left.

"Why can't I avoid these things?" Jack complained on his way up to his rooms to get dressed.  He thought he looked like a dork in the white tie and tails but his valet assured him he wasn't as bad as he thought.

***

A reporter caught Jack and his guards out for a run, pulling up beside them in a news van.  The guards reached for their guns but she was happy and only had a video camera and microphone.  "Sir, any plans for when you're not president?" she called out the window.

"I'm going to go fishing without people looking over my shoulder," he joked.

"You know you'll have guards even after you retire, right, sir?" one of them asked with a smirk.

"I'm sure the next president can rescind that so I can go back to doing insane things to save the US," he quipped.  Both guards shook their heads.  He looked at the reporter.  "John said he's going to have a 'whoo-hoo I survived the suits' party," he offered with a smirk.

"Thank you, Mr. President.  Have a good jog.  Are you running for reelection?  I know some people are asking."

"No!  Please no more diplomatic stuff that means I have to bite my tongue for a while."

"If you're sure, sir."  They sped off to get the story back to the news team.  That way it could be edited.

"That might've insulted someone, sir," one of his guards said.

"John'll get me back for the party comment sometime.  The rest know I'm not meant to be in his sort of job."  He kept going.  It felt good to get out of the building.  He had no idea how people who worked in an office all day did it.  A few miles later they ran into the two slayers.  "Crap, did we have a meeting?" he panted.

"Yup," Buffy said with a smile.  "It's nice to be outside today."

"Guys, chill, this is the senior slayer, Buffy Summers."

"We saw her at the incident, sir."  The guard on the left nodded at her.  "We can quit if you need a rest, sir.  Get a car to pick us up."

Jack gave him a dirty look.  "We can turn around if you're that tired, Inky."  He looked at Buffy.  "These are my current guards, Inky and Blinky."

She laughed.  "They're nearly as fierce as Xander is."  She waved off the other slayer since she looked tired.  "Go get a latte.  I'll meet you in a bit."  She nodded, jogging off to do that.  She kept pace with him pretty well.  "Xander said he didn't want a medal.  Most of us agree it'll only cause problems."

Jack shrugged.  "It'll cause less problems.  You might get some hero worship for a bit but otherwise you'll be fine."  He looked at her.  "Do you usually run?"

"We had many nights of running across Sunnydale because we had to.  We don't usually jog for fun though."  She smiled.  "We had girls coming to the house asking to see if they could be tested for the slayer gifts."

"Did any of them have it?"

"No.  We're having to put out what a slayer is, how she's called, how to identify one, all that.  It's getting freak-worthy, Jack."

"I know, but it's better this way.  This way you get told when things happen so you can adjust staffing and handle things without agent interference."  He panted and gulped some air.  She slowed down and he grinned, slowing down his pace some too.  That helped.  "It'll work out fine," he said a block later.  "Even my project will someday come out of the closet and it'll be like a drag queen show of brains."

"Yeah, I guess most scientists do dress really badly.  All the nerds and geeks I know don't have any fashion sense.  Especially Xander."

Jack chuckled.  "He's fine.  He's a normal guy."

"He's a slob, Jack.  Constantly.  I'm going to make his slayers take him shopping soon.  We used to take him to torment him and try to teach him about fashion."  She grinned at the guards.  "Would you trust Xander in what he usually wears?"

"Probably not," he admitted.  He was breathing hard.  "Sir, one more mile back to the White House."

"You two can collapse and we'll talk in the office, kids."  He smirked at her.  "They're used to normal exercise, not military issue running."

She shrugged.  "I'm used to running in emergencies but I was brought up to be a princess until I got called."

"You weren't trained by them?" he asked.

"No, they missed me.  The girls that they raised, well, they're less than fashionable too.  The one we met had *one* outfit.  I mean, how bad is that!"  She shook her head.  "I'm glad we reformed all that nastiness so the girls can be girls."

"It is better," he agreed.  He smirked at her.  "What did your parents do before you got called?"

"My dad did office-type stuff and had skanky ho secretaries with an open sign on their panties.  Mom ran an art gallery after the divorce until she died.  She's where I get my fashion sense from."

He smiled.  "Seeing your sister, it's clearly genetic."  She laughed and nodded.  "How's her new marriage doing?"

"Just fine.  Sam's a bit too overprotective of her.  He fusses like Xander sometimes.  Dean cracks up laughing at it too."  She sighed.  "I would've tied him up and kept him but he didn't want anything permanent.  It sucks because I can't get guys who're comfy with me being faster and stronger than they are.  I get macho crap like I got from Riley."

Jack smiled.  "Now more will know so maybe you'll get a man who likes really strong women."

"Maybe.  Hopefully some of the other girls will too.  It sucks how bad our dating lives are sometimes."  They jogged back into the White House's back gate.  She pulled her ID out, smiling at the guard who was scowling at her.  "We had a meeting anyway."

"Let the nice slayer in, guys."  They nodded and let her through.  Jack smiled at her.  "Sometimes they're very uptight."

"Xander's worse over dates."  She shrugged, putting her wallet back.  "Why do we have to have medals?"

"You get rewarded for doing good things," he told her.  "That's the way the system works.  It means more people want to do good things to get their own."  He looked at her as they walked up the hallway.  "Besides, it's ten minutes of fame.  It won't be that bad.  They're not going to interrupt tv shows for it, Buffy."

"Fine.  Xander said you'll have to drag him kicking and screaming.  He might be in his closet."

"We can definitely get him there," Jack said with a smug look.

"That blippy thingy that I did to get to the mountain?"

"Yup."

"I'll warn him to be dressed better than usual that day then.  That way you don't pull him while he's in his holey underwear."

Jack laughed.  "Xander's pretty much a normal guy, Buffy.  We don't shop and things like that."

"I know but he's still a slob."  She held the door open for him with a grin.  "Women's lib means I can do that for you instead," she quipped.  "It's about all that I learned out of college outside commandos are exciting but sometimes bad for me."  He burst out cackling, shaking his head.  "He was.  That's when I dated Riley."

"I'm sure that was just him, Buffy, not all commandos.  I was a decent human being when I was one."  She blushed but swatted him on the arm.  He smirked, letting her into the office.  "John."

"Jack.  Miss Summers."  He smiled.  "Have a good run?"

"It was nice not to be chased or heading for a problem while running."  She checked the seat before sitting down.  "Are you sure we have to be so open?"

"Yes, that way no one in any government that's smart will bother your people," Jack said.  "The ones that want to still bother your people, you let them handle their own problems unless it's an apocalypse battle."

"We pretty well do that in the Middle East anyway," she admitted.  "They tried to capture one of our girls for not wearing a huge cloak thingy because she had to fight later.  Who can fight in one of those?"

"Those sort, you let them handle it themselves unless they ask," John said.  "They can ask you to train them how to handle it.  A few governments might like that.  I know some of my project's people wanted to know more so they could help defend all of us."

She smiled.  "I might not mind doing that but Giles is really the teacher sort.  He has all the books and knowledge and tells us how to kill things.  That's what a Watcher does."

"How does Xander teach his girls?" John asked.

"He kinda takes them in, goes all mom over them, and then teaches them how to do things with the other girls helping.  They're more family like than team like and they're all kinda scary.  They're strong alpha slayers but fairly scary because he taught them explosives and stuff too.  We didn't even use guns until Xander got pushy."

Jack looked at her.  "I'd have hated to use a sword the other day."

"We did," she offered.  "Really sore shoulders but some of us shot and some of us beheaded and stabbed.  Then Xander blew things up.  He's getting bad at that.  Someone needs to talk him down from blowing up all evil things before he goes after one of the boyfriend hopefuls."

John smiled.  "We'd like to get his explosives file because he uses stuff we haven't seen before."

She smirked.  "Talk to him.  I have no idea.  I know one of the ones he used took a finger from a poker debt to set it off.  That was while he was in Africa.  That and a few other demon products like blood and stuff."

"I'll get with him on that," John decided.  "Rodney should love that experimenting time."

She looked at him.  "Is Rodney the boyfriend sort you've been hiding?  There's a lot of wondering about who he is and why you won't come out of the closet."

"No, I'm not dating Rodney no matter who thinks so," he said sarcastically with an evil smirk of his own.  "Who says I am?"

"You never date girls.  I guess they're assuming you don't like snuggly girl time."

He shook his head.  "No, I like women, I just can't find any that aren't brainless or political around here."

Buffy smiled.  "I'd offer my sister but she's taken now.  I have a whole lot of other slayers who'll only admire you for being pretty."

"He's got a Masters degree in Mathematics," Jack told her.  "He's smart too.  That's why we used to let him geek wrangle."

"I know three slayers in college who'd drool over you for both," she offered.

"Over age?" he asked.

"Two."

"Maybe I'll let you introduce me sometime then."  She smiled at him.  He stood up.  "Let me go tell Rodney we have to get that file from Xander."  He walked off shaking his head but smiling.

"I don't get why girls go for him," she said.  "He's cute and all but I like guys who have experience."  She shrugged.  "Are you sure we have to get a medal?"

"Yes, Buffy."  He smiled.  "It'll be fine.  Dress up, be pretty, have a good lunch afterward."

"I could use a day to dress up and be pretty," she admitted.  "Who's getting one so I know who to drag to the mall?"  He handed over the list.  She looked.  "Dawn will have something but will dress up Sam.  I'll let her take him alone.  Or with Dean so they can gross him out by playing changing room games."  She sighed.  "I'll make Dean take Xander with Dawn and Sam."  She nodded at the rest.  "Okay, I'll take them to the mall.  Dress?  Dress pants?"

"Better than church clothes but not formal.  It'll be on tv so you need to make them look nice enough that no one will say anything."

She considered it.  "I can do that.  Keep Faith from the leather pants and all that."  Jack snickered.  "She does.  I do too but she looks better because she's more curvy than I am."

"You shouldn't have to worry about anyone attacking that day," Jack offered.  "So you can wear heels too."

She smiled.  "There's an art to wearing heels that you can fight in.  I learned very early on in Sunnydale how to do that and wear a skirt on patrol."

"You guys had patrol?"

"We have patrol now," she told him.  "Nightly patrol for the newly risen and any problems going on."

He nodded.  "That's reasonable."  He smiled.  "Good job if no one's said it."  She smiled back.  "Go do girl stuff so you have good clothes."  She nodded and left, going to take the local slayer shopping.  She wasn't getting a medal but they had to have more fashionable places here than they did in Cleveland.  Jack shook his head.  She was like a breath of cold air sometimes.  That airhead act of hers was really good but you could see the deeper woman underneath if you looked.  He hoped she survived for a long time.  Even his project was freaking out about a demon invasion.  Jon's swearing had went on for over three days about demon invasions.  If he kept being that huffy, he might move him and a team to the hellmouth to help out.  That way the slayers could hit on him too.

***

The day of the medals had come.  Xander had been dragged kicking and screaming into the circle Dawn was working on.  Dean too.  Dean tried to sneak off but Dawn froze him and Sam, taking the time to nag them.  Even if hunters didn't get attention because it was bad for their jobs, oh well!

Buffy came down, looking over them.  "Change," she ordered.  "All three of you guys."

Dawn sighed and compelled them to change under the fashion critical eye of Buffy.  They were all wearing underwear so it wouldn't be too embarrassing for them.  The girls got a look over.  Dawn fixed hair, did one girl's makeup for her, made one girl change out of her native clothes to something less crinkly sounding and that looked better on her coloring.  That one pouted but she still got to dress native, just not one that looked like a Miss Universe costume.

She came down, looking over everyone.  She adjusted Sam's tie, kissing the pout away.  She activated the transport circle, bringing them all.  Buffy had a firm hand on Xander and Dean both. She was happily distracting Sam's mind.  They pulled apart and she checked, fixing that one hairdo again.  She checked herself in her compact, then they were let into the chambers.

John Sheppard smiled at them.  "Welcome to Congress," he greeted.  He stood up.  "We're here to award some Medals of Honor to these people for their work during the last apocalypse battle."  Most of the senators clapped.  A few were pissed that they hadn't been able to destroy the Council and a few more were scared of them because of their religion.

Xander looked around at the sound of laughing, frowning some.  He looked at Dawn, who shrugged.  She made the spirit appear.  "Oh, hey, Cordy," he said quietly.  Everyone stared at her.  "She showed up to see."  He shrugged.  "My former girlfriend."  She snarled but started to nag him.  Dawn rendered her mute then smiled at him.  He grinned back.  "Thanks, Dawnie."

"Welcome, Xander."  She stepped forward when her name was called, taking the medal with a smile.  She stepped beside her sister.  They both stared at the three guys.  Dean was getting huffy and girlish.  Sam was sulking.  Dawn raised an eyebrow at him so he quit pouting so visibly.  She couldn't cure Dean's bad mood.  She'd leave that to Buffy.  Xander could still hear Cordelia nagging but he was ignoring her as he stepped up to get his medal.  Cordelia eventually faded out with a huff and a foot stomp.

After the ceremony, John caught up with the group out there.  "Xander, was that an ascended being?" he asked quietly, walking him off.

"The Powers ascended her as a messenger.  Usually she snarks to ruin my self esteem."  He shrugged a bit, looking sheepish.  "When we were dating I had a kissing incident with Willow and she got hurt."

"Uh-huh.  But she is ascended?"

"Yeah.  Daniel's talked to her once or twice when she nagged him that his sort of ascended was worthless and boring."

"Huh.  Okay.  Can we talk to her later?"

"No clue, dude.  She's the messenger for the Powers That Be.  Apparently this wasn't on their game plan so they're pissed again.  Mostly at me for surviving so long I guess.  I have no idea why this time."  Dawn gave his arm a hug, getting a smile back.  "Think you could get Cordy down to talk to them?  They know something about how she's higher up now."

"No clue," she admitted.  "Ask Willow."  John smiled, nodding a bit.  "Can we go have a pig-out at a nice restaurant?"

"Go ahead, kids.  Good work."  He clapped Xander on the shoulder.  They walked off chatting.  He pulled out his phone, turning around to call the base.  "Landry, John Sheppard.  Ask Willow about a Cordelia Chase, who is ascended," he said quietly.  He heard a noise and turned, blocking a blow from someone.  He put his phone back between blocks and kicked them backward.  Xander got another two down and grabbed that one to slam into a wall.  A few senators came out.  He shrugged.  "Xander just helped protect me.  Thank you, Xander."

"Puss suckers like these deserve it," he said dryly.  He walked off dusting himself off.  Buffy was scowling but oh well.  "I was closer," he defended.

"Still not a slayer, Xander."

He snorted.  "No, I'm the slayer trainer," he said dryly.  "Plus battle master."  She rolled her eyes.  "Dean, I know you're The Man and all that, can you put her into a better mood again?" he asked.  "Even if she can't keep you?"  He got into the other cab and let them drive off with that part of the group.

Dean snickered at her huff.  "I'd hate being nagged that way too, Buffy.  Being normal doesn't mean we don't fight the same way."

"Still sucks and some day he's going to get hurt again."

"We all get hurt.  That's called life."  He helped her into the cab and got in after her.  Sam was having his molars checked by Dawn, again.  "Guys, quit!"  They broke apart.  "Thank you!  I'm getting diabetes here."

Sam grinned.  "Jealous?"

"No.  I'm not ready to put a ring on it."

Buffy shrugged.  "It'd be nice to date instead of having an angel get you two drunk and hitched then into bed."

Dean nodded.  "Definitely creepy thoughts there."

"Just...don't make me an aunt, Dawn."

"Yes, dear," she sighed, looking at Sam.  "I'm going to the LA team for a few months.  Want to join me?"

"Dean would be lost without me."

"We could use Dean on the team too.  Gunn's injured again and Connor's pouty."

"Then sure," he said, looking at Dean.  "LA?"

"Sure," he decided.  He looked at Buffy.  "There goes Xander's plan."

She stared at him.  "They're not leaving until tonight," she said dryly.  He smirked but nodded.  "I wonder who those guys were."

"I'm sure it'll be on the news later," Dawn quipped.  "Probably praising Xander for helping save the VP again.  You'd almost think he's got a crush or something."

"He said he's not gay."

"Xander or the VP?" Dawn asked.

"The VP.  Xander I don't know.  Who knows what Xander got into in Africa."  She shrugged.  "Not like we care."

"True.  As long as he's happy."  They got to the restaurant, letting Sam pay since he had the wallet today.  They went inside and found the rest of them in a private room.  "Why did we get upgraded?" Dawn asked.  Sam held her chair for her, earning a smile.  Dean did the same for Buffy.

"The owner of the place is one of Clem's cousins," Xander said with a smile.

"Aww," Buffy said.  "I wonder how Clem is?"

"He's fine.  I played against him last night," Xander said.  She smiled at that.  "He said hi.  To look really pretty today.  The underground hopes that you get a good hunter out of this newfound press attention."

She shrugged.  "I'd take a good man even if he wasn't a hunter.  I can teach him how to hunt or how to be a watcher for me."

Dean nodded.  "Some day I'll feel the same way."  She smiled at him.  "I'm too young and pretty to settle down yet."

"Amen," Xander muttered.

"So, Xander, who did you hit on in Africa?" Dean asked him.  "The girls wanted to know if you switched batting teams."

Xander shrugged.  "I tried gay sex on my roadtrip after graduation."  Buffy choked, spluttering.  "Wasn't bad but it didn't really catch me as much.  I guess it's okay.  It's probably more a person by person thing.  Though the new girlfriend is slightly nicer."

"Than what?" Dawn asked.

"Cordelia."

Buffy shook her head.  "Is she near the girls?  Have we done a background check?"

"She's a friend of Illyria's."  They all stared at him in horror.  "She's being peaceful and she plays a mean hand of kitten poker too."

"Is she another god-king?" Dawn asked.  He nodded.  "Who?"

"Amonet."

"How do you do that, dude?" Dean asked.  "So I can make sure I never get infected and neither do their future spawn."

"I don't know," Xander admitted.  "She's great in bed, cooks pretty nice.  Well, her servants cook pretty good.  She likes weapons."  Buffy moaned, shaking her head.  "It's cool.  The girls all think it's a bit freaky but nice."

"I want to meet her," Buffy ordered.

"Yes, dear."

"Thank you.  Willow will too."

"I babbled at her about it but she was lost in experiment land again."

"Never mind.  I'll tell her."  She put her napkin in her lap when their salads arrived.  "What did we order?"

"Clem's cousin is making us a huge pot roast and short ribs," Xander reminded her.

"Oh, yeah, that's why we had to order ahead."  She dug into the food, it was a good salad.  The other girls quit chatting and ate too.

***

Xander looked around as he was beamed into John Sheppard's office, looking around.  "Nice pictures.  Is that where your city used to be?"

"Yup.  Amonet?"

"Yeah."  He looked at him.  "Why?"

"Is she a gou'ald?"  He looked clueless.  "Glowing yellow eyes?  Freaky voice?  Snake symbiot?"

"Well....  Um..."  He considered it.  "Maybe?"

"That means she's probably not nice, Xander."

"I only date evil women and she's been very good to me.  Plus she's decent in bed.  Not as good as Anya was but she was over a millennia old so you know, practice and all that."

"Gou'ald tried to take over this world and make us slaves, kid."

"So far she's only got three servants enslaved.  She can't get me to knock her up anyway thanks to DNA warping."

"DNA warping?" he asked.

Xander sat down.  "Back in high school, we had a coach dosing our swim team with mermaid blood and things to make them faster in the water.  Then some changed so I went undercover on the team to see why.  They detoxed all of mine but Willow said I probably have some DNA warping."

"We can test that for you.  But you can't get her pregnant?"

"No."

"Good!"  He stared at him.  "She's still dangerous."

"But she gives such nice blowjobs, John."

"Tough, kid.  Really tough.  I'll let your friend Willow and Sam Carter come get her later.  We'll run your DNA at the same time to see a few things, okay?"

"As long as you don't turn into NID weenies."

"I'd have to kill myself if I turned into an NID person."

Xander grinned.  "Me too.  We have two locked in the basement and I was supposed to call the local office to come get them this morning."

"Carter can do that too."  Xander beamed.  "Good boy.  Let's get you home so they can come find her.  Before she takes over Cleveland."  He sent him back and called Carter's number in the lab to get her out of the mountain.  Willow was not happy and he heard the rant about how she needed to turn Xander gayer than she was.  Carter got her calmed down though.  Thankfully.

***

Dawn walked into LA's headquarters a few days later.  "Connor, Gunn, I'm here," she called.

Connor came out of a hallway.  "Dawn.  Were you followed?"

"Some angels decided I need more sex than Anya used to get off Xander so they married me to Sam, who is a demon hunter, and this is his brother Dean, who is a hunter as well."  She smiled.

"Angels too?" he asked.

Sam nodded.  "They were worried she might get upset and pull a Willow."

"Oh!  Okay.  As long as she doesn't do it here."

"Hell no, I'm not like that," she reminded him with a smirk.  "Buffy said hi."

"Cool.  Gunn's in his rooms complaining about stitches.  We've got patrol later."

"Got a map with the routes so we can familiarize ourselves?" Dean asked.  "We're here to pull our own weight, Connor."

"Sure," he decided.  "It's been a while since we were more than me and him."  He got him what he needed and left them alone.  Dawn went up to check on Gunn and fix the problems with his stitches.  Sam helped with the planning stuff.  Connor would see what sort of hunter they were later on he guessed.  Though it wasn't that bad right now.

***

"That small DNA taint must be how he avoided being pheromone bombed," Sam Carter decided.

"That or where he got possessed by the hyena matriarch," Willow said.  Sam stared at her.  "Before the swim team thing."

"I thought Daniel was bad at getting into trouble," Sam said, shaking her head quickly.  "I don't think a possession by a spirit would let him block that off, even by a female one.  I don't know how to test it though.  What did the DNA warping?"

"Mermaid."  She considered it.  "The rest of the swim team is in the Pacific somewhere and usually near the coast so they can pop out and eat someone."

"They're probably near the city then since they draw things like that," she decided, calling McKay.  "Have you found any strange sea creatures out there?"  She listened to him complain he wasn't a marine biologist.  "Because we have a queen gou'ald that didn't affect someone that had that particular sort of being's DNA warping."  She winced at the ranting.  "No, mermaid.  No, probably not pretty."

"Black, slimy, looked like a movie monster," Willow told her.

"No, nothing like Disney, no half human half fish thing."  She nodded.  "Scan for me and we'll be out to get a sample from one and see if the queen's pheromones affect it or not.  Thanks."  She hung up on the new complaining with a grin.  "Rodney's thrilled."

"Of course he is.  He's a man."  She shrugged.  "They all whine about things."  She looked at the stuff from the queen.  "We have her sweaty clothes.  She was sexing up Xander.  We can expose them to it and see what happens.  If it wasn't that, then it's probably the hyena possession or maybe he got possessed by something else in Africa."

"We can see," she decided.   She gathered things and got them to the city.  Rodney was still ranting but Radek smiled and greeted them.  John was there to watch and see what happened too.  Rodney managed to capture one of them for their simple tests.  Sam got a new slime and DNA sample while it was held.  Willow exposed it to the sweaty clothes.  They discovered that they still had human style penises.  The thing tried to jump Sam.  They got her free and Willow let it go free to find a cute tuna or whatever it wanted.   Sam calmed herself down.  "Okay, so it's not the mermaid taint," Sam decided.

Willow shrugged.  "You did Xander's DNA workup."

"I did.  So maybe it is possession by a female spirit."

"She was an alpha spirit," Willow reminded her.  "It might not be the same for those possessed by the lesser pack members.  I know where half of them are living.  The rest died at graduation."  She made all the samples were sealed.  Rodney snatched them.  "We're going to run them."

"I find myself needing a reason in case we get another queen gou'ald down here," he said dryly.  "They might come for me."

Sam shook her head.  "I don't know why, Rodney.  You're not exactly agreeable."

"Should've seen the alternate him we got that once," John quipped, earning a shudder from Willow.  "He was pretty nice."

"Mine wasn't.  She was a skanky, leather catsuit wearing, purring, nasty, and liked pain, vamp.  That's the last time I messed with temporal magic.  I learned my lesson."

Sam smiled at her.  "What were the others?"

"Xander was the one who turned me.  He was mean and liked to torture Angel.  Called him Puppy."  Sam's mouth fell open.  "The wishverse had Buffy not showing up before the Harvest.  Half the town got turned."

Sam shook her head quickly.  "I can't imagine Xander like that.  Or you."

"We can both be mean if we need to," she pointed out with a smile.  "Xander can turn downright cold since he got back from Africa.  We have no idea what happened but he's not as joking and prank playing or anything."

"Constant problems can do that to you.  I used to be nicer too," John admitted quietly.  Willow gave him a hug.  "Thanks."

"Welcome."  She smiled.  "You did good.  They should've given you monthly twinkies for how good you did."  She and Sam walked off with Radek.

John smiled, shaking his head.  Willow wasn't the sort of normal woman he was used to but she was very strong.  He went to check on what Rodney was doing.  Before he got a bright idea and infected one of the lesser scientists with mermaid blood or something.

The Curse of Steak.

The night the primary elections were happening, Jack decided to go out for dinner.  He took John, their guards, and a few other buddies.  They didn't go to the same steakhouse in case it made the last time's event replay.  Still steaks and beers but across the city in a smaller, residential steakhouse instead.  They could ignore the next presidential election there.

John heard the cheer and looked toward the tv's.  They were against the back wall for security reasons.   "No," he moaned.

"Maybe it's steak that's the cursing thing," Jack sighed, putting down his knife and fork to drink his beer and most of a second glass.

John looked at him. "What?"

"Last time we were at a steakhouse in the back room.  I changed restaurants this time to make sure it wasn't that place that was cursed."

"Then maybe it's the steak," John agreed.  He slumped in his seat.  "We can turn it down."

"How much this time?" Jack asked the guard watching the coverage.

"So far, only half the states are in and you're ahead on both sides by about ten percent, sir."

Jack shook his head, stuffing his mouth with a bite of steak before he started to rant and scream at people for not letting him go.  Jack's phone beeped with a text message, making him swear at it instead.  "McKay said congratulations and he wanted good chocolates to take this nightmare image out of his head."

"I'll buy him some if he buys me some for the same reason," John complained, answering him back.  "Jesus, can't we retire, General?"

"No.  Who's behind us?"

"The right wing nut," the guard watching said.  "Behind him is the left wing nut."  They switched to a republican primary count.  "You're on the other side again too.  Less among the republicans but still very high, sir."

Jack poured himself some new beer.  "I have tequila in my desk," John said quietly.

"We're going to Camp David this weekend," Jack decided.  "So we can get drunk in private."  He took a drink and went back to his dinner.  He might never eat steak again if this was going to keep happening.  "Maybe sushi on election night, John?"

"Definitely not steak," he agreed.  "Maybe vegan stuff?"

"Eww."

John shrugged.  "I can learn to love it, sir, if it means I can retire sometime."  He ate a bite and smiled.  "Hey, Evan's old enough now, sir."

Jack looked at him.  "Half of them probably voted to keep your pretty ass in office, Sheppard."  He groaned and shook his head, chasing that thought down with a gulp of beer.  "We'll get out of public after dinner, guys."  They ate faster and headed back to their houses to rant and complain at their friends, who all agreed they had voted for them because the others were idiots.

***

"It's amazing, you didn't even run and you're winning the election," the Chief of Staff said the next morning.  Jack gave him a dirty look.  "We haven't run a single ad, not put up a single billboard, made a single election pitstop to speak, nothing."

"Then why do they want me?"

"Most of the ads I've seen have been along the lines of 'I feel safer with the general in office.  He understands what we need even if he's not diplomatic'."  Jack moaned, shaking his head.  "The same campaign staff are coming back, sir?"

"Must I?"

"Do you want that cult to come back when the next group screws up any hope of peaceful relations?"

"No," he admitted.

"Then probably yes, you must."

Jack shook his head.  "We're going to Camp David this weekend to get drunk."

"Yes, sir, I'll update your schedule.  You might want to be sober Saturday morning.  You have a meeting there with the Russian ambassador."

"He worked on their version of my old project.  He'll bring vodka," he said bluntly.   His chief of staff laughed all the way back to his office.  Jack put his head down.  "Kill me now," he muttered into the paperwork.  He heard someone appear and managed to get out of the way but they still tried to hit him.  Jack fought back and managed to get the guy down.  "Guards?" he called.  They came rushing in and captured him for them.  "I don't know how he got in here."  They dragged him off to find that out.  Jack sat down, looking up.  "I didn't mean that literally."  Another one appeared but then someone appeared with a gun and blew its head off.  "Harris, thank you."

"Welcome.  Stupid ass demons."  He put the gun back in his waistband and covered it.  "They think John's gay so therefor evil."  He hauled the body up, handing it over to a guard.  "Rare teleporting species.  They think Jack is letting John be gay and it's bad for the country.  They're all in LA.  Dawn called in a warning an hour ago when she heard they were going to be stupid."  He looked up.  "Thanks, Dawn."  She got him back to his desk.

"Find them, arrest them, put them in a prison where they'll be molested," Jack ordered.  "Let me order John to date."  He walked off to find him in his office.  "Date someone," he ordered.  "Demons just appeared to kill both of us because you're gay and it's bad for the US."  He stomped off to the gym.  He deserved some sulking time.

John gave his assistant an odd look.  "Did I hear that right?"  She nodded.  "Okay, I'll date a few pretty girls but no one shallow or political."

"I have a very nice cousin, sir.  She's not fully pretty enough for you but she's very sweet."

He smiled.  "I could like that.  Thank you."  She smiled and nodded, moving to call her.  John rubbed his eyes.  This was insane.  Why didn't he just quit?  He was the VP, he could quit.  Jack could get Evan Lorne to do it.  He had relatives in politics.  He'd know what to do better than he did.  His phone rang with a message from Rodney saying that Evan was hiding from his evil thoughts, they had heard the reports out of LA of demons doing a protest in front of the federal building about him being gay and bad for the US.  John answered back in the meanest way possible and went to the gym to workout.  On second thought, he went to Atlantis and made Ronon and Teyla work with him.  Because this sucked large.

***

After his workout, John walked into the press room.  There were always a couple of reporters in there.  They might say things about him being sweaty but oh well.  "People, I'm not gay.  I've never been gay.  I do like women but I'm not finding many around here that want me for being John, not the Vice President.  I've never had any problems getting any sort of date I wanted.  Jack's the same way.  He's more recently divorced than I am so he's not really looking.  So please put all rumors to rest.  I'm not gay, not dating a guy, none of it."  He walked off shaking his head.

The reporters sent that film to their news people so they could put it out there.  He had looked good sweaty.

All the entertainment magazines that night and for the next week had pictures of him from jogging days or that sweaty picture from the press rant.  John hid in his office because Jack would pick on him about that for sure.  Rodney certainly was.

***

Jack faced the press corps.  He really hated this part of the job.  "I'm told you guys had nosy questions?"

"Is Colonel Sheppard all right?  No one's seen him in a week, sir."

"I think you guys embarrassed him."  He pointed at one.

"Have you thought about dating again, General?"

"I've been on a few over the years but nothing really panned out."  He pointed at another one.  "Something not on my dating life?"

"Sir, do you know what sort of woman the Colonel likes?"

"Pretty, smart, leggy, other than that, ask him."  He pointed at another one.  "Nothing related to dating?"

"Sir, there's been rumors that you've gotten a letter by a group that wants to repeal 'don't ask don't tell'.  Is that true and what are your thoughts on that?"

"I haven't gotten that letter yet."  He considered it.  "Personally, I don't care where you stick it as long as it's not a dog, cat, kid, or something that can't consent."  His phone rang with a text message.  "The smartass reminded me that there's a large goth subculture so if they want to screw vampires and things like that, that's their tastes, not mine."  He looked up again.  "As a military leader, I've never cared who stuck what where as long as it was willing.  I've never taken at DADT complaint, I never plan on taking one.  As for removing it, I need to talk to the Pentagon about that.  I know some soldiers are panicky about it."

John walked in.  "Most of them are panicking that they'd be hit on.  All the gay soldiers I know of have a very good sense of who's not going to be nice about it.  A few may tease straight guys now and then if they're friends but they won't have to worry about being hit on.  I think it'd be good for them to be able to talk about their relationships like the other guys can.  Yes, I'm in favor of repealing it for anti-discrimination laws.  General?"

"For me personally, yes.  I still need to see how bad the backlash might be first before I do so.  I'll be talking to them tonight."

"I'll have Chuck arrange it."

"Thanks, Sheppard.  Any other more pertinent questions?"

"Sir, you've been seen a few times with Miss Summers.  Do you perhaps like her?" one asked with a smile.

"She's a sweet girl, but too young for me.  I'm twice her age," Jack complained.  "Get your mind out of the gutter."

"Colonel?"

"She's not my type.  Sorry.  I like women who use their minds to impress me.  She likes to hide hers sometimes."  He shrugged and walked off.  He came back.  "You might want to talk to them about the proposed base closings the Senate is talking about too, General."  He walked off again.

"I can do that," Jack agreed.  He looked at them.  "Other questions?"

"Sir, we've had hints that you worked with people who are now on NORAD's base.  What did you do with them?"

"Classified."  He pointed at another.

"Who is the blonde woman in uniform you talk with, General?"

"Colonel Carter.  She's an astrophysicist."  He pointed.  "Next?"

"Sir, what are you going to do if something happens to the Colonel from jumping into bad situations?  It appeared after that battle he was more injured than you were."

"Originally I had it between him and one young man, who just got promoted earlier this week to Lieutenant Colonel.  He has a better background for all this and I'd probably nominate him instead of someone like the pro-tem head of the Senate.  I like the guy professionally but I'd want someone I can count on not to embarrass me and to help me when I'm stuck.  He's too political for me."

"What's his name, sir?"

"Evan Lorne."  That got a nod and he sat down.  "Any other questions?

"Why did you pick the Colonel instead of him?"

"He was younger by a year.  Under the age limits," Jack said.  That got a few nods.  "Anything else?  Because if I know the Lieutenant Colonel, he's going to be hiding as soon as he heard I said that."

"Where is he stationed?" one said with a smile.

"Classified."

"Sir, how does a test pilot get into special forces?" one asked.

Jack stared at them.  "They needed me and my skills, both on the ground and off."  He looked around.  "Anything else?"

"Sir, are you retiring fully after you get done here?" one asked.

"Not sure yet.  I'm going fishing by myself for a few days and then I'll figure that out."  They all nodded so he left.  That had been almost painless.  He still hated the press though.  They printed the stupidest things about him.  Including an interview with his ex-wife that had gotten him sympathy cards for his son's death for a month.  He ran into John in the hallway.  "They asked so I told them you liked pretty, leggy, smart things."

"Yes I do.  They ask you if you're dating Buffy?"

"Yup."  He shook his head.  "She's much too young for me."  He went to his office then came out.  "Guys, why is there a body on my carpet?"  They went to check on the guard that was passed out.  Hopefully it was for a good reason.

***

Jack blinked himself awake.  He had no idea where he was.  This definitely wasn't his room at the White House.  The bed was thin and lumpy.  He was also warm against one side so he knew he had someone in it with him.  He looked.  Blonde hair he recognized even in the tangled state.  "Buffy?" he asked, checking on her.  She moaned, pushing at him.  "No, wake up.  C'mon."

"Head hurts," she mumbled, drifting off again.

He checked her pulse.  Not bad.  Her skin didn't feel too warm.   He lifted her eyelid, not dodging the weak swat.  "Drugged, not concussed."

"Faster healing," she muttered.  She brushed his hand off.  "Let me rest.  See where we are and if there's any angels involved."

Jack got up to look around their cell.  It was a pretty simple room.  The door was locked.  It felt glued or sealed shut. They had a rudimentary bathroom. A sink with a hose hooked on for a shower, a toilet with a roll of paper.  He found the medicine cabinet behind the mirror had 2 other rolls and a single razor.  He came back out to look at the door.  Kicking it made his knee ache but didn't do any good.

Buffy got up, still holding her head, and kicked it on the hinge side.  It came off.  On the other side was a sheet of metal.  That was clearly welded into place.  "Dawn?" she called.  It echoed a bit.  "Crap, shielded."  She went to the bathroom, grimacing.  "I'm flashing back to a highway rest stop," she complained, closing the door.  She came out ten minutes later, grimacing.  "They gave me a shot of something to stop my period at least."

Jack nodded.  "That's handy to know."  She smirked at him.  "Any idea?"

"No.  I'm hoping this isn't the same sort of thing that got Dawn married off."

"That would be a bit strange," he agreed.  "Well, we have no idea what's going on right now.  I'm guessing there's some agents freaking out on John."

She nodded.  "I was in England so Giles is probably freaking out.  I was in front of him the last I knew."  She sat on the foot of the bed.  "Might as well sit.  Pacing will only wear us out.  Any hint of food?"

"Not yet," he admitted.  They sat down.  "So, why England?"

"Checking in with my watcher.  It's been a while since I saw him."

"That's cool.  The last I remember, I was doing paperwork that was going to drive me nuts."

"I guess that's the downside of that job."

"Most of the time.  The rest it's kinda boring or meeting with diplomats."

"No parties?"

"Not many unless I want to go be bothered by people who want things."

"I can understand that I guess."  She leaned against the wall.  Across from them, a panel opened and showed a shelf full of things.  "Huh."  They walked over to look.  "MRE?"

"Disgusting but it's food."  He got himself one, she got one, but he changed it to something better tasting.  "That's gross."  He got another set too in case it wouldn't open again fora  while.  They sat down.  The door stayed open so he got the rest out and put into a corner.  The panel closed and he sat down to show her how to warm them up.

"You're right, they're disgusting," she admitted.

"You eat these in the field," he said.  He shrugged a bit.  "You get used to them."

"I guess.  I think I'd rather get used to veggie burgers.  They're just as gross."  He laughed, nodding some.  She ate it anyway.  She had to keep her strength up.  There was no telling how long they'd be in there.

***

John stomped into the slayer house.  He was in a truly foul mood at the moment.  The Secret Service was blaming each other, Jon O'Neill had yelled at him, and everyone was panicking.  "Xander!" he shouted.  The boy came out of the kitchen.  "Someone teleported Jack out of the oval office.  The note mentions Miss Summers as well?"  He held up a photocopy.

Xander took it to look over.  "Faith!" he shouted.  "Get Dawn here!"  He looked at him.  "Let's see what we can do."  Faith came down the stairs rubbing her face.  "Faith, Buffy and the president got stolen."  That woke her up.  "Go rattle some people until they beg to hand them back."  She nodded, going to do that.  "Dawn Summers-Winchester!" he shouted.

She appeared.  "Damn it, I was busy," she complained.

"Your sister has your luck and she's with the president."  He handed over the note.

She read it over, shaking her head.  "They're not from this realm."

"Can you do a searching?"

"Yeah, easily."  She went to the office, pulling out Buffy's vial from the safe.   She put it on the map in there.  It had a built-in searching on it.  Nothing.  No glow.  She considered it.  "They're not in the US."  She went to the bigger map.  Nothing on that one.  She moved it to each continent.  "Hmm."

Xander took it and went to another map.  "I'll be fucking damned."  Dawn flinched.  "Colonel, you know where she is."  He pointed at the glow.  "It's a magically null area.  A protected valley."  He texted that to Faith.  Dawn groaned and left.  "She'll have Connor beat some people in LA."  He looked at him.  "Any idea why?"

"Maybe.  Depends on why steal Buffy with him?"

"How many questions were asked if they were dating since they jog together for meetings?"

"Good point."  He walked off, getting beamed back to the white house.  "The Council found their girl but it's in a problematic area.  It's shielded."  He called Sam Carter.  "Come to me please, Colonel."  He hung up.  She, Willow, and Rodney appeared.  "We have a cloaked valley in Turkey that has a place where the president and Miss Summers are presently being held hostage."

Willow gave him a look and went to look at the map.  She came back with the book and Daniel since he had insisted.  "Here, this is on the valley."  She handed it over.  "I can't interrupt that."

"Would something like heat vision find it?" Sam asked.  "I noticed some of the hidden areas you've shown us that did work.  Or night vision."

She shrugged.  "I've never tried that.  Are they friendly?"

"Presently," John admitted.  "Someone get me the Middle East commander," he called.   "This is incredibly stupid of someone."

"It's more than stupid, it's suicidal," Willow told him.  "Buffy hates it when she turns into Dawn."

Rodney gave her a dirty look.  "What?"

"Dawn gets kidnaped all the time.  Buffy hates it when she gets into Dawn sort of problems."

Rodney shook his head quickly.  "Stop before you make my brain explode."

"I didn't think I was that cute today," she quipped.

"Enough," John ordered.  "He's right, you're warping again, Willow.  We're used to more cranky people."  The commander of the Middle East bases stomped in.  John handed over the book.  "The president and senior slayer are being held there."

He read it over, grimacing.  "Is that on a map?"

Willow pulled up one on the computer in there, then pointed.  "It's there."  He looked and sighed.  "It's shielded."

"Who're you?" the general asked.

"Willow Rosenburg, senior witch at the Council."

"Oh," he said flatly.

"She's working in O'Neill's old project," John told her.  "What can you tell me about that valley?"

"Never seen it on a map, sir.  As far as I could tell, it was all mountains in that area.  Why is it shielded or whatever?"

"Originally some fairly strong witches way back when shielded it to protec themselves from the Ottoman Turks invading and taking them for their own uses," Willow said, leaning against the back of a chair.  "Then, after they died out, a few peaceful, earth demon groups moved in there to farm and stay out of harm's way.  As far as we know, they're still there.  There's only about ten left though."  The general grimaced but nodded.  "This isn't them though.  They can't teleport."  Dawn teleported in.  "Any idea?"

"Yeah, Connor heard something last night that confused him so he didn't mention it.  They called her his stepmother and said that they wanted her to be happy."  Willow snorted.  "Angel would be so pissed off if he heard them call her that.  Anyway, the valley is there, it's still protected.  It's going to take a fairly strong disruption to get into it.  See, it's linked to a key basically," she said at the confused looks.  "The key holds the shield over it.  If the shield warps it's okay.  If it breaks, it can snap the shield to take the area out of time and space.  Which I don't know how to break."

Willow looked at her.  "Can you access it?"

"No.  I can't figure out how to do that.  Glory might've had something that would tell me but she didn't exactly share.  I tried the blood thing but it didn't work."

"When?" John asked.

"Just now."  John gaped.  She smiled.  "No one saw me.  They're definitely there.  The house is shielded even beyond things.  It's the old clan house."  She drew out a map.   "They're in this room.  That's all I could tell.  As for the shield over the valley itself, I can help you guys get through it.  I can't create a permanent opening."  That got a nod from the general.  "But if you send normals they might freak."

"You can have people from our project," John assured her.  "We're used to weird.  We barely blink at Willow."

"You used the 'see me' thing in reverse?"  Dawn nodded.  "Then I can safely do that and I'm trained to be on a team," Willow told them.

"Carter?"

"Agreed.  She is trained enough."

"Take yours and Evan's."  She nodded, going back with Willow to tell them that.  He looked at the general.  "Listen for them to need help."

"I will.  How soon?"

"Probably within a few hours.  I'm not sure.  I'll have Carter call."  He nodded and left to send down emergency orders that way.  They had a base nearby.  John called.  "Landry, Sheppard, I'm authorizing SG-1 and SGA-2 to go retrieve General O'Neill and Miss Summers with Miss Rosenburg's help.  They have it for you."  He hung up and went to calm down the people.  They had released the note to the press instead of the Secret Service.  The press corps were gathered and waiting.  "We know where he is, we know he's in good condition.  We have people looking at the rescue effort but do not tell anyone that since I know we're not live right now."

"Why would they do this, Colonel?"

"I have no clue but when we find them I'll ask."  He looked around.  "We know they're being treated humanely.  They have food, water, all that.  They're somewhere hard to get to but not impossible and we have people going."

"Sir, will this change anything right now?" one reporter asked.

"Nope.  That's why he chose me, because I'd keep things going the right way."  He walked out.  He needed to be near the phone so he could get news as it happened.

***

They were standing on the right cliff.  Willow had found the tree.  She was accessing the shield.  Everyone gasped as the valley opened up.  "How many of these are there?" Cam asked quietly.

"About twenty around the world.  One of the prettiest is in the Southwest."  She got them in, walking in last.  She pointed.  "The demons here are peaceful and can't teleport.  I don't know why they picked here."

"We'll see if we can figure out who it was when we get in there," Evan said.  He pointed.  She nodded. They walked around the edge of the cliff valley, going to the houses in the cliff face.  She found the right one and pointed.  They entered and found the metal shield.  "Sir?" he called quietly.

"Thank god, save us from MRE's," Buffy called back.   "Jack, people."  She kicked the plate.  "It's too thick."

Carter stepped up to open the panel with a laser, but it didn't cut through.  "Crap."

Willow looked then grimaced.  She looked up, raised her hands, then concentrated.  Her hair started to bleach and the wall melted.  "Hi," she said.

"Don't make us knock you out," Sam hissed.

"I'm not.  I'm fine."  They got them out of there.  Jack had to dress in the bathroom.  Apparently he had been showering.  They walked out.  The demons were waiting.  "Who did that?" Willow demanded.

"One of the old ones," one of the demons said, looking down.  "They said that the Great Slayer and the Future of Humanity should be together."  He bowed.  "We did not plan it or want it here, Great Slayer."

Buffy grimaced.  "What sort of old one?  Demon?"  They shook their heads.

"Ascended or Ancients?" Jack asked.  That one nodded.  "We'll deal with them later.  Do you know which one?"  He shook his head.  "Then let's go."

"The shield is stuck for another three hours due to the moon."

"We can wait for three hours," Evan agreed.

"Will it create a time difference?" Willow asked.

The demon nodded.  "It will be about a week in the rest of the world."

"We can handle that," Evan agreed.  "We've seen worse."   Willow looked at him.  "Sheppard had one that was six months for him and ten hours for us."

"That's worse," Willow agreed.  They went to sit near the tree for now.  That way they didn't interfere or cause problems.

"Why do they stay here?" Sam asked her.

"Because they don't want to do more than nurture the lands," Willow said with a small smile.  "Anything outside that, it overloads them.  Doing this is like monks going to a monastery and taking a vow of silence.  To them, the Earth Goddess is more important."

"How would they get us there?" Buffy asked Jack.

Who grimaced.  "The same way we get to the Mountain."

"Oh.  Okay.  Willow, has anyone talked to Giles?"

"I haven't heard from Giles," she admitted.  "Cellphones won't work here but I'll check when we get free."  Buffy smiled and nodded.  Willow gave her a shoulder nudge.  "At least the underground is moving on from putting you with Angel again," she said quietly.  "Only one called you Connor's stepmother."

"I'm not sure I could've handled the kid suddenly appearing that way."

"Angel?" Sam asked.

"Back when I was a horribly old sixteen," she sighed.  "There was a guy who showed up, being all cryptic, giving me hints about my duty, wore a leather jacket he gave me once."

"Ah, a teenage girl fantasy guy," Sam said wisely.

"Xander hated him from the start," Willow said.  "Called him Deadboy and things."

"Deadboy?" Evan asked.

"He was a vampire.  The Champion for the Powers That Be.  They're the higher powers over the slayers and hunters.  Anyway," she sighed.  "We dated, we slept together, he lost his soul, killed a bunch of people, I had to send him to hell, he came back and I hid it from people and then he eventually left because we couldn't be around each other without wanting to go back and making him slip his soul again.  We finally grew up."  She looked at Willow.  "Xander's hated most of the guys I've dated.  He does that to all of us."

"He did like Sam immediately," Willow pointed out.

"Huh.  So maybe it's just that I had bad taste?  I mean, Angel, Parker, Riley, Spike.  The Immortal in Rome."

"Yeah, that's bad taste and Spike was more about wanting someone to be there for you," Willow said.

"So, Angel was a vampire," Jack said.

Buffy nodded.  "I grew out of it eventually.  Spike died to finish the threat of the First Evil, which was what sucked Sunnydale in.  He thought he loved me so much he went to have a soul stuck in him."  She slumped some, leaning on her knees.  "I think Willow's right about that one.  I was needing someone there.  I had just been pulled out of heaven, I was confused and hurting.  Mom was dead, things didn't seem right to me.  Then the bringers came and things got really bad so I needed some balance."

"How did you die?" Jack asked quietly.

"That time, I was fighting Glory to save Dawn.  Glory wanted to open portals to bring her hell realm onto earth.  The only way to stop it was with the blood.  They made Dawn of me to protect her so I jumped."

Willow sighed.  "I'm the one that brought her back because things were going bad.  I lied to get Xander to help me.  I did the spell and all that but it was the wrong thing to do and I realize that now."

Buffy smiled at her.  "Think about all I would've missed out on if you hadn't."

"Think about all that happened because I did," Willow countered.

"That's a good reason to stay far away from that level now," Cam reminded her more gently than normal.  He hated magic and he hated that she could do almost anything without any oversight, teaching, or anything that normal people would consider healthy.  He tugged on a piece of white hair.   "You can do scary things, Willow.  Things that would freak out a lot of people.  You seem to want to do them daily."

"I know, that's a problem I'm struggling with.  What I should be using it for."

"Nothing except emergencies," Evan told her.  "Not changing clothes, decorating, doing your hair, nothing less than an emergency."

She nodded.  "I try but it's so easy sometimes."

"Yeah but sometimes easy isn't good.  Taking the harder road makes you a stronger woman," Sam said.  "Otherwise I'd have math degrees."

Willow nodded.  "I'm trying."

"We think you've done fantastic," Buffy assured her with a smile.  "You're doing good.  Whatever Xander said to you helped?"

"He paddled me so long I had to release all the magic I had hold of," she said quietly.  "I had bruises, Buffy."  Buffy glared at the tree.  "I needed it.  I deserved it for the way I was trying to help the girls and knocked you guys down a lot.  He told me he wouldn't let me get back to that junkie spot, that he'd take me out if I ever got that bad again.  It's kinda...nice to hear.  That someone will stop me if I get to the point where I want to destroy the world again."

"You did?" Evan asked, giving her a horrified look.

"My Tara had just been killed next to me.  I was full blown, trying to do the first rehab from a black magic addiction.  I lost it," she said honestly.  "I was going to pull up that temple and have her destroy the world so everyone felt the same grief I felt.  Xander stopped me.  Giles got me to Devon."

Sam rubbed her arm.  "You're better now and if you get near to that point of pain, you'll talk to someone."

She nodded.  "I can do that now.  Back then I was worse than this last scary point.  Then I was doing memory spells and things."

Buffy nodded.  "Broke Dawn's arm."

"Yup.  Shoved you both in a grave."  She smiled.  "Thankfully I'm better and we all grew up."

"We did, but we have got to get Xander calmed down again."

"I'm guessing Xander saw more combat than you think," Jack said.  "I'm also guessing he hardly ever sleeps anymore, maybe has a few daytime flashbacks?"  Buffy nodded.  "Was that before one of his girls was killed or after?"

"Before.  Within a year of him getting there," Buffy admitted.  "I don't know what happened.  I know he got really upset we didn't ask him to come back for the invasion in LA."

"You don't think he's still upset about that, do you?" Willow asked.

"He said something once that he and his girls handled a small militia troupe that day," Jack said quietly.

Buffy looked at him.  "Like humans or demons?"

"Humans I'm betting if he was in Africa," Evan said.  His team all nodded.

"But that's not the slayer way," Buffy said.

"If they're attacking you can't really avoid it," Jack told her.  She blanched.  He nodded.  "He called to see if there was any help around where he was because a large, 900 member, militia was coming for the girls.  He ended up solving it with explosives."

She shuddered.  "I can't even imagine."

"Combat changes you some," Jack told her.  He patted her on the shoulder.  "You learn what's important and how to hold it closer to you.  I can talk to the kid, offer him the name of a good person who's dealt with combat trauma before.  Some of your other girls could probably use it too."

She nodded.  "I've had days I've been so burned out," she admitted.  She put her chin back on her knees. "I don't know.  Maybe that is it.  If so, I'll gladly support him retiring or whatever."

"He doesn't have to retire," Cam assured her.  "Just work some things out.  Though he could probably use a vacation."  The shield lit up and they hurried through.  Jack and Buffy went first to make sure they could come out.  The others followed.  They hiked down the hill, Jack helping Buffy since she was wearing less than practical, cute shoes.  Willow at least had hiking boots on.  Then again, Buffy probably hadn't expected to be kidnaped by an Ancient either.  John was going to flip out about that.  They made it to the flatter portions and found a helicopter coming in.  "That's US issue," Evan noted.

"Hey, Guys," Jack said as they landed.  "We were gone how long?"

"A little over a week, sir.  We've been watching to see when you were going to reappear."  They got them inside.  "We're going to the nearest base, sir.  Do you need medical, or your friend?"

"No, we're good," Jack said calmly.  "They locked us in a room with MRE's and a minimal bathroom."  The soldiers nodded, making sure the rest got in.  They had to squeeze a bit but that was fine.  "Did John go on tv and vow to kill everyone involved?"

"No, sir, he was fairly calm and said we knew where you were and we'd get you back as soon as humanly possible, and that he was going to have a long talk with whoever had done this.  He was wearing a very evil look too.  Made us all shudder in horror, sir," the pilot called back over the headsets.

"That's John for ya," Jack said.  "Threaten with intent and make them believe you'll be the vilest SOB they'll ever wish they had never crossed."

"I've seen him be meaner once," the soldier with them said.  He smiled at Evan.  "Nice to see you again, Major."

"Lieutenant Colonel now," he said with a grin back.  "But good job getting back in the air, Sergeant."

"It's good to be doing something again that doesn't require geeks," he joked.

"The geeks will inherit the earth," Jack agreed.

"Damn right we will," Sam joked with a smirk for him.

Willow patted her on the knee.  "It'll be a better world when we do."

"It will be."  She grinned.  "Then we can get all the muscle only men into things that they want to do so we have time to think great and high thoughts."

Cam snorted.  "You'll still need us in the military," he reminded her.  She smirked at him.  He smirked back.  "For that, you're missing PT this week, Colonel.  Better fix that soon before Landry hears."

"Crap."

"Uh-huh."  The pilot called the base that they were coming in.  "Nearly there?" he called.

"Yes, sir.  Ready and waiting on you."

"Thank you," Jack called.  He looked at Buffy.  "You can call home too."  She smiled back.  "We'll probably have people jumping on us to debrief too."  She blushed, ducking her head.  He laughed.  "Not that way."

"Full physicals are protocol," Sam assured her.  "You can keep Willow for that."  Buffy nodded.  They finally made it to the base and landed.  MP's came rushing out to gather them and take them to the infirmary.  Buffy grabbed Willow so Willow waved at them as she walked with Buffy.  The MP glared.  "She goes with her," Sam ordered.  "Because you're men."

"That's fine, ma'am."

"That's Colonel," she said bluntly.  They nodded, accepting that higher rank.  Jack was snickering.  "Let me call John."  She followed.  The MP tried to get in her way but she glared.  "Move it."  Cam came to move them for her.  "I could've knocked him out myself, Mitchell."

"Might ruin your manicure, Carter," he joked.   "She served on the same mission team with the President," he hissed.  "She will kill you."  He walked in.  "Sir."

"Cam, relax.  Calm Carter down too.  Doctor Lam is here."

"Hi, Carolyn," Sam said with a smile.  "I let Willow go with Miss Summers."

"I'll be seeing them in a second."  She looked at the general.  "I'm nicer than Frasier but not much, sir."

"I know, she passed on her scary needles to you," Jack quipped.  He took off his shirt.  Buffy was led in and squeaked, turning around.  He ducked his head, shaking it.  "Sorry, Buffy."

"It's okay.  It's not the first chest I've seen but I didn't expect to."  She looked back.  "Shouldn't you have a curtain and some privacy?"

"I'm getting there," Cam said, pulling one around for her and then his boss.  Jack smirked at him too.  "So she's not embarrassed, sir."

"That's fine."  He let Doctor Lam look him over.  "Anything you can see?"

"No, sir.  No modifications, nothing like that.  Any idea who the dead people are?"

"Literally," Cam muttered.

Sam nodded.  "Ancients," she mouthed.

Lam gave her an odd look.  "That's going to be an interesting trial then."  She got done and walked over to check Buffy.  "Miss Summers, I'm Doctor Lam.  I work in the Mountain."

"Carolyn's really cool, Buffy, even though she does have huge needles," Willow assured her.

"Okay.  It's been a while since I had a full physical.  They gave me something to stop my cycle."

"That's fine.  The blood test should find that."  She drew a few vials of blood and moved on to the rest of the tests.  She looked at her.  "Do have you any idea if I should do a female exam, Miss Summers?"

"We didn't have sex," she admitted.  "I woke up clothed.  I bathed since then.  We were in there for like two weeks."

"Let me do a cursory one just in case that's why your cycle stopped then."  She nodded but huffed.  Carolyn smiled at her for it.  "I don't have to do the scraping, just look, feel a bit.  Make sure they didn't stick anything up there."  She handed her a paper sheet.   The exam was done quickly enough but she did take a swab.  "That's not natural fluid," she explained.  She capped the swab and helped her sit up.  "Go ahead and get dressed.  We can let you call home."  She left to run the tests on the bloodwork and swabs herself.

Buffy came out tucking in her shirt, smiling at the people watching her.  "What?"

"You okay?" Sam asked.

"She thinks they spread something gel like up there."  She shrugged.  "I don't know."

"Okay."  They led her to the base commander's office.  "Sir, we have a video conference set up."  She pointed at the phone for Buffy.  "Dial 9 to get an outside line."

"Thank you," Buffy said, calling Giles' phone.  No answer.  She called the house in Cleveland, no answer.  "Are they having an issue or are they out for sundaes?" she sighed.

Willow texted someone.  "Small attack on the house.  Giles is in Vienna."  She dialed that number, then had to redail to include the first 9.   "There you go."  She smiled.  "Faith said it's good you're okay."

"I'm glad I'm okay too.  Hi, Giles."  She listened to him complain she had been taken.  "I know, but it's not my fault and it's not like I'm turning into Dawn.  No, I'm okay.  Turkey.  I'm good, I promise.  I'll see you in a few hours or tomorrow.  No, he's fine too, Giles.  I promise.  They fed us gross MRE's and things so have me a cheeseburger?" she asked hopefully, making him sigh but promise.  "Cool.  I'll see you tomorrow."  She hung up, looking at Willow.  "Attacked?"

"Minor thing.  Xander came out with his battle axe and they fled for their lives according to Faith.  She was giggling insanely over his bedhair."

"Good."  She looked at Jack, who was growling at someone.  She came over.  "Dude, you're pissing off the president of the United States.  Stop it.  That Colonel looks mean if you piss him off."  She looked at Sam, who grinned and nodded.  "Figures.  Cute ones do have a temper usually.  I did when I was cute oh so many years ago."  She let them walk her off.

Jack looked at John, smirking some.  "That assistant was whose?"

"Yours actually.  The new intern."  He smirked.  "Are you all right, sir?"

"I'm fine."  The picture got widened so they could see the press corps.  He'd have to get John for that later.  "I'm fine.  They treated us well.  We didn't actually see any of our kidnapers and they left us MRE's.  I'm healthy and on my way back tonight."

"Your plane is waiting at the local airport," the base commander said.

Jack smiled at him.  "Thank you for thinking of that detail, I might've forgotten."  The man smiled back.  He looked at John again.  "I'll be back as soon as I can.  Anything I need briefed on?"

"It'll be on the plane for you."

"Good."  He smiled.  "Thank you for getting us so fast, John."

"Not a problem, sir, I'd have wanted sooner."

"I know.  Tell everyone I'm fine and I'll be back soon so they quit worrying."  He hung up, looking at Mitchell.  "He took it in the press room."

"It's one way to make people quit worrying so much," he said with a small shrug.  "Ready to go to the plane?  I think Carter was walking Summers that way."

"Sure."  He shook the base commander's hand.  "Thank your people for their good job, Commander."

"Thank you, sir.  I'm glad you're all right."

Jack smiled.  "As kidnapings go, it wasn't as bad as many I've had."  He walked out with his self-appointed guards.  "Buffy, are you flying back with us?"

"Yup, since I don't have my passport or anything."  She grinned.  "If you don't mind?  I'll try not to snore if I sleep on the plane."

"You only snored that one time," he joked, getting poked on the arm for it.  They got loaded into jeeps and taken to the airport.  There were some press people there but both teams were good at diverting them.   One of them recognized Buffy, who smiled and waved.  Jack waved as he escaped.  The rest of the team joined them right after he was on board.  He sighed as he sat down.  "Better.  No more reporters."  Both teams got sorted out.  "We all here, people?"  They nodded.  The air hostess, who was Air Force, closed the doors so they could go.  Buffy and Willow were on the couch across from his.  Evan's team was chatting with Cam's team back in the reporter/staff section.  He put the foot rest up and got comfortable.  "Yell at me if I snore."

"Of course," Buffy agreed with a smile.  "We need one of these for slayer trips."

Willow nodded.  "We do."  The air hostess came by to cover Jack up and nodded at them before going into the kitchen area.  "Let's hope it's not a bumpy ride."

"Yeah, I hate turbulence too," Buffy said.  The air hostess gave her a fashion magazine, getting a smile back.  "Thank you."  She looked through it.  "Eww, I'll look bad this winter."  She pouted but she and Willow quietly talked about fashion stuff.  Willow clearly needed help again.  They looked over when Jack snorted, smiling at him.  Buffy got up to tuck him in better then sat back down to go back to the next season's fashions.

Willow had a sneaky suspicion.  "So, what do you think about Harrison Ford?" she teased with a smirk.

"Adorably competent with a whip," she sighed.  "Experienced.  Really nice guy in the movies.  Hell, I'll never find a guy like that.  No one not in the life wants to date someone like me.  I could die one night on patrol, could come back vamped.  I could die in an apocalypse battle.  The other hunters we've met think I'm tragically cute but discount my skills.  It's like I'm doomed."

"You're not doomed," Willow said.  "Just because you like guys with experience, that understand all you've been through, doesn't mean you're doomed."

"I am so doomed.  None of the hunters like me."

"That's them.  What about hunters in other countries and agents?"

"They think I'm flaky.  Especially the US agents."

Jack was listening even though he didn't want to.  He understood what Buffy was complaining about.  It was the same reason he couldn't get a date.  Why John couldn't either.  Maybe he'd try to set her and John up.

"I don't know why you want a guy that's forty or so," Willow said.

"Because they've done enough to understand.  Younger ones are nice and do things like pounce, but how many of them are going to understand my duty?  Most of them think I'm flaky, the older ones can see through that.  They treat me like I'm more precious than just another girlfriend and there's plenty of them out there.  Plus they treat me better, ask my opinion on things, all that.  I don't want a sugar daddy, I need a real man and those apparently quit being made twenty-nine years ago."

Jack snickered.  "Yes, they were.  We've noticed that in the military too."  He sat up with a groan.  He noticed the blush.  "Hell, even I can find Harrison Ford attractive, girls.  Many men want to be him."  The blush got brighter.  Jack smiled.  "I think you're a great girl."  She squeaked.

Willow hopped up.  "Let me go pick my nose in the bathroom."  She got free of that awkward talk.  Yes, it had worked!

Jack looked at her.  "Some day I'll get to retire from all this stressful stuff."

"I keep saying that too," she sighed.  "That's why I went to Rome.  Then we heard about the invasion and it was all hands.  I guess I never left again after that."

Jack stared at her.  "Go for a jog tomorrow morning?"

"I'm not usually a morning person but okay," she said slowly.  He grinned.  She smiled back.  She realized he was hitting on her and blushed again.  "The usual route?"

"That'll work."  She smiled again.  "Rest.  It's a most of the day flight to DC."  She nodded, getting comfortable.  "The footrest goes up."  She put it up and stretched out.  He smiled, getting back to his own nap.  Now he got to sleep, even though he was dreaming about ugly knit dresses attacking him.  He would look so bad in them.

That's when he realized he had it bad.

***

John was waiting at the airfield when the plane landed.  "Welcome back," he said when Cam walked off the plane.  "What took so long?"

"The shield was stuck for a few hours.  Evan said you ran into a time displacement bubble?"

"Yup.  Hated the hell out of that thing."  He shook his hand.  "He good?" he asked quietly.

"Fine.  I think he realized he has a crush on someone," he said sotto voice next to John's ear.

"Really?"  He grinned.  The rest of them came down.  "Evan," he said, shaking his hand.  "Thanks.  Knew I could count on you."

"Not a problem, just don't think of me if we're going to do more political things.  I'm still ducking my family over that."  The women came down and Jack behind them.  He looked at his former CO.  "They're so gushy," he muttered.

John nodded.  "Sir, welcome back.  Miss Summers, your local Slayer is ordering a pizza as soon as she hears you're local."  She blushed but nodded.  He winked.  "Going for a run tomorrow?"

"Yes," Jack sighed.  "Quit being smug, Sheppard, or I'm going to make you clean all the White House heads with your toothbrush."

"Fine.  It's nice seeing you happy, sir."  He smiled.  "The guards are throwing absolute fits that we wouldn't let them come get you.  I pointed out that you had a whole military unit's worth of soldiers and Rosenburg.  They decided that wasn't enough."

"Yeah, well, the Ancient that had this idea....  I'd like to talk to."

"Cordelia?" Buffy called.  She appeared, giving her an odd look.  "Which crackhead higher up was it?"

"Um... one of their sort, not mine."  She waved and disappeared.  "Don't forget your celebration curse."

Buffy looked around then at Jack.  "Oh, yeah, I'm usually attacked at any celebration."

He snickered.  "I've had a number of those myself actually."  She smiled because he understood.  "Go eat pizza.  I'll see you tomorrow at eight?"

"I can do that."  She walked off.  She wasn't trying to catch attention but maybe they were staring because she was wrinkled and had been wearing this outfit for over a day now.

John nudged Jack, smiling.  "We'll make sure she gets to your jog on time."  He walked him off.  "So, an interfering Ancient.  Got any ideas?"

"No, not yet."

"Huh.  Well, Harris routinely swears at Janus, as in the God of Chaos.  Apparently some chaos people screwed with him in the past."

"That doesn't surprise me about Sunnydale in the least."  They got into the car.  The military guys got beamed back to the base for a night off.  "Anything else I need to hear?"

"The Russians are being fussy.  Our ambassador from them apologized for them being idiots in charge sometimes.  Wanted to know if they should restart their gate."  Jack shook his head quickly.  "We didn't think so either.  He wanted to talk to Landry too.  I arranged it."  He shifted, looking at him.  "The British ambassador was worried but sent over a 'good job' note earlier today.  Xander said he's switching Kamria out, even though she's going to college locally, because apparently she's had a stalker that she didn't want to talk about.  When he found out it apparently got fixed."

"Buffy and I think that he's got a post-combat problem," Jack said quietly.

"You're right but he's also got 'I'm fine' syndrome.  He's working through it.  I asked when he nearly had a fit on her earlier.  There's too many threats."

"He could use a vacation."

"He could use a girlfriend," John countered.  "But he dates things worse than I heard Adria was."

"Pity.  That might help him."

"Maybe."  They pulled into the White House.  "Here we are, sir, and we'll get Rodney to find some way to block out ascended.  If only so I don't have to hear how disappointed Miss Chase is that they left Xander in charge of something."

"See if you can find a way to banish her."

"I'll ask Dawn's husband."  They walked inside together.  "See, he's fine," he called.  The guards hurried out to join them.   "Someone get me McKay on the phone," he asked.  "We need him to block out the things that did that."  The head of the guards nodded, moving to call him.  Rodney showed up in a flash of light.  "Ancients."

"What happened to non-interference?" he demanded.

"No clue but apparently that was their version of a set up," Jack said.  "Not that they're wrong.  She's a pretty girl."

Rodney gaped, then smirked.  "Congratulations, O'Neill."

"Thanks, we'll see if it's premature though.  We haven't even dated yet."  He sat down with a sigh.  "So, any ideas?"

"We've been working on a shield to keep Rosenburg out of an area," he admitted.  "I can see if it'll work for this as well."  He drew out his idea.  John added a few things.  Rodney nodded, getting it compact enough to carry around if necessary.   He left to start building the prototype.

Jack relaxed, looking at his too-clean desk.  "You did all the paperwork?"

"Yeah.  It wasn't that much.  Half the stuff on the desk was notes, General."  He pointed at the rack on the sideboard.  "That's all your notes.  Oh, we're being asked about presidential libraries?"

"For......"

"All your papers, tapes, memos, all that stuff," the guard said.

Jack shook his head.  "It's all at the Pentagon for the most part and classified."

"You can donate it to a university instead, help them build a new wing on their library," the guard said.  "Since you're not going to have tapes like Nixon, emails and memos from everything and it's brother happening."

"I might do that.  Air Force Academy?" he suggested to John.

"Probably a more open university, sir.  Though we can see."

"Yeah, let's check into that," Jack agreed.  He stood up.  "Even with sleeping half the flight, I'm exhausted, guys."

"It's hard work being saved," John agreed.  "Have a good rest, sir."  Jack nodded, letting the guards follow him up to sit outside his room so he couldn't run away.  John smiled on his way back to his own residence.  It had been a long week.  He owed Rodney five bucks too because he had bet against it being something impossible that only O'Neill or Harris could get into.  This was going to be fun to watch.  Plus the chief of staff could get a new event to plan for.  Apparently the guy loved doing them.

And hey, now Jack would have a hostess for events.  No more joking John was the wife.

***

The new election night was here.  Jack was hiding with Buffy, eating nothing that contained any beef products.  It probably wasn't going to work but Buffy liked pasta anyway.  About ten o'clock, John walked in looking smug.  "I'm free?" Jack asked.

"Hell no but they can't do it to you again, sir.  This is your last term.  Welcome to being a lame duck."

"Thanks."

"Welcome."

"How much?"

"Slightly less than last time.  Mostly from the Republicans.  You won by 62 percent."

"Wow," Buffy said, smiling at him.  "Well, here's to four more years of dating?"  She held up her glass.

Jack looked at her.  "We can move forward."  She relaxed.

"The Chief of Staff *loves* events," John told her.  "He'll have a whole list of people to go see about an inauguration dress.  Plus the rest of the day's clothes."  He walked off happier.

"Some day we'll have to fix him up too," Jack told her.

"Maybe he and that Rodney guy should try?"

"I think they're just friends but he swears he likes women."

"Faith?"

"Do you think she could deal with all this stuffy stuff?"

"No, it'd drive her nuts.  It might drive me nuts."

"It does me too," Jack admitted.  He clinked glasses with her.  "You'll get to do some high fashion shopping," he teased.

"I have to check on the slayer clothing budget.  How many outfits do I need?"

"You can ask him tomorrow, Buffy."

"Okay."  She took his hand to hold, smiling at him.  He grinned back and they went back to eating.  "Does this mean you can eat steak again?"

"Yup.  They can't do it ever again."  He ate a bite.  "John should probably give up steak for a few years though."  She giggled.  "There are rumors."

"Will he be old enough?"

"Barely."

"So who'll he bring in as his VP?"

"Maybe Evan Lorne.  I don't know.  It depends on what's going on then."  He ate another bite, feeding her seconds.  She needed more food.  She smiled and dug in.  It was a good date night hiding from the reporters.

***

Dawn watched the tv, sighing.  "Buffy's going to be the wife of a president."

Sam moaned, shaking his head.  "Just don't ask us to go to the swearing in."

"Want to go to one of the balls?"

"Not really."

"Want to go get low and dirty in a club?" she offered.

"That I'd like more than a ball."  He smirked.  "Unless you want the fancy dress treatment?"

She moved closer.  "I think you'd look stunning in a tux, Sam, but poufy dresses aren't my thing."  She kissed him.

"Not this again," Connor complained as he walked in.  "I can't find a woman to do those things with, guys.  Quit showing off."  He pouted as he walked off.  Dean would agree with him.  "Dean, they're going at it on the couch again talking about poufy dresses."

Dean leaned out of the office.  "Why do you need a wedding dress, Sammy?"

"Jack got reelected.  Dawn was wondering about the balls."

"Eww.  Dawn!"

"Sorry!  This means my sister's going to marry a president.  There's going to be a *huge* wedding."

"You can go stag so we're out of the light of reporters," Sam assured her, giving her a kiss.  "Make sure Buffy knows you can help her shop."

"She'll have to clarify the dress budget with Giles."  She called him.  "Giles, it's Dawn.  O'Neill won reelection.  That means Buffy's got to have high fashion clothes for the swearing in."  She smiled.  "Exactly.  Yup, all that.  Gown and regular outfits.  Plus if there's going to be a wedding it's going to make news."  She laughed.  "I know it's expensive.  So talk to the woman.  Yes, this is fair warning we're going to shop.  I wonder if we can get Xander into it too."  She hung up on his shudder.  "He's having pains in his pocketbook again."

"I would too because you two can shop more than most girls."

"You should've seen Cordelia.  She was the queen sheepdog of the school.  Head cheerleader and all that."

Sam kissed her.  "If we're lucky enough to have kids, ours won't be cheerleaders.  Band maybe, maybe acting, but not cheerleading.  Or football."  She snuggled into his side.   "Do you want kids some year?"

"As long as it can be done safely," she said quietly.  "Though I'd rather have sons than risk having a slayer of our own."  She looked up at him.  He nodded he agreed.  She relaxed again.  "Do you want kids?"

"Some year maybe."  He gave her a cuddle.  It was nice that they liked a lot of the same things.  They could even be research nerds together.   That's what he was doing right now while she waited to see how horrible the local elections were.

***

Buffy walked into a shop with Dawn.  "I need dressing help," she told the worker.

"You look familiar."

"Buffy Summers."  She smiled.

"Oh, you're dating the president.  Yes, dear, you do need to dress a bit more upscale now and then.  Some of your skirts have been a bit...tiny."  She walked her into the back.  "What event are we shopping for or just general wardrobe needs?"

"The swearing in ceremony."  She'd ignore the slight to the rest of her clothes.  "I know people talk about those outfits.  I want to look classy but a bit more demure.  I know it's going to be cold that day so I'm wearing thick heels in case of ice or snow.  Are pants reasonable?"

"No," the cashier said, leading her to a nice collection.  "Whoever sent you here had excellent ideas."

Buffy looked.  "Those are really long."

"They'll be warmer," Dawn pointed out.  "Look at that blue one, Buffy."

She looked at it.  "That, some tights you think?  Nice neutral, match my shoes tights?"

"Where are you from originally, dear?"

"LA," she said with a smile.

"Oh, I see.  Hmm.  Well, I'm not sure that would really work for the fashionable side."  She held up a longer skirt.  "That would be both warm and demure."

Buffy felt it.  "Itchy.  I'll have to sit in it for hours."

"The swearing in usually takes about two or three hours but there's also the waiting beforehand.  So you'll want something warm for about four or five hours."

Willow strolled in and looked then at Buffy.  "You're dressing like me?"

"The Chief of Staff guy said demure and it'll be chilly."

Willow pulled out pictures.  "These are what other first ladies wore the last ten times."

Buffy looked the pictures over.  "They were mostly knee-length.  I like this one," she said, holding it up.

"I'm sure she got remarked on for that bold of a color," the clerk said.

Buffy sighed.  "Huh.  Dawn?"

"I like that look and it'll look good on you."  She looked around and found a dress.  "You'll have that tea afterwards.  Use this for that?"

Buffy nodded.  "That's cute.  Kind of old glam classy.  With Mom's necklace you think?"

"I think that'd be pretty," Willow agreed.  "Some cute shoes, hair done up?"

Buffy nodded.  "Okay, let's do that.  Thank you for helping me decide on some things," she told the clerk.  They bought that dress and went somewhere more her-ish.  That was old lady clothes.  She needed the mistress's clothing shop for cuter things that were more her age.   Then again, maybe she should hire someone who knew more about fashion.  She was still confused.  "I need a gown too.  It has to be spectacular so Jack gasps, but not trashy ho."

"You hear a few names being talked about," Dawn quipped.  "We can visit one of them."  She pulled out a fashion mag.  It was wondering what Buffy was going to wear too.  Buffy moaned, shaking her head.  "It has some ideas."  She let her see the article.

"I like some of their shirts," she agreed, heading for that shop.  It was definitely more her style of clothes.  She walked in and the girl smiled at her.  "Swearing in outfit?"

"I have *just* the outfit, Miss Summers."  She led her to a few choices.  "Any of these, you can dress up with a good jacket, blazer or cute jackety sort of jacket."  Buffy relaxed and smiled.  "If you need to add more layers for warmth, add this sort of jacket to either of the blue skirts.  Add this one," she said, pointing at another one, "for the other one."  Buffy tried them on, letting them decide on the baby blue one with the black jacket if necessary.  A slightly darker silk shirt would be warm.  They talked shoes and tights, agreeing with her choice of flats or low heels and warm, neutral tights.  Buffy left happier and had a good recommendation for who would do her form proud for the ballgown she'd need.

Buffy got back to the White House a few hours later, after a lunch date with her sister.  The guards all smiled at her carrying bags.  She walked into the Chief of Staff's office, handing over pictures. "Good?"

He looked through them, smiling at her.  "Very good.  Tights?"  She nodded.  "Did you get a jacket with that one outfit?"

"Yup, just in case."  She showed it to him.

"That'll go very well.  A simple jacket overtop of it and you'll be fine.  Gloves?"  She held them up.  He smiled.  "Good job.  So that leaves the ballgown, right?"

"The lady at the second place gave me who I should see.  The first place was dowdy, old woman clothes."

"True, sorry."  He smiled.  "Jack's in a meeting."

"That's cool.  I got him two new dress shirts.  That way he's not stuck and he can wear whatever suit he wants."  She held them up.

"Good job.  Go drop them on Chuck."

"Okay."  She walked off, letting Dawn wave.  "You're not Chuck," she told the person in Chuck's chair.

"Who're you?" he sneered.

"I'm dating him," she said sarcastically.  She looked at the guard.

"He's in with General Landry, Buffy.  This one's from the secretarial pool for the day."

"That's cool."  She handed over the shirts.  "He said he needed a new dress shirt.  Tell him I've got everything but the ballgown.  We know who we're talking to about that, and I'll be stunningly pretty yet slightly demure so no one else tells me my skirts are too short."  He stifled a snicker.  "Seriously.  Anyway, this is my sister."  She pointed.  "Dawn."

"Hi," she said with a smile and a wave.  "My husband refuses to show up for anything because he doesn't want attention."

"Good to know, ma'am.  Are you showing up for the swearing in?"

"Nope.  If there's a huge wedding you'll only get me."

Buffy looked at her.  "No!  No huge wedding!  Celebration curse!"

"Good point.  Okay, well, small, out of the way wedding you might get both of us as long as there's no reporters."

Jack opened the office door.  "Hell no, no big wedding, Dawn."  He looked at the temp.  "Who're you?"

"Secretarial pool, sir.  Chuck's off for a doctor's appointment today."

"Oh, okay."  He took the shirts and a kiss on the cheek with a smile.  "Thank you.  All done?"

"The really important dress tomorrow."

"Good.  Wedding?"

"She mentioned it, not me.  Yell at Dawn."

Jack looked at her.  "Quiet, out of the way, no press, so you can talk Sam into coming."  Dawn beamed.  Buffy gasped, staring at him.  He smirked.  "Some year soon."  She nodded, smiling at that.  Dawn was snickering.  "Okay.  Go do girl things, ladies."  They rushed off together.  Jack looked at the temp.  "Yes, if she wants to talk to me and I'm not doing something important, she gets me."  He walked back inside.  "She saved me shopping."

"I'm happy for you," Hank Landry said dryly.  "Is she picking out your suit too?  You can't really wear the same one."

"Don't remind me.  Still, it's easier than a ballgown."

"True, and you'd look very strange in one."  The guard shut the door again, shaking his head to clear that image out.  Jack and Hank both snickered at that.  It was fun to watch the headaches.

Hank finally got up.  "I'll let you do the important things, like shop."  He left, going back to his base.   Things were going good right now.  He wanted to keep it that way.

Jack grimaced but found his suit shop's address and then their phone number.  "It's Jack O'Neill," he said in greeting.  He had been passed onto a manager.  They knew him there.  "Yes, I need something new for the swearing in," he sighed.  "When's a good time to show up?"  He took that down.  "That'll work.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Blinky, we're going to the suit shop at four," he called.

"The Japanese ambassador is going to be here then," he called back.

"He can come help me find a suit.  He has better taste in suits since he wears them all the time."

"Good point, sir."  He got John's assistant to warn the ambassador of that change of meeting place.  That way he was prepared to offer fashion advice.  Though it was cute how Miss Summers and the general jogged together every two days.  It kept him in very good shape, and her too.

***

Jack saw Buffy before the swearing in.  She looked adorably old fashioned.  He grinned.  "Pretty."

"Thank you."  She adjusted his tie for him then kissed him on the cheek.  "Don't trip.  Don't shoot anyone."

"Fine, take my fun," he sighed.

She nodded.  One of the guards led her to her seat.  The ones around her gave her an odd look.  She smiled back.  "You must be John's brother.  You look like him.  Buffy Summers."

"Miss Summers," he said, smiling and shaking her hand.  "Nice to meet you.  I am John's brother actually."  He grinned.  "Very nicely done."

"Thank you.  I plotted for weeks over this outfit."  He chuckled.  "You guys have it so much easier."  The shindig was starting and she had to pay attention.  It wasn't every day her boyfriend got sworn in as the President.  She saw one of the guards stiffen and mentally started to chant 'please no demons today' over and over.  No, it turned out to be two women who threw themselves at John.  His brother cracked up at that.  She grinned at him too.  He shrugged and made a pithy quip, letting things get done again.  Finally they got out of the cold and headed in to go to the tea.  Buffy changed in the office bathroom.  Jack got out of his jacket.  John did the same.  Buffy grinned.  "Surrounded by prettiness."

Jack looked at her dress.  "You bought that at the frumpy shop, didn't you?"

"Yes, but they were trying to be helpful."  She turned.  "Tie me in?"  He tightened the straps for her, making it look much better.  Definitely less than frumpy with the corset vest over it.  He nodded that looked prettier and they walked out with him on her arm.  They weathered the pictures being taken.  Buffy turned her head when someone shouted a question.  "What?"

"Are you going to redecorate anything in the White House, Miss Summers?"

"That was more my mother's thing than mine.  Even if I end up living there I'll probably only change the towels and which closet is his."  She smiled and they walked on.  "Why would I redecorate?"

"A lot of first ladies have," Jack said with a small shrug.

"I think we can wait on me decorating anything."

"Maybe," Jack agreed.  "But I could use some help anyway."

She smiled, patting him on the wrist.  "I can help if you ask."  He smiled back.  "Though that was still more my mother's thing than mine."

"Dawn?"

"Doesn't live in one place any longer so she's living out of two suitcases.  I couldn't do it most of the time; I need a home base.  Traveling some is fine but I have to make it home to a real tub now and then."

"That's the best way to do it," Jack agreed.  "Usually I live in a nice cabin, by a lake."

She grinned.  "Sounds quiet."

"Usually."  They sat down and were served tea and little sandwiches.  He leaned closer.  "After this, a real dinner before the ball?" he hissed.

She giggled.  "You're on.  Steak so we can taunt John?"

"Hey," John complained from his seat.  "I can eat steak."

"That'll mean you're getting it next," Buffy teased.

"Good point.  No steak for me then."  He went back to his little sandwiches.  After this, he was definitely eating real food.   Manly food that didn't get cut into tiny shapes.  Ones with meat before he farted out the cucumbers.  His brother was there so at least he had someone to talk to since Jack was cooingly cute at Buffy.  It was fun to watch but also a bit...gagging.  Rodney would *so* snark at this.

***

Xander watched the inauguration stuff with the other girls, who were all cooing over how good Buffy looked.  It was cute.  The entertainment shows had a lot to say about her outfits.  Especially the ballgown that was flimsy yet structural enough to enhance, and the perfect shade of pink.  He hoped Jack liked pink because he was going to be seeing a lot of it soon.  "We should make cards for when they finally get married," he told them.  They grinned and did that, and a few wrote her emails about how cute she looked.

"I'm so glad I don't have to do something like that," one joked.

"Sheppard's still single," Xander quipped.  They all sighed at that information, getting teenage girl looks.

Faith leaned in.  "Wow, B has boobs in that dress," she said dryly.  "Clearly the wonder in wonderbra."  She walked off shaking her head.

"We might have to prepare for a wedding."

"I'll make the emergency plans for when we're attacked," Faith quipped.  "You start stockpiling the weapons."

"I should check them, yeah," Xander agreed, going to do that.  He was happy for Buffy.  This one, finally, he wouldn't have to threaten.  Now if only Willow got off her ass and asked Sam Carter out.

***

Two weeks later, Jack knocked on Buffy's door.  "Pack.  We're going to my cabin for the weekend."

"Chilly?"

"Yup."

"Should I bring a dress?"

He paused.  "If you have one you like a whole lot," he offered.

She looked at him.  "ET has been ragging on you."

"I heard.  Yeah, bring a dress."  She smirked and pulled one out, putting the other clothes in the same dress bag.  "Shoes?"

"Already in there.  Wearing sneakers now.  Should I change?"

He looked her over, shaking his head.  "You look good in those jeans.  They're nice on you."  She grinned, following him down to the car once she had the door locked.  The driver put the bag in the trunk and they were away, away from DC for a whole weekend of quiet!

***

Xander, Dawn, and Willow helped Buffy get ready.  For some reason Xander was doing her hair for her.  Surprisingly, he was doing a decent job today.  "We taught you well," Willow teased.

"When are you going to get off your butt and ask Sam out?" he countered with an evil smirk.

"She doesn't like girls," she said quietly.

"Aww," Dawn said, sniffling a bit as she hugged her.  "It'll be okay."

"I know.  I'll find someone nice very soon."  They got Buffy ready and then looked at themselves.  Willow got them clothes to change into and they walked out.  Buffy got walked down by Giles.  There weren't any attendants, only a few team members and very close friends.  Faith was waiting on her side. A few of the slayers she liked a lot.  Overhead a helicopter was trying but Willow started to growl.  "I know," she said when Cam gave her a dirty look.  "I'm not."  They relaxed again.

"I'm thinking anti-aircraft missile personally," Jack quipped.  Xander pulled out his phone, going through his phonebook.  "Harris, I can borrow from the base."

"I didn't think they'd have anything that mundane," he quipped with a grin, putting his phone back.  Behind them, John Sheppard got beamed in and sat down.

Jack looked at the general who was licensed to marry people.  "Can you?"

"Of course."  He opened the book he held to get to the pamphlet, starting off the short, to the point ceremony.  Then there was real food but not steak.

***

Jack came back and was ambushed by reporters on the lawn.  "What?" he demanded.  "I just got back from vacation, people.  Chill."

"Did anything else happen?" one called.  "We heard rumors of John Sheppard leaving DC as well."

"No comment," Jack called.  "Really."  They hurried inside, him shaking his head.  One of the new guys tried to stop her but Jack glared and he backed down.  "Thank you."  He walked into his Chief of Staff's office.  "How long before they have to know?"

"Six hours ago.  One of the soldiers in Landry's unit spilled that he was off-base for a wedding.  They knew it was yours or Sheppard's by the way you both left.  Congratulations by the way."  Buffy grinned.  "Yes, you can change the towels, the sheets, or the curtains in your apartment.  Any other room has to be more historical.  There's a committee for that."

"There's a committee to buy toilet paper," John said from behind them.  "Really, there is.  They were arguing Charming vs Quilted Northern the other day."  He went to his office.  "Okay, what happened?  Suddenly I have a zen garden."  His assistant came running to explain that one of his friends had redecorated.  "I guess that's fine.  Teyla was trying to be helpful."  Jack walked past snickering.  "Should I leak a wedding picture?"

"Please don't," Buffy complained.

"Fine."  He smirked at her back.  "Don't worry, your rooms are soundproofed if you're as wild as Dawn and Sam."  He fled before Jack could glare.

"I'm too old for that," Jack complained.

"I did not take the same lessons from Anya Dawnie did," she said.  "I never learned how to ruin backs.  I learned more that guys don't expect me to do a lot."

He smirked.  "We'll see."  He checked his desk then pulled her up to their new rooms.

"Yup, I'm definitely changing the sheets.  No flowers or anything but the color doesn't go with the walls."

"I don't care.  Make them soft."  He kissed her.

"Soft is good," she agreed, taking another one.

The guards outside the room sighed in displeasure about a half hour later but it's not like they'd wake anyone up.  They did have to not laugh at the 'wow, my last boyfriends were pathetic next to you; I knew a real man was better at it' that she let out finally.

Unhappy, Bouncy Information Spikes.

Jack looked at the press secretary a few weeks later.  "What did you say?"

"I joked that the other presidents had a harder job because of diplomatic problems but they were all too scared of you to screw with us."  He shifted on his feet.  "I said it in a bar, not in front of the press, sir."

"We do still have some enemies you know."

"I know, sir."

"They're now very pissed off from what I'm told."

"I'm sorry, sir."

Jack sighed.  "No more.  Just... no more."

"I'll resign, sir.  You need someone you can trust to talk up the good points and ignore the bad.  I put my foot in my mouth for the second time."

Jack stared at him for a minute.  "I didn't ask."

"I know, sir."

"Then why pick now?"

"To be honest, I've been getting some sweet offers from a PR firm up in New York that's about double what you make a year."

"That is sweet," Jack admitted.  "Were you going to take it before this?"

"Next month actually."

"Fine.  Was this an intentional foot-in-the-mouth issue?"

"No, sir.  I swear it wasn't.  It was a joke I told in the bar."

"Fine, announce it, find your replacement."

"Yes, sir.  Thank you."  He went to draft his resignation speech and figure out who would take his place.  If there was a small lag, he might get Buffy to do it.  She liked people.  She liked to chat.  So maybe.

"Don't even think about it," Jack called as he walked off.

"Sorry, sir, I won't conspire to make your wife deal with reporters."

"Thank you," Jack called.

Buffy walked in.  "They gave me a cutesy name, Jack."

"Inky, Blinky, and all the other guards do that, Buffy.  We all have one and it changes every few months."

"Damn."  She sat down.  "Tan sheets, t-shirt cotton so very soft and hard to tear.  Two new throw pillows, one new set of sheers since that one had holes, and a new blanket because you're chilly at night."

He smiled.  "You can decorate if you want.  I do make a decent salary right now," he said dryly.

"I'm all the way happy with things, Jack.  I don't really know how to decorate."  He grinned.  "Do I get someone to tell me when I have to dress up and smile at people who want to gut me for snaring you?"

"An assistant?  If you want.  There's stuff the first lady usually does."

"I heard.  I don't like flowers."  He laughed.  "I don't," she pouted.  "I kill plants."

"So don't join the garden club.  If you tell them you kill plants I'm sure they'll understand."  She smiled at him.  "As for the other stuff, someone wanted to know if you supported any charities?"

"Many.  I like animals.  I like books, because my sister's a nerd.  And my watcher's a nerd.  I like art, Mom's gallery was very good at teaching me modern art.  The Smithsonians are cool.  I spent days hanging out in them."

"They're having a dinner soon," the Chief of Staff said as he walked in.  "We can get you tickets.  No one will need a speech."  Jack nodded at that.  "It'll be that or going to the Russian embassy for dinner."

"Borscht, yuck," Buffy muttered.

"They're more likely to serve fire roasted meat dishes," the Chief of Staff told her.  "And drinks."

"I don't drink.  Buffy on beer turned caveslayer Buffy.  We're not going back there."

"That's a story I want to hear," Jack said dryly.

"Ask Xander.  I don't remember it."  She looked at him.  "Do I get a wonder assistant like Chuck who will tell me what I have to wear and how long or short my skirt can be?"

"I've already picked you out a very good social secretary, she's from a society family so she understands the skirt issue, and yes, she can help you shop."  She grinned at him.  "All shopping comes out of his budget."

"Giles will be very pleased he doesn't have to pay for it."

"Probably, yes.  I have a list of charities other first ladies have championed."  He handed it over.  "And a list of upcoming possible events you can go to."  He handed that over.

She looked at that first.  "DAR?"

"Daughters of the American Revolution."

"So, really old?" she guessed.

"Descendants," he assured her.  "But yes, mostly middle aged."

"Any nice ones about my age?"

"The Peace Corps one is going to have some of the volunteers.  For that, you might want to ask Xander if he knows any of them and wants to go."  She nodded, making that note.  "Do you want to go?"  She shook her head.  "There's an upcoming candlelight vigil to highlight spousal abuse."

"I can go to that.  No speaking?  Because I don't do it very good."

"No, no speaking.  You can show up at that without warning or planning. The guards would consider that safer."  She snorted, giving him a look.   "There is a program that's designed to help inner city children go to the gym after school instead of the front stoop."

"I like that one," Jack agreed.  "Did we agree to fund it higher?"

"The budget is still being debated."

"Cut their paychecks, they'll get it fixed really quickly," she quipped.  "And take away their raise this year too."

Jack nodded.  "That's not a horrible idea."  He looked at his Chief of Staff.  "Anything else notable on the schedule?"

"Two senators throwing dinners.  They sent formally correct invitations they don't expect you to really want to answer.  One UN dinner that you should go to.  A visit by the Spanish royal family."  Buffy smiled.  "You can borrow jewelry for that.  Speaking of, I got asked about your ring by some other staffers."

"I can't decide," Jack admitted.

"I don't need something huge that'll get me Buffy-jacked," she said dryly.  "Something nice, simple, won't get caught if I have to fight."

"That narrows it down to two.  Want plain diamonds or a pink diamond?"

She smiled.  "I love pink but it's more expensive and I can't let you do that.  Giles told me they're too expensive for Buffys."

"Not that expensive," Jack admitted.  He pulled it out of his desk drawer and tossed it over.  "I thought you'd go for that one."  He went back to his paperwork.  "Anything else I should hear, have John stomp on to stop the politics of, or anything like that?"  Buffy let out an awesome squeal and pounced him, knocking his chair back into the windows.  "I take it you like it?" he teased, putting it on her hand.

"Oh, my God, I sound like Dawn, but I love it."  She kissed him.  "Thank you, Jack.  Love you."

"Love you too, Buffy."  He patted her back, earning a smirk from his staffer.  "The press secretary is finding his replacement."

"I've been looking.  I'll give him my short list.  Thai embassy?"

"Will they mind if we belch?" Buffy asked.

"Yes.  We'll give you medicine for that," he promised.   "A full dinner to welcome the royals?"  Jack moaned but nodded.  "At least now you have a hostess so John isn't tempted into putting on a dress and heels again, sir."  He walked off.

"He'd look really bad in most dresses.  Not enough boobs."  She kissed him again and got off his lap, giving him a flirty look.  "Dinner in tonight?"

"I had nothing to do anyway," he said casually.

She winked.  "I went to Viccie's for the new stuff."  She walked off.

Jack got back to his paperwork.  He'd go up for lunch in about a half-hour.  When she had fluffed herself up for him.

John leaned in.  "I heard a squeal and the guards complained that you were going to break a window."

"I finally picked her ring."

"Ah."

"Royals are coming soon."

"Yay," he said flatly.  "Thanks for the warning.  Brits?"

"Spanish."

"Maybe more lively then."  He went to look them up online.  Jack got a text and decided to take an early lunch.  That was so cute it was gagging and he shared it with Rodney to make him puke too.  He needed some snark time today.

***

John was stopped by some reporters the next time he was out for dinner with some friends he had made in town at the Pentagon.  "What?" he asked, sighing at the end.

"Colonel, are you thinking about running for president when the general's done?"

"Nope.  I'm thinking I'm going back to my old post and I'm going to fade into obscurity."  He smiled as he walked around them.  "Thanks for asking though."  He hurried back to his friends.  They'd protect him from reporters.

The reporters took that story and went with it.  Maybe they could get him to change his mind?  After all, the General's campaign was the most successful, low key, non-politicking campaign there had ever been.  The Colonel would appreciate that probably.

***

John walked into the 'royal suite' as he called it.  "Get in the dress before I have to wear it," he called.  He and Buffy had become friends since she had married into the group six months earlier.

"Geez, Mr. Mean, give me time to finish my hair," she called.  She stuck her head out of the bedroom.  "I only got back ten minutes ago."  She closed the door and went back to her fussy, non-working hair.  Finally she put it up and then slid into her dress, coming out to let him zip her up and help her with her necklace while she put on her shoes. "Jack send you?"

"He got waylaid by a problem message that came from South America."  He looked her over.  "Do your hair," he complained.  "Before they nag you in the press for weeks."

"It won't do anything today."  The valet came in.  "Jacques, can you do hair?"

"No, ma'am."  He got one of the cleaning girls who always had nicely done hair.  She fixed that travesty of a hairstyle quickly and they could go.  He shook his head.  "Why does she wear so much pink?" he muttered.  The cleaning girl just giggled.  "She does."

"She looks nice in most of them."

"Point.  Most first ladies still wear more than one color though.  Plus it's hard to keep it from fading."  He went to clean up her mess in the dressing area.  Including turning off the curling iron she left on in the bathroom.  He wasn't used to such fussy, fashionable women.

***

Buffy and Jack got cornered on their jog by a few reporters.  "Mrs. O'Neill, what do you say to those reports that you and Colonel Sheppard are a bit too close?" one called.

"Eww!  He's like my brother," she called.   She glared.  "I have a wonderful man, why would I want to trade to a younger version who might be weaker in the manly areas?"  Jack snorted, shaking his head.  "Beyond that, he's like my brother.  He teases me about my hair, buys me chocolate to tease Jack with, that stuff.  I'd never date him.  It'd be like dating Xander or something.  Eww."  She nodded and they took the next corner, going off their usual route.  That street was sealed for pavement work so they could jog down it but the news van couldn't join them.  "What started that?"

"Who knows," Jack complained.  "He bought you that chocolate you teased me with?"

"Yup.  He said I needed chocolate to be bouncy so I could take your mind off Peru."  He snickered, nodding at that.  It had been a fine mind clearing.  She grinned at him.  "He bought me some godiva last night because he was pouty over his last date and needed a sympathy eating buddy."

"That's cool.  I like how you two act like siblings.  He can take you places if I'm not there due to stupid stuff."

She grinned.  "I'd probably skip if I had to."  He shot her a grin and they turned onto another street.  "Ten thousand laps in the pool instead since that's the NBC news van up there?"

"Yup," Jack decided.  They changed direction and took an alley back to the main street with the pathway back to the White House.  They had to jog past Congress but that was fine.  Jack paused to look.  "Is that a hole in the roof with the branch in it?" he asked.

The guard looked and nodded.  "I'll mention that to the Chief of Staff to have him find someone, sir."

"Thanks, Blinky."  They jogged on and made it back home to go play in the gym and the pool.  Buffy was a good swimmer and she did look good in that bikini.

***

John walked into the press room during the daily briefing.  "Who started the rumor I'm making her cheat on Jack?" he asked, staring around the room.

"A few of the gossip reporters have noticed you're able to tease her and get her to smile, sir," one said, sounding sheepish.

"Well, stop it.  She's like my sister, people.  Really.  I'd never go for someone taken."  He walked off shaking his head.

"Fercryin'out loud, John, don't make the rumors worse," Jack called from up the hall.  "They'll grow up and find real news sometime soon."

"As you can tell, this is upsetting the Colonel even though the general is laughing it off.  So you can quote him to stop that."  The press secretary went back to the briefing.   Things were insane in the O'Neill white house some days.  All they needed were aliens.  He wished the news people would find something else to talk about sometime soon.

***

A few weeks later Buffy rushed into the office, turning on the tv, changing it off CNN.  "Your people have problems."

Jack watched the news story about the Russian general who had been forcefully retired and had given an interview that mentioned stargates, aliens, and him personally.  "Aw, crap!  John!"  He came in to watch the interview.  "Get me the full tape."  John nodded, going to get it for him.  He looked at her.  "Which show is that?"

"E! news."

"This is an entertainment news show?" he asked.  She nodded.  "Crap."  He called Landry.  "Turn on E! news," he said then hung up.   John came in with a copy of the full interview.  "Who had it?"

"Our press secretary pulled some strings to get a full copy of it."  He let him play it.  It was, of course, in Russian.  Fortunately Jack spoke it well enough.

Buffy grimaced.  "They left out a lot of the more interesting bits.  You know Thor?"

"Yup," Jack sighed.  "He's gone too."  He kept going, his stomach knotting up.  "Crap.  It mentions the city, John."

John nodded with a sigh at the end.  "Double shit."  He walked off to call Evan and warn him.  "It's me.  Turn on E! news.  Russian general."  He hung up.  They'd find it and swear all on their own.  He walked back into the office.  Jack had his head down and Buffy was rubbing his neck for him.  "At least they didn't provide any proof," he said quietly.

"Yeah he did.  He just showed pictures on the interview," she said, running it back for him.  He whimpered at the pictures.  That one had him too.  "Shit," she muttered.  "It'll make the flap over demons seem tame."  They both nodded.  "At least they're not going to say that you guys were endangering the world and things."

"No, we opened it and found an enemy waiting," Jack admitted.  "Then ran into another one."

"Who reminds me a lot of Oral Roberts and his sort," John quipped.  "Plus mine had people eating ones."

"Eww," she said.

"Basically."  He sighed, slumping at the part about the 'fantastic city of the ancients' and that it was in San Francisco harbor according to a scientist who had served there.  "We're in so deep."

Jack looked up.  "We can deny."

"We can spin this to make the project look better and more sane than it was some days," John countered.  "If we deny they'll spill more.  This way we can control things."

"Can we have the Russian ambassador beat his guy?"

"Yup," they said in unison.  "John, get me the Joint Chiefs and the Press Secretary.  Maybe the Chief of Staff too."

She kissed him on the temple.  "I'm going to read in bed," she said quietly.  "Come up when you can and I'll give you a backrub."  He smiled weakly but nodded.  She left him alone to manage this important coming out.  This was going to be bigger news than John announcing he wanted to date Rodney would be.  She waved at the generals when they walked past her.  "Don't give him too much of a headache, guys.  He's already reaching for the stuff Xander found him."

The first general in smiled.  "Your wife is concerned your brain's going to explode?"

"It will for this."  He reran the tape.  "I know you guys have some knowledge due to staffing."

They all stared.  The Chief of Staff and one of the interpreters walked in to go over what he was saying.  The press secretary came in to take notes on what needed to be put out there.  Hank Landry got brought in too.  Chuck got them snacks so they could eat and mumble dirty words into the sandwiches instead of out loud.  By ten the next morning they had a good idea of what to do and Jack finally got to bed.  Where his wife pampered him silly and gave him a blow job to make him forget about aliens and bad reporters.

***

John was on his own run when one of the reporters decided to do a drive by questioning.  "Sir, is the reason you don't like to bother your guards because you've faced down a gou'ald?" she called.

"No, I was on the city, sorry."  He smirked.  "Wraith are worse than any terrorist."  They changed direction.  That was not subtle, but it worked for his style more.  Plus they had no information on the wraith.  They needed to get that out slightly to start preparing things for an attack.  The gou'ald were no longer a threat.  The Ori and wraith were a huge one.  Though he still wanted to put a prior in a room with the biggest evangelical telepreacher and see who won.

"Wraith?" his guard asked.

"They put a hand on your chest and suck out your life force.  Hurts like a bitch the whole time."

"Do you know from personal experience?" he asked.

"No comment," he said with a dirty look.  "Still more classified than you think."

"Yes, sir."  He'd ask his boss those questions.  That sounded like something they'd have to guard against.

John looked at him.  "If they get that close to earth, I'm going to be back on my city, in space, in a battle."

"Good to know, sir."

"Jack may be in Antarctica in an Ancient defense chair."  They finished their run at John's house, letting him shower, change, and go to the Senate to watch the fallout from the weekend's revelations.  A few gave him awed looks.  A few gave him dirty looks.  They were the same ones that gave anything about demons huffy looks so he was ignoring them.

One of them stepped up to him.  "Prove aliens are real."

He stared at him then took off his shirt, pointing at the scar.  "Wraith feeding while I was captured by another group of aliens who wanted nuclear weapons."  The guy went pale and stared then whimpered.  "They're not here yet and we've been preparing for an attack for twelve years now.  Between Jack and I, we have fought most of those years.  Jack was on the original project.  I got pulled in after being in Antarctica."  He put back on his shirt and tucked it in.  "Any other questions?"  He shook his head, going to his seat.   John sat down, looking around.  "Some of that is still classified information, people.  Let's move onto the real business of today.  I open this session of the senate."  He banged his gavel and sat down.  Sometimes senators were worse than debutantes and reporters.

One senator from Alabama stood up.  "I forward a motion to open a hearing into this Stargate program."

"Seconded," a few voices called.

John stared at him.  "We're under military authority and an oversight board, people.  None of you have a classification rating high enough to hear more than the basic facts than are being revealed.  It was presidential eyes only for over a decade."

"The people of this country deserve the right to know if you got us in more trouble," the senator from Alabama said firmly.  "There's no telling what you brought down on us, Sheppard."

John stared at him.  "What makes you think they didn't know we were already here?"  The senators gasped, almost in unison.  "There have been three major threats.  We have ended one, which had been on earth in the past, during ancient history.  We spent most of the first decade at war with them.  My project was refinding a lost city that the Ancients had built, and in doing so we discovered why they fled it.  They were losing a war with the wraith.

"They don't know where earth is.  We're not sure if they can spread this way or not but we're prepared in case they do show up.  The other is like fundamentalist preachers who like to kill people who won't convert.  Them, they found us by accident.  Someone turned on a machine and it let them know.  We've been fighting them for a few years and have been doing a damn good job by the skin of our teeth."  John stared the senator down.  "Even if you got your hearing, you wouldn't be there because you're not rated to hear things that classified."

"Were you on another planet?" he demanded.

"I've been on about thirty other planets, maybe as many as fifty.  I quit counting in there."  The senator swallowed.  "Anything else that's not classified you want to talk about?"

"How many has the President been on?"

"None since he took office.  Before then he was one of our top first contact team members.  He's the one that brought back information about the gou'ald.  He's the one that did a lot of the fighting and leading of the battles against them."

"Who is currently running that?"

"General Landry."

"And the city?"

"I am."  He smirked.  "There's an oversight board member in place, a chief scientist, and me in charge.  I get back there about three days a week right now.  We have a lot of bored geeks doing fantastic things that they're slowly feeding back to the regular population."

"So you're not hoarding it?" he asked.

"No.  Things that benefit humanity are let out at an appropriate rate so we don't shock and horrify anyone.  Don't move things ahead too fast."

"Who is the chief science officer?" he demanded.

"Classified."

"American?"

"Canadian.  We're a multi-national science corps.  Mostly American soldiers, some Brits in there but the city is almost all American and so is the Mountain."  He leaned back in his seat.  "You still won't get the hearing you want.  There's much too much that's classified."

"Those aliens the Russian General had pictures of?" he asked.

"Ask the general that.  He took Thor fishing once."  He shrugged.  "They were allies.  They've since died out."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because it was that or let themselves be overtaken by an old enemy from what I read in a briefing.  I wasn't part of the program then."

"How did you get involved?"

"I was at McMurdo doing my calming down time after a bad mission had gotten worse, so I punched a commanding officer for doing that to me."  He smirked.  "I got to fly choppers in the Antarctic for six months, then the general came down to the outpost we found down there.  It turns out that there's a genetic switch in some of the machines they left and I have a fairly strong version of the key.  That's how I ended up on my city."

"What is the name of the city?"

"Atlantis."

He gaped.  "As in the lost city of?" he demanded.  John smiled and nodded.  "Why can't we see it?"

"Still classified, and shielded.  We've been expanding the science contingent on her to study some of the things that we haven't found enough power to run before we turn it on."

The senator stared at him.  "I demand to see it."

"Then you'd want to go get a security rating at least above a nineteen, Senator.  I don't think anyone in here has one.  I know one senator has seen it since it was back.  He's the IOA rep."  He pointed at him.  "Ask him."

"Atlantis is very pretty," he agreed, standing up.  "He's right, you don't have the classification to know this.  It's far above your meager one, Senator.  The only reason I know is because I was chosen to sit on the IOA board, which is the stargate program's oversight board."  A few others talked.  "The last president picked me and I retired to sit on it.  I came back during the emergency and plan on retiring again as of this next election."  He looked at John.  "Is the IOA being kept?"

"Only if I can punt a few," John said bluntly.  "Some of you are okay, some of you are dangerous to the universe."

He smirked back.  "So we've heard, and I must say, very good job against the wraith, Colonel.  You did an outstanding job on Atlantis.  I've wanted to say that openly for years."  John nodded and smiled at that compliment.  "You don't get fully open records in any war, Bob.  You won't in this one either.  There's going to be things that are staying classified.  If that general hadn't talked, you still wouldn't know unless an attack happened."  He sat down.  "Can we get on with normal business now?"

"Definitely," John said, staring at that senator.  "You are done?"

"For now," he said, sitting down.  "I still want a hearing and I demand a vote on that call."

"Fine.  You still won't be in attendance, senator, because you're not cleared to know some of this."

"The people deserve to know."

"They will know what it's safe for them to know.  What they need to know to prepare in case a battle does happen in this solar system.  We've been releasing that slowly all weekend.  You want classified things that won't ever be released.  All you'll get is a lot of 'I cannot answer that question due to the classified nature of the mission'.  That will waste taxpayer money and time.  Trust me, we're opening the project more than we feel comfortable with because it might panic people."  He stared him down.  "Do you still want to call for a money wasting hearing?"

"I'll hear what's going to be released and then call for one," he sneered.

"That's up to you but you still won't get the answers you want."  He banged his gavel.  "Motion removed.  Let's go to real business, people."  They got back to the real work of congress, trying to fix things that were only partially broke.

***

Jack walked into the press room.  It had to be done before people tried to dig further.  "I feel like Clinton out here only I never smoked pot," he said blandly, getting a few laughs.  He held up a folder.  "This is the information packet on things that can be released to the people immediately.  The basics of the program, what we have already leaked out to help people, the nature of the old threat and the newest two in vague details since they're not here."  He put it down.  "The packet is available from the press secretary's office."

He looked around.  Buffy had helped him write this speech.  Which he didn't want to give.  "I know people are panicking about the stereotype of aliens kidnaping people, doing anal probes, all that.  I've met many aliens.  I've never been probed in my life.  The little Roswell looking aliens?  They were the Asgard.  They decided to die instead of letting their technology and their planet fall into the hands of another species.  Their commander, Thor, was a very good friend.  I even took him fishing."

A few snickered at that.  "Yes, the stargate program is real.  It has been running for thirteen years now since it first was opened.  There was a year lag in there before it officially got restarted."  He looked around again.  "I have served this planet faithfully protecting everyone from all sorts of threats.  From nanotechnology beings like the replicators, to the gou'ald, which the general nicely told you all about, to the Ori."

He glanced down then at them again.  "We have lost a lot of very good soldiers fighting this war.  Unfortunately a lot of them could not be brought home for proper burial.  Their families could not be told more than they died honorably in combat.  I wish it had been different but it was decided by the president over it then that it would panic people to know that we had an ancient enemy that had been on earth back in the time of the pharos."

Someone raised their hand.  "No questions yet," Jack said.  He looked at the rest of them again.  "As of this moment, I have decided that opening the project a bit more is in order to calm down any panic that might be forming.  I know some people are worried about things coming down on us.  I know that some people are willing to grab a shotgun, get in their trucks, and go mount a stand.  There's no need of either.

"The current two threats we have, the Ori and the wraith, are not from this galaxy.  The Ori are trying and pushy.  We've fought them back many times and have nearly ended that threat for good.  A few of their ships still exist and a few priors are still out there burning whole towns if they don't convert to their ways.   We're ending them as we find them.  The other, the wraith, are in the Pegasus galaxy.  The city the general talked about, Atlantis, was there.  John Sheppard was one of the brave soldiers who went looking for it so we can better defend ourselves.  We lost a lot of very good soldiers out there, nearly half of all that went.  We mourn them every day."

He tapped his earpiece.  "Drop it."  He let it go.  "The shield around Atlantis is now down so everyone can see how pretty she is."  He smiled.  "You still can't visit because it's got classified projects and we're learning a lot from her systems.  The Ancients who built her fought against the wraith and ended up abandoning her when they decided they couldn't win the war.  We are not like that.  If the wraith show up anywhere we can get to, they're going to be destroyed.  When you read over them, you'll see that they eat people's life force."  He cleared his throat.  "We're still keeping a good bit classified.  The general public does not need to know the soldiers there, who fought in what battle, what each battle was or where.  Like any war, you're not going to get that."

One reporter stood up.  "You said there's technological advances, general.  Have we seen any?"

"Yes, including some new power applications, some new plants, herbs, food products, mechanical systems.  The planes that guard us all are a hybrid of Asgard and our technology."  She sat down.  "We worked with our allies and learned from what we were having to take down to make ourselves better able to protect everyone."

"Do we have actual space ships?" another one asked.

Jack smiled and nodded.  "Yes, we have three major space battleships right now.   We had a few more, they died nobly fighting against the Ori mostly.  Thor even named one after me but it got destroyed trying to protect them."

"Will this open up new jobs in the military?" another reporter asked.  "How would a person in the military ask to join?"

"Right now, the projects are mostly full.  Before we've only recruited or borrowed some of the mostly highly trained pilots and special forces people.   That's how I got in."  That got a few smiles.  "We are actively looking for soldiers with the genetic key that the Ancients put into their machines and then into the human race."  That got a gasp.  "They were like earlier humans, before we evolved this time.  There's a briefing in there about them as well.  Some of their equipment won't work without that genetic key.  That's why we recruited Sheppard and he was the best poach we've ever had."  He smiled.  "Atlantis would've been destroyed many times over if it wasn't for Sheppard and McKay working together."

"McKay?" one asked.

"Doctor Rodney McKay, head of science on Atlantis and most of the project right now since Colonel Sam Carter's too involved in a current project to really do much oversight."  He smirked.  "Yes, she was on my team when I was going on missions."

"Sir," the first reporter said, standing up.  "You mentioned ancient Egypt.  A few years ago there was a young scientist discredited for his views on the pyramids and aliens."

"Doctor Jackson.  Yes, I know him well.  I chased him when he ran at trouble for years.  He decoded a lot of what we found.  He's a truly gifted linguist.  He's also the one that tried to teach me diplomacy, usually with mixed results."

"Was he right?"

"Yes.  They were the gou'ald."  He smirked.  "He's hiding from all of you before you can ask."

She sat down, looking stunned.  "Their ships landed on them?"

"Their ships were huge pyramids.  We think the pharos used them as burial tombs after they left.  It was early in the pyramid years that they were here looking for slaves and hosts.  Again, that's in the briefing packet."  He pointed at another one.  "What?"

"How many countries are in your program, sir?"

"The science corps have brilliant minds from I think twenty-six countries but I can't be sure of an exact number.  General Landry may have added more or some may have retired.  Soldiers, mostly US and British forces.  We needed ones we could trust and trust if they got exposed to some technology that the world isn't ready for yet.  The Russians had their own gate that they found and had some problems on missions.  It got shut down during an emergency and never got restarted.  Which was how that Russian general knew enough to make people freak out."

"Other countries don't get to travel to other worlds?"

"At the time, I wouldn't have trusted the Chinese or the Koreans to go on missions and not bring back something harmful," he said honestly.  "The oversight board, the IOA, is made up of a few other countries, including France, China, and Russia.  That's in the packet as well.  We're going to be getting rid of them so they can start their own national programs to help us defend all of us.  We have let them pass around things like ship designs and things that could not be used to harm humanity."

"Who decides that?" she asked.

"The person in direct charge of the program.  Right now that's Hanky Landry.  I did for a while but I got bumped up to general in the Pentagon.  Mostly because I hated the paperwork.  Hank used to run Area 51 so he knew about scientists who needed geek wrangled and what we had already found."

"What constitutes a danger to humanity?"

"Things like high powered weapons that are worse than a nuclear weapon ever would be."  He cleared his throat again.  "In trying to build a new power source for Atlantis, Doctor McKay used their notes and forming lab.  It was in the Pegasus galaxy in an uninhabited solar system.  When an accident happened, it destroyed nine-tenths of that solar system."  She gasped, so did a few others.

"We've since figured out how to do it safely and we're working on building a project to test that for city uses instead since it's a clean power source that can last for centuries without a new one being needed."  She slumped.  "I wouldn't want that in the hands of anyone I didn't trust implicitly.  His was an accident.  There was another scientist that got killed trying to do the same thing."  She nodded.  "Would you want that in the hands of the people who had been in charge of Iran or Iraq?"

"No," she admitted.  "Is it going to be put into use?"

"Let us test it here on a terran source.  We need to see how a fully functioning city would handle it.  We don't have Atlantis fully activated yet while we fix things that were abandoned ten thousand years ago.  Literally."  A few sighed and one moaned.  He smiled.  "It's pretty science, which I don't understand; Sam Carter puts it in little words for me, but we're learning a lot to protect and help all of us.  The team on the city is going to start releasing more information soon.  The IOA kept them from publishing a lot of information they felt people weren't ready for."

"Who formed the IOA?"

"The last president after an attack.  It was that or have our budget cut."

"You weren't the original general on the project, sir?"  He shook his head.  "Who was?" that woman asked.

"General George Hammond.  That's why he got moved to Homeworld Security.  Which is why I got moved to Homeworld before the assassinations happened."

"Home*world*?" she asked.  "Like if you watched Dr. Who you could compare it to UNIT?"

Jack nodded.  "Yeah, basically."  He smiled.  "It's a tough job.  It's a mind-bending job at times.  That's why I picked General Mathiason to go to it when George retired."

"Is he an American General?"

"No, he's a Canadian one but he's got the best grip on how to merge the other countries' programs into ours.  The British are starting up their own program of light space capable craft to protect us.  The French have plans but haven't done anything with them.  The other IOA countries have the plans to do that and make their own plans.  It's his job to coordinate that."  He tapped his notes together.  "Any other questions?"

"I dare say we have a lot, sir," one quipped.

"Talk to him after you have the briefing packet, people.  We don't want people in a panic.  It's a slim chance the wraith can find us and the Ori can't regroup enough to mount a concentrated attack.  We can defend against either of those and we know what we're doing."  He walked off.  Buffy was waiting to give him a hug.  "Thanks."

"You did good.  You sounded like Brainy smurf," she teased with a grin, getting one back.  "John's going to shout when Rodney shouts at him."

"Probably but he knew it was coming.  That's why he's hiding on Atlantis for the next month."  They went to his office.  "At least it's not a bad scandal like Clinton's," he said.  She nodded at that, giving him another hug then shifting to work on his neck again.  He moaned.  "Damn that's good, Buffy.  You give good neck massages."

His door was open so the press secretary leaned in.  "Sir, thank you for throwing me to wolves."

"Welcome," he quipped back.

He smiled, taking that box of information to the press room.  "The general retreated to let his wife work the knots out of his neck muscles.   That's a true hero's reward."  He put down the box.  "Let's be orderly."  They came up to get their folders, going through them so they could ask him more questions.

Later that night, the city appearing was shown on every news program in the world.  World leaders were screaming and ranting that they hadn't been told.  The IOA member countries said the same but the head of the IOA got pushed in front of a camera to tell people that they had told their leaders and most of them had been at least briefed on these matters.  Former leaders who were still alive said the same thing.  Religions were denouncing things left and right.  It caused one hell of a news week.

***

Xander walked out of the Council building the morning after Jack's press conference to find reporters lying in lurk.  "What now?" he asked.

"Mr. Harris, did the Council know about the stargate program?"

"Some of us heard rumors about it from the demon underground.  The original Council's library had books going back that far."  A few babbled at him.  "I haven't had caffeine yet, people.  Talk slowly and clearly."

One raised her camera higher.  "Sir, did you know about aliens?"

He stared at her.  "I deal with demons," he pointed out.  "Some of those are from other planes, so technically alien."  A few snapped pictures.  "Guys, I'm not pretty yet today, quit.  As for that sort of alien?  I've heard rumors on the underground poker circuit and things.  It's a great information source.  That and Giles likes to pump Doctor Jackson for information."  He shrugged.  "He's been being a book nerd and translating some of our library too for the last year and a bit."

"Is he here now?  Can we talk to him?"

"He's in England with Giles looking over the remains of the old building to see if there's any hidden rooms."

"Sir, do the slayers deal with aliens?"

He gave her an odd look.  "Why would we?  If they attack, then the girls will help if it's something we can fight.  We're not really set up to fight other humans.  That's the military's job.  If there's a threat we can help against, the president knows he can ask.  He made sure what a slayer could do before he got elected when he ran into us."

"So you're saying that if they're human based they can't fight them?"

"No, most of the girls could not.  Some of the girls could but the majority are trained to fight demons, non-humans, those things.  If we have an invasion here in Cleveland we'd step in, help the agents we'd hope would help us this time, and do what we could.  Slayers are soldiers in a whole different war than that one."

"That demon you took down after the invasion, it said something about Ori."

He looked clueless.  "How long ago was that?" he scoffed.  "I don't remember every single one I fight with, guys.  There's too many.  In the last week, we took down fifteen different vampire families and three rampaging demons trying to eat a mall.  I'd have to look back at the Council logs."  Which was a lie but it would make people less panicky.  He fully agreed on O'Neill with that.

"Sir, who is the head of the Council?  You or Mr. Giles?"

"Him.  I only run this house and threaten the girls' boyfriends."  He walked around them.  "Going for coffee, people.  You're interrupting the sacred trek."  They got out of his way but followed asking questions.

"Sir, do you think John Sheppard would make a good president?"

"I think if he wanted it, he'd do fine.  Most of the world leaders know him, know where he stands on things.  He's good at the shooting down egos game without making it seem like he is.  Buffy said he's really a nice guy.  So yeah, I think he'd do okay if he wanted to.  I don't know if he wants to do it or not.  Ask him."  He walked into the coffee shop, giving the clerk a look.  "I should have the truck driver size today," he muttered.  "Before I go off and start grunting."  They knew him here so they knew what he wanted.  Buffy appeared.  "And get her a petite latte, fake milk and extra sugar."  The clerk rang him up and got them personally.  "Thanks."   He handed her the smaller cup and walked off with her.  "We're going over staffing for the next possible apocalypse in Spain, people.  Shoo before I go back to Africa to get away from you guys."

"Mrs. O'Neill, where's your guards?" one shouted.

She looked at him.  "Like Jack, I can take care of most anything that comes near me.  If I can't, Xander can shoot it."  Xander smirked at them.  The reporters decided they had enough of a story.  All but one very brave soul that followed them back.  She looked at him. "What?"

"Spain?"

"Yeah, we found an apocalypse cult.  They know but have no idea what to do with them.  The local slayer told the local authorities and they're not sure what they can do either.  So we're making just in case plans.  Anything else?"  He smiled and took a picture.  "Gee, thanks, not exactly my prettiest today," she said dryly.  "And he's dressed like he just got up."

"I did just get up.  I make crappy coffee and Andrew's not back yet."  He took a sip as they walked into the gates.  The wards repelled the reporter and they went inside to sit and talk in quiet.

***

One reporter that day raised a hand.  "Where is the Council's Housemother?"

"Why would I know?" the press secretary answered.

"His last facebook entry said that he's off to the great beyond to help with a cool issue with Illyria and someone named Gorm."

"Still no clue why you'd ask me."

"Illyria was a mythological God-King.  Mr. Wells seems to like space things.  I was wondering if the general had coopted him perhaps?"

"No one's mentioned anything yet.  How do you know he's gone?"

"Mr. Harris noted that since he hadn't come back yet, no one made good coffee at the slayer house in Cleveland.  He was chatting with Mrs. O'Neill about an apocalypse cult in Spain."

He shrugged.  "I haven't heard a thing yet.  I'll ask."  He went to do that, shaking his head the whole walk.  "Sir, someone asked if Andrew Wells was borrowed by your people?"

"Yup, they're making the Ori leave us alone.  He's converted a few worlds to the Jedi code from what I'm told."  His minion moaned, shaking his head.  "Anything else strange come up?"

"Apocalypse cult in Spain?"

"They know, they're trying to shut them down.  They're of the bombing sort.  It would be Harris and a few of the more military trained girls going if the slayers handle them."  He looked up from his paperwork.  "Any other issues?"

"Not yet."  He went back to the press room.  "Mr. Wells volunteered to help some worlds that had been converted by the Ori get back to a normal existence.  I'm told he's teaching some of them about Jedi for some reason.  As for the cult in Spain, they know, they're dealing with it, and if not, Mr. Harris will probably lead that team."

"Too late," Buffy called as she walked past the room.  "He already fixed it on us.  I swatted him good for it too."  Xander yelped.  "See?"

"I think Mrs. O'Neill has that matter well in hand," he finished with a smirk.

Xander walked Buffy into the oval office.  "Here you go, one fussy, mean wife who thinks I'm helpless again."  He handed her over to the guard in there.  "Make her quit trying to dress me or make me shop please."  He looked at Jack.  "That apocalypse cult is no more as of last night.  The reporters did ask where her guard was since she slipped it, she quipped that she could beat most anything and if not I'd shoot them.  Atlantis is having a power spike from what the underground said.  Something about solar power chargers were left on."  He waved.  "Let me go back to my insane girls."  He walked off.  John stopped him to stare at him.  "Tell your boyfriend the solar chargers were left on so they're having a power spike."

"Rodney's not my boyfriend, Xander.  What did you do in Spain?"

"Took out the small group of demons who wanted to explode a nuclear bomb in Rome to end the tyranny of the Church."  He shrugged.  "There were only eight of them and a bomb I turned over to the locals, and I told them I found a nuclear warhead sort of bomb so they called the military once they saw it and panicked."

"Good of you.  Some warning perhaps?"

"Why?  Buffy's retired."

"The Spanish ambassador asked me earlier if you're insane or just suicidal."

"No, it's just the job," he sighed.  "I so need a vacation," he finished quietly.  "Upcoming minor apocalypse in LA this year, not in Cleveland, and we'll have a bit of fussing in a few months when the head demon in the city dies to shift the power order.  Oh, Wolfram and Hart are back.  They're behind a lot of bad shit in LA.  Have fun with them.  They want the city too."  He walked around him, calling Dawn.  "Home please?" he begged.  "Before more people give me strange looks for wearing a shirt today."  She sent him home.  "Thanks."  He hung up and went to lay down.  He *so* needed a vacation around men.  He never saw guys anymore.  He was almost stunned to realize he wasn't the last man on earth some days.

"Xander, I broke the bathroom again," Faith called.

"Tell Giles to call a plumber and turn off the water valve," he yelled back.  "I need a damn nap!"

"Sure, X."  She did that and called Giles to warn him Xander was cranky and they needed a plumber.  Maybe even a general handyman around the house with the way things got broken.  Hopefully Andrew got back soon so Xander had another guy around again.

***

Rodney hung up with John.  "What solar power chargers?" he complained.  A board lit up.  "Oh, that one," he said sarcastically.  He looked it over and flipped it to the reset setting.  The power quit being held and got used in places.  That was better.  He went to tell Radek he had a new system to examine.  "We apparently had solar chargers that couldn't come online before."

"Wonderful," he said from under his machine.  "Will examine them later, after I fix this wiring travesty."

"That's fine, Radek.  Want to go out to dinner tonight?  I want off base and at least you won't bore me by babbling at me."

Radek came out from under the machine.  "Gladly.  I could use company that was more genial as well."

"I'm not taking you on a date," Rodney snorted.

Radek smirked at him.  "Was not asking for one.  You would only want sex because has been too long."  He went to get changed.

"No it hasn't," Rodney complained.  "I've had some more recently than you have."  He went to get changed as well.  They came out to the gate room and found Willow there pouting.  "He was wiring if you want to finish it for him," he offered.

She shrugged.  "It's a sucky day.  My new girlfriend broke up with me."

Radek patted her on the back.  "Will work itself out.  No woman with your brains will be alone for long."  He looked at Rodney, who rolled his eyes.  He gave him a pointed look.  Rodney shot back a dirty one.

"No, you guys go have fun. I'm going to pout in botany since nothing grows in the mountain and I need time with the Goddess."  She walked that way.

"Fine," Rodney muttered.  "Willow, do you want to come with us?"

"Unless you're going to only have dessert for dinner, no thank you."

He smirked.  "Those can be fun but I was hoping for a steak."

She smiled at him.  "John hasn't told you that eating steak means that you're going to be elected to something?"

"He did share that superstition, yes.  Come along.  You're dressed well enough I suppose."  She considered it then snapped her fingers.  He stared at her.

"My only one today," she promised.  "I haven't used it in days and it was getting itchy anyway."  She went out with them.  It was good to get off base.  She got many happy looks from the local women too, which she blushed but needed to feel sexy again.  She even got stolen from the guys by a cute woman who was an artist.

***

Sam Carter looked around later that night.  "Where did Willow go, Cam?"

"Did you lose your girlfriend?" he teased.

"I don't like women like that," she shot back.  "Where is she?"

"Atlantis somewhere making things grow.  She got dumped for being too smart."

"I know how that goes," she sighed.  "I wonder if McKay's seen her.  He's not answering his phone either."  She went to call out there, getting Miko.  "Where's Willow and Rodney?"  She listened.  "Like a date?"  She gave the chalkboard in her office a confused look.  "Huh.  Okay.  I guess that's fine.  Yeah, she needed a night off."  She hung up and shook her head.

"She's not even blonde," she muttered.  McKay had stated a desire and fascination for blondes.  That's why he had drooled on her for years.  Him going for Willow was different but she'd accept it if Willow swung back.  It might make them both happier.  She decided to settle in and watch some mindless entertainment show to see what they were leaking about the project now.  They kept getting hold of things from Atlantis that made John look tragic and heroic.  It was enough to make him swear and her giggle.  They had done it to Jack for weeks and then gotten hold of Cam's profile and done him too.

This time they were reporting that the all important Doctor McKay was off on a date with his second-in-command and another scientist had come with them but left with an unknown woman.  "Shit," she muttered, calling Landry to let him know that.  No wonder Rodney wasn't answering!  He clearly needed the time off too.  He had been working since they got back.  And if Willow was happier that was all good too.  She moped and caused others to mope back.

***

John looked at the member of the press that came up to him at the dinner.  "What now?"

"Sir, is Doctor McKay really dating his second-in-command?"

"No.  He and Radek are friends.  What were they doing that started that rumor?"

"They went to dinner with Miss Rosenburg?"

"They could all use a night off," he said dryly.  "Rodney is the sort to work himself to death.  Radek too.  I'm sure it was just a night off and a good dinner with a friend."

"Is he the one that rumors said you may have been seeing while you were stuck in another galaxy?"

"No," he said dryly.  "We've never been anything but friends, no matter what any rumors say.   I like Rodney as a friend.  I still like women."  He pointed at his date.  "Pretty, smart women.  Ones who appreciate more than my body."  His date giggled at that, swatting him on the hand.  He smirked at the reporter.  "Anything else?"

"Miss Rosenburg is Council?"

"Yes.  Head of the magic department."

"Why is she on your project?"

"She's helping discover the line between magic and technology."

"Oh, I see.  That's nice.  She's gay?"

"I never asked."

"Thank you, sir."  She jogged off to call that in.

He shook his head.  "Sorry, they ask some of the stupidest things sometimes."  She patted him on the hand and poured him some more wine.  The dinner tonight had plenty of wine and very bad, dry chicken with a wine sauce.  But it had a charity auction later so they must really want people loosened up to bid high.

Vacation Playtimes.

Xander finally managed to escape the estrogen zone.  "I'm disappearing into the ether!" he bellowed as he walked out the door.  "Don't destroy the city without me!"  He slammed the door and ran for the cab before one of the girls could stop him.  "I'm free," he said happily once he was inside.  "Airport?"

"International or domestic, sir?"  He pulled away, seeing the girls coming out to pout.

"International, Virgin."  The cabbie nodded, closing the little window.  Xander relaxed.  He was finally getting three weeks off.  There was a beach full of girls waiting on him in the Carribean.  Hopefully without reporters.  The ticket checker gave him a worried look.  "Vacation," he said slowly and clearly.  She smiled and relaxed.  "Giles is in charge if something happens."  He took his ticket and left.  He was being a good boy.  His gun and knife had been mailed to the hotel by UPS for him.  He was totally unarmed at the airport.  It felt creepy to be without even a stake but that was fine.   He ran into Dean in the airport, he was walking out.  "I thought you hated to fly."

"I do, but Faith said she needed a sub for you."

"Giles is there."  He called.  "Faith, why did you need Dean?"  He listened.  "Dean, did you want to play with the girls?"

"I don't mind helping them work on their endurance."

Faith quipped something.  "Yeah, they want you to work on their *endurance*, dude."  Xander smirked at him.

"I'm all for playing but I'm not staying."

"Good, come on.   Yes, Faith, I'm taking him with me.  Because he hasn't had a vacation either and the girls are going to handcuff him.  I heard them making plans that's how I know."  He hung up and dragged Dean to his flight, finding they did have spare seats.   Dean got his bag from baggage claim and checked it in then they went on first class to Aruba.  It would save Dean's life from the slayer pouncing and Xander's sanity.  They could use backup to picking up easy girls on the beach.

***

In DC, John Sheppard got onto the plane with a sigh of relief.  "Vacation," he cooed.  Cam Mitchell and Evan Lorne were with him.  They were all going on R&R.  Aruba was big enough for the three of them.  Two guards and it was good.  He sat down near them, getting comfy.  They were taking the smaller presidential plane on vacation.  "Finally."

"Definitely," Evan agreed.  "McKay's being a pain in the ass since they decided he was dating Radek instead of you, sir."

"Unless I'm chewing you a new one, I'm only John, still," he ordered with a smug look.

"Sorry, I don't like you that way," Evan quipped back.  "Or else I'd have stopped that dangerous priestess habit you grew in Pegasus."

Cam snickered.  "I know that habit very well.  Apparently I took over that spot on the mountain's teams too."  They all laughed.  The plane taxied and took off smoothly.  The three of them were pilots so they didn't worry if something happened.  They needed to relax.  Things were insane with the project being blown open.  "Did they get that general?"

"Oh, yeah," John said dryly.  "He's in jail.  Won't get out in this century."  They all smirked at that.  "Hopefully they have AA there too because he was drunkenly vengeful when he did the interview."  He tipped his seat back, getting comfy.  "Poke me if I snore, guys."  They nodded, getting comfortable too.

***

Dean ran into Cam Mitchell and winced.  He knew him.  "Vacation?" he asked hopefully.

"Yeah, you?" he asked.

"Definitely.  Xander saved me from the girls pouncing and tying me up."  He smirked.  "We're on this beach today and plan on the little private beach up the road tomorrow.  The club downtown with the red lights and flashing dancers later."

"We can avoid those," he agreed, shaking his hand and walking off.  He went to tell the others that they were there.  "Saw Dean Winchester."  John moaned, shaking his head.  "He and Harris are on vacation.  Winchester told me where they were going to hang so we can avoid it."

John smirked.  "That's an excellent idea."  They left to do some surfing and hanging around on the private beach up the road a few miles.  Hopefully nothing would happen with them around.   They managed two weeks of the vacation before something did.  Then it was John's bad girl drawing power that got them caught.  Tied up.  Put into a van and driven off.  The guards too.

A reporter who had been following John called that to her boss as she looked around.  "Oh, where is he?" she muttered.  "They weren't human!"  She went to check at the hotel.  "Have you seen Mr. Harris or Winchester in the last few minutes?  It's critical, I saw a demon snatch someone."  The worker pointed.   She jogged out to find him.  "Mr. Harris," she said.

He gave her a dirty look.  "Can't I have a vacation?"

"Three demons just took the VP's vacation party," she said quietly.

He nodded.  "Describe them."  She showed them the pictures she had taken on her picture phone.  "Done.  Thanks."  She ran off to report that too.  He sighed, looking at Dean, who sighed too.  "Breeders."  He got up.  "Stay, bask."

"You'll need backup, Xander."

"Maybe."  He walked off, going to get the weapons he had shipped to himself.  So much for a vacation.  They probably had a few hours before the Secret Service pounced the whole island.  Xander went to find out where the local demon bar was from the demon working in the kitchen.  He told him why too and the demon begged for their lives.  Apparently they were at the only demon brothel on the island.  He got directions and promised to leave most of them living.  He even let Dean drive as he called in the report to Faith.  He left it as 'stole one of the VP's friends to a demon brothel' so she wouldn't panic and tell Giles.  They got there and got out, finding a fat demon on the porch.  "Morning."

The demon shuddered.  "They had heard much about how nice and good they were, wanted to try them."

"They still stole the Vice President of the US," Dean pointed out.  "You're getting the Secret Service here."

She nodded.  "I will evacuate all those not involved?" she asked hopefully.

"Sure," Xander agreed.  "Have fun with that.  Where?"

"Back room, Harris."  She got out of their way.  This was going to be messy.  She might need to remodel with the weapons they were carrying.

Xander walked back there, kicking in the wrong door.  "Sorry."  He walked on until he found the right room.  John was complaining loudly.  Xander kicked in the door and shot all three with tranq darts.  "I thought it was just my luck," he said dryly.

"Two of them tried to hit on me yesterday on the beach," Dean said.  They got everyone freed and out to the car.  "We can hike, guys.  They're going to panic since a reporter told us."

John called it in.  "We're good, we were rescued," he reported to Chuck, Jack's wonder assistant.  "Yeah, Chuck, we're fine.  Harris and Dean Winchester saved us from the demons who had heard we were good and wanted to try us.  Tranq'd."  He drove them off.

Xander called a cab and they got back to the resort and then to a secluded beach to hide better.  This was so going to suck for them if they got noted too much.

***

Buffy and Jack met the plane that came back.  "Xander and Dean saved you from demon pros who wanted to see how good you were?" she joked.  "That's more Xander's luck than yours, John."

"Apparently they weren't getting anything good and wanted to try the best," he quipped with a dirty look for her.  She cackled, shaking her head.  "Mean wench."

"Yup, sometimes, but Jack's still better at all that stuff."  She got them to the car, ignoring the reporters.  She was getting better at that.

The others shared a look.  "A reporter told Xander."

"She also sold the story to HNN," Jack said.  They all whimpered.  "Not why just that you had been stolen by some."

"I'll clarify that was their version of hitting on us," John muttered.  "Rodney call to laugh?"

"He demanded that we let your former team go rescue you.  I told him you had already been rescued so it was fine.  He ranted for another ten minutes so I let Buffy calm him down.  She talked him in circles until he had a migraine."

"Nice work," Evan said with a smile for her.  She grinned back.  "Hopefully Willow will find a new spell to test and he can do that for a few weeks."

"Xander and Daniel are keeping whole stacks of magic books from her.  Dawn too."

"I might do the same," John admitted.  "What about history books related to the city?"

"Daniel's found that whole section and sent them over with Giles' blessing," Jack said.  They pulled onto the highway.  "You okay?"

"I'm good.  It's all good.  We had a great vacation.  When Cam ran into Dean, they got an itinerary so we could stay apart.  They got down and funky, we hit our own places to do the same.  It was good for all of us.  They're heading to Cleveland tomorrow."

"Why was Dean there?" she asked.

"Xander saved him from the pouncing plans the girls had for him," John said dryly.  "I asked."

"Dawn will stop that once Dean tells her."  She snuggled into Jack's side, smiling at him.  Then at John.  "For being kidnaped you have to go into public and be seen to be okay."  He gave her a dirty look.  "There's the Navy thing tonight."

"I might go to that," he decided.  "Or out to dinner."  The other two nodded.  "Are my guards being sworn at?"

"No," Jack said.  "Their commander said it was an extreme situation and they're fine.  They're pouty probably but fine."  John nodded and they watched the city go past.  "Just two more years and we're free."

Buffy grinned.  "Are you going right back to the Pentagon or are we going to the cabin?"

"The cabin," he said.  "I've said all along I'm going fishing without having anyone stare over my shoulder to scare the fish."

She laughed.  "I won't scare the fish on you."  He smiled at her for that.  "Giles wanted to know if I was fully retired or just on leave."

"You're fully retired outside of emergencies, the same as I am," Jack told her.

She nodded.  "That's what I said.  He agreed emergencies were different.  Apparently there's a slayer pension for those who have to retire due to traumatic injury and stuff."

"That's fine.  If you want to take that, that's up to you, Buffy."

"It'd give you more shopping money," John joked.  "They're calling you the Pink First Lady."

She snorted, shaking her head.  "I wear other colors.  I should shock everyone and wear a burgundy or something soon."

"There is the Marine Corps ball in a few months," Jack offered.  "You'd stand out among all the blues, greens, and whites from dress uniforms."

She nodded.  "I might do that then."  She hugged his arm.  "That means you have to put on your dress uniform, right?' she teased.

He smirked.  "It would."

"Good."  She looked at the guys.  "Yes, I'm allowed to be gushy and cute.  I've saved the world so I get extra cutesy points," she quipped.  They all snickered.

"I give mine to Vala," Cam admitted.

"I give mine to McKay for his freakouts," John and Evan said, then pinched each other.

Jack shook his head.  "You two are nuts."  The car swerved and he looked out there. "Are we under attack?" he called.

"Stolen police car, sir."

"Thank you."  He closed the window again with a sigh.  "I never get attacked anymore.  I almost missed being attacked the other day."

"Me too," John agreed.  "I haven't had to negotiate with anyone recently for food or to keep McKay and Ronon unmolested."

Evan nodded.  "I haven't had to geek wrangle recently either.  It's weird."

"If you want to, you can go unJedi the places the trio went," Jack offered.  "The Ori like the Jedi code much better than the book of Origin."  Buffy burst out cackling, shaking her head.  That's when they got attacked.  The car flipped onto its side, making them all crash together.  Jack groaned, having hit his head on the door frame.  Cam was still mostly good.  Evan had a broken wrist from trying to brace himself.  John was unconscious from Cam's bag hitting him too hard on the temple.  Buffy was mostly good.  She grabbed Jack's gun, silently thanking Xander for teaching her how to use one against her will, and climbed out.

"Get back in the car!" the secret service guard yelled.

Buffy climbed out anyway.  "They're mostly knocked out."  She moved to check the driver.  "He's dead."  The guard nodded, calling that in.  She looked around with her slayer senses.  She pointed.  "Something's wrong that way but I don't know what and the sniper's there," she said with a point.   The guard stared at her for a moment.  "Slayers have better eyesight and other special gifts related to the fighting."

"Good to know."  He called in the probable position of the sniper.   The 'wrong' feeling spot ended up being a demon club when they checked it.  Ambulances screamed up and Buffy stiffened, pulling up her sidearm to point at one.  "Know him?"

"Oh, yeah."  She cocked it.  "What are you doing here, Riley?"

"Move, Summers."

"That's Mrs. O'Neill to you," she said firmly.  "Guys, he's Initiative and part of that conspiracy that was trying to take us all out."  More guards showed up and got the ambulance crews.  None of them were licensed ambulances.  Buffy relaxed, leaning against the car.  She heard a groan so pulled herself back up to look in there.  "It's safer, guys, but just sit up and moan for a bit.  Real ambulances are coming."  Jack looked at her.  "Riley Finn was here."

"Your ex?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Shit."

"Basically."  She helped Cam out since he was the most awake.   She heard another shot and moved Cam out of the way.  It hit where she had been standing.  "I'm so calling Xander," she muttered.

"Buffy, that's why you have the Secret Service.  They're all like Xander, only sane," Cam told her.  One of them gave him a dirty look.  "Aren't you?"

"Much more sane than Mr. Harris," he assured them.  They got them into a shielded ambulance with the others.  John was barely awake.  Evan had to get a shove up with his broken wrist.   They got Jack out last, shielding him as best they could.  The ambulance went to the nearest hospital and it was good.  Mild concussion, a cast, and they were back at the White House.  Buffy's cellphone was ringing in the office.  Chuck was staring at it.

She answered it.  "Better be good, my husband needs babied."  She listened to Faith.  "Riley.  Yup, them again.  Apparently some escaped whatever Xander did."  She hung up, taking Jack upstairs to baby him.  Evan and Cam got taken to John's house to baby them there.   Buffy tensed when someone appeared.  "Whistler?"

"Buffy."  He stared at her.  "There's big stuff coming, princess."

Jack glared at him.  "Who the hell are you?"

"That's Whistler.  He's from the Powers.  He's a balance demon," she told him.  "He gives cryptic, life changing advice that sucks."  She glared at him.  "If this is about Riley, we noticed."

"Taking them out this time will mean you're going to lose one of your crew, but not to death.  Can you do that?"

"Are they going to jail?"  He shrugged.  "Spit it out.  I'm out of patience for the day."

"Fine.  Probably not jail, though a trial probably.  Plus, have you checked on Germany?"  He smirked.  "Beyond that, there's another big bad coming."

"Is Spike coming back without the chip?"

"No.  Someone that makes Angelus look pleasant.  And he wants you."  He disappeared.

She looked at him.  "I'm so putting on a slayer as a helper or trainer or something."

"We could use one that could train with the guards," he admitted.  "I'm fine."

"Shut up."  She fluffed his pillows and called down for a special dinner to make him feel better.  "I'm supposed to fuss," she said at his scowl.  "If you don't let me fuss I'll have to fuss over something else while I worry about whatever this new plan is and whatever new big bad this is."

He kissed her.  "Calm down.  C'mere."  She snuggled into his side, snuffling his shoulder.  He stroked over her hair, calming her down.  The guards brought in lunch.  "It good?"

"Very good, sir, all tasted."

She looked at him.  "So, are you part of Riley's idiocy or not?"  He stiffened.  "Like I didn't recognize you," she snorted.  He handed over the food, letting her taste it.  "Very good soup today."  She stared at him.  "Well?"

"Not part of his.  Most of us are against what Riley's doing now.  We learned what the girls should be doing from you and your team."

"Whistler showed up and said there's another big bad," she said.   "Beyond him."

"We've heard rumors, that's why two of us switched."  He smiled.  "Feed him, Summers.  He needs fussed over."  He left them alone to report that contact.  The general over Homeworld Security was not taking any chances about this.

Jack looked at her.  "We'll figure out Germany soon too."  She nodded, sitting up to help him eat his lunch.  He needed it and she needed to fuss so he'd put up with it this time.  Next time he'd fuss over her tiny injury and she'd know better.

***

Buffy looked up as the German ambassador walked into her office that weekend.  "So, I heard rumors that your country was doing something with the demon underground."

He nodded, swallowing as he shut the door.  "It is the feeling of our government that all demons deserve recognition as sentient species."

"I'm with you on that.  I was told there was a problem though."

He cleared his throat.  "It was felt all species should be protected under the laws of our country."  She nodded, making go on motions.  "It was also felt that your duty is considered a bad thing.  Almost genocidal."

"We don't touch anything that's not causing problems."

"We think they should go to jail instead."

"If you're sure, you can do that.  We won't work where we're not wanted.  How are you going to handle the vampire threat since there's a growing one?"

"We believe that they fit in the same category."

"Okay," she said, considering that.  "How are you going to feed them in jail?  Sacrifice a few prisoners every few days?"  He gaped.  She stared back.  "Most vampires need three pints a day according to the one I used to date in high school.  Most of them take about six a day."  He shuddered.

"No country's blood banks will have that much surplus.  So how do you plan on taking care of them in jail?"  He coughed, shrugging a bit.  "That's fine, I'm pulling the slayers away from your country.  If you want help, you'll ask.  Unless it's an apocalypse then all bets are off.  Because we can't let one of those start.  We'd let you guys try but I doubt you'd be able to handle one."

"There is a push to put slayers on trial for having killed some of our citizens."

She snorted.  "Vampires are no longer citizens once they lose their souls.  They died, that negates citizenship."  She had been thinking about this since checking the rumor mill.

"How do you know they don't have souls?"

"Again, dated one, history after history of them, all that.  I can find a few so you can ask if you want."  He blanched.  "There's only six in DC and they know if they try to attack a person or demon here I'm going to be there a few minutes later to stop it for good.  They eat out of the butcher shop.  Most of yours don't.  You've lost fifteen people this week to vampire attacks in your country.  If you really want to decimate your population that way, we can't stop idiocy.  We'll pull our girls back and tell them to stay out of Germany."

She leaned forward.  "For the trial idea?  You'd never get one of us on trial.  The UN said that we're outside all that because we're taking out problems.  The girls who hit all demons were ended before me."  He swallowed again.  "Other than that, I've already ordered her to stay away from Germany.  I hope your population survives.  No humans deserve to be a feeding pool like my former town was."

"Some do have souls," he sneered.

"Yes, and that's a very hard spell that Willow Rosenburg alone can do," she said bluntly. "It won't keep them from killing.  Both of the ones I know who got souled, really against their wills, could still fight, hunt, all that.   After all, a soul is only a shoulder angel telling you something is wrong."

He huffed.  "We think your kind are no longer welcome in Europe."

"You don't speak for all of Europe," John said as he walked in.  "I video called France, the Netherlands, Britain, Austria, Italy, Switzerland, Sweden, Finland, and Liechtenstein.  They're the only ones that will video conference.  Yesterday I talked to the Russians.  They all welcome the slayers openly and are sneering at your people.  Austria and France's heads both said they'd look into asylum for Germans fleeing the feeding frenzy going on. By the way, a soccer match today turned into a blood bath."   He held up the report the press secretary had gotten for him.  "You've now lost over a thousand people to vampires, Ambassador Hans.  Don't you believe that's enough?"  He stomped off.  He looked at Buffy.  "Nice job."

"Thank you.  Mary Beth's in France.  We have one we haven't been able to get hold of yet but Xander's going commando to do that.  He's not a slayer and they can't really stop a hunter beyond trying to say he killed them and he can claim self defense."

John nodded.  "Probably true."  He sat down in front of her desk.  "Anything on this big bad he heard or the trial that would take out one of your people?"

"Slightly on the second.  Xander had a vision he's not sharing."

"Huh.  Why not?"

"I don't know.  He won't tell me."

"I'll ask him if you want."

"Maybe.  The other thing, we think is coming out of Germany since they're all fleeing there to hide if they're evil.  The rest are moving to Austria and Switzerland from what I've been told."

"Decent."  He smiled.  "We'll handle it.  It can't be worse than a full scale invasion of the planet."

"We hope," she corrected.  "Never say it can't be worse because it will be."

"True.  I forgot that rule."  He smiled and left her alone to swear at Germany.  Jack was doing a good bit of it too.  He got himself, and his guard because the guy was paranoid, to the main Council building in Cleveland.  Xander looked up from his ice cream.  "What was it?"

"I'm going to be on trial for shooting at your pretty city because it's going to explode around you if you make it into space," he said quietly.

"For that, you call."

"During an emergency?"

"Good point."  He considered it.  "What did you see?"

"Willow checked, it's not there yet.  Rodney knows."

"Tell me anyway."  He handed over the account.  "Why not tell Buffy?"

"She doesn't need it on top of her former boyfriend deciding she's the root cause of all evil and trying to remove her and most of the slayers."

"This big bad?" the guard asked.

Xander stared at him.  "Are you on Riley's side or ours?"

"Yours, Harris.  What is it?"

He ate another bite of ice cream.  "Willow's going to lose it again.  Something on the city will zap her, put her out of control.   We're not sure if it's started or not.  Apparently the city hates magic."

"Did you warn her?" John asked.

"Yeah.  She's been zapped plenty of times and thinks that even if it makes her lose total control of her magic she can still contain it.  Apparently she's had a few minor test runs.  I had to tell her it was a vision and she wasn't going to handle it and the west coast was going to be a smoking island then she was going to go to Germany to pay them back for the idiocy over there.  It was going to make Pompeii look pretty."  John shuddered.  "I don't know what to do.  Willow can't stay off the city or out of the Mountain and I'm not sure that whatever's getting her isn't also there since she admitted one of those she was on base."  He finished his ice cream.  "Other than that, I don't know what's going on.  Half the demon population heard that and started to flee the west coast and Germany.  They're going to Switzerland.  There's some sort of hidden enclave inside a mountain that's a sanctuary."

"Okay," John said.  "You let me talk to Willow?"

"She knows it's a problem but she's denying she can't handle it."

"That's probably part of her blindness to her own addiction," the guard said.  Xander nodded.  "Is there something that can hold her?"

"Not if she goes full blown.  She can draw on power from all over the world if she opens herself to it.  Dawn might be able to but it'll kill Dawn to contain her."

"Knock her out?"

"Then we're looking at an uncontrolled explosion."

"Is there a spell that will allow Willow to go somewhere else?  Like another planet?" John asked.  Xander nodded.  "Get it to her.  Or me, and I'll use it when I talk to her."

Xander went to the library to get that book from the locked case, bringing it back.  "The whole book is on moving realms and spatially."

"Okay.  So what if she goes to explode somewhere else?"  Xander groaned, holding his head.  "Vision?" he guessed.  The guard nodded, helping him into his seat again.  Xander panted, looking at him.  "Will that work?"

"Denial.  She'll say she's fine and refuse to go."

"Can we avoid it by sending her now?"

Xander considered it.  "Maybe.  I'm not sure."

"That's fine.  She's going to Camelot then."  He smiled.  "There's an ancient outpost somewhere around there.  I'm betting it'll come out at the magic and the planet is all but evacuated.  It's got a terraformed moon apparently so she can head there and safely explode if she needs to."  Xander relaxed, nodding.  "Now, the Whistler guy said something about a trial?"

"Yeah, if I go take out the problem growing in Germany."

"Don't," John said.

"They can't handle it."

"They can.  They want to handle it on their own, let them," he ordered.  "It's against everything we both believe in but the people can escape.  Other countries are helping.  People are already fleeing.  It's up to them to fix their own shit."  Xander slumped, shaking his head.  "Why not?"

"Two slayers got kidnaped by German agents.  I need to get in there to get them.  One's one of my girls from Africa," he said quietly.

"Can you ask a favor from a higher demon who might be able to steal them?"

"Not without dating one."

"We can beam them out."

"You'd have to be able to lock on them and there's nothing in your system.  Neither one have ID vials.  That only started a few years ago."

"How were you going in?" the guard asked.  Xander showed him his plans.  "They'll know you're there."

"The girl in Russia is helping me."

John smirked.  "No, you let the Russians handle it.  They owe us."  He called Jack to tell him that.  "You come with me for now."

"I can't.  I'm the only adult in the house right now and we have two sick girls.  Demon chicken pox."

"Literally?" John asked.  He nodded.  "Let me get someone who wanted to study demon diseases."  He made that call.  "Doctor Lam, John Sheppard.  Want to look at demonic chicken pox?"  She answered in a way that made him smile.  "Main Council building.   We need Harris for a meeting and he's babying them."  She appeared before he could hang up.  "Show her, Xander."  He led her up there.  He came down dressed better.

"Cool.  Let's go."  He tagged him with a target and they went to the White House to fill in on the problems.  Buffy got very upset that the Germans stole a few of her slayers.  She was ready to storm Germany herself.  Jack got her calmed down.  Between him and Sheppard, they were excellent at planning battles and covert actions.  The girls would be free within minutes of the team finding them.

***

Xander was in DC waiting on the girls to get back, when he ran into a problem.  Everyone was giving him funny looks so he looked where they were.  "Hey, Cordy."  He smiled at the staring people.  "My ex girlfriend.  She's going to cut down my self esteem some more."  He looked at her.  "So?"

"It won't stop the problem."

"Which problem?  We've got three."

"Hers."

"Even if she's somewhere else it won't help?"

"No."

"Have you told John?"

"Why would I?"

"Because he's helping me figure out what to do about it."

She stared then nodded.  "I can try.  It still might not work."  She grimaced.  "You so need to shop, Xander.  You're still an ugly shirt wearing dork."

"Love you too," he quipped back sarcastically.  "But hey, I got better from Anya."  He smirked.

"She had centuries of practice more than me.  That's worse than the age gap Buffy's got."

"Well, not recently but you know how that goes," he said dryly.

"Point.  You do need laid.  It might make you happier."

"I have a date tonight.  I'll see if she's up to oral sex or not.  Anything else?"  She faded off.  He turned, finding a reporter.  "My ex."

"We didn't get her, even if I saw her," the reporter admitted.

Xander smirked.  "You're not using the right digital filter.  There's one that works on vampires too."  He walked off.  That was bad news on a grand scale.  How do you solve a problem like Willow?  He blocked off the Sound of Music reference before the damn song started again.  He did need a nice shirt for his date tonight.  She had been right about that.  And hey, maybe she'd like sex.  A lot of sex hopefully.

***

Cordelia faded in, looking at John with a smirk.  "Rodney's little zappy thing doesn't work on me."

"I can see that."

"Sending her away to another place won't stop it.  She'll still make it back here and Dawn will probably have to give up her corporeal existence to stop her."

"Small problem with that," Buffy said from behind her.  "Dawn's pregnant and ignoring it greatly."

"What?" she asked flatly.

"The kid is the probable rebirth they got warned about.  Which would be their dad.  Apparently he annoyed a lot of demons and then heaven when he finally go free of hell.  They want him back down here *badly*.  They tried to get you to come ascend him but apparently you were doing your nails."

"Shit!  No, we need Winchester down here in about twenty years when we're down to sixteen slayers.  He'll be the next Xander without the destiny to screw up the world.  Because the new game plan?  Kinda creepy and I'm glad I'm dead."  She faded out.

"That leaves one option," John decided, calling Rodney.  "Willow's magic is going spastic thanks to Atlantis.  I know I told you that.  The plans we had won't work.  Heard it from an Ascended your shield won't work on.  No, Chase, that comes from the Powers That Be.  I don't know, maybe because she has tentacles or something.  Anyway, check her for it.  See if a dose of Carson will help her."  He listened.  "Yeah, that's what I'm thinking, then it can be drained.  Thanks, Rodney."  He hung up.  "Sleeping Beauty."

"Then who's her prince since Tara's gone?" she asked quietly.  "I would've said Sam but she's firmly straight."

"I don't know why with how many of her boyfriends have died," he said dryly.  Buffy almost smiled at that.  "It'll be fine.  If we have to, we can test everyone to do that.  Maybe it'll get Rodney laid."

"Willow kinda got broken on guys with the whole Oz thing."

"Oz?"  She came in and sat down to tell him that story.   He nodded he understood it.  "I don't know what'll happen if she has to be kissed awake.  We don't know where Oz is."

"He's in Tibet," Jack's guard called.  "Still.  He's leading the secondary pack at the temple."

"Okay, thank you," she called.  "Have I mentioned they're kinda creepy?" she asked quietly.

He laughed but nodded.  "They can be.  And highly overprotective."

"So, how are you liking being saved by Xander?  It's still all over the news."

He snorted.  "About the same as being saved by my team only no huffing scientist to complain at me about dating."

"We need to go on a date night," she said, going to talk to Jack.  He was busy with Peru again.  She kissed him on the ear.  "Would you like a nice dinner in or out tonight?" she asked when he looked at her.

He gave her a weak smile.  "I'll be lucky to make it to bed tomorrow night.  The budget's out and it's a wreck."

She kissed him again.  "Then want dinner out tomorrow night?  No steak, I promise."

He smiled and nodded.  "We can go out tomorrow night."  She smiled and looked at something, pointing at it.  He looked and groaned.  "That's a demon enclave?"

"A sanctuary.  They have a group that's trying to destroy it.  The ones in there will fight back and the last I heard there's some powerful little brats in there.  Including the head pack bitch of a magically powerful group of demons."  She walked off.

Jack called that world leader to warn him about that.  It was the best he could do.  Maybe he could stop his own people for a change.  Then he got into the budget, making notes about things that sucked badly.  He had to look up some projects and cut them from the budget totally.  NID only needed a third of their budget.  The rest could go to more useful things.

***

Xander walked up to his date the next day, kissing her and taking the gun from her.  "Bad girl."  He swatted her on the ass, earning a glare.  He stared back.  "Bad, bad, evil girl.  No oral sex for you later."  The Secret Service pounced her.  "Pity, you were better than my last evil girlfriend."  He handed John the gun, walking off shaking his head.  "Aren't they back yet?"

"Tonight," he called, looking confused.  "Did he just... kiss her to save me?" he asked.

The guards both nodded.  "Yes, sir," one replied.

"Huh.  Interesting method.  I'll have to try that sometime when I'm being held hostage."  City cops showed up.  FBI showed up.  John watched them arrest her and lead her off.  He blew a kiss.  "Maybe you can get bail and have another night of Xander," he called after her.

"Don't encourage that," one of the FBI agents growled.  "That man is a danger to all of us when he dates."  He stomped off.

"Just for that I'm going gay and dating senior agents only!" Xander shouted from where he was getting coffee.  The agent growled but huffed off.  Xander smiled at John.  "Welcome."

"Don't you date normal girls?"

"No, never.  Sorry.  I didn't mean to let that one go so soon.  Clearly I hadn't warped her enough yet.  Must've needed more oral sex.  My last one I did it to long term went from torturing people to wanting sex all day," he told the watching agents.  "Clearly not enough exposure.  I'll have to plan my next date better."  He smiled.

"Give us a warning if you're dating in DC, sir," John's guard ordered.

"Sure.  Two weeks ago I dated a director."  He sipped his coffee, smiling at John.

"I wondered what made her evil," one of the agents muttered.   They got John back to safety inside the car and took him back to the Senate since his lunch break was up now.  This was going in the urban legends book for sure.

***

Dean watched Sam watch Dawn getting sick.  "Ginger ale," he ordered in his little brother's ear.

"She can't be."

"The angel said they were getting tired of Dad."

"Good point."  He went to get her something to settle her stomach and brought it back.  Dawn was insisting she wasn't pregnant, there was no way she was pregnant, and she was going to stay not pregnant.  "Then let's take a test," Sam said, sounding reasonable.  "Please?  We can go to the health department or pick up a home version, either one."

She sat down, staring at him and pouting.  "I'm not ready to be a mom yet."

"Neither am I," he quipped.

"You're both girls so you'd both be mothers?" Dean joked.

"Shut up, Dean," Dawn and Sam said together.

"Do you know how much warding we'll have to do in case my blood starts to open portals again?" she asked Sam.

"Bobby's really good at that," he offered.

"If she's pregnant she's only allowed to research," Gunn yelled from downstairs.

"That too," Dean agreed.  "How did you know?" he called.

"Buffy's email."

"Shit," Dawn muttered.  Sam smiled, helping her up so she could brush her teeth and do a listerine rinse.  Then they walked out together to hit the health department.  It was like the world was against her some days.

Dean walked downstairs after cleaning up the small mess, shaking his head.  "How bad could her blood be?" he asked.

"She had a hell goddess after her blood to open portals to another realm to pull it here," Connor told him.  "That's even worse than me being stolen and raised on a demon realm.  I'm not changing diapers."

"I doubt she'd let you, Connor, you might scowl and traumatize the baby," Dean quipped.  Connor nodded he was right.  He looked at Gunn, who shrugged.  "Fine, we'll figure that part out.  Let me call Bobby."  He walked upstairs to get his cellphone and call from there for some privacy.  "Bobby, Dean."  He leaned back on his bed.  "No, things are going okay out here.  Need me?   Well, I doubt we'll get Sammy away from Dawn's stomach anytime soon," he said dryly.  "Yes.  What, exactly, was the Key?"  He listened to him wonder.  "I know it has something to do with inter-dimensional portals."

Bobby found that mention and read it from the book.  "Okay, that would explain why we'll have to do a lot of warding for the labor.  Oh, and the one that got them hitched said it might be Dad being reborn."  He listened to the choking and smiled.  "Yeah, we can do that.  No, at the health department making sure that's why she pukes all morning and glows all afternoon," he said dryly.  "Thanks, man, we can be there in about a week.  Yup.  Or I'll send him and Dawn if I'm needed here.  Thanks, Bobby."  He hung up and texted that to Sam's phone.  South Dakota might be good for Dawn and the baby.

***

Buffy got the text message and looked, sending one back.  Everyone in the room looked at her.  "Sorry, news from my sister.  She's on the detail in LA right now."  She finished it and turned her phone off, which she thought she had.  It rang again.  "I know I turned you off," she said dryly.  She muted the ringer instead and answered her.  Jack leaned over and snickered.  "Yeah, she's freaking out majorly."

"Why?" the woman at their table asked.

"She's newly married and might've slipped up on her pill regimen.  The wailing at the health department apparently took over an hour."  The woman gaped in horror.  "She's pregnant."

"Oh.  I was hoping your sister didn't have that sort of problem."

"No.  Just a bit of fussing right now.  I reminded her how often she jumped her new husband."  She sent another text and then shut her phone off again.  That would work.  She hoped.  She'd wail at Xander.  Cordelia faded in and stared at her then shook her head quickly before fading out again.

"We've got to find a way to block Cordelia," Jack decided.

"Yup."  They nibbled on the nice, unusually large, salad for the luncheon they had to attend because it was honoring a general Jack liked.

***

Willow pouted.  "I'm not building too much."

Rodney put the sensors on her and looked back at her.  "You are so.  You're glowing in dim rooms, Willow."

"But I can't feel any."

"Which is probably the zap you took last night."  She slumped further.  He checked the readings coming off her.  She always radiated when her magic was high.  It had driven them nuts for days until they had figured out what kept messing up machines.  "It's twice what it was when you had that cold," he said quietly, letting her see.

She went pale.  "That's really bad."

"It is," he agreed.  He looked at her.  "Can you consciously dump it?"

"Only if I'm in a trance."  She considered it.  "That level might take forever."

He patted her on the shoulder.  "Start now.  If we have to, we'll drug you down into that state, drop a feeding tube, and come visit you for a week or so."  She nodded, dropping down into her usual meditation state.  He watched the readings.  "Willow, it's growing," he said.  She groaned.  He looked, she was glowing brightly now.  So he had to fix this emergency in the making.  He knocked her out with the tranquilizer he had with him just in case.  She went limp.

He called Doctor Lam to join him and help him suck it out of her.  They decided on a semi-stasis state.  It wouldn't drop her fully down but fully enough to let them not need a feeding tube.  They could suck all the excess magical radiation out of her during it and she wouldn't feel a thing.  He stroked over her hair.  "You'll be fine.  We'll see you in a few weeks," he told her.  He started the stasis module and the leeching configuration.  Willow's glow slowly went up then started to fade again.  He stroked her hair again and she let it drain her better.  Apparently she was aware enough to dream.  "I'll check on you tomorrow."

He left, leaving it in the Doctor's hands.  He could understand the allure of having so much power at your fingertips.  He'd had that after that one machine had zapped him into nearly ascending.  It was the same level of power as he had registered.  It would've been so easy to try to keep it, or try to reach the ascended state again, but he knew he'd always want more knowledge and that would take it from him.  It would've taken him from Atlantis and life.  He couldn't allow that.

***

John called Xander, making him relax about two less threats suddenly.  That only left the one.  He had a sneaking suspicion about things.  He went to find Buffy, finding her head down in her office.  "New event?"

"Yes," she mumbled.  "Formal dress I can't rewear."

"So take them to a consignment shop or donate them to a charity.  There's one that gives underprivileged girls prom gowns."

Buffy looked up.  "I could like that."  She smiled.  "You look worried."

"If the main Council house in Cleveland is attacked, how much ordinance do you have stored that might explode and destroy the world?"

She considered it.  "A few pieces of light artillery the last I knew but Xander has been in charge," she admitted.  "We can go look if you want."

"Tonight?"

"Definitely."  He grinned.  "Why?"

"Willow's taking her long nap.  The girls are back from Germany.  That leaves your ex's suicidal mission to kill you all as a current problem."

"And seeing if Wolfram and Hart is doing something else."

"Does it never end for you guys?"

"No," she sighed.  "We wish sometimes *so* hard but wish demons haven't been obliging yet."

"Okay.  We'll go over for dinner?"

"Sure.  Andrew's back and he's a pretty good cook," she promised with a grin.  Jack walked past.  "Want to eat dinner with Faith and the girls?" she called.

"Can't.  I'll be on the Eisenhower."

"Why?" John called.

"New rank day for a general, I served with him and it's long overdue."

"Sure.  We're going to see if the house has any issues that might come up if Finn tries it."

Jack looked at him.  "Don't tell me they have artillery."

"Not much according to her."

"Yay," Jack said flatly. "Fix that shit, Sheppard."

"They might need it."

"Yay," he repeated just as flatly.  He walked off shaking his head.

John looked at her.  "So I guess we can have an early dinner if you want."  She texted that to Faith and then put her head back down.  He laughed.  "Happy shopping, princess of the pink."

"I'm *so* going to wear something different this time to stop that name," she complained.  She looked up at him.  "Someone asked me if I was the Pink Power Ranger the other day.  It was a little girl so I couldn't get upset."

He laughed.  "Add some spice to your wardrobe."  He walked off cackling at that image.

"Mean shit," she muttered, putting her head back down.  "Bethany, we have to shop again," she called.

"Of course you do, you don't really have a winter wardrobe, Mrs. O'Neill."  She came in with her social calendar.  "Let's see, I'm seeing two formal events."  Buffy handed over the one from under her head.  "That's three then.  Hmm, one's in six weeks.  That's a bit soon.  We should also find you a designer that will make you look fantastic, yet not slutty."

"Versace?  I always wanted to try them," she mumbled.

"That may work, we'll have to make sure it's still tasteful," she decided.  "Come along.  That way you and the Colonel can go eat with your slayers.  Is Mr. Harris still single?"

"Yup, he only dates evil things."

"Pity.  If he liked nice women one of my sorority sisters thinks he's the cat's meow."

Buffy looked at her.  "Is she a bad girl?"

"No, she grew out of that phase."

"Then the next time he's in, ask him.  We'd all like him to date someone nice."

"I shall."  She gathered their jackets, Buffy's shopping card, and checked the balance on the way out.  They went to check out the Versace collection as requested.  They would do a lot of good for her figure. They had a few dresses that were a bit short but could be classy with the right accessories.  They got a good consult, found a suit that would look good on her, and a few other dresses for dates.  Nothing too risque of course.   For the formal ones, Buffy found three that she liked that were nice, but a bit too flashy and modern for a president's wife.

Her husband would definitely swallow his tongue about any of them.  "Well, one is for the Art Smithsonian," she admitted, looking at the black dress with the asymmetrical, ruffled ballgown skirt.  It looked gorgeous on her.   There was an off-white one with a chainmail looking corset that did wonderful things for her figure.  There were a few that were all covering that had a longer look but it was a shorter in front/longer in back or a high slit on it looking skirt.  A deep purple one with a neckline at the throat but it had a cutout over one breast that showed a bit of cleavage and skin that had a high slit.  Not really demure but pretty on her.  "You'll probably need five this year," Bethany told her.

Buffy considered it, picking the black silk banded, asymmetrical ballgown and the off white corset dress if they could change the corset to something less military oriented.  They talked to the designer and he knew what she wanted.  They purchased those and went to look at a few more fall collections and dresses.  Buffy found something for the Marine Corps Ball, which was months off, but she still would look nice next to her husband's dress uniform.  A few more outfits and then they went to clean out her closet of things that couldn't really be used over and what could be donated or sold at consignment.  She was good about that.  They decided to donate them.  Jack would be pleased about that.

Buffy leaned into John's office.  "We're donating some of the stuff I can't wear to the people that help by giving people clothes for interviews."

"If you wait until tomorrow I can clean out my own closet and donate a few things too," he agreed with a smile.  "Did you find something nice?"

"A few things."  She grinned.  "Versace was way cool and a lot like my style."  She walked off.  "Bethany, he said he'd clean out his closets tonight so we can donate them at the same time."

"That's fine, Mrs. O'Neill."  She smiled.  "All yours are boxed up.  The new things are hanging up.  That one dress will be ready in about three weeks."  Buffy smiled.  "You should call and warn them you're coming."

"I texted Faith," she said happily.  "Andrew's cooking."  She got a smile back.  "Anything else I have to do today?"

"No, not that I'm aware of.  Should I slip word that you're donating there?"

She shrugged.  "I don't want to make a big deal of it but it's the right thing to do."

"Good point."  She smiled and Buffy closed up her office, going to change into jeans and a t-shirt so she could go back to her sister slayers for the night.  John came out of his and joined her, getting them there.  She made a note to the press secretary so he could slip it in a good ear but that she didn't want to make a big deal of it.  Plus that nothing new was pink.  It was a big step in the right direction.

***

After the girls had dragged Buffy off to go over their homework, John looked at Xander.  "A question came up from Cam.  If they attack the house, how much of Cleveland will be blown up because the armory gets breached?" he asked quietly.

"I haven't stocked a lot."  He led him to the armory.

John found the nicely hidden door and looked then at him.  "I went to Pegasus with less than this, Xander."

He shrugged.  "Sometimes you need it.  Not like I want to have to break onto a reserve base to find something immediate."

"No, you probably shouldn't."  He went over everything.  "Is this the main armory?"

"Kinda.  Why?"

"Because the ATF would freak out," John said bluntly.

"We have an ATF agent who is now our arms master.  The Secret Service said so."

"Good idea."  He went to talk to him.  He knew Xander had to have some stuff hidden from them.  A failsafe, something.  Turns out the guy knew, had an inventory list, and was planning on talking to him about securing things better in case of demonic attack.  They sat down in the kitchen to go over what needed to happen in case it was Riley with a bomb in the armory instead of a demon with magic in the foyer.  It was a good talk and they got things worked out so things were safer.  Buffy came in to help during it, swatting him for not letting her pet the artillery.  John shook his head.  Gun nuts were strange, especially since she didn't like guns but loved artillery.

***

Jack walked into their apartment that night, looking around.  "Jacques, what's with the bags?" he called.

"Your wife cleaned out her closet to donate some things she couldn't wear," he said, coming out to take his suit from him so it could be cleaned.  "It gave her enough room for some new things."

"Huh.  When's the next formal thing?"

"The Art museum at the Smithsonian, sir."

"Hmm."  He went to browse in her closet.  It was nice, there was less pink.  He saw a gown bag and looked, blinking.  "Huh."  He closed it back up and walked out there.  "Did she want to surprise me?"

"I believe she more wanted to look like a proper sultry wife, sir."

"I'm sure she can."  He walked toward the bathroom.  "Have a good night, Jacques."

"You as well, sir."  He went to his own quarters for the night, happier that they were slowly eradicating the threat of pink in the white house.

Jack smiled.  His wife was bouncy but pretty and liked to stun him stupid at times.  He knew nothing about fashion but she always looked very nice.  He came out to sort through his own closet, putting some things in the bags with hers.  She came in and caught him doing it, earning a kiss.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  We've made sure the Council House won't explode the whole city if Riley does something stupid."  She took another kiss.  "Did you peek?"

"Just at the one black dress without a neckline.  Fairly daring," he teased.

"I look like the Goddess in it," she assured him.  She took another kiss.  "I'm all set for at least six months, pending an emergency formal thing."

"That's wonderful," he teased.

"I spent under nine grand."  He beamed at that.  "Of my own money."  He kissed her.  That was very thoughtful of her.  She was good about that.

***

The night of the art ball, John caught sight of them and stared, mouth slightly open.  "Wow," he decided.  "That's...  not your usual dress."

"I figured it'd go well around all the arty stuff," she quipped with a smile.

"Very well.  You look wonderful tonight as well, sir."

Jack snorted.  "I'm a frame for the picture of wonderfulness."

John nodded.  "She'll definitely fit in.  Have fun tonight and be safe."

"I doubt they'd be stupid enough to blow up a museum.  Though I don't remember if Riley likes art or not," she admitted.   John pointed at the guards, who got a look over.  "Brush your teeth," she sighed.  One went to do that.  "I meant Blinky, not you."  He went to do that too.  They waited, Jack shaking his head.  "Anyway, working late?"

"Yes, some stupidity got introduced and I'm working on how to stop it."

"Gun barrel to the head stupidity or lesser?" Jack asked.  John got him his copy, letting him read it.  "Yeah, gun barrel to the head stupidity."  He handed it back.  "Hell if I know. Ours have asylum."  He walked her off once the guards were back.  She really did look pretty in that dress.  Flashing just a bit of leg.  It'd probably look fantastic when they danced.  It also went well with the art theme of the museum.  He was going so mentally gushy she had to stop it by kissing him stupid.  Which always seemed to work for her.

***

Jack looked up as Maybourne was let into his office.  "What do you want?" he demanded.

"Three things.  Three submitted projects."

"You're NID.  If they're warning us, it's horrible."

Buffy strolled in, taking them to look over.  "Since we've now arrested six of you guys trying to kidnap my girls."  The man glared.  She glared back.  "I don't have a problem with thumping you around and it'll only make Jack coo at my bruised knuckles."  She read it over.  "One to get Ronon?"

"John's," Jack said quietly.  She handed over two when he held out a hand.  "Yours too."  He read them over.  "You know what?  I'm about to shut your people down," he told Maybourne.

"If you do, they go private sector, where they have zero oversight."

"But they can be arrested then," she pointed out dryly.  She smiled sweetly.  "For some reason the police hand the ones we have arrested to an agent, who releases them back to you."

"I haven't heard of any of us being arrested in Cleveland," he admitted.

"Oh, he won't go near Xander.  He's not that dumb.  He got near the girl in South Dakota twice.  He got near the LA team once and Dawn turned him back from the twisted looking amphibian creature she turned him into in the police station with a warning he had just tried to snatch her.  I about sent Xander out at them for that."

"I'm all for sending Xander at the NID," John said as he walked in.  He handed over the other one.  "I'm avoiding the senate today before I do shoot someone to put them out of the harm of the universe."  Jack read it over, handing over the NID programs.  "Huh.  Well, we have citizenship papers for Teal'c, Ronon, and Teyla, plus her son," he said bluntly.  "They can't get in the mountain or on the city."

"They can try," Maybourne warned.

"Then they can be shot," John said bluntly.  He handed them back to Buffy.  That got him given a dirty look.  "She'll send Xander at them and you won't have an agency."

Jack looked up.  "Who?"

"One of the fundies.  One of the really loud fundies."

"Fuck 'em," Jack muttered.  Buffy took it to look over then faxed it somewhere.  "Where is that going?"

"Willow's office to warn them since you guys have a few other lesser witches on staff."  She called Xander and read it to him.  He sent back a sigh and a 'come arrest the NID weenie parts' so he could handle it for her.  "They are terminally stupid.  One went against Xander."

"Oh, shit," John muttered.  "Buffy, are you missing any?"

"Not that I'm aware of but I'm being kept out of the loop.  Xander would know."

Jack looked at her.  "Not Giles?"

"Giles learned how to be a really good field watcher with me," Buffy told him.  "But he's doing good rebuilding things.  He doesn't really click with most of the girls.  He gives them a lot of confused looks.  He was way relieved to have Xander back in the US because he was being overloaded.  He's got the ultimate case of 'I have no idea what I'm doing but I'm doing the best I can' going on."

"I've had that," Jack admitted.  "I know Daniel said he's been very happy to have another book nerd around."  He looked at Maybourne.  "Can't you stop them?"

"Not fully," he admitted.  "I've tried.  There's a few universities that would allow the research on a genetics basis."

"Nope nope nope nope nope," Buffy said, shaking her head.  She looked at John.  "Want to go save his weenies that went against Xander?"

"If I could put out a presidential order I'd merge it with Area 51 and give them harsher oversight and ethics," John said.

Xander was let in dragging two agents and the agent with him dragging another.  "The federal government really can't do anything about these people, Mr. Harris," he mimicked.  "They're not covered under the Internal Affairs portions of any major agency and they only get grants from us.  They should be covered by civilian law enforcement."

The agent snorted.  "Civilian law enforcement isn't meant to handle researchers who have a bright idea and a microscope.  That's the FBI's job," he mimicked.  They dropped them.

Maybourne looked.  "They're not even the ones that gave the project to dissect a few of the slayers.  They are fired however."

"That's good.  One's also dead.  He tried to pounce one of the really young girls as she got off the bus and the officer had to shoot him to get him off her throat with the knife."  He handed over that picture.  "I'm going to start shooting them soon.  I'm sorry but I'm not liking this risk and I'll be damned," he told Jack.  He looked at his agent.  "So, we done?"

"Probably not."

"The girls are panicky and we left Faith in charge."

"Good point.  I'll go.  You explain."  He smirked and left.

Xander looked at Jack again.  "For some reason he thinks I'm scary too," he said dryly.  He looked at the guy he didn't know.  He had to be the NID weenie Buffy had wanted saved from.  "Are you like them?"

"No."

"Then why can't you stop them?"

"They'll take them private sector."

"I say we trade them all to Iran for the three civies they arrested for daring to hike," Xander said.

"That would cause more problems, Xander.  They need to be contained."

"So put someone like Frau over them," Xander said with a small shrug.  "Only less Nazi."

"I like the idea to merge them with Area 51," John admitted.  "Much stricter oversight."

"Not that much but there is a project where they can have that sort of browbeating."  He called that director up to talk to him.  She was more than pleased to take the failures to science in and beat them for them.  "Maybourne, you're being reassigned.  They're going under Gretchen Wilders."  Maybourne shuddered.  "Exactly."  He smirked evilly at his former nemesis.  "Guys?" he called.  His guards came in and glared at Xander.  "I was wondering why you let them drag them in."

Xander dug out one's ID, holding it up with an evil smirk of his own.  Jack snatched it and glared at his guards, who shrugged.  "We have no idea, sir, we were calling our boss."  They frisked the others, finding their ID's.  "This one's a project I know nothing about."

Jack took it to look at.  "That's Gretchen's person already.  I'll lay down the law about that."  He smirked at Maybourne.  "I want a list of all those who went private recently and their projects."

"Sure.  Am I being officially shut?"

"Yup."

"Fine.  Make me retire and hunt."

"If you're going to start hunting demons, make sure they're doing bad things, not all of them," Buffy ordered.  "Also, stock up on rock salt and silver."  He shook his head, walking out.

"Two days," Jack called after him.  He looked at Xander.  "You didn't have to drag them."

"The FBI said for me to bring them to you," he admitted.  "That this was beyond their mandate, they had seen all three of these guys before, and had no idea how to stop them.  Our local Homeland office has their thumbs up their asses again so they refused to even consider arresting them."

"That'll change," Jack muttered.  "Who?"  Xander pulled off a wire and handed it over with a smirk.  "Thanks, kid."

"I have the last few's tapes in the desk at the office."

"Even better.  John can come get them tonight."

John nodded at that.  "Are they working with NID, sir, or possibly Riley Finn?"

"I don't know yet," Jack said, looking at his guards.  "Figure that out for me."

"Yes, sir."  They had them carted off to be talked to.  Doing that was almost at the level of treason because it was taking out the protectors of the United States.

"Can't I smite my ex?" Buffy sighed, sitting down.

"You should ask Giles if he can beat him again.  Riley barely got away from him and Jackson last night."  Buffy stared at him.  "He's fine.  Kamria was with them and spotted him.  Giles questioned him but wouldn't tell me what he got."

"He'll tell me," she said, calling him.  "Giles, Buffy.  What did Riley say when you beat the snot out of him?  I am sitting here with my husband and he is pissed off about Riley too since he tried to kill him.  Thanks."  She hung up.  "Daniel emailed it to you, Jack."

He got into his email, finding it in the SG account.  He scanned the tape then let them see it.  That was really bad.

"Why is it my fault?" Xander demanded.

"CPR?" Buffy guessed.

"Maybe," he admitted.

"You're more easily killed than Willow," John pointed out.  "Plus that would change the slayers a lot."  He kept going, nodding.  "I'm so adding to your guards, Xander."

"We don't need armed guards.  The girls would pounce them," Xander complained.  "They'd become armed pets."

"Teal'c said Istha wanted to see if her warriors were any good against slayers," Jack said, considering it.  "Ronon and Teyla might too."

"Her son," John said quietly.

"True, that's a dangerous spot to bring him."  He looked at him.  "Ask?"

"I can do that."  He smiled at Xander.  "We'll make sure the girls know they're not pets."

"They'll still be cooed at pets," Buffy assured him dryly.  "My girls are usually girly girls."

"It'll be fine," John assured her.  "Sir, Istha?"

"I'll ask Teal'c," he said, calling Landry to pass that on.  And the warning about the NID.  Xander got paged back home by a social worker, making him groan and go back to explain why humans were attacking their girls.  Buffy went back to help with that too.

***

Ronon was let into the house by John, Teyla and her son behind him.  Behind them were three of Istha's warriors and a few Marines who wanted to do something down here.  John walked around them.  "Guys, this is the Slayer house in Cleveland."

Faith leaned out of the kitchen.  "Are we giving tours?  Because half of us are in jammies."

"No, these guys are here to help you," John said with a smile.  "These are people that Jack and I trust to help you."

"Cool."  She walked out, looking at the big, buff guy in front.  She smirked.  "You look powerful."

"Ronon's one of the best warriors I've seen," John told her with a smile.  "He's here to help with the sparring and all that."

"We have a few of the really mini here," she warned him.  "Ladies, fall in, visitors," she called.

"I have stuff on my face," one called.

"So?"  They came tromping down the stairs.  All twenty of the girls stared at them, one grinning shyly at Teyla and waving at her son.

"Teyla is an excellent warrior," John told them with a grin.  "Ronon is too.  We found both of them in Pegasus.  Ronon's the sort to be pretty damn scary when he wants to be.  Teyla's here to help with some training you girls might not have.  She teaches an armed combat style with bantos rods.  These three fine warriors are from a tribe that mimics the Amazon way because the person who had them enslaved hated women."  The girls all smiled at them.  "The last are a few guys from the base that wanted to come help you ladies.  They're all about to time out of the Marines.  They wanted to try this to see if they might make good field watchers."

"Cool beans," Faith said, nodding.  "That'll work and we have rooms."

Xander appeared in a flash of light.  "Dawn's seriously nagging Sam today.  Early mood swing and now she's crying on him like she's beaten him.  I advised him to do her more, it'd help her moods."  He looked around.  "Ladies, we will not hit on them unless they seem receptive and if they seem receptive to those of you who are under age, they're toast," he said.  "Kylia, some goop in your eyebrow."

"I had an ingrown hair," she complained.

"Fine.  Take them up to settle them in.  Andrew, extra people to feed."

"Good!  And you forgot lunch.  Don't make me nag.  Buffy said I had to."

"I was off beating the hell out of NID people," he shot back.  "I got a latte when I went to calm Dawn down."  He spotted the kid and smiled, waving.  "Hi, little guy."  He smiled and waved back.  "We have a crib around here somewhere for him if you want, Teyla."  She smiled and nodded.  "Girls.  Orders.  Shoo."  They led them up to the empty rooms.  He looked at Faith, who was staring at Ronon's backside.  "You're an adult," he reminded her.  "He's an adult.  Spar with the man."  He looked at John then walked off.  "I'll try to protect their virginity, boss, but I can't be certain it'll stick."

"That's fine, Xander.  They're big people, they can beat off anyone who needs it."  He smiled at Faith.  "He's very strong, Faith, but don't break him."

"If he's breakable I'd probably never try."

"Everyone is breakable," he pointed out dryly.  "He can play though."

She smirked and went to introduce herself.  She was the technical head slayer of the house.  The girls were either chatting with Teyla or talking with the warrior women so that left the studly one all for her.  "Sparring after dinner," she reminded them.  They went to get the gym ready.  They had been messy earlier.  She smirked at Ronon.  "So, how breakable are you?"

He smirked back.  "Not very.  Are you willing to try?"

She looked him over.  "A whole lot."  She walked off with a smirk.

He stared at her.  "She was making a pass?" he asked quietly.  Teyla smiled and nodded.  "Good.  We'll see if she's worthy during sparring."  He went to check on their gym and armory.  In case they needed more things.

***

John reappeared after the post-dinner sparring with Buffy.  "They are so happy to have other warriors to learn from.  Teyla's son will never learn to walk and think that cooing is a language down here.  The Amazons agreed Teyla was very good.  Ronon nearly growled in pleasure at Faith's performance.  I think it'll work and those marines might make good field watchers."

"They might," Buffy agreed.  "They've seen stranger."  She smiled at her tired looking husband, moving to work on his neck again.  It always helped him.  "Budget or Germany?"

"Germany."  He patted her hands.  "Maybourne said that someone came up with a retrovirus against vampires.  That it'd kill the virus that's keeping them alive."  She purred at that.  "That's chemical warfare though."

"Drop it in one nest and watch it go sort?" she asked.  He nodded.  "Will he turn it over to the Council?"

"No.  It's dangerous, Buffy, and a bad precedent to set."

She sighed.  "I know.  But so are stake shooters and a few of the hunters have figured those out."

He smirked.  "That might be handy, yeah."

"They look like Rambo with them."

"Probably," John agreed.  "But handy when you have to take down a nest."

"Anything on them goes bye-bye though, including information and jewelry."

"What do people do with the things left in nests?" Jack asked.

"In the old days it fed our Chinese and pizza habits during research and bought wood for stakes.  These days, we donate it somewhere and the regular hunters probably take it.  They don't get paid so they probably need it."  She slid into his lap.  "I know one of the hunters Dean knows ran into a demon that was selling arms while keeping an unwilling harem."  Jack shuddered.  "He ended the demon, released the harem, and went looting.  When he found the weapons room he took what he could reasonably have and then called the ATF."

"That's probably why they were giving you dirty looks," John quipped.

"Probably," Jack agreed.  "How many demon arms dealers are there?"

"I don't know, ask Xander?" she suggested with a smile.  "I'd only coo over the artillery, honey."  She took a quick kiss and got back to work on his neck.  She smirked at John.  "Bored?"

"Incredibly so."  He walked out with a wave over his shoulder.  "Have fun, guys."

Jack smirked.  "He thinks I'm much more wild than I am."

She shrugged.  "It's all good in the end.  If dreaming about us makes him have happies I'm fine with it."

He snickered, giving her a hug.  "I'll be up on about an hour."

"I'm going to soak then."  She winked and walked off.

Jack smirked.  That means he'd have a soft, nice smelling, newly shaved wife waiting on him upstairs.  He got back to the dreaded mundane crap that annoyed him so much.  He kept repeating over and over 'two and a half more years'.  It was cheering him up more than the wife could.

Precursor To An Election Night Drama.

John Sheppared walked into the ambush.  He knew the ambush was there.  He had seen them from his window.  Still an ambush and not even the Secret Service could keep the reporters away.  "Yes, ladies and gentlemen?  Was it this important that you had to interrupt my planned PT run?"

"Sir, you've been seen in the Slayer house in Cleveland," one shouted.  "Are you seeing someone there?"

"No.  Yesterday I was dropping off some friends who are excellent warriors who wanted to talk to them.  Plus a few Marines who are seeing if they'd like to be field watchers.  I'm not seeing anyone."

"Sir, we see you a lot with Mr. Harris," one shouted.  "Are you friends?"

"Xander's a great guy," he said with a grin and a small shrug.  "Half the time you see him he's dealing with something and I'm in the way."

"Are you maybe seeing him?" another one shouted.  He glared.  "It would be a good match, sir, and you might calm him down when he's bouncy."

"No, I'm not gay, people."

"Is he gay?"

"I've never asked him," he said sarcastically.  "Go ask him that, not me."

"I'm sure our affiliates up there will," another said.  "Sir, we hear there's a threat to the Slayers?  Is this going to compromise national security?"

"No.  This is another branch of the conspiracy to kill them all that got stopped a few years back.  I'll have the press secretary prepare a briefing on that if you guys are that interested."

"Is that related to the presidential limo being shot at when you got back from vacation?" she asked.  The others were staring at her oddly.

"Yup."  He grimaced.  It figured he'd get half entertainment reporters and a few serious ones thrown in to jinx the mix.  "I got a concussion from it.  Jack got a headache from being banged around.  Evan Lorne broke his wrist.  That's how we found out, one of them is the ex-boyfriend of a slayer."

"So, this conspiracy won't affect everyone?"

"Not unless there's another mega apocalypse," he offered.  "We're working with them to stop it."  That got more pictures taken.  He stretched and a few more got taken, making him smirk.  "You're interrupting my run, people.  I need to stay in shape to get away from all the name hunting bimbos."  They cooed and he smirked, taking off jogging.  Flash some ab and a bit of a grin at a reporter and they always got out of his way.  Jack should try that sometime.

"Sir, how do you like Mrs. O'Neill's new look?" one called after him.

"Buffy wanted to thrill her husband, and apparently it worked," he called back.  "She looked good."  He turned the corner, his guards on each side of him.  "God, I feel like I was sucked at by a wraith," he muttered.  They laughed.  "Ten miles today, guys?"

"If we must, sir," one agreed.

"Yes we must, in case I end up in a battle again."  It was better, he was free soon.  Just two and a half more years.  Then he could go back to being a colonel.  He had already quashed the rank raise idea going around.  He didn't want to go play politics at the Pentagon after this.  It might make him start sniping politicians.  Which might be a bad thing.

***

Xander saw the ambush and walked out with the girls. "If you make them miss the bus, I'm staking all of you," he warned.  They got out of the slayers' way.  "No pictures of the girls.  You know better.  Don't make me confiscate things."  That one quit taking pictures, giving him a sheepish look.  "Why the ambush tactics, people?"

"Are you gay?"

"Technically I'm bi with a strong leaning toward women but now and then gay sex doesn't sound so bad.  Especially with some of the women I've dated," he said dryly.  "Why else are you bothering us this morning?  That's not newsworthy enough."

"The Vice President has been seen here recently a few times, sir."

"Yes, he got us some wonderful people to help train the girls to a higher standard and a few new possible field watchers, plus to help us with the conspiracy to kill all the girls that's going on again.  Buffy was with him to have dinner with the slayers."  He shrugged.  "And?"

"Sir, are you seeing him?"

"He's never flirted with me, shown that it might be good, clean, messy fun, or that he likes guys.  Why would we be dating?  Are you smoking more than the usual crack?  Did someone lace it on you?"  The others laughed.  "Seriously, people, there's got to be real news somewhere else.  Faith just got in from patrol and you're keeping her from sleeping."  They fled at that threat.  He walked inside, slamming the door, shaking his head.  "I have no idea what they laced their usual crack with."

Faith looked at him from the couch.  "I'm a good threat," she joked.

He blew a kiss.  "One of the best.  The only better one is Buffy in jammies with anti-zit goop on her face in the middle of the night.  Should've seen the vamps flee that patrol."  He went to the kitchen to get some coffee.  Dawn appeared with a pout.  "Don't you have to stop that sometime soon?"

"No," she pouted. "Sam's mean, Xander."

He stared at her.  "He's supposed to be celebrating the baby, Dawn."

"He said we can't."

"Bullshit.  He read the wrong article.  Have your OB straighten that out."  She nodded, going back to pounce him again, even if he didn't like it.  He rolled his eyes.  Andrew added extra chocolate syrup to his coffee.  "Thanks, 'Drew."  He went to bed.  He had been up all night talking with the Amazons.  They had wondered how he drew evil women, that way they could use it to find any spies they had.  He had offered to come up for a bit but Ronon had shaken his head that wasn't going to be allowed.  Which was a pity.  Xander might like playing with the amazons.

Faith shook her head, laying back down to catch a few more hours of sleep.  Xander was seriously insane these days.  She had no idea what had done it to him in Africa, but clearly that's when it had begun.  Now it was the girls finishing it off.  And hers probably too.  She needed a vacation and a hot guy between her thighs.  She decided to give up on sleep and go find Ronon.  He was a great sparring partner and if she knocked him down....  All good on her, right?

***

John walked out of a senate hearing to a single reporter waiting on him.  That was nice of her.  "What?" he asked as he walked past her.

"I'm not actually here for you today, sir."  He beamed at her for that so she snapped a picture.  "When are you going to announce you're running for president?"

"I'm not running for president.  I'm looking forward to being a simple colonel again," he said with a smile.  "If you're stalking the wench from Louisiana, she missed today."

"I was," she admitted.  "She's hiding in her office."  She smirked.  That was a really bad cheating scandal and she wanted to shout a few more questions at her.  She did send back what she had already.  Maybe they could O'Neill him?  The world was a safer place with him and O'Neill in office.

***

John looked out at the sound of his assistant giggling.  "What happened now?"

"The new ad for you, sir."  She reran the video, letting him see it.

"No!  I'm not running," he complained, moaning to go bitch to Jack.  "They're doing it to me now."

"The press secretary says it's called O'Neilling," Buffy chirped from her seat and paperwork.  "Tax time?"

"Eww.  Don't remind me."  He looked at Jack.  Who could only shrug.  "I said I'm not running."

"So did I.  Look where it got me."

"No steak for a while," Buffy quipped.

John scowled at her.  "That's mean."  He walked off pouting.  He went to the press secretary.  "I am *not* running."

"Yes, sir, I've said that a few times now.  Apparently they're going to O'Neill you into office anyway."  He smiled.  "Most people say they feel safer with you two in office.  Then you can appoint Evan Lorne as your VP."

John gave him a dirty look.  "He'd shoot me.  He's gotten mean recently without me there to pick on him."  He went back to his office to sulk.  Buffy got him some ice cream from the kitchen, which made him a bit happier, but still pouty.  It was like his life was on hold until he got out of DC for good.  Because this was driving him nuts.  He wished he was back in Pegasus fighting for his life some days.

Your life was sad when you missed being stalked by the wraith.

Yeah, he had to get out of DC soon.  Maybe those nice press people that stalked him would like to overhear an impolite rant?

***

Jack walked past John's office the next morning snickering.  "It won't work," he called.  "I tried that too."

"Bite me," he called.  He was still pouty.  He had even stolen Buffy's chocolates.  Why couldn't they let him go?  He'd do almost anything to get out of DC short of a wish demon.

Buffy leaned in.  "Even thinking the w-word can draw them," she noted.  "And you're buying me a new box since I have PMS."  She went to her own office to deal with first lady things.  "Why am I doing the household budget?" she asked that folder.  She sat down to muddle through it.  Not like she had ever paid rent or anything in her life.  She got it to the point where it looked reasonable to her and went to find Jack.  "Does that look reasonable?"

He looked then at her.  "We don't eat that much," he said with a smile.

She huffed.  "I moved from mom's to college to Cleveland.  Mom or Giles took care of all that bill paying stuff."

He pulled her closer to go over all the bills with her.   She nodded and made adjustments, which made it more humanly possible.  He even nicely put in a shopping allowance for her needs.  He was making big bucks right now, he could do that and she had to look nice all the time.  Though, the jeans she was wearing....  He blocked that thought out, he had staff meetings all day and then a meeting with the ambassador for Spain.  She kissed him and took the folder with her to her office when staff members started to come in.  She could work on the 'income' portion herself.  She knew how much she got a month and what he made.  "We seriously need a weekend at the cabin away from all this stuff," she muttered.  "He gets two weeks of vacation a year."

Her assistant leaned in.  "I can check his book to see when a good time is, Mrs. O'Neill."

Buffy beamed.  "Please?  Even just a weekend away from all this paperwork?"

"I'll check."  She went to talk to Chuck about that.  They did need some newlywed time.  They had taken the least time off any sitting president and handled fewer crises.  That's why she was voting for Sheppard even if he was squeamish about taking the reins.

***

Buffy walked up to Jack that night.  "There will be no crisis next week."

"You saying that means there will be," he pointed out.  He looked up and smiled.  "Why won't there be?"

"Thursday we're heading to the cabin so you can fish."  She smiled.  She walked off.   "I even got you a new fishing lure."

He grinned, shaking his head.  He did love his goofball wife.  He could imagine her in the bait shop by the Potomac talking about what to fish for in a cabin lake.  He finished up and went to make sure he had jeans and t-shirts ready.  She had already packed the bag and had it beside the doorway for them.  "Only one bag?" he teased.

She smirked.  "I only need jeans, t-shirts, my sneakers, and some cute lingerie I found, dear."

He kissed her.  "That might be nice."  He took another one and went back to the office.  That gave him something to look forward to.  He got the notice from his chief of staff.  "Why are we making a diplomatic trip?"

"To pay them back for coming to see us a few years ago."

"Can John go?"

"Definitely.  Their daughters are all crushing hard on him."  He went to tell John that.  He liked to get a bit gussied up and be admired.  Sometimes.  "Sir."  John looked up at him.  "Diplomatic trip.  It got delegated to you so the press can't follow Buffy around wondering why she's wearing chunky heels again."  He handed over the information sheet.  "They do like you just as much and the girls are all crushing hard on your poster.  They're eight, ten, and twelve months."  He smiled and walked off.

"Do I have to bring a gift?" he called.

"Yes.  We'll pick one out for you."

"Cool with me," he decided.  "At least I'll get out of DC for a while."  He checked his schedule and decided he could slip back to his real office for a few hours.  He disappeared after calling for a beam out.  He could whine at Rodney about being crushed on by little girls.  Evan would enjoy him complaining too.  He found Rodney watching Willow nap and smiled.  "Are you perhaps crushing a bit?" he taunted with an evil smirk.

"No, not at the moment.  She's very nice but likes girls."  He looked back.  "Snuck away again?"

"Yup, after being told I'm going on a diplomatic trip soon."  He came in to look at her.  "How's she doing?"

"Good.  She's drained over half of it out of her.  It's going faster the longer it goes."  He looked up.  "Hiding from politicians?"

"Yup.  Bring you back anything from Europe?"

"You could bring my sister back."

"I can probably arrange to swing by Canada and visit," he said dryly.  He smirked and went to find Evan since Rodney was busy moping and in lust.  He came back and told him about Oz, explaining why she liked girls, and what Buffy had told him about Tara.  Rodney smiled at that so he left him in his sighs of 'I'd tap that'.  "Evan," he called when he spotted him.

"If you're going to coopt me like O'Neill did you, sir, go back to DC."

"Hell no!  I'm escaping right now."  He smiled.  "You sure?  I'm trying really hard to get out of staying in DC."

"The news this morning had you ahead in all polls," Evan said with a mean smirk.

"Damn."

"Uh-huh.  So go sleep with someone skanky or something.  That should help."

"The republicans would all appreciate that too much."

"So go sleep with Harris.  They seem to like that idea."

John snorted.  "No thanks.  I need help hiding."

"We won't even have beef tonight, sir."  John laughed and nodded.  They walked off together to catch up and relax.  "Have you seen McKay moping over Rosenburg yet?" he asked quietly.

"Yup.  I told him some things Buffy told me."  He grinned.  "They'd be adorably dorky babies some year."  Evan nodded he agreed.  They settled in the office.  For some reason this paperwork wasn't so bad anymore.  He was a lot happier with Atlantis than he was in DC.  Why couldn't people see that?

***

Xander watched the reporter speculate on who John Sheppard, who had unfortunately won the primaries, would take as his Vice President.   He was starting to get a bad feeling about this.  "And just before an apocalypse battle too," he quipped.   "Well, maybe he'll get injured and they'll let him retire."  He went back to checking all the weapons over.  This was really going to be nasty.  Very, very nasty.   It was even going to be in Virginia this time over a hellgate they hadn't known was there.  Dean was going there already to see if he could disable it.  Unfortunately it was inside a classified building as far as he knew.  Which would mean they'd need Presidential help.  He went to talk to their arms master about that issue.  Before it got out of hand.

***

John got the note from Cleveland and groaned.  "Jack, another one," he called.  He walked it that way, meeting Jack in the hallway.  "Your wife's backup people."  He let him read it.

Jack grimaced.  "That sucks."

"Muchly.  That's a classified building too."

"That doubly sucks.  Let me find out what they're doing.  They're probably screwing something up."  He went back to his office to call around.  This was not good timing.  John may get hurt really badly so he could retire.  The people running against him were morons who'd screw up worse than Jack had.  He wasn't sure he was ready for that yet.

***

Xander dove into the battle with the aliens, which was freaky to him, and demons, which was kinda normal.  How they had merged he wasn't sure, but it was ugly.  He saw the beamed in people and sighed in relief.  He and the girls were stumbling badly today.  The soldiers had energy weapons.  "Fall back behind the soldiers, girls.  Guard them," he ordered.  They moved to protect them and Xander moved to us usual spot, in front by Faith, and as it happened John Sheppard and Evan Lorne.  "How did they get together?" he asked.

"I have no idea," John admitted.

"We were going to ask you that," Evan quipped.  Dean dove out of the way of a weapons discharge that took the demon's hand off.  Evan went to back him up since he was a pretty decent fighter and the girls were listening to him.

Xander got hit with something, he wasn't sure what, only that it had been meant for John and he was in the way.   He fell onto John, knocking him out of the way of another one.

Faith got them both out of harm's way and got that alien.  "Andrew!" she shouted.  "Evacuate!"  She pointed.  He floated them off to the paramedics already arriving.  She dove back into the battle.  John got to come back a few minutes later but the demons were really gunning for him.  Xander wobbled over, holding his side, but dove back in.  "Injured," she complained.

"Yay.  I've fought with worse.  When I'm drunk sometime, ask me about fighting a group of sacrificing, flesh eating demons with a concussion and two gunshot wounds," he quipped.  She glared at him.  "It was necessary!  I was by myself too before you say shit."

"Fine.  We'll talk about that later."  Buffy, Jack, and their guards showed up with some people from the Mountain's forces.  "Yay, reinforcements."

"Wonderful, why are they arming a bomb?" he asked.  He pointed.  "Bomb!"  They all backed away from there.  Xander texted something to someone as they moved and a case fell at his feet with a note on top that they owed him majorly.  He opened it and pulled out the weapon.  John tried to take it but Xander snatched it back.  "Specially created," he warned.  He turned it on the demon and alien brigade and fired.  It left with a plume of smoke and exploded near their bomb, which destroyed it before it could go off.  It also fumed out and killed the aliens.  "Ladies, that's your job," he called.  They rushed back in, Buffy and Faith in the lead.

Someone came over to confiscate the weapon.  "Who made that?" he demanded.

"It's based off a formula some guy named Zelenka had a few years back.  One of the weapons dealing demon clans had it for an off-world war."  He dove back in and the fight was slowly being cleaned up.  The soldiers were still helping, and that was nice of them, but Xander got hit again on the wound and went down with a groan.  John got him out of harm's way, letting him lean on him.  "Damn, I feel old," he complained.

"You and me both, Xander."  He walked him to the paramedics.  Xander spotted one and shot him as the guy was pulling a gun.  "Conspiracy?"

"Yuppers."  He guarded John while the Secret Service rushed over to grab those people.   Two were real paramedics so John turned Xander over to them while he helped his guards round up the problem people.  "How many slayers went?" Xander called.

"Three but Andrew went with them," John said.

He called Andrew.  "We found conspiracy guys with the ambulance crews, 'Drew."  He hung up and winced, holding his side.  That ached like hell.  He was bleeding again too.  "Guys, bleeding some.  Can I get a pressure bandage or something?"  They took him off, letting him calm himself down on the way to the ER.  Too bad they hadn't checked the driver of the ambulance or whether or not there were gas canisters.

John looked around, shaking his head.  "Track the ambulances," he ordered.  They nodded and rushed off, leaving him in good hands with the rest of the Secret Service patrol and his former units.  John looked at his people.  "Clean this shit up.  Then we'll fade."  They nodded, wading in to finish all this off.  John got a call saying that the conspiracy people had Xander.  He and two teams went to rescue him since it was a day of emergencies.  The Secret Service went with them of course.  They really hated it when John rushed into things that way.

***

Xander woke up in a hospital room, blinking at the women beside him.  "Did I lose any vital organs?"

"About a foot of intestine," Faith said with a small shrug.  "Would've been your appendix too but you already had that out."

"Yeah, way back when."  He made the bed sit up.  "How many did we lose?"

"Three," Buffy admitted, swallowing.  "Their funerals are tomorrow."

"I'll be there."

She relaxed.  "You're still not a slayer."

"I've faced more danger than you have."

"So I'm hearing.  Which doesn't make me happy.  We wouldn't have let you go to Africa if we knew how dangerous it was."

He gave her a dirty look.  "I nearly got burned at the stake once too," he quipped.  "They thought the eyepatch meant I was an evil witch there to destroy them."  She shuddered.  "I'll be fine."

"Good.  The girls wanted to fuss," Faith warned.

He nodded.  "They usually do."  He grinned.  "I'll be there for the funeral then heal in my room at home."

"If they let you out," Buffy warned.  "They might not."

"I can sign myself out.  I've had worse than this."  She glared at him.  He stared back.  She huffed finally and let it go.  "Anything else I should hear?"

"There's a push to get John Sheppard to name you his VP candidate," Faith offered.

"Hell no!" he shouted.

"Oh, yes," Buffy said with a grin.  "You can be the next Scoobie in the White House."

"They can't want me.  Not with how bad I did in school and things."

"Apparently you make them feel safe and other world leaders are just as scared of you," Buffy said with a grin.  She patted him on the hand.  "I'll give you fashion advice."  They got up and left him in his misery.  It served him right for getting so injured.

***

John looked at the press people.  "I'm still not running," he told them.

"That's fine, sir, we'll O'Neill you into office," one quipped.  John glared.  "How is Mr. Harris?"

"I'm told he's fine.  I was going to check on him later since he took that shot to protect me."  He pointed at another one.  "What?"

"Sir, there's a move to name him your VP."

"He'd hate it more than I would.  Beyond that, I don't know what party he votes or even if he votes."  They nodded at that.  They didn't look too concerned.  He'd have to warn the kid.  "Is there anything else that's not about that headache making subject?"

"Sir, how are your city's soldiers?"

"They're fine.  A few have minor injuries.  I checked on them last night."  They wrote that down.  "Before you can ask, Landry's people are just about the same as mine."  That got another note made.

"Is the President injured or his wife?"

"She's a bit bruised.  He's got a few too.  Got a graze pulling her out of the way of an energy beam.  Otherwise she's babying him like he's really injured today."  They all smiled.  "Anything about something other than the battle?"

"Sir, if one happened in another country, would the slayers and your teams go?"

"I'd hope we could trust the local soldiers enough to let them jump in.  The slayers are committed to going anywhere there's an apocalypse battle.  Even if it's an unfriendly country.  I doubt even Iran would like to fall to a demon horde.  Some places like that have been training soldiers in how to deal with it after figuring out they're screwed because they didn't want slayers.  So they're handling it on their own.  Our soldiers would only go if asked."

"Have you talked to any other world leaders today?"

"Nope, not planning on it today either," he quipped.  "Though the Japanese ambassador sent me a very nice bottle of scotch last night in thanks for winning that.  His wife is due any day now and he was hoping it wasn't going to be during that."  He pointed at one.  "Anything else?  I have things I have to swear at today before I'm nagged by the Senate."

"How many of the slayers were injured?"

"Buffy didn't give me a count but I know six got evacuated due to injuries.  Two more attempted kidnapings from the battle, one by that conspiracy group and one by someone who wanted her as a girlfriend and was worried she'd be hurt.  The Secret Service rescued both of them."

"We heard Mr. Harris was captured by that same conspiracy group and you personally went on his rescue?" one shouted from the back.

John looked at her.  "Did you have too much coffee?  You're sounding hyper.  Yes I did. I figured I'd even out all the times he's helped save me."  He walked off shaking his head.  This was really looking bad again.  "I'm still not running," he called.

"We know, sir."  They got back to work ignoring his huffing like a girl over being a future president with Harris as his VP.  He'd get used to it.

***

John snuck into Xander's hospital room, looking at him.  "Sorry if they ask if we're dating."

Xander waved a hand, giving him a smirk.  "They asked that before.  I'm almost used to that one.  Are you going to the funerals tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I am."  He came over.  "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty decent for having been tortured.  They tell me the liver damage will heal."

"That's good."  He grinned.  "They're getting pushy."

"I heard from Buffy.  She said she'd give me fashion advice."  They both rolled their eyes.  "If Iran would like we can train some of their soldiers to nearly be as good as a slayer."

"They think they have a unit that is."

"Then invite one to spar with Buffy.  Or Faith."

"True.  A few want to test their people's skills."  He leaned on the foot of the bed.  "When do you get out?"

"Tomorrow for the funerals.  Then I'll rest at home and lock the door so the girls can't fuss."

"With that sort of damage?"

"Even if I'm in a wheelchair," he said, looking totally serious.

"They can take you and bring you back."

"That would leave me in a hospital bed," he pointed out dryly.  "I'd like to escape."

"You'll need home care and a lot of doctor checks for that damage."

"Dawn's already vowed to drag me to the docs with her."  John snickered at that.  "She's a pushy pregnant woman.  I don't know why Sam isn't curing that for her."

"That's fine.  They're both in town.  I saw Dean earlier."

"That's cool.  They needed to be here for the funeral too," he agreed.  "So, how's things otherwise?"

"Fine.  Nosy but fine."  He patted him on the foot.  "Get better and thanks."  Xander looked clueless.  "You took that energy bolt shot for me, Xander."  He smiled and left.  It figured the guy would play clueless about that.  They went back to John's house and got comfortable for the night.  He wasn't watching the news.  It would give him bad nightmares again.  He did write a formal letter to the other leaders who had slayer units about possibly getting them some sparring time with the senior slayers so they could see how they measured up.  They could do it in private so the guys wouldn't be embarrassed.

***

Xander came in from the funeral and went to puke.  "I thought that was Dawn's job," Dean called since he walked in next.

"No, that's the liver damage," Sam told him.  "I'm so finding him someone good to look at that for him."  He went to look up liver specialists online.  Xander needed to be healed or the girls would be horrible and mourn for years.  Xander came out and went right to bed, as he had promised he would.  "John Hopkins is a few hours away by plane," he said, considering it.  His brother and wife gave him an odd look.  "It's a good hospital."

"True," Dean agreed.  "It's not that far away."  He looked at Buffy since she was walking in.  "Xander's in bed after puking."

"We all know he should be in the hospital," she pointed out.  "I was going to send him at one of the single slayers to help her for a bit near a decent hospital."

"John Hopkins."   Sam let her see it.

She smiled and found the phone number to call and talk to them about his problem.  They agreed to see him as a patient.  She and Dawn could get him there later that day.  Even if he was asleep during the transport.  The doctors looked over the records from the last hospital and his medical history, deciding to put him in a bed immediately, before he woke up.  That stopped all that fussing and the girls could bring him jammies and things.  Plus it would mean there might be a slayer local for a while to take care of the zombie problem they were having.

***

Buffy was walked into the press room.  "Martin said one of you guys had a question for me?"

"Mrs. O'Neill, where did Mr. Harris get admitted to?"

"John Hopkins after the funeral.  He wasn't as healed as he had hoped.  My sister got him there while he was napping and they agreed he should be in a bed.  Her husband found a very good liver person."

"Liver?"

"That shot he took for John was in his side, just below it, and then my ex decided to try to torture him a bit.  For which I hope like hell John kicked his ass.  He'll be fine.  I'm told the damage is healing, not as fast as Xander would like but oh well.  Why the concern?"

"There was a report of a zombie attack on John Hopkins earlier," one told her, letting her see that report.  She read it over, grimacing.  "Was someone there visiting?"

"I wasn't but I'm hoping it was someone other than Xander who helped."  She called.  "It's me.  Who was with Xander this morning, Dean?"  She listened to him complain it had been Xander, that Dawn had gotten there too late to help with more than the clean up.  "Uh-huh.  How is he?"  Dean's answer of 'hiding in a closet' made her smirk.  "Yes, he probably should.  Any new damage?  No, I'm amazed he could swing a sword with that too.  Thanks."  She hung up.  "Yes, the idiot did it.  I'm going to have to nag him later about not being a slayer."

"He is your trainer and battle master," one reminded her.

"He's still not a slayer and he's injured.  He does stupid stuff, gets hurt, and makes the girls worry.  They have enough to worry about without Xander being hurt."  She walked off.  She yelped as John swatted her across the back of the head.

"Being human instead of a slayer isn't a lesser state," he reminded her.

"I don't want to see him hurt!" she complained.

"That's his choice, not yours."  He stared her down.  "Soldiers do things like that, Buffy."  She sighed and nodded.  "It may suck, but that's his choice.  The same as it for Dean and Sam."

"If it was your friend you'd complain."

"If it was my friend I'd support him and help him heal faster."  She nodded, stomping off.  "He said you went into that mode after things," he muttered.  Though he had no idea how Xander had been able to swing a sword with those injuries.  He wouldn't be able to without pain killers.  Maybe they had him on some good ones.  He hoped.  He went to check in and then went for a run in the gym.  This election stuff was driving him nuts.

Buffy went to pout at Jack, who would see both sides, and hopefully side with her about not wanting Xander hurt.  He might not fully get her points but he would want the guy to stay uninjured so the girls wouldn't have to mourn him.

***

John smiled as the slayer team filed into Congress a month later.  "It seems we meet again for the same reason," he quipped.  He got the medals they were there to receive and Jack got let in so he could hand them over.  A few were different slayers this time.  Dean and Sam were still fidgeting.  Dawn too this time.  But she was nearly due.  They all hoped her water didn't break today.  Xander was on a cane this time and not looking pleased.  John smiled at him.  "You get a special commendation as well for the zombie attack you helped foil while in a hospital bed," he announced.  The senate clapped at that.  A few hooted too.  Xander blushed, letting John pin that on him as well.  Finally it was done and they got to go eat.  Dawn could blip back to her specially shielded room in case her magic went crazy.  Sam and Dean got lunch and followed later.  It was a good day and they were getting used to things.  Xander would do fine being more public.  Eventually.

Book 2

Listening Is Half the Battle.

NOTES:  I did not create the M7 ATF Uni, I have no claims on it.  I am borrowing the concept as the original author set out the rules for and am giving her full credit for it.  I simply needed some really overprotective people in this universe. <G>

John sighed, putting down his tofu burger when the election results were brought in to him.  "Did Xander eat steak?"

"I think they let him have a chicken fried steak."  He smiled.  "Congratulations, Mr. President."

"Don't start that yet.  It's going to take me weeks to get used to that.  Why can't I retire?"

"I don't know, sir, but I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun assuring world leaders that Mr. Harris isn't really as mean as he seems."  He left, going to a post-election party the staff was holding.

Jack leaned in a few minutes later.  "No steak?" he teased.

"Tofu.  Xander had chicken fried steak.  We never told him not to eat steak on these days."

"You only won by a fifty-six percent margin."

"That's better, so maybe I'll only have one term," he agreed.  Jack walked off snickering.  "I know, with my luck there'll be an apocalypse right before the election again," he complained.  He called Xander.  "We never eat steak on the nights that we can be elected for things," he told him.  "It gets us elected."  He listened to the happiness of having had chicken.  "Even better.  No, tofu.  I was being extra careful.  Turn on the news, Xander."  He did and heard the bellow.

"I'll see you in a few days."  He hung up on the new ranting.  Xander was due out in a few weeks so he'd make it to the inauguration.  He didn't know why people felt so secure with them in office.  The other world leaders didn't really adore him.  A few were downright scared to death of Xander and the girls.  Would that really make them safer?

***

Buffy showed up the next day with sympathy flowers and a new suit for Xander, who was glaring.  "I didn't do it," she said smugly.  "You got press attention back before the first time they elected Jack and they think you're hot."

"Can't I say no?"

"No.  Jack said you can't."

"Shit."

"Basically."  She smiled.  "You even get shiny new guards."

"Yay," he said blandly.  "Anything else I need to rant at the Powers about?"

"I haven't seen Cordy yet."

"She'll show up during the swearing in probably," he pointed out.  "To tell everyone they're idiots."

"Maybe."  She hung the suit up.  "I have jeans and a t-shirt in there too.  The suit in case you need to get out and have attention, the jeans in case you can sneak off."  She smiled at him.  "The VP's house is pretty nice.  John said it's a sweet place.  Has a huge kitchen and a cook."  He grimaced.  "It has a gym too so you can slowly work your way back up to not-a-slayer strength."  She grinned.  "The girls sent cards."  She handed that packet over from her purse.  "Your girls are swearing at the Powers with you."

"They know I'll hate this and it'll end ice cream binges with me."

"Not really.  John and I had a few.  Feel lucky you're not Prez, Xander."  He shuddered and grabbed his side.  "Exactly."  She smirked, walking off to get him a slayer guard.  Since demons came for him.  She came back with a picture.  "From Dawnie."

"I didn't get to see her yet?"

"She can't travel yet.  The doctor said so."  She kissed him on the forehead. "Have fun."  She walked off again.

He put the picture of the baby next to him and opened his cards, smiling at the notes the girls wrote.   He loved his girls.

***

Xander limped into a suit shop, looking at the sales clerk, who was giving him an awed look.  "Apparently I have to have one and a tux for the balls," he said grimly.  "I'm still sore on my side so can we arrange that and hide the gun and stake holsters?"

"Of course, sir."  He led him back to a private room so his guards could relax some, taking his measurements, looking at the bruise.  They could let his pants ride a bit low this time so the waistband wasn't near there.   Xander called someone and they ran the account number he had.  "Mr. Giles said it was much cheaper than Mrs. O'Neill's," he quipped.

"If I have to wear a ballgown, someone's in trouble," he quipped back, sounding tired.  He signed the slip and they left.  The suits would be done in a few days.  Xander got taken to the hotel and everyone let him nap for a bit.  He was just out of the hospital.  That only left shoes and jewelry to go.  He could do that some other day.  He could not shop like a slayer yet.

***

Buffy and Jack attended the swearing in, both smiling and clapping for them.  Xander shot her a dirty look but Jack snickered at it.  They had everything shipped back and were escaping back to Jack's house in a few hours.  It would be good to help John decorate if he wanted to, and Xander because he was hopeless at matching anything.

John's date for the ball that night wasn't usual, it was his ex-wife.  They were back on friendly terms and he didn't want to make a statement by bringing a new date.  Xander didn't have one but he was still sore and limping, they all understood that. Buffy and Jack finished the ball and left, going back to their peace and quiet.  Finally!  And it meant less shopping for Buffy.

***

Xander limped into the White House the next morning.  "You decorated in creams and pale blues?"

"No, it was already like that.  I didn't decorate anything but the master bedroom," he said dryly.  He looked at him.  "How are you feeling?"

"Pukey again.  I'm fine though."  He sat down with a sigh.  "The candidates for the military academies?"

"Sixteen," he said, handing them over.  "You need some more."  Xander nodded.  Their press secretary walked in.  They had kept all of O'Neill's staff since they knew how they worked.  "Problems?"

"People are asking if he's dating the young woman among his guard."

Xander looked at him.  "She's the local slayer."

"I can spin that."  He looked at John.  "Anything you want to announce?"

"Not yet."

"Good."  He smiled.  "Today's a fast news day talking about last night and the clothes mostly.  They said they understood why Xander didn't bring a date or dance."  Xander nodded.  "How is your injury doing?"

"I'm fine."

"He'll be off the cane in six weeks according to what his doctor told Jack," John told him.  "Outpatient treatments for another month past that."  That got a nod and a dirty look from Xander.  "Jack made sure."

"Buffy was being nosy," he countered.

"Probably," John agreed.  "How often are you going to rotate your slayers?"

"Every four months with the other guards.  She'll be going in about three because she's got a job starting then.  One of my girls from Africa will be up then to make fun of all the shopping."

"Sounds reasonable to me," John agreed.  Xander grinned.  "I hated shopping.  I did what Jack did, picked a suit shop and only went there."

"We can pick different ones if you want," Xander offered.  "I have no intention of wearing suits.  Dress pants if I have to but not suits.  No ties."

"That's fine," John agreed.  "Unless it's something formal.  You can argue with your assistant for that.  She used to nag me often enough."  Xander nodded.  "I kept Chuck since he's a wonder assistant and came with me from the city.  The whole city got drunk last night from what I heard."

Xander smiled.  "They wake up Willow?"

"Nope.  She's due to wake up soon though."  He looked at him.  "We'll go to the UN thing in two weeks to let you get used to the other countries' people."  Xander nodded, getting up with a quiet moan.  "Take something, Xander."

"I can't be on painkillers in this job," he pointed out.  "Besides, it only hurts when I bend."  He walked off.

John looked at his press secretary.  "Anything else I need to screw up today?"

"Not yet.  A few calls of greeting I'm told."  John nodded.  "Have fun, sir."  He walked off, going to tell that to the press corps so they wouldn't worry so much about Xander.  They all paused when they heard Xander swearing.

"Ran into a doorknob on the sore spot," he called.  "Sorry to yell like that."

"See, he is like O'Neill," the press secretary said with a smile.

***

"Sir, we're going to have a problem," the head fo the Secret Service said once he was let into the oval office.

"What now?" John complained.  He looked up.  "Big problem, little problem, your guys don't like the slayer helping him?"

"They adore the slayer helping him," he said honestly.  "Have you seen who and what he dated though?"  He handed over the list.  John snickered, shaking his head.  "Honestly, sir.  He can't date that while in office.  He shouldn't date that after he's out of office."

"Yell at him," he offered, handing it back.

"I can't.  His current one is an assassin," he said quietly.

"Ah.  Xander!" he bellowed, bringing him limping in holding his side.  "Ran into another doorknob?"

"Yes, damn things," he muttered.  "They're all on my blind side and I can only compensate in battles.  I never had a problem with doorknobs in Africa."  He looked at the head of the Secret Service.  "Big problems?"

"You're dating an assassin."

"She's not here for John or any member of Congress."  They both gaped.  "I'm real realistic about how I only draw bad and evil girls."

John cleared his throat.  "That's probably a problem with your job," John pointed out.

"She said she'd give it up if we ended up married."

"Yeah, not going to work," John told him with a smirk.  "Date a CIA spook or something, Xander."

"The last one of those I dated, I turned in for liking torture."

"We can set you up with some nicer agents who are still naughty," the head of the Secret Service assured him.  "We have in the past, sir.  Let us help you find someone nice to date.  Is there any sort of hair preference?"

"She should have some.  I'm not that shallow."

"Okay, well, I'll put out a call that you're not that shallow and like women, or do you like guys more maybe?"

He shrugged.  "Tried it a few times.  After a few ex's especially."

"Okay.  We can work on that."  He smiled.  "The FBI already has your girlfriend in custody, sir."  He left.   He knew a lot of agents liked to play on the dirty side.  Men and women.

John looked at him.  "How do you do that?"

"No clue but that's all I've ever really dated.  Anya was one of the nicest, she didn't try to kill me.  Cordy too."

"I've seen Cordelia," he agreed.  He sighed.  "I'll mine some of my contacts too, Xander.  Then the people around here who like events can plan one for you hopefully.  Even if it's with another guy since it's legal here in DC."

Xander shrugged.  "I'll see."  He walked back to his office.

"You have to open Senate today," John reminded him.

"Oops."  He went to put on a better shirt and head over there with his guards.  His slayer walked on the side of all the doorknobs for him, earning a grin.  They got driven down to Congress, letting him walk in and talk to the people.  He had no idea what he was doing.  They had taught John Sheppard the same things though so they were used to them.  They got him settled and changed out his chair for one without armrests because of his side.   The rest of the senate filed in and Xander stood up to give the speech Buffy had given him.   Then he banged the gavel and they got down to chatting instead of business.  He looked at the majority leader, who smiled and waved off his concerned look.  They were doing business their way.  He'd get used to it.  Of course, he couldn't really bring in a puzzle book today either.  He'd learn.

***

Xander got dragged into the suit shop with a sigh.  "Why do I need more?"

"You need good clothes," she reminded him.  "Dress pants, nice shirts."

"Polo," he offered.  "Nice, yet a bit casual."

"Too informal for the senate."

He looked at her.  "You know, I only have my savings until the first paycheck," he said dryly.

"I know.  Buffy checked," she said smugly.  "You can afford some new shirts and a few new pairs of pants.  You won't need a real suit for about six weeks."

He stopped her.  He pointed.  "I'm not the fancy sort.  Unlike John, I grew up in Sunnydale to working parents who didn't make that much.  Let's stick with things I'm comfy in, Kamria."

"Fine," she muttered.  "You still can't wear the ugly shirts."

He rolled his eyes, looking at his guard.  "Do you have a tranq dart for her?"

"Yup," he assured him.  "Or your next girlfriend, sir."

One of the clerks came over.  "Sir," he said with a smile.  "Are you increasing your wardrobe or changing your fashion statement?"

Xander gave him an odd look.  "I'm all about the comfy.  Usually I'm a jeans guy.  T-shirt, maybe an overshirt.  I used to work construction.  I have to be able to swing a sword or hide a weapon."  The man swallowed but nodded.  "Please," he finished.  "Before she drives me further insane."

"This way, sir.  Let's see what you like of our Casual Friday collection.  That would be nice enough shirts and decent dress pants that are more giving and easily washed."

"That's a good thing.  Dry cleaning sucks."  He smiled and showed him what he had.  Kamria pointed at a few things but got scowled at.  "Too high maintenance for me."

"For Senate days," she countered.  "No tie but a nice dress shirt should be good, Xander."

"I can't hide a weapon under one," he pointed out.

"You have guards for that.  They can carry an extra gun for you to grab," she said happily, looking at the guards.

"We're already carrying an extra one each," the guard assured her.

Xander grinned.  "Usually I have a multi-purpose harness on my back waistband."

"I've noticed and you can do that whenever you're wearing a jacket," the guard said.  He pointed.  "From personal experience, those shirts are soft, not dry clean only, and nice feeling, sir.  Soft enough for your side as well."

"How long will that be going on?" Kamria asked Xander.

"Six more months.  That's why I let my pants ride a bit low."  He picked out a few choices.  She put a few back and changed the colors on him, and one's size.  He picked out a few short-sleeved shirts and one sweater.  That was nice enough for Kamria and the guard but casual enough for him. They checked out and Xander got dinner for them on the way back.  That was the end of his savings until he got his first check so no more shopping.  Thankfully!

***

Jennifer Keller was let into the oval office, smiling at her colonel.  "Colonel."

"Doc," he said with a grin.  "What's up?"

"I want to look at Harris' side.  It should be healing better than it is."

He nodded.  "He's in his office."  He got up to walk her down there.  "Xander, this is my city's doc.  She wants to scan your side.  We've got some advanced stuff."

"Sure," he said, taking off his shirt.   She blushed a bit but he grinned.  "If John likes you that much you're probably not evil enough for me."

"Probably not since I'm a good girl," she agreed.  She opened the carrying case and put the unit on her hand, running it over his side while she looked at the display.  "I think we can do a bit of faster healing on it," she offered with a smile.  He beamed back and nodded.  "It may hurt a bit."

"I can swear.  They're used to it because I run into doorknobs.  Marta, I'm doing something for my side.  Expect swearing," he called.

"Yes, sir."  She closed the door.  That was an unusual treatment but she didn't want to be nosy.  She was only the temp while the usual one was on her honeymoon.

Keller pulled out the other device.  "It will heat up," John told him.  "I had it used on me to fix a broken rib and it felt like it was burning."

"Okay," Xander said, moving to his couch and laying down for her.

"That'll work," she agreed.  She put the device on his side, making him swear and grab the couch frame.  "Easy," she soothed.  "Relax the muscles or it'll hurt more."

"It feels like it's digging with a spoon now," he complained, shifting so he had a better hand grip.  He panted, letting out small swears while it worked.  That did hurt like a bitch. Finally she removed it and he panted.  She put on something else and he did swear louder at that.  She stroked over his hair to calm him back down but that one hurt worse.  John came over to help.  Finally it was done and Xander was down to one huge bruise from the healing and a lot of pain.

She pulled out a needle and stuck him before he could complain.  "This is a light sedative so you can nap for an hour or so," she said quietly.  "Rest and by the time you get up all you'll have is a bruise, Mr. Harris."  She stroked over his hair again, helping him sleep.  She smiled at John.

"It never reacted that way to me."

"His DNA warping was causing the slow healing."

"Oh!"  He nodded.  "Did it detox some of it?"

"Some of the remains in his liver, not from his blood.  His liver is fully healed."  She repacked everything.  "He'll be fine to limp less soon and shouldn't have as much problem when he runs into a doorknob."  She looked at his eyepatch.  "They can put in a fake one if he wants."

"I think he has one but he never uses it," he admitted.  He smiled at her.  "Thank you, Doc."

"Not a problem, John.  You know that.  You should've called me sooner.  We could've done this in the hospital so he could've had drugs."  She got beamed out.

John opened the door.  "Thanks for waiting, guys.  Doctor Keller fixed the whole problem.  Marta, call his doctor to have him get a check up and make sure for the records."  She nodded, finding that number to call him.   He saw the edgy guards and smiled.  "It hurt and it burns but it's handy and it fixed all the damage to his liver.  He's got a bruise.  She gave him a light sedative so he can nap off the pain."  That got a terse nod.  "Good men."  He left, going back to his office.  It would help Xander relax some more.  Hardly anyone would think about attacking them.  Outside of Riley Finn's people.  He called the head of the Secret Service to get an update on that situation.  It had to get fixed sooner.

***

Xander met with the new diplomats, nodding at the few he knew.  A few gave him horrified looks because they knew him.  "Not my choice, the people decided while I was in the hospital," he pointed out dryly.  "Though it's nice to see some of you again."

"Do you have a slayer with you?  Some of our people would like to test themselves against one," one of them said.  "That way we know we can handle our own problems."

"I have one of the alpha slayers with me but not one of the two senior ones.  Kamria?"  She walked in.  "This is Kamria.  She's technically DC's slayer."  He looked at her.  "A few of these guys brought people to spar with you.  That way they know if they measure up."

She shrugged.  "I could use some sparring time.  Sparring with John is neat but I almost miss sparring with Ronon."  She smiled.  "That'd be fine."  They smiled.  "We'll arrange it tomorrow?"  They nodded and she went to make arrangements for some gym space.  Plus for another slayer to come guard Xander.  He'd get into trouble if one wasn't with him.  Just look at all the trouble he got into with more than one with him.  They might have to rescue him again if he didn't have slayer backup.

Xander smiled.  "She's been worrying."

"I understand why."  John walked in with his guards behind him.  "Mr. President."

John smiled.  "Let's not be that formal, guys.  I'm just John Sheppard.  Same as before."  They all smirked at that.  "The same as Xander's that sort too."  Xander nodded.  "So let's get down to making sure we have some peaceful relations and what should happen if things try to attack this planet."  This was going to be a long meeting.

***

Xander walked into the briefing room, looking at the press secretary.  "You needed to see me?"

"I hate to ambush you."

"I don't care, dude.  Just spit it out, Martin.  It can't be that horrible."

"There's a report floating around that you're not fully human?" one reporter asked, looking hesitant.

Xander stared at her.  "Well, I have been possessed a few times.  That left a memory taint.  I have been exposed to demon DNA due to an undercover incident back in high school.  That's barely a taint and all it's done so far is render me infertile."  He shrugged.  "What did you want to know about it?"

"That DNA taint, it can't make you do anything?"

"I'm a bit better of a swimmer," he said with a grin.  "We had a swim coach that was infecting the team with mermaid DNA."  A few gaped.  He smirked.  "I went to see why they were turning into black, slimy, people eating monsters.  It was in the sauna."  He crossed his arms over his chest.  "It doesn't make me do anything.  I don't tend to eat fish anymore because of that.  A few were casual friends so I don't want them caught or anything.  Other than that, it can't make me do anything.  If I'm possessed, the slayer who's part of my guards will handle it.  None of them have wanted me to do anything really.   I've learned a lot from them.  One was a hyena matriarch, the pack leader, and I learned a lot about hunting and tracking from her."

"So, it can't make you vote certain ways, won't tilt you toward things?"

"No.  All my views are from hunting and growing up in Southern Cali, guys.  Really."

"Do you dislike fishing as a career?" another asked.

"I'm all good with fishing as an industry.  I just personally don't eat fish because I always get a bad thought of them being caught in the nets."  He shrugged a bit.  "It's a personal mental block more than anything."

"So, no lasting effects beyond the memory taints and that little bit of DNA?"

"You'd have to ask Colonel Carter.  She had a look at it a few years back when I was found to be dating."

"Dating who?" one asked.

Xander smirked.  "I believe that's still classified.  Ask her that question."  He left.

The press secretary shrugged.  "We can ask her to brief you guys.  Let me make that call today.  Anything else we want to know about?"

"What else possessed him?"

"You'd have to ask him that and I don't think he's going to share," the press secretary said.  "Let me call her."  He went to his office to call Colonel Carter's office.  That might get everyone out of trouble.

John leaned into Martin's office.  "Xander told me.  You might be warned that I was part of a problem while I was in Pegasus that got me infected with bug DNA.  In case it comes out."  He walked off.

The press secretary shook his head quickly.  "They're going to drive me insane.  Oh, Colonel, thank you for not being your voicemail.  No, not about his bug issues.  Someone found out Mr. Harris had some DNA tainting and got a bit panicky.  I wanted to know if I could get a report on it and what he was dating when you found it."  She said something smart and he shuddered.  "Seriously?"

Her answer of 'he only dates dangerous things' didn't make him happy.  It clearly meant more creative briefings in the future.  "That would be helpful, yes, ma'am.  Thank you."  He went to tell them that.  "Colonel Carter will prepare a briefing about how much DNA tainting there is for you and she'll be here to present it in about 2 days.  She has to dig up some of the reports but she did say it was minimal at best.  Basically only a few chromosomes."

"Who was he dating?"

"She said that's classified," he reported.  "Though apparently she thinks his taste in women is questionable for some reason I haven't heard yet.  We'll see."  He smiled.  "Give us a few days to find the reports she did."  He left them alone to swear in his office.

John walked in and stared at him.  "Don't trash Xander that way again, Martin.  I really don't like it and I'm not as nice as Jack was in case you forgot."

"Yes, sir," he said, looking at him.  "He dated a gou'ald?"

"Yeah.  He's dated a few assassins too.  Plus a few arms dealers...."  Martin shuddered.  "If you think you can't handle it, find a replacement, Martin."  He left him alone.  He still had to find Xander someone dangerous yet nice to date.  Someone good for the people.

***

Someone let two agents into the oval office, making John stare at him.  "Problems, gentlemen?"

"Yes, sir, and it's going to be a headache for everyone," the agent in the lead said dryly.  "We have information that your successor has knowledge of arms dealers, has actually bought artillery, and has stockpiled some sort of paranoid's arsenal."

John snickered.  "You guys have heard of the Council, right?"

"Of course," he agreed.

"You do know that he was the arms master there before the last president talked them into taking on an ATF agent?"  The agent in the lead gave him an odd look.  "Xander bought the artillery for them most likely.  Though I do know he did date some arms dealers."

The secondary agent coughed.  "With what he's bought, we're not sure that's even a safe state, sir."

"Chuck, get Xander," he called.  Xander walked in a minute later.  "What is in the Council's armory right now?"

Xander shrugged.  "You guys made us take in Roger to take some of my job from me."  He looked at the agents.  "What are you guys worried about specifically?"

The lead agent stared at him.  "There's been evidence you were buying weapons while you were out of the country."

"For the slayers down there but we used almost everything, outside of one.  That one's stored in the slayer house's armory for the next time I have to deal with a sixty foot demon."

The secondary agent coughed.  "How did you use something that was sub-nuclear?"  John spluttered.

Xander smirked.  "Well, to be honest, I stripped it down as much as I could, used a crossbow to fashion a launcher, and shot it into the thing's crotch, where it's brain was, and it got destroyed before it ate the rest of a village.  I was without the slayers and fifty caliber rounds weren't working.  That was all I had on me at the time.  Though, I didn't buy that.  I confiscated it from someone who had it.  The rest of the things he had, I turned in."

The lead agent blinked.  "That would've been dangerous, sir."

"The demon had already eaten over two hundred people and fifty cows.  It was going to keep going if it wasn't stopped.  What did you want me to do, cry?"

"How did you find out that the person who had the weapon had it?" the secondary agent asked.

"Well, because I fucked him good and hard the night before and he was going to reward me for it."  He smirked.  "He was going to refill my ammo for me but I thought that might be a bit much to have in civie hands."  John snickered.  "And since I showed such good taste, and let him give me a blow job before I left, he still refilled my ammo case.  That's how I knew that fifty caliber rounds didn't work."

"Is that normal for you?" Chuck asked from his desk.

"Sometimes," Xander admitted.  "Which is why John's trying to get me to date some nicely dangerous yet good for the world agents."  He looked at the other two agents.  "So, what else can I tell you about, boys?"  He smiled.

"Sir, are you dangerous to this country?" the lead agent demanded calmly.

"Not usually.  I don't know, John, do you think I'm dangerous?"

"Only when we're being attacked," he said bluntly.  "The Council has the right to hoard some weapons up to a certain class.  That's something the ATF agent in their armory oversees."

Xander nodded.  "I pouted at him for days for taking my weapon cleaning and petting time."

"Are you sane?" the secondary agent asked.

"Mostly.  I've been surrounded by women for a *long* time so I can't be fully sane sometimes.  I have PTSD about shopping trips with the slayers."  He shrugged.  "I know the two arms dealers I've dated since I got back from Africa have both pouted that they got arrested.  One still writes me dirty letters about missing the sex."

The lead agent looked at John.  "Should he possibly be examined by someone?"

"No.  Xander's fine, guys.  Really.  He's not dating any arms dealers while he's here in DC.  We'll find him some nice agents who might like him.  Without forcing anyone or anything."  They stomped off.  He looked at Xander.  "Anything else I need to know about?" he asked dryly.

"No.  Not that I'm aware of."  He shrugged and went back to his office.  He did miss his weapon petting time.  He might have to take the guard's guns to clean later on them since he couldn't have his armory in DC.

***

John sighed as he walked into the press room.  "To displace all the rumors, no agents are being asked to date Xander.  We're trying to set him up with good women who aren't dangerous the way his last few were.  No one's making any lists of pretty agents or anything like it.  It was noted that if any of them might like him to arrange for them to meet.  Because we'd like Xander to date *nice* women.  So would the slayers."  A few snickered.

"Honestly.  Especially since his last girlfriend was infected with a gou'ald and the one before that was an assassin."  They all stared at him, a few mouths were open.  "So if there's agents out there who think he's cute, and they want introduced we're not going to complain.  We'd never force it or anything like that, guys.  Now, anything else?"  They all shook their heads.  "Good."  He smiled.  "So let's stop this rumor before it gets out of hand, please."  He walked off.  He shot his new press secretary a dirty look.

"It wasn't me, sir.  It was the agents who showed up to talk to him about his weapons collection."

"I'm moving my stuff from Africa locally," Xander called.  "That way I have weapons I can pet without making the guards pout at me when I confiscate theirs to pet and clean on them."

John winced, shaking his head.  "Nothing bigger than a shotgun, Xander."

"Yes, John."

"Thank you."  John went to talk to someone about his weapons.  He decided Xander would love to learn wraith, ori, and gou'ald weapons.  He got the arms master from the Mountain to come teach Xander.  It'd keep him less bored and make him a happy boy again who might not need to date for a while.

***

One senior Secret Service agent walked into Xander's office, staring at him.  "Sir," one said.  Xander looked up at him from cleaning one of the agent's guns.  "Are you confiscating their guns for a reason?  Because you're scaring a few of them."

"I'm cleaning them.  Half of them haven't.  Frankly, a few of the guns I've cleaned were filthy.  It's giving me something to do so I can't make the politicians cry."

The senior agent gave him an odd stare.  Then he nodded.  "Sir, ask instead of stealing."

"I do ask.  Usually.  I did take one that was jammed open earlier."  He pointed.  "I haven't gotten to it yet."

He looked it over, shaking his head.  "I'll write him up for that, sir."

Xander grinned.  "I like weapons petting time.  It's like meditation for me.  I don't mind cleaning their weapons for them if they want.  I usually try to ask unless I see one that's that horrible."

"No, that one I'd want someone to clean on him," he decided.  "Do you do the same to your slayer's weapons?"

Xander snorted.  "She's possessive of her weapons.  I taught her *very* well.  She's been laughing all day about me cleaning for them."

"Did you do the President's guards' guns as well?"  Xander nodded.  "From now on, ask please, sir.  I understand why you clean weapons when you think.  Frankly, I have three daughters I'm raising alone.  There's been plenty of times I cleaned weapons."  Xander grinned at that.  "From now on, please ask, and don't creep them out."

"I'll try but a few are still giving me wary looks after Kamria and I sparred the other day."

"I've heard.  You're getting different guards because of that."  He smiled.  "Do you run like the last president and this one?"

"I only run if something's chasing me to eat me.  Or I'm really trying to duck the gross women at the club."

"Good to know.  We'll bring in someone who can protect you better by backing you up."  He left, going to tell the Director of the Secret Service.   Really, they were used to people like that.  Usually you called them retired from combat, but that was really light compared to the vice president's fighting history.  None of the Secret Service wanted to face down a demon invasion or anything.  If he couldn't find agents to guard him, the guards were going to quit or transfer agencies.

***

Xander walked into the Denver Convention Center for the meeting, grimacing as he looked around.  "Cheerleaders?" he guessed, looking at the decorations.

One of the agents near him coughed.  "Later this week is the state cheerleading finals, sir."

Xander smiled at him.  "That's good to know.  I'll keep Kamria from it so she doesn't try to challenge them to a moves contest."  He looked at her, but she was shaking her head quickly.  "You would."

"Like you, I've been bored," she complained.  "No demons are trying to date you anymore," she quipped.

Xander shrugged.  "How do I know?"  He looked at the agent walking his way.  "Are we set up?  And do I have a pile of puzzle books for the times when they're going to talk over my head?"

"No puzzle books," he said.  He looked at the lone female guard.  She was short, wasn't wearing a weapon, and he had no idea who she was.  "Girlfriend?" he suggested.  "If so I can make sure we have a nice waiting area for her to hang out in.  That way she's not bored by all the financial discussion."

Xander stared at him.  "First, slayer," he said with a point.  "Second, fired.  Get out of my face."  The man recoiled.  He smirked.  "Get out of my face now."  The man ran.  He looked at his guard.  "Go find me someone who can actually be in charge who isn't snide?"  He walked off with Kamria and the other guard.   "You can arm wrestle with the guys if you want," he said quietly to her.

"That'd be fine.  The other guards might be a challenge and I welcome it."  She smiled at theirs.  "No offense but you can't really arm wrestle very good."

"I know I can't match a slayer," he assured her.  They examined the meeting area.  He let Xander look at the box he found.  He couldn't disarm bombs and the vice president could.  His boss was going to freak out.  "Sir," he complained when Xander lifted it out of the box.

Xander waved a hand, walking out there.  "Yo, agent in charge!" he bellowed.  An agent, a younger one, came jogging over.  He held up the bomb.  "In the meeting area.  I disarmed it."  He handed it over.  The agent was gaping so he smiled.  "What?  It seemed like the thing to do."  He walked back in there.

"Sir, we should evacuate you," the guard said, grabbing him by the arm, giving Kamria a pointed look so she'd agree.

"Sure, we can go back to the car until they clear it," she decided, walking out beside him.  A foul tempered looking blond man was stomping their way.  "Let me guess, you're the unlucky one who got put in the place of the snide former agent in charge?" she guessed.

"I am."  He stared at him.  "Who disarmed it?"  Xander raised his hand.  "How do you know to do that, sir?"

"I learned a lot over the years as the slayer's arms master."  He looked at her then at him again.  "Are you going to have the same problem that snide fucker did about her being my slayer guard?"

"No, I've seen what slayers can do, sir," he said dryly.

Xander grinned.  "Thank you.  Want us to wait anywhere specific until you can clear the building again?"

"We have a safe room set up, sir.  Follow my teammate, Agent Dunn."  He took the bomb and let JD walk them off.  He saw the slayer hadn't moved.  "Ma'am, problems?"

She grinned.  "Xander is called a white knight for a reason," she said quietly.  "He will jump in.  A lot.  We hate it about him sometimes because he has a problem with getting injured.  Also, guard his left side since he's blind there."  She jogged to catch up to them.  The young agent was cute.  She might get some flirting in.  It'd be a nice change from all the really ancient politicians that wanted to flirt with her.

Xander was patient and joking with the young agent, making him laugh and his own agent relax.  Kamria was flirting and it was good to see.   He had worried about her dating habits in DC.  All the old guys were making her stay single and pouty.  Eventually the blond guy came back scowling.  "Was it against me or someone else being bored here?"

"Your slayer actually," he admitted, looking at her.  "Apparently they're paranoid about slayers."

Xander snorted.  "I'd like to see them in person if they're not under arrest."

"No, sir, they're found and being arrested.  I have the rest of my team going after them."

Xander stared at him.  "Is the rest of your team hardasses like you?"  The blond smirked an evil smirk.  "Good.  Though if you want to bring them here so you're sure they have your back, go for it and let the snide asshole search them out.  Whatever makes you feel comfy, dude."

"That's something I haven't been called in a while," he admitted dryly.

Xander grinned.  "You scowl really bad, but it's nice to have someone looking out for me that I can trust.  My guys are good, and so is Kamria, but if we're going to have problems I'd rather have people at my back today.  I'm sleepy and cranky, which will lead to me being mean."

"We hate you in that mood, sir," his guard said, shuddering slightly.

Xander looked at him.  "You hate it more when I date."

"I do, sir, because your usual dates end up in arrests after a background check," he said bluntly.  He looked at the local agent, who was snickering.  "Are we clear?"

"We're clear."  He let them out and back to the room.   "I'm glad we managed the crowd outside," he said.

"They come out for John, not me," Xander told him.  "Unless it's a crowd of bad boys and girls, I don't get rushed that way usually."

"Sir, please don't mess up their city by dating," the second guard begged.  "Pretty please?"

Xander scowled at him.  "I'm not like that!  I also tend to stop them myself before you guys have to step in and be paranoid."

The local agent shook his head.  "I don't want to know."

Kamria smiled.  "Xander only dates the dangerous, deadly, and pretty.  We're really sorry if anyone here crushes and tries to get his attention."  Xander smacked her on the back of the head.  "Ow!  You learned that from that NCIS guy!"

"You bet," he agreed, giving her a dirty look.  "Quit.  Before I sell you off into marriage to someone I think is nice."  She nodded, piping down.   He smiled at the lead agent again.  "Sometimes it's like they're family."  He pointed.  "Mine?"  He got pointed at a different one and sat down.  "Thanks and let me know if we need to be meaner again please."

"Yes, sir."  He went to arrange the teams and get a better investigative team than the snide, fired one to search out the problem church members.

Halfway through the meeting, Kamria frowned, looking around.  She signaled the guard and got up, walking outside.  Two of the local agents followed scowling.  She ran into the demon outside.  She looked up at him.  "Well, you're harmless, but Xander's inside.  So what's going on and why did you show up?"

He leaned down.  "Slayer, there is a person who is hunting us.  He is not a slayer and he has taken out a few of our ruling council," he growled.

"I'll stay when Xander goes back tonight and see if we can stop him and hand him to the agents."

He smiled.  "Thank you, slayer."

"I'm Kamria."  He nodded and stood up, walking off.  She grimaced.  "Any clue, guys?"

"We can pull up the local's records," one of them said.  He went to do that.

She walked back inside, leaning down next to Xander's ear.  "We have a hunter in town taking out the local ruling council," she whispered.

"Good hunting, be safe, take an agent with you," he said quietly.  She nodded and left.  He shifted, smiling.  "She got asked to handle a slayer issue," he said when he realized they were all staring at him.  "Go ahead, even though I'd want some of this plan explained to me.  Why are we making people spend more and save less?"  They explained it to him again.  He shook his head.  "Then what happens if we get a problem on Wall Street?  It does tank now and then, right?"  They all nodded.  "Then what happens if we have another one?  Shouldn't we be telling people to responsibly spend and make sure you save some?"

"The economy is built on spending, sir."

"I get that," he agreed.  "But I also get that in the last week my retirement fund lost three percent because the stock market was on a downward swing.  Which would affect savings and jobs, right?"  They all nodded.  One looked like he got it.  "Will telling people to buy really expensive, pointless things really help turn that around?"

"No," one said, then sighed.  "You're right, we do have to take into account some savings.  Especially for things like college funds and retirements."

"Or weddings or houses," Xander added.  "So why don't the major car makers do what they usually do when sales are bad?  Sales, incentives, all that stuff."

"They have.  It's not enough to create more spending because banks are getting a bit twitchy."

"Will more spending help that or hurt that?" he asked.

"Hurt," one of the guards said.  "The local banks won't give out any sort of loan unless you already have a substantial savings."  They all glared at him.  "That is the local economy."

"Which I get," Xander agreed.  "I know we got into trouble a while back with that."  They all sighed.  "Not that I take out loans.  I have a retirement account in case I make it that far.  But....  Shouldn't we be telling them to buy stuff that'll last a long time, things that're necessary?  Encourage them to renovate, buy new appliances, all that?"

"That is one thing that could be helpful," the chairman of the talk agreed.  "Spending on that level would also increase personal wealth because it would increase the assets in their houses."  The others nodded that was true.  "You think those sort of buys instead of less durable things?"

"I think new cars are great, but there's only so many drivers who can afford the really expensive sort of car that you guys want them to buy.  I think a lot more can afford to redo their kitchens and bathrooms, which will create jobs and spending both.  Plus talking about saving a bit more so people realize what they'll need if we hit another bad economic moment or it takes a while for all this to come together."

"True," the chairman agreed with a smile.  "It would be all right to do that."  The others nodded.  "That's a very good idea, sir."

Xander smiled.  "Thanks.  It made sense to me."

"Sometimes common sense is the best thing there is," the agent who had spoken up said.

Xander smiled.  "Not that I'll fuss if people buy diamonds, gold, and all that stuff.   If they want to spend five hundred bucks on a bottle of really gross tasting champagne, that's up to them."  The agents all snickered.  "I'm kinda against that personally but I know some people need to be able to point to it so they prove they have self worth.  Personally, I'm not one of those but I understand it."  They all smiled.  "Can we tax the really ridiculous shit to help the economy?"

"They'd fight and they're the biggest campaign donators, sir," one said with a wince.

Xander stared at him.  "Okay, and?  I'm against taxing basic, necessary things, like food, but if you buy bling just to have bling, then it should be taxed.  Like cars over sixty grand?  Or jewelry over thirty thou?  That way you don't catch wedding sets or nice presents on the anniversaries.  That nasty champagne could be taxed."

"That's one way to fill in the deficit," one sighed.  "But they will vote you out of office, sir."

Xander stared at her.  "Okay, and the problem with that is?  I'm not going to bow down to anyone who's like that.  I don't care what people want to over-use personally but I'm not going to change to suit those people."

"Many politicians would," she said.

Xander shrugged.  "I'm not a politician.  I got appointed when I was in the hospital because us fighting an apocalypse made them feel safer," he said with a smile.  She nodded.  "I'm not used to this stuff.  This makes very little sense to me most of the time.  The parties, all that, make *no* sense to me.  Neither does the dressing up stuff.  I look sucky in a suit."

They all nodded that was true.  He did look bad in his present suit.

Xander heard a scream and jumped up, heading for his slayer at a run.  "Kamria!"  She yelped again and fell just about as he got out there.  "Damn it!"  He pulled his gun and shot the demons trying to kill her.  "Where in the hell did you come from!"

"The hunter," she moaned.  "He released them."  She went limp.

"Get her to an ER, people, and tell them those sorts have poisoned fangs.  Tell them to call the main house and they'll send over the remedy."  They gathered some of the drool while they got an ambulance there.  Xander looked around.  Two more flying things were coming their way and he moved the agent out of their line of fire, hitting them both center mass.  They fell down and died.  He scanned, scowling.  "Dawn!" he shouted.  She appeared.  He pointed.  She swore and moved to help Kamria.  "Can you feel a summoning set?"

She looked around and pointed.  "That way by a few miles."

"Good deal."  He looked back at his agent since he had pushed his way out.  "We have someone summoning demons."

"Sir, you're the Vice President, this is a slayer's job," he said calmly.

Xander stared at him.  "I'm both and oh well.  Not like the locals will understand how to break it up or protect themselves.  You can stay here if you want."  He took off his jacket and handed it over.  "Go with her and Dawn in case they come for her again."  He went to the limo, opening the trunk to get into his hunting kit.

"Sir, that's our job," the lead agent ordered.

Xander looked at him.  "You think you can handle demons?"

"Yes, sir, and have recently."

"Then come with me.  Unless you guys know how to take out a summoning circle?"

"I do have a person who studied it," he admitted.  Xander stared at him.  "You can trust my people.  Go with your slayer, sir.  That's your job right now."  Xander huffed but nodded and climbed in with her.  The guards all relaxed.   He glared at one.  "Of course it's his job, it's his calling.  Like a former priest can't not give blessings."  He called his people and they headed out to track that problem.  The ATF office had a witch on staff.  She could find it.  She pinpointed it for them and they headed off to end it.

***

Xander looked up as Buffy walked into the hospital room.  "There was a hunter here to draw slayers to them," he said quietly.  "So he could attack the slayers."

She nodded.  "That sucks huge."  She came over to look at Kamria.  "Is she okay?"

"Punctured lung, fractured kneecap, lots and lots of infected bites and cuts."

She nodded.  "She's coming back with us."

Xander rubbed over his face.  "I should've went."

"The local team said they got him and he's in jail begging for mercy," she told him.  "Jack said to remind you that right now you have to protect more than us girls."

He looked at her.  "You're sure it's not the same job?"

"Yeah, most of the time."  He shrugged back.  She smiled.  "I'll take Kamria with me tonight.  You need to appear in public so they don't think you got hurt too."

"Yeah, maybe," he sighed, standing up.  He kissed her on the head, making her blink at him.  "Buffy said I need to make people less paranoid.  She'll sit with you for a bit."  She nodded, clutching Buffy's hand.  "I'll be back later."

"Let us get her to Cleveland, Xander.  You can visit by video conference," Buffy said.  "Make people quit worrying."

He nodded, leaving to do that.  His guards met him outside the room.  He walked out into a press ambush.  "My slayer will be fine," he said calmly.  "The one who did it I'm told was arrested by the local ATF agents who impressed me earlier."

"Sir, was it a prelude to an attack?" one yelled.

"No.  They wanted slayers.   This has nothing to do with the average person or an attack.  They wanted to take out slayers probably for some craptastic mentally incapacitated reason."  He looked around.

"Sir, will you have another slayer on duty with you?" one asked.

"Yes.  Soon probably.  They're used to how I think since I kinda freak out the Secret Service guards sometimes."  He smiled at them.  "Nice job earlier."  He looked at them again.  "For right now, she'll be moved back to the slayers house so she's got medical treatment for the demon poison she got from the bites.  Buffy's here to make sure she's okay."  He pointed.  "What?  You're nearly crying."

"Sir, why do you have a slayer as a guard?"

Xander stared at her.  "Because even now demons could come for me.  They freak the Secret Service out too."  He walked around them.  "Let me thank those agents, guys."  He got into the car and the guards got in after him.  He looked at the driver.  "Let's pick them up dinner or something from somewhere nice."  The driver nodded, pulling away from the curb.  "I won't possibly insult them by getting them donuts."

His senior guard coughed.  "Sir, you pushed all the agents out of your way to fire on the demons," he said calmly.

"Guys, you have no idea what to do with demons," he pointed out.  "You've said repeatedly that they freak you out.  It's better if I do it and you guys don't have to freeze."

"You shoved one of them out of the way too, sir," the other agent said.

Xander shrugged.  "Sorry, I'm used to handling things."

"Sir, you're retired," he pointed out.

"Slightly," Xander agreed.  "Like John, I'm on reserve status.  You can't take the reflexes and training out of us, guys."

"True," the senior one said, looking at his junior agent then at him.  "You could teach us."

"I will if you guys want me to."

"It might help if someone taught the Secret Service, sir," the senior one.

Xander sighed, staring at him.  "You guys are switching out because of this?"

"Sir, our job is to protect you," the junior agent said.  "Clearly you won't let us."

"I would if it was a normal threat."

"Sir, you disarmed the bomb before we could warn anyone," his senior agent pointed out.

"Sorry?"

"No, that's your training," he sighed, shaking his head.  "You're used to being alone or with a very small group and handling things without anyone helping.  You can't stop that sort of training, not after twenty years."  Xander nodded.  "We'll make sure your next guards are used to such incidences though.  Plus we can take the training back to the Secret Service so they're used to dealing with demon things too.  After all, they might come for the President or even the next one."  Xander nodded at that.  He smiled.  "Thank you, sir."

"It's clear you guys aren't comfy and I don't want you guys to have problems because I handled something."

"Our director knows you're like that, sir," the junior agent said with a smile.  "He warned us, sir, but we were clearly not fast enough."

Xander rolled his eyes.  "You guys did a good job.  I'm probably the toughest person you'll ever guard."  They smiled and nodded.  He leaned over to shake their hands.  "Have a good time once we get back, guys."  The driver stopped and he got out, going to get them dinner from the nice steak joint.  Most guys liked steaks.  If not, he got extra sides so any vegetarians could have that instead.  He came back with the box and they went to the Federal Building.  Xander went up with one of his guards.  The local assistant director met him at the elevator.  "I wanted to thank them for their help."  He shook his hand.

"They're doing reports, sir."

"I've done a few of those in my time but probably less exacting than yours."  He walked with him into the office area.  "Guys, thank you for helping my slayer and with the hunter."  He put down the box with a grin.  "From one of the local steak places."  They all smiled.  "She'll be fine.  They're moving her back to Cleveland tonight to treat the demon poison better."   He shook the blond's hand.  "Thank you for trying to talk sense into me too.  My guards do that now and then."  He smiled.  "Good luck and easy cases, guys."  He left, going back to the car.

The blond looked in the box.  "Seven dinners, guys, and it looks like rolls."  They came over to browse, exchange sides if they didn't want that type of steak, and eat while doing reports.  It was nice of him.

***

John met Xander at the airport.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine."  He shrugged.  "Kamria will be okay so I'm fine."

"Good."  He clapped him on the arm, staring at him.  "They yell at you for jumping in?"

"Kinda, but they realize that's what I was trained to do."  His guards nodded.  "But they do want me to train them to deal with demon issues in case it happens in the future."

"Dean Winchester wrote it for you.  I suggested it last month," John admitted.  Xander nodded at that.  He saw the swallow.  "Hey, we'll work it out.  Even if I have to coopt some agents who can handle the post-combat stress problems and instincts you have.  Mine had that problem all too often."  Xander nodded.  "C'mon.  Let's have a beer?"

"Sure, I could use a beer."  They went to the car, the Secret Service forming their escort detail.  Xander looked at him.  "How do I not do that?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know since I do the same thing," John admitted with a grin.  "You should've heard them freak out when Jack jumped in to protect himself and his guards the first time.  I thought it was an emergency with all the yelling.  They gave me such dirty looks when I said 'good job'."  Xander smiled.  "So, I heard you fired an agent?"

"Snide ass bastard," he snorted.

"I got a report and the video from the place, Xander.  I agree, he was snide.  Technically you can't really fire him.  I have forwarded that to his director and he agreed he was snide and suspended him.  He's going to Alaska to guard Sarah Palin so he gets used to women who think out loud."

Xander grinned.  "I wish him luck."

"I did too.  How did you like that team?"

"They seemed nice," he said.  "I treated them to steak dinners for their help."

"I heard, and I liked that idea," John assured him.  He grinned.  "Their director was thinking about asking them to come to DC as part of your guard unit."

"I think they probably have lives in Denver and that's a really long commute.  I don't want them to hate me."

"We'd only ask, not demand," John assured him.  "They might know other agents who could handle our instincts too."

"Maybe.  Do you think they hold conventions for those sort of agents?"

John grinned.  "I don't know.  It's an interesting thought."  The car swerved.  "Problems?" John called.

"The Secret Service has stopped the suspect car, sir."

"Okay."  John got comfortable again.  They swerved again.

Xander and John both pulled weapons to check their clips, just in case.  When the car was stopped, Xander pushed John back down and locked him in before getting out to handle the incident.  John was more important than he was.

"What are you doing?" John shouted.

"You're the President, more important," Xander called back.  "It's my job to protect you too, John."  He got the other one coming his way, staring at it.  "Huh.  John, it's Riley."  Cars came screaming up with flashing lights.  He pointed.  "That's Riley Finn!"

Two agents pounced him.  "Sir, his ID says his name is Jack Ryan."

Xander stared at him.  "He's a former Ranger.  How hard is it to get a new ID?"  They nodded and arrested him anyway.  Xander walked closer.  "So, how are you enjoying the slayers?" he asked dryly.

"I'm not who you think, boy."

Xander snorted and took something off his neck, putting it on Riley's head.  The illusion around him wobbled and ended.  "Really?  You sure?"  Riley tried to get it off him and kick Xander but the agents were good.  "I don't know how you kept getting away before but I hope this time they fry you for it."  Xander took it back and put it back over his neck.  "Are we clear, guys?"  They all nodded so he let John out of the car.  "Sir."

John looked at him.  "I could've protected myself, Xander."

"You're the president and I don't want your job," he said bluntly.  "Therefore you're going to be overprotected for the next 3 years."

John snickered.  "I understand.  I'd do the same thing to Jack."  The agents gave him a dirty look.  He smiled at Xander.  "See?"

He looked and nodded.  "Yeah, I saw a few of those in Denver."  He looked around.  "Thank you, guys."

"Welcome, sir," they said patiently.  The Director of the Secret Service walked over and got them back into the safety of the car.  The agents smiled at him for that.  They got them back to their residences for their beer and it was easier.

***

The blond agent from Denver looked up as his boss walked into his office with someone he didn't know but who was clearly a higher up.  "Yes, sir?" he asked, putting down his pen.

"Son, what can I bribe you with to take your whole team to DC for the next few years?" the other higher up asked.

"Absolutely nothing."

"Are you certain?  We could use you guarding the White House.  Our people are good but they're not getting the Vice President or President's mindset all that well."

The agent stared at him.  "Why us?"

"Because you actually got the Vice President to listen to you, Larabee.  He followed your orders.  Half the time, my guys have to run after them both when things happen.  Like the other night."  He turned on one of the news channels.  They had been running the incident for two days straight.  "Mr. Harris said that it's his job to be the President's last guard of resort.  Which I can agree with.  Usually Sheppard would've grabbed a gun and gotten out to help.  My people are used to normal higher ups."

"You don't have any prior combat vets?" Larabee asked.

"Very few and they can't stand the demon issue that Harris brings.  We're thankful he put in a slayer guard but Harris does things like confiscate guns to clean them on the agents."  He looked at the agent again, sighing.  "We really could use your team."

"We have homes, horses, and my farm here, sir."

"I get that," he admitted.  "We could still use you.  We can rotate one of you out every few months if you'd want."

"There's really no agents in all of DC that can handle the kid?" he demanded.

Travis coughed.  "Apparently things like what happened at the convention center happen all the time," he told his agent.  "He's been known to jump in and protect his guards."

Larabee nodded.  "He did the same thing to us."

"We can't get him to understand that we're there to protect him," the Director of the Secret Service said.  "We had problems with O'Neill but he was a higher up by the time he got elected.  He was used to his people being protective over him because he was in charge.  Neither of these two are used to that.  Sheppard is a lead from the front lines guy and Harris is used to having to prove himself to overprotective girls repeatedly before they listen to him.  He tends to treat his guards like playmates half the time and trainees the rest."

"I understand your concerns, but Denver to DC is a hell of a commute to clean the barn every night."

"Can we rotate one of you out at a time?"

"I can't really be missing part of my team for the next three years," he said.

The director, clearly a desperate man, sighed.  "What if we can let you have a farm out there for the time you're out there?  That way you can mothball your one here and move your horses, plus your whole team, to DC.  To be honest, there's people in your DC office that hate our Vice President because he's the former arms master for the Council.  Apparently he dated a few arms dealers as well."  Chris Larabee burst out laughing.  "Not kidding.  He used something that was just this side of nuclear on a huge demon in Africa after having received it from a dalliance he had."

Chris snickered.  "You want me to teach them about horses as well?" he snorted.

"Sheppard's family has some.  Harris might not have ever seen one.  We're all for keeping him from being bored so he can't date while in DC.  Because honestly, it's a bad thought and even the dangerous agents think he's a bit too needy.  The one I know dated him came in late after missing a day.  She was limping, had the scariest smile on her face, and couldn't sit.

"All she could answer to 'what happened' was 'oral sex'."  Chris snickered.  "Please?  We'll bend over backwards.  We need him protected, if only from himself, and the boy listened to you.  He won't even listen to Summers-O'Neill most of the time and he listened to you.  The last person he listened to was O'Neill, who told Sheppard he was right to guard him during that incident."

Chris smirked.  "I'd have to discuss it with the team.  You'd have a full farm for me?"

"Yes.  We have three that are confiscated, one's near Camp David, one's about twenty minutes outside of DC proper, so probably an hour commute from the White House at the most."

"That's a hell of a commute," Chris complained.

"There's one closer but it's a crap pile that needs fixed," he admitted.  "Which you could probably get Harris to help you with.  He used to work construction before he went to Africa."

"Let me talk to my team.  I'll let you know in an hour."  Because it was pathetic to see the higher ups beg like that.  Chris still couldn't believe that there wasn't a single agent in DC who could talk the boy into sense.  The two higher ups went to Travis's office.  He called his team together into his office.  "Shut the door, Vin."  He shut it.  "The higher up you were ignoring on purpose is the director of the Secret Service."  They all groaned.  "He thanked us so much for help at the convention that he wants to move us all to DC."

Ezra snorted.  "They can't get anyone else who the boy will listen to?"

"Apparently not.  They've even offered us a farm space near the city."

"They're clearly desperate," Josiah said.  "Why?"

Chris pointed at the tv, turning up the volume.  They all watched and Vin moaned, shaking his head.  "Yeah, he sounds like us," Chris said dryly.  "Him and Sheppard both."  They all shook their heads.  "They're desperate, boys.  I told them we'd argue for an hour or so."

"He seemed like a nice guy, pretty plain spoken," JD said.

"He seems like a very down-to-earth sort," Nathan agreed.

"He's a gun nut," Chris said.  "They said he's been taking the agents' guns to clean on 'em."  They all snickered.  "That he used something this side of nuclear in Africa."  That got one gape from Ezra.  "You heard rumors?" he guessed.

"Definitely."

"Apparently he dates arms dealers," Chris said.  "So we'd have some work there."  They all groaned.  "But they think they need us.  Anyone got any suggestions to put in our place?"

"Not off the top of my head," JD admitted.  "Is he really that hard to guard?"

"Like with the demon at the meeting, he pushed his guards and us behind him," Vin said.  "He's a lot like Chris, only more agreeable."

"Can we actually move the horses that way?" Nathan asked.  Chris nodded.  "Are we agreeing to go?  Rain's gonna hate that."

Chris nodded.  "I'm not real fond of it at the moment either."

"Does the boy have an external home he might be visiting?" Ezra asked.  "As opposed to the usual vacation spots?"

"Not that I've heard," Josiah said.  "Sheppard doesn't seem to either.  Now and then they take off to Camp David to relax and drink heavily one night from the rumors."

Chris nodded.  "I've heard that too.  Don't blame 'em.  I'd do the same thing."  AD Travis walked in and looked at them.  "It's a nightmare to move us."

"It's a nightmare if you don't," Travis told him.  He changed the channel.  "Someone tried to attack him again.  Sniper and ground issues."  He looked at his best team.  "I'll hate to lose you guys for three years, but we need you in DC."

"I don't want to mothball my farm," Chris said.

"You can visit it all you want," he assured him.  "The usual rotation is three on the high profile targets, one off.  We can rotate all you boys off each one.  So you'll get three months of each, one month off in the office or wherever.  Maybe even at the farm.  We might be able to arrange it.  That way you can come home now and then."

"There's a lot of people who count on me," Vin reminded him.

"If something happens to Sheppard, we get Harris as the president and he's clueless about things.  Even for a year and you guys can train some of them tougher?"

They looked at each other.  "A month back here fully in Denver?"

"I'll make sure," he promised, going up to do that.

Chris looked at the others.  "This is truly a cluster fuck."

"Yes it is," Nathan sighed.  "I'll tell Rain.  A full year?"

"To train some guards so they can do their job the right way?  Probably," Buck agreed.

JD shrugged.  "I wonder if they're computer people too."

"I don't know.  Sheppard works with mega-brains," Buck told him.  "That McKay guy and his people."

Chris nodded.  "So he's used to smart and problems.  I read some of the mission statements that got released from his project.  They were all screwed and did what they could."

"So we should be fine," Ezra decided.  "I can help them shop possibly since they both look impeccably shabby half the time."  They all smirked at him.  "Fine, we will acquiesce with reservations as long as our needs are met."

Chris looked at the others, who all grimaced but nodded.  "It'll be different," Buck said.  "Whole lots of agents who need beaten for slacking.  We've got most of the ones here beaten into shape."

Chris nodded.  "Yup, all too many."  He looked around.  "Anyone not agree?"  Vin grimaced.  "I know but you can come back and make sure things stay safe every few months.  They said three months on then a month off.  Rotating between the two teams."

Vin nodded.  "I need ta warn some of my friends."

"Go do that, I'll make sure the deal stays."  They all nodded and left him to make sure the higher ups weren't going to screw them over.  He liked Denver.  A lot.  He had good memories here.  When the higher ups came in he looked at them.  "Did they ask for us?"

"No," Travis said.  "Harris had his guard call and complain that we were taking you from your job out here when he heard about it."

Chris smiled.  "I like the guy for that much."

"Can we agree?"

"I need to look over that farm to make sure it's a safe place for the horses," Chris said.

"I've called the DEA.  They have a seized former horse farm that is within forty minutes of the White House, on a good traffic day, that has a nice sized house and a bunk house, plus a ten stall barn."  Chris nodded so he pulled up the information file on it.  "Will that do?  The ASPCA was using it on loan for the last six weeks when their usual facility for horses and larger animals had a water leak that required a lot of rebuilding to fix."

Chris looked it over then nodded.  "Any trails?"

"Many.   It's near a national park as well."  He smiled.  "I think you'll like the area and I'm sure both of them would like some time out of the city themselves.  Before they drink themselves to death some weekend at Camp David.  Neither of them really get what to do as the commander in chief and frankly, if Harris gets it anytime soon we might all die.  Not from an outside attack, but because he'll be bored and date someone who'll blow us all up."

Chris snorted, shaking his head.  "We can help the boy learn his job better."

"Thank you, Special Agent Larabee," he said, shaking his hand.  "I'll have the paperwork done tonight so we can get you to DC in a few days.  No one's doing anything for a few days and Mr. Harris was relieved he could play sick and miss the Senate for a bit."  He left, going to call the director of the ATF and let him know they had agreed of their own free will.  The man owed him a bottle of expensive scotch for saying they'd have to bribe them with really big things.

Chris looked at Travis.  "A year?"

"You hope," he reminded.

"A year," he said more firmly.

"We'll talk about it in a year," he agreed.  He left them to do whatever, including pack their desks for the next year of being in alphabet agent city.

A Normal Life?

Chris Larabee walked into the oval office like it was his office.  "Mr. President."

"Special Agent Larabee."  He smiled.  "I have absolutely nothing planned for the next three days so we can help you figure out what we need to deal with things around here."

"We talked on the plane.  You're getting JD first, he's a bit hyper and bouncy but he's smart and very good at what he does.  You'll be getting him with Vin Tanner."  John nodded.  "That's for going out of the White House.  In here you'll get the usual guards."

"That's fine.  For Xander?"

"Ezra and I are taking him for right now."

"That'll work.  See if your nicely dressed teammate can talk to Xander about buying a suit that fits right?"

Chris smirked.  "He suggested that necessity himself."

"Good."  John smiled.  "For this upcoming weekend, I'm going to Atlantis.  As you know it'll take an act of some evil being to get to me there.  That way you guys have time to set up.  Xander's due to stay in town because he's going to something with one of the boards he sits on."

"That's fine.  We can work on him and his skills."

"I've had the arms master for Cheyenne teach him about our weapons as well," John warned.  "He's presently cooing over his staff weapon at home pretending to have the flu."

"I'd be more than happy to learn those myself.  Just in case some get out."

John smiled.  "That's pretty rare but if so, go for it."

Chris nodded.  "As long as we understand."

John smiled.  "Can I ride sometimes if I get someone to take care of my old horse?"

"Sure, why not."  Chris smirked.  John smirked back.  They had an understanding and it would be okay.  Chris went to take Ezra to Xander's so they could get used to him.

Xander opened his own door, staring at them.  "Gate security before you say a word.  That and I kinda have my inside guard tied up to banish the possession he's currently got."  He let them inside.  "So, what are we doing?  And if they forced you, I'm *so* firing a director of something.  Even if I have to make him cry and quit."

"No one forced us and they bent over backwards to make sure we'd be fine for the year we're here," Chris said calmly.  "Possessed?"

"Yes," he muttered.  "My last date."  He took them back to the kitchen so he could finish the depossession.  Finally his guard was free and Xander untied him.  "You go do religious stuff," he ordered.  "They're here to help you guys so we can talk until you're done."  He nodded and left, wiping off his face.  Xander sighed, looking at them.  "Beyond the usual excitement in my life, why pick you guys?"

"You listened to us," Chris said bluntly.  "And we're used to people jumping in the way you and your boss do."  Xander smiled and nodded.  "Also, Ezra is one of the better undercover operatives we have."

"Should I keep him out of the press?"

"No need.  It'll be fine," Chris assured him.

"Okay, second question.  This weekend's event is actually for a pro-gay charity."  Chris nodded once and looked at Ezra.

"I have been to such events on a female friend's arm," he admitted.  "Though, you need a better suit to be among that particular clique.  They will mock you for wearing such baggy attire."

Xander shrugged.  "As long as I'm comfortable I don't usually care.  Though I'm wearing a nice pair of pants and a sweater.  It's not black tie that anyone's told me.  I can check with Marian later."

"That would be fine," Ezra agreed.  "I'm told you're used to the women in your life making you shop?"

"Yeah, the Xander pack mule years," he sighed, shaking his head.  "I still have nightmares about the slayers going shoe shopping."  Chris snickered at that, shaking his head.  "Seriously," he assured him.  "I took twenty-eight slayers school shopping one fall.  It took us *five hours* to get through the shoe shopping and another two in Deb."  Chris shuddered.  "So I don't usually shop.  I have a suit shop and they're very nice about fitting it so I can move."

"There's ways of fitting your clothes so you can move that don't require them to be baggy and dowdy," Ezra assured him.  "We can handle that tonight?"

Xander winced.  "Payday's tomorrow."

"Surely you've not spent all of it?" Ezra asked dryly.

"Hell no, but Willow stole some of it for my retirement account.  Buffy's trying to talk her out of it but well... it's Willow and I'm about to paddle her again."

"I know, from the dossiers we got given, that your friends tend to think that they know what's absolutely right for you," Chris said.  "We can talk to her."

"She's in Cheyenne."

"Call John?"

"He might like to paddle her," he admitted, texting that to John.  He got one back.  "He said Cam Mitchell made her stop it last night.  Apparently I haven't checked since then."  He led them to the study to do that.  "This house is way too huge for me, guys."

"Thinking about a dog?" Chris asked.

"Thinking but I've never had a pet anything beyond a pet girlfriend."  He looked.  "No, it's not back.  It's...."  He switched accounts.  "Ah, it's in that account.  I really should move that out of Cairo."   He sighed and did that.

Ezra came over to look at the first one.  "That's more than enough to get you something that fits later on."  He patted him on the shoulder.  "Look at this bank," he offered, pulling up their homepage.  "They're fairly decent and give good interest."

"Baby money is nice," Xander agreed.  He sighed and shrugged.  "I'll screw with all that later.  I have that account, the retirement funds, and my usual checking account here to deal with."

Ezra nodded.  "A financial manager perhaps?"

"Then Willow would memory charm him," he said dryly.  He did something.  "There, the EFT from Cairo's bank is on its way.  That about closes that account."  His phone rang.  "Yes?"  He listened.  "No, Giles, that isn't the girls' account.  That's mine.  If you're taking money from my account, I get to throw a Buffy sized fit.  No, theirs isn't in Cairo.  Theirs is in Morocco because it was easier to get what they needed and the slayer house was closer to there," he said dryly.

"Yes, that's the slayer account.  Then I'd put all mine back, Giles.  No, if you didn't add the monthly expenses to it, you sure as hell didn't add it to mine.  Because I actually check my bank account and if I had seen that twelve grand a month I would've said something," he said bluntly.  "You know what, bring me there."  He hung up.  Nothing for two minutes.  He walked off and grabbed something.  "Be right back after I scream and yell like a slayer at a rave."  He crushed the thing and landed in front of Giles, staring at him.  He got into the computer the secretary had, showing him.  "The slayer account," he said bluntly.  "You've been putting money into it and sucking out of mine."

"I didn't realize they were separate," the secretary complained, taking her laptop back.

Xander stared at her.  "You're a crap liar," he said bluntly.

"Xander, that's uncalled for," Giles complained.

Xander glared.  "You let Willow steal out of my account too, Giles.  Cam Mitchell had to fix that one."  He glared at the assistant.  "By the way, you tried to close one out on me already.  I'd expect a visit from someone since that was a kidnaping reparation when he realized what he had done."  She blanched.  "That may be why you got that threat in the mail, yeah."

He smirked.  "Put it back, bitch, before I rip your head off and piss down your neck.  Your species likes it like that I'm told."  She got into her computer and started that process for him.  He glared at Giles.  "I'm changing all my accounts so they can't get into them.  Including Willow."

"I still had no idea they were separate, Xander," Giles complained.

"Why would I put their account across the continent from where they were?"

"Well, that is a good point but I had no idea if you had started it at first and then hadn't moved it."

"No, I traveled with it for their expenses since you didn't pay me expense money either."  Giles blanched.  "Yeah, this has been an ongoing problem."  Buffy strolled in with Jack behind her.  "Good, Buffy, slay this bitch for trying to steal from me then spank the hell out of Willow for the same cause?"

She nodded.  "I talked with Willow.  She said it was fixed."

"She sent it to the bank in Cairo that I haven't used in years."

"Oops.  Is it still there?"

"Needs to be sent back.  I got the EFT started.  Then I find out that Giles has been using *my* account for slayer money."

"Double oops," she sighed.  "Giles, did you get spelled by Willow this last time too?"

"Excuse me?" Xander demanded.  "She's slipping again?"

"You can't paddle her this time," Buffy ordered.

Xander stared at her.  "I won't let her get back to that point on the cliff," he said quietly.  "Are you?"

"No."

"She can't sit today though.  Sam Carter took her well in hand and did it for you," Jack said.

Xander stared at him.  "Does that mean it's fixed?"

"Hopefully.  We don't know why she surged, Xander."

"I do, she wanted to.  She was feeling human and decided she could safely start over again."

"Possibly," Buffy agreed.

Willow appeared.  "I'm not doing it again!" she shouted.

Xander stared at her.  "Then how did you cross the ocean by magic?" he asked.  She flinched.  She tried to disappear but nope.  The office had protections.  "I think we need to have another talk, Willow."

"No!  I promise I'm not, Xander!  I was trying to help you retire!"

"I'm in the Reserves.  If there's a problem I'm still going to jump in.  Just like Jack and John have."

"You can't!  You're normal!"

The secretary snorted.  "No he's not!  Normal people don't keep possessions the way he does, have visions, or date what he does."  She stood up and looked at him.  "You won't win reelection."

"I didn't want the damn job in the first place," he shot back, glaring at her.  She flinched and tried to run but Buffy got her down and made sure she wasn't doing it to others.  "Take that to JD," he ordered.  "Let him figure that out.  She probably got into John's too."  Buffy nodded, having herself beamed back to the White House with the computer.  Xander looked at Jack, then at Willow.  "I made a promise she wouldn't get back there again."

"I agree, she won't," Jack said.  "She needs something to block her backlog."  He stared at her.  "McKay has new solutions."  She tried to leave again but nope.  He got McKay there and he scowled at Willow, making her melt and look down.  "She's back in 'I know best' land, McKay.  Plus she's rebuilding magical stores."

McKay nodded, looking at her.  "You're backsliding?" he asked calmly.

"I'm trying really hard not to.  I was only helping Xander's retirement account.  That way he's not left penniless in a few years."

"He'll get a continual check from his current job for the rest of his life," McKay told her.  "The same as Jack does."

"I turned it down," Jack said.  "We can live on my retirement."

Xander nodded.  "I probably will too.  I might keep the health care option though."

"I did do that," Jack agreed.  They stared at her.  "Well?"

"I know that he has to retire.  He keeps getting injured and it's not good for the girls to see that."

"It's very good for the girls to realize they're not alone," Jack told him.  "It makes it easier to fight when things are going bad."  She shook her head.  He looked at McKay, who walked her off to tell her why that was so.  He sighed, looking at Xander.  "You good, kid?"

"I'm fine.  Why wouldn't I be fine?  Just a bit pissed at the 'you're normal' shit coming back."

"You're no more normal than I am," Jack reminded him.

"Um, dear, you're normal too," Buffy said as she walked back in.

"No, I'm not.  Not after having all that stuff done to me.  I'm nowhere near normal and neither is Xander.  She was right, you don't have his gifts with being normal."

"He's not a slayer."

"That doesn't make him normal," Jack said, staring at her.  "Beyond that, you've used that problem attitude for years to push him aside and he's always saved your ass.  Then he has to get unpissed at you.  Don't you think maybe it's time you stopped it and accepted he's here, he's decent at what he does, and he knows what he's doing?"

"He's still going to get hurt."

"That's my choice, not yours," Xander said firmly.  She flinched.  "For that matter, Mistress of the Slayer line, I've been in more battles than you have, alone and with a very minimal slayer force."  She glared.  He stared back.

"You never should've went to Africa."

"You brats never would've let me grieve in peace, which I needed, or left me alone about my eye."  She backed up, staring at him.  "For that matter, the brattiness problem?  I think I found the cause."  He stared at her.  "I've done nothing but help you and all the other slayers and you've continually cut me down like I'm weak and helpless.  Well, hate to tell you this, Buffy, but I'm not helpless.  I never have been helpless.  I knew what I was getting into."  She opened her mouth but he held up a hand.  "I've waited *years* to try to vent this problem.  Each time I do, you try again."

"You get hurt!" she complained.

"And you don't?" he demanded.

"You're missing an eye."

"Yeah, and yet I was in that final battle the same as you were.  Guarding some of the youngest and most vulnerable of you."  She shook her head.  He nodded.  "Yeah, I was on the right flank the whole time.  That's why I wasn't nearer to Anya when she died."  She sat down, slumping.  "I'm tired of that chorus.  I'm a combat vet just like your husband is, only my war was a bit less world ending for about eighty percent of the time.  It's not like I didn't save a few slayers by shooting the humans trying to kill them."  She flinched.

"Or blew a few up for the same reason.  I'm not your fucking whipping post so quit treating me like it and actually see that you still have some friends, Buffy.  Because you haven't been a friend in *years*."  He used the charm to get home and went to the gym to beat the shit out of something.  He slammed the door and locked it before they could interrupt him or try to talk to him.  In his current state, he'd snap and start to cry or rant.  They didn't deserve that.

Chris looked at Ezra.  "Apparently it was a bad meeting."

"Clearly so," he agreed.  He listened.  "He's hitting the heavy bag."

"We can wait," Chris agreed.  He went to check on the kitchen staff.  The housekeeper was making him dinner.  "He's upset in the gym."

She smiled.  "I never feed him directly.  He never eats.  I always make something he can warm up later."  She finished things and put it into the oven.  "Let me check his study since he was messing things up."  She got the dusting cloth and furniture polish and walked that way.

Chris went to lurk outside the gym.  Clearly something had happened.  JD called him to tell him that he had found all the money the Council's former secretary had moved and had locked it down so they could move it where it needed to go.  She had spent some but not a whole lot, but they knew on what because she had used a debit card.  He was informing Sheppard of that so he could get his money back first.  Then the rest could go to Xander.  Chris agreed and hung up, looking at the door.  "JD found it all," he called.

"Yay.  Can he find me new friends?"

"Maybe," Chris admitted.  "Most people like the boy."  Xander opened the door to stare at him.  "Nathan and Josiah are both good listeners if you wanna talk to them."

"No, not really at the moment.  I just told my former best friend what a shitty friend she was."  He closed the door again.  "It's gonna be hours, guys.  I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Fine," Chris agreed.  "I'm leaving Ezra here."  He looked at Ezra, who nodded for him to go.  Since he was down a guard, someone needed to stay with the boy.  Chris went to get a sitrep from the others and check on the horses since they had been flown out today.  Maybe he'd bring the boy out here tomorrow to calm him down some.  He had no idea what had started that fight but it was probably something that a heavy bag alone wouldn't cure.

***

Buffy appeared in a flash of light, looking at John.  "I so screwed up.  Jack and Xander were right and I need to apologize but Xander won't even answer his phone."

John looked up from his reading in bed.  "He's probably asleep since it's two in the morning."

"Ooh.  Sorry."  She winced.

He shrugged.  "I was putting myself to sleep.  As for Xander, yeah, apologize for that shit, Buffy.  Please?  He's been in a storming rage all night according to the reports from his place.  So, tomorrow morning, apologize first thing."

She nodded.  "I will.  Thanks, John."

"Welcome."  She smiled and left.  He shook his head, turning off the light so he could go to sleep.  Thankfully Jack had woken him up so he had time to put on pajamas.  He didn't want to know what Buffy would do if she saw him only in his boxers.  Or what Jack would do.

***

Xander looked around the farm the next day.  "Drug dealers?"

"Probably," Chris admitted.  "How can you tell?"

"They put bling on the barn."  He pointed.  Chris looked then snickered at the shiny roof-line lights, nodding.  "Are you sure they won't bite?"

"Vin's horse will bite.  The others will suck up attention if you have sugar cubes."  He took him to the barn, letting him get used to the horses, and the new one that was there.  He stared at her.  She was an old mare.  Not beaten down but graying nose fur and a few other gray hairs in her coat showed her age.  "I'm pretty sure that's John's horse."  He handed the boy the box of sugar cubes.  "Hand flat," he warned quietly.  Xander put his hand out and Vin's horse ate it then snuffled the boy's cheek.  Chris smiled.  "Usually Peso bites me."

Xander hesitantly petted his nose, making him a happy horse.  "You're sweet."  He moved on, feeding the others a treat, including John's horse.  She nearly nuzzled him to death for it.  Xander cooed, feeding her another then went back around to treat the rest of them again.  Ezra's horse lipped his cheek and hair, making the boy grin.  "I like you too, sweetheart."  He petted him gently, making him happy too.

Vin walked in.  "Peso, you up for some yard time?"  His horse flattened his ears and glared at him.  "Hey," he complained.  "Want in the sunlight?"

Xander came over.  "C'mon, we can go sun ourselves."  The horse glared at him too.  "Please?  The others can go if you ask nicely."

"They can go out too," Chris agreed.  He let them all into the paddock.  John's horse kicked up her heels and trotted around being happy.  The boy laughed but leaned on the fence.  Ezra's horse came over to nuzzle him for more sugar, getting a Larabee glare.  "You've had plenty."  The horse ignored him.  "Ez, your horse is learning how to mug people," he called.

Ezra came out with bottles of cold water.  "That's enough," he said firmly.  He looked at the horse he didn't know.  "John's?"  Chris nodded.  "Wonderful."  He petted his own horse, giving him a piece of carrot.

"Do the others get jealous?" Xander asked.

"If they do, they can beg their humans.  The same as every other pet does."  He smiled as his horse trotted off.  The boy got a bottle of water, letting John's mare come drink some from his hand.  Vin went to fill the trough for them, smiling the whole way.  "You do seem to like animals."

"I like animals more than I do some people.  Unless they're attacking or something.  Because the ones who tried to eat me sucked but usually tasted okay."

Ezra laughed.  "Most of them are tasty, yes."  The mare nudged him and got an extra sugar cube, dancing off to play some more.  "She's clearly lively."  JD pulled up with John, both of them walking over.   John's horse whinnied loudly and jumped the fence to nuzzle her human.

"I missed you too, Blossom."  He petted her, making her a happy horse.  "Good girl."  He saw Xander watching and waved him over.  "C'mon."  He came walking over.  Blossom nuzzled him.  "Ah, gave her sugar," he said dryly.  Xander smiled and nodded.  "Here, pet her here and you'll have a pretty good friend for life."  Xander scratched the spot on her neck.  She groaned and let him do whatever he wanted.  When Xander got done, he walked Blossom back to put her back in the paddock.  "Go play and we'll ride in a bit."  She went back to playing.  He smiled at Chris.  "Thanks."

"You more than most need the mind clearing time," he said.  He watched the boy, who was staring at the trees.  "Kid?" he called quietly.

"Shh," Xander said, waving a hand.  He squatted down, staring at the same spot.  Then he got up and slowly walked over.  "You poor thing," he crooned, carefully moving closer.  They all heard a roar and John pulled a gun.  "It's all right.  I won't let them hurt you, sweetheart.  Yes, that's a good girl."  He growled when she snarled, making the cub whimper.  "Such a good cub."  He picked her up like a mother cub would and tucked her into his arms.  "Such a good cub," he cooed.  She whined.  "Guys, do we have any milk?  She's barely got opened eyes," he called.

Ezra looked over.  "What is it?"

"Cheetah."

Ezra blinked, looking at Chris.  "How on earth?"

"No clue," Chris admitted.   "Vin, get him some milk while we get DNR here."  He jogged up to the house and came back with a small bowl and a carton.  Chris called their contact number for the communication officer handling the agents on guard.  "It's Larabee.  No, not an attack," he sighed, cracking up John.  "We're at the farm and Harris just found a cheetah cub.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "They'll come over soon, kid."

"Sure.  We're good."  He and Vin let the thing drink all it wanted.  "They're so soft," he said quietly.

"They are, all cubs are," Vin agreed.  "But you can't have it near the horses."

"I know.  Horses are like gazelle."  He grinned.  "Gazelle tend to freak out about my scent so I was hoping horses were nicer and they are."

"They usually are.  Ours are mostly smart ones."  A truck pulled up and Vin looked then waved.  "He found her in the bushes."

The DNR agent walked over slowly.  "Is she hand-raised?"

"Yeah," Xander said with a smile.  "Barely has her eyes open.  Let me pick her up and move her away from the trap I found."

Vin looked and went to fix that problem.   "Bear traps," he called.  It snapped and the cub flinched but Xander purred and she calmed down again once she was tucked up against his chin.  Vin stared.  "I've seen bigger hunting cats do that before."

"That's how I learned it," he admitted.

"We can have the woods checked," the DNR agent said.  "Can I, sir?"

Xander cooed and handed her over.  He cuddled it the same way, making it quit shaking.  He smiled at him.  "You're good."

"I learned in the wilds."  He grinned back, giving her another pet.  "You'll have a nice life somewhere safe, dear."

Chris came over.  "She really is a baby."

"Yup," Xander agreed.  He handed him the milk.  He heard another trap snap and a swear.  "You okay?" he called.

"I'm good but she had a family."  He came out to look at the agent.  "The momma's ear tagged like a deer."  The DNR agent grimaced.  "Two other cubs, both shot.  This one apparently got real lucky."

"Thanks."  He took her back to the truck and then came to get the remains.  Xander grimaced staring at them.  "Someone will be charged, sir."

"Thank you."  The DNR agent put the dead ones into the back of the truck and got in to drive off.  The cub was trying to climb into his shirt so he let her sit wherever she wanted.

"Maybe the National Zoo will have a new cub," Chris said quietly.  Xander grinned at that.  "Did you bring another shirt?  The horses will freak out if you smell like her."

"Um....  Did I put an emergency pack in your truck?"

Chris nodded.  "I remember you putting something in there."

"Then probably.  Can I bum the shower?"

"Sure.  Good plan."  He took him to do that.  The bag got a longer look once the boy was inside.  Crossbow, bolts for the crossbow, six guns, with various clips and types of bullets, two knives, one small axe, and a small sword.   Ezra looked over his shoulder.  "No artillery."

Ezra looked at something and pulled it out, holding up the shrunken box.  "I believe someone was a Harry Potter fan," he said dryly.  Chris put it back, shaking his head quickly.  "At least he's not wearing it."

"True, he's leaving it in the bag," he agreed.  He put it back into his toolbox and went to the horses.  "Vin, you change?"

"Yeah, and scrubbed my arms."  He walked Xander back out when he came out tucking in a new shirt.  "Thanks."

"I wouldn't want them to freak out."  He walked back over.  Blossom nuzzled him, ignoring John for a few minutes, then went back to her human.  "I like you too, Blossom."

John smiled.  "My mother named her."  He looked the boy over, then at Chris.  "Think we can get him onto a horse soon?"

"After we clear the woods," Chris agreed.  Xander beamed at him, bouncing some.  "It's not hard and it's relaxing."

"Usually I clean weapons for that."

"This'll be a better option," Chris assured him with a smirk.

"Maybe."  He cooed at Ezra's horse, getting nuzzled and lipped again.  "Such a good boy."

Ezra shook his head, waving the curry comb.  "Want some more work on your coat?"  He got ignored.  That was unusual.  He came over to save the boy.  "I doubt he has more sugar."

Chris snickered, getting the bag from the barn.  Xander liked to spoil the horses and they were being good today.  Even Peso wasn't biting today.  He was proud of the horses.  They'd get the boy back to a normal guy again sometime soon.

***

Ezra walked into Xander's room that night.  "Grab things and let's go."

"Go where?"

"To make you pretty enough that all the gay men at the dinner this weekend won't snipe at you."  Xander grimaced and shuddered.  "It is necessary.  You can be comfortable and still look nice."  He walked him out, taking the new financial packet from JD.  "All the new ones?"

"Yup," JD said with a smile.  "It's all been moved to a safer bank and they were warned that he knows a hacker.  The new credit card and debit card are both in there too."

"That shall work," Ezra agreed.  He took Xander out to his car.  It was safer than a formal trip with more guards.  Xander looked around the area of the city they went to oddly.  "You've never been down here?"

"No, I went to Jack's suit shop."

"That explained a lot."  He smiled as he parked and got the boy into the store.  "Gentlemen."  They smiled at him.  "I'm sure you know my compatriot."

"Yes, sir."

"He needs to be comfortable.  He's very much a man of action."

"I need to be able to defend myself if something happens," Xander agreed.

"We can help with that," one of the salesmen said, coming over to show him nice things that would make him look nicer.  Xander shook his head at one thing but they made him try one on anyway.

Ezra looked.  "That doesn't show your assets too much but would be appropriate to keep all the old biddies in the Senate from pinching."

Xander looked at him.  "They're kinda hateful.  They never pinch me."

Ezra smiled.  "They'll get over it."

"Maybe.  Maybe when I get to retire."

Ezra smirked.  "It will be sooner than that I'm sure."  He handed him a shirt.  "That would look nice on him."

Xander got talked into trying it on and it was better.  He looked successful, hot, and handsome.  "Wow," Xander said.

"Indeed," Ezra said.  "We'll take them."  He handed over the boy's debit card.  They ran it and then the credit card.  "I will have to club JD over the head."

"Are we sure it wasn't Willow?" Xander asked dryly.  "In the emergency bag I slid into everyone's trunks, there's some cash."  Ezra went to check on that, bringing it back.  He called JD on the way.  He checked and told him what was going on.  JD decided to make sure Willow couldn't hack the boy ever again.  They got everything back for him and it was resettled.  Ezra came back and nodded.  "It's fixed?"

"Yes, JD is a much better hacker than she might ever be."  He smirked and took the bags, taking the boy to the car.  He had a few more planned stops.  Then he'd go through the boy's closet and fix things on him.  The next one was a suit shop.  Xander made a whining noise.  "You will look just as nice," he assured him.  "Unless you wanted to go higher end shopping?"

"No.  I'm not the sort to own suits."

"For the next three years you have to have a few."  He walked the boy inside and the clerk in there sighed in pleasure.

"Finally someone brings you to us, Mr. Harris."

Xander shrugged.  "I have to be comfy and able to move if I have to defend myself."

"Yes, but those other things do nothing for your butt."  He walked him off to measure him.  Xander tried on something but it was too baggy.  They got him into something that fit correctly but the boy balked.  "Why not?"

"Because if we're attacked, I have to be able to move," Xander said.  "I can't move in these.  These will tear since they're so tight."

"There's ways of adding fabric without making them too baggy," Ezra said, going to look.  He found a different fabric.  "Here, try this on.  It's got a bit more give as a fabric.  It's a lot more hardy at the thicker versions."  Xander nodded, taking it to try on.  He looked at them.  "He uses a sword as well."  The clerk grimaced.  "He's very hot with one."

"I saw him at that last battle," he said quietly.

"He's still attacked now and then."  That got a nod and something different got selected and put in for him to try on.

Xander came out in the first. "They're a bit tighter.  I know I can't sit in them."

"We don't have the bigger size right now but we can find something," the clerk said.  "The color doesn't do much for you either."

"He's going to the dinner this weekend," Ezra said.

"We have something very nice," he assured him, going to the highest end room.  He came back.  "This is a heavy silk, which will not tear."  He smiled.  "Even if you have to roll around on the ground due to a bad boy or girl."

Xander smiled.  "It's been a while since I had a bad boy."  Ezra looked at him oddly.  "After some of the women I dated?  Yeah, I went for something less complicated.  They never were intended to be long term things but they were nice while they lasted."  The clerk smiled at that but the smile didn't go for his eyes.  "That was their choice, not mine."

He shrugged.  "Some men only want the O."

"I had a former fiancee like that.  She was all about the O, all day long.  Every day.  Eight, ten a day if possible."  The clerk gave him an awed look.  Xander nodded with a grin.  "She was neat.  We were still in Sunnydale then."  Cordelia faded in and scowled.  "And of course, my single fashionable ex.  Yes, Cordy?"

"That color will look bad on him.  Make him look like a gigolo.  He should be."

"I can banish you again," Xander quipped.  "I'm going to a gay charity event."

"Hopefully someone there will adopt you," she quipped.  "That way that bounciness of yours is finally cured."

"If I find someone there I'm interested in, I'll gladly glut myself on them until they got tired of me.  Wouldn't be the first."  She glared at him.  He smiled.  "After I lost Anya, I had a few brief flings that didn't want more than that."  He shrugged.  "Why would I be worried about that?"

"People won't like that," she sneered.

"Why do I care?"  She gave him a funny look.  "I didn't ask to be appointed.  I was in the hospital recovering from liver damage actually."

"Oh.  Then you don't want to go higher?"

"When was the last time you saw me freak out?" he asked.

"The other day when you lost it on Willow."

"No, I meant really freak out.  Like the breakdown after Grad."

"About three months ago," she admitted.

"Now you know why."

She huffed.  "The Powers don't like this job of yours."

"They're the ones that let us get elected."

"Fine, whatever.  Go looking like a pimp so they cure this bounciness before things happen."  She gave him a pointed look.

"I always have a gun on me, dear.  You know that.  Plus an emergency kit within reach."  She groaned, fading out.  He shook his head, looking at Ezra.  "Apparently someone thinks I need laid again.  I wonder if the last agent I saw is in town.  She was fun and cute."

"I heard she had a problem getting to work on time," Ezra said, hiding his shock.

"Well, yeah, I made her a bit sore with all the sex."  He shrugged.  "This one's a little tight across the shoulders and I can't sit."  They got to work fixing it, giving him worried looks.  "That was my ex Cordelia.  She used to be head cheerleader.  We'd snark at each other then go make out in closets."  They both laughed at that.  "Yeah, that was foreplay for her.  Too bad she's kinda not touchable or I'd break my bounciness streak again with the way she was staring at my butt."

The clerk cackled and got him pants to show that off and that were better fitting.  "I like this color," he decided.  "I wear it a lot in my t-shirts."  They nodded and got him prettied up for that night.  Ezra made him go to another store and picked out cufflinks plus a few new shirts.  That was nice.  They went home, Ezra told Chris what she had said while Xander went to work out since he hadn't yet that day.  Then Ezra got to clean out the boy's closet.  He had to have better tastes.

***

John looked at the report Buck gave him, giving him a smug look.  "No, Bethany's not in town.  She transferred to Oregon so she wouldn't be tempted to take him out again."  Buck snickered.  "It was nice it took her over a day to recover from the good sex."  He went back to the paperwork.  "Where is Xander going this weekend?"

"Gay event."

"Which of you guys is going?"

"I think Vin's going as the backup security with Ezra.  I'm not sure though, Chris hasn't decided.  Every time he goes to those, he gets pinched a lot so he tries to avoid them."

John nodded.  "Me too for the same reason."  Buck left him alone.  John smirked.  Maybe Xander would find someone nice there.  He could use someone nice.  Or maybe a lot of someones nice.  With Xander, you never knew.

***

Xander walked into the event, smiling at the hostess.  "Thank you for letting me come do something worthwhile this weekend," he said.

"It's an honor.  Usually the white house doesn't pay much attention to us."

Xander shrugged.  "I've dated some really nice guys in the past."  She gaped.  He smirked.  "They didn't want anything more than fast."

"That's a shame."  She walked him off.  His guards were behind them.  "I know a few very nice agents in here."  Xander beamed at that suggestion.  She walked him over to one.  "Agent Stevens."

"Ma'am," he said, staring at his boss.  "Sir."

"Relax."  Xander shook his hand.  "It's a pleasure to meet you."

He grinned back.  "Is this why Bethany said she had to move?"

"No.  I think I wore her out too much.  The message she left on my voicemail said I wore her out too much."  He shrugged.  "Then again, my past lovers usually complained about that."

Agent Stevens laughed and pushed back some of his dark hair.  "That's good to know, sir."

"Xander.  I hate being sir'd."

"Fine, Xander then."  He grinned.  "Which table are you at?"  He walked him off to check.  They got settled and he sat next to him to talk to him.  Xander was clearly good for his career but also very bad for him personally.  It was a heady combination.  The guards were ignoring it, focusing on the room.  When the music started he managed to talk the guy onto the floor, making him blush because he wasn't much for slow dancing but he moved well.  At least until he stiffened in his arms.  "Sorry," he said quietly.

"No, I just heard someone yell," he muttered.  He looked around while they were dancing.  Ezra pointed at him to stay out there, they were handling it.  He relaxed slightly and smiled.  "They apparently have it."

"That's their job," he agreed with a smile of his own.  "I'll protect you for now."

"I don't need much protecting usually but fun I could use more of."  Brian, as he found out what his name was, got happy with that thought, earning a wink and a smirk.  They could get some happies later maybe, if the situation wasn't too bad.  Finally Vin came back without Ezra.  "Need help?" he asked quietly.

"Ezra is having the fighting couple arrested.  She found her wife here and got pissed off," he said quietly.  "So we're clear."  Xander nodded, changing Brian for Vin for the next dance since it looked awkward.   "I'm not used to this stuff, sir."

"I told you I'm Xander, even if you're guarding me, Vin.  And relax.  Neither am I.  I'm used to clubbing, not formal stuff."  Vin grinned at that.  "Makes no sense to come to these things and be bored like you were."  He let him go and went back to Brian.  Vin got a bit teased by Ezra when he came in but when Brian got a sudden call out, Ezra danced with him instead.  "Thank you."

"There is no end to the call-outs some nights," he admitted.  He led him back to the table.  It was a nice event.  "Very nice DJ."

"Very," Xander agreed.  "I'm still more used to clubbing than this."

"That would be a dangerous hobby to partake of," Ezra pointed out.  "Many too many variables to deal with.  Many people, liquor fueled aggressions, and drug induced stupidity.  Plus you probably wouldn't be able to remove anyone for a discreet dalliance in the back room."

"Which is a sucky thing.  Though if you're doing it right you can get happy on the dance floor."

Ezra looked at him.  "Usually that's frowned on."

"That depends on the club you're in," Xander countered with a grin.  "Some of the underground ones it's all good."

"Definitely not while we're here," Ezra said.

"They're for younger guys anyway," Vin reminded him with a grin.

"I know.  I feel horribly old some days already."  He shrugged and sipped his water.  He grimaced and handed it over.  "Funny tasting citrus stuff."

Ezra tasted a bit and shrugged.   "They used Spanish lemons instead."

"Oh, okay.  I've only had lemonade and pie lemons."  He shrugged and took it back to sip.  He looked around.  "Hmm.  E news is here."  He pointed.  They glared at the reporter.  Xander snickered.  "They do love to stalk us, guys."

"Of course they do," Ezra agreed.  "You're single and powerful.  They want to know what you're doing and who you're doing."

"I never do anything interesting these days," Xander said with a shrug.  "They would've had better stories back when I was in Africa or working in Cleveland."

"For some of that they'd need to spend millions to remake for the big screen," Vin teased.

Xander smirked.  "You have no idea, Vin.  Really."  He looked over as someone came up to him.  "Hi."

"Mr. Harris, may I have the next dance?" he asked, flashing his ID at the guards.

Ezra nodded.  "He's safe."  Xander smiled and let himself be led out there.  He watched.  "We do have to get the boy more used to dancing like a man instead of a boy."

Vin shrugged.  "All that stuff confuses me, Ez."

"I know."  He went out to take the next dance.  "Let me lead," he said once he had Xander in his hands.  Xander smiled and nodded, letting him show him how it was done.

"Should I put on heels?"

"Why would you?" Ezra asked.

"That's how the girls finally taught me rhythm."

"No need this time."  He made sure he had it for the next dance and handed him over to another agent.  Who suspiciously got called out as well.

Xander came back from his last dance smiling.  "I think their boss is paranoid since that was a call-out to the main building and the director's office," he said quietly.

"You could be quite politically dangerous," Vin agreed.  "Good agents don't do that though."

"No, we do not," Ezra agreed.  "They probably see a possible backlash by you being here.  The conservative sort," he said at Xander's clueless look.

Xander shrugged.  "Screw 'em.  I'm not hiding who I am for anyone.  They already hate me anyway.  They don't like John for not having a present wife.  Because they decided he should run out and purchase one or something to make him appear more family friendly," he said dryly.  "Me too apparently."

"I think that would have caused more problems," Vin said.  He shrugged.  "But I don't pretend to understand those sort anyway."

Xander shook his head.  "Me either."  He smiled at a young woman walking his way.  "Yes, miss?"

"Can I have this dance, sir?"

"As long as you call me Xander," he teased.  He stood up and walked her out there to dance with her.

"Any idea who she is?" Vin asked quietly.

"One of the stand-in weather girls at one of the local news stations," Ezra said dryly.  "She's not asking him any questions though."

"That's nice of her," Vin agreed.  Xander quipped something and she giggled and said something, making a conversation start.  Xander gave her a dirty look over something but she grinned and winked, making him laugh.  "Hmm.  She's cute at least."

"I doubt he'll ask her to sneak over," Ezra said.  "That would draw too much attention."

"True."  They watched as they broke up and Xander came back.  "No more dances?"

"She wanted the status."  He sat down and watched the room.  The reporter for E news was having an orgasm to her camera.  He pointed.  "She's going to need to change clothes soon," he hissed.  Vin looked then cackled.

Ezra smirked at him.  "Quite possibly from the drool as well."  Xander nodded.  "You should ask her to dance, get it out of the way."

Xander smirked.  "Preemptive strike?  I like that."  He smiled at the man walking over to him.  "After you," he decided, taking him out to dance, making him a happy Sergeant.   Then he went to interrupt her report.  "May I have a dance?"   She gaped at him, microphone falling out of her hand.  He grinned.  "You probably want to ask something anyway.  Best get it out of the way and I'm sure you could use some movement outside of this corner."  He held out a hand.

She took it and walked off, letting him dance with her while she asked nosy questions.  He dodged most of them and answered only one fully.  She pouted about that but oh well.  She went back to her report.  She was still gushing and happy but he wasn't going to give her an exclusive interview.

***

Xander walked past the press secretary the next day.  "Who yelled for me to come in today?"

"Everyone.  You're gay?"

Xander stared at him.  "I like personalities.  Want me to talk to them?"

"Please, sir."

Xander walked into the press corps room.  "Who's whining about what now?"

"Sir, you're gay?"

"I've dated both men and women but none of the men I dated have ever wanted something more than fun.  They told me I'm meant for sin, not for heaven."  He smirked.

"Sir, when did you come out of the closet?" one shouted.

Xander stared at her.  "I've never been in a closet for more than making out," he said dryly.  "Everyone who knows me knows that.  I've never hidden anything.  I'm a very blunt, take me as I am because I'm not changing for anyone, sort of man.  I don't care who doesn't like it.  Whether they be fundies or family oriented people who I usually just freak out because of the Council stuff.  Even if it's the hippies I don't care.  I'm not going to change who I am for anyone."  He stared them down.  "You guys didn't appoint me for my dating record.  Hell, most of the guys I've seen were slightly nicer than the women.  None of them were arms dealers."  He smirked as he walked off.

"How many were assassins?" John asked as he walked past him.

"Two, both Russian.  There for a bit I thought they were stalking me but it turns out they were teammates and the first bragged," he said with a grin.  "He's the one who told me I was built for sin instead of for heavenly pursuits."  He smirked.  "Want to yell at the director of the FBI for pulling his guys out for dancing with me?"

"Yup," John agreed.  "Because that's stupid of him."  He went to have that talk with him.  He agreed, Xander should be happy.  Preferably with an honest, slightly dangerous man who would keep him happy in bed as well.  Hopefully he'd get to wear the goofy look Buffy made Jack have most of the time.

***

Chris watched Xander as he sat on JD's horse.  JD was at the white house right now so Chris was giving him his first riding lesson.  "Don't shift too much.  It'll rub the saddle against her coat."  Xander quit shifting.  "You comfy?"

"Not quite."  He shifted once more and nodded.  "There, more like riding....  Never mind."

Chris smirked.  "She's a bit wider than most of the guys you've probably played with, Xander."  He took the reins and walked her around the paddock, making him get comfortable with that.  Xander was grinning like a little kid.  It was good to see.  He handed back the reins.  "Okay, not too loose or too tight."  Xander nodded, putting them like Chris had shown him.  Then Chris let him walk around the ring on his own.  "Nice job."  Xander grinned again.  "Go around a few more times."

"Willow told me a fair she went to had rides like this."

"Some do," he agreed.  "A few of the pony rides aren't run by good people but some are nicer."  He helped the boy stop.  "Now, let's dismount.  Your butt's going to be sore."

"I have a huge temporary tub," he quipped.

"Ever think about buying yourself a place for after all this?" Chris asked.

Xander shrugged.  "I don't make plans that far in advance.  They tend to get ruined."  He petted the horse gently.  "Thank you, my dear.  You were much more fun than a matron scowling at me today."  The soft nose nuzzled him and let Chris take off her saddle.  Chris taught Xander how to tend to her coat and then they let her go play.

"Maybe you should make a few plans," Chris said finally.  "You probably don't want to go directly back to the slayer camp in Cleveland.  You'll probably want some time getting used to people not staring at you so much."

Xander nodded.  "Maybe."

"You're making more than enough to afford a house somewhere."

Xander shrugged.  "I have no idea where I want to end up."  His phone beeped with two text messages at once.  "Huh."  He read the first one.  "The head diplomat said I cannot embarrass them again.  Oh, and Prince Ral is here."  He smirked.  "I wonder what I did to be embarrassing this time."  He called that one.  "What did I do to embarrass you this time?"  He listened to the careful instruction on not taking any diplomatic gift.  "Isn't that rude?"  He sighed.  "I know, that would mean I was showing favor.  But hell, if all my ex's gave me more stuff would you complain?"  The man hung up spluttering.  Xander looked at Chris.  "I have to reappear at the hotel downtown to talk a former boyfriend into not giving the US a new present.  I'll see you there?"

"You don't get to drive by yourself," Chris reminded him dryly.  He put the horse up and drove him back to his place so he could change and get pretty.  He looked him over.  "Go change into something Ezra bought you," he ordered.  "You look more sloppy than usual."

"The last time he saw me I was in jeans shorts and a t-shirt," Xander complained but went up to do that.  He came down dressed casually but better.

Chris gave it a long look.  "Those aren't what Ezra bought you but fine."  He walked out with him, taking him to the right hotel.  He ran into Vin and JD there.  "Your mare's back up," he told JD.  "The kid rode around for a bit and got the hang of it pretty easily."

"I've ridden a camel," Xander reminded him with a grin.

"A lot different than a horse.  Most horses don't spit."  He looked at his teammates.  "What's going on?"

"Sheppard came to greet the Princes who came in for some minor shopping and banking stuff.  They wanted to talk to Xander for some reason," Vin reported.

"He looked really happy to see John and talked about knowing Xander," JD reported.

"Yeah, he caught me taking down a hellgate when he was on vacation in Jordan," Xander admitted.  He smiled at John as he walked up with Buck.  "They fussy?"

"No.  They're very happy."  He clapped him on the arm.  "I'll see you later for our meeting."

"We have a meeting?" Xander asked, looking confused.

"With the head diplomat."

"Oh, him.  He told me I couldn't accept any presents."  He shrugged.  "I think he's having a seizure."  He walked off, Chris following.  The guards on the suite's door stared then one smiled and opened it.  "Thanks, Riyad."  He walked in.  "Prince Ral and Prince Sel."  He bowed and smiled.  "Nice to have you here in DC."

"Xander," Ral said, coming over to hug him.  "My wife wishes to meet you."  He winked.  "She was most pleased that remembering meeting you gave us a son."  He walked him off to meet his wife and son.  Xander cooed over the baby and her, making her laugh but shake his hand.

Xander grinned at them once they were done with the greeting stuff.  "Why did the head ambassador have a hissy and tell me not to embarrass him?"

"I have no idea," the wife said.  "I believe he wanted you to not accept the present we have for you for helping us conceive a son."

Xander shrugged.  "I'm told I'm not allowed to accept presents at all," he admitted.  "Which makes dating kinda hard sometimes."  They all laughed and nodded.  "I'm happy he's healthy and that I could help."

"Still, it would be rude not to accept it," she pointed out.

"I leave that stuff to the diplomats."  He looked at her.  "I got told he was going to paddle me this time."

"Hmm.  We'll work that out then," she promised.  She patted him on the knee.  "My husband said you should shop more."

"My new guards took me the other day.  We raided a great many stores."

Prince Ral smirked.  "Perhaps but not enough."  He looked him over.  "You looked more comfortable in those silly looking shorts, Xander."

"I know but I can't wear jeans to the Senate and to things."  He shrugged.  "I do what I must until I can flee in relief."

"We understand fully," Sel told him with a smirk.  "I do much the same some weeks."

"It must suck to be even closer to being in charge," Xander told him.  "I'm glad I only have to do little things."  They all grinned at that.  "Though the press will drive me to drink someday soon."

"I fully understand that," Ral agreed.  He glanced at Chris, then at the boy.  "My brother needs a favor as well," he said quietly.

Xander looked at him, then at his brother.  "What sort of favor?"

"We have three daughters.  Two we believe are future slayers."  Xander winced.  "It is an honor but painful."

"I can recommend how to train them before they get called.  That way they're ready in case something happens."

"We have some of the best trainers from multiple militaries," he assured him with a smile.  "It was a wise thought though.  No, my wife wishes a son."

Xander nodded slowly.  "How can I help with that?"

"We believe that what you did for my brother helped him," he said bluntly.

Xander nodded.  "I'm not against that," he admitted with a smile.  "But I'm not sure how I helped him have a son."

"Hmm.  Nothing special?"

"No.  Not that I remember doing.  It was good, very good, but I don't remember casting on him or anything."

"I understand.  Can we try anyway?"

"Of course.  I know how important it is for you to have a son."  He looked at Chris, who casually went to look out the windows.  "When would be a good time for your wife?"

"Tonight?"

"I'm told I have a meeting with John later and the ambassador, but otherwise I think I'm free."  He smiled.  The prince smiled back and led him to meet his wife.  They could do so now.  Xander did pull out something to put on.  "I was wearing this so maybe it helped."  He took off all the other jewelry then his clothes.  The prince did the same.

Chris looked over at the noise, shaking his head.  "I hope he gets the son he wants," he said at the other prince's look at him.  "A son does a man good."  He knew what importance they had for the Middle Eastern families.  He went back to staring outside and ignoring them.  When the baby fussed he looked but left it alone.  The mother handled it well.  They had staff to help her too he was sure.  Xander finally came out a few hours later looking a bit sweaty but calm and collected.  Chris raised an eyebrow at him.  Xander smiled and they left after he fussed over the baby again.  Once they were in the car, Xander shrugged.  "No idea why?"

"No.  I'm hoping it worked.  If not, I have no idea how to help him," he said quietly.  His phone beeped again.  "That got annoying an hour ago."  He looked at the text message.  "John's impatient."  Chris drove them that way.  "It's much nicer doing it this way instead of with a limo and a security escort."

"It is," Chris agreed. "Plus less attention on you so it's safer."   He pulled into the White House, getting a nod for them to go in.  Chris parked and walked Xander into the oval office.  "Sir, safely as ordered."

"Thanks, Chris.  Xander, what did they want to give you?"

"No idea," Xander admitted.  "They know the diplomat said I couldn't accept anything."  The head diplomat sighed.  "They're shopping for their son."

"I saw him.  He's adorable.  Why are you an honorary godparent?"

"I met his father while I was taking down a hellgate in Jordan.  He was on vacation."

"Oh.  Okay."  John smirked.  Xander gave him a look.  So yeah, he understood why he had a son.  Xander had prompted it.  "The other one?"

"His wife is currently working on a non-daughter.  He has two that have the mole problem.  He said he's already made sure they have excellent trainers."

"Even better."  John smiled.  "Are you going to have dinner with them?"

"If they ask."  He smiled at the diplomat.  "Are you doing being huffy?"

"Small things that we can show off in the White House are one thing but they traveled with something quite large, sir.  We have to worry about such things.  It's a bad thing and it looks like you're giving preferential treatment."

"Since when have I made the laws?" Xander asked.

"You do have influence, sir.  In the Senate and in other areas."

Xander stared at him.  "You know most of them hate me for not being like them, right?  Some of them are downright scared as hell of me sometimes."

"Oh, I see.  Well....  It's still against policy, sir.  Small diplomatic gifts are one thing.  Big gifts are not."

Xander shrugged.  "Whatever.  If they give me something I'll warn you.  We'll call it in thanks of taking out a demon in their country a few years back."  The man nodded at that.  He looked at John again.  "Anything else I have to be nagged about today?"

"The press is having a field day with you at the ball, Xander.  Though you did look very nice," John said.

Xander grinned.  "Thank Ezra for that.  He took me shopping.  Other than that, I've never hid it."

"I know."  He smiled.  "When's the next bad apocalypse since they seem to come every few years?"

"Every three years we get a bad one and it's due next year in the spring."

"Right before midterm primaries yet again," John sighed, shaking his head.  "That means it'll be the year after the presidential election."

Xander smirked and nodded.  "Yup.  Definitely.  Thank the Goddess for that too."  He looked at Chris with a grin.  "Things are going to get insane with the midterm primaries and people proclaiming they're disgusted with us."

"I've seen it in effect."

"The Senate will have wannabe speech makers," John warned.   "He's managed to hide a headset a few times."

"Sure," Chris agreed.  "We'll be watching for weapons instead."  John smiled at him.  "Your mare is doing fine."

"I was out late last night with Buck to fuss over her.  She's been a good horse."  He smiled at Xander.  "We'll get to take a team ride together so we're all safe pretty soon."

Xander beamed.  "I'd like that."  He looked at Chris.  "The national park has a rental horse thing.  I looked it up."

"That'll work," he agreed.  Xander grinned.  "Let's get you home so you can rest and have dinner."  Xander smirked at that suggestion.  They walked out together.

John got Chuck in there.  "Remind the guards that the primaries are coming up for the midterm election so we'll have the talking heads going off again.  Also tell them that the next apocalypse battle is next year."  He nodded and went to pass that around.  "That's a relief.  They'll let us go because they won't have a recent battle in their memories."

"If you're sure, sir," the ambassador said, leaving him alone to fantasize about a normal life again.

Pets, Presents, Same Thing.

Chris came out the next morning and found a pretty, tall, regal looking horse in the paddock.  He stared at it.  "Did you jump in to be adopted?" he asked sarcastically.  The horse shook her head, staring at him.  "Where did you come from?"  He noticed a tag on her halter and walked over to look at it.  "Xander's Companion."   He stared at it.  "Why did they send me a white horse for him?"  He called Xander.  "Your family just grew."  He hung up.  Xander showed up a few minutes later, looking amused.  "How in the hell?" he demanded.  The horse nibbled on his hair to calm him down again.

"Dawn reset my emergency blip out beacon from Giles' office to your place."  He grinned.  "That way I can find a safe place if I need to."  He looked at her.  "You're a lot like the horses in that series, huh?"  Chris gave him a dirty look.  He shrugged.  "JD's probably heard of it."

"Probably," he agreed dryly.  Xander came over to look her over.  "She's a fine looking mare."

"She's very pretty."  He petted her neck gently, getting a friendly nuzzle for it.  "Did Ral send you with anything else, sweetheart?  Or should Chris take me to find you a saddle and stuff?"

Chris went to look.   He came out of the barn looking amused.  "She has a very nice saddle, but it's English instead of western like we ride."  Xander grinned.  "Plus a nice headpiece.  They even made her stall up.  I don't know why she's out here though."

Xander smiled.  "She glows in the sun?"

"She definitely does."  He helped him put her into her stall.  She was friendly and neighed at the other horses, getting a few back.  "At least she'll get along with the herd," Chris decided.  He caught Xander looking at the saddle.  "It's a bit more fussy and less relaxed."

"Can we change it?"

"You can buy her a new one if you get to keep her," Chris promised.  Xander grinned and they left together.  Chris dropped Xander off on his way to the White House.  John was already in his office with a tankard of coffee and McKay nagging him.  "Sir."

"Chris."  He looked over.  "You've got an odd look on your face.  Who dated what this time?"

"I walked out this morning to a very pretty white horse named Xander's Companion."

John squinted.  "Fantasy novel.  Mystical horses that help their heralds protect the realm."  He shook his head quickly.

"You lowered yourself to the chemist's fantasy novel collection between attacks?" McKay asked.

"It was that or philosophical crap," he admitted.  He looked at Chris again.  "I'll talk to the diplomats.  Was it visibly a gift?"

"I don't know.  She was sunning herself when I came out to feed them.  That's also when I found out we have an agent on the shit list to clean stalls and help me feed 'em."

"Better there than Alaska," Rodney quipped.  "The hard work might help them a bit too."

"Maybe," Chris agreed.  "But one of the horses bites."  He heard Vin laugh.  "We have a barn helper."

"That way if we're out on duty, they don't get ignored," he called back.  He walked in.  "JD found the new one."

"Someone left it for Xander," he quipped back.

"Hmm.  He saw the nametag and went off in geek glee."  He nodded at John.  "Are we running today?"

"Yup, it is that day and Rodney's coming with us."

Rodney gave him a dirty look.  "Why do I need to jog now?"

"To escape the physicist-hungry wenches who only want your sperm, like you were complaining about earlier," John shot back with an evil smirk.

"I don't have my jogging clothes here," he said smugly.

"I'm sure Willow can send them."  He called her.  "Willow, John.  We're running today and he forgot.  Thanks, please."  He hung up.  A bag appeared a few minutes later.  "See, jogging clothes," he said smugly.  "If she forgot your shorts, you can bum some since we wear the same size."  He looked at Vin, who was snickering.  "Who's running with us?  Five miles since Rodney out of shape."

"I'm not that far out of shape," Rodney complained.

"Fine, we can do ten," John agreed.

"I'm going," Vin said.  "Nathan jogs too.  We can take him."  He went to get ready and warn Nathan.  He was nagging Xander about not eating breakfast.  "Xander, John and Rodney are going jogging.  Nathan, us too."

"I'm not used to running unless something's chasing me or it's an emergency," he admitted.

"We need to fix that.  It'll increase your stamina for emergencies," Nathan ordered.  "We have a gym, you can do that today."  Xander nodded with a sigh.  He smiled.  "And eat breakfast."

"I'm fine.  I had a midnight snack at four when I got woken up by a leg cramp."  He pulled over a folder.  "Anyone have any idea why I'm looking at garden plans?"

"No first lady," Vin said with a smirk.

"Yay," Xander said flatly.  "Go get ready for your runs, guys.  I'll be in here committing suicide by paperwork."  Nathan snorted but left him alone.

Chris came in once they were gone.  "C'mon, let's hit the gym.  It'll be stress relieving."  Xander gave him a pathetic look.  "Tough."  He hauled the boy up and walked him out.  "You need to be in shape for when the next problem happens."

Xander nodded.  "I do sword katas and battle axe katas each night," he said quietly.

Chris nodded.  "There's more than that.  Your endurance has fallen since you've been back."

"True."

"Jogging can increase that."

"I'm not sure if I'm allowed to jog after that last injury.  Even after they healed it the doctor didn't want me to stress my body."

Chris looked at him.  "That sounds counter-indicated."  He stared at him.  "Is it going to matter for the next battle?"

"No.  I'll be there."

"Then you need to be ready."

"I'm doing what I can."

"I know.  We can help you work up to that."  He clapped him on the back.  He understood the kid's needs and desires but they needed a second opinion on his health.  "Which doc said not to work yourself too hard?"

"One of the ones at Bethesda."

"What about the docs who handle the slayers?"

"We don't have our own right now."  He got them into the gym.  "I've thought about asking the doc that did the healing thingy on me but I'm not sure if I'm allowed."

"Who was she?"

"One of Jack's docs at the mountain."

"Hmm.  We can ask John."  He pointed.  "Warm up.  We'll do a bit on the treadmill and then do some weight tests."  Xander nodded, moving to the wall to stretch.  He finally came over to the treadmill to start on a few easy miles.  Chris upped the speed on him and set up the other things they'd need.

"Big Dog," Buck said, leaning in.  "Someone tried to snatch McKay, Vin stopped it.  John shot the guy too."

"They good?" he asked.

"They're fine.  They're on their way back.  The idiot who wanted him was begging to face your charge there instead."

Xander looked at him.  "What did he look like?"

"I don't know for sure."

"Tell me where they have him in custody and he can face me instead.  Then they can put him in prison."  He finished his first mile and got off the treadmill.  "Let me go handle that," he said quietly.  "With my luck it's an ex," he muttered as he walked out.  He ran into John and Rodney.  "Who was it?"

"Someone who wanted Rodney for disproving his theories by Ancient science."

"Then why did he want me?" Xander asked.

"You'd only have him eaten," Rodney said.  "He apparently thought it was better."

Xander shook his head.  "No, but I can have something go in there to eat him if he wants."

"No, don't," John ordered.  "Let me do one thing and then I'll meet you *both* in the gym."  They nodded and Xander walked Rodney off.

Chris looked at him.  "The doc at Bethesda said he's not to get too overworked?"

John grimaced.  "We're not sure why."

"Can he have that same doc that healed him check him?"

"Yeah, I can do that.  She's busy today but I can ask her for that favor tomorrow."

"Thanks."  He went back to the gym to work with them.  "McKay, I set that machine for him and his sword-using muscles."

"I changed the weight," he complained.  "I don't know how he can lift that much multiple times."

"I used to work construction too."  He went back to the treadmill when Chris pointed.  He wasn't going to fuss.  He did need the work.  He needed the guidance to get him back to where he was.  Before something worse happened.

John walked in and watched Xander for a second.  Yeah, Carolyn would get that situation straightened out.  Even if she did beat him senseless for listening to bad advice.  He went to help Rodney because he was falling down and apparently people wanted him worse than usual.

***

Carolyn Lam appeared in the White House.  "You called, Colonel?"

"I did, Doctor Lam.  Xander?" he called.  Chuck leaned in.  "Is he hiding?"

"He's in the kitchen being nagged by Nathan for having english muffins for breakfast."  He smiled.  "I can lead you down there, Doctor Lam."

"That'd be nice, Chuck.  Thank you."  She nodded at John and walked with the former Atlantis wonder assistant.  She listened to the nagging for a moment.  "No, I want him to eat more carbs.  He tends to bounce them off," she said bluntly.  Xander smiled at her.  "Though, balancing it out is good."

"I had cheese english muffins.  I was running late."

"You have a cook," she pointed out.

"She doesn't do breakfast."  He shrugged and ate a bite.  "Let me finish the salad of doom."

She looked and added something from a cabinet, earning a smile and a hug.  Xander ate the rest quickly and let her lead him back to his office.  "I've heard that you've gotten bad advice?"

"The doctor at Bethesda took over my care from the guy at John Hopkins because of the position.  Even though I didn't ask.  I went back to him for a check up and he agreed I could start moving back to my former fitness levels.  The one at Bethesda said I'm not supposed to tax my body as he put it."

She shook her head.  "Let me check and we'll see."  She pulled out the scanner, running it over his body.  She did a second scan of his liver and looked over the results.  "Can you get the Colonel for me?"

JD leaned in.  "What's that?"

"It's a scanner from Atlantis," she said with a smile.  "Usually it's very good but for some reason it went dark."  John walked in and it hummed in his hand.  She did the scans again and nodded when it went dark again.  "Xander, do you have anything blocking energy?"

"Oh!"  He took off his necklaces and looked at his side, blocking something by the simple expedient of cutting over the drawn on line.  "I redid it this morning.  Sorry."  He grinned at her.  "I didn't realize."

"What's that for?" she asked.

"To keep Willow from blasting me with magic again.  Like the last time she did it."

She winced.  "She's not doing that anymore."

Xander looked at her.  "I'd hope not.  But still, it's a good protection to have."

"It can be."  She scanned him again.  John did it as well.  She smiled.  "Excellent picture this time."  She looked it over, then at him.  "Did you have liver damage from before that hit?"

"Possibly.  Why?"

"From...." she asked.  He gave her a look.  "Oh.  Magic?"

"Yeah.  A few really powerful hits of black magic when I was stopping someone suicidal.  Why?"

"The healing wand moved you back to where you were, but it's still showing some damage.  Not much but some."  She scanned the rest of him again.  "It looks like you're tired."

"I had some nightmares."

"They happen to all warriors," she said quietly, staring at him.  He nodded back.  "As long as you're handling them."

"I'm getting about as much sleep as I always have," he admitted quietly.  She grimaced at him.  "I've been hunting since I was sixteen, doc."

"Fine.  We can talk about that in a minute in private."  John got the others out of there.  She stared at him.  "Honestly, just from the hunting?"

"Nope.  Alchie parents."

"I saw that documentary."  He grimaced.  He hated that E news had done one on his life before he started to hunt.  They stated they had tried to talk to the slayers about his later life but got hostile responses.  It was nice how people who had ignored everything suddenly had perfect recall about his life.  "I know."  She looked him over again then nodded.  "When's the next apocalypse?"

"Next spring.  It's in Illinois I think.  Random attacks can happen at any time though."

"Okay."  She sat down, looking at him.  "Right now you're not in bad shape.  I'm a bit worried about the prior liver damage."

"That happened when I was twenty."

She nodded once.  "Good to know.  For right now, I want you to build up slowly and I'm going to rip that doctor at Bethesda a new one."  He grinned.  "I'm going to allow you to get back up to your former fitness level, just in case you're attacked so our Colonel doesn't get hurt too."

"Of course.  He's more important than I am."

"Good boy."  She stood up.  "Not that you're not important, Xander.  You have to protect yourself too."

"I do by protecting everyone else."

She made the boy look at him.  "No, I mean actually protecting yourself.  Not dealing with it like you did in Denver.  The tape got found by the local news.   This is low self esteem crap and it needs to end," she said quietly.  "You're worth more than your muscles and your skills.  John wouldn't like you if it was only that stuff."

Xander nodded.  "I'm working on it."

"Good."  She smiled.  "You could talk to your friends."

"We're....  I kinda went off on them.  Buffy agreed I was right but we're not close really anymore."

"Hmm.  That sucks, kiddo."  He shrugged.  "Fine."  She squeezed his wrist.  "Work up slowly.  If you start feeling any pain or show any liver related problems, you are to see me or your guy at John Hopkins.  I liked him."  Xander nodded at that.  "Good boy."  She patted him on the cheek.  "Eat a balanced diet, don't worry about your carbs with the way you work out.  Try to eat vegetables because you probably don't.  With parents like yours, you probably lived on substandard food."

"School lunch.  It was nice though, we got the woman who wanted to poison us all."

She stared at him.  "Don't tell me that.  McKay's been playing with temporal energy and I'll go back to beat the crap out of someone."  He blushed, looking down.  She smiled.  "You're sweet but I'm not naughty enough for you."  She winked and he grinned back.  "Four months and see your liver guy.  Don't go back to Bethesda unless you've got a gunshot wound and then someone had better call us.  I'll make sure John knows that."

"Can you maybe make the nagging less?" he hissed.  "It's kinda ...odd and bad."

"I am."  She pinched him.  "Good boy."  She left, going to John's office.  He was on the phone.  She sat down to make notes and wait.  Finally John got to hang up.  She looked at him.  "He's not to go to Bethesda again unless he's been shot."

"I can agree with that.  Me too?"

"Yup."  She smirked.  "He's to see his liver guy in about four months.  He can work his way up slowly and carefully."  Chris Larabee walked in with Nathan being pulled.  "Good.  Yes, he's able to work himself back up to where he can handle emergencies.  He had prior liver damage from someone hitting him with a lot of black magic he said.  Watch out for any signs of problems there.  Like the good Colonel, boys like Xander don't let you know."

"I know that problem well," Chris said.

"That's because you're like that too," she assured him.  She stood up.  "As for his diet, it's fine.  Try to sneak vegetables on him.  He's never been really balanced there and he works off more carbs than he eats right now."  She stared at Nathan.  "Quit nagging the kid.  It'll make him go against you and fight back."  She looked at Chris again.  "How well do you read people?"

"That expose on his family was part of the briefing," he admitted.

"Good."  She smirked.  "He'll be fine.  Become a good big brother to him, Agent Larabee.  He could use some.  Let me go talk to Willow about magic-caused liver damage.  As far as I know there's nothing we can do about it but he's fairly healed as much as possible.  Do it slowly and make sure he doesn't have any problems."

"I can do that."

"Good."  She looked at John.

"I've seen," he agreed with a slight grin.

"Good."  She smiled.  "I would've loved to seen him in the mountain when we had problems."

"Xander would've done something heroically stupid and gotten dead," John said.

"Yeah, but we could've talked him into making sure that he came home afterward.  Us too."  She called for a beam out.  She had to talk to Willow and Sam Carter.  She found them in the same lab.  "Can you figure out if someone gets hit with a lot of black magic, enough to cause some body damage, can we weed it out now?"

"I can work on it," Sam promised.  "Who?"

She smiled.  "A patient I have."  She glanced at Willow then back at Sam since Willow was making whimpering noises.  "Specifically it was liver damage.  It's about ten percent off standard rates, so about thirty off his.  He's fine but I need to know if we can help that any since the healing wand healed it to that level."

"How many years ago?" Sam asked, giving Willow an odd look.

"About fifteen or so."

"Okay," Sam agreed.  Doctor Lam walked off.  "What's wrong with you?" she hissed.

"When I was on that cliff, after Tara died," she said, giving her a hopeless look.  "Xander tried to stop me."

"It's not always you."

"She went to DC."

"Oh.  So what happened?"

"I was deep in the grief and so lost," she sighed, sitting down again.  "I sucked up black magic, I was going to make everyone feel like I did.  So empty, so much pain."  She looked at Sam.  "I nearly killed him.  I hit him with the black magic to make him quit trying to stop me.  I hit him like seven times.  I didn't realize we did any damage.  I mean, the next day he was like usual."

Sam stared at her.  "I understand what happens when you get in that much pain."  Willow slumped.  "We'll work on it together.  He doesn't blame you."

"He's vowed to someone that I wouldn't get back to that state again."

"You do and I'll help him take you down," Sam assured her.  Willow hugged her.  Sam smiled and patted her.  "I know.  It's hard.  Grief is unreasonable with how it can change you."  She handed her some chalk.  "We'll make it up to him."

Willow nodded, taking the chalk to the chalkboard to figure out how she could fix that old mistake.  None of them wanted Xander to be injured.  When Rodney came back Willow looked at him.

He stared back.  "That was when he stopped you?"  She nodded.  "At least he did stop you."

"We never realized he was hurt."

"Like the Colonel, he wouldn't have shown you that.  He doesn't do it for anyone."  He came in to help her.  Sam left them alone.  "He's not truly injured," he said after some more work.  "They were worried about him regaining his old fitness level."

"We can fight without him there," she pointed out.

"He won't let you and you know it."  She nodded she knew that.  Xander would jump in.  "Beyond that you'd need him and his skills.  The girls will listen to him and to Buffy about battles."

"We need a new battle master anyway.  Xander's getting too old to go into fights."

"Men like him will not give up until they can't fight anymore."

"Then we'd lose him and it's not good for him."

He stared at her.  "There's a reason they call him a white knight, Willow.  The same as he learned how protecting you and his other friend."

"So he became the knight to protect me," she said, sounding flat and upset.

He stared at her.  "Most likely you gave him an outlet for the needs he wasn't getting at home.  Part of all knights' syndrome is the need for attention and acknowledgment that he can do good things.  Him protecting you gave him a way to express the needs that weren't being met."

"So it wasn't bad for him?"

"No.  Without it, he might have ended up in prison at a very young age."

"I guess.  He seems more angry now."

"That could be the fact that he's been in combat since he was sixteen."

She nodded.  "He could retire."  He shot her a dirty look.  "I know but he might."

"No, he won't.  Men like him only die in bed if it was extremely good sex."

She blushed and squeaked.  "If Anya couldn't I doubt the others could."

"You never know.  Maybe it'll be better than she was."

"She was really demanding and stuff," she hissed, glancing at the door then back at him.  She swatted him since he was smirking.  "Some of us were really embarrassed with the way she talked about it all the time."

He patted her on the shoulder.  "It's all right that you're a prude."

She swatted him.  "I am not!"

"Yes, dear, you are.  But that's fine.  Many people are."  He turned back to the math.  He pointed.  "Did you mean to forget the negative and switch your numbers?"  He huffed and erased it, going back over it.  He knew something was wrong.  She was clearly distracted by the embarrassed thoughts about sex.  It was...admittedly cute on her.  "Did Tara like you being so blushing?"

"Tara was a really gentle woman," she said.  "Kennedy was more wild but a slayer.  She died in the invasion in LA.  It wasn't the same.  I didn't feel the same way when I lost her."

"Losing someone special should affect you more than a simple friend you tumble into the bed now and then."

She shook her head.  "I've never played that way."

He stared at her.  "Perhaps you should try to date again soon?"

"I've got to concentrate on me, Rodney.  It's not fair to anyone else when I'm this messed up."

He snorted.  "Everyone is messed up in some unusual way.  The key is to find someone who's messed up in a way that understands your messed up nature."

"I'm going to go back to the caf," Sam said, walking off again.  She had almost walked in but she did agree with Rodney.  It was well past time for Willow to move on and find someone new to cuddle with.

Rodney and she shared a look.  "Speaking of prudes who seem to have a lot of ex's die."  She snorted, swatting him again.  He gave her an evil smirk.  "Was that the lesbian version of a spank?"

"No, if I wanted to spank you I could."

"I'm not one of those boys that has no training.  The good colonel made sure of that."

"Does that mean the rumors being spread by psych are true?  Because I *totally* understand that need when you're really far away and always in danger.  That's kinda why I got Kennedy and why Buffy had Spike."

He swatted her again, scowling.  "No, I would never bend myself that way.  I do prefer women.  Just ask Carter how I drooled on her blonde roots."

"Tara was a blonde but she was nicer."

"I'm sure she was.  She sounds like one of those fairly sweet and cavity inducing sort."

"Not always.  She had her naughty moments."  She pointed.  "You dropped the negative yourself."

He huffed and went back to it.  "Why am I doing this for you?" he demanded a minute later.

She smirked.  "You took the chalk from me."

"Point.  That way it won't hurt him."  He finished it up, staring at it.  "Well?"

"Nope," she said, sitting down.  She looked at him.  "That says if I try to weed any of the power out of him, it'll probably kill him."

"Then you won't," Rodney said.

She nodded.  "I guess I won't."  She considered it.  "What if we did it another way?"  She started a new formula.

Rodney watched.  "No, it won't work.  You'll end up with a negative."  She slumped, handing back the chalk.  He erased it.  "Come on, you have to eat."

"I know but I don't want to eat.  Half the people on base give me dirty looks."

"You should've seen it after I accidentally destroyed most of a solar system," he said quietly.

She stared at him.  "I could almost wish you were a girl."

He snorted.  "I'd rather not, thank you.  It would dearly screw me up for life."  He walked her out.  They passed by Sam and Radek's lab, and he had to back up to glare at his friend, who was smirking.  "We are not dating!"

"It's been over two decades since I had a boyfriend, Radek."

Rodney looked at her.  "Seriously?"  She nodded.  "Then perhaps you should try again.  It might make your dating search easier."

She nodded.  "Maybe but I'm not looking forward to trying that again."

He glared at her.  "If you would, you'd find that all those things you worry about would fall into place because they're the thing you need."

She stared at him.  "Huh?"

He walked off shaking his head.  "Never mind.  You'll understand when it happens."

"What?"  She chased after him.

Sam looked at Radek.  "I agree.  I so agree."  He grinned.  "Now we have to make them see it."

"Atlantis may help.  She does like them both."  He got an evil smirk from her and grinned back.  He would go to Atlantis later and talk to her.  She would help Rodney be happier.  Even if they did have to lock them in a room with everything they might need for a night of living porno.

***

Xander plopped down across from Ezra at the table, getting grunted at.  "Someone's yelling at me about the car issue."

"Who?" Ezra asked, pretending to be awake.

"Your boss."

Ezra grimaced.  "Chris?"

"The other boss."

"Oh, him.  Why is he complaining?"

"That I'm making your personal vehicles basically public property."  Ezra snorted.  "I was ordered to buy one, either for the VP's house and office, or for myself."

"What was the last one you owned?"

"Some bland sedan because Anya liked it."

"That's horribly mundane," Ezra said, sipping some more coffee.  "What about the government buying program?"

"Really cheap, crappy sedans according to John since he knows cars."

"Good point."

"Or a minivan or an agent style SUV."

"That doesn't really fit with your style."

"No."  He pulled out a paper and slid it over.  "Help me look?  I narrowed down the list of ones I want to test drive."

Ezra looked it over.  "Two higher end; two light SUV styles, two sedans, both fairly mundane.  But at least one's a bit more expensive looking."

Xander shrugged.  "You know I don't care as long as it runs."

"I know."  He put them down.  "We can arrange that with Marian later."  He finished his coffee. "Nathan is upstairs."

"Dr. Lam told him to quit nagging me or else she was going to spank him," Xander said with a grin.  Ezra choked and shook his head.  He got up to make them both breakfast, getting a nod of thanks from his guard for the new cup of coffee too.  He finished up and brought over plates, sitting down to drink his morning cup of cold god and eat.

Nathan walked in and scowled.  "That's not good for you."

"I'm telling Dr. Lam you're still nagging," Xander countered, staring at him.  "Then I'm going to make Ezra take you shopping for me instead."  He stuffed his mouth with the pretty decent omelette with pepperoni and green peppers.  Ezra had mushrooms and sausage.

"Fine.  It's still fattening."

"As opposed to my twinkie habit?" he quipped.  "Because I can easily have twinkies and ho hos for breakfast."

"You wouldn't," Nathan complained.  Xander got up to open that cabinet, pointing at the boxes.  Nathan stomped out.  Xander sat back down and stuffed his face again.

Ezra chewed.  "We might both be paying for that little acting out for a while."

"I can't eat tofu, I puke," Xander said, giving him a grin.  He dug in when Chris walked in.  "Did your boss complain at you too?  And can I come see the horse I'm not allowed to officially have soon?"

"You can come out with me tonight," Chris sighed.  "And yeah, he got me up to complain that the news crews think you're making us use our cars to cart you around."  Ezra handed over the list.  Chris looked it over.  "None are really safe."

"We can up the security," Xander pointed out between bites.  "Should I make you a half omelette too?"

"No, I  already ate."  He sipped his coffee, looking Ezra over.  "You two can go buy something.  Is it going to be yours or the official car?"

"Mine.  I'm not using my VP budget to buy it."

"Good," Chris decided.  "Did they finish fixing all your accounts?"

"Yup.  Though John's assistant said something about stuff I have in storage."

Ezra blinked at him.  "What do you have stored?" he asked calmly.

Xander shrugged.  "I don't know.  I haven't been in there in a while.  I forgot everything I put in there."  He frowned then shrugged.  "I'll look at it sometime soon."

"We can look at it this weekend," Chris said.

Xander considered it.  "Probably no artillery."

"Good!" Ezra said, shaking his head as he got up to get more coffee.  He took another sip, looking at Chris.  "He threatened me to take Nathan shopping for nagging again."

"We all put up with Nathan nagging," Chris said dryly.

"No I don't.  Not even the women in my life get to nag.  Bitch and whine, but not nag."  Nathan stomped in and he glared.  "I have PMS."  Nathan huffed and left again.  He got up and hit a button on the wall, which locked all the important cabinets.  He checked, the twinkies were in one.  The coffee was too.  Xander grinned at Chris.  "What am I doing today?"

"Car shopping apparently," Chris said dryly.  "Senate is off today.  Shopping so you have a tux for next week's military ball."  Xander nodded at that.  "Or do we have one?"

"He needs a new shirt," Ezra said.  Nathan dragged JD in.  "What now?" he asked.

"Here, feed the boy.  He didn't eat yet," he grumped.

Xander pointed at the fridge.  "Leftover pot roast, JD?"  He grinned and got some of it so he could eat.  Xander smirked at him.  "See, protein."  Nathan glared.  Xander smiled and blew a kiss.  "You're turning into a girl.  Pretty soon we'll see you dying you hair blonde like Buffy." Nathan glared.  Xander smiled sweetly.  "Nagging is for girls.  Should we buy you a pretty dress?"

"No," he growled.

"Then quit nagging like a slayer."

"Fine."

Xander smiled.  "Isn't that nicer?"  He walked off.  "Let me change."  He came back down in a better shirt and still in jeans.  Ezra stared at him.  "We're doing civilian things."

"There will undoubtedly be press people."

"You want me to put on the booty showing pants that will make them drool and forget to shout stupid questions?  That works for John."

Chris walked around them snickering.  "Go ahead, kid.  They might like that."  He took JD and his breakfast to the White House.  It was going to be insane on Xander's team today.  Let Buck help.  He knew cars.  They walked in to meet with John.  "Xander is off shopping for a car."

"I got word of the complaint.  I reminded him it was safer but I'd tell him."

"He got Nathan to quit nagging."

"Damn, I want to know how he did that.  He tried to nag me about my dessert last night."

"Threatened to have him turned into a girl basically."

John snickered.  "Willow probably could."  He shook his head.  "So he's off with Ezra?"

"And Buck."

"That's fine."

"He's going with your plan to make people drool?"

"Oh, the tight pants plan.  Yeah, it works well on paparazzi."  Chris shook his head at that.  "Anything else going on?"

"He eats twinkies?"

"He explained what was going on in the Senate to me with twinkie theater," John told him.  "It took him three boxes of twinkies to explain the current crappile going on.  Then he ate them with fake screams like he was Godzilla.  I made him work off the sugar in the pool."

"Probably a good idea," he decided.  "He's coming out tonight to look at his companion."

"I can be there until seven.  Rodney and I are having dinner."

"That's fine.  This weekend?"

"That'll work.   Thanks, Chris."  He smiled.  "Go relax.  I'm not leaving the building today.  Listen for Xander to be ambushed."

"Hopefully Buck can handle it with Ezra."  He went to check in with the communications officer and update their positions so everyone can scream at them.  They tended to yell whenever something happened that they didn't anticipate.

***

Xander looked over at the yelling press person.  "What?" he called.

"Is that your boyfriend?" she called.

"He's my guard.  He helps me shop because he has better taste than I do."

"He's cute, sir."

Xander smiled and waved.  "Minds out of the gutter.  He can't be my guard if we're having wild monkey sex, guys."  They laughed.  "Now go away.  I have to pick a car."  They took more pictures and Buck got them to go away.  "Sorry, Ezra."

"We do tend to travel together," he said dryly.

"They didn't do it to the other guards."

"Yes, but I'm better dressed than they were," Ezra said.  He looked at the car.  "Try it out for size.  The back," he reminded him.

"It's my private car, I'll get to drive it sometime, Ezra."

"In the back," Buck agreed.  "If it's a nice drive, you'll be satisfied."  He got in to start the engine.  "Bit tired sounding."

Ezra nodded, looking over the options.  "We'd have to add a remote start feature, bulletproofing, and it's got gas mileage like an SUV."

"All of them had pretty iffy gas mileage that I liked the looks of," Xander admitted as he got out.  "The leg room's a bit cramped.  I didn't even think about that issue."

"Not much of what I would expect in a Mercedes sedan, even on the low end of the spectrum," Ezra said.  "So no on the C-class sports sedan.  Let's look at the GLK."  He walked the boy that way.  That one was a bit better.

"It looks like a new age station wagon on steroids," Buck said.  The salesman coughed and shook his head.  "It does."

"It does kinda look like the kid between an SUV and a station wagon," Xander agreed.  "But I figured it'd be practical.  People would like it if I bought something this higher end.  Goddess knows they don't like anything else."

"The other two are American made," Ezra said.  "A Cadillac and a Chrysler."  Xander nodded and they thanked the salesman before leaving.  "Cadillac first?  It's the other SUV."

"Whichever you feel like since you won't let me drive," Xander quipped with a smile.  "Thanks, guys."

"Welcome," Buck agreed.  "No one gets to drive his car but him.  Unless it's an emergency."

"I'll remember that," Xander said.  "Just in case."

Ezra glanced back at him.  "Let's not have anything happen anytime soon.  I'm rather fond of this car."

"Of course not.  It'd probably happen outside the car."  Ezra smirked and went on since the light was green.  They found a Cadillac dealership and the SUV was nice enough.  Xander pointed at one and they paused the car to look.  "It's another baby SUV," Xander said.  "I thought it'd be larger."

"No, that's an Escalade," Ezra said.  "I think that's a second choice.  Let's see the other.  Chrysler."   He drove them to the dealership up the street that had a Chrysler sign.  "They should have the other.  Or a reasonable facsimile."  He pulled in and they went to find a salesman.  He didn't have the exact car there but they had another edition of it.  Which Xander seemed to like.  "Which is this?"

"This is the 300c with the Touring Plus trim," the salesman said.  "It's got a good bit of legroom in the back, it has nice features that can be upgraded easily for his security concerns."

Xander nodded, sliding into the back seat.  "Hey, there's at least ten more inches back here."

"It has good features.  Not the remote start but an anti-trunk trap device.  Keyless remote with a panic button.  We can put OnStar into it I suppose."  He read over the available features and colors.  "Black?"

"I saw a dark titanium metallic," Xander said.

"That's a discontinued color," the salesman said.  "We'd have to special order it."

"We'll have to special order it or take it to a pimping shop to have the bulletproof panels put on," Xander pointed out.

"That's a good point."  He went to get his papers on that.  He came back.  "These are all the options we offer."  He let Ezra look it over and pick which ones the important person wanted.

Xander looked over his shoulder.  "I get dvd?"

"In case you need briefed."

"Can we go the internet for email checking and video conferencing?"

"Perhaps," he agreed.  "I see it is on the list with remote ignition."  He checked those and looked at the rest.  "That will make it doable until we can get the special shielding put on it.  I'll have the address for you in an hour."  That got a nod and Xander went to fill out paperwork and pay for it while Ezra called the White House communication person.  "It's Standish.  We need an address to send the Vice President's new car for shielding."  He wrote it down.  "Thank you."  He hung up.  "This is the shop they've been using.  Or you can deliver it to us at the house and we'll take it."

"It'd be easier to bring it to you, sir."  He made that note and it was set.  "It'll take about a week."  Xander nodded.  "We'll deliver it, after calling first, and everything should be set.  If we have any problems, we'll let you know, sir."

Xander shook his hand with a smile.  "Thank you."  He stood up and walked the guys back to Ezra's car.  "It's nice."

"It's real nice and an American car," Buck agreed.  "Which means no nagging from some of those fussy sorts."

Xander snorted.  "I can't do anything right according to them."  He looked at his guards.  "A few have suggested that even if I screwed an angel in the middle of the Senate to bless the building with his sperm, it still wouldn't get me in good graces."

"That is a very vivid image," Ezra said.  He spotted the cameras.  "Let's go.  They're here too."

"They're everywhere, like roaches," Xander quipped as he got in.

Ezra got in and nodded.  "They are like roaches but you can't stomp on them."

"I like to make them pout.  It's fun to watch them pout.  That whole thing, with full options, was under thirty-five, so forty with the shielding probably. "

"Probably," Buck agreed.  "It was pretty heavy already and you don't need more than the regular bulletproof panels."  He got comfortable.  "We heading back to the house or to the White House?"

"We are heading to make sure Xander has a nice shirt for the military ball in a few days."

"Oops," Xander sighed.  "We should stop at the dry cleaner's then."  Ezra shook his head.  "Yeah, my tux is there."

"JD picked it up the other night," he said patiently.

"He did mine too," Buck said with a grin.

"Okay.  I didn't see it in the closet."

"I'll make sure later," Ezra assured him.  He took him to a nice shop that was tastefully expensive.  It looked much more expensive than it was.  The boy balked but Ezra walked him inside.  "We need to dress up his tux with a nice shirt for the military ball, gentlemen."

They looked at Xander and his current outfit.  "He has a nice build.  What color is his tux?"

"Basic black, done by Emporio."

"Ah," the clerk said, coming over to help them look.   "You have such a nice build, Mr. Harris."

Xander smiled.  "I try sometimes."  They grinned.  "I'm also a twinkie addict."  That got a laugh and they showed him a few very nice things.  "I've already spent three months salary, guys.  Let's go easy on the pocketbook today?"

"You have plenty," Ezra reminded him.

"From what I read, the VP doesn't get lifetime retirement bennies outside of opting in to a health care plan," Xander said.  "I need some in case a miracle happens and I survive that long."

"What's the current salary?" Buck asked.

"$227,300 a year," Ezra said.  "Which is approximately $18, 940 dollars a month before taxes."

"Yup," Xander agreed.  "The car earlier was almost three months by the end."

"Two months," Ezra corrected.  "The shielding will be starting into the third month."  He leaned on a clothes rack.  "Also, you do have that measly ten thousand dollar expense account annually."

"That's for travel and things," Xander corrected.

"That as well," Ezra agreed.  "Then again, this is nearly your second year in office."  Xander nodded that was true.  "You have a healthy bank account, you need the new clothes, and they do make you look quite nice."  He stared his guardee down.  "Quit fussing."

"Fine.  Are you going to turn into Nathan and nag?"

"If I must."  He smirked.  "Then I'll go find wherever I put your tux this time."

The clerk smiled.  "It's good that he has someone to manage his life for him."   He fitted him for another suit and nodded.  "That will definitely incite some drool."

"Indeed it does," Ezra agreed, smiling at the blushing boy.  "And a shirt?"  They got him a new tux and a shirt, which made him look hotter than usual.  It did cling to every contour of his butt.  It made his muscles more prominent.  His build was emphasized.  It was all great from where Ezra was standing.  "Lunch?"

"I could eat," Xander agreed with a shy smile.  They grinned back and let him pick the place.  Ezra nearly vetoed it but Xander pouted and he gave in.  It was good, Southern, cooking.  Very nice.  Very comforting.  Very good and the reporters didn't spot them until they were halfway through their cobbler.  Xander moaned as he ate a bite.  "That's good."

"That's excellent," Ezra agreed with a smile.  "We need somewhere like this in Denver."  He finished up and then his tea.  Buck was taking his time.  "I believe the virtual leeches have returned, Bucklin."

Buck looked and nodded.  "Apparently."  Xander paid for lunch and they left, after Buck picked up the cobbler to go for later.  They were really nice there.  They went home so Buck could distract Xander while Ezra dealt with his closet mess.

"Oh, dear Lord, you need a valet," Ezra called.

"Oops.  Let me come clean up my mess from throwing clothes around earlier," Xander called, hurrying up to do that.  It wasn't *that* messy but apparently Ezra was a bit picky.

Ezra pointed at the closet.  "What do you call that?"

Xander looked then at him.  "Hung up?"

"Wrinkled.  Smashed oddly."  Xander gave him a sheepish look.  "I believe we'll talk about the manly skill of laundry today, Xander."  He led him in there to help him figure things out.  He even matched some outfits for him.  Which made the boy happier.  They put up the new clothes together then Ezra taught him how to use the steamer to fix the wrinkled things.  They got put up again and Ezra released the boy to the gym.  Ezra shook his head.  "That boy needs a life manager," he muttered.  "Badly."

"Or a boyfriend," Xander called.  "Or a girlfriend."

"Yes, either of those would suitably run your life as well," he agreed.  He followed the boy down the stairs.  "Who decorated your room?"

"I don't decorate anything," Xander said with a shrug.  "I guess John did the bedroom."

"You could make it more your own style statement," JD said from the table staring at the cobbler.

"I don't decorate, JD.  I'm not Buffy."  They all nodded at that.  He looked around.  "She's not here, right?  She might show up and decorate on me.  I'd end up with pink and ruffles."

"We'd never let her do that to any man," Buck said.  "You guys done playing with his clothes?"

"I have more clothes than I've had my entire life," Xander said.  "Can we go play with the horses?"

"Yup," Buck said, looking at Ezra and JD.  "That goes into the car, JD, without any fingerprints."  The boy carried it out there.  Xander got his stuff too.  Ezra got his keys and Buck made sure the house was closed up.  "How much does John make now?" Buck asked as he got in.

"Four hundred thou plus fifty thou for expenses," Xander said.

"So almost double what you make," Buck said.

"He gets more headaches.  He said so."

"I'm sure he does," JD agreed.  "I think he told someone in the Far East that if they didn't leave him alone about pointless stuff he was going to send you as an ambassador on a trip."

"Rona and I can go," he said happily.  "She's coming next week, guys.  My girls from Africa said they couldn't handle this stuff either."

"You're doing fine," Ezra assured him.  "So far you haven't made any irreparable blunders."  Xander snorted.  "Even with them hating you for fighting demons and being bisexual it's not that unheard of."

"They hated me before I got elected because I'm not one of them."

"No, you're not, and it's a nice change," JD said.  "Some of the political sorts are kinda dumb."

"Some of them are very dumb," Xander assured him.  "Some of them are so dumb, I get a Rodney style headache from the stupid stuff.  One wanted us to fund people to not raise cows."  Ezra snickered.  "I didn't get the point of paying farmers to not raise more food.  I mean, food prices could go down.  It'd be easier on the poorer families and then we can use the surplus for aid since there's been so many natural disasters."

"We could," Ezra agreed.  "What did they think about that?"

"They said I had no concept of what it would do to the price indexes.  I pointed out I knew it would go down so regular people could afford real food again.  They got huffy so I suggested they start eating on the food stamp benefit budget.  They got really horrified."  He shrugged.  "If all you can afford is pasta, beans, and ramen noodles, how do they expect you to be healthy?  Which they complain about because they're all so sick and going on medicare, which costs them more money.  If they were seriously interested in making people healthier, milk would cost less than a dollar and a two liter of soda would be two bucks.  Instead milk's almost five a gallon in some places and generic soda is under a buck."

"That's a good point.  Did you point that out?" Buck asked.

"Yes.  I got called tragically stupid and mundane again.  So I pointed out that the majority of the people that voted them into their present jobs were just like me.  I've already made a few statements about how stupid and shallow half the senate really is."

"I'm sure they didn't like that bluntness," Ezra noted as he turned off the highway.

"No, but yay.  I don't play those little games.  I'm a very blunt person.  Apparently they never learned how to deal with real people."

"Probably not many of them," JD agreed.  Buck nodded.  "Xander, are you going to keep your mare?"

"I probably should.  No one's said anything about her being an inappropriate gift."

Buck coughed, glancing back at him.  "You know that some people are saying that you should be looked at for inappropriate things?" he asked quietly.

"Yup, and I told them bluntly to find a prosecutor and I'll let them look at things.  Then I referred them to the White House Counsel and let him handle it."

"Good," Buck agreed.  "What else could they get you on?"

"They'll make a big spectacle to waste money right before the elections so they can change some of the people around.  John knows and he agreed I haven't done anything wrong as far as he was told."

Ezra smiled at the car they passed.  "That was Mr. Tanner I do believe."  He saw him turn around in the mirror.  "Yes, it was."  He pulled onto the farm's driveway a few minutes later.  Xander got out and went to look at his mare.  JD put the cobbler in the kitchen then came to help.  Vin, Ezra, and Buck talked for a minute then Vin left again and the other two went to help Xander learn how to own and use a horse.

***

"JD, stop," Xander ordered.  JD pulled over and Xander got out, heading over to a field where two clearly abandoned St. Bernards were standing.  "You poor things," he cooed.  "Did someone drop you off?  It's okay, I'm a friendly sort," he promised.  He let one sniff his hand and got to pet her.  "It's nice to meet you, Mamma and Pappa Dog.  Yes, it is."  The other came closer and he saw what they had been guarding.  "Holy shit.  JD, we have an issue," he called.

"Did they bite you?" he called, walking around the car and having to wait for a police car to go past so he could run over too.

Xander pulled out his phone to call 911.  "This is Vice President Harris, have car 1511 turn around.  He just went past my location and I'm hoping he has a medical pack on him.  No, not a medical emergency.  I just found a baby in a field being guarded by two stray dogs.  That was the number on the back of the car, yes.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Here, pet Mamma Dog for me."  He moved to check the baby.  "We're alive, but chilly."  He took off his jacket to cover it.  "Call Marian, have her call the people at the speech and tell them I'm late due to a problem I ran into, it won't take too long hopefully."  A cop car stopped and the officer ran over.  The dogs growled.  "Hey, he's nice," he soothed, petting them.  "I found them guarding the baby.  Do you have gloves and things?"

"I do, sir."  He came back with his emergency kit.  "I can call Pet Control for them, sir."

Xander smiled.  "They'd never get adopted.  But I think they're very good dogs for helping and protecting her.  She's probably been out here all night."  He took the gloves so he could check the baby over better.  "We're messy and wet," he noted.  "We're clearly hungry."

"Sir, I called Social Services emergency number and got the voicemail," the officer said.

"Marian said she did too," JD said, hanging up.  "She'll warn them, Xander."

Xander considered it.  "It's against protocol but it's too chilly to leave her here."  He looked at the officer.  "Station?"

"We're overly full today and I have no idea who would get her."

"Okay, then we'll do it this way.  JD, get the dogs in the car.  We'll stop by a vet on the way back.  They were very good dogs."  He carefully picked up the baby.  "Come with me to my speech so you can help us watch over her until someone answers."

"I can do that," he agreed, calling it in.  His boss agreed to route social services there.  He helped the young agent get the new pets into the car.   He followed them to their speech and watched the baby for him.  "Sir, the dogs?"

"JD, check on the dogs," Xander ordered.  "I'll be fine.  Not like I'm not armed and you'll only be outside the door."  He walked out.  "I'm sorry I'm late.  I just found two new pets on the side of the road heroically guarding a baby."  A few sighed.  "The officer is with her."  He smiled and moved in front of the podium to give his speech, which was well liked.  They could see JD with the two St. Bernards and the baby in the officer's arms outside in the hallway behind the stage.  They saw when Chris Larabee showed up.

Xander looked back there.  "Give me a second please."  He smiled and walked back there.  "Chris, if I hadn't stopped for my new pets, the baby would've died.  I knew I had to stop there.  It was nice to get it without a vision this time."  He petted both dogs.  "Good, puppies."  He smiled at Chris.  "Social worker?"

"Probably another hour," Chris admitted.  "The officer got emergency supplies to clean her up."

Xander nodded.  "That's cool.  Thanks, guys."  He went back there.  "Sorry, my other guard showed up to find out what was going on."  He smiled and got back to his speech.  He apparently went back over something so he moved on quickly enough.  At the end he got a lot of applause.  He smiled at the dog who had come in to watch him, leaning down to pet her.  "We have to find you a name and some food, huh?"  The other barked at someone and he looked out there.  "Issue?"

"No," Chris called.

Xander smiled at the group.  "Thank you for putting up with the oddness today.  Hopefully I won't have to find another baby in a field."  He bowed and left with the dog following him.  He petted the other dog to stop the growling.  "Social worker?" he guessed.

"Yes, sir.  Why did you remove her from the scene?"

"She was dirty, wet, and cold," he said bluntly.  "It's only sixty degrees outside today.  Thankfully the dogs took care of her last night apparently.  Or else I would've found a frozen baby."  She nodded at that.  "I thought it was more humane since the officer said it'd be a while."

"It was.  Should I call the pound for them?"

"You don't put good, heroic, life saving dogs in the pound," he said bluntly.  "Beyond that, they're too large to be an apartment dog and not the sort rich snobs like so they'd never get adopted.  I need a pet."  She nodded at that, backing down on that point.  "Do you need me to write a report?"

"No, sir, I have what I need."  She carefully took the baby.  "I'll make sure she gets into a good home tonight."

"I hope she has a good home for more than that," Chris said.

"I do try, gentlemen."  She walked the baby off.  It was cooing happily at her.

Xander looked at the officer, holding out a hand with a smile.  "Thank you."

"Not a problem, sir.  I'm glad you didn't find a frozen baby too.  They're very good dogs."  He petted them both and reported he was free for a new call as he walked out to his cruiser.

Xander looked at Chris.  "Vet recommendation?"

"Two I know are good," he admitted.  "You're seriously keeping them both?"

"Yeah."  He grinned.  "It looks like she gave birth recently with how her nipples are so extended.  They look a bit thin.  I don't think they have fleas since I haven't been bitten yet.  So, vet, the White House?  Then home with them tonight?"

Chris nodded.  "That's a plan if you're sure you want to keep them."

"I'm sure.  You guys all said I needed a dog."

"We were thinking something bouncy that could play with you," Chris said dryly.

Xander smiled.  "I'm sure they'll like to play a lot."  He walked out.  "Thank you, JD."

"Welcome, Xander.  I'll head back and report on the change of schedule.  Plus how that all worked out."  He sighed, shaking his head.  "He's a nice guy."  He went to call in and head to the White House.   He found John waiting on him.  "Sir."

"JD, what happened?"

"Xander told me to stop the car, sir, and ran across the busy street to the two stray dogs in a field.  It turned out they were protecting a baby."

"I got that part.  No vision?"

"No, sir."

"Okay."  He considered it.  "Where are they now?"

"At the vet's."

"What breed are the dogs?"

"Two thin looking St. Bernards.  Nathan's gonna fuss and feed 'em to death," he finished with a grin.

"Good, it'll mean he quits nagging me."  He nodded.  "Come make an official report."  He walked him back inside.  "I take it Chris is with him?"

"Yup.  He tried to talk to him about of keeping both but Xander said you don't send heroic, life-saving dogs to the pound."

"No, you don't," he agreed.   "Males?"

"One of each.  The female looks like she was nursing."

"Okay," he decided.  "That's so very Xander."  He smiled, going to tell the press secretary so he could highlight the good thing.  It might get people off Xander's back for a while.  Hopefully.

***

Xander and Chris walked into White House an hour later.  He saw the scowls and glared.  "They don't have fleas."

"They're still mutts, sir."

"Be more respectful of my pet, Sergeant."

"Yes, sir."  He let them go inside, still grimacing.  He knew other presidents had pets but they probably didn't get to walk into the oval office or anywhere like that.

Xander walked them to his office.  "Marian, these are my two."

"Aww," she said, petting them both.  "Such good dogs."  They panted at her so she smiled.  "The President wanted to meet them, sir."

"We're heading there after I pick up the mail," he promised.  She handed it over with a smile.  "Thank you.  It's payday and they need food."  He walked off, putting his paycheck into his back pocket.  "Heel," he ordered quietly.  They came back from sniffing someone's plants.  "We can visit outside in a minute."  He walked them into the Oval office, making the Chief of Staff stare in horror.  "What?"

"They're huge and they'll shed everywhere."

Xander shrugged.  "So?"

"Never mind, sir.  Are they going to be coming in with you?"

"They aren't exactly purse dogs," he said dryly.  He rolled his eyes.  "I'm sure I'll be home plenty but I might travel with them."  He smiled at John.  "We need to name them."

"You do," he agreed, coming over to let the dogs sniff him so he could pet them.  "They're very good dogs."  Rodney appeared in a flash of light.  Both dogs growled.  "Hey, he's a nice guy.  Leave him alone."  Rodney stared.  John smiled.  "Xander adopted."

"Clearly."  He came over to let them sniff him.  The female let him pet her but not the male.  "That's fine.  You'll get used to me."  He looked at John.  "The city is pouting again."

"I'll be over for dinner tonight?"

"Sir, you have that function tonight.  Both of you."  The Chief of Staff stared at Xander.  "I've already had Standish put out a good outfit for you, sir."

Xander nodded.  "I'll thank him later."  He petted the dogs again.  "C'mon, kids.  Let's go to the bank and then home."  They barked and followed him back to the car.

"It's cute that he's finally got a pet; good for him," John said with a grin at Rodney.  "After the dinner?"

"That'll be about dinner for us," he said dryly.

"That's fine.  They never feed us at dinners.  Which one is tonight?"

"The Heritage society, sir."  He pointed at the information sheet.  He went back to his office to arrange for the rugs to be cleaned if the dogs came in again.  They had people who were allergic and beasts that big would shed a lot.

***

Xander opened his door and pointed.  "Go inside, guys."  The dogs ran inside to sniff around.  He followed and then remembered the dog food, going out to grab it from the trunk.  Chris was frowning at him.  "Sorry."

"It's all right."  He brought in the bag of toys for him.  "A cup each," he said when Xander started to fill the new bowls he had bought.  "Dogs are infamous for eating until they get sick."  Xander nodded and halved the first one into the second bowl.  He turned around to two attentive dogs.  Xander put down the food and got out of the way.  Chris watched.  "Did the vet worm them?"

"He gave them both pills for that, put stuff on their fur for ear mites, and then for fleas, gave them each rabies and other shots.  He filled out the registration forms for me so can pay the dog tax on the way in tomorrow.  I can get dog tags made at the pet warehouse place."  Chris nodded.  "Not that I'm going to let them wander around alone.  That would be bad pet parentship of me."

"It would," Chris agreed.  The female dog came over to sniff him, letting him squat down to pet her.  "You're very friendly."  The male came over to snuffle him and get some of his own petting.  "You'll have to let them into the yard every few hours and clean up after whatever they drop."

Xander grimaced.  "I know."  He opened the back door.  "Want to sit on the back porch?"  Chris nodded and walked out there.  The dogs came out to sniff.  Xander left the screened in porch's door open for them to run and pee.  They both hopped up to sit with him on the lounger.  He grinned and petted them, getting doggy groans of pleasure.  "I'm doing okay, right?"

"They obviously like it," Chris agreed.  He settled in to watch how the boy handled things.  The male got up to sniff at the door, heading out into the fenced in back yard.  He peed and came back in, getting a coo and a pet.  The female one just huffed and moved her head to get some petting of her own.  Chris finally got up.  "Bring them out this weekend, when your car gets in."  Xander smiled and nodded.  "Better than you keeping the cheetah cub."

"For that I'd need a lot more space so she could run."

"You would, and you'd have to move somewhere warmer most of the time."  Xander nodded at that.  The female dog went out to pee and came back to cuddle again.  Xander cooed and made over her.  Chris smiled as he walked out.  The exterior security forces were changing.  "Guys, two additions to the house tonight."  They all stared at him.  "Two St. Bernards."

"I heard he had your youngest agent stop the car and ran over to adopt them off the side of the road," one said with a grimace.  "I can't believe he let him."

"He found them guarding a baby."  The agent's mouth flopped open.  Chris nodded.  "Remember, Xander's intuitive, guys.  He knew he needed to stop."  They both nodded.  "He's on the screened in porch with them so they can run outside to pee when needed."

"That's fine, sir.  Friendly?"

"She's more friendly than he is," Chris said.  That got a nod.   "Let me head back to the farm.  Have a safe night, gentlemen."  He got into his truck and drove off.

The guards shared a look.  "So he *knew* he needed to stop.  Huh."

"Some agents have that same sort of sixth sense," the other said.

"Yeah, but that's something we usually shun for."

"True.  You heard rumors about Standish?"

"Yeah but he's an undercover guy.  They usually have to ride the line a lot."  He shrugged.  "He seems decent enough and maybe he knew some of the arms dealers the boy dated."

"Maybe," the other guard decided.  They did a security and perimeter check.  It was hopefully going to be a quiet night.  Especially with the boss heading out in three hours to some sort of dinner.

Working on The Moves.

Xander leaned into the press room.  "What?"

"What did you name the two dogs?" one of the reporters called.

"Haven't decided yet.  JD and I were joking about Mighty and Morphin but then I'd have to get two more pets too."  He smirked and walked off.  He went to his office.  "I need to name the two dogs."

"Yes, that might help them know when you want to fuss over them," his secretary said.

He looked at her.  "What?"

"There's been some...rumors starting about your guard team, sir."

Xander snorted.  "I heard them.  It's total bullshit."

"Fine, if you're sure."

Xander stared at her.  "Do you really think Chris would put up with that?"

"No," she admitted.

"Or that both the Secret Service and the ATF director would suggest that team if that were true?"

"Probably not."

"Then quit listening to the stupid gossip.   Tell me about anything bad that's being said but some of it's truly the stupidest thing ever.  Things like I'm sleeping with an alien just ignore."

"I've heard that one," she admitted.

He gave her a look.  "Have you seen me dating?"

"Well, you tend to take Standish shopping."

"He tends to take *me* shopping," he corrected.  "He said I dressed like a slob."

"Kind of, sir."

He rolled his eyes.  "I'm comfy, that's all I care about.  When am I due at the Senate again?"

"You get to go scare them again tomorrow."

"Yay," he said flatly.  He went into his office to get to the downright nasty part of his job.  Fortunately halfway through a demon showed up to attack the White House.  He ran out to handle it.  Buck was behind him somewhere but Xander had what he needed.  It was even a harmful demon.  A huge one.  Xander dove in and fought the demon.  It took nearly a half hour but the demon did eventually die.  Xander panted, looking at the one who had gotten the demon from behind.  "Hi, Rona."

"Xander.   Were you bored?"

"Kinda," he admitted but he grinned.  "Not my fault."

"I know.  They just like you."  She walked around the corpse.  "Nicely fought."

"Thank you."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "I'm sweaty."

"I noticed.  C'mon, you can change I'm sure."  She walked him past the staring people.  "I see the Secret Service are still horrified by demons," she quipped.

"The one with the mustache and the blond are both really good ATF agents."

"Interesting."

"They're not freaked out usually."

"Boy!" Chris yelled.  He followed them.  "You need more work," he said bluntly.

"I've been working my way back up to it," Xander reminded him.

"Your moves were jerky and you nearly got clawed in the stomach."

"I know.  That happens.  Rona can help.  Oh, this is Rona.  She's my current slayer guard."

Chris nodded.  "Ma'am."  He pointed.  "Go shower and get checked over by Nathan."

"If he fusses I'm going to let Rona fuss back."

"Fine."  They finished their trek to John's bathroom.   "I'm bumming," Xander yelled as he walked past the oval office.

"Please do and then come give me a report."

Rona peeled off to go talk to him.  "Sir."

He stared at her.  "Slayer guard?"

"Yes, sir, I'm Rona."

John smiled.  "Nice to meet you, Rona.  What was it?"

"Dangerous.  Apparently it hated you, sir."

"Hmm.  Any idea why?"

"I'll track it back if it's a local one."  He nodded at that.  "Xander's showering."

"I agree he probably needs one."  He stared at her.  "Thank you for helping him."

"Sir, I want her to spar with you later so I can see what she's capable of," Chris ordered.  "Plus maybe she'll give you a bit of a challenge."

"I guess I can do that," he promised with a smile.  She grinned back.  "Go fuss over him."

"No, I got sent because I don't fuss.  Xander hates fussing.  He tries to run from it."  She walked off.  "Where is the check-in officer?  Kamria said I'd have to find them."

Chris walked her down there.  "Guys, this is Rona, the newest slayer guard."

"Welcome," the check-in/comm officer said, shaking her hand.  "Watch out for his new dogs."

"They're good dogs," Chris assured him.

"They drool.  All St. Bernard's drool."

"Point," Chris agreed.  "He's in John's apartment."

"That's fine," he agreed.  "The body?"

"We can dissolve it," Rona assured him, going to grab something from Xander's office and take it out there to pour on the body.  It dissolved and fizzled.  Finally it was a gooey spot.  "Hose it down.  It's sewer system safe."

"Who're you?" one of the uptight guards asked.

She smiled.  "The Slayer Rona."

"Oh!" he said, nodding.  "Thank you for helping our vice president, ma'am."

She patted him on the arm.  "Like Xander, I'm a realistic, nice, normal person until I have to do something."  He nodded so she walked off.  She met up with Xander inside.  He and the other guards said a silent prayer and got a hose.

Xander walked into John's office tucking in his new shirt.  "It hated you for supporting the oppressive regime in Korea who is presently destroying their people."

"Why are they doing that?" John asked.

"No idea.  I can check."

"Please do."  He looked him over.  "Injured?"

"Few light claw marks.  Nothing too huge or that needed more than a bandaid."  He smiled.  "I seriously need to step up my retraining."  He looked at Rona then at him.  "Want her to go with me or her to go search out to see if there's more?"

"Go search out if there's more, Rona."  She nodded.  "Xander, talk to that ambassador today."

"Gladly."  He went back to his office.  He gave Rona his demon bars list, getting a nod back.  Xander called the Korean embassy then traveled.  "JD, going to Korea."

"North or South?" he called, jogging to catch up.

"South."  JD nodded, grabbing Xander's car from the lot and pulling it around.  Xander got into the back.  Rona slid in too.  "Sure.  We're going by the bar to drop her for a bit."

"Sure, Xander."  He grinned at her and drove off.  Rona got out of the car once they got to the bar.  The bouncers were already looking horrified when they saw the car.  Seeing her made one swear and the other change colors.  JD drove them to the embassy, letting Xander get out first.  He parked and followed him inside.

Xander stared at the receptionist.  "Don't try it," he ordered.  "Where is he?"

"He is on the phone with our home people, sir," she said.

Xander nodded.  "Good, then they can explain the genocidal problem they're having.  Announce me."  She scurried off to do that.  She came back and walked them back there.  The ambassador hung up when they walked in.  "The demon that attacked the White House said that your people are having some sort of genocidal issue with their species?"

"They are harmful to our people."

Xander stared at him.  "Considering they eat trees?"  The man groaned.  "Let me guess, you guys wanted their trees for prime land so you tried to remove them.  They fought back?"  He slumped but nodded.  "Well, figure it the fuck out.  I've already taken out one I shouldn't have had to when he attacked the White House."

"We would like a slayer."

"No slayer's going to take out a harmless species.  That's against the rules."  He flinched.  "We deal with problem demons.  Vampires.  Those sort.  Not the problem you made for yourself."  He shifted his weight, crossing his arms over his chest.  "I'm going to be more blunt.  Leave 'em alone and they won't have problems with your people.  Or find them a better place with their sort of trees."

"Those trees are holy to us," he said.

"That's wonderful, but their species was here before your country had people painting on walls."  The man winced.  "They were there first.  Do you really want the problems we had with the Native Americans?  Because I would've stopped that too."

"No, I would not like that."

"Tell your higher ups?"

"I will and that they are not going to get a slayer."

Xander nodded.  "The one in your region probably already told you that."

"We have not seen her recently."

Xander smirked, moving closer.  "Is that because someone tried to arrest her to control her?"  He blanched, looking at him.  "Yeah, I'm well aware the slayers had to rescue their sister slayer.  I'm well aware of why.  I've been informed of all the times.  So has Buffy, so Jack knows too."  He stared at him.  "We have an apocalypse battle in five months.  I don't care if you people make your own problems."

"They're barbaric!" he said firmly.

"No, they're actually very technological.  Their tree houses are nicer than some of your grass huts.  Nicer than some of the ones I stayed in while I was in Africa too."

"Some of them have been captured," he sneered.

"I know that.  I went to help rescue them both.  I left the other rescues alone.  Down there, they know not to fuck with the slayers.  Because the slayers will leave your country alone."  The ambassador backed down at that.  "John wants an answer on what the fuck you did and what you're going to do to stop it.  He wants it by tonight."  He turned and walked off.  JD followed.

"Xander, he might retaliate politically," JD said once they were in the car.

"They're going to be begging to have a slayer back soon since by the count this morning they have over a thousand vampires gathering in their country."  JD gave him a horrified look.  Xander nodded.  "The girls aren't going to risk themselves for something this stupid.  The same as they don't go in the Middle East.  Unfortunately, Korea doesn't have a troop set up to deal with that issue for them like the Middle East set up."

"I get that.  They really did?"

"Yeah.  When they realized what was going on, and we told them the girls weren't going to come back because they weren't all that welcome, they set up their own troops to deal with it.  Now and then they bring someone over to spar with the girls to see if they're good enough."  He smiled.  "There's only been one that beat a slayer and it wasn't one of the alpha slayers.  They face a lesser one and then an alpha slayer."

"Wow."   He turned streets.  "Should we pick her up?"

"No, she'll show up later.  If she needs help, she'll text or I'll know."  He grinned.  "No good demon would ever touch a slayer.  The ones that aren't all that peaceful won't touch a slayer because they know it'll bring all the others down on their heads, or me.  The ones who're planning really bad shit like an apocalypse try to hide because they know they can't take out a slayer without their plans ending in a messy, bloody manner."  He shifted.  "I've got to introduce Rona to the dogs tonight."

"Is she staying with you?"

"That's up to her, JD.  Rona's not one of the ones who'll try to mother-hen me or treat me like I'm weak.  Though I need work with the sword stuff."

"You can get a personal trainer."

"I need one but I haven't been able to find one."  He shifted again.  "Do I have any tylenol in my desk?"

"Probably.  Wrenched you back?"

"My side hurts."  JD shot him a worried look.  "It's fine."

"That doctor told us to watch out for that."

"It's not in that area.  It's higher up.  I wrenched a rib."  JD nodded, but he'd still report it to Nathan.  They pulled in, Xander going to get the tylenol on his way to report.

John looked up.  "I've already been told you threatened them."

"They had to rescue a confiscated slayer last week."

"Ah."

"They're peaceful, tree living demons who they wanted to move to have their trees."

"So they're doing what we did to the Native Americans?"

"Yup."

"Charming," John said snidely.  "And?"

"I pointed out I knew that.  That they weren't going to be getting another slayer.  That the slayers weren't going to handle peaceful species.  I told them you wanted a report by tonight on how they're going to fix this shit."

"I do," John agreed.  "He was huffy and said you were rude."

"Well, I wasn't nice," Xander admitted with a smirk.  "But I was blunt."

"So you were more mean than rude?" John asked dryly.

"Yup."  He grinned.  "Let me take something for the pulled muscle in my chest.  Then I'll get back to the pointless shit."  He walked off to take the tylenol from Nathan's hand.  "It's up under my armpit."  He took it and Chris's cup of coffee to swallow it.  "Thanks."  He got him more from the good pot with a grin as he handed it back.  "I'm fine, Nathan."

"Bull.  You had to take pills."

"I pulled a muscle near my armpit."  Nathan pointed so he took him to his office to check him over for injuries.  Nathan huffed but left him alone to do the pointless paperwork.

***

"Oh my God, Xander!" Rona yelled, bringing him jogging outside.

"Kids," Xander called.  They backed down, barking at him.  "Good guard dogs."  He petted them.  "This is Rona.  She's a friend.  She's good to pet you.  She has nails."  Rona let the dogs sniff her and petted them.  He grinned.  "I adopted."

"I noticed."  She walked back inside with him.  The dogs followed.  "They're allowed inside?"

"Yeah, they like to sleep on my bed."  He grinned.  "Food?"

"Of course I can eat.  I'm a slayer," she joked, following him back to the kitchen.  "Am I staying with you?"

"Up to you."

"Cool."  The dogs stared at her until she petted them again.  "I don't feed Dean's hunting mutt either, guys."

"No begging," Xander ordered.  They ran out to play in the living room.  He grinned.  "Dean's got a hunting mutt?"

"Bobby trained one for him.  That way he can protect John and Mandy."

Xander grinned.  "Is their former father still fussing he's a girl?"

"Yup."  She smirked back.  "The dog loves to pounce her to lick."  Xander snickered.  "Are yours hunting?"

"No.  They're good dogs but they don't hunt demons."

"That's cool."  She sat down to eat with him.  "This is nicer than I expected."

"It's public property."

"Ah."  She nodded and dug in.  "Good cook."  He nodded, eating his own.  The dogs snuck back to nuzzle her knees.  She looked then petted with a smile.  "No begging."  They settled down under the table.  Xander grinned.  "They're good."

"They're very protective."  He ate another bite.  By the time they finished, Xander had saved out two pieces of meat.  They got dropped as he took the plates to the dishwasher.  He groaned when it refused to start.  "I have got to have that fixed."  He climbed under the sink to check the connections.  He finally came out and restarted it.  This time it turned on.

"Call the VP handyman?" she teased.

"That's called the Chief of Staff."  He went to call him.  "It's Xander.  The dishwasher is breaking down again.  No, the wires are corroded and I had to get under there to make sure it worked again.  Please."  He hung up.  "The last time they did any updating in here was the eighties."  She cackled.  "C'mon, guys."  He put down food for the dogs and went out to the living room.  Rona followed to catch up with him and see how he was doing.  He had looked rough during the battle earlier.

***

Xander walked into the dojo Chris had found for him.  "Master Tenaka."

He stared at him.  "I heard I was going to have a new student who had security needs."

"I've managed to fall slightly out of condition due to when I landed in the hospital and some liver damage."

"I remember."

"I'm still struggling with my sword and battle axe work, even with nightly katas.   I'm back to pulling muscles.  I have to be better for the girls' safety."

He nodded.  "All true."

"Can you help me?"

"I would have to test you."

Xander took off his jacket.  "I'm good with that.  Real swords or something else?"

"You use both axes and swords?"

"Yes."

"Katana?"

"Usually a longer, two handed sword.  I'm not against switching styles.  Though my axe is my baby."  He pulled out a picture with a grin.

The master smiled back, handing it over after looking at it.  "You are slightly insane."

"Yeah but I'm fun usually."  He grinned.  The master snorted, getting up to grab two practice swords.  He let Xander pick his.  They went into the gym area and he lunged, catching the boy off guard but he fought back well enough. A few winces and one blatant side hold but otherwise he was doing about as well as usual lately.

"You are sore there?"

"I pulled a muscle the other day.  I clearly need to be better.  I could handle more than that one attacking demon before."

"We all age if we're lucky."

"Yeah but I can't let age slow me down.  The girls need help."

"Agreed.  That is a hard duty to have."  Xander nodded.  "Why did you opt into it?"

"They took a friend."

"A slayer?"

"No, a vampire."  The master nodded at that.  He attacked again and Xander was easier this time.  They kept going until the boy gave up.

The master stared at him.  "You are good."

Xander looked at him, shaking his head.  "Not good enough."

"No, not good enough," he agreed.  "There is little I can teach you.  Beyond not overreaching."  He stared at the boy.  "You will train daily?"

"Yes.  I do at home."  The master smirked.  "I can forgo some of that for in here."

"Do the katas you know."  Xander nodded, starting on the first.  He watched and corrected his form.  It was bad and Xander knew that but he was clearly self-trained.  "Did you learn from someone?"

"On the job training."

He snorted.  "Good enough when young and robust but age means more careful movement before you get too injured."  Xander nodded, finishing that one and going on.  "From Highlander," he said dryly.  "Suited to a katana."  Xander shrugged.  "How did you pick your sword and axe?"

"Buffy thought my axe was too large for her.  The sword is usually whichever one I grab.  I traveled with a few but they weren't special as more than a weapon.  Which I love weapons, but I didn't name them or anything."

"Good."  He watched him move into the other one.  "What is wrong with your stomach?"

"I had some liver damage I had to heal in the hospital.  That's why I limped for weeks."  He sighed.  "Which is how I got out of shape.  It hurt like hell getting back to it."

"Would a blow there harm you more?"

"No.  Hurt like hell but no.  I'm working on that too with some heat and toughening treatments."

"Good idea," he agreed.  "Stop, that is painful to watch."  Xander stopped, panting.  He stared at him.  "You need work."

"I'm a good student," Xander said, looking at him.  "I have to learn better."

He nodded.  "With your duty, yes you do.  I will come to the White House every day?"

"Or my place, whichever is easier for you."

"The White House.  Your boss could use the work and so could some of your guards."  He stared at him.  "I am not cheap."

"I know."

"Good."  He held out a hand and the boy shook it.  "Ten?"

"I can push back my time to arrive at the Senate."

"That is important."

"Frankly, I'd rather train than go in early to be fussed at by people who will never understand."

The older man smirked.  "I will come at four."  Xander nodded.  "Do not be late."

"As often as possible I'll be early so I have time to warm up."

"Good.  Go shower.  You're sweaty."  Xander nodded.  "Bring your weapons tomorrow so I can examine their weight."

"That'll be a lot."

"Just the blades."

"That's still like ten swords and about six mini-axes, plus my usual is in Cleveland."

He nodded.  "Good.  Bring them."  Xander nodded, bowing and leaving him alone.  He smirked at his back.  "Yes, the boy could use the training.  A lot."  He sighed and went to arrange his schedule.  The boy did need the work and it was good for the world.  He didn't want to die in a fiery apocalypse anytime soon.

***

John walked into the gym, nodding at the sword master.  "I can take the same lessons?"

"Since you jump in so well, it would be good for your conditioning."  He looked him over.  "You know what sort of work?"

"Teyla introduced me to bantos rods and their style of fighting.  That's two sticks fighting."

"Interesting.  I would like to see what she can do sometime."  He pointed.  "Do you know swords?"

"No, all the apocalypses so far I've used either an energy weapon or a P-90."

"Then you should learn.  It will help you both."  John smiled and nodded.  Xander was stretching out.  "Do the same," he said with a point at Xander.  Rona and another young woman walked in.  "Slayers?"

"I am," Rona agreed with a smile.  "This is John's teammate, Teyla."

John looked over.  "Hey, Teyla.  How's the sprout?"

"The baby is fine, John."  She smiled.  "I came to see what he is learning now to see if he can still spar with me."

"Of course," the master agreed.  "It can only help him."  He looked at the other one.  "How trained are you?"

"Some.  All slayers get knowledge and fighting skills.  I don't favor swords.  I favor long knives."

"That's fine.  That is something they can learn as well."  He pointed.  "Get ready."  They moved to warm up for him.  He went over Xander's weapons collection.  It was many too many blades.  A few different lengths, weights, and widths.  All the smaller axes were built along the same lines.  "What is your bigger axe like, Xander?"

"Twice the size of the mini ones.  A little over twice as heavy."

"Hmm."  He handed the boy one.  "Do a kata?"

"These aren't really built for it but okay."  He started off on the axe katas he had developed.

John watched.  "That's fluid mostly.  Xander, is your side bothering you?"

"Still that pulled armpit muscle."

"Huh."  He came over to look at the swords.  "They're pretty."

"They're very diverse."

"Sometimes you need something heavier," Rona told him.  "Sometimes you need something you can hide."

"I suppose that is true," the master said.  He stopped Xander.  "We will spar with rods."  He got him a set and attacked.  Xander smiled and fought back.  John and Teyla worked against each other.  Rona watched and nodded.  He attacked her and she caught Xander's rod to protect herself.  She fought better than Xander, but that was to be expected.  He interrupted Teyla to attack her.  Her unique style showed in John's training and she was decent.  Enough to be trained.  He nodded, backing off.  "You are trainable."  He pointed.  "For now, the girls work together and the boys together."  He watched them spar and nodded, adjusting Xander's form faults.  The boy clearly needed trained earlier on.  John was... odd but good enough.  He could fix that with time and work.

***

Five and a half months later, the apocalypse finally started.  Xander and John got beamed there with Rona.  Faith looked then tossed Xander his axe, getting a grin.  They waded into the open portal's problem, taking it out.  It was a seven hour fight.  By the end, everyone was injured, bitten, scratched, and tired.  Xander dispatched his last one and looked around.  He threw his dagger at one of the girls, making her catch it and use it.  The soldiers that were backing them up cheered when the last demon died.  Xander looked around.  "Damn we made a mess, people."

"We can beam the remains into the sun," John announced.  "That way the people who farm around here don't have to worry."  The slayers all nodded, looking exhausted.  "Good work, people.  Go rest and recover."  Doctors Lam and Keller pushed their way through to treat the ones still standing.  They had manned the evacuation tents for hours.  The girls smiled weakly at the fussing.  John nodded at his people.  "Deadalus, report."  He listened to the report.  "Give us thirty to clear our people and then beam the demons into the sun to clean up the mess."

He hung up and they got all of their bodies out of the way.  He called for a wait for a few more to get carried out.  Then the beam-out happened.  John flopped down, watching them fuss over the girls.  They were sucking it up.  The soldiers were fussing back.  The other SG doctors were tired of it but oh well.  They saved the really fussy ones for last since they had been walking.

McKay was there yelling at John for endangering himself, and Jack too.  Buffy finally walked her husband off to fuss over him herself.  Xander had turned to deal with some of his own injuries.  "What are you doing?" McKay demanded when he caught Xander.

"Stitches?" Xander said, looking confused.  "Does it look odd?"  One of the nurses glared.  "I've done plenty of my own and I know not to run from Dr. Lam," he told her.  "Just taking some of the work off you guys."  He went back to the cuts on his legs.  His watch beeped and he sighed.  "Well, I guess we're all missing sparring today."

John nodded.  "Probably."  He called from McKay's phone.  "Chuck, we're fine.  I know he probably is.  We're all here in Illinois with the apocalypse cleanup.  We'll be there in about an hour if he wanted to wait.  Tell him we're sorry we couldn't warn him."  He heard the response that they needed to be tested today.  "Chuck, tell him we're exhausted.  It was a seven hour battle.  We're all still waiting for stitches and things.  Xander's doing his own stitches but we're last in line.  Hour probably.  Thanks."  He hung up and sighed, looking at Xander.  "He wants us to spar today anyway."

Xander nodded.  "That's how you build stamina," he sighed.  "I guess we'll do poorly today."  He finished up and clipped the thread, moving onto the next one.

"You should change between wounds, sir," one of the nurses said.

"That wastes threads and it's still on the same body so I don't have to change needles."  He got back to work.  "I'm not used to having enough to waste, nurse."

She huffed and came over since he was next anyway.  "At least they're good stitches."  She looked at him.  "Did you steal local?"

"Nope.  I'm kinda used to this.  I used to do Buffy's and Willow's too."  He kept moving.  "I can't do the ones on my back," he said quietly.

"I can work on those."  She changed gloves and helped him out of the remains of his t-shirt so she could look over his back.  She winced.  "This is going to take a while."

He looked back at her.  "No it won't.  I've had some that took hours."  She nodded and got some local.  "Don't.  I'll probably have a reaction."

"Are you allergic?"

"No but I'm unused to it."

"Oh."  She put it aside and started on the top injury.   "I see other scars.  Who stitched those?"

"Depends on which one," he admitted.  "Willow did a few.  Giles did once.  A few village healers a few times."  He shrugged and winced.  "Ow."  He got back to the ones on his legs.  "Little biters."

She snorted.  "Yes they were."  Doctor Lam came over.  "I'm working on his cuts."

"I can see that."  She looked at him.  "Okay, let's do a scanning, Xander."  He checked the mark but it had a cut already.  He took off the other necklaces and protections he wore.  She scanned him.  "You've been damaging your liver by drinking?"

"No, I got him on it the other day by accident," John admitted.  She glared at him.  "Sparring with the sword master we all work with.  I meant to hit him on the stomach but he ducked to the side.  It was swollen yesterday."

"It's still swollen."  She got back to it.  "Jeez, kid."  Xander shrugged again.  "Fine."  She got the healing wand to use on his liver again.  It was healing better this time.  It even healed some of the old damage.  She smiled at him.  "Better."

"Still suck at it," he muttered.

She patted him on the cheek.  "You did better than Ronon today."  He shrugged then winced and hissed.  "Local?"

"No."

"He said he's not used to it so he's not sure if he'll have a reaction," the nurse said.

"Ah."  She nodded, looking at him.  "I'll tell Nathan not to fuss."

"Thanks."

"Welcome.  Have fun taking a sponge bath.  I have no idea how you'll do your hair with the one in your scalp."

He shrugged.  "I'm hiding tomorrow.  People will overreact."  He finished up the one on his leg and switched to the other one.  "Hey, Rodney?"  He looked over from his bitching at John.  "Will they have problems if they want to plant later on in that field?"

"Probably," he said sarcastically.  "Blood isn't usually beneficial to plants."

"For how long and can we counter it?"

"I'll figure that out or assign a botanist," he said.  He looked at John again.  "He thinks more than you."

"I'm still wallowing in the pain," John said, glaring at him.  "Go figure that out, Rodney."  He huffed off but John felt liked since Rodney had bitched at him for so long.  It was good to have friends who would yell at you for getting hurt.

***

Xander walked into the press corps room the next day, limping heavily.  "I'm told we have questions.  What?"

"Sir, is the president injured?"

"He got about a hundred stitches, took a heating pad to bed last night for the bruises, but otherwise he's fine.  He's just cranky today."

"Sir, did you get injured?"

"Hell yes," he said dryly, looking at them.  "Which is why I'm cranky today."  They all nodded.  "We had questions, make it fast.  Please.  I'm due some advil soon."

"Sir, what was that?" one shouted.

"That was a plane opening up and spilling some extras they didn't want at home.  They did it to basically send the worst elements of their society at the slayers from what we were told.  Apparently that's their version of the electric chair."  They shuddered.  "By the Council's records, they only do it about once a century, when they get too many built up.  They always put rumors in the underground so the girls can be where they're needed."

"So in a century it'll happen again?"

"Sometime around there.   There's no firm date.  They just emptied out their prisons."  He pointed at another.  "You?"

"Sir, are there other realms that do this?  Was that what happened in LA?"

"No, LA was done by someone who wanted them to take over humanity and eat them so they could take over the world.  That was a group's bright idea to rule the universe.  They lost."  He shrugged and winced.  "Anyway, not the same.  As for other realms?  There's another that historically has done that after a civil revolt.  That was over five hundred years ago and a single slayer took them out, unfortunately losing her life at the time."  They nodded.  "The girls are mostly all right.  Some got injured pretty badly.  A few got severely injured."

"The former first lady?"

"Buffy's injured.  We're all injured, but she's got about fifty stitches.  Jack talked her into using energy weapons, which was what turned the tide for us since they were bulletproof."  He pointed at another.

"Did any of the girls lose their lives?"

"Three are listed in critical condition from head injuries.  Two are on respirators beyond them.  We're waiting to see if their healing gifts step up faster."  He grimaced.  "Any that do pass, we'll hold a memorial in Cleveland for.  The same as we have for the others that have died doing the duty."

"There are less girls now than in LA's invasion," another noted.

Xander nodded.  "Before the calling that got so many activated it was one was called, fought, then died.   Now we're seeing that some are dying and not calling another slayer.  It's reduced the slayer lines to about a third of what it was in LA.  The potentials being born are about at the same level as before however.  So we're not sure what's going to happen."

"How did so many get called if it was an individual duty?" one asked.

He stared at her.  Then sighed.  "Back when there was a Sunnydale, something got released.  She called herself the First Evil."  That got a mass shudder.  "Her minions were the ones that blew up the original Council and forced all the then potentials who could escape to come to Sunnydale to fight her.  Our team in Sunnydale figured out it took seven slayers to lock her back down.  We couldn't be sure which ones would die in the battle and therefore call another one who might still be in another country.

"We knew we had some that had managed to escape and not make it to Sunnydale.  So our head witch activated the whole line so we'd have seven.  The echos of her problems meant that we needed them," he said honestly.  He leaned on the podium to hold himself up.  Damn he ached.  "To be honest, if we hadn't had that many girls, we would've lost LA and probably everything then.  At that time there were only two."

"How two?" she asked.

"I knew CPR and brought Buffy back to life after a vampire master drowned her."  They took notes.  "That called Kendra, who later died and called Faith."

"So we went from one, to two...."

"Before the apocalypse that was our graduation from high school."

"That's...."

"Yeah," Xander agreed with a smirk.  "We needed the two at the time actually."

"Was Faith there?"

"No.  She was in a hospital bed.  Longer than average story there, ask her."  They nodded at that.  "Anything else?"

"Sir, how many more apocalypses do we expect?"

"We have some sort or another every spring.  Some sort of power move, someone wanting to take over a small area to rule it.  Every three years or so we have a major one that takes all the slayers.  The usual ones only take a few."  They nodded.  "We've had minor ones in London, LA, Sunnydale, Paris last year at the same time as the one in Germany and Lithuania.  I helped stop a few when I was in Africa.  Brazil had one year before last that was a gang power struggle."  They all groaned.  "We work in the shadows so most of you don't have to know.   That's our job.  Which is why Buffy fussed at Jack about medals."  He pointed at another one.  "Last one.  I'm exhausted and need advil.  If you guys have more questions, ask Buffy."

"Sir, we were told there were rumors of a present from a Saudi family?"

Xander stared at her.  "Huh?"

"A certain white horse, sir?"

"Well, a white horse did show up at one of my guard's farms.  With my name on it.  We cannot be sure who put it there.  I met the potential giver of the horse a few years back when I was traveling and taking down a hellgate while he was on vacation."  They all nodded.  "She's a beautiful mare, the diplomats and the State Department couldn't find who left it for me.  Honestly, it could've been anyone who wanted my attention.  So they said there's no harm."

"Sir, there's been a call to investigate that incident by a special prosecutor."

Xander snorted.  "They want to waste money to look at something the State Department already investigated?  Sounds like some of the conservative assholes who don't like me for being Council."  He shrugged and winced again.  "I don't care what they want to be honest.  They don't like me for multiple reasons.  They're doing anything they can to discredit me.  Personally I don't really care about their opinions.  I'm not John so I don't have to."  He looked at the doorway to make sure John wasn't there then at them.

"We all know I'm blunt and apparently some them can't take people who think, are blunt, and tell them what they think about their stupid ideas.  I'm not going to hide what I think from anyone.  Especially not when they're trying to get pushy and in my face about their ideas.  I'm all for helping people but what they wanted was dumb and pushing us backwards.  And yes, I'm being really blunt today because I'm in pain and I could care less.  Right now, I'll bite."  They all smiled.  "I don't want to push people back into the darker ages.  Let's move ahead, not rant about the loss of the innocence and all that.  Even the fifties weren't like what they think."

John walked in.  "I agree, it was a stupid idea."  He handed Xander some pills.  "Pain killers.  Nathan said you're past your time."

Xander nodded.  "By about twenty minutes."  He took them with the bottle of water John handed him.  He sighed in relief a few minutes later.  "That wasn't advil."

"No, Doctor Lam sent that over for you," he said dryly.  He looked at the press people.  "Yes, that call to investigate the horse is stupid.  The State Department said they couldn't find out who left it.  They thought it might've been a wannabe lover of his."  A few laughed.  "Especially since he dated someone right after it showed up.  Personally I think this is election year fussing and whining.  I put up with it when I was in his job.  Xander's more blunt and plain spoken than I am.  He doesn't play politics at all."

"I didn't really know anything about politics when I got elected," Xander pointed out, grinning at him.  "You're really nice."

"I know I am."  He patted him on an undamaged part of his arm.  "Guys, I just gave him real painkillers so I'm putting him on his couch.  Let's leave him alone.  He's got about three hundred stitches."  They all shuddered.  He walked him off, taking him to his office.  He put Xander on his couch.  "JD, make sure he doesn't wander.  The drugs made him goofy and happier."  He walked off to his own office.

"Sure," JD called after him.  He sat down against the door and opened his fun reading book.  Xander would have to walk over him to get out of his office and embarrass himself.

The Press Secretary stepped in with a smile.  "Sorry, the day after a battle is never a good one."

"Is Mr. Harris going to actively campaign against the people causing him problems for being a normal guy?" one asked.

He shrugged.  "Xander doesn't really understand what politics is for.  He's very anti doing things for alliances and things.  He understands the diplomatic versions but not the annoying one they're using in the Senate to make alliances and get votes for their pet projects.  He goes on the 'if it's a good idea, we'll like it' theory."

"That goes very well with the normal guy he is," one reporter said.  "He's the most plain spoken politician ever."  The press secretary nodded.  "Someone wanted to know if he liked country music."

"I think he said that's his sad, upset music.  I know he's listened to everything from pop to country to native music in his office.  It depends on how he feels and what he's doing."

"Will he be going to the opera when it restarts?"

"I don't think he's ever been exposed to opera.  I know the Sheppard family doesn't favor it.  Maybe he'll go to see what it's like.  I'm not sure.  He has taken the time to hit every single museum in the city in his time here."  He pointed.  "What's on your mind?"

"Is Mr. Harris going to be all right?  The last major apocalypse he spent a lot of time in the hospital.  There were stories about possible liver damage from that energy bolt."

"I'm told that was fully healed.  He's back to the same condition he was when he left Sunnydale."

"Yet, he spends money on a personal trainer?"

"He and the President both attend practices with a self-defense instructor that teaches sword work."  They all gave him odd looks.  "Slayers use swords and stakes before they use guns."

"Oh, I see," she said.  "Are they any good?"

"They're amazing.  Xander lost some conditioning after that injury to his side.  He's regained most of it.  As proven yesterday when he lasted longer than some of the slayers.  He said he's more stubborn."  He pointed at another.  "Last one."

"What if they do call a special prosecutor?"

"Then I'm sure they'll put up with it," he admitted.  "It's not like he's done anything wrong.  We watch over his shoulder to make sure he can't make a misstep like that since he's not fully used to all the regulations."

"That car he's driving, his or the government's?"

"His.  He bought it from his paycheck for his personal use."

"How are the dogs?" one called before he could move.

He smiled.  "They're fine.  Probably at home waiting on him to come play.  They like to play fetch from what I've seen."  He left the room.  He had to tell John what was being said about that special prosecutor thing.  Some of the fundamentalists on each side needed a good, long beating.

***

Xander looked at the man who was admitted to his office later that afternoon.  "What?"

"You bite?"

Xander stared at him.  "Yes, I do.  When necessary."  He leaned back in his chair.  "Why are you invading my office?"

"Sir, the car you use...."

"I bought it from my personal account.  It's mine."

"Oh, I see."  He nodded.  "I was wondering why it didn't have government plates."

"Because it doesn't."

"You were putting in a request to redo some of the Vice President's house?"

"The kitchen's forty years old.  The appliances are about thirty years old and breaking down.  I've had to fix the dishwasher twice in the last week."  The man nodded at that.  "The fridge could use updated as well.  Energy efficient ones would be better."

"That's going to be expensive."

"If I buy them I'm taking them with me," he said dryly.

"Good point.  Um, have you had someone out?"

"Yes.  At my own expense and I did put in to have that reimbursed."

"I understand fully.  What remodeling plans did you have?"

"Just updating the appliances, adding a work island with an extra sink.  Changing a few things so it had separate ovens and cooktop so the cook can make full meals and not swear at the oven again."

"That would be good, yes.  You could do it and then ask for reimbursement."

"I thought about that but since they're so damn slow and I'm using my paycheck to afford things like my health care and other matters....."

"Oh, that's reasonable I suppose."  He shifted his weight.  "The call for a special prosecutor is stronger today."  Xander shrugged.  "You don't care?"

"What are they going to say?  I've done nothing wrong.  You guys stare over my shoulder like I'm a toddler most of the time to make sure of it."  He winced but nodded.  "If they want to waste the people's money then they can pay the price and not be elected for it.  Because, honestly, I don't care.  Most of them aren't ones I'd save in case of an emergency."

"Fine, sir.   Thank you."  He left.  Clearly that one was losing his hope in humanity.  He'd have to stop that problem.

Xander called someone.  "It's me.  Yes, Xander."  He listened.  "No, I'm fed up.  I'm going to take this weekend off.  Thanks, man.  Yeah, that problem.  I've given up.  They're all spoiled little bitches who need the hell beaten out of them for being dumbasses.  I don't care if someone is tapping this line, dude.  They all know I think it.  I've said it a few times over stupid things.  Anyway, I'll be by you this weekend so fair warning."  He hung up and stood up with a wince.  "JD, I'm going off this weekend."

"You have an appointment early Saturday to speak to the local schools' gay and lesbian associations during their convention," his assistant said.

"That's fine, I can do that and travel from there.  I'm going to be out of touch the rest of the weekend."

"Where are you going, sir, so we can make reservations?"

"Nope.  I've already got a place to hit."  He walked out, going to tell John.  "I'm getting out of this hellhole of stupidity before I slay people.  After my speech Saturday I'm heading for the weekend.  I'll be back mid-afternoon Monday."  He walked off to go to the gym.  It was almost time for sparring.

John grimaced.  "He's clearly not happy today."

"I don't doubt it with the way they're trying to ride him again," his chief of staff said.  "I'll have a quiet word with someone that he's reached his point of opening fire in the Senate."  He went to call a few friends on Capitol Hill to warn them.

John went to talk to the boy.  It was nearly time for sparring so he'd be in the gym.  "Hey," he said as he walked in.

Xander looked up.  "I don't care if they suddenly become scared of me again."

"I know.  You want to talk about it?"

"No."  He went back to stretching.  "I used to believe in the power of humanity before I went to Africa.  Then I realized lions are nicer to their prey than we are to ourselves.  For all I care, some days, they can eat each other and I'll guard what's mine to protect."  He looked at his boss.  "They've proven they want to be big dogs and I doubt they could handle the reality of the real world."

"You clearly needed a vacation a while ago," John said calmly, coming closer.  "Why didn't you take one?"

"I need the time practicing."

"Good point but you could've taken a weekend at Camp David.  I can make arrangements for that."

"No thanks.  I'm going to go somewhere it'll be really hard to find me.  Before that fantasy I had the other day of a lion being released in Congress becomes wish demon fodder."

"I understand fully," he admitted.  "Though you can't really be out of contact."

"I'll have my old phone on me.  It's a sat phone."  He looked at his boss and friend.  "Let the guys go do team things this weekend.  They could use it because this is driving them nuts too."

"Sure, we can do that.  I have nothing planned this weekend so I can probably head back to Atlantis for the weekend.  That way both of us get some calming down time."  He moved closer, touching Xander on the shoulder, getting a hiss.  "Take care of yourself?"

"Of course."  He smirked.  "I didn't survive yesterday to be die tomorrow."

"Good."  Chris walked in with Rona.  "We're heading off for the weekend.  He's going to hide after his speech somewhere he can't be found.  I'm going to Atlantis.  You guys can have the weekend off to just be a team."

Chris nodded.  "That'll work.  Which one of us are you taking, kid?"

"None of you.  I'm going to a limited threat environment and I'll have other people there to protect me if I need to use it."

"Where?" Chris asked.

"If I tell you, then the ears on the walls will hear and spill it to others."  Chris gave him a dirty look.  "They have in here bugged and my office.  They'd tell people and I might get into something dangerous if they did.  Therefore I'm not telling anyone.  For that matter, I don't have to be followed to the convention."

"Fat chance," Chris said.  "They've already got protestors."

"Has Metro PD taken care of it?" Xander asked, staring at him.

"No.  Not yet.  So far they're being peaceful."

Xander grimaced.  "No, that won't work with the vision I had last night."  Chris moaned.  "I gave it to the call-in officer."

"I'll get that from him," Chris said.  He left them alone.

"Rona, can you house and puppy sit?"

"Sure, Xander."  She smiled.  "Tell them I said hi?"

"I will."  He gave her a hug.  "All right, let's beat the hell out of each other until he gets here.  Maybe he'll be impressed and we can go early tonight.  Because I'm still sore."

"Me too," Rona agreed.

"Me three," John sighed but they got out the stuff to spar with so they could get back to work.  They could all be attacked at any time and needed to be in top form.

***

Xander drove by the hotel and grimaced.  The problem was already starting.  Metro PD was there in puny force.  He got out and walked over to one of them, tapping him on the arm.  The man gave him a horrified look.  "I'm the one who had the vision about them grabbing some of the kids to hurt them," he said bluntly.  "I haven't been wrong yet."

"I'll see if we can get a few more officers down here, sir.  Are you speaking tonight?"

"Tomorrow morning."  He smiled.  "I'm out for ice cream right now officially."  He walked off again.  Yeah, that might help.  Hopefully they wouldn't be able to grab any of the kids.  He couldn't ask Rona to watch for it but he did see Buck circulating and smirked.  That may work.  Hell, if he had to, he'd call a harmless scary looking demon in to scare the bigots off.  That would make them flee in terror.

***

Xander showed up the next morning wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and hiking boots.  He was carrying a bag.  He tossed Ezra the keys since he was waiting on him.  "The two kids okay?"

"They're fine.  Spooked but not injured.  Buck said you showed up last night."

"To explain it a bit better."  He walked into the conference room, putting the bag down on the chair behind him.  "Good morning."  He smiled.  The crowd cheered.  "It's good we stopped that last night.  People like that are the biggest threat to freedom we have."  He launched into his speech.  He also outlined how he wanted them all to go to college, do great things, and take his place in the Senate some day.  That got more cheering.  He smiled at the end and grabbed something.

"You guys have a great weekend, hopefully safer than it has been, and I'll do the same."  He smiled and used Dawn's transport stone to his girls.  They all squealed and pounced him.  "You only have me until Monday."  They got him into the kitchen to make ice cream with them.  It was nice to be home.  He could actually talk to his girls and they'd understand.  They had to deal with corrupt politicians all too often.

Ezra called in that he had left on his trip and he was bringing the car to the farm.  They had known the boy wouldn't take a cab.  One of the teenagers stopped him.  "Yes?"

"How did he disappear that way?" she asked.

He smiled.  "Something that the Council's witches cooked up to move him in case of emergency.  He's with some of his friends having a weekend off I believe."  She smiled and walked off.  Ezra drove out to the farm and got out, heading right for his gelding.  He did need a good, mind clearing ride.  Before the boy drove him nuts.

***

Faith looked out the window that afternoon.  "For some reason the press are back," she announced.  "'Drew?"

"Oh, no!  You suckered me into talking to them the last time!"

"Fine."  She walked out there.  "You're making the girls worried while they get ready for patrol and dates why?" she demanded.

"Did Mr. Harris come here for his weekend off?"

She snorted.  "He knows he could come home but if he did, the girls would squeal, pounce, and ask his opinion on things like their boyfriends.  Not exactly relaxing."

"Do you know where he went?"

"If I did, I wouldn't tell you guys.  He wanted a weekend away from you jackals."  They groaned.  "You guys are driving him nuts and so are the fundies that think he's evil because he wasn't born to money.  So go find a real story and a life, people.  Today."  They fled.  Faith wasn't known for putting up with shit at the slayer house.  It tended to get them arrested.  Or possibly attacked by the hellhound that had decided it lived in the garden, again.  It liked to protect the girls.  Faith went back inside.

"They're looking for Xander but they're gone," she announced.  "Situation normal."  The girls all got happy again doing hair and makeup for the night.  Faith went to get a soda and some quiet time.  There were days she wanted Buffy to take this job, but she was happily married and slightly retired.  She called her.  "Can you come be a house mother at the least for a week?"  She took a sip.  "Date night, yeah."  She hung up.  Buffy appeared and went up to hang with the girls so Faith could catch a nap and some tv in her room alone.  Faith decided she wanted a good lay and snuck out to find one instead.

***

Xander walked into the Senate Monday afternoon, tipping his chair to get the person out of it before he sat down.  He looked at him.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  Are you officially back?"

"Yup."  The man smirked.  "I heard already and I've already given him what he wanted.  He's already said there's no point."  The man slumped.  "So you're kindly wasting the Senate's time, money, and energy for stupid things that have no bearing in reality.  Go sit down."  He went back to his seat.  He looked at the Speaker.  "Where are we?"

"On the motion to impeach you actually."

He smirked.  "For?"

"Lying."

"When?"

"What?"

"Impeachment would mean lying under oath, correct?"  She nodded.  "When have I ever taken an oath?"  She gaped.  He gave her a smug look.  "I don't testify in anything, dear.  So no, your motion is pointless, useless, and another waste of time and money.  Beyond that you can't do it without your prosecutor buddy saying so.  Since he's already said there's no cause....  By the way, he's waiting.  Sir?"  He came in.  "Can you please report the preliminary findings?"

He cleared his throat.  "I have no idea why I was called as a special prosecutor.  So far nothing that I have seen mentions a misuse of public funds, lying under oath, or any other crime that can be charged to a Vice President."

"You're trying to remodel your house on public funds," she sneered at him.

"That's because the appliances are thirty years old," he said bluntly.  "And they quit working."  She flinched.  "Plus, the kitchen hasn't been redone since the eighties.   Yes, it needs some maintenance work.  I'm not paying for it out of more than my taxes because it's not my house to upkeep.  It's your house to upkeep.  For that matter I've had plans drawn up for months now that would save on energy bills and all that other good stuff.  It got approved and then the sub committee decided to stick their noses in it and protest the expense."  He leaned forward.

"Well, hate to tell you this, but the White House's kitchen needs to be redone too.  It's at least twenty years old."  She grimaced.  "That's not coming out of our funds.  It's not supposed to.  The same as I still filed for legitimate reimbursement for having someone come out to fix the dishwasher again because it nearly started a fire."  She sat down with a groan.  "So get over yourself and your petty politicking bullshit."  He looked at the prosecutor.  "I'm calling for a vote.  Is his job secure and is he to do more looking and wasting more money or not?"  The vote to keep him was firmly high.  "Fine, you have fun.  Let me know if you need any more of my documents."

"I will, sir."  He left.

Xander smirked.  "Your opponents will love you for that I'm sure."  He banged the gavel.  "I'll let you go spin all your disastrous decisions to your people.  Go home."  They filed out.  He looked at the Speaker.  "You too."

"You bought things on public money!" she shouted.

"I bought my own car with my own salary!" he said firmly, standing up to stare down at her.  "You have no idea what the hell you're talking about."

"You're gay," she sneered.

"I'm bi, get it right, and you're just jealous because I could make your husband scream more than you can."  She gasped.  He smirked.  "Yeah, I know."  She stomped off.  He walked out, going back to the White House.  "We had a shouting match in the senate," he announced as he walked past John's doorway.

"I've already heard and you're grounded," John called.

"Yay."  He went to his office to gather things so he could go home to play with his dogs.   He was sure all the nice senators up for reelection, which was all of them, were going to have fits trying to defend their actions to their voting public.  He dropped something on John's desk on the way off.  "A motion to reformat some military duties.  Jack wanted to but didn't think he had the ability.  Buffy sent it to my email."  He walked off again.

John looked it over, nodding at it.  He called in the Joint Chiefs to talk about it and kick around ideas.  Clearly some of them were good ones.  They had a lot of problems with some of the newer things.  Then he'd have to do a speech to denounce the stupidity of calling for a special prosecutor.

***

John stood up in front of the press two days later.  "I'm here to talk about two things today," he announced.  "First, no, his comments weren't polite, weren't anything but rude, and I do apologize for him.  Personally though, I might've lost my temper and said the same thing."  A few reporters gasped.  He stared at them.  "They were being pushy for no reason other than his personal life.  They need to get their own lives in order first.  After all, we do all live in a glass house when we serve the public."  He smiled.  "I'm sure theirs are not rock proof."  He looked around.

"The second thing is that Former President O'Neill has been working on a plan with a few other generals on how to restructure some of the duties all of us in the armed forces need to have covered.  We are presently working on a plan to restructure not only the base life, but duties, who covers what areas, and switching some bases to more forward thinking technology.  They finally brought this plan to me recently and it sounds like it will work in theory.  Therefore we have decided to roll out the changes in a few units as a trial."  He smiled.  "I think it will affect duties in a positive way but we'll see how it works for a year.  Then we'll implement it."  He tapped his notes together.

"Sir, will this lead to base closings?" a reporter asked.

"No.  Actually it will lead to some smaller bases being repurposed for training instead.  It will save jobs in the long run and make our military more efficient we think."

"Will it be switching basic training out of the bases it has now?"

"Not really.  A few need some major repairs so those would be temporary changes most likely.  I'm talking about specialist training for things like telemetry and those things.  We have small bases doing the work, but the training is on a different set of bases.  That didn't make sense to us.  This way people can be trained on the actual equipment they'll be working on."  They all nodded at that.  "It will move two bases that need some serious repairs to smaller bases for a while.  We'll run a skeleton crew on those bases while repairs are being made.  Camp Lejeune is one of them.  The head of the Marines is deciding where to move basic training for a while until that base's facilities are all updated.  That will be announced next month sometime."

"Will this impact any soldiers serving overseas?" one asked.

"No, though it may impact the ones going through special forces training.  It was thought that it would be better to move the camps they train at to ones that didn't require them to switch off for certain portions of their training.  Or possibly, there's an idea being kicked around, to combine them all on one new base or a reopened one that has all the terrain and complications they need for their specialized training.  That is still in discussion and we'll be talking to the commanders over those areas before any final decisions are made."

"Sir, will we be decreasing the size of the military?"

"Not really.  I don't anticipate any layoffs from this.  As I said, I want and need to keep the jobs there and fresh."  She sat down.  "I don't think we'll see any truly lost.  Most people would be shuffled to an equitable job in another area."  He pointed at one.

"Sir, about Mr. Harris, was that all pain from his injuries?  Or was he really mad?"

"I think he's really tired of the petty crap that they've been giving him and he's not the sort to socially or politely ruin people.  He's much more open than most senators or representatives are.  They might try to ruin you with an alliance or getting your state's other senators to give you hell.  He'll bluntly be in your face calling you an idiot.  He's not like them.  He's like the rest of us real people.  Frankly, if the Senate can't fix itself of this petty problems that they're causing, and it's not him starting it because they tried it with me too, then I hope that their opponents win and we get new blood that wants to help and work for this country instead of for their own interests."

"How many are doing this?" she asked.

"I got blindsided by the first one sent at me and it was five senators then.  The same five have added a few against him because he's on reserve status for the Council.  Frankly, if they're citizens I don't care if they're orange and fuzzy or green or black or purple or white.  If you're a citizen, you're a citizen."  She smiled.  "They, however, are acting like sheep behind someone whose mouth knows no ends of foul rumors and stupid ideas.   Honestly, I believe he's right to push back against them.  I wish he wouldn't let his temper out but there were days I wanted to release a lion into congress and dart the people instead of the beast too."

"Sir, did he actually out someone's husband?"

"I do not know.  I was not there.  All I heard was she was making snide remarks and he shot back.  I'm sure someone will tell me sometime tonight but I know Xander would not intentionally out anyone.  Not that he believes anyone should have to hide who they really are.  He never has hidden who he was and he doesn't think anyone else should, though he knows why some do.  He's not the sort to cause people emotional harm just to play with them."

"Will he be campaigning against any of the in their home states?"

"I don't think Xander really cares about that sort of thing.  I think he's going to say that he would rather let the people decide without pressure based on what they've done.  He's seen some of the worst that humanity can do and some of the best.  Right now I think he's lumping some of the senators in the same boat as the people he helped defend a refugee camp in Africa from.  I think he's not far off on their intentions to cause harm.   I do wish that the senate was filled with people who wanted to actually do the job, not just have the title."  He smiled.  "Have a good day."  He walked off.  He got a note from the chief of staff.  "What's his saying?"

"I don't know yet.  It's being broadcast later, after yours."  He gave him a look.  "He's very reactionary."

"I think he's right to react.  I reacted but I had learned subtlety.  Xander never learned that.  It's refreshing in a way."  He went to his office to turn on the tv so he could hear what Xander was saying.  The speech was good.  Ezra had clearly helped him with it.  He had both dogs beside him because he was in a park.  He was making good points about what his duties were and it was his duty to keep the house he lived in up to public standards.  That if they didn't like it, they could come live in it.  John snickered at that.

The boy went on to make other points in a non-huffy or angry manner.  It was nice of him.  Though he was seriously causing some people problems in their upcoming elections.  So maybe Ezra had taken his education into hand in that area as well.  It was the most polite version of 'fuck you all and the bitch you rode in on, and if I catch you trying me again I'm going to fuck you up' that John had ever heard.

***

The night of the midterm elections, John watched how well it had worked.  Half the senate was out come January.  Half the House too.  Some in important seats but they'd fix that.  He sipped his beer as the results kept droning on about how the President had lost confidence so the people didn't trust them to protect and work for the country.  He looked at Rodney and Willow, who were talking quietly.  "Want me to give you guys some time alone?"

"We're still not dating," Willow huffed.  "Who taught Xander how to play politics?"

"I think it was either Cordelia or Ezra."  He smirked and thought at the city, who knew just what he wanted.  John stood up and stretched.  "Let me head back so people can find me."  He smirked as he got beamed back to his apartment.

"He's much too smug these days," Rodney said.  Willow nodded.   They went back to their polite argument about quantum string theory.  She was using crackpot examples and it was driving him insane again.  There was a flash of light and suddenly they were in a sealed room.  "What is this?" he demanded, looking around.

She blushed, shrugging.  "The old honeymoon suite of the Ancients?"

"It's cheesy enough to be," he agreed with a grimace.  He huffed and sat down.  "I know that goofy haired bastard did this."

She nudged him and pointed at something.  "I think he had some help since I saw Sam Carter buying that the other day with Vala."  He looked and blushed at the lingerie openly flung over the back of a chair.  They shared a look.  "So, spanking?"

"I'm going to gut them all and let you turn them into toys for the boy's St. Bernard's."   He huffed and scowled.  At least until the window started to blow a peculiar scent.  Then he decided maybe a cuddle would be nice tonight.  She agreed and it was nice between them.

Definitely geek love instead of hot and heavy sex.

It's All Starting Again

Xander walked into the Senate the first day back.  "Good morning, people."  A few frowned at him.  "It's another starting point so let's get things started."  He banged his gavel and they went back to their seats.  "I hope this term of Senate will be productive, as opposed to the last one.  First, we have to decide some important seats."  He smiled.  "So I'll take nominations now."

"In the open?" one asked.

"Yes, in the open.  How would you know who to talk to if we don't figure out what you're doing beyond this?"  They all nodded.  "I see we have sixteen seats appropriated by state and the rest are open."  He put those up on the overhead viewer so they could see it.  "And I see the matter of my house update is on the schedule again."

"Sir, is it really that bad?" one asked.  Xander put up a picture that went with that request.  She hissed.  "That's really far out of date."

"Yes it is," he agreed.  "And broken as of last night."  They all nodded at that.  "That's a later issue.  I didn't put it on there."

"I did so we could get it settled," one said.  He had been here since the renewal as they were calling it.  "The refrigerator broke?"

"Totally died with a puff of smoke."

"How are you eating?"

"The stove still works."  He shrugged.  "The freezer's being used with dry ice."  He smirked.  "Let's get back to the point at hand.  Changing seats and filling them.  Does anyone want to switch seats?"  A few brought up their requests.  He looked them over and added them to the list and took off where they had been.  Seniority gets that privilege.  The rest were quickly filled and the last few weren't really wanted but they were newbies so they got the crap seats.

They moved on to the first day of real work and they passed the remodeling needs for the White House and the Admiral's House where Xander lived.  They started to work on an actual piece of legislation and it was better.  Most of them could reasonably talk to work things out so far.  No shouting matches.  Not as many snide people either.  It was a nice start.

***

Xander walked out of the house, finding Ezra pulling up.  "I didn't think I had anything to do tonight."

"You don't, but you do have to appear better dressed for the press conference tomorrow."  He got out.  "What were you planning on doing tonight?"

"Getting lost in an upscale, very security conscious club."  He grinned.  "I was taking the Secret Service guys so no one would say we were out on a date again."

Ezra smirked.  "I have no doubt you could use that sort of attention, but they're still not very safe for you.  They tend to hesitate."

"Not always.  Besides, I can pretty well handle most everything."  Ezra nodded he knew that.  "Then I was going to come out and baby the horses before I go in tomorrow."

"That would be nice.  Yours pouts."  Xander grinned.  "Tomorrow's outfit?"

"Blue dress pants you had me buy at that last place, a nice shirt?"

"Wear the charcoal gray ones.  They tend to like those on you and perhaps that blue jewel-toned shirt?   That way you don't clash with John?"

"Sure.  Thank you, Ezra."

"You're quite welcome."  He smiled back.  "You should have one of us."

"I'd probably traumatize most of you.  It's a gay club, Ezra.  Chris would scowl at all the people.  JD would probably lose a lot of innocence watching everything, and Buck couldn't handle it I don't think."

"He's tolerant."

"Not that part."

"Ah, one of those clubs."  Xander held up his invitation with a grin.  "That is not a place you should be seen."

"But it sounds fun."

"It would look bad on others."

"Not like I'm dating."

"True," he admitted.  "I doubt the other guards could deal with that situation."

"It was one of them that got me the invite."

"Hmm.  Fine.  I'll come with you."

"Ezra, you have a life to live too.  Go play."

"There's no way they'll handle you being there by yourself.  Anything could happen."  He stared at him.  "I'll go and then head home."

"Ezra, I'm going to probably be closing down the club," he pointed out.  "It's been a long time since I played."   Ezra gave him a dirty look.  "Not like I can go to the bar and pick up someone," he said dryly.  "Or even really date."

"True, but that sort of entertainment is not healthy either."

"Yay."  He shrugged.  "I'm still going."

"Fine, then I'll go with you."

"No," he sighed.  "If you do they'll never stop saying we're dating and it'll hurt your job and stuff."

"It will not.  Get in the car."

"We're taking the SUV."  He pointed.  Ezra locked his car up and walked him over.  The two guards smiled at him.  "We're still not dating, guys.  He got pushy."

"Hopefully you won't pick up the next evil one there, sir," one said dryly.  He got in to drive.  Ezra got into the backseat.  The other got in front and they drove off.  Hopefully the press hadn't gotten wind of it.  They were supposed to be highly overprotective of their people and discreet.  He hoped.

They made it to the club without incident and inside the back entrance.  Xander handed over his invitation, getting to meet the manager on the way to the VIP room.  Xander chatted happily and the manager was happy with them.  Xander went down onto the floor while the guards watched him carefully from the window.  Ezra sighed.  "We're not going down there, Standish."

Ezra watched him.  "No one's dancing with him."

"No, but I don't want to be in that pile when it starts," he countered.  "You can if you want."

"I think he wanted to find someone different to dance with this time," Ezra said dryly.  They all watched as someone causally hit on the boy and Xander let him dance with him.  It was nice.  The boy was clearly used to being the one hunted in the clubs instead of the hunter.  That one wasn't worthy but a few were happier to have him in their personal space.  "This is the most polite dirty club I've ever been in," he admitted quietly.  They snickered.  "Most clubs do have their elements but this one is very polite, very clean, and they do try to hide the sex in the hallway in the shadows."

"There's rentable rooms upstairs," one of the guards told him.

"Even more discreet.  Thank you, gentlemen."  They both nodded.  Xander was having a lot of fun.  They all winced when someone bought him a drink but it was unopened so probably not tampered with.  Xander was clearly having fun.  A few of the people only wanted him for his body but he was willing for that.  They all sighed when someone walked in the main entrance and clearly headed right for the boy.  "Do we know him?" he asked.

"No, not yet," one said, taking his picture and running it through the FBI and Homeland Security databases.  "Hmm.  He's on the terrorist watch list.  Figures."  He went to find the manager, who said they had to wait until he was outside.  They understood that and called in Homeland agents to subtly wait for him to come out.  He went back up there.  "They'll be waiting for him to walk out."

Ezra coughed.  "It appears Xander already knew him."  They groaned and nodded.  "I wonder where he met that one."

"Africa or helping the slayers probably."  He looked at Ezra.  "Go get him to drink some water?"

"I can do so."  He went down there and to the bar, getting the boy some water and bringing it to him.  "Here."  Xander grinned, taking it to drink.  "How did you meet him?"

"He took me hostage once and wanted me back."  He shrugged and drank the rest of the water.  "Thanks, Ezra."

"Welcome, Xander.  Try not to pick up anyone too... evil?"  He walked off again.

"I never do it on purpose," he complained.  He got back into the crowd dancing.  It was a release he needed.  Even if he didn't pick up anyone.  Though there were a few people he could see slamming against a wall, kissing them stupid, and then riding them until they begged for mercy.  Maybe they'd like that too?

***

John looked up as Xander walked in.  He looked a bit tired and was drinking coffee instead of soda.  "Both of us are too damn old to close down clubs, Xander.  Men our age should know better."

"Quit before I don't tell you how bad the sex was," he shot back dryly.

"Fine.  Feeling better?"

"Much.  Just getting onto the floor made me feel better.  The admittedly craptastic sex wasn't bad.  Just kinda short and kinda pointless.  I'd rather be dating someone."  He shrugged and took another drink.  "I'm letting Ezra nag the workmen in my kitchen for me today."

"That's fine.  Chris said he had been warned Ezra made you take him."

"Well, yeah.  I was going to take the Secret Service guys."  He shrugged and took another drink.

"That had better not be your breakfast," Nathan complained.

Xander looked at him.  "No, I was giving a blowjob for breakfast, Nathan."  He gasped and backed out of the office.  Xander shut the door and smiled at John as he walked back to the desk.  "So, press conference announcing more of the adjustment?"  John handed over the speech so he could go over it.  "I still don't like that one idea."

"It's only being tested in two units."

"That's good but I think it'll cause problems and less solidarity."

"Possibly.  That's why we're doing the test in small units."  He smiled and got back to his own coffee and paperwork.  "Thank you for keeping the Senate on track again."

"Honestly, they all want to work and do the job.  So far no one's been infected with politics.  I'm sure it's coming up since the Cost of Living bill is coming up."

"Forgot about that.  When?"

"Next week sometime probably."  John made a note of that.  "A farm bill at the same time and the appointment to the FDA."  John nodded, marking that down as well.  "And those two judges are going to be fought over hard."

"I know.  They're good judges."

"Yeah but they don't play politics either."

"Good point.  Neither do we."  He shrugged and got back to his paperwork.  Someone knocked and Chris walked in.  "Ezra argued himself into going from what I'm told."

"That's what he told me."  He glared at Xander.  "You had to make Nathan rant that way?"

"Yup.  He was nagging again."  He sipped his coffee, getting some more from John's pot, which got him scowled at by John.  "I deserve it.  I didn't even pick up the terrorist that wanted to hold me hostage again."  He walked off to his office.  "I'll quit making you gasp like a teenage girl if you quit nagging, Nathan," he called as he walked past that group.

"Were you at least safe?" he demanded.

Xander stared at him.  "You do realize you're talking to a guy who grew up after AIDS started and I was in Southern Cali?"  Nathan slumped.  "Duh!  That's something that I'd probably do even after I got an evil or dangerous thing of my own."  He went to his office and shut the door, shaking his head.  Sometimes the ATF team were really fun but Nathan clearly needed some girlfriend time.  Chris leaned in after knocking.  "Can't Nathan go pounce his girlfriend for a few weeks?"

"Next month is his off.  It's time."

"Crap."  He finished his coffee and brushed his teeth, following him out once he had rinsed and spit.  He smiled at John when they met up outside the room.

"Shirt change," John ordered.  Xander looked at the toothpaste mark and went to change into one of the ones in his office, which didn't match his pants so he had to change those too.  He ended up in a jade green shirt and a pair of black pants that were tight enough to cause drool.  He walked out and John nodded, letting him fuss with his hair before they walked in together.  "Good morning," John said.  "Let's settle in so we can get this statement out of the way."  He smiled.

***

Ezra watched the speech, staring at the boy.  "That is not what I told him to wear."

One of the workmen looked at the tv.  "He looks nice, sir."

"He does.  I put that outfit in his office for that reason."  He sipped his tea.  "How much longer on this renovation?"

"Two more days to install the last of the cabinet locks and the countertops."  He smiled, leaving him alone since it looked like he had been up all night.  Clearly the VP was THE Man for his boyfriend.

***

Xander strolled into the politician and agent bar later that night, looking around.  Buck was with him so they went to sit with the agents.  Buck got them both a beer and they settled in to relax.

"You know, there's all sorts of stories about Standish from the Atlanta FBI office.  I don't know how someone so dirty gets such a prime job.  I couldn't get it even if I applied," one agent nearby complained.

"Standish didn't do any of those things.  He was undercover, man.  You know how things happen on undercovers."  He slung back his own drink.  "Beyond that, they probably picked him because he could put up with the VP's gay leanings.  There's no telling what he does at night because of that."

"I still don't get it and some of those rumors had to be true."

Xander cleared his throat.  "Do you really think Larabee would have him on his team if that was true?" he asked.  The agent sneered.  "I mean, Chris Larabee is the original hardass.  He hand-picked his team.  Must mean some of those are false.  So maybe it was because Ezra found a dirty agent down there or something."  Buck had told him about those rumors when they had shown up in case he heard them.

"Yeah, I bet," he sneered.

"Boys, I think you've had enough. You're embarrassing your agencies," Buck noted.

"I don't think that's your business," he said, taking a swing at Buck.

Xander swung at both of them and they both fell down when he connected with their jaws.  "I think it's my business, boys."  They gaped, giving him horrified looks.  He saw police come in and waved them back.  "Make sure these two get home.  They're mightily drunk and started the fight.  I won't press charges this time since they're drunkenly dumb."

"Sir, they could press charges against you," one said quietly.

Xander shrugged.  "I've been in a few fist fights in my time, guys.  If they do, so be it."

"No, we won't press charges," one said quickly, covering his friend's mouth.  He hissed in his ear.  "That's the damn VP!" and he decided he didn't want to press charges either.

Xander let the officers cart them off before he wiped at the small spot of blood from his split lip.  "Huh.  They do get stupid and petty."  He sipped his beer.  The owner glared so he smiled.  "I only stopped it."

"I know, sir.  We have a VIP room."

"Then I can't be around people.  It sucks."  He moved to talk to others in the bar, getting friendly responses and some information that some agents thought their directors were idiots.  Which he agreed with after he heard some of the stories.  Clearly stupid.  He and Buck got sucked into a 'my director is more stupid than yours' contest, but Xander used Buffy and Giles as his entries.  They all laughed at a few decisions.  The shoe shopping for the apocalypse incident nearly won the whole thing.

***

Xander looked up as someone was let into his office the next Monday.  "Director Vance," he said with a smile.  "Sit please."

"Sir, is there a problem with my agency?"

"Yes, and from what I heard, it's because you're shallow, petty, and following in some really dumb footsteps."  He stared at the man once he sat down.  "I know that your agency is in transition but did you like it when the last director made arbitrary decisions that caused problems?"

"No," he said carefully.  "Who have you been talking to?"

"About a quarter of your agency in the last three days."  He stared at him.  "Starting with a few in a bar after hours.  Then I went looking to verify the rumors and stories I heard.  Sheppard herself was bad.  We wouldn't have put up with that if Jack had known.  I know Jack would've booted her within seconds.  You're affecting your agency so they're hindered solving crimes.  You're following in some very bad footsteps."  He held out the notes he had taken.  "If a quarter of your agency complains about the same sixteen things, and a few others randomly, then there's probably a problem with that, right?"

"Are any other directors getting this talk?"

Xander smiled.  "Hell yes.  And don't you dare warn them.  John may be hiring for one of them soon."   He could see the clear mental 'shit' mantra going across his face.  "Read and see, Vance."  He looked over the notes, grimacing at a few.  Xander handed over a few more when he was handed those back.  "This is something that could help.  It was a suggestion that a few of your best people came up with.

"It lets those who have the skills do what they need to do.  Makes a few purely physical response teams and some that aren't.  You can move some that have been in the field there instead of back to a computer based approach since they don't want to be in the office anymore.  They've been trained for field work and you're not using them to their full ability."

"I see."  He read the idea over, nodding.  "I had plans of doing some of it."

"Yes, but they said the people you'd pick for it wouldn't want to be there."  Vance winced.  "That they're field trained and like being in the field now.  It'd be like retirement at a very young age for them.  You have a lot of unhappy people.  Unhappy people don't solve crimes as fast or at all.  Which means you're going to have a high turnover rate as well."

"I'll take a look over my staffing decisions and see where the unhappiness is, sir."  Xander pointed at the notes.  "I saw."  Xander smiled.  "Can I take this idea?"

"Yes, they drafted it for you.  I told them to give me an idea to give to you.  They've been working on this idea for months."

"Thank you, sir, for letting me know I have problems."  He shook his hand and stood up.  "Does the President know?"

"That I've been hearing rumors of unhappy agents.  That I was going to bring it directly to the directors.  One's going to be a meeting with him later today."

"Thank you for bringing this to my attention, sir."  He left, swearing all the way back to his agency to fix things before he lost a quarter of his staff.  They would quit, he had no hope that they would stay because they were loyal to him.  Sheppard had to do a lot of hiring because she had driven off a lot of her people as well.  This was bad for NCIS.

Xander walked his next set of notes into John's office.  "I rearranged that call on you."

"I already handled it when I had a few free moments last hour.  What's going on?"

Xander handed over the whole pile of notes.  "We're talking to the head of the FBI together because some of his things are bordering on criminal as far as I can tell."  He sat down.  "I talked to Vance at NCIS just now."

"Those are good complaints."  He put that aside to go over last.  The other agencies he winced at.  "Is that the same one that caused Ezra problems?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, he was found to be dirty and then got bumped up the scale because of it."  They shared a look.  "I don't want that in my FBI."

"Me either."  He put that pile to the other side, going over the others.  "Homeland?"

"Looks bad but I was going to go over it with him and Homeworld since some of his problems are crimping Homeworld."

"Good idea.  I can talk to them with you."  He looked at the other ones.  "Not enough at the DEA?"

"Not that many.  Theirs is more 'internal affairs needs to work harder' sorts.  I had an informal talk with him last night about the rumors I had been hearing and the complaints.  He had a beer, agreed it needed to work harder and he wasn't sure how to make it so.  I told him who to talk to about getting the IA people for the covert agencies to help him.  Same job but external people."

"That's a reasonable idea," John agreed.  "If not, maybe he could borrow a few for a while."

"That's what he was thinking," Xander agreed.  He smiled.  "The other one is a shithole ready to be set on fire."  John read that one and winced.  "I was going to talk to him in private because I'm sure he realizes it but I wanted to see if he had any ideas and suggest that he come to you with good ideas."

"Definitely.  We can talk to them together too."  He put them to that side too.  He smiled.  "Good job."

"Thank you."

"You're finally getting the hang of this."

"Yup, and thankfully I only have a year left," he said with a smile.

"You and me both, Xander."  He leaned back.  "Chuck, tell me when the Director of the FBI gets here."

He leaned in.  "His secretary said he had an emergency call to handle today."

"Is it on the news?" Xander asked.  He shook his head.  "Is his wife expecting?"  He shook his head again, smiling now.  "Then it's not an emergency and he'll be here within an hour."

"Yes, sir."

"On my orders," John told him.  He nodded and made that clear.  "You'd give him an hour?"

"Traffic's a bitch today," he said.

"Good point.  It took you how long to get in today?"

"Almost an hour."

"Damn."

"Yeah, basically.  Even JD swore at the traffic this morning."  John smiled.  "I don't know what Metro was doing today but it was clearly a cluster fuck."

"Maybe it was accidents."

Xander shook his head.  "No.  I didn't see any."  He turned on the local news station.  If it was accidents they'd be on the news.  No, it turned out the police were doing a lot of raids today.  It was a few blocks at a time being shut down.  "Hmm.  Warrant sweep."

"I pity their judges," John said.  Rodney beamed in glaring at him.  "What?"

"The damn room wouldn't let us free until today."

Xander smiled.  "Clearly she thought you needed it."  Rodney glared at him too.  He stared back.  "Treat her well or I'll make you regret it before she does."

"We're not together!" he shouted.

"Clearly you are," John said dryly.  "I'm happy for you, Rodney.  Quit fussing and realize it's nice."

He huffed.  "She can't even think about heterosexual sex."

"Willow could never talk about sex without blushing," Xander said with a small shrug.  "She used to call it 'the sex' because she couldn't talk about it when she was with Oz and Tara."

"Oh."  He considered it.  "So she's just being shy?"

"She's nervous," Xander admitted.  "Oz left to get control of the wolf.  He came back but she had moved on with Tara then.  If she's nervous enough about things, she'll move back to something she considers safe.  Which is why I broke up with Cordelia and she nearly lost Oz when we started a kissing thing for a few weeks."

Rodney considered that.  "I see."

"It was never more than her panicking and me feeding a need Cordelia wasn't giving me."  He gave him a pointed look.  "Make her relax about things.  You can be subtle I'm sure?"

"Yes."  He cleared his throat.  "How did her relationship with Oz go?"

"She was just getting into magic.  He distracted her but he was also a bass player in a local band.  They didn't have sex until the build-up to graduation.  I think a few days before.  That was months after they started to date."

"So I've probably had more relationships than her?"

"She's had three that I know of.  She didn't even try to date after Kennedy died that I heard."

"Oh."  He added that to his mental file on Willow.  "So that's why she's been nervous."  Xander and John both nodded.  "Hmm.  Thank you."

"Welcome.  We all think Willow will be a lot better about everything once she has someone to fuss and whine at.  It'll mean things will fall back into a more natural state.  Unless you ignore her by spending all your time in the lab."

"Half the time she's in there with me.  So I couldn't abandon her that way."  He went back to the city to talk to her.  They clearly needed to talk about non-pointless things like they had for the last month.

John smiled at Xander.  "I think they'll be good for each other."

"Hopefully she won't hurt him."  He shifted again, watching the tv.  One of the guards walked up to the desk and Chuck, saying something.  "The Director of the FBI?" he called.  The guard nodded.  "Show him in please.  We need to have a talk."

"Yes, sir."  The Director walked in and Xander shut the door.  "You think this is over that fight?" he hissed.

Chuck shook his head.  "Xander heard a lot of unhappy reports from agents," he said quietly.  "He's spent the last week talking to a lot of agents."  The guard hissed and winced.  "Not yours."

"That's good."  He went to talk to the other gossips around the office to see how bad this was going to be.  Apparently he hadn't been talking to Secret Service agents.  They all looked toward the office when someone started to shout.  It wasn't John or Xander, though Xander's voice carried very well when he wanted it to.

"Sit down and shut up!" Xander said firmly.  "You don't argue with the president because you're an idiot!"

The shouting quit and they all relaxed again.  Even when a telegram arrived for the VP they were happier and relaxed again.  Chuck brought it in to Xander and left again because he didn't want to see the man in there be that huffy.

Xander opened it, smiling.  "From Prince Sel."

"Good news?" John asked casually.   He was aware of why Xander had gotten his mare.  Xander grinned.  "Very good news?"

"It's a set of twins, a girl and a boy.  The girl may still be a slayer.  She's got a mark but not a full mole."

"That's wonderful news.  I know he needed a son."  He looked at the director of the FBI again.  "I'm going to have someone go over those people and their problems."  Xander slid over a name and number.  "Covert IA people?"

"Yup.  Their head person.  I think he'll be happy to ruin some people's careers."

They both looked at the present director of the FBI.  "I'll retire," he sneered.

"Good," Xander agreed.  "Take those people with you.  Today."

"You're protecting Standish," he sneered.

"No.  I'm standing up for good agents, all of them.  He's tried it to three other agents who wouldn't play with him that way.  Frankly, I'm more impressed with Ezra since I heard what happened."  The man went pale.  "Make no mistake, he will go to jail for it if Ezra or the others press charges.  I'll have a talk with the prosecutor myself to make sure of it.  You guys are the people the local law enforcement people look up to.  You can't be that corrupt or they learn bad habits.  Then the world goes to hell.  We can't let that happen."

"Fine."  He stomped out.

Xander leaned back, looking at John.  "That's going to be a bit messy for a week or so but good people will be able to fill in."

"Is there an AD that's good to sub?"

"The local one I'm told is a bastard of epic proportions but decent enough.  Fornell?"

"I'll call him.  Chuck, get me AD Fornell of the FBI.  Now."

"Yes, sir."  He called that office and got to him after a few transfers.  "Sir, this is the President's office.  He wanted to see you ASAP over an issue," he said quietly.  "No, sir, all I can say is that your director was just here.  Thank you, sir."  He hung up.  "He's at the courthouse about to testify, sir, he'll be here as soon as he can," he called.

"Thank you, Chuck."  He looked at Xander and set up the time for the other meetings.  Xander was stepping up very well as his second-in-command.  It was saving him a lot of work.

***

Ezra walked into Xander's office, closing the door.  "Xander, did the situation in Atlanta play any part in the firings today?"

"No."  He looked at him.  "They didn't just do it to you, Ezra.  That night Buck and I went out we started to hear a lot of unhappy comments so I went looking.  That one agent who hurt you will be arrested because he was forcing another agent into a sexually submissive relationship with him to keep her name clear when she hadn't done anything."  Ezra grimaced but nodded.

"They know she wasn't the first it happened to, and may come ask you, but I didn't do it just because of the hell they put you through.  I got into the fist fight because of the hell they put you through and the new rumors," he finished dryly, making Ezra moan.  "Buck did the same thing when they took a swing at me for it," he said with a grin.  "I don't let friends get that level of shit piled on them."

Ezra stared at him.  "I'm supposed to be your bodyguard."

"And you are.  That doesn't mean we can't be friends, Ezra.  That bodyguarding thing only means you can't be asked to bend me over the desk."  Ezra smirked at that.  Xander smirked back.  "Which I think you'd be picky in bed so I wouldn't ask anyway.  I don't trash my friendships usually."

"Thank you."  He smiled.  "There's all sorts of rumors that you did this to protect me."

Xander shook his head.  "No, it's going to come out.  There's a good ten charges against him from that one agent and the other five he did it to can all join in.  Including you.  The other problems made the temping director yell at his whole agency for ten minutes before he switched from swearing to real words."

"Oooh," Ezra said with a wince.  "Who got appointed the temporary director?"

"AD Fornell."

"Hmm.  Much is said about him being a hardass."  He shrugged.  "At least I'm now ATF."

"The ATF's problems I heard were few.  I talked with the director about them casually and he agreed they had some problems with those areas and he was looking at them.  I told him who had given me a few good suggestions, including JD, and he'll be asking them for ideas."  He smiled.  "He was happy JD had a good idea."

"He doesn't really understand our team all that well."

"Sometimes teams are the right fit, even if they seem odd.  Look at my former team."  He shrugged.  "You should probably open the door before they think we're in here making out again."

"I have Mr. Larabee outside the doorway in case I had to shout and rant myself hoarse."

Xander grinned.  "I'm sure he'd help and it'd be epic."  Ezra nodded, leaving him alone.  "I'm heading out to play with the horses later," he called.

"That's fine," Chris agreed.  He looked at Ezra.  "Well?"

"He's done it to others."

"Crap."

"Definitely.  It's going to be quite voluminous soon."  He walked off shaking his head.  It was sweet of the boy.  He'd have to make sure he could keep his professional distance to him.

Chris leaned into Xander's office.  "You two good?"

"Yeah.  I didn't do more than get into that fist fight because of what happened to him, Chris."  He looked at him.  "I get into fights for friends though."

"True."  He smiled.  "His month off is next month."

"That's fine.  I can dress myself for a while," he quipped with a smirk.

"I'll make sure he remembers to rearrange your closet on you again, kid."  He walked off shaking his head.  The kid was definitely unique and his relationship with Ezra was clearly just as different.

***

Xander was home the night of the primary elections, frowning at the music that got interrupted for the news he was trying to avoid.  "NO!" he shouted.  "Not happening!"  JD leaned in to look at him.  He pointed at the radio.  "They fucking did it again!"

"Yup.  By the news you've got about twenty percent on everyone.  Sorry, Xander."  He fled before the fit could start.  He called Chris to warn him.  Apparently the White House was in lockdown because John was throwing an epic fit in the gym.

Xander looked at his plate.  "I'm not eating steak, damn it!" he shouted.  "You can't do that to us!"  He heard Cordelia cackle and got a very bad feeling.  "Oh, no!  No way in hell!"

She fade in and smirked at him.  "You're not a higher power," she taunted.

"Rodney said he can make a Ghostbuster's trap," he growled.

She faded out cackling.  She was so giddy she went to brag to Buffy and Jack.  Who were ignoring the phone and tv.  Then to Willow and Rodney, but he managed to banish her for a bit.  She'd brag later, when they weren't naked cuddling on the balcony talking about her going back to school.

***

John glared at his press secretary the next morning.  "We're not running.  We both want to retire."

"Sir, apparently they don't care."  He dropped off the notes.  "I'll let it be known that once again you're not running."  He fled.  He could hear Xander growling in the hallway.

Xander walked in.  "Willow suggested a suicide pact to get out of this.  Maybe it'd move us to another part of hell so we can be punished some other way."

"I'd hate to mess up my prettiness, Xander.  I'll beat both of them later."

Xander pointed.  "I can go on a slutty, coke induced boyfriend binge if it'll help," he offered.

John shook his head.  "Probably not.  It might keep you out in four years though."

"We'd never let you do that," Chris said as he walked up the hallway.  "Sorry."

"That means they'd try to keep you here for another four years," Xander called.  "Since they originally said a year and it's been almost two."  He looked at John again, giving him the begging look.  "Can't I at least quit?"

"Probably not," he sighed.  He stared at the poor guy.  He could see someone trying to make him president in four years to protect everyone.  Not that anyone screwed with the US.  Jack had scared the hell out of most of them.  John had proven himself to be scary, and every country didn't want to know what would happen if Xander ordered the slayers to let them suffer or didn't go to an apocalypse.  "We'll figure it out."

"The offer for the boyfriend slutty binge stands," Xander offered.

"I know, Xander.   We'll consider that."  Xander pouted.  "Go to the gym or play in the pool, make yourself feel better."

"Nathan tossed out the ice cream again."

"I'll beat his ass myself," John assured him, getting up to go yell at Nathan.  Today was a day for ice cream if any was.  And beer.  Lots and lots of beer.  Maybe a good, long scream too.  He growled at Nathan.  "Quit picking on the diets around here.  We save the fucking universe, we deserve ice cream when we want it."  Nathan backed down and nodded, pointing.  "And not that diet shit either.  Real ice cream."  He walked past him to the kitchen.  "Can you please get us some comfort food for tonight?"

"Yes, sir, and having heard I went around Nathan.  There's some Ben and Jerry's in the deep freezer," the chef said with a smile.

John smiled back.  "Thank you."

"When did you adopt the girl diet anyway, sir?"

"I think I got it off Xander, who probably got it off all the slayers."  He got his ice cream pint and went back to his desk.  Nathan had made himself scarce, thankfully.   Maybe he needed to give him some more girlfriend time.  He didn't nag for a few days after he came back from Denver.  He got Chris sent to his office.  "Send Nathan to screw his girlfriend for a week, Chris, so he quits nagging again," he said between bites.

Chris smirked.  "I would but Vin's back there."

John shrugged.  "We can handle it without both of them.  Xander can not go screw half a club to get bad notice on purpose.  I won't go get drunk in public.  We can do this without the nagging."

"I'll see if he'd like that optional week off without it taking from his vacation time," he said, walking off shaking his head.  "Nathan, you nagged yourself into a week with your girlfriend."  Nathan scowled.  "Tough.  Sheppard ordered because you annoyed the hell out of him just now.  He said you don't nag when you come back happy."  He gave him a look.  "Where's Harris?"

"The pool."  He huffed but he knew an order when he heard it.  He'd let Ezra nag the boy into eating this week.  Ezra had him well in hand most of the time.  No one was going to speculate how unless they worked for some sort of entertainment news magazine.

Chris went to the pool, finding the VP floating on his back, rubbing his side.  "That injury bothering you?"

"Just a stitch," he said quietly.

"Uh-huh.  When do you go back to Baltimore?"

"Next month."

Chris looked at him.  "I think it needs to be sooner, Harris."  Xander shrugged.  "Call him or I'm calling Lam."

"Damn it, leave me alone," Xander complained.

"Hell no."  He called the comm officer to tell John.  Dr. Lam stomped in a few minutes later.  He pointed.  "He's looking a bit... greenish."

"He does," she agreed.  "Xander, out of the pool now."

"Oh, bite me!" he complained.

"I can have your ass beamed out, young man," she ordered.  He huffed but swum over and got out so she could scan his side.  She grimaced.  "When was the last time you saw your liver doctor?"

"Six months ago."

"So, right before the last attack?" she guessed.  He nodded.  "It looks like you're not doing it any good."  She found his number in her digital record for him, walking off talking to him.  The boy dived back in and she grimaced but went back to talking about what she had seen.  It wasn't cirrhosis.  It wasn't anything that was blatantly a problem but it had lost some more function.  So they had to do something about this.

He agreed to her using the healing wand and he'd see the boy on Saturday.  She hung up and got the healing wand, getting him back out with Chris's help.  She ran it over his side.  No benefit.  She stared at him but he shrugged.  She did another test and swatted him hard on the head.  "Damn mermaid taint, Harris."

"Not my fault."

"I don't care.  Go shower off the chlorine and I'll see you in your office in ten minutes.  Just in case it was pulling up due to the water."  He grimaced but went that way rubbing his head.

"I know a Marine who did that head swat," Chris told her with a smile.

"I learned it off a Marine," she quipped, grinning back.  "Go make sure he's fully dried off in case it was swimming that brought it up."  He nodded, going to check on the boy.  He waved her in there since he was bent over holding his side.  She checked over it again, grimacing.  "There's no way that's good."  She got him out from under the water.  The mermaid taint did calm down again.  "That's what it was.  It looks like you're trying to grow another organ."

"Probably for processing seaweed," he muttered.  "I had sushi the other night and it started then."

"They probably got one of them in a net or it had some in one of the fish," she decided.  She called Keller to work on the DNA issue.  She was the best they had at that.  Well, the best would be Carson Beckett but he was in stasis.  She had to get Willow onto that problem, see if she could find something magical to fix it.  Keller appeared with a different machine.  "What does that one do?"

"Weeds out DNA taint.  We used it after the Iratus bug incident.  It's why John shows so little taint from it."

"A what?" Chris asked.

"Iratus bugs are what the Wraith evolved from," Keller told him.  Chris shuddered.  "Exactly."  She put it over Xander's side.  The beam made him yelp and hit the ground but that was fine.  It was easier that way anyway.  Keller made a shallow cut and black blood flowed out.  "It's sending it from you," she said calmly.  An hour later, the blood switched to a mix of black and red.  Then slowly it faded to red.  It was just a trickle of blood by then.  She checked again.  "He's down to three percent taint."

"That's what Willow said she weeded him down to after he got tainted," Lam said.  She looked at the boy, who was deep in his head.  She reached down to stroke over his hair, making him flinch.  "Hey."  He blinked at her.  "You're back to three percent, Xander."  Xander nodded, staring at them.  She pointed at the cut that was now healing.  "You barely have any left.  No more fish."

"I don't like fish, but it was a diplomatic thing."

"I'll make sure they know no more fish."  She helped him up.  The healing wand helped more this time.  She made notes for his liver doctor and he said he'd see him at his regular appointment instead since they had fixed it.  Xander got put onto his couch while the doctors made their report to John.   He nodded at that, getting his chief of staff to let the other embassies know.  The doctors went to have tea at a shop they adored in DC then home.  It was a nice day.

***

Xander walked into the press room the next day.  "You guys needed to ask a question?"

"Sir, it was put around that you're not allowed to have fish anymore.  A sudden onset of allergies?"

"No, apparently I managed to find the one in a million piece of fish that was tainted with the same sort of taint I got back in high school that you guys made such a big deal about.  It made me a bit sick so we don't want to take that chance again."

"Bit sick how?" another one asked.  "Like nauseous?"

"No, like it set the taint to try to grow an extra organ next to my liver," he said bluntly.  "Before anyone asks, unless you've been tainted by it already you don't have to worry about it.  Where I had that prior taint, it was like radiation and then the new taint helped me try to adapt."  He looked around.  "Otherwise I'm fine.  A bit sore but I'm good."

"Did they stop that process?"

"Yeah."  He smirked.  "Doctors Lam and Keller, from John's project, both were amazingly helpful with that."

"How many others have this taint?" one reporter asked.

"As far as I know, they all turned into sea creatures."  He shrugged.  "I've never heard of another case."  They all nodded at that.  "Then again, most people aren't going to catch one, cut it into chunks, soak in a sauna that held said chunks, and possibly eat some of it too."  A few shuddered.  "The swim coach wanted to win *really* hard."

"Did he go to jail?" one of the reporters asked.

"No, the ones that turned killed him."

"Sir, how many people died in your graduating class?  We heard Sunnydale had a high death rate."

"Um...  Hmm.  Buffy got a nice award from the school during the prom for causing the lowest death rate in forever there.  We were down to a twelve percent death rate for the town."  They all stared, a few had mouths open.  "When Buffy moved in it was closer to thirty, guys.  Plus disappearances, the suicide rate, all that.  The class before mine started with about four hundred kids total in kindergarten if I remember right, and graduated about a hundred-twenty-three or so."

"That's about twenty percent," one said.

"I know."  He shrugged.  "It went down my sophomore, so their junior, year.  Otherwise they would've graduated probably just under a hundred, maybe about eighty with a few of the major things that happened."

"How in the hell did people live like that?" one demanded.

Xander shrugged.  "Sunnydale residents had the best 'I don't see anything' shield going on ever.  We were never sure if it was the hellmouth or just a general panicked denial problem.  We had years it was worse.  We had one year that only graduated seven people if I remember right.  That was when I was ten or nine, something like that.  It was all over the papers that it was the smallest graduating class ever.  But everyone who went to the school and survived it did graduate.  They were always very proud of that."

"Can that be done on the current hellmouth?"

"I hope not.  Have we seen anyone who's been around that long and hasn't changed?  Beyond Dick Clark?"  A few giggled at that.  "The old mayor, Wilkins, built Sunnydale to enhance the hellmouth because it added to his plans to change into a pure demon.  Which was a ninety foot snake."  A few moaned and a few more shuddered.  "That was our graduation.  Frankly, he let Sunnydale be a feeding ground because it was good for his plans.  The current Hellmouth has no one like that on the city council and Cleveland's a really big city.  The death rate raised about two percent due to the flocking vampires but nothing like Sunnydale's."

"So would you consider Cleveland a safe city to live in?"

"Mostly.  I wouldn't personally want to live near the hellmouth.  I mean, we're not sure if any of us took excess radiation from it.  Since hellmouths are basically thin spots between the walls of the worlds, we're not sure if there's going to be some radiation spillover or anything.  I know that I was raised really close to it.  I was actually born overtop of it," he admitted.  "I don't think anyone's noticed anything different about kids who were raised close to the one in Cleveland since it opened.  I'd like to see someone study that in case there are problems."

"Do you think that's why so many strange thing happened to you?  That you were born overtop of it?"

Xander shrugged.  "We think it's just Harris luck.  We have no idea.  The girls teased me about being a demon magnet for years.  When they finally stopped it was because I pointed out their former bad taste in boyfriends.   No one else could ever date a demon that got put on the internet."  A few raised their hands.  "Long time ago, people."  He smirked.  That would pay Willow back for sending him fish things.  "Back before I dated Cordelia."

"No one's seen her recently, sir.  Did you finally banish her?"

"No.  I saw her on the night of primaries.  She was cackling about me not being able to disappear to get away from all you guys."  He pointed.  "Anything else?"

"Sir, do you think there's some boys who look at you as a role model and might want to be a knight themselves?"

"I'm told someone did show up at the Council building to learn how to hunt but they got referred to Dawn and her spouse and brother-in-law for that.  Most of the people who hunt do it because we were affected by it.  It got into our lives.  I jumped in when vampires took my best friend."  They all nodded at that.  "I got downright pushy to help Buffy because of that.  I knew I could be killed but it was more important that no one else got hurt the same way.  If there's others who want to hunt, they need to know it's not glamorous.  It's not a healthy job.

"It's like joining the PD because a criminal took out your whole family.  You're there to get revenge and make sure the same bastards don't come after anyone else.  It doesn't usually lead to a long life, a happy life, or really any sort of contentment.  Hunters do it because we're driven to do the job by our experiences.  Slayers have very little choice.  They're called even if they don't like it.  Some do take enough training to protect themselves then fade into the light but most of them get drawn back after being attacked.  We'd like to have never exposed everyone to how bad this life is, but Jack said it was for the best."  He shrugged.  "Anything else?"

"Would you say joining the military if you had a white knight complex would be just as healthy?"

"Probably more healthy.  They have ways of supporting people with knight complexes and channeling those urges into methods that lead to longer lives.  Or psychological counseling in some cases, depending on why you turned into a Knight."

"Sir, do you still hunt with the slayers?"

"Not unless they need me to.  Unfortunately I'm trapped by my duties here.  The slayer in DC knows she only has to call me for backup and I'd be there."

"What about the others?"

"I'd draw too much attention to most of them thanks to you guys following us like there's a leash attached to my butt.  That would only end up hurting them.  As for having to hunt?  I handle what I need to when something attacks me, I help with apocalypses, I train for apocalypses.  I made their battle plans, help the main armory person get what they need, and work with the girls I trained in Africa for a few years."

"Sir, you've been to Europe, the Middle East, and Africa for your slayer duties.  Did you go anywhere else?"

"I helped set up the house in Brazil.  It needed some construction work.  I brought my girls with me to train them in the jungle.  It's a different hunting environment and none had come from that sort of area in Africa but there are some.  That way they'd know if they had to track something there.  I helped a bit with the Asian house but that was by phone deciding the first girls going.  I helped set up the one in New Zealand for about a week but the girls had a problem and I had to head back home to help them solve it and never quite made it back."

"So you've actually done a bit of traveling."  Xander nodded.  "How do you feel about some countries making what basically amounts to a reservation area for the demon populations?"

"I'm kinda mixed.  I think it's probably safer for the peaceful demon community.  I know it's caused some problems as well since they don't all get along with each other.  I know it's because people are scared and I'm hoping that they aren't treating them badly like we treated the Native Americans when we did that to them.  I'm not sure how the community as a whole feels about it.  I know some are really pissed off.  I know some accept it because it would mean less random attacks by bigots and scared people.  Or church groups like the one in Kansas that tried to attack a demon church last week."

"Were they caught?" someone asked quickly.

"Nope.  We know who did it.  The local police aren't listening.  The FBI said it's not their job.  It's not the slayers' job because they're human supposedly.  I have the feeling if it's not settled, some hunters are going to take care of it because they've caused other problems.  I'm not waiting that patiently on that matter and I might go deal with them myself in a few days if someone doesn't.  Because I'm sure there's plenty that they've done wrong beyond that."

He sighed.  "I think the communal idea is a decent one for protection but I think it should be voluntary.  If they want to move together for safety reasons, then I'm all for it.  If they don't...  I don't think they should be pushed just because someone's scared.  Half of them have been wherever longer than the humans living there have.  I think like all other sub-groups we'll learn to get along sometime in the future.  I wish it were sooner but then again I wish bigots were a thing of the past too.  Because I hate bigots."

"Sir, were you ever gaybashed?"

"No.  I think a few would've if I wasn't known really well for weapons work."  He smiled.  "Being a bit scary means that the stupid people don't usually try me unless there's a whole lot of them."

"Is that why you got into a bar fight?"

"No.  That was over a different matter.  Those agents found AA the next day because they were spouting off stupid, drunken shit to put it bluntly."

"We heard the Director retired less than a week later."

"That night, a lot of agents took the time to tell me that things were going badly.  So I talked to more.  I talked to a lot of people in a lot of agencies.  We found some problems.  Some that John needed to help give ideas to solve, and some that the lower agents had ways to solve but the higher ups weren't listening.  Then I sat down to talk to most of them over the next few days.

"Anything too huge, I brought to John.  The more minor things I told them what I had heard, from their own people and other agencies, and why we were having that talk.   Most of them have since taken some of the ideas and used them.  Some of them have become better listeners for problems.

"The one problem in the DEA was solved by bringing in an independent source to solve, which was suggested.  It was a good thing and something that I think future presidents should have someone do to make sure their people are working their best."

"Do you think they'll elect you president?" one asked.

Xander shuddered.  "I'm not presidential material, guys.  Really.  I...  I'm much too blunt, too plain spoken, to deal with that.  Most of the other world leaders treat me like John's puppy.  The French first lady pats me on the head."  A few snickered at that.  "Honestly!  So did the Queen of England."

He shrugged.  "I'm not meant to do that.  I'm not really meant to be in the job I am in.  I've raised up to my level of idiocy to quote Murphy's second law.  After all this, I'm going to hide from all of you and play with my horse.  Please?"  He left them on that.

"Does that mean you're buying your own place?" Vin teased with an evil grin.

"Yup, I have one already."  He smiled.  "Chris knows.  He scowled for three days."

"I saw that.  I wondered why."  He walked him back to his office.  "You think they'll let you go?"

"I figure if I start begging now they'll pick someone decent like the one Jack wanted as his VP who was too young then.  Or maybe a really tough senator.  Someone else."

"Fat chance," the chief of staff said.  "None of them have stepped into apocalypse battles."

"His name is Evan Lorne, he's led sections in all the apocalypse battles and on Atlantis," John quipped from his office.  "He might kill me but he'd make a good VP, Xander."

"I hope I don't have to make that choice.  If so, maybe I'll nominate Chris.  He can scowl everyone into choosing someone else."

Chris looked up from his desk an hour later when that piece of gossip hit him.  He went to thump the boy for that.  Before he got any bad ideas.  Unfortunately he had the dogs outside playing fetch to the amusement of the press.  He'd have to wait until he came back inside.

***

Xander walked the black roses into John's office a few months later, handing them over.  John was being plagued by people who refused to learn how to get along.  "Hand them both crayons and art paper since they're acting like kindergartens?"

John looked at the black roses then at him.  "Am I dying?"

"You wish."

"Shit."  He turned on the tv and there it was for everyone to rant at.  "I won by less than O'Neill did his second term."

"Yeah," Xander said dryly.  "And we're having a rare fall apocalypse next week."  He walked off.

John put the black roses into a vase and got them some water from the bathroom.  It was sweet of Xander to try to cheer him up.  Maybe he'd treat them both like children since they were fighting that way.  World leaders could act like toddlers when the mood struck them.

***

Xander walked into the head of the ATF's office.  "Absolutely not.  They're needed in Denver.  You've already kept them there over two years when you told them a year."

"Are you unhappy with them, Mr. Harris?"

"No.  It's nice to have friends.  You're driving them nuts though."

"I can see that point but the Secret Service are more than pleased at their performance."

"And the fact that arms dealers actually moved into Denver?"

"Well...  We do have nine other teams in that office."

"Clearly not as good."

"No, but I doubt most anyone would be," he admitted.  "What have they said?"

"Nothing to me directly."  He nodded.  "But I know they're not happy in DC.  This isn't their sort of people either."

"I understand that.  I'll talk with Agent Larabee's team to see if they want to switch off."

Xander nodded.  "Thank you."  He left, going back to the White House to prepare for the funeral that was John's second swearing in ceremony.  "Hey, maybe you'll find a girlfriend," Xander said to cheer up his pouting.  "Jack did during his second term."

John looked at him.  "Don't help."

"Fine."  He went back to his office.  Buck glared at him.  "What?"

"You wanted us to go home?"

"No, I don't want you to go home, but I don't want you guys to be as miserable as you are here either."

"JD was just blowing off steam, Xander."

"No he wasn't.  Chris is ready to shoot some of the politicians.  So was Ezra the other day."  Buck nodded that was true.  "Even Nathan's had it with some of them.  You guys are miserable here.  I don't want my friends miserable."

"Fine.  We'll talk about it."  He went to talk to the others.  They had taken over the gym.  "He didn't ask to get rid of us.  He asked because he heard JD and Nathan complaining," he said as he walked in.

"That's what the director said, that we were miserable here," Chris admitted, looking around.  "Well?"

"There is a chance if we acquiesce, that we'll be here for the next twelve instead of simply the next four years," Ezra said.

Josiah shook his head.  "I don't think they'll elect the boy."

"We have a fall situation coming up in Cleveland and then the regularly scheduled one is just after the midterm elections, plus O'Neill and Sheppard's projects have been antsy about whatever they're fighting showing up.  Which would mean Xander was in charge while John went off to fight."

"He can't do that," Nathan said.  "He's the president."

"Atlantis will only respond to very strong gene carriers, and this is still classified," Chris noted.  "There's only three strong gene carriers, O'Neill, his nephew, and Sheppard."  They all moaned.  "There's a planetary seat as well.  Atlantis works best for Sheppard because he found her.  He woke her back up."

"Do we have any other gene carriers here in the White House?" Nathan asked.

Chris nodded.  "Harris is but I'm not sure how strong."  He looked around.  "The choices are we can leave him in the good hands we've trained or stay and live through another four years, if not twelve."

JD shrugged.  "I was just venting steam the other day," he said, looking miserable.

"The boy would want us to stay," Ezra pointed out.  "But right now, he's thinking along the lines of friendship.  That we're his friends and not happy, so therefore he's going to solve that issue for us."

"Your choice?" Chris asked him.

"I'm not sure.  Going back would mean I'd still be unable to be undercover.  All those heathen reporters still think I'm dating him.  I've gotten all together too much notice for any future undercover work.  That would change the team dynamic at home."

Vin shrugged.  "I'm not real comfortable among all the power players here but I do just as much good work among the poorer neighborhoods here."

Chris nodded.  "I'm damn proud of you for that too, Vin.  You've been doing a lot of good and helping the kid get out of the office to do some himself."

"Thanks, Cowboy."  He looked at Ezra.  "You'd miss all the shopping," he teased.

"Possibly but not likely.  I'm simply glad he's not a woman who has to shop for the position."  He shook his head quickly.   He looked around.  "JD?"

"I don't care," he admitted.  "I'm tired of the pushy people but really as long as you guys are here, I'm good."

Chris nodded.  "There's plenty of days I'd like the simpler threats in Denver.  The old homeplace and things."

"I sold my condo so I'd have to find a new one," Ezra said.  "But housing is looking good right now for an investment."

"I've been back home as often as I could," Vin said.  "They'll accept me back and most of 'em will help me celebrate being back."

Buck shrugged.  "I don't really like the politicians but the kid's going to run over anyone else."  Chris nodded that was true.  "And who'd arrange his closet for him?" he asked Ezra.

"He has an assistant.  I helped him pick a new one when Marta went off the deep end of sanity that day."

Nathan shrugged.  "Rain's getting a bit peeved that I'm always here but she's come out a few times too."

Josiah sighed.  "I have a few nice churches I'm working with here but I did back in Denver too.  I don't like the politicians, the same as the rest of you, but I'd hate to see what he would do to his next guard set."

Chris looked around.  "Was that a yes or a no on going home?"

"I wouldn't care to stay but there needs to be less pushy people," JD said.  "Especially about pushing him with Ezra."

"He does have an allure but I could not date him while I was guarding him.  He was correct about that."

"So I'm hearing Denver," Chris said.  Everyone shrugged.  "Want me to make it official?"

"After the swearing in," Vin ordered.  "Because that'll be the worst threat yet."

Chris nodded.  "Then we're all agreed?"  They all nodded.  "Good."

"I know Xander was thinking about retiring to Denver," JD said.  "So his horse wouldn't miss ours."

Chris smirked.  "He bought the farm up the street from me so they can escape and play together he said."  They all smiled at that.

"The one with the razor wire that used to belong to that militant yahoo?" Ezra asked.

"Yup."

"I'm sure he'll be safe there," he decided.  They all nodded and Chris went to tell the director of the ATF they had decided to go home for a bit.  Of course, they might be called back if something too horribly big happened.  You never knew what the next apocalypse would bring.

Ezra went to tell Xander.  "You knew?"

He looked up.  "That all this shit drives you as batshit as it does me?  Yup.  I'll get to visit though."

Ezra smiled.  "Of course you will.  Your mare would pout."

"I'm looking for a place to put her right now.  There's no stables in DC.  John said there are in New York."

"Yes but they're horribly small and you can't really do more than ride in the park."

"Hmm."  He shrugged.  "I don't know."  He got back to things.  "I'm scared that they're going to do it to me next."

Ezra smiled.  "If so, fake your demise?"

Xander grinned.  "Don't tempt me."

"I won't."  He smiled as he walked off.  They'd see plenty of him over the next few months plus whenever he ran away to work on his new house.  He went to find Chris.  "He needs to find somewhere to put Companion."

"True.  Hadn't thought about that."  He went to help the kid look.  Good stable space was hard to find anywhere near a city.

***

The fall apocalypse went off without too much damage.  Though Xander ended up on crutches for the time he nearly had to cut his own foot off to get the kraken tentacle off it.  He had many too many stitches at this point in time.  Doctor Lam had yelled at him for an hour about that move but it had worked and the kraken had died shortly afterward from blood/ichor loss.  Of course it was snowy in DC this time of year so Xander's guards got to catch him all too often when he slipped on the ice.  The press was having a field day with that.  He hoped they were healed by the swearing in but that was over a month away.

Xander had to finish Christmas shopping first.  Buck was with him since he had to buy for Ezra and JD.  Of course the press was there so he got to growl too.  He really missed painkillers that worked on him.  Advil wasn't even cutting the ache of falling so many times or the stitches pulling.  He got to growl at the woman who tried to trip him and the two that ran into him.  Then the one that nearly tripped over him.  That one had kicked his bad leg so she got an extra special growl.  She fled the store too.

Buck patted him on the arm.  "Quit growling like your dogs, Xander," he said quietly.  "You wanted to come out."

"I have to finish my shopping."  He pouted as he found something neat for JD.  He held it up, getting a nod from Buck.  He'd play with the robotic kit if the kid didn't.  Ezra was harder to shop for but Xander knew he had a weakness so he went to the pastry shop and got him a lot of very good pastry shipping for the next few months.  Plus an expensive, highly recommended bottle of wine.  Buck dropped the boy at home and went to Chris's place.  "He's wrapping the last two," he announced as he walked in.

"Who did he splurge on?" JD called.  "We saw he was in the toy store and the pastry shop."

"You got something neat and Ezra's getting the expensive one.  I guess that suits him."  Ezra gave him a dirty look.  "It's something that'll give you a lot of good moments though.  Worth it according to the salesguy."  He sat down.  "Is Companion still hating her new stall space?"

"Yup.  Xander came out to play with her last night and she nearly bit him for it.  I think she might be in heat though."  He shifted to lay down on the couch.  "She'll get used to it."

"If you're sure."

"I'm positive.  Regan had a horse there secretly."  They all smirked at that.  Blossom was there too.  They were next to each other even.  Just cranky together.

***

John looked at the two cranky horses and sighed, making a good decision for them.  They were pets, they needed some good care.  He called his assistant.  "Chuck, buy it."  He hung up.  He took Blossom out to exercise her.  Xander showed up to exercise Companion, who was still cranky with him.  She even tried to bite him again.  John stared at her until she put her head down.  "Try it now."

Xander put on her headpiece again and petted her.  "I know you're not happy.  I'm looking."

"I'm buying somewhere," John said quietly.  "You can pay me rent for her."

"I think they miss the others."

"Probably.  Horses are herd animals," John said.  He climbed up into the saddle, walking Blossom up to the practice ring.

Xander looked at her.  "Pretty soon we'll be in Denver so you can see your herdmates.  I promise."  He put on her saddle.  She tried to walk off but he had tied her to the post this time.  He moved with her, finally getting it on her.  He mounted and untied her, walking her up to the practice ring.  She didn't want to go 'round in circles but oh well.  She needed the exercise.  He needed the calming time.  He and John shared a look.  "Country ride?"

"Yup.  I'll arrange it."  He nudged Blossom into going a bit faster.  Nope, she didn't want to.  Companion didn't want to either.  He sighed, looking at them.  "Let's go outside."

"Sir, it's snowing," one of the guards said.  "You can't."

Xander snorted, walking Companion that way.  He got the door open and rode her outside.  She was a bit happier out there.  Blossom got a bit more lively too.  The guards got huffy but they didn't really care.  They had an outside practice ring.  The horses hated it but they were happy to be outside for a bit.  Eventually Companion started to shiver so Xander brought her in to warm her up.  "There, how's that?" he asked, laying the warmed blanket over her back.  The stall cleaner came over.  "Is her stall cleaned?"

"Yes, sir."

Xander led her that way then came back to grab him by the back of his hair and walk him back there.  "That is not clean," he said bluntly.  "That is really fucking filthy."  He let him go, watching him run off.  "John, find the manager when you come down," he called.  The manager came down huffy.  Xander pointed.  "Your person said that was considered clean?"

He looked and sighed.  "It's not, but you shouldn't have grabbed him, sir."

Xander stared at him.  "I can shoot him if you want.  I hate it when people fuck with me."

"No, that's fine.  I'll have someone come clean it."  He hurried off.  The vice president always seemed so much nicer in the press.

Xander looked at his horse, who nibbled his hair.  "I agree.  How about a good curry combing since they've clearly fallen down on that too."  He got the comb and removed the blanket to work on her coat.  "Yeah, that's happy making."  John dismounted next to him.  "Check the stall."

"I did and I'm disgusted.  Did you threaten him?"

"I grabbed the cleaner guy by the hair.  When the manager complained I offered to shoot him instead for fucking with me."

"You so need laid, Xander."

"Yeah, well, I have uptight guards who won't even let me go to the discreet club."  He went back to combing.  "She has knots."

"I got a few out of Blossom's coat earlier.  This is really not a good place."

"We're the best stable space in this city," the manager huffed as he walked down.

"Then the stables would be clean, my horse wouldn't have knots, and they might not be cranky," Xander told him.  He went back to combing out the knots.  "Better?"  His horse pawed the ground and got happier with him.  "Where are you getting?" he asked quietly.

"Don't worry about it," John said with a wink.  He finished up with Blossom, going to clean the stable himself if he had to.  Fortunately the stall cleaners were working.  John put Blossom in then helped Xander with the coat combing.  She really did have some knots.  The stall cleaner got to come back for Companion's stall since half the hay was still damp and smelled like piss.  They left and John called the Humane Society.  The other owners there had to know.

He went to sign papers on the farm that Chris had rented.  It was nicely cheap since it was a seizure property.  It was a perk of the job.  He sent someone out to move the horses there and got comfortable.  Xander had secretly bought a condo that had been seized and was flipping it once he did some work to upgrade it.  It was a good hobby when he had nothing to do.

***

John looked up as Landry and Evan Lorne beamed into his office.  "Did I screw up enough that you're here to take me out?"

"No.  We have a wraith hive spotted about two light years out, Colonel," Landry said.

Earth to Atlantis.

John looked up as Landry and Evan Lorne beamed into his office.  "Did I screw up enough that you're here to take me out?"

"No.   We have a wraith hive spotted about two light years out, Colonel," Landry said.

John nodded.  "Are we launching Atlantis today?"

"Yes," Evan said.  "Estimates say it'll be here by the end of the week."

"Do you need me to launch it?"

"Yes," Evan said.

"Okay.  Xander!" he bellowed.  "Chuck!"  They both came running.  "Wraith ships were spotted.  It'll be here by the end of week."

"Go, good luck," Xander ordered.  He walked out.  He made a few calls then went to the Press Room.  Two Senators, the Speaker of the House, and the head of the Secret Service met him there.  "C'mon."  He walked in.  "People.  Sit and shut it."  He looked around the room.  The others walked in.  "Today, we have been notified that something we have been training for has occurred."  He looked at the senators and others.  "General Landry has reported that a single wraith hive is near our solar system."

The senators stiffened and one nodded.  "For that incident, John Sheppard is the only one that can fly Atlantis."  Xander looked at the press people.  "He is leaving tonight to defend us all.  I, along with all of you I'm sure, wish him good luck and a safe return."  He looked at the higher ups again.  "As of this moment, he is unable to do his duties until he can return.  That should be by next Monday."  He looked at the head of the Secret Service.  "I'm authorizing you to go to the standby stage of the evacuation procedures you and General O'Neill built."

"Can't O'Neill go to the ship?" one reporter asked.

Xander looked at her.  "We have a defense chair down here on earth and that is General O'Neill's position.  It's in a classified location.  You guys couldn't get there to distract him anyway but you definitely won't be upsetting him right now."  He looked at the slayer that walked in.  "Slayer Rona, please pass back the word to all the slayers to be on alert in case something unethical decides to take advantage of this attack, or God forbid, we have one that manages to get through.  Wraith aren't human and slayers are able to deal with them."

"Yes, Xander.  We have plans for that."  He nodded.  She left.

Xander looked at the rest of them.  "We all wish him a safe return, I know we do.  I'm going to be here, in public, doing whatever I need to do to make sure we're all protected."

"Sir, if you have to get out of public, you'll have to move fast," the head of the Secret Service said.

Xander nodded.  "I'm aware of that.  I know it would be precautionary because I know John won't let anything happen to any of us."  He looked around.  "So, don't cause a panic.  Don't worry overly much.  Just be aware that things are going to be tense for the next week.  Atlantis being in space means that they won't get near this solar system at all."  They nodded and started to call their news desks.  "Again, do not cause a panic, people.  We don't need that."  He walked off.  He looked at the Senators.  "Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir.  When?" the Speaker of the House asked.

"End of the week."

"So he'll probably be back and not in a good mood, or we'll be hearing he's in the infirmary on base for a few days," he decided.  They left to brief their people.

The head of the Secret Service looked at him.  "We might have to cut your guard to get all higher ups out of harm's way."

"Agreed.  If I have to, I can call in a favor or handle myself."  He nodded and walked off to call his people in for a meeting.  Xander took a deep breath and went to look at John.  "You'd better come back or my asskicking will seem unpleasant compared to the wraith feeding I saw."

John smiled and gave him a hug.  "Good job.  Hold steady, Xander."

"Come home soon, John.  They'll probably panic a lot, you know that."  He nodded and they beamed out, Chuck going with them since he was the best at helping Atlantis.

Xander looked around then started calling other world leaders.  "It's Xander Harris," he said.  "We have a world-wide emergency."  He got put through to the PM of England.  "It's Xander."  He sat down behind the big desk.  "No, there was a wraith ship spotted on the edge of the solar system.  John's left to Atlantis.  Make sure we don't have a panic.  They shouldn't be able to land.  They've fought it for years."

He nodded.  "We need a contact list.  Who are you willing to get so everyone hears?"  He made his own list, crossing out a few.  "Okay, I'll take those on mine.  You get Russia first to get their allies?"  He smiled.  "Thank you."  He hung up and called the French.  "It's Vice President Xander Harris.  I need to talk to your President.  Now.  As in it's an emergency.  Yes," he sighed.  "You mean like the wraith?"  He got put through.  "On the edge of the solar system.  We're already on it, but ..."

He listened.  "No, John's on Atlantis.  That's his spot.  O'Neill has the planetary chair.  We'll be safe but we still need to be on standby.  Without causing a panic.  Yes I have.  So our people could go on alert."  He listened to him complain.  "I have to call ten other world leaders in the next hour."

He heard the spluttering.  "That's why I'm calling you," he said bluntly.  "So you know that it's a possible massive threat to your people and you can take steps to protect your people.  Yeah."  He smiled.  "Exactly.  They're on my list, China and India are on the English PM's list."  He made a note of who he was calling.  "Please.  Thank you."  He hung up.  This was going to be a long week.

***

In Colorado, Chris watched the news briefing and nodded.  "Guys, the wraith are close.  Get Travis to find out where we're helping the city."  Buck ran up to talk to him.  The others gathered to watch the news.  AD Travis walked in.  "Where are we stationed to help the city not panic?"

"I need most of you here.  One of you needs to go ride herd on the VP because all his are off gathering the other important people."

Chris looked around.  "Buck."  He nodded and went to grab things so he could fly to DC.  "The rest of us?"

Travis pointed at a map of the city.  "Chris, you're in charge of this section.  Vin and you guys are known in Purgatorio.  Keep it from becoming a riot."  Chris and Vin nodded.   "You have these two precincts as yours."  He tapped them.  "Go today to coordinate how you want to deploy."

"Understood.  Boys."  They walked out together, heading down to the police stations to get their commanders into the talk.  Purgatorio was the bad section of town and they had to keep it calm.  The rich wouldn't riot, they'd hide.  The poor would panic and riot.

Travis went to tell the city council who was assigned where to help.  The FBI was doing the same thing but they'd leave Chris alone since Chris couldn't stand them.  The people would listen to Vin so they'd have less problems.

***

Dawn watched the news and looked over.  "Dean!"  He came jogging over to listen over her shoulder.  "We should warn the others.  The slayers will be called if they get close enough since they're not human."

"I'll start the calling tree," he promised, finding his cellphone to start that.  "Bobby, Dean.  Get as many of us on a conference call as you can or have them watch the news.  Yeah, wraith aren't human.  They're human feeders, off energy from what we got told."  He listened, starting to pace.  "The slayers are probably going on alert in case one makes it down here."

"LA's going to have riots," Sam said quietly.  "The rich will flee, the poor people will riot and loot."

Dean repeated that, nodding.  "Please do.  Yeah, let's put everyone on paranoid bastard status.  Sounded like the end of the week?"  Dawn was texting and nodded at that.  "If you need us elsewhere, you let us know."  He hung up.  "We good?"

"I've already talked to the detective we liaison with.  She said she'd keep us in mind in case the demon community got frisky.  We're to go warn them tonight."  They nodded and grabbed her jacket, walking out with them.  Gunn's present girlfriend and Connor could watch the babies.  Dawn walked into the most popular bar.  Dean and Sam were picking other places.  "Listen up!" she shouted.  Everyone went silent.  "They just announced wraith are near our solar system."  She looked around.  "They're launching Atlantis today."  That got a few nods.  "We're expecting panicking."

"We won't worry, but if one gets here even the paranoid hunters will have help," one demon assured her.  He was on the city council.

"Dean and Sam are at other spots warning them.  Pass it around.  If LA gets a problem, I'm hoping it's from the humans instead.  We know someone's dumb enough to try to use this to make a move."  That got a few snickers.  "We're just as worried so let's stay calm?"

Everyone nodded.  "We will do what we can," the bar's owner assured her.  "Are your children being sent to Cleveland?"

"No.  If we have to, there's a safe spot for them to hide."  He nodded with a smile for her.  "So let's make sure everyone hears, no one has any bright ideas, and that if the humans do start to riot that we either help calm it down or hide from them?"  Everyone nodded.  "Thanks, guys."  She left, going to another spot.

The city council member looked around.  "She's right.  We're going to stay calm and out of it.  Those of us who have apocalypse duties or arsenals give them a look over today or tomorrow.  Make sure we have food stores for at least a week.  If the wraith make it here, it won't take that long to eat them.  Remember, they are energy feeding creatures from what we've heard thanks to the briefing the slayers got.  They feed with their hands."

Everyone nodded, looking pissed off.  "I'm not sure if they can eat us or not.  Gorm never ran into one so he couldn't tell us.  Just make sure LA stays safe and the horde of slayers don't have to quit being scared to come here."  They broke off to talk to the others, go grocery shopping, or check weapons.

This might be very bad.

***

The day the reports from Landry said they were in attack distance, Xander felt an itch.  He wasn't sure why.  It was getting bad.  He was scratching his arms.  Buck was giving him a worried look.  "I don't know," he said quietly.  Finally it was driving him nuts.  He concentrated on his mind, working himself down into the meditative state.  That's when the beam hit him.

He opened his eyes in a water-logged room, wondering how he was breathing.  He touched his neck to find gills, freaking out slightly.  He didn't want to be the first and only fishy VP!  The water slowly lowered around him and he gasped a few times until his body remembered to breathe like a human.  He panted, looking around.  "Shit, what're you?" he demanded.  A light lit up in the hallway.

"Am I supposed to follow it?"  Atlantis was alive, John had said so.  This looked suspiciously alien to him.  The light blinked so he followed.  It led him to a room with a huge, odd looking chair.  "Thank God," he whispered, sitting down.  The city's status ran through his mind.  "Okay, baby girl.  We can go.  What's your name?"  The name didn't come but he could go.  He concentrated.  He was a geek, he knew physics.  "I need Andrew from Cleveland.  He's at the slayer house."  He pictured him.  He appeared and squeaked.  "Andrew, this is a city like Atlantis.  I need a geek."

"Sure, Xander."  He patted the wall.  "We'll figure out which one you are later."

"Andrew, go do the physics stuff."  He jogged off to find it with the city's help.  Xander ran over the flight capabilities.  He called.  "Buck, I'm fine.  There's another city.  It brought me."  He hung up.  The ship lurched.  He dropped down into his mind.  That made it easier to interface.  "Okay," he agreed.  "Let's go.  We have wraith coming, dear."  The city lurched and he found out why.   "Andrew, retract the landing stuff.  Make us ready for space flight."  He waited until it all cleared.  One more lurch then they lifted off.

The rest of the water drained out.  "Hey, we must be Brigadoon."  The ship flashed.  "Nice to meet you too, dear.  Let's go up by Atlantis.  Do we have weapons?  Show me how to use 'em."  He got that flashed into his head.  "Okay, we can do that."  He relaxed into the chair, letting it take him over for now.  They uncloaked next to Atlantis.  He heard the panicked calls.  "Guys, it said its name is Brigadoon."

"Xander?" John demanded.

"Yup, and Andrew.  I bummed from Cleveland.  He's the biggest geek I know.  I'm told we have weapons and are ready."  He took a deep breath and calmed himself.  "I'm seeing warning dots.  Ah!  Okay," he said once the ship explained it.  "Treat me like I'm really young please, dear.  That way I can handle it."  He let the city take him over and it was easier.  He did what she wanted and it was going to help.

On Atlantis, John was ready to bang his head against something.  "Rodney, that city is Brigadoon.  Xander said it has weapons.  He borrowed Andrew from Cleveland.  Make sure they're ready."  He heard the swearing in Czech.  "Radek, go be their engineer!  Now!  Take O'Neill with you!"  Jon O'Neill went with the engineering team and the others to guard the city.

Andrew smiled when people ran in.  "I've calibrated the shield so it'll hold out energy weapons based on the strength that we know about in Star Trek, because you didn't tell us how strong theirs were.  I have this set up here," he said with a point.  "And I'm pretty sure that's a power bar."

Radek looked at him.  "At least you are not helpless geek.  Monitor his health.  City could ruin him."

"I've got that," O'Neill ordered.  "Guy, whoever you are...."

"Andrew.  I'm the Council's housemother and a bigger geek than Xander."

"Okay then," he decided.  "C'mon, we need a flight officer."  He took him to teach him how to monitor things.  Xander had the defense well in hand.  Jon heard the squeak and went to look.  "What?"

"We have another city ship."

"City ship, identify yourself please," Jon called.

"I believe she said her name was Archaic.  I don't know if that's the name of her people or her," Ezra said.  "I have no idea what I'm seeing beyond the fact she's showing me how to use the weapons."

"Okay," Jon said.  "Radek, I need two of you."  The city stole Andrew.  "And me."  He went to gather them and they got beamed over from the ship.  "For the record, who're you?" Jon asked the guy in the chair.

"Ezra Standish.  ATF out of Denver."

"Okay," he agreed.

"You guarded Xander," Andrew said with a grin.  "Made him quit wearing sloppy shirts."  He went to take back up his job.  The others headed to the engineering section.  Jon went to help Ezra since he had no idea what he was doing.  Jon could be the pinch hitter for whichever chair needed him.

***

John, after the battle was done, was ready to pass out.   He sat the chair up.  "We blocked communication?"

"We did," Rodney said.  Keller was checking him over.  "The other cities?"

"Ezra's lost the shield but everyone got beamed to the other one."  He blinked at Keller.  "Xander?"

"They're fine.  Lam's over there," she said quietly.  She helped him up.  "Let's get you a long meal in the infirmary, Colonel."  She walked him that way with Rodney's help.  She called to check on Lam's patients.  "How are they?"  She smiled.  "Xander's fussing with the city.  He wants a twinkie.  Ezra agreed with him.  So did Andrew.  Jon's groaning in misery but they can handle it."

"I'll get on the other cities to check them over," Rodney assured John.  He got teams moving to do that.  He went to join one, heading to the non-working city once he had on a space suit.  He thought at the city, making it hum.  "Low power?" he guessed, heading for that part of the city.  No, it had two full ZPM's.  They hadn't switched when necessary.  He got that fixed and the shield flowed up around them.  He broke the seal on his hood, taking a careful breath.  "Good."  He ran a diagnostic and it was showing some strain.  "We'll land you in a minute," he assured her.  Jon got beamed over.  "We need to land her.  She's got structural problems."

"Going to the chair," he promised.  "Where are we landing her?"

"By Sunnydale.  It's clear, no people that could get splashed if you're not delicate.  It's on the ocean."  He followed him to the chair room to run the diagnostic in there.  It was working well.  "What's her name?"

"Archaic, like her people."  He frowned, concentrating on the landing.  "McKay, you're making it wobbly."  He quit checking the system he was on.  Jon landed the city and it settled in, extending the docks and lowering the shields.  "No, let's keep the shields up so no one can board you yet without our permission."  The shield changed.  Landry got beamed in.  "General."

"O'Neill."  He looked around.  "Mythical people that lived in the Utah badlands and canyons pre-Anasazi according to Doctor Jackson."

"I think she was built after Atlantis," Rodney said.  He finished up.  "We're looking good but we have some structural issues."  He stood up.  "The other is Brigadoon."

"Like the musical?" Landry asked.  They nodded.  "Interesting."  They got beamed over there.  Xander was being squealed at by Andrew.  Ezra was calming himself down.  Xander was too.  Landry coughed.  "Mr. Wells."  He calmed down.  "Calm down, go debrief with Miss Rosenburg."  He pointed.  Andrew bounced over to talk to her.  She babbled back.  "Gentlemen," he said.

Xander looked at him.  "No clue, General.  I was in the White House.  I was handling things.  Then I started to itch."

Ezra nodded.  "As did I.  It was a pernicious itch all over.  Then there was a flash of light."

"Which was the beaming," Xander said.  He looked at Carolyn Lam.  "We have to talk anyway since somehow I ended up with gills for a few minutes.  She was under water.  I nearly freaked out for a few hours."

She checked his neck.  "They're closed," she promised with a smile.  "We can work on it and see why, Xander.  Calm down."  He gave her a dirty look.  "Fine, try to calm down."  She checked Ezra over.  "You'll be fine.  Nothing more than a bit of a high pulse rate."

"Yes, the shield dropping nearly caused my demise."  He looked at Xander, who gave him a hug.  "Thank you, Xander."

"Welcome, Ezra, and you did good."  He let him go, looking at the doctors.  "We need to land her."

"She goes near DC for right now," John said as he appeared.  "Archaic landed by Sunnydale so there was no danger to any group of people."  He got into the chair and got her to land near DC.  He noted where she should be but that was fine with him.  They'd investigate it to make sure it was all right first.  He put the shield up and settled in to let Rodney run diagnostics here.  He went back to Atlantis to land her.

They all went back to the White House, beaming onto the lawn.  A few of the agents cheered.  They walked inside, John smiling and waving.  "Xander, smile and wave," he muttered.  Xander waved, looking exhausted.  He fell asleep as soon as he sat down.  Ezra wasn't much better.  "All right," John decided.  He went to the waiting press people.  He smiled at the cheers and claps.  "Thank you."

"Sir, there were other cities!"

"Yes.  Thanks to the wraith being so close, we found out that there were a few cities down here waiting on us to fight them."

"Was the VP in one?"

"Yes.  He got beamed by the city itself to help it launch and help us fight.  He was in Brigadoon actually."  That got silence.  He smiled.  "The other I'm told is called Archaic.  General Landry's people are going over them to make sure they're going to be fine, don't pose a hazard to people, are able to be safely studied.  We'll let other scientists study them as we find them safe."

"Sir, was Brigadoon near England?"

"Scotland, not England.  I know there's a small base there for her to interface with.  We'll be helping them check it over before we let her go back there.  She was underwater for a while."

"Is the VP all right?"

"He fell asleep in a chair once he sat down."

"Who was flying the other city?" another reporter asked.

"That's classified for now.  Until we debrief him and all that."  He pointed.  "You look anxious.  What?"

"Sir, the wraith?  Are they gone?"

"We blocked communications so they couldn't tell the rest of them we're here.  We blew them into bits and pieces.  Two soldiers lost their lives defending Atlantis when a wraith dart managed to land.   We blew them apart too."  They all smiled.  "As of right now, the threat is over with.  We'll keep watching for other threats but we think this was an isolated hive that was out exploring.  We'll be watching the rest of this galaxy for more incursions."

He stepped back.  "Relax, it's over with, people.  Thank you to all who kept things calm and stood ready to help us if necessary."  He left, going back to his office.  Ezra was snoring slightly.  Xander had shifted toward his snoring in his chair.   He smiled at Landry.  "Usually Xander bounces around here."

"I've seen him."  Jack O'Neill got beamed in.  "Your post good?"

"It's fine."  He smiled.  "They didn't do bad."

John nodded.  "Not bad at all."  He looked at Andrew.  "How did you get there?"

"Xander."

"Figures," John agreed.

Jack snickered.  "You knew anyway."

"Yup."  He beamed.  "It was super cool.  Nearly as good as the birthday present of helping teach the Jedi way."

Landry looked at him.  "You can't talk about it."

"So?"

"Fine," he sighed, shaking his head.

"He's used to PhD geeks instead of regular geeks, Andrew," John said.  Andrew grinned.  "Jack, is it back on standby?"

"Yup."

"Good."  His phone rang.  He answered it.  "Sheppard."  He listened.  "No, we'll need to check the outpost out first, make sure it won't explode or anything.  Then we'll return it to the dock, Prime Minister Cole.  Probably a few days.  We need to check the city over, do diagnostics, all that to make sure it's safe.  Then we'll check the outpost and put it back.  Yes, that would be a good person to put in charge of it.  He was formerly SGC.  He knew about Atlantis.  We'll be fine with that.

"Let us scan it to compare against Atlantis' systems to make sure nothing's going wrong.  Of course.  Give me a week and I'll give you a report on what we know about."  He smiled.  "That's fine.  After we have these three looked over, we'll see if any other cities are down here.  Yes, Prime Minster Cole, they're all tiny pieces floating toward the sun."  He nodded again.  "That was what I wanted him to do without creating a panic.  Which was what he did.  Thank you.  Be safe and it'll be fine now."  He hung up and looked at Landry.

"I'll have the engineering teams go over both of them starting tonight and with that one."

"Thank you.  There's an outpost."

"Of course.  Who did they want?"

"Serens.  Rodney ranted that he had retired a few times."

"He was a good man from what I remember.  He left when O'Neill was in command."

Jack nodded.  "He wasn't bad.   He and Carter do not get along though.  He's a bit 'women don't belong in science or the military'."  He sat down.  "Did we fix things so we weren't panicking anymore?"

"Yeah, I announced I was back."  The Speaker of the House walked into his office.  "Good afternoon."

He smirked.  "People worried that him disappearing meant that the demons were going to try something too."

"No, the City of Brigadoon called him."

"Where is it?"

"Off our coast."  He nodded.  "I'm back and capable of returning to duty as of now."

"Thank you, Mr. President.  He didn't do too badly."

John smiled.  "Or in the battle.  Even though he had no idea how to do that beyond being a geek."

He looked.  "It's nice his boyfriend was helping."

"Ezra was in command of the other city but a malfunction happened that made it lose its shield," Jack told him.

"Oh!"  He blinked a few times.

"Beyond that, they're not dating," John told him.  "Or so they tell me."  He nodded and left.  John took a deep breath, looking at the napping people.  "Someone check on Xander's dogs."

"They're here, sir," one of the guards reported.  "That way they were protected and able to be walked."  He looked.  "Should I call Larabee?"

"I will."  The guard nodded, closing the door after himself.  A few minutes later the dogs rushed in to be petted by them all.

Landry smiled, petting one of them.  "They're good dogs."

"They're excellent dogs."  He called Chris's phone.  "It's John Sheppard.  Ezra is here and napping.  He's fine.   No, the city did just fine, it beamed him out before he got hurt, it's all right.  Napping.  Xander too," he assured him.  "I could use one myself but I'm sure I've got Generals stomping my way.  Thanks, Chris."  He hung up.

The dogs growled at the generals stomping in.  "Down," one snarled.

"Are you snaked?" Jack asked, sounding fondly tolerant.

"No, sir."  He looked at him.  "O'Neill.  Sheppard."  He looked at the snoring ones.  "They got worn out?"

"The chair can wear you out when you're not used to it," John said.  He smiled.  "They're in tiny specks heading for a sun."

"Good," the general in the lead said.  "Where are the cities?"

"Archaic is by Sunnydale so landing wouldn't splash anyone living near there.  The other is temporarily by DC."

"Why temporarily?" the other general asked.  The dog was still growling at him.  "What, mutt?"

"That's Xander's dog, General, I wouldn't be that aggressive," Jack noted.  "Pappa."  He came over to get petted.  "The city has an outpost in the UK somewhere.  We agreed it would be fine to put it under former SG people over there.  They're not going to attack us."

"So we're just handing over such problematic technology?" he demanded.  The other dog growled.  He glared.

Xander blinked at him.  "Glare at my dog again and I'm kicking your fucking white ass, General Stick-Up-His-Ass."  He backed down.  "Thank you.  I'm trying to fucking nap after saving the planet."  He straightened up, looking at his dogs.  "Good puppies."  They panted and let him pet them.  "Good puppies."  He got them calmed down then looked at them.  "She belongs there.  They're allies.  Why are you fussing?"

"They could use it against us," the nicer general said.

"England?" he asked dryly.  "Really?  Not like it's Iran."  The general huffed.  "Also, it's going under people we trust."

"This should be a Pentagon decision.  The SGC is a military asset," the general in the lead said.

"We have more civilians than military people," Landry said.

"Hank, do you want to keep your job?" that general asked.

Xander muttered something and took off his necklace, looking at him.  The man gaped, backing up against a wall.  "Knew it.  I knew you weren't a demon before so drop it."  The shape changers both dropped it.  "Where are they?"

"There are harmful demons there that could be a problem."

"We have former SGC people there," John said.  "They'll be over it.  I wouldn't worry and if I catch you impersonating another being ever again I'll slay you myself."  They nodded and fled.  He looked at Xander.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  He smirked.  "Let me get him to the house."  He stood up and stretched, wincing at the cracks and pops.  "Ow, but better."  He looked at Jack.  "Need me?"

"No, Xander.  Good job."

"Don't give me a medal.  I don't want his job."  He nudged Ezra.  "Let's go home."  He nodded.  "You can have the newly decorated guest room."  He got up and stretched as well.  They walked out with the dogs.  "Guys, heading home," Xander ordered.  "Come drive."   One of the guards helped them into the official SUV with the dogs and drove them home.  There were already press people out front.  The guards cleared them an entrance and they wobbled in to nap.  The dogs spent some time with Ezra then went to sleep with their human.  They'd get up sometime tomorrow.

***

John stood up to make the speech everyone wanted him to make.  Xander blinked at his tv starting itself.  He moaned and grunted inquisitively.  No one else was in there though.  "My tv is possessed," he told the dog, who licked his face.  "I love you too."  He laid there watching it.  John looked poised, calm, and well rested.  Xander probably looked like hell.  He felt like hell.  The other dog padded in with Ezra following carrying two cups.  "Mm, thank you, Ezra."  He took his own.

Ezra sat down to watch the news conference.  "He looks much more healthy than I feel."

"Me too," Xander agreed, sipping his coffee.  They settled in to watch him calm people down.  "I told them not to panic."

"Most of them I know didn't.  Unless they did it after we got beamed or whatever."  Xander nodded.  The dogs barked so they petted them.  "This is a good way to wake up."

"Should've went to the other place."

"Other place?"

"I bought somewhere I'm fixing up."

"Hmm.  Good."  He sipped his coffee.  "How are the horses?"

"We had to move them.  John turned them in to the Humane Society people."  He yawned, glaring when the dog tried to lick his tongue.  "Thank you."  He petted him.  The mother dog was patting Ezra's leg while she got petted.  Xander finished his coffee and settled in again.  "I wonder how many reporters are out there now?"

Ezra lifted up some to look.  "There's a good many."  He relaxed again.  John was calming everyone down.  He was giving a good performance.  Ezra looked over at the first snore, shaking his head but smiling.  He laughed when John said Xander said not to reward him but he was going to do it anyway, groaning when he was noted as well.  "That is not necessary," he complained quietly, petting the dog.  She was more than happy to be petted.  He heard someone on the stairs.  "Who's there?"

"Me," JD said, coming in.  "Are you all right?  You caused Chris to nearly die from the heart attack this time, Ezra.  He told me if you're all right I'm to paddle you until you beg for your life."  He smiled.  "Awww."

"I brought him coffee.  It wasn't enough."  He yawned.  "I'll go back to my own bed in a moment."

"I thought this was your bed."  Ezra gave him a dirty look.  JD smiled.  "We all agreed, it's cute how you make him shop."

Ezra looked at the dog.  "If I ask, would you bite him for me please?"  She growled at the human.  JD snickered and petted her.  "Go away, JD."

"Sure, I'll make lunch for when you guys get up."  He bounced off.  The dogs followed since he had said the word 'lunch'.  Ezra shook his head, getting up with a small moan and going back to his bed.  He was still exhausted.

Downstairs JD was babbling at Chris while feeding the dogs.  "No, they were watching the news conference.  Ezra swears he's sleeping in another room, Chris.  Even shuffled off to go sleep in another bed when I mentioned it."  He smiled at the dogs.  "Good dogs."  He petted them both, made sure the back door was open for them to go out and use the yard, then went to check the front gate.

"No, we're covered in reporters," he said.  "There's no way we can sneak them out later.  I don't know, he hasn't called yet."  He walked into the office.  "Let me check the caller ID.  "Hmm.  Colorado area code called twice.  One from New York, one from the local area code.  And the White House."  He called that one back, putting it on his other ear.

"It's ATF Agent Dunn.  I'm here with the VP and Agent Standish.  No, we're covered in reporters.  They're both asleep, still worn out from whatever.  Yeah, I'm here feeding the dogs.  Thanks but we should be fine as long as the gate gets uncovered.  Yup, that's me.  No, I have Larabee on the other line."  He listened then switched.  "Chris, the comm officer at the White House said that Xander's guards are scared of him again.  Sure, I'll tell Ezra that and be back in a bit.  Well, the President did say something about rewarding them," he said dryly.

"Thanks, Chris."  He hung up.  "Chris said he'd leave Ezra here for a bit and I have to stay until they're ready to wake up again.   Yeah, list me here please.  No, I haven't seen the housekeeper and I doubt she could get through the reporters."  He looked outside.  "We have a gate breech with a reporter and the alarm didn't go off.  Because one's taking pictures in the window."

He hung up and went out to arrest that one for trespassing.  The dogs came out to growl and snap at the others.  Most of the reporters ran off.  JD got them all arrested and found the gate guards had switched off without warning and had left a single, overloaded one there.  "What happened to the alarm?" he demanded.

"I don't have the code, sir."

"When did you graduate the academy!" he demanded.  He knew he was young but this guy was making him feel ancient.

"My supervising agent said to man the gate house, sir."

"Uh-huh."  He walked in and turned on the alarm.  It went off.  "I'm going to arrest everyone who crossed the gate for terrorizing the Vice President and endangering his safety!" he shouted over the intercom.   "Unless the reporters leave NOW!"  A few ran off.  A few more didn't so he went to arrest them.  Then he called the comm officer to chew him a new one and then Chris to confess he had lost his temper and chewed someone a new one.

***

John walked back into his office, looking at the agent in there.  "You look sheepish, why?"

"I didn't know Dunn had a temper, sir."

"He probably does.  Why?"

"Apparently the Vice President's house was left partially unguarded."

John stared at him.  "If you're telling me your agents cut and run, I'd fucking fix it today," he said firmly.  "Before I wade in and start kicking asses."  He nodded and went to do that.  He called Xander's house, getting a dog barking.  "Hey, Momma.  Get JD?"  The dog's bark moved away from the phone.  He held up a hand when his chief of staff came in.  "JD, how bad is it?"  He listened.  "I'll fucking kill someone, JD.  Can you handle it?  Thank you.  Yeah, soon."  He hung up.  "Chuck, get my head of security in here NOW."  He looked at his chief of staff.  "The guards left one very new guard without the gate code on his fence."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah."

"There's no way.  I'll get the director here for you to chew on, sir.  Um, you need a new director of Homeland."

"Get me candidates."  He handed over the list.  "Sorted by?"

"Preference of others.  He quit earlier because he couldn't handle this level of threat."

"It's not his job.  It's Homeworld's job."

"He quit on air."

"Pity for him."  His head of Security walked in.  "How dare you leave the Vice President uncovered!  He can't move right now!  I spent three damn days after my first battle from a chair in the infirmary napping off the way it sucked my strength!  You left him so uncovered they had a gate breach with a newbie agent, who didn't have the gate code!"  His head of security flinched.  "I don't give a damn what they *feel* like.  If they're scared of him, whatever!  You do the fucking job or you're fucking fired and I'll make sure your director blackballs all of them and you!"

"Yes, sir," he said firmly, going to chew on the agents.  John would kill him in a sparring match.  He could make his way through all the guards and not really break a sweat.  There was no way he was going to piss him off this year.

John glared at his chief of staff when he hung up.  "And?"

"Within an hour, sir, and I told him why.  He threw something in his office while on the phone with me."  He smiled.  "He said to tell you he's very sorry and if you feel better by kicking his ass so be it.  He did suggest that they move Mr. Harris and everything to the apartment we aren't supposed to know he has."

"You can't do that with how many people are outside his gate."  He looked over at his doorway.  "The ship's not in range to beam him out."

"That's fine, sir."  He went to warn the others that John was now in a bad mood and they were all going to get a foot up their asses.

John glared at the director as he walked in.  "Did it get fixed?"

"Yes, sir, there's now six agents there helping Agent Dunn arrest reporters, getting the too-new agent on the gate calmed back down because he was nearly panicking, and they've secured the house.  The dogs nearly bit one but otherwise they're fine and know not to wake him up."

"Good.  The others?"

"They're already fired if they haven't quit.  A few did quit.  I don't know why yet but I'll be finding out and they will not be getting any more jobs in this government."  John nodded at that, smiling some.  "Are they coming back, sir?"

"I don't think so."

"It might do him good.  He has moped from my reports."

"They're not dating."

"So?  He's still moping."  He gave him a look.  "By the way, the person you hired to take care of the horses did do a good job.  Companion has had a vet visit while you were gone because somehow she got some fleas.  Yours doesn't."  John nodded at that, still smiling.  "We made sure the vet was a good one that wouldn't hurt either creature.  The groundskeeper was more than happy to walk his dogs for him as well."

"Good.  Thank you for handling that."

"Sir, that's a bad precedent to set.  I don't want that situation ever again.  I'm going to beat them like you would in a sparring match, sir."  He nodded and left him alone.

John sat down to look up the candidates for Homeland Security.  This was going to be a bad time to appoint anyone non-military and non-aggressive.

***

Xander blinked when the light went off around him.  "What the fuck," he muttered.  He hugged the warm, soft thing next to him.  "Hmm, nice dog."  He fell back asleep.

JD leaned in, letting both dogs in.  They hopped up to nap around their human.  He went to check out the kitchen in this place Xander had been refinishing.  It was nicely done.  The bathroom was only half done but he had helped Chris fix the ranch a few times.  He got the bathroom working since it was only one pipe that wasn't connected.  The shower was almost sinful looking when he made sure it worked.  The toilet was nice.  The sink was pretty.  He went to check the other bedrooms.  They were nicely painted, very neutral.

The main bedroom was very good.  Large, large walk in closet.  Clearly an Ezra influence.  The bathroom in there was still looking rough.  He had no way of fixing that by himself right now.  He went to check out the kitchen.  It was nicely appropriated and he could get groceries for the next two days.  John said it'd take that long to work it out of their system.  There was a store on the corner.  He ran down there to get something.  The check-out girl asked him if he was new and he said he was a visiting agent, staying on someone's couch.  She smiled back when he did and he got to go back to the apartment.

***

Ezra finally woke up, grimacing at the taste in his mouth.  "I have been asleep much too long," he muttered.  He sat up but there was an insistent pressure to lay back down across his chest.  He looked at the arm, then at the man attached to it.  "Xander," he said quietly.  No answer.

JD leaned in with a smile.  "They beamed you to the apartment he's flipping.  The beaming landed you there."  He disappeared again.  "The main bathroom across the hallway is open; the attached one's not done yet."

"Thank you," he called.  He nudged Xander to get free.  No response.  He was clearly breathing but the boy never slept this deeply.  He leaned down.  "Can I be released to do my morning ablution?"

Xander smacked is lips and said something in another language.

Ezra smiled.  "What was that?"  He repeated it in another language.  Ezra understood that one.  "No, I won't run away and get into trouble.  Simply a shower, Xander."  He nodded and let him go, letting himself go deeper again.  Ezra got up and went to the bathroom JD had mentioned.  He moaned when he got into the shower.  That was a true definition of sin.

JD looked up at the moan, smiling at it.  "I think he likes the shower," he told the dogs.  They barked so he gave them a treat.  He went back to making them something soft to eat.  They had been asleep for over a day.  Ezra came out and looked around, frowning.  "I put your bag in the closet in there, Ez," he called.

"Thank you, John Daniel."  He went in to get dressed.  Xander was still asleep.  He had to smile, he looked so much younger and happier.   He leaned down next to his ear.  "It's time to get up, Xander."  Xander made kissy faces.  "Not until you're awake enough to shower.  I'm afraid you'll get mad at yourself."  He helped him up and across the hall, into the shower, and then went back to dressing himself.

Xander walked out of the shower, still half asleep.  He looked at Ezra.  "Mean."

"Why am I mean?" he asked with a smile.

"I was comfy."

"I know."  He patted him on the cheek.  Xander moved closer to cuddle him.  "You're getting me wet, Xander."

"So?"

Ezra smirked.  "You can go back to bed if you desire."

"Bed lonely."

"I believe we decided not to do this," he said quietly.  He put the boy back down, not fighting when Xander kissed him.  He let him go slowly, petting him.  "Sleep, Xander."

"Not comfy."  He tried to pull Ezra down.  "C'mon," he whined.

"No, I need to eat something.  You rest some more and I'll see you soon."  He got the pouty face but at least the puppy eyes were closed.  He petted him some more, until he heard a snore.  "You never snore when you sleep with the dogs," he said dryly.  He went to change his shirt since he was wet.  Then he went to the kitchen.  "Food?"

"And coffee, Ez," he said happily.  He pointed.  "Is he awake?"

"Not yet."  He sat down to eat.  "You did a good job.  Thank you."

"Not a problem.   Few notes, Chris said you have to take the medal like everyone else.  You're cleared to stay here until then.  I'm here for the rest of the week.  Buck was pouting he'd have to do his own laundry."  Ezra snorted but sipped some coffee, staring at him.  "The head of Homeland just retired saying he couldn't handle that level of threat.  The director of the Secret Service came down on the former guards like a ton of hissing, butt kicking bricks.  We're not sure what's going on there."

Ezra nodded again.  "All right.  Where are we in the city?"

"About six blocks from your old place here."  He smiled.  "I'm told Xander bought it off seizure to update it and sell it."

"That makes sense.  It's a very nice looking apartment.  Three bedrooms?"

"Yup.  One's kinda tiny but good enough."  He took a sip of his own coffee.  "Store on the corner.  He still has to fix the bathroom in the master bedroom.  You clearly gave him bad closet ideas since it's the size of the smallest bedroom."  Ezra smirked a bit.  "The dogs are around here somewhere but John said he'd stop by later on and pick them up to walk them for us.  I took them out about an hour ago.  Small park up the street by a few blocks."

"Good neighborhood then," Ezra decided.  He ate another bite, listening for movement.  "Xander, come eat," he called.

Xander stumbled out pouting.  "You left.  I wasn't comfy."

"I know but I needed food and so do you.  JD made breakfast."  JD held out a plate with a grin.

Xander pouted.  "Comfy more important than food."

"Eat anyway," Ezra said.  "Then you can be comfy."  Xander sat down to listlessly eat his food.  JD gave him some soda so he was happier.  He was still tired at the end so he took the dogs back to bed.  Ezra called Chris to check in.  He could resist the call of the warm, comfortable bed calling him.  Chris had to repeat himself to get his attention.  "What?"  He nodded.  "I'm going back to sleep in a moment."

"The other beds don't have sheets," JD said with a grin.  Ezra glared.  "Not like he minded if you snored on him."

"Go sit in a corner, JD.  Mr. Larabee said so."  He pouted but went to the living room.  Ezra hung up and checked but had to settle for the large, warm, soft, comfortable master bedroom and the dogs.  Plus the warm one who shifted closer to cuddle.  It wasn't a bad nap after all.

***

Xander woke up not warm and comfy.  As a matter of fact, it felt pretty familiar.  He was sitting upright tied to a chair.  He realized this before he opened his eyes.  There was something seriously screwy going on apparently.  He blinked at his captors.  "Huh," he said.  "Truly stupid people.  I thought most of you got banished."

"You're only the Vice President, no one will care if you disappear for days," the man in front of him said.

"You mean besides my guards?"

"Your guards messed up the other day and didn't grab you when they could have done it easier.  Then all this unpleasantness would've been over with before you woke up, Mr. Harris."

Xander smirked.  "What makes you think you're getting anything from me?"

"Because you can't escape here."

Xander snorted.  "You don't know me very well."

"Your arms master said you're weak in that one area around your liver."

"No, not really."  He got hit with a pain stick, making him tense up but not do more than hiss.  "Well, that's a nice tingle."  He kicked at the guy, making him back off.  "What do you want, jerk off?  I'm busy today."

"Don't worry, your lover won't mind."

"He's not my boyfriend.  He's my guard.  Unfortunately JD apparently couldn't make a bed."  He stared at him.  "I'm waiting.  You're not being good hostage takers.  Your manners suck and your technique lacks style.  I mean, seriously.  Terrorists have better style."  He got hit with the pain stick again but he was ready for it this time.  He stared at the guy.

The agent laughed.  "That's a cute trick, Harris."

"Like I said, you're not worth the stress."

He leaned down.  "We'll see.  For right now we're going to take some blood."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am."

"No, you're not.  Willow?" he called.

"They're a bit busy.  And before you yell for the other one, she's up the hall."

"Her husband is going to kill your ass," he said bluntly.  "If her sister doesn't."

"He's off on a hunt."  He smirked.  "You're all alone."

"No, I'm not."  He stared at him.  "I'm never fully alone."  He looked to his side when he felt Cordelia fading in.  "Hi."

"Hi.  This is sucky."

"They have Dawn too."  The guy tried to hit her with the pain stick.  "If she was still alive she'd fuck you up for that."

"Kill Summers," he called.  "That ex of his showed up."

"Oh hell no!" she shouted.

Dawn blew out a wall and walked over.  "Me?"  She glowed green, staring at him.  "You poor, pathetic pissant."  She touched his head, freezing him.  "Hmm, NID."  He started to shake.  "You're going to regret ever touching me and mine."  She brought him with her to Buffy and Jack's house.  "This nice asshole has Xander hostage still."

Jack jumped up. "Excuse me?"  He grabbed the sheet to cover himself.

"He's NID.  That's a painful toy," she said taking the painstick from him.  "Cordelia's there, Buffy."

"Shit."  She dove for clothes, getting dressed and coming over to knock the guy out.  "Go get Xander."

She stared then looked up.  "I can't.  They have some sort of shield."

"Fucking NID," Jack muttered.  "Maybourne is getting my foot all the way up his ass."  He looked at her.  "Get as close as you can and help any agents."

She nodded and disappeared.  She was not a happy Key.

"She's going to destroy part of a state, sorry."  Buffy grabbed weapons and called.  "WILLOW!"  Willow appeared, sunscreen on her nose, in a modest bikini.  "NID took Xander hostage."

"Oh hell no!" she shouted and power started to flow to her.  "Where?"

"Dawn's supposed to be getting him."

She looked off to the west.  "She's checking on the babies.  She's heading there in a moment."  She tracked her.  "Cordelia's there yelling at Xander to please calm down.  He went hyena," she sighed.  "I can't through the shield."  She took them with her.

Jack watched the shield for a second.  "Get me McKay and one of his many laptops."  She snapped and he appeared, looking startled.  "They have Harris."

He looked then snorted.  "They're going to be destroyed then."

"Yes they will since they darted my daughter," Dawn said dryly.

Rodney gave her a dirty look.  "Don't start down that path."

"You don't fuck with me and mine, Rodney.  And I'm not like Willow before you protest."  She smirked.  "I don't need more power.  I can rip this realm apart without it."  She stared at the shield.  "What is that thing?"  She touched it and it zapped her.  A car was coming their way.  "Guys, idiot in charge.  He's not an agent."

"That's Maybourne.  Buffy, capture him.  McKay, get this shield down.  Now."

"I'm working on it," he muttered.  It finally faded a few minutes later.  "There."

"I'm trying to stop them!" Maybourne shouted.

"Too late," Jack said.  A wall of the prison blew out.  "I didn't know he slept with explosives."

"He doesn't," Willow said.  "That was magic."

A demon wandered out looking messed up.  "Xander is very mean not to let me play with them.  He only wanted the building destroyed and any other victims freed."  He nodded at Buffy, giving her a sleepy look.  "You should remind him he's mean later."  He disappeared.

Buffy jogged in there, Willow and Dawn after her.  "Xander!" she called.

"He's in here," Cordelia called.  "With the parts."  They came to the doorway and stopped.  "I haven't seen him this bad since that one guy in Zimbabwe got him."

"Xander," Dawn said.  She walked closer, around the bodies.  "Hi."  He growled and sniffed.  "It's Dawn, Xander."

"Pack."  He stood up, staring at her.  "Here?"

"I got out and got help thanks to you."  She led him over the bodies and to the door.  "Buffy and Willow came to help.  They brought their husbands."

Xander sniffed then nodded.  "Girls."  He walked off, going to find someone else to beat the hell out of.  He found the begging higher up and attacked him with a growl.

"What the hell!" Maybourne shouted.  "Someone tranq dart him!"

"Hell no!" Jack said.  "You deserve the ass kicking."

"It wasn't my people!  They were all fired at least a week ago!"  He dodged another hit but he wasn't that lucky and Xander was really good.  "What is wrong with him!  He's worse than Sheppard's bug phase."

"Hyena," Buffy said with a smirk.  "And a soldier."

"Probably a few more too," Willow sighed.  She knocked Xander out before he bit the guy.  "Speak, mister, or my husband can chastize me all night for magicking you into various things until you beg me."

"Really?  We got married and didn't tell me?" Buffy demanded.

"Um, last night," she said sheepishly, giving her a hesitant smile.  "Sorry?"

"Uh-huh."  She glared at the idiot.  "Well?  I'm not that patient."

"I don't know.  Honestly.  I never authorized this.  All the people I've seen listed as part of it were fired recently.  Especially a few of his former guards!"

"Is this more of that Trust crap?" Jack demanded.

"No, I don't think so."  He usually didn't think O'Neill, either one, was this scary but right now....  "I'll get to the bottom of this."

"No way," Willow said, snapping her fingers and two more people appeared.  "Chris, Xander needs to go back to DC.  The NID had him in custody and he reverted to his possession.  This NID higher up said that all these people who took Dawn and Mr. Harris hostage aren't his," she told the other one.  "You probably won't find anyone living anymore but there's probably plenty of information since Xander didn't destroy that.  Even though it might link back to why some of his guards left him alone."

"Excuse me?" Chris demanded.  Dawn nodded.  The NID guy nodded too.  "Director, can my team investigate this?"

"No.  Your team can head back to DC to protect him, Larabee.  We need you more there."  He looked at the sleeping young man.  "Did we tranquilize him?"

"Yup, before he killed the weenie with answers," Willow said.

"Because it would've taken all my fun," Dawn agreed.

Maybourne looked at her.  "What are you?  You're not the normal human."

She smirked.  "Even if I felt like explaining it to you, I wouldn't because your whole purpose is to create torture and mayhem."  She looked at her sister.  "They left my kids with Connor."

"Go," Buffy ordered.  "If they need a statement they can come see you."  She nodded and left in a flash of light.  She texted Sam to warn him.  Dawn was still pissed off and Connor might be hiding her kids from her for a few minutes.

"Hopefully Sam's back will hold up long enough to calm her down," Jack said.  He looked at Maybourne.  "Larabee, arrest him."  He did that with an evil smirk.  "McKay, I know it's your honeymoon, though you're in trouble for not telling us."

"I filed for appropriate leave paperwork for the both of us," Willow said coolly.

"You still should've told us," Buffy told her.  "I tell you important stuff!"

"Ladies, later," the other higher up said.  "General, please get your people back where they belong and Agent Larabee with his charge."  He nodded, calling for that beam out. He called someone to come investigate this mess.  "This is Director Fornell of the FBI.  I have a hell of a mess at my phone's coordinates.  Someone kidnaped the Vice President and he had to make a mess getting himself free.  I'm told there's probably no survivors beyond the higher up who showed up to try to stop them.  No, he's alive," he said at the officer's sniffle.

"He went primal.  He's back under good guard.  Possibly.  I got here via magic."  He hung up but left his phone on.  Within a half hour a helicopter landed near him and he nodded at his people.  "The people in there, who may be dead, kidnaped the Vice President.  He went primal to get himself free."  They all stared, one glaring at him.  "Epps, lead the team looking for survivors.  When you get back, take a statement from Dawn Summers.  She's with the city's protection patrol."

"I know of her," he said.  "She was here?"

"She said she was captured as well.  She's how I got here."  He pointed.  "This is the director of the NID.  He said they had all been fired.  Some of them may even be former Secret Service agents."  Epps nodded, deploying his people as more showed up.  Fornell looked at Maybourne.  "I'd sing like the choir."

"I...  I had no part in this.  I only heard the rumor this morning, ran it down, and came out here to stop them."

"That may save you from a treason charge," he said dryly.   Epps came out looking green.  "Survivors?"

"Two in cells and they need immediate medical attention."  Someone shouted and he held his earpiece.  "We found one on life support as well.  In some sort of machine."

Fornell nodded.  "I'll get you guys help."  He called that in and they sent medical teams out to move them.  This wasn't going to be a pretty investigation by any means.

***

Chris landed in the condo with Xander, who was still out.  "Ezra, help me get him to bed.  He went primal and ripped the hell out of the agents who had captured him."  Ezra glared but helped him.  "You good?"

"They darted JD and I was asleep again," he said quietly.  "JD is taking the dogs to the vets because they still had the darts on them."

"Good deal."  He called his desk.  "Nathan, me.  Dawn summoned me to help Xander.  NID had him."  He hung up.  "Some of his former guards," he said quietly.

"It will not be happening again," Ezra assured him.

"Not on our watch.  Any idea how to get him out of it?"

"Not in the least.  We'll figure it out I suppose."  He sat down next to him when the boy started to snuffle around.  "Xander, it's Ezra."

"Pack," he said quietly, flipping to hug him around his waist.

"Yes, we're your pack and you're safe now.  No one else will dare come near you again."  He petted him gently, making him relax and purr.  He smiled at the boy.  "I know, I'm very comforting.  Can you perhaps wake up and be human?"  The boy blinked up at him.  "Are you out of your primal state?"

"Slightly."

"Good."  He kept petting him.  It was helping so he'd indulge him.  "What happened?"

"I woke up there.  I don't know how."

"They sedated all of us," Ezra said calmly.

"Are you okay?  And the dogs?"

"They're fine.  I had JD take them to the vet in case."  Xander nodded, relaxing again.  He closed his eyes.  "Are you injured?"

"They tried to shock me twice but I've had worse from vampires."

"Hmm.  Should we call in a medic to look you over?" Ezra asked.

"Please don't call Nathan?" he begged.

Chris snickered.  "He's still in Denver, Xander.  It's just us here right now."

"The horses?"

"They're fine I'm sure," he told him.  His phone rang.  "Larabee."  He listened.  "No, sir, he rescued himself.  Dawn summoned me, the General sent us back here.  He's awake and cuddly."  He hung up with a wince.  "I heard Marines who don't swear like that."

"Mr. Sheppard is having a fit?" Ezra asked dryly.

"I think he's going to blow something up soon without explosives."  He sat down beside the boy so he could get a coherent report out of him.  They'd need it if Xander had left any survivors.  Ezra would let him cuddle for now since it was helping him calm down.  Chris wouldn't say a word about that stuff.  It wasn't his place and he wanted Ezra to be happy.

***

John stormed out of the car and into the building, not caring who saw him.  The doorman stood up then went pale.  "Which floor is Harris' place on?" he demanded.

"Fourth, sir."

"Thank you.  I'm not here."

"Yes, sir."  He saluted and John nodded, getting into the elevator.   He relaxed since no one else came in.  He sent the valet to move the car out of the no parking zone.  It wasn't an official vehicle, they couldn't get away with that.

John pounded on the door, getting let in by Chris.  "What the fuck happened?" he demanded.

"He has neighbors," Chris reminded him dryly.  "He's awake, aware, back to human."  He handed over the notes he had made.  "Apparently they had Dawn as well."

John growled, calling his director of the FBI.  "I want a damn report within hours, Fornell.  What the fuck happened and how did they capture Xander?"  He listened, scowling hard.  "Excuse me?  Oh hell no Maybourne isn't allowed out of custody!"  He listened and scowled some more.  "Good!  I'm glad he made the mess.  Give me an update when you get back to DC and I want to know before you start arresting."  He hung up, looking at Chris.  "Can we impose on you?"

"Yup.  For now."

"Thank you."  He went in to check on Xander.  "Hey."  Xander blinked at him, then grinned.  "You look very comfortable."  He petted him gently.  "Are you okay?  Need a hospital?  Or Lam?  She said to call her out of bed if you needed her.  I think she's got a crush," he said with a grin of his own.

"No, I'm okay.  I've had worse from vampires and past boyfriends."

"No more of those.  Date Ezra.  We like you and Ezra as friends so we'd like you and him together for real."  He petted him again.  "Fornell is investigating and I'll be cutting off heads myself, Xander.  Just calm down."  He nodded and put his head back down so he could go back to sleep.  He looked at Ezra and smiled.  "Thank you."  He walked out at the new knock.  Two Metro PD officers were there.  "Gentlemen, I need you to keep a quiet eye on this apartment."

"Mr. President, sir.  We got told shouting was coming from here?"

"Hell yes I shouted.  Someone stole the Vice President.  This is his house he's flipping."  They nodded at that.  "He's recovering from his kidnaping here.  I was yelling because I just heard about it."

"We'll keep a subtle, quiet eye on the building, sir.  Was he kidnaped locally?  Do we need to help the FBI?"

"I'm told they're by LA and they're all dead thanks to Xander getting himself free.  He's injured and tired from the battle still.  An Ancient's chair will wear you out.  Just keep it quiet so he doesn't have to sell it too soon."  They nodded and left.  He looked at Chris.  "I'll make sure of the guard team he presently has."  He left, going to yell at the Director of the Secret Service as well.  He needed to vent this temper and someone needed their foot up his ass.  He had learned how to chew people a new one from Rodney.  He could channel him for now.  Then yell at him later for not telling him he had gotten married.

***

Xander woke up in the middle of the night, looking at his bedmate.  "I'm sorry I cuddled."

"I'm not."  He smiled.

"We should talk, huh?"

"We should," he agreed.  "How are you feeling?"

"Kinda sore and achy.  I'm pretty good at holding that off until after the issue anymore."  He sat up, looking at his friend.  "Did I really goof up?"

"No.  Why would you have?"

"I meant our friendship, Ezra."

"Again, why would you have?"  Xander gave him a pointed look.  He smiled.  "I find myself flattered that you would find me more than suitable."  Xander blushed, ducking his head a bit.  "That is adorable on you."  He took a careful, soft kiss.  Xander kissed back.  "I cannot be your guard if we are together."

"I know.  Then again I don't really need much of a guard.  Occasionally I need an assistant."

Ezra nodded.  "Yes you do."  He smirked.  "We'll see how this works since we'll be back here again for six months."

"John bought the farm you guys used last time."

"Then the horses will find a pleasurable home and the herd will be together again."  He stroked over Xander's arm.  "You're chilled."

"I'm okay."  He shifted closer slowly.  Ezra let him snuggle next to him.  "I'm not really as wild as I appear to be," he said quietly.  "Unless I'm bored or need to let it out."

"We will work on all that tomorrow."

"Is there any food?"

"There's a plate in the refrigerator for you."  Xander got up to get it.  He came back nibbling and sat down again.  "No crumbs on the bed.  They're not conducive to good sleep."

"Not," Xander said between bites.  He looked around.  "No dogs?"

"With John so they can use the yard."

"Oh.  Okay."  He finished up and put the plate down on the floor beside the bed then cuddled up to Ezra again.  "You're really overdressed."

Ezra laughed.  "I believe we should both be clothed for the moment."  He did strip down to his boxers and t-shirt.  Xander put on some boxers.  That would work for tonight.  Even if Ezra did have to wear socks because the apartment was cold.  Xander kept him nicely warmed and supple the entire night.

Dramas of Being in DC.

Xander walked into the White House his first day back and nearly got to punch someone.

"Mr. Cocksucker, sir," one of the guards sneered.

"Ignore him, Harris," Larabee ordered, glaring at him.  The soldier didn't back down.  The soldier that grabbed him did however.  "Thank you.  Keeps Harris from punching him."

"We don't allow that sort of disrespect here," he assured him.  "The President is waiting on you three in his office with a report about how you got stolen, sir."

"Thank you, Colonel Lorne, and congrats on the promotion."

"Thank you, sir."  He walked the disgrace in uniform off.  He didn't want his sort in uniform anyway.

Xander walked into the oval office, smiling as he looked around.  "You changed the light bulbs?"

"I had to, half of them were burned out and I couldn't read things in the dark."  He looked up.  "Fornell found their reasons."

"Did I leave anyone?"

"Two on the base who hid instead of going after you.  They thought you might turn into an O'Neill."  Xander smirked at that.  "Anyway, they wanted to test any strange DNA you may have and your ATA gene."

"What's an ATA gene?" Chris asked.

"The gene sequence that allows him and Ezra to operate Ancient tech.  We won't give them any to test on because we're not evil."

"Ah.  So why not take Ezra?"

"They're not fully sure it was him in that other chair."  He leaned his arms on the desk, clasping his hands together.  "Want to read the report?"

"Not really as long as they're all going far, far away."

"Considering taking you hostage is treason?"   He handed over the report.  "Though treason doesn't always get you a death sentence as we found out.  Fornell found out they let out Kinsey.  Unfortunately he missed all the assassinations by being in jail at the time."

Xander read over that report too.  "Huh.  Okay.  How do we stop this?"

"I'm pretty sure they won't ever do it again," John told him with a smile.  Xander smirked back, letting Chris and Ezra have the report.  "Now, I heard happier news.  Willow and Rodney snuck off to marry without telling anyone."  Xander nodded at that.  "Dawn's pregnant again.  They did not hurt the baby.  Dean went on a 'why me, God' rant about that topic because Sam was confined to bed again thanks to his back.  And..."  He smirked. "I heard some change of status rumors about you two as well?"

"We're... talking," Xander said, looking at Ezra, who smiled back.  "It would cause problems with my guard detail."

"True but you could have him as a hidden guard basically.  It's not like he'd let you be taken when you were out on a date, Xander."

"Very true," Ezra agreed dryly.  "Though it would probably be a problem politically."

Xander shook his head.  "I don't want his job, Ezra.  I don't care what anyone in this town thinks about anything most of the time.  If they're not happy with who I'm in a relationship with why would I care?"

"Good point.  Though you may have to consider that because you'll need some cooperation over anything upcoming that's an important bill."

John shook his head.  "Not really.  There's not many of them and the senators all know that Xander doesn't play those games.  Either you agree or you don't, but the whole 'back scratching for allies' things escapes him most of the time."

"Why do we have more military guys here?" Chris asked.

"Because we're going over city staffing."

Xander nodded.  "Which I probably need to know something about just in case we don't have enough people for the chairs?"

"Probably," John said with a smirk.  "Though you're both a last resort, kids."  They smirked back at him.  "Nice timing though, Xander."

"I'm glad she could put things in a language I could translate into Star Trek and B5."

Ezra shook his head.  "I understood the mathematics of it but it was not my best showing probably."

"Most people who do really well in the chair have aerial combat experience.  I'm wondering why you two got called to those specific ones."

"Well, from where she was supposed to be, I've been there about three times," Xander admitted.  "I always knew there was something strange about that area but I thought it was sleeping Old One or something."

"That's a good place to start.  Ezra?"

"I was probably the closest."

"Any of the ones in the Mountain would've been closer," John said.

"In the open?"

"Possibly.  We'll ask why she liked you."  The new colonel walked in.  "Evan Lorne, these are Xander Harris and ATF Agent Ezra Standish."

"Pleasure.   I'm told I should've run faster so this would've been your headache, Colonel," Xander said with a smirk.

Evan shook his hand.  "Not a chance in hell, sir.  I would've fled and abandoned my post."  He smirked at John.  "The Generals are here along with the huffy people, sir."

"Yay," John said flatly.  "Let's go to the conference room, guys.  Chuck, bring us coffee and something for these two to nibble on."

"No food needed, thank you," Ezra said.

"I nibble during meetings so I have to actually swallow before I spew on someone," Xander said.  "The PM knows this.  He asked me why I ate during meetings once, got really pissed, but decided he liked that answer.  Said he had some that would've been better if he had done the same."  They walked out.  Chuck handed over the bowl of nuts.  "Thanks, Chuck."

"Welcome, Xander."  He smiled at Ezra.  "Coffee's already in there, sir, and it's the good stuff because Dr. McKay's here already."

"Cool," John said.  He walked in first.  "Good morning, people."  He sat down.  Xander took his seat, Ezra took the empty seat next to him.  Done by design.  Evan got the free seat at the other end of the table.  Both O'Neills were already in theirs.   The British PM was in his and so were three generals.  "So let's get down to it."  Xander nibbled on a nut, getting a dirty look from the generals.

"This way I have to swallow before I say something dumb that'll make someone cry," Xander said dryly, eating another one.

"Sir, how did you find your city?" one of them asked him.

"It found me.  Beamed me out to man it.  It was underwater too.  Scared the crap out of me for a few minutes."

"Mine summoned me as well," Ezra said.  "I had been in Denver helping handle the panicking going on."

"I figured announcing it early would ease some of the panic," Xander admitted.  "That way there wouldn't be a rush on grocery stores or anything."

"That's something I did agree with," one of the generals said.

Xander shrugged.  "It made sense.  That way the people wouldn't speculate and then suddenly freak about 'oh, shit, there's something up there' when Atlantis disappeared."  He looked at John.

"I did like that," he assured him.  "I figured you would.  Plus it got people ready to face the unlikely situation of a dart making it down here."  He smiled.  "The cities beamed you both?"  They both nodded.  "What was going on before then?"

"A lot of itching," Xander said.  "It felt like my skin wanted to travel without me."  Ezra nodded he agreed.

"They probably got word of the wraith from Atlantis or some sensors picked them up," Evan said.   "It was probably a safety protocol to protect the planet."

"Possibly," John agreed.  "Though, I'm shocked it pulled Xander."

"Harris luck," he said dryly.  "And I had been near its area before while helping slayers."

"So you were probably easiest logged into because of that," Evan decided.  Xander shrugged and ate another nut.  "Dr. McKay, how are they looking so far?"

"We're going over Brigadoon first, because the UK wants her back.  So far she's shown some problem systems, again from being underwater so long.  We've found two structural anomalies."

"She was tethered when I sat down," Xander told him.  "I think I unlocked it instead of  rocking her free."

"You did.  That's not what I was talking about."  He looked at his PC then at him.  "How did you learn how to fly her?"

"She gave me the information and I integrated with the Star Trek and B5 knowledge I studied for *years*."

Rodney shook his head quickly.  "Never mind."  One of the generals snickered.  "That's about how Mr. Wells knew how to run her systems as well."

"That's why I called Andrew," Xander said.  "I don't know too many bigger geeks."

"Neither do I," Rodney assured him, making Xander snicker.  "The two anomalies relate to the docking mechanism.  It appears they have a redundant lock, which is broken, and a asymmetrical landing tower."

"So the outpost is probably on a hill?" Jack O'Neill guessed.

"I got a picture of her outpost.  It was done to highlight the tower she rests on," Jon said.

Rodney nodded, making note of that.  "All right.  We can fix that broken lock once she's back.  We can't do it underwater."  He looked at the PM.  "About who will have access to her?"

"We have Colonel Balder."

"I remember him from the SG teams," Jack said.  "But he wasn't an ATA carrier and it'll take one to man her."

"We've been looking but we haven't had much luck finding many strong ones," the PM said.  "The reports from my group's head said that they've only found two, neither very strong or suitable."

Xander got a flash and held his forehead.  "Ow."  He took a few deep breaths and looked at him.  "That wasn't a vision."  They all relaxed.  The PM looked curious.  "It came with the loss of my eye."  He looked at him.  "I got the flash of a redheaded RAF guy."

"Um...  Hmm.  Can you be more specific about rank?" the PM asked.  "Because that would cover a few."

"He's a pilot definitely.  He's about five years younger than me or so.  He's Irish if that helps."  The PM gaped.  "He has no idea but he's from very near it.  I recognized him because I saw him grocery shopping.  He was on leave or something so he's at home near there."  He grinned.  "If he doesn't know about the ATA gene and hasn't been on an SG team, could we bring a team over to train him in the SG methodology?" he asked Jack and John.

"That's not a bad idea.  That way he'd get some time working with other tech and could take over the flying duties in case of emergency," John said, looking at Jack, who nodded.  "Any idea what his name was?"

"No.  I remember staring at his ass when I ran into him shopping while I was near the city helping that slayer."

"Geez," Jon complained.

"He's clearly not dangerous if he didn't stare back," Ezra teased with a smirk.

"Clearly."  He smirked at the astonished PM.  "Even some straight evil shits have wanted me, Prime Minister.  I had a few who kidnaped me who swore up and down they weren't gay so they didn't know why they wanted me."  The older man moaned and shook his head.  "Anyway, I think she likes him.  Has a pilot crush."

"I'll find him as soon as I can and have him sent with the newest team," the PM promised.  He made notes on what he knew.  "Where is the outpost city?"  Jon shoved over his report on that.  "Oh, I see.  That's always been a strange area.  The Council pretty well watched over it for us."

"I did when I was up there setting up Melody's house for her," Xander agreed.

"Are any of the slayers ATA carriers?" Jon asked Jack.  Who nodded.  "Many?"

"Most," Xander said.  "John had him search last year and one of them freaked out so called me."

"All the alpha slayers and all the delta slayers are," Jack said.  "Almost none of the beta slayers."

"What's the difference?" one of the generals asked.

"Alpha slayers are stronger, they have the better skills.  They're meant to take on the heavy action," Xander said.  "Like Buffy.  Kamria, who was here in town.  Rona is as well. They handle things very well."

"Faith?"

"Faith's really a delta slayer.  Which is, almost always, an alpha who works best alone.  Buffy works well with a team approach once they got the slayer hierarchy straightened out.  Faith's a lone wolf.  Most delta slayers are.  Beta slayers are soldiers but most of them, for whatever reason, won't call a new slayer if they die and they don't do well leading.  We think if the former one girl at a time order had been kept they were down the line and weren't going to be called or if they did it was going to be during a quieter time.  We needed the strength in Buffy during her alone times.  Faith's too.  If we had made it all the way down to Serena for example, who's in the SG program, she wouldn't have been able to handle something like the ascension or anything too huge."

"Oh, all right.  So the lines are shrinking again?"

"By about half," Jack told him.  "We think it means that the massive threats are done with for a while."

Xander nodded.  "But the first class of potentials that was born since the calling actually holds two more slayers than were called during the Calling.  We're not sure if the beta slayers there are going to be activated.  Dawn's really not certain."

"Huh," Jack said.  "So an interesting factoid to file away for now," he decided.  "What about the other city?"

"She's mine," Jon said.  "She said she liked me when I landed her outside Sunnydale."

"Did we raise shields against the energy?  It's still got a small leak," Xander said.

"Yes, she felt it," he said dryly.  "She has a nice shield for that."

"Thank God.  I wouldn't want a city demoned."

"You act like they're sentient," the PM said.

"They are," John said.  "Atlantis has a very sentient AI that loves all of us on the city."

"She can also be a bit of a busybody," Rodney said dryly.

"Just because she locked you and Willow in a room for a month," Xander said dryly.

"She did?" Jack asked.  "I thought it was for a night."

Xander shook his head.  "She let them out a few times for work reasons but otherwise no."

"Rodney," John said with a smirk.

"Don't you start either."  He glared at Xander, who only ate another nut and smirked.  "Anyway, yes, there is a sentient AI on each of the cities.  We're also scanning for others that may be down here but unpowered."  He looked at his computer then at the PM again.  "Doctor Jackson has been looking at rumors of other vanishing cities and cultures."

"The one in Peru might be a city but it was totally powered down and dead," Xander said suddenly.  He shifted to pull his foot up under his other one.  "I was down there and the slayer I was training in the jungles wanted to look at the ruins.  I felt something strange, same as I did in Scotland with Brigadoon's city, but I couldn't identify it."

"Any other areas, kid?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, I reported that and another area in central Africa.  Near headhunter country."  Jack nodded at that, making his own notes.  "There was one I didn't and it's in India.  I was only there briefly to help with a battle."

"That's a start," Rodney said.  "Would Mr. Giles have those reports?"

"Supposedly?  If not, I've got my journals.  I'm sure I made notes about it.  I did about anywhere that tweaked any of my senses in case it was an Old One's resting place or a possible mini-hellmouth since I can find those really easy.  By the way, the second most active hellmouth right now is in Saudi Arabia.  We *so* need to talk to them because it's pulsing.  That means it's going to open," he told Jack.

"I'll talk with them tonight, Xander.  Your friends?"

"No.  And one has two slayer daughters."

"Crap.  They didn't want slayers."

"No.  It broke the rules of how women were supposed to act and be protected."

"Okay, I'll talk to them.  They have a unit set up instead?"

"Yeah and they're the ones who send some at Faith every few months."

"Good to know.  Where is it?"

"You know that odd spot of weather they've been talking about?" he asked dryly.  "Just off center thanks to a natural cliff face and the wind patterns."

"Shit," John complained.  "We can use the phones here, General."  He looked at Xander.  "Any others in the US?"

"Four mini but it'll take centuries for the rips to get too strong.  About seven all over the globe that're mature and another ten babies."

"Can you mark them on a map?" Rodney demanded.

"Yup, I have one.  It's in Cleveland in my former office."  Rodney made note of that.  Willow would get it for them.  "Anyway."  He looked at the PM.  "How are you going on setting up an Atlantis-like team?"

"Not overly well right now.  We have a few scientists we can lean on for that.  All of them post SG service."

"I have four we can let you borrow," Rodney said.  "Archaic is going to be hard to get enough for."

"Technically, if they're in good shape, you only need mechanics," Xander pointed out.  "You don't need people like you, Rodney, who is making ground-breaking discoveries.  You need people who can fix it when she breaks down, makes sure all the systems were running, and then support in case of a battle.  You need Scotty, not you."

"That is true," he admitted.  "Though we'll need more than a simple mechanic."

"No, but that's a lot of what we did on Atlantis," John reminded him.  "You compared yourself to one plenty of times."

"I remember," Rodney said.  "Vividly."  He considered it.  "We can train people how to fix her systems.  Lesser engineers.  Lesser physicists.  I am still worried about who would get access to her ZPM's."

"We can limit that access," John said.  "I could from the chair on Atlantis."

"Then we'll work on that to make sure we're all safe," the PM agreed.

"What is so bad about this ZPM power source?" one of the lesser generals asked.

"Nothing if you like destroying the planet in a flash of light," Rodney said dryly.  "I thoroughly screwed up trying to build a new one and destroyed most a solar system by accident."

"Oh," he said, then nodded.  "Can we remove them?"  Rodney and all the SG people shook their heads.  "Then yes, let's definitely take precautions on that."

"We will be," Jack assured him.  "We always do."

"I have been building some scientists up to the point of understanding them better but none are anywhere near ready to make one," Rodney told him.  "We're barely able to recharge some of them."

"That's good to know.  Is it safely done?"

"We have the recharging station in another solar system," Jack told him.

"Oh, thank God."  He smiled.  "Would you suggest the former SG teams that the UK has rotated through to man the city?"

"That would be safest," John agreed.  "They're used to the way we do things, the ethical concerns of having a gate.  Have all probably been in combat."

"What about other countries that had teams?" Xander asked.  "I heard there was a Russian team?"

"They had their own gate and it turned really bad," Jack told him.  "There's some people left from their program though.  I'm not sure how that would play out."

"I've already had a call saying they'd like to look over the outpost if they could, and if not, maybe get a good look at the city," the PM said.

"I'm not sure what they're thinking," Jack told him.

"I told them it was going to be a while due to the condition and the possibility of instabilities."

"Honestly, we need each and every country to build their own version of a preparedness group," Xander said.  Everyone stared at him.  "I'm not saying the cities won't be enough some day but we definitely need it in case it might happen.  Because having a few here and there on the planet means taking time to get them to wherever the problem is."  He ate another nut, looking at John.  He swallowed.  "Can we train those groups that are taking over slayer duties?"

"Yes.  We train the regular SG troops about the wraith, Ori, and gou'ald," he admitted.  "That's not a bad idea, Xander."

"It makes no sense not to have someone close enough in case one might sneak down here.  They're used to the strange so they won't really freak at the thought of bad aliens."

"That's a good point and I have given all the slayers training on the problems," Jack admitted, staring at him.  "That's very good, leader thinking Xander."

Xander smirked.  "I am their favorite battle master."

"You are," he agreed.  "The girls pouted that you weren't teaching them more than once."  He smiled.  "I think that's a good idea.  Train Special Forces here?" he asked the generals.

"That would make the most sense," one agreed.  "They'd be sent to deal with it.  Train the regular soldiers how to handle it if they should land.  Train Special Forces in how to fight them in combat."

"We have hours of footage from fights at the SGC," John assured him.  "Both from Atlantis and not."

"Even better.  We can make something like that easy enough for the general population, General O'Neill?"

"We can.  We already have.  We give the hopefuls that training and take whoever doesn't freak out."

Jon snickered.  "I got it at the Air Force academy.  They weren't sure why but they were ordered."

"Who are you?" the PM asked.  "Just for future reference?"

Jon smirked.  "Jack's nephew Jon."

"Ah."

Xander looked at him.  Then at the PM.  "He took over as John's smartass replacement," Evan told him dryly.

"I'll take over Archaic's chair," Jon told them.  They all nodded.  "So that leaves that RAF guy that Xander spotted and crushed on for Brigadoon.  What about the others?"

"If they're operable," Rodney said.  "That might depend on which country it's in."

"Which will cause wars," Ezra said.

"In India you might get the Brahman groups fighting that it should be their job," Xander said.  "Not many others."

"We can work with India and they're allies," Jack said.  "The one in Africa we'd have to look it over.  I'm hoping it's not in one of the regimes we hate."

"I don't remember the country.  Down there there's a lot of places that don't have a border crossing."

"I remember," Jack assured him with a grin.  Willow appeared since Rodney had texted her to get him the map.  Rodney took it to lay out.  He looked at Africa.  "It's not in a horrible spot," he announced.  "Peaceful at the moment."

"I can talk to them," Xander offered.

"No, let's scan it from space first," Jack ordered.  "See what sort of condition it's in.  If it's not operable we'll send an archeological team at first."  The others nodded.  "We'll tell them then that it's not working tech."  He looked at the rest of the map.  "What's this one in Tibet and when did you get there?"

"Oz sent that to me," he admitted.  "He's in a temple there controlling the werewolf."  He grinned.  "He sent it to my email that he felt something growing there, he wasn't sure if it was a baby hellmouth or not."  He pointed.  "This is baby hellmouth.  That's a weird feeling spot.  This is a known hellmouth or hellgate.  The dots are changed to black if they're taken down."   He looked at Willow.  "Can you figure out if we can repair some of the baby ones before they have problems?"

"I've been working on it but I'm not sure how."

"I've been helping with the subspace differences," Rodney admitted.  "I'm not sure if we can, Xander."

"I'm worried about what'll happen if one of the other realms has a war that goes nuclear."

"Oh," he said, considering that.  "That would leak through and possibly tear open the thin spots."

"That's something that came to me one day while I was shutting down a radiating hell gate," Xander told him.

"That would be bad," Rodney decided.  "We'll factor that into her private research later."  She smiled and sat down in a free chair.  "General O'Neill, I would say we split SGA-5 and 7, plus SG-4 and 7 to Archaic.  We'd offer Brigadoon support from the science corps and possibly training to help them get used to living on a sentient city and outpost."

"That would be fine," he agreed, considering it.  "Though SG-7 just lost someone against a prior the other day," he admitted.  "One of the few we've found."

"Need Gorm's phone number?" Xander asked.

"No, we got it.  That was a freakish plan that worked somehow."

"His tend to be that way sometimes," Willow told him.

Xander looked at her.  "Not like I got formal training, dear."  She nodded at that.

"How did yo learn how to plan battles?" John asked.  "I've wondered for years, Xander."

Xander smirked.  "Possession back in high school thanks to a chaos sorcerer.  He turned us into our costumes.  Mine happened to belong to a Special Forces guy."  They all groaned.  "Plus a lot of campaigning around strange, unrealistic worlds."  He smirked at Willow.  "By the way, you owe me a hundred bucks.  Ravenloft and two other D&D universes are real worlds or realms."

She gaped.  "There's no way."

"Ask Gorm."

"Damn it."  She paid him with a huff.  "That's freakier than usual."

"Some people see into other realms," he said dryly.  He put the money into his pocket with a grin for the staring people.  He ate a nut.

The PM shook his head.  "Well, that's interesting training."

"Better than Regan had," Jack snorted.

"All too true," the generals agreed.  One shook his head.  "Who was the Special Forces person, Mr. Harris?"

He smirked.  "Classified."

"Was he SG?" Jack asked.

"Not that I'm aware of.  At least not when his uniform got put into the bin at the thrift shop."

"So was he alive?" John asked.  "When you got possessed?"

"Yes, still is actually.  He's being an old goat and refusing to die from liver cancer."  Jack glared at him.  He laughed but nodded.  "Yeah.  I think you know him pretty well."

"That ....  Well shit.  He has luck like you, kid."

"Dangerous things liked Xander before he got that possession," Willow said dryly.  "Maybe that made it stronger though.  Did he know?"

Xander nodded.  "I send him a card on his birthday every year."  John moaned, shaking his head.  Xander ate another nut, sliding the bowl over so Ezra could nibble too with a grin.

"Who?" one of the generals asked.

"Hyt," Jack said dryly.  Xander smirked and nodded.  "Strange how that works."

"And if the people panic and make me the president, your nephew's my VP."

"Thank you, God!" Evan said, looking up.

"You're still my backup choice since John said you were so good, Colonel Lorne."  Xander smirked at him.

"Please don't," he begged.

"Or maybe Chris?" he asked Ezra, who shuddered and shook his head.

"Eat more nuts, Xander," Ezra said calmly.  "Before you give us many more bad ideas."

"I'd never accept it," Jon complained.

"Neither did I," Jack and John said.

"Me either," Xander agreed.

"Shit," Jon complained.  He slumped down in his chair.  "Please don't, Xander?"

"Fine."  He looked at Jack, smirking at him.  "I could've said Faith."

"No, I think that would be a problem," he assured him.  "Mostly because she'd kill you."

"Possibly, yeah."  He got comfortable and ate another nut.  He let the PM have the bowl, getting a smile as he took some to nibble on as well.  "Maybe you guys should spread that around?"

John burst out cackling.  "They may run from that ticket," he said.  "It might save you."

"Hopefully," Xander agreed.  He looked at Ezra.  "If not, and we're still dating, do you want to go to the inauguration ball with me?"

"I would be delighted," he said dryly.  Xander smiled back.  "Though that one club?"

"If I'm wearing out my stress I don't have to go let it bleed out there."

"You get to club more than that once?" John asked.  "We're not twenty, Xander."

"He found a discreet club," Ezra told him.  "With security."

"Oh.  I need that address."  Xander wrote it out and who to talk to.  "Thanks, kid."

"Welcome."  He looked at Ezra.  "I won't go if you don't want to go with me."

"We'll talk about that later."  Xander nodded, nibbling on another nut.  He looked down the table.   "Are there other concerns?"

"Actually, your involvement is a bit of a concern," one of the generals said.

"He's an ATF agent.  I'm pretty sure he knows when he can't talk about stuff," Xander said dryly.

"Oh.  I didn't know that.  All right.  Then I won't worry so much about him going on national tv to talk about it."

"Not even if someone asked very sweetly to cover the government's rear end," Ezra said dryly.

"Thank you for that worry being eased," Jack told him.  "How is Denver?"

"So far I haven't heard anything bad.  Have you?"

"No, not yet."  He looked at John, who smiled and nodded.  "Okay, let's let the McKays get back to Brigadoon.  Which feels weird to say, and then Jon can go bond with his city.  Then we'll work on a backup chair person after we find that one RAF guy."  They all nodded and the meeting broke up.  He looked at Xander and Ezra as they walked out.  "He'd make a better one than I did," he said quietly.

"It took him a bit but he got used to all this stuff," John agreed.  "Have you seen the new ads?"

"No.  Why?"

"Remember the 'what's the next best thing to a general; a colonel' ads?"  Jack nodded.  That's the underground campaign that had gotten John elected after him.  "They've added to it so it's 'what's the next best thing to a colonel; a knight'."  Jack snickered.  "He's not losing many points by dating Ezra."

"That's good to know."   They went back to their appointed tasks.  Jack had to finish calming down the slayers and call Saudi Arabia.

Xander looked up from his paperwork when Chris dropped his mail on his desk and swatted him hard on the head.  "Ow!"

"Don't even think about naming me."  He walked off.

"But it would definitely protect people," he called after him. "Buck and JD liked the idea."

"I'll shoot 'em later," he called back.

Xander snickered.  His assistant stared at him.  "I suggested if people did end up O'Neilling me into office then I'd pick Chris as a running mate."  He grinned.

"Sir, perhaps you should take the time for a nap before you go to the Senate in an hour?"

"Nah, I'm good."  He looked through the mail, finding a letter from Ral.  He opened it and laughed.  "Aww."  He took it to show John.  "Sel and Ral are both having a run of sons."  He let him see the letter.

John laughed, handing it back.  "Yes, Your Highness, your nephews.  Yes, Xander does know them.  That's why we're calling.  It's the hellmouth there breaking open that's causing that weather problem.  We're working to see if we can shut them somehow.  I have Dr. McKay and his new wife working on it.  No, he married Miss Rosenburg of the Council.  They worked together for years on the differences between magic and science.   Yes, I believe that should be a good plan.  I can but you have to agree to not punish the slayers for any reason.  I can ask Buffy O'Neill if she'd come.  Yes, the former First Lady and her husband."  He smirked.  "That would be fine.  Thank you, sir."  He hung up.  "He said his nephews are quite prosperous with sons and it was a good thing for the family."

"I'll write a letter for her to bring to them.  Saves on postage."  He went to do that while John talked Buffy into going on a trip.

***

Ezra walked into the unit office in Denver, looking at the waiting teammates.  "Good afternoon."

"Hi, Ez.  How was DC?" JD asked with a grin.

"Very good."  He checked his desk.  It was clear for a change.  Chris walked in with Travis.  "AD Travis."

"Ezra."  He shook his hand with a smile.  "Nice to have you back."

"It's nice to be out of the limelight."  He sat down.  "Do we have a present case?"

"Yes but I wanted to talk to you both." Travis looked at the others.  "You can have them in a minute."  He walked them into Chris' office.  "Ezra, you know you can't go undercover again."

"I'm aware of the peculiar attention being paid to how well I dress," he said dryly.

"We were wondering if Chris would add a new member who could go undercover?"  Chris grimaced.  "You really do need one."

"I know."

"I have a younger agent, came highly recommended.  Was military."

"Okay," Chris said cautiously.  "Any background in this?"

"Apparently she dated someone who ran guns, which was what got her relieved of her post when she turned them in because they were another officer."

"She?" Chris asked.

"Did they try to cover it up?" Ezra asked.

"Yes," Travis said.  He looked at Chris again.  "Yes, a female.  She's twenty-six.  She sued the hell out of her commander in the public and then the Pentagon for it.  She won.  She doesn't have to work but like your guardee, she has an unnatural draw to that sort.  The same as Ezra always has."

"I think it's nice he's considered dangerous enough for the kid," Chris said with a smirk for Ezra, who shot back a dirty look.

"Only the truly stupid have doubted he could be dangerous when necessary," Travis said dryly.  "What do you think?  Can you help her, Ezra?"

"I can do so easily enough.  Are you thinking she'll be taking my place?"

"I don't know," Travis admitted.  "That depends on if you become the First Husband, doesn't it?"

"True," he admitted.

"Though we'd be called back to guard them again," Chris said dryly.

"You've been requested right now."

"I heard," Chris grumped.

"I leave that up to the team.  You know I can travel to him whenever I want to."

"True."  He looked at Travis again.  "I want to talk to her."

"Since you might be going back, she's in DC right now.  She'll come from the head office if you're staying here."

"Meeting!" Chris bellowed.  The others piled in.  "Two things.  Travis wants us to train a new undercover operative.  She's not a newbie by any stretch, former military."

"She?" JD asked.  "It'll be kinda weird working with a girl, Chris."

"JD, she can kick Chris's rear," Travis told him.  "She passed the Special Forces exams."  Chris smirked at that.  He had been a SEAL with Buck.

"Girls have a lot more problems undercover," Buck said.

"She will and can handle it," Travis said.  "The head office is worried about her if she doesn't have a good team behind her.  She's routinely hated because she turned in her boyfriend and fellow officer for running guns when she was military.  Then sued."

Buck nodded.  "I heard about that.  She was a pretty girl at least."

"Which could put her in more danger," Vin said quietly.  "Cowboy?"

"I'm leaving this a team decision.  We'd have to get used to her.  As a second point, we were asked to go back to DC for another year or five."

Vin looked at Ezra.  "How is it?"

"He's a very nice date," he said with a smile.  "Do not make this decision based on that.  I can travel, as can he."

"He bought the farm up the road from Chris anyway," Vin said dryly.  "Do we think it'll be more than a year again?"  Chris nodded.  Ezra shrugged.  "So probably?"

"He's trying very hard not to get elected to the higher office," Ezra assured them.  "He has had to beat two different guards at the White House for remarking on our relationship.  Both in sparring.  They were not happy and then John Sheppard got them the next day to make them truly miserable.  Apparently he's on par with the senior slayers."

"Definitely," Chris agreed. "Harris keeps up with them, which amazes me sometimes."

Vin shrugged.  "I wouldn't mind working with her if we think she can handle it."

Buck shrugged.  "I can help toughen her up if she needs it and if not, it'll be nice to have a pretty face to stare at sometimes."

"Her current assignment is in a supply closet because one of her former team tried to get fresh and she sent him to the ICU for a week," Travis told him.  "Apparently he drunkenly pinned her against a wall against her will and she dealt with it."

Ezra snickered.  "Then she will probably be tough enough to handle the dark world of the undercover circuit."  He looked at the others.  "Nathan, I know you'll miss your nagging time."

"Oh, hush," he ordered.  He looked at the others.  "Rain would be upset with me if we went to DC but she might understand and the boy could pout at her again."

JD shrugged.  "I got to take some classes on the new technology coming out and things the last time.  Plus I got to hang out at the Smithsonian all I wanted."

"There are many fine locations of higher learning in the city," Ezra agreed.  He leaned against the wall.

Vin smirked at him.  "Sore?"

"No.  Nothing has progressed beyond dating, no matter how much John Daniel tried his damndest to make it so."

JD grinned.  "It'd make you both happy."

"We're making sure of that before either of us moves onto a more intimate stage."  Xander appeared in a flash of light with the dogs.  "Problems?" he asked casually.

"Yeah," he said with a grin.  He handed Travis the ID's he had confiscated.  "I just had to shoot a few of your people from this office."  He groaned, looking at them.  "And another FBI agent."  He handed that one to Ezra.

Ezra looked and nodded.  "From the Atlanta office.  They disagreed with your choice of paramour?"

"They disagreed with my choice of breathing.  I was out running with the dogs and they shot both my guards in the leg then tried me."  He looked at Travis.  "I don't know why."

"I do," he assured him. "I'll be in DC in a few hours, Mr. Harris."

"Thank you."  He smiled at Chris.  "Dawn said hi.  She wanted to know how you cured JD from pouting so she can stop her daughter doing it again."

"I'll write Dawn later.  Did you beam in?"

"No.  I Dawn'd in."  He smirked and headed back to the mess.  The local PD and FBI agents all straightened up.  "I went to tell their supervisor they're stupid fucks.  They're out of the Denver office and apparently hated like hell that Chris Larabee was a good man and runs a great team."  He looked at his guards, who were pouting.

"I knew you two could handle it for a few minutes."  He looked around.  "Did we leave Mamma dog?"  His other one barked.  He texted Ezra, getting back that Travis would bring his mutt to him.  He texted a thank you and put his phone back.  He looked at the local FBI person.  "The one that was from the Atlanta office got handed over as well.  AD Travis, who is above Special Agent Larabee, will be out in a few hours."

"That's fine, sir.  We should move you before someone tries to take advantage of this."

Xander stared at him for a minute.  "How do we still have gou'ald down here?"  The man gave him a horrified look, backing away.  "I dated Amonet for a while," he said with a grin.  The man's eyes glowed and he tried to attack but Xander kicked his ass.  "He's got a gou'ald larva, guys."  He called.  "Colonel Lorne, why are you answering John's phone?  That's fine then.  No, I just got attacked by a gou'ald.  Guys, arrest him.  They can save his stupid ass."  He smiled.  "Yes, in the park.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Someone from the SGC will come pick the idiot up."  He stared at him.  "Were they hiding or did you break something?"

"I broke something," he moaned.  "This human is pathetic," it said once the eyes glowed and the voice changed.  "You will be a proper Queen's property.  Amonet was clearly too weak."

"Well, my boyfriend might disagree with that," Xander said dryly.  "And I can't get you pregnant so you can have baby snakes either."

"Still you are what we need.  We will figure out a way," he sneered.

Xander shook his head.  "No you won't."  He petted his dog, picking up a stick to play fetch with him.  The dog got happier and he was occupied until Evan Lorne got there.  "Colonel.  He said many queens want my ass to own."

"I don't think Colonel Sheppard would like that, sir."  He smirked at him, looking at the mess.  "All this was them?"

"No, the others were an attempted gay bashing or something equally fucking stupid."  He stared at him.  Then he threw the stick.  His dog ran off and brought it back.  "Good boy."

"Where's the other?" Evan asked.  Xander was the sort to baby his pets and if one was injured he would be at the vet's pacing and swearing.

"Denver.  Coming back later with AD Travis."

"Okay.  Why?"

"They were his people, all but one."  He smirked.  "I thought he should know."  He pointed.  "He's the idiot who broke something in a museum."

"I saw that in the news."  He hauled him up.  The eyes glowed and the man started to swear at him.  "Fat chance."  He walked him off to send him back to the base to get freed.  They'd find out how many others were in the city.  He looked at Xander.  "Sir, Colonel Sheppard just called and said I am to guard you back to the White House."

"That's fine, Colonel.  Gentlemen, did you need my gun?" he asked.

"Yes, sir, just for the sake of the investigation," one of the agents said.  Xander handed it over.  The agent bagged it and handed it off.  "You do know that there's other agents who might not like your lifestyle, sir?"

Xander stared at him then around then back at him.  "If I have to clean out the agency this way I'll be really pissed that they can't grow up and learn to ignore whoever I'm dating unless they're evil.  It's not my fault their parents did a crappy job."  He walked around him.  "C'mon, Pappa dog."  The dog jogged over to walk with him and Evan.  "You'd think agents had better things to do and a higher job than wondering who I'm dating."

"You'd think," Evan agreed.  "Though apparently they had too much time to think instead of work."

"I can send one of my former dates to Denver if they need more bad guys."

"I doubt Agent Larabee would like that, sir," Evan said dryly.  "He seemed like he'd hate it actually."

"Probably," he admitted.  They got into the car and headed back to the White House.  "Can we stop and get a milk shake?"

"Sure," he decided.  "Make it a quick one and you're buying."  Xander grinned at him for that.  He parked and they went in.  Xander ordered, flirting with the girl behind the counter.  It made her happy and her eyes glow.  Evan shook his head, calling that in so they could get some backup.  He excused her as coming with him as she had an idea for him.  They walked out the back door, well within plain sight of her bosses.  Where Evan got her down and arrested.  Her boss and two of her coworkers rushed out.  Xander got them down and cuffed too.  One wasn't snaked, just influenced.  Evan got them beamed back too.  They picked up their milkshakes with a smile and a 'they'll be back later this week' before they left.  "Any more stops?" Evan asked once they were in the car.

"I have the urge for fries but the White House chef makes excellent fries."

"Thank you, sir."  He drove them off again, sipping his milk shake.  He definitely deserved one today.  They arrived and found John waiting.  "All safe and sound, sir."

"Thank you, Colonel. A gou'ald in DC, Xander?"

"Yeah."

"Five, sir," Evan corrected.  "Four taking over the world from a shake place."  John winced, rubbing his forehead.  "I remember Dr. McKay giving you that headache," he teased.

John took Xander's milkshake, walking off shaking his head.  He had it tested by the Secret Service guards but it was only a milkshake so he got a treat too.  He also got the report on the rest of the problem Xander had and called the director to talk to him too.  Another treat in his full day.  Then he called Ezra to tell him to come back to DC to calm his boyfriend down and hopefully marry him in a hugely open ceremony so people would leave him alone.  He hung up and finished his milkshake.  The kitchen sent up some fries too.  It was a good treat.

***

Ezra showed up in the Senate, waving at Xander.  He excused himself, coming out to get his dog.  "Thank you."

"You're quite welcome."  He smiled.  "We're coming back to guard you considering what happened this morning.  A queen gou'ald?"

"They think they want me."  He shrugged.   "Amonet apparently bragged way back when."

Ezra shook his head.  "Your past is your past."  He took a quick kiss.  "Go do your duty.  We'll have dinner later?"

"Please."  He grinned and walked inside with the dog.  A few sneezed.  "Sorry.  Had to have her picked up."  He sat down.  "Sit, Mamma."  He laid down beside his feet.  "Good girl."

The majority leader looked at him.  "You named your dog Mamma?"

"When I first got them, the female had just given birth.  So they're Mamma and Pappa dogs."  The dog barked.  He smiled and petted her.

The Majority leader shook his head with a sigh.  "You have quite a unique mind."

"Aren't you glad?"

"Dearly so."  He got back to his oration of reasons why his idea was a good one.  Even though it wasn't.  He noticed the guard that changed out and hurried up to sit down.  Clearly something had happened again.

Xander looked at his new guard, who shrugged.  He shook his head.  "Do we have any movement on the Senator's suggestions?" he called.

"I say he send that to the committee that would handle it," one senator called from her seat.

"I agree," another said.  "He's trying to bypass the committee."

Xander nodded.  "Let's vote on that?"  Everyone voted to send it to committee.  "Motioned to send his plan to committee is passed.  Do we have any other motions before us today?"  No one said anything.  "Last call before I close this session of the Senate.  Do we have any other motions before us today?"  No one said anything.  "Then I declare this session closed.  I'll see all of you in the morning."  He banged his gavel and they moved to talk to each other.  Xander looked at his guard.  "Was there a problem?" he asked quietly as he stood up.  His dog followed him down and out to the hallway.

"No, sir, a few of the agents wanted to talk to you about earlier," he said.   He led him to a room with five other agents waiting.

Xander got that bad feeling.  "We needed a statement about this morning?"

"No, sir, we think that you doing disgusting things in Congress is a problem," one said, taking a swing.

The dog barked.  "Down," Xander ordered, ducking the swing and attacking back.   The dog ran out to get her master some help but Xander was going to wipe the floor with them.

One of the senators saw the dog running his way.  "He lost her?" he guessed.  His guard stiffened.  When the dog barked he followed her back.  "Oh, shit, not here," the senator muttered, following and pushing his panic button.  Harris could be brutal if someone had attacked him.

"What is going on here!" the new guard bellowed.

"He started it," one of them shouted back.

"As if," Xander sneered.  "They threw the first swing because I gave Ezra a kiss."  He let the one he had in a headlock go.  Another one tried to kick him and he knocked him out.  "I don't throw the first punch."

The guard looked around.  "There's a camera and a hidden camera in here, sir.  Come out in the hall and please calm down your dog.  Do you need medical attention?"

"No, I'm sure Nathan will fuss the hell out of me."  He wiped at a spot on his cheek that had broken open.  "I'll be fine.  Please go confiscate those tapes."

"Yes, sir."  He called that order in to his command center and went to personally view them.  He came back with the bagged tapes.  "You'd think that after all that training you would have better form for hitting, sir."

Xander shrugged.  "That was mostly for sword work."

He got the other guards in there.  "Arrest them.  That one," he said with a point, "threw the first punch."  They waded in.  He looked at his penultimate boss.  "We do have hidden cameras in all open areas in case of assaults or other problems, sir."

"I know that.  I helped design where they went."  He smiled.  "They did start it."

"I know, sir.  They also had a helper in the camera room.  He was not pleased."  He helped him up.  "Senator Miller?"

"Go with him."

"I'm sure by now someone's already stomping this way," Xander said.  "He's your guard, Senator Miller.  With the threat against your wife, you need him more right now."  That senator smiled and left with his guard once he had turned over the tapes to the Director.  "Director," Xander greeted.

"What happened?"

"Ezra showed up with my dog earlier since I accidentally left him in Denver this morning."

"You made it to Denver and back since last night?" he asked.

"I used my emergency transport option after the attack this morning."

"I've heard."

"I had both dogs with me and accidentally left her."  He petted his dog's head, making her groan and lean against him.  "Good girl to get the daddy help."  He smiled.  "Ezra dropped her off with me so I wouldn't have to worry."  He pointed.  "That one showed up in the Senate like a usual guard would and said that a few agents wanted to talk about earlier.   The others were waiting.  That one," he said with a point, "threw the first punch.  My dog went to get help, bringing Senator Miller and his guard, who got help to stop them and arrest them."

"Why would they attack you?" the director asked.

"He's dirtying and disgracing Congress' hall by kissing his immoral lover here," one shouted.  He kicked at the agent holding him.

"I barely kissed him in thanks," Xander said.

"That's something that will have to be straightened out."

"I thought they all had too much to do to worry about who I'm dating," Xander said dryly.  "Apparently I've been wrong twice today."  He stood up.  "I hope there isn't a third one that would have to turn out like this morning."  He walked around him.  "Come on, Mamma dog."  The dog followed, going outside.  She got taken across the street to pee then they got in the car.  Then out of the car so Xander could check it over before he started it.  He got back in and they drove back to the White House.   He parked and walked the dog inside.  "I swear if someone else tries to gay bash me today I'm going to kill every fucking one of them," he told Evan when he ran into him.

"Please do since they're a disgrace to the country, sir.  I'll escort you to the infirmary."

"I only need an ice pack."

"Tough.  President's orders.  That way they can check for prior injuries from this morning."  He walked him and the dog down there.

"The dog does not belong in here," the paramedic in there said.

Xander stared at him.  "I like the dog more than you.  Give me some bandages please?"  The man gaped.  He stared.  "Now."  He got sat down and the paramedic pulled on some gloves.  "I'm fine."

"I'm sure, sir, but a few of those need butterflies."  He pulled out the alcohol pads.  "What happened, sir?  Were you attacked?"

"Yup.  Gay bashed actually.  And that goes no further, Evan."

"I'm not going to tell anyone, sir.  It's not my job.  Even though plenty will probably hear from gossip."  He watched as he was bandaged, his chest and arms were checked.  Nothing broken or badly bruised.  The few cuts.  "Did one have on a ring?"  Xander nodded.

"Please hold still, sir," the paramedic said.  He finished up.  "There you go."  He took off his gloves and put up the extra supplies.  "I hope it doesn't happen again."

"Me too."  He stood up and walked off.  "Thank you.  Mamma, let's go play outside."  The dog ran for the entrance they used for that.  He barked until Xander caught up.  Pappa came running and they went to play some fetch.

Chris Larabee walked over to the door, standing beside Evan.  "Again?  He wasn't that injured this morning."

"Apparently."

"Ezra is going to get pissed."

"He said next time he was going to shoot them first."

"Good."  He walked out there.  "Xander, you okay?"

"I'm fine.  I'm working off my bad mood."

"Okay.  Want me to tell Ez?"

"Hell no."

"Fine."  He went inside.  "Colonel, go tell Agent Standish."

"He told me not to tell anyone, sir."  He smiled.  "He didn't give you that sort of order."

"Ezra will kill the messenger if they can't duck fast enough."  He went to do the bad telling.  He found John and Ezra talking.  "Can I have my agent for a moment?"

"Is this about the five gou'alds he found today?" John asked dryly.

"No.  It's about the attempted gay bashing at congress today."

Ezra stared at him, his eyes cold.  "Excuse me?"

"He's not badly hurt.  A few cuts, a fat lip, a few bruises.  A black eye.  I'm sure they look worse."

"Where is my errant boyfriend?"

"Outside working off his bad mood with fetch."

"Thank you," he said calmly, walking out there.  He watched the boy from the door for a minute.  "How many were there, Colonel?"

"Six from the rumors, sir."

"Hmm."  He walked out there, closing the door firmly behind him.  Xander glanced over but tossed the stick again.  He stared at him.  "They decided you were wrong for what reason?" Ezra asked after a few more throws.  He walked closer.

"Apparently I disgraced the halls of Congress by kissing you and I don't rightly give a damn but if it happens again today I'm going to kill all the bitches."

"Good."  He made Xander look at him.  "Hmm.  Nathan?"

"Infirmary.  Lorne made sure of it."

"I doubt that will get you out of Nathan's tender mercies."  He took a kiss, earning a smile.  "Eventually we will run out of agents like that."

"I hope so within the hour."

"As do I.  This morning was not about that however."  Xander stared at him.  The dogs nudged them so Xander threw the sticks.  Ezra tossed it the next time.  "This morning's was more about the rumors someone in Atlanta spread.  Thinking that you were now corrupt as well."

"Hmm.  Pity.  Why didn't they try to stop me when I was dating arms dealers?"

"You weren't the vice president then but I would love to hear about any that haven't been captured."

Xander smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek.  "We'll see."  He looked at the waiting dogs.  "I need lunchies."  They barked and their tails wagged, they ran around them until they walked inside.  Then they headed for the kitchen at a run.  "Wait for us," Xander called.  They paused for them to catch up then jogged ahead again.

"They are very amusing and patient children," Ezra said.

"Yes, they are."  He leaned into the kitchen, watching the new cook chastize them.  "They're allowed in that corner.  That's where their emergency bowls are.  Good dogs."  They sat down and stared at the empty bowls then at the cook, who huffed but found the dog food for them.  "Can you add some gravy from the jar in the fridge?  They really like that and they were both very good dogs today," Xander said.  He sat down at the counter in there.  "And can I have something calming for lunch with Ezra?"

The cook stared at him.  "Someone was stupid enough to attack you?" he asked in a French accent.  Xander nodded, holding up two fingers.  "Of course!  Crepes?"

"I don't care.  Comfort food sort of food.  Ezra knows high cuisine, I just know good food."  The cook nodded, going to fix that for him.  The dogs were happy munching their lunch too.  They got fed and ate down there.  Everyone could find them.  The chef walked in and stared at him.  "How's the gossip train going?"

"Fast and out of control," he assured him.  He tipped the boy's face up to the light.  "Could have been worse."

"I could've had to shoot those too," Xander said dryly.  "Like the ones earlier."  He ate another bite.   Their chef huffed and went to make something to add to their plates, plus some meat scraps for the dogs that he got off the griddle.   They both loved him for spoiling them.

Ezra ate the very good food.  "We don't get food like this in the cafeteria."

"It's a privilege of the First Family and he takes shameless advantage of us," the chef said with a smirk.  "He is usually a good boy, like his dogs."  He got back to work on dinner.  "Is the President going to be working late?"

"I don't know, I'll ask Chuck when I walk past him on the way back to my office," Xander said.  He put his empty dishes in the dishwasher, taking Ezra's to do the same.  "Thanks, guys.  C'mon, puppies."  They finished their food and followed.

The chef smiled at his second.  "He is a very nice boy and the dogs are very good dogs.  They stay in their corner so they don't shed everywhere."  He got back to work.  Chuck called a few minutes later to tell him about the diplomatic dinner that night.  The chef smiled.  "We're good.  He's got a diplomatic dinner so we'll only have to leave a sandwich in his rooms."  That got a nod and they went back to the cafeteria's food.  The other staffers would need a good lunch to handle this problem.

***

John stomped into the press room that afternoon, looking around.  "I've been told that my vice president had a problem today.  Whoever else wants to continue this problem will be met with hostility.  They will be fought back against and if he can't for whatever reason, you will face me," he told the cameras.  "There will be no more attacks on him for daring to be happy.  We like Xander being happy.  He deserves it after so many years of risking his life and soul for this planet and the ungrateful people who attacked him today.

"Should I hear of another incident I will authorize a special prosecutor to try these cases to the fullest extent fo the law."  He looked around the room again.  "This petty streak of gay bashing ends or I will end it personally in the most violent manner I can since apparently that's all that those sort understand."  He looked around again.  "Any questions?"

"There was more than one attack?" one reporter asked.

"Yes, apparently some guards in Congress decided to disgrace themselves and the people they used to serve honorably by attacking him for daring to have a boyfriend.  I will not have this, even if he wasn't my vice president.  Gay bashing is the most cowardly, stupid, most idiotic reason to attack anyone.  As a result, I'm adding gay bashing to the list of Federal offenses.  That means it is now an A class felony to gay bash *anyone*.  No matter who does it."

"Sir, were they agents?"

"A few.  The rest were Capitol guards.  I wish them good luck getting a job after prison."  He glared.  "Any other questions?"

"Is Mr. Harris all right?" one asked.

"A bit bruised, a few minor cuts from one's ring.  There were six of them.  They needed the whole gang to feel manly enough to attack him," he said dryly.  "Which is why I'm fairly certain they're going to be rotting in hell before they get a job in this government again.  After they get out of the prison infirmary."

"Sir, is he now dating his former guard?"

"Yes, all of you who pushed that theory made them talk and they found out that they are well suited.  Even if Ezra does make him shop."  He walked off.  He signed the presidential resolution and sent it with the press secretary.  It was not going to happen again or he would show them what he learned in Pegasus.

Chuck walked in and looked at his boss and friend.  "Colonel, calm down," he said quietly.  "Please?  Before you break out the bantos rods and take on the whole Secret Service to kick their asses."

John smiled.  "I don't think I can beat all of them on the same day, Chuck."

"Xander thinks he can, he said it takes artillery."

John laughed.  "True, it probably would."  He stared at him.  "How is he?"

"Moping that he had to beat them.  Still upset over this morning."  John nodded.  "He said you can't fight for him either.  That's his job.  Ezra said it was his job but Xander patted him on the arm and reminded him he fought better."  John nodded at that.  "Other than that, you're going back into the Colonel of Doom mindset that you got whenever the city was attacked, sir.  Please?"

"Fine."

"Thank you, Colonel.   Want some ice cream from the kitchen?"

"I'll go down to get some.  I could use the walk."  He walked down to get an ice cream sandwich and then took the dogs out to play.  "Maybe I need a dog."  One of the leaving reporters stopped and took pictures.  "It's stress relieving."

"I'm sure it is, sir, and you look good with the dogs."  He left with a smile.  The scary colonel played fetch and gave the dogs dropped pieces of ice cream.  They were so spoiled.

John smiled, tossing the stick again.  They ran off to fetch it.  It was very blood pressure relieving.  Maybe he'd have to think about a dog.   Maybe some sort of spaniel.  Something that would be at home on Atlantis and not get into too much trouble.  He played a few more rounds of fetch then petted the dogs and took them back inside.  They ran out to pee then came back inside.  "Good, dogs."  He led them back to Xander's office.   "They peed."

"Good dogs," Ezra said, petting them both.  He nodded at where Xander was asleep in his chair, getting a smile from John.

***

John walked into the pound with the two dogs.  "Hi."

"Sir!  Are you dropping them off?"

"No!"  He smirked.  "They have to get along with whichever I pick out.  I need something mid-sized that I can ignore on the bad days but wants to play now and then.   I was thinking a spaniel sized thing."

"Of course, sir.  Bring them this way so they can make friends."  He followed her.  The dogs were well behaved.  "Are those the Vice President's dogs?"

"Yup.  This is Mamma and Pappa."

She smiled.  "I heard how good they were and why he adopted them.  We were all very proud."  She found a few.  "This three are on their last days.  This one is a new one but we haven't had a chance to test him yet."

John looked at the last day dogs, cooing at the one that was giving him the sad puppy eyes.  "Xander gives me that same look when I steal his ice cream."  She giggled, letting that one out.  The St. Bernards wouldn't go near it.  He tried to get them to sniff but they wouldn't.  "Is it sick?"

"I don't think so."  She read the cage tags.  "Oh, yes, he is.  He's got a small tumor.  It could be easily removed.  We've had some interest but not once they hear the medical needs."

John nodded.  "How much would get it removed?"

"Probably about twelve hundred."

John nodded.  That one went back and her face fell.  He picked out one that came out to sniff the other two dogs and then him, barking playfully at him.  "You're sweet.  Are you a boy or a girl?"

"The cage says boy, sir."

"Hmm.  Fixed?"

"Yes, sir."

John smiled.  "Friendly usually?"

"Very friendly and he's a bit of a follower.  Tried to follow someone home a few times.  That's why they called us to get him."

"Hmm."  He petted him and checked the other dog.  That one was shying away from him.  "I understand, sweetheart.  Calm down."  He closed the cage and the dog quit cowering.  "Let me take this one?"

She nodded.  "I'm sure he'll be an excellent addition to the White House pets, sir."  She took him to fill out the paperwork.  She had hopes that he would donate as well.  Her prayers for that one dog were answered.  He donated a large sum.  "Oh, thank you, sir."

"Run an adoption fair or something," he said with a smile.   "Everyone needs to have a happy pet like Xander does."  He walked his dog out with the other two.  His guards gave the dog an odd look.  "They get along very well."

"Very good, sir."  He smirked on his way around the back of the car.  He slid in to drive.  "Should we stop at the pet warehouse?"

"Please."  They drove off and he petted all three of the dogs.  The stop at the pet warehouse meant a lot of buying.  Toys, beds, leash and bowls.  New collar.  Toys for Xander's dogs since they were his step-mutts.  Treats.  They finally managed to get out of there after spending nearly three hundred bucks.  He thoughtfully separated the bags for which dog they went to.  They dropped Xander's dogs at his house with their bags of treats and toys.  Then they went back to the White House.  "What should we name you?" he asked him.  He barked and wagged his tail.  "Can we let him water a bush?"  The car pulled over and John got the dog out to let him water as many bushes as he wanted.  Then they got back into the car and finished the drive.

The Beginning of the End.

Xander came down the next morning, finding his dogs back, and they had apparently robbed a pet store.  "Did John buy you toys?" he said with a smile.  He unwrapped something they only had gotten half undone.  Mamma dog settled in to chew on the rawhide.  Pappa had pigs ears to chew on.  He had a few littered around.

Xander put up the rest and went to make coffee and breakfast.  The dogs came in to get their own food and went back to playing.  "You guys can bring a toy with you to the farm."  He put down cups.  "Ezra, coffee," he called.  Ezra came down from the guest room.  He had said they weren't ready to getting groiny yet.  Ezra stumbled in and took his cup to sip.  Xander grinned, coming over to smooth down his hair.  "Good morning."

"Good morning."  He took a kiss.  "Did I hear mention of food?"

"Baking.  You have time to take a shower."  Ezra nodded, taking his coffee up to his bathroom.

Xander checked, let the dogs out, then went to clean up after them.  He came in to toss out the poop bag and washed his hands thoroughly.  Ezra smiled from the table.  "They needed cleaned up after."  He washed them again to make sure nothing was on them then pulled out the food.  Ezra had said that he had dog fur in his dinner last night.  "We can brush them after the ride?"

"That's a great idea."  He let the dogs sneak past him under the table.  Xander would drop food for them but Ezra didn't give in to begging.  Even when they nudged his hand.  He looked down to pet her.  "You know I don't give in to begging."  She barked and settled down, giving her human a begging, starving puppy look.   "You shouldn't give in."

"I don't until the last few bites."  Xander ate his rewarmed strudel with a moan of pleasure.  "This is good.  Thank you for making me stop at the bakery."

"You're welcome.  We're both benefitting from the quick stop."  He finished up.  The dogs sniffed at him.  "You know I don't give in to begging, dogs."  Xander dropped his last two bites down for them and cleaned up their mess.  "Did you not have a cook?"

"The guards got rid fo her when they left that day. She got hired pretty fast by a hotel.  So I'm looking."  He shrugged and looked around.  "Let me clean up and I'll be back down."

"I put something out for you."

Xander smiled.  "You always make me worthy of drool."  He walked off to shower and put on whatever Ezra wanted him to wear.  "Why do I need a suit?" he called.

"You have Senate today," Ezra called.  "They'll stare less at the black eye if you're in a suit."  Xander came down looking very nice and holding sunglasses.  "I'm sure they already know," he noted.

"I know but it's bright."  He put them on.  "Are we ready?"  Ezra nodded, grabbing his jacket.  "Did you get to pack?"

"Some."  He smiled.  "I can shop as easily as I make you shop."  He walked them out and to the car.  "When are you going to finish that condo?"

"Next month sometime.  That way it can sell before I leave DC."

"I doubt we'll be leaving anytime soon."  He looked around.  "Aren't we going to the farm?"

"That's what I thought."  He called his assistant.  Xander ran up to put on jeans and a t-shirt, grabbing a different jacket.  Ezra changed into more casual clothes.  The dogs got into the car with them and they drove out to the farm.  "We have three whole hours," he announced.  The dogs barked, heading for the stables.  They came out looking around.  "Must already be out.  Companion?"  She neighed.  So did Ezra's horse.  They saddled them and walked them out.  "Let's catch up with the herd."  He looked at the dogs.  "Stay and guard, kids."  They laid down in front of the barn.  He and Ezra rode off.

Buck looked back when he heard them.  "You two sleep in?" he taunted with a smirk.

"Ezra said he's not ready for massive amounts of cuddling I unleash every night," Xander shot back with an evil smirk.  "He got to sleep with the dogs though."  Chris snickered, shaking his head.  "So, where are we going today?  I have two and a half hours."

"We're doing the minor loop today."  They nodded and rode off, the others riding around them.  It was safer that way.  It brought them back behind the house.  The dogs were growling at them and the car.  "What happened to you two?" Chris asked.

"Down," Xander called.  They whimpered.  He dismounted and walked closer to the car.  They growled at him.  "Huh.  Barn!  Now!"  They ran that way.  Xander found his phone and went to check over the car.   "I mean it."  They snuck back to the barn.  "Shit.  We have a timer."

"Move the horses behind the barn," Chris ordered.  "Dogs too."  He petted them.  "Good dogs to warn us."   They got put on leashes by JD and led with the horses.  He had to go back for Xander.  "Can you disarm it?"

"No.  It's got thirty minutes."  He checked his watch.  "Just before we were supposed to leave."  He walked off to calm down his pets.  The ATF bomb disposal unit got there before it went off.   Xander leaned around the barn.  "No explosion?"

"No, sir.  Is this your car?"

"Yup."

"Damn it."  He got the bomb off the car.  "We need to take it for processing, sir."

"That's fine.  We can drive him," Chris said.  "Check the others please."  They moved to do that.  They found one on Ezra's car.  He looked at the kid, who shrugged.  "Anything like notes?"

"No, sir."

"I'm to know what you find first," Chris ordered.  He handed over his card.

"Yes, sir.  Did you see anything?"

"We were riding.  The dogs were here.  They growled at us when we got near the car."

"We knew the dogs were good.  They deserve treats, Larabee.  That was a nasty bomb."  They finished up checking things and left them alone.

Xander came out of the barn from putting up his and Chris's mares.  "When you find out, let me know?"

"When they're begging to be raped in jail."  He went to check his mare, smiling at how spoiled she was feeling.  "You did good, kid.  Buck, drive 'em home to change and then to the Senate."

Xander checked his watch.  "No time to change."  He looked at Ezra.  "Dinner out?"

"Would be a nice place to wear that suit."

Xander smirked and slid into his sunglasses so they could leave.  Traffic was nasty so Xander got there when they were deciding who was going to take his spot.  "Sorry, was at the farm and traffic's a bitch today."  He sat down and took off his sunglasses.  A few hissed.  He shrugged.  "I've had worse on patrol, people.  He banged his gavel.  "Let's call this session to order.  What do we have in front of us today?" he asked the one who recorded the agenda.

"We have three possible bills, sir, and a vote on whether or not we want to overturn the newest presidential edict."

"That can go last," Xander ordered.  "People, let's start."  They sat down.  "What's the first movement?"

"A movement on the bill to increase the FDA's responsibilities over the food supply in cases of outbreak," he announced.  The senators for that came up to talk about it.

Xander raised a hand.  "A question.  Why do we not test the food before we release it?  That way we don't have to have recalls?"

"It can take some time to test some things," one of the senators said.  "I asked that myself.  They said it was impractical and would slow the food getting to the people."

"Is it that impractical or is it something that better science would make faster?"

"Probably better science would make faster."

Xander nodded.  "Okay.  Can we add to the bill that they actively research faster ways to test things before they get released on the public and we get sick?"

"I can add an amendment commanding them to actively research safer and faster tests," the bill's sponsor said.  "Frankly most of us think they should already be doing that but they might not be."

"I doubt they have since the tests haven't gotten any faster in my life," Xander quipped.  A few snickered and nodded.  That got added and they went back to arguing over it.  It was probably going to pass soon.  The next one was pointless and Xander yawned through most of it, rubbing his jaw a few times.  The third one was even more pointless.  Xander looked at the person pushing it.  "Grow up.  Please?  Just ... grow up."  The man glared.  Xander stared back.

"No one cares what you think about religion.  We have a first amendment for a reason.  It's heretics who only read part of the book, only pay lip service to what little they have read, and who try to force their faith on others."  He stomped back to his seat.  "Does anyone want this motion to continue?"  One raised her hand.  "Does he have a second?"  No.

"Then I move this movement declined as pointless.  Plus a waste of time since it'd have to go to the Supreme Court to be tossed out."  He banged his gavel.  "Okay, we have our argument of the week," he sighed.  "Let's start arguments against.  I'm sure there's plenty of you."

A few glared.  He glared back.  One stepped up to speak.  "There is already a law covering it.  We don't feel that the new punishment will do more than muddy most cases.  As much as I believe that the higher penalty is necessary and correct, it does unfortunately mimic the present law."

"Can we get a copy of the present law put up?" Xander asked.  The agenda keeper found it in the system and put it up.  And a second one.  He read them over.  "I don't see where upping the penalty will cause a conflict, Senator.  Would you please explain your reasoning?"

He looked at him.  "I know it was bad."

"Senator, that was the second yesterday.  The first I ended up shooting the people who shot the guards I was jogging with in the leg."  He shuddered.  "This morning there was a bomb put on my car when I was riding.  If they can do that to me, they can do it anyone.  How would some young kid like was at that convention early last year manage to survive?"

"I agree we need the stiffer penalty."  He looked it over then pointed.  "The bottom one is the later law.  It was passed a few years before O'Neill took office."  He reread them.  "No, I...  Can I see a copy of the new edict?"  It was put up for him.  He reread it.  "I believe this part here," he said with a point, "will contradict this part on the newer law," he said with a point.

Xander nodded.  "Okay, so it's just that part?"

"Yes, I believe that's the only one that would conflict."  He sat down.

Xander nodded.  "Does anyone have any arguments along his lines?"  A few raised their hands.  "Then let's have you next and then the other arguments so they're nicely together."  They stood up and gave their ideas, agreeing how it would contradict that law.  Xander cleared his throat.  "Would the edict cancel out that law?" he asked the last one.  She was a former law professor.

"No, in fact it would only create conflicting standards.  It would leave prosecutors and judge able to consider the lesser charge if it was not taken off the books first."  Xander took notes.  She smiled.  "The fix for it would be to change this law so it was in line with the edict, which could cause some discussion."

Xander nodded.  "I figured there will be," he assured her with a smile.  "Thank you."  She nodded and sat down.  "Okay, let's have the next branch of arguments."

One stepped up.  "I do not care who thinks what, God...."

"God rules each person on a personal level, not this Senate.  As each person sees God differently we cannot say what God does and does not want as those sections you were about to quote are misquoted all the time," another senator said.  "Beyond that, would your fifteen-year-old girlfriend like that argument?  Since God doesn't like adulterers?"  That one stomped out of the senate.

Xander smiled.  "Thank you for not making me snark about that one.   You didn't have to."

The senator shrugged.  "The religious blowhards should be preaching in a church, not in the Senate."

"This country was founded on Christian principles!" another of the blowhards said.

"Technically, it was founded mostly on greed.  Or else they would've traveled with ministers and families instead of shovels and panning equipment," another one said.  "Do we really have to listen to them?"

"By the Senate Laws, each and every one of you has the right to vent your personal opinion on anything we're discussing," Xander said dryly.  "He has the right to spew and I have the right to put on my iPod."

She smirked and pulled out hers.  "Thank you, sir."  The blowhard huffed.  "It is my right not to pollute the way I see God with the way you see him or her."  He stomped off to his seat.  She put down her iPod.   The next two religious ones were huffed at but let blow their heads out.  The next argument was more reasonable and less religion based.  That it wasn't something that should get someone a death penalty.

One stood up.  "I want to counter argue."  Xander nodded at him, pointing.  "Are you against other hate crimes being treated by a higher penalty?"

"I am.  They should get it no matter their reason.  We don't judge crimes more severe because they're done due to greed, malice, or drug-induced psychosis."

"Wrong.  Drugs being involved add up to five years depending on the state," another noted.

Xander looked at him.  "Greed and malice usually happen when someone is against something you have.  It's something that people can fight in themselves, can change for themselves, can even change their minds about.  These people do this because of something that can't be changed."

"You could date a woman."

"I could, and the last one I dated was a queen gou'ald."  The man gave him a horrified look.  "The one before that was a peaceful demon who only ran guns to off-world and off-realm wars."  The senator grabbed his stomach.  "She was actually very pretty, very nice to me.  Weapons cleaning was like foreplay.  The one I nearly married was a fired vengeance demon," he said with a smile.  "Over a thousand years old."  Everyone was staring at him.  "Plenty of dangerous women have loved me and wanted me, human and not.  I can name six terrorists off the top of my head, another seven or so assassins, a few other arms dealers."  Everyone was gaping in horror.  "I don't decide who's drawn to me.  And the science is contradictory about whether or not it's a choice to be gay.  I personally don't think so.  I tend to go for personality."

"Is your current one that dangerous?" he asked.

Xander grinned.  "He's dangerous when he needs to be, as any agent is."

"Oh, I see.  Well, you could...  No, we'd rather not have you date another woman."  Xander snickered and nodded.  "Generally though...."

"Studies have proven that fully gay men don't even start producing the chemicals that would start desire while looking at pictures of naked women," the law professor senator said.

"Studies have also proven that 'fixing it' groups who use punishment methods for gay desires to change you straight don't work," Xander agreed.  "Beyond that, off the point."

"I do not support anyone hating anyone but I do believe that your punishment should matter on the crime you did, not why you did it."

Xander nodded.  "Which is a thoughtful position to be in.  I don't begrudge you that."  He smiled and sat down.  "Any other in this line of thought?"  No one moved forward.  "Any other arguments against?"  No one.  "Arguments for?"  They stood up and were more eloquent.  "Please don't base this on me.  I'd prefer you base it on what's going to happen to some young man or woman some night because someone didn't like who they picked up in a club or who they decided to move in with."

They nodded at that, the one talking corrected his argument.  It was much more eloquent and spoke more to the harm that these sort of crimes could do to a person.  Xander looked around the room.  "As we all know, to defeat the edict, we have to have a three-quarter majority.  I call for a silent vote so no one has to defend this one.  Because even I heard the talking heads on tv."  A few laughed at that description.  The vote came close to even but not enough to overturn it.  Xander stood up.  "I'm going to make a motion to update that law so it does fit in with this edict."

"We can look at that," the law committee chairperson said.

Xander smiled.  "Thank you for moving that before the committee to see if it's necessary."  He banged his gavel.  "It's been a long day, people.  Go home."  They left.  He walked out and found Chris waiting on him.  "Hey."

Chris stared at him.  "You did good making them stay on the point," he said quietly.  "You did a good thing for the people who need it.  But if you ever date anyone like that, especially if you dump Ezra for it, I will kill you in the most horrible manner I can."

"I don't dump people, Chris.  I never have outside of walking away from Anya for her own good."

"Good."  He smirked.  "Home to change for your date?"

"Yup.  Ezra pulled out a nice suit and I didn't get to wear it today."  He walked out beside him.  Someone flashed a camera and took his picture.  That's why he was blinking when he heard the gunshot.  He pushed Chris down and pulled a gun, looking around.

"Got him, clear," someone shouted.

Xander relaxed, looking around again.  He helped Chris back up.  "You okay?"

Chris swatted him hard.  "I'm supposed to protect *you*," he said hotly.  "Not the other way around!"

"Sorry!  I'm not used to being protected!"

"I'm beating you for that later."

"Hey, they could've been aiming for you," Xander complained.  Chris pulled him down to the car.  He put up his gun, shrugging at the dirty looks he was getting.  "What?" he asked finally.

"Sir, it's his job to put his life on the line for you," one said.

"I spent nearly a decade and a half protecting slayers.  It's hard to break that habit."

"By the time you get out of DC, you can break that, sir."

"Maybe my last year here?"  He got into the car.  Chris checked it over and then got in to drive.  "Sorry!"

Chris reached over to swat him again, just as hard.  "You will be."

"Yes, Chris."

"Thank you!"  Ezra was going to lose his mind and yell about this.  Or maybe just go silent and cold again.  They'd have to stay out of the way of the fight.  Ezra was waiting for them at the house.

"Hi," Xander said, taking a quick kiss.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."  He looked at Chris.  "He's right.  They were aiming for you.  Someone tried Vin a few hours back and your phone is dead."  Chris looked and groaned.  He looked at Xander.  "He was still correct to spank you however.  You cannot risk yourself that way."

"I'm used to being the protector."

"I had much the same reaction."

"Don't remind me," Chris complained.  He handed Xander over.  "Here, take him, make him eat real food.  Which case?"

"The one last month is going to preliminary trial."

"Crap."  He got back in the car to check on Vin.  He got injured all too often.  Nearly as often as Ezra did.  They would protect each other so that was good.

Xander looked at him.  "I honestly just reacted from instinct," he said quietly.

"I do the same so we'll do it to each other."  He gave him a nudge.  "Go shower and change.  That way you're not carrying any politician germs."  Xander smiled and jogged up to do that.  Ezra looked up then at the dogs.  "I clearly have met my match," he told the dogs.  They came over to snuffle and pet him.  "I do adore you two as well.  Inside if you're done."  They ran back to pee on a few more plants then went inside.  Ezra went to spiff himself up.  He had chosen a nice restaurant for their dinner out.  Xander came strolling out and locked the door behind himself.  "The alarm?"

"Armed and I called to note that the dogs were inside and the one door was cracked for them.  They're monitoring the movement inside."  He took Ezra's arm.  "Your car?"

"Yours is getting too well known," he said.  He walked him over, helping him in.  Then Ezra walked around to get in.  He drove them to the restaurant and found press there.  "This was not what I had planned."  He called Metro PD to come break them up.  He and Xander walked inside once they were disbursed.  "All that for us?" he asked the receptionist.

"No, sir, we have two stars who are testifying tomorrow in front of the House eating here."  She smiled and walked them to the private room.

"Thank you," Ezra said, tipping her.  He sat down once Xander did, smiling at him.  "It does feel odd not to have to pull out chairs."

"I'm... not the first, right?" he asked quietly.  "If so, I should be the one wooing."

"No.  You don't have to worry that I'm some twittering virgin sort, Xander."  Xander beamed at that.  He handed him a menu that had been left.  "They have delightful pasta here."

"Just don't make me eat steak.  They might elect me to something else."  Ezra gave him an odd look so he explained that superstition.  Ezra snickered at the story, deciding against the steak.  Xander looked over the menu.  "Can you explain what some of these are to me?" he asked quietly.

"Of course."  He shifted closer to see.  "That whole section is steak until you get to the lobster tails.  Which are decadent and very sweet this time of year."

"I've never had any.  I don't want to tempt fate though."  Ezra nodded he understood.  He pointed at something.  "Pasta?"

"Pasta with chicken.  It's supposed to be nice."  Xander pointed at another one.  "That one has fried chicken strips for some crunch."

Xander looked then nodded.  "I'll get that."  Ezra smiled, shifting back so he could order for them.  The waiter brought salads and they nibbled while they waited on the full meal.  It was nice.  They talked about things like getting the dogs shaved down.  Plus how to change his wardrobe in case the tragic should happen and Xander got elected president.  Xander nearly shuddered at the threat of more shopping but Ezra soothed him and it was better.

***

John got beamed back to the city.  "C'mon, Blackhawk."  The dog trotted after him, sniffing at everything.

Evan stopped to stare at the dog.  "Sir, is that..."

"Blackhawk."  He grinned.  "He's very stress relieving."

"I'm sure he is," he agreed.  He went to warn Ronon.  He had sneezed at some of the dog fur from the St. Bernards John had worn home one time.

Teyla cooed at the dog, making his ears stand up as he stared at her.  "She's friendly," John said.  "You can pet him, Teyla.  Let him sniff you first."

She let the dog sniff her hand then petted him.  "You are very pretty."

"He's very smart.  He's already learned which guards will give in to begging and playing time when I can't."  He smiled and helped her up, walking off with her and the dog.  The dog went running and barking.

Willow looked at the dog barking at her.  "I know I like cats, calm down!"  He stared at her.  She tested it for magic.  "You're not changed."

"He was in the pound.  Maybe his last human was a redhead." John said.

"Maybe."  She let it sniff her hand then petted the ears.  "Good dog."  It barked and ran to sniff the other new people.

John smiled.  "I'm introducing him around."  He walked on with Teyla, talking about her son and other things going on.  The dog got to play with all the soldiers and half the scientists.  Some of them were cat people.  And Radek liked birds.  By the time John went back to DC, the dog was tired and so was he.  Pretty soon he'd get to come home for good.  Then he could hide and relax.  He'd take the wraith over the press and the politicians any day!

***

Xander was dancing and ignoring it was primary night once again.  Ezra was helping him forget things beautifully.  He smiled and took a kiss, moving closer to dance with him.  "Reporter behind you and to the right," he whispered in his ear.  He spun them around so Ezra could see.  Ezra laughed and danced them off into the shadows so they could disappear.  Ezra nodded at one of the guards and then at the reporter.

He knew, thanks to much training by the whole team, to distract the reporter while they got away.  Ezra took over driving duties and they rode off to the farm.  The dogs were with Chris tonight so the house could be bug bombed.  They could go play with the horses.  Xander giggled and pulled Ezra in to kiss him better.

They hadn't gotten past the touching stage yet.  Ezra was taking it very slowly.  Ezra helped him pet the horses, letting them get back to sleep.  They went to the tack room.  It was quiet back there and they could talk and be uninterrupted.  If they had to, they could even sleep back there.

Xander laid down his jacket and they sat against the wall, just next to each other.  "There's days I want to buy some Manic Panic hairdye and do a wild dye job on Companion," Xander said quietly.  "Just to see her face and Chris' face."

"Your horse would probably bite someone," Ezra said.  "Chris may well have a coronary if he saw a technicolor horse in the morning."

Xander grinned.  "I could probably get JD to help me."

"No probably about it, he would help and think it was great fun to do some to Buck's mare as well."  Xander smirked at him.  "Not tonight."

"No, not tonight."  He put his head on Ezra's shoulder, making himself comfy.  "I listed that apartment I flipped yesterday."

"Anything good come of it?"

"Two showings but no bids."  He shrugged.  "I'll definitely get more than I paid for it since I only payed about three grand."

"Yes, you definitely should.  In that part of town it might be worth a few hundred thousand."  Xander nodded, smiling at him.  "What are you going to do tomorrow?"

"Hide.  A lot."

Ezra laughed.  "Are you worried?"

"That they won't let me go so I'll screw up the world?  Yup."

"Well, perhaps we won't have to worry."

"If not, there's like four balls that night.  Which did you want to go to?"

"Do the official ball and then skip out to one other?" he suggested.  "One that's more fun?"

"Definitely could use a last night of fun."  He shifted some to put an arm around Ezra's waist.  "There's a tea during the afternoon plus the swearing in and the parade leading up to the swearing in."

"We'll see."  He stroked over the dark hair, making Xander quit thinking bad thoughts.  He took a kiss.  "That means you'll have to get a new suit."

"Yup.  Probably have to quit wearing jeans for four years too."

"John managed it sometimes.  It all depends on the circumstances."  He took another kiss.  "Perhaps we'll get you something fashion forward this time?"

Xander grinned.  "Hip and cool?  I've never even visited that country before."

"I'm sure we can make you attractive enough that even the fussy, conservative news people would praise your body."  Xander gave him a shy grin and another kiss.  "If so, we should plan a vacation weekend before the swearing in."

"We should.  Think we can get away with somewhere sunny?"

"Probably.  That way we're not fighting snow."

"At least I don't have Buffy's celebration curse.  Anytime she celebrates good things, there's an attack."

Ezra smiled.  "No, thankfully you were not hit by that problem."  He stroked over the dark hair again.  Xander stretched and got comfortable beside him.  "Tired?"

"No.  Not tired."  He smiled shyly.  "Sore butted but not tired."  Ezra stared at him.  "I slid on the stairs last night."

"That's the thump I heard, not the dogs."

"No, not the dogs.  Unfortunately."  He shifted his weight.  These pants were a bit too tight to get hard in but that wasn't stopping him.

***

Chris walked into the barn the next morning, looking around at the sleepy horses.  "Why are we so tired?" he asked his mare, petting her nose.  She snuffled him and he petted her some more.  "Let me feed you guys."  He went to gather feed, hay, and the stuff to clean stalls.  Starting with his.  She was happy to eat and let him clean her stall for her.  The others let him as well once they had food.  Even Peso was in a good mood this morning for some reason.  He didn't get nipped at once.  Chris looked at Peso.  "Did Rosenburg hex you to be a normal horse today?"  Peso's ears flatted back but then he relaxed, shook his coat, and got happy with his breakfast again.

He checked, his and Ezra's horses were both back to sleep.  Companion was too.  "Maybe she did," he decided.  He went to get the combs so he could work on his mare's coat, finding the reason for the sleepy horses in the tack room.  He blinked at the two naked bodies before backing out slowly.  Xander didn't wake up well and Ezra would shoot him for waking him up.  Especially after the night they apparently had for their first time together.  He went back up to the house.  He could comb his mare's coat later.  JD called in.  "No, I know he's not home, JD.  He's here.  With Ezra.  No, in the tack room," he said dryly.  "Probably avoiding all that mess.

Chris turned on the news and nearly swore.  They'd be asked to stay for four more years.  Damn it!

The End.

Book 3

NO!  Save Me!

Xander flipped tv stations in his office.  "What will we call him?  The First Boyfriend?  Because he is the first boyfriend of any sitting president.  Possibly the First Husband?  We were prepared for that eventuality if a female had taken office," the reporter said, looking at her 'expert'.  "What do you think would be more appropriate?"

"Try his name and leave him alone," Xander muttered.

"I think until they make a firm commitment, that we should probably call him by his title and name.  When the General was dating, we didn't give his then girlfriend any cute names or official duties."

"That is true.  Do you think we'll see some sort of backlash from this?"

"I have heard that a few world leaders aren't exactly comfortable but they can talk to his VP.  President-Elect Harris has always been very blunt about taking him as he is or go talk to someone else as he usually puts it."  She smiled.  "I believe this will be more of the same.  Fortunately his VP is both military and has political ties to help him.  He can be more diplomatic where President-Elect Harris is blunt and straight-forward.  I think the people made a great choice O'Neilling him and future Vice President Lorne into office."

"Critics think he'll make a gay agenda.  Do you believe we'll be seeing gay rights legislation within the first hundred days?"

Xander nodded.  "Yup.  Plus strengthening the ERA."

Ezra quit lounging in the doorway.  "Are they still debating what to call me?" he asked dryly.

"They got that settled as 'we didn't call Buffy cutesy names so use yours until we're married'."  He looked at him.   "E! has a discussion on my past fashion and how you've helped me over the years, and wondering how you'll dress me for the swearing in."  He turned it to that.  "Has anyone gotten Evan off the flagpole on Atlantis?"

"Yes, just now.  He's already ranting at John, who said he had no idea.  The polls had no idea you were going to be elected."  He sat down beside him, watching the rerun of the fashion disaster documentary.  "When did you wear that?"

He looked.  "During that almost apocalypse in the Dakotas that we stopped for the Winchesters.  I was just getting back from Africa.  Later that weekend, I got stationed in Cleveland."  Xander sank down in his seat.  "I knew I should've went on a cocaine and bad boy binge."

Ezra patted him on the arm.  "Even that might not have helped, Xander."

"I know but it would've gotten the Republicans to fight harder."

"If there hadn't been a battle six weeks before the election, it probably would've helped more."

"Maybe I can get hurt in the next one and retire," Xander said, considering it.

"FDR served in a wheelchair," he said dryly.  He stared at one outfit being talked about.  "That one almost looks nice but a bit loose."

"That was at the swearing at the people for electing me ball.  I still had the liver damage and things.  I had a huge bruise on my side so I had to wear them lower."

"It does fit you otherwise and does look nice on you."  Xander smiled at him.  "I know, the O'Neill suit shop team."  Xander nodded.  "Have any of my team said anything today?"

"Just swearing at the people.  I taught Chris how to say mother fucker in Arabic so he'd quit making the people flinch."

Ezra snickered.  "I wondered what he was saying."

"The head of the ATF showed up already," he said casually.

Ezra stared at him.  "Do finish that nasty thought."

"He wanted me to dump you so I wouldn't be able to hurt your career.  I told him that was up to you, not me."

"That would explain the summons I received for lunch," Ezra decided.  He watched the teleplay.  "I would never let them dress you.  Their clothes would not fit your muscles properly."  Xander grinned at him. "What are we going to do about this?"

"Well, I have to go to one of the balls so I guess I'm going to ask you to come dance with me."  Ezra gave him a dirty look.  "Not like I'm taking anyone else.  We are dating, Ez."

"I know we are."  He gave his hand a squeeze.  "I have no idea what's going on.  Though I'm shocked I haven't heard from my mother yet."

"No, you have.  I heard Josiah tell Chris that he told Maude to call back some other day, that you were swearing all day today."

Ezra shook his head.  "I have no idea if she'll praise me for finding such an upscale, talented, and beautiful boyfriend or berate me for having one so open to the press attention."  He looked out the doorway.  Someone was swearing up the hallway.  "Josiah," he called.  "Or JD, please get Josiah.  I wish to know what my mother said."

"She said she'd call back next week when you were less giddy and had decided what you were going to do about being the poster couple for gay rights," JD said.  "Josiah said to tell you he swore at her about Xander being a good man who deserved someone brilliant like you."  He leaned in. "The White House Counsel is teaching Chris to swear in Afrikaans."

"I can teach Chris to swear in three different African languages," Xander said dryly.  "They're used to them around here because they asked me to switch to them and Latin whenever I ran into the doorknobs after that first one."

"I'll let him know, Xander."  He grinned and looked up the hall.  "The Speaker for the House is here."

"Yay," Xander said flatly.  He kissed Ezra.  "Go find Josiah and help him swear."  Ezra nodded, leaving him alone with the bigot.  "Let the bigot in, JD."  He nodded, letting him in.  He stared at him.  "Don't even start shit with me since I wasn't in the running until that damn battle."

"That's what I got from your new vice president," he said grimly.  "I will have to tell you that the House is much more conservative."

Xander nodded.  "I heard."

"We would like an agenda for your first hundred days?"

Xander considered it.  "Strengthening the Equal Rights Amendment bills.  It's a farce that women earn less and that men get promoted faster unless she's pretty and busty."  The man gaped.  Xander stared at him.  "Also strengthening Title IX and the push to teach sign language in schools as a legitimate language."

"Nothing gay related?"

"I'm going to edict the DOMA laws dissolved," Xander said bluntly.  "Because they're fucking stupid and the Supreme Court said I could for that reason."  He shuddered.  "They found a few states' unconstitutional.  I agree.  *IF* I choose to marry Ezra, then we'll see about the big, gay wedding of the century," he finished dryly.

"John said we need to look at strengthening Medicare and Medicaid again.  That it's got to have an audit for fraud.  That we need to look at the hate crime laws because what we passed is good but not great, especially after that thing in Arizona and that church that got burned with all the members locked inside it.  John suggested I look at immigration regs for the moment.  O'Neill wrote some good ones but it's been a decade so they need to be looked over.  That's about my single term."

The man nodded slowly.  "They're not unreasonable things.  Though, the Defense of Marriage Act won't go down easily."

"The Supreme Court found it unconstitutional."  He smirked.  The man shuddered.  "Yes it will.  I'll base it on that.  I did learn some from John's knee, Horace.  Plus I can lean on O'Neill and John when I need help."

"Good point."  He stared at him.  "Any other gay related things?"

"Personally I'd like to challenge Florida's stance on adoption by gay couples.  I'm not sure if we can do that or not."

"Fine.  So all the little things that gay couples whine that they don't have?"

"Horace, you'd bitch too if your wife couldn't see you in the hospital because your mother didn't like it," he said bluntly.

"My mother hates my wife," he reminded him.

"Yes but your wife can kick your mother out of the hospital.  Mine would kick Ezra out and he'd have no recourse.  That'll be coming in about five months.  I'm working on the language."  He found it on his desk and let him see it.

He read it over, nodding at some of the points.  "I see you just basically equaled it."

"I did.  It also equals it for those in common law marriages for those states that have them.  Times are changing, we must change with them."  He stared at him.  "And you can tell them to quit worrying, I'm not bringing the whole sword and artillery collection to my office."

"Thank you for that."  He handed it back.  "Needs to be in better language."

"I know."  He smirked.  "Like I said, about six months.  Right about the same time I can veto your budget."

"Understood, sir.  That big, gay wedding?"

"No clue.  I am taking Ezra to the ball."

"Fine.  My wife will complain."

Xander nodded.  "I heard her on tv.  I don't care if you don't screw her enough to get that out of her.  That's between you two."

Horace smirked at that.  "Fine, you won't be changing."

"Only suit shops maybe.  Ezra's not sure."  He grinned.  "He knows I don't care."

He walked off shaking his head to tell them about his proposed term's worth of laws.  It was mild compared to what he could try to push through.  It was all built on sound political and legal grounds.  He might actually get some of it, especially with the threat to the budget.  He had learned well to play hardball with Congress.

Xander leaned back to look out his door.  "JD, can I have the bottle of antacid?"

"Sure, Xander."  He tossed it to him.  Xander took two and tossed it back.

"Where's my assistant?"  He ate them.  "Thanks, I have heartburn from the fashion talk."

JD shrugged.  "She didn't show up this morning so Chuck asked me to perky everyone to death that called for you."

"If it's my parents, you don't speak English, same with my uncle.  If it's the slayers, I have a headache and if they nag I'm spanking."

"Yup, I can do that."  He grinned.

Xander went back to watching the bad news on tv.  Damn he almost wished he had died in Africa at the moment.  This was going to be horrible.

***

Ezra avoided the press by going in the back door of the nice restaurant, with their knowledge.  He was led to his table with his mother.  "Mother."  He sat down, picking up his menu.  He knew what he liked here but it was a good stalling technique.

"He'll have the same as I am."

Ezra looked at her then at the waiter.  "The seafood, sir."

"No, I had crabcakes for lunch."  He smiled.  "I'll have number six with a glass of Merlot."  The waiter nodded, writing as he walked off.  He put the menu aside.  "You wanted to meet, Mother?"

"Son, you've taken up with someone in a very...obvious way.  Why wasn't I told?"

He stared at her.  "I didn't know that I still had to ask your permission to date."

She cleared her throat.  "Does he treat you well?"

"Quite.  Xander does love to spoil and treats me like I'm precious."

"You have worked out a prenuptial?  That way you make sure you get something if he dies?"

"Mother, we've only been dating for about a year now."  She grimaced.  "I am not looking at him for that reason."

"Fine."  She sipped her wine.  "You should still make sure you'll get what's coming to you in the will."

Ezra shook his head.  "I have no doubts of anything like that or any need."

"Fine."

"I know I will get the dogs," he said dryly.

She rolled her eyes.  "Two large, slobbering beasts.  Just what your condo needs."

"They're very loving.  They also are quite protective of both of us."

"That's fine but they're not fashionable."

Ezra shrugged.  "Neither is he and he's more charming because of it."  He glanced around then back at her.  "Did you call this dinner to complain?"

"I did.  I think you should be going back to Denver.  It's not good for your career, which I still loathe, but you always considered it more important than I am."

"It's much too late for me to go back to undercover work, Mother.  Though, the whole team is presently here.  We have been."  He sipped the wine that got brought.  "Thank you," he murmured.  The waiter smiled and left.   He took another sip.  "Very good choice."

She stared at him.  "You're tossing away everything I ever taught you."

He got comfortable.  "I've used some of it to help him, but otherwise I'm not like you, Mother.  I don't plan on using multiple people for their purses."

"Fine.  I'm sure the politics are still using *some* of what I taught you."  He nodded, taking another sip.  Their dinners were brought.  "Thank you," she said.  The waiter left again.  "They are quite nice here.  I'm glad I picked this restaurant."  She sipped her wine before carefully cutting into her fish.

Ezra nodded.  "I brought Xander here for our second date.  They've always been very discreet and good at service and the food."  He ate some of his own pasta dish.  His phone beeped so he looked at it.  "Xander saying he's home safely."  He put it back in his pocket and ate another bite, looking at his mother.  "If you wish to meet him, I can arrange that, Mother."

"I saw about his own," she said with a grimace.

Ezra nodded.  "Quite.  They've tried to call once but his mother was slurring.  I talked them out of calling back."  He ate another bite, then wiped his mouth, putting his napkin back on his lap.  "I believe they'll leave him alone from now on."

"Hopefully.  If not, he could always commit them to an inpatient facility for their drinking."  He nodded that was true.  "When are you two marrying?"

"We have only been dating a year, Mother.  We've barely had any fights and nothing over something extensive.  Wait until we've had our first real fight to decide that."

She grimaced.  "I always knew within the month."

"You picked yours for different reasons."  His phone beeped so he looked at it again.  "Ah, Mr. Larabee said hello and that Xander's home safely after having to defend John Daniel against someone who tried to shoot at him.  Charming."  He typed out a message to each of them.  Xander's promised spanking if he got so much as a hair out of place.  He put his phone back with a sigh and ate another bite of his dinner.

She stared at him.  "Son, did I not teach you not to fall in love?" she asked quietly.

He stared at her.  "As I said, Mother, I'm not looking at him the same way you would."  She rolled her eyes and dug in again.  "Would you like to meet him for lunch later this week?"

"I would like to meet my future son-in-law," she decided.  "Before the wedding.  Which would be easiest done before his swearing in.  That way you could move in."

He shrugged.  "Having a domicile outside the White House has proved to be healthier for us both."

"Hmm.  Are you going to make an honest man of him?"

"It's not like I can impregnate him, Mother."

"Pity, then I could make sure you were taken care of."

He snorted.  "I'm doing quite well on that without his contribution."

"Fine."  She ate another bite.  "The food here is delightful.  Not heavy or overdone at all."

"Hmm, yes it is.  That's why it's a favorite of ours."  He ate another bite, glancing around them again.  "Ah, there's one of those nosy reporters so expect to be shown on tv tomorrow, Mother."

She looked then sighed.  "If I must.  I'm sure they'll find out that I'm your mother.  Which may hurt my present relationship."

Ezra shrugged.  "If he's that upset by me, then you don't need him anyway, Mother."

"Fine."  She ate another bite.  She could have a peaceful dinner with her son for a bit.

***

Chris called the news desk of the one that was reporting Ezra was on a date.  "It's Special Agent Larabee.  That's his mother he's with," he said bluntly.  "Not a date."  He hung up.  That would fix that upcoming problem.

Xander looked over from his seat on the couch.  He was pouty, but having a time out.  "He doesn't look much like her."

"No, he doesn't.  You should watch out for her, kid.  She's usually got an agenda and she's a barracuda."

Xander nodded.  "He warned me.  Can I go to the bathroom?"

"As long as you come right back to your seat," he said firmly.  Xander nodded, getting up to go to the bathroom then came back out once he was cleaned up.  Chris stared at him.  "JD is there to protect you, not the other way around."

"If I hadn't protected him, we'd be staring at the bits and pieces of him and the people I ripped the hell apart for firing an anti-tank rocket at my car."

"True, and thank you for that, but no more, kid.  You have to learn this lesson.  It's been four years and you had it down before.  You only revert when it's major trouble so relax and let us handle it.  Remember, you have all the investigative agents in the US now worried about the people who want to kill you."

Xander nodded.  "I know.  Fornell's message to my voicemail was full of swearing."

"Good!  I would've too!"  He called a check in to get an update and then got comfortable again.  The heads of the Secret Service, the ATF, the FBI, and NCIS were all meeting about the attempted use of artillery in DC to get Xander and JD dead.  The artillery had been Navy issue so they needed to join in.  Plus Gibbs would make sure the investigation got done right the first time and quickly by running over everyone else.

Xander stared at him.  "Are you plotting?"

"To rip some assholes into tiny pieces."

Xander grinned.  "Me too."  He changed the channel to one of the entertainment ones.  "Ah, E!.  News that rots your mind because it's got nothing to do with my job, outside of them wondering how Ezra and I are in bed and what I'm wearing."

Chris watched the 'news' and snickered at some of the mindless tramps and bimbos.  "You're right, that's much nicer than the harder news."

Xander nodded.  "Very mind clearing.  I'm hoping some starlette gets arrested soon so they quit trying to figure out which one of us takes it."  They moved to the 'first gay president' section of the show and he sighed.  "I hate their clothes," he said.  "Ezra tried to get me to wear some but no."

Chris shook his head.  "You and Ez are insane, Xander."

"Yup, and now we both have to fucking shop again," he sighed.  "I hate shopping."

"Take John."

"John's already back to wearing BDU's."

"Good for him.  At least he can disappear safely."

Xander nodded.   "The Secret Service has already signed up one of their guys for the teams in the Mountain."

"Even better.  Jack like that?"

"Nope.  Buffy laughed and said she did it so much better."

"She probably would."  He got comfortable.  Nathan walked in.  "No injuries beyond that small cut that I've already bandaged," he reported before he could nag.

"You sure?" he demanded.  "You stripped him down and all that?"

"No, but if he's injured, Ez will tell you later."

"Good point.  He knows not to hide those things from me."

Xander looked at him.  "I have to go see my liver doctor in two weeks."

"I can go."  He walked off to the kitchen to get some coffee then came back out.  "What're we doing?"

"The kid's grounded," he said bluntly.  Their lone female member walked in and stared at them.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine, Chris."  She shut the door.  "They still haven't realized I'm not Secret Service."  She rolled her eyes.  "I need to quit dressing so stuffy."

"Ask Ezra, that's what I did," Xander quipped.

"I might for the ball.  Where's JD?  Buck wanted me to check on him."

"Bed.  I forcefed him a sleeping pill," Chris said with a point upstairs.  She went up to look.  Maria had been with their team for over a year and she had fit in very well.  The guys had tried to protect her but she had kicked Buck's ass in sparring one day, then nearly beat Xander.  They trusted her to handle herself well enough and it was a good thing.  They kept her from any public duties.  They had a plan if she got too noticed to 'fire' her for 'going to the dark side' so she could still work undercovers.  Ezra had worked that out with her.  She was doing fine and someday soon she'd go on to form her own team.  They could appreciate mentoring her.

Xander yawned.  "How are my dogs, Nathan?"

"They're fine, Xander.  In the barn."  Xander hopped up and went to check on them.  Chris followed.  He smirked.  "Figures.  He'll probably do the same to Ezra."  He sipped his coffee and turned it off the trash channel.  Discovery-Health was showing an autopsy show.

Maria came down shaking her head.  "I think he's getting a cold.  He's snoring."

"He does whenever we sedate him."  He looked at her.  "You can find something nice for the balls I'm sure."

"I hope so.  Hopefully able to hide a holster or two too."  She left, going back to the White House for the night.  She was on John's guard detail right now.

***

Ezra found his boyfriend in his bed at Chris's house later that night.  He slid in next to him, cuddling him.  Xander snuffled him and shifted closer, purring at him.  Ezra smiled. "How did I get so lucky as to land you?" he whispered.

"Your accent gets me hot," Xander whispered.

Ezra laughed. "Is that all?"

"I like you even though you do take me shopping?"  Xander blinked at him.  "We're okay."

"Hmm.  I'll be making sure of it.  Up and strip for me, Xander."  Xander grinned, getting up to get naked for him.  Ezra watched the skin in the pale moonlight, reaching out a hand to run over a cut and a bruise.  "That was seen?"

"Yup."

"Good."  Xander straddled his lap, taking a kiss.  "I'm not sure if I should reward you for saving yourself and JD or be worried that you slipped again," he said quietly.

Xander stared at him.  "If I hadn't saved us, we'd be little tiny blobs of former people, Ezra.  They had an anti-tank missile.  JD didn't see it and when I pointed it out he was a bit slow to react."

Ezra nodded, giving him a cuddle.  "Then I'll reward you tomorrow before I punish you by making you shop."  Xander snickered, taking a kiss.  Ezra put him onto the bed and stripped down to cuddle nakedly with him.  Chris didn't allow them to have sex in his house until they were married but they could do anything below actual penetration.  It was much quieter as well so no one knew what they were doing.

***

Buck walked into Ezra's room the next morning, then backed out quickly and shut the door as quietly as he could.  "We have got to get them bigger sheets," he said as he walked down the stairs.

"Naked?" Chris asked.

"Yup.  And then some."  He and Chris shared a look.  JD was still groggy from the sedative last night.  He clapped him on the back.  "Are you sick?"  JD nodded, sniffling some.  Nathan got up to make him some tea.  "Wonder how it went with Maude."

Nathan handed over the doctored tea.  "Take today off, JD."  He looked at Buck.  "Do you think he was civil?"

"I think Ezra is always civil to his mother," Chris said.  "But I bet they had a few intense moments of clashing about her career and hobbies."  He sipped his coffee.  "JD, take the dogs and go back to bed."  JD nodded, taking his tea that way since he was half-asleep anyway.  The dogs followed because JD cuddled nicely.  Chris shook his head.  "Buck, did you get the armored limo to come this way?"

"It'll be here at ten."

"Ezra!  He's leaving at ten!" Chris bellowed.  Someone upstairs moved and went to shower.  "That's Vin."

"I'm not going to wake them up.  Ez will shoot me," Buck said dryly, sipping his own coffee.  "Maria, go wake up Ez and Xander," he called since he heard someone come in.  She was the only one not there.

"Of course I shall wake up my son-in-law," Maude said dryly.

Chris winced and called Ezra's phone quickly.  It would wake him up before she could.

Ezra threw his phone and sat up, looking at them.  He gently covered his boyfriend right as his mother walked in without knocking.  "Mother, that is dreadfully rude.  I could have been in the middle of intercourse."

"Not like I haven't seen it before, my son."  She smiled and slammed the door.  Xander threw a knife at her, making her squeak.

"He does not wake up well, Mother.  Especially after a trying night."  He leaned over to whisper in Xander's ear.  "My mother is here."

"Have the slayers make her go shopping.  She'll go insane," he mumbled.

Ezra laughed.  "I'm sure that would, yes.  Especially them shoe shopping."  Xander blinked at him, smiling.  He smiled back.  "You just threw a knife at my mother."

"Did I hit her?"  Ezra shook his head.  "Then I'm sorry but she woke me up."  He yawned then took a kiss, staring at her.  "I know I'm cute, lady, but even being his mother doesn't allow you to walk in on me with him in bed."  He glared.  "I beat the ass of each and every single slayer, I can spank you too."

She laughed.  "I see you do mirror my son's morning moods."

"No, mother, Xander is a very private man."

"Fine.  I'll see you downstairs in a moment."  She left.  She passed by Vin, pinching him on the cheek.  "Good morning, Mr. Tanner."

"Morning, Maude," he said, making sure his towel stayed in place.  "Ez up?"

"Oh, yes, and his boyfriend is a bit grumpy."

"Nearly shot me once," he said dryly.  He went to get dressed quickly.  He came out to find Ezra impeccable and Xander looking morning sloppy.  "You should probably dress, Xander.  You have to leave in about an hour."  Xander went to take a shower.  He looked at Ezra.  "Kept him up?" he teased with a grin.

"Quite, but it was a most generous reward for him saving them."  He walked downstairs.  "Mother, that was dreadfully rude," he reminded her.  "I know I locked our door."

"It was unlocked when I tried to wake you two up," Buck said.  "I'm going to put a little light there so you can turn it on when you're naked."

Ezra shrugged.  "If that would save your obviously exaggerated and lagging libido, do so."  Chris snickered, shaking his head.  "He's in the shower."

"You two are going at ten."

"That's fine."  He checked the clock and got himself some coffee.  Xander came down in jeans and a t-shirt of Ezra's.  Ezra stared, nearly dropping his cup.  "Xander, I believe we have to be seen in public today."

"It's one of my last days as a free man, Ezra."  He smiled.  "Let them drool.  They'll quit asking if you bottom or top."

"That would be nice, yes."  He got himself some coffee and sipped it, staying over there.  Buck got Xander some.  "What is the schedule today?"

"White House to hide, he has a speech to make to thank people for putting him in office at two," Nathan said.  "Dinner with the Namibian ambassador at the new African place downtown at seven."

"I think it'll be fusion cuisine," Ezra said.  "It's not going to be totally authentic."

"They do have cows and pigs in Africa," Xander pointed out.  "So they can use the same spices and just use American beef and pigs."  He sipped his coffee.  "Beyond that, the man hates me.  Why are we eating tonight?"

"I don't know," Nathan said.

"Was it made before or after the election?" Xander asked.

"After."

"Huh.  Okay, confirm that and the dress code for me.  Are you being my secretary today since Marian apparently ran away?"

"Until we get to the White House.  Then you have a secretarial pool person."

"Hmm.  Thanks."  He drank another gulp of coffee.  "Thanks for the coffee, Chris."

"How can you tell he made it?" Buck asked.

"Nathan tries to make me drink decaf and the stuff that tastes like dishwater.  Chris enjoys good coffee.  JD makes strong but overdone coffee and you make it too weak to compensate for JD's.  Ezra only makes gourmet coffee and Vin doesn't make coffee, he buys it instead since you guys said he made sludge."  He finished his cup and got some more, looking at the woman staring at him.  "It was still rude."

She smiled.  "I do have the right to know who my son is seeing and what they are doing."

Xander stared at her.  "If you look online, someone found tape from my post-graduation roadtrip when I stripped."  He sipped his new coffee, making Chris and Nathan choke.  Buck snickered.

Ezra patted him on the back.  "I saw that.  You didn't look too bad.  Clearly nervous and not as rhythmic as you are now."

Xander nodded.  "I got better."  He grinned.  Ezra smiled back.  He kissed him on the cheek.  "I'd mug you for real but Chris would complain if I nibbled on you for breakfast and your mother might be shocked."  He walked off.  "Shower's free for you, Ezra."

"Thank you, Xander.  Your dogs are with JD."

"That's cool.  Mamma, Pappa," he called, opening the door.  They came running down the stairs.  "Let's go play with Companion and then we'll play some fetch."  They followed him.

Buck went to follow him.  He was more awake and aware.  He had even eaten.

Chris looked at Ezra.  "Have fun today."

"Of course I shall.  Xander will have a good speech, even if I have to help him write it."  He went to shower and change then join Xander in the barn to take care of his gelding.  The horses had gotten out of their stalls and were cuddling around Companion.  "Did we decide we needed to herd up last night?" he asked dryly.

"Apparently," Xander agreed, still brushing Companion's side.  "The stalls are all cleaned so apparently the agent did it again."

Ezra went to check.  No explosives or anything else out of the ordinary.  They put the horses into the paddock for a bit.

Chris came out onto the porch.  "What are you doing?"

"The agent cleaned the barn for us and let the horses gather to huddle together," Xander called.

Chris came down to check over the barn himself.  After last night he wasn't going to be too careful.  "We can put them up before we head," he decided.  He went to baby his mare, making her happy.  The others came out to play with their horses.  It was a good stress break before they had to get back to the jungle river that was Washington DC.

***

Chris Larabee walked off the elevator and over to a desk.  "Special Agent Gibbs, I'm Special Agent Larabee."  He stared at him.  "I want a sit rep please."

Gibbs looked up at him.  "You're letting him out today?"

"He has a speech to a group of teenagers he likes to mentor."  He shrugged.  "He's right, the kids need it and the hope he brings."  That got a nod.  "It's low risk.  With the snow we've moved it indoors, have the Secret Service already looking over the site, and it'll be fine.  Getting there...."

"Good point.  We found the point of origin for the anti-tank rocket.  We've already arrested the person there who let it out to the conservative preacher that fired it off."

Chris nodded.  "So it is him being with Ezra."  Gibbs nodded.  "You can tell them to kiss my ass.  The kid deserves some happiness."

"I already have."  He smirked.  "Is he making any big changes in the military?  I know he's not one of us."

"He backed up the slayers for years and has combat against humans in Africa.  Apparently there were a few militias and things."  Gibbs shuddered.  "Exactly.  He's not a newbie to combat, Gibbs.  As for military things?  I think he said to ask Evan Lorne.  He's from Sheppard's project."

"I heard.  He sounds like a good man and a bit more political for the people who are worried."

"Some.  He's got distinguished service in Pegasus too.  He and Xander have an agreement that they hate the job.  Evan sat on a ledge no one could get to for six days and nights trying to get out of the job."

Gibbs smirked.  "I don't blame him."

"Xander's the same."

"That's fine.  If I hear, you will."  Chris put down his card.  "Have fun."

"No.  I have to make the boy go shopping later."  He walked off shaking his head.

"Do we have anything new?" Gibbs demanded.

"Two things.  The minister that fired on the car is former Marines.  He had went through that base during his training."  His senior agent handed over that information.  "His second in the church is married to the brother-in-law of that supply clerk."  He handed over that sheet as well.

"That explains how," Gibbs decided.  "Any links back to any other groups?"

"Yeah, boss," the other agent said, holding up a sheet and putting his screen on the bigger one that they all could see.  "The minister is part of the religious right group that was behind that protest in Alexandria that turned violent and a few others.  Their bulletin board today was full of praise for the action."  He let that go up to show them.

DiNozzo, the senior agent, pointed.  "Who's that?  He's got most of the 'I'd do it too' messages."

McGee searched out his profile, finding it.  "That.... is the minister that was on tv this morning denouncing the attack but calling for him to step down for being so immoral.  Said he was presently turning into a demon."

"Send that info to the Secret Service, see if they'll arrest him," Gibbs ordered.  McGee emailed the lead agent that, getting a 'thank you, we'll handle it' back.  McGee nodded.  "Anything else on our end?"

"Yup," DiNozzo said, changing the screen with the remote.  "Two military groups that are forming up militias to overthrow the government and the people since clearly they think they're stupid."

Gibbs got up to look at it more closely.  "Both active service.  One has some Army."

"It's mostly Marines."  He pointed at something.  "That's in the Mountain's forces."  He looked at him.  "Should I email Larabee so he can tell Lorne or Sheppard?"

"Do that."  DiNozzo moved to tell the higher ups about that.  They could stop that militia before it got started.  Gibbs stared at the information.  "I don't know why they don't like him, he's the same sort of gun nut they are."

"He is the toughest gay man I've ever met," McGee said.  "Even among the gay Marines and Rangers.  Not many of them would keep backing up the slayers after that injury he got a few years back."

Gibbs nodded.  "Me either but he feels it's his duty.  That's like being a priest to him."  He sat down, going back to the information they had.  This was not going to be allowed.  He might not like that his president was gay but it wasn't his choice now.   The people had spoken firmly.

***

Xander walked into his speech in the same outfit, smiling as he slid out of his jacket.  "Hey, guys."  They cheered for him.  He smiled.  "I'm glad I can be here with you guys today.  It's important that you, more than most kids, learn that you have a future. A bright, beautiful, loud future.  One that will someday make E! News quit asking about my relationship."  They laughed and a few nodded.  "I want every one of you in college, where we all belong.  Doing great things for the world and the universe.  Whether that's in the military, whether that's in academics, even if you become plumbers and construction people, that's fine, as long as you stand up for yourself and what you believe in.  Because that is what makes America great.  And got me elected."  That got another cheer.

Buck watched him work up the crowd.  Xander did have appeal, even though he wasn't sure why most of the time.  The convention for the GLSEN students was going along great.  There were no threats this year.  The hotel was on its toes for security.  No one had tried to make a move to get into the speech that wasn't part of the convention, outside of a reporter.  The kids were looking at him like an icon.  The tight jeans and thin t-shirt weren't making them do anything but drool.  Xander finally got to walk off the stage.  Buck smiled.  "They would've been hurt if you had went on that slut binge you wanted to do to stay out of office," he said quietly.

"I know.  I'm still not someone I'd consider presidential material.  I hate politics.  Things like this, yeah, I like."  They walked off, Xander grabbing his jacket.  The reporter cornered them on the way out.  Xander stared at her.  "What?"

"You're bothered by the reports on your relationship?" she asked, pointing her microphone at him.

"Do we ask *you* what you do in your bedroom?" he asked dryly.  "No one really needs to know what I do in mine.  Even being the president elect, I still deserve some privacy."

"So, are you two getting married?" she asked.

"We've only been dating a year.  We're taking things slowly and carefully so I don't scare him."  He smirked.  "Or the dogs don't upset him by drooling on his favorite suits."

"Who are you going to wear to the swearing in?"

"No idea.  Ezra hasn't made me go shopping yet."  He smiled.  "Any fashion things, ask Ezra, not me.  He makes me look hot instead of my usual plain clothes."  He walked around her and her cameraman.  "I'm hoping you won't be doing anything that might hurt the kids in there."

"No, sir, just a generic report on the convention," she assured him, chasing after them.  "Are the St. Bernards moving with you?"

Xander gave her a dirty look.  "I'm not the shallow sort who'll throw a pet aside because it doesn't match the decor.  They're my dogs.  Of course they're going with us.  Not like they're not used to that lawn."  He let Buck get the door.  "Anything else?"  He smirked at her.  "If not, I've got to eat lunch.  I never eat before speeches in case I get nervous."

"Sir, do you really mean those things you said?"

"Hell yes.  I want those kids in there to be the future of America, to do great things, and to take my place some day in this job.  I want every kid to be able to work up to their abilities."

"Because you didn't get to?"

"I learned what I needed to learn.  Though yeah, public education could be stronger so that no kid gets left like I did."  He walked outside since he saw Buck had the car.  "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go eat."  He jogged out, nearly skidded on some ice, but got into the back.  Buck drove off.  "Did the kids hear you?  They got really quiet."

"They were all walking out, Xander.  Relax.  Not like they don't know.  John quipped about it last year.  They know you said it."

"Fine.  I don't want to upset them.  For some reason they look up to me.  I feel like I'm their uncle or something."

"You'll do fine."

"I'm *so* going to screw up the White House."

"You will not," Buck said patiently.  "Even if you make some mistakes the kids will realize they can do it better when it's their turn."

"True.  I hope one of them does get to follow me."  He got comfortable.  "Ooh, Burger King!"

Buck snickered but drove through for him.  There was no way someone could've snuck in to poison their food since Xander picked a different fast food place each time he ordered.  He paused to pick up the order Chris had made.  He came back with the box.  "For the team."

"That's cool," Xander said around his fries.  He sniffed.  "Thai?"  Buck nodded, pulling away from the curb and going on.  Xander winced, holding his head.  He took a sip of his soda to clear his mouth.  "Buck, change streets.  Now."  Buck changed roads immediately.  "Shit," he moaned, holding his head as he called in.  "Chris, had a vision.  Ford Bank, sniper, more than a rifle but not quite artillery.  Yeah, one of those."  He took another sip. "Don't know, just had it and he just changed roads."  He hung up.

Buck toggled his walkie talkie, telling that to the comm officer.  He'd have people go meet that sniper.  He listened.  "Wrong bank."

"Sorry."

"They spotted him and managed to catch him."

"It looked like the Ford Bank."

"The one across the street.  You were probably looking from the top of there."

"Maybe."  He took another sip, relaxing.  "How long do you think this problem will last?"

"Until the swearing in.  Then they'd probably give up and just go militant."

"Yay," Xander said flatly, making Buck crack up.  "Can I go join one?"

"Nope.  Too much attention on you and most of them like to work in the shadows.  Oh, Chris said Buffy's waiting on you."

"She and Ezra can go shopping," Xander offered.

"I doubt they'd go without you."

"Damn.  I don't like shopping.  The slayers made me do it too many times."

"I know.  It's nice you put up with Ez's bad habit."

"Ez shops with me because he wants me to look hot."  He smirked.  "I can appreciate that from my boyfriend where I don't girls making me help them look hot."

"I understand that fully," Buck admitted.  "I couldn't shop with women either."

"Who's going to which ball with us?"

"No idea yet," Buck sighed.  "We should figure that out soon though so we have a tux."  Xander nodded.  "We'll see."  He pulled onto Pennsylvania Avenue.  "Oh, shit," he muttered, pulling up his walkie talkie.  "It's the VP's car, there's a blockade of military vehicles outside."  He listened.  "Sure, we can do that."  He hung up and turned the car onto another street and headed off.  "We're going to bug the hell out of Maude for a few minutes.  She's at Ez's house."

"That's fine," Xander agreed.  He finished off his burger and put the wrapper back in the bag.  He dug into his fries again.  "I wonder if Gibbs knows about them."  He pulled out his phone, finding the number at NCIS.  "Megan, put me through to Gibbs please?  Yes, but don't warn him. Military blockade of Pennsylvania Avenue."  He got put through.  "Special Agent Gibbs, Xander Harris.  Did anyone warn us about the military blockade in front of the White House?"  He smirked.  "I thought no one might have.  No, I'm going to see my possible future mother-in-law and let her bitch at me about having fries after my speech.  Yeah, please."  He hung up and put his phone back.  "He'll check into that."

"That's fine, but Maude will probably make remarks about you being lower class."

Xander nodded.  "Yay.  She can take me as I am, like everyone else."

"I'm sure she'll realize that quickly.  Just ignore her if she gets huffy or higher class."

"Sure, she acts like a senator and I'll treat her like a senator," he said dryly, cracking Buck up.  Xander was the queen of treating the senators who annoyed him like pet ferrets.

***

Gibbs sped up to the blockade and stopped, getting out with some other team leaders and their teams coming behind them.  He glared.  Those were current military issue vehicles.  "What the hell do you think you're doing!" he shouted.  A few flinched.  "Produce your ID!  Now!"  They all stomped over to arrest them.

This wasn't a 'show of military support' that they had put on their demonstration license with the city.  This was an attempted taking out of the White House and scaring the citizens of the United States.  CID, their Army counterpart, and JAG all showed up within minutes.  The people got arrested.  Those not currently military got handed to the FBI.  This was not going to happen again.  When the ATF agents on White House detail came out to confiscate and make all the weapons safe, a few of the idiots tried to run from Larabee but oh well.

The Day of Swearing.

Xander rolled over to look at Ezra, then at the clock, then back at his boyfriend.  Ezra had let them sleep in this morning.  John was back on Atlantis, trying to pry Evan out of a closet to make him go shopping.  Xander had to shop today.  Maude showing up for a week had derailed those plans.  Personally, Xander felt he could wear something in his closet but Ezra said he had to have a new suit.  Fortunately, Ezra was still asleep.

Xander slid closer, nuzzling Ezra's bare chest.  He licked over a nipple, glancing up.  No response.  Hmm.  That meant he got to play.  He shifted to reach the other one, making Ezra shift toward him.  That made things easier.  Xander nibbled and licked his way down to the hard cock waiting on him.

He thought about waking him up with a good blowjob but that was so cliche and Ezra deserved a happy morning before making him whine about shopping.  Xander kept nibbling while finding the lube and working himself looser.  Then he slowly slid on top.  Ezra might wake up at being mounted.  He slowly slid down and smiled when he made it all the way down.  He squeezed gently then shifted up and back down.

Ezra woke up comfortable, warm, and realizing someone was presently on top of him.  He knew he was with Xander so he wasn't worried about it being a problem.  He blinked at him, smiling.  Xander grinned back, leaning down to kiss him.  Ezra groaned, feeling how he was encased.  He pushed up, taking his pleasure and making sure Xander was happy.

"Did we get a bit needy this morning?" he teased, taking another kiss.  He flipped them over, making Xander get loud and happy.  Xander rode him as long as he could then he finally had to come, which let Ezra go over finally.  Ezra cuddled him.  "It's not fair that you're driving me back to a nap when I just got up."

Xander smiled, hugging him back.  "I think we can stay here all day if you want."

Ezra yawned.  "That will not get you out of going to Armani or anywhere else," he said with a smile.  Xander moved down to lick at his boyfriend some more.  Ezra let him attempt to catch his attention that way.  It was nice of him.  He'd still have to shop though.

***

Xander walked into his office for the emergency meeting, finding John and Evan there as well.  "Hey.  Problems?"

"Slightly," John said dryly.  "That military maneuver yesterday?  Totally illegal and there's a full push of military people getting panicky."

Xander looked at Evan.  "Think if I tell them about some of the combat I've faced it'll help?"

"Maybe," he admitted.

Xander nodded, going to get something and coming back.  Soon the Joint Chief came in.  This time's was the head of the Marines.  Xander slapped him on the arm with the journal.  "My work journal from Africa and hunting down the slayers that didn't get killed."

"Why give this to me?" he asked.

"Because it'll make some of your people quit panicking like teenage girls before their first time," Xander said bluntly.  "I hate like hell having to arrest good soldiers because they're acting like I'm asking them to bend over and take it."

He nodded.  "I've seen."  He sat down to go over the journal, giving him a horrified look a few pages in.  "You did what!" he demanded.

Xander looked then at him.  "They were in the way."  He smirked.  "I think I know a bit and I think I can lean on Jack and John and Evan if I have to.  Right?"

"Sure, if you can find us," John agreed with a smile.  "I'm going to be hiding."

"He made sure I can't hide," Evan complained.  "But if we have issues, then so be it.  I'm there."

The general stood up.  "Can I take this to the other Joint Chiefs, sir?"

"I'm Xander, not sir," he said bluntly.  "You can't yell 'Our Most Excellent, President Harris' across a field, dude."  He stared at him then smiled.  "Though I will warn you I am scarily self trained in combat maneuvers, beyond a possession and D&D.  I'll lean on Evan for that."

"I'll warn them," he said, shaking his hand and walking out.  He was already praying that no one attacked the US or its allies in the next four years.  He didn't want to know how something the kid owned trained him to do battle combat maneuvers.

Xander looked at John.  "How long do you think it'll take?"

"Six months.  There's militias all over the US that already hate you."  Xander shrugged.  "And some in other countries.  Rome won't talk to you."

"I didn't like talking to the Pope the last time I talked to him," he said bluntly.  "Especially since I was taking a slayer away from his guards.  Midori really needed better stealth skills when going after higher ranking demons."

Evan held up a hand.  "Stop, I don't want to know," he ordered.  He walked off shaking his head.

"Colonel Lorne," Buffy said cheerfully.  "Jack sent me to take you shopping."  She smiled and took his arm, walking him off.  "Have you thought about your appearance schedule and what you'd like them to talk about on the entertainment shows for the next four years?  That way we can tailor your look to that."

"I'd like to be in BDU's as often as possible."

"John managed it quite often, the same as Xander does jeans.  Even though he shouldn't wear them as much as he does."  She looked him over.  "You're built nicely, you're handsome, so we can make you the fashion plate that John was as the VP.   That way they don't nag you as much as they did Xander."

Evan was getting a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.  John liked to be mean to him sometimes.  He was sure he couldn't beat the former First Lady and slayer to get away from her.  Maybe a distant relative would show up to save him?  Within an hour, he had changed it from a soul sucking relative to the wraith.  He'd take being fed on right about then.  Clearly this was O'Neill's punishment for not hiding enough.  Maybe if he flirted with her, O'Neill would kill him?

***

Xander walked onto the elevator at the SGC, his guards trying to keep up.  He got off and stomped toward the infirmary.  He knew the layout from the maps.  He walked into the infirmary.  "Is my VP going to live, Doctor Lam?"

She stared at him.  "How did you get here, sir?"

"I flew like the wicked witch," he said dryly.  "Is he okay?"

"He'll be okay."

"I can die," Evan said.

Xander stared at him.  "If you do, I'm taking O'Neill's...nephew."  He smirked evilly.

"You can't do that," Jack said as he walked in.

"I can so.  Just like you did because I'm not sworn in yet."  He gave him an evil smirk.

"Shit," Jack muttered.  "He'd kill you."

"Yay?  Like half the US hasn't tried?"  He shrugged.  "And you know, there'll be the big push the night before the swearing in to kill me so therefore your ...nephew would be in perfect position for the O'Neill legacy."

"Doc, you gotta save Lorne's life," Jack ordered.

"He'll live.  We will be locking up Mr. Harris' gun collection the night before the swearing ceremony?"

Xander smirked.  "I'm being diverted beautifully that night I'm told."  He looked at Evan.  Then at Jack.  "I need your nephew anyway."

"Why?" Jack demanded.

"The Joint Chiefs want me to have a military advisor.  General Vallance said to pick him because then you'd get to watch over his shoulder.  So your wife needs to torture him by making him shop."

"Kill me?" Evan begged Doctor Lam.

"It won't save you.  Willow knows resurrection spells," Xander quipped.

"Don't you dare offer that, Mister," Willow complained.

Xander stared at her.  "I see Rodney can do more than complain at John."  She blushed, holding her stomach.  "The Joint Chiefs picked my military advisors.  So go find the littler O'Neill that Buffy's not carrying for me."

"She is not," Jack complained.  "Calm down, Xander."

"She is.  She was looking at cribs," Evan moaned.  He looked at Xander.  "I'm too injured to take the job if you fall, sir.  I should be allowed to retire."

"As got pointed out to me, FDR did it in a wheelchair.  So even if Doctor Lam of big needle guild has to turn you into a cyborg, you're still able."  He walked over to look at him.  "In four years, I'm campaigning for someone.  If you're not a good boy, that's you."  Evan whimpered.  Xander smirked his most evil smirk.  "If you're a good boy, we can both campaign for someone else."

"Geez, that's mean," John said as he appeared in a flash of light.  "Xander, how did you get out here so fast?"

"The Secret Service had the emergency beaming stones set to here."  He grinned.  "It lands you up by the gate."

"I'll have them fix that shit later."  He smiled at Jack.  "The Joint Chiefs are sacrificing your clone, General.  Sorry.  I tried to talk them into using someone more usual and standard military.  It was him or Mitchell and Mitchell was thought to be too playboy for DC."

"Thank you, God!" Cam yelled from the hallway.  "Let me find an off-world orgy in thanks!"

Xander snickered.  "I might ask to go too but Ezra would be mad at me," Xander called.  "The Joint Chiefs have offered me the littler O'Neill on a pole.  Can you tell him he has to shop?"

"Sure," Cam agreed, running off before he got picked for something.

Xander looked at the scowling general.  "Do you want to keep Homeworld?"

"Please."

"Fine."  He grinned.  "I'm not mean.  I watched how you did it to learn how to subtly screw things up."

"Try really hard, kid."

Xander smiled.  "Of course I am.  Though we're still debating on the big, gay wedding thing."

"Do it on a massive holiday," John quipped.

"Ezra doesn't forget dates.  I do but he doesn't."  He looked at Evan, who was saying silent prayers.  "Are we going to be a good boy so we can both escape in four years?"

"Yes," he complained.  "If I have to."

Xander leaned down.  "Unless I die, you only have to go treat the Senate like the children they pretend to be and a few other things.  If I die, you're screwed."  He grinned.  "So?"

"I'm going to make sure you don't even get a papercut," Evan assured him.

"Talk to Ezra," Xander quipped with a grin.

"I have.  I'll make sure of it.  Are you moving your armory to the White House's armory?"

"I'll want to take it with me when I get to escape.  If I do that, they'll try to claim I donated it."

"Yes, you are," Jack ordered.

"But... my pretties!" Xander complained.

"Don't care."  Jack smirked.  "And I'll deal with the Joint Chiefs for you."

"They said they didn't care if you did complain.  They didn't care if you shot them all."

"Shit.  They want him," he said.

"Yup and he's barely old enough for VP."  He grinned sweetly.

"Damn it."  He walked off to warn his clone.  The 'HELL NO!' from the gateroom echoed all the way up to the infirmary.  Xander grinned at Willow, who backed out slowly and carefully.  "Is she one I'll get to help train?"

"Nope, he's not."

"Cool!"  He beamed at her.  "I still want baby pictures."

"Of course I will."  She fled, going to find Buffy to tell her Ezra had driven Xander insane.

Buffy leaned in a few minutes later.  "I'm not pregnant, Xander."

He looked at her, walking over to pull her into the room.  He stared at her stomach then at her.  "Then what did you eat that made you gain ten pounds in that one spot and nowhere else?  Any other time you gain weight, you go up a cup size."  She swatted him.  "You're the one who taught me about bras and boob weight gain, woman."  He stared at her.  She went pale, shaking her head.  "Yeah, I think you are."  He handed her to the doctor, who pulled out a needle and a test tube.

"JACK!" she wailed a few minutes later.  He came jogging in, letting her cry on him.  "I'm pregnant!"

"Shh.  We'll handle it, Buffy."  He glared at Xander, who shrugged.

"She's the one who taught me what girlish weight gain looked like."

"Fine.  Let's go talk.  We'll figure stuff out."  She sniffled, hugging Jon since he had followed.  "All yours, Xander."

"Thanks.  I'm not godparent material either but I want pictures."

"Sure," Jack agreed, smiling at him.

Jon stared at Xander.  "Why did I get offered up?"

Xander pointed at Jack and Buffy.  "That means you'll have to be there for weekly update meetings from the Pentagon.  Find a uniform or a suit.  They said so."

"Can't I shoot myself?"

"Not if I can't," Xander said.

"You even try and I'm going to beat you into a revivable coma," Evan warned.   He shifted with a grunt.  "Doc, can't I have pain killers?"  Xander reached over to knock him out.

"That'll work too," Doctor Lam decided.  "Much less mind clouding."  She pulled out another needle.  "Xander, we need to make sure that taint isn't spreading."

"Hit an artery?" he begged.

"There's no way I'd do that to Evan.  I like Evan, he's sweet."

"I try," he complained.  "I even let Ezra take me shopping again."  He took off his jacket and let her find his vein to pop the needle into.  He looked at Jon.  "Foreign intel thinks that some foreign militaries aren't fond of me.  Apparently the Joint Chiefs want some higher brains than mine in DC.  By the way, they know."

"They know?" Jon demanded.

"Yeah, somehow they know."

"Damn it."

"Not my fault or yours but they really love your BDU's, Jon."  He grinned.  "John, can I keep Chuck?"

"We'll see."  He looked at Jon.  "They haven't told me this but they don't think he's more than small group combat trained.  Even with what he did in Africa."  Xander nodded.  Doctor Lam bandaged him and Xander put back on his jacket.  "Did you warn Larabee or anyone before you disappeared?"

"JD saw me reaching for the emergency stone."

"Huh."  He called.  "Chris, John Sheppard.  I'm in eyes-sight of Xander.  Yeah, here with me.  Came to nag Evan when they evacuated him.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "He was growling but not panicked."

"I figured JD would tell him."  He looked at Jon.  "Come see me the next day.  If you want to party at the balls, go for it.  They'll ask who you are.  A few news reporters got leaked that story by the Pentagon.  Apparently they have loose lips that do more than suck the entire battleship."  He used his stone to go back.  "Doctor Lam said Evan's fine," he told Chris since he was in his office.  "We agreed neither of us would commit suicide the night before the swearing in but in four years we'd both be pushing for someone else."

Chris nodded.  "That might work with you," he said dryly.  "Warn.  Me," he growled.

"Sorry!  I know JD saw me reaching for it."

"Uh-huh."  His phone beeped with something.  "You have more than your sword collection?"

"No comment to the ATF officer," Xander quipped.  Chris glared at him.  "I hold the DC Slayer's arsenal if necessary."

"Where?  We haven't seen that."

Xander smiled.  "Magic."

"Uh-huh."  He stared at him.  "It gets moved here.  If she needs it, we can hand some to her."

"We have a calling stone set up in case she needs something.  It won't work here."

"You can't leave it there."

"I'll have someone redo that spell," he muttered.  "Set it up in my off-duty house."

"You're not moving it to Denver!"

Xander shrugged.  "I will when I finally get to escape back there."  He smiled.

"Hell no."

"Yay.  You do realize you're less than a hundred miles from the main Stargate and all the trouble that could bring?"

"Under my direct supervision only," he ordered.

"I'll let you bargain me down to Ezra helping me pet the babies and pretties."

Chris considered it then nodded.  "Deal."  He shook his hand.  "Eat something.  Ezra's looking for you to paddle you to death."  He walked off.  "Standish, you're now in charge of the DC slayer's arsenal."

"We have one?" Ezra asked casually.  Chris smirked and nodded.  "That's fine, I'll get an inventory from our future president."

"He's hiding from the spanking."

Xander snuck around them, blowing a kiss.  "We'll see.  I didn't like spanking games with Anya so we'll have to see."  He stared at Chuck.  "Don't make me replace you?" he begged.

Chuck smiled.  "I'm considering it, Xander."

"Evan could use you.  Plus we're getting the mini Jack.  The Joint Chiefs said so."

Chuck laughed.  "Yeah, that might be bad.  We'll see."  Xander smiled.  "Anything for your first few days?"  Xander jogged back to get it and brought it back.  He looked through things.  "Wow."  He looked at him.  "This is...."

"Yeah."  He smirked.  "A lot.  Horace at the House heard already."  He walked off before Ezra could grab him.  "Hi, Ez."

"It will not save you," he called.  "I will get you later.  Your dogs will help me."

Xander blew a kiss back and ducked under the arms of one of the door guards.  "Sorry, guys, escaping the pouting."

Chris looked at Ezra.  "You need leash training."

"He'd never wear a collar daily," he quipped back sarcastically.  Chuck burst out laughing and had to run to the bathroom.  Ezra went to calm Xander down.   "What arsenal?" he asked casually.

"My pretties."

"Have we perhaps named the artillery?"

"Only the few I've had since Sunnydale."

Ezra stared at him.  "I'm starting to fear for my sanity."  Xander gave him a deep, moan inducing kiss.  "That helped slightly.  Dinner so we can look over your inventory?"

"Sure.  Should I pick up something?"

"Please.  Something not steak in case I get nominated for something else."  Xander grinned and headed into the kitchen.  Ezra shook his head.  The door guard coughed.  He looked at them.  "He's trying to get himself out of trouble."

"Clearly, sir.  My wife does the same thing only I get a naked dinner being fed to me from my lap."

Ezra smiled.  "He's creative enough to do so without hints.  Let me help him make sure the rest of the staffers wish to stay."  He went to make sure of that.  Some of them didn't like Xander and how blunt he was.  Fortunately the Chief of Staff had lists of replacement staffers.  Including for himself.  He was retiring to raise his grandchildren as he had announced.  He knew most of them had decided Xander was too blunt and would cause problems.  He would have to work on that with him soon.  Sometimes you couldn't air every thought you had.

***

Xander put on his suit for the swearing in, sighing in displeasure.  "I still look like a dork."

"You're supposed to be serious looking today," Ezra reminded him again.

"How is looking like a dork looking serious?"

He looked at him.  He gave the pants a tug back into the proper place then helped him tuck in his shirt.  It was too short.  Too small too.  "Whoever messed that up did a fine job of it."

"Clearly."  Xander stripped and went to find another of his new suits.  "Ezra, they're all misfitted except my tux and the one you said made me look nauseous."

He came to help him with a sigh.  "Wear that one," he said with a point.  "You haven't worn it outside of a date."

Xander kissed him.  "That was the first time I got to do more than kiss and be cuddly."  He smiled, pulling it down to find a shirt.  Ezra handed one and a tie over.  "Tie too?"

"Today, yes."

Xander nodded, changing and going to stare at himself.  He checked his shoes.  Uncomfortable dress shoes.  He switched them out for dress shoes made by a sneaker company.  They were more comfortable and had some traction.  He'd have some blisters later but he could treat those.

"Your feet will be sore."

"Can I wear black sneakers?"

"No."  He smiled, holding out the old pair.  "I shined them myself."  Xander took another kiss and traded them out.  Ezra got into his best suit, looking at himself.  It too had mysteriously shrunk.  He put on his favorite one and it was better.  He and Xander left to start the Presidential walk while Ezra waited at the end.  He handed him to Chris and Buck, who nodded back.  He got taken to the podium seating area.  He nodded at the ones sitting near him.

Evan's grandfather smiled at him.  "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?"

"It is quite a pleasant day.  It could be a much colder hike for Xander and Evan."  The old man smiled at him.  "I'm hoping they thought to de-ice it."

"I'm sure they have.  We can't interrupt a swearing in for a set of x-rays and a cast."

Ezra looked at him.  "Xander is the sort that would carry on and do his duty then whine about being injured or hide from the doctors all together."

The older man laughed.  "Evan thankfully grew out of his phase like that."  They smiled as the people near them cheered.  "So, there's rumors about a marriage?"

"Not at this point.  We are merely dating right now."  He smiled.  "Perhaps sometime in the next few years."

"Like your mother?" he asked.

Ezra stared at him then shook his head.  "No.  I wish to add no pressure to the incredible load he already bears," he said quietly.  "My job as his boyfriend is hard enough without having to help him be pressured by those who want a piece of him.  Being his husband would not shield him and may make things more severe.  I cannot do that to anyone."

"Some of those conservative folks might like it if you did marry.  It would prove he had good, family oriented ethics."

"I've heard that theorized but half of them still hate him for no longer dating dangerous women."

"True.  But you can't please everyone all the time."

"I know.  We're still thinking about it."  He smiled as the parade got closer and they walked through the crowds shaking hands.  "He is wearing his destiny quite well today."

"He is.  Doesn't look all that nervous."

"He doesn't want the job but he knows it's his duty and the people have spoken," Ezra said quietly.

"Some people are meant to lead men, even if they aren't meant to be politicians, Mr. Standish."

"Exactly."  The old man smiled and nodded.  "Evan was the same?"

"Quite.  I made sure he had everything he needed last night, including a fifth of good scotch."

Ezra laughed.  "Xander and I went for a midnight ride last night."

"You ride horses?"

"Yes, Xander and I both do.  My teammates and I taught him actually."  He smiled as they ascended the stairs, clapping.  Xander grinned at him before turning to the Chief Justice.  Cordelia chose to show up but Xander glared until she quit and floated off.  Ezra sighed, shaking his head.  "We really do have to banish Miss Chase."

The old man laughed.  Evan smiled at him.  He smiled back.  "A former girlfriend is always your harshest critic."  Xander took his oath and they clapped.  Evan took his and they clapped.  Then Xander gave his, obviously prepared for him, speech.   The crowd went wild and it was good.  They all fled for warmer areas.  Evan's grandfather caught up to him, giving him a hug.  "I'm proud."

"Thanks, Grandfather."  He walked him into the White House.

Xander took Ezra's hand to hold as they walked in.  "I made it through it without puking," he said happily.

"You did an excellent job," Ezra assured him with a smile.  "Even with Cordelia showing up."

"I really should banish her someday soon."  They went to the office.

John smirked.  "I left you guys a fully stocked bar for the nights when you need it and a lot of people who want to congratulate you both."  He shook their hands.

Xander filled out something and handed it over.  "Before anyone can say anything about Blackhawk."

John gave him a hug.  "Call if you need to rant.  I did it to Jack often enough."  He winked and left, being beamed with his dog to Atlantis.  "Finally!  Honey, I'm home!"

"You have paperwork waiting," Rodney called from the main area.  He looked at the snuffling thing.  "I see you brought the mutt."  John held up his presidential permission to have the dog on military bases with a smirk.  "Frame that and warn Keller so she can hand out the allergy pills."

"How many are?"

"Five or six."

"That's fine."  He hung up the permission letter in his office then took his dog to his room to relax.  He was finally free!

Rodney shook his head.  Atlantis was watching him and the dog again.  Her systems were cooing at the dog probably.  He went to check on his wife.  She was having a few practice contractions.

"Sir, we should evacuate her to a mainland hospital," one of the grunts said.

Rodney gave him a dirty look.  "Why?"

"In case we're attacked, sir."

"Have you seen us being attacked much here in San Francisco Bay?" he asked dryly.

"No but the wraith could show up again."

"Then I'm sure we'd have time to evacuate her to the mainland so she could fret with Mrs. O'Neill."  He walked off, going to the infirmary.  "Blackhawk is back."

"He's a sweet puppy.  Did Xander give him permission?"

"Of course."

"Hmm."  She led him to where Willow was panting.  "I think it'll be within an hour or so," she said happily.

"Wonderful.  Then I can watch for my child to spawn strange gifts like some mutant."

She swatted him.  "He will not!" Willow complained.

"Miss Chase showed up during the swearing in to say that something very bad was born today."

"It must be Xander in charge of things," she panted.  "It's not my child!"

Buffy came walking in and put something on the baby's lump.  "Well, it won't be this child but you weren't carrying twins before, Willow."  She looked at her, watching her swear.  "Dawn caught it.  She's being a slouchy housewife sort today at home."  She looked at Rodney.  "It's not a big, just a slightly extra passenger."

"Will we be able to tell the difference?" he asked.

Doctor Keller brought over the scanner.  "Yes."  She pointed.  "It has horns."

"That's a pretty good indication since Rodney doesn't, yeah," Buffy decided.  She helped by holding Willow's hand.  "So we'll deal with the demon and banish it," she assured her with a smile.  She looked down at the snuffling.  "Hi, Blackhawk, why are you here?"  The dog barked and sniffed at Willow, growling.  "I know.  Go back to John."  He ran off.

"The beast always has barked at you," Rodney said.

"Huh," Willow said.  She disappeared in a flash of light, leaving the baby and baby demon.

Buffy picked up the baby demon.  "You're high on hell's list, kiddo.  We'll give you to a demon council to raise."  She walked it off.  "Willow will be back in a minute, Rodney.  They replaced her last week sometime."

"The dog always barked at her."

"Blackhawk doesn't know how to hunt demons," Keller said.  "He reacts to the cat fur on her."

"Oh, that's good I suppose."  He stared at the other one.  "Is it demon tainted?"

She scanned, shaking her head.  "No, medium level ATA gene.  Perfectly healthy."  She got the clothes to put it on him.  "There we go."  Willow appeared with Dawn, who had her hair up in a sloppy ponytail.  They both stared at Dawn, who shrugged.

"No idea.  They apparently wanted to make sure her gifts went into her child, which it wouldn't if she gave birth.  So they fixed it."  She disappeared again.

"They're fucking mean, evil, shits and I should destroy them," Willow said firmly.

Rodney gave her a kiss.  "You had the least painful birth in history.  You should be thankful you won't be in here with the huge needles for many days."

She pouted.  "I wanted to experience the whole childbirth thing."

"Yes, well, you can talk me into possibly having another one sometime," he soothed.  "As long as it doesn't happen again."

"I doubt it can now," she said dryly.  He stared at her and she nodded.  He gave her the cuddle she wanted even if he was relieved.  "We'll have to start training him to respect nature once he can understand," she said quietly.

"If he shows the gifts we shall."

"No, Tara got trained from walking and she was always more calm in the Goddess than I was."

He stared at her.  "Then I shall.  We'll train him in science at the same time."  She smiled and picked up her son.  "Can we bring him back?"

"Yup.  Call me if you need help."  They walked out together.

***

Xander let Ezra dance him out to the first song they had picked by process of elimination.  They had hired someone nice to sing it to them.  Xander smiled at Ezra since he had reminded him to lighten up before something bad happened.  The dance was a nice paced, yet slow enough to be a long cuddle on the floor.  Then the band swung into something faster but still soft, something jazzy.  That was nicer.  They relaxed with the press attention now on who was attending instead of on them.

They danced a few more numbers then got some punch and winked at the guard, who helped them slip out to the more fun ball.  Evan was there getting down with the pinching old dames of society.  Clearly they knew his family since he wasn't grimacing.  Ezra and Xander danced off quietly, not paying attention to anyone else.  They were holding a quiet talk about decorating the living room for the dogs.

Evan looked over at the gasp then at his dance partner.  "That's his boyfriend," he assured he with a smile.  "We like Ezra.  He's a very strong agent, has a strong moral code."

She huffed.  "They're still together."

He nodded, letting her go.  "They are and he deserves to be happy after all he's given up for all of us."  He went to find a nicer dance partner.  His grandfather's former mistress could complain about his rudeness all she wanted.  He cut in on Xander, smirking at him.  "So, decided to escape the formal thing?"

"We'll escape back there later."  He smirked, dancing him off.  "I usually let Ezra lead," he admitted quietly.  Evan laughed, taking over control of the dance.  It was better.  The song ended and Evan handed him back.  "Thanks, Evan."

"Welcome, Xander."  He smiled, going to find another pretty thing to dance with.  They were all hugging and wanting in his BDU's tonight.

Ezra smirked at Xander as he took him back.  "He doesn't do too badly," Ezra said.  They took another few dances before they snuck off to another party.  Then they went back to the formal ball.  The news people spotted them dancing and it was fine.  For now.  Being in the lime light was a pain in the ass but they'd put up with it.

***

The new press secretary smiled at the people the next morning.  "The doom portent his former girlfriend put out during the swearing in was because a witch he knows had a demon infect her and it could have used her powers.  That has been solved."

One of the reporters raised her hand.  "Where did the Colonel go?"

"He and his dog are both hiding on his city.  I'm told he cackled all night at being away from all of you."  They all smirked at him.

"Is President Harris allowing his boyfriend to stay over?"

"I don't know.  I don't ask about that sort of thing.  I know he was here last night sorting out Xander's wardrobe and the weapons he brought with him."

"Weapons?" one interrupted.

"He was holding the slayer arsenal for the one in DC since she's technically part of his guard.  So his swords, stakes, those things.  His special battle axe."

"We know he has guns," that same reporter asked.

"True and they're probably in the gun safe in his room.  I'm told his boyfriend has hold over the slayer arsenal at this moment because he is an ATF agent as well.  That way they make sure what he has and what he doesn't have."

"That's reasonable I suppose.  Are those other ATF agents staying?"

"They have been asked.  I'm not sure if they'll stay his full term or not."

"Does President have any houses outside of the one here?"

"He does have a newly remodeled farm in Denver near Agent Larabee's.  Since his horse plays with theirs."   He pointed at another.

"We heard he had remodeled something in town and flipped it?"

"Yes.  He bought a seizure property and remodeled it to sell off.  It was a beautiful job and used as a fallback for him on bad days before.  The new owners were very happy with it I'm told."

"Is he doing that again?"

"He has too much work to do that now."  He smiled.  "If not, he might help Agent Standish remodel his condo."

"Are we going to see a presidential wedding?"

"No idea.  Their remarks have been things like 'I don't want to add to the pressure of his job', from both sides, and that they've only been dating a year.  They are taking things slowly so they're sure about things.  If so, we might see one around midterms.  No one's sure yet."

"Will it be a quiet one like the General's was?" another reporter asked.

"No idea.  Standish can be a bit of a peacock about his clothes.  Xander likes things to be plain and simple.  If we do, they'd probably have to make sure the slayers stayed out of the planning so they didn't end up in tight leather but we don't know."  He smiled.  "That was a quote from the president this morning when someone else asked him."

The group laughed and got back on bigger targets.  The big, gay wedding of the century wasn't news.  Yet.

***

Six days later Xander heard the radio chatter of the guards going apeshit and got out of bed, heading to see what was going on.  "What?" he demanded.

"Sir, we need to take you to safety downstairs," one of the guards said, trying to haul him off.

Xander stopped him.  "Why?"

"Sir, we have an alien craft right above the white house!"

Xander huffed, going out there.  "Yo, whoever's doing the bad _Independence Day_ remake, you're freaking out my dogs.  Stop it!"

A lit board came down and asked where John Sheppard was very politely.  Even said please.

Xander grinned.  "He's on Atlantis.  Head west," he said with a point.  "Until you hit the other ocean.  He's in the Ancient city there."  A 'thank you kindly' flashed and the ship flew off.  Xander shook his head all the way inside, going to calm his dogs down.  He could hear them freaking out all the way outside.  He called John.  "You have visitors that showed up here."  He hung up and went up to his room.  "Hey!  It's gone.  Calm down!"  They ran to cuddle the daddy and make sure he was all right.

The guards shared a look then one went to tell Larabee.  He would spank the President for that.  "Sir, did you watch the news just now?" he said in greeting.  "No, faced down the alien space ship and told them where to find former President Sheppard.  Apparently they were looking for him."  He smirked.  "Told them to quit hovering over the white house, it was freaking out his dogs."

He made a 'touchdown' fist punp to his partner.  "Yes, sir, I think that might be a good thing to talk about.  Not even armed.  Thank you, sir."  He hung up.  "He'll talk with him tomorrow about stupidly heroic things."  He saw Ezra walk past.  "He's calming down his dogs, Agent Standish."

"I'm sure he is," he said dryly.  "He'll be late for any meetings tomorrow."

"I'll leave a note for Chuck, sir."  He went to do that.  Thankfully he didn't have to deal with that and all the bad alien things could happen to the two former presidents.  Unless some of them liked Evan Lorne that way.

***

Evan flipped off the news when he saw the replay, shaking his head.  "I would've went out with a piece of artillery," he muttered, sipping his coffee.  It was a comfortable house and nicely decorated.  The kitchen was wonderfully stocked.  Xander had even forgotten his twinkie stash so he had a late night snack.  As long as he didn't turn into Xander it'd be all right and the world would be fine.

Mamma Drama.

Ezra looked around the magazine rack in his favorite bookstore.  Everywhere was pictures of them as a couple, him alone, Xander alone, and ministers decrying them as a couple.  It was enough to make a man blush.  He got the magazine he wanted and checked out, stunning the checkout clerk.  He smiled nicely and she stuttered but he signed the magazine she asked him to.  Then he fled to his car and back to the sanity and safety of the White House.  This was going to drive him insane.  He walked into the white house.  "Have we seen the news?" he asked the press secretary.

"I've seen many stories about your inauguration dance."  He smiled.

"There were no magazines without us on the cover."

"That's really a good thing for him."

"It's a bit disturbing," Ezra corrected.

"Sorry.  I'll see if we can keep some of it down, Ezra."

"Thank you."  He went to tell Xander.  Xander was holding his forehead with the palm of his head, staring at the top of his desk, phone to his ear.  He sat down to watch him.

"Yes, I heard," Xander said into the phone.  "No, that's not what I want to happen."  He thought for a second.  "No, that's a very bad idea.  Thank you, Director, but that's not necessary.  Really."  He hung up on him, looking at Ezra.  "Your director wants to move you all back to Denver since we're all so close and he wants me to sell my house in Denver."

"Hmm.  Due to us?"

"Due to the fact that it looks odd that I'm dating an agent of his agency," he said dryly.  "Apparently as the VP it was fine but as the Prez it's a no-no," he finished sarcastically.  "Chuck, can I have Chris please?" he called.  Chris came in a few minutes later, already scowling.  "Your director?"

"Just called to say you're kicking us back to Denver?"

"No.  He called me to tell me that he was going to move all of you back because it looks bad for his agency and that I need to sell my house there."

"Fat chance," Chris said dryly.

Xander stared at him.  "How can I help?"

"I don't know," Chris admitted.  "I'll go talk to him in a few minutes.  He requested a meeting."

"If you're moving, we're going to have to talk about guards.  The Secret Service are back to giving me bad looks again."

"I know," Chris said.  "Relax."

"I'm about ready to fire his ass," Xander said bluntly.

"That would be a dramatic overreaction," Ezra said quietly, staring at him.

Xander looked at him.  "They're punishing you because of me!  Hell no!  I won't allow that."

"I agree," Chris said.  "For now, calm down.  We'll figure things out, Xander."  He walked off to talk to his idiot director.  He didn't know why the big problem had suddenly started.  It hadn't mattered for the last five years that they had been in DC.

Xander looked at Ezra, who sighed and smiled.  "You're still mine.  I'm fucking possessive and I'll be damned."

Ezra smiled.  "I agree fully."  He stood up.  "Every single magazine this week is focusing on our dance."

"Thank you for giving me those lessons," Xander said with a smile.

"You're quite welcome and it was a bit of fun.  Even when you stepped on my foot."  He left to warn the others.

Xander sat and seethed and plotted.  This was not happening to his boyfriend.  The attacks had been bad enough.  This attack wasn't going to happen for long.

***

Xander walked into the NCIS office, the guards falling over themselves as they stood up to salute.  Xander smiled and waved.  "Guys, relax.  I'm here informally."  He got onto the elevator, heading up to the fourth floor.  He got off and walked into the director's office.  He pointed at the door.  "He in?" he asked with a smile.

"Yes, sir," the secretary said, eyes wide.

Xander smiled.  "Relax, it's not a problem."  He walked in and shut the door behind himself.  The director stared at him, mouth slightly open.  "I'm sure you've heard about the idiot bigot who suddenly decided to possess the ATF director?" he asked dryly, sitting down.

"Yes, sir, I have heard rumors he's trying to get your boyfriend and his team back to Denver."

"Yup.  Which leaves me with scared Secret Service guards who don't think that they can handle me again."

Director Vance winced.  "I've heard they've had problems with you protecting them instead of doing it the right way."

"Yup."  He smirked.  "So, the ATF director threw you to the wolves."

"Why?" he asked, still wincing.  This could be really bad.

"Apparently I'm being given one of your teams as mine."  He handed over the note.  "The head of the Secret Service agreed and hopes that they can build some stronger responses as well."

Vance read it then looked at him.  "He'd never accept."

"I know.  They're going to throw a fit."  He smiled.  "I'm fighting against the ATF director.  I'm about to need a new ATF director actually if you know someone."

"I know a few I'd suggest," he offered.  "I can forward names to you."

"Please do.  I understand the Secret Service guys' complaints.  That's how I was trained and even when I can relax and let them do it, if it's a serious thing I still protect the guards first.  I did it to Larabee's team allll too often."

"I heard."  He put that letter down.  "Why him?"

Xander shrugged.  "No clue.  Well, some clue.  The ATF director wanted me to start dating DiNozzo instead of Ezra."

Vance snickered.  "He's a tithound."

"I've heard."  He smiled.  "So.....  How do we handle this?"

"I can lend the team to the Secret Service."

"I'd appreciate that.  Even if Gibbs does bark.  He can guard Evan since he's got all the women throwing themselves at him."  Vance snickered and got them up there.  Xander looked over as the door opened and the whole team walked in.  "Morning, gentlemen and Officer David."

"Sir!" Gibbs said, saluting.

"At ease, Gibbs.  I'm here to fuck up your lives courtesy of the ATF and the Secret Service throwing your agency to the wolves."

Tony stared at him.  "There's a rumor the ATF head is being a pain to your relationship, sir."

"He's actually tried to list my house in Denver on me without my authority," Xander said dryly.  "He's about to have a rude awakening when he's arrested for fraud."  He looked at Gibbs.  "You'd be helping Evan since he's got women literally throwing themselves at him.  He needs you to glare at them like Chris used to."

"We're being reassigned?" Gibbs demanded.  Vance handed over the letter.  He growled.

"That was my feeling too," Xander agreed dryly.  "I can understand the head of the Secret Service.  I realize I'm hard to guard because I'm active, I do protect myself and others, and the occasional apocalypse happens."

Gibbs looked at him.  "Do you want this?"

"It'd be bad of me to go on a shooting spree in the ATF director's office," he said dryly. "It's not considered good presidential behavior."  Gibbs winced.  "Oh, no, he actually called a realtor to list my farm in Denver without my permission.  Fortunately they called to confirm that I was listing it."

"Big, gay wedding," Vance said dryly.

"I'm about to.  Ezra doesn't like that idea though."  He looked at Gibbs.  "Even if they do come back, and the Head of the Secret Service wants them back badly before I unmake the ATF, your team would be the secondary guard team.  Because Evan is a combat veteran, he's only a few years off combat in Pegasus, he's still got combat nerves.  The Secret Service guys would back you guys up but Evan and I are both like John and Jack were.  We're used to protecting ourselves and others, with their health being first.  Chris used to swear at me whenever I moved one of them out of harm's way."

"I understand why," Gibbs agreed.  "I do the same thing sometimes, sir."

"Gibbs, I'm a Xander and I don't have a broomstick stuck up my ass.  Use my name unless I'm chewing you a new one."

Gibbs nodded.  "I know you're not really happy with the job, Xander."

"Hell no!"

Gibbs smirked.  "I'd feel the same way."

"Evan already does.  We're going to find someone decent and campaign like hell for them so we don't have a second term."

"That might help."  He looked at his team.  "The team has been ordered to be his and the Vice President's guards."

Ziva looked at him.  "What about me?"

"You can take Rona's place as my slayer guard, Officer David.  I'm used to female warriors.  You would be sparring with me and Evan most days."

She nodded.  "I could handle that."

"They're talking about a full guard detail," Tony DiNozzo said.  "What about McGee?"

"We used JD's computer skills sometimes," Xander told him.  "They won't go cold.  I will tell you that they will assign another team if you throw an absolute fit.  I have.  He's not going to be happy at all with me."

Gibbs looked at his team.  "Let us talk," he ordered.  They nodded.

Vance cleared his throat.  "It does look good on NCIS," he said quietly.

"I like NCIS and Gibbs' way of doing things," Xander said.  "He's just as plain spoken and blunt as I am.  If I was an agent I'd be the same way he is probably.  I still don't get politics."  They nodded and left to talk.  Xander looked at Vance.  "Send me those names by tonight?" he asked with an evil smirk.

"Gladly, sir.  Who's arresting him?"

"Fornell."  He gave him his most innocent look.  "Fornell was not pleased either.  He thought we might break up and I'd start to date again."

Vance shuddered.  "Please don't, sir."

"I'm going to try not to.  How are you doing?"

"I'm doing good, sir.   I've stepped up my listening and feedback system so I hear more problems.  That way I can act sooner."  Xander smiled.  "Who else would they name?"

"Don't know.  Probably your LA team."

Vance winced.  "There's only one."

"I heard but they're tough guys and that's what they want."  He shrugged.  "I've already told him to snatch from multiple agencies so one's not denuded of the best agents."  Gibbs and his team walked back in.  "Are you going to yell at them?"

"We can sub for a month," Gibbs said.  "Unfortunately we do a lot of the work around here."

Xander nodded.  "That's more than enough time for me to make the head of the ATF beg for his sudden bigotted behavior."  He stood up.  "I'll see you guys tomorrow?"

"Who's on you today?" Tony asked.

Xander smiled.  "I'm sneaking.  Technically I'm a hologram because I'm really at the white house taking a nap for a migraine."  He smirked.

"DiNozzo, go with him," Gibbs ordered, shaking his head.  "The head of the ATF?"

"Oh, do ask Fornell," Xander said smugly.  "That way he can spread around the swearing."  Gibbs snickered at that.  They left together.  Xander looked at Tony in the elevator.  "Need to stop at your desk?"

"Please."  They got off on that floor and let him grab some necessary stuff.  He followed him back to the elevator.  "Did your dogs come?"

"Yup.  They're lounging on the couch today.  They do try to come down sometimes.  A few of the guards hate them.  I don't really care though."

"That's fine.  We can work that out."  He took the car keys from him, getting in to drive him back to the White House.  It was a long drive but nice.  Not much traffic today.  "Anything I should hear?"

"Now and then I have visions or insightful behavior."

"That's fine," Tony agreed.  "I can handle weird stuff."  Xander smiled at him for that.  They finally made it back and found the guards already huffy.  Tony got out and a few sighed in pleasure.  "We're only here for a month.  Gibbs has the Colonel starting tomorrow."  He walked Xander inside.  "Comm officer?"

Xander pointed.  "Down there, three floors.  Blair, take him to the comm."  That guard nodded, walking him that way.  "Dogs!" he bellowed, bringing them running.  He smiled, kneeling down to pet them.  "Good dogs.  Let's go outside to play some fetch."  He walked out to the guarded back yard with them.  They loved the gardens and ran around sniffing and finding all the nicest plants to water.  Then they went back to the oval office.

One of the senior guards walked in.  "Sir, your dogs should be upstairs."

Xander stared at him.  "Get out of my office and my white house."  The guard looked stunned.  "They're not destroying anything.  They're shaved down so they're not shedding.  No one's allergic that I know about.  They're keeping me from making plots and plans against agents who want to destroy me."  He smirked.  "I don't care."

"Yes, sir," he said stiffly, walking off.  He went to talk to DiNozzo since he was the one that got pulled in.  "Sir," he said.

Tony looked at him.  "Call me DiNozzo or Tony."

"Can you teach him to put his dogs up?"

"No.  They're keeping him calm and able to handle things.  Most other first dogs get to hang out in the office now and then.  McGee actually looked that up for someone."

"Oh.  I see."

"He's got enough stress right now to need something to play with when he's not busy unscrewing what the politics are causing because he's got a boyfriend.  Xander will gut the ATF and any other agency that tries shit with him, and I think the dogs will do a good job keeping him calmer so he makes more subtle plans than dissolving an agency."

"Good point, but they're not exactly *small* dogs."

"They probably know which guards will give in to begging and who will play with them when he can't."  He smiled.  "Just relax, let it flow.  Like all the attacks before he got sworn in, he's got more now and they're politically based."

"He could retire."

"If he does, I'm killing everyone that made him," Evan said from behind him.  "Then *I'll* dissolve the agencies involved."  Tony smiled.  "Agent DiNozzo?"

"Yes, sir."  He shook his hand.  "Special Agent Gibbs will be on your six tomorrow, sir."

"Good.  Maybe he can keep the begging whore society off me.  I had two Reps today wanting into my pants who offered me later favors to be my mistress."  Tony grimaced.  "Both over sixty.  I'm not against women that age but neither one was my type."

"The president mentioned those sort of incidences."

"Call him Xander, he insisted," Evan ordered with a smile.  "The same as I'm Colonel or Evan if I like you, DiNozzo."

"Yes, sir."

"Instead of sir."

"Yes, Colonel."  Evan grinned.  "We'll do what we can.  Xander also said you'd be sparring with my teammate, Officer David."

"Good.  I can't beat Xander and it's making me feel pouty."  He looked at the other guard.  "Leave the dogs alone.  It's good for everyone.  That way he doesn't quit and move to Denver."  He walked off.

Tony looked at the other guard, smiling.  "Relax when we're here.  Stress when we're under attack or outside."

"I already do.  There's a bunch of scary folks who hate him."

"And he's going to shove back," Tony assured him.

"Yes I am," Xander agreed as he walked past them.  "Fornell was most happy to get the film that Dawn set up to watch the militias who hate me for taking it up the ass."  He looked at the guard.  "Be uptight somewhere I can't see you unless we're at the club, dude."

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you."  He looked at Tony.  "Ezra's still here.  He's the last going back.  My horse is at John's farm, which I'm renting until I get to leave this hellhole of politics.  Blossom is still there so I don't have to ride alone."

"I can ride," he admitted.  "I think Ziva may be able to."

"It's riding or going to Camp David to get really drunk."

"We like riding," Tony said with a smile.

Xander grinned back.  "Most of the guards have."  He looked at the other one.  "We have to go to Belize in six weeks.  Figure it out."  He nodded, going to report that and make security arrangements.  He looked at Tony.  "Yes, they're all that stiff sometimes."  He walked off, going to call Fornell.  He was being a pain but he wanted to know how things were going.  It was too important to risk.

***

Xander smiled at the press people waiting for him in the rose garden.  The dogs followed him out and he looked at them.  "I thought you two were upstairs."  They barked and laid down beside him.  "Okay."  He smiled at the press people.  "I'm going to make some people beg and cry," he announced.  A few gasped at that.  "I'm really not happy."  He read his speech and a few nearly swooned.  Then he finished his speech with a nice few questions that they were happy with.  No one asked him a thing about Ezra or their relationship.  The dogs ran off to sniff the people, growling at one.  "Do you have a cat?"

"No, sir, I have a hamster for my daughter."  He looked at the dogs, who were still looking mean.  "I don't know why they don't like me."  Gibbs walked him off to pat him down and look things over.  The dogs were growling at the chair so they checked it and Tony got the other reporters out when they found the small blinking box.  Not a bomb but a remote device of some sort.  Xander joked with the reporters and they relaxed a lot.  They figured out the box was a remote microphone.  That made everyone relax.  Though Gibbs chewed on the people who were supposed to have checked the area before letting the reporters in.

***

Xander smiled as Fornell walked in.  "I'm sorry I was so nagging for information but you know it's important to me."

"I did.  I understood that.  Your boyfriend calm you down and tell you to quit calling me?"

"No.  I figured you had it well in hand when the arrests started," Xander said with a grin.  "So?"

"You need a new director of the ATF.  You do realize I was never fully confirmed?"

"Yup.  I think it's pretty obvious though.  Unless you hate us that much?"

"No.  I find the job allows me more time with my daughter and to swear at stupid idiots."  Fornell sat down.  "Sir, you'll still have some problems.  A lot of higher ups are saying you're purging the people who protested your relationship.  Even after your speech."

"I realize they would.  Unfortunately the other five that're going soon aren't that sort."  He smiled.  "They just want to do other things without me finding out that they're idiots."

"Am I one?"

"No.  Or Vance.  The head of JAG is in trouble though since he's been funneling money to France, which is going to a Hamas leader's little sister."

"That's his niece, his brother's her father from the rumors I heard."

"I'm going to talk to them first, Fornell.  I'm not reactionary.  I do have ideas and I do think things through most of the time."

"Is your boyfriend's team back home safely?"

"Yes, and their horses."  He grinned.  "They're fine.  AD Travis out there knows to call me immediately if someone even *thinks* about harming Ezra because of me."  He smirked.  "Since two of my ex's are out there...."

"Oh, sh...oot," Fornell said.

"For that I'll allow swearing.  I would.  I don't particularly want one back.  The other is...well...problematic but I gave Chris her dossier as a going away present.  It's in the barn."

Fornell smirked.  "Good to know, sir.  Anything else we need to hear about?"

"Not yet.  Can we work together?"

"Yes sir."

"Good.  Want the foreign intel fed back to you or just to your analysts?"

"However it's usually done seems to be working."  Xander handed over something with a smug look.  He read it over.  "Why haven't we heard about that?"

"Your analyst said it wasn't important and it was unlikely."

"It happened earlier," he muttered.

"Yeah."

"I'll fix that."  He stood up.  "I want my people to be efficient and work well within the law."

"I like most laws," Xander told him.  "I also realize that the FBI is held to the highest standards because you're the head cops in the country.  I'm sure your people will uphold it when they can.  If not, I would like to be warned before it hits the papers?"

"If I can, sir.  Barring fuck ups."  He smirked as he left.  That folder was very interesting.

Xander thought about some things.  The ATF couldn't go under any other agency.  It would save money if they did but it wasn't feasible.  He texted Ezra to let him know he was still okay and to see if anyone had gotten that file out of the barn yet.  Then he got back to soothing foreign fears that he was going to cause a war.  Apparently he was back in scary asshole mode again.

***

Josiah picked up Ezra's phone from his desk.  "Chris, did you get a file from your barn?" he called.  Larabee came out of his office to look at the text message, groaning as he walked off to drive home.  Josiah answered it for Ezra, telling the kid that he was at lunch with his mother at the moment and had left his phone in the office, that he'd text him later.  Then he got back to his current case.  The higher ups had given them stuff to do as soon as they got back.

***

Later that night, Chris looked at his team.  "After having retrieved that file Xander so nicely left us that someone took, we have a second case."  He put down the file.  "Ezra, you'll get to meet one of his ex's."

Ezra took it to look over, moaning at what was in there.  "Oh, dear Christ," he muttered.

"Xander gave it to us?" Vin asked, taking it from the limp hands.  He read it, going a bit pale.  "She sold him what?"

"Yeah," Chris said dryly.  "Ezra, is that in his armory?"

"No, not in the least."

"Good!"  They settled in to figure out how to get her.  Xander had been very generous with the information on her.  Clearly someone needed to be paddled to death soon.  Unfortunately they were two-thirds of the country away from him.

***

Xander looked up as someone walked in.  "Yes, Speaker."  He stared at the Speaker for the House.

"You're being a vindictive ass?"

"About...."

"The ATF."

"In part because the man tried to sell my house on me."  The Representative gaped.  Xander nodded.  "That and he decided that being the president it looked bad on his agency so he left the White House partially unguarded and didn't make plans to fix it.  Plus he let three arms dealers go recently.  All of whom sold to militias.  They were released and their files destroyed on his orders."

The other man shuddered.  "I understand fully."

"It's not just about me and Ezra, but that was why he did it.  I'm not going to let anyone get away with that shit.  I don't care if I have to remake an agency from the ground up."

"Agreed," he said, blinking at him.  "You used to be nicer, sir."

Xander smiled.  "I'm much nicer than this usually but unfortunately I had to listen to someone at the Vatican decry the whole country because of me and tell his people to leave before they were tainted, and then he called me to swear at me for daring to be happy.  So my answer at three this morning was 'hey, next time, I won't show up for an apocalypse since it's in Saudi.  Let's see how you handle being in a hell dimension when the hellmouth there opens'."  The Speaker's mouth flopped open again.  "They have plans, Bob.  Really."

"Thank God," he muttered.  He sighed.  "You're looking like a vindictive man."

"I realize that.  And tomorrow I'm going to go help on a habitat project for a children's hospital."  That got a smile.  "I miss working with my hands.  Gibbs agreed it was a good thing and Evan can go too.  I'm not vindictive unless you screw with me."

"I'll let that be known.  He really...."  Xander nodded with a grin.  "Then I'm very sorry, sir."

"So am I.  He was supportive until the people spoke and wouldn't let me run and hide."  They shared a look.  "Did you get my notes?"

"Yes, sir, and they seem reasonable.  One does want to add an amendment to one."  He handed that over.

Xander read it over, then looked at him.  "I'd so veto this in a heartbeat."

"I know, sir.  That's why I'm warning you."

"The Senate won't so it'll have to go to committee to be meshed and they would leave it off."  He handed it back.  "But thank you for warning me.  We all know I don't want to play politics.  I'd rather have an easy coast to the time I can run and hide."

"I agree, sir.  Your upcoming agenda of bills was fairly skimpy and almost all were reasonable.  We didn't like the Title IX bill or the ERA one."

"They're needed.  And that's not my best work, but they're still needed."

"I agree.  Some people thought it sounded communist."

Xander shrugged.  "They're the same ones who expect their wives to be waiting at home in heels, pearls, something sexy, and have their dinners cooked for them.  Then to grandly give in to their demented and boring sexual desires even if they're tired and don't want to."

"Yes, sir, quite a few of them are from the fifties mindset," he agreed with a smirk.  Xander snickered and nodded.  "I'll let that be known.  You may have to bow on that one."

"We'll see what happens but if I have to, I can bow on Title IX without bowing on the others.  We'd have to negotiate on the other."

"I can see that and understand fully, sir.  The others are more important.  Though, the education department is in a tizzy?"

"I pointed out that countries who had *one* test to teach to did better than ones who had *fifty* tests to teach to.  Because there's a lot of difference between them."

"Hmm.  So maybe the high school graduation ones should be standard?"

"I'm thinking one per schooling section.  One elementary, one middle or junior high, one high school.   That way we can measure them all on the same stick.  Even if it's only given once a decade."

"That's not a bad idea," he decided.  "I'll let that be talked about by the people on the education committee.  Would we be borrowing another country's so we can compare against them?"

"Actually I was told that we're comparing SAT from foreign students to ours.  For some reason I didn't understand.  I do know no student should suffer through a craptastic system like I grew up in."

"Fully agreed with, sir.  I'll talk that up to them."  He smiled and left.

Xander got back to the pointless paperwork, looking at his dogs.  "Let's go play."  They ran out with him to go play.  Not like he couldn't work late.  He had nothing else to do tonight.

The Press Secretary looked out there to watch them walk past then made a call.  "Before anyone says anything, it's just a break and without Ezra he's not getting enough hours of sleep at night," he said quietly.  "Yes, again," he admitted.  "He'll be fine but that's why he looks so tired and why he's taking so many play breaks."  He hung up and got back to his next speech's wording.  Xander really needed a professional speech writer.

***

Ezra watched the dratted entertainment show Xander had gotten him hooked on, seeing how his boyfriend was pouting and miserable looking.  He looked tired.  He was unironed, even with the white house valet, and he was miserable.  He sighed, staring at him.  In truth, Chris Larabee had asked him if he was depressed earlier.  He wasn't sure why he was so afflicted.

Somehow Xander had wiggled his way past all his armaments and levels to find the buried treasure of his heart.  Which proved to Ezra he had to do something since he was thinking in poetic narrative.  He called him.  "The blasted reporters say you're tired and look depressed."  He smiled at the tired response.  "I can understand that.  How much longer before it's fixed?"  He got comfortable, listening to him tell him what was going on.  They really did have to fix this DC to Denver problem they had.

***

"Sir," one reporter asked.  "What do you say to reports that the Vatican wants it's millions of followers to leave this country to the, quote, ungodless masses?"

Xander stared at her.  "Most of what I would say isn't fit to print," he said dryly.  He took a deep breath.  "Let me preface this particular answer with the fact that I have never had any disrespect or ill intent toward any of the priests or nuns I have worked with at the Council and here.  I respect their right to their beliefs.  I congratulate them for finding a faith that suits them.  Their heads....  I can do without.  The whole country can do without.  If they're that adamant, then perhaps we should cut diplomatic ties with their pseudo monarchy and all that bullshit they put out."  The reporters all stared in horrified awe.

"We all know I'm a man of action instead of talking.  I'm not the sort to talk a problem to death.  I'd rather be out handling the problem.  This problem...  Does the Vatican itself do anything but hoard art that they stole, and bribed their way into?  Hide knowledge in their ancient archives?  Anything at all?  Because I haven't seen a single thing that they've done.  The main church in this country and others, the local churches, they do for the people.  They help those in need, they help people who are troubled, all that.

"I respect the Church fully.  Just not their supposed king, who is not infallible since I had to take a slayer away from him three years before I got elected to be VP.  They were going to torture her because she was a slayer and going after a pretty high ranking demon who was hiding among some of that precious artwork."  He stared at them.  "I welcome each and every church in this country who wants to stay, to help me make a difference, to help people.  The rest... I hear France is nice."

He shifted his stance.  "Other than that, I think it's incredibly rude for him to do that just because of who I'm dating.  Did he want me to commit suicide the night before I got sworn in?  No, that would be a mortal sin to them so I couldn't.  So, even though I thought about it, they wanted me to run and not see the people of this country, and theirs, protected?  I may not have wanted this job but you guys wanted me and I'll do the best damn job I can while I'm in here. If some old guy in a robe doesn't like it, I welcome him to find reality among the people instead of sitting on a gold throne that was built with blood and bones of millions of people."

"Sir, a priest here in this country said that your winning was an act of mind control by one of the Council," a female reporter asked.

Xander snorted, shaking his head.  "I know exactly two witches who could do that.  One was my former best friend, who married into Sheppard's project.  I doubt her spouse would like that and if I even thought she had a hand in it I would've beaten her to death.  She knows I would.  We've had a talk about her magic use in the past when it started to edge toward harmful and I promised her I'd kill her if she stepped over that line.  She agreed."

He looked around again.  "The other is like my little sister and she knows how miserable doing this job can make me because I'm not fully suited for it.  I'm not the suave, well spoken, politically intelligent, friend making guy that Sheppard was or Evan Lorne is.  I'm a soldier.  I've been one a *long* time.  We all know I'm more comfortable with a weapon than I am at a diplomatic table.  I'll still do my duty because you guys elected me, but I hope I don't screw up too much.  I really do.  She knows this and she'd never do that to me.  You can tell the crackpot bishop in New York I said that."

"Sir, have you and Agent Standish broke up?" another one asked to make him lighten up.

He snorted.  "No.  It's just a long distance thing now because he's back at his posting.  I wish like hell he was here.  I try really hard to live up to his standards for my manners and to keep calm like he would want when things like this happen.  I'm probably failing at it but he hasn't done more than tell me to calm down recently."  He shrugged.  "Anything else?"  No one said anything.  "Then have a better afternoon, people."  He walked off, taking the dogs down to the gym to go for a run on the treadmill.

Tony followed him until he locked himself in then went to Evan Lorne's office.  "Evan."  He shut the door.  "Should we consider a suicide watch on Xander?" he asked quietly.

"No.  We all know he's miserable but until all this shit stops Ezra can't really come back to DC.  I'm sure they talk each and every night."

Tony shook his head.  "No, he's more than miserable.  He's down in the gym with the dogs."

Evan nodded.  "Like I do, he'll work off stress down there."

"There's weapons in there."

"Yeah, I know.   He knows this is his duty.  It'll keep him longer than we'd all expect.  He's the sort to fulfil his duty even if it kills him."

Tony licked his lips but nodded.  "You know he has a letter in his desk addressed to you?  Chuck found it."

"Yeah, I heard.  Chuck told me first about his resignation letter.  That's an in case, not a certainty, Tony.  I'll talk to him."

"Please.  The last time I saw anyone looking that upset they didn't wake up the next day."

"I know."  He got up and went to talk to Xander.  He locked them in the gym, walking over to the weight bench.  "It helped John more when he ran."

"I twisted my ankle when I came down wrong," Xander murmured.  "Go away, Evan."

Evan stared at him.  "I was just asked if I should put you on suicide watch," he said bluntly.

Xander dropped the weights, staring at him.  "You know damn well...."  He sat up.

"That you're miserable, that you can't sleep at night, all that?  Yeah."  He stared at him.  "If I could, I'd let you go take a vacation but I can't.  It's too early."

"I know."

"Is he saying things that aren't working out?"

"No.  He's on a surveillance case right now."  He slumped, then looked at him.  "I need something and someone there to help me.  This is *so* not my area of expertise.  Frankly I probably just caused a huge ass diplomatic mess."

"Possibly but I think we can do without the Vatican.  I'd like to keep ties with Italy though."

"I have nothing against Italy."  He looked at him.  "I don't know anymore."

"I know.  Calm down and we'll see what we can work out."

"It's hurting his team.  I can't upset them by having them dragged back here just so I can have Ezra closer."

"They were your friends, Xander.  I'm sure they'd see it as more than just wanting him."

"No.  Because it's hurting their careers too.  They're down to the shit jobs in Denver."

"Let me do some checking, okay?  Can you get Ezra out for a weekend?"  Xander shook his head.  "You're certain?"

"Yeah.  He's got surveillance every day for the next two fucking months on a gang that's running drugs and weapons.  Which has a high risk of getting his whole team dead.  We're too early in the term to go on vacation already so I can't casually show up to make his nights all better."

"I know.  Let me see what I can do."  Xander nodded.  "You should ask Ziva to spar with you."

"I'd be mean to her and probably would end up hurting her," Xander said.  He shrugged a bit.  "I know myself a bit too well and I'd never pull punches once I started to let the anger out.  I'd hit the pool but Doctor Lam didn't want me in water for a while since I had that unfortunate taint regrow after some sushi the other night again."

"Okay, so anything else that can relieve stress?" Evan asked.

"The dogs are tired of playing."

"I understand."  He patted him on the shoulder.  "We'll handle it."  He smiled.  "You had better never need that letter in your desk."  He walked off.

"Someday it'll be too much," Xander warned.  "I'm going to fuck things up majorly and it'll end up with me quitting to save the US pain."

Evan stopped to look back at him.  "Not even Sheppard can do that, Xander."  He went back to his office to grab that letter and shred it.  Then back to his own to call Larabee and talk to him.  Maybe Tony wasn't too far off.  Xander was having a serious self esteem dip into the negative pool again.

***

Gibbs watched the president move through his day like he was on automatic.  He didn't even flinch when he had to move him away from a suddenly appearing camera that could've been a weapon.  No jokes, no smiles that weren't fake, nothing.  This was getting bad.  Maybe they could smuggle him somewhere?  Snatch Standish and smuggle him to the same place?

The press were having a field day with all this.  Saying it was a bad break up and he was moping, that he was depressed, that he was actively suicidal and had called the American people idiots for electing him.  That one got countered at least by his history of speeches saying he'd do what he had to do even if it wasn't comfortable for him.  Finally they got him back to the white house and Xander went up to his apartment to rest.  Gibbs went to call Larabee to see if they could arrange something.

Because Gibbs wasn't sure they weren't right about him being depressed and that was bad for the US.  And the kid.

***

Xander woke up a few mornings later to the snuffling of the dogs.  He looked around and frowned, then got up and went to check.  "What the hell?" he muttered, grabbing a fire extinguisher to put out the lamp that was on fire.  He hit the emergency button.  "Outdoors!" he ordered.  The dogs ran.  Guards came rushing in and another grabbed another fire extinguisher to put it out.  The couch was starting to smolder so they wet it down too.  A fire crew had to be called in case the couch would flare up later.  Xander got led off by his guards to his office.  He sank into his chair, looking at them.  "The dogs woke me."

"Sheppard reported problems with that lamp before he left office, sir."  The press secretary ran in.  "That lamp Sheppard said kept going out?  It just lit on fire.  They're making sure nothing else is going to burn, including the couch next to it."

"Thank god.  Are you all right, Xander?"

"Yeah, I'm good.  The dogs woke me."  He coughed.  "No smoke inhalation or anything."  The press secretary nodded, going to make some preemptive calls to make sure everyone knew things were all right, it was just a lamp that had a short.  Xander looked at his guard.  "The dogs?"

"Digging in the rose garden."  Xander smirked, getting helped up to go out there.  "Sir, I'm going to be blunt," he said, shutting them in the oval office.  "You've lost weight again."  Xander stared at him.  "I know you're eating because half the time I'm the one who delivers your dinner upstairs.  I don't know what the hell is going on between you and Standish, sir, but it needs to be fixed before you get sick and he has to come visit you in the hospital."

"I've been eating."

"Sir, sometimes eating isn't enough."  He looked him over.  "You've lost a good ten pounds."  He looked him in the eyes.  "If you were my baby brother, I'd be pressing you to see a shrink."

"I'm not depressed.  I never get any sleep.  This is all exhaustion."

"Uh-huh.  Then perhaps you should have a stress free weekend at Camp David?"

"I can't.  It's too early in the term."  He shrugged.  "Thank you for being honest with me.  It's not the relationship stuff beyond not being able to sleep anymore."

"I had that when my wife and I split for six months because I was a dumbass," he said bluntly.  "I ended up on medicine and then in therapy to fix it."

"I can't do either.  The job won't let me."  He shrugged.  "I'm working on it."

"I know, sir.  Work faster?"  He walked him outside.  News crews were already there.  "Sir, reporter leeches."

Xander waved.  "It was just a lamp that had a short," he called.  "The fire crew is making sure the couch next to it didn't get set on fire."  They relaxed and he went to check on the dogs.  They were being good, they had dug up something one of Nixon's dogs had buried by the plaque.  He put it back and played with them, making them happy dogs.  "Thank you, guys."

The guard watched them, calling in their position to the comm officer.  That way no one worried too much.

***

"All wounds heal given enough time, except wounds of the heart," Josiah said quietly, looking at Chris.  "I think our brother has a fatal wound that will not heal."

Chris nodded.  "If I could, I'd smuggle him back to DC.  It's not possible until we're off this case."

Josiah looked at him.  "Do you think either one will last that long?"  He turned it on the entertainment station.  They had been worried for days about the president's sudden weight drop.  The picture of him in that thin t-shirt and sleep shorts had shown just how thin he was getting.  He watched Chris watch it.  "That, plus the dark circles, all that?"

"Ez is the same way," Chris agreed.  "Our hands are tied while we're here and the old higher ups are still in effect."

"You didn't hear that Bancroft from the Portland office just took over as temporary head?" Josiah asked with a grin.

"At least he'd know militias," Chris agreed.  "Is he being nominated?"

"I think Xander's going to watch him for a month, see how he does, then either appoint him or whoever he suggests."  He leaned against the wall.  "I don't know how to help either of them, Chris.  Ezra is out there staring at his cup of cocoa."

"Since when does Ez drink cocoa?"  He went to talk to him, sitting in the desk beside his chair.  "Cocoa?" he asked quietly.

"Xander told me once it had the answers to all life's problems at the bottom of the cup."  He looked at him.  "I'm persevering."

"Yeah but you're not living," Chris pointed out, staring him down until he looked away.  "I can arrange schedules, give you a weekend off."

"I fear the person behind all those moves won't hear of it."  He took a large gulp then got up to make himself some more.

"I don't care what some higher up idiot wants," Chris said bluntly.  "You deserve to be happy, just like the kid does."

Ezra looked at him.  "Ours or the one in DC?"

"Both."  He stared at him.  "Go home for a few days, Ez," he said quietly as he stood up.  "We could all use the days off your moping.  Plus you should make him eat.  That brain rotting infotainment station said he's losing weight rapidly."

Ezra nodded.  "I saw that picture.  He huffed that his guards thought he was depressed."  He took a drink.  "That's not what's worrying me.  The new text a while ago annoyed me and I was trying to think like him to calm down before I flew back to the east coast so I could perpetuate violence like he would."

"Why?" Chris asked, leaning back.  "What got you that upset that you went to cocoa?"

"It's very fine cocoa; rich, dark chocolate, tiny marshmallows that aren't hard little pucks.  Made with some of the finest chocolate there is."  He gave him a grim smile.  "Xander sent it to me when I had to leave the first time."  He took another sip as he sat down.  "As for who upset me this way...."  He closed his office door then looked at Chris again.  "Xander went to talk to my mother earlier."

"You're mad at him for talking to her?"

"No, I'm mad at her for persuading our present director to do things her way for the good of my career, which she still abhors.  I'm calming myself down before I make it back there and turn her into kibble for the dogs."  He took another drink.

Chris stared at him.  "You have all weekend off.  Come back happier, Ezra."  He stood up.  "And if you tear her apart, you have an alibi."  He left.  He could take some of Ez's shift himself.

Ezra smirked, finding out where his mother was at that moment.  He had been making plane reservations when Chris had come to him as a friend.  It was heartening to know that they loved his relationship as well.

***

Ezra walked up to his mother in the tea room she was in.  He sneered at her.  "You are no longer my blood, Mother.  No real relative of mine would ever do such disastrous things to my life because it didn't suit her current paramour.  Who, by the way, I have already talked to about your history of plucking wallets from the men you desire instead of their hearts."  He sneered at her guest then back at her.

"You are not allowed anywhere near me or mine, Mother.  I would suggest you leave this country.  Before I turn in the ATF's present director for the bribes you paid him to keep us apart."  He walked off.  A few people cheered.  He walked out and got back into his rental car, heaving a sigh of relief.  He was proud of himself for not punching her.  He drove off before she made it to the door.  He had a boyfriend to soothe.  He parked in his usual spot at the white house, getting out.

"Sir, that's Colonel Lorne's spot," the guard said.

Ezra stared at him.  "I believe he'll not complain since it was mine first."  He walked inside.  "Where is he, Paul?" he asked dryly.  "Also, make sure the young thing out there quits huffing because I parked in my spot."

"He's on a call with England, sir."

"That's fine."  He walked that way after signing in.  He saw the relieved looks.  "DiNozzo.  They called your team?"

"Yup.  They said a month."

"They told us a year," he said dryly.  He walked into the oval office, seeing the jittery general waiting.  He stared at him.  "Problems?"

He stared at him then smiled.  "Finally!"

"Do blame my mother for that since she bribed the current director of the ATF to keep us apart."  He looked at Xander, who was staring at him.  "Finish with Prime Minister Cole so we can chat?"

Xander smiled.  "Cole, I have to go.  Yes, that was Ezra.  No, he's finally back for a few days."  He grinned.  "Thanks, man.  Yeah, Monday.  Call if it's an emergency before then."  He hung up blindly, standing up.  "General, is it an emergency?"

"Three points, sir.  Afghanistan?"

"Get them home asap.  I'm tired of our blood going to defend people that don't always want it."  He stared at him.  "I'm all for peacekeeping but the populace doesn't want it.  They have a year and a half to get their asses in gear."

"Nominations for Joint Chief, sir?"

"Pick someone who's either blunt like I am or not an asshole and not an ass kisser."

"Third, sir, that program Sheppard and O'Neill kicked together."

"I want reports soon on how it's going so they can help me twitch anything that needs it.  Give it to Jon O'Neill."

"Yes, sir."  He saluted and smiled at Ezra before leaving.

Xander stared at him.  "She told me you didn't want to come back," he said quietly, staring into his eyes.

Ezra shook his head.  "That is not my feeling on the subject.  Not in the least."  He moved closer and kissed him.  "Come, we'll talk.  Where are the mutts?"

"On the bed."  He walked them up there, grimacing.  "The couch was toast after the fire.  It was so old it didn't have fire retardant foam."

"We can talk and rest at the same time."  They walked into the bedroom, stripping off their jackets and shoes so they could sit next to each other and he could cuddle his boy.  "I know they're being mean," he said quietly.

"Damn I hate this job, Ez," he said quietly.

"I understand perfectly well why.  I thought it was nice you told the Vatican to find reality."  His boy grinned at him.  He took a kiss and just held him for now.  When the valet came in he blushed and backed out.  "It's all right, George.  We're not doing anything beyond contemplating a dinner out."

"Yes, sir, should I tell the kitchen?"

Xander looked at him.  "A date?"

"Unless you'd rather we go out to eat tomorrow?" he asked with a smile.

"I'm comfortable and I don't want to move," Xander said, smiling shyly at him.

"Then we'll have dinner in tonight.  Ask them for something we can eat from here since there's no couch?"

"Of course, sir.  Should I take out the dogs?"

"Well?" Xander asked them.  They hopped up.  "Go use the bushes, kids."  They ran out to do that, one of the guards letting them out.  Then they came back in with muddy paws to climb back in with them.  "Is it raining?" he complained.

"They were watering the lawn when I came in," Ezra said.  George had slipped off and he was alone with his boyfriend.  This made up for the last two months.

***

Evan Lorne pulled back in and paused since his spot was filled.  He rolled down the window.  "Who parked in my spot?"

"Sir, I don't know who the uppity ass was but he said it was his first before heading inside.  They all seemed to know him and he called me uptight."

Evan considered it.  "Southern accent, dressed in Armani?"  The guard grimaced and nodded.  "That's a godsend.  Don't have his car towed."  He parked in a free spot and went up to Xander's apartment.  The guard gave him a dirty look.  "Ezra's finally back?"

"Yes, sir, they're cuddling and talking.  He hung up on the PM of England and told the general to come back Monday or bother Lieutenant O'Neill."

"Good!  Tell Ezra I told them not to tow his car.  I'll take anything too big today."  He walked off happier.  He had a report waiting on him about the showdown in the tea house and decided to have a chat with the head of the ATF.  "Sheila, get me the full regalia, I'm going visiting and I'm gonna kick some ass," he told her.  She called the car lot to get the limo for him and guards to go with him.  Gibbs smirked at him.  Evan handed over the report.

"Unfortunately I married women like her three times."

"Not exactly like her since she tends to be a wallet emptier and then disappears."  Gibbs grimaced.  "Ezra turned out a hell of a lot better than she did.  Gibbs, do me a favor and go run her out of DC and off this coast, and tell her to stay away from Denver?"

"Gladly."  He went to do that.  Evan went visiting.  He had some laws to lay down.  He did not want to see Xander that miserable ever the hell again!  Fortunately he wouldn't get a chance to meet Maude Standish and beat her to death.

***

AD Travis, out in Denver, walked into Chris' office.  "Where's Ezra?"

"Off."

"Why?"

Chris stared at him.  "Because I caught him drinking cocoa after his mother bribed our boss to keep him here."

Travis winced.  "That's not good."

"No, but I'm told that he only disowned her."

"Thankfully.  That would create a hell of a mess."

"Yes it will.  He had to tell Xander that as well."

"So they're... together?"

"From my spies there, they're cuddling and talking."  He smirked.  "Why?"

"The head office wanted me to raid the farm he has here."

"I think he'll be in for a rude awakening in about an hour then."  His phone rang.  "Yeah, Larabee."  He listened and smirked at his boss.  "That's good to know, Vin.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "The higher up who told you to do that, his boss just got arrested for taking bribes that were stolen from someone else."  Travis shuddered.  "It's going to be a mess."

"Thankfully I don't want to move up."

"Me either," Chris said.

"So are you going back to DC?"

"For the wedding.  I'm not sure about the guarding things."

"You were happy enough there and Nathan's girlfriend can get a job out there.  I know the others have been worried about him."

"Everyone's worried about him.  He lost weight and quit sleeping."

"Good point."  He smiled.  "If you do, I'll miss you for the next three to seven years, Larabee."

"I hope not.  By then I'll be ready to retire."  Travis walked out laughing.  Chris went to talk to the others.  "Vin said our second-in-command for the agency just got arrested for taking stolen property as bribes."  They all smirked and JD clapped.  "Also, Ez is in DC."

"Thank God," Josiah said.  "Now they can straighten each other out."

"From my sources, yeah."  He looked around.  "You know they'll ask."  They all sighed and nodded.  "Start making a choice now in case it goes for another seven years."  JD whimpered.  "It's possible."

"Not likely since Xander said he'd protest and campaign for someone else," JD offered.

"Then it'd be three years."  He shrugged.  "We'll talk tomorrow.  Finish up this damn case and arrest them."  They made plans for the arrests.  This surveillance thing was annoying.  It was well past time for arrests.

***

Fornell walked into the white house Monday morning.  "I'm told I was to appear today about a few agents that got arrested in Denver?"

"Agent Standish is waiting for you in the dining room in their suite, sir," Chuck said with a grin.  "He has the faxed information from his team."

"He's back?  Finally!"  He went up there, the guards nodding and letting him in.  "Are you going to feed my coffee habit?" he joked.  The president still looked too thin in what he was wearing.  You could almost see his ribs through the t-shirt.

"Of course.  Ezra only drinks gourmet coffee," Xander joked back with a grin.  Ezra handed over the notes and a cup, pointing at the pot.

Fornell filled his cup before sitting down.  He went over the information, wincing.  "Shit, that was a plot to take you out again."

"Incredibly so," Ezra agreed.  "We really must find more work for some agents."  He sipped his coffee.

"I thought they had plenty," Xander quipped back with a grin.  "I've been proven wrong a few times though."

Fornell looked at him.  "The good agents have way too much to do because of these slackers, sir."  He went back to reading.  "I always did."

"Do you want me to confirm you, Fornell?"

"Might as well," he sighed.

"I'm still taking nominations for who's going to take over the ATF boss's job."

"Perkins.  He's from the Miami office and is on the Mafia task force."

"He was on Vance's list too," he said, looking at Ezra.

"He is a royal pain in the ass, by the book sort that can hamper undercovers.  However he is not very hands on at the lower levels.  On that same task force is Abigail Divertia.  She is very good, has went undercover, has served in city offices, on task forces, and is presently avoiding being named to a higher position."

"Any relation to the ambassador?" Xander asked.

"Granddaughter.  That's why she's avoiding it.  She is technically an Assistant Director but she has never claimed her office or anything."

"She's a royal bitch but she'd do things like Larabee would," Fornell agreed.  "Any emergency and she'd use them as S&M toys."  Xander grinned at that.  "She has the position and the clout."

"I'll interview her then."  He smiled at Ezra.  "Can I have another sweet, flaky pastry thing you had the chef spoil us with?"  Ezra handed over one with a smile.  "Thank you, Ez."

"It's no problem."

"You could use the weight back anyway," Fornell quipped, giving the president a dirty look.

"So could I," Ezra admitted dryly.  "I almost had to shop myself into a new wardrobe."

"At least you won't have to find the pretty ballgowns like Buffy did," Xander quipped.  He ate a bite and moaned.  "I think I love you even more for having them spoil us, Ez."

Fornell cleared his throat.  "Let me handle this bunch of arrests.  I'll call Larabee in about an hour," he told Ezra, heading back down so they could talk some more.  It was nice to see the president in goofy lover mode instead of angry soldier mode.  He ran into Evan Lorne, shaking his head.  "Standish had the chef make pastries this morning.  They're moaning over the extra calories to gain back that ten pounds."

"Good!"  He smirked.  "I was going to get the dogs."

"They're outside, sir," one of the guards said.  "Have been for the last hour."  He pointed.

Evan rolled his eyes, going to let the muddy things in.  He took them up there.  "Xander, they need a bath.  They're doing fertilizer on the plants again."  He let go of the collars.  "Happy scrubbing."

"They like the shower."  He pointed.  "Shower time."  They ran that way with a bark and tongues hanging out.  Xander closed them in there after turning on the water and tossing in a chew toy to fight over.  They got to play for a half hour before Xander went to rescue them and dry them off.  "We need to shave you guys down again," he teased.

"Definitely," Ezra agreed, taking a towel to do the other dog. "We'll take them to the groomer later on then have dinner out?"

Xander beamed.  "I'd love that."  He let his dog go, letting it run off.  "Stay off the bed until you're dry."  The dog headed for his favorite reading chair instead, getting a head shake.  "Shoot, food on the table."  He went to put it up before they inhaled it on them.

***

Xander looked around the restaurant.  "We wanted to try this one."

"We did," Ezra agreed.  "I'm told it has excellent reviews."  He led him inside, making the host gasp.  "Problems?"

"We don't usually get couples like you here, sir."

"We can go somewhere else," Xander decided.  "Since we'd make you uncomfortable."

"I...  The chef is one who believed it was a crush and you'd get over it," he said quietly, glancing inside.  "I don't want to offend, sir, but he will not do the food justice for you."

"That's fine.  We know there are narrow minded individuals who cook," Ezra assured him, taking him to another place.  They wouldn't mention it on more than the gay friendly lists.  The other place Ezra wanted to try was friendly, in a lower class neighborhood, had excellent food, was rated well on the gay sites, and run by the fattest, blackest, motherly-figure drag queen ever.  That was perfect and they didn't care if Xander occasionally fed him a bite of his dinner.  They came out to press attention but only a single reporter.

"You're back?" she asked Ezra.

"For a visit.  Soon it will be for good."  He smiled, helping Xander into the car and walking around to drive.  "Did you doubt I'd be back?"

"Yes, sir.  We all thought you broke up."

He gave her a dirty look.  "No, that was the fault of some unscrupulous people who have become problematic for my life and happiness.  I'm afraid that one was found to have a problem with handing out bribes.  Thankfully they are no longer in my life."  He slid into the car and shut the door.  He drove them off with a little honk.

"Are you sure you want to cut her out that way?  I know she's your mom and there's usually some sort of bond there."

Ezra smiled at him.  "She will beg for forgiveness some year.  She tends to show up to plague me for a bit and then leave again rather quickly, though never fast enough."  He took his hand to hold.  "Quit worrying.  You'll fidget off that excellent dinner we had."  Xander nodded, leaning over to put his head on his boy's shoulder.  "That's nice."

"We need boyfriend stuff," he said quietly.

"I believe I can procure that," he agreed dryly.  A quick stop at the pharmacy and he was back in the car, bringing his boyfriend home.

"Sir.... is he spending the night in one of the guest bedrooms?" the on-duty receptionist/guard said.

"No, I have a place for him to stay," Xander said dryly.  "Thank you for asking."

"Sir, the head guard wanted to talk to you about such things."

"I'll see him tomorrow."

"I believe he wanted to see you tonight."

Xander stared at him.  "I do not give a damn unless it's an emergency," he said bluntly.  "Anything else?"  He shook his head, looking down.  "Then have a pleasant night." he walked Ezra off, shaking his head.

"They are entitled to their opinion," Ezra reminded him.  "Even if it differs with yours."  He was sure the young man had heard him and was probably embarrassed since others had heard him as well.

"Yeah but it doesn't mean I have to put up with it in my face," Xander said dryly.

"True.  It's best to leave them to their little minded pursuits while we pursue our own goals for the evening."

Xander grinned.  "You have some of the best ideas, Ez."

"Of course I do."  He winked.  They ran into the head guard, who was scowling.  "Problems?"

"Sir, this is the White House," he said bluntly.  "Such behavior....."

Xander held up a hand.  "Get out of my face, you fucking bigot, and out of my white house."  The man gave him a horrified look.  "You do not talk that way to my fiancee and you will not talk to me that way again.  Am I fucking well clear?"

"Yes, sir," he mumbled, looking down.  "I'll...go to the comm office to watch things."

"Thank you and have a good life!"  He walked off.  "Ez, I need a back rub.  I was in a great mood before."

Ezra smiled.  "Of course.  Fiancee?"

"Well, yeah.  I was going to propose later," Xander offered with a shy smile.  He kissed him.  "Please?" he whispered.

Ezra stared at him then smiled and nodded.  "As long as my ring befits my style and I get to pick out the wedding attire.  That way you're in something I wish to watch you walk toward me in."

Xander grinned.  "Of course you're doing all the clothes, Ezra.  I'd have us in jeans and t-shirts on a beach."

"No, I dare say we can do better than that since everyone will be expecting something."

"A quiet ceremony and then a lavish party?" Xander offered.

"That may work," he decided.  "We'll talk about that after breakfast."  He smirked and Xander squealed, hugging him.  Xander dragged him upstairs and pulled a box out of his bedside table, glancing inside.

"Did you have more than one?"

"Yeah, my cufflinks are in there," Xander admitted.  He went on one knee, holding up the box.  "Mine?"

Ezra smiled.  "I already said yes."

"I had to do the formal things."

"I know."  He sat down to open the box, gasping at it.  "Xander, this is much too much."

"It's supposed to be two months' salary," he quipped.  He pulled out the square cut diamond on the platinum band.  It had slightly smaller oval cut rubies on either side of it. It shone with a set of good facets so it looked like the stone pulled in the light and turned into a rainbow almost once it was settled into the stone.

Ezra put it on, admiring it on his hand.  It was the perfect size.  "Where on earth did you find it?  I've never seen anything like it."

"Harry Winston."  He sat beside him.  "I found an emerald ring with two flower looking diamonds on each side and thought of your ruby ring.  I showed them a picture of it and asked them to find me something to complement it."  He grinned.  "It's a classic emerald Winston cut diamond, three-point-one carats."  Ezra moaned.  "It's got nearly perfect clarity and only one small inclusion."  He smiled.

"That was almost the full two month's salary," Xander admitted sheepishly.  Ezra gave him a hug.  "I went with the two oval cut rubies to make it look like it's tapering off as your finger bends."  He put his head on Ezra's shoulder.  "Harry Winston was very proud of that and I'm very happy with them.  They got it done in three weeks.  I was going to sneak out next weekend and propose when I woke you up."

"Is that why you went to see my mother?"

"Yup, so I could have help being sneaky."  He gave him a shy smile.  "You like it?"

"I adore it, Xander."  He took a deep kiss and pulled out his phone to send the picture to Vin's phone.  "There will be some celebrating in Denver tonight."  He turned to take a proper kiss, laying Xander down so he could reward his boy for such an awesome gift.

***

Vin looked at his phone, frowning.  "Why is Ezra sending me pictures of girlish rings?" he complained.

Chris snatched it and smiled.  "The kid did a good job."  Vin's mouth flopped open.  Chris handed the phone back with a smile.  "It'll go well with the one he always wears.  Fits his hand shape well too."

Vin swallowed his drool and shut his mouth.  "So we've got to find wedding presents?"

"Yup."

"Huh.  What do you get those two?"

"Shopping gift certificates to Armani?" JD quipped.  He was still working on his ropes.  Fortunately they had put them in the back of the van together without a guard and hadn't searched them very well.  "Xander's ex is crap at kidnaping.  No wonder he didn't keep her."

The others burst out laughing and Buck got JD free.  "We can brag about the ring."  He took Vin's phone to look at it, whistling.  "That's definitely expensive."

"The diamond people say an engagement ring should be two months salary," Nathan sighed.  He took it to look at.  "That probably was really expensive.  How many carats do you think that diamond is?"

Josiah looked.  "Maybe three?  The rubies being about two each?"  They all nodded and Vin took his phone to put back in his pocket since the van was slowing down.  They'd have to show Xander's ex the picture of Ezra's ring.

When the van finally stopped, the back door was open.  A woman walked over to them sneering.  "Where is the other one?  He's the one I want to talk to since he *dared* to dump my pookie!"

Vin pulled out his phone with a sigh and held it up.  "He sent me this one earlier."

She snatched it and sniffled.  "That's perfect!"  She handed it back with a pout.  "So he's off the market?"  They all smirked and nodded.  "Shoot.  What do you buy a boy like Xander beyond artillery and gun cleaning kits?"

"Ezra likes fancy things, gourmet coffee, and Armani," JD said.  "You can shop while you're on bail."

She waved a hand.  "I have diplomatic immunity."  She smirked.  "My father is the Ambassador from Albania."

"You're still going in," Chris assured her, coming out to arrest the idiots.  Clearly Xander had done something bad to their brains.  He'd have to make sure Ezra's mind wasn't so ruined.  What sort of scary arms dealer takes you hostage to complain that you dumped her ex?

***

Xander gave Ezra a kiss.  "Be safe," he whispered.

"I will be.  You as well.  Let them guard you," he ordered.  He walked off smiling and happy.  That had been in full view of the press corps.

Xander walked in.  "I'm told my press secretary is sniffling in his office so what did we need questioned today?"

"Are you back together?" one asked with a smile.

"We never broke up.  There was an unfortunate asshole higher up who wanted us apart and made his team have a really bad case."

"Sir, I saw his hand.  He was wearing two rings instead of one."

"Yes he was," Xander agreed happily.

"Is that because you gave him one?"

"No comment.  Wait like everyone else to find out if there's going to be a huge, extravagant, gay wedding."  She pouted.  "Tough."  He smirked.  He pointed at another.  "A question about real news?"

"Would you two consider adopting children?"

"I have no idea how he feels about kids.  I may or may not mind.  I did adopt a bunch of the slayers as my sisters.  We'll talk about that some day."  He pointed at another.  "Yes?  Real news?"

"Sir, the Pentagon said that you're updating the programs that President Sheppard had started?"

"Well, the trial run is completed.  We're looking to see how they did, see what needs tweaked or forgotten about.  We're going over that later this week."

"Sir, did you really hang up on the Prime Minister of England?" another asked.

"Um, I was kinda shocked and he said he'd call me today."  He shrugged.  "It wasn't anything critical that couldn't wait a weekend and Evan might've already figured out what was going on.  I had a thumping headache at that point."

"Did he cure it, sir?" one quipped.

Xander smirked.  "Yes, he helped me bathe the dogs too," he shot back dryly, making her cackle.

"Sir, are you going to make a speech soon about the diplomatic ties that seem to be wary of your relationship?" one asked.

He stared at her.  "Are you from Fox News?"  She nodded slowly.  "Figures.  Did you not hear the last one?"  The other press people snickered.  "I'm a very blunt, take me as I am because I'm not changing, person.  It took me a while to realize I was worthy of the love and happiness he gave me because I had sacrificed most of my adult life to one apocalypse after another.  Personally, I don't care what *anyone* thinks about my relationship.  As human beings, we should be beyond the point where we give a damn what someone's doing in bed unless it's a dog or a kid."

"Oh," she said flatly.  "Then are you planning on some sort of joining ceremony?"

"Probably.  It is legal here in DC.  The Chief of Staff used to love parties from what he told us earlier."  He smiled.  "If so, we'll probably not invite any press people.  I'd want some things to be private, even from E! News."  That got a few more laughs.  "Anything else?" he asked her.

"Sir, the reports that you were depressed, were they right?" she asked.

"I was upset a bit but I don't think I was fully depressed.  All the stress was leading to me not being able to sleep very well, which was screwing with my other body systems.  That caused the weight loss and all that other stuff you guys tried to make news out of for weeks on end."

"Sir, would you have less stress if you weren't in a homosexual relationship since not all other countries would accept that?" the Fox News person asked in a chipper voice.

"No.  I'd have less stress if stupid things didn't happen, like having seventeen agents arrested in Denver last Friday."  She gaped.  He stared at her.  "I do keep up with all those things plus I have to appoint a new agency head, possibly two, and three judges soon.  I'm interviewing, reading their past decisions, learning more about them, and all that at the same time as dealing with the idea that the war we're presently in is still ongoing, the usual stresses from Congress, and a few other things."

"Sir, what do you think about the war?" another one, usually an entertainment reporter, asked.

He considered it for a second.  "I think it's been going on a long time.  I think that I would like to see them start taking some responsibility because I don't want to spill any more blood from any more soldiers for a people that, frankly, don't always want the help.  I understand why we got into the war.  I think it's important that we win or at least stop that particular group for good.  I think that the people there should be working towards going 'no, we have it now' instead of us doing the majority.

"I have been talking with the generals about realistic options to have them back on their feet and starting toward progress, and not a civil war, so we can get our boys and girls home.  I hate every single death we have overseas.  Even if it's helping I hate that we're losing good people to this fight.  I want them to live, have kids, do great things.  Be the next generation of generals who annoy any kids I might adopt," he finished dryly.  "But I'm taking realistic advice from the people on the ground."

"So you're going to be announcing a scheduled pull out?"

"I think we're going to be announcing a scheduled cut back first and then slowly handing things over.  Though there's still concerns I have about the populace and things reverting or causing problems.  Personally, I hate like hell the way the Taliban treated women.  I'd like to shoot some of them over it considering I had to rescue one of the slayers from there when she managed to escape to Pakistan.  But that's not my job and the soldiers can only do so much.  I think we'll win but it's not for us to be there permanently."

"So you're definitely going to cut back," the reporter said.

Xander nodded.  "Yes.  When I can.  I want them home and so do their families.  Don't you?"

"I'd rather see them accomplish their goal."

He snorted, smirking at her.  "Groups like that, they're always going to have another member.  The more we barge in and take away what they thought they knew was the right way, the more militant the younger generation becomes.  The ones who grew up that way and are right now teenagers, so over-reactive and hyper to be on the right side and to do the right thing."  She gaped.

"Like the gangs from Central and South America that formed out of all the civil wars and guerilla actions; there's always another member who's been pissed off, feels pissed on, and who is downright angry enough to join.  Even if we wipe out this whole generation, another will be coming.  We have to learn to adjust our tactics of fighting them from an all out war to ways of getting them out of there without making more people want to join.  We're working on it.  We have some of the best minds ever working on it."

"Couldn't we use that thing that zapped you to that Ancient city for that battle to get them?" another one asked.

"We have to have a location on them.  Some way of telling them from a rock or a tree.  Or so I'm told.  I can ask Dr. McKay that later.  I'm not against it if that's the best way to do it."

"So you're in favor of more covert methods?"

"I'm more in favor of ways that doesn't spill as much blood and doesn't destroy as many lives.  Anyplace there's a war, people start to go hungry, lives are destroyed, things happen that make people hate both sides.  I've seen plenty of wars where both sides were equally evil.  I've helped defend towns and villages from those sort of things.  I'd rather we use methods that cause the least amount of harm to the locals while still getting the job done.  Why do we need another enemy?"

"I guess I can see that point."

"I'm hoping we can work on methods of using it to quicken this present war into being over with."

"To lighten the mood some, what about jobs?" another asked.  "Are you working on a job creation plan?"

"No one's said anything to me about jobs outside of the news.  I've asked a few times but my economics panel said it's fine.  I've been thinking about that being a problem and the cost of food but I'm going to ask some others to see if we need to step in and create some help around there.  Because like I said, the minds that study that stuff and tell me said there's not a huge problem yet."

"So you've been wondering but no one's said anything," that reporter said.

"Yeah, basically."

"Alternative energy?"

"I think McKay and his sort are working on that," he quipped.  "I'm hoping it's safe, effective, not expensive, and it's good for the environment."

"How do you feel about coal?" another asked.

"I know it's important.  I also know that mining it is dangerous, messy, and creates environmental issues.  I'd rather we use a method that isn't finite.  Because even if we have some pressing from the middle ages, it'll be centuries before it's turned into coal from graphite from what I remember from geology.  I'm not anti-coal but I'd rather it be a lesser used resource so we don't have to worry about running out.  Like oil.  I feel the same way.

"We need to find another way.  There's people working on it who have the education and the experience to tell me when I'm being stupid about it and what we can and can't do.  I'm waiting for them to tell me that when I have an energy conference in July.  We've just started to plan it."  They all smiled.  "I'm thinking August will have an education one."

"We heard you wanted a national level of standards?" the entertainment reporter asked.

"As I found out later, the stuff they tested in Sunnydale's graduation exam was what other schools test for in the eighth grade to get into high school."  A few moaned.  "I'd like to see us find a single test so we can legitimately compare from one state to the next.  That way we're comparing to the same things.  I was thinking most of them have a standardized test, but it's not the same test.  I was hoping we could work out a way to make it the same test since the kids have to take it anyway."

"So not really a national set of standards but a national test," she said.

"Yeah.  Like having everyone take the SAT.  That way we can compare kids based on the same things, the same questions."

"I guess that's reasonable."

"Then again, I was the victim of a poor education and didn't really do all too well sometimes, so I'm going to let the smarter education people tell me if I'm stupid or not," Xander said dryly.  "Though I have been told that all the countries who do *really* well in the international rankings, they all have set national standards.  Everyone's teaching to the same test.  So we'll see.  Probably in August sometime."

"You do rely heavily on advisors," the Fox News person noted.

"I'm smart enough to know I don't know everything, my ego has never been big enough to even consider that I'm omnipotent, and any smart being would seek out advice from smarter people.  That's why you ask your doctor what you should do when you see them."  That got a few snickers from the crowd.  "I'll let the people who do things their whole lives tell me about what they do.  They know more than I do, even if I did it for a few years.  Then I'll make a decision based on what made the most sense to me and which way would seem to work best for the majority of the people."

"How many advisors do you have?" she asked.

"Well, the Pentagon wanted me to have a military advisor who could liaison with them when necessary.  He knows how I was trained, he knows how they were trained, so he's a translator."  She smirked at that.  "I have two economic ones, one judicial one that I can ask stupid questions to about any upcoming laws and what the language in it means to current law if I don't understand.  I have two education people who nag me about my speech patterns.  A lot."  He smirked.  "They're actually with the Teacher's Association and have been helping me think about how to do that testing thing."

"So not really that many."  He shook his head.  "Who is your doctor?  We noticed you don't go to Walter Reed or Bethesda."

"I go see my liver doctor a few times a year to make sure that the damage I took from that one apocalypse, the one where you guys voted me into the VP-ship from my hospital bed, isn't causing me any problems.  It's basically a maintenance visit.  I see a doctor from the SGC because she thinks I have fascinating problems."  He smirked.  "She didn't like my doc at Bethesda who told me to quit exercising."

"Is that a perk?"

"Actually, John sicced her on me," Xander said dryly.  "Over the liver thing and the other damage I took over the years."

"Is that about the taint that you got exposed to?" the entertainment reporter asked.

"She does find it fascinating and annoying.  She's the one who helped me the last time it decided to come back.  Then again, I also got exposed to a few long dead diseases in Sunnydale plus anything I picked up in Africa...."  They all groaned.  He smirked.  "She had a crush on my blood I think.  She used *huge* needles and sucks off a lot every time she takes some."  That got a mass laugh.  "Anything else?"  They all shook their heads.  "Then have a good day.  Let me call England."  He walked off happier.

Chuck looked up as Xander walked up to him.  "Doctor Lam heard, sir, and she said she does have a crush on your blood but she never tested you for anything else."

"She might," he said dryly.  "Was that live?"

"No, sir, she's in your office."

"Cool.  England?"

"He said he'd call back about two when he called at six am.  He realized the time difference then and said you were probably snoring on your dogs."

"Actually, I tend to hide under the blankets and snore into Ezra's bellybutton.  He said I drool too."  Chuck blushed but he grinned.  "Relax, Chuck.  I'm the same Xander I was before."

"I know, sir, but that's still leading to nasty thoughts."

"Imagine Russian female shotputters?"

"That cured it," Chuck agreed happily.

Xander grinned.  "Does for me too usually."  He walked in.  "Hi, Doc from the land of big needles."  He rolled up his sleeve.

"What did you get exposed to?"

"Smallpox.  A dead strain of syphilis.  That one I made sure I don't test positive for it."

She gave him an odd look.  "In Africa?"

"Um...."  He thought back.  "A swamp demon bit me and gave me a really nasty fever.  Um..."  He shrugged.  "Two of the cuts on my back infected and the traveling Docs Without Borders people thought it was something deadly."

She stared at him.  "How did you get the first two?"

"Ghosts.  Native spirits actually on Thanksgiving.  We accidentally broke into a burial chamber."

She shook her head quickly.  "You're right, I'm going to suck off a good deal to make sure you can't infect anyone else."

"I thought you already knew."

"No!"  She drew blood from him and put it into her bag then took out the scanner, programming it for that use as well.  What she saw did not amuse her.  She looked at him then showed him the results.  "That's a poisonous venom."

Xander shrugged.  "Was that the clawing or the biting?"

"Clawing probably.  It doesn't bite."

"Huh.  Okay."  He shrugged.  "How would I know?  I'm not a doctor."

"You are to report for a full body scan in the next week, Xander."

"Yes, Doc."

"Thank you."  She called for the beam out, going to talk Keller into helping her figure out what was going on.  And to get some notes from Willow about how *ghosts* had given dead diseases.  Keller stomped off to interrogate her because not even O'Neill could do something like that!

Wedding Bells.

John Sheppard looked at the headlines of the local paper. 'YES THERE WILL BE A GAY WEDDING AT THE WHITE HOUSE!'  "Wow, could they have used a smaller font type," he complained, waking his dog up.  He showed it to the dog, who huffed and went back to sleep.  He earned a pet with that.  "I agree.  We'll have to give Xander back to the old Chief of Staff since he liked parties so much."

He turned the page, hoping for news other than Xander's relationship.  Pity he didn't get any but there was always hope.  "Damn, there's nothing happening in the world but him."  He shook his head, having Atlantis beam the paper beside Willow.  She'd fume, Rodney would calm her down, they'd have sex, then Rodney would be happier for their later meeting.  It worked well for him.

Blackhawk looked up at the sound of him eating, putting out a small whimper.  "Oh, you so mooch," he complained, but dropped a piece of sausage.  Xander's dogs had taught him how to give in to begging.  Fortunately his dog did it rarely or he'd have to invest in obedience training, which would bring him out of hiding and make the press stalk him again.  Which he hated.  So Blackhawk could beg for now.

***

Buffy watched the news.  "Wow, even the bigot channel has the big gay wedding on it."

Jack snickered from beside her.  "Of course.  It gives them something to complain about."  He took a kiss.  "Turn that crap off before it rots my mind please?"

"Give me something else to do instead?" she hinted with a grin.

"You clearly took the same lessons in back breaking that you sister did," he said dryly, but he complied.  His wife was amazing.  He could give in to her wanton desires.  Again.  She giggled and it was worth it.

***

Xander walked out of the white house on his way to the cars.  He had to be fitted for another new suit, which he hated.  Ezra wasn't even here to make him look hot.  So this shopping trip sucked.  He made it almost to the car before the reporters outside the white house started to shout questions.

"Sir!  Are you going to pick out the wedding outfits soon!"

"Are you getting a new tux for the wedding!"

"Sir, what about the report that Congress is being lazy!" another yelled.

Xander looked at them.  "Calm down and breathe, people, before you pass out.  It's too cold and your drool will stick to the cement."  They pouted.  "No, nothing on the wedding.  I have to get a suit for the dinner that's coming up."  He slid into the car and closed the door.  Tony got in to drive him.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Can we run some over?"

"No.  Sorry.  Not even the Fox News people."

"Damn.  Though I think it was nice that E! News went to talk to a few of my former lovers to get the scoop on how I was in bed.  I've gotten wedding presents from a few of them."

"From jail?" Tony asked dryly.

"Yeah.  One had her minion order us really expensive cheese and stuff."  Tony groaned, shaking his head.  He backed the car down to the turn around, used it, then drove off through the gates.  "Where did Ezra say I have to shop?"

"His store."

"They always get my pants too tight."

"That may be Ezra's idea," Tony said dryly.

"Maybe."  Xander shrugged.  "I'm happy as long as I'm comfy.  Not like I'm meant to be a style icon."

"Too true, Xander.  You're one of the least fashionable gay men I've ever met."  Xander snickered, shaking his head.  "Are you going to feed the parasites anything on the wedding?"

"We haven't made any decisions yet."

"Ah.  So no planning anything?"

"No.  Ezra is, of course, in charge of the clothes and color scheme.  I think I'm in charge of the guest list for my side, the invitations, and the site."

"Could be."  He changed streets.  Xander's headache looking face stopped.  "Almost had a vision?"

"Yeah, felt like it."  He looked around and a field looked really bright to him.  "Go back."  He pointed.  "There.  I don't know why but go there."  They got out of the car and walked across the grass.  "This is where I found the dogs," he realized, looking around.  He kept looking until he nearly walked over something.  "Um, Tony, landmine."  Tony called that in and explosives teams pulled up. Xander pointed.  "There."  They found it and disarmed it before removing it.

"I don't know why but I felt I had to come here, guys."  They nodded and did a metal detector search over the rest of the area.  So they were still there when the heavy canvas bag fell from the sky.  Xander looked up at the helicopter.  "Did someone rob a bank?"  The team all nodded.  Tony called that in, since DC was a no fly zone, and got someone to shoot the idiots down if they didn't land.  Xander looked at the bag, then at them.  They all shook their heads and put it into the truck.  "Thanks, guys."  He ran back to the car and dove inside because he had seen a news van.

Tony strolled over, getting back in to drive.  "They didn't catch you on camera."

"I don't want to be known for those things."

"I can understand that.  I wouldn't either."  He pulled back into traffic, heading for the clothing shop.  It was a wild ride being on Xander's guard detail sometimes.

***

Xander walked into the store and his fitters all pouted.  "What?"

"You're late," one said.

"I found a landmine.  Sorry."

"That's all right.  The special fitter is in today.  He's waiting on you."

"Will he not make the seat too tight?"

"No, he won't make it any tighter than you want."  The clerk smiled and showed him back there.  He handed Tony a magazine.  "Here, it might be a while.  He's a bit...fussy."

"Now and then," Tony agreed.

Xander walked into the fitting area and paused.  "How much did you bribe them?"

"Quite a lot.  You seem to favor this designer yet you always thought them frivolous."

"Ezra likes them.  He likes how they look on both of us.  Therefore I wear what he likes."

The older man looked at his hand.  "No ring?"

"I proposed to him and bought him something massive yet tasteful.  How did you manage to get into DC without anyone knowing?"

"It was not that hard.  We all have our ways."  He stood up, looking him over.  "You look good."

"I've started to jog on the treadmill to wear me out the nights I don't have anyone to drool on."

"Hmm."  He pulled him closer suddenly to kiss him.  Xander hit his emergency stone, waving for help to get free of him.

Vin looked then pulled the guy off him.  "Who the hell are you?" he demanded dryly.

"I believe you'll find that is the ex boyfriend who sent me the sizeable check for the wedding's cost," Ezra said dryly, staring at him.  "Xander?"  He came over, kissing him.  "Hmm.  Chinese for lunch?"

"Yup."  He grinned, resting his head on Ezra's shoulder.  "See, I don't need to go backwards through my black book.  I have more than enough right here."

His ex smirked.  "He does look quite fit and manly, though he talks like one of you."

Xander smirked.  "I can kick your ass."

"Dear, you have not been able to do that yet."

Xander snorted then attacked, kicking him backward.  The older man laughed but Xander was nearly kicking his butt when Chris tackled him and handcuffed him.  "You don't touch the president," he said bluntly.  "Or anything that's Ezra's.   He shoots you for that."  He hauled him up.  "Xander, who is he?"

"Um, Sonat Dobrehev."

"The damn Russian General who was selling nukes?" Chris demanded, glaring at him.

"Yeah, he's the one I got that sub-nuclear thing from that I had to use on that demon that time."  He looked at Ezra.  "He wanted to make sure I was happy I think."

"I believe you are.  Do you doubt?" Ezra asked casually.

Xander blushed.  "No.  Just that you're insane to want me."

Ezra smirked.  "Love is a known cause of insanity."  He took a kiss.

"I've got cavities," Buck complained.  Xander kicked him, making him yelp and hop around holding his leg, even though they hadn't stopped kissing.

"Ez, he doesn't have his appendix anymore," Chris complained.  "Quit using your tongue to check for it."  He glared at him.  "See what happens when you make Ezra jealous?"  The man sighed, nodding.  "Now, wish them a happy marriage."

"Of course I do.  He can also keep that check, though I was not the one who sent that."  He winked.  "You have a gift card waiting."

Xander huffed.  "Suit shopping, he was waiting on me in the fitting area," Xander complained.  He took one last kiss then went back to where he had been, startling the clerk.  "My ex?  Really?"

"He paid very well to come see you for a few private moments, sir.  How did you do that?"

"One of the witches at the Council made it for emergency leave-taking.  I handed my ex to my fiancee.  He was most amused."

"Pity."  He came in to fit him and make sure the new suits looked hot enough to stand up to Standish's picky vision for his boy's clothes.   He was more picky than most starlettes over their gowns for some award they didn't deserve.

Tony leaned in a few minutes later.  "What happened?" he asked with an evil smirk.

"My ex bribed them to see me privately for a few minutes.  When he tried to keep me by inhaling my lungs, I used my emergency transport stone to let Ez have him."

"Ah.  How many others might want to check up on your happiness?"

Xander shrugged.  "Who's already checked in?  And don't discount some of the higher demons.  They respect me more than a lot of the slayers do for how I've helped and how fair we are."

"Sure," he decided.  "Do you maybe have a list of ex's?"

"Ask Chris?"

"I can do that."  He sat down in there to call him.  "Larabee, DiNozzo.  Can we make a list of ex's who might still be checking in?  He was *who*?"  He growled.  "How did he get into the US, much less DC?"

"I asked, he said they had their methods.  Which probably means the airstrip in Alexandria that's privately owned or a cargo ship."

Tony looked at him.  "How do you know that?"

"How do you think I got the slayers out of places when they didn't have papers?  Or things for the arsenals to where they needed to go?  You can't always find a handy demon who'll hand it over reliably for you."  He shot him a smirk.  "There's ways."

Tony listened to Chris tell him what they knew about those.  "I think we need to get a list of those and have a conference, yeah.  Thanks.  You are?  Decent.  I'll tell Gibbs.  Thanks, Larabee.  Easy and safe days, man."  He hung up.  "We're all going to be talking about your ex's."

"You might tell Gibbs that redhead that tried to keep him and Evan the other day was one.  She was a pretty nice assassin.  Only took out dictators and human rights violators that the UN protested against."

Tony texted that to Gibbs' phone.  He couldn't text back but he could read it and Evan would get it too since Gibbs was with him in the Senate today.  He sighed at the message Evan sent back.  "The VP said it figured with the way she wanted him and cooed over Gibbs at the same time.  She had to be evil or a slut."

"Well, she was a bit kinky," Xander offered.  "But pretty monogamous."

"Does Ezra know about them?"

"Yeah, he asked."  He grinned.  "I told him all about all of my ex's whenever he wanted in case we ran into one.  I'm very realistic about the type of women that liked me, Tony."

"Good.  Thank you."  He texted that to Larabee so he could pump Ezra for information.  This was going to be insane until they were married.

The clerk coughed.  "How long before you decide what you're doing for the wedding?" he asked quietly.

Xander shrugged then winced at the tightness across his shoulders.  The clerk made marks to have that fixed for him.  "That's up to Ezra.  My idea was a quiet wedding and then a really loud party."

"I'll send him an email then, see if he has any plans so we can help him work on them."  Xander looked at him.  "We are his favorite designers."  He smiled.

"You are," Xander agreed.  "Even if you do try to put me in things that're too tight in the pants."  He made marks to fix that as well.  "Add an extra inch?  I'm building muscles in my thighs for some reason."  The clerk got him a bigger pair of pants and fit those to him.  That was easier.  The jacket ended up needing some major fitting so they'd have to come back in a few weeks.  Xander paid and they left, getting dinner at some random fast food place.

***

Evan looked at Gibbs when his phone rang, taking it when all the text message got was an odd look.  He read it and responded then handed it back.  "I want in on the conference you and Larabee will have about them.  Just in case some of the others want to try for him again through me," he said quietly.  "It was bad enough when the bad girls in Pegasus used to capture us to make John come rescue us so they could have him and Ronon."

"Do we think any will want to come to the wedding?"

"Yeah.  Probably.  One kidnaped Larabee's team to pout at them for Xander and Ezra not being together at the time."

Gibbs shook his head.  "At least I never dated that badly."

"I usually pout because I never get any of the skanky bad girls."

"Feel lucky.  They hit you on the head with golf clubs and things," Gibbs quipped.

"I am.   My next one might shoot me."  He looked at the staring majority leader.  "Sorry, one of Xander's ex's just showed up to make sure he was happy with his boyfriend."

She nodded.  "Why is that important?"

"He's a former arms dealer who dealt in nuclear and sub-nuclear weapons," Gibbs said.  "Including a stolen Russian sub once."

She shuddered.  "I'm starting to like them being together more and more."  She got back to the present discussion.  That was too mind warping to consider.  Especially while the senate was in session.

***

Chris and Ezra stepped off the plane, Chris watching over him.  He nodded at the guards there to pick them up.  "Thanks, guys."

"What happened?" the lead Secret Service agent asked.  They had worked with him before.

"Two of Ezra's ex's decided to get with a few of Xander's and they decided to form a support group.  They destroyed six buildings in Denver so they could rob their safes to buy a really nice wedding present."  The lead agent whimpered, shaking his head.  "Then they decided to take Ezra hostage with Vin to talk about their plans for the wedding.  Nathan even had an 'oh hell no' moment over this one."

"It was quite amusing to watch him throw a girlish fit," Ezra admitted quietly.

"At least they're out of harm's way now," the other agent said.

Chris glared at him.  "Two have sent massive presents to the ATF office while in jail for their wedding."

"Oh.  Never mind then, sir."  He walked them to the baggage claim and then to the car.  Ezra had a few bags.  "Are you staying for a while, Agent Standish?"

"Yes I believe I'm being assigned here permanently," he said with a smirk.

"The rest of us will be here in a few weeks," Chris assured them.  "Our director thought it'd be safer if we all guarded the happy couple."  Ezra gave him a mean looking smirk.  He smirked back.  "JD's going to interrupt anything you do for *weeks* for them taking down his favorite comic shop."

"It was not my idea nor my intention," Ezra pointed out patiently.  "Besides, they stole everything inside to give to Xander because they know he likes comics."

"We saw," Chris assured him.  They got him into the car and the two Secret Service agents got in to drive.  "How is he today?"

"Hiding, sir.  The dogs are sick and at the vet's so he's moping.   Apparently they shared an old, stringy squirrel from the yard and it didn't agree with their systems."

"Sick?" Ezra asked.

"No.  We found the remains and they made sure it wasn't rabid or anything.  Just old, stringy, and greasy-skinned."  That got a nod.  "The sort that Blackhawk used to bark at all the time."

"I remember them," Chris agreed.  "I never understood why the Park Service people got them with those greasy things."

"Flea medicine," the second agent said.

"That makes more sense then."  He relaxed, looking at Ezra.   "Your condo?"

"I still own it," he assured him happily.  "I'll rent out my one in Denver for right now.  That will also give us a place outside the White House to run away to when things get on our nerves."

"That works," Chris agreed.  "Plus it'll calm some huffy people down."

"Hopefully."  They pulled onto Pennsylvania Avenue and he looked at the White House.  "Is that smoke?"

"There's a White House barbeque today, sir," the second agent said.  "It's in the garden."

"I was hoping it wasn't another lamp."  They pulled in and parked.  Chris got out and Gibbs sighed in relief.  He got out and smiled.   "Let me put my things upstairs."

"Of course," Gibbs agreed.  "DiNozzo, help him."

"On it, boss."  He came to get two of the five bags.  "Thank God, he's been moping all day," he said once they were in the private elevator.

Ezra smiled.  "His dogs being sick would make him pout."  He put things down, nodding at George.  "Don't unpack.  I'll mostly be at my condo."

"Very well, sir.  A suit for dinner?  The president said you'd be going out tonight?"

"Then unpack my black and gray one please."  George the valet nodded and did that.  He and Tony went down to the grilling.  There was indeed a huge cloud of smoke.  Chris was working on the coals since Xander couldn't cook on a grill even if he could do it on an open pit.  Which he was but some people wanted grilled things.  He got a bottle of water and walked over to help Xander turn the spit full of meat.  "Beef?"

Xander grinned and took a quick kiss.  "Beef.  We had some chickens earlier but they got snatched already."  He pointed.  "We have a pig too."

"I can see that."  He made him turn that duty over to one of the cooking school students that were in helping the White House kitchen today.  They could easily wear out their arms.  Xander got his bottle of soda and they sat down in a quiet, out of the way, spot to let Xander grin at him and rest against his side.  "Are the furry children fine?"

"Yup, just have the runs.  They'll have to stay overnight."  He sipped his soda, shifting a bit closer.  "I planned for us to have dinner out tonight so we can try somewhere new."

"I've already had George take out my suit."  He smiled.  "Is it good?"

"It's supposed to be very good and one of the ambassadors suggested it."

"Hmm.  We'll see."

"He said they catered his daughter's reception."

"Ah.  A reason behind it."  Xander smiled and nodded.  "Then we can definitely consider that.  Are we making plans?"

"I have my guest list made out and figured we'd have about a hundred fifty?  A small, private gathering?"

"I would adore that.  Then a lavish reception?"

"Or a party the next night for everyone who wasn't there.  That way the politicians won't feel left out."

"Either might be doable."  He took his hand to kiss the back of.  "Relax.  I'm back and things will go back to normal again."

"The generals are pushing me to make some decisions that seem pretty wrong," he said quietly.  "Jon's unable to take calls on his city.  So is John.  So is Jack at the outpost."

"We'll talk about that before dinner."  Xander smiled and nodded.  "We should reappear before people start to wonder."

"Two of the Secret Service guys have already glanced in on us to make sure we're not doing something naughty."

Ezra took another kiss.  "That will be later," he assured him.  Xander grinned back and they got up, taking their drinks back to the main area.  The guards relaxed again and Xander got back to his cooking pit.  The student didn't do a bad job on the spit either. Xander cut off some of the done meat and let that go so the rest could cook faster.  The grill was finally not smoking excessively so it was better.  The people were happier.

It was almost a snark free weekend outside of two female agents who complained that they'd do better for the president's bed than Ezra would.  Xander found out subtly who they were and told Chris that they wanted to know why they couldn't be ex's.  Chris gave him a scary smirk and talked to Gibbs, which got them assigned to the small task force that would find all of Xander's ex's, and Ezra's former dates as well, to make sure none of them were going to cause problems for the wedding.  Because everyone was worried about what assassins and arms dealers would do to the wedding ceremony if they tried to help.

***

Chris sat down across from Gibbs at the table.  They were at the farm.  Chris had already mailed payment to John for the rent.  The horses were back and in the paddock getting reacquainted with their herdmates, who were more than happy not to be alone.  The others on the teams were with them.  There was beer, crabs, and french fries for JD.  The two new agents were included since they were going over the dossiers.  JD and Tony would brief Evan in the morning.  Ezra had given his list and what he knew about them.  Xander had willingly handed over his old journals so they could browse for names.  JD had spent all afternoon looking them up.  Chris cracked his first crab leg and nodded.  "Go ahead and start, JD."

"Sure, Chris."  He turned on the tv he had hooked his laptop to, pulling up the first dossier.  No one said anything about his computer's background picture for the moment it showed.  "First... we have the one who took our team hostage to pout at us.  Current whereabouts, Paris.  Buying a lot of very high end chocolates from what Interpol could tell."  He put that up beside her picture.

"What does she do?" one of the new ones asked.

"She's the daughter of the Albanian ambassador, runs weapons, and kidnaped my whole team to pout at us because she thought Ezra had dumped Xander," Buck told her.  The agent gave him an odd look.  The others all nodded.  "Chocolates, JD?"

"Yeah, we think it's her wedding present since the jeep with the vehicle mounted weapons system she was bidding for went to someone else on our list."

"They should register," Nathan said dryly.  "That way people know what to actually get them."

"The invitations are going to say to donate to the pound or a few other charities," Chris said.  "That way no one has to write thank you notes."  He ate a bite of crab.  "Any chance we can keep her in Europe long enough?"

"Anything on how she got into the country the last time?" Gibbs asked before JD could answer.

"Yes, we have their usual ports, as supplied by Xander having to sneak weapons to the Council's armory.  Plus girls that needed evacuated but he didn't have papers for.  I've got that after this, Gibbs."

"That's fine.  Any idea when she's coming back?"

"Yes.  She's booked a ticket to La Guardia next week.  Interpol said they don't have anything to hold her on.  All the reports of her arms dealing are hearsay to them."  They all grimaced at that.  Interpol wasn't always cooperative.  "I've talked with Fornell about her and two others so they can meet her and send her off immediately."

"That's fine," Gibbs agreed.  "Saves me some running, kid.  She's how high on the danger scale you guys worked out earlier?"

"Three.  We have a few who rank in the eight and up category and two that defy all that.  Plus three demon lords who will gift them because they respect and like Xander for all he's done.  They've sent them to Faith from what she said."  He changed dossiers.  "This is one of the eight and up.  He is fairly dangerous.  He actually kidnaped Xander twice in Africa.  He was seen in DC a few months back.  He's on our terror watch list and the old director of the ATF let him go and erased his file."

They all sighed and shook their heads.  "So far he's bought them two matching katanas that are old but gorgeous.  He hasn't sent it yet so we're assuming that he's adding something else.  We know he's been talking to some specialty weapons makers.  Usually they do things like odd grenades."  Gibbs shook his head, taking a sip of beer.  "We think he's going to add some as a wedding night safety kit."  He changed.  "This one defies our scale.  He's fully evil; a psychopath, kidnaped Xander before he went to Africa, about three months before, and he still thinks he loves him.  He shot three of his minions recently for telling him about Ezra and the news going on right now."

"Isn't he a wannabe evil dictator that's started a militia?" McGee asked.

"Yup and he has hackers, though he's rated as a lesser hacker himself.  I'll be helping you go over the white house systems to make sure they can't be compromised by anyone less than McKay's level."

"Sure, I've worked on Evan's system a few times when Rosenburg hacked it on him."  He ate a bite of claw meat.  "Did they date or did he just kidnap Xander?"

"Just kidnaped him but he thought he was in great love with him.  He's having Romeo and Juliette fantasies," Tony told him.  "I saw a letter from him the other day and asked Xander who he was.  I took it to have it scanned a second time."

"At least Anya's not still alive," McGee sighed, looking at Gibbs.  "She was the one he nearly married."

"I heard.  Mrs. O'Neill told me about her.  Thankfully she's at peace."  He sipped his beer.  He was starting to get a headache.  "How many people are on our lists?"

"If we only concentrate on the ones he dated, seventeen.  If we concentrate on the evil ones who want him, forty-three."

Gibbs shuddered.  "I'm so glad I had that beaten out of me by the Marines."

Tony nodded.  "And that no one beyond the old pro-tem director of the ATF tried to get us to date."

Gibbs looked at him.  "If you had, I wouldn't have cared, but I would've smacked you both on the head for the headaches you'd cause me."

"Was that forty-three just on Xander's side?" Buck asked dryly.

"Yup," JD said with a grin.  "We have three on Ezra's that are in jail and four that aren't.  Generally we get all his evil ex's one way or another."

"Generally after we rescue him from them," Chris agreed, making the others nod.  Vin was snickering.  "He have any stalkers?"

"Outside that one church who's spamming him daily with 'you can get right with God' messages?"  He smirked.  "By the way, hacked them to stop it and take his email address out of their systems, plus block them from sending more.  They are a demon church.  They are peaceful demons, but they're fundamentalist baptists.  Xander was worried about them going after a few local churches that were taking up the Vatican's call.  Apparently they had a slayer show up in their church during service to warn them not to go after the bigots in the local churches.  They agreed that would be against God's words.  That they can protest and picket them instead.  So that may be handled outside of them spamming and being anti-gay."

"That's nice to know," Ziva said.  "Why would demons go to that sort of faith?"

JD shrugged.  "Don't know.  Apparently they felt it was right for them.  They have a real fire and brimstone approach.  I've listened to one of their minister's sermons.  He told them to live the good life or they'd go back to where they had escaped from.  The description sounded worse than most preacher s' do about hell.  I guess he'd know."

She nodded.  "Possibly."  He moved onto the next one and she moaned.  "I know him."

"Did you know him before he dated Xander or after?" Buck asked her with a grin.

"I trained with him.  He was over my physical training when I was still new to the Mossad."  She took a drink of her beer.  That was a bad thing.  "Can I warn my superiors about him, Gibbs?"

"Please, all of them in case they can help," Chris ordered.  "Tonight if you can."  She nodded and they went over him too.

The two new agents learned why they didn't want the president by the time they got to the agents who had went dirty and still wanted one of them to be theirs.  They got the point very well and realized that Standish was better for him.

***

John was kicked back in the rec room on Atlantis when the news changed topics.  "Why do you think that the president's upcoming wedding has started off a massive push to arrest arms dealers?" the anchor asked the one with the story.

"Well," she said with a smile for the camera.  "There have been rumors and jokes around DC for years that President Harris dated assassins and arms dealers.  Even he's made jokes about it.  But perhaps that wasn't actually a joke."  She shuffled her notes then looked at the camera again.  "There is presently a small task force to deal with about thirty-eight names.  Big names in the underground communities.

"Searching some of them out have led us back to Denver's ATF office, and Agent Standish's team.  A few have led us to well known names on the watch lists.  Some have led us back to Africa and Asia when President Harris was off finding and training slayers in their native environments."  She smiled again.  "Perhaps they think they'll try to interrupt the wedding of the century?"

"Is there more than rumors about his dating past?" the anchor asked.

"Just the quips that he could have been dating assassins.  Now, we have talked to a few sources, none all that willing to talk to us, who have confirmed that a few are past girlfriends of President Harris.  One of the senior slayers mentioned one when she said she liked Agent Standish more than her.  Another of his associates at the Council had made a quip when the first rumors of them dating started with another name on the task force's  list.

"I know President Harris himself said that he dated a few former demons."  She shrugged, smiling at the anchor.  "He seems very open minded.  We have found evidence of a marriage certificate that got filed but never was officiated.  The birthdate for the bride was set back in the late 800's.  We don't know much about her though beyond that and her name."

"That's extremely old.  Was it possibly a typo?"

"No, from a source I asked about it, she said that the young lady had been a vengeance demon, which is a chosen job not a birthright job.  She was Vengeance for Women Scorned so she basically went around granting wishes to women who were mad at their husbands."  He shuddered.  "He told me an amusing story about how she turned one man in Central America into the only working flush toilet in the village because he beat his wife for not putting the seat back up for him."  His mouth flopped open.  "He also said that President Harris was shown how miserable they'd have been in the long run so he walked away from her at the altar.  She apparently died in the last battle of Sunnydale.  They had moved back to friendship after all that however."

"So...."  He cleared his throat.  "That's a job you're hired for?"

"Yes.  Apparently she was human before she was chosen and then human after she got fired."  She smiled.  "She was supposed to be one hell of a woman, outspoken, mostly independent, but allowing President Harris to buy things for her.  Sexually liberated as well, which doesn't really go with what we know of women during those times but I suppose she adapted to the more modern ways when she got fired.  She had seen how history had moved and perhaps participated."

He nodded once.  "So he does date people who are not all together good?"

"Outside of Agent Standish.  There were rumors of him at a former job in another agency but most of them were stopped when the people spreading them were arrested for being dirty agents.  Then the one that got missed left when the last head of the FBI got arrested.  He got arrested for forcing a subordinate officer into a degrading sexual relationship."

"Interesting.  So we think Agent Standish is dangerous enough for his tastes but a truly good man?  Even though they're together?"

"Yes.  It also appears that they're very strong as a couple.  Before the proposal, Agent Standish had to face down his mother and disown her for her attempts to keep them apart.  In public.  He's never been that unsubtle before; that time he was very vocal about how she should leave the country, plus her habits of stringing rich men along.  Whoever raised him with her did a much better job than they did on her."

"That's good to know.  Is there any hint that he is with the President for more than...carnal reasons?"

She smiled.  "I got invited to the barbeque a few weeks back.  Before Agent Standish got there, the President was joking and easy going.  After he got there, the president had a look on his face like he was a teenager in goofy headed love.  It's clear to see that Agent Standish helps ground him and helps with things other than his wardrobe.  He's lost that exhausted look he wore for the first two months, when they were apart.  He's gained back the weight he lost that we were all worried meant he was sick or depressed.  He's back to dressing better, which is good for his image.  Even the dogs played more once he was back."

"Interesting.  Do you think this relationship is hindering his ability to make decisions?  Is he depending on him too much?"

"No, I think Agent Standish is doing the same things all the other spouses in the White House have.  They're technically advisors when they talk at night but not really more than that.  Though I have heard that Agent Standish is not going to take over the Rose Garden's commitment.  Colonel Lorne has a good hand with it apparently so he's happy taking over that duty."

"So we don't think this will hinder him in any way outside of the countries that won't want to deal with him?"

"Frankly, half of them aren't our allies.  The few that are huffy, he's told them bluntly they can talk to Colonel Lorne.  He was very blunt about that subject as well.  Most of them have agreed that's a workable solution and they like him more anyway because he grew up around politics and those sort of upper class people.  President Harris never really dated a higher class person and he certainly wasn't raised one.  He misses the subtle nuances of society."

"Interesting.  Have we found anything else out?"

"Well, one thing that's interesting.  That ghost that shows up now and then, his ex, Cordelia?  Apparently she was his girlfriend in high school but they broke up because Mr. Harris cheated on her with one of his best friends, who was also cheating on her boyfriend.  Everyone I asked about that said that she had panicked about things changing and he was on the outs with Miss Chase at the time.  Though they had repaired their friendship before she died on the LA patrol team."

"So she was part of the Sunnydale team?"

"I asked the Slayer Faith.  She said that Miss Chase had been a second line.  Basically she helped with the big things but not the nightly patrols most of the time.  She definitely knew from when Miss Summers showed up, but was only a helper.  It's also said that Miss Chase used to say some very insulting and cutting things to Mr. Harris and then they'd make out.  So apparently it wasn't a healthy relationship by any means."

"That is something interesting to hear.  So why does she haunt him?"

"According to Mrs. O'Neill during their first married year, Miss Chase is the messenger for some higher beings.  Sometimes she shows up when bored to nag her ex, sometimes she shows up to tell him important things.  Like during his swearing in when the witch had been taken over and needed to be helped."

"Huh.  So she's basically a nagging ex who can tell that we're all screwed sometime in the future," he said.

She smiled and nodded.  "Though, I did ask a psychologist about what she's said over the years and he advised the President might have some low self esteem from that and his upbringing, which he's mentioned a few times himself.  Apparently Agent Standish has helped him with that so he's more confident and able to do the things we need him to do."

"Thank you for that.  We'll take viewer comments later this hour about the relationship and wedding," he said to the camera with a smile.  "I can't wait to hear what you think today."

John changed the channel.  "I think your reactionary response is typical of evil bitches who want Xander for their own," he said dryly.  "Or they're just gay bashing because they're scared of their desires for men.  That's why you used to talk about my ass."  The guys in there with him laughed at that.  "He did!"

"He did many times, sir," one of the Marines agreed.  He petted the dog, smiling at him.  "Hi, Blackhawk.  Sir, are you going to the wedding?"

"They haven't planned anything yet.  I think I'm on the invitation list though.  Jack O'Neill too probably."  They all grinned at him for that.  "I have no idea what to get Xander outside of weapons and I have the feeling all those evil bitch exes of his have that area covered."

"So there really is a task force to deal with his ex's?" one of the scientists asked.

John looked at him and nodded.  "Yeah.  Xander dated so many evil things, and even more wanted him, even if they said they weren't gay."  They all slumped and shook their heads.  "One tried to send Xander a sidewinder system for his car as a swearing in present for his first term as VP.  The FBI discovered it and stopped that one before he knew.  That way he couldn't beg his way into keeping it."

"Does he like weapons?"

"Yeah.  All too many of them.  His arsenal is still half hidden from Ezra.  The other half now belongs to the White House's armory."  They snickered.  "He used to take the guard's guns as he walked past them to clean them on the agents.  The former head of the ATF had to make him stop it."  That got a few more laughs.  "I had him taught our weapons so he would quit pouting about that."  Blackhawk barked and hopped up to get petted from him.  "Thanks, dog."

"What did you get Doctor McKay for his wedding?" one of the scientists playing cards asked.

"Six hundred condoms and a book on what to do with a wife, plus a certificate to his favorite coffee dealer."

"Is that why it took so long for his son to be born?" the scientist quipped.

John nodded.  "Maybe.  You know, she's talking about another one."  They all shuddered.  McKay had the mood swings instead of her.  It had been horrible to work with him.  "So submit opinions."  They went to talk to Willow.  She was usually reasonable and could control her husband sometimes.  John relaxed with his dog until the emergency alarm went off.  He got up and jogged out.  "Airman, watch my dog," he ordered the nearest one.

"Why do I have to watch the dog?' she complained, heading that direction.  "He doesn't belong here.  I should throw a ball off a pier and watch him fetch."

Another soldier zatted her.  "We'll see about that," he said snidely.  He would watch the dog.  When John came back, after chewing on a few scientists who tried to blow up a lab, he smiled.  "Sir, I took proactive measures to lessen the bitching about your pet and the plan to get him to drown in the ocean."

"Thank you.  Who?"  He pointed at the unconscious body.  "I'll have her shipped back to the mountain later.  Put her in the brig for now."  He got MP's to let them gather her while the airman told them why.  They agreed, they liked the dog.  It was fun to play with him.  John sat down, petting his poor friend.  "I know.  It'll be okay.  You can go play with Albert later."  The dog barked and ran off to find the baby.   It liked the baby a lot.  John rolled his eyes.  His dog was so spastic sometimes.

Rodney walked in and punched him on the arm.  "That's for having them gang up on us to not have another heir."  He gave him an mean and evil smirk.  "For that, she's having a girl."  He walked off again to save his son from the dog drool.  He was much too young to appreciate dog drool.

John snickered.  "That's good to know so we have some warning."  He got into his email on his tablet PC since it was sitting on the table he had his feet up on.  He sent a message about the idiot female airman he had arrested to Landry.  He found one from Xander and Lorne begging to come hide on the city for a while.   He reminded Xander he wasn't really allowed on the city and Lorne could hide anytime he needed.  He reminded Xander he had a farm to hide in and it had been owned by paranoid militia types so it probably had a well stocked bunker that no one could get into.   Ezra appreciated that reminder for their next time off.  Evan appeared in a flash of light and walked off shaking his head.  "Bad day in the senate?" he asked with a grin.

"Fucking people who want to know what Xander does in bed.  I had two senators ask me if Xander took it or not."

"Should've seen Marty's program," he called after him.

"I heard already."  He walked into his suite, shut the door, locked it, and fell face first on his bed.  He *really* needed to get out of DC before he turned into one of the natives or worse, started to want Xander for himself.

Wedding Details.

Xander looked around the VIP lounge of the restaurant they were in.  He and Ezra had snuck off for a quiet dinner away from all the nagging and begging people.  He sipped his milkshake then put it down.  "We have one major decision to make before everything."

"Which one?" Ezra asked with a small smile.  Xander was having french fries and a milkshake for dinner, no matter what he had gently pushed him toward.  Clearly things were getting pushy again.

"DC, Denver, or Cleveland?"

Ezra blinked a few times.  "That is a problematic issue.  I will rule out DC unless you absolutely want it here."

"No, but I thought it might be easier."

"Perhaps but not something I want to look forward to."  He nibbled his fajita.  Xander had talked him into it and it made him grin that goofy, silly grin at him.  "Denver or Cleveland."

"I could mention LA but I'm not from there, it was just a stopping place and I'll be damned if we have it in the ruins of Sunnydale."

"Not something I wish either," Ezra agreed.  "It would be hard to protect things.  I would have reservations about the inclusion of the hellmouth in our wedding."  He sipped his tea.

Xander grinned.  "Well, the thing does love me.  Every time I go to Cleveland, it welcomes me home but it settles down after a day."

"Hmm.  Then can I push for Denver?  Between both ranches we do have splendidly safe places to hide from the mass of writhing heads that spout nonsense."

"Mine has razor wire," Xander said proudly.

"Yes, but Chris's is actually safer and has more land.  Plus there's a few beautiful buildings we could choose."

"Okay, so it's Denver.  Did you want to talk church versus somewhere else weddings?"

"I don't think that's necessary.  While Josiah might be one for that, as is Nathan, I'm not needing to have someone else's blessing at this time.  Perhaps when it's legal there."  He ate another bite.  Xander nibbled a few of his fries and slurped more of his shake.  "So that would leave outdoors or a hotel?"

Xander shrugged.  "I don't care either way, Ezra.  Weather might be a concern but we can put up tents.  After we clean the field from the horses probably."

"There's a few places like that.  We would definitely have to be downwind of the barn."  He considered it.  "We can use your farm for the wedding itself.  It's a mere mile away.  It's private and we can hold everything in the unsullied yard.  Have our wedding night there."  Xander grinned at that and Ezra felt his stomach tighten.  He took a fast kiss then got back to his dinner.  "You really should have some protein, Xander.  They'll drive you to yell otherwise."

"I'll have plenty for dessert," Xander said smugly.  Ezra blushed at that, giving him a look.  Xander smirked.  "No matter who says what, we aren't living together and if I want to invite you up for some 'tv watching' then they can't really complain more than usual."

"They didn't yell at the O'Neills when they had sexual relations in the apartment."

"I don't think they got down and funky that way before the wedding.  They kinda went from kidnaped together to a few dates to the wedding."  He ate another fry.  "Besides, they're complaining that we're having gay sex in the white house before marriage."  He shrugged.  "I have no idea if they'll switch it to just having gay sex in the white house later."  He snatched a piece of fallen meat with a grin then ate more of his fries.  "So my farm.  Big tents?"  Ezra nodded.  "White?"

"That is the usual tent color.  Beige would be nice, very neutral no matter the color scheme we plan on."

"Okay."  Xander made that note for himself.  Then looked up.  "We'll have to ship our wedding clothes or sneak it somehow.  Otherwise the bag checking people will blab."

"We can have someone else carry them like they're theirs."  Xander nodded that would work.  "Attendants?"

"I..."  He sighed.  "I'm not sure who I'd ask to stand up for me, Ez.  I'm back on equal footing with Buffy and Willow but we still never talk.   I haven't talked to Willow outside of planning for the next apocalypse in six months."

"When is that?"

"Small one this spring.  Major one next year unfortunately."

"Hmm."  He considered it.  "That would mean one election year."

"Which we can use to point out how good someone else is at protecting everyone."

"True, a subtle campaign might help with that problem."  He sipped his tea, considering things.   "Unless I had the other six stand up beside me, I don't see how I could choose."

"So no attendants?"

"That seems the most reasonable choice, yes."  He sipped his tea and put it back down, smiling at him.  "Formal or not?"

"You know I'm more than ready to go for the wedding on the beach idea," Xander said.

"I know, but I don't really like the beach that much."  Xander grinned.  "Do you want to wear a tuxedo or a suit?"

"Jeans and a nice shirt?"

"I doubt that."  He smirked.  "And no fantasy costumes either."

"Shoot, I can wear a cute toga or a gladiator outfit, or hey, even be a cowboy and embarrass Chris to no end."

"No.  No fantasy costumes, even if you were in leather armor or an outfit like that one show with Ares."  Xander smirked at that.  "I know you have one."

"He's why I bought the leather pants."  Ezra snickered, shaking his head.  "Hey, I look good in them."

"You do," Ezra agreed.  "They do conform nicely to your shape."  He smirked.  "Suit or tuxedo?"

"Suit?"

"Then we'll do that."  He patted his hand.  "Eat."  Xander nibbled some more, taking some more spilled meat from the fajitas.  Ezra made him one and handed it over.  "There, eat more.  You can still have that other protein later."  He smirked as the boy gulped it.  He knew he had been hungry.  The generals were annoying him to no end again.  They had no idea what Xander was going to come up with to horrify them all.  Ezra knew, but the generals were in for a rude awakening soon.  "What do you think about the suits?"

"I think the Armani guys were getting pushy and expecting you to come to them.  I think maybe finding someone who'll make us look fantastic but isn't our usual so it's a special suit?"

Ezra considered that sentimental reason then nodded.  "These are some of the most important suits in our lives."  Xander grinned.  "I can see that and I do have a few in mind we can interview with.  Two are speciality suit makers.  They only make it to fit you.  One is a fashion designer I adore but it is exorbitantly expensive."

"Some wedding dresses cost up to fifty grand, Ez."  Ezra shuddered.  "If I was female they'd expect me to have something pricey and exquisite.  Something like that one designer on that one show you got me watching, Pnina Tornai."

"She does do some fantastic dresses that are sultry yet tasteful for the most part.  Yes, I can see us wearing something that would be like hers."  He smiled.  "I know which ones to talk to.  Color scheme?"

"Season?" Xander countered.  "Spring, winter?"

"Winter is notoriously hard."  He considered that.  "Fall is too soon.  It's early spring now."

"We can pull together an event in that amount of time if we do the invitations soon."

"It will take a month to print."

"So winter?  Maybe October?  Is that snow season or just chilly?"

"That tends to be chilly.  The month tends to start in the seventies and then slowly degrade to the sixties and fifties but overnight is very cold."

"So a morning wedding, then the lunch and dancing times, letting everyone make it home for snuggling after dinner?"

Ezra considered it.  "September seems to have the prettiest days.  But the first part of the month will be hotter."  He finished his last fajita, pouring the last of the meat and vegetables on top of Xander's fries for him, getting that same shy grin that made his stomach curl up.  "Late September, early October.  We'll have a bitter cold snap at night."

Xander kissed him.  "Both of us have found nirvana and even the Powers That Hate Me won't mess up the wedding," he said quietly.  Ezra smiled and nodded at that sentiment.  "Or we cap Cordelia."  Ezra laughed, giving him a better kiss.  The waiter came in and headed out again.  "We're good," Xander called.  He came back to clear off any dishes.  Xander finished his quickly and handed it over with a smile.  "Can we have a piece of pie to share?"

"Of course," he agreed with a smile, going to get it for him.  He brought back a large slice and left them alone again.  He didn't care if he was gay, but he was a good president.

Xander fed Ezra a bite with a grin.  "Chocolate cake?"

"I have the most delightful cake to introduce you to," Ezra countered.  He fed him a bite.  "Then we'll talk."  Xander smirked and nodded.   "We have one in town that makes the most divine cakes."

"What about the caterer?  Since we both liked that one place and it's here?"  He ate a bite then fed Ezra one, getting one back from him to earn a smile.  "You need to eat some too."

"Like you, I'll have a very wiggly dessert later."  The person opening the door gave him an odd look.  He winked at her and she blushed, pouring them some more ice water before leaving them alone.

"Naughty you, I should spank," he teased.  The girl outside the door squeaked and moved on again.  He snickered quietly.  "Sorry."

"No, that was something I was about to do."  He fed him a bite then took a kiss once he had swallowed it.  "We'll talk to the chef, see who he recommends."

"Okay."  He smiled.  "Invite him up?"

"No.  That would be mean.  We'll schedule an appointment there."  Xander nodded, sneaking a small bite of fruit then feeding Ezra a large bite.  Ezra fed him again and it was good.  Xander was still hungry, as Ezra knew he would be.  They'd have a good snack after their cuddle and things to the tv watching.  They paid, Xander putting down a very high tip, and snuck out.

The waiter came out with it to split with the water girl.  "They left a fifty percent tip."

"He's a nice man," the chef agreed.  "I was in the kitchen as an intern during his first term as VP.  He's a really nice guy."  He smiled and got back to things.  "Did they sort anything out about the wedding?"

"I heard mention of a chef they both liked but he was local and the wedding wasn't."

"Hmm.  Interesting."  He smirked and got back to his orders.  They weren't that busy tonight.  At least until the press heard and descended to get a story out of it.  They'd want dinner to go, like usual.

***

Chris opened the door of the restaurant the next morning, following Xander and Ezra inside.  "They have a meeting with the chef," he told the hostess, who gaped and nodded quickly.  She went to get him.

He came out smiling.  "Sir," he said, shaking Xander's hand.  "A special dinner?" he asked, shaking Ezra's hand.

"Actually, if we were having the wedding in DC, you'd be our choice for caterer," Ezra said happily.

"Oh!"  He blinked.  "Wow."  He led them back to his office.  It was tiny but not bad.  Chris went to the bar for now.  "So, not here?"

"No, it might be infected by politicians," Xander said.  "Denver."

"Hmm.  I can't really leave the restaurant for the few days I'd have to be there."

"Do you have someone out there you can recommend?" Ezra asked.  "I've tasted most of the higher end restaurants out there and none have settled in the way you have."

He smiled.  "I'm glad to hear it.  I know a few guys out there."  He pulled out his rolodex.  "Hmm.  This is who I know out there and I like."  He let them see them.

Ezra handed three back immediately.  "Bad service and I actually got sick at that one," he admitted quietly.  The chef nodded.  "Hmm.  That one's a well known chef."

Xander looked.  "I like Emerill's show but I can't handle that spicy for everything."

"True, we'll have touchy stomachs.  Some spice is fine but not that much."  That one got handed back.  He stared at the last two.  "I've never seen those two."

"Both are mid-class places.  Neither are really extensively known, even to the locals."

"I'll be back there in a month so I'll check them out."  He took pictures of the cards with his phone, putting it back in his jacket pocket.  "I do wish we were having it here."

"But we were thinking about having a celebration sort of dinner here.  That way it doesn't look like we're snubbing all the people who want to know what we do," Xander added with a grin.  "For that, we'd like you to cater."  He pulled out the notes they made, handing it over.  "The invitations haven't been sent yet so the number's probably going to go down."

He looked it over, nodding.  "That's not a bad plan.  When's the wedding?"

"We haven't set a firm date but late September, early October," Xander said.

"Hmm.  That's not a bad time for me."  He flipped through his book then looked at them.  "What were we thinking about colors, tastes, all that?"

"I have a fantastic black forest cake I'll introduce him to."

"That is a sinful wedding cake."  He smiled at Xander.  "Never had one?"

"Small piece at school once."

"This will be nothing like that," Ezra assured him.  "I'll ship one from the restaurant when I get back."  He got a grin and a nod.  "You can make JD quit moping."

"I can do that."  He looked at the chef again.  "I know it's hardly ever done but I was hoping that would soothe some temper tantrums over the marriage and help those that want to say they're in good graces relax since the wedding's going to be fairly small."

"It's not that unusual."  He put them into his book.  "I can easily plan a menu that will go with that sort of cake, and once you've set your reception menu I can mimic it or complement it."  Xander nodded, smiling again.  "Let me know when we have more firm details and I can start planning for you."

Xander gave him a hug across the desk.  "Thank you."  He pulled back.  "Have a good, prosperous but non-cranky day, Chef Thomas."

"I hope the politicians leave you alone soon, sir."

"I hope the reporters do," he said dryly, cracking the chef up.  They left, picking up Chris at the bar to go back to the white house.  Xander pulled his security people into his office, all of them, after kicking out a waiting general.  "Give me ten.  Thank you."  He shut the door and walked back to behind his desk, staring at them.  "We have a tentative wedding plan."  JD beamed at him.  Chris nodded slowly.  "We're doing it at my place."

"When?" Buck asked.

"Around the end of September," Ezra said.  "We haven't set an exact date yet.  I'm going to be looking over some future forecasts."

"Tent, fake floor to keep out any mud," Chris said, considering it.  "Yours is safer than mine but smaller.  How big is the wedding going to be?"

"I have seventy five I want to invite," Xander said, looking at Ezra.

"I have about fifty.  Perhaps a few more."

"So we'll even out at about one-twenty or just under," Josiah said.  "Not too many to clear.  World leaders?"

"Jack and John are on mine," Xander said, looking at Ezra.

"Mine as well," he agreed.  "I know most of yours are slayers and Council."  Xander nodded.  "Anyone higher?"

"No, but some of the girls might have dates."

"So, probably no bigger than two hundred total," Chris decided.  "Seating?"

"Big group or tables," Ezra said.  "Whichever will work easiest."

"I say theater seating so we don't have the 'which side are you on' debate," Xander said with a small shrug.  "We both walk in from the sides?"

"That would work."  He smiled.  "It can be made dramatic if you want."  Xander grinned but shrugged a bit.  "I'll be doing the clothes, of course."  JD snickered.  "Food is presently being thought about."

"Two weeks after we get back, we'll be hosting an event here in town," Xander said.  "To soothe tempers that didn't get invited and things.  We can possibly turn it into a charity event and not blatantly state it's a second reception."

"I would like that," Ezra decided.  He made that note to talk about with the chef and find a good charity.  He looked up.  "We're deciding on invitations later."  Xander handed over the sample he liked the most.  "That's simple and elegant.  Colored band?"

"Can be made to match the wedding colors," Xander said with a grin.  "Or we can leave it silver or gold."

"That's reasonable."  He looked at them.  "Any questions so far?"

One guard raised his hand.  "The security at your ranch, sir?"

"It used to belong to a paranoid yahoo, as Ezra called him," Buck said.  "It has razor wire, bunkers, all that."

"That might be handy then," the head guard decided.  "We'd like to look it over."

"Make Jack go check the building to see what else needs renovated?" Xander suggested with a smile.

"That'll work, sir.  Any other plans?"

"The restaurant we favor in town will be doing the catering for the local event.  We talked to him earlier.  I have a cake maker in mind.  I'll mail him back a sample so he can gush."  He smiled at JD.  "And let you quit moping again."  He looked at them again.  "We have decided to go unattended.  That way neither of us has to make a choice about who will stand up for us and who will pout in the audience."  Vin grinned at that, nodding some.  "Not that I feel I can't but I do not want to make such a choice."

"That makes good sense," Chris agreed with a small grin.  "We can look up who can do the nice tents.  Any choices?"

"Beige," they said in unison.

"That way it goes with everything," Xander agreed.  "Including the landscape at that time of year."

"True.  The grass will be a bit brown that time of year."  He scratched behind his ear.  Xander and Nathan both frowned.  "It's a spider bite, people.  Relax."

Xander looked.  "Yes it is.  And it's infected."  He let Nathan have him.

Ezra smirked.  "That was mean, Xander."

Xander smirked back.  "Now and then I get to be the mean one in this 'ship, Ezra."

"True.  I do enjoy it when you do."  He smiled at the guards, who were trying not to laugh.  "We'll have some shouting later by the way.  Not us, but during a meeting."

"We can watch out for it," the head guard promised.   "We'll need a guest list as soon as you have it made.  Before the invitations if possible.  That way we can do background checks.  That way if there's anyone contentious we can argue before you send them."

"Okay, I can finish mine tonight," Xander said.  "I have to call Faith to see where everyone is."

"Mine is mostly made out but not written down," Ezra admitted.  "Give me until Monday."  They nodded.  "So far that is all we have planned."

"No bar?" Xander asked.  "Just a bit of non-atrocious wine or champagne?"

"I do agree that would be suitable since it'll be a morning wedding and a lunch reception."  He smiled.  He understood why Xander didn't want to see drunks on their special day.  "Do not include the horses."

"Companion would look stunning with me riding her up to the altar."

"That would go with a fantasy theme and I think we both decided against doing that sort of thing in pubic."  He gave Xander a pointed look, getting a naughty grin back.

"I nearly talked him into the toga," he told Buck, who cackled and walked out shaking his head to go to the bathroom before he lost control.  Xander grinned.  "We'll let you know more as we get it done, guys.  Thanks."  They left.  Xander nodded at Gibbs to stay.  He pointed at the general waiting impatiently outside.  "Yelling," he said quietly.

"I heard his last one," he admitted.

"It won't be any prettier today.  Find me Jon O'Neill please?  I know he's somewhere."

"I can call around."  He went to do that from Evan's office.  He was in there.  "Where's Jon O'Neill?"

"We have no idea.  The last time we knew he had left a meeting here and he's supposedly at the mountain."

"Get him here.  Xander needs him for a shouting match with a general."

Evan popped in his earpiece.  "Apollo, this is Colonel Lorne, I need an immediate beaming in of Jon O'Neill to my office.  There's a situation."  He hung up after he heard the 'got it' from the comm officer.  Jon appeared in jeans and a t-shirt.  "Where have you been?" he demanded.

"Bermuda.  Landry sent me on vacation."

"Xander's going to break a few generals in the balls," Gibbs told him.

"Oh, no," Jon muttered, heading that way.  Now he knew why he had the unscheduled vacation; it wasn't just team downtime.  He walked past Chuck.  "The yelling started?"

"No, not yet.  Soon though."  He handed over the notes Xander had given him for when someone found Jon.  Jon read and grimaced, shaking his head as he walked inside.  Chuck relaxed.  This was going to be fixed and Xander would go back to not eating that much sugar again.  He got really bouncy and it was hard to hide that from the press.  He winced at the general's shouting.

"How in the hell would you know, kid!" the general said loud enough for it to carry.

"Because I'm Jack O'Neill's clone and have all his memories," he said dryly.  The general huffed off.  "Have him checked for a snake, Chuck."

"Already done, sir, and he's not, just cranky."

Xander leaned out.  "Yes he is.  Let's not spread that but he definitely is."  He handed over notes.  "Also non spreadable, Chuck.  What we have so far so you know who to let call me."  He winked and smiled, going back to his desk.  "So, this is what I was thinking," Xander said, handing over those notes.  "As opposed to theirs."

Jon sat down, looking it over.  He looked at Xander.  "Won't work."

"Why?"

"Too dangerous, not enough people, and it's not a known location."

"We can fix two of those."  He sat down across from him.  "I was thinking a diversion run...."  Jon shook his head and fixed the plans on him.  That was better and Xander grinned.  It made more sense to him than the generals' plans.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  Let me deliver this and kick some tushes."  He walked out with the notes, shaking his head.  "Chuck, no generals today please."

"Sure."  He walked in to see Xander.  "Are you worried I'm the gossip chain link, Xander?"

"Hell no!"  He stared at him.  Then he smiled.  "But I know that the receptionist on the door has two of the janitors bribed to go through your desk because he wants your job."

"He does?"

"Yeah, that's what happened to your box of gobstoppers.  I stole the mints though, sorry."

Chuck nodded.  "I figured you did.  You were pretty bouncy and you left me five bucks to refill the jar."  He smiled.  "As long as you're not worried about my performance."

"Chuck, if you even think about leaving for any reason short of wanting to kill me, I'll beat your ass in sparring practice and make you work while sore."

Chuck laughed.  "Thanks, Xander."  He smiled.  "Here?"

"Denver.  My place."

"You might want to hide the weapons better."

"They are.  I had Dawn do it."

"Even better, sir."  He smirked back.  He was Xander's age and they got along very well.  "The Generals?"

"Oooh, so much trouble.  Jon got sent on a sudden vacation?"

"Apparently, sir."

"Can you call Jack for me?"

"Yes, sir.  Give me a minute to find him."  He went back to his desk, hiding those notes in a drawer no one but him could get into.  It had a fingerprint lock installed.  He called the cabin and got Buffy.  "Mrs. O'Neill, this is Chuck at the White House.  Xander needs to speak to your husband about some generals please."  She quipped something.  "I can do that.  Please do, ma'am.  Thank you."  He smiled at the fussing noises.  "Did that tape help?"  He beamed at Buck when he walked past his desk.  "That's good.  It helps Willow's son too, and the new one quits being so fussy when she hears it.  Yes, she is.  Doctor McKay said it was in retaliation for all the condoms Colonel Sheppard gave them for a wedding present."  She cackled and said Jack had just stepped in.  "Sir, Chuck at the desk.  Xander needs to speak to you about some problems, sir.  Yes please, sir.  I can hand over the phone...  That's fine."  He checked.  "Nothing for the next two hours and then he's meeting with some religious reps from a few different faiths to try to work out his problem with the Vatican."  He saw the flash go off and said bye quietly before hanging up.  "Only Agent Wilmington is in there, sir."

"That's fine."  He called Jon.  "Give me a sit rep."  He listened and snorted.  "Hell no!"  He listened to the rest.  "No way.  Thanks, kiddo.  Wait on me."  He hung up and walked in there.  "We want McMahon or someone with sense there."

"Please do appoint and let me know so I can make it official," Xander told him.  "Has the general that didn't know who Jon was gotten back to the Pentagon yet?"

"No clue.  I can go make sure of it though.  That bad?"

"Oh, so huffy.  They had him checked for an infestation before I said to.  He's been pushing me for the last few weeks."  He found those notes on the table and handed it over.

Jack read them over.  "Hell no!"  He walked off shaking his head.

"Jon did the same thing," Buck quipped once he was out of hearing.

"There's a reason for that," Xander said with a grin.  "What's wrong?"

"No attendants?" he asked quietly.

"Buck, who would I pick?  I keep in touch with the slayers I trained but we're not as tight as we used to be.  Two have died and the others are doing wonderfully and living their own lives.  Buffy and I aren't close anymore.  She gave me an odd look when I showed up for the Council's last meeting."

"I get that.  So it was to spare you making a choice?"

"That and how would he decide among you six?"

Buck nodded.  "I understand that.  I'd have to pick between JD and Chris more than the others.  He'd have to break someone's heart sometime."

"Exactly.  That way everyone can celebrate and you guys can still do all that pre-wedding stuff but no one's got to be uptight about it."

"I can handle that.  Your weapons stash out there?"

"Hidden by Dawn."

"Good!  I saw what you moved, kid."  He gave him a dirty look.  Xander just smiled back.  "Fine.  If we need it because of an attack, we're grabbing."

"Of course you are."  He smirked.  Buck walked out happier.  Xander relaxed, reading the latest stupid things from Congress and two good things.  He signed what needed to be signed and made calls to talk about the bill written in Yoda.  Someone needed some sense.

***

Jack walked into the Joint Chief's meeting area, glaring at the one lower general that had been plaguing people.  "Do we really want him to give bad ideas?" he demanded.

"Jack, calm down.  Jon's fine," one said with a smile.

"Yes, after he mysteriously got sent on vacation, which was after he got sent on a long, pointless meeting off-world."  He sneered.  "No more.  The kid's fine.  He knows more than I do about some things."  He looked at the head general.  "He's had enough, I've had enough, Jon's had enough, and all three of us can kill them."

"What's been going on?  I just got back from my back surgery to find everything in chaos."  Jack handed over the notes.  The lower general tried to snatch them.  "You touch these and I'll have you in the brig," he warned.  He read them over.  "No wonder my wife didn't want me to see the news."

"Oh, it gets worse," Jon said as he walked in.  He handed over some others.  "Found these waiting in Jack's office since he's been off liaising and shit."

The head general looked them over.  Then around the room.  "You three," he said with a point.  "And you," he said with another point.  "Join that idiot in the brig," he ordered with a point at the lower one who had been huffy earlier.

"Did you know he's not human!" the lower one shouted, pointing at Jon.

"Yeah.  Aliens made Jack a clone to experiment on to get his ATA gene."  He smirked.  "It caused a lot of problems.  It's the same reason the NID captured Harris as the VP to get his blood."  The man's face went pale.  "MP's!" he shouted. They came running in, snarling at Jon.  "Leave him alone!"  He pointed.  "They got to the brig.  Now."

"Sir, do you know what he is?"

"Yes.  I have known.  The Asgard, who were our allies, made him.  One psychotic little one who thought we needed another Jack O'Neill out there making us enemies in space."  The MP went pale.  "How do you know about that since it's above your classification?"  The MP backed up.  "He can go too."  The other MP's arrested and walked them off.  The head general stared at one until he slunk off to join them.  He looked at Jack.  "Do we have a problem with Landry?"

"Perhaps.  I was going to find that out.  Or actually let my wife figure that out."  He smirked.  "She has a highly sensitive bullshit meter."

"I'll get you a list of names in case."

"Thanks.  I'd like to nominate from inside but that would mean Sheppard or Mitchell.  They'd both kill me."

The head general nodded.  "I would too."  They shared a smirk.  "Clean house, O'Neill, and let me know what you need.  Apparently we have some openings."  The two O'Neills left.  He looked over Jon's notes.  "That's a really good plan."  He sent it to the operations office that would need it.  He recognized some of the old plans from a failed mission that had crossed his desk for posthumous medal nominations.  He looked at the remaining ones.

"Apparently we need to clean house, people.  Let's do it today."  They nodded.  "Nominate for the open spots too.  We all know Harris doesn't know too many of us."  They left to gather their staff and interrogate them.  "Jesus, what a cluster fuck," the head general said, going to chew his own Marines a new one.  This was not allowed.  At least the kid in the white house had sense enough to stall until things could get looked over by someone competent.

***

Xander got mugged by the press the next time he was out with the dogs, going to the vet's.  "People, they aren't feeling good," he warned.  The dogs were growling.  "Back down."  They backed off with help from the guards.  "Thank you."  He petted both dogs.  "What's wrong now?"

"Sir, we've heard wedding invitations have been ordered?"

"Yes, they have."  He smiled.  "I can already tell you no member of the press will be invited."  A few pouted at that.  "We're private people, guys.  We hate it when you want to know what we do for alone time."  They nodded at that.  A few more took pictures and the dogs started to growl again.  "What?" he asked her, petting her.  She was still cranky and staring in one section.  Gibbs went to look over that section.

"Gun!" Gibbs announced, going for that person.  A few reporters got in his way and got shoved.  Xander moved, as was planned.  One of the dogs got a graze when the gun went off but otherwise he was fine.  Xander got a graze too and kicked that person's ass since he wasn't the only gunman in the group.  The reporters watched, staring in horror.

"Off!" Chris ordered.  Xander backed up.  "Get them inside.  You can get a bandage too.  We'll be right there.  They're safe."  Xander nodded, walking inside with the dogs.  "Everyone else good?  Not that I want to save a reporter's life but I will."

"Sir, how did he do that?" one asked quietly.

Chris stared at her.  "Have you not realized he's been in every single apocalypse battle but the one in LA?"  She nodded.  "Did you think he stood there and looked pretty?"

"He's not a slayer."

"No, he trained them and trained with the original ones."  She nodded quickly.  "Clear the area for the local PD, people."  Cars were rushing up.  "Guys, corral them so we can make sure we got them all."  Gibbs nodded, forcing them against the cars so they could sort them out.  He glared at one that was still taking pictures.  "Try not to be so useless and do something decent," he ordered, giving her a shove toward the group.  "Dam idiot, might've been shot but still taking pictures," he told the Captain.

"They're reporters.  It's always like that with some of them, Agent Larabee.  Just the two?"  Chris nodded.

"I have one with a gun on her but a permit and a copy of a restraining order.  She did not even think about pulling it," Gibbs noted.  "I was staring at her when the first shot went off because I saw the holster."

"So she was the gun you saw?" Chris asked.  Gibbs nodded.  "The others?"

"That one was behind her and it looks like a jacket harness."  He let them see it since the guy was dead.  The other was moaning and bleeding.  "That one goes to the prison hospital."

"Already sent for people to pick him up," the head Metro PD guy said.  "Calm down.  Where's the president?"

"Inside with the dogs.  One's got a graze and so does he," Chris said quietly.  JD and Ezra showed up with Vin driving in a screech of brakes.  "Inside," he ordered.  "Vin, make sure he lets them bandage his arm."

"Knowing him, he's already done it himself," Ezra sighed.  They went inside.  "Xander?"  The nurse pointed a shaky hand.  "Relax, it's over with," he said calmly.  She nodded, going to lock the door and then calm herself down.  They walked into the exam room, finding Xander sitting in the corner hugging the other huge dog in his lap.  "Mamma is going to be just fine," Ezra soothed, touching his shoulder.  Xander flinched, looking at him.  "She'll be fine."

Xander nodded.  "It's only a little graze but the upset stomachs they're worrying over.  I think they're getting my ulcer."

Vin grabbed a bandage and held it up.  Xander groaned but let Pappa go so he could put the bandage on.  JD did it for him with a slight grin.  "Thank you," JD said quietly.

"I'm fine, guys.  I burnt out some anger taking it out on one of them."

"We saw the pulp that used to be human," Vin quipped.  The vet walked in and looked at them.  "We're his other guard team.  Relax."

"I am.  He's clearly calmer now."  He smiled at Ezra.  "Xander, have you got any poisonous plants at the white house?"

"Not as far as I know.  What is?"  He held up a leaf.  "What has that?"

Ezra looked.  "I believe a bush in the back of the garden.  It's been causing the stomach upsets?"

"Yes.  It's not exactly poisonous but it's not good for them.  They tend to vomit it back up and to crap out any that made it down their throats."  Xander relaxed, nodding at that.  "So watch them around that one or replace it if it's not an heirloom plant."  He shook his hand.  "Do you need any help beyond the bandage change?"

Xander looked then at him.  "I just put it on.  I'll get it changed once I'm back at the white house.  Is hers bandaged?"

"Yes.  We put on a nice one and wrapped it."  He let him see by making JD move.  "See?"

Xander nodded.  "I can change that if she needs it.  Thank you."  He shook his hand.  "I'm sorry about the reporter ambush and the other one."

"Having you shown as a responsible pet owner is actually encouraging others to do the same."  He patted him on the head.  "I'll let you guys go out through the emergency back exit if you need to."

"Please," Ezra agreed.  "Vin, clear it and move the car."  He went to do that since he had the keys.  Ezra helped the dog off the bed.  "Should we worry about the joint pains when they jump too far?"

"They're hefty dogs, Agent Standish.  They could lose about ten pounds."  He gave Xander a pointed look, getting a shrug back.  "But with their age, it's not unreasonable.  Nothing shows to be bad enough for a joint replacement yet.  Some St. Bernards do need it because they are such large dogs.  Try to keep them off anything too high and we'll keep an eye on that."  They nodded and walked the dogs out.  He relaxed, letting his nurse come in to clean up the mess.  "I hope they weren't aiming at the dog," he told her.

"No, the president moved pretty fast and it was aimed at his hip, sir."

"Crap.  Well, they have it well in hand."  That got a nod and she went to check.  The crowd of reporters had been made to go away.  The two former people were gone.   They were down to the scene clean up crew.  He sighed in relief and opened the lock on the door, making one jump.  "Can our clients walk around that mess?" he asked from the doorway.

"Yes, sir.  Not a problem."  She smiled.  "It's all done with.  We're pretty fast whenever something like this happens.  Looks bad on us."  He smiled back and went back to his office to calm down.

***

Nathan and Tony were waiting when they got back to the White House, Tony taking the dogs' leashes.  "What the hell happened!" Nathan demanded.

"They were aiming to shoot me in the ass and missed me, getting the dog," Xander said.  "The second shot hit my arm.  It's a graze.  I've already bandaged it but it could use changed since it's clotted."  Nathan growled.  He stared back.  "I can do that."

"Like hell!  Inside!"  The dogs got free of Tony's hand and ran for safety.

Ezra walked Xander inside to the infirmary.  The paramedic and Nathan fussed over the bandage, checking him for other ones.  They gathered the dogs from cowering under Xander's desk, taking them back upstairs.  Ezra pointed out the plant to Evan since he was handling the grounds upkeep right now.  Then they went to talk to the waiting press people.  Evan was pissed off, and not about the plants either.  Evan promised if this ever happened again to Xander or any other president, he would personally fly back, capture a wraith, and put the asshole in a cell with him.  All the reporters shuddered at that mental image.  They hadn't seen Evan mad before.  They didn't want to see it again.

***

John flipped to the news conference/emergency news broadcast, watching the shouting Evan was doing.  "He clearly needs a vacation," he told Rodney and his dog.

"I think putting a wraith in a prison would be a bad thing.  It might be like having dementors."

John smirked.  "She's making you read Harry Potter?"

"To our children so they grow up as strong as Xander," he said dryly, sipping his coffee.  "The daughter kicks quite strongly whenever Ron is mentioned.  I'm worried she'll fall for a redheaded slacker with anger and jealousy issues."  He took another sip and put it aside.  "Need to call to make sure he's fine?"

"I have no doubt that Ezra is calming him down," John said.  He shifted some to get more comfortable.  His dog scooted over to get some petting in.  "Spoiled," he teased with a grin.  "Did you see that Animal Planet had a special on the dogs?  They even tracked down the kid they saved to talk to her.  She didn't know the dogs had saved her."

"I'm sure that will cause her psychological trauma for a bit."

"Maybe."  He sipped his coffee shaking his head.  "Are you going to name the daughter Hermione?"  Rodney hit him on the arm with a scowl.  He grinned back.  Rodney huffed but let it go.

"He showed your style of turning someone into a begging heap of flesh and bones."

"Yes he did.  I helped his self-defense skills a lot.  He was scarily self trained before."  He put down his cup and went back to the ear petting, making his dog thump his tail against Rodney's leg.  "Is Willow still on her kick thinking that you're bisexual and we had hot monkey sex in Pegasus as she put it?"

"Yes," he complained.  "I've told her time and again I didn't.  I even had Keller tell her we dated."

"Is that why she's kitty hissing at her?"

"I believe so.  Jennifer apparently said I was bad in bed and that's why we broke up.  Willow rightly knows how fantastic I am so she's upset with her being so bad and trying to put it off on me."  He got up.  "She's due up soon."  He left him and his dog alone.  They really did have to fix John up with someone soon.  He was too busy hiding to date.

John looked at his dog.  "At least you're not female," he said quietly.  "You don't fuss over clothes like Buffy."  The dog got up with a groan and licked his face, making him laugh and pet him better.

***

"Maroon and baby blue?" Xander offered.

Ezra looked at him.  "Those don't go together."  Xander showed him the color palette generator he had been playing around with.  "Well, that sample webpage doesn't look horrible but I don't think so for a wedding."

"We both look fantastic in maroon."

"We do, but what about the traditional white?"

Xander shrugged.  "I guess it's okay.  I mean it's our only marriages."

"Well...."  Xander gave him a dirty look.  "I was very young.  She left me.  Mostly at Mother's urgings so I couldn't get too attached before a child came along."

"Can I beat your mother up?"

"No," Ezra said but he was smiling.  "She does have a warped sense of what is right for me but she did try to love me."

"That's better than mine did but still.  She's not invited."

"No, she is not invited.  She made herself plain," he agreed with a kiss.  Xander grinned again.  "Not maroon."

Xander went to google and found a color chart that had the names written in their colors.  "Well, what do you like?"

Ezra read it over, thinking about it.

"Sage/seagreen?" Xander suggested.

"Hmm.  Too dark for that time of year.  For the summer, definitely.  Or in the winter for a sharp contrast."  He looked over the list again.  "Steel blue for the wedding color.  Our suits...  We'll work on that later."  He smiled.  Xander took another kiss.  "Steel blue and what?  By the color wheel we should pick a green, a blue, a violet, or an orange.  Always next to it, surrounded by it, or across from it."

"Not an orange."

"All right, a green hue or a violet hue?"

"Steel blue is a medium dark blue.  No hints of purple or green.  The one for dark cyan is pretty.  Or a silver/gray tone?"

Ezra nodded.  "Very masculine.  The dark cyan is a blueish tinged toward purple it appears."  He considered it.  "Silver."  Xander smiled.  "That will be easier on the equipment people as well."  Xander snuggled closer.  "Did we need more help with things?" he asked casually.

"Why am I doing the flowers?"

"Because I know nothing about them."

"Can I delegate to Evan?"

"I doubt he knows anything beyond what he's been taught about the gardens here."

"Can he ask a botanist friend?"

"We can leave that up to the florist but we must pick what type."

Xander went looking for a site that had flower pictures.  "In blue flowers there's: Cornflower, Delphinium, Hyacinth , Iris, Lisianthus, Sea Lavender, Anemone, Hydrangea, and a few genetically engineered roses."  He looked up.

"My grandmother planted Delphiniums," Ezra admitted with a smile.  He looked over the pictures.  "She said they meant fun and big hearted."

"I can add them to the list," Xander said quietly.  He wrote that name down.

Ezra looked up the other's meanings.  "Not Hyacinth.  Iris has a good meaning - wisdom, valor.   That's interesting, I never knew ivy meant affection, fidelity, and wedded love."

"I thought it meant itchiness," Xander said.  He wrote that on the list.  They could do them as background leaves probably.  "Larkspur?  They didn't have that on the list."

"It's a pretty purplish blue flower," Ezra said, looking that up in another tab.

"Looking at the blue roses, there's a few varieties I want to add to the garden."  He made notes for himself.  "The Black Jade rose is a deep, deep red with some hints of black that's going to go well in that one corner.  That'll match with the Black Magic rose.  That and there's a Tuscany rose that'll look pretty grouped with them.  It's more maroon with a yellow center.  If we had went with maroon as a color we could use that."

Ezra looked.  "They'll go very well in that one corner with the dying tree."  Xander smiled at him.  He looked.  "Most of the blue roses are purplish but there is one fully blue rose hybrid.  That will be hard to find.  Perhaps we'll add some white ones?"

Xander gave him a kiss.  "Even if I have to ask Dawn to magic them blue for me," he said.

"That won't be necessary.  I'm not that picky.  Some Delphinium, some cornflowers or Sea Lavender, and some ivy would be fine."

"You told me to do the flowers," Xander reminded him.

"I know.  Do not spend the whole mint bare however."

"A hundred-eighty people, say six to a table?  So thirty small tables to put small centerpieces on or we can do individual sprays of flowers for each plate."  He made that note for himself as well.  "Are we wearing lapel flowers, whatever they're called?"

"Hmm.  I don't know.  Do you wish to?"

Xander shrugged.  "I don't really have an opinion about that.  I know I don't have to wear a veil, so that's something eased."

"True," Ezra agreed with a grin.  "Or the fancy dress."

"Thank the Goddess."

Ezra laughed, taking a kiss.  "That's a silly picture."

"So, you have the clothes, I have the flowers, we have the menu almost decided on?"

"Something simple yet not dry.  That you can talk around if you wish or stuff your mouth when someone is annoying you.  Simple, homey fare.  Not finger foods for more than the pre-luncheon nibbling."

"Separate tents for the reception and the wedding?"

"Yes.  Joined if possible."  He sketched out his idea.  "I'll need to check your yards to see how it's shaped but that would be for the best.  Then, during the lunch, they can fold back up the chairs in the wedding side so we can dance there."  Xander grinned.  "What are we dancing to?"

"I have no damn idea."  Ezra laughed.  "I'll go through my mp3's to see if I have something nice.  I doubt you want _Pain_ by Three Days Grace."

"Isn't that one where he'd rather have pain than nothing at all?"

"Yes.  That's the chorus."  Xander smirked.  "I don't listen to much softer stuff.  But I'll see what we have.  I'll ask Faith to ask the girls."

"That might help.  They are hip to modern music."

"Oooh!" Xander said, jumping up to find that mixed CD and put it into the player.  "The girls sent me this.  It's 3 Doors Down."  He sat down once it was playing.  "There's a few pretty songs on it.  I'm kinda torn between _When I'm Gone_ , _I Feel You_, and _Here Without You_."

They listened to all three.  "I think _When I'm Gone_ fits us very well.  Almost scarily well."  He let Xander rest against his side while they talked about it.  Music was something that was important in Xander's life.  Most of the time he'd have music on instead of the tv for noise.  He needed the background noise most of the time but music was the one he gravitated toward for any sort of emotional needs.  Xander restarted them to go back over them.

"_I Feel You_ reminds me a lot of myself when I was younger.  The same as it probably does you."  Xander nodded, putting his head down on Ezra's shoulder.  That song did speak to him.  It was almost exactly like he had been before he moved to Denver.  Before he found a family. _Here Without You_ was queued up.  "Did you listen to this one when we were apart?"

"The day I talked to your mother I came back to the office and put this song on repeat until England called."  He sat up and found something on his laptop, sending it via email to someone.  "I found the theme song for Rodney and Willow."  He got comfortable again.  "So not this one?"

"No, I like the first," he admitted quietly.  Xander gave him a hug.  "So much has changed since we were young men."

Xander smiled.  "We're both still young.  Just ask Chris."

Ezra snickered.  "That is true.  He does still call us both children now and then."  He flipped the song to another one. _Leaving London_ piqued his interest and so did _Changes_.  He'd have to check out their other songs.  The slayers who had sent it to him had very good taste.

***

John walked toward the lab when the loud, modern, rappish sounding music started to blare again.  That was going to drive him nuts.  "What are you doing?" he demanded.

Willow smiled.  "Xander sent it.  He thought it should be our theme song.  I'm not sure if he meant me and Rodney or the city."  She restarted it.

John listened, snickering.  "The city's definitely.  You're just the king and queen of the geeks on the city."  He walked off shaking his head. _White and Nerdy_ by Weird Al certainly fit those two, and most of the other geeks on his city.  Blackhawk was giving the lab doorway an odd look, head tipped to the side.  "Don't worry, Blackhawk, we know you're not a nerd."  The dog followed him back to his office.  It was still a bit rappish for his taste but he could ignore it for now.  They'd find something nicer soon.  Evan appeared.  "Xander sent them the geek theme if you're down near the labs."

Evan looked at him.  "He was blasting _White and Nerdy_ the other day before calling England."  He walked off shaking his head.  The dog followed so he got some dog time in.  Maybe he'd get a pet to take up some of his free time.  He'd have to find something that got along with Xander's huge piles of fur and slobber but he was sure he could.  They were nice when they weren't drooling on him.

Press Attention.

Ezra came back from Denver to find a drooling, begging boyfriend hoping he had brought more cake with him.  He handed over the two individual cakes and Xander moaned, kissing him there in the entry to the white house, in the public part.  A few tourists clapped.  He smiled as he walked him off.  "Save them for after dinner.  I'm sure you had plans?"

"Not really.  I was going to run a few ideas that's very stupid past you, maybe have some baked steaks sent up, and then 'watch some tv'?" he teased with a naughty grin.

"I could appreciate that.  What about the supposed panic that was on the news?"

"I got told to butt out.  I've already told the press I wanted to know what projections were going on when they got some done, but that my advisors had said to stay out of it.  I also pointed out that if I felt I had to, I'd find new advisors.  I got given a few names."  He took the precious cakes up to put them in his personal refrigerator then came back down.  Ezra was waiting and so was Jon.  "Big problems?"

"They told you to butt out?"

"Yeah.  They said something I said caused it and I have no idea what."

Ezra shook his head.  "The stock market plunged on bad earnings reports."

"So people need to save and spend again?" Xander asked.  Ezra nodded.  "We can help encourage that.  Make a rush on jewelry and things."  He considered it.  Ezra smirked at him.  "What?  You haven't even flashed your ring yet.  If you did, the entertainment people would change topics and Harry Winston would probably thank you a lot.  Oh, I added three songs to the playlist.  One the Carlos Santana/Guy from Nickleback song you liked."

"Which one is that?" Jon asked.

Xander turned it on. "_Why Don't You and I_."

Jon nodded.  "That's definitely a mushy love song done by rockers.  Can we have beer and wine?"

Ezra shrugged.  "The dinner won't go exceedingly well with beer."

"You're doing frou-frou food?" Jon asked with a grimace.

"Pork."

"Oh.  Then maybe it won't be so bad."  He shrugged.  "The Generals are huffy?"

"I told two to grow up?" Xander guessed.  Jon smirked and nodded.  "I nearly sat one in the corner for huffing at me that I didn't know what soldiers did.  I called one of my girls and had her explain to him what soldiers and slayers did.  He left nearly in tears.  He apologized by letter."

"Good," Jon agreed with a grin.  "He's probably the one they took the sidearm from.  His daughter's a slayer."

"Sucks," Xander said.  "I want like hell for us not to need them but we will.   The duty sucked worse when it was only one at a time."

"True."  Jon handed over the notes.  "They said your wanted timetable on the pullback is unrealistic."

Xander read it over.  "They have to start building that stuff," he said, handing it back.  "If we set a firm timetable they know when they have to have it by.  If they start now, it shouldn't be that hard.  You can train one of ours in basic in six months."

"True," Jon agreed.  "I pointed that out.  They want a year."

"I'll compromise and say ten months."

"I'll tell them."  Jon texted that to one, getting back that was doable.  "They liked that more than seven."  Xander smiled.  "Hyt's caretaker said not to invite him."

"Not on the list," Xander admitted.  "For the charity ball yes but not the one in Denver."

"Okay."  He texted that as well.  Then he looked up.  "Two generals want on the list for Denver."

"No.  Close friends and family only.  That's why we're having the charity ball."

"You're bringing up an African general."

"I saved his life and he saved mine twice.  I owe him."  He shrugged.

"Okay," he said, making that known.  That got a sigh and they'd agree to that.  "That's fine but they don't think he's very nice."

"He's not, but he's not a dictator yet.  He's still a general.  He's not even one that wanted me."  Ezra snickered.  "Did you run into that ex out there?"

"Yes I did and it was not a happy moment when I did," he said dryly.

"I told him if he came near you again I was going to serve him his nuts in a pretty sauce."

"That's probably why he was wearing the athletic protector," Ezra said.  Xander smirked and nodded.  "Where is he right now?"

"I made him go see Faith."  He gave him an evil, mean smirk, which made Ezra shiver.  "He's not real happy.  He's been whining at her for days about how he would be better.  She's already let Ronon kick his ass, and then the other girls, down to the mini ones.  He's very pouty and very sorry but I sent Buck and Vin to arrest him to put him out of the girls' misery."

"I like that about you, Xander.  You're willing to be mean," Jon said, shaking his head quickly.  "A houseful of pouty girls would be torture to me too."  Xander smirked at him.  "Anyway, am I invited?"

"Yes," Xander said patiently.  "We are friends, right?"  Jon nodded.  "Then yes."

"Cool."  He left, shaking his head the whole way to his car.

Chuck leaned in.  "Sir, the Russians are on line 1 and they're laughing."

"I hope he shares the joke."  He picked up the line.  "Yes, Minister?"  He listened.  "No, that was not my doing.  I'm told earnings are bad.  Yes, my advisors are.  I've already gotten names of a few others."  He listened.  "No, it's nowhere near that bad.  I'm told it'll even out after this week.  If not, I'm kicking asses."

He smirked.  "I thought that might relieve some people.  Yeah, I'm doing that.  Thanks.  No, just ride it out.  It'll be fine.  Thanks."  He hung up and called the news program that was calling him an idiot again.  Then he went to find the one assigned to the white house.  "Yo."  She looked up, giving him a scared look.  "It's not earnings based?"

"Well... slightly.  Then you made a mention of liking some foreign things better than American ones."

"That's because some things fit me better."  She grimaced.  "I'm sorry but German guns fit my hand better.  The American ones are slimmer."

"We can go live with a comment time, sir."  She smiled.  "It would definitely help me get a promotion and maybe my own show."

"Are you going to quit remarking on how tight my ass is and whether or not I top?"

"Probably."  She smiled.

"Fine."  She set things up and called her news desk.  They got another economist on there with one of his to argue with them.  He settled into a chair, getting comfortable.   She gave him an odd look.  "I turned my ankle when I was jogging on the treadmill earlier."

She nodded.  "That's fine, sir."  She pointed.  "We're live."

"Can I get a screen showing them so I can argue with them while looking at them?"  She set that up.  "All right, as I was told by a few different sources, it was earning based.  That within a week things would be back to normal.  Was I told wrong?"

"Well, consumer confidence did plummet in some sectors since you said that you prefer some European and Eastern Bloc things," the other economist told him.  "Oh, there you are.  They finally got my screen fixed as well.  Mr. President, why did you go to him?"

"He helped John.  You guys all go to him.  He wrote books that made sense to me."

"Ah.   Yes, he's one of the talking heads you spoke of before."

"Hey!" the other economist, the one that helped Xander, complained.  "I've taught for many years and I've helped multiple presidents."  He looked at his screen.  "Yes, Mr. President, there has been a small drop but we know you stated a personal preference."

"I buy a great many American products.  Just not weapons and some leather gear like harnesses for my weapons.  A few cars because I like Volkswagen.   They seem to last and my guards said that one was safer and had better fuel economy."

"It does," the first economist agreed.  "Ours could but haven't really except some smaller cars.  In the larger sedan class like what you need for traveling it's Volkswagen or BMW basically."

"Ferrari has one but it's *real* expensive and I'm not that rich," Xander quipped.  "Or compensating."  They all snickered at that. "I've never met a ferrarri driver under forty-five, sorry if there are any."  He looked at them.  "I buy plenty of American things."

"Is your outfit for your wedding going to an American designer?"

"I have no idea.  Ezra handles all my fashion stuff.  He likes being the best dressed and neatest dressed person.  I like comfortable.  I'm told I'll look fantastic and like a god."  He smiled.  "His ring was Harry Winston and had been part of some American jewelry that had been remade as I later learned."

"Oh?" the commentator asked.  "We haven't seen a picture of that ring."

Xander smiled.  "That's up to him but it is very pretty on his hand.  Suits him very well."  He looked at the economists.  "So, what do I need to be doing?  Mine," he said with a point.  "Told me to let it handle itself."

The other one shook his head.  "I would say that we do need to boost spending a bit in the communal sector of society.  Durable goods.  Things that will last."

"Okay, so like before when I suggested that we push remodeling to up the value of the houses we own and yet still spend on things that will last for ten or more years?"

"That would help," he agreed.  "And that was an ingenious plan that did actually help."  He stared at him.

Xander considered it.  "Then why don't we start offering companies that stay here, build here, sell things at a reasonable price here, a way of being repaid?  Say, you quit moving your companies overseas to save money and keep people working, we give you a five percent break on your taxes?"

"That's not much," his economist admitted.

"For some businesses that is a lot.  IBM would have millions in that.  But you're talking about the mid-level manufacturing jobs."  Xander nodded.  "That might help.  Have you been thinking about that?"

"For over a year."  He shifted.  "Sorry, I twisted my ankle earlier when I was jogging in the gym and I've got it elevated."  He looked at his economist.  "You're thinking what?"

"Well, there is one group that spends a lot.  You did raise their taxes."

"I'm not going to lower those.  I'm sorry but I'm not going to tax the poor to cover the rich's asses."

"Um, no swearing please, sir," the commentator asked politely.

"Sorry.  Now and then one slips out."  He looked at them again.  "They're still spending.  Or didn't you see the shopping spree of the century covered on ET the other night?"

"You watch ET?" the other economist asked with an odd look on his face.

Xander smiled.  "Yeah.  That's how I find out what people are saying about me and how hard I have to complain about the relationship rumors or questions."  Both dogs got let in by Ezra.  "Hi, guys."  They climbed up and he groaned but petted them until they sat beside him again.  "Bored?"  They barked.  He looked up with a smile.  "I also think that perhaps we should talk to companies that do produce lower level of quality goods.  If you're making stuff that's going to be destroyed within a day, why are you doing that?"

"Usually they're fads," the good economist admitted.

"The drywall thing from China was a fad?"

"No," he said.  "Are you worried about jobs?"

"I'm worried that we can start another slope.  I don't want that on my watch."  He petted them then looked up again.  "I'd like to keep as many jobs as humanly possible in the US."

"I agree," his economist said.  "They're staying?"  Xander nodded.  The reporter on that side went outside to sneeze.

"Sorry," Xander called.  "Didn't know you were allergic."

"I'm not, sir, I have a cold."  She blew her nose and took something for it before coming back in.

Xander looked at the screen again.  "What do I need to do, or to say to help people understand it's not a crisis?  Because if we're heading to a crisis let's stop it now."

"We do need to keep jobs and spending steady and possibly increased," the good economist admitted.

"That's easy, pretty soon we'll have winter and the usual 'stuck indoors' babies will start coming so shopping will pick up in the spring, right?  Plus the holidays?"

"Yes," he agreed.  "That is a major reason for spending, both of those."  He stared at him.  "If we gave people a reason to shop beyond the holidays it may help."

Xander considered that.  "Well, I won't beg for wedding gifts," he said dryly.  "We're asking that people donate in our names instead."  That got a dual set of smiles.  "But... what about offering a first year of marriage small tax incentive?"  They both gaped.  "All the conservative buttholes on tv complain that marriage is being eroded.  Half of them think I'm hot enough to make everyone gay and get divorced to find a nice, tight soldier of their own."  The commentator coughed to hide his snickering.  He was one of them.  "So let's offer a small tax break for the first year of marriage?"

"That may help," the good one agreed.

"How much?" the commentator asked.

"Say, one percent of the wedding budget back?  So those who buy the seven grand dresses are getting back a lot.  Maybe with an extra five hundred credit with the regular taxes?"

The commentator put that up on the screen.  "How much is your wedding costing?"

"So far... I think about thirty thou.  Including all the tents, the clothes, the flowers, his ring's not included.  I spent nearly fifty large on his ring so he'd look so wonderful."  He smiled a goofy grin.  "There's that show on TLC that shows a wedding boutique."

"There's two actually.  One's in Atlanta and one's in New York," the other economist said.  "My wife watches them.  He's right, most wedding dresses start at thirty-five hundred for something more than cheap or really plain and go up to fifty thousand from there."

"Some socialite bragged hers for her two week wedding was about eighty since she had went high couture," Xander said.  "The cost of the rental of the church, the minister's fees, the license fees, all that, even if you're on a really tight budget, can still be in the thousands if you include the reception.  I've seen weddings done on two hundred bucks but not that many."

"My sister-in-law went to Las Vegas for hers.  The wedding itself cost about three hundred, the few people who went did a buffet for the reception so that was about two hundred, her dress was four thousand, and the flight plus rooms for the weekend were about another three hundred," the reporter locally said.  "She's one that could use that five hundred for the first year of marriage credit if you did decide to do it."

The commentator nodded.  "That sounds more reasonable than seven thousand for a dress."

"Buffy's dress cost her about two grand," Xander said.  "It was plain, simple, a more formal dress than a wedding dress."

"Hmm.  Interesting.  I don't think anyone caught sight of her dress."  Xander smirked but shook his head.  "You were there?"

"Yeah."

"Huh."  He considered the economics of it, putting that on the screen.  "That doesn't sound like a lot."

"No, but five hundred of taxes you don't have to pay can be a lot for families that need it and they would probably use it to buy something they've been wanting," the good economist said.

Xander nodded.  "Or pay down debt, which would help as well."

"True," the commentator said.  "Why do you rely on advisors so much, Mr. President?"

"Because I never even took an econ class," he said dryly.  "I can say things that make sense to me; it's up to my advisors to tell me if I make sense to others."  He petted the dog, cooing at the one panting at him.  She settled back down.  He smiled again.  "I've never claimed to be perfect, an expert, nothing like that."

"True, you haven't.  That's actually a refreshing change.  You and the two before you have been quite a change for the usual politics."

"That's because we're not born, bred, lifetime politicians."

"True."  He looked at the economists.  "Would something like that really push up spending enough?"

"I think it will give a nudge," the good economist said.  "Right now we only need a nudge.  We're not on that slope he spoke of.  We're nowhere near it, but things are slowing down before the holidays and that's not a good idea.  We need that holiday spending or some stores could be in fiscal trouble.  Then we'd see some lost jobs and other complications we don't really want to get near again."

Xander's economist nodded.  "That does make sense and it is a good time to put that through.  There's a tax bill right now."

Xander shook his head.  "The tax bill has a few fatal flaws.  Even if part of it is needed, there's three riders attached that we can't really put into law and one that if we do it'll cause all sorts of problems.  I'd like to see them taken off but no one's listening to me at the moment."

"What sort of problems?" the commentator said.

"One of them is a massive bill to start ...  Rider 32."  The commentator pulled that up and shuddered.  "Exactly.  Even though we need the tax bill part of it, and two provisions need to be cut, we can't let the riders go through right now."

The economists saw that rider and one gave him a horrified look.  "Who did that?"

"I think Mr. Wyoming sponsored it.  I can't remember his name right off the top of my head."  Xander looked at the camera.  "Of course, he's the one that wanted to give any educational or religious institution a grant every year too."  He smiled.  "Which won't go through either.  I'd have to fight that.  They're already tax exempt and those that don't do charity work seem to earn a whole lot."

The commentator laughed.  "The bigger churches with the ministers who live in gaudy mansions and say they do charity work?" he asked.

"Yes, them.  I'm all for people finding faith if it suits them and they want to.  I'd never push anyone's belief structure in front of another.  There's ones I don't get.  Them usually.  A few others."  That got a smirk and a nod.  "I know, we've been at odds since the people wrote me in as the VP.  It's not my fault they all think my mother was so drunk she slept with Satan."  The commentator did laugh at that.  "One said that.  Another few have used her as examples of why you don't drink, you get kids like me."  He shook his head.

"Anyway, back on topic."  His economist snickered.  "I was thinking about tying religious tax exemption to charitable works.  I'm not sure if that's legal but I've been thinking about it.  I would leave an out for any church that could prove it was in financial distress.  One that was on the edge of bankruptcy because it ran a school or needed massive repairs, the congregation doesn't give them enough to do anything with.  That sort of church."

"I think that would be controversial," the commentator said.

"I think it'd bring in millions in taxes," the good economist said, getting a nod from Xander and the other one.  "They'd hate that."

"I know," Xander agreed.  "I've had some very unpopular tax-the-really-expensive-things ideas that they hated forever and ever.  Then again if I can afford to drop fifty large on Ezra's ring, then I should be able to pay the tax on it, and if I'm really that wealthy that I'm not counting the taxes, then why would I care?  I can brag I paid more for it."

The commentator shook his head.  "I know you grew up in California during the age of greed, President Harris, but most people don't think that way."

"Most of them don't need to spend a mil on clothes," Xander shot back with a smirk.  "Why would it bother them?"

"True," he admitted, thinking about that.  "Why was his ring so expensive?"

"The diamond."  He smiled.  "If he ever lets anyone see it, it's beautifully crafted yet classical."

His economist smirked.  "You just want him to show it off."

"Not if he doesn't want to.  Though I have heard that some entertainment anchor on a certain news network pout out a hundred grand bounty for a picture of the full thing."

The commentator snickered.  "I heard about that and our bosses yelled at him, sir."

"I thought he was paying it out of his pocket."

"He thinks you want to show off that you have taste after all."

"I have a wonderful eye for beauty.  Look at what I'm marrying.  He's the most beautiful ever."  Ezra smirked at him from the doorway.  "Doesn't he conform to the Greek ideal of the perfect man?"

The commentator sighed.  "He's very well spoken, fashionable, and an agent."

"He's very well read.  He explained Plato to me the other day for a bedtime story."  He grinned at Ezra.

"Of course you can have both the cakes I brought back, Xander.  Let me have the dogs?"  The dogs followed him off.  Ezra waved his ring hand back through the doorway.

Xander grinned at that bit of theatrics.

"Was that his ring?" the economist asked.  Xander smirked and nodded.  "That's... actually it fits his hand perfectly and matches his other one."

The commentator looked at him.  "Rerun that, see if we can get a picture."  A fuzzy one went up onto the screen.  "Hmm.  Center diamond.  Two rubies, platinum?"

Xander smirked and nodded.  "You can donate that hundred thousand to an animal shelter or somewhere that helps homeless children please."  He got up and walked off.

The commentator smirked.  "I can do that, Mr. President."  He looked at the economists.  "Let's get back on topic.  Will those tax breaks really help?"

The local reporter turned off their feed, smirking at the president's bit of theatrics.  She had caught a glimpse of the ring one day in the halls.  It was worth the fifty thousand he had dropped on it.

***

Chris moaned when he saw the grainy picture of the ring and the story that went with it.  "Why can't some starlette get into trouble?" he complained.  Vin snickered from the chair.  "They're going to start bugging us for information on Ez again."

"No they won't.  Maude tried to give an interview until Ezra slapped her with a restraining order and proof that if she did, she was going to jail for fraud and burglary charges thanks to some of her former men."  He sipped his beer.  "It's good to see Ez hasn't lost his sense of the dramatic."

"They need to come out for some quiet time soon," Chris complained.  "His horse is edgy."

"They snuck out this morning," Vin told him.  "Woke me when Ez's gelding bit him and he yelped."

Chris smirked.  "He was feeling ignored?"

"No, like his master, they got him up too early."  Chris snickered at that, shaking his head.  "Companion trotted around looking pretty, not letting Xander saddle him until they switched for a bit.  So even their horses agree they belong together."  He finished his beer and put it on the table then sat back again.  "I wonder how bad the wedding is going to be."

"Not bad from what I've seen.  It's a short hike from the house though.  Ez was talking about hiring a carriage and horse to cart people out there after we cleared them through security."

"He might need two," Vin said.  "Though the date is supposed to be pretty by all estimates.  If not, we can clear security in the house and let them wait in there with some stuff to nibble on."

"That's not a bad idea."  He texted that to Ezra's phone, getting back a 'I'll discuss that with him later'.  "They're going to eat, have sex, then talk."

"Probably," Vin agreed dryly.  "It's been weeks.  They've been together a long time."

"They didn't get that physical until the night Xander got elected.  They were hiding from the results in the tack room after some clubbing.  I walked in on them being naked the next morning.  They had kept the horses up."

Vin laughed.  "They should've hit the hayloft!"  He bent over to continue laughing.

Chris nodded.  "Might've been quieter.  At least they didn't use the equipment for anything."  Vin fell out of his chair.  Chris smirked at him.  "JD needs to hear that too so he can wait on his girl.  If he ever gets off his ass and asks her out."

Vin nodded.  "Maybe."  He settled himself back in the chair.  "All those idiots on tv think they got together their first weekend."

"No.  Once they were dating, Xander quit going to the easy access club and went somewhere safer.  Somewhere Ezra could go with him."

"Huh.  That's real love, holding off for a year."

"Means they settled their relationship early on and it won't break out into bad fights later," Chris told him.

"Hopefully.  I'd hate to see them both be pouty at the same time.  It's weird seeing Ezra drinking cocoa."

Chris nodded quickly.  "Gets worrying too."  He finished his beer and got up to get them another.  It was a nice, quiet night in.  Thankfully!

***

Ezra looked at Xander.  "Some nosy sorts want you to do an interview with someone popular."

Xander shrugged.  "I heard.  Chuck thinks it'd be a good idea too.  I think I'll get nagged about it.  Plus I don't really like Barbara Walters.  She seems kinda... non mushy."

"There are other reporters.  Including some of the entertainment ones."

"They're busy with award season.  I had Chuck set it up with someone nice."  Ezra smirked at him.  "I know, I'll have to dodge relationship, sex, and lifestyle questions."

"They probably want to ask you about your parents."

"They already did a long documentary on them, including finding them and asking them questions, both drunk and sober."

"I saw.  You do look more like your mother."  Xander smirked at him for that.  He patted his wrist.  "What else were we dealing with today?  You said you needed some non-guarding time."

"I could use some peace and quiet.  Now I understand why Regan scheduled a nap every day."  He yawned.  Ezra smiled, letting him sleep on the couch for now.  He yawned again.  "Figure out if we're doing anything to the house?"

"I think we should probably paint it and finish the renovations."

"They're nearly done from what I've heard.  Buffy was supposed to be checking for me."

"Chris went out and said there's no workmen there, nothing is anywhere near finished, and do we want those disgusting portable bathrooms brought out for the wedding?"

"Better than digging a trench?"

"True.  We can camouflage them with another tent or something."  He made that note and found the notes from Chris.  He was at home and trying to figure out what was going on with the renovations.  There was no way he had stopped paying for it.  Ezra had carried out the last check himself.  If they had to, they could sue the contractor and find another one he supposed.  Plenty of people would love to do that sort of work because they could brag on it.  "Why are we putting in a gourmet kitchen?"

"You like to cook?" Xander muttered.

"True.  It's very lavish for the style of the house though."

Xander looked at him.  "It'll all be bricks and wood mostly."

"Ah!"  He nodded, looking over the pictures.  Xander looked over so he showed him.

"Remind me to find the fucker and gut him?"

"Definitely."  He went back to it and sent that order at Chris.  He could verbally flay someone and then scowl at them.  It would save bloodshed.  Chuck knocked then opened the door, letting in the Speaker for the House.  "He's having a slight headache.  Do I need to leave?"

"No.  Just a few questions."  Xander blinked at him.  "Should you have your shoes up there?"

Xander looked then at him.  "They're the slippers I wear around here when I'm not going out."  He kicked them off, earning a smirk.  "What sort of questions?  I'm trying to pretend to be Regan."

The older man snickered.  "I can understand that.  Have you heard about what the senate passed today?"

"No, Evan's off today for a speech at the Air Force Academy.  None of my spies have checked in."  Ezra changed screens and shook his head.  "No emails either.  What's going on?"  He sat up with a groan.

"The senate is pushing a measure to confiscate your ownings, and any future president's residences, as historical sites."

"They can't claim my birth home.  It's sucked into the hole that was the hellmouth in Sunnydale."

"They're talking your present one since you bought it with your public supported salary."

"Then they can do it to all their houses because they do the same thing."

"Ah, but they're not historical," Ezra said dryly.

"The way it's written, that is a point," he said.  "It's attached to the new spending bill you wanted."

Xander smirked.  "Who?"

"Wyoming in revenge for suggesting we take some tax exemptions from churches who don't do charitable work and not remembering his name."

Xander nodded, smirking more evilly now.  "That's fine, then his megachurch of choice also will be since it's public sponsored.  Not like the church pays for it out of anything but donations."  The Speaker gaped, looking horrified.  "They're supposed to serve the public as well, right?"

"Yes, sir.  That's devious."

"No, I'm cranky," Xander assured him.  "You can spread around I'm now cranky.   You can also spread that if it comes to me with that rider I will make sure that every demon in his state votes for the other guy this upcoming election.  I can go campaign beautifully among them and not even need guards."  The Speaker laughed, walking out nodding.  "Chuck, find out who's running against the guy from Wyoming?"

He leaned in a minute later.  "She's a hardline republican.  There's no democrat running.  She's the sort you hate."

Xander considered it.  "Huh.  Is she nicer?"

"She hates you.  She's spread a lot of anti-gay messages."

"Which means I'd hate her.  Hmm.  Is it too late to slip in someone?"  Chuck shook his head slowly.  Xander called someone from his personal phone book.  "Run for office in Wyoming?  Democrat.  Yes, against both of them."  He smirked.  "You're good for the people, you've kept peace in their major city, all that, for years.  You're behind the peace accords between the local Native Americans and the settlers.  Yes all that.  Because they're annoying the fuck out of me, that's why.  Or else Ezra and I are moving to your city."  The guy shuddered.

"Thanks."  He smiled.  "Hey, she's anti-gay and won't work with Congress.  He's working against Congress and just introduced a rider on an important bill to claim everyone's house if they're funded by the public.  Exactly."  He smirked at Chuck.  "Thanks, man.  Sure, I'd back you.  You know that.  I'm in awe about how you've kept peace and quiet up there, even with the paranoid groups and militias.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "There'll be someone else running," he told Chuck.

"Human?" he asked.

"No."  He smirked.  "He's the reason that the last six treaties were created.  He's kept the peace out there no matter how comes out.  He's worked for the community for *ages*.  He doesn't care if someone's gay or not as long as they're consenting.  The only thing they can get him on is that his species has multiple wives but he's only got one after one died recently."

"That'll be contested but he might win against those two," Chuck said, going back to his desk.

Ezra coughed.  "We'd move to Wyoming?"

"Yeah.  They want Chris to head the regional office there.  You didn't hear that gossip?"

"I heard he went to growl at our Director.  Again."

"Yeah.  They offered him the LA office a few weeks back."

"No, I don't believe he'd go for that very well."  He smiled, letting Xander kiss him.  "Do soothe that headache before you go from simply mean to truly evil."  Xander nodded, laying down again.  He went to tell the press secretary to spin that particular rider so it was counted as ridiculous and voted off the important bill.  They needed that little bit of spending encouragement right now.

***

Xander walked out into the rose garden, looking nicely casual but in good clothes Ezra had made him put on.  He did look hot and very nice today.  He smiled, looking at the press corps.  "It's a short one," he said.  They all grinned at that.  He didn't make long speeches by any means.  He went over his points for the rider that was annoying him, including how that would mean all public servants would lose their homes, especially all of Congress.

A few snickered at that subtle 'don't screw with me, I'll make you miserable' and then announced he was adding three new roses bushes to the heirloom collection in the rose garden.  He took them back to see them.  They all liked them and said he had good tastes.  They went to spin that speech and the conservative news channels could blabber about it for days.  That rider was going to die.  Quickly.

He had made sure that any of them that got seized would go on auction to Habitat for Humanity and for the local housing authorities to use for poor people.  The rich hated poor people in their homes if they weren't working for them.  The really influential one in California had bragged for weeks about his new ranch.  He had mentioned it specifically as being a good place to put a new housing development for the poor that needed out of the city due to health reasons.  By the time he got inside, the Senator from California was in his office.  Xander smiled at him.

"Fine, we'll kill the rider."

"Thank you."  He shook his hand.  "He's got a lot of competition."

"I heard there's a demon running?"

"He's been in control of the territory to keep it peaceful for over two hundred years.  He can point out a lot that he's done and I'd rather see him in Congress than the one presently serving or his anti-gay zealot opponent."

He smirked at him.  "You're back in 'don't screw with me' mode," he said happily.

"Oh, so much.  Especially since he's going to be really unhappy.  Pastors have the same public created paychecks because their churches run on donations.  He likes that one mega preacher idiot who likes to use me as an example of why we're all going to hell.  Though I do think it was nice that one of the baptist demon churches, which are *so* much more strict, showed him what hell actually looked like because he was describing it wrong."

The senator snickered.  "I wondered why he changed his description.   Thank you for being subtle."

"Evan's not in so I had to play again."

"I understand fully, sir.  We'll kill that rider before I have to surrender my new farm to a whole bunch of elderly poor people."  He left looking very smug.  He'd have to look that demon up.  He didn't like demons but if that guy was that good, he wanted to know more about him and possibly be cautiously hopeful he won.

Xander smiled at the person waiting on him with Chuck.  "The fitter," he said.

"Yes, sir."  He smiled.  "Your assistant was very helpful about some things."

"Chuck's a great guy and I adore Chuck.  We're stealing Chuck when I leave.  Unless Evan needs him."

"If you're both out, I'm going to be going back to the city," Chuck said smugly.  "The colonel is grousing he can't find anything."

"Then maybe he should quit hiding and date?  It might make him less scatterbrained."  Chuck walked off snickering.  Xander took off his jacket, letting the guy measure him every which way.  Even his crotch.  Xander stared at him oddly.

"So we know how much room to give you, sir."

"About eight inches," Xander said.  "And about four around."  The fitter smiled at that.  "I used to do carpentry.  I can measure some things by sight."  The fitter laughed and nodded.  "So how soon before we have one that I need to be poked with pins for?"

"Another month.  Then the final fitting a month before hand in case there's any weight or muscle fluctuations."

Xander grinned.  "The month before is a short apocalypse in Cleveland."

"Oops.  Well, we'll come after that."  He noted that down.  "Agent Standish was letting you pick the fabric."  He let him have the samples they had narrowed it down to.  "These aren't in the colors, just the fabrics.  He's already picked the colors."

Xander felt each one then arranged them and did it again.  He shifted one to the front, fingering two.  He pointed.  "In that order."

"Okay.  I'll let him know."  He put things back, the stack in order.  "Now, will we be changing into another suit for the reception?"

"No, not unless Ezra wants to."

"Not that he's said, we were just making sure."

Xander shrugged.  "I don't think so.  It's not like it's heavy dress."

"True."  He wrote that down.  "Let me get these back to our shop, sir, and we'll see you in about a month for the first fitting."  He shook his hand and gathered his case to leave.  Chuck walked him out to where Ezra was waiting.  He picked the second fabric selection, it was the stronger one and felt softer.  It would nicely flow over yet highlight their muscles.  He went back to the airport to fly back to the shop.  His designer was so pleased with this commission.  They could do look-alike suits for the winter line too.  They had asked for privacy, not secrecy.

***

Xander sat down across from the reporter.  They were doing the interview at the farm for safety reasons.  She wasn't going to say that, just that they were borrowing a friend's house for security reasons.  He got comfortable and made sure he could sit still for a while.  He knew none of his interviews had ever went fully according to plan but maybe this time's would be all right.

The reporter checked the camera angles and nodded at her camera guy before sitting down and making sure she looked good.  The camera guy pointed when he started the filming.  "Thank you for sitting down with me, Mr. President.  It's an honor since usually you go to the less celebrity centered news people."

"I don't like Barbara Walter's style.  I'm used to fussy women and she's a bit like my grandmother, who used to scare the crap out of me.  I'm sure she's nice but I'd probably end up flashing back and that's not good."

"No, it's not.  So, um, Mr. President....."

"Xander," he corrected with an easy smile.  "For this interview."

"Thank you for that honor, Xander.  Let's get the questions most celebrity news people would ask out of the way.  Are there any wedding details you want to slip out?"

"Ezra has made me an addict over the guy who's doing our cakes."  He smiled.  "Every time he has to go back to Denver he sends me a mini cake to feed my habit."  He smiled.  "He spoils me rotten."

"What flavor?"

"Sorry, can't divulge that," he offered with a grin.  "Others might try to feed my habit to take me from him."

"Chocolate?   I know it's said you like chocolate."

"Partially."

She smiled.  "The suits?  Or are you doing a formal one and wearing tuxedos?"

"Suits."

"From your usual designer?"

"No, we went with a one-of-a-kind one.  Someone we've never worn, or at least I haven't worn before, and that way it'll be more special.  Armani is for daily things for Ezra but we wanted something that we'd probably look back and sigh about but not wear again."

"That's a sentimental idea," she assured him.  "Honeymoon?"

"Yes."

"Taking a trip?"

"No."  He grinned again.  "We're going for peace and quiet on our honeymoon."

"That's wonderful, you could probably use it."  Xander nodded quickly.  "Have the reporters gotten bad again?"

"They've been camping out in front of the White House.  They've given the wedding a cutesy name.  It's like *way* overblown for anyone but us."

"You are the first gay president."

Yeah.  Still way overblown.  I've had letters from kids in other countries that want us to post pictures of the wedding so they can do reports on it.  It's kinda...humbling in a way and kinda freaking me out in others."

"Are you going to put some up?"

"Very few."

"A lot of celebrities award an exclusive contract for those special occasions so they only have to deal with one set of reporters."

"No.  No reporters on our wedding day or during the honeymoon.  Please no reporters during it.  All that attention makes us nervous, not only because you guys have been used as cover for a subtle attack, but because you guys shout rude questions at us and make Ezra blush sometimes.  You guys even made Agent Larabee blush last week."

"I saw that.  It was adorable."  She smiled.

"We were near a school and she shouted out questions about our sex life."

"That was in bad taste," she agreed.  "She got reprimanded for it when the letters of complaint came in from the parents."

"I chastised her there because of the kids.  Plus you guys make everything we do a...spectacle and it's amazing but not that amazing.  I don't understand it.  John was prettier and you guys didn't plague him that way."

"If he had been dating, we might have."

He shook his head.  "I hope not.  Some of the reporters are like creepy stalkers.  I expect to open up my closet and find one of them or their cameras some day."  He smirked.  "Which would then let Agent Larabee and Agent Gibbs break bad and show how mean they can be while I go whine at Ezra."

"Sorry but you are newsworthy."

"You guys aren't going to keep this up after the wedding, right?"

"Maybe now and then."

"Please don't?" he begged, giving her the puppy eyes.  "Pretty please?"

She sighed in pleasure.  "We'll try."  He grinned and she felt her stomach tense then made herself relax and ignore the wet panties she had.  "Onto other topics.  Have you talked to your parents?"

"Not since before Sunnydale fell in.  I never went back after I finally got to move out."

"If they suddenly got sober, would you grant them another chance?"

"No.  Because frankly they wouldn't want it.  They decided that my birth was the drain plug being pulled on the pool of their lives.  They were drinking before then but not as hard.  They clearly didn't want me.  I'm not going to put myself through the emotional hell to rehash things if they go to therapy.  I moved on.  I'm healthier for it and rehashing it won't help me any."

"Have you talked to your lover about his mother?"

"Very few times."  He sighed.  "I talked to her the day before he came home that last time.  She was giving the former director of the ATF bribes to keep Ezra in bad cases that could have killed him with the attention you guys gave him during his guarding term."  She gaped and dropped her pen.  He picked it up for her and handed it back.  "She told me that Ezra had went back to Denver as a subtle way of telling me that we were through and I should move on.  That he was never actually in love with me.  That he was using me in fact, and had done it as his duty."

"Oh, my," she said quietly.  "Have you talked to her since she said that?"

"No.  He did that once to tell her to go away and never come back.  I think she's sent a letter but I'm not sure if they're even back on those terms.  I'm not sure if they will be.  That's something to ask Ezra.  I can only support him and make sure he's all right emotionally if they do decide to talk again."

"So, she did that because she didn't want her son to be gay?"

"Ezra's mother is...complicated.  She's not like gaybashing because we're together.  She's more 'Ezra shouldn't fall in love, he should play the field and amass status and wealth from it'."  Ezra had told him to put it that way.  It was subtle but the truth.

"Interesting.  You don't think they'll reconcile?  Most mothers would love to have their sons married off to someone as nice as you are."

He shrugged.  "I'll be there if Ezra needs my support when or if they work on that stuff.  I can't tell the future that way.  I only have visions of attacks and battles."

She smiled.  "That has to hurt."

"All visions hurt.  Everyone I know with them say they're a pain in the head."

"Aww.  There's others?"

"Yeah, a few other hunters, the slayers get them but they tend to get dream ones.  They wake up with the headache."

"Huh.  That's interesting."  She looked at her notes then at him again.  "Who's your maid of honor?"

"No one.  We're not having any attendants so neither of us has to pick."  He grinned.  "It'll just be us and the Justice of the Peace."

"So not a religious ceremony?"

"No.  We've had a blessing ceremony with a coven I've worked with in the past.  That's as close as I really get to religion unless I'm complaining to the Goddess.  She seems to listen and understand."

She smiled.  "We've heard you complaining to her in the halls of the white house a few times."

"It's very cathartic.  Much better than a heavy bag or wishing a lion into Congress."  He smirked.

"That might be bad."

"With the way some of them have acted in the past.... not really.  There were plenty of days when things got that annoying from the childish crap."

"I'm told that you're pushing for a demon candidate in Wyoming?"

"Yes.  I've met with him in the past.  His son was one of the ones keeping the peaceful demon problems in Sunnydale down.  We met with his son a few times when the ones hiding there had problems.  His father is a really nice guy.  He's kept peaceful things going in his territory for ages.  He's helped broker peace treaties, he's helped settle disputes, he's kept the humans and native demon populations protected when something came nearby.

"He lost his wife and daughter to a hunter that was taking out the peaceful ones.  He went to a slayer to get them stopped instead of having them stopped another way."  She shivered.  "He's always believed in peace and the prosperity of his people.  He was one of the first to apply for citizenship so he could tell his people how it worked and what to do.  He's been a legal and illegal resident so he understands both sides.

"I think he'll do very good.  He's not going to stir trouble up just to watch it go.  He's not going to be a polarizing force for more than being demonic.  He's a very good thinker and planner.  I want guys like him to run the enclaves and safe havens because they do it the right way.  I never have to worry about him doing something that will harm anyone else.

"Yeah, I want him over the one that's trying to split the Senate before an important vote.  The guy who's destroyed some long lasting alliances by his petty tantrums and plots.  The other one running there is almost like a Nazi.  We don't need that as a people.  Yeah, I know people are going to be worried because he's a demon.  He's a very peaceful demon, from a peaceful species who's used to ruling enclaves and safe havens."

"So, if he was human he'd be a perfect person to take the seat and he'd do good.  You're saying that him being from a peaceful demon clan means the same thing?"

"Basically."  He smiled.  "I know it's a lot for some people to think about and I know there's been some increased agitation against demons.  He's settled his people into a safer place to move on from.  It's been years since they came into the open.  I think it's about time they take responsibility for the country they live in too.  They have to live and work here, pay taxes, raise families here, all that.  They should have the same say."

"They should.  Do you foresee a demonic president?"

Xander shrugged.  "I don't have those sort of visions either."  She smiled at that.  "Maybe not this century.  We're still at the civil rights stage with demons.  Maybe early next century we'll have one."

"That would be interesting to see."  She glanced at her notes then at him.  "Do you have any regrets from taking the nomination?"

"You know I've said all along I shouldn't be doing this job.  I'm not trained for it."  She nodded.  "I do regret that it took me away from the slayers' side when some needed me.  Two of the girls I've personally trained have died since I got elected."  She swallowed.  "I miss the hell out of them every day.  They're like my little sisters."

He swallowed, looking down then at her.  "If I had been there I couldn't be sure it wouldn't have turned out the same way, including taking me out," he said quietly.  "I would've made sure they were saved even if it had meant my life.  But then I wouldn't have met Ezra and found some happiness that I wasn't really sure I was missing before."

"It's said that you nearly married someone else but left her at the altar.  Are you nervous about this commitment?"

"If her friends hadn't stepped in to show us how miserable we'd be in the future, how much she hadn't been able to fulfill in her life, then I would've married Anya.  She understood that I didn't want to see that future for her."

"So you walked away to give her the chance at finding happiness?" she asked.  He nodded. "Did she?"

"She got her old job back, which did make her happy, but she found her time as a human again had given her a conscience.  She wasn't as happy with the job she'd had for centuries.  We talked after that, a great number of times.  We moved back into a solid friendship and she was starting to see what she needed to be happy when the First's situation started.  Then she died during the final battle saving Andrew's life."

"Oh," she said weakly, staring at him. "Is that why he changed?  It has been said he was part of an evil group of geeks who wanted to rule the world?"

"Some of that happened earlier when he realized the methods one of the others wanted to use weren't great ones.  He's seen the dark before then, walked on the edge, but knows it'll suck him in and he'll turn into something he doesn't like so he doesn't go back there.  I think it was a good decision in his life and he's a great friend to have."

She smiled.  "You don't have many female friends?"

"Outside the slayers?"

"Outside them, yes."

"No, not really.  Why?"

"You see a lot of gay men being the best friend of some women who need the more male perspective."

He shrugged.  "The slayers dragged me shopping plenty of times.  I had a whole pack mule phase thanks to them.  I hate shopping because of it.  As long as I'm comfortable, I'm good.  Ezra and I fight over my wardrobe but he understands the nightmares I have about shoes attacking me from slings made of bras and panties."

She snickered.  "They made you their fashion approval committee?"

"Often.  They dragged me shopping for all sorts of occasions, including apocalypses."  He shook his head.  "They made me carry the bags, drive them around, approve of stuff that didn't make them look too trashy but still cute or hot, yet still this side of bad girl or slutty.  They never fed me when we were out either.  I was a very abused pack mule Xander."

She giggled.  "Is that why you don't care about your wardrobe now?"

"Yup.  Even before then I was all about the comfortable, easily cleaned from goo and stuff sort.  Thrift shops, all that.  I was usually found in baggy jeans and brightly colored shirts."

"Does Ezra allow that in your closet now?"

"He's taught me to match them with things."  He grinned.  "It works better."

"Do you think you'll wear that special suit for your second term's swearing in."

"To be honest, I'm not running.  If Evan wants to run, I'll stand behind him.  If not, we'll stand behind the best candidate that runs.  That way I can't screw anything up too huge that can't be fixed."

She smiled.  "You're doing better than you think.  That first year of marriage tax credit and the credit for the wedding expenses are well liked among the people in the industry."

"Thank you."  He smiled.

"How much is your budget so far for the wedding?"

"The suits are going to be fifteen grand I think, maybe twenty, I'm not certain.  We're at about... " He texted.  He grinned when he got an immediate answer back from Chuck.  "My assistant, who is *the* wonder assistant of the world, I'd be *so* lost without Chuck, said we're at thirty five thou outside of his ring.  We're looking at about seventy by the end of it including the charity event we're hosting a few weeks after we get back."  He put his phone back.

"You're hosting a charity event?"  He smiled and nodded.  "Right after the wedding?"

"Yes.  We have a wonderful charity event planned for one of the local children's hospitals."  He grinned.  "We're doing a wonderful dinner that night as a fundraiser.  Our favorite chef locally is doing the catering."

"Hmm.  Is that going to have a larger list of guests than your wedding?"

"It probably will.  We're inviting some and we'll leave some tickets open so others can buy a seat."

"That sounds nice," she said happily.  "Plus a very good thing to do.  You haven't hosted many dinners.  Only the one white house dinner."

He shifted some, grimacing.   "I'm not really certain what I'm supposed to do at those.  At first, I wasn't sure I got to actually eat instead of walking around like a restaurant waiter to make sure everyone was happy.  Thankfully I did get to eat some and talk to the people around me.  It went okay but I'm sure they said stuff about me not being totally comfortable with that stuff."

"They said you were a gracious, if a bit fussy, host.  That you did check on the others often, that discussions were lighter than usual, which they appreciated.  That you banned all politics during it."  Xander nodded quickly at that.  "You don't allow that?"

"Why ruin a good dinner with politics?"

"True," she agreed with a smile.

"We mostly talked about how mean some of you reporters were."

She laughed.  "Some of us can be because the industry is a shark pit at times to get the good stories and therefore noticed so we can move up to the higher profile jobs."

"I had one that snuck onto the white house's lawn and was taking pictures through the window."  She smirked.  "We had one, when my dog was shot at that one time, who kept snapping pictures even after the guards had to physically move her out of the way of harm.  They could've shot her easily and she was just snapping away like we were there to be her tourist attraction."

She nodded.  "I know her.  She is like that about big stories."

"Gibbs nearly smacked her on the head to impart sense."

"She needs it."  He smirked.  "She started out chasing accidents and disasters."

"Clearly."  He shifted again.  "Can we go back to the lighter topics again?"

"Definitely.  Are you getting a ring?"

"I don't know."  He smiled.  "I haven't heard a thing about it.  I figured we'd pick the wedding bands together sometime soon."

"So he got the engagement ring and you're just getting wedding bands?" she asked.  He nodded.  "Hmm.  Do you think he might surprise you?"

"Have we seen him ring shopping?" Xander asked.

"No, no one's seen him in the last week actually."

Xander smirked.  "He's had a slight cold so he's at his condo in bed.  I go over to baby him."

"Have you two had sex in the white house?"

He stared at her.  He blinked a few times.  "We've cuddled.  We've kissed.  We've groped.  We are dating.  It's not immoral to do that during the later dating times."

"How soon after you two started dating did you two have sex?"

"Our first night with actual intercourse instead of groping and touching, that lighter stuff, was the night I got elected president.  He was taking my mind off the election in the most beautiful way possible in a club and then we went to hide from the various forms of information in a friend's barn to play with the horses.  It wasn't decided or anything first.  Or else I would've brought him to a great hotel, had a huge bubble bath drawn for him, spoiled him absolutely rotten before and afterward.  It just kinda moved on and it was the right time.  It was wonderful."

She grinned a sappy smile.  "You waited almost a year?"

"Just over a year.  Our anniversary was the week before.  I spoiled him so rotten with spa time and snuck in to do his massage myself," he said with a sappy grin back.  "He came out so happy and then we went to dinner at his favorite place, where I had ordered a spectacular dinner that he had been wanting.  It was wonderful."

She grinned.  "Anniversary presents?"

"He ordered I was not allowed to."

"Did he give you one?"

"He bought the dogs new collars and tags."

"That's sweet.  I know your dogs are like your children.  Are you considering adopting?"

Xander shrugged.  "I have no idea.  We haven't really talked about it.  He hasn't mentioned he wanted kids.  I'm not sure I could handle little kids.  I'd probably treat them like the slayers I trained, which was like family but I'd have them training in self-defense pretty early.  So I'm not sure.  We'll talk about it after our first year together."

She nodded.  "That seems pretty sensible.  If he wants children, will you give in to him?"

"Yeah, if he wants a few kids, I'm all for that.  If he hates kids, then we'll adopt his friend's future kids as nieces and nephews to spoil them rotten.  Even if their parents complain."  She snickered.  "Drum kits were invented for complaining parents."  She cackled at that, shaking her head.  He grinned. "I can even give them African drums and other native drums for a diverse, world-ethnic sound experience."

She snickered.  "That's so bad."

"Thank you," he said with a grin.

"Your horse?"

"She's just fine in the barn.  She likes Agent Larabee's team's horses.   They're a herd together."

"That's wonderful.  Are you still riding with them?"

"Yup.  We have a ride planned in a few weeks.  We go every few weeks together and I get some riding time in every other day around the paddock."

"It's given you a different way of walking you started riding."

"It's definitely changed my posture and how my back relaxes."

She smiled.  "Who gave you your horse?"

He shrugged.  "No one knows for sure but the gifter.  I have my ideas," he admitted with a smile.   "But we can't prove it."

"That's good.  I've heard stories that some of your former boyfriends are being arrested?"

"Not just my former boyfriends but yeah."

"Did you date more than that one woman?"

"Yeah.  Cordelia was my ex.  I've dated a few different women.  They were just as dangerous and deadly."  He grinned.  "Some of them have sent wedding presents but I got told I had to send back the artillery one sent me."  She gaped.   He nodded.  "Yeah, a few have.  One tried to send me some blood diamonds and I sent them back."  He shifted to cross his feet.

"I sent back one that sent me drugged chocolates.  She also tried to take Ezra's team hostage to pout at him that we weren't together; that was during the whole he's back in Denver time.  Agent Larabee was not amused but she had diplomatic immunity so she went to Paris and bought us drugged chocolates.  That led to someone going to yell at her for us."

"What does she do?" she asked.

"She's an arms dealer," he sighed.  "I haven't heard from any of the assassins I dated yet.  I'm expecting a nice card mostly."

She blinked a few times.  "Is Ezra dangerous enough for you?"

He smirked at her.  "I didn't pick them.  I'm not usually the one that goes hunting for relationships but they all thought I was a prize worth hunting."  She blushed.  He grinned.  "Ezra's clearly better for me and more stunning than the others."

"Does he compare against Anya?"

"I don't make that comparison.  They're totally different sorts."  Cordelia started to appear then faded out.  He rolled his eyes at that.

"Could we talk to Cordelia sometime?"

"She doesn't come when called," he admitted.  "If you try, she might.  She doesn't come when I call."

Cordelia faded back in, staring at him.  "I'm not yours to call."

"I know that.  She wanted to talk to you."

She looked at the reporter.  "Not this week.  I'm kinda busy."

Xander stiffened slightly.  "Busy bad, busy good?  Busy with me?"

She smirked at him.  "No, you're getting chewed a new one for dating that skank in Asia!"

"She hunted me, not the other way around.  It was fun.  I left when I got tired of the fun.  Even if I did have to disable two of her guards to do it."

She blinked at him a few times.  The reporter was gaping in horror.  The camera guy gave her the sign that he was capturing it.  Cordelia tipped her head to the side.  "Have you ever went over your storage area?"

"No.  I was planning on moving it all to Denver when I got to move and then going through it on the bored days."

She nodded once.  "Yeah, not a good plan."

"Why?  Is something growing?  Or something alive that's trapped?"

"No, thankfully," she said with an evil smirk.

"Bomb going to go off?"

"No."

"Something I need for the wedding?"

"Perhaps.  Maybe some things some people are going to complain about.  Like from that one vacation trip to that beach...."  She trailed off, giving him a pointed look.

"That was long before I got elected.  Why would they complain?"

"Because they're politicians and are like that," she said dryly.

"They'd probably complain more about what I got for my birthday."

"Yeah, no doubt."  She smirked.  "By the way, the upcoming one?  Bring the birthday presents.  All of them.  You'll need them."  She faded out.

"Good to know," Xander agreed.  "I should've kept those wedding presents."  He shifted to look at her again.  "We'll talk about that with the senior slayers later."

"What did you find on that beach?"

He grinned.  "Actually, I found some buried treasure."  She gaped.  He grinned and shrugged.  "I tried to be a good boy and tell the locals.  They ignored it and told me to quit talking about it.  Said it was cursed.  Said to not put it back if I didn't want bad things to happen to me.  Even touching it was enough to cause bad luck.  So far I haven't had any."

She cleared her throat.  "Would they complain?"

"No.  I pulled the ambassador aside when I became VP to ask him about that.  He was surprised I survived the curse but figured the injury in that one battle was it and said I could keep it under national and international law.  He wished me luck.  Later on I told him about a few of my ex's that had been noted as being in the country.  He decided it was probably reversed and that's why I got someone so stunning as Ezra."

She nodded, hoping the bad mental images stopped soon.  "You said he explained Plato for a bedtime story?"

"Someone was quoting it in a speech and I didn't understand but it seemed to resonate so he went over the things I wasn't getting, which meant I didn't like it as much.  He sat next to me and read more to me, explaining the references I wasn't getting to Ancient Greece, and I fell asleep to him reading to me."

"Aww.  That's sweet."

He smiled and nodded.  "He can be very sweet.  He's the perfect man for me.  He's smart, well read, explains things when I don't understand but doesn't think I'm dumb because of it, he's great to me emotionally.  If we're having problems like being attacked he can help me defend us instead of being a fainter and going 'oh no'," he mimicked a higher pitched voice.  "Or trying to just out-macho and protect me all the time.  He lets me be as macho as I need or want to be and he does the same.  One of us doesn't have to be the so-called weaker one."

"So there's no real husband/wife split in your relationship?"

"Well, Ezra is a wonderful cook, but I think even that split in straight couples isn't all that pronounced these days.  We're just Xander and Ezra.  It works when we be ourselves.  I don't have to hide any of my personality, even on the bitchy days, and he doesn't either, even on his cranky days.  We just...work together."

"Is there a split in the bedroom?"

Xander stared at her.  "That's so a stereotype, dear."

"Sorry.  I know some that do split that way."

"Not all of us do."

"Sorry."  She smiled.  "Flowers for the wedding?"

"Yes, there will be some.  I need to meet with the florists next week to decide if we're doing centerpieces or individual sprigs on each plate."

"I've seen both done beautifully.  About how many people are coming?"

"We invited a hundred fifty, so possibly up to two hundred with dates."

"So a very medium sized wedding then.  Outdoor or a hotel?"

"Outdoor in tents.  It'll be very security conscious.  There will be no access to the area without an invitation.  We can block off the road to the site at the private driveway that's about a mile away from the wedding site."

"So that's going to be at your farm or somewhere else?"  He just smiled.  "Are you going to be blocking off flight lines overhead?"

"If at all possible.  Thank you for reminding me of that," he said with a grin.  She smirked back.  "I would hate to have to fire on any helicopters.  Or have my guards do that.  They won't get much anyway since there'll be tents."

"I'll make sure they know that."  She smiled back.  "Did you pick your colors?"

Xander nodded.  His phone rang with a text and he pulled it out to look at it.  "Chris said Ezra said I could tell you that much.  We picked silver and steel blue."  He put it back in his pocket.

"I wouldn't think with his green eyes that would go."

"He looks *so* hot in his suit," he assured her with that goofy grin.  "I feel so plain next to him sometimes."

She smiled.  "I can see why.  He is a very nice dresser and he has upped your own style as well."

"I suggested we marry in jeans and t-shirts on a beach and he tried to talk me into tuxes."

She laughed.  "So suits were the compromise?"  He smiled and nodded.  "Any hints on the reception dinner?"

"We will not be having a bar.  It will be a noon wedding, or about one.  We haven't picked an exact time.  The wedding won't be one of those dragging ones and we'll be doing dual tents if at all possible.  That way the one we marry in can be changed into the dance area and the reception can be set up ahead of time."  She smiled at that.  "Um...  We'll have a good wine to go with the lunch, it's not really a beer capable one."

"A signature drink?"

"No, I don't think so.  Neither of us are really drinkers and most of the people we know have a beer now and then but not really more than that."

"So a nice lunch?"  He nodded.  "Vegetarian options?"

He gave her a horrified look.  "I don't think any of the guests are and no one's sent back one with their RSVP.  The card did get included with the two options and a please tell us about any allergies section."

"That's what they normally are."  She smiled to make him relax.  "Side dishes?"

"Oh, yeah, of course, and an appetizer course too if I remember right.  I have to check on that."  His phone rang with a new text.  He read it.  "Chris said that there is one and it's a very nice one.  We only have two vegetarians that he knows of so we won't have any problems with cheese."  He put it back down.

"Chris would be Agent Larabee?"

"Yes.  He's guarding me today and all the guards have been alerted with all the plans so they don't have any security concerns for us."

"Have any of the bigger names in gay rights been invited?"

"I don't really know any of them.  We're inviting close friends, near family, those people.  If they want to help us celebrate our wedding but weren't invited, they can come to the charity event."

"You aren't worried that they'll complain about having to buy a ticket?" she asked.

"The tickets are going to be a hundred dollars a plate so that's about a nice wedding present's worth."

"That's about what I spent on my sister's wedding present," she agreed.  He grinned.  "So it's part second reception and part charity event?"

"It can be seen that way if you want," he agreed with a grin.  "It's also a way for anyone who wants to celebrate the wedding with us but wasn't invited can."

"Do you think some of this is being made over because we didn't get a huge white house wedding out of the O'Neill nuptials?"

He shrugged.  "I don't know.  I know you guys go stalker over celebrity weddings."  He grinned.  "The one last month got just about as much press attention."

She nodded after a second's thought.  "You're right, we did."  He smirked and nodded.  She grinned back.  "What do you think will happen after you leave the white house, either in two years or in six?"

"I'm going to hide.  John may have a better way of hiding but I'm so going to hide.  I'm going to become the ultimate house husband and sword sharpener for the slayers."

She giggled.  "You'll have to come out sometime."

He shook his head.  "No I won't."

"Even for dinners out?"

He considered it.  "Maybe for that but Denver's not as high profile so we can sneak around for a bit."  He grinned.  "Ezra said there's a few places he wants to introduce me to so I can drool and beg to go there for special dinners."  She went 'aww' again.  "Plus I'll have a really high fence to keep out reporters."  She cackled, nodding.  His phone rang.  "That's Chuck, excuse me."  He got up and walked off.  "Yeah, Chuck?" He listened.  "I can be there in about thirty."

"Call the chopper out if it's an emergency," Chris called from the kitchen.

"Chuck, send the chopper out.  Thanks."  He hung up and leaned back in.  "We're having a crisis moment, sorry."  He walked off, going to wait outside.  Chris helped the reporter and camera guy pack up their things and watched them leave.  They knew not to film the farm at all.  The chopper landed and Chris locked up, walking over to help Xander in and get in with him.  They flew back to the white house and they got out, heading inside.  The generals were waiting.  The two heads of Congress and Evan were waiting.  "Okay, what happened?  That was so carefully planned!"  He sat down and Chuck brought in drinks.

***

Later that night, Xander crawled in with Ezra, burying his nose in Ezra's shoulder to inhale his scent.  Ezra held him, stroking his back.  "We lost half a unit on something stupid that the locals were doing and didn't tell us," he said quietly.  "It was like they assassinated them for daring to let them do it on their own."

"Then we'll pull back harder so they have to take the responsibility for their actions," Ezra said.

"That can endanger everyone there."

"Xander, even if they're starving, they can walk out of the country," Ezra reminded him.  "You saw it in Africa when times got hard."  Xander nodded.  "Did you make the hard decision?"  Xander nodded again, snuggling in better.  Ezra held him.  The command decisions were not easy sometimes.  They would do what they had to together.  "Did you call that leader to complain?"

"Yup.  He said it wasn't his people's fault.  That we should've known they were going to be doing that.  That whole base is being pulled back.  This week."  He lifted his head.  "I won't let their lives be wasted.  I can't.  If I tell the people that, they'll cause problems.  If I don't, I'm saying that it meant nothing."

"You tell them.  The people will see that it's the right thing to do."

Xander nodded.  "We've got to give that tomorrow."  He snuggled in better.  Ezra held him all night, giving him what he needed.  That was all a spouse could do.

***

Xander walked out to the reporters the next day, looking around.  "Let's be serious, people," he said when he got smiled at.  "It's not a happy talk today."  He put his notes down and glanced at them then up.  He gave a good, stern, 'we've had enough now' speech.  The reporters were gaping in horror.  Hopefully that the 'accidental attack' had happened.  At the end, the reporters all clapped.  He stared at them, looking confused.  "What?"

"You sounded like a president, sir," one said with a smile.

He blushed but nodded.  "Sometimes it takes me a while to get in the right frame of mind."  He slunk back inside.  "They're weird today," he told Evan since he was watching.

"You did sound like the ultimate president though."  He clapped Xander on the back.  "The generals have the pullback announced to the troops.  There's going to be a lot of happy families."  Xander smiled at that.  "John would be proud too."  He walked him off.  "Steel blue?"

"We liked it.  We look good in it."

"Okay.  Suits for the guests?"

"Yeah."

"Bibs needed?"

"Only if you drool on me in my suit.  I didn't think you were that way, Evan."  They walked off together.

"I'm not, unless you come out with breasts of doom, Xander."  Xander punched him on the shoulder with a smile.  "You good with that?"

"I hate myself right now for what the people in that country will have to go through," he said quietly.  "But it couldn't go on."

"No, you're right to do this."  Xander nodded, relaxing again.   They walked into the oval office and a horn went off.  Xander looked around, looking confused.  "It's your birthday, dumbass," Evan quipped with an evil smirk.

"I haven't celebrated in years."

"You are now," Chris assured him.  Xander grinned and came over to blow out the candles on his cake.  It was nice to celebrate and Xander did need the relaxing.  They talked, ate, and all relaxed together.  Chuck took pictures for the press people so they could relax too.  It was a better day.

Wedded Bliss.

Xander walked around his farm in Denver.  The second contractor had done an excellent job finishing what the first had started until they had declared bankruptcy and shut down.  The kitchen had brickwork on two walls as accents, an old fire oven along with two modern ovens.  A big stove with a built-in grill beside it.  The fridge was built in and special order.  The kitchen was mostly open to the dining area.   The dining area had a beautiful table.

The living room was bare at the moment.  They'd be shopping for a few chairs and a couch for a waiting area out of a rental place.  The bedrooms were all closed off and empty right now.  The bathrooms worked.  The kitchen all worked.  Everything was beautifully finished outside of the front porch that needed a few last hours of work.  The guys were working on it right now.  Xander smiled when Ezra walked in.  "You thought it was going to look too un-ranchlike?"

He looked around the kitchen, nodding.  "It looks like a cabin in Aspen."  He took a hug, smiling.  "I do like it.  It's very comforting.  How are we decorating it?"

Xander shrugged.  "Comfortable stuff after we've got to find after the rental furniture for the wedding?  Stuff the dogs can hop up on."

"Definitely.  We can look for that shortly."  Xander grinned.  "Did you find somewhere?"

"I found a few things on a few sites but I don't think they go."

"We'll see on the honeymoon."  He winked and Xander grinned.  "We'll have to get a bed in here."

"Rental place," Xander said.  "Or...  There's a bed coming.  We can use it."

Ezra looked at him.  "Where is the bed coming from?"

"From a very old Southern house that is shutting down after a long run as a tourist spot," he admitted casually.  Ezra stared at him.  He grinned.  "It'll be here today.  We'll need a new mattress set though.  There's no telling who slept on it."

"You got the Carriage House's furniture?  I was bidding on some of that."

Xander grinned.  "I saw.  I did not get that one.  The Smithsonian got that one set.  I did get one of them though.  Possibly two.  She's deciding between two equal bids and will let us know later."

"You absolute snot," Ezra said with a smirk.  Xander grinned back.  He took a deep kiss, making Xander moan.  "I love you for being so nutty sometimes."  Xander grinned.  "Come along, let's look at the yard."  Thy walked back there together, Xander holding hands.  Ezra didn't mind this time.  Xander was nervous and needed a physical touchstone.  The tents were already up.  The floors were in place.  They looked around.  "It's smaller than I expected."

"It's much smaller than I expected," Xander said.  He looked around.  "Hello?" he called.  They were supposed to be here.  The wedding designer for the rental place came out.  "This isn't what we wanted."

She blinked.  "Yes it is, sir."

"No, we wanted beige," Xander said.  She pulled out the forms.  Xander took them to look at then at her.  "That's not our wedding."  He pointed at the address.  She moaned, calling the main office.  He looked at Ezra.  "Every wedding needs a crisis."

"It'll be a beautiful day," Ezra reminded him.  "We'll handle it."  Xander nodded, walking off with him.  "Did we reserve an extra tent to hide the garish portable necessities?"

"It was on the form," he said.  He smiled at Buck when they ran into him.  "Is the porch nearly done?"

"It is."  He looked at the tent.  "This isn't what you ordered."

"No, it's not," Ezra agreed.  "Can you...."  He waved a hand.

Buck grinned.  "Yes, of course.  I can sweettalk anyone, you know that."  He went to talk to the wedding designer, calming her down.   "Let's see what we can do."  She nodded, letting him handle the problem.  Clearly she was new.  Or drunk.  He wasn't sure which.

Ezra and Xander went to look at the other arrangements.  Just in case something else got mixed up with whatever wedding was going on across town.

***

The day of the wedding was here.  Ezra was at Chris's ranch to get ready.  He was staring at himself in the mirror ignoring his badly needed shave.  This was not what he had expected out of his life.  He hadn't really expected to get married.  Ever.  To find a lifemate that understood his darker nature yet didn't revel in it, but could help him stay out of it most of the time.  He didn't expect to be the supportive spouse when his husband needed it.  He took a deep breath.

Vin walked in without knocking, looking over Ezra's shoulder.  "You need a shave."

"I need a martini."

"He'll taste it on your breath during the kiss and worry."

"Maybe, I still need something for my nerves."

"If it helps, John said he's bouncing around there like he's eaten a ton of sugar.  We made sure he hasn't but he couldn't eat breakfast and he's looking like he's on a pogo stick.  He's twitchy, muttering to himself, all that."

"That does help," Ezra admitted.  "It means I'm not the only nervous one."

Vin handed him the razor.  "You need a shave."

"I do need a shave.  I look deplorably shabby again."  He put on some foam and watched his hand shake.

Vin grinned.  "Nathan, he's not going to be able to shave without ripping his face off."

Nathan brought in something.  "Here, it's herbal, it's a tea.  Drink it and it'll calm your nerves."  He took the razor to use after Ezra had drank his tea.  He could help him shave this time.  During his wedding, Josiah had to help him figure out how to button his shirt when he lost his mind.  He could return the favor.  Ezra sighed when it was done.  Nathan smiled.  "Showered, all that?"  Ezra nodded, checking to make sure.  "Then go stare at your suitbag."  Ezra went to his room.  JD had carried the important suits out so no one could see them.  "Are we sure he has the right suit?"

"Their names were on them," JD called.  "I'm pretty sure I read them right."  He stuck his head in.  "Doesn't his bag say Ezra on it?"  Vin looked and nodded.  JD grinned.  "John called Nathan for some valium for Xander."

Ezra let out a quiet chuckle.  "I feel the need for some chemical dependency myself."

"You have an hour, let's go outside," JD decided.  He and Vin walked out there.  Ezra inhaled the clean, cooler air.

Vin nodded JD to give them some space.  "Your mother might mind," Vin said quietly, leaning against the railing facing the house.  Ezra was looking at the barn.  "But I think it suits you to be goofy headed in love with the kid.  He makes you happy."

"He does," Ezra agreed.

"He makes you laugh."

"That too."

"He makes you squeal at night, and you'll finally be able to sleep with him at the ranch."

Ezra looked at him.  "That is not really a consideration at this point."

Vin grinned at him.  "It might be for Chris and the rest of us who won't sleep when he makes you groan, scream, and wiggle."

Ezra smiled.  "Those are fun nights."

Vin nodded.  "If you don't get dressed, they're gonna end and he's gonna be devastated."

"I know.  I would be as well," he admitted quietly.

"Then you're underdressed, Ez."

"I am," he agreed, going to change.  He went to take another shower because now he was nervous and sweaty.  Then he went to dry off and change.

***

Xander was bouncing around his room, listening to the people being cleared through security and let out to the carriages for the ride to the tent.  He heard a lot of 'this is very pretty' comments and grinned.  It had been his design.  He was still too nervous and bouncy.

"Shower," John ordered from his seat on the bed, sitting against the headboard.  "Now."

Xander nodded, going to pace in the shower.  It was almost big enough to give him a few steps.  He did manage the shower and came out shaking and twitchy instead of bouncy.  "I'm so going to screw this up."

"You said that about the white house and look how good you've done."

"Ezra is nicer and easier than being president but I'm still going to screw it up.  What if I...."

"Xander, if you even think about saying that, I'm calling Ezra so he can calm you down."  Xander gave him a pleading look so he called.  Vin gave the phone to Ezra and Xander did calm down.  Eventually.  It was getting very near to time.  All the guests were there.  John took the phone and said bye then hung up.  "You have five minutes to dress.  Brush your teeth."  Xander ran to brush his teeth then came back to slide into his special suit.

John smiled at it.  It did suit him very well.  He stood up to make sure he looked nice then helped Xander with his hair refix.  "Deep breath."  Xander took two just in case and they walked out.  They took one carriage to the waiting area.  He could hear Chris's truck with the others on the driveway.  John slipped inside and into his seat, nodding at Buck, who was here to oversee the dignitaries.  He had volunteered so he could not cry during the wedding, or so he said.

The casual instrumental music playing ended and the DJ put on the wedding song.  Everyone looked.  Xander came in from his side.  Ezra was walking in from him side.  The whole crowd sighed in pleasure.  Xander's black suit with the forest green shirt and black tie was barely shiny but it attracted attention and highlighted everything about his body.

Ezra's black suit with red shirt and red tie was the same for him.  They met in the center and Xander smiled.  Ezra smiled back.  They joined hands and turned to the local assistant director of the ATF office.  He was certified to do weddings and they had agreed since he had helped Ezra for years.  The ceremony was short and sweet.  Many of the people in the audience, including a few of the Secret Service guys, were sniffling.  They kissed at the end and the crying people sniffled at that too.  They all clapped.

Ezra smiled, looking at Xander.  Then at the crowd.  "If you'll adjourn to the next room, there's food and the reception waiting."  They all walked that way talking.  Ezra waited until they were alone, only Buck had hung back.  He took another kiss.  Xander smiled.   "Let us see the beauty you created for our most important dinner."

Xander grinned.  "I think you'll like it."  They walked over and the DJ announced them, getting claps and cheers.  They sat at their table.

Ezra looked.  Each small table had a classical looking steel blue glass vase with a good spray of delphinium and larkspur backed by a spray of ivy.  On each plate was a blue rose and a blue iris tied together with a silver ribbon.  The tablecloths were steel blue with silver edging and the silver charger, the plate that went under the actual plates, was a duller shade of pewter.  The silverware gleamed and the crystal glasses were trimmed with a silver band.  So were the white plates.  He smiled at Xander.  "You did a wonderful job."  Xander smiled and gave his hand a squeeze.  "Did they have to special order things?"

"Just the blue vases.  The rest they had."  He smiled at the waiters that came out.  The placement chart had included which meal everyone got.  They were served theirs and said a quiet thank you to the waiter, who smiled back.  Xander waited until everyone had been served and the wine stewards had went around.  He stood up.  "Thank you all for celebrating with us today.  I'm not the best spoken ever so I'll leave it as a simple thank you."  The crowd cheered and he sat down again.

Ezra smiled as he stood.  "A toast to my new husband and all our friends.  May they find such happiness as we have."  That got a louder cheer and everyone drank.  The food got a lot of happy comments.  Only one person wasn't totally happy and the waiter quietly and quickly fixed it for her.  She hadn't known she was allergic to shellfish.  Nathan had allergy pills for her and administered them quickly.  Fortunately it wasn't that bad of an allergy.  The rest went off without a hitch.  When it came time for the cake, Xander and Ezra had a small cake for themselves.  Ezra smirked at Xander.

The cakes had two layers of dark chocolate cake with a layer of slightly mashed cherries in a tangy cherry sauce.  The frosting was piped on overtop another layer of the cherries and some fresh cherries garnished the top.  Everyone moaned at the cakes that got brought out for each table.  Ezra and Xander cut his cake to much clapping and fed each other a bite.  Ezra was tempted to dot his nose with some but Xander nearly licked his fingers clean of the small bite he held.  He had to moan at that tongue action.  He, of course, did the same and Xander groaned back, clearly enjoying it.

They sat back down to eat the excellent cake.  The slayers were all moaning over slices.  Fortunately each table's cake came with an extra slice so the girls could argue over them.  The other tables didn't give theirs up so the slayers got to pout and arm wrestle their way into who got the last piece, making a lot of happy guests since it was entertaining.  The DJ rolled up the wall between two tents and started to play some less quiet music.

"I believe it's time for our song," Xander said quietly, eating the last little bit of his cake.  He had even scraped up all the spilled cherry sauce.   He stood up and held out his hand.  Ezra took it with a smile.  The girls watching all sighed as he led him out to start their first dance.  _When I'm Gone_ played, stunning some for the choice but the words made Buffy sniffle and Jack give her a hug.

The crowd gave them a standing ovation afterward and the girls came out to dance too.  Faith and all his slayers stole Xander for a dance.  The DJ did a good job mixing dance music with softer stuff for slower dances.  It made it special and the last hour of the party was mostly dance music so the girls could burn off the cake.  And so Xander could tease Ezra on the floor.  The girls all agreed he did look very nice together.  They looked downright hot when they were dancing to the faster music.

Finally everyone went home and Xander tipped the staff and helpers, plus handed over the checks to the chef and the rental company.  They all smiled and Ezra led Xander to the waiting carriage.   They were going last.  The carriage would depart after dropping them at the house.  They got a bottle of water from the kitchen and retired to the bedroom.  Xander opened the door and let Ezra see.

"I do believe this was in the room I lived in when I lived at that little inn for the summer," he said happily.  He walked around.  Yes, it was definitely from the same room.  He smiled at Xander.  "You are unbelievably sentimental."

"Well, yeah," Xander agreed happily.  He took a kiss and put the water down.  Ezra put a coaster under it and then took off their jackets for them.  They got properly hung up.  Then he came back to work on the ties.  Xander was moaning as he was freed, tipping his head back.

"You did an excellent job."  Xander grinned.  "For that I should reward you.  All through the dancing I wanted to do what we did at that one club that night in Alexandria."  Xander shivered, moving closer.  Ezra would give him a great time and it was a wonderful honeymoon night.

***

The next day, they looked outside.  The tents were gone.  The grass was a bit torn up but everything had disappeared.  Xander yawned, sipping his soda.  Ezra walked in and got his own coffee, looking out there with him.  "It's like it was a dream," Xander said.

"It was a very nice fairytale."  Ezra rested beside him, sipping his coffee.  Xander hauled him up and outside to the benches that had mysteriously appeared on the porch, complete with cushions.  "I believe these were housewarming gifts from Buck and JD."

"That's what the tag says."  Xander handed it over with a grin.  They sat there, watching the field, the trees blowing with the breeze.  It was a good morning.  Yeah, they could handle this pretty easily.  "Did you see anything you really didn't like about the remodel?"

"No, so far I've adored everything.  Will that brick even work?"

"Yeah, it's meant for wood fires."  He grinned.  "So we can make authentic pizza and you guys can make some oven baked stuff from a fire with meat."  Ezra smirked and nodded, he understood what that meant.  "You know they can hang out over here whenever they want."

"I know and so do they.  Outside of today of course."  He sipped his coffee and put it down.  Xander settled against his side like usual again.  "It is incredibly quiet without the horses."

"I'm having a small barn and paddock built for Companion."

"That'll help."  He smiled.  "Of course, we'll expect the horses to lounge near each other again."

"Of course.  Am I building a three stall or a two stall barn?"

"Hmm.  Three."  Xander grinned at him.  "Might as well let the two live together."  He put his arm around Xander's shoulders.  "The slayers were all very well behaved.  They were less bouncy than usual too."

"Buffy and Faith enforced manners."

"Ah.  It was funny with the fighting over the last slices of cake."

Xander grinned.  "I'm so proud that my girls won for the most part.  One even beat out Buffy, which is why Jack had to surrender his last half a piece."

"That was adorable.  Do we think there's more O'Neill's on the way?"

"No.  No weight gain.  Dawn... I'm not real sure.  Either she had gained a few extra pounds after the last one or she's getting that boob weight gain problem."

"I thought she bought that top to tease Samuel some more.  Though, Dean's face when she took off her jacket was priceless."

Xander grinned.  "He nags her sometimes about making Sammy have to take a nap or have a really sore back."

"Hmm.  Did she take lessons from you perhaps?" Ezra asked dryly.  Because his was throbbing at the moment.  Not that he'd admit it.

"From Anya.  The same as Buffy did once."

"Ah.  That explains that stamina as well."

Xander grinned.  "If you're a good boy and go get naked for me on the bed, I'll work on your back before I let you pounce me into another round."  He wiggled his eyebrows.

"That is very tempting, Xander."  He considered it.  "Hmm.  Perhaps a good backrub, followed by some soaking in that sinful and lavish outdoor tub you put in?" he asked with a point.

Xander gave him an evil smirk.  "Can we add your special bubbles?"

"We can add some cologne.  It'll make its own bubbles."  He stood up and Xander smirked at him, watching his hind end as he walked into the bedroom already stripping.  Xander followed after a minute.  He did have the best view from the doorway of the naked, pale cream ass and just a hint of a shadow of the cock he was hiding underneath it from the splayed legs.  Xander grabbed the oil and attacked Ezra's back like he was going to make him into bread dough.  Ezra moaned so he eased off some but it was still a good massage.

***

Chris came over for dinner, carrying the bag Ezra had asked him to pick up.  "Guys?" he called from the kitchen.  He heard the squeak and looked outside.  They were in the hot tub.  He carried the food out and put it on the table beside Xander's head.  "Can't get out?" he teased when he saw how wrinkled Ezra was.

"No, dear lord, he wore me out," Ezra said with a hoarse sounding voice.  Xander just grinned at him.  "I'll have to repay that favor after a good meal and bit of rest."

"I'm yours alllll day tomorrow too," Xander said smugly.  "Did the moving guys he hired get all his stuff into my suite?"

"Yes, and they ignored the protesters too.  As ordered," Chris assured him.  He smiled.  "You two want me to get you robes?"

"Who's going to see?" Xander asked.

"Good point.  Let me leave so you two can go back to your honeymooning.  We leave at two the day-after-next," he reminded them before he left.  He didn't want to know why Ezra couldn't move.  Having heard Dean complaining about Dawn's treatment of Sam's body and making him sore, he was sure they had gotten the same lessons.

"I do believe we traumatized poor Mr. Larabee," Ezra said dryly.  Xander cackled and kissed him.  "Do let me eat, Xander.  I need sustenance to provide you with the same sort of laxness I have."

"Sure, Ez, you eat."  He got the boxes of food out, knowing which one was Ezra's.  It had real, adult people food in it.  He got a fork and fed him.

Ezra swallowed and looked at him.  "I don't need such attention normally but tonight it is appreciated."

"Now and then I slip into 'let me spoil you' mode, Ez.  If I get too far down, let me know."  He fed him another bite.

"I will."  He let himself be spoiled rotten by his new husband.  It was the benefit of marrying a fusser.  By the time they made it back to bed, he was so thoroughly spoiled and lank all he could do was sleep.  Xander tucked him in and snuggled in for his usual cuddling all night.  He'd have to get used to that but it was comforting.  Even when Xander occasionally had strange dreams and bit him on the side.

***

Xander got out of the car when they made it back to the white house, staring at the chanters.  "Oh, shut the hell up!" he shouted.  "Sanctimonious bastards!  If I wanted your opinion on my sex life, I'd ask!"  The crowd booed.  Xander kissed Ezra then smiled.  "Get a life!  Clearly you don't have one if you can stand out here for three days!"  He walked them inside.  "Gibbs, go run off the fucking idiots please.  I'm in a good mood and I don't want it ruined."

Ezra snickered.  Xander was having a playful day.  That kiss had been something he would do as well.

Chuck stood up and grinned.  "Good afternoon, Xander."

Xander stared at him.  "If you say I have a problem to handle instead of going right to a nap, I'm going to have to get Blackhawk to come pee on your car again, Chuck."

"No, no problems.  A few calls of 'congratulations' we handled.  A few presents.  A protesting call by the Vatican that you're immoral and sucking all the morality out of the country.  Other than that, even Castro called to say congratulations but he still doesn't like gay people."

Xander nodded.  "That was an odd situation before anyone asks."  He sighed.  "Chuck, didn't I give you the week off?"

"Yup."  He grinned.  "I'm just back myself, Xander."

"Oh, okay then.  Let me pop in.  Are the dogs back?"

"John had them beamed in a few minutes ago with me.  They ran Teyla and Blackhawk ragged all week exploring the city."

"Cool."  Xander gave him a hug and a back slap then went up to the apartment to play with the dogs so Ezra could get some rest.  He had been mean to his poor back again.

Once everyone was settled in, Gibbs looked at Chris.  "Did something happen?"

"He's in one of those playful sparring mood days," Chris said dryly.  "Usually these amount to a lot of taunting and teasing instead of actual work getting done.  Since Ez can't sit, he has to pick a new target."

"My first wife did the same thing to my back on our honeymoon," Gibbs admitted.

"Yeah, mine too," Chris said with a happy smile.  "Damn I was young."

Gibbs laughed and nodded.  "I wasn't even in the service a year when I married Shannon.  Those two and Chuck make me feel ancient some days."

"JD does it to me," Chris agreed.  "The house is nice."

"I saw.  Someone leaked pictures."

"Yeah, JD said they got the film that someone sent to Chuck out of his email here."

"Hmm.  We'll have to find that leak and beat the shit outta them."

"Yes we do," Chris agreed.  The protesters started to chant again.  "I agree, if they had a life they wouldn't be able to stand out there chanting and being annoying for three days.  My wife would've killed me."

"Shannon would've come with me if I was that serious about it."

"You notice they're all men?" Chris asked.

"Yup.  The women gave up the first afternoon.  There were only three out of the twenty."

"You think women like watching two guys like most guys like watching two women?" Buck said as he joined them.

"Abby does," Chris said dryly.  "She wanted me to kiss Vin so she could have a picture."

Gibbs nodded.  "She tried to manipulate one of me and DiNozzo once.  I had McGee erase it after I spanked her for it."  They all smirked at each other.  "We should make them go."

"They're outside the gate so they're Metro's problem unless they're doing more than protesting peacefully," Chris sighed.  "Pity."

"They're coming to enforce them staying up the street by a bit," Buck said.  "I talked to the Captain and he agreed he could do that much since they were being annoying and blocking traffic."

"That may work.  At least they'd be out of sight of the windows," Gibbs decided.  He looked up.  "You don't think he'll try to provoke them by being overly noisy, right?"

"They couldn't hear that far away even if he was tempted to," Chris assured him.  "Plus, Ezra has sense and taste."  Buck snickered, nodding.  "They're planning on sneaking out to the farm tomorrow night, Buck."

"I heard we were going riding.  I already alerted DiNozzo so he can dress comfortably tomorrow or bring a change of pants.  What do you think they expected when they voted him in?  They knew he was dating Ezra."

"There was that small minority that didn't vote him in," Gibbs reminded him.  "Most evangelical christians."

"Yay," Chris said flatly.  "Okay, there's Metro."  They watched them herd people back up the street.  "How long do you think they'll hang out down there?"

"Two days, max," Gibbs said.

Buck nodded.  "Some'll give up by the morning.  They made their point and it didn't matter.  Though Xander might go live at Ezra's condo if he could."

"It'd be easier to guard the building.  Did he rent it out?"  Buck nodded.  "Figures.  Housing's a bit down right now."

"He still bought it for a steal," Buck said dryly.  "I swear they both bought their houses too cheaply going to seizure auctions."

Chris nodded.  "Wish I could have when I bought the farm."

"Do they have another hidden place again?" Gibbs asked.  Buck and Chris both nodded.  "Is Xander flipping it?"  They nodded with a smirk.  "How nice?"

"Very nice," Chris said.  "Very quiet, full house.  Last time it was a condo.  This time Xander bought about six and gave the local vo-techs that did construction the houses and let them flip them to teach the students on and then sell for their funds.  Three got done and they're *real* nice."

Buck nodded.  "The last two are for sale right now.  They're nice inside.  Nothing too fancy like marble and stuff but nice, plain, simple houses for a new family."

"That sounds like it helped the programs a lot," Gibbs said.

Chris smiled and nodded.  "I'm proud of the kid for it.  Vin said that one of the local vo-tech programs was having a problem finding funding to buy their own.  He didn't even ask, Xander overheard it on his way to get a snack and handled it.  They've done a lot of subtle helping down where Vin lives and in Anacondia."

"Huh.  I bet people might like to hear that."

"Not really," Buck said.  "It makes the people who work in DC upset because he's helping those that need it instead of everyone else."

"I have noticed that attitude running around, yeah," Gibbs agreed.  "My director might shit elephants before admitting it might be a good plan."

"He and Vin quietly went to the habitat project building a new community center," Chris said with a small shrug.  "The gang kids came up to try to stop it and he laid down some hard and fast beatings to stop them then gave them the parental lecture from hell.  Especially when he said Xander couldn't understand what they were going through.  Xander laid it real low on 'em and they were at least pleased one of the kids from the deep reaches of lower class made the white house but they'll respect it."

"I have never seen a gang kid being beaten like that," Buck agreed.  "And he didn't care *which* gang it was either.  Vin tried to tell him one was a Crypt.  Xander just shrugged and said they were human and therefore entitled to respect until they proved otherwise.  Then the next day he announced that really unpopular research study into how to help lower class kids get into colleges and good careers instead of fast food, drugs, and jail for robbery."

"I liked it," Chris admitted with a small shrug.  "He ran it past me and it made sense to me."

"It hinged on the kids wanting to do more and half of them have already given up," Gibbs pointed out.

"Yeah, but the half that hasn't, it's had great success with and it's gotten some to actually find some hope somehow.  The teachers he highlighted for speaking the same language as the kids was nice too I thought."

"It was.  Those schools have been transferred into a lot more," Vin said as he joined them.  "I still like his 'go to school, become a teacher, come back to your own neighborhood because you'll teach them the same way you were taught' section."  They all nodded at that.  "Can't we stop the idiots?  It's driving Ez to want to do something flashy."  Buck shuddered.

Vin walked that way on rounds, shaking his head at the chanting.  "You voted for him, people.  He was dating then.  You knew he was bisexual when he was VP and you still voted for him.  That's your own doing so quit bellyaching," he called as he walked past them.  That shut up a few of them.  Fortunately.  They were giving people headaches.  He ran into a reporter sneaking in and pounced her to cuff and walk off so Chris could scowl at her.  "We even get the creepy reporters," he said as he handed her over.  "Weekly World News?"

Chris looked at her credentials then at her.  "Why are you here?" he demanded.

"We think the aliens are going to come hold a summit soon."

Vin snorted.  "Everyone knows that's O'Neill's job with Sheppard, not Xander's."

She pouted.  "They'd like him the same way demons would."

Chris shook his head.  "He wouldn't stand for it and neither would Ezra."

"Oh."  She gave them a pitiful look.  "Can I be let go?"

He snorted.  "Hell no!"  He walked her off to arrest her and find out where she had gotten in.  That way he could cover the weak spot.  He thought he had them all covered.  Proved him wrong.

Vin shook his head.  "Idiots," he muttered.  Gibbs nodded, sipping his coffee.  "Where is McGee?  I haven't seen him in days."

"He and JD are doing computer things with Chuck to find the hacker," Gibbs said.  "He's been hopping for the last few days after breaking a toe."

Vin nodded.  "Done that a few times."  He walked off shaking his head.

Buck nodded.  "He and Ez get hurt all too often for our tastes.  And they never want to stay in the hospital."

"So, they're like the president about that stuff?" Gibbs asked dryly.

"Hell, yes.  It makes Nathan nag more."

"I heard he used to."

Buck grinned.  "Back before they were dating, when Xander was still sneaking out to go to clubs with the Secret Service guys and we were newly here, Nathan tried to nag Xander about having just coffee for breakfast.  Xander quipped back he had been giving a blow job for breakfast, the coffee was just his snack.   Stopped that real damn fast that day."  Gibbs walked off snickering, shaking his head.  Buck smirked and went on his own rounds. None of the guards were complaining of noisy bedrooms today so apparently Xander had let Ezra sleep off the soreness.  Or they had found them a gag to share and Ezra would get to sleep in tomorrow.

***

Xander was staring out his window a few days later.  All the protestors but one were gone.  That one was camping.  "Wonderful," he muttered.  He walked out there, sneaking past Buck and JD arguing so he didn't have to have a guard with him.  He walked out to the fence, staring at the guy.  "You can't really put up a tent out here.  Metro won't let you," he said in greeting.  He leaned against the bars, staring at the horrified person.  "I commend you on your strength of belief, dude, but this isn't the way to do it.  Even if you feel that you're on a holy crusade."

"You're still wrong."

Xander shrugged.  "That's your opinion.  Mine is that I've suffered for decades protecting people like you from things that tried to destroy all of us.  I deserve happiness."  He shifted, crossing his arms over his chest.  "You still can't put up a tent on the sidewalk.  We have plenty of campgrounds, go pick one.  You can still come back to pursue your semi-holy crusade if you must."

"You can't talk me out of it."

Xander shrugged.  "That's your right.  The same as it's mine to point out that you knew the man I was when you voted me in.  You have to take the parts you don't like with the rest of me.  If twenty years of combat isn't changing me, a protest by people sure as hell won't."  He stared at him.  "Like I said, I commend you for the strength of your belief, but it still sucks.  Clearly you're not married or she'd be filing fo divorce papers."

"My wife and children are safely at home," he sneered.

"Hmm.  Then I guess she's either behind you thinking you're the newest version of a messenger or she's filing for divorce, dude.   Seriously, how can you be a father or a husband when you're here all the time?  You're making your kids go fatherless for a point that everyone else quit caring about days ago."

"He knows I have to do this.  I talk to him all the time."

Xander shrugged.  "Then build a damn church or something.  Though I wouldn't use donations to rent a hotel room.  It does look bad on the ministers who use their church's funds for their own personal gain."  He stared at him.  "You still can't camp here.  Find a state park.  The Metro boys who'll be coming in a few minutes to make you move your campsite will probably gladly show you where they are and help you figure out which bus to take to get back here so you can protest until you feel better about things.  Because the same rights that give you the right to protest, give me the right to finally be happy with who I chose."

"You didn't have to marry him while you were president.  It's disgracing the white house."

"Why should I put my life on hold?  Why should I deny myself someone to sit there and help me with things, a good sounding board to talk about frustrating situations that I have to handle?  No other president didn't have anyone they could talk to.  I sure as hell didn't for the longest time.  I lucked out and got Ezra.  He helps me be a better president.  Even if he does make me dress better he explains things that I wasn't getting before.

"He's smoothed out a lot of wrinkles for diplomatic things that I never used to worry about.  My spot was in a never-ending war, not at the peace table.  He's helped me see some of the peace process."  The man nodded at that.  "I'm a better man and president for having Ezra.  Why should I make you all suffer as I screw more things up?"

"You were doing fine."

"I was dating him then.  Do you think that other presidents who aren't married should have to wait?"

"He's not a first lady."

"No, he's not."  He smiled.  "He has better taste than quite a few of them."  The man slumped.  "He's also better liked by a lot of world leaders than I am because I'm blunt."

"You should still go to hell for being gay."

Xander shrugged.  "I saw hell when I fought in the First Evil battle.  If I believed in your God, I might be pissed about that but the Goddess doesn't say a damn thing to me about it, and the other higher beings I've heard about, been talked to by, and all that, like me with Ezra."  He smirked.  "That's kinda Cordelia's job, dude.  She's the Messenger for the higher ups."

"I didn't know that."

Xander nodded.  "She served in the war too.  That was her reward.  Ezra's mine."  A Metro PD car pulled up.  "Have fun at the campground."

The officer walked over.  "Sir, it's illegal to post a tent anywhere in the city limits," the officer said firmly.

"I'll let you guys take him to a campground," Xander ordered.  The officer gave him a horrified look.  He grinned back.  "He's got conviction, and I admire that, but tell him which bus gets back here if he wants to keep abandoning his family."  He stared at the man.  "Man wasn't meant to be alone and if you love your wife, I'd do more than call.

"Otherwise your kid can go bad in a matter of weeks.  If you feel you're that strongly called to a crusade, start a church.  That way you aren't abandoning your God's laws to sit out here and try to convince others.  It'll get you heard faster with a larger audience."  He walked off.  "Have a better night."

The man stared at him then packed up his things.  "Which way to the nearest campground?" he asked politely.

"We can drop you off, sir," the officer assured him.  "And you take the number 8 bus from there to get to the terminal then the one stop is up the street," he said with a point.  He got him into the car and took him to the campground, letting him get his things from the trunk.  He had to admire the president for handling it calmly and not encouraging the nut.  He agreed, if he was that determined, start a ministry.

Chris stared at Xander as he walked back up to the doorway.  "That was fucking dumb.  He could've been any sort of mentally unstable or had a weapon."

"He has a wife and a son at home he's abandoning to this.  He's going to camp and bus back every day.  I admire that he's strong enough to do this, but I did remind him that doing this didn't get his point across and he should start a church."  He walked around him.

"You still should've had guards."

"Then he would've been intimidated, Chris.  It would've been a more violent talk.  Talking man to man with him worked better and made him see a few points."

"Whatever."  He followed him back to the oval office.  The dogs got taken out to pee and play for a few minutes then they went in for dinner.  It had been a long day.  He turned and found Cordelia watching Xander walk off.  "Bad news?" he asked quietly.

She shook her head.  "No.  I'm glad he's happy too.  He does deserve it and Ezra is both his punishment and his eternal torment because he won't let Xander be sloppy anymore."  She looked at Chris when he snorted.  "He's also got convenient hearing.  Have him clean out his damn storage areas?"

"How many does he have?" Tony asked as he joined them from the security office.

"Four.  He'll admit to two."  She smirked at him.  "Some were presents and some were other things."

"Weapons," Chris said flatly.

"There's some of those too.  There's also some other wedding presents from the higher ups and some pretty high demons.  Including the Powers.  I'm not sure that cursed artifact is such a present per se but they said so.  Angel had given it to them so they're regifting."  She faded out.

"He doesn't have a thing to do tomorrow," Tony said.

Chris nodded.  "Ezra and JD are excellent at organization and we can help."

"McGeek is too.  Plus Ziva could use some quiet time.  She's getting a lot of stress headaches from her father."

"What does her father do?" Chris asked him.

"He's the head of the Mossad."  Chris's mouth flopped open.  "Yeah.  So he's being pushy.  I told her she should ask Buck to play along and then dump her so he'd quit nagging her about things.  She said it was nagging over other things."

"Huh.  Yeah, he's had to help a few others that way in the past.  Schedule it and make sure they're around here?"

"If not, maybe we can ask O'Neill for a favor.  That way it's absolutely silent."  He grinned.  "Beaming is a lot faster and safer than driving."

"Yes it is."  He walked off to go talk to the kid.  Ezra answered the apartment's door.  "Cordelia showed up."  Xander looked up from his eating.  "She reminded me to tell you to clean out your storage areas tomorrow, kid."

"Okay, why?"

"Some wedding presents.  Including something cursed that whoever Angel is gave her Powers so they're regifting."

"Huh.  Angel was Buffy's first boyfriend and the Champion for the Powers.  He held LA for a while."  He ate a bite and nodded.  "Chuck knows where they are.  Two aren't anywhere near the US though."  He ate another bite.

"Let's do it quietly," he ordered.  "Wherever they are.  Especially so I can make sure that whatever you're bringing back to Denver won't blow us all up."  He gave him a pointed look then left them alone.

Ezra locked the door again, coming back to sit down.  "How many do you have?"  Xander held up five fingers.  "Do they know that?"

"I doubt they know about one.  I have a rental storage area on the West Coast from the Sunnydale stuff.  I've made sure it stayed paid yearly."  He ate another bite.  "You did a really good job, Ezra."

"Thank you.  It was nearly nothing to accomplish."

Xander smiled.  "You know I appreciate all the little things you do."  He took a kiss.  "I'm supposed to talk to O'Neill tomorrow anyway about the next apocalypse battle."  He cut another bite of chicken off and ate it, then looked at Ezra.  "Are you coming?"

"Oh, yes.  Just in case Chris does spank you for the weapons."

Xander grinned.  "Then I won't admit where one of them is."  He stuffed his mouth.  He grabbed the phone when it rang.  "Hello?"

//I will insist on having grandchildren some year,// a female voice ordered coolly.

Xander snorted.  "Yeah, if we feel like it, Maude.  Right now I'm enjoying having Ez all to myself and if we do have children, it'll be a mutual decision unless I go to one of the Council witches to help me get pregnant."

//I meant to tell that to my son, Xander.  Is he there?//

"He's eating and he needs his food.  Ezra, did you want to talk to your mother and her nagging about breeding for the family lines?"

Ezra considered it for a minute.  "I'll call her tomorrow when we have time for a talk."

Xander kissed him then smiled.  "If you want to talk to her, I won't interrupt."

"No, we're eating.  You missed lunch, I missed lunch playing with the dogs and with that meeting, so we need to eat dinner."  He took the phone.  "Mother, we're starved and eating," he said in greeting.  "Call my cell tomorrow."

"Call my cell tomorrow.  It'll reach inside the warehouses where yours won't because it doesn't have the magic filter on it," Xander said.

Ezra looked at him.  "I did have Dawn fix that before the wedding," he said with a smug look.

Xander grinned.  "I wasn't going to ask for the favor but get you a special one from the Council."

"I have a brand new one that has all the toys and features I could want," he reminded him.  Xander pulled out his new phone to show him.  "Oooh," he moaned.  "I've seen those."  He took it to look over.  "Yes, Mother, call his so I can check the sound quality tomorrow."  He hung up, getting into the new phone's features.  It was a new, expensive, phone meant to go with explorers, billionaires who might be kidnaped, and people who needed heightened security.  It had most of the standard features.  "No calculator?"

"It's on that side menu button."  Xander showed him.  "So we only have to hit two things to find it.  Most of us use that feature the most often."  He ate another bite.  "Yours is charging in the bedroom."

Ezra smirked, going to get his.  "Does it have the same locator?"

"Of course.  And it only needs to charge the backup battery about once a year.  The rest of the time it runs on ambient magic.  The Council gets a reduced rate because Andrew helped develop that system and integrated it into a whole bunch of electronics."

"Hmmm."  He put it beside his present one.  "I don't know if I should carry them both or switch over."

Xander kissed him.  "If you're out of DC, carry the Council one."

"I will."  He took another kiss, letting Xander get back to eating.  He had outdone himself with the simple, yet tasteful dinner.  Then he'd have to calm Xander down or make him take the husbandly attention tonight.  Not that he thought Xander would mind.  Xander wasn't even hard to seduce.  Just a smile and a good backrub and he was a purring mass of husband.  That was good to remember before he got too sore to work.

***

Xander looked around the first warehouse.  "Is this the ex-boyfriend warehouse or the ex-girlfriend warehouse?" he asked.  He checked the nearest boxes.  "Ex-girlfriend warehouse."

"You had them separated?" Ezra asked him, looking amused.

"Yeah.  The ex-girlfriends tend to be meaner.  The ex boyfriends tend to like me to have weapons.  That way if one of the ex-girlfriends blew up stuff it didn't include the weapons."

"That almost makes sense," Tony joked, walking around the empty area.  "Do we have a manifest?  If not, this'll take weeks."

Xander considered it then got into his old laptop, which still had the files on it.  "Some of them."

McGee took it and walked off.  "Starting in the back, Xander?"

"Um, started when I moved things to this one from the smaller one."  He pointed.  "Start on that wall."  He and JD walked that way.  JD squeaked and they all stared when he pulled out something.  "That was a present way back when, guys."  He went to look at things he knew he hadn't put in here.  They weren't stacked like the rest.  "Oh, hey, wedding presents."  He got into one, sniffing the chocolate.  Chris took it from him and put it into a bag.  "It's not drugged."

"We're not taking that chance, Xander."

Xander stared at him.  "I'm not that bad."

"I don't care."  He dug into that box.  More chocolates.  Clearly someone was trying to tempt his well-known sweet tooth.  Chris finally found the card and the name on it made him grimace.  "Xander, did you date someone who could've looked like Ezra's sister?" he asked dryly.

Ezra looked over.  "Mya?"

"Yes."  He held up the card.

Xander thought back.  "Does she move really gracefully?"  Chris and Ezra nodded.  "Used to be a ballet dancer then went assassin?"  They both smirked and nodded.  "She's the senior slayer in the Russian office, guys."  They both gaped.   He grinned.  "I'm the one that spotted her and told her what was going on."

"Shit," Chris sighed.  "She wasn't at the wedding."

"She probably thought it might not be a good thing if you guys knew her."

"Back when she was working, she tried to take out Vin on a date," Chris said dryly.  "That's how we found out she was an assassin."

"Former KGB," Ezra agreed.

Xander grinned and nodded.  "I met her former boss and partner both while working with her on the slayer how-to lessons.  They were not amused and called Giles to complain.  He told them to bite him in more polite terms from what I translated from the Latin he was complaining back in."  He looked at the chocolates.  "So that means they're probably not drugged."

"We still have to test them," Tony ordered, moving him to another crate.  Xander shrugged and opened it, making Tony gasp.  "Oh, hell."

Ezra walked over to look.  "Interesting present they sent."

Xander found the card and dug it out, looking at it.  "Huh.  Prais."  He tucked it into his shirt pocket.  "I'll have to write her a thank you note for not sending me anything dead."  Tony gave him an odd look.  He grinned.  "Her last present was a dead gazelle I had been tracking.  It was zombified as part of an asshole's compound guard force."

Tony shuddered, shaking his head as he walked off.  "Sure, diamonds are much nicer than that."

"Do we think they're blood diamonds?"  Ezra asked quietly.

Xander looked at one in the light then walked over to his section, looking around until he found one box.  He opened it and dug out a small pouch, comparing the two stones in the light.  "The one from Prais looks clearer."

"Where did that one come from?" Ezra asked casually.

Xander looked at him.  "Do you want to hear about the guy who took me and one of the girls hostage and had us dig until we got free and killed them all?  We took everything we dug with us since they weren't going to need it and I raided the house because I didn't want to leave them there for the other bad idiots to get them.  We went right to the cops and told them.  They said they did not want to hear it, they had never met us, there was no report being filed, and they were upset that we took away their extra paycheck," he said dryly.  "She nearly snapped him in half."

Tony stared at him.  "I heard about that."  He smirked.  "That was in the DRC?"

"Yup."  He looked then pointed.  "That one was the mafia guy in South Africa."

Chris swallowed.  "Another kidnaping?"

"I was rescuing when one was and got vindictive."  Xander smiled sweetly.  "He was not happy to find me in his office after I freed all his slaves, took out of most of his guard force, and was feeding his files to the main fax number at the CIA office in Johannesburg.  He was even less happy when I shot him in the stomach and left him lying there after I told him to never touch another slayer ever again.  On the nice cover sheet I wrote that it was from the files of, put his name and address, and that I had just freed some of the captives and slaves he had.  That I was being vindictive on behalf of one.  I didn't stick around long enough to hear what happened because of it."

"They had a grand old time arresting people and he died in jail," Tony told him with a smile.  "Thank you."

Xander grinned back.  "Welcome."

"He is scarily like a kid between Vin and Ezra," Buck complained, paying JD ten bucks with a head shake.  Xander pinched him, making him yelp.

"It had nothing on the club scene in Cairo's underground clubs," Xander shot back with an innocent looking smirk.

"TMI," Buck said, holding up a hand.  "Really."

"They don't go for easy sex there."  He brought the first one back to the other box.  McGee got into that box to make sure it was all on the list.

Chris stared at the kid.  "Did any of them send you any weapons?"

"Not in this warehouse beyond a pretty sword."  He shrugged.  "That's in the ex-boyfriend warehouse."  He grinned.  "Remember, I have an appointment with O'Neill at noon."

"He's gonna join us," Chris said, patting him on the back.  He let Ezra have him to ask more questions about his years in Africa.  Because that was insane!  He wasn't sure if it was stuff only Xander could get into or if it was the duty but damn!

***

Jack got beamed into the warehouse, looking around.  "I take it the wife doesn't know you have this?" he guessed when he saw Xander sitting on a crate reading a file.

"Nope."  He looked up with a grin.  "Jon said to hand this to you after I finish it."  He went back to his reading.  He finally handed it over.  Jack looked it over and groaned.  Xander shrugged.  "I don't know how you want to handle that."

"I'll handle it."  He looked at him then around then back at the kid.  "What's all this?"

"Former girlfriends' presents or stuff I found because of the general part of the trip."  Buck let out a bitter sounding snort.  "As Ezra calls it, my retirement fund."  He grinned.

"We've found cards from the last six attempts on Vin's life outside of cases and a few of Ezra's old problems too," Buck told him.  "Plus some drugged chocolates."

Xander shrugged.  "I knew that other box was good."

"Shut up, kid," Buck ordered, walking off shaking his head.

Jack smirked at Xander.  "How many more of these are there?"

"A few.  Including stuff from Sunnydale that has my comics."

"People are definitely going to complain about such things if they suddenly show up," Ezra reminded him. "Especially about the things you looted when getting yourself free."

"I knew there was a problem with conflict stones so I talked to Giles, who got me in with someone who charges you with that problem.  For both of them.  They're on file and no one's ever went to look.  I'm almost shocked no one over there leaked the file when I became VP."

Jack shook his head quickly.  "I'll check into how they sealed that."  He looked around again.  "Which one're you?" he asked Tony.

"Tony DiNozzo, NCIS.  When the ATF team got sent back to Denver, the Secret Service threw our team at them."  He smiled.  "It's not hard work but they can drive us nuts sometimes."

"Amen," Buck called.  "Because I just found the body parts stack.  This is disgusting."

Xander looked.  "That's all new stuff, Buck.  Did it come with the obligatory wedding card for thank you notes?"

"You're so warped," Tony assured him with a smirk before heading that way.  "Yup, it does.  Before the wedding, dated last year.  Oh, that's so sweet.  These ones wanted to kill you for being gay and president."

Xander looked at Jack.  "See what you let get started?"

Jack smirked at him.  "Not like I had a choice."

"Fine."  He shifted on his box.  "So, anyway.  We'll be doing this on and off all week."

"Tomorrow we're doing the ex-boyfriend warehouse," Chris noted.

"Maybe we can use some of it for the next apocalypse battle," Xander quipped.

"It'll be mostly magical."

Xander stared at him.  "Said...."

"The Coven."

Xander nodded.  "These are the same witches who told Willow to only do little things during her addiction needs."

"I'm prepared no matter what but they said it'd be a magical battle."

"Most magical things can still be shot, thereby minimizing the risks of them sending spells astray."  He gave him a look.  "Especially with energy weapons if they can't block it."

Jack smiled.  "We have many of those on hand."

"Congrats.  Need me?"

"Nope.  Not unless this totally gets out of hand by some locals jumping in."

Xander nodded.  "Then have fun and let me know, Jack.  I'll pop in if you need me or Evan."

"I will."  He smirked.  "That might save you for the next election."

Xander gave him the puppy eyed look.  "You think?"

"I hope.  It might not save Evan...."  He smirked at Chris, who shuddered.  "They like him more for being straight and needing to marry to soothe those same people who protest outside the white house."

"I've seen him."  He rolled his eyes.  "We had a talk the night he tried to pitch a tent.  I advised him the solo crusade was pretty pointless, his wife was going to divorce him, his kid was going to grow up like me, and if he started a church it'd be easier to get his message out because I wasn't going to give it up.  Now we've had the bible networks up to interview him a few times and causing all sorts of problems."

"I ran off one," Tony assured him.  "For blocking the entry and making Evan huffy after a bad day at the Senate."

"There's so few of those," Xander said dryly.  He rolled his eyes.  "I'm about to see if I can call in a favor to turn them into kindergartners for a day so they realize how childish they're acting."

Jack snickered.  "Don't tempt Buffy to see if she could.  She's getting huffy with the reporters who keep asking her if she approved of you two marrying and did it upset me.  I pointed out I wanted you to be happy and if Ezra did it, then I'm all for it.  She said the same thing and they're still hounding her."

"I've introduced one reporter to one of my ex's," Xander said with a grin.  "That should've stopped it recently."

Chris gave him a horrified look.  "Which one?" he asked quietly.

"Belinda."

Chris walked off shuddering and scratching his arms like he had a sudden case of poison ivy.  "Oh, god, did she eat her?"

"No.  She was very nice to the deluded little thing and made the point that while she might be better for me politically she appreciates how well Ez and I fit together."

Ezra looked at him.  "I did get that charming message and an offer of puppies."

"I already told her we can't have puppies while I have the two dogs."  Xander smiled at him.  "The reporter for ET was very nice to her and very impressed I survived dating her.  She said it's clear I'm happier now with you and it's good for the country."  He smiled at Jack.  "We have a slightly less important but more personal job to deal with too."

"Okay, what?" he asked, taking the bait.

"John hasn't been off Atlantis since the day he got back there.  That's been almost two years now.  Even Willow's worried about him since he turned down talking to the Air Force academy."

Jack considered that then nodded.  "I don't see how I can help."

"When's the next military themed thing?  I figured it'd make him more comfortable."

Jack considered it.  "A picnic in four weeks for the local bases by DC.   The Marine ball in six."

"Can you make sure he has a uniform and a ticket?  He can even bring the dog if he wants."

"I can do that, kid."  He smiled.  "I know the attention bothered him."

"It bothers me too.  I'll be doing the same hiding in Denver when I finally get to escape but John hasn't done anything but look scared of people according to Willow.  Even Rodney's complained that he's not doing anything.  Even Jon thinks he's hiding."

"Gotcha.  Yeah, I can arrange that.  Dateless?"

"Up to him really."

"Dateless.  There's always plenty of singles there looking to dance."  He smirked.  "Plus I'll make sure he can go talk to the academy.  I did and it's important we graduate people just as heroically stupid and risky as we are."  He got beamed back to his office.  That was worrying about John.  The kid was right to bring it to his attention.

Xander smiled at Ezra.  "Are we going?"  Ezra shook his head.  "We went last year."

"We'll be in Cameroon."

"Oh, I forgot about that trip."  He came over to help them sort and notate but Chris put him back on his box to stay out of harm's way.  A few things had turned on as soon as he got near them.  He didn't want to risk it.

***

Evan got beamed onto Atlantis that night, the two boxes with him.  "McKay to the gateroom," he called over the intercom.  He came jogging in with a smile.  "These things are Ancient tech given to Xander by his ex girlfriends.  There might be more in the ex boyfriend warehouse, we're not sure yet."  He patted the top of the box with a smile.  "Where's John hiding?  I was going to help him for a bit.  It's insane that Glamour wanted me to do a topless picture."

"In the tv lounge again," he sighed.

Evan smirked.  "Xander and Jack talked earlier."  Rodney smirked at that, getting two soldiers to move the boxes to the lab for him.  Evan found John and his dog on the couch, flopping down on the dog's other side.  He looked so happy to find someone new to talk to him.  "Glamour wants me to do a topless picture after that marathon the other day."

"That's fucked up," John said with a smirk.

"Yup, which is why we're going to dinner and the dog's going to play with Xander's."  He put targets on them and beamed them back to his place to have dinner.  The two St. Bernards were running around the back yard.  Blackhawk ran out with a bark to be included.  John relaxed since they were still safe there.  More guards but less people watching them overall was nice enough.

***

John looked up as Evan appeared beside him six weeks later.  "Another dinner?" he guessed with a smile.

"Nope.  You're going in Xander's place to the Marine Corps ball with me."

John blinked a few times.  "Why?"

"Because you never date anymore.  It's pathetic that I'm getting all the action in DC."  He smirked.  "Plus, the commander in chief said so and neither one of us can go against his orders."  John groaned.  "Jack got you a new uniform so it'll fit too."

"There'll be reporters there."

"Not that many and we're beaming directly into the hotel.  They'll all be outside."  He stared at him.  "You need to get out more, sir.  You're moping.  You're pitiful, and people are starting to think that the reporters ruined you or you're depressed."

John shrugged.  "I don't know.  I wanted the peace and quiet.  It's nice."

"I know it is.  Still."  He handed over the suit bag.  "Yours.  Newly fitted."  John got up with a groan, going to shower and change.  He petted the dog, getting a happy bark.  Blackhawk followed him back to his own room to change then they met John in the gateroom.  He looked excellent but wary in his dress blues.  Evan smirked.  "Xander said you could bring the dog."

"Nah.  Blackhawk, go play with Ronon?"  The dog pouted at him.  He sighed.  "Fine.  Go play with Rodney and Willow plus the baby?"  He ran off.  He still loved the baby.  John put in his earpiece.  "Daedalus, this is Sheppard and Lorne.  We're ready."  They got beamed and he took a deep breath once they appeared.  He looked at Lorne.  "You're sure?"

"Yup.  You need to look at pretty things beyond the city.  She's beautiful but not a date."  He walked them to the doorway.  "Colonels Lorne and Sheppard."  He handed over the invitations.

"Thank you for attending, sirs."  The herald smiled.  "It's an honor, Colonels."  He announced them and a few people looked but not too many.  John got giggled at by a pretty young Sergeant but she only wanted a dance and he could use it to relax so Evan accepted for him.  They went out to dance and it was better.  Easier.  No reporters.  Everyone there was very polite, even if they had hated him as president, and nothing bad happened.  It was decent and maybe he'd start going out quietly again.

Evan watched him from the bar and *knew* something had happened.  He got his present guard in there, Gibbs was off in the corner pretending to be ignored, to ask him what it was.  Gibbs walked over to talk to him, making John stiffen but admit to something quietly. The pretty thing he was dancing with growled so it must be bad.  So hey, maybe Evan would have something to do this week instead of researching how to call down wish demons on the Senate.

***

Xander got the text message and excused himself long enough to read it.  He showed it to Ezra, who growled, and Chris, who growled louder.  The leader of Cameroon gave them an alarmed look.  "Sorry, just something bad I needed to hear."   He smiled.  "Someone in one of those stupidity groups is trying to cause a problem.  I'm sure people will deal with it for me so I don't have to?" he asked Chris.  Who nodded and went to handle that.  Ezra smiled and went with him.  He sat down again.  "Sorry about that."

"It's fine," the other leader said with a smile.  "Small things must be stopped before they become big things."

"Exactly.  Or before they cause multiple other problems to start."  He could not believe some militia had threatened Atlantis and John both.  So it wasn't just the reporters stalking them it was also this idiot group.  Xander dropped into one of the local dialects, which the watching reporters wouldn't get, and told him what was going on to get a better idea than an all out taking them out assault.

The leader gaped then gave him a really good one, which he texted to Ezra.  Xander smiled and glared at one reporter who had gasped.  She looked down so she wouldn't be talking.  He winked and went over how the local slayers were doing.  They were due in later so he could hang out with them.

***

John was watching the news later that day when the announcement of the group going down.  John tipped his head, staring at it.  "How in the hell?" he muttered.

Evan flopped down beside him, handing him the bag of popcorn and the leash to Blackhawk, who was now tired from his run.  "Because I got infected with Xander's I'll be damned syndrome," he said bluntly.  John stared at him.  Evan smirked.  "Sometimes it pays to be the guy in charge."  He ate a bite of popcorn, tossing some down for the dog.  "I also had a talk with the entertainment reporter at the white house and she agreed they should quit stalking you because they're being unfair to you and how else are you going to date."

He ate a bite of popcorn.  "She did say that she'd pass along a stern warning that they were going to be in trouble with the guards because so much shit was going on and they hadn't turned in that you had gotten verbal death threats, which pissed Xander off enough to ask the guy he's talking to in Cameroon for advice."  He ate another piece.  "Also, we had Dawn make you a disguise necklace in case you need it.  Will that solve most of the issues?"

"Yeah.  It will.  How did you know?"

Evan looked at him.  "I knew you weren't depressed, even if you have lived in front of this tv for a damn long time.  By the way, I'm assigning you to the Cleveland house for six weeks to work with the younger slayers.  You, Telya, and Ronon are all going.  They could use the advanced hand-to-hand training.  That'll give the two new ATA carriers they found time to get used to the city without her having to try to coddle you and them.  Then they're going to Archaic with Jon."

He grinned.  "There's almost no reporters in Cleveland because the slayers complained while staking vampires and the demons will eat them.  They've already told them they're annoying and in their way, even the peaceful ones, plus endangering the slayers and the peaceful community's health and well-being.  The judge agreed with the restraining order.  So you'll be more free to date there."

John relaxed.  "Thanks."

"You should've told me.  We could've solved it before they sent them to others.  They sent them to two senators to change their votes too.  Larabee called in from Africa to get them raided and shut down.  He has a whole list of how they should go and reasons why.  By the end of our term in DC there won't be any more of them if we can help it."

John flipped channels.  "The republicans want you to stay but not Xander."

"I'd kill every single one of them if they made me president," he said bluntly.  "Then I'd walk off and we'd go back to Pegasus."  He ate another bite of popcorn while John laughed.  "Take him to get him new toys tonight," he said with a nod at the dog.  "He's good and he deserves it."

"Yeah, I can do that," he decided, getting up.  "Wanna hit Petsmart?"  The dog barked and followed, tail going hard enough to throw off his stride.

"Excuse me?  We got death threats here?" Willow shouted a few minutes later.  "If I still had my magic, there'd be some damn small lizards with gunbelts and propaganda!" she shouted.  "I'll be Goddess-damned before I let that happen to this city!"

Evan smirked, putting his feet up.  "That's why you don't have it anymore," he said quietly.  "Because the US would be full of little lizards who'd want to vote Xander back into office so he'd protect them from you."  He nibbled while he watched the news.  He was going to have to shoot down rumors he wanted the presidency.  Hard.

Revelations.

Notes: ANGST!

"President Harris!" one reporter shouted as he walked off the plane home.  "Are you two planning on children?"

Xander looked at her.  "I have no idea.  If so, we'll adopt or I'll go ask one of the Council witches to help me carry one," he called back sarcastically.  "Can't I have him all to myself for a while?"  He helped Ezra into the car and got in after him.  "Geez, who started that line of questioning?" he asked his guards.

"One of the mega preachers who hates you said it wasn't a right or proper marriage because you can't have kids," Gibbs said.  "They can do that?"

"Yeah.  Some of them are pretty powerful."

"Should you I'll have to complain, loudly and righteously before I hand you to Josiah to spare my throat," Ezra said calmly.

Xander took a kiss with a grin.  "I have no want for kids at this moment.  I waited a damn long time for you and I'm hoarding you jealously."

Ezra smirked.  "Mr. Larabee had noticed that trait, yes.  Then Mr. Wilmington noted that he'd have done the same thing when he was married."

"Probably.  Chris does seem like the overprotective husband sort.  Look how he fusses over Vin."

Ezra looked at him.  "I don't believe you're reading them correctly."

Xander smirked.  "You sure?"

"I believe I know them better."

"Did you see them when Vin got hit on the vest?"

Ezra swallowed.  "That may be a point but I do not believe they've moved that way yet."

"If not, want to encourage it?"

"They could use the happiness."

"Exactly.  They should be as happy as I am."  He took another kiss and settled in.  "Why aren't we going?"

"Luggage," Gibbs said dryly.  "By the way, that same preacher said you're the First Lady President a few times."

"Hmm.  Well, that's his opinion because I look damn hot with an assault rifle."

Gibbs glared.  "I heard.  Expect to be swatted later."

Xander pointed at Ezra.  "He has."

"Not hard enough if you can sit."

Xander shrugged.   "I handled it as it laid at that moment, Gibbs."  Ezra stared at him.  "I did."

"Yes you did and gave me more gray hairs."

"They look like highlights so you're still good."  He grinned.  Ezra huffed.  Gibbs swatted him.   "Ow!"

"Suck it up, Harris."  The trunk got closed and the car drove off.  Gibbs looked at the window.  "Who's driving since the driver was loading the luggage?"  He put down the window and then rolled his eyes, putting it back up.  "Don't you dare wreck this car, Dunn."

"I'm not.  We do have to stop for gas though."

"That's far against protocol," Ezra said.  "Why?"

"Because the driver wasn't.  He was one of Xander's ex's.  Chris has him in cuffs by now."

"Cool," Xander decided.  "As long as there's no bomb on the car."

"No, we checked her over.  That's when Chris realized it."  He turned onto the street.  "Think you can quiet the press again?"

"Yup and that preacher too.   Gibbs, tomorrow we're going to the firing range.  A public one."

"You have meetings tomorrow," Ezra said tiredly.

Xander smiled.  "They can come.  They might need the stress relief.  Because half of them are with Evan."

"And the republicans giving you fits."

Xander called one.  "I need an outing tomorrow to blow off stress.  Want to take your meeting and De'Sandral's meeting at the gun range?"  He smirked.  "Yeah, Evan can shoot.  He's a soldier too.  Thanks.  Yeah, we can tell Tim that.  Thank you.  Just now going to bed.  Night."  He hung up.  "That's fine."

Gibbs looked at his phone's schedule.  "That'll work.  You have lunch between the two."  He watched Ezra send a text message to the rest of the team and Evan's phone.

"Evan said he'll bring the zat.  That way he's tempted severely to use it on a few of the others."  Ezra put his phone back in his pocket.  "When's the next trip anywhere?"

"Um... speech in Ohio next week?  I think."

"Hmm.  I have a trial I have to testify at next week."

"Do you need some of the guys to go with you?"

"I'm assured by AD Travis that my former office's staff will be at my disposal."  He smiled.  "He would be most upset with everyone if I got so much as a scratch and they all know that."

"Cool."  He took a kiss.  "Are you going to be back for that dinner thingy?"

"Yes, unfortunately."

Xander laughed.  "I know.  But at least I need to go."

"I could be at home soaking my calluses softer in the tub."  Xander grinned at him for that offer.  "Make sure none of the socially climbing bimbos and pretenders to the throne of concubines hit on you this time."

"I will."  He yawned.  "Check in with Chuck and then go to sleep?"

"That is definitely in my plans."  They swerved.  "John Daniel, did we forget to teach you how to drive?" he called.

"No, Ezra.  The truck in front of us lost something from the stack of stuff it's moving."

"Anything important or nice?"

"Nah, a few dresser drawers and some clothes."  He called in which truck those belonged to so they could be stopped and helped to pick up their own messes.  They made it back to the white house and the car went into the auto garage.  They walked in from there with the bags.

Xander blinked at Chuck.  "Sleepy.  'Mergencies?" he said through a yawn.

"No, Xander.  No emergencies yet.  Have a good nap."  Xander nodded, heading up to their suite.  Chuck grinned at Gibbs.  "Long trip?"

"Very long trip from the airport."  He shook his head.  "Are they always that gooingly cutesy?"

"Only when Xander's in trouble or he's tired," Evan said from behind them, walking around them.  "They back?"  Chuck smiled and nodded.  "Cool.  Let him get some sleep.  Gun range?"

"That minister is calling him the First Lady again."

"Oh, that idiot."  He got some coffee and went back to his office.  "Stupid budget bills are coming in."

"I'll warn him tomorrow," Chuck said.  He smiled at Gibbs.  "Hopefully it'll be a quiet night."

"I hope so too."  He went to do a round of checks then went to the security office.

Chuck checked on Evan then went home.  He didn't have to stay late unless it was an emergency.

***

Xander looked at the reporter that walked in with his press secretary.  "Are you infesting us?" he asked his staffer.

"Not funny, sir."

"None of them get sarcasm at all."  He looked at the reporter.  "What's wrong?"

"The Council's witches can do transgender pregnancies?"

Xander shrugged.  "I know Willow could before she lost her powers."  She gaped.  "One of the semi-terrorists that bothered the girls in Brazil kinda woke up a woman and no one can change her back that I know of.  As for pregnancy, yeah, there's all sorts of fertility rites and some of the older books do mention that one."

Her mouth fell open.  "Please tell me you were being sarcastic?"

"Yup.  If we wanted kids, we'd figure that out on our own.  Without press attention or help."  He smiled.

She sighed.  "I'll let that be known.  Some people want to storm the Council and make sure the witches won't do that."

His staffer coughed.  "The King of Saudi Arabia called to talk to Evan earlier because you being gay is problematic."

"Is that because one of my ex's is taking over a small town there?"

"I...."  He went to ask Evan that.  Evan found out what Xander had mentioned and called him back to point that out.  The staffer came back.  "He's decided, after hearing that she was your ex and the sort of woman you dated, that you being gay is *just* fine, sir."  He smiled.

Xander grinned back.  "Thanks.  Anything else I should hear?"

"Are you running for reelection?" the reporter asked.

Xander stared at her.  "Hell no!  Woman, do I look like a masochist or that I'm fucking insane?"  She gaped.  "Hell no!  We're finding someone to put ourselves behind.  You guys drive me fucking nuts and I can't even go for a walk with the dogs without someone having to hover."

"Oh.  Okay," she said quietly.  "I guess I can understand that."  She nodded.  "Which one are you planning on supporting?"

"Whichever one I like best."  He shrugged.

"Could that be Colonel Lorne?" she asked hopefully.

"You ask him if he wants to stay."

"Fuck no, I want to go home to my city and hide like John does from all the stalking reporters who won't leave me alone," Evan said from the hallway.  "It's bad enough you guys drove him into hiding for two years.  He couldn't even date thanks to you people.  Some of you are like those demonic leeches they found in the sewer system recently."  He looked at Xander from the doorway.  "Gun time?"

"Ten minutes to look over this current crappile you left for me?"

"Bring it and we'll talk in the car."

"One needs signed today."

"You have until midnight."  Xander nodded, bundling it up and following him out.  They stopped in the armory to get their gear and then to the cars.  Vin and Buck were with them today, both smirking.  "Yeah, yeah.  Sedan or what?"

"Limo," Vin ordered.  "That way you two can talk about presidential stuff in private."  Chuck jogged out, handing Xander a sealed note then ran back inside.

Xander opened it once they got into the limo.  "The head cleric in Iran is praising me for having Ezra after two of my former girlfriends tried to blow him up.  He agreed, it's healthier for all of us."  He handed that note over.

"Why are all your ex's in the middle east?" Evan asked.

"Either business or a vacation.  I'm not sure which."

"Huh."  He put it into his pocket.  Chris would want to keep track of them.  Evan shifted to sit beside him so they could go over things.  That one that needed to be signed they were both uneasy about but it really did need to be signed.  The language was bad though.  It was going to cause problems.  This is where a real politician could've handled it easier than they could.

***

Jon got beamed to the white house, looking at the people staring in awe.  "In for a Pentagon meeting.  The boss here?" he asked the guard.

"Gun range, Lieutenant Colonel.  With the Colonel."

"Cool.  Which one?"

He called and Chris came to drive him over.  "Thank you for trying to calm Xander down," Chris said once they were in the car.

"He'll be bouncy later," Jon reminded him.  "Even if I do distract him for a few hours."  They pulled onto the street.  "He in one of his creepy guy moods?"

"No, but he has scared the two senators he was meeting with on the gun range.  Apparently they forgot he was also a fighter."

Jon nodded.  "He's seen as softer since they got married.  Maybe it's because Ezra makes him giddy and do gooingly cutesy stuff."

"Definitely," Chris sighed.  "Ezra's not sure why."

"I think it's called being happy and Ezra's not allowing himself to be spoiled."  Chris glanced at him before turning onto a new street.  "Xander's one of those who tends to focus on their lover.  They get attention, spoiling stuff, all that.  Anya taught him that way."

"We've heard about her," he admitted, considering it.  "Yeah, this would probably go back to being raised by girls.  I'll remind him of that later."

"Ezra reads people pretty well.  He probably knows.  He may not understand.  Have him take lunch with Dawn and Buffy."

"That might help too."  He'd make that suggestion once he got back to the office.  Ezra was upset by all the spoiling.  Maybe Dawn could show him what Anya was like.  Some sort of witchly home movies or something.

***

Ezra watched his mate fuss at things and decided he had to break this streak before Xander fussed himself into the hospital.   He found his handcuffs and pounced Xander, locking him to the bed, staring at him.  Then he smiled and walked off to get something.

"For some reason being tied to the bed seems familiar," Xander quipped.

"I'll let you go in a moment," Ezra assured him.  The valet walked in and gave him a horrified look.  "He was fussing over everything and needed to calm down."  He found his book, got a glass of ice water, and went back into the bedroom.  He put the water on the coaster and sat beside Xander.  He opened his book and started to read quietly to him.  Xander slowly relaxed and shifted to put his head on Ezra's side.  Ezra petted him, holding the book with his free hand.  It was calming and Xander quit fussing.  It seemed to work very well.

The valet George left quietly, letting them have their strange personal time.  He would not gossip about that.  He was not a gossiping sort and it would violate the trust in his position.

Ezra smiled, turning the page with his thumb and going on.  Xander quickly succumbed to an absolutely calm state so he unlocked him.  Xander cuddled up better on his chest, listening to him.

The guard peeked in and then closed the door quickly since they were clearly doing couplish stuff.  He wouldn't even wonder about the set of handcuffs hooked to the bed.  He didn't want to know what the gay president did in his bedroom.

***

Chris watched Xander the next day, smiling at his calmer nature.  He looked at Ezra.  "You did good."

"I don't know what you're talking about."  He sipped his coffee.  "I simply read to him."

"Sometimes it's the simple things," Chris reminded him.  He went back on his rounds.  Ezra had duties in the white house and reports for the ATF to do.  It was causing a stink that he was still working.  The republicans were throwing virtual fits in the press again.  He watched Xander walk up the hallway reading something and followed.  It was his job.

"Sir," one of the reporters said.  She had been taking the long route to the briefing room. Chris moved up to arrest her.  "Just one question?" she begged.

"Make sure there's no weapons," Xander said.  He stared at her.  "What?"

"What are you going to do about your legacy of being a single term president and what's next?"

"Next, I'm going to hide like Sheppard is from you stalkers.  Right now, if they only want me for one term, that's the will of the people.  I did what they wanted me to do and did it the best I could.  I have many things I could do instead of listening to people whine at me."  She pouted.  "I'm not running for reelection.  If they want me back, they'll have to O'Neill me."

"Would you support Colonel Lorne running?"

"If that's what he wants.  Ask him if that's what he wants."  He walked off again.  "Up to you if she gets arrested, Chris, since she's out of bounds."

"Yes, sir."  He glared at her, making her wilt and whimper.  "I don't think that's going to work, ma'am."  He hauled her to the security office.   He snorted but took her to arrest her.  He went to warn Evan.  "People are thinking about letting Xander go hide and making you swear at them."

"I heard.  That's why I have a hangover," Evan said, looking at him.  "You can tell them all to bite my ass."

"I can't do that."  He walked off again.

Evan went to the briefing room, looking at the press secretary.  "I'm not taking control of the white house.  I will not accept a nomination.  I do not want to be president."  They all frowned at him.  "If you want Xander back, I'll stay, but if not I'm going to hide better than Sheppard is.  That way you guys don't stalk me around too."  He walked off again.

The press secretary coughed.  "He has a hangover," he murmured.  That got a nod from the group.

Xander leaned in.  "Ditto from me.  I'm not running, I don't care.  If people want me to stay they'd better O'Neill me or else I get to hide with my husband and my horses and my guns."  He walked off again.  "We'll cackle and have a lot of beer that night in celebration of having less people stalking us around."

The press secretary nodded.  "There are rumors going around about their personal habits," he said delicately.

"Are they doing kinky things?" one asked.

"No.  He's not like that."  He arranged his briefing.  "Let's get started.  Apparently the missing one isn't coming."  He read off the morning briefing and let them go.  He went to his office to call about that reporter but found a post-it on his door saying she had been arrested for trying to sneak around the white house.  That explained it very well to him.  She had run into the cranky people.  He called her boss so she could be bailed out.

***

Xander looked at Ezra and Evan.  "Okay, we're coming up on the midterms.  We have to decide if we're going to back someone.  Do we have any positive front runners?"

"The guy from Iowa," Evan said.  "He's not bad."

"Can they get behind him as a 'he'll protect us' sort?" Xander asked.  "They're saying you'll protect us better."

Evan shook his head.  "I don't think he can fight and I doubt he'd be able to prove he could.  You're right, they'll want someone like that."

"Have there been any hints from other world leaders who they might work well with?" Ezra asked.

"Cole, over in the UK, said that he wants to keep me and Evan.  He likes our senses of humor."  Evan slumped, shaking his head.  "Though he did point out there was nothing keeping John from coming back.  There's no prohibition for a former president getting elected after he's sat out a term."

"John would kill us," Evan assured him.

"Yeah, but what about Jack?" Xander offered with a grin.  "They liked Buffy as the first lady."

Evan smirked.  "The kids would tear up the garden."  Xander and Ezra both nodded that was true.  He shifted.  "How close are they to me?"

"They're fighting hard but they're being a bit underscored by the whole 'he's gay' thing," Xander said.  "But... we have an apocalypse next year."  Evan and Ezra both moaned.  Xander smirked.  "Yeah.  Which is a year before the election, but...."

"We're so screwed if we show up," Evan muttered, glancing at the door.   "Hey, Chuck?  Come in and shut the doors."  He came in and shut both the doors.  "Got any idea who we can support to take over?"

He considered it, sitting down on the couch next to Evan.  "The guy from Iowa?"

"They'll want someone who can protect them probably," Xander said.  "Unless we can show that we're all safe again."

"Which we are not," Evan said dryly.  "Did you get the briefing from Jon?"

"No.  I haven't seen Jon in days," Xander said dryly.  "Who this time?"

"Extremists."

"Ours or someone else's?" Ezra asked.

"Ours."

Xander stared at him.  "Was I perhaps briefed on them by a different person?"

"Maybe," he admitted.  "If so, wanna share?"

"I want what Jon knows."  He crossed his feet, sipping his coffee.  "We have an apocalypse battle next year, Chuck."

"So we have to find someone that the people will think can protect them," he said.  Xander nodded.  "Can we have them go to the battle with you?"

"Hopefully," Ezra agreed.  "That would give whoever a leg up.  It's too bad slayers are forbidden from politics," he told Xander.

"Buffy would never run."

"No, which is a pity."  He considered it.

"If we could get that blowhard from Missouri or the one from Louisiana to show up, it might help their bids for the job."

"Ezra, they might die," Xander said.  "Which I'm not sure if it's good or not."

"I'd like it if they did," Evan said dryly.  Xander grinned at him.  "What about females?"

"Rep Helen from Missouri?" Xander suggested.

"She's an ancient lady but she might treat the other world leaders like the misbehaving children they pretend to be," Ezra said.  "The one from Texas thinks he's as tough as any of us."

"I'm going to Texas in a few weeks to talk about education," Xander said.  "I've already arranged to spar with him for a children's charity down there."  They all smirked at him for that.  "He's been taking extra boxing lessons so I'll let him go for a while."  He sipped more of his coffee.  "You can tell you made it, Ezra.  It's that rich, dark stuff that makes me want to add it to dark chocolate."  Ezra smirked at him for that.

Evan got up to get himself and Chuck some.   He sipped and moaned.  "Ezra, you get some of the best coffee."  He handed Chuck his cup as he sat down.  "Any other governors who might run?"

"Usually by now we have at least six contenders," Ezra agreed.  "I'm starting to worry why we don't."

"So am I but the news channels are saying they're expecting a few to announce in the next few weeks."

Chuck got up to talk to the Chief of Staff.  He came back with a list.  "Who he thinks will be announcing."  He handed it over.

Xander looked and whimpered.  "Oh, goddess, we're screwed.  None of them are anything but politicians."  He handed them to Evan.  "Among them I'm not sure if there's someone we can get behind."

Evan read it, grimacing.  "Damn it."

Ezra took it to look over, frowning.  "The one from Colorado is running.  He's been campaigning quietly."  He looked up.  "He's fit, does know about military service though he was only Reserves due to his health.  I don't personally like him and some of his ideas make me shudder in horror."

"He's very anti demon," Xander said.  "He's been pushing for reservations of them."

Ezra nodded.  "If we could find someone honorable yet with his qualities it would be easier."

Xander considered it.  "Washington's?"

Evan shook his head.  "She's a flake."

"But she's got former military service, she knows about protecting everyone.  She's not anti anyone.  Her state has a good record and financial prosperity, even in the bad years."  Evan nodded at that.  "I think she's about to run into a term limit."

The Chief of Staff opened the connecting door, looking at them.  "Iowa is a nice guy."

"Who won't ever be seen as someone who can protect the people," Xander said.  "Plus, he's dumber than I am."

"Good point."

"I like Colorado's governor's qualities but hate his stances.  I like Washington state's governor but they might not like her."

He considered it.  "Maine?"

Xander shrugged.  "Never met her.  Or Vermont's."

"Huh."  He nodded.  "Let me draw up a list that you'd find good to follow in the O'Neill legacy.  Unless you want to nominate Lieutenant Colonel O'Neill?"

"No," Evan said.  "He'd shoot us all."

Xander nodded, leaning against Ezra's shoulder.  The Chief of Staff left them alone to talk.  "Maine is doing good and I haven't heard anything bad.  Vermont is known for some odd views now and then."

"It does have the only totally un-coordinated college anywhere," Ezra said.  "You design your entire college career outside of one mandatory class."

"I might've liked that," Xander admitted.

Ezra patted him on the knee.  "It's where you're getting those correspondence courses."

Xander grinned at him.  "Sneaky but thank you."

"Josiah reminded me of it."

"I'll thank him later."  He relaxed again.  "We're so screwed if we can't go," he said quietly.  "I'm going to drive everyone nuts."

Evan nodded.  "I'm already feeling my sanity slipping thanks to the politics.  Chuck, got any opinions about those?"

"I like Maine's governor.  She's a decent sort who doesn't draw a lot of attention.   She's settled yet she does know that there's dangers and she can handle it."  Xander nodded at that.  "Should we call her in for a talk?"

"I might schedule something up that way so we can pop in and talk," Xander offered with a small smile.  Chuck smiled, going to find a way to do that.  Xander looked at Evan.  "How is John doing?"

"He's having a lot of fun in Cleveland and the girls are rabid about his safety and privacy.  One of the young slayers actually bit a reporter."  Xander smirked at that.  He stood up.  "Let me know what you're thinking so we can look over the options."  He left them alone.

Xander took a kiss.  "I have something for you to do today."

Ezra smiled.  "Really?"

"Yup."  He winked and got up, grabbing something off the desk to hand over.  "For Chris's special task force even."

Ezra read the letter and nodded.  "That would be our job."  He stood up and took another kiss.  "Be safe, I'll see you for dinner."  He walked off to talk to them.  "Josiah, he said thank you for reminding me of that college."  He handed the letter to Vin with a smirk.

Vin read it and groaned.  "When did they let her out of jail?"  JD looked up and stared at him.  He handed it around.

Chris walked in when Ezra texted him.  He took the letter and snorted.  "We can handle that."  They left to go to the ATF main office to work on that problem.   They really needed to finish arresting and permanently putting away all of Xander's ex's.

***

Xander heard what he needed to know and had to do something that was going to make Ezra and Evan yell.  But it was the slayers so he had to.  He wasn't going to trust anyone else.  He could handle this and get home before most anyone heard.  He hoped.  He was just finishing laying his diversion when he ran into a military unit.  They all gave him horrified looks.  "Here about the slayer they captured, guys?" he asked casually, going back to what he was doing.

"Sir, you're the president," the team leader said.

"I know that, Sergeant."  He looked up and grinned.  "They have a slayer."

"Um, sir, there's drug dealers in there that are trading chemical weapons," the team leader said.

"Yeah that too."  He finished up.  "Okay, I have myself a diversion.  If you guys are coming, come on."  He looked around and then set it off.  The guards inside headed to the opposite side of the compound for the most part.  They snuck toward the building and ran into a few guards being tense.  The guards shot at them.  Xander shot them back.  His was silenced so more guards didn't come running.

One of the military guys went down with a wound on his arm.  Xander took off his necklace and covered the guy's mouth before dropping it on it.  "It's going to hurt like a bitch but it'll stop the bleeding in a minute," he soothed.  The guy did scream, a lot, but the wound closed.  Xander put the amulet around the guy's neck.  "Hold that for now, it'll make sure it won't break open."  The others stared at him.

"I got it before going to Africa.  It heals most small things almost instantly.  It kept me from drawing things with scratches."  He got up and helped the guy up.  They continued and found the house.  The military guys went after their target.  Xander went after the slayer in custody.  He found her in a bedroom, chained to the bed, nearly naked.

He took off his overshirt and handed it over once she was free.  "C'mon."  She nodded, following him out of the house through a window and out into the woods.  There was more opposition this time.  Xander watched but the military guys weren't coming.  Xander groaned, handing her his knife and a spare gun.  "Go."

"They'll shoot you and you're the president now, Xander," she hissed in Spanish.

He nodded.  "I have military guys in there who weren't here for you."  She nodded and he pointed.  "Start the car for me."  He tossed her the keys and headed back toward the house.  He heard the fighting and pulled out the spare explosives he had.  They wouldn't have packed the chemical weapons in the garage and the cars were pretty nice.  He resisted his old urge to loot the bad guys and just blew up the classic cars.  Pity about the 1938 sports car but it went up in a pretty fireball.  The guards came running and Xander shot most of them.  The head guys came out and the military guys got them.  He nodded.  "We're clear, guys.  Need more help?"

"Sir, how much explosive are you carrying?" the one with his amulet asked.

Xander checked.  "Only another five pounds.  Need it?"  They shook their heads slowly.  "Be safe, guys, and you did not see me.  That's an order."  He jogged off, heading for the car.  She was slumped in the driver's seat, eyes closed.  He tapped before he opened the door, that way she wouldn't shoot him.  He closed the door and looked at her.  "Want me to drive?"

"Please," she agreed.  She shifted over his lap and he slid underneath to get into the driver's seat.  "I feel like shit, Xander."

"I know, Clorice."  He drove them off.  "Want the local hospital?"

"Please don't.  They'll ask bad questions and the local cops will get involved."

"Okay."  He called.  "Dawn, Clorice and I are in your car in the Nevada mountains.  Clorice needs medical somewhere safe."  He listened.  "Thank you."  He hung up and the car flashed around them.  He parked in the open spot, staring at his buddy.  He got out and walked around to help her out, picking her up.  "Docs?"

"Ambulance is on the way," she said, coming over to help him.  "C'mon, Clorice.  The kids are being corralled by Sam so you can have the couch until the ambulance gets here."  She and Xander tucked her in.  Xander took the weapons back.   The ambulance driver walked in with his kit.

"I just rescued her from someone who had her chained to a bed, guys," Xander said quietly and calmly.  "She's one of my slayers."

"Yes, sir.  Local?" the paramedic asked.

"No.  Someone's handling that though."  That got a nod and he came over to look her over.  "That's my shirt.  She can keep it for now."  The paramedic nodded and got his coworker to bring in the gurney.  Xander smiled and petted her hair gently.  "Want one of us to go with you?"

"No, I'll be okay," she said, trying not to sniffle.

"Bullshit," Dean said as he walked in.  "I'll go.  Xander, people are already wondering about you being out of DC."

Xander shrugged.  "They had her hostage."  He helped the paramedic lift her, looking at Dean.  "You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm good."  He walked out with her, letting her hold his hand.  Once they were in the ambulance he looked at her.  "When you're out of the exam, you can cry on me like Dawn does during mood swings."  She smiled weakly and nodded.  "It'll be rough for the next few and then we'll do what we can to help you.  Including a good counselor.  One of Gunn's people from the gang just graduated with their counseling degree.  She's seen it before."

"Thank you, Dean.  He was like an avenging angel.  A really pissed off avenging angel."

"Yeah, he was totally pissed off when he heard you had been taken.  They weren't giving him any information in case he decided to do something totally stupid yet heroic and rescue you himself."

"There were military guys there," she offered.

"Good!  That showed sense that he brought backup this time."  She shook her head.  "Damn it.  I don't want to nark to Ezra."  She gave his hand a squeeze.  "We'll deal.  You know that.  If they aren't dead, Buffy's going to rip their heads off and piss down their throats."

"Yeah.  He barely didn't."  Dean smirked at her.  They pulled into the hospital and Dean walked with her.  "No, I need him," she said when the nurse tried to get Dean to wait.

"Someone rescued her.  She's one of our slayers," Dean told the nurse.  She nodded, letting him come in and calm her down again.  The paramedic reported and the nurse got what she'd need for the exam.  Dean did get kicked to the hall for that but as soon as she was done he got let in again.  It kept her calm.  With the injuries to her wrists and the broken ribs she had, she got admitted and Dean held her while she cried until the therapist got called down to help her.  It was all he could do to help but it kept her calmer.

***

Xander looked at Dawn, who was giving him a dirty look.  "What?" he demanded.

"The president is not supposed to go on slayer rescues."

"Fortunately I'll only be the president for another two years."  He used his transport stone to get back to the apartment.  He went to take a quick shower and change back into his everyday clothes.  Ezra was back at the ATF office today so no one was going to realize he had done more than take a long nap.  Which was sweet.

***

That night, the Sergeant reported to his commander.  "Sir."  He saluted.

"At ease, Sergeant.  How did it go?"

"We confiscated all the vials of germs and various nasties, sir, and the president made sure that Mays got treated when he got grazed."

"Excuse me?" he demanded.

"Sir, apparently they had a slayer hostage."

"So the president.  Our president?  Went on a rescue?"

"Yes, sir.  We caught him finishing his diversion plan.  He went in with us, let us handle our task while he handled his, and then evacuated her to his vehicle.  During the run in, Mays got hit on the arm but the President used some sort of necklace that healed it.  By the time we got out, it was almost fully healed."  He held up the necklace.  "He said he got it in Africa to heal the scratches that could draw things, sir."  He put it on the desk.  "When we were pinned down, the president came back to blow up their garage to create a new diversion.  When I asked how much more explosives he was carrying he offered me the last five pounds.  I said we probably shouldn't need it.  Per orders I turned over the vials to the waiting FBI agents.  I did not mention our helper to them."

The commander nodded.  "All right.  Is Mays fine?"

"Yes, sir, fully healed long before we made it back to base."  He handed over the report he carried.  "I did not mention him in the official report.  I figured it would get me yelled at plus he ordered me not to tell anyone he was there.  I am disobeying in this debrief only so it's fully known about but does not make it into the official record."

"Not you, but he will be.  Thank you for that notice, Sergeant."  He read over the report.  "Good work.  The slayer and the president?"

"He disappeared from the road about as we made it back to the truck, sir.  We saw a twinkle where it probably was but nothing conclusive."

"So he evacuated her to safety," he decided.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, sir."  He saluted and left.

The commander picked up the necklace, noticing his papercut was healing.  "That's a handy thing to have in the field," he decided.  He got up and went to find someone he knew would be able to tell someone else that bad news.  "Lieutenant," he said, startling him enough that he jumped up and saluted.  "At ease."  He stared at him.  "You were in Cheyenne Mountain's projects, yes?"

"Yes, sir, last year," he said.  "I did a short stint but I couldn't pass the physical necessities for an away team.  They needed commando skills and I'd have to do SERE training first.  Why?"

"I need you to hand two things to someone there who might get a message to someone higher."

"Something bad, sir?"  He held up the necklace.  "I've seen one of those before.  It's to heal small wounds."

"Yes, it's the president's."  The man nodded once and found his phone on the table, calling someone.  He smiled.  "Than you, Lieutenant."

"Not a problem, sir."  He said something quietly and hung up.  "Sir, one of the senior team members that was over our initial training will be here in a few hours by beaming."

"That's very helpful.  Bring him to me please."  He walked off to wait in his office.  This was going to give someone heartburn.  The Lieutenant brought in the higher up, Colonel Mitchell, when he got there.  "Colonel."

"Commander," he said, shaking his hand.  "What happened?"  He explained what the nice sergeant had admitted to him.  He handed over the necklace.  Cam nodded and said he'd handle it.  He got beamed back to Atlantis and went to find John Sheppard.  "Sheppard," he said when he found him.  "I know you're stationed in Cleveland half the time but can you slip to DC to hand back something?"

"Sure, what?" he asked.  He looked at the necklace that got handed to him.  "That's Xander's.  How did we get it?"  Cam told him.  John just nodded and smirked.  "I'll make sure he gets it back, Cam.  Thank you."

"Have fun, sir.  He sounds like he should've been one of us."  He walked off happier.

John got beamed to DC, startling Chuck.  "Is Xander still here?"

"No, sir.  He's at dinner with his husband.  Colonel Lorne is still here in his office.  Unless it's an emergency?"

"No.  I'm going to commit treason by paddling the hell out of the president."

Chuck winced.  "I can get Agent Larabee back with Agent Gibbs to meet with Colonel Lorne, sir.  Just in case it causes us protests or something."

"Sure, please do."  Chuck paged him and Chris stomped back in from outside.  John walked them to the VP's office, staring at Evan.  He let the necklace dangle from his finger.

"How did you get Xander's healing necklace?" Evan asked with a grin.

"Were you hiding something about a kidnaped slayer?"

"Yup."

"Should've worked harder."  He handed it over.  "She's somewhere but rescued.  That little thing managed to heal a field injury to a team member's arm."

Chris cleared his throat.  "The kid did what?"

"Reverted back to his training," Evan said dryly.  "How bad?"

"From what got told to Mitchell, arm.  The thing was fully healed.  Xander had a lot of explosives."

Evan nodded.  "Okay then.  Are we medaling the team?"

"I have no idea."  He smirked.  "I was told the sergeant in charge did not include him in the official report."

"Wonderful."  He looked at Chris since he was growling.  "He'll hide from you."

"He can't hide from Ezra."  Gibbs snickered at that.  "Thank you, Colonel Sheppard, for that enlightening information.  I'll make sure Agent Standish hears."

John smirked.  "Thank you.  Maybe he can calm him down too."

"He won't be sitting tomorrow," Chris assured him.  He walked off, going up to the door to the apartment.  He knocked and Ezra answered it.  He held up the necklace.  "He left this with the team he ran into while saving a slayer's life."

"Interesting news."  Ezra took the necklace to look at.  "Where was this done?"

"Nevada from what Sheppard heard."

"Ah.  I thought he was taking a nap."

"Apparently it was with a lot of explosives."

"I'll make sure the bed doesn't have any tonight."  He closed the door and turned around.  "Xander?" he asked casually.

He looked over from cooking.  "What?"

"Did you do anything today?"  He walked into the kitchen.

"Um, not really.  Why?"  Ezra held up the necklace and he winced.  "They had Clorice."

"It was dangerous," he said calmly.

"I was fully planned and all that."

"It was dangerous," Ezra repeated.

"Very little."

"Were we injured?"

"No."

"Did we perhaps take some explosives I did not know you had?"

"Yes."

"Is there more?"

"No comment?"  Ezra glared.  Xander backed up but he was trapped by the sink.  "Umm.... you're pissed," he sighed.

"You risked yourself.  You could have gotten a lot of backup.  We would have went with you.  The whole team would have backed you up."  He moved closer and put the necklace back over his head.  "You are in quite a bit of trouble for going alone."

"But...."

Ezra covered his husband's mouth with a hand.  "No.  You are going to be hearing about this for *years*.  If you had told us I would have went.  My whole team would have helped her.  We would not have let her suffer."  He stared into the brown eye and patch.  "I would have been with you if you had trusted me with that mission," he said calmly.

"I couldn't risk you."

"Yet you went to risk yourself."

"It's my duty."

"You are on reserve status for such things," he reminded him.  "I can only think you did not tell me because you did not trust me or because you knew you'd be in yelled at."

"Mostly because I'd be yelled at and you were busy on a case.  Or else I might've told you.  You had to do that and it was important.  I've handled similar things by myself before."  He hopped up onto the counter.  "If you hadn't been on such an important case I would have told you."

"Just me?"  Xander nodded.  "Why not the others?"

"I'm not real used to having a team with me," he said dryly.  "It's not something I can really fit myself into.  Especially since yours is so scarily efficient and wouldn't have room for me.  Plus, Chris would bitch and complain for weeks ahead of it."

"Perhaps," he admitted.  "I would have told them."

"I realize that."

"Why didn't you go yesterday?"

"Because they were totally pissing me off by not telling me.  They told Evan."

Ezra sighed, moving closer.  "That is because they know your first instinct is one that was dangerous, slightly foolhardy, and could have gotten you killed."  He stared at him.  "Which none of us want.  I'm sure they did the same thing to Sheppard a number of times."  Xander shook his head.  "You're certain?"

"Yeah.  They never would've kept that from Jack either.  Just me because apparently my eye is too big of a handicap even though I've worked with it gone for years.  I did bigger things when I was in Africa by myself because I had to."

Ezra nodded.  "While that may be true, you do have people now that will go with you."

"Which I'm really not used to and they'd all complain I should sit at home like I'm an invalid or I'm too old to handle things.  People are even complaining that I'll have to jump into the next apocalypse battle.  I went to them when I was the VP and there wasn't that much complaint.  Yet suddenly, I'm not good enough.  It's like Buffy's 'you're normal' syndrome came back and bit me again."  He hopped down and walked around his husband, going to sulk in the bedroom with the dogs.  He slammed the door and locked it.

"Xander, I was not going to say anything about any of that," Ezra complained.  He turned off the cooking food and followed.  The dogs actually growled until he stared them down.  "Go lay down so we may fight."  They ran off.  "Stay out of the kitchen."  He closed the door more gently, staring at his miserably curled up mate.  "I was not going to say anything of the like."  He walked over to sit in front of him.  "Have I ever judged you unfit to do anything?"

"You were going to."

"No.  I was going to remind you that some of us do not see you that way.  I'm quite sure that you will jump into the next apocalypse battle, even if it will fray my nerves to the point of snapping."  Xander looked at him.  "The same as I'm sure that you'd do similar things if I was in danger."  Xander nodded slowly.  "You must learn that you can trust some people, Xander.  We would have went with you, backed you up to the fullest extent.  We would have went in to help you save her and all that."

"I ...."

"I know, you've never worked in a team environment.  My team is not like your former one."  Xander slumped but hugged his pillow better.  "You have to know that."

"They're still avoiding telling me things."

"I will be adjusting that attitude tomorrow."  Xander gave him a hopeful look.  "However you are still in trouble for not telling me.  Relationships cannot have such problems and work.  We need to communicate to make this relationship successful and comfortable.  Though now I know why you volunteered to cook tonight."  He shifted to cross his feet.  "Get out of the kitchen!" he yelled when he heard the clang of a pot hitting the floor.  The dogs ran for the sitting area.  He rolled his eyes.

"They're getting old, Ezra," Xander said quietly.

"I know.  We'll handle it when and if something should happen.  We can grieve together."  Xander nodded, shifting closer.  He petted him but didn't let him cuddle.  "Were you injured?"

"No."

"Did you have to harm anyone?"

"Yup."

"Do you wish to talk about it?"

"No.  No more than I do the stuff in Africa or any of that."

"How about talking about why you feel they're avoiding telling you things?"

"It's always been that way.  They forget everything I've ever done, anything I've ever handled, and treat me like I'm some child that they have to protect."

"Which is not good.  I worry sometimes that they'll get you killed or you'll die proving to them that you are just as good as you know you are."

"They probably wouldn't care."

"I would."

Xander looked up at him.  "I'm sorry.  I shouldn't...."

Ezra gave his hair a yank.  "Yes, you should talk to me about these things.  That is one thing a spouse is for."  Xander looked confused so he petted him again.  "Spouses share problems to make them easier and to help find solutions."  Xander nodded.  "If you had told me, I would have went with you and I wouldn't have told the Council people.  My team definitely but not them.  I do not like how they treat you sometimes and I've made myself plain more than once to some of the younger brats they house."

"You did?" he asked quietly.

"I have and made my feelings known to Mrs. O'Neill as well."  He let Xander cuddle his stomach.  "I'm still upset you did not tell me."

"I'm sorry."

"It's nothing that shall happen again."

"No, I'll tell you from now on, Ezra."

"Thank you."  He petted him again, calming him down.  He knew how much that attitude hurt Xander.  "Allow me to talk to the others first.  That way they can be straightened out as well."

"They're probably at the farm bitching."

"Probably," he agreed.  He looked at his mate.  "Come on.  We'll go for a night time ride."

"Chris said it's not safe."

"I doubt anyone is going to try anything tonight."  Xander nodded, getting up with him and changing into jeans and a dark t-shirt.  They left together, Ezra driving, and spent a quiet trip out to the farm.  Xander went into the barn to get their horses ready while Ezra walked inside.  "He was not sure that we wouldn't treat him like those blasted, spoiled girls of his do.  That we would see him yet again as helpless and unable to do things."

Buck shook his head.  "No one sees him that way."

"The whole Council does," Vin said.  "They were talking about the kidnaped slayer to Evan to keep him in the dark.  That's why he didn't tell us?"  Ezra nodded.  "Why didn't he tell you?"

"He thought I was busy and he knew I'd tell you, which would bring condemnation on him for daring to do what he's done many times in the past.  Which they have never acknowledged and even the other higher ups have done the same thing.  Which does bother the hell out of me if we were not aware of it."

"I can understand that but we would've went," Chris said.

"Yes, but he's not used to having backup.  Remember, he had to do things that the girls totally discounted and then yelled at him about having to do.  He was not secure in the knowledge that we wouldn't tie him up in a closet and treat him like he's an invalid."

"We know he's not!" Chris said.

"He doesn't know that from you," JD said quietly.  "Does he?"

"No.  Half the time you treat him like the girls do.  Which is unable to do most anything to protect himself."

"That's part of the job," Josiah said.  "Though I can see his point."

"We did not treat O'Neill or Sheppard or even Colonel Lorne that way," Ezra said dryly.  "We do treat him as such because he was not formally trained and is missing an eye."

Chris swore and nodded.  "We do guard him more heavily because of that."

"He doesn't have the experience we have," Nathan said.

Ezra stared at him.  "What do you call his time in Africa, traveling and training slayers?  He was alone for half of it."  Nathan swallowed.  "He handled many demons and humans causing problems because he had to or he ran into them.  Xander has always been a problem solver and now we're causing him more problems.  It's no wonder he ducks our protective instincts now and then."  He straightened up.  "We are spending some quiet time.  The dogs are back at the white house."  He left them to talk alone for now.  His husband needed some support and careful, gentle retraining to trust others.

"Xander's never trusted anyone I bet," JD said.  "If Buffy and Willow are his best friends and they treated him like dirt for being a guy, then he probably only trusts himself."

"With his past, it's not unlikely," Josiah agreed.  "As a profiler, I'd peg him to have a lot more problems than he does.  Or at least more than he seems to have."

"Do we think it hurt Ez?" Vin asked quietly.

"No, I think Ezra may be the best cure to the problem.  The boy hasn't been close to anyone in years."  He looked around.  "We do treat him like he's some official stuffed shirt who has no idea what he's doing."

"I try not to," Chris admitted.  "That's why I let him out with a single guard."

"And yet, whenever he acts to guard himself, like he's used to, you ground him," Vin said.  He sat up.  "We've got to figure this out.  Ez looked pissed at us and at his boy."

"I think they probably had a bad talk," Chris admitted.  "I let him talk to the kid about it."

"He's nearly forty," JD said.  "When does he stop being a kid?"

"About the same time you do," Nathan told him.  "When you quit bouncing around because you ate too much sugar."  He looked around.  Josiah looked contemplative.  Chris and Vin were staring out toward the barn.  JD and Buck were both looking sulky but like they were thinking.  "I guess they're out for a ride?"

"Yup," Chris agreed.  "If Companion was darker they'd be easier hid."

"We need to sit down and teach the kid how to work in the team environment," Josiah said.

"I can't see as how we'd need him to," Nathan said.  "Even when they do retire to Denver."

Buck looked at him.  "Do you honestly think if someone hurts Ez he's going to sit at home and mope?" he asked.

Nathan shuddered.  "No."

"Then yeah, we need to teach him how to work with the team," Vin agreed.  "Tomorrow?"

"Yup," Chris agreed.  "Anyone want to follow them?"

"I'm fairly certain that if something happens, he'll be okay," Josiah said.  "Ezra and he guard each other like they're precious.  That's one reason why they work."

"Okay, we'll teach the kid how to act with a team backing him up since he's never known.  How're we going to stop the others from yelling at him?"

"I think you and O'Neill need to have a heart-to-heart," JD said.

"Him or her?" Buck asked him.

"Both.  Who told us?"

"Sheppard.  He told me, Gibbs, and Lorne."

"Gibbs will follow on this.  He reads some people pretty well and he knows the kid doesn't need heavy guards," Buck said.  "DiNozzo reads him real well.  They're a lot alike."

"I'll talk to Lorne, you talk to O'Neill and Sheppard?" Josiah suggested to Chris, who nodded.  "Tonight?"

Chris looked at the time.  "Yeah, that'll work."  He called the comm officer to get him to them so they could talk about 'security matters'.   He landed in the front area of the house.  Jack O'Neill came out.  "We gotta talk before I chew your wife a new one to stop her from complaining to her former best friend."

"I heard how stupid he was."  Jack leaned on the porch support.

"He did things the same way you would."

"Without the same training.  He only has memories."

"You know, it was pointed out the kid probably got some extra on the job training in Africa handling issues."  Jack stiffened.  "He didn't take anyone because he knew we'd bitch him out and treat him like he's helpless.  The same as your wife has for years."

Jack nodded.  "I've talked to her about that."

"Ezra had to calm him down earlier.  He wasn't looking happy when he showed up.  He didn't tell us so we couldn't back him up because he expected us to act the same damn way."

Jack nodded.  "I can see that point.  It was still dumb."

"If all you know is single, commando style combat maneuvers what else are you going to do?  We might never have known if he hadn't run into a military unit."

"You think there's been others?"

"Rumors of what he's handled in Africa are conflicting, General, but a lot of it said he was a problem solver there too.  No matter what sort of problem he ran into.  Including minor rebellion groups and things going for the girls or the people he was around."

"I know he blew up some that were coming for them."  He came down the stairs.  "I'm not going to yell at the kid but he still has to take it a bit easier."

"Would you have?"

Jack shook his head.  "Probably not," he sighed.  "And I would've paid the price for it."

"You have more self esteem than the kid does.  You had better parents, friends that backed you up, and a team you could count on.  He had your wife and Willow."

"I know.  He good?  Injured?"

"No, just upset that Ezra and he had to talk.  They're off for a ride and I doubt it's going to be happy tomorrow.  So can you quit moving the problems around him so he doesn't hear?"

"That was not my decision."

"It hurt him."

"I ...."  He looked inside, finding his wife watching.  He waved her out.  "You completely and totally upset Xander by not telling him."

"He's...."

Chris glared at her.  "He's seen more combat than you.  He's handled humans and demons causing problems.  I doubt today's was the first time he handled an issue for the slayers that you totally discounted or ignored either because he's a guy or because he's missing an eye."  She flinched.  "He's not helpless and he keeps proving that to you and him.  Only you never learn.  Then you hurt him more and others have to deal with it."

"He can't do those things," she said firmly.

"Really?  And yet today he helped take out a few fairly notorious drug and weapons dealers to save one of you girls."

She snorted.  "He probably dated them."

"No.  Not in the least."  He stared at her.  "Your girl would've been really dead, horribly dead, if he hadn't stepped in."

"We were going to rescue her tomorrow," she defended.  "We were gathering plans and all that."

"Has it escaped your notice that he did the same thing before?" Jack asked her.  She glared at him.  Which meant he was sleeping on the couch.  Oh well.  "He rescued slayers in Africa too, Buffy.  Against bigger threats than those today.  With a lot less support.  He doesn't trust anyone to back him up because you keep putting him down.  He could've died today."  She flinched and looked down.  "I think it's time you mend that fence.  He's a good friend to have and you haven't appreciated him in years."

"He's still normal!"

"So am I," Jack said dryly.  "And yet I've been in every single apocalypse battle.  He's been in all but two.  That one you talked me into keeping him out of probably would've went easier with him there because the girls listen to him about battle plans."

"I'm not talking about this.  He retired the day he got too injured."  She stomped off.

Chris looked at him.  "I'm sorry, but I've got to pick a side."

"I agree," Jack sighed.  "Even if it does piss her off.   You going to tell Sheppard to lay off too?"

"Yup."  Jack called for John to join him.  Chris glared at him.  "You just had to ruin what little peace he's managed to build?  The little bit of self esteem?"  John flinched and winced.  "We should've seen this earlier.  He's a lot like you two only with less formal training.  It's why he still swings his axe funny."

"I only meant for someone to stop him before he gets killed and Evan has to step in."

"So you don't value him as a friend at all?" Jack asked dryly.

"What?  No, of course I do!"

"You just put Evan ahead of him, Sheppard, decided he was less worthwhile."

"No...  Damn it, I was with Lorne in Pegasus.  I know how he thinks.  We're tight because of the shared combat.  You know that makes people different."

"Yeah, same as I know no one shared his with him," Chris said.  John slumped.  "Quit sending information around him.  He always finds out and then he has to react because people think he's fucking helpless.  Again.  You treat him like he's an invalid and helpless just like his wife does.  The same as Willow does."

"I've tried to get that down when we were in DC."

"Well, now it's back," Chris said.  "So today he saved a team's lives by helping."  John nodded.  "And you treated him like a kid playing dress up by running and nagging."

"Do we think he's really hurt?" Jack asked.

"With the look on Ezra's face, yeah.  It's not a happy night for them.  They're off on a midnight ride."

"I'll apologize tomorrow.  I know he can do things like that even though he shouldn't have to."

"Buffy was going to take some of the girls tomorrow to rescue her," Jack said.  "Most of the time she treats me the same way."

Chris nodded.  "I know it's a long term problem.  That's probably one of the reasons he went to Africa, to get away from them because they wouldn't respect his grief."

"Yeah, that's one thing he did say," John sighed.  "I didn't mean to piss him off."

"You didn't.  You hurt him," Chris said.  "Not like he got trained that he could trust people or his team."

"We trusted him plenty," Buffy complained, stomping back out again.  "I think you need to go."

"How did you trust him?" Chris asked her.  "By shoving him away?  Treating him like he wasn't useful."

"He wasn't!"

"And yet he made your battle plans and the explosives for the graduation battle," Jack said.  She glared at him.  "I hate to say it but you treat me the same way and I've had a hell of a lot of training, more than he gave your girls."

"We're slayers.  We have gifts."

"That means you're still not bulletproof and you're not any better trained than Xander was when he started until Xander trained them," John said.  "I've had to undo a crapload of spoiled girl moments out of the younger girls because they think being a slayer means they're next to the Goddess."  She growled.  "It's the truth.  You're just as vulnerable as the rest of us, even with the faster healing."

"For that matter, Xander heals faster than you do," Jack told her.  "That one girl Amanda, her liver damaging hit healed weeks later than Xander's did when he got out of the hospital."  She gave him a confused look.  "She had the same sort of injury.  It took her thirteen days longer to get out of the hospital, with the same doctors he had.  That faster healing works on some things like broken bones but not everything."

"That must've been the mermaid taint," she said.

"Then he's definitely not a fully normal human," Chris said.  She glared at him again.  "If he was normal, he wouldn't have that, would he?  The same as John's counted as more than human by the Council because of his bug taint.  You treat Xander like that because you grew up with him and you were spoiled then and too spoiled now to see that he's not what you thought.  You made an opinion based on being a slayer instead of a friend.  I'm sure your mother hated that attitude."  She slumped, stomping back inside.

"I'm pretty sure she did too," Dawn said from behind them.  "Clorice will be fine," she told Jack.  "I came to give Buffy that information and on who sold her.  That demon's going down and Connor will see to it with Dean."  She handed over the report.  "What's going on?"

"There's been some fussing at Xander because he handled it," John told her.

Dawn nodded.  "He's handled a bunch of situations since he got back from Africa and took over Cleveland.  He's went on at least ten rescues I know of because he needed something magical at the time or to be blipped out.  So?"

"Did he ever have backup?" Chris asked her.

"I offered and he refused, told me I was too vulnerable most of the time because of what I am and I'm not used to being in real battles outside of magical support.  Which I agreed with."  Buffy opened the door to stare at her.  "You didn't realize that's how we got Faith back both times she got captured?  That Xander actually came in limping with one of them and Andrew wanted to fuss but Xander wouldn't let him?  You and Willow did bad things to him, Buffy.  I love you because you're my sister but where Xander's concerned you're still a bitch."  She looked at Jack again.  "The guys who had her?"

"Reports state that they're fully arrested," John told her.  She smiled.  "She need more help?"

"One of Gunn's people just got her counseling degree and she's from the streets so she's seen it before.  She's helping her.  Andrew's already sent her stuff to nibble on in the hospital tonight and dinner.  She's letting him fuss and I think that's a good thing.  She'd probably let Dean, Sam, Connor, and Xander all fuss because the girls trust them implicitly to help them, back them up, and to be there when they need them.  It's who they are."

Jack nodded.  "It is.  How many more do you think there were?"

"I don't know.  I'm kinda glad he didn't even hesitate to assign someone for the one that happened right before the wedding.  He didn't pause, just assigned a team to go."

Jack nodded.  "So you think over twenty?"

"By the records Giles keeps there's been sixteen kidnaping attempts.  That does not count the ones in Africa that he helped with, slayer and not, or the ones he handled without reporting.  Those are from the houses run by the other slayers, usually beta slayers.  Faith didn't tell him anything about hers and I know they're not on the books.  Mine wasn't and Xander nearly destroyed that asshole into molecules."

"When were you kidnaped again?" Buffy demanded.

Dawn stared at her.  "Contrary to my first few years of life," she said dryly.  "I've only been snatched six times since Sunnydale fell in.  Five of those by people who wanted the power in my blood and the other wanted me as a blood sacrifice.   That was the one that Xander came back from Africa to stop in the most harsh and mean way possible.  I nearly cried about how mean he was.  And no, I'm not counting the NID thing where he took out ten agents by himself while in hyena mode."  Buffy shuddered.  "I think maybe you should talk to someone who handles combat stress, Buffy.  Mom would be really pissed that you went back to that same point where you shoved Xander away."  She stared her down.  "Don't make me do a seance."

"I won't."  She looked at her husband.  "You're still a normal guy and not a slayer."

"You're right, I'm a guy and a general who has decades of experience that you won't let me help you by using because I've got a dick."

"That's worse than Carter's 'no, I can do it' thing," John agreed.  "Some of them even tried to do it to Ronon.  He survived the wraith culling his whole world.  He was a training tool for the wraith for seven years, all by himself for those years.  He killed more wraith than I did by himself, alone, usually with a knife."  She shuddered.  "The girls are spoiled.  The ones from Africa never treated him like that.  They saw what he could do."

She nodded.  "I'll work on it," she muttered.  Dawn bounced over to give her a hug.  "Thanks, Dawnie."

"Not a problem as long as your head comes out of your butt again."  She gave her a pointed look.  "Because that could seriously hurt Xander and Ezra's relationship too.  Remember, he never had a good role model outside of Mom's."

"I know.  Thank you."  She nodded and left.  She looked at her husband.  "Is there...."

"Someone at the mountain I trust?  Yeah.  We can both talk to him since I do about every week."  She relaxed and smiled, nodding some.  He looked at Chris and Sheppard, both of whom John sent home.  He walked up the porch, looking at her.  "We'll handle this last childish thing you have to grow out of," he said quietly.  "You'll make it right and it'll go back to being more friendly again."

"I'm not sure I can."

"He'll listen.  It's the sort of guy Xander is."  She nodded, giving him a hug.  "Let's go finish the dishes so we can put the heathens down."  She nodded, walking him inside to help him with that.  He understood both sides of it but it still sucked when she did it to him.

***

Vin met them at the barn when they rode back together.  "You have three meetings in four hours," he said.  "You should probably nap on the way back."  He held Companion's head so Xander could dismount.

"They're all phone conferences.  I can do it from the porch," Xander countered.

"No, they're all in person but one," Ezra corrected, smiling at him.  "Though I doubt they would like to see you so under dressed."  He dismounted and they put up their horses then he drove them back to the white house.  They had caught a nap while talking in the woods but otherwise they were both exhausted.  Xander got another twenty minutes but it wasn't peaceful sleep.   Ezra got him out of the car and into the white house, ignoring Evan for the moment.

"You're late," Chuck said, looking him over.

"I was out riding while we talked."  He walked into his office, staring at the man waiting on him.  "Sorry, we were having a lifetime movie sort of talk while we went for a ride earlier."  He sat down behind his desk, finding the folder he needed.  "We were going to talk about jobs?" he said, looking at him.

"You're wearing jeans and a dirty t-shirt in this office?" he demanded.

"I just got back from exercising my horse.  Not like I was going to make you wait longer so I could shower, dry the dogs off since they'd want to help, eat something, and change clothes.  Now, job creation?  Is it slowing down again?"

"No real politician would ever show in the white house dressed like that."

"I'm not a politician. I've never been a politician.   I might have to shoot myself if I ever became a politician."  The man glared.  "If you're that worried that wearing a pair of jeans lowered my IQ, we can amend my schedule so we talk another day.  Last chance.  Jobs?"

"The private sector is starting to weaken based on spending again."

Xander nodded.  "Okay.  Is this seasonal and will it pick up again or is it pointing at a larger problem?"

"We're divided on that."  He stared at him.  "You're awfully insulting to me."

"I'm awfully insulting to most everyone who can't understand that I'm not a politician.  I got elected to protect people, not to glad-handle and make people happy with me.  I'm like a soldier only I was never formally trained and we don't have ranks or stars or bars or anything on our collars."

"You weren't at the last apocalypse."

"That was Mrs. O'Neill's decision.  She thought they didn't need more help, they could solve it in other ways."  He looked at him.  "I was still going to go but she told me they'd call if they needed more physical help instead of higher energy weapons help since I'm good at artillery but I'm still learning higher energy weapons work and methodology."  The senator shuddered.  "Do we think the private sector is going to be offset by the summer spending season when kids get out of school and everyone goes on vacation?"

"I think it'll pick up some but not as much as usual.  We might be missing about three percent."

"Okay, so if states start hyping all the neat things that they hold then that could increase tourism spending and probably make some new jobs, or at least create overtime?"  That got a slow nod.  "Maybe they should start hyping that now and we can see if there's a way to increase school spending."

"That might help.  The major automakers wanted a slight tax concession this year so they could offer steeper discounts."

Xander shook his head slowly.  "No.  Sorry.  They're already offering the usual summer discounts.  How would that be different?"  He gaped.  "They're already back on the 'no money down, zero percent interest for so many months' plan.  What else are they going to do?"

"Well, I'm not sure."

"Okay.  Why don't we come up with a plan and bring it to me?  I would like to see the states start to hype their vacationing possibilities.  Some of the smaller states especially could use it.  There's an air of nostalgia going around right now I'm told so all the old time stuff like the old amusement parks might get a lot of visitors if they hyped them right."

"It can take months to get a new ad worked out, sir."

Xander nodded slowly.  "Maybe.  Maybe not.  If you're paying by the hour, probably.  If you're awarding a reward for coming up with a new one, not as much and the contest itself brings publicity, plus you may find someone with some ideas for the future."

"I'll talk to the governor's council about that."  He left him alone, grimacing all the way back to his office.

Xander thumped his head on his desk.  "Chuck, if they're all going to be bitches, warn me please?" he called.

"Of course I will.  Sorry."

Xander looked at him.  "You didn't realize he was going to be bitchy because I'm wearing jeans.  That's cool.  I thought he was more grown up than that too."  Chuck grinned.  "Let me get something to eat."  He stood up and winced, sitting down to work on his leg cramp.  Buck came jogging in because he was grunting in pain.  "Leg cramp.  That's all it is.  I could use some potassium probably."

"The chef made a dish with fried plantains for dinner in the caf last night," Chuck said, calling down there.  "There might be some left."  The kitchen staff sent one up and Xander ate it while walking around in circles to work the cramp out.  He finally sat down to finish it.  Chuck grinned.  "I'm surprised there's any left with how we all pigged out on it."

"Thanks, guys."  Xander cleaned th dish and put it down on the table.  "I'll take it down in a minute."  They smiled and left him alone.  Xander got up, looking around.  "Where's the dogs?"  He went up to check on them.  They were on the bed asleep.  "Oh, kids," he sighed, petting them.  They didn't want to wake up.  "Ezra!" he bellowed.  Mamma woke up but Pappa was still sleeping.  That was not usual.  "Oh, please let this be a poisoning instead," he murmured, praying.  Ezra rushed in.  "They won't wake up."

"I was wondering why I hadn't heard anything from them needing out."  He checked them over.  "We'll take them to the vets."  They shared a look.  "If it is, I'll call."  Xander nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat.  "Help me get them to the car?"

"Yeah."  Xander picked up Pappa, he was heavier.  They carried them down, Chris muttering swears as he caught up to them and followed.  Xander petted them.  "Good dogs," he said quietly.  "Excellent good dogs."  He shut the door and stepped back.  "Call."

"I will," Ezra promised, driving them to the vets they used.

Buck walked up behind Xander.  "They're ancient for St. Bernards," he said quietly.

"I know.  Today's going to be a really bad day."  He trudged inside, seeing his next appointment waiting and huffy.  He glared and they settled down.  "So, what's up?"

"Sir, you had me come see you," he said bluntly.

"Sorry, I'm a bit scattered.  The dogs wouldn't wake up and they're at the vet's with Ezra."  He found the reason why and handed it over.  "I think that's yours."

He read it over, grimacing but nodded.  "It is.  Is it a problem?"  Xander found the other two folders and handed them over, even though one was 'eyes only' stamped on it.  "I'm not supposed to see that one."

"Yes you are.  I don't want that shit restarted," he said bluntly.  The director looked it over, grimacing.  "Now you can see why I let you see it."

"Yes, sir.  I'll stomp them into greasy spots," he promised.  "There's no way in hell I'll let that go on.  Why not go to NCIS?"

"Vance is already looking into it.  He called me but he's not sure that he can have it stopped fully."

"I'll get with Director Vance immediately, sir."  He nodded and left.  He sympathized with the loss of the dogs but still.  The president couldn't be that upset.  Things went bad in the world.

Xander called his phone conference early.  He got a bit teased about being early but he told them why he was probably going to be out of the office the rest of the day and got some sympathy plus the problem being worked over.  Vin came in to get him when Ezra called so he left and his last appointment could find him at the vet's for all he cared.  They were going to whine anyway.

***

AD Travis, head of the Denver ATF office signed for the packages he had been warned were coming and looked at the simple box.  Inside were two smaller boxes and he knew what they were.  Chris had sent them to him to hold so they could bury them when he got back.  He carefully put them on the mantle for now and told his wife.  It had been all over the news that he had lost his dogs and was moping around DC.  Everyone was starting on the 'what will he get next' bandwagon in the press.  Or condemning him for daring to care and grieve his pets.

***

John Sheppard got a call from the pound he had gotten Blackhawk at and went to see them.  "What's up?" he asked as he walked in, taking off his sunglasses.  Blackhawk was with him.  His poor dog was getting gray in the muzzle too.  He'd have to go through the same thing Xander was right now.

"Sir, I think I have a great option for Mr. Harris, but I can't get through to him, and I've fudged the end date twice already," she said, giving him a pleading look.

He smiled.  "We can look.  Why do you think this one's perfect?"

"He's former bomb sniffing, not officially but he was trained."  She led him back there.

"It's a basset?"

"Half bloodhound, half basset hound," she agreed.  "He's very bouncy and loves to run after everything."  John smiled at that.  "I think he'd be great with the president but I'm guessing they're blocking our calls in case it upsets him."

"Probably."  He let the dog be pulled out so he could pet him.  The dog was hyper and bounced around them.  "I've never seen such a bouncy hound."

"I knew he was special when he came in.  That's why I fudged his end date by two weeks," she said.

John texted Willow, who got Dawn to send her.  Willow landed and looked at the dog.  "How did you get turned into a dog?" she asked it.  John and the worker both stared at her.  "He's a human."

"Well, you knew something was special," John quipped with a grin.

"Sometimes people are sensitive to the flow of magic even if they don't have the gifts."  She squatted down to pet it.  It was giving her the begging look.  "If I still had my powers, I'd change you back," she promised.

"You don't?" the worker asked.

"No, it went into my daughter and son instead."  She shrugged.  "The Goddess wills."  She called the Council's coven and had one of them show up.

"Oh, how charming," the witch said when she joined them.

"It's changed," Willow said.

"I can tell.  How very charming of someone to do that."

"We have two others that feel the same way to me," the worker said quietly.  "Can you look at them too?"

The elder witch looked at her.  "I'll be looking over all of them.  Just in case."  The worker smiled at her for that.  "We can start sending the younger witches around to shelters in their areas to search for others."  She got the hound changed back into a guy, who cried on her.  Willow got him calmed down and John called someone to help him.  They checked on the two kittens first, who were fighting in their cage over a toy.  The elder witch smiled and changed them back.  "Boys, do quit fighting."

"Please don't tell Mama," the older one said.  "We'll be real good."

"Did she do this to you?" John asked.

"Holy shit, you're the president," the younger one said.

John smiled.  "Used to be.  Xander is now, boys."  He helped them out of the cage.  "If your mother did that to you, I'll be having words with her myself."  They nodded, looking down.  "For now, let's go talk to official sort of people so they can find you someone to stay with."  The witch summoned some clothes from Cleveland's emergency closet for them and they went to find a social worker as well.  Then the witch went home to delegate the younger ones to search out more while she rested and recuperated.

***

John walked into the white house, Blackhawk barking and happy beside him.

"Sir," the guard said, saluting.

"At ease.  Xander in?"

"Yes, sir.  Moping in his office, sir."

"For some, their pets are closer than family."

"It's been two weeks."

"He had them for nearly ten years."

"Oh."  He looked down.  "I'm sure he'll heal in his own time then."

"Probably."  He walked his dog and the little bundle in his arms back there.  Chuck gave him an awed look.  "Found her," he admitted.  He walked in, finding Xander and Ezra talking quietly.  "I was out and about and pulled a you," he said, sitting down.  "Without them having an abandoned baby."  Xander looked at him.  "I saw a dog get hit and followed her so I could take her to the vet's."  He opened the small bundle.  "Mamma didn't survive the accident but she was moving her puppies to a better nest.  I even coopted a few Marines to help me find the others."

He let them see the little bundles of fur.  "They're still being bottle fed but Rodney got scary when Willow was cooing at them instead of him.  These are the two that Atlantis hasn't adopted for some reason.  The city loves the puppies and bottles seem to appear out of nowhere for them all the time.  She automatically cleans up any messes they make and all that."  He looked at Xander, who cooed and sighed, staring at them.  "Since these are the last two...."

"They're what sort of dog?" Ezra asked.

"Mother was some sort of mutt.  Looked like part grayhound, part Dobie by the coat and build but I have no idea."  He let Xander hold the blanket wrapped bundle.  "They got a bit chilly when we brought them back so I kept them warm."

"They're adorable," Xander cooed.

Ezra smiled.  "They are adorable," he agreed.  He moved closer, letting the dogs sniff his finger before petting them.  "They're sweet looking."

"They're very sweet.  Those two have been sleeping on my pillow for me."  John smiled.  "I know it's really soon but they need a good parent who'll teach them all the right things."

Xander swallowed and nodded, looking at Ezra, who smiled and nodded.  "Thank you, John."  He hugged him.  One of the puppies mewled so he cooed and petted her.  "Are we girls, boys?"  He checked.  "Both boys.  Hi, boys."  John smiled.  Blackhawk stared so Xander petted him too.  "Hi, Blackhawk."  The dog wiggled and barked, hopping up to lick him and the puppies.  "They are very nice puppies.  Thank you."  He kissed him on the head and petted him some more.  John got his dog settled into his lap.  "Thank you, John."

"You're welcome, Xander.  They need someone like you."  He patted him on the shoulder.  "Some day I'll have to do this too," he reminded him quietly.  Xander nodded, resting against Ezra's side.  The press secretary coughed from the doorway.  "We're just talking."  He came in and stared at the little bundles of fur.  "Their mother got hit right in front of me."

"Awww."  He smiled at John.  "I'm sure they'll be good foster parents."  Xander glared at him.  "Or adoptive parents," he amended, making Xander grin and nod.  "Fine.  Should I announce it?"  Xander shook his head.  "The pound has been trying to call, sir."

"Yeah, I talked to them.  She had a dog that she knew was special and would've fit really well with Xander's life.  Then we found out it was a changed human."  The press secretary nodded once.

"We're going to the pound's event next week," Ezra reminded him.  "We can make a sizeable donation then."

"Yeah, we can," Xander agreed.  He petted the puppies.  "Chuck, we need puppy nursing things," he called.  He came in to look, cooing at them.  "Can you send Vin to get some for us?  And a basket for them to lounge around in?"

"Sure."  He petted them.  "Baby things are always so soft."  He walked off to tell Vin that, getting a nod and him heading out.  He knew better than the other guys what baby animals needed.  He came back.  "Cole's calling about their recent election."

Xander got handed the phone.  "Hey, Cole."  He listened.  "I'm sorry to hear that.  Who won?"  He nodded slowly.  "Wasn't he the Churchill wannabe?"  He grinned.  "Good to know.  Yeah, I'm feeling better.  No, John found puppies that got orphaned, still not weaned yet puppies.  The city adopted most of them but he brought me two.  Cute little mutts, yeah.

"Thanks.  I'll call him to congratulate him in a few days and we can all talk about the oncoming problems together, how about that?  That way you can tell him what you've done, I can point out our point of view, and we can listen to see if he can think.  Even better.  See you then.  Happy vacation, man.  I know I'm taking one when I get free."  The Prime Minister laughed as he hung up.  "Ezra, speaking of vacations, can I propose something?"

"Of course.  Did you have somewhere you wanted to go beyond the farm?"

"Well, I've been told that the midstates' spending is going down and tourism isn't all that hyped right now."  He looked at him.  "Could we maybe take a few days of vacation here and there to go visit neat places you've seen?  That you can show me nice things and we visit some of those areas then take a quiet weekend at the farm?  Without having to do any speeches or anything?  Maybe visit some smaller cities, some pretty college campuses that could use the stalkers that follow us around noting them?"

"Hmm.  So a vacation but a travel show at the same time?" he guessed.  Xander smiled and grinned.  "I could accept that.  Plus there's the upcoming speeches on education and immigration coming in three of the midwest states.  We can sightsee for a day when we're there.  I can arrange that.  Should we give them an itinerary?"

"No.  They'll get it leaked.  We can treat it like any other trip.  You can show me places that you liked a whole lot and had good food, all that stuff.  You traveled a lot more than I have."

He smiled and nodded.  "I could like showing you some of my favorite places."  He took a kiss.  "You'll drop them."  Xander put them in his lap instead, petting them.  He smiled at John.

"I could do that but I hate being stalked," he admitted quietly.  "I thought about bringing Atlantis back to Pegasus for a while too."

Xander looked at him.  "Would that bring more wraith?"

"Probably not.  They wouldn't be able to track our backdraft."

"Then we'll talk about it."  John smiled and nodded.  "I'm not sure that the program isn't thinking in terms of going to blow them all away.  The guy you put in charge is a pain in the ass who never tells me anything.  He's another who thinks I'm an idiot playing dress up."

John shook his head.  "Not with some of the things you've had to handle."  He gave him a shoulder nudge.  "You sure you can handle them?"

"Yeah.  I need something to fuss over because Ezra hates it when I do it at him."

"I only mind when you're in fussing overdrive and can't calm down," Ezra corrected.  "Though it will be nice to have something to take care of again."  He took one to pet, earning a small whimper.  "We'll have to take them to the vet's soon."

"We already have," John assured him.  "When we found them all we brought them in to be checked over.  They've all been tested and they're not carrying anything.  Shots need to be given in about three more weeks.  The Vet thinks they're going into their fourth week this week."  Xander nodded, smiling at him.  Vin walked in with a bag of stuff and a basket, handing them over.  "Thanks, Vin."

"Welcome."  He stared at the puppies.  "You two're cute."  He petted them.  Xander put the blanket and the puppies into the basket, letting them snuggle up.  Then he sat down to read the instructions on the formula container.  Vin grinned at John.  "Evan wanted a visit."

"I can do that."  Blackhawk jumped down and John stood up.  "Happy puppies, guys."  Xander gave him a hug.  Ezra shook his hand and he went to bother Evan.  "I found puppies."

"I heard about the Atlantis mutts," he said, looking at him.  "Thank you," he said quietly.

"Xander needs something to take care of."  He lounged in the doorway.  "I'm thinking about proposing Atlantis should be back in Pegasus."

Evan nodded.  "I agree.  I can talk to the general.  He tries to avoid Xander all the time."

"Yeah, that's a habit he needs to break," John said.  Evan grimaced.  John walked in and closed the door, giving him what they had figured out about Xander.  He realized he hadn't talked to Evan since the night he had narked about Xander's rescue.  Evan nodded he'd lay off Xander and help him more in those things.  John and the dog left, going back to the mountain to talk to the general and bitch him a new one.  His former position gave him a bit of leeway with people of higher rank.

Evan considered it then had a better background run on Xander through the CIA's systems.  They had spies everywhere and probably would've heard about anything Xander did too openly.  Within an hour of calling he had a thick file in his hands, basically driving time.  So they had gathered it before.  He read through it, grimacing at some things but it was clear Xander was a warrior like Ronon was.  He took it in to talk to them.  They needed to talk.  The military people babied Xander a whole lot and they didn't need to.

Xander noticed the file and shrugged.  "The CIA got a few things wrong.   Unless I went back in time I didn't take out that one pirate base.  I was being held on the other one."  He went back to feeding the dogs.

"Why do you let them treat you like you're some strange cult member then?" Evan asked.

Xander stared at him for a minute.  "Because it makes you guys feel more comfortable and I'm used to it from the girls.  If the Joint Chiefs saw that, they'd suddenly be uncomfortable and think I was a cult member again.  That's about how they see anything I've done.  I can't win them over so I let them do their own shit and ignore it most of the time.  Beyond that, you guys gave me Jon to handle a lot of them sneering and being asses."  He went back to bottle feeding.

"We would've treated you better if we had known this, Xander."

Xander looked at him.  "No you wouldn't.  Because it didn't come with formal training and a paycheck or any insignia or rank.  They don't accept anything that isn't their methodology."  He cooed at the puppy.  He sucked harder and fell asleep.  "Such a good boy."  He put him down when he quit sucking and picked up the other to feed.  That one was hungrier and happy to be fed.

Ezra looked at him.  "The generals would no more respect the new information than they did the old information.  Xander did point out some of the things he did and it was enough that they decided Jonathan can translate between the two."

Evan shook his head.  "We would've respected that.  He saved two units!"

Xander shrugged.  "As far as I knew they went looking after I showed them that.  Apparently they didn't respect that.  Jon does a fine job translating and telling me when we need to talk.  Even if they are trying to shut me out again."  He gave him a look.  "As for Atlantis going back to Pegasus, I'd like to see some facts on that.  Your program got a funding cut from the Pentagon this year and your general is acting like it didn't happen."

"I'll talk to him myself today," Evan said, staring at him.  "You're pissed."

Xander shrugged.  "You never appreciated me for anything I've done either, Evan.  Even the stuff you knew before like the apocalypse battles you've seen me in."  Evan's mouth fell open.  "Have you?"

"Well....  Um."  He considered that.  "I consider you a good warrior but not military."

"Which will always be a separate category in your mind," Xander pointed out.  He took his file and put it on the desk.  "Now you know more and you still believe I'm not as good as someone who was formally trained, but I know more than you thought."

"It's not exactly the same sort of thought process."

"No, it's not.  Staking people you grew up with never will be."  Evan flinched at that.  "So I don't really care.  You and all the other military people can all see me the same way.  Fortunately I get to leave in another year and a half."  Evan nodded, leaving them alone.

"We should probably mend fences," Ezra said quietly.

"I like the guy as a human being but now and then he turns into the same sort of ass that the Pentagon holds."  He went back to feeding the puppy, letting him fall asleep too.  "Every two hours?"

"Or three."  He came over to take the puppy to feed, staring at him.  "You had a good friendship with him at first."

"And then he got infected with the military version of politician syndrome.  It's like academic snobs that look down on me because I can read six dead languages but I don't have the papers from a school so therefore I don't know anything."

"I saw that one," he admitted.  He kissed him.  "We'll handle it."  He put the puppy into the basket and walked out with it.  "We'll go upstairs."

"Thank you, Ezra.  Bring them back for the next one?"

Ezra smiled.  "I will."  He went to show them off and talk to Evan.  He had seen that educational snub and had gotten pissed at it.  He walked into the office, seeing him pacing and complaining to someone.  "When someone with an esteemed degree did the same sort of thing, you threw much the same fit, only at them," he said quietly.

Evan stared at him.  "It's not the same."

"Yes it is.  Only this time it's not over not having a degree and knowing what they were doing.  It's the same sort of 'I graduated and you didn't' attitude."  Evan grimaced, then shook his head with a sigh.  He walked off with the dogs, taking them to his office for now.  Things were not going well right now in the white house and he had no idea how many of the staffers would side with Evan over all that.

***

Later that day, Xander walked into the CIA, making the receptionist jump and salute.  "At ease.  I'm here to see your boss, Glenda."

"You remember me, sir?"

He looked at her.  "Yeah.  I did train your sister."  She smiled.  He smiled back.  "He in?"

"Yes, sir.  Let me call."  Xander waved a hand and let security escort him up.  She called because the director wouldn't want to be startled.

Xander walked in and dropped the file on his desk, staring at him.  "Some of your people exaggerated.  I'm not that great.  I don't have super powers and I can't be in two places at the same time.  Otherwise, it made people realize they see me as the poor country cousin who knows nothing.  Which didn't make them happy with their biases being shoved back at them.  Also, you're having a three percent budget cut."

"I heard that.  I was hoping to find an easy way around that."

"I'd personally suggest you quit buying such craptastic gear from the bad sources.  Buy for quality, not quantity.  You have a whole section full of shit that doesn't work or will break in the field.  You could've saved hundreds of thousands over the last decade by not doing that."

"They tell me what I need to authorize to buy."

"Then I'd talk to them about quality products.  Because your gear sucks and it's contributed to six deaths in the field in the last year."  The director gave him a horrified look.  "Yeah, not like I didn't hear.  A lot of people treat Evan like he's actually the president but I do have my own contacts and I hear a lot more than people think.  Which pisses the Russians off when I tell them what they're trying not to say.  Don't become one of them."

"I won't, sir," he said, looking at him differently.  "That's been an ongoing problem."

"Yes, and I only have it for another year and a half and then I get to retire and let all of you bitch and whine at each other.  Because I won't be putting up with it."  He smirked.  "You should've heard the bitching when Evan pointed out I had helped stop more than the apocalypse battles that everyone knows about.  Even my assistant was giving me dirty looks."  He walked out.  That was a suitable warning.

The director of the CIA called his head of purchasing up to talk about all that inferior equipment and what they could do about it.  They definitely had some ideas.

***

News got spread to the other higher ups.  Some of them realized that Xander wasn't an idiot, and they treated him like he deserved.  Vance.  Fornell, the head of the ATF.  The other directors quickly learned when he had them audited and then told them about their flaws.  He ordered six restructurings within a week and the press was hating him for it.

Pity.

The Pentagon was wondering what had possessed him but a few realized what it was.  Evan had told them off for it.  They were waiting when it was their turn.  Xander had good points, he created a few problems that would be solved within a year as things got worked on, and then he left them alone to do their own thing.  By the end of the week everyone who was a higher up in DC realized that Xander wasn't an idiot who was a figurehead.  He had ideas even if they were quietly done.

People started to look into the bills he had pushed through and found that a good number actually got passed, more than most presidents.  That got slipped to the press as well.  The Speaker of the House agreed that Xander had good ideas.  He just didn't hold press conferences about them unless it was important.  He tried to avoid the press if at all possible, even though he had an easier relationship with them earlier in his term.

They all wondered what had happened.  One of them had clearly pissed him off or something.  They quit looking at Xander as 'he's gay and therefore inferior' as well.  Even Time got the story eventually.  They had a nice cover with a picture of him, and Ezra behind him, that called him the 'quietest, most effective president of our age' and a few people got startled by that.

Xander actually did give a speech right before going on vacation.  Mostly about a planned defense program that he was proposing that would step on toes.  Before he could leave, one of the reporters hopped up.  "Mr. President, are you running for reelection?  Your recent moves seem to say that you want considered," she called.

Xander stared at her.  "No.  I'm going to retire and hide from all the leeches in DC.   If you guys want Evan to stay, keep him.  He's a good man and a good leader.  People listen to him.  If he doesn't want it, we'll find someone to back.  Because frankly I need the nerves you guys have shot."

"Sir, we've seen new dogs," another said.  Xander hadn't been open to questioning in months.  "Did you adopt some new strays?"

"John Sheppard found them.  His city adopted all but those two.  They still needed bottle fed when we got them."  He smiled.  "They're adorable little cuddlers and give me someone to fuss over."

"Then you're not considering children?" she asked.

He shrugged.  "Ask Ezra.  I've made my viewpoint clear on that.  Anything else?"  Hands went up and he sighed.  He walked back to the podium.  "What?"

"Sir, you've done a lot of work recently with the investigative agencies," one said.  "Did you find problems?"

"I always listen to the news going around at the agent level.  There were some issues that needed to be noted.  I did the same as the VP.  This time I helped solve them more directly than I did then."  He pointed at another.  "Yes?"

"Sir, you're going on a few days vacation soon?"

"Yes.  Ezra's taking me to some places he liked to visit when he was still able to travel without attention."  He smiled.  "I'm told it's a beautiful city with great food and I'll adore it."  They smiled at that sentimental thing.  "Anything else?"

"Are the dogs going?"

Xander nodded.  "Yeah, just like Mamma and Pappa would've."

"What did you name these two?" another asked.  "Are they shelter dogs?"

"Not shelter dogs.  John saw their mother being hit by a car.  They are Blacky and Greeny.  They're nearly identical and that's their collar colors so the names stuck when the guards started to call them that."

"Sir, do you think that you'll go right back to Denver when you retire?" another asked.

"I think we'll be talking about maybe driving back so we have some time to decompress before we're back in the real world of real people instead of politicians.  DC isn't really known for real people being here.  I hope the next guy in the job has an easier time than I have with that knowledge.  We'd send the horses back and hire a stable cleaner and I'm trying to talk my way into driving back so we can visit some more places on the way."

"Do you think Colonel Lorne would take the nomination if we voted for him?" another asked.

Xander shrugged.  "I don't know, ask him."  He walked off.  He heard camera shutters going off and ignored it.  That's how he knew he had been in DC too long.  He was able to ignore being stalked by people with cameras.  Ezra was waiting inside with the dogs.  Xander let them run out to pee on things and then they came running back to bark and wiggle at them.  "Good dogs," he praised, smiling and petting them.  He looked at Ezra.  "Think we could?"

"I think it'd be a darling idea and it would allow you to regain your emotional footing back to the more normal level of people."  They walked off together.  "If we time it right we can even go for Mardi Gras."  Xander had told him he had wanted to go while on his post-graduation road trip but had never made it.

Xander grinned.  "Make sure I don't drink too much?"

"Definitely."  The dogs ran into the office after a bark at Chuck.  Ezra smiled and Chuck grinned back but didn't look happy.  "I'll be there in a minute.  We have to talk about the personal correspondence issue I'm having."  Xander nodded, going in there to do necessary things.  He looked at Chuck.  "What?" he asked quietly.

"He's very anti-everyone," he said quietly.

"No.  He's tired of being treated like an imbecile that has no idea what he's doing again."  Chuck slumped, nodding.  "The same as he got tired of the rest of the city doing it.  He still considers you the best assistant ever and a friend, Chuck."  He went inside to calm the dogs down.  "Basket," he ordered.  They ran to their basket and settled in to chew on their rawhides.  "Thank you, boys."  He took a kiss.  "I have to deal with reports."

"Have more fun than I will doing reports on the middle east again."

"Hopefully."  He went to his office.  He hoped the other staffers came down off their high horses soon.  It was pissing him off and Xander was getting back to that point of 'fuck them all I can do it myself' again, which he couldn't and he realized it but it pissed people off when his innate response to being thought to be unable to do things was to handle everything in sight by himself.

***

Chuck sat down in front of Evan a few hours later.  "He's not mad?"

"No, he's not mad.  As Ezra put it, we're treating him like that PhD that snubbed him for knowing more than him without the formal degree."

"I don't."

"You took your cues from me, Chuck, and it upset him.   With everything that went on before with the girls, he learned that when they started that he had to do it himself and not tell people.  Like that rescue that started us all bitching this time."

"He went on a rescue?"

"Yeah, of a kidnaped slayer.  He also managed to help save a military team that was working on capturing the people who had her.  They ran into each other.  Then it got narked up the chain until John told me."

"Oh."  He considered it.  "He's a lot like John."

"Yeah, he is.  He tends to lead the same way just less noticeably.   John can lead from the front, but he's very open about it.  Xander will just show up and take charge, making sure things work.  John will announce it first and pep up the soldiers."

"I get that.  What if we go back to Pegasus?"

"I don't know," he admitted.  "I would feel the need to be there.  It's my duty.  This is a hellhole of frustration.  I'm not liking how it's changing my management style.  I found myself being a politician the other day."

Chuck nodded.  "I can agree with that."  He sighed, slumping down in the chair.  "So how do we fix it?"

"Remember how things were two years ago?  Xander was more relaxed, all that?  Before the wedding when we all decided this meant Xander was suddenly weaker for some reason?"

"I think it was like an insidious creep," Ezra said from the doorway.  "There's a call for you from Pakistan?  They're refusing to talk to Xander."  He walked off.

"Shit," Evan muttered, picking up the phone.  "Yes, Minister?"  He listened.  "Sir, that's the president's job, not mine.  No, sir, I'm the Vice President.  I know he's married to a man.  Ezra's a very good man and one I'd want behind me in the field."  He listened to him complain.  "That's your problem, Minister.  If you want sympathy and help with ideas, I'd talk to Xander.  After all, he's helped take down a few militias in his day.  No, he served in Africa for years with the Council.  He ran into plenty down there that he had to help handle to protect them and others."

He smirked.  "No, you all discounted him because it wasn't formal military.  Some of ours did the same thing.  I can easily transfer you back and I wish you luck with that."  He transferred it back to Xander's phone.  Then he hung up and looked at Chuck.  "We have to break that.  Xander's going to snap and start taking over other duties soon."

"I think he's already doing some of the Chief of Staff's job."

"Yeah, I think he is."  Chuck nodded, going back to his desk to prepare for the afternoon briefing and to figure out what he could handle for him.  Evan sat there and went over his suddenly shrunken pile of paperwork.  He went to Xander's office to take it back.  "Thank you for sparing me the writer's cramp, Xander."  He walked off with the stack of folders.  Chuck rescued a few more.  Then Evan went to chew on the Chief of Staff.  Plus the rest of the staffers.

***

"Xander has went from laid back to presidential," Vin said when the group gathered with Gibbs' team at the ranch.  "It's like seeing one of the stick up his ass presidents."

"That's because they've been discounting him so much that he's handled half of everything in the white house," DiNozzo said.  "I know Evan laid down the law about them doing their own jobs.  I know that the Chief of Staff was nearly in tears after he got done with him."  He sipped his beer.  "I've tried to distract him but it's not working."

"No, it won't as long as they're treating him like he's an idiot savant," Chris agreed.  "Ezra and he are going on vacation to Savannah in a week."  They all nodded they knew that.  "That's part vacation and part showing off the city so others will want to visit.  Then they'll spend three days of quiet at the ranch."  That got a few smiles.  "I'm hoping Ezra can make him relax again."

"Someone in the press asked him if it was true that other leaders were seeing him as the figurehead and Evan as the real president," Vin said.  "Xander quipped back that for being a figurehead he sure did a lot of paperwork and talked to a lot of people."

"I think that's been sneaking in since the wedding," Gibbs said.  They all nodded.  "So how do we counter it?"

"I think Evan had the right idea," Josiah said.  "Though he could've been nicer."

"No he couldn't," Chris said.  "No one would've gotten the point."

"How mean was he?" McGee asked.  "I was off testifying when all that went on."

"Evan chewed everyone a new one," Nathan told him.  "He laid down the law about him not being the president and to quit treating Xander like those heads on Easter Island."  McGee and JD both grinned at that image.  "Xander has seemed more serious and uptight."

"Even the dogs haven't made him grin recently," Tony said with a small shrug.  "I think we've all pissed him off too."

"No," Chris said.  "He hasn't wanted to go anywhere.  It's like he's hiding within the white house.  Which he probably is.  Sheppard did the same thing for a while."  They all nodded.  "But then things were bad and he had to handle international problems.  Xander doesn't."

"He has had the most problem-free presidency," JD said.  "It's like they're scared to screw up and have him step in to handle it."

"Yup," Nathan agreed.  "It's been nice and quiet."

"That's because everyone's afraid he'll grab artillery and go solve the problem himself," Tony said.  "The French president told him that and he cackled then said he just might."

"I think the President thought it was a joke," Josiah said.  "Then he heard about that rescue and other things."

"I think he's the most real person we've ever had in that job," Nathan said.  "It's nice to see.  He doesn't lie, doesn't tell half-truths.  He doesn't spin things to look good.  He's very straightforward and I hate it like hell for the person who has to follow him."

"It might not be Evan," Chris said.  "There's been talk about going back to Pegasus so he'd go."

"He's on reserve status," Vin pointed out.

"He'd quit," Tony said.  "He told Xander bluntly that if it was authorized he'd quit and go back."  He finished his beer and peeled the label off to put it into the bottle.  "Which means we'd get the Speaker of the House in that position and I'm sorry but I'd quit before guarding him."  The others nodded.  That man treated them like they were trained monkeys.

"Xander is thinking that if it goes, it'll be pushed back for when they can retire or just before.  Evan can go out in the second wave," Vin said.  That got a few grins.  "How do we help him calm down?"

"I think Ez making him relax while on vacation will do a lot of it and them fixing the subtle pressure on him to be weaker will stop the rest," Chris said. "We've been a good buffer for some of it."

"We have," Josiah agreed.  "Thinking as a profiler, he's going to snap soon and bite someone.  It may even be an innocent someone, like a press person who makes a gay joke or something.  Or a normal person who decided he's doing a bad job."

"No, I think he'll save it for the ones that deserve it.  It took him years to snap at the girls," Buck said.  "He had been holding that in for years.  Since high school with some of it.  I think Ezra should be ready to move him away from people when it starts because we're going to see people crying."

"He'd normally hide it," Vin said quietly.  "Same as I would.  He'd walk off and scream in private.  Maybe he might use some sarcasm to bite them but not to the point of making people cry."

"He's not dumping all the stress," Chris reminded him.  "It if it was a one-time thing, yeah.  But he's ready to blow."

"Ezra reads people better than everyone else in the government," Josiah said.  "He knows that.  He knows Xander well enough to know how to calm him down.  I think that's why they're going on that short vacation."

"Probably," Chris agreed.  "Do we have the schedule for who's going with them?"  They all got it handed to them by JD.  "I see Gibbs' team mostly gets Savannah and we get Denver."

"Makes sense to us since you're from there," Tony quipped.

Ziva shrugged.  "Where is Savannah?"

"Georgia," Gibbs told her.  "It's a pretty southern city with a lot of class and history."

"Ezra spent some time there in his youth," Vin said.  "Plus it's letting the stalker patrol of the press hype visitors to the city, which will help the local economy."  Chris looked at him.  "Ezra said that they needed to help that stuff and Xander asked him to show him places he had liked back when he was traveling.  Ezra agreed they could do that as long as there were no speeches."

Chris nodded.  "That's not a bad idea.  Denver's had a spike of visitors since he got elected."  They all grinned at that.  It had meant the city cleaned up some of the problems and was rehabing Purgatorio, where the 'bad elements' lived.  "Anything special planned?"

"Xander was looking to see if they were doing any Habitat building but they're not," Vin said.  "I think in the future he'd find a thing to jump into quietly.  He doesn't tend to give speeches about things, he likes to show him doing them."

"He is very quiet on the press front," Tony agreed.  "I've heard reporters wondering what they did wrong since he was more chatty before the wedding."

"Suddenly after the wedding everyone decided he was weaker," Gibbs said.  "I think that's half the reason for his temper being so high."

They all nodded.  They had seen him taking over duties from others all week and Evan having to fight to keep some of his.

Reasons for Yelling Virus Carriers To Yell.

Xander came back from his vacation looking rested, for a change, and calm.  He dropped something on Chuck's desk, looking at him.  "Go home for me tonight."

"Yes, sir."  He looked at it.  It didn't have a name.  Xander glanced at the office then at him.  "Yes, sir, I can have a wonderful dinner on Atlantis tonight."  He grinned.  Xander smirked back.  "You only have one note waiting."  He handed it over.  "Congress was strangely quiet."

"Yeah, but I'm about to piss some people off."  He walked into his office, reading the note.  The puppies bounded in and laid down in their basket.  "Good boys."  He called that person back.  It was a bit of nothingness but something he had to calm someone down about.  He hung up and got into the files he had requested to be on his desk when he got back.  He read them over, making a few decisions.  The person in charge of the base was pissing him off majorly and Jack was going to hate him but oh well.  He called someone to his office.  "Colonel, how long has it been since you've been given a promotion?" he asked casually.

Cam Mitchell looked at him.  "A while, sir.  Why?"

"Because it got noted to me that you and a few others should have had rank raises and haven't for some reason.  Do we know why?"

"I think the paperwork didn't get past the new commander's desk," he admitted.  "Again, sir, why?"

"Because something stinks to me," he admitted.  "And I'm about to make some people scream at me, General."  Cam stiffened, shaking his head.  "Yes, General, you are."

"No, sir, please!" he begged.

"You can't do worse than O'Neill did."

"I hate being called his replacement part, sir."

"Do you have a better suggestion?"

"Sheppard?"

"He'll be busy sometime soon."  Cam stared at him.  Xander nodded.  "Which is why people are going to scream," he said quietly.  "Well?"

He considered it.  "If I must."

"You must.  At least until I retire and then you can talk the next guy into naming someone else."  He smiled and held out a hand.  "Give me a few days to listen to the screaming."

"Thank you, sir."  He shook his hand and left after a quick salute.  This was so going to suck for him.

Xander looked at the other ones.  Then he drafted a notice and faxed it to the Pentagon.  Within minutes he had Jack O'Neill beamed into his office complaining.  He stared at him.  "You forgot to give them time in raises," he said dryly.  "It looks political."

"They...."

"Shut up, Jack.  The guy you put in there is hindering the work.  Don't think I didn't hear about the Ori ship that got real close recently.  I had to hear it from the Underground, which pissed me the fuck off, but I did hear."

Jack stared at him.  "This isn't a game, Xander."

"No shit, really?  Because I haven't fought in anything that might've gotten the world ended if we lost, right?"  Jack flinched at that.  "I've already picked the successor, who is hoping he's not compared to you again, and it'll go.  Also, I want a plan to move one of the cities."

"Where?"

"Where it belongs."  Jack gaped.  "If they were on earth, would you let them sit there and build strength to attack?"

"No," he said firmly.  "I still don't like that plan."

"While that's great, Jack, yay."  Jack got beamed out.  Xander called out to Chuck's desk.  "Get me Sheppard quietly please.  And no, you can't tell Lorne."  He hung up.  John Sheppard got beamed in, phone already to his ear.  "If that's O'Neill, hang up on his stupid ass."  John blinked a few times.  "That is an order."  He hung up and saluted him.  Xander smiled.  "Thanks.  Sit."  John sat down.  "How likely is it that more wraith will wander this way?"

"I've been told putting Atlantis back isn't practical."

"John, I've done nothing but fight things that wanted to destroy this earth for decades.  If they were here, would you let them alone?"

"No.  Not in the least.  Even if it was against orders."

"You have orders.  I want a comprehensive plan so you can go on my last day in office."  John smirked.  "I want the full plan, everything you'll need, all that."

"I've had some calls from other leaders wanting to have people on the city."

"I agree, this is a world-wide problem, not just a US and allies problem.  That will give them enough time to get up to speed and train the hell out of their people for it."

"The Pentagon won't like it and the head of the SGC won't."

"I don't care and I don't care.  Though the last one is about taken care of.  I'm talking to him soon."

John blinked.  "You're in battle mode," he said quietly.  "Why?"

"Because I realize I'm going to piss half the universe off.  And I don't really care.  It's necessary."

"It is," John agreed.  "You'll get some fighting."  Xander shrugged.  "Good point."  He stood up.  "I've been working on it."

"Make sure you give me what you need for weapons.  I want it within two months, that way you can establish needed infantry and specialists needs as well, plus take into account the food stores."

John smiled.  "We have that in the records."

"Yeah but now you'll have more people and some from other countries."

"Good point.  Thank you."  He saluted and left.

Xander called in Chuck, looking at him.  "Shut the door."  Chuck did that.  "I'm going to be blunt.  I'm going to be pissing off half the fucking universe, Chuck, including some of your coworkers."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not going to let the wraith sit there and grow stronger."

Chuck relaxed and smiled.  "I was hoping it was something like that.  Colonel Sheppard wanted to."

"I know.  I will be."  Chuck nodded.  "You're going to get a lot of shit for things."

"Why not tell Colonel Lorne, sir?"

"Because I'm not sure if he'll be able to go in the first wave or not."

"Oh.  I guess that makes sense.  When?"

"The last day I'm here."

He nodded.  "That's a good time for it and we'll be out of contact range by the swearing in.  He doesn't want the job."

"I don't know what he wants since he's apparently seeing the same therapist Buffy and Jack are, who has decided to subtly point out that I'm gay and therefore weak.  By the way, the Mountain is changing hands."

Chuck nodded.  "I figured it would.  We were all surprised when the rank raises didn't come in with the medals."

"I'm taking care of that no matter what someone wants."  Chuck grinned at that.  "Which means you're getting one too, yes.  Anyone who was there for a year goes up a step."

"Colonel Lorne can't when he's in the reserves, sir."

"He can have it once he steps out of the office.  I can arrange that."  Chuck grinned.  "No matter who wants you to sabotage things or show them the lists, even Lorne, no."

"Agreed, sir.  Should I be expecting other leaders to be calling about it?"

"Yes.  They've been calling Sheppard.  Help him prepare something to tell them what their troops need to know."  He nodded.  "Soldiers and specialists."

"Yes, sir.  I can do that.  Any other orders?"

"Not yet.  I'm about to ruin some other people's days pretty soon."  Chuck nodded and left him alone.  He petted the dogs then let them outside.  When they came back in he walked them to Chris, who would watch them for him.  "Going to the Pentagon.  Be back in a few hours.  They just went out."  He walked off, heading to the car.  Vin got to drive him today.  Xander grinned at him.  "Have a good weekend back home?"

"Much.  I got some stuff done.  Did you?"

"Ezra helped me figure out how I wanted to piss off people for the next year and a half.  There's going to be some screaming going on."  Vin nodded at that.  "Right now I'm going to chew on people for being politicians and military at the same time."  Vin snickered.  "I swear it's a disease."

"One that makes you retarded," Vin agreed.  He drove through the semi-heavy daytime traffic.  He walked Xander inside and sat in the waiting area with a book.  He had learned that lesson real well his first month.

Xander walked in and stared at the horrified looking secretary.  "Yes, I can leave the office," he quipped.  "He in?"

"Yes, sir, swearing at you."

"Good!  I'm going to make his fucking life," he said as he walked in without knocking.

"I said I didn't want to be disturbed!" he complained.

"Is that because it took you so long to become turbed in the first place?" Xander quipped, earning a stiff salute.  "Sit down, shut up, and listen."  The man did that.  "Everyone who served on Atlantis is getting a single step raise.  Effective immediately.  Like they should have when they got back."  He stared at him.  "Also, I don't care if you don't like it.  The wraith are an ongoing threat."  The general opened his mouth.

"Shut it until I'm done."  He closed his mouth, looking shocked.  "I fought too long and too hard for this world to see it taken down by mutant people eaters.  I wouldn't have let it happen in Sunnydale.  I wouldn't have let it happen in Africa.  I'm not letting it happen here.  You're to work with Sheppard on what he realistically needs and his list of desires.  Or you can pick someone to take your seat who will."

The general nodded.  "When?"

"My last day.  That gives you about a year and a half.  I know there's other countries that want in.  That's their right; it's their people to protect too."  That got a single nod.  "Also, you're going to be seeing a change in command in Cheyenne.  Tomorrow for new rank day."

"Sir, he'll complain."

"I've already heard O'Neill fussing.  Yay.  He's blocking what needs to be done.  I had to hear about that recent Ori ship through the demon underground."

"Shit," he muttered.  "One got near here?"  Xander nodded.  "I didn't hear."

"Neither did I.  Which is wrong on both counts.  Therefore, we're going to fix it tomorrow.  And fire a shrink."

"Why?"

"Because he's been subtly encouraging the whole 'he's married and gay therefore weak' thing."

"Oh.  I've noticed Jack's personality shifting."

"Yeah, a good therapist can talk you around to their point of view all too easily without you realizing it."  He stared at him.  "Any other complaints?"

"Colonel Lorne can't...."

"I heard.  His is effective his last day.  It can go on his change of status paperwork."

"Agreed."  He smiled.  "Any other issues?"

"I'm foreseeing screaming and ranting.  It will be by volunteer.  That's one hell of a warzone and I don't want anyone unwilling."

"That's not how we do it."

"I know.  This time, it's volunteer only."

He considered it.  "A lot of people would volunteer without realizing how hard it is."

"That's yours and Sheppard's job.  You'll have someone with some experience to train.  Find him somewhere today so I can tell him tomorrow."

"I see.  I can do that.  What about the families on Atlantis?"

"Tell me what you recommend.  And if it's going to be a permanent base or not."

He smiled and nodded.  "I'll take that option into consideration."

"It makes no sense to go back and not stay in case another one comes from that direction.  The same as I'm considering if we need an outpost or base somewhere toward the Ori galaxy that can monitor that."

"I can see that point.  I'll get with him today."

"Thank you.  Any other problems you were swearing about?"

"No, sir.  That fixed all my swearings."

"Good.  Let me know if you have more."

"Yes, sir."  He saluted and Xander smiled, walking out.

"Okay, done.  Let's book before more people get huffy."  Vin nodded, walking him out.

"Just who do you think you are walking in here like that?" one guard sneered.

Xander sneered back.  "I think I'm the fucking President and your commander, private.  And I think you just won a riding saddle in the jail of my choice."  The man blanched.  "MP's!" he shouted.  They came running.  "This fucking idiot just asked me who I thought I was to be walking around up here."

"Yes, sir, his stupidity is legendary around here," one said.  "We'll take him to the brig and talk to JAG immediately, sir."

"Thank you."  He walked off.  Once he got into the car he sighed.  "I'm going to be hearing that for a few more months."  He shook his head.

"You don't have to."

"Yes I do.  Atlantis is going home."

Vin stared at him then smiled.  "We were wondering how long that would take."

"John wouldn't let her go without him.  Now he doesn't have to."  Vin nodded, starting the car and heading back to the white house.  Where he called in a meeting.  Including Lorne.  He walked into the meeting area a few minutes after they got there.  "Shut up, sit down, and let's talk."  They all gave him horrified looks.  He sneered.

"Did you think I forgot what my job is?  I got elected to protect the people of this country for my service protecting the people of this world."  Evan stiffened.  "As for my qualifications, I might be a bit light on them but I'm not doing a damn bad job so far.  Therefore I'm going to be doing something that should have been done last year.  Colonel, effective the day we leave office, Atlantis is going home."

"You can't do that!" one of the senators shouted.  "We need her here!"

"We have the other two cities here," Xander said bluntly.  "We've given the wraith five years to regroup, grow stronger, make new ones, and build faster ships.  One may have made it this far by wandering but I'm doubting it'll be the last.  For that matter, I'm looking at Atlantis as a permanent outpost once the wraith are solved to make sure there's no problems coming from beyond Pegasus."  Evan gave him an odd look.

"We can't be the only species out there.  Some of them did evolve without help."  That got a slow nod from most everyone.  "Colonel, the issue of rank raises has been raised.  I know it was *political* that people did not get them as they should have.   As you're on reserve status, we'll have to wait on your proper one."  He nodded at that.

He looked at the rest.  "You can support me or fight me on this but I'm not the only world leader who thinks she should be back there.  It will be an earth wide project for *all* our safety."

"Sir, that's declaring war without an act of Congress, which is illegal," the Speaker of the House said.

"No, it's not.  We were attacked first.  They've already nearly made it here.  If Congress wants to bitch and whine, so be it.  We'll deal with it.  They're still going and it's a volunteer group going."  They all looked stunned.  "I'm not going to make people leave the planet to defend us if they don't want to.  I have ordered it is by volunteer for the mission since it's so far away and so hard to get communications back.

"I have had other world leaders asking when she's going back.  They know we have to protect everyone.  Atlantis is like a slayer, boys.  She needs support, backed up, and help but she's a grand fighter and she will help us protect the planet from the things out to get us and kill us all."

Evan nodded.  "Am I going?"

"I don't know.  Are you?"

"Yes.  I don't want to be president.  I'm fighting my own infection by the politician virus right now, Xander."

"Good."  He looked around.  "Is there anything you want to whine about right now?"

"How dare you," one said.  "You're treating us like we know less than you."

Xander stared at him.  "You do.  You've never been in a battle in your life.  You've never faced down a single thing that wants to kill you and is willing to die to do it.  They have.  I have.  Evan has."  The man went pale.  "Therefore those of us who protect everyone are going to do it again.  Even if you do whine."  He looked around again.  "Do we have any other comments?"  No one said anything.  "Good.  I know two of you are former IOA.  Needless to say you won't be reformed but you can offer your input into the stocking and necessary positions."  They nodded.  "The rest of you know because you should know."

"The people won't like it," the loudmouth complained.

"The people will cheer because they're worried they'll come back too," Evan said quietly.  "I agree.  If we could have, we should have launched back to Pegasus after that one got near here.  I have no idea how many worlds got eaten on the way."

"I was still getting briefed then and they said two had noticeable population dips," Xander said.  Evan stared at him.  "By the way, heard about that Ori ship."  He raised an eyebrow.

"What ship?" he asked.

"New rank day is tomorrow on the city and the Mountain."  Evan smirked.  "Any other questions?"  No one said anything.  "Good."

"Will you be telling the people this?" one of the quiet ones asked.

"Yes.  Tomorrow."  That got a nod and they all left.  Evan paused beside him.  "Are you?"

"She's my city too," he said calmly.

"Good."  He walked off.  He took the dogs back to take them outside and play some fetch while he thought.  They needed to wear out puppy energy before they started to chew on things again.

Evan went to his office to call John.  "What pissed him off this time?" he hissed.  He heard and sighed.  "No, I'm going."  He smiled.  "Thank you.  Yeah, you can.  Not like I do a whole lot."  He hung up and finished up his paperwork for the day then went to the gym.  He wasn't fully out of shape but he needed to be in better shape when they went back.  He knew what they'd be facing out there.

***

"How dare you!" Willow shouted once she stomped into the office.  "You don't know anything!"

Xander stared at her.  "I know a hell of a lot more than you usually give me credit for."

"Who do you think you are, Mister?" she sneered.

"I think I'm the fucking president, woman, and if you're not civil, I'll paddle your ass again!"  She flinched back and took another step back.  "Now, what is your problem?"

"You're sending Rodney away!"

"If you'd finish that degree you've been playing around with for ten years, you might have skills to go too."

"I can't take the kids!" she sneered.

"That's between you and John."  She glared.  "Atlantis is going to be a permanent base, Willow.  There are families on the other ones.  Not that many but some."

"You can't do this to us," she said.

"If it was Sunnydale and the wraith were there, what would we have done?" he countered.  She went pale.  "Even if it meant those we loved would be in danger, right?"

"How would you know?  It's not like you worried about that."

"No, I didn't give a damn about Anya at all," he said sarcastically.  "The same as you didn't about Tara."

"It's different!"

He stared at her.  "I can't believe that just came out of your mouth," he said quietly.  "I never knew you were such a switching bigot, Willow."

Rodney stomped in.  "Did she just compare us to her relationship with Tara?"

"And found yours more right.  She went back to her mother's 'that's not normative behavior' speeches."  Rodney glared at his wife.  Xander stared at her.  "You have the skills to become helpful.  Your kids are a matter that you'll have to talk about with Sheppard.  It's his city.  Until then, and until you straighten the hell up again and become human and decent, get out of my office."  She huffed off.  He looked at Rodney.  "She'll calm down in a few hours."

"I know."  He stared at him.  "It's about time."

"I know."  He gave him a weak smile.  "I've already had that same talk with Jack O'Neill too.  If you're going, take him and Buffy.  Slayers react to wraith from what the two in the program said."

"They have children as well."

Xander nodded.  "I know.  They'll figure that out.  Jack's an old warhorse and sitting behind the desk is making him antsy and edgy."

"I know."  He stared at him.  "Am I going?"

"That's between you, John, and her."

Rodney smirked.  "Are we getting more non-stupid scientists?"

"I plan on full earth cooperation for this one.  Not even the ones who hate us want us eaten by a wraith.  Atlantis is going to have her own authority if I have my way.  A subset of the military and the UN or however I do that."

Rodney blinked.  "That may work."

Xander grinned.  "I do have some ideas.  I just don't shout about them."  He saw Rodney's glance at the hallway.  "She blurts when she's upset, even if the stupidest shit comes out of her mouth," he pointed out. "She always has."

"I know.  I'll calm her down and make her apologize."

Xander shook his head.  "She hasn't been a real friend in years, Rodney.  Not since high school.  She's always thought she was more special than I am.  Even when it was proven to her that she was wrong.  It's time she grew up.  By the way, new rank day tomorrow."

"I'll spread around to be shinier than usual."  He walked out to hunt down his wife and have a loud, long argument.   He found her throwing things back on Atlantis and checked for their children.  "Radek has them?"

"Miko's back."  She glared at him.  "How dare he say that to me!"

"You decided that being in a homosexual relationship was less worthy and less loving than being in a heterosexual one.  I'm insulted on Tara's behalf too and I only know her from what I've been told."  She slumped down on the bed, staring at him.  "I think you need to work that thought out and apologize to the person who is supposed to be your oldest friend.  Though he said he thought you weren't real friends since high school."  She gave him a horrified look.

"Just don't go to the therapist that the O'Neill's are so he can't make you homophobic too."  He went to the lab to check on his precious kids.  Miko was teaching them math, which made them happy.  That made him happier and he settled in to help as well.  "We're going back," he said quietly.  She beamed at him.  He tapped his comm.  "People, a head's up.  Tomorrow is new rank day," he announced.  "I'm told we're having VIP's in to do so."  He hung up and drew out a new set of problems, going over them with the kids.

***

Xander walked into the Mountain, they were doing theirs first.  "Mitchell.  Thank you for meeting us," he said, shaking his hand.

"Sir," he said with a smile.  "He is not happy," he said quietly.  "He realizes something's going on."

"Shit happens when you're infected by politics."  They went down the long elevator ride coming out on the main floor.  Xander smiled at Chris, taking the box of things he needed.  "Front and center," he ordered the commander.  "It's new rank day."  He called the base-wide meeting in the gateroom.  Xander smiled.  "Thank you all for your help protecting this planet many times, even when we haven't heard.  Even when we lost brave people we should not have had to lose.  You guys do what you have to every day, even when it's hard, even when it's your own lives on the line, and the people need to thank you for that."

A few sniffled and he smiled.  "There have been a lot of medals and rank raises that have been held up by petty people with an agenda.  I'm here to fix that today."  He put the box down.  "I think it's going to take a while.  There's not a one of you who isn't noted as doing exceptional things as far as I know."  He pulled out the first few and read off the names, putting on the new rank insignia and handing over the official letters.  The medals as well when they had them.

Chuck had rubberbanded things together for each person.  Plus slipped in a letter.  "Chief Master Sergeant Walter Harriman."  He stepped forward looking confused.  "I know the important role that the guy who holds the doorway has.  Plus the value of an assistant who keeps things running even when chaos is flourishing.  You've served here for a long time, Walter.  Chuck said you've been at the gate console longer than he's been a super assistant."

That got a grin and a nod.  A few people snickered.  "I know how important what you do is.  You create order from the chaos, determine friend or foe, and keep us all on our toes when you need to."  He handed over the medal.  "For exemplary service in the service of earth you're awarded that shiny thing and a long letter from Chuck."  He handed it over with a smile.

"Thank you, sir."  He saluted and Xander saluted him back, letting him step back.

"We have two left," Xander said, pulling them out.  He handed one to Chris to hold.  "Colonel Carter."  She stiffened and stepped forward.  "I think you have enough pointless brass by now to make a bulletproof vest but we're going to give you more.  Everyone who served more than a year on Atlantis is getting an automatic step raise."  She smiled at that.  "And you earned a few more things for doing insane shit that worked."  He pinned them on her and handed her the box and envelope.  "Congratulations."

"Thank you, sir," she said, saluting.  He saluted back with a smile.  She stepped back.

"And now but not least, we have a major step up for someone."  He took the other box.  "You don't get many shiny things, Colonel Mitchell, but we didn't forget you."  He waved him forward, getting saluted.  "At ease.  I'm not going to stick you with these pretty stars."  A few gasped but he smiled as he pinned them on.  "I hope you continue to do insane shit that works to save us all for a very long time, General Mitchell."

He saluted him and Mitchell saluted back with a smile.  "Which leaves the dilemma of your posting since this base really isn't big enough for two generals."  The other one stared at him.  "Which is why General Clyde Deckter is going to a base in Georgia where he will be preparing people from all nations to join Atlantis."  He handed that letter to him and Cam's to him.  "Which means you might need a new chair, Mitchell.  I won't chew on you too often though."

"Thank you, sir," he said.

"Atlantis?" Deckter asked.

"Yes.  Atlantis.  She's going home in a little over a year.  We'll need the people going on her prepared for the reality of Pegasus."  He gaped.  "We've had volunteers from all over the US military and other countries' militaries as well.  Within six months you'll have to have a full program ready to train them in what they need to know.  You know what it takes to go through the gate.  You know what they need to know to survive, thrive, and win this biggest battle ever for us.  I'm trusting you to prepare them the right way."  He stared at him.  "You'll have a small corner of a bigger base to set up training areas and housing.  The base commander knows you're coming in the next few days.  That way you get a few days at home first.  Because I'm not that mean."

"No, sir, and thank you for that special appointment."

"Not a problem.  Expect the general over Atlantis to look over your shoulder a lot.  He's going to be very picky."

"I'll take his suggestions, sir."

"Thank you."  He smiled at Chris.  "Now, we have to go to Atlantis.  Have us beamed there please, General?"

"Yes, sir," they said together.  Cam called for the beam out with the box.

"Huh," Cam said, smiling at his people.  "Business as usual, people.  I mean it."  They smiled and saluted, getting one back from him.  "Go back to it.  We have to save the universe from more insane shit, that was his order."  They smiled and left him alone.  He looked at the other one.  "I'm sure you'll love the milder winters in Georgia, sir, since you didn't like our snow."

"I probably will.  I served in Texas and liked it.  Give me a few hours to pack."

"I'm not anxious to take the big desk, sir.  You take all the time you need to pack."  He grinned.  "I'm going to have some pie."  He strolled off.  There was a mass celebration in the cafeteria so he went to join in.  The all smiled at him.  "I need pie to celebrate too."  A slice was handed over to him with a fork from another person.  He sat down to get happy with the rest of them.  They deserved it.

***

Xander landed on Atlantis with Chris, looking around.  "You know, I might just have to come hide here some day," he quipped.

John looked at him.  "All the way in Pegasus?  You'd have to give up the horse."

"True.  So maybe just a hiding vacation."  He whistled.  "It's new rank and medal day, people.  Fall in!"  People came jogging in.  "That does include the scientists.  Some of them have medals too.  After all, you guys did insane shit too."  A few of the guys grinned at that and called them.  Xander looked around.  "I thought there were more of you."

"Some of them are UK people, sir," one of them said.

"Huh.  Well, I have a few of theirs too."  He held up a box.  The rest of the base got called in.  He smiled and stepped up on a step.  "Guys, thank you.  You guys did shit that not even I could do.  You did it to protect us all.  You suffered, bled, and you survived.  I'm sorry some of you didn't make it back and I mourn them all.  Their lives are not in vain though."  He looked around.  "Because we will go avenge them."

The crowd cheered and clapped.  "By the time I'm out of office, you're heading back.  I will let you know it won't just be the US and UK people with the Canadians.  It is a *voluntary* mission.  You have volunteers from all over the world who want to help you and work with you."  He took a deep breath.  "You guys will be honored and we will be setting up this beautiful, deadly city as a permanent outpost.  Like a slayer, she's going to protect all of humanity from the nastiest shit ever brought into the light or the dark."

They stared at him.  "Because you guys did such amazing things, things that even the slayers could not survive, you are all getting a step rank raise."  That got another cheer and he smiled.  "The rest of this shiny stuff was stuff that the political virus had blocked."  He pulled something out of the box and put it aside.  "I see a Sergeant Mays?"

He stepped forward.  He smiled and handed him the box and the paperwork.  "I won't even try to mess up the uniforms pinning on medals.  BDU's aren't for medals and you guys aren't in formal ones."  He winked.  The man saluted and Xander saluted back.  "That is your new shiny things, probably with a lot more to come."  The sergeant stepped back and he called the next one until he got back to the last two.  "Sheppard, did we forget to steal Lorne?"

"Yes, sir."  He called for him to be beamed back.  "Him, sir?"

"Him."  He stared at his VP.  "I think you were meant to have this last year," he said, holding up the box.  "Want me to try to mess up your shirt?"

"Please don't.  I was in the Senate."  He took the box with a grin and a salute.  Xander saluted back.  "Thank you, sir."

"Welcome.  Now, the last one, same as on the base, we have a new general."  The crowd cheered and hooted, clapping.  "General Sheppard, commander of the city of Atlantis, I do believe you are wearing the wrong shiny things on your collar."  He pulled out the stack of boxes and found the stars, changing them out.   "The rest is the shiny stuff to finish out your bulletproof vest.  Since you gave me mine when I wanted to hide."  He pinned the other three on him.  "Those are all yours."

"Thank you, sir," he said with a smirk and a salute.  Xander saluted back.  "Who is in control of the Mountain's base?"

"General Mitchell."  That got more cheers.  "Deckter is moving to Georgia to train for your people.  He knows you'll be looking over his shoulder and offering your opinion all the time."

"That's actually a good idea."  He grinned.  "Guys, go set up lunch.  We deserve a good lunch."  They walked out.  He looked at him.  "O'Neill?"

"I meant to fire that damn shrink," he told Chris.

"I had a word with Carter while you were handing out medals," Chris said.  "She is a beautiful city, Sheppard.  I can see why you love her."

"She is," he said, patting the nearest wall.  "She's a grand lady."  He looked at Xander.  "I might let you come hide too."

"Thanks.  I might need it."  He looked at Evan.  "Let's go back."

"Yes, sir."  Chris handed John the empty box.  They got beamed back.

Evan saw the surprise.  "Are we in an active discussion, people?"  They all shook their heads.  "Good.  I announce the President of the United States."  He got out of the way.

Xander stepped up to the podium.  "Good afternoon."  The room got quiet.  "I'm here to announce a new big thing."  He looked around then smiled.  "Atlantis will be going home in just over a year to protect us from any future wraith threat.  She will be going with a voluntary *international* force.  That way we do not have to worry that they will find us by accident or on purpose.

"We will not have to worry that the wraith will ever show up again.  That will leave us with the two cities we already have and plans from the people who studied the amazing cities the most in case we want to build another one."  That got a cheer from half the room.   Xander swallowed.  "I know some of you will not like this.  I'm aware some of you will think this is unnecessary.  I will tell you this.  In all my years of helping fight apocalypse after apocalypse, bad thing after bad thing, evil after evil, I have never met an enemy this strong and I would not have let it lie this long if I had a choice.

"Now, I have a choice.  Atlantis has a general in charge who knows her better than anyone.  She'll have a full complement of people willing to take that journey to another galaxy with her."  He looked around.  "We have plans of making her a permanent outpost.  So even after the wraith are gone, we will know if another threat comes."  That got another cheer.  "The Stargate program is looking at another outpost to do the same thing near where the Ori would have to come from.  Now, as I said, I know some of you will be uncomfortable.  I'm sorry about that.

"I am not declaring war because they attacked us first.  We accidentally stepped into that ancient war.  As our ancestors fought, lost, and ran; we will not and we will succeed and win."  He looked around.  "We are not declaring war because they declared it on humanity by eating us.  I honor and mourn all the lives we've already lost there and I will be putting out a statement making a moment of remembrance for them.

"For every one who spilled blood, shed their lives protecting us, they deserve to be honored.  The first one lost to the wraith on September 27th so I want that day to be a moment of remembrance.  A moment of silence for those who protected us all."  That got a lot of claps and a few nods.  "As for right now, we are making plans.  We will be making sure our people have what they need.  Those who have worked with the program before, you may be called in to offer advice based on what has happened in the past."

He smiled.  "As a happier end note, I will announce that I spent all morning handing out long overdue medals that had been held up by the virus of politics."  He grinned.  "Including the two new generals, Sheppard and Mitchell."  The crowd cheered at that news.  He nodded.  "I'll let you get back to your appointed jobs.  I wish you many easy discussions, people, and an easy day."  He walked off with Chris.  They had a car waiting because Xander had planned this.  Xander relaxed in the car, closing his eyes.  "Did I sound too dorky?" he asked quietly.

"No.  Not in the least.  You sounded very presidential," Chris assured him.  He smiled at Vin since he was driving.  "Atlantis is a beautiful city."

"She looks like it from the outside too."  He drove them back to the white house.

"Can I have a milkshake?" Xander called.

"Only if you don't find a gou'ald," Vin quipped.

"Then I'll get one in the kitchens."

Chris groaned and texted that to Lorne so he could have someone handle it.  They got in and the dogs ran out to bounce around them.  "Settle down," Chris ordered.  "Kitchen." They ran that way.  Xander followed, whistling to bring them back.  He was doing good with their obedience training.  They listened a lot more than the St. Bernards had sometimes.  And still let him play a lot.

***

Ezra walked into the apartment that night, taking off his tie.  "You look tired."

Xander smiled.  "A little bit."  He took a kiss.  "How was your day?"

"About the same as usual.  Though I did intercept Chuck hiding a call from your mother."

Xander frowned, calling him.  "My mother called?" he asked, putting it on speaker so he didn't have to hold up the phone.

"Yes, sir.  I took a message for you tomorrow but I know you don't want to talk to her."

"Why did she call?"

"Your father is ill."

"Drinking is a choice and I'm sure it's related to that.  What did she want from me?  To pay for it?"

"She didn't say.  Just to tell you that your father was ill.  Do you want me to put her through tomorrow?"

"No, you transfer her to my phone," Ezra ordered.  "That way I don't have to talk to mine."

"Sure, I'll talk to yours, you talk to mine," Xander agreed.  "Thanks, Chuck."

"Welcome, Xander."  He hung up and packed up for the night.

Xander looked at his mate.  "You sure you want to talk to her?"

"Yes.  That way you don't have to stress about that on top of other things."  He took a kiss.  "They interrupted the soap operas to show your speech."  Xander smiled.  "You sounded very good."

"Thank you for helping me write that."

"It was too important to let anyone else help you."  He took a kiss.  "Why are you tired?"

"Russia, India, and Brazil wanting in.  I told them what we were doing and when plus how to get Sheppard."  Ezra smiled at that.  "Russia kept me on the phone for almost an hour talking about his slayer's new daughter since she was there to call."

"That's wonderful."  He moved Xander's feet and sat down under them.  Xander shifted to lay his head in his lap.  "Dinner?"

"Waiting on us in the fridge."

"Excellent.  I'm too tired to cook."  He yawned.  "I had reports all day outside of the debriefing before the trial next month."  Xander hummed.  Ezra smiled, petting the dark hair.  Xander was softly snoring after a minute.  Ezra relaxed and let himself sleep as well.  The dogs raced in to jump on top of Xander.

One of the guards took a picture to show the others.  It was adorable of them.  He decided to let it slip and got enough money to have a really good anniversary.  Of course, it would be a problem when he got found out and fired the next day by Gibbs.

***

Xander watched ET the next afternoon, grimacing at the picture.  "I look ancient."

"You do not," Vin told him.  "It's cute.  Especially with the dogs."  They lifted their heads so he let them outside.  They came back a minute later and got petted before laying down again.

Xander smirked at the report that it had been snuck out by a guard.  "Really?"

"Fired," Vin assured him.  "Gibbs yelled for a good half hour."

"Good.  Which one?"

"Richard."

"Cool."  He leaned back.  "Is everyone ignoring me today?"

"They have to be.  Evan isn't taking calls."

"Huh."

"The reporters wanted to know why you hate them."

"For the same reason that they decided I was suddenly weak for being happy."

"I'll point that out the next time they yell at us."  He grimaced.  "When are you and Ez taking another weekend somewhere?"

"I think next month we're going to be in lower Missouri to look over a pretty campus and a city with a river festival."

"I haven't heard that yet."  He texted Chris who said they knew and was going to be briefed the next meeting.  "Okay."  He put his phone up.  "So.  What else are we doing today?"

"I'm hoping a nap.  I'm still exhausted."

Vin looked at him.  "You do look tired."

"I slept all night.  Until Ez's alarm clock went off at seven, I was napping.  We fell asleep right after he got back."

"That's almost ten hours."  Xander nodded.  "Are you feeling sick?  Sniffles?"

"No."

"Huh."  He called someone.  "Doctor, it's Vin Tanner at the White House.  The president is feeling really worn down and we're not sure why.  No, I know he beamed yesterday.  That wouldn't matter, right?"  He listened.  "In the office.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "She'll make sure the beaming couldn't have hurt you."  He looked.  Xander was asleep sitting up. "Shit," he muttered.  He texted that and Nathan came in about the same time the doctor got there.  Vin nodded at him.  "When I was calling," he said quietly.

"That is odd."  She ran the scanner over him, frowning.  "How did he get poisoned?"  Vin stiffened, sitting upright to stare at her.  "It's a slight case.  The taint is helping fight it off."  She called someone.  "This is Doctor Carolyn Lam.  I need a team for the president.  He's got some arsenic in his blood system.  Quietly."  She hung up.  "Agent Tanner, we're removing him to one of the local hospitals.  I have privileges there."  He nodded, calling Ezra.  She gave him an odd look.  "Who?"

"His husband."  He heard it be picked up.  "Ezra, your mate was poisoned.  He's got some arsenic in his system.  Doctor Lam is taking him to the hospital."  Xander woke up with a snore and an odd look at them.  "You were poisoned."

"I was?"

"Yes," Doctor Lam said.  "We're going to take you in to do a lot of blood work.  Your husband can come sit with you."

Tony jogged in.  "Paramedics are here.  Bethesda or General?"

"General," she ordered.  He reported that and helped the president up.  "You'll be fine."

He blinked at her.  "I used to lick rat traps, Doc.  I'm not going to die from this.  I might be pretty sick for a few days but I'll be fine."

"I'm sure you will be.  Thankfully the taint you have from the mermaid stuff was is helping fight it off.  That's why you're so tired."  She helped him onto the gurney and followed it.  "Have him meet us, Tanner."

"He's being picked up by McGee," Vin said, following.  Tony got into the ambulance in the front.  Vin and Chris followed along.

***

Ezra hung up and threw his phone, taking a deep breath.  "I have to cut this short."

"Sir, it is mandatory that you answer...." the lawyer started.

Ezra glared at him.  "My husband was poisoned.  Your petty, pedantic questioning will have to wait for another, more suitable day."  He picked up his phone on the way out the door.  "Which hospital, Bucklin?"

"General.  McGee's picking us up so we don't have to drive."  They walked outside and found him pulling in.  They got in and headed to the hospital.  The lights were on so they could break as many traffic laws as they wanted.  "Any news on what?"

"She told Tony it was arsenic, the taint was actually fighting it and that's why he was so tired."

"We'll be having her test Ezra once we get there," Buck said.  "Then make sure someone tests Lorne."

"Gibbs is already having Ducky go draw blood so we can run it."

"Good.  I have no idea how he got it."

"We're not sure but we will find out," Buck said firmly.  "Just stay calm."

"I am calm.  For now."  They pulled into the hospital's parking lot and he got out as soon as they stopped, walking inside.  "Where is my spouse?" he asked the desk person.

"Sir, we're closed right now."

"I know that.  My spouse was just brought in here."

"Sir, we don't have any female....."

"Anthony!" he called.  Tony leaned out and waved him back.  He grimaced, walking in there.  "She tried to tell me there were no women here."

The doctor snorted.  "He's not a wife."  She ran the scanner over him.  "You have some too but it's a lot less.  How long have you been tired?"

"It's been pre-trial motions and debriefings plus reports for the last week."  He considered it more carefully.  "Wednesday I was absolutely exhausted for no reason.  Last night I fell asleep within minutes of him and I don't usually find myself able to sleep sitting up."

"Okay so between Wednesday and yesterday probably," she said.  He nodded.  She got a needle and held it up.  He took off his jacket and shirt without protest.  She smiled, popping the needle in easily.  She pulled seven vials of blood and handed them off once they were labeled.  Gibbs brought in another tray of blood vials to run.  "The Vice President's?" she asked.

"Yes.  He doesn't feel sick but he has been a bit tired.  He thought it was all the arguing going on."

"Before Wednesday, boss?" Tony asked.

"He didn't say."  Tony texted him to find that out.   "Any idea what medium it was given to them through?"

"Probably ingestion but it might have been touch-given," she said.  She got reports back a few minutes later and read it over.  "That's not good.  Ezra, you show about the same amount."

"We haven't been out together in a while," he said.  "But we have had people in common around us."

"Could this be about the trial you have coming up?" Gibbs asked him.

Ezra shook his head.  "No.  I'm important but Chris's testimony is more important."

"Okay.  Could this be about Atlantis?" Tony asked.  "There's some who're unhappy."

"He hasn't really been in public since he was handing out medals and then in Congress."

She got Evan's results.  "His is infected as well.  It's just barely showing up."  Gibbs went to get him from the Senate.

Ezra considered it.  "Could it have been on something like the podium that Evan uses?  Passed to me somehow through a kiss or something?  His gums were bleeding last night when I kissed him."

"Possibly.  He touched it first, then Evan got the infection second?" she said.  He nodded.

"You probably wouldn't have gotten that high of a dose from his blood," Tony said.  "Not unless you swallowed a lot of it."

"Not that much, no."

She shrugged.  "You'll figure that out.  My job is to treat you.  I need to put you both on an IV.  I need consent to treat you both, Ezra."

"You have it."  She let him sign the papers then started their IV's.  Evan stomped in.  "You have a very minimal dosage."

"Okay.  We can treat me today?  Will I have to be admitted?"

"I can treat you with IV medicine but you'll need bed rest tonight.  You can all come back to the Mountain if we need you to."

"Take him," Evan said.  "If we both disappear, the Speaker for the House takes over and I don't want that."  She nodded, having them beamed back to be treated while Jennifer Keller came to treat him.  "Doc," he said when she appeared.

"Colonel.  Arsenic?"

"Apparently."

"I'm sure the guards will be finding out who," she said.  She started the IV medicine and looked over the bloodwork that came in, drawing some more to check something else.  He sat down and let her do what she needed to do.  "I see his taint is working for him this time," she said quietly.

"Thank God."  He sighed, looking at her.  "How long?"

"Bed rest?  Two days.  Him?  A week probably."  She smiled.  "You'll live.  You have the least of the three of you."

He nodded at that.  "Good."  He settled in and concentrated on keeping his temper.  "Gibbs, find them.  I want them begging at my feet as soon as humanly possible.  Then I get to torture the asshole before you arrest him."

"We'll find him as soon as we can, sir."  He called Chris to start with the kitchen and the senate.  Abby was going to swab things for them.  JD was bringing her over.  He smiled at the report.   Evan gave him a pointed look.  "Abby said she's going to practice her knife work to get more spatter pictures for her artwork series."

"I enjoy the hell out of Abby.  She's a nice girl.  Bit too wild for me to date but very sweet," he said quietly.  He called someone with his free hand.  "It's Evan Lorne.  No, he's being treated for the arsenic poisoning we all have.  I'll be back on duty tonight.  He'll be off all week.  No, I don't need someone to step in for us.  He's awake and all that, just worn out.  He can handle his duties.  No, he's at the SGC's infirmary to make sure he's fine.  No one gets in there and the doctors are rabid.  Thank you for the offer."  He hung up and leaned his head back.  "I agree, politics is a virus and it's contagious."

"That's why I don't pay any attention to them outside of looking for weapons," Gibbs said.  "Need anything, Doctor?"

"Get both of us some bottled water please, Agent Gibbs.  He'll need it and I need a drink."  He nodded, going to grab them from the store in the hospital.  With Xander gone they could reopen the ER for the most part.  There would be a clear area around Evan's room but otherwise it was business as usual.  The agents could rip the city apart to find out what the hell was going on.  Because they were going to make someone beg to visit the ER.

***

Xander blinked, staring at Evan since he was sitting beside him.  "Did I pass out again?" he asked.

"No.  They made me quit pacing.  I was upsetting the guys."  He stared at him.  "It wasn't aimed at you."

"Who did it?"

"Someone who admitted they wanted to make me sick enough that I couldn't go to Pegasus so I'd have to stay and take over the white house."

Xander grimaced.  "They dead?"

"Begging for it."  He shifted to lean closer.  "You scared the hell out of us, Xander."

"You don't usually worry."

Evan stared at him.  "You are a friend, Xander, even when I have my head up my ass."  Xander grinned at him.  He grinned back.  "Ezra is getting dinner for you both.  The whole base is seriously worried about you."

"Is he all right?  And you?"

"We're fine.  We got light dosages from you.  Your mermaid taint was helping the arsenic poisoning be eaten faster.  Otherwise you would've died."

Xander nodded.  "Can I make them beg more?  I don't want to lose Ezra yet," he said quietly.

"He would've lost you."

"If I'm dead, I lost him too."

"Good point.  No, she's in jail.  Unless you call in a favor to have a demon pop in to eat her, you can't torture her."  He patted him on the hand.  "Want something to drink?"  Xander nodded so Evan got him some water with a straw, holding it so he could drink.  "Before you can ask, we'll be fine.  Your old liver damage isn't causing any new problems.  You'll be just fine after you rest for a few more days."

Xander nodded.  "Can I go home and rest?"

"Tomorrow.  The doctors have been fantastic superstars for you."

Xander smiled.  "They deserve nice chocolates."  Evan gave him a confused look.  "Most girls like chocolate."

"She might like that."  He shifted.  "People have been worried all over the mountain.  Are you up to being stared at?" Xander shrugged a bit.  "Okay."  He smiled.  "Mitchell wanted to come in and complain that everyone is insane."

"So are all the slayers."

"Good point."  He grinned.  "You rest.  Ezra will be back soon.  We aren't leaving you alone until you can get back to the white house."

"The puppies?"

"Chris has them at the farm.  They've decided to sleep in the barn.  Snuck out the first night."  Xander grinned at that, shifting onto his side.  Evan helped tuck him in.  "You rest."  Xander nodded, drifting off.  He settled in again, looking over when Cam walked in.  "He's been up, gotten a sit rep, reminded you the slayers are just as insane, and went back to sleep," he said quietly.

"They are, the two here definitely are."  He clapped him on the shoulder.  "Go get dinner."

"When Ezra gets back."

"Sure, I get that.  He's a good friend to have according to John."  He smiled.  "He'll be fine."

"He will be."

Ezra walked in with a box.  "Is he awake?"

"Woke up and drifted off just now," Evan said, giving up the chair for him.  Xander hummed.  "Ezra's back."

Xander blinked at him, smiling.  "I'd hate to miss you."  He took a kiss.  "Can you cuddle?"

"Tomorrow.  That bed is not big enough but we'll cuddle tomorrow."  He petted him and Xander drifted off again.  Ezra put the box down next to him so he could eat later.  He moved the chair closer and sat down.  "Thank you, Evan."

"Welcome, Ezra."  He left with Cam, going to eat and then relax for a bit.

***

Xander blinked at the man who walked in the next day.  "Do I know you?  You look familiar."  He knew who the asshole was but he wasn't going to give it away.

"I'm the traumatic incidence counselor," he said, sitting down next to him.  "I was wondering if you wanted to talk."

Xander stared at him.  "No, because I'd hate to have to kill you for trying to make me homophobic like you have others."  The man reared back.  He blinked a few more times.  "I could've sworn I had you fired."

"Magic is not real," he sneered.

Xander looked up and mentally called.  "I'm not supposed to show up there," a voice called.  "We did promise."

"Now," Xander called.  "I summoned it's not going to break that."  The demon appeared, making the man shriek and hop up to back away from him.  Xander looked at him.  "Yes, he got here by magic, he's a demon yet he's actually fairly nice and decent, not at all harmful, and you're still a homophobic asshole."

"That's not magic," he said hotly.

Xander snapped and set his tie on fire for him.  "Really?  Huh."  The demon snickered, patting him on the arm.  He looked at him.  "DC?"

"Loud.  A lot of loud people."

"Yay," he said flatly.  "Thank you for showing off for me."

"You're welcome, Xander.  I do owe you a lot of favors from Sunnydale."  He disappeared.

"And see, magical leaving."  The man was still thumping on his tie to put it out.

Carolyn Lam walked in and saw what he was doing.  "I thought you couldn't do that, sir," she said.

"Well, I did nearly die," he said dryly.  He grinned.  She smirked back.  She knew that was a lie.  "I fired him.  I could've sworn I did because he was talking people around to his point of view and making people assholes."

"I hadn't heard that."

"Hmm.  Talk to the O'Neill kids."

"One is here," she admitted.  She glared at the therapist until he ran off.  She let the child in.

"Uncle Xander!" she yelled, hopping up to hug him.  "Hi!"

"Hi, sweetheart."  He gave her a hug.  "I'm all right."

"Mommy said you're gay.  What's that?"

"That means I'm married to Uncle Ezra."

"Oh.  Is that bad?"

"No.  Your mommy was brainwashed and you can tell her that the next time she calls me gay."

She grinned and cuddled.  "You're so neat."

"Thank you."

"Can I see the puppies?"

"They're with the horse."

"When you get to Denver can I visit?"

"You sure can."  She grinned and snuggled in better.  Buffy walked in and gave him a dirty look.  "I think your mommy is here."

"So?  She's grumpy today.  She's having girl issues and Daddy's sleeping on the couch again."

"Yeah, that happens to all girls sometimes."  He patted her on the back.  "What're you doing today?"

"Visiting you and the mountain.  They do fairytale things here.  Did you know that?"

"I did.  I was here the other day to give out medals and things."

"Wow.  Medals are pretty."

"They are and you get them for really good work.  Like gold stars in school."

"I get a lot of those," she said proudly.  She put her head back down.  "Mommy, why don't you go be grumpy at Daddy?  That way I can cuddle."

"I think Uncle Xander needs to rest," she said firmly.

"No, I'm good.  I get to go home today."

"Are you going to Denver?" the girl asked.

"No, not yet.  Next year I get to start moving stuff back to Denver."

"Shoot."

"But then you'll be old enough for us to teach you how to ride," Ezra said as he walked around Buffy.  "My gelding and Companion are both gentle enough to teach you on."  She squealed and launched herself at him to hug him.  Xander grinned, not minding being kicked by her.

Buffy took her back.  "You can learn how to ride when they come to Denver."

She smirked.  "Daddy said I could too."

"That's fine."  She walked off.  She had to talk to her daughter again about gay things.  "Dear, you know how Uncle Xander is married to Uncle Ezra?  We think the marriage isn't legal in this state," she said carefully.

She looked at him.  "Uncle Xander said you've been brainwashed."  She growled.  The girl smirked at her.  "Because you told me before that Auntie Willow used to be with Auntie Tara.  You said they were very happy."

"But...."

"You did," Jack called from his office.  Buffy walked in there.  "You told her stories about Tara and Willow."  He took his daughter.

"But....."

Jack looked at her.  "I heard the counselor we've been seeing got fired for manipulating his patients.  Also, he just told Xander magic wasn't real.  He's been trying to convince Willow of that."

She snorted.  "He's wrong about that."

"He's wrong about a lot.  He is not what I had in mind when we started to talk to him."  She glared, arms crossed over his chest.  "You accepted it with Willow and Tara but you don't want Xander to be happy?"

She huffed and sat down.  "It's not that.  What if she turns gay, Jack?" she asked quietly.

"Then she is.  She'll be whatever she wants to be, Buffy.  Whoever makes her happy will."  Buffy scowled.  He smirked.  "You look like a pouty teenager."

"I'm not a pouty teenager!"

"Then quit sulking."  They shared a look and he won.  She huffed but he won.  "Thank you."

"Fine.  Some of his ex's could still come after her."

"They're almost all in jail.  Beyond that, I'd worry more about the people coming after her because of what *we* did with our youths."

Buffy shuddered.  "I don't like that," she admitted.

He stared at her.  "I'm being offered the head diplomatic job on Atlantis."

"You'd have to leave us here."

"Sheppard is dealing with the family issue.  They have safety plans for evacuation and we can make a place on the mainland for families.  Otherwise we might lose McKay."

She shook her head.  "I like being retired."

He nodded.  "Okay."  She relaxed.  "I'd expect Willow to be stressing about that."

"She is.  She's been yelling that he can't leave her to go fight space vampires.  That's why we're babysitting tonight.  So they can have a yelling match."

"That's fine.  I'll be done in an hour.  I need to meet with Lorne."

"We can get a snack."

"We have to meet with Lorne.  The two slayers want to go."

She considered it.  "They said they react to wraith.  They're not human so we can fight them.  That would be up to Giles."

"You are on the Council's board," he reminded her.  "Which means you can make suggestions."  She nodded she knew that. "A few more want to join the program as well.  Some of the ones who're just old enough."

She nodded more slowly.  "Have they talked to the girls here?"  Jack nodded.  "Can we get them back for apocalypses?  We'll have one in the next two years."

"We can as long as we have some warning."

"Then that's their choice as long as they're making an informed choice."

"Good."  He smiled.  "Let's go talk to Evan."  She nodded, taking their daughter to walk off.  He followed.  She was having some troubles adjusting to things but she was going to be fine.  Willow had told him she went through judgmental phases in the past and recovered well enough.  She would this time as well.  Even if he had to nudge and sleep on the couch a few more nights.  She smiled back at him and he knew he was off the couch again.

***

Xander waved as he walked out of the helicopter.  He was walking slowly but he was doing it on his own.  The dogs ran out to pounce them and he fell to his knees, petting them with coos and love.

Ezra helped him up and took control of the leashes.  "Bed," he ordered with a smile.  They walked in together.  Ezra glared when the press secretary came toward them carrying a handful of paper.  "Not now.  He is under orders to be in bed for the rest of the week."

"Is he all right?  Is it going to complicate things later on?"

"No, he's fine," Ezra said.  "They found no lasting damage.  He simply needs to rest for the next few days."  That got a nod and the press secretary walked off.  Ezra walked his charges off, taking them to tuck them into bed.  Xander sighed in pleasure, grinning at him.  "You rest."  He kissed him on the forehead then the lips.  "I'll make sure no one bothers you."

"Can you drive off the protestor for a few days so I don't have to watch him?" he asked quietly.

"I can do so or at least make him change areas he's protesting in."  He walked off, leaving the dogs to guard him for a few minutes.  He walked outside.  "You are upsetting Xander and he's been ordered to bed for the next week," he said as he walked up to him.  "Please move your simpleton's protest up the road to another side of the building."  He stared at him.

"What happened to him?"

"Someone planning to mildly poison Colonel Lorne got him instead.  He's just out of the hospital and while he might tolerate your protest sometimes, I cannot.  Not when it's upsetting him today."

"I can move down some.  For today."

"Thank you."  He pointed.  "That is out of line of sight.  Please."  He walked off to go talk to the other staffers.  "Xander is to rest for the next three days," he noted firmly.  "No stress, Chuck."

"I've kept you informed of anything that came in outside of his mother.  I didn't think you'd be up to dealing with her."

"No, I was not.  Has she called today?"

"Earlier."  He handed over the message.

"I'll call her back before I go upstairs then."  He looked at the others.  "Do we have anything stressful to deal with?"

"Some members of congress say that sending Atlantis back is declaring war without the approval of Congress, which is illegal," the white house counsel said.

"We were attacked first."

"They said that we should have known that they abandoned the city for a reason."

"Have John talk to them?"

"That's brilliant and I'll talk to him.  Is he going to be all right?"

"He's going to be fine.  They took care of the poisoning.  He's back on good footing, he simply needs rest."

"We can make sure nothing bothers him," Gibbs assured him.

"Thank you.  He's on a soft diet," he warned.  "Soothing things because he started to cough when he was first moved."

"We can handle that," Gibbs agreed.  "By the way, your mother called DiNozzo."

"I'll talk to her after I talk to his."  He scratched his eyebrow.  "Thank you."  He walked off to his office to call Xander's mother.  "Mrs. Harris?  Ezra Standish.  No, not his assistant, your son-in-law."  She choked and spluttered.  "No, he's resting because he's been ill for the last few days.  He's just out of the hospital himself."

He listened to her complain.  "Well, you won't be speaking to him.  You can speak to me and I'll tell him what's going on but it will be months before he'll have time to speak to you because of the Atlantis project.  He's already working twenty hour days at the moment because of it."  She complained some more.  "What did you need to talk to him about?  You told his assistant that his father was ill?"

He listened and grimaced.  "Yes, I know and understand about liver damage.  He had some himself from an apocalypse battle and some torture.  He was in the hospital for weeks."  He smirked.  "Well, I do believe that cirrhosis is the price alcoholics pay," he admitted.  "I do know that he cannot donate a section for a transplant due to that pernicious DNA taint.  It would be forbidden and could kill your spouse.  No, Xander told me that his drinking is his choice.  Therefore he took the choice to have that problem pop up."

He stared at his desk while she ranted.  "If Xander had needed some when he was tortured would you have offered?" he asked.  She hung up.  "That takes care of that complaining period."  He dialed his mother's phone.  "Mother, you called?"  He listened.  "No, Mother, he's fine.  A slight poisoning but he's well and in bed for the next few days to finish his recuperation."  JD brought in a mug of tea.  "Thank you, Mr. Dunn.  Mother said hello."

"Hi, Maude," he called with a grin.  "I doctored it," he mouthed.  Ezra smirked and nodded, letting him go.  Ezra sipped, nodding it was good.  "No, Mother.  Arsenic actually.

Well, if you so chose, you could talk to your in-laws who want him to pay for things."  He took another sip.  "Yes, definitely.  No, he's incredibly busy or else he would have called you before now.  Mother, I'm not worried about his will.  That is not the man I am.  No matter how hard you tried.  Now please drop that mention.

"No, I'm quite sure he has one.  I helped him put it into legal language.  I'm quite aware of what I get and I'd rather have him than things.  Because, Mother, I'm not shallow.  No matter how much you tried.  Now, it's been a trying week and I need to fuss over my mate.  Did you need anything beyond complaining?"  He took a larger drink.  "Hmm.  He has said he can go to the Council's witches to help him carry one if we want children and of course I would be the biological father so it would come to me to raise."  He smirked.

"Mother, I would never rob my own offspring of anything coming to it."  He finished his tea.  "Now, anything else?  Because if we wanted children that badly, I could go to the same witches."  She choked so he hung up.  He went to brush his teeth and rinse out his mouth with mouthwash.  Xander woke up when he slid into bed.  "I talked to both our mothers."

"Is that why you smell like brandy?"

"It is.  JD made me a wonderful cup of brandy with tea."

"Cool."  He snuggled in, moving one of the dogs out of his way.  It whined and cuddled in again.  "I'm sorry I moved you," he soothed, petting him.  He smiled at Ezra.  "What did your mother want?"

"To make sure I was taken care of in your will or to find an heir you'd let me be an overseer for."

"If you want kids, we have to talk to the witches."

"I told her that and that I was also eligible to talk to them about carrying.  She's choking on her tongue but may take my hint to talk to your mother."

"Cirrhosis?"

"Yes.  I pointed out you couldn't donate and yours had been injured as well due to torture."  He took a kiss.  "Rest.  They'll bring us dinner later."  He nodded, snuggling in.  Ezra picked up his book to read, smiling at the inquisitive grunt.  Since it was in French, he read it to him in that language.  Xander fell asleep with a grin.  That was good for them.

***

Chris answered his phone.  "Larabee."  He grimaced.  "How did you get my number, Maude?"  Vin gave him a dirty look.  He shrugged back.  "Yeah, the witches said they could help Ezra carry if Xander couldn't and they wanted kids.  Dawn would definitely help him do that.  I don't think they're thinking about it until after they're out of DC.  That way the kid isn't infected by politics."

He smirked at Vin, who was snickering quietly.  "No, I was thinking about that option myself actually.  That way I'm not alone either."  She snarled and hung up.  He put his phone aside.  "We'll have to arrest whoever she bribed to get my phone number."

"You know you're not alone anymore," Vin said quietly.

Chris smiled and nodded.  "I'm not."  Vin grinned, moving closer.  "One more year and we're back at home again."

"We hope," Vin teased.

"Xander's going to say no if they press it.  Evan too."

Vin grinned.  "Good!  It'll be nice to get back to the simple things."

"And his arms collection that Ezra will have to weed out," Chris teased.

"Definitely."  He took a kiss.  "Can we not be alone tonight?"

"You want me to get the puppies?" he teased with an evil smirk.

"Please don't.  Cold, wet noses kept interrupting my fun."  Chris smirked and took him upstairs.

***

Gibbs stopped them the next morning.  "For obvious reasons I'm going to shift you two off the same detail," he said quietly.

"We've been together for years," Vin said smugly.

"You got a death threat last night, Tanner."

Chris looked at him.  "Did you go behind my back and date?" he joked.

"No!"  He swatted him.  "Dumbass."  He looked at Gibbs.  "We keep it professional on the ground."

"Fine.  It's not a secret by the way.  Someone called your phone, Tanner, and it answered."

"Shit."

"Basically.  It was the comm officer asking about the dogs."

"Is he spreading it?" Chris asked.

"No.  Not at the moment.  He did want me to warn you that you'd be assigned to different guard teams."

Chris scowled but nodded.  "Hasn't mattered in a while but yay."

"Secret Service rules," Vin said quietly.

"Which is why I'm going to be happy to get back to Denver."

"We think they won't tap him again?" Gibbs asked.  "Or Evan?"

"No, we won't be seeing it," Vin said with a smile.  "He up and around?"

"No.  Ezra ran out to get them croissants and is spoiling him with them and reading something French to him."

"That's Ez for ya," Vin agreed, walking around him.  "Wonder if there's any croissants left."

"The chef has some on the cafeteria bar," Gibbs said dryly.  Vin grinned, going to get something flaky for breakfast.  Gibbs shook his head but Chris was snickering.  "Go talk to him.  I've got here and you were on his team today."

"Thanks."  He walked off to chew the comm officer a new one.  Someone had to.

***

Evan walked into the press room with Xander.  "We're going to make a short statement," Evan said.  "So just sit and listen."  They stared at them.  "I do not want to be elected for the higher office or to be VP after this term."  A few gasped.  "When Atlantis launches, my spot is as her second-in-command and that's what I want.  I've been honored to serve here but I won't be doing another term in any manner."

"Mr. Harris, are you planning on running?" one asked.

Xander shook his head.  "No.  You guys drive me nuts.  I actually started to feel infected by politics recently because I was thinking like one.  I creeped myself out."  He gave them a smile.  "It's better for my health if I don't drop dead of a stroke during a fight with someone dumb who wants something stupid."

"We were told you didn't keep any lasting damage from the poisoning," another said, frowning.

"I didn't.  It doesn't mean that Doctor Lam didn't put me on blood pressure medicine.  Apparently mine was through the roof when she checked on me.  I've been getting headaches from all the stuff that I'm clueless about and I'm going to either have a stroke or a seizure some day on some senator who wants me to be more political.  Either that or I'm going to let my temper go and I'm going to start telling people what I really think.  Because I will never be infected by the virus known as politics.  It's not the man I am.  We both hope the next people who take the jobs are just like us.  Plain spoken, non-political, able to help people that need it."

"Someone who can handle all the stuff that neither of us really get.  I know I'm disappointing my grandfather horribly but my duty is on Atlantis."

"Are you retiring early?" one asked.

"No.  Atlantis is going to launch the last day of our terms and I'm going to be on her.  I don't want to disappoint people but I feel called to that."

"Like I'm called to help the Council.  Half the new slayers haven't even had me threaten their boyfriends yet," Xander quipped.  He gave them a smile.  "We love you guys and are honored at being given this gift of an office that causes ulcers and headaches, but we'll help whoever settle in.  We know people are starting to speculate."

"Who are you going to get behind?" one asked.

"We haven't heard that anyone's announced," Evan said.  "When we do, we'll evaluate based on our criteria, but as far as I know no one's running for election."

"Thank you for being honest with us," one said with a smile.  "You're definitely not the usual politician."

"I hope the next one's more like us than the usual one too," Xander quipped dryly.  "Because that virus that makes them act that way?  It sucks.  I consider it worse to the human body than AIDS and more damaging to society too."  That got a few odd looks but a few grinned.  "It does more harm to society than any other disease in history outside the plague epidemics in the middle ages.  The conservative people who will scream about those comparisons can scream for all I care.

"I never cared what they thought before and most of the time laughed at what they complained about.  Especially the ones that complained I'm gay while showing pictures of me in my tightest and most alluring clothes."  That got more laughs.  They knew who he was talking about.  "Thank you and to the people who voted for us."  They left them alone.  They could hide in the oval office for a bit.  Evan grinned at Chuck.  "Anything new on the shouting?"

"Still some shouting but General Sheppard made a passionate speech that had some people crying.  A few that thought you were going to declare war without a Congressional resolution are bending."

"The UN Security council?" Evan asked.

"They passed a resolution that Atlantis is an international project to protect everyone on this planet, human and not.  That is before Congress and some are being vindictive for not asking them yet."

"I have that bill to present tomorrow," Evan said.  Chuck smiled.  "Do we think they'll try to turn it down?"

"I don't know," Chuck said.  "A few said that Xander called them whiny."

"They are whiny," Xander pointed out.  "In six months we'll have a partially new Congress."

Evan grinned at that.  "Yes, we will."  They went over the resolution the UN had made, then over theirs.  It was similar.  It would fly, even among the vindictive.  Especially with an apocalypse between now and the launching.

Time For A Hand-Over.

Xander looked over the people running for his job and shuddered.

Ezra stared at him.  "The people will survive."

"I hope."  He let him see them.

Ezra looked them over then at him.  "So ask someone to run."

"I'm not sure who should."

Ezra gave him a pointed look.  "You've had a hopeful wish in the back fo your head for months."

He sighed.  "She's sick."

"Curable?"

"Maybe."

"Then ask."

"I did, she said she's sick."

"Oh.  Who else was on your dream list?"

"Vermont's senior House member.  Washington's junior senator but he's sure he wants to be a senator for a few more years.  I've talked to them."

"Hmm."  He looked over the options they had available, grimacing.  "How about that nice man from Louisiana?"

"Gay basher who'd react or the other one?"

"The other one," Ezra said patiently, giving him a dirty look.

Xander grinned.  "He's not eligible.  He's a year too young."

"By the time of election?"

"Yup."

"Damn.  I was hoping.  He could make a good vice president."

"He might.  I was thinking something radical.  You know Manuel Del Santos?"

Ezra blinked a few times.  "The former judge?"

"Yes."

He tipped his head to the side.  "He's in his sixties so eligible.  He's a fairly well known judge.  Most of Congress knows him.  His decisions have been quoted a few times."  He nodded.  "He might make a good one."

"We'd have to deal with the backlash because he's Hispanic."

"Perhaps.  Though he has given a few anti-gay rights decisions."

"He's very strict in his interpretation.  If not, Andrew, his eldest son."

"You have to pick a Supreme Court nominee anyway."

"Thadius Cole."

Ezra smiled.  "He's smarmy."

"He is but he's good.  He's a good judge.  He's got a well-defined bullshit meter.  He reminds me of Judge Judy only he's a higher judge and he likes hos."

"True.  He does remind me of her.  Including how he dresses."

"Yeah, that he does.  Want to help him?"

"No, not really."  He smirked at his husband.  Xander grinned back.  "For that, I will make you go shopping again."

"I could use some new jeans."

"Hmm.  We'll see what I put you in this time."  He crossed his feet, taking a sip of his coffee.  "Anyone else on your dream list?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"Ask Evan about his?"

"I haven't."  He called him.  "Who's on your wish list to follow us?  Crappy and worse.  She said she's sick.  I asked."  He listened to him, making a few notes.  "I hadn't thought about him.  He'd get the 'protecting us' votes.  No, I was thinking about Manuel Del Santos or his elder son."  Evan laughed and said he'd never take it but that he was a good human being as a choice.  "Please.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "He had a few ideas."  He got the dossiers on them.  Not great but decent on some things.  They'd never understand the politics either.  Xander sat down to list out his known needs for the job.  Then he ranked them by that.  "We still have no one that's empathic with the people."  Evan walked in and looked over his shoulder.  "Ezra likes that loud yahoo in Louisiana."

"I like some of his stances but not all of them.  He's a bit rabid though.  They might have to put him on tranquilizers."  He grimaced.  "They don't rank high on the international scale either.  Odds makers are saying that we're all screwed."

"So ask for someone like Taylor DeCants," Ezra said dryly.  They stared at him.  "He owns a business, has met with multiple world leaders.  Talks the same language as Congress but doesn't do more than listen and then walk off cackling usually."

"His political leanings are conservative and troublesome in some areas," Xander said quietly.  "He's one that spoke out about us being burned at the stake.  Someone like him I can see but not him."

"There's a few in that category of people," Evan said.  "Let me call my grandfather."  He went to do that from his desk.  Hopefully his grandfather no longer had a headache about his announcement.  He was still disappointed but agreed that Evan had a duty and a calling that had to come first.  He could always be president when he came home for good.  Evan avoided that point.  He got a good list of names that would uphold the same sort of politics he and Xander did.  Some of them were even decent human beings that weren't fully infected with the politician virus.

***

Xander met with the last one on their mutual list.  "Mr. Del Santos, please, come in.  Want some coffee or tea?"

"No thank you."  He sat down in front of him.  "I know you're looking for a supreme court nominee.  Am I meeting you because of that?"

"No."

"Then why are we meeting, Mr. President?"

"Because I want to possibly have you in my seat some year."  The other man gave him an odd look.  "Right now I've narrowed the list of people I want to support down to about seven.  You and your oldest son are the last ones I need to meet with to make a decision."  He sipped his coffee.  "Are you sure you wouldn't like some?  Ezra made it so it's the good stuff."

"No, thank you anyway," he said, looking a bit confused.  "I've never mentioned any higher aspirations."

"Which is a point in your favor.  You know the system but you're not a politician.  You can speak the language yet won't get sucked in by the rhetoric or anything like it.  You have views I agree and disagree with."

"I would feel comfortable if we were talking about the Supreme Court opening, sir."

"Thadius Cole."

"I respect that man's views even though I find him personally slimy."

"Yeah, me too."  He smirked.  "He's a favored one of Congress.  His raising up will go easier."

"Probably true."  He shifted and stared at him.  "My eldest son is a good man."

"So I've heard."

"He is not totally friendly to gay people."

"Everyone's allowed to have their opinion on that matter."

"As you've said before."  He considered it.  "I really wouldn't feel comfortable taking such a high office.  I feel I would cause dissension."

"Because of your race or your views?"

"Probably my race."

"Possibly but you have served for years as a federal judge.  You have strong opinions that you actually thought about before you said them.  You even researched some of them."

He smirked.  "All true.  I pride myself on thinking before I speak."  He considered it in that light.  "Have you spoken to someone like Mr. Cole of the Federal Treasury Board?"

"I hate some of his viewpoints.  He's much too conservative and I'm not sure he can actually work with international leaders that he's pissed off in the past."

"That is a good point."  He considered it.  "Maine's governor?"

"I asked.  She said she's sick.  Otherwise this would be an interview for her VP."

"I could get behind that woman."

"I think a lot could.  Some would complain she was female but she's proven her worth to the state.  It's in the best fiscal shape of any of them."

"It is."  He smiled.  "I will feel out my son to see if he's interested."

"If not, and the expected retirements happen, do you want considered?"

"I have heard that rumor.  Yes.  I think I would like it."

Xander smiled and shook his hand.  "Thank you for your time, Your Honor."

"Thank you, Mr. President.  It is an honor to even be considered."  He shook it and left.  He called his son once he got to the airport.  Then he rescheduled his flight and went to talk to the two that might be retiring.  That way he knew his choices.

***

Xander smiled as he walked into the governor's office in Maine.  "I'm a hallucination," he told the assistant.  "She busy?"

"No, sir," he said weakly.

Xander smiled and walked in there, kicking the door shut.

"Treat the people's property easier, sir," she said, looking at him.  "Oh, it's you.  I expected the Colonel."

"He's presently putting down some egos in Congress."  He stared at her.  "We all agreed that we'd support you."

"I'm still going through treatment."

"Will you be going through treatment in a year?"

"I hope I live that long."

He nodded.  "I'm sure you will.  You're too tough to die of something like that."

"Possibly," she admitted, smiling at him.  "You're very pushy."

"I only want the best to take my seat.  I know how much it can drive you nuts.  I know how much the other world leaders act like kids."

"Yes, I have seen their public fits."

"I get called at two in the morning by them to throw one."

She snickered.  "I'd hang up."

"I have told a few they interrupted my evening with my husband.  They huffed and called back during normal business hours."

"That would make me do so as well, sir.  You're very pushy for not being a politician."

"As opposed to letting the cocksucker that comes from Montana do it?  And that says something coming from me."

"True.  He is."

Xander nodded.  "He does it more than I do but for worse reasons."  She cackled at that.  He grinned.  "You sure?  We would be behind you.  You're a good choice."

"If I wasn't sick, I might take you up on it."

"Then give me a good suggestion?"

"Cole?"

"No.  A *good* suggestion."

She snickered.  "Maytrix.  He's a former politician.  Gave up after a few terms because of the same virus you complain about.  He's a bit conservative but he did put out a lot of 'leave him alone, he's earned the right to be happy' articles.  He can work the press because he temps as one of their political commentators.  He's actually a Doctor of Economics."

"State?"

"He's in St. Louis."

"For mine or Evan's job?"

She considered it.  "Evan's first but I can't think of anyone for the prime one.  If he'd leave being independent, I'd say Cultridge.  He's out of Oregon."

"I considered him.  He has a few annoying things, like not believing Atlantis needs to go home."

"True, but he's a good man.  He's definitely not a politician with the way he rants at his state House."

"True."  He nodded.   "I can talk to them."  She smirked.  "Are either considering running?"

"Not yet."

"Well, maybe we can change that.  Is Maytrix a donkey or an elephant?"

"He's technically a republican but one of the milder ones.  Even the Log Cabin republicans like him."

"That's a really good thing.  They hate me."  She grinned.  "You're absolutely sure?"

"If I wasn't sick I'd agree."

"Thank you."  He shook her hand and left, going to the vacation they were doing locally.  Evan had joined them and agreed with her choices after looking them up.

Ezra smiled.  "Cultridge will be in DC for the governor's meeting next week.  Maytrix can quietly sneak into DC for a meeting."

"We can do that then."  He called Chuck to have him set it up.  Everyone was guessing about why they were in Maine.  No one had fully gotten it right.

***

Xander smiled at the man who stomped into his office.  "Thank you for coming, Governor."

"That was a heavy handed invitation.  Is there a problem in my state, sir?"

"No.  I wanted to talk to you about my seat, not yours."

The man paused and gaped.  "Yours?"

"Yes, mine."

"Me?" he demanded in a squeaky voice.

"With former Representative Maytrix or a few others that are decent human beings?  I'll give you all the research I've done over the current meetings."

The governor of Oregon blinked a few times.  "You want *me* to be president?"

"You have a good hand with running things.  You can deal with politicians, professional and childish.  You can deal with other state leaders.  You're a bit more conservative than we are but not all the way.  A lot of groups that aren't the mainstream like you.  You actually listen to concerns of your people.  You've had good ideas.  You have a lot of good things going on in your state."

"What about Maine's?"

"She suggested you because she's sick."

"Oh," he said weakly.  "Maytrix?"  He handed over the folders of the ones he had liked.  "Huh.  That's one loud guy from Louisiana."

"Who is former military and knows about protecting people."

"I'm not doubting that."  He read it over and nodded slowly.  "I can ask my wife if she wants that sort of stress."

"Please do.  Because the current people running?  I'd rather shoot than give up my seat to them."

"I can agree with that.  I wouldn't hand my state to any of them.  You're certain you want me?"

"I had that same hesitation and thought of jumping off somewhere very high to get out of it."

"I'm not doubting it."  He smiled.  "Thank you, sir.  I'll give you my answer by tomorrow night?"

"Please."

"Would both of you be behind me?"

"Probably."

"Huh."  He grinned as he walked out.  He got into the car, letting his driver take him back to the meeting while he called his wife.  "Dear, you'll never believe why the president called me to the white house.  No, he wants me to run.  Yes, for that office!"  He smiled.  "I told him I'd tell him by tomorrow.  Of course I wouldn't make that decision without you.  You are my wife."  He hung up when she got happy, thinking about it.  Him as president.  It had a nice ring to it.  He did act well around world leaders.  He didn't put up with stupidity.  He could understand most of what the last few presidents had done and why, and agreed with most of it.  So...maybe?

***

"Mr. President," one of the reporters called, spotting him playing with the dogs.  "What about a hunter taking office?  I know you didn't consider any of them and there's a proclaimed God of Hunting out there right now."

Xander looked up from his stress relieving game of fetch.  "Who?"

"A hunter who's very good.  Do you think they'd take the nomination?"

"I think they'd run very fast since they try not to get any attention.  Why?" he asked carefully.  "You don't like the guy we like?"

"We do but we're not sure he's very protective and a lot of us still worry about that.  Someone like a hunter might be good for the US, right?"

"Maybe," he admitted.  "Which one were you thinking about?"

"Well, there is Dean Winchester."

"Oh, God, I can just imagine the fit he'd throw if you tried to get him nominated," he moaned, squeezing his nose bridge to stop the headache.  The dogs barked at him so he petted them.  "Dean would shoot people."

"What about his brother?"

"Sam is married to Dawn.  She might not like that."

"Well, it's said he went to college."

"Yeah, he almost graduated pre-law at Stanford when his girlfriend got killed by the demon that had been after his family.  They'd still fuss and yell."

"Which would you rather see?"

"I think our choice will do just fine protecting people and his VP candidates are going to be someone who can fill in any gaps he might have."

"But can he protect us?"

"Yes.  I'll even let him keep Jon O'Neill to help him."

She smiled.  "Thank you, sir, and they're growing into very fine dogs."  She bounced off.

Xander called Dawn.  "Did you know there's people who want Dean to run for president?"  He hung up on the swearing Sam was doing with a wince.

***

Dean looked out of the office when Sam started to swear.  "What did you bang on the table this time, Sammy?" he joked.

He glared at him.  "Someone wants you for president, Dean."

"Um...."  His brain shut down.

"That would be bad for hunting," Clarissa, also formerly known as John Winchester, said.  "How would we hunt with him getting that much attention?"

"He's the better choice anyway.  I have a GED, he actually went to college," Dean said, sounding weak.  "I think I'm going to have a stroke now, Sammy.  Who told you that?"

"Xander."

"Oh, damn," he muttered.  "Connor, can you kill me now please?" he yelled, walking off to find him.

"You woke me up, of course I can," Connor complained as he came down the stairs.  "Why else do I need to kill you?"

"They want him for president," Sam said with an evil smirk.

"If this is a prank it's gone too far already," Gunn warned.

"Xander called, you can call him and check."

Dawn snatched her phone to call him.  "Who, exactly, suggested Dean for President?"  She listened, going pale.  "Excuse me?" she demanded.

"Yeah, I'll kill you," Connor assured him.  "Before the election even, Dean."

"Thanks, man.  You're a real friend."

"Tell Xander I need self-defense lessons," Clarissa called.

"He said go to Cleveland and take them with the slayers when you're old enough," Dawn shot back.  She listened.  "Can we avoid it?" she asked hopefully.   "Yeah, we can start pointing out how bad hunting is and what happened in St. Louis, all that."  She hung up and called the local reporter she knew with the LA Times.  "It's Dawn Winchester.  No, slight issues.

"People are starting to want Dean, my brother-in-law, to be president.  Yeah, the one who hit on you while he was drunk and thought you were a girl.  Can we nip this quickly in the butt so it can't happen?  I mean, there's all sorts of reasons.  Like funding the hunting using credit card fraud and having a demon take his identity and killing people.....  Please?"  She beamed at Dean.  "Thanks!"  She hung up.  "He'll publish articles about how bad of a choice you'd be, Dean."

"Thank you, Goddess," Dean called.

"Let's hope that bad idea is stopped permanently," Sam agreed.  He relaxed.  "Clarissa, you're not old enough yet.  You got us at fourteen.  You can do the same."  He pulled Dawn down to cuddle.  He needed that horrible thought taken out of his head.  The others walked off at the first kiss, groaning for whole new reasons.

***

The night of the election, Xander was watching.  His wanted one was ahead.  There had been a battle though and something was probably going to change.  He watched as the reporters gleefully went on about the O'Neilling trend that had happened in the last three presidencies.  "Oh, please spare Dean, Goddess of Mercy," Xander murmured.

Evan and Ezra walked in with Chris, Vin, and the others.  They gathered around to watch the results come in.  "Sam?" Evan demanded.

"He's Stanford educated, has a wife and kids, and is morally uptight," Xander complained, getting that sinking feeling.  It was *real* close.  He called Sam.  "Did you eat steak tonight?" he asked.  "I'm so sorry, Sam.  Yeah, you should be watching tv."  He hung up.  "He and Dawn both had steaks out at a good place while Dean heathen sits."

"Those poor schmucks," Buck muttered.  The east coast was done first of course.  It was forty-nine to fifty-one percent.  The other contender wasn't even on the map.  The midwest states started to report.  It switched to the guy from Oregon in the lead.  The reporters weren't calling it, it was too close to call.

They got to the Mountain time zone and it switched back, then back again.  The guy from Oregon was ahead by two percent.  But the big states were still to come.  Both people were shown.  Some reporter had found Sam and Dawn out eating.  They didn't look pleased.  The other guy was having a great party and a good time.  California polls were still open for a few hours.  Xander called his guy.  "Did you watch the news yet?"  He saw the guy look at the newscast at his party and winced.

"I have no clue, man.  It's too close to call.  California isn't closed yet.  Hawaii and Alaska aren't closed yet."  He hung up and watched.  He, of course, won his home state.  It came down to California was too close to call without a recount.  Hawaii and Alaska both went to Sam though.  Unless the guy from Oregon won California, he was out.  Sam was going to destroy a lot of people for voting him into office with, ironically enough, the guy from Oregon as his VP.

"Aw, shit," Evan muttered.  "But hey, maybe next election.  VP isn't so bad."

"No, it's not," Xander agreed.  "But Sam's going to destroy LA."

"Buffy helped the 'put a hunter in office' push," Vin said quietly.

"I'm not telling Dawn her sister sent her up the river.  I'm not that fast; I can't escape her."

The reporters were going nuts over the recount in California.  It was literally down to that state's votes.  Fortunately it was all electronic so it'd be a faster recount.  "Absentee ballots counted?" he asked Ezra.

"Hopefully first with the military ones."

"Sam's going to kill us," Xander sighed a few hours later when it became official.  Their guy was now VP.  His 'this wasn't either speech I was prepared to give tonight' speech was good for being on the fly.  Sam couldn't be found to comment.  Dawn had taken them both somewhere secluded so he could scream, rant, and possibly commit suicide.  Xander looked at Ezra, giving him a kiss.  "Got a mover you like?"

"I have two or three I like.  I'll contact my favorite tomorrow and the people to move our horses.  We do have to ask John what he wants us to do with Blossom and let him know he can sell the farm."

"He'll be here tomorrow."

"Wonderful."  He took another kiss.  "Go to bed.  I'll come work on your shoulders in a moment."  Xander smiled and went up to wait on him.  He looked at the others.  "I say we all hide from Samuel and Dawn tomorrow."

"Buffy can take her sister shopping," Vin quipped.

"Yes, they can."  He stood up.  "I shall see you lot tomorrow, late."  He smirked as he went up to calm his husband down.  It was a favorite game to see which one got to fuss over the other that night.

Chris looked at Vin.  "This means we can start packing too."  Vin beamed and nodded.  They all went back to their homes to start the packing process.  They had a few months but it'd be easier to ship it all ahead.

***

Dawn flashed into the white house the next day, glaring at Chuck.  "How dare they!"

"You guys make them feel safe," he admitted quietly.  He wasn't going to admit who he voted for.  "At least they gave him a Vice President that could handle things."

"Yay!  This means I have to shop!  I haven't shopped like a Summers woman in *years*!"

"Your sister can take you."

"Eww!  No thanks.  Much too old lady for me."  He grinned.  "Is Ezra here?"

"He's in his office, Dawn," Buck said as he walked behind her.  "I know it seems bad but give it four years and then disappear."

"I hope so!"  She went to find Ezra.  He always shopped nicely and since they hadn't stopped the campaign to get them elected, he could suffer for it.  He huffed when he saw her but she gave him an evil smirk.  "Then you should've stopped them."

"We didn't hear a thing about it, Dawn."

"Yay!"

"Samuel will need to get a few suits and a tuxedo.  Something fashionable."

"Giles is already groaning."

"I have a few people you can talk to about that.  LA does have a lot of very nice couture shops."

"Yes but they'd expect me to be like Buffy.  I'm a Winchester now, not a Summers."  He smirked and took her to his favorite ones, which had shops in LA as well.  Though Dawn did quip that Sam was still swearing in Latin.  That way if the kids wanted to know what he said, they could get some translating work in.  It amused the shopkeepers a lot.

***

Xander smiled at the board in front of him.  "Atlantis, you have a go," he said calmly.  "Remember, I'm coming up there soon to hide from Dawn and Sam's wrath."

"I'm sure you will," John joked, sounding happy.  "Atlantis is off.  See you later, Earth."  He lifted the city out of the ocean and took her off.  The people watching from the Bay's rim cheered them and held a party for their special city going back to her habitat and fight.  Even the ones who didn't think it was necessary enjoyed the party.

Xander handed over the headphones with a smile.  "Thank you, Walter.  We'll be hiding in Denver later today."  He winked and got beamed back to DC.  He put on his suit and tie, letting Ezra walk him out to the viewer stands for Sam's swearing in.  As of that morning he had switched to looking up swear words in other languages so he quit repeating himself.  Dawn looked graceful and thin, but Xander realized that she was a bit heavy about the middle.  He leaned closer to Ezra.  "Either she's hit the stress ho-hos or we're going to have a baby born soon," he whispered.

Ezra smiled.  "I believe it's the second cause when she was trying to calm him down."  They clapped as Sam walked up to take his oath, earning a dirty look from Sam.  Dawn sat next to them, taking their hands to hold while he took his oath.  Then they walked inside and Xander got to disappear with Ezra.  His dogs were waiting with Vin back at their place.  The horses were in the barn.  John had managed to sell the farm in late December.  So it was all good and they were back where they belonged.  With peace, quiet, and Xander's hidden weapons collection being debated.

The End.

Table of Contents

Book 1. 2

The Apparent Heir. 2

The Last Man standing. 8

Situation: FUBAR.. 32

The New World of Awareness. 45

The Curse of Steak. 60

Unhappy, Bouncy Information Spikes. 83

Vacation Playtimes. 99

Precursor To An Election Night Drama. 120

Book 2. 130

Listening Is Half the Battle. 130

A Normal Life?. 151

Pets, Presents, Same Thing. 168

Working on The Moves. 188

It's All Starting Again. 207

Earth to Atlantis. 228

Dramas of Being in DC. 247

The Beginning of the End. 267

Book 3. 276

NO!  Save Me! 276

The Day of Swearing. 289

Mamma Drama. 300

Wedding Bells. 325

Wedding Details. 337

Press Attention. 351

Wedded Bliss. 373

Revelations. 393

Reasons for Yelling Virus Carriers To Yell. 426

Time For A Hand-Over. 449