Contents

Ye Olde Sunnydale Issues

A Warm and Happy Home

A Bit of Traveling...

Is Good For A Boy.

That's How Life Goes.

Settling In.

Trainees.

The Issues of Being Ray

Poker Buddies.

Flies Meet Ointment.

A Slut Hidden.

Bored!!

Road Trip!

Mental Places That Make You Go Odd.

Hello Hell-A

The Information Highway

A Long, Good Day.

Sacred.

Another Miami GHS Day.

A Treat.

Boys, Thugs, and Presents.

Ye Olde Sunnydale Issues

Don came home the day after Christmas to find the house's door open.  "Xander?" he called.  He didn't hear anything, not even the ferrets were moving.  He grabbed his gun and walked inside. "Spot?"  He heard a whimper and headed that way.  No ferrets in the cage.  His dog was locked in a closet and bleeding.  He called Danny.  "I'm at home.  Someone broke in, Spot's hurt.  No ferrets.  No Xander. Now!"  He hung up and got down to help his poor dog and his broken legs.  "Shh, I've got you, Spot.  It's all right."  Danny came running in. "Check the house?"  Danny did, coming back shaking his head.  "Get him to the vets."

"You sure?"

"I am.  I'm the real cop here," he reminded him at the look.  "Now."

"Sure.  Come on, boy," he soothed, picking him up and taking him out to the hummer, calling it in.

Don looked at the cage.  It was closed.  If Xander had taken them out, their bottom door would've been open so they could get into a litterbox.  He carefully searched the house making sucking noises.  Beauty came out of hiding, making him smile.  "Hey, baby.  George!"  He heard a quiet squeak and found him in the bedroom, cut as well.  "Damn it, who in the hell hurt you two!"  He heard footsteps.  "Freeze!"

"Miami-Dade PD, sir?"  Don came out with the ferret holding a cloth to the injury, the other one in his pocket.  "Is he all right?"

"No, and I found my dog with both front legs broken.  He's on his way to the vets with Detective Messer.  Our other roommate is gone.  Hold on, let me check the basement.  I doubt Danny did.  Stay here.  Wait on CSI.  I'm sure another one will be here within minutes."  They nodded and went to look around.  Don glanced in the bedroom.  Something was out of place but he wasn't sure what yet.  He headed down there, finding blood in the water.  He checked the rooms.  Nothing.  He came back up and found Eric.  "Eric, if Xander had let them out, the bottom door would've been open."  Danny walked in. "Spot?"

"He'll be fine. I came to help."  Danny handed him the ferrets.  "I can do more than the animals."

"Just..."

"Going," he agreed, seeing the look in his eyes.  He saw the open basement door.  "Anything?"

"Blood in the water."  Eric looked at him and he shrugged. "Not like I can tell.  Some bastard cut one of the ferrets and broke Spot's front legs.  He was bleeding in the closet."

"Sure," Eric agreed.  "Take the ferret and then come back if you can, Danny."

"All right but I get to help."

"Speed is on his way, so is Ryan," Eric promised.  Danny nodded.  "Don, sit against the glass door for now.  Anything else you've noticed?"

"Something's been moved or is missing in the bedroom but I'm not sure what.  Maybe Ryan can tell since he helped him do the closets last time?"

"I've already told him, he's on his way too, he just had to pick up some hardware."  Don nodded, curling up with his knees on his chin.  "They'll be fine."

"What sort of bastard hurts the animals?"  Calleigh walked in.  "There's something wrong in the bedroom.  I didn't look too hard in the others or the study.  There's blood in the pool."

"On the bedroom," she agreed, heading that way.  She came out. "Don, where's the statue your mother gave you?"  He shrugged.  "Where is it usually?"

"My dresser in my room?"

"Okay.  Last time I saw it was in the other one."  She went to look, not finding it in there either.  She found more blood.  She got down to test it, frowning.  "Animal.  Probably the dog's then."  She checked the rest of the room.  This must be Don's stuff originally since it didn't match anything in the other bedrooms.  She found a few hairs that probably shouldn't be in there and bagged them then went to the main bedroom.  Nothing in there either.  Only the missing statue and some blood in a space only a ferret could get into.  She took samples anyway.  She heard a heated voice and leaned out.  "Boys, he lives here and is one of us.  Let him in!" she ordered.  They let Danny in.  "Come see if you can spot what's missing."  Danny walked in, staying next to the doorway.  "I found blood in this hiding spot," she offered, pointing at the open hinge on the bedframe.

"He had some hidden account stuff in there," Danny told her.  "Are the keys in there?"  She shook her head.  "Okay.  George can't get in there by himself."  He looked around.  "The bag's missing?"  She pointed at it.  "It was moved then.  Maybe Xander did I'm not sure.  The statue's off Don's dresser and mine's bare of the jewelry box."  He looked around again then sighed and shook his head. "There's....  The briefcase he uses when he's got to take a load of crap off to get rid of it."

"Okay.  What does it look like?"

"Black samsonite, it's in my trunk," Ryan said as he leaned in, already gloved. "We took most of his hair sticks to be looked over.  The gold leafing on them was coming off."   He looked around again, nodding at Don's dresser.  "That wooden statue.  Danny's jewelry box.  Are all his clothes in there?"  She opened the door and he carefully walked in, watching where he was walking.  "He must've just done laundry.  I only see a few things missing."  He walked over to look in the trunk.  "And one pair of leather pants."  He looked up again.  "Okay, we've got three shirts, his red print one, the spiderweb one, and his blue pocket t-shirt, the lighter one.  Plus his light leather blue pants are missing.  I can see his boots so it's not that."  He scanned again.  "Were his sneakers in the living room?"

"I made him put them up last night," Danny admitted quietly.

"Okay, so his sneakers," Calleigh agreed.  "The dirty white ones, right?"  They both nodded. "Anything else obviously wrong, Ryan?"  He pointed at the wall.  "What?"  He pulled her next to him and pointed.  "That looks like liquid soaked in.  Danny, hand me my lights?"  He handed that case over and she flashed it up there.  "What is that?"

"That's Strife's mark but backwards," he said quietly.  "With an extra dot."  He walked out, heading to get into the library bag.  He came up with the bag he needed and then the book he needed, flipping through it.  He looked around before sitting down.  "Calleigh, we're missing weapons," he called.  She came in.  "My usual practice sword, Eric's sword, Danny's sword are all out of the case.  Xander's katana isn't in the case and it should be."  She nodded, coming to get that while Danny processed the bedroom and got pictures of that design.  He found the mark and looked it over. "It would have to be in one of the books written in Ancient Greek."  He stood up and looked around again.  "There it is again," he offered, pointing at it. She shined a light and nodded.  "Two dots this time."  He looked.  "Same figure."  He walked out and looked at Eric. "Who do we know that can read Ancient Greek?"

"Adam.  I'll call him."  He called.  "Ray, me.  I need your boy.  Marks from a book in Ancient Greek.  Xander's gone.  Someone hurt the animals.  Please.  They're at the vets. Thanks."  He hung up.  "He'll be right over.  Kowalski and possibly his boyfriend are coming.  Let them in too," he called.  That got a nod.  He went back to lifting the fingerprint.  All he could think of was 'Horatio never made it to work today'.  He called Speed. "Tell me you're within line of sight of the boss?" he demanded. "Yes it's damn important, Speed.  I don't know, why would anyone want to hurt Spot and George and where is Xander?"  He sighed in relief.  "Adam's coming to translate the book with the mark that was drawn on the walls."

"In napalm," Calleigh called.

"She said it's drawn in napalm."  He listened. "Don's here, I've called Adam in to translate.  Ray said he'd go wait on the animals.  I have no idea.  I'm finding fingerprints.  No, not Xander's.  I've got a reference on him.  Thanks."  He hung up and looked at it under a glass. "This one's not Xander's either."   Ryan came back.  "Have you cleaned the cages?"

"Twice."  He looked at it then shook his head. "That's not mine, I don't think so anyway.  We can check.  Give me a sample collection kit so I can do the pool?"  It was handed over along with a human/animal test pad.  He nodded and went down there to do that.

Adam walked in.  "I need to see the original," he said from the entryway.  "May I?"

Calleigh came out.  "This way."  He nodded and let her walk him into the practice area.  "There," she said, pointing, letting him see through her diffuser shield.

He looked at it then around.  "The three missing, they're .... that's not right.  Xander's as much one as the others."  He looked again then sighed.  "Was it done in lighter fluid or something?"

"Napalm."

"Pretty fire to give to their God.  Ares!"  He walked outside when he flashed in, holding up the book.  "Xander's missing.  Can you tell where?"

"He's in the city.  I'm blocked. They're in their holy spot."

"Charming.  You're sure they're in the city?"  Ares gave him a look.  "Can you tell which direction from here?"  He pointed.  "That narrows it down.  Within distance?"

"Ten miles."

"That works.  Thank you.  By the way there was blood in the pool and they harmed two of the three animals."

"Plus took out the protectors," he agreed quietly.  "Help them.  They know about the others."  He disappeared.   He sent Strife since he was closer to the boy.

Strife appeared and growled. "Mother fuckers," he said bitterly.  He looked at Methos.  "You get my boy back or we're gonna have words, Methos."

"I'm trying.  Can you narrow it down?"

He concentrated then shuddered. "Eight miles.  Holy ground turned and changed over."  Methos nodded at that, making notes.  "They're going to sacrifice him tonight.  He's strong and powerful in the arts.  They'll do it again and again and again until he quits healing or she's strong enough."

"Thank you."

"One thing," he said firmly.  "They've got three days here then they go back there."  He faded out.  "I'll be around."

"Thank you."  He headed back inside, going to Eric's side this time.  "This is what we know."  He pointed. "Within ten miles that way.  It was holy ground, it's been changed over now.  Resanctified.  Doesn't mean that they know it however. He'll be a sacrifice of power.  The removal of the three swords are symbolically removing his protectors.  Yours, Danny's, and Ryan's.  Xander's was put off to the side as a symbol of his sacrifice status.  They'd come back to light those on fire later after the first kill," he finished quietly. "It's not their first time through this.  They're appeasing an ancient and dark Goddess.  Three days here then they'll move him back to Sunnydale and in that time they'll start tonight at dark and move on until he no longer comes back."

Eric nodded at that.  "Okay.  Anything else?"

"That's all we have, including them."

"Agreed.  Thank you."  Adam handed over his notes.  "Wolfe, go run this," he ordered, holding it up.  "Take Adam in case you need the reference again.  Here, take these as well," he ordered, handing over the fingerprints he had.  "Danny?"

"Coming.  Blood from the pool isn't just blood.  More gasoline in it.  Blood from beside the pool was animal."

"We're not missing any, right?" Ryan asked.

"Not that I'm aware of but I haven't dredged the pool yet either.  They could've brought their own.  Goats you think?"

"Small animals," Adam told him. "They got the dog because he attacked.  They got the ferret because they're over smaller animals."  That got a nod.  "Use a net.  You'll probably find it."

"Later.  This first.  Let me help with prints."  He grabbed some of Eric's things and went to do that.  He had found a whole new level of high on his shit list.  He started with Xander's katana. No prints.  Their three were in the closet.  "Why not Don's?" he muttered.   He got a strong feeling and went to look. "Don!  Someone find Flack, they're after him too!"  The officers went running to do that.  He carefully moved the blade with the blood on it, taking the swab and test pad from Calleigh.  It was human.  He looked up at her, tipping it so she could see.  She nodded and bagged it, taking it in to test it immediately.  She didn't care who had to stay over this time.  She nodded at Horatio.

"Any news?"

"Not good," she offered. "This is human blood.  There's animal blood in the pool.  Ask Eric, Adam told him what he knew."  That got a nod and she hitched a ride in a cruiser.  She walked in and found both DNA techs at the elevators.  "No way in hell, ladies.  Xander and possibly Don Flack are now both missing."  Valera took the sword and they both went back there.  She went to help Ryan with what he had.  "Anything?"

"Blood in the water was part gasoline, part rat.  Lots and lots of rat.  The mark can't be found online when I scanned it in to search.  We're doing a search for the group's name before then.  Any word from the vet's?"

"Not yet but Ray's there.  Did you guys see where Don went?"

"Last I knew he was against the glass doors," Ryan said, looking at her.  "Why?"

Methos moaned.  "The second sacrifice.  They're further ahead than I thought."  He started a new search.  "They'll make the light kill the dark.  Xander by his very nature and where he was born is considered dark to them."

"The power of Sunnydale strikes again?"

"Yes, but they're not trying to appease their Goddess, they're trying to raise her if they're this far along.  They can only do this part every few centuries; it takes at least eight victims to raise her by their methodology," he said.  He thought back.  "Last time they tried this that I personally saw was a massacre.  It was back during Roman times."  He did the math and sighed.  "It's the correct year."

"For?" Calleigh asked.

"To bring back their Goddess.  It's a holy year.  I thought them all gone when they didn't pop up anywhere last millennium."

"How old are you?" she hissed.

"Five thousand or so," he replied, looking right at her. "I'm also known as Methos, the fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse."  She shivered.  "Also known as Death.  This cult was started by one of my fellows.  A totally ruthless bastard but Macleod stopped him."  He looked back when the computer pinged. "That's them."

"Can we get a site ID?" Ryan asked, looking over it.  Nothing.  He read it slower this time, then growled.  "They're heading back to Sunnydale now that they've got Don."

"It's possible.  She can only be born from the darkness."

"I'll get onto the planes and other transportation," she promised, pulling out her phone to call dispatch and warn them they had two missing. Then she tried Don's phone.  His had caller ID so anyone with it would know it was her and not answer it if it was at home.  No answer.  She walked over to DNA.  "Anything?"

"It's spinning," Valera told her.  "Calm down."

"They could be leaving the area."

"Cheery," Natalia told her.  "Do we know why?"

"They want to raise their dark goddess by making Don kill Xander."  She shuddered at that.  "That's Don's sword.  I'm betting it might be Xander's on it."

"Do we have a comparison?"

"Ryan, do we have anything of Xander's to compare?"  He walked in and took off his necklace, handing over the locket, letting her pick out a piece of hair.  "Since when did you wear that?"

"Since about when we got back.  Just in case."  He walked off, putting it back over his head again.  He looked at Methos.  "This is not good."

"This is very not good," he agreed.  "Can I call Jace from in here?" Ryan handed over his phone.  "Thank you."  He found her in the phone book and called.  "I need to speak to Jace.  It is urgent.  Tell her it's Methos."  The phone was handed over within minutes.  "Jace, it's me.  They're back.  They have Don and Xander.  They're either heading for Cleveland, Sunnydale, or near you.  Tell Oz?"  He nodded. "Don's sword had blood and Xander's was separated out."  He slumped and nodded.  "Thank you.  They're trying. So far but they could be moved within the hour.  Thank you."  He hung up and called Oz's number from memory, getting a female.  "Hand the phone to Oz.  I don't care.  Tell him it's his teacher."  He smirked at that scramble when she complained about it.   "Remember Augenta?"  He nodded once at the groan. "They have Don Flack and Xander.  Xander was born there."  He nodded.  "I'm here, I've told Jace.  The only other is Cleveland."  He nodded.  "Dealt with."  He hung up and handed it back, taking out his phone to call someone else.  "Be aware that some loony group has taken two of us, Xander and Don Flack, to sacrifice.  Cleveland.  I've got Sunnydale covered and Jace has her part.  Thank you, Joe."  He hung up and sighed, shaking his head.  "This is not going to end well."

"It's not starting well," Ryan pointed out, typing something in.  "There's a hellmouth in Vegas?"

"There's a point of power and darkness outside the city's limits. It could be done there but it must be done under cover of dark."  He looked at him.  "You've sworn yourself to his service?"

"Freely during my training."

"Good.  Then we may need you to stop it."  Ryan gave him a look.  "That was the best way last time."

"This time we've got tear gas."

"True," he agreed, smiling a bit.  He could like this young one and his version of violent ideas.

"It's not Xander's and she got a hit in CODIS," Calleigh announced, handing it over.

Methos called Oz back.  "Tell me what you know of a young man named Jesse....  How did you know?"  He listened.  "He's been dead for how long?"  He held his head.  "Thank you."  He hung up.  "When was he put in there?"  It was pointed to.  He looked at the picture.  The boy did look like Xander's picture in his wallet.  He had talked about him once.  "The last Oz knew this one was dead.  Has been since he was sixteen," he said quietly, handing it back. "He was Xander's best friend until tenth grade."  They both gaped. "Oz isn't sure.  That does match the picture in Xander's wallet however, and he was turned before then."

"An alternate him?" Ryan asked.  "Xander said something about a wish and Cordy?"  Methos shuddered. "You heard?"

"From Oz.  Yes, that would be one option at this point.  I have no idea how bad it will get."  He looked at her.  "The last time they popped up, back in Roman times, they ended up taking all the sacrifices out to stop them."

"I pointed out we have tear gas now," Ryan offered.  He calmed himself down and got back to work.  "That's all I can do," he admitted, handing over the printout.  "Tell Horatio if they're going, I'm going."

"Sure."  She went to do that, getting the reports from fingerprints and AV since Cooper was still here.  "Did you get film from Xander's house?"

"I did, it's very nasty," he offered, playing it for her.  "He's just *standing* there," he said, pointing.  "I don't know why. They stab him and Xander flinches.  They laugh, the injured guy spreads his own blood on the sword, and then they walk out together, him making pretty designs on Xander's body where they took the shirt off him."  Someone walked in and he looked.  "New tech?"

"Technical support of the library sort," he admitted.  "Replay that please?"  It was replayed.  "Can you get their robes?  There should be symbols on them."

"He's got a crappy camera system.  I can try."  He zoomed in and found some.  "Can you make it out?"

"Same as on the walls?" Calleigh guessed.

"No.  Not quite."  He flipped through the book, finding it.  "This one.  Not good," he said, walking out and heading back to Ryan.  "Have you noticed more than one of yourself today?"

"No, should I have?"

"Possibly."  He let him see the book, murmuring quietly in his ear.

"Then let me get my shit and let's go," he said firmly, looking at him.

"They're from there, that doesn't mean they're going back there.  If so, it would have to be on that end. Though, how that one's blood was here....  Unless he had passed over and no one noticed.  Which is reasonable in Sunnydale."  He considered it and sent a prayer to confirm his thoughts.  "Theirs is gone.  Unsuitable.  So they came for one that was more suitable and found both together."

"Then we can go," Ryan reminded him.  "Not like the Sunnydale PD is going to stop them."

"Sunnydale's PD doesn't come out after dark," he pointed out grimly.  He closed the book.  "We'll need to."

Eric leaned in. "Strife just said they're moving them."

"I've alerted all forms of transportation," she offered.  "Do we think it's going to be necessary?"

"Yeah, they're going to try to kill them over and over again and make Don do it or else he'll take his spot and they'll drug Xander into doing it," Ryan told her.  He ran a hand through his hair.  "I need stuff from home.  I was out by the stables when the call came.  Calleigh?"

"Go," she agreed.  He nodded and headed out with Adam right behind him.  She watched them go, saying a prayer to her own deity of choice that this wasn't going to happen.  She texted a thought to Ryan.  Didn't New York have one of those 'dark' areas?

***

Ryan came out of the apartment with his sword and a backpack of supplies.  "Okay."  He slid in and looked at his phone, smiling.  "Could they be going to New York?"

"No.  That one's not dark enough.  This would turn it that dark but no."  He headed for the airport, making reservations while he drove.  "Damn it."

"Locked down?"

"The whole airport," he agreed.

"Can they move him magically?"

"I don't know."

"Yup," came from the backseat.  "At least Xan they can.  Flack they can't but they can't touch him either," Strife said, leaning forward.  "Flack's at the private terminals.  B-2 I think.  Can't tell, messy building.  Xan's already back there.  I popped in on Oz and scared his present girl's little mind out of her head.  They're going to start tonight, no matter what.  They've got another candidate for the light."  Methos growled.  "Get there.  Get there faster."

Ryan looked at him.  "Can we move us through the realms or anything?"

Strife looked at him. "I can't.  Hera could."

"Hera might," he reminded him.

"She might.  Let me ask."   He disappeared and the car quit running.  He landed in front of Hera, nodding at her husband.  "The other anchor's in trouble.  The cross-dressing god's people have him.  They're already in Sunnydale.  They've got someone from the light who'll kill him.  Can we move Ares' warrior and Methos there?  Through the realms or any way?"

She considered it.  "It'll be one nasty trip through Tartarus."

"Ryan said he'd go ta Hell for Xan before," he pointed out.

"Let me get Hades."  She called him and he appeared.  "The secondary anchor's in trouble.  That Architect one's people."

"Agreed.  Who's coming down?"

"Methos and Ares' warrior."

"Agreed," Hades told him.  "I liked Ryan and Methos knows me.  I'll guide them when I can."

"I stopped their car.  They're in Miami together in an SUV."

"Going.  Thank you, Strife."

"I'm heading there ta help.  We've got people from another universe doing this."  He disappeared.

Hades appeared in the back seat.  "We can take you through Tartarus.  It won't be pretty."

"Won't be the first time either of us has seen unpretty things," Ryan reminded him firmly.  "How long?"

"Thirty minutes local time.  Maybe a year mine."  He snapped his fingers and they were there.  They got out and Ryan made sure he had his backpack.  "Head to the river and up it.  Take the third branch of the Lethe.  It leads there."  They nodded and headed off, hiking.  He sent guards with them so they wouldn't be bothered. He sent a thought to Ares, who sent one to Jace to get her moving too. They would need more than those two to stop this.  No matter what weapons they had.

***

Xander woke up dazed and confused, in pain.  He looked at the face beside him. "Jesse?" he whispered. "How?  You were turned!"

"Only here.  In my world I was taken in when you were killed," he said, stroking his hair.  "You will come to appreciate your place, Xander.  All of us play our part and we do adore them, no matter how much it hurts."   Xander tried to move so he tightened his chains down.  "Not yet, brother.  It's not time for you yet."  He walked off to tell the highers he was awake and prepared.

Xander sent up a prayer and felt himself start to slip.  He had to get into a deeper mindset.  Being GHS was not going to cure this.  Not this time.  He heard others in chains and groaned.  Other prisoners.  Wonderful.  He felt something cold hit him and flinched when it ripped some skin off.  He kept himself from screaming that time, barely. The next time, there wasn't any way.  The third time, he was overloaded and he felt the slip take hold fully.  He wasn't going to be here when they came to get him.  What they'd face was not what they had expected.

***

Ryan finally found the exit and panted, walking up the hill.  He turned and found Methos right behind him.  "Looks like we're here?"

"We're here. I can smell fresh air."  They walked out and into the blinding sun.  He sniffed.  "We're within range of civilization. I can smell gasoline."

Ryan checked his phone.  No new messages.  He checked the time.  "It's been an hour so it's three hours to sundown here."  Methos nodded and led the way.  "Sure, you've obviously been here before."  He followed, sipping the last of his water from his pack.  "Find us a convenience store, all right?"

"Of course.  I could use a drink as well."  They walked out of the woods and found the college.  "Wrong side of the town," he admitted.  "Bookstore should still be open however."  They went to do that, getting some energy bars and some drinks to take with them.  He called Oz.  "We're here.  Come get us.  Bookstore.  Campus," he said patiently. "Thank you."  He hung up and they drank and nibbled while they waited.  Oz's van finally pulled up and they got in.  "Have you any idea where they might be?"

"Only dark spot in town is under what used to be the high school."  He looked at the other guy.  "I don't know you."

"Ryan Wolfe."

"Chosen of Ares and one of Xander's protectors."

"He needs them.  That boy is Strife's some days," he said thoughtfully.

"Named so by his father when he was five and equal to Jace as an anchor," Ryan said dryly.  Oz stopped and turned to look at him.  He nodded.  "Yeah."

"Fuck," he said simply, turning around to drive again.  "Hellmouth here we come."  They got there and found it already darker than it was outside.  "Huh."

"We found bloodwork from some kid named Jesse," Ryan said quietly.  "We know there's at least one realm in there."

"Goodie," Oz said flatly.  "Fair warning...."

"So's Xander.  He told me.  Let's go."  He handed Methos his bag.  "Tear gas canisters and a small bit of explosive."  He grabbed his sword and his sidearm, heading inside.

"I take it he's marked and everything?" Oz asked dryly.

"Left shoulder area."  He looked at him.  "We walked up the Lethe."

"Joy.  Then who's the light?"

"Who knows.  In this town?"

"Point."  They headed that way, going to help their friend, and Ryan.  If he lived he'd probably be a friend as well.

***

Horatio looked up when the tired looking being appeared in his office.  "Strife."

"You saved one.  The other's already out there.  They moved him magically.  I've been holding his mind together.  It ain't gonna last long.  But that's okay because Ryan's out there."

"Figures," he agreed.  "What can I do to help?"

"Pray.  Really, really hard."

"To?"

"Anyone.  Ares especially.  He'll need it.  Ryan's bordering on losing it himself.  Oz is one of the other berserkers and Methos rides the line himself now and then.  They touched family and Ryan's going to have to get in the way.  Maybe even be sacrificed instead to save others.  He'll be fine of course."

"Of course.  I will.  Any particular...."  Strife shook his head and disappeared.  "Then I can do that."  He started one of the longer prayers in his life.  Then he called Speed.  "They've already gotten him out of the city.  Call the block off.  Then pray to Ares to help them. Ryan's out there somehow."  He hung up and went back to praying.  Speed would tell the others and he knew most of them would pray too. He sent one to their patron saint as well.  Before Ryan turned his soul away from the lighter things. Then he went back to praying to Ares.

***

Speed hung up and looked at everyone.  "They've managed to get Xander out of the city. Calleigh, call off the block.  However they did it, Ryan followed.  This is a time to pray."

"To who?" Alexx demanded.

Eric looked at her.  "Alexx, Xander's only ability to fight is to lose total control of his mind.  He's a berserker.  He won't know what he's hitting at.  Even Ryan.  Pray hard."  He went to do that.  They had Don and he was in pretty bad shape.  Still in pretty bad shape but Danny had him. He texted Danny, getting an okay back.  Then he got down to praying as hard as he could.  Any deity.  Any single one.  He felt them go with his energy and nodded.  "Take whatever you need."

Inside the others were saying their own while they wrapped up what they could.  This was going to get messy and be one of those things that not everyone would end up knowing about.  Speed left to sit with Horatio and wait on information.  It was all he could do.

***

The handlers came for one of the other chained ones and Xander growled.  "No, you'll take me."

"We need her first," he sneered.  "You'll get your turn."

Xander finished freeing a wrist and turned, abrading the other one on the old, rusted manacles to get free. Then he grabbed that one's head and twisted.  He looked at the other one. "Me first.  You don't get that choice."

"The light must go first!" he shouted.  "Give her to me!"  Xander backhanded him and let her go, dropping her onto the floor.  He heard her 'ow' and knew it was familiar but not why.  Not that it mattered to him at the moment.  He managed to free an ankle before they came back, it was enough to let him get off the table and release the chain on the other one.  He used the freed cuff to hit the ones coming for them.  Two ran away with injuries and the others backed off. "Give her to us, darkness."

"I am not!" he shouted.  "I'm not a creature of darkness.  I never was. I fought on the light for years," he sneered.  "You obviously can't see very well.  Need glasses?"

"Your quippage leaves much to be desired," the female said firmly.  "Can you maybe help me up now?"

"No.  You're safer down there."  He hit the next one coming in with the cuff too, gouging it into his eye.  Then he laughed at that.  "Good.  Now go spill it for your weak Gods."  They rushed him and he got most of them, but one still managed to get her and drag her off while the others tried to hold him. He managed to get free and pulled her back and inside, then he slammed the door.  Not the wisest of things with some of them still in there but it would take them a few minutes to undo it.  He hunted the others down, leading to the altar area.  He sniffed.  "Smells like death.  Needs air freshener.  Maybe you should invest."  He hit the next one.  He felt the cuff come off and kicked it free, then ducked and picked it up as a weapon.  Eventually the give in the line ran out so he had to drop it.

"Xander," someone shouted.  Then they tossed a sword.  He picked it up off the ground and faced his enemies with a pleased snarl.  "Come on.  You wanted to play," the new warrior said.  They lunged and he started to take care of them.  The others ran in to help. He ended up in front of one but they ducked out of the way.  "The others?" someone panted behind him.

"Room.  Locked."  That one headed off.  Xander yelped as something hot got him.  He swung at it, knocking the branding iron from their hands.  Then he knocked their hands off.  Then their head.  He moved on and came to one last one, finding him there.  He knew him.  Deeply.  Something in him was screaming at him that he knew him.  That he couldn't hurt him.  "Move."

"No, Xander.  Not now.  You are ours.  There's enough light here to take you.  We can use them," he said firmly.  "Come here.  Be my sacrifice.  Be my soul giver."  Xander stepped back.  "Come."  Xander took another step back, his eyes narrowing.  He slipped on some blood and fell, knocking his head on the floor.  The voice, the one he knew, screamed something as another body rushed past him, pulling out a sword to fight with him.  "He's mine!  His soul is the darkness we need!  You'll die in his place and then he'll still die!"

"I'm really hard to kill," Ryan promised, going after him.  This kid was just as formally trained as he was but he had learned how to fight dirty from Adam.  He whistled and a canister of tear gas was set off.  The other hostages were led off by Oz while Methos dealt with any others who might come in to interrupt.  Ryan got the choking, normal person down and stood on his chest.  "Told you so."

"NO!" Xander shouted.

"Stay!" Ryan shouted back.  "He's the bad one.  He's the one trying to kill you, Xander."

"I know him!"

Ryan looked down and nodded.  He knew who he was too.  "Jesse.  Sorry."  He sliced his head off and backed off, watching the quickening rise up.  "I didn't feel him."

"Baby immies, sometimes you can't," Methos panted, trying to move Xander.  Xander knocked him on his ass.  "You'll pay for that next sparing session, young one."  He stood up and Xander rounded on him.

Ryan finished and turned, jumping between them, looking into Xander's eyes.  Then he kissed him.  Xander dropped his sword with a whimper, clinging to him.  "It's Ryan and Adam," he said quietly.  "The hostages are safe.  Come back, Xander."  Xander growled and lunged so Ryan pinned him and kissed him again, ignoring the pool of blood they were in.  Xander flipped him onto his back, then he yanked on his braid, making him yelp.  "Mine, bitch, answer me."

"Ryan?" he whimpered.

"I am.  Come back.  Now.  Right now," he said firmly.  Xander blinked, his eyes undilating.  His whole body relaxed.  He kissed him again and Xander went limp against him.  "Shh, I have you.  You're safe now."

"Jesse!"  Methos grabbed him before he could move and turned him away.  "No!"

Ryan stood up and grabbed their swords, grimacing at them.  "Eww.  That's going to take forever to clean tonight."

"I killed him?  Didn't I, I killed him again!"

"No," Adam assured him.  "It wasn't your blade that killed him, Xander."  Xander frowned at him.  "Yes, I'm a bit older than I seem."

"You're..."  He tipped his head to the side. "Methos?"

"I am.  Come, we'll leave this here and let their God clean it up."

Xander turned back, not looking at the body.  Then he took his sword back, ignoring the blood.  He walked up and swung at the altar, breaking it after a few blows.  It caved in and the whole temple started to tremble.  "Now we can go."  He looked at Jesse.  "Maybe there's another of you around," he said quietly, heading out with his friends.  They walked out of the wreckage and more of it fell in to cover the collapsing alternate realm.  Xander looked back there but Ryan made him turn around.  "If I didn't, who did?"

"I did.  He was going to kill you," Ryan said quietly.  Xander stared him in the eyes.  "He was."

Xander nodded and rested against his shoulder.  "You had to.  Maybe there's another one."

"I hope so.  Maybe the next one will be Jesse as he was supposed to grow up so you have your friend back," he soothed, stroking over his messy bare back.  "We need a lot of soap," he said a few minutes later, making Xander break and laugh.  "Come on.  Maybe we can borrow Oz's shower."  Xander shook his head.  "No?"

"No.  Oz doesn't have a shower.  He said so."

"I do now, but it's a garden hose from the sink," Oz called.  "Come on, guys."  They walked that way.  "Try not to get any music messy, okay?"  They nodded and got in, heading for his place.  The hostages were free and the vampires wouldn't be out for another hour.  He looked back, finding Xander with his head on Methos' shoulder, looking miserable.  "There's an unlimited number of universes, Xander," he said quietly.  "In one there's another Jesse somewhere."  Xander nodded at that, just taking Ryan's hand to hold.  He pulled into his driveway and parked, letting them head inside.  Only one piece of music got hit and Methos did it on purpose, he hated that song.  Oz hooked up the hose and got the water adjusted, letting them have it.  He was even nice enough to toss out the bottle of dish washing detergent.  They would really need it with the amount of blood on Xander.  He saw the healing spots and winced, looking away before he got sick.  Then he called the PD to make sure they went to get the hostages from the school's courtyard.  It was only humane and they could get them home if they were local, or keep them safe if not. He got them towels, noticing Ryan was cleaning his sword.  "You've only got another ten minutes of hot water.  Do yourself and then the sword."  Ryan gave him a look.  "He'll understand, trust me."  Ares appeared, shaking his head.  "He will or I'll remind him how he used to wear this pink thong now and then when his sister taunted him," he said firmly.

"Fine, clean the swords later," he agreed.  He shuddered.  "She made me."

"I'm sure she did, Ares."  He went back into the house.  "Almost no food but noodles okay?"  They all nodded and he settled in to cook.  Xander wandered in half clean and Oz turned him around, sending him back there.  "No trailing blood and stuff inside."

The water was cold but Methos and Ryan still got Xander cleaned up and stripped down.  Then they got him in to nap on the couch and finish healing.  Then they worked on each other's backs.  Then the swords.  They all needed it.  They ended up wearing towels and Ryan said a sincere prayer of thanks for imbedding those cues into Xander's mind so he could bring him down if he lost it again.  He went to check on him, finding Oz staring at him.  "He having nightmares?"

"I think he's so far down in his head that he's not coming out.  He's thinking."  He got up when the door was pounded on, looking at the officer. "What?"

"What happened?"

"Evil things trying to sacrifice others.  They had Xander, retrieved him from Miami."

"I won't tell the Summers woman he's here.  The others?"

"If they weren't outside, it's slim."  They nodded and headed off.  Oz closed the door and locked it, going back to fussing a bit over them.  They needed it and he wouldn't think for a while longer.

***

Horatio got the text message from the strange phone number, smiling at the content.  He forwarded the message to Speed and relaxed, sending one of thanks.  Then he got up and went to check on his people.  He heard the cheer and smiled.  He knew Speed had slipped out to do something constructive instead of just wait.  He walked into the breakroom.  "He'll be fine.  It'll be a few days before they get home."  He looked at Don and their pets, who were in the corner. "Are they all right?"

"Spot hates his casts," he offered.  "Are we talking fixed in a permanent manner?"

"According to the text message it just said fixed.  You could try to call Ryan if you wanted details."  Danny did that, walking off with it, Eric following.  "I'm sure they're fine."

"I'd hope so," Don agreed, petting the ferret.  He got a sleepy squeak from the other one.  "Yes, I still love you too," he promised, petting her too.  She settled in to nap on her buddy's back and make sure he was all right.  "We're moving.  Soon."

"I'm sure Aiden could find you something," Horatio agreed.  "Until then I'm sure we can make sure you have a few days off, Don.  Danny as well.  Wherever they went."  Danny peeked back in.  "You can have a few days off."

"I might need it.  They're at Oz's for the night.  They're hoping to avoid Buffy's mother then come back through LA.  So it'll be a few days.  With any luck, we'll have the new house set up and moved or in the process of being moved."  Don nodded at that.  "Also, Xander doesn't have his wallet.  So no ID."

"Jace can get them back," Don assured him.  "If not, maybe the bouncy one would take his wallet to him?"

"Maybe," Danny agreed.  "Plus his phone so we could talk to him.  Right now he's laying and staring into space."

"He'll be fine," Horatio reminded him.  "He's a strong man who's been through a lot before now.  He's probably processing.  Also, you might ask Mr. Wolfe. I believe he has one of his emergency cards in his wallet at the moment."  He looked at Speed.  "If you need our help, tell us."

"I will," Don promised.  He looked at Speed.  "Need me to take Xander's place helping you shop?"

"I can do it," he promised quietly.  "I'll be fine."  He smiled at them all.  Things had been too insane before the holidays with the cases they ended up with.  He could get Horatio's present now and he'd love it just as much.  Horatio smiled.  "I'll go tonight.  You guys need a spare room?  We've got one and the furry things would be welcome."  Don smiled and nodded, looking at Danny, who shrugged.  "Good.  Come on, I'll let you guys in."  They went with him, going to rest for the night and let the animals rest as well.

Horatio looked at the others.  "Go home.  They'll be home in a few days."  They nodded and filed out, talking together.  Horatio said another prayer for the strength of his team and got a hug from Alexx.  "Hearing prayers?"

"Only sometimes."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "They'll be fine.  Even if Xander did end up in trouble."

"If he is the system is severely cracked and I'll help him get the best defense attorney out there to help him," he assured her.  "Since he was a victim he shouldn't be in trouble."  He heard a cough and looked back to find a familiar vampire lounging in the doorway, shaking his head.  "Detective Mystick.  He's not?"

"Nope, not on our side.  The other was a cult and were being expelled from their home realm.  The fact that Xander went primal?  Not an issue with us," he promised.  "Don't let them move to Seagrove?  It's a nice, dangerous area for those in the know.  Like the fact that the heathen who was destroying magical stores is back."  He winked and left with a smirk.

"Good to know," Horatio agreed.

"Who was that?"

"That is a member of the Demonic Police department, Alexx," he said honestly, looking at her.  "He's a detective and they've had to rescue Ryan and Xander before."

"That makes so much sense," she sighed, walking off shaking her head.  "Let me know when they're back so I can bake some brownies or something."

"I will."  He walked off smiling.  Two points of noted interest that he would have to keep in mind and more good news.

***

Xander woke up in the morning and stretched, then winced.  "Shouldn't I be healed by now?"

"Probably," Ryan said quietly.  "Then again you did have a few that were down to the bone in spots."

"Spot," he said, sitting up.  "He hurt him and George."

"George got a few stitches in his side.  Spot has two broken legs.  He's limping around Speed's bedroom trying to figure out how to jump up onto the bed according to Danny," he said quietly.  Xander slumped and held his head.  "Xander, think you can eat?"  Xander shook his head.  "You should try."

"I can't."  He looked at him.  "He came after *me*?"

"Their you was dead.  They needed someone who was born in the darkness on a power point."

"Which is me and he knew me, knew my darker side," he said bitterly.

"Yup."  Ryan shifted over to sit next to him.  "There's untold realms and dimensions, Xander.  There's got to be another Jesse somewhere who grew up right."  Xander looked at him.  "Or slightly kinked maybe but still managed to make it to grown up and not in a cult."  Xander nodded, cuddling him.  "Now, we've got to do some minor stuff."

"If Joyce hears I'm here, she's going to come after me with a torch again."

"She won't. She's already tried to storm in and Methos cut her down grandly.  She was sneering that you had her daughter arrested for no reason. She knows better now.  I even got to point out we had her on film doing Danny's car.  She said the lawyer that they had assured her it could be tossed and I pointed out it wasn't going to be because it was from your home security system.  Plus she was a failed ADA.  She was not happy and stomped off. Probably going to talk to your mother."

"I don't want to talk to my mother so maybe it'll give her some comfort."  He looked at him.  "I don't have my wallet.  How are we going to get home?"  Ryan pulled out his and held up the credit card.  "Thank you.  ID?"

"Not likely," he admitted.  "I could pretend you're my prisoner and drag you back in cuffs," he offered with a small grin.  "Or we could get a new copy of your one from here."

"Wouldn't they have canceled it since I don't live here anymore?"

"Actually, maybe not," Ryan admitted.  "I've seen others do it and we can check."  He grinned.  "Now, we need food, you need food and clothes.  Ours were washed and dried already.  You're in skinned and cut leather.  We definitely can't go anywhere in them."  Xander looked down then blushed and looked away.  "Yeah, we figured they were torturing you there too."  He shrugged.  "Not like we haven't seen it before and Oz didn't look."  He leaned forward.  "Let me activate this one?"

"Please.  I can."

"Sure."  He handed him his cellphone and the card so he could call the number to activate it.  He looked toward the kitchen, finding Oz making tea.  "He's up."

"I heard.  I also know he's a grump in the morning.  First period was never his friend."  He walked tea out and handed Xander a cup of coffee. "Instant."

"Thank you, Oz."  He smiled at the voice on the other end.  "You're sure?  No, I'm out of town and lost my other wallet.  A friend carries that one for me.  Thank you.  Yes, starting today.  California.  I'll be home in Miami within a week.  I thought I called and told you guys I moved."  He nodded.  "Yeah, that's us.  Thank you."  He hung up and shrugged.  "Okay."  He handed it back with a wince for the pulling in his back.  "Am I not healing at all?"

"Other, more important, things heal first," Oz assured him, looking at his back.  "That'll be gone within an hour.  Trust me on this.  Had worse."

Xander looked at him.  "How did you end up turning furry?"

"Low quickening.  I take bouts like that.  Took nearly two years to get it out of my system."  He kissed him on the cheek. "It's abnormal.  Not even you could do that."  Xander relaxed at that.  "The same as nothing that bled into you yesterday is something to worry about."

"Oh, Danny said you're moving.  One way or another he's packing up everything and moving all three of you somewhere better.  With less security gaps and better play areas for the ferrets."

Oz looked at him.  "Ferrets?"  Xander grinned and nodded.  Ryan produced pictures.  "Are you two sure you're not together?"

"I'm his backup protector and buddy," Ryan promised.  "That's Xander, Spot, and George and Beauty are the ferrets."

Oz looked and smiled, then handed it back with a head shake. "I envy you sometimes, man, but not with the ferrets or the hormones."

"Gee thanks," he said dryly, sipping his coffee.  "Thank you for helping us, Oz."

"It's what I still do.  Any idea where they sent the wonder twins and Giles?"

"Some realm far away was all that got told to me.  Somewhere they could do their time and straighten out.  No liquor apparently."  He took another drink.  "Buffy was a redhead."

"Wonderful."  He sipped his tea and held it up for Ryan, who shook his head. "Joyce might still be in town but I could probably give you a lift to the Walmart or the better stores if you know what sizes he is."

"The last time I bought for him we were in a realm where elastic hadn't been invented yet," Ryan admitted with a small grin.  "By the way, Horatio said we had to be back within a reasonable amount of time."

"That's great, but flights from LAX and surrounding areas were stopped because there's a hellish storm coming in," Oz told him.

"Literally?" Xander asked.  Oz shrugged.  "Like Santa Anna storm?" he guessed.  Oz nodded.  "Damn. It may take days and then they'd have to honor those tickets first.  Plus, isn't American going to strike soon."

"Yup."  Oz put down his empty cup and made Xander drink more of his coffee.  "You guys could Amtrak to Vegas.  Jace was worried sick.  She couldn't get in, that's how we know about the flights."  Methos came in with a bag.  "Groceries?"

"Of course, Oz.  I know how dreadful you are about forgetting them."  He handed them over and flopped down.  "Amtrak is overcrowded with the flight shutdown as well."  Xander groaned.  "We can definitely get to LA however.  That would be safer, especially for Mrs. Summers should I run into her again."  Oz came back with a pair of boxers, handing them to Xander before going back into the kitchen.  "I couldn't find anything else at the supermarket and nothing else was open."

"No, this is great," Xander assured him, smiling a bit.  "Now I'll look like a grunge rocker instead of a slut."  He went to put them on and take a quick washcloth bath in the bathroom, coming out in the same torn leather pants again.  "Ryan has my emergency card."

"That's even better," Methos agreed happily. "Oz, could you get us to LA?"

"I do need to attend class tonight, Meth."

"Sorry, forgot you're in a college phase."  He looked at the boys again.  "That would be the best bet."

Ryan looked at Xander, then at Methos.  "If he got the gift certificate number, could he use that in LA if we can find the stores?  I know he still had the second Armani one."

"He could," Methos agreed.  "They might even be able to pull it up for him."  Xander relaxed at that.  "Then again I'm not sure where those would be."

"Study.  Bottom drawer of the desk," Xander said quietly.  "Red and black laquer box."  Ryan grinned at that.  "Did you know Aiden's used half her chocolate gift certificate?"

"How do you spend ten grand on chocolate?  Or even five grand in under four months?" Ryan asked, making a face.  "Not even you can eat that much chocolate, Xander."  Oz snickered at that.  "He can't.  The boss can't either."  He called back there.  "It's us. He's awake.  Say hi, Xander."

"Hi, Xander."

Ryan grinned. "Eric said hi back. No, but we will need a few things.  The only one I've got is his emergency card, Eric.  The red and black lacquer box in his bottom desk drawer.  It's got the gift certificates and things.  LA is shut down due to a set of pretty nasty storms coming in and the train's overcrowded according to Adam."  Xander leaned against Methos' arm.  "He's fine.  He's back to cuddling Adam's arm.  Want to talk to anyone?"  Xander shrugged. "He's back into the silently staring thing."  He leaned forward to hand it over.  "Don's coming."

"Hi," he said quietly.  "No, I'm okay.  It's just a bad day.  Yesterday was worse and we're trying to get it better."  He smiled at Don's voice.  "Let me have bouncy boy please?"  He smiled at Eric calling him that and Don snatching the phone.  "Hi, Don.  How are the babies?"  He grinned.  "Good.  No, I'm okay.  A bit torn up and healing.  No, still healing.  We're working on that now."  He smiled and nodded. "I'd like that.  Can we have a pool this time?"  He grinned.  "Thanks, Don.  I don't care if I go bankrupt at the moment, Don.  Find us something.  Thanks, babe.  No, I'm okay.  Tired, sore, a bit upset.  Because it was Jesse.  Remember, I told you about him."  He slumped down some. "I know.  Are you okay?  They were saying something about taking you too."  He relaxed again.  "Good.  One emergency card.  Yeah. Ryan thinks we can get my old California one restarted."  He grinned.  "Thanks, babe.  Of course and pat down Danny's hair.  I'm sure he's been running his hands through it. Love you too."  He hung up and tossed the phone back.  "He'll tell Horatio that we're stuck.  I'm guessing he's probably working through the websites to see when we can get back soonest."

"Probably," Ryan agreed. He stood up.  "How far is town?"

"Two miles that way," Oz offered, pointing.  "Want a ride?"

"Since my horse isn't here," he offered with a smile.  Oz smirked back.  "It got given to me," he defended.  Xander nodded.  "He said you'd understand."

"I kept a horse from the same line for nearly a millennium," Oz offered. "I do understand."  They headed out together then he came to check the tag on Xander's pants.  "Just in case."  He walked out again.  "Medium?"

"Let's hope that translates from leather to other clothes."  That got a smile and they headed off.  "So, did you get a hint of Xander's ability with electronic games?"

"Wish I had really.  Could use the dough.  I took a sinking in the stock market crash of '29."  Ryan shuddered. "That's how I learned to diversify.  I really need to yard sale some stuff though."  He looked at him when they had to pause at a stop light.  "If you have the choice, keep all your present electronics and anything collectible, keep them somewhere safe and rot proof, and then retrieve them in fifty years or so.  Do not put everything into things like furniture."

"I don't have much furniture but I do like movies."

"Good, keep those."  He went on, heading through the quiet town.  "For being evil, it's pretty."

"It is, very pretty."  He took some pictures from his phone.  They'd appreciate those at home.  "Now all they have to do is find Xander somewhere to live."  He called Horatio back.  "Boss, am I going to be in trouble on leave time for the convention?"  He smiled.  "Morning to you too, Horatio.  No, he's just gotten up.  He talked to Don and I talked to Eric.  Just now.  Yeah, we're working on that.  I'm sure it shouldn't be a problem.  Thanks, man.  No, as soon as we can.  With that storm, the American strike being threatened, and the trains being filled with the overflow...."  He smiled.  "That's fine.  No, we're going to try to resurrect a copy of his old ID.  I'm not sure if it will or not.  We'll have to see.  Yeah, that's my plan.  He'd need it for Amtrak too, right?  If not, we'll probably Amtrak to Vegas and fly that way.  Heading to LA later.  I'm getting him clothes.  Because he has one very ripped pair of leather pants and the boxers Adam got him from the grocery store.  His emergency card.  Thanks, boss.  Of course I'm going to guard him.  I plan on making sure he's fine, Horatio.  Of course I'll behave and not let him near the slots if we have to stop in Vegas."  He grinned.  "Thanks, man."  He hung up.  "We're good on leave time.  It was explained to the chief as me being kidnaped with him again. That they almost got Don.  Did you get to meet Don?"

"I stopped in New York.  I trained Danny and know Connor."  Ryan snorted at that name. "I heard.  Trust me I heard both sides, Connor said he was trying to save you guys."

"And I believe it too."

"Yeah, well, he's usually an honorable man.  Maybe Giles infected him somehow.  Anyway, I saw Don a few times and the night he came across.  I also got to threaten Taylor once too."  He parked and looked at him.  "She should be inside and able to help you."

"Thanks, Oz."

"Not an issue.  We miss Xander around here.  No one else plays Twinkie Theater about the new menace of the week."  Ryan laughed as he slid out.  "He thinks I'm kidding?" he mumbled, leaning back.  He sneezed.  "Hmm, cops."  He rolled down the window when one walked up to him.  "I'm waiting on a buddy who's shopping."

"I heard Harris was back."

"Kidnaped back.  He's good enough at the moment and leaving again."

"That's fine.  He need anything?"

"His old ID.  His wallet from Miami?"

"Go to the local DMV, Oz.  They'll be able to pull it up and get a copy of it.  He had it renewed when he hit twenty-one, it'll be good for a few years."  Oz nodded at that.  "Any other problems?"

"Airline issues."

"Can't help you there but the local bank may be able to call his and get a check cut or something."

"Not a bad idea.  Thanks."  That got a smile and Oz called Methos' phone.  "It's me.  Tell Xander to call his bank and get them to see if they can forward cash to Sunnydale for him.  Yeah, that stuff. Thanks."  He hung up.  That would help some things. Ryan came out without bags. "Emergency card didn't work?"

"Need Xander's permission."  Oz handed over his phone.  "Thanks, I left mine back at your place."  He went inside and called there, getting Methos.  "Can you hand the phone to Xander?  I need his permission to use his card."  He handed it to the woman working the register.

"Mr. Harris? This is," she agreed happily.  "Yes, that's what I needed. Thank you, dear.  We know.  It's her daughter so she's in pain.  We all understand that," she promised him.  "You behave, young man."  She hung up and handed it back, letting him sign the slip.  "Thank you, young man."

"I try really hard," he said with a grin and a wink, making her blush.  "Think this'll fit Xander?"

"The last time I saw him he was a bit bulkier.  If not, have him bring it back with the tags still on, dear."  He nodded and headed out with the bags.  "Such nice young men they have down south.  Maybe I should move there," she told herself, watching his butt as he walked.

***

Xander walked into the hotel with a sigh of relief.  "I hate traveling," he told the desk clerk.  "We need a room for the three of us."  The clerk looked at them then at him.  "Yes, a double room would be fine," he assured him with a small smile.  "Really."  That got a nod.  "We'll be here until we can get a flight out."

"Unfortunately all our lesser rooms are taken up by the storms, sir."  Ryan put down the card.  "I can see what we've got on our upper ends," he offered.  "That would be at least a hundred and fifty a night, sir."  Xander shrugged.  "That's fine then."  He typed it in and nodded.  "We do have a junior executive suite.  They're saying four nights?"

"Make it five in case and if we have to we can refund the last night," Ryan told him. That got a nod and he ran it, frowning.  "Try it again.  It's had that issue all day."  It was ran again and he smiled, handing Xander the slip to sign.  "Sorry, they've been fussy."

"It happens around LA for some reason."

"Too many electromagnetic things," Xander told him.  "Must be worse in silicon valley."  That got a smile and he took their room keys.  "Thank you."

"Were you stranded due to the storm?"

"No, I was recently kidnaped and brought to Sunnydale," he admitted. "These two are my big rescuers."  He pinched Ryan on the cheek.  "Aren't they adorable!" he squealed.  The man smiled and nodded.  "Thank you."  He headed up to the room, calling Horatio from there.  "We're in.  Do you have caller ID?"  He smiled.  "That's us.  We're all here.  Four days, maybe five if we're unlucky.  We're trying, boss.  I promise we are."  He smiled and let Ryan have the phone.  "Here you go."

"Hey, Horatio.  No, we're fine. Do you have the number on caller ID?  We're in under Harris or room 2214. Yup.  Thanks.  No, tell them we're all fine and it's going okay.  Yup, Xander has real pants at the moment. Thanks, boss."  He hung up and laid down next to Xander, getting cuddled.  Adam smiled and got his own bed.  "You can have him to cuddle tomorrow night if you need him, Adam."

"That's fine, Ryan.  I'll let you both know.   If I must, I'll head to the local branch of Devi's establishment."

Xander looked over at him.  "There is?"  Methos nodded.  "If you go there, I'll lose all respect for you."  Adam looked over at him. "I had full support for that place before he kept trying to get me back.  Even when I said no.  Blackmailing me, using me, trying to take me himself."  He shuddered.  "Coming back from my first real, scary, kidnaping and they had to put me there.  He told me I never should have left and then one of the other boys comes out with the brilliant line of 'can't rape the willing','" he mocked.  "Because we all know I'm going to let anyone and everyone have it."

"Had I known, I would have stopped going last year," he soothed.  He came over to get his back to hold him.  "It was you, the one he sent to deal with the blackmailing demons?"  Xander nodded.  "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Not like I want to remember it," he said quietly. He looked back at him.  "He stopped thankfully."

"Not totally but Ray and I did manage to convince him that selling those tapes of you during your work hours was a very unwise idea.  He's since gotten the point."  He stroked over his hair.  "It'll be fine and unless he calls about a member I won't go there again.  There are many more liberal establishments around the world than his."  Xander nodded and relaxed.  "Shhh, now let's rest."

"Not sleepy," he mumbled.

"It's been a long few days, Xander," Ryan said quietly. "You rest."  Xander nodded and closed his eyes.  "We'll go to dinner after this."  Xander nodded again and shifted his head some, letting them soothe him into sleep. "I didn't even know about those.  Probably only Don or Danny did."

"I'll talk with Don when we get home.  Perhaps there's a new way to torture them."  He smiled and went back to his own bed but Xander grumbled so he came back and let the boy feel surrounded and comforted. "Sorry."

Ryan shrugged. "Horatio has pointy toenails that stab you in the middle of the night.  It's fine, Methos."  He stroked over Xander's hair.  "We've got to have that card straightened out."

"I shall.  Something soothing tonight for his dinner.  He'll need it."  That got another nod and Methos called the desk to have something sent up.  They could eat in when he woke up. Then he called Steve.  "Please straighten out the people over his black stripe MasterCard?" he said in greeting.  "Yes, Xander's.  We're in LA, Steve.  Kidnaping.  Sunnydale."  He smirked evilly.  "Exactly.  Yes but the airport is still closed.  No, I suspect there's going to be a great bit of flux since they need a new house.  Thank you, Steven.  Yes, of course.  He's sleeping.  Ryan, poke your napping buddy."  He handed the phone over.

"Steve, Ryan.  Yeah.  Just what he said.  Group of other-dimensional cultists who wanted to sacrifice him and Don Flack but they were able to keep Don from being removed from Miami if you want to get technical about it," he offered. "We are. We're going to see if he can use the gift certificates that're in the desk at home.  He does.  He's got a five thousand dollar one for Armani and a few others.  Including some other Visa gift cards I'm sure. Well, if I could magic them here, I would, but I can't and Xander's not that strong.  Yeah.  Didn't you set up the thing through the bank in Sunnydale?"  He smiled.  "That's fine.  That'll be enough to fly but I don't want to risk it.  Thank you, Steve.  That's us.  2214.  Thanks.  We're in under his name."  He hung up and threw it back. "He'll work on them to see what's wrong and his bank has a branch out here plus he still didn't move everything from the demon bank."

Xander lifted his head to look at him.  "Why?  We can get home."

"In case we have to do something impressive to get there," Methos said quietly.  "Or the card is maxed out by us staying here."  He got up to get the door, signing the slip and waving off the room service waiter.  He brought the cart inside.  "Here, this way you don't have to go out and deal with people."  They moved to the small table and settled in to eat, Xander mostly eating the mousse, which was as he had planned.

***

Xander got off the phone with his usual credit card company, smiling as he walked into the first store he wanted to use.  The salesman sneered. "I got stranded due to the storm in a little up-country town.  Feel lucky it's not Walmart."  The man shuddered at that.  "I have a gift certificate at home, in Miami."  The man smirked at that.  "For five thousand dollars. If I give you the number can you look it up?"

"I can, but I'll need ID and it has to match the name on it."

"I have my old one.  I was rather kidnaped at an inconvenient time with this storm."  The man gaped and he shrugged.  "I'm a GHS member."  The man's eyes went wide.  "Xander Harris," he said, grinning and shaking his hand.  He handed over the sheet.  "That's the one that's in the box at home.  I got it in Vegas if that helps."

The man walked over to the computer to look it up. "I do see one was purchased in that name but no name was filled in."

"It was meant to be a present.  I gave him a choice of that or ten thousand to a very good chocolatier."  The man moaned. "Another member and his keeper."  That got a smile.  "So, may I use it?  I really do dread wearing this for another day."

"I'll have to check to make sure, sir."

"That's fine."  He went to browse, finding a few things that were tolerable.  He cleared his throat so he walked back out.  "Bad news?"

"We would prefer to have it in our hand so it can't be double used."

Xander smiled and pulled out Ryan's wallet.  "My keeper's coworker.  He came out to save me," he said quietly.  The man's eyes bulged.  "Mr. Wolfe is sleeping in because I tossed and turned all night and kicked the hell out of his legs for him."  That got a small smile.  "I can prove who I am."

"That's fine, sir.  Then we can do that as long as we get proof it was cut up."

"Go through the system, it can give you a running tally.  The other one I bought has been used about ten times."

"I can see that."  He smiled.  "It was meant to the same person?"  That got a nod.  "Some people do have wonderful taste.  What can I help you with today?"

"I feel and look best in all natural fabrics.  I'm hoping we can do pants and shirts?  Maybe some boxers?  Like I said, this is about all I have."

"I can understand fully, sir. Let's go see what we can do.  Full suits?"

"Not really.  Not my thing.  I prefer slightly loose silk pants and silk button-ups.  Or regular t-shirts with them."

"That's a very popular look.  "What do you do?"

"I'm a bed toy."  He spluttered and Xander beamed.  "I am. A number of GHS members are."

"I've only heard of your organization."

"There's only about three thousand of us."  He grinned.  "I'm spoiled, pampered, and kept like a princess.  Hence the hair."  The salesman laughed and leaned on a rack, smiling at that.  "Now, shirts?  This one itches, it's polyester.  Ryan did the best he could....  But it was Sunnydale."

"I understand fully.  I don't much like polyester either."  He led him to where he needed to go.  Within a half an hour everything he'd need for the next few days was gotten, including a bag.  He rang him up and Xander handed over his card for the extra sixty dollars, getting a call.

"Xander Harris."  He listened.  "That's me.  Because I was kidnaped, not like clothes are  usually on their list to bring with you, especially when they plan on killing you and taking your heart out," he admitted, taking the bag with a smile.  "That's fine.  Of course, dear."  He hung up and signed the slip.  "My emergency card is so fussy!"

"I guess it's a good thing. Security and all."

"Yeah, but I want it to work for me in these sort of situations."  He grimaced. "I'll pay them off later and get a new one."  He handed back their copy with a smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, sir."  He crossed their number off Xander's list.  "I must say, you have good taste in presents."

"I do try.  I got nagged for too long about my hawaiian shirts."  The salesman laughed so he shrugged again.  "The officer who got the other gift card I bought that day made me go with him so I had decent clothes that wouldn't embarrass him."

"It's nice to have friends," he agreed.  "Have a nice day, sir."  Xander nodded and bounced out with his new suitcase of clothes.  "That poor man.  He must be bored stupid most of the time."  He called his manager back.  "It's me again, sir.  We did go through the system and it did get cashed out. Fully.  Plus sixty dollars of taxes that he paid on another card. I did see his state ID, it was an older one.  Apparently he's just recently moved from a small town called Sunnydale to Miami.  No, he said his keeper, whatever that is, is an officer down there. Yes, so it's unable to be used again," he assured him.  "Thank you, sir.  You too, sir."  He hung up and went back to watching the store.  It was a slow Wednesday with the storms coming in.

***

Xander came back to the hotel room with two suitcases of clothes, handing over one of them to Methos and Ryan. "Your sizes, approximately." They smiled and dug in, finding something clean to wear.  "Also, I hate my credit card company."  That got a clap from Ryan.  "I did use a lot of your minutes talking with my personal banker and she's assured me they can fix that and pay that one off immediately, as long as Steve agrees, and that the EFT they've got planned will go through today to the bank here in the hotel.  So I've got to check on that in about an hour."  He grinned.  "Also, Danny did file paperwork for a mortgage for some reason.  I have no idea why he didn't just take the rest.  She did put my name on it since he went through her.  The pictures of what happened to the house and the one Ryan sent back of what I looked like were more than enough to motivate her. So, we've got everything we should need for the next three days. Or four, depending on the weather, because the storm is going to hit any hour now."

"Go check on the bank draft now," Ryan ordered.

"I checked on my way up.  They said it was coming through and it'd be about an hour."

"That's fine," Ryan agreed, smiling at him.  "How much is coming?"

"A few thousand.  Enough to live on and get home on.  Even if we do have to rent a private flight to make it there.  We should layover in Vegas."

"If we could get a train out, I wouldn't care to," Methos offered.  "I haven't seen Jace in a few months."

Xander shrugged. "Only if I get to go play cards and slots this time."

"No slots," Ryan reminded him.  Xander pouted. "No."

"Fine."  He smiled.  "Not even one?"

"No, not even one," he said firmly.  "That's too much like cheating."  Xander sighed and nodded. "Good boy.  Cuddle?"  Xander snuggled in and got comfortable.  "I like you in silk.  Comfortable?"

"Very."  He grinned at Methos.  "Is that too small?  I meant for that to be Ryan's.  Yours was all on the left side."  Methos got out of the shirt and got into another one.  It was looser.  "I guessed based on your favorite sweater."

"It's perfectly comfortable," he assured him.  Someone knocked on the door and he got up to answer it.  "Yes, officer?"

"Is there a Mr. Harris here?"

Xander sat up and looked over that way. "What?  More problems with my emergency card?"

"No, sir.  I was asked to escort you down to the bank."  Xander shrugged and grabbed his wallet, Ryan following.  "You are, sir?"

"CSI Wolfe, Miami-Dade," he offered, shaking his hand.  "I'm Xander's backup protector."  The man looked confused.  "Not too many members of GHS here?"

"Oh, no wonder!" he said firmly.  "We do have a few and I used to work up in Beverly Hills.  My boss asked for me specifically for some reason, now I understand."  He smiled at Xander.  "You're fairly young."

"Found out last year," he offered, shrugging a bit.  "I'm okay with being a level ten."  The man moaned.  "Yeah.  Only one good slip though.  I made him crawl after me after he threatened to shoot me."  Ryan hugged him. "I live about ten minutes from the PD at the moment."

"He was suicidal," Ryan offered.  That got a nod in understanding.  "This time was just cultists who wanted to kill him in a sacrificial rite."

"Someone cursed you to an interesting life, didn't they?" he teased.

"Quite possibly but the more interesting it is the less I get bored."  Ryan pinched him, making him yelp.  "Sorry!  I do get bored now and then."

"I heard.  We'll work on that next, Xander."  Xander gave him an impish grin.  "Behave."  Xander sighed and nodded.  "Thank you."  They were escorted into the bank.  "Hi."

"Which of you is Mr. Harris?"  Xander raised his hand.  "And you are?"

"Ryan Wolfe.  I'm on his accounts as well.  All we could get for ID for him was a fairly old one," he admitted.  "Being kidnaped during a storm like this sucks."

"Yes, I suppose it would."  He smiled and looked at the picture in the file.  "They did send over an identification file, Mr. Harris.  If I can have your signature?"  Xander signed the computer box, letting him compare it.  "Not too far off.  Mr. Wolfe?"  He found his name listed. "If you'd sign as well, just as a second precaution?"  Ryan nodded and signed, his was spot on.  "Very nice, thank you, gentlemen.  And you as well, Officer."  He got the envelope from his desk.  "This is what Miss Gold said to send you, Mr. Harris.  Please count it?"  Xander took it and sat down to count it, then shrugged.  "Is it correct?"

"I asked Steve for a few thousand.  It's more than I expected but that's fine with me."  That got a smile and he signed the other forms, letting Ryan sign as well.  "Thank you."

"We pride ourselves on our services.  Especially during the trying times.  Have a good day, boys, and you as well, Officer."

"Thank you, sir."  He walked them back to the elevator, looking at Ryan.  "How stressful is your job?"

"Very. We don't have set hours.  We get the crime scenes and are more responsible for putting people away than any other department.  I wouldn't trade working with Horatio for the world, but there've been plenty of eighteen and twenty hour days and no days off for a few weeks in a row."  The officer moaned.  "It's got its rewards."

"I'm sure the overtime check is nice."

"It is but it's also the feeling that you put someone away when they deserved it for being a dirtbag."  The officer smiled. "Plus no more ironing my uniform."  That got a laugh and they got onto the elevator, him giving Xander a hug.  "How much did they send?"

"Steve added zeros to a few thousand."

Ryan took it to count, then looked at him. "I'd say.  We'll call Steve later and you can pay my phone bill this month."  Xander smiled at him. They were escorted back to their room.  "Thank you, Officer Jenkins."  That got a smile.  "Got a spot on your shirt by the way."  He looked down and licked a finger, getting off the sauce.  "Go hide from the rain."

"Yes, sir.  You be careful as well."  He walked off, barely beating the rain back to his car. He hated these storms.  But they had been a very cute couple.

***

Xander hung up with Steve.  "He said he did it because the accounts were going to be locked until I got back due to the mortgage thing going over. Apparently the house they found is very nice and about what I've got in the present one.  A bit further out.  The problem became that they couldn't sell the old one with the damage on the walls.  Or while Horatio and you guys had it locked as a crime scene. I told him to take it out of the accounts but he said they couldn't do that from most of them.  He's switching stuff around which is why it'll be locked for a few more days.  Hence us having some major cash on hand."  He shrugged.  "Danny just got paid so they'll be all right.  Spot may be healed by the time I get home and he'll probably hate me, but we'll get home eventually."

"We'll be fine and your dog loves you, Xander."

"I couldn't protect him.  I had to sit there and watch while they did it.  I couldn't help him at all.  He's got to hate me."

"He knows you didn't hurt him, Xander," Methos said quietly, lifting up an arm.  He snuggled up to him.  "It'll be fine.  Where are we moving you to?"

"Somewhere called The Grove?"  Ryan smirked at that.  "Good?"

"Very nice estates.  Barely within call-in distance.  But you'll be closer to me now."  Xander shrugged. "Not happy with that?"

"You know I don't care if you move in, Ryan."

"Good point."  He kissed him on the forehead.  "Let me go to the bathroom then we'll talk about dinner, okay?"  Xander nodded.  "Good boy."  He went to do that, saying a prayer to Ares and Strife that the sale go through and that they go home sooner instead of later.  Xander needed to make sure everything was the same at home.  Plus this was going to drive him nuts.  This storm was grating on his nerves.  Strife appeared and gave him a hug.  "Sorry."

"This storm grates on everyone's nerves," he said quietly.  "The house is going through okay. It's got privacy and a security patrol.  They eased the call-in radius for those two by a few feet.  It'll be fine," he promised.   "I'm keeping down the tension and the things that could go wrong."  Ryan relaxed against him. "It's the storm.  Relax and let it flow, Ryan.  In and out.  In and out."  Ryan took a few deep breaths.  "Good.  No stopping to gamble.  He'll lose this time and it'll look worse when he goes to the convention."  He kissed him on the back of the neck.  "Order in a movie.  Have him put some of that on the tab."  Ryan nodded so he disappeared.

Ryan finished up and washed his hands then came out.  "Put some of that on the tab.  We'll watch a movie tonight?"  Xander smiled and nodded so they handled it that way.  It was a good and relaxing thing.  Even if Methos did order porn after that and had Xander yelping in pleasure within minutes. Ryan could only shake his head and smile.  You had to smile when two great lovers went at each other and it lasted for hours longer than the movie that started them off.

***

Ryan pulled Xander away from the slots in the airport.  "Strife said no gambling this time, Xander.  You'd lose and it'd be harder during the convention."  Xander sighed but let him lead him to the McDonald's inside the airport so he could get him breakfast.  He brought some back for Methos as well since he was half-asleep waiting on their flight to be called.  Xander flopped down and waved the coffee they had gotten specially under his nose, earning a grunt and a snatch. Then some hissing because it was next to lava in hotness. Ryan handed Xander his food and sat down to eat, watching the board.  Their flight was on time.  It was going to be a good day to get home.  Even if it did take most of the day to get home.  Their flight was finally called and he let the other two proceed him, smiling at the stewardess when she checked their tickets.  He settled into his first class seat, smiling at Xander since theirs faced each other.  "I like this design."

"So do I.  Especially if you're traveling with someone."  Someone came to get their last seat in the grouping and he nodded cordially then looked at Ryan again.  "Which one do you think will be picking us up?"

"I'm hoping it's not Eric and him going 'you have a case right now, Wolfe'."  He grinned.  "As long as that doesn't happen, I'm okay with it."  Xander beamed at that.  "Don't forget to cut up the gift certificates when you get home."

"I will.  I already sent the list of used ones to Danny and he promised he did."  He buckled up when the door closed, looking back, then at Ryan and giving him a 'sorry' look.  Ryan looked and groaned.  He adjusted his badge out of sight.

The stewardess came on and told them not to resist, that everything would be all right as long as they didn't resist.  Then she was forced back into her seat.

"We're going to San Salvador," he said firmly with only a hint of accent in his voice.

"We won't have enough fuel for that," someone called.  He glared and pointed the gun in their direction.  "Never mind.  We'll die a fiery death."

"That so sounded like something Speed would say," Ryan admitted, dialing home.  He put the phone beside him once he heard noises.

"I want no interference from anyone," he ordered.  "This plane is going to San Salvador.  Then you will be allowed to go back to Miami."

Xander looked.  "Can't we just drop you in Mexico?  Or let you hijack a flight in Miami?  There might even be one going your way there."

"I said shut up," he said, sticking the gun in his face.  "I will be leaving from this city!  I am going to San Salvador!"

"Sure," Xander agreed.  He turned up his hormones.  Methos and Danny had both taught him how to do this correctly instead of by instinct so he didn't enslave everyone on the plane.  He gave him an interested look.  "What's your name?"

"Ricardo," he sneered. "Whatever you're trying won't work."

"I'm not trying anything.  I'm trying to make this a pleasant kidnaping experience, unlike my last one."  The man gave him a horrified look.  "What can I say, the cultists thought my heart was big enough for their needs."  He looked even more horrified.  Xander let it spike suddenly and he wobbled.  "Here, perhaps you should sit.  Get a bit comfortable?"  He glared at the person sitting with them, making him move very quickly out of the way.  Xander got him seated and patted him on the knee like he was a child.  "It's all right. I know how stressful kidnaping can be.  Especially on the kidnapers.  You always have to worry about something like rescue missions.  Then again, I hear the Vegas SWAT team isn't as pretty in action as Miami's is."  The man swallowed so he sent another surge, making him pant.  "Do you need medical attention? Ryan, you know CPR, check his vitals?  I'm horrible with that."

"Sure, Xander."  He checked him over, nodding. "His pulse is a bit high.  Maybe you should consider a later flight to get that under control."

"No, I must go now.  They need me," he said urgently.  He looked at Xander.  "You understand, don't you?"

"I do," he agreed. "I know all about urgent need.  But if you're ill they could quarantine you when you land.  That won't do anyone any good."   The man nodded at that wisdom. "Plus they'd quarantine us and within minutes there's going to be a screaming baby that'll make someone want to commit homicide in four days when he won't quit screaming."  He smiled.  "It's a rule of air flight travel. There's always one person with a cold and one screaming baby.  If you bought the cheapest tickets, they're in close proximity to you."  The man laughed.  "Now, I really do think you should be examined by someone.  You're still pale and shaky, Ricardo.  It won't do whoever you're going to see any good if you collapse."  He smiled at the hesitant nod. "You should.  Really."

"I don't have time."

"I wish we had the time to argue."  He spiked a third time and he slid to his knees.  "Put it down, Ricardo," he said firmly.  "Hand Ryan the gun."  He handed him the gun and Xander stroked his chin.  "Good boy, Ricardo.  Very good boy.  Now, apologize."

"I'm...I'm sorry," he announced, staring at Xander, who smiled at him and nodded. "I do not mean to inconvenience anyone."

"We understand," Ryan assured him, patting him on the head like he would Xander if he was under stress.  "Now, what's your real name?"

"Ricardo Estovan."  He gave Xander an adoring look.  "Will you write to me in San Salvador?"

"If I have your address."  He wrote it out for him.  "I'll write you there.  Thank you, Ricardo.  Now.  I do believe the military is here.  They're not going to be happy.  You should say you're ill."  He nodded.  "Tell them that, believe it, have them extradite you.  They'll send you home."

He nodded and got up, going to open the door and tell them that.  "I'm ill, I need to go home to San Salvador."

"Come with us, sir, and we'll see what we can do to help both problems," one of them said, holding out a hand.  "Come on."  He nodded and stepped across, letting them capture him. "Thank you. What's your name?"

"Ricardo Estovan," Ryan called.  "I've got his gun, guys."  One of them came in and he flashed his ID and hung up his phone. "Got a sudden call from Miami?" he asked at the amused look.

"I did, sir. Remember you can't use the cellphone during the flight.  Good work, do you teach that technique?"

"I'm still learning it off Xander," he admitted, pointing at him.

"Understood.  Sometimes the best cure is a psychological one."  He walked out, then came back.  "We'll need statements."  Xander pulled him down and whispered in his ear, getting an odd look.  "Huh?"  Adam handed over a card with the website's address.  "You are, sir?"

"The national head," he said grimly.  "His trainer."

"Okay. I'll make note of that and if we need anything I'm sure we can find Officer Wolfe."

"Call the felony lab.  I'm usually there on dayshift," Ryan promised. "All the lab knows Xander."

"Even better, sir.  Have a better flight, everyone."  He walked off, telling his boss what had been said.  That got a moan and a nod.  "You understood that? I got given a web address."

"Look it up, the convention's here this upcoming year," someone called from inside the plane.

"Aw, crap," the leader said.  "That's something we'll have to let everyone know about.  At least it was bloodless and explosionless.  Let's check the plane anyway, boys."  They nodded, going to take the bomb sniffing dog inside to do that.  Then around the cargo containers and the luggage.

***

Horatio hung up his phone and put his head down, shaking it.  Someone knocked and walked into his office.  He looked up at his boss.  "Wolfe is on his way back but he's going to be delayed a few more hours.  Someone tried to hijack it to San Salvador."

"I heard on the news and I figured Harris had to be on it."  That got a nod.  "They all right?"  Horatio nodded again, grimacing some.   "They got him?"

"Xander did."

"Good.  Hopefully this one crawled as well."  He grinned.  "Who on your team is going to the convention?"

"Speed, myself, Danny, Don Flack, Ryan wants to go.  No one else should have to go.  Ray  might want to go.  He's dating the national head after all."

"I'll make note of that.  Is he working out all right?  I just passed him and he was balancing a marker on his nose."

"Computer services came back to screw up his computer more.  He's waiting on Cooper to come in on his day off and fix it for him again so he can do productive things."  That got a smile.  "He's bought my tech flowers and candy for fixing his computer, boss.  They need their butts chewed again."

"I'll get on it tonight, Horatio.  Any idea what the problem is?"

"The nightshift person who uses his desk is trying to download files and the system shuts down as a security precaution."

"Even better.  IA know that?"  Horatio shrugged. "I'll make sure.  He should just print them out like the rest of us on a vendetta."  He shrugged.  "Anyway.  Wolfe didn't get any vacation time taken away for this.  I figure he was on duty guarding Mr. Harris.  Did he work with the department out there?"

Horatio snorted.  "They have no idea what a CSI is probably.  They're a small, rural department without much of a night shift from what I understand. They're supposed to be very nice.  Xander had to deal with them in the past when he was accused of raping his best friend while he was in New York and she was back there."

"Parental retaliation for him not being there?"  Horatio nodded, pressing his lips together.  "It happens.  We've all seen it happen, Caine.  Hopefully she's learned better?"

"Her daughter certainly didn't when she came to blow up his SUV and Detective Messer's car," Speed said from the doorway. "I just caught a news report.  San Salvador?"

"They were on that one.  Xander got him down and out of danger with a small surge.  He's in custody.  He'll be a few hours late, you might want to tell Don and the rest."

"Don heard it and started to thump his head on his desk.  He was playing the radio while he did reports."  He shook his head when the chief looked at him.  "Only Xander."

"Ryan was there and so was Adam," Horatio reminded him.

"True, but still, only Xander.  Maybe he'll get you a new gift certificate to take the place of the one he had to use, H."

"Maybe."  The Chief looked interested.  "When he went to Las Vegas to visit the person out there after the kidnaping, mostly because she had information they needed to put it behind them, he gambled and won quite a lot.  So he got various gift certificates.  Including one from Armani for me and another one for this year."  His boss smirked at that.

"Five thousand worth of Armani goes a long way when you shop the end of the season clearance," Speed offered.

The Chief looked at them.  "What did you get for Christmas?"

"Another five thousand to a different suit maker; this one does custom suits and keeps your measurements on file.  I got one to spoil Speed and his bike fetish," Horatio offered with a small smile.  "He knows us very well."

"Yeah, the ten grand to the chocolate makers was very appreciated," Speed agreed.  "Speaking of, I called Fed Ex and them to bitch Fed Ex a new one for letting the last group melt.  They're sending a new one since I sent that one back."  He walked off again. "It was them," he announced. "They're all fine.   They're going to be a bit later than expected."

Eric moaned from his lab.  "Do I want to know?"

"Two words, Eric.  San Salvador."  Eric thumped his head on the wall, shaking it.  "Attempted hijacking."

"Only Xander," Eric moaned, looking at him.  "If Ryan comes home with a tan, can I spank him?"

"Go ahead.  Works for me."  He walked off happier now that he had made someone groan.  Danny came out of ballistics.  "They're fine."

"I'm sure they are. Otherwise I would be kicking ass, not letting Eric spank it later."   They shared a look.  "He went to do real shopping too."

"I know.  He spent the other gift certificate he got for Horatio."  He smirked.  "You did cut that one up, right?"  Danny nodded.  "Is the new house all set up?"

"All but his bed.  That had to be moved all by itself.  It's heavier than hell," he said dryly.  Calleigh slammed the door.  "Sorry. I'll watch for delicate ears."  He looked at Speed again then shook his head. "Don done yet?"

"No but he's giving anyone who walks past this desperate 'come save me' look."

"I can do that.  I have a suspect."  He grinned and walked off to talk to him. Don gave him that look too and he waved the folder, making Don grin and snatch it.  "Let's go, puppy dog eyes."

"Coming."  He got up and grabbed his jacket.  "Do I do it as well as Xander?"

"No.  No one else can talk a hijacker down like he can," he offered, giving him a look.  "You, me, lunch, the gym?"

"Works for me," Don agreed happily, heading after him.

"I don't know which is more bouncy: Don, Xander, or the dog they both claim is theirs," Yelina complained.

"I've discovered it depends on the reason," Frank said lightly.  "See a tennis ball and it's the dog.  See his men and it's Xander.  See Xander just out of trouble and it's Xander.   See Xander in a spoiling mood and it's Xander but Don bounces later."  She laughed at that.  "He does.   Then he wears it out with the dog."  Ray laughed at that.  "What're you getting Cooper this time?"

"He can name it."

"Know any pretty girls?  He could use a date so he's bouncy too," Frank offered.

"Some," Ray said with a grin.  "Danny knows a few too."

"Stella's made to be worshiped, not dated.  Monroe's too mouthy, and their new one up there is like Ares as a cross-dresser from what I've heard," Frank said, looking at him.  "Beard and all from what I got from Stella."  Ray laughed at that. "I think the nicest I've heard her called was 'the Goddess on steroids'."  Yelina laughed at that. "Really."

Danny came back nodding.  "Yup. Ares cross-dressing as Artemis.  Including the leopard print stuff.  Forgot the keys."  He found them and headed out again.

The detectives all howled.

Ares scowled at even the thought of that image.  He'd never be able to fit into Artemis' favorite leopard skin skirt. That was just wrong!  He pouted at Strife when he came in.

Strife replayed the last conversation and pulled up a picture of her, nodding.  "She is, Unc, she looks like you without the beard most days."  Ares looked and whimpered, then stomped off shaking his head.  He shrugged.  "Not my fault," he called after him.  "Maybe I should get 'Dite to tell Stella about makeovers...."  He went to talk her into it.  She liked Stella, thought she was a great woman.

***

Mac looked up at the giggling he could hear. "Do you mind, I'm trying to do paperwork here," he complained quietly.  "Bad enough I had to chase down Methos rumors again."

Strife appeared, grinning mightily at him.  "Awww, does the big, bad Methos still need hunted down with his butt buddy Theo?"

"They're still alive?"

"Yeah, very alive. Xander knows 'em both but doesn't know he knows Theo.  You've seen Theo actually and not known."  He grinned evilly.  "We're tryin' ta talk Stella into helping a certain Amazon in your unit into a makeover.  That way people quit calling her the cross- dressing Ares.  Let's face it, a God'a War poutin' ain't fun for no one."

"Sure.  Please do.  Then again she does scare suspects that way."

"She scares me and that says somethin'," Strife assured him.  "Listened to the radio yet?"

Mac moaned and turned it on once he was gone, shaking his head at the report of the siege and the attempted plane hijacking being over with thanks to civilian help. "Xander," he complained.  He looked up.  "Are you Xander's biological father, Strife?" he complained.  "If not, are you sure?  We can do the paternity test if you want."

Strife, who was upstairs, bowled over laughing, making Stella give him a fond look.  "Mac thinks I'm Xan's dad," he chortled and gasped.  "Said he could do the test."

She reached down to pet him on the head.  "I'm not so sure you're not.  Then again, I'm not so sure you're not his twin some days.  You'd look cute in the hair."  He cackled harder and started to vibrate then disappeared.  She heard a faint explosion before the pop of him disappearing was gone.  She looked over when Monroe came in a few minutes later.  "How's it going?"

"Can we please make her wear pants?  I can already tell you she doesn't shave up there."

Stella nodded. "I'm going to handle that, Lindsey.  All I need is a bit of Xander magic."  A card appeared next to her.  "Is this one Xander needs or used recently?" she asked.  She got a 'no' feeling.  "We're sure since I know he had to use some in LA?"  It was replaced by a Visa giftcard.  "Sure."  She smiled and called to check the balance.  More than enough!  She called Mac.  "I'm handling it.  Anything in particular...."  He said something.  "That.  Yeah. Thanks."  She hung up and went to find her target, coughing.  "Don't bend over that way."  Their new tech gave her a hurt look.  "We can all see and there's been a few complaints about your clothes.  Come on, we'll work on it together over a long lunch."  She held up the Visa card.  "It was donated to help you become more professional looking."

"I'm perfectly..." she said in a deep voice.

Stella looked at her.  "We can all tell you don't shave the hair between your ass cheeks, Elizabeth.  Let's go.  Before Mac has to hear another patrol officer whine or another DA whine."  She followed her out, letting herself be taken shopping.  "Besides, you can't crawl on the ground in that and it's going to be those cases soon.  Even though we have snow at the moment.  Then the spring mud season.  You'll want them.  Pants are a lot more practical and depending on what style and fabric you get them in, they might even highlight you better."

"If you say so," she said petulantly.

"I do and if I don't, Mac's going to have to put the complaints into your file," she said firmly, getting in to drive.  "Considering two of them said it was unnatural to have that much hair sticking out of your skirt, I think it's going to look bad and you don't need that and we don't need that to come up during a trial."  She started the car and took off with her, taking her to get some tasteful clothes.  Because this girl.... she'd seen prostitutes with longer skirts than she was wearing today.

***

Xander came off the plane and ran over to hug Don.  "I missed you. You're okay."

"I missed you too and of course I'm fine.  They only had me for a few minutes.  They had you for hours."  He pushed him back to look at him.   "Spot's not mad.  He's been looking forward to being spoiled by you."  Xander gave him a hopeful look. "I promise.  Just don't touch the casts, he hates them and growls whenever we try."  Xander nodded.  "Bags?"

"Checked."  He smiled at Ryan and Methos as they came off.  "He said Spot doesn't hate me."

"I knew he wouldn't," Methos assured him.  "Come along, let's see the new house."

"Only thing not there yet are the ferrets we can't find and the bed.  The bed's being moved today.  The ferrets, they'll probably show up in the lab in a few minutes."  He smiled at Xander.  "George has been miserable without you.  He hates the cone on his head so he can't chew his stitches.  He hates the stitches.  We've had to keep Beauty from chewing on them for him.  Or on the casts for Spot."  Xander grinned at that. "So, what did you bring me?"

"I'm not enough?" Xander teased.

"Of course you are."

Xander gave him a cuddle and a squeeze.  "I brought you back a gift card."

"Cool. I like gift cards.  Will I use this one?"

"I hope so."  He pinched him on the butt and let Methos get the bags this time since Ryan had gotten them from the hotel.  He smiled at Don.  "I was a good boy."  He saw Ryan shaking his head and glared at him.  "I was so."

"Until the third day of the storm you were," Ryan assured him.  "After that we were all a bit nuts and you went with us."  He patted Xander on the back and looked over at Methos.  "Let me guess, one of them opened?"

"No, they're both out but one's tags are stuck on the conveyor."  He caught it when it came around again and this time it came off.  "Ah, there."  He walked it over, letting Xander have his.  "He showed restraint and taste."

"Good.  We like those two niceties."   He walked them out to his car.  "Yours is already there," he assured Xander.  "I drove it over personally.  Ryan, Danny checked on your horse.  She's doing fine.  Lonely since she's in heat but fine."  Ryan smiled at that.  "Adam, your boy's insane and heading further down the slope. His computer's back on the blink. Computer services even locked his ID."  That got a moan.  "So we've been keeping him sane and centered with backrubs and stuff.  It's not been working greatly but once the new pool got put in it was a better time."

Xander beamed at him.  "Cupid moved it?"

"Moved it and we let Eric clean it since he was frustrated," he promised with a smile.  Xander hugged him again.  "Come on, in, boys.  Let's go show you the new house."  He walked around to get in and drive, letting them arrange themselves however.  He ended up sitting next to the extra cuddly boyfriend, making him smile.  He had missed Xander cuddles.  He even managed to drive with only one arm and hand since Xander had the other one, no matter how Ryan coughed for the first few minutes.  He pulled up to the gates of the community.  "This is the older section of Miami.  This is formerly gangster territory."  Xander oohed at that.  "That means it's still secure and safe."  He pulled into their gate and it closed automatically behind them.  "There's a neighborhood watch patrol and they're pretty nice.  They said one of you guys named Marianna used to live out here?"

"She died a few years back," Adam said.  "She was about ninety-three and starting to go senile as I remember her, but fairly a nice and charming woman who wouldn't hesitate to peel the hide off someone.  From older, dirty money.  She lived near the gates if what I remember was correct."

"You do. This one was a drug seizure property.  Horatio found the listings.  He had it checked to make sure it was safe and no new drugs were around."  He finally parked behind the house.  "See, garage.  It fits everything, and the last one is specifically for the bike, not Ryan's horse for all that it does look like a stable."  Ryan smiled at that.  "Come on."  He let them in the back door, and Xander pounced Danny since he was in there, bringing him to the floor to cuddle and kiss.  Don laughed.  "Sure, love him more'n me, Xander."  Xander tripped him and cuddled them both, kissing and stroking them.  "You're  home.  Spot?"  He came hobbling in and looked, then whimpered and limped over.

"My poor baby!  Daddy gets kidnaped right after you're hurt so no one can baby you," he cooed, picking him up to cuddle him.  His puppy growled but then licked his face once he was settled.  "My poor baby!"  He gave him a hug. "Daddy's home and it'll all be better.  We'll take care of those nasty things all we can.  Yes we will."  The dog licked him and whimpered. "You were such a good boy, trying to defend the daddy.  You should have a treat."  Ryan handed down the can of treats.  "There's one."  He plucked one out and let him have it, making him wag his tail half speed.  "Ooh."  He plucked out another one and let him have it.  "Are you sucking up?" he teased.

"He has been for days," Danny assured him, reaching over to pet his side.  The dog growled. "I'm not touchin' the casts, dog."  He went back to petting him.  "I know, Daddy's home and everything's right in the world."  The dog barked and got down, hobbling back to his window seat.  There were birds out there and he wanted to chase them.  "He's been a good boy," he promised, flipping onto his stomach to take another kiss. "Your bed just now got here. The movers hate your bed."  He grinned. "Especially since we needed to air it out."  Xander laughed and got up, making them both get up and show them around. They had an actual formal dining rom with a real table in it, not that they'd use it but they had one.  They had a real living and a real tv section of that living room.  They had sitting area with all the books shelved.  Even the magic books were shelved.  In the same order they had been put back into the bags he had noticed.

They headed to the back of the house, finding the master bedroom.  Xander squealed and bounced on his bed, making the mover in there give him an odd look.  "It's his family's heirloom bed, guys."  That got a nod and the invoice being held out.  Danny looked at it. "That's reasonable."  He paid him and they left, going to have a beer and relax.  "Upstairs are four guest rooms.  All by themselves.  Plus another room if one of us needs some privacy.  Horatio and Speed stayed over last night.  We're still not sure where the ferrets are at their house.  Ryan, yours is upstairs, last one on the floor.  It's got the balcony.  That way you can shove Eric or Aiden off it.  Horatio's probably going to keep hogging Don's old bed since it helps his back.  Notice, we've each got our own closet," he said, pointing.  "Keep your loud shirts outta mine."  Xander grinned and pulled him down on top of him to kiss him again.

Don put the suitcase that had Xander's stuff on the trunk of clothes from Ares' temple, opening it.  "Xander, why is there a crown in here?"  He held it up.  "Not even a great one, it's a teeny bopper, wear to the prom crown."

"Because I'm Xander, Queen of the Amazons," he said firmly, grinning at him.

"I thought that was Gabrielle on the show," Methos noted dryly.

"Yes, but she made a horrible one.  You can't be a queen if you're always traveling.  You can't even be a princess if you're always traveling.  Much less traveling like she did way back when they couldn't get hold of you for months on end.  And hey, even giving it to someone temporarily wasn't really good for the people.  It leads to instability.  Besides, I make a much better amazon than she did and I'm cuter too.  She never bathed, she had nasty hair, and she wore a headband.  I mean, be a bit more creative since you won't be washing your hair except for once a week.  She should've given it over a real amazon and saved them the embarrassment of having to claim her.  Jace agreed with me.  I'd make a good amazon and I'm as much of a queen as she ever was."

Danny pulled out his phone and called his old friend.  "Jace, Danny.  Quit warping my boy Xander.  Please.  Before I have to come out and kick your ass again."  He hung up and kissed Xander stupid.  "You obviously need worn out again."

"Yup," Xander said happily, grinning at him.  "Jace told me I was like Jett's revenge child.  He had a kid that was mostly like Joxer to get revenge on him for picking on his baby brother."  Methos bent over howling in laughter at that. Xander shrugged. "She did. But she did say I'd make a fine queen of the amazons.  So much better than her namesake would've."

Danny moaned and kissed him.  Don crawled up to help.  This was going to take some serious straightening and wearing out to make Xander right again.  Don looked at Ryan.  "You couldn't fix this?"

"He came back like this after I was asleep and we were running late this morning.  Sorry, guys.  Let me hang stuff up."

"I'm back!" Ray shouted.

"Bedroom," Ryan shouted.  "With Xander, Queen of the Amazons."

Ray leaned in.  "Maybe I should go for a beer?"  Methos pulled him closer to kiss, making him moan.  "Missed you too, studly.  Bedroom.  Now."

"Lead on, my prince."  Ray beamed and drug him off to their adopted bedroom.

Ryan called Eric, hanging things up and ignoring the trio on the bed. "We're back and we're at the house.  No, Xander came home with a crown from Claire's and pronounced himself Queen of the Amazons."  He waited while he choked on that image.  "He even rationalized it to Jace, man.  Seriously.  Tell that to the others who watched the show.  That and Jace said he was like the child Jett would have in revenge for picking on his baby brother Joxer."  He grinned.  "Seriously."  He grinned and bit his bottom lip.  "Well, they are trying to calm him down again.  Anyone ever find the ferrets?"  He grinned.  "Sure, you tell Speed that."  He hung up and went back to hanging things up.  Then he went to check the upstairs bedroom that would be his.  He saw Spot and came back down to carry him out, letting him use the plants instead of him whimpering that he was going to be bad and use the window bench.  He got a relieved dog who tried to chase the birds.  "Not yet, dog.  When the itchy things come off."  He got the dog back inside and smiled at him taking his spot back.  He went upstairs to roll around on this bed.  It was a great bed.

***

Eric hung up and looked at Speed, who was out in the hall.  "They're back."

"I figured that was Ryan.  How are they?"

"Xander came home with a cheap girly crown from one of those fashion stores and pronounced himself Queen of the Amazons."  Speed choked on that.  "Jace apparently told him he was like the child born for revenge on Jett for picking on Joxer from that same show.  Ryan sounded like this was perfectly rational.  I need to bury myself in him and make him sane again, don't i?"

Speed walked out and headed upstairs, finding Horatio in his office.  "Please hit me or something to take this image out of my mind?"

"What image?" he asked, putting down his pen.

"Apparently Xander came home with a cheap crown and declared himself Queen of the Amazons?"

"Well, he'd be better than Gabrielle was.  She was always traveling.  Not like she could handle community emergencies or the breeding or farming issues they'd have."  Speed stared at him.  "Then again, Xander is a lot like a child between Jett and Joxer."

"Jace said he was like the revenge child born from Jett for picking on his baby brother.  I knew letting you watch that show for so long would warp you.  No more Xena and Hercules DVD's, Horatio.   I should sell the whole collection."

"Do it and I'm selling your Doctor Who collection," he warned, giving him a look.  Speed gave him a look back.  "Seriously.  It could be worse.  He could be the son of Autolycus and Joxer."

"No more, Horatio.  My word is law in this. You're warped and it's not healthy for you or for the cases.  Some day soon you'll show up dressed like Joxer and then who would comfort the victims and scare everyone else."  He walked off pouting.  Valera and Calleigh stopped him.  "Xander came home and declared himself the Queen of the Amazons.  Horatio said he'd make a good one."

"Horatio's a closet Xena fan?" she asked, looking confused.  "Wow.  Does he read the stuff online too?"

"Don't you dare get him started on that again!" Speed ordered.  She kissed him on the cheek and went to talk to the boss about his love for Joxer.  He looked at Valera.  "Stick up for Eric and I, please?" he begged.

"That was not my version of Sci-Fi," she promised.  "I'm much more a Xanth person. I like Anthony and he's a native to the state."  He nodded, sighing at that.  "Now, calm down.  It's not like we'll really see Xander in the short skirt and sports bra she wore in the later pictures I ended up having to see from a boyfriend.  All you guys made sure he has more taste than that."  Speed nodded, letting her pat him on the back.   "If it helps, I've got DNA from the skin on the rope.  It was the victim's."

"It does," he agreed.  "Thank you, Valera.  I needed that bit of cheering up."

"Go tell Alexx.  I'm sure she's never heard of Xena."

"Maybe."  He walked down there, going to talk to his 'mom'.  "Alexx?"  She came out of the office.  "Xander came home with a crown and named himself Queen of the Amazons."

"The amazons I know might be a bit upset at that."  She gave him a hug and sat him down to feed him some of the cookies she had leftover from lunch.  "I take it's he's back?"

"Yeah, they're probably trying to straighten him out right now."

"Good, the boy could use it."  She poured him some iced tea out of her fridge and let him calm down again.  Her poor baby had been traumatized and the other one probably wasn't much better off.   She looked down.  She could've sworn she saw a movement.  She hoped it wasn't a new batch of rats.

***

Ryan found the special pool later that night, in the basement of course.  It was all cleaned up nicely and it was pretty, and it had Ray in it playing as well.  He kissed him on the head.  "Want something to drink?"

"Please," he moaned.  "And my man if you can get him?"

"Sure."  He walked back upstairs, finding Methos in the kitchen looking confused.  "He's in the basement in the pool and would like you to bring him something to drink."

"Of course he would."  He grabbed some juice and headed down there.

Ryan looked at Xander as he bounced in and hugged him.  "Good playtime?"

"Very and I'm a happy boy even if I can't sit."  He stole a kiss.  "They're asleep.  Am I cooking dinner?"

Ryan sighed.  They hadn't worn Xander out.  He walked him back there and leaned him over, taking him again, making him yell and wiggle, but he did get off and was a lot calmer.  He patted him slowly, putting him down in Don's arms so they could cuddle.  "I'll cook.  You nap."  He went to clean himself up then went to cook, as promised.  Even when Speed brought in some food.  "Hey, that means this can be a side dish."  He got to work shredding the beef he had cooked and adding it the potatoes he had made.  "I had to help wear Xander out, he was still bouncing.  Any luck on the ferrets?"

"We caught Beauty in the morgue.  She was trying to steal the cookies Alexx and I were sharing," Speed offered.  "George.... well...  He was inside Horatio's desk pigging out on the nuts he had in there."  Horatio blushed at that.  "He never looked inside his desk.  He had put his gun in there after putting his jacket on the back of his chair.  George somehow managed to cling to his jacket all the way in, even on the bike, and then hid in there to nibble himself sick.  Horatio heard him throwing up, that's why he looked."  He handed them over from his jacket pocket.

"Aww, were you two helpful again?  Daddy's home.  Let's go see the daddy."  He walked them back there, letting them run across Don's head to nest in Xander's hair, which made Danny look then snort and close his eyes again.  "Beauty could probably use a cuddle.  She was in the morgue."

"Yay her," he said flatly.  "Later."  They filed out so he did look at the ferrets, seeing their curious looks.  "Yes, peoples need to sleep.  You two behave.  For now.  Your cages need to be set up probably."  He yawned and shifted closer to Xander, getting nibbled on.  "Quit, George."  The ferret quit trying to eat his nose and settled on bothering the sleeping daddy instead.  He was drifting off again when Xander was waking up, that's why he got to miss Don giving Xander's head a shove for the squeal of joy.

"Awww, you finally came home to see the daddy. Daddy's so happy the furry babies are home."  He petted them both, making them happy ferrets.  They knew who played and treated them the best.  He slid out of the bed and took them to the bathroom with him to clean up, then walked them out into the kitchen.  He kissed Speed on the cheek.  "Thank you for watching my babies for me."

"You're welcome.  Next time I'm bringing one of the cages or a corral.  Something.  It was very strange to wake up, go down to start breakfast, and find a ferret in on top of the eggs.  The other one came to help me make pancakes so Beauty was really white that day."  He petted them both.  "Cages are being set up now.  Go help."  Xander grinned and skipped off with them, making him smile.  Things were much easier with Xander around. And more fun too because no one else would ever get Ryan Wolfe to make that girly of a scream again.  Xander went running past with Ryan after him, making him and Horatio smile at the silliness of those two.  Horatio came back without the ferrets. "Ferret down the pants?"

"Yes, he did go there," Horatio agreed, stealing a hug.  They watched as Ryan pounced him and they rolled around on the ground, the dog going out to help.  "He's a good helper."

"He is.  We'll have to check for cracker crumbs this time."

"I told everyone to let me know if they saw signs of the ferrets.  I'm wondering why no one saw Beauty.  Especially with as much glass as we have in the lab.  How can you miss a white ferret?"  He heard a squeak from his shoulder and looked over.  "Hi, Beauty.  How did you get out?"  He went to find the other one too, just in case.

Speed opened the door. "Ferrets are loose again.  Go help."  Xander wiggled free of Ryan's grasp and headed inside, smiling and walking the dog's speed so he didn't feel left out.  Yup, there was definitely more to life with Xander around.

"Don't you think I'd make a good queen of the amazons, Horatio?"

Speed moaned.  Then again, was it a good life?  Ryan came in and groaned too, patting him on the back.  "Be strong.  Remember, he'll move onto something else tomorrow."

"I hope so."

A Warm and Happy Home

Xander walked sheepishly into the station, giving the guards a look. "Can one of you give Don this while I hide?"

"Crashed his car?" the guard asked, looking at him.

"Not exactly, or mine thankfully.  No, Don's mom is down and no one told us."  He laughed.  "Thanks, guys."  He handed over the note and left again in a hurry, going to take her back to the house.

The guard called upstairs.  "Detective Flack?   Your protectee just dropped off a letter for you and said your mother's in town?  Sheepish looking.  Already disappeared.  Yeah.  Thanks, sir."  He smiled as he hung up.  It had been cute.

***

Don hung up and moaned.  "My mother's in town and she never told us she was coming."  He got up to get the letter, coming back reading it.  He ran into Calleigh.  "Can you tell Danny my mom's in town?  Hand him this?"

"Sure."  She smiled at him. "Try to see her for lunch, Don."

"My mother's going to be fussing over Xander for hours yet.  I'll see her when I go home on time tonight."  That got a giggle and he got off the elevator at his floor.

She headed up to finish her trek back to the lab, handing Danny the letter. "Your mother- in-law is in town."

"Wonderful," he said dryly.  "Which one?"

"Don's.  Xander's mother is still alive?"

"Unless Ryan got her and didn't tell us, yeah."  He walked off to his work area reading the note.  Speed took it to look at.  "Xander babble."

"I can see that."  He handed it back with a smirk.  "We'll make sure Don gets home on time tonight."

"Thanks.  She'll pout and sigh otherwise.  She'll be fussing over Xander's weight for hours so at least we're clear on lunch."  That got a smile.  "She and Alexx would be scary together."

"Good thing they won't meet until tomorrow night, huh?"  That got a nod.

"Fed in the lab," Eric said from the doorway.

"Yay, even better news," Danny said grimly, gloving up to get back to work.

"What bad news did you get?" Eric asked.

"Don's mom is in town," Speed told him.

"She and Alexx won't meet until tomorrow during the housewarming.  It'll give her time to fuss over the rest of you too."  He walked on to finish his warning.

Danny opened his sample and got to work, shaking his head.  This was not going to go well.  At all.

***

Don walked in and smiled at his mother, kissing her on the cheek.  "Hi, Ma."  He grinned at Xander since he was in there.  "Danny's behind me somewhere.  Probably getting a beer before coming home.  They had a pop Federal inspection today."  Xander shuddered.  "Yeah, so not a happy Danny or anyone else.  Did you still need to shop for the open house tomorrow?"

"Nope, I was out doing that and making sure we didn't leave anything at the old house when I found your mother buzzing the gate."

"Sorry, Ma, kind of a sudden thing.  The security was bad there and Xander kept getting stolen plus we kept getting broken into."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "How was your trip?"

"Good.  A little bumpy but otherwise good."  She looked at him.  "Your father couldn't come down."  He shrugged and walked her off, letting Xander have his kitchen back since he was nibbling on his lower lip and wanting to clean up whatever type of mess his mother had created. "Don, I think it's time we talk about this situation you're in," she told him.

He walked her into the living room then sat across from her.  "Okay. What situation am I in?"

"You're living with two men, Don."

"I am.  They make me happy and I'm doing good helping Xander stay calm and unstolen."

"I see.  What about a proper marriage?"

He considered it then sighed. "Ma, with what I am, there's every reason and a lot of history saying that we're totally infertile.  Besides, I don't want to marry someone to have to break up with them in ten or fifteen years because I've got to change who I am."

She looked at him.  "Are you sure you're infertile?"

"Yeah, pretty muchly so.  All the rest of the guys are."  She sighed and leaned back.  "I'm sorry, Ma, but even without that point, not like I've found anyone I want to date in a while.  If I did, Xander's already told me to come to him and he'd let me.  I'd fall back to being his protector and she'd probably end up living here with us."

"Is that wise with his lifestyle?"

"Mother, I'm just like him only a lower level," he said firmly.

"Excuse me?" she demanded, glaring at him.  "Since when?"

"Since my rookie year when they found me," he admitted.  "They've recently upgraded me due to some hormone surges from a level three to a five but I've been one since my rookie year."

"I don't believe you."

He pulled out his wallet and put his membership card in front of her.  "Keeping him calm helps keep me calm and able to work too, Ma.  It's good all around.  If I found just one person I wanted to be with, I could, but I haven't found that one person yet.  If and when I do, Xander and I have already agreed that I'll be more than welcome to go to them and be with them.  It's not going to affect my job as a protector for him and we'll be more than able to live here if I wanted.  Besides, if I did move, we'd have to share custody of the dog."  She groaned and covered her face.  "This is why I didn't tell you earlier, Ma."

"Fine."  She looked at him.  "So you're one of them too.  What else does this mean?"

"My sweet tooth and bounciness that hit when I was about sixteen was from that," he noted dryly, making her sigh and shake her head. "It was. Didn't realize it then but it was."  He shrugged. "To me this is natural and how I was born, Ma.  Sorry but this is me."

"Will I never see you married?"

"If I find someone I like that way, yeah.  If not, then probably not.  I'm not going to force myself into a marriage with someone I don't like and respect.  I'm not that sorta guy."  He got comfortable and looked at the ferrets.  "Are you two pretending to be asleep?"  George lifted his head so he got him out to look at his stitches. "Hey, they're gone.  Did the vet love you today too?" he cooed, bringing him down to pet, leaving the other door open.  Beauty would let him know if she wanted down.  Or she'd appear in his lap.

"What is that?"

"One of Xander's ferrets.  The last attack had someone cutting him and breaking the dog's front legs.  Xander, where's Spot?"

"Napping on the bed."  He leaned in. "The vet took new x-rays. They're healing well.  George got all but one stitch removed.  He couldn't get that stitch because it was still a bit sore and George kept trying to bite him.  I pulled it earlier.  Let me go get Spot.  He had a tranquilizer for the x-rays."  He went to get the dog and carry him out so he wouldn't have to hobble again, letting him use the outside first.  "Daddy's home," he cooed while he carried him into the living room.  "There we are, one dalmatian."  He grinned and went back to the kitchen, washing his hands of course.  He found Danny sniffing pots.  "The cabbage was her idea."

"It's done too."  He drained it off and put butter into it, putting the pot onto the back of the stove.  "How's everyone?"

"The stitches came out of George and Spot had to be tranq'd to take new x-rays. He's in with Don and George is down."

"Sure."  He stole a kiss and smiled.  "Were you good today?"

"Nope."  He smiled proudly.  "We forgot some stuff, like the study."

"Crap."

"So I called the movers you guys used and pointed out they had forgotten stuff.  I'm meeting them early tomorrow morning to go get it.  Now, go clean up and change if you want."  He went back to checking on the meat and then the other things he was doing.  Danny smiled and walked off, making Xander sigh.  He knew something was going to change.  Mother's usually made things change just when you got it where you wanted it.  Don came in and he got a kiss on the back of the neck from him and the ferret in his hands.  "Hi."

"Hi.  Nothing's going on," he promised.  "Relax.  Calm down.  Did Ma make cabbage?"  He nodded.  "Okay."  He added more butter to the pot then got their sodas, heading back out there.  "Cabbage is done and it looks like the rest of dinner will be soon too."  He handed her hers and George gave him a look when the cold can hit his side. "Sorry, baby."  He checked before he sat down, then flopped down.  Beauty scurried over his shoulder, nipping him on the ear.  "Hey, Beauty."  His mother shook her head. "We like the animals, Ma." He looked over at Spot.  "Poor guy."  The dog barked at him then went back to watching the birds that liked to congregate on the lawn. It was cute.  "He'll be chasing them soon."  Danny walked in.  "Hey."

"Hey.  We forgot things at the old house?"

"I was wondering where the study went."  Danny moaned. "I'm sure he's handling it."  Danny nodded.  "Good.  Ma, you remember Danny, right?"

"I do.  Mr. Messer."

"Hi, Mrs. Flack."  He shook her hand and sat down to take Beauty.  "Hey, princess, did you nap all day or did the daddy play you two ta death again?"  George squeaked so he looked down and petted im too.  "Hey, George. Good job on getting the stitches removed."   The ferrets crawled all over him until Xander came out with plates.  "I would've helped," he offered, putting them down between him and Don. He took his and Don's, then Xander went to get his and Mrs. Flack's plates.  Xander sat down in his chair and Spots came over to beg.  "You're going to ruin his training."

"He only wants to sniff, Danny."  He let him sniff and the dog wrinkled his nose, going back to his bird watching.

"I've still got to learn his commands," Don offered.

"Standard police ones," Xander said happily.  "He's a good boy."  Spots looked and barked, his tail wagging. "Yes, you, you're a good boy."  The dog started to bark and he sighed.  "Sounds like the bird watcher's back."

Danny got up with his plate, opening the door.  "Whoever you are, it's dinner time, go the fuck away."   He saw someone in the bushes.  "Either go away or I'm arresting you."  He walked inside and put down his plate then went to get Don's cuffs, going out to pounce the guy.  "Hi."  He slammed him down and cuffed.  "Warned you."  He called the neighborhood patrol guys and they came to get him.  "You guys know him?  Xander said something about a bird watcher?"

"He was earlier.  He likes to watch the birds during his lunch hour," the guy driving said with a smile.  "This isn't him."

"That one's a harmless old coot but he'll complain if your dog runs all the birds off."

"The dog'll get bored with the birds soon," he promised.  That got a smile.  "It's like tv, he's bored with his casts."  He handed him over.  "Let's see who this one is."

"Oh, we know him. He's a reporter," the driver offered, handing over his wallet.

Danny nodded, then shrugged.  "Okay, have the boys arrest him.  Not like Xander's newsworthy or somethin'."  He tossed it back.  "Thanks, boys."

"Welcome, Mr. Messer, sir."  They walked their suspect back to the car and let Danny get the dog inside.  They did like having them there, they were polite and reasonable.

Danny carried the dog back inside once he had finished marking the bushes, then put him back in his favorite seat.  "Sit."  He went back to his dinner.  "Reporter.  Had him arrested."

"Good," Don agreed.  "We need to put up a 'you trespass, you get shot' warning statement."  He ate another bite of the cabbage, looking at Xander.  "What?"

"Thinking."  He ate some more.  "So, how's New York?"

"It's doing very well, Xander.  Are you going to let them visit?"

"It's not like I keep them in slavery.  They can visit wherever they want to.  They've even got some help down here in case someone else steals me while they're gone."  He stuffed his mouth again.  "Speaking of," he said when he swallowed, "Ryan's stable is getting sprayed tomorrow and he's got to work so they're moving his horse here for the next two days.  It'll be in the back yard.  With the trees."

"Need me to move the bike?" Don asked.

Xander shook his head.  "I shouldn't.  It's not supposed to rain."  He saw the confused look.  "She's allergic to the pesticides they use.  Last month they put down some hay for bedding that had some on it and she swelled up like a balloon.  So it's easier to move her here for a day or so and then bring her back."

"Interesting.  How does an officer get a horse?"

"He was taken with me and it was given to him," Xander said with a small shrug.  "They decided he was my bodyguard."  He stuffed his mouth again.

"Don, does this stuff happen to you?" she asked, looking at her son.

"No, Ma, mostly only at the higher levels."  She smiled at that.  "Besides, all my hormones are worn out dealing with Xander's so I don't broadcast the way he does."

"Good thing too or I'd be insane and we'd have to live with Ryan all the time," Danny joked.

"Hey, I like Ryan," Xander defended.  "That's why I gave him the balcony upstairs, so he can move in whenever Eric pisses him off again. That way he can shove Eric or Aiden off it the next time."  They all laughed. "I do."

"I don't mind Ryan coming and staying most of the time.  It's nice, the house is cleaned," Danny teased.

"Oh, that's the other thing I did. I found a housekeeper.  I asked for an older lady who wouldn't want to kidnap me.  Explained the problem.  They said they'd send someone over tomorrow."

"Good," Don agreed.  "I can't see how you'd clean this place since you didn't quite manage to do the laundry today."

"I was busy!" he defended.

"We'll do some tomorrow.  Not like it's hurtin'," Danny pointed out.  "All our friends will accept some dirty laundry tomorrow anyway."

"Not like there's a reason to be in the bedroom," Xander agreed.  That got some smiles.  And a furry helper crawling up his leg.  "Hey, George."  He petted him with one hand while he ate with the other.  "Did you have a good day after we got home?"  The ferret curled up on the bottom of his braid.  "I know, you had a long day.  It's time for snuggles and you've always gotten first hair rights."  He scratched him gently then decided he was done eating so he put his plate down so he could check his side over.  Then he undid his hair and let his baby sleep in it for a while.  "You can barely feel the scar so we shouldn't have to worry when we brush him," he told Danny.  Who smiled at him.

"Xander, when were you going to cut your hair?" Mrs. Flack asked.

"I don't know.  Fifty, a hundred years maybe?  I like my hair and others like my hair."

"It's not exactly what most men would wear, dear," she noted.

"Ma, I like his hair, jump off it," Don said firmly.

"Yeah, Xander's not the typical guy considering he came home from his last kidnaping saying he was queen of the amazons," Danny agreed, stuffing his mouth so he wouldn't laugh at her look.  "See your mom?" he asked.

"No.  I don't think Ryan cut off her head," he said, looking confused.  "Why would he have?  We saw Joyce."

"Heard about that," Don assured him.  "She'll figure it out sooner or later.  Some parents can live in denial."  Xander nodded that she had in the past.  "Are we cooking for the open house tonight?"

"Nope.  I've had a long day at the vet's so I'm going to be a lazy bitch tonight.  Most everything only needs to be warmed up.  The few things I'm actually cooking only take a few hours."  George shifted.  "They won't like it since they'll have to be in the cage the whole time but we'll be fine."

"You can't seriously let them run around the house," Mrs. Flack protested.   They all nodded. "But they'll get into things."

"They're ferrets, of course they do," Xander said, not looking like he understood what her point was.  "We'll have them up tomorrow during the party so they can't sneak home with Horatio again and then into the labs."

"Or Natalia.  They seem to like her and her cracker habit," Danny reminded him.

"True.  How many crackers did you guys find spread around while they were loose?"

"Four or five, that's how we knew they were loose in the lab but couldn't figure out where they were," Danny admitted.  "Took us two days too.  Night shift never saw anything, even with the warning that they had escaped and were hiding in someone's drawers eating their crackers."

"The feds probably weren't amused," Don offered.

Danny snorted.  "No, not in the least, but we did tell them it was a test to see if anyone could spot irregularities in the lab and if we had another rodent that could nibble on evidence.  We also pointed out ferrets are mostly clean creatures.  He checked everywhere for cracker crumbs.   Mostly found stuff in night shift and Natalia's desk, her one for reports.  Oh, Frank and Ray both found some in their desks too, so they got around some."

"I thought it was only a day," Xander said.  Danny shook his head.  "Two whole day?"

"Two whole days and they decided the litterbox was in the shift supervisor's shoes inside his desk.  He was not amused," he said dryly. "He came back after a few days off and was very not amused when he slid into them this morning."  Xander winced at that.  "He's fine now.  We bought him a new pair and apologized meaninglessly.  He huffed off to chew rookie patrol guys a new one for no reason."  Xander grinned at that and blew a kiss.

"We also heard that the used the plants by reception," Don reminded him.  "They think they were in the elevator with people and they never noticed George."  That got a smile.  "He came storming down to our area and demanded to see the security footage. We showed him and I'm thinking that security was going to get nibbled too."  Xander grinned at that.  "They didn't plan for ferrets and they should've planned for mice or rats.  We used to."

"We used ta have a monthly rat spot check," Danny agreed.  "We all cleaned our desks and our lockers to see if any rats or anything had left little presents for us.  The one time they did I swear Mac growled enough that the rats got scared and left."  Don snickered at that.  "He did!  Swear to God, Don!  Growled at everyone until they caught the poor escaped lab mice from the other lab.  Growled at them too.  If we had rats, they headed to your side to get away from him before he ate them."

"I remember hearing Squeaky now and then. He would run when Mac came over," Xander offered.

"You named the precinct rat?" Don asked.  Xander nodded. "We needed ta get you pets sooner, Xander."  Xander beamed and nodded.

"At least he didn't try ta bring him home," Danny offered.

"I did try, he escaped again and someone stomped on his head.  Donny and the desk sergeant both gave me this horrified and dirty look for having had the rat in my hands.  Donny drug me off and into the bathroom."

"He should've," Don agreed firmly. "How is he?"

"Better.  He's set his sights higher, on Monroe.  He thinks she's sweet."

"She's the sorta sweet that causes the toothache," Danny told him.  Xander shrugged a bit.  "We should go scare the piss outta the newbies."

"Stella finally got through to the new one.  The one everyone thought looked like Ares in a really short skirt?  Strife took one of the gift cards from the drawer and handed it to her because there was some gross things one day."  They all laughed.  "Sorry, friends in the New York lab," he offered with a small grin.  He looked out and smiled. "Sheldon's here! I don't know why but he is."  He bounded out to greet and hug him. "Why are you here?"

"I got sent down for a rest.  They're going to drive me nuts.  I can stay at a hotel if you want."

Xander snorted. "Get your ass inside."  Sheldon smiled and headed in.  "Up to the top of the stairs and last door on the right, Sheldon."  That got a smile and a nod.  "Guys, look who got driven insane this time."

"Hey, Doc," Danny said with a grin. "Monroe, Hirsute Woman, or otherwise?"

"Monroe and Hirsute Woman together with me on a case," he groaned as he sat down.  He was pounced and looked.  "Hi.  I've heard about you, Beauty.  Stella said you loved her hair."  He stroked her back gently, watching as she sniffed his belt then ran off to play with Don some more. "Sure.  Where's the other one?"  Xander pointed at the mess in his hair.  "Ah."  He nodded at that, smiling some.  "Well, it's better than it could be."  He punched Danny on the arm.  "Please come back?  Pretty please?  I'll beg."

"You could tell Mac you're talking to Horatio," Don offered.

"He told me if I did he'd beat me then make me work cases with Donna."

"I thought she was an Elizabeth," Don said, looking confused.

"She's going by her middle name since the new morgue assistant's name is Elizabeth too and she didn't want any confusion," Sheldon said, giving him a look.  Don snorted.  "The day Stella fixed her, she wasn't wearing panties, or if she was, the hair was hanging out of it and out of the bottom of her skirt, and she kept bending over for things."  He shuddered.  "Stella prayed really hard for that gift card so thank you, Xander."  He shrugged and got the ferret free.  "This woman looks just like Ares from that show cross-dressing as a woman."  Xander cracked a smile at that.  "Only wearing Aphrodite's clothes, and sometimes she dresses like Artemis in the leopard and lion prints."  Xander cackled at that.  "That's why she borrowed it."

"I'm not upset with it.  I was told it was necessary, that's all I needed to know and that's more than necessary," he agreed happily.  Danny suddenly shuddered, then Don popped him on the head.  "Good for you?"

"Been wanting to do that all day since he tried ta give me a wedgie in the elevator this morning," Don agreed.

"You said you were in too good of a mood to scare suspects," Danny defended.  Then he had to get up and run for his life from Don.

Sheldon looked down at the returning furry thing. "Hi again.  They'll be back soon."

"If you kill him you've got to find Horatio a replacement and me once I quit pouting at you!" Xander called.

"Please don't pout," Sheldon said.  "I don't make a good enough salary to defeat it by giving you good presents."  Xander gave him a look.   "I don't."

"I wouldn't make you."  Danny ran back in.  "He'll pout at all of us if you die."

"Not planning on it," he panted.

Xander took the direct route, pulling Don down to kiss when he came in with a wooden spoon, making him go gooey minded again. Then he smiled.  "Don't make me pout by killing Danny, Don.   After I was done you'd have to replace him in the lab and at home."  Don shuddered and nodded, stealing another one before moving to swat Danny with the spoon.  "That's hot," he offered.  Danny gave him a horrified look and went to hide better this time so he couldn't be spanked.  Don just smirked and let the ferret have the spoon for a bit.  George came over to investigate it and Sheldon too.

Sheldon smiled. "It's okay, we know you warped the daddy, not the other way around."  Don snickered at that and punched him on the shoulder. "I'm surprised the dog and ferrets don't have clothes on."

"Not allowed," Don assured him.  Xander looked at him.  "No."

"Not even just for the party?"

"No clothes for the animals."  Xander pouted mildly.  "Did you honestly buy them clothes?"  Xander nodded, getting up to take Beauty and get her dressed.  She came out in the pretty pale blue 'harem girl' outfit and Don had to take a picture of that.  She even settled down in it.  He got George and Spot dressed too, even a veil on Spot's head.

Don's mother laughed at that, but she left it alone. Her son could fight that problem without her help.  Danny came out to show her up to a room and then had to wade in to help Don.  It was just wrong to see a dog in a belly dancer's outfit.  Even if the dog didn't seem to mind.

***

"There's the little creatures who got us a six-month review," Natalia said, smiling at the ferrets in their cute costumes.  "Did the daddy dress you up?"

"Well, it'll be easier to see 'em when they run down the halls," Ryan offered with a grin for Xander. "Spot's not in his?"

"Danny and Don said he couldn't so I had to put on the other one.  He's in the living room at the moment avoiding them."  Ryan bounced that way, going to find them staring at the dog dressed in a Sheik's robe.  Ryan burst out laughing and Xander beamed. "I let the animals have fun for the party too since these two need to go back into their cages."

"Let me," Horatio offered, walking them that way.  Eric looked at them and undressed them, then went to get the dog free, weathering the growls.  "Are you feeling naked?" he asked the dog, petting him on the ears.  He got a groan and the dog tipped his head for more.  "You and your daddy both do that," he teased, sitting down to play with him for a minute.  Then the dog hobbled off to show his daddies his new outfit since Eric couldn't get him out of it without being bitten.  "They'll do it, Eric."

"Good!  That's just wrong!"  He sat down, then looked at him. "Is Ray Junior coming?"  Horatio smiled and nodded. "Is he over his desire to be Xander?"

"Mostly.  He's still teasing her about it."

"What about the classmate Xander said he had?"

"She is," he sighed.  "I've had Ray point her out to Adam, who got into trouble for watching her.  He talked with her mother and she sighed and got her straightened out again.  She's looking fairly high, maybe a seven or so."  He smiled at Speed when he came in.  "We got the ferrets out of their party outfits."

"Good.  Don's working on Spot's."  He sat down next to him, giving him a hug.  "It'll be fine."

"I know it will be.  Sheldon."  He smiled and shook his hand. "Mac warned me not to tempt you to move down here."

"He would bite me," he agreed happily. "But maybe I'll get a raise out of it if I ask."

"Could be.  You know, we do pay more down here."

"Plus, all the bikinis you can scope and a lot of pretty women," Eric offered.

"Don't tell my mother that, she'll pack me up before I can go back."  They laughed at that. "She wants grandchildren to turn into real doctors as she put it."  He sat down and saw the pitiful looks.  "You two can get out later.  When there's no chance of going home with Horatio again.  Your daddy said so."  He looked at Horatio.  "It's tempting, Horatio, especially since the mayor's making threats about closing one of the labs. If he guts ours, I'm here."

"I'll save a spot for you," Horatio promised.

"But, you guys are tops in the city," Eric complained.  "He can't do that."

"That means we've also got the highest salaries and the highest case ratio, Eric.  Mac's fighting hard but he's only looking at it fiscally."

"If that happens, have him let me know immediately," Horatio offered. "Between myself and Grissom, we might be able to absorb most of you."  He looked around.  "I did get told we were going to split off another unit."  That got a smile.  "You might have to go back into the morgue for a while."

"If that's what it takes," he said with a shrug. That got a smile and Horatio got up to call Mac.  Xander walked past him and handed him a phone.

"Use our dime.  It's not like I can't afford it, Horatio.  It'll be better than the cellphone.  Call your boss first.  Before he can make any rash moves."

"Good idea."  He went to do that from the study, finding it there finally and together. "Chief, Horatio Caine.  Well, yes there is a small issue.  New York is threatening to cut a lab.  You were talking about splitting one of ours off in six months."  He smiled.  "I can work with Taylor's team.  They're mostly very nice.  They're all well trained. True."  He smiled.  "They're right behind us in the lab statistics.  So it's a trade off with the higher salaries of already trained techs, versus less time training.  We can send them out without stretching my people further or Jesslyn in non-felony's lab staff further to train. He might. I know he's fighting hard.  I can give you his number, Chief.  It's on my cell. I just heard and was about to call him.  He's fighting but their mayor is going on purely financial reasons."  He smiled.

"It would be a coup and hopefully Grissom could use whoever we can't.  A full lab, yes, sir.  Possibly only a shift.  I just heard from Sheldon Hawkes, who's down on a short vacation for the house warming party tonight.  Xander's.  Yes, sir, that's where I'm calling from.  Talk to him, think about the budget, and see, sir.  Of course. Thank you.  Plus they may be able to bring other detectives.  If not, perhaps Ray and Don could move to their shift, Danny might move back as well."  He smiled.  "They did come from there.  Thank you, sir."  He hung up and called Mac.  "Fax me a staff list, a salary list, and who you wanted to bring with you.  Yes, Mac, but we're talking about splitting off another felony lab."  He smirked.  "You'd have to work under me for a few months while it was finished off...."  He smirked more evilly. "It would.  It's also quieter down here, Mac.  I'm sure.  My boss wants that first.  Sheldon, you, Stella, the lab techs.  I'm at Xander's actually.  Is the fax number here the same?" he called.

"Yes," Don called back, leaning in.  "If they do, I'll go back to being their detective, Horatio."

"That's what I'd expect, Don, and to let Danny go back to them too if they wanted."  He smiled.  "We do.  We have a Detective Kowalski from Chicago that just transferred in as well.  We could share, Mac.  Honestly.  Plus if you were down here in April, we could all go to the convention with Xander."  He smiled.  "No, I meant all of us on shift who need to go with him, Mac.  I'd never make you go to the GHS convention."  He laughed at the noises he was making.  "Of course.  Send it to me tonight if you can.  Thank you."  He hung up and went to talk to his people.  "People," he said, raising his hands.  Everyone stared at him and he smiled, putting his hands back down.  "New York is having a moment of terminal stupidity and wanting to close Mac Taylor's lab for financial reasons."  Calleigh moaned. "Our bosses are thinking about splitting off a new felony lab.  I know this means that some of you won't get the leadership you wanted this time, but do we have any real complaints?"

"Horatio, if I wanted leadership, I'd stab you and take over," Calleigh assured him. "Since I haven't yet, you're safe."  He smiled at that.  "Think we can get most of them?"

"I do hope so.  If not, Grissom probably could."

"We could use some new blood and a new trainee," Eric reminded him.  "You did get approved for a new level one."

"We did, and no one's applied yet."  He shrugged. "I've sent a letter to Grissom and he's asking any of his people if they wanted to go."  That got some smiles. "No objections?"

"Hell no.  I'm next up for lab lead spot and I'd never get done with the paperwork," Speed reminded him.

"Plus, they'd probably be down here in time for the convention so we wouldn't be short- handed," Ryan agreed.  That got some smiles for that idea as well.  "Bring 'em on, Horatio.  Just please leave Hirsute Woman and Montana up there."

"I'll try," he promised.

"Lindsey could be a very good tech," Calleigh defended.

"Yeah, if she got used to having things that weren't at home," Danny said dryly.  "I can see her first day on the beach.  'Man, we really don't have those in Montana' at the sight of her first pair of really bad fake boobs."  Don snickered at that.  "Plus she and Hirsute Woman are getting together.  It'd be mean to get one and not the other one.  Since she's screwed up worse than I *ever* could?"  He shook his head.  "Mac was wanting me to come up and kick her ass once last week."

"She's a bit unpredictable," Sheldon agreed.  "Some days she's on, some days she's far off in the stratosphere.  No connection to earth anymore.  And no, before anyone asks, she's not got a hedonistic bone in her body.  The woman hates chocolate, called it a work of Satan a few times.  Plus, she *really* needs to shave and wear underwear more often.  I found one of her pubic hairs at a scene the other day."  They all shuddered at that.  "I told Mac and then he sent me down here."

"Sounds like someone's mother needed a firmer hand on the hairbrush," Mrs. Flack said.

"Yeah, could've helped," Sheldon agreed. "You just have to experience her, really."  They all smiled at that.  "We gave her a month, guys.  Really.  We thought she'd straighten out, see that her clothes weren't appropriate.  Stella even worked on that point.  Yet she still comes in wearing clothes that would make a porn star blush. All without shaving *anything*."   Eric shuddered at that.

"Like I said, Sheldon.  We pay more and you're more than welcome down here," Horatio said, patting him on the back.

"Someone come help me carry or you don't get to eat!" Xander yelled.

"Now I know we're family," Valera teased Danny, going to help Xander.  She started by taking the dog outside and letting him sit with them in the lounging area Xander had put up out under some trees.  The dog barked and hobbled after some birds but they moved a few feet away and went back to pecking the ground.

"Don't worry, Spot, you'll get one soon," Don called.  He went in to help carry too, getting a smile and a kiss along with a tray and a platter.

"Xander, just because you can cook for an army doesn't mean you should," Natalia pointed out when she carried more things out.

"Whatever isn't eaten tonight is either lunch tomorrow or going to a shelter to feed others.  Quit nagging."  He took the last few things out of the refrigerator and took them with him, making everyone smile at the sodas, water, and lemonade he had.  Don grabbed the lemonade, Valera got the sodas out of his bent arms, and Horatio took the water from him.  "Did I forget anything?"

"Glasses but I've got 'em," Danny promised, going to do that.  He heard stuff coming off the fax machine and went to gather it up, going to hand it to Horatio.  "Here, I think this is yours."

"Toxic death to cops," Horatio read.  "Interesting."  He made a call but still filled his plate.  If they needed to, they could investigate it.  If not, someone needed to have the warning.  "Mitchels, Caine.  Mr. Harris just got a faxed threat.  Yes, one of those. Do we know who?"  He smiled.  "As long as it's handled.  Thank you."  He hung up and balled it up for Spot to chase.  "An officer's ten-year-old son because his mother's never home."  He looked at the other figures.  "You weren't kidding, we do pay better," Horatio told Danny.

"Yeah, a lot better."  He passed down food to one of the techs.  "Here ya go.  Xander?"  He came out with the playpen and put the ferrets, back in their cute outfits, in under it, then he sat down.  "Did you have to dress them up?"

"They like them. It gives them a mental challenge on how to get out of them."

"They got enough of a challenge from avoiding detection in the lab for two days," Alexx assured him as she came over.  "Sorry I'm a bit late.  Had to stop and pick up the younger babies."  She kissed Speed on the head, then Ryan, then Xander.  "Sit, dear, let me get plates."

"Right over the sink and if there's not enough because I miscounted, the older ones are under the sink at the moment."  She smiled and went to do that, coming out with stuff for everyone.  Don got up and pulled his mother out of the way and moved the kid's picnic table over for the two younger ones, and Ray Jr. since his mother gave him a look until he sighed and moved.  Xander grinned at his trouble buddy.  "Has your mother reminded you why turning into me is a bad thing?"

"Yup, mostly with the cultists who wanted to kill you and the people who believe you're only a sex toy."  Xander beamed.  "I'll try to stay in school more often so I don't turn into someone's sex toy, Xander."

"Good boy, Ray.  Then, if you can stay in for two weeks in a row, then maybe your mom'll let you help me pick up someone's birthday stuff?"

"Sure," he agreed happily.

"We are *not* doing a party for my birthday," Horatio said firmly.

"Mine's in four weeks," Don told him.

"Mine's in two but I only expect flowers since I'm not high on the spoiling list," Valera said with a grin at Xander, who nodded.  "So, Don's or Horatio's?"

"Don refused to tell me when his was and I had to help other people get Horatio's because it was so heavy."

"Really?" Horatio asked Speed.  "What am I getting?"

"I haven't decided yet."  He pointed at Yelina, who nodded.

"What am I getting?  So I know which room to make room in?"

"The living room, Horatio.  I'd only ever get you anything for in there or the kitchen.  All other rooms are too personal."  She looked at her son.  "No blabbing either."

"Of course not. I want to see his face when he gets it."  He ate a bite and looked at Xander, who just shrugged. "Is yours going to be heavy?"

"I hope not.  Though, if no one else wants cake privileges I'm either buying or baking my first fancy one."

"Bake away," Speed assured him happily. "I'll help you."  Xander beamed. "I can definitely tell what you cooked and what you bought tonight.  Bit too peppery in the eggs, Xander."

"Oops, sorry. Didn't mix it well enough?"

"Probably over measured or had some fall off the measuring spoon, I do that," Natalia admitted.

"My mother too," Eric sighed. "Speaking of, my mother has decided I'm making you up so she's going to make me bring her some day to pounce you guys."  They all shrugged.  "Sure.  Horatio, helper."

He looked down at George.  "You escape very well, George."  He stroked him and smiled.  "That's a good job.  We'll have to make sure we don't lose you and you're back in your home before we go home."  The ferret wiggled up his jacket sleeve, making him laugh when he came out on his collar, then went down his shirt.

Speed looked then smirked. "Now you know why West wiggled like she hadn't gotten any in years."  Alexx swatted him.  "She did!"  He looked around, spotting the blue and white lump further off in the grass.  "Beauty, wanna cuddle?" he called, putting down his hand and wiggling his fingers.  She came running and he let her into his lap. "Poor girl but it does make it easier to find you."

"I was wondering if we were all supposed to be wearing costumes," Alexx offered, looking at the ferret.  "So we meet again, cookie thief."  The ferret walked over and nipped her hand then crawled up to nibble on her hair.  "Uh-huh.   You're affectionate.  The boy must  love you when you nest in his hair."  Xander nodded.  She pulled the ferret down with Ryan's help and let him have her.

"Come on, Beauty, we'll eat.  Want some broccoli to try?"  He put down a small piece in front of her and got back to eating.   Spot barked and growled so they all looked.

Horatio coughed.  "Do we know you?"

"He's mine!" he shouted, pointing at the end of the table that held Don, Horatio, and Xander.  "I want him, now!"  He pulled a gun.

"Which one of us?" Don asked.  "You've got to be a bit more specific, and if you wave that gun again in front of the kids I'm gonna kick your ass."  He looked heartbroken.  "You came after me?"  The man nodded.  "Why?"

"Because you're such a good cop and you deserve the love of the people."  He came around and knelt beside him.  "I can take you away from this palace of porn they have you trapped in and let you live in a real home with real love, Don.  Please let me love you."

Don stroked over his head.  "I don't even know you.  I require lots and lots of dating before then and since you brandished a weapon and threatened police officers it might be a while before you can do that."  He gave him the pitiful puppy look. "I know it sucks but you did do those things and you have to own up to them.  I could never be with a bad guy."

"I'll reform myself in prison," he vowed, giving him the most adoring look.  Just like the dog had when he had adopted him.  "I'll be worthy of you, Don.  I promise I will."  He got up and looked at Horatio.  "Can you arrest me?"

"I can have you arrested."  He called the station.  "It's Caine.  Can you send someone to Mr. Harris' new house?  There, yes.  No, someone has come up to confess his undying love...  No, different target this time, but Detective Flack has pointed out that the person in question could never be with someone who brandished a weapon, Jessup.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "He'll be right here.  Sit."  He sat beside Don and Xander gave him a piece of friend chicken.  Horatio gave him a funny look.

"He can't use the gun if he's eating."

"True," Don agreed.  "Thank you for going logical in that situation, Xander.  It was better than your reasons why *you* should be queen of the amazons on that Xena show."  Xander pouted.  "By your reasons, anyone would've been better.  You didn't prove why you."

"Because I'm good with a sword, I'm pretty good at planning minor things - which is all they need except for wars, and I can handle battles.  I look better in leather than half the cast did.  Plus we found out my mother's a gun toting bitch of a woman.  She was clearly one of them in her youth before she started to drink."  Horatio choked at that. "Plus in me they'd get that element of softness with enough hardness to make things happen for them.  We could expand, make new tribes, go steal men from other villages.  Some for me and some for them...."  Don covered his mouth.

"The fact that he thought that out on the way back from Vegas, that should scare you," Ryan offered, smirking at them. "It was something he and Jace thought up."

"Yes, I already complained," Adam assured them all.

"Jace said I could be the child that got revenge on Jett for him bugging Joxer," he said proudly.  Adam coughed and spluttered, then drank his mate's drink, making him look at him.

Ray shook his head.  "I thought it was only you and Oz that went strange around Jace."  He took his drink back and refilled it.  "I can see you being Jett's geekier son," he offered with a grin.  "Your thing for leather.  How you handle a sword, but just geeky and strange enough to make him walk off muttering to the Gods about how this had to be a punishment and couldn't he kill someone for them to get out of it."  Xander beamed proudly at that.  Adam looked at his mate.  "What? I watched the show.  It was on when I got home most nights.  The women's channel was good for that."

"We'll be talking later about myths and realities, Raymond," he said firmly.

"Sure, are you going to lecture me in Greek again?"

"I may," he assured him. "Eat."  Ray smiled and dug in.

"You and Stella will love each other," Danny assured Adam.  "She's new world Greek and she swears at us in Greek now and then in the labs."  Adam smiled at that.  "Haven't you met Stella?"

"Once now.  She was a charming young woman.  Very strong."  He patted Ray on the back. "I'm sure he'll get along just fine with her."

"Can't be worse than my Stella was," Ray agreed.  Then he stuffed his mouth again. "Oh, any mention of a crossover case and a DA Kowalski, it's my ex.  Expect to me either stand and stare or run."  He looked around. "Where's Frank?"

"His mother-in-law is ill so he's with his wife at her side," Horatio offered.  "I'll let you hide in my office closet, Ray."  He grinned at that. "Many of us have past relationships like that."

Everyone looked at Xander.  "What?  Just because I dated a vengeance demon?  She was human at the time."  He shrugged and ate a bite.  Their suspect tugged on his pantsleg.  He looked down at him.  "What?"

"Demons aren't real."   Xander concentrated and one popped up beside him.  "Never mind," he said weakly.  The imp disappeared.  He looked at Don.  "Please can't I take you away now?"

"No, they'd never let me bunk with you in prison."  The man sighed.  "Soon.  You'll get right in prison and then we'll see, okay?"  The man smiled and nodded. The cop car and the neighborhood watch guys came up and parked by the garage, getting a wave.  "Come here.  He's agreed he needs to get right in prison."

"Sure, Detective," Officer Jessup, one of the guys they worked with often, agreed as he came over.  "Now, which one of them did you want?"  He pointed at Don.  "He's a fine man and a great officer.  I hope I can be a detective like him too.  Doesn't mean you should point guns anywhere near Alexx's kids, sir.  She might've smacked you around."  He handed it over.  "Thank you.  Now, let's go.  You can finish your chicken in the car as long as you're peaceful."  He nodded and Don helped him up, getting a smile.  "Say you're sorry."

"I'm sorry if I scared any of you."  He walked off after him, earning a smiling officer.

The neighborhood watch guys looked at Xander.  "We'll do more patrols by your house; you're like Marianna, right?"  He nodded.  "Did you tell the head people?  They should've told us."

"I did," Danny agreed. "He was coming home from being kidnaped to LA."

"I'm so sorry, sir.  We'll do more patrols by your house.  Remember, you can call on us instead if you need to."  He walked back to his car, going to call his boss and ask why he hadn't been told there was a new GHS member in their community.

Xander beamed at Don.  "See, and you get nice people who want you."  He swatted him on the arm.  "Better than some of mine."

"True, but being thought of as your harem is kinda cute now and then," Calleigh offered. She looked up.  "No more of them?"

"Don't encourage it," Ryan said firmly.  "Them arranging things with the banks and everything showed that they might need money.  I don't need more presents to convince Xander of their worth.  I had enough of a time explaining why I had gold dust."

"Sometimes you've got to lie better," Eric assured him, patting him on the back.  "Alexx, are you all right?"

"Just fine," she agreed, sipping her water.  "Does Xander get those?"

"Not usually as polite," Danny offered. "His usually start off with presents and then taking him to make their offers in person."  He yelped when something soft hit the back of his neck and slithered. "That had better not be a snake!" he said, getting up to take off his shirt and shake it out.   "What is that?"

"Well...it's snake jewelry, that moves," Calleigh offered, getting away from it.

Xander looked up. "If you're a snake, we're not physically compatible and you wouldn't cuddle.  Fat chance."  The snake disappeared.  "Thank you."  He sipped his lemonade and looked at Horatio.  "Has anyone else come for you recently?"

"No, surprisingly enough.  Then again I'm not as young as you two are."

Speed patted him on the back.  "I'm still sending back presents after your back got hurt from your admiration society.  Shut up about being old, Horatio.  Before I have to spank or something."  Horatio blushed and nodded.  "Thank you."

"You two are so cute," Valera teased.

"Until they have the next fight at three in the morning," Alexx said dryly, looking at her adopted son.  "Or will it not come wake me up this time?"

"Nope, we'll come wake Xander up," Speed assured her.  "We've got a room we can borrow here."  She smiled at that. "It's even got a good bed for when his back starts to ache."  Horatio nodded at that and stuffed his mouth more full.  He looked down at the staring male techs.  "Say one word at the office and I will personally make your lives a living hell."

Cooper swallowed his current mouthful of potatoes.  "How long have you guys been together?"

"Six years," Horatio told him.

"Some CSI some of us are," Cooper sighed, shaking his head.

"Took me nearly ten months to decide they were together," Calleigh offered.  He stared at her.  "Eric?"

"Almost a year.  Right after that one kidnaping attempt. Then again...."

"That was work related," Horatio assured him.

"Good.  We'd rather have work related.  It's easier to find you."  He looked at Yelina.  "When did you know?"

"I hate to say this but just recently.  My son apparently knew for the past four years."  Ray shrugged at that. "When did Frank know?"

"I'm not sure.  He's always been very discreet about it," Horatio admitted.  "This changes nothing at work, ladies and gentlemen."  They all nodded at that.

Valera coughed.  "Horatio, your blinds are screwed up again," she offered.  "I noticed the night shift person had them screwed up when I came in early this morning.  She had them closed."  He nodded at that. "She didn't have the curtain pulled either.  I could tell and hear what she was doing up there.  So you might want some lysol in the morning."

"Her husband is being deployed," Speed told her.  "I'll make sure he's got some in the morning and show her those tonight."  She smiled at that.  "You can hear...."  She nodded quickly.  "I'll keep that in mind."

"Doesn't bother me.  There's no padding under your carpet so whenever you guys go in there to talk about important relationship stuff, it's a nice thing."  She looked at Horatio. "Take the ring."  He blushed at that.  "It's a sweet thing and look how hard he had to force himself to go get it for you."  He nodded.

"Thanks, Valera.  We'll be fixing that."

"It's good that you guys can talk about those things.  That's the way relationships should be.  It gives me hope I might one day find a worthy man and date him."

"You can have my son," Mrs. Flack offered.

She looked at her.  "I can't keep up with your son, ma'am.  He's about as hyper as the dog whenever he doesn't have casts on."  Ray cackled at that.  "Or him.  They both run me ragged."  She leaned back and looked at Danny.  "You're adorable but you'd end up breaking my heart."  She grinned and he laughed, nodding.  "Good.  Now that that's settled, I do take names and blind dates."

"I'll get to work with my sisters," Eric assured her.  She smiled at him.

Ryan grinned at him. "You let your sisters date?  I thought you were keeping them from that."

"I try but now and then Momma starts to wail about them being unmarried," he joked back, giving him a dry look. "You're getting it later."  Ryan just smirked.  "Are we camping over tonight?"

"We could.  Not like I have a pet to go home to."

"You're never home."

"I am so."

"Okay, well, you do have a pet, you have the horse."

"Horses aren't pets you can nap on the couch with unless you're in a tent in the desert with an Arabian."

Eric moaned and shook his head.  "We'll see."  Natalia squeaked and looked at them, eyes wide. "Now and then," he admitted.

"Ryan, remember, they're spraying so your horse will be here for a few days," Xander offered, then he ate a bite of vegetable stick.

"True, it'll be easier to go for a ride."

"You're cleaning up the lawn, Wolfe," Danny said firmly.

"Of course I will.  She's my horse."

"How did you get a horse?" Natalia asked.

"The last time I got taken with Xander."

"Oh.  Do you let others ride her?"

"Now and then.  She's a fiery mare now and then though.  Tried to bite the person cleaning her stall the other morning."

"She was in heat too," Xander offered, grinning.  "I'm not sure if they let her loose or not."

"Not a clue, but a foal would be nice.  Oz and I had a lot of long talks about our horses."  Adam moaned and put down his head. "Sorry."

"That would require you have a stable to take care of her at, Mr. Wolfe," Horatio said firmly.  Ryan gave him a sheepish look.  "Not just letting her roam free."

"I know."  He shrugged. "We'll have to see, Horatio.  I like where she's at right now and I get out there at least three days a week. If I could find stable space closer I'd ride her in the park."

"You need to move to New York, you can do that up there," Sheldon offered.

"I'd get yelled at and Xander would have to follow."

"Never mind, we'll convert a garage or something," Sheldon promised.  Ryan grinned at that. "Speaking of, Richie said hi, guys."

"Tell the irritating sprout I said hello back," Adam offered. He looked at Xander.  "Anything stronger?"

"Not in my house."

"Sorry, I forgot."  He looked at Ray, who kissed him, making him smile.  "Even better than a beer."  He went back to eating, making the others smile.  "Convention registration starts next week," he announced.  "Xander, I've already told the hotel that you will be coming and that you will stay off the electronic machines.  Please do so."

"Unless they piss me off," he assured him.  He grinned.  "Jace wanted to see Danny during it."

"Of course she did."  He looked at Horatio, who nodded.  "Thank you.  We would like to retest some of the members in GHS for levels this month.  We've recently refined the test for those who were borderline cases before."

"Plus the lack of stress can easily unhide you," Don agreed dryly, saluting him.

"Stress keeps it down?" his mother asked.

"It kept me at a level two for years, Ma.  Then when the stress broke, because I had Xander and things were getting easier down here, I was upgraded to a level five."  She moaned.  "Sorry.  I'm not the only one in the department at least."

"Ooh, I still need to see Tony about those spas," Xander said. "He called me back and said one was okay now and the other two weren't sure about out-of-town people investing."  He grinned.  "Plus, the new class starts next week?"  Danny shrugged and nodded. "Are we sure it'll be okay?"

"Text us when you leave, when you get there, and then when you leave and when you get home again," Don ordered. "That way we can make sure you haven't been stolen."  Xander beamed. "What about Spot's training?"

"He's only missing the last two classes because I was puny those weeks."

"Good.  Can he take the refresher and graduate?"  Xander nodded. "Good. I'd like to see his graduation ceremony.  Hey, Spot, come cuddle, dog."  His dog limped over and sat beside him, letting him pet him.  "You're a good boy.  When you're better you can go back to classes with the other dogs."

"You can go run in the park," Xander agreed.  His tail started to go.  "Good boy.  Once your legs are better we can go run in the park with the other dogs again.  All you have to do is get better."  The dog started to worry at his casts.  "Quit," he said firmly.  He got a small whimper.  "I know they itch.  I've had one of my own, dear.  Quit anyway."  The dog laid down beside the daddy and let him feed him treats from the table.  "Good boy."  Xander handed down a part of his hamburger, getting a happy dog.  He looked at Don.  "I want him to have puppies some year."  Don moaned.  "Tough."

"Let's keep adopting from the shelter, that way there's always animals that need love," Danny countered.  "That way you're helping animals that could use the help."  Xander pouted.  "I mean it."  Xander slumped and sighed.  "You can do a lot of good with the pound, Xander.  They've got to put some down now and then."  Xander nodded, looking sad.  "When he's old and gray we'll see."  Xander nodded, getting up to give him a hug.  "Thank you.  Now eat.  You obviously didn't eat for Ryan and Adam while you were gone."

"I did so.  Adam even got me mousse and stuff."

"That's a treat, not food," Don ordered, pushing the food closer.  Xander dug in again. "Thank you."

"You have him well in hand now," Horatio assured him with a smile.

"Yeah, but you're still family," he pointed out. "Otherwise we'd all be hiding."

"Probably true," Speed agreed. "Speaking of.  That emergency fund...." Xander glared at him. "We did set it up for that."

"Thank you.  We all need those."  Danny nodded at that.

Adam looked at them then at Xander.  "Steve can help you with those plans, Xander.  I promise."

"Good because my emergency card farted at me while I was in LA and I only used it for some minor clothes and the hotel."

"We paid it off and straightened them out," Danny promised.  "Plus now we know to get Ryan a better emergency pack for you, like Don and I carry."  Ryan nodded at that.  "They're on their way."  Ryan smiled at that. "How did you get past the ID thing?"

"The Sunnydale office at the DMV was very understanding and we've got a copy of his old one with a two month expiration date.  They were certain he'd be flying out after dark and it wouldn't be a problem for a very long time."

"Gotta love how they cater to some populations," Xander agreed dryly. They all smiled at that.  "Did the bank have a heart attack about the house? I heard mortgage mentioned."

"That was temporary so we could get the funds authorized and transferred over," Danny promised.  "It was all straightened out already. They'd only let us move in faster if we went through with the mortgage paperwork and paid it off that way."  Xander nodded at that.  "So it's fully fixed.  Nothing's left hanging.  You've got to get the bills switched over to this address."

"They're on in my name at the moment," Don offered.  "So was the old house and you never got those switched, Xander."  Xander gave him a sheepish look.  "Well, I guess it does go toward credit rating.  Switch it over to yours since you have this nasty habit of forgetting the bills."

"Yes, sir."

"Good.  Thank you."  He grinned at him.  "We got you ice cream."  Xander smiled and dug in again.  He looked at the lawn.  "Then we'll figure out how we're getting the grass cut here."

"Unless you're going to get your happy butt on a riding mower," Xander started.  Don gave him a look.  "I'm not the maid."

"You're not," he agreed.  "Or the gardener."  Because Xander would probably end up killing the plants mostly.  "We still have to find one who won't try to take you."

"A few kids in my class work at a gardening place over the summer, I'll ask them," Ray Junior offered.  His uncle smiled at that.  "It'd be good money for them and they're too young to want to take Xander for real."

"They should be," Horatio agreed.  "Plus it is a good opportunity and they'll get to make some money."  Ray smiled.  "No, you're too young for even a summer job."

"Camp counselor?"

His mother considered it. "Day camp or a real camp, Ray?"

"Day camp here in town."

"That I wouldn't mind," she admitted.  "I think you're too young to be one at the real camp."  He nodded.  "Then we'll look at the restrictions and we'll see if you're eligible."

"Sure.  I need my CPR card."

"We can make sure you get that," Xander assured him. "I have to get mine renewed."  Ray smiled. "It's a good skill to have. Especially since I seem to make people choke."  The techs all laughed at that. "I do. I also hear a car."  He looked over when Frank's car drove up.  He waved him over.  "Come eat, Frank."

"Thanks, Xander.  My wife wanted a few hours alone."  He came and wiggled in next to Speed.  "So, anything good happened?"

"Someone came to confess their undying love to Don," Calleigh offered with a bright grin.  "Unfortunately he had a gun he pulled so he'll get that part of him straightened out in prison and learn how to woo him there as well."

Frank grinned at Don.  "The patrol guys are going to razz you for weeks, Flack."

"I know but I'm too cute not to want," he assured him smugly. "Everyone should want me."

Valera looked down at him.  "If you weren't taken, I'd beg.  You seem to give good cuddles."  He gave her a hug, making her grin.  "You do give good cuddles.  Thank you."

"Welcome.  That's what I started out doing for Xander.  That and keeping him at home."

"Quite often," Xander agreed dryly.  "Any news on a protector when I seriously have to get out of the house?"

"Yup.  Not for another month though. He's on injury leave and Donny's already talked to him," Danny told him.  "This'll be for those shopping trips of yours.  Speaking of, I found one of your shirts in my closet again?"

"It loves you," he said with a grin.

"Uh-huh.  Keep the ugly and loud shirts away from mine before they breed and have more printed shirts, Xander."

"He has loud shirts?" Natalia asked, looking at Xander's understated blue outfit today.  "Really?"

"He has a hawaiian shirt collection," Speed told her.  "It's apparently all he used to wear, that and baggy jeans."

Xander shrugged. "I wore them as overshirts."

"I've seen the pictures," Horatio assured him. "You have better taste now and know how to match colors if you must wear one."  Xander beamed at that.  "That is not an excuse to come in blinding everyone, Xander. I still remember the lime suit."

"Sorry, but it's a very hip color."

"Not for you or me."

Xander grinned. "But you looked cute.  Kinda like Kermit but cute."  Horatio pulled him over and swatted him, then let him go.  "Ow.  Meany.  You can't spank me, I'm not yours."

"Let me handle that later," Danny assured him.  "There's punishments that work on him."  Horatio smiled.

Speed looked at his mate. "Lime?"

Xander nodded. "He looked like a tree frog but I thought I looked okay."

"No one looks good in lime green," Eric said firmly. "Except for some very dark skinned women I've seen."  Alexx nodded at that.  "So no, no lime green.  You'll look bad next to me and then I'll never hear the end of it from Aiden."

"Or me," Ryan assured him.

"Or you," he agreed. "She'll be louder and drown you out though."

"Well, yeah.  Aiden's louder than all the other New Yorkers I know combined some days."  Danny laughed and nodded.  "Where is she anyway?"

"It's new collagen day.  She's hiding," Don told him.  "You'll see her in two days."  That got a wise nod.

"I thought those were natural," Calleigh admitted.

"No woman is born with lips that big, Calleigh," Alexx assured her. "If they are, it's a birth defect."  She smiled at that.  "I've even seen ones bigger than hers.  Seriously overinflated."  Horatio shuddered at that.  "Yeah, she came back.  Her sorority sister died of natural causes so she had to ID the body.  I nearly ran the other way."  Her kids stared at her in horror and awe. "You'll run from those lips too."  They just nodded.

Ray looked at them and held his hand out about a foot from his face.  "Serious lips."  They giggled.  "Really."   Yelina nodded at that. "Uncle Horatio, who'll have to come down if the lab in New York comes down?"

"Probably Mac or Stella since they're in charge," Sheldon offered.   "You won't have to be scared by Hirsute Woman."  Alexx swatted at him.   "You think I'm kidding?"  He pulled out a group picture and showed her, making her shudder.  "She wears these micromini skirts and no panties.  She's never shaved anything.  She's worn some skirts that the hair underneath fell out of.  I found one at a scene on a body," he admitted. She gave him a horrified look.  "Stella even helped her and she still wears clothes that would make porn stars blush."

"Ooh, I wanna see," Danny offered.  The picture was handed down.  "You're right, she does look a lot like Ares in Artemis' outfit from that show."  He handed it on.

Don looked and shuddered, handing it to Xander.  "I hope Montana's nagging her that I'm more elegant and better looking," Xander offered, handing it on and calling up there.  "Stella, baby, give Lindsey permission to use me as a taunt against what's-her-name," he offered.  "Yeah, that one.  Well, I am more elegant, I've got better hair..."  He grinned at her laugh. "I do.  I'm feeding Sheldon.  Horatio's here."  He handed it over.  "The mortal Goddess."

"Stella?"  He smiled at her continued laughter.  "He would know, Stella.  What's going on?"  He nodded. "I have them and I'll bring them to my boss tomorrow.  No, he's wanting to split off a new felony unit."  He smiled.  "Which would be perfect.  We'd have many of you with us while the convention was going on and you'd have time to get used to the city with us showing you around before you went out on your own.  Of course. He's getting his plans set now and I've got the figures Mac sent me.  Of course.  Even if we can't, you know you, Sheldon, and Mac are welcome, Stella."  He smiled at that. "If she'd want to but I'm not sure she could understand Miami's culture.  We're a different sort of laid back here."  He nodded.  "If he thinks it's best."  He smiled. "Of course I will.  No, Don said it's collagen day."  He laughed.  "I'll send her your love as well.  Talk to you soon."  He hung up and handed the phone back and the picture on.  "She might want to bring Lindsey."

"She'll nag the fake breasts," Don told him.  "Plus she'd die in the heat.  They definitely don't get humidity like this back in Montana.  She nearly died her first summer up there."

"She did, and we all glared at her for complaining because each time she nagged, the A/C broke in the labs," Danny reminded him.

"I forgot about that," Don admitted with a grin.  Calleigh giggled.  "Seriously."

She pointed.  "That."  He looked and watched the two ferrets pulling on the dog's casts for him.  "Don't do that.  He needs those so he can run and jump and play some more."

"Casts are a pain in multiple ways," Xander reminded her.  "C'mere, guys."  They came over and he petted his babies.  "I know it bothers him but it'll be okay.  I promise."  The ferrets got back up onto the table and ran down to investigate someone else's plate.  Cooper had to hand over his roll to Beauty and Ryan got George away from his corn.

"Mine, George.  Go eat someone else's dinner.  I missed lunch.  Go snuggle up to Alexx.  She's a mommy and will feed you."  He pointed and George headed that way, sniffing the plates.  A bit of roll was put down in front of him and he stopped to nibble it then looked at the person, getting a smile.

"They're clearly as troublesome as Speed but loving pets," Alexx decided, adding more roll.  The other one came over, through the potatoes, to see what her buddy was getting.  Ryan took the stuff from on top for his own plate, letting the others have the rest.  It got him smiles and he shrugged.

"I'm used to them.  Don't feed them meat.  They eat kitten chow."  That got a nod and Alexx removed the piece of hamburger, but replaced it with some vegetables.  He looked down at Xander.  "We need to add more beans to the pan of them inside and buy more litter.  You're nearly out again."

"Sure.  We can do that," he agreed happily.

"No, *we* can do that," Danny assured him. "You might come home with more animals."  Xander pouted.  "Tough.  Three is enough."

"So I can have another ferret?" he asked.

Don laughed.  "If I can find you one, Xander."  Xander kissed him, making his mother and him both sigh.  "Thanks.  Behave."

"I'm trying."

"Try harder," Danny teased.  "Speaking of, what are you getting me for my birthday?"

"I haven't decided yet. It's between two things."  Danny smirked at him.  "Only one of them could you possibly use to spoil Don and I."

"Sure.  Maybe you'll let me have some input?"

"Into your own present?" he snorted.  "Yeah, right, Danny.  Do you need to be tied down and washed off so your fever doesn't make you thrash?"

"No, I'm pretty normal today," he admitted. "Come here."  He got up and came over, sitting in his lap.  "Food?"  Don handed down Xander's plate and got the dog to cuddle for now.  "Eat."  Xander dug in again, letting Danny pat his back.  "Sometimes the mundane things get away from him."

"I've seen that during a few lunches," Frank agreed.  "He'd feed everyone else, cuddle those who let him, and then he'd totally forget to eat his sandwich."

"Those things happen to GHS members," Adam promised.  "That's why we have keepers."  Speed nodded at that.  "After the first few died in places like the pool in the basement, we knew we needed someone to take care of the mundane while we were lost in our pleasures.  Xander's being forced to do much more than most level eights are," he offered.  "Then again, most keepers for level tens like Xander don't work.  They have their hands full."  Danny nodded at that. "Even if there are usually more than one of them."  Don's mother and Alexx both moaned at that and Alexx blushed.  "It's true.  Most of the other level tens have a true harem in the old sense of the word."

"See, I'm doing great," Xander assured Danny, who nodded. "But can someone else take over the bill paying?  I'm still getting headaches from that stuff."

"I will," Danny promised, stroking his back.  Xander beamed at that.  "Go give tours."

"I want to see this bed," Cooper agreed.  "Do the ferrets mind it?"

"George won't go into that spot he was bleeding into before but he crawls over the rest of us to nest in Xander's hair most nights," Don told him.  They smiled at that. "Take them in to cage them?"  Horatio and Speed nodded, gathering up the nibbling little spoiled ones, taking their treats with them.  Xander led them all around the house and a few snuck down to the basement coming back looking very shyly at Xander, who could only grin and shrug.  Don looked at Danny since they were mostly alone.  "Spanking?"

"I'm thinking worse, leaving him hanging," he offered.  Ryan snickered from his spot down the table.  "What?"

"I tried that when he decided he had to have chocolate and went out in the storm in LA," he offered.  "He pouted and flipped me over."

"See, that's where two of us come in handy," Don told him.

"I'll have to remember that."  He grinned at the trailer pulling up, going to unload his horse.  "I thought we were going to move her tomorrow."

"I was but she was making the other horses restless since she's in heat.  Are you considering breeding her?"  Ryan nodded.  "She's got some fine lines in her if you do."

"I'm still considering it.  If there was temporary birth control I'd use it."

"I know you would, Ryan.  You're very good to her."  She patted the mare's side.  "Let her roam if she's not going to have a stall here."  He unclipped her lead and let her roam.  "Now, I've got some hay and some feed for her."  They unloaded it into the garage and she smiled at him.  "I'll be back in a few days for her.  After the fumes have died off."

"Thank you."

"Welcome.  Want her tack?"  Ryan nodded so she got the saddle and bridle from the front seat, letting him have them.  "There you go.  Have a good ride and watch out for any dips.  She can still turn an ankle."  He nodded and she got back in after making sure the trailer was closed.

"Hey, Don, can I put her saddle on your bike?"

"Go ahead.  It won't make it smell, right?"

"It's leather, Don.  Leather and lamb's wool."

"That's fine."  Ryan went to do that and Don grinned when the horse came over to sniff the dog.  "That's Spot.  Be nice to him, he's injured."  The horse nuzzled the dog then walked off to look at the rest of the table.

Ray Junior came out and went right to her, petting her gently.  "You're very pretty but get your nose out of my plate please."  He handed over another carrot stick, making her happy.  "Let Uncle H spoil you."  He led her off, she allowed it, and right up to Horatio.  Who stared, then got an apple for her.  "She was helping me finish my plate."  He went back to his dinner, finishing it up.

"She probably shouldn't be in the kitchen," Speed offered when he joined them. "Outside, horse."  It looked at him.  "Come on.  Give me a treat for her."  Horatio handed over his and he showed it to her then walked her out using it, letting her have it outside. "You can't live in the kitchen.  Even if the boy does say so."   Xander came out and hopped on her back, walking her off with her mane as reins and a quick nudge of his heels.  She trotted back to the trees and Ryan got up to set up some of her grain in the buckets, along with some water from the table.  He spread some hay out as well.  She settled in to nibble and relax while they went back to the table.

"She's a good looking horse," Frank offered.

"She's a great horse," Ryan agreed.  "Very loving if she likes you.  Every now and then she likes to bite the stable guy because he works nights in a meat packing plant and she doesn't like the smell of blood on him.  He knows this though."   His horse wandered back over and he stroked her chin for her.  "Good girl.  You stay outside.  No going into the house."

"She'd better not or your cleaning up the mess," Danny called.  He shut the kitchen door and came out another entrance.  He sat down again and looked around. "Where are Horatio, Speed, Don, and Xander?"  Ray giggled. "Ray?"

"Uncle Speed wanted to see the basement.  They're showing them things."

"I'd hope you didn't go down there," Alexx said firmly.

He rolled his eyes.  "Please, Alexx.  I do know what gay guys do to each other.  I mean, hello, have seen movies, tv, and music videos.  Plus a friend's porn.  Plus walked in on it once.  I'm not the baby my mother thinks I am."

"I wish you were, son," Yelina said firmly. "Which friend was that?"

"Not like I'm gonna tell, mom.  You'll try to nag his parents.  Since they won't appreciate him being gay, I'm going to keep that secret until he's ready to tell them.  Or until they find out and we've got to hide him from their flaming pitchforks."

"That one," she sighed.  "I can accept that, son. If he's in danger, he can have your floor and your sleeping bag."  His son nodded at that.  "Either of them since I believe another friend may be."

"Well, yeah, but I knew that already.  He's known since he was five according to him."  His mother sighed and shook her head. "He's always been pretty anti-girl.  Puberty just confirmed it, mom."  Horatio and Don came out chatting and Speed walked Xander out, who was button up his shirt.  "Hmm."  His mother glared at him since he was too far away to swat.  "I'm wondering if he got another tattoo in LA."

"In Vegas," Ryan sighed.  "Jace went with him."   They all smiled at that.  "Not like I could stop him."

Danny looked down.  "I remember seeing it.  Figures, it's Jace's style."  He looked at Xander.  "Showing off the little paw print?"  Xander grinned and nodded.  "Good.  Now, come here and eat."  Xander sat down in his lap again and went back to nibbling. "Thank you!"  He added more to his plate then handed him back his fork.  Xander gave him a look but did dig in for his pleasure. "You can wander around the yard with the horse and the dog tomorrow."

"I was going to teach the ferrets to ride in a saddle bag."  Ryan looked down at him.  "Can't they come?"

"We'll see."  He looked at Danny and Don.  "He wanted to see that area with the other self- defense technique."

"How long would you guys be gone?" Don asked.  Ryan shrugged.  "In our time?"

"Maybe a week at the most.  Which means Xander would miss the start of his class."

"It'll be offered again in another few months."

"Fine," Ryan agreed.  "The next time I've got major time off we'll go."

"You get shot again and I'm going to kick your ass," Eric assured him.

"I didn't want to be shot the last time."

"Uh-huh.  Still had better not happen again."

"Eric, I was in the parking lot."

"I know that.  It had still better never happen again."

"Yes, dear," he sighed.  "I'll make them shoot at the hummers instead.  Somehow."  Eric smiled at that.

"That would lead to much paperwork, Mr. Wolfe," Horatio warned.

"I know, boss.  But you heard him, I can't be shot again and I can't let anyone else be shot again.  The hummers and cruisers are the only alternative."

"Get the cruisers shot, they're used to it in Auto Detail," Speed offered.  Ryan smiled at him.  "Dive behind one next time."

"I did last time, still got hit in the arm."  Xander got up and walked around to hug him, whispering in his ear.  "Behave."

"I'm trying."  He went back to his seat.  Danny handed down the plate and he dug in again, shaking his head.  Alexx smiled at their byplay.  "It's good he loves me."

"It is," Danny agreed. "You'd be on a feeding tube otherwise."  Xander finished his plate of food and pushed it aside.  Horatio stacked it with his so he could avoid the dreaded 'eat now' command from his own keeper.

Speed looked at him. "Won't save you. Dessert?"  Xander beamed and drug him inside to see, making his moan float out of the house.  He brought out the chocolate souffle and Xander brought the newly melted gnosh made with the good chocolates from the place they had gift certificates to. "He used the *good* chocolate."  Horatio moaned and accepted his plate of dessert and dug in with a deep, growling moan.  He smiled at Xander. "That was a 'good job'," Speed interpreted.  He ate a bite of his own and purred, licking his spoon.  "Very well done, Xander. Just right."

Don nearly came when he ate his first bite.  "Oh, damn," he moaned, then he hugged Xander.  "I love you for spoiling us."  Xander smiled and dug in, licking some chocolate off his finger before taking a bite, groaning some as well.  The rest of the table watched who else moaned.  Ray and Adam both.  Frank held his in before any rumors got started.  Calleigh sighed in pleasure.  So did Valera.  Natalia just swooned and the horse came over to nibble on her hair for her.  Ray Junior's moan made his mother stare at him.

"It's good," he defended.

"If he should turn out that way, Yelina, I'll have him tested and mentor him," Horatio assured her.  Ray gave him a scared look.  "More moments of scatterbrained confusion?"

"Not really.  Huh.  Then again, I haven't had sex yet."

"Once you do, let us know if you turn out like your friend," Adam ordered before taking another bite.  He gripped Ray's thigh to keep from coming then and there and embarrassing himself.   Ray pried the fingers off and kissed him, then ate another bite.  "Xander...."

"Use the room across from Don's.  That's traditionally Horatio and Speed's if they stay over.  Last one on the left is Ryan's and Eric's.  Last one of on the right is Don's mother."  They hurried up there with their plates, and he smiled, eating another bite.  He was unashamed of how his body was reacting.  Don hauled him up and took their plates inside to their room a few minutes later.  He ended up on his knees licking him clean, then spreading more on him to eat it off his cock.  It made Don whimper and clutch the bedframe but it was good and he came too.

Danny licked his spoon, looking down the table.  "They'll be fine," he assured them.  Horatio blushed.  "You have more control than Xander."

"I do," he agreed.  He finished up his treat by gripping Speed's thigh.  Speed's hand on his thigh wasn't so much gripping as kneading.  He looked at his mate. "Home?"

"I only brought the bike and it looks like it might rain."  Horatio glanced up at the clear sky then at him.  "Night, all."  He led the way inside and up to their room.  It was just the same and Horatio was more than happy to be pounced.  Speed even snuck down to get some of the excess chocolate to tease him and let him lick off.

Ray Junior looked at the table.  "Let's put up the leftover, guys.  I doubt anyone's going to want to clean later."  They all pitched in to put things up, then they said bye to Danny and left.

Danny walked into the bedroom once it was only him and the horse outside.  The dog had retreated to a couch to nap some more.  He checked, the ferrets were napping off their playtime.  He scratched the horse's nose.  "You rest, girl.  Ryan will be down in a while."  She wandered off again, going to sniff the flowers.  Danny headed back to their room, finding Don already passed out and Xander licking him clean.  "My turn?"  Xander beamed and flipped onto his back, letting him have the other piece of cake to play with. "Hmm.  Were to put this."  He started with his stomach and worked down from there.  Xander passed out before he was done but Xander never minded if he finished off after him.  It was still good.  He went to get a cloth and clean them all off.  Then he got to curl up behind Xander and cuddle him and his hair.  It was a nice night and a good party for their first one.

A Bit of Traveling...

Tony looked up at the building in front of him, smiling.  "It's a nice lab," he decided, heading inside.  "Hi, I need to see Lieutenant Caine," he offered.  "I'm Detective DiNozzo from Baltimore and he's expecting me?"

The receptionist logged him in and paged him.  "He's at a scene right now but he'll send someone else down, Detective.  If you'd like to sit?"  She pointed at the seats.

"Sure."  He sat down, smiling at the semi-hard benches.  They were a bit firm for his tastes but good enough for a police station. He smiled when he saw the man coming out, getting a nod from the receptionist. "Hi, I'm Detective DiNozzo from Baltimore," he offered, holding out a hand.

"Eric Delko.  Come on.  What do you have for us?"

"I managed to get his full record unsealed, including his juvenile records," he said proudly.  He handed them over as they walked.  "I hope it can help you in his murder investigation."

"I hope so too."  He frowned as he read, then his beeper went off.  He looked and moaned.  "Guys, Xander's bringing lunch," he called.  "Real food this time.  He's trying new stuff."

"You know Xander Harris?" Tony asked.

Eric looked at him then nodded. "I do.  Xander's dating another GHS member in the unit and one of our CSIs.  Plus we've got a few others here."   Tony smiled at that.  "Come on.  You can have lunch with us too."  He walked down there, watching as Xander squealed and pounced Tony for a hug.

"Are you coming down too?"

"No, I had to bring stuff down from Baltimore because one of our less than stunning citizens got killed down here."  He grinned.  "I know the *perfect* place for you to invest in, Xander.  Talk with me tonight over dinner?"

"I've got a few spare rooms.  Save your PD some money."  He grinned at that. "I'll introduce you to everyone. I saw you came in with Eric so you probably know the grumpy one."

"Ryan slept with his horse last night, Xander.  Of course I'm grumpy."

"His mare's having some gestation issues and it's her first," Xander shared, making Tony smile at that.  "Ooh, here's Calleigh, Detective Frank Trip, and Valera.  Food.  Kinda spicy food.  Has pepperoni if anyone minds that."

Tony got his own bowl and sat down, saying hi to those Xander introduced to him.  He did hug Don.  "Hi."

"Hi," he said, grinning back.  "Down on that case?"  That got a nod and Don looked at the casserole.  "Am I gonna burp all day?  I've got my first performance review."

"Rolaids are in the bag, Don."  He dug out a good helping and sat beside Tony. "I said he could use a guest room."

"That's fine," Don agreed.  "Danny?"

"He's a buddy it's fine," he agreed between bites.  He grunted and nodded at the folder, getting it from Eric since it was their case.  He looked at Tony, who nodded since he was chewing.  "Thanks," he said, finishing up.  He did take two rolaids on his way out but it was good and he had leads now.

"He'll be late tonight," Don said with a grin. "It's his and Eric's case."

"That's fine."  He grinned.  "If I can help, just let me know. I'm down for three days unless you guys need me longer.  I could use the sun.  Baltimore's had a rainy spring."

"There's a great beach not twenty minutes walk from the house and you can tan all you want, however you want, in the backyard," Xander assured him.  Tony smiled at that.  "We had to move somewhere bigger because of various people trying to kidnap me.  Ooh, Spot's casts are off.  He's bouncing slowly but he's back to being a bouncy dog.  He's so happy," he shared with Tony.

"What happened to him?"

"The last schmucks who took Xander," Don told him, shrugging some.  "They're gone now."  That got a grin and a punch on the arm from Tony.  "They are."  Ryan walked in.  "Did you get to meet Ryan during the convention?"

"Kinda hard to since I was here," Ryan offered. "Hi, Ryan Wolfe, Xander's backup protector."

"Tony DiNozzo, Baltimore homicide."  He shook his hand with a grin. "You guys all know what Xander is?"

"After some of the things that came for him?  Yeah," Calleigh said dryly, smirking at him.  "Fortunately they're on vacation for a few weeks."  She smiled as Speed came in.  "It's a bit spicy but it has pepperoni."

Speed looked then at Xander.  "You said you wondered what my casserole was like with pepperoni."  Xander held up a bite for him, making him nod.  "Not bad," he admitted once he had swallowed.  He grabbed bowls of the stuff for them, grinning at Tony.  "Hey, Tony."

"Speed."

"Horatio's going to be in soon.  I'm making him eat first.  He got called out at four."

"Been there, done that," Tony agreed.  "He can come call me charming and helpful in a while."  Speed grinned and went to feed the boss and himself.  He looked around. "Wow.  You guys are much more tolerant than Baltimore is."

"We have to be, Speed would kick our asses," Ryan assured him with a grin, making Tony giggle and nod.  "So, how is the North East?"

"Rainy for the last few weeks.  It's spring mud season."  Don moaned at that.  "Yeah, I had one almost buried in the mud the other day," he admitted.  He shrugged.  "You do what you have to do."

"You do," Frank agreed.  "Then again, if we messed up a crime scene on one of these guys by kneeling on it, we'd never hear the end of it."

Tony looked at them.  "Really?  I do a lot of kneeling, finding stuff, helping our CSU guys.  They claim their job is to process.  My job is to chase down people."

Eric laughed at that.  "Here, we chase, we arrest, we question."

"We get into hostage situations," Ryan added looking at Calleigh, who blushed.  "Then again, a few of us minor in saving Xander too."  Xander nodded at that, smiling at him.  "Behave."

"I have been behaving.  How's your current case?"

"I'm not sure.  The whole ex-wife thing is not doing it for me."  Eric looked at him and he held his tongue.  He had promised Horatio he'd try to be civil even if they were fighting and Eric had missed his call out.  "We'll see later.  My theory's leaning a bit at the moment."

"I've had those and had them turn around and be right," Calleigh offered. "You never know.  People do things for stupid reasons sometimes.  I had one last month that had a guy killed for a candybar."

"I like chocolate but I'm never that desperate," Xander quipped.  They all smiled at that.  "Guys, come eat," he yelled.  "Do not make me take food home!"  Some of the patrol guys came in to get some as well.  "Take it, spread it around. It's a bit spicy and it's got pepperoni."  They nodded and went to do that, letting the lab geeks get theirs first since it had been brought in for them. Then they hoarded the rest of the casserole.  It was good.  Even if some people did need some antacids.  Including the homicide supervisor.

Don's watch beeped. "Gotta run, guys.  My eval's today.  Wish me luck."

Xander smiled.  "Good luck, Don.  Rewards if you get the raise when you get home or a backrub if you don't."  Don grinned and nodded at Tony before going.  Xander curled up in his seat.  "So, need to stay here for a few or should I take you home?"

"I should probably make sure there's no questions about the files."

"Danny lives with him, he can call," Eric assured him with a grin.  "Go relax.  These are mini-vacations."  Tony smiled and went with Xander, following him back in his rental car.  Eric looked at Ryan.  "Is he?"  Ryan nodded.  "High, low?"

"Higher than Don.  Around Horatio's level," he admitted, finishing up.  "I'm going back to the lab.  Calleigh?"

"In a few.  Let me finish and get some of the antacids."  He nodded and went back there. "Eric."

"Don't.  Just don't.  It's not something I can talk about right now."

"You'd better start. Ryan's about to move to Xander's permanently and throw you off that balcony."  She got up.  "Besides, this is his only day off in the last two weeks.  He needed the sleep.  He works more hours than you do."

"It's..."

"I don't care," she said firmly.  "If you can't talk to him, talk to me.  Talk to Speed.  Hell, talk to Xander!"  He nodded.  "Just fix it or figure out how to work around it. Before the rest of us get hurt by it."  She walked off, leaving him there to think.

He finished eating and went up to the office, knocking.  "Guys, can I borrow Speed to talk to?"

"I think it'd be an excellent idea, Eric," Horatio agreed. "Does this have to do with your sister?"  He nodded.  "Then take him away for an hour.  I can spare you both for now.  Where did Tony go?"

"Home with Xander. I told him we could call if we needed him back.  Speed?"  Speed finished his lunch and walked out with him, tossing out the paper bowl and spoon on the way.

***

Xander summoned the phone over, too lazy to get up and get it.  "Harris."  He sat up. "Is he all right?  I'll be right there, Alexx.  I'm sure.  Keep him calm.  Ask Danny.  He should be okay but there could still be issues for a while.  I'll be right there.  Hold on."  He hung up and looked at Tony.  "Ryan just got shot in the eye with a nail.  I've got to go to the ER.  Play with the dog for a few, he'll be coming back here probably."  He got up and headed inside to change and then to the corvette to head there.  He rushed in and found Alexx in a stand-off.  "What's wrong?"

"They won't give me any information."

"I'm Alexander Harris, his medical contact.  This woman is like his fucking mother, tell her before I bitch slap someone," he said firmly.

"Don't swear at them," Alexx said firmly.  "I'm sure he'll be all right, Xander.  He's worried.  Can we go see him now?"  The nurse nodded and led them back there after checking his information.  "Oh, baby."

"Alexx?" he asked, sounding drugged.  "Can't they take it out yet?"

"They're doing it in a minute," she promised, stroking his hand.  Xander took the direct route and hugged him.

"Hi, Xander.  Can you get the others?"

"I did, baby," Alexx promised.  "Eric put it over dispatch, it's all out there and I made sure Horatio knew where you were."  He nodded. The doctor came in and looked at them.  "Xander is his medical power of attorney and I'm like his mother.  You move me with drugs."

"Sure," he decided, looking at Ryan, who nodded. "That's fine.  We've got an ocular surgeon coming down to remove it, just in case, Officer Wolfe.  Then we'll see what sort of damage there is. We're hoping nothing on it lodged back there."

"You and me both."  He looked over as someone else came in.  "Out."

"I'm..."

"Out!" he yelled.  She backed out and the nurse walked her off.  "I'm not dealing with my mother.  Alexx is my mother."  The doctor nodded and made a note of that on the chart.  "How long should I be resting for?"

"A good while, at least until we see if there's any damage back there, Mr. Wolfe."  Someone else came in.  "Jack. This is Ryan Wolfe.  You can see the problem."

"I can.  That's got to hurt.  How did you do that?"

"Suspect had the nail gun in the closet and it popped me when I was checking a suspicious noise on a crime scene," he said tiredly.  "Can we pull it now, it's got to hurt less when it's gone."

"Sure."  He came over and shined a bright light in, looking around.  "Looks like it hit into the tear duct, Ryan.  Let me get some forceps."  Alexx handed over a set.  "Doctor?"

"ME.  His adoptive mother.  Xander's the fussy one."

He looked at Xander, then back at Ryan.  "You're going to be spoiled."

"Of course I am.  I usually am.  That's what being smothered by Xander is like."

"I don't smother," Xander defended.  "Do I?"  Ryan gave him a look.  "I'll be better at it?" he offered.

"You're fine at it.  Smothering from you is nice," Ryan assured him.  Xander smiled at that.  "Come hold my hand."  They held his hands down and the doctor pulled the nail out, making him hiss and arch up.  "Maybe it hurt less in there."

"It'll hurt less in a few moments," the surgeon offered gently.  "For now, let's stop the little bit of bleeding.  Now, we're going to put you on a good antibiotic, Ryan.  Even if it wasn't rusty, there's still a chance of it having debris on it."  Ryan nodded at that.  "Good boy.  Let's bandage it since it looks like it's stopped bleeding.  At least you heal quickly."

"I try," he admitted.  He let them bandage it and tried to sit up but Alexx pushed him back down.  "I can sit up."

"Not for a few more, sugar.  Rest for now.  How long will he need to be off work?"

"Probably a few weeks," he offered. "He definitely should not drive while he's like this."  She nodded.  "I can write out an excuse for him if you want."

"Please, our bosses will need it," she said. "Plus temporary disability maybe."  He gave her a look.  "If he says you can't come back for a month, you can't come back for a month, Ryan.  Quick healer or not."  He slumped and covered his good eye with his other hand.  "Look at it this way.  Xander wanted to do a bit of traveling."

"Maybe," Ryan agreed.  He looked at Xander.  "Can you call the others and tell them it's safe to come in?"

"I'm sure they're waiting," Alexx soothed. "Let me go check."  She went to do that, going to say prayers that it hadn't been more serious.  They could've lost Ryan if it had been a more serious injury, just to cover it up.  She found Eric waiting.  "Where's everyone else?"

"Hunting the person who did it.  H went personally to find them and chew them a new one."  She nodded at that. "How is he?"

"They pulled the nail. They're giving him antibiotics in case something shed off.  It hit his tear duct."

"He'll heal, Alexx.  We do that."

"I know that but that doesn't help a whole lot if there's debris, Eric."  He nodded at that point.  "Xander's in there with him."

"It's my fault. I'll drive him home."

She looked at him. "You'll have a fight on your hands."  He nodded at that.  "Did it have a good reason?"

"My sister's sick," he said, looking at her.  She hugged him.  "Thanks."

"I'll tell Xander you're going to take him home and take care of him.  Ryan can go to his place when you've got to go to work."  Eric nodded.  "You want to come in?"

"He'll fuss and I'd rather fight in private."

"Sure."  She went to talk to him, finding Ryan looking unimpressed with his prescription.  "Eric said they ran off like an avenging army over you, baby," she soothed, stroking his hair off his forehead.  He looked at her.  "He's taking you home to baby you tonight and then you can go to Xander's."  Xander opened his mouth and she stared him down.  He glared back.  "They need to talk, Xander."

"I heard."

"Xander," Ryan said quietly.  "I do need to talk to him.  Then I'll come take up my room with you guys."  Xander nodded and hugged him.  "Now, take Alexx with you. I'm sure she hitched a ride."  Xander nodded and hugged him again.  "At the latest in the morning, Xander."

"Yes, Ryan."  He walked out with her, glaring at Eric, who nodded that he'd be fixing it. He got her into the passenger side of the corvette and walked around, saying a silent prayer that Ryan would be all right quickly this time. He hated being on leave for any reason.  Then he got in to drive her back to the station.  He found Horatio waiting on them and got out, letting Alexx out.  "He's off for weeks," he said.

"I'm sure you'll take good care of him, Xander.  The same as I am that Eric will when he can."  Xander nodded at that.  "It'll be fine.  Remember, Ryan will heal," he said quietly.

"They were talking about flecks of debris and he'll still need his antibiotic and monitored."

"He'll still heal, Xander," Horatio reminded him, more firmly this time.  Xander nodded at that.  "Even if they do end up having to do surgery to fix it, he'll still heal and come back to us."  Xander nodded and hugged him.  "Good boy, now go home.  I know you've got Tony stashed at the house.  He called to see if he could help."  He patted him on the back. "Can you drive?"  Xander nodded. "Good. Do that.  Go home."  Xander nodded and went home, only crashing on the way home because someone ran him off the road.  Horatio had gotten back into the labs with Alexx telling him about the injury when his phone rang.  "Caine."  He listened, then stiffened. "Is he all right?  No, don't.  Not until we get there.  I'm sure.  He'll be fine."  He hung up and rushed off. "Alexx, send Don to me now."  He hurried out to his hummer, finding the patrol officers looking antsy.  He got out and ran over, finding Xander coming back around. "Xander?"  Xander blinked at him. "Focus on me, Xander. It's Horatio.  Come on.  Time to wake up."  Xander moaned and pointed.  "What?  Who hit you?"  He whispered something.  "What?"  Xander said it a bit stronger.  He looked around, no one of that description was there.  Then he looked at him again.

"All right.  Come on, I'll have the car impounded for evidence and fixed while I take you home."  Xander held his head.  "Come on.   You'll be fine.  You only passed out."  Xander gave him an evil look and he glanced at the nearby patrol officers.  "Come on."  Xander nodded and let him help him out and into the hummer.  He looked at the one who called.  "His pulse is nearly impossible to find sometimes," he offered since the guy had said he was dead.  "He's also got a private doctor who can check him over at home.  He hates hospitals.  Tends to react violently when in one thanks to his past."  They nodded at that.  "Hold the scene, Flack should be coming.  Tell him I have Xander, get another CSI here."  They nodded and went to call Flack just in case.  He slid in to drive, looking at him.  "Pass back out if you need to," he offered, heading for the house a bit slower than he needed to.  Tony didn't need to see this.  By the time they got there, Xander was more lucid and able to stumble by himself.  He got him into the house and onto a couch, tucking him in. "Stay there."  Tony popped in from the study. "Someone hit him on the way home. He's a bit dizzy but he'll be fine."

"Sure. I've had a concussion from playing ball."  Horatio smiled at that.  "I know, what a shock.  I played ball."  He shrugged and went to get Xander some tylenol and some water.  "Here, these'll help as much as the nap you want to take."  Xander took them and laid on his side, getting comfortable.  Horatio slid him his card.  "I'll call if he gets worse."

"Call first, Tony. Just in case.  Xander can be odd about doctors."

"Most of us are.  Especially with that castration thing."  Horatio nodded and left, heading back to the scene.  Tony went to wake up the dog.  "The Xander boy is hurt, go nap on him."  He led him out and watched him jump up onto his father, sniffing him before laying down on his covered body.  Xander limply petted him.  "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me, Xander.  Just yell."  Xander nodded so he went that way.  Xander passed back out and died for a little bit but then he woke up with a gasp and found Tony staring at him. "Happens now and then," he said, then he drifted off again.

Tony stared at him, then filed it away for later use.  He saw Xander start to shift and then Danny came in. "He's in here.  He just woke up with a gasp, again."  Danny gave him a long stare.  "Can I know?"

"You shouldn't."

"The world is full of weird things."

"Xander's one."

"I thought demons were."

Danny grinned. "We'll talk about it later.  Did he say Ryan was coming back?"  Xander shook his head.  "Why not?"

"His idiot wants him."

"Good.  They need ta talk."  He came over to check Xander over, smiling at his weak swats.  "You'll be fine."  He kissed him on the forehead then petted the dog.  "You guard the daddy."  He turned and found Ray Junior behind him.  "Someone ran him off the road."

"His poor corvette.  Did he get out to kick their ass?"

"He's still mortal."

Ray snorted. "He's like some action comic hero, Danny.  Xander can do anything if he can make my mother not fuss about being spoiled.  I've got him, head off."  Danny nodded and left it there.  He smiled at the other guy.  "Hi, Ray Caine, Horatio's nephew."

"I'm Tony.  I'm a fellow GHS and detective down to help on a homicide."

"Cool.  Hey, Spot. He okay?"  The dog barked quietly.  "Then we're going to go cook.  You be a good boy and guard him.  Come get me if something else happens."  The dog put his head back down, watching them.  "Come on.  He'll be grumpy in a bit about his car."

"I'd be upset with whoever hit me too," Tony agreed.

"Trust me, Uncle Horatio is going to be chewing someone a new one in multiple languages if he can get away with it."  He saw Adam stomp in. "Couch.  Living room.  Dog!" he called after him.

"That's fine, Spot likes me," he assured him.  He checked Xander over, getting more weak swats. "I'm making sure you're fine."

"Go check Ryan.  They were talking about debris."

"What happened to that one?"

"Suspect put a nail into his eye."  Xander gave him a squinted look.  "I hate concussions."

"It'll only last a few hours," Adam reminded him, petting him gently.  The dog woofed quietly so he used his free hand to pet him as well.  "Go back to sleep."

"I think Tony caught me coming back," he said quietly.

"It'll be fine, Xander.  There's a few of us in GHS."  He soothed him back into a nap, the dog with him, then he went to talk to Ray and Tony.  "Anthony."

"Adam," he said, hugging him.  "I didn't know you were down here."

"Ray's working with the local homicide unit."

"Wow.  Small world."  He grinned.  "So, is his secret what you and Trevor are hiding?"  Adam gave him a look.  "I'm a detective, Adam, and a damn good one.  You guys stiffen whenever the other comes near.  He did it when Danny came in and Danny did it earlier with Don and Eric, then again with Ryan."

Adam smiled. "You are indeed a very observant detective, Tony."

"Is this why they use swords and Ryan's got a tattoo on his shoulder that's like part of the one on Xander's hips?" Ray asked.  "Or part of how they spent two years out of time the last time and only a few hours here?"

"Those last two are related but not in direct correlation.  Ask your uncle."  Ray sighed and rolled his eyes but nodded and went to call him.  He looked at Tony.  "Yes, we're special.  All the ones you named."

"That's fine.  I'm assuming some sort of mutant self-healing since he was dead and then woke up."  He licked the bit of sandwich filling off his fingers.  "Or are you guys immortal?"

"Immortal, but it does come with a healing gift."

"Then I'd worry more about Ryan since Xander said something about debris while he was mumbling before he died," he said quietly.

"I'll check him later.  You're not upset?"

"I figured if I was, I'd have been told by now, Adam.  Since I clearly can't join I'll enjoy watching others and keep it in my head for any cases that might come up."

"Thank you, Tony."  He patted him on the shoulder with a smile. "Raymond, quit lurking."

"Spoil all my fun.  Is Ryan going to be all right?"

"He should be."  He looked at him. "I suppose you heard?"

"Yup," he said with a grin.  "Is that why Uncle Horatio has that thing on his neck?"

"No, that was Aphrodite," Adam said honestly.

"Cool.  Does she wear that few clothes, like she did on the show?"  Adam nodded slowly.  "Then that's my wet dream of the night.  Uncle H said I'm having dinner with him tonight.   Hell, I keep the GHS stuff secret, I can keep that stuff too.  Not like anyone would believe me.  I'm a teenager."  He headed out to check on Xander, then came back.  "Something's seriously wrong.  He's gone again."   Adam went to check so he looked at Tony.  "Miami was never like this before Xander moved down here."  Tony laughed and hugged him.   "Okay, I'm sure it was but I didn't know."  He grinned.  "Let me feed Spot for you and the ferrets, then I'll head to Uncle H's house if Adam will give me a ride," he called.

"Of course."

He got out the animal food and went to put it down for them.  Then he headed out to wait outside and think.  It was a pretty cool gift to have.  No wonder Eric got women like he did.  By the time he got to his uncle's house it had settled in to the level of 'something else I know about those around me that others shouldn't' in his mind and it was all good. He walked in and looked at his uncle, who looked scared.  "Did she make you like them or are you just not aging?  You haven't had any hair falling out in a while or complained about it."

Horatio gave him a hug.  "If you ever want to be a detective, you'll make a very good one, Ray.  I'm proud you're so smart."

"Which isn't an answer," he said with a grin.  "But we can do that after dinner.  What's for food?"

Horatio laughed and led him back to the kitchen, where Speed was fussing.  "How is Xander?" Speed asked.

"Died a few times, he's back and Adam said it was all good again."

"Good," he agreed.  He paused and looked at him.  "What did you say?"

"Well, kinda found out by accident.  So, do the tattoos give you that same sort of healing or not?"

"Not.  We're still normal mortals.  We'll live longer," Horatio told him.  He looked at Speed.  "As long as we're careful."

"Sure," he agreed.  "You're the one who walks into hostage situations."   He grinned at Ray.  "So, you're cool with this?"

"Am I?"  They both shook their heads.  "Then it's not my thing and it's cool that someone is.  Even though I can't brag, I knew Xander was some sort of comic book hero before this.  He's proven to me he can do anything but balance his checkbook if he sets his mind to it."  They laughed at that and he got hugged. "Feed me?" he begged. "Please?  My growing boy stomach is spreading again."  Speed nodded and went back to cooking.  "Does mom know about..."  They shook their heads.  "It probably skipped her attention like you two being together did.  I love my mother but sometimes she's focused on the wrong things.  Like Stetler.  By the way, he's back," he offered with a smile. "Can I cap him this time?"

"No, nephew," Horatio said firmly. "That's my fun."

"Sure, Uncle H."  He hugged him around the arm.  Horatio sighed and stroked his hair, and it felt so *nice*.  "Oh damn."  He looked up and Horatio nodded.  "Well, dad would probably be pissed at that but at least I'm like the good side of the family."  He went back to his cuddling.

"Wait as long as you can for sex," Speed ordered.  "It'll be easier when you're in college to scratch that itch.  Especially if you're above a three."  Ray nodded and let it go for now. He'd worry later.  Speed grinned at Horatio.  "Xander did threaten he'd turn out like him if he kept skipping school."

"I'd hope he's not a level ten," Horatio said firmly.

"I'd hate to be the purring concubine kitty Xander is some days," Ray offered.  Speed grinned at that.  "Does that mean I can eat more chocolate?"

"As long as you try to eat a relatively balanced diet, nephew," Horatio ordered.

"Yes, sir."  He shrugged.  "I'm a teenager.  Pizza is balanced. It has all four food groups."  He yawned again.  "You're very comforting."

"Thank you."  He stroked over his hair again.  "You can nap or eat, Ray.  Pick one. You can do the other later."

Ray woke up and sat up so he could eat, making Speed grin at him.  "I am a teenage male.  My stomach overrules my need for a nap every time for the next few years."  Speed served him the bigger portion and he dug in, eating fast so he could have seconds.

***

Horatio walked up to where Yelina was pacing the next morning.  "I sent Ray to school this morning," he offered gently, smiling at her.

"Will he go?"

"He will be but I do have some bloodwork to run.  Come with me?"  She slumped and looked at him. "The indicators were there last night.  Let's see where he sits so we can make a few plans."  He walked her down to the lab and ran the bloodwork himself, taking the sheet when it came out.  He handed it over.  "He's still going to be normal," he reminded her.  "A few weeks after he's had sex the first time we'll have to test it again."

"Can't I put him in a chastity belt?"

"It won't help, Yelina.  He's low enough that a boyfriend or girlfriend will be enough for him as long as they understand and are a bit creative."  She walked off.  He went to find Ray, handing him the paperwork.  "For your friend Adam," he said quietly.

Ray looked then at him.  "Who?"

"Ray Junior."

"Bit early," he offered.

"He curled up and purred while cuddling last night, Ray."

"I'll send it on.  You warn her it's not official yet?"  He nodded.  "That's fine then."  He went to fax it to their house with a small note on the bottom, then he destroyed the original.  He ran into Yelina later.  "This means that we can tailor his studying to help him more. All of us are hands-on sorts, it'll help him study better."

She nodded.  "Is it certain?"

"Right now, no.  He'll need to go that final step to take a permanent reading.   Right now he could be hoarding hormones from stress or it could be a puberty surge. Or he could be holding them down due to everyone around him.  When he's tried it, we'll see again."  She nodded. "For right now, realize that he's going to need some wearing out.  He's going to like more hands-on things instead of books, most of us do.  Also, his tastes in clothes will probably change."

"Xander added to his savings account," she said grimly. "He can afford new clothes if he needs to, but I don't want him wearing silk and satin every day.  He'll get in trouble with the other students at school."

Ray grinned.  "My favorite outfit is a pair of jeans I've had nearly forever. They've been washed soft and smooth now.  That and one of Adam's sweaters or shirts."  She relaxed at that.  "Only Xander wears silk every day and the way he does it you don't even know most of the time. All his dress pants are silk.  Most of his dress shirts too."

"Which do look nice on him," she agreed.  "He'll get to be a normal boy?"

"Of course.   He may get a rep if his first girlfriend or whatever isn't doing it for him."  She rolled her eyes.  "It happens.  Most of us did have one if we had sex back in high school.  I had Stella, even back then.  She complained a lot about my needs and sometimes some alone time is good enough.  Especially if you combine it with some spoiling earlier like ice cream.  At his age it's not backrubs and clubbing.  It's ice cream and chocolate."  She smiled at that.  "He's a normal kid with a small switch in his body that screams 'give me chocolate now' every now and then. Watch him to see what help he needs.  Come to us.  Not like we weren't all there."  She nodded and gave his hand a squeeze before walking away to call her son.  He went back to his desk, finding it without a computer at all.  "Gee, another light day," he joked.

"Too many more of these and I'm going to change desks," Frank complained.

"Hey, get on their ass."

"Oh, I have.  And I called the Chief to complain that they're doing it to you and not all of us.  He wasn't amused either."  He looked up.  "How was Ryan?"

"I don't know.  Adam saw him after dinner last night. I haven't seen him since before he left yesterday.  I know Xander got rammed on the way home from that."  He groaned and Yelina looked over.  "We're not sure if it's case related or Xander related."

She listened to her son.  "Son, remember how he threatened to turn you into him if you skipped school?"  She smiled at his promise to quit skipping.  "We'll be talking tonight, son.  We'll work it out."  She hung up and turned around again.  "Is Xander all right?"

"As far as I know they should both be fine.  You'd have to ask the guys who live with them or near them."

"True."  She called Eric.  "Is Ryan all right?"  She listened to his complaint something was wrong.  "Should I ask Ray if his boy could come back over?"  She smiled. "That's fine, Eric.  Let us know, all right?  Right now, he may be babying Xander since someone rammed him on the way home last night.  I'm not sure.  I wasn't here when the call came.  I know Horatio took him home. That's fine."  He hung up on her and she hung up her phone.  "He's calling Xander and taking Ryan over there to check on his other student."

Frank looked at her. "Your boy?"

She sighed.  "He tested at a level four."

"At least you know he won't be like his daddy.  I've never heard of any of these guys doing drugs."  She nodded at that.

"Four's not so bad," Ray pointed out.  "It doesn't start getting difficult to work until you're a six, guys.   We do need to make sure he's seen the list however."  She nodded that he had.  "Good. One less headache he'll have."  He found a paper file on his desk and got to work on that, what he could.  He moved over to Don's desk to work from there for now, and couldn't log in.  "They took my ID and everything," he complained.  He stomped off to their supervisor's office to make a loud, lengthy complaint.  He didn't care if the patrol guys did start calling him Queen of the Detectives again.  This was going to have to stop!

***

Horatio walked into Xander's house at lunch, putting down the bag from the deli both boys liked to eat from, heading for where he could hear voices.  "I brought lunch."  He turned when he saw what Adam was doing. "Is that really necessary?"

"It did leave debris behind his eye.  It's trying to push itself out and it's not working.  He'll end up losing it if I don't," Adam told him.  "Thankfully I sedated him and Xander's very helpful."  He took the next instrument and carefully finished removing the eye and the tissue behind it.   He put it into a small dish beside him and watched as the blue lightening came out to heal the area.  Ryan started to wake up.  "Lay still."

"That feels bad," he complained, but Xander kept his hand from moving.  "I want to ...."

"You can't. You do that and it'll take longer."  He grinned.  "Now you know why I complained so much about growing back my balls."

"If that feels anything like my eye, I'll make sure you never lose them again, Xander."  He felt a stinging pain.  "Ow."

"There may have been a fleck of metal left," Adam offered, using the sterile bottle of contact lens solution to help him.  Ryan sighed and relaxed again.  "Good."  He watched as it finished coming in and then plumped out, turning to look at Horatio.  "It's all behind the outer covering now. You can look."

"Thank you for helping him.  Are they both going to be all right?"

"They are," he assured him, smiling a bit.  "It'll be fine, Lieutenant."  Horatio nodded at that.  "How long did the doctor say?"

"Four to six weeks."  Ryan gave him a begging look.  "Alexx may let you back within a few weeks," he pointed out.

"The Chief said she couldn't the last time she did it," Ryan reminded him.  "You and I both got chewed out for it, Horatio."

"True.  There's always the traveling Xander wanted to do."  Ryan groaned and nodded.  "With any luck, it'll be fine and you won't have to do it again, Mr. Wolfe."  He shuddered and clutched Xander's hands.  "Now, whet happened to Xander?  Ray said he kept fading."

"Your nephew is very nosy," Adam said but he was smiling.  "He did. It appeared he had a crack in his skull from when he was an infant.  It healed the new crack to that level until I came back and adjusted it to where it should be, then it healed it there."

"That's fine," Horatio agreed.  "Should Ryan have to do this again?"

"No.  I'm relatively certain I got all of it out of there," Methos admitted. "If not, he'll have the same pain and infection symptoms and we'll do what we have to so the last of the debris is removed."  Ryan gave him a horrified look.  "I'm very certain I got it all out.  The rest should be released through your tear ducts if I did."  Ryan nodded at that. "Now, you should rest while that heals.  It is a major trauma."

"Still feels like things crawling inside my head."  He looked at Xander. "I won't rub if you let go."  Xander hugged him instead, and you just had to smile.  "It'll be fine. Xander."

"I want the bitch who hurt you."

"So do I.  Boss?"

"Arrested," he assured him.

"The one who hurt Xander?" Ryan asked.

"We're searching for her.  We're still not sure if it's case or GHS related."  Xander gave him a horrified look.  "Which is why I want you both to go visit Jace and take that trip you wanted to.  It'd mean you were safer, Xander, plus Ryan could learn more about defending you and himself."

"But...." Xander started.

"Go," Adam assured him. He stood up and picked up the dish with the eye.  "We may even be able to give you two until the convention."  Xander looked at the calender on Ryan's watch then at him.  "I know.  Go anyway. Danny can handle Don and I can handle the rest."  Xander sighed and slumped, nodding.  "Go pack.  You can go to Jace's tonight."  They went to do that from the special clothes here.  He looked at Horatio.  "Are you sure it's necessary?  Eric could use the support."

"He'll have it from the rest of us," Horatio reminded him.   He licked his lips and looked upstairs then back at him.  "I'm not sure it wasn't someone trying to expose you immortals," he said quietly.  "They took over ten minutes to call it in.  It was called in by whoever hit him.  That would've timed it about right for someone to see him waking up.  When they got there, the officers said he was dead.  I explained it as very deep and thin pulses."  Methos sighed and nodded.  "If that's right then I want them both together and safe.  Xander doesn't need another emergency like that."

"He doesn't.  Even though he's handled some before," he pointed out.

"I know that.  The problem I'm seeing is if they know who is and who isn't. There's only a few people they can attack."

"And you can guard them easier.  Eric's the one with the unusual activity at the moment with his sister, that makes him more vulnerable."

"He already knows and he knows that moving these two out of the way leaves less vulnerable targets.  We can guard those three and Ray easier than we can those three, Ray, and these two.  That's too many to guard."

"So getting us out the way means that the police car that hit me yesterday will go after Eric.  You've told Eric this?" Xander asked.  Horatio looked at him and nodded.  "Because if he's got Marisol and she's hurt, he'll never forgive you."

"They wouldn't act with her there anyway.  She'd already know," Adam reminded him.  "You two we trust to be out on your own and able to watch for each other in case of danger," he pointed out.  "Eric needs to be here.  Danny and Don wouldn't leave and they can back each other up.  They have for years.  I know Danny was watching over Don in New York to see when he was going to be brought over on the job.  We'll stick Ray with one of them at all times since he's the weakest fighter of all of you."

"Don is," Xander admitted.  "He's not keeping up on his practicing."

"I can and will fix that.  Having you here leaves them without visible targets, Xander, but we can't send you alone.  You're a very high profile target.  Most of the PD knows you and knows where you live.  For them to attack one of others will take some work and they'll have to seriously work to expose them that way to the others.  Ramming you got that.  Ramming another police car and doing it that way won't.  They'll protect each other and discount it."

"So having me there would be ideal but with this new injury...."

"It blew the plans I had," Horatio agreed.  "This way is still better.  We couldn't have sent Xander off by himself.  Everyone would've known it was a trap.  They all think he's too delicate to fight."

"When in truth I'm about as trained as Ryan."

"Which means you can help them if it's someone like a Watcher coming back from the bad old days," Methos ordered.  Xander stared.  "Some of them did decide a purge was in order.  They wanted them gone because they thought the winner of the game would have power over humanity.  They used a guillotine.  I'm not sure if the quickenings were ever claimed by another. I know at least one of us was there with the group watching them.  He's not exactly the nicest chap so he may have."  Xander nodded at that.  "Therefore I want your back watched by Ryan.  You two work best as a team.  Eric works best alone. He's known as a hunter because he's taken down some of the criminal among us. That'll also give Danny and I time to work on Ray and Don without you two showing off how much better you are thanks to Ares' help."  They nodded at that.  "So, shoo.  Now.  Go see Jace."

"I'm taking jewels with me," Xander offered dryly. "That way I don't have to worry about money if we do go there."  He headed out to Ryan's car, letting him drive.  Though he did come back for the lunch.  "Thanks for feeding us, Horatio.  Love you.  Kiss my babies and watch over the furry ones."

"I will, Xander."  He smiled at the infectious nature of his excitement.  "He does like to travel."

"It's good for him.  He's seen much but only on the darker side of humanity," Methos agreed.  "Let me burn this to a crisp then we'll have lunch."

"Please not where I can smell it."

"Not an issue," he promised.  He went to put it into the furnace he found in the basement, then it disappeared.  "Thank you.   Please watch out for them and the ones here?"  He went back upstairs.  "Where is the dog?"

"Sleeping on the bed, like usual," Horatio offered with a small smirk.  "Now, how do we tell the others?"

"Easy, we conference call them."  He pulled the phone over and hit the conference button then the speed dials for the various folk. All but Eric answered.  "Sit," he ordered.  "It's important.  Someone get Eric if he's around."  He ate a bite of his sandwich, Horatio sitting next to him.

"What happened?" Speed asked.  "Eric's next to me."

"Let him listen in as well," Horatio ordered.  "We think the person who rammed Xander is trying to expose the non-GHS, special members of the group."  Someone moaned. "The fact is they called in the wreck ten minutes after they had caused it."

"Which would've been enough time for the officers to find him waking up if you hadn't thought fast," Eric agreed.  "Okay, H.  What's the play?"

"Right now, we've sent both boys to Jace's.  They're too visible.  Sending Xander alone is like a staked goat," Methos offered.  "Sending Ryan off without Xander would've made him pout.  This way we're in the preferred protection and hunting groups.  Eric, I know you choose to hunt alone."

"I do.  That's fine.  Jace's and then wherever the DPP officer was talking about?"

"If they can," Horatio agreed.  "While they're gone, Ray and Don are going to get their training expanded as well."

"I need it," Don agreed. "I haven't had the time or energy to practice."

"We're getting some help from New York early next month when they close that lab," Horatio reminded them.  "Our boss signed with them earlier today. It's a done deal, kids.  We can't let them know about this...."

"Small issue there," Danny offered. "Monroe's a halfie, Xander spotted it.  Sheldon's one of us.  Mac and Stella wear tattoos."

"Really?" Horatio asked.

"Really," Adam said with a smirk. "Part of Mac and Stella's job is to note what the others are doing."

"Interesting."

"Another point, Alexx's is very faint but it's there," Speed agreed.  "Eric found out during that insane person issue Xander had."

"Another interesting point," Horatio agreed.  "So, we know where we're going?"

"We do.  I've got either Don or Ray with me each case," Danny agreed.

"I've got the other one," Eric agreed.  "Or Speed does since he's been sparring with Ryan for some reason."

"Might as well. Swords are better than guns."

"Yours is clean, right?" Eric demanded.

"Eric," Horatio warned.

"Sorry, H.  Sorry, Speed."

"I'll hit you later," Speed assured him.  "Ray, where are you?"

"With Frank on the multiple bodies a few blocks apart.  We've got Calleigh and Alexx here right now."

"I'll have Alexx notified.  I'm not sure it's not another issue like the Watchers a few years back, boys," Methos said quietly.  "If so, we need to find the mole."

"Mole in the lab too," Danny reminded everyone.  "Any ideas?"

"A few.  It's a tech, not a full CSI.  That's all I know so far," Horatio offered. "I have Ryan working on it."  They all groaned. "He'll be back shortly," he promised. "He'll make sure Xander's safe and we'll help you with the pets."

"You can't have my dog, Horatio.  Speed, get him his own ferrets?"

"Sure, Don.  We've been talking about pets anyway."  He sounded like he was smiling.  "Anything else?"  No one said anything.  "Then we're on a scene.  Later.  Eat lunch, H."  He hung up.

"I'll have a quiet word with Calleigh," Danny agreed.  "She knows.  Valera knows too, I'm not sure how."

"A few years back Eric kept tripping and breaking his ankle," Horatio admitted. "She probably caught that or a paper cut."  He hung up on them all, looking at Adam.  "What if it's not a Watcher?"

"If it's GHS related, we'll know because they come after you or Don.  Or Ray.  If it's specifically related to Xander or Sunnydale, Jace will catch it and stop it for us."  Horatio nodded at that.  "Now then, eat.  You don't do that enough and he'll fuss if you lose weight."

"Speed does like to fuss."

"I meant Xander."  Horatio cracked a smile at that and did indeed eat more.

***

Xander walked off the flight and paused at the slot machine.  He was mad at the airline.  Ryan pulled on his arm, making him follow him.  "But..."

"No."

"Please?"

"No!"

"Fine."  He pouted all the way through baggage check and getting their swords free, then out to the car rental spots.  "We're going to Jace's," he sighed.  The man frowned.  "Small castle resort?  End of the strip?"

"The Olde World," Ryan offered, getting in.  Xander got in as well then got out and grabbed his wallet, then got back in, handing it to Ryan. "Where's the other stuff?"

"In my pack."  He looked at the bags, then at Ryan, who groaned.  "Hold on, we forgot one."  Ryan got out and went to get it, bringing it back.  "I'm sorry."

"I can charge waiting time," he promised, looking at him. "So, what's this place like?"

"Calm.  Quiet.  Restful.  It's not where you go if you want to gamble. It's where you go if you need to rest."

"I'll have to put that in her Chronicle."  He looked at him.  "Joe said to tell you two that it's not us as far as he knows.  He can't get hold of the old man to tell him."

Xander pulled out his phone.  "Baby, me.  Can you please tell the old guy that Joe said he doesn't think it's a Watcher?  Cabbie.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "It'll get back to him by tonight."  Ryan came back with his bag and a guard.  He let him in and shifted over.  "Need my ID?"  That got a nod so he let him see it. "Sorry, I'm a bit flustered. He got injured yesterday and I'm supposed to be making him rest," he said with his best soft and gentle voice, smiling at him. "His boss said so."

"That's fine, sir.  Here you go."  He handed it back with a smile.  "Have a nice day. You too, Joe."

"Thanks, Bob."  He sped off with them, changing the meter over.  "He catches a lot of you."

"That's okay it has my old address," Xander assured him.  The cabbie laughed at that. "I am a bit security conscious now and then."  Ryan gave him a pointed look.  "He's a Watcher."

"Who?"

"Eric didn't tell you about us?" the cabbie asked. "We're the ones who watch and chronicle what you do and don't do.  You guys don't have many of us in Miami."

"Mac's moving down," Ryan offered.  He laughed at that.  "Eric said something about tattoos and Mac, and seeing who's around us when we fight."

"That would be us," the cabbie agreed. "I'll have to let Joe know he and Stella are moving."

"Stella is?"

"Apprentice, Mac brought her in because having me, Danny, and Don together overloaded him," Xander admitted.

"Yeah but we like Sheldon. He seems like a winner and a nice guy.  Not too wild.  No overt problems like gambling or women.  Nice, sweet guy."

"He is but he'll still take a scalpel to someone," Xander assured him.

"Good.  That's how it should be for any man."  He pulled into the resort.  "Twenty-twelve, kids."  Xander handed him twenty five and they got out, making sure Xander got his wallet and his bags this time.  They headed inside and he pulled away to call Joe.  "It's me.  Well, saw Harris and Wolfe.  Jace's.  Oh, say that Harris said it's quiet, calm, and restful.  The place where you go if you want to rest and nap instead of gamble."  He smiled.  "I passed it  on to Harris, who called someone he called Baby.  No telling which one that was.  Oh, and did you talk to Mac yet?  Seems there's a rumor they're going to Florida.  The whole lab, Joe.  Yeah.  Oh, Bob saw Xander's old address.  I'm not sure it wasn't us, Joe.  I don't want to think it was but you never know.  Sure.  I'm here.  No telling if they're going to stay here.  Sure, I'll let you know.  I don't know.  Are you sure they're not together?  Wolfe had that boyfriend sigh down pretty well."  He grinned. "Sure.  Let me know."  He hung up and watched the resort until he got another call.  Neutral territory or not, those two came armed to fight something.

***

Xander walked up to the desk, smiling at the woman who smiled at him. "I saw you last time I was in.  We need to find a room or two.  Harris and Wolfe."

"Should I tell Jace?"

"Up to her rules," Ryan offered casually, looking around.  He nodded at the immortal coming down the stairs.  "Morning."

"It is.  You are?"

"Ryan Wolfe, this is Xander Harris."  He shook his hand.  "In on supposed injury leave back at work."

"It happens.  You do what?"

"I'm a CSI."

He nodded.  "Interesting.  Have fun in the city while you're here."  He walked off again.

Xander watched his back, then looked at Ryan.  "Was that a threat?" he asked quietly.  Ryan nodded.  "Well, pity for him."  Jace came out and he squealed, rushing over to hug her.  "Hi, we're in but we're using you as point to break our path."

"I heard."  She got free of the octopus and looked at him.  "You look very well.  What happened to the injury?"

"Some very mean person shot Ryan in the eye with a nail gun."

"Ow," she said, coming over to hug Ryan.  "Where are you two going, dears?"

"Strife said there's this realm where I can learn a self-defense style that'll work with how I move," Xander offered.  Strife appeared and nodded, sweating.  "Hot where you were?" he teased.

"Thinking about you doing that," he assured him, winking some.  "Hi, Ryan."

"Hi, Strife."  He grinned at him.  "Please make him behave while we're gone?"  Strife cackled and shook his head.  "I had to try."

"You did," he agreed, patting him on the head. "There's a few small things but they should come out without more eye removal."  He looked at the check-in girl.  "They'll only need one unless Ryan is going to let Xander order in sex."

"I'd prefer if he didn't," Jace said firmly.  Xander gave her a look.  "Are you GHS?"  He beamed and nodded.  "Who's your keeper?"  He cackled and so did Strife.  "Oh, dear.  You're the level ten Cupid was babbling about."  He nodded and beamed.  "Ryan?"

"Temporary and pro-tem."

"Of course you are.  Try, dear.  Really."  She handed them their room key. "Go play.  Xander, stay off the slots.  Your picture is with all the casinos.  They know not to let you play slots."

"I can go play baccarat though?"

"Go right ahead," she assured him, getting a bright grin.  "When are you planning on going?"

"I was going to call them tonight, make sure no one needed us back."

"Go," Strife ordered with a grin.  "Today.  You'll be back in a week."  Xander handed him everything but his pack and his sword.  Ryan did the same.  Strife waved a hand and sent them to their personal detective on the DPP.  He looked at her and handed her the bags.  "Put them away then come relieve some tension I've got.  It's gonna be *good*," he purred with a deadly smile before disappearing.  She handed the bags and key to a bellhop then followed after him.

***

Xander stepped out of the portal in the desert, stretching up and then out.  "Oh, I feel good."  He smiled at Ryan, who was giving him indulgent looks. "What?"

"You move differently now.  Your hair definitely helps with that."  He turned and waved at the officer, getting a smile and a wave back.  He made sure they had their things, going back for the extra bags.  And the new pet.  Then the swords.  They closed the portal after kicking one last thing.  He picked up the pet carrier and the baby dragon hissed.  "Tough shit, get in there.  That way no one can complain."  Xander slid it into the carrier and picked up his share of the things and his sword.  "Thank you."  He carried their original packs and his sword, plus the baby dragon.  "How far out are we?"

"I'm not sure," Xander admitted, looking at the GPS function on his phone.  He typed in an address and looked at it.  "Huh.  We're about four miles from Vegas."

"We've walked further before," he agreed, heading off the way the phone was pointing.  The dragon hissed and he looked down.  "You know, I wanted to leave you there.  I'd suck up to me.  I've got to explain you to the others."

"I know he won't eat the other pets or our friends and their pets.  That's what the charm on him is for."

"I can't believe you bought a baby dragon," he complained.

"Oh, whine, Ryan.  I needed something to pet besides you."  He saw an SUV go past.  "Hmm.  Look, it's your tribe."

"It is," he agreed, waving at them.  One paused and rolled down the windows. "Walking back into town."

"Need a lift?" he asked.

"No, we can make it.  Four miles?"

"To the Sahara."

"We can catch a cab there," Ryan said with a grin. "Thank anyway, man.  Have a good scene."

"You know us?"

"I'm a CSI down in Horatio's land."

"Ah.  Then you'd be Wolfe. He told us to watch out for you and Xander?"  Xander grinned and nodded.  "Get in, I'll give you a lift."

"We're going to The Olde World," Ryan protested.  "Other end of the strip."

"Not an issue. We're heading back now.  It's near to us."  They got in and he looked at the pet in Ryan's lap.  "What are you?"

"It's a baby dragon," Xander said happily.  He buckled up.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  So, Ryan, we heard you might be injured?"

"My eye's pretty healed.  Someone got me with a nail gun."  The driver, a nice looking African-American guy smiled and drove on.  "So, how is crime out here?"

"Cranky.  Two dead guys without heads in the desert late last night so we're just now getting done.  No ID on them.  We'll go around to all the resorts and see."

"Well, since you're dropping us off, you can check ours," Xander said.

"I can.  Thanks for reminding me," he agreed, smiling at him.  The dragon hissed.  "Hey, calm down.  I'm nice, I've even got on the air conditioner."  Xander reached forward and took the cage, making it calm down.  "That's one feisty pet."

"It won't hurt my ferrets or my puppy," Xander said happily.   Ryan looked back at him. "He won't."

"He'd better not.  Horatio will get mad if something happens to your ferrets since they love him so much."

"He needs to grow his hair out more."

"You tell him that.  I want popcorn when you have that discussion."  The driver laughed.  "So, you are?"

"Sorry, Warrick Brown.  I went down to your part of the world on a crossover case."  He called someone.  "Gris, I picked up two stranded guys walking back and I'm going to show the pictures we got at their resort since it's on the other end of the strip.  Sure.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "He said it was fine. Wait until I tell the others we finally got to meet you.  Greg will be envious."

"Danny's friend Greg?"

"I'll have to check.  Danny..."

"Messer.  Used to be NYPD then moved down to us," Ryan offered.  He looked back at the beast.  "How did you get him to sleep?"

"You picked on him about his scales shedding for two days.  He still loves you, Ryan.  Remember, he likes to curl up on your chest and huff at you while you sleep."

Ryan looked at Warrick.  "If you *ever* get a chance to have a GHS boyfriend, run the other direction." Xander swatted him.  "I'm not even his and now and then...it's just odd."

"Sorry.  You want normal, go date Marisol."

"Um, no.  Then I might have to compare since I'm dating her brother.  I'm not the slut Eric is, Xander."  Warrick laughed.  "Let me guess, you guys went out with Eric?"

"Part of the case led us to a honey bar.  It was nice, everyone there congregated around Delko."

"Yeah, they still do.  I'm his stress relief."

"It's gotta happen.  I've got one of those myself," he assured him, pulling into the parking lot of the station. "Let me drop what I'm carrying."  He got out and went to do that, logging it in. He found Greg staring outside.  "Do you know a guy named Danny Messer?" he asked him.  Greg smiled and nodded.  "I've got Wolfe and Harris with me."

Greg ran out and opened the back door, hugging Xander.  "Danny's said a lot about you," he said happily, getting in.  "I'll go back with you.  I'm off shift and bored.  If that's okay?  Oooh, a dragon," he said, letting it sniff him.  "Hi, dragon.  A girl or a boy?"

"A boy," Ryan said, grinning at him. "Hi.  You are?"

"Greg Sanders.  You must be Ryan Wolfe.  Danny's sent pictures but you had longer hair."  He shook his hand and Warrick came back shaking his head. "Do you guys mind?  They're going to coopt me and I'm already working on a third shift."

"Not an issue," Xander assured him, grabbing his bag and sword then closing the door again.

Warrick got in.  "Pretty sword."

"Thank you.  Handy thing too."  He opened the door and looked then glared at the small bag that had fallen out.  It floated back up.  "I do not know what in my wallet hates me but I need to figure it out."  He closed the door again and Greg took the sword to look at.  "I need to clean the blade.  Something attacked us a few days ago."

"That's fine."  He handled it carefully.  "This is pretty old."  Xander nodded. "It's in good condition.  Can you use it?"

"With a lot of skill," Ryan agreed.  "He and I both."  They nodded at that and Warrick drove them to their resort.  He walked in with the bags while Xander got his bags and the dragon.   He dropped them in front of the desk and hit the bell, bringing Jace.  "We're back and look what Xander adopted."

"Is it legal?" she asked.  "You look...  Like a dragon," she said, looking at Xander, who nodded.  "You brought a dragon back?"

"It's just a baby," he cooed, taking him out to cuddle him.  "See, he's adorable and he's sweet."  She sighed and petted him then Greg petted him. He didn't like Warrick.  "Eat meat recently?"

"I did have a burger a few hours ago."  He shrugged. "He'll learn to like me while you're here."  He looked at the woman. "Is there someone here I can ask about two mystery victims in the desert while they head to their rooms?"

"You can ask me, sweetie.  I'm Jace, I run this resort.  Boys, here," she said, printing off their room key and writing the room number on it.  They beamed and ran up the stairs to take a shower.  Greg followed more slowly but grinning at her. "Let's see if they're our guests."

"Thank you."  He pulled out the pictures.  "Some resorts aren't too friendly with the crime lab."

She nodded.  "I support law enforcement and I go to your yearly bachelor auction."  She smiled at him.  "I bid on you but they were rabid for you, Mr. Brown."  He blushed at that and she smiled.  "Being handsome and smart is the Greek ideal, sweetie.  Don't worry about it."  She looked then shook her head. "Not here.  I've seen them here.  They were in our shops.  You might try there."

"Thank you," he said, smiling at her. "Those two, they're okay, right?"

"They're fine.  They're just back from a short jaunt out of town.  Ryan's on vacation after an injury and Xander loves to travel so he came along."

"That's fine.  They seem like a nice couple."

"No, honey, Ryan's his backup keeper.  Xander's a member of GHS," she said at his confused look.  It didn't get any better.  "Oh, dear and the convention's going to be here in a few weeks.  You should've been told already.  Make sure your boss realizes this?  They're often taken and things."

"Sure.  I can do that.  Thank you, Jace."  He grinned and headed for the shops to talk to them.

She tapped her fingers on the desk, then called up there.  "Xander..."  He defended himself so apparently Greg wasn't in the room.  "Dragon?" she asked.  He sighed and defended that.  "You know what?"  She blinked.  "I want to see, young man.  Tonight?"  She smiled.  "Sure.  That's fine."  She hung up and went to make a note.  They weren't immortals that she had seen.  Xander had said no one said anything about a freak storm either. She'd impress how dangerous that was on him later.

***

Don smiled as he answered the phone.  "Flack.  Hi, Xander.  Are you back?"  He grinned at the babbling.  "Whoa, slow down.  Going faster than I can think."  He went back over it.  "Dragon?  Are you serious?"  Frank looked over at him, raising an eyebrow.  He shrugged back.  "Sure, I look forward to meeting the new pet.  Is Ryan there so we can check on him?  Still going.  Well, the convention's in two weeks, dear.  You could just stay there and we'll meet you?"  He smiled at that.  "That's fine.  I look forward to seeing what you learned too, Xander."  He grinned. "Sure.  Love you.  Let me talk to Ryan while you shower.  I'll tell Danny his friend is there.  He's around her somewhere."  Frank paged him getting a grin for it.  "Hey, Ryan.  Was he good?"  He listened to the short explanation.  Greg must be in the room.  "Okay.  Dragon?"  He nodded once then sighed.  "It won't eat us, right?"  He smiled at the description of the charm and Greg's voice in the background going off about how cool it was and the spell would work.  "Sure. No, why don't you guys stay there until the convention?  It's only two more weeks.  Still going.  Thanks.  Sure, here's Danny.  Greg."  He handed it over and went to thump his head on Frank's desk so Xander couldn't hear it at all.

Danny looked over.  "He heard that somehow from the bathroom.  He said you'll love the dragon."  He grinned. "Hey, Greg.  Long time no hear.  No, actually, Xander's mine so I'll be out for the convention.  What do you mean they didn't brief CSI.  Greg, Xander's a level ten GHS.  There's going to be about two thousand of members in your city in two weeks."  He smiled.  "I think you should, yeah.  Sure.  Dragon?"  He held his head. "Sure. I'm sure it'll be fine, Greg.  Thanks, man.  Yeah, about two weeks.  Watch over my boy for me.  Keep him off anything electronic.  Thanks.  Soon, yeah, lunch?"  He grinned. "Thanks, man.  Have fun with that talk."  He laughed and hung up then thumped his head on the desk.  "The dragon's charmed so it won't eat the ferrets or the dog," he said when someone patted his back.

"What dragon?" Speed asked.

Don looked over.  "Xander's new pet."  They just looked at him.  "Don't ask me, I didn't go.  They did say they ran into Warrick someone and a Greg?"

"We know Warrick," Speed assured him, going to call him.  "Warrick, my man.  I heard one of our own got back from some mild traveling and is back in your city.  How does Ryan look?"  He heard the story and grinned at it.  "Okay, take down this web address.  GHS.org.  Yeah.  When you get there, under log-in, type you PD's name, and under number type in your name and CSI.  Then go to the FAQ page and let Greg present it.  No, I'll be there.  Horatio and I go to watch over Xander with his people.  It's necessary.  Just read and you'll understand, man.  Sure.  Dragon?"  He listened to that then shivered. "We'll see when we get out there then.  Thanks, man.  Have a good one and an easy case.  Welcome.  And thanks for watching out for Xander for us.  No, you'll know.  Ryan with a sword is very pretty and Ryan with a sword helps get Xander back usually.  Yeah, that's why they have them.  Because Xander would pout if he had to shoot someone.  Sure.  I'll email you once you've read.  It'll explain a lot.  Ask Catherine.  She might know a few too.  Laters."  He hung up and put his head down on the table, shaking it.

Eric and Calleigh walked in. "They're back?" she teased.

"Xander brought home a baby dragon," he said into the table.  "He's met Warrick and Greg from out there."  Eric snickered so he looked at him. "Not funny.  They were coming in from a dual body in the desert without heads, Eric.  He said they were very helpful though."  Eric shuddered and went to call his boyfriend.  "Calleigh, you go tell Horatio."

"Yeah.  Right," she said with a grin.  She leaned out the doorway.  "Horatio, they're back in Vegas.  Xander has a new pet.  Speed talked to Warrick and someone else probably talked to them."  He looked out from his office.  She shrugged and pointed.  "He said I had to tell you."

"A pet what?" he asked, staying calm.

Speed came to the doorway.  "Warrick called it a baby dragon, H."

"A baby dragon," he said calmly.  "Uh-huh."  He went back to his desk, considering that implication.  Well, maybe he'd take the ferrets from Xander instead of getting his own.   That way they wouldn't be eaten or anything.

***

Greg smiled when Warrick drug him back into the station.  "What?"

"I need to look at this site and Speed hinted you might know about the convention coming up, Greg."

"Convention?" he asked hesitantly.  He laughed a bit nervously.  "What convention?"

"GHS?"  Greg stomped off swearing. "I want to know, Greg."

Greg got onto his computer and logged in, doing it the official way since he was at work.  Then he printed off the Frequently Asked Questions page and handed it over.  "All you should need to brief them."

"Speed suggested you do it."

"Speed's in trouble when I tell the National Head he told you I knew some," he said dryly.  He paged Grissom, who came in looking confused. "Did no one give anyone a memo on the convention in two weeks?"

"The one you're going to?" Grissom asked.  "Why would they?"

"The GHS convention?" Warrick said.  Grissom's eyes went wide and he took the sheet, then groaned. "Speed suggested Greg would do a better presentation."

"Gee, I wonder why," he said, glaring at him.  "Do you need a new Keeper, Greg?"

"No," he said hesitantly.  "I'm not that high up, Grissom."

"Bull, Greg.  Really."  Greg slumped. "Five, six?"

"Six," he sighed.  "Come on, we'd better go tell the others.  Speed still wasn't supposed to out me."

"He didn't.  He said you should give the talk," Warrick said.  "With some of your stories, I figured you'd know."  Greg glared at him. "So, who was that kid today?"

"Xander?  He's a level ten."  He walked into the break room since most everyone was in there.  He sighed and looked at them. "Is Catherine still here?"  Nick shook his head.  He called her.  "Catherine, do I need to go over anything on the GHS convention in two weeks for you?"  He listened to the silence.  "Catherine?  Are you alive?"  He grinned at her spluttering.  "Good."  He hung up.  "Okay, it got passed onto us, and onto my shoulders, that we're having a special convention in two weeks time."  Everyone gave him odd looks.  "Known as GHS."   Nick spluttered.  "I take it you saw a few in Texas?"

"One or two.  Why?"

"They're coming here in two weeks, Nick.  Why do you think we have to have this briefing?"

"Because only Vice knows," he moaned.  "I'll skip it.  I know it and the FAQ sheet by heart.  Anyone already here?"

"A level ten named Xander Harris.  From Miami."

"The one the Miami team asked us to watch over?" Sarah asked.

"Yeah, he's in with his backup protector, CSI Wolfe from down there.  Okay, this is the FAQ sheet.  Read it, know it, love it because they do.  GHS live on the pleasure principle.  Nothing that'll be going on there will be anything but consensual.  It probably won't be paid but they will probably be spending some time in our fine houses of ill-repute.  Well, and shopping.  Chocolate, shopping, sex.  It's all good to them and about the same.  These guys are also often kidnaped.  Like, for the higher levels, weekly."

"I've heard rumors," Sarah said, looking disgusted.  "They've got to be joking."

"No, and there's going to be two thousand or so hedonists in that hotel that weekend and probably a bit longer. All of whom are a kidnaping risk.  Including some cops.  I know a few who are in there and are cops.  A few who have protectors who are cops.  Xander has one of those out of Miami.  Ryan's his backup one actually.  Well, really, Xander's got a boyfriend that's a CSI, a protector who works Homicide, and then two backups besides Ryan in Horatio and Speed from their lab down there.  Considering they fight off about monthly kidnaping attempts for him?  It's a good thing."  He looked at Sarah, who was pale.  "Xander doesn't like to go out that often or it'd be more often that they happened.  Now, he's the worst case scenario of all of them.  The lower levels are just bouncy, happy hedonists who like their life and need the stimulation or their hormones are overloaded.  This is a *biological* condition. There's a hormonal trigger and then the pheromones flood everyone.  So, we may have rape cases from near the hotel if someone was out and broadcasting and didn't realize it.  A lot of these people have been taken.  A lot of them are very nice people who just enjoy life a whole lot while their bodies rule them.  They can't help being this way."

"There's got to be drugs," Sarah complained.

"There's a few herbal things but they also make them lethargic and lead to death, Sarah."

"I'd rather die."

"That's a choice they must all make.  The lower levels have one boyfriend or girlfriend and a lot of sex with them.  Eat a lot of chocolate, get a lot of massages.  They're mostly normal people.  The real trouble is the upper levels."

"Who often have to have more than one?" Warrick guessed.  Greg nodded.  "How many?"

"Guys like Xander often have at least two real boyfriends, or keepers, at least one more protector that they occasionally sleep with, and then a few on the side they call when they get surges.  Xander's, from what I hear, doing it with a boyfriend and a protector.  He's still surging as well. He was doing it earlier.  That's why you were so happy after that scene."  Warrick just nodded at that.  "So, needless to say, this is going to be an odd convention."  He looked at the rest of the group.  "From the way Nick looked and Catherine sounded, they've run into members before.  So have I.  I think Grissom may have because he had that knowing look again?"

"I have.  Back in college, during my undergrad, I played Keeper for a level five young woman I was dating.  They're normal people with a hormone condition."  Sarah still shuddered.  "I'll make sure you're on cases far away from them."

"Thank you.  Are we going to need to look for any homicides?"

"It's happened in the past.  It was a 'if I can't kidnap you, no one else will have you'," a voice said from behind Greg.  He grinned.  "Hi, CSI Wolfe."  He handed something to Warrick.  "You left those."

"Thanks, Wolfe."  He grinned at him.  "How bad will it be?"

"To those outside the hotel?  Probably not.  I've heard that a few members haven't done the work to keep their pheromones down.  Boston apparently had a problem a few years back about that.  Miami's people like to come in and watch. They tried to bust a few rooms but couldn't find a way that they were exchanging money.  It was some swingers within the group."  He shrugged.  "The cuddle room is always a bit hit.  That's one big pile of cuddle.  Nothing else is allowed in there."  Greg grinned and bounced at that. "I heard rumors of a room 318 that's for those who need it desperately and aren't getting it at home.  Again, consensual, no money changes hands, it's for those members who desperately need the sex to calm their bodies back down and wear out the pheromones."

"It can be worn out?" Sarah asked.

"Enough sex and everyone can be worn out so they quit putting out pheromones," he said honestly.  "I play backup protector for a level ten.  I've seen days when his two and him doing himself wasn't enough."  She gaped.  "That's ten, twelve hours later usually.  There's usually an officer's corner while we're there.  The protectors, the keepers, and the few who work in law enforcement all gather and talk about how hard it is.  The most common problem if it's not worn out is confusion.  So if you guys see Xander wandering, call me.  Or if he's trying to play anything electronic.  He's not allowed to."  He looked at Warrick again. "Can I help anywhere?  I'm bored.  Xander's playing with the baby dragon and it hates me."

"Sure. Think you could identify it by type of cut?"

"No, but probably by composition if you've got a flake."

"Let's see," he agreed.  "Grissom, this is CSI Wolfe, the one Horatio said was in town to recover."

"My eye's fine," he promised. "I'm bored and still on leave.  Horatio told me watch Xander until the rest of his protection detail could come out.  It'll give us a four day weekend with shopping and spoiling by Xander," he offered with a grin.

"I used to be a keeper. I understand.  Let's go see what we can do."  Ryan nodded, following him.  "So, Warrick said you two had swords?"

"It's a way of keeping Xander in shape and helping his self-defense.  A lot of us down there temp in as his protection detail so we do it now and then."

"Interesting."

"Horatio does the same thing when I give him facts that don't fit his mental puzzle yet."  Grissom smiled at that. "I'm just so bored," he admitted.

"I can understand that.  I hate being on injury leave as well.  What happened if it's not too personal?"

"Suspect was hiding in a closet with a nail gun.  Right into the tear duct," he said.  Grissom winced. "Yeah.  Even the drugs didn't help that much.  And it hurt more once it was gone for a while."  He shrugged.  "It's better now."  That got a smile and he was led into trace.  "Oh, lab sweet lab.  I miss my lab."  Hodges, the guy in there, gave him an odd look.  "I'm Wolfe, out of Miami's lab.  I'm out on injury leave and I know swords.  May I?"

"If Grissom says it's okay."

"It could help us find a suspect since the victims weren't at the usual hotel for people with swords."  Ryan looked at him.  "I have no idea why," he admitted.  "It's something we've all noticed over the years."

"Jace said they weren't guests."  He looked at the sample, then checked it again.  "Newer weapon.  Stainless steel.  I'd say a replica.  Maybe one of the reproduction from Xena or Hercules. Almost looks like a piece of a carving on the broken side."  Hodges looked. "I'm using something ancient.  Most of us there do."

"True.  How hard is it to get those?"

"Very easy," Hodges said.  "It's in the catalogs for both those shows."  Ryan nodded.  "Do you think we could match their stainless steel to this one?"

"Could be.  I don't know how they make them. That looked like it was pressed instead of pounded.  It's too regular."  He stiffened and looked around, then nodded at the young ME's assistant in the hallway.   "Hi, Ryan Wolfe from Miami's lab."

"Hi, my name's David and I'm the ME's assistant.  Helping on the beheadings?"  Ryan nodded.  "You should see the necks.  It was hesitation marks all over."

"Then it was probably a dull blade and they had to chop," Ryan offered.  "Which wouldn't lend itself much to a sword, but there were a few reproduction battle axes that I've seen.  Them, the people who do the Lord of the Rings reproductions."

"I'll see if I can track them down," Hodges agreed.  "You fence?"

"No, I'm a backup keeper for a level ten GHS.  That's how we help him exercise and learn his self-defense."  Hodges moaned and stared at him.  "Convention in two weeks."  He grinned.

Hodges looked at Grissom. "Greg's going, right?"  He nodded.  "Thank you, pray he finds a new keeper.  He's been without now for two damn years of annoying me."

"How did you know?"

"I roomed with one in college.  Longest semester of my life since they were always going off or eating chocolate.  Horribly noisy people."  Ryan grinned at that.  "A level ten?  She was only a level two.  How do they live?"

"With more than one of them," Ryan admitted. "That's why I'm the backup."

"I wish you much viagra.  Out of my lab so I can have my headache now?"  They all left him alone to moan in peace.  Maybe he would hide those days so he didn't have to see his former roommate.  Not that she'd remember him. Or how he had been misfiled as a female student for his first and second semesters.

***

Xander walked into the hotel where the convention was and smiled at the girl behind the desk.  "Hi, I'm in for the GHS convention and I was wondering if I could check in early?"

"Name, sir?"

"Harris.  Xander Harris.  Should be four rooms booked under that name.  It's my protection committee.  One of them will be here later today."

"Well, I see one of the rooms, the lesser suite, is presently taken.  The bigger one isn't yet.  I could put you into that one since it's listed as you and two others staying?"  Xander nodded. "I see we have your card on file.  I'll go ahead and let you into your room today and the others when they check in, how about that?"  She smiled and he beamed.  "It says here there may be a special needs?"

"How do we feel about pets?  I've got one with me. I was just traveling and can't make it home before the convention.  It's not furry if it matters.  It's leash and outdoor trained too."  She nodded and typed that in.  "Extra deposit?"  She nodded. "That's fine.  Put it onto this card," he ordered, handing one over.  "It's new."  She smiled and ran it, putting into the account.  Then she handed him the card.  "Thank you."  He leaned over and hugged her.  "Now, security?"  She pointed.  "Thanks."  He bounced that way, finding the door.  He tapped on the window and someone came to see what he wanted.  "Hi.  I'm Xander Harris. I have a file with the gaming board that I'm not supposed to play anything electronic because I get this funny feeling when things are going to hit.  Are we going to have a problem if I play card games?"  The man let him inside and looked him up in the database.  "Is that the one from Mississippi as well?  I got vindictive since they were trying to kill me and they were running an illegal immigrant sex ring."

"It is," he admitted, reading over it again. He called his boss.  "Boss?  Please come here."  He hung up and his boss came in a minute later.  "This is Mr. Harris."

"Hi," Xander said, shaking his hand.  "I have the unfortunate gift of knowing when slots are going to hit.  I wanted to make sure there wouldn't be a problem if I played card games."

"Why are you in town, sir?"

"The GHS convention. I'm a level ten," he said with a grin.  "I'll stay off the slots.  Though now and then I will tell anyone who asks which one to play."

The man looked at the file, then at him.  "Mississippi?"

"They were running an illegal immigrant sex ring out of the ship and they tried to kill me.  I got a bit vindictive."

"I see."  He looked it over again then nodded.  "I had better not see you anywhere near the electronic games, young man."

"It's not like that.  It's not like I'm cheating. I have the same gift for stoplights."  They stared at him.  "Seriously."  He walked him out there and looked around then spotted one being played.  "Hers.  Within five, six, seven pulls," he said quietly.  "The one with the pinstripes and flowers together."  They watched and her seventh pull it hit a jackpot.  He looked at him.  "I do that."

"I'd rather you not point it out to anyone and stick to the card games."

"Baccarat and poker," he promised with a grin.  "Thank you."   He hugged him.  "I'm going to get my stuff from Jace's."  He went to do that, and Ryan's stuff as well.  The dragon was a bit harder, he was down in the kitchen staring in wonder as the meat was cooked.  He snatched it and walked off.  "How many times have I told you not to bother people while they're working?  Someone could say something to him and make you go to the pound or something."  He came down with everything and the bellhop, the dragon back in his cage.  He kissed Jace on the shoulder.  "I'm going to enjoy the pre-convention."  He beamed. "I'll send Danny over. He could use the break.  Conventions give him headaches."  He checked out and paid his tab then walked out to get a cab.  Jace sent her personal car around and he smiled and waved.  Then they were off.   He showed the bellhop his room key and got help moving everything up to his suite, putting the dragon down as well.  He went to sniff everything and Xander got him a litterbox from the gift store.  Then he went to cash out some of his money and go gamble. He liked being evil on the table.

Is Good For A Boy.

Xander looked up when someone tapped him.  "Just a minute," he ordered, looking at his cards.  He bet on the house and won that hand.  He frowned. "I've had the worst luck this week."  He tipped her and turned around, smiling at the security person. "Did he get out?"

"He did, but he's very happy with the steak you paid for and fed him."  He handed the dragon back.

"Sorry, I tried.  I even put a note on the door.  He's a sneaky guy now and then.   He'll get along really well with my ferrets."

"He probably will."  He smiled.  "Not going your way this week?"

"No."  He pouted.  Then he looked at where the dragon was patting.  "What?"  It patted again.  "That?  What's that?"  He looked then at him.  "That's a good idea."  He smiled at the security guard.  "I'll put him back.  Thank you."

"Welcome, Mr. Harris. Come play later."  He smiled as he walked off.  "It's a very smart whateveritis," he told the dealer, who was looking a bit confused.  "He calls it a baby dragon.  Looks like someone bred two types of lizard together to me."  He shrugged. "How did he do?"

"Crappier than he did yesterday.  It was like someone turned off his luck switch.  Then again, he won about ten grand the other day on one hand in the high stakes room when I was dealing."  She grinned. "He gave me a nice tip as well."  He smiled at that and walked off.  She liked watching him play.  Xander came back an hour later smelling freshly scrubbed, like candles, and without his pet.  He had even changed clothes and put his hair up with new hair sticks.  He sat down and put down two chips, one on each side.  The cards were dealt and he bet on himself, then tapped for another one. She dealt and he smiled, flipping them over.   She paid him and kept paying him for the next four hours. She did get rotated out when he kept winning but the floor supervisor saw he was mostly betting on the house.  That's how you won at baccarat. It was loaded toward the house.

***

Xander looked up from his poker hand when arms went around his neck, smiling at the man back there.  "Hi, Tumie.  Last hand for me," he sighed, flipping over his cards.  The dealer flipped hers.  They tied but she was under the 'must take a card' limit, making her go over.  He accepted his chips and flipped her two nicer ones, then gathered up his cups and headed back to the elevator.  "Come on, Tumie."  He followed, smiling and waving at some of the others already in.  Xander looked at him. "The IRS hates me because of your stuff."

"I told you it was yours."

"They didn't like that any better."  He walked into his room and smiled at Danny and Don, handing them the chip tubs.  "Hold those.  Did you bring the blue book?"  Danny dug it out and handed it over.  Xander turned and handed it to him.  "That's from your stuff that I could sell. The others are in a bag in the garage again."  He sighed.  "Tough. Use it to spoil your keeper or give it to charity before the IRS decides I'm kibble.  Please?"  He nodded.  Xander hugged him.  "How are you liking being home?"

"I miss being thought of as a demigod," he admitted.  "I miss the worship.  I missed my keeper while I was gone so it's good.  He still loves and accepts me."  He kissed Xander on the cheeks.  "I'll do this if you use that to spoil your boys."

"Oh, I plan on it," he agreed happily.  Tumie laughed and left.  "Horatio's around here somewhere," he called.  Tumie grinned before shutting the door.  Xander turned and pounced his boys into the ground, cuddling them.  "I love you two and I missed you.  I have shit to show you that'll rock your worlds," he promised.  A warm nose came over and he grinned.  "These are Danny, in the glasses, and Don, the one without the glasses."  The dragon sniffed them then nodded and snorted some steam before walking back to his window seat.  He grinned at them. "He's smart too."  He stole kisses.  "Let me change and I'll dance for you two."

"Sure," Don agreed. "Help us up?"  Xander helped them up then went to shower and change.  He looked at Danny, then at the chip tubs. They went and found the others, putting those two with them in the safe.   They'd talk to him about cashing those out later.  Danny pulled one out to do an estimation, then groaned and put it back.  Xander came out in some really tight leather pants with a sword.  They sat down in the chairs in front of the area he had cleared for them.  Then he began to move...  It was nothing they had ever seen before.  Don didn't even realize he had undone his pants until he hissed when his hand hit his cock.  "Jesus, Xander."  Xander shot him a grin and turned, then bent backwards to dance that way for a few seconds before straightening up and doing more with his hips. Don's hand sped up, he could feel the burn in his arms, but his cock was in agony.

Danny came and went limp, staring at him.  "How many hours is that stuff?  Ryan said it was a storyline."

"There's about eighty hours of stories," he admitted, shifting into a different one, more sensual and summoning.  He pulled Don up to teach him, making him moan more as his body shifted.  "Keep going.  It'll feel natural soon."  Don swallowed air but kept up with him, doing what he could of what he saw.  He finally got to come without even touching himself, just from the dancing.

Ryan came out of his room in his boxers.  "I see you did some of it for them.  The main one or the secondary one?"

"The main one.  About halfway though the third.  The first part I learned."  Ryan just nodded and went to get some ice, coming back and handing the pot to Danny, then he went to take a cold shower.

Don flopped down, staring at him.  "You'll have to show us from the beginning, Xan."  Xander smiled.  "We should show Speed and Horatio."

"I met a nice level four here and I showed him.  I even taught him a few of them," he said proudly.  "I can teach Horatio.  He did good with the belly dancing."  He went jogging down the hall, tapping on their door, grinning at Speed.  "Come see what I learned."

"I was going to give him a backrub."

"I made Ryan get Danny an ice bucket for his cock without touching him."

Speed considered that statement.  "Okay, I want to see this."  Horatio moaned.  "You too.  If it's not that great, I'll use his bed and get it oily."  They walked back there with Xander, who had to knock to be let in.  Xander sat them down in a chair he turned around then sat Don back in his chair, starting from the beginning.  Speed stared and stroked his mate's claim marking.  Slowly, gently, just teasing it.  Then the dancing got more erotic.  The stroking went lower and he ran into another hand, moving it out of his way.   He shifted Horatio around so he could rub against his rear while he rubbed him.  Then he got into his pants and rubbed him from inside, making him moan.  Xander did something with his hips and it was too much for Horatio's mind, he came.  Speed came from that sight and went limp, watching as Danny's cock rose even with ice surrounding it.  Don's face looked painful but he was enjoying it.

Ryan came back out and sighed then took the ice and drenched Xander, making him shriek. "Sometimes he gets lost there too."  He walked off to get more ice and tell the other two to come up and watch.

Speed gulped air.  "Can you teach Horatio that?" he asked.  Xander beamed and nodded, pulling Horatio up to teach him how to do that, once he had one back up his pants.  Because no one got to see him hanging out but him.  He watched as they went over the dance Xander had ended on.  Don came over to help too once his pants were rehitched by Danny. Speed waved Methos and Ray inside, pointing.  "Watch."  Xander showed them the basic moves then started to move for their pleasure again.  Methos sat and missed the chair, Ray finding it and letting him rest against his legs.  They all stared in awe as Xander moved and taught the other two how to do what he was doing.  He heard Horatio start to pant and got up to retrieve his boy, taking him into the bedroom and slamming the door.

"Don't make me sleep in a wet spot tonight," Ryan called.  "Please!"  He looked down as the dragon came over, smiling and picking him up.  They had made peace together. He went back to watching Xander.  "Do the other arc, the more sexual one," he ordered.

"There's one that's *more* sexual?" Danny demanded.  Ryan grinned and nodded.  "How in the hell!"

"This leads to their self defense," Ryan admitted.  "With the sword, Xander."  He started to work with the sword while he danced, making Don go back and sit in Speed's former seat.  He grinned.  Ray gave him a helpless look.  "I gained some immunity watching him practice.  Turn around it's about to get better."  They all watched as Xander mimicked being taken away and then fighting back.  Methos moaned at how he was moving.  Then Xander moved more sexually again, making them all get off when he mimicked sex, him being on the bottom by the look on his face.  They all looked at him.  "I gained some immunity, not total," he defended.  He got up to get them some water, leaving one in beside the other bed before hurrying out.  Then he sat down again, handing the dragon over to Danny.

Danny looked at him.  "Not what I want to hold at the moment, but hi again." It huffed him then got down and went to nudge the daddy, making him coo and bend down to pet him.  Danny snapped and grabbed Xander, bringing him into his lap to kiss. "Out of the pants, Xander.  Before I rip them."  Don came over to help and they got him between them.  Don got his ass but Danny got his mouth and it was great!  Ray and Methos were on the couch and going at each other as well.

Ryan grinned at the dragon.  "Come on, let's take some of daddy's chips and go play slots."  He grabbed some of Xander's clothes and walked off with the dragon on his leash.  He ran into Greg and kissed him on the cheek.  "He was showing them some.  It ended up in an orgy."

"Yeah, I can see why."  He grinned and petted the dragon.  "Hi, Hubert."  He looked around.  "Where's everyone at?"

"Checking in with jet lag. Things start in an hour.  He and I are going to play slots if you wanna come help."  Greg shrugged and followed him going to have fun.  Of the security guys gave him a look.  "They're showing off the dancing stuff," he offered.  The guard moaned.  Xander had shown Tony some last night when he had gotten in using the meeting area.  He sat down and changed the chip for coins, putting his room key into the machine then going for it.  Greg looked at his.  "Do two down, Greg."  Greg sat down to gamble there.  "I'm loving this comps thing.  Free dinners are great."  Greg grinned at him and nodded.  "Not chatty?"

"I saw my former keeper and he's still a bitch."

"Come to Miami, maybe you can find a nice guy down there."

Greg smiled.  "You think you guys have an opening?"

"They're talking about splitting off a new felony lab."  He winked.  "We got some of the people from New York down.  Stella would love you."

"Sure."  He pulled a handle and won, making him squeal and bounce around.  "I never won before!"

Ryan just grinned and continued to play his losing game.  The floor manager walked over.  "No, I can't get his gift by letting him cuddle," he offered.  "The dragon's lucky and he pointed it out."  He looked at him and shrugged. "He's Xander's pet and if I was going to do that, I'd have taken that one."

"Fine."  He walked off to make notes on that.  He came back.  "Can you please get your protectee to cash out sometime soon?"

"Sure," Ryan agreed, calling up there.  He got a grumbling from Don.  "Make him cash out sometime tonight and remember the one in your bedroom and mine."  He hung up and went back to playing.  Greg came back with his money and an ice cream cone.  "It time?"

"It is.  Play a few more hands.  Maybe you'll get lucky too. The dragon seems lucky to me."  Ryan grinned and played a few more hands, then hit one, a minor one.  He sighed and fed it two more times until the announcement was made.  Then he hit a first pull.  Nothing.  Second pull.  Nothing.  Third and last pull.... well, he wasn't sure with the alarms going off and things.   "See, told you the dragon was a symbol of luck and strength."

"Wow.  On my own too," Ryan said in awe.  They gathered things up and led him to cash out, the security manager giving him a dirty look.  "I was killing time. I did three last pulls before I got up at the announcement.  I was going to do two more.  What did my buddy's dragon win me?"  They sighed and handed over the cash, making him smile.  "Wow.  Wait until I brag to the lab at home."  He tucked it into his pocket and looked at the dragon.  "Let's go make sure daddy knows the convention's started then we'll come down."  He walked off with Greg licking his cone beside him.  He saw a frantic look and coughed.  "Xander will be right down."  She smiled at that and held up the list. "Them too.  Adam's in our room."  She relaxed at that.  He went up there then knocked before walking in. "Adam, you're supposed to give a speech in ten minutes," he yelled.

"Bloody hell, not like I can think," he complained from where he was laying on the floor.  He pushed himself up and went to change, dragging Ray with him.

Ryan walked into the trio's room, grinning at the pile of arms and legs.  "Guys, convention's started."  Xander hopped up.  "Xander, they wanted you to cash out the dressers at least.  Sometime soon?"

"Sure.  Let me empty something to carry it down in."  That got a nod and Ryan went to knock on his door and get the other couple up.  Don looked up at him.  "What?" he defended.  "I even lost for almost a week straight."  He emptied his backpack and started to load chips into it from the bedside table.  Danny moaned at the sight of the semi-full drawer.  "It was getting too heavy to move."  He finished in there and then got Ryan's pack undone and emptied, taking it to undo his sock drawer as well.  Not as many in there.  He handed it to Speed.  "Can you pour the bedside table drawer in there?"

"I saw that."  He kissed him on the forehead.  "Behave."

"I do try," he offered with a grin.  He slid back into his leather pants and put on a shirt, taking both backpacks and the dragon from Ryan.  "Come on.  You can even walk with the daddy and show off.  Oooh, collar.  Why did he put that collar on you?"  He took off the plain leather one and put on the sapphire studded one and the blue leather leash.  It took good advantage of the undertones in his scales.  He hefted both backpacks down once he had on shoes, he had gotten yelled at for that once, and let his dragon lead the way down. "Adam, speech," he called next to his door.  Then they headed down.  They got met at the elevator by two of the security guys.  "I've even got on shoes."

"Congratulations," one agreed. "How many is that?"

"One bedside table, my sock drawer and part of Ryan's?"  He shrugged. "I don't know.  I'll cash out more later."  They nodded and walked him over there, letting him cash out and then they walked him back up there with bags to get the rest when the floor manager stared them down. Xander put the money in the safe once they had taken the tubs of chips.  Then he had to go wake up Horatio again to get the rest of those from Ryan's room.  He escorted them back down, letting them cash them out and hand him the money.  "So, later?" he asked with a bright grin.

"Sure," one agreed "Give us a chance to win some back."  Xander beamed and handed Danny the money when he came down, making him give him a dirty look.  "Just baccarat for two weeks straight, sir, and he did lose for most of one."  Danny headed into the meeting area, getting his nametag.  Xander got his from the pile with a wink, making her smile.  She had met him last night.  Don got his.  They went to listen to the end of Adam's speech about the importance they had in society. He clapped at the end.

"Yes, you may teach others what you have recently learned, Xander," he said, smiling at him.  "We'll add you to the schedule."  They all started to look interested.  "Perhaps you'll give a show first?"

Xander beamed and nodded.  "Sure, Adam. Happy to.  Tony, wanna help?"  Tony moaned but nodded. "Cool.  Don?"

"No, I'd embarrass myself.  Have fun."  Xander beamed and Adam gave them the stage so he and Tony could dance.  Xander took off his shirt and Tony sighed, taking off his, showing the new bandage.  Xander kissed the boo-boo, making many people smile, then they started off.  The smiles turned to lust.  Then to groping.  Then to a few couples doing more than groping.  Then to whole rows doing more than groping.

Except for this one guy in the back.  "Fascinating.  Somewhere between belly dancing and tribal dancing," he told himself.  "It also looks like he's learned some self-defense from it.  I wonder if Greg can do that."  He looked around then at Greg.  "Go help him, Greg.  Let's see if you can."  Greg blushed and gave him an odd look but went to do that with the duo.  More people caved and went to beyond groping.  That proved his hypothesis right.  Greg plus Xander equaled bad trouble.  He came to steal Greg before anyone else could, but had to let him go when something bit him on the ankle.  Someone when he looked down.  Greg was quickly drawn into the pile with the others and besides a small yelp of pain he was apparently having fun. He knew everyone had to test clean every year or else they were banned from attending the conventions.  No one wanted an accidental exposure to a venereal disease.  He walked out and shut the doors, looking at the officers.  "Things got a bit heated.  They're having a fully consensual orgy for the next half an hour.  Then they're onto the snacks and meet and greet new friends event."  He walked off, going to take notes on what he had seen and draft a letter to Xander asking that he tape them for him so he could study the movements.

The officers all looked at each other. One from behind them coughed. "Guys, that was Grissom.  He still runs night shift in the crime lab."  He opened the door, letting them see the dancing.  "I can see why there's an orgy."  They all moaned and only one wanted to go stop it.  He got growled at by the dragon and backed off, running away.   Nick looked down.  "Hi, Hubert.  Is daddy having fun?"  He petted him then closed the doors.  "Set a guard," he ordered. "It's the only thing we can do.  I doubt a fire hose would work."  He walked off, going to get a beer from the bar.  He could use a cold drink now.  One of the Vice officers came in begging for one.  "How long did you watch?"

"Watch my ass! I was in there, Stokes!"  He gulped his beer.  "I've got to call my boss.  This isn't anything worse than the swinger's convention."  Nick bought him a second round, getting a grin and a nod in thanks, then he went to call his boss from a corner, hissing as he sat down.  He watched as some wobbled out to their rooms to clean up and come back for snacks and gossiping.  At least everyone was going to be wrung out by the end of the convention.  He knew at least one department had people watching.

***

Xander bounced down off his gambling high and took his chips up to cash them out since the table had to ask for another tray.  He beamed at Tony and Greg when he found them.  "I should make you my high priests and first teachers," he teased, hugging them.  "I've even got them on tape."  Greg gave him a hard hug.  "Come on.  I had someone copy them for you guys."

"Are you sure, Xander?  I don't have much time to practice."

"Yeah, but what if someone wants to learn and I'm not there?" Xander offered, grinning at him. "Plus you saw how the self-defense moves were added into it."

"I did.  It's an ingenious way to do that."

"Better than Tai-Bo," Greg agreed. Tony grinned and gave him a head shove.  "It is.  All I got from that was a groin pull."  They followed Xander upstairs and got their DVD's, making them happy boys.  "Thanks.  Should I share them?  I saw Grissom in there."

"If he wants.  I'm not sure why he wants to.  I'll refer him to you if he asks."

"Thanks."  He stole a kiss and headed down to his room to watch the whole set.  He'd have a late dinner tonight.

Tony took his and kissed him too.  "I should move to Miami if Baltimore doesn't work out."  The dragon looked at him and steamed.  "You think the next one will be better?"  It steamed again.  "Okay."  He hurried off to put up the precious tapes then get happy in the cuddle room.

Don lifted his head. "I saw those kisses."  Xander came over to share them with him, getting a smile back. "Were you more evil at baccarat while we napped?"  Xander nodded and put that in the safe with the other envelope.  Danny's envelope wasn't in there.  Xander looked around.  "It's still in his pants pocket."  Xander went to search for it, putting it into the safe.  Then he came back and hauled him up.  "Sure, we'll go cuddle in the cuddle pile."  He let himself be led downstairs and into the cuddle room, piling in.  It was very soothing and he nearly fell asleep in there again but the monitor woke him and gave him a fond look.  "I know."  He got out and headed to get something to eat.  He desperately needed food.  He ran into Ray nibbling.  "Will we have to make a special category for Xander?  Maybe a level eleven?"

Ray grinned.  "Nope.  The top limit is boundless according to Adam when someone else asked him that.   Xander proudly caused the first spontaneous orgy in four conventions and the earliest in the convention schedule."  He saluted him with his bottle of water.  "It's a record to be proud of."

"I'm damn proud I've survived this long.  Could doing this raise my level?"

"We were going to retest you and Horatio anyway," he promised.  He licked his fingers and looked around.  "Adam?" he called, waving him over when he looked.  He came back and hugged Don.  "He thinks we should make a new 'Xander' category and retest those who learn."

"I can definitely do that second one.  We already knew there was a special category for Xander's.  I do hope he made tapes."

"He gave Greg Sanders and Tony DiNozzo a set.  Called them his high priests too I think.  Either that or he's worn me out so much I'm now telepathic."  Adam got him lunch and he gratefully ate it.  "Where's Danny?"

"Jace's," Ray said with a grin.  "Escaping the madness was what he said when he left.  Ryan?"

"Napping it off again.  How did he manage Xander alone?"  They shrugged and nibbled their way through lunch.

***

Danny poured tea for his teacher.  "I don't know how Ryan did it, Jace.  Xander's so needy right now, I'm about to take him to be worn out at a whorehouse.  There's no way I can. He's nearly driven all the other members insane.  He started a spontaneous orgy for God's sake," he sighed.

"Aphrodite and Cupid were *quite* pleased," she said dryly, saluting him with her cup of tea.  "He'll calm down once he's home, Danny.  Remember, he's still got to do some shopping.  Have him do that this afternoon."

"Only if we can wake up everyone."  He finished his first cup and poured more, calling Don.  "Shopping?  Yes, that was a suggestion to wear him out.  Go wake up Speed and H then.  They're probably in the spa. Come get me at Jace's when you're going."  He hung up and looked at her.  "Don must've eaten.  He sounds human again.  Speaking of, where did they get the dragon?"

"He didn't tell me.  Strife?"  He appeared, looking quizzical, yet amused. "Where did your evil twin get the dragon?"

"I couldn't pull off the hair, Jace."  He smirked.  "The same place he learned how ta dance.  It's great self-defense work."

"It is," she agreed.  "Even I could follow that much.  I'm guessing teaching horny teenage males how to do that helps in all areas of their life."

"Then maybe we'll let him teach Horatio's nephew."  His phone rang and he grinned at it. "Speed does know when we talk about them. "Yeah, Speed?"  He grinned.  "No, but you went telepathic there.  No.  They teach the dancing as self defense.  To horny teenage guys...."  He laughed at the loud demand that their nephew never see that stuff.  "Sure, but it's good at teaching self defense and it's athletic."   He giggled at the on-going protests coming from Horatio.  "How about if we show Yelina? Get her off your case?  No, it was suggested we do the shopping things today if you two could get up and clean up."  He snickered. "I'm at Jace's.  Come get me, guys."  He hung up and shook his head. "Sorry, they're both very adamant.  Even if Yelina agrees Ray Junior can't learn it."

"That's okay.  Others are going to want Greg for them," Strife said with a wink.  "Make him go to my shop, please?"  He faded out, leaving his grin there.

"There's a scary thought.  Xander dressed like one of them," Jace said, looking amused.  "I can't really see him in the leather catsuit look."  Danny moaned at that.  Her phone rang and she reached back to grab it.  "Yes, darling?"  She smiled at the assertion Xander could pull it off, even with heels like Prince did.  "Anything else.  That's fine, I'll release him for now.  He can come back for dinner or breakfast.  Of course, Cupid.  Can you downgrade his hormones?"  She smiled. "Of course they will once they get home.  Thank you, dear."  She hung up. "He agreed with me, it'll be better when he gets home and they're here for you."

"Been great, Jace, thanks for listening to me whine.  See you later tonight," he offered with a grin, heading out to join them.  Xander was nearly vibrating. "Strife said you had ta go to his shop."

"Sure," he purred, taking a kiss.  Their driver ignored them and went on.  He took them to his favorite shops and let them use their gift certificates from his last trip this way, plus any holiday present ones like Horatio's extra one to Armani.  It was a great shopping trip and Xander wasn't bouncing by the time he got back.  Even if Don didn't know why he got a lilac leather body suit.

***

Frank looked up as the group came back from the convention.  "All night seminars?" he teased.

Horatio looked at him, not even bothering to take off his sunglasses.  "Xander found a whole new way to express himself and learn his self-defense, Frank.  He showed it off and showed me.  I'm going to take a quick nap in the office so Speed has to leave me alone," he offered with a smile.  He walked in there and shut the door, finding Mac at his desk.  "Good, you do paperwork."  He laid down on his couch and put his sunglasses behind him. "Do not let Speed come in here."

"Been randy all weekend?"

"I don't know if he changed his name or not, but I have tapes of what Xander can do and it drove him insane," he said quietly.

"Grissom said there was an orgy during the greeting ceremony.  Something about dancing?" Horatio moaned and flipped to face the sofa's back.  "That good?"

"Tape's in the bag in the back of the hummer.  We all stayed with Xander last night because we were too tired to drive, Mac.  Do not let anyone see it."

Mac got up to go find it, bringing it back inside past the babbling Ryan.  He walked back to him and plucked off a scale.  "The new pet?"

"Hubert," he agreed, taking it back with a grin.  "He's a baby dragon."

"Sure," he agreed, nodding at that.  He knew what Komodo dragons were.  He had seen a few during his active duty times.  He went to kick Cooper out of AV and watch the film, staring in shock after the first few minutes.  Someone knocked and he turned it off, finding Cooper staring.  "You weren't supposed to see that."

"Damn," he said in awe.  "Was that Xander or his boneless evil twin?"

"Xander is his own evil twin," Ryan said from the doorway. "There's approximately eighty hours of those.  It's to teach self defense and it's a story telling dance.  Don't ask me to try, I can't.  Any GHS member above a level two apparently can."  He took it back and went to put it under Horatio's glasses.  That way no one else could see.  Then he snuck out and closed the door again, finding Speed standing there. "He's sleeping, let him."

"Fine," he mumbled, walking off.

"Horatio handed Mac one of the tapes."

Speed gave him an evil smirk and went to find Stella. "Hey," he said, making her smile.  "Mac was just watching something on Xander's new dancing and self-defense style.  It's pretty good and it's great exercise if you're limber."

"I should try that."  She went to ask Mac, finding him replaying the security tape of him watching it.  She blinked.  "Replay that?" she squeaked, eyes wide.  He moaned.  "Please?  Speed told me I should see."

"From what Horatio said, Speed need paddled."  He replayed it, making her sway and move closer.  She even hugged him.  "Thanks, Stella."

"How did you not touch yourself while you watched that?"

"Self control."  He turned it off and turned to look at her, erasing those few minutes.  "You have self control too."

She looked at him and shook her head.  "No I don't."  She pulled him up and outside, taking him to the little picnic area to find some privacy and nuzzle him to death.  She heard a soft, feminine voice sigh in pleasure and looked up.  "Let it happen," she muttered, then went back to molesting her boss.  He was pretty stiff but she made him moan and give him after a few minutes work.  She was good after all.

***

Xander, a normally happy bouncy Xander, brought in lunch for everyone.  "Hi, guys," he said happily.  "Can you guys sign in me and Hubert?"

"No pets in the lab.  They're still throwing fits about the ferret."  Xander turned to show his dragon, who blinked back at him.  "Never mind, I want to see the look on their faces," he assured him, signing him in with his lunch.  He even got the elevator for him. Xander grinned and winked, handing him a pack of cookies.  He grinned and went to watch on the internal security systems while he made his rounds.

Xander came off on the detective's floor, walking that way.  "Lunch.  Protein for strong muscles and calcium to help bones stay strong for those nasty chase scenes."  He handed a box to Frank.  One to Yelina.  He handed one and cookies to Don, kissing him on the temple.  "Because you deserve it."

"Freeze," Frank ordered.  "What is that on your back?"

"Hubert.  The baby dragon."  He grinned and headed over to the lab. He found them having a meeting and started by handing Horatio his box of food and cookies, getting a smile.

"Thank you, Xander, but Hubert should be in the car," he said firmly.

"He wanted to meet the others.  It's not like he's going to escape.   Nothing here smells like a steak."  He handed Danny his and his cookies.  Then Ryan his and his cookies.  Then Mac and Stella theirs.  Then Sheldon's with a kiss on his forehead since he had a bruise.  Then Eric and Calleigh since they were in the back, putting a general plate of cookies on the table.  He felt the dragon slip down and come to sniff these new people.

"That's not a Komodo dragon," Mac said, staring at it. "What are you?"

"He's a regular dragon," Danny offered. "Smart too.  He picked up each ferret very carefully and brought it over so we could tell them who they were, then he put them down and licked them.  Then he and Spot played chase, Spot got him a few times and he just grinned and ran off again.  Spot's got a new buddy now, he was using him as a pillow too."  He opened his dinner and smiled at it. "Thank you, Xander.  I needed the protein."

"Of course you did."  He kissed him on the forehead. "Horatio, Speed's is in there."

"He's napping.  Finally."

Eric looked at him.  "I want to see this dancing stuff."

"No," Horatio moaned.

Ryan shook his head. "I can't.  Only a GHS of two or better can.  Ask Don."  Danny shook his head.  "Or Xander."

"Xander's not allowed to perform ever again," Danny said firmly. "Otherwise he'll never sleep."  Xander kissed him again then walked off with the dragon.  He moaned and dug into his lunch. "Horatio, maybe you should eat and finish this in a few."

Horatio sat down to eat, finding a good, body sustaining meal in there. "I should eat."  He dug in, knowing Speed was going to be pouncing him later when they both got home.  Maybe he'd spare himself some soreness and do some extra paperwork?  No, then it'd get worse and he'd have one seriously horny spouse on his hands.  Speed stumbled in.  "Xander brought you lunch. It's in the box."

Speed grinned and went to get it, then sat down next to Eric so he wasn't tempted to grab his mate and make them both need a nap.  "You should see the dancing."

"Xander's not allowed to perform in public," Danny said firmly.

"Since when has family been public?" Calleigh asked.  "After all, Eric's your backup protector too, right?"  They all moaned at that and ate more. "What?"

"He is," Ryan agreed.  "Me and him both, and Aiden if he needs it that badly.  Of course Eric and Aiden were here last night when we could've used them."  Danny moaned and nodded, eating another bite.  "Hey, boss, I know Greg was going to see if there was an open level one or trainee spot in the lab," Ryan offered.

"He'd have to go with Mac," Horatio offered. "Unless Danny goes with them then we'd have one."  He ate another bite then nibbled on a cookie. He smiled at the paw print.  "Aww.  They decided to make cutouts of the ferret paws."  He didn't want to consider the alternative.

Don came in and searched the box, coming up with more food.  He flopped down and dug in.  "Sorry, starved."

"You and me both," Speed agreed, finishing his and going to get more.

Eric looked them.  "So I take it the convention was fun?"  They all nodded, then sighed in unison.  "H, any new suits?"

"He did spoil me by taking me to use my gift certificate," he agreed happily. "Plus one I hadn't known about.  We made him get more clothes too."

Mac looked at him. "What else happens at these conventions?"

"Like the slogan goes, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas," Danny said firmly.  He burped and took an antacid then got some more for himself.  He found Horatio's second box, letting him have it.  He flopped back down to dig in, smiling at the cheesy potatoes he had. He moaned as he dug in.  Don stole some but let him have some of his salad.

Frank and Yelina came in with Ray.  "He said Xander left him some."

"Has his name on it, both boxes," Danny promised.  He pointed with his fork.  "Nothing for anyone else today.

"I still can't believe he lost that half a million on that one hand," Don sighed.

Danny looked at him.  "He won something like fifteen, Don!"  He slapped him on the arm.  "Don't say that, he might want to go back!"

"I think he's banned from Vegas for the next year and only if he's got more than one person to control him," Ryan said flatly.  "Because I failed at that task, big time."

Eric patted him on the back. "How bad could it have been?"

"If I was telepathic," he sighed.  He looked up.  "Think you can show him?" he prayed.  Ares came down and put a hand on Eric's head, letting him see it all.  "Thanks, second boss."  Ares raised an eyebrow.  "Horatio said science over faith at work.  You're my off- work boss."

"I suppose I can accept that."  He moved his hand from Eric's head, listening to him moan.  "He'll be fine.  Give him some tylenol."  He looked in the box, then stole a cookie with a smirk.  "Next year's is in Boston."  He winked out again, looking quite smug.

"It'll still be cool this time of year in Boston, right?" Don asked Mac, who nodded.  "Good, then maybe sweaters that year."  Horatio gave him a look. "He'll be good and no gambling."

"True, no gambling.  By the way, Xander is not allowed to play in any PD poker tournaments, charity or not.  Nor any baccarat events that may happen.  They had to call for him to cash out *twice*," he told Mac.  The boss came in. "Going over some things then eating lunch before we finish since it got delivered early, boss."

"I heard something about the convention getting out of hand?" he asked dryly.

Horatio shrugged.  "Ask Xander why, let him show you, sir."  Danny glared at him. He smirked back.  He looked at his boss again.  "I told you they were worth the salary."

"They have been and their lab will be finished in another six weeks.  Can you work together peacefully until then?"

"It's great, I don't have to train another rookie," Calleigh assured him happily.  "I didn't mind Ryan but there's no way I can do another one, Chief."

"We have had some noted interest in the next level one or trainee position if there's going to be one with the way we'll be switching around," Horatio reminded her.  "You'd like Greg."

"Greg's a goofy little geek," Ryan agreed.  "Think me only started out in DNA."

"With Speed's former taste in clothes," Horatio agreed, looking at his spouse, who simply licked his fork and shut his box.  "Did everyone get enough to eat?"  Ray grumbled from his seat.  "Finish up, Ray.  We don't mind."  He nibbled on another cookie.  "Where were we?"

"The major homicide routes so we can figure out how to split them up," Mac offered.

"Straight down the center of the area, boys," the Chief complained.

"That splits a college and leaves the team doing the northern side almost no work," Horatio offered.

"We can take a slightly bigger area to spare you guys some work," Stella agreed.  She looked at the map of the area printed. "How about we split it at the blue and yellow border?"

Eric looked.  "That'll give you one major drug dealing area, plus an immigrant area.  Plus one of the colleges.  That would reduce ours so we could do without Danny, which would give you three."

"Speedle could go," the Chief suggested.

"I can poison you too, probably not a good idea either," Speed assured him pleasantly.

"All right.  That still leaves three techs and then four plus Horatio here."

"Like I said, we've got a trainee who said he might like to come in," Horatio offered.  "He's just started field work under Grissom in Vegas.  He's a bit flighty and loud but he's a good kid with some solid science background."

"Plus, I'm going with them the first level one opening we get," Sheldon reminded him.  "Then they'll need a new ME."  The Chief nodded at that.  That's how the budget had worked right now.  "That would give them four."

"If I had an ME candidate and next year's budget I wouldn't care, son.  They could use you plus the trainee probably.  There's been a string of murders up that way recently."  That got a nod from Don.  "Your cases?"  Don nodded again.  "Any leads?"

"Two very weak ones that we can't prove yet."  He finished off the cookie he was nibbling.  "That split would work and it would also mean Mac would have squads all to himself.  Are we giving them pet detectives?"

"I wouldn't care, but don't you live too far out for call in?"

"We have night detectives and only by about ten minutes," Don promised.  "About the same as I do here.  We eased this one."  He held up the cookies.  "Xander made them with the special ferret paw press."

"They're adorable."  He nibbled on one and nodded, then looked at it.  "Are you sure the ferrets didn't walk over them?"

"He's had the press since just after he got the ferrets.  The gravely things are grapenuts," Danny told him.  That got a nod and he finished it off. "We have to remind him to soak those better."  He shrugged and ate one of his.  "If we do, Ray, you wanna go?"  Ray shrugged, still eating.  "Okay.  Don?"

"Sure.  We're a family, we'll see each other almost daily anyway."

"I think for now we'll continue to spread our detectives out and plan that as a second step," the Chief offered.  "Give us some time to fix any problems and things, Flack.  Horatio, Taylor?"

"Works for us.  We can share and abuse the homicide squad," Mac agreed, making Don smile and 'awww'.  "Do we have an off-duty guard for Xander?"

"We do, he starts this week," Danny promised.  "It's a nice extra bit in his paycheck."  That got a smile from him.  "We downgraded it to eight hundred an outing instead of a clear grand but we told him why and he agreed. Why the worry?"

"Because he's going to want to go out this week and he seems like he's on a teasing high."

"We couldn't get him to sleep for four days," Don told him seriously.  "That was him being normal.  We're talking to Adam about setting a level just for Xander."  He looked at Horatio.  "They're still talking about redoing some people's bloodwork."

"I heard.  I can see the point.  Especially since you managed to mostly keep up with him."  Don blushed at that.  "Mine as well."  Danny nodded.  "We'll test the department's quietly if they ask."  Speed nodded he'd help.  "I think it might be a good idea."

"You know, if we keep going, we'll have a full department worth of you guys," Frank joked.

"We already do, Frank," Horatio assured him, making him stare in horror.  "Through the whole department I know there's at least nineteen of us.  Plus I know of another detective who might transfer in from Baltimore."  Frank whimpered and shook his head.  "He's supposed to be very good."

"Let's hire from within for our next one," Yelina suggested.  "There's been some complaints about both departments not hiring from within, Horatio."

"I put up a trainee lab position and no one answered it," Horatio pointed out.  "I had one up for six weeks and I didn't have a single letter of interest."

"A few guys asked what the lab was like.  The answer of 'hard' apparently turned them off," Eric offered. "Sorry, H."

"No, that was an appropriate answer," he agreed. "It is hard.  It's a very hard job that can wear on the soul."  Mac nodded at that.  "Especially when you start to do the paperwork."   Everyone nodded at that.  "Mac, does that suit you?"

"For now.  If there's any problems, we'll work them out and mold our groups into whatever we need."

"Less molding, more loosening up, Mac," Danny assured him. "The push forward style you got used to in New York will get every single door slammed in your face."

"Yeah, you've got to use a bit of a grin and some sappiness to get the best results," Don agreed.  "A bit of a smile while you're questioning.  A bit of a head tilt like you're listening to the fruitcake. Everything's more laid back down here but the drug dealers.  Ours had style and ghetto cred.  The guys down here are all about the fast."

"Cars, money, women," Eric agreed.  "Plus you'll get more snotty rich folk than you probably did before.  Then again, a bit of structure could help."

"I found a smile did work better on the suspect I had to question over the weekend," Stella agreed, looking at Mac.  "Yours?"

"Former military.  He knew and understood.  Answered me like I was his drill sergeant."

Horatio smiled. "We love the base.  It's a great group of people.  They make us incredibly happy.  Just now and then we get someone from the town around it."  They all nodded.  "We'll go over problem routes tomorrow.  Today, there's people needing us."  They broke the meeting and devoured the rest of the cookies on their way back to work.  He decided he liked these lunch time meetings with the staff.  They were a good use of time and he even got to eat, not just talk.  Speed gave him a look and he smirked back.  "Later."

"Of course."  He walked down to Trace, Danny following.  He looked at Danny.  "How is he?"

"Bouncing around like they thought he was a God," Danny admitted.  "We should watch out for mass spoiling soon."  That got a knowing nod.  "You think Greg would come down?  Grissom seemed to like him."

"Grissom wanted to study him.  He didn't like him that way.  Greg had people for stress relief and everyone up there said that Greg was bouncing around the lab with his iPod.  Greg is like the blonde Xander clone only less of a GHS."

"If dancing like that raised you guys," he said quietly.

"Yeah, I know.  Horatio's definitely less stressed and ready to surge again.  I've got to do something special tonight for him.  Especially since we're both sore."

Danny nudged him.  "The bath stuff.  Hot tub?"

Speed moaned.  "That's a great idea.  Thanks, Danny."  He grinned.  "That means I'm going home on time tonight."  He got down to work, making mental plans.  He ran into Horatio on his way home.  "Give me an hour to set things up?" he asked quietly, getting a nod.  "Thank you.  Nothing to make you more sore," he promised with a grin, heading off.

"I'm not sure if I should believe that look or not," he admitted, going to finish something up for tomorrow to give him the time he wanted.  When he finally got home an hour and a quarter later, swearing at traffic, he found most of the lights out.  Only the soft directional lights were on downstairs.  He heard the hot tub going and smiled, taking off his suit as he headed out there.  Speed patted the spot next to him.  "Traffic was a mess."

"It always is.  Slide in." Horatio slid off his boxers and slid in, moaning the whole way down.  He relaxed into his seat and sniffed, relaxing totally.  "Some of the new spa stuff. I figured it might work just as well in here.  Plus, because you deserve it for getting us most of Mac's lab," he said, pouring him a glass of champagne.  "For you."  Horatio took it with a smile for him.  "Whenever you're ready, the toaster oven is plugged in over there and it's got cheese and stuff, light stuff to nibble and relax with."

"Have I told you today that I love you?"

"Not since I made you sore this morning. Rest and relax, Horatio.  You need and deserve it."  He slid up and over, letting Horatio rest against his legs so he could work on his shoulders, making him moan while he sipped his very good champagne.  "This is what keepers are for. To spoil and love you."  He kissed him on the head, earning a sleepy smile.  "Just relax, I've got you."  Horatio nodded, putting down his glass and turning onto his side to let him get the tension knot he had better, hugging his leg.

***

Xander pointed outside.  "There?"

"No, not there.  How about under the trees?" Don suggested. "Since you put the outdoor patio out there."

"I don't want to bunch them together."  He pouted at him.  "I like the view from the front, Don."

"Yeah but more people can see us out there, Xander."  He stared at him.  "How about in that small area by the wall?  There in the break in the trees?  That way there's still shade, a pretty view of the sky.  The lounges are all nearby.  It's shielded.  Even during the day you won't get burned."  Xander considered it.  "We can drag chairs out there tonight to watch."

"We'd have to trim the oak tree.  It'll block the sky.   That's the other reason I wanted the front.  Because we don't use any of it."

"Then plant some trees, Xander."  Xander gave him a look.  "I know.  It'll obstruct the view, which was the best thing about this place. What about the side yard?"

"With the driveway there?"

"Point."  He considered the front yard.  "How about we plant some trees out there and make a grotto area?  Three sides with the hot tub being the other side?  A small porch area to hold towels and things, maybe a mini fridge for drinks?" Xander wobbled.  "I know you want it to look natural, but..."  Xander looked at him again.  "I don't know, Xander.  I'd rather have it in the back yard.  Even with the lesser view. It's more comfortable for me because the neighbors on both sides can see us there. I don't want anything to come back on the station."

"I know."  He gave him a hug.  "How about this corner of the house?  Off the bedroom?"  Don shook his head. "No?"

"No, because it might flood during a good rain and then we'll have to fix the bed."  Xander frowned at him.  "It could happen.  Besides I don't like the sliding doors in the bedroom."  He shrugged.  "It's too easy to break into them. I'd rather leave them locked and barred."  He walked him out there.  "Here.  It's a nice spot.  We plant some trees on either side.  Make a small sort of porch area, sink the tub into it.  It can be wood or look like stone, as long as it's not slick like wet stone is, and we can sink a small fridge out here that we plug in whenever we run the tub?"  Xander looked hesitant.  "Let me show you my idea."  He led him back to the small grotto area between the house's fence and the trees they had in the back.  "Here.  Put it here."  He looked up.  "We'd have to trim whatever that one is or move it but it'd be nice here.  Quiet, calm.  Relaxing.  Which we both need."  Xander shook his head.  "This is the better spot, Xander."

"I still don't want to overcrowd the backyard and we don't do anything with the front yard, but I hate that spot.  The neighbors on the right look directly down into it and I don't want to watch their guest room."

"True," he sighed.  "We're never going to make this decision, are we?"

"No."  They looked at each other.

"Cupid?" they called.  He appeared, looking impatient.

"We need help."

"You want me to put in a hot tub?"

"No, we need help deciding where to put it," Xander told him.  "I'd never expect you to do home renovations for me.  That's why there's people like I used to be.  We make good money doing it.  Don wants it here.  I think the back yard's going to be overcrowded with everything and the front's just a lawn.  I want to put it up there but the nosy neighbors are already trying to help me sunbathe in the back yard.  I want to put it up there."

"Plant a fountain up there, Xander."  He sighed and looked around then at him.  "First, not here.  Too far to hide from the kitchen.  You'll want something to drink and the dog won't fetch sodas that I know of.  Neither will the dragon."  Xander nodded at that.  "Okay.  So let's put it there," he offered, creating a picture there like Don thought.  "We'll move the lounge set and the picnic tables out front and plant some trees.  The world could use more trees. Plant useful trees even, like lemon trees or nut trees.  Too far down for apples but nut trees grow well around here.  Put in a small fountain up there.  Put the trees around the edges to shade it from the neighbors and put the seating area either out there or here," he said, pointing where they were standing.  "This is a space that could be used."  Don beamed at that. "Either that, or next life move to an orchard."  He flipped him on the head. "Did you crack one of the toys in the pool?"

"I got a bit overheated earlier and rode it too hard," he admitted with a blush.

"Dude, you're out of control again," Cupid said, looking at him.  "I don't normally like to meddle but you're like a level fifteen now."

"I'm trying to bring it back down."

"I know," he agreed.  "I even know how you're trying."  He flipped him on the forehead again and Xander went limp.  "The newest thing trying to have him is magnifying him.  He thinks he'll go to him if he gets too desperate.  I removed it all from him so he'll have a few calm days."

"Bless you, Cupid.  We could all use the sleep."

He grinned. "I saw and it was hot, but man!  How do you crack a marble dildo with your ass muscles?"  He shivered.

"He can stop me cold," Don told him.  "I literally cannot move when he does that thing where he clenches."

"I've done that and Strife spanked the hell out of me for it. I nearly made him pop his head off."  He shivered.  "Too many kegals."  He grinned again. "That solve the debate?"

"Much, thank you.  Any type of nut you like?"

Cupid smiled.  "I'm partial to all nuts, dude, I am over lust," he said with a wink before he left.

Don laughed and carried Xander inside, getting a worried look.  "Whatever wants him now is magnifying him so he has to go to him to solve it.  Cupid took it all away."

"Hallelujah.  I need a nap.  You two get it figured out?"  Don nodded, tucking Xander in so he could take a shower.  Danny took his in the morning so he slid in and let Xander cuddle him. It was nice.  Very nice.  Even if the dragon did release the ferrets and they all curled up with them and the dog was on the foot of the bed by the time Don came out.  "Night."

"Night."  He slid into his boxers and into bed.  He had learned not to go naked near the ferrets.  They still tried to curl up to his balls like they were another ferret to nap with.

***

Xander woke up in the morning happy and only slightly bouncy.  He said a long, thankful prayer to Cupid. He was sore!  For the first time ever, he was really sore!  He got out of the bed and went to find the dragon nibbling on a steak bone.  The dog had food and water.  The ferrets were sleeping in their cage and fed.  Their litterboxes were even cleaned.  He frowned, looking around.  The house was spotless.  He looked up.  "Did I get taken again by the Brady Bunch fairy?" he called.  No answer.  He thought about using his touchstone but this looked like home.  He walked outside and found a portal on the lawn.  That really looked like home.  It had happened yesterday too.  He did use his touchstone, summoning the detective he knew.  "What's that?"

"That's dangerous," he offered, pulling him back inside.  He closed the door and called someone, speaking quietly.  The portal was soon taken away by a few other officers.  "Are you all right?"

Xander looked at him.  "Am I at home?  Everything's perfectly clean, all the animals are napping or nibbling.  Someone even cleaned the litterboxes.  It's not right."

He nodded.  "You are home. You have a housekeeper, remember?"

"She's not supposed to start until next week."

"It is next week, Xander."  He patted him on the head. "You're fine.  I promise.  It's just the housekeeper.  One of your mates probably cleaned the litterboxes.  Or else you've got a new admirer who wants to show what he can do for you and he cleaned everything."  The dragon looked at him and then got up, coming over to sniff him.  "That's an interesting pet."

"I bought an egg," he said with a small shrug.  "It seemed so lonely all by himself.  Like I was since Ryan was off being a knight in shiny armor again."

"That can happen. For right now, this is home."

"No, not right now. This is home?"

He nodded.  "As far as I can tell, this is your home realm, Xander."  Xander relaxed and the dragon snorted again.  "What?  I know you're a magical being."  He brought over the bone, showing him.  "You're right, that's not from the same as the house."  He tested outside and sighed. "You're right."

"Don may clean litterboxes but he'd never cook Hubert a steak and Danny's still trying to get him to eat dog food."  The dragon looked at him and shook his head. "He gave up?"  The dragon nodded.  "Cool.  Are these our animals?"  The dragon nodded again. "Can I kill the demon to get home?"  The dragon shook his head.  "Why not?"

"Um, because I think it might be his mother," the vampire detective offered, pointing at the front lawn.  "Or some sort of relative."

Xander looked then swore, opening the door.  "Did you want to talk to Hubert?"  The dragon looked at him and shook his head.  "Are you sure?"

"Very," it said in a British accent.  "I wanted to see you dance."

"If I do, can you send me home?"

"I can talk with the reason why you're here.  That's not a large problem.  He might not relent."

"I've got to be home.  Someone's got to spoil my boys."

"Dance for me and we'll see."  Xander sighed and came out to dance for him, making him a happy dragon.  When he was tired after a few hours the dragon smiled.  "Rest for now.  Let me see what I can do.  Then maybe you'd dance for me again?"

"If I'm not tired."  The dragon nodded and leapt up, flying off.  "Wow.  Hubert, you can't do that, right?"  He got drug back inside the house by a blanket-wrapped arm.  "Sorry."

"No, I found it quite arousing."  He checked the animals then closed the door.  He heard a squeak so he opened it, letting in the ferrets.  "I thought I saw you."

"That's the stuffed animal Don got them.  They sneak out through a spot in the cage."  He put them in his pockets and sat with his dog and dragon around him.  The detective sat in a non-sunny spot. "I'm sorry.  I didn't mean for you to go whoosh in the sun."

"I understand.  There's something odd about this one.  Can I have the touchstone to compare?"  Xander handed it over and he faded out with a 'blast!"

Xander sighed and looked up, sending a thought to any of his deities.  He felt dizzy and then the house landed with a shudder that felt like an earthquake.  "Blessed be," he whispered.  "Thanks too."  He let the animals go where they should and looked outside.  "Huh.  There's space out there."  He created a barrier and kept the ferrets and animals in the room with him. Then he had to summon George back.  The dragon gave him a look and he shrugged.  "I don't know.  George, you know?  I'm sure your former father did some realm traveling."  The ferret just stared at him. "Never mind. I doubt you know anything about the quantum whatits anyway."  He sat down to think, going back to everything Willow had ever told him about science and physics.  "Why aren't I book smart?" he complained.  "Damn it!"  His head started to hurt and he realized what he didn't know before.  That he was well and truly trapped.  That even a deity might not be able to break that shield.  But he knew one that could.  He knelt and started a chant he had learned from someone somewhere on his first roadtrip.

Cronus and Chaos.

Time and fundamental energy.

Light and dark in this case.

Long dead but still had some power to screw up his life. He wondered which one he had pissed off this time.

"Probably Ethan again," he complained.  "It's not my fault Giles tried to sell me to demons."  He went back to his chant and prayer, adding in one for Strife since he was a chaos god by nature.

***

Strife looked up.  "What?" he asked, sounding cranky.  He tried to touch his anchor and groaned.  "Okay, who stole the Xander this time!" he bellowed, letting it echo all around Olympus.

Ares flashed in.  "I heard a quiet one from him but I couldn't get it.  Where is he this time?"

"The switching nexus.  The whole house, animals and all."

"Damn," Cupid sighed when he appeared.  "What's he doing?"

"Cronus and Chaos?"

"Two powerful forces in his life," Ares agreed.  He felt Strife be added in again, then his and Cupid's name.  The kid was starting to panic.  "Gaia!" he called.  "Nox!"  Both elder Goddesses came at his bellow.  "Did you know what happened to the secondary anchor?"

"I can feel him," Nox agreed quietly.  "I can't move him from there."

"I can," a new voice said as he walked in.  "He blames mine anyway.  Ethan is not that strong."

"No, but which demon is?" Strife asked.

"The highest of the high court.  Those dealing with his former friends.  He decided to punish him for making him deal with them, even though they wronged the boy horribly and he had nothing to do with them being sent there."  He linked with Strife's energy, soaking up some of the extra.  "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were one of Cupid's mirrors yourself, Strife."  He pulled Nox over and took her hand, then Gaia's, taking the energy.  The elder Gods all appeared to help at his call.  He was outside them yet part of them.  He moved the house where it belonged and got the person it had fallen on out of the way.  Then he went limp and tied the house and the boy to that plane.  "No more traveling that way," he ordered, glaring at Ares.

"Don't give me that look.  I didn't untie him.  The demon who had his ass did.  You want someone, go get Devi and his folk."

"Agreed. If you do something about the one magnifying him?"

"Gladly," Ares agreed, pulling his sword.  "I could use some carnage."  They disappeared and Cupid whistled.

"That's going to be one messy fight.  Pop against a monsoon demon."

"Well, there's going to be a storm soon," Strife said, looking tired.  Gaia gave him an energy boost and he grinned. "You're safe from me for the next few years."  She smiled and winked out. "Thank you, Nox, and the rest of you.  Hera's coming."  They all disappeared and he went limp in Ares' throne.  His mother appeared so he rolled his head to look at her.  "No more traveling that way for the anchor, Ma."

"Why not?"

"Because he got stolen to the Nexus," Cupid told her.  She moaned at that. "He could've ended up anywhere but the house was too big and got stuck."

"Sure.  He stays there if at all humanly possible," she agreed, going to write that rule down on her walls in case she forgot.  Because they could be destroyed without a solid anchor in their home reality.

***

Xander felt the house land again and looked outside at the body on the lawn.  "Was she a wicked witch?"  He called the neighborhood patrol guys.  "I've got a pretty flat woman on my lawn?  Please.  Thank you."  He looked up and said a prayer of thanks to whoever had helped.  He felt the house shift a bit and winced but it settled and it felt right and correct to him again. "And you as well, Hephaestus.  Love yours and your wife's work."  He sat down to wait, staring at the body.  Eric came first and he looked at him, pointing.  "The house fell on her."

"Are you high?"

"No, but the house fell on her."

Cupid appeared.  "The asshole who keeps magnifying him this last week took him house and all.  The house fell on her when we sent him back.  Speaking of, Xander.  Janus said Ethan's not that powerful.  The first was the monsoon demon and the second was the demon over the dimension the others were sent to as punishment.  He didn't like you for making him deal with Buffy either."  Xander let out a small hysterical laugh.  "Shit.  Okay, beddy by time."  He knocked him out and unsealed the house.   "However you want to explain it, Eric."  He disappeared before the ME could get there.

Alexx parked and walked over, looking at the squashed body.  "What happened?"

"You want the truth that'll make your head hurt?"

"It depends, will I have to make up the lie to cover it?"

He nodded.  "I can't.  The demon who keeps magnifying Xander..."  He stopped when Ryan pulled in. "You might wanna hear this too."

"Sure.  The demon who keeps magnifying Xander stole him house and all, and when they put the house back it fell on her.  Strife said his first question was if she was a wicked witch."

Alexx held her head.  "Okay.  So the house... fell on her," she said, looking at the house.  "Is it slightly off where it was?"

"Yeah but it's on the foundation as it should be," Ryan offered. "Xander had to beg some really old powers to save him this time and Ares said I can't help take on that monsoon demon."

"Sure," Eric agreed, looking at Ryan.  "Go away before you give me a migraine instead of the simple headache I have?  Please?"  Ryan nodded, going to check on the animals.  The dragon had corralled the ferrets on the couch and was keeping them up there. "You're very helpful," he promised, putting them back into their cage and locking the other door so the dragon couldn't let them out again.  "Let Xander sleep.  Spot?"  He hopped up and laid down on the daddy's chest.  "Good boy."  He patted him and put the dragon above Xander's head. "You guard him from the demons too."  He walked out and heard Mac going over the story.  He nodded at him.

"How?" he asked finally.

Ares appeared with his hair blown every direction and his clothes messed up.  "Monsoon demons are powerful.  This one has the backing of his family, who are now sorry as fuck too," he growled.  "Anything else?"

"They were taking suggestions on what type of nut or fruit trees to plant so you guys could snatch some," Ryan offered.  "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine."  He snapped and he was straightened out again.  "I hate monsoon demons."

"I'm starting to hate all demons.  Mind if I go on a vendetta?" Ryan asked.

"Probably but I'll have to ask," Ares offered.  "Bacchus might really mind."  He looked at Mac.  "Hi again," he said with a smirk.

"I remember you.  You...protect Xander?"

"He's an anchor for them," Ryan agreed.

"What he said.  Ryan's mine."

"Sure," he agreed.  "And I thought things were strange when he was in New York."  Ryan giggled and nodded at that.  "So, now what?  We have one unexplainable body."

Ares snapped and a tree fell on top of the body.  "There, an explanation."  He looked at Ryan.  "Fruit and nut trees both.  Turn down by the gate into an orchard?"

"Don likes that view but this wall definitely," Ryan offered.  That got a smirk.  "I'll try.  Dates, any type of nuts?"

"I like all nuts.  They're good to start wars with," he offered, disappearing again.

"Cupid said he liked all nuts because he was over lust," Xander offered from the doorway.  He looked up. "Sure, I like that idea.  I'll make Don agree to it."  He looked at them.  "Where did the tree come from?"

"I don't know but it's better than the house fell on her," Alexx decided.  "Boys, can we get her free?"  Mac nodded, heading to the garage for the chains he knew where in there.

Ryan turned Xander around and gave him a nudge.  "Couch, Xander.  Nap."

"Yes, Ryan."  He wandered that way and flopped down, cuddling the dog like his personal teddy bear.  Fortunately his dog was used to it and his dragon liked his hair.

***

Mac walked into the office, finding Horatio doing paperwork with a smile. "I had my first flattened body down here."

"Why?"

"Xander's house fell on her."  Horatio dropped his pen and put his hands over his face while he groaned and rubbed it.  "He and his house are back now and it was a tree."

"Trees we can do," he agreed, looking at him.  "I like trees."

"That was my feeling on the subject. I hope Don does.  The big guy in black who got us out of Beirut said to plant an orchard down by the gate."

"Along the left wall definitely.  Over to where it blocks the doorway, no further," Danny said from behind him.  He handed over a letter.  "Explanation, boss.  I'm not reading it."  He walked off, going back to work.  "Speed, you got any tylenol?  The boss could use some."

"In my locker."  He went to get it and hand over the bottle.  "Issue?"

"Someone stole Xander and his house.  It fell on the new housekeeper," Mac told him.  "Then a tree appeared."

"So a tree fell on her?" he offered.

"That's what I'm writing."  He took two of the tylenol and handed the bottle to Horatio before going to find a computer and doing that report.

"It could be worse.  Xander could be twins or triplets," Speed offered quietly.  "All of them level tens."

Horatio looked at him.  "Go rinse your mind out with soap before someone finds that funny."

Strife appeared already shaking his head.  "Not even *I* have that much energy or can focus that much mischief."  He disappeared again and left a pint of whiskey on the desk.

"Oh, gee, he left dinner," Speed joked, going back to work.

Horatio carefully put it away and shook his head.  Some days he wondered if he had angered someone to get Xander in his city.

"We love you and we know you're strong enough to handle it," Aphrodite's voice assured him.  "That's why we sent him to you, pookie."  Her voice faded off.

He took two of the tylenol and got back to work, clearing his mind.  The Gods had faith in him and he had faith in his own and Aphrodite.  He could handle this.  But if the monsoon demon was dead, would no one else come?

***

Xander was woken up by a cool hand on his face.  "Hi, Detective Mystick.  I'm home."

"I can see that.  You look very good at home, Xander."  He smiled at him.  "We had some questions.  Would you come with me?"  Xander nodded until Cupid appeared and shook his head.  "We do."

"I don't care if you do or not, Mystick.  You're not taking Xander off this plane and realm."

"Fine. I can ask my questions down here.  What happened?  Or you, Lord Cupid?"  Xander pointed at the letter on the table, making him smile. "You've always been very helpful, Xander.  Though I do have one last question.  Do you know how much other ones still want you?"  Xander whimpered and closed his eyes again.  "I assure you, we won't be going away, my dear boy."  He faded out.

Cupid came over and moved Xander's head, sitting under it.  The head and the dragon filled his lap and he looked down into the deep brown eyes.  "There's going to be more, we all know this."

"Can the next one not be as pushy?  Or can you downgrade me permanently so I quit being such a burden on Danny and Don?"

"You're not, Xander. They were tired last night."

"They're tired most days."

"I know."  He stroked trough the top of his hair.  "We'll figure it out."  He sighed and relaxed.  It was calming to pet him.  He could see why Ryan liked to pet Xander when he was thinking, especially about strategy.

That's How Life Goes.

The whole family was gathered around for dinner a few days later and Xander smiled at everyone.  "I have some good news," he announced.  They all smiled at him.  "The last thing who wanted me is gone.  The people cheering him on are mostly gone."

"No more ruby and gold showers?" Yelina teased.

"For now.  That doesn't mean another one won't take his place," Xander said grimly.  She shivered at that.  "So, for now, we're without a higher suitor."  Don and Danny both clapped at that and Ryan smiled.  "Also, there will be work done in the yard tomorrow and the next day.  Don, there's going to be trees."  Don smiled at that. "Maybe even some older ones if they can work it out.  All probably useful trees since I asked for useful and tasty trees."  They smiled at that.  "So, poaching is allowed."

Calleigh smiled.  "Good.  I like that.  Oranges?"

"We'll have to see what he can get.  He'll tell me tomorrow."  She nodded.  "In other news, I'm down off my high since that demon was the thing hyping my skills again.  So I'm a normal level ten again."  Danny cheered at that. "I'm sorry I'm such a pain to you," he offered more quietly.

"You're not.  Adam was right.  Most guys like you have more helpers than Don and I and their top helpers don't work. We're making our own stress."  He stroked his cheek.  "Okay?"  Xander nodded.  "Good, then sit down."  Xander sat. "Anything else happen today?"  Yelina bent over, clutching her stomach.  The rest of them felt an oddness going around them.

"Not good," Frank offered.

"Very.  That's the world being shifted," Adam offered.   He and Xander went to check since they had actual experience with magic.  They found a whole different world in their front yard.  "Oh, dear.  Well, you wanted a forest."

"I was thinking more an orchard," Xander offered.  It shifted. "This is not me, right?"

"No, not you," he promised. He walked back through the house, finding the ferrets were all there.  Though there was a third one, a black one.  He took that one out to look at it.  Then he handed it to Xander, who groaned.  "Your new suitor?"  He nodded, putting him down.  "You're stranding normals with us."

"This world will provide for you while you think about my offer," he said.  "Time will not shift there for them."  He disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Xander walked outside.  "Spoke too soon, people."  Then he went to hide in bed and think.  He touched his tattoos.  Nothing.  Crap.  He was totally locked off.  He walked out and took Ryan's shirt off him, touching his tattoo, then his earring.  "They're not imbedded with magic."

"I noticed it quit itching," Ryan offered, looking back at him.  "What do we do?"

"Well, there's now an orchard in the front yard.  There's a whole world there."  Frank opened his mouth and raised a finger.  "He said no real world time would pass, Frank.  Ryan, go get the weapons?"

"Going to check the bows," he promised, going to do that while he thought and prayed.

Xander looked up.  "Damn it, whoever you are!  Horatio and Speed *need* to stay in contact with Aphrodite or they could die!"  Speed scratched at his neck.  "Is it back?"

"Enough that I feel it.  Horatio?"

"Barely."  He let Xander touch it.  "Anything?"

"You're reconnected but not fully. I can't use it to center a prayer."  He grimaced.  "Hell."  He stomped off.  "I'm going to find the magic books.  You guys eat.  It's going to be a long night."  He walked into the library and took down the book on the Greek deities and their calendars of worship.  Most importantly it told him how to do a formal prayer and establish a home temple.  Well, they had spare rooms.  Frank came in.  "She won't even know, Frank."

"How long?"

Xander looked at him. "I don't know," he said honestly.  "I can tell you I'm saving some magic up to do something spectacular instead of the usual plant growing I can do."  He nodded. "Be patient.  It's going to be at least tonight.  If we're all lucky it'll be within a month.  If not, well....."  He shrugged.  "When he's tired of asking?"

"Sure.  Let us know if we can help."

"Watch Horatio and Speed, make sure they're all right and that Yelina's all right."  He nodded, going to do that.  Xander sat down to read, shaking his head as he went over everything.  No one was going to like how this was going to turn out.

***

Ryan looked up when he got done.  "Can we have horses?" he asked.  "Maybe my mare and my backpack?"  Nothing. "Please?  I'm his protector.  I named him my consort in front of Ares."  The demon appeared, looking at him.   "I did."

"That was necessity."

"It was but it doesn't make it not true.  I am one who helps him.

"You are," he agreed.  "That doesn't make you his."

"Xander can name those he wants his."

"He could but he would stay here."

"Not if you had any compassion.  Those out there could die from this."

"Most won't."

"Not good enough."

The demon considered it. "I will make your life comfortable here while he considers my offer."

"He hasn't heard your offer."

"I'm powerful enough to do this and take care of his harem.  I'm powerful enough to keep him from doing magic and from talking to his Gods. I am more than powerful enough to help and control him."

"What about love?" Ryan asked.

"He will come to," he said firmly.

"Xander doesn't love easily and too many demons have hurt him. Do you know of his past on the hellmouth?"  The demon silently shook his head. "Then I would check that out first, and then move forward through his life."

"I will.  Until he has made a decision, he is staying here."

"Fine.  Can I have my mare, my tack, and my things from home?  I'm the only hunter in the group.  Oh, and we'll need arrows."

"Fine.  It will be provided, as well as bedding and food for the animals."  He disappeared and Ryan's horse stood there in her tack, with his saddlebags and his two packs, plus his sword given to him by Ares.  He touched it.  It felt like a normal sword.  He pulled it and looked at his mare.  "Let's untack you right now, love."  He undid her tack and put them down in the house, then let her loose.  "Arrows?"  They rained down around him, making him yelp when a few stuck him.  "Thanks."  Eric and Danny came through the house.  "He's being reasonable and has no idea who Xander really is.  He's doing a life review but we're still stuck for now."  They all sighed at that.  "I need to rebless my blade.  Gather the arrows for the practice room.  I pulled out the crossbow and the regular type so we can hunt if we're forced to."  He walked off, heading into the woods to stalk something.

"He's really differently like this," Eric said quietly.

"That's training and Ares' influence.  The same as Xander turns into someone else during a crisis."  Eric nodded, coming out to gather the arrows.  Speed came out.  "Settle in for the night, guys.  You know the usual rooms.  Ryan's out in the woods reblessing his blade and thinking.  Xander's studying."

"Sure.  Is this another one?"

"He said that we'll be here until I decide to go to him, until we all would probably," Xander admitted from behind him. "He told Ryan I'd come to love him eventually.  He was powerful enough to keep me from doing magic and from talking to anyone over me.  For the family at home, this will only seem like a few minutes at the most. For us, it'll be however long we're here."  Speed nodded.  "Ryan's out blessing his blade.  I've got to figure this out.  I'll get to bed sometime, but get them settled."  He went back to the study, silently blaming himself.  If he didn't have friends, if he hadn't pulled them into his life, then they would be safely at home.  Not waiting to see if they got sick or something.  He sat down to think and sulk. He was multi-talented.  He could do that much together.  He picked up the book again and sighed, going back over the ritual again.  He was no good at formal magic.

***

Ryan came back in for breakfast, letting the dragon have the creature he had killed.  It sniffed then dug into it.  "Outside.  No blood in the house in case there's no water."  The dragon took it out into the back yard to nibble on.  Ryan cleaned up the spot on the floor with some cleaner and papertowels.  Then he tested the water and washed his hands.  They had power since the fridge cut on.  "Thank you for making us comfortable hostages," he murmured.  He got finished and looked in the fridge, pulling out the eggs and bacon, plus some bagels.  He knew Eric preferred grain in the morning instead of protein.  He was even picky about his cereals for first thing in the morning.  He started working on breakfast, seeing Xander wandering around.  "It's not your fault."

"If they hadn't been drug into my life, they'd still be in New York and none of you would be trapped with me."

Ryan looked at him.  "You would've given up long ago," he pointed out. "Right now, we're depending on you to be strong, Xander.  You've got to be strong."

"I know."  He came in to help.  "I need to rededicate something."

"We both do, plus do a new marking probably," he agreed.  Xander nodded, hugging him.  "We'll figure it out.  Now, what other ways do we have if that doesn't work?"

Xander looked at him. "Magic and he claims he can block it. Begging and pleading?  I heard what you said to him last night."

Ryan looked at him.  "It was the truth. You're more than your hormones and your magic, Xander.  Think."  Xander nodded, going back to the study.  "Breakfast?" he called a minute later.

"Eat without me."  He picked up another book.  He needed to look up this demon.  He kept his mind saying he was trying to find out what he was capable of doing for them.  It was a weak dodge but it might help.  At least a little bit.  Horatio came in and he grunted at him.

"Come eat."

"I can't.  I've got to do this."

Horatio took the book from him and hauled him up.  "You have time to read and work on this.  For now, brief us, Xander."

"I don't know much more than I did before, Horatio.  Ryan might know more than me."

"Still.  We are a family and we will get through this as a family.  Now, come eat."  Xander nodded, letting himself be walked out.  He sat Xander down.  Then he sat down.  "Now, what do we know so far?"

"So far, not a lot," Ryan offered.  "Xander?"

"I'm looking up what sort he is.  He claims he can block my magic.  He claims no time will pass at home while we're here and we're going to be provided for, including animal litter."  He sipped his coffee.  "Right now, I'm working on two things.  I'm not sure which is going to be more effective."

"What about your tattoos?" Frank asked.  "I know they're special somehow."

"It hinges on the way he took us out of time and space," Xander told him.  "He literally removed us from a spot in time.  They may not even know we're gone and we can't feel anything."

"Even after I reblessed my sword I can't feel the connection," Ryan admitted.  "It was gifted personally.  That's one thing we're working on.  It's a way of doing it."

"It's ritual magic and it's not my strong suit, but I know what I need to do," Xander offered.

"Can't you pretend to go to him and then kill him or make him beg or something?" Frank asked.

"Frank, to him, we're a harem.  Anyone who helps me, is family with me, anyone like that, is my harem.  If I go, we all go."

Frank grimaced.  "Never mind.  Won't work."  He sipped his coffee.  "How long before we have to resort to eating deer?"

"Orchard outside the door," Horatio told him. "You could go pick breakfast, Frank."

"Sure.  Anything else I should know?"

"Deer are plentiful.  So are rabbits, and I saw a few squirrels."  He looked at Xander. "I fed the dragon the offering."

"That's fine.  I saw him crunching outside."

"I cleaned up the mess he started to make.  We have running water and electricity at the moment," Ryan offered.  "If worst comes to worse I'm sure Xander's cleaned the pool recently."  Xander nodded. "Scrubbed it clean?"

"And it's got cleaners. I changed the water yesterday."  That got some knowing looks. "I did.  I got in there to do my hair again and play."  He took another drink of the coffee in front of him.  Horatio pushed a plate over. "I can't eat.  I need to go think."  He got up and went to do that.  There had to be something in the type of demon it was.  Danny came in and took the book, slamming it down so he could haul him up.  "I need to do this."

"You're not the whole gang you had before.  Some of us went through college researching."

"You don't know a thing about demons or magic," he reminded him.  "I need to do this.  I'll eat lunch."  He sat down and found his place again, then groaned and looked up.  "I need that to make a decision!" he called.  The pages came back.  "Thank you!  Not making me happy or wanting you."  A tray of fresh fruit appeared beside him and he handed it to Danny.  "Go feed it to the harem."  He got back to work, then got up to make notes.  It had been a long time since he had to do this sort of work.  He sat down behind the desk to get to work.  Before long he had a long list of his attributes and abilities.  It was somewhere to start.  He went back to his other research, thinking about how disconnected he felt without his Gods.  He went back to the other research, drawing out the figures he would need to carve to rededicate something so he could reconnect and feel better again.  Because right now he had one hell of a headache.  He had even gotten a short nap in the chair last night.  He got up and got a soda then came back to work on this.  Speed came in and hauled him up and took him out, sending him to bed. "I'm fine," he snapped, glaring at him. "Unless you want to let this one stay for another two year stint?"  Speed glared. "It can!"

"It won't.  Go nap.  You need a nap and we need you at top performance."

"I need to figure out what to do first and then I can nap."

"You had a plan, Xander.  I know you did.  You're always capable of doing this."

"Doesn't mean I have a clue what I'm doing yet.  I'm still gathering facts of what we're doing.  Go figure out how he took us out of time.  I'm not science oriented.  I'm demon and trouble oriented."  He got free and went back to the study to find Danny in there with his list.  "Out!"  Danny got out of his way.  "This is something no one else knows what to do with.  That makes it my task.  Go help someone figure out how he got us out of time or whatever.  Go play with the dog and the dragon."  He sat down, popping open his soda and weathering the slight spray.  He sucked it off the papers and got back to work.  Don came in and closed the door.  "Out."

"Nope.  You're grumpy and it's time for a nap."

Xander looked up at him. "I had a short one last night."

"I'm sure you think you did.  You're still grumpy. You haven't eaten, and we need to help too.  We're not the sort to sit around and do nothing."  Xander gave him a look.  "Now, teach us."

"This is something I have to follow along with, Don."

"Then we can follow along too."

He looked at him.  "Can you learn magic?"

"I don't want to."

"It's probably going to take magic, plus faith.  I'm doing good right now not to lay down and throw an everlasting fit.   So you guys go be the adults and let me handle the magic and faith stuff, okay?"  Don nodded.  But he didn't move.  "Don."

"Eat and rest.  We need you on your feet."

"I will once I know what I'm doing."

"That could be in a month."

"Yeah, well, I'm not a Watcher and I don't know one I could trust to ask to be brought."  Don nodded at that. "Make sure I eat lunch. I had a short nap last night.  I've had to do more than this before."

"Eat and rest now.  Then come back to it with a clear head.  Or else we're going to knock you out and drag you to bed."  Xander sighed and shook his head.  "Please?"  Xander looked at him again.  "Xander."  Xander got up and let him take him to feed him and put him to bed for a nap.  The dog came in to help when Danny ordered him to and it was good enough for now.

***

Ryan looked up and prayed to Artemis before he shot the deer.  He smiled when it was killed, then looked up and said another one, feeling it happen.  He relaxed and nodded. That was a good sign.  He walked forward, putting his bow down and pulling his dagger just in case his shot was a bit off.  He found it dead so he used the knife to gut and field dress it.  He took the rope off his shoulders and strung it up around a sturdy branch, then hooked it to her back legs.  He hauled her up and made a new slit in her throat so the blood would drip out while he went to get his horse to drag her back.  He patted her side, then picked up the guts to make a prayer with it and then bury it.  He whistled, bringing his mare.  "Good girl.  You do remember."  She gave him a look.  "I know.  Come on, let's get the deer home."  He found the bottle of lysol wipes and got his hands and arms until the blood quit dripping.  Then he put his bow up properly and his knife. Then he moved his mare under the deer and let her slowly fall onto her back, tying her down with the rope.  He walked her back to the house, pausing to get some fresh fruit as well.  It would make Xander happier.

Frank came out of the house when he heard him whistling, looking at the deer.  "Doe?"

"Yeah, nice weight.  Very strong.  Already gutted.  I need to dress her out.  I also need to sharpen my knife first."  Frank smirked at that.  "You hunt?"

"Did when I was a young boy.  Walk her around to the garage."  Ryan nodded and handed over the bag of fruit, earning a smile. "Thanks, kid. I'll be out to help soon."

"Sure, Frank."  He walked his mare that way, patting her.  "Knees," he ordered, pointing down.  She knelt and he undid the rope, letting the deer fall off.  He patted her and she stood up again, letting the deer slide off her back.  "Good girl, Princess."  He undid her saddle and put it on a tree stump, using a towel he kept in it to wipe her down and take off her bridle.  Then he gave her a pat.  "Good girl, go nibble on the grass."  She walked off, going to graze.  He sat down to wipe down the tack then put it back in the garage. He came out to find Don with a whet stone and Frank.  "You hunt, Don?"

"No, but I figure I should learn.  Mac's at home so..."  He shrugged. "Wish he was here.  He'd know how to slap Xander out of it."

"He thinks it's his fault," Frank told him.

"I know that.  Doesn't mean it is."  He took the knife to sharpen for Ryan.  He knew Ryan sucked at it.  "It's been a month, he should realize we don't blame him."

"Yeah but there's a small part in all of us and he's feeling it," Frank told him.

"Something along the lines of 'if I hadn't went to Don for protection you and Danny would be in New York and Miami would be sane'," Ryan assured him.  Don snorted but finished up and handed the blade back. "Thanks.  Last time I brought one down I drug it back and the guys skinned it and put it over the fire.  This does make a nice first month anniversary present."

"I thought that was the lack of PMS," Frank said sotto-voice, looking around.

"Yes, I thank them all for that," Ryan assured him.  He grinned then smiled when Xander came out.  "Hey.  I felt a small answer when I prayed to bring down the deer."

"Good, then it's working."  He came out and looked at the deer, saying a quiet prayer over her.  "No heads in the house, guys."  He went to the garden he had worked on with some seeds from the vegetables they had in the house.  He concentrated.  Magic was incredibly difficult for him but he could feel a thread of magic that the demon couldn't control. Of course, neither could he.  It was giving him headaches to make the plants grow. Forcing the magic into a figure it wasn't meant to go to was going to make him retreat with a migraine again tonight.  He gave up a minute later then Don came over and gave him a hug.  He tried it again and watched the plants grow a few feet.  He looked at him. "You're better at this than I am."

"I'm not learning that stuff.  Maybe next life."  He gave him a gentle grin.  "Good job."

"I was struggling until you came over."

"Then listen to the wiseness.  Go rest.  We'll have dinner tonight."  Xander nodded, heading inside looking dejected.  "It wasn't me.  I made you focus differently."  Xander came out to look at him.  "You're not the same guy, Xander.  Think like the Xander you are not the Xander you were."  Xander nodded, going back inside.  He looked at the garden and glared, then watched a few things wilt.  He mentally started to swear and sighed.  Ryan came over and whispered something in his ear, letting him fix it and make it grow more.  He relaxed, then fell down from the strain and effort.  Xander walked out with a protein shake.  "I was fixing it."

"I know.  If we have to, I'll instruct you in what we need to do."  He kissed him on the head and went back inside.  He went to lay down and think.  If that's the way it had to play out, that was what he'd have to do.  He'd have to teach someone how to deal with the demonic and then teach Don magic.  He felt the touch to his foot and looked down.  "Hey, Hubert, come cuddle. Daddy's got a headache from trying to bend chaos magic into nature magic again."  He hopped up and curled up beside him, blowing warm steam on him.  "I'm surprised you're not out helping them cut up the deer."  The dragon looked at him.  "Ryan brought down a deer."  He slid off the bed and went to help, making Xander smile.  At least his pets were being taken care of while he floundered and screwed up.  He went out to the front yard, starting on another row of the fountain.  He added one of the wooden panels he had carved and cured by charring but not burning it.  Then he set another row and kept going, saying his prayers as he set each new sign of each God.  He got up to the main ones in his life, looking in appreciation at the fountain.  Of course a piece fell off.  That's how his life went.  He remixed the mortar he was using and replanted the ones he had already done.  Then he put the props to hold them up. This time he was going to work smarter.

"It won't work you know," the demon said as he appeared.

"Cut off from them, I'm not the guy you think.  Cupid's influence makes me GHS."

"I can give you that back."

"But you won't because you're not stupid," Xander said dryly.  He looked at him and hissed.  "Go away."

"I could make this so much easier on you and your harem."  He reached out but Xander got away from him.  "You don't have to flinch."

"You want to have me against my will, make me do things that are repugnant to me.   I would not have you.  You knew that, that's why you stole us instead of asking."  The demon sighed.  "Don't touch me!"  The demon backed away again.  "Go the fuck away.  I don't want you.  I will never want you."

"I can make you want me."

"You might make me horny but that's why I've got hands and a mind."  The demon sneered and popped off, making the fountain dissolve.  Xander shrieked and got mad, letting it loose like he had only done once before.  This time, the fountain rebuilt and water came up, making him fall down panting in pain at the burning going through him.  He touched the marks, making prayers, letting his fingers be scraped by the rough spots to anoint them.  He moved to the last one, Hecate's.  Normally it would've been first on his litany but this time he needed her support.  He felt the calmness fill him and nearly cried, nodding at the instructions.  He went to get his sword and take off, running away and managing at teleport with her instructions.  He really had a headache now but it wasn't his fault.  He fell down panting and looked up.  "You want me, you beat me.  Your kind go by that principle."  The demon appeared with a spear.  Xander stood up, still in pain.  He didn't care. He was going to kill this thing.  He muttered a prayer to Ares, then lunged and attacked, making the demon look impressed. He attacked and beat him back, making him use his weapon, making him fight for him.

Danny rushed out back.  "Ryan, somehow the fountain's up, Xander grabbed his katana, and disappeared while he was running?"  Ryan grabbed his horse and sword, heading off after him.  Danny came out to look, grimacing.  "That's one of the things I hated about earlier life.  Hunting.  Horses.  Beasts."  He shuddered.  "Pets are one thing, deer, horses, and cows are another."  He walked inside and got a bucket of water, then brought it out. "Here, for your hands.  You're gross."  He walked back inside.  "Horatio, Ryan brought down a deer."

"I heard."  He came out of the study.  "Where is he?"

"Chasing after Xander.  The demon came back and he went off."

"I see.  Then he went to challenge him?"

"Probably, that sounds like him recently."

"It's probably not a good idea," Horatio offered, leading him back into the library.  He let him see the book he had looking over.  "He could have arranged that."

"Could be."  He looked up and prayed that Ryan found that out.

***

Ryan slid off his horse and got between them.  "Xander is mine."

"He challenged me.  You're breaking that."  He looked at the immortal.  "He is young."

"So am I.  Doesn't mean I wasn't trained by Ares personally."  He faced him. "You take him, you take me."

"I can have you after I take him."

"You kill him you won't get any of us.  We'll die first."  The demon backed off.  "Without Xander, we'll all go.  Now, who were you really after?"

"That one is strong.  There are others that are better suited for me and would lovely as my harem."

"All except that you have no sexual organs and no human would be able to touch you.  Even one of us.  The burns would wear our healing talent out first."  Xander stepped forward.  "Any of them are taken.  One is mated. The other is mine."

"He has no claim."

"We're men!  We don't claim like that!" Xander said hotly, lunging again.  The demon laughed and disappeared.  "That means you lost!  You ran."  It reappeared.  "You forfeit by running," he sneered.  "Not so powerful after all, huh?"

"Xander, remember all those talks about your mouth and trouble?" Ryan said patiently.  The demon picked up his staff and lunged.  Xander shoved him aside and went back to it.  "Hey!  That's my job!"

"Not this time," Xander growled, letting himself slip.  Before he had only let it go a bit. Now, he was going to go all the way down if he had to.  He lost it and the demon gave him a horrified look, trying to send him home.  Xander stabbed him in the chest, breaking something, making him scream.  "Only one who has nothing left to lose can defeat you."  He went back to it, hacking, slashing, making chunks of demon until he bellowed and fled again.  "Send up home!" he shouted.  "Now!"  The felt the world shift and fell to his knees panting.  "I'm not a happy camper.  Head to the house."

"Hell no.  Come on."  Xander glared at him.  So Ryan slapped him.  "I feel better now.  Come on before I treat you like the damsel you pretend to be now and then."  He whistled his mare closer but she stayed away.  "Get over it.  We're going home."  He climbed up then hauled Xander up in front of him and spanking him whenever he tried to move.  "Quit!" he ordered finally.  He rode up to the yard and walked inside, bending down so he wouldn't smack his head on the doorframe.  He handed Xander to Don. "He needs a lot of attention."  He rode through the kitchen and out the other side, letting her go again.  "Sorry, girl.  Had to happen."  He walked over to the deer, then back inside to look at the fountain.  Then he looked around the house, finding a strange door.  It opened... to the house.  He looked up.  "You couldn't just put us back?" he complained. The doorway closed.  "Almost, sorry, guys."  The demon appeared and he glared at him.  "I can let him have you some more."

"I will not lose you."

"Wrong. You will not have us."   He pulled his sword again.  "Try it.  I'd rather die than go to you."  The demon pouted. "You didn't ask, you took.  We humans don't respect that, especially not us."

"Would he respect me if I put you back and wooed him?"

"No.  You've blown that shot with all of us.  Especially anyone that Xander's actually with or Xander himself."

"He is very tough."

"You nearly broke him," he snarled, lunging forward.  The demon screamed and they were all back at home.  Including his horse and her tack, plus the deer.  He looked in the doorway and found the other house still there.  "Charming."  He went to look in Xander's room, not finding him.  So he went through the door and drug him out of there by his arm, hauling him home.  Then outside with the fountain.  He knelt and pulled Xander down, saying a quiet prayer for strength.  Ares appeared, looking confused.  "Demon.  Out of time.  He's depressed."

"Ah."  He came over and made Xander look at him.  "Even if he had you blocked, you still managed it, Xander.  That is what I wanted."  He let him go, watching him, listening to him.  "How stupid are you?" he complained.  He felt the fountain.  "Have this strengthened."

"I slipped."

"I noticed.  Where were you?"

"Through the door that looks like a closet."  Ryan looked up at him.  "I reblessed my sword."  Ares held out a hand then looked at him.  "It showed skill to kill that thing."

"It did.  Why did you have to?"

"He cut us off from all of you.  She might want to check Speed and Horatio."  Ares sent a thought Aphrodite's way, making her scramble to make sure they were all right.  Then Ryan took off his shirt.  "It's still not right, even here."

Ares laid a hand over it.  "It's not.  I imbued it.  How dare he cut me off from you," he said, staring into the house. "I'll deal with him in a minute."

"I think I mortally wounded him," Xander said quietly.

"Good," Ares assured him, patting him to the head.  Then he smacked him.  "Get over it.  That was his doing, not yours!  He had you blocked and you still managed to get around the magic restriction and do this and the garden."

"That was Don."

"It wasn't all Don," Ares said firmly.  "Cupid, come fix him."  Cupid took Xander and disappeared, going to talk to him with Strife.  Ares shook his head.  "I hate low self esteem."

"Ares, the only reason he sees for so many people liking him is his hormones," Horatio said as he walked out.  "He's always been this way."

"He was better before."

"We supported him and he wasn't the one working on the issue then.  It was taken out of his hands by more experienced ones.  This time he was the experienced one and it wore on him."  He came closer.  "He built this by hand but the thing tore it down.  At least once."  Ares nodded.  "He was cut off from everything he knows but us and he wouldn't let us help him."

"It goes back to what he used to be," Ryan agreed.  Ares smacked himself on the head and disappeared.  "He'll be back later."  Xander appeared in the fountain, making him shriek at the cold water.  "Better than spanking him."  Ares reappeared, putting a hand on Ryan's marking, making him flinch and hiss through his teeth as it was reheated and reapplied with a few new marks around the edge.  "Thank you."  Ares flicked a hand at his sword too.  "Blessed be.  Want a deer?"

"I wouldn't mind whatever the big one doesn't want."  He went to talk with Frank, leaving Xander in the fountain.

Horatio started to move but Ryan shook his head. "If he wants to quit leaning on us, he's got to do it himself."  Xander's head thumped.  "Even if he does die from it this time."

"If he does, you lose him," Ares called.

They groaned and pulled him out, making sure Xander lived this time. Strife came down a few minutes later.  "You over your shit?"  Xander looked up at him and shook his head, then grabbed it.  "So, what? The favoritism of three of us ain't enough?"

"It's not like that," Ryan defended. "Strife, look at his past.  See who he used to be and how he got here."

"I was there," he sneered.

Ryan hit him on the arm. "Then you should know pushing him this way will backfire."   They stared each other down.  "He's not like he was then."

"Seems like he went back there."

"As he pointed out, Lord Strife, none of us knew a thing about the demonic or the magic he'd probably have to use," Horatio said respectfully.  "We tried and he denied us the right to help because it was going to take too long to get us up to what we needed to know.  So we worked on the other skills. Including the defense skills."

"I got that part.  Part of him was so insecure...."

"Because you're the first one who believed he could do something besides fuck up," Ryan interrupted.  "Go you.  Wonder where he is now?"  Strife looked around and groaned, summoning him back.  He didn't come.  "Go find him.  Before he becomes terminally stupid.  I'm not losing him because you're being bitchy because life forced him back into his old one, the one that nearly killed him and destroyed his soul."

"You're brave," Strife smirked.

"I'm pissed.  Big difference.  I'll apologize later."  Strife snickered.  "I will.  For many years I'm sure.  Just don't make him crash his corvette with me in it.  Last time the crash was bad enough to watch."  Ryan shook until he left, then looked at Horatio.  "What did I do?"

"You stood up for him.  Someone needed to.  You did a good job, Ryan.  If you're plagued,  you have some sick time left."

Strife grimaced and looked up then went to find Xander.  He found him playing with the dog since the dragon would only stare at him.  He sat down next to him and the dog growled. "You, hush."  The dog settled down and Strife touched his boy's head, hearing him.  Actually listening this time.  What he heard didn't please him.  He smacked him for it.  "Quit that."  Xander glared at him.  "You deserved it."

"No I didn't."

"Yeah, ya did."  He made Xander look at him and undid what the three of them had done at his insistence.  He had been wrong.  Cupid came down to restore Xander's natural balance, ending the surge he'd be doing.  "There, better?"

"No."

"Tough."  He lost control of the chin and made Xander look at him again.  Then he forced some knowledge on him, making him retch.  "That's what would've happened if you had lost."

"I did what she said."

"That was him, not Hecate," Cupid said firmly.  "I'll even go check with her if you want."  He disappeared and came back furious.  "Our bad."

Strife raised an eyebrow. "Pity to be her then."   That got an evil grin from the Love God.  Then Ares came in.  "Undo it."

"Why should I?"

"Because we didn't notice our anchor had been taken. He did that fountain by hand, Ares.  All of it by hand.  Then he rebuilt it by magic when it got destroyed again and he lost his temper.  Hecate sure as hell heard apparently.  Artemis said she got an odd feeling about praying to bring down that deer."  Ares groaned.  "He's our responsibility and we blew it when he needed us the most.  What does that say about us?"

"That you're too busy to put up with me?" Xander pointed out.

"Shut up," Ares demanded, sealing his mouth closed.  The dog growled and he glared back, making him growl harder.  He laughed.  "Good dog.  Most of you are scared when I glare."  He reached down but the dog snapped at him.  "Hmm. Fully guarding the master. Good boy."  The dog whimpered and licked Xander's face.  "He'll be fine."

"Ares, can you maybe leave him alone?  This last time nearly broke him without the physical torture. We'd like our Xander back if you could."  Don came in and squatted down, making Xander look at him.  "Next time, let us help," he ordered.  "Or else I get to nag about this one."

"Will anyway," Xander mumbled.

"The chaos flows strongly around him," Cupid complained, glaring at Strife.

"Yell at Janus!"

"Enough!" Ares said, stopping the petty bickering.  He tested the kid and removed all the magic from around him.  All but his, Cupid's, and Strife's.  Aphrodite stormed in.  "Stop."  She pouted but her eyes told him he was going to be wearing a pink chiffon skirt for *ages* for this one.  He fixed the boy's mind, taking out the memories of what had happened.  Then he sealed them shut.  That allowed them to restore their marks on his body and make him theirs again.  Which was what the boy wanted.  He wanted to belong.  Xander screamed as the marks were renewed, and a few new ones added without their permission.  And again when Ares removed those.  He made Xander look at him.  "Mine."

"Yours, Cupid's, and Strife's."

"True," he agreed.  "You called on me?"  Xander nodded.  "Are you going to again?"  Xander nodded again.  "Do you remember why?"  Xander nodded.  "How?"

"Memory things don't work on me," he said weakly, looking at him. "Never have."

"Another thing we'd have learned watching his past," Don agreed, helping Xander up.  "Come on.  Definitely time for a nap now."

"I'm not a baby," he complained, pouting.

"No, but you need taken care of.  You never let us take care of you.  That's our job, Xander."

"I'm putting you guys out."

"You're not."

"I am!"

"Prove it."

Xander stared at him. "That sigh whenever something happens.  The same one that Danny has whenever he has to help me do something or go pay the bills.  Any of that stuff?" he asked.  Don gave him a look. "I'm trying!"

"You certainly are.  We agreed long ago that we're not enough for you. That's stressing you and us, Xander.  That's not just your life stressing us.  If we were doing this for real, we wouldn't be working."

"Which you'd hate."

"You're right, which is why we put up with the stress so we can still have you.  Trust me, if I didn't want you, I could've walked away the first time I saw you.  Or later on when things started to get cuddly or even when I came across.  I could've easily walked then and I didn't because I want to be here.  Problems and all.  So get that the pointy skull of yours."  He hauled Xander off.  "Don't make Danny think up new punishments."

Strife reappeared.  "Unc, think of Xander like me, only with Cupid's nature," he said quietly.

"I already do."  He looked at him.  "The basis of his self-esteem is how good he is at what he is.  I realized that.  I didn't realize it could be broken so easily."

"Yeah, well not like people stuck around for him."

"Point."  He concentrated and decided he could fix this.  He walked into the bedroom.  "How many times did you win against my chosen warrior?"

"Not enough.  I still have to do my own hair."

"Beyond that."  Xander shrugged.  "Ryan?"  He walked to the doorway.  "How many times does he win against you?"

"With this new style he learned?  I'm still trying to learn counters.  Before?  About a third to a half.  Somewhere in there.  I got more backrubs than I had to do his hair."

Ares looked at him.  "You bet on sparring?" he asked dryly.

"No, it was motivation."

"Whatever."  He looked at Xander again.  "The priests that trained him, how long do you think it took Ryan to win consistently against them?"

"He came home proud when he did.  Maybe a few months?  Six or eight."

"And you can beat the warrior I trained about half the time."  Xander perked up at that.  "If it wasn't for you being Cupid's and that damn switch in your mind, you'd be wearing the same mark, Xander.  Now, if I thought you were worthless, would you be one of them?"  Xander shook his head.

A brunette female appeared, looking at Ares.  "It happens whenever he's got to drop too far during a fight.  It's part guilt and part realizing that he'll never be any good without it," she told him.

He looked at her.  "You're one of the reasons why his self-esteem hinges on his sex skills.  Begone, demon."

"But...."

"Out, Ahn," Xander said firmly.  "Quit trying to get between me and my Gods."

"Fine," she said, staring at him, then she suddenly sneered.  "I can do that."  She waved a hand and took off the spells she and Willow had put on him, then she disappeared.

"What did she do?"

"Cleared what the evil bitches in your life did," Ares said.  "Hecate?"  She appeared.  He stared at her.  "Isn't he yours as well?"

"I'd rather he not be."

"I'd rather you not send me out to die again too," Xander offered, staring at her.  She gasped.  "You did."

"She did," Ares agreed.  He glared at her. "Leave the anchor alone," he said slowly and clearly.  "If he wants to do harmless plant magic, soak up the prayers when things grow."  He gave her another look. "He's got enough fucking going on in his life with Cupid and Strife, plus me trying to control the berserker tendencies."  She gave the boy on the bed a horrified look. "Yeah.  So let's leave the magic alone around him?  Okay?"  She disappeared in a huff.  "I'll have a rain of toads later."

"French generals coming?" Ryan joked.  Ares gave him a dirty look and he grinned.

"Keep it up, kid."  He looked down and touched Xander, recharging his marks. He stared in Xander's eyes.  "Pray to me.  Reconnect us."  Xander started a silent prayer about his darker tendencies, making him smile since it was more than long and powerful enough.  He clipped the two cords of power together, getting one relaxing young man again.  He did one to Cupid and that one was reconnected.  He did one to Strife but not that one. "Mischief," he growled.

"It's innate to him," he called down.  "Otherwise he wouldn't have this problem."  He flashed in and Xander started to glow gold, then silver, then red.  Then he went back to normal and fell asleep.  "There. Bettah?" he asked.

"Much," Ryan agreed.  "Will he be normal later?"

Strife looked at him.  "Depends, kid.  You saw the old Xander.  There's a reason why he's not book smart.  He had to live on a totally different set of wits for far too long before huntin'.  You should read people better."

"I read him just fine," Ryan assured him.  "I knew what he was doing since he was cut off.  He doesn't realize what he was doing.  Big difference."  He walked in and covered him, then kissed him on the forehead.  "Thanks, guys.  Hopefully he'll be better when he wakes up."  He looked around but only Strife was there.  "He felt abandoned."

"I know."  He sat down beside him.  "Not like he's used ta faith."  Horatio came to the door. "He's napping."

"That's fine.  Ryan, your horse was nibbling in the garden."  Ryan shook his head, going out to stop her.

Ryan leaned back in.  "Should I help him fix the fountain?"

"That's his work of faith.  He needs it."  Ryan nodded and left.

"For some, faith is a lifeline, for others a burden, and for some it's only a philosophical thing," Horatio said blandly.  "He decided he had to protect us."

"Not like you guys knew demons."

"No, but some of us could help research."

"And start down his path, Horatio."  He faded out, then came back and whispered in Xander's ear before lighting his marks up again.  The others glowed softly the boy settled into a deeper sleep.  It allowed him to take care of all those remaining problems.

"Don't you dare remove his self-control," Cupid called.  Strife grinned and disappeared.  Cupid appeared and sighed, then did his own fixing of what Strife fixed.  He knew how a GHS should be and Xander was one unique one.  One that blew his mind nightly.  He checked his hormones, then smiled and fixed the conscious block he had on them.  They started to flow again and he sighed in pleasure as the power filled him.  "Better."  He looked at Horatio.  "He gets upset, he locks them away.  It's not good for him."

"I'll remember that."  Cupid grinned at Horatio.  "We've got him."  Cupid disappeared and he came in to sit with him, stroking over his hair.  Xander blinked at him a few minutes later. "Feel better?  More like yourself?"  Xander nodded.  "Then let me explain something.  It felt like you abandoned us, Xander.  Like you wanted us to be helpless."

"You couldn't do that stuff."

"It doesn't mean we couldn't help."  Xander shook his head.  "Because we didn't know anything?"

"Because learning that stuff warps you," he said.  "You have enough horrible things in your life already."

"Yes, but I have Speed to help me when they happen.  The same as I do the rest of my family.  The same as you do in us because we've adopted you."  Xander looked up at him.  "Sometimes family is what you make instead of what you're born with.  In your case we're definitely better than your biological or the one that raised you of Willow and Buffy."  Xander snuggled into his side and Horatio went back to petting.  "I know families are strange to you but we protect you like you do us, Xander.  Sometimes you have to let us protect you."

"You do. You keep me away from the sick bastards who want to keep me."

"True, but we can also keep you away from the other sort that want to keep you.  You have to let us.  So next time, let us help research.  At the very least we could've found more information for you.  It would've helped and given more of us something to do."  Xander nodded.  "Good boy, now, let's go eat.  We managed to save the garden from Ryan's mare."  Xander got up and walked out with him.  "What are you going to do with that door?"

"Keep it I guess.  We can go wander over there and pick fruit or something."  Horatio smiled and nodded, walking him outside.  Don was drinking a beer and complaining quietly.  "I'm sorry."  He started to turn around but Horatio stopped him.

"No, sometimes families have to fight to make things better."  He walked him over.  "Now, say it again?"

"I'm sorry I didn't let you guys help, but dealing with that stuff can warp you," Xander said.

"Not like I haven't dealt with it before," Don pointed out.

"And you're feeling warped by it," Horatio reminded him.  Don nodded at that. "He was trying to protect us and next time he'll let us help more."

"I'm hoping there isn't a next time."  He put down the can.  "How many more of these are there going to be?"

"It's not like I can help it, Don."

"Not the point.   How many more of these should we expect?"

"The highest of the higher courts leave me alone. They don't deal with humans. The lowest of the low, like vampires, I usually end up fighting so they know not to come near me anyway.  They're the mildly annoying ones I end up handling without help most of the time.  The middle?  I don't know.  I have no idea how many demons are strong enough to try it again."

"Calm down," Frank ordered.  "He's not blaming you, he's asking.  If he was blaming you for where you were born kinking your hormones toward them, I'd smack him for it, kid."

"There is a feeling that it'll never end," Danny agreed.

"It will.  This time none of the other ones tried because they didn't think he was worth the energy," Ryan admitted.  "They also saw the way this one failed.  The first one did better gifting him.  Xander told that one he failed since he took instead of asking.  Hate to say this but this is only the second one, guys.  The thing that took us across planes was human and magical.  The demons that took me and him before didn't do it as more than to show off and then we got stuck because Xander did the right thing and fought back.  Then they wanted to tame him.  There's only been two major demons coming after him. The monsoon demon who started off with jewel showers and this one.  Since the monsoon demon and his supposedly adoptive family were behind him being taken by the demons who wanted to prove they were so great by besting him and making him submit to them, it could've been a lot worse."  He patted his lap and Xander shook his head.  "Now.  I can't work on your hair over there."  Xander gave him a confused look.  "What?  I'm thinking and your hair does that."  Xander walked over and sat beside him.  "No, in my lap."  Xander sighed but sat on him, letting him play and braid his hair.  "Don, he handles the everyday ones without you.  You guys, including me, never see how many times in a normal day that Xander has to take himself back."

"Donny told us about the day he retrieved him about twenty times," Danny agreed.

"Do you think having Donny there stopped them?" Xander asked.  "It gave me more backup so I could get free.  It surprises me the days that something or someone doesn't try to keep me.  At the bank, at the grocery store.  I even have proof that children are demonic since one of them tried to take me home."  Ryan snickered at that. "He heard that complaint later that night. The mother yelled at me for her son trying to haul me off like I was his teddy bear.  He had me by the wrist and she yelled at me.  I was hoping he'd lead me to his parents so I could scream at her for letting her kid out of her sight like that."

"She called in a complaint and the officers talked to the child," Speed admitted as he came over.  "SVU told the mother off for letting her son out of her sight.  Then they told her to get his hormones checked.  The kid told his mother and them that he had drug you off, not the other way around.  That you were probably humoring him but he wanted you and you'd be his.  His mother has him in therapy and on hormone reducing meds.  SVU made a note about GHS members.  They got a good laugh out of it and figured you let the kid drag  you off so you could get him back to a reasonable adult too.  What they would have done."  He sat down across from Don.  "Nothing says that you're going to be living with him for the next eight hundred years, Don.  Or that the next one isn't going to be yours to solve."

"He feels the same frustration when there's a situation we can't help," Danny admitted.  Don looked at him. "You have."

"I do."  He slumped.  "I guess it could be worse."

"Yeah, a lot worse," Danny agreed.  He stroked his back.  "Need a break?"

"NO!"  He glared at him. "No.  Xander's family and I don't abandon family, even when he won't listen to me or let me help."

"Doing that sort of research warps someone, Don.  I didn't want you to turn into the guy I used to be.  You'd look cute in my hawaiian shirts, but you'd hate it."

Don shuddered. "I'd never wear them, kid.  I have taste."  He finished his beer and tossed the can into the recycling bin at the end of the table.  "This is destressing at the end of a long, hard day.  We'd go, we'd talk while we drank, and we'd let thing settle in."

"I get that and once Ryan's done with my hair I'm going to go hide from your drinking.  That way you guys can rant about me and I don't have to hear."  He looked at Ryan, who shrugged and went back to doing his hair.  "I should go get some groceries anyway.  Oh, Horatio, if I never said it, thank you for getting my car fixed again."

"You're welcome, Xander."  He kissed him on the forehead.  "You can stay."

"I can't stand the smell of alcohol, especially beer.  It's better if I go grocery shopping."

Ryan finished off the braid and left the bottom undone.  "There.  I'm done for now. If they get that drunk or you're that upset, you can crawl in with Eric and I tonight."  Xander looked at him. "I'm not going to have more than one."  Xander shook his head and got up, heading inside to find his wallet and go shopping.  Speed followed.  Ryan looked at them.  "Having seen and smelled his mother at eight in the morning buying more beer even though she was already drunk, I don't blame that reaction any."

"How can you be that drunk that early?"

"Maybe she hadn't gone to bed yet," Eric said from his seat.  He looked at Ryan.  "Are you crawling in with me tonight?"

"Depends on you, Eric, you know that."  He got up and headed inside, coming out with a six pack.  He could hear Xander and Speed talking in their room. "You call your wife yet, Frank?"

"I did."  He smiled.  "She's confused but it's the same night."  He got up with a stretch, then went inside to get the dear meat he had cut off for himself.  "I'm heading home, guys, before she worries."  They nodded at that.  "Have a better night."  He got in and drove off.

Speed came out with Xander. "I'm going with him to the store.  Anyone need anything?"  They shook their heads.  They watched Xander walk, he wasn't his normal bouncy self but he was closer again.  He even let Speed drive the corvette, which made Horatio moan.

"He's helping him."

"Speed would've made a great father," Horatio agreed.

"As far as I know it's just us that're infertile, Horatio," Ryan said quietly, sipping his beer.  "There are ways around the ban put into place by the legislature."

"Our lives are too insane for that," Horatio told him, giving him a look.  "Are you planning on adopting?"

"Yup, some decade."  He grinned.  "That way I can help someone to be better than I am and not have OCD."  Horatio cracked a smile at that.  "Think about it.  There's enough people in the lab that you don't have to work the insane hours you do."

"The boss might like it if we cut down on the overtime," Danny agreed.  He looked at Don. "If you decided to adopt, Xander would smother that child in attention," he said.  Don nodded at that.  "We'll talk about it in a few years."

"Do what Adam did, marry women with kids," Ryan offered.

"We could."  Don looked at them. "I'm not missing that part.  I'm still dealing with the idea of two or three hundred years."

"We still die, Don, and we don't get to pick the day.  It's just harder to kill us."  Don sighed and nodded.  "So it's the same thing we had before but now we've got more time to love, play, and keep Xander from doing stupid shit or giving up some year and letting someone have him."

"He nearly did earlier.  He said only someone without anything left to lose could beat that demon."  Ryan sipped his beer.  "Then he slipped."

They all shuddered.  They'd have to make sure he knew he had reasons to keep fighting.

Don looked up at the sound of a phone.  "I haven't heard one of those in a while.  Whose is it?"

"Yours."  Don went into the house to get it, coming out shaking his head.  "Miss it?"

"No, I got it.  My newest fan got probation in his deal."  He sat down.

"Well, now you'll understand what being the center of attention that way is like," Danny said dryly.  Don glared at him.  "I doubt he's been straightened out yet."

Don put his head down, moaning as he covered it.  "Don't make me grow my hair that way, okay?"

"Not longer than your shoulders," Ryan teased.  Don glared at him so he grinned.  "Really."

"Thanks, really."  He put his head back down, shaking it.  He heard the corvette pull in and looked up.  "Fair warning, the guy who came to the picnic took probation."

"Restraining order," Speed called. "Tonight, Don."

"I hope I can."  He got up and went to fill out that paperwork, pausing to give Xander a hug.  Xander smiled and Don kissed him on the forehead.  "I've only had the one, I promise."

"I know.  Take your bike if you can move Princess's tack."  Don nodded, grinning as he went to get his bike out of the garage.  Don handed the tack to Ryan then went back to walk his bike out and take off.  It was a nice night for a ride anyway. It'd help him clear his head.

Ryan looked at the saddle, then called the stables.  "Hi, it's Ryan."  He blinked.   "She's ..."  He looked around.  "Huh.  Yeah, apparently I do. Looks just like her.  At Xander's.  Thanks.  No, tack and all, I was just riding around on her.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "He copied my horse," he said once he made sure it was hung up.  "I have a pair of horses."

Xander poked him.  "Can I have one?"

"You can," he agreed, smiling at him.  "I haven't seen the ferrets recently."

"They've been sleeping in the cage today," Horatio offered. "I had to keep the dragon from letting them loose and watching them get lost."

"I'm leaving that other door closed most of the time," Xander promised.  He went to check on his babies, finding them staring at the dog.  "Staging a coup, guys?"  He brought them out, petting them, making them happy ferrets.  And a happy dog.  He hadn't gotten to spend much time with them.  "Hi, guys."  He stroked over their heads.  "Hey, Ryan?"  He went to check, coming back with another dog and a set of ferrets.  "No second dragon?"

"Nope.  But okay."  He let those two down to play beside the daddy too, then went back to close the door and lock it this time.  "Hey, Horatio, if you want ferrets, he copied them and the dog too."

"Don'll be happy," Danny said dryly.  He finished his beer and looked at Ryan.  "Where is my boy?"

"Playing with the four ferrets and two dogs."

Speed leaned out.  "Ours are coming from the pound, guys.  Thanks anyway."  Horatio smiled and Speed went back to putting up the frozen things. He had a thought and leaned out again. "Ryan, is this one pregnant too?"  Ryan checked her then moaned and nodded.  "Might wanna move to a farm, Ryan."

"We have one of those," Xander called.  "I need someone to run it."

Everyone froze at that.  He couldn't mean....

"Xander?" Ryan called, getting up and coming inside.  "Are we talking a *farm* farm, like cows?" he asked from the doorway.

"No, like a former horse farm.  I figured it'd give you somewhere nicer to ride when she had foals.  Plus we could have a veggie garden. I need someone to take care of it and run it, plus pick us veggies."  Ryan looked at him.  "The family was desperate.  Their daughter was dying.  They needed to pay for her treatment."  Ryan groaned. "It's about a half-hour away."

"You were going to do what?  Give someone living rights as long as they upkept it, let them rent out the extra stables for money, and take half the garden?"  Xander nodded, beaming at him.  Ryan blinked.  "Got any prospects?"

"They did.  If they didn't work out, I was going to talk to the person who runs where yours go."  Ryan smiled at that.  "I heard the gate beep."

Ryan went to let his stable keeper in, going to find his horse.  He found her nibbling on a bit of the garden again, coughing.  She looked at him so he grabbed her halter, walking her off.  "Thank you.  Xander will pout if you eat his garden."  The woman who ran the stables got out and looked at them.  "Someone tried to convince me they called my horse to where they were holding us hostage."

"She's nearly the same except for her white sock's on the wrong foot," she agreed, stroking down her side.  "Pregnant too I think."  She looked over the horse's back at him.  "You seem to have this growing problem, Mr. Wolfe."

"Yeah, but Xander may have found a solution.  She's been free-ranging for the last few days."

"That's fine. I've got an empty stall tonight."  She took the tack and put it into the truck.  Then she came to help him load his horse.  This one was a bit more docile than the other one.  "So, what are you going to do with the foals?"

Xander came to the door with his army of ferrets.  "I wanted to talk to you about that."

"Sure, what's on your mind, Mr. Harris?"

"You've heard of Dimitri and Heather Tropton?"

"I have and I think it's great someone bought their farm so they could save their daughter. You?"  He nodded.  "So you wanted to do what?  Find someone to live in the house, work on it maybe?"

"They can rent out the rest of the space if they wanted to.  Or work with kids who were handicapped. We'd want half the garden and I was thinking about getting my own but you're the only space in town."

"So this would be family only?"

"Unless they decided to rent out some of the extra spaces, but they're on the other side of the city from you."

"I could stand the competition.  I had to turn away one yesterday because they had a few too many.  You might call the ASPCA about that. They seized some recently and don't have room."  Xander nodded, grinning at her.  "Other than that, I do know someone who could and run things.  I'll put you in touch with them.  Let me get the other princess back home for tonight."  Xander beamed.  "You guys have been good for me. I get a lot of riding students.  I'll tell the animal folk to call you."  She smiled and got in to drive home, stopping through to get a snack on the way.  Then she called. "I know someone who bought the Tropton farm," she said happily.  "Yeah, he's planning on setting up someone there to watch over the family's animals and take half the garden. But they could rent the rest of the stalls if they wanted or work with handicapped kids according to him.  But it's probably clean.  They kept a spotless barn and I can give you their number.  They'd be willing to lend you guys barn space."  She smiled and ate a fry.

"Nope, I've got to put up someone's new gift horse.  Yeah.  Wolfe.  Yup, with the lab.  No, one of his buddies, Harris, rides with him and was going to get his own.  Then again, Wolfe's horse is pregnant and so is this new one someone gave him.  No, he rents from me and comes out to exercise her every other day at the moment.  About the same distance for him.  Thanks."  She hung up and went to put the horse into the stall.  The two looked at each other and touched noses, then she got put into the stall up the row.  "There you go.  He call you Princess too?"  She snorted and nuzzled her.  "I know.  Let me get you a carrot, greedy."  She got her one, letting her nibble, then the other one.  Then she went to put the tack in the room once she had it marked.  It was good tack.  He was a good owner so far.

***

Xander got out of his car at the new farm with Ryan the next morning, letting him smile at the fresh air.  "See, a ring and woods to ride in. Plus a huge garden," he praised, smiling at the ASPCA truck that was pulling up.  "We need to find a stable hand or do you guys have one?"

"We have one we can let you pay for us for a while," the officer driving promised, getting out to shake his hand.  "Thank you, Mr. Harris."

"I like horses.  Especially Ryan's."   That got a smile and they got them into the ring, letting the horses come down.  Xander looked at one that was shaking.  "Aww, you poor thing," he cooed, getting up there to help.  "You're just a little fella too."  He stroked his head.  "Come on, baby.  There's a good pasture for you guys."  He led him down carefully, watching how he was walking.  "Did they trim him wrong?"

"Hoof infection," she admitted.  She smiled at the people coming out of the house.  "Old owners?" she asked quietly.  He nodded and waved them over.

"Seized ones?" the father asked, scratching under one's mane.

"We didn't have any room.  We've got a stable hand to send out so you won't have to worry."

"It's no worry.  They're good looking animals who need some attention."

"This one has whip cuts," Xander admitted.  He looked at Ryan.  "Get the balm out of the kit?"  He nodded, getting into the trunk to do that.  He handed over the tub of it and he smoothed some, making the colt shiver but he cooed at it and it calmed down, letting him cover the last of them.  "There, that should help and keep flies out of it.  Yes it should, baby."  He rubbed noses with the horse, smiling at him.  "Now, go play."  He walked off.  "Can we put them in the pasture?"

"Sure," the wife agreed, coming to open that gate.  "This way to grass, boys and girls."  Xander led one and a few more followed.  She smiled at how he handled it.  "You're pretty good."

"I try.  I have ferrets, two dogs, and a dragon at home."  The animal cruelty officer looked at him.  "It's not on the exotic list."  She just nodded at that. The last one was standing there and Xander whistled, then nodded. "You, this way."  He trotted that way.  "Good boy."  He patted him on the side. "Good boy."  He walked into the pasture and nibbled some grass, then wandered off to be with the others.  Xander beamed at Ryan.  "Come on, let me show you the barn."

"Sure."  The family smiled at the officer, following behind them so she could inspect the stables.  He and Ryan got some hay out of the carrier and got to work spreading it on the stable floors for them.  That way they could be brought in later.  The water buckets were rinsed but they were already clean. They counted stalls.  They'd have enough room plus for Ryan's two horses, soon to be four.  Ryan hugged him and they grinned at each other.  Ryan looked at the family.  "Did you have anyone that you used to hire to help with the stable work?"

"We and the kids did it," the father admitted.  "I know some people don't like to muck themselves."

"Me," Xander agreed.  "I can but I hate doing it."  Ryan nodded that it wasn't his favorite thing either. "Then we'll hire someone so they have a good, stable home, let them poach out of the garden, and be out here to help when we can."  Ryan smiled at that.  He grinned at the family. "My original plan was to hire a manager."

"Might be a good idea and I know a few good ones," he agreed.  "I can put them in touch with you?"

"Sure," Xander agreed, beaming.  "Not much keeps me in town but Ryan's an officer in the lab.  So's my boyfriend."  That got a smile and a nod. "We'll love the farm just like you did.  And if some day your family wants it back, we'd give that more consideration than the normal people."  That got a smile and a nod from the mother.  "Now, shoo. You've got a daughter that needs you."  They went back inside and he looked at the ASPCA officer.  "We can borrow your stable hand?"

"Sure.  We don't mind.  Which of you has horses?"  Ryan raised his hand. "How on an officer's salary?"

"Xander's a member of GHS.  They were gifted to me," he admitted. "I was playing his bodyguard and they gifted them to me since I was taking care of him."

"Ah.  Where?"

"Shelly's.  Princess is mine.  The new one I got last night looks almost exactly like her.  I didn't really notice the difference until she pointed the white foot was on the wrong foot."  She smiled at that.  "She's also with foal.  So we've got foals coming sometime soon.  Shelly can't handle that and Xander wanted somewhere for family and friends to come destress and ride."

"Sure, it's a great thing.  We may need to come see him again about some horses."  Xander nodded.  "A dragon?"

"You can stop by and see Hubert if you want.  He was another gift."

"Sure," she agreed.  "I'll do that."

"He and Princess get along great.  She gives him rides," Ryan offered.  She smiled at that. "Need more help?"

"No, we're pretty good.  Their owner won't be getting them back. We've charged him with animal cruelty."

"Then what happens if they aren't adopted out?" Xander asked quietly.

"We give the bigger animals more time and there's rescue services, Mr. Harris."

He nodded.  "I wouldn't mind that one foal.  He's pretty and seems like he'll heal fine with some loving attention."

"That's what we hope for all of them. With one pregnant one, it's a sign of hope."  Xander nodded. "We'll see what happens."  She shook their hands and went to call and say that the stables met standards and then some.  Plus the new owners agreed they could hog the stables for now.

Ryan cuddled Xander.  "I love you too, Xander.  Even if you didn't spoil me with my next life already."  Xander grinned at him and they went back to the corvette, Xander stopping to get some treats from the car and bring them back so he could feed them carrots.  Especially that one foal, who sucked up attention like Xander did.  It was a good sign.  He called Don.  "We're coming home.  You should see the ones they seized, Don.  There's a jet black colt that's just loving Xander because he covered his whip marks and is feeding him carrots."  He smiled.  "I'm sure.  Thanks."  He hung up when Xander came back with a bright grin.  "We can bring Danny and Don out later."  Xander nodded and they got in, heading back to the house.   It was a good day in this family.

Settling In.

Don and Danny shared a look, then looked at Speed, who shook his head.  "Keep me out of the pets," he warned.  "I don't want to deal with pets.  The ones we're adopting will be more than enough for me."  He walked off before they could get him involved in going out to the new farm.  "Horatio, they think Xander wants to keep one of the seized horses that's staying out there."

"He may.  He likes to help those who need it," he reminded him with a tolerant smile.  "I'm sure they can convince him Ryan's two, soon to be four, are enough."

"I hope so," he admitted.  "Ryan called and said that Xander covered the whip marks on one and was feeding it, it was sucking up to him."

Horatio sighed.  "Then I suppose he'll have horses and when Ryan or he retires to his next life, one of them will be out there."  They shared a look.  They could go hog a bedroom out there too probably.  "Plus I'm sure we'd be allowed rides." Speed gave him a look.  "It is very calming.  I rode Princess a few times."

"I saw and worried.  She's a trained warhorse, Horatio."

"So?"  He shrugged. "She was perfectly gentle with me."  He got back to work.  Speed slumped but got to work beside him.  So he knew he had won this argument.

***

Ryan came bouncing in and smiled at Frank, going over to Ray and Don.  "Hi."  He held out the pictures.  "I took one of Xander and the colt.  He's so pitiful and injured."

Don looked and moaned.  He did look good with the baby horse.

Ray looked and grinned.  "Cute.  Is he up for adoption?"

"Probably soon.  Why?  Do you think Adam might want him?  He has a few whip marks Xander said but he's nice and he's gentle and he follows orders better than Princess already."

"The animals we have are more than enough," Don said firmly.  Ryan gave him the puppy eyes look he learned off Xander.  "That's cruel.  Go see Danny."

"Sure, but they may be coming to see what sort of animal Hubert really is."  He showed the picture to Frank, who could only shake his head.  "He's a good horse."

"You can't sleep on the couch with a horse, Wolfe."  Ryan rolled his eyes and went to show the others in the family.  Yelina came in with Mac from her last scene.  "Fair warning.  Wherever Xander bought to put Ryan's horses, they're using the extra space right now for the ASPCA's seized horses.  The boy's already got soft and squishy feelings for a young'ne."

Ryan came back with Danny stomping behind him and showed Mac and Yelina the picture.

"He's finely conformed," Mac offered, handing it to Yelina, who only 'aww'ed.  "Riding lessons might be good for your son as well.  I learned balance from mine."

Danny glared at him.  "Help us here, Mac.  Ryan's already got two horses.  Both pregnant.  We don't need a fifth one.  Even if it is pretty and soft according to our boy."

"Lindsey decided to come down.  She'll probably stick up for Xander," he warned with a small smile.  "What did he do, buy a stable?"  Ryan nodded.  Mac sighed and shook his head.  "Who's going to run it?"

"He's hiring a manager and stable hands so I don't have to muck every day," Ryan promised.  "And so he doesn't have to muck every day.  He hates to muck stalls."  He grinned.  "Think she'd want to help me get Princess and Princess 2 stored away this weekend?"

"Probably," he agreed. Ryan beamed.  "For now, let's all get back to work.  We can talk about the new foal when the topic comes up."  It's not like the house had a stable attached to it.  He looked at Don, who raised an eyebrow. "Is there a stable at the new house?"

"One.  It's got my bike in it."  He grinned.  "Unless he buys the neighbor that's annoying him and makes her move, we don't have the room."  Mac smiled at that.  "Good thinking, Mac.  Thank you."  He heard Stella 'awww'.  "Oops.  Well, maybe she'd like to turn into a farm hand?"

"Maybe," Mac sighed, going to talk her out of adopting a horse too.  She was gushing with Calleigh.  "Ladies, even Ryan only gets out to see his every other day."  They shrugged.

"I know I can't fit a horse in my apartment, Mac, but they're so cute!"

"They are.  I'm sure the boys will let you go out and pet them all you want."  They smiled and went to call Xander, who was squealing and babbling over the speaker phone too.  So apparently he was right.  He went to talk to Horatio.  "The ladies want to adopt one too."  Horatio moaned. "Maybe you guys need a mounted patrol down here?"

"We have one," he said grimly.  He called someone he knew over there.  "Phipps, Horatio Caine.  No, I heard through a coworker that owns a horse that the ASPCA just confiscated a few.  That's what I was thinking.  I know you have two about to retire, that would give you time to train.  You should call them.  Which officer rides?  Officer Wolfe.  He's friends with Mr.  Harris and got given two pregnant ones to entice him onto his side so he could steal Mr. Harris."  He smiled. "Someone named Shelly?  Princess is his," he said, laughing at the comment.  "Well, he was told she was a fully trained warmare," he offered. "The other is as well.  I'm assuming they smelled blood on you.  I know Mr. Harris has just purchased a stable for them to live at so he could sneak rides and not have one at the house.  Exactly," he agreed happily.  "They're at his new stable.  We have pictures of one young one that Xander's taken a liking to.  Ryan?"  He stuck his head in, looking interested. "How many seized horses are there?"

"Fourteen.  One pregnant mare.  Two geldings, one stallion, probably why she's pregnant, and the rest are mares but that one colt.  They all handled very well getting out of the trailer and let themselves be petted and looked over."

"Here, talk to Officer Phipps, he's on horse patrol."

Ryan took the phone and walked off telling him about them, promising to send him pictures.  That would be a good way for them to be rescued and adopted.  He brought back the phone once he had downloaded the pictures off his camera and sent them over. "Thanks, boss."  He went back to his lab.

"Keeps me from adopting one of those too," Speed noted sarcastically from his corner.  Horatio glared at him.  "Maybe next life?"

"Maybe next life," he agreed, giving him a look to let him know he'd be making up for that remark later.  Speed smirked and got back to his project.  Horatio went to get a drink and think up evil things to do to him.  He did deserve it for that remark.

***

Xander smiled at the ASPCA officer who pulled in, waving her inside.  "Come on.  Hubert?"  He came out of the study.  "C'mere, dragon."  He picked him up.  "I found the egg and he was given to me."

She scratched his head.  "Well, you're not anything that I know is on the illegal exotics list.  Has he been looked at by a vet?"

"He's had a rabies vaccination.  Our usual vet was trying to figure out if he needed anything that snakes took."  He walked her into the living room, letting her smile at the ferrets.  "Sorry, he let one out.  George?"  The cloned George came out and looked at him.  "Thank you."  He put him back inside the cage and undid the tubes to the far box so they could go play in there.  "Sorry, I was cleaning litterboxes."

"That's a worthwhile thing.  Especially with how bad one of those is."

"He got into some of the plants out front.  Gave him the runs."  He sat down to do the others, letting Hubert help by playing with the dogs, one of who pounced him and used him as a pillow.  He laughed.  "I know, he's very comfy to nap with.  Daddy naps with both of you two."  The dog barked and licked him then went to get a drink.

"They have free run of the house?"

"And the yard mostly.  The ferrets get out at last four times a day to wander around down here.  They like to nap in our bed."  One was wiggling out through a gap.  "See?"  She laughed and helped him then put him back into the cage. "I've got them sealed in the center one so I can clean."

"That's fine.  It's got more than enough room to occupy them."  She patted him on the head.  "You're doing a fine job, Mr. Harris, and if I find out what Hubert is, I'll let you know, especially if he's on the illegal list."  He grinned at that.  "Try to keep them out of danger. I know one of the plants in the driveway is bad for dogs."

"The invisible fence ends about a foot away from that and we've already trained him away from it," he promised.

"Good.  Then you're doing better than most pet owners.  Have a good day and thank you for letting us borrow the pasture."

He grinned. "I know Ryan's boss talked to someone in horse patrol."  She smiled and nodded at that, heading back to her car to go back to work and write up the note on the one animal.

Xander got back to cleaning litterboxes with the other dog's help.  It was necessary.  They were nasty.

***

Ryan parked his car and got out, letting everyone park around him.  His two horses were out in the pasture already.  So he assumed his tack was in the barn.  He looked up.  It was definitely going to storm.  "Got to put them up, guys."  He headed for the barn and that pasture entrance. "Princess, come on, it's going to storm."  They both came trotting in, letting him put them in the further boxes.  Then he came out to slowly lead the other ones in with the help of Horatio and the horse patrol officer he had invited out.  The old owners were apparently with their daughter since they didn't come out.  He looked at the foal.  No halter.  No marks like he had ever worn one.  "Hey, it's time to come in," he said quietly.  It shied away from him.  He sighed and nodded. "Come on."  It backed further away.  "Okay."  He walked off.  "I'm going to get some food.  Want some dinner? Some oats?"  It came closer but it moved away from Danny.  "Danny!"

"Sorry.  Try to put a halter on him?"

"I don't have one and he didn't come with one."  Xander parked and got out with the dogs.  He grinned.  "Xander, come get him inside."

"I got him a halter."  He walked out and tipped his head to the side, then let the horse sniff him and the dogs.  "Come on, it's going to get noisy and wet soon.  Let's go get dry."  He clucked his tongue and the horse followed him with the dogs nudging his back legs.  "Good boy."  He walked him inside using his mane to steer and put him into his own box.  "His momma's not here, right?"

"Not that I know of," Ryan offered.  He looked at the boxes.  "Are we missing one?"

"Fetch the horse, boys."  They went to find the other horse and chase her up to them.  He smiled and went out, looking at her.  "Dinner time.  Wanna eat?"  She neighed. "Good.  Let's go."  He took her halter but she tried to pull her head away.  He stared into her eyes and she settled down. "Good girl.  Come on.  Let's get dry since it's starting to rain."  He walked her inside with the dogs shaking off behind him. "We're going to need an ark."  He settled her into the box beside the foal then got the halter out of the bag.  He took the tags off and measured with his hands, stroking and petting him in the right spots.  He didn't like it but he let him do it.  Then he slid the top band over his ears and hitched it, then the bottom one.  He checked it after a few minutes of him shaking his head, smiling at him. "I did that once. I got really dizzy too."  He fed him another carrot and he settled in, only rubbing it against the stable wall.  "Behave.  Quit that," he ordered more firmly.  The horse responded to his tone and came back, getting another carrot. "Good boy."

"You're training him like you did the dog?" Don asked, looking confused.

"Yeah.  It's the only way I know how to train an animal.  I'm not going to teach him how to play fetch," he offered with a smile.  Don walked off groaning.  He grinned at the colt.  "Let's see your back, young man."  Ryan came in with oats and he salved the injuries, making him twitch his coat but he settled in after a minute.  Ryan looked at him.  "More tiger balm.  They said it'd be a good idea."  The horse patrol officer came in to look at him.  The colt backed off some.  "Shh.  He's a nice guy.  See, let him pet you," he offered, stroking down his back.  "Go ahead."  The officer smiled and rubbed his nose, getting a friend for life.  "Is his halter on right?"

"It's on very well, Mr. Harris.  Good job.  Next you'll have to teach him how to follow on a line."  He quit scratching and the colt nudged him with his nose, making him laugh.  "I can see him being a great officer's horse some day," he praised. "A few of the other ones too."  He finished petting him and stepped back.  The colt whinnied softly and moved closer. "Shh.  You're loved and safe," he promised, scratching his ear.  "You're very safe here.  Even if the storm does get loud you're safe."  One of the other horses started to kick and Danny opened the door, letting him out.  "Hmm.  Doesn't like the storm."

"Doesn't like sounds," a female said, coming over.  "He didn't like the cars earlier."  She smiled at the little one.  "Good work. I noticed he wasn't wearing one."  Xander smiled. "He'll fuss with it for a little while then get used to it.  The softer leather was a better choice for him.  Less chance of irritation."

"I asked the people at the saddle shop."  She smiled at that.  "Horatio said he's with the horse patrol."

"A few of them would make good ones."  He looked out when the horse started to buck, watching as Xander slipped out there.

"Xander, no," Ryan ordered.

"He needs calmed down."

"He'll kick you in the head," Ray complained.  "Let him do that.  He can't hurt himself out there."

Xander rolled his eyes and moved closer, catching the halter in a small jump, pulling his head down to look at him.  "Hey, it's just a loud noise and some light."  The horse's eyes were spooked, he had seen that look before.  He moved around to his side, stroking his neck. "Shh, it's just a big, loud, scary noise.  Noise is what life is about," he soothed, stroking him.  He slowly calmed down to panting with his petting.  "Good boy.  Now, let's try the stall thing.  Get you some water," he said softly, talking to him like he would anyone having a nightmare.  He got him back into the stall and sat with him while he ate and drank, getting him calmed down.

"That's a good job," the officer said, looking at Horatio.  "He want to join?"

"He's a GHS member," Horatio said quietly.  His counterpart sighed.  "Can this break that problem?"

"He probably already did.  He shouldn't have too many more problems again."  Horatio smiled at that.  "We'll have to report he had problems but that they're solved.  He's another fine candidate.  Too bad we only need two.  I'll call the others I know in other cities, let them know."  Horatio shook his hand.  He looked outside. "Not like I blame the poor guy for not liking this one.  I don't like this storm."  He headed out, going back to his office to call from the dry, safe spot.  Plus all his numbers were there.

Ryan leaned on the doorway, looking at them. "He in for the night?"

"He should be okay.  Someone should stay to watch him though."

"We're close enough," the wife assured him.  She smiled and helped him out.  She even patted the nose that came over. "You're a beautiful boy.  Yes you are."  He nuzzled her. "I'll bring you some sugar later, young man.  Eat."  He looked when she moved the food bucket and went back to eating.  She let Xander out, smiling at him.  "Good job."

"He was having a nightmare."  He shrugged. "I don't like storms either. The ferrets and I are going to go hide under the covers."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "You know I don't care if you guys continue to live in the house, right?"  She smiled at that.  "It's got to help your daughter."  He patted her on the shoulder and walked out to his car.  Then he headed to go hide under the covers far from the storm.

Danny and Don shared a look, then nodded at the others, heading off to chase their boy before he got into trouble.

Speed looked at Horatio, then at Mac, who had followed, then at Ryan and the other owner.  "Ryan, your two?"

"They're fine.  I fed them and they're happy horses.  I even gave the pregnant one down there some of what they're having.  The feed store said it's good for pregnant ones."  He grinned.  "I'm going to be a grandfather."  He bounced down to look at his ladies, getting stereo noses to pet and coo at.

Horatio smiled at that, going to look at the foal, who was napping standing up, as was proper.  He snuck off, going back to look at both Princesses.  "They'll be fine."

"I know they will.  Shelly used the extra Xander paid her for me to bring feed and extra hay."  He grinned at him.   "Of course you can come ride whenever you want, Horatio."  That got a gentle smile.  "It also wouldn't be the first time she's ridden double," he said quietly.  "Like you do on his bike."  Horatio blushed a bit but gave him a knowing look.  "It helped.  What can I say?  Xander brushed her for hours afterward."  He let go of the noses.  "You girls eat.  I've got this weekend off so we'll go for longer rides."  That got a neigh and he went to pet that one's nose too.  "Yes, someone will come in tomorrow to look after you guys. You'll be well taken care of, no matter where you end up."  He rattled the food bucket and the nose dove back in.  That was a neat trick she had taught him.  He hugged the wife.  "Thank you for letting Xander help you."  He ran out to his car, heading home.

Horatio looked at Speed.  "He said we could take them out this weekend for a long ride," he offered.  "Go for a picnic?"

"We could do that," he agreed. "We're still not adopting a horse, Horatio."

"I know.  We can borrow one."  He smiled and his husband gave him a tolerant look.  "Mac?"

"Lindsey's going to go insane when she comes down."  He nodded politely at the wife.  "I'll be back this weekend to help, ma'am."

"That's fine, dear."  She smiled as they left, then looked at the horses.  "Now, can I turn out the lights?  Or are you guys going to get fussy?"  The colt fussed when the lights when off so she turned off most of them, leaving him some light.  She gave him a pet to check the halter then headed up to the house.  "You wouldn't believe it but that one got the young one haltered and the sound shy one calmed down.  Claimed he was having a nightmare."  She sat down at the table. "I said I'd pop down later to check on that one."

He smiled.  "If you want.  Anything else get said?"

"He said we could live here as long as we needed to, it might help her."

He took her hand to hold.  "He's good people. Protective.  Who were the others?"

"Steve from horse patrol came to look them over.  One Ryan said was his boss.  Offered him a ride and a picnic outing on his mares.  Apparently the other was his husband and their friend or boss.  One of the two."  He nodded at that.  "They have another friend coming in soon named Lindsey.  That one decided she'd lose her mind."

"Must be fond of good horses.  They are that."

"They are.  Especially that young one.  The boy's got a good hand going with them."

"Even better," he said happily. He handed her a plate.  "We should eat.  Then we'll check on them later."

"You know, he might let us manage the old place if we asked."

"Maybe but I never could turn a great profit."

"Not like he's the sort to care," she pointed out.  "I take him as one doing it for the love and who has the money to do it properly."  He nodded that he'd think about it.   It was their home, they had built this ranch but their daughter's medical bills were outrageous.

***

Xander smiled as Lindsey came off the plane, waving at her from behind the security shield.  She waved back and came over once she had her bag.  "Welcome to Miami, I am the official welcoming committee," he said happily, taking her arm.  "I'm to take you right to the station but Hubert's along since he wanted to bask on the corvette's steering wheel."  She gave him an odd look.  "He's a baby dragon.  He's missing Ryan's horses."

"Ryan.  Like Ryan Wolfe?  The newest CSI on the team?"  He nodded. "How did he get a horse?"

"She's a warmare.  We were together and someone gifted her to him."  He beamed. "He's also a full warrior himself thanks to the training."

"Warmare?"  He nodded, grinning as they walked outside.  She waved a hand.  "We do not have humidity like this in Montana, or in New York."

"It's like this about half the time," Xander said happily.  "It's always nice and warm."  He let her into the car.  "See, Hubert the baby dragon came to say hi too."  He slid in to drive, smiling at her. "I'm to take you right to station but I'm not allowed to bring lunch since the Chief said they don't get anything done for hours whenever I bring lunch."

"That's a dragon," she said.  "They're mythical."

"I know.  I found his egg at a market off-realm."

"You went where they do that dance," she accused.  He beamed and nodded.  "Will you show me?"

"Nope.  Only some GHS members have been able to do them so far and Danny said I'm not allowed to perform in public after the orgy I caused at the convention."  She moaned.  "Sorry.  But if you're really nice to Ryan he might let you play with his mares."  He started the car and moved the dragon off the dashboard, plopping him into her lap. "Hold him, he likes to get under the pedals."  He backed out and took her on, watching her stare for a few minutes before breaking down to pet him.  "Also, at the new farm, we've got some seized horses.  The ASPCA needed stable space."  She gave him a look.  "What?"

"You have a farm?"

"Ryan had to have somewhere to put his two pregnant mares."

She just shook her head.  "Never mind.  I'll ask him if I can go riding some day soon.  Thank you, Xander."  He just grinned.  "You still don't like me, do you?"

"Nope.  Aiden's my buddy.  You upset Aiden and I make your life miserable for weeks on end."

"I have no intention of upsetting Aiden."

"Good, then we're copacetic for a while longer."  He pulled onto the interstate and headed for the station, going a little fast.  The dragon started to wiggle.  "Hold him tighter.  He thinks someone's going to ram me again so he keeps trying to force me off the road.  If we crash, I'm taking the repair bill out of his scales."  The dragon settled down at that.  "Thank you.  I promise, I went over defensive driving with Eric again."  He saw someone in the mirror and changed lanes professionally and courteously.  The other person, not so much since he tried to cut off a semi.  He snickered when the horns started.  The guy wisely kept going and hit the median instead.  He saw the flashing blue lights and slowed down.  One came after him and he pulled over.  "He was trying to follow me way too closely so I changed lanes," he defended when the officer came to his door.

"He did," Lindsey agreed, pulling her ID.  "Blinkers and all."

"Do we know why?  Can I see your license, sir?"  Xander dug out his wallet, then opened the glove compartment.  "And your license to have that in there?" he noted when he saw the gun.  Xander frowned and looked around, then it hit him on the back of the head.  "Neat trick."

"Thanks.  It hates me.  Keeps trying to run away. It's too redneck to put it on a leash."  He handed both over and his registration.  "I have no idea.  Who was it?"

"Someone who works with Channel Four."

"Hmm.  Maybe it's where I tossed one of them off my lawn the other day then."  He shrugged. "I'm a high level member of GHS."

The officer moaned. "You're that one, aren't you?  Caine's penance for being good to the city?"

"I spoil Horatio Caine and his lab rotten," he defended, starting to pout.  "I make them lunch, I make them treats.  They're like my family.  He plays with my pets."  The officer smiled at that and handed it back.  "He does.  Who calls me his penance?"

"A few of the patrol and state boys, sir.  Go.  The trucker will back you up I'm sure."  Xander beamed and pulled away, doing it properly, letting the automatic window function get the window before his license ran away again.  He shook his head and called his partner, who was talking to the trucker, who did indeed back up the guy's story.  He told him who he was and the trucker asked for his address. Apparently he had something for him.

***

Xander walked Lindsey up to the receptionist.  "This is CSI Monroe from New York.  Mac's expecting her."

"They're all in the break room having a conference, Xander," she said brightly.  "No lunch?"

"The Chief called to complain that they don't get anything done when I bring lunch."  She pouted.  "Pout at him, I did."  He leaned closer.  "Who's been calling me Horatio's Penance for doing good things for the city?"

"Some very stupid people who we swat," she assured him, smiling and patting his cheek.  "Go ahead and take her back, Xander."  He nodded and walked her off, taking his visitor's pass from the box and one for her too.  She called someone.  "He heard," she hissed.  "He's upset and he heard.  He's going to tell Caine."

"Too late," Stella called as she walked past her.  "Horatio heard this morning.  There's someone missing skin.  Was that Xander?"  She nodded. "Good.  Now all I have to do is convince the chief he helps us by breaking the tense times so we can have more lunches."  She walked on.

"Mac, I picked her up and I didn't even stop to get her lunch, like the Chief ordered me not to," he said, still pouting.  He looked at Horatio.  "Am I a burden on you? I thought I was being helpful and spoily."

"You are, Xander.  I promise you are."  Xander gave him a hug.  "Go ahead and sit.  We're talking about the Chief's new pronouncement.  Welcome, Lindsey.  I'm Horatio Caine."

"I've heard, sir, and it's an honor to come work in Miami."  She shook his hand and the others, smiling at her people.  "I'm finally here and the humidity is worse than it was the month the lab air conditioner went out."

"No, today's pretty normal for this time of year," Ryan assured her. "You get used to it."  She smiled and sat down.  "Eric can even manage sweaters in the summer somehow."  Eric glared at him.  "You did."

"I do not."

"That baby blue pullover, that's a sweater," Speed agreed.  He looked at Lindsey.  "You don't so much get used to it as figure complaining only makes the air conditioner quit working for longer periods of time.  It gets worse than today."  Xander nodded at that. "Even his hair frizzed last week."  She shivered.  "So, Horatio, what did he say this time?"

"That we'll get a new trainee."  Xander smiled.  "I've put the notice out here within the PD.  They have a month to respond or else I'm going to have to go outside the department."  He looked around.  "If I do, do we know anyone who might want to transfer in?"

"Donna," Lindsey told him.  "She was our trainee."

"Greg or Tony might," Xander offered.  "Tony's a full detective in Baltimore's homicide and Greg's just now starting to trainee in the field according to him."

"Greg would be an interesting trainee," Horatio offered. "He dresses like Speed during his grunge period."  Speed smirked at him.  "Danny, did you want to go with them?"

"Wherever you need me, Horatio."

"Then for right now, I'll stick you back on Mac's team when we split in a few months."  He looked at Mac.  "Your lab's exterior is done."

"The Chief up there is swearing at himself for being so stupid," Lindsey told him.

"Too late.  They're Miami's now," Horatio said with a fond smirk for her.  "We'll have to see what happens there and if anyone would want to go back."

"He tried to take our pensions, hell no," Stella said firmly. "I'm going to kick his ass first."  Mac looked at her.  "I will."

"I'm sure will," he agreed mildly.

"We want tickets for that event," Danny finished with a grin.

"Sure, we'll hold it on the front lawn so everyone in the family can see."  Officer Jessop came to the door.  "What's up, Jessop?"

"The Chief is here," he said.  "He apparently saw Xander's corvette and is looking... purpleish."  He walked off since he had warned them.

"I'm being good."

"You are," Speed agreed.  "It was very nice of you to not make us take time off work to go pick up Lindsey."  The Chief stomped in.  "He was picking up CSI Monroe, boss."

"No lunch?"

Xander pouted. "You said I couldn't.  They'll starve if I don't feed them.  They work too hard and forget to eat.   I know Horatio likes to work through lunch.  Ryan and Speed do.  Eric's always out in the field during lunch so he never eats right.  It'll make him sick to live  on fish tacos and burgers."  The Chief melted. "Just once a week?" he begged, adding puppy eyes.

"Fine, once a week.  Horatio can tell you when, Mr. Harris."  He looked at Lindsey and smiled.  "Welcome to Miami.  I'm sorry about that dreadful accident on the way in."

"I'm not.  The guy was trying to ram Xander and he cut off a semi," she told him.  He blanched.  "We talked to the responding officers and the trucker apparently agreed with us."

"Yes, that's what I heard," he sighed.  "Mr. Harris, it was said he had something for you?"

Xander shrugged. "I have everything as far as I know."  He looked at Don.  "Was your mom or anyone sending down stuff from New York?  It was a New York plate on it."

"Not that I've been told.  If so, that's a lot of fudge."  Danny grinned at that.  "We'll see and deal with it, Xander.  Whatever it is."  Xander nodded.  "Now, trees?"

"Coming in next week.  He found some older growth ones that had to be moved and he's moving them to us.  It's a nice thing and keeping them from being wasted as logs and toothpicks."

"Good.  I like that."  He looked at the Chief.  "We're doing fine, sir."

"I can tell.  Are we clear on how the move's going to go?"  Horatio nodded.  "Then why the meeting?"

"Going over the options for the new trainee, introducing Lindsey to everyone she doesn't know, explaining how the lab works."

"Ah.  Fine."  He walked off, looking much happier.

Speed reached over and patted Xander on the head.  "Good boy."  Xander beamed.  "Try for a raise for us next time."

"I tried last time.   He gave me a look and laughed.  Said he had given Horatio too much already and he was obviously spoiled.  He said if he got more greedy he'd cut his budget."

"I'm not worried, that's what the Federal grants are for," Horatio said placidly.  He'd deal with his boss later.  Maybe a surge outside his office....  Speed caught his eye and gave him a look.  "Fine, I'll let Xander pout at him again."

"I like your plan better, boss," he said with a fond grin.

"How did you know what he was thinking?" Stella asked.

"The evil look in his eyes was all I needed to see.  I knew what was going through his mind.  Or I could be wrong and he could be planning to bring the ferrets to work again."  He shrugged.

Horatio smiled.  "As long as they weren't in the lab."

"Valera said she found more cracker crumbs," Ryan noted.  "I assured her they've been at home."  He looked down at the nibbling to his ankle.  "Hey, Hubert.  Did you come in too?"

"He wanted to bask on the steering wheel in the sun," Xander admitted.  He grinned at Danny.  "Lindsey wanted to see me dance."

"If you do that, she'd try to take you and then I'd have ta shoot her," he said back, sounding fond. "No public performances, Xander."

"Yes, Danny."   The GHS members sighed in pleasure.  "Not even for the family?"

"I'd like to see it," Mac offered.

Don stared him down.  "Sure, if we handcuff you to the chair you're in," he said then he grinned.

"I saw the training copy Xander gave Horatio," Speed offered.  "Handcuffs won't be enough, guys."

"He has good self-control," Lindsey defended.

Sheldon looked at her.  "Lindsey, I saw Xander practicing one day and nearly hurt myself," he said plainly.  "Even with handcuffs, Mac would still try things without his conscious mind working.  It's said those dances can raise a GHS member's level."

"That's still unproven," Horatio said firmly.  "Also, we do have a good subculture of GHS members in the city, Lindsey, including those in the department."

"You mean some of them work?"

"The lower levels can handle it better," Xander told her.  "You worked with one before and didn't know it."  He grinned.  "We get a membership guide every year."

She looked at Stella and she burst out laughing, shaking her head.  "Oh, no.  I like chocolate as much as the next girl, but no.  Aiden's the one sucking up chocolate like it's her life's blood."

"They said the gift certificate was only good for two years," Speed told her. "We've already asked, you can buy more gift certificates with it."  She smiled. "Eric, make sure she knows that."

"I will."  He made a note to himself.  "This lab and precinct protect Xander and the other GHS among us," he told her.  "We're like a family here, Lindsey."

"Was it Ryan?  Xander said he had been given horses and that's a pleasurable thing."

Ryan grinned. "I'm the family's protector.  If Xander has to get into trouble, they send me for some reason."

"You got injured," Eric told him, shrugging a bit.  "If you hadn't, one of the others would've went to watch Xander learn how to dance."

"No, because we don't have immunity from it yet," Speed complained. "Not even him."

"Some," Ryan offered. "Not total," he said at the looks.  "After thirty minutes or during some of the more intense dances?  Not yet."  Frank, Yelina, and Ray came in.  "Guys, this is Lindsey Monroe, she's from Mac's old lab as well."

"Speaking of those dances.  Some of us wanna see," Frank ordered, looking at Xander, then at Don.  "Can you?"

"A very little bit, Frank.  I need a lot more flexibility to do that."

"Horatio?" Yelina asked.  He grinned at her.  "Do not teach my son."

"He's not old enough yet," Xander assured her.  "Can we teach him how to ride Ryan's horses?"

"If you must," she sighed.  "No lunch?"

"The Chief said I couldn't," he pouted.  "Only once a week."

She frowned.  "That man has to quit meddling.  You're wearing some of those urges out by spoiling the rest of us."

"They're calling me Horatio's penance for doing good things for the city," he said, looking pitiful now.  "Even the receptionist.  Stella heard her."

"That'll be stopped," Frank assured him.  "Now, quit pouting."  Xander gave him the pitiful look. "I promise, we'll help stop it, kiddo. Just quit."  Xander nodded, resting his head on Danny's shoulder.  "Thanks."  He looked at Ray Kowalski, who was walking out.  Then he came sauntering back with his bottle of water.  "Good trip?"

"Much."  He smiled sweetly.  "Teach my boyfriend to head to Paris without warning," he said dryly.   He flopped down beside Xander and gave him a hug. "How is the dragon?"  He pointed at where he was nestled in Speed's lap.  "Awww.  Hi, Hubert."

"Yelina doesn't believe he's a dragon," Frank told them.  Hubert raised his head and gave her a 'what are you smoking' look.  She came over and Speed let her have him for a few minutes, Frank smiling when she cooed at him.  "He's a very good napping buddy, even if he does like to release the ferrets to run around with him."  He looked at Xander.  "Call something in for us?"  He grinned and did that, sending the careful text message to someone. It came back declined.  He looked at his card, then took Danny's wallet to get that one.  It went through this time. Frank grinned.  "Thanks, kiddo.  The wife forgot."

"Frank, her mother's sick.  She's got more important things to fuss over," Xander reminded him.  "She's got to nag nurses and swear at the doctors, plus rant at God."

"True, and she does that then comes home to clean the house in frustration.  Even Wolfe would think it was clean."  Ryan grinned at that.  "Seriously.  She bleached the dishes.   I ate out last night and the night before."

"Rinse them in vinegar then wash them the normal way, Frank.  Rotgut, dollar a five gallon drum vinegar.  The same stuff you use to clean the coffeemaker."  He grinned at that.  "I learned that lesson the second time."

"How did you stand living in the dorms?" Eric asked him.

"In a private room," Ryan said with an evil smirk.  "I tried to have a roomie the first two semesters.  They ran screaming from me.  I even repacked their things for them," he finished fondly.  Everyone laughed at that. "The college got proof of my OCD after that and couldn't make me pay extra to have a single room.  It was nice of them and I moved off campus shortly afterward. A student-only apartment complex.  We traded help.  I cleaned, they cooked for me.  I got to be the pretend boyfriend for the two lesbians who lived upstairs and they told my mother I was a good boy who'd never think of doing dirty and nasty things that would require touching another person.  They even protected the fish I used to have."

"Your mother and I get to have a talk soon, right?" Xander asked. Ryan shook his head. "Please, Ryan?  Pretty please?  I won't make you do my hair if you lose our next sparring session."

"I like your hair.  It helps me think."  Xander shifted over, letting him comb through it with his fingers.  "Boss, I was thinking.  The Dupree case?  Could that be a hit?"

"I'd hope not.  It's possible."  He looked at Xander, who was grinning.  "Let Frank do it, Xander.  He's got a case I can't find any evidence on.  He's a great muse, Frank."  Frank sighed but petted his hair.  He frowned.  He thought.  Then he slapped the table and went to make a call.  "Told you so," Horatio called after him. "Thank you, Xander."

"Welcome," he said proudly.  "You know I like to help."  Calleigh giggled at that. "I do."

"You're very helpful.  Especially when you feed us."  She got the page and went to get the food, carrying it back, wincing when she finally let it onto the table.  "Really hot, guys.  Paper plates?"

"The didn't send plates?" Xander asked. "Usually they're so much better than that and I ordered drinks too."  She went back to check, finding the delivery person with the second bag of things, taking them with a smile.  Xander got up and kissed his lovers on the cheek.  "Later, guys.  Happy snacks."  He headed out, then came back to get his dragon from Yelina.  "If I leave him Don will complain and the Feds will come back."

Horatio looked at the dragon.  "Should you get caught by a Federal investigator, burn him."  The dragon wiggled down and moved to beg Stella into feeding him some of the lasagna.  "Good.  Go, Xander.  Behave and plan where the trees are going."

"Yes, Horatio."  He bounced out, smiling and waving at the chief and the other guys.  "There might be some left later, Jessop."  He grinned at him. "Horatio's got a trainee position open."

"I'll spread that around, Xander.  What did you get them today?"

"Lasagna.  Plus I gave Frank an idea.  A lot of the CSI like to pet my hair while they think."  He shrugged and walked out.

Jessop went into the break room to blatantly steal some of the food.  "Thank you, sir.  I'll pass around the new opening in the lab."  He looked at the dragon, then shook his head.  He looked at Horatio.  "Sir, there's been some suggestions that some of the patrol officers might be needed to calm Mr. Harris down now and then.  I know they're not right but a few have suggested it.  Would you like their names or should I just point them out to Wolfe so he can cut into them with the sword in his locker?"

"Point them out to me.  Ryan's not allowed to use his sword in the building," Horatio said quietly.

"What are they saying?" Eric asked, digging in.

"Something about lining them all up and doing a chorus line maneuver to Mr. Harris and others like him if they had to so the chaos around him would calm down."

"No, that would get the rest of us very upset," Danny assured him.  "Have some garlic bread, Jessop."  That got a smile and he took some of that too, heading out.  "Ryan, you've got a sword in your locker?"

"And in my car.  It's what I am, guys."  Horatio looked at him. "It is."

"No using it at the station without my approval, Ryan."

"Yes, boss."  He ate a bite and grinned once he had swallowed.  "I try not to be a good boy like Xander is."

Yelina giggled at that, throwing her balled up napkin at him.  "Try harder, Ryan."  She dug in and moaned.  This was good.

Horatio looked at Ryan.  "You do try," he agreed with a small smile. "Maybe I'll start sending Eric with him."

"He might like being stolen."

"No I wouldn't.  I'm not fond of the whole 'Xander's family is a harem' idea that some of his suitors have either.  I'm not one to lay there and take it."

Ryan looked at him.  "Really?"  He grinned.  "Have to remember that."  Eric gave him a dirty look. "And tell Aiden."  Eric blushed and looked away, shaking his head.   "By the way, you forgot my birthday too."

"I'm sorry."

"Tonight."

"Sure, I'll be sorry tonight," he agreed.  He looked around, seeing the speculative looks.  "Did anyone remember your birthday?"

"Xander and Horatio did.  Horatio left me a card in my locker.  Xander sent me a special eclair cake."  He grinned. "I told him not to make a fuss."

"When was your birthday?" Calleigh asked. "You never even hinted."

"Last week," Horatio told her.  "The day he was on the sugar rush from that cake made of eclairs."  Ryan could only smile at that.  He knew he was guilty as charged on that count.

***

Xander got home and found a truck in front of his gate, and the waiting neighborhood patrol guys.  "What's going on?  I'm not moving today."

"It's for you, sir, we don't know anything else," the usual driver said from the passenger's seat. His cast was hanging out the window.  "We'd like it if you fixed it though."

"I'd like to know what it is first."  He looked at the trucker. "I'm sorry the guy trying to ram me cut you off."

"You did what you should have, sir."  The man took off his hat.  "I taught my daughters the same move.   Most truckers are protective sorts."  He handed over his clipboard.  "This was ordered for you, sir.  I'm just the driver," he offered.

Xander looked at it, then at him.  "Someone ordered a chocolate what?"  The driver nodded. "How big is this thing?"

"Eight foot, sir.  Um, where should we put it?"

"Hopefully in someone's freezer because I don't even have a chest freezer."  He looked at the clipboard again.  "How did they freeze it?"

"They've got it packed in cold packs and things.  It was only shipped from Orlando."  Xander looked at the plates and he smiled.  "The company."  He nodded.  "I've got to deliver it, sir.  They won't let me not deliver it."

Xander signed and opened the gate.  "To the garage, watch out for the dogs and any possible ferrets."

"Sure."  He grinned and handed over something else. "That's the other thing I'm carrying.  I have no idea."

Xander looked at the name at the top.  Cartier.  Uh-huh.  "Same spot please."  That got a nod and he drove the truck up to the house.  Xander called Don.  "I think we have another one.  Well, there's a giant chocolate monument and something from Cartier here, Don.  Did you order me a chocolate monument?  Or Speed and Horatio?"  Don asked them and got 'no's from them too.  "Come home on time tonight?" he requested.  "Thank you."  He hung up when he saw another truck coming up.  He blinked, then looked at the patrol guys.  "Do not ask me.  I have no idea."

"We know these things happens."

"Yeah, apparently to me."  This one was at least a smaller truck.  It was for a game show and driven by a familiar driver.  He sat down on his hood, watching as it went to another house.  Then the driver looked at him and winked. He sent a prayer about his new chocolate monument, hearing the cackle and seeing a head shake.  He whimpered and shook his head, looking down.  "Damn it," he muttered.  He got in and headed up there pulling around him so he could park in the garage.  He walked inside and moved the ferrets and the dogs out of the way, getting a smile.  The driver put the dolly down and slid the box off, letting him have it.  "Thank you," he said quietly. "Need a tip?"

"No, sir.  Just wondering what you were going to do with it?"

"Well, right now I'm going to go into the bedroom and cry," he admitted, giving him a look.  "Then later on, I have no clue what my boyfriend will be doing with it."  The man nodded and patted him on the back, heading back to back down the driveway.  The animals all appeared suddenly in the living room and the doors were locked, then Ares appeared.  Xander looked at him.  "Worried they'll follow you home?"

"Worried they'll try to leave with the truck, Xander."  He looked inside the top of the box, then at him.  "Why would anyone send *you* that in chocolate?"

Xander shrugged. "I have not a clue, Ares.  You're the god, aren't you as omnipotent as Q was on Star Trek?"

"Yes, but not even I can fathom this one.  Or him for that matter. What's in the case?"

Xander opened it.  "Girl jewelry?"  He looked up. "We do realize I'm gay, right?" he called.  "Gay and *male*?"  Unfortunately neither one changed.  Xander gave Ares a hug.  "I'm going to take a nap now.  Love you."

"You go nap, Xander."  He watched him go, then looked in the box again.  If that were to scale on a human...  That did make him think.  And smile.

***

Don walked in first.  The others were behind him and he got to see the monument first.  That's all the neighborhood patrol guys would say.  He saw the crate and checked it.  It was still cold.   The others came in and he waved a hand. "Here it is.  I don't see dinner either."

"Pizza's coming," Xander called weakly. He wandered into the kitchen. "Can someone make that go away?"

"I'd love to, let's see it first," Danny told him.  Xander handed him the briefcase. He opened it.  "It's girl stuff.  Again."  Xander nodded, giving him a look.  "Okay."  He put it down to the side and Speed got the pizzas, signing the slip in Xander's name.  "Let's open this thing."  Xander handed him a claw hammer then wandered off again.

"Xander?" Horatio called.  He heard the semi-hysterical laugh.  "Go cuddle the dogs."  He took the hammer and opened the top of the crate, letting Don and Eric take it off.  Then a side.  Then the side touching the first one.  They all stared at the eight foot vagina.

"That's one large...." Eric started but Aiden nudged him.  "What's in the corner?"  Horatio pulled the cover off that, finding a six foot white chocolate dildo that was built like a slimline one.  He started to giggle.  "Um."  He ran outside to cackle at that.

"I'm going to agree with Eric," Calleigh said, going to hug Xander.  "We'll cut into the six foot white chocolate vibrator," she soothed.  He let out another hysterical sounding laugh.  "Shh."  He looked at her and shook his head.  "It'll be okay."

Horatio came out.  "That is tasteless in the extreme, Xander.  Yelina's taken a look and went to tell her son he has to come in the front door."  He sat on his other side. Xander rested against him.  "We'll talk to this new one."

Xander looked at him.  "I'm not a girl and I hate girls.  Girls are bad and evil."

"Not all of us."

He looked at her.  "I'm not dating you!  You'd turn evil too!"

"I might," she agreed, giving him another hug.  "It'll be okay."

Danny leaned in.  "Anyone mind if we take an axe to those things and spread it around to the group?"  Horatio shook his head.  "Speed said you guys didn't need any."

"Give me some of the white chocolate, Danny, please."

"Sure."  He went to find the axe and clean the blade, then carried it inside.  "Everyone out of the way!"  Everyone but Ryan moved. "You too."

"We'll have to hold it.  Neither one's very stable."

Yelina took the axe, cutting into it.  That was an affront to her femininity.  It was not going to be allowed, or near her son.  She panted when she finally got the outer lips cut off.  Danny took it back and went to work on the main part of the vagina.

"Someone somewhere would say something about the symbolism," Speed joked.  "Women doing female castration.  Gay men destroying that which they don't love."

Don put a piece in Speed's mouth.  "Your own slutty side is showing, Speed.  Go wear it out."  He turned him around and gave him a shove.  When Danny was starting to sweat he took his turn with the axe, wearing himself out.  He handed it to Ryan, who got into the dildo.

"Horatio said he wants a piece of that," Danny told him. Ryan handed him over the foot thick piece of the tip.  "Thanks."  He found some saran wrap and covered it then went to hand it to Horatio. "First off the top."

"Thank you."  He looked at Speed, who was nibbling the chocolate he had been fed.  "Is it good chocolate?"

"Decent.  Better than Hershey's, less than the stuff we've got at home."  He finished off that piece.  "We'll freeze the dildo chocolate."  Xander let out another whimper.  "Knock him out?"

Horatio nodded and did that.

Mac came in and looked then at the others.  He had been running late.  "What was it?"

Don handed over the camera.  "Sit down," he said before he could get into the pictures he had taken while Danny went for the axe.

Mac sat down and looked at it, then at him.  "Stella's where?"

"Giggling with Eric and Aiden on the front lawn with Ray Junior."

Mac handed back the camera and got chunks of each from Danny.  "That'll last me forever."

"Feed them to Stella, Mac."  He walked off blushing.  Danny looked at Don. "Did I read that wrong?"

"No."  He took their chunks and put them into the freezer.  Ryan's went into his car.  The others all got their parts but Yelina, who was still scowling. Don nudged her.  "Whoever gave Xander girl jewelry too."

She snorted. "It's the hair."  She went to talk to the boy, making sure he didn't like that sort of thing.  He was protesting that he hated women so she supposed it was all right.  As long as he didn't spread that to her son.

***

Horatio found the clue he'd been needing and sat back, sighing in frustration.  It appeared his brother was alive.  He would have to find him.  He was family.  He cleared his computer and got up to go back to work and think.  He needed to think.

Trainees.

It had been a month and things were back to normal now.  Xander's last present giver had been found and reminded he was gay.  She had accepted back the necklace and was thanked graciously for the chocolate.  No new upsetting presents had been sent. Then again, no one had applied within the department for the lab opening.  So Xander was one again playing welcoming committee.  He squealed when he saw Greg, giving him a hug.  "Hi."

"You're here too?"

"Did you forget I'm dating Danny?"

"I did," he admitted, then he grinned and shrugged.  "It's all good.  Let me get my bags and then we'll go."  Xander nodded and let him do that then they headed out to the corvette.  "Awww, baby," he cooed, petting it.  "Such a pretty baby."  Xander beamed at him.  "Do I have time to get changed?"

"When's your interview?"

"Two hours from now."

"Forty-five to the house.  Thirty-eight to the station, lights willing.  If you do it *really* fast."  Greg shrugged and they got in, heading back to the house. "How is Vegas?"

"Las Vegas is always Las Vegas.  There's no other way to describe the tans from the neon and the showgirls."  Xander giggled. "How have things been down here?"

"You would not *believe* what I got given last time," he said, glancing at him then back at the road.  "An eight-foot chocolate vagina and a six foot white chocolate dildo.  Honestly."  Greg curled up laughing at that, howling at it.  "Really.  They ended up taking an axe to chop it up.  Plus girl jewelry.  We had to tell her I'm gay and she was very understanding."  He looked behind him.  "That stupid reporter bitch," he complained.  He looked then changed lanes like he should, then sped up just a bit.  He was now officially over the speed limit by about three miles an hour.  Of course, a state trooper pulled him over.  "Well, maybe you should change shirts in the car, Greg."

"I will."  He smiled at the officer as he came over.  "Sorry, officer.  Was he speeding?"

"By about eight miles."

"It's sixty-five, I was doing sixty-eight," Xander told him.

"It's sixty in this stretch, sir.  License and registration?"  Xander dug it out with a sigh. "Thank you."  He wrote it out then looked at him.  "Do I know you?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Very.  I've never met you before in my life."  He took his ticket and signed it then handed their copy back, putting it on the dash.  "Can we go?  He's got a job interview."

"Fine, you go, boys.  Go slower."

"Sure, if you get the woman following me, I'll gladly do that," Xander said, pointing at her and her cameraman.  Then he started the car and drove off.

"I knew I knew that name."  He looked then stormed over there.  "You start that car and I'm yanking your license!"  She froze, giving him a horrified look.  "Who was that and why are you stalking him?"

"He's the crime lab's flunky.  I'm trying to figure out who he is.  Can I see his ticket?"

"No," he sneered.  "That's against regulations.  Were you the reason he sped?"

"We *all* know this is a speed trap," she sneered back.  "So, who was he?"

"None of your business.  Get off my road."  He stomped back to his car and got in, calling it in.  He got instructions and followed her to make sure there wasn't a problem.  Though he did learn who he had ticketed.  It made him pleased.

***

Horatio looked up as Xander led his applicant in.  "He didn't have time to change. It's my fault.  I got stopped for going sixty-eight in a sixty-five-supposed-sixty zone."  He held up the ticket. "Since when is that stretch sixty?"

"It's not," he admitted. "I'll check on that, Xander.  Mr. Sanders."

"Lieutenant," he said with a grin.  "I don't want any special treatment because of the group."

"Good.  Would you like to clean up in the locker room?"

"If I could? I didn't want to wrinkle the good clothes on the plane."

"I understand.  Let me lead you down there."  He smiled at Xander.  "Go to my office."   Xander bounced that way.  "Who was following him?"

"Some blonde woman with a camera guy."

"Her again," he said grimly.  "Let's let you get changed."  He opened the door.  "There you go, Greg."  Greg smiled and walked in there, going to clean up a little bit more.  He came out ten minutes later with his hair fixed, in an actual button-up shirt, and no tie, but dress pants.  The others were in his bag.  He was still in his sneakers, but he was just like that.  He found Horatio up the hall and went to lurk in plain sight, getting a smile while he signed paperwork.  "Let's go the one of the interrogation rooms.  Eric's looking up that speed trap."  Greg shrugged and nodded.  So he took him in there.  "How long have you been a trainee for Grissom?"

"Six very long weeks of getting all the dirtiest jobs and trying to live up to Warrick's standards of perfection.  The guy brings enough stuff for three scenes, extra clothes, and keeps it all together beside his bed every night."  Horatio moaned at that.  "I'm realistic.  I'm human.  I'm also not allowed to be myself there.  I'd like to be myself.  Yes, I'm not a stick in the mud guy.  I'm not uptight.  I want to do the job and not lose who I am."

"Which is a wonderful goal.  We're a bit more lax in personnel matters down here," he admitted.  "Though we do have to do a lot more with the higher classes than you probably did."

"I don't care what sort of cases I work on, Horatio.  I like being a guy who has a sense of humor now and then.  Who has hair that can stick up and be a bit crazy on the bad days.  Who can listen to his iPod in the office."  Horatio smiled at that.  "Since I've been under Warrick's tutoring, I've had to grow my hair and make it look like everyone else. I can't wear t-shirts, even plain ones on most cases.  He doesn't like that I have a dating schedule and I'm sorry, I love the lab.  I'm not giving up my life for it."

"I agree.  You shouldn't.  We do spend a lot of hours here but that doesn't mean that you can't date and find someone special.  Especially with what I know about you."  Greg nodded. "You probably realize there's a few of us in town."

"That's fine.  Are they going to study me like Grissom does?"

"I'd hope not.  Xander would get very upset."  He cracked a smile at that. "He would.  What sort of cases have you worked, Greg?"  He heard a commotion start and looked outside, then sighed.  "Wait here."  Greg nodded, getting comfortable. He walked out there, finding Xander yelling at the reporter.  "What is going on?"

"She stalked me here, stuck a microphone in my face outside your office, where you told me to wait, and then demanded I tell her who I am and what I'm doing to help you."

"Go wait in my office," he ordered.

"I can't.  Two bullies just pulled me out of there and decided I should be under arrest for doing what you told me to do."

Horatio glared at the officers around, and one of them pointed. "I told him to wait in my office for me.  Put him back."  They drug him off. "He is capable of walking."  Xander got free and kicked on in the shin.  The guy took a swing, a true, hard, punch at Xander.  Xander ducked and got him in the chest, then in the nuts.  "Xander.  Off."  Xander pulled back and stomped off.

"You're going to let him get away with that?" the guy's partner, the pointer, yelled.

"Yes, I am. I told him to wait in my office.  You had no reason to go up there in the first place and definitely no reason to remove him.  Then you treated him like a suspect.  I will not have that.  He has been an asset to this department time and again.  Am I clear, gentlemen?"  They stepped away from him. "I asked a question."

"What, he your boyfriend?" the hurting officer sneered.

"No, though he is seeing an officer in this building.  Anything else you wanted to know?"  He heard a polite cough.  "Get them out of my precinct, Rick.  Now."

"What happened?"  The reporter turned to look at him.  "Turn it off and give me the tape."

"I don't..."  Horatio took it and handed it over.  "Thank you, Horatio.  And the problem is?"

"Xander was nice enough to do us a favor and retrieve one of the job applicants for the open trainee spot.  He knew him from his last trip to Vegas, where they met."  Rick nodded slowly at that.  "He's part of their crime lab."

"Okay, so he's the trainee applicant."  He looked into the interrogation room and Greg grinned and waved. "Him?"

"Yes.  Xander got him here in time, but there had been a problem.  Namely this woman stalking him, again."  He glared at the reporter, his hands on his hips again. "Erica doesn't even know who he is.  She accosted him somehow outside my office, where I asked Xander to wait to talk about the speeding ticket he got in that speed trap by the airport."

"I've heard about that.  Technically it's due to construction that hasn't started yet.  It's an iffy situation."

"Which is why I asked him to wait.  So I could see if it was or not when he asked."  He looked at Rick again.  "Apparently his trying to get away from her resulted in some officers coming to drag him off like a suspect.  When I told them to put him back, they tried to drag him off again.  Xander did kick one in the shin for intentionally pulling his hair.  The officer took a swing.  Xander hit him twice.  Once in the chest and once in the genitals."

"Where is he now?"

"My office, where he should be.  I have further need of him later on to pick up more applicants.  He's bored and it means the department doesn't have to reimburse for more than gas if he asks.  Which he probably won't."

"That's nice of him.  Who are we talking about?"

Horatio stepped closer.  "The one with the hair, Rick."  His eyes went wide.  "He knows a number of the applicants already.  He's a good choice to greet them.  He's personable, fun, and outgoing."

"He is.  Plus it gets him out of the house," he agreed.  "Is he all right?  Going to press charges?"

"No," Xander called, coming back with Danny.  "I'm not."  He looked at the officer. "It's against policy to pull anyone around by their hair, even when it's as long as mine."  The man growled and took another swing at him.  Danny shoved him into a wall.  "I don't know what your problem is. I don't care.  I don't know you or want to know you. I was doing as I was told.  If you don't like it, yay.  You countermand Horatio."

"You're a ...."

"If you open your mouth it will be held against you," Rick Stetler warned patiently.  The man glared at him.  "Messer."  Danny nodded back. "Please calm him down before we have an accident."

"Xander."  Xander brooded but that was normal.  "By the way, the speed trap?"

"Iffy.  It's construction related but hasn't been started yet."

"Huh.  And the fact this is one of the guys who ....."  He glared at the reporter and took the camera, ejecting the digital backup and handing it to Horatio then the camera was put down against the wall, safely out of the way of things.  "He's one of the guys who calls him penance?"

"He said he didn't know who I was.  He thought he recognized my name, nothing further.  They're entitled to their opinions.  I could care less if you hate me or not until you try to act on it and I have to defend myself.  Taking a swing at me is dumb."  He looked at Horatio.  "Who else was I supposed to get?"

"You might want to borrow Don's car.  There's three coming in on the same flight from New York.  Then there's one later tonight from LA and one from Chicago coming in.  I can have them escorted to their hotels since their appointments are tomorrow."  Xander nodded. "Thank you."

"I like you, Horatio.  You treat me like a human being, even when you do fuss now and then because I'm out on my own."  Horatio smiled at that.  "Don's car?  You're sure?"

"Take mine," Danny said, handing over his keys.  Xander grinned and skipped off. "Hey, corvette's keys?"  Xander tossed them back, letting Horatio catch them and hand them over.  "I'll treat it like you would if I've got to drive it."  Xander beamed and waved, heading off again.  He pocketed the keys and looked at Stetler.  "He have an issue?"

"Not if he's not going to press charges."

"I am," the officer assured him.

Danny looked at him and snorted.  "You do that. Xander will as well.  You took a swing at a civilian while in uniform."  He got given a glare.  "Like it or not, there's gay people in this city and in this department.  A hell of a lot of us.  So back off it or go to another city."  He stomped off again.  "Sorry if I overstepped, I hate bigots.  Bigots deserve retribution."

"Your reward should be being happier than they are," Horatio ordered.  "Thank you, Danny."

"Welcome. Next one I pop myself."  He walked off, going back to the lab to tell the others it was okay again.

Horatio looked at the Internal Affair's officer.  "So," he said dryly.

"Let me.  That's wrong.  I'll see if I can get him some counseling.  There's a clear anger issue there.  What about the reporter?"

"She'll be staying since Xander's file a restraining order against her.  Since he's not a public figure."

"He has tapes out," she said firmly.

"Only to a select few people."

"He's a porn star," she sneered.

"Not by his choice.  Those were private tapes that were aired.  They've been stopped to my knowledge.  He is *not* a public figure, Erica.  I would let you go but you won't honor the restraining order."  She huffed and stomped off with her cameraman in tow once he got his camera back.  Horatio went back in there.  "Sorry you had to see that."

"It happens to the best of us.  We've got bigots out there.  Everyone but Grissom thinks that I only know one of me."

Horatio smiled and shut the door.  "That can happen, even here. Most of the people around here are very tolerant and we do have an official anti-discrimination policy that does include sexual orientation."

"That's good. I like that.  That and how you stuck up for your guys.  I liked that a lot, Lieutenant.  I'd be honored to work with you and have you train me."  Horatio smiled.  "Then again, I'd also be honored to have two days off during spring break."  Horatio laughed at that.  "I know I'm not the best qualified. I came at it through an odd route.  I realize that, it's been told to me before.  I also realize that I'm hyper and intelligent and that can be an annoying combination.  The same as I realize you're probably going to yell at me for wanting to wear t-shirts on the job as well."  Horatio pulled out a picture and slid it over.  "Oh, momma.  A grunge tech.  We do exist."  He smiled at him. "That's like the holy grail for me."

"I know, Greg.  Now he's more of a button-up and jeans sort, but still fairly scruffy. I don't mind your hair.  I don't mind Ryan's hair and it's gone through some odd phases as well.  Trying to be someone else won't make you a good tech and you'll end up suppressing all that guides you to find the truth."  Greg nodded at that wisdom.  "Then again, I thought Warrick was as OCD as Ryan Wolfe when I met him."  Greg grinned at that.  "I have a copy of your evaluations from Grissom.  He did say he didn't want to see you go but you might feel more comfortable down here."

"There's an ocean.  I surf.  There's people like me and I can hang with them.  Our lab's a family but it's one strange one.  They're tight with some and then the techs are like pariahs. I'm in the middle and I hate it, Horatio. I want somewhere they're going to value me as more than a trainee and an extra pair of hands."

"We all want that, Greg.  We'll see who else applies and weigh you against them."

"That's what I want," he agreed, shaking his hand.  "Thank you, Lieutenant."

"You're welcome, Greg."  He smiled.  "Are you staying at a hotel or with Xander?"

"I didn't even remember he came from down here.  So I'm booked at a hotel."  He grinned.  "Free cable."  Horatio nodded at that.  "Thanks.  Cabs are where?"

"They can call you one at the entry."

"Sure. Thank you."  He shook his hand again and left, heading down there with his bag.  It had felt good to him.  Like he had a shot.  He nodded politely at the officers when he passed them then smiled at the guard.  "Can you please call me a cab?"

"Any particular company?"

"Nah.  I'm new in town and I came in for a job interview."

"With?"

"The crime lab.  I'm a CSI trainee."  That got a nod and the guard called him a cab.  Not the most clean or sweet smelling cab but still a cab.  He got in and let him take him to the hotel, hoping he didn't pick up the stench.

Ryan walked over and looked at him.  "What's against the lab now?" he asked.

"Harris hit one of us."

"Harris hit one of you who took a swing at him.  You should feel lucky the rest of us didn't hit him too."  The guard shivered.  "Also, Xander can protect himself in some situations.  We also know that those three particular officers were switched to another precinct due to gay bashing another officer."

"Who?" he asked quietly.

"Me."  The guard swallowed.  "So, no, not heros by any stretch of the imagination and I'm going to remind some others that they were sent away in disgrace due to that.  Xander is like my brother. You hurt him, you deal with me.  Understood?"  That got a nod.  "Horatio stuck up for him because Xander was doing what he was supposed to do. They interrupted that.  The reporter *someone* let into the lab interrupted that.  Not saying who, but there's a restraining order."  That got another moan.  "So, quit fucking with the lab."  He walked off, going to talk to the boss and remind him of that.  "Hey."  Horatio looked at him. "Did you recognize them?"

"Two of them from the locker room a few years back," he admitted, giving him a look.  "Pointed that out?"

"Crims was the guy who broke his hand on my locker and who Xander got in the nuts.  Yeah, I did to the guard.  All three were there, Horatio."

"That's fine, Ryan.  If they continue this pettiness, I will lodge a complaint."

"That's great but they just got Greg the smelliest cab in existence."

"It'll be handled."  Ryan nodded and left it in his hands.  Horatio turned and found Stetler standing there.  "You heard?"

"Of course I did and I did see my own notes.  He will have counseling for that.  Give it a day, it'll blow over.  It has in the past."

"This has been ongoing," he admitted.  "Calling him my penance for doing good deeds."

"I've heard that as well.  That's mostly the people who believe he's turning you gay."  Horatio snorted. "Remember, I do know."

"I know you do, Rick, the same as I know what Miss Summers told you."  Rick nodded at that.  "His friendship is a reward, not a penance.  He's one of the most loyal people in this city and he protects me like family."

"I've noticed he mother hen's you."   He smirked.  "I'd say that's the real penance for doing it to others."

"Yes, but I don't mind it from him.  Was there something else I can help you with?"

"Ferrets?"

"Xander's loved me.  They are loving little creatures.  Anything else?" he asked smugly.

"New trainees?"

"No one locally applied."

"That's because they're afraid of turning into Wolfe.  Who's suddenly very scary."

"Thanks, I'll mark my journal with hearts that you said that," Ryan said from behind him.  "Boss, Xander said one of the ones from New York either caught a different flight or didn't find him with the others.  He even tried paging her and Mac said he hadn't heard anything either."

"Thank you, Mr. Wolfe.  One less stress on my day."  Ryan smirked.  "You will be helping with the new trainee?"

"Sure.  Not an issue.  Oh, he said to warn you one has clothing issues?"

"Interesting.  Thank you."  He went to watch for them to come in.  He wanted to see which one hadn't shown up and which clothing issues that would be.

***

Xander parked and got out.  "This is the crime lab building.  Just remodeled a year or so ago from what I was told.  If you'll follow me, I'll take you to the locker rooms so you guys can freshen up or change clothes if you want."  He smiled and led them inside.  "More trainee interviews."

"That's fine, Xander.  Let me see some ID's please?"  They let her sign them in and then handed over visitor passes.  "Xander, it's shift change.  Give them ten minutes?"

"Sure.  I'm sure Horatio won't mind."  He smiled as he led them off.  "This is the lab's floor.  We share a changing room with the patrol units.  It is a unisex changing room or so I'm told."  That got some nods and Xander saw the 'women changing' sign up.  Since they were two women and a guy, he pulled the guy out of the way.  "You might want to check."  They went in boldly and he only heard one person ask.  He looked at the guy.  "Give them a few then you can have it.  Or I can lead you to the bathroom if you'd rather."

"Might be better.  I think I had the earlier interview time."  Xander smiled and led him that way, coming back to find one of the women was done but still in a skirt that was going to give him nightmares.  He recognized her now.  She was the one Stella had taken the gift card to fix.  He shifted some.  In the right light, her face did kinda look like Ares.  Maybe an offspring somewhere in her line and she got the bad genes?  He shook himself when Danny walked past.  "Danny, this is...."

"Donna," she said, smiling and shaking his hand.  "I replaced you in New York."

"Well, welcome to Miami.  The trainee's replacing me here when I go back ta Mac," he offered with a grin.  Though it did seem a bit fake.  "Xander, Horatio's in his office. I'll tell him you're back?"

"Sure.  The other one's in the bathroom up the hall."  He nodded and fled.  Xander smiled at her.  "So, how did you find New York?"

"Decent enough.  It was rather fussy.  Mac's a bit strict about his clothing as well."

"We get that down here too.  Ah, another of your possible coworkers.  Eric Delko, this is Donna, she's applying for trainee.  She's formerly from Mac's team and he couldn't bring her."

"Hi," he said, forcing himself not to look.  "Welcome to Miami.  I hope you like heat and humidity.  That's the weather down here.  Xander?"  Xander grinned at him, giving him a 'save me' look behind her back.  "Dinner?"

"Dinner's good but I won't have time to cook."

"Okay, I'll start, you'll come home and help."  He shrugged.  "Anything in particular?"

"I don't care. There's leftover pizza."

"Even better," he decided.  "I've got to figure out what to get Ryan for his birthday on the way home."

"Eric, as long as it's sincere and it's not a sword in a big red bow, he'll be fine with it," he said, grinning at him.  "And yes, I did mean yours."

"I know.  I'd never do that.  I like my sword."  She gave him a look.  "Xander's learning sword fighting with another tech and I.  Ryan's pretty good with a blade.  So's Xander."

"Thank you."  He grinned.  "Just think, that dancing is actually self-defense."

"That I wanna see."

"Tell Danny, he told me not to show off in public again."

"True."  He nodded and made the mistake of looking down, covering by looking at his file.  "Okay, well.  Jewelry?"

"Are you two going to be together *that* way?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "Event tickets?"

"Mexican wrestling?"

"That is funny.  Sure.  Thanks."  He grinned and walked off, forcing his mind away from the picture he had seen.  He ran into Stella.  "You worked with her?"

She glanced around the corner and waved, then went back to her conversation.  "I told her to burn that skirt," she offered.  "It's gotten worse," she whimpered, heading out there.  "Xander."

"Stella."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "I'm sure you remember Donna, but did you know Steve?"  Steve nodded politely.  "He's in from one of the non-felony labs from... was it Queens?"

"It was," he agreed, shaking her hand.  "I was most impressed with your lab's stats and cheered when you kicked the mayor in the nuts for closing your lab."  She smiled at that.

"It did feel good," she quipped, patting him on the cheek.  "Who else came up."

"Haybert from my lab.  She's fussing over her hair or crying to relieve the stress I would assume."

"That can happen.  Let me check on her."  She smiled at Donna. "You guys all know Miami's like August in New York ten months out of the year, right?"  They all nodded.  "Well, at least you'll be able to wear t-shirts down here."  She walked into the changing room, shuddering in horror.  "Haybert?"  She came out of the changing room with one bobbypin in mouth and another in her hand.  "Need help?"

"Please.  It's not cooperating."

"Sure."  She came over to help her put her hair up.  She looked her over.  She looked professional.  "Don't call Horatio sir," she said quietly.  She nodded.  "Tell Steve?"

"Xander did.  Was she the one that...."  Stella nodded.  She shuddered.  "No wonder I heard she left bits of herself at a crime scene."

"Sheldon found it," she offered, making her giggle.  "Okay, there you go.  I can tell you he's seen one so far.  The trainee out of Vegas wanted somewhere he could be himself.  Greg was a DNA genius."

"It's good to know my competition."  She shook her hand.  "Nice shot with the mayor.  Would've done it a second time were it me."  She winked and grabbed her briefcase, walking out.  "Sorry, hair wouldn't stay up for anything with this humidity.  Thank you, Stella."

"Not a problem.  The lab here is a very tight family."  She smiled as they walked off.  "Um, Donna?" she called.  She looked back.  "I can see pale skin.  You might wanna pull it down in back," she mouthed.  She pulled down her skirt in the back but it didn't help much.  She shuddered once they were gone and texted Horatio.

Who Danny had already warned.  So at least he managed to keep his face neutral when he saw them. "Xander," he said, hugging him.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, Horatio.  Are you guys coming for dinner or is it going to be a quiet night in?"

"Probably a quiet night in. You should have a few more of those with your men."  Xander beamed and nodded, going to find his men and see if they were ready to come home yet, plus to get his corvette's keys.  He smiled at the three trainee candidates.  "Welcome to Miami.  Xander's not on the staff but he is dating in the lab and bored. That's why I let him pick you three up.  This way?" he led them back toward his office, then into the break room.  "Let me start off by saying this is a felony lab.  The position is very hard at times.  For those of you without any field experience we do work some long hours but the reward is in putting someone away.  My lab is also like a family.  So the whole lab will be training you even though you'll be assigned to a single mentor."  Donna raised her hand. "Yes?"

"We do have gay officers?"

"Miami has a very strong anti-discrimination policy.  For the most part there's not any problems, though earlier today we had one officer with an issue.  Those of us in the lab have usually met any boyfriends or girlfriends within a few months if they're serious because we do gather for group events."  He saw movement and looked.  "Yes, Frank?"

"I managed to break Henderson somehow.  He's crying and said he did it even though the evidence is against him doing it.  Where's Danny?"

"Page him.  Xander may have stolen him home already."

"No, he's with Flack.  Danny made him pout."

He paged Danny and he came out.  He nodded at Frank.  "I broke Henderson."

"Was it hard?" he asked.

"No.  He's confessing."

"He's trying to cover for his son it looks like.  Let me get one last report and I'll be up there in twenty."

"Sure.  Thanks."  He walked off.  Frank looked at the others.  "Hi, I'm Detective Tripp, one of the homicide detectives.  Welcome to Miami.  If you come down, you'll see a lot of my smiling face too."  He grinned and two of them smiled.  "Is the group doing anything tonight?" he asked, trying hard to block that image out.  Now he knew why they called her Hirsute Woman.

"Quiet nights in, Frank."

"Sure."  He walked off.  He'd get with a few others to have a beer and pick on that one girl.  He accidentally caught sight of her again when he was waiting on the elevator.  No wonder they called her Hirsute Woman!  It looked like her legs and what was between them had longer hair than Xander!  He ran into Stella.  "You tried."

"I did," she complained.  "A lot.  Even Lindsey tried a few times, Frank."  She gave him a hug. "It'll be okay.  He won't hire her.  Hopefully.  If he does, I'm handing her hair clippers."  She saw Calleigh coming. "She's down," she mouthed.

"Who?"

"Hirsute Woman."

"Really?  Where?"

"The break room.  I can't stop seeing that.  She has more hair than Xander."

Xander looked over from Don's desk, where he was being petted.  "I noticed.  I'm gay and I got stuck.  It's that bad," he complained quietly.  "I almost want to drink to forget it.  I got stuck alone with her for twenty minutes while the others got their bags and had to stare because she sat down and didn't cross her legs."

Don got up and had to see this.  Horatio was moving them one at a time to his office so all he had to do was go in and get Xander a soda.  He had to stop outside and collect himself first though.  He was about to shudder.  He walked in.  "Hey, guys, how ya doin'?" he asked, slipping change into the machine and hitting the soda button.  Wrong one.  "Damn."  He sighed and did it again.  Calleigh would appreciate the soda and they were on a case together.  He walked back there, handing her hers.  "I got stuck," he moaned.  "I want to shave myself now."

She gave him an odd look.  "That bad?"  Xander nodded quickly, letting Don pet him again.  "Sure."  She walked off.  "Beers tonight, guys?"

"Please," Ryan called.  He popped out and looked around then shuddered.  "Eww.  How did Eric not react?"

"He's seen some skanks at the bars?" Xander suggested.

"True."  He looked around.  "Incoming boss," he said.  They all got to work, all but Xander, who was still being petted.  "Having trouble with the case?"

"I am but he's very helpful letting me think.  Hey, Chief."

"Must you do that?"

"He helps me think."

"Gave me a damn good idea on one of the ones I was stuck on when I petted him too," Frank admitted.  "Nearly as good as the dragon."

The Chief sighed and walked off.

"Um, no," Stella ordered.  "Don't.  The trainees are in to interview in the break room."  He shrugged and walked that way. "I warned him."  He came back twenty minutes later looking normal.  "She must've been gone already."

"I saw her walking," he admitted.  "You did try, CSI Bonasera.  I thank you for that."

"I tried to get her to change up there too.  Didn't work.  I even took her shopping."  She shrugged.

"You tried.  Fortunately I know Horatio has more taste than that."

Speed came out of the labs, looking horrified.  "If he hires her, I'm going to have to hold her down and shave her, then hand her underwear.  No wonder Sheldon said he found one of her pubic hairs on a scene.  The other two are in there dissing her behind her back too."  He shuddered.  "That's one skanky woman.  Who looks a lot like Ares from the show, anyone else notice that?"  Stella nodded.

Xander's head popped up.  "I think maybe there was some mingling of the genes and she drew the lucky ones."  His head went back down and Don moaned.

"Do I want to know?"

"He's petting him," Frank offered. "It's safe to come over."  Speed came over.  "We know Horatio has a good poker face.  Beers with us after work?"

"Please."

"Even I wanted to drink to forget that," Xander said quietly.  Don gave him a hug and he grinned.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  You get the corvette's keys back?"

"I didn't because Danny's hiding on me."

He paged Danny with the word 'keys'.  One of the patrol officers brought them and shrugged.  "He'll be this way in a few minutes."

"Thanks."  He handed them down to Xander and went back to petting him, reading over the file. "I keep sticking on this brother-in-law and there's no reason for it."

"Gut instinct?" Frank asked.

"Maybe.  He might be guilty of something but not this one.  The evidence said female or weaker."

Calleigh leaned down to look, petting Xander too since his head was in the way.  "Personally I think he's a con artist.  He seems like that to me."

"Maybe."  He typed him into the database, finding him.  "Yup, three arrests for fraud.  Huh.  Do we think maybe he was covering something up?"

"Could he have been shamming his new family?" Xander asked.  They smiled at him and got up to go talk to him.  "Welcome."  He sat at Don's desk and put his hair back together again.  "That's why they like to pet me."  The Chief just moaned and walked off.   "It is," he defended at Frank's amused look.

"I know.  Who was King Hair Gel earlier?"

"The vampire was here?  Dark, brooding, wears a trench and silk?"

"No, the blond, Xander."

"Oh, that's Greg.  He's from Vegas.  His trainer out there is perfect."

"Ah.  Yeah, we've seen some of those around here.  Who was training him?"

"Warrick."

"He was down on a case a few years back."  He shrugged. "He seemed really happy and bouncy...."  He looked at him and Xander just grinned. "Another one?"

"Members do not talk about each other, Frank.  It's a bad thing."

"I know.  Still."  Xander just gave him a look.  He sighed.  "Well, is he good?"

"He's a DNA God."

"Self-described?" he teased.

"No, his college paper for his masters covered his thesis and they called him that."  He grinned. "He's a nice guy.  A bit playful but a nice guy.  Think a happier version of Danny with a sense of humor who occasionally likes to play 'what ingredient am I' as a game."

"Sure."  He smiled at that.  "He sounds like he'll be a good tech."

"He's getting there but Grissom's got him with someone who reminded me a lot of Ryan when I first met him."

"Yeah, I noticed he had actual wrinkles."

"Frank, there's times when you're traveling that you can't bathe," Xander said dryly.  "When we got taken together that first time it broke some of that."  He grinned at that.  "It does."

"I'm sure it does," he agreed.  He looked over as Horatio came out and got into Yelina's drawer.  "Aspirin's on the other side.  She moved it when Ray came in wearing paisley."

"My fault," Xander admitted.

"She knew that, Xander.  Trust me."  He grinned.  "Did you take Ray shopping?"

"I did.  He helped me a lot."

Horatio looked at him.  "We'll start going together again, Xander."  He took four aspirin and went back to get the other tech, stopping in Speed's lab when he saw him with his iPod on.  "What?"

"We're going for beers later."

"Works for me," he agreed, going to get the last one. She was reasonable. She wasn't trying to flirt with him.  She told him she had a family and a son, he appreciated that since the job did call for some long hours now and then.  Halfway through Eric knocked and walked in.  He smiled at her and excused himself to go handle the issue.  Eric smiled and chatted with her about some of the recent cases, getting some good feedback and getting to know her.  He liked her, even though her skills and evaluations weren't what he thought was needed.  He found the drunk officer slurring that sometimes you had to line all the distracted officers up and have them until they calmed down, then move onto the next one.  That one he drug to IAB personally and handed over then stomped off with a 'you should look into my trainees'.  That should traumatize him fully so he'd be left alone for weeks again.

Stetler came out of the break room with the cup of coffee for the intoxicated officer, his eyes wide and his hands clutched to the cup.  He didn't care if he burned.  Burns were better than the image he couldn't quit seeing.   He knew this was punishment now.  Damn it!  He didn't want to see her!  Horatio might have to hire her if she was the best qualified and then he'd have to see her daily!  They might even make him give her personal hygiene lectures!  He was going to have to leave Horatio alone for a few days.  He was getting mean again.

***

Horatio looked at the team.  "There's two more interviews and one who called later to say she had been in a car accident and couldn't possibly make it."  He sipped his beer. "The two best skilled are Greg out of Las Vegas, and Donna."

"Can we strike her off the list for being a skank?" Speed asked.  "Just right off the bat drop her down for that?"

"It's bad when even I can't find a compliment to give a woman," Eric agreed.  "I know Stella took her shopping."

"I even got her pants."  She poured more beer from the pitcher.  "Sheldon did find one of her pubic hairs at a scene, Horatio.  There's a good reason to put her down the list."

He nodded.  "That does downgrade her for me.  Then again, they've all made mistakes.  Greg's a good choice but there might be a small issue."

"How high was he?" Eric asked dryly.

"Four."  He took a drink.  "Without a keeper."

"We know a few single women and men who'd make good keepers," Speed pointed out.  "Plus a few officers who would."

"We do," he agreed.  "Greg wanted to go somewhere he could be himself.  He said Warrick's a bit uptight about his expectations."

Ryan looked at him.  "We all know I've got cleaning issues.  Warrick carries two to three kit's worth of stuff in his vehicle, all the forms there, filed and alphabetized, plus spare clothes, spare water, and he's got copies of all his case files with him.  During his off time, he puts his main scene kit together with his clothes and some water so he's all together if he gets a call.  Warrick is Super CSI."

"Greg's not?" Calleigh asked.

"Greg's a lot like Speed," Ryan admitted.  "Very individual.  Greg's a lot more goth rock than Speed is."

"Thanks," Speed said with a grin.  "Greg's a happy, bouncy, smart guy.  He'll be a great tech if he finds a mentor who won't grind him into their image."

"Which was what he said," Horatio agreed. "I showed him the old team picture of you in your band t-shirt.  He prayed to the Grunge CSI gods."

Speed grinned.  "He'll find a style somewhere between me then and me now, Horatio.  We talked at the convention and he knew what he was doing.  He needs a mentor to stop him from making rookie mistakes and from chasing wild hairs up his ass."  Danny walked in and plopped down.  Speed pushed down the beer and he got a glass, plus paid for the next pitcher.  "A second run in or Xander?"

"Second run-in.  What was Mac thinking?" he asked Stella.

"She had good references.  She had solved a few really good cases.  She wanted it.  They interviewed over the phone once and once in person.  She's got skills with face modeling.  Plus she scares some suspects into breaking."

"I'm already scared," Danny said.  He looked at Horatio.  "I'll stay, please don't make them work with her?  Even Monroe said some stuff."

"She and Lindsey did not get along that well.  Even worse than you and Lindsey did," Stella agreed.  "Donna tried.  Lindsey used to call her the Abominable Snowman behind her back."

"I'm going with the shorter yeti tag," Danny agreed.  "What about the others?"

"I had one that doesn't have the skills but wants it and Greg so far.  Steve's nice but he's not very clear what being in the field means.  I went over a few cases and he turned rather pale."  Horatio sipped his drink, looking at him.  "You talked with Greg?"

"A few times.  He was a nice guy."  Horatio smiled at that.  "By the way, Xander left stuff in Vegas.  It came today.  They cashed out the last of his chips for him since he hid some in the bottom drawer too."  Speed moaned and Eric laughed. "Heard about that?"

"I didn't but I heard about the boat trip," Eric told him.

"No, Xander spent two weeks gambling at the baccarat and high stakes poker tables," Speed sighed, shaking his head. "He lost for nearly a week straight in there somewhere.   The rest of the time... well.  He said he was evil."

"The day we got there they made him cash out," Danny told him.  "They said he had too many chips in the room.  Considering it was filling two bedside tables and the safe?  Just a bit."  He sipped his beer.  "He spent what at Armani with you, boss?"

"Nearly twenty thousand on all of us," Horatio admitted.  "Including the next gift certificate he'll have stored."  Danny moaned.  "By the way, you're getting clothes for your birthday too."

"Figured I was."  He shook his head.  "He took 'em two other places too.  Spoiled Tony horribly!  Let him cut loose and be a goofy kid again. Even got him a 'smart look'."  He grinned.  "Then he danced a second dance to teach it."

Frank looked at him.  "I still wanna see."

"Sure.  We'll handcuff everyone down and let him show off.  He's been meaning to, and then he can show us how it's really self-defense in disguise."  He took another drink and looked at him.  "Your wife will think you got dosed with something."

"Yeah, but I'll have fun," he offered with a grin.  They all laughed and those in the know gave him very telling looks.

***

Horatio knocked on Xander's door the next day, making him a bouncy happy person because he wasn't alone.  "Good morning."

"Morning."  He gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  "What's wrong?"

"Well.  I'm in a dilemma.  I like Greg."

"But you don't think he'll fit?"

"I'm not sure he can handle the field without a keeper."

"Then talk to him, see how he's handling it up there.  He's got more stress up there."

"I plan on it.  No, I'm having another sort of dilemma.  How do you get the ferrets when they're comfy hiding where they're at?"

"Jingle balls.  Food treats.  My hair.  Want me to go try?"

"If you wouldn't mind.  Caesar's hiding."  He handed over his keys.  "Also, can you stop my nephew?  He called and said he's skipping today too."

"There's a reason for that.  It's called harassment."  He gave him a knowing look.  "Sometimes it's not easy being the son of an officer.  Especially not the nephew of a great one who makes the papers."  Horatio just nodded at that.  "The kids are ragging on him badly and he's unable to concentrate at the moment.  Even the teacher's called them on it during tests and things and it hasn't helped."

"What would you suggest?"

"Another school."

"I'll talk to his mother.  Keep him with you today?"

"Sure.  I can do that."  He grinned.  "Anything else?"

"No, that should do it. Thank you, Xander.  Yelina and I will talk later."

"It maybe should come sooner than that.  I think he told the principle he wasn't going back about a week ago."  Horatio looked at him. "He's been here most of it on the computer.  I found him out the first day while I was getting groceries and brought him back to talk to him."

"I'll talk with Yelina this morning after I do the interviews.  Thank you, Xander.  Caesar's in the kitchen closet in Speed's bag in there.  She won't come out and she bit both of us."

"Sure."  He smiled and left.  He went to call Ray.  "Someone finally told your uncle you weren't going?"  He smiled, listening to him. "I've got to get Caesar out of the kitchen for him.  Wanna help?  He said I should keep track of you today."  He beamed.  "Meet you there."  He hung up and went to put on sweats and to pull his hair back.  He'd probably be crawling around.  He headed out with the dragon, who the ferrets all liked, and went to pick up some treats on the way.  The dragon got a new rawhide, making him a happy lizard, and Ray got breakfast when he got there.  "Okay.  Kitchen closet."  He smiled and waved at Horatio's neighbor.  "Helping with his pets today."

"That's fine, boys.  Raymond, shouldn't you be in school?"

"No, ma'am.  I'd slug someone."  He nibbled a bit.  "Uncle Horatio knows."

"That's fine, dear.  I'll watch over you two today."  She smiled as they let themselves in and she shook her head.  That boy had such a promising future but only if he went to school.  Well, she was sure Horatio could handle it.  Maybe she'd get one of them to change the lightbulb she couldn't reach later on.

Xander wiggled his braid in front of the bag and the ferret made a grab so he grabbed her, looking at her.  "If you hide from the daddies, they worry."  She squealed and tried to get free so he handed her off, looking in the bag.  "No wonder.  Sure, we'll move them into the soft cube, Caesar."  He carried the bag out there, then came back to check for any fallen ones.  He found one baby ferret shivering and warmed him in his hands on the way.  Then he put her and the babies into the soft, hollow, sleeping cube.  She ran in there to check them over, nuzzling them all.  He sat down to check the bag, finding one last one to put in there.  Then he put the bag onto the counter with a note saying it needed washed and called the pet store.  He grinned at Ray.  "Stay right here."  Ray nodded. "Thanks.  She'll need some special foods."  He went to get it and came back, finding Ray gone. "Ray?" he called.  He found a note and sighed, then looked up and growled something in the most common, gutteral demon language.  Ray reappeared looking horrified.  Xander got him calmed down.  "You all right?"

"I'm fine.  He didn't touch me or anything.  Just checked me out like I was a cow."

"To him, you probably were," he said bitterly. "It's the downside of being GHS.  It comes with the gifting."

"He said I was too young yet, but it was clear the harem was raising me correctly.  You have a harem?"

"By demon protocol my family and those I gather around me are considered my harem."

"Ahh.  Does Uncle Speed growl at that?"

"Now and then he thinks it's funny but not usually."  He let Ray help him set things up for the momma ferret.  At least until Speed got home for lunch.  Xander pointed and grinned.  "Daddy!"

"No, if you were mine, you'd be a better kid."

Ray laughed.  "Wouldn't he be grandpa since it's his ferret whose a momma?"

"Excuse me?"

"Caesar's a girl."

"I guess she's getting fix then.  What is it with us and adopting pregnant things?"

"I don't know," Xander admitted.  "Fortunately Beauty's fixed."

"Want some more?"

"Ask Danny."  He grinned.  "Ray's successfully fought off his first kidnaping."

"Yay," he said flatly, glaring at Xander.  "Weren't you supposed to watch him?"

"I ran out for ferret momma stuff.  He was gone when I got back.  They sent him back."

"They said I was too young but you guys in the harem were raising me right," Ray offered with a smile.

Speed snorted and shook his head, heading into the kitchen.  He saw the cupcakes and smiled.  "Good thing I brought a hummer home."  He made himself a sandwich and hugged both boys.  "Talk about school stuff today?  That way Horatio and Yelina have an idea."

"I told mom it was bullies who decided I was fair game due to her job."

"She blew it off?" Speed asked between bites.  He nodded.  "Oh well.  Got another one in mind?"

"Yeah, but I'll have to beg majorly."

"Where?"  Ray leaned over to whisper in his ear, getting a look.  "That's mostly thugs, Ray."  He finished his sandwich and dusted off his chest and mouth.  "We'll see though."  He shrugged.  "What do you like about it?"

"The more project oriented nature."

"Okay.  I'll keep that in mind while we talk to your mom later.  She was livid this morning."  He went back and picked up the cupcakes, taking them out with him.  "Thanks, Xander."

Xander shrugged.  "At least it's a start."

"It is.  Mom's not the most understanding at all times."

"Ray, you could probably pass a GED right now but you'd never do anything above that."

"Point.  I want to go to college.  I don't know for what, but I want to go."

"If you can log onto Horatio's computer, we can look at the schools in the city."  Ray smiled and took him to do that.  Horatio had left his computer on for them.  With the Miami School Board's page already pulled up.

***

Speed walked into the breakroom since Horatio and Yelina were there.  He put down the cupcakes.  Horatio looked at the '6 girl symbol, 2 boy symbol' listings on the cupcakes then at him.  "Caesar's a girl.  Xander found out."

"Wonderful," he said, slowly shaking his head.  "Anything else happen yet?"

"Two things.  Ray was momentarily taken to be looked over.  He was told he was too young but the harem was raising him well."  Yelina choked at that.  "Secondly, Ray has an idea what he wants but it's a bad school."

"My son was what?" she demanded.

"One of the ones who want Xander," Speed reminded her.  "According to them, those he gathers around himself as family, friends, and helpers are considered his harem.  They told Ray he was too young but being raised right."

"What's old enough?"

"Sixteen," Lindsey called as she walked past the door.

"She's apparently run into that issue," Horatio noted blandly. "They're talking about school things now?"

"Yup.  I heard Xander suggest they try to log onto your computer."

"I left it on with the school board's page up."  He ate a bite of cupcake and smiled.  "Well, we're grandparents."

"Xander looked at me and called me Daddy."  Horatio moaned at that, shaking his head.

"He'd have less problems if he was," she said.  "Is he fine?"

"He's fine.  They were laughing about it."  She rolled her eyes.  "He's safe and protected as part of the family until then, Yelina. It'll be fine."

"Have you noticed most of the demons are gay?" Horatio asked.

"I had.  I was wondering if it was a true representative sample."  He shrugged and took his own cupcake, heading out to check on results for his case.  Valera pouted at him.  "Xander only bought us two since we have baby ferrets."

"No, he can't have any," Danny yelled from up the hall. "Four are more than enough."  He walked out holding onto one of them.  "Snuck into my case somehow."  He walked off, waving it at Horatio, who only nodded.  Danny drove home with one hand on the furry menace, walking him into the house and to the cage, putting him inside.  He looked down at the pouting dragon.  "Quit letting them into the work stuff.  They can't got to the office and neither can you."  He walked off after grabbing something for lunch, eating it on the way back.  Then he went to clean and sterilize his kit again.  He considered it before going back to DNA.  "One of the furry things escaped and was in my kit.  Fair warning."  She opened her desk drawer she kept her snacks in, then at him, nodding.  "Crumbs?"

"Yup.  We'll find it, Danny."

"Thanks.  I've yelled at the dragon to keep them in there."  He walked off, feeling a bit surreal at the moment. The very fact he could honestly utter the phrase 'Xander's dragon likes to play with his ferrets' bothered him.  Then again, he knew the root cause of the issue.  Don Flack.  He had taken Xander in and introduced him.   He had a semi-normal life before this, well as normal as a sword-wielding immortal could have.  That decided him.  Next life, Ryan got Don and his pets, including his pet Xander.

***

Ray looked up when his uncles got home.  "When do I learn to pout like Xander?"

"I hope never," Horatio admitted. "Why?"

"Because today he used it to keep his head. That's a pretty neat power."  They stared at him.  "What?"

"He took a challenge in front of you?" Speed demanded.

"No.  We went to pick up stuff that wasn't chocolate like the email asked of us.  Xander barely knew he was there and gave me a shove to get me inside when the guy had him pinned from behind.  He pounced very well and pinned him.  He raised his sword and Xander pouted back at him, getting free of him and making him go away.  He told him to meet him tonight."

"Crap," Speed muttered, calling Eric.  "We have a pouncing immortal in town?"  He listened.  "Yeah, one pinned Xander at the grocery store in front of Ray Junior, Eric.  What did he look like?"

"Xander asked him his name once he had him stunned.  He said it was Holden?"

"Holden, Eric.  He issued a challenge for tonight.  I don't know. Where, Ray?"

"Park, canal.  Usual spot."  He went back to reading.  "I still want to learn how to pout."

"That's a higher level skill, Ray.  You have other means available," Horatio assured him with a pat to the head.  "Did you find anything you liked?"

"I did and there's a list of three possibles on your desk. I figured you'd want to eat first."  Horatio smiled at him.  "Xander put the casserole in the oven, all you have to do is turn it on and make sure no flies got in there."

"Thank you."  He went to check, shooing out the one fly that was in the kitchen by trying to kill it.  He checked the oven, smiling at the nice looking casserole, then followed the directions written on the stove with a dry erase marker.  Speed came in.  "Is Eric going to supervise?"

"Yup, and take his head if he takes Xander's.  Could that make Eric a lower level GHS?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I don't know how it affects the person taking in the soul."  They shared a look. "Not much difference."

"No, not really," he agreed.   He looked at the casserole then at the directions, smiling.  "We can do that.  Ray, go get your list and whatever you have on them.  Your mom's on her way over."

"Sure."  He brought it into the kitchen with the printouts from the schools.  "They're all more project or vocationally centered but I like things like that."

"As do most of us," Horatio agreed. "Did you talk about future plans as well?"

"He got me onto Miami University's site to look at the various majors.  That let me take out two of the ones that need tests to get into.  They're both math and science intensive and I like science, but normal levels are fine for me."  Horatio smiled at that. "They are."

"I felt the same way at your age. I also helped your father with his science homework all too often."  Ray grinned at that.  Speed went to let in whoever was knocking.  "What do you like about these?"

"I like how they're structured.  They sound good to me.  I'll gladly look at them, see if they're as good as they sound.  One's nearer to the house too.  Less commute in the morning and it's on the way to work for Mom.  One other's only a block out of the way.  The other's got a special bus."

"Which is thoughtful and a good reason," Horatio agreed.  "Anything else?"

"They're cheaper, I don't have to see another nun, and the kids who decided I'm either going to be a gangster or a goody-goody, their words, due to yours and mom's job won't be there.  I won't get my ass kicked in the library again because I can't possibly like normal things like them."  He hopped up to sit on the counter when Speed walked Xander in.  "Pouted at him again?"

"No, the officer who brought him here saw him being attacked and arrested the other guy."  He made Xander sit down.  "He said no one was home over there and he didn't want him to be attacked again."  He looked at Xander.

"I thought we were out of plain sight," Xander defended.  "He's the one who pounced with a battle shriek like Xena."  Ray giggled. "Didn't he?"

"He did, I wanted to ask him if he was Annie reincarnated."  Horatio smirked at that reference, letting out a small laugh.

"I called Danny, he'll swing by to pick him up.  Eric said he'd handle that guy.  Protect Ray better, Xander."

"I was trying to. I got him out of the way."

"He did," Ray agreed.  "It's not his fault the guy jumped him in the middle of a supermarket parking lot.  I mean, we weren't even on the *edge* of the parking lot.  We were in clear view of the street, the store, everyone looked at him when he pounced with his yell."

"Then he's an idiot, good to know," Speed said, looking at the list.  "I like the middle one.  I had a missing kid case there a few years back.  Remember that one, Horatio?  The Downer girl?"

"A bit."  He took that sheet to look over.  "What's your first choice, Ray?"

"The list is in order."

"Thank you."  Yelina knocked then walked in.  "Kitchen."  Xander reached over and switched the oven's temperature. "Thank you, Xander."  He looked at her.  "There's an idiot immortal after Xander who tried to pounce him in the parking lot of the grocery store earlier."

"I want to learn that pout.  Maybe it'll help me get out of trouble."

"When you move out, son," she said firmly. She patted Xander on the head.  "I heard someone had attacked you.  The officer said you nearly fell into the canal."

"No, I bent backwards and was doing to drag him with me and toss him in.  Using his momentum against him."  He looked up at her.  "I got Ray out of the way when I felt him, Yelina."

"I know you did, Xander.  Earlier?"

"I was getting ferret supplies.  Come see?"  He grinned and took them into the cage, and the new addition to it, letting them look inside the furry cube.  "Did you eat one?"  He pulled the cube out so Horatio and Speed could pet the mommy ferret and count babies.

"Aww.  They're like little worms with feet," Speed said with a grin.

Ray looked at his mother and shrugged.  "I'm having vicarious relative feelings. I don't like kids."  She smiled at that.  "We made a list."  He handed it over.   "In order of preference."

She looked it over.  "Did you find anything about them?"  He got the sheets and handed them over. "This middle one is close to the house."

"Yes, but the top one was doing things that I was interested in.  That one was great but the project list they had up didn't float me the same way.  The third is a good general school."

"We'll call them tomorrow. I took it off so we could go look."  She looked at her son.  "You could have mentioned the problems."

"I did.  You blew it off as 'they're being boys, ignore them'."  He gave her a look.  "Considering the last one pulled a bootknife on me?  No, I'm not.  I told the principal that I wasn't safe and she agreed.  Since it was a choice of carry something and get into trouble or leave, I left."

"It's a reasonable thing but you didn't tell me about that."

"I told you about the other one and you blew it off.  I ended up running into Ryan first and we talked.  I know he arrested the kids for trying to stab me.  Their parents probably weren't amused."

"I wondered why he had done that," Horatio offered.  "I'll have to remind him to tell me those sort of things."

She sighed.  "We had a communication break-down.  It happens.  Now that we do know, we'll be talking about what happened while we look at schools tomorrow."  Her son nodded.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, mom. I expected you to ask.  Remember, asking is the anti-drug."  She rolled her eyes at that stupid slogan.  "Can I have one of the baby ferrets when they're weaned or whatever?"

"We'll see."  He grinned at that.  "Xander?"  He put them back inside, making sure he had them all.  He even took the one from Speed's hand and the momma from Horatio's, letting them back into the cage.  "Thank you.  Babies are fragile.  They can play with them later.  When should the casserole be done?"

He sniffed.  "Any minute now."  Speed went to wash his hands and check.  He grinned.  "Since I got delivered I have to wait for Danny."

"It should be within minutes," Speed offered. "Someone set the table."  Horatio came in to wash his hands and do that.  "Did you notice the habitrail section that our cage sprouted?"

"I had.  Apparently we have magical ferrets as well."

"As long as we don't get our own dragon who likes to pull them out to play with them."

"I don't foresee that being a problem," Horatio admitted. "Xander, don't forget to feed Hubert tonight."

"He ate earlier.  He was crunching up goat when you came over."  Yelina looked at him.  "He eats meat.  He is a dragon.  I got him a hank of goat and he was very appreciative.   Danny knocked so he let himself be taken home with a wave for everyone.  Danny gave him a look.  "I had us out of sight.  He's the one who yipped like Xena."

"I heard.  He's a young idiot."  He drove him home, finding Don staring at the living room.  "Something happen?"

"There's blood but we're not missing anyone," he said, looking at Xander.  "Hubert's hiding."

"I told him to take it outside."

"Ah."  He lifted the skirt on the couch and pulled the dragon out by his tail, holding him up to look at him.  "No more eating in the house, Hubert.  Blood's nasty.  Next time clean it up."  He put him down and pointed.  The dragon licked up the blood then gave him a pitiful look.  "You eat outside unless it's scraps from our plates, like the dogs."  He walked off, going to change.  That's when he realized he was treating the dragon like a human.  This had to be Danny's fault somehow.  He was supposed to keep Xander in check and it was Xander's pet.  Next life, Ryan got the dragon.

The Issues of Being Ray

Ray Junior walked into his favorite buddy's house, pouting some.  "I don't know what I'm doing."

"About what?"

"About a few things."  He flopped down and looked at him.  "No uniforms but my off- school clothes aren't good enough according to the new one.  Mom's frowning about that. Uncle Horatio's too busy with something that Dad's death brought down on him.  That's all I can find out and they're both giving me looks like they're sorry about something.  I don't like being the protected one.  He can tell me these things."

"Your uncle won't say anything until he's certain," Xander pointed out.  "He's like that.  He'll also not tell you anything if it's going to hurt you."  Ray nodded that he knew that.  "So maybe he's just unsure so far."

"I hope so but Mom's looking a bit spooked too."  He shrugged.  "That still leaves me with the other problem."

"We can deal with that part," Xander reminded him.  "What are you allowed to wear?"

"Twill or khaki pants, any color is acceptable.  Anything dressy.  Shirts can be henley style but nothing lesser."

"Then we can fix that."  He stood up.  "I'm bored."

Ray beamed.  "Great!"  He hopped up.  "Need to do anything first?  I've got my ATM card on me so I can afford it.  Mom was saying she would but I know her and I'll end up hating it."

Xander winked.  "We can handle that.  Let me change."  He walked into the bedroom, coming out with his wallet, frowning at it.  "Speaking of ATM's.  Don apparently made a stealth run to the bank again."  He walked out, leading Ray out to his car.  "Come on."  Ray jogged faster to keep up.  He got them in and headed off, making sure to close the gates behind him.  "I've noticed a few things about us.  We always look better and are more comfortable in all natural clothes.  I prefer silk.  You?"

"Not a clue."

"We can see."  He pulled through his bank's ATM, then sighed and parked, going inside.  He came out a few minutes later.  "I'm going to have to search the freezer.  Don always put things in there."

"Could it be the housekeeper?"

"If it is, I'm going to pray that the house falls on this one."  He put the car in reverse and slowly backed out, then headed to the stores he favored for casual clothes.  Ray wasn't going to be a silk boy.  Not like his uncle could be.  This was better for school aged guys anyway.  He walked in and smiled at the saleswoman, snapping his fingers.  Ray handed over the dress code.  "He needs to fit within this, and natural fabrics please."

"Let's see what we can find."  She led them around the store, finding pants first.  Ray ended up liking the twill, they were closer to jeans, but Xander made him get a few pairs of dress pants as well. Cotton and linen, but dress pants.  They looked at the various styles of shirts, Xander handing over a few Egyptian cotton button ups.  Then a few others he thought the kid might like.  Ray gave him an odd look.  Xander stared back.  So he sighed and went to try it on.  She smiled at Xander.  "You're his big brother?"

"Kinda.  Trouble buddy, confidant.  Gay male fashion advisor."  She giggled at that.  "Ray?"  He came out in a pair of the twill pants, turning to look at himself.  "Those are nice.  How do they feel?"

"A bit scratchy, like new jeans."

"Those are probably as close to jeans as you'll be allowed to get," she admitted, coming over.  "I like them on you and they've always been comfortable to me."

"It is."  He looked at his butt again.  "Can I have some that look like jeans?"

"Make them look like khakis," Xander offered.  "That way you keep out of trouble."  Ray nodded and went to try those on, coming out.  "I like those better."  Ray nodded after looking at himself.  "Understated but showing that you're more adult than your mother likes to think.  Try on another shirt with it though."  Ray went back in there and came out with a jade colored shirt.  With the midnight blue pants.  "Okay, I'm occasionally accused of being fashion blind, but that's bad."  Ray giggled and looked at the shirt.  "Comfy?"  Ray shrugged.  "Try on the other ones."  He went in and came out in a black linen one and Xander smiled, moving closer.  "That glow is when you find your fabric," he said quietly.  "Try on the Egyptian cotton, it's close to that."  Ray went to change clothes and the same glow happened.  "Good.  Now we know."  Ray beamed.  "Go weed things out and get what you want.  Then we'll hit the other spot."  Ray went in there and came out with the pants he liked and the shirts in all the colors.  Xander beamed and paid, then walked Ray down the strip mall.  Into the record store.  That got a giggle and they went to shop for Xander's car.  Then they went to the other spot.  Xander nodded and Ray wore one outfit out, making him smile.  He even let the kid pay for that one.  He drove him to the station, making the guard stare.  "His mom in?" Xander asked as he escorted him.

"At her desk, Xander."

"Cool."  He got them signed in and into the elevator, taking him up there.  Xander walked out first and smiled at Ryan.  "Yelina?"  She looked over and her son walked off the elevator, making her blink.  "He said he needed to go, he paid for half."

"Well."  She looked at him.  Then she smiled. "You look very smart.  Those will fit?"

"The pants are twill, the shirt's linen."  He let her feel.  "They're comfortable!  More than my jeans."

"We all have a fabric we appreciate more than others," Xander agreed. "Everyone does.  He seems to like Egyptian cotton, linen, and some twill."  He shrugged and grinned. "Plus he helped me pick out some new music."

Yelina hugged him.  "How much did you spend?"

"Not that much.  There was a sale at the second place.  The first I mostly got some shirts and a few pairs of pants.  And they all fit," he said lightly.  She smiled at that.  "Speed!"  He looked over and smiled, then walked over.  "New school clothes.  How do I look?"

"You look sharp, kid."  He felt the shirt.  "Linen?"

"Yup, and twill pants.  These two and Egyptian cotton."

"Kinda expensive tastes but it looks good at you."  He ruffled his hair.  "Now you have to do something about the mop."

"Yeah, I kinda do," he admitted.  "I'd look bad with hair like Xander's."  His mother nodded.  "I'll do that on the way home."  He hugged his mother then Speed.  "Tell Uncle Horatio?"

He took a picture with his phone and sent it to his mate, getting a smiley face back.  "He's with Calleigh on a scene.  Apparently she's got his phone."  A new text message came in and he laughed.  "He said you look very good and like a true Caine, finally.  He thought before you were going to follow me into grunge."  Ray shuddered and shook his head.  "Good kid.  Now, hog your mom then go get a haircut."  He smiled and walked off, tugging on Don's arm.  "Come on."

"Coming.  What do I get today?"

"A spanking for giving me a case without very much evidence.  A fingernail and a cigarette butt isn't enough but I'm trying."

"Sure."  He followed with a grin for Xander and a wink.  "Good work, Xan."

"Thanks."  He grinned at Yelina.  "He spent more than I did, mom."

"I don't believe you."

"I did by about twenty dollars," Ray admitted.  "I've even got the receipts in the bags in his trunk."  She handed over her keys and he grinned, going down to switch them over with Xander's help.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  I'll even drive you to get a haircut if you need me to."

"No, I think I'll lounge and make Mom happier."  He dug out the receipts and hugged him.  "Thanks, Xander."

"Welcome."  He walked off, going back to his car.  It was a small blip in his otherwise boring day.  He decided to go grocery shopping, at least it'd keep him out of the house for another hour.  Then maybe he'd get his hair trimmed.  He was starting to get some split ends.  He headed off, deciding to do that in reverse order.  Haircut then grocery shopping.

***

Horatio smiled at his nephew when he ran into him outside the station a few hours later.  "You look very smart, Ray."  He flicked off some hair from his haircut.  "Xander helped you do a good job."

"Do we all have that fabric that we glow in?"

"We do.  Xander's is silk.  Mine's a mixed blend.  Yours appears to be linen?"

"And Egyptian cotton.  The twill pants are really comfortable too."

"Good."  He smiled. "They're also nearly as sturdy as jeans."  He patted him on the cheek, then looked at his hair.  "Better."

"Thank you.  I knew it was a mop."

"It was."  He walked him back inside.  "So, tonight?"

"Mom was impressed that I only spent two hundred on my half of the shopping. Then she called the bank to see what my savings account balance was."  Horatio laughed.  "Yeah, so she's mad that Xander added more than even that Visa giftcard."  He looked at him.  "He did.  I don't know how he did, but he did. Or someone did.  I had an extra four thousand in there."  He shrugged.  "I talked to the bank too, they said it was an electronic transfer so I'm assuming it was Xander."

"Perhaps not."

"A stalker?"

"Probably not.  You're still a bit too young for that."  He led him to his office, letting him inside then going to sit.  "What else happened?"

"There was someone watching us today and I'm not sure who.  I know he's outside again too."

"What did he look like?"

"African-American.  Bald.  Thin.  Looked like a federal suit sort."  He shrugged.  "Then again, I'm still a bit upset that you feel the need to protect me from something stupid father did again."

"It wasn't so much an again and I'm still searching to see what the truth is, Ray."

"I was hoping it was that and not that you're trying to protect me. I know what dad did, Uncle H.  The same as I know how he died.  The kids at school made sure of it," he said honestly, staring at him.  Horatio cracked a smile at that.  "Not my favorite way to find out."

"You look so much like your father when you give me that look."

"Thanks, I think."  He shifted.  "Was it something else about his drug use or the case?  Someone like another half-sister?"

"No, definitely not, but it is related to the case.  Like I said, I'm still searching, Ray."

"Will you actually tell me?"

"Limited things.  You're still very young and there are still things that could hurt you about that situation."

"Yes, but I'd rather hear it from you instead of Mom or some of the other kids at school."

"Good point."  He nodded.  "I can understand that.  When I know something definitive, I'll tell you what I can if it's going to impact you, all right?"

"That's reasonable but I would like to know the whole truth some day."

"So would I," he admitted.  Ray nodded at that fact.  "Was there anything else?"

"No, not at the moment.  We've chosen a school.  The dress code is different and I'll be fine in this.  The haircut went okay.  The guy was there when we went into the second store and then when I went to get the haircut.  I almost called someone to pick me up but I went for a cab instead."  Horatio nodded at that.  "Do we like my hair like this?  He said it was hip and stylin'."

"You do look very good in it.  It'll also allow you to go messier for teenage things or neater for family things."  Ray smiled at that.  "I do like it but you're going to need to buy gel probably."

"Already got some.  Got it off the hairdresser."  That got a small grin.  "Speaking of trims."

"I know.  I'm going later tonight."  Ray nodded at that.  "Did you want to come over tonight?"

"I don't know.  Mom's nagging about the money that got transferred.  She thought at first it was a stalker and I didn't even tell her about the guy following me."

"He sounds like an agent I know, Ray.   I'll dig into that tonight.  Don't spend more than you already had."

"I haven't.  I barely spent two hundred on my part of the clothes and I spent twenty more than Xander did on me because I couldn't decide between two shirts."  He laughed.  "I know.  They're comfortable though and I feel good in them."

"Feeling good in your clothes does lead to more confidence," he agreed.  "Now, are you going to have problems in this new school?"

"Probably not. A few other officer's kids go there and they said they didn't have any problems.  One switched because he had the same problems I did."  He looked over as someone came to the door then looked at his uncle again.  "Need me to go?"

"For a few minutes, yes.  And no eavesdropping this time, Raymond."

"Yes, Uncle Horatio."  He got up and headed out.  "I'll head to Grandmas.  You can tell me later?"  Horatio nodded.  "Thanks.  Remind mom the clothes are in her trunk."  He walked out, nodding politely at the suit.  "Be less obvious, dude.  I spotted you twice."   He smiled when he ran into Frank.

"Wow, look at you."

"New school's dress code.  Twill or khakis and better shirts.  I like this though.  It's comfy."

"You look good.  Horatio busy?"

"He's got a suit in there."

"Hmm, then maybe I'll wait until he's calmed down from that."  Ray smiled and walked off, heading for his grandmother's house.  Frank went back to his desk.  He paged Horatio with the information but didn't get an answer back.  So he'd find him later. When he was calm again.  He saw Horatio go stomping off and figured it was now a very bad time.  So he'd get to him tomorrow.  Hopefully.  If not, he'd talk to Speed and it'd be okay so he could make his arrest.  Once he checked some facts the lab was working on.

***

Horatio got his nephew out of harm's way and looked at his brother.  "Raymond."

"He's exactly like you," he said grimly. "Isn't he?"  Horatio nodded.  "He broken in yet?"

"Not yet.  He's agreed to wait until it'll be easier on him."  He moved closer.  "Why are you here?"

"I'm done.  I want my family back."

Horatio nodded at that.  "We'll handle it, Ray.  He is very smart.  He saw the agent watching him earlier."

"Yeah, I was there.  Who's the other guy?  Who, by the way, very gay."

"Xander.  He's another GHS member that I mentor.  His boyfriend is in the lab."

"Ah. I heard rumors about him in DC," he said quietly.  Horatio looked stunned.  "Bad ones at that."

"Why?"

"Not a clue.  They wouldn't tell me."  He shifted closer.  "Where is he?"

"Preliminary tests say four."

"So well able to still function.  He did a good job dressing my boy."

"That's for his new school."

Ray looked at him.  "Can we find a way to talk to my wife?"

"Yes, as soon as this is all settled.  I don't want Ray Junior in danger again."

"Of course not.  I don't want him in danger either."  He shifted some.  "So, um, I stopped by to see..."

"Madison's doing better.  Yes, she knows.  I'd expect to be beaten."

"Sure.  I get that.  I screwed up."

"You have no idea the depth of this screw up."  His brother stared at him.  "Are we clear?"

"We're clear.  Thank you for watching them for me."

"You're welcome.  Now go away."  He nodded and Horatio went to the hummer, finding his nephew watching around.  "Are you all right?"

"Now."  He licked his lips and looked inside then at his uncle.  "That was dad."

"I know that, Ray.  Right now, we're handling things.  Before you ask, I only had hints."  He put the hummer in gear and drove off.  "This is going to be hard."

"I'm not going to be the one to tell mom."

"Good.  I was going to suggest we leave that off until we know what sort of danger he's bringing to your door."

"Um, gee, wonder," he said dryly.  His uncle glared at him. "Sorry, but truth!  Does he know about Madison?"

"Yes."  He turned a corner and parked, looking t his nephew.  "Go inside.  Stay calm.  Let me handle this.  If things get too messy, we'll make sure you'll be all right."  Ray nodded and headed inside.  Horatio watched until he was inside the house then took off for home.  He found Speed waiting on him.  "Not tonight."

"Why?  What happened?"

"Ray's alive."

"I'm hoping we're talking the nephew."  Horatio stared at his husband. "Oh, shit."

"Basically."  He went into the kitchen and came out with a beer.  "I shouldn't."

"One's not going to matter.  You can't have more.  How messy is this?"

"Very.  We need to bring down the ones who're going after him."  He popped it open and took a sip.

Speed stopped him from pacing.  "Even if we do, will our nephew be safe?" he asked gently.  Horatio shook his head.  "Then manage that end, Horatio.  We'll see them again.  As long as they're safe we'll still be a family."

Horatio took another drink.  "I'd like to think I can make it safe."

"I'd like that too but I'm doubting it."

"Maybe that other space in Xander's?"

"Maybe.  That's an idea.  Or somewhere safer."  He stroked his cheek. "Let me help?"

"I can't.  They could easily come after you."

"They won't come after me and I'm better protected because I'm not the one who makes myself a target now and then."  Horatio nodded, sitting down and letting himself be comforted.  "We'll deal, Horatio.  We always have."

"I know."  He handed him the beer, letting him put it aside, and let it all go for a while, letting his husband handle the thinking while he thought about his family.  This was not going to be a happy week for him by any definition. "He looked so grown up."

"He did.  Xander did a good job helping him find his style."  He stroked over his mate's hair.  "We'll handle it, Horatio.  You know we will."

"I know.  I'm not sure how."

"If worst comes to worst, we send them to her home."

He looked up.  "No."

"It'd be safer."

"I'd almost rather send them through that closet in Xander's."  Speed smiled at that.  "I would."

"I know you would. Ray Junior would go insane without pretty girls to stare at."

"He would," Horatio agreed. "He has a fine eye as well."   He looked up.  "He said he'd heard of Xander."

"Maybe the drug connections he had ran in the same circles."

"He mentioned DC," he said quietly.

"Still a chance."  He stroked over his hair.  "Does our nephew know what was going on?"

"He saw him," he said quietly, then let out a bitter laugh.  "Earlier he protested he should be told things if they were going to come out about his father so he didn't have to hear from another source."

"He's at the age where we should start hearing choruses of 'I'm not a baby, quit treating me like one'.  That used to be my favorite thing at that age."  He went back to soothing him.  "He just proved he's right on schedule."

"He is.  I told him I'd tell him what I could."

"That's still going to be a loud fight when they first see each other again."

"I'm predicting Ray will hit him."

"Probably.  Now and then he's got his momma's temper.   Nothing's more fiery than her."  He smiled and Horatio smiled at that.  "So, we'll handle it."  Horatio nodded.  "For now, should we get them there?"

"No.  Not yet. But I do need to talk to Xander I think."

"We should."

"No, I should."

"We, Horatio."

"How do we explain that you know?"

"You're my husband.  What you know I know.  Even the idiots bothering you know that."  Horatio nodded and relaxed some.  "Tonight?"

"No.  Not yet.  I need to head back to the office."

"We can do it from here."

"They could have it tapped. I can go work from Ryan's desk and see if I can find anything else."

"Let's talk to Xander first, Horatio.  Maybe he could help."

"Maybe," he agreed quietly.  He wasn't so sure though.  They got up and headed over there, knowing what they were doing now.  Horatio was already making emergency plans and figuring out how to do what needed to be done, including letting his family go.  It'd never be safe enough in Miami for them.  They pulled into the house's driveway and up it, finding the guys out back on the picnic tables.  "Xander?" Horatio called.  Xander looked over and waved. "Can we speak?"

"Sure."  He walked them inside.  "A new stalker?  Or Ray's?"

"Related to Ray's."  He led him away from Speed, getting an odd look.  "I'll tell him later.  My brother's alive."  Xander hugged him and he relaxed.  "I'll deal."

"You won't deal.  You'll sulk and do dangerous things to ease the pain."  He pulled back.  "Like I heard you did when Speed got hurt."  Horatio nodded at that, sucking a breath.  "What did you need me to do?  Let them into the other realm?  Hide Ray Junior?  Tell me and I can do that."

"I'm still seeing if that's necessary.  First, information came to me through him that some people in DC know you?"

Xander moaned and led him into the practice room, shutting them inside.  "This does not get out of this room."  Horatio nodded, moving closer.  Xander started to pace. "You know about Sunnydale stuff, right?"  He nodded.  "My last year there, we had a paramilitary operation.  Covert ops.  They were called the Initiative.  They were trying to figure out demons so they could make some work for them."  Horatio stared.  "They got Oz for a while.  They were working to break the group up.  Not that hard," he admitted bitterly.

"You took them down?"

"Not alone.  I was there.  I left about a week after they were gone."

"All right."  He considered it.  "How?"

"Buffy was knowingly dating one.  He hid it but then things happened and she found out.  She kinda almost joined with them. Then Oz got taken and we went in to get him.  We found out some things, including that they were making a hybrid super demon warrior.  That they were chipping their own soldiers.  Little things like that.  We had to stop the super demon.  It went magical.  I helped with that and Buffy defeated it after we hyped her."

"I see."  He looked at him, noticing now nervous he was.  "You don't want them to know?"

"Don knows.  Mac found out and told him.  There was a time when the military wanted to erase that shame by erasing me and them.  We're pretty sure that's why they got Stella the day she was using my SUV."  Horatio nodded slowly at that.  "Mac admitted they tried to call him back into play to assassinate me since he had been a sniper."

"I'll talk with him first then."

"Should I hide this from them?"

"Please," he agreed.  "It might be necessary to hide them there for a few days until I can arrange to get them out of town."

"If you do, Horatio, don't hesitate to come to me if you can't vent on Speed.  Sometimes he'd comfort when you want to rant."  Horatio nodded at that wisdom. "But the other area is yours to use if you need it."

"Thank you."  He gave him a hug.  "I'll talk with Mac about that, make sure there's no more danger."

"There shouldn't be.  After they beat up Stella someone higher stepped in and stomped them."

"Good. Then I won't worry."  He smiled and walked out, taking Speed off, back to the office.  With Mac at his new lab, he had the privacy they needed to search and figure out what was going on.  Speed looked at him.  "Sunnydale.  I need you to talk to Mac about the Initiative and brief me."

"Sure, I can do that.  Is it important?  Something that could get him hurt?"

"He says no.  I want Mac's opinion."

"Sure."  He went to find him, paging him to meet him for dinner.  He was hungry anyway.  Mac met him at the small outdoor food stand, taking it into the park where they could tell if they're being watched.  "Something semi-personal's come up recently," he said quietly.

"I heard Horatio had to save his nephew thanks to his brother's former caseload."  He ate a bite.  "He back?"

"Ray Junior's fine."

"Not the one I was talking about."

"We're handling it."  Mac nodded at that.  "He hinted that some people up there already knew Xander."

Mac put down his food and took a drink of his milkshake, then put it down and shifted closer.  "They do.  They're not very happy that four teenagers and a librarian took down a covert ops group.  Especially not one that started out NID then moved to the Pentagon and NSA. Late last year they were convinced not to try him again, but I'm not sure if they're watching him or not."

"Horatio wanted to know.  He and Xander had a short chat and he told me to come get it from you and then brief him."

"Xander probably told him. He didn't tell me because he was worried I'd think he was anti-military.  The first I heard, they were asking me to snipe him.  I got it from one of my sources and I laughed at the person who asked me to kill him."

"Do we have any idea if this is an on-going thing?"

"Supposedly not.  Probably yes.  Will they act?  I'm not sure."

"Should we worry?  Especially with everything else going on."

"No.  They want Xander gone so they can erase that shame.  Or they want to study him and the others.  With the other three being in another dimension at the moment, he's all that's left."

"He's pretty safe."

"Not from a sniper attack.  There's plenty of ways to get someone if you want to."

"I know.  But he's still relatively safe."

"Relative being the term to watch," he warned.  "I've got feelers out to people who would hear if something was planned.  They're supposed to call me."

"But if they can't, we'll handle it.  Would they go to permanently eliminate him?"

"Probably not."  He smiled. "Most of the modern military isn't into swords."  He took another drink of his treat.  "Do you guys need help?"

"He might need a contact consulted, we're not sure yet.   We know Ray Junior's aware of what got his father killed and he's protesting he's not helpless and a child."

"That's a dangerous age."

"It is, but he's also got some sense.  He's not going to his mother with this stuff thankfully."

Mac nodded.  "Have him call me if you guys need me.  Or you.  I know very well that what Horatio knows you know."  Speed nodded.  "Just let me know."

"We will, Mac, and thanks."

"Welcome.  Then again, Xander once gave me a full set of cassettes on what happened in Sunnydale, all but that one.  I had nightmares.  He's not the froofy little boy he seems to be.  Anymore only Ryan probably ever sees it, but he's not."

"Ryan said he was very good with his sword."

"He is."  He smiled and got up, taking his lunch off.  "Let me know."

"Can do.  Can we have those tapes?"

"Sure.  Don's got 'em.  I'll get them back and hand them over."  He shot a grin at him and headed for his car.

Speed went back to the office, finding the annoyance in there.  "Rick, you mind?  I need a few with him."

"I do. This is work not your house."

"This is about work things."  Stetler gave him a long, hard, cold look.  "Really."  He leaned down to whisper in his mate's ear, getting nods.  "He said he might have a contact," he said finally.  "If we can't do it another way."

"I'll keep that in mind.  Thank you."

"Welcome."  He smiled.  "We okay?"

"Not particularly.  I'm not happy."

"I'm not happy," he assured him. "Want dinner?"

"Please."  Speed handed over the rest of his and went down to the lab to do what he could so Horatio could concentrate on the issue with his family.

Horatio looked at Rick.  "The bank was talked to and they're working on where the extra money came from, Rick.  We're figuring that out now and I reminded him not to spend it."

"Where did the rest come from?  I doubt he's getting a hundred dollar a month allowance."

"Xander gave him a gift card a few months back."

"Oh.  Yelina didn't protest?"

"She didn't know.  He told her it was only a hundred dollars.

"Then he's got control of his statement and she didn't check."

"Speed made him take that and put it into something that had a bit of better control.  We watch over it with him.  That way his mother won't find out and scream."

"How much was that one?"

"Five thousand."  Rick looked amused. "It was after that trip to stop the illegal immigrant ring."

"Ah, the gambling trip," he said dryly.  "You won how much?"

"I don't remember right off the top of my head but I did claim it with the IRS," he said flatly.  "Anything else?"

"Is the kid in trouble?"

"Why would he be?"

"He suddenly switched schools after a long absence.  That sounds like he got kicked out."

"No, he left after one student threatened to stab him.  We were a bit slow to react but Xander was watching him for us."

"I see.  Then he's a decent role model?"

"He's a very good role model and he spoils Ray horribly.  He's trying to turn him into Ryan if you must know."  He gave him a look.  "I'm busy."

"Fine.  I'll go. I won't tell her since so far he's gotten away with it."

"I doubt it would matter at this late date, Rick.  There's more important things going on now.  Thank you though."  He walked off, knowing he had blackmail material now.  Horatio shook his head and got back to what he needed to do.

***

Xander looked up as the sound of running footsteps came nearer to where he was working out, frowning at the man chasing someone down.  Huh.  He looked familiar.  He tripped the running person, getting a nod.  "Hey.  Why are you two at my house?"

"He's your back neighbor."

"He's in deep trouble if he climbed my fence."  He used his sword to tip the guy's face up.  "Hi.  Are you the neighbor I was warned out?"   The man started to splutter.  "You sound like a cranky engine.  Get off my lawn."  He stood up.  "Thank you.  Now, you are?"  Ray opened his mouth.  "You look like someone I know.  I know you.  I'm asking this one."

"He is a drug dealer," Ray said.  "He set me up."

"Ah.  Hubert?"  The dragon came out.  "Come eat this idiot. It's about time you learned how to hunt, dear."  The dragon gave him a dirty look and a snort but he came over to sniff him.  The man started to shriek and dance around.  "You're annoying me," Xander said coldly.  The man backed away.  He started to run again.  "Spot!  Attack!"  Both dalmatians ran out and pounced the running guy, making him scream even louder.  "I'd fix his vocal issues before the neighborhood patrol gets here."  He walked back inside.  "Good boys!  Hold.  Daddy will get you two treats out the ass for being so helpful."

Ray stared after him, then shook his head. This guy was definitely one of a kind.  Probably a good thing.  He cuffed him and called his brother.  "I've got him.  Thanks, dogs."  He heard Horatio laugh and cleared his throat, imitating him.  "Sit, good boys."  They stared at him and growled.  "Um, Xander?" he called.

"Thank you, boys.  Good boys!  Come get a treat!"  They ran back into the house, all puppy tails and happy barks.  "Good boys!"  He sat down to pet them while they nibbled then picked up the tennis ball, tossing it outside.  They ran to get it and brought it back, making him play with them.  "Sure, we'll play."  He tossed it again and they fought on the way back but it came back.  He laughed and tossed two balls.  That made them bounce and play a lot.  He tossed them out, they both followed the first one so he sent the second one further out.  One of them broke to get it. They came rushing back, scratching the floor with their claws, but he knew how to sand. He did it again, and they came back in with Ray this time.  "Don't bury him on my lawn."

"I'm not.  Horatio's coming to get him.  I did hook him to your spigot outside."

"That's fine.  As long as he doesn't break it."  He tossed the balls again and Ray sat down, watching him play with his boys. "Good boys," he cooed, petting them both.  "See if Ray's daddy will play with you."  He tossed the tennis balls over and he sent them outside, getting happy dogs with him too.  "Thanks. Arms were getting tired."

"I noticed the sword."

"It's how I stay in shape."

"I saw that as well."  They came back so he petted them and did it again.  "You and my son are...."

"Friends.  I help him when he's got problems he doesn't want to go to Horatio for."  He heard a car.  "That's someone."  He looked outside.  "That's not someone I know.  Huh.  See the blue door, take the dogs and play over there."  He nodded, taking them across the boundary to play there.  He heard the muttered 'huh' as he closed the door, walking out.  "Yes?   You needed something?"

"I'm with the lawn service, sir."  He came over to check the lawn, then the plants inside the house.  Xander caught him in his bedroom.  "They told us to take our checks directly."

"No, I'm quite sure my cop boyfriend did not," he said, taking his wallet from him.  The man gave him a heated glare.  "I know damn well my detective boyfriend didn't.  So let's cut the shit."  The man lunged and he backhanded him, then got his cuffs out of the drawer and cuffed him.   He called the nice emergency number.  "Come get this fucking moron who just walked boldly into my house and grabbed my wallet before I chop off his head."  He nodded.  "10 Grove Way.  Thank you.  Impatiently.  No, I'll gladly drag his ass outside for him.  Thanks."  He hung up and grabbed the guy, dragging him outside. He dumped him in the grass and got his sword to sharpen.   An officer buzzed and was let in by neighborhood patrol, earning a nod. "Have you seen him before?"

"He was here two, three days ago.  Said he's with the lawn service, Mr. Harris."

"Yeah, that's what he told me and then said the owner told him to take their checks directly out of my wallet.  Grabbed it from my bedroom!"  He looked at him. "I'm so going to be checking with my bank. You'd better hope my missing ATM card isn't in your possession as well."  The officer smiled.  "Can you check his wallet for me? If so I'm pressing charges on another occasion."

"Of course."  He pulled out his wallet and found two.  "One black stripped Mastercard and purple lighting card, Mr. Harris."

"The purple one is my ATM.  The other's my old emergency card."  That got a nod.  "So yeah, there's been at least two times he's been here.  I have no idea who in the hell this man is.  Our lawn service is paid automatically every month directly from the bank.  And get this, he walked into the house and right into my bedroom, like *he* owned the place.  Then tried to take the wallet from me when I took it."  The officers looked amused.  "So if you can book him on stupidity and boldness, he should have those too."

"We'll see what we can do, sir."

"Um, Mr. Harris, I noticed the person on the front lawn?"

"No, he's waiting on Lieutenant Caine to personally come pick him up.  The dogs helped me bring him down.  They're still very well trained," he said proudly.

"Um, sir, you know the lab?" one of the officers, the female one, asked.

He nodded. "I'm dating Messer."

"Oh!  You're *him*!" she said.  He nodded.  "That's fine.  We can bring him to the Lieutenant if you want."

"I'm not sure if he'd want that."  He considered it and went inside to get the phone.  "Horatio, the guy here attached to my spigot, did you want him there? I had to have someone arrest the guy who boldly walked in and grabbed my wallet like it belonged to him and they're offering."  He walked the phone outside.  "It's him."

"Sir.  Flanders, sir.  Yes, sir.  No, sir, let me check him."  He walked that way.  "Looks healthy enough.  Bit scared and panting for some reason.  Attached to the spigot with regulation cuffs.  No, the other guy was cuffed too, sir."

"Don's spares."

"Mr. Harris said they were someone named Don's spare cuffs?"  She just nodded at that. "No, it's a good idea if you have people you can let live with you for the protection, sir.  Yeah, I can bring him."  He looked over.  "He wants to know where his nephew is."

"Playing with the dogs in the orchard.  The other's where he should be."

"He said playing with the dogs in the orchard and the other's where he should be."  She nodded.  "Thank you, Lieutenant.  Gotta head that way anyway, sir.  Thanks."  She hung up and handed the phone back, pulling out her keys.  "We'll make sure the cuffs get back to Detective Flack, sir.  Thank you for the help.  Is he training your dogs?"

Xander beamed.  "No, I took them to obedience and training classes.  They were also training to be therapy dogs before I got a bit sick."  She nodded and hauled the guy up, recuffing him and walking him off.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, sir.  Anyone else we should know about who might've come in here to take things?"

"I have a housekeeper.  I hope she's not part of that but I know I had about ten grand in the house and it's not there.  You might ask Detective Flack.  He's got a nasty habit of taking stuff to the bank on me."

"Sure, sir. Thanks."  She put him in the back of the car and got the other one as well, smiling at her partner.  "We're dropping the other one off with Caine at his scene."

"Sure.  Sometimes you've got to have murderers on the scene of the crime I guess."

"I think it was drugs, but I'm not sure," Xander admitted.  "You two have a nice day, officers."  They smiled and got in.  He grinned at the neighborhood watch people.  "Has my housekeeper been part of that?"

"We're not sure but I know her so I'll send her that name so she can follow up."

"Thanks, guys.  Have you seen my trees yet?"

"Later today, sir.  They had a hold-up on a few of them but they warned us they'd be bringing heavy trucks in today."  Xander nodded.  "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, my dogs brought down the first guy."  That got a smile and they left too.  He walked back to the closet door and leaned in. "You can come back now, it's clear."  Then he went to grab his sword and go back to practice.  He needed to stay in practice and he didn't want to do it around the workmen later.

Ray and the dogs came back, looking at what he was doing.  Then he shook his head.  He didn't want to know why he was playing with a sword like that.  He called his brother.  "Did the cops he called get him?"  He smiled.  "That's fine.  No, I'm here. Sure, I can hide here for a few more hours if he'll let me.  It's a nice house.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Horatio wants me to hang here, kid, you mind?"

"No.  Make some lemonade and some ice water for the guys coming to plant trees for me."

"Um, sure."  He went to find pitchers and the lemonade mix, smiling at it since it was out.  The pitchers were found easily enough and so was a wooden spoon.  He got to work making two each.  If the guys didn't need both, the family could drink it.  He knew his son used to like lemonade a lot.  He put them in the fridge, smiling at the chocolate in there.  Yeah, this guy was someone like his brother too.  Horatio always had chocolate around the house too.  He heard the gates buzz and went to look, then hit the enter key.  "They're here."

"That's fine. They won't come in," Xander said, coming in with his sword.  The trucks parked down by the gate and the guys got out, heading with the digger first.  "They're putting in trees."

"I can see that.  Nice trees.  Good shade potential too."  That got a smile and Xander went to shower.   So he was stuck there alone when the worker came to the door.  "What's up?  I'm helping Xander today."

"We usually borrow some ice for our chest, sir."

"Sure.  He also had me put some water and lemonade in the fridge for you guys."  That got a smile and he came to get the stack of ice cube trays for their ice chest and told his boss about the water and lemonade.  Ray looked over as Xander came out and this time his hair was down.  "How can you stand having that much hair?"

"You get used to it."  He finished tying up his ponytail then wound it up and used a few hair sticks to put it in a sloppy bun on the back of his head.  He leaned out the door.  "Water and lemonade too," he called.  That got a smile and a wave.  "Did they already come up for the ice?"

"Yup."

"That's fine."  He went into the study.  "TV's in the other front room."

"Thanks."  He went that way, going to keep an eye on this very odd man who his son seemed to like.  He heard the squeal and shook his head.  Xander was definitely not the sort of man he wanted his son to be but he was protective of his kid.  He could like him for that much.  Even if he did sound like a teenage girl now and then and had hair his wife would beg for.

***

Horatio came over later that night, smiling at his sleeping brother.  "Thank you, Xander."  He looked at him.  They were both across the realm boundary and it was a nice night over there.  They were picking fruit for a late dinner.  Ray was napping in the living room.  "That man earlier was a very wanted drug dealer."

"Figures I move into a nice neighborhood and the bad guys love me here too."

"He was here long before you came to Miami."  He smiled.  "Who was the other person you had to have arrested?"

"Said he was with the lawn service.  Checked the back lawn, headed into the house like he owned it, went for my wallet while saying the owner said to take it out of his wallet, and when I took it from him he tried to take it back. I'm wondering about the housekeeper."

"I'm not sure," Horatio offered.  "We'll have to see."  They headed back inside once the basket was full, finding the door shut.  He tried the knob but it was locked.

"I noticed that the other day."  He started to knock and eventually Danny opened it, looking a bit confused.  "Someone closed te door."

"No one else is here."  He let them through, counting animals before closing it again.  They walked into the kitchen and found a strange woman.  "Who're you?"

"The housekeeper."

"At nine at night?" he demanded.  She gave him a look.  "Uh-huh.  Xander, go check your wallet again?"

"Sure, but check the safe?"

"Don emptied the safe the other day."  Xander nodded and went to check his wallet, bringing Danny the cuffs Don had brought home.  "What's missing?"

"My ID, my cash, and your badge."

"Huh."  He walked over and got her trapped between him and Horatio, putting her in the cuffs to pat her down.  He found all of them and some more.  "Good.  Let me call this in."  He did that, walking outside with the phone, letting them drag her.

"Flanders had the other one," Horatio offered, sitting her down next to the lounge area.

"It's wet," she complained.

"Yay," Xander said coldly.  She shut up at that.  He looked at Danny.  "My spare katana's missing too.  I noticed it earlier."

"We'll check her place," he assured him, giving him a kiss.  She made disgusted noises so he went on.

When the officers arrived she got loud.  "I demand you make them stop!  They're touching each other!  It's wrong!"

"She stole from us," Danny offered, grinning at the officer. "He's mine, I can kiss him. I found her with my badge and some money, plus Xander's ID.  Also, we're missing a sword so someone'll need to check her place."

"We had one arrested earlier for pretty much the same thing," Xander offered.  "An Officer Flanders arrested him."

"I'll check into that, sir.  Whose cuffs?"  Don raised his hand from behind his book.  "Um."  The book came down.  "Oh, Detective Flack, sir.  Sorry, didn't recognize the book."

That got a grin.  "Xander got it for me yesterday. It's a good book, you should try it."  He went back to reading.  "My badge and everything okay?"

"Didn't find it on her," Danny offered.

"Sure.  Guys, she complained that we put her in the muddy spot too."

"Pity," one of them offered, dragging her off reading her her rights.  She was still complaining about them touching each other in front of her.

Xander pouted.  "Now we need a new housekeeper."

"She sucked anyway," Danny assured him.  He pulled him into his lap, letting him cuddle until Ryan got there.  "Hey.  Another fight?"

"Yup."  He stole the Xander to hold, kissing him on the neck.  "Thanks.  Needed this."

"As long as I get him back before bed," Danny agreed dryly.  "So, Horatio, I know you're working on something personal.  Can we help?"

"Not yet but I do have someone hiding across the boundary.  Please leave him alone?"

"Sure," Danny agreed.  "Should we lock him in?"

"No.  You can't get free from that side," Xander offered.

"Okay.  We can do that and just keep quiet.  But if you need it, know it's there."

"Of course."  He smiled at them.  "I came to talk about the new lab person.  I'm stuck between one who wants it very badly and one who'd make a great field tech but I'm not sure he'd like Miami."

Don looked at him.  "Have you talked to Greg about these worries yet?"

"I have. He was very honest about why he wanted to switch from Vegas."

"Then maybe you should talk to Grissom, boss to boss," Xander suggested.  "Not that I wouldn't love to have Greg here."

"As would I but all his coping mechanisms are there and it'd be a rough transition without a steady keeper," Horatio agreed.  "We have one applicant who wants it more than anything.  I'd like to give her a shot as well but she'd probably do better with Mac."

Danny coughed.  "I love Mac, but the problem we had before is still there," Danny admitted.  "Let the new trainee head that way."

"Which would mean a more restrictive environment for Greg," Horatio agreed.  "Or for her."  They all nodded at that.

"Talk to Greg again, tell him that he might end up on Mac's team but that Stella's not that bad, that she's pretty permissive.  She usually gives you about a month to straighten out personality wise.  Clothing wise she'll say stuff," Danny offered. "How Donna got away with it that long I'm not sure."

"Stella said she tried to hint," Don offered.  "The girl apparently doesn't take them."

"Clearly, or stares of horror because I gave her one," Xander offered.  "I'd hate to see her annual pelvic exam."

"Eww," Danny pointed out.

"Sorry, I hung around with girls for years.  They talked about stuff like that with me."

"Yeah, well," Danny offered, giving him a look.  "No girls here."  He kissed him. "Help him be better, Ryan."

"Sure."  He kissed him, making Xander moan and shift to get more.

"Those two do look pretty together, especially if we could get Wolfe to grow his hair," Don teased, grinning at Danny.

"Bite your tongue, Don," Ryan complained.  "I don't like hair."  He kissed Xander again.

"Nah, he's good with shorter hair.   Makes 'em looked like unmatched book ends."  He grinned at Horatio.  "Donna's not the one, right?"

"No.  I would never accept someone that slovenly in my department.  Especially since I've heard she's made biological deposits on crime scenes."

"Yeah, I'm guessing Sheldon got the willies when he found her pubic hair on the vic that time," Danny agreed dryly.

"Not hard to do.  She had more hair down there than Xander does on his head," Don complained.  "And that skirt was short enough that you could see the globes of her ass when she walked."  Horatio shuddered.  "Yeah, exactly!  I don't care if a woman doesn't shave.  That's her thing.  Even if she wears shorts or whatever.  That's still her thing.  But that's going towards 'I don't respect myself' land and I can't work with cops like that."

Xander got sent a hard thought and stopped kissing Ryan to grab his head.  "She's pregnant too.  They're going to have to fix that for the birth.  Aphrodite said so."  He went back to kissing Ryan, making him moan and clutch his hips.

"I'm the only one who gets his ass tonight, Wolfe.  It's my turn," he said when Don pouted at him. "I'll let him have you."  Don grinned and blushed, going back to his book.

"I'll let you three play," Horatio offered, smiling at them.

"Thanks, boss," Danny agreed. "And remember, some of the rest of us had families too that had unpretty things in them.  If you need help, you ask.  Eric and I both have contacts you wouldn't expect."

"Some days you're like a normal CSI and some days you're clearly the immortal," Horatio teased.

"Yeah, I know.  Keeps me from bein' bored.  What can I say," he offered with a shit-eating grin.  Horatio walked off smiling.  "Say hi ta Speed since it was his day off."

"I will, Danny."

"Horatio, take some of the fruit," Xander called, getting a smile and he came back to get some and take with him.  "Night."

"Good night, boys."  He headed home, happier now.  He really didn't have to do this alone.

Xander beamed at Ryan.  "Can I pounce you?"

"As long as you don't hurt my back this time."

Xander hugged him.  "Pounce."  Ryan laughed and got up, letting Xander take him inside to cheer him up.  Even if he would be sore in the morning from being ridden near to death.  He was almost asleep on the edge of the bed when Danny and Don came in, watching as he pounced Don for real and had him, making him squeal, squeak, and beg too.  Danny patted his lap and Xander came over, submitting to him, making him one happy guy when he was teased with the ends of Xander's braid.  He got Xander's ass all to himself, even having to stretch it, and it made them both happy people.  They collapsed together and Don shifted closer to Ryan, hugging him.  Ryan smiled and let him cuddle.  He liked a good cuddle and Eric didn't.  Don gave excellent cuddles.  He'd have to remember this.

***

Ray Senior came out of the closet doorway, looking around.  No more noise, thankfully since he had been embarrassed earlier, so he headed for the kitchen.  He ran into Don, who just grunted and nodded.  "I'm assuming you're the guy Horatio's hiding?" he asked quietly.  Ray nodded.  "That's fine.  Eat, please.  Xander always cooks too much."  He got into the fridge and handed over a casserole dish and a fork.  Plus the milk.  "Here, go eat."  Ray smiled and went to do that, catching sight of the trio on the bed.  Don smiled.  "Yeah, they're pretty together.  Xander is visually stunning between Ryan and Danny.  Go eat." Ray blushed at being caught and went to do that.  Don finished his sandwich and went to watch them sleep.  They were visually pleasing.  He felt some like harem lord at the moment. It was an odd, but good feeling to know that this was his.  He finished up and climbed in behind Ryan, gently snuggling him.  Ryan moaned and shifted, making Don hard since he was rubbing back against him.  "Ryan?" he whispered.

"Please?"

"Sure."   He tested him then slid into the still damp hole, earning a hiss.  "Need more lube?"

"No, Xander rode me hard and put me away wet."

"I could tell."  He gently moved, just gently stroking back and forth in him, making him a happy boy.  "He was needing it.  Most of the time he's really gentle with me.  Last night he was in a pouncing mood."  He reached around to stroke him, getting a deep, satisfying moan from the man attached to him.  "Good boy," he soothed.  "Very nice."  Xander blinked at him.  "Suck him for me, Xander.  Make it good."  Xander moved down to suck Ryan for him, letting him set the rhythm.  He moved a bit faster but not much.  He knew how Xander loved to give long, slow blow jobs to them.  He'd had one that lasted over an hour before.  Ryan finally came and pulled Xander up to kiss him, letting Don come at the prettiness.  Then he put an arm around both of them and they cuddled Ryan between them. "Pull Danny closer, Xander."

"I'm cold," he whispered.  Danny shifted against Xander's back, making him shiver and tense up, but the cock sliding into him was nice.  Ryan held him while Danny worked, and Danny smirked at Don.

"He good?"

"He was very good and Xander gave him one of his nice, slow ones."

"I love those myself. They're great."  He sped up some, making Xander go squeaky this time.  Xander wiggled and rode him, really into it since Ryan was stroking him.  "Suck him, Ryan.  Return the favor."  He moved to do that and Don only let him go enough so he could.  Xander squealed one last time as he came and it was nice.  They drifted off, letting Ryan and Xander hug each other.  Danny looked at Don.  "Next time, you're in the center."  He blushed but nodded.  "Good.  I'd like that.  You and Xander look just as hot."  He leaned over and took a kiss.  "Sleep."

"Sure."  He snuggled in behind Ryan again, getting wiggled against.  It was nice, they were all cuddly tonight.  Even Danny stayed plastered against Xander's back for a long time.

Poker Buddies.

Eric watched Ryan walk in the next morning, frowning at how he was walking.  He walked down the hall and forced him into a lab.  "Are you trying to embarrass me?" he hissed.

"Why?"

"You're walking funny."

"Yeah, I slept on a bed that gave me a backache."  He shrugged.  "It does that now and then."

"Which means everyone will know where you slept."

Ryan looked at him, then shrugged. "They'll think I fell asleep while I was hanging out with Xander, which I did.  They all know we hang out, Eric."  He walked out, heading to get his stuff from his locker.  Speed looked at his watch then at him.  He shrugged and pointed at Eric.  "Him.  I was here on time."

"Bed back again?"

"Yeah.  I slept funny but it was comfortable."

"It usually is whenever you do that.  Done it a few times myself.  See if you can pop it before you log in."

"Sure."   He went to stretch in the locker room, sighing in pleasure when his back did pop.  "Better."  He walked back out there, going to get back to work. He got one smile from Natalia.  "I fell asleep playing with Xander."

"We figured you did.  You've fallen asleep on the couch plenty of times there."  She shrugged.  "Eric's worried over nothing."

"I hope so."  He took his results from her, sighing in displeasure.  "Valera couldn't match it?"

"Nope.  Sorry.  She tried really hard."

"I know she did.  Pity but we'll figure it out another way."  He walked back to where his case was stored, digging it back out.  Calleigh looked at him. "What?"

"You look like you're in a good mood."

"I am.  I played with Xander most of the night and camped over."  She smiled at that.  "Why?"

"Eric's pouting."

"Yeah, already gotten that this morning."  He smiled.  "Handled.  Trust me."  She nodded.  He got down to work this into the evidence he had.  He had been hoping for a DNA match to anything but it hadn't happened.  It wasn't going to be a happy morning much longer.  Frank leaned in.  "Still working, Frank."

"That's fine.  What crawled up his ass today?"

"I camped over at Xander's."

"Ah.  Yeah, the kid'll make you grin stupidly sometimes."  He glanced around then at him.  "You two okay?"  Ryan looked over and nodded.  "You sure?"

"I'm very sure.  Nothing's changed for us."

"Good.  Now can you get him to stop worrying about his age?"

"I can.  Xander's working on something and it'll be okay."  He nodded and left.  He called Xander. "Hey, me.  You were talking about wrinkles, the same as Eric is.  Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.  Thanks."  He hung up and got back to work. He was missing something somewhere.

***

Xander walked into the shop he needed, nodding at one of the Wiccans in there.  She gave him a dirty look. "He was knowingly selling me stuff to kill me and others.  Hell yes they arrested him."  He walked over to her.  "I wanted to pay for some work for some people."

"What sort?  Herbal?"

"Illusion.  Long lasting.  Us but with things like wrinkles."  She sat up at that.  "Making us look like we're aging some."

"That's....  Actually not that hard."  She stared at him.  "I probably couldn't do everything.  You might have to streak your hair."

"I can do that.  That's not a problem."

"Sit, tell me more."  He sat and talked to her about how he was still looking too young, how  he needed to look a bit older for some things.  She nodded and agreed that was true.  He told her it was something that came with being a GHS member and it got them more attention.  How they needed it sometimes.  She nodded more slowly at that.  He outlined who he needed them for, him and Eric, and later possibly someone else.  How he wanted them to be done.   She nodded at that, patting him on the hand.  They worked out how to do it and she said she'd get to work after he paid her.  He walked out and she went to find the book she needed.  It wasn't a hard spell.  It was the exact nature of what he wanted.  A few wrinkles, a laugh line now and then.  Nothing further.  She could easily do it though she wondered why he needed one a year.

***

Xander came home two weeks later with two small boxes. He called Eric.  "Come over tonight."  He hung up and set everything in the kitchen.  Then he got himself a drink.  Eric came in a few minutes later.  "Off today?"

"Yeah.  Why?"  Xander pointed at the boxes.  "What are they?"

"Put on the first one, give it ten minutes to settle in, then look in the mirror."  He smiled at him.   "Problems being solved," he said at his confused look.  Eric took out the ring.  "First finger.  I had Marisol help me pick out the style."  He smiled at that and put it on, then headed to look immediately.  He stared, watching the slight change happen.  Eric stared, then felt his own face.  He came out looking tired.  Like he hadn't slept in a day.  The few laugh lines he had were highlighted.  The line in his forehead was a bit deeper.  Xander looked at him.  "That'll last for a year.  Next year, on this date, you put on the next one.  It's a bit more progressive.  I've got a set for me to start wearing in a few years.  She went over how she placed them with me and we'll be seeing if I can make them myself."

"I..."  He smiled and hugged him.  "I love you."  He grinned.  "You can have Ryan for another night if you want."

Xander patted him on the face.  "They're saying one of mine is going to go off next life so I'll take Ryan then."  He laughed and skipped off, going to show the others.  The other immortals were going to be happy about this.  Xander settled in to sip his drink, putting their things in a more hidden spot.  Then he sat down with the book.  She had taught him how to apply it.  Now he had to figure out if he could craft it like it would be needed.  If not, he could hire her to do the others.  Horatio had knowingly backed Don's age down by a few years in his profile.  Danny's as well.  His, well, there was no hiding he had died young and pretty.

***

Speed looked at Eric, then stared at him.  "Long night?  You've got deeper ....  He managed it?"

"He hired someone."  He smiled and hugged him.   "Good enough for a year?"

"More than, Eric."  He patted him on the face.  "Now, go tell Ray.  He's worried about the gray hairs not coming in."  Eric went to talk to Ray, making Speed grin at that.  Then he looked over at Ryan, who was shrugging at him.  He nodded and he came over.  "Eric looks really tired today."

"I don't know why, he slept last night."

"Maybe it's something Xander just did for him."

Ryan beamed.  "Then I won't worry too much."  He punched him on the arm.  "Can I get a second pair of eyes?  I'm missing something."

"Sure."  They walked over and went over his case together.  Even Speed was stumped by this.  Then again...   He pulled out the samples from the blood pools and sent it back for other reasons.  That could help.  It could definitely help. "What did Xander do?"

"He's been looking at long-term illusions," he said quietly. "Something to add a few wrinkles a year."

"Ah.  No wonder he looked so tired.  It was so sudden."  Ryan nodded.  "So we're good?"

"We're fine.  I have years before I need one hopefully. This gives Eric more time."

"Good."   He smiled. "Not that he'd leave the area."

"No, he hasn't in a while.  He's been taking business classes at night."

"Who has?" Cooper asked when he came in.

"Eric.  We're all helping Xander with his money now and then," he covered. "What's up?"

"I found a murder on a traffic camera and no one's seen the body yet."  Speed and Ryan followed. "I sent it to Mac's AV tech but he said he hadn't seen her yet."  He replayed it for them.  Then he looked at them.  "I have no idea what was going on."

"Me either.  Where was that?  We'll start looking that way," Speed offered.  It was handed over.  "Were you just scanning?"

"No, Traffic caught it on the daily printout of people to send tickets to.  They caught the scene with the gun so they sent me the film and had me look it over.  That's what's so mystifying.  That's not a greatly busy intersection but still."

"Point.  I'll check, Cooper. Thanks."  He headed to call Traffic to see if there was a car there at the moment.  That was the first place to start. It had been towed so he headed to the impound yard to look at it.  "Awww.  Someone moved the body for us."  He called Alexx.  "Got a strange one.  Come get me at the impound yard. And her.  Thanks."  He hung up and got to work on her.  There was something seriously off about this case.

***

Horatio came down to the lab, looking confused.  "We caught one off a traffic camera?"  Speed nodded.  "Then someone moved the body and towed the car?"   Speed nodded again.  "Any ideas?"

"On who moved it? Yeah, one of our psychos.  He's also the one who called in the obstruction.  He wasn't involved and they're debating whether to charge him or not since he's with the PD.  The other?  He wasn't facing the camera.  Tyler's looking for a single scene with his face.  We almost have his plate.  He's doing it that way since that's the evidence we have."

"Interesting.  Any idea why?"

"Not yet.  Her purse was in the car and all there.  Everyone I talked to said she was a nice, sweet, normal girl without any bad habits.  Every once in a while they went out to do a girl's from the office night out.  She usually had one and cabbed home.  She was personable, people liked her to as their therapist when they were having boyfriend problems.  Nothing unusual there."

"Interesting.  Keep me informed."

"Anything on the other one?"

"Heading now."

"Need help?"

"No."  He looked at him and Speed quirked up an eyebrow.  "I need to do this, Speed."

"Go, be safe.  Or else."

"I know."  He went off, calling Xander to let his brother go free so he could meet him. This was something they had to do together.

***

Horatio watched his nephew and his father face off for the first time.  They were all wrong, Ray Junior punched him in the nose.  "That's for mom," he said, then he kicked him in the nuts.  "That's for me and the hell you put us through."

Horatio moved closer. "Ray."

"Don't tell me we have to leave."

"You should.  It's not safe."

"Then let him and Mom go.  No one hates me and if Mom goes to Brazil, she's returning home."

"Point, but where would you live?"

"Your spare room?" he asked hopefully.  "Or Xander's?"

"We'll see what happens, Ray," he sighed, giving him a hug.  "I don't want you to go either."  He looked at his nephew.  Then at his brother.

"It would be safer if he came with us," he reminded him, getting up with a groan of pain.  "Well, you taught my son how to hit properly, I'm proud, brother."  He looked at his son.  "Those are the only free ones you're getting."

"You ever hit me again and I'm going to cut you into bait chunks," Ray assured him.  He looked at his father.  "Please?"

"Junior, it would be safer," his father said.  "There's going to be people who want Horatio now too."

Ray looked at him.  "In case it had escaped your rotted mind, I'm not exactly helpless.  I've got people who would protect me.  Xander would give up his life to protect me.  Being with you means we're a bigger target together."

"Your mother would throw a fit," he said simply.  Ray wobbled at that.  "You know she would, son."  He gave him a cold look, one he had clearly learned off his uncle.  "If you hate it that much and we can't make it happen, I'll send you back to them."  Ray looked at Horatio, who nodded.  "Now, your stuff?"

"In the bag.  Uncle Horatio told me to pack, that there was a major problem, so I shoved everything together.  I even did laundry because I was expecting the need to be evacuated for a few weeks."  He looked at his uncle.  "I'm going to be lodging an official protest at this point.  I don't like this idea."

"I understand, Ray.  Did you remember to pack clothes with the electronics?"

"The electronics are with the school books in my backpack.  The clothes are in the duffel.  Including some of Mom's."  Horatio smiled at that.  "Along with another one of her stuff.  I knew you weren't going to give her time to pack."  He shook his head. "Must I?"

"You should.  If it's not going well, you're more than welcome to come back up here, Ray.  You know your Uncle and I will miss you horribly."  Ray hugged him again.  "You behave in Brazil.  Remember you can email me."

"I will.  Take the time to grieve, Uncle Horatio.  Rant at Xander if Speed won't let you."  He looked up.  "This is seriously unfair to you."  He grinned and got the things from the back of the cab, hefting them to the plane with his father's help.  His father even paid the cabbie, it was nice.  He got his backpack and gave him a nod. "Thanks."

"Welcome."  He checked the trunk and closed it, then waved something.  "Kid."  He came back to get the small card case, getting a shrug.  "Not a clue.  I haven't used it all day.  No one reported it missing.  Figured it was yours."

Ray looked inside and smiled.  "It is. Thanks."  He nodded and drove off.  He walked over to his uncle, showing him the filled card holder.  Horatio smiled at what was in there.  "Xander must know."

"He does.  I'm sure he knew it was coming."  He kissed him on the forehead.  "Behave and email me.  Let me know if you need me."  He nodded and stuffed that into his pocket, getting onto the plane.  Horatio called Yelina to get her to the airport.  It was time.  He watched as the reunion was made and Ray Junior protested, loudly.  She was happier though.  He waved and they left.  He finally turned around and found Xander behind him.  "You knew?"

"Of course I knew.  Not like I can send things that far across the city, Horatio."  He gave him a hug.  "Relax.  I'm here for you."  Horatio relaxed, letting it out now.  Speed would soothe him later, Xander was there to let him grieve now.  "He'll be back."

"He won't be.  It's not safe."

"It's not any more safe for him down there," he reminded him quietly.  "It'll happen, Horatio."  Horatio pulled back and nodded.  "We'll see him again soon.  I doubt your brother could put up with the rampaging hormones he'll have within the next few years.  You know his mom's not able."

"True.  Ray does know some."

"Some and being there are two different things.  By the way, I gave him the refilled Armani one you were going to get for your birthday."  Horatio smiled at that.   "Come on.  Need a ride back?"

"I drove."

"I cabbed.  Want me to drive?"

"No, it'll look odd if I don't.  Come on.  I'll bring you back and then head home early."

"You should."  He patted him on the hand.  "How is Eric's thing going?"

"It's good.  Marisol said it's cute."  He smiled at that and got into the hummer awkwardly.  Horatio smiled at him.  "You'll get more practice."

"Only if I decide I want to work with you guys and after some college.  Do we see that?"  Horatio shuddered and shook his head.  "Me either."  They headed off, Horatio lightened by that bit of small banter.  Xander was good at stress relief.  He kept up inane chatter on the way back, to letting Horatio have time to think too hard yet.  When they parked he walked him inside and upstairs, nodding at Speed. "He found me out by myself."

"You know better," Speed reminded him.  "What if you had been taken?"

"I was at the airport to check on possible vacation spots."  He shrugged.  "I would've went to Bora Bora or Brazil this year instead of next?"

Speed caught the hint and nodded.  "Probably.  H, your phone's went off about six times in the last few minutes."  Horatio went to deal with that.  "Thanks."

"I got to give him a small survival pack. He'll be back," he noted quietly.  "You know he will."

"He will."  He patted him on the head and went up to the office. "Danny, Xander's in.  H found him looking at vacation destinations for next year."

Danny came out of the lab he was working in.  "Maybe instead of the convention since you can't go this year.  They don't want anyone to try to top last year's," he said at the beginning pout.  "Adam already told you that."

"Yes, Danny," he sighed, walking off pouting.  He ran into Don.  "Are you going to go to the convention without me?"

"No, I was thinking about using the Hershey gift certificate I got then.  Already booked and everything.  You're probably going to Vegas again.   Right?"  Xander shook his head.  "Are you banned?"

"I don't want to make more trouble for them."

"I know."  He gave him a hug.  "We'll figure out where you're going instead of the convention.  You can drag Danny with you and everything.  How about that?"  Xander let out a small smile.  "Good boy.  Now go home."

"Horatio found me looking at travel destinations."

"Out alone, huh?  Drove?"

"Cabbed.  Figured I didn't want to leave the corvette in short term parking while I talked to the travel agent I use out there."  He shrugged and headed off, going to catch a cab home. He had the funny feeling and looked up then headed back inside right before someone shot at him.  He looked at the horrified guard.  "I lived somewhere dangerous.  I have bad shit radar."  He walked him upstairs while the others ran out to find the shooter.  He got put at Don's desk since there were no windows nearby, giving him a shrug.  "Someone tried to cap my ass."

"Wonderful. Who?"

"Sniper, sir.  They've found his nest but not him," the guard reported.  "They're still looking."

"Even better."  He nodded at that.  "Why?"  He looked at Xander, who shrugged. "Got a clue?"

"Sunnydale?  Someone who wants me and is in denial?  I don't know, pick one."

"Point."  He went to talk to the guys, seeing what he could find.  What he did made him chilled.  They had pictures of Xander in the house.  He sent copies of the scene to Mac, who sent back a 'go to a hotel, Don.  That's military'.  Don went back inside.  "We're going to a hotel, Xander."

"Already made reservations under my second identity.  It's secure, nice, and has a pool."  He stood up.  "Now?"

"In a while.  Let's give us time to figure this out."  Xander nodded, sitting down again.  He saw the look at Yelina's desk then heard he small sigh.  "What?  She'd know?"

"I hope not.  She'll worry more about her son."  They shared a look.  "It'll be fine."

"I'm sure it will be."  He moved the kid and sat at his desk, letting Xander sit beside him on the floor, like he liked to do.  Horatio came back.  "I already sent it to Mac, he thinks it was Military."  He looked at him.  "Xander said Sunnydale stuff?"

Xander tugged on his coat.  "Remember the tape I didn't give Mac but he found out about?"  He nodded then moaned.  "That's my guess."

"Or it could be something to do with my last case," Horatio offered.

"Military?"

"There were some links there, yes."

"Okay. If you say so.  Tonight, we're going to a hotel.  Already made the arrangements."  Horatio nodded.  "Under my second identity."  That got a brighter smile.  "So we'll be fine.  Go home, Horatio. It's been a long day."

"Once you two are settled in.  Did you want Ryan and Eric or anyone to go with you?"

"If they do you know very well someone will say we're all having a big orgy there," he said dryly, making Horatio snicker in laughter.  "We'll be fine with just Danny and Don plus hotel security."  Horatio nodded, heading to check on the progress since Ryan was in fierce bitch mode according to the patrol officer who had called him.  He walked out and clapped him on the shoulder. "I have it, Ryan.  Go guard Xander."  Ryan nodded, heading inside.  "What do we have?"

"We have a nest and a missing person," one of the dog handlers offered.  "No scent of him, Lieutenant.  We found tracks from a BMX bike."

"Wonderful."  He nodded.  "All right then.  We'll evacuate him within the next few hours."  That got a nod and they kept searching.  The look on Horatio's face was the 'someone's going to pay' look.  They all knew that look.  He went back inside.  "It looks like he's gotten away," he said quietly to Don.  Don just sighed and packed things for the night.  "I think it might be better if you went to the other spot."

"Major problem.  He had pictures from the house, Horatio."  Ryan stiffened at that.  "They were on top.  He doesn't often go out naked in public these days."  That got a nod and they got Xander up and hustled him down to the hummers, watching as Don drove him off with Ryan.  Ryan came back alone.  Danny would head in his own car later on.

Horatio called Mac to handle this one since it was military related then he went to watch and think.  Or not think since Speed kept interrupting him before he could brood.  His mate did know him very well.

***

Don looked over as Xander answered the door.  "You know better than that."  Xander said something quietly to someone and got a nod, and a case, then paid the guy.  The guy walked off and he walked back inside.  "What's that?"

"An emergency kit I had stored in town."   He sat down to open it, then looked at his boyfriend's horrified look.  "Sometimes it's necessary.  The military's too stubborn to leave me alone permanently, Don."  He glanced at the closed curtains then got up and set a heater on it, coming back to sit down again and look over the rest of it.  Don looked at the heater, then at him.  "To confuse any heat readings he might be taking.  That's why I chose this place."  He found what he wanted and handed it over.  "For Horatio.  It's the audio file of what went down and who we had."  He put that box back and pulled back his hair with a band he had in there, then put on an earring, becoming someone blonde, tanned, and a bit different looking.  "How did I do with my first attempt?"

"Good.  You don't really look like yourself.  Maybe a cousin."  Someone knocked and he got up to let Danny in.  "Hey."

"I heard."  He looked at the person on the couch then at Don.  Don flicked his ear, getting a nod.  Danny walked over to look at him.  "You can still see some dark hair in back," he said quietly.  Xander braided it and it quit that.  "Too far out?"  Xander nodded.  "Okay, remember that."  He looked him over again, then nodded.  "Looks good to me.  What is that?"

"An emergency kit."  He let him have it.  "Mostly for you guys," he admitted.

"There's a gun in here."

"Plus a mini crossbow and a few other things," he agreed, shrugging.  He took out the hard-sided case and opened it.  "Plus one of these."  He put the sword together and let him test it.  "It's even sharp."

"I can tell that."  He put it back into the case and looked at the rest of the bag.  "Your passport?"

"In this name," he agreed. "I need to put a picture in."  They stared.  "I do."  He shrugged. "I can do that with the thing in there."  He pulled out the small kit in there, using the digital camera on it to take his picture. It would scale it back to the right size and print it out, already glued on the back.  He looked at it then nodded and stuck it onto the passport, pressing it down.  "There."  He put that back and looked at them. "What?"

"Where did you get that?" Don asked.

"I refuse to answer that on the grounds you'll kick my ass."

"Not good enough," Don offered.  "That's probably illegal."

"More immoral.  It's not illegal to have a picture camera and printer together yet."  He shrugged.  "It's only the size that makes it immoral.  As for where?  In the city.  I'll tell Horatio because it might become useful for him sometime soon.  Ryan doesn't know either before you call him."  He took the bag back and Don took the camera setup to look over.  He took it back when he was done, putting it back inside.  He grinned. "It even looks just like a polaroid when folded up."

"I noticed that."  He took the bag to look through again, coming up with other stuff he wasn't sure about.  He lifted up something and hit the extend switch, turning on the taser.  "Huh."  He put that back and pulled out a small canister.  "Sleeping gas?"  Xander nodded.  "Are you trying to be James Bond?"

"No."  He pouted.  "Just good and survive."

"You are.  How many more of these are around?" Danny asked.

"Two, three.  This is the one with the picture."  He shrugged.  "I was going to give the other stuff to Steve."

"Sure," he sighed, then shook his head.  "You know we've got to tell Eric, right?"

"Tell Richard. He's the one who put me in touch with them."

"We're telling Eric," Don assured him. "And Horatio.  And probably Mac."

"Mac would have to report it."

"No he wouldn't."

"Yes he would.  He's got good guy syndrome," Xander reminded him.

"Point."  He went to call Eric, bringing him to their location.  Eric gave Xander a stare too.  He flicked his ear.  "It's his first attempt."

"Looks good."  He came in and Xander showed him the camera by taking his picture.  Eric gaped at the picture that came out.  "How?"

"Richard pointed me at them."

"I should confiscate that."

"I was sending it to Steve."

"That's not a bad idea," Eric admitted.  He sighed.   "What did you do?"

"He's got some emergency packs around the city," Danny offered dryly.  He handed it over. "Complete with take-apart sword."

Eric looked at that then the other stuff, then at Xander.  "This I didn't expect from you."

"It's handy.  Remember, I've got more issues than you do."

"Point.  Who fired at you earlier?"

"Personally?  I think someone from the military about Sunnydale."

"Why?"

"They had a covert ops group in there that we ended up breaking down for them."  Eric sat down and stared at him.  "They were torturing others."

"Uh-huh."  He just nodded at that and sighed, shaking his head.  "At least you're trying to protect others."

"I figured that would come in handy."

"It will.  Also for those who make fake IDs, Xander."

"Who do you think I got it off of, Eric?  Richard pointed me at them."

"Fine.  We'll go over that with Horatio later," he sighed, shaking his head.  "Let me see the one you did."  Xander tossed it over.  It was a good job.  The picture was stuck well.   "The new licenses are embedded.  How are they getting past that?"

"Blank sheets of cards and digital cameras. Just like the DMV does."

Eric moaned. "I need to know who they are."

"If I tell you, you'll bust them and they'll know it was from me."

"They won't, Xander."

"They will, Eric.  I'm the one who suggested the camera.  There's only twelve of them in existence that I know of."

"Oh."  He nodded at that.  "We'll see what H says then."  Xander nodded at that.  "You'll tell him?"

"I had every intention of telling him.  He could find a way around that if he needed to and sometimes he knows people who need the product."

"Good point.  Plus Steve would."  That got a nod.  "Good thinking.  Bad timing to show us, but good thinking."  He smiled.

"Push the ring back in place, the wrinkles aren't meshing," Danny ordered.

"I had to take it off to clean toxic goo off me earlier. I just put it back on."  He wiggled it and everything matched up again. "Better?"  They nodded.  "Thanks, guys."  He looked in the kit again.  "Where's the other ones?"

"Hidden."

"Why?"

"In case I needed to run from something like this or another attacker, Eric.  I know very well they can't protect me all the time and that one guy never showed up."  They all groaned.  "So therefore, I made some contingency plans.  I'm not the airhead everything thinks I am."   Someone tapped on the door and he went to check then let in the security guard.  "What's up?"

"Checking on your party, sir.  There was a man downstairs trying to find you."  He smiled.  "Thank you for that tip."

"Welcome.  Do I look okay as a blond?"

"The color makes a difference, you look like a whole new person.  He went away when the desk person couldn't find you in the system."

"Thank you, Bob."

"Welcome, sir."  He took another tip and left.

Xander came over and dug into the little pocket inside the bag and came out with a different earring, putting that in.  Now he was a redhead.  They all looked amused.  "What?"

"You look like Horatio's younger gay brother."

"Thanks.  I'll tell him you said that when I see him later.  We should go."  They nodded and packed everything together, letting Xander lead the way.  Since he had the plans and all. They ended up at a restaurant in Chinatown and in the back room, where Xander took off his earring with a sigh of pleasure.  "Thanks, guys.  So, not playing tonight but I've got to pick up and run I think."  They pouted.  "Sorry.  Someone tried to shoot me earlier.  I'm much too pretty to die this week."  One of the guys went to get the two bags from the back and handed it to him.  "Thanks, boys.  See you guys in a few weeks.  Email me if we're moving areas."  He put on the earring and walked out with a wink for the waiter who usually got him his tea.  He slid into the car and looked at them.  "What?"

"What was that?" Don asked.

"Where I go to play poker on Thursday afternoons?"  He shrugged. "Are we barging in on Horatio?"

"We probably should," Eric admitted.  "Anything else you should pick up?"

"Not with you guys with me."  They all glared at him. "Truth. Sorry."  He shrugged.  "Let me go do that.  Don't touch my poker winnings."  He took a bundle of cash from one bag and headed out in a cab, going to see his other contacts.  He'd meet them at Horatio's house.  Though he didn't pick up *everything*.  The guys who owed him money were told and they'd come up with it soon enough so he could store that instead of what he had withdrawn from his hiding spots.  He landed on Horatio's doorstep a few hours later with two large bags and a backpack, tapping gently.  Speed let him in with a glare.  "Let me guess, Eric ranted?" he asked as he walked in.

"A lot.  He's at home.  Don and Danny are at a different hotel."

"That's fine.  I swore up and down I'd tell Horatio about what I had hidden so Don would quit nagging.  Think he's up for a laugh?"

"Probably could use one," he admitted.  "Horatio?"  He came out of the study.  He pointed at Xander.  "The idiot arrived."

"He is not," Horatio reminded him.  "Xander?"  Xander gave him a sweet smile.  "That doesn't work on me."

"Yay.  I promised Don I would tell you.  I figured if they needed busted you could do it without using me so I wouldn't get in trouble with the poker buddies and you probably knew someone who could use the help now and then."

"Hold on, your *poker* buddies did this?" Speed asked.  "Who are you playing poker with, Xander?"

"Well, one of the heads of a street gang.  A few dealers I think.  Someone named Senor Cruz?  And a few others.  Depends on which game we're talking about."  Horatio smirked at him.  "What?  Bad things?"

"Bad people, Xander.  Come talk to me.  Bring the things.  Don was amused at your poker stash."

"Yeah well, I told a few of them I wanted the money they owed me soon too.  That way I can refill those spots.  I only hit the one poker stash. The rest of this is stuff I found because of them."  He walked the stuff he was carrying into the office and started to unpack, unwrapping things from clothes.  "Sorry, had to have clothes in there."

"That's fine."  He took the small camera setup Don had shown him earlier.  "Where does this hook up?"

"USB port in the back of the base to the computer in the backpack."  He pulled it out and handed it over, then hooked up a small printer with a black case attached to the paper side.  Then he got more stuff.

"Whoa, that's a sniper rifle."  Speed came in to get it and looked it over.  "Nice taste."

"Thank you."  He beamed.  He went back to unpacking, putting the money beside him, the clothes in another pile.  "I know I have another one," he said, repacking the money and clothes into the first bag and undoing the second one to start working on that one.  "Ah!"  He found it and handed that box over as well.  Then he got everything reloaded back into that bag.  Horatio gave him a look so he sighed and pulled out the stack of blank documents in the bottom.  "I'm sending those to Steve."

"I'm sure you are," he agreed.  He flipped through the blank birth certificates.  Then the stack of black passports.  Then he looked at him. "Interesting.  What else can you do?"

"Those can be loaded into the printer to be printed."  He hooked up the camera to the computer, then looked at Speed.  He pointed it at him and typed, then it flashed and he downloaded something.  A minute later the printer hummed and out popped a full, warm, new Florida license.  He handed it to Horatio, who stared at it.  "He needed a new one. After the storm, I'm never going to be without an ID again."  Speed stared.  "What?" he whined.  "I'm making plans for the next time I get kidnaped and helping Steve."

"Owning that is probably illegal."

"It's not on the lists," he defended.  Speed groaned. "It's not."

"No, it's probably not," he admitted, using his computer to log into work and search the new license.  It was in the database.  "That part is however."

"They put it together for me, Horatio."  He logged off and went to get them both something to drink, bringing it back.  Xander had repacked everything. "I'll send it to Steve in the morning."

"I want to know who you play poker with and where, what days, all of it," Horatio ordered calmly.

"As long as they can't trace it back to me.  I didn't know a few were drug dealers until a few weeks back.  Then one started to talk about his son Clavo's trade."

"I understand.  I can do that," he promised. "As long as you cooperate."

"Sure."  He shrugged.  "Ryan picked me up one day and started to vent on me.  I didn't know why.  He said one was a gang leader."

"How did you get into this circle of players?" Horatio asked.

"Manny introduced me."

"Manny Two Shoes?"  Xander beamed and smiled.  "He was in your original high stakes circle?"  Xander nodded.  "Why did he introduce you?"

"He wanted to see if anyone could beat me or figure out how I was cheating.   He was trying to get out of the half a million he still owes me."

"I see.  How many people owe you money, Xander?"

"A lot."  He shifted, curling up so he could hug his knees.  "They're going to be paying me this week.  Why?"

"I'd like to know who," he offered.

"The General, as the other guys call him, Senor Cruz to me, said he knew I knew you."

"All right, here's what we're going to do, Xander.  You're still going on a trip.  Alone probably.  That way you keep your cover.  I want to know everything about your poker buddies.  When you come back, after we've gotten the sniper, then we'll see if I need you to wear a wire."

"They pat me down all the time."

"I know they do.  It'll be fine."  Xander nodded.  "Good boy.  Where would you like a vacation?"

"Brazil?" he asked pitifully.

Horatio gave him a hug.  "I can't do that without endangering them.  Anywhere else?"

"Monaco?"

"With your reputation, it's not a bad idea and I have some contacts in Interpol," he agreed with a smile.  He got to work making the arrangements, including telling his boyfriends so they'd take care of the animals.  Then they got to work on who he played poker with on what days.  Xander ended up making a call to say he wouldn't be at the next game to someone, telling them about the sniper and how it was thought he was military so he was taking a sudden vacation to Monaco, to have the rest of his poker debts gathered back at the usual spots.  That he had taken the one from Fu's place.  Then he hung up and got to work on everything else.  They even drove Xander to the airport with Mac's assistance.  That way they could talk about how it was wrong to horde illegal document making machines.  He seemed to listen to Mac now and then but Horatio couldn't berate him for it this time.  Mac even stopped to get the poker money Xander had picked up.  Xander did as promised and sent the box of document making things to Steve with instructions to call him if he didn't understand.  UPS drops were wonderful.  Then Xander got onto the flight.

Mac went back to Horatio's, giving him an odd look.  "How much did we send him off with?  Those two bags were stuffed."

"Danny and Don gave up counting after a hundred bundles of hundreds," Speed offered, handing him a beer.  "You'll need it.  Did he send the stuff to Steve?"

"What was it?"

"Things to help people like him when they had to change lives," Horatio said dryly, coming out of the office, showing him the new license.  "In the database and all."  He handed it to Speed, who just smiled at that. "No losing it to speeding tickets, Tim."

"Yes, dear."  He grinned and sat down, letting Mac sit down and stare at them.  "He's been unknowingly playing poker with the Miami's Underground."

"Charming.  How did he get introduced?"

"Manny Two Shoes."

"The hustler?"  They both nodded.  "Why?"

"He owes Xander about a half a million at the moment," Horatio said blandly.  Mac moaned and drank his beer, going to get a second one.  "Exactly. He wanted to see if anyone could beat him.  He's on his way to Monaco."

"Well, they'll be as happy as Vegas I'm sure."  He sat down again.  "So, what did we find out?"

"A lot," Horatio offered.  "But it can't come from him."

"Agreed.  I wouldn't make them go after the kid.  He might make them his willing subjects."  He shrugged and Horatio handed over the information, then he stared at him.  "You're kidding?"

"Nope," Horatio said with a smile.

"Who did he get the blank documents from?"

"Second page, Mac."  Mac looked and smirked. "That's a military contact.  Not an immie I've heard of either.  It went to Steve?" They both nodded.  "At least it's being used for good purposes.  Did he use his passport?"  They shook their heads.  "Joy."  He went over the information.  "I could use some of this."

"I want the Cruz family gone," Horatio agreed.  "Shall we work together?"

"I would enjoy that," he agreed happily.  That got smiles from Speed too.  "Anything else we can use?"

"Yes. He said Richard sent him to the document makers.  Did he send the laptop and everything to Steve?" Horatio asked.  Mac nodded.  "That had a small camera setup that made the pictures.  It's a digital one and it comes out pre-glued according to him.  That's how he did his new passport."

"Interesting new technology. I wonder if anyone knows."

"He said there's only twelve and it was kinda his idea, his words," Speed offered.  "So they'd know."

"Still needs to be passed back."

"It does," Horatio agreed.  "Not quite yet though."

"Agreed.  Once we get a working one."  That got nods.  "Have you checked for bugs recently?"

"I have," Horatio agreed.  "Today in fact."  He pointed at the kitchen.  "They're already frozen in a chunk of ice.  I'm going to be talking with Rick in the morning."

"Sure.  Let me know if I can help with that too."  They got down to planning how to do this.  It would help them bring down some very bad people and they wouldn't have to mention Xander at all.  Once they got one of them, and they could get at least one without implicating the kid, they could get more and bring down some major players. The best thing was they could use Xander's sudden need for a vacation as an excuse.  Someone had to be watching him.  Not even them.  They could've gotten it from the guy hunting him when they found him.  Hopefully the next day.

***

Steve Ellison opened the package that had been overnighted to his office, looking at the note first.  "If you need to know how to use this, let me know, Xander.  Remember to fold the bigger things in half by width?"  He took out the backpack and started to unload the gear.  The camera got an odd look.  The printer thing got another one.  Then he saw the stack of passports and moaned.  He knew what this was for.  He put it back together and went to hide it somewhere safer than his office since the people he was working for were being investigated by the FBI for fraud and embezzlement. Fortunately his brother knew what he was and he knew he was doing necessary things.  Even if he didn't like it.  And his brother's partner was even more able to hide things for him.  Blair had some extraordinary contacts within Cascade.  By the time he got back he was happy again.  It was safely put away.  The agent looking over the books he had reported gave him an odd look. "Personal gift from someone I help do private investments for.  He only knows my work address and I didn't want to leave it here since it was expensive."

"Sure.  Anything we can use?  We know there's an issue in Miami and your secretary said it came from there."

"No.  It was a new computer.  He's a member of GHS."  That got a shudder.  "Since he's got problems dealing with money I do his finances for him.  He's a friend of a friend."  He sat down to go over what the forensic accountant had found.  No one had found out he was the whistleblower yet.  His father's reputation was as 'anything for the profit' and they all assumed he was like that as well.

***

Xander stepped off the plane in Monaco and looked at the Custom's agent.  "English?"  He shrugged.  "I speak French and Russian poorly."  A line was pointed at so he hefted his bags that way.  "English, French, or Russian?"

"Francais?" he suggested.

Xander nodded and handed over his passport.  The guy looked at him then the picture.  "Hairdye," he said in French.  "Necessary.  I'm taking a sudden vacation because someone was stalking me."  That got a nod and they went over the bags.  They found his backup camera and laptop but they looked normal to him.  They were mostly normal.  He nodded and let them search the money bags he had carried onto the private flight, weathering the horrified looks.  "I'm in a circle of high stakes poker games in Miami."

The officer nodded and told him how to get to the cabs.  He nodded and got a trolley, heading out with everything.  He knew they'd be alerting the locals but he wasn't going to do anything wrong.  He nodded at the officer outside.  "Which casino is best to stay at?"  He gave him a recommendation and Xander smiled.  "Thank you."  He headed out, getting into a cab, the money bags first.  He paid the driver and repeated that, finding out that it had a baccarat tournament going on.  He checked in and went to see if he could enter.  They had his file from Vegas so it was all good.  He paid his entrance and went to get some of the cash from the bag, coming down to cash in and sit down to play.  Fortunately it had only started the day before so he could join the last heat of beginning levels.  It was going to be a fun trip, even if he lost.

***

Horatio looked at his email a week later, seeing the pout from Xander.  "They're debating if he should be allowed to play his last hand at baccarat over.  The other guy claimed he was cheating.  They're going over all his games in detail now.  If so and he wins he won the tournament.  If not, he came in second."  Danny groaned at that.  "We sent him to a good spot for it."  He handed over the file.  "I'm still not sure that test won't be challenged."

"Let them.  It's based on sound science.  Mac's had to do it before."

"Good point."  He smiled.  "I'm not debating it, simply warning. He confessed once you faced him down, Danny."  Danny relaxed and nodded at that.  "Do you still want to stay?"

"Please."

"Of course. I'm going to call Greg today, and then possibly Grissom.  I would love to have Greg but I have my doubts about his ability to handle it down here.  That should handle the last open spot."  Danny smiled and went back to work.  He called Greg.  "I know it's early."  He smiled and leaned back, listening to him babble.  "Well, you're my second choice and I wanted to explain why and see if I could help you out there, Greg.  Yes, but you'd also be far away from all your coping mechanisms out here.  It would create a lot of stress.  Plus most of the department here knows about the group.  There have been officers who have hinted that they know about me as well."  He nodded at that sound reasoning.  Greg had complained about being outed to his whole team there, having the ones here know and know how to deal with it wasn't thrilling him.

"I know that, Greg, but I'm still worried that you'd end up surging down here since you wouldn't have the time or the energy for the first few months to go find a coping mechanism.  That's what I'm offering, yes.  I think you're doing great out there with him and with Danny wanting to stay, you'd be under Mac.  Mac's lenient but he's also a former Marine and he's got a set of fairly firm guidelines, Greg.  I'm not sure it would suit you best either.  No, he and Danny have some personality conflicts now and then."  He smiled. "I know.  They'll probably end up switching back and forth.  I know they do know.  Xander was up there....  Yes, Don and Danny both worked with that team when Xander first took Don in as his protector.  Mac may have known another, I'm not sure.  Which again, would lead to more stress," he agreed when Greg pointed that out.  "If I knew you were coming to my team and only my team, I would love to have you, Greg."

He smiled at his assertion he wanted to come down. "If you can set it up beforehand, my next opening is yours.  No, Sheldon's going back into the field as well.  They've finally found an ME for their team.  Yes, I'm sure, Greg.  The next opening if you want it.  Let me know, make sure you've got coping mechanisms in place before you come down. That way you can't get seriously overloaded and surge on a scene.  Greg, even I've done that," he said quietly.  "I have one, Greg.  He was there and got me settled down.  Thank you.  I think you have the makings of a great CSI.  That's the other reason I wanted to talk to Grissom for you. I don't think it's fair you're living up to the standards set by someone who's OCD.  Yes, I do realize that.  Ryan is as well.  If you want, I could do that.  Of course, Greg.  I want you to find a keeper or a coping mechanism before you come down when the next job spot opens, Greg.  You'll need it.  The first two months are always harder while you get adjusted to the new team and everything.  Of course. Thank you, Greg.  I'll call him immediately.  Of course.  Have a better night, Greg.  Probably within a year.  They're talking about promoting Calleigh over one of the lesser labs."  He smiled. "I wouldn't mind.  You know that.  Of course, Greg.  Have a better day."

He hung up.  Then he decided to wake up Grissom.  "Gil, Horatio Caine in Miami.  Actually he did, but with what's going on down here I don't think the position would do the best for him and his goals.  However, he did make some observations that I think you do need to hear.  Gil, you put him with someone with OCD.  Yes, he does.  Have you see Warrick's kit recently?"  He smirked.  "Exactly.  Greg's not like that.  It's a conflict that's keeping him from learning as he should.  Perhaps that's a point to consider.  You have an excellent team out there, but Warrick and he are having some personality conflicts in this role, even if they can work together usually.  Yes, but Greg's from a whole different sort of culture, Gil.  Yes, Warrick's meticulous to the point of OCD.  Greg's not.  He'll never be that sort of tech.  He'll be a tech like Eric and Speed.  One who has some fun on the job to keep things light.  He'll never be the sort to volunteer for the extra fifty hours a week someone like Warrick put in.  Greg's going to be exactly like he was in the lab while he's in the field.  He mentioned you and he had some clashes there as well.  Who worked best with him?"

He nodded.  "Then maybe it's time to see if he can train and then correct anything he does wrong.  No, truthfully, one of Mac's team wants to switch to mine and I'm not sure being on Mac's team would help Greg any.  Mac has superhuman expectations as well."  Don leaned in and he held up a hand.  "No, I think if you butted into that private matter again you're going to lose Greg, Gil.  He's said that bothered him.  You're not his keeper to be watching over him that way.  I believe he called it creepy with the way you kept questioning him.  He said he felt like a test subject.  Well, unless you intend to offer to become his keeper...."  He smirked. "He didn't think so either. Yes, he did.  I told him I'd call you about these things and he agreed since he knew they had to be addressed for him to continue on your team.  If not, he's got offers to interview in a few other cities already.  He told me Houston and Los Angeles were both trying to recruit him."

He chuckled. "I know you hate it when other labs poach, Gil.  The same as I do.  The same as I think Greg's got a good handle on himself out there.  Did you ever think perhaps he was hyperactive before he was a member, Gil?  It's been known to happen.  Xander's the same way. The only difference between Greg and Xander is level.  Xander's uncomfortable with studying.  His ADHD is much stronger than Greg's.  Greg's down to just being bouncy.  He assured me it had nothing to do with his hormones.  Did you ask?"  He nodded. "That's what he thought you'd say.  Well, Gil, obviously he doesn't feel he can.  Especially since he thinks you'll use it in whatever experiment you're using him as part of."   He smirked at Don when he came back.  "Exactly.  So you've about lost one already, Gil.  It's up to you to fix it.  He said he's perfectly happy with your team most of the time, all but those two matters.  Perhaps someone who tolerates him better?  No, I wouldn't let Sarah train him, Gil.  Think about the personalities.  I know that's not your strong suit but who did Greg get along with best in the labs?"

He nodded. "Then let Nick train him.  It's time he learned that he can teach as well as do.  It would also keep him out of trouble for a while.  It would give you the time to repair your professional relationship.  Gil, he was ready to move that week when I interviewed him.  He said he'll come in tonight and he's expecting you to open an honest and professional dialogue about this conversation.  How would you, Gil?  You're still not his keeper.  I know but that's how he feels.  Then I'd ask him tonight. Greg opened up very easily to me. He would if he was asked.  Even Hodges has spotted the problems according to him."   He smirked at the hurt tone in his voice.

"Exactly.  So I would step back and consider the actual person.  He's not his hormones. He has those under complete control.  He's hyper because he's hyper. If it was his hormones, he'd be confused and hyper, not just hyper.  Gil, again, I was at the convention for a few reasons," he said blandly.  As a mentor to a few other GHS members and their keepers especially.  You're driving Greg away.  He'll leave after tonight if you don't.  Well, he does have other offers, Gil. I'm sure he could stay with Xander if he had to until he found one.  Not that I think it would take that long.  Yes, I'm sure.  He and Xander are very close.  Gil, Ryan Wolfe is OCD and even he called Warrick OCD.  Said he was the God of OCD techs everywhere."  He nodded.

"True.  So think about it.  Yes, that is my suggestion.   You have a few hours until graveyard starts.  Take it and think about Greg.  You will lose him.  He seems like he'd make a great tech with the proper person teaching him.  Whose decision was it to out him to the team, Gil?  He briefed them.  Everyone probably assumed he knew one.  Who was it that told them he was one?  That's just one of the hurts, Gil.  You could have ruined his career with that.  I know they see him differently.  He knows they see him differently.  He bluntly stated he'd be down to surf if things didn't go well tonight during your talk.  He'll be there when he's due and he expects you to come to him and talk to him, Gil.  If not, I'll watch out for him while he's surfing and make sure his new lab knows how to mentor him best.  I know there's a few good ones in LA's felony lab."  He smiled. "I'll talk to him tomorrow I'm sure.  He's a very nice young man, Gil.  I look forward to seeing him in the field.  Have a better day, Gil, and think long and hard about this talk. He said he's expecting it.  I will.  Have a better night."  He hung up and looked at Don.  "What's going on?"

"Where's Yelina?"

"Brazil."

"Crap.  Frank's gonna pout for months."  Horatio cracked a smile.  "Can you talk to Frank?  He's starting to wonder."

"I will.  Send him back here and thank you for watching out for him."

"All I did was feed your brother, Horatio.  He stayed in that other spot the whole time he was there.  I only ran into him the once."  He shrugged and left, going to see Frank.  "Hey, Frank, Horatio knows what's going on with Yelina.  He said he couldn't tell me but I told him you were ready to sulk so he said to go talk to him yourself."

"Thanks, Don."   He looked at the empty desk, then at him.  "Is she coming back?"  He shrugged and shook his head.  "I didn't think so," he sighed, heading off.  He found Horatio in his office. "What happened?"

"Close the door."  Frank did that.  "My brother's alive, Frank.  His death was part of the operation," he said quietly.  Frank sat down, staring at him.  "I sent them to safety.  The letter she's sending should make it to the chief sometime soon.  I gave him a hint that she had to leave for safety reasons."

"Your nephew?"

"Went with them.  He said he might be back if he couldn't stand it down there with them."

"He's only fourteen."

"His first act was to hit his father in the nose for her and then kick him in the balls for himself, Frank," he said with a small smirk.  "Xander gave him a way to get back here if he needs to."

"Sure.  So she's not coming back?"

"Probably not."

"Damn it."

"Then again, the chief said you're not getting a replacement either."

"Oh, charming."  They shared a look.  "Any other cheery news?"

"The new trainee will be going to Mac's lab and it's one from one of the smaller misdemeanor labs up there."

"So, Danny's staying?"

"He is.  Also, they're making sure Xander isn't cheating.  If he's not, they'll let him replay his last hand of the baccarat tournament and he'll win. If not, he said he'd accept second.  He knows he's not cheating."

"I know he's not cheating but the boy's playing with dangerous people over there."

Horatio smirked.  "He was playing with The General down here, Frank."  Frank gave him a look.  "Seriously.  Manny Two Shoes introduced him."

"You're shitting me," he said fondly.  Horatio shook his head, smirking more now.  "Do we have a plan?"

"We do.  It's already in motion.  After all, a few people were watching Xander when he went to clean out his poker stashes."

"Oooh, that's going to be good.  Anyone good in that group?"  Horatio handed over the briefing sheet he had shown Mac.  "Oh, man," he said happily, smiling. "Can I help?"

"Of course, Frank.  You know you're my preferred backup."

"Yeah, I know."  He handed it back. "Let me know, Horatio."  That got a nod.  "Should we pack Yelina's things?"

"We should.  I will tonight."  That got a nod and he went back to his desk.  Horatio considered the upcoming actions he was doing on this case.  Then he smiled.  It was time to put another play into action.  He made the call and got up to go with the officers.  Xander really shouldn't be playing with men like that anyway.  They might hurt him and then Danny and Don would lose their tempers and Ryan would prove why he wore the marks he did. After the only time he'd seen Ryan's temper while he was fighting he had made sure he never saw it again.  Because the game didn't have three berserkers, it had four.

Flies Meet Ointment.

Xander came off the plane and shrugged at the Custom's guy, carrying out his bags.  He put them down on the tarmac and then got his jacket and last things, then came out again.  They were hefting his stuff for him.  "Thanks, guys.  I could've gotten that."  He walked inside, smiling at them.  "I had a sudden gambling trip due to a stalker."

"That's fine, sir.  Passport?"  Xander handed it over.  He checked the list then looked at him.  "Sir, your picture doesn't match."

"Hair dye."

"Really?"  He looked at his hair.  "It's a few colors, sir."  Xander sighed and took out his illusion, making him blink.  "How?"

"Magic.  Seen the moving _The Craft_?"  That got a nod.  "That.  Magical hair dye."  He shrugged. "Like I said, I had a stalker."

"I see.  You do know that forging passports is illegal?"

"I've got a totally legitimate one."

"Not by our list, sir."  He waved at someone.  "Let's check your bags, shall we?"

"Sure, but the dog treats are in the smaller one."  That got a nod and they looked through his bags.  They found his laptop but the programs to make passports wasn't on there anymore.  He had burned it down and erased it.  He had gotten a tip that something like this might happen.  The bags with the cash got a few odd looks.  "I went to Monaco to gamble."

"I see," the Immigration agent said.  "May I see your ID please, sir?"  Xander sighed and pulled it out.  "Hmm.  One from California?"

"I'm from there originally."

"By this date, you had it renewed recently?  You live out there?"

"I've got property out there.  I'm keeping it up just in case."

"That's understandable, sir.  Now, the cash?"

"I went to Monaco to gamble. I won a baccarat tournament recently.  Though I left with only slightly less than I've got now."  The drug dogs came out.  "The black bag might have hints of explosive," he said quietly.  "I used to work construction.  We had some demolition jobs and that was my gear bag for work."  That got a nod.  "You can transfer and check if it you want."  That got a nod and they did that when the dog hit on it.  They found his real passport and he shrugged.  "I travel under an assumed name.  Your office knows that."

"Why?"

"I'm a member of GHS."  The man looked confused and Xander sighed, leaning on the table.  The Custom's official pushed him off.  "It's a long story.  If you don't like it, get me a chair."  He looked at the immigration official again.  "In truth, GHS members are often kidnaped.  We're a support society for people with a hormone and pheromone condition."  The officials laughed so Xander let his go, making them moan.  "Like I said, I've got a pheromone and hormone condition that makes people want to take me. We're a support organization for those of us afflicted.  This is why people want to take me.  That's why I have a second identity that I travel under.  So that they can't track me home."

The official shook it off.  "Quit whatever you're doing."  Xander shrugged and got up, opening a door to air out the area.  "Thank you."  He stared at him.  "You can use that offensively?"

"If I must. I can't control it very well.  The last one ended up committing suicide because I had him arrested and he realized he couldn't have me."  The Custom's guy moaned at that. "I got my second passport through you guys."

"We have information saying you're helping forge them."

"No, if I was, I wouldn't support myself by gambling," he said dryly. "Do I know how? Yeah.  I do. It's one of those things that might become necessary the next time I'm kidnaped.  If you check with the local PD, they've had to rescue me a number of times.  I'm on a watch list by them for being kidnaped."  The official walked outside to make that call and finish clearing his head.  Xander smiled at the dog handler. "Can I pet him?  I miss my dalmatians and my ferrets."

"Sorry, sir.  It'll go against his training."

"I understand.  I trained mine to guard me."  He shrugged.  "I thought all guys knew what GHS was at his level."

"Apparently not," the Custom's official said, shoving him off the table again.  "Did you have to do that?"

"It proved my point, it was the simplest method without blood work.  So yes. I did."  He glared at him and the man backed off.  The official came back.  "Well?"

"They do have you on a list to watch out for you being kidnaped.  The officer who answered told me all about your organization.  Support organization?"

"Who else is going to understand us?  Yes, the conventions get a bit wild," he admitted.  "We're all hedonists thanks to this condition."  He shrugged.  "I can live on chocolate, yay me."  The official gave him a dirty look.  "Sorry."  He rested his hip against the table and got shoved again.  "He does that again and I'm hitting him," he noted.  The official snorted.  Xander glared at him.  "Think I'm kidding?  I don't like being hit and shoved. I got enough of that from the last person who took me and tried to sell me.  Now, can I go?"

"I'm going to have to confiscate that passport."

"Your office made it."

"If you say so it won't matter.  We'll issue you a new one."  Xander shrugged. "And your other one."

"Yay me.  And?"  He handed them both over and took his wallet back.  "Anything else?  I'm bored now and need my chocolate fix."

"No, sir, nothing else yet.  But we will be in touch."

"Yay.  I've got a lawyer, you can go through him."  He gathered up his bags.

"Not the cash, sir."

"Unfortunately, if you looked, you'd see I left with two bags of cash to go gambling with.  It was noted on the forms the first Custom's official filled out.  You confiscate it over your dead body and with a warrant."  He walked off with his things, getting a trolley once he was inside.  He came back for his last bag, walking off with it.  He headed out to a cab and got in, giving him the address for home.  He got an odd look.  "What?"

"You don't look like you live out there, sir.  They're mostly older."

"Mine's the one with all the trees."  That got a nod and they headed out.  If he needed verification, the neighborhood patrol guys could verify him for the cabbie and others. He paid him from one of the bags and hefted everything inside with his help.  "Thank you."  He smiled. "Have a nice day, Officer."

"You too, Mr. Harris." He looked at him. "How did you afford this?"

Xander laughed.  "I'm a member of GHS.  How do you think I did? I cashed out some gifts."  A new one appeared beside him and he looked, smiling up.  "Thank you.  I needed some chocolate."  He nibbled on it and the cabbie/officer stared at him.  "Demons love me, what can I say?  It's about where I'm from."  That got a nod and he headed out.  His passports and a new box landed beside him, making him smile. "They'll come after me for that."  He opened the box, pulling out the ring. "It's pretty, but Danny and Don still have to agree."  He went to check on his babies, getting frantic squeaks. "Did the other daddies ignore you?  Spot?  Hubert!"  They came in off the front lawn and he pulled out the ferrets to pet them all, getting lovies.  "Daddy brought home treats.  Spot, sniff out the treats."  He went to do that, with his twin, and they drug back the smaller bag.  "Good boys!"  He petted them both and got out the cans of treats, giving them some, the ferrets theirs, and the dragon a new chewtoy, earning a snort of pleasure.  "Good boy, Hubert. Did the daddies take good care of you while I was in Europe?"  That got another pleased snort and they settled in to play and be spoiled by him.  It was great being Xander's pet.

He called Cordy. "I'm back from Europe," he bragged. "Just Monaco.  No, I went to ditch a sniper who was trying to kill me and went to play baccarat.  Yes, the one on the Bond films, Cordy.  Yes, I still have the gay hair.  But now I've got four ferrets, two dogs, and a dragon.  You should come meet them."  He grinned.  "Sure!  Of course I can.  Things going okay out there?  No, Ryan wouldn't let me when I was being taken back.  He didn't want another one to take me after the psycho cult wanted to take out my heart."  Someone pounded on the door.  "Gotta go.  Someone's at the door.  Sure, I'll send plane tickets."  He hung up and got up, going out to answer it.  He noticed the passports were gone again, and so was his wallet.  He opened it to find the Immigration official.  "Problems?"

"Your passport seems to have disappeared, Mr. Harris.  Would you know anything about how that happened?"

"No.  Not a clue.  Maybe one of my fanclub did it?"  He shrugged.  "You had them when I left and I took a cab being driven by one of you guys.  He was there when I walked out and helped me carry things inside."  He waved a hand.  "I'm just now spoiling my pets and having some chocolate."  He pulled some white chocolate out of the freezer and set it to warm up some on the counter.  "Want some when it's warmer?"

"No!  I want to know how you did that."

"I didn't do that.  You can search my things again if you want."  He squatted down to do that while Xander watched, shrugging at his evil glares.  "I told you so."  He got a knife and chipped into the chocolate, letting the dog have a sliver when he came in.  "You're not supposed to have that.  So no more of that tonight.  Stick with the puppy treats I brought you."  He looked at the agent as he nibbled. "Anything else?  Because you losing my passport isn't going to look good when I report you for harassment."  The man stormed out.  He shrugged and took the phone with him back to the living room to go back to petting everyone.  The ferrets wiggled around in the bag, making him happy.  "Awww, did you guys need new toys?" he cooed, pulling some out.  That got him happy animals and he called Horatio.

"Can you warn my boys I'm back and that there's a frothing Immigration official?  Because my passports disappeared from his grasp.  I told him why, he didn't like that.  I even proved I've got the medical condition we all share in the group.   No, he and the Custom's guy hated that even more.  I'm trying.  No, I'm playing with the dogs.  Why?"  He shrugged.  "Why can't I play poker again?"  He sighed.   "Horatio, it was the only way I was getting out of the house most afternoons," he pouted.  "No, I can't find a more worthwhile thing to do.  And hey, look at the money they weren't able to use since you said one was a bad guy."  He grinned.  "Well, it is true.  They couldn't use it if I had it."  He pouted.  "Must I?"  He whined.  "Please?"  He pouted. "Fine.  If I must give up playing poker with them.  No, I'm not.  I'll go back to my old level.  Do I care?  It's how I'm getting out of the house.  Whine, Horatio."  He hung up and went back to petting everyone, then called Fu's, speaking in Mandarin, which he was learning from the waiters.

"It's Xander.  I just found out my boys were following me when I came there.  Can you deliver dinner and my stashes to me?  Wy knows.  Thanks, Fu.  Of course I still love you for dinner, Fu.  You're my favorite chef.  No, I'm being ordered I can't play anymore," he said with a pout.  One of the dogs licked him so he smiled.  "Thank you, Spot.  That was very nice to puppy kiss the daddy."  He gave him another treat and heard the laugh.  "I know, but he's my dog!  He's allowed to lick me like that."  He smiled.  "Thanks.  Yeah, all of them.  No, they told Caine and he's ordering my keeper and protector to keep me from playing in that circle.  So I'll go back to the other one again.  No, they know I go there to play and I don't want to cause you problems the times that they drag me out of there by my hair for being out without a guard.  Thanks, Fu, and promise Wy a good tip.  Thanks."  He hung up and went back to playing.  That way he'd get dinner too.  When the delivery driver showed up a few hours later, he walked out to help him, leaving the ferrets in the living room.  He did tip the driver one of the bundles of cash, he had plenty, and he did like the most expensive things on the menu.  They carried everything in and Wyatt gave him a list of who still owed him, getting a smile and a nod.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, Xander."  He bowed and left, heading back to the restaurant to pay his boss and put the rest away safely for himself.

Xander drug all the money into the practice room then hid it with a simple illusion then went back to playing.  He brought out the dragon treats for Hubert.  Fu loved his baby dragon.

***

Horatio hung up with Xander and looked at Ryan, who he was working with.  "Xander said he'd go back to playing poker at the lesser level."

"I'm sure Don and Danny will yell tonight.  So maybe Eric and I will have a guest."  He shrugged. "Hubert likes our bed too."  The officer with them gave him an odd look. "Hubert's the reptile pet Xander has."

"Oh.  Sure," he agreed, nodding at that.  He'd heard rumors of it around the station.

Ryan looked at Horatio.  "Did he call Fu's to get them to deliver everything else?"

"Why, Mr. Wolfe, it appears there's things I don't know about this poker circle," he said dryly.

"I don't know everything but Xander's favorite place to hang out is Fu's.  He loves Hubert too.  Feeds him all sorts of stuff and he's the guy who keeps track of who owes what.  That's why Xander stashes his poker winnings there.  It's a neutral place in the game circuit."  Horatio smirked at that.  "Plus a few of his waiters are lower level thugs going to school to become higher level, more money oriented thugs."

"Wonderful.  Which waiter does Xander work with?"

"Wyatt.  I think he may be a distant cousin of Danny's by looks."

"Interesting."  He nodded. "We'll have to see who still owes Xander money later then."

Ryan smiled.  "I told him that going into that circuit was a bad idea.  He didn't listen."

"He's being a bit defiant.  He said he'd play in the lower circles again."

"No he won't.  They won't let him.  They hardly ever beat him and two of them still probably owe a lot of money.  Then again, Xander winning at gambling against the drug lords he was playing against did keep them from using that money for their stock."

"It did, and it was much appreciated, but still not a habit Xander should continue," he noted dryly.  The officer looked at him again. "Mr Harris."

"Yeah, and?  How did he get there?"

"He won really high at Vegas and got introduced to the rich people high stakes games," Ryan offered as he took more pictures.  He glanced at him.  "He was winning so much they introduced him to the bigger dogs, who're mostly illegal.  I know one of the major dealers in town owned him about two million about a month or so ago."  The officer gaped.  "It kept them from using it for drug deals and Xander had no idea until just before he left.  Then word got back to Horatio and Horatio informed him of it before sending him to Monaco. What was the Immigration guy's beef?"

"His dual passports."

"Hmm.  They home?"

"Not sure.  He warned me that they were fuming because they had disappeared from his grasp.  Xander was playing with his dogs."

"Danny and Don will straighten him out later and make him make another bank run tomorrow morning."

Horatio smiled. "I would hope so. It's always safer in there.  How much did he win?"

"Six hundred thousand."

"Pocket change?" the officer asked bitterly.

"For him, probably, but he still reads all his receipts and argues over pennies too.  Xander's not from money.  He used to work construction."

"Maybe I should switch professions."

"Maybe someone will make a way for normal people to become GHS," Ryan suggested.

"Bite your tongue, Mr. Wolfe.  They'd hate it after the first week."  Ryan laughed and got to work. "Especially after they realized they needed protection."

"Have they always been around?" the officer asked, looking depressed.  Horatio nodded.  "How long?"

"The group formed in the sixteen hundreds," Horatio offered with a small smile.  "They were all concubines before then and they are now, only now they know they have the right not to be stolen, sold, and castrated."  He shuddered at that.  "Still want to take the shot?"

"Not really.  Thanks anyway, sir."  He went back to watching the people around the scene.

Horatio and Ryan shared a look and a small smile before getting back to work.

***

Danny walked in first and found Xander napping on the couch with the ferrets on his chest.  "Hey, boys and girls.  Let's get back in there for a litterbox break."  He put them back into the cage and shut them in, then petted the dragon, which woke Xander up.  "Welcome home."

"Thanks."  He pulled him down for a kiss.  "Did the big meany immigration guy pounce you?"

"He did.  He's watching the house."  He took another kiss.  "I saw the Chinese."

"Fu's.  He loves Hubert."  He grinned. "Where's Don?"

"Going to bust Fu's."  He smirked when Xander groaned.  "He's doing illegal stuff?"

"No, he keeps track of stuff.  He's a neutral guy."

"I'll make sure Don knows that.  Now, let's go see the winnings, Xander."  Xander sighed and got up, letting the dragon and dogs follow while he called Don.  "He said he's a neutral guy, he only keeps track of stuff, Don.  Yeah, I said I'd tell you."

"Tell him to bring home more dragon treats and to tell him it wasn't my fault."

"He said to bring home more dragon treats and to tell him it wasn't his fault."  He hung up on the snort.  "He said he would if he could."  Xander handed over the original two bags of money.  Danny looked at him. "Are you lying?"

"You'll yell."

"There's probably a good reason if I yell, Xander."

"No there's not.  I was out playing poker, Danny.  It's not like I was committing murder or something."  He sat down with a pout, cuddling his pet.

"Xander," he warned.  Xander gave him a defiant look.  "You want to think about your answer before I spank you?"

"You spank me I'm breaking your hand."

"Okay."  He sat down across from him. "Usually you'd tell us this stuff."

"It's going to come back on me and they're all going to hate me."

"Why do you care what they think?  They're thugs."

"So!  I care what people think about me.  Even thugs.  That makes me care. Yay me."

Danny took a deep breath.  "They're not going to go against you, Xander.  We've had Fu's under watch for the last few weeks."  He shifted closer, watching as Xander moved.  "You done?" he asked coolly.  "You're acting like you've got something to hide."

"I have no idea why you're so upset.  I was playing poker.  It's not like I helped them do that shit."

"No, you didn't.  You also didn't tell us."

Xander looked at him.  "Has it occurred to you if I hadn't gotten the bag you still wouldn't know?"  Danny glared.  "Seriously.  You knew I played games now and then.  Not who I was playing with or anything."

"You're right, I didn't.  You didn't tell us so we could know."

"You never wanted to know."

"Not true."

"I told you and you blew me off."

"It was a story about some guy and his bimbo."

"Yeah, and how he was setting up his bimbo to take the fall for his drug trade, Danny.  I told you that part too.  You still blew me off."  Danny stiffened at that.  "I tried.  You didn't want to hear.  So no, I'm not going to tell you anything about them.  For the very simple reason of yes, I do care what they think about me, and yes, I don't want shot if this ends up coming back to me."

"No one would hurt you."

"They shot at me at the police station!" he said angrily. "I'm not two!"

"You're not," he agreed. "Though you're throwing a temper tantrum."  He stared him down.  "How about this?  The first thing they did was arrest one of the lesser guys who got someone into there."  Xander shrugged.  "It won't lead back to you, Xander."

"It already has.  Fu said so earlier."  Danny stared.  "He did."  He shrugged. "They all know someone was watching me when I went to take my sudden trip.  The same as Fu knew he was being watched.  That's why he sent over so much lo mein.  He had to use it I guess."  He stared at him.  "We all know I'm not part of that life.  I was there to play poker and get out of the house.  They knew that too.  Some of the other guys there were straight."  Danny sighed and nodded at that.  "So no, however you did it, it's still coming back to me.  You still didn't want to listen to me when I had information I wanted to give you, and no, I'm not going to show you what Wyatt brought over today or who else owes me money."

Danny looked at him.  "One of them paid you in drugs."

"Then you're welcome to them and I'll get my money some other way."  He unhid them, making Danny gape in horror.  "What?"  He looked and shrugged.  "It's a lot of money.  I played high stakes.  I played plenty of hands that the beginning bet was over a hundred grand."  He looked at the dogs.  "Find the drugs."  The dogs sniffed and pawed so he moved some of the bags.  They each found one and he pulled those out.  Another was found on the bottom so he pulled that out.  "Good boys!  Go get me the toy!"  They ran off to get him the ball, bringing it back fighting over it.  Danny tossed it, smiling at them.  "They're good dogs."  He searched those bags, dropping the packets of drugs in one onto a pile in front of Danny, then the full bag of drugs was handed over as it was.  "There.  I'll find out tomorrow from Wyatt who those ones were and they'll actually pay me."

"I don't want you going back.  It's dangerous."

"It wasn't before you decided to use me, Danny."

"They're bad guys."

"I know that.  I tried to tell you that.  You still didn't listen.  Now, get the drugs out of the house. I don't want them here."  He summoned the phone and threw the ball for the dogs, smiling at the answer.  "Hi, Fu.  Who paid me in drugs?  Yeah, well, let them know I'm not happy and since I'm dating two cops, they've got them.  They're paying me or else I'm giving over their names.  Yeah, I'm serious.  We all know I'm straight. Thank you.  Speaking of, lo mein?"  He smiled.  "Thanks, man.  Sure, I could use it."  He hung up and went to play with the dogs, making them happy puppies and the dragon happy when Wyatt came back with his book and the rest of his order.  "Got stuck?"

"Kitchen fire.  We didn't know what your boys wanted."  He nodded at Danny and handed Xander his list, sitting beside him on the floor.  "That's who paid you in drugs, that's also who left drugs."

"Hmm, they didn't find some."

"I'm going to search and do a count," Danny said firmly.

"Get the other ones out of here and let Horatio do that," Xander ordered.  "I don't want them in my house.  I hate drugs."  Danny nodded, going to take them in and sending Eric to find the others.  He handed over the list.  "We found the cocaine."

"Sure."  He went in there with the dogs to teach them those scents too.  He had found out how to from the K-9 corps.  They thought it was a good idea and they heard Spot was partially trained already. He came out with a larger baggie. "I should confiscate the bags they were hidden in."

Wyatt looked at him.  "Mostly they were samples and temptations, or they forgot and left some in there from their personal use stash," he offered.  "Only one paid him in drugs and Detective Messer had it."

Eric looked at him.  "You look like Danny."

"I'm his cousin. That's why I agreed to handle Xander's debt book when asked.  He's family."  He shrugged.  "Anything else, Detective?"  That got a head shake.  "Then I will tell you this, as I was ordered.  We at Fu's are neutral.  We keep track of who owes what.  There's nothing illegal in that.  The same as we store things for people.  Even Xander only stores money with us.  Even the General only stores money with us.  We're like an odd bank for the gaming circuits."  Eric nodded at that.  "Thank you for passing that back.  The General should've held his tongue.  We knew Xander was going to tell on him.  Unfortunately no one listened sooner before his former girl went down for the deal and died."  He walked off, going to tell his boss what he had said by giving him the tape.  He made some calls on Xander's behalf, pointing out that he was back, he wanted the rest of what he was owed since his boyfriends were making him withdraw from the circle.  And to not pay him in drugs because he hated drugs and he was going to turn in any drugs he found.  It got a clear message sent to someone. Then he let himself be questioned when Xander's other boyfriend and the other detective came in.

***

Horatio looked outside when he saw the corvette pull in.  "Officer Kyle, please help the idiot GHS member into my office please?" he said lightly.

"Yes, Lieutenant."  He went to do that, getting swatted.  Horatio rolled his eyes and went to meet him up there.  He saw him limping.  "What did you do this time?"

"I was trying to jog and I tripped over a squirrel."  He sat down with a sigh and handed over a bag.  "That got sent for you to my house.  It's from Tumie."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I told Danny, he wasn't listening."

"I can guarantee you that won't happen again," Horatio assured him. He sat behind his desk, nodding the officer out while he opened the bag.  He looked at the files, pulling the first one out to look over, then he smirked.  "Well.   Interesting.  I'll have to send him a thank you note."  He looked at Xander.  "You could have come to me."

"You have enough to worry about, Horatio.  Including Danny."

"Point.  I still would have listened."  Xander shook his head.  "You think not?"

"I started to tell the same story at dinner one night and you and Frank gave me dirty looks for talking about the poker circle."  He stood up.  "I only came to drop that off since it felt like files.  Anything else?"

"Next time I'll listen, Xander."

Xander shrugged. "What does it matter?  Now they're going to try to kill me because it still led back to me, Horatio."  He walked off, heading down to the car.  He hated that he healed slower than everyone other immortal he knew.  He had only broken his ankle.  It had already been two hours and it hadn't healed yet.  He headed home, going to figure out what he wanted to do. Then he decided to head out to the farm. He went to find his horses.  He found the former owners were doing a wonderful job.  He had given them a bag of the cash for daily expenses and told them to do whatever needed to be done.  He didn't care about a profit.  They had painted everything and repaired a few fences, then expanded the garden some.  He parked and got out, heading to the stable, nodding at the stablehands.  They all smiled at him.

He petted Ryan's two mares.  They were both drowsy so he left them alone and went down to a stall on the end.  The foal had been left with them when the family decided to adopt him.  He was getting big!  He gave him a few carrots from the pail beside the door, making him a happy colt.  "You're a good boy," he soothed, getting nuzzled.  He smiled and let him have another one.   Then he went to check on his horse.  No one realized he had one.  Ryan thought the family owned him and he had never corrected him.  He walked him out to brush him, checking his feet and the stall. It was perfectly clean.  He smiled at his boy.  "Hey, wanna go for a ride?"  His stallion nuzzled him so he smiled and got his tack.  He stood still for him.  He got a lead line for the colt too.  He waved at the wife as he led them outside, getting a nod and a smile.  He liked to take the colt out.  He learned by example of the bigger horses.  He mounted using the fence to get high enough.  His Arabian was eighteen and three quarters hands tall at the shoulder.  He was a big boy.  He settled himself and unhooked the lead line from the saddle, then leaned down to open the fence into the paddock.

The foal kicked up a bit, wanting to play, but he settled down to ride with them.  It was a pretty day for a ride.  Even if the weathermen had said it was going to rain.

***

Frank looked over as a sulky Danny walked in.  "Ray wanted to know if you guys were going riding this weekend with him, Ryan, and Xander."

"I'm not sure Xander likes me at the moment. He claims he tried to tell me and I didn't listen."

"Did you?"

"I don't remember the story he was talking about."

"Then you probably didn't. I tune out my wife now and then too.  She babbles nearly as much as your boy when she's happy."  He shrugged.  "That's why I had to be reminded of my nephew's christening.  My sister adopted."  Danny smiled at that.  "Where is the boy now?  I'd suggest apologizing."

"So would I but he's not at home."

"Maybe he's off with his horse."

"He doesn't have a horse, Frank."

"Yeah he does.  He wanted my opinion on buying a saddle that matched the horse's hair or coordinating and did I think purple went well with black."  Danny moaned.  "So apparently he does have a horse."

Danny walked off.  "Wolfe, did my boy buy a horse?" he demanded just a bit loudly.

Ryan shrugged.  "The people who used to own the farm and run it for him now have a black Arabian they own that Xander rides now and then.  Plus they adopted that colt but he's at least a year from being ridden."

Danny moaned and smacked himself on the head.  "I doubt they bought a horse with their daughter still so sick, Wolfe."

"Oh, then Xander owns a really pretty black Arabian stallion who's eighteen and three quarters hands tall. Nearly mutant tall really.  He goes out and takes the colt with him all the time to show him how big horses act.  He treats the colt a lot like a baby now and then really."  He smiled.  "We're going riding this weekend with Ray and Adam if you wanted to come."

"No, I think I want to spank."

"You do and he'll leave," Ryan said simply, getting back to work.

"Did you know who he was playing poker with?"

"Adam did.  He went to him for advice. He's the one who suggested Xander tell you the story."  He glanced over at him, seeing the horrified look.  "Adam's probably had to run in those circles in the past," he said quietly.

"Probably.  Why doesn't he talk to me? Or Don?  Don lets him babble at him all day on his days off."

"He has to, neither of you listen when you get home. Xander knows not to tell me anything that'll make me upset.  He knows I'll do something about it.  He learned that long ago when we were taken together and he told me some of the guys in the marketplace were picking on   him about being who he is.  And I went and got into a fight.  So no, he doesn't tell me those things.  He tells them to you guys because you guys supposedly love him."  He glanced over again and Danny stormed off.  "Good.  Maybe he got the point," he muttered, going back to checking the photos for clues.

***

Danny parked and got out at the farm, looking up at the sky.  It was getting dark.  He saw the husband on the porch. "He still out?"

"Yup, but the foal came back a few hours ago trailing his line with a note of 'he's fine, just tired from the heat'."  He looked at him then shrugged.  "Maybe his dogs could track him for you?  Make sure he's all right?  His horse is a bit high strung now and then.  Sound shy during storms."

"Yeah, maybe."  He called Don.  "Bring Spot out to the farm. Xander's not back yet.  Thanks."  He hung up and went to look at the foal for clues.  The brush had some twigs but nothing else.  There was a lot of trees that looked like that if he remembered right.  He looked down at the nudge, finding the dragon.  "Why are you here?"  He looked up to see Don.  "Couldn't find the dogs?"

"They're in the car.  Where's Xander?"

"Not back yet."  He picked up the dragon.  "Let me get one of Ryan's mares."

"You sure we should without asking?"

He called him.  "Wolfe, Xander's not back in yet, we're going riding looking for him.  Yes, that means I'm borrowing yours."  The colt nuzzled the dragon, who nuzzled back so he let them play together for now.  "Thanks."  He hung up. "He'll be right out.  You go with him?"

"You sure?  You can go. You ride better than I do.  You're also more worried.  Xander can handle a little storm, Danny."

"His horse is a bit high strung, doesn't like storms."

"Oh.  Okay.  Then you and Ryan go out because you two need to talk.  He and I talked."  Danny gave him a dirty look.  "He didn't want me to get in trouble by going to hit the guy so he told you instead.  It was Adam's suggestion.  Plus I do things with him on my days off.  He thinks you don't like him anymore."  He went to get the dogs out of the car, smiling and waving when Ryan pulled in. "He's in there letting the dragon play with the colt."

"He'll be a pretty ride when he's older," Ryan admitted, walking in there with the dogs behind him.  He pulled out one of his mares, letting Danny get the other one. "You remember how to do this?"

"Did it in my youth but horses always hated me."  He got his saddled up and put a bridle on her, no matter how much she hated him doing it.  "I know, he can ride you without one.  I can't."  He climbed up and they headed out with the dogs.  Don let them into the pasture and waved.  "You sure?"

"Definitely, I'm going to stay dry in case you need me."  He went back inside to play with the dragon and the colt.

Ryan looked at the dogs.  "Hunt the daddy down!  Hunt the daddy!"  They took off running after a sniff of Danny's horse.  They trotted after them.  They were good dogs.  "They're still very well trained."

"If he's not in trouble, I'm going to scream," Danny told him.

"You do that, he's going to come live with Eric and I again tonight."  Danny glared at him. "Did you think he spent it on Horatio's couch?  He's not thrilled with him either at the moment.  If Ray had a spare room, he'd have went there."  They walked their horses over a fallen log.  The dogs yipped and he smiled.  They had found a strong trail.  They followed it, finding a stream with a horse napping beside it and Xander napping beside him.  The horse moved to get in their way.  "Shh, baby.  We're here to wake the Xander up. There's a storm coming.  We know you don't like them."  The horse still got in his way.  He dismounted and the soft nose sniffed him then gave him a nudge away.

Danny got down and walked around him, ignoring his tries to protect his boy.  "Don't even," he said when the horse nearly knocked him over.  "He's mine."  The horse backed off with the help of the dogs and Ryan grabbing his reins.  He watched his boy sleep.  He looked so young!  He knelt beside him and kissed him.  "Hey."  Xander blinked up at him. "There's a storm coming and you've been gone for hours. I should yell that you fell asleep out here."

"I'm safe here."

"You're not safe here.  There's no wards here, Xander.  Nothing to protect you if something were to happen."  Xander pointed at the fairy ring next to him and he sighed. "Fine, there's magical protections and you probably made friends with them.  You still need to come home so we can talk."

"If you're going to leave me, just leave already.  Quit drawing it the fuck out."

Danny gave him a look. "I'm not leaving."

"You seem like it."

"I'm not leaving," he said firmly.  "You're mine, Xander.  Even if I need a vacation I'm still not leaving you."  He hauled him up.   "I'm not like that."

"How would I know?"  He kept himself from sneering.  "All I know is that you never seem to give a damn anymore.  What else was I supposed to think."  A fairy flew up and he smiled, letting her land on his hand.  "We're all right, just having a small fight.  We'll have it at home so we don't disturb the colony."  She smiled and nodded, flying off.  "Give me a leg up, Ryan?  The stump's rotted and it cracked under me last time." Ryan helped him back up and he settled into the saddle, looking at his dogs.  "Come on, guys, lets go for a run."  He walked his horse off in the other direction.  "Tell them we'll be home in the morning, I'm camping."

"You're coming home, Xander. It's going to storm," Ryan protested.

"I can camp in storms too."  He trotted off, letting his horse break into a canter, an easy lope covering the ground.  He knew these woods and knew where he was going.

"Crap," Ryan complained, getting up onto his horse.

"Go," Danny ordered.  "We need ta talk apparently."  Ryan gave him a look.  "I'm sure.  Go."  Ryan nodded and turned, trotting back, enjoying his ride.  Danny looked at the horse.  "I know, you don't like me much."  He climbed back up.  "Let's go after my idiot boy."  The horse stood there.  "After the boy and the dogs."  He kneed it gently and it walked off.  He encouraged her to go faster.  He heard one of the dogs bark and the horse sped up at that.  "Good, someone else who was trained to be protective of my boy."  He held on when the horse jumped and that was all he needed to do really.  He found Xander jumping a fence and whimpered.  His mare jumped too.  "Can you quit that?" he called at his lover.

"Go home, Danny, I can camp."  The dogs ran ahead.  "Left," he called.  They turned left.  He smiled and headed with them, letting his horse pick his own path.  He knew where he was going.  There was an old house out here that was abandoned but still mostly standing.  He'd camped out here before. The dogs found it and barked so he slid off his horse when they got there, taking off his saddle so he could get comfortable.  He rolled around for a minute then went to nibble on the grass in the late sunshine next to the building.  Xander headed inside once he had some wood for a fire.  His canteen was filled earlier so he had water.  He settled in to get comfortable, playing with and checking the dogs for injuries.  He heard Danny pull up and sighed, looking at his dog.  "I don't know why he followed," he muttered.  They went out to greet the daddy, playing in the drops of rain that were following.  Xander went to get the horses and bring them inside, both horses shaking themselves dry.  He settled down in front of the fire again once they were comfortable and he had gathered some of the long grass from the pasture.  He took off his shirt, letting it dry on Danny's saddle.

Danny sat across from him.  "Now that we're stranded, can we talk?"

"I did."

"Okay, then let me talk."  He looked at him for a few minutes.  "I'm not leaving. I don't know where you got that idea but I don't leave people, Xander. I never have."  Xander looked at him. "Yes, I've been tired recently.  Crime's been hell and Horatio's been moping since his family is gone.  Speed's been helping him so we've covered for them.  All of us are tired and a bit cranky.  Even Frank.  That's why lunch last time wasn't as happy as usual.  I'm sorry I didn't listen.  I should have.  I know that."

"You're always tired."

"I'm not."

"You are.  You're always tired, you're coming home and drinking.  You're always a bastard every night and most mornings."  Danny slumped at that.  "Is it me?  Am I too much work again?"

"No. This has nothing to do with you.   Yes, I could probably use a vacation."

"I spent two weeks away!" he complained.

"I know you did.  I worried the whole time you were gone."

"You can't have it both ways, Danny.  You know that."  He got up to settle his horse down when the first crash of lightening went off.  He knew he was fussy about storms.  He ended up letting him back out before he reared or ran into the fire.  He watched him work off his nervousness.  When he came back he used his shirt to wipe him down.  "I know, storms aren't good to your native herds," he soothed.  His horse calmed down and Ryan's horse nibbled his sleeve so he gave her some attention too.

Danny came over to help, using his shirt to wipe down Xander's horse with him so Xander could spoil and fuss.  "There are times when you and trouble are like boys and mud, magnetically drawn to each other," he said finally.  "I don't like that.  That's why I worried while you were gone.  That someone from that circle would come after you or that you'd get stolen again where we couldn't help.  Then you came home and things got exposed a bit more and I got angry."  Xander looked at him.  "I did."

"I noticed.  Then you came to bed drunk a few times and I went to sleep on the couch."

"And at Ryan's."

"No that was last night."  He finished rubbing them both down, making two content horses.  He went outside and brought in some more armfuls of grass for them, making them happy too.  He looked at Danny.  "Do you really think I'm that stupid and naive?"

"Sometimes. It seems like you blunder into things that no one else can."

"No, others can.  Greg nearly got taken as the consort of a drug lord last week."  Danny groaned.  "No one realized he needed help even when he hinted strongly when he ran into someone in public.  Catherine finally recognized him and sent up an alarm.  They found him tied to a chair in his house and higher than hell because he had injected him with stuff."  Danny shuddered. "And they yelled at him."

"I see the moral."  He looked at him.  "Greg okay?"

"He's fine now.  They still think he's an idiot boy too."

Danny glared at him.  "Now and then, you do manage to do that, Xander."  Xander sat down and went back to tending the fire.  He looked at him and got the point.  "Where were you and who found you?"

"Frank found me and I was verbally swatting at the idiot.  See, true idiots have no brains and they do stupid things. I went to the grocery store.  Oh, Frank knows about immies.  He found me healing.  He had stabbed me in the arm and I was still healing."

"Excuse me?  Where was I?"  Xander shrugged and looked at him.  "You don't know where I was?"

"I have no clue where any of you were.  Then again, I have no idea why Frank was there."  He threw another few sticks onto the fire.  He settled in to peel one. "I wanted the quiet tonight, Danny. I need to think."

"You've had plenty.  Now it's time to talk."  He sat down across from him again, watching as the animals gathered around him.  "I feel like they're going to kick my ass if I upset you."

"Ryan trained his horse to watch over me if he was gone.  We had to do some mild camping when he stole me back over there.  The dogs were trained by me to guard me.  I know I need it."  He smiled at his horse. "He's naturally protective.   His whole kind are. They've guarded their people over the centuries in the desert."  He looked at Danny again.  "There are days when I wish Don was that protective."

"He is.  You don't let him protect you.  We've been trying and you push us aside."

"No, you've been trying to chain me to the house again.  Big difference, Danny."  He gave him a heated look across the fire. "There is."

"It's not our intention.  We're trying to protect you.  It's not like we can quit our jobs to be with you all the time."

"I never asked you to.  I did ask you to find me someone for days when I felt the need to get out of the house.  He never followed through."

"He was shot in his house by a guy breaking in," he said quietly.

"See, I didn't know that."

Danny slumped and rubbed his face.  "Why are you making this more difficult?"

"I'm not.  I'm pointing out things here, Danny. We don't communicate.  Ever.  You never told me the guy had gotten shot.  I thought he decided not to take the job.  I try to talk to you and you don't listen.  Don has football ear, he's listening to the game and listening for key words when I talk to him. I feel like I'm talking to statues when I talk to you two.  My horse listens better than either of you do.  Hell, Eric listens better and he's tired of me at the moment because he wants Ryan to his and only his again."  He slumped over, going back to peeling his stick.  He heard Danny move.  "You walk out of here, you move out," he said coldly.  Danny swatted him.  "Get off."  Danny sat down next to him.  "You've made yourself pretty clear, Messer.  Very, very clear.  I'm a burden to you."

"You're not."

"Yeah, I am to you.  Since the day Horatio decided you had the better chance of helping me, you've seen me as a burden.  Someone to rehabilitate and send back into the wilds again like some animal that got freed from a private collector's zoo."  He felt the hand stroking his back and flinched away.  Then he yelped when his hand and the fire met.  He blew on it, cooling it down, going outside to stand in the rain for a while.  It would heal, just like his leg had when he had broken it by tripping over the squirrel.  He watched it heal.  It was still too slow for some reason.  "I should go through a metal detector, see if someone shot me or something," he muttered.  Danny pulled him back inside to look at his hand.  "I'm fine."

"You're not fine.  You're injured and you're healing too slow.  You're right, you should be checked over.  I'll have Sheldon do it tomorrow night after their ME's shift."  He sat him down again and sat behind him, working on the tense shoulders.  "I'm not going to hurt you," he said when Xander didn't relax.

"Bullshit."

"I'm not.  Even on the days I want to spank you I don't.  I manage not to."  He went back to work, then ended up tickling him to make him relax.  The horses got away from the flaming stick he kicked across the stone floor so Danny went to toss it back onto the fire.  It had been his fault.  He got behind Xander again, trying to calm him down.  "I'm not going to hurt you," he said quietly.  "I'm not like that, Xander."

"Again, how would I know?"

"I yell, I don't hit my boyfriends or girlfriends.  Now, would you please relax!"  Xander relaxed finally, making him study him.  "What happened to your hair?  It's shorter."

"It's how I pulled it up today."  Danny pulled it down.  "Don't trust me?"

"Seeing if that's why you're healing so slowly."  He found the broken spot, looking at it.  Then at his boyfriend.  He looked at his back, palpitating slowly across it.  He found the spot he wanted and took the bullet out with his pocket knife, ignoring the hisses and swats.  It healed much faster.  He found another few spots. "When were you shot in the back?"  Xander shrugged. "You don't remember dying?"

"No."  He looked back.  "Did I?"

"Yeah, probably."  He pulled out a last one and put them into his pocket, then he checked his hand. It was healed finally.  His back was finishing healing the last two spots.  It was as it should be mostly.  He found another spot that annoyed him and felt it, finding a lump.  "What's that?"

"Been there for years."

"Doesn't mean it's not dangerous."

"It's not.  The doctor said it's a swollen gland or something.  With my luck that's what made me GHS."

Danny gave his head a look, considering swatting it.  "It's not."  He used his thumbs to feel it, moving it between them. "It's not connected."  He pulled out his pocket knife and Xander flinched away from him.  "Let me, it could be something serious."  Xander sighed and let him check it by cutting open a small piece of skin.  Xander hissed and flinched more but that was all right.  He found the knot and looked at the pale growth.  It wasn't normal tissue.  He cut it out and let him see it, getting a confused look.  "That's not normal tissue, Xander."

"So it's a growth.  It's not going to kill me, right?"

"No, probably not," he agreed.  "It might make you die though."  He patted down Ryan's saddle bag, coming out with a small baggie.  He checked it then he put the growth in there with the bullets.

"Thank you but I'm fine."

"I know you are.  You have been so far.  How long have you had that?"

"Ten...no, just after I started hunting it swelled.  The doctor said he had noticed a small thing there before but this clearly wasn't dangerous."

"Bet me!  It could've been cancerous."

"Danny...."

"Xander, you wouldn't have turned if you had died of cancer.  Only a violent death."  Xander slumped forward.  Danny watched him.  He could have lost him a long time ago.  It  put things into perspective.  "Now and then you make me feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone, ya know that?"  He pulled Xander back against his chest.  "That and you attract trouble like no one else.  It's frustrating now and then."  He gave him a cuddle, moving their feet so they wouldn't be near the fire.  He looked down and found Xander asleep in his arms.  No, he was wrong, he wasn't breathing.  He checked his back, the lump was back.  He woke up and Danny held him, shhing him until he calmed down again.  "How many times has that happened in recent memory?"

"I don't keep track of it," Xander said tiredly.

"When did it start?"

"Probably a few days after I got back."

"Uh-huh."  He felt him go again and got up, looking him over.  He drug Xander away from the fire and listened to his chest.  His heart wasn't beating right.  He looked outside, it had quit raining.  He called Sheldon.  "Can you come to where we are with a kit and a metal detector, a hand held one?  No, Xander's dying repetitively."  He nodded. "Let me check his GPS thing on his watch."  He got into that function and read it off.  "We're a few miles from the farm.  No, we're talking.  I removed five already, Sheldon.  Yeah, please."  Xander gasped and woke up. "Shh, Sheldon's on his way."  Xander nodded. "What's the easiest way to get here?"

"Go to the old rusted gate on the same road the farm's on and head through it for about a mile."  He winced as he got up.  "I can give him a ride."

"No, I'll take your horse and give him a ride in.  Which way?"  Xander pointed. "Okay, you stay here and do whatever.  Be there soon, Doc."  He hung up.  "One of them apparently loosened earlier when I was removing one or when you were jumping the fences."  He looked at Xander's horse, then shrugged.  "You and me, big guy.  Sorry."  He got him resaddled.  Then put his bridle on and used a former windowsill to climb up high enough to get into the saddle.  He walked him off, heading the way Xander had pointed.  He found Sheldon parked and worked to get the gate open, letting him drive inside and park, then they got the gate closed together and he helped Sheldon up onto the horse behind him.  "Xander's," he said.

"He's pretty.  What sort is he?"

"Arabian." He walked him back. "I removed five of them, Doc, all from his back.  He claims he doesn't know when they happened.  I also removed a small growth from his back.  It grew back when he died."

"I'm guessing that would happen.  What did it look like?"

"It's in the bag with the bullets."  That got a nod and he walked them into the building, letting him slide down first before he slid down and got the horse unsaddled again.  "Thanks for this."

"I was bored tonight anyway.  All my stuff's finally unpacked and there's nothing on tv."  He pulled out a stethoscope and frowned. "He's gone again."  He pulled out the metal detector and got to work, marking the places where the others were.  "Someone went in for overkill," he offered when he found three more.  He got to work taking the one in his head out first.  It made him quit dying.  The one in his shoulder was a bit more tricky but it came out.  The one in his ankle he popped it out like a zit once he had made a deep enough incision.  Xander came back to life and his healing factor took over, making them all happier.  He dropped the bullets into the bag, looking at the growth.  "Where was that?"

"Middle of his back."  He helped Xander sit up so he could show him. "There. That lump."

Sheldon felt it. "It's probably not harmful. I know it's not spreading now. It's an unusual shape but it should be fine, Danny."  Danny nodded.  He looked around.  "Is this part of the farm?"  Xander shook his head.  "Trespassing?"

"No one owns here.  It's a nice place to camp.  I wanted quiet but Danny got pushy."

"As proven by your poker circle, your instincts lead you into trouble, Xander," Sheldon said patiently.  "They really do."  He patted him on the cheek with a smile.  "The next time your instincts are telling you to play with someone, go do something else."

"They weren't a problem until Horatio decided to bust them."

"I'm sure.  Doesn't matter.  They were a danger if only because drug dealers aren't always mentally stable and they could have shot you across the table for winning."  He stood up and looked at him.  "Now, you two need to talk.  I'll drop this with Horatio so he can have Calleigh run them tomorrow."  He saw the grimace.  "Next time, don't play with thugs."

"I didn't know I was.  I thought I was playing with rich, bored people like me," he defended at the stereo snorts of disbelief.

"Teach Stella, Xander.  She could use the help in poker."   He walked off.  "Which way, Danny?"  He got pointed at.  "Thanks."  He headed off, taking it to his car.  It was a pretty night for a walk.  The humidity had cleared with the storm.  He heard a plane and looked up, frowning.  Danny would hear and handle it while he got back to the station.  Or Horatio's.  He called him once he was back on the road.  "Horatio, it's Sheldon.  Where should I meet you to give you the bullets Danny and I pulled out of Xander?"  He heard the gasp.  "Had me on speaker?"  He smiled.  "No, I'm down the road from the farm.  Apparently Danny chased after him while he wanted some time off from them."  He listened to what Speed had noticed over the last few weeks.  "Horatio, he still blames you for making them go after him.   No, but I did hear a plane landing somewhere nearby.  Sure, I can wait here.  Iron gate down past the farm.  Yeah."  He hung up and shrugged, going back to the gate to wait.  Horatio and Speed pulled up in a hummer, so he let them have the bag.  "I heard a plane land."

"Danny said the same thing.  Could you tell direction?"  Sheldon pointed.  "There's no airstrip that way."

"Census lists another farm then it goes to swampland," Speed offered, looking at the bag.  He pulled out the scanner for bullets and ran the first one, wiping the blood off it.  He counted.  "Eight?"

"He didn't know when it started.  He said a few weeks ago maybe."  Sheldon looked at him.  "I think it's retaliation for the busts of the poker ring."

"Probably true," Horatio agreed.  "Let's take your car, Sheldon. It's less noticeable than an official hummer.  Speed?"

"I can do this."  Horatio nodded and headed off with Sheldon.  Speed found a gun match to the first one and printed it, bagging the bullet by itself with that.  Then he moved on.  After the third one he came to a small bit of tissue.  He frowned and put it into the analyzer, coming up with 'brain tissue, human'.  He blinked and left that alone for now.  The other bullets mostly had matches too and known users that hadn't been touched before.  He called Horatio, but didn't get an answer.  That meant he was watching something.  So he texted the results to Calleigh, getting a 'wtf' back from Eric.  He sent the information files to the lab.  Then he called him.  "Go in.  I've just sent ballistic runs from the back of H's hummer.  No, they took them out of Xander.  He said he's been dying off and on for the last few weeks, Eric.  Yeah, that does, and there's some familiar names."

He hung up and went to look at the tissue.  There was something wrong with it being in the bag.  Sheldon wouldn't have removed more than he needed to.  He was too good for that.  He called Danny.  "Where did the tissue sample come from?"  He listened.  "No, it's brain tissue.  Maybe we should."  He hung up and went back to analyzing it.  It did come back abnormal.  There was only one reason for that.  Xander had a brain tumor and it had spread before he died.  He texted that to Alexx.  She could tell them more when she made him go in for tests.  By the time Horatio called in officially for backup, he had everything almost put away.  So it was easier for him to follow and help stop the drug dealers who had landed.  When they were all carted off, he stopped Sheldon and Horatio.  "The tissue sample in the bag was brain tissue."

"That means he had a tumor that was metastisizing."  Sheldon frowned.  "We need to scan him now.  Could it still be spreading?  Danny said that lump he took out grew back the last time he died."

"The better question, is this why he does stupid shit," Speed told him.  "Could it be hitting his impulse control center?"  Horatio moaned and nodded.  "Then we definitely need to deal with that."

"We do," Horatio agreed.  "Can we get them?"

"They've got two horses and both dogs," Sheldon told him. "Danny will make him go."

"I told Alexx," Speed told them.  They both smiled.  "He'll go first thing in the morning."  That got a nod.  "The real problem, will it grow back too?"

"Maybe not as large," Sheldon offered.  "The new lump didn't seem as large as the old one.  I don't know why since aging stops for us."

"Not a clue either.  We can ask later," Horatio offered.  "Tomorrow, first thing.  Right?" They nodded.  "Good.  We'll tell Danny that.  Any matches?"

"All eight."  He smiled.  "I texted Calleigh and got Eric.  Eric's livid that the kid didn't realize it."  He walked off, heading back to the hummer.

Horatio looked at Sheldon.  "Want to join us tomorrow?"

"I would.  I want to see the scans."

"That's fine.  We'll go after breakfast.  I'm sure she'll have us in there before then."  They walked off together, going back to the station to do some paperwork, get the reports and let the lab officially analyze the tissue sample they already had.  It would tell them a lot before the morning.

***

Danny drug Xander into the station.  "I'm not going!"

"You are and quit fighting or I'm drugging you," he ordered.  The guard gave him an amused look.  "I found a lump."  The elevator was gotten and they headed for the morgue since Alexx had what she needed to do it herself down there.  She strapped Xander down and put him through the machine personally.  They all winced at the sight of the tumor.

"It is pressing on the impulse control center," Sheldon agreed.

"Hmm. So maybe it's why he does stupid shit," Speed agreed.  "Could it be why his hormones finally came out?"

"We know from him he was doing stupid things in Sunnydale," Ryan told him, looking at it.  "How big is that?"

"Looks about six centimeters across," Horatio offered.  "We also know he was always a demon magnet there.  The hunting probably kept some of it down with the stress of his life.  His hormones drew the rest."  That got some nods.  They all knew why Xander drew demons.  Ryan had even seen it.  "Now what?"

"Now, we remove that, see if it grows back the same size," Sheldon told him, going down there to help.  "We'll have to trim his hair."

Strife appeared, then looked at him. "You can't ask?"

"Would you please remove the brain tumor he's got?" Sheldon requested politely.  "It's pressing on his impulse control center, Lord Strife."  Strife grinned and nodded behind him as another one appeared and came over.  Then the tumor hit his hand.  "Thank you, Lord Apollo."

"Welcome, dude. He's livening up our boring retirement too."  He shrugged and smiled at Alexx.  "If you weren't married," he sighed.

"Yes, but I am," she said patiently, giving him a look.  "Thank you, Apollo."

"Welcome, babe."  He blew a kiss and left.

Strife looked at her.  "He tries it with every woman he meets and most men."  He grinned.  "It won't be as big if it does.  No, we don't know why it grows back now and then.  It's a Xander thing."

"Probably from the hellmouth?"

"Could be," Strife agreed.  "Probably from leaving it though.  It hates when its babies leave."   He disappeared.

Sheldon put the tumor into the tray she held out then they checked him over.  He was awake and healed so they ran him back through the CT machine.  This time it was much smaller.  They smiled at each other.  "Guys."  They put up the new image.

"Even better," Horatio agreed.  "Let's pull some bloodwork and test that, all right?  Especially if it had anything to do with him being shot again."  He walked off, going to think.  His actions had gotten Xander hurt.  He had promised to not let it come back on him.  He was in full brood when Speed walked in and swatted im on the arm.  "What?"

"It's not your fault they decided it was his fault. You and I laid it out so it didn't come back to him.  Except for the immigration thing.  So get over it.  Even if he is pouting at you. Maybe he'll see sense now."  He heard his phone ring and pulled it out. "Speedle."  He listened, then winced.  "Damn it, sorry, Alexx.  Um, let his boys have a closet?"  He hung up on her yelling.  "He spiked like Don on that air."  Horatio moaned.  "We've got to handle that."

"Go.  I'll be right down."  He nodded, going to help with that.  Horatio gathered himself together and went to help, getting run into by Rick again.  "What now?"

"You were doing surgery in the morgue?"

"No.  We didn't cut him open.  Simply looked at the brain tumor that had been exposed.  Anything else?  He's just now spiked.  We knew electromagnetic machines were dangerous for him."

"That's for dead people."

"Can you imagine what would've happened if he had done this in the hospital?"  Rick's face was comical. "Exactly.  That's why we did this here.  As for the removal, it wasn't done surgically."  He headed down there at a fast trot when he saw some others heading that way.  "Back to work!" he ordered.  That got a groan but most of them went.  He put the others in a room, opened a window to get them some air, then shut all the blinds.  He walked into the morgue, seeing Alexx fanning herself.  "You all right, Alexx?"

"I'm fine but if he does that every day, how are they able to work, Horatio?"

"They keep it down so it doesn't back up, Alexx.  The tumor was keeping him at a lower output apparently."  She gave him a horrified look.  "Where are they?"

"Eric shoved Xander and his boys into a closet and followed with Ryan.  There's no way they'll be working today."  Ryan wobbled out and sat down next to the window, huffing the fresh air.  "Are you all right?"

"A bit lightheaded," he admitted.  She got him some oxygen.  "Thanks," he said through the mask.  He looked at Horatio. "How often do we have to do this?"

"Probably every few years," she offered. He groaned.  "Next time we'll plan it better, baby."  She went to check on them, smelling blood.  "What are you doing?"  Xander growled and slammed the door. "Uh-huh.  Horatio, do you all go primal?"

"No, not usually.  That is definitely something that's Xander specific."  He called Mac.  "Can you send Stella to cover for Ryan, Eric, and Danny for a few hours?  Thank you.  No, long story.  I'll tell you tonight when I brief everyone else."  He hung up and looked around.  "Sheldon?"

"You shoved him in that room," Frank called, leaning in.  "Can I send the rest off?"

"Please, Frank.  We removed a tumor from Xander and it made him surge."

"Hell, no wonder there's an orgy in the interrogation room."  He went to send everyone else off and call the Chief.   "Sir, it's Detective Tripp.  No, part of Caine's team is down.  Not that way, sir. No, due to Xander's issues they brought him down here to scan a tumor on him.  They removed it somehow and it made him surge.  I don't know, sir.  I'm not in the room of officers affected who're having at it or in the closet with the rest of them. Exactly.  No, I know he called Taylor.  Probably a short nap.  Yeah, I'm sure he'll brief you later, sir."  He hung up and leaned in again.  "Horatio, the boss wants a call.  I told him you'd called Taylor and most of them would probably only need a nap."

"They shouldn't need more than that," Horatio agreed.  Xander wobbled out and sat down beside Ryan, taking his oxygen to breathe too.  "Xander, are you all right?"  He looked up and grinned, then put his head on Ryan's shoulder and passed out.  Horatio looked in the closet.  "Well."  Alexx looked and giggled. Everyone else was asleep too, mostly with their pants down.  He moved in there to help them, then left the closet door open so they could get fresh air.  The orgy finally broke up an hour later and he let them use the ME's locker room to clean up.  Most of them looked sheepish but Sheldon looked stunned and a few officers looked like they were The Man now.  He gave them looks and they went to do something sedate so they wouldn't get in trouble or create more hell.  He went to wake the ones in the closet, finding Danny wincing as he moved.  "Sore?"

"Very.  Xander's a damn beast when he surges."  He stood up with help from Horatio and Don's head to rest a hand on. "Strife even helped, boss."  He went to lean out the window and breathe the clean air.  Don followed a minute later.  Eric wandered out and went to take a shower, waking himself up that way.  Then he headed up to their changing rooms while dripping wet, going to put on something dry and go back to work.  Danny looked down at Ryan and Xander, shaking his head.  "I'm not waking him."  Ryan looked up at him. "You good?"

"I'm fine.  Is he clear?"

"For a while.  I noticed he wasn't as needy recently.  Backing up is bad.  Remind me next time he starts to slow down."  He finally got his head clear and went to work in the labs. He wasn't going out on a call for a while.  He yawned as he walked past Stella.  "We're fine," he mumbled.

"Go nap.  What happened?"

He turned to look at her.  "Xander had a small brain tumor.  When Strife and Apollo removed it, he surged.  He was backed up."  She moaned.  "Yeah, I made that noise a few times too.  Good thing I heal."  He went to his lab and shut the door, going to work alone in there for now.  Xander was never getting that bad again.  He made prayers to Apollo and Strife to please keep the tumor from making him back up or do stupid stuff again.

***

Up on Olympus, Strife was polishing his fingernails.  "It's about even," he told Cupid.  "Prayers to make him go again and to keep him from going again."

"They'll both be happy.  We all surge sometimes," Cupid said blandly.  "He won't be doing it for a while though."  He grinned.  "He better?"

"He's good," Strife assured him.  "'Pol removed it and it's grown back about a tenth of the size.  The next time he gets into trouble like that again, we'll know it's growing back."  Cupid grinned.  "How did we miss that?"

"It wasn't that large when we saw him the last time," Cupid pointed out dryly.  He grinned.  "Why are you sitting like Pops, Strife?" he teased.  "Did Xander get you too."

He smirked and nodded. "Yup, and for a quickie orgy in a closet, it was good."  He shifted and winced again.  "It was damn good, even if I can't sit for the next week."  Cupid giggled and flashed out.  Strife went back to prayer counting.  He sent the one of 'please don't let me get pregnant from this' back as 'morning after pill, toots' and then it was all good again.  Though if she did, maybe she'd name it after their anchor?

***

Stella finished typing her first report for Xander's Chronicle, since she was his Watcher.  Then she looked up to find Mac there. "Xander."

He came in to read.  "Note to all Watchers watching over Xander Harris.  He has a brain tumor that does still occasionally grow with repeated healing of other injuries.  When it does, it presses on the impulse control and GHS portion of his brain, producing the ultimate need to get into trouble.  Xander has been known to go play with gangsters and drug dealers while this is in effect.  Once removed however, his hormones and pheromones are backed up and will surge nearly immediately.  Clear the area if it is being removed.  This has caused a spontaneous orgy in normals, Watchers, and immortals alike.  Then he will go back to normal until it starts to grow again."  He looked at her.  "Fairly clinical."

"Joe told me to quit putting personal opinion in there."

"True."  He nodded and sent it.  The phone rang five minutes later.

"Stella Bonasera."  She blinked.  "Joe, that's what happened. Apollo and Strife removed the brain tumor.  The tumor grows whenever he has to regenerate anything.  A little bit at a time.  When it's starting to become dangerous, he goes and he plays with dangerous people.  This time he was gambling with drug dealers and winning poker tournaments with them.  Yes, and that baccarat one in Monaco.  No, I hadn't heard he had been kidnaped over there.  Who helped him?"  She shook her head. "Yeah, I know Tumie, they helped rescue him.  That's what those files are?  Sure, I'll let Horatio know.  Anyway, we removed it and found out his hormones were also backed up.  Anyone within five thousand square feet of him for the first half an hour got turned into a robot of lust.   Horatio locked some of them in an interrogation room.

"Eric, Ryan, Danny, and Don all went into the closet with him and Alexx, our ME there, was so hit she was clutching the table and panting fresh air.  He made Speed and Horatio both surge too when they came in contact with the same room and then the closet when they were done.  So yeah, it's a good warning. Put that under the warning that he's a level ten GHS member.  Someone's got to know after I retire."  She smiled and listened.  "Sure.  Mac approved of it. He said it was clinical sounding.  Well, you told me to put in less opinion.  Yes, Joe, it did affect me a half hour after they were done.  You want to ask Mac that?"  She laughed.  "I'll tell Horatio."  She hung up and called him.  "Those files you got from Tumie are the guys who banded together to take Xander from the casino in Monaco.  He did.  He said one of the Parisian ones on vacation saw him and he was like some anime character getting free.  Part helpless bimbo and then an action hero.  Our feeling?  As long as he's safe.  Though if he starts to wear an anime schoolgirl skirt, we'll send pictures."  She hung up on his spluttering and ignored Mac's to smile at him. "I will."

"If he does, I'm going to blackmail him with it.  With his hair it'll be cute but really not appropriate."  He hauled her up.   "Quitting time."

"Works for me," she agreed happily, heading out with him.  They were going the same place after all.  Horatio was briefing them all at the bar.  They walked in and Danny handed over drinks.  "Thanks, dear."  She kissed him on the cheek. "Able to sit comfortably now?"

"Barely.  Did you put a warning in there?"

"I did.  It's going right under his one about being a GHS level ten."  Horatio looked at her. "We keep histories."

"That's fine.  I applaud it.  Someone's got to know if he outlasts everyone here. He nearly killed us all with it today."  Strife flopped down at the end of the table and took Sheldon's beer from him, sipping it.  "Want another one, Lord Strife?"

"The prayers to make him do it again are outweighing the others.  Also, I've got an alibi if anyone wonders in the morning."  He saluted them.  "Horatio, you and Speed?  Did you think she was kidding?  She can be an airhead now and then, but not that much."

"She is not," Horatio told him.  "Sometimes a bit sidetracked by something else," he admitted at the long look Strife gave him.  "For those who don't know, Xander had a brain tumor this morning."  Lindsey moaned.  "It apparently grows each time he has to heal or regenerate."

"You can tell it's time to remove it because it starts to push down on his 'I'm doing stupid stuff' center and starts to back up his hormones and pheromones," Speed offered, sipping his drink. "Apollo removed one that was six and a half inches in diameter today. When it was removed, all the backed up stuff came out.  That's why our station went down for a two hour nap today."  He saluted them then finished his beer, letting Sheldon pour him some more.

"They floated around and affected others for about a half-hour," Stella offered, making Strife giggle.  "I'm sure you got quite a rush," she teased.  He nodded and smirked.  "That's okay because I heard some of the women who got hit saying that if they did get pregnant, they're naming it after Xander and making him adopt it."

"He'd love them like he does the dragon," Ryan said, grinning at her.  "Next time, we've got to remove it in a room that's got really good ventilation and then let him have his friends and approved playmate list, or we've got to evacuate the station first."

Horatio nodded.  "The Chief wanted to know why we did it in the lab.  I told him the same thing I told Stetler. Can you imagine if we had done that in a hospital?"  They all laughed at that.  "It's got a five thousand foot radius of influence until it gets into the ventilation system.  Then it can affect a whole cellblock that usually complains about smells from the morgue."  Frank laughed.  "You were lucky."

"Lucky nothing, Horatio.  I'm old enough to take care of it myself in private.  You okay?  You look like you can barely sit too."

"I'll be fine with a long soak in the hottub later," Horatio offered.  Gold coins fell around them at the table.

"Hey!" Calleigh complained.  "I had a headache!"  She picked one up to look at it.  "It's chocolate.  Okay," she said, looking up.  "Better but there's only so much chocolate even Xander can eat, dear.  No more, okay?"  A shower of sapphires and emeralds fell and she sighed, looking at Ryan.  "Any idea?"

"No but I think it's what stole the passport from immigration."  He grinned and took another drink.  Then he picked up a chocolate coin to eat.  "I haven't had these in years."  He moaned at the taste.  "Oooh.  Godiva."

"If you can tell brand by taste, you eat way too much chocolate," Don pointed out, using his cup as a pointer.  Danny unwrapped one and stuffed it in his mouth for him, making him moan and bliss out.  "Oooooh, good."

Eric looked at them.  "Did you two work things out with Xander or am I going to have two snorers cuddling tonight again?"

"We worked it out," Danny promised.  "We told him we'd be home after we told everyone what had happened this time."  He looked at Speed. "Any luck on the bullets?"

"All eight matched to someone.  We're working on arresting them now.  I'd like to know where it happened."

"Us too," Don assured him.  'Cause I'm not a happy detective with this by any means."  Danny nodded that he agreed.

"What was going on?" Lindsey asked.  "If I can be nosy."

Calleigh looked at her.  "Stress got to them.  Xander talked to them and they didn't listen.  Xander was in that high stakes gambling ring we busted.  We followed him and found some things the night before he went to Monaco.  They've so far blamed him and he's blaming Horatio for him being blamed."  She sipped her beer.  Lindsey sighed.  "They'll work it out.  Xander's not the sort to hold a grudge, Horatio."  He nodded at that.  "We heard about Yelina leaving today. Are you okay?"

"A bit upset," he admitted quietly.

Speed nudged his foot.  "Remember, Ray Junior threatened to come back."  That got a smile.  "He'll be back within a few years.  All the pickup lines I went over with him sound even worse when translated."  Horatio cracked a real smile at that.  "Besides, he won't have Xander to take him shopping down there."  That got a nod and an gentler smile.  "Good.  Now, how do the rest of us make up to Xander since we *all* ignored him when he was in trouble?  And speaking of, is Greg down here?  I heard he had troubles and no one listened to him either."

"Xander told me about that," Danny admitted.  "It took me a few to realize it had more than a moral to the story."  He looked at Frank.  "The fuckers dead or in jail?"

"One made bail.  The other's still in there.  That one jumped countries."  He looked at him.   "You weren't on the ball and I had an itching need to go in there."

"Welcome," Strife agreed, smirking at him.  He saluted him with his stolen cup.  "Guys like that bug the piss outta me.  If you're gonna take him, take him but be nice ta him until he agrees ta stay.  Then if you're mean he'll kick your ass lighter than he was before."  Danny and Don both glared at him.  "Step up to the plate, boys.  You've got a boy at home who's never had the love shown to him that he gives his dogs, much less what he can shower on you two.  He's used ta being ignored but it's one of the things he hated about *them* too.  It's one of the reasons he wasn't unhappy about going back on the road trip."  He finished up the beer.  "The boy gets more attention from his ferrets than humans."  He stared at Danny, then at Don.  "We clear here?"

"We've been trying," Danny reminded him.

"No, you've been tired.  Don's been tired.  Xander's like the dog the day he got adopted.  Look how he treats others then treat him that way.  The same as the rest, if they're family, they should act like one."  He disappeared.  It was as close as he was getting with them.  If they didn't, he'd make sure Xander went to someone who would love him with everything in them and understood his scary side... Jace.

Danny and Don looked at each other, then Horatio.  "I feel the flu coming on, boss.  You mind?"

"No, Danny.  You and Don go.  He's right."  They nodded and hurried out, Don leaving some money for their portion of the beer.  He looked at Speed.  "At least we didn't lose the whole family."

"No, not by any means.  We've got one tired family though.  We could all use a good few days off.  Convention this year?"

"I'd like that," he agreed with a smile.

"And it'll be just you two this year too since Xander can't go this year," Ray reminded him.  That got an even bigger smile from Horatio.  "Maybe we should all take a vacation.  Anyone want Adam for two weeks?"  Eric shook his head and Ryan grinned but shook his head.  "You two sure?  Frank, Calleigh, Lindsey, Sheldon?"  They all shook their heads too.  "Damn, guess that means I've gotta go home to the old man too.   I should do that before he breaks into worry warts."  He slid out from under the table and out the free side, waving and tossing down some money.  "See you guys tomorrow or so."  He headed home to let Adam know what had happened.

The rest settled in to relax and compare stupid criminal and stupid Xander stalker stories.

***

Danny walked up to Ray and Adam's house, knocking on the door.  Adam opened it and looked at him.  "I need advice.  I'm a sucky boyfriend and it's time to handle it like a man."

Adam let him in.  "Tell me what's been going on.  Let's see if I can give you an idea, Daniel."  He let him in and sat him down, letting him go over everything, making him see his own points of fault and where Don had, plus where Xander's expectations weren't realistic now and then.

***

Don walked into the house, watching Xander do laundry.  "No, Greg, I'm sure it's not all right.  How fair is it that he made fun of you for what you can't help?"  He walked the phone off with the laundry.  "No, it's not right, Greg.  You may be their family but good families don't put each other down like that."  He sat down on the couch and put the phone back in the base and hit the speaker button.  "Sorry, back to folding laundry."

"Why are you doing the laundry?" Don asked quietly.

"Because I'm the only maid we have, Don.  Greg, he was wrong to pick on you about being taken.  It's not right. It's not like we *ask* to be taken and treated like property."

"Yeah, but it wasn't like that. I was five minutes late and he asked if I had another date with the guy," Greg's voice came out of the speakers, sounding depressed.  "I'm not sure if he meant to pick or if I was an honest question.  I thought they liked me."

"They might not know how disastrous and painful that sort of thing is for us," Don said, coming in to help Xander.  It was his clothes after all.  Xander swatted.  "Let me help."

"I'm doing just fine on my own."

"The last time we got you a houskeeper, the house fell on her, Xander.  They won't come work for us."

"It's not my fault I had been taken!  Even the guy from the DPP didn't know how and why I had been taken!  That's not my fault!  The same as someone wanting Greg wasn't his!" he said angrily.

"I know it wasn't your fault but the agencies still won't send anyone," he said gently.  "I know it's not your fault you got taken by someone who doesn't deserve you."  Xander snorted and folded another shirt.  "Put my clothes down.  I'll do 'em later.  It's my turn anyway."  Xander gave him a look.  "It is."

"It's been your turn.  It still doesn't get done."

"It will tonight.  Now put it down and let's help Greg."  He moved the basket and carefully put the folded clothes back in there, then shifted beside Xander.  "Cuddle me?"

"No thanks."  He looked at the phone.  "Greg, bottom line it.  Did you yell at them like they deserved?"

"I did.  I snapped.  I know I shouldn't have, but I snapped and then I left saying I had a headache.  Which I do.  I just screwed up one of the few good things in my life."

"Greg, you've got offers."

"I turned them down to stay here.  There's no new openings."

"Then you'll come down here," Don assured him, pulling Xander closer.  "Please cuddle me?"  Xander sighed but let himself be held.  Don snuggled around him, getting comfortable.  "We've got a spare room, Greg, and you can surf until the next opening comes up.  That way you don't have to deal with assholes who don't appreciate you."  Xander looked at him.  "Which I can admit I've had a bad case of recently," he told Xander. "I'm sorry.  Would you please cuddle me?"

"I am."

"No, you're like a teddy bear.  I want to really cuddle you."  He pulled Xander into his lap.  "Greg, did you ever get the other stuff straightened out?"

"Sort of.  Grissom started to stop all discussion on that topic.  So they talked about it in the locker room and it spread," he said bitterly.  "Why do I like Vegas?"

"Cheap and legal prostitution when you need it," Xander reminded him. "A nightlife that drew you.  Good clubs you can get lost in."

"Oh, yeah, that was why I wanted to come here."  He sighed.  "Did that new trainee ever show up?"

"A few days ago," Xander admitted. "Another position will open up soon, Greg.  You know that.  There's always one.  Even if you did have to go into the lab for another few months."

"Yeah, maybe.  Or maybe I should switch fields.  I know the society needs more chemists."  He made a humming sound.  "I only have cheap ice cream at home.  Sorry."

"Hey, I can ship you some chocolate.  We've got tons of it laying around," Xander offered.  "Someone sent me an eight foot chocolate vagina, anatomically correct, and a six foot white chocolate dildo."  Greg giggled so hard he was snorting.  "Seriously.  We've still got pieces of it around here."  Don handed over some of the chocolate he had scooped off the table.  "You bought me more?"

"No, it rained down on us in the bar while we told the rest of the group what happened today."  He kissed his ear and nuzzled him. "Greg, if they don't respect you, then come down here.  You don't need the stress.  You'll start to surge and you'll start to hate yourself for what you couldn't help.  It's not your fault they can't accept you as you are."

"Sarah handed me a pamphlet on how to cure homosexuality," he said, clearing eating another bite of ice cream.  "I pointed out I was straight and that I had a cure, but thanked her anyway for caring about a blind date someone sent me on," he said bitterly.  "I don't know, Don.  I feel like I'm suddenly alone again."

"You're not alone, Greg.  You've got me," Xander reminded him.  "You've got the rest of the members.  Especially those in law enforcement.  I'm sure Tony's had some of those same issues."

"Maybe."  He ate another bite.  "It still bites, ya know?"

"I do," Xander admitted, sounding tired.  "Very well do I know."  Don gave him a squeeze.  "What are you doing?"

"Making up for three weeks of stress wearing me down," he said.  "I was tired and stressed, Xander.  I am sorry."

"Don, you're still seeing me like an assignment and I thought we were past that stage.  I'm sorry I thought wrong."  He got off his lap and moved to finish the laundry but Don took his hands and the shirt, making him put them down then dragging him back into his lap.  "Why are you even trying?"

"Because you've got the wrong idea, Xander.  We are so far past that stage.  If I thought you were still an assignment, I wouldn't be in the same bed as you at night."  Xander gave him a look.  "That was your choice to leave those nights."

"You came in smelling like you were drunk. Of course I left."

"Sorry.  Most cops, when we have days like this, we go and we talk about it in the bar with the other guys who understand.  Most of us don't bring our boy or girlfriends because they don't understand.  I'd bring you but you don't like being around people while they're drinking and it's still a bar so there's a conflict there.  I didn't come home drunk."

"You did."

"No, I came home smelling like a brewery.  I didn't come home drunk.  I haven't come home drunk in a long damn time.  For that matter, I'd tell you but then you nag."

"I don't nag!"  He struggled but Don held onto him.  "I don't."

"You do.  You do it subtly, like sleeping on the couch when I'm been drinking.  But you do nag, Xander.  The same as doing the laundry and complaining about lack of a housekeeper?  That's really close too."

"No, that's a legitimate gripe.  The last house I could clean.  Here I can't."

"So don't.  We'll do some of it."

"If I left it up to you two, nothing would ever get done.  Even when the lab had so many people that you guys sat clear for almost a full day except for cold cases you guys came home tired.  I'm sorry I'm such a burden."  He got up and grabbed the phone, walking off with it to shut himself in the practice room.  "Sorry you had to listen to that, Greg.  Did you tell them the truth when you blurted it out?"  He nodded.  "Then it's their own fault for putting you in that position.  Real families apparently fight but not like that.  How would I know, Greg?  I had two drunks for parents.  Yeah, well, exhibit A, ya know."  He leaned against the wall, holding his forehead while he listened.  "I've got to send Cordy a plane ticket to come visit, I'll send you one too.  It'll get you out of Vegas for a few days at the least.  Do you really want to call them to tell them?  Fax it in writing. That way it's official that you're asking for a few unpaid days off.  Greg, please, man.  You know I don't care.  I'll pay airfare and the cost of moving your stuff for you, Greg. Please, before they destroy what self esteem you've got.  Yeah, well that stuff does.  Trust me. Being surrounded by people who don't like you that way does.  I don't know," he sighed.

"I thought we were and then this shit pops up again. Like it's my fault that I didn't realize I was gambling with drug dealers and when I try to tell them they ignore me, and it's my fault?"  He slumped "Yeah, maybe we should both take a vacation.  I don't know.  He's not here yet.  Maybe he's at the bar with the others.  No, but I'm damn sure that me leaving Miami or finding a good keeper would simplify their lives," he admitted.  "I tell you what, we'll look for each other.  How about that?  I'll look for one for you, you look for one for me.  We'll go clubbing and stuff again.  That way you stay away from the perfect people and their perfect fucking lives.  Well, it sounds like they think they are."  He grimaced then he grinned at the sudden laughter.  "Good cartoon?  I haven't watched any recently.  Too busy being the maid.  Come on down, Greg.  The dogs, the ferrets, and the dragon will love you with me.  We'll cuddle all the time until you're ready to go looking.  Yeah, I'm sure."

He wiped off his cheeks.  "I don't know anymore. All I know, I come home from a vacation and it's worse than ever.  Yeah, maybe we should switch cities."  He smiled at the laughter.  "You come be the GHS Lord of Miami, as one of the guys recently called me at the station, and I'll go out there and kick their asses for you."  Don forced the door open and walked the base in, plugging it in and taking the phone, putting him back on speaker, then he pulled Xander into his lap and held him again, just holding him.  "Are you still there?" Xander asked.  He heard the quiet laughter.  "Don walked in and put you back on speaker.  I don't know.  I'm being a teddy bear apparently."  He looked at his protector.  "Tired?"

"Of the fighting.  Greg, families are supposed to fight but they're not supposed to rip you apart.  If they're doing that, then they're not family and they're not your friends.  Let Xander get you down here for a short vacation.  Some distance will give you some perspective."

"And you are?" another voice asked.

"A detective.  You?" he said coolly.

"That's a Warrick person," Xander told him.  "It sounds like he broke and entered.  Greg, are you okay?"

"I'm fine.  Nearly choked on the spoon when he credit carded my apartment door."   The sound of a thump next to the phone.  "What do you want, Warrick?"

"Greg, call someone.  That's breaking and entering.  He shouldn't do that," Don ordered.  "Even if you don't press charges, they'll still walk him out."

"I'm not going to hurt him."

"More than you already have?" Xander asked.  "What? Come to give another lecture on why he's not good enough to work with you because he's not OCD and not perfect like you?"

"I'm not OCD."

"Ryan Wolfe is and he called you the King of OCD techs," Xander said firmly.  "You're over-prepared, overly organized, can't stand anyone who's a normal person?  That's OCD, Warrick, get help before you destroy another good tech's career like you nearly did Greg's."

"I'm not trying to.  I was trying to get him into the right mindset."

"I had that already.  But no, you yelled at me after I got called to a scene after a full shift and I got called out of bed.  He's right, Warrick, that's not how to train a good tech and it's not what a friend does either.  The same as your crack about a new dating issue?  Not welcome.  Now get out."  He sound of a spoon hitting teeth.  "Now."

"Can we talk without them?"

"No," Xander told him.  "How do we know you're not like the last guy he went on a date with?"

"That was a nice date, right?" Greg asked.

"It was.  You planned it with me and I would've loved it, Greg," Xander assured him.  "It was a nice, normal date with nice, normal expectations that didn't include sex at the end.  I would've be thrilled for that."

"Picnic do?" Don asked.

"Not a hint, Don."

"Tough shit."  He gave him a squeeze.  "You won't let me apologize."

"Sounds like they've got their own troubles so let's you and me talk and then you can talk to him after they've talked," Warrick said.

"Why?  So you can rip apart my life some more or tell more cops what I am?"  Warrick stepped away from the phone at that.  "'Cause, yeah, not happening, Warrick.  Out.  You ripped me to shreds earlier and you got it back.  You deserved it for that crack.  Right now I'm inches from handing you my ID and stuff so you can hand it to the experimenter in the main office.  Now, do you mind?  The ice cream Gods and I are communing so I calm down again."

"Greg, it..  We were just teasing, Greg.  You're like our family, we do tease each other."

Greg snorted.  "Yeah, and I believe that.  Hodges teases me.  You rip me apart.  Nick does it.  Catherine stays out of it and Sarah hands me things on how to fix myself.  Grissom sees me like one of his bugs.  So no, it's not happening.  Here."  He slapped something onto something else.  "Now, go away please.  I'll be leaving for a trip to Miami here in a couple of days, I'll clean my locker tomorrow."

"No, I'm not giving this to Gris for you.  You want to do that, you be a man and do it."

"I'm more man than you'll ever be," he said hotly.  "I put up with you guys picking on me for *years* about how bouncy I was.  Not like I can control having ADD either, Warrick. I knew I should've taken the job in 'Frisco.  Out!"

"I want to talk," he said calmly.

"I don't.  My next action is to call dispatch to get you out of here.  So go."

"No.  I want to talk.  You need to talk to someone other than Xander and whoever."

"His protector, Detective Flack," Don offered.  "I believe you're now bordering on threatening him.  If you don't do as he says, I'm letting Xander call your dispatch for you."

"I only want to talk to him.  He's got it all wrong."

"Really?  Then what did you do when he was kidnaped, Warrick?" Xander asked.  "What was *your* reaction?"

"Well...."

"He laughed," Greg told him.  "I was more than lucid enough to remember him laughing and joking about my hormones.  Out, Warrick."

"I just want to talk, Greg."

"That's it," Don announced, pulling out his phone.  He dialed a number.  "Catherine Willows?  Don Flack.  Small problem called Warrick Brown at the moment.  No, my boyfriend's talking with Greg and he just broke into his apartment and refuses to leave.  I've heard he's a good tech so I won't tank his career by reporting him for it, but get him out of Greg's place and please guard Greg until Xander and I can get him down here.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "She's at home, Greg.  She said it'd take about four minutes.  Can you hold on that long?"

"I can," he agreed quietly.  "Don, I don't think he's threatening me."

"I don't care, Greg.  He's obviously not listening to you.  That's like shit I pull when I'm tired and I quit listening to Xander.  And then what happens?   He gets hurt."  Xander glared at him.  "It happened in that order, yes?"  Xander nodded.  "Then it was partially my fault.  Had I listened, I would've known you were in trouble."  He cuddled him.  "I'm not going to do that again.  There's no more not listening on my part, baby."  He kissed him.  "I am sorry," he offered quietly, staring into his eyes.  "Just one chance?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm an idiot and I didn't realize it, Xander.  I'm so much less complicated than you, even being GHS myself."  Xander slumped.  "I didn't realize and I've had my ass kicked by everyone and Strife.  Including you.  I was wrong.  I admit I was wrong.  I'm staying.  You're worth more to me than anything.  All the pretty things, all of it.  For that matter, I'm not working overtime anymore."

"I can't make you give up working for me!"

"You're not.  It's the reason I'm so tired and tuning you out."  He kissed him. "It's not you, it's the job, Xander.  I'm so sorry.  Please?  Let me make it up to you?  If I slip again you can slap me and walk out on me.  Please?"  Xander looked down and nodded.  "Thank you.  I'm so sorry, baby."  He gave him a cuddle.   "Now, would you please cuddle me like you used to?  I really need a cuddle."  Xander curled up in his lap, cuddling with him.  He relaxed and Don relaxed.  "Thank you.  Greg, you still okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine so far.  He's just watching me and the phone.  If he reaches for it I'm spooning him to death."  Warrick groaned at that.  "That's got to be Catherine.  It's probably still open, Catherine."  The door slammed on his end. "Nick, I could've sworn he called Catherine to come remove him."

"She called me.  She's on her way but I was closer.  Can we talk?"

"Um, no, you said what you wanted to and so did I."

"No, I was teasing, Greg."

"You were teasing me because I got kidnaped when I went on a date.  Hmm.  Did I pick on you about you getting kidnaped?"

"No," he said weakly.

"That's a low damn blow.  He nearly died!" Warrick complained.

"I had enough drugs in my system that they weren't sure I wasn't going to seize," Greg said coolly.  You could almost hear them flinch.  "And all I did was go out on a date that Hodges had set me up on.  Neat, huh?  So no.  Get out.  Both of you."  Someone else knocked.  "Catherine, that had better be you.  Otherwise go away!"

"It's me, Greg," came through faintly.

"Hell no.  I'm not dealing with you, Sarah.  Go away."

"I've got Grissom with me."

"Yay for you.  It's your heart's dream.  Go away!  Xander, you can't just magic me, right?"

"Wish I could get there.  I'd kick their asses for you or knock them down with it," he offered quietly.  "That's an idea, Greg."

"I don't want to broadcast.  It's a bad habit to get into."  Someone else pounded.  "I'll call you guys in ten.  If I haven't, call Dispatch this time, okay?"  He hung up and Greg grabbed his jacket and wallet, getting up and heading out, finding Catherine outside and parking.  He got in. "Please, God, get me away from them."

"Sure," she agreed, putting the car in reverse and heading off.  "As long as you talk to me."

"That's fine."  He looked at her.  "I quit."  She stopped and looked at him.  "I'm not going to let myself be ripped into that way again.  I love you guys, I have for years, I thought you were like family.  Up until Grissom outed me."  He handed her his ID and got out, heading off into the early evening.  He stopped at a payphone since he realized he hadn't taken his cell, calling collect.  "Greg," he said when they asked for his name.  He turned around to look at the city around him so no one could sneak up on him this time.  He hoped.  "Xander, I'm okay.  I quit.  Is the offer of a ticket still good?  Please?"  He relaxed.  "I can be there within hours, man.  Thank you."  He hung up and headed for the nearest corner to get a cab.  He had enough for that.  He slid in.  "Airport?" he requested.

"Heading home?"

"Yeah, kinda. Family."  That got a nod and the cabbie headed off, setting off the switch on his dashboard.  "Not again," he moaned as he fell asleep.

"Again?" the cabbie asked.  "It's taken me three weeks to find you.  We're only going to have a quiet talk about some things, kiddo."

***

Xander got woken by a phone call from the airport.  "What do you mean he never showed up?" He frowned.  "I'll be out there to look for him, thank you."  He hung up and looked up, then at Don.  He was asleep still.  He looked at the clock and found Danny sitting up watching him.  "What?  Greg's gone missing."

"We can go," he agreed quietly.

"When did you get in?"

"I was talking to a more experienced boyfriend."

"How is Speed?"

"Adam actually."  He kissed him.  "I suck at this shit, Xander.  I haven't had a real date in years.  It was always fun for a few months and nothing else.  I haven't had a real thing in a while."  He stroked his cheek.   "Can I try?"

"I thought..."

"No, tell me now, before we head to Vegas.  Can I try?"  Xander swallowed and nodded.  "I know I'm in deep.   If I try, will you quit hiding stuff from me?"

"What do you think I'm hiding now?"

"What's up with Greg?"

"His team decided to pick on him again, ripped him to shreds emotionally about his date that kidnaped him."

Danny nodded at that.  "That shit happens to you guys.  That's why you guys have guys like Don.  He deserved better from his team.  A team doesn't do that to you.  Now, how are we going?"

"I was going to hit the DPP and use their board to find him.  They've got a tracking system on all of us."  He got up and put on leathers, ones from the trunk of stuff Ares had given him, then he pulled his sword out.  His hair got put up.  "Coming?"  Danny nodded and stood up, putting back on his shoes so they could go together.  Xander wrote out a quick note for Don, then they left.  He landed in the very quiet police station, going over to the board.  "There he is. He's still in Vegas."  He made it focus more.  "He's by Jace's.  That's good at least."

"Mr. Harris?" someone called.

"A lesser GHS I was helping earlier was supposed to fly out and he got snatched."  He looked at the rock-looking officer.  "I'm going to help him."

"That's a noble cause.  We can open one to Vegas for you."

"I can do that.  Thanks.  Both George's are fine."  He kissed him on the cheek and pulled Danny off, going to open the portal.  He concentrated and it opened in front of the address he had seen.  They walked out and up the stairs, Xander kicking in the door of the apartment building since it was locked.

"I could've done the lock," Danny offered.

"No time.  More direct."  He walked up to the apartment number noted, hearing Greg babbling at someone about immortals.  "He doesn't know," he muttered.  He started to kick in the door and Danny shook his head, doing the lock more subtly this time.  Xander pulled his sword as he walked in.  "You want to know about immies, you ask us yourself.  Greg doesn't know a damn thing about us."  The cabbie backed off, looking scared.  "What was this?  A gentle way of getting one of us here?"  He shook his head.  "Are you sure?"  He followed him.

"Xander, homicide is bad," Greg said patiently.

"In his case, he's a berserker, it's doubly bad because only Ryan or time can get him out of it.  Yo, Xander, let's go.  We've got Greg."  Xander sneered at the Watcher, making him shake and back against the window.  "I agree.  Next time you wanna know something, you come to us directly.  Or go to the other Watchers since I saw the tattoo."  He pulled Greg with him.  "Xander?"  He followed, heading out with them. The portal reopened and then reopened again in Miami, letting them walk out in the house.  He looked at Greg.  "It's strange, but you're safe."

"Wow."  He looked at him, then at Xander.  "Is this Danny?"  Xander nodded.   "You both seemed a lot less scary before."

Xander smiled and shrugged. "Sometimes you've got to be scary.  Especially when they steal friends and family, Greg.  Come on.  You can borrow Ryan's bed.  He's not here that I know of so you can use his."  Greg nodded, letting himself be taken.  "We'll answer all the pesky questions tomorrow."

"Are you?"  Xander nodded. "Can I be?"

"I don't know.  It's a matter of birth.  I'm told we're all orphans or foundlings.  We all die violent deaths.  I'm not sure if you can or not.  I'm not sure if anyone can tell a pre-immie or not."

"I usually can and he's not that I can feel," Danny offered as he joined them with new pillows.  "Ryan drools," he offered with a grin.  "Sorry if it freaks you out."

"No, it's actually kind of comforting that Xander will be kicking in doors for years to come.  That some really protective people will keep going and keep humanity sane."

"We're not all sane and we can still be killed.  We just age *really* slowly," Xander told him, grinning some.

"Sure.  Even better.  Like in that story with the pond water."  He took the pillows.  "Thanks, guys.  I don't want to be a burden."

"I don't see burdens.  I see family," Xander told him. "And hey, been there with the kidnaping before, a lot."  Greg smiled at that, nodding.  "Good, now go sleep.  You need sleep to heal.  Any injuries?"

"He got my arm but it was only a minor thing," he offered, showing it to them.

Danny shrugged.  "We've got stuff around here for that.  We'll wrap it in the morning."  Greg nodded and went into the room, coming out with a blush.  Danny looked then sighed. "Eric.  Okay, you can use Don's mom's room."  He walked him across the hall, finding Aiden in there.  He rolled his eyes and checked the other rooms. All their family but Frank and his wife and a few of the techs, were sleeping.  "Huh."  He walked him down the stairs.  "We've got a huge bed and I promise no funny stuff."  Greg smiled at that and shrugged.  "Sorry.  Didn't hear them come in."

"That's okay.  It's good that they worry so much about you. I thought I had that."  Xander hugged him, whispering in his ear, getting him calmed down.  He nodded. "Thanks, Xander."  He let Xander tuck him into a side of the bed and then get between him and the cuddle monster Don.  He smiled because Don automatically moved to hold Xander as soon as he felt and smelled him.  Danny moved behind Don, giving him plenty of room.  "Thanks, guys."

"Anytime, Greg.  You know that."  Xander stroked over his hair.  "Sleep now, Greggy.  It's time to nap.  Good little chemists are already in bed and the naughty ones are off having dirty dreams of compounds that make everyone hard and want it."  Greg laughed and hugged him, letting him go so he could curl up.  Xander watched him fall asleep.  It was so hard to watch him sometimes.

Danny reached over to stroke down Xander's hair.  "It'll be okay, Xander.  All of it."  Xander kissed his hand and they fell asleep holding hands across Don's body.

***

Horatio walked into the trio's bedroom the next morning, smiling some at the sleepy Greg and the trio curled together next to him.  He snuck back out and closed the door, heading to the kitchen.  "Set an extra place for Greg," he ordered.  "He's sleeping in there next to them."  Speed nodded, making another omelette.  He went back to the door and peeked in, finding Greg staring around in confusion.  He pointed at the bathroom and Greg nodded, going in there.  Horatio got him some lounging pants and went to leave them in there.  Greg gave him a look.  "We all came to talk to Xander this morning.  Would you talk with me later?"

"I would.  You tried.  Then I got taken and it's been one crack after another.  Then they all forced their way in last night and wouldn't leave.  Then, when Xander said he'd get me airfare, I got taken by a cabbie talking about immortals."  Horatio nodded.  "Is there any way to find out if I am?"

"Not as far as I know.  I'll ask."  Greg nodded.  "I'll do what I can to help, Greg.  Did talking with Grissom help any?"

"He made them stop talking about it in the break room and in front of me. Instead they ended up talking about it in the locker room and it got spread.  They cracked on me for weeks about being kidnaped by the guy who Hodges set me up with."  Horatio gave him a hug.  "Thank you.  Warrick broke in last night while I was talking to Xander.  Don ordered him to leave and ended up calling Catherine.  Catherine sent Nick and he came in to stare at me and not help.  Then Sarah and Griss showed up.  I ended up escaping with her and quitting then escaping her and getting kidnaped again. Then Xander saved me."

"He's very good at that," Danny agreed as he came in, giving Greg his own hug.  "It'll be all right.  We usually have spare rooms you can borrow.  You can call Catherine and them today if you want."  Greg nodded.  "Good, now take a shower so I can have one.  I'm not even going to presume to wash your back like I do Xander's."  Greg blushed. "I know, we're like that some mornings.  Hurry up, someone decent's cooking if they're all here."

"Speed's making omelettes."

"Even better.  He's an excellent cook."  Greg smiled and got into the shower, stripping in there before turning on the water.  Danny led Horatio out and to the living room.  "I need time off.  He needs me."

"They all need you, Danny.  I can give you two days unpaid and then cut you back to part time for a while."  Danny nodded at that.  "Are you sure?"

"I am.  Thank you, Horatio."

"You're welcome.  Don's got the same offer."

"He said last night he's not working any more overtime.  We messed up so bad."

"I've had this fight in the past.  I let work take me away from Speed and he called me on it too.  Remember, Xander feels very deeply.  This is a scar for him now."

"I know.  Thanks, Horatio."  He gave him a hug and went back into the bedroom to talk to Don since he was awake.  "We've got two days unpaid and then part time if we want it."

"I'd like that," he admitted.  Danny smiled.  "He does need me and so do you.  Who else was here?  Ryan's not that blond."

"Greg."

"Greg from the convention and Vegas Greg?"  Danny nodded.  "Did we end up flying him out?  I was making a snack when he called back."

"No, we went to save him from the Watcher who had him to pump him for information.  He's in the shower."

"Sure.  The more the merrier."  Danny smiled.  He poked Xander, getting a sleepy grunt.  "I smell bagels.  Someone's cooking."

"Speed's making omelettes."  Xander lifted his head out from under the blankets, giving him a look. "He is.  Greg's in the shower."  Xander grunted and headed that way, going to give him a hug and start the process of his hair, making Greg squeak when he was hugged.  But Xander wasn't trying to help him in other ways so he guessed it was all right.  Danny looked at Don, nodding out there.  "You wanna wait for a shower?"

"Depends, how bad do I look?" Don asked.

"Tired. A bit greasy around the edges."

"I'll go take Horatio's shower.  You take Ryan's?"  They nodded and headed that way.  Don found his still steamy, which was nice.  It smelled nice in there.

Danny had to sneak past Ryan, who was naked and mostly uncovered on the bed on his stomach.  Ryan jumped up when he heard the shower start.  Danny peeked out at him.  "Speed's making omelettes and Greg's in our shower.  Sorry."

"Not a problem."  He yawned and walked in there with him, using the bathroom then getting in to take a shower with him.  He even got some kissing and fondling in, making Danny happy this morning too.  They got out and dried off then Ryan went to put on clothes while Danny had to hike downstairs to get his.  Ryan came down first, looking at Eric since he was staring at him.  "What?"

"You and Danny have fun?"

"Mostly just bumping into each other.."

Eric pulled him closer.  "Are you mine or not?"

"Depends, do I get to make the same request?"  Eric flinched at that.  "We've never been exclusive, Eric.  I've never minded that you had Aiden.  I think you two are cute together and it's nice your mom agrees with me."

"Point."  He relaxed.  "Then I'm fine with the family, no one else, Ryan."

"I've never went outside of the trio, Eric."

"True.  I'm sorry.  I'm jealous and a bastard."

Ryan kissed him.  "Yes, but you're my main bitch," he said fondly, grinning at him.

"Next time I get you alone, you're going to pay for that," Eric vowed, smirking back.  "Like on your back and begging to pay some more."

"If you think you can flip me.  Spar for sex?"

"Hmm.  Later. I want to see you spar with Xander first."  He took another kiss.  "Food's outside."

"I figured as much.  Come on, guys, I'm hungry," he called.  Xander and Greg came out, making him wave at Greg.  "Hi again.  What happened?"

"The team decided I was a good target for picking on because I got kidnaped."

"Yet, they didn't do it to Nick."  He nodded at that.  "Come on.  Speed's a great cook."

"So I've heard.  Lead on."  Ryan led him out there with Eric.  "Adam!" he said, giving him a hug.  "Man!  I never expected you to be here."

"I trained Xander and my Ray works with Don and the rest of the uptight people who could use a vacation."  He looked at him. "The same as you could apparently."

"I'm now looking for a new job."

"Why?"

"They cracked on me for being taken."

"Interesting.  Xander? Did we leave them alive?"

"When I went to rescue him, a Watcher had him and was pumping him for information."

"Even more interesting."  He looked at Greg.  "Not that I can tell, young one."

Greg nodded.  "That means my family's my own and I love 'em."  That got a smile.  "But hey, it also means that some very protective people will help keep humanity sane for years to come."  He sat down beside him but Ray coughed when he came out.  "Sorry, Ray."

"Not an issue.  Move down one."  Greg moved down a spot and settled in.  "Thanks.  Don't get enough time with him.  You know, the Council could use another chemist," he reminded his mate.

"I know, we do need a new research chemist," Adam agreed, looking at Greg. "You could apply for that.  It would be a laboratory position and not greatly paid but it would help you and many others like you.   Including finding out why the brain tumor Xander had made him back up."

"He did?"  He looked at Xander.  "Are you okay?"  He nodded.  "Your hair's broken and shorter but you don't look like you were on chemo."

"I wasn't.  They removed it.  I was backed up enough that it caused almost everyone within a five thousand yard radius to get horny and have an orgy."  Greg smiled at that.  "It got taken out magically."

"Cool.  Anything else good happen?  Or better than good?"

"We busted all of Xander's former poker buddies," Ryan offered. "He got a bit peeved at that since they led it back to him even though it wasn't."  He shrugged and dug in.  "Thanks, Speed."

"Welcome, Ryan.  Slow and chew.  You can still choke and die."

"Eric wanted to watch Xander and I spar."

"You are?" Greg asked him.  Ryan grinned and nodded.  "No wonder they sent you with him."

"That and I was trained by some of Ares' priests," he said modestly.

"You're that old?"

"No, one of the times we got taken it across to another plane and they were there."

"Oh, cool.  Why can't I ever have the cool kidnapings?"  Xander shrugged.  "All I ever get is drugged."

"At least you weren't castrated," Xander offered.  "I had that happen once already.  Fortunately being me I grow back."  Greg shuddered. "Yeah, it hurt like nothing I've ever had before."

"More polite topics over breakfast, please," Frank requested.

"Sorry, Frank."  Xander dug in, smiling at Speed.  "Thank you for cooking."

He gave him a kiss on the top of the head since he hadn't sat yet.  "You're welcome.  You're my third favorite GHS member."  Xander pouted. "Horatio, me, then you, kiddo."  Xander beamed and hugged him.  "Aww.  Eat.  I want to see you make Ryan beg like you did the rest of us."

"Which Watcher?" Stella asked.

"He's a cabbie in Vegas," Greg told her.  "Not a clue about his name."

"I'll check on that and get him yanked in for doing that, Greg."  That got a smile.  "You guys are too precious to do that to."

"Are you single?" he asked.

"Ask Mac.  He's still figuring that out."  She nodded at Mac, who scowled at her.  "You are."

"You're not," he said firmly.

"Thank you for clearing that up," she said happily.  "Finally!"  She looked up and said a prayer to Aphrodite for her former headache from him, then looked at him.  Then at Xander.  "Does this mean we can figure out how the dancing stuff translates to sword work?"  Xander nodded.  "I've been wanting to see that.  And some of the dancing."

"Horatio has a set of tapes," Speed said smugly.

"So do I," Greg agreed.  "He was teaching us and Tony DiNozzo how to dance."  He looked at Xander.  "Have you heard from him? I got his machine the last time I tried."

"He's had some really nasty serial case and a petty officer with an NCIS agent breathing down his neck."

"That's fine.  He'll get my machine or I'll get it by email, like usual."  He smiled at Xander.  "You play with swords?"

"All the time. I've also got to trim my hair again since some of it broke.  You know, I almost remember being shot now," he told Don, who gave him a look.  "I was asleep on the couch."

"Okay, that's a good place to start.  They snuck in here?"

"No, I was on Horatio's couch."

"I knew the house smelled like gunpowder," Speed complained, looking at Horatio.  "I'll try to lift prints."

"Try the back door.  The neighbor would've noticed and called otherwise."

"That was the day she fell and went to the ER, Horatio.  I was over helping her with that stupid kitchen lightbulb that keeps blowing on her."

"She said you installed one guaranteed for at least a year.  Thank you," Speed offered.  "I'll look later since we were all suspended for the day."

"Why?"

"Night shift came on last night and started to rut for some reason.  They're airing out the ventilation system."

"It shouldn't have lasted that long," Frank complained.  "We were normal within an hour."

"One of the night shift ones picked up on it and surged," Horatio told him.  "She's a morgue assistant.  Alexx is the only one not here because of that, Xander."  Xander shrugged a bit.  "We decided to spend the day as a family if you don't mind."

"I don't mind.  You guys can watch me kick Ryan's ass."

"Thank you.  I am sorry they suspected you, Xander, or that they hurt you.  I never meant for that to happen."

"Yeah, but you're used to dealing with stupid criminals.  That high up they've got to be at least partially smart."

"True. I'll remember that from now on.  Now, eat."  Xander slipped his omelette onto his bagel and ate it that way, making Speed laugh.  "Since you're doing that come here so I can see how far up we've got to trim your hair."  Xander came over with his milk, sitting beside his feet to eat while he worked on is hair.  He frowned.  "You have breakage nearly up to your shoulders on one side," he said.

"It was uneven for a while before where the front was growing out."

"It won't look right this time, Xander.  I wish it would."  Xander gave him a pitiful look.  "It won't.  We can try but it won't look right when it's down."  Xander got him the scissors from the kitchen, turning around to let him trim it.  Horatio finger combed it, wincing at the breaking.  "It's not healthy right now either."

"It needs conditioned again."  He winced as Horatio cut across his shoulders.  The falling hair disappeared.  Cupid appeared.  "It broke when I got shot."

"Poor baby," he soothed, giving him a hug.  "It'll grow back. It'll just take a year."

"Can I magic it?"

"Get it healthier first," Cupid warned.  Xander nodded.  "Good boy."  He kissed him gently then smiled.  "Thank you for making Strife not able to sit."

"I'm always happy to serve, you know that."  Cupid laughed at his impish grin and left with a wink.  "Okay, who thinks I look like a dork with my hair this short?"  Nearly everyone raised their hands.  "Let me go condition it."  He went inside to work on his hair, finding the hair growing spell. He even prayed that it would work before doing it.  He came out with hair down to his toes and his head weighed down.  "I had a small oops," he announced.

"Waist length, Xander," Danny complained. "That's way too much hair.  Horatio, waist length?"

"Of course."  He turned Xander around.  "I need a brush."

"My turn," Don called, going to get it from inside.  He came out and sat Xander down to brush his hair, making him smile and blush while they all watched. "I like playing with his hair."

"Maybe I should grow mine," Greg offered.

"You look better short and spikey, like I do," Ray assured him.  That got a smile from him.  "You should call a friend, let them know you're okay."

"I should."  He got up and went to find the phone, calling Hodges.  "I'm fine."  He listened to him rant. "You heard them, Hodges.  Why would I stay?"  He rolled his eyes. "No, I'm fine.  I'm with Xander and I'm fine."  He smiled. "I'll miss you too, grumpy.  Of course I will.  I'll even be home in a few days probably.  No, a short break to give everyone time to calm down. What do you mean Warrick's moping?  You know what, smack him for me.  Verbally is fine," he assured him.  "Thanks, Hodges.  I'll even let you help me look at the want ads if you want."  He grinned.  "Sure."  He hung up and went back outside.  He picked up some of the fallen hair to feel it.  "It's very soft."

"It usually is," a dry, tolerant voice said from behind him.  "Mine. I get all shed hair too.  I like his hair.  It's pretty," he offered with a grin.

"Sure.  I can see making a Xander bear out of it."  He handed it over.  "I'm Greg."

"I'm Strife.  He prayed to me."

"But I love you," Xander called.  "It's long enough, that's what I wanted.  Plus you get more and this stuff is softer than the other stuff."

"It is, but you look like a yeti," he said with a grin, coming over to cuddle him under cover of the hair.

"Maybe we should leave some of it," Danny offered.  "That way we could sneak stuff under his hair too.  Strife, mine."

"Tough, not doing anything but cuddling.  Geez!"  He grinned.  "It weighs a ton."  Xander tried to nod.  "See?  And we don't have anti-gravity devices yet for hair."

"Pity. If we did, he'd be keeping it," Danny assured him.  Xander blushed at that.  He got up and came over to help, getting under the curtain of hair.  Strife got out and pulled some around so they had privacy.  He gave him a kiss and a subtle rub.  "I could like this whole cloak of hair thing."

"Next life somewhere colder for real cloaks?"

"We can do that on vacation. I like heat."  He took another kiss, making Xander blush again.  "My poor angel," he whispered.  "We should let Horatio cut it around us."  He felt a hand touch him and grinned. "Naughty you."

"Well, yeah.  Later?"

"Definitely later in many forms."  He took another kiss as the hair was trimmed and pulled away from him.  "Can't you just leave to really long parts around his face?"

"When he's sitting down, it'll cover his lap, Messer," Frank assured him.  "Let Horatio finish so we can do his hair up.  Then he and Ryan can spar."  That got a nod.

Danny looked at Xander.  "Two really long strips.  Just from your ears over on each side?" he offered with a grin.  "Very unique."  Xander shivered.  "Horatio?"

"We can try it, see what he thinks."  He left the rest longer, it came to his knees.  Then he handed Danny the brush.  "Here.  Your turn."  Danny grinned at Xander and turned him around, separating those out so he could braid the rest and then twine those two around the braid.  "That is cute," Horatio decided.  "Up to him if he keeps it."  Xander bounded then bent backwards, then shrugged and went to get his sword.  Ryan finished up his coffee and headed to get his practice blade, his good one was at home.

"Out front," Xander called.  "More room and the benches and fountain are in."  They headed that way with coffee, sodas, and milk.  Xander finished stretching then looked at Ryan, who popped his neck.  "Your turn to attack?"

"Please don't make me come in my pants this time?"

Xander grinned.  "Maybe."  Ryan moaned but he did attack and Xander flowed around him, moving with the blade, his body evoking strong feelings in everyone.

Greg moaned.  "I need to learn that side too.  That'll keep me in really good shape."  He tipped his head, grabbing the phone when it rang.  "Harris's house."  He heard the familiar voice and hung up on it.  He cheered on Xander when he got in a good blow and blew a kiss.  Ryan growled and lunged faster this time, speeding it up.  Xander was still graceful but more deadly now.

Eric stared.  "Damn it, I'll never be able to do that," he complained, fighting not to undo his belt.

"Me either," Sheldon complained, clutching the arms of his seat.  Don sat down between them and Eric grabbed him.  "No fair."

"Tough.  I'm on the approved playing list."   He glanced at Horatio and Speed, who were cuddled together and holding hands, whispering at each other to be strong and not to embarrass themselves.  Frank let out a moan and came.  So did Stella.  Calleigh growled some, shifting position.  Mac was clutching his chair too.  He had white knuckles.  Stella finally pounced Mac, making him give in.  Calleigh went inside.  Frank went to a different bathroom. Eric still had Don in his lap and he was good to fondle and stroke.

Sheldon looked at Greg.  "I'm not gay, but wanna help each other?"

"Please.  Neither am I but I need it."  They curled up together, having fun.  They finally had to clap when Ryan got Xander pinned but without being able to behead him.  Then Ryan moaned Xander's name, swore, and looked like he came, at which point Xander got him onto his back and stood over him, smirking.  "Way to go, Xander!" Greg called but went back to what he was doing.

"Very nice, Xander," Horatio called, taking Speed upstairs.

Danny patted his lap.  "You've got a spot right here, baby."  Xander bounced over and sat in his lap, shimmying and dancing for him.  Danny pulled him down to rub against him, taking his mouth to kiss him.   Hard, deep, tongues in play, then he moved and pulled Xander into the living room so he could go down on him, making him one happy boy.  He swatted the hands trying to help him.  "You deserve this.  I'll get me."  He finished him off and stood up, stroking himself.  "I should write my name in it on your stomach."

"Possessive. I kinda like that," he admitted.  Danny smirked and pulled his head up, kissing him again before coming on his stomach.  Xander moaned as it was rubbed in and he wrote both their names in it.  Xander shifted and arched his hips up. "Please, Danny?"

"Of course. Where do you want to put it?"

"In you?" he asked hesitantly.  He had only gotten Danny for the first time the other day.  Danny stripped down and handed him some lube they kept in there, making him whoop and move to claim his boyfriend in front of everyone.  Don came in and pouted but Danny pulled him over to kiss him through his panting in pleasure.  Then Don grinned and made him suck him while he and Xander kissed over Danny's back.  Danny came with a groan around him, making Don get off too.  Xander smiled and finished off, nipping him.  "Ooh, baby."  He stroked Danny's back, cuddling with him.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  For some reason I'm thirsty."  He looked at Don.  "Cut down on the salt, Flack."

"Yes, dear."  He took another kiss and got to cuddle them both by sitting under their heads.  "Ah, better."  He stroked over their hair, then smiled at Danny.  "I don't like that as much."

"It's cute."

"He can do it anyway."

"Point.  Let's let Horatio trim those even?"  They nodded and went to get him to trim them.  Speed yelled but it was okay.  Horatio made him get off and he went limp, sated, and pliant on him.  Then Horatio got off thanks to the smile his husband gave him and the pet name he got whispered in his ear.  They let the boys in to trim that part and send them outside to play again.

***

Horatio looked up from his picnic, looking at the men walking toward where they were on the front lawn.  "Xander?" he called quietly.  "Suits and IAB."

Xander got up and bounced over, looking at Rick Stetler.  "What's going on?  Am I in trouble for the surge I had after the tumor was removed?"

"No.  I still don't believe *Apollo* did it."

Xander shrugged. "He said that's what his name was."  That got a sneer.  Xander moved his pants to show the marks, making him hiss and back up.  "Like I said, that's what his name was.  What's wrong?"

"You've all been charged with kidnaping a tech out of Las Vegas' lab, Mr. Harris," one of the suits said.

"Huh.  You mean rescuing him from the guy who had him?  Yeah, we did.  Greggy?"  He looked up and waved.  "Him?"

"Him," he agreed, walking that way.  "Mr. Sanders, if you'll come with us?"

"No, I won't.  I'm with my friends. They saved me from the person who I got kidnaped by after I walked away from a friend. I'm not leaving here.  They're sticking up for me when my last coworkers trashed me.  Sorry but it's a bad call.  Which one of them made it?"

"Your former supervisor."

Xander looked around.  "Anyone see my phone?"  Ryan tossed Greg his.  "Okay, that'll work.  I'll pay your bill this month too, dear."

"Don't worry about it.  The new one decided to shower us with jewels and chocolate coins last night."  Xander rolled his eyes.

Greg called Hodges.  "It's me.  Who called the FBI on them?"  He listened to him cackle.  "Uh-huh.  Put someone reasonable on.  Catherine if she's there.  She was reasonable last night."  Eric put something in front of him, sitting on the foot of his lounger to plug it in.  "Catherine?"  Eric hit a button.  "Catherine?"

"I'm here, Greg.  Am I on speaker?"

"Yup.  An external one so the nice FBI guys here can hear you. Who in the hell told them Xander had kidnaped me?"

"Um...  No one I know."

"Ma'am, you are?"

"CSI Willows, LVPD.  You?"

"Special Agent Heartstone, ma'am.  It was reported to us by a Gil Grissom that CSI Sanders had been kidnaped to Miami?"

"Really?  First I've heard of this.  Grissom!" she bellowed, making most of the men in Miami flinch at that tone of voice.  "Grissom!"  They heard a faint male voice.  "Not you, Stokes.  Where is he?"

"His office," came through faintly.  "Did they find Greg?"

"I'm on with Greg and the FBI.  Grissom!"

"What?" another voice said as it came closer.  "What happened?  Did they find Greg?"

"With his friends in Miami," she said impatiently.  "Did you call the FBI?"

"He was missing, Catherine."

"He's not missing.  He's with his friends, who was the one who got him to Miami, Gil."

"He was acting irrationally.  We know they're prone to surging."

"He's not a damn science experiment!" she yelled.  They all flinched at that.  "Greg is the same person he's always been.  He is not an experiment to watch.  He is not a creature.  You called the FBI to find him?"  She came back.  "Sorry about that," she said more calmly.  "Greg, how do I put you on speaker on my end?"

"The menu button twice and then the star key I think."   Three beeps later.  "Am I on?"

"You are," Nick said.  "Are you all right?"

"Well, there was someone who wanted to know something I knew nothing about but Xander got me out of that.  He came for me and it was nice.  He didn't rag on me or anything.   Now, listen to this.  I.  Am.  Fine.  I.  Am.  With.  Friends.  Who.  Give.  A.  Damn.  About.  Me.  Did we hear that?  The same as we heard how they had to call Catherine to get Warrick out of my place?  I'm not an experiment.  I'm not something to crack jokes about.  I am not yours any longer because of the shitty way my team treated me.  Do we hear me loud and clear, Grissom?  Thank you."  He hung up and held his head for a minute, then looked up at the agent. "I'm sorry for him. Now and then he thinks I'm one of his bugs."

"It's all right. It's better if it's not a kidnaping.  If I may ask why he thought it would be?"

Greg looked at Xander.  "They know about a bunch of us in this city and if he outs you as one of us, we get to sue them," Xander assured him.

Greg looked at the amused agent.  "I'm a lower level GHS member."

The agent nodded.  "Okay, that makes more sense.  He found out, started to watch you.  The other CSI raggged on you?  You left?" he suggested.  Greg nodded.  "That's fine, sir.  I understand fully.    Would you like to file a complaint?"

"No.  He probably thought he gave a damn," he said grimly.

The agent nodded.  "I understand, sir.  Thank you for your indulgence, everyone.  I'm sorry we interrupted."  He looked at Xander.  "Where are your passports?"

"If I had to guess, the new friend I have who likes to shower us with things took them for me."  He looked up.  "Did you take my passports?  If so, they want them back."  They came back and the whole group was showered with jewels and gold chocolate coins.  He grinned once Calleigh had shrieked because one cold one went down her top.  "They like to spoil me."

"That's how you afforded this house," Stetler said grimly.  Xander nodded.  Danny and Don both nodded.  "So you two take care of him?"

"Watch his back," Don said.

"Braid his hair," Danny agreed.

"Cuddle him."

"Wash his chest."

"Cook him dinner."

"Help him find people and things to help him," Danny agreed.

Xander looked at them.  "Does that mean Don's cooking and I get an actual new housekeeper?  And a gardener so I don't have to mow too?  Please?"

"Sure.  Stetler, you know a good, reputable cleaning service that won't try ta steal him?" Don asked.  "And a good garden service since the last guy walked in and tried ta steal from his wallet in front of him?"

"I saw that report.  If I hear of one, I'll pass it on.  Along with a good officer to watch him when you're not off."

Xander smiled sweetly.  "Can you leave Horatio alone too?  Please?  He's being a sweetie.  He trimmed my hair for me this morning because it was messy."  He blinked his big, brown eyes at him, watching him shiver.  "Please?  He's already having a bad month.  It's not going to get any better and they've got to take my poker winnings and make me go to the bank.  Please?"  Stetler shivered and backed away then ran.

"Bye," Speed called, waving a hand.  The agents laughed.  "Xander just has the touch, guys."  One came over and whispered in Horatio's ear.  "We heard about that," Speed assured him. "It's tiny.  It's a little digital camera and a photo printer."

"I've got a spare one, the original prototype," Xander said, whispering it in Don's ear.

Don smiled at Speed. "He knows where there's a prototype of that thing."

"Really?" an agent asked.  "Is that why they were worried about your second passport, sir?"

"No.  They're worried because I have a second passport," Xander told him. "That and I came home with bags of money."  He grinned.  "I won a lot but I left with most of that."

"Sure, sir. Where did the money come from?"

"I was part of a high stakes poker ring here."  He patted Don's cheek.  "He makes me go to the IRS instead of confession."  That got a smile from the backup agent and a nod from the lead one.   "Should I give the prototype to Horatio?"

"As long as he's willing to share.  Thank you, Mr. Harris."  He smiled and walked off, without the passports.

Xander looked up.  "Thank you."  He went inside to the safe and opened the black case in there, turning to find Ryan looking too.  "Nosy."

"Yes, I am. It's part of the job."  He took out the camera setup, shaking his head.  "Bad, Xander."  He walked off, handing it to Horatio. "Here, boss.  Didn't we already take him to the bank?" he asked, looking at Don.

"No, he was on your couch that night.  I called, they wanted him to do it for that much cash."

"Sorry."

"Not your fault," Danny assured him.  "We should do that."  Greg laughed.  "Xander, where are you hiding them?"

"Practice room again."  He came out and pouted at him.  "Must I?"

"Yes," he said firmly.  He pulled Xander into his lap and looked into his eyes.  "I love you but yes."  Xander nodded, hugging him.  "Getting cute and cuddly won't keep us from making you deposit it, Xander."

"I still haven't gotten the rest."

"Call my cousin and see."

Xander sighed and went to find his phone and call him.  "They're making me do a bank drop," he said bitterly.  "I know, but Danny said to call you and see," he said.  "Because they're making me.  I know.  I know.  Hey, he's your cousin.  You talk to him."  He handed over the phone and climbed between Eric and Ryan, giving Eric a hug.  "Ryan's nosy."

"I heard.  It comes with the job.  You gonna show me?"

"Nope."

"You should.  It could help us."

"I got it for Steve."

"I know.  It could still help us too."

Xander pinched him on the cheek.  "I like you."

"I like you too."  He gave him a hug and whispered in his ear.  "You can't do things that could get us in trouble, Xander.  You know that.  Give it to Horatio.  You trust him."  Xander pouted at him when he pulled back.  "Tough. Do it."  Xander pouted worse.  "Now.  H, he wants to show you what's in the safe."

"He doesn't have to but if we need it, I'm going to come to him to get usage rights," Horatio said, looking at Xander.  "I know he's not going to get anyone in trouble."  Xander shook his head.  "Good.  Now, can I have a hug?"  Xander got up and came over to give him one.  "Thank you.  I wouldn't mind knowing what you have in there or how much we're helping you deposit."  Xander sighed and pulled him up to take him into the safe and show him everything.  He smiled.  "That is impressive, Xander," he said quietly.  He gave him a hug around the waist and leaned closer.  "We're not using that, correct?"  Xander shook his head.  "Then why do you have it?"

"Steve."

"I see."  He looked at the document forger and the blank stack of documents, plus a few other things, like a very nice card reader system.  "Poker debt payment?"  Xander nodded.  "Then I won't complain but if I need it...."

"You can borrow it."  He closed the safe and looked around, seeing Wyatt pulling in.  "In a few."  Horatio nodded and let him move, bouncing out to meet him. He paid him his usual tip, took the food and helped him carry in the bags from the trunk.  "Is that all of it?"

"All but the one from Don Toma," he said quietly, leading Xander out back again.  "That way they can't nag you if they don't know.  He wanted to know if you would accept a service instead."

"Depending. What was he offering?"

"His daughter."

"Um, hell no."

"That's what I thought.  He said it'll be another week."

Xander looked at him.  "Not hardly."

"It's that or he's going to bolt."  Xander gave him another look. "I'll try.  That also leaves the Gradient one."  Xander rolled his eyes.  "Accept the usual?"

"Ask Horatio."  Wyatt laughed. "Seriously.  He took the prototype camera."

"Sure."  He walked to the kitchen door and leaned in.  "Lieutenant, one of his poker debts wanted to know if he'd accept some new theoretical technology instead of money."

"What sort of theoretical?"  He came outside, looking at him.  "You do look a lot like your cousin."

"I keep hearing that but I think I'm cuter."  Horatio smirked at that. "He was thinking about a new fingerprint maker and a few other odds and ends, plus some other blanks, Xander?"

"Steve could probably use them."

"Who's Steve?"

"My financial guy.  Speaking of which, I've got to tell Steve I'm putting in the poker money."  Wyatt laughed. He shrugged. "He needs it.  Horatio?"

"I might like to see some of the cutting edge stuff. Without passing it on," he told Wyatt.

"That's not my beef.  He knows damn well Xander's sleeping with two cops. He was there when Xander came in bragging that Don got his evaluation raise."  They shared a look.   "He also knows Xander knows people who have needs.  Therefore he helps."

"Then I'd like that," Xander agreed.  "We'll be counting for the next little while."  Wyatt smiled.  "Is that all of it?"

"The two are still there.  You really should break bad."  Xander strolled over and whispered in his ear, getting a nod.  "I can point out that you can do that."  He smiled.  "Anything else?  Fu sent duck for Hubert this time."

"He'll appreciate that."  He kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, Wyatt."  He checked the trunk and looked in the back seat.  "Is that the rest of ours?"

"Nah, one of your neighbors saw us and called."  He grinned. "Thanks for the tips, Xander."  He got in and went to deliver up the street.

Xander strolled back into the house and undid the charm he had hiding everything, counting bags.  "Six are missing!"

"No, I drug five to the bank and you brought one to the farm," Danny called.

"I meant since two days ago!"  He looked around and found them in the closet.  "Ryan!"

"Sorry, I needed the room and you had them hidden!"  He came in to help.  Horatio and the others brought their drinks in and came in to count.

Greg stared.  "Damn.  Can you teach me to play poker, Ryan?  Xander said you taught him."

"I did.  Our first trip to Vegas," Ryan agreed with a smile.  "I can teach you.  Sit, help count."

"Counting machine?"

"In bundles.  Some rolls, some bank bundled," Danny offered.  "We could use a counting machine."

"Office, second desk drawer," Xander offered.  Everyone stared at him.  "What?  It's reasonable. I hate counting cash.  Do you know what's on some of these bills?"  Danny smiled and went to get the counting machine.  They came back and Xander got out gloves, putting some on.

"See, I knew I'd teach you good habits," Ryan offered, grabbing his own pair.  Then some of the rub bank tellers used since Danny had a few tubs of that.  They got to work on their own bags.

Frank finally looked over.  "Damn it, how did you get all this?"

"He's evil at more than baccarat, Frank."  Someone knocked so Ryan got up to answer the door. "Yes?"

"Is Xander here?"

"In the practice room counting his poker winnings with us.  I'm Ryan.  Can I help?"

"I'm Jesse. I only deal with Xander."

"Xander?"  He came out and squealed, hugging him.

"Xander," he sighed, hugging him.  "Thank you, man," he whispered.

"You're welcome, precious.  It's okay, we can talk in front of Ryan.  He's a good guy.  He taught me how to play poker."

Jesse looked at him.  "Give lessons cheaply?"

"I'm not sure how I did so good with him, but maybe."  He smiled.  "You're the guy who made the camera."  The kid blushed and nodded, looking down.  "That was sweet work.  You ever think about working for the PD?"

"You guys don't need stuff that often."  He looked at him. "Usually it's a submit and reject.  I've had a few of those."

"You know what, you send things of this quality to us, we might not reject them.  Because immigration has *no* idea how the system he had works."

"But it's so simple."

"It is, but they're still clueless.  They think in terms of typewriters and laser printers."

"But that's so *old*," he complained, looking at him. "They're ages behind this stuff if they are.  All I'm doing is making it smaller and more portable."   He shrugged.  "Do you think your boss would like to see?" he asked hesitantly.

"I would," Horatio agreed from inside, coming out, handing him a soda.  He got an impish grin for it.  "I would definitely like to see it, Jesse.  Whenever you're ready to show me. Also, depending on what you sent?  Might've been a bit too high tech for us.  Especially if you sent it to Computer Services.  They took Detective Kowalski's computer for nineteen weeks."  He giggled at that.  "Because someone was trying to download and blew the monitor.  You send it to me and I'll see what I can do."

"Let me clean," he said, smiling and bouncing a bit.  "I'll let you see once I clean.  There's some things you shouldn't see."

"I understand.  Whenever you've cleaned up a bit.  Don't worry about doing more than dusting and I promise I won't bust you for it as long as we can come to you for help if we need it and possibly to borrow some stuff now and then.  That's what I do with Xander, all right?"  The young guy beamed and nodded.  "Good boy."  He pulled out a card.  "Call me when you're ready and I'll try to come the same day."

"Yes, sir.  Thank you, Lieutenant."  He beamed and handed Xander the two bags he was carrying.  "Here you go.  Thank you for letting me pay this way.  Common sense lagging and all that."

"Jesse, no more gambling without me," Xander told him. "Really."

"Yeah, well, the circle's kinda in shambles anyway.  But don't worry about it."  He hugged him. "Thank you for the soda."  He blew a kiss and headed back to his hatchback economy car and headed off with a lot of engine noise.

"My friend Jesse could've ended up like that," he said quietly, handing them to Horatio.  "Let's go see what I've got this time."  They bounced inside and opened up the new bags, looking inside. "Oooh."  He pulled something out.  "What does this do?"

"If you point that at me and it fires, I'm ducking so it hits Frank," Eric said firmly.  Xander pointed it at the other wall and fired, seeing the picture it made. He fiddled with it and the picture got bigger.  Eric shook his head and smiled. "It's a mini projector."

"Yeah, but Lupin could use this," Xander said.

Don groaned.  "No anime!  Please?"

"Fine."  They put it away and let the others go through it.  Even Frank was smiling at the infections nature of the new toy buzz.  Then they finished the counting project and bundled everything but a few bundles up and hiked it out to Horatio's hummer.  It had the most trunk space and they needed it.  Then they headed to the bank. The teller looked at them in horror.  "They're making me deposit my poker winnings."

She just nodded.  "Would you like to do this in private, sir?"

"Sure.  Is Miss Gold in?  She's the one I usually deal with."

"She is.  Let me get her for you."  She went to get her and she came out.  "Him, ma'am."

"Xander," she said fondly, looking.  "What's all this?"

"Poker winnings."  He grinned brightly.  "I was playing high stakes."

"I can tell.  Let's bring all this into the conference room, that way we're all in there."  Xander nodded and hefted his bag after her.  The others brought their bags.  She got a few tellers to count.  Danny handed over the sheet where they had done it, making her smile.  "Thank you. That's very nice of you."

"Want gloves?" Ryan asked.  "We know very well what's on most cash in circulation."

"That's all right, we use hand sanitizer all the time, Mr. Wolfe. Thank you anyway."  The tellers brought in counters and sat down to do a double count while Frank tapped Xander and Horatio to get the other few bags.  They walked out and came back, bringing that in.  "More?"

Xander nodded.  "Yeah. Oh, and we got sent more stuff.  I'm not sure if they wanted to put stuff into safety deposit boxes or not.  Danny?  Don?  Ryan?"

"Already cashed mine," Ryan offered.

Danny shrugged and Don nodded.  "We let the others have it," Don told him.  Xander shrugged and they pulled him closer to keep him from bouncing.

Miss Gold looked over at the cough.  "Oh, dear."

Horatio took the drugs.  "I know that bag.  It was one of the ones that got paid today.  He's already in jail.  Xander?"

"I warned them. I let you handle it last time, Horatio.  Stomp his ass."  He looked at her.  "He keeps forgetting some of it. It's his personal stash.  I have never liked drugs and I went on a rampage when someone tried to pay their poker debts with one.  They turned themselves in."  She laughed at that.  "Horatio will handle it."

"Eric, search the other bags," Horatio ordered.  He and Ryan did that, coming up with another small baggie.  "Hmm.  Same source?"  Ryan pulled out a baggie and put them both in there, then labeled them.  "Thank you, Mr. Wolfe."

"Let me go dust them in the hummer and see if we have anything on them."  He nodded politely and went to do that.

Horatio looked at the bankers.  "You know that ring we just busted, the illegal poker ring?"  He pointed at Xander.  "He was one of the few clean people in it.  The lesser bored rich people got upset that he kept winning."  They giggled at that. "He did not get this illegally.  It's technically not illegal to win or host personal poker games."

"True. As long as you say it, Lieutenant."  He nodded.  "Thank you."  They got back to counting and gave her a list of what was in each bag once they were done.  Then they switched stacks and got to work checking each other.  When they were done they handed her the sheets.  She nodded that they matched, signing off.  She looked at Xander.  "All right, now we get to decide where it goes, Mr. Harris."

Xander moaned.  "The one I use most?"

"That one is already over insurance limits," she warned.  He whimpered. "I know.  We could start another one."

"Won't that complicate his life more?" Frank asked.  She nodded.  "Boys?"  He looked at Don and Danny.  Don pulled out his phone, calling Steve, walking out to talk to him with the figures.  He smiled.  "They take good care of him."

"So I've heard."  She smiled when Don came back.  "How is Steve?"

"He blew the embezzlement whistle on his company so there's feds crawling all over him."  He sat down and handed the sheet back. "He said, and I quote, make Xander quit playing cards and to put it in an account just for him.  Get him the usual cards, and can you please fix the one that had some theft and the one with the blue card?"

"I can, I have, and I'll look into that one."  She smiled at that.  "Better?"  He nodded.  "Before you ask, the theft was related to those two he had arrested."

"The supposed housekeeper and gardener?" Danny asked.

"No, the interior designer and the house painter."  They all looked at Xander.

"Xander?" Speed asked.

"You mean they didn't tell you?  Who do they call whenever I have to call Dispatch now?"

"You know, they haven't called me in a while.  I get it through the grapevine," Don said.

"Me too," Danny agreed.  "That'll stop."  That got a shrug.  "Sure.  They broke in?"

"He was napping on the couch from what I understand."

"He was supposed to paint the fence, she was working on the upstairs bedrooms. They both came highly recommended."

That got a mass groan and a nod from Frank. "I'll pull up everything with his name in it," Frank promised.  Ryan came back with the report for Horatio.  "Need me to arrest someone?"

"Not really.  Someone else packed them.  We know who though.  It's clear who packed them for the idiots' who're in jail already."  He smiled.   "Narco got called.  They're happy too.  I've already handed it over to one of them and they're on their way to handle it. They thought it was cuter than the guy who tried to pay his whole poker debt by giving Xander 213 kilos of cocaine."

"And I threw a fit," Xander reminded him.

"You did, I'm proud you let us have him."  He gave him a kiss on the top of the head. "Paperwork?"  Xander moaned and nodded.

"Let me go get the forms," she said, going to do that.  She came back and handed them to him.  "Just sign and date, Mr. Harris.  We have everything else."  He nodded, doing it.  Then she took it and got some guards to carry the money down for her, loading it onto a trolley so they could take it to the safe.  She filed the paperwork, brought him back the bags, then smiled and shook their hands.  "Thank you so much.  We love Mr. Harris."

Calleigh smiled.  "If I mention his name can I get a better deal on interest?"

"I don't know.   What were you planning on moving, dear?"

"Some CD's.  I'm with National."

"We always have better interest."

"Some people consider them my harem," Xander said with a grin.  "They treat them very nicely to get me to go to them."  She blushed and giggled, then took Calleigh to talk to her about what they could do for her.  Frank went too.

Horatio looked at him.  "Naughty."

"And?" he asked, grinning. "They do."

"They do.  Now what shall we do?"

"Ice cream?"

"Ice cream sounds good," Ryan agreed. "Guys?"  They nodded and filed out, going to the various cars.  Eric texted Frank and Calleigh.  She had ridden with him anyway.  Ryan smiled when they got there and no one ordered anything with chocolate, not even Xander.  So apparently there was enough chocolate even for the biggest of GHS.

A Slut Hidden.

Idea: the Dark GHS Universe version of the GHS/NCIS fic.  It really does depend on when and why you get the explanation.  Not even Jethro can complain when it's due to an attempted kidnaping.

Note:  I left the smut intentionally vague so you could make them however kinky you wanted.  Starts vaguely around Dark GHS 35 or so and ends around part 48 - after year two of Greg being in Miami.

Tony looked up as his new boss walked closer, handing him something he had been working on.  "The last of the infernal paperwork, boss."

"Thank you.  Which one was this?"

"Insurance."

Gibbs looked it over then at him.  "You don't have a beneficiary listed."

"No one I want it to go to yet.  I checked, I can tap the box in there that says to put it toward my burial expenses.  I did that."

"You don't have anyone?"

"I have people, we don't associate."

"Oh."  He nodded and put it in his out box, then sat behind his desk.  "Anything else I should know?"  He hadn't had Tony long, only a few months, so he was still trying to get to know him a bit better.

"Yeah, I belong to a fraternal organization and we have yearly conventions to unwind and reconnect.  Mine's in six months.  I'll have paperwork since it'll mean leaving early Friday and coming back on a Tuesday so I have time to get over the jet lag and I can take advantage of the cheaper airfare for flying back Monday."  Gibbs stared at him.  "It's practical.  Plus, unless they change our on-call weekends, we'll have that one off."

"We'll see."

"Boss, I need to go to this one," he said quietly but firmly.

"And if we're out of town on a cases?"

Tony considered it then looked at him.  "Something reasonable like that I can make due and connect to them in other ways.  If we're sitting at home?  No.  Sorry.  These people are like my family.  I need to be able to connect with them."

"Frat brothers?" he asked dryly.

"No.  A mostly fraternal organization since there's more men than women, but no.  Not from my frat brother days."

"We'll see."

"Sure.  If not, I've got to have a talk with some of our people who can connect me locally."

Gibbs looked at him.  "Connect you locally?"

"We've got members all over the world, Gibbs.  I have a few friends who're now living in Bangkok, two who're in the Middle East and if I hear from them again I'm going to have to help them get free from their keepers.  I've got one who's Native Chinese and living in Singapore at the moment.  He was living in Japan but he got kidnaped when his last friend died."

"Excuse me?" Gibbs demanded, staring at him.  "Kidnaped?  Keepers?  What sort of people are these?"

"People who're taken now and then, boss."  He shrugged. "It's a fact of life for some people.  We all accept that it can happen, support each other, go on rescues now and then.  I went on one last year to Argentina."

"Why?"  Tony just stared at him.  "DiNozzo.  I need to have some truth here.  Especially if you're prone to disappearing on rescues.  Your past bosses never said anything about that when they sent over glowing recommendations."

"Well, in that case she had been taken from her family and brought down there.  A few of us in law enforcement went to take her back for her son.  It got solved within a few days and she decided that the new offer sucked."  He shrugged and grinned.  "She's perfectly fine and happy.  She's living in Minnesota at the moment.  Her guy's doing something with electronics."

"Why was she taken?"

"Because the guy who took her wanted her, boss.  He wanted to own her and keep her.  He had her draped in some really pretty emerald and diamonds and was trying to convince her to stay.  She refuted his claim when we went in to get her and she came home."

"What sort of group is this?" he demanded, looking horrified.

"A group of people with some special needs and skills.  Since I'm a detective, I'm part of one of the retrieval squads now and then when they need me to be.  Fortunately the group's had some really caring sponsors over the years and we've got three former Special Forces guys who handle the retrieval stuff.  They've hired a crew for that stuff and it's pretty rare any of us in law enforcement has to help.  Unless it's in our city.  Then I'd help however I could."

"What sort of group is this?" Gibbs said more firmly.

Tony looked at him then shook his head.  "I can't tell you, boss.  I'm sorry.  It's secret.  It's nothing bad," he promised at the furious look.  "Like I said, we have conventions once a year to connect."

"I want to know everything about this group, DiNozzo," he said firmly.

Tony stood up and walked over there.  "Boss, if I tell you it can endanger other lives," he said quietly.  "I can't endanger their lives, but if it comes up I'll tell you then," he promised, looking earnest.  "If I tell you now, it could endanger my own life as well."

"Are they going to kill you if you do?"

"No, but if I'm found out and noted to be here, they can come after me.  If they get me, they can make me tell them about the others."  He stared him down.  "It's for my own safety and that of the people around me if I don't tell you.  But if I don't show up one day look in my desk and find the purple address book.  Call Adam," he finished with a small smile.  "If not him, Xander."

"Who're they?"

"Adam's the national head of the organization.  Xander's a higher ranking member and he knows where Adam is if you can't find him.  Adam trained him."

"Is he on the rescue squad?"

"I have the feeling he would go if one of his friends needed him but no.  He'd hire a battalion of Marines and send them after us."  Gibbs burst out laughing.  "I'm not kidding, Gibbs.  He would.  Either that or he'd go after someone with a sword.  He says he likes sharp, pointy things."  He went back to his desk, writing an email to Xander to let him know where he was.  Then he settled in to rearrange his desk so it worked better for him.

Gibbs stared at him, looking like he wasn't sure if he was being had or not.  Then he decided it was a group of nuts since they liked swords.  Probably some techno geeks that got stolen for whatever they were working on.  How *DiNozzo* got involved in that he wasn't sure.  The kid was a movie geek, he had already figured that out about him.  He wasn't a techno person.

***

A Year Later

***

Gibbs watched as Tony fidgeted, unable to concentrate.  "DiNozzo," he snapped for the third time that hour.

"Sorry, boss.  Headache."  He got up.  "I'm going to get some tylenol and a few minutes of fresh air."  He headed for the break room to do that then down to the parking garage.  He looked at his phone, then called an old friend.  "Xander, it's Tony."  He smiled at the happy response.  "I can't get to the convention this year," he said quietly, glancing around.  "No, I'm going insane," he admitted.  "Could you?" he asked, sounding relieved.  "Thank you, man.  Sure, I'm in DC, still."  He grinned and noticed someone coming off the stairs.  "Sure, I can do that.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Ducky," he said, nodding at him.  "What's wrong?"

"Jethro sent me to see what was wrong with you."

"I'm jumpy and edgy."

Ducky stared at him for a moment.  "Anthony, this may come as a surprise to you but I have known a few other members," he said quietly.  "All over the world in fact.  I've run into quite a few of you during my travels."  Tony relaxed at that.  "What level are you and how long has it been?" he asked quietly.

"Seven and it's been about a week.  This last case kept me from doing anything, even dating."  He ran his hands through his hair.  "I don't know what I'm doing, Ducky.  The last person I had locally just moved.  Dating only helps so much.  So does the club in Baltimore and the spas.  I don't know what I'm doing at the moment.  I'm backed up."

"Is this case done with?"  Tony nodded. "I'll tell Jethro you need a personal hour.  Go find some stress relief, Anthony."  He nodded, going to his car.  Ducky considered it then went upstairs, going to find Gibbs.  "Jethro."  Gibbs looked at him.  "Anthony needed an hour.  His headache's getting worse so I sent him for a short drive for some air.  Or possibly a quick nap at home.  He'll be fine soon."

Gibbs stared at him.  "What's going on?"

"He's got a headache."

Gibbs stood up and stared at him.  "Ducky, it's not often you try to lie, especially not to me," he said plainly.  "What is going on?" he asked again.

"Not here," he said, walking away.  Gibbs followed and stranded them in the elevator between floors.  "This isn't what I meant.  Even here there are ears who should not hear this discussion."

"That's not going to cut it."

"There are things you do not know, Jethro.  Many things.  At this moment, Anthony will be fine.  He's going to need to wear out a condition he has, that's the cause of the bounciness and the confusion.  Once he does that, he'll be in better shape and then I'll help him find a way to handle it."  His phone rang.  "Doctor Mallard," he answered, listening.  "Oh, dear.  Put him on, Anthony.  Yes, Officer, this is Doctor Mallard.  No, he's a member of GHS.  Exactly.  Thank you.  No, let him go for now.  It's necessary.  Thank you, Officer."  He hung up and looked at Jethro.  "He's not in trouble," he said at the cool look he was getting.  "He was caught out on his drive and pulled over."

"I want the full and absolute truth, Ducky," he said coldly.

"That's fine.  Then we should bring this discussion somewhere more private."

"Fine.  We'll go somewhere else and talk."  He restarted the elevator and headed down to his car, making sure Ducky followed by the simple method of dragging him to the car.   Once he was inside and on the way out, he glanced at him. "Speak."

"I really don't know where to start," he admitted.  He considered it while Jethro headed for a nearby park.  "Back in the sixteen hundreds....."

"Ducky, without the story," he ordered.

"Unfortunately I can't in this case.  The history is very important.  I'll wait until you park.  I don't wish to wreck and die today."  Gibbs pulled over suddenly and turned off the engine, looking at him.  "Back in the sixteen hundreds a group of people realized that they had a...unique hormone and pheromone condition," he started again. "They banded together over their shared destinies and then they found more and more among their own kind."  He shifted to look at him.  "They formed a group which exists to today."

"What has this got to do with DiNozzo?"

"He's a member, Jethro."

"Of?"

"When you were in the service perhaps you heard of them.  GHS?"

Jethro blinked then shook his head.  "No, I didn't.  So go ahead."

"All right then.  This is...fairly delicate.  As I said, membership hinges on a fairly odd and what can be a severe hormone and pheromone problem."

"So you're saying this is why he dates so much?"

"Actually, it is."  His phone rang then suddenly stopped.  "That came up as Anthony's number."  He called him back, not getting an answer.  He tried it again.  "Still no answer.  He was downtown, by the Hyatt."

"He was picking up hookers?" Gibbs demanded.

"Jethro, this is serious," he said, staring him down.  "There's every chance Anthony is being taken against his will at this moment."

"Who would?"

"Anyone who covets a member of this group."

Gibbs flashed back to discussion he had had when Tony was about six months on the job.  About kidnapings and keepers.  He started the engine and headed off.  "Keep going.  This GHS group is what?"

"Well, technically they're concubines, Jethro."

Gibbs slammed on the brakes and stared at him.  "Excuse me?"

"They're natural born concubines with hormone surges.  Ones that make people want to take them.  Now, we should be going to find him."  Gibbs started forward again.  "Thank you."

"I still want to know more."

"Some of that would have to come from Anthony.  I've known a few members but I don't know everything, Jethro.  Against all indications to the side."

"Fine.  What's with this group?" he demanded as he turned a corner and ran a red light.  Lights went on behind him and he turned on his, making the officer behind them go away.  "Well?"

"Back in the sixteen hundreds a few of the favored concubines figured out what was making them favored over more worthy, more beautiful, more desirable playmates.  This was the same thing that got them kidnaped from their homes."

"Tony said that he had to go on a few rescues."

Ducky laughed.  "Paul, the man in charge of the rescue service, is quite the man, Jethro.  You would like him.  A former SEAL and still very skilled.  If it turns out he's been removed from the city, I'll call him personally."

"He told me to call someone named Adam."

"That would be the current national head."

"He said that.  This group... conventions?"

"Where they go to revel in their nature, let loose, talk with others in the same situation.  Tony's fairly unique.  At his level, most members have keepers.  People who take care of them and handle the mundane things while helping them wear out their hormones.  Anthony hasn't had one in a while from what he's confessed and the last person who was helping him recently had to move for work reasons."

"So, he's doing what instead?"

"It's a matter of the hormones and the pheromones backing up."  His phone rang.  "Anthony," he sighed, smiling.  "Are you all right?  No, I'm headed your way.  What happened?"  He looked surprised.  "Well, I doubt that will make the diplomats happy but I'm sure it can be covered up.  No, wait there.  Jethro and I are on our way.  Well, yes, I do have to bring him.  He's driving, Anthony.  Also, I believe it's time you told him."  He rolled his eyes.  "I've only had to give him.....  Yes, I know that was a breach of trust but with you being taken....  Anthony," he said sharply.  "It was in your best interests at that moment in time.  Well, you had raised an emergency situation.  You should be glad Adam and Paul aren't on their way, young man.  Fine, we'll see you in a few moments. Where are you?  Union Station, Jethro."  He spun around and headed that way.  "Is the person with you contained?  That's fine.  Thank you.  We'll be right there.  No, you shall wait for us."

"DiNozzo, you run and I'm hunting you down," Gibbs said loudly enough to be heard.  "I mean it."  He took the phone and hung it up.  "Go on.  That way I'm sure what's going on when we find him."

"Fine.  Anthony is a member.  He's around the middle of the pack really.  It means that not many want to steal him, not like the higher ranked members.  There's this poor chap named Xander...."

"He mentioned him."

"Yes, well, Xander's hormones are so strong that he has to go out with guards and even then he's still taken.  I've heard he's been taken a few times with police officers with him, from his own house.  He's the highest of them in decades from what I've heard around.  Compared to him, Anthony only has mild problems.  At the higher levels, the hormones start to back up and cloud your mind so you can't think or work.  Xander has trouble concentrating enough to balance his checkbook most likely."

"Then his confusion the last few days is this stuff?"

"He hasn't been able to wear it out," Ducky agreed.  "I sent him to find a willing body to do that with as a stopgap so he could come back to work for today and then head out tonight to finish wearing out the backlog."

"So, the officer who called....  He found him picking up a hooker?"

"Oh, yes, but he knew about the organization.  Most metropolitan police departments have at least a notice going around.  Perhaps in the Academy in some places.  Anyway, most Vice departments and officers who patrol in such areas know.  I would've been more surprised if he had been caught by one who didn't."

"Then why haven't I heard of this before?"

"Jethro, most concubines don't end up in the service," he noted dryly.  "They do occasionally end up working in higher end houses of ill repute but they don't end up in a uniform.  Now, some members of the group have taken keepers from those in the service.  It gives them more protection.  Poor Xander has one officer as his keeper and another officer as his protector, plus most of a department that looks out for him."

"So they're mostly gay?  He said more men than women."

"A number of members are bisexual," he agreed.  "I have no idea if Anthony is or not before you ask."  Jethro squeezed the steering wheel. "There he is, with the officers."  Jethro pulled in suddenly and got out, stomping over there.  Ducky got out.  "Jethro, do calm down," he ordered as he followed.

Tony watched his boss coming with ill-disguised nervousness.  "Boss, not my fault.  He clubbed me on the head and drug me to his car."  He backed away from his boss, looking at Ducky.  "I can resign today if you want me to, boss.  Just don't hit me.  I've still got a headache."

"Get over here," he growled.  Tony backed off further.  "Freeze, DiNozzo.  I want to know what is going on."  He finally caught him by the arm and shook him.  "What is going on?"

"Agent Gibbs, he's just been kidnaped, maybe you should be a bit more gentle," an officer ordered, glaring at him.  "Come here, Agent DiNozzo.  Let's finish your statement?"  Tony looked at his boss.  "No, come here.  We need this so we can arrest him."

"He's a federal agent.  Either we get him or the FBI," Gibbs said, glaring back.

The officer gave him a look then laughed.  "I'm sure you think so, sir, but the FBI can come talk to my boss if they want him.  Now, Agent DiNozzo, let's go over this again for the statement, all right?"  Tony walked over and leaned on the hood, writing it out for him.  "How long were you an officer?"

"Seven years," he said, giving him a grin.  "Thanks, guys."

"You're welcome, Tony," the other officer said quietly, smiling at him.  "Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine.  I may be running for my life later but I'll be fine."  He smiled and went back to writing it out, handing it over once he had signed it.  That got a nod and the officer read it over and signed it as well, handing him a copy.  "I hope they don't do more than send him home.  I know I was a bit out of control and all that."

"Even if you were, he had no right to take you, Tony," the second officer said.  "Would you like driven back to your car?"

"No.  I think Gibbs is going to start screaming soon.  Have a better day, guys."  They nodded and took their suspect back to their office to charge him.  Tony turned to look at Gibbs, seeing Ducky's fond look.  "I tried."

"You did.  Who was he?" Ducky asked, coming over to check his head for him.  "Well, there's a small knot but nothing unusual for some of your head traumas."  He smiled at him.  "Which country?"

"Qatar."  He moved closer to Ducky. "Should I go home?"

"I fear if you did Jethro would only follow you, Anthony.  I gave him some history on the organization.  Plus praised your ability to still work."

Tony shrugged.  "I've gotta pay the bills somehow.  I'm not like the guys who've gotten reparation."

"Reparation?" Gibbs demanded.  This was going to drive him insane.  It truly was.

"For being stolen, boss," he said, looking totally serious.  "Some of us are sent back with it if we're saved.  Some of us come home in the stuff we were rescued in, which a lot of time seems to be jewelry.  I haven't had many of those so I'm not like Xander.  Xander has millions of dollars of jewelry sent to him yearly or given by those who stole him."

"They...give you things?" he said dryly.

"No, mostly the people who bring us back take the things with us.  Or if we get free we walk out with it.  I've done that once.  Including with the guy's wallet."

"You stole from him?" he demanded.

"No, he stole me, I took his unlimited card to get my ass home," he said firmly, glaring at him.  "How did you expect me to get back to Philly from Singapore?"

Gibbs walked away, going back to his car. "I'm going to your place.  You'll be there within an hour, DiNozzo.  Then we're going to have this talk in private."

"Yeah.  Uh-huh," he agreed, waving.  He looked at Ducky, then around.

"You can't run.  He'll have you caught at the airport."

"I can leave before he realizes it."

"He's already called, Anthony," he said patiently.  "Come on, let's go.  I'll help you explain it."

"No thanks."  He walked off, going in the other direction, into the train station.

Ducky gave him ten minutes then called Jethro.  "Jethro, I might be a bit late."   He smirked.  "I thought you might have.  No, he just walked off.  I'm sure he's fine.  We'll be there soon."  He hung up and headed to find a cab and go to Tony's apartment.  Gibbs would have him drug back there soon.

***

Gibbs opened the door, taking Tony from the officer.  "What took you so long?"

"I had to take him back from the person who had him, Special Agent Gibbs.  Is he a suspect or a witness?"

"Neither, he's on my team."

"Who had him this time?" Ducky asked, bringing Tony a drink.  "I think we can do without the handcuffs," he said firmly.  The officer uncuffed him.  "Who had him?"

"I don't know, sir.  He doesn't speak enough English to understand the question 'what's your name'.  We're waiting on an interpreter.  Since we know he's a member of GHS, we know why he was taken.  My supe filled me in."  Tony grimaced at that.  "I'd go shower, sir, and let them look at that spot on your shoulder in case whatever he gave you is harmful."

"It's an endorphin enhancing drug," Tony told him.  "He knew a lot about us."  That got a nod. "Thank you for helping me, Officer.  As far as I know I'm the only one in town."

"That's fine, sir.  My supe used to work in Dallas.  He's had to help a few of you in the past.  If you need us, don't hesitate to call."  He walked off after nodding politely at Gibbs.

Gibbs closed the door.  "You were drugged?"

"An endorphin enhancing compound.  Nothing that'll get me popped if you test me for work."  He headed for the kitchen, finding a bottle of water to gulp.  When he was done with that one he got another one and a bowl of leftovers, sitting down to eat. "Sorry, missed lunch," he excused himself.  He ate another bite, wincing when Gibbs slapped him.  "It's not my fault, I was born this way," he said hotly. "I'm sorry you don't like it.  I'll have my letter on your desk first thing in the morning so I can clean it out before anyone else gets in there.  Anything else?"

"You're not leaving," Ducky said firmly. "There's no telling what might happen, Anthony."

"Xander said he'd come up for a few days," he defended.  "He'd let me have his spare room and Miami's really used to us.  They protect him wonderfully and I've heard there's some of us in the department down there.  Maybe I can find a new keeper."  He ate another bite and heard the growl, looking at his boss.  "What?"

"Don't pull attitude with me, DiNozzo."

"Oh, whine!" he shouted, getting up.  "I was *born* this way, Gibbs.  I've always been this way.  Before I had a better way of wearing it out.  Now I don't.  So I got backed up and I went to handle it.  Unfortunately they found me first."  He took his food into the bathroom, going to run himself a bath.  He'd finish it in there.  Gibbs walked in and took the bowl, putting it on the sink.  Then he stared at him.  "What?" he asked tiredly.

"How is this affecting your work?"

"I've had a lot of headaches, some mild confusion.  If I'm in danger it gets pushed back to the background unless I'm seriously backed up and radiating enough that I'm drawing dogs and random people.  I'm only halfway there at the moment.  I can guarantee you it's not going to keep going tonight.  I'm going to a whorehouse and I'll feel better."

"That's against the law."

"Sometimes it's necessary.  Unless you know someone who wants to have a lot of sex with me, boss?"  Gibbs backed off at that.  "That's the only thing that's going to wear it out of my system.  A lot of sex.  The last time I got this bad I nearly gave the person I was with a heart attack.  It was not a fun night in the ER."  He checked the water temperature and added some oil to it.  Then he pulled off his shirt.  "I'm going to bathe before I go out tonight."

"No, you'll talk to me," he ordered, turning off the water.  He turned Tony around, looking at his back.  "Did he stab you with it?"

"Snuck up behind me and stabbed me.  I was waiting at the train station when he got me."  He turned back on the water and looked at him again.  "It'll need to cool down some anyway.  For right now, I can't handle someone screaming at me.  I need to relieve some of what he did to me so I'm calm again.  Otherwise you'll be driving *me* to the ER."  He looked at him.  "Can we agree to that, boss?  Leave me alone for an hour?"

"You'll run again."

"Boss, right now I'm not good enough to figure out how to drive."  Gibbs stepped back.  He stood up.  "We're run over by our hormones and pheromones, boss.  Giving me something to hype my endorphins makes it feel like I'm drugged.  My head is swimming and there's only one way to get rid of it.  Since I doubt you want to watch me bring myself off a few times in the next hour, can you please leave?"

"Turn off the water," he ordered quietly.  Tony looked and turned off the water, taking off his belt. "We'll be in the living room and then we'll speak."

"That's fine. If a guy with really long hair shows up, send him back here.  That's Xander and he's a friend.  He's a level ten.  He lives like this every day of his life."  Gibbs snorted but left him alone.  Tony climbed into the tub, sinking into the oily heat.  The scent surrounded him, making him realize at the most fundamental levels that he was home.  This was mixed specially for him by someone and it always made him feel like he was at home.  He let the haze in his mind take him, letting it dictate what he could do to relieve this problem he had.

Out in the living room, Gibbs and Ducky ignored any and all moans, and even the yelp he let out once.  "How normal is this?"

"I would gather that would depend on what level you are," Ducky said patiently.  "The higher level, the worse your condition, and then the more chance you have of being taken."

Gibbs just nodded at that.  "So, how do the other guys fix this?"

"Keepers are lovers who end up being creative and strong enough to handle the mundane things that get away from them, Jethro.  I dare say even just a constant lover or two would help the boy.  That combined with his spa time and other things would help."

"Spa time?" he asked.  "They do things like that at spas?"  No wonder Kate and Abby went once a month!

"Jethro, they're all hedonists," he said plainly, giving him a look.  "You should meet some of the higher members, it would prove most enlightening."

"This convention...."

"I'd say there's some complaining about their keepers, about who stole them, things of that nature.  Some shopping trips if it's safe.  I've heard they have a room dedicated just to cuddling.  I'm assuming it's very comforting to them."

"Cuddling?"

"It is about all the pleasures," he said patiently.  He looked at him, then got up.  "Anthony, we'll be back in a few hours.  When you're done, go directly to bed.  We'll let ourselves back in."  He got an assenting noise so he walked back out and drug Jethro with him.  "Head for Baltimore, Jethro.  There's someone you should meet and I know she'll still be up when we get there."

He shrugged and got into the car, driving them wherever Ducky said so he had some *clue* what was going on.  He was still stuck at 'concubine' and 'sex'.  Though he did understand the nature of the club they ended up at.  He had played at being a dom now and then.  Ducky walked up to the bouncer and whispered, getting a nod and him calling someone.  They were shown to a small room.  Jethro looked up to find a woman staring at him.  "Hi."

"Hello."  She walked in and looked at Ducky.  "The reason you breached the silence?"

"Anthony had an unfortunate outing at work today and nearly got stolen twice.  This is his supervisor, Jethro."

"I've heard him speak about you, Gibbs."  She shook his hand, then casually sat across from them.  "You know the usual ways someplace like this would exist."

"I do.  What little I saw of the main room was a lot like places I've visited in the past."

"Hmm, but that's not all there is.  GHS members will *never* go to a dom."  Gibbs looked stunned.  "We won't.  Even those that need an absolute release won't.  I've learned how to manipulate their needs for pleasure to the same ends, but it's not quite the same."

"Yes, well, I've been floundering during my explanation," Ducky offered.  "He needs someone who can give him the truth about the society and young Anthony.  He's worried about work things."

"As he should be.  Boys as high up as Tony is...."

"Okay, start there.  I got lost earlier when Ducky said concubines."

"Ah."  She nodded, leaning forward.  "The society of GHS, or Greedy, Hedonistic Sluts, is an odd one.  We are the sort to revel in our natures.  We have no choice in the matter. If we don't, we get overloaded, we get stolen, and then you boys are usually castrated once you've 'married' whoever took you."  Gibbs shuddered at that. "That way you won't feel the need to cheat and you're in use solely for your new guardian.  In the normal relationships within the society, we're mostly like everyone else.  We have boyfriends or girlfriends.  Some of the members are bi, some aren't.  Some are male and some are female.  We have those who are members and those who are keepers or protectors."

"Protectors are like bodyguards?" he guessed.  This part he could understand.  This was like the dom/sub relationships he had seen in the past.

She nodded.  "Usually for the higher ones.  To put it simply, my lover, who is female," she offered with a smile, "is a level five.  That means her hormones don't have to rule her life as long as she's careful, takes precautions, and wears them out somehow.  Now, that can be smaller releases via pleasures like the spa and a massage.  Or it could mean larger releases like sexual releases.  She's not prone to backlogging as we call it, which would be when the full release isn't accomplished and you start to store them, but some level fives can now and then.  Backlogging is dangerous because that's when you get stolen.  Unless someone knows who and what you are.  That's why one member will never give another one away.  It's a security risk."

"Anthony told him to call Adam or Xander if something happened to him," Ducky offered mildly.

"Poor man," she sighed, shaking her head.  "Xander is a level ten, Gibbs.  Most level tens require at least four lovers daily, sometimes multiple times a day, to get back to the level of functioning.  Xander's making due with two but he'll never work again. He's comfortably set thanks to reparations and some odd job choices, plus those who actively court him."

"Four?" he demanded.  "How?"

She stared at him.  "The simple answer is that we rate ourselves on a scale of one to ten.  My lover is a five, as I've said."

"Tony is?"  She stared at him.  "I need to know in case something happens at work."

She stared at him. "He's a level seven.  Which means if they do work they only work from home," she said quietly.  "Were he a bit worse off, he might need two lovers to wear him out.  Level six is usually where most of us quit working.  Level sixes can work with the right wearing out.  Level sevens can as well, as long as they're wearing it out more consistently."

"You've seen his bounciness?" Ducky asked.  "That's an indication that it needs worn out better," he offered.  "The boy could use a good keeper."

"Tony could use a good keeper, or two.  He's got an incredible focus.  My lover and I have played with him now and then to help him.  I've had to help him when he's had surges in the past.  Those usually come from emotional moments.  In some cases from using them to defend yourself.  Boys like Xander can think themselves hard and consciously broadcast it at their attackers, dragging them to their knees panting."  Gibbs blinked at that.  "Boys of Tony's level can't usually but it's been known to happen."

"So....  This is all biochemical?"

"It is.  It's all about the hormones, pheromones, and pleasures in life, Gibbs."  She smiled.  "Tony's very unique.  There's only a handful of level sevens that work at all.  He's one of four that doesn't work from home and he's one of only eight that work in law enforcement in the society on the GHS side.  There's only three level fives or above who work in law enforcement.  One's a detective.  You have Tony.  Then there's a level six who's a crime scene person."

Gibbs considered this.  "So working for me is detrimental to him?"

"No.  Being without a constant lover is detrimental to him," she said firmly.  "Working is making him happy most of the time.  The last time I saw him he was babbling about you.  Though, the conventions are necessary for someone like him.  Even with a boyfriend or girlfriend I doubt he'd ever fully wear it out.  The conventions let us let go fully.  One of us always calls to another.  That's how we find each other. That and references from people who know.  Past keepers that got broken up with and the like.  Tony, if I remember right, was found in college.  He was tested, he met requirements, his blood tests all come out excellently every year."

"Blood tests?"

"No one with any incurable STD is ever allowed at any convention.  They have their own," she offered.  "They're not allowed at the main convention.  There's too much chance of being caught up in the moment and passing it on. A few years back Xander, sweet, adorable, lustful boy Xander, came back from somewhere with a new set of self-defense and dance lessons.  He gave a short demonstration and it caused an orgy within a few minutes."  Gibbs gaped. "It was the record for the first one in four years and for the shortest time into the convention ever.  It was during the greeting ceremony.  About thirty minutes into it."  He shuddered.  "We all had tremendous fun," she assured him with a smile.  "But that is why the STD tests are given."

"I guess it's necessary."  He considered it.  "How is Tony able to work?"

"I have no idea," she admitted with a fond smile. "You'd have to ask him."

"I'd assume it was with all that dating," Ducky offered, waving a hand around.  "A level seven should be able to go two days without, correct?"

"Two days is probably the advisable maximum.  I do know Tony's not wearing it out fully. He's making due and wearing it out as much as he can.  I also know he's had a few women who've walked home sore the next day."

"Do we think he's charging?" Gibbs asked.

"No."  He relaxed at that. "I think if you don't get him fully worn out, he's going to end up stolen for good."

"He defeated two today.  One young man from the diplomatic corps of Qatar and one Asian gentleman," Ducky told her.

"I've heard there's a few in Qatar who're looking for one of us to own.  To them, we're pets," she told Gibbs.  "To our keepers, we're their extra cuddly lovers."

He just nodded at that.  "Could DiNozzo wear this out daily?"

"With at least one very good and creative lover?  Yes.  His spa time would take care of any minor releases.  Stress can keep it down in a limited way.  Ducky, I know the society is looking for another research chemist.  Would you know anyone?"

"One or two.  Shall I bend their ears?"

"Please.  Xander's hormones spike horribly now and then.  There was talk that someone around him was making them spike.  The poor boy's got a normal keeper and a level six boyfriend.  He's still not wearing it out and it's getting tiresome, his words, to keep fighting off attempts."  Gibbs looked unamused at that.  "Xander's a unique situation, Gibbs.  Most level tens aren't as strong as him.  The other level tens have a house with a staff.  They have bodyguards.  They have at least two lovers and two more around them who sub in, plus some of the bodyguards now and then when it gets too bad I'm assuming.  The poor boy isn't getting what he needs and he's still surging, plus he's worn out people in the past.  He's one who was working in a brothel when they found him.  Apparently he was roadtripping to find himself and accepted a limited term contract and they realized what he was so they got the national head in to train him.  He's a sweet and charming young man.  Until you try to hurt one of his friends."

"Yes, Anthony's said that he likes swords," Ducky said with a small smile.

"The dances come with sword moves and it does lead back to self-defense," she admitted.  "My lover has a copy of the tapes from Tony and he worked with her on a few of them.   They're quite stunning, keep you flexible and strong, but the last time she did them she surged and we nearly got taken from the bedroom by some local gentlemen who wanted her."  She leaned back again, getting comfortable.  "For right now, the best advice I could give you would be to help Tony find a long term lover.  A keeper. Someone who would take care of him and any mundane matters that he'd have to deal with.  It would be safer for him.  I will caution you, doms and us do not get along very well.  GHS members don't bend as submissives, we break.  What makes us GHS, that little hormonal switch, means we'll never be a submissive," she said, staring at Gibbs.  "Now, one who's learned the ways of doing it with pleasure instead of pain, that has happened."  Gibbs groaned at that.  "At the moment, Tony needs someone to take care of him.  A caring and gentle lover who'll watch his bank accounts for him.  We're all prone to losing track of it."

"His father rather cured him of having that need," Ducky said bitterly.

"I heard.  He could sue."

"He could," he agreed, looking at Jethro.  "That's a later discussion between Anthony and his keeper however."

"Define break," Gibbs requested.

"When one lives and longs for pleasure, pain is even more intolerable to their bodies," she said simply.  He sighed at that.  "No, not you, Jethro.  Not unless you took up my side and even then I doubt you could handle it night and day.  He's said a great deal about your focus on your work and your boat," she said more gently.  "This would be like a very demanding marriage.  As I said, most boys of Tony's level do not work."

"I understand.  So for right now we need to find him someone to wear it out with?"  She nodded. "Do we know of any decent call-in services?"

"He does.  He's had to use them before.  I do believe he was worried you'd be disappointed and make an ultimatum."

"Oh, I am.  He's going to take care of this or he's going to be fired.   I can't have an agent who's distracted that way.  It could lead to his or someone else's death in the field."

"The injuries he's had and the times he's been taken on the job had nothing to do with this," Ducky said firmly.  "Up until a few months ago he had it under better control, Jethro.  Then the last person in DC left.  He's the only one in the city that he knows of."

"Baltimore's too far away for casual travel," she added.  "While he was here he had others who supported him better.  Plus the right to come here if he was surging or couldn't find them to help him."

Gibbs sighed at that.  "Okay.  So right now I need to find someone for him to screw, right?"

"You might ask Tony if that's what's needed," she said dryly.  "Now and then members find more release if they're the ones taking it.  It lets them release more fully and just experience it instead of doing all the work.  That's why Tony was carrying a small backlog before.  He was doing all the work."

Damn it.  Not what he wanted to hear either.  It was not giving him thoughts he wanted to have at the moment.  "Ducky, do you know anyone?"

"I'd suggest we let Anthony call someone in," he said, giving him a look.  "He's dealt with this for years and he's trained himself in how to handle this.  I do know he's talked with Xander in the past.  He likes the young man.  He's twenty-one I believe?" he asked her.  She nodded.  "Yes, twenty-one and has a long time of dealing with this for the rest of his life."

"Part of the training is realizing how we're surging or backlogging, what methods are best for us to deal with this, and the various ways it can come out to screw up our lives and be taken," she assured Gibbs.  She stood up.  "It may be that Tony may need to take a few days off to get back to normal.  Tony's not one they often come after.  Usually, like any predator, they'd go for weaker seeming prey.  Since Tony's one of the society's protectors he's not often like thought of like that."

"He was surging.  He had all the classic confusion, bounciness, headaches, all those signs," Ducky agreed.  "I sent him to find some relief and he got taken during it."

"Pity."  She sighed and shook her head. "Should he not be able to cure it tonight, bring him here tomorrow, Ducky.  We'll make sure he's fully worn it out so he can go back to work."  She looked at Gibbs.  "Conventions are *necessary* for him.  That's how we connect, talk about the problems, hear new scientific findings from our research panel, things of that nature, plus we get to have fun."

"If I can let him go I will," Gibbs said seriously.

"Thank you.  For tonight, let him let it out.  If he can't, bring him to me."  She nodded and walked out, leaving the door open.

Gibbs looked at Ducky.  "Since college?"  He nodded.  "All those days he couldn't concentrate?"

"He'd go do something to wear it out and bring himself back into focus."

Gibbs shook his head.  "He manages to focus through it."

"They can suppress it for a short time due to stress.  Otherwise they'd never be able to take themselves back if rescue wasn't an available option.  Shall we?"  Gibbs followed him out to the car, not minding in the least when Ducky took the keys.  He had to think now.

***

Tony woke up from his bathtub nap to someone knocking on the door.  "What?" he called, sounding hoarse.

"It's me," his neighbor Steve called.  "And someone else."

Tony got out and wrapped a towel around his hips, going to look out there.  "Was I too loud again?" he asked hesitantly.  Steve nodded.  "I'm sorry."

"Apparently it was good.  You being a screamer was fine.  You know this guy?" he asked, nodding at the brunette beside him.

"Kinda.  Hi, Xander."

"Tony.  You poor thing," he cooed, walking in and hugging him.  "Let me help you.  Them stealing you is not nice.  Thank you for verifying me, officer."

"You're welcome, sir."  He smiled and Tony grinned before closing the door.  He walked off shaking his head.  He had no idea what was wrong with his buddy Tony but he'd be finding out later.  Especially so he could pick on him about knowing a guy like that.  For some reason he decided to call his boss.  "Hey, Boss, it's Steve.  No, just ran into an odd guy so I thought I'd put him on the watch list.  Well, he's about twenty, he's got waist-length hair, and he said his name was Xander Harris?"  He paused.  "Excuse me?"  He listened to the longer explanation.  "Then how does he know my neighbor Tony?"  He slapped himself on the head.  "That explains a lot," he sighed.  "Sure, boss.  No, he's with Tony.  Tony's been loud all night so I'm sure they're comparing or something."  He smiled at the new noise.  "No, I don't think he'll be taken again any time soon.  Thanks, boss."  He hung up and went to take two aspirin for his headache.  Because if Tony had gotten loud, this guy was louder.  He heard Gibbs' car pull back in and went to stop him, shaking his head.  "He's got a friend in."

"Which friend?" Ducky asked, smiling at him.  "Has he been annoying you, Steve?"

"Me and the wife both but it inspired her.  Some nice guy named Xander?"  Gibbs just nodded at that. "So you know?"

"Now," he admitted.  Even he heard the scream of pleasure and winced. "Was that DiNozzo?"

Ducky shook his head.  "No, that was Xander.  Well, we shan't have to worry about him wearing it out this week," he said joyfully.  "Though we should call Monica and warn her he's here. Just in case someone tries to take him again."  Gibbs stared at him.  "Jethro, young men like Xander are never worn out."  A cruiser pulled in and parked, looking at them.

"Hey, Bobby," Steve called.  "My neighbor's having noisy sex."

"Yes, it's rather necessary though.  He nearly got taken hostage twice today," Ducky offered.

"Twice?  The boss only said he was taken once!"

"I'm not sure who solved the second one."

"Oh, the FBI agent tailing him did," Bobby said as he came over.  He heard another yell of pleasure and sighed.  "We should give him a warning."

Gibbs called Tony's cell, getting a panting young man gulping air to try to sound normal.  "We can hear you from outside.  Use a gag, DiNozzo."  He hung up and looked at him, weathering the laughs.  "It'll be solved within minutes."  Xander strolled out and leaned on the railing.  "You would be?"

"Leroy Jethro Gibbs, this is one Alexander Harris.  Mr. Harris, thank you for coming to help Tony."

"Sorry he's so loud," he offered with a grin, smiling at Steve.  "He's napping.  I knocked him out just now."

Ducky walked over.  "You should be careful of him, Xander.  He's a bit fragile since he had the plague a few months back."

"We heard. Greg got hellishly pissed at that."  He shrugged. "That's probably why he was so backed up. The convention's in Miami this year so I'm bringing him with me....  You're which one?"

"Oh, sorry, I'm Ducky."

"Ah."  He beamed and waved.  "He's spoken of you guys often."  He looked at Gibbs.  "You do realize why you cannot tell anyone else what you now know?"

"I do.  How often does this happen?"

"That depends, how often does he not have sex?"

"Point."  He nodded.  "We'll be back for breakfast, Mr. Harris.  Have my agent up and ready.  We'll talk about the convention then."

"Agreed, but I can easily kidnap him as others have tried.  I'm very good at getting myself out of things."  He headed back inside, his hair swinging behind him.

Steve shook his head.  "Tony's going to be very spoiled for a while," he told Gibbs, who snorted.  "I know that look.  My wife gets it whenever I'm sick.  That one likes to spoil."  He saw a car pull up and someone get out, a spiky blond guy wearing jeans and a heavy metal t-shirt.  "You are?"

"Greg.  Xander and Tony?"  Steve led him up there and Xander let him in.  "Ahhh, there's my trouble buddy," he said as the door closed.

"Yes, someone's going to be spoiled horribly," Steve said as he went back to his place.  His wife gave him a look.  "Tony's got two friends in."

"I can hear that.  Why?"

He sat down to talk to her about being GHS and what he had been told in the academy.

Gibbs and Ducky shared a look then they headed off, him dropping Ducky at home before going home to work on his boat and think.  Because he definitely needed to think.

***

Jethro walked into Tony's place the next morning, looking him over.  "You look tired."

"I could use a nap but Xander's making a fantastic breakfast.  Want some?"

"Sure.  Coffee?"

"That too.  I got warned you'd be over for breakfast."  He led the way back into the kitchen and the small table.  "Greg, Xander, this is my boss, Gibbs.  Boss, this is Greg Sanders, a former CSI out of Las Vegas who's been doing some minor temping in Miami and some of the society's research work.  The other is Xander Harris, a native of Miami."  Gibbs nodded at that and Greg handed over the coffeepot, earning a smirk.  "Thanks, Greg."

"You said he lived on the stuff."  He got comfortable again and pulled Tony down next to him.  "You can nap in a while.  For now, we need to make sure whatever the asshole gave you is out of your system."

"It is," Xander assured him.  "I made very good sure of that before I let him nap last night."  He grinned at Greg. "Just like I do you, dear."  He blew a kiss and Greg smirked back.  "Don't I?"

"You do.  The same as you wore Ryan out last night before you flew down."

"Um, guys, Gibbs doesn't need those sort of details.  He's straight," Tony said. "Sorry, boss.  Greg's been Xander's for over a year now."

"That's fine.  I don't discriminate based on where you put your dick, DiNozzo."  Tony relaxed at that.  "As long as you're not charging."

Tony laughed and nibbled on a piece of egg custard.  "Boss, if I did, I wouldn't be working for you.  I could live in a much better building than this one."

"Good to know," he said sarcastically but he was smirking.

"During my six week stint to find myself I had a number of people who paid over a hundred grand for an hour, Gibbs," Xander said seriously.  "Plus tips."  Gibbs nearly dropped his coffee at that.  "Members of the society don't become five buck blows on some street corner, even the few who end up drug addicts."

"Thankfully we got the last one straightened out," Greg reminded him.  "How is Tumie?"

"Better.  He was missing what had been his before.  When you go from being thought of as a demigod to being a semi-normal guy it's a jarring change.  Fortunately his keeper was watching out for him."  He gave Gibbs and Greg plates then dished up his own and sat down.  "There."  He smiled at Tony.  "It's got eggs, cheese, and sausage in there.  Eat."

"Yes, dear."  He dug in.  "So, boss?  Should I print out the letter of resignation I wrote earlier?"

"Not yet.  First I want to work on you getting control."

Tony nodded.  "I'd like that.  A lot most of the time."   Greg nodded.  "It's a lot easier to focus when you're not in a hormone haze or being taken for that reason instead of due to cases."

"Could this be why you're taken and injured so often?"

"No," Greg told him.  "There's CSI more prone to those problems than Tony.  They're perfectly normal so it doesn't really correlate back to his hormone levels.  That's more they see him as a threat or as a toy to get attention.  His hormones make people want to keep, protect, spoil, and have sex with him.  Not shoot him or stop him from working."  Gibbs relaxed at that and Greg smiled. "It's a curse of being effective.  Horatio down in Miami has the same problem.  His lover hates that he walks into hostage situations, drives through bomb scenes to rescue people, and all sorts of other dangerous things."

"I told him if he didn't quit I was spanking," Xander reminded him.

"You did and the look on his face is still in a picture in Eric's locker," he said with a smirk for him. "His boy might not like that but it's definitely stopped it recently."

"It's the anniversary of his family going back to Brazil this week," he said quietly.

Tony took his hand to hold.  "We'll go be there for him, Xander.  You know that," Tony promised.  "Boss, convention is this weekend."

"I heard.  I did some searching earlier.   You are going?"

"Of course I'm going.  If you tried to stop me you'd find my resignation on your desk," Tony assured him.  That got a small smirk and a nod.  "Sorry, boss, but this is too important to me.  Especially now."

"I can see why.  You're back to the agent I had that first year, DiNozzo."

"Boss, you've heard me having sex, you can use my first name in my house," he said firmly.

"Sorry, Tony."  He stared him down.  "If you want to continue on the team, I'm going to insist that you find a way to wear these out more often. I will not allow you into the field if you're a danger to yourself or others.  You being distracted is a danger."

"Understood.  I've been okay but since I was sick I haven't had the time or the energy, boss.  It's been one case after another.  I've barely been keeping a lid on it."

"With the hours we work," Gibbs started.

"Boss, even then I could take a lunch and go find someone to screw. I have in the past," Tony noted dryly.  "Even during cases as long as we get a lunch break I've run out for sex or massages in the past.  It's not often it happens, it's just been recently."

"There are some drugs that can make you surge," Greg reminded him. "Speed had that one painkiller that raised him three levels for a month.  He only took it for a week."

"His boy was very tired," Xander agreed dryly.  Greg nodded at that.  Tony just rolled his eyes.  "He was.  Did you get any painkillers?  Anything you hadn't taken before?"

"Mostly antibiotics."

"There was a painkiller given during the IV portion of your stay, DiNozzo.  You were in too much pain from coughing. They were hoping to ease the agony so you wouldn't die in pain."  Gibbs put down his fork and leaned on the table.  "We can check that for you."

"If I can get his medical records I can figure that out," Greg promised.  "I've updated the herbal list of things he should never take."

"They have one?"  Greg handed over a copy from his pocket.  "This is...."

"Fairly extensive," Xander agreed. "And really easy to screw up too.  Trust me, did that and nearly died."  Greg looked at him.  "That herbalist that got a year for malicious wounding charges?  He gave them to me after telling me they'd make me feel better.  They did so I gave them to Don and Horatio too."  Greg moaned.  "I ended up so lethargic I didn't really eat for a few weeks. Lost twenty pounds."  Tony stroked his hand, earning a smile back.  "It's all right.  I didn't know at the time."

"I used a minor dosage once to keep me from surging during an assignment where I absolutely knew I couldn't get these things worn out," Tony offered.  "There's ways of doing it."

"Yes, but he can go to Speed for that," Greg assured him. "He's not allowed to do it on his own.  I was told that."

"Sure," Tony agreed, looking at his boss. "It's like an allergy.  It starts by weeding out any backlog but it blinds you to however you monitor your output so you don't realize you're surging.  But after a few doses it can make you lethargic and slower."

"So you've taken a small dose to wear it out for a few days?" Gibbs asked.

Tony nodded.  "During a few undercover assignments.  I knew I wasn't going to be able to have sex during them."

"Then that's one thing to consider."

"Even if he should need to use it like that, it's going to start hurting him if it's more than once every few months," Greg offered. Gibbs looked at him.  "I'm on the research panel, Gibbs.  This is my area of study."  Gibbs nodded once at that and sipped his coffee.  "Eat before Xander pouts.  Thankfully he didn't bring any of the ferrets."

Gibbs dug back in, eating the decent food.  "You did good, kid."

"Thank you.  I usually have to cook for picky cops and Greg."  He grinned at Tony.  "Now, today, we're going to get you a full treatment at the spa.  It'll help ease it so you don't feel like you're surging to fill in the gaps I released for you."  Tony nodded at that, licking his fork.  "Then we'll pack and head to the convention."

"If you need to head back, I can watch over him," Gibbs assured him.  "We need to talk about work things anyway."

Xander looked at him.  "Did you ever hear of a town called Sunnydale?"  He stiffened and hissed, then nodded.  "I grew up there.  I helped Buffy for a number of years.  I'm also one of the better trained at self defense matters.  Even if Tony is the society's main tutor on that issue."

"He does?"

"Someone's got to," Tony agreed.  "It's a small way for me to make sure the others know how to protect themselves."

Greg nodded.  "He taught me self defense and the boys around Xander have helped me finish learning.  He's a good teacher, Gibbs."

"That's fine."  He looked at Greg.  "Are you a member or one of the other side?"

"No, I'm a level four."

"Then why aren't you working?"

"I am, I'm a research chemist at the moment."

"I was told you used to be a CSI."

"I was.  My department decided to rag on me and my boss decided I was a subject of study.  So I left."

"Oh.  Didn't mean to get that nosy."

"It's not your fault.  You need to make sure your guy can handle a field situation.  The best advice I can give you is to look at how he was doing until he got sick.  Also, we need to do the finger prick test, Tony, see if you are surging.  Even I can feel you.  After a night of Xander-lovin', you shouldn't be able to get it up.  Much less broadcast."  Tony gave him a scared look, glancing at Gibbs.  "It'll be fine."

"Gibbs, are you having any sudden thoughts of 'mine'ness about Tony?" Xander asked.  He shrugged.  "All right.  If I were to take Tony right now and head home to Miami...."

"I'd kill you and take him back," he assured him.  Then he frowned, glaring at them.  "How are you doing that?"

"That is a surge," Xander said.  "It's that problem that makes people want to take him and keep him.  Let's do the test so I can wear him out," he ordered.  Greg went to get the test kit and Xander got Gibbs some ice water. "Here.  It'll be lowered in a few minutes.  I need to know how far down I'm taking him."  Greg pricked Tony's finger and got to work on the test kit, adding a few chemicals from dropper bottles into the field kit sized test tube. It came back with a color reading and Greg read it but Xander already knew what it said.  "He's at nine?"  Greg nodded.  "Get his records and find out what made him surge.  Come on, Tony.  I'll let you eat more later."  He took Tony back into the bedroom and had his wicked way with him, making him grunt, thrust, beg, and finally wail when he couldn't get it up anymore but he was still lost in the haze.  Xander kept going until Tony passed out, then he curled up around him, stroking his stomach gently.  Greg came in to open more windows then left with Gibbs to get those records.

***

Gibbs and Greg walked back into the apartment, Gibbs frowning at the lack of noise.  He held a hand up and pulled his gun, but so did Greg.  He gave him a look and got a shrug, then they headed back to the bedroom.  Xander was tied down and gagged.  He was also asleep.  Greg got him undone while Gibbs checked the rest of the apartment.  "Xander?" Greg called.

"Greggy?" he said sleepily.

"Who took DiNozzo?" Gibbs said slowly and clearly.

"Not Qatar but east of there, but this side of India," he moaned, sitting up with Greg's help.

"Why didn't he take you?" Greg asked. "Usually everyone wants you."

Xander gave him a bleary look.  "He said I'm too high maintenance.  He was in the database.  Said a level seven was perfect for his son's needs."

"On it," Greg promised, pulling out his cellphone.  "Adam, Greg.  Not now, tell Ray to quit babbling happily too.  Tony DiNozzo got stolen.  Xander said the guy said he was too high maintenance but that a level seven would be perfect for his son.  Xander, how did you know he was east of the middle east but not to India?"  Xander gave him another look.  "Xander."  He nodded at Gibbs.  "Yay."

"He's the guy who was following Don.  Eric said so."

"He said Eric saw him, he was following Don," Greg said.  "Now.  DC.  Thanks."  He hung up and noticed Gibbs was walking off barking orders into his cellphone about sealing the airports.  "Private planes," Greg called.  "He's not going to fly him commercial unless he's pulling the old 'dead body' routine."  He checked Xander over, looking into his eyes.  "I need to have your blood analyzed, Xander.  You're not emoting at all."  Xander nodded, flopping backwards.  "Good boy.  You stay there.  Let me get a syringe from the car."  He went down to get the kit from the car that Adam had shown him how to use, coming back with some female following him. "Gibbs, she has a badge like yours."

"That's Kate, she's on the team.  Tony's been taken hostage by someone who wants to keep him."

"Okay.  Why?"

Greg stared her down.  "That's a need-to-know medical condition, ma'am.  Let's just say that he'll be keeping him instead of killing him."  She nodded at that and went to work finding him.  He drew blood from Xander, making him hiss.  "I know I'm not as smooth as Alexx or as Adam, but sorry.  Has to be done."  He withdrew the needle and put the bandage on, sliding the needle into his portable sharp's case and handing Gibbs the blood.  "If he's using what he used on Tony he's got to be more groggy.  Xander's an incredibly fast healer.  Most drugs last maybe a tenth of the time of what they do on regular people."  That got a nod and he made Kate go send it in to be run.  He looked over Xander, finding him back out again.  He pulled out his scene kit and got to work, finding a few fingerprints and one very telling thing.  "Gibbs, the rope on Xander's right wrist is wet, like he tied it with his teeth," he offered.  He bagged that and handed it over with the fingerprints.  Then he moved onto the regular places.  He knew Tony's usual outfits for the conventions and stuff was missing.  He checked the rest of the apartment then came back.  "He has blue linen pants.  Medium blue.  Have we seen them?"

"Not since he spilled blood on them," Gibbs offered.  "You were a CSI?"

"I was a level one CSI when I quit.  I temp in Miami now and then.  I'm waiting for a decent lab spot to open and I'm being picky since Xander needs me," he agreed absently.  He found another fingerprint and lifted it, then handed it over.  "Here.  It looks like he may have packed a small bit of clothes for him or made him get dressed.  One of the two.  Xander?"  Xander hummed.  "Did he have to dress Tony?"

"I put Tony in his lounging jammies again.  The ones with the sheep and clouds," he said tiredly.

"Can't we get him woken up?"

"I'm waiting to see how long it takes," Greg offered. "He's pretty reliable on the one-to-ten ratio of how drugs react."  That got a nod and Gibbs drove back to the office while Greg handled Xander for now.  "Someone's healing needs to kick in, Xander."  Xander glared at him but he still looked drugged.  "It's fine.  I'm here.  Relax and go if you have to."  Xander shook his head but he passed back out again.  "Wonderful.  The more you have to heal the faster that tumor comes back," he muttered.

***

Gibbs walked into Abby's lab.  "Here, a CSI gathered this for you."

"What is it?"

"Fingerprints and a very wet rope that the kid didn't chew on."

"Okay.  What kid?"

"Don't ask questions," he ordered.  "Just find him.  He has DiNozzo."

"Sure, boss.  Is it case related?" she asked as she moved to run the first fingerprint through the system.

"No.  It's related to how he was born."

"So, like a zodiac killer sort?"

"No," he said patiently.  "Ask Ducky.  Let me know as soon as you have something."  The computer beeped.  "A match?"

"Yuppers.  One fingerprint match to a Visa.  A student visa."  He came over to look at it.  "Hmm.  Kahzistan.  Not much trouble from that region."  She finished pulling it up.  "Let's see.  He's into oil.  Why would he be at Tony's place."

"Run the others, see if they match," he ordered, heading off.  He went back upstairs, finding Kate pacing and talking to someone.  "Anything?"

"The two main airports haven't reported anything."

"Look at flights heading to the Middle East or just east of it.  Abby said one fingerprint came from a student visa coming from Kahzistan."

"Sure."  She came off hold.  "Look at Middle Eastern....  Yeah, there."  She wrote down the number. "You let it leave?"   She sighed. "Where is it refueling?"  She nodded and made notes on that.  "How many others?"  She made two more notes.  "Thank you."  She hung up and presented the list.  "There's three flights within the last hour.  Two took off within two minutes of the alert being ordered.  One's unlikely since it's across the city from Tony's place.  Anything?"

"Abby's running it.  The blond guy was a CSI who was helping Tony and the other guy with something."

"Guys?"

"It's a long and complicated story," he admitted, looking over as McGee ran in.  "Late."

"Sorry, boss, I was in Anacostia," he panted, putting down his bag. "What's happened?"

"Someone took Tony," Kate told him.  "I'm hearing things about a mysterious CSI and another guy Tony was helping."

McGee swallowed.  "Boss, is this *fraternity* related?" he asked, stressing it.  Gibbs gave him a long stare.  "I knew why he was bouncy, boss.  I knew a keeper back at MIT."

"It was.  Kahzitan?"

"Not a clue.  As long as they're rich enough to pull it off.  Let's hope they don't force the usual claiming ceremony on him and castrate him before we can rescue him."  A blond guy came off the elevator.  "And you are?"

"Greg Sanders, former CSI from Vegas."  He looked at Gibbs.  Then he held up the notes he had taken.  "Xander got a bit more lucid.  He's in the car so no one new can go after him.  Adam said Paul's on standby for whenever you need him.  He's got an extraction team.  Even if Tony professes undying love he's coming home.  Adam said so.  This is the IP of the hacker.  Adam said none of our people could do a thing with it."  McGee snatched that.  "We also know that there was at least one guy and guards.  Xander said he was tied down by one and then gagged by someone else.  They were wearing different clothes.  Tony's clothes were switched to a silk set of pants and a t-shirt.  Plus sneakers.  They wanted him to look like he was ill and being taken home for treatment."

"Good.  Thank you."  He took the rest of the list and looked it over.  "Kate, search them," he ordered. "Get with Abby about the fingerprints."  She headed down there.  "Can we question Xander yet?"

"Not really.  He's still pretty groggy and lethargic.  That means they used something on that list."

"Xander?" McGee asked as he typed.

"Harris."  He looked at him.  "I'm a member."

"I knew a keeper."

"They passed over a level ten to get a level seven.  Xander said the guy told him he was too high maintenance but that he thought a level seven was perfect for his son."

"That means he hacked the database at the society.  I'll get on that.  Do we know the computer person's name?"

"Adam did it but the's not that great.  He has problems coding and basically goes through a composer program so he doesn't have to.  That's the only unfamiliar IP that logged onto the system according to the records they keep.  Paul said so."

"Can I get that list from Paul?" McGee asked.

"You can.  His email's at the bottom."  He looked at Gibbs again.  "What can I do to help?  Xander's being taken home tonight after you're done questioning him.  One of the Miami protectors is coming up.  Just in case there's one here who wants him.  He has a real problem with diplomats now and then.  We've caused three different incidences in Miami but it helped Horatio get a drug dealer with immunity."

Gibbs nodded.  "Bring him up here.  We'll question him.  They can come here to get him."

"Fine."  Greg went to do that with one of the security guards he motioned to follow.  "This was a fellow kidnaping victim.  The drugs are still wearing off.  The guy took DiNozzo."  The guard nodded and helped him carry Xander upstairs to the interrogation room.  "Thank you.  I'll stay here with him unless Gibbs needs me as a CSI."

"Yes, sir."  He went to tell Gibbs.  "Sir, the CSI is in interrogation two with the other young man."

"That's fine.  Expect a cop to come looking for them," he said, heading down there.  He found Xander curled up in the chair chewing on the end of his braid.  "Thinking hard?"

Xander hummed and looked at him, still looking tired.  "Very.  Did I mention one guy had a beard?"

"You did," he agreed.  "It was a good job."

"I'm not used to normal people kidnaping me.  The last one who got me was purple with green spots and looked like a stalk of corn."  Gibbs stared at him.  "Long story.  It's part of the Sunnydale stuff."

"How did you know about that town?"

Xander looked at him.  "I was born there, Gibbs."  That got a harsh stare.  "I was part of the defensive action when the high school got blown up.  I was also part of the defensive action when the Initiative went down.  I didn't like them torturing a friend because he went grr now and then.  Or the others they tortured for going grr."

"I saw the files.  I had to debrief them."

Xander smirked. "I had shorter hair then."

"I would like some gaps filled in.  That action was called a terrorist one."

Xander sat up, glaring at him.  "They were torturing others for existing.  They were the fucking terrorists, Gibbs.  If you don't like it, yay.  I can give you a site online that has video footage of what they did.  They endangered thousands of your regular military's lives."  He stood up.  "Got a laptop?"

"We can use the one next door."  He led him in there, letting him type in the address. He stared at the footage of testing, then turned and gagged.  "What is that?"

"That's what your terrorists were doing.  That's what we stopped.  They did it to a friend of ours," he said firmly. "What did they say they were doing?  Mind control?"  He walked back into the other room, finding Greg still in there.  "I hate it when Sunnydale comes back to haunt me."

"Me too," Greg said calmly.  "Calm down.  We'll find Tony.  We'll keep you protected. Flip the switch the other way, Xander.  You're safe with me."

"No one should've been able to get to Tony either," he said shrilly.  "It's not like I'm not trained!"

Gibbs came back in.  "How did they get you?"

"I looked up from sliding the pajama bottoms back onto Tony's hips and found one guy standing there.  The next thing I knew, I was groggy, Greg was waking me up, and I have these dream-like impressions of people."

"Okay, from the top," Gibbs ordered.  He sat down and pointed.  "Sit."  Xander sat and looked at him.  "We left how long before then?"

"Tony passed out about forty minutes after you guys left," he admitted.  "I remember marking the time on the clock so I would have enough time to get him fully worn out so you would quit being affected.  If he was surging that way, whatever they gave him yesterday had something on the list.  It mutes our ability to sense surges."

"Okay. We didn't take blood yesterday."

"So?  It's herbal. It won't wear out that soon.  Greg?"

"Probably within a week," he agreed.  "I heard Horatio took about four days to get some accidental exposure out of his so he was functioning again and the drug test two weeks later caught a hint of it but they couldn't identify it.  They decided it was the herbal crap you got given by that herbalist."  Xander moaned and nodded.  Greg rubbed his shoulders.  "Untense, Xander.  It's time to let it go, let it out, and concentrate."  Xander nodded, thinking.  "You were knocked out how?"

Xander closed his eyes. "I felt a pinch to my arm when I saw him. Here," he said, covering the area.  Gibbs and Greg both looked.  "Is it showing up?  It would've closed by now."

"It's closed," Gibbs offered. "Why do you heal so fast?  DiNozzo doesn't."

"That's a whole different issue," Greg told him.  "Nothing to do with GHS.  That's a Xander peculiarity."  That got a nod.  "Okay.  So you felt the pinch?"

"Then I felt myself being tipped or lowered.  Like I was paralyzed but being moved?  That odd floating sensation."  He looked back.  "Like what the orange thing used."

"Okay.  You had some mild ability to see what was going on then.  What do you remember next?"

"I was being tied up and I heard someone else in the room.  Then the voice whispering about being too high maintenance."  He frowned at Gibbs again.  "That's not usual.  Usually they'd take the higher one. Maybe he's had another of us around before?"  He shrugged.  "It seemed like he knew how high maintenance a level ten GHS member is."  Someone else came in and he looked at the redheaded woman.  "What?"

"Who is this, Special Agent Gibbs?" she asked.

"This is the guy who was with DiNozzo when he got knocked out and taken, Director.  Xander, this is my director, Jen Sheppard."

Xander nodded.  "Hey."  He looked at Gibbs again.  "I remember the guy who whispered didn't have a beard, I'm incredibly tactilly open at the moment, but the one who checked it later did. I felt it scratch against my hand.  For some reason I wanted to say he looked like a viking?  Maybe a darker blond?"

"Like Ryan's hair?" Greg asked.  Xander nodded.  "Okay.  Not common if they're Middle Eastern or farther over. So maybe a hire of the family.  It could help us narrow it down."  He went back to rubbing his back.  "Anything else you remember seeing?  Or felt?"

"Yeah, the guy drew something on my side," he said, standing up and taking off his shirt, looking at his side.  He pointed at the red marker.  "That."

Gibbs looked. "Get McGee in here with a camera."  Greg dug out his and handed it over.  "You're handy."

"I try."  They took pictures of that mark and the other one they found on Xander's other side. "No, this one I know," Greg said finally.  "This is one of Xander's suddenly appearing psychos."  He frowned at him.  "Did you feel any changes in air pressure?  Anything that would mean someone came in later?"  He shook his head.  "You didn't have this last night."

"It was this morning I think.  I'm all confused but I got up around four to get some air.  I think it was then.  I remember blacking out a bit and coming back in just off the same spot."

"You didn't say anything about that," Gibbs noted dryly.

"Not part of this.  This goes back to the other stuff," Greg told him.  "Unless you've been there, you wouldn't understand, Gibbs."

"I think it might be very important.  If this is the same person," she started.

Xander looked up.  "You might wanna show up.  I can feel you watching."  The demon appeared and looked at him.  "Thank you.  You didn't take Tony, right?"  He shook his head.  "How can I trust you?"

"I'd give my life for you but he is not for me. He does not draw me," the demon said, his voice deeper and gravelly.  "You are one who has hunted and survived.  You would make a fine consort.  Your harem and you would be much honor to my family."

Xander looked at him.  "And the fact that you can't touch us without causing trauma?"

He frowned.  "I would only desire to watch."

"Take it up with Danny.  He's my keeper.  He has to agree."  That got a nod and he disappeared.  He looked at Gibbs again. "He's who drew the other one on me."  A plate of food appeared in front of him.  "Human stuff?" he called.  It was exchanged for meat, cheese, and crackers.  "Thank you. This is a nice gift."  He nibbled on a piece of meat, then on a corner of a cracker, then on some of the cheese. "It's all good.  Want some?" he asked, letting Gibbs have the plate.

"Do you ever do things the easy way?" he asked dryly.  He wasn't used to this but you couldn't be mad at the kid for this stuff happening around or to him.

"No.  I wasn't born to easy ways.  I was born to people who believed I was an improper sacrifice to their lifestyle."  That got a nod and Gibbs ate a piece of it.  Then he let Greg have some.  "Madam Director?"

"No, thank you," she said coldly.  "How do you know about the terrorist action in Sunnydale?"

"Gee, I don't know how I know about the military sending terrorists to the town I was born in to torture some of the residents for existing," he said dryly, staring her down, making her back up a step.  "I tell you what, I'll ask my friend Oz, who they tortured, and the one they named Hostile Seventeen who happens to be named Spike.  Let me get back with you on that."  She gaped.  "Now, bitch, get out of my face.  I'm not exactly in a great and pleasant mood and unless you want me to hormone bomb this fucking building I'd leave the work to those who're actually qualified.  Because I know women who're a lot more qualified than you are."  She backed up another step and he stood up.  "Anything else?"

"Sit," Gibbs ordered.  "Don't pick on her.  She's been out of the field for a while."

"Yay!  She reminds me a lot of Willow."  He sat down and Greg went back to his neck, making him groan. "Thank you, Greggy."  He patted his hands.  "Gibbs, if I had more recollection I'd give you whatever I have.  Tony's said some incredible things about you."  McGee walked in, whispering in Gibbs' ear.  "Any luck?"

"Two bits of luck.  One was in your profile and he's in Miami right now. The other one is a registered owner of a plane which took off about four minutes before the alert went up."  He looked at Gibbs again.  "So if it wasn't him he probably knows."

"Agreed.  Can we stop him?"

"Call Paul," Xander ordered. "Have him have the plane stopped wherever they refuel.  He's got Special Forces contacts all around the world plus the GHS network.  Plus probably some more illegal contacts as well.  He can get them stopped and brought to the nearest NCIS office."

McGee smiled. "Already done that, Mr. Harris."

"Now and then I have to handle retrievals for the family.  Or myself."  He looked at Gibbs again.  "Anything else?" he asked calmly.  "If not, I should probably go to a hotel where I'm more secure."

"You're perfectly secure here," the director said, glaring at him.  "How did you arrange that?"

Xander looked at her, then snorted and said something quietly, then looked at her.  "There, now you remind me of Buffy."

Gibbs looked, then blinked at the suddenly blonde hair.  "Director, maybe you should go fix that?"  She looked in the one way mirror then shrieked and rounded on him.  "I think he's proven that he's capable of handling himself.  Don't you?"

"He's still wanted in connection with that terrorist...."

Xander stood up again and grabbed her by the hair, walking her back to the other room to replay the video.  "We were stopping people doing that.  We weren't the terrorists, stupid.  They were. That thing they're ripping apart at the seams was probably about the equivalent of a twelve-year-old. They didn't care and they did it to others.  Including some humans who had skills.  Including some who were just born different."  He clicked on another link.  "How do you think that child felt?  Just because he's got a problem with turning furry three days a month."  She got sick at that.  "That's right, bitch, they tortured children. They got off doing it.  In that case you can even see one of them masturbating on the kid's dead body at the end.  You wanna think I'm a terrorist?  That's your shit.  Not mine.  I saved lives.  If they were there, they were torturing bastards. If they weren't I have no problem with them.  And yes, we put this footage up after we hacked it."  He let her go and watched her go throw up in a corner.  "Anything else, Director?  Because you're hindering the search for one of your agents by being a peckish bitch now."  He walked back into the other room. "I wouldn't suggest watching the other tape."

"I didn't like the first one.  Why were they doing that?"

"Because they wanted the to take the place of some soldiers."

"We would've hated that," Gibbs admitted.

"I hated them.  They got friends."  He shrugged.  "Can I help more or should Greg take me to a hotel and watch over me until my protector comes so you can borrow him?"

"I'll borrow Greg but you're staying here."

"Sure.  In here here?"

"No, McGee, take him to your desk."  Xander nodded and grabbed his plate, heading off with him.  "Sanders."

"Yeah, Gibbs?"  He smirked. "Yes, I'm the same Sanders who did DNA out there."

"Good.  Go help Abby in the lab."

"Always happy to help when it's necessary."  He grabbed his bag and went down to where he pointed at, walking in.  "Beauteous one, I'm Greg Sanders, former CSI level one out of Vegas.  Gibbs said to come help you since I gathered the evidence."

"What is going on? Two of these people come up with locked profiles," Kate said loudly.  "And who are you to come in here?"

"Call Gibbs," he suggested as he put on some gloves.  "As of this moment, I'm a research chemist who happens to be a fully trained CSI.  I came up to help Xander help Tony this week.  I trained in Las Vegas after a few years of being a DNA god for them.  I also sub in down in Miami for Horatio when he needs me."  He walked over to help her.  Kate tried to grab him.  "I wouldn't, lady.  Call Gibbs if you want orders from him like he gave me."  He looked at Abby, then bowed.  "Beauteous one."

"Greg," she said, smirking at him.  "One of the fingerprints was yours."

"Cool.  I was in there to help Tony.  From his bedroom?"  She nodded.  "Huh.  Well, I did crash on the foot of his bed last night," he admitted.  He shrugged.  "Maybe.  Bathroom, or bedside table?"

"Bedside table."

"Yeah, I levered myself up off it when I got up."  He shrugged. "It happens.  Call Gibbs?"  She called him, putting him on speaker.

"Gibbs."

"They're mad and one's huffing."

"That's CSI Sanders.  He's helping you," he ordered then he hung up.

"Okay, what can I run to help you, Abby?"

She smiled.  "Do the rope?"

"Sure.  DNA was my first love."  He got to work on it, sectioning off a little piece and finding the solutions he would need.  "Testers?"  She pointed.  He got one down and got to work on a side workbench.

"I can't believe you're letting him help!" Kate said angrily.  "He's a suspect!"

"Kate, I was there to give Tony a massage this morning after Xander got him calmed down," he said patiently.  "Not for any other reason.  It's not like I want to hurt Tony.  I've known Tony through a mutual support group now for a few years."

"Xander...  His name came up too."

"He's at McGee's desk," Greg said dryly.  "Or that's what Gibbs called the dark haired young geeky guy?"  He looked at her and got a nod.  "He was the guy who was knocked out when they took Tony.  He just went off on your director."  He got back to work.

Abby and Kate shared a look and Kate went back upstairs with the list of names they had found so far.  "Gibbs, Tony doesn't clean very well.  He had some fingerprints from past girlfriends and a few guys."

"What's to say they didn't come back?  Mine do," Xander noted dryly from his spot on the floor.  "I've had a few lovers who've come back after a few years even.  Mostly to plague me."

"That's a bad word around here," McGee said quietly.

Xander looked at him. "I heard.  Tony and I talked for a long time last night.  He needed to."

"Who are you?" Kate demanded.

He waved a hand.  "Xander Harris."  He looked at Gibbs.  "Did anyone get an email from Miami yet to say who was coming up?  That way I can warn you if it's Eric because he's got a temper now and then."

"They said Ryan."

"Wolfe.  He's a good CSI and a former patrol officer," Xander offered.  "He's also my main trouble buddy.  He gets stolen with me all the time," he sighed, shaking his head.

"Stolen?" Kate demanded.

"Stolen."  He stared at her, then at Gibbs.  "Should I clue her in about the group?"

"No.  Kate, it's about a hormone condition he has.  Being around Tony let some of it out on him, basically from transfer, and they took Tony because of it."

"Huh?"

Xander sighed and got up, letting her sniff his wrist.  "Smell."  She did then she swooned.  He looked at her.  "That's why people want to take me.  I get stolen a lot.  It transferred onto Tony when I came up to help him last night and that's why they came after him.  Now, your teammate is in deep fucking shit, woman.  People like me who get stolen that way often end up castrated and broken.  Or dead. Work faster by not complaining."  She huffed off to her desk.  He sat down again and went back to nibbling.  A chocolate bar appeared.  "Thank you," he whispered.  He said a silent prayer to Cupid that Tony would be all right this time too.  He looked at Gibbs. "Have we checked to see if anyone's had an undue interest in his action against his father about his inheritance?"  Gibbs and McGee both stared at him.  "I know he filed to get it back from the family. That would've been one way to get his home address.  Unless they hacked here? Or someone sold him?  Your boss isn't the first one who would've done something like that for political gain."

"We're in the middle of switching over," Gibbs admitted.  "I doubt she would have."

"It's still a thought.  These people believe that they have the right to keep us like pets.  Very expensive pets. The last one who had me ended up giving up his life and all the assorted crap he had piled around me to convince me to stay and not kill him."

"You took it?" McGee asked.

Xander looked up and nodded.  "I did.  I figured it was a very strong lesson in why you don't take us.  Also, I deserved it for having to listen to his bad poetry about my brown eyes and hair."  He played with his braid again. Then something big and heavy landed beside him.  "Huh."  He unwrapped it and looked up.  "I need this?"  Another candybar appeared.  "Great."  He handed it to Gibbs and got up to fully unwrap his sword.  "Sorry, it got delivered."

"How?" Kate asked, looking pissed.

"The same way I had my snack.  The guy appeared."  He shrugged. "Not a clue otherwise.  I don't get into the theory behind magic, I only make plants grow and change hair colors."  He looked at Gibbs.  "I'm really sorry if something has to happen here.  I'll defend myself so you don't have to worry about finding me too.  Concentrate on Tony if I do get taken.  Greg and my guys will find me."  That got an amused look, and that's when the lights went out.  "See?"  They heard a door open and Xander backed against a wall, giving McGee a shove.  "Back off.  In case I have to use it."

"Sure."  He moved to the other side of his desk carefully. He heard footsteps and vaguely saw a shadow moving.  It was dark outside so no firmer outlines were shown.  Apparently the streetlights were down too.  He heard a yelp.  "Xander?"

Xander grunted and swung, taking someone's hand off.  Then a head.  Then another hand.  He growled something and the lights came back on.   He looked at the dead bodies, then at the two standing nearby.  "You wanted what?" he demanded coldly.

"You."  He pointed a gun at him.  "Come with us and you won't be harmed."

"Oh, yeah, because I believe psycho stalker shit," he said dryly, wiping off his blade on the fabric that had been wrapped around it. "You broke into a federal building."

"No, I had passcodes."

"Freeze," Kate said, pulling out her gun.

"Let him," the director called.

"No thanks.  Not my thing this week."  One of the guys sneered and grabbed at him, getting a sword in the shoulder, making him howl and roll around with the others on the floor.  Xander waved the last guy on.  "Come on, little boy.  I'm sure you think you've got a big enough set.  Let's see."  The guy reached for something and Xander lunged, attacking him.  The guy backed up, trying to dodge it while Xander got his hand reaching for the gas canister.  He coughed but he managed to kill that guy.

Gibbs got the alarm going and the fans were started to suck the gas out.  He grabbed Xander, taking the blade as he passed out in his arms.  The others backed off and he retreated with him.  "What the hell, kid?" he muttered.  Guards came running up.  "Gas cloud," he called.  That got a nod and one put on a gas mask so he could put the gas canister in a small plastic box.  He got it sealed and they finished airing out the floor.  Gibbs stood watch over the kid.  Something was seriously wrong here.  He looked up at the director.  "Why leave them alone?"

"They were here to take him away for what he did earlier."

"No, that wasn't.  That was an extraction team," he said dryly.  "That wasn't a legal arrest.  McGee, Kate, go get her.  Find out what she knows.  I'll call Morrow."  He went to deal with this, calling the lab.  "Abby, is Greg busy?  If not, send him up."   A young man came off the elevator.  Dark blond.  Fit, carried himself like a fighter.  "Hold on.  Turn on the security system up here, see if he knows the guy with the guards."  He listened then nodded. "Let him.  He's the guy from Miami coming to take care of Harris."

"Sure," one agreed, getting out of his way.  "How did you get here so fast?"

"Divine intervention," he said, looking totally serious.  He walked over and looked at Xander, then at Gibbs.  "I'm Ryan Wolfe, CSI out of Miami.  I've got him, go get checked out."  That got a nod and Gibbs left. Ryan pulled Xander up, slapping his face.  "What the hell, Xander?"

Xander blinked at him.  "How did you get here so fast?" he asked in a little boy's voice.

"Hera."  Xander nodded at that and passed out again.  "Yeah, this'll be a good night."  He sat him down in a corner and sat beside him, cleaning off his sword.  "I want to know who they are.  We keep a list of threats to Mr. Harris in Miami."  The guards gave him an odd look.  One came over. "He's a member of GHS," he said quietly.

"Oh!  No wonder!  Sure, sir, I'll get on that once they find out who took Agent DiNozzo."

"Sure.  I agree, finding Tony's more important."  That got a nod.  "Can I help?"

"Ask Gibbs, sir."

"Thanks."  He looked around.  "That one?"  That got a nod.  "Tony described him well."  He stood up and looked at Xander, then at Gibbs when he came back.  "Can I help?"

"No.  We have Greg.  You take care of that one."

"Gladly.  Not the first time. I know these ones might be on the list we keep down in Miami."

"They could be but I think there's another issue.  Watch out for incoming FBI agents."

"Mention his name.  He and Greg had to deal with one named Heartstone over him rescuing Greg in the past.  They might know Xander too."

"Sure, Mr. Wolfe."

"Ryan's fine, Gibbs."

"Ryan then.  Do you have a specialty?"

"Ancient weapons.  Trace."

"Interesting."

"It's a Xander thing.  He uses a sword so the whole group uses one to help him practice.  I'm just the best of us."  That got a smirk and a nod.  "Anything I can do to help, let me know."

"Agreed."  He went to check with Ducky, then with Abby.  "Anything?"

"That Paul guy called back.  He's got people waiting to stop the plane.  Illegal people but they'll work.  Who was that?"

"I'm still trying to figure that out.  Abby, once you can, run these new guys' prints. I want to know if they're related."

"Sure, Gibbs, but I can already tell you they're not. I took the last one's picture from the video camera and ran it through Customs and came up with a local guy who's in the diplomatic corps out of the UAE."

"This is the third time someone from there tried for Xander," Greg said, grimacing. "Still nicer than the guy who came from the upper regions of Thailand.  He wanted to castrate Xander within minutes of having him.  Xander has hairpins that're sharp for a reason.  We like that idea now.  No matter how many times you get stuck by them in the middle of the night."

"You're sleeping with Xander?" Abby asked.

Greg looked at her.  "Know anything about GHS members?"  She made a high, squeaky noise.  "Xander's a level ten."

"Oh," she squeaked, eyes wide.  "Wow.  I thought you guys were urban legends."

"No, I'm very real," he assured her with a grin.  "I'm a level four."  She sniffled and hugged him.  "Thanks.  Don't let Ryan catch you.  He's got possessive bitch syndrome about us whenever he's got to do a rescue or guard us."  She blushed brighter and got back to work.  "I can run prints if she's busy, Gibbs.  I'm waiting on the tests to finish running for DNA."

"I'll keep that in mind.  Let me know as soon as you have anything, Abby, or you, Greg."  He headed to the morgue.  "They still here?"

"I hope they'll stay," Ducky said firmly.  "Who had the sword?"

"Xander.  One appeared."  Ducky groaned at that.  "The same as his dinner did."

Ducky sighed and nodded.  "Yes, well, he has been involved in stopping the worst of the demonic for years now, Jethro, and it's made some of them want him as a trophy.  The same as our new director apparently did.  For stopping the bad things in this world from going on longer."  They shared a look.  "Did we find out if she sold one or both of them?"

"She sold Tony," Kate said from her seat in the corner.  They both stared at her.  "Yes, I'm hiding from the man with the very long hair.  Before I start to ask questions apparently I'm not supposed to know anything about?  Gibbs?  Ducky?"

"It's a matter of personal safety," Ducky told her.

"For the guy with the long hair or for Tony?"

"For the guy with the long hair.  Tony got it via transfer," Gibbs told her.

"Really?  Then why is he bouncing the exact same way Tony does?  With the same levels of  mental focus - emergency and smut?"  She walked over to join them.  "Not to mention that the guy's clearly sleeping with that Greg guy and this new guy?"

"Xander's got a very delicate hormone and pheromone condition," Ducky told her.  "He has to wear it out or else his system is thrown out of whack and he starts to broadcast.  Unfortunately Tony managed to get some of it transferred onto him.  He and Xander are relatively old friends."

"For that matter, I've heard him speak about that Greg guy," Gibbs offered.  "So have you.  The convention in Vegas?  I have a feeling it's the same Greg."

"Uh huh," she said, staring at him.  "Then how does a DNA expert and CSI from Las Vegas and Tony end up knowing each other, Gibbs?  It's clear he's not like Tony.  I looked at his profile online.  He's never been a frat brother to Tony's fraternity."  She stared at him.  "Why am I not allowed to know?"

"Because it could endanger DiNozzo further, Kate."

"Why?" she shouted, sounding frustrated.  "What is going on!"

Greg leaned in.  "Abby said to tell you this, Kate.  If we tell you, he'll never come back, even if we do get to rescue him.  She said this is one of those times that the knowledge would be very uncomfortable for you and make it nearly impossible to work with Tony ever again. I can tell you this much, you can ask Tony when you get him back.  If you do and you have nightmares, it's your own fault."

"You're part of the gay guy's harem or whatever?" she demanded, walking over to pull him inside the morgue.

"I am. I help take care of Xander.  If we don't, his hormones are probably strong enough to start affecting parts of Miami just by him waking up with a morning stiffie."  She blushed at that.  "What's going on is something so basely elemental to the human body that everyone has it.  Some have hyperactive hormones and pheromones.  Xander's one.  I'm one.  That's how Xander and I met.  He's got a worse problem and a few of us help him wear out his and it keeps us worn out."

"Does Tony?"

"One of the tenets of the support group we belong to is to never talk about another member.  Doing so means that someone can overhear and go after them.  In this case, the person passed over Xander to take Tony.  He told Xander he was too high maintenance.  Now, within the group there are people who have the problem and people who guard those who have the problem, plus boyfriends, girlfriends, and spouses.  Ryan falls on one side and I fall on another."

"You're his spouse?" she demanded.

"No, his main boyfriend isn't going for spouse.  We've settled into a phase where we're getting Xander to the point where he's worn out most days.  It takes three of us to do that with occasional help from Ryan, but it cuts down on the pheromones that get guys like Xander and I kidnaped.  Tony got it in transfer from Xander.  They decided he'd take less maintenance than Xander does."  He shrugged. "Personally I don't think Xander's as high maintenance as he could be.  Most of the guys at his level of output live as the head of a harem.  They don't do anything but indulge it all day to wear it out.  Xander's able to do a lot more than that, mostly because Danny and Don make him.  Ryan also makes him.  Xander could be some shrieking little girl on a silk pillow but he's not."

"Tony knows about this problem?"

"He does.  He's had to help others in the past with it.  He's also great at teaching members on both sides of the issue how to defend themselves and the people with the condition.  When I ended up quitting my former department over mine, I became one of the research people for the society.  I met Tony at some conventions.  The same as Xander did."

"So does he have it or is he a former supporter of someone?"

"Again, Kate, we don't talk about other members.  Beyond what you already knew.  While I can tell you about myself and I have Xander's permission to explain this using him, I can't tell you about any other member because you're a security risk.  All you have to do is talk about this subject and mention another name and then we'll be helping rescue them."  She shuddered at that.  "Speaking as a one of Xander's guards, he's saved himself about sixty times in the last year alone.  The rest of his family have added another ten, twelve.  He and Ryan get stolen together all the time.  Ryan's one of guarding ones in case you were wondering.  They're best friends.  Even if it's Xander and I, usually we're still guarded by Ryan.  That's why they sent him."  He grinned at her.  "It's not as fun of a life as everyone thinks it is.  Yeah, we get a lot of presents, a lot of attention.  Xander gets given jewels and chocolates all the time by people who want him and the rest of us.  He's made it very clear if he takes anyone on, it's going to be all of us.

"In the last year and a half that I've been with Xander, I've been given raw, uncut jewels.   I've been given cut jewels.  I've been given jewelry with and without jewels.  Plus food, wines, clothes, offers of pets and other rare items.  I've been given shit I had to have someone identify.  I got given a jeweled knife last month.  It's beautiful but I can't carry it anywhere."  He shrugged.  "It's great and gratifying to get that sort of attention but it's damn tough to turn them down.  That's what they want, us to say 'yes, we'll stay' because then they have us until we die."  He moved closer.  "That's usually about four years average.  About half of us are castrated if we're male.  Or chained if we're female.  We're taken and used as pets.  Something to show off, pamper, spoil, and sleep with in anyway they want.  We wouldn't have that much room to complain because we're pets.  Can you even imagine what it's like?  We're concubines if we're taken.  If not, we're devoutly loved and pampered at home."

"Why Tony?"

"Because he knew and helped us."

"So he's not one?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Ask Tony."

"Why can't I ask you?  I'm not going to go out and say anything."

"Kate, if you went out in a bar and talked about the strange guy you had met today, describing me or Xander, someone will be coming for us later that night.  Considering someone came *here* and nearly got him?  Do you think they'll stop because there's innocents?  Or we're in a hotel?"

She shuddered and shook her head.  "Fine, I can accept that and mentally decide he's one of the people who once took care of one of you.  I'm not going to talk about this at all."  He smiled and relaxed.  "What can I do to help Tony?"

"Find the stuff on the guys who have him.  Our retrieval squad is mostly Special Forces and if they have some information it'll be easier to break them."

"I can do that."  She walked off. She came back ten minutes later.  "Um, Gibbs?  That Ryan guy is unconscious on the floor and so is McGee.  Xander's nowhere to be found."  They rushed out to find out what was going on.  They came up to find Ryan coming around and McGee still out with a spot bleeding on his head.

"Wolfe," Gibbs snapped.  "What happened?"

Ryan blinked at him then pointed at the cameras.  "Guys in fatigues.  Machine guns.  Batted me and him on the head with the butt."  He rubbed the spot and swatted at Ducky.  "I heal like Xander.  Quit."  He stood up, groaning some.  "I'm fine and I'll be perfect within an hour."  He looked at Gibbs.  "I don't know who they were."

"Kate!" he snapped.

"On the security footage," she agreed, going to the security office to look at the footage.  She found the guys tied up.  She got one free. "Who was it?"

"Marines," he moaned.  "I don't know why, Kate."

"That's fine.  Rewind it.  Do we have audio?"  He nodded, keying in the rewind and replay. She called upstairs.  "Gibbs, Marines.  All wearing the 223 badge that we found last month that was counterfeited."  She nodded.  "Thanks."  She patted the guy on the shoulder.  "Go ahead and lock down the building.  Get the others free."  He nodded and she went back to her desk with the pictures she had printed off.  "Here."

He looked and nodded.  "That's the same fake badges.  Go look for their leader.  McGee?"  He lifted his head and Ducky swatted him, going back to blotting the small bleeding spot.  "Can you get whatever Kate found and send it to the retrieval squad working on Tony's rescue?"

"I sent it to Abby, Gibbs," Kate said, typing and searching.  "We have an address on that paramilitary group."

"Good.  Let's go.  Wolfe...."

"Fat chance," he said dryly, following him.  "I am still an officer.  Xander is still my duty and my friend.  I'm going.  You're already short people."

"Who trained you to go in?"

"Miami-Dade PD.  I'm one of Horatio Caine's boys now."  That got a nod and a small, grudging, smile.  "Shall we?"

"We will."  They headed down to the garage, letting Ducky get McGee ready for the next one.

***

Tony looked up and blinked at the person above him.  "Paul?" he whispered.

"It's me, Tony," he promised, stroking his cheek.  "Can you sit up?  I don't think you're very comfy in that casket."  Tony shook his head and held up a hand, letting himself be pulled up and out.  "Shh.  Let me get the medics onto your case and then we'll head home."  Tony shook his head.  "No?"

"Gibbs knows."  He hugged him.  "Thank you."

"Shhh, it's all right. I came for you.  They got me out of bed even.  Xander's so stressed he nearly whammied DC into niceness.  If we need it, I'll handle Gibbs myself."  Tony looked at him.  "I will, baby. It's all right." Tony nodded and let himself be led off.  "I want this plane searched," he ordered.  "Anything monetary we find is Tony's.  The bastard took him, he can pay for it and the rescue."  That got some nods and he and one other guy walked Tony off to the ambulance.

The guy went with him to translate and help him.  They had his medical record from the guys he worked with.  "Tony, I'm Soshar."  Tony nodded at that.  "I've got your medical records from Ducky.  The doctors are going to speak through me so there's not a problem, all right?"

"Sure," he agreed, sounding tired and worn out.  "How long did he have me?"

"Nearly a whole day.  They found Xander tied up in your place.  They decided he was too high maintenance," he said with a small smile.  Tony snorted at that.  "That's why he took you for his son.  Paul will handle it and it'll be fine.  I promise it will be fine, Tony."  He stroked over his hair.  Tony gave him a trusting look.  "Just relax.  We know what they drugged Xander with.  You'll be fine."

"Sure.  I was less tired when I had Y. Pestis."

"I know you did."  He went back to stroking his hair.  "It'll be fine."  The paramedic coughed.  He talked to him in Italian, making Tony laugh.  "I heard you spoke some."  Tony nodded and told the paramedic what had happened, getting a nod.  "Just relax and let me handle it.  It'll be okay.  Paul will come back tonight once we're sure you're all right.  Then we'll get you home to DC."

"Must I?"

"Unless you want to join Greg at Xander's."  Tony blushed at that.  He smiled. "It is a seductive offer," he agreed.  "Miami might even be able to use you.  Horatio's being driven nuts by Xander.  Whenever he worries he spikes and causes problems."

"He's spiking because Greg's tired and so are the others.  It's time for a vacation."

"I'll let him know that during the convention this weekend.  You know, we might even get you back in time for that.  Then we can make sure you get home from Miami."  He smiled and nodded.  "Okay, we're pulling into the village."

"Sure."  He took his hand to hold.  "Does Gibbs hate me?"

"No.  He's incredibly worried but no, he's not mad.  He's still struggling with understanding what's going on.  He's not mad.  He's looking forward to seeing you again."

"He's going to smack me."

"I know he is," he agreed with a small smile. "My former commander said he did that to him once.  My former commander was one of the scary marines and even he was scared of your boss."  Tony smiled at that.  "We're all very impressed that you handle him and make him tolerable to work with."

"He's got really high expectations.  He told me I wasn't allowed to die when I got the plague."

"You know, if you could turn him into a keeper, you'd never have a surge again," he teased.

Tony shook his head. "He's a scary guy.  He's a dom.  He'd chain me to the walls all the time and spank me."

"We won't let him do that."   They pulled into the hospital and he got out to follow him.  "His Italian isn't fully fluent and I have his medical records," he told the nurse in Italian.  "He's an American Federal agent with NCIS."  He handed over his PDA.  "That's the copy of his records."

The doctor took them, looking at him.  "Impossible."

"Bullshit.  It got sent to his office.  His office's ME sent it to me personally.  His number's on the bottom."

"Ducky's going to tell stories," Tony said weakly.  "Yes I had the pneumonic plague.  My boss ordered me not to die.  If the Marine comes in here, get out of his way."

Soshar pointed at something.  "That is something we know was injected into the person who was with him before he was taken.  It's a powerful sedative?"

"It is."  He drew some blood and sent it with a nurse and got down to checking him over.

***

Xander looked up then let his head thump down when the door got kicked in.  He rattled the chains.  "Two of them are gone."

"Why?" Ryan asked, coming over to check him over. "You okay?"

"Embarrassed.  Sore.  He tried to whip me and I kicked his ass.   Hairpins strike again."  He looked at him. "It's a damn good thing I bruise hard."  Gibbs and Kate came back.  "Anyone still here or did they all run out for McDonald's?  The head guy wanted a fillet'o'fish without sauce."  Kate went to check the hall, alert the security guards, and then close the door so they could wait.  "Should I scream like they're still thinking about torturing me?"

"No, it's all right," Ryan soothed, getting one undone with a hairpin he pulled out.

"Tony?"

"They're waiting to go in.  The plane's in the middle of landing," he soothed, rubbing the wrists.  "There.  You're all good. Sit up?"  Xander sat up, holding his head.  "Shh.  I've got you."

Gibbs looked at him, watching the wounds on his wrist heal.  "What's that?" he asked, glancing back at Kate.

"He's a quick healer," Ryan said, staring him down.  "By the way, Horatio's scarier so don't try."  He got back to work on Xander's injuries.  "Did you pass over?"  Xander nodded.  "How long ago?"

"Two minutes."  He fixed Ryan's hair, then smiled.  "There, better."  He took a kiss.  "Thank you."  Ryan smiled and helped him turn around, then stand up.  "Should I draw them back?"

"No, it's all right," Ryan soothed.  "Just relax and let us handle it this time."  Xander nodded, still holding his head.  "Growing pains?" he asked, looking hesitant.  Xander glared at him.  "Xander?  Any need to go play poker with mafia guys?"

"Bite me, Ryan."  He took another kiss, pulling his head closer to snuggle him.  "We're taking Tony home for the convention if we can.  Then he can come back rested.  After his boss has had time to calm down.  Greg will pamper and baby him too.  We'll spoil him."  He stroked his cheek.  "Please?"

"Sure."  He kissed him on the forehead.  "What sort of headache are you having?"

"One where I should call Speed."  He patted him down until he found his phone, getting up and wobbling into the bathroom.  "Speed, it's Xander.  Go clean your gun."  He weathered the complaints.  "Speed.  Go clean your gun.  I mean it.  Speed, listen to the words coming out of my mouth.  Gee, Timmy, I don't know.  If me, who wears marks to half the Greek pantheon and seems to have a bunch of demons who talk to me, call you up and make a sudden, panicking demand, what do you think you should do?"  He listened to the further complaint.  "Speed, do it or I'm calling Horatio."  He hung up and looked up.  "Can I have less of a headache since I told him?" he asked.  "Please, Ares?"  The headache eased.  "Thank you."  He smiled at the positive feeling he got.

***

Speed hung up and glared at his phone, going up to his mate's office. "Where's the gun cleaning kit?"  Horatio looked up at him, frowning some.  "Xander just called with an impassioned, sudden plea to clean my gun.  He pointed out that he's got half the Greek pantheon tattooed to his body and demons talk to him."

"It's in the bottom filing cabinet drawer.  I'll help."  He put down his pen and went to get it, closing the door so they could go over it together.  "Did he say why?"

"No, just that he had to tell me to do this today.  Also, he called me Timmy.  You need to spank the pseudo-son we seem to have adopted."

"I will when he gets back.  How did he sound?  I know he went up to help Tony DiNozzo with something."

Speed shrugged. "I don't know but he was on Ryan's phone."  Horatio moaned and called Ryan's phone back, putting him on speaker.  "Wolfe, it's us.  What the fuck is going on and why did the high priest there with you suddenly have to call?"

"I don't know why he called but he went to pray to Ares to quit giving him a headache since he did, Speed.  As for how things are going?  Well...."  His voice drifted off, talking to someone, then he sighed.  "Tony will be fine.  They just started the assault on the plane where he's being held.  We've just now gotten Xander back from the UAE people who had him.  They took him from the NCIS office up here."

"Charming," Horatio said blandly.  "Is he all right?"

"Headache.  Still.  Like growing pains headache, Horatio."

"We'll watch out for things when he gets back.  Are you going to be in tomorrow?"

"I hope so.  Xander?"

"Greg's here," he said quietly. "I'll be fine.  I'll even be a good boy for Greggy."

Speed and Horatio both smiled at Ryan's snort of amusement at that idea.

"Xander, why did he have to clean his gun?" Horatio asked.

"Ares said so."

"I see.  Is it going to become important?"

"Don't ask me, ask him.  I still have a headache.  He said so.  Follow along because it's probably important.  Remember, if one of you dies the other's got a bad time of surviving."  He hung up on a new groan.

Speed and Horatio shared a look then got to work cleaning both their guns.  That was probably a bad thing that was going to happen.

***

Xander was led back into the office with Gibbs behind him. "I'm fine," he complained. "We got the guy, someone handled it, I'll be fine."  He ran into Greg and hugged him.  "Tell them I was being a good boy."

"He was. He was sharing present ideas with McGee for his mother's birthday," Greg told him.  "Security tapes said so."

"Good," Gibbs agreed dryly.  "Doesn't mean he's safe."

"Oh, he will be, even if I have to wear him out myself," Ryan said, staring Xander down, making him blush.  "Be a good boy or else."

"I'm trying."

"Try harder," Kate complained.  She sat down.  "Any news?"

"He's at the hospital," McGee offered.  "He was still groggy from the sedative they gave them both and Paul found him in a casket.  One of the guys speaks Italian and he's there with Tony to guard him.  They think he's fine so he'll be flown back tomorrow with Paul as his escort and probably taken down to Miami because of the convention."

"He can have our spare room," Xander agreed.  "We'll bring him back calm, happy, and relaxed."

"Uh-uh," Gibbs said, shaking his head.  "Not without an escort."

Ryan looked at him.  "You need time to set up stuff," he pointed out quietly.  "This'll hold Tony for at least another week."  They shared a look.  "He'll be safe.  Most of Miami's crime lab watches out for Xander.  We're family down there."

"He'll be like my big brother," Xander agreed, grinning at him.  "I promise, he'll be perfectly fine and I'll jump in front of anyone who feels the need to take him."

"No you won't," Greg said firmly.  "You'll let the rest of us handle it, Xander."

"Yes, Greg," he complained.  "I want them to know that he'll be safe."

"He'll be perfectly safe, Gibbs.  I'm going to be with them all weekend if at all humanly possible."

"Fine.  That may work out better.  That would give us all time to calm down and things to start being pulled together."  Ryan nodded, walking off to make that call.

Xander hugged McGee.  "I think the pretty thing would still be best but if your mom doesn't like it tell her you got bad advice from a gay guy."  McGee smiled and nodded.  He let him go and looked at Gibbs.  "We should probably let your city calm back down."

"Might be a good idea," he agreed dryly.  "Before you send another congressman off the deep end."

"Not my fault.  He came to butt in and yell at you.  All I did was make him beg and crawl."  Kate moaned and put down her head, shaking it on the desk. "I was solving a problem."

"You were," Gibbs agreed. "He's still going to be screwed up for months.  Greg?"

"Everything you could need to properly arrest and charge them is with Abby. Including the DNA profile of the rope tightener."  Xander looked at him.  "Plus we edited the tape of Xander's statement so it discluded Sunnydale stuff."

"Thank you."  He nodded.  "I'll let you know if we need one on this new stuff."

"Sure, Gibbs.  Let me get my bag and we'll go."  He looked at Xander.  "Come on.   Your stuff's in the car."  Xander nodded and waved, following them.  They picked up Ryan and headed down to drive to the airport.  "This has been one strange day and a half," he complained once Ryan had them moving.  "Who was that guy?"

"We're not sure," Ryan admitted.  "Personally Gibbs thinks the director person turned them onto him."  That got a nod.  "Xander, would that call have to do with a case?"

"Possibly."  He shrugged. "Not like I got a full explanation.  I know if he didn't we'd lose them both."

Greg looked at him.  "You'll still lose them someday," Greg said gently.

"Not for a very long time and it's possible I'll lose a fight before then," he said firmly.

"Xander, a lot of the people around you are still going to die," Greg pointed out.  "Including me."

"Greg.  It's not like I haven't lost others. I'm sick and tired of losing people around me, okay?  I've done plenty of that already.  It's not like there's ever been a battle like graduation where people didn't die, especially when it's untrained things against an overwhelming power.  Or against the Initiative.  Or even in the rest of my life."  He tried the door handle but Ryan locked it on him.  "I'm going to get out and walk."

"Fat chance, Xander."  He pulled over and looked back at him.  "It's a problem of the life," he said firmly.  "We have to accept that, Xander."

"Do you know what it's like to watch people you've known since before you spoke intelligently die around you?" he demanded.  "Let me out."

"No.  You'll do something dumb and we need to be there for Horatio tonight."  Ryan stared him down.  "It's not like that.  You know it's not like that.  For now, don't think about it and we'll talk about that stuff after the convention."

"There's no talking!"

"Xander!" Ryan said firmly.  "Calm down."  Xander slumped. "Thank you.  We'll handle this after the convention.  All right?  You and I and Greg will sit down and talk about the memories you have of watching people around you die.  We'll do the therapy you'll need to not do stupid shit and die on us.  Because if we lose you, the whole group is devastated."

"They've all got lives without me."

"Yeah, but you're one of the glues that holds the family together," Greg said gently. "The same as Horatio is."  He reached back to take his hand.  "We'll talk when we get home, after the convention.  For right now, pray to help Speed.  With the way you got that need to call him, we'll need to be there for Horatio.  So just calm down.  We'll be with Tony this weekend.  We'll help Horatio."  Xander swallowed and nodded. "Good boy.  Now, Ryan, we're going to Miami?"  That got a nod and Ryan started them off again.

***

Xander got off the plane and found Eric pacing and waiting on them.  "What happened?"

"Did you know he was going to get shot?" he demanded, staring at Xander.  Who shook his head slowly.  "What, exactly, did you get told?"

"He had to clean his gun or he'd die."  Eric paled at that.  "That's all I got.  I don't think I was supposed to get that part but he argued with me and I got that later.  Is he okay?"

"No but he'll live," he admitted. "Come on.  Bags?"

"One," Greg admitted.  "I'll grab that.  Meet you outside?" That got a nod and they headed off to do that, Eric and Ryan escorting Xander. He walked off muttering.  This was not an auspicious start to a convention.  He joined them outside and Eric got them into the hummer, taking them to the hospital.  Xander rushed inside and into Frank's back, moving around him to Horatio's side.  "Xander," he called, getting attention.  "Calm down."

"No!  Damn it, I didn't know he was going to be hurt if he did, just if he didn't!"

Horatio looked at him.  "You were right to call," he admitted quietly.  He gave him a hug.  "Calm down."  He looked at him.  "It was right to call.  He'll live and be fine in a few weeks."

Xander gave him a squeeze.  "You're coming to stay with us until he comes home, Horatio.  We live closer to here and the quiet house will drive you nuts."

"That's fine," he agreed, stroking his cheek.  He smiled at him.  "Thank you."

"I can't lose you guys," he admitted quietly.  "Oh, Tony's coming home. They took him."

"That's fine.  This weekend, focus on Tony.  Come spoil Speed during visiting hours."  Xander nodded, looking very serious.  "Good boy.  Now, one last thing.  Only I get to call him Timmy."

"I'm sorry."

"Shh. I know.  It's a boundary we hadn't laid out, Xander."  He stroked his cheek.  "For now, he's fine.  He'll be fine.  They think he'll even come back to work."

"Which leaves the troll," he said, catching sight of him lurking.  "Can I help?" he asked quietly.

"It's covered."  He stared at him.  "Don't."

"It's not right of him to blame you."

"I moved him out of the way to shoot.  It put him in danger.  We shouldn't work scenes together."

"Why?  Because you're aware of your people's faults?  Ryan's not exactly quick on the draw either," he pointed out gently.  "You know your people and knew that Speed isn't a shoot first person.  Some cops are meant to be cops and play with guns.  Some cops aren't, they're meant to be scientists or bike cops or horse cops."

"True," he agreed, giving him a gentle smile.  "For now, go home."

"No.  Not until he's settled and I can see him and apologize for using his name."

"That's fine.  Then let the family sit you down and watch over you."

"I'm not helpless!"

"No, but you're still on an emotional surge," he noted patiently.  Xander frowned.  "You are."

"They gave me something when they knocked me out to steal Tony."

"They passed you over to take Tony?" he demanded a bit loudly.  Xander nodded.

"They said he was too high maintenance so they wanted Tony instead," Greg told him.  "Is Speed all right?"  That got a nod. "Good.  Is there anything we can do to help, Horatio?"

"It'll be fine, Greg.  I may need you to fill in for a few weeks but it'll be fine."

"Sure, boss.  Just ask and let me know."  That got a nod.  "Will he be okay?"

"He'll be fine and they even think he'll be back to work in a few months.  It'll be an hour or so until they move him to a room."  They all nodded and Greg got hauled off by Frank and Don to talk.  He looked at Xander, seeing the pain. "What?"

"Nothing.  Depressing discussion in DC."  He shrugged. "It happens even to me, Horatio."

"About?"

"Nothing.  Don't worry about it."  He gave him another squeeze then let go, looking at him.  "Would cookies be okay?"

"He'd probably kill for cookies within a day," he agreed, smiling at him. "Especially the good peanut butter ones you make."  Xander smiled at that but he noticed it wasn't a really happy smile.  "Sit with me?"

"No, you need to concentrate on your guy.  Do we need to help you find them?"

"No, we've already gotten them, Xander.  Don't worry, we have it."

"I know," he agreed, going over to sit against the wall.  Calleigh sat next to him so he leaned on her shoulder, getting a head pat then shoved off.  "Sorry."

"I'm not in a cuddly mood.  I'm still pissed at him.  It's like a rerun of an old nightmare."

"Did his gun jam?" he asked quietly.

"No.  It didn't."  She relaxed and looked at him.  "Thank you, Xander."

"Welcome.  What did I do?"

"Made me calm down."  She stroked over his head.  "We'll be calm together, okay?"  He nodded.  "Good.  What happened in DC?"

"One of the other guys got taken.  They drugged us both and tied me down, then took him."

"Is he all right?"

"Fine.  He's on his way down for the convention. Then he'll go home once his boss has time to calm down."  She smiled at that.  "They found out right before he got taken.  His boss is not happy."

"I don't blame him.  Being one of you guys and working in a tough environment can be wearing on everyone's nerves."

"He handles it."

"I'm sure he does, but if he's getting taken apparently not enough."

"It's not his fault."

"I never said it was," she reminded him.  Xander looked at her.  "Really. I know it's not his fault.  It's something none of you guys can fully control.  If you could I doubt you'd want to stay a level ten."  Xander shrugged and sat there staring at the wall.  "Xander," she sighed.

"No, I'm thinking."

"Sure."  She stroked over is back.  "We'll wait until Tim wakes up and then we'll make him sorry for being shot.  Then we'll spoil him until he can go home."  He looked at her.  "We will."

He nodded.  "We will," he agreed, slumping some.  A nurse came out and talked to Horatio, getting a nod.

Horatio looked around.  "He's in a room and we can descend on him in groups of two and three."

"You and Alexx go, Horatio," Xander said firmly.  "That way she can cry on him and you can say hi when he wakes up."  That got a nod and they headed off.  He watched the others staring at him.  "What?"

"You got told to tell him to clean his gun?" Frank demanded.  Xander nodded, staying silent.  "Why?"

"Because one of the people that I wear marks for said so, Frank.  It's not like I got a complete rundown of what would happen.  Just that he needed to and when he didn't snap to it immediately why.  He could have died."  Frank sighed and nodded, turning away.  "Sorry."  He got up and headed off, going out to catch a cab home.  He had them stop at the bank since he didn't have his wallet on him, Ryan did, but that was okay. He paid the driver at his gate and headed up and into the house, finding Paul and Tony in there.  "You guys made good time from Italy."

"We did," Tony agreed, giving him a hug.  "What happened?  Even the ferrets look depressed."

"Speed got shot.  I got sent a head's up to tell him to clean his gun."

"You're psychic?"

"No but now and then I know something bad's going to happen."  He shrugged. "Everyone's mad at me."  He stroked his cheek. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine."  He smiled.  "Are we going over tonight or should we stay here?"

"No, you need to go.  I should go.  It's even in my city, I really should go and cancel the other rooms."  He shrugged.  "I'll put that toward helping Speed's hospital bills."  He smiled.  "Hubert, get the ferrets into their traveling bag and let's go."  The dogs came up to stare at him.  "Sure, you two too."  He smiled at Tony.  "I need to pack.  My bag's still in Ryan's trunk."  That got a shrug and Tony followed Hubert, going to help the dragon gather the ferrets.  Then they headed out in Xander's corvette.  The dalmatians weren't very comfortable but it would be fine for now.   He pulled in and let the valet take his baby, taking the dragon and his bag, plus the ferrets, and letting Tony handle the dogs.  They walked inside and the desk clerk smiled.

"Reservation under Harris."  She smiled and typed that in, looking at him. "What?  Don't tell me one of them canceled my card?"  She nodded.  He pulled out his wallet and handed over the money, getting a smile and the room keys. "I'll get that straightened out later."  He walked Tony off, going up to call Steve.  "What did you do to my Visa this time?" he complained.  "Why?"  He groaned and held his head.  "No, Steve, the convention.  Thank you.  No, I'll live on cash and if you've locked my accounts I'm going to pout and scream in your office."  He smirked at the assurance he hadn't.  "Good.  Thank you."  He hung up and called his personal banker.  "Miss Gold?  It's Xander Harris.  No, Steve decided to play card roulette during the convention.  No, I'm in Miami but I'm going to be taking out some cash.  Because one of the family was injured today on the job and he's going to have medical bills.  Sure.  Thank you.  Yup, within an hour.  Thank you."  He hung up and looked at Tony.  "Let me do that and I'll be right back, okay?"

"You shouldn't go out without a guard, Xander."

"I think that's almost the same thing you said the first day I met you."

"It probably was," he agreed.  He smiled.  "It'll be fine."

"Stay and play with the dogs, Tony.  I'll be right back.  I promise."  He headed out, going to his bank and then right back, with a stop for a milkshake.  He came back and found Don pacing in the foyer of the hotel.  "What happened?"

"You're *here*?"

"I doubt he wants to see me," he said.  "No one else did."  He walked around him. "I've got Tony with me.  Go be with Speed. He wants you guys there.  Tell him I'll bring him cookies during visiting hours on Monday.  That way he can yell or whatever in private."  He got onto the elevator and headed upstairs with the briefcase, dropping it in the suite.  "There.  Okay, the reception starts when?"

"About twenty minutes ago.  Come on, we'll take the babies down there.  Put on something with pockets."  Xander did that and let the ferrets ride with him while Hubert laid on his shoulder and the dogs went with Tony.  "Are you sure we should've brought everyone?"

"No one's going to be home tonight to take care of them. I'm not going to let them suffer because everyone's gathered around Speed."  He shrugged and reached up to scratch the scaly head.  "We should go rescue Horatio's ferrets too, huh?"  The dragon snorted.  "What?"

"Your cage needs cleaned first," Tony told him.

He groaned.  "No one did it while I was gone?"

"Apparently not."

"Then I'll make sure it's done before another one gets put back in there."  That got a smile from his buddy.  "Come on.  It'll help wear you out.  Did we close the house door?"  Tony nodded.  "Good.  Don't want to worry anyone."  They walked into the reception, taking their nametags from the hostess.  "Danny, Don, Horatio, and Speed might not be here all that often," he said quietly.  "Or Ray or Greg at the moment."  She nodded, still smiling.  "Is Adam here?"

"Not yet.  He said something about a family emergency?"

"Yeah, with Speed."  He patted Tony on the back.  "I promised to watch him so I'll go do my part on Monday."  She nodded, letting them inside.  Instantly a few of the members came over to admire the animals and gush at them.  It was a good feeling.

***

Speed looked up at Horatio.  "Where's the son?"

"The convention.  He's watching over Tony since they had to take him back."  He smoothed over his forehead.  "He said he'd bring you good cookies on Monday."

"Good.  Let me guess, you said something, someone else said something?"

"Are you psychic?"

"Maybe. I knew it was going to be a bad day. That's why I put on underwear."  Horatio smiled at that.  "I did."

"I noticed."   He went back to smoothing over his hair, getting smiled at.  "How are you feeling?"

"Better.  Less pain definitely.  Is that Stetler lurking?"

"Yes.  He's going to say something about relationships on the job."

"He can blow me.  You know very well I wasn't going to fire first."

"I did."  He smiled.  "Xander said I could stay with them until you came home."

"Good. Bring the little furry things with you."

"I will.  Should I tell him you're drugged and to come back Monday with Xander and his cookies?"

"If you can."  Horatio nodded, going to send him off.  Speed watched his mate, seeing how tired he looked.  The nurse slipped in.  "How long am I being tortured for?"

"At least the next few days, Detective."  He grimaced.  "Speedle?"

"Try Speed and leave it there."  She nodded.  "Also, Horatio is allowed to feed me."

"No he's not."

"Yes he is.  I'm not eating slop.  I refuse to eat slop.  I'm in enough pain and my stomach will complain at slop."

"I'm sure it's not that bad," she noted patiently.  He gave her an incredulous look.  "It's not."

"It is."  Horatio came back.  "Tell her you and the others can feed me."

"We'll be bringing food anyway.  We're like a family in the lab.  Alexx should show up with soup tonight.  I'll be back with breakfast in the morning.  The others will pop around as they can.  Speed, I'm going to let Greg fill in for you for a few days, all right?"

"Sure.  I know you're not replacing me."  He shrugged, then winced and hissed.  "Ow.  That hurt."

"No, really?" Horatio asked dryly, glaring at him. "If you rip one you don't get to go home for longer."

"I'll be a good boy."  He stared at his mate.  "Go find the might-as-well-be son."

"I can't.  I called the hotel and they're not admitting he's there yet.  It's part of the security procedure."

"Then send someone to get him.  I want to see him tonight."

"I will.  Calm down."

"No!  I'm guessing by the way Ryan and Greg looked that the kid's not happy for whatever reason."

"Maybe because they passed him over to take Tony?" Horatio suggested.

Speed stared at him.  "I know every now and then you turn into a bigger asshole than I am, but that's about at the level of Adam being an asshole to Ray."  Horatio looked down.  "Go get the boy, Horatio. He obviously feels like we're not a family or he'd still be here, Tony or not.  He'd have Tony playing with the dog and the ferrets."

"I can't go, not today.  I'll send Eric."  That got an unhappy look.  "I will.  But only if you rest."

"I am resting.  Do we see work in front of me?"  Horatio rolled his eyes but left to do that.  "So, how was your day?" he asked the nurse.

"Fairly routine."

"Wanna trade?"

"Not for all the money in the world.  I hear gunshot wounds hurt."

"Yeah, they do," he agreed, shifting his arm in the sling.  "When do I get this off?"

"When the incision's healed."

"So, tonight so I can sleep?"  She walked off laughing. "I'm not kidding," he called.  "I'll have a hard enough time resting in here," he complained.  Horatio came back.  "Is Eric going?"

"In a few minutes.  He wanted to see you again."  He let Eric in.  "Don't tire him out."

"I won't."  He looked at Speed.  "You're so getting fussed over.  My mother heard somehow."  Speed moaned.  "Sorry but suck it up."  He grinned. "Should I help Horatio move the ferrets to Xander's house until you get home?"

"Please.  Make sure the idiots cleaned the cages while Xander was gone too.  Danny probably forgot.  He's been working some extreme hours again."

"Sometimes work calls," Eric reminded him dryly.  "You sure you're up to a Xander fit tonight?"

"He's not going to throw fits.  He's going to spoil and nag, but it won't be any worse than Alexx's mothering.  Now, go get the kid for me.  I need to thank him. I would've died without it, Eric."

"Fine."  He went to find him, stopping at the house first.  Nothing and the corvette was gone.  Even the dogs were gone. He headed to the hotel, finding it in full swing and no sign of Xander according to the tag girl at the door of the convention room.  He frowned at her.  "Speed wants to see him tonight instead of Monday if you see him, okay?"

"I'll tell him."  Eric nodded and walked off.  She shrugged and made a note, handing it to one of the society's pages to go find the guy.  "The one with the reptile."  That got a nod and he went to find him, being pointed at the right person by the guy with the snakes.

"Mr. Harris, sir?" he said.  Xander smiled at him. "Here you go.  Someone just came up for you."  He handed over the message and left.

Xander flipped it open and smiled.  "Speed wants to see me tonight."

"Go. I can handle myself.  Paul's here," he said patiently.  Xander looked at him.  "Really.  I'll even keep the dogs with me since they're so overprotective. You can even leave Hubert and the ferrets for me.  We've got a litter box upstairs."  Xander nodded, going to drop them off.  One had gotten loose so he alerted the desk then headed off to buy some treats since he hadn't had time to bake yet.  Tony sat down, petting the dogs, smiling at the cat that came over to hiss at them. "They're nice.  They play with smaller things."  The cat ran off at the first sign of drool.  "Sure, you do that," he praised, stroking their heads. He smiled when Adam and Ray came over.  "Xander got told Speed wanted to see him tonight so he headed over."

"How are you?" Ray asked. "I heard you got taken."

"First real kidnaping in a while," he admitted. "I'm fine. Paul's still amazing."  He smiled.  "Do I owe the group for the rescue?"

"No, we get plenty of donations from members' wills," Adam said patiently, sitting down next to him to pat the dog.  "Hello, Spots."  They both barked and lapped his hand, getting ear pets from Ray. "Did he leave you down here alone?"

"I'm not helpless, guys. I'm a federal agent. I can handle myself.  The last guy drugged me.  Worry more about Xander being out on his own and the fact that he's really unhappy for some reason."

"Jealousy?" Ray suggested.

"No," Tony said, staring at him. "Xander's not like that. Are we in some alternate Miami where no one likes him but me?  Because if we are, I'm taking the animals and him back to DC with me."

"It's been a long week," Adam assured him. "He's been looking forward to this and then things started to happen.  Including Gregory getting a job offer back in Las Vegas."  Tony grimaced.  "It's a good and sincere one."

"Yeah, but from what I heard, the techs out there didn't respect him."

"They do now."  He patted him on the back.  "Come, let's get you settled into Horatio and Speed's room since they won't be needing it."

"I'm in the spare room in Xander's suite. I think he canceled that room, not really sure."  Adam groaned. "It'll be fine and it's not like Horatio's going to leave Speed's side to come here and play. Besides, I'd rather be with Xander for now.  Greg and Ryan were both giving him dirty looks from what Paul heard."  He heard someone's pager go off and Soshar went strolling off.  "Xander?" he called.

"No.  The lobby.  Stay in here, Tony.  You're still tired from the last kidnaping."  He looked at the dogs.  "Keep them with you."  He and Paul walked out together, going to stop the person with the gun.  The local officers were trying but they were just better.  The man gave up and went away with a whimper once they had pounced him.  Then Soshar looked at his boss. "Where is Harris?"

"He went to see Speed.  Speed sent for him since he's in the hospital."

"Why?"

"He got shot."

"Bummer.  I hate when that happens."  He shrugged it off and went to help with the report for the local guys. It was only fair.

Paul went back to watching the more vulnerable members.  If they needed him to help rescue Xander, he would go but he had plenty of protectors around him most of the time.  Even with the other couple in the group being injured and out of action.

***

Speed looked up when Calleigh came in later.  "Where's Xander?"

"I don't know.  I'm assuming guarding Tony at the convention since that's where the note he left on the fridge said he'd be."

"H sent Eric to get him to tell him to come here."

"You don't think he's in trouble, do you?"

"I don't know, Calleigh.  This is Xander."

"He's probably fine and I'll run a check on his license plate to see if he's been spotted."  He nodded, grimacing at that.  "He's probably out for a drive.  It's been a stressful week."

"It has been. Then again, he's not one to avoid his duty either. He promised to take care of Tony?"  She nodded.  "Then he'd only leave him for a while and only if he had a better babysitter, like Ryan."

"I can call Ryan if you're really worried."

"Please.  That way I know it's not that he's avoiding us because someone said something to upset him."

"Yeah, I don't know what I said but he wasn't looking happy," she admitted, dialing.  "I mean, it's not like I insulted you or anything, Timmy."

He moaned.  "Horatio probably told him not to call me that."  She looked at him.  "Really.  Phone."  She handed it over.  "Wolfe, where is Xander?  Yes it is your job to know where he is at all times.  Yay.  Find him."  He hung up and looked at her.  "He had better hope he's goofing off somewhere."

"I hope so too. You're right, that's not like him.  Do you think he's mad at us?"

"No, I think we upset him and he'd already had a pretty crappy week," Speed said dryly. "Or didn't you hear about his mother calling on Monday?"  She shook her head slowly.  "Ah.  Well.  Yeah.  Just the start of the crappy week."  He settled in to be fussed over, even though he hated to be fussed over it made them feel better and he understood that.  Now all they needed was the family's favorite fusser. Because it was strange not having Xander hovering around to fluff his pillows, feed him cookies, or try to convince the nurses to let him go early.

***

Horatio walked in the next morning, looking at his very awake husband. "I thought you'd still be asleep."

"I would if the nurse would leave me alone for more than thirty minutes.  He never did show up."

"He left with your note after Tony told him he'd be okay.  That was before the convention nearly got taken as a whole by a paramilitary group who think they can make us work for their army."

"Charming.  Who blamed it on him?"

"Eric.  I've already pointed out twice he wasn't there."  He shrugged. "What worries me is that he left all the animals with Tony."

"Horatio, he's not the sort to run away.  If he never showed up here and he never went back there, I'm doubting the boy is on this plane or in the city anymore," he noted patiently.  Horatio moaned.  "Did we find his car?  I told Ryan to find him last night."

"I haven't been to work yet."

"Go. Shoo.  Find him."

"What if he did run away, Speed?  He hasn't been happy in the last few weeks."

"I wonder why," he noted dryly.  "Right after you told him not to call me Timmy again, Calleigh called me that in front of him.  His mother called Monday to bother him.  He was drugged not two whole days ago and then later kidnaped by someone else from a federal building full of agents."  Horatio groaned.  "So yeah, not making with the happy him or me.  Go find him, Horatio. He's family."

"He's fine, Speed.  He's got Ryan and the others."

"It's not like I'm going to get dead in here, Horatio."

"You don't know that."

"Fine, be stubborn, check on it."  Horatio nodded, going outside to use his cellphone and check on Ryan's progress in finding him.  He looked up.  "It's not like I ask many favors, and thanks for the warning, Ares, but where is the kid?  Did he go out intentionally?"  He looked out the door again, not very happy at the moment.  Maybe it would be for the best if they all took a vacation. Separately.  Including his spouse going on one where he couldn't fuss for a few days.  Horatio came back shaking his head.  "No, Ryan didn't find him?"

"They found his corvette this morning at the small bakery he gets fudge at," he said quietly.  "There was a late burglary call there last night.  No one's sure what's going on."

"Call the DPP guy."

"I can't in the hospital and Xander has the calling stone."

"Stetler has one," Speed reminded him.  "Get him to use it."

"He does, doesn't he."  He went to call him and make him use it, citing the kidnaping and burglary report.  He wasn't happy but oh well.  He hadn't been happy in a long time.  He came back shaking his head.  "He's on this planet somewhere.  That's all the detective would say.  That and he's not in good shape."

"Why not?"

"I don't know.  They're still trying to pinpoint the country for us.  Then I can ask Paul to go."  He moved closer. "You're really worried?"

"How often is beheading used when one of us won't submit, Horatio?"

"Point," he sighed, sitting beside him.  "We've all been worried about you and Tony."  He took his hand to hold.  "Are you going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine. I itch like hell but I'm fine."  He shifted some, looking at him.  "But if we don't find him and figure out what's going on in his head again, I'm going to spank," he said quietly. "I'm the first to admit we could all use separate vacations.  I don't think it's wise but we could all use some sort of break."

"Apparently Xander's having one."

"Not funny, Horatio."

"Sorry.  I was trying to lighten the mood."

"Well, you didn't.  Are we in some alternate Miami?  One where you're not my Horatio?  If I am, let me know, okay?"

"No, we're at home.  It's stress," he assured him.  "Xander's an added bonus that none of us need at the moment."

"He's our friend and near-family, Horatio Caine.  You don't treat them like that," he said, staring at him.  "Even if he does have problems, you don't treat family like that.  Ever. That's not the man you are."

"I have..."

"Don't you dare use me as an excuse.  Get your head on straight and come back later. With Xander."  Horatio sighed and got up, heading off to help the hunt.  Speed thumped his head on the pillows.  "Are you sure we're in the right realm?" he asked quietly.  "My Horatio wouldn't do things like that normally."

Cupid appeared, leaning on the railing on his other side.  "Now and then, even your boy needs a swift kick.  Right now, he's trying to suppress being angry with you.  Something about not learning a lesson the first time?"

"I cleaned it two months ago."

"Not good enough," he said quietly.  "Remember, if you die he'll die.  Even before that necklace mom put on you two.  It's not like anyone would take care of him like you do, Speed."  Speed groaned and shifted, nodding at that.  "So you didn't clean it for two months why?"

"Because I've been too tired to drive most nights."

"That's not our fault.  You could take days off now and then."

"I do."

"Then get you both out on a vacation.  That's what they're for."

"I can't.  It's too important to be here.  I was going for one when I got called back."

"I saw."  He stroked over his hair.  "You know, you two will still age, just slower.  If you want to grow old together instead of dying young and pretty, I'd figure this out.  He's stressed about something personal and this added to it.  You're tired and upset.  Xander's depressed.  Which is pretty scary."

"Why?"

"I haven't been able to get that deep yet.  I tried and I ended up sobbing Monday night."  They shared a look.  "By the way, his mother has him.  You can tell your boy that."  He smirked at him.  "She's trying to cure him."  Speed grabbed the room phone.  "Also, lay off the kid, Timmy."

"Only Horatio calls me that."

"Well, tough.  He'll respect that but then he's not exactly feeling like family anymore.  More like he's a burden.  So if he gives up, you're going to have a damn long wait for your peanut butter cookies.  So will his ferrets.  She's already hard at work brainwashing him with her group."  He faded out.

Speed finished hitting the last number, glaring at the nurse when she came in.  "Horatio, just heard from the blond one.  Him not her.  No, his mother has him.  Yes, Xander," he said firmly, rolling his eyes.  The nurse started to take the phone and he slapped at her.  "We have a missing friend, you can wait."  He went back to listening to him.  "No, she's got him somewhere.  Something about trying to fix him, brainwashing, her cult?"  He nodded. "Yeah, basically. Do you think it'll matter since he's damn close to the point of giving up?  Well, gee, Horatio.  The blond one said he was so depressed he made *him* cry.  You tell me why, then ask Ryan why.  I'm sure he knows."  She hung up the phone on him.  "I'm sorry you were feeling ignored but I needed to talk to him."

"Right now, you need to rest."

"No, I need to go home."  He got up and swung his feet around. "Get me discharge paperwork."  She laughed.  "Now!" he snapped.  She backed up, staring at him. "Right now."  He pushed the 'nurse call' button. "I'm going home, where I can eat and sleep however much I need to.  Get me the paperwork or I'm walking out without it."

"Sir, you need to be here, we need to do more tests," she complained. He glared at her and she wilted, nodding and going to do that. She brought them back, watching him sign it and then hop down and head for his clothes.  "I'll get you a wheelchair."

"Thank you.  Call me a cab too."  He pulled on the jeans and t-shirt that had been left for him, putting his sling back on over top of it, with only a lot of hissing.  It still hurt like hell but his family was going to fall apart without him.  Someone needed to administer the asskickings.  He slid into his sneakers and plopped down into the seat.  He stared around his room at the small things, then groaned.  A flash happened and a bag sat on his bed, with everything in it. "Thank you."

"Find my boy," Strife's voice floated out. "He's somewhere in the midwest."

"Sure."  He grabbed the bag and looked inside, then at the nurse helping him.  "My personal possessions?"

"I'll get them on the way out, sir. They're locked in your locker."

"Thank you."  His family really did need him.  She did get them for him and he was wheeled out and into a cab, where he paid him.  "Crime lab."

"Are you a victim, sir?"

"No, I'm a detective.  Now."  That got a nod and the driver took off, taking him that way.  "I'm also native," he noted at the detour.  That got an unhappy grunt.  "I'm the CSI shot yesterday."  The cab driver sped up and took the most direct route.  He shivered when he rode past the old house.  It was still empty and needing fixed thanks to the last cult that had Xander. The cab parked and he got out, paying him and taking his bag inside.  The guards all stared at him.  "Don't give me that look," he said coolly.  "Someone needs to kick some asses."  He looked in the bag.  "Get me up there?"  One nodded and got the elevator for him.  "Thank you."  He got on and hit the button for the detective's floor, knowing at least Frank was in today.  He walked off and put his bag on Ray's desk chair, then looked at Don and Frank.  "Has it escaped your notice that Xander got taken by his mother?"

"We're working on it," Don complained.  Speed swatted him.  "Ow!  What was that for?"

"Did you even know his mother called, Don?"  Don slumped and shook his head.  "Did he try to talk about it?"

"No," he said, looking at him. "He was quiet all week. I thought Greg got kinky with him."

"Not hardly.  Now she's trying to fix him, her and her cult.  They're somewhere in the midwest if that helps."

"It does," Frank agreed, modifying his airline search.  "Any idea why she took him?"

"To fix him, Frank."  He walked off, going to find the rest of his family.  He ran into Ryan.  "Did you get anything more than I did?"

"Only to kick your ass from a certain temperamental person upstairs."

"Get in line, Wolfe. I meant about Xander.  Or Tony?  Did someone manage to actually break the convention up?"

"Yup, ranting about godless whores.  So Tony's back at Xander's house with Danny and Greg today."

"Good.  That'll help him some."  He headed upstairs, going to find Horatio, finding him with his eyes closed.  "His mother has him."

"What are you doing out?"

"Gee, I wonder.  Couldn't be that I need a whole different sort of cane, would it?"  Horatio gave him a dirty look.  "Think I'm kidding?"

"I heard and we're working on it, Speed.  Sit before you fall over.  Where's your things?"

"On Ray's desk chair.  I stopped to nag Don and Frank first."  One of the officer peeked in. "Yes, I put the bag of stuff on Ray's chair."  It was handed over with a smile. "Thanks, and thanks for the card.  It did cheer me up."

"You should still be there."

"I should but the family up here needs me more."

That got a nod.  "They could use you. The glue seems to not be as strong this week for some reason."  He walked off, still happy.

***

Tony smiled as he came off the plane, hugging Abby since she was with Gibbs to pick him up. "Did you have to arrest the security people?"

"Nearly," Abby agreed.  "Are you better now?"

"Well, the convention went odd because someone broke it up by threatening to kill us all for being godless whores.  So I didn't have as much fun as I should have but I had some fun at Xander's house.  He's got things set up so it's easier to wear those urges out."  She nodded and took his arm.  "I got to babysit his pets because he went to check on one of the CSI that got shot down there and got taken by his mother so she could fix him.  Her and her cult from what little they've found out."  Gibbs moaned.  "She apparently called earlier in the week and demanded he come back to her and upkeep her like he should since he's her son.  Now he's probably drugged, injured, and being brainwashed.  If they're lucky.  If not, he's already dead because he fought back.  Which is going to devastate that group down there for fighting like a family. It was still good though.  It gave me a new perspective on a lot of things. I had plenty of chances to wear things out and Greg found out what caused the surges so we fixed that problem.  As long as I can wear it out every few days I'll be back to my old self again."

"Fat chance," Gibbs said firmly.

"Boss?"

"You heard me, DiNozzo.  You're clearly not taking care of things.  So therefore we're going to help you."

"Boss, you're way too dom," he said quietly.

"So?  I can fill in until you can find a better one."

"It's like dating and finding who you want to marry."

"Tough."

"I can't work with you...."

Abby put a hand over his mouth. "The director sold you, Tony.  You and Xander both.  So hush.  Even if I have to help I will.  Now, tonight we're going to your place to talk about this stuff and see if you've got special things that help more than others.  If you do, tell us, it might be fun."  She smiled at him. "You know I like fun."

"I know you do," he sighed, shaking his head.  "This really isn't necessary, guys.  We figured out what happened to make me surge and I'm back to my normal levels.  I'll be fine by going back to what I had been doing, dating a lot and the occasional night out."  He looked at Gibbs.  "Really.  I will be."

"The first time you're not, expect to have us on your ass," he said firmly.

Tony shivered at that thought but nodded. "Sure.  Can we head home?  I need a nap after all the statements about the convention I had to give to the Miami-Dade guys."

"What religious freak did that anyway?" Abby asked.

"Someone who wanted us to be theirs and he wasn't about to let us play with each other.  He saw one guy kissing his female keeper and lost it.  Since he was the assistant mayor it got rather messy and ended in a hostage situation.  Caine, their crime lab guy, had to come in and solve it even though his spouse was in the hospital after being shot."  Gibbs looked at him.  "At a scene, boss," he said quietly.  "Then somehow Xander's mother found and took him so she could get his cult to reprogram him her way.  They're still looking for where they are."

"You can help if we're not doing anything," Gibbs promised.  Tony smiled at that.  "Get your gear."

"I've only got the carry-on, boss.  Xander wasn't there to spoil me the way everyone thought.  But I did have a lot of fun playing with his ferrets and his dragon."  Abby gave him a look so he pulled out a picture to show her.  "See, dragon. His name's Hubert."

"Awww."  She showed Gibbs.  "That's a pet I want."

"I'm sure you can ask him if whoever gave it to him has another one."  He walked Tony off, watching how he moved.  He wasn't sore from all the sex.  Yeah, he might need worn out tonight and who better to show him what he needed to know than Abby, who had admitted she had set him up on dates and taped them before.  He didn't watch much tv, but that Tony porn had been better than any series when Abby had made him watch it.  Maybe he'd make sure he slept tonight.

***

Six months later:

***

Tony pulled out his cellphone, pulling his car over to call.  "Ryan, can you please bat Greg for me?  Well, his phone's saying it's out of service.  Xander's not answering at home.  Neither is Adam and I think I hormoned my boss some.  No, he's scary and possessive.  No, like Eric scary and possessive."  That got a laugh from his new friend.  He nibbled on his bottom lip, looking behind him.  "Well, because he's been over about every day recently, which I don't mind.  He's a great lover and he even lets me cuddle, but today he told a suspect I was his and he couldn't have me."  He listened to the advice. "Do you think I can?  I mean, I've never brought anyone to this point and I know I'm not surging.  No, I never danced for him before.  Why?"  He shivered.  "No, that might make it worse, Ryan.  Yeah, I'm sure.  He's already possessive.  Okay.  I'll see you in a few days.  Can Xander pick me up since I know you guys...   What do you mean you haven't found Xander yet?  How hard is it to find a cult in the midwest?"  He groaned and shook his head.

"I sent what I had to Don, Ryan.  He's somewhere in South Dakota but the group has ties to Cascade, Washington and a small compound in Oregon.  Sure.  In a few days to help.  Thanks, man.  Sure, I'll even play with the ferret babies."  He smiled and hung up, heading to do some minor shopping.  He wasn't heading home.  Gibbs would stop him from leaving.  Then he'd have to dance for him and leave him too stunned to think, which meant he couldn't work. A short vacation would do Gibbs good.  Once he was ready to board, he called Kate's cellphone.  "It's me, I've got to go help look for Xander.  Do not tell Gibbs, Kate.  I will.  Don't worry, I'll leave a message for him.  Thanks."  He hung up and called Gibbs' office phone, knowing he had went home already.  "Gibbs, it's me.  I'm pretty sure my hormones have hit you extremely hard recently, or else you wouldn't have told the suspect that I was yours.  They need me to help look for Xander so I'm going to do that for a few days.  I promise I'll be safe and okay down there.  Don't worry and I'll be back in a week.  Put me on vacation if you want to or whatever.  See you then."  He hung up and turned off his phone so no one would say anything about the plane.

***

Ryan looked up as Tony got off the plane, giving him a grim smile.  "Don said he checked there, they've moved.  But we're trying to track their movements."

"How bad is he going to be?"

"I'm not sure," Ryan admitted. "I know Danny's a sorry bastard at the moment."  He shrugged.  "He was stressed.  Horatio was stressed.  Horatio's going to go slap the crap out of him when they find him because he worried Speed."  He led him off.  "Any bags?"

"Just the carry-on, I learned to travel lightly.  I told the boss I was coming down to help you guys look."

"We know.  We've already gotten a call from an FBI contact telling us he's going to raid us."  That got a groan.  "Well, it's nothing unusual. You're right, you did hormone him badly."

"I've been in control."

"Yeah, well, Horatio had a long talk with him about these things.  He thinks it's still there from when you were surging and it never got fully purged.  He told him how to do that and then you two could talk."

"He made Gibbs listen?"

"He told Abby to tie him down for a few minutes.  Then he repeated it until she finally slapped him and made him listen."

"She does like playing with handcuffs," he admitted, shaking his head.  "Okay, let's go so I can help."

"Play with the ferrets and the dogs, Tony.  It's the best help ever.  They're all depressed because the daddy's not home and Hubert's not enough to keep them cheered up."

"Sure."  They got into the hummer and he took Tony to the house, finding it exactly the same.  It was like someone had come in and frozen time there. The dogs came out to meet him and he let them sniff him before sitting down to pet them.  Ryan handed him their ball and he threw it for them, earning slightly happier dogs.  "I'm here to help get the daddies back, guys.  It'll be okay," he soothed, playing with them.  "We're all okay."

Ryan smiled and went back to work, nodding at Horatio. "I left him playing with Spot one and two."

"Thank you.  Did he have anything new?"

"He thought we would've found them by now."

"So did I."

"Could they be shielding somehow by magic?" Ryan asked.

"How would you tell?" Speed demanded.

"Well, for one thing, I'd ask Richard."  They all stared at him.  "If they're doing something that way he can probably find them that way."  Speed slapped himself on the head and went to find Eric to have him call in the other immortal.  And if not, maybe he could find him anyway.

***

Tony looked up as Xander was finally drug home, getting up to hug him.  "Xander," he soothed.  Xander looked at him, looking confused.  "It's Tony, Xander."

"I know.  Why are you in my house?"

"I came down to help them find you again."  He stroked the younger man's cheek.  "We missed you."  Xander shook his head.

"They screwed him up grandly," Paul admitted.  "He thinks no one down here loves him.  That Horatio was mad at him.  That his family decided to kick him out.  Then his mother imported people who wanted to bring him back to their sides so they could help him heal and be the Xander he used to be.  They even had him working construction, had a guy with a whip there to make sure of it.  So far he's fine but he was hormoning the camp nearly nightly to let it go.  He nearly got away at least once by their records.  They had to hunt him down.  There's one small department out that way who's in deep shit with the FBI for bringing him back as well."  He stroked over Xander's short hair.  "They also cut off his braid."

"We can fix that," Tony promised.  "Did you call the others, Paul?"

"Nope, not yet."  He shrugged and went to do that.  He had Ryan on speeddial.  Ryan had taken his phone and programmed his number in the last time they had run into each other for updates.  "Wolfe, he's home.  Confused, in pain, but home.  No, they were trying to make him the same Xander he was before he left on his road trip.  Trimmed his hair and everything.  No, total chop job.  Sure.  Thanks."   He hung up. "I'm staying until they can get free.  Ryan's about to go in to make a murderer beg.  Eric's off today so he's heading right over.  Go ahead and sit with him, Tony.  It'll help if he's cuddled."  Tony pulled Xander into the living room and let the ferrets and the dogs surround him, making Xander smile.

"Daddy missed you guys," he said quietly.  "I love you guys."  He stroked them all, making happy and content pets when Tony handed him the treat containers.  Even the dragon got some.  "Yes, I missed you too, Hubert."  He went back to petting them, relaxing until he heard the gate open.

"Shh, it's all right," Tony soothed, stroking his hair.  "Your family still loves you.  They've been frantic.  That's why I'm down to help.  That and I ended up needing Gibbs to detox the hormones."  Eric stomped in, then stared at him.  "Quit," he ordered.

"It's shock.  It's strange to see him without hair."   He came over and hugged Xander around the animals, weathering the dogs trying to get him off their daddy.  He looked at him.  "If you EVER stomp off that way again I'm going to spank you.  Hospital or not, Xander."  Xander wilted.  "I mean it!"  He kissed him.  "Now, let's relax.  Paul, I've got it."

"I don't doubt it, but we've got stuff coming.  One of the people holding him hostage was doing it so they could blackmail demons into giving him things and knowledge."  Xander shuddered and curled up some.  "Oh, his mom's dead."  They shared a look.  "One of the FBI agents who helped us ended up shooting her when she attacked him for taking her son.  The woman came after him with an axe."

Eric muttered something, making Xander give him a horrified look.  "What?  She deserved it!  You don't deserve treatment like that!"

"Oh, not the best part.  Those friends Adam put on the watch list?  They were there too.  They managed to escape."  He shrugged and looked outside as another car pulled in.  "Hmm.  Speed's not on the bike?"

"Horatio confiscated the keys because Speed was being a bastard again."  He looked out there, then smiled.  "Good."  Don and Speed walked in.  "Guess who else was there."

"I got the report they sent from the plane," Speed offered, looking at Xander. "I told you to come see me so I could straighten out what Horatio and the others thought.  They were being dumbasses."  Paul snickered at that.  "They were.  It was a stressful day."  He came over to move the ferrets, getting growled at.  He glared at the dog and it quit, letting him pull Xander up to hug him.  "You're home," he whispered.  "You're family and you're home."  He pulled back to look at him.  "Tim is fine.  Timmy is only Horatio's and I yelled at Calleigh for that.  Understood?"  Xander nodded slowly.  "Good.  Now, let Don pounce."  He let him go and Don pulled him over, sitting down in his usual chair to hold him.  He looked at Paul.  "The reports were straight and boring.  What happened?"

"They wanted the old Sunnydale Xander back according to the blonde.  She said she needed him back to help her."

"So, she didn't learn," Eric said bitterly.  "Well it won't happen anymore."  He looked at Xander, then at Paul.  "The blood tests?"

"Oh, they gave him that new herbal stuff that's just now coming out onto the list.  He's confused because of it mostly.  He's coming down but it's about the only thing he's had recently.  They laced food and drinks with it.  How you put that stuff into twinkies I'm not sure, but they did.  They were also trying to remove his tattoos but he was healing okay the last time I saw."  Don looked and stroked over one, bringing his Lord and Master.  "Ares."  He nodded respectfully.

"Paul.  Nice work.  Thank you."  He clapped him on the back.  "Xander?"  Xander blinked up at him.  He had to grin at the look on the kid's face.  "Yeah, you're in trouble," he agreed. "But not of your own making.  Don't like the haircut though.  Looks like they took a weedeater to it."

"We'll get him something more stylish later," Eric assured him.  He looked at Paul.  "What else happened?"

"They were making him work construction under penalty of being beaten and whipped.  His mother was trying to reprogram him by use of some older pictures and stories that she kept trailing off on every night when it went back to bad things.  We watched for about six hours before going in to make sure he was safe and there.  The blond and the redhead helped with that after his mother had went to bed, reminding him of how he had hunted.  The older guy got him during the day, bringing something down to drain what the herbs weren't in exchange for books and things.  We did a full exam and blood workup.  Once he's got that herbs out of his system he should be fine."

"He'll be fine," Ares agreed.

Don looked at him, his eyes cold.  "Can *you* deal with the redhead, blonde, and the old guy this time since we can't seem to keep them?"

"I might be convinced to," he agreed, looking at his nails then at him.  "But Xander would have to ask.  They wronged him."  Xander shook his head and put it down.

Ryan coughed as he walked in.  "Ares, as a chosen warrior, I request that you aid this immortal who is unable to speak for himself," he said formally.  "His friends have punished him for existing, they've used skills you taught mankind to do so.  He was injured by people using your ways and means even though he was innocent of what they charged him with.  The punishment was too hard for the crime of existing.  It wasn't done in your name or in an act that was dedicated to you."  Ares gave him an amused look so he pulled out his pocket knife and slit his hand, holding it up.  "So I swear and vow to have his case heard, read, and those who hurt him punished."

"I hate it when you turn protocol back on me," he complained, walking over to touch Xander's head, hearing his memories.  He shuddered.  "That's bad.  You're right.  Xander?"  Xander looked up at him.  "Will you let me punish them for you?"

"Will they go away forever?"

"Yes, they will.  What they did was very wrong, Xander."  Xander nodded and hugged him. "Good boy.  You rest on Don.  It's necessary."  He stroked over the short hair then nodded.  "Agreed, Ryan.  Even if you did use protocol against me."

"Hey, you're the one who handed me the book," he said dryly.  "Blame yourself."

"That was Strife."  They shared a look and then Ares heard his nephew cackle.  "If I want to help I should go now."  He disappeared.

"See, Strife still loves you too," Don offered, stroking over Xander's back.

"As proven by you guys all being off work and crime starting to build in Miami again," Paul agreed.  He saw the truck and nodded.  "Where, Ryan?"

"Practice room is the usual spot."  That got a nod and they headed out to help the other guards unload it.  "The thing that came down?"

"Had sucker pads on his hands.  He drained him down."

"Charming.  Was he attacked?"

Paul shrugged. "I'd say at least once but I can't be sure."  Ryan nodded and they got everything inside, then he paid the drivers, making them smile.  "Ryan, be a bit more gentle.  He thinks his family abandoned him before he was taken," he said quietly.  "He tried to talk me out of bringing him back here because he thought you guys hated him."  That got a nod. "I'll be in town if you need me."  He walked off, leaving it in the very capable hands of this family.

Ryan watched Xander stare at his babies, then walked in and hauled him off Don, glaring at his hurt noise.  "Come on, we'll go talk.  Bring the babies with us, Xander."  Xander nodded, letting him take the dogs and the dragon getting the ferrets while he drug Xander across the boundary into the other house.  He made Xander sit on the couch over there, staring at him.  "Talk to me," he said gently.  Xander shook his head, cuddling one of the ferrets.  "Please?"  He knelt beside him, making Xander look at him.  "The family was stressed, Xander, not mad at you."

"You were."

"I wasn't."  He stared into his eyes.  "You were in pain before then and it got magnified.  None of us were mad at you.  Even if we were mad because we thought your hormones had caused you to be taken when we needed you to be strong for the rest of us."  Xander shook his head.  "I know.  Now.  It took us a day but we found out.  The same as we found out that you're not the reason that the convention got stopped early due to hostage situation.  Eric thought it was your hormones for a moment then he heard what was going on.  They even asked him if he knew you and he said no, he'd never take anyone with hair like yours."

"Not everything's my fault."

"I know that.  It took a bit longer for Eric to figure out he was doing that.  He's back to reasonable again.  He's been so worried he's even made Marisol worry about you."  Xander looked at him.  "Really.  Not to mention Speed and Horatio are arguing about you too.  They're going to work that out with you later.  As for me, it took me most of the plane ride to figure out what you were saying about being tired of death, that you'd seen too much of it already.  I was slow that day," he offered with a small smile.  Xander shrugged, cuddling the wiggling body tighter.  He got the ferret free, letting him run and pounce the others, giving Xander Beauty to hug.  That got a smile.  "George got his share now it's her turn."  He stroked a finger down Xander's nose.  "I promise we're not mad at you," he said quietly, staring at him.  "Really.  I promise we're not."  Xander blinked at him.  "So please?  Can we cuddle? I need a cuddle and you're the best at it."  Xander nodded, letting Ryan sit behind him and cuddle him. "Now, can we talk?"  Xander shook his head.  "Please?"

"I don't want to talk about it. I want to forget it."

"I understand but will that help you heal?"

"I'm fine."

"You're quiet, you're not fine.  You didn't pounce anyone for a hug."  He stroked over his hair again.  "You do look strange having short hair.  It'll take us a few days to get used to it."  He kissed him on the back of the head, making him shiver and pull away.  "Shh, it's just me. You know me."  He kissed him again, then wrapped his arms around him, making Xander relax.  "I won't do more than cuddle."  Xander wiggled back against his chest.  "Good boy."  He looked up and found Horatio and Speed standing there watching them.  "He's still quiet but he says he's fine."

"He's not fine.  He's making Don pout."  Speed came over, taking the ferrets to hand to Horatio so he could pull Xander up and hold him again.  "You're like my son," he whispered. "You scared the hell out of me by leaving the hospital that way."  He looked back at Horatio, who came over to take his own cuddle.   The ferrets got Horatio's pockets for a while, which was fine with them.

"I'm sorry I said that, Xander.  It's a special name only I get to call him," he said gently. "I snapped at Calleigh for calling him that too."  He stroked over his hair, making him wince.  "Sore?"  Xander nodded. "I'm sorry."  He looked at him.  "He's right, you are like our son.  You worried us sick.  We all thought you had made it to the hospital and only Speed was keeping track of everything but he kept being sedated."  He cupped his cheek.  "Forgive me?"  Xander nodded, staring into his eyes.  "Thank you, and thank you for the warning."  He kissed him on the forehead.  "Now, let's bring the babies back home.  Greg's having to calm down Don's pout and Danny's bouncing around too."

"I thought it'd give them time to make sure everything was ready for a good meal and let him talk," Ryan offered, gathering up the escaping ferrets with the dragon's help.  "Come on, guys."  The dogs followed and Xander let himself be led back over there, watching as Danny pounced him and Xander hugged back.  Then Don got up to steal him.

"Mine."  He cuddled Xander, getting cuddled back.  He relaxed and smiled.  "You're home, baby.  You're home and mine and it's all right.  Everything will be okay now."

Danny stole him back.  "You had your turn."  He kissed him, making Xander's head spin.  "I heard you got herbalized again.  We can help you wear that out and heal.  Do whatever you need, including therapy if you need it, Xander.  You're safe and home again."

Greg snuck between them and into Xander's arms, grinning at him.  "I missed you."  Xander smiled at that.  "We hid the stuff Paul brought in and we'll deal with the bitches if they come for you ever again.  Got it?"  Xander nodded, putting his head down. "Shh, I know it's a hard thing to be rescued.  Let's lay on the couch with the babies and let everyone fuss."  Xander gave him a look.  "You fuss over us, we get to do it to you.  I might even help Speed cook if you're a good boy and let us fuss," he teased with a grin.  He got Xander down onto the comfy sleeping spot Horatio made up for him, helping the ferrets up onto his body.  The dogs both laid down, one at his feet, one at his head.  The dragon took the back of the couch and stared at them.  "Good, you stay there," Greg agreed. "It means you can't steal dinner."  He smiled at Xander. "Meat?"  He shook his head.  "Chocolate?"

"No thanks."

"That's fine.  We'll make something soothing."  Greg went to help Speed in the kitchen. "He said he doesn't want chocolate or meat."

"Which means they forced him to eat meat and regular people food but he's still got the herbal stuff in his body," Speed noted.  "It's a new thing, just now coming out and being found to be bad for us."

"I remember writing the memo, Speed."  Speed nodded at that.  "Anyway, it'll be fine.  We'll talk, we'll work things out.  He'll cling for a bit and then he'll go back to being Xander again.   Or maybe some time with Strife?"

"No, I think Strife's practicing destruction as a method of birth and population control."

Strife appeared, looking at them. "Not much chance to.  Unc took over and I only got his father."  He gave them a look.  "Where's my boy?"

"Living room."  They smiled as he stomped that way.

Strife stared at him.  "You couldn't pray and reach us?"

"They kept cutting off the tattoos," he said quietly, looking at him.  "I thought I had to rededicate them."

"Nope."  He leaned down to kiss him on the forehead, then frowned.  "What tha hell?  Cupid!"  He flashed in, looking confused.  "Our boy here?"

"Yeah, I was helping with the destruction by finding the others, making them want it desperately, like they'd die without it, and unable to get it up or enjoy it, and then leaving them marked for you to finish."  He looked at Xander, then moaned.  "If she wasn't dead, I'd kill her for that.  I liked your hair."  Horatio glared at him.  "I did!  It inspired fantasies in many people!  Chill!"  He reached down to help unbind Xander's body from the chemical hold that had it sucked so deeply in.  He frowned and did it again, then finally looked and snorted. "You managed to get the stress switch stuck, baby.  Bad things happen when you do that."

He finished taking care of it and Xander surged.  He smiled and took out the brain tumor as well, then got him released, making him sigh and fall asleep.  "Good boy.  That's my good boy," he soothed, stroking his hair.  The dogs stared at him.  "Yes, you two are good boys too," he promised, petting them both with a smile. "Guard the daddy, let him nap."  They settled in to watch him to make sure he wasn't going to disappear again.  He stood up.  "He's fine.  The tumor was so large it had fully pressed on the right spots to make him suppressed.  It's fixed too."  They all nodded at that.  He looked at Horatio.  "Good job fixing it.  Now, try it again later when his head's not full of fluffy filling and it'll be okay.  I know Xander, it'll be fine. Just no fights for a few weeks."  He looked at Strife.  "Want my help to punish the others?"

"Oh, yeah," he agreed happily, leaving with him. "We're gonna have some fun now, baby."

Horatio shook his head. "I'd ask to help but I don't think I can be as mean as those two."   He moved closer but Don tucked Xander in and sat under the dog at his feet.  "Sure, you take care of him. I'll go help with dinner?"  Don shrugged.  "Thank you."

"Horatio, I'm going to have possessive bitch syndrome.  There's no way Xander's going anywhere without me for the next few days.  Not even to the can."

"I'll make sure you've got it off, Don."  He went to make that call, making his boss amused but he had expected this so it was fine.  He went to look at the things in the practice room, grimacing in distaste at the magic books.  Maybe Xander would let him burn them.  If not, maybe he'd help him box them up since they were on death magic and things.  Plants was one thing, dead bodies was another.  He went to help Speed and Greg, making them both smile and hug him. "Don's gone possessive."

"Remember the last time you got taken and how you didn't even get to be bothered by Stetler because I growled and pulled you away?" Speed noted dryly.  "Don's doing his impersonation of me."

"I'd expect that," he agreed. "Ryan's sitting beside the couch, Danny's watching them."

"I'll get mine later when we're in bed," Greg assured him.  "Or whenever Ryan moves."  Eric walked into the kitchen.  "He need anything?"

"He could probably use something to drink.  The rest of us could but they're not moving."  He brought sodas back, making Xander shudder.  He got him a juice and it was better.  At least until Aphrodite showed up.

"Oooh, my poor baby!" she cooed, stroking over his hair.  "We'll help you heal, precious."

Xander looked at her, then swallowed and hid under his blanket.

She frowned. "I'm not like her, Xander.  Even if I am a blonde."

"He's still running on instinct," Danny reminded her. "Eventually he'll like blondes again."

She frowned at him.  "I'm not like any other blonde on this planet, thank you."  She pulled down the blanket and zapped him, making him yelp and the dogs growl at her.  "Better now?  I pushed it back some so it was like watching it."  The dogs were still growling so she scowled at them but it got a second one from the dragon.  "Ares?"  He appeared, looking amused.  "I helped but they're growling.  He's still frozen."

"Down boys," Don ordered. "You too, scaley."  The dragon and dogs quit.  He looked at her.  "So he'll heal faster?"

"He should," she agreed. "What I did was made it so it was like watching it happen instead of it happening to him."

"Which means he'll still have to deal with it but it won't cause as many nightmares," Ares offered, petting the nearest dog.  "You're a good boy.  If we get puppies off him, I want one."  He disappeared, making Aphrodite come help him torture others.  After all, Xander was the family's anchor so this should be the family's fun.

Xander looked at them.  "I think she's scary just because she's female," he offered, hiding again.  The ones in there laughed with him.

***

Tony woke up in a whole different house than he had went to sleep in, with his boss standing over him.  "What?" he asked through a yawn.  "I was helping retrieve Xander."

"I saw that.  They let you sleep alone?"

"Ryan said I could've crawled in with him but he needed to cuddle Xander for a bit.  Most of the family was on the bed with them, boss."  He tried to sit up and found his arms bound to the bed with hospital style straps.  "Boss?"

"It's not good for you to run."

"Are you insane?"

"No," he said, glaring at him.

"Are you sure?  You tied me to the bed, Gibbs.  That's not normal Bossman behavior."

"I'm fine, DiNozzo."  He leaned down to sniff him.  "You're broadcasting."

"I am not."

"You are too.  It was floating around your room."

"Boss, there were four other GHS in that house.  Of course it was."  He struggled and got one side loosened enough to slip his hands out, then he undid the other one so he could sit up.  He felt the yank on his ankle and looked down then at him.  "You need to wear those out."

"No, you need to wear those out."  He moved closer.

"Um, no," he said firmly.  "Not happening until you're back to normal, boss.  Sorry but no!"  The door burst inward.  "Kate!   Hi," he said, making sure the sheet was covering him since he knew he was naked.  "Are you here to help Gibbs?  He's not exactly acting sane."

"No, I'm here to take him far away from you, Tony."

"It's not my fault!  I was asleep at Xander's and woke up here!"

"Whose hormones are out of control?" she countered.

"I've been keeping mine down, thank you.  I haven't surged in weeks!  They said this was from the last time I was surging, back when I was still being forced higher by the drugs I got when I was sick."  He looked at the ankle cuff and figured out how to get it open.  "Can I have the key so I can go back to Xander's?"

Kate found it and tossed it over, forcing Gibbs out the door.  Then she slammed the door after him.  "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to put on clothes once I get this undone.  I'm going to go back to Xander's house.  Especially since this isn't even a current problem.  Horatio told him how to wear it out and he didn't."  He finally got it undone and stood up, wrapping the sheet around himself.  "Where am I?"

"Abby's."

"I'm back in DC?"  She nodded, smirking at him.  He groaned and held his head, then walked past her, making sure the sheet was fully tied off.  He headed out the apartment door, finding Gibbs' car down there.  Well, he had his keys.....  He got in and headed back to his place, frowning when a cop stopped him.  He groaned and leaned his head on the steering wheel.  "Pretty night isn't it, officer?" he asked into the horn.

"Are you wearing a sheet, sir?"

Tony looked up at him.  "Coworker prank gone wrong.  So I'm borrowing a car so I can get home.  They have my wallet and everything."

"Okay.  Where do you live, sir?"

"Mayfield.  I'm an agent with NCIS.  I'm on Gibbs' team."

"I've heard of him.  I'll follow you home, sir."

"Sure.  Thank you."  He headed back there, going to his apartment.  He parked and got out, going to knock on the manager's door, seeing his shocked look.  "Gibbs," he said dryly.  "Can I please be let in?"

"You moved.  Gibbs said so."

"Gibbs is a dead man," he said dryly.  "My stuff still up there?"

"Not really.  Some of it.  He said I could yardsale the rest."

"No, you can't. I'll have it moved.  Please let me in?"  That got a nod and he let him up there, watching as he headed to the bathroom.  "Thank you, Henry.  I'm moving, you may not tell Gibbs where."

"Sure, Tony.  What is going on?"

"Apparently my boss decided to kidnap me tonight.  I had been in Miami."  He gathered the stuff up, packing a few bags.  He found his emergency stash of documents and cash, loading it into his pockets.  Then he grabbed two things out of his closet and walked out to Gibbs' car, finding the cop still there.  "I know.  I'm taking a cab.  It can wait here."

"He said you're a federal witness in protection, sir."  Tony showed him his ID, getting an amused look. "He said you'd have one of those."

"Listen.  I'm a GHS member," he said quietly.  He looked at his manager.  "Henry, give me three days, okay?"  That got a nod.  "Thank you!"  He looked at the officer again, seeing his really amused look.  "You know, right?"

"I do.  We were briefed, sir."

"Tony, please.  My boss decided to take me earlier from Miami.  I was with a friend earlier tonight."

"It's only ten, sir."

"Oh, shit, what day is it?"

"Saturday."

"Okay, so he took me yesterday.  Whatever.  I'm heading back out.  I'm not staying where my sanity is in danger.  Okay?"  That got a nod.  "Can I get a ride to the airport or are you going to follow the cab?"

"I'll give you a ride.  Is this everything?"  Tony looked then headed back up there, making sure he had everything he'd need.  He came back down and found McGee beside the cop.  "He said he's going, sir."

"Might be a good idea, Tony.  Have fun in Miami.  Call within a week so we know you're okay and all that.  Kate and I have locked Gibbs down for the night."

"Have Ducky take him back to the place in Baltimore.  He'll know and understand. She can help him and make him wear it down."

"I can tell him that.  You, head off.  Now.  Got everything?"  He handed over a ticket.  "The director is worried too.  He thinks Gibbs is going off the deep end."

"I know a place I can hide and someone who can help me." McGee nodded and opened the door of the cruiser, letting Tony into the passenger's seat.  "Thanks, McGee.  I'll call soon."  He slid in and closed the door, making sure he still had everything.  The officer slid in.  "Thank you."

"Not an issue.  I've heard some about your problems, Agent DiNozzo.  My partner rescued you from Union Station."  He backed out, heading to the interstate.  "Which airport?"

"Um...Reagan please."

"Sure.  So this'll be solved?"

"Oh, yeah.  Something I got given while I was sick made me surge and it got my boss.  It apparently hasn't been worn out yet.  I went to Miami to help with a friend who just got retrieved."  The cop hissed.  "Exactly.  So he had me stolen."   The officer moaned.  "Yesterday apparently.  Now I'm going to hide."

"Sir, from his reputation I'm not sure there's a place for you to hide from him."

"Oh, I am."  He grinned sweetly.  "Some of us have some very good hidden areas."  That just got a nod.  He found his spare cellphone - he loved buy one get one free sales - and called Horatio.  "It's Tony. I woke up back in DC."  He smirked at the groan.  "I'm coming back.  That area where Ryan and Xander talked, can I borrow it? I'll even bring groceries."  He relaxed. "Thank you.  I'll be there soon.  No, don't make any sort of fuss.  He'll know. I can cab.  Thank you."  He hung up and repacked his carry-on with everything in his pockets, making the cop gasp.  "Reparations."

"Wow.  Is there a shot I can take?"

Tony looked at him.  "Half of us are stolen and kept by people who see us as pets," he said quietly.  "They keep us as pampered pets.  They feed us, clothe us, give us pretty things, fix us like bitches in heat, sleep with us even if we don't want to, and keep us locked away from everyone important in our lives."

"Never mind.  They...fix you?"

"That way we can't sleep with a guard to get ourselves out of there.  Or their wives, other pets, no one else but the people who have us.  There's a few who have more than three of us."

"Can't you retrieve them?"

"We can but if they say they want to stay we won't."

"So the ideal is to break them and make them willing and cooperative hostages?"

"Yup.  If they can, then no one in the group outside of your friends would try to take you back.  Now, sometimes our friends will do it or Paul will step in anyway. I've went on a few of those myself."  He looked around.  "Next exit, junior.  I saw the slip past that one."  The cop blushed and headed down the next exit.  "Also, I teach self defense for the society."  He gave him a look. "Plus, we're horribly protective of each other.  The guy who's my first stop is a level ten and powerful enough to enslave most of Miami if he wanted to."  That got a shiver.  "So we're very protective of each other."

"I'll keep that in mind, sir."

"We're normal guys, officer.  It doesn't make us any better in the bedroom, just more needy."

"I'll keep that in mind too, sir.  What happens if I run into one who might be?"

"The website is GHS.org."  That got a nod and the officer pulled into the airport's parking lot.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, Agent DiNozzo."

"Tony, please," he said with a grin.  He got out and got his stuff from the trunk, putting it onto a cart a skycap rolled over.  He checked the trunk and then got his carry-on.  He leaned over. "Whichever of you has the cocaine in the trunk, I'd turn it in.  I'm still a cop and going to a cop's house," he hissed, getting a quick nod. "Evidence report, princess."  He pulled out and grabbed his sunglasses since they had fallen out of his pocket.  He grabbed the ticket and headed inside with the skycap.  "Thank you."  He checked in with a smile.  "Hi."

"Hi, sir.  ID please?"  He handed it over.  She typed it in and looked at him.  "You're an NCIS agent?"  He nodded.  "That explains why you're on the watch list, sir.  Do you have your sidearm with you?"

"No.  I retired this morning."  She nodded, typing that in and then let him through.  He took his carry-on and to the boarding pass, heading off.  The security guards smiled when he did.  "Hi."  He toed out of his shoes, letting them have them.  His bag went onto the conveyor.  Everything cleared but the residue scanner.  "I'm a newly retired NCIS agent," he said, showing off his old ID.  They hand wanded him and passed him through.  He made it onto the plane with a sigh of relief.  He put his carry-on under the seat in front of him and relaxed, making sure he wasn't surging when a few people gave him interested looks.  He pulled down the shade once they started to move.  He turned off the light.  By the time the stewardess came around he was asleep.  She cooed and covered him but left him alone after that.

***

Tony came out of Miami's airport the next morning, looking around.  He spotted a guy he knew and moaned, shaking his head when he came over.  "Just go away, man.  I retired this morning."

"I know.  Kate called me," he offered quietly, staring at him. "You're GHS?"  Tony nodded.  "Damn, I never expected that.  A slut, but not GHS.  Can I give you a ride?"

"No, I'm going to hit a friend up for keys to his hiding spot.  He's with the local PD."

"Sure. Need help?"

"Just a cab."  That got a nod and one got summoned over for him.  He even helped him put everything into the trunk.  Tony smiled.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  He watched as Tony left, calling Kate.  "I put the tracer on his suitcase.  It should work no matter what.  He said he's getting keys from someone in the local PD.  Sure I'll do that.  He looked rested, like he had slept on the plane.  No, not really jumpy.  Thanks, Kate."  He hung up and went back to his office.  It was only an hour before he had to report.

Tony gave the driver the address once he was away from the airport. The driver smiled at him. "We're friends and I'm heading out of the city."  That got a nod and the driver minded his own business, only radioing back to his base.  "So, how is the FBI down here?"

"We don't much like your friends locally, Agent DiNozzo."

"I'm pretty sure I quit when I ran."

"Sorry.  So, going to stay with Mr. Harris?  By the way, is he all right?"

"He's just been rescued from his mother's cult.  No."

"Oh.  No wonder we haven't seen him at the station."

"You have the crime lab under surveillance?"

"I can't comment.  Sorry."

"Uh-huh."  Tony let himself spike just a bit, making the driver moan.  "Ryan is my friend," he said quietly, leaning forward.  "I'm hoping there's no reason for you to be watching *him*?"

"No, no reason," he moaned, pulling over.  "Please don't. I can't take it and I don't want to face Fornell.  Please, Agent DiNozzo?"

"Tell me why and I'll quit."  He stroked his cheek with a finger.  "Please?"

"Um, well...."  He swallowed and looked at him, turning around.  "Okay, we are.  It's not the agency's thing but we're watching over them for another one.  They think there's some drug irregularities and a few murders.  Is that good enough?"  Tony nodded.  "Please quit?"  Tony rolled down the window.  "Can't you solve it the other way?"

"If I do, can you drive?"

"Please," he moaned.  Tony did a quick, sudden spike, and then let it fall just as suddenly.  The agent moaned and got off, panting against his door.  "Thank you."  He looked at him.  "No wonder Gibbs wants you back."

"Yeah, well, not until he's detoxed. I'm not staying here either.  I'm visiting Xander and then leaving again."  That got a nod and the agent turned back around to drive. "Thank you."

"Please don't let them know I told you?"

"I won't.  Or Fornell.  He's an annoying ass."  He grinned and patted him on the shoulder.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  He pulled up to the gate and let Tony input the code, then he drove up to the garage and helped him get his things.  "I hope you stay safe, sir."

"Thank you."  He waved and waited until he left to look at the door.  "I need to hide.  Can I borrow the talking spot?"

"Sure," Don agreed.  He came out to help him by grabbing a few bags.  "Horatio called."

"Thank you, Don.  Gibbs went insane."

"Are you all right?"

"Well, I woke up plugged.  Nothing else.  Strapped to the bed."  He grabbed the last one and came back in.  "Can I run out and get groceries?"

"Oh, please.  There's plenty.  There's an orchard, a garden, and if you can hunt there's hunting too."  He opened the doorway to the alternate realm a demon who had wanted Xander had given them, smelling the mustiness.  "You might need to open windows and things."

"Thanks."  He drug everything through and put them all in the spare bedroom he had borrowed the last time, which was apparently Ryan's bedroom since he was in there.  "Ryan?" he called quietly, remembering he usually jumped awake.  Which he did and made Tony blink.  "Hi.  Put the sword down?"  Ryan frowned his sword and put it down. "Are you hiding too?"

"No, I was going to make sure things were set up so you could.  Sorry, napping."

"That's fine."  He grinned. "I'll be okay.  Do we have a rifle for hunting?"

"In the closet in the practice room.  Along with a bow and arrows, plus Xander's old crossbow and bolts."  Tony grinned at that and nodded.  "Need anything else?"

"No, I should be okay.  Is the former owner around?"

"We're not sure," he admitted.  "If he gives you any trouble tell us."  He gave him a hug, making Tony relax.  "It'll be fine.  He can't track you here. I promise he can't.  There's cable so you can relax.  Need me to do anything?"

"I wrote an email to the moving service I usually use using the plane's system.  I gave them Xander's email account so he could tell me when they had my stuff in storage.  I also wrote an email to my bank saying that I was putting Xander and you both on my account because I had to leave the country for a while and you two would be making all payments for me for a while.  I wrote a certified letter after I woke up over North Carolina."  He dug it out and handed it over.  "There, for them and anything else that needs it.  I really appreciate this."

"It's not like we use it all the time."  He grinned.  "Rest.  You're safe now.  Remember to come see us if you need anything."  Tony nodded and drug his bags toward the closet.  Ryan helped.  "Need anything else?"

Tony looked at him.  "I need to see Horatio about something I heard."

"Later in the morning.  He's in his room at the other house.  I'll have him wake you up."  Tony nodded and stripped down, making Ryan smirk and spank him.  "Be a good boy, Tony.  We'll even let the dogs come play."  He headed down and across the portal, finding Speed up.  "He heard something Horatio needs to hear but he's taking a shower."

"That's fine.  Horatio won't be out of the shower for another thirty minutes."  He looked at the paper in his hand then at him.  "Power of attorney?"

"Yup.  He had a moving company put his stuff in storage too."

"Good.  That might help.  How long should the detox take?"

"Tony was still jumpy.  It's going to be a while. By the way, I left the tracking device I saw there with him.  Just in case."

"That's fine."  Speed grinned as Xander wandered out, giving them both a hug.  "Go shower, Xander.  We'll have someone take you out for a trim today."  Xander grimaced.  "Try the short hair for a while and if you don't like it, you can always magic it longer again."  Xander nodded and stumbled into the kitchen, falling to his knees to kiss Don's cock and suck on him for a while.  "Ah, he missed his morning infusion."

"In the kitchen?" Ryan complained.

"It's not like it's going to spray anything," Speed said dryly.  But he did stop Eric from waking in there.  "Xander's having a sleepy blowjob moment."

"In the kitchen?"  Don yelped and they all heard Xander chuckle evilly.  "Never mind I don't want to know."   He peeked in.  "Are you both decent?"

"Yeah," Don agreed, letting go of the counter.  "I didn't let him blow me this morning so he was missing it."  He pulled Xander up and kissed him.  "I'm home all day. You could've waited and not traumatized everyone else."  Xander kissed him again, making him smile.  "Yes, I love you too, Xander.  Now go bathe so we can get your hair trimmed.  I want to see what you look like with a real haircut for at least a few days."  Xander nodded and went to do that, even coming out dressed.  Don poured himself some juice, making Eric laugh.  "It's my treat.  I get it every morning."  He sipped it, nodding at Horatio when he came down.  "Tony's here."

"Is he okay?"

"He's fine," Ryan said, "but he wanted to talk to you about something he heard."

"Sure."  He headed over there, finding Tony in bed.  He smiled and laid down beside him, stroking his side.  "Tony?"  Tony blinked at him.  "What did you need to tell me?"

Tony put his head on Horatio's shoulder.  "The FBI is watching your lab," he said quietly.  "It's not an FBI thing but they're helping the people who think you have drug irregularities and a few murders.  The cabbie who was playing pretend said he didn't want to be yelled at by Fornell but it wasn't an FBI action."  He yawned.  "I know there's a tracker. I saw it in the airport."

"It won't work over here.  I've already made sure of that," he promised, stroking over his hair.  "Did you hear which agency made the request?"  Tony shook his head.  "Then it's enough for me to start with.  I'll be careful."  Tony smiled.  "You be good and we'll be in and out.  Pop around when you need to have some company or I'll send Eric and Ryan over to play now and then, or Greg."

"Thank you, Horatio."

"You're welcome, Tony.  You rest."  Tony nodded and closed his eyes again, so Horatio slipped off the bed and headed back to the house, finding the federal agent who had come for Greg in the kitchen.  "Why are you here, Agent Heartstone?"

"Where is Tony DiNozzo?"

"Already gone."

"Your boy just said he needed to speak to you.  You disappeared."

"I went into the closet to call him.  It's shielded."

"I see."  He nodded.  "Is he in danger?"

"No.  His boss got overly surged on and it made him cranky," Ryan told him. "Anything else?  Most of us are cranky without caffeine."

"Just wondering a few things.  Like which one told him about the FBI surveillance."

"He didn't tell me anything.  Who are you watching?" Horatio asked.  "And on whose orders?"

"I can't divulge that," he said immediately.  He suddenly moaned and caught the counter as his knees wobbled. "That's cruel, young man."

"Not him, me," Greg said dryly.  He made him look at him. "I'm not the nice one.  That's Danny."  He grinned sweetly.  "Now, why are you watching the lab this time?"

"Mur...  Murder and drugs."  Greg turned it up a bit, making him whimper.  "Please?"

"That's mean," Speed said firmly.

"Yay."  He patted him on the cheek.  "I'm only a level four but I'm very possessive of my family since my last one drove me off.  This is my new family and I'm going to protect them even if I have walk into the Hoover building and let loose with my hormones.   Understood?"  That got a nod.  He put some paper and a pen in front of him.  "Write it out," he whispered in his ear, turning it on high.  The man scribbled a few words then went limp as he came.  "Good boy."  He got him up and into the guest bathroom, helping him clean up.  It was the least he could do. Then he took him back to his car so he could head out once he woke up.

"That was not an approved interrogation technique," Don said firmly.  "I'd get yelled at for that."

"Not by me," Horatio assured him.  "Let me know first.  Or Frank, Don." He read the notes in the very sloppy handwriting.  "Something else for me to do this morning.  Xander, can you put the coffee into my travel mug?"

Xander pointed at the study, frowning at him.  Horatio smirked and headed that way with his mug of coffee, Speed and Ryan going to help.  Xander looked at Don and kissed him.  "Can I go with Greg when he does that since there was an agent who found me a few weeks earlier?"

"Sure, baby, we'll do that together," Greg promised, grinning at them.  Xander beamed back and Don hugged them both, making Greg groan.  "Thank you, Don."  He snuggled in with them; it was a good cuddle.

Danny came out and took a picture, then went to help whoever was in the office.

***

Tony looked up as he was woken for the second time, looking at the large black and red demon.  "What are you?"

"Who are you?"

"Tony.  Xander said I could hide here."  He sat up, pushing his hair off his forehead.  "What are you?"

"The maker of this realm."

"Oh.  Xander told me about you."  He stared at him.  "Please don't play mind games with me.  I have enough of that at home."

The demon stared at him then sat beside him.  "You are like the others?"

"I am.  Why?"

"Because what you are is so rare and coveted that many would lose their lives to court your kind."

"Yeah, but are we actually compatible?"

"Some are, some aren't.  I am."

"No you're not," Xander called.  "Tony, I made you breakfast."  He came up the stairs and looked at the demon.  "Be nicer to Tony.  He's had a shitty few weeks, Boryguard."

"Must I?"

"Yes," he said impatiently.

"Forgive him, he's just gotten back from being stolen and he's got protective syndrome about me.  Cuddle, Xander?"  Xander came over to cuddle in next to him.  "I could never date anyone who was harmful to me in any way," he noted calmly.  The demon pouted. "The same as I would wither and die as a kept pet."

"I understand."  He stroked down Tony's hair.  "There are a few who would be wonderful to you both if you would let me bring them here."

"I've got Danny, Don, and Greg," Xander said, pouting over Tony's shoulder at him.  That got a nod.  "I can and will advise Tony on any demons who try for his hand."

"I will tell them thus."  He stroked over Xander's hair.  "You are not touched by us any longer but I would gladly change that and so would others."  He disappeared.

Xander looked at him.  "Want to come back to the house?"

"No, he woke me up."  Tony curled up on his side, face in Xander's chest.  "I'll eat later.  Thank you."

"Welcome, Tony.  You rest.  You deserve and need the rest."  Tony nodded, drifting off to the soothing touches Xander was using to stroke his back and arms.  Xander was mentally swearing at the demon for trying to harm his friend.  He knew better.

***

Horatio came back to Xander's for lunch and found him underneath a fur blanket asleep with a new haircut. It was shorter and spikier, more like Greg's new/old haircut - the one Warrick had made him grow out.   He also saw him body struggling to breathe.  He moved the blanket and saw why, considering the snake.  He called Speed.  "It's me.  There's a large snake on Xander.  No, the ferrets are in the cage.  Hubert's sleeping in front of it.  Hubert, can you help me with the snake?"  It huffed and shook his head.  "Thanks."  He hung up.  "Watch for Speed for me.  Bring him in here."  The dragon huffed at one of the dogs, who ran outside to watch for the uncle. Horatio looked around the boy's body, finding a few other presents.  He grimaced and carefully moved them, watching the snake.  It looked like a constrictor.  Danny came rushing in with the dog. "Stop.  Large snake."

"I can see that."  He came over and looked at it, taking a picture.  "Eric's looking it up in the database."  His phone rang with a text message.  "It's an Amazon Python?"

"So it's a constrictor?"

"Doesn't mean it won't bite," Danny complained.  "Where's Greg?"  Hubert nodded toward the open doorway.  "Greg!"  He came jogging back.  "Snake?"

"The demon that created the other realm came to see who and what Tony was.  Xander sent him off after Tony said he'd never date anything harmful to him.  So he's got another demonic suitor.  He said another few wanted Xander too.  I don't know why a snake, but I think it came from that.  Tony nearly got stabbed by his jeweled scorpion statue so I was helping him."  He went back to finish that.  They could handle a snake.

Speed pulled in on his bike with another officer behind him.  "Horatio, I found a guy who has snakes," he called.  They came in stared.  "Okay, that's a large snake."

"It is," the officer said in awe.  "You can't usually find those outside of the rainforest."  He came closer.  "Do we have a trunk, a bag, something?"  Speed and Danny went to empty one of the present trunks of crap, pouring it out onto the floor.  They checked and it had refilled.  So they tried another one. That one had books and didn't refill.  Speed winced at the abuse to the books, but then he saw how many of them were on dead-things magic and decided it was okay.  Not like anyone he knew was going to use it.  They carried it back and the officer carefully coaxed the snake into it with the small mouse he had stopped to get at the pet store.  When it was finally all in there, he dropped in the mouse and closed the lid, locking it.  "Thanks, guys.  I've got a friend at the zoo.  I'll see if he wants it."  He saw Hubert and stared.  "What are you?"

"Xander calls him a baby dragon," Speed offered.  "No, you can't take him.  Hubert loves the ferrets."

"I can tell, he's guarding them.  You're adorable, cutey."  He scratched his head, getting a purr and a snort of steam.  "I can see why he calls you a dragon.  Help me get this one to the car?"  He lifted the lid to check, frowning.  "It's stone?"

Speed looked then looked up.  "Not nice."  It changed back.  "Leave it that way so others can enjoy it."  The snake hissed and lunged.  They locked the trunk and carried it out to the cruiser, letting him take it anywhere but there.  Because none of them liked snakes.  Speed looked at the other stuff, then around.  "Greg?"

"Helping Tony.  He got stung by something like that only it was a scorpion."

"Wonderful.  Hurting the humans means you don't get to charm them into keeping you," he called, glaring up.  "Really!"  Greg yelped and came back with Tony.  "He okay now?"

"Yeah, and the scorpion turned back into gemstones and won't reactivate.  He even got some white roses in apology."  He shrugged and handed over the scorpion.  "The snake?"

"Went with an officer.  I think he's taking him to a guy at the zoo so many others can enjoy it."  Danny walked outside muttering and let out a loud scream of rage.  "Sorry," he called.  He looked at the stuff, then at Greg.  "What's this new one?"

"Not a clue," Greg admitted. "It hasn't shown up here yet."  He shrugged.  "I have no idea."

"Sure."  He looked at Tony.  "Are you all right?"

"So far."  He grimaced and came over to look at Xander's presents.  "He got prettier ones."

"He's got a whole safety deposit box of gemstones he hasn't touched," Horatio admitted.  "These are unique and show pieces but Ryan would say the crown was odd."  A new box appeared and he looked at it.  "Hmm."  He opened it so they could see.  "Live lobsters."

"I'll put them in the fridge for tonight," Speed agreed, going to do that. "It's a bottomless box?"

"Maybe," Horatio called back.  He looked up.  "I'm appreciating this one," he offered. "But Speed is my keeper."  Speed yelped.  "Are you all right?"

"One of the lobsters nipped at me.  His band slipped."  He came back sucking on his finger.  "It's all right.  I'm fine."  He let Horatio kiss it and gave him a smile for it.  "Thanks.  Any idea why he won't wake up?"

Greg looked and plucked something off Xander's neck, making him gasp and wake.  He held up pendant. "I'm guessing it's this."  He carefully put it aside and helped Xander up so he could strip the new silk t-shirt style shirt and jammie bottoms off him, leaving him naked.  "Did he touch you?"  Xander slowly shook his head.  "Are you sure?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  Go shower.  Then we'll let you decide what you want to wear."

"My hair."

"Go shower the rest of yourself."  Xander nodded, going to do that.  "He fusses over his hair," he shared.  That got some smiles.  "Okay, let's lay those out on the formal table so the rest of everyone can see them?"  Horatio and Speed nodded, getting Danny and Tony to help them while Greg cataloged with pictures and things.  By the time Ryan got there for lunch, Xander had decided to finish his nap in bed instead of the shower and everything was displayed and noted.  Ryan looked at the group and Greg grinned.  "A new one."

"This one has better taste."  He picked up the crown, looking at it closely. "It's got Zeus's and Athena's marks on it."  He put it on and moaned, then took it off and went to call Don.

"I'm guessing it makes you smarter or gives you insight," Greg offered, making that note as well.  He smiled at Horatio and Don when they came in from the kitchen.  "Is the lab closed?"

"Yup.  The same guy who put the snakes in it somehow got teargas into the ventilation system.  We're down for an hour.  We're praying for no new bodies or being able to take that long on the scene."

"Sure," Greg agreed.  "Remember, I can help if you need me to."

Horatio moved closer.  "Greg, one of the reasons I came home was that two very interesting openings came up in my daily inbox.  Philadelphia is offering a level two slot, and you are qualified for that now.  Or your old team has a level one/two opening for someone who's an experienced level one."

Greg stared at him. "Night shift?"

"Day shift."

"Oh."  He considered it.  "I don't know, Horatio."

"I know, but it is something to think about.  Even if we would hate to see you go, Greg."  Greg smiled at that and hugged him.

"Hands off my bitch," Speed said firmly.

Horatio looked at him.  "You'll be paying for quite a while tonight, Timmy."

Speed just grinned. "I would but I'll be up most of the night in the lab."  Horatio shook his head. "Yes I will."

"No you won't."  He smirked back.  "Tonight is not Rachel's night off."  Speed shuddered at that.

"Who's Rachel?" Greg asked.

"The new trainee for night shift," Don said with a grin.  "She's a squealer and she *loves* Speed.  Asked him if he ever thought about becoming a surrogate since he's in a gay relationship.  Hinted about CSI babies."

"I shot back Calleigh refused.  She pouted and hugged me, getting in a good grope."

"I mentioned that to her," Horatio said patiently.

"I know you did.  She pouted at me the next day and said she wouldn't care if it took both of us as long as she got a night with me.  That she'd even let you take her like a boy since I clearly topped you all the time."  He grinned sweetly.  "She said she wanted to be the mother of our child."

"Fat.  Chance."

"I told her I was infertile."

"Thank you," he said, giving him a hug. "You're still going to pay for the bitch comment."  Greg giggled at that.  "He will."  He looked up as rose petals fell, smiling at them.  "That is a very nice and romantic touch," he offered, then he plucked some out of Speed's hair and off his shoulders, kissing him again.

Cupid appeared and sniffed one then looked up.  "It smells like you rubbed them on mom's panties.  Did you think they needed *more* sex?"  He took a handful to shower on Strife, making him giggle and chase him.

Horatio and Speed kept kissing.  Don, Ryan, and Greg got together to kiss and fondle each other, and it was nice.

Mac stomped in.  "I can understand the tear gas giving you guys a long lunch, but did you really think the orgy in here was a good use of that time?" he demanded.

Xander came out and looked up. "No making the harem have an orgy," he complained. "Some of them are together as the advisors and some are mine.  I don't want to be left out and left alone tonight."  A few of the flower petals drifted out to touch him, making him shiver.  He looked at Mac, who turned him around and gave him a nudge into the trio, which made them all very happy because Xander had the best mouth of all of them and he'd let them do whatever they wanted.

Mac sighed and stomped off.  He hated it when Xander's suitors started to show up again.  They always did flashy things.  Though this one seemed to have a romantic bent at the least. He went back to his desk and found a lunch waiting on him with Stella nibbling on hers.   "Are we clear?"

"At the moment.  I made sure Dispatch knew.  We'll be fine while they air out their lab."

"And have the orgy.  Something the new present giver did created one."

"Wow.  Was it good looking?"  Mac stared at her.  "Sorry, having a smutty mind moment."

"I can tell."  He shook his head and dug back into his lunch.  "Thank you for picking this up."

"It wasn't me," Stella said.  They looked at the meal and put down their forks. "We're only advisors," she called quietly.  A fruit torte was put down for them to share since it was so large.  "Thank you.  We'll tell Xander how good it was."  She got the feeling it left and she looked at him. "There are days I like being part of Xander's harem.  This one can cook."

"It's still ...."  He moaned when she stuffed his mouth with a bite of her lunch.  "Fine."

"Thank you, Mac."  She watched Sheldon walk past with a bowl of salad.  "Brought lunch?"

"No, but it had my name on it," he admitted.  "Another one?"  They both nodded.  "This one has good taste so far.  It's got a great dressing."

"Our lunch was good too," she said with a smile.  "We've got a fruit torte if you want a piece."

"Sure."  He pushed his salad aside and accepted a piece, going back to his eating and walking while he thought.

***

Tony snuck over, watching the action.  Speed was very aggressive and Horatio was soaking it up.  Xander was giving his all licks and fondles like they were his favorite chew toys.  It was more than hot enough to make him masturbate.  He went back to the other realm, finding a nice selection of sex toys waiting on him.  He moaned as he picked up one to look at it.  It seemed to be trying to wiggle into his mouth.  He laid down beside the group and watched as that one did move when he let it go.  He let it go into his mouth. He loved that feeling and this one was good.  He could appreciate this suitor.  Especially when one very good toy nudged his opening after climbing in his boxers.  He shifted and it slid in, moving on its own.  Oh, yeah, he could definitely appreciate this one.  It could cook, it was apparently a decent lover.  It had good taste in presents.   Now if only it wasn't detrimental to humans...

***

Tony looked up as the human looking thing sat down next to him outside.  "Hi," he said quietly.

"You're like the other one?"

"I am," he agreed.  "Just less strong."

"Sometimes subtlety is an asset."  He looked him over, letting Tony do the same.  "Why are you here?"

"I accidentally infected my boss with my hormone surge.  He's coming down from it and it's better if he not see me until he's fully down."

"Hmm.  Was it your intention to infect him, even a little bit?"

"I like him like a friend but not that way," he admitted.  "He's...forceful."

"I see."  He shifted more to look at him.  "You are quite handsome and strong in your own right."

"Yes, but I've only dated within my species before and all I know about demons are what the nuns taught me, they're all bad."

The demon nodded. "Not all of us.  Some of us just exist."

"I know some are harmful to us by trying to eat us.  Xander told me some about having to protect in the past."

"True, but there is always a higher predator, even for vampires."

"Are you one?"

"No."  He smiled.  "Nor am I detrimental to humans."  Tony tipped his head at that.  "There are many who are and who covet the weaker human pets."

"I'm one of them."

"Yes, but your kind are highly valued.  We overlook you being human because you're so special and rare."  Tony snorted at that.  "We do."

"I'm still human."

"Point.  To reassure you, I eat meat, but mostly cow.  I like cows.  Raw, but I do cook it for my guests and lovers.  My kind are not harmful to humans by touch or magic.  Sometimes by deed."

"What does your kind do?"

"My clan banks."

"So you run the demon banks?"

"We do.  We are also very protective of our clans and families."

"So you're the demonic mafia?" he asked.

The demon laughed.  "That comparison has been made in the past but we do not deal in drugs or weapons.  Or slavery.  We only take willing pets."  He looked at Tony.  "One who is mine would be mine until the day I die.  If that were before they did, my family would take care of them until they decided to move on.  We hold normal relationships and conventions. A few have even married normal humans."  Tony nodded at that.  "Our touch," he offered, stroking Tony's hand and up his arm, "is not harmful.  Nor is our scent, our seed, or our desires.  They are much like yours only from a higher being."

Tony considered it.  "As I said I've only dated within my own species before and I do have friends and those who are like my own family."

"I would not harm them.  Unless someone tried to take you from me."

"Gibbs might.  He's my boss but he's also my friend. I respect him; he's saved my life, and I've saved his, in the past many times.  You couldn't be jealous of the time I spent with them or working."

"I would harm none who didn't mean you harm," he assured him.

Tony nodded.  "Then the next time you come back, you can tell me more about yourself and your people."  The demon grinned.  "I do believe in dating.  I'm not one to suddenly climb into bed with someone I don't know.   Especially without some research and knowing what their families are like."

"Agreed."  He smiled. "I will be back tomorrow.  Try the black fruits.  They're very sweet but with a hint of tanginess."  He disappeared.

Tony smiled and looked at the new tree, watching it for a few minutes.  This demon seemed very nice, even though he had no idea what it was.  He got up and got a piece of fruit, heading to the doorway.  It was closed.  He frowned.  That probably meant Xander had company who shouldn't know he was there.  Or the dragon had done it again.  Better to be safe and not sorry or taken home by Gibbs.   He sat down to nibble on his fruit, liking this one very much.  It tasted sort of like a very sweet orange, but with the consistency and texture of an apple.  He finished it and went to clean his hands off, then went back to his reading.  Beside his book was a glass of lemonade.  He smiled as he sat down.  This one was at least thoughtful.  Better than those who simply stole and kept.

***

Xander looked at his guest as he stomped into the living room.  "Gibbs."  Fortunately he had heard the gate and closed the doorway before he saw or heard Tony.

"Mr. Harris.  Where's DiNozzo?"

"Safe.  Until you're detoxed."

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine. You're sweating.  You broke into my house and my guest room to take Tony home when you knew he wasn't in danger.  You knew we'd keep him safe and he was trying to help me recover from what my mother's cult did."

"I heard what happened.  The FBI did punish their own."

"Thank you."  He got comfortable, going back to his brushing and oiling his dragon's scales.  "I can promise you he's safe until this is fully out of your system."

"I'm fine now."

"Then you wouldn't be sweating and your hand wouldn't be on your gun," he said calmly.  "I can guarantee you if you try to harm me you will regret it for the of your very short life."  Gibbs' hand moved.  "Thank you."  He stared into his eyes.  "Do you still feel the need to send an assault team down and then lock him in a cage?" he asked calmly.  Gibbs growled.  "Do you?"  He sat down.  "Then it's not fully out of you yet, Gibbs.  When it is, you'll know.  It'll be like it was before you found out this secret.  Before he got sick."

"I cared for him then too," he admitted quietly.

"Which is wonderful but do you think you could hold Tony together?"  Gibbs glared at him.  "It's the truth.  If Tony was still having sex now and then before and still broadcasting unconsciously, then do you think you could hold him sane?  Could you let masseuses and others touch him to help you?  Could you let him go into the field undercover? If he had worn you out, could you send him to someone else to help?  Could you give up being a dom for him and learn our ways if that's what he needed and wanted?"

"Some of those are nos," he said quietly, staring at him.

Xander stared back.  "Until they're not, that would mean you'd be no better than those who tried to kidnap him the last time to keep him as a pet, Jethro."

"He told you my name?"

"I did my research.  Tony's a friend.  Otherwise I wouldn't have hid him the way I am."  He shifted, going back to helping his pet.  "The very fact is the Dominant tendencies you have would be something that would hurt Tony very much.  Many of us have ended up fully broken at the hands of one of you. Very few of us end up with the two doms we have in the society who do things with pleasure instead of pain.  Mostly that's job stress and needing to let it go after bad things happen.  I'm not sure if Tony is one or not," he said at the opening mouth.  "I do know the one in Baltimore does keep a safe place for us to wear things out as well."  He nodded slowly at that.  "For right now, you must wear out this contagion first.  Then you'll be able to think and decide what you want with rational motives.  Instead of your hormones screaming at you.  Right now you're like a dog who's sniffed a bitch in heat."

Jethro nodded at that.  "I can understand that.  That could take a while however."

"It could. She couldn't help?"

"She tried.  It helped some."

"Good.  Now do it some more.  Or there's one in Las Vegas who isn't part of the society but a few of us have went to her and some of her sort to learn some control techniques."

"You did?"

"I did.  The one here in Miami helped me learn how to focus my broadcasting in one area instead of all over a room.  I also learned vocal and physical control techniques.  I figured it'd help me in the long run."  Gibbs looked stunned.  "If someone has me, I have to be able to get out of there, I can't rely on Paul to save me.  The same as Tony can't rely on him or you to save him.  We have to be able to save ourselves.  Even if that means surging when we're so unhappy we can't get physically hard.  We still have to be able to bring it back up through mental imaging and then use it on the people who have us.  It's the fastest and safest way of getting free.  That and using it on the guards to help us get free."

"I understand.  It's a good thing. I didn't know you could do that."  He frowned.  "Can Tony?"

"It's easier for the higher levels.  It's something level eights and above can do unconsciously and sometimes consciously.  I have to use mental imaging to bring myself up to the point where I want it and am horny.  The lower levels sometimes do it unconsciously.  The domme I worked with down here helped teach Greg at the same time as me."  The dragon butted his hands.  "Sorry, Hubert."  He went back to brushing his scales with a hard brush dipped in oil.  "Dragons need some oiling now and then."

"I'd imagine so."  He looked at the pet.  "He's adorable."  The dragon looked at him and seemed to grin.  "Is that DiNozzo?  I remember your trick with the hair color."

"No, this is Hubert. I found him on a semi-recent road trip to another realm."

"Realm?"

"There's many strange things that we see in GHS.  Including the fact that I seem to draw demons."  He looked up.  "I can feel you."  The one who had been talking to Tony appeared and handed him a book.  "What's this?"

"An identification manual other than what the Watchers used, Protector."

Xander looked at him and nodded, seeing the lust.  "I'll keep it in the library on the desk.  Thank you."

"You are welcome."

"Did the crown come from you?"

"No, that one was the green bookmark.  The other things were from the blue one.  Though I did make the food.  The other one couldn't cook and I knew your harem needed fed since you were so exhausted from your ordeal."

"Then I thank you.  It was very good."  The demon smiled and bowed.  "I'll put it on the desk in a while."

"Thank you.  Try the dark fruit I left over there.  It's quite good."  He disappeared.

Xander put it down beside him and looked at Gibbs, who was struck dumb.  "Yes, he was.  He's the type that runs the demon bank."

"How...."

"The world is a wider place than you think, Gibbs," he said calmly.  "With me being from Sunnydale, my hormones naturally draw more demons than humans."  Hubert looked up and snuffled at him.  "Well, take your brush and let him help you then."  The dragon picked up the brush in his mouth, heading over to hop into Gibbs' lap.  "With the grain."

Gibbs looked down, brushing him.  The dragon purred and curled up, letting him do whatever he wanted.  "Thanks, kid."

"Welcome.  Tony will stay safe.  I won't guarantee someone like that one won't offer to court him but they all know if they hurt Tony I'm going to kill them.  All.  Every last one."  Gibbs smirked at that.  "I'm very protective and possessive over what's mine and my family.  Tony is under my family's protection."

"Harem?"

"According to the demonic viewpoint anyone I gather around me as lovers, helpers, or might-as-well-be family are my harem.  That includes the ones we go to for advice and comfort when we fight. That probably means Tony's included at the moment but we see him as under our protection."

"Oh.  Okay," he said, going back to brushing the dragon.  The brush was starting to scratch so he dipped it in more oil and wiped it off before going to a new spot.  The dragon moaned and stretched out for him, earning a smile.  "Talk about hedonists."

"He is, just like me," Xander agreed happily.  "He even loves my ferrets as friends and napping buddies."

"So I've heard."  He looked up at Xander, staring him down.  "Tony will be safe?"

"As safe as I can make him, Gibbs."

"Thank you.  I'll work more on my contagion, as you put it, and we'll hopefully be able to bring him back to work in a few months."

"Until then I can let him use my laptop to do some online college courses.  That way he's not bored stupid.  If he needs help wearing it out, I'm sure we can arrange something or let Ryan go over there to help him, or Greg if he wants.  We'll take good care of Tony."

"Thank you."  He handed the dragon back and got up, heading out to his car, ignoring the oil stain on his knee.  He took off his wire as he backed down the driveway, avoiding both dogs since they were laying in the driveway and didn't seem to want to move.  His hotel room was nearby and McGee could help him more with Ducky calling from DC.

Xander came out to look at the dogs.  "Lazy, get in the yard before you get hurt!"  The dogs got up and moved into the yard to bask in the sun some more.  "Thank you."  He went to let Tony out, handing him the classification manual.  "You can come use the laptop for college classes if you want."

"Thanks."  He smiled.  "Are they harmful?"

"Not that I'm aware of but I have heard them called the demonic mafia now and then."  He shrugged. "Feel free to borrow the library.  Let me search for bugs first."

"I'll do that. You take care of the dragon."  Xander nodded, going back to oiling him while Tony found the listening device detector and ran it around the house.  He found three different types and put them all into the freezer together.  Then he called Ryan. "I found three different types of bugs at Xander's.  Freezer.  Thanks."  He hung up and went to check the sitting room, finding another one.  That one was his boss's.  He had put too many of them down to not recognize it.  He put it in the ferret's cage, right next to the further litter box, and sat down.  "He look okay?"

"He looked fine.  Not fully down but good.  He was rational enough to fight the 'must take him back' feeling he was putting out."  Tony relaxed at that.  "You're welcome to stay over there as long as you desire, Tony.  You know that.  It's not a problem and you could even come back over here more often."

"Thanks, Xander."  He gave him a hug, smiling at the interrupting nose.  "Sorry, am I not petting you too?" he teased, stroking the dragon.  "You're greasy."  He took the towel Xander held out to rub down the scales, making him shine.  "There you go, Hubert.  Good boy."  He looked at Xander.  "Got anything we've got to do today?"

"Ryan wanted to sort through the crap I got given last time. He said one of the trunks was like my carpet bags, never ending."

"You have never ending carpet bags?"

"Yeah, I got them when Horatio, Ryan, and I were stolen together.  I've got a few of them."  Tony moaned and shook his head.  "It's great, anything I can stuff through the opening will fit in there.  As long as it doesn't rip."

"That would be so much easier to pack with," he complained, shaking his head.  Xander nudged him and smiled. "Thanks, I might take you up on that offer.  Let's go do that so Ryan doesn't have to have another migraine from that stuff."

"Sure."  He led the way into the practice room, seeing the mess.  "Ryan tried to dump one out to hold the giant snake that was helping me take a nap."

"I can see that."  He looked around.  "Notebooks and pens?  Or are you using a cataloging system?"

"I am but it's mostly a binder and notebook in ink."  He went to get them and the phone since it was ringing.  "Hi."  He listened, then he beamed. "Ray!"  He laughed.  "He's not here at the moment.  I'll tell him you're bored shitless though.  I don't know.  Let me bring this back into the house and I'll let Tony call Horatio.  No, longish story, baby boy.  Tony, call Horatio, tell him Junior wants to come home?"

"Sure."  He used his phone to call Horatio.  "It's me.  Xander said Junior wants to come home?"  He heard the sigh.  "Bad, good?  Iffy?"  He grinned.  "He said to let him come home.  It'd be fine," Tony called back, hanging up.  "He's on a scene."

Xander walked in with the phone.  "Your uncle said to come home, Ray.  You can borrow our guest room if you don't use his.  I'm sure it'll be fine.  Really.  Need airfare?  Where are you?"  He grinned and nodded.  "Got a passport?  You'll need one."  He nodded.  "That works.  Let us know when you get in, I'll come pick you up.  Sure."  He hung up.  "He's only sixteen.  His family had to go into hiding for a bit.  Long story."

"Sure, I'm sure I'll hear it from the others later."  He took the binder marked 'books' and got to work on those.  "Why all the necromancy magic books?"

"Because Giles asked for them when he was using me to feed the demon."

"Pity.  He dead?"

"Back in another version of hell.  Couldn't tell you otherwise."

"Even more of a pity.  Ryan know?"

"Not yet," he muttered.  "I'm sure someone will tell him some year."  He grinned at him.  "He's like me."

Tony snickered.  "So however you guys fight and all that stuff, Ryan's going to be allowed to take him?"

"Or me. I can fight."  He got to work on the gems and jewelry, putting everything else into separate piles.  By the time the others got home they had managed to empty that one trunk.  It was a great accomplishment.  They got dinner and went back to it.  None of the other stuff was endless and the rest of the family came in to help. It was a fun family activity in their house.

***

Tony looked up when he heard the door slam, walking over to where it was.  "What's going on?" he called loudly.

"Someone came for them.  I'm keeping you safe," the demon said as he appeared. "Someone will open it later.  For now, you will not be taken by another."  He stroked the back of his hand down Tony's cheek.  "Have you looked over that book?"

"I have.  Thank you."  The demon smiled.  "I still have questions."

"It is a large step," he agreed, leading him back to the couch.  It was a good moment to go back to courting the young one.  He was very strong and very smart, more than worthy to be his mate. When someone opened the door he pulled a sword and went after them, finding Ryan.  "You're not going after them?"

"We're trying to find them.  Who was it?"

"Brokers."  Ryan moaned and shook his head.  "They have him, the others, his nephew.  Plus others.  Do you need our help, Protector?"

"It might come in handy.  For now, guard Tony just in case.  We're going to be gone for a few hours."

"Of course."  Ryan headed back to the real house, going to find them one way or another.  He had grown some underworld contacts thanks to Xander.

"I can help," Tony called.

"Stay!  If they're going after members, you're vulnerable, Tony."  He slammed the back door on his way through.

***

Horatio grabbed Xander to keep him from taking on another demon; Speed and Danny were guarding his nephew now that they had found him and rescued him.  "Do it our way, Xander, not that way.  Even though they are demons."

"I'm going to enjoy this," Xander whispered, staring at the guy, who seriously looked confused as to why they weren't going to hand over Ray Junior to them.  He had said repeatedly he wasn't old or experienced enough to be in with them.  He let everything spike, broadcasting wide and far this time. He added in his own twist of malicious glee, watching as they fell down and started to rip into each other for pleasure.  Claws and fangs came out, making them howl and try to get away but the next one over was just as bad.  He walked over them, cutting off a few groping and sticking up things.  "Come on."  They nodded, Speed and Danny bringing Ray Junior with them, Horatio getting the back.  Xander got the others out, taking them out to the parking lot.  He looked up and Danny covered his mouth with a hand.  "They deserve it!"

"Let the law take those that're human.  You can burn the rest," he said quietly.  Xander glared at him. "I mean it."  Someone inside screamed. "There may still be victims."

"Yay. None of us.  No one who was going to be sold."

"Some of the buyers brought their pets, they don't deserve that," Speed agreed.

"Fuck it, let 'em all die.  Those who're being held will probably thank him for releasing them," Ray Junior told them.  His uncles stared at him in shock.  "I'm taking a practical view at the moment.  If they had fully sold me instead of just trying to touch me I'd have welcomed someone killing me."

"They touched you?" Horatio demanded.

"One of them said I needed to be somewhat stretched for those who wanted to look me over."  He shuddered and Speed held him.  "Only two fingers, Uncles, I swear."  He looked at them.  "I understand why gay guys like it now, kinda, but he was being as gentle as he could."

Xander looked at him.  "Which one?"

"The third one you stabbed."

Xander nodded, he was dead so it was okay again.  Cop cars came screaming up. "Do I have to make them stop, Horatio?"

"Drive them to the point of it stopping and dissolving," Speed ordered.  "Make it end suddenly, Xander."  He came over to help, whispering in Xander's ear, getting a nod as he did that.  They heard shrieks in multiple keys and he turned to look at the horrified cops.  "They had us.  They were having each other so we could get away."

"Sure," he agreed, sounding like he was being careful of the psychotic person.  "We'll go arrest everyone and clear up any other hostages later."  They went in with Ryan following, still growling, his sword clearly on his back.  One of the officers looked at it and Ryan growled louder.  It got ignored after that.  Just another quirky CSI trait.  After all, everyone knew they were odd geeks.

Xander turned and hugged Danny.  "You're okay."

"Of course I'm okay.  I'm glad Don was at work."  He cuddled him, walking him over to where Ray Junior was, letting him be hugged too.  "Would someone like to explain why I got snatched when I ran out for a salad?"

"No," Speed said, shaking his head.  "Not a clue.  I was getting into the hummer at a scene.  Horatio?"

"I was with Eric at a scene."  He patted himself down.  "Anyone have their phones?"

"Ryan keeps a spare in his kit," Xander reminded them.  Horatio smiled and went to find it.  Xander looked at Ray Junior.  "Welcome back to Miami."

"Thanks, really.  At least they decided I was nearly old enough."  He looked at Speed.  "I need to date, really I do need to date.  Mom's being a picky person about that.  Dad said I'm not allowed to date. Ever.  He wanted me to become a priest.  Mom thought that'd be a grand idea and had people come talk to me about it."

"The man needs his head examined," Speed complained, giving him a squeeze.  "You're staying with us, kiddo."

"Thanks, Uncle Speed."  He smiled as Horatio came back.  "Is Eric all right?"

"He's fine.  Growling but fine.  Calleigh was swearing in the background and throwing a temper tantrum.  Everyone else is fine."  A van to transport prisoners came up and he pointed.  "In there.  Follow the growling to find Wolfe.  He's highest on the scene."

One of them looked at him.  "You were taken, Lieutenant?"

"I was."

"Sorry, sir."  He went inside to start gathering up those who had been arrested, grimacing at the ones who were dead from cuts, bites, and stab wounds.  "What happened?"

Ryan looked at him.  "Xander snapped because they had Caine's nephew and he's only sixteen.  He let it go, broadcast so heavily that they had to fall to it, and they killed each other."

"Okay then.  Anyone living?"

"Most of the buyers and some of the sellers.  Step over them if possible, there's another exit."

"Boys, go wait outside, we'll let you in the other way so we don't compromise the scene or have to walk over the bodies."  That got a nod and his people went to do that while Ryan got the other door unlocked with a few good blows of his sword.  It had been chained shut.  "Is the sword regulation gear?" he had to ask.

"No but sometimes it comes in handy when you're saving Xander."  He kicked the door open.  "There, wear gloves," he ordered.  "That way I can get fingerprints."  They nodded, putting on gloves and coming in to arrest those who were being ripped apart from the orgy and handcuffed by the first responders.  Ryan looked around and whistled.  "Miami-Dade PD, stop it now!" he shouted.  "I'm cutting off any dicks I see in the open!"  Most of the men in the room stopped but some of the women didn't.  "Better?" he asked the officer in charge of separating people.

"Not quite legal but it worked," he admitted.  "One less I have to see, sir."

One of the officers checking the back area came in.  "Wolfe, we've got a room with suicide victims."  Ryan nodded, following him.  "I think they decided it was better than being sold," he said quietly.

"It is.  Trust me. Being kidnaped with Xander is very enlightening.  That's how I know how to use the sword."  That got an odd look.  "One of the people who took him managed to leave one in the open.  Xander can use one.  He used it on them.  I had to use it a few times to protect him when he was injured."

"I'm sorry."

"It's all right.  We survived and Xander with a sword is a moving statue of lust."  He shrugged. "Any more it's good exercise and self defense practice."  He looked in the room and sighed.  "Check for any life signs?"

"I did but you can."

"Thanks.  Get my kit from the hummer?"  That got a nod and he walked in, going to find the immie he could feel.  He found her in the bathroom, just waking up.  "Hi."

"Are you an angel?"

"No, I'm with the crime lab.  You're safe now.  They're all gone and being arrested."

"But I died!" she wailed. "One of them stabbed me so I couldn't be taken!"

"Now you're not.  I'll explain things later.  Come on."  He helped her up and outside, handing her to a waiting officer.  "She's in shock.  She's a victim and was hiding.  Take her to wherever Horatio and the others are."  That got a nod and he went to find the others, finding one who gasped and woke up at his touch.  "You're not one of us.  Need a medic, one's alive!" he shouted.  Someone came rushing. "Stay!"  He lifted her up and carried her over, letting the officer take her.  "Right to the paramedics."  He nodded, carrying her out.  He checked the others carefully.  They were gone.  He took his kit and went to search the other rooms.  He found another few victims huddled in one and squatted down, weathering the screams.  "I'm Ryan Wolfe, I'm with the Miami-Dade crime lab," he said gently.  He showed them his badge.  "We're here to free you.  Let's let the paramedics help you."  One shook her head, guarding the others.  "Shh, you're safe now.  I promise you are."

"No."  She shook her head and said something in a language he didn't understand.  She shook her head again.

"Habla Englais?" he suggested. She shook her head.  "Someone find me a linguist?  Or even Delko!" he yelled.  Eric was drug in.  "Speak again?"  She said something.  "Sounds like your father when he's on a rant," he offered, looking back at him.

Eric came in and said something in Russian, getting a confused look.  "I think it's Polish," he admitted.  He asked that question in Russian, getting a nod.  He showed them his badge and ID, getting a head shake.  "We'll get a translator.  For now, medics," he said, pointing at the paramedic and his case.  "Doctors."  They all screamed and backed away.  "Okay."  He looked at the paramedic.  "Know anyone who speaks Polish?"

"One of the Orthodox priests in the city.  We had a guy who went to his church a few years back.  Let me call him, Detective."  He called his former boss, who called them.  The priest was driven over by an officer and he led him back to where the women were.  Ryan hadn't found any other victims so he was waiting and watching to see if anyone was injured, prioritizing who went first.  "They were taken and were about to be sold," he said quietly. "They won't let the officers or us near them.  We're trying to get them out of here."

The priest nodded and walked in, kneeling in front of them, saying something in their language.  The lead woman nodded.  He pointed at the paramedic and said something else.  She sobbed on him, letting him pat her on the back.  He got them out and walked out with them to where the other victims were.  "The people who did this horrible thing?"

The paramedic pointed at the vans.  "Them, Father.  The dead bodies were those that got acted against for taking them.  Some fought back and some gave up."

"It was a merciful act," he said, going to bless and give last rites, even if they weren't his faith it was something he could do.  Horatio looked at him.  "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Father.  Are they?"

"They did it to spare themselves a horrible torture.  No God I believe in could punish them for that and if any priest does I will help their families."  Horatio nodded.  "I'll go with the others to the hospital to help."

"Thank you.  I know someone in Immigration who'll come down to help you.  Do they all speak the same language?"

"If not, they all understood Polish as far as I know."

"I'll let him know that," Eric promised, patting him on the back.  "Thank you for your help, Father.  We'll need you to help us take statements."

"Of course. Whatever I can do to help."  He went onto the next body, then got led off to help get the victims into the ambulance.  "The others?"

"They're fine, sir.  We've already checked them and they're the ones who fought back."  That got a nod and he went with them, speaking calmly to help keep the women and children calm.

Horatio looked at Xander.  "Good job."

"Thank you.  Still more satisfying with the sword," he complained, scowling at Eric.  "Don't even say it, it was not my fault."

"I know it wasn't your fault.  They wanted as many members as they could find.  Ray Junior, are you all right?"

"I'm fine.  Thinking deeper thoughts.  One of them did touch me but not really.  Ya know?"

"No," Eric admitted. "Which one?"

"Xander stabbed him."

"Oh, okay then.  Anything else I should know?"

Horatio pointed at the two immortals.  "One's new," he said quietly.

"We'll deal with it," Eric promised, walking over there.  "Hey.  Eric Delko."

"Please don't challenge me," the older woman begged.  Eric showed his badge.  "Thank the Gods."

Eric nodded.  "I try almost every day.   My student Ryan found you?"  She nodded. "Both?"

"She's still in shock.  She woke up for the first time."

"I understand.  Once we get a statement from you I'll call one of the other good guys here in the city and have him find you a safe place to find your family and friends from.  Plus to instruct her."  She nodded.  "Richard's a good guy, he teaches Junior High."  That got a faint smile.  "Watch out for his girlfriend, she's one and a pain in the ass."

"Sure.  Thank you."

"Welcome."  He waved two officers over.  "These two were in the room where nearly everyone committed suicide.  Take them to the station to get statements.  They're victims," he said when the handcuffs appeared.  They were put away.  "She's in shock.  She'll be fine and I'm calling someone to pick them up.  Have Tripp question them."  That got a nod and he walked them to his cruiser, letting the older one get the younger one.  He went back to the family.  "Okay, what happened?  All I know is I got clubbed on the head and H got taken."

"I was out for lunch," Danny offered.

"I was coming in off a scene.  They got me as I was getting into the hummer," Speed told him.

Xander shrugged.  "I was at home.  Is Tony okay?"  Ryan looked over and nodded.  "Good."

"He's got a very protective suitor."  He got back to work collecting evidence from Ray Junior.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine.  They got me at the smuggler's airport.  Dad said I couldn't come the regulation way."

"That was more dangerous," Horatio complained.

"Can you yell at him?" Ray requested.  "He just rolls his eyes and snorts when I complain.  Speaking of, I had a bag somewhere."

"I'll have someone find it," Xander promised.  "Which airfield?"

"Out in the everglades, by the place that shows the alligators off."

Xander nodded, pulling over Ryan's phone to make a call.  "Hi, it's Xander," he said quietly.  "My kinda nephew and protege was coming in and got snatched.  No, he's safe but he had a bag, can I get it delivered to the house, Wyatt?  Yeah, Ray Junior.  Thanks, man.  What?"  He shrugged.  "I'm not really in a poker mood tonight.  No, I kinda had to help us get free of the people who took him and me.  Really?"  He smirked and looked at Horatio.  "Can you give me something I can pass on?"  He grinned.  "I know you wouldn't have mentioned it otherwise.  Well, I promise I won't come after them with a sword like the last two guys who tried this shit."  Everyone stared at him.  "What?" he complained.  "One showed up at the house and the other one challenged me."  He listened to Wyatt laugh.  "They're taking statements. This is Ryan's phone.  Thanks, man, and if that last nut sucker who owes me money doesn't pay up today he's in for a very rude problem tomorrow morning.  Remind him he's a very chatty drunk, okay?"  He grinned. "Thanks."  He hung up.  Then he looked at Horatio again.  "Would you like the people who decided you were a threat to their way of life and that's why you and Speed were taken? I was just taken because I was a good money making opportunity.  You CSI were the real targets."

"I'd love to hear more about this, do we have proof?" Speed asked.

"Wyatt has some and he'll hand it to someone with Ray Junior's bag.  Also, the last person who owes me money?  They're going to pay up or I'm going to tell you *exactly* how they're smuggling people and drugs into the country."

"Now that you've told us you know, we have to question you," Speed said patiently.

Xander just grinned.  "Not tonight, honey, I have a dreadful headache."  Danny gave him a short kiss.  "But I'll let you guys ask me tomorrow.  Since he's getting married in two days I doubt he's going to pay me."  They all smirked at that.  "Yes, I'm having an evil moment; no it's not the tumor."

"Hey, less work for us," Danny assured him.  He looked at Ryan.  "We nearly done?"

Ryan snorted.  "No!" he said with a fond smirk.  "You knew better than that before you asked.  We can go back to the station if you want to finish it up there."  Horatio nodded. "Sure. Let me finished on Ray."  He finished his pants and bagged his last sample.  "When we get back, I'll make you change and confiscate those."

"That's fine. I've been in them for two days."

"Not an issue, kiddo."  He patted him on the head.  "Okay."  He took off his gloves.  "Captain," he called, waving a hand.  "Take these other victims back to the station so we can finish processing them with Delko's help.  I'll stay here and handle this mess."

"Can't I burn it yet?" Xander whined as he was walked off by Horatio and Danny.

"No, Xander," Horatio said plainly.  "No torching them yet.  Maybe later."

"Fine, in an hour?" he asked, looking hopeful.  "It can be a funeral pyre for the dead ones."

"No, Xander," Danny said more firmly.  "We need to gather the bodies for evidence so we can arrest the others."  He gave him a look, caving at the pout. "You can burn the next ones who come to snatch you.  Okay?"  Xander nodded, letting them put him into the back of the car next to Ray Junior.

"I'd prefer he not," Horatio said quietly.

"You know he takes these moods," Danny reminded him.

"True.  Not that I'm not feeling the need to burn them."  He looked at the building.  "Xander!"

"It's not me," he called in a sing-song voice.  "Is your throat hot, Horatio?"

"Crap.  Ryan!" he called, pointing.

"Fire!" Ryan called, heading in to get the other officers out. Then he got to stare as the crime scene went up.  It wasn't very well constructed but it did give them a basement and a whole new set of bodies to look at and some living ones to take and get help.  He looked up.  "Lady Aphrodite, I love you," he whispered.  "You could have just opened the door for me, really.  Thank you though.  The fire was very pretty, just like you."  He went down to start on the bodies and help separate out the living from the dead.  The fire hadn't touched them, neither had the smoke, it was from other reasons.  The paramedics came back and started carting bodies off while he took pictures of them and their surroundings.  There was no way the crime scene was going to stay intact with this much activity.

***

Xander walked into the station.  "It was not my fault," he announced.  "They came after Speed!"  That got some knowing looks.  "He's too good of a CSI and they wanted him off their asses.  See, not even my fault we got taken."  He walked Ray Junior up to the interrogation rooms, grinning at Frank, Don, and Ray Kowalski.  "Hi."

Don hugged him.  "Are you okay?"

"Pissed.  I didn't get to burn them or stab more than a few."

"We'll let you butcher a cow for dinner," Frank told him, ushering them all into a room.  "Ray?"  He looked up and nodded. "What are you doing back here?"

"My father's an asshole and my mother's decided I should be a priest, even though I'm GHS and not that religious."

"So you ran away?"

"No, they knew.  My father said I had to take the smugglers to get back instead of coming back the normal way.  I got taken from them.  Is my bag here?"

"Nope, not yet.  Tony did bring some clothes from the house so I'm assuming you can borrow some."  That got a nod and he settled down while Eric and Calleigh came in to help process them.  "What happened?"

"Just what Xander said," Speed admitted.  "We CSI are a threat to them so they were trying to take us out."

"Charming.  They took Xander and Ray Junior why?"

"Good money making potentials since they were selling people anyway," Eric offered.  They shared a look and Ray walked off, going to hit something and swear in private.  "Did you get to see the ones who went to the hospital?"

"Mac and Stella got them," he admitted.  "Along with SVU and a guy from Immigration that Calleigh called."

"Did you tell them most of them spoke Polish?"

"I did and I told him that they had a priest who spoke it according to the patrol guy who called us."  Ryan came in.  "You're done fast."

"The majority of the rest of the bodies all died from stab wounds, infections, or neglect.  The scene got taken by Feds, Horatio.  I got *escorted* back."

"We'll handle it," Horatio said calmly.

"No, oh no," Frank said, shaking his head.  "Mac and Stella are handling it."  He went to call them.  Mac sent Lindsey to the hospital while he went to that scene.  "Okay, from the top.  Where was everyone?" he asked once he was back with them.

Xander sneezed, then looked around.  "What is that stink?  Calleigh, no latex," he said quickly.  She backed off and nodded, changing gloves.

"I forgot you're allergic," Eric said with a frown.

"Yeah, and I don't particularly want to die today from lack of breathing in the middle of a glass room."  He shuddered. "That stink...."

Speed sniffed.  "I don't smell anything."

"I do," Ray Junior noted.  "And it's a lot like almonds."  Frank and Horatio shared a look and they got them outside again and the station evacuated while it was looked over.  They found the canister of gas on the ventilation system and the person who was doing it got shot in the foot by Tony since he was there and helping.  Ray Junior smiled at him and waved.  "Hi."

"Hi.  I'm Tony."  He shook his hand.  "You must be Horatio's nephew.  You look just like him."

"Thanks, better that than my father, the man twat."  Tony laughed at that and Speed glared. "He is."

"He can be," Horatio agreed dryly. "It's still not polite to say that in public, Ray."  He looked over as Greg headed over at a run once he parked.  "Morning."

Greg hugged them all.  "You're okay!"

"Why can't I have hair like that?" Ray Junior complained.

"You can, you'll need gel," Speed assured him.  "We'll help you when we finally get home.   Sometime this year."

Tony looked at him.  "Farm?"

"Farm," Ryan agreed.  He stepped off to make the call, warning the family out there that they were going to be inhabiting the house Xander had put up in the woods.  He came back.  "All set up.  Tony?"

"I probably should," he agreed, nodding.  "I'll even play escort."  That got a smile from Eric, who nodded.  "Come on, Greg."

"Coming, Tony."  He got them hustled into the various cars and out to the farm, then out into the woods.  Greg went back to pack clothes and ran into Wyatt, taking those bags too.  "Thanks."

"Welcome."  He nodded. "What Xander wanted and needed is in the front pocket of the backpack."  He looked around then at him.  "We good?"

"No.  Someone tried to gas the station.  They're in hiding tonight."

"Interesting.  That works for us.  Have Xander call us if he needs something like dinner."  He handed over that bag as well.  "For the dragon too."  He walked off, heading back to his car and the chinese restaurant to report to his boss.  It really did not pay to piss Caine off about his family and friends.  Someone should have learned this lesson by now.

Greg put those in the car along with the dogs, the dragon, the ferrets in the cat carrier, and the other stuff they'd need, including phones. Then he headed back to the farm.  He found Ryan babying his mare and new foal.  "The other one okay?"

"Yeah.  I thought you might need a pack animal.  Xander's stallion is coming too.  He thinks the foals are his and the Fresian colt is being tolerated."  He came over to load the bags onto the horses backs and take them down to the other house.  Then he brought them back for some exercise in the paddock.  The foals had a wonderful time and trotted right with mommy.

***

Tony looked up from his watch, seeing the demon next to him.  "Not tonight."

"I came to speak with you, not distract you."  He sat beside him.  "Are they all safe?  Many would be quite upset if Xander wasn't."

"He is.  The rest are fine too.  Ray Junior's thinking hard about some things."

"He's at the correct age to wonder.  The harem has done a wonderful job training him."

"They have.  Even though I heard he's been gone for a few years now."

"Mothers have that right," he agreed.  "He knew where it was best and most protected for him."  He looked around and zapped something, making it scream.  "One of the ones who likes him sent down things to watch and eat those who would harm them."

"I still don't get the whole harem thing."

"It is what we term it when you gather a family of non-blooded individuals, lovers, and helpers around you.  Each of you has one."

"So my team was mine?"

He considered it.  "To the leader goes the harem.  Gibbs is seen to be a strong Lord for having you and Abby with him."

"Abby's one?"

"No but she is powerful and gifted."

"I'll remember that."  He looked at him again. "I'm not with Xander that way."

"No, you are under his protection.  He has said that.  Greg is part of that harem and you would look adorable together.  Better than you and Xander, or the others in the harem."  Tony smiled at that.  "You would.  He goes to talk to others about his real life again.  You could go with him and let him help you while your Lord calms down.  Or perhaps your Lord would take him on since one of your team will be leaving some year soon."

"Maybe," he said quietly, looking at him.  "That would suck for you."

The demon smiled. "I could find it in my heart to be possessive and protective over two of you.  The Harem Lord would mind but not that much.  He could never keep you two occupied enough.  He thinks he can but after two days with you he would be exhausted.  Mortal men are not meant to have you. Their staminas are too weak."  He stroked over Tony's head.  "Though you would be very pretty together and I can clearly see my way into taking care of your whole harem."  Tony shivered at that. "Even if you should include Greg.  He and you would look very pleasing together."  Tony shivered again, pulling his jacket around himself.  "I meant no distress.  Should I talk to him about it?"

"Gibbs is still detoxing."

"Some of that will never fade.  He already knew you were his and is possessive, as is proper for a Harem Lord to be over his people.  Otherwise people would steal what he has and think him weak."  He stroked him again.  "Think on it, Tony.  It would be most pleasing to  me and my people. I would not even demand rights to the others."

"I'd have to talk with Gibbs."

"I will do that.  It is proper that I talk to him before offering for all of you."  He faded out after blowing a kiss.

Tony considered it.  Him and Greg?  They would look very hot together.  Abby would definitely want film of that.  McGee might even want to watch that.  Kate would still be screaming at him.  Gibbs... well, he was odd now and then.  His phone rang.  "DiNozzo," he said quietly.  "Hey, boss.  Got my phone bugged too?"  He grinned.  "Yeah, he is one.  That's for you to ask him, boss. I'm still figuring these things out.  No, he's talked to me.  He's fed me treats and fruit.  He's given me books on his kind of being.  Otherwise I don't really know.  I've only seen him three times.  Yeah, he can get to where I'm hiding.  No, not there right now, boss.  No, someone tried to take Horatio and Speed, plus their nephew and Xander as expensive toys.  No, motivated to get the great CSI off their asses.  Yup, we're fine.  I'm sure we're fine.  Thanks, boss.  Greg, the blond guy?"  He smirked at the groan his boss let out.  "I don't know, boss.  Like I said, I've only talked with him three times.  But hey, they consider you a lord of a harem."  He hung up on the renewed groaning, looking back when Xander came out.  "Where is Greg going to apply?"

"Vegas has a day shift opening.  He was thinking about going back since the rest of the team realized what they did wrong finally.  There's one in Texas that's come open.  One in Philadelphia I heard."

"NCIS may have one open."

"I'll let him know."  He looked at Tony.  "His kind aren't harmful to humans but I personally don't trust them further than business dealings. Then again, I hunted.   You're doing good talking to him."  Tony relaxed at that.  "I've never had to hunt one of them and I called Wesley, he's a former Watcher, he said they're very intelligent and live on some sort of honor code.  I don't know what the details are but he said they're decent sorts to do business with."  Tony nodded at that. "If it was a vampire I'd move to protect you but this guy's not.  So if you need me, you ask me. If you don't then that's your decision.  You wouldn't be the first one to make it according to him."  Tony smiled and nodded.  "But I do want Greg back every now and then."

"That's up to him," Tony agreed.  Xander grinned back and pinched him on the arm.  "Ow!  I'm being a good boy."

"You're a very good boy, Tony.  If I wasn't so worn out I'd ask if you needed help."  Tony blushed at that.  "I can be nice that way."

"I remember the last time, Xander.  You got me so hard I couldn't come any more and you still made me get off one last time."

"Just because there's no liquid doesn't mean the body can't finish up."  He stroked his cheek. "He was right about one thing.  You and Greggy would look very hot together," he whispered, heading back inside.

Tony shivered. He could see him and Greg together all too well.  Some soft cotton sheets under them, some dark color to highlight their tans.  Him touching Greg.  Greg touching and tasting him.  For some reason Gibbs was watching from the corner and working himself off.  It was a very hot mental picture.  He'd have to explore that later when he went to bed.

***

Gibbs looked up as the demon appeared, putting down his sanding block and sitting down.  "I heard."

"I know.  You have the device on Tony's phone playing back into your earpiece.  Is he moaning over the image of him and Gregory?"

"He is."  He stared at him.  "What exactly do you want DiNozzo for?"

"My pet.  I would keep and cherish him but I would be more than willing to take the whole harem, including Greg, with him.  They would be yours but you would all be mine. I would not push myself on those who would not want me but I would help protect you and what is yours."

"DiNozzo's mine to have in bed."

"It is his decision."

"No, if you think he's my harem, it's my decision."

"He still has the right to leave his old harem and start a new one," he noted patiently.

"I'd kick his ass if he did."  He heard the new moan and sighed, thinking about calling him.  He heard Greg relieve him from watch a few minutes later and what he was going to do in his bedroom.  It was enough to make him come to attention and let out a groan of his own.  That was one hot picture he was panting about.

"He whispers it to you, Gibbs.  He knows you desire him but could not keep up with him.  I could help you protect him, make his life rich and rewarding."  He came over to help him, getting a glare.  "As you wish.  We will speak tomorrow.  Think on my offer.  At my home that would be more than allowed and you would have watching rights, as would I."  He disappeared.

Gibbs grabbed his beer to take a drink, finding it something else.  Something sweet and syrupy.  It made him gag but it did taste good after the first swallow.  It warmed him.  It made what Tony was moaning about go straight to his groin too.  He closed his eyes, letting the voice soothe him into coming without having to do a thing to himself.  Him and Greg?  He would make room on his team for Greg.  Greg was a good CSI from what he had seen.  Or maybe he'd join Abby in the lab for a while?  He listened as Tony used a toy on himself, getting a bit louder.  He thought about calling him to warn him but then he heard Greg come in and it got quieter when Tony finally panted and came down, sharing a kiss with him.  That had been very hot.  He felt a little dirty for listening but it had been very hot.  He'd call him in the morning, after he took a shower and slept.

***

Tony woke up to Greg petting him, looking up at him since he was sitting up and reading.  "Am I the new dog?" he asked quietly.

"No, but if you wanted to do what you were panting and groaning about last night I do require and demand that we date first," he offered with a small grin.  Tony shivered so he put down the book and snuggled down next to him, one hand on Tony's hip.  "It's all right, Tony.  If you want it to be a fantasy it can be.  I did hear what the demon told you.  I also figure he went to talk to Gibbs."  He took a kiss.  "I would require dating, Tony. We could easily do it for each other.  After all, I've learned from the best how to wear a higher level out."  He shifted his hips closer, letting him rub against him.   "Anything you need but I'd have to be in the same department as you."

"We might have an opening," he admitted, holding onto him, moaning and closing his eyes as Greg's body hit the right amount of pressure. "There, Greg."

"Anything you want but I'd rather have a boyfriend than a quick thing now and then," he said quietly.  "But if that's what you want I'm there for you."

Tony took a kiss and rolled on top, looking down at him.  "That means you'd have to put up with Abby, who likes to watch and tape.  Kate, who shrieks now and then.  McGee, who I have no idea what sort of kink he has.  And Gibbs with his possessive nature."

"I heard how you wanted him to watch," Greg said with a grin, grabbing Tony's hips so he could rub up against him.  Small circles with his hips for now.  Tony tensed up and nearly let go then.  "If you want, I'd prefer a boyfriend instead of a fuck buddy."

"Me too.  But could you handle Gibbs?"

"Now and then it'd add some spice," he offered.  "We'd have to see what was going on at the time.  I'm aware of the team's faults and reasons behind them," he promised, thrusting up hard.  Tony yelped and came, making Greg smile and move to clean him up with his tongue.  "You taste good, Tony."

"Thank you," he panted, pulling Greg up to kiss him and then give him a gentle stroke with his hand.  "If you did, we'd have to talk about that offer."

"We would.  For now, let's settle things between us, Tony. Make sure there's an opening up there.  In the lab or field."  He took a kiss and shifted up into Tony's hand, getting a wicked smirk.  "You know, I did learn how to be kinky GHS style."  Tony shivered and kissed him again, going back to his handjob.  Greg moaned into his mouth and let go. "Good.  Very nice," he promised, swallowing air.  "We'd have to go back to Vegas to get the stuff I've got in storage."

"I can agree to that but I need a bigger spot," Tony said, nuzzling his throat.  "How about we start with a small date tonight?"

"I'd like that," Greg said happily, beaming at him.  "You call Gibbs and I'll call Hodges and then we'll hit breakfast?"  Tony smiled and they grabbed their phones, facing opposite ways to call the friends still in their lives.  "Hey, Hodges.  Yup, I'm still alive. Well, I have found a great boyfriend.  He's another member so I'm not sure if I can call him a keeper or not.  No, he's a Fed.  I know.  That depends on if he wants to come to Vegas if his team won't take him back or if I go with him.  Right now those are my two options."  He smiled.  "Tell them I said hi.  No, I'll definitely have to come out to get my stuff out of storage.  Sure, we'll have dinner and you can meet Tony then.  Thanks, David."  He hung up and flipped over, seeing Tony panting into the phone.  So he rested his ear on top of it so he could hear Gibbs too.  He reached down to work Tony's cock until he got swatted, then he grinned and shifted around to suck on him, making Tony gasp and moan while clutching his phone to his ear.  It was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen.  Tony shivered and shook for him, then finally came in his mouth.  He gently licked him clean then came up to kiss him, interrupting the questions Gibbs was demanding the answers to.  "Hi, Gibbs," he said quietly.

***

In DC Gibbs had to hold onto the counter in front of him.  "Hi, Greg.  Is Tony all right?"  He shivered at the announcement that he was nearly asleep after a great blow job.  "What did you want, Greg?"  His 'either you or both of us in Vegas on day shift' made him very happy.  "I'll see what I can do.  Call me later from a real phone and don't plan on having sex during the call.  Because it's rude unless you're offering to help the person on the other end, Sanders."  He smirked.  "He's right, you two need to get straight first and then talk about that stuff.  Let me know tomorrow."  He hung up and went to handle himself in the bathroom for now.  He heard someone come in and slammed the door shut, locking it.

Abby looked up the stairs, then shrugged and went up to check on him. "Gibbs, are you all right?"

"Tony and Greg," he complained.  "Go away for a half-hour, Abby."

"Oh, come on!"

"Abby!"

"I can help!"

"Abby!  That was an order."

She broke the lock and walked in, leaning against the door. "I hate orders."  She kissed him.  "You let me a few times. Let me now."  She kissed him again, letting him take over.  It was still good.  Especially since he was panting and hissing about Tony and Greg teases.  *That* was an image she could get behind.

***

Tony looked at the gathered family, then at Greg.  "Gibbs found a way for me to go back to work and for me to stay worn out."

Xander beamed.  "I knew we were going to lose Greg to someone really special.  They've got room for him?"

"Gibbs made room for him," he admitted.  He looked at Greg, who shrugged.  "You're sure it's okay?"

"It's fine."  He stole a kiss and grinned at him.  "Abby and I will team up."

"Remember, Abby likes to tape things."

"That can be fun but not for every day," he admitted, then he shrugged when Tony blushed.  "I've got my kinks, you've got your kinks, she's got hers.  Gibbs apparently minded me helping you out while he was on the phone with you."  He beamed happily.  Then at the family. "I don't wanna leave you guys or anything."

"It's not a problem," Horatio promised with a small smile.  "I'll make sure Jethro knows what you can and haven't done yet."  Greg nodded at that, swallowing.  "Remember, you're still on my backup list, Greg."

"Thanks, Horatio."  He hugged him and Speed, then the others, ending with Danny.  "Can you handle him?"

"I hope so."  He grinned. "Be good in DC.  Are you staying for this current issue?"

"I'm hoping it's solved and we've got everyone in custody?"

"Nearly," Frank admitted.  "One of the guys managed to slip out from the ER."  He looked at Ray Junior, then at Horatio.  "Up to you, boss."

"We can go back.  There's no way they'd try us at the station."  That got nods and everyone went to pack their emergency bags.  He looked at his nephew.  "You'll be with Xander all day, Ray.  I want you safe."

"Yes, Uncle H."  He hugged him.  "It's good to be back."  He carted stuff out to the car the others going back to Xander's were taking, wiggling into the back seat between two others.

"You're too old to sit on the lap or else I'd offer," Don said dryly.

"I am, but then again I probably should have the more involved sex talk with someone soon.  Right after I figure out if I really liked what they were doing or not."

Xander looked back and nodded.  "You should figure that out.  If you did like having a guy play there then it does open up some other opportunities and require the longer sex talk."

"Sure.  I can totally see getting it from you today and then having Uncle Speed or Uncle H filling in any gaps or moral issues I might have."  Xander grinned at that.  "They've got a stricter upbringing."

"Yup," Xander agreed. "I gave that up at your age."

"Does that mean I'm finally old enough to know what you did in Sunnydale that makes Uncle H shudder?"

"Ask him, kiddo.  I can't answer that question for you."

"Sure."  He could do that later.  For right now, his uncles were back in work-mode.  He could see it on their faces.  Uncle Horatio looked pretty scary actually.  So someone was going to wish they were dead by the time he was done with them.

***

Speed and Horatio walked into Xander's that night, smiling at the happy nephew they had since he was rolling around with the dogs.  "Boys, go play with the daddy!" Speed ordered happily.  They ran into the bedroom to help daddy with his bubble bath.  Horatio gave them an odd look.

"He's taking bubbles as his newest goddess," Ray Junior said as he got up and dusted himself off.  "Let me guess, mom said I wasn't allowed to come and cowed dad into it again?"  Horatio nodded.  He rolled his eyes.  "Not like I did this on my own, guys.  I would've flown up on a decent airplane."

"True," Speed agreed.  "Which means he got to nag her back."  He came over to give him a hug.  "We missed you."

"Good.  Can we go home?  Xander's pouting."

"Sure," Horatio agreed, coming over to hug him as well.  Ray snuggled into him with a happy smile.  "What else happened?"

"Drug lords who think I'm cute.  Girls who don't.  Boys who don't.  Plus them deciding the tests were all a fluke."  He looked up.  "It's been six months since my girlfriend knocked me down and took what she wanted.  Can we do the new blood test?"

"We can," Greg agreed as he came down the stairs.  "Because Adam wants all members to be retested."  He held up needles and vials.  "So guess what, guys?"  They groaned.  "Sorry.  If Alexx were here she could do it much nicer too."  Speed walked off to call her, making Greg grin at his sometimes-boss.  "I've got enough to do his too, Horatio."

"Thank you, Greg.  What about those of us who're down at the moment?"

"That's not a problem with the new test.  It tells even if you're so worn out you're limp and sated, fully worn out.  We're testing the chemical that makes you surge."  Horatio stared at him.  "One of the other guys recently found it.  We've got levels to tell us what level you are by how much of it's it in your blood.  Then again it could also go to help his later research."  He shrugged.  "I need someone to pull mine too.  They'll be running both tests and the antidyne test too.  Plus your yearly tests are due in before convention registration."

"Good point," Speed agreed as he came back.  "Alexx said she'd get us tonight before she went home. Peter can hold dinner."  He looked at Greg.  "Let me guess, you need the lab?"

"Nope.  Got it at my lab."  He smirked at Ray Junior.  "He went with me today too."  Xander came out of the bathroom.  "Clothes," he snapped.

"Sorry."  He went back in there to put on more than a pair of silk shorts.  He came out in velour lounging jammies instead.  "Better?"

"Much.  Thank you."

Ray Junior looked at him. "I've seen naked people before.  Including when I walked in on him while he was changing a few times before I left.  I have bad timing according to Uncle Speed."  Who nodded at that, making Xander grin.  "See, I knew what gay sex was before I was ten."

Greg grinned and hugged him.  "Doesn't mean it's polite and Alexx doesn't like to see him naked."  He let him go and put the bags down on the counter, hopping up while he looked at Xander's hair.  He had been able to magic it slightly longer again.  It was down just past his shoulders now.  "Brush?"  It was handed over.  "It's a tangled mess, Xander."

"I sprayed the detangler."

"I noticed.  It's slimy."  He worked the brush through the damp hair, finally clearing at least one section of knots.  By then, Frank and Alexx were there.  "Hey, Frank.  Alexx, we're doing the renewed bloodwork."

"Good.  I can draw that."  She settled in to draw blood there in the kitchen from all the GHS in the house.  Danny and Don finally came home but she was leaving so Greg got Don's to do.  Frank just gave them amused looks.

"Frank, are you borrowing a couch?" Xander teased.

"Your bodyguard for the night, kiddo."  He smirked back.  "Because you get into trouble.  The Chief ordered it."

"I didn't even flirt with him," he said, looking confused.  "Why does he want me guarded?"

"Because one of them somehow escaped," Speed pointed out patiently.  "That makes you a victim in danger."

"But he wanted the CSI people," Danny reminded them.  "Doesn't that mean Frank should be sitting on *your* couch?"

"Don's on the case with me.  You're a CSI," Frank pointed out.  "They've got a patrol on the house.  I could've sat out in the driveway but this way I get to eat and play with the dogs."

"Sure," Xander agreed, letting Greg get back to his hair.  He winced when he yanked.  "Ow."

"Sorry.  Had to but sorry."

"My turn," Don complained, taking the brush to do Xander's hair.  He took the place on the counter too since it was apparently working well.  He looked.  "Oops, someone's got some flakes."

"My scalp sheds now and then," Xander sighed. "Usually in large flakes."  Don nodded at that so he looked back at him.  "Do you see any open spots?  I've had some peel like that."

"Nope.  Not really.  I see a crack."  He rubbed a finger over it then kissed it.  "We'll be fine."  He got back to work on the same section of hair. It was calming and soothing, he'd get a good night's sleep tonight.

"Do we have any plans for dinner?" Danny asked.  Xander pointed at the pot on the stove.  "Is it already done?"

"I taught him how to make mom's soup," Ray said proudly.

"Works for us.  Horatio, are we staying for dinner?" Speed asked.

"Sure."  He looked at Ray, who shrugged and grinned knowingly.  "You behave."

"I try so hard," he complained, then he beamed.  "Mom said too hard," when his uncle groaned and shook his head.

"Play all you want, Ray," Speed encouraged.  "We need to make Horatio loosen up again."  He walked over to sniff the soup.  "Got any good bread?"  Xander pointed at the fridge so he found racks already buttered and scented with garlic oil to be put under the burners.  Some with cheese.  He smirked at the boy while he did that, shaking his head at the extra they'd be having for snacks.  Then he got down bowls and started to ladle the soup out for everyone. They settled in the kitchen to eat and chat.

Frank played with some of Xander's hair, wiping his fingers off on his leg.  "What do you have in it, kid?"

"Detangler," he sighed, looking at him. "It's a mess, Frank."  That got a nod.  "I've been braiding it magically again."

"No more of that," Greg ordered.  Xander nodded at that and ate a bite of soup.  He looked at Danny.  "Are you sure?" he asked quietly.

"Go play with Tony and take him dinner."  Greg smiled and did that, bringing it over to him.  "We'll finish playing with your hair later," Danny promised, getting a towel to wrap it up for now.  It'd soak up the extra detangler.

"So, why a bubble bath in the middle of the day?" Don asked.

"Shaving."

Don looked at him then moaned. "The last time you did that we nearly died, Xander."

"It itched!"

Danny sighed and looked at Horatio.  "We might be a bit late in the morning from coming back to life, boss."

"As long as you're fine, boys," he agreed with a small smile.  "Xander can even bring you two lunch again."  Don shook his head quickly.

"Yes he can," Frank teased.

"Then I'll miss a few hours from the sex and coming back to life parts," Don told him.

"Eeeh, I'll pounce Ryan if you two are that bad off," Xander said, smirking at him.

"Ryan has tomorrow off," Horatio noted before eating a bite of bread.

"So does Eric," Speed agreed, looking at him.  "Weren't they going to do couply things?"

"Which for them includes a fight," Danny reminded them.

"I'd hope not.  Wolfe pouts nearly as bad as Xander does," Frank complained.  He finished his soup.  "We saving any for later?"  Xander shook his head so he got up to get more.  "Can I pour out more for others?"  Horatio held up his bowl so he gave him some too, smirking at him. "Need the energy?" he teased.

"He skipped lunch to beat someone," Speed said in a deadpan.

Frank laughed.  "I knew about the skipping lunch part.  Who'd he thump this time?"

"Ryan and Eric," Horatio complained lightly.  "That's why they have tomorrow off without pay."  He ate a bite of soup while Danny and Don both giggled.  "Their fight in the lab wasn't very professional."

"Eric started it," Speed reminded him.

"I heard."  They shared a look. "I almost offered them my office."  He went back to eating while Speed blushed.  "Have more, Speed.  You'll need it."  Speed finished his bowl and got more, making Frank laugh.

"I've been enjoying cable all day, I can keep doing it if you two need some alone-time," Ray offered.

Horatio gave him a one-armed hug. "It won't be a problem, Ray."

"Does that mean my mother's waiting for us back at your place?"

"I'd hope not," Speed said, grimacing.  "Is she still blushing whenever she mentions us in the same sentence?"

"She was but dad laughed a few times.  So she beat him and huffed off."

Speed grinned at that.  "I'll have to send her a new card soon then."

"Don't you dare," Horatio warned.

"What?" Speed asked, trying very hard to look innocent.

"Dad liked the last one," Ray assured him.

"Last one?" Horatio asked him.

"Um, it had Speed cuddled behind you on the couch?"

Horatio glared at Speed, who was still trying to look innocent.  "It's not working and it won't save you."

"It's a good picture of us."

"I don't care.  That's private.  I didn't want to see them cuddling either."

Tony's demon suitor appeared and looked at them.  "He could go with the two in their   own harem," he offered.  All the GHS in the room glared at him and Xander created a small flame, making him 'eeeep' and disappear.

"See?  And just think, in a few years I'll have my own harem," Ray joked.

Xander looked at him.  "I can help you with that."

"No!" everyone else complained, loudly.

Xander winked at Ray.  "We'll start with a good lover."

"Sure, I could use one of those."  He finished his soup and got up to get some more, adding some more to Danny and Don's bowls to finish off the pot. "You'll need it," he said with a grin before sitting down again.

"Usually do," Don agreed happily.  Danny just gave him a look but took one of the pieces of bread with cheese to nibble on while he finished his dinner too.

***

Tony came off the plane with Greg, looking at the people there to meet them.  "Boss," he said cautiously.

"DiNozzo, welcome back."

"Are you back to normal?"  He got swatted.  "Thanks, boss."  He grinned and gave him a hug then Kate one.  "Kate, this is Greg.  I don't know if you remember him."

"Running away from the guy with the hair?" she asked.

"No, Tony's mine."

"Oh."  She considered that statement then looked at Tony.  "A guy?  After all the women you dated?" she taunted.  "After you ran away from the transexual guy who kissed you?"

"I dated plenty of guys in there," he assured her.  He took Greg's hand to walk out with him.  "So, Boss, I know you and Greg talked a lot.  It all worked out?"

"It was and all your things in storage were moved to your new place," he said patiently.  "We made sure of it."  They smiled at that.  "As well as his things from Vegas.  The movers even set things up for you."  He looked at them.  "That must've cost a hell of a lot."

"Well, yeah, but it's worth it to come home to a place that's not full of boxes your first night."

"True," he agreed, walking them out to the car once they had their bags.

Kate looked at them.  "I remember you saying you were a member," she said once they were in the car.  Greg nodded.  "Can you actually work?  Tony still has problems."

"Tony's problems were that he didn't have a steady way of wearing it out.  Now he does."

"Okay," she said slowly, thinking about that.  "So on his annoying days we should've just slept with him?"

"Eww," Tony told her.  "Really."

"Sometimes he's a big, goofy kid anyway," Greg assured her.  "You learn to love Tony if   you don't fall automatically."

"For some it's a long learning experience," she said dryly.

"Not really.  You already think of him like a brother, Kate."  She blushed at that and turned around. "Same thing."  He grinned at Tony, who beamed back.  "No hazing me my first day on the job."

"Of course I won't," he promised, grinning wickedly.  "But that night....."

"We'll see how tired I am," Greg agreed.  Tony beamed at that. He looked at the area they were passing.  "I'll have to get a map when I get the car."

"You can get a rental," Gibbs ordered.  "That way your first few weeks have one of those GPS things built into it."

"That could help, yeah," Greg agreed.  "Thanks, Gibbs."  He grinned at him and Kate.  "We'll be fine, guys."

"I can only hope so.  I'm tired of doing Tony's paperwork for him," Kate said blandly.

"You know, if you make him pout it'll only be worse when we come back."

She gave him a horrified look.  "I'll try really hard.  Will he be taken again?"

"We do tend to do minor surges when we pout," Tony said, looking totally serious.  "But very minor ones."

"Like microns," Gibbs said blandly.  "I had Abby translate some of the stuff on the website that the scientific panel put out.  Quit picking on her, DiNozzo."

"Sorry, boss, but couldn't resist."

"I said it was minor," Greg pointed out.

"You did."

"Who do we have as a director, boss?" Tony asked.

"Gresh."

"Who?"

"Political appointee.  Used to be FBI.  Fornell heard and burst out laughing.  So far he doesn't do much, just waves a hand for us to go away."

"That can happen," Greg agreed.  He gave Tony's hand a squeeze.  "At least he probably won't try to sell you."

"True, he won't.  That'll be nice.  Plus my hearing about my inheritance is coming up soon too."  That got a smile from Kate.  "The way he did it was illegal.  I have the right to protest."

"You do," Gibbs agreed.  "You have lawyers, correct?"

"A few, yeah."

"Good."  He parked and looked back at them.  "We'll work out the bugs this trial week, boys."

"At least one thing'll be easier," Greg quipped with a bright grin.  "We won't be watching for Xander's tumor to come back and for him to start doing things like winning at poker against drug dealers."  Gibbs gaped at him.

Tony nodded.  "He had to make one pay up recently.  He owed him about seventy grand, boss.  He's a poker shark."

"He's worse when we let him play baccarat," Greg told him.  He looked at him.  "Any time this small tumor of his swells up, it causes him to do bad and evil things with poker chips and annoying people.  It slowed some of the drugs coming in since they couldn't pay for shipments but it was still something we had to watch out for."

"Couldn't they remove it?" Gibbs demanded.

"It came back."

"Oh.  Sorry."

"Not your fault.  It's in just the wrong area.  It affects that and makes his hormones backlog.  When it's removed it's not safe to breathe the air in a five thousand foot radius. It all comes out at once."  Kate shuddered at that.

"I heard it was some pretty orgies," Tony agreed.

"It probably was," Gibbs assured him, giving him an odd look.  "Were you there?"

"Nope.  Horatio and them were.  The first time they removed it in the morgue for safety reasons.  Got the whole station.  When complained at, they pointed out that the hospital would've been worse."

"Yeah.  Much worse," Gibbs agreed, nodding at that.  It put him being accidentally exposed into perspective.  He got possessive.  Those others, they got made to have sex.  His was better.  He could like that again.  "You can't do that, right?"

"I'd have to backlog for a really long time and let it out in one sudden spurt," Tony told him.

"Good.  Don't.  Unless it's the only way out of somewhere, don't."   He pointed.  "Your new building, boys."  They got out with them and headed inside, getting to know the doorman, who was very nice.  They got Tony into the apartment, making him quit chatting with a neighbor he found in the hallway.  Gibbs watched as Greg checked everything, smiling at the pile of rental movies McGee had dropped off for them, and McGee himself when he came out of the bathroom.  Then the bedroom got a few appreciative looks as well.  Tony pounced Greg onto the bed and tickled him, making him struggle back.  McGee and Kate went back to the living room, blushing hard, but Gibbs shook his head and leaned in the doorway.  "Boys," he complained.  "You have guests."

"Give us ten, Gibbs," Tony demanded, kissing Greg now that he had him warmed up.  Tony ended up on his back, staring up at the grinning maniac he was dating.  "Hi."

"Hi."  He took another kiss.  "Later on, you're going to beg," he assured him.  He took another one and gently shifted his hips.  "Until then, we have guests.  We can play later."  Tony pouted and Greg smirked.  "I weathered Xander's pouts.  I can weather yours."

"True, but I'm more pitiful and I'll get Abby on my side."

"That's because she'll want to watch."  He leaned down to kiss him again. "Only if you can do it in under two minutes, Tony."  Tony moaned and flipped them over, going down on Greg immediately.  Greg reciprocated once he hauled Tony's bottom half around and it was good but fast.  They both came and shared another kiss and a short cuddle.  Then they walked past Gibbs and out to the living room once they were straightened out again.  "Sorry, he needed a cuddle."

"That's fine.  Cuddles are good for you guys," McGee said with a grin.  "I wrote my friend from college.  He said hi, Tony."

"Who did you meet at MIT?"

"Ricky Henders."

"Ooh, Olivia's boy.  Yeah, I do know him."  He grinned.  "Tell him I said hi back and tell him that I've pounced Greg as mine.  Stole him from Xander."

"I did."  He grinned.  "I got you movies."

"Cool!"  He sat down with Greg next to him and turned on the first one, settling in to watch something funny since that's what was in.  Gibbs finally came out of the bathroom and took the easy chair.  "Are we doing dinner, boss?"

"We can.  Someone order."

"Chinese, pizza, what are we getting?" Kate asked.

"Max's.  Greg deserves the best," Tony ordered.

"He won't deliver this far."

Greg looked up at Tony.  "We can get some of that tomorrow."  Tony considered it.  "I'll even let you treat."  That got a smile and a nod.  "Whatever's fine with me, guys.  I'm not picky."

"Chinese?" Kate suggested.  "That way Tony gets his dose of vegetables for the week?"

"Sure," McGee agreed, getting the menu and handing it to Greg, who smiled and pointed at something.  So he nodded and got the rest of them their usual plus his pork.  It was good to be back, even if Gibbs was giving them speculative looks and Abby still had to pounce Greg and ask him to tape things. But they'd work it out, they always did.  Especially since Gibbs would sub in if Greg got too tired now and then.  Or whatever they decided about that and the demon that wanted to watch over them and watch them have sex. There were a whole lot of possibilities and hey, now he could get away with having sex in the office!

Bored!!

Xander looked up when Greg came into the study, grinning at him.  "How was surfing?"

"Good."  He sat down. "I'm bored.  You?"

"I would be but Danny's making me balance my checkbook."  He frowned and went back to his receipts.  It took ten more minutes before he threw the pen and stood up.  "Shopping?"

"Shopping's nice."  He looked at himself. "Let me change."

"Sure."  Xander went to do the same thing, coming out wearing real clothes.  He grinned at Greg's more laid back style.  "Ready?"

"Wallet and things?"

Xander nodded, going back to get them, coming back out with his wallet, watch, and phone.  "Okay, now I'm ready."  They headed out to his corvette.  Greg got radio privileges while he drove them.  "Higher end, lower end, jeans?" he asked.

"Let's stay lower end today.  I'm not really comfortable going into the higher end stores."  Xander nodded and turned onto a new street, taking them to a mall.  Greg smiled at that.  "This is cool. I haven't been in a mall in ages."  They parked and got out, heading inside.  Xander hit an ATM, maxing out his draw limit on two cards, handing Greg all the money.  "Sure, I'll be the keeper today."  Xander beamed at that and they went into the first store, the music store.  Their styles didn't agree with each other but it was still fun.  They came out and into a fight.

"No!"

"Yes!" the other teenager yelled back.

"No, it's creepy and nasty!"

Xander caught the hand trying to lift his wallet, squeezing it until the kid screamed.  He looked at him.  "Trying to lift my wallet is very stupid," he said, handing him to the security guard.  "He was trying lift my wallet. I only squeezed."

"He was," Greg agreed.  He patted himself down then the boy down, finding Xander's wallet.  "See?"  The guard just stared at him.  "I'm a former CSI."

"Is that like a fed?"

"No, that's like the crime scene cops," Xander told him.

"OH!"  He nodded, getting it now.  "Okay.  Thank you, gentlemen.  Where are the two girls who were his distraction?"

Xander pointed.  "Sword shop."  That got a nod and he sent his fellow guards in to get them while he and Greg went to look at clothes.  "We should get you a sword.  It's the family activity."

Greg smiled.  "Then I could learn those dances that way."  That got a smile and they went to do that before dumping the first round of bags in the trunk.  They heard the kids going at it again up the mall and headed that way, Greg coughing loudly.  They splintered off and ran.  "Good reflexes," he praised.

"Very."  He looked at the person who had the hand on his ass.  "Only do that if you mean it, baby."  She gasped and backed off.  "Really.  I'm not that pettable."  She ran off in a third direction.  "Good."

"Theft, the fun family business," Greg quipped, heading off to get a snack then find more stuff for Xander to do.  Because they were still bored.  They even went into the computer program store, finding an accounting software package that didn't look *too* hard to use.  By the time they were done it was only three.  They had another snack.  Greg looked across his sundae.  "Still bored?"

"Hell yes," he moaned.  Greg nodded that he was too.  "Higher end shopping?  Leather?"

"Leather's nice but I look dorky in leather."  He ate another bite.  "Hair appointment?  Spa time?"

"Tomorrow and tomorrow."

"Crap."  They both ate another bite.  "Higher end shopping for holiday gifts and stuff?"

"Already done," Xander sighed. "I'm *seriously* bored."

"Yeah, me too," he admitted.  He finished his sundae and stole one of Xander's fries.  "Well, that leaves two alternatives.  Getting into trouble or finding something to do."

"They're the same," Calleigh said as she walked up to them, giving them a look.  "Neither of you answer your phones?"

They patted themselves down and groaned.  "Lost them," Greg said, shrugging.  "We stopped the pickpockets from getting our wallets."

"It was probably petting woman," Xander complained.  He shifted and let her sit next to him.  "We're bored."

"I can tell.  Why don't you two visit the bookstore or the local college."  Xander burst out laughing.  "I know, you and books don't get along well," she sighed. "Greg might find a class he wants to take."

"Nothing I haven't taken before," he complained.  "I'm going to start being one of the society's research chemists starting next month," he said.  Xander beamed at him.  "It'll be pretty cool.  I'll have a small building downtown to terrorize with my chemistry experiments."  He ate another stolen fry.  Xander pushed the plate over.  "We really do have to find something to do on the boring days."

"Well, today you both need new phones," she offered.  They nodded at that and pointed behind them at the phone store.  They both had plans through the same place.  She sighed.  "You two could do something with the safety deposit boxes."

"The guy I like knows who to come to," Xander reminded her.  "Besides, I don't have hardly any at home.  Only in my packs for traveling money.  We could do that," he told Greg.  "Go realm traveling."

"No," Calleigh said firmly.  "Not without Ryan.  You know better, Xander."  He pouted at her.  "Tough. You still need a protector for when you're asleep and things.  Greg can't use a sword yet."  Greg nodded she was right.  "See?  Today get new phones, talk to your jewelry guy.  Go do the laundry in your packs. Get things to spoil the furry ones."

"Beauty already has a sapphire collar," he told her. "George has rubies."

She looked at him.  "Why?"

"Because they were in my way."

"How much did you pay to have them made?"

"I brought stuff into my jewelry guy and one of the ferrets.  I paid him another stone."  He shrugged.  "Not like I care."

"Point," she said weakly.  "The next group dinner is Friday."

"I know.  I've already got food.  Plus all the laundry's finally done."

"You could ask the jewelry guy if there were classes on gem evaluation," Greg offered.  "That way you wouldn't have to go to someone else."

"Maybe.  The guy in New York said it was a degree."

That got stereo nods.  "Go riding," Calleigh suggested.

"We could," Greg agreed. "Would Ryan mind?"  Xander nodded.  "He does?"

"Yup, he pouted because the last time I wore her out on the day he wanted to ride her. It's his usual day."  He sipped his soda.  "Does your new lab need anything?" he asked Greg.

"No, the society's giving me everything I'll need," he admitted.  "I'm testing substances to find other things that we're all allergic to."

Xander nodded at that, finishing his soda. "Then I'm still bored."

"Me too," Greg sighed.

"Guys, you two are pitiful.  Get new phones, take the new stuff home, teach Greg more of the dance stuff."

"I already know them," Greg told her.  "I got a sword so I can learn that part."

"Good.  It's handy."  She got up.  "Take him to refill your kit, Greg.  We might need you to sub in for vacation times."  Greg brightened at that and nodded.  "See, now go get new phones and call Danny.  He's paranoid."  She walked off, going to get a snack and head back to work.

They gathered up their trash and headed to get new phones.  It didn't take that long and the forms to replace theirs were pretty easy.  Then they headed out to find the supply shop for stuff Greg would need.  He found a spy shop first and went in there, finding some of it.  The rest was found at a Police Supply store downtown.  Xander had a ball in the spy store, making Greg grin when he explained what some things were for.  They walked out with a lot of the stock.  Then they went to the other place, finding the rest of what Greg needed.  That had more sour salesmen but that was fine.  Greg showed his old ID.  "I'm moving down here and I might need to temp in for Caine," he offered.  That got a nod and he headed back to start picking up stuff he had wanted.  Xander looked over his shoulder.  "Fingerprint powders.  Different types for different surfaces."

"Oh."  He looked at him.  "Get whatever you need.  I'm in a spoiling mood."  Greg moaned and got a new case to start filling.  He didn't need a second case but it was nice!  By the time he got done, he had cleaned their section out too.  He had stuff for any sort of scene, even an underwater one.  He rolled the case back to the register, weathering the amused looks.  "I'm in a spoiling mood," Xander defended, scowling at him. "Greggy's my buddy and part-time protector."

"You're that Harris guy," he said, staring him down.  Xander beamed and nodded.  "Why are you picking up another part-time CSI as a protector?"

"Because his department treated him bad and Greg's my friend," he said patiently.  "Did Horatio and them need anything?"

He considered it. "It would be unethical for me to make you buy them stuff," he decided. Xander pouted and put down his unlimited card, making him moan.  He rang Greg up and then the twelve gift cards the boy put down.  Greg picked up a nearby catalog.  "You're going to set up a home lab?"

"I'm doing research chemistry on the side."  He flipped through it while the card ran.  This one always seemed to take forever. Xander took the catalog and oohed over stuff.  "No, Xander."

Xander blinked at him, giving him the puppy eyed look.  "They could use it and it'll make Miami safer for me."

"It would," he agreed, mentally starting to cave. "You can ask Speed if they need anything."  Xander beamed and nodded.  "Maybe you can use some of the safety deposit box to do that."

"I can," he agreed happily.  He waved the catalog and got a nod so he tucked it into his bag that he was carrying.  He was being helpful.  Greg looked at his new case, then at the guy, who smirked and nodded that he had rung it up too.  "Yes, you needed it. Your other one was tiny.  This can be your storage closet, Greg."  Greg sighed and picked up the really heavy new storage case and brought it out to the car.  Plus the other two bags Xander had left.  He would never run out of things again.  Including lab coats.  Xander pointed at a uniform supply place and he shook his head.  "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," Greg promised. "I have plenty of lab coats and I wear normal clothes when I work."  Xander nodded and drove them to the station, separating out bags there in the parking lot.  He watched while Xander went inside, shaking his head at the amused looking officers.  "He's bored," he called quietly. "He found the spy and CSI gear shops."  That got a moan from Frank as he walked past him.  "He's got a catalog, Frank.  Warn Horatio?"

"Oh, I'm sure he's already hearing the babble by now.  How about you?"

"He helped me restock my kit and get stuff to put in the closet in case I run out."  Frank just smirked.  "He did."  He got out and found the bag with the gift cards, texting that to Xander.  He came jogging out and got them, going back inside.  He grinned.  "I suggested he use some of the safety deposit box if Horatio needed something from the catalog."

"Good job.  We still have to clean out his stashes, Sanders.  Help him with that and nark?"

"Sure," he agreed.  Eric walked Xander out and put him back behind the wheel of the car.  "Was he being bad?"

"He was tempting us to let him buy us stuff."  He looked at the new case, then at Greg.  "You'll never be able to carry that at a scene."

"It's his storage closet," Xander defended.

"It is," Greg agreed, letting him into it so he could see that stuff and the stuff from the spy shop.  Eric moaned and walked off, going to tell Horatio what he had done this time.  Xander looked at him and shrugged. "If he's jealous all he has to do is ask."

"You're a dangerous man to know," Frank said as he headed back inside. "Be good and go home, boys."

"Yes, daddy," they called in unison, then giggled when he frowned at them.  Xander drove them home, going to put stuff up.

Greg looked at him.  "Frank said you still had storage areas you needed to clean out?"

"Oops."  He considered it then nodded.  "I do.  We can do that.  It'll take a few hours so start dinner?"  Greg nodded, going to start dinner so all they had to do was reheat stuff.  Then Xander changed into tight jeans, making Greg look.  "Change."  Greg went to put on more comfortable clothes, getting a nod.  He and Xander headed out again after a quick play session with the dogs.

***

Danny parked behind the corvette later that night, looking at how low the trunk was.  "Xander?" he called, heading for the house.  "What's in your trunk?"

"A bag," he called.

"Of what?  A body?" he complained. He walked into the kitchen and got ambushed by Greg, who hid behind him.  "Did he pounce you?" he asked dryly.

"Worse, he spoiled me and then we went to clean out his other hidden areas. There were two I had to wear blindfolds while we drove there and there's a boat."

"It's only a rental boat," Xander defended.  Danny whimpered.  "I'll turn it back in once I've got everything off it," he promised, stealing a kiss.  "We made dinner."

"I can smell that."  He walked in to sniff the casserole.  "That'll be good.  Go drag the other stuff inside and let's see how you did on the checkbook."  Xander gave him a sheepish look.  "Xander."

"I got stuck and frustrated," he defended.

"We bought a new money management program to help him with that," Greg offered.  Danny gave him an odd look.  "We went to the mall."

"Oh, crap," he sighed, heading into his room to find all the bags on the bed.  "Xander, if you buy more clothes you have to clean out the closets," he complained.

"It's mostly not clothes," Xander called before walking in and kissing him again.  "Besides, it's mostly clothes for you and Don."  He beamed proudly and walked off again.  "Come eat."

Danny looked up and said a silent prayer for patience to Cupid, then he went to get dinner.  "Drag the bags into the practice room, like usual," he ordered.  Xander nodded, going out to do that with the dogs' help.  Danny ate, watching the few things float in.  "Are they too heavy to lift?"

"Yup," Greg agreed.  "There were only four bags in the trunk, Danny.  We made seven stops and most of it was in smaller things that went inside one of the larger bags."  Danny stuffed his mouth before he could say anything.  "Frank suggested we go clean those areas out."

"I want to see the boat."

"I want to see the boat.  I was blindfolded."

"Where else did you two go?"  Greg gave him a look.  "Seriously."  Greg looked toward the practice area, then pulled out a list and handed it over. "Thanks."   He tucked it into his shirt pocket.  The other two bags got floated in.  "How many spots do you two have to visit tomorrow?"

"Two or three."

"Can we take the boat out?" Greg called.

"I don't know how to drive the boat.  I'm renting it off the owner."

"I can drive a small boat," Greg offered. "I did it on Lake Meade."  Xander bounced back and hugged him then went back to fussing and hiding the four bags.  He looked at Danny.  "We should check the boat first."

"We should.  Just in case it's got drugs or something on it."  He finished up his first serving and went to get more, checking the corvette.  "You left the trunk up."

"Hubert's in there sniffing."

Danny went out to rescue the dragon, finding him pawing at something. "What's that, boy?"  He used his pocket knife to scrape it up since it looked like gum.  Then he looked at the house.  "Xander!"  He came to the door.  "Come here, dear."  He came over.  Danny held up the putty.  "What's this?"

"I don't know.  It was in one of the bags."  He took his dragon back and closed the trunk, then went back inside.  "Come eat.  Don won't be home for an hour."

Danny called his boss.  "Horatio, me.  Xander came home with stuff that looked like putty on one of his newly hidden bags.  Can I borrow your hummer for a few?"  He smirked.  "I'm not sure.  That's why I want to check."  He grinned.  "Thanks, boss."  He hung up and leaned inside, accepting his soda.  "I'm going to analyze this.  Just in case it's not good if it gets too warm or anything."

"Sure.  It's not explosives."

"It could be something new, Xander."  He headed to Horatio's getting into the back of the hummer there in his driveway.  Speed came out.  "Frank suggested they go to the hidden spots," he said in a sing-song voice.  "Also, there's a boat he's renting.  The good thing is that Greg suggested Xander use some of the safety deposit boxes if the lab needed anything."

"It's very tempting," Speed moaned.  "Very, very tempting."  He looked at the test results.  "Huh.  Is it in the bag or on the bag?"

"He said in."  They shared a look.  "Hey, boss?"  Horatio came to the door with a dish towel over one shoulder. "You wanna see this one?" he asked with a smirk.  Horatio came out to look at the report then he moaned.  "He said it was in one of the bags."

"We'll be out in an hour, Danny."  He headed back inside, slamming the door.

"This was more of the poker stuff, right?" Speed asked.

"I hope so. Otherwise I get to scream and throw a fit, right?"  Speed nodded, patting him on the back.  "Should we go see the boat tonight?"

"No, let's hit the house tonight and then we'll go see the boat Friday night."

Danny nodded, heading back home.  He found Don already there and eating.  "Xander, this is from the former poker stuff, right?"

"Yeah," he said cautiously, taking a step back.

"Freeze," Don ordered.  Xander gave him a pitiful look.  "It came from who and where?"

"Um...."

Greg leaned out of the study.  "Don't ask me, I don't have a clue."

"It's stuff someone, someone human, gave me," Xander said cautiously, backing up another step.

Danny caught him. "I ask because that stuff was an explosive."  Xander moaned at that, shaking his head.  "Horatio's going to come over in a while to make sure it's all safe.  Friday, we're going to go look at the boat you're renting.  Maybe take it out."

"I can't sail."

"That's something I wouldn't care if you took lessons in," Danny offered.  "It's a skill that could come in handy some day."  Xander beamed at that.  "Thinking about that?"

"Yup.  I've been gaining courage to take it out on the water and praying the Coast Guard wouldn't pull me over for not having a license."

Don gave him a kiss on the cheek.  "Good dinner."  Xander beamed.  "You and Greg, if he wants, can both take the lessons, Xander.  It could come in really handy some year."  Xander nodded, going to find people who gave lessons in the phone book.  He looked at Danny.  "Explosives?"

"Really old plastic explosives."

"Should I make Mac a plate too?" Xander called from the living room.  The dragon belched.  "Eww!  Outside!"  The dragon shuffled outside, going to puke and eat it again on the lawn.  Xander came in to get the kitty/ferret litter scooper to pick up the mess.  "He's sorry."

"It happens to all animals sometime," Don said prosaically.  "Can we see this stuff before they get here?"

"Are you sure?  That way they could hold you down if you got upset," Xander quipped.

"Xander, baby, already upset," Don assured him with a smile.  "Show us.  They'll be here soon I'm sure."  Xander sighed and took them into the practice room, moving the tarp covering the bags so they could dig into them.

Danny looked at it and the weapons, shaking his head.  "Nope, sorry."

"I can use a gun."

"No.  Some of those are illegal."

"Sorry," Xander said, looking sheepish.  "I need to get the stuff out of the one bag."

"Go ahead," Greg agreed as he walked in with Mac, Horatio, and Speed.

"Mac, I made dinner with Greg's help."

"That's okay, Xander.  Stella cooked. Thank you anyway."  They walked him away, sitting him in Greg's lap.  "Let us look and see what's legal."

Speed looked at him.  "Poker?"

"New admirer," Don said dryly.  "Xander, do we have his name?"

"One of the poker buddies I accidentally hormoned. I protested."

"I know you did," Horatio agreed. "I had one of those a few years back, Xander.  Relax, it's all right. We're not blaming you unless you bought them."

"I didn't but I did ask if I could have his AK rifle."  Horatio shrugged at that, getting into the bags.  He and Mac handled the explosives while the others counted weapons and stuff in the pockets of the bags.

Don held up a key.  "What's this to?"

"The boat," Xander told him. "It's a pretty boat."

"We'll see, Xander."  Xander nodded, snuggling back into Greg's arms.  "Good boy.  Greg?"

"I'm fine with being cuddled. He's a great cuddle."  He smiled at Xander, getting one back.  "Should we tell them about the teenagers at the mall?"

"We had to replace our phones. We got semi-mugged.  We stopped them from taking our wallets but didn't realize about the phones."

"It happens, boys," Mac promised.  He motioned Xander over.  "Did you *ask* for the explosives?"

"No, I mentioned how pretty they were."  He dug into a bag and held up a rifle. "I did ask for this one.  I wanted to know if he'd sell it to me."

"I hate to say it but those are useful presents," Greg offered. "Especially if we ever have to take him back, guys."

"There's a note in the bag of explosives that says he expected Xander to have to hand them over, they were old and he needed to get rid of it since it was going to be unstable within a few years," Horatio told Mac.  "I found another one in one of the bags of weapons saying that he needed to dump them and what better way than to give them to Xander since he'd have to hand them over."  Xander pouted.

"That means they were probably used in a crime," Don complained.  Xander wilted at that.  "The rest?"

Horatio and Mac shared a look.  "They are useful presents," Mac decided.  Horatio nodded at that.  "You'll have to put up a gun safe, Xander.  Just to keep them safe.  The dragon could probably fire one by accident."

"I can put them in the useful presents vault until I can find one," Xander agreed happily.  "Do you guys need to see the boat?  I'm renting it off one of the poker buddies you guys didn't arrest."

"Did Spot hit on any drug scents?" Speed asked patiently.

"I haven't brought the dogs," he admitted.  "That's why I wanted to know."

"Bring the dogs and Greg," Horatio ordered.  "If they do hit, call on one of us directly, Xander."  Xander nodded.  "Thank you."  He gave him a hug.  "Also for the presents.  It was a very useful one.  Mac, yours are in my desk."

"What sort of presents did he find?"

"We went to refill my kit," Greg told him.  "We went to the spy shop and the CSI shelf in the Officer Supply place."

"We have gift certificates," Horatio told him, getting a smile and hug from Xander.  "He was even naughty enough to tempt us by bringing in a catalog."  Mac moaned at that.

"Eric drug him off before I could be really tempted," Speed agreed.

"Greg suggested that if you did need anything I could use the stuff in the safety deposit boxes to afford it."

"That might work," Speed agreed, but his mate swatted him.  "Sorry, I'm being greedy.  I'll help you heft and tote, Xander."

"I can do it magically.  They're really heavy and I'm not sure which closet has room."  He floated them up with some concentration and down into the basement.

Danny looked at Greg.  "We have closets down there?  I thought we only had sex toys and beds, plus the pool with sex toys."  They heard a thump and Xander swear, so they all went down there.  Danny found the room Xander was putting the things back into the closet in.  "What's that stuff?"

"Stuff in storage."  He closed the closet and floated the bag to the other bedroom, stuffing them in the top of the closet in there.  He turned and found Danny and Don behind him.  "What?"

"Where did this stuff come from?"

"Across the realms," he said, looking confused.  "Mostly.  A few of them are Don's."

"Mine?" Don asked.

Xander nodded and led him back to the first bedroom, pulling out a few things and handing them over. "They came for you and you said to put them in the closet.   So I did."  He shrugged and went back to looking at the other closets down there.  He had to go upstairs to get the keys to the vault door, but he came back down to open it and check in there.  Just in case any demons had deposited or tried to take stuff out.  He heard the gasp and turned, finding Frank there.  "What?" he asked, pouting again.  He finished puttering and came out, going to get one of the bags of guns, putting it in there.  He backed out and locked it again, going to put the keys back before he lost them again. He came back down the stairs and found Horatio waiting on him.  "I'm being good," he defended at his amused look.  "I am!  I swear I am!"

"I know you are, Xander.  Now, not all of that stuff came from the other realms, did it?"  Xander nodded.  "All of that stuff came from the other realms?"

"Yeah, all four trips."

"Four?" he asked.  He smiled.  "I knew about two.  You didn't tell us about the other two?"

"Ryan didn't?"

"No, he didn't, Xander."  He moved closer and put an arm around his shoulders, walking him to where the others were peering in the closets.  "He said they all came from the other realm trips.  All four of them."

"Four?  Really?" Don asked, pulling out his phone.  "Delko, please drag Wolfe here by his short and curlies?  Because we've only heard funny stories from two realm trips and apparently there's been four?"  He heard what Ryan muttered.  "Wolfe," he said, staying pleasant.  "Here.  Now.  Right now."  He hung up and looked at his boyfriend.  "Four?"

"Four.  I didn't bring back anything from the others."

"Others?" Danny asked. "Not even a story for us?"

"Some of them were during the trip Ryan and I took so I could learn how to dance."

"Uh-huh," Don said, staring at him.  "When did we get closets down here?"

"When I begged Cupid to put them in?" he asked hesitantly.  Horatio's arm kept him from moving and Speed hugged him from behind.  "I'm being good!"

"You are," he agreed, "but we wanted more funny travel stories."

"Oh.  Well, Ryan said he'd tell you those this time."

"Yeah, but he didn't," Danny said. "Do we know what's in here?"

"We'll do a survey tomorrow," Greg offered.  "It'll keep us from getting bored again."  Xander got free and got it from the vault once he had the keys again, handing it over with a smile.  Then he went to put the keys back.

"Hold it, I want those," Don called.  Xander gave him an odd look.  "I want to see what's in there, Xander."

"No you don't."

"Yeah, I do."  He took the keys and went to get into the vault, whimpering.  "Xander?" he called weakly.  Horatio walked him in there and looked at the small case of jewels.  "What ever happened to the safety deposit box?"

"It's full."

Horatio looked at him.  "I think he's worried about home invasion, Xander."

"That's why I had the vault put in for the mildly expensive stuff."

"Where's the really expensive stuff?" Speed asked, realizing the slip he had made.

"In the other house?"

"The farm or across the realm in the other house?" Horatio pressed.

"Um, both?"  He hugged Horatio.  "I had a hidden house put out in the woods in case we need to hide someone and they can't come here."  He smiled.  "It's out in the woods and there's no direct road."

"It's a good idea, Xander.  If I need it, I'll come get the keys."  Xander smiled at that.  "Now, let's see some of the stunning stuff."

"Ryan will complain.  He whined the last time he caught me cleaning one."

"I want to see," Danny said, giving him a kiss.  "Just so I know what someone thinks you're worth because I know you're worth more."

Xander laughed.  "You're sucking up so bad."

Don poked Xander on the back. "Don't mean it's not a good reason.  Show us."  Xander nodded and got them out of the vault, locking it again.  Then he led them into the mirror house, leading them down to the basement down there, where everything else was stored.

Horatio looked around but it was Speed who asked what everyone was thinking.  "Is this separate stuff or is it mirrored from the other house?"

"No, it's the stuff that wouldn't fit over there."  He opened this vault and let them see, then went to look in one of the closets, then in a sealed room's slit.  He felt Greg come up behind him and let him see, hearing the light whimper.  "They wanted to see."

"Yeah, they did.  I'm going to get Ryan."  He went back to the other house and found Eric looking around.  "We're in the other house."  He grabbed Ryan.  "The room with the slit?" he hissed.  Ryan shrugged.  He walked him down there.  "Come on, Eric."

"Why do I have to come?"

"Because I'll need your help," Ryan admitted as he was drug off.  Horatio gave him a look.  "Yell at him!"

"I was being good," Xander defended.  "You said you were going to tell them more funny traveling stories. You didn't."

"That's because it's only funny when the whole family is sitting around and joking," Ryan said, thinking fast.  Eric and Frank both gave him a look. "It was."

"It was," Frank agreed, smirking at him.  "So what's all the stuff in the closet?"

"Stuff he found shopping in another realm."  Greg led him to the room he had found Xander looking in and he shrugged. "I have no idea. Xander, where did this thing come from?"

"Strife said it was given to me," he called.  He came out to get the keys from the vault door.  Then he unlocked that one so Ryan could see.  "It's pretty."

"It's...."  Ryan walked out and closed the door, locking it again.  "Hey, boss?" he called as he walked out.  Horatio met him in the hallway next to the pool.  He handed over the key.  "He said Strife gave him that."

"Four trips across realms?" Danny asked quietly.

"Four?"  He considered it at the horrified looks.  "Well, if we count the divergences we took while we were on that one realm, eight, ten.  Something like that.  Four of them he went shopping on."  They all stared at him.   "He was safe and I walked him around the bazaars.  Really.  He was very safe with me."

Frank looked at Xander.  "How many times have you went without Ryan?"  Xander had to count and think. It was enough to make them all, including Ryan, moan.

"Xander, didn't we agree I'd go with you?" Ryan prompted.

"I went with Star a few times."

"Star?" Danny asked.

"He's a buddy of Jesse's."

"Ahhhhhhhhh," Speed said, looking at Horatio, who shrugged.  "Have you met him?"

"No, I haven't.  Jesse seemed very nice."  He looked at Xander, hands on his hips.  "Xander?"

"Strife?  How many times have I went places without Ryan?" he called.

"Eighteen, twenty times," he called back patiently. "Only twice off realm."

"See, no problems."  Xander smiled.

"Lord Strife?" Horatio called patiently.  "How many times has Xander went off without anyone with him?"  No answer.  "Please, Lord Strife?"

"Sorry, had ta count," he admitted as he appeared.  "He's been off planet maybe twenty, thirty-two times."

"Thirty-two times," Danny said.

"Alone?" Horatio asked.

"Not always.  Star and Ryan went a few times."  He grinned at Xander.  "Did you remember the eggs?"  Xander nodded and drug him to the closet to dig them out, making him smile.  "Thanks, babe."  He kissed him on the forehead.  "Tell them.  The rush I'm getting at the moment is enough to make others worry," he whispered.

Xander gave him a look.  "I'm being good."

Strife shivered and tensed up, then hissed and let it out.  "Ohhh, babe, I love havin' you as mine," he purred, kissing him for real.

Cupid appeared. "Boys?" he asked dryly.  Xander grinned at him.  "Yes, I got a great jolt from you, Xander.  The same as he's high on the energy.  Tell them or I'll give them the film of it."  He took Strife and his eggs off.  A few minutes later someone that sounded like him shouted 'EEWWWWWWWWWW!  THAT'S SICK, STRIFE!  THAT'S FOOD!'.

Xander giggled and bounced out there.  "He asked me to pick those up."

"I'm sure he did," Danny agreed, smirking at him.

Ryan looked at him then dropped into the language they had learned when they had been taken with Horatio.  "Xander," he growled, moving closer.  "Confession is all that's going to save you from me dragging your ass in front of Ares and making him make you confess just like last time."  He moved closer when Xander just smiled.  "Xander," he said more patiently.  "You may be Strife's high priest, but even Strife has to answer to Ares and Ares is my Lord and Master.  If you don't tell me I'm going to have to try to get him here to ask you."  He grabbed him.  "Strifeling, tell us," he said, staring into his eyes.  "Or else I call and have him make you confess."

"I've taken small day trips to look and watch," he said in the same language.  "I went armed, I was good."

"How many?"

"Twenty times maybe."  Ares appeared.  "Lord Ares."

He stared at him, then at Horatio, then at Ryan.  Then back at Xander.  "Tell them.  That is an order."  He stroked Xander's hair down.  "Strifeling, I like that.  It suits you."  He smirked.  "Tell them about the temple hopping too, Strifeling."  He disappeared.

Xander glared at Ryan.  "I hate you."

"I'll remember that the next time I'm buried so far up your ass all you can do is scream," he taunted back.  "It's dangerous.  You knew that.  Even if you are armed it's still dangerous.  Anyone could've taken you and we wouldn't have been able to get you back.  Then what would've happened?"  Xander sighed and nodded.  So Ryan gave him a hug.  "Shh, I'm here.  We understand that you're bored senseless.  We're trying to find ways to help you.  Okay?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  Now tell them.  Not just me and Horatio."

"Yes, Ryan."  He cleared his throat. "I got ordered to tell you guys about the temple hopping I've been doing.  I've been visiting some of Strife's temples to give him a boost now and then when I'm bored," he admitted in English.  Danny whimpered.  "Sorry."

"How many trips have you made without someone there to watch your back?" Greg asked.

"Twenty-five."

Greg kissed him.  "I'll start going with you once I'm up to it in my self-defense lessons, Xander."  Xander beamed at that.  "Now, tell them."

Xander led them to the piles of pillows next toe the pool and told them about the temples he had visited.  His boys all cuddled around him and Danny stared at Greg before pulling him closer too.  "You're allowed," Danny told him.

Don looked at Greg, then shrugged.  "Xander needs a buddy and you're a good one.  Even more fun than Ryan because he's a bit uptight now and then," he shared with a grin. Greg relaxed at that. "If you and he wanna do stuff, that's between you and he.  We've had a list of approved playmates for him for a while now, Greg.  We're realistic."

Greg grinned at Xander, who leaned down to kiss him again.  "Sure."  Xander beamed.  "Does that mean I can crash in the big bed now and then?"

"Sure," Danny agreed.  "You can help Xander cuddle Don."  Don smirked at him.  "You do cuddle more than anyone but Xander."

"Well, yeah, but I'm comfy."

"You make a great pillow," Xander promised with a grin. "Ooh, that means I can show you how to use the pool."  Speed moaned and put his head down to shake it and hide his blush.  "Tomorrow, when Frank's not here so he doesn't get to see that stuff."

"Thanks, Kid," Frank agreed, glancing at the pool then at him.  "So, no kidnaping attacks there?"

"Ten, twelve thousand," Strife called, sounding a bit tired.  "Still a rush for me."  He appeared and curled up behind Greg.  "We'll work on your self defense," he promised, giving him a squeeze. "My boy there needs more cuddles now and then.  You'll be his day boy and they can be his night boys.  How 'bout that?" he offered.

"I might like that," Greg agreed.  "But I could get cuddles?"

"You can have all the cuddles you want," Don agreed.  "However much we can give you and however far we decide on."  Greg nodded and gave him a hug.

"You're cute," Danny teased, fluffing Greg's hair.  "So, temple hopping and realm hopping?  What did you bring home?  Because there's some shit in those closets I have no idea what it is."  Xander went to get the lists and the more interesting stuff to show them.

***

Greg looked at the sword in his hand then at Xander and Ryan.  "I really have to use a sword?"

"And a gun," Ryan agreed, waving him on.  "Come on, Greg.  Time to use those dancing lessons to better use."  Greg nodded and he lunged, and his body found the movement comfortable.  Greg beamed and did what the dance had taught him, making Ryan smirk and nod.

Xander giggled and lunged over to help Greg, since it was his style of fighting too.  That way Ryan could watch and figure out to fight against him.

Ares appeared nearby, staying invisible.  He wanted to know how to counter what Xander could do as well and Ryan was the perfect puppet to experiment with.  Especially since Ryan was more used to Xander's style from all the practicing they had done.  He sipped his mead, watching them teach Greg how to use the sword they had found for him.  It was a cheap knock-off but it would hold up to anything except a battle.  The benefits of modern metals.  He smirked when Ryan moaned at something the boys were doing.  It was hot.  Then Xander ducked and spun, winking at him before attacking Ryan again, making him growl and defend himself.  Ryan smirked evilly and got back into it while Greg got a rest.

"I'll never be that good," Greg complained, shaking his head.  But they were hot.  He was getting hard just watching them.  Ryan finally won one and got Xander onto his back, his arms pinned by Ryan's knees, his hands and sword free.  "Finally!" Greg joked, patting him on the back.

"It only took me six months," he agreed, smirking at Xander.  "Now, what did I win?"  Xander thrust up against him, making him moan and tip his head back, coming hard.  "That's a good start, Xander, but I deserve more."

Xander pulled him down to kiss.  "You do and I'll even let you braid my hair, dear."

"That's your reward if you win."

"Ryan, please, even I want to wrap myself in his hair and stroke myself off in it," Greg complained.  "Remember, you guys have that whole pool in the basement to play in and wash that out of his hair."  Ryan got up and hauled Xander to his feet, dragging Greg with them.  "I...."

"Hush, to the winner go the spoils and this time I was the winner.  You can have one end of the pool while I tease this slut."

"Hey!" Xander complained but he was smirking. "That's hedonistic slut, thank you."

Ryan smirked at him.  "Don't worry, I won't forget that side."

Ares saluted them with his glass and disappeared.  Now he knew how to counter it.  The guard they kept wasn't always firm against their bodies.  Ryan had missed a few opportunities but they would've been kill shots.  He wouldn't do that to Xander, especially not in front of Greg, so that was reasonable.  The way he had chosen had been very... entertaining anyway.  He went to get himself off by watching the boys play and them teach Greg where everything was. They were very cute together.  Especially how Greg blushed now and then.

Strife appeared next to him to watch too, smirking in appreciation of how Ryan was treating his priest.  Because Ryan was very forceful but just enough of that was heat and passion to make it interesting. He sent a thought to Cupid, bringing him and a lounging sofa.  They enlarged the portal and Strife went to curl up with Cupid, pleasuring each other while they watched.

Ares could only shake his head.  Yes, Xander was a family activity.

Road Trip!

Greg looked at Xander.  It had been a month of being with Xander every day.  They had done things that no one had told him was possible.  And some things that people had told him was impossible.  They had visited a few realms, they had snuck into Las Vegas without any of his former coworkers knowing so he could visit a few that he still liked.  He had met a few other immortals and watched Xander take someone's head.  Now, he and Ryan were gearing up to go with Xander on a *planned* excursion. Not like the ones where something came and took them.  He was getting nearly as many frequent flyer miles as Ryan had on Astral Transport Systems.  The demonic police officers all knew him by sight now thanks to his unannounced and unplanned excursions with Xander.  Hell, he had even gotten to meet a few Gods he had considered myths.  It had been a great month.  He knew Xander was still hiding stuff from Danny and Don though and that worried him.  He had been fully briefed by Horatio about the brain tumor and how it grew each time Xander had to do any major healing.  He wasn't quite up to the level of playing poker with drug dealers again but he had this maniacal look in his eyes that said it might be pretty close.

Then again, Horatio had said it came with his hormones being backed up.  Which they weren't.  There was no way Xander was in backlog.  He had helped wear them out that morning with Don and he had to say, he was still sore.  Xander was a fun ride, a very fun ride.  He'd roll around, bat at you, tease you, nip you, and make you plead for mercy before he got down to the main event.  When he did, you begged for whole other reasons and to another set of Gods all together.  He had learned a lot about being a GHS from Xander and a lot more about how to be a great lover.  He had to so he could keep up.  Because he knew Xander had worn out Cupid just the other day when he came down to play with the bouncy boy.  Greg finished his pack and shook his head.  He couldn't believe he was going to go on a planned trip to a realm where there were bigger dragons.  Hubert was pouting but Xander pointed out they might attack him since he didn't have a mommy dragon to protect him.  Hubert was still pouting at him from across the room.

"I'd take you if we thought it was safe," he complained. The dragon huffed off.  Greg shook his head and finished checking his pack.  Everything on Ryan's list was in there, including one of the empty neverending bags that was folded up near the bottom.  They had figured out they could smuggle Xander out that way.  It made for easier and quieter rescues. Then again, being in the bag with Xander was a lot of fun too....  No, if he had those thoughts he'd go pounce Xander and Ryan had him well in...mouth at the moment by the sounds Xander was making.  He grinned as he tied down the pack's ties and got changed. Then he wrote out a letter for Don and Danny, that way they would know where to look to find out what Xander and he had been up to while they were at work all day.  He wanted to be far, *far* away when Danny read about the two new suitors who ended up killing each other in a duel over him, leaving him their estates and harems, though Xander had let them all go free and helped find the ones who wanted new keepers - better ones.

He considered it and wrote out a letter to Horatio as well, sending it to him at the station.  He would drop it in the outgoing mail on the way out with Ryan and Xander.  He finished up and sealed it, then grabbed his bag and went downstairs.  One went into the mail pile, one went onto the fridge.  Ryan gave him an odd look.  "Reminding him where we're going, who's with us, what we brought, and not to worry."  Xander cooed and kissed him, making him see stars.  He came back and saw Xander going over the mail.  "Ah!"  Xander put it back down, pouting at him.  "That's stuff Horatio might need if the idiot DA acts too fast."

"Oh."  He put the letters back and picked up his bag and his katana, taking Greg by the hand and walking him out, Ryan following shaking his head.  That way Xander didn't see him drop his own two letters into the basket or how he put a note on the fridge saying to check for letters.  Don and Danny would be home late tonight so they might not look if not told.  Xander beamed at them both.  "Are we ready?"

"We're ready, Xander," Ryan agreed, taking his other hand to hold loosely while Xander opened the portal.  Then they grabbed the three horses and rode through.  Because Xander was not going to hike for however long they were going to be there and they had agreed bringing home three new horses might be a bad thing.  Danny might do a bit of complaining at that.  They looked around the new landscape, noticing all the char marks.  "Hey, Xander, this realm has how many dragons?" Ryan asked dryly.

"It depends on what part you're in," he admitted, grinning at him.  "Strife said it was a great place to go exploring."

"I'm sure it is but apparently we're in dragon country. Let's ride a bit faster," Greg suggested, kneeing his borrowed mare into a faster walk.  Ryan caught up and nodded at that, and Xander let his follow, singing happily as they rode on.  Greg and Ryan shared a look.  "We should bring home scales for Horatio and Speed."

"We can do that," Ryan agreed, pointing at some nearby.  "There's some shed stuff."

"That's a space marking," Xander told them.  "That's so they know and the others know who lives here."  He fingered it. "It's older, dried out."  He shrugged and they rode on, going down to the nearest village to start from there.

Ryan trimmed a small piece of the scales off and put it into his saddlebag, heading off behind the impetuous one.  Before he got kidnaped again.

Greg followed, watching the big brother act Ryan had perfected over many rescues and trips with Xander.  Some day he'd have the same attitude.

***

Don came home and looked at the letter bin, then at the note on the fridge.  He pulled it down and went searching for the letters.  He found one to him and Danny in Greg's handwriting.  One to them in Ryan's, one specifically to Don in Ryan's handwriting.  One to Horatio from each of them and one to Horatio from Xander.  Interesting.  "Tell Speed H has letters here," Don called.  Danny came out of the bedroom only in his boxers, taking his.  "Ryan left a note saying look for the notes."

Danny called Horatio's cell.  "Just us.  Xander, Ryan, and Greg all left you letters before they left.  No, we've got ours and it looks like confessions."  He hung up and took his back to the bedroom to read over while his shower warmed up.  He put it aside while he hosed off the day then he got out and went back to reading.  "Huh, Don, you should read yours.  It's about your new friend."

"What new friend?" he called.  He opened his letter and sat down with a moan of complaint.  "Not another one."  Speed and Horatio came in so Don handed them Horatio's letters.  "I've got a new friend."  Speed took it to look over while Don got a beer.

Horatio read over his mate's shoulder, then laughed.  "Wonderful," he said sarcastically.  "At least we can protect you, Don."  He sat down to open his, nodding at Danny when he came out.  "Anything good in yours?"

"Yeah, Greg's is a confession of the stupidity the boys do when we're working."  Don snatched it to look over while he opened Ryan's.  "Ah, what happened the last time he had to go save Xander.  The bags can hold a Xander and it helps a lot when you're sneaking him out of somewhere," he said happily.  "Have to remember that."

"I don't want to know how they know that," Don said firmly.  The letter got held out and he shook his head, heading to the study to deal with the checkbook issues Xander never did.  Including needing more checks so they could pay bills.  There was a note on the desk asking how he was supposed to pay bills without any checks.  It was dated last month.  "Danny, we're out of checks," he called.

"Do the balancing first," Danny called. "Then pay online.  His cards should be in there.  Not like they take Visa wherever they went."  Speed laughed at that mental image.  "Hey, he took some of the jewels with him as cash," he said happily. "That gets them out of the house and he usually brings back nice presents."  He got into the fridge. "Beer, boys?"

"Please," Horatio moaned.  He took his and headed to get the vault's keys.  Both of them.  Greg's had been a list of what new things he'd find.  Ryan's had some of that as well as what and who had given them to him, the ones Greg didn't list.  Xander's had been to ignore the both of them's complaints because he said they were whining.  Also to ask him about the advisability of buying a boat. Well, the letter had said ship specifically.  So probably a yacht with sleeping spaces.  Or he hoped anyway.  He found the cataloging books in the first vault, all together and nicely done in Greg's handwriting.  Plus a pile of things with his name on top.  He looked and whimpered.  They were beautiful.  Obviously meant to be presents by the note.  He carried them upstairs with the books, putting them on the breakfast bar so they could sit and look at them.  Together.

Don came out with the account statements.  "Has Xander been playing poker again?  Somehow, outside of interest, he's made a good three mil in the last two months."

"No," Danny said quietly.  "But with new *friends*...."

"No.  This isn't that.  This is entirely different.  Wrong account for that stuff."  He looked at the books, then at Horatio.  "Didn't those used to be one inch binders?"

"They were," Speed agreed, staring at the five inch, full binders.  "But apparently Greg's done cataloging."  He took one of the ones for a closet and sat down to flip through it, including some pictures when he didn't know what something was.  "Some of it's very pretty kitsch."

Danny held up one.  "Why does he have a statue with a penis like that?"

Don looked over his shoulder.  "Um, said it was given to him as an offering for being next to the Gods in making them fertile by playing with himself," he read, then shuddered and went to get a second beer.  He took it back to the study to pay the bills, coming back a few minutes later.  "Steve's been paying the bills."

"Thank the Gods," Speed muttered.  He shook his head.  "Can you get him to balance the checkbook?"

"He already did. I got an email from him when he saw me logged into the account."  He sat down to look at his own book of stuff in a closet.  "I didn't know Xander was musical."  He held up the picture of an instrument that looked like a lyre.  "Anyone got a clue?"

"Nope," Danny said.  "Before my time, man.  We could ask Oz or Jace. Or even Ares."

"He's busy helping Ryan protect them," Horatio said firmly.

They all sent up prayers apologizing for letting Xander give Ares a headache from Ryan this time.

Horatio looked at his letter from Xander. "He said it shouldn't matter, Don, but your birthday present was in the safe in the office?"

"We have a safe in the office?"  He went to look and sure enough there was one.  "He's got to go back to the bank," he complained.  "We've got loose cash and jewels again, guys."  He came out with a handful of stones that had landed in one of the desk drawers.  "Can't we hire him a secretary?"

"Cordy said she was bored," Danny offered.

Speed looked at him.  "Don't torture us that way!" he complained.  "Xander will pout at us because she picks on his hair," he explained when his snuggly one gave him an amused look.  "Plus she's more snarky than I am.  I'm the only sarcastic bastard allowed in the department."

"Maybe we could hook her up with an officer, or another GHS member," Danny offered.

"That's one way to make her happy and purring," Don joked.  "Isn't being a secretary part of Greg's job?"  They all nodded and watched as a portal opened on the back lawn.  "Already?" he called. "It's only been hours!"  They rode out, dropped stuff, then the portal changed colors and they headed off again.  "Never mind, I withdraw my objection," he sighed when they all stared at him.  "Not my fault!"

"No elephants, we have to remember that," Speed said.  "They didn't bring back elephants this time, it's all good."

Horatio looked at him.  "We didn't last time, Tumie did."

"They still came home with Xander," he said firmly. "Speaking of, you need another trim, Horatio."

"It's not that long."

Speed looked at him then casually grabbed a handful and yanked. "Yes it is.  You said I couldn't have a handhold ever again when you came home with princess hair."  He let his husband's hair go and looked at the others, weathering the swat to his head. "Sorry, dear."

"Later, definitely later," Horatio assured him.  He looked at the book from the vaults, sighing at some of them.  "Does he carry insurance?"

"Would you want to steal from him?" Danny asked.

"No," he admitted.  Xander and Ryan would probably stab someone.  Or Xander would make another willing slave, like the last guy who had broken in here, who still insisted Xander was a Goddess and his new faith.  He had used the walls of his cell to write out hymns to him.  It had greatly amused the guards and the judge had said it proved he needed to be evaluated for mental damage.  It was a very harsh punishment for the guy who tried to mug Xander when he was at the grocery store and then followed him home.

"That guy out of his mental eval?" Danny asked.

"He's staying in the hospital," Horatio said calmly.  He looked at Don.  "Do we think Xander needs a second secretary?"

"No but I think it'd be good for Cordy to come out and arrange this stuff. She's the fussy sort.  It's either that or we've got to let Marisol do it."

"There's a mental image to make Eric drink.  Cordy and Marisol getting together," Speed said, then he shook his head quickly.

Horatio looked at him, petting the back of his head. "Are you feeling all right?  Withdrawal perhaps?  Fever?  Stomach aches?"  Speed laughed and shook his head.  Horatio wasn't taking any chances, he didn't need Speed to be sick.  He called Alexx.  "It's Horatio.  Speed's having odd thoughts and he claims he's feeling all right.  Remember Miss Chase?  Her and Eric's sister Marisol getting together.  No, he's out of town. I'm hoping it's not withdrawal or something he got exposed to at work.  No, we're at Xander's.  He left us letters and Greg left confessions."  He smiled.  "We'll wait, Alexx."  He hung up and looked at Speed again.  "It's all right, she'll make sure you're okay," he promised, patting his husband's hand.

"I'm fine, Horatio!  They're very alike.  Very fashionable, very smart.  I can see Marisol hunting beside Cordelia."  Danny got up and got him an ice pack, wrapping it in a dish towel before handing it over.  "I'm fine!" he complained.

"Uh-huh.  Let me know if this is contagious," Don told Horatio, going back to his books.  "And another instrument, this one in the shape of multiple penises holding the strings."  He showed it off.  "It's a very Xander instrument."

Danny looked at it.  "That's more the size of Ryan.  Xander's a bit thicker."

"See, I knew it was contagious," Don said, handing Horatio the book and going to take two aspirin, just in case it was going to spread to him.

"Bring me a few too please, Don," Horatio called.  Don brought out the bottle for him.  It was a very interesting instrument.

"Maybe we should let Eric go with them sometime," Speed offered.  "It'd give him a bit of a thrill and a chance to cut loose and screw all the pretty virgins."

"I'll make a nest on the couch," Danny said, going to do that.

"I'm not sick!"

"We'll let Alexx see, baby," Horatio soothed, walking Speed out there. "Why is there a fifth ferret that looks like ours?"

"She escaped yesterday," Don called.  "Xander had to come rescue her from the station, remember?"

"I do.  Thankfully she's fixed."  He made sure his spouse was comfortable and tucked in so he couldn't hurt himself or others.  At least until Alexx got there and told them what was wrong with him.  Because if it wasn't an illness it meant he'd have to knock all those bad and horrible thoughts out of Speed's head with sex tonight and he was tired.

***

Greg looked at the man on the pole beside him. "How did you get us taken as *virgin* sacrifices!" he complained.  "I haven't been one of those since I was fifteen, Xander!"

"They said we were!"  He struggled to get the ropes free.  "It's not my fault.  Ryan was hitting on the barmaid and we weren't."

"She was nasty and she had lip sores!"

"Which was why Ryan was asking her if she had cooked any of the food."  He got a wrist free but the priests grabbed him before he could finish getting free.  "Ryan!"

"Broadcast!" he called from where he was.  "Now!  Make them yours!  Before this priest decides to prepare my ass to take his God's cock."

Xander let everything off his control, making the whole town moan in pleasure.  "Kneel!" he yelled.  "Bow to me or no one's having sex ever again!"  He pushed it up, making himself surge by imagining how he was going to make Greg do kinky things to him later. All but one young woman fell to an orgy.  She walked through and around them, staring at him.  "I'm not a virgin," he told her.  "Haven't been in nearly five years.  Please let us go free?"

She stared at him then snorted. "You clearly aren't of our kind," she said quietly.  "Lady Athena would never put up with this skill."

"I'm devoted to Cupid and Strife," he panted.  "With some of Ares' thrown in. Ryan's one of his chosen warriors and Greg is my companion.  Please let us go and I'll let them all go?  Please?"

"Very well."  She let them go and let them grab their things and Ryan.  Their horses and bags were stolen from the temple they had been given to and they headed out.  She saw the one called Ryan sneak back to get their swords and then he left again.  She looked at the priests then up.  "We are sorry to have taken them, Lady Athena.  Please bless those who wanted it with fertility but do not burden those who don't with children?"  She smiled as the people started to come back down.  Apparently the Great Lady had some mercy on the townswomen.  She knelt when her Goddess appeared, bowing her head when she came up to where she was.  "They're very sorry, Great Goddess Athena.  They knew not who they proclaimed virgin sacrifices."

"Obviously."  She cut it out for the priests, staring down at them since they were mid-sex.  "Took one of Cupid's Burdens?" she taunted.

"That one claimed the one with the marking was one of Ares' chosen warriors," the young woman told her, looking up at her.  "The other he called his companion."

"No, the blond with him was another, lower level, of Cupid's Burden," she said dryly.  "The warrior was their protector.  You were not affected?"

"Lust is not an emotion I enjoy, My Lady.  I have prayed often that it not hit me."

"Hmm.  Good. That is worthy of one of mine.  Report to the temple later for instruction."  She looked at her butt-screwing priests.  "That is not an activity I have sanctioned," she noted impatiently. "Stop it or bear me heirs."  They pulled apart with whimpers of loss and knelt at her feet.  She shook her head and disappeared.  "Leave Cupid's Burdens alone.  None of them are pure!"

She got to her feet and headed down to the temple, going to report for duty and training.  She had found someone else who appreciated her.

***

Speed looked up at Alexx, shrugging.  "I don't know what's wrong with him.  I'm not sick."

"Sugar, I love you, but you've got brain rot," she shared, patting him on the head. "You need a good dinner and then screwed into the bed."  She walked off to tell Horatio that.  "He's perfectly fine," she assured him, getting a moan.  "He could use a good dinner and then screwed into the bed like you could create a baby."  She stroked Horatio's arm.  "Have fun with that and I expect him to come in walking funny in the morning."  She took one of the cookies Danny held out, smiling at him.  "Thank you, Danny."

"Welcome.  Don was worried he was contagious."  He let her see Greg's letter, watching her face.

"He wants to know about buying a ship," Horatio offered.

"Let's hope it's a nice one," she said, patting his arm again, leaving the house to go home.  Since it wasn't a tragedy.

Horatio took the basket Don held out.  "Dinner?"

"Dinner, lube, wine," Danny said.  "Take his bike and go for a ride," he ordered, making shooing motions.  "We'll watch the hummer tonight."  Horatio smirked and went to grab Speed.  The basket got hitched to the back of the bike and Horatio took off driving.  Because Speed clearly wasn't mentally capable of it.  He parked them on the beach and drug him down to have a picnic with him.  It would help him and it was a nice night for it. He looked in the basket.  Chocolate, casserole, champagne.  Good champagne.  More chocolate sauce from the really good chocolate.  A full, new bottle of lube.  A six pack of condoms.  A towel. A gag.  And a fairly large sex toy on top of the silverware but it was wrapped in shrinkwrap.  He pulled the blanket out of the top and set it out, then got the dinner part out.  The rest would come later.  Because he couldn't let Speed work like this.  He would give everyone else migraines and Eric would whine at him if he let Speed work like this.

***

Ryan looked at Xander a week and a half local time later.  "How did we get captured this time?" he asked patiently.

"I was letting the girl pet my horse?"

"So, what have we learned?" Greg asked.

"Letting girls pet my horse is bad?"

"Flirting is bad," Ryan corrected firmly.  "Flirting leads to us being in a cell while they decide if we debauched said daughter."

"I only let her pet my horse!" he complained. "My stallion is very pretty, he deserves to be petted."

"He does," Greg agreed. "All the horses needed some love."

Ryan looked at him.  "Not the point, Greg. Really.  Because we could all be married by the morning time."

"With the way our time runs, it'd only be a few hours for us," Greg offered.

"True," he sighed, nodding.  "I still don't want to be married this week, Greg."

"Me either.  I've heard marriage sucks.  That you can't even have good gay sex."  Xander snuggled into Ryan's chest, stroking his cock for him.  "I'm sorry I let her pet my horse."

"I know.  These freakish things happen to you, Xander," Ryan soothed, stroking over his back.  "We're being watched."

"I don't care!"  Ryan stopped him from doing anything else. "Ryan!"

"Xander, they could try to behead us for being gay, dear."

"Fuck," he muttered, pouting at the guard who came to check on them. "If I sleep with my protector are you guys going to torture or behead us?" he called.  The guard shook his head.  "So it's okay if I sleep with Ryan and Greg while we wait?"

"Many men sleep with other men before they're married.  It teaches them how to sleep with women. Bonds them on the battlefield."

"It does," Ryan agreed, letting go of Xander's hair.  Xander shrugged and went down on him.  Ryan smiled and patted Xander's head.  "Sorry, he's one of Cupid's."

The guard blushed and walked off, going to tell his Lord that. The priestess of Aphrodite's up there got a sudden headache and she went to check them, finding the marks on them.  Including the new ones Cupid had put on Greg so he could find him if something happened while he wasn't out with Xander.  They released them that night and Xander blessed the marriages fertile.  They even got to leave with everything they had.  The next morning found Greg riding back with the daughter who had snuck out, handing her over.  "She snuck out and followed us.  We didn't think that was a good idea."  He turned and rode off again.  He was clearly sitting oddly, like he had been taken repeatedly last night by Xander and Ryan.  Which he had since this one had been his surge and oops.

***

Steve Ellison walked into the Miami-Dade Crime Lab building, nodding politely at the receptionist.  "I need to speak to either Detective Messer or Flack please?"

"Did Xander do something horrible?"

He smiled.  "You know Xander?"

"He brings in huge lunches every few days," she agreed happily.  "Is he in trouble?  We know he hasn't been in for a few days and neither has Ryan Wolfe.  Usually that means they got taken together or he's off rescuing him.  But if you need him, Lieutenant Caine is in his office, sir.  He handles the really bad Xander trouble."

"No, not that sort of trouble. I'm his financial manager, Steve."  She nodded and called those two to come get him.  He nodded politely at Eric when he stomped in.  "Good morning."

Eric stared at him.  "Do I know you?"

"Steve Ellison," he said, holding out a hand.

"Ah, that Steve.  Xander's talked about you."  He shook his hand.  "Danny or Don?  Or is Xander back and in trouble?"

"No, he hasn't made a withdrawal in four days."

"They're traveling," Eric said dryly.  Danny came off the elevator.

"Steve," Danny said, shaking his hand. "Is he in trouble, something bounce maybe?"

"No, not in the least but I did want to talk to you two about some odd deposits recently.  Can we?"

"Sure.  Eric, the boss is in the office on the phone getting nagged."

"He'll love this.  My scene was a frat prank.  Body done in peach jell-o with coconut hair and cherry jell-o nipples and lips."  He headed up there to tell him and show him the pictures.  Because there was no way Horatio Caine would believe this one without it.

Danny led Steve up to one of the offices they used to talk in, sitting down across from him.  "Before you ask, he's off realm with Ryan and Greg."

"Greg?"

"Sanders."  He pulled out a picture to show him. "That's Greg.  He's another GHS and formerly part of Las Vegas' lab."

"Interesting.  I got authorization for him to use Xander's cards and deposit money into his accounts."  He pulled his laptop out of his briefcase and opened it, logging in again.  He turned it to show Danny.  "I don't know who this person is."

Danny looked, then he got into his phone and made a call.  "Wyatt, my man.  Get down here.  Now.  Bring whatever you have on whoever's been adding to Xander's bank accounts.  Yes, you, Wyatt.  Because I know you know and his financial manager is going to call the IRS and the SEC next.  Thank you.  Yeah, come see me.  Bring me lunch too if you can.  Some of that beef with peppers?  Don loved that stuff.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "That's the guy who handles his poker debts for him."

"I thought he quit playing."

"He did."  They shared a look. "Greg's letter of confession said he had a few new admirers."

"Danny, this is more like he broke the bank in Vegas again."

"Maybe he went to punish someone and did that."  He shrugged.  Then he called reception.  "Send the Chinese delivery guy upstairs for me please.  I'm in interrogation three.  Thanks."  He hung up shaking his head.  "Before you ask, Wyatt works for a place down in Little Singapore that keeps track of the high stakes and bad guy poker rings.  They do the debt books."  Steve moaned. "He's my cousin.  That's why he got assigned to Xander."  Wyatt came in.  "How much do I owe you?"

"A hell of a lot since I've got an Econ test in two hours.  What's up?"  Steve showed him the entries and he pulled out a notepad to compare them.  Then he smirked at Danny.  "He didn't tell you about the gaudy cruise ship and stuff?"  Danny slowly shook his head.  "That corresponds to what I have for that.  Also, the guy who paid him in drugs, they're going to be paying him in cash."  He looked again.  "The only one I don't have is this one for ten grand, guys.  I have no idea who did that one.  Is that interest?"  He looked at Steve.  "You're the guy who handles this stuff?"  Steve nodded slowly. "Give me your card please?  Xander's pitiful at this.  I had to help him deposit the cruise ship stuff. They have to drag him to the bank to deposit any poker winnings."

"I thought he quit playing," Danny complained, checking the tag on the order and pulling out his wallet to pay and tip him.

"He did, with the thugs.  Then again he played against the General the other day and made him curse and go beat his mistress.  She reported him too.  It was his own fault, the General challenged him personally to a rematch."  He smirked and pocketed the money.  "Anything else?"

"Any idea on the ten grand?" Danny asked.

"That one I think may've been the sale of something," Steve admitted. "It came from within the bank itself."  He looked at Wyatt.  "I really don't want to be involved or tied to anything illegal, Wyatt."

"We're neutral.  We keep the debt books so no one can fight over it and destroy the restaurant again.  We host one of the weekly games."  Steve pulled out his card and handed it over. "Thanks, man.  I appreciate this.  The dude seriously needs to know how to use his checkbook.  I had to fill out his deposit slip the last time."  He shrugged and grinned. "Anything else?"

"How much do people owe him?" Danny asked.

"Oh, about twice the worth of your house.  He set a limit.  He wants paid if you owe him more than fifty G's."  Danny moaned at that.  "The General's presently in to him for about 4 and a half major bills."

"Crap and he's a drug dealer," Danny complained, rubbing his forehead. "Why?"

"The dude challenged your boy.  Said he wasn't that great.  It had been a fluke run of luck.  Got him onto the gaudy cruise ship too.  Man, that boy and baccarat, bad combo.  Anything else, cuz?"

"Thanks, man. Enough for me and Don?"

"Sure.  Where is the boy?  The General wanted a chance to lose more to him."

"Traveling with Ryan and Greg.  You can tell him he can't.  He's got to pay his debts first and if he tries shit, I'm letting Ryan kill him this time."

"Sure, I'll let him know."  He smirked at Horatio when he came in.  "Bossman."

"Wyatt.  Problems?"

"Some odd deposits," Steve offered.  "The local bank contacted me and neither of us knew where they came from."

"I made him use the small branch up the street from the restaurant.  No way am I going to let him drive three million bucks in cash across town.  There's way too many people who'd know and throw fits.  Like those who had to pay him.  Since they can't use it for other things and he had *really* bad timing about when he wants paid, they're not all happy to lose to him."  He shrugged and smirked.  "Like I said, everything but the ten grand corresponds."

"That's fine.  Thanks you, Wyatt," Horatio agreed.  "Did you bring a menu?"

"One in the bag, bossman.  Oh, his new stalker buddy?  Toasted and got hit by a car last night.  No worries about him or Flack's.  Or even Greg's."  He smiled and walked out, heading to pay the tab on the order and then go back to studying.

Steve called the bank to work out that one payment with them, finding out what it was.  He relaxed and explained the others so it was all good again.  He hung up and looked at Danny.  "That's going to kill him."

"I tried," he pointed out. "Horatio's tried.  Speed's tried.  Hey, boss," he called, waving him back inside since he had went to give Don his lunch.  "Any idea what gaudy cruise ship he was talking about?"

"No," he sighed. "Ray, Frank?  Did either of you hear about Xander on a cruise ship?"

"They're smuggling drugs," Frank offered from his seat.  He had ordered a sandwich in and was enjoying it.  He finished swallowing that bite and found Don, Danny, and Horatio all staring down at him.  "They invited him specially for a high stakes game with straight people.  He cited that you would get mad at him if he played with more thugs."  He ate another bite, mentally smirking at the frustrated looks on their faces.  "He pulled a Mississippi on them," he said before stuffing his mouth again.

"Is that the ship he was thinking about buying?" Ray asked from his desk.

Horatio moaned and hung his head.

"Nope.  The boy got offered a very nice ship in return for forgiving their debt to him.  It's smaller than a cruise ship and bigger than most yachts."  He finished his sandwich, even if he probably looked like a chipmunk and he was having problems chewing.

Horatio looked at Ray. "You heard about the ship?"

"Only that he was thinking about buying one.  He asked mine and Adam's advice.  Frank, wasn't that the Vice bust a few weeks back?"  Frank nodded while he chewed.  Danny, Don, and Horatio all went to call over there to get details.  "If Xander was smart, he'd hide for a few more weeks," Ray quipped.

Frank swallowed finally and shook his head.  "He'll get 'em in a good mood within hours."  He looked at Steve.  "So, which friend are you?  New stalker?"

"Steve, his financial advisor," he said, shaking his hand. "He had some odd deposits I wanted to check on."

"Hmm," Frank said, smirking at him.  "So, how much is he winning at poker?"

"He made the cost of the house in the last two months, Detective."

Frank moaned.  "I'm expecting a *wonderful* holiday present from the boy then."

Ray grinned.  "Last year he let Adam pick out any ten things of his that he wanted to use on me."

Frank shook his head.  "I'm not the sex toy sort.  My wife doesn't like 'em."  The officer coming over with a folder turned and walked the other way.  "Talking about Harris and gifts."

"That's all right, Detective.  I'm going to do a brain wash now."

Steve looked at him. "I got a gift certificate to a high end electronics store last year.  He's very good at finding decent gifts."

"He is," Frank agreed. "But the boy's trouble incarnate."

"No, that's one of the people the marks on his hips are to," Ray reminded him.  "Xander's just his high priest."

"Explains a lot," Steve sighed, walking off shaking his head.  "Nice having met you two, Detectives."  He went to the local bank to talk to them.  They had to do something about Xander's accounts.  This was getting ridiculous.

"Someone needs to make the kid quit playing poker before Miami's bankrupt," Ray complained. "Or teach me so I can help him wipe 'em out."

"Could be worse.  He could still be playing with thugs," Frank offered.

"No.  They shot at him enough last time," Ray complained, sounding tired.  "We've got to stop that boy."

"Good luck, we've all tried," Eric called.  "What did Xander do this time?"

"More poker games with rich guys who weren't dealing drugs," Frank called back.

"I heard about the Vice arrest at the brothel," Eric admitted as he came over with a folder for Ray.

"The one we heard about was on a cruise ship that was running drugs," Frank told him. "Horatio and them just found out and stomped off to call Vice."

"I've got a suspect to find.  Come on, Ray."  Ray grinned and brought the rest of his lunch with him.

"Not a bad idea," Frank agreed, grabbing his jacket and heading out too.  He had people he could go question. It would keep him from hearing Horatio rant about the boy. Hopefully.  At least until Horatio called him to rant about the boy an hour later.

***

"I'm not your body slave," Ryan complained.

"I know you're not.  That's my job," Xander assured him with a smile, snuggling up to his chest.  "I'm a very good body slave," he teased, stroking Ryan's bare stomach.  Ryan moaned and nodded at that.  "We're only here for a few days, Ryan.  I promise."

"Good."  He stared in Xander's eyes.  "Is Strife getting a rush?"

"You know, earlier I heard him gasping for air while he giggled.  Now I'm not sure."  Ryan moaned and kissed him.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, Strifeling."  He gave him a cuddle and looked over at the sleeping Greg.  They had already worn him out so he got first sleep period.  He didn't trust these people.  They had taken Xander before and done it this time too. Xander went back to stroking him.  "Quit."  Xander grinned.  "I mean it. I need to be alert.  Not sleeping off another killer orgasm."

"I'm sorry you nearly died."

"I'm never letting you go that long again," he vowed.  One of the guards came in and he looked at him, seeing the amused look. "If he's not cuddled, he becomes even more like his Lords and Masters, Strife and Cupid."

The guard bowed and put food down.  "So we had heard.  We do hope he can bless the fields tomorrow?"

"Hopefully," Xander agreed.  That got a smile and the guard left them alone.  "Need a bath?"

"I could use one and so could your hair probably.  We should be clean," Ryan called.

"I'll have a bath set up with extra buckets for his hair," the guard agreed. One with hair such as that had to take good care of it.  He had heard rumors that Lord Strife wore some of it around his wrist to play with.  It was said Bards had written about his hair and longing to lose themselves in it and pleasure themselves with it.

***

Horatio looked at the family, plus Steve.  "Did you get it worked out, Steve?"

"We did.  Everything's all set up. He's in a tax shelter.  All you guys have to do is to make him quit playing poker."

"Half the time he plays with thugs so they can't use the money for other things," Eric offered.  "The General owes him how much?"

"Four and a half million," Danny said dryly. "According to Wyatt."

Horatio coughed.  "He should have to pay that."

"He should," Don agreed with an evil smirk.  "Without the drugs this time."

"Very true, without the drugs this time," Horatio agreed. "Did we tell Wyatt this?"  Danny nodded.  "Good.  Maybe Vice can trace where he's getting the money from."  He looked around then at the rest of them.  "How do we keep Xander occupied?"

"Give him a new hobby?" Eric suggested.  "I know the guy sucks at education but still!"

"He's taking lessons on how to sail his new boat," Danny pointed out.  "He used it to seduce Greg on the boat."  That got some smiles.  "Is Greg going with him?  We all thought Greg was going to keep him entertained."

"He does," Don reminded him. "But even Greg gets bored around the house all day.  Letting Xander out into the world is always a bad idea."  They shared a look.  "He likes skill based stuff."

"He liked the carving kits he found at the hobby shop," Calleigh reminded them.

"See, we can encourage that one. Maybe let him do stuff like ornaments to sell for charity and stuff?"  They all shrugged at that.  "Like at the fair last week?"

"We could," Horatio agreed.  "He seems to be tilted toward art and creating."  They all nodded at that.  "Any luck getting him to empty the vault into the bank?"   Steve moaned.  "I'll take that as a no."

"No and if he did at this moment it might bother more things."  He looked over when a twinkling started and a portal opened.  Then stuff got tossed out with a sleeping Greg.  Another one got tossed out on top of Greg and he cuddled it, then the portal got closed once Ryan's mares and their foals came through.  Steve sipped his beer.  "Shopping trip?"

"Something like that," Eric moaned, shaking his head. "Princess, wake up Greg," he called.  One of the mares nudged him and Greg snapped awake.  "Welcome back, Greg."

"Shhh.  Honey mead bad."  He snuggled back in and went back to sleep.  At least until the bag in his hand wiggled, then he put it down and opened it, grabbing a different one to hold and one to pillow his head.

"I do believe I know where they are at least," Horatio said bitterly, shaking his head.  "Someone go get the new refugees out of the bag?"

Frank groaned but got up to do that.  He looked inside the bag, then thought about emptying it as he turned it over and shook.  A few women and two men fell out, plus one young guy.  Then some clothes and a few bags fell on top of them.  He checked, finding one female staring at him.  He moved off to the side and shook harder and she came out with two trunks and hair like Xander's.  He looked at them.  "Welcome to Earth."

"Why did Xander bring home dancing girls?" Steve asked, looking confused.

"The only possible answer to that is that it's Xander and that's an answer in itself," Horatio told him.  He looked over and said something in the language of the place they had been kidnaped together.  One of them wailed and fell on Greg, waking him.  He said something else, patting her on the head.  She stopped and sniffled, going over to kneel at Horatio's feet, babbling something at him.  He said something back and leaned back, resting his head on Speed's shoulder.  "She said they were gifted to Ryan with his new Princess because he had saved her from the foul beast that was trying to harm her."

"I'm guessing the princess is the one with all the hair and the two trunks of clothes?" Frank suggested.

"You'd be correct, Frank."  He looked back at her and said something, getting a nod and her going inside with her handmaidens to look around.  The males with them trotted behind, carrying things for them.  He looked at Speed.  "She's apparently obedient."

"If they give out women maybe I'll go on the next one," Eric said dryly.  Horatio and Speed both glared at him.  Alexx too.  He grinned.  "What?"

"You'd come home with your own harem.  Horatio, did you get offered a princess of your own?" Alexx teased.

Horatio looked at her.  "No comment."  Speed looked at his mate.  "I didn't take them up on it," he promised, taking his hand to hold.

"Why did you get offered a princess?"

"I saved a Lord's daughter from the drunken guard who was trying to grope her."

"Being your noble self," Alexx said happily.  "Good for you, Horatio."

"The other ones?" Speed asked, staring Horatio down.  Horatio squirmed and tried to look innocent. "You said them?"

"I got offered one daughter in exchange for marrying her older sister off to someone.  I turned that father down too.  Plus the one I won at cards."

Speed shook his head.  "No playing poker for you either, Horatio," Frank taunted.  One of the other bags moved and he opened it, letting the young woman out.  "Welcome to earth."

"Where am I?" she asked in English.

"Miami."

"He was supposed to let me out at Throman."

Horatio looked at her.  "We'll get it straightened out when they come back.  They might not have made it there yet.  They brought the princess back here for safety reasons."

"Princess?"  She headed where he pointed, going to ask her.  She came out scowling.  "I hate women like that.  She said they were going to debauch her publically if she wasn't wed this moon.  It's bad for a princess to not be wed, looks bad on the king."  She sat down next to Eric, frowning at him.  "Well, what can I learn here?"

"We've got some great colleges," he offered.  "You're in a whole other world, you know that, right?"

"Of course I do," she said dryly.  She rolled her eyes.  "Men.  Now I know why the Goddess outlawed you from her temples."  She looked at Calleigh and Alexx.  "May I have advice from you two?"

"Sure," Calleigh agreed.  "What do you like to do?"

"How would she get the documents she'd need to get into school?" Steve asked.

"Let me guess, you haven't figured out how to use the laptop Xander sent you?" Eric teased.

"Oh, that way.  It's back in Cascade."

"He's got a setup here," Horatio promised.  "Priestess, you have a whole world to explore here and many fine centers of education."  She smiled at that.  "What areas do you study?"

"Languages and the arts."

"There's a few good schools here in the city," Alexx promised.  "We'll get you set up with one.  Xander can take care of you."

"Xander is a very strong priest of Strife. I should've known something would go wrong with my plans when they offered me the ride inside the case."  She pushed her hair back over her shoulder and looked at Calleigh's clothes, then at her own.  "You look much more comfortable.  Women can wear pants here?"  She nodded.  "Good!  I'll enjoy that."  One of the mares came over to sniff her.  "I'm still not your chew toy, horse."  She gave the nose a gentle shove, so Princess went to nibble on Eric's hair for him.  "The priest of Strife has been helping with her training again.  Perhaps the Chosen One will spank him again.  It was amusing the last time."

"What did they do?" Alexx asked.

She looked at her and smirked.   "There was a merchant who didn't want the temple of Strife to be next to his store so he protested and complained long enough that the village's elders shut it down and ordered them to move.  Then the priests show up.  A Chosen One of Ares to handle the situation with princesses like that one," she said, nodding inside.  "He had twenty-three daughters.  Still probably does since no one's going to marry them now.  The priest of Strife and Cupid followed once he got the other priest of Cupid free from his captor.  That merchant and others suddenly started to have problems.  Including that particular one going after the nibbling one there sexually in the middle of the marketplace.  His wife was mortally embarrassed and ended up killing herself but it was her money behind the shop.  So her family closed it on him and had him punished as a desecrater of purity, their daughter's, and a lover of animals.

"My Goddess, Athena, was not pleased when they went to bother her for a judgement since it was one of her towns."  She pushed her hair back again.  "Needless to say she was in a foul mood with those three priests.  She swore for weeks at Strife.  Xander casually pointed out he was the one who had 'dissed', whatever that means, Strife's temple.  She said it was only fair then and let them run him out of town and into the woods, where he turned into a half-beast.   Now none of the young women can come out and he's telling all the suitors not to marry the princesses since their father didn't stick up for him."  She looked at them.  "Is there a temple to Athena here?"

"No, but you can probably use Xander's altar in the basement," Eric offered. "It's to Cupid and Strife but she might not mind."

"My Goddess is fairly picky.  I'll do without so I don't upset her.  Thank you anyway."

Strife appeared, smirking at her.  "If you had went there, you'd have been killed for being a smart woman, toots."  She shrugged at that.  "Here you'll serve two purposes.  One of them to teach Athena what's going on in today's world here and the other to help keep Xander out of trouble and occupied."  She nodded at that.  "For right now, let's get you into something clothes-like and let you tie your hair up.  Blondey?"

Calleigh looked at him.  "Did you forget I like to play with weapons, Lord Strife?" she asked.

He cackled.  "I like you.  Damn I need a woman like you."  He smirked back.  "You'll be a good big sister to this one.  Get her comfy in some of Xander's clothes for now.  Then we'll work on education and paperwork stuff."

"What did Ryan want us to do with his harem?" Speed asked dryly.

Strife giggled, falling down onto his butt to giggle next to Eric.  "Oohhh, I forgot about them!  We'll handle it.  Let Xander set 'em up somewhere.  She'll be married properly within a few years."  He disappeared, still giggling.

"Come on," Calleigh offered.  "We'll put you into some lounging pajamas.  We're like a family; Xander's run around naked in front of most of us before.  We won't mind."  She nodded, following Calleigh inside to borrow some more proper clothes and something to tie her hair back with.  She found a cursed hair band but it got taken with a head shake.  "Cursed.  One of the people who gifts Xander gave it to him."  She handed over a different one.  "Use that."  That got a smile and she took a shower, coming out clean and dressed in the lounging pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, with her hair braided.  "You can't tell you're not native," she praised.

"No wonder I was chosen to come here.  The Gods work in mysterious ways."  Calleigh smiled and led her back outside once she had on some slippers.  "Could I ask Xander to take me shopping for normal clothes?"

"You can, he needs a shopping buddy," Calleigh assured her.  The priestess pointed at the princess.  "I know."  She led her back to her seat.  "All done.  Anything new?"

"Not yet," Horatio admitted.  He stretched and looked at Speed.  "Did you feed the ferrets?"

"They're inside, Horatio.  Remember, our AC broke again."  Horatio nodded, going to check on their furry offspring.

"I never expected Horatio Caine to keep ferrets," Frank said, smirking at Don and Danny.  "Xander has definitely made him loosen up."

"Yes but not always in great ways," Speed reminded him.  "He still gets into trouble."

"Yeah, but now it's more 'here have a princess' trouble instead of 'I'm going to blow you and your lab up' trouble," he pointed out.

"What did you call the cyanide gas?" Speed demanded.

"One of Delko's exes trying to get even with him," he said, shrugging. "Wasn't it?"

"Well, yeah," Calleigh admitted. "It was.  Another psycho Eric ex."

"Not my fault.  That's why I broke up with her."

"Eric, I love you like a son," Alexx said with a fond smile for the boy, "but you've got Ryan and Aiden. You don't need more than that.  If you do, we're doing the bloodwork to see if you're not part of GHS yourself, dear."  He shuddered at that thought, shaking his head.  "Yes, we will be.  Speaking of, I never did hear about the retest results," she told Speed.

"Haven't done them yet."  He sipped his lemonade, shaking his head.  "I'm not sure I want to know."  Something inside crashed.  "Horatio?"

"Someone on the front lawn threw a rock," he called.  Don got up and went to beat the little brat from up the street this time.

Speed looked at the priestess.  "So are you also here to keep Cordy from coming down to be Xander's secretary?"

Strife came back, testing his forehead.  "You're not usually one of mine," he said, looking confused.

"Horatio thought he might be sick because Speedy said she and Marisol might be cute together," Alexx offered.  "Juice, Lord Strife?"

"No, I've already got quite a rush."  He looked at Speed, patting him on the head. "I'm mean but that would drive all you nuts."  He glanced at Eric, who was growling.  "But they'd be cute."  He disappeared before Eric could pull something pointy.

"Horatio, Speed needs fixed again," Calleigh called.  "He's making Eric growl!"

Horatio came out the back door.  "I told you that was a sign you were getting sick.  Up to bed, right now."  He got him up and inside, even tucking him in with some tea beside him.  "Now stay there."  He went back downstairs, running into the neighborhood patrol officers.  "Good evening."

"Good evening, sir.  Where's Mr. Harris this time?"

"Doing a bit of traveling with Ryan and Greg."

"That's fine.  He made an earlier complaint about this one young man.  We wanted to know the details."

Don came out of the office with paperwork.  "Here.  He downloaded complaint forms off the PD site."  He handed them over.  "Have fun with him."

"Thank you, sir.  Should I call the glass repairmen that were here the other day or are you calling someone else?"

"Which one came over?" Danny asked from the kitchen.

"Pierson's."

"We'll call 'em," Danny promised. "Thanks."

"Welcome, sir."  He drug the kid off, going to have him arrested.  His mother wouldn't like it but oh well.  Next time she should learn how to teach her children obedience.  It said something that Xander's dogs were better trained and smarter than this kid.

The family looked at each other. "I hope you guys don't mind.  Speed's getting sick again."

"That's fine," Don agreed happily.  "The thought of Marisol and Cordy getting together that way is one really sick idea."  Danny nodded at that.  "Though you know they'll end up shopping buddies."  Horatio moaned and nodded.  "I wonder how Eric and his mother would take that...."  He walked off but Danny nerve pinched him and put him to bed too.

"Sorry, apparently it's contagious."  He tucked Don in and went back outside with the food.  He got the princess settled into the mirror house and came back out.  "She's across the boundary."  He shook his head as he sat down.  "Don's sorry but he was starting to catch whatever's wrong with Speed."

"The only thing wrong with Speed was a smutty mind," Alexx said patiently.

"No, I live with one of those all the time.  That wasn't a smutty mind.  Speaking of, Xander's got new stuff that needs proofread. Anyone wanna read the new gay smut?"

"Why can't you?" Calleigh asked.

"Last stuff I read made Don sore.  Plus, I'm still sore from Xander's going away party."  Eric gave him an odd look.  "Don't ask.  Just accept that I am."

Frank gave him an odd look.  "Don't you guys heal pretty quickly?"  Eric nodded at that, still staring at Danny.  "Were you hurt in other ways?"

"Xander nearly killed us," he said honestly.  "That's why we had to call in the relief squad.  Don nearly had a heart attack."

"Which means Ryan's going to need the extra day to recover," Horatio said wisely.  "It was good thinking on his part to arrange for it ahead of time."

"When is Cordelia supposed to come down anyway?" Frank asked.  "I knew he sent her tickets."

Danny got up to call her and make sure.  He came back out.  "Two days."  He flopped down again.  "So more jokes about gay hair."

"No straight guy would have hair like Xander's," Calleigh agreed.

"Macleod did," Danny said with an evil smirk.  "Not quite that long but yeah.  He did."

"Was he straight?" she asked.

"He dated a hell of a lot of women.  I never saw or heard of him with a guy," Danny offered.  The gate opened and Mac drove in, getting waved at.  "Come on over.  Xander, Ryan, and Greggy are off traveling."

"On purpose?" he asked.  They all nodded.  "We let them go with just Ryan as a guard?"

"It's a mistake we won't be repeating," Horatio assured him.

"Especially since Ryan got given a princess and her entourage," Eric agreed, making the priestess giggle.  "Plus Xander imported someone to spoil.  Hey, H, maybe she can keep all that stuff in the vaults and the closets cataloged."

"Then she'd never have time to study, Eric," he pointed out.

"Point." Danny shifted some and put his feet up.  "Come on over, Mac, I'm not in a biting mood today."

"I was petting the horses."  He came over once he had pulled the bags away from the one trying to nibble on it.  That bag wiggled and Horatio moaned, going to let the people out.  The two men babbled and hugged him, saying it was a horrible punishment for thieves and they would go straight.  They promised they would.

"You can throw them back when they come home in a few hours," Strife called without appearing.

"One of *those* trips," Alexx told Mac, getting an understanding look.  "But Ryan's princess is very obedient.  She headed right inside to cook with her people."

Mac just shook his head.  This would go into his mental 'only Xander' file.  Because only Xander could make Ryan Wolfe that unstiff that way.

***

Xander finished his last turn and stopped, looking at the crowd, who stared back.  "Not good?" he asked Ryan.

Ryan finished playing with Greg and looked over.  "I enjoyed the hell out of it.  I think they're stunned."  One of the women hugged him and then pounced the man she wanted.  This was a great marriage celebration!  He had definitely blessed them with fruitful marriages. That broke the dam and others went to grab their chosen partners, with only one fight breaking out.  Ryan coughed and one of them went back to the one who was chosen for her, taking him to have him.  She was the one who screamed the loudest later on too so it hadn't been a bad decision.  "Gotta stick up for geeks getting love," Ryan said happily, coming over to pull Xander in for a kiss and a cuddle.  "You did wonderfully, Xan. Let's get you into a bath."  Xander nodded, grabbing a sleepy Greg to do that.

"That was great," Greg said once he was in Xander's lap in the bathtub.  "I need to practice more often."  Someone pounded on the door so Ryan went to answer it.  He smiled at Xander.  "Good job."

"Thank you."  He stole a kiss with a grin.  "Now, I'm horny and Ryan stretched you for me," he moaned as he shifted and slid into the prepared hole, making Greg moan and clutch the tub.  It was good with Greg.

Ryan came back with dinner.  "Some of the older women sent it in thanks of making them remember their wedding nights as well.  Even ones who can't have children."  He settled beside the tub to help them both get off.  Xander was still broadcasting a little bit. This would fix that and it'd be a happy night in their shared bed again.  Because he was still sore from Xander last night.

***

Ares appeared next to the picnic area.  "Did it escape your mind that aging for them might be different?" he asked Horatio.  Who groaned and nodded.  "It's fixed.  Athena fixed hers, I fixed the princess and her people's stuff. When Ryan gets back tell him he can skip practice in the morning.  He's still too sore."  He looked at Eric, then back at Horatio.  "Also, you might want to pray for another closet."

"Some of it can go into Tayla's place," Calleigh said firmly.

Ares looked at her.  "This isn't stuff you'd normally decorate with."  He brought something to his hand and put it in front of her.  "It's things like that."  She eeped and blushed at the carved penis lyre.  He looked at Eric.  "By the way, that's not Ryan, that's Greg."  He smirked and disappeared.

"Greg's a what level?" Frank asked.

"Four," Horatio moaned, taking the lyre to stroke over.  It was very nice sounding.  "It's well made."

"It's still covered in boy parts," Alexx complained.

"Yeah, but we thought it had been Ryan's boy parts," Danny told her.  "Xander's thicker and a bit wider at the head."

She looked at him.  "I don't need ta know that, Danny.  The boy's not mine.  I love him but he's not mine.  My husband would get really mad if I brought Xander home with me to share."

Calleigh looked at her.  "I didn't know you and Peter shared boys, Alexx," she teased.  She got swatted for it and laughed. "You said it."

"Uh-huh.  The smutty mind has infected me now so I should go home."

"You all right to drive?" Eric asked, smirking at her.

"I'll be fine, boys."  She stood up.  "You all have a good night taunting the boys when they get back. Call me if you need me."  She headed over to get in her car and drive home.

"I knew it was contagious," Horatio complained quietly, making Frank and Eric laugh.

Calleigh got up to answer the phone inside, coming out a few minutes later.  "Good news and bad news."  Everyone stared at her.  "The good news is everyone's okay.  Angel and his group got sucked into a portal that somehow connected with wherever the boys are. They got them free.  Xander apparently went into high princess mode, Cordy's words, to save her since they were going to behead her.  Debauched her in public no less."  She sat back down.  "Bad news is Angel wants to send Cordy down for an extended vacation since they picked up a new human over there and he needs time to get her settled in.  Plus Cordy's having flashbacks to dating Xander.  He wants them solved before she comes back to work and he has to see more of Xander's hind end than he already has, his phrase.  He's also thinking about sending Wesley down and I'm not sure how Xander will react to having a Watcher in town."

"He's called him for advice in the past," Ryan offered as he came out.  The two thieves got glared at so they ran back through the portal.  He walked Xander's horse out, letting him go free and roam.  Xander got the other bags and Greg got his two, plus Ryan's free one.  Ryan turned and bowed.  "Thank you, Lord Ares.  Cordelia?"

"She'll be down the normal way," he promised patiently.  "Give yourself time to rest and relax, Ryan. You'll need it."

"Thank you, Lord Ares. Anything else I should watch out for?"

"Your horses nibbling on the bags?" Greg suggested.  "Since it'll rip 'em and everything inside will be sent to a black hole?"

"Technically it'll be sent to a place where the demonic mafia rules," Ares said impatiently.  "It's just really hard to get it back.  No, Xander, that wasn't an invitation or a hint."  He zapped some power next to the foal and mare, making them back away from the bags for good.  "I trained you better than that."  She snorted and went to nuzzle her herd stallion.  "Put those inside, boys.  Behave for a few more days.  Remember, you've got to set Ryan's princesses up and the new priestess to Athena."  He disappeared and the portal crackled and snapped until another two things came through.  But they disappeared almost immediately, leaving the things they had been carrying on the ground.

"Not my fault," Xander called. "Cupid told me to dance for that marriage celebration!"

"Now we know why it's a bad idea," Ryan told Greg, who nodded at that.  He was still walking funny too.  "Go sit on Danny.  He's sore too by the way he's sitting."  Greg wobbled that way and sat on him with a sigh of relief.

"Did Xander do mean and kinky things to you?" Calleigh teased.

"I think you're catching whatever Speed has," Horatio said firmly.  He looked at Greg.  "Want a bath?"

"That's how I got this sore.  There was a water monster."

"Water monster?" Eric asked.  "Like Nessie?"

"Not quite but I feel like I did get taken by her.  No, the water monster Xander."  He put his head down on Danny's shoulder.  "Protect me too?"

"Sure," he promised, stroking Greg's back.  "You can even take a bath and not have Xander pounce you."  Xander snickered and kissed him on the top of the head.  "It's not nice to make them that sore."

"I'm sorry, guys."

"Xander, baby, I love you," Ryan offered with a sweet and gentle smile. "Go find a toy.  We'll play with the toy."  The dogs ran inside to find their ball. "See, go play with your dogs."  Xander bounced and went that way, all the bags floating inside and into the practice room.  Ryan sat down with a small moan of complaint.  "I want faster healing," he whined.  "Why can't it be instantaneous?"

"Because it's not," Eric told him.  "How long have you been sore for?"

Ryan looked at him. "Since before we left.  Do you remember what it's like to ride when you had a sore ass?"

"Not very well."

"I do."  He put his head down, letting Calleigh play with his longer hair.  "I know I need a trim," he said into the table.

"You poor baby. Why don't you go soak?" she offered.

"Because somehow Xander knew and teleported into the bath to have me again the last time," he complained, looking at her.  "Danny and Don are going to need help wearing him out tonight.  Have fun with that, Eric."  He put his head back down, falling asleep there once his mares came over to guard him.

Xander's stallion came over to nibble on Horatio's hair, making him look up.  "Yes, we saw you.  You're still very handsome."  He patted the soft nose.  "Watch for the boy and the dogs.  Xander, play with them out here," he called.  He threw the ball out the back door and the dogs came rushing out and he bounced out to play with them in the yard with the horses too.  He even switched to a bigger ball so the horses could play.

"That's too cute for anything but a hallmark card," Calleigh said, taking a picture. Eric and Horatio nodded, making Tayla giggle and nod too.

"Hey, Xander, any new funny stories?" Frank called.

"A town dedicated to Athena thought Greg and I were the perfect virgin sacrifices," he called.  Tayla moaned at that.  "I ended up making them beg to get us free."

"That's one of the reasons I got sent with you.  So no one else could make that mistake,"

Tayla promised.  She petted the dog that came over to sniff her, smiling at him. "You're a very good hound."  It ran back to play and bounce around the daddy for the tennis ball, getting it thrown.  She sent a silent prayer to her Goddess for strength, and then one to Ares for his headache after having watched over the trio for a while.

"You have no idea," Strife's voice called.  "I had fun."  Greg whimpered. He appeared.  "I did."

"I'm sore, Lord Strife.  Please not today?"

Ryan lifted his head.  "We still think he's your son."  He put his head back down when Xander cackled.  "See?"

"Well, he's mine in other ways," Strife said smugly, smirking at his boy.  "Good job!"

"Thank you.  What do you think of the ship?"

"Bit much."

"But safe."

"True, very safe, and if this turns into Waterworld, you've got it handled."  He disappeared again.

The others all moaned.  They didn't want to know any more.  None of them did.

Mental Places That Make You Go Odd.

Eric picked Cordelia up at the airport, giving her a hug.  "Still having Xander flashbacks?"

"A few.  Is the big dumbass in trouble again?"

"No, but we wanted to talk to you first."

"Sure.  As long as you carry the luggage."  She smirked.

"That's fine."  He helped her get her three bags out to the hummer then took her into the office so everyone could talk to her.  He signed her in.  "This is Xander's ex Cordelia," he said.

The receptionist looked at her.  "So, was he bad in bed and that's why you gave him up?"

"No, technically his best friend decided to panic about being a grown up girl and started to kiss him.  I ended up shived on rebar thanks to that.  That and I was pretty mean to him."

"That special friend would be the redhead who helped try to blow him up," Eric told her.  The receptionist shuddered.  "He was eighteen."

"Yes, we were," Cordelia sighed.  "I'm feeling really old looking back."  She shook her head.  "Anyway.  Dumping Xander was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. He still supported me even after that."  She walked off with Eric once she had her pass.  "You guys all know Xander here?"

"Xander brings lunch in every few days," Eric told her.  "He flirts outrageously with her."  He went back.  "He hasn't done it since," he offered.

"I didn't figure Messer would put up with it."

"No, he didn't do it after me.  It was a hormone reaction," Cordelia offered.  "He's the one who kept her from taking it farther than too."

"Aww."  She smiled.  "Well, he's better now, right?"  Eric nodded.  "Good.  Then I won't pick on him about it.  Now, shoo.  Lieutenant Caine's around here somewhere growling.  Stetler had to go to him to prove some guy guilty."  That got a groan from Eric but he walked her off again.   "That poor boy," she cooed.  "He's got better taste now that he's gay."

"So, are we sure Xander's not in any trouble?" she asked patiently.

"Very but most of the family is here," Eric offered with a grin.  "Then we'll have lunch and Xander can take you wherever."

"Sure."

She was walked into the detective's area.  "Guys, look who I have."

Danny smiled back at her.  "Hey, Cordy."

"Danny."  She hugged and kissed him on the cheek.  She smiled at Don and swatted him on the arm.  "I still owe you for siccing the dogs on me to pounce and lick."  She smiled at the others.  "So, what's with the family meeting?"

"Just some warnings," Ray complained.  "Shouldn't really be necessary but you're a nice break from catching bad guys."

"Sure."  She smirked at Frank.  "Not going to say hi?"

"You still scare me."  He smirked back.  "Are you going to chase down something and stake it again with Xander?"

"Not unless it does what that one did and tries to grope me.  Because eww."  She watched as someone walked past where they were.  "Speaking of eww."  She stared down the man who paused.  "Yes, Angel sent me out to help my former boyfriend," she sneered.  "Got problems with that?"  He took a step back and shook his head. "Good.  Then shoo unless you've got official business with them. Now.  Shoo.  Seriously, giving me migraines."  The half-demon turned and stomped off.  "Thank you!  And you might try to invest in something like water too!" she snarked after him.  She shook her head.  "I know he probably didn't claim it on his paperwork but still sickening."

"Many of us feel that way about him," Ray agreed dryly.  "So, are you the ex he took to the prom or one of the other ones?"

"Sorry, Ray Kowalski, this is Cordelia Chase."

"I'm the one he used to make out in closets with but fought in public with all the time."

"Ah.  The mean one."  He nodded and shook her hand.  "My boy helped train Xander so we're buddies."

"That's cool.  Xander could use more friends.  They'll keep him out of trouble and go on rescues when he's being dumb."

"Remember how they had that talk about hormones?" Don asked.  She nodded slowly.  "They were working back then too."

"So, Willow went to him for smoochies because she was part demon then?"

"Or starting to turn bad girl," Danny agreed.  "After all, most of you were in one way or another."

She smiled brightly.  "Thank you.  That's the nicest compliment I've gotten all day."  That got a round of laughs.  "So, give, what did the Prince of Gay Hair do this time?"

"Nothing yet," Don offered.

"You're to make sure of it," Danny agreed with an evil smirk.  "Plus you can help him and Greg catalog if you want."

"That sounds suspiciously like work."

"Well, yeah," Don offered.  "But he'll spoil you rotten while he's treating the princess and entourage that Ryan got given and the priestess who came here to go to college.  This way we've got a nark in his team since Greg doesn't always share the stuff with us."

"Things like the boat," Frank noted.

"Yeah, and his poker buddies that he still goes to play with now and then," Danny agreed.

"Xander can play poker?" she asked, looking confused.

"Xander's playing high stakes poker," Danny said fondly.  "With people who deal drugs now and then.  Unfortunately he keeps winning and pissing them off."

"Not any more," Don pointed out.  "Unless it's that one guy and he challenges him again."

"True."  He looked at Cordelia.  "He still made a few mil off poker recently.  Went to a gambling place and broke their bank because they were bad guys."

"Well, I guess it kept them from using it for bad guys plots," she said.

"That was his idea," Frank agreed.  Horatio and Speed came over with Ryan reading a file behind them.  "More work or can we all sit and talk with the pretty one?"

"I'm more than just my hot ass, Detective Tripp," she assured him with a catty smile.  "After all, I hunted with Buffy too."

"Yes, I remember you hunting something down to stake it," Horatio admitted, looking at her.  "Do you think you could keep Xander out of trouble?"

"I'd hope he wouldn't drag me along again."  Ryan gave her a look.  "What?  He did."

"Let him spoil you, let him help you spoil the others," Ryan ordered.  "Tell us what he's doing, and if you want to you can snark at his new admirers."

"Sure.  Why they want Xander I don't know.  Why anyone would want the Princess of Gayness I don't know.  He's not the same Xander I dated."

"Thankfully," Danny agreed, staring her down.  "Get to know Greg when he comes in.  He's starting to work again soon so you'll have a lot of Xander to yourself.  We expect to not see him in trouble ever again."

She burst out laughing.  "Xander?  Trouble?" she giggled, leaning on Frank's desk.  "No, he's not attracted to it at all, guys."

"In this instance, he and trouble need to be less acquainted," Horatio said firmly.

"It's not like he brought home the princess," Don teased.  Ryan swatted him with the folder.  "He didn't."

"All I did was save her life, Flack.  Her daddy gave her to me."  He looked at Horatio again then shrugged.  "He's said he's got them a place to live.  Tayla too."

"Good," he agreed.  "I'm assuming he's let them pick through the closets of things so they could use it to decorate?"  Everyone nodded.  "Even better.  Does he have everything in the closets cataloged?"

"Yup," Ryan agreed.  He looked at Cordelia.  "We need you to tell us when he starts doing stupid crap again.  Please.  He can spoil you all he wants as long as he doesn't go broke. You can snark and be mean to any of his admirers."

"You can kick their asses if they attack you guys," Ray agreed.  "But we think you can keep Xander out of the more serious trouble."

"I can try.  So what happened with Willow and Buffy?"

"They got help escaping and got sent somewhere else for punishment," Eric told her.  "After they tried to hack his accounts, put cameras in his home to watch him having sex, and Buffy bombed one car and tried it on Danny's."

"Ah, charming."

"Ye old liquor problems," Danny said dryly.

"Even better."  She watched as Calleigh came over.  "I wouldn't have worn that shirt, honey."  Calleigh looked at her.  "Stains.  You've got yellow stains.  Looks like mustard."

"It was from the last scene.  I'll change before lunch. But thanks."  She smiled.  "No Xander with lunch yet?"

Cordelia called him.  "I'm in, hungry, and waiting.  Where are you?"  She nodded. "Sure.  No, we're all here and the pretty blonde woman is going to change first.  That's fine," she said patiently.  "No, I still don't like rye bread."  She smiled.  "Thanks, Xander."  She hung up.  "He's getting lunch now so you have time."  She smiled but walked off to change.  "It's a horrible thing when pretty and stunning women are wearing bad clothes.  That's why I change all the time."  Horatio snickered at that, turning away to do it.  "I do."  She smirked at Speed.  "Hi."

"Hi.  I still don't care if you don't like my clothes, they're comfortable."

"Up to you, dear. If you want to go out looking like you borrowed the detective here's shirt," she said with a nod toward Frank.  "That's all on you."

"Actually, I did steal this one but not from him."  He smirked at Ryan.  "So, anything?"

"A headache.  I didn't get breakfast because I got up late."  He went back to the file.  "If we're talking suspects, nope."  Someone screamed and lunged at them, and Ryan pulled the sword he had Xander hide for him, attacking the person until they were against a wall looking very scared.  "Did you actually think before you attacked some officers?  Because that was terribly stupid.  Really."  The man whimpered and wet himself.  "Good!  I'm glad you've decided to debase yourself in front of us.  It makes it all the more fun for us."

"Mr. Wolfe, may we have him now?" Horatio asked patiently.

"Sure, boss."  He let him go and handed him to Horatio, putting the sword back.

"Thank you."

"Why are you wearing your sword at work?" Frank asked.

"Habit.  It's a good habit but habit."  He went back to his file browsing.  "We may have two suspects, Speed."

"Great."  He smacked him on the side of the head. "Dumbass."

"Gotta say, hottie with a sword is still pretty cool," Cordy offered dryly.  She watched as Xander came up with a large box, cooing at the guy in handcuffs until he dropped to his knees and tried to suck him.  "Hey!  None of us want to see that!"  The guy got pulled off and away.  "Xander!"

"I didn't do anything, just made him quit fighting.  Sorry!"  He handed the box to Danny.  "Here, lunch."  He grinned at Cordelia, giving her a hug.  "Welcome back."

"Thanks.  Angel claims he got tired of listening to me complain way too loudly about how I used to grope you."

"Angel needs laid," he reminded her. "I've even sent him my magical sex toys so he could be a semi-happy boy while you're gone."

She giggled, leaning on his arm.  "I can see them attacking him when he opens the box," she howled, almost crying in mirth.  "I so hope Gunn catches it somehow!"

He beamed. "I'm a good boy."

"Keep tryin'," Don offered, waving a hand.  "Some day it'll be true, Xan."  He stood up and got his own hug around Cordelia.  "Where's Greg?"

"Lab.  He got stuff early.  So I went to play in the park."

Horatio came back from handing over their problem and looked at him.  "Would that be why there's a problem in the park, Xander?"

"Not as far as I knew.  I took the dogs out to play."  They all stared at him.  "What?  It's not like I danced *there*."

"Where did you dance?" Ryan asked patiently.  "So we can go break up that orgy."

"Madam Qui's.  I wanted to see if the quarth demons, who're are basically demonic GHS members, could do them."

"Isn't that a brothel?" Ray asked, looking a bit confused.  Xander nodded slowly.  "Her clients?"

"No, I hired a few of them out for a few hours to see if they could learn it.  They've got their own style so I'm learning that one but it's not as good or as hot coming from me."

They just nodded at that and took him to have their lunch in the break room.  Now Cordelia knew why they needed her: Xander would pout too much if they kept him in handcuffs all day.

***

Cordelia came in from picking fruit, finding Aiden making her own lunch.  "Hey."

"Hey.  Back again?"

"Yeah, Angel complained that I moaned too much about how I used to grope Xander after he saved us in another realm."

"Huh?" she asked.

"We were on our mystical road trip," Xander called from the basement. "We ran into them being held hostage so we helped."

"Oh, sure," she agreed, looking at Cordy.  "How long you in for?"

"Angel thought it might be a good idea if I had a real vacation.  He's taking one too."

"Interesting."  She smiled at that.  "So you're going to make Xander spoil you?"

She smirked.  "If he wants I wouldn't complain," she offered with a grin.  "But I'd never *force* it.  Maybe whine my way into it now and then."  Aiden laughed at that.  "How about you?"

"I'm still working on my last spoiling one.  I got a ten grand gift certificate to a really great chocolate place."

Cordelia shook her head.  "There's no way any one human can eat that much chocolate."

"I can roll it over into new gift certificates.  Found that out after I ate about a grand worth."  Cordelia shuddered at that.  "It's really great chocolate."

"I'm sure it is."  Xander came up the stairs with a set of keys and his wallet.  "Problems?"

"Just doing a refill.  I took Ryan's girlfriend shopping yesterday."  Aiden gaped in horror.  "Oh, you didn't hear about the princess?"

"Princess?" she squeaked.

"Yeah, Ryan saved her from being eaten so her father gave her to him.  She was getting a bit old and needed to be married off before the customary debauching in public and beheading happened.  It looks bad on the king when his daughters aren't married," he said at her furious look.  "So he got given a princess and an entourage.  They're living on the boat."

"Boat?" Cordy asked.

He beamed and nodded. "Yup, my own boat."  He grinned at them.  "So, Aiden, are you free this afternoon?"

"Yup.  Why?  Need more cuddles?"

"Nope, I'm good on cuddles.  Greg got happy when he got told his lab was finished."  He hugged them both.  "Finish up and we'll go play in the sunshine.  Cordy could use sunglasses."  Aiden gave him a scared look but let it go and finished up her lunch while Cordelia ate some fruit for hers.  He grinned at her reaction to the dark skinned fruit.  "Isn't that great?  I found that tree the other day.  I'm wondering if we can make other things out of it, like wine."  He led them out.  "Aiden, are you following?"

"No, we can take my car, Xander.  That way we can rent Cordelia her own."

"I was going to let her use Danny's since he's getting a new one," he admitted.

"Does Danny know he's getting a new car?"

"He ordered it, I'd hope so."

"Good, not an extra special boyfriend present," Aiden sighed.  She got in to drive but he shoved her over and slid in.  "My car."

"I drive better."  She gave him a look.  "I do.  Horatio even said so.  He said I drive better than Ray too."

"Fine.  Where are we headed?"

"To pick up Tayla and take her clothes shopping so I can have my jammie pants back."  He backed down the driveway and headed for the docks.  "Plus to see my boat."

"Okay," Cordelia agreed.  "Are we repainting the boat?"

"Yup, it's a bit loud inside."

"Like your shirts loud?"

"Like louder than my shirts loud.  Even I said it was loud and I like my shirts."

"You need better taste, Xander."

"I let the salesmen dress me."

"You're gay, sweetie, you should have the fashion sense," she complained.

"I do, I let the gay salesmen tell me what I'm wearing."  He turned a corner and headed off in a new direction, then back toward the docks when he found the one shop closed.  "Shoot.  It's not open today."  He shrugged.  "He's very good at helping me."

Aiden hid her grin.  "Is Danny going to complain that you need to clean your closet again?"

"Probably.  Then again he was wearing my shirt at lunch," he said proudly.  "Don was too."

"I noticed it was one of the suits you bought him."  They pulled up in front of a small ship.  "Xander, baby, isn't that a little cruise ship?"

He looked at her and nodded.  "Yeah.  Why?"  He honked and Tayla came bouncing down the gangplank.  He beamed at her.  "Did you bring them?"

"I did, I even washed them when I figured out where the washer was and how to use it."  She handed the bag over to him.  "Hi, I'm Tayla, Priestess of Athena."

Cordy looked at her.  "Cordelia Chase.  I used to hunt vampires with Xander," she said, shaking her hand.  "Have you met Aiden?"

"Just the once.  Hello again."

"Hey.  Did he get you the ID stuff?"

"He did.  Thank you, Xander."

"Welcome."  He took off when no one else came out.  "They off?"

"Napping on the other side of the ship to get tans.  She noticed how many of the locals had tans and decided it was a good thing to fit in."  He shrugged and headed off again.  "She was also thinking about getting a tiny dog."

"We'll see.  I'm hoping she finds a new life here, but one of the GHS Greg told on the bulletin boards sounded interested in her and her entourage."  He shrugged and took them to the first store.  "We'll get you the basics here, then go spoiling."  She nodded and they went inside.  He pulled Cordelia closer to smile at her.  "What did they want you to do?"

"Keep you out of trouble and do some mild secretarial stuff for you.  Like cataloging."

"It's all done," he complained, kissing her on the cheek.  "We'll see.  Go find something cute."  She went to do that.  He looked at Aiden.  "You too."

"I don't need more clothes."  He hugged her. "I don't. I don't have ta do laundry for a month, that's enough clothes for me."  He shrugged and led her on to look around at least.  He handed her a new t-shirt pack and she sighed.  "Fine."

"For your practical classes."

"Point."  They helped Tayla load up, Cordelia being fashion conscious and comfortable conscious on her behalf.  Then they went to a slightly higher end place.

***

Cordelia walked into the study and looked at Don where he was struggling with the checkbook again.  "You don't have it on a program?"

"We do.  I'm trying to figure out where this other money came from."

"Interest? Or rent payments if he's got someone else living on that boat of his?"  He looked up at her.  "It's one of the baby cruise ships.  Like you'd take around for a day or two cruise."  He moaned. "It's being repainted and stuff.  The princess is living in one suite, Tayla has another one.  Oh, did you know he's letting the salesmen dress him?"

"I figured they were.  It's fine as long as he's happy.  When did he buy the boat?"

She looked at the door then at him.  "I don't think he did, Don."  He moaned.  "I think it came from gambling.  He said he won it off the bastards he had beaten for using it to ship drugs."

He moaned and put his head down on the desk.  "Why?" he muttered.

"Because he's a Xander and they probably had to pay him that way.  He did say he had let the Vice officers go over it a few times when Aiden and he talked about it."

Don got up and headed out there to grab Aiden and pump her for information.

"You could try asking me," Xander called after them.  Don came back and grabbed him instead, letting Aiden cook for him. "What did you want to know?"  Don sat down in one of their loungers and Xander snuggled into his lap, getting comfortable.  "What?"

"The ship?"

"All you had to do was ask, Don."

"I'm askin' now.  Ship, Xander?"

"Did you hear about how Vice asked me to bust these guys?"

"I heard you busted a gaming ship."

"They asked."

"Okay.  And....."

"I did what I did in Mississippi to them.  I broke the bank and then some.  They didn't have my Vegas file and I hit a few very nice slots and video poker machines and then at the baccarat tables since their poker dealer was dealing seconds."  He played with his shirt buttons. "By the time we got back they had searched me for electronics, found out I wasn't cheating, and had to pay me. The ship's owner came on and asked how I wanted paid. I said cash, he said it'd take them a day, they hadn't stocked that much on the boat.  He offered to pay me what they had and drugs and I said I didn't do drugs. I hated drugs.  Drugs were evil.  He blanched and offered me the ship.  So I took it.  I'm having it repainted too because it was louder than my shirts."  He looked at him.  "Then I let Vice come in and bust 'em. I had on a wire they couldn't find."

"Damn," he groaned, shifting his hips some to get feeling back in that foot.  "Can you move just a bit?"  Xander shifted and he smiled.  "Thanks, babe."  He kissed him and stroked his back.  "So that was all a Vice sting?"  He nodded, smiling at him.  "You got to keep the boat?"

"They owed me the money."

"True.  Usually Vice would've taken it."

"They said they didn't want it and couldn't sell it so I got it.  It runs okay and I can drive it now."

"Good.  Does Greg know about this?"  He shook his head.  "Okay then."  He took another kiss.  "That's fine, Xander.  Have they asked you to bust anywhere else?"

"One drug hellhole.  But they only wanted me to broadcast at them so they were quiet and easy to arrest."

"Hmm."  He took another kiss.  "I wanna see this boat soon."  Xander beamed and nodded.  "We were going to?"

"Once it was done being repainted.  Don, is it wrong to lead one of the guys who're human on?" he asked quietly, going back to playing with his shirt.  "Because one's on my ass and I can't tell him no.  He doesn't listen, but I'm not sure of the ethics of leading him on."

"You shouldn't lead anyone on if you're already taken, Xander.  That way leads back to your old job."  Xander stiffened at that.  "It does.  I know you're not sleeping with him but it's really close to what strippers do."  Xander looked up at him.  "It is."

"I know but he's been sending stuff and I keep sending it back so he sends bigger things.  I thought maybe if I accepted a careful few he might slow down and not bankrupt himself."

"No, that's not right.  I'll give him a warning to leave my boy alone."  He kissed him.

"Might be a problem with that.  He's part of the bank and he said if I didn't he was going to make my cash disappear because he'd tell the feds it was part of an illegal operation."

"I can stop that," Don promised. "We'll talk with Horatio about that tomorrow, okay?"  Xander smiled and nodded.  "Good boy.  Anything else?"

"I went to report the boat to the IRS when I got the final paperwork today.  They don't know me.  They couldn't find me in the system."

"Excuse me?"

"Three guys checked, I wasn't in the system.  Not even by social security number."

"Hell.  Did they say you had died?"

"Nope, just that I wasn't in there.  They referred it up to the district guy who thinks it got taken out due to the passport thing.  But he couldn't find the other identity either. So he's calling DC."

"Crap."  He snuggled him.  "Hopefully this won't be a problem for the feds," he agreed.

"Maybe they'll continue to ignore me?"

"Maybe," he agreed, "but that could make the banking stuff harder, Xander."

"No, I still have a credit report, I just don't have a social security number at the moment that's legit according to them."

"That means they could think you're dead and cancel stuff," Danny warned as he came outside.  "Back when they first started it the same thing happened a few times."

"No, I called the bank and talked to Miss Gold immediately.  They had to call her back because she was halfway to her car," Xander told him.  "She got on there with the agents and they told her it wasn't in the system but she said she verified it before, when I first moved stuff down.  So she's put a big note in my file, according to her, that I have a legit social security number and that I am alive, but that the IRS lost me."  He looked at them. "If I have to, you guys are all on my accounts so I can move it back to the demon bank I suppose. Or we can be like pirates and carry around trunks of stuff."

"No, that's a bad idea," Don assured him, patting him on the back.  "Danny?"

Danny shuddered.  "Trying not to imagine Xander as a pirate."  He headed back inside to send Horatio a warning email that they'd be coming in tomorrow about some stuff that's been done to Xander.  Including that the ship was due to a Vice sting they had Xander go on with them.

***

Horatio saw the email titled 'not an emergency, stay home, we'll see you tomorrow morning' and groaned, opening it.  He read it.  "Speed?"  He came in from the kitchen.  "Tell me that doesn't say what I think it does?"

Speed read then looked at him.  "It does.  It says our PD is taking advantage of Xander.  Huh."   He went back to the kitchen then he came back to read a part over again.  "The IRS says he doesn't exist?"

"Apparently."

"Search him through our systems?"  Horatio logged back into his PD account and did a search for him.  He came up with a credit history, he came up with bank listings.  He came up with a personnel profile?  But he didn't come up with an active social security number.  It came up locked.  He got into that file and stared at it.  "Call the guys who had Ray?"

"I'm going to do that tomorrow.  The number's in my desk."  The phone on his desk rang and he smirked.  He knew someone had his office bugged.  "Caine," he answered.  "Ray."  He smirked.  "Can you please call your former keepers and see what they have planned with Xander?  Yes, that one, Raymond.  Because someone has sealed his social security number.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Our nephew is not happy.  I heard him ranting in the background."

"It did take him away from his family and everything he'd known," Speed reminded him, giving him a hug.  "Remember, he can come back."  He went back to his cooking.

Horatio waited on the other phone call.  "Caine," he answered.  "Agent Johnson.  No, his real identity is Alexander Lavelle Harris."  He listened to him.  "I have no idea and neither does he.  No, he's got everything but a working social security number.  No, that's his real identity.  I would assume some sort of family name or his mother was simply cruel," he admitted dryly, leaning back, one hand holding his forehead.  "No, on our end it looks locked.  No, I've seen his California birth certificate."  He groaned.  "The local office burned, Agent Johnson.  Sunnydale."  He smirked. "I thought it might be related.  So, can this be unlocked?"  He thumped his head on the back of the chair.  "He'll be in my office sometime tomorrow.  You may come speak to him then.  Yes, him and his keeper, who is in the lab.  He's a higher level member of GHS," Horatio said quietly.  That got a gag and choke from him.  "Exactly.  So, this can be fixed?"  He nodded once.  "Thank you and I'll introduce you when he comes tomorrow.  Of course."  He hung up and held his head tighter.  "Speed?"  Two tylenol hit his desk.  He looked at the demon who was presently admiring Xander.  "Thank you."

"You are welcome.  It was not us.  It was one of his friends trying to make amends."  He grinned.  "The thought of him being like a pirate with trunks is very amusing."  He disappeared.

Horatio took the tylenol and went to get a hug. He could use a hug.  The image of Xander as a pirate was one that would mean he'd need pampering tonight.

***

Horatio looked up as the Vice commander walked into his office.  "What were you thinking when you used a civilian?"

"I thought he was one of the bad guys you had turned," she complained.

"No, Mr. Harris isn't a criminal.  He's a very nice young man with a hormone condition.  He's GHS."

"I realized that.  I saw him at the convention. You guys are always looking over his shoulder."

"He's twenty-three.  Of course we do," he said impatiently, standing up.  "He's not a criminal.  If you want to approach him for his help, the proper procedure is to ask Messer or Flack.  Understood?"

"Fine," she agreed, shrugging.  "Can we help his help busting that poker ring again?"

"He nearly died the last time," he told her.  Which wasn't fully a lie, he had died a few times but being immortal meant he came back.  "We had to send him to Monaco on a quick trip last time."

"Whatever.  Can we use him?"

"Clear it with Flack and Messer."

"Where are they?"

"Danny?" he called.  Danny jogged up the stairs and came in.  "This is the Vice commander who was working with Xander."

"Huh.  At least I can kick your ass for endangering his life."  She looked unamused.  "Xander doesn't really think of it as more than playing James Bond, lady."

"I am your superior as well."

"You're endangering the kid's life.  Not like you're gonna get respect."

"We need him to bust that poker ring he was part of."

"He can't. He's banned."  She moaned.  "Because Horatio slipped up and let it be known we found out becuase'a him.  So, from now on, you clear anything you come to him about with us *first*.  Got it?"

"Why are you so concerned?  He's a rich little playboy."

Danny put down his glasses and moved closer.  "Because I'm one of his protectors, lady.  He's not a rich playboy.  He used ta work construction before his hormones got out of hand."  She snorted and glared at that.  "You know what, he can't do a thing for you any more.  A more reasonable person maybe but not you."  She stomped off.  He flipped her off and looked at Horatio.  "So?"

"His social security number was sealed by a friend making amends," he said, handing him back his glasses.  "Thank you for not making me clean up blood."

"Not an issue."  He picked up the phone and called the IAB tipline.  "Hey, I'd like to report a commander outta Vice.  She's been using civvies to bust rings and sneering at them for being rich boys. Didn't tell 'im it might be dangerous or anything."  He hung up on the machine when it asked for his name and badge number.  "So this was Willow?"

"According to his new admirer, yes."

"The human one at the bank who's blackmailing him or another one?"

"The demonic one, Danny.  What one at the bank?"

Danny groaned.  "One of the guys at the bank said Xander will be his or else he'll turn in his cash to the feds as being illegally gotten."

"That won't work at the moment."  He shook his head.  "We'll handle it.  Is that why he's coming in?"

"That and to tell you what the Vice lady wanted him for.  Apparently she had him calm a drug house so they could have an easier arrest."

"Which isn't legal but a very good idea," Horatio admitted. "I've used it in the past."  Rick Stetler walked in, looking confused.  "You listened to the tipline already?"

"I did.  What?"

"Xander's comin' in later," Danny admitted. "One of the Vice commanders used him ta get that gambling ship and other things."

"Why?"

Don leaned in.  "Xander felt himself being talked about and called.  He'll be down as soon as he puts on clothes."  He looked at Stetler, then at Horatio and Danny.  "He givin' you shit?"

"No, Don, he's helping this time," Horatio assured him.  "Danny called to talk to him about the Vice issue."

"Yeah, I'm not sure having him broadcast at a drug house was legal."

"What?" Stetler demanded.

Danny nodded.  "You can ask him himself but yeah.  Apparently she had him broadcast at a, as he called it, drug hellhole so it'd be an easy arrest."

Stetler groaned and nodded.  "No, that's not legal and it could jeopardize the arrest and evidence if their lawyers found out.  Anything else?"

"Someone sealed his social Security number," Horatio said dryly.  "I was told it was a friend trying to make amends.  Plus he's got a blackmailing suitor at one of the banks."

"Charming."  Xander walked in and looked at him.  "You have information that an officer is doing things the wrong way?"

"You mean she wasn't supposed to get me to go into the gambling ship to bust their banks?  Then she seized the assets but had to give me what I had won, after she searched for drugs and illegal immigrants."

"No," he said, shaking his head.  "Which one do you want with you?"

"Can I have Don?  He's calmer."  He grinned at Danny and handed over a bag. "You forgot the lunch I made you."  He looked at Don.  "If you're not busy?"

"No, I'm not busy."  He walked off with them, giving Frank a look.  "I'll explain it later," he mouthed when Frank looked confused.  "Not me, him."  They walked into an interrogation room and he sat beside Xander to explain what he was allowed to do to help and what he wasn't allowed to do to help.  Though some of it did get funny looks from Stetler. Apparently some of his ideas were borderline in Miami.

***

Frank walked up to where Horatio was staring outside.  "What's going on with kid now?"

"Blackmail," he complained, looking at him.  "One of the people in the bank.  Plus someone locked his social security number so it's not registering in the system."

"What about the stuff in the bank?"

"That's fine so far.  We've told the bank about that."  He turned to look at him. "Plus, new rules are going to be coming down about how we use civilians in stings."

"They did what?" he asked.

"Remember the ship, Frank?"  Frank moaned and nodded. "That was a Vice bust.  She claims she thought he was a criminal we had turned."

"He doesn't have a record, Horatio."

"I noticed that.  She also had him broadcast at a drug house to have an easy arrest."  Frank gaped.  "I've done it mildly but not like what he did," he said quietly.

"So.... the guy who thinks Xander's a Goddess?"

"There's more of them," he sighed, turning around again.  "He's talking with one of the agents now to see if he can get his social security number back in the system.  It's not letting him."

"They can file for a new one."

"No, that system, and therefor the IRS system, won't register his name, Frank."

"Which means he'll be in trouble with the bank eventually," Frank noted.

"Exactly.  He was joking earlier about doing like pirates did and carrying trunks of treasure."

"Put it in a few of those bags and make sure they don't get damaged," he complained, shaking his head.  "Or back in that demon bank he was talking about," he offered quietly.

"Perhaps. Or an off-shore account might work," Horatio admitted. "I'm worried his license will disappear next, Frank."

"That might be practical though.  The kid's driver could be a bodyguard."

Horatio looked at him. "That's not a bad idea," he admitted, "but Xander would hate it.  You know how independent he is."

"Point."  He looked down when Xander stomped back inside.  "Doesn't look like a happy boy."

"I wouldn't be either."  The agent looked up at him and shrugged, but he walked off.  "I'm not sure I'm going to be either, Frank."  He looked over as Xander joined them.  "Can they fix it?"

"No.  He even tried having me given a new number.  The system ate that one.  He tried in the name on my second passport and it ate that one."

"Crap," Frank muttered.  Xander hugged him.  "So, what're they going to do?"

"Talk to the bank for me.  She knows but she's worried.  Steve's worried.  I'm worried."

"Get one from another country?" Horatio suggested. He smirked at him.  "I'm sure someone you know can insert you into Britain's system?"

"Maybe."  He sucked on his bottom lip, continuing to hug Frank while the detective patted his head.  "Maybe that would work.  That would at least get me a passport and stuff again."

"It would," he agreed.  "We'd have to deal with Immigration but I'm sure someone would tell them."

"Plus I could travel the world.  Canadians aren't hated."

"They're not," Horatio agreed, smiling at him.  "Go to it, Xander."  Xander headed out at a run, catching the agent while he was making a report from his car, talking to him about that.  The agent made a few calls and nodded, making Xander smile and nod up at them.  "It appears that was a well liked idea."

Frank looked at him.  "What're you going to do if you keep going, Horatio?"

"We'll figure that out if and when I have to retire, Frank."  He smiled as he walked off, going to tell Danny what had been worked out.  It would make him happier too.

***

Xander walked into the house that night, looking at them.  "Well, it kinda almost fell through.  Their system won't accept me either.  So I told him I could get a fake passport that looked real enough and he decided it might be a good idea and they'd flag me in the system that I was real, but the computer doesn't accept me.  The bank stuff was worked out as long as other names are on there with mine.  Oh, and the Treasury twerp that came down about Mr. Blackmail is not a happy camper with me.  Apparently he was siphoning off accounts to afford my presents.  I told him I sent them all back."

"So he was keeping the money?" Don asked.  Xander nodded and sat beside him to cuddle him. "It'll be okay, Xander.  I promise.  It'll all be worked out."

"My new demon admirer said that it was someone making amends."

"I heard that.  It'll be okay," he promised, kissing him on the head.

"Can we go spank her?"

"No," Danny said.  "If we could I'd let you and Cordy do that."  He grinned at him.  "Where is she?"

"On the ship basking by the pool for the day.  Aiden too."

"That's fine."  He put a kiss on the top of Xander's head.  "So, new documents?"

"Maybe.  All I really need is a new passport and my old one may work."

"It may," Don agreed. "We'll have to wait and see."  He gave him a cuddle.

Greg came out of the study with a book in front of his face but he stopped to give Xander a kiss on the head too.  "It'll be fixed, Xander, I promise."  He sat down at the breakfast bar.  "Danny, what's for dinner?"

"Nothin' if you don't put down the book," he ordered.  Greg looked at him and grinned.  "Really."  Greg marked his spot and put it down, getting his plate instead.  He put down the others and Xander grinned at him.  "Good boy.  We'll deal with it, Xander."

"I know but it sucks that she's doing it to me again while saying she's making amends."

"Maybe we'll go to Brazil and live with Junior," Don teased.

"Maybe," he agreed, digging into his grilled sandwich.  He could use his shopping buddy back. He was nearly ready to pout without having him.  Cordy wasn't the same.  Ray liked his style.  Cordy snarked.  It wasn't the same and it wasn't as happy-making for him.  Though, introducing Cordy to his favorite madam had been very amusing.  He didn't know she could squeak like Willow used to.  Especially after he went over some more of the dance lessons with them.

***

Two days later, Horatio looked out as Frank came *running* up the halls.  "What did he do?" he asked patiently.

"Not him, Cordelia Chase just got arrested.  She was thumping some guy on the street and threatened them with Xander-ing them.  Then she kicked his ass and the ass of the officer who was trying to pull her off him."

"Pity.  What did he do?"

"Tried to cop a feel.  She's not GHS, right?"

Horatio moaned and walked off.  "Sometimes it can be transferred over, Frank.  Thank you."  He found where she was sitting and sulking.  "Cordelia."

"I'm not going to let some would-be rapist get me without kicking his ass," she defended.  "I'm not like some helpless girl!"

"No, you're not," he agreed.  He went to talk to the officer, who had a few bruises.  "What happened?"

"As she was kicking my butt for stopping her she was ranting about me stopping her from beating the guy she claimed tried to attack her, Lieutenant."

"What did he say?"

"A lot of gurgles as the paramedics took him away, sir."

"She did learn with Mr. Harris."

"She one of them?"  Horatio shook his head. "You sure?"

"That's his ex-girlfriend from high school."

"Huh.  He likes 'em feisty.  No wonder he's got Messer now," he muttered, shaking his head quickly to banish the mental images.  "We're not charging her yet, sir.  We're waiting to see what the guy in the hospital says and if he's pressing charges.  My boss didn't want me to press charges against her if he didn't.  Thought she might be a bit unhinged."

"Miss Chase works with a PI out in LA," he admitted quietly. "She's had to defend herself and others before.  Also in high school she helped Mr. Harris with his hunting."

"Huh.  So he *really* likes 'em feisty and cute.  Sure.  As soon as I know, you will, sir."

"Thank you."  He went back to where Cordelia was. "It's not nice to hurt the officer who's trying to help you, Cordelia."

"He was trying to stop me from kicking the guys' ass!"

"It's still not nice to hit him too.  He is an officer."

"So!"

"Fine.  We'll talk when you're calmer."

"I'm perfectly calm now," she said, glaring at him.  "He was trying to stop me from defending myself.  He's damn lucky I didn't have my crossbow or axe on me!"

"Yes, he is," he agreed calmly.  Xander stomped in and Cordelia gave him a sheepish look.  "Calm down, Xander."

"You calm down!  She was attacked and had to kick his ass herself!  Poor baby, did it ruin your nails?"

"And my hair," she pouted, giving him a look.  "He expected me to just give up and squeal in joy at the officer showing up," she said bitterly.

"I thought it was cute how you'd kick someone's ass until they saw you and then you'd walk over them and said 'he tripped and he's very sorry' then go on to fuss over your nails."  He gave her a hug.  "Don't worry, I'll bail you out if I have to."

"Thank you, Xander."  She snuggled into his arms.  "You're a very good Princess of Gaydom."

"Who the IRS says still doesn't exist.  I'll have to start carrying around pirate's chests of money and jewels."

She looked at him, then smacked him on the forehead. "That gave me images I don't want, Xander.  Ewww!  Gay pirates!"  She rubbed her eyes.  "Horatio, make him stop!"

"Xander, that's not an idea any of us like," Horatio said, just getting a shit-eating grin back in return.  "Behave, Xander. This isn't the lab."

"Yes, Horatio.  I'll quit being so cute in front of the other officers."  He went back to cuddling her and calming her down.  "It's all right, honey.  You're the big, butch lesbian- like woman we all knew and loved as a cheerleader."

"I'm very straight, thank you, Princess Gay!"

"I said lesbian-like, dear, not a real lesbian."

"Real women can be tough," she sniffed, looking at her nails again.  "See, I even ripped one of the fake ones off."

"We'll get it fixed," he promised, calming her down.  "Even if what I heard when I came in sounded like you should be wearing plaid."

She smacked him again.  "That's two, Mister.  At three I'm spanking for real and calling your ex."

"Anya's not going to come this time, sweetie.  You're not a woman scorned that special way."

"You're definitely scorning me anyway," she complained. "Fine, I'll tell Angel."

"What's King Hair Gel going to do?  Come brood at me?  Shit, woman, I'll make him beg too," he assured her.

Horatio turned to hide his smile, finding some other officers grinning too.  "She's his ex."

"Obviously," one agreed.  Another officer came in.  "Guy at the hospital?"

"Isn't pressing charges.  He didn't want to take her wallet ever again."

"You don't pickpocket by going for the rear crotch grope," Cordy said bitterly.

"Not your case, ma'am.  Another one where an officer almost got pickpocketed off duty."

"Oh.  Pity.  She kick his ass too?"  He nodded.  "Then why is it so wrong that I did it?"

"Next time, let me come and help with the fun," he complained.  "Call while you're kicking his ass so I can cheer."

Cordelia dragged Xander over, spanking him as best she could.  "I.  Did.  Not.  Need.  That.  Image.  Xander!"  Horatio took him from her.  "Stop him, Horatio!  Before I get more icky mental images and I need drugs!"

"Xander," Horatio said mildly, staring at him.  He got grinned at again.  "You're very good at taking her mind off what happened.  But enough.  Sit and cuddle her."  He let him go and watched as Xander went back to cuddling and cooing at her.  "Thank you."  He looked at the bruised officer, who walked off laughing. "You'll let me know?"

"I will, sir."

The boss came out and saw Xander, whimpering. "Please tell me we didn't arrest him with that brothel again?" he demanded.

Xander gave him a sheepish look. "I was only taking dance lessons."

"I don't care!  What are you doing in my precinct!"

"This is my ex Cordy.  She had to beat the guy who tried to grope her."

"And the officer who tried to pull her off," Horatio told him.

Xander looked at her, then at Horatio.  "Maybe she should go to the academy?  Since she's clearly a very strong woman, like Aiden is."

Horatio shuddered at that.  "Xander, I know your hormones are up since you're giving us all very bad mental images.  Just sit there and be quiet," he ordered.  He looked at the Sergeant again, getting a horrified look. "She's his ex.  He helped her learn self defense."

"I learned how to do the kicking and beating until someone comes and then looking calm and helpless thing off her," Xander said proudly.

She patted him on the head.   "Too bad you couldn't learn fashion off me.  You'd look better."

"I let the salesmen dress me."

"Obviously, dear.  Obviously.  I'm *so* going through your closet today."

"You're not touching my haiwaiian shirts," he said, glaring at her.  "Or else I'm sending my current paramour out to redo your closet."  She whimpered and slunk down at that.  "But you can put outfits together as long as you don't touch them."  She smiled and hugged him.  "And no, you can't cut my hair."

"Are you sure?  I mean, everyone in the city knows you're gay, sweetie, just by seeing the hair."

"I look very hot on my stallion."

"I've seen you sitting on your boyfriend.  You're cute that way."

"I meant my horse, Cordy."

"You own a horse?"  He beamed and nodded.  "WHY!"

"Because I like to ride.  Ryan taught me."

"He did," Horatio agreed.  "Officer Wolfe also has his own horses."  He looked at the confused looking sergeant again.  "They were a present since he was watching Xander when they wanted him."

"Oh.  Interesting.  I guess that's why my guy got a lunch he never ordered when he protected your boy there when we accidentally arrested him for taking dance lessons?"

Xander looked over.  "No, that was me.  My paramour is more the chocolate and roses sort."  He went back to showing Cordy pictures from his wallet.  "That's me on my horse.  And that's Danny beside me of course."  He flipped over. "Those are Ryan's mares and their foals.  Aren't they adorable!"  He grinned at her.  "It's like a little herd."

"Awww.  I'm feeling warm and fuzzy thoughts for the first time since I was six.  What's this one?"

"That's an adoption horse.  He was being kept by some really mean and nasty people, like my parents mean and nasty, so we adopted him when the ASPCA took him from them and spanked them."  He pointed at an older picture.  "That's him when we first got him.  He had whip cuts.  Willow's stuff worked on that too."

"Cool.  It works great on some of mine too.  I mean, seriously!  I had plant whip marks and they healed right up with that stuff.  If she wasn't evil now, she could make tons selling that stuff. I didn't even scar!"

"It cleared his up too and he didn't scar that bad either.  I had someone make more from her recipe since mine didn't quite turn out weak enough.  But it works well to draw out infection.  I gave the ASPCA a tube of it to try in their hospital ward and they've used it too."  He grinned.  "Oooh, look at the babies," he said, pointing at the foals.  "They're both mares and the little fella loves 'em too.  He noses them to move them and nibbles on their manes for them when they have the itchies and everything.  It's such a cute herd."

"Your whole family is a cute herd," she said, patting him on the hand.

"According to the protocol for the people that keep wanting me, they're my harem."  He grinned.  "That's why Ryan got lunch the other day.  By now they consider you my harem too."

"Yay me.  If I knew then what I know now I would've done more than share kisses in those closets, Xander.  I would've tied you down and there wouldn't have been any problems in Sunnydale."  She gave him a look.  "Behave. You're making Horatio blush."

"Sorry, Horatio."  He hugged him then went back to cuddling Cordy.  "You don't think I could be a male cheerleader?"

"With your hair, they'd make you wear the skirt and pompoms, Xander."  She noticed how many guys moaned and shuddered.  "A pair of falsies and a tight sweater help that any?" she offered.  Most of them walked off to go shudder in private and get away from those two.  "Hey, better than the ones I got of him in pirate gear!" she called after them.

"I look cute in leather."

"You do look very good in leather, Xander, but still!"

"Fine."  He put his wallet into Horatio's pocket.  "For Don's desk.  Just in case something happens.  I had to get the ID renewed."  The beaten officer came over and he cooed, getting up to get him an ice pack, coming out to baby him. At the very least it would make up for Cordy beating him and he knew how much those sort of injuries hurt.

Horatio looked at Cordelia.  "Next time call Ryan or myself, Cordelia."

"I didn't call him.  I don't know who did," she said quietly, shrugging a bit.  "Don't ask me, Horatio.  I didn't call you guys."

"Frank told me."

"Frank's a cutie but his wife's gotta be tired of his good boy look when he's being naughty," Xander offered.  He grinned at them.  "Ray called me and told Frank."  He went back to babying the poor officer.

She sighed as she watched him.  "You can't adopt another one into the herd, Xander.  Really!"

"He needs it, bruises like that hurt," he complained, frowning at her. "I got you plenty of ice packs, Queen Cranky."

"Please!  The 'c' in Queen C was not for Cranky, Princess."  She rolled her eyes.  "Xander, you're going to make the other nice officers pick on him because you're babying him."

"No I'm not.  They'd never do that.  Would they?" he asked, glaring at them.  They all shook their heads.  He beamed. "See?"

She patted him.  "Are we maybe feeling a bit bipolar, Xander?" she asked, talking down to him.

He swatted her on the head.  "No, bitchy, I'm not."  He went back to treating him, even going out to the car to come back with some of the cream he used on his own bruises when he got them.

The sergeant looked at Horatio and nodded at the door.  "She can go," he mouthed. "He won't be pressing charges."

"Thank you.  Cordelia, you're free to go.  Why don't you take Xander out for some ice cream?"

"I need to get my nails fixed."

"He can go with you. A manicure is a nice thing that feels good," he offered.  Xander pouted and handed him the tube.  "I'll make sure he uses some," he promised.  Xander nodded and walked out with her, taking her out to go do something more fun and protect her.  He handed it to the officer.  "He'll know if you don't and it does help the swelling go down."

"Thank you, Lieutenant."  He used some on the worst bruises and handed it back.  "Have fun with them."

"Often," he sighed, walking out to the hummer and heading back to the office.  Those two were worse than just Xander alone.  He found Frank and Ray watching for him.  "She's not in trouble and they gave a whole room bad thoughts," he said as he walked past them, handing Ray the tube.  "She's going to get her nails fixed."

"What happened?" Frank called.

"Some unkind gentleman decided to grope her so she beat him and the officer for trying to pull her off him," Horatio called as he headed inside.  He needed to have a talk with Danny about Xander's bad mental images problem and get Speed to take them out of his head.  Unfortunately they were both on a new scene.  So he had to suffer for a few minutes.

***

Don came home and looked at the bags on the counter, then frowned.  "Xander, why did you buy out the fantasy costume shop?"

"Cordy made me."  He came out in harem pants.  "She said that it would make sure I'd never make her think about pirate Xander again."

Don squeezed his eyes shut.  "Take them off," he ordered calmly.  "It'll just be us tonight so run around naked if you want."

"Aiden's in the study."

"She won't care.  Aiden, you care?"

"If I see him with a cutlass and knee-high boots again I'm going to have to beat him," she called.  Xander stripped off there and went to play with the animals.  She came out of the study and picked up the pants, putting them back in the bag.  She came up with one costume and held it up.  "For him.  So he's not totally naked."

"That's a loincloth."

"Isn't it?"  She trudged out to her car.  It was too much for her poor, tired brain.  Advanced ballistics was one thing.  Naked and Bad Mental Image Xander was totally another one.  She heard Don on the way out.

"Hey, Xander, Aiden said you should wear this loincloth."

It only made it worse. Now she had Tarzan Xander in her head and it wouldn't go away no matter what else she thought of.  She drove to Eric's place, interrupting their dinner to crawl into his lap.  "Please take these images out of my head before I have a stroke," she begged, giving him a pitiful look.  "I've got pirate Xander and nurse Xander and cheerleader Xander and tarzan Xander plus other Xanders all stuck in my head and it won't go away."

Eric kissed her and took her into the bedroom to help her take a nap.  "I'll be right back, Ryan."

"Sure."  He called over there.  "Don, the handcuffs Greg bought are in your top dresser drawer, the one you don't use.  They're very soft and will keep Xander tied down to the bed all night so you can make him better.  No, she's begging for mercy.  Eric.  Thanks.  No, if you need to I'm sure Horatio will understand if you two have to call off tomorrow."  He hung up and went back to eating.  Tarzan Xander....  That was a very ....interesting mental image.  He ate a bite of food and thought about it while he chewed.  He could almost see Xander in the buttflap outfit.  Swinging on a vine.  Curled up with a lion to talk to it.  No, that was George of the Jungle but he did make a cute one.  Maybe the next time they were together he could get Xander to watch it with him.  Then have some fun.  Aiden squealed and Eric came back out.  "You know, I think he'd make a better George of the Jungle instead of Tarzan."  Eric moaned and took his dinner back to the bedroom to eat next to Aiden in case she woke up.  That way he could wear them both out again and he could sleep off that mental image too.

Strife appeared.  "Is it contagious?  First Speed becomes one'a mine and then you?"  He tested his forehead.  "Maybe it is a sickness. Oh well, I'm having fun so let me know."  He disappeared again.

Ryan beamed and went back to eating before his evening devotional to Ares and then his solo katas.  At least Eric wouldn't be interrupting him for sex tonight.

***

Frank Tripp looked up as everyone dragged in. "Wild night with the kid?" he teased Don.

Don handed over the pictures Xander had taken of himself then he went to his desk to put his head down.  He needed a short nap and his desk was private enough for now.

Frank looked at the pictures and whimpered, but it was Xander.  He gave them to Cordelia when she came in to hand Horatio her weekly report on what she and Xander had done.  She stomped off to spank the boy.  That worked out really well!  He could enjoy having her in his city if they kept Xander!  It was a cute thing.  Horatio gave his grinning face a look.  "I gave Cordelia the pictures Don handed me of Xander in various costumes.  Is he deciding on halloween now?"

"Don't ask, Frank.  Just don't ask."  He went to take some more tylenol for his headache and not remember how Xander had sent a whole precinct out to drink the night before.  Because if he did, he'd call off sick for the day and go back to bed with Speed.  He read Cordelia's report and went anyway.  Enough of it was in there that he now had a migraine with those mental images.  He definitely didn't want to see Tarzan Xander.  Let Ryan handle him.  Then again, when he passed Ryan to hand him that report he had been muttering about George of the Jungle Xander.  So maybe he couldn't handle him either.  Maybe another short vacation for Xander, with Greg?  Because the rest of them definitely needed a vacation from Xander already.  Then again, Frank was grinning about it....  Maybe Xander and Frank should take the next trip together.  No, then he'd have to see Frank with a sword.  Not an image he wanted.  They'd have to find someone to take some of Xander's attention again before it got worse!  He finally got home and stripped on his way upstairs, crawling back into bed and into his mate's arms.

"W'as wrong?" Speed mumbled.

"George of the Jungle Xander."

Speed patted him.  "He'll want to travel again soon.  Then you'll be sane."  He curled protectively around his husband.  He clearly needed the protecting.  Though, now he couldn't get that image out of his head....

Hello Hell-A

NC-17

Xander looked up from his reading when Cordelia came in, looking very unhappy.  "What's going on?"

"Angel's back and Wes is saying it's time to go home."

"When do they need you?"

"Probably within a few days.  Why?"

"I could go out there and shop."

"You could," she agreed, "but wouldn't Greg mind?"

"Greg's been busy."  He sat up and she blushed and turned away.  "What?  I'm wearing underwear."

"A thong does not count, Xander."  She did peek and saw him smirking at her.  "Fine, it's a nice little sex toy but it's still tinier than some things."

"Yeah, but not too many guys can say they earned 11 million profit in six weeks by selling their asses," he said dryly.  She gaped and he smirked.  "I was finding myself."

"So I heard."  She shook her head quickly.  "How were you thinking about getting me out there?"

"Did they want to get the plane tickets?"

"Wes said Angel was going to if I wasn't back when he was.  Then again, Wes said hi."

Xander grinned.  "We could go show them what you did down here."  She gave him a horrified look.  "What?"

"My poor city.   You used to like LA."

"Yeah but then Angel moved there."

She burst out laughing.  "You're joking, right?"  He slowly shook his head.  "Please say you're joking?"  She heard the door slam.  "Someone come back me up here?  Please?"  Eric came in.  "He wants to go back to LA with me for a few days to show them what we did here."

Eric looked at her, then at Xander, seeing the naughty look on his face.  "Well...."  He considered it.  "It'd be a good vacation.  I mean, he hasn't seen any of your mutual friends out there in a while, right?"  Xander shook his head with a grin that usually made Ryan start to pray while he sharpened his sword.  "Then I think it'd be a great idea for Xander to go visit his friends out there."  Cordy gave him the most evil look ever.  He shrugged.  "He could use a vacation.  He could even stop in to see Jace on the way back for a day or so."

"From what!  He doesn't do anything!"

"Meany," Xander pouted.  "There's some GHS out there I can go talk to and Greg wanted to take some allergy samples plus some other herbal samples.  He can do that out there.  After all, LA is the capitol of the cranks who use herbs club."

She blinked.  "That's still mean to my city, Xander!  You used to like LA!"

"Yeah but then I saw New York and New York's better," he said happily.  "And Miami's prettier.  Less fake parts, barely but still less."

She whimpered. "Eric, please!"

"Cordy, it'll be all right.  Maybe he'll give you one last day of spoiling out there."  She gave him another murderous look and he backed away again.  "I still think it'll do him good."

"See?" Xander said proudly.  He went to pack a small bag, including money and loose jewels, then he came back out.  "Come on, Cordy, go pack.  We'll go tonight since they need you so much."

"What about Greg?"

"I'll bring him back samples of anything he wants."

"No, Xander," Eric said firmly.  "You know the rules. You do not go alone anywhere.  Especially places that have demons."

"But I'll be fine and I put my sword in the bag."

Eric looked at the bag then at him.  "I want your promise, on your soul, that you'll be good.  No teasing the demons or anything!"

"Yes, Eric," he sighed, giving him a hug and a kiss, stunning his mind.  By the time Eric woke up, they were gone to pack up Cordy's stuff.  He got them onto the next flight to LA once they made it to the airport and headed out that way, landing about ten that night.  He sighed and smiled, grinning at her.  "Hotel for me or can I have your couch?"

"My neighbors are all old women, Xander.  Go find a hotel so you can pack it full of stuff to send to Greg for his herbalism tests."  Xander beamed and caught an airport shuttle, dragging her with him.  "I have an apartment."

"You heard Eric."  She moaned.  "Just for tonight and tomorrow?  Then I'll drop you off?"

"Only if you promise you're heading back here right after you drop me off!" she demanded.  He beamed and got them onto an airport shuttle for downtown, letting it take them down there.  It was cheaper than a cab and much more comfortable, plus it played music this time of night since it was only them and the driver.  He got them checked in easily enough and led her upstairs by the wrist, making the receptionist smile and wave at the cuteness since he had said she was his bodyguard and pseudo-mommy.  He got her settled in on her bed then went to find a paper and a shopping guide so he could figure out where he was going the next day.

***

Danny walked in and paused, then panicked.  "Where's Xander!" he called as he headed for the office.

"I don't know, call the others," Don called, heading into the bedroom.  The dogs were on the bed.  That wasn't really a great sign since the corvette was still there.  "Damn it, there's clothes missing!"

Danny leaned in.  "I called Ryan first and he asked Eric since they're at home.  Eric said he allowed Xander to escort Cordelia back to LA."  Don winced and shuddered.  "Alone."

"So, Ryan's swearing prayers at Ares and Strife?"

"Um, yeah.  Loudly."  He walked in and hugged him.  "It'll be okay.  He can't really destroy LA.  Angel would stop him."

"This is the same guy who used ta date Buffy?"

"Well...."

"The vampire guy, right?"

"Never mind," he sighed, calling Xander's cellphone but getting his voicemail.  "Yup, he switched it.  They're heading to LA so he can drop Cordy off and pick up stuff for Greg."  Greg came in looking confused.  "He's dropping Cordy off and picking you up stuff?"

"He is?"

"Uh-huh.  Good ta know.  He is."

"Okay.  I'm doing a general test on most herbal stuff and he knows that."  He sat down on the foot of the bed and took off his sneakers, allowing them to hug him.  "It'll be okay.  Remember, Xander grew up near LA."

"True.  He did.  Plus he knows that Angel guy."  They all shared a look and shuddered.  At least Cordelia was there....

***

Xander squealed in delight when he walked into the upscale shop, making Cordelia shake her head.  "You'd think you didn't have places like this in Miami that you visit monthly," she complained.  The saleswoman gave her an odd look.  "He's GHS."

"Ah.  We've heard rumors about their sort."  She went to help him find whatever soft and cuddly things he wanted, and then the wardrobe he was apparently buying his friend, which made her smile.  She did work on commission.  And he was paying cash.  She waved and smiled as they walked out together, putting the bags in the trunk of a rental car.  Then she drug him off to get something to eat from a fast food vendor.  Apparently he needed food quickly and she wasn't going to be too picky this time.

Cordelia got Xander back into the car with only three more stops after a snack, making him take her back to her apartment.  Then to the Hyperion, where the rest of the gang was.  Because she needed backup.  She realized that now.  She walked in shaking her head.

"Cordelia!" Gunn shouted, giving her a hug and a grin.  "You're back?"

"I am and I brought Xander for a very short vacation type thing, so I need help.  Wes!" she called pitifully.  He came out of the kitchen giving her a look.  "Xander's in the car."

"Oh, good.  I haven't seen him in ages," he said happily, going to get the boy.  "Xander!"  He got out and hugged him and Wesley noticed the difference. "My dear boy.  How have you been?"

"Very good since my second road trip," he said happily, beaming at him.  "I'm a member of GHS and all that good stuff."  Wesley blushed. "Is she still complaining about me?"

"Probably.  Gunn's a bit...harsh now and then.  He's had an underclass upbringing much closer to your original one.  You two might get along rather well though.  So, what are you doing out here?"

"Oh, Greggy's doing herbal studies for the GHS research panel and Cordy needed to be dropped off so I brought her," he said, following him inside.  He nodded politely at the other guy.  "Hi, I'm Xander.  I used to date that woman."

Gunn smirked.  "You're a stronger man than I am."

"Yes I am, as my three boyfriends prove," he agreed happily, shaking his hand.  Gunn looked stunned.

"Oh, please, let's not start on the sex stuff?" Cordy pleaded.  "Can't you go a *day*?"

"Well, if he is a member of GHS that might be impossible," Wesley explained.

She gave him a look.  "I had to listen to him go off four times last night, Wes, plus I got to see up close and personal how he pounced his boyfriends.  Plural, thank you, because he's got three, and then three helpers who sub in when they're exhausted."  She smiled sweetly at Xander since Wes was blushing.  "Now, we're going to calm down so I can rest, right?  Nap time?"

"I'm not tired and I have to go herb shopping for Greggy."

"Go later."

"The good shop closes at five."  He pouted at her and watched her cave with a moan of complaint.  "I promise I'll be a good boy."

"You haven't been a good boy since you met Buffy," she complained.

"Yes I was."  He pouted worse and she felt miserable.  Like clubbing herself in the head miserable.  "I'll be extra specially good."

"If it was dark, we could send Angel with you," Gunn offered.  "What sort of herbs were you looking for?  Mojo herbs or just general herbs?"

"Actually I should probably get him both.  He's doing herb and allergy studies for the GHS research panel."  He beamed.  "My Greggy's brilliant."

"I'm sure he is," he agreed.

"He's a former CSI."

"Then I'm very sure he is," Gunn agreed.  Wesley smiled.  "You might be able to talk Wes into going with you.  He hasn't been out recently."

"Guys, I spent over a year in New York.  I can handle LA by myself.  Really.  I'll be fine.  I promise I won't be kidnaped, Cordy.  I'll be a good Xander."

"A good Xander is still an evil boy who makes good boys like Horatio and Frank need naps," she countered.  "Even ones they had to call off work for!"

"I'm not.  I haven't been *evil* in months," he said with a sweet smile that made her shudder.  "Not since you had to take on that cop who was trying to stop you from beating that guy who tried to grope you."

"Point," she sighed. "Can't you wait?  I'm shopped out."

"I can do it."

"I'm under orders from Horatio and Speed, plus your three, plus Ryan, not to let you out alone, Xander.  You might enslave LA and then we'd have to deal with the law firm for hell about you."

"They can't have me either," he said happily, smiling and hugging Wes, then Gunn, then dancing out.

"Chase him!  Chase him now!" she ordered, pointing.  The guys went after him.  She flopped down on a couch and covered her face with her arm.  It was too much work watching Xander.  Give her an apocalypse any day!  They came back in, having lost the boy.  She glared at them and they backed off.  "He's a level ten GHS, boys.  He can enslave the city and that stupid law firm."  Wesley moaned and went to the office to start calling people to watch out for Xander for them while Gunn followed to ask what a GHS was.  He came out blushing as bright as his dark skin would let him.  Including onto his bald head.  "Exactly.  I spent the last few months watching over Xander.  Keeping him from being kidnaped.  Keeping him from shopping himself poor.  All that good stuff.  For my vacation!"

"What did he pay you?" Gunn asked.

"About twenty grand in new clothes and shoes, plus three more gift certificates."  He gave her an odd look.  "I had to try to fix it.  You saw his hair!"

"I did, and I'm sure plenty of people like his hair for many reasons.  Not that I'd know about that stuff."  He walked off, going up to his room to hide for a bit.  Before he had more thoughts he didn't want.

Cordelia stayed limp on the couch.  She'd call Miami if there was a problem.  If not, Don or Danny would be checking on him soon and would yell that he was alone.  She fell asleep right there dreaming about Xander taking over LA and becoming the Princess of LA.  The guys in West Hollywood would bow down to him now that she had fixed his wardrobe issues again.

***

Angel walked into the bar that he had been called to, getting pointed at a back room.  He walked that way, nodding at the demon in there.  "What's wrong?  Another rampaging higher elemental?"

"No.  A GHS member who pouts."  He pointed at the boy frozen in the corner.  "It was mean of you to sic him on that law firm, Angel.  Too mean for a supposed warrior of the light."  He stared him down and Angel shrugged. "You didn't?"

Angel looked again.  "Harris?"

"Yes, him!"  He stomped a foot.  "He nearly enslaved the entire demon bazaar!  Control him!"  He stomped out after freeing Xander.

Xander shook his head.  "Deadboy!" he said cheerfully.  He looked around.  "Where's my stuff!  Greggy needs that!"

"It was sent to the office," someone called from the other room.  "Please, Angel!"

"Xander, what are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm a level ten GHS.  I'm being happy and normal, Angel.  What are you doing?"

"Apparently I'm taking you back to the Hyperion."

"I have a hotel room and a rental car.  I really do need to find the rental car.  It's got other stuff for Greggy."

"We can do that," he agreed, walking him out, quickly since a few of them looked like they wanted to pounce.  "What is wrong with you?  Who cast the attraction spell this time?"  He wasn't about to admit it was hitting him as well, even though he felt the intense need to stroke his fingers through Xander's hair and show him how to put it up to befit his future childe.  Xander could replace Dru and Spike both.  He'd be a favored childe very quickly as long as he took to his lessons.

"With what I am combined with where I was born, I attract demons and humans, Angel.  That's all part of being me."  He grinned and headed for Angel's car.  "This one still?"

"Yes," he ground out, following him.  He would be getting some straight answers.  Even if he had to beat the boy this time.  He got them back to the hotel and inside, letting him pounce Cordelia and babble at her.  "Now, I would like some answers."

Cordelia looked at him.  Then she shrugged.  "GHS, or members of the GHS society, have a pheromone and hormone condition that sends theirs out of control," she said. "Or so I was taught by the nice cops down in Miami who watch over Xander and his attraction problem.  Since Xander was born on the hellmouth he attracts demons and humans.  What did he do this time so I can report it?"

"All I was doing was squealing over some new herbs I know Greggy hasn't seen before," he pouted.

"Where?" she asked.

"The demon bazaar Willow used to send me to for magic stuff.  Oooh, and I got a new book too," he said proudly.  "On the portal stuff."

"Congrats."  She spanked him.  "Be a better boy, Xander, before I have to wake Horatio up."

"Ow," he pouted, rubbing his ass.  "I was being good!  I didn't hormone anyone on purpose. It was those stupid lawyers.  They came up and demanded I come with them.  Even when I told them no.  Even when I killed two who were vampires.  Even when I snubbed another one and had my current suitor come down to make him go away."  He pouted.  "I tried."

"I know you did," she sighed, going back to cuddling him.  "Please tell me you're not backlogging already?"

"Nope.  I'm a good boy."

"I'm glad you think so."  Angel gave her a furious look.  "Go ask Wes.  He explained it to Gunn earlier."  He stomped that way and came out very pale a few minutes later.  Then he went upstairs shaking his had.  "Did they send Xander's stuff, Wes?"

"They did, Cordelia.  As well as his rental car.  They're all together out in the parking area," Wes called from the office.  "Xander?"  He came in, looking at him.  "Good boy.  Go back to your hotel room and have phone sex with your boyfriends," he said, smiling at him.  "Tell them about the law firm just in case but it shouldn't be too much of a problem since you're leaving soon."  Xander nodded, bouncing out to go do that.  He put his head down, shaking it.  Cordelia came in, clearing her throat.  "He needs to wear it out again."

"I'm not sleeping with him, Wesley, and all the others are on the other coast."

"Then we'll have to do what we can.  When is he going back?"

"He didn't buy a return ticket yet."

"That's fine.  He should nearly be done with his shopping.  Hopefully."

She stared at him.  "He drug me to Armani and another suit place six times in one week trying to decide on Don and Danny's birthday presents," she said blandly.  "That's all he does in Miami.  That and spoil the crime lab staff with lunches and things."  She turned and stomped off again, going back to her nap.  Just that little exposure to Xander had worn her out again.  "You can come out of hiding, he's gone," she bellowed.  Gunn and Angel both came out of hiding and went to talk to Wes about what they could do to protect the city and Angel from Xander.  Because if he whammied Wolfram and Hart that badly, he could do some serious damage to Angel.

***

Xander snuck into the demon bar, finding a demon he kind of knew waiting on him.  "Hi.  I promise I'm peaceful."

"That's not what I heard."

"No, that was me needing to wear things out."

"Exsqueeze me?" The Host asked.  "Explanations needed, bright boy."

"I'm Xander.  Buffy's former friend Xander."  That got a slow nod.  "And a level ten GHS."

"Oh, holy mother of music," he moaned.  "You're attuned to demons?"

"Not totally.  Apparently I was for a little while.  I was on a road trip to find myself and I let myself work at a demon brothel."

"I heard, kiddo.  I heard."  He clapped him on the shoulder.  "You shouldn't be in here.  You're still broadcasting or however.  It's going to get back to the wrong people, Xander."

"It probably already has.  There's some skanky lawyer who keeps calling my room.  I heard this was a haven of safety and I wanted safety."

"You can't go to Angel?"

"I hate Angel.  I want to stake Angel.  I want to beat his ass first and then stake him multiple times until I hit it perfectly."  The Host gaped.  "Sorry but I'm not so sure he didn't help Buffy and Willow try me in New York and then again in Miami."

"I don't know one way or another, Xander.  Come on, I've got a private room for the more harmful demons."  He walked him that way, glaring at a few who tried to touch him. "He's here for sanctuary from lawyers."   He walked him into the special room and sat him down, patting him on the head.  "Do you drink?"

"Hardly ever."

"Wine?"

"S'good.  Or Kruth.  I had some of that one of the times someone had me.  It tasted like cherry seven-up."  That got a smile and he went to get some for him, handing him a twenty when he came back. "I know the stuff's expensive."

"Not that much."

"Yes it is.  I tried to buy some in Miami."

"We have a more direct source out here.  We'd have to ship it there."

"It was still over two grand for a tiny bottle."

"Point."   He took it anyway and went back to listening to people sing to see who he needed to intervene in the future for. Plus he set a bouncer on the doorway up there just in case the boy started to broadcast or whatever again.  He saw one of the law firm's people come in and glared at him.  "This is a safe place for all."

"I'm one of the all," he said smartly.  "Is Mr. Harris here?"

"He wished not to be disturbed."

"I don't wish to disturb him."  He walked around him and headed for the private room.  He also ignored some growls.  He found the boy and a few higher elemental demons in there, nodding politely.  "May I speak with the human?"

"No," they agreed.

"You foul our air.  Out, mortal," one sneered.

"Our boy is not for you," another agreed, glaring at him.  "The Metharn who adopted him would be *most* upset."  The lawyer backed up at that.

Xander looked at him.  "I thought we worked that out."

"You did but he doesn't want such scum near you."

"Neither do I.  Please leave me alone.  You and all the people at that law firm.  I don't need a law firm at my feet," he said patiently.

"Could you use a lawyer?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Very."  He sneered at him.  "I know several lawyers if I need advice, not that it often happens, and if I *truly* needed more help than that, I could charm some into being my willing love slaves who'd work for kisses.  I *certainly* do not want a law firm with such a tainted reputation representing me in anything.  After all, I've heard of you.  From Angel and other sources.  It says something when even the DPP hates you."  The lawyer blanched at that.  "Now, you're fouling their air.  Leave."  The lawyer turned and ran. "Hey, I didn't even have to pull my sword.  I'm impressed."  They all stared at him.  He moved his pants to show the markings on his hip.  "I can do that now."  They all moaned.  He grinned. "Be thankful Ryan's not with me.  He would've growled and pounced at the first no."  He sipped his drink. "You guys know I'm taken, right?"  They all nodded.  He beamed. "Thank you."

"Do you get many suitors?" the one who had mentioned his family asked.  Xander sighed and nodded.  "Why?"

Xander held out his wrist.  "Sniff, I took care of it earlier."  He sniffed him then moaned.  "I'm from Sunnydale."  That got a lot more moans.  "But I'm a good boy now and my harem is very strong and protective of me.  Even if one of them did say I could be out here without too much guarding.  Usually they'd send Ryan, who's a high priest of Ares, with me."  He finished his drink and put the glass aside, listening to the music.  "Ah, Karoake.  The sounds of chaos.  I've almost missed chaos."

"You cause chaos," one of them noted dryly.  "I've seen your suitors."

"Really?  Are they okay?"

"No, a few weren't. That monsoon demon was most upset."

"I told him no repeatedly.  When he castrated me I had no alternative but to fight back."

"True," he agreed dryly.  "Will we see you some year soon on the demon High Council?"

"I'm not demonic, I'm immortal.  Big difference."  They all gaped in horror and awe.  He beamed and nodded.  "Shocked the hell outta me too," he said proudly.  "But it does explain a few things."

That got some shudders and one whimper from the one who had mentioned his family.  He beamed at the host when he came in.  "They thought I was demonic."

"I thought you were part one of the sex demons too."  Xander shook his head.  "You're sure?"

"Tested numerous times, Lorne."  He beamed.  "Fully human, just immie."  Lorne whimpered.  "So I'll be GHS for a very long time."

Lorne sighed and looked at one.  "Doesn't your kind have magical means of screening him from being seen?"

"Yes, and one is using it on the IRS on his behalf."

"Which is causing hell and havoc in my life," Xander quipped.  "Please let me kick her ass?"

"I'll talk to her punisher, see if he'll allow it."  He reached over to sniff the boy's braid.  It was enough to make him moan and get off.  "Oh, no wonder!"

"And I'm still fully human," he said happily.  "As a matter of fact, I used to date Cordelia, Angel's helper."  He smiled at The Host.  "Are there more lawyers coming?"

"I hope not.  I hate it when they get eaten."  He patted the boy on the head.  "You should be in bed by now.  Beauty sleep and all that."

"I'm not tired. I can't sleep alone anymore."

He stroked over the bound braid.  "Tough, kiddo.  Time for beddie byes."  Xander sighed and got up, hugging him and whispering in his ear.  "I knew that but it's safer if you go now while he's reporting."

"I'll have your adoptive father ward your room, Xander.  Go rest," the one demon offered.  Xander nodded and headed to do that.  He called, growling something into his cellphone, then hung up.  "He'll be protected and guarded by the family.  Plus that problem with the IRS not seeing him will be fixed eventually."  The Host snickered.  "She made it so his social security number wouldn't take in the system, which would harm his bank funds."  That got a moan from everyone.  "Which means he'd have to sell some of the things he was given by his suitors, which would encourage more."

"Which would start another round of suicidal young males who wanted him and his harem," The Host finished, getting a nod.  "How big is his harem?"

"Him, his three direct boyfriends, Cordelia is one of his occasional ones, a helper instead of a lover. He has two occasional male lovers who are also helpers and a female.  Two advisors who are a mated pair.  One of his occasional ones just got given a princess and her entourage, and a priestess of Athena recently was taken under his protection.  Plus a few others that advise him frequently."  That got some smiles.  "Then again, the boy wears marks to Ares, Cupid, and Strife."

"He truly is one of Cupid's Burdens," another demon agreed heavily.  He nudged the one who had gotten off at the sniff of his hair.  "Was it good?"

"I can understand why that monsoon demon shamed his whole family to get him.  If I had the wealth to try to conquer him, I would gladly do the same.  Thankfully I'm too poor to enter into that madness so I must leave myself with quarth demons instead."  That got some happy nods, they liked their sex demons.  "Was he the one who worked for Devi?"  The Host nodded.  "Why?"

"He said he was finding himself on a road trip," he said blandly.  "Then Devi screwed him over from what I heard.  No pun intended."  They all smirked at that.  "Truly.  I heard he tried to use him as a sacrifice to someone wanting a tribute."

"I heard the same," the one demon connected with Xander's adopted one offered.  "He paid for it when Xander fixed it."  That got some smirks.  "He is truly gifted with his sword.  He has learned some sort of dances like the quarth demons do.  They include swordwork and he is very good from what I've heard.  They say his harem has a hard time with restraint when he dances for them."  That got some smirks.  "I would see it but I doubt he'd do it in front of us."

"That's why there's scrying spells," a demon in the corner said wisely.  They all perked up at that and went to see if they could scry the past and see him dancing.  The pools in the back for that got heavily used that night.  As did the quarth demons in the crowd and at the nearby demon brothel.

***

Horatio was called back to the reception desk and looked at the stack of fax she handed over.  "What's this?"

"It's from Cordelia.  I'm not sure.  It's a summary on a law firm and if those page numbers are correct, we're going to need a few cases of paper, Lieutenant."

"Let me call her."  He called out to LA.  "Cordelia," he said patiently.  "How many pages are you faxing us and why are you faxing them?"  He listened to her babbling about the law firm and how that page number was the full file, she was only sending the summary section, twenty-three pages.  "Why are you sending it to us?"  Her answer of 'they want Xander and they're evil' didn't cheer up his day any.  "You couldn't email it?"  He shook his head at the 'wesley did something so I can't'.  "Fine.  She said there'll be twenty-three pages total, Melinda.  Cordelia, call us back in about an hour and a half so we can conference in on this subject, all right?"  He hung up and took the rest once they quit spitting out, taking them to look over in his office.  Why did a law firm want Xander?  Frank leaned in.  "Cordelia sent information on a law firm."

"Why?  They want the kid?"

"Yes."

Frank moaned.  "I was just teasing, Horatio," he complained.

"Apparently they're demonic and very powerful forces against the sight of light," he said, looking at him.  "And they've now fixated on Xander being theirs."

"Probably as a weapon," he agreed dryly.  "And?"

"She sent the summary.  The full information file is over sixteen hundred pages long.  Melinda was worried about how long this fax was going to be."

"I'd be too!"  He came in to look it over, blinking at some things.  "You weren't kidding!"

"My sense of humor is much more dry than that, Frank.  Of course I wasn't."  Frank glared at him. He smiled.  Frank snorted and shook his head, going back to reading.  "I told her to call back in about an hour so she could brief us on this law firm before they became annoying."

"Too late," Frank said dryly, handing over a page he had skimmed twice.  "They tried ta take the boy, Horatio.  They're fond of him."  He handed the rest back and walked out.  "Let me know when she calls."

"I can do that."  He went back to reading.  Then he got a bright idea.  He called Ray Kowalski's boyfriend Adam.  "Adam, Horatio.  What do you know about Wolfram and Hart and why would they want Xander?"  The swearing, or so he assumed since it was in a language he had never heard before, was very high pitched and cranky sounding.  "The usual reasons or something more spectacular?"  He weathered another swearing bout.  "She'll be calling to brief us in an hour, Adam, get here."  He hung up on quieter swearing in a different language.  At least he had put his multiple centuries to good use learning other languages.

***

Xander woke up to a sign hanging next to his bed. //Go to Vegas, Xander.//

"Why?" he called quietly.  "I'm being good."

//Go to Vegas,// it flashed brighter.

"Right now?"

//Yes, right now,// it said.

"Like right now right now?  Or do I have time to shower and stuff?"

//Like get in the car and drive to Vegas.  You can shower when you show up.  Go now.//

"Why?"

//Two words, Sparky: Law Firm.//

"Oh, them.  But they're looking for innocence and I can't be that innocent anymore. I can even prove it.  I can send one of my former clients to them to prove it.  I was going to finish my shopping and go back tomorrow."

The handwriting changed, becoming more effeminate and scrollish. //Get dressed and get into the car, Xander.  Now.//

"Yes, Lord Ares," he sighed. "I just wanted to know why."  He got up and got dressed, using magic to braid his hair, then he packed everything in his endless bag and headed down to check out and then drive to Las Vegas.  He looked up once he had the car started.  "You know, someone's going to yell that I'm driving that far by myself.  Especially without a weapon.  What if the aliens come down and want to eat me?"

The sign appeared next to him. //They're not carnivorous and you'd enjoy the anal probes, Xander.  Go.  Now.//

"Yes, Lord Cupid."  He backed out of his spot and headed out, with a stop through somewhere for food and coffee.  It was a long drive.  He turned on the radio.  "What about Greggy's friends?  I can put everything into the bag and head out on a flight."

//They'd bring it down,// the sign flashed.

"Oh.  Okay."  He shrugged and sped up once he hit the interstate.  "Should I still send my former client there to make sure they know I'm not that pure?"

//Could help,// the sign flashed in Strife's handwriting. //Which one?// Xander imagined very hard and the sign burst into flames and giggles.

Xander used the rest of the weak coffee to put it out then dropped it out the window.  He was normally against littering but he didn't want to light the car on fire either.  He didn't want to pay for the car.  Besides, it could damage the bottomless bag he had.

***

The demon appeared in Angel's bedroom, looking at him.  "I love that boy."

"Which one?" he moaned, sitting up to look at him.  "How did you get in here?"

"Easily. You're still a vampire."  He smirked.  "Xander, who else?  Don't you love him?"

"No.  I don't," he said flatly.  "What errand are you running for him now?"

"Oh, I just destroyed Wolfram and Hart's ideas about using him as a source of innocence," he said with a bright, happy grin. "Didn't get either treat I wanted but he did promise to dance later so I could scry and capture it."  He faded out, heading back to his home plane.

Angel put his head down, then he sat up.  "Dance?" he asked, looking bemused.  "What dance?  Cordelia?  Dancing Xander?"

"Oh, God, the mental sex images," she moaned from up the hall.  "I don't need the images, please!"

Angel laid back down, frowning now.  That did not answer his questions.

***

Xander walked into Jace's resort and smiled at the guy behind the desk.  "The boss in?"

"She's in her office, Xander."

"Thanks."  He headed that way, leaning in.  "Hey, dear.  The big guys in leather sent me."

"Why this time?"

"Apparently the bad guy law firm is after me even though I'm not the innocent they think I am.  I got the floating sign treatment to get here from LA."

"That's fine, Xander.  We have some open rooms."

He grinned.  "Can I borrow somewhere to practice my dancing and swordwork?"

"Dancing?" she asked, blinking at him.  "Like that stuff you showed me the once?"

"Yeah, that.  It's got sword fighting and self defense built in."

"Think you could teach it?"

"Only some of the higher GHS have been able to do it.  Well, except for Greg, he can and he's only a level four, but I need to practice some of the harder and more energetic things.  The last time I did it at home the neighbors tried to invade."

"I've got a nice few rooms we use for yoga and things.  You can borrow one," she promised with a smile.  "What were you doing in LA?"

"Eric said I could drop off Cordy by myself," he said with a wicked grin.  He cackled and went to check in, then empty the rest of the car's contents into the bag.  Then he went to turn in the car rental, paying the penalty for having taken it out of the city.  He took a cab back with his bag and headed up to change into the spandex pants he had found.  He came bouncing down the stairs with his sword.  He waved at Jace when he walked past her.

"Xander, been working out?"

He smirked at her.  "Me?"  He beamed and went into the room the clerk showed him into.  He closed the door with a sweet smile and stretched out, feeling that someone was scrying him.  The door opened and he blinked at the man standing there.  "Who're you?"

"I'm David.  Greg's friend from the station," he said blandly.  "I heard you were in town."

"True.  I am."  He grinned.  "I'm working out but you can call Greggy.  He's got the house phone."

"He hasn't answered in two days."

"We gave him his own lab."  That got an eye roll.  "Sorry."  He walked over to the outgoing phone, hitting the number to go out.  Then he dialed Greg's phone, handing it over.  "There you go."  He beamed and danced off, starting off on one of the slower and more rhythmic sections to finish warming up.

David nearly dropped the phone.  "What is he doing?" he moaned.  He heard the voice laughing and growled at it.  "Greg!  Where are you?"  He listened to his explanation of what Xander was doing and how, shaking his head.  "So you're doing what in the labs?"  He smiled.  "Well, you could come home for a visit," he pointed out.  "I mean, the others wouldn't mind."  He pulled out his phone to capture video of it.  "So, can you do that?"  He gaped as Xander did ...something that made him bend backward while moving his stomach.  "It looks like an alien's coming out."  He listened and snorted.  "Xander, he said to quit doing that in front of me.  Do something from series three and the captivity series."

Xander shrugged. "Sure, but I'm going to do the more energetic stuff."  He did something and ended up back on his feet by flipping backwards to catch his sword and go into that.  He vaguely heard the groan and growl but kept going.  Finally he heard the door shut and made sure the phone was hung up.   Maybe Greg would let him have the tapes he had sent to him and Tony to teach them how to do the dances. He went back to it, getting a very good workout.  He noticed when Jace came in.  He also noticed when Ares lunged in with his own sword, blocking him with a wicked smirk.  Back and forth, even though he was tired and sweaty.  He ended up behind Ares a few times, resting against his back once to catch his breath.  Then again, Ares was growling at him.  He spanked him before moving and winked at Jace, blocking another blow and dancing off.  He flashed the God of War, then backflipped away from one of the blows, then shimmied closer, drawing his attention to his stomach muscles.  Then he stabbed at him, his sword ending up an inch from his chest hair.  "Hi, Ares," he purred.  "So, what do I get from you when I win?  Since you probably don't want to play with my hair like Ryan."

Ares growled and moved closer, kissing him hard.  "Tease."

"You bet."  He winked and smiled.  "But I'm being a good boy to my boys at home."

Ares smirked.  "Is that why someone showed Angel what we were doing?" he asked smugly.  He disappeared.

"Like I care?" he called.  "He can moan at my stomach muscles too.  He and Cordy can form a support group and everything."  He kissed Jace.  "I think he meant that one for you," he said to stop her pout.  He pulled her out, showing her how to move.  She moaned but went along with it, getting just as sweaty as he was.  Cupid came down, looking very interested.  Xander pulled Cupid over to show him and her, putting her between them.  He finally stole her from him and left Xander to change and go out to the clubs.  He ran into some people who believed they were hot and shrugged his way around them, heading out into the crowd to dance and party.  He caught a few people staring but what did he care?  He was young, pretty, happy, and modestly rich.  He was having fun!  One of the guys took his girl from him but he shrugged and went after someone else to dance with.  He headed back to the resort a few hours later, giggling as he ran up to his room so he could grab his things and head back home.  Surely Las Vegas had overnight flights to Miami.

***

Angel turned away from the scrying when the large man in leather appeared to take him on, moaning in mental agony.

Cordelia looked.  "Hey, Ares is testing him again," she said dryly, shaking her head.  "Get 'im, Xander, make him beg!" she called into the pool, even though he shouldn't be able to hear her.  She shrugged at Gunn's dirty look and Wesley's amused ones.  "If that's a sport, he's a gold medal winner.  He deserves some cheerleading now and then."

Angel gave her a horrified look.  "Are you feeling all right?"

"Perfectly content," she assured him with a mean grin.  "Now you know why Princess Gay there has three boyfriends and others.  Plus demons who're willing to commit suicide if he doesn't become theirs."

Gunn moaned at one move he did.   "If I could move like that I'd never be without."

Wesley coughed.  "I'm wondering where he learned it," he admitted, sounding like he was fascinated.

"Off realm somewhere.  Ryan took him.  He taught Greggy how to dance it and a few other GHS members but no one not one of them can apparently do them.  Ooooh!"  She smiled at them when they managed to glance at her.  "He's been learning how to do what the quarth demons do for their dancing stuff.  It's not as hot but together they're enough to send that one demon brothel he goes to learn at in Miami rockin' out on the hormone express."  She strolled off.

Angel glanced again, watching as Xander ducked a blow and got in a few good ones of his own.  "He's definitely not Buffy's tagalong."

"He wasn't before," Wesley said, scowling at him.  "The boy had skills that you refused to see and refused to admit to, Angel.  Or didn't he stand up to you?"

"He did," he agreed bitterly.  He stomped off, not wanting this mental torture.  Wasn't he being tortured enough!  He looked up.   "Why did I have to see this, Powers?  Don't I have enough problems!"

"No, apparently not," Gunn called, getting back to the watching.  Because it was *good*!  Like if he had a girlfriend she'd be in danger of losing whatever she was wearing good.  He felt Wesley move closer and looked at him.  "Not going there tonight, Wes man."

"I wasn't going to suggest it, I was moving to get a better idea of what he's doing now."  He continued to stare, studying the fighting.  It was very moving.

Gunn shook his head, going to find the girl they had rescued.  That'd take his mind off this stuff.  Before he got stuck wanting the boy too.  Hair and all. Because he'd end up picking on the hair like Cordelia did now and then if he didn't.

Angel came back once Wesley was gone, scrying the past dancing events.  The boy was a torment that would make sure he'd never slip his soul again.  Though, he had to say that his future childe would be a great benefit to the family.  He slapped himself for that thought.  He didn't make children anymore.  He had sworn that off when he had become a good guy.  He had the evil thought of making Spike watch it, but that would get Xander attacked by him in jealousy.  Spike hated it when anyone was prettier than he was.

***

Jace woke up with a moan for the soreness she felt.  "I'm going to kill him a few times. Anyone mind?"

"Yes.  If he dies again that tumor grows and then we've got real problems," Cupid said, snuggling up to her shoulder. "Want a backrub?"

"If you do that you'll want more sex and I'm sore, dear," she said firmly, patting him on the cheek.  "I know he makes you horny but I'm too sore to do more than watch you take Strife."  He smirked and called Strife down, getting a pouty boyfriend.  "You, take care of him.  He's being horny after watching Xander."

"No wonder!" he complained, spanking Cupid.  "You know you can't watch him dance!  He gives you a surge!"  He spanked him a few more times then made his clothes disappear and dove into Cupid's body, making him sorry for surging that way.

***

Xander dropped the bag at Greg's lab and headed out to the nightlife Miami had.  It was still early morning but some of it had to be going on.  He found an all-day rave and dove in, getting into the middle of the crowd.

Eric got the phone call from the bouncer and shook his head.  "Is it starting an orgy?  Then let him be happy.  Yeah, after shift or if he's got a problem.  Thanks, man."  He hung up and went to find Don since he was just now coming in.  "Xander's back.  He's off at a 24- hour rave."  Don moaned. "He's having fun. Leave him alone."

"He could get taken again."

"I doubt it.  He's surrounded by goth kids at the moment.  He'll be fine.  Tell Greg he's back so he can find his samples."  He went off, going back to work.  He walked past Danny.  "He's back.  He's playing at an all day rave."

"Why?"

"He hasn't been out and happy in public in a while?"

"Point.  As long as he's fine," he decided.  "Let me know if we have ta rescue him."  Horatio came out of his office.  "What's up, bossman?"

"There's a new person who wants your Xander."

"Really?  Already?  He just got back."

Horatio gave him a look.  "Not amused, Danny."

"He's at an all-day rave, H," Eric said with a small grin.  "Getting happy on the dance floor."

Horatio shook his head.  "There's a law firm that wants to use him as a sacrifice," he said patiently.  He paged the others and walked those two back to his office to talk to them about it before they called Cordelia.  The others trickled in and got the fax Cordelia had sent, not making anyone happy.

Calleigh raised a hand.  "We have a branch down here.  I've dealt with one of their people in the past," she announced.  "Slimebucket.  Total slime bucket."  She handed it on to Frank, who passed it to Don.

"Do we have any idea how they're going to come after him?" Danny asked, taking them when Don was finished his scanning.  He read a bit deeper.  He also sneered.  "Run into them in New York in the past.  Wanna give this to Mac, watch his face turn purple?  It's a fun game."  He handed it on to Eric, who gave him an odd look.  "It is.  Last time he dealt with them he nearly went stripped.  Purple and red."

Stella walked in looking amused.  "What's going on, guys?  Meeting about a case?"

"Wolfram and Hart want Xander," Danny said with an evil smirk.

She raised an eyebrow.  "Don't tell Mac, Danny.  I don't want to watch him have a heart attack today."  She looked at Horatio, who gave her a small shrug.  "He's serious?"  Horatio nodded.  "Oh, crap!  And I thought Donna ending up down here on a crossover case was unamusing today."  She handed the file to Horatio.  "Can you switch Lindsey and someone so she quits sniping?"

"No," Eric said.  "If I have to work with the woman, I'll have nightmares."  Ryan trudged in.  "You're late."

"My car's engine got shot, Eric, I'm allowed to be a bit late when someone takes a shotgun to the highway."  Eric and the others stared at him.  "Yes, the new sniper hit me."  He looked at the amassed people.  "What did Xander do this time?"

"Wolfram and Hart are after him."

"Huh.  Are they the sleezeballs that got the rapist off?"  Calleigh nodded.  "They want him for what?"

"Sacrifice."

"Charming."  Ryan took the forms to look over, nodding slowly, then he handed them to Stella.  "We're sticking him where?"

"Right now he's surrounded by goth kids at a rave," Eric told him.

"That might be the safest place for him.  They'll hiss at the lawyers."  He called Cordelia on the desk phone.  "Any idea what sort of sacrifice they need him for?"

"They were going to use him as a sacrifice of innocence but their senior panel now wants to use him as an enticement to bring in new business and as a reward for their better clients who do things for them."

"Uh-huh," Ryan said flatly.  "Anything in particular we should know?"

"They're not above magic, kidnaping, and doing bad things to destroy the world."

"That's your thing."

"I can send Angel down," she offered cheerfully.

"Not funny, Cordelia!" a male voice called.  "He's already nearly fixated!"

"Sorry, Gunn!"  She giggled a bit.  "Angel was wandering around when we came in this morning talking to himself about the benefits of making a new childe out of Xander and how he'd be good enough to replace Spike and Dru."  She sounded like she was smiling.  "I'm thinking he's going to run into a reality issue in a few hours.  Xander would stake him before being turned.  That's the sort of guy he is."

"Cordelia, we can't be turned," Danny pointed out.

"Even better.  I'll tell him that."  She was definitely smiling now.  "Just worry about the slimeball lawyers or have Xander talk to his new admirer and see if he can stomp on them a bit.  He's on the High Demonic Council."  She hung up.

"Really?" Ryan said, looking amused.  "Anyone seen him yet?"  No one said anything.  "Me either.  Or any presents.  So at least this one is subtle so far."  He shrugged. "Let me know what my part in the plan is, guys.  Now, what's up for the rest of the day?"

"Baltimore sent down Donna on a crossover and Mac said to switch Lindsey out for the case," Stella offered.

Ryan looked at her.  "I'd shave her.  By force.  And sing hymns to Ares at every single stroke because it'd dull my sword."  He looked totally serious.

"Lindsey suggested Xander could do that with his katana."  She smiled at Horatio.  "Can you spare us a tech?"

He nodded and looked at them. "Eric, you managed not to get stuck in that mental image."

"No I didn't!"

"You did, Eric.  You even managed not to say something," Calleigh said with a smile.  "Thanks, dear."  She patted him on the back.  "I'll work on our joint case and keep you informed."  They got up and headed back to work, considering the implications of what they now knew about who wanted Xander this time.

Eric moaned but let Stella lead him out with fake sympathy for that assignment.  Because *no one* wanted to work with Hirsute Woman.  When he got there, the outfit was worse than what she had interviewed in.  It was going to make him gag soon.  He gave Mac a look, getting an understanding one back.  "Horatio said you needed to borrow me?"

"We do," Mac agreed.  "How was the morning briefing?"

"We found out Xander's new suitor is on the High Council among their kind."  Mac groaned at that.  "And a law firm wants him.  Wolfram and Hart?"  Mac did indeed turn a pretty shade of purple at that name.  He took a picture with his phone and sent it to Danny, grinning at him.  "They wanted him as a sacrifice of innocence at first, Mac."

"Go away, Eric."

"You don't need me?"

"No, I do, but not that mental image."

"They've gotten down to him being a reward now for their better clients."

"Even worse, Eric.  Go work with Donna."  He walked off to get a drink and calm himself down.  Before he got sick and/or threw a fit.  He hated that law firm.  Like nothing else in this world he hated that law firm.

Stella patted him on the arm when she saw him.  "It'll be okay.  We'll send Donna off," she said quietly.  He gave her a look.  "Danny wanted to tell you."

"Eric sent a picture."  He shook his head.  "Anything else I should know?"

"Cordelia said Angel was fixated on him being his next childe."

"Interesting.  But I doubt it could happen."

"Yes, but think about the mental agony he's going through," she teased.  He did crack a smile at that.  "Can I just be blunt this time?"

"Please," he sighed, shaking his head.  "I'm not sure how they're not."

She walked over to where Eric was working and Donna was watching him looking confused.  "What's wrong?"

"He's doing something with the tire tread."

"That's his thing.  He's great at it," she agreed, walking her off. "Donna, I don't want to butt in or anything, but I can see hair I should not be able to see.  Ever.  You've already dropped hair on the body from that area when you walked over him, which is a violation of protocol.  So, you're going to go change clothes into something more appropriate or I'm going to have to tell your supervisor that you're dropping biologicals on scenes again."  She sneered at Stella.  "I don't care if you don't like it.   You're not a trainee anymore.  Last time I was mild and reproachful.  This time I'm going to be blunt.  You should braid the hair, Donna.  We can all see it and most of us have mental images of you we do not want."  She stomped off.  "When you put on more appropriate clothes you can come back," she called after her.  She went back to the scene.  "Watch out for her dropped hairs, Eric," she sighed.  "I've found three so far."

"I think I found another one," he admitted, handing over the envelope.

Mac coughed.  "I thought you meant at Xander, Stella."

"Nope, not his fault they want him that way.  I can't fix Xander's hormones but I can sure as hell fix us needing to weed her out of the suspect list."  She got back to work, being her usual professional self.

Don pulled up and got out, slamming his car door.  "Guys, did you not get a homicide detective?"

"No," Mac called.  "We had one, he took off to get sick."  He looked at him. "You can sub if you want."

"Sure."  He came over to help where he could.  "What do we know so far?"

"That a Boxter ran him over," Eric offered.  "Tire tread and wheel base say so.  That we have DNA we shouldn't on him," he offered, plucking off another hair and handing it over to Stella, who groaned and put it away.  "If she's not careful she's going to end up a suspect."

"We find many more and I'm going to think of her like one," Stella agreed.  "That's five hairs now."  She and Mac shared a look.  Maybe she had done it.  One or two could be shedding.  Five though?

***

Xander walked into the club he liked best later that night, smiling at the bouncers, getting one back from one.  "Hi, guys."

"Back again, Mr. Harris?"

"Yeah."  He wiggled his way onto the floor and got down to it.   He had been going all day but what did he care!  It was fun!  He was free!  He was young!  He was pretty!  One of the rappers gave him odd looks and he grinned.  "Sorry, having a day off," he called, going to dance with a different woman than his.  He didn't need the stress.

"What you drive?" he called.

Xander looked at him.  "Classic corvette.  I gave up the SUV when it got blown up."  He looked impressed at that.  "I don't go for flash outwardly.  I'm impressive enough."

"You should have bling if you're among the elite," he sneered.

Xander pulled his hair back while he shrugged.  "I don't need it.  I sparkle more than enough."

"You an actor or somethin'?"

"No.  Concubine kitty," he said with a smirk.  "Pampered pet and things."  They laughed at that.  "I am."

"Your boy treats you good since you're wearing designer threads.  He can't let you drive a better car?"

"I like my car!"  He pouted and they understood the nature of being a concubine kitty.

"Yo, you should be with someone who'll do more than dress you, man.  You should have bling and a better ride."

Xander grinned.  "I thought about it but I don't want to be too pushy.  Then again, I've got about ten mil in gems in the bank."  They looked impressed at that.  "Just loose stuff though."  That got a moan.  He grinned and moved closer.  "I need a new hobby."

"Get some ice, boy.  Dress to impress the snobs here in the city of lights."  He patted him on the back and walked off, going back to his girlfriend.

Xander went back to his dancing, considering it.  He could do that...  Maybe.  Danny might mind though.  He called Danny, babbling over the loud music.  "Danny, can I have some bling and a pimp car?"

***

Danny looked at the speaker in front of him.  "We'll see when you get home and I wear your ass out, Xander.  Come home.  Please?"

"Did Greggy get his bag of stuff?"

"He's still pulling stuff out to catalog," he admitted dryly.  "Come home?"

"But I'm having *fun*!"

"You can have fun tomorrow night. I've got the next day off and we can close down some clubs.  Tonight I want you safe and under me."

Xander was laughing and happy, he could hear it.  "But I wanna be on top tonight, baby."

"Then be on top tonight but ta do that you still gotta be here, Xander."

"In a few hours."  He hung up.

Danny leaned back, scrubbing at his face.  He looked over as Don brought him some soda and himself a sundae, nodding at him.  "Xander wants bling."

"He's got how many stones in the bank and the vaults?"

"Point."   He took a drink.  "He said he'd be home in a few hours.  He's having fun.  He wants to be on top tonight."

"Go for it.  I've got to be in at seven in the morning due to court."  He ate a bite of his ice cream, feeding Danny one when he opened his mouth.  That got a smile and a kiss.  "At least that would use some of his jewelry."

"He'd have to remake some of the stuff he's been given, Don."

"True."  He ate another bite and thought about it. "I can't see him in rap star bling anyway.  He's more than tough enough but that's not who Xander is."

"True."  He opened his mouth and Don teased him, making him poke him in the side and steal the bite of ice cream and butterscotch.  "Thanks."  He got up and went to get ready for the happy, bouncy Xander who'd be coming home.  Xander came home about an hour after Don came to bed and pounced him, making him groan.  "Easy on the body, Xander," he protested, but kissed him and let him do whatever else he wanted.

Xander pulled back with a grin.  "I pounced you."

"You did and I enjoyed all but the chest pain."  He stroked his hands down Xander's side, tickling him, making him shriek.  Don grunted in displeasure so he quieted Xander down and had him, even letting him on top this time.

***

Xander poked Danny when he came home the next night.  "Come pick out clothes?" he asked, looking pitiful.

"I did say we could go out.  Can we eat first or did you wanna go out tonight?"  Xander squealed and hugged him.  "That's fine, baby.  Let me shower and change."  He smiled and walked into the bedroom, going to shower and coming out to find Xander laying out some very nice pants and a silk shirt for each of them.  "We're gonna get hot," he warned.

Xander kissed him.  "That's okay.  I like you sweaty."  He bounced to go shower and came out with his hair down but dry.  "Didn't want to wait to dry it."  He wiggled into his pants and tank top under his silk shirt.  He even came over to help Danny button his, getting a kiss and a grin.  "I know, but we haven't been out in a while."

"I'm sorry, Xander.  Remind us, okay?"  Xander stared at him and nodded, looking very serious.  "Good boy.  Now, where did you want to have dinner?"

"I didn't make plans."

"Then we'll see what's got an opening.  Got a good spot in mind?"  Xander leaned closer and whispered, making him moan.  "A bit above my salary."

"I'll get dinner and you get the cover?"

"That'll work," he assured him.  "But next time it's my treat, got it?"

"Okay."  He slid into his shoes and let Danny put on his, then they headed out together. Xander paused to kiss Don so hard he had to grab onto the counter.  "When's your next day off?"

"Um, Sunday."  He grinned.  "We'll see what we can get into Saturday night, Xander."  Xander beamed and walked his date of the evening out.  Don smiled.  "We need to take the boy out more often."

Xander got in to drive, taking Danny to where he wanted to eat, with a stop through the ATM on the way.  "I forgot to hit the safe."

"That's all right, you've got plenty the last time I knew."  He stroked Xander's arm, making him smile at him.  "So, you said you wanted bling.  You didn't come up with any ideas?"

"I figured I'd look silly in some of the rapper's bling."

"I can agree with that," he said.  "What about the other stuff?"

"He suggested I get a backup ride."

"Uh-huh," Danny said slowly.  "You were thinking what?"

"Escalade?" he said hesitantly.

"Well, it's a safe tank," he said dryly.

Xander changed directions and pulled past a club.  "I want one of those," he said, pointing.

Danny shifted to look at the stretch Escalade, then at Xander.  "Let's go eat."

"Is that a no?"

"That's an I'm thinking of a reasonable argument for when we talk about it."  Xander nodded but sighed and pulled back toward the restaurant of choice.  That one was full but the next choice wasn't and it was a great seafood place.  Xander ordered something soothing and Danny got something more exciting and they split it.  Danny ate a few bites then put down his fork so he could take a drink.  "Okay, I'm going to put it this way.  You don't need a stretch Escalade.  I wouldn't mind another SUV in the family, though it'd probably sit in the garage most of the time and we'd have to renovate the garage so it'd fit, but I don't think you need something that massive."

"But something smaller?"

"I can see something a bit smaller and possibly a bit more practical," he agreed, making Xander grin and steal a bite of his dinner.   "Eat."  Xander dug in and stole more of Danny's food, letting him have more of his pasta and seafood casserole.  "So this weekend we'll look at the other cars.  What about the corvette?"

"It's my baby."  He gave him a look.  "Would you mind if I went for bracelets?"

"Bracelets would be fine," he agreed.  "Maybe a subtle necklace.  Nothing like rapper's bling.  Something nice is okay though.  What about an earring?"

"I asked Aiden's opinion and she said I'd look more like a girl.  That I should pierce both of them and get it done."

Danny snorted and shook his head.  "Not even.  I was thinking one nice stud."

"I can see that," he agreed, perking up some more.  "Maybe more stuff for my hair?"

"I like the jeweled hair bands you wear to close off your braids."  Xander smiled at that.  "The same as I don't particularly like the pins you use now and then because they stab me in the middle of the night but I can see other hair accessories being more bling-like," he agreed.  Xander let out a small squeal and leaned over the table to hug him, letting him kiss him on the cheek.  "Eat.  Or else we can't go out tonight."  Xander settled down to eat.  "But, in return, you have to use some of the stuff you've got in the safes and the safety deposit box."

"Okay.  I can agree to that."

"You can't spend more than a million total."  Xander blushed.  "What?"

"Um, the house taxes are really expensive," he sighed, looking at him.

"Define expensive?"  Xander handed over the slip from the ATM making him choke.  "Excuse me?"

"I had to pay the IRS and the house taxes yesterday.  Even Steve winced at both those.  That's the main account we use for most things.  The others weren't touched but that one's seriously depleted."

"What about the IRS stuff?"

"I'm not sure if they'll do anything other than send it back.  If so, Steve said to keep any paperwork and copies of the checks.  That way they can't get me for fines and things."  He shrugged and ate another bite.  "It's why my stomach's so upset."

"How much were your taxes?"

"Um, the greater majority of that.  The house taxes were about two hundred thousand."  Danny gaped in horror.  Xander nodded.  "The IRS payment was the rest."

"How much had been in there?"

"The greater majority of five?" he said quietly.

Danny sighed and nodded. "Okay.  Did Steve say anything about switching it around from other accounts?"

"No, but he said if I had any other poker money laying around I should probably deposit it in that one."

"Let's move your poker account into the main one."

"He said I shouldn't."

"I didn't."

"You two can talk about that.  That strange financial language will give me more headaches."  He ate another bite.  "Should I sell some of the stuff in the closets and the vaults?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know, Xander.  We'll talk about that tomorrow, all right?"  Xander nodded and ate another bite.  "Good boy."  He stroked his hand.  "Was that for one year of taxes?"

"Yup."

"Damn."

Xander looked at him.  "They said the new trees raised it."  Danny rolled his eyes.  "So we're working on it."

"Thank you for letting us know.  That's outrageous."

"But I like the house."

"So do I, but that's still outrageous.  How do the other cops afford it?"

"Oh.  There's something we didn't know.  Um, did you know our lands extend back past the back neighbor's house?"  Danny slowly shook his head.  "Apparently according to them.  So they're pulling the deeds out to check on that for me since I said I didn't think it went back that far.  If so, we have more than enough room to put on an extension to the garage."

"Good," he said dryly, shaking his head quickly.  "Eat."  Xander dug in again.  "Did we mail it to the IRS or give it to them?"

"Handed it over."

"So it'll be a quick turnaround to see how bad this is?"  Xander nodded.  "Good."  He smiled again.  "We should set that money aside, just in case."

"I'm still working on a way around that with Miss Gold at the bank.  Even she winced at the land taxes."

"I'm not surprised.  If they find out the estimate was wrong, can they put it toward next year's?"

"Yup.  I asked and they said they could do that instead of giving us a refund."  He finished his dinner and stole one of Danny's scallops with an impish grin.  Danny smirked back and finished eating.  "I try very hard to be a good boy."

"I know."  He stroked his hand.  "Maybe we can do it with an ID from a tax haven country."

"Maybe," he agreed, stroking his hand.  "We might have to buy land there or something."

"We can do that."  Xander nodded and grinned.  "Good boy."  He finished up and the waiter came back to check on dessert.  "Xander?"

"I had chocolate for lunch."

"Then we're fine.  Check?"  It was brought and he glanced at it.  "That's not as bad as I thought."  Xander took it and looked at it then put down money for that and the tip, waving at the waiter when he looked over.  They finished their drinks and left, making the waiter smile at the twenty dollar tip he got.  Danny looked at Xander, who was staring at his car.  "Can I drive?"  The keys were handed over with a shy smile.  "Where are we headed tonight?"

"The usual place?"

"If you want. Or we can go the place where Eric showed us."  Xander let out a small purr at that so he headed that way, parking very carefully.  He'd never get to even ride in the corvette again if he dinged it.   They got out and Danny did get the cover, taking Xander inside to dance with him.  It was a mixed gay/straight club so no one cared that he was dancing with Xander.  Or that he was close enough to make him get off now and then.  Or that Xander was moaning against his neck through a few songs since they were rubbing against each other.  It was a great night.  They came out and Xander smiled at a few guys who were driving up the street, waving at one.  One of them paused where they were walking.

"You weren't joking?" he teased, leaning out the window.

"No, I'm his concubine kitty," he teased back, hugging Danny's arm.  "He's my keeper."  That got a smirk.  "What's the next best step down from a stretch Escalade?  He said we didn't need that much room."

"It's not about need, it's about the flash," he reminded him dryly.  Xander pointed at his car and got a whistle.  "Pretty.  Not hot but pretty and classic.  Go to the place on the beach.  Near the volleyball tournaments."  He smirked at Danny.  "You're damn lucky."

"I know.  Xander's very unique."  He grinned back.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  We like him.  He takes the others out of my view."  They headed off.

Danny looked at him. "I know what place he was talking about.  We'll go look soon."  Xander nodded and got them into the car, letting Danny drive them around for a bit.  "When did you meet him?"

"We club at the same place.  His girlfriend likes to dance with me now and then so he growls at her and steals her."  He grinned slyly.  "Then again they saw me and Ryan one time and decided it was fine.  I was a nice gay guy who was a safe guy to be around."

"That's fine.  I like watching you and Ryan dance together.  You tease him more."  He stroked up Xander's thigh, heading off to ride up to where you could overlook part of the city.  Xander moaned when they parked.   "Making out would be much easier in an SUV."

"We'll see what I can get," he promised.  He took another kiss then leaned down to play with Danny's cock.  "There's my present."

"All you want of him," Danny promised, stroking over the unbound hair.  He moaned when Xander freed him and started to work on him.  Someone tapped on the window and he looked at the officer, digging out his ID to show it.  That got an eye roll so he rolled down the window.  "Sorry, we were clubbing."

"I know who you are, CSI Messer. This isn't the place for that."

Xander lifted his head.  "Then I'd wake up Don by pouncing him and make him cranky.  Then Frank would have to hide and Horatio would get upset at Don being cranky.  This way saves you guys having to deal with a cranky Don too.  Because a cranky Don would mean I'd have to come to the station to blow him."

The officer shook his head and walked off.  "Head home soon, sirs."

"Yes, officer," they chimed in.

Xander went back down and Danny tipped the back of the seat back so Xander could have more room.  He loved Xander's skills.

***

Horatio walked up to Danny the next morning, giving him a long look before he took off his sunglasses.  "I didn't think Don got that cranky."

"That was Xander, boss," he said, holding up a hand.  "He said it before I could stop him.  But yes, he is."  He walked past him.  "Won't happen again," he called as he walked off.

"It had better not," he agreed. He looked at Don as he drove in, giving him a look.  "Have you talked to Xander yet this morning?"

"No, why?" he asked cautiously.

"It seems he and Danny were caught out on Overlook Point last night," he said calmly.  Don moaned and shook his head.  "Xander apparently explained it away as they didn't want to wake you and make you cranky.  That way Frank wouldn't have to hide and I wouldn't have to get upset when you made Frank hide.  Plus no one else would have to deal with you being cranky."

"I got my morning cuddles, I'm not gonna be that cranky," he complained.  "Messer!" he yelled as he walked into the lab.  Danny came out of the locker room.  "He said what?"

"That you'd be cranky if we woke you up."

"Not that cranky!"

"Got your morning cuddles so it's all good?" Eric teased.

Don punched him on the arm.  "Yes, but not the point.  Xander told the officer last night that I'd be cranky if they woke me up."

"You would be," Eric agreed, walking off rubbing his arm.  "You still are."

"I was in a good mood until about five minutes ago."

"Xander said it," Danny promised.  "By the way, we're taking him SUV looking."

"Why?" Don demanded.

"Because one of the guys at the club told him how to look more hip.  Did you hear about the IRS payment and the land taxes?"  Don shuddered. "Steve?"

"Yeah."  He walked closer.  "What does he want?"

"We talked about the bling issue.  He'll stick with subtle stuff.  Hair stuff like the band clips.  Maybe a bracelet now and then."  That got a small smile.  "Maybe an earring."

"I'm not thrilled with that idea," he admitted.

"He might not be either since it'll wrap his hair around it.  He also wanted a stretch Escalade."  Don moaned.  "I talked him out of that one but we're taking him down to the place by the beach.   Did Steve tell you how much the payment to the IRS was?"  Don moaned and nodded.  "Think he claimed everything?"

"I'd hope so."  He walked into the locker room to calm down and fight out of the hallway since Horatio was coming in.  "What are we doing about him?"

Ryan cleared his throat from behind his locker door.  "First of all, you get him to wait until the IRS sends it back. Then you make sure he's got an ID from where his funds are.  That'll solve all the other problems.  Then you spoil the boy horribly."  He closed the door so he could look at them.  "Get him something pretty, guys.  Or help him pick them out."  He walked past them.

"He's a smart guy for not dating that often," Danny quipped.  He looked at Don again. "So, we'll need ta add onto the garage probably."

"I can handle that."  He shrugged and got into his locker, checking his tie. "Does this go?"

"No.  Never has."  Don sighed and took off the tie and changed it to another one.  This one Xander had picked out.  "Better but not perfect."  He blew a kiss and headed out to get to work.  Frank gave him an odd look.  "Xander, Frank.  Xander."

"Where is your boy?"

"Sleeping it off," he said proudly. "Wore him out for breakfast.  Ate in the car instead."   He looked at Horatio.  "Boss, anything or am I working my last case?"

"Go work your last case until something new comes in," he ordered patiently.  Danny went that way.  "Try to keep Xander from starting such rumors."

"Last week he told someone he had a unicorn at the farm," Danny called.  "A few believed  him."

"He does," Ryan called.

"Excuse me?" Frank called.

Ryan came out of DNA to look at them.  "He does."  He shrugged.  "He's giving it shelter until it can get home.  It likes the male foal and my mares."  He walked off with his report.

Frank glared at Don when he came out.  "Your boy has a what?"

"Unicorn foal.  He's a cute little guy but Princess nudges him because he's got an ego problem."

"Is he white?"

"Pale gray."  He shrugged and grinned.  "Can't pet him.  None of us can.  The mares like him though."  He walked off, going back to his desk.

Frank and Horatio shared a look, then Horatio shook his head and walked off, going to call Xander.

***

Xander brought in lunch and smiled at the shocked looking guards.  "What?"

"Flack's not cranky."

"He will be if he can't have lunch."  They signed him in and let him onto the elevator.  "Thanks, guys."  He beamed and headed up to drop off food.  "Hi, Frank."  He blew a kiss and handed him a large bag.  Then he moved to the other desks, dropping food off for each of them.  Then he went to the lab and found Calleigh grumbling.  He looked in the box then at her.  "You can have yours or Ryan's.  His is sweeter and nutty."

"What's mine?"

"Fish."

"I like fish."  She took her box and walked off.  "Xander's got lunch," she called.  People came out to get their things.  Xander ended up with only a few things.  Horatio's and Ryan's boxes, plus one for Valera, who was apparently not in today.  He went to put their things in Horatio's office.  Along with the picture inside Horatio's box since he had been concerned about the unicorn colt.  He even left the box there in case they needed it for something.  Then he went back to his car and headed home to do some more car looking online.  The place suggested had a catalog online and he was making notes and waiting on the daily mail.  When it came he had to smile.  He had a postcard from Ray Junior and it made his week.

***

A man got off the plane and looked around the airport, smiling at the pretty people around him.  "This is nice," he said with a New York accent.  "I can see why he moved."  He grabbed his bags and headed out to get a ride.  He had contacts that could help him down here.  Because his prey would not get away this time.

The Information Highway

The idea for the dog show came from Shadow on my Imaginings list.  Thank you!  Small angst.

Greg looked up as his doorbell on the lab's door rang, going over to see who it was.  He let Adam in, nodding back at the microscope.  "We've been horribly optimistic."

"Why?"

"Because most of us don't go for herbal cures."  He walked him around his separated samples.  "When Eric told Xander to go to LA to drop Cordy off he went to most of the herb shops around the area.  Some of them aren't very well labeled.  Some of them have a lot of stuff that's already on the list without warning.  Then again, there's a lot of stuff that we hadn't tested."  He pointed at that pile.  "I've found a few mixes that aren't listed very well.  I've found a new substance we're all allergic to, and some that we're about half allergic to."  That got a nod.  "Want to see test results?"

"Present them to the research panel, Gregory."  He looked at him. "How are you doing with Xander and the trio?"

"We're good.  We're happy.  I get all the cuddles I want and I help wear Xander out.  Plus we're all pretty cool together. Why?"

"Xander's worried that he's wearing on them again."

"He's not."

"He's playing poker today."

"Why?" he moaned.

"Because he had to pay the IRS about two million recently."

"The dumbass has money," he said, shaking his head.  He'd bop Xander later.  "We'll figure it out, Adam."  He grinned.  "Thank you."

"You're doing us all a great service," he pointed out. "You've checked the list I've given you so far?"

"Most of it.  I couldn't find a few of that exact brand or mix."  He walked him over to the pile of 'done and allergic' things he had already sorted out.  "These are what I have so far.  Most of these have one of the others we've already noted in them.  Some of them are local brands and some aren't.  Some of them are actually herbs used in magic.  Xander went there too.  That's how the law firm found out about him."  Methos muttered something.  "I know.  We had a rep in Las Vegas over one of their clients.  Even Grissom swore at that one and I thought Brass's head was going to explode when he heard who the lawyer was.  We'll handle it."  He gave him a hug.  "It'll be okay. This is Xander we're talking about."

"True."  He calmed himself and patted Greg.  "This is Xander and he's more able than most of us to get himself out of things.  After all, he's very good at retrieving himself."  Greg grinned at that.  "He did recently.  Then again they did hand him to Angel in LA."

"Yeah, Cordelia said Angel wants to turn him."  Adam sighed and shook his head.  "So, anything else I can show you?"

"No, you're doing fine, Gregory.  Remember to go home now and then," he chided with a small smile.  "Also, call your friends. One of the other members in the department out there said that someone caught Xander practicing and has shown the film around a bit in the labs.  There was talk about another rescue effort."

Greg shook his head.  "I'll call Hodges.  Thanks, Adam."

"Not a problem.  Also answer your email young man."  He smiled.  "Now, about this new foal?"

"He'll be going home soon.  Xander's waiting for the right moment to open the portal.  For right now he's being babied by Ryan's mares."

"That's fine. I'm sure he's an adoring little unicorn colt."  He smiled and walked off, heading out to go home. He had a set of the tapes that Xander had made to teach others the dances.  He needed to do more practice with it so he could learn his style of fighting.  Even Ryan had problems defeating him.  He'd only done it once that anyone knew about.  Plus it did make for some interesting sex later on.  It also made one very limber if what Xander said was true.

Greg regloved and got back to work on his new batch of samples.  The computer checked it against known blood samples he had gathered from the local members.  That way no one person's allergies would lead the whole group.

***

Xander smiled at the courier who brought him the mail from the front gate, taking the certified letter and signing the slips for him.  That got a nod and he took the rest into the house.  He looked at the letter from the IRS.  It said what he and Steve thought it would say, that they couldn't find him and therefore couldn't pay on his social security number. To please call the local office to clear up this mistake on his part.  He put it aside to do later and went through the rest of the mail.  One was a slim package and he looked at it, smiling at the new tape shipment.  He didn't know he was part of a record club.  He looked at the selections.  It was even something he would have picked.  He did call them and ask who had set up the account because he didn't remember doing it. They said he had so he had to wonder....

Then again he knew he wasn't going to do those things.  He always forgot to pay the bills, much less the CD club's little mailers to send back.  He walked into the living room to read the rest of the mail.  Don's got put in one pile.  Danny's in another.  Greg had a few too so he put those together.  The rest were his magazines and another letter.  That one looked important.  He got into it, reading the simple letter that said his life was about to end.  To look outside.  "Spots, come with the daddy," he called.  "Hubert, guard the ferrets."  The animals did as ordered.  "Hubert, you can attack anything who's not supposed to be here."  He walked out with the dogs to the car, getting them inside and heading out.  The letter was fairly specific.  He drove them to the station and parked, leaning out to look at Calleigh.  "Where's Don?"

"Inside, Xander.  What's wrong with the dogs?"

"Oh, someone sent me a letter saying they were going to shoot me."  She stared at him.  "Can I bring in the dogs?"

"Not today.  Go ahead in and I'll watch them while I'm out here."  He shut off the engine and got out but one of the dogs did not want to stay inside so he let it follow him.  She smiled at the other one, coming over to pet him through the window.  One of the officers gave her a dirty look.  "He just went inside.  I told him he couldn't take them both inside. He's fine so far.  If it's too long I'll let him out."  That got a 'humph' and the officer went to report that.

Xander walked up to Don's desk then frowned since he wasn't there.  No one was there.  "Frank?" he called.  Frank came out of interrogation.  "I got a threatening letter again.  Someone wants to shoot me."

Frank came over to look at it, frowning at the simple message.  "Who's at home?"

"Hubert's guarding the ferrets."

"Good."  He looked at him. "Don's just went out on a scene."  He looked at the very obediently sitting dog then back at him.  "Where's the other one?"

"In the car or with Calleigh."

"That's fine.  Sit at Don's desk and don't touch anything.  At all."  Xander nodded, going to do that.  Frank went to page whatever CSI was in residence to hand that over.  Ryan came out giving him an odd look.  He handed over the letter.  "It came in today's mail."

"Wonderful.  The envelope?"

"Couch," Xander called.  He stood up to look at him.  "Sorry, I forgot that part."

"That's okay, we can handle that," Ryan promised. He smiled at the dog.  "You guard the daddy very well, Spot."  He took the letter off.  "Let me work on this, Xander."

"Sure, Ryan.  Should I stay at home?"

"No, take the dogs out to do something public," Frank ordered.  "Go to the dog trials today.  They're in the main park by the canals and a lot of the K-9 officers are there."

"Okay."  He took the dog out to the car, knowing it was in good hands.  It's not like it was his first threat.  He found the other one sniffing a bag for another officer. "He only does drugs, guys."

"That's fine.  We wanted to see how well trained he was."

"He's trained on the major ones.  Find, Spots."  They both came over to sniff and one pawed at the handle then sat down.  The other sniffed the officer and sat down behind him, earning a laugh.  "They did good?"

"They did very good.  They could use a refresher but dalmatians aren't the usual sort we'd use for bloodhounds either.  If I remember right they're sight hounds."  He petted them both.  "Good boys!"  They barked and wagged and bounced, earning pets from both of them.  "Something wrong with them?"

"No, death threat.  Someone wants to shoot me."  He looked stunned.  "Not the first but Ryan has it."  He shrugged. "Frank said I should take them to see the dog trials."

"You should.  It's a good exercise and goes well with how you've trained them so far."

"Cool.  Come on, guys, let's go watch the professional puppies play."  They got back into the car and he settled in.  "Thanks.  Have a better day."  He waved and pulled out, heading to the park.  He found the trials easily enough, it was well marked and open to the public.  He smiled as he paid his fees.  "Can my dogs come sit with me?"

"Sure.  Are they trained?"

"To guard me.  They're not aggressive with other dogs."  She smiled at that so he went to get the dogs and bring them with him.  He found a good spot on the ground since they didn't have bleachers or anything set up.  The dogs watched the ones going over the obstacle course, then at him.  "Do you two want to learn that?  We can do that."  He petted them both, watching as it went on.  After the first set of dogs went over the course, another set was called and his bad things mental alarm started to go off, making him watch the surrounding areas.  This one had a lot of the K-9 dogs in it so he watched even closer.  He cuddled his pets closer to him while they watched, heads still tipped to the side like they couldn't figure out what the other dogs were doing.  One of them barked quietly at a dog walking past and Xander smiled at the handler.  "Hey.  Do they offer this at the obedience school?"

She smiled at him.  "We did teach him at it, Xander.  Awwww, you have a matched set?"   He beamed and nodded, petting them both. "They're adorable!"

"They are and they're both Spots."  She laughed at that.  "They are.  Someone took me and gave me the second one.  I didn't realize it wasn't mine."  He stroked them both.  "They're both very well trained."  She smiled at that.  "Do they teach the advanced finding stuff?  The boyfriends are cops and give it to them now and then."

"They do.  You'd have to ask since those are special classes.  I think they both scored more than high enough to get in.   Happy watching.  We're in the next heat."  She walked her sheppard off and both dogs leaned against him.

"She was nice at the classes, huh?" he asked them quietly, stroking over their ears.  His mental alarm started to shriek so he looked around again, seeing ...something.  He wasn't sure what.  He got up and walked over to an officer about the same time as a gunshot went off.  He saw an officer gripping his arm and then another one, which made a dog yelp.  Officers were running after the direction of the shots.  "The big fir tree!" he called, heading for the dog.  Most everyone was with the officer.  "Shh, baby.  It's all right, I'm a friend.  My boys are cops."  He stroked his head, hearing the growl.  "It's all right.  I promise.  Just relax and let me help you."  He got his harness undone, seeing the shot.  "He's got one in the side," he called.  No one came over.

"Well, shit."  He looked down, seeing the bright red, thick blood.  Lung shot.  Not good.  His own dogs were standing guard over him and he was trying to stop the bleeding.  An officer finally came over.  "He got hit in the lung," he said.  "Get him someone or get a car to bring him to the nearest vets."  He ran off.  "Shh, baby, I've got you.  You'll be okay.  Just rest on the Xander," he soothed, stroking over his head.  "You're a good boy.  You've been a very good boy.  Your master loves you and wants you to get better," he soothed, keeping the dog calm and staying still.  He kept trying to get up.  The wounded officer finally got free and came over. "Lung shot," he said quietly.  "Shh, baby.  Your master loves you.  You've been a very good officer and a good boy.  A very good boy," he soothed, changing his grip on the wound.  It slowed better but the dog let out a tired sounding yelp.  He looked at the officer.  "Yours?"  He nodded.  "Soothe him.  He needs it."

"You're a good boy," he promised, leaning down to whisper in his ear.

Xander looked over as someone came running.  Paramedics.  "Can you guys help with the K-9 officer too?"  One nodded and came over.  "It's a lung shot."  He shifted so they could get in.  "Spot, move.  He's helping."  The dogs backed up a few steps and sat down again.  One let out a small whimper.  "It'll be okay," he promised, looking at his dog.  "I promise it will be."  He looked at the paramedic again since he had on gloves now.  "Ready?"  He nodded so Xander moved his hands, letting him have the dog's side.  He had lost a lot of blood but the paramedic found the bleeding spot and got it clamped off for now.

The officer looked at him.  "He goes first."

"Of course.  He's more seriously injured."  He whistled at someone.  "Get a car here now!  He needs a vet!"  Someone went running to get a cruiser.  "Shh, good boy."

"You're a very good boy," Xander agreed.  The dog barked quietly.  "Shh, just rest for now.  It'll help and the daddy will be right there with you later."  The officer looked at him.  "I would be.  It's comforting."

"Thank you."

Xander nodded and got out of the way when the cruiser pulled up, whistling to bring his dogs with him.  His mental alarm started to go off again and he ducked another shot.  His dogs went after the person who was trying to hurt the daddy.  "Spots!  Heel!"

"Let them," someone called.  He came jogging over, helping lift the dog up with the paramedic.  His officer got into the cruiser under his dog's head, and that was all there was to that argument.  Once they had taken off he came over to look at Xander.  "Mr. Harris."

"Henry," he said, looking up at him.  "I did what I could."

"Thank you."  He helped him up.  "Come on, let's get you a bit more cleaned up."  His dogs chased someone their direction, and he did have a gun.  "Boys, gun!  Hit 'em!" he shouted.  The other dogs got the running person down and shrieking for mercy.

"Spots!" Xander called again.  They came over to pant at his feet, one of them dropping some cloth.  "Good boys!"  He petted them both.  Then he winced at the blood. "Let daddy clean up and we'll play."  They walked over to a water fountain and he used it to clean his hands off, then his poor dog's heads off.  Then he petted them, making them happy puppies.  "Daddy loves you guys.  You're good boys."  They barked and looked around.  "We'll play when we get home."  Someone tossed over a tennis ball and he smiled, tossing it for them.  They ran after it and brought it back, letting him wear out some stress.

Chief Henry, the head of the K-9 unit came back, catching the ball this time.  Both dogs stared at him, heads tipped and tails wagging.  "Small problem.  The cloth's not from the guy on the ground."

"Was he the one who shot at us?"

"Maybe not," he admitted.   "We'll take you back to the station."

"I drove. I can follow."

"Sure.  You do that.  We'll bag the fabric and maybe they can figure out who it came from.  Good boys to follow and fetch."  He petted them both and handed over dog biscuits.  "Now I see why you trained them."

Xander smiled proudly.  "They're very good at it and Don's been making them check any poker winnings for drugs."

"Maybe you should train one for bombs and one for drugs."  He walked him back to the car and got him inside.  "Go right back to the detective's squad, Xander."

"Yes, Henry.  Is he going to be okay?"

"We can only hope."

"I tried."

"I know.  You did very good helping him.  Go for now, okay?"  Xander nodded and headed back there.  He turned.  "Let's clean this up," he called. "Bag that sample for CSI.  His gun too.  It's possible he's not the guy who fired the third shot."  They nodded and got to work, all of them avoiding the puddles of blood.

***

Xander pulled back into the station and got out, walking both dogs inside.  "Chief Henry told me to wait here.  Someone shot at the dog trials and got one of the K-9 officers," he told the receptionist.  "I'm to go up to the detectives' floor and wait."

"Go ahead, Xander. I'll sign you all in.  What happened?"

"Someone shot a human officer then one of the dogs in the side," he said quietly.  "We were handling that one and they took the furry officer off then someone fired a third shot and my boys here went after him.  They brought back fabric but apparently didn't belong to the guy who came running and screaming out of the trees with a gun out."  She just nodded.  "So we're seeing."  That got a small smile.  "So mark me up there please."  He got them into the elevator and out, running into Frank and Ray's backs.  "It got shot at," he told Frank.  Frank moaned.  "One of the furry officers isn't in good shape.  It was a lung shot, Frank."

"They'll handle it, Xander.  Don's not back yet. He had to chase someone on foot."  Xander nodded, going back to Don's desk. Frank wandered off muttering 'crap' over and over under his breath until he got to Dispatch.  "What happened at the dog trials?"  The tapes were handed over. He listened to them off to the side, shaking his head.  "So they brought back fabric that didn't belong to the guy with the gun who came running away from them?"  She nodded.  "Interesting."  He walked out, finding Horatio soothing Xander.  "He's fine.  The sample of fabric they caught didn't belong to the guy with the gun?"

"All I know is that my dogs took off after the guy who fired the third shot.  Henry said to let them since he knows they're trained.  They chased some other guy out of the woods with his gun out openly and the other K-9s got him.  Henry said the fabric sample didn't belong to him though."

"So it's possible they didn't manage to bring down the other guy but they found a spare?"

"Or possibly the first one.  I'm not sure if he got caught or not," Xander offered. "Not a clue yet but Chief Henry told me to wait here."

"That's fine, Xander.  They did good protecting you and you did the right thing heading for the dog," Horatio promised.  Xander gave him a weak smile.  "Don's fine, I'm sure of it."

Danny came jogging back in and looked at Xander.  "What's up?"

"Someone tried to kill me at the K-9 trials."

"Excuse me?"

Xander nodded.  "But both dogs did very good."  They barked at that.  "They did."  He petted them both.  "Where's Don?"

"He's fine."

Xander stared at him.  "Define fine."

"There was this swinging bar that nearly ripped his head off his neck but he's fine, Xander.  He ducked when he saw it coming."  Xander opened his mouth.  "He's *fine*," he said more firmly.  Xander sighed and nodded.  "Good."  He looked at Horatio.  "Threatening letter?"  It was handed over in the sealed bag.  "Where's the envelope?"

"On the couch.  I told Ryan that since Frank handed it to him before telling me to go watch the dogs.  They were very confused by them.  Heads tipped to the side and everything," he offered, petting both his dogs to stop the growling at the guy glaring at them.  "Chief," he said.

"Mr. Harris.  Thank you."

"Is he all right?"  He shook his head.  Xander wilted. "I tried."

"I know you did and you kept him calm.  His last minutes were filled with many praises and love.  It was how he would've wanted to go out."  Xander nodded, sniffling some. "Now, what happened?"

"Tapes are in Dispatch," Frank told him.  That got a nod and he went that way.  "Xander, we're going to need to take a statement, okay?"  Xander nodded, turning to the computer to open up the notepad program and type it out.  "Good boy."  He patted him on the head like he would the dogs.  "Just stay calm for now."  He looked over as the Chief came back.  "How's the human officer?"

"He's the one who died," he said quietly.  "He went to the vets and refused to go to the ER until he was sure his dog was all right.  The dog's still in surgery."  Xander looked at him.  "You did your best, no matter what happens."

"Did they get the first shooter?"

"I'm finding that out now.  Who was hit first?"

"The human officer.  It hit his upper shoulder, next to his neck.  The dog was just a few seconds later and most of the officers either ran after the shooter or went to him.  I stayed with the dog since no one else was."

"Good.  That's what I wanted you to do, Xander.  The third shot?"

"I had gotten the paramedic over to help the poor furry officer and he took over.  I stood up and was looking around.  Both Spots had stood guard over us.  The third shot went off and they ran after the person.  Chief Henry said to let them."

"They're very well trained and we'll see who the cloth belongs to," he promised, smiling gently at him.  "Go ahead and finish the preliminary statement."  Xander nodded, going back to his typing.  He looked at Horatio.  "I want to know which one we caught, Horatio.  Immediately."

"Calleigh's on her way back to do the gun, Chief.  She responded on scene to do it there.  When she found out they had found a probable shooter she turned it over to Eric and came back with it."

"Thank you."  He walked off, going to manage the scene.

Horatio and Frank both hugged Xander then let him type while Horatio drew Danny off to talk about what happened to Don during his chase.  Because they still hadn't found who had pushed Xander off the road and killed him that time.  They hadn't acted since then but either the chase or the letter could be them.

***

Greg pounced Don when he came home, cuddling him.  "You're all right."

"I'm fine, Greg.  I ducked and everything."  He stroked his back, calming him down.  "It's all right but we could probably use you tomorrow."  Greg looked at him.  "We can.  Xander got mailed a death threat."

"Ryan told me so I bagged the envelope and brought it to him," he promised, leading him back to the living room.  "The mail's still untouched too."  He pointed at the record club mailing.  "When did we join one of those?"

"We didn't," Xander admitted. "But they did it in my name.  I've already called to cancel it and paid it since they used a card Steve got rid of after Willow and Buffy got captured."  He sat down and the dogs climbed into his lap, along with Hubert.  "Hey, baby.  Are the ferrets sleeping?"  The dragon nodded and settled in between the dogs to get his share of the petting.  "We're having a family meeting tonight, Greg."

"I heard and I've closed up the lab for the day," he promised.  "I'm here if Horatio needs me."  That got some smiles.  "Xander, are you all right?"

"The third shot didn't get anywhere near me, Greg."

"Not what I meant and you know it."

"I'm a bit sad.  The human officer died while they were helping his partner.  His partner will be okay but he's being retired."  He shrugged.  "I'm sure he'll have a loving family to go to."  That got a hug from him.  "Don's head nearly came off," he said quietly.  "We could've lost him."

"Shh, we'll spoil Don.  He knows how much he means to us," Greg soothed.  Xander nodded and hugged Don too, letting him have one of the dogs to pet.

"I'm fine, guys.  It's all right."

"It's not all right.  Someone tried to take your head outside of the game," Xander said firmly.  "I want this person."

"So do we," Danny promised.  "We'll get him too. For right now, I want you to calm down.  No doing anything against him."

"Not even a curse to be caught?"

"No," Don said firmly.  "That's a last resort.  Let us do it our way first, Xander."

"I'm not..."  They all glared at him.  "I can help!"

"Xander, we want you to stay pampered and protected," Don said firmly.  "That's why you came to me, remember."

"Don, I've fought in a battle before!"

"I heard.  I don't care.  You're not part of the lab.  The lab will handle this and there's enough that're family to help us," he said firmly, pulling Xander over to cuddle.  "I'm more worried that someone tried to shoot you and we got a death threat here at the house."  Xander slumped and cuddled him.  "You're protecting yourself and the animals.  This isn't someone trying to end the world.  This is someone trying to out immies and we're handling it.  Just protect yourself for now."  Xander frowned but nodded.  "Thank you.  You're too precious to lose."  He kissed him on the forehead then let him go.  "Does this mean I can have ice cream for dinner?"  Danny snorted but nodded, smirking at him.  "Good.  Someone get us dinner.  No calling Fu's, Xander."

"Not even about earlier or the death threat?"

"Let us try it our way first," Danny ordered. "That way you don't get more compromised in that land of acquaintances."

Greg looked at him. "How was the earlier poker date?"

"I did okay, nothing spectacular."

"Like gas money okay or like few grand okay?" Greg teased.  Xander blushed a bit but stared at him with a small grin.  "Few grand okay?"  Xander nodded.  "Where is it?"

"In the bank. I came in complaining about the IRS.  They all understood and the last person who owes me money finally paid."

"Congrats."  He gave him another kiss.  "I saw the IRS envelope."

"They encourage me to come in to fix the mistake I made in reporting my identity."

"Then you'll do that tomorrow," Don ordered.  "Can't get much more protected than that."  Xander sighed and nodded. "Best to get it out of the way sooner, Xan."  He kissed him gently.  "Now, calm down and go order us something for dinner?"  Xander went to do that.  "Not Chinese."

"Yes, Don."

"Thank you."  The two CSI shared a look and Greg went to cuddle Xander with the dogs, who were still being protective of the daddy.  Don looked at the dragon.  "Did anyone come today?"  The dragon gave him a smug look.  "Is that a yes?"  He snorted and walked over to the door that lead to the mirror house across the realm.  Danny came to open it, gun in hand, Don behind him.  They found a gibbering young man wearing bike messenger's clothes.  "Come on," Don ordered.  "MDPD."  The man cried and clutched him, crying on him.  "Come on."  He walked him back to the other front lawn while Danny checked the rest of the house with the dragon.  "Now, what are you doing here?"

"I came to deliver a message," he said, digging it out.  "They paid me to deliver it here. Then a dragon attacked me and I nearly got eaten!  It shoved me over there and it's strange!  What is going on!"

Don looked at him and tapped his badge.   "First of all, were you in the house?"

"The front door was open!"

"I don't care.  That's still breaking and entering, kid."  The guy wilted.  "We'll see what we can do when you tell us who sent the message."  He called dispatch to get a car over there for the guy, looking at the message.  It got handed to Horatio when he showed up as well.  "Hubert shoved him over there and shut the door on him."

"It's a smart move.   You can't get out when the door's closed."  He walked over to question the messenger from the back of the patrol car. When he got everything he could and decided the kid hadn't meant to do anything illegal, he let the officers drive him back to his dispatch office.  He looked at the note again. //This is your lucky day. Your old man ain't here.  Just you and me, Danny boy.  Tonight, grainery.  8pm.//   Unsigned.  It was not a good omen.  "Danny?"   He came out looking confused.  He let him have the message and Danny glared at it.  "A sword problem or a family one?"

"Family of the old sort," he said bitterly.  "Tell Mac.  He'll want this one. I'm not goin'."  He went back inside.

"We could trap him."

"It depends on how he got off the charges," he called as he walked off.  "Tell Mac now, Horatio."

Horatio did that, speaking quietly until Mac started to yell.  He even heard a swear word.  Mac did take down the address and promised to send Stella to get the note.  That she'd be able to explain everything to him.  He hung up and considered it.  So maybe it wasn't connected to the other things.  Which meant they had two or possibly three situations running concurrently.  That was not a good thing.  He went inside to get information on the other ones and tell them all what they had.  Especially Greg since he'd be coming in from the outside and was therefore vulnerable.

***

Xander looked up from his regular kata with his sword when someone coughed, sounding amused.  He looked at the man standing there.  Balding, a bit pudgy.  White guy.  Light hair.  "Do I know you?"

"No."

"Then why are you on my lawn?"

"I heard this is CSI Messer's house."

"No, it's my house.  Danny's a friend.  Why?" he asked blandly.  He wiped off his face and looked at him.  "I'm waiting."

"I wanna talk to Danny."

"He's at work. Leave a message.  Beep," he said flatly.

The guy laughed.  "That's real cute," he said, his natal New York accent coming out stronger.  "When will he be home, boy?"

Xander snorted.  "What makes you think I'm gonna tell you?  If you want something you tell me and I'll pass it on."

"You his secretary?"

"Like I said, he's a friend."  He glared at him.  "And?  I'm waiting.   You're interrupting my day."  The man sneered.  Xander pulled his gun and pointed it at him.  "Now, fuckwad."  The man backed up, hands up, but he didn't look too upset.  "HELP!"  The gate opened a few seconds later and the neighborhood patrol came rushing in.  "This guy wants Danny.  We've had death threats."

"I heard from Lieutenant Caine, sir," one of them agreed, pulling out his cuffs.  "Hands behind your back, sir."

"I'm here peacefully," he warned.

Xander yawned for show and put his gun back.  "Yay.  This way you'll get to see Danny sooner.  He wanted Danny."

"I'll call them.  If he's harmless they'll let them talk at the station.  Hands behind your back, sir."

"This was a bad mistake."

"And I'll have you eaten," Xander said with a shrug.  "So?  I played poker with the Mala Noches.  You don't scare me."  The man gaped in horror.  Xander smiled sweetly.  "Now, go with the nice guys.  They'll make sure you see Danny."  The guy burst free and ran for the gate.  The officers after him, the dogs running to help.  "Spots!  He's not the ball!"  They came back once the guy was past the gate.  Xander went inside to call Danny's cell, getting Calleigh. "Did Danny forget it?  No, not lunch.  I had someone come up while I was doing katas on the front lawn looking for him.  White guy, a bit pudgy, light hair.  Didn't say his name or give me a message.  Just demanded Danny.  I got tired of the verbal joust and called neighborhood patrol on him.  He just escaped.  Not a clue.  He said it was a bad mistake when I called them.  I mentioned some of the poker buddies and he didn't look too  unimpressed with that."  He smiled. "No, he said this was Danny's house and I told him it was mine and Danny was a friend. He didn't mention Don at all.  Thanks, Calleigh."  He hung up and went back outside, handing the guys bottles of water since they were back.  "I told Calleigh since she had Danny's phone."

"Thank you, Xander," the higher ranking officer said with a smile.  "Keep the dogs with you and the gate locked."

"I thought it was."

"Us too," he admitted, and they went to check that, taking off the scrambler.  They also called the neighborhood security people to check it just in case.

Xander looked at his dogs.  "Good boys."  They wagged their tails.  "Let daddy finish his morning workout and we'll play."  He got back to it, letting the dogs watch over him.

***

Calleigh hung up and looked at Horatio.  "That was Xander. A white guy, kinda pudgy, light hair just tried to get to Danny at the house.  He escaped the neighborhood patrol, Horatio."

"Take a picture of Danny's idiot accuser and see if it was him."  She nodded, going to do that, finding Danny coming out of the bathroom so she could hand back his phone and brief him.  "Mac?"

"I've got his full file," he promised, pulling it out to hand over.   "That's the only problem I can see following Danny.  Sonny Sassone."

Danny walked in and looked at the last picture.  Then he called Xander.  "Describe him?"  He listened then shrugged.  "Balding?  New Yorker?"  He nodded.  "Okay, stay safe.  Calleigh's coming with a picture.  If it's him we need ta know.  Because he's mafia and he tried ta say I was dirty, Xander."  He smiled at his outbreak of swearing.  "Exactly. So look really carefully when she gets there.  I agree, keep the dogs with you all day.  Play a lot of fetch with them.  They deserve it."  He hung up.  "It could be.  We'll see.  She can probably pull something off the community's gate cams.  I know we've got one on ours."

"Hopefully it's not someone new," Mac offered.

Danny shrugged.  "I'm hoping it's not the guy who tried ta take Flack's head off during a chase, Mac."

Mac looked horrified.  "Is that what the family meeting was about?"

"That and Xander nearly got shot at the dog trials," Frank agreed.  "Speaking of, Danny.  Chief wants to honor him."

"Xander'll hide."

"I figured as much. You might wanna talk to him, Horatio."

"I will."  He made a note to do that later after talking to Xander.  "For right now, we've got to weed out some of these problems."

"We will," Mac assured him. "Greg's good and helping you guys too."

"He is," Horatio agreed.  "He's handling the sniper attack in the park."  That got some nods and one smile.  "He was very upset that someone decided to shoot at the K-9 officer."

"You think they were aiming for him?" Danny asked.

"I do," Frank agreed.  "Someone there had video.  From the tentative position in the trees, he was aiming for the dog.  That specific dog since he was in the clear."  He put his feet down.  "Now what, Horatio?"

"Frank, work on that one with Greg please.  Eric and Ryan have the subtle assaults that are going on around us.  I'll work with Calleigh on this new one and Mac can figure out if this character is down here."  That got nods.  "I want updates as soon as we have anything.  Danny, handle your last case."

"Of course."  He walked off, going to handle that.  It was a triple homicide and he wanted to see someone dead for killing the mother and twins.  Horatio knew that and knew his temper was going to get out of hand if someone in the family was really hurt.

***

Xander woke up from a nap and found the same guy at the foot of the couch.  "Who the fuck are you?"

"Should've locked the doors, Mr. Harris."

"Yay me.  Hubert!"

"The lizard thingy?  It's locked in the kitchen with the dogs.  We should talk."

"I don't think so."  He sat up and looked at him.  "I really don't.  So, are you that Sonny guy?  Because that was a crap booking picture."

"No, I'm not him."

"Oh.  Okay.  So who are you then?"

"I'm here for Messer."

"Then I'd go to the station."

"See, I've got what he wants," he said smugly.

Xander snorted.  "Not like I'm a cooperative hostage."

"You will be or I'll shoot you."  Xander took off his shirt to show off the scars he carried, getting another small gape.   "You...."

"From Sunnydale.  Out by LA.  Yeah."  He lunged over and knocked him down, getting the knife from him.  He stabbed him in the stomach and pulled back, shrugging.  He got the gun free and called Horatio.  "Hey, boss?  I had to stab the guy from earlier.  He was standing at the foot of my couch and woke me from my nap.  Well, he did say he was going to shoot me and he said he wasn't that Sonny guy.  Still insists he wants Danny.  No, stomach.  That way you can ask him all sorts of stuff.  Please, Horatio?  Thanks."  He smiled as he hung up, giving him a fond pat on the head.  "Aren't you so cute," he cooed, smirking at him.  The man growled something and Xander slugged him across the jaw.  "That's for saying such rude things in my house.  Only Don and Danny get to swear in here unless I hurt myself."  He heard cars with sirens coming and went to unlock the gate, watching it not open.  He called the gate house.  "My gate's stuck and I've got a person here with a stomach wound.  Thank you."  The gate was forced open by them, letting in the paramedics and the officers.  "He woke me up from my nap.  Said I was going to be a hostage so he could get Danny," he told the officers.

"Lieutenant Caine said that, sir.  Can you please sit down?"

"Sure."  He sat down on the couch again, staring at him.  The man glared at him so he smiled and wiggled his fingers.  "Not to bad for a twenty-three-year-old gay guy from near LA, huh?" he asked fondly.  "Oh, guys, my pets are in the kitchen.  Can you please check on them?"  One of the officers went to check, coming back wincing.  "They all right?"

"The dogs are.  The lizard thing isn't looking too healthy, sir."  Xander bounced up and went to check, coming out to find the first aid kit and steal something off the paramedics then taking his dragon buddy to the vets.  They could find him.  One of the cars shadowed him.

The dogs sat down and stared at the paramedics, one woofing silently.  They looked up.  "He's a bad guy but we're taking him away."  The other one sniffed and growled.  "Did he hurt the lizard?"  That one barked and sniffed again, snapping at him.  The man shrieked and tried to move.  He looked down.  "Hurt their friend?" he asked bitterly.

"It's an evil thing!  It was going to eat me!"

"I'm sure," Ryan said as he stomped in.  "Who the fuck are you?"  The man looked surprised.  "Yeah, you get me, fucktard.  Now, name?"  The man started to babble and Ryan glared.  "Again, name?"  He babbled it.  "Thank you."  He typed that into the PDA from the hummer, getting his file.  "Huh, drug dealer.  Let me guess, you owed Xander money for poker debts?"

The man shook his head.  "No!"

"Then why did you want Danny?"

"Because he's got to be stopped!"

"Xander?"

"No, Messer!  He's a bad cop!"

"No he's not," Ryan said blandly.  "He's a very good cop.  He's a great CSI and a very good cop.  What's wrong, did he bust you?" he said facetiously.  The man moaned and nodded as he was shifted.  "Good!  Did you shoot the K-9 dog and the other officer?"  The man clamped his mouth shut.  "You could die and go to hell without confession and we'll pin it on you anyway."  The remaining officers gave him an odd look.  "Well?"

"They were stopping our drug trade!"

"No shit!  It's illegal.  Of course we are," he agreed.  "Get him out of here.  Officers, go with them.  Xander?"

"Took his lizard thing to the vets, CSI Wolfe.  He was bleeding on the kitchen floor.  We have a unit following him in case he's going to be arrested."

"I saw the blood.  Thank you."  They went with the suspect, going to make sure he couldn't escape this time.  He called Horatio. "Horatio, Ryan.  The guy who broke in was the one who confessed to shooting the dog and the officer.  It seems they were hampering his drug trade.  The ER with a pair of officers.  Xander stabbed him in the stomach but he apparently hurt Hubert so he took him to the vets.  There's an officer following him.  No, the dogs are fine.  Good boys, Spots."  They barked and he petted them and got them treats, making them happy dogs.  "Daddy has Hubert and he'll be fine.  Sure, I can process this.  He said he was the guy who shot the K-9 when I asked him.  Go right ahead, boss.  I told him if he didn't confess we'd pin more things on him."  He grinned.  "He did look a bit offended at that.  Yeah.  I'll be fine.  Both dogs are here."  He hung up and got to work on the fingerprints and the gun Xander had taken off him.  That was one of the big problems down.  Two or three more to go.

***

Xander looked up when Don stomped into the vet's office, hopping up to hug him.  "They're doing what they can but they're not sure exactly what has to be done."

"Shh.  It'll be okay. Hubert's a very strong baby dragon," he soothed, stroking his back.  Xander went limp against his chest.  "Shh, Xander.  I've got you."  Xander looked at him.  "He was the guy who shot the officers at the dog trial."  Xander nodded, hiding his face again.  "I've got you."  He looked at the nurse giving them a fond look.  "His baby dragon?"

"Is out of surgery and is resting.  He can go back once he's awake."  Xander looked at her, then walked over to hug her.  "He'll be just fine.  We closed the hole and took out the small piece of knife we found."  Xander nodded, going back to hugging Don.  "Get him seated.  That way he can't collapse again."

"He did?"

"He did," she agreed.  She went back to tell the doctor that a more sensible member of that family was there.  The officer was still silently sitting in the corner of the waiting area watching him.  She came back out. "Officer?"  He looked over.  "Need some coffee or something?"

"Take a break," Don ordered, holding up his badge.  "Frank's on his way."  That got a nod and the officer headed to the bathroom and to take her up on the offer of coffee from the break room.  Don went back to soothing Xander, looking over when Frank came in.  "Hubert should be fine.  Is he in trouble?"

"For stabbing the guy who broke into his house?  Not hardly.  The same prosecutor started off again and Horatio glared her to silence and whimpering."  He patted Xander on the head.  "He'll be fine, kid.  You know that."  Xander looked up, looking like a little kid.  "He'll be just fine and Ryan's been checking over the dogs."  Xander nodded, putting his head back down on Don's shoulder.  "We need a statement, Xander."  He pointed at a folded piece of paper on the magazine table.  "You wrote it out?"

"The officer said to," he said quietly.

"Sure.  Let's look at it."  He sat down across from Xander, pulling a chair closer so he could look at the information.  Xander had the style down very well.  He looked at him.  "He woke you up?"

"I woke up and he was standing there.  I don't know what woke me but I'm assuming it's him."  He looked at him.  "Did he live?"  Frank nodded.  "Pity."  He went back to his cuddling.

Frank gave him a faint smile.  "You know, the Chief wants to give you a commendation for helping the K-9 officer, Xander."

"I'll hide and never come out again."

"I'll make sure he knows that."  He reached over to pat him on the knee.  The officer came back out of the break room.  "Go ahead and clock out, Officer.  I've got him."

"Are we arresting him, sir?"

"No.  Not for stabbing the guy who broke into his house and said he was a hostage."  That got a nod and he walked off, going to write up his last report and head out for the day.    Frank looked at Xander again.  "It'll be okay."

"It won't be.  How did he get in and lock the gate?"

"Locked the gate?" Don asked.

"It wouldn't open."

"Huh.  We'll have to see. I didn't think it was possible."  He went back to soothing Xander, letting him hop up when the vet came out. "How's Hubert?"

"Just fine.  He's just now woken up."  Xander bounced on the balls of his feet.  "You can go see him but be aware he could be mean since he'll be in a little bit of pain.  I'm still not sure what sort of pain killers we can give him, Mr. Harris."  Xander nodded, following the nurse back there.  "He's yours?" he asked Don, who nodded.  "He did a good field dressing and got him here in more than enough time.  Good job teaching him."

"He's from near LA.  He's had to do it in the past," Don offered.  "Can I get that knife tip?"

"You can.  We also took pictures of the wound."  He went to get those for him, handing them over. "Was the person caught?"

"Oh, yeah.  Xander stabbed him," Frank agreed.  That got a smirk from the doctor.  "The dragon'll be fine?"

"He should be perfectly fine with some rest and healing time."  He smiled.  "You can both go back to see him if you want.  Xander's a bit high strung.  He was babbling and he sounded like he was on helium when he came in."  Don smiled at that, going back to check on their boy.  He looked at Frank.  "The officer had a taped statement from him."

"I'll make sure I get it tomorrow.  Thank you, Doctor."

"Not a problem.  We don't see too many exotics around here but it's a good thing we were close by."  He went back there, letting Frank call whoever then come join them.  He found Xander petting the dog through the bars, giving him a smile. "He was horribly injured the other day at a dog trial."

"I know.  I kept his bleeding down," Xander said quietly.  "You're a good boy."  The dog barked.  "Good boy.  You rest and heal."  He gave him one last pet then went back to his own baby.  "Hi, Hubert.  Oooh, my poor baby!"  He stroked over his head, getting a grunt.  "I know.  Being stabbed isn't fun.  I remember being stabbed."  The dragon looked at him.  "I was."  He went back to petting him. "When can he come lounge around the house?"

"Probably in a few days.  We'll want to monitor him at least for tonight."  The dragon grumbled and shook his head.  He blinked.  "He's intelligent?"

Xander smiled and nodded. "I told you he was a baby dragon."  The vet stared at him.  "I found him in a bazaar while traveling overseas."  He went back to petting him. "It'll be okay.  Even Danny can't complain when you hog his pillow, Hubert.  You're a good boy."  The dog barked so he smiled at him. "You are too.  I think he wants out to stretch for a minute."  The vet went to look at him and let him out to check his dressings, watching how he stood up.  "I have dalmatians."

"Who miss you," Don assured him.  He smiled at their pet.  "Hey, Hubert, should we bring you a treat tonight?  Maybe duck from Fu's?"

"Is that wise?" the vet tech asked.

"He eats from there a lot.  Fu loves him," Xander said with a small grin. He smiled at his baby.  "Want some duck?"  He belched and shook his head, putting it back down.  "Nap time?"  That got a small sigh of steam.  "Okay, we'll let you nap and we'll be in here as soon as we can in the morning, all right?  We'll bother them all night long."  The dragon purred at that and let the tech lift him into a cage and make him comfortable.  "He usually eats raw, rare, or teriyaki meat," he offered.  "Can I bring him some?"

"We'll feed him some wet dog food tonight. It'll be easier on his system then firm meat."  He nodded.  "It'll be fine and you can spoil him when he comes home."  Xander hugged her then the vet again, petting the dog too before letting Don walk him out.  He smiled at Frank.  "You're one spoiled exotic pet," she teased.  The dragon gave her a 'duh' look and she smiled.  "It'll be fine.  Try to eat tonight, okay?"  The dragon steamed but put his head back down.  "You rest, Hubert.  It'll probably be tomorrow before you can go home."  She went to help with the K-9 officer, putting him back into his cage since he was starting to look wobbly.  "You're a good boy," she soothed, stroking over his head.  He barked and let his tail wag a bit.  "If I knew what toy your master used I'd give it to you."  The dog put his head down.  "How about we give you a special chew bone?"  She went to get one, finding Xander making a call from his boyfriend's cellphone.  He hung up and handed her something, letting her run his credit card for the charges and expected charges.  Plus the chew toy since he handed one to her.  She let him sign the slip and then they left with the other officer behind them.   "They're adorable," she told the vet, who nodded.  She handed the dog the chew toy.  "From the human who petted you just now."  He settled in to gnaw on the toy.  It was good enough for now.

***

Xander walked into the house and fell down to hug his other pets, cuddling them to him.  "You guys are all right."

"They are, I checked them all," Ryan promised, petting his hair.  "Let them go."  Xander glared at him.  "When you can there's food."

"Not hungry."

"You still have to eat," Don said firmly.  He looked at Ryan.  "Frank's got the statement he wrote out."

"Sure.  The officer bagged and logged a taped statement too.  I already checked.  He fired the first and second shots at the dog trial.  We're pretty sure the fabric comes from the guy who shot the third shot.  It had some gunpowder residue on it.  The guy with the gun pulled it when he saw the dogs running after him.  He gave us a small description and we're weeding it down."  Xander looked up at him.  "That leaves us to find out if he's involved in your accident and Don's head being in danger by that flying piece."  Don shuddered.  "It'll be okay and everyone's coming over for dinner.  Danny came home to cook but he's making calls up there to see what's going on."  Don nodded, going to check on Danny while Xander finished his cuddling.  "Did Frank follow you guys?"

"He stopped to talk to the guard house," Xander said quietly.

"It'll be fine, Xander.  We're handling it," he reminded him.  Xander looked at him.  "I promise we are."  Xander nodded, letting the dogs go.  "After I got done I played many rounds of fetch with them until they were tired.  Now, come give me a cuddle?"  Xander came up to cuddle him, just resting against him.  "Good boy, Xander."  He stroked his back.  "Everything will be fine."

"Can't I curse them yet?"

"Not yet," he soothed.  "Soon.  If we can't handle it you can."  Horatio came in through the front door.  He handed over the postcard he had found from his nephew, getting a smile.  "Hubert will be fine."

"So Frank said.  Xander?"  Xander looked at him.  "We're very close to catching the person who endangered Don."  Xander nodded but went back to his cuddling.  "That's fine, a cuddle is a good thing at this moment."  Danny came back with his notes, handing them over and taking Xander to hold, making him sigh in pleasure.   He had known he was right to suggest Danny as his main keeper way back when.

***

Xander walked into the chinese restaurant and looked at the owner.  "Got a few?"

"I can't help you, Xander.  I do not know."

"I'm not wondering about the person who's targeting certain members of the family.  I'm not even wondering about the person who sent me the death threat and if they're the same person."  He nodded.  "They are?"  He nodded.  "Okay.  Thank you for that much.  I want to know about this new guy, Sonny, who came down to get Danny."

He considered it. "It's a difficult thing to be neutral."

"Can you hand me to someone who'd give me information?  We don't need this on top of the person who crashed my car, nearly took Don's head off, and sent me the death threat."

"In those cases, it's an organization almost.  Not quite."

"Interesting.  Anyone I can ask about Sassonne?"

"You could ask him yourself."

"I could but then I'd probably kill him."  He shrugged.  "We all know I fought nightmares, Fu."

"I have heard that," he admitted, smirking at him. "He's across the dining area.  He's actually going to sit in on your usual game."

"Charming."  He gave him a look, getting a shrug. "Is that ethical?"

"Your mates will scream."

"Ya think?  They told me I couldn't even ask or curse them."  He gave him a long look.  "By the way, thank you for sending Hubert the duck at the vet's.  He was very happy with it and it helped him feel much better.  What sort of mushrooms were those?"

"Magic."

"Ah.  Those.  That explains why he only belched and smiled all night.  Thank you."

"Welcome.  He isn't involved in that other problem.  Or the lab assaults."

"Another good thing to know. You know, my cruise ship is nearly finished."  That got a smile.  "They still haven't seen it yet.  Our planned trip got broken short when I had to marry the princess off."  That got a snicker.  "Thank you, Fu."  He looked around and spotted the guy in the pictures.  "I won't make you clean up."  He walked over there, turning a chair around and sitting in it backwards, staring at the guy.

"Who're you?"

"Messer's protectee."

The man stared for a minute, then smirked. "You're Harris."

"No shit.   You're upsetting my boys."

"Your boys?" he laughed.  "You have a gang now?"

"No, I have a hormone condition that can enslave this entire city and make them beg at my feet if I want."

Sonny smirked. "Prove it."  Xander raised an eyebrow and took the bracelet off that Ares had made him put on that morning.  He moaned and shifted.  "Enough!  Fine!"  Xander slipped it back on. "That's some strong shit."

"Yeah, and you're upsetting the people who keep me calm and out of trouble.  The only people who can make me back down.  Comprende vous?"

"You speak french?"

"I tried in high school.  That's about what I took out of it.  However I do speak Latin, Greek, a few demonic languages, and I read a few others."  Sonny blinked at that.  "That's the playground I grew up in.  Your streets have nothing on hunting former humans every night," he said blandly.  "I can have you turned if you upset Danny.  Remember, if he can't wear me out, I get worse and I've learned how to target others."  A small chime rang.  "If you're playing in my game, little boy, that's the signal."  He got up and went into the back room, weathering the stares.  "No, I'm not a happy camper.  Someone very stupid is upsetting my family and someone stabbed my baby dragon."  He put down a stack of money and got a nod from the dealer, who counted it and handed over chips.  "We doing real chips or just for show?"

"Real chips," the dealer offered.  Sonny came in with his refilled plate.  "That's fine.  Waiters come in periodically to get drink orders."  He looked at the others.  "We're missing two of the regulars."

"Horatio got Homer because one of his boys stabbed my dragon. The other one's hiding from me before I kill him," Xander said dryly.  "He tried to pay me in drugs again."  The dealer shuddered.  Xander leaned back and opened the door.  "Hey, Fu, tell Wyatt I'm not pleased with the poker buddy who paid me on Tuesday.  For the usual reasons.  And can I have my usual coke?"  That got a nod and one was brought in by Wyatt.  "Yeah, Stupid did it again.  Oh, and Horatio got Homer because one of his boys stabbed Hubert."

"Is your dragon gonna be all right?"

"Yeah, he'll be fine," Xander said with a small smile. "I got him to the vet's in time. He was standing there at the foot of the couch when I woke up."  Wyatt shuddered.  "He's damn lucky all I did was stab him."

"I'll let them know."

"Let the others know I'm looking for useable information, even quiet, on who's targeting my family?  The guy who rammed me, nearly got Don's head taken off, and sent me the death threat.  Please?"

"Sure.  The General wanted to know if you'd play against him."

"In the mood I'm in he'd win and gloat.   Tell him I will if he pays me."  That got a nod.  "Thanks, Wyatt.  How much?"

"Two like usual, Xander."  He handed over a ten.  "I'll run your tab."

"How's Econ?"

"Sucky."

"Hey, if you'd go straight, maybe Steve could use some help."

Wyatt patted him on the head.  "I like your fairytale world, Xander.  Remember that, okay?"  Xander grinned at him.  "I'm too illegit for him.  Besides, he doesn't do too many others, does he?"

"About thirty others but the IRS thing has been making him lose hair at alarming rates."

"Ah.  I noticed some shedding," he teased, yanking lightly on the braid he was wearing.  "Cute band.  Rubies?"  Xander beamed and nodded.  "Very cute bling.  Tasteful even.  Let me know when you need a refill and I'm taking tax accounting next semester."

"The IRS still says I don't exist.  I was down there this morning.  The other reason for the bad mood."

"I'll pass it around that you're looking."  He patted him on the head and walked out to tell his boss that, start the tab, and make sure someone knew he was down there playing poker with Sonny Sassone.

Xander leaned on the table. "I'm done.  You gonna eat during the game?  If so, I recommend the beef and peppers or the teriyaki anything.  My whole family likes it."  He grinned.  "We in?"

"We're in," the dealer agreed, starting to deal the first hand.  "Ante, boys."  Xander looked at his hand and folded, shaking his head.  The dealer smiled. "Luck not with you today?"

"Before the GHS convention in Vegas I lost for a week straight at baccarat.  I take those moods.  Usually when I'm pissed.  I promise not to hormone anyone else today."  That got some laughs from the other guys.  "Seriously, guys.  Not a happy camper by any means."  He sipped his soda and watched how the new boy played.  The next hand was all his and he won big, making Sonny sneer at him.  He smirked back. "I've got a Vegas file," he said proudly.  Sonny shuddered at that.  "Electronics are my friends."  The others gaped in horror.  "The same way I knew that we had bugs the last time, guys.  I can tell when they're gonna hit.  Horatio nearly spanked me the last time I got near one.  Greg did spank the last time I got near one.  Ryan just sighs and pulls me off.  Danny and Don simply stare in awe.  And Speed laughs his ass off because they deserve it."  That got some giggles from the dealer. "Don't I?"

"He does.  It's listed as a natural but unenhanced ability to know when electronic games are going to pay out."

"Which is why I only play poker and baccarat.  Because I'm evil."  He smiled sweetly at the dealer.

"Do you count cards?" one guy asked.

"Gut instinct.  Ryan taught me believe it or not.  My very first trip to Vegas."  That got some amused looks.  "Really.  We going again?"  The dealer dealt the next hand and he considered it.  It wasn't great.  It wasn't giving him that tingly feeling but he felt something.  Maybe he needed to eat.  He bet conservatively and came in second but that was fine.  Two low pairs was better than one high one, which was what most everyone else had.  Sonny kept watching him and he adjusted his bracelet, making him shudder.  He started to concentrate on breaking Sonny's roll of money, making him sweat and swear a few hands.  On the final one it was a double or nothing round and everyone but those two had stayed out of it.  Xander looked at his hands.  Bad hand.  Very bad hand.   He gave the dealer a look, getting a scared one back.  "Sonny, you wanna stick with this hand or redeal?"

"Redeal please."  He put them down, Xander put his down.  One of the other players took the cards to shuffle and deal.  "Better," he admitted.  He heard the wicked chuckle and moaned.  He was learning that was a bad sign.  The boy put down a full house, he had a trio.  He was so screwed.  "Give me a day to get the money?"

"Tell you what, you leave Danny the fuck alone evermore and leave my city before I have to go back to New York and start destroying the families up there.  You can even write him a nice little note.  I'll be hiding by then."  Sonny quirked an eyebrow up.  Xander leaned on the table and sipped his soda.  "Just think, Sonny.  I'm Danny's concubine.  His pet kitten."  He smirked at his moan of complaint. "Up to you.  You now owe me about six hundred thousand?" he asked the dealer, who nodded.  He looked at Sonny again.  "Leave me and mine the fuck alone.  Miami's my city and you're making me want to act out.  There's already enough going on down here."

"I'm retired, kid."

"Really?  Then you have no plans of going after Danny?  Don?  Mac?  Stella?"  He saw the flinch on Mac's name.  "Mine, pretty boy.  Very much my family."

"To some your harem," one guy joked to take some of the tension out of the air.

"True," Xander said with a grin for him.  "Mac makes a great harem guardian."  He looked at Sonny again.  "You leave me and my harem alone.  You can even stay in Miami as long as you leave me and my harem alone.  Permanently."

"Fine," he agreed.  "I do have some of the information you want."

"Baby, I pay for information but you haven't been here that long.  Trust me, there'll be others who'll be begging later."  Sonny gaped.  "Not for sex, stupid."  He stood up and gathered up his chips.  "Cash me out?"  The dealer counted them twice and cashed him out openly.  "Thanks, man.  Gotta make up for the IRS being twats somehow.  Laters."  He walked off, heading outside.  He found Frank staring at his car.  "In for lunch?  They were making a new batch of chicken gumbo for the Cajun guys who'll be playing tonight."

Frank looked at him.  "No, dumbass, I came to find you.  You were doing what?"

"A friendly game of poker to make up for the house taxes."  He shrugged and checked his car over then got in and headed back home with a cheery beep.  Sonny could now be destroyed if he didn't keep his word and he'd enjoy the hell out of that.  Let the others worry, he had plans now.

***

Frank found Don and Mac together on a scene and coughed, handing Don the letter.  "Someone at Fu's asked that I give that to one of Xander's bitches as he so kindly put it in his New York accent."

"Who?"

"Read it.  You'll wanna swear at the boy for making up for the house taxes too."

Don sighed and leaned against the hummer to read it, then looked at him.  "My boy is where?"

Frank smiled.   "He left with a cheery little beep.  Apparently he's going to make him honor that deal or else.  He had that look on his face, ya know?"

"Oh, I so do," Don agreed, handing it to Mac.  Who spluttered and groaned.  "Hey, you yell at me when I spit on the crime scene."

Mac glared at him then called Danny.  "Messer, Taylor.  Yes, there is a reason.  Because your toy decided to face down Sonny."  He listened to the story Xander had told him.  "Oooh, he didn't know Sonny would be there.  Interesting.  Fu introduced them, Don."

"Yay," he agreed happily.  "They played poker?"

"Xander said he won three years of house taxes off him.  The last one was a double or nothing round and Xander won it.  It was that deal or else he'd have a day to get the other six hundred thousand down here to pay him.  If he took it, he'd keep just the money he already had.  As long as he left all the family alone forever more according to what he told Danny."

"Which means he can be punished if he breaks it, right?" Frank asked.

"That works for me," Don agreed.  "So he's not a player in this?"  Frank shrugged.  Mac shook his head.  "None of it?"

"None of it.  Xander put out word that he was looking for information on who dared to crash into him and send him a death threat.  Oh, and that one of his usual poker buddies is in deep shit because he paid him in drugs again."

"Wonderful!  Can we arrest him now?"

"Xander gave him a day to fix it or else according to what Wyatt emailed Danny."  That got some nods from Frank and Don, and an evil smirk from Frank.  "Also, the ship's nearly done with the renovations."   He listened to the emails he had been forwarded.  "Someone knew.  Xander got information for us."

"Sometimes I love that boy but he still needs spanked."

"That'll be later, Frank," Don assured him.

Mac hung up and looked at him. "The crash, death threat, and your near beheading were all by the same group."

"Group?" Frank asked.

"Group," Mac agreed.  He looked at him.  "Not my branch, Don."

"The Watchers, like ran over Buffy and them?"  Mac nodded.  "Why?"

"Not a clue."

"Even better.  Can we get 'em?"

"We can," Mac agreed.  "Danny's already turned all that over to Greg and Horatio.  He sent Speed to beat your boy for you."

"He'll get it later from us," Don assured him.  "Shall we wrap this up?"

"We should," he agreed, getting back to work.

Frank smiled.  "At least we know."

"We do," Don agreed. "That's a good thing.  Any idea where Kowalski is today?"

"Home.  Adam's got stomach cramps for some reason."  Don looked at him.  "Yeah, I think they called off for sex too.  Either that or Adam did a bit more than throw his back this time trying to dance like Xander."

"Quite possibly," Don said dryly.  "I nearly broke my hip the last time I tried.  I don't know how Greg does it."  He and Mac shared a grin then they got back to work.  "Hey, Mac, there's a pen under him."

"I'll leave you two alone.  Have fun, boys. Let me know when my turn is?"

"Yup, we can do that," Don promised.

***

Speed walked in through the back door. "Xander?" he called.  He heard the squeak from the other house and walked through the special doorway.  "Xander?"  He followed the noises he was making and the dogs that came out to sniff him.  He found the ferrets and dogs playing in the pool while Xander counted and sorted things in the vault.  "Xander!"  He jumped and looked at him.  "Horatio said I'm to spank you for something?  Would you like to confess now or later?"

"I got the information we needed.  Plus I'll get to destroy Sonny if he comes near the family again.  It'll be my project of the week."  He smiled and went back to sorting out things.  "Do you think this is too big for a bracelet?" he asked, holding up an emerald.

Speed looked at it and nodded.  "Big ring or a small pendant."  He walked into the vault with him.  "How many times have we reminded you to only do stuff that won't get us in trouble, Xander?"

Xander looked at him. "I'm in fierce bitch mode, Speed.  No one touches what's mine.  Especially not a thug that tried to get him named a dirty cop.  So if he touches the family I'm going to destroy him.  I'll cackle pleasingly.  I'll make Hecate proud of my bitchy nature," he said firmly, staring him down.  Speed backed off.  "Now, wanna help?  Danny and Don agreed I could have a bit more bling but I had to use some of the stuff I had stored."

Speed sighed and sat down next to him, hugging him.  "I know it's been stressful, Xander, but it's being fixed.  We were having good leads."

"Didn't I send those to you guys?"

"You sent some to Danny."

"I sent more to Ryan.  Danny's inbox was bouncing."  He looked at him.  "The Watcher's Council, demonic ones not immie ones, have decided that immies are demonic and should be eliminated."

"Why?"

"Because they're stupid."

"Point."  He stroked over his hair.  "You still took a really big risk."

Xander smiled and kissed him on the cheek.  "It was the last round, a double or nothing round, Speed."  He went back to his sorting, holding something up.  "What about this one?"

"Pendant definitely.  Too girly for you."

Xander sighed and went back to sorting.  "There's not too many manly jewelry styles that aren't rapper's bling and that I won't look stupid in."

Speed hugged him again.  "It'll be all right.  We'll figure it out, Xander.  We can even go style looking."

"That would mean you'd have to go into a jewelry store," Xander told him.  "I know they still bother you."

"They do but we can look online."

"Don said I'm not allowed to shop online."

"So we won't shop, we'll make note of styles that you like," he pointed out.  "Half of this needs to go to the jewelry store."  Xander sighed.  "Come on.  I'll even ride with you while you go."  Xander nodded, bagging up what he wanted to take with him.  "And the tray of little stuff, Xander.  Almost none of that is men's size jewelry."  Xander nodded, doing that.  Then he handed that over so they could get up.  He grabbed a small lockbox to look inside then sighed and put it back, taking another one to look in.  That one got handed to Speed, along with a wooden box off a bottom shelf.  "What's this?"

"The wooden one is uncut gems.  The metal ones are cut ones."  He walked him out and got everything and everyone out of the vault so he could lock it, bringing the ferrets back to their cage and the dogs with them to the other house.  He shut the door and walked Speed out to the corvette. "Are you sure?  I mean, I know you've got that phobia."

"I'll stay in the car," he promised.  Xander nodded and got in to drive.  It was a nice day for the drive down there since they were halfway across the city.  Xander got out and walked around, getting the stuff from Speed's hands.  "Behave."

"I try."  He grinned and walked inside, nodding at his usual salesman.  Who beamed at him.  "I know, more presents.  Some even uncut."  The salesman gaped in horror.  "Seriously."  He put down the bag.  "I was sorting those out for bling potential but Speed said they're too big."  He opened the metal box.   Then the wooden box, watching his face.  "They were presents."

"Damn," he whispered, then he crossed himself.  "Let me get the manager.  Let's see what we need."  He went into the back, coming out with the manager.  "This is Mr. Harris.  He's a member of GHS."

"They're presents," he said with a small shrug.  "I've got plenty and my mentor said I had to get rid of some of it."  He leaned on the counter while he looked at them.

"How did you get uncut gems?"

"In a large box on the breakfast bar one morning," he offered, shrugging again at his odd look.  "I'm a level ten GHS member, sir.  I once got sent an eight foot chocolate representation of female genitalia with a six foot toy in white chocolate."  The man gaped and the salesman giggled at that.  "Seriously.  Along with pretty stuff from Cartier that was only fit for a woman.  I had to discourage that since I'm clearly not female.  But I was told I had to liquidate.  The safety deposit box is getting a bit tight."

"I see."  He looked at them again, running a few of the serial numbers through the stolen gem registry.  "Well."  He held up one.  "This one is listed as stolen."

"Sorry.  I don't deal with it beyond sighing in displeasure most of the time.  Please, send anything like that back to the owner. I have no desire to accept stolen things."  He heard the bell ring and looked back.  "Speed, are you sure?"

"I'm fine, Xander."  He walked over and patted him on the back.  "I'm pretty sure we won't get shot."

The manager looked at him then crossed himself.  "I heard what happened, detective. Get them seats."  The salesman went to do that while he checked the others he liked.  The uncut ones weren't in any database.  One matched a notice about stolen uncut stones out of Brazil but not perfectly.  He blinked at the ones he liked.  Then he looked at the boys who were looking at male jewelry.  "We could trade for some of it.  To be perfectly frank, there's too much here for our humble shop."

Xander looked at him and smiled. "I like the salesman who squeals over me so I come here first.  Then I have another place I can hit."  That got a nod and he went back to weeding out what he wanted. He looked at his usual salesman.  "I want to look a bit more rich," he said quietly.  "Have a bit of bling."

The salesman looked at him.  "What's your usual jewelry?"

"Hair clips."  He pulled his braid around to show him the one he was wearing. "Things like this.  Or my hairpins if I put it up due to the heat."

The salesman smiled and nodded, leading them to that section.  "We have a few of those, Xander.  What about necklaces?"

"I don't want to look too femme," he said, frowning a bit.  "Aiden said I walk that way already and with the hair I've already been picked on.  Especially when I'm in high squeal mode."

That got a smile.  "How about bracelets?"

"I was thinking about that.  Nothing too flashy but something subtle that'll go with the hair stuff?  We were kinda split on a stud earring."

"Not with your hair," Speed told him.

"Danny thought I wouldn't like it."  He looked at the salesman.  "I'm still worrying about silver and things."

"Silver's nice.  Gold is better.  Platinum is best," he offered.  He led them over to show them some of the platinum bracelets and chains.  Xander cooed over a few and they were brought up so he could look at them.  He smiled at Speed.  "Want a chair?"

"No, I'm okay.  I promise."  That got a smile and he looked at something, nudging Xander.  "What about that?"

Xander looked at the simple band then at him.  "It'd look better on yours than mine."  He pointed at another one.  "That's more Danny's style."  Speed smiled at that.  "Pay me back, Speed."  Speed gaped. "I mean it.  Pay me back.  Ten bucks a payday or whatever."

"You're sure?"

"I am."  Speed smiled and nodded, getting the ring to look at.  He looked at the other chains, pointing at one. "Can that be made into a bracelet?"

"It can be."  He pulled it out so Xander could look at it.  "Or we do have one like that but it's in the female's side."  He led him over there to look.  Someone else came in and he looked at him.  "We'll be right with you," he offered, letting Xander look at them.  He got a look and Xander nodded for him to handle them while he squatted down to look.  The manager locked the stones he wanted into a case and came over to help him.

"What about those three?" Xander asked, pointing at them.  They were brought out.  He smiled at how they looked against his wrist.  "Not too femme?"

"No, not in the least.  I would also suggest that one," he said, pointing at another one.  He saw Xander looking and gasped at the gun.  "Sir.  Please."

"I want the cash.  That's all I want.  Yours too," he demanded, pointing the gun at Speed.

"He's my boyfriend.  I'm the rich one," Xander said, coming over.  He looked at him.  "Why only the cash?  Jewelry is more universally acceptable."

"It's heavier and more easily traced."

"Oh.  Okay.  That makes sense."  He shrugged. "Pity I didn't bring my wallet."  The guy glared at him.  "I didn't."

"No more shit."

"Xander," Speed warned quietly. "Please."

Xander looked at him.  Then he sighed.  "You're damn lucky he's here."

"Why?   You gonna resist little boy?" the robber sneered.  Xander looked at Speed.  "No, at me."

Xander looked at him, then suddenly struck him in the throat with one hand grabbing the gun at the same time to make sure it was pointed at the ground.  The guy went down, leaving him with the gun.  "No, I'm a cooperative hostage."  He handed the gun to the manager and went back to his browsing.  "Speed?"

"Xander," he said calmly.  Xander looked at him.  "Thank you.  Next time, don't be mouthy."  He called dispatch.  "This is Speedle.  I'm watching over Harris at...  Yeah, we're there.  Someone came in to try to rob the store.  He picked on Harris.  Pity.  No, he doesn't need an ambulance but I don't have cuffs.  Thank you."  He hung up.  He looked at the guy.  "Move and I'll let him have you again."  Xander beamed at that.  "You're still being spanked for being mouthy."

"Sorry.  I didn't want to make you have flashbacks, Speed."   He gave him a hug, then went back to looking.  "What about this one?"

"I don't think you'll like that one.  What about this diamond dusted one?  For when you need the extra sparkle."  Xander looked, his head tipping from side to side while he thought.  Speed came over to look.  "I think it'll look great on him."

"I think so too," Speed agreed.  "There was one of those in platinum too."  Xander smiled at him.  He looked at the manager.  "Taking it out of the stones?"

"It would mean we could take more from him."

Xander grinned.  "Ask him how many I have.  He's done all my insurance estimates."  He looked at the salesman who pulled out the book to hand him. Xander stepped over the guy on the floor to look at the other one.  "I like them both.  Think Danny would mind, Speed?"

"Probably not much.  You'll need a new jewelry box, Xander."

"True.  Mine's really small and only holds my hair bands."  The manager got him to look at the ones they carried.  By the time the officers got there Xander had found all that he wanted and the manager had gotten a lot more stones than he had planned.  Xander was just so nice and charming.  There was a small blip when they filled out the sale forms but Xander handed over the letter from the social security people who said he had one but it wasn't registering in the system due to a recent virus attack.

"Did that help you with the IRS?" Speed asked.

"No and I used stuff from the spy shop to tape what they told me today.  So if they ever do find me again I have proof I tried to pay and they wouldn't accept it," he said, looking at him.  He shrugged.  "I tried really hard."

"I know you did," Speed soothed, looking at the officers.  "Please remove him?  The gun's on the counter."

"Yes, sir, but your boss said we were to stay around."

"He can wait in the car," Xander said firmly.  "Speed doesn't need this."  That got a nod and one of them drug the guy outside.  "Thank you, officers."  That got a smile.   "I got told I need more bling."   Horatio walked in.  "He offered, Horatio.  I didn't ask."

"I know.  He wouldn't normally suggest it."

"I got tired of what was on the radio so I came in, Horatio.  It was going fine until he came in."  Xander smiled at the manager when he came out with the check.  "We done?"

"We are," Xander agreed, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek and take his bags.  "Thank you.  If you guys need anything, call.  Please.  My boys get upset with the vault and stuff."  That got smiles and he walked out with Speed.  "Want to go with Horatio?"  He looked at the bag then at him, getting a pat to his pocket.  "Or we can go home."

"Go home, boys," Horatio ordered.  He made Speed pause.  "You're all right?"

"It was okay until then.  Xander and I talked about styles and things.  He took care of some of the stuff in the vault."  Horatio nodded at that.  "I'm fine.  Really.  He did ask the guy why he wanted to have only the money and not the jewels.  The guy told him and he said thank you politely then told him he hadn't brought his wallet."  Horatio shook his head and sighed.  "He wasn't going to do anything because of me, Horatio, but the guy made him."

"As long as he was cautious with you," Horatio said, looking at him.  "Go home with him, help him put things up."  Speed nodded and got into the corvette, so he went back inside.  "This is where he usually comes to deal with the present issue?" Horatio asked.  The salesman smiled and nodded.  "Good to know.  I've heard good things about your store from him."  He looked around, finding something that would look wonderful around Speed's neck.  He looked at the price tag then nodded.  "I want that one please.  Gift boxed."  He put down his card.  The salesman pulled it out so he could look at it more closely, making him happy.   It was finely done and so was the small book charm on the end that was dusted with emeralds.  His card was run and the necklace was gift boxed for him.  "Thank you."  He signed the slip and handed it back.

"Lieutenant," the manager said as he came over from giving a statement.  "A word of caution.  One of Mr. Harris's suitors has given him one stolen gem that we know of.  He claims he had no idea.  Also, he's been getting some uncut gems."  Horatio moaned.  "I would suggest he take care of those first and have someone go through the registry to see if anything else was."

"Everything I've done for him I've checked," the salesman assured him. "I know he's got a store built up that I haven't seen however."

Horatio nodded.  "Is there a way for someone not in the business to get into the registry?  Like his boyfriend, who is a member of the lab."

"There is."  He wrote out an address and password.  "Use that, Lieutenant.  That way he's not embarrassed if they do it again."  Horatio nodded at that.  "He does seem very nice.  They really left uncut gems on his breakfast bar?"

"It wouldn't surprise me," he admitted.  "I'll have them do that tonight.  Thank you."

"You're welcome.  We like Mr. Harris.  He buys all the little hair clips we can get in," the salesman assured him happily.  "They did decide to stick with those and bracelets since he wanted to look a bit more upstanding and fashionable.  An earring was nixed by Detective Speedle and he listened to his opinion on what to get."

"Thank you."  He smiled.  "Am I needed, gentlemen?"  The officers shook their heads.  "Then I'm going back to the lab.  Thank you as well, gentlemen," he said, nodding at the two salespeople.  He walked out, heading back to his hummer, gift going into the glovebox until he got home.  He got back there and handed Danny the slip of paper.  "We know one was stolen," he said quietly.  "Have him go over the other stones into the registry to make sure."  Danny nodded at that.  "They're at home."

"Is Speed okay?"

"He's fine.  Xander protected him.  The thief made Xander react but he did protect Speed."

"Good.  Now, how do I spank my boy for this?"

"For the store?" Don asked.  "Or for going to Sonny to make sure he don't come near us?"

"That one.  I can't yell about him taking stuff to sell off."

"He exchanged some for the new jewelry and some he sold," Horatio admitted.

"Good.  Anything else I should know?"

Horatio moved closer.  "There's uncut gems somewhere in one of the vaults, Danny."  Danny moaned.  "It was suggested those are a security risk."

"I'll handle that."  He walked off.  "Goin' home, boss."

"Have a good night, Danny.  You as well, Don."

"I'm not quite done yet but soon.  Tell him to save me dinner," Don called after Danny, getting a wave. He looked at Horatio. "Speed okay?"

"He'll be fine.  He started out waiting in the car but got bored."  He smiled and went up to his office to do some limited paperwork before he could go home.  He came out and checked his present, still there.  Then he went home.  Speed had a good dinner set out.  Candles.  Wine.  Mate in lounging pajamas he clearly stole off Xander.  He kissed him and handed him the present.  "Happy anniversary, Timmy."

"Happy anniversary, Horatio," he said with a smile, handing over his present.  "I'm paying him back before you ask."

Horatio opened his and smiled at the simple ring, sliding it onto his finger.  "It's a bit loose but I can have that taken care of tomorrow."  He kissed him again, letting Speed open his and smile at the whimsy of the present.  He even got to put it on his mate and sit down with him in his lap to feed him dinner.

***

Xander looked up from his jewelry sorting when Danny and Greg came in.  "Hi," he said, going back to it. His old jewelry box only held his hair clips and ties now.  His new one had the other stuff.  He held up one bracelet, getting an appreciative nod from Greg.  "Good choice?"

"Very good choice, I like that," Danny agreed.  He sat down on the bed and pulled Xander over, looking at him.  "However, bad choice in going after Sonny."

"I didn't plan on it. I planned on getting information during the poker game but he was there.  He also lost a lot."  Danny nodded at that. "He doesn't bluff very well either."  He kissed him, straddling his lap.  "I only went looking for information because this is going on too long."

"I can understand that," Danny promised, kissing him again. "I should still spank."

"For what?  I took advantage of the play that was in front of me."

Danny looked at him.  "For you being such a smart ass, Xander."  Xander blushed and tipped his face down.  "A few sent me direct emails.  A few even went directly to Ryan."  He spanked him, making him yelp.  "You and me, we're gonna talk about your mouth.  Remember the time in the subway when it got you in trouble?  Same thing different city."  Xander nodded, putting his head down on his shoulder.  "Your mouth needs a referee to call time outs, Xander.  I don't want you hurt because of it."

"I'm sorry."

"I know.  It's never intentional."  He stroked his back.  "I should still spank.  Even Frank wants to spank, Xander."  Xander gave him a pitiful look and he melted.  "No more and no more poker for three weeks."  Xander nodded, putting his head down again. "You've got more important stuff ta do.  We've got to go over the stones and things to make sure no others are stolen.  I can get us into the registry to make sure."  Xander nodded, cuddling him.  "Good boy."  He stroked his back.  "I'm not mad.  Just upset that your mouth got the better of you again."  Ryan walked in and pulled Xander up, making Xander look sheepish.  "His mouth has had this problem since we've known him, Wolfe."

"I've run into it before," he agreed. He stared Xander down, watching him wilt.  "You took Speed jewelry shopping?"

"I told him he didn't have to come.  He even came in after waiting in the car."

"Good.  I like that," Eric said from the doorway.  "The thief?"

"He made me.  Speed agreed.  I backed off because Speed said so.  He kept going and Speed gave me permission."

"Fine," Eric agreed, looking at him.   He gave him a kiss.  "We should all spank you for the poker thing today."

"I only wanted information.  He was there to play too.  He doesn't bluff very well either.  Plus he nibbled the whole game.  I'm hoping he had enough to cover his bill."  Ryan smirked at him. "I pretty well took what was in his pockets, Ryan.  He wanted a double or nothing round and that was my price so I didn't have to wait a day to get the other six hundred thousand he'd owe me."

"Fine.  We should still spank," Ryan told him.  "How did they get my email address?"

"Wyatt got it."

"Ah.  He's very industrious."  Xander grinned at that.  "Plus very naughty."

"He is."  Ryan kissed him and gave him a cuddle.  "I started on the bling shopping today," he said happily, showing them what he had gotten.  "Speed helped when he came in."

"It's cool," Eric agreed. "Not too flashy, not too subtle.  With your hair clips it'll look perfect."  Xander beamed.  "Now, let's eat."  Xander nodded, handing Danny the check from earlier.  "Need to go to the bank?"

"Yeah, I did what Danny wanted and Speed ordered, taking some of the stuff from the vault over."

"Good," Ryan agreed.

"One was stolen," Danny said dryly.

"Bad," Ryan agreed.

"We can search the others that have serial numbers," Xander promised.

"Good again."  Xander grinned at that.  "You keep saying you're bored."  They walked out into the kitchen, finding the mess from the dogs.  "Boys," Ryan chided.  The dogs slunk off.  "Eric, feed them."  He got out the dog food and fed the poor beasts, earning friends for life.  Then he went to feed the ferrets and Hubert since he was on the back of the couch.  Xander and Danny got to work in the kitchen while he cleaned up the mess.  They were just barely finishing it up when Don came in.  "You look happy."

"I am happy."

Xander hugged him. "I got some pretty stuff when I took some of the stuff from the vault to the store."

"Congrats.  Let's go look."  He led him into the bedroom to look, then to spank him for real.  Because Xander needed it.  He came out and looked at Danny.  "He proved he was the bigger badass by proving Sassone wasn't immune to the hormones.  Just enough to make him sweat. It was nearly twenty minutes before the game started so he wasn't banished for it."

"Wonderful," Danny agreed. "I hope like hell he bankrupts the entire Tanglewood gang for it."  He gave Xander a hug when he came out.  "No more going to play poker for three weeks."

"Yes, Danny.  Sorry, Don."

"No more, Xan.  You worry us when you do that."  He gave him a cuddle and kisses.  "Now, finish fixing dinner?  I'm starved.  I missed lunch."  Xander nodded and got back to work.  "Good boy.  It's very pretty stuff, Danny."

"He showed me.  Speed helped him pick out what he wanted."

"They have good taste together."

"It was Horatio and Speed's anniversary today too," Xander told them.  They all smiled and went to send them a joint 'happy anniversary' email.  Plus the promise from Greg of stepping in if they needed a day alone this week.  Xander rubbed his butt but it was okay.  Don did it because he loved him and he was never going to do it again or he'd get him for doing dangerous shit when he was only half trained as an immie, like taking a challenge earlier.  Because Danny and Ryan would both spank him for that and Eric would sulk.

"Why did you miss lunch?" Greg asked when they came back.

"Talking to someone in the park," Don offered.

Ryan looked at him.  "I heard about that."  Don went pale.

"Someone needs to practice more before I beat his ass," Danny said firmly. "Starting tonight with Ryan and Eric."

"Yes, Danny," he agreed meekly.

"Maybe it's not a Xander thing to do dumb, yet heroic stuff?" Eric suggested.  "It's a GHS thing?  I mean, Horatio has it, Don has it.  Xander has it.  Speed has it now and then."

"I'll see if I can correlate that," Greg offered, coming over to help Xander and Danny cook.  He wasn't great in the kitchen but he was decent enough to peel veggies and slice them.

Xander looked around at his family and it was all good again.  They knew who was doing the bad things so they could stop them.  Or else he'd get to destroy them.  He smiled happily and drug Don into the study to look at the pimp ride he had found.  Don smiled at it, nodding that he liked that.  "I want that."

"Only if you take the loose cash in the house to get it."  Xander pouted.  "I know it's for emergencies but yay."

"Yes, Don," he sighed.  He grabbed the keys and led him over to the other house's vault to gather up the first box of jewels so he could learn about these registration numbers he'd be looking up.  The first box and a magnifying glass later and he was all set in front of the computer with Don helping and teaching him.

A Long, Good Day.

Xander looked at his books of things he had then at the empty house.  "I need to hold a yard sale," he complained.  They had finally checked all the stones in the vaults and the bank to make sure they were all legal.  Only one other hadn't been and he had handed that to Horatio personally.  He looked at the piles of stuff he had.  He liked some of it.  Some of it was fond mementos of his travels.  Things like the lyre in his lap that was solid silver and had penises decorating it.  He strummed it casually.  He really should learn how to play something musical.  He had always wanted to and now he had time.  He plucked out a melody he had taught himself.  It wasn't great but it was something.  He stared at the books of stuff again and sighed.  Then he packed up his lyre and some of the cash from the office safe, locking everything else back up.  He checked the furry babies and the baby dragon, they were all down for a nap and had food and water.  So he went to get lunch and talk to their family's mentors.  He was even nice enough to bring lunch.  Even if it was burgers from the good burger place and two liters of soda from a drive-thru convenience store.  He walked in with the large bags, the lyre under his arm.  The receptionist nodded and smiled at him.  "Having doubts."

"They're all having a meeting, Xander."

"Did I do something more wrong?"

"No, this year's convention schedule I think."  She got him onto the elevator, nodding at one of the wandering CSI to go check his car.  "Xander's in for lunch."

"Good, I'm starved," Eric complained, going to get the rest out of the car.  He brought it up to where everyone else was, watching Xander lean against Danny's arm plucking that lyre of his.   "I can't believe you brought that in public."

Frank looked then spluttered.  "That's...."

"It's the only one I have," Xander protested.  "It's comforting."

Danny looked at him.  "You can learn ta play," he promised.  "Any instrument you want as long as you don't get complaints from the neighbors or keep us up."  Xander beamed and kissed him.  "Now, eat."  Xander dug into his burger, watching the others dig into their food.  "Before you ask, we're just now getting done with the meeting so you had good timing."  Horatio and Speed came in.  "He brought lunch and the lyre."

"Which one?" Speed asked.

"I only have the one, Speed."

"I thought I saw two listed."

"One's a lap harp."

"Oh."  He took the lyre to move his fingers over it then handed it back.  "Sounds like your third string's out of tune."  Xander plucked it and then tuned it with the strings around it.  "Better."   He dug into his lunch.  "So, what's the cause of the confusion?"

"I have too much stuff."

"You do," Horatio agreed.

"We've known that forever, Xander," Don agreed.

"But some of it's special stuff from the trips and things."

"Which is great but use some of the bags ta bundle those things up," Don ordered.  "One per trip or something."  Xander brightened at that.  "That's not an excuse to fill the rest of the space with crap."

"I won't."  He looked at him.  "What about more traveling?"

"I could stand that," Don agreed.  "As long as you were protected."

"I'm out of leave time," Ryan reminded them all.  "I'm working toward the convention this year."

"But I'd stay here on this planet and take Greg," Xander offered.  That got some thoughtful looks.  "We could go to Asia maybe?  India?"

"I can see you going to India," Danny agreed, considering it.  "As long as you didn't bring back a bazaar's worth of stuff this time."  Xander hugged him again.  "Eat."  Xander dug in again.  "Boss?"

"I can see that as well," Horatio agreed.  "We'd have to get him a medic alert so they wouldn't get caught with the latex allergy."  Xander nodded at that.  "They would have to be very careful as well."  Xander beamed at that.  "Any other places?"

"I was thinking about taking a week in one city and doing all the sights there then coming home."

"That's reasonable," Don agreed.  "Now, what about the stuff in the closet that's not fond memories of the trips?"

"Yard sale?"

"Not in our neighborhood," Don said patiently.  "They wouldn't like it."

Xander nodded.  "Charity?"

"Depends on what it is, Xander."

"I know.  I'm trying."

"Good.  Try harder."  He stroked over his hair.  "Eat.  You keep forgetting."  Xander ate another bite and drank some soda.  "Have you asked Greg yet?"

"Not yet.  I figured if he couldn't maybe I could steal Adam, Ray?"

"He's been nagging me about boredom," he admitted. "As long as nothing went on between you two."

"Which means he'd have to take someone else in the family," Horatio pointed out.

"True.  Sorry, Xander. But you can take him with you and whoever."

"Sure.  Do you think he can help me with the yard sale or whatever?"

"Maybe.  He's been bored."

"Cool."  He dug in again, then flipped his braid back over his back again.

"Did you trim the end?" Horatio asked.

"I had some bad breakage this morning," he admitted.  "I had to."

"I'll make sure it's the same length later," Horatio promised with a small smile.  Xander beamed at that.  "What were you thinking about getting rid of?"

"Some of the tapestries and things.  Some of them were gifts and some weren't.  That big stone monument to me in that one closet so I have the room.  Unless I want to go put it in the woods or something.  Maybe some of the stuff in the vaults?"

"I thought the money stuff was taken care of," Danny said.

"It is at the bank but I'm still not looking forward to next year's house taxes and the IRS stuff."

"You put it aside," Don reminded him.

"I did.  Doesn't mean they won't become vindictive."

"True.  They don't like making mistakes."  Don ate another bite and nudged Xander, who took a drink of his soda, his fingers playing with the strings on the lyre under the table.  "You can learn to play whenever you want, Xander.  It's a skill that could lead to a career in a later life," he said quietly.

"But then I might get famous and I'd be in trouble."

"Maybe, maybe not," Don promised, kissing him.  "Now, leave the lyre alone and eat.  It's time to eat, not play."  Xander went back to sipping his soda.  "No, I meant the food."  He took the lyre and handed it to Ryan, who shook his head and handed it on to Eric, who giggled and handed it to Calleigh, who blushed and Ray finally took it from her to put it on his lap.  "Thank you, now eat."  Xander dug into his burger.  "Good boy."  He went back to petting him, looking at Horatio.  "What about this year's convention?"

"Danny has enough leave saved up to go with him and you," he promised. "We'll probably go as well.  Greg should be able to go if he desires."  Ray nodded at that.  "He might even have something to present to the main and research councils by then."  He reached over to steal one of Xander's fries, getting a grin.  "Maybe Adam will know someone who might like the tapestries and things."

"Maybe I'll donate the stone monument to the brothel I go to teach the quarth how to dance at," he teased.

Don looked at him.  "You're still doing that?"

"Yup, and they scared Greggy.  One of my former clients is down here and he's a big guy.  I was showing off with them in the background, switching lead back and forth, and he popped in to hire them for a few hours.  Now, really nice guy and all but if anything of his touches you, you're kinda his until you die.  You become addicted.  So he's got these neat things he puts over his horns so it's safe and they have special things just in case.  But he ended up watching us with Madam Qui and Greggy.  He offered and Greg growled, and I growled and praised having Greggy.  They shared stories while we danced and Greg kinda sorta saw the size of him.  So Greg was asking questions about some of my former clients," he finished.  He ate another bite and realized everyone was staring at him.  "What?" he asked cautiously.  "I thought you all knew about my six weeks in New York."

"No, we did," Calleigh agreed.

"Define big," Ryan requested.

"Well, he's about seven foot something and he's got really pretty horns.  Ever seen the movie with the unicorns and Tom Cruise before he was an asshole?  Like him only taller.  About seven feet tall.  About your wrist around *that* way and about normal Greggy size on his horns when he covers the sharp points."  He ate another bite.

Eric shuddered.  "I didn't need that image, Xander."

"Ryan asked," Danny said dryly.  He looked at him.  "So you knew bigger things?"

"Yup.  I had four or five that were bigger."  He gave him a look.  "Why?"

"Wondering about certain things that have started to show up in the trunk under the bed," he admitted.  "I didn't think I was like that."  Xander blushed and ducked his head.  "Hey, if you like it like that now and then I'm good with it," he assured him.  He gave him a kiss.  "Every now and then, right?"

Xander nodded. "Even with the retightening charm I get sore.  Especially the night three of them came in together."  He sipped his soda and ate a fry.  "It was my highest night ever but I didn't walk right for four days even with my retightening charm."

"What's a retightening charm?" Frank asked.

"Just what it sounds like, Frank," Ryan told him.  He shivered at that mental image.  "They're handy things but you still end up sore."

Xander nodded.  "You can."  He looked at Don, then at Danny.  "Greg was building up the size queen things.  Did you want him to pick up anything for you guys?"

"We'll talk about that together later, in bed," Danny said, kissing him again, getting a grin.  "Behave."

"Sorry.  Forgot I'm in public."

"That's because you never get out anywhere but here," Frank pointed out.

"I go to the grocery store.  Of course, I nearly get snatched while I'm considering ice cream flavors."  He looked at Don.  "Mint or caramel?"

"Get both.  They can stay frozen."

"Okay."  He bounced some and Danny nudged his burger so he ate.  "Hubert's being a fussy dragon.  He's still napping on the back of the couch in the sun but he's being cranky because his side itches.  The guy at the dog trial, before everything went to hell, suggested I take the boys in for advanced training," he said proudly.  "Get one to do bombs and one to do drugs."

"That's not a bad idea," Horatio agreed. "Do they offer that?"

"They do.  They train guard dogs for professional people, like rock stars and them.  So I can get that there."  He beamed.  "They were still very confused by the obstacle course.  They tipped their heads to the side and stared like they weren't sure what their fellow furry things were doing."

"Dalmatians aren't the ones you'd usually expect in competition like that," Don offered, "but they might like it.  Plus it'd give you something else to do with them.  We could set up a small course on the front lawn, past the fountain."

Speed coughed. "I've never seen the stone monument."

"Really?  Come over tonight and I'll do dinner and let you guys see if there's anything in there you want to poach?"  They all shrugged and nodded.  "Then I'll put the rest of the stuff in the bags like Don suggested."  That got some smiles.  "Anything in particular we want for dinner?  Oooh, Danny, the outdoor kitchen idea?  Do we think we like it?  Or just a grill?"

"I don't mind trekking back and forth to the kitchen and the grill.  We could use a grill though.  I can pick out one soon."

"I was going to do it today."

"I'd rather do it.  That way it's got everything I want in one," he said firmly.

"I was going to let the guys at the home depot place over by the car dealership we got the corvette at tell me."

"No, I'll do it.  We'll look this weekend.  We'll do the steaks in the oven tonight."  Xander nodded and made a note on some paper from his pocket. "Get some veggies too."

"Yes, Danny."  He stole another kiss and finished his burger and soda.  He looked at the others.  "Anyone want anything other than steak?"  No one said anything.  "I've got to hit the grocery store anyway for ice cream."  That got some smiles.  "Sodas too."  He made another note and stole kisses, heading off.

"Xander, lyre," Eric called.  He jogged back to pick it up and walk off with it again.  He shook his head once Xander was gone.  "Well, he's feeling more comfortable again. He's back to bouncy and happy."

Don grinned.  "It's good that he can come to us for advice."

"Some of the tapestries are very pretty," Danny offered.  "So's some of the other stuff."  He looked at Horatio. "His new ID?"

"It's all set up and blessed by INS," he promised. "They were briefed by someone at Social Security and they agreed it was the only way around it."  Danny grinned at that.  "Is it still in the system?"

"Apparently.  Then again he didn't have a happy meeting with the IRS either."

"That may not be a problem any longer," Horatio noted.  "What about the land taxes?"

"It's the busy season so they're going to get to it when they have time," Don told him. "I called yesterday to nag.  They have the file.  The lady agreed something didn't look right.  They had the deeds in there and with that amount of land the taxes were really high.  So we'll see hopefully within a few weeks.  How much do you pay on your house?"

"About twelve thousand a year," he admitted.  "Land taxes are high."

"They are, but we paid two hundred grand," Danny complained.

"They'll put it toward the next few year's taxes," Don reminded him.

"Good!"

"Boys, it'll work out," Ryan reminded them.  They groaned and nodded.  It should work out.  If the system worked it should work out.  Otherwise Xander was going to go bankrupt in a few years.  Danny even sent a prayer to Cupid to help them if this was being caused by the new suitor of Xander's.

***

Xander got done with his final deal with the IRS and walked off happier.  The person at INS had to come help him since it had been declared that he had dual citizenship.  That had taken a pretty bribe but everything was going well at the moment.  He said a silent prayer to Strife to please keep Willow's plans away from him and his life since it was working at the moment.  He had a sudden urge to go shopping and looked up.  "I only have to get ferret food, Lord Strife.  Besides, the boys want me at home for the moment.  Can I go in the morning?"  The urge got stronger so he sighed and went wherever the urges drug him.  He ended up buying two new shirts that would look spectacular on Danny and then got kidnaped.  Which wasn't that unusual.  Him waking up in a harem setting was. He looked at the demon next to him.  "Are you the guardian or otherwise?"

"Guardian, Lord Xander."

"Not Lord anything," he corrected.  "I'm not a quarth."

"I know."  He got up.  "That is a proper title with your adoptive father."  Xander moaned.  "My master will be here soon and you will go back when and where you were if we can."  He bowed and left.

Xander leaned back on the pillows, listening to the subtle music playing around the room he was in.  It was nice. Maybe some day he could play a lyre like that. A well dressed human looking demon walked in and Xander sat up to look at him.  "Who're you?"

"I'm Vesvold.  I'm on the High Demonic Council."

"Are you also on Wolfram and Hart's?"

"No.  I know of their desires for you however."  He sat down across from Xander, looking at him.  "I mean you no harm."

"The others didn't think they did either but they still wanted to castrate me and things."

"True.  I would not. That takes away much of the joy in your life."

"Yes, but my joy is back at home."

"I can bring your animals and your harem."

Xander sighed.  "I'm not looking to expand, Vesvold, really I'm not.  I'm happy with what I've got."

"Yet they don't watch you very well."

"They do what they can.  We're human."

"Not truly."  Xander gave him a dirty look.  "You are not considered as such."

"But I consider myself that way."  He shifted, crossing his legs in front of him so he could lean on his knees.  "Vesvold, are you behind the current house tax problem or the IRS?"

"No, that was Miss Rosenburg."

"Ah.  Willow."  He nodded.  "That was my other idea on the subject."  He looked at him.  "I think you're a very handsome being, Vesvold, but I'm not looking to upgrade at this time."

"It is very prestigious to belong to a member of the High Council."

"So I've heard but I'm not sure you'd want me with what I used to do."

He laughed and reached over to stroke a finger down Xander's cheek.  "I know what you used to do, Xander.  All of it.  I've watched over you since you were a young man.  I have seen the younger twits who have upset you.  I have seen you hunt our kind when necessary.  Believe me, hunting vampires is next to nothing to us, young man.  That is also why I haven't sent lavish presents.  Though it seems you could use the money?"

"Now that the IRS is straightened out and as soon as the land taxes are, it'll be fine.  The system's fixing itself right now. Though I did have to do a lot of tapdancing to get the dual citizenship."

"You're welcome."

"Thank you."  He looked at him.  He could see the desire in his eyes.   "You would have to approach my keepers.  That is the only fair way."

"I understand.  Your family is sacred to you, as it should be.  The same as I know your patrons and they are still wobbling on my offers as far as I know."

"Then you must give me a day to warn them and then come talk to them yourself.  Make your own case.  It's a family and it's only fair that they know exactly what this would mean for them."

"They would probably turn it down."

"True.  Most of them are very wary of the demonic."

"As they should be.  Among my people, we simply exist."

"What sort are you?"

He smiled gently.  "You know that book of poetry you read to Gregory?  Those are from my people originally.  That book is translated to the lesser languages."

Xander blinked.  "You're..."  Vesvold smiled and nodded once.  "Wow. I thought you guys were mythical."

"We are.  There's not many of us left."  He stroked over Xander's cheek again.  "I have been here for untold centuries waiting for something to take my attention, Xander.  You have given me great joy just watching you go through life so far.  The pains and the triumphs."  He smiled more gently.  "I will talk to your boys, explain to them how I do not wish to own you, only cherish you, and them since they are yours.  Perhaps it would help?"

Xander shrugged. "I don't know."

"True.  They are yours but you cannot predict this one.  Especially after the bad day you'll have tomorrow."

"What sort of bad day?"

"Someone will decide to attack you."

"Again?"

"At the house.  Take what is yours."

Xander just nodded. "I can prevent that one.  Anything else I should know?"

"I am not harmful or addictive to you, Xander.  I never would be."  He leaned over to kiss him.  "Now, go home, young one."  Xander blinked and found himself back in his car.  Still in the harem clothes but his original ones were folded beside him.  The demon smiled and went to tell his mother that he had made his proposition.

***

Xander walked into the house, looking at the people there.  "Sorry, um, had to talk to someone since Strife wanted me to."  He walked into the basement of their house, going to find something he needed.  Then he brought the book out and out onto the lawn to work on the house's protections.

Greg frowned at Xander's body, waiting until he was outside to look at the others in the kitchen with him.  "Did he go out in the harem costume?"

"No, he wouldn't have.  He had to go to the IRS today," Don said, considering it.

"Uh-huh.  So he came home redressed in skimpy clothes and headed for the magic books."  Danny moaned.  "So either we've got a problem coming or we're in the middle of a new one."

"One's coming tomorrow.  I'm working on the house's protections and the new suitor finally called me for a talk," Xander said as he came in to get a drink.  He took the soda out of the fridge.  "He's a very old demon, harmless to us physically.  He's been watching me since I was very young.  Knows almost everything about me.  Doesn't want to castrate me.  His people are one of the founding races of intelligence among the demons.  They created one of the harder languages."  He opened it and took a sip.  "His name's Vesvold, he's on the High Demonic Council.  He said we're going to have an attack on the house tomorrow from someone.  Also I told him he had to come talk to you three."  He headed back outside.  "I'm working on the house's protections."

"Uh-huh," Don said, then walked out to get Xander and drag him back inside.  "So, Vesvold and you had a long talk?"

"Few minutes.  Apparently I spent some of it unconscious.  I woke up redressed, there was a guardian there to watch over me, and it felt magical.  Probably from the kidnaping."

"Did he touch you in other ways?" Greg asked.  Xander shook his head. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'd still be sore if he had.  I haven't had any yet this morning."

"Good point," Danny agreed. "No plugs or nothin'?"

"To the IRS?"

"Never mind."  That wasn't something he'd do either.  Xander jogged outside to get his book and soda since it was starting to drizzle, coming back sipping his soda.  "So, what do we do about this one?"

Xander sat at the breakfast bar.  "He said he hasn't sent lavish presents because he knew it would upset me.  He did say Willow was behind the land taxes and IRS stuff."  That got a mass nod.  "He's not on Wolfram and Hart's board but he did know that they're after me and why."  He took another sip, leaning on the book.  "I don't know."

"Do you like him?" Don asked.

Xander looked at him, frowning.  Don wilted at the look he got.  "I'm the insecure one, Don.  Quit or I'm taking your bike."  That got a smile so he looked at Danny again.  "I don't know what to tell you guys."

"Can we ask Cordelia for information?" Greg asked.

"You could if you could wake her up.  She got hit in the head and she's in the hospital."

"Damn it," Don sighed.  "Think she'll be okay?"

Xander looked at him and shrugged.  "I think if not she'd consider it a good death," he admitted calmly.  They all stared at him.  "Guys, do you know how many people I've seen die?  At the end of my stake, or at the hands of vampires?  Or even during graduation?"  They all shook their heads.  "Let's leave it at a lot then, okay?"  He went to the study to get back to work on the house's protections.  Even if he had to summon demons to eat them the house would be protected. And hey, he could do that without giving himself a headache.   Or at least too bad of a headache.

Danny put his hands on the counter and leaned on them.  "Okay.  Xander's apparently in battle mode again," he said quietly.  "Greg?"

"I haven't heard a thing about any of this," he admitted.

Don shook his head.  "Me either.  I liked Cordelia."

"Me too," Danny agreed. "We should call out there to see if there's anything we can do ta help."  Don went to find the phone and do that.  He looked at Greg again.  "Anything on this combat history?"

"Not like he tells me those things.  He likes to protect me, Danny."

"True.  And apparently the rest of us."  He pulled out his phone to call the one person Xander did talk to.  "Ryan.  Danny.  A few questions but you can answer from your own couch."  He listened to him say he wasn't on the couch but he did have his feet up.  "Good.  You rest.  Xander just pointed out he's seen a lot of death when we gave him funny looks because he stated very blandly that Cordelia had been seriously injured.  How many people has he seen die?"  He listened to the evasive answer. "Ryan."  He listened to the more firm answer and sighed.  "No wonder.  Thanks."  He hung up and went to hug Xander, earning him a confused look.  "You could talk to us about the Sunnydale stuff, Xander.  You really could."

"I gave the tapes to Don."

"I know.  I heard 'em late last year.  Made me wanna puke."  He stroked over his cheek, seeing him shiver.  "He did touch you?"

"He did that a few times and I'm sensitive to it at the moment."

"Got anything on his type of demon?"  Xander nodded and summoned another book, handing it over.  "Thanks.  Is it in English?"

"Latin."

"I learned it in church."  He sat down to read over it slowly.  It had been a while since he had worked with Latin.  Xander went back to his research.  "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to summon something to scare the piss outta whoever's going to attack the house and possibly to eat them."

"No demons in the house."

"Won't be," he promised. "Just on the lawn."  He turned the page and went on.  He suddenly looked up.  "You know, if something did happen to the house, the stuff over there would probably be trapped in that realm forever."

"Probably," Danny agreed, watching as Xander got up and went to find the bottomless bags to empty the closets and vaults into.  Then he shook his head and kept reading. They sounded nice so far.  Even the Watchers said so.  He looked up.  "A little guidance here?" he begged.

Ares appeared in Xander's former seat, his feet up on the desk.  "I like this chair."

"Make Xander buy you one," he said dryly.  Ares gave him a look.  "Sorry."

"That's all right. I come to expect such things from this family.  He's very nice.  Very upstanding.  Very intelligent."

"What does he want with Xander?"

"The same thing you do.  A wife."  Danny slumped some.  "He doesn't want to harm him.  Doesn't even want to castrate him.  Said it'd take the joy out of his life."  Danny nodded at that, staring at him.  "Then again, being with him would be highly beneficial for Xander in popularity.  At least until he died.  He could protect Xander from everything but he'd wither and die up there without human contact with you guys. Vesvold is a very old being for all that he's only in his mid thirties technically speaking.  He's one of the younger members on the High Council and he's from a dying breed. Being with Xander could very well get him killed and he knows this.  All they need is an excuse on the High Council.   He's very learned, very prosperous.  He was elected to it, didn't kill to get his seat, because he was so good at what he does."

"Wolfram and Hart?"

"He's already drafted a resolution about punishing them for going after the boy."

"Did they adopt it?"

"Yeah, and two of them took great pleasure in taking out future problems and possible assassination attempts."  Danny gaped.  "That's the way politics is, Danny."  Danny shut his mouth and nodded.  "Now, I don't favor Vesvold for him.  For the very simple reason that Xander would wither and die without the contact with his friends and family.  Then again, if he takes Xander for real, he won't be lasting that long either.  That would be an outrage for his people and they would kill him.  Even if his mother did agree to it. She's seen as a bit batty."

"When your population's nearly gone you don't want gay people or people who love outside your race," Danny said.

"Exactly.  Which could very well get Xander killed as well.  Because most demons do know what you are.  Him especially since so many of them have wanted him.  So they do know how to kill Xander when they go for him."  Vesvold appeared next to them, looking interested.  "Have you considered what this will do to your life?"

"I have.  My mother has.  They also consider him an addiction."

"He is," Danny agreed.  "Very addicting. I get really cranky when I go a day without Xander cuddles."  Xander squeaked at that.  "I do.  C'mere."  Xander came in and sat in his lap, getting cuddled.  He looked at Xander.  "Something Ares said makes a lot of sense and I want you to listen to him, Xander."

"Xander, there's a truth you may not realize.  His people are nearly extinct.  If he takes up with you the others will attack and kill him, and probably you, for not making him breed."

"I have three children," Vesvold complained.

"Yes, but if you go wrong by having me, would someone hurt them?" Xander asked quietly.  "The others of your people would worry that it's a quirk that could be passed on."

Vesvold sighed at that.  "We've already talked to the higher ones of my people, Xander.  They know of my desires and my plans.  They also made sure I had the three children before I came near you.  That's why I've watched you since you were eight."  Xander blushed at that.  "Including those incidences, yes."  He looked at Ares.  "It is a good point but it won't happen."

"The Fates said it would end your life and probably his if you ended up with him."  Vesvold looked devastated.  "We don't want that."

"Nor do I.  I would never harm Xander," he said firmly.  "I would give my life for him."

"Yes but they'll see and use that, Vesvold.  If it wasn't for that, they'd have some serious competition for Xander's affections once you started to woo him.  Cupid even said that.  Hell, you gave Aphrodite the sniffles the other day over your prayers to her."  He blushed a bit at that.  "The good kind."  He nodded, blushing harder.  "Right now you'd be about equal with Danny and Don for him.  Of course, Xander would wilt without his fun, Ryan and Greg."

"True.  I had not considered that."  He stared at Xander.  "I would still watch over you."

"I wouldn't mind a friendship with you, Vesvold.  Since I don't know anything about you I really wouldn't mind a friendship."

"It would be painful to see you and not touch you, but I could see that happening."

Danny gave him a look.  "Trust me, the reality is much different than watching him. Getting stuck with the hair pins in the middle of the night, pampering him when he's pouty, loving him the rest of the time.  Much different."

"Then I'll stick with friendship," he promised, bowing.  "Thank you, Lord Ares."

"It'll be hard, Vesvold, but sticking to that course would be for the best for everybody.   Now shoo, Xander's got to work on the house's defenses."

"I could lend him my warriors," he offered.

Ares smirked.  "We might have to take you up on that later on.  For right now, some imps should cure the present problem."  The demon nodded and left.  He looked at Xander and Danny once he was gone.  "You owe me," he told Danny telepathically, staring at Xander. "Imps."

"Only imps? I can't have them eaten?"

"No, Xander.  That's calling in favors."

"Crap."  Xander nodded and went to lay the traps.

Danny looked at him.  "Thank you for having the cooler and more logical head."

"Yeah, well, I'm making Aphrodite cranky at the moment."

"She wouldn't want him to die for it."

"True."

"Um, we had a question," Danny said before he could disappear.  Ares gave him an interested look.  "Xander said if something happened to the house here that anything over there could be stuck over there permanently?"

"True."

"Okay, just making sure."

"Destroy the doorway, destroy the exit."

"Okay.  So we need to get all the stuff over there out of there for good?"

"Might not be a bad idea, yeah."

"When can the unicorn foal go home?"

"Tomorrow but he can't do it if he's been doing things with demons.  I'll have Strife come open the portal so he won't have to."

"Thank you, Ares."

"Anything else?"

"No, just thank you."

"Welcome."  He disappeared.

Danny went back to the kitchen with the book.  "We lucked out.  Ares knew that the new guy would die if he took Xander in and talked him into staying friends for now."

"Probably until we all die," Greg said quietly.

"Probably," Don agreed. "So, this new guy was here?"

"He was.   He looked human.  About our age.  Seemed very nice but desperate for Xander in the same way we are."  That got a moan from Greg.  "Ares said he gave Aphrodite a case of the sniffles in the good way with his prayers about Xander."  Don slumped.  "But for right now he knows his life's in danger if he takes Xander.  That Xander's life may well be in danger if he has Xander.  Apparently his species is dying out."  That got nods.  "But he seemed genuinely nice and like he loved Xander for a while now," he finished quietly. "Ares said we'd have some competition if he came wooing Xander."

"I like the wooing idea.  I think it's something we should get back to with him ourselves," Greg offered.

"True.  It's time to get our woo on," Don agreed, making Danny moan and swat him for that.  "It is."  He smiled as Xander came in, giving him a hug.  "Should we take tomorrow off?"

"Ares said imps should be enough but I could use help stuffing things from the closets into the bags so we can bring them over here."

"Sure, let's do that," Don agreed.

"Ares did say that if the doorway was destroyed there's no other exits," Danny agreed.  That got a nod so they went to handle the closets together, bringing their dinners with them.  And Greg brought an extra plate to feed to Xander since apparently he had decided the soda was his.  Danny came up with the idea of an extra bag of stuff Xander didn't want to keep.  Not a lot went into it but it was handy that they were sorting things out and doing the inventory as it went.  He had good taste in what they had brought back.  Fabrics that were so soft they felt like baby's skin.  Leathers so soft you wouldn't have to break them in.  Tapestries that were of really good quality - some of which Don confiscated to hang up around the house.  Trinkets that amused or were cute. Jewelry that looked good on him or Greg.  A few of which got handed to Greg.  Pictures, painted and otherwise, that also went up around the house.  They brought those bags back to the house and came back to look at the statue behind the locked door.

"Xander as Priapus," Greg said, staring at the statue of Xander, a very well done Xander, with a huge dick sticking out and him stroking it.  The marble hand had separate fingers and the creator had even managed a bit of space between the fingers and the cock.  Not that a hand went all the way around it and it was a lot longer than Xander was as well, but it was a nice statue overall.

"I was thinking about donating it to Madam Qui's.  She's got some statues," Xander said.  "He's not that heavy.  I can levitate him if you guys can guard his head, feet, and cock."  That got a nod and they did that while Xander floated it up and out onto the other lawn.  It looked very nice next to the fountain he had put in out there.

"Was that a present?" Don asked.

"Yup."  He grinned. "Now and then it shoots stuff in the sunlight too.  That's why I had it behind the door."  He threw a tarp over it before anyone could say anything, going back inside to get a snack before they tackled the vault.

The others shared a look and smiled.  Some of Xander's suitors had very strange tastes.  They went to get their own snacks, then Danny grabbed the vault keys so they could empty that one and the new spare one out.  Because apparently Xander had needed another one.

***

Madam Qui, who was a very nice Quarth demon, looked at the statue that was being delivered.  "I had no idea I had ordered a statue."  The delivery drivers handed her an envelope.  "Thank you, dears."  They nodded and accepted their tips while she read the note.  "Oh, Xander," she sighed.   She shook her head and got a hammer to open the shipping case.  She blinked when she uncovered the front of the statue.  "Oh."  She touched it and sighed.  "Oh, dear."  She went to look up the number to the station where his boys would work.  Fortunately she had a few clients who worked there so she had it on file.  "Could you please connect me to either Detective Flack or CSI Messer?" she asked politely.  She waited through the hold music.  "Oh, Lieutenant, I didn't wish to bother you."  She heard that both of them were out.

"No, it's about the statue Xander sent me.  It's a bit..sympathetic with him.  No, as in if I touch it, he'll feel it.  I would assume that shooting problem would be his seed as well.  Well it would be a bit dangerous to leave it here."  One of her girls ran over to look at the new statue, teasing the balls on it.   "He should be feeling that.  Of course.  I'll keep it safe for today and try to keep the ladies off it.  It is *darling* work so if he knows who did it I would like the name.  Of course I'll keep it safe.  Thank you, Lieutenant.  I didn't think he wanted that to get out."  She hung up and shooed the women away from it.  "Now, ladies, Xander might be sleeping."  They giggled and ran off to check with the ones who would know if that was true size.

***

Xander shifted when he felt something touching his cock and balls.  "Vesvold...."

"That's from the statue, Xander.  It's sympathetic."  He groaned and covered his face, making the senior demon smile.  "Put it in the trees, Xander.  That way it gets some sun now and then since it takes some of your built up seed to do that."  He went back to his reading.  "Are you sure you wouldn't want me to send some of my guards?"

"I'm hoping the imps work since Danny didn't want me to summon anything to eat them."

"Are you that strong?"

"Barely.  I can open portals but it wipes me out for a day.  So I should be able to pull something smaller and meaner up."

"Perhaps.  By the way, they passed the first two imps."  Xander moaned and got up to deal with the people.  One of them was screaming and beating at the imp.  The others were focusing on him.  The other two were sneering at him.  "Oh, well.  You could've had the nice treatment."  He picked up the machine gun and slapped in the clip, pointing it at them.  "I brought down part of the military," he said in a sing-song voice.  "You're just thugs."  They backed off and turned to run.

Vesvold coughed and waved a hand.  His guards picked up those three and the one in the back yard, walking off with them.  They phased out and reappeared in the detective's squad, making a few scream and run off.  One of the guards nodded at the detective sitting there.  "Our boss is not impressed with how they tried to burn his friend's house.  Only one was scared by the imps.  He did not wish his friend to have to shoot them."  They put the boys down, patting them hard on the head.  "Good, humans.  Some year you may even be trainable as pets."   They nodded and faded out again, going back home.

Ray looked at them.  "Hey, got that stupid, huh?  Boys!  Need some cuffs!"  The patrol officers came over to arrest them.  "They apparently tried to burn Mr. Harris' house."  He was still smiling.  "A friend of his had his guards drop them off.  Hence the screaming."

"Got it, Detective Kowalski."  They drug them off to talk to them.

Ray shook his head and went back to his report. "It's safe, you can come back," he called. "The scary guys are gone now."

Frank stomped in.  "What is going on?  It's not lunch," he called.  His detectives went back to their desks. He looked at Frank.  "What happened?"

"Oh, the bad guys got brought in so we didn't have to use gas to get the guys who were going to burn Xander's house," Ray said dryly.  "By a new friend's guards or whatever."  He flicked a hand.  "Xander's probably fine."

Frank gaped at him.  "Did he call them?"

Ray looked at him.  "Ask Don."

Frank went to call Don.  "Would Xander have asked for favors?  Because they got brought here by some other things that made a few detectives run."

"And squeal.  Don't forget squealing," Ray called.

"And Ray said squealing."  He listened. "Oh.  Okay."  He just nodded and hung up, going to find Horatio.  "Maybe you should clean out the boy's library?"

"Vesvold is there, I just called over.  He's very enamored of Xander but not pushing his suit.  It was his decision to lend his guards since he didn't want to make Xander shoot them."

"Oh.  We should still probably take the magic books from him.  Don said he was summoning imps."

Horatio looked up.  "Danny said he couldn't summon anything to eat them."  Frank shook his head. "They'll be talking to him later."

"Good.  Thanks.  Because that stuff scares me."

"It does me as well," Horatio admitted.  "I was going to sic Ryan on him."  Frank smirked and walked off happier.  "Mr. Wolfe," he called.

"I heard," he called back.  "He doesn't go there often.  He's not strong enough to get anything really horrible.  But I'll remind him most people think it's creepy.  Plus take the books he got given later."

"Thank you, Mr. Wolfe."  He shook his head and got back to work.  It was in good hands.

***

Danny and Don got together over lunch to talk about Xander.  "That statue?"

"I heard. Where are we stashing it?"

"You know that small spot you wanted to put a bush in the trees?"  Danny smirked at that.  "There," Don ordered.  "Just out of sight but closer in case we need ta use it.  Can we use it?"

"We can if what she told Horatio was right.  We can try it later."  He ate another bite of lunch.  "There was a problem with the magic stuff earlier," Danny said between bites.

"We can confiscate it.  He don't need to be summoning things.  I don't like that either," Don told him.

Ryan walked in and sat down between them, looking at them.  "Anything about his magic  he's already told me he'd put all the *harmful* things back into a bag."  They smiled at that.  "That does leave the things with the potions, the healing stuff, and the wards and protections."

"Which works for me," Don agreed.

Danny nodded.  "I can agree with that."

"Good.   Now, before Vesvold or whoever intervened this morning he was going to shoot them."

"He goes into this crisis personality," Don said dryly.

"I've seen.  He's very good at it, but you guys called me about his former hunting recently."  They nodded, understanding that concern.  "We need to get him firmly recentered into his GHS side.  Somehow.  I leave that to you guys but if you need me, yell."  He got up and got his drink, heading off again.

"He's right," Danny agreed, licking off his fork.  "We should.  How?"

"The housekeeper issue?"

"Yeah, I'm still looking too," Danny agreed.  "Can we get the one from New York down here and give her a room or somethin'?"

"No.  Sorry."

"Damn."  He shrugged and put up his dishes.  "Any of the agencies?"

"Nope.  I'm looking at the ones who advertise in the paper.  So far none of them want to take us on since the house is so large and Xander'll be home."

"It happens.  We'll figure it out," Danny promised.  "Also, lawncare service?  The grass is getting high again."  Don finished up.  "I still hate that they quit because we arrested that one guy for trying ta steal."

"We can handle that too," Don agreed.  They nodded and went to find today's paper to start calling around. Don found a lawn service and called them.  Danny found a housekeeper service they hadn't heard of before to call.   When they were done they met back at the table.  "Okay, got a lawn service, they'll start today."

"Good.  I'm going to meet with the housekeeping service after dinner."

"Even better.  Will they do the litter boxes?"

"Xander said that they couldn't."

"True, but he forgot for over a day, especially the one out of the cages."

"True."  He nodded.   "It's nice they use plants though."  They got a candy bar out of the machine and split it, going back to their various tasks.

Frank looked at Don when he came back.  "We get it solved?"

"Yup.  He put up the books with the harmful stuff already.  We're getting a new lawn service and possibly a housekeeper.  Then we've got to get Xander back to the point where he's centered in his GHS side instead of the crisis side."  He sat down and looked at the messages that had landed on his desk.  He smiled at one.  "The lawn service is already there I see."

"Yeah.  They do some of your neighbors so they were in the neighborhood," Ray called from his desk.  "He was in high squeal mode too."

"Good.  It's good we can do that and spoil him senseless."  He found one from the tax department and called down there.  "Hi, this is Detective Flack returning a call to the auditor?"  He was connected over. "This is Detective Flack."  He listened and smirked.  "Thank you.  We wanted it put to the next few year's taxes if you could.  We knew it was wrong but with the problems we've had since one of his former friends was a hacker, we're not sure it wasn't her."  He listened to the details of what she had found.  "Oh, don't you worry, if I find her she's toast and then in a cell," he promised.  "She tried to take his social security number out of the system too."  He could hear the shudder.  "Exactly.  He's had to fall back on his dual citizenship.  Would that matter?  No, he and I are both native New Yorkers who came down here to work with the PD."  He smiled at her joke about native aliens.  "Basically," he agreed.  "Does that change things?"  He smiled.

"Thank you, ma'am.  I'll tell him.  Please, just so we have it on file in case she does it again.  Thank you.  Have a nice day."  He hung up and called Xander.  "You paid about five years worth of taxes on that place," he said dryly in greeting.  Xander squealed and babbled about the people cutting the lawn.  "I know.  They'll continue to.  I told 'em about the last place quitting because you found that one guy stealing.  They said it was stupid of 'em and they'll be more than happy to cut the grass for us, Xander.  Oh, is the statue back?"  He nodded.  "That's fine, we'll get a truck for a few hours and put it back later.  Thanks, babe.  Now, eat something."   He grinned.  "Good boy.  Love you too.  Be home in a few hours."  He hung up.  Then he looked up.  "Thank you whoever helped with that!" he said loudly. A small card landed beside him taped to a candy bar with a very simple 'you're welcome'.  He broke into the treat and got back to his other messages.  A few tips, someone returning the call since he had left his card on their door and they had heard about the break-in.  He went to find them since they had given a location.

Frank and Ray shared a smile and nodded.  "At least someone fixed one of them," Frank said.

"The IRS is throwing fits.  They had ta bring in the guy from INS to help.  Fortunately he could claim dual citizenship since he had land in another place too."  He shook his head.  "So he's paying at a slightly reduced rate and their rates are lower'n here.  It's better all around this way."  That got another smile.  "That was probably the land tax."

"Even better.  I knew it was stressing the boy out."

Danny and Ryan came out. "Hey, Frank, your case is full of stupid people," Danny told him.

"I'd expect that since it was a drug dealer on drug dealer shooting."

"Yeah, well, we figured out who and why and it wasn't the drugs.  He was sleeping with someone's sister.  Ryan made her admit to it earlier.  She got jealous he had picked the wrong sister. He was tryin' ta cover," Danny said dryly, handing over the forms.  "So she's already here too thanks ta Ryan."

"Great work, Wolfe.  Thanks."

"Welcome."  He smiled.  "Any word on the lawn and housekeeper stuff?"

"The lawn service is already there," Ray told them.  "Xander was in high squeal mode."

Danny smiled and nodded.  "Now all we gotta do is get that statue back from where he sent it and we'll be good."

Ryan looked at him.  "Statue?"

"The one behind the door."

"All I ever saw of it was the hole at the tip and the head."

"Basically you don't wanna see it," Danny said, patting him on the back. "It's tied into him somehow."  Ryan moaned at that, shaking his head.  "So, with where he donated it to, we could come home to a happy and sated boy tonight."  He gave him a look.  "Then all we've got to do is fix the vault situation."

"I'd almost rather he kept money on hand," Horatio said as he joined them.  "It's safer and means less traffic at the bank to piss Steve off."

"True," Danny agreed.  "We all liked that idea."  That got a smile.  "How big is this statue anyway?"

"His size," Ryan said.  "It's lifesize, all but the one part from what Xander said."

"How heavy is that?" Danny asked.  "We saw it already."

"It's marble, Danny.  It's heavy," Ryan assured him.

"That's fine.  We'll rent a truck then."  He looked at Frank. "Your other case with me?  Dead end."

"Why?"

"DNA on those hairs don't match in the system according to Valera."

"Ah," Horatio said.  "I had her check other systems," he said blandly.  Danny looked at him.  "Specifically PD and Federal systems.  It does have a match."  He handed that sheet over.  "Which means you need to talk to Mac."

"I do, don't I," he said happily, going to call him to see where he was.  "I'll let you know, Frank."

"Awww, can't I know now?" Frank called.

"Think hair, Frank," Horatio said smugly.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Ahhhh.  She wasn't near that scene when she was down here either."  Horatio smiled at that.  "Goodie.  Others will be very impressed."

"It'll stop some of Mac's nightmares."  He looked at Ryan, who shrugged.  "How is your last one?"

"The drug dealer?  The other one's sister shot him for sleeping with the wrong sister.  She was jealous she wasn't chosen to be his bitch."

"Interesting.  We have her?"

"In booking."

"Even better.  Any others?"

"Not really, not yet anyway."  He looked at his hand and smiled.  "Very nice."  He grinned at him.  "The vault stuff, am I going to have to ride escort?"

"Possibly."

"I can do that."  He walked off.

Frank looked at the same spot then smiled. "About time, Horatio.  Have a good anniversary?"

"Very good."  He smiled and walked off, going to tell Speed that Ryan approved of his taste in jewelry.  Speed would get him later.  After all, he had a paintball case and needed to shoot them at a target for splatter patterns.

***

Xander bounced over to his boys where they were moving the statue, floating it off so he could pounce them, making them both smile when they landed on the ground.  "I love you guys!"

"We're glad but can we move the statue where we want it?" Don asked, giving him a cuddle. "You can pounce inside, where it's softer."

"Okay."  He got off them and moved it where they wanted it to go, letting them arrange it.  They got it facing the way they wanted and then he got to pounce them inside for dinner.  Which meant they'd need food but he was satisfied enough with it.

***

The family got together to go over the security arrangements for taking the stuff to the bank.  A new safety deposit box had been rented and all they had to do was get it to the bank, which was halfway across the city.  A few snuck off to see the statue, coming back blushing. Xander just shrugged.

Horatio looked at the routes that were possible.  "How much is there?"

Xander looked at him. "That depends on us bringing the never ending bag or not."

"Without it."

"A good lot," he admitted, opening the closet in the study for him.  Horatio blinked.  "All that? Or should I keep some of the stones here for easier access?"

"Loose cash in reasonable amounts, and a small bag of stones for emergencies," Don ordered.  "Nothing that'll get us stolen from."  He looked.  "That's not our vault too, right?"  Xander slowly shook his head.  "Then where in the fuck did the rest come from?"

"One of my clients died and left me his warren.  He's the guy with the strange stone and the tips in stones."

Don sighed as he walked out to find something for his headache.

"Sorry, Don.  I just found out a few days ago.  I had to hire Angel to go clean it out for me."

"Any word on Cordy?" Danny asked.

"Still in the coma," he admitted.  "We're not sure if she'll wake up now.  Wes is throwing fits."  He looked at the closet then at Horatio.  "So, it depends on us using one of the special bags or not."

"Can those bigger boxes be broken down?"

"I'd rather not and the new box is big enough to hold it."

"We're sure?"

"Very.  I brought her out here to let her see how much stuff.  It'll hold it."

"Good."  He looked again then shook his head.  "He was a what?"

"An earth demon.  They horde and trade gems."

"Ah.  Polished ones as well I see."

"Some of the traded ones I'd suspect.  I've looked for serial numbers but they don't have any."

"Pity.  All right.  Can we get rid of any of that beforehand?"

"I've asked my jewelry guy and the guy I went to in New York.  The guys we dealt with in New York are coming in tomorrow morning.  Then we'll do this move tomorrow afternoon once they're done since they can do the insurance estimate for the bank as well."  Horatio smiled at that.  "They like my stuff.  They saw the original box the day Don made me put it in the bank up there."

"That's actually a good idea, Xander."  He patted him on the back.  "Do they know where they came from?"

"Presents."

"Good point."  He went back to studying the map in front of him.  "What time were we going?"

"The branch closes at three so we can get there about two, two-thirty it'd be best.  They're coming over at ten tomorrow. I've already put them in their hotel rooms and everything.  I'll give them access to both vaults and all this other stuff because there's one trunk that's being used as the coffee table in the living room."  Horatio sighed.  "So again, up to you about bags, boxes, whatever, Horatio."

He went to look at that trunk, making Don take another sip of his soda and another aspirin.  "How long has this been here?"

"About since we moved in."  He took another drink and went to hug Xander.  "That's been that full the whole time?"  Xander gave him a sheepish look but nodded.  He shook his head and went to not look at it some more.  He did send up a happy prayer to Cupid that he wasn't a higher level GHS and neither was Greg.  Even though his bloodwork bounced from six to four to six now and then.  He couldn't put up with two who were gifted like this.  He finished his soda and went to get another one, handing one to Xander.  He could only hope the New York guys could reduce some of that stuff.

"I could get a mausoleum in a cemetery and use one of those," Xander joked when he came back into the study.

"Not very safe but this new box is a vault, right?"  Xander nodded.  "Like the old society families vaults?"

"Yup.  Small one.  It'll fit that trunk and maybe a few things on top."  Don nodded at that.  "So we're hoping it'll all fit if we take the trunk.  If not, that they'll take a good portion of the trunk and then we can put most of this in there."

"What about in the vault over here?" Don asked.  Xander handed him the keys so he went to go look.  It was more statues and other small precious things. A few stones but not enough that he'd have to throw fits.  He locked it and came back upstairs, handing back the keys.  "I can handle that.  Horatio, how are we doing this?"

"For right now, I want us to take the back streets and maybe a cruiser," he offered. "One of the unmarked ones.  That'll make it bulletproof."

"We could take the new SUV," Xander offered.  They all stared at him.  "Don said I could get one."

"I did," he agreed. "I thought we were going to decide together."

"You were tired."

"Sorry.  Where is it?"

"Waiting to be picked up.  I was going to do that tomorrow afternoon.  It's bulletproof and it's got a decent sound system.  Plus it's very heavy."

Horatio looked at him.  "Hummer?"

"No.  It's a stretch Range Rover the size of an Expedition."  Horatio moaned at that. "The original guy didn't like how it looked so they had it on display. It's odd, one of the Discoveries so it doesn't look like a tank or a military vehicle really, but it's dark blue with black interior.  It's bulletproof.  I had them up that for me.  It's got a great sound system, equal to what's in the corvette.  It's got a back seat DVD system like the airlines do, so you could probably log online if you had wi-fi stuff."  Horatio smirked at that.  "I said I'd pick it up tomorrow after I hit the bank for gas money but I can probably get it today."

"We should do that," Horatio agreed.  "Speed?"  He came in from the kitchen, towel over his shoulder. "Go with Xander to pick up the new SUV."  Speed nodded, taking Xander to call a cab.  Xander got his wallet and shoes on.  "That could help," he said dryly.

"It could.  He said it had a surprise for us," Danny agreed from his seat in the corner.  "Greg was helping him pick out options the last I knew, Don."

"Is it going to fit with his new, hipper image?"

Danny nodded. "Yeah, we think so.  Greg would know."

"True."  They shared a look then smiled.  It was a Xander thing.  They had to love it for that much alone.  "How much did it cost him?"

"Steve said it was a lot less than he expected for a security vehicle."

"Huh."  They heard the cab pull in and the boys leave, then looked at Horatio.  "Should we check the vault?"

"I've talked with her, she said it was clear and big enough.  I had no idea we needed that much room."

Don nodded.  "Apparently.  Anyone want a soda?  I'm gonna go finish the dishes Speed left  until my headache goes away."

"Nah I'll get one in a few," Danny promised.  Don nodded, going that way.  He looked at Horatio.  "At least he's paying the department for this."

"He is and the money is greatly needed.  The boss loved this idea," he agreed.  "He thought there was just a small amount too."

"So did we, Horatio."  That got a smile.  They went over the possible routes and what trouble could crop up on the way.  One was a major intersection for accidents.  A while later they heard Don start to laugh hysterically so went to look at what he was seeing.  They saw the car.  "It's definitely unique."

"It is," Horatio agreed.  "I've never seen a stretch Range Rover."  He came out to look at it, finding the surprises in the back.  He smiled at Xander.  "Thought they needed the gear cabinets in the back?"

"I did," he said sheepishly.  Xander hugged him.  "Speed wants to drive it."

"It's got a good engine," Speed agreed. "Better than I'd expect."

"Me too," Don said, coming over to look.  The under-floor compartments put into the back held things like an extra scene kit and supplies.  A medical kit for emergencies.  A few new handguns and spare clips.  One held a box marked 'dangerous' that he didn't want to know about.  It also had two empty ones that Xander went into the house and came out with money, his emergency wallet for the house, and a small bag of gems got put into.  That got a smile from Horatio since it locked with a key.  Don went to look at the inside.  The front was like a normal SUV.  Bucket seats.  Stick shift.  The back seat was now like a limo.  Small bar.  Comfy bench seats.  He climbed in to sit and wiggled some.  He could like the soft seat coverings.  He saw the DVD player and small tv, smiling at it.  He got out and looked at the dividing wall between the trunk.  "Does that come down?"

"It lowers with a switch up front," Xander admitted.

"This is bigger than an Expedition, Xander," Danny said.

"Not the one I saw."

"Ah.  You probably saw a stretch one."  Xander shrugged. "S'nice."  Xander smiled at that.  "Do I wanna ask about that one box?"

"Probably not."

"Okay."  He left it there.  Horatio gave him a sideways look.  "What?  If I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know.  I'll trust him on that."

Greg drove in and parked, then came over to hug the back wall.  "Baby."

Xander beamed at him.  "They think we should use it to move the stuff to the bank."

"We should," Greg agreed.  "The thing's a tank, Xander."

"It is bulletproof?" Horatio asked Speed.

"Yup.  Rated to .50 caliber bullets.  I got the specs for you in case we need them."

"Excellent."  He closed the back hatches, then looked at the boys.  "We can use this."  Xander drug him up to the front, letting him see the under-car and rear-bumper cameras for safety during backing up.  "Even better."  He patted Xander on the head. "Very nice choice, Xander."

"Thank you."  He beamed at Greg then pounced him.  "You helped so you deserve some of the praise too."

"I do," he agreed, tickling him, making Xander shriek.

"Inside where it's soft, boys," Don ordered.  They ran inside to go play in the living room with the dogs since they were awake again.  Don looked at Horatio.  "I wanna see someone call this one the gaymobile."

"I'm having visions of what Horatio wants for the next mobile lab," Speed said, patting him on the back when he headed for the kitchen.

"I finished the dishes, Speed."

"Thanks.  How's the stuff in the oven?"

"Haven't checked," he admitted, going to help.

Danny and Horatio shared a look.  "Can I drive it just once to work, boss?"

"Sure.  If you can find a parking spot."  He smiled as he walked back inside.  It was definitely a secure vehicle.  Something that Xander needed now and then.  They had done good getting useful options onto it.

***

Xander offered the food to the men in the living room.   "It's done with Kosher rules," he offered.  That got some smiles. "I even got a Rabbi in to bless the kitchen."  That got more smiles and they all nibbled while they worked.  He left that with them and the tea pots since most of them had wanted tea.  Then he got the other food trays for the guards, putting that in the study.  "Here we go.  Nibbles."

"Thank you, Xander," Horatio said.

Mac nodded at him. "Thanks, kid.  So this new SUV cost you how much?"

"A lot."

"Like more than the hummers we use?" Mac asked.

"Nope."  He grinned and dug out the paperwork, handing it to him.  Mac whistled.  "It was already partially customed though."

"Yeah but I know some others who could use a security vehicle like that and Range Rovers are good cars."  One of the jewelers came in to check a stone's registry, making Mac get out of the way.  "We're planning on leaving about one-thirty if you think you'll be done."

"We'll be done within a few hours," he assured him with a smile.  "The others I heard you had?"

"In the other safety deposit box," Xander admitted, grimacing some.  "They had a new appraisal done when I had it switched down here."

"It's always wise," he agreed, reading the registry information.  "Hmm.  This one's not listed."

"Which means it doesn't have an owner, right?" Horatio asked.  The jeweler nodded.  "Would that indicate a less than legal suitor gave it to Xander?"

"Possibly, or someone within the business."

"One of them was into hording gems," Xander admitted.

"This one is fairly old," he agreed, going back to tell the others.  That did explain the lack of registry numbers and the amount of stones that had to come from India and South America by the colors.  They finished eating and sorting things out within the hour, handing over the appraisals to Steve since he was in and they had been told he was handling the boy's financial matters. Then the others were packed into the trunk in whatever cases they had been in.  They had kept the boy's original system.  Xander thanked them and took the checks, minus their fees, before they left, wishing them good travels in Hebrew, making most of them smile for the courtesy.  They were taken back to the hotel in cabs and their own cars, going to tell the others in their groups what they had bought.  It would mean a lot of new business and some stunning new pieces.

Horatio and Don got the last trunk and the few smaller cases from Xander, taking it to the bank with him in the back with it.  Steve and Mac went in his car to deposit the checks at the usual branch.  The new vault was at a minor branch since that's where one had become available.  It was even closer to the house.  A small accident did make them do a small detour and the one person who thought about shooting them was stopped by the unmarked cruiser riding escort with Ryan and Eric.  It went very well.  They got the trunk and other things into the bank together and Xander signed the forms, kissing his financial manager on the cheek.  She smiled and checked the invoices they had brought with them, nodding at the amount of stuff they were storing.  It was best held in a bank.   They came out and she got to look at Xander's new car, making her smile at it.  It was very secure and she knew who to go to now if she needed another drop like this one.  She saw Xander write out the money to Horatio and hand over the cash once he had gotten it cashed there.

Horatio handed it to Ryan and Eric, who took it back to the station.

Then they all went back to the house to have dinner.  It was a long day but well done.

They lounged around the patio set out back, sipping sodas or beers, eating the fried chicken they had picked up on the way home, and nibbling the pastries Xander had ordered that morning.  Eric and Ryan came back with the letter from the Chief for a receipt and handed that to Steve too, who went to make final copies for the office and the file he kept on Xander.  Then he came out to eat as well.

"You guys are amazing," Steve told them.  "Not even Jim could pull this one off without causing a car chase or something."

"Ellison?" Mac asked, smirking at him. "You're related to Jim?"

"He's my big brother," he said blandly.

"We had some joint unit operations back in the day.  Tell him I said hi."

"I will.  He's Cascade's main headache."

"The great ones always are," Mac agreed.  Don snickered at that.  "They are."

"Proves I won't be that great then.  I don't cause too many headaches."  He smiled at Xander. "But if you ever join the force...."

"Eww, college."

"Point."  He took a kiss.  "It'll be okay."

"Now what'll I do all day?"

"You know, we were talking about that last week," Ryan admitted.  "You know those charity rummage sales?"  Xander nodded.  "Why don't you carve little ornaments or animals or something for them?  You like to work in wood and your carving stuff so far has been pretty good."  Xander smiled at that compliment.  "So do that."

"Just no wood shavings in bed," Danny ordered.  "You can make 'em and paint 'em and all that."  Xander nodded at that.  "It's small, delicate work but you're good at that stuff too.  Plus more cooking classes, Xander."

"Cool."  He hugged his family then sat down again.  "I love you guys.  Thank you for the help earlier."

"Not a problem, Xander, but I would hope you'd make sure the others don't do this again?"

"No, I only had the one earth demon as a client."

"Is that where most of this came from?" Mac asked.  Xander nodded.  "What sort of earth demon?"

"Kinda like a mole.  They burrowed and horded gems, plus traded them.  He said he hadn't found as great of pleasure with anyone else so he died and left me his warren.  Oh, and that one vibrating stone.  Does anyone have any idea what that is?"

Ryan nodded.  "I did.  It came up with a high level of calcium and carbon.  When it didn't match a rock type in the computer I asked Ares and he said it was a keystone."  Xander frowned at that.  "For some types of portals.  Like the types that can be tuned from Hellmouths."

"Wow.  So Angel could use that in Sunnydale?"

"Probably."

"Huh.  I'll have to send it to Wes and see if he knows about them."

"I did.  He's begging.  His email said he'd crawl across the country on his knees.  Apparently there's some places that are like gateways to multiple realms and those traditionally go to those but can also be used that other way.  He said if you had two he'd beg and plead."

"I sent one to Oz to see if it helped or anything out there," Xander admitted. "But I have that one that gives me headaches in a special box in the vault. I could send him that one."

"Sure."  He smiled. "He'd probably hug you for it."

"He's kinda stiffly British. I doubt it'd get the cuddles from him."  Ryan smirked at that.  "Can I go give it to him?"

"No," everyone said together.

"Too dangerous," Frank noted.  "Sorry, kiddo."

"Especially with that law firm," Eric agreed.

"They're having their own problems," Xander admitted.  "Oooh, Angel called anyway.  Something about needing me for an apocalypse.  He needs another fighter."

"No," Ryan ordered.  "Sorry but no.  Ares just said no."

"Crap.  They might really need me."

"Tell him to get Spike.  We'll go drop that one off together," Ryan promised. "That way I can be a messenger anyway and we can pop in on Jace again for dinner.  Unless you wanted to go, Danny?"

"No, I'm cool with seeing her next year sometime."  That got a smile.  "Xander, about the wrinkles and things.  Think I could get one soon?"

"Yup.  I've got you a set and Don a set whenever you're ready."  That got smiles from them.  "Eric's is at his place."

"Thank you, Xander," Eric said.  "What about Ryan?"

"He'll be young and pretty for a while longer."  That got some mass smirks.  "He is."

"He is," Greg agreed.  "What's this I heard about a crossover case?"

Horatio looked at him.  "That is correct.  Las Vegas gave us notification today that they're looking for a suspect down here.  They're sending Nick and Warrick.  You can hide, Greg."

"I probably shouldn't."  He sipped his soda, looking down at Xander. "But he can be there."  That got smiles.  "Is Hodges coming down?"

"Not that I've heard of," Horatio offered.

"That's fine. I liked the other techs.  I said I'd find a way to put them up for vacation.  There's a few sleeping rooms at the lab and I'd let them use them for free if they wanted to come down."

"Nick and Warrick?" Speed asked.

"No, they can soak the department for a hotel room."  That got some smiles.  "I'm sorry but I'm still mad at Warrick for his stunt the last day I was there."

"While they're down here you could sneak back to Vegas and visit Hodges," Xander offered.

"No, Catherine probably told them to check on me.  I'll call her or Hodges again tonight."  That got another smile. "Thanks, guys."

"Welcome, Greg."  Xander grinned at everyone.  "I got a pie too.  Plus we've got ice cream again."  That got some laughs and they cleared things up so they could have dessert.  It was a well done day.

Sacred.

Notes: it was requested by Jaderose that they see Greg dancing.  So enjoy.

Greg looked up from his morning workout with Xander, seeing the two guys staring and Eric shaking his head as he walked around them.  "Um, Xander."  Xander paused in his movement and looked at them, waving.  "Hi, guys," Greg called.  "I can take a break."  He wiped off the sweat and flopped down on one of the loungers out there.  "Guys?" he prompted.

Warrick nudged Nick.  "You thought the video Hodges got of the one was bad?"

"Pet the Greggy," Nick mumbled.

"No, petting him is wrong.  He's not yours," Warrick said firmly, nudging him harder.  Nick shook his head.  "They're stopping so we can talk."

"Good.  Stopping is good."  Stopping would save his sanity because he knew he wasn't gay, even if he did feel the sudden urge to go onto his knees for Greg.  He walked up there, smiling at Greg.  "You look tanned and happy."

"I am tanned and happy.  I'm also doing great work with the GHS council.  We've got some strange allergies and I've found a few more.  Xander, Eric's inside."

"I saw."  He finished stretching then walked inside.  "Water, guys?"

"Water's fine, thank you," Warrick agreed.  Even though what he wanted was an ice pack to cool himself down.  Or a very long, slow pet to cool himself down after he got them both more sweaty.  He sat on Greg's other side.  "So, you live here?"

"Xander needs me now and then," he agreed happily. "Spots!  Hubert!"  The dogs and the dragon came bouncing out.  The dogs sniffed the new people and the dragon crawled into his lap since he was in the sun.  "I know, you're not liking the air conditioning at the moment."  He stroked his back and put him down by his feet, earning a happy purr.  "He's grown since the last time he was in Vegas and these two are very good boys," he praised, petting them.  "Go play."  They ran to play on the lawn.

Xander came back with glasses of water.   "Here you go, guys.  I won't release the ferrets to climb on you."  He smiled at Greg.  "I'm going to the office."

"Sure."  Xander smiled and went that way.  He sipped his water. "He's very protective of me."

"It's a good thing," Nick agreed, weighing the difference between the old Greg and this one.  "So, lab work?  Straight lab work?"

"Comparing samples against allergy models.  The group as a whole has funny reaction to some herbs.  I've found two new ones and had to note that some of them were in mixes already out on the market.  I've got my own lab downtown and an assistant even."  That got some smiles.  "Plus I fill in whenever Horatio needs me to so I'm staying involved."

"That's great," Warrick agreed.  "I'm hoping they're finishing what we couldn't."  Greg nodded.  "What were you doing when we came in?"

"That's a self defense and physical fitness regime Xander found on one of his travels.  It's got self defense and swordwork built into it.  Since Xander plays with swords we all do.  I'm getting pretty good.  I beat Ryan Wolfe most of the time now."  They smiled at that and he took another drink, petting the dog that came back. "What's up?"  The dog barked and wagged his tail.  "Go get the ball.  I'll play ball."  He ran inside to find the old tennis ball, bringing it back out.  He smiled and tossed it, watching as the dogs went nuts.  "They're actually guard trained."  He looked at Nick. "I'm very safe here."

"I'd hope so.  I've heard Xander gets problems now and then but he seems to have managed most of it."  He petted the dogs when they came back, throwing it for them.  They barked and ran after it.  "They're good."

"They're trained to sniff drugs too.  Xander has this nasty habit of playing poker with the underworld down here and now and then someone leaves him a sample.  They're very good at finding it."  They looked impressed at that.  He nudged Hubert with a toe.  "You still ache?"  He got a head shake and the dragon switched sides to lay on.  "He got stabbed during a break in a few months back."

"Poor little guy," Warrick said, taking the ball and throwing it, then wiping off the slobber.  He petted the dragon, earning some purrs.  "So you're really happier down here?"

"I am.  They like me.  Xander loves me.  We play all the time.  I'm needed.  They like me down here."

"We liked you too," Nick admitted.

"Yeah, you guys showed it in some odd ways too," Greg reminded him dryly.  "Down here I get 'good jobs' and cuddles when I do great things.  It's much better than Grissom's confused look when I did something good or had an idea."

"True," Warrick agreed.  "Caine gives cuddles?"

"No, but Danny cuddles me.  Ryan will if I ask.  Eric would if I asked.  We're kind of a family around Xander.  Danny and Don are Xander's keepers.  Ryan, Eric, and Frank Tripp are his protectors.  Horatio, Speed, Ray Kowalski, and his boyfriend are all advisers to the family.  Plus Mac and Stella ended up down here from New York when they shut their lab.  It's fun working with Stella."  They smiled at that.  "Down here's like a big, happy family most of the time."

"Until Ryan and I fight over something," Eric agreed when he came out.  "No new presents?"

"No, I think they're all wary of pissing off Vesvold, the guy who really loves Xander.  No new presents. No new poker games."

"I played last week," Xander called. "I only play once a week, Greggy."

"Okay, I stand corrected," Greg said happily.  "He is playing poker with the underworld again but not like he used to.  Did we win?" he called.

"Slightly."

"Like gas money slightly?"

"For the SUV."

"I guess even Xander's got to lose now and then," Eric said dryly.  "We have the worst time with him.  He's evil at poker and baccarat."  Warrick smiled at that.  "What was your game?"

"Blackjack."  He looked at Greg.  "We think he'll be okay?"

"We know he'll be fine.  Most of the stupid people he played with got weeded out.  Though I think one still owes him some money."

Xander came out.  "Thank you for reminding me.  Want lunch from Fu's today?"

"Sure.  Get me some barbeque spareribs too please."  Xander nodded and looked at Eric, who shook his head.  "You guys staying for lunch?"

"Nope, we're waiting to hear if the lab or anyone can find our guy," Nick said, smiling at him.  He looked at Eric.  "So you play bodyguard to Greggo too?"

"Only when we have to.  Usually he and Xander are okay together.  Just now and then there's problems."  He sipped his water and went to check on the dogs, finding them sniffing a burnt spot on the lawn.  "Xander, what happened to the lawn?"

"I fried the demon who popped in," he called.

"Is it dangerous?"

"No."  He came out of the house.  "Leave that alone, Spots."  They came running back with the ball so he settled in at the foot of Greg's lounger to play with them.  "The ferrets are all napping and Wyatt's bringing the payment he did send.  Still not all of it."

"Horatio said he's been busy," Greg reminded him.

"Too busy," Eric said grimly.  "The General still owes you money?"

"Yeah, and I'm going to start charging interest soon.  That's why he made a small down payment on the five mil he owes me."  Eric gaped in horror. "He challenged me to another game.  Not my fault."  He smiled. "Did we all take this weekend off?"

"We did, but we're not sure why."

"I'm taking the boat out.  It's fully renovated and you guys could use the weekend off."

"It's a pretty thing," Greg agreed. "Since I've been out with him on it, I'll work fill in for you and Ryan.  Have the day cruise, Eric."  That got a smile from him.  "He'll even have someone cook since it's got a huge kitchen."

"I look forward to seeing what you won off the gambling ship that you broke."

"You broke?" Warrick asked.  That was worse than his gambling problem!

"Long story short, Vice asked me to.  They were running drugs and refugees.  That way they could have a reason to bust them with proof.  I have a habit of knowing when slots are going to hit in addition to my evil nature at certain card games so I won the ship instead of their drug shipment."  He smiled.  "I actually won us free recently.  Some of the bigger guys were playing a game to see who was going to kidnap and keep us in the family.  I casually came in and sat down and played against them, freaking them out majorly since I had heard.  I managed to break them and get us all free of them.  Then turned them in for being stupid people."  Eric smirked at that. "Are they still in jail?"

"Yup.  Conspiracy to kidnap, rape, and murder.  Two took deals, the other one didn't."

"Cool.  Now all I need to do is to find the one guy who owes me a few grand and beat his head in."

"Which one now?" Greg demanded.

"Oh, one of the Noches.  Their third in command or something."  He shrugged.  "He can't bluff any better than Sassone can but I did point out that his plans to send people after Danny would be breaking his word and therefore I'd get to destroy his life and soul.  He laughed but someone apparently had a word with him about how I could do that."  He smiled sweetly at Warrick.  "Yes, Horatio already knows."

"I'm sure Eric will make sure of it," he agreed, getting the point.

"I still can't believe you're still playing poker," Eric complained.

"I'm bored!  It gets me out of the house, Eric."  He kicked at him with a bare foot.  "Unless you want to give me Ryan full time to amuse me, or build a stable and bring my horse here, I'm bored now and then."

"True," he agreed dryly.  He shuddered. "When was the last time you went riding?"

"I tried last night but he turned an ankle in the field last week so he's still babying it.  I did ride Princess with Ryan.  We took the three foals out on lines to let them go with us.  They had a lot of fun and the big fluffy one is getting very big now."  That got a smile from Nick.  "I adopted a foal from the ASPCA because his former owners had been mean.  He's mostly Fresian."

"He'll be a big horse," Nick agreed.  "I'm more used to quarter horses."

"Ryan's got warmares," Xander said proudly. "And two foals from them."  That got an amused look.  "Plus I've got a really big Arabian stallion."

"It's a herd," Greg agreed, bending down to pet Xander on the head.  "Go putter."  Xander sighed but went inside and the dogs stayed.  He leaned back again.  "Sorry, he's very protective."

"But we like that," Eric agreed. "Especially since it was you and Horatio they were playing cards to see who got."

"Point," he agreed happily.  "I helped bust a major drug ring."  That got smiles from his former coworkers.  "So, who are you guys down here to catch?"  Warrick handed over the picture from his pocket.  "Hey, Xander?"  He came back out took the picture.  "Do you play with him?"

"No but the General does."  He handed it back.  "They usually play at the country club today but he's not welcome there since he kept pawing the waitresses.  Um, might try the marina too.  He said he likes boats.  He was babbling when the General challenged the last time."

"Is this General guy a former military person or otherwise?"

"No, he's a foreign ambassador and a drug dealer," Xander said simply, going back into the house.  "Send Wyatt in when he gets here."

"Sure," Eric called.  "Don't tell him."

"I won't."

"Thank you."  He shook his head.  "Anyway," he sighed.  "At least you know more."

"It's a good lead," Nick agreed. "All you guys know he plays poker with that sort?"

"Yeah, we do.  We watch it to make sure they're not going to kill him, but we get busts when they piss Xander off, try to pay him with drugs, or try to kill him for winning so often."  That got a head shake from Warrick.

"When he first started playing with them he made about triple the cost of the house a week," Greg told them.  Warrick blanched at that.  "He plays high stakes."

"Very high stakes.  Doesn't he worry about them shooting him at the table or stuff?"

"No, because they know Xander would kill them," Eric said simply. "If not, they would piss off the *entire* lab, Mac's *entire* lab, and both units of Homicide detectives."

"Since pissing off Horatio is a good way to never be able to sleep with both eyes closed again they don't like to piss off Xander," Greg agreed, finishing his water.  The dogs looked at him.  "What?  Go ask the daddy for some."  They ran into the house to go check their bowls.  "They're incredibly well trained."  He waved at the car pulling in, pointing inside.  The blond guy getting out nodded and carried the large bag into the kitchen through the front door.  They all heard Xander babbling happily and then a 'damn it' but it was okay because Wyatt came out counting his tip and the fees for the food.  "The General not pay up as planned?"

"Not as much as he had planned," Wyatt admitted.  He looked at him then at Eric.  "Xander's about to go on a rip against him."

"Horatio would kiss him if he did," Eric reminded him.

"True, and a lot of people would like to see that. They think they'd be cuter together than anyone but him and Wolfe.  Even knowing the relationships."  He smirked.  "By the way, heard from Brazil recently?  There's some strife down that way. He might want to email again from what I've heard floating around."

"I'll let him know, Wyatt, thanks."

"Eeh, we miss the happy bouncy Xander that went shopping with Caine's nephew.  That kid was the best destroyer of boredom Xander's ever had.  It also gave others time to make enough money to pay him."

"The General makes too much as is," Eric said dryly, smirking at him.

"Point, but he does have a business to run."

"Not if he doesn't pay me he doesn't," Xander said dryly.  "And you can tell him interest started being charged last night.  One percent a day, every day."

"Accruing like general interest or special interest?"

"He doesn't speak that strange financial language," Greg reminded him.

"Like the interest from the day before earns new interest," Xander told him. "Like my special checking account does."

"Okay, I can do that," Wyatt agreed. "Fu can tell him."  He smiled.  "Anything else, Xander?"  Hubert lifted his head to look at him. "You got chicken today, Hubert."  He petted him.  "Good boy.  It's good that you're healed."

"Thanks," Xander said happily.  Wyatt nodded and left.  Xander handed Greg his food, the dragon his plate of chicken teriyaki, making him a happy lizard, then he sat down with his own.  "You guys sure?  There's extra."  They shook their heads.  "Greg, why don't you show them your lab?"

"I can do that.  Let me get dressed, guys."  He got up and headed inside to get dressed.  Nick was still staring at him.  It was almost unnerving.

***

Eric waited until they were in the car to look at Nick.  "Yes, they can both do that.  It's very erotic.  That was some of the least erotic of all of it.  Trust me, Xander has brought people off with it without realizing it.  Greg can do that now too.  So just relax about it.  I'll call Horatio while you guys go see his lab."  That got a nod and they headed after Greg.  Once they were inside he did call Horatio, warning him about the staring Nick had going too.  Just in case someone tried to smuggle him back to Las Vegas in his bag.

Nick looked around the lab.  "This is nice."

"Thank you.  Halley?"  She came out of the office. "These are Nick and Warrick. I used to work with them in Vegas.  Guys, this is Halley, my assistant."  She smiled and waved.  "She's a master's candidate in Chemistry locally."  He grinned at her.  "Anything new come in today?"

"A few new emails about a new herbal weight loss medicine.  I put it on your desk, Greg."

"Thanks.  So this is the main lab.  As you can see we're pretty informal around here."  He let them look at his piles and the piles of reports he had already done, making Nick smile.  "That's my office.  The messy desk is hers," he joked.

"Na-uh!"  She punched him on the arm.  "Meany.  Make me tell Xander you're a mean guy to me again."

"He only pounced me last time and made me go shirt shopping with him."

"True.  Maybe next time he'll spank."

Greg snorted.  "Sure he will," he said dryly.  They continued on the short tour, showing them the break room they shared with the chemist in the other half of the building.  She waved from behind her pharmaceutical magazine.  Then they went back down to head back to the lab.  "He need me in?"

"No, but he wants you to gently persuade Xander to act faster on the General."

"He said tomorrow, Eric."

"We know."  He grinned.  "He hates him, you know that."

"I do.  We'll get him soon."  That got a smirk.  "We will.  Xander's highly pissed at the guy.  Could they trace the money?"

"Nope.  Not yet.  We think he's got a supplier down there that's not amused with his poker habits either."

"As long as they don't try Xander."

"Horatio thinks he might go through the Mala Noches to get him if he does."

"I'll warn him.  Then again, half the Noches like Xander for some odd reason.  Or it could be that Xander staked something in front of them, I'm not real sure.  Remind the guys about the weekend cruise."  He waved and they pulled off, letting him go back to work.  Halley handed him a tums, making him a happy chemist again.  "Thanks."

"Welcome, Greg.  I'm wondering what she's doing now.  The stink is getting worse in our store room."

Greg went to sniff then groaned and shook his head. "That is the smell of drugs, dear Halley."  He called Horatio.  "Can you please come visit me at the lab, Horatio?  Because our storeroom smells like someone's making drugs.  Thank you."  He hung up and got back to work.  He got a few more slides and samples prepared, including ordering some of the diet drug online to get a sample for testing and putting out a notice that he could use some new blood samples within a few months.  Horatio and one of the K-9 officers with his dog showed up.  He let them into the room and the dog sneezed before sitting down. "I'm working on herbal stuff and allergies for a private group," Greg told him.  "I was LVPD in their lab.  Halley's a new chemistry major."

"We'll find it.  Do you know your neighbors?"

"The lab downstairs was empty the last time I knew.  The one next door is a drug maker of the legal sort the last time I heard her talking about what she was doing.  Something about Lupus drugs."  Horatio nodded at that.  "That's the only three labs in the building except for the very private and very secure lab on the top floor.  I've never seen anyone going into there."

"I have.  He's German. He was singing parts to a Wagner opera," Halley told him.  "In German.  His accent sounded natural.  My former neighbor's mother was and he sounded like her.  She was from wine country.  We've also smelled a lot of sulphur smells, Lieutenant.  I don't want to be blown up."

"I don't blame you," he agreed, smiling at her.  "We'll check the others, Halley.  Relax and let us work."  That got a nod.  "Are the labs centrally vented?"

"Yeah, into the basement," Greg told him. "I checked on that in case we had a fume reaction.  There's some strange shit in some of these compounds, including one that has trace amounts of opium."

"Wonderful. Have you reported it?"

"I've got one of the guys at the FDA on my email list.  He heard I was doing this and dealing with all these compounds to see what's in them so he wanted a list of what we found."  That got a nod and a smile.  "So it'll be okay," he promised.  "They know."

"Good.  Let's check that out.  Greg, please ask him to move faster on the General."

"He told Wyatt when he delivered lunch.  Wyatt joked about getting Fu to tell him.  He said he was going to start charging interest and he had had enough of that man and his business.  We'll have to see, Horatio.  You know Xander's a stubborn bastard at times."

"Yes we will.  Thank you, children."  He went with the officer.  That way they couldn't do anything with any chemicals that might hurt someone.  They started next door, checking with her.  "Ma'am, I'm Horatio Caine with the crime lab and this is Officer Fuentes with Kojack.  We've been called about smells that appear to be illegal drugs.  May we check your lab?"

"Please!  I hate that stink and I don't know who it's from!" she said angrily.  She got out of their way. "I know it's not me. I know it's not Sanders and his cute little helper over there.  So it's either the idiots downstairs or the ones upstairs.  My storage room *reeks*."

"Let's start there," the dog handler offered, letting her lead him around.  Horatio shook his head at one hit.  "Is this legal, ma'am?"

"I've got a license to buy limited quantities for my research," she promised, handing it over from her desk.  "It was smart to bring someone familiar with it."

"Thank you, ma'am."  They checked the lab downstairs but it was mostly empty.  Only a few tables and microscopes, plus some astronomy data on the walls.  The dog didn't hit anywhere in there but the storage room either so they went up to the top floor.  He tapped and showed his ID when someone came out. "Sir, we got called about illegal drugs being smelled in this building.  We need to check your lab."

"Do you have a warrant?"

"No, but we do have proof that the dog did hit on something being made here," Horatio told him. "I'm Lieutenant Caine with the Crime Lab.  I'm here to make sure he can't do anything to your research, sir."

"Who called?"

"CSI Sanders downstairs."

"Who?"

"The blond guy with the spiky hair," the officer said.  "He's a former officer out of Las Vegas, sir.  All we want to do is let the dog sniff around.  We've found the stink so far in the ventilation system."

"Hmm.  He won't get near the experiments?"

"He won't," Horatio agreed.  "Unless I see something he should sniff.  That's why I'm here, sir."

"Doctor.  Doctor Herzburg."

"Doctor Herzburg then.  Thank you for your cooperation."  That got a nod and they both watched the officer lead the dog to the storage area, getting a nod.  "Would you happen to remember when the smells started?"

"I can't smell anything.  Too many years over chemicals."

Horatio nodded. "I've seen that happen to others," he agreed.

"You're a chemist?"

"I am but I use it in the crime lab."  That got a snort.  "As do most of my people.  Greg his a Masters in Chemistry."

"That explains why he's doing allergy studies," he said dryly.  "Where as I'm doing genetics."

"In what field?  Medicine, disease, immunology, or historical?"

"Historical.   You understand genetics?"

"I do.  We do a lot with it," Horatio agreed patiently.  The dog hit on something else.  "What's in that cabinet?"

"Ahhh."  He walked over to look, letting the officer have the bottles to let the dog sniff individual things.  The dog hit on two of them so he found the permits he had.  "There is what you need."

He looked it over and handed it back.  "Thank you, Doctor.  That one is nearly expired by the way.  We'll head downstairs.  Do you know who's working in that bottom lab?"

"Some person who's relating astronomy to the human body again.  He's trying to set us back centuries."

"Thank you, Doctor.  We'll check the rest of the building," Horatio agreed. "I hope your research pans out."

"I do as well.  We must undo some of the genetic damage we have done before too many traits are lost to interbreeding.  Don't you agree?"

"I find that the new ones show a lot of promise," Horatio told him.  "Though more chance of defects."

"Exactly!  If we can undo some of the mixing that has been done we can undo some of the defects in the modern genetic packages.  They were nearly free of it ten centuries ago!  Or even ten thousand centuries ago!  Imagine all the diseases we could eliminate from the human genetic banks if we could go back there!"

"I hope you find a way to do that, Doctor.  Thank you for your indulgence."  He walked out with the officer.  "Basement?"

"Let's, just in case."  Once they were alone he looked at him.  "At least he's not a racist."

"No, he wants to bring us back to the stone age DNA," he agreed.  They found the building's manager looking at something down there.  He cleared his throat, making him jump.  "Good morning."

"Officers," he said.  "What's wrong?  Greg called and said you'd need in here?"

"There's the smell of illegal drug making somewhere in the ventilation system," Horatio said.  "We've checked all the labs but this one and the open space with the open windows.  I figured we wouldn't have to do there since there's no doors out of that room but the main one."

"That's fine.  Was the person in the other bottom floor lab around?"

"No but the door was open."

"Sir, where does the storage room ventilation lead to?" the K-9 officer asked.

"Oh, um, down here.  The rest is specially filtered."  He let them into the basement, opening any doors they wanted.  But even he could smell the stink coming from one room. "What is that?"

"Meth," the K-9 officer said, watching his dog.  He sat down in front of the door.  "Lieutenant, I'd like backup."

"As would I."  He made the call.  "This is Caine. I'm at...  Yes, we are.  We need Narco to back us up.  Basement."  He hung up.  "Make sure they get down here," he told the manager, who hurried off.  "Check the other areas, just in case."  He nodded, going to do that and coming back with a head shake when more dog handlers and Narcotics officers came in.  Horatio let the manager unlock the door and they went in, finding a lot of drug making going on.  "Well," he said blandly.  "This is not good."  They all nodded but got to work bagging things up.  "We'll need to process for the occupants."   He went to get his scene kit and come back to do his part of the job.  He also stuck one of the tiny cameras where it would do the most good to catch who came in.  One of the officers gave him an odd look so he smirked.  "Mr. Harris took CSI Sanders to the spy shop one day to get him some kit refills."  That got a few smirks and a nod or two.  "They're very handy and I have the receiver in the hummer."

"An easier stakeout," one said. "I like that idea.  Do we know who else is here?"

"We visited the other labs," Horatio agreed. "All but the people working in the bottom floor lab were present."

"Even better."

"Watch out for the guy on the top floor. He wants to unmix the DNA back to the stone age," the original K-9 officer told them, earning a few odd looks.  "He did!"

"He did," Horatio agreed.  "He wanted to cure some trait losses and common defects."  That got some head shakes.  "There's also CSI Sanders and his assistant Halley, who's a master's candidate in Chemistry.  One pharmaceutical researcher, and whoever is in that ground floor lab."

"We can deal with that," the head officer agreed.  "Okay, let's start carrying it up if we've got it all together."  They nodded and carried everything drug related up, letting Horatio and the original officer process the rest of things for fingerprints and dropped hairs or fibers.

***

Xander looked up as Horatio came into the house, waving weakly.  "I have a headache."

"Why do you have a headache?"

"My sinuses are swollen.  There was some of that stuff I was given by that one herbalist on a blanket I unpacked earlier."

"You'll heal and it'll be fine, Xander."  He sat down next to his feet.  "I do wish I could convince you to give me the General sooner."

"I've got to go by the guidelines of warning, Horatio."

"I know you do, Xander.  How much longer does he have?"

"Midnight.  With the rest of all my money or else."

"Do you have what you'll want to give me then?"

"I do. It's in the study."  He smiled sweetly.  "You can come raid the study at midnight if I haven't gotten it yet."

"How about if Speed and I stay over in case he does something stupid."  Xander smiled at that.  An older woman walked in with the vacuum.  "Need us to move?"

"No, you're fine," she said happily with a Swedish accent, waving at him.  "Xander needs to rest and I've already thrown that blanket in the washer, Xander."

"Thank you.  This is Horatio.  The room upstairs, first on the left, is his and Speed's when they stay over."

"That's good.  Are we expecting more guests tonight?"

"Probably Speed, maybe Eric and Ryan," Xander said with a small shrug.  "I'll do dinner in a while."

"I can.  You're sick."

"I was only going to put meat in the oven, Tabby."  She smiled at that. "Really.  Or maybe one of the frozen casseroles I've got already done."  She nodded at that, going to the dusting first so she could vacuum anything that fell later on.  He looked at Horatio.  "Who was making the drugs at Greg's lab?"

"Someone in the basement by the heating system."  He patted his foot.  "You're not feeling better yet?"

"I couldn't get it out of my system the last time either," Xander reminded him.  He yawned and shifted onto his side.  "Midnight, Horatio."

"Yes, Xander.  Midnight is fine."  He got up and covered him with the throw off the back of the couch, nodding at Tabby.  "I'll stay with him until the others get home."

"That's fine," she agreed happily.  "You might have them check the mail."

"I will."  He went to look at the mail then text message Don so he could call Steve about the water shut off notice.  He looked in the freezer, then texted Danny and Speed to see if they wanted ham or beef tonight.  The answer came back mixed but Ryan said ham and Don said ham.  So Danny was out of luck.  The answer of 'casserole' was decided on the same way.  He found the one he wanted and set it out to defrost some so it could be baked.  After all, he had put it in a glass baking dish.  It had to get to room temperature at least or it would crack in the oven.  He smiled when the dogs ran out the back door because the vacuum came on.  "It's all right, boys.  She's cleaning."  He went to the study to look at the packet of information in there.  It had his name on it and it was in a manilla envelope.  It felt like papers and a tape.  Eric called an hour before quitting time to tell him Wyatt had the hell beaten out of him and was in the ER.  He was even naming names.  Including his boss.  Which was very interesting.  He found the information files on the others in Xander's office, smiling at them as well.  Maybe they could get Xander to quit playing poker with the thugs now.  He did browse Fu's file, nodding at some of the information in it.  He hadn't known the old man had been part of the Japanese army in Korea during World War II.  Very interesting.  As was the note that he had a warrant out for his arrest.

***

Ryan came in the next morning, looking at Horatio.  "I did the tape last night," he said with a yawn.  "He's definitely cheating at cards."

"How?"

"There's a really subtle, nearly subliminal screeching on the tape.  It's the last game they played, the one where Xander nearly didn't win anything."

"I see.  Have you told Xander?"

"Not yet.  I was going to let you since he was challenged to another game today."

"Which means we should send someone with him."

"But it can't be us.  They know we're cops.  The same as they know Greg used to be.  Xander bragged."

"What about Frank?"

"He's been on the news before too, Horatio."  He closed the door.  "What are we going to do about the Mala Noche involvement?"

"So far he hasn't gotten anything on them.  I took the time to browse his other files."

"One does owe him money.  If there's a hit called, they might take it for that reason."

"Or they might not," Xander said as he walked in.  "What's going on?  Did we find out how he was cheating?"

"High pitched squealy noises just out of hearing range," Ryan told him.

"So, earplugs?"

"Or discman," Ryan agreed. "i-Pod if you want.  Whatever floats your boat to weed it out."

Xander hugged him. "Thank you.  Anything on Wyatt's case?"

"He named names and we found proof of it," Horatio assured him. "Is he out of the business?"

"Yeah.  He said he's going to finish college.  Fu said he was taking on too much work that wasn't compatible to his service with him.   He was breaking the neutrality stuff."  He shrugged.  "Wyatt knew pissing me off was a bad thing."  He smiled sweetly.  "Which is why I've thought about cursing Fu to rats at the moment.  By the way, I'm bringing Adam with me," he said, kissing Ryan on the cheek.  "Thank you for worrying though."

"Welcome, Xander."  He smiled at him as he bounced out, picking up what he had dropped.  "Huh, the address."  He handed it to Horatio.  "The file had proof, picture proof, of a drug handover, Horatio."

"Who gathered it?"

"Greg signed the back of the photos."

"When?"

"I'm not sure.  Greg's not up yet.  Apparently he took Nick and Warrick out on the town last night."  He smiled.  "So we're cool on that end.  So far."

"We'll see what we can do," Horatio agreed, reaching for the phone.

***

Xander sat down across from the General, Adam behind him.  "Sorry, had to have someone else drive today.  I had to get ear drops put in."

"Ear drops?" the General sneered.  "Too many fingers in it?"

"No, ingrown hair.  I've got a pimple in there and I scratched it open."  He shrugged.  "I get them now and then.  So, what are we playing for today?"

"Your SUV," he sneered.

"Against the five and a half you owe me?  Because yeah, you're being charged interest now.  It's been much too long and I shouldn't play with you until you pay up.  But if you win today I'll give you another month to pay me before I add more interest on again."  The General laughed.  "Really."  He put his cash on the table.  "You owe me more than the national debt of some island nations.  That's bad business, General."

"How would you, a toy, know about business?"

Xander smirked. "You'd be surprised what I know."  He stared him down.  "Are we playing or not?"  The cards were dealt and he anted in.  The drops Adam put in were doing wonderfully, even if he was slightly nauseous from them.  He lost the first hand, making him laugh, but then destroyed him on the next three.  Xander looked at the General's pile of cash then shrugged.  "You going on?  You're looking a bit poor."  The next hand he lost but it wasn't a good one for either side so neither had bet very large.  The last hand the General had to throw in his watch and ring when Xander bet large.  Xander shook off the exchange of cards, just staring at him.  "Well?"  He could see the man was sweating.  "I'm waiting.  I've got shit to do today, like going to fuck my boys senseless again.  You're cutting into my nookie time."  The general sneered at him.  "Want some of my eardrops so you don't hear your own high pitched squealy noises?"  Everyone in the room stared at him in horror.  "Yeah, I know."  He smiled sweetly.  "Cheating is bad, General.  Very, very bad for business.  Now, fold, take a card, or let's go.  Like I said, I've got shit I've got to do today.  Other people who owe me money and things."

"Fine," he said, tossing down his cards.  "I fold."

"Thank you.  Adam, would you mind?"  He came over to get everything, pushing it into a bag, making sure he didn't touch the watch or ring.  He stared at him.  "I heard what you and Fu did to Wyatt.  Didn't please me either.  Have we noticed yet that I could be just as  powerful as you but I don't want it?"  The man sneered and stood up, stomping off.  "Up to you, man."  He stood up and grabbed one bill from the bag, tipping the dealer.  "Here, so you can escape tonight."  That got a nod and he snuck off.  He looked at two of the guys playing guard.  "Boys, where's Jorge?  He owes me a few bucks too."

"He's at the hideout," one sniffed.  "I'll let him know."

"That's fine, I can swing by there."  They all gaped in horror.  "Yeah, I know where it is.  Of course I do.  People like me enough to gift me with an eight foot chocolate vagina, do you think they don't talk to me too?"  They stared in awe.  He pulled out the picture and showed him. "See?  The thing under the tarp's a six foot white chocolate dildo."  He smiled.  "So I hear things.  The same as trying me means my family hears the things I do.  That would include my mentors Horatio, Speed, and Adam here.  Are we clear?"  That got a nod.  "Very?"  That got another nod.  "Then who put the hit out on me?"  One pointed in the other room.  "That's what I thought.  He still owes me five and a half million dollars and if he doesn't pay, Horatio's getting the things I've heard at dinner time," he said more than loudly enough to be heard.  "Thank you, guys.  Have a better day."  He walked out with Adam, shaking his head to one side to clear the drops.  "These don't feel good."

"They'll absorb soon enough," he said patiently, getting in to drive the special SUV Xander had bought.  He backed it out of the driveway, heading back into the city.  "You know the Mala Noche's hide out?"

"Yeah. I have known it."  He shrugged and tapped an address into the navigation system.  "There."  Adam nodded and went that way.  He pulled up in front of the bodega near their hideout.  "This is usually as far as I go," he admitted.  "Their outer gate.  Kinda like their drawbridge."  He rolled down the window and looked out.  "Boys, where's Jorge?"

"Asleep, man, with his bitch," one guy lounging outside the store answered.  "What's a white guy like you want with him?"

Xander smiled. "I'm Xander."  That got a bit more respect.  "I wanted to know when he was going to pay me my poker winnings.  After all, the General was cheating and he only has until dinner, or else I tell my mentor, Horatio.  Or my lovers, Detective Flack and CSI Messer.  I don't want to turn in others but I'm having a cranky day."   The guy who asked stepped off to make a call, then came back.  "He up?"

"He is.  He said by dinner, Xander.  He said you've been very understanding."

"I don't mind what he owes me but with the action against Wyatt?  Yeah, I'm being cranky and bitchy today.  By dinner's fine.  I'll be at home.  I look forward to playing against him again," he said with a mild grin.  "Warn him the General's been using subsonics."  He rolled up the window and they rolled off, heading home.  He smiled at him.  "He didn't owe me that much."

"How much?"

"Ten grand."

"That is a lot of money."

"Not for him. He makes a hell of a lot more a year."

"Yes, but to come up with it suddenly."

"He's got it in his wallet," Xander assured him.  They pulled into the driveway and he got out to play with the dogs while Adam took the car to the station to hand that and the information file he hadn't seen to Horatio and them.  It was five, it was dinner time.  He walked into the house and didn't find the money so oh well.   He did find a bomb and had to call Jorge to see how to disarm it, but that was fine with him and he agreed he could pay him the next day when he went out to bring lunch to others.  He was usually a nice guy.  Adam came back and Horatio followed.  He smiled at him.  "Jorge's going to pay me tomorrow.  I became nicer when he helped me undo the bomb in the living room by the ferret cages."  Horatio hurried inside and he shrugged at Adam.  "It's safe now."

"Good.  What's for dinner?"

"You know, I haven't decided yet," he admitted, going to look in the freezer.  "Horatio, want beef or pork for dinner?  I'll start a roast."

"Beef," he called.  "Danny wanted it last night."

"Sure."  He pulled one out to defrost in the microwave.  More officers came in and Spots sniffed them, growling at one.  "Don't growl at him," he called.  "He probably had to fire his gun."

"No he hasn't," Horatio said as he came in, "but they're wondering why the dog is growling at him."  He hugged Xander.  "You will never be allowed to play poker until all the people you used to play with are gone," he said quietly but firmly.

"But..."

"No, Xander.  No more poker," Horatio said more firmly, looking down at him once he was free.  "No more poker.  Unless you're playing for charity or we need you to play to bust someone, or when you go back to Vegas for a convention or something.  No more poker in Miami."

"In the Keys?" he asked hopefully.  "I've been invited to a legal people's ring out there."

"No, Xander.  No more poker in Florida."  Xander pouted.  "Please?  It's for your own safety.  It's this or Don will have to start yelling again."

"Fine," he pouted.  He found his cellphone and called Jorge back.  "Horatio said I can't play anymore.  Can you maybe do what Wyatt did and gather the rest of my winnings?  Including from the General?  Thanks, Jorge.  Sure, I'll even discount yours by ten percent," he promised with a small smile.  "No, he's worried about some of the others.  He said I can only play at conventions and things."  He pouted.  "He said you're mean, Horatio."  He smiled.  "Yeah, he's here.  He's my mentor.  Also my relationship counselor.  Why?"  He nodded at that.  "That would royally piss me off, Jorge.  I'd have to react if that should come to pass.  I know but it's not going to make me happy.  Sure, bring that to me.  Maybe we can work something out.  Because you don't want me to. Friends are one thing and I understand business is different but that would really, seriously piss me off to no end and I'd have to react.  Then he'd get mad at me.  I understand.  Still bring that to me?  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Horatio, there's a new bounty on your head."

"Since when?" Adam demanded.

"You often hear about those?" Horatio asked blandly.

"Now and then."  He stared at Xander.  "Well?"

"Since Jorge's guys hate you so much they want to fire a grenade launcher up your ass at a dinner party," Xander admitted.  He gave Horatio a hug.  "I told him I'd have to get mean and evil.  He said friendship and business are two different things. But he's going to be bringing me the rest of my emergency kits and things tonight or early tomorrow for me forgiving ten percent of his poker debt to me.  Then we'll have to make plans with Mac again, right?"

Horatio kissed him on the forehead.  "Where is Jorge stationed, Xander?"

"We went to see his boys at a bodega," Adam told him.  Horatio stared at him.  "He's the Mala Noche that owes Xander money.  Only about ten thousand."

"I see."  He looked at Xander.  "Are they holding a meeting?"

"Not that I've heard.  I heard they had a dinner party last week with a lot of coke but that's about it."  He shrugged.  "That's when I heard the General was trying to convince them to eliminate me so he wouldn't have to pay me."  He smiled. "I let him go lean on him for me.  It's easier this way and more fun for him because he likes blood.  Said it smells nice."

Horatio took a deep breath though his nose and let it out.  "Do we know Jorge's last name?"

"Meurte.  I asked him if that was like being George of the Jungle, being George of Death.  He said he likes me."  He grinned.  Horatio took another deep breath.  "I had to use the SUV's nav system to show him the bodega and you can use my computer, Horatio.  Log in under Danny's name if you need to."  He went to do that.  Xander looked at the meat in the oven then at Adam.  "Think I should bring something homemade tomorrow for lunch or something from the deli?"

"Some days I wonder about your mind, Xander."

"I did this back in Sunnydale, Adam.  We fought, we had chinese food while researching the next bad thing that wanted to rip people apart and feed on the innards, then we went and partied.  It's how I was trained."

Adam hugged him.  "In time we'll turn you back into a normal GHS, Xander, I promise."   He patted him down and took the keys off him, walking into the study to open a filing cabinet in there and look up the information packets Xander had hidden from everyone.  He handed it over to Horatio.  "Let him collect his poker debts first.  Perhaps he'll take out the General for us."

"I'd rather see him in jail."

"He still has diplomatic immunity," Adam said wisely.  Horatio grumbled.  "Xander asked him if being Jorge Meurte was like being George of the Jungle."

Horatio cracked a bit of a smile. "I've often wondered how Sunnydale had warped the boy."

"We ate chinese food talking about the newest bad thing that wanted to eat innards in the middle of the street, Horatio.  What do you think?"  He took the keys back and opened a hidden cabinet and then walked off.  "Let me get my poker debts first please.  Casserole or deli tomorrow, Horatio?"

"Casserole, Xander. We could use some comfort food at the station to celebrate with."

"Hopefully," Adam agreed.  He called the others to come home while Horatio got up to look at this new sources of information.  "He did use the navigation system to get to their outpost," he said quietly.

"I can let Eric do that later," he agreed.  "He's better with those."  That got a wicked smirk and Horatio smirked back.  He went to check on the bomb guys.  "Did we find another one?"

"No, we're having trouble getting this last screw up."

"You cut my floor up you replace it," Xander called from the kitchen.  "Horatio, beans or potatoes?"

"Potatoes, the cheesy ones you make would go nicely, Xander.  Everyone's coming over."

"Okay."  He got to work on that, smiling when Don came in.  "Horatio's either looking at the bomb or in the study."

"Bomb?"

"Yeah, I caught the General cheating and told him to pay me by dinner or I was handing information to Horatio."  He went back to peeling after stealing a kiss.  "Go help."  Don nodded and went to help them, mostly by moving the dogs into the study so they'd quit growling at the one guy or trying to sniff tails with the bomb sniffing dog.  "Sorry, Xander won't let me fix 'em," Don offered.

"They're good dogs.  I'd like to see if they breed true," the K-9 handler offered.  "Is he taking them to advanced training yet?"

"Starts next month," Xander called.  "Anyone need anything?"

"No thank you, Xander," he called politely. They finally got the screw free of the floor and hadn't scratched it too badly.  The bomb got put into the lead case and carried out to the truck.  He looked at Don. "We've searched down here. What's with that pool?"

"It's an alternate way for Xander to wear out being a high level GHS member.  Works pretty well too."

"Any idea why he got the bomb treatment this time?" one of the bomb squad guys asked.

"He said he caught the General cheating at poker.  Told him to pay up his winnings by dinner or else he was going to turn information over to Horatio."

"Huh.  So he's got balls of steel?"

"No, he knows he could've been worse.  You know that place down on West Accordia?"  They all nodded but grimaced.  "Xander used to hunt those things."  That got a few shudders.  "Back in high school.  So he's playing poker with the underground elite."

"No longer," Horatio assured him.  "He can play during conventions and when he goes to visit Jace.  No longer in Florida unless we need him to."  He looked at them.  "No others on the grounds?"

"We'll go see," they agreed, going to do that, gossiping a bit.  By the time they were done, and most had seen the statue in the woods, they were sure Caine's mentoring project needed a firmer leash and he was about to do that to him.  Most of them knew him from when he had been part of them.  They all knew the leash would be snapping taut tonight.

Horatio and Don shared a look.  "Come see what he showed us."

"Anything good?"

"Yes, there is."  He walked him into the study, letting him see the hidden areas. After that one had been exposed he and Adam had looked for others.  Xander probably wouldn't approve but they now had a lot of information they hadn't.  Ryan and Eric came in so he sent Eric to download the navigation system from the SUV.  By the time dinner was done, everyone was there in the study going over things.  Mac had already made some calls back to New York about a few cases, and things were going along swimmingly.  Xander just smiled when Horatio looked up at him.  "You know we'll have to use this."

"I wouldn't have shown you if I didn't know that, Horatio.  I'm not that naive."  He kissed him on the head. "Pissing me off puts me in a bad and vindictive mood and I learned from the best bitches: Cordy and Willow."  He got his own plate and came in to sit down, pointing at the tv cabinet.  "No one checked among the VHS tapes?"  Ryan got down to do that, finding a few that got handed over with the other files.  "They didn't stack as neatly if I filed them together.  Sorry."

"Well, kid, you've done us proud," Frank offered.  Greg looked over and nodded. "How much of this was your work, Sanders?"

"Barely any of it.  Anything I did I signed somehow."  He stuffed his mouth when Danny glared at him.  "Some mild surveillance of some of his poker buddies who were pissing him off.  Nothing else."

"We should spank," Frank told him.

"Why did you hand over today's poker winnings?" Danny asked his boyfriend.

"Because his watch and ring were in there.  I didn't know if you needed a DNA match from the skin stuff Greg said we all wear off on our jewelry and watches."

"That's a very good idea, Xander," Horatio agreed, smiling at him.  "Thank you, and you as well, Greg."

"Just get the dealers out of my lab, Horatio."

"Narcotics got most of them and we gave them another three leads, Greg."

"Thanks, man.  Needed that."  He got up.  "Any seconds, Xander?"

"There's another one in the oven, you might check."  Greg smiled and went to check on that.  "I'm bringing real food tomorrow.  Horatio said so."

"That's fine," Ryan agreed.  Someone rang the doorbell and Xander got up to get it, taking the few bags from the minor gang member, who bowed and said something quietly in Spanish before leaving.  "Who was that?"

"Jorge had my permission to collect the rest of my poker winnings.  All my other emergency bags will be brought in tomorrow, including the gear kits."  He looked in that one, letting the dogs sniff.  No drugs.  So he threw it into the practice room.  He walked back into the study and took his plate and glass again, smiling at Don.  "Thanks."  He stole a kiss and went back to eating.  "Any particular thing I should bring tomorrow?"

"Bring something fancy that keeps you in the kitchen all morning," Danny told him.  "That way it's special and celebration worthy."

"Okay.  Beef okay with everyone?"  They all nodded and Greg came back in with the new roast.  "It's a bit pink, Greg."

"Sorry.  It's done by the thermometer."  He let them take the slices he had carved then handed Xander another one before putting it back and bringing his plate back so he could settle back into his corner and eat. "Am I helping you cook tomorrow?"

"I don't need a guard, Greg."

"Yes you do," Don assured him.  "Boss?"

"We might need you for some of the busts," Mac said.  "We'll have him watched."  He looked at Xander.  "That one military file got handed to me.  How long have they been after you this time?"

"I can't be sure if the car crash was them or not.  It was either them or the Watchers Council."  He ate another bite.  "No one wants to take it.  You got information back about why we had to stop them very well."

"Thank you."  He stuffed his mouth before he said something else.  "You'll let us handle this?"  Xander stared at him. "Xander?  Let us handle this," Mac ordered more firmly.

"He's worried that there's a new hit out by the Noches," Ryan told him.  Horatio looked at him.  "I got that emailed to me today by Wyatt.  So we're going to be guarding you very heavily, Horatio."

"There's a what?" Speed asked.

"The Mala Noches think he's too big a bump in the road," Ryan told him.  "That's how Wyatt put it."

"It's a four million bounty," Xander agreed.  "Jorge told me.  He was trying to make sure I knew that that was business and not personal."  He ate another bite and looked at Horatio.  "So, helping me cook tomorrow, Horatio?"

"Yes, he can," Mac agreed.  "He can even drive the SUV in tomorrow."

"He can sleep in it too," Speed agreed.

"One of the seats does pull out," Xander admitted.  They all moaned and shook their heads at that factoid.

Don looked at Danny. "How many times did you complain making out in the corvette was awkward?"

"Only the once," he said.  "You?"

"Twice I think."  He looked at Ryan, who shook his head.  Then Eric who shook his head.

"If I ever decide to tailgate, I'm taking that thing," Frank said dryly, shaking his head.

"Take the wife camping, Frank," Xander teased.  "You can camp inside."

"Don't tempt me, Xander."  He ate a bite of the potato casserole.  "Any more of the veggies?"

"Barely," Greg admitted.  So Frank got up to get some and came back with the rest of it and some more milk.  "So what's the plan, Horatio, and do you need me?"

"I do, Greg. I'll need someone to coordinate with me."  Greg nodded. He looked at Mac.  "I'll let you lead since you have more experience in that area."  Mac smirked at that and nodded.  "Good.  Eric?  The bodega?"

"Already found.  Coordinated with SWAT."  That got a nod.  "When?"

"Tonight, Eric."  They all finished up and went to do that.  They wouldn't get Xander's poker buddy but they would get plenty of other members, including the boss since he was asleep when the raid started.   They'd catch Jorge later, after he got done getting Xander's poker winnings from the General.   That had been a messy scene and he had said it was an honor to deal with him for the people he was screwing over.  He didn't even mention Xander but the money had already been sent with a minor courier long before officers responded to the screams coming from the house. Horatio walked in and looked at him.  Jorge nodded back.  "Did you have to kill him?"

"He was disrespectful and he cheated the rest of us.  I did."

"I see.  I know he was cheating others in the poker circles."

"He cheated me too if he cheated that one."  He smirked.  "Besides, he was fun.  Smelled very good at the end."

"You do know Xander won't be saving you?"

"I know.  I didn't kill him for Xander.  There's others who wanted him dead.  There was a hefty bounty on his head.  Even more than yours, Red."

"Yes, but mine's been stopped."

"There's no stopping the Mala Noches.  We all have little brothers."

Horatio nodded.  "Thank you for that warning.  Then again, this is Business, isn't it?"

"Very true," he agreed with a smirk.  "Business is business.  Though it'd be a pleasure for many if you kissed that boy.  They think you'd be cute together."

"I have someone but I'll tell him you said that."

"That's what he said.  Who cares today though.  Not like it's a marriage in the church."

"True.  So, how did you kill him?"

"Easily.  He's a pig.  He squealed like one when I gutted him then played in 'em."  Horatio just took notes while he told him how he had killed him, and a few others.  Because bragging rights was what made a Noche's name for posterity.

***

Xander came in the next day and smiled at the guys standing guard.  "Hi, guys.  Can I get just a tiny bit of help carrying today?"  One of them nodded, getting Ryan down to help him.  "Thanks."  They carried in the two boxes of food, then Xander came back to lock up the SUV and headed back upstairs.  He smiled at the people gathered.  "Hi."

"Hi," Don said, giving him a hug.  "Your emergency kits all reappear?"

"They did and I like Jorge's little brother.  He's a very nice guy.  He didn't even blame me for business getting in the way of a friendship."  He sat down.  Horatio looked at him.  "What?  You think Spike was better than Jorge?  Spike used to...."  Danny covered his mouth with a hand.  "Sorry."

"Jorge would have made a very good vampire," Frank agreed. "Thankfully most of the Mala Noches are now gone."

"All but about twenty or so," Xander agreed.

"We arrested nearly sixty of them," Frank complained.

"Frank, they were started from hardship and a civil war.  Do you really think that's stopped making new members?"  That got a sigh and a head shake. "I can almost guarantee they won't be stupid."  He smiled at Horatio.  "But your contract was canceled."

"How?"

"You don't want to know."

"Yes I do."

"No you don't."  He stared at him.  Horatio quirked up a brow.  "Angel and I had a talk.  Angel knows others.  Let's leave it there."

"Did you have to pay for it?" Don asked patiently.

"No. This one wanted to do it."  He smiled.  "Remember who else those sort of things hurt, guys.  I did take a former Vengeance demon to the prom."  That got a horrified look from Stella.  "Anyanka, over Women Scorned."

"I'm so sorry, but at least now you like guys," Stella pointed out. "It's better now, right?"

"Very.  None of them tell me how they punished others then expect me to get it up."  Don covered his mouth this time. "I wasn't going to share!"

"Tough.  Quit.  It's ended?"

"Yup.  Sending them that way meant they could take others out who were hurting innocents.  It was a favor for a favor situation."  He shrugged.  "By the way, I donated to an orphanage down that way, Horatio."

"That's fine, Xander.  I'm sure they could use the support."  He looked at him.  They'd be talking later.

"Anya said they needed it badly."

"Even better," Horatio agreed, smiling at him.  Xander was a lot more crafty than they gave him credit for.  "Everyone eat."  They dug in, going over the other information they had and what they had gotten from the earlier and late night raids.

Xander smiled.  Because no matter how decimated the underground was, they now got the point that pissing him off was a bad idea.  Danny patted him on the back so he smiled at him.  "I'm being good."

"No more evil thoughts or we won't go to the spa with you and Don tonight.  We'll leave you at home and just treat Don," he said quietly.  Xander nodded and let the crisis/hunting Xander persona drop, becoming the goofy, cuddly, bouncy GHS Xander again.  They had it now so he could do that.  After all, Xander only reacted when things threatened his family.  But now most of Miami's underworld knew what he meant by sacred when he said they were.  He ate another bite of lunch and soaked up the happy mood.  They had brought in a lot of bad guys.  It was going to be a good year for the PD as well.

***

Greg looked up from his work when the lab's door opened, looking at the guy standing there.  "Nick.  I thought you guys left yesterday."

"No, I came back.  Grissom wants to see you.  When can you come in for a vacation?"

"Well, this year's convention is back in New York so I'm going to that.  I can probably stop in after that.  That's in another two months.  Would that be okay?"

"Nothing sooner?"

"Not really.  I've got to finish this to present to the board by then.  I wish but I'll be there soon."

"We could use you back, Greg.  The new guy's sour and bringing us down.  You kept our spirits up so many times."

"Yeah, well, you guys treated me like crap," he reminded him.  "Of course I left."  Nick looked a bit embarrassed.  "What else is going on?"

"Not a lot.  Hodges' video of Xander dancing has made the rounds.  A lot of people are interested.  So the next convention out of Vegas will probably be really well watched."

Greg nodded. "Not too many of us can do them.  Wish they could.  It's a great workout."

"I know."  Nick smiled and moved closer, using a trick that had been used on him to get the needle into Greg's arm.  He caught Greg.  "Aww, poor baby.  Let's get you home."  He carried him out to the rental car.  Greg would become sacred to him once he had him home.

Halley looked out from the office, shaking her head.  "Another guy stuck on a GHS member."  She called the number taped to the wall in the office. "May I speak to Lieutenant Caine please?  No, it's vitally important.  Tell him one of the GHS members was taken."  She was put right through.  "Lieutenant, someone Greg was calling Nick just took him from the lab after drugging him.  I don't know, he was talking about his dancing and things.  Just now. Yes, sir.  Thank you, sir.  I thought you could stop him subtly since he said he used to work with them.  Thank you, Horatio.  Have a better afternoon."  She hung up and left it in his hands.  He would stop Nick before they got onto a plane.

***

Horatio found Nick's rental car with the tracker the rental company had put in.  He was still sitting in front of Greg's lab.  He went to wake him up.  "Where's Greg?"

"Warrick," he moaned, holding his head.  "He's not playing fair."

"Nick, you tried to kidnap Greg," he said patiently.  "Where is Warrick?"

"I don't know.  Heading back to Vegas?"

"I'll have him stopped," he said patiently.  "Go home, Nick.  I won't tell Grissom you tried to take Gregory."  He walked back to his hummer, calling the transit dispatch.  "It's Caine.  CSI Sanders may be with CSI Brown from Las Vegas.  CSI Sanders is not to get on a plane," he ordered.  "Because he was seriously drugged earlier and I doubt he's sentient enough to deal with reality at this moment.  Thank you.  Hold him there until I get there."  He hung up his radio and headed for the airport.  They had Warrick and Greg in a room by themselves.  "Warrick," he sighed.  Warrick gave him a sheepish look.  "He belongs to Miami now."

"He's our tech, Horatio.  Grissom wants him back too."

"Warrick," Greg said, sounding sleepy.  "I'm with Xander.  Even if you don't like it.  Sorry but he feels that I'm sacred to him."

"He's with four other guys, and sometimes a girl, Greg, you can't be that sacred!" he complained.

Greg blinked at him.  "Technically he's only with Eric and Ryan on occasion, when the rest of us are exhausted."  He stood up and looked at him.  "Your OCD..."

"Quit calling it that!"

"It is," Horatio said patiently.  "You're over-prepared for any situation, Warrick.  Your meticulous nature is very good and beneficial in the lab.  However it did drive Gregory to look for other positions and into Xander's arms.  Go back to Las Vegas and Greg can come visit in a few months, after he presents his findings to the research panel.  By then you'll have calmed down and the 'mine' and 'pet the Greg' feelings will have left already."  Warrick glared at him.  "If you take him now, you're going to be sleeping with him tonight, Warrick, are you prepared to let him have you?"

"No," he said, looking sheepish.  "I'm sorry, Greg.  I thought it was in your best interests."

"Keep it up, I'm letting Xander kick your ass.  And yes, he can do that."  He looked at Horatio.  "My head's spinning.  Can I go nap on Xander again?"

"Very shortly," Horatio agreed, giving him a hug.  Warrick growled and Horatio glared.  "Get on the plane, Warrick, or I will tell Grissom and Catherine."

"And Hodges," Greg mumbled into Horatio's shoulder.

"And Hodges," he agreed.  Warrick sighed.  "Warrick, go home, think on the thoughts you're suddenly having.  For such a lady's man, you're suddenly changing sides."  Warrick nodded.  "If you'd work on that and on the OCD you seem to have, it might help you.  Especially when Nick gets you back for knocking him out."

"It was wrong of me to try to kidnap Greg back to Las Vegas.  And to knock out Nick."  Horatio nodded.  "Please don't tell Grissom."

"We all have moments of lapses of judgement, Warrick.  Get on the plane and go back to Las Vegas.  I'll send Nick later tonight."  He nodded and left.  Horatio looked at Greg, who was nearly asleep.  "Think you can walk outside?"  Greg shook his head.  "It's either walk or a trip to the ER, Greg."  Greg groaned and nodded, stumbling that way.  Horatio walked him out, shaking his head at the odd looks he got.  "He got drugged by someone," he told one of the transit cops.

"The guy he was with?"

"Was his former coworker and he was worried about his safety," Horatio told him.  "There's another one that may come running.  Let them both go."

"Name?"

"Stokes."

"Already ran that way, Lieutenant Caine.  Should he have an ambulance?"

"He can sleep on the way home."  That got a nod and they let him walk Greg off.  He signed the order letting them go and finished walking Greg out to the hummer, letting him curl up in the back seat.  "You sleep.  I'll hand you to Xander."

"Yes, Horatio," he said through a yawn.  "He's probably at the brothel learning more dances."

"Not when he hears you need him.  You know how he is about his family."  He called Xander's phone.  "It's Horatio.  I have Greg.  I had to rescue him.  I'm taking him home."  He hung up.  Two minutes later his phone rang.   "Caine."  He smiled.  "Of course I'm bringing him to your house, Xander.  The ferrets would make him play at mine.  I'll meet you there, Xander.  Of course."  He hung up and smirked.  Xander was fairly easy to predict as long as he wasn't in crisis mode.  Then there was no telling what he'd do.  But normally he was a nice, overprotective, cuddly young man who found his family sacred.  He was more than happy to make sure he only had to deal with the GHS Xander instead of the other one.

Another Miami GHS Day.

Xander looked at Horatio over lunch.  "I called this meeting without the others because we've got an issue and I don't think the others want to deal with it."

"Okay," Horatio agreed.  "What issue?"

"The Watcher's Council."

Horatio stared at him.  "I thought it was going to be something more minor than that."

"Nope, sorry."  He sipped his water then dug into his salad.  "So far they've gotten me and Don.  They made an attempt at Ryan but got shooed off.  I'm finding new levels of anger at stupid people."

"They're probably panicking."

"No they're not.  There's been plenty of things written by their sister organization, Horatio."  He looked startled. "That's what Mac and Stella do," he said quietly.  "They're there to chronicle everything we do."  That got a slow nod.  "But that leaves us with one major problem because I do not want to wait for the next event.  Ryan managed to save himself by accident.  They knew what they were doing when they rigged that bar to take Don's head off.  I won't have it."

"They serve a purpose."

"So?  They're still screwing up that badly, Horatio.  What'll happen if they go from us to the members of the other group, the one we share?"

He swallowed.  "What did Vesvold say?"

"I haven't talked to him yet," he admitted.

"I see.  Why not?"

"He's been busy.  There was an attempted coup somewhere and he's been mediating."  That got a nod. "I know I can't do away with them but they're getting out of hand and they've never listened to reason.  I'm worried we'll lose someone to them.  There've been a few odd accidents across that group," he said quietly.  "I can't prove it's not them."

"We should look into those," he offered.

"Mac can't."

"I could."

"You're a target too, Horatio."  He nodded at that wisdom. "I don't want to have to be paranoid.  I am but I don't want to be.  Then again, I heard a gunshot the other day when I was out riding.  I'm not sure someone wasn't trying for someone else at the farm."

"He said they were putting down a dog."

"That's mean!  Go to the vet's."

"That costs more money, Xander," he said quietly.  He nodded at that.  "It'll be okay.  We'll work on this."

Xander looked at him.  "We need to work on this.  Danny and Don are smart but they're not sneaky.  You and I are sneaky.  Ryan's great at sneaking up on someone but making plans to be sneaky he sucks at.  Actually, making any plans he sucks at," he admitted, sipping his water.  "I don't think Eric's sneakiness goes further than dating two women at the same time and keeping himself from being stabbed."   Horatio smiled at that.  "It does."

"It does," he agreed. "We'll look into it and make plans.  Do not get ahead of me this time."

"Yes, Horatio."

"Good boy."  He smiled. "How is obedience class going?"

"Very well.  They're both doing very well in their classes.  The teachers are very pleased with their training and abilities.  Especially since you guys have had one of them sniffing drugs now and then already."  That got a smile.  "I'm just stuck, Horatio.  I don't want to have to do something mean."

"I know, Xander.  Do you have any contacts out there?"

"Wes but they won't listen to him.  Travers only listens to himself blow hot air."

"We'll see what we can do," Horatio promised.  "Talk to Wesley, see if he knows anything about this or can find out anything about this."  He nodded.  "Then we'll work on it together."  He patted him on the cheek.  "Okay?"  Xander nodded.  "Good, now eat.  You have to eat.  You quit eating when you worry."  Xander nodded and dug into his dinner while he silently prayed to Ares, Cupid, and Strife to help them out of this one.  Before it got even worse.

***

Xander walked into the yarn shop.  "Someone told me to come play with some yarn," he said with a small yawn.  Don and Danny were at a police convention in St. Louis, had been since yesterday.  He was seriously bored and not even the animals were making him unbored.  It had been Ray Junior who had teased him via email and told him to go play with some yarn, called him a concubine kitty too.  "What can I do with yarn?"

The woman behind the counter looked at him.  "Are you usually into arts and crafts?"  He beamed and nodded.  "Okay.  Would you like to try crocheting, knitting, or other yarn crafts?" she asked, leading him back to those sections.  He frowned when he looked at the tools.  "Let's start with the easiest.  Crocheting is easy and time consuming."  She got him a package of multiple hooks and let him pick out the yarns he wanted.  Then she got him the how-to video, making him smile.  "Let's start with that."  He nodded, picking up some more yarn and heading for the register.  She rolled her eyes.  It was good that men crafted but this one seemed a bit clueless.  She checked him out and he took the bags, heading for the house.  She sighed and made a note of the name.  Just in case he came back for the classes they offered.

***

Don and Danny came in late Sunday night, finding a mass of afghan looking thing on the couch.  They heard a snore from under it and both stared, then Don peeked, waking Xander and his dragon up. "Hi," he said, grinning at him.  "What's that?"

"I'm learning how to crochet," he said sleepily.  "It's not hard but I get side wobbles."  He stretched and Hubert got up, trotting off to find a way outside.  Danny let him out and came back to help get Xander out from under the thirty feet of crocheted material.  "It's going okay."

"It is," Don assured him.  "This could make one great afghan if we could take off the first foot or so."  Xander blushed at that.  "It's good, Xan.  Really nice."

"It's got flaws."

"That means it was made by someone who was learning and we don't mind."  He helped him up and let him tie off the end of his current row.  Then they carried it and him to bed so they could cuddle him.  Even if the afghan did hang off all the sides of the bed.

"Need to start 'nother one tomorrow," Xander said sleepily, kissing Danny and groping him until Danny helped his hand find his cock, earning a sleepy smile and grope.

"We can do that," Don promised, curling up behind Xander's back to grope him.  Xander hummed and blew kisses, getting Danny off then cleaning him up with his tongue.  Then Don got pounced and Xander fell asleep sucking on him.  Don carefully removed himself and Danny helped him finish off.  Xander whimpered but it was fine.  "We need to figure out how to trim the first part off.  This is probably three afghans," he said quietly.

Danny looked at him.  "Don't ask me.  I don't do that stuff.  Ask Adam.  I'm sure he has on some of those boring old nights."

Don grinned.  "I'll call tomorrow.  We'll let him start on a new one."  That got a nod and they snuggled in to cuddle the Xander.  It was good, they had missed his hair all weekend.

***

Horatio looked at the picture Don showed him, then at him.  "How long is it?"

"It flows off the foot of the bed and onto the floor when you put it like you normally would when making the bed.  It hangs two feet on either side too."

"He was busy this weekend."

"He said Ray Junior told him to go play with some yarn, called him a concubine kitty again."

Horatio smiled.  "I don't know anyone who does crochet.  Knit, but not crochet.  You might ask Mac, maybe one of his people do, Don."

"I asked Adam and he gave me a horrified look before slamming the door and walking off muttering in another language."

"Sounds like Ray's going to need vacation time soon."  He smiled and walked off.  "Let me know how it goes."

"Sure."  He went to call Mac.  "Do you know anyone who crochets?"  He grinned at the stunned silence.  "Xander took it up as his newest hobby.  A ten foot long afghan.  Yup.  Basically."  He beamed.  "That's what we wanted him to do but none of us know how."  He nodded.  "Sure, that works.  Thanks, Mac."  He called Xander.  "I talked to Horatio and Mac both trying to find someone who crochets.  Mac suggested that you take it to the shop where you pick up yarn and ask them."  He beamed at the happy babble.  "That'll work.  We didn't get anything on it, right?  Then it'll be fine."  He hung up and went back to his desk, going to look for paperwork.  "Why is my computer missing?" he called.

Frank leaned out from his desk.  "Because someone's an idiot and tried what they did on Ray's on yours."  He got back to work.

"Oh, wonderful."  He called Computer Services.  "This is Flack, in Homicide.  If I'm waiting over two days I'm coming down there to give myself more paperwork.  Now, how long before my machine's back?"  He smirked.  "Good answer!  I can keep myself occupied that long.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "They said tomorrow, guys."

"See, that's what I needed to do, I needed ta threaten," Ray muttered.

"Hey, Ray, made your guy wander off mumbling in a foreign language again."

"Why?" Ray moaned, pouting at him.

Don grinned and showed him the picture.  "We wanted to know if he knew how to separate them into smaller afghans.  Someone told our concubine kitty to go play with yarn, so he did."

Ray looked at him then shook his head.  "No comment.  Really, no comment.  Wish you the best'a luck, Flack."

"Thanks.  We came home to a lump of afghan and him hiding with Hubert."  Their boss looked out at him.  He pointed at his desk.  "Computer Services, boss."

His boss went to call them.  "How long before Flack quits bothering others?" he demanded.  He looked out his office door.  "Don't threaten them again, Flack, they slow down."

"I'm going to make Xander dance for them to enslave them for us, boss.  You mind?"

"Probably," Frank agreed from his desk.  "But if he does, have them come fix my perpetual blue screen of death today please?" he said loud enough for the boss to hear.

"Also, Tripp's machine keeps going to the blue screen of death.  Yeah, that might be good. Thank you."  He came out.  "Good news, Tripp, they're on their way.  Flack, we'll find something for you to do."  He went back to his desk to take an antacid.

Frank looked at Don.  "Think he would?"

"Know he would."

"Don't tempt him, he'll get another stalker," Ray said in a sing-song voice.  "He doesn't need another hacker on his case.  Remember the IRS and them?"

"Unfortunately," Don admitted.  The guys from computer services came up to look at Frank's machine, giving it clueless looks.  He sighed and called Oz.  "Can I pay your airfare to get you to Miami to fix our computers?  I'll beg.  I'm about to have Xander come pounce."  He heard Oz snickering and grinned.  "Hey, he could dance."   Oz laughed louder.  "Please, Oz?"  He nodded.  He hung up, then he called Xander.  "Oz might be coming out for a visit.   No, I'm bored.  No computer.  Same reason Ray's machine disappeared for weeks."  He grinned.  "I suggested that.  Sure!"  He hung up.  "Wish granted," he mouthed at Frank, who shivered.  About a half hour later Xander bounced in with the dogs and hugged them all, giving over bags of food.  "Aww, thanks, dear."

Xander kissed him and winked, then went to look over the guys' shoulders, upping his hormones.  "How long will it take?  I know a hacker if that'll help," he offered with a sweet smile.  A few of the guys moaned.  "Please make my Don unbored?  Otherwise he'll pounce me really hard and he might spank me for going to the yarn shop again."  They whimpered and got back to work faster.  Xander let them spike just a bit more before hugging Frank.  "I'm sorry you'll be bored like Don.  I hope you don't turn like he did."  He beamed and bounced out, running into Horatio, who gave him a look.  "They're being mean!"

"They are, but that was cruel, Xander.  Two of them are married."

Xander kissed him on the cheek.  "Yay.  Not like I want someone else."  He headed for the car with the dogs following him.  "Going to the yarn shop, Horatio.  If I make another one, did you want any particular color?"

Horatio smiled.  "Anything's fine, Xander.  Thank you."

"Welcome."  He slid in and the dogs climbed over him to get in the other seat then he headed to the yarn store.  He parked and got out, looking at the dogs.  "For half an hour.  Daddy will be right back."  He popped the trunk before getting out, leaving the dogs in the car, but the mass of afghan got brought in.  He found the same woman in there giving him an amused look.  "I forgot to stop and Don wanted to know if we could split it into two afghans.  Maybe even take off the bad parts where I started?  Also, how do I fix the side wobbles?"

She led him back to a work table and let him lay it out for her.  Then she looked at him. "I'm not sure you can split them.  You'd lose at least two rows on each side to give it a stable edge."

"Can we wind a ribbon into it to create a firmer edge?"

"That might keep it from unraveling."  She found a good spot to start and got to work with him.  By the time she got that row cut off, Xander had to check on the dogs and come back.  He got the ribbon he liked with that color and got to work with a needle he also bought, wrapping it around.  She smiled at that, nodding that it was a good job.  They split another section, letting one row unravel on each side to remove the cut loops, then Xander did the ribbon thing again.  "That works."  She let him bag the afghans and the small bottom part back up and then let him pick out more yarns.  By the time they were done, the till was a few hundred dollars richer and the trunk of his corvette was full.  His dogs weren't happy but they'd get to go play in the park or something probably.  She waved and smiled.  "He's such a goofball but cute.  Especially with the hair."  She made a note about what they had done to the afghan to pass onto her crocheting and knitting lists online.  Maybe they could improve on it and it was a cute story.  Because he must've been going all weekend to get it that long.

***

A few weeks later, Xander knocked on Horatio's door and smiled, handing him a large package.  "I've been bored."  He walked off, heading for the corvette and then home.

Horatio walked the present inside, setting it on the dining room table.  Speed craned his neck, trying to see.  "He said he's been bored."  Speed let out a small whimper but he got up to see what the new present was.  Inside was a very nice afghan.  A king-size one so they could snuggle under together in bed.  It was dark blue and black together and very soft yarn.  It also had a tag about how you should wash it.  Horatio put it aside and looked at the other mass of yarn.  He pulled it out, letting Speed take one side of it.  They looked, it was fitted.  It had a raised section.  It had a long section.  "Is that what I think it is?"

"He made a hummer cozy," Speed agreed, shaking his head.  "Put it on the hummer so we can take pictures?"  Horatio gave him a look.  "It's adorable. It's the same color as your eyes.  Just for now?"  Horatio moaned and went to do that for him.  He looked at it, it did fit.  It was the same color as his eyes.  His elderly neighbor gave him an odd look.  Speed came out with a grin.  "Xander, the one with the hair," he explained.  "He's been bored and just learned how to crochet."

"It's a darling hummer cozy.  You should keep it on there in the garage, boys, that way it doesn't get wet."  She ducked back in, calling the others on their street so they could come see too.

"Take the picture, Speed," Horatio ordered quietly.  Speed snickered and backed up to get a good picture, which Horatio tried to get out of but one of the very helpful neighbors pushed him back into view.  Speed grinned and took a few pictures, winking at the neighbor.  "Xander," Horatio explained.  "He's learning how to crochet."

"The one with the corvette and the hair?" that helpful neighbor asked.  He nodded.  "Well, it's a darling project, Horatio."  She smiled and patted him on the cheek, taking her own pictures.  Then she went to tell the ones the other neighbor hadn't reached.

"It's supposed to rain tonight," Speed announced.  "That means it's got to go into the garage so it doesn't get ruined."  He helped Horatio take it off and fold it carefully, then put it into their garage.  "Think he used his skills to keep it going?"

Horatio nodded at that.  "Quite possibly."  He went inside to call Don.  "Is he using his magic to crochet as well?"  He listened to the story about Xander doing it in his sleep, manually.  No magic that he had seen.  "Don, he made us a hummer cover."  Speed slid past him.  "Don't you dare email that to Frank."

"I'm not."  He went into the office to download the pictures, sending them to Mac.  Mac would easily pass them around to Frank and the others.  "I wonder if he made one for his SUV too," he mused, calling over there.  "Xander, we *loved* the hummer cover.  Yeah, all the neighbors thought it was adorable too.  You're doing it manually, right?"  He smiled at the assurance that the one time he had slipped he had put it down and went to do something else.  "You're right, you do need something else to do all day.  No, seriously, all the neighbors thought it was darling.  I've got pictures.  It fit nearly perfectly.  How did you measure it?"  He smirked at the story of bribing Ryan to help him by promising to stay out of trouble for two full weeks.  "That works.  Sure, we do love it.  It's in the garage right now because it's supposed to rain tonight and we don't want to ruin it, but we'll be using my personal hummer cover on Horatio tonight," he promised with a grin.  "You too.  Behave.  No, I think purple would go very well on your SUV or Don's bike," he assured him with a grin. "Thanks, dear."  He hung up and found Horatio staring at him.  "It will."

"Don's going to have fits if his precious bike was covered.  Think about what you would do if he made you one for your bike."

"I'd be very thankful that it'd stay warm on those nights when it gets a bit cold."  He stole a kiss with a grin.  "Speaking of, I'm feeling a bit chilly myself.  We should cower under our own personal hummer cozy."  He got up to play with Horatio's buttons, earning a look for his pointed hints. "We should."

"We can."  He grabbed their afghan and followed Speed up to the bedroom.  It was sinfully soft and it was a wonderful feeling against his back while he pounded into Speed's body until his mate gave up and came for him.

***

Mac opened his email, downloading the pictures.  Then he stared.   "Uh-huh," he said quietly.  He went back to the short note attached.  It was what he thought it was.  He sent it to Stella and Danny with a grin.  Hopefully Danny already knew, but now and then he still didn't pay enough attention to Xander.  As evidenced by him crocheting hummer covers.  Stella knocked and came in, looking over his shoulder.  "Xander's most recent project."

"Is that what I think it is?"

"He crocheted a hummer cover," he agreed, smiling some.  It was a really strange idea.  "It was a present to Horatio."

"He does baby his hummer," she said dryly, shaking her head.  Then she gave Mac a hug.  "I'm bored."

"Those are dangerous words," he teased with a smile.  She gave him a look.  "Movie?"

"Club?" she countered.

"Movie?" he tried again, smiling a bit.

"In a real theater?"

"I can go for that," he decided.  "But you buy your own popcorn since you get the humongous size."

She rolled her eyes.  "Fine.  But I get to pick the movie."

"There's a nice foreign film festival."  She handed over two tickets then walked away.  He looked then at her sashaying behind.  "Fine, we can go see the newest action film and laugh at it," he agreed, grabbing his wallet and things to follow her. Though he did send that picture to Sheldon and others later.

***

Sheldon walked up to Don the next morning, handing him a book.  "Here, projects for Xander to do."  Don moaned, walking off shaking his head.  "Think he could do more for when we have to garage them?" he called after him.  Ray Kowalski gave him an odd look.  "You didn't get a picture of Xander's newest project?"  He slowly shook his head.  Sheldon came over to get into his own email and show him.  Ray whimpered.  "He said he was bored.  I got him a book of projects."

Ray moaned as he dialed his house. "It's me.  Xander's crocheting hummer covers, baby.  He's bored.  Might be a good idea, yes," he agreed.  Then he hung up and put his head down.  "Thank you, Sheldon.  We'll fix the bored one."

Sheldon patted him on the back and left, smiling at Frank when they passed at the elevator. "Saw the new pictures?"

"New pictures?"

"See if you've got an email from Mac."  He got onto the elevator and grinned as the doors shut.  It was a cute project.  He'd never have thought of doing that.

Frank went to his desk to log into his email, then stared at the picture Mac had sent him.  "Is that what I think it is, Flack?" he called.

"Yes," he moaned, head still down on his very clean and empty desk.  "Xander said he was going to be good for two weeks and he did."

Frank shuddered and closed the picture before anyone else could see.  Someone would be picking on Horatio for that.  Then again, maybe Horatio could use the lightening up.  He saw Horatio slink past and grinned.  "What's wrong, Horatio?  A bit too warm?" he joked.

Horatio glared at him. "Who sent you that picture?"

"Mac."

Horatio walked off muttering under his breath about his friend.  Then he sent a silent prayer at Strife to find Xander something to do before they all went insane with him.  He walked into his office and closed the door, locking it again so he could have some peace from the teasing.  Even Speed had teased.  It wasn't fair.  He was nearly ready to pout.  He had a few pieces of chocolate and the pout eased but it still wasn't nice of his lover to pick on him and recruit others to help him.

***

Xander looked up as his not-very-secret admirer Vesvold popped into the house.  "Hi."

"What are you doing?"

"Crocheting.  Why?" he asked, looking confused.  "It gives me something to do and the ferrets love to help."

"I'm sure they do."  He sat down beside him, watching him work.  "There's a new one who would defy me by trying for you," he said quietly.

"Are we talking kidnaping me or otherwise?"

"Probably both."  He stroked over his cheek.  "I don't want you hurt."

Xander gave him a look.  "Not like I'm not hard to kill, Vesvold."  He snuck a kiss and a smile.  "Thank you for the warning."

"I could take you with me."

"Then you'd have to tell the others."

"I can do that as well."  He waved a hand and they all appeared in his sitting room, animals and all.  "There, now you're safer and I'll tell the others."  He stroked his cheek again before smiling and walking off.  He created a phone that would go to the detective's phone, letting it connect.  "Don Flack?"  He smiled at the assurance.  "Vesvold.  I have Xander.  There's another suitor coming after him and I needed to protect him from this one.  He's a bit violent and would harm your boy if he resisted.  So he's with me for a while.  I also have the animals since they were helping him play with the yarn."  He smiled and hung up.  "There, that's done.  Mother, Xander's up for his own protection," he called.  She came to talk to the young immortal while Vesvold watched.

***

Don Flack Senior hung up his phone and groaned, calling his son.  "I know it's short notice but I got a call from someone named Vesvold who's guarding your boy for you against someone coming after him.  He said a suitor, son.  He said he's a bit violent and would probably hurt your boy if he resisted.  I don't know why he called me but he did say all the animals were with him at the moment.  They were helping him play with yarn?"  He heard the story of Xander making afghans, including one larger than that obscenely large bed he had.  "Uh-huh.  Okay.  If that floats his boat.  Probably goes with his hair.  That's fine, son.  Thought you should know since he called me instead of you."  He smirked.  "Have a better day then."  He hung up and went back to relaxing.  His son was going to straighten that mess out so it wouldn't make him have mental pictures he didn't want anymore.

***

Don Junior hung up his phone then looked up.  "Hey, Vessie, I'm a *junior* not the only one," he called quietly.  "Thanks for the guarding though."  He walked off shaking his head. Speed looked over from photographing tire treads.  "Ves's got him. Someone new is coming and violent.  He even took the yarn and the animals."

"Charming."  He took another picture then looked at him again.  "Xander okay?"

"Yeah, just apparently up there with him."  He shrugged. "What do I know.  I hope he took all the yarn with him."

"If not, maybe he can find something like it up there for Xander."  He got back to work.  He'd tell the others later.

Don went back to questioning the people who were standing around.  It was odd but that meant Xander would be safer and he'd get to sleep at a decent hour tonight, instead of after screwing Xander into the bed again.  It was his night but he'd pout at him later for robbing him of that pleasure.

***

Xander walked into the Demonic Council's chambers and slid into Vesvold's lap, his dragon sitting beside them.  "I'm sorry I made a mess in your sitting room," he offered quietly.  "The bad guy came and he was stupid."  He looked up at him, still teasing his chest with a fingertip.  "So I made a mess and I broke that vase that had the thing trapped in it but I retrapped it for you.  Oh, and your mother found me some demon hair to crochet with, it's very soft."  He kissed him on the cheek then got up, his dragon following him.

Vesvold shook his head to clear it then looked at the others.  "Excuse me for a moment.  I need to find out who was stupid enough to try to invade my home."  He got up and walked out, finding Xander making something to help clean up the mess.  "What's that?"

"Something Ryan found and it works really good on carpets."  He handed it over to the cleaning demon.  "There, try that."  He grinned at him then at his host.  "I'm sorry I made the mess."

"It's all right.  What attacked you?"  Xander pointed at the fireplace and the slowly roasting demon.  "Hmm.  I don't know her."

"Not like I do but apparently she knew about the slavery and battle ring."  He gave him a look. "Oooh!"  He showed him the project he was working on.  "See?"

"It's very pretty, Xander, and that demon's hair would be very soft."  He smiled and stroked his cheek then went to look at the demon closer.  He knew that clan.  He walked out, going to find one of them and ask them what their female had been doing.  Xander could handle the clean up and his mother was still in residence.  Mother did dote on his love.

***

Don walked into the house and found a few lumps of fabric on the table with a large box.  He looked at the tag, it was for Danny so he left it there and looked at the lumps of fabric.  "Aww, he made someone a scarf."  He sniffed the yarn.  "What sort of yarn is that?"  Ryan walked in and put the bags of groceries on the counter.  "Ryan, what sort of yarn is this?"

Ryan looked then sniffed.  "Molinar demon."  He handed it back.  "Arctic demons."  He went back to help put up the groceries.

Don carefully put it down and went to help him.  He didn't want to know how Xander had gotten demon hair to crochet with or how it got so long.  Ever.  That was going on his list of questions he was not going to ask.  Though he did look up.  "Vesvold, are we getting him back for dinner?" he called quietly.  "If not, need to know that before we start cooking."  The phone rang.  "Flack."  He listened.  "That's fine.  We're having a family picnic tonight.  Whenever's good," he assured him.   He grinned.  "Of course he did.  He's troublesome that way.  All GHS are," he teased.  "Thanks for letting us know."  He hung up.  "Xander's been snatched across temporal realms.  They have no idea where he is or when in that stream he might've landed, but he's fine.  Also, he defeated some demon bimbo who came after him to kill him.  Roasted her in the fireplace."  He got to work on the planned dinner.  Horatio and Speed walked in.  "Any idea what's going on with that mini-convention thingy that's coming up?  It's not sponsored by the group."

"Not a clue," Horatio admitted, giving him a fond pat on the back.  "The animals?"

"With Xander and Vesvold.  They're probably still at Ves's house since Xander's somewhere and when."  He went back to chopping.  "Before anyone asks, it was a jealous demon who shoved him.  They know he's fine, they said he'd be back very shortly."

"Sure," Speed agreed.  "Probably another of his fanclub."  He said a silent prayer to his and his mate's patron saint and got to work helping with dinner.

Horatio looked in the dining room.  "What's that?" he asked.

"Demon wool."

"Molinar demons are arctic demons," Ryan told him.  "Very warm."

"It's still Miami," Speed pointed out dryly.

"Doesn't mean we're always going to stay in Miami," Ryan reminded him, giving him a look.  "You and H as well as us."

"Point," he decided, giving in.  "Did H thank you yet for helping Xander make the hummer cosy?"

"I only let him measure one," Ryan defended.  "I wasn't sure why.  He said something about comparing it to his SUV."

"His is a mini-limo," Don said dryly.  "No comparison to crime lab hummers."  He had a thought and went out to look at their cars, coming back pouting.  "He made one for my bike."

"It's keeping it clean, dust free, and warm," Speed assured him, patting him on the back. "It's a thoughtful gesture, Don."

"Still odd to see the purple yarn cover over my bike."  Speed snickered at that.  "It is!"  He looked at Horatio.  "Yours was what color?"

"Blue.  The color of my eyes," he admitted, coming over to help with dinner.  He heard a bark but it was the annoying poodle from next door getting free again.  They had a downed tree and she liked to climb over it to get over the walls so she could pester Xander's dalmatians.   "Go home," he called.  The dog ran off, scared of men.  "Good."  He got back to work on the hamburgers.  "Who else is coming?"

"Frank.  Calleigh.  Danny if he ever gets home," Don said, shrugging a bit.  "Eric if he ever quits working with Danny."  Speed snickered at that.  "They do work well together."

"They do.  Eric finally gets to the be the smooth, charming one of his team," Speed teased.

"Danny can be damn charming when he wants," Don pouted.  "It's just been a while."

"Then the mini-convention will be good for all of us," Speed reminded him.  He looked out when he saw a car.  "Mac's here.  Alone."  He finished his veggies and put them into the pan to saute.  "Hamburgers and what?"

"Whatever we want," Don reminded him.  "Hey, Mac."

"Where's Xander?  I just had a person say he'd confess if he could look at Xander's bare stomach.  I wanted to see where he ran into him."

"Gone at the moment.  Vesvold took him for his own protection and then lost him for a few," Don offered, grimacing.  "What did your guy do?"

"Kidnaping."

Don gave him a look.  "Wanna use me instead?"

"No, he specified the cute one with the hair."

"Ah."  He nodded at that.  "Okay.  He should be back sometime soon. Promise he'll get him tomorrow or so."

"I tried that.  His lawyer said unless Xander can show up tonight we're going to have to let him go.  We don't have quite enough to charge him."

Don looked up.  "Hey, Vessie, we need Xander back in a hurry," he called.  "Can you maybe speed up the finding process?"  He got back to work.  "We'll know soon.  Dinner?"

"I can."  He came in to use the phone.  "Stella, tell them he's out shopping, it'll be three hours, yes they have to wait.  Thanks.  Vesvold has him."   He hung up and washed his hands, coming over to help.  "Burgers?"  Don nodded.  "Veggie fries too?"  Speed grinned and pointed at what Don was doing.  "I can batter those and fry them."  Don handed over his completed stack so he could get down the batter mix and get to work.

Horatio smiled down at him.  "Is that the one who took the redheaded college girl?"

Mac made an assenting noise.  "And another one.  Fortunately we found her first.  She didn't see her attacker."

"Pity," Speed agreed.  Danny and Eric walked in.  "Set the outer table.  Presents on the inner one from Xander.  He'll be back soon we think," he offered, getting back to work.

"Where is he now?" Danny asked.

"Vesvold," Don told him.  "He lost 'im too.  He's somewhere and when."

"Charming!"  He went to look at the presents, bursting out giggling. "Don, he made a dick holder!" he laughed, bringing it out.  "A lot of them.  Apparently he thinks the toys are cold too."

"He complained the metal one was," he pointed out, grinning at him.  "We've got to get him a second hobby."  Danny snickered, going to slide them into their room, then clean up in there.

Eric walked off shaking his head.  "I don't want to know.  Has anyone seen Aiden?"

"Not today," Mac called after him.

Ryan shrugged. "I haven't seen her in weeks."

"Me either," Horatio admitted.  "Speed?"

"Four days."

"That's when I saw her too," Mac agreed.  "We were going over the holiday presents for this year."  Ryan moaned. "I know your OCD must throw fits."

"I spent ten hours last year wrapping *one* present because the corners never came out right," he admitted.  "I need to get better at that stuff."

"You do have time for therapy," Don said firmly, giving him a look.  "You're still better than you were, right?"

"Yeah, about some situations.  I no longer fuss about every speck of dirt I get hit with in the field.  I can camp if I have to."  Strife appeared.  "Vessie has him."

"He hates that name," he said dryly.  "We know where he is, not when.  It'll be an hour or so and he might come back fussy."  He looked at Speed, then at Horatio.  "The upcoming thing'll be good for you two.  Go."  Then he disappeared.

"I was planning on it," Speed said, looking at his husband.  "You?"

"I was as well," he agreed, shrugging a bit.  "Now we know we need to go."

"You needed to go anyway," Don said quietly, looking at him.  "You've given too much to others and didn't spend any on yourself or Speed."  Horatio nodded at that wisdom.  "So go, have fun.  We'll keep our end of the party down for you and all that good stuff."

"Thank you."

"Welcome."  He handed over the last of the veggies to Mac and got to work frying the burgers.  "Isn't someone supposed to be setting the table."

"Danny, go set the table!" Mac called.

"Yes, mother!" he snapped back, going to do that.  "I was looking at the amended afghan on the bed.  He trimmed it down, Don."

"That's fine.  Maybe he'll make one giant one again. It was kinda cozy."  That got a smile. "With real yarn, not demon yarn like the scarves, but real yarn would be nice."  Danny grabbed the dishes and walked out to set the table outside.

***

Xander appeared, finally, and huffed, stomping a foot.  "My pets?" he called.  The animals all appeared and so did two human looking beings.  "Guys," he said impatiently.  The vampires left their things then headed off again.  "Thank you."

"What are you wearing?" Don asked, looking at the thin, nearly see-through harem pants and dangling coin waist chain, plus the matching nipple rings and necklace, along with three bangle bracelets and the tiara in his braided hair.  He was also barefoot.  "C'mere."  Xander carefully stepped closer and settled in his lap.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine.  I was treated like the princess I am," he said dryly.  He grimaced. "It was an ancient vampire overlord who wanted me to be his queen."

"Did he touch you?" Horatio asked quietly.

"Not after I staked him," Xander said with a sweet smile.  "Then I got to be the head princess."  That got a snicker from Speed.  "I am!"

"You can be," he agreed.  "Nipple rings fun?"

"They're okay.  Not that great.  They're also welded in.  They were done before I woke up.  As was the one in my balls."  He wiggled back to his feet and bent down.  "Can you please take the tiara off?"  Don removed it and his necklace for him, letting Xander get the bracelets.  They all went onto the bags then Xander trekked into the house with the animals following. Hubert picked up the ferrets and carried them in after him.  "Thanks, baby."  He put them back into their cage, fed them and the dogs, then got Hubert a steak.  He found the wire cutters and came back out to find Horatio buried under a pile of something.  "Hey!" he called. "That's not nice!  Get it off him!"  The pile relocated ten feet to the side. "Thank you!" he snapped. "Now, go away!"  The portal closed and he huffed.  "Horatio, are you all right?" he asked, giving him a hug.

"I'm fine, Xander.  Thank you for getting me free."

"Not a problem.  Hi, Mac.  Didn't see you."

"That's all right.  I came to see if you'd flash my newest suspect.  He said he'd confess if he got a peek at your abs."

"Sure.  What do I care?  Can I go in this?"

"I don't care," he admitted, looking at Danny and Don.

"I'd rather he be wearing real pants," Danny complained.

"Yeah, those are a bit thin," Don agreed, looking him over.  "Is that a plug?  It looks purple."

"I had to do something so I was amused while the vampires danced and sang for my pleasure," he snorted.  "Let me find shoes, Mac."  That got a nod and he went to do that, leaving the wire cutters with Ryan for now.  He came out with his hair partially unbraided but clipped it off so the top was still done, just the bottom part was trailing down his back in waves.  "Braided it wet.  Always liked that effect."  He followed him to his car, letting him drive them to his station.  He walked in past Sheldon, waving a bit.  "Back again," he quipped.  "Vampire princes this time."  He signed himself in, clipping the visitor's pass to his belt.  Then he headed up to the interrogation rooms.  The officers around him gave him odd looks. "Just got back from another kidnaping.  Mac wanted me to talk to Stella about my new tiara.  Came right over."  He got into the elevator and got out on the right floor, going to find Stella staring at the fussy and whining bastard in the glassed in room.  He kissed her on the cheek in full view of the guy.  "Mac said you can have my new tiara but it'll mean you're the new princess of a vampire realm, as the person who took me told me."

She looked at him.  "Excuse me?"

He nodded. "Yup."  He shrugged. "Not a clue.  I woke up there and pierced."  He looked at the man inside, making him drool.  He even opened the door.  "Sorry, I need Stella for a minute then you can have her back.  The people who just snatched me liked her and Horatio both.  They couldn't decide."  He closed the door and looked at her, facing her and letting his very tanned butt face the glass windows into the room.  "So, do you want to be a vampire princess?"

"Not especially," she admitted, looking a bit confused.  "When did you get taken?"

"Earlier.  Vesvold came to save me from someone trying for me."  He felt someone moving behind him but ignored it until something thumped on the glass.  "Anyway," he sighed, rolling his eyes.  "Do you want the new pretty shiny thing or not?"

"Not particularly.  Not with that sort of string.  Were they nice?"

"Very after I staked their leader."

She just nodded at that.  "Shift to the right," she said with a small smile.  Xander did that and the man with his face pressed against the glass did the same.  "Thanks.  He's licking the glass."

"Well, clearly he thinks he can have a taste," he quipped, grinning at Mac.  "This one?"

"That one," he admitted, walking into the room.  "You done yet?  I should get Xander home."

"Can I have him instead of the girls I took?" he asked, turning to look at Mac.  "I'll be very good to him.  He won't be hurt at all as long as he follows my rules."

"His present keepers wouldn't like that."

"I can buy them off," he offered.

Mac looked at him.  "Xander got given over ten million in jewelry in the last three years.  I doubt that."  The man pouted.  "Xander?"  He walked in, looking attentive.  "Make sure he knows you're taken?"

Xander looked at him and laughed.  "I'm sorry, baby, but I've got two boys who're presently keeping me chained to the house and their two best friends too on occasion when I get naughty."  He blinked his big, brown eyes at him and the man melted, coming over to hug him.  "You might be nicer, but with how I heard you treated your last ones?  I'm not sure of that.  If you tell Mac, I'll consider it for a few minutes."

"I can do that!"  He came over to tell Mac how he'd keep him in splendor, letting him ask specific questions about his last detainees.  He nudged his lawyer, who moaned. "He's worthy of me!"

"This is still stupid," he said, sneering at Xander.  "This is illegal somehow!"

"No it's not.  He asked to see me.  I'm here."  He shrugged a bit, then grinned.  "Even Vice likes me sometimes."  The man looked stunned.  "I'm a really good poker player.  I helped them bust a gambling operation once."  The lawyer moaned.  "So no, I'm being a good boy today."  He blinked his eyes at him.  "Aren't I?" he asked, starting to pout.

The lawyer swallowed.  "I can see that you are, young man.  We'll use this to our advantage."

"I'm sure you will."  He walked out when Stella came in to get him.  "I've got to go home and remove these rings.  Someone welded them in."  He skipped back to the elevator and down to catch a cab home.  Of course, Sheldon was still there so he drove him home.  "Hi."

"Hi."   He grinned at him.  "Thank you."

"He might use a mental plea."

"That can happen but we can prove he wasn't when he did it."  He pulled onto the street and took Xander back to his house, letting him get out and go pounce Ryan since he still had the wire cutters.  "Thanks, guys.  Stella said she didn't want the tiara."  He backed out and headed for his house.  It had been a strange Xander-ish day.  He wanted a beer.

Ryan made Xander quit wiggling on his lap. "Want those out?"

"Please!  They're either in the wrong spot or they're too deep.  They hurt!"

"Okay."  He lifted one of the rings, snipping it gently then sliding it out.  Xander sighed in pleasure and got hard.  "Don't you dare get off on my lap.  I've got to go home tonight," he teased.  He did the same to the other one and Xander shivered then got up and leaned on the table, undoing his pants.  Ryan got the small ring in his ball sack and Xander nearly fell to his knees in pleasure as it was slid out.  "There you go.  Jump your boys."  Xander pounced Danny right there, driving him onto the ground to get what he wanted and needed.  It had been a while!  Ryan put the rings onto a napkin and sat down to eat some more.  He looked at Speed and Horatio.  "They were a bit too deep."

"Boys, go inside, my husband doesn't need to see you two do that," Speed complained.  Don got them up and pointed toward the house, letting Danny drag him inside and have him in the kitchen instead.  "Thanks," he called after them. "Ah, another exciting day in Xander's version of Miami."  Horatio pinched him.  "It is!"

"It is, but it's not nice to say."

"Fine, the GHS Miami then," he teased.  "Maybe you should have the tiara?"

"Do you want to sleep on the couch tonight?"

Speed kissed him and whispered in his ear, earning a shiver.  "I don't think so."  He grinned, a little smirk, at his mate.  "We should go."

"Let me finish eating."

"Sure.  You eat some more."  He stroked Horatio's thigh under the table.  "So, guys," he said with a grin.

Ryan and Eric both snickered.  "Not going to look at your presents, Horatio?" Eric teased.

"I don't need presents, Eric."

"We can figure out what to do with them in a few days, when Xander's up to looking at his," Ryan agreed.  "Since apparently Xander appointed me over the closets again."  Don snickered.  "Did you get that email?"

"I did but I'm over his bank accounts at the moment.  Danny's doing the bills.  Xander said so," he offered at Speed's curious look.  "He said he's tired of dealing with it so we can for the next two months.  I'm also over his weapons at the moment.  All but his sword because only he takes care of that."

Horatio rolled his eyes but leaned back.  "That boy is going to drive you insane again.  He's clearly on another upswing."

"We've dealt in the past," Eric reminded him.  "We can again."  He looked at Ryan.  "Are you coming over tonight?"

"No, I'm going to go home, my home," he said firmly, giving him a look. "I haven't cleaned there recently and I'm tired of cleaning your shower.  It's never going to get any better and it's driving me nuts."

"Sure.  I get that.  Want me to come over?"

Ryan shrugged.  "Up to you."

"Sure."  He grinned.  "Aiden too?"

"Up to her but I'm not sleeping with both of you."

"Point.  It'll be just us tonight then."  Ryan grinned and got up to haul the stuff inside to the practice area.  It was the usual spot.  He did look at the tiara.  It was gaudy but tiny.  Not Xander's usual style at all.

A Treat.

Speed looked at the message waiting on them at the hotel, mentally groaning.  It was a regional GHS convention this weekend and he did not need stress.  Horatio did not need stress.  Horatio *really* did not need stress.  It was outside of Miami, at a resort down in the Keys so no one there knew them.  They could be the couple they were with the family.  He flipped it open, finding it in a readable handwriting, which made him check the signature.  Ah, he had printed it.  Made sense with Xander's handwriting sometimes.

//You two need a long vacation without any Xander-related stress, stories, or problems.  Therefore, I'm going to hide and be good all weekend with my boys.  Consider me a taboo topic of discussion and baby your boy until he glows like I do after a full day in the spa.  I'm sorry I've been so stressful recently but that is why I sponsored this event, for you two.  Now, on the other side is the reservation I have in the spa.  It's yours and his.  Expect him to need carried back to bed when they're done with him.  It's also got a permission slip to take my time.  Also, expect some prezzies in your room when you get up there.  Go shag your boy into the bed and take a vacation, Speed.  Love you guys and I really don't mean to be that mean to you two.  Xander the Magnificent.//

Speed snickered and took the keys, going to find Horatio talking with a few other GHS from around the Southeast.  "Our room's waiting and so is our spa time."

Horatio smiled.  "You were able to get us spa time?"

"Yup."  He handed him over the note with a smile.  "We'll have to tease him when we get home."  He kissed him.  "That's the last mention of him we'll be doing this weekend.  He's right, we need a weekend without the kids."  He winked and walked off.  "Coming?"

"Apparently."  He smiled at the members he had been talking with.  "Vacation.  It's been a long few weeks."  He followed Speed to the elevator, giving him a deep kiss once they were in there together.  "Thank you for spoiling me."

"Welcome.  Not like it's such a hardship, H."  He got them off on their floor, using the card key to get them into their room.  He pulled Horatio in and pushed him against the door, having his mouth again while he used his body to slam the door shut.  "There, you need that swollen lipped/just got out of a really rumpled bed look," he said with a smirk.  "Strip, naughty."  Horatio smiled but did take off his jacket and shirt.  Speed touched the tattoo he had put on Horatio's side.  It was his marking and thier version of their wedding rings.  He stroked his full hand over it while taking another kiss. "The rest too.  Spa times don't start until tomorrow and dinner's not for two hours."  Horatio moaned but finished stripping for his pleasure, walking over to the bed.  At least until he saw the basket waiting on thier private table.

Speed smiled and walked over to check out thier basket of goodies.  White chocolate body paint.  Excellent champagne and two crystal glasses.  Chips that Horatio craved now and then.  Some frozen berries to put in the champagne or to warm up and spread on someone's chest and stomach so they could be licked off.  A soft, silk length of fabric, long enough to use on hands or as a doubled blindfold.  Two edible condoms in a flavor they'd never seen before - creamy, buttery rum?  One slim, slightly malleable plug.  A bottle of oil that Xander usually left in their room, brand new with the plastic still on it.  And a set of those bell balls that you roll in your hand to exercise the muscles.  Horatio hummed, looking at the condoms.  "I'm guessing they're a new flavor," Speed teased, taking them to put them back into the basket.  Then he walked Horatio to the bed, laying him down to play with him.  It was a nice basket.  Nothing pushy but things he could use and Horatio would enjoy.  Definitely put together by a GHS with a clue.

He censored any thoughts of who had put it together.  He refused to think about any of that trio or anyone else they knew tonight.  It was his and Horatio's time together and they needed to reconnect.  He felt a finger trace up under his t-shirt and stood up with another kiss, stripping off for his lover.  Horatio's hands went behind his head as he watched in appreciation but clearly pulling out his limited princess 'please me or else' act.  Speed snickered and spanked the spread knee.  "Do you want to test the fabric first?" he teased.  Horatio gave a negligent shrug but smiled.  "Uh-huh.  Princess," he teased.  Horatio smirked wickedly.  "You know, princesses have to be rescued, pampered, and spoiled."  He leaned down to kiss Horatio, climbing between his spread thighs, teasing his chest and stomach with gentle touches, then grabbed the area over his marking, making Horatio hiss.  "Maybe my princess needs another pretty thing to remind him who holds the tower's keys?" he teased.  He leaned down to nibble on his neck, sucking on it.  Horatio moaned.  "I promise, nothing that Eric could see and pick on you about."

"Thank you," he moaned, tipping his head back, inviting more attention.

Speed smiled down at his boy and went back to putting him into the best place for a GHS.  Pleasured. Pampered.  Ready for everything and desiring it.  Little touches to his stomach.  Little touches to his chest.  Long strokes up his thighs but staying away from where Horatio wanted him to go.  All he wanted to do right now was to make Horatio create those pretty moans that drove him insane.  A nip here.  A nip to the underside of his left pec.  It was a known sweet spot that created those moans he loved.  A lick over the firm, but not too ripped, abs.  Horatio did enough exercise to keep in shape but he wasn't going for ripped and musclebound, which suited Speed just fine most of the time.  He licked up the other side and Horatio wiggled and tried to stifle a giggle but he heard it.  He did it again, staring up at his husband.  This time the laugh came out.  He nipped them and Horatio yelped, earning an evil smirk.  "Better."  He went down to nibble his way up Horatio's thighs, paying attention to the sensitive insides, making him try to shift to get away but he wasn't going to let him escape.  A bit farther up and Horatio let out one of those prized groans.  "That's it.  Do more of those," he ordered, licking over the spot he had bitten.

He worked his way back down and then to the other side, tracing the blood flow and the small scar he had found their second night together.  He traced that with his tongue and Horatio shifted but he kept his thigh there and did it again before nipping over top of it.  "Mine," he reminded him.  "No matter what.  No matter who.  Mine," he murmured into the soft skin.  He licked over it and nipped just an inch up and Horatio yelped again but the moan underneath the noise was what he needed to hear.  His soul needed those noises to make him relax.  He moved up to tease the crease of his thigh, sucking marks all the way up it.  Horatio's thighs spread, a very pretty picture.  He still avoided the hard cock.  He moved back up to the wiggling stomach, going to nip his mark onto his mate's body.  He needed this, needed to look down at him and see where he had been, where he had claimed.  Where he had taken his mate.  Horatio flipped them over, moving to play with his throat.  "Whatever you want," he promised in a low, throaty moan.

Horatio gave him a warm chuckle in his ear.  "Good boy."  He moved to tease his throat, sucking a very visible mark on his throat.  Even if Speed wore a turtleneck, everyone was going to see it.  "That way I can look over and see it."

"All yours," he promised, flipping Horatio over.  "Same as this weekend is all about you.  I'll get plenty of pleasure driving you insane."  He went back to it, driving Horatio out of his mind by attacking the spot he desperately wanted him to play with.  Then he quit and grinned at him.  "Dinner?" he suggested.  Horatio growled.  "You need to eat.  You missed breakfast."

"I'll order room service," he vowed. "Please!" he begged, but Speed's mouth was already back there.  He came and went boneless, sprawled on the bed, watching Speed stroke himself.  "Can I help with that?"

"I think you can."  He stroked faster, just a hint of a twist to his movements, then he sprayed it over his pubic mound, groaning as he spread it into the skin.  Horatio groaned too, lifting his hips.  "That's for later."

"I can't go down there like this," he complained.

"Let it soak in for a minute," he soothed, taking a long, hard kiss that made Horatio pant when he pulled back.  Then he went to get a warm, damp towel.  It cleaned up the majority of the come but there was enough there that he could smell it on his skin.  He took a long sniff to make sure, watching as the cock started to come to life.  "Good boy."  He licked that clean, staring up at his husband.  Horatio whimpered, grabbing the sheets.  He was still sensitive from the last one and Speed wasn't going to show him any mercy.

"Tim," he groaned.  "No teasing.  You said you wouldn't."

"I'm not."  He flicked a lick across the top and pulled away, going to toss that towel into the sink.  He came back and pulled out the pants he wanted Horatio in.  Some thin silk pants.  No shirt.  Deck shoes.  He handed them over and wiggled into his own outfit, tight jeans and a tight t-shirt.  He slid into his sneakers and turned to find Horatio zipping them up.  "Too tight?"

"Killing me," he complained, coming over to grab a kiss.  "Underwear?"

"Monday morning when we go back to work."  He picked up their card key and conference badges, putting them into his pocket.  He took Horatio's hand.  "Don't make me pull out the leash."  He heard a moan but he led Horatio out and to the elevator, letting him get a bit ahead of him when he turned to close the door.  "Elevator.  Unless you want to do the stairs?  I've got a great view."

"These pants are going to make me embarrass myself."

"You have more control than that," he reminded him.  "I'll let you keep it for meals."  He gave him a wink as he pushed the button for the elevator.  The car came, letting them on, and they went down to eat dinner with the other GHS in the area.  He nodded at the ones he knew, smiling at one, giving her a kiss on the cheek.  "You look happy.  The divorce off?"

"No, but I'm so free now," she purred, giving him a deep kiss.  "Thank you for recommending such a good lawyer, Speed."  She kissed Horatio the same. "And you for talking her into giving me a discount."  She strolled off, going to tease her new keeper.

Horatio smiled at Speed. "You talked her into taking the case?"

"No, I said I was referring someone because they were so necessary.  Told her what she'd need so she wouldn't be shocked."  He sat Horatio down at their table, going to get him dinner from the buffet.  Sinfully soft, silky foods.  Calorie laden treats.  Finger foods to feed his baby.  He brought the plate back then went to get him some tea to drink. He came back and found Horatio staring at the plate, then giving him a strange look.   He picked up the object his husband was unsure about.  "Open."  Horatio opened his mouth, taking a small, careful bite, then he moaned and sucked the rest of the food off his fingers.  He smirked.  "I gave them the recipe for you."  He took a kiss and fed him another bite.  Horatio sucked all the attention up, smiling happily at him.  He definitely had the GHS glow.  He was so relaxed, so content looking that it was special.  He finished up with a sinful creation.  Toffee drizzled graham cracker crust with thinly sliced papaya layered then drizzled with butterscotch drops.  Horatio had to lick his lips and take more of the tea.  "Too much?"

"Much too much."

Speed finished that for him and helped him to his feet.  "Room. You need a good night's sleep before I turn you over to so many pampering people in the morning."   He waved at those he knew, taking Horatio upstairs.  He undid the pants once they were back inside their room, letting them drop to the floor.  "Off, Horatio."

Horatio stepped out of his shoes and pants, then lounged on the bed again.  "Only if you give me a show."

Speed smirked.  "You're just a bad boy this weekend, aren't you?"

"When allowed."  He grinned at him.  "Please?"

"If you want."  He kicked off his shoes, finding the room's radio.  It was a great sound system and he found a new present.  One of his favorite club mixes was in the CD player.  He turned it on and adjusted the volume up.  Someone had thoughtfully turned it most of the way down so they wouldn't bother anyone when it first came on.  He turned back around and started on his t-shirt, flashing a bit of skin, then letting it fall.  Moving the other side and inching it up, showing his abs, stroking over them.  Horatio motioned him closer so he stood at the foot of the bed, letting him see as he slowly stripped it off for him.  His shirt came off and he licked his index fingers and thumbs, sucking on them for a second so he could trace wet lines down his chest and stomach.  Horatio followed his hands and he smiled, letting one thumb tease one nipple.  Then the fingers went down his stomach, tracing more down there, slowly moving toward his pants.  The button was undone with a look and Speed turned around to dance to the mirror, watching Horatio's face in it.  Yeah, these pants definitely highlighted the good parts of his ass.  Horatio was glued to it.  He slapped one cheek and heard the groan, saw the hand drifting down to tease his own stomach.  Speed danced some more, making sure he jiggled just right.  Horatio sat up.  "Down."

"No."

"Down or I stop."  Horatio laid back down and Speed grinned over his shoulder at him.  "Good boy."  Horatio growled and pounced, dragging him back onto the bed, stripping the jeans off him and tossing them onto the table.  He went to drive his mate insane, heading right for the heart of the matter, the cock that he would be possessing later.  He mouthed the side, teasing it.  Not taking it into his mouth, just mouthing and licking a small spot on the side.  Speed surged up and flipped him onto his back, grinning down at him.  "Like I said, naughty."

"Play?" he suggested, spreading out for him again.

"Of course I am.  You're my favorite toy."  He moved down to tease, tempt, and drive him to distraction, making him beg for what he wanted.  Simple requests were ignored until they were accompanied by a breathless pant and a moan afterward.  Once he got that, he grabbed the lube out of his bag and got to work teasing him to until he was open and writhing under him.  He looked up, licking across the head of Horatio's cock.   "Babe?"

"Please," he breathed, arching his hips up.

Speed sat up, positioning himself, putting his mouth next to his mate's ear.  "That is my favorite sound."  He slid in slowly, carefully, making Horatio try to push up to make him go faster and deeper, but he leaned his hands on his husband's hips to hold them down.  Horatio let out another breathy moan.  "That's it.  I like that noise just as much.  Give me more," he ordered, pulling out just as slowly.

"Yours."

Speed kissed him.  "Of course you are."   He grinned and slammed in suddenly, making Horatio go over the edge.  Speed stroked him until he was calm then went back to it.  "All mine.  Mine all mine.   Always mine.  No matter who thinks differently you're staying mine."  He started to ride him a bit harder, upping it.  He got back up to the point where Horatio was throwing and rolling his head around while he begged.  Speed helped him mess up his hair, it was a fun game between them.  He was going to come first, he knew that.  He pinched Horatio then he bent down to go back to tormenting the marks he had done earlier.  "Come for me," he panted, ignoring the sweat dripping off his face onto his husband's.  "Come for me, Horatio."

"Soon."

Speed bit him on the shoulder.  "Come," he ordered more firmly.  Horatio yelped but Speed kept going, making him finally come, letting him let go.  He collapsed on top of his mate's stomach.  "Thank you," he panted.

Horatio stroked his back. "I could have finished myself off on you."

"Nope."  He looked up at him when Horatio chuckled.  "This is your weekend.  Not good."  He put his head back down, cuddling him.  All GHS needed cuddles and Horatio was no exception.  Cuddles helped keep them sane.  They got a whole thirty minutes of cuddles before someone knocked on the door.  Speed groaned but got up to see who it was.  He looked at the busboy, blinking in confusion.  "We didn't order....."  The cart was handed over with a smile and he left.  "Hmm."  He walked it inside, plucking his jeans off the table so he could lay the food out.  Oyster pudding.  Chilled white wine.  Crackers.  Good crackers when he tasted one.  He walked over and helped Horatio up, grabbing a towel so he could sit on the hardwood chair on top of it.  Then he pulled his own chair over and opened the wine for them.  He sat, pouring their wine, getting his mate something to nibble on.  "Open?"  Horatio smiled and ate the bite for him, moaning a bit.  Speed took his own bite.  "That's pretty good," he decided, eating another bite before feeding Horatio the other half of his cracker.  They made it through most of the bottle of wine and the pudding, then Speed helped Horatio back to bed so they could cuddle up and sleep.

***

Speed watched as Horatio was led into the spa, smiling and waving at him.  "Be a good boy.  I'm going shopping."  He waited until he disappeared into the changing room.  Then Speed happily went to find something to spoil his mate enough that he'd blush.

Horatio shifted in his waist-wrapped towel.  Speed had inserted the new plug before coming down.  It was a bit loose this morning after the pre-breakfast sex.  He wiggled a bit, feeling it shift, but it settled into a more comfortable spot.  He looked up as his 'manager' came in to get him, smiling at her. "Ready?"

"Yes we are.  Your personal room is all ready for you, Horatio.  Right this way please."  She led him to his personal room.  "All your treatments will be in here.  We'll come to you while you rest and relax.  We're here to serve you."  She got him onto the table and covered him with a small sheet.  "Now, lay back, let me have your towel."  He took it off under the sheet.  "Good boy, Horatio.  One last thing."  She uncovered a small table.  "It's a special we run for our GHS members."  She came over, tying the blindfold on him.  Then she clapped the padded leather handcuffs on him, hitching him to the table.  "That way all you can do is enjoy it," she whispered in his ear.  "Relax.  We are professionals.  We won't hurt you.  We don't want to steal you.  All we want to do is pamper you."

"Did the person who booked this know about this?"

"No," she said, grinning down at him.  "But I promise you you're very safe, Horatio.  We'll have a monitoring camera on you the whole time."  She left him alone, closing the door gently.

Horatio shifted, feeling the give in the cuffs.  If he really wanted to he could get one of them undone.  He made himself relax, knowing that Xander would not allow him to be hurt.  He doubted that Xander didn't have a clue.  Xander had sampled all the spas in the surrounding areas.  Xander was also very wary of being tied down.  Someone knocked then came in, making him listen to her dragging in something with wheels.  "Is this normal?"

"Only for our GHS members, Horatio.  It makes it so they *have* to enjoy it.  They have to focus solely on what we're doing to them, making them enjoy it.  It also helps some of those who've been stolen and kept for a while.  It teaches them that we're not all like that.  My name is Midori.  I'm here to do your foot massage.  I'm married to a beautiful man and have two children.  You have nothing to fear from me.  So relax and enjoy."  She pulled over something else and he could hear a quiet squeak.  "This should feel about body temperature.  You might feel a bit of coolness at first."  She got to work on his feet.  "This is the pre-cleaning wrap.  It's got seaweed oils and other oils to help soften some of the calluses.  Then we'll do a foot soak, a bit of cleaning up of the calluses, and then a good massage and pedicure.  All right?"  He nodded.  "Good boy.  Just relax and let me work."  He relaxed again and she got to work slathering the slimy goop on his feet.  "Good boy."  She finished with one and slid on the booties.  "These are heating wraps.  They'll heat it slightly.  Your feet should feel a bit sweaty.  It'll take about ten minutes and then I'll come back to do the rest.  Would you like me to turn on some light music?"

"I'd prefer being able to hear.  I'm an officer."

"I understand.  The next room over has music if you try to hear it."  She gave him a pat on the ankle and left him alone.

Horatio listened, he could just barely hear the rooms around him.  One had music, jazz.  One had someone moaning in pleasure.  He smiled at that well-known sound.  The one with music squealed suddenly and he chuckled.  That was a sound he understood as well.  Speed had made him do that this morning by waking him up with one of the chilled berries being eaten off his cock.  Someone tapped and came back in.  "Midori?"

"Sure am."  She closed the door and he heard her sit down again then the booties came off, making him sigh a bit.  "Good work.  Looks good."  She ran a finger through the goop.  "Just right.  Okay, let's hose these puppies off," she said, teasing one sole.  He flexed his toes.  "Good reflexes.  You obviously aren't a beat cop," she teased.

"I'm with the lab."

"Ah."  She got a small hose, cleaning off his feet, making sure to get between his toes.  Then she turned off the hose.  "All clean.  Now, I'm going to run the water for the foot soak."

"I'm laying down."

"Ah, but that's the beauty of these beds."  She did something that made three things click and the bed shifted, turning into a lounger instead.  He was sitting up, his feet were elevated, like in a craftmatic bed.  He hummed at that.  She giggled.  "It's a great table."  She pulled over something else with wheels and made something else click, raising it up onto his feet.  "There, that's just about right."  She ran warm water into it and suds.  "The bubbles are pomegranate extract and some conditioning stuff.  Long chemical names that might interest you but I can't pronounce half of them," she chatted, making sure the water came right to his ankles.  She had to adjust the bed a bit more but that was fine with him.  He shifted and she adjusted his cuffs, checking his wrist.  "No chafing and no pulling.  We're not mean here."  She patted him on the bare knee.  "Now, you're going to be doing this part for twenty minutes.  Want to listen to the person next door?  Her keeper is giving her a massage.  Or I can turn on some music or a book on tape.  Your keeper dropped two off for you to choose from."

"Which one?"

"One's a fantasy novel and one's a classic of literature. _The Odyssey_."

"What's the fantasy novel?"

"One of the Terry Pratchet ones."

"The fantasy one."  She slid it into the player, he could hear the drawer slide out then slide back in.  "He was here?"

"He dropped it off.  He said to tell you he's arranging for lunch and then going to your favorite shop."  She came back over to check one of his feet.  "Getting there."  She stroked over the top of his foot.  "I'm going to go rinse off someone else and I'll be back in a few minutes."  He nodded and she left, closing the door behind herself.

Horatio settled in to listen, blinking at the silliness of the story.  It was definitely relaxing him.  Speed knew what he needed in a vacation.  Even if the cuffs were distracting him.  He'd have to tell him about this later.  He yawned and wiggled his toes.  This was nice.  He could feel the currents around his feet, the bubbles popping against his skin.  He could hear the GHS in the next room getting a lot more than a massage too.  Apparently her table squeaked.  He smiled at the story, chuckling a bit.  Someone tapped.  "Yes?"

"Just me," Midori said, coming in and closing the door.  She smiled at the pretty picture he made, coming to drain the water.  "There we are.  Let me rinse you off."  She ran some clean water to rinse him off and let him soak in that instead while she got to work with the soft brush on his toes.  Once she had them cleaned and trimmed she got to work on his calluses with a file.  That was basically using something like a nail file on his heels.  "Tell me if it hurts."

"I will," he agreed quietly.  He finished relaxing when she got done and smoothed some lotion around his feet, putting socks on afterward.  He smiled.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome."  She moved the tub and adjusted the bed into the table format.  "There we go.  The next person coming in is a masseuse and he'll be doing a full body massage."

"He?"

"Very gay, Horatio, but he won't hit on you.  He's also in a highly committed relationship.  Has been for about three years now.  He's a very nice man but he's got *hands*," she moaned.  "He's my yearly christmas present to myself."  She gave him a pat on the head, straightening out some of his hair.  "Should I send in our water girl?"  He nodded.  "All right, I can do that."  She left and took her rolling cart with her.

Horatio waited and a softer knock happened.  "Enter."

A perfumed, young sounding woman came in.  "I've got some juice, some water, and some milk, Horatio.  Which would you like?" she asked.

"What sort of juice?"

"I've got apple and I've got an acid-reduced orange juice with calcium."

"Water's good," he decided.

"Okay."  He felt her come closer.  "There's a straw.  Open?"  He opened his mouth and she put the end of the straw in his mouth.  "There, that's good.  Need the head up?"  He shook his head, taking a few long drinks.  "Good boy.  I'll leave this in here and your next caretaker can call me back if you need more."  She left, closing the door behind her.

He realized she hadn't closed the door while she had been inside and wondered why and who had seen him.  His masseuse came in, he could hear him.  "Hello," he said quietly.

"Horatio.  Need anything before I start?"

"She left the door open?"

"She's not allowed to be in a room alone with anyone," he admitted, coming over.  "She's just started her training.  I was right outside and the door was mostly closed so no one could see a thing.  Your privacy is very important to us."  He checked the blindfold and the cuffs, smiling at him.  "Want some more water?  I'm going to have oily gloves until I turn you over."

"Please."  He was given more and then he was flipped onto his stomach and rehitched with his hands under his head.  "Is that really necessary?"

"It's so you have to focus on the pleasure.  Now, anything I should know?  Medical conditions?  Any recent injuries?  Before you say a word, brother, I saw how you moved, and I understand."  He saw the blush.  "Been there myself.  My boy's a football player."  He patted him on the head.  "Any recent problems?"

"My left shoulder's hurt a few times.  Mostly from lifting."

"Okay.  I'll pay special attention to it."  He looked at his cart.  Then he readjusted the blindfold.  "No peeking."  He pulled on some gloves.  "These are non-latex, but they are a bit textured.  Would you like orange, pomegranate, or fig oil?"

"She used pomegranate on my feet but Tim likes figs."  He let him sniff it, earning a grimace.  "Orange?"  He sniffed that and nodded.  "That smells subtle."

"It usually is.  When I'm done I wipe you down with a warm towel and then we do a body wrap."

"So I'll be here until dinner?"

"Oh, yes, brother."  He got to work on the back of his neck, slowly and gently working the muscles until he untensed.  "I know it's a vulnerable position.  Especially for an officer and especially for someone who's been kidnaped.  You can trust me.  I'm not a mean guy.  I'm not going to steal you.  My boy's very possessive and the last time I looked in the mall I got paddled so badly I couldn't sit for a week.  Since then, we've had some therapy but he's still jealous."  Horatio smiled at that.  "As I'm sure your Tim is if he's a smart man."

"He can be but we do have friends who're allowed to tease me."

"Then you're a lucky man, Horatio."  He moved down to his shoulders, paying special attention to that shoulder.  Horatio let out a pained moan so he paid more attention to it.  "I think you pulled it, Horatio.  You need to baby that for a few more days."  He finished easing the pain in it and moved down.  Horatio went back to moaning, enjoying, focusing on what his hands were doing.  "Is it going to bother you if I do your butt?"  Horatio nodded.  "Then I won't."  He skipped that and the highest part of his thighs, but he still got the majority of the muscle mass.  He saw him bite his lip.  "Bathroom?"

"Soon."

"We can do this one of two ways.  Would you be comfortable with someone helping you?"  He shook his head quickly.  "Neither am I."  He came up to unhitch him by taking off the cuffs, then he took off the blindfold, handing him back the waist wrap.  "There we go.  It's there," he said with a nod to the second doorway in the room.  Horatio nodded, going that way, shutting the door.  He got everything ready for when he came out, helping him back onto the table.  He even turned around when Horatio took off the waist wrap and laid down, letting him adjust his own towel.  "Let's get you onto your back.  I can do your calves from that position."  Horatio nodded, shifting back onto his back.  His hands were rehitched under his head and the blindfold was reapplied.  Then he got to work on his arms.  Each hand was released so he could give him a hand massage, earning such a moan.  He smiled gently at him.  "You must love it when your Tim does this for you.  It's clear your hands are your life."

"I work in the crime lab," he said quietly.

"Ah!  A smart, strong man," he teased.  "Let me know if I tickle you."  He moved down to work his chest and sides.  One spot got a laugh and a flinch away so he avoided it.  "Sorry."

"It's all right."

"After this, we'll be doing a wrap.  You're going to be swaddled in light towels.  We're going to wrap your arms in that position so you don't feel really tied down."  Horatio smiled at that.  "Some claustrophobics feel better about that."  Horatio nodded.  "Good."   He kept going, letting the bottom of the table drop so he could get his calves fully.  "There we are," he said once he was done.  His client was a puddle of goo on the table.  "I'm going to start with your legs now."  He wrapped the treated, warmed towels around each limb, avoiding his groin.  Then he worked it over his stomach and chest, tucking it under his chin.  "Comfy?"  Horatio nodded.  He turned back on the book, took off his gloves, and left him alone once he had some more of his water.

Horatio drifted, listening to the book, feeling warm, comfortable, and a bit sleepy.  He got through the rest of that CD before someone came back.  They tapped.  "Enter."

"Horatio, I'm Elizabeth.  I'm here to do a scrub."  She came in and changed the CD for him but didn't turn it on.  "Let's get you some water, I know you could use some."  She got him a new bottle, he heard her open it.  "All clean but this is your old straw."  She let him sip.  "All you want.  After this, we're going to hose you off with the high pressure hose and then we're going to do a scalp treatment and your facial, then a final rinse off and you're done with us about three this afternoon."  He nodded once.  "Good boy."  She let him finish the water and stripped off the towels, making sure the door was closed.  "Tommy, your masseuse, said you've had a small pull on your left shoulder?"

"Some lifting problems."

"I'll be very gentle with that one."  She released his hands, letting them have a bit more give when she hitched them back beside his stomach.  "There we go.  Is that comfortable?"  He nodded.  "Good!"  She started at his feet.  "I should ask, would you like us to wax or shave you?"

"Tim would tease me."

"I know some guys like that but some guys don't, I'm not one to judge.  My wife would swat the hell out of me if I did."  He chuckled that.  "She would.  She's like that.  I got swatted for picking on the stupid, slutty cheerleader at the mall last month.  Told her to grow up and find real clothes that were more than a wisp of thought."  He let out a louder laugh and she got back to work with the scratchy things on his leg, then the brush to make sure it was worked in.  Inch by inch, up his body, leaving the scrub on.  She got to his thighs and stopped at the level of the oil, then went to his other side, working her way back up.  She moved up to his stomach, then his chest, not teasing him about his sparse chest hair.  His throat and then his arms.  He heard another click from the bed and squeaked as he was put onto his side, then the back was removed.   "Sorry, a padded side rail.  I should have warned you.  This is so I can get to your back."  She got to work from his neck down. When she was done she recovered him in some scented, warm towels.  "There you go.  It'll be about ten minutes.  Let me go get the shower ready."  She went to do that.

He wiggled a bit.  He wasn't uncomfortable.  The scrub itched.  His bottom wrist was getting uncomfortable.  "Elizabeth, my hand's asleep."

She came back to check it, shifting it some.  "How's that?"  He nodded.  "Just a few more minutes."  She let him have some water, opening it right next to his ear.  "New bottle.  Finish it all then we'll put you into the warm water.  I will say that it's got a very firm spray.  I need you to tell me if it's too harsh."  He nodded, finishing that bottle.  "Good."  She uncuffed him, putting his cuffs back together.  She helped him up, keeping the towels around him.  "Slowly.  There's nothing in your way."  She walked backward, letting him slowly walk after her.  "One small step into the shower.  Four inches."  He lifted his foot, making it over the small lip.  Then his other one was lifted and came in.  "Good.  I'm going to hitch you to the wall."  She put the connecting chain onto a hook.  "Test that."  He did that and nodded.  "Good.  Water coming.  The towels will fall as the scrub gets soaked, then we'll rinse it all off.  I get this job because I don't look," she reminded him.

"I'm plugged."

"I noticed, sweetie, and I'm sure your boy will be *very* happy when you pounce him later.  It shouldn't matter to me."  He nodded, hiding his head in his arm while she turned on the water. He flinched at the first touch but relaxed into it.  "That's half-strength.  Tell me when it gets too much."  She slowly turned it up.  He flinched and shifted so she turned it back down.  "There?"  He nodded.  "Okay.  It shouldn't bruise you.  If it was too hard you might get pinpoint bruises."  He nodded again and she focused the full spray on him, driving him into the wall.  She turned it down some.  "Another good reason to start with the towels," she teased.  She came over to check him then got out of the shower, monitoring him as the towels were soaked and fell off.  She had to admit, he was well built.  She'd never share that opinion but he was.  She used the remote controls to manipulate the spray where he needed it to go, avoiding his butt totally.  Just in case it hit the plug and made him uncomfortable.

He shifted his stance so she hit the switch to cut off the showerhead's spray, getting in there to turn him around, letting him rest his back against the wall his front had warmed, his arms out to the side, the chain unconnected again. "This way I don't hit your face and drown you," she soothed.  She left and closed the door, turning it back on again.  She did cut the strength around his throat, but the rest got the full strength.  She came in with a soft brush to make sure he was all clean, making him giggle.  "Sorry.  Don't mean to hit the ticklish spots."  She finished him up and did one final rinse.  "Okay, we're done with this section."  She turned off the water.  "There we are.  We've got a blow dryer outside."

"Bathroom?" he asked quietly.

"Of course."  She led him that way, helping him sit down, handing him a few fluffy towels.  Then she closed the door and waited outside while he did what he wanted.  He flushed and came out, letting her lead him onto the blow dryer attachment.  "Good.  Now it's time for a scalp and facial."  She led him back out and hitched him back down, the chair back into a lounger configuration.  She kissed him on the forehead.  "I'll leave you now but you've got a small wait.  Toddy's finishing up with his last client. Then he'll come in to play with your face and hair.  Want the CD back?"

"Please."  She turned it back on and kissed him on the forehead again, earning a smile.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, Horatio.  We're here to spoil you rotten."  She left, closing the door behind her.

Horatio relaxed, shifting his butt some.  The plug was still comfortable and he was fine with it.  He heard a tap.  "Enter?"

A deeper cough sounded outside.  "That's my facial and scalp, Nadia. Yours is next door."  He came in and closed the door.  "Sorry, she can't count some days.  Wanted to come see you.  I heard you had a great reaction to your massage."   He set up a few things, Horatio could hear the clinking.  "Are you allergic to anything?  Food, anything?"

"No.  I work in a lab."

"Good!  I use all natural ingredients and sometimes food allergies are important."  He came over, standing in front of Horatio.  "I'm going to straddle your feet for a minute, close your eyes.  Got to remove the blindfold."  Horatio closed his eyes and he removed it.  "Okay.  Don't worry, you'll get cucumber slices instead."  He grinned and tipped the chair slightly.  "There, easier to work, Horatio."  He got to work after a quick stroke to his cheek.  "A bit dry and pale.  How do you manage that down here?"

"I don't know.  Part of the red hair?" he joked.  This guy looked pretty normal.  "What did the others look like?"

"Midori looks like a punk rock princess with about six eyebrow piercings over her right eye.  Tommy looks like a huge bear.  He's so hairy we can't even figure out how to start waxing him.  He was wearing a soft shirt today.  His boyfriend likes to yank his fur," he offered with a grin.  "Elizabeth looks like someone's mom.  Just a bit on the pudgy side and dyed red hair.  She must've been envious over your shade.  You can't get that one from a bottle, no matter how well you can mix them at home."  He grinned and got to work spreading the potion on his face.  Around his nose and up onto his forehead.  "Just relax for me.  After this I get to play with your hair."  He kept going, eventually putting two cucumber slices over his eyes.  "Close.  They're a bit damp so you don't dry out."  Horatio did that.  He finished up and let a mister go across his face once.  "There, so it'll dry out evenly for me."  He moved to his hair, rolling over another bowl.  "This will warm your scalp but will not burn."  He slicked his hands and got to work on a scalp massage.  Slowly working it through the skin and down the hair shafts.  "This has been shown to help bring in some new hair.  It unclogs the hair pores so it can shoot up."  He found a pimple and popped it.  "Slight imperfection.  It'll also make it appear much thicker.  Like young, teenage Horatio hair," he teased.

"It's always been a bit fine," he admitted quietly.

"Awww."  He grinned.  "Could be worse.  I know someone who started to go bald at seventeen."

"Poor man."

"Very but he's fortunate that he looks good bald.  I'd look very horrible."  He went back to work on the scalp massage, hearing the moans.  He finished up and washed his hands in the bathroom, coming back to take the cucumbers.  Then he carefully wiped his face off.  "There, all done.  Let's put on a moisturizer.  Then we'll let you shower out the stuff I put in your hair.  We'll have someone come in to fuss over it for you."  He nodded. "This way you can take a full shower, with soap."  He grinned. "Special soap but still soap because I know you can feel a bit of an oil residue on your skin.  I'll even let you adjust the shower's temperature and spray for your own tastes," he teased.  He got him uncuffed and let him head in there, pulling out the small gift basket.  "Here you go, Horatio.  When you're done, come out and Jessie will be waiting on you."  He left, closing the door gently.  He cleaned up and left, once he heard the shower come on.  "Jessie, he's bathing," he called once he got outside.

"That's good," she agreed, smiling at him.  She brought in her gear and settled the chair how she wanted it.  She heard the shower cut off and sat down to check her nails while he toweled and blow dried off.  He came out and saw her.  "C'mere, sweetie.  I'm Jessie, I'm doing your hair.  You clearly take *very* good care of it, Horatio."

He sat down, making sure the waist wrap stayed closed, letting her fuss over his hair.  It did look thicker when she was done.  It also looked a bit more unruly.  Speed would like that.  He smiled at her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome.   Now, let me do your fingernails.  Can't have them looking all nasty when you look this pretty, dear."  She did his hands, making sure his nails were cleaned, adequately groomed, and shaped, then she smiled.  "Let's lead you back to the changing area."  He nodded, letting her do that.  He did feel so much better now.  "There we go.  Your locker's still there, everything's still in it.  Go to the desk for your sign-out."  She left him alone.

Horatio smiled and shifted some, stretching his arms over his head.  He got dressed, pausing to admire his hair and skin, he was glowing.  He walked out to the desk, smiling at the receptionist.  "Midori?"

"Yup, sure am," she agreed happily.  She let him sign the clipboard she had.  "There you go and this is for you," she said, handing over a large wicker basket.  "Also, you forgot your books."  She slid them on top.  "There you go, Horatio.  You have a great convention and we'll see you sometime soon."  He smiled and headed off.  "Such a nice guy," she sighed.  She shivered.  "Very nice ass too," she told herself, taking the opportunity to look now that he wasn't a client.  Then she went to help them clean up the temporary shop.  They had only done this for him.  Though their masseuse had been talked into taking one other client on temporarily when the other spa overbooked.

Horatio ran into Speed coming in, giving him a gentle kiss and a smile.  "I feel so pampered."

"Good!"  He led him upstairs, letting him put down his basket so he could look.  "Which book did you hear?"

"The first CD of the Pratchet."  He gave him another kiss.  "It was odd. I was handcuffed the whole time."  Speed pulled back to look at him.  "Soft, padded leather cuffs.  They didn't hurt me.  They kept me blindfolded until about forty minutes ago.  It was very relaxing though.  They talked to me, told me who they were, made sure I had plenty of water and pampered me silly."  He wrapped his arms around Speed's neck. "You would *love* their shower.  It's got water pressure hard enough to dent me.  It had a remote control feature.  It was great, Speed."

Speed grinned.  "At least it was a good spa time.  You're okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine.  They said they do it to a lot of GHS members."  He took another kiss. "Rumple me?" he suggested with a naughty grin.  "I've been oiled, scrubbed, massaged, and spoiled all day."

"You sure have."  He got him out of his outfit, looking at his skin.  "You glow like a pregnant woman," he teased, but accepted his swat with a loving kiss.  "You do."  He kept going, getting down onto his knees to suck him off.  "Hmm, no new flavor here but a new soap."

"They didn't touch me anywhere near it.  The masseuse asked if him getting near my rear would bother me and kept to my lower and mid thighs when I said yes."  Speed hummed, sniffing him again then diving in to suck him.  Horatio wound his fingers through the dark hair, tugging gently, teasing the soft strands into whole new levels of messiness.  He came and let Speed sit him on the bed.  "Watch out for the hair."

"I know how precious your hair is," he teased back.  He winked.  "Looks good."  He took a kiss, straddling his mate's hips.  "In me?" he suggested.  Horatio let out a soft growl, flipping them over, stripping Speed down so he could play with him, then enter him when he finally came back up.  Speed whimpered and pushed back, letting him set the pace, loving him being on top this time.  "Mine?" he whispered in his ear.

"All yours," he promised, panting and rocking his hips back. "If you tease me more I'm going to pout."

Horatio nipped him on the neck.  "No you won't.  You'd get me back later."  He sped up anyway, he was getting close so he knew Speed was.  Going and going and going, a thrust, a push, a shove, a swat, then another harder thrust, going and going more and more until he finally came with a shout.  Speed followed and they collapsed with Horatio still on his back, letting him cuddle his mate.  "Mine."

"All yours."  Speed snuggled in, smiling at the soft snores coming from his back.  "No, we won't mess up your hair," he teased gently, enjoying the holding.  He even let himself drift off into another quick nap.  He needed a nap after that.

***

Speed walked Horatio in to dinner that night, smiling at the waiter who came over looking confused.  "What?"

"You had dinner sent up, Mr. Speedle?"

"No....  But if there was, we can do that."  He smiled and nodded.  "We're being spoiled."  He led Horatio back to their room, finding a candlelight, romantic dinner set up on their room's table, the windows open so they could see the breeze and the gentle rain going on outside.  They held hands and fed each other bites of their fish dinners.  Speed got most of Horatio's vegetables but Horatio snuck half of his so it wasn't going to worry him.  They fed each other the sinful four layer chocolate cake with chocolate icing and Horatio moaned the whole way through because they used the really good chocolates they had found out in Las Vegas. Horatio called them fertility chocolates because a few GHS members had gotten pregnant after Xander and Horatio had introduce them to the society.  Speed got the champagne and glasses he had stashed in the proper environments, coming back to have it with the cake, slowly sipping, gently enjoying each other's company, talking about the small stuff: their next vacation, service schedules on the bike, repainting the living room - which somehow Horatio made sound sexual.  Things any normal couple would discuss as they slowly worked their way back up to a cuddling, sensual night in the tub with the new bubbles Horatio had been given as part of his spa basket and then a long night in bed together, still cuddling.

***

Horatio walked up to Xander Monday at lunch, taking off his sunglasses to look at him.  "Are they really a spa?" he asked gently, smiling at him.

"It's the concept for my new spa," he said with a small smile.  "It's going in up in New York.  Did you like it?"

"I did.  It was very relaxing and comforting."  He sat down next to him.  "Thank you, Xander."

"You're welcome.  I was a good boy all weekend."

"I heard what you did to Danny and Don in the club," he noted, giving him a look.  He got a wicked grin back.  "I suppose that's good...for you."  Xander nodded.  "I did like them."

"Think you'd take Speed there?"

"I might," he agreed.  Xander handed over a small envelope.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  I flew them down to spoil you rotten.  You and Speed needed a vacation.  I would've let Tony try it out but he's on a case and slogging through mud at the moment.  Greg's busy and I don't want to interrupt him in the lab.  So you were my willing test subject."  He gave him a kiss on the cheek.  "You always relax more during the conventions."

"I noticed you said you had sponsored it."  He gave him a look.  "Thank you for throwing a convention for us, Xander.  It was very special."

"You're welcome, Horatio.  Now, go plan on how to jump Speed tonight.  He needs a bit of naughty play to shock him into falling on his knees tonight."  Horatio smirked, putting back on his sunglasses as he left the house.  Xander went back to his crocheting.  Don would like the chenille jock strap.  It'd be soft, warm, and fuzzy.   It'd drive him nuts.   Of course, it'd do the same to Stella when he got her set finished.  Maybe she'd let Mac help her figure out how to get it back off once she was in it.  Or maybe he'd send them up to his new spa for the weekend...  That might be fun.  Mac might even relax and enjoy it.

Boys, Thugs, and Presents.

Notes:  takes place after Tony and Greg have gone back to DC in _A Slut Hidden_.

Xander looked over at his housekeeper, smiling at her.  "What's wrong, Tabby?"

"I've got to head to the old country to do the family wedding rituals," she said grimly.  Her accent had come back again.  She was working on smoothing it out so she sounded more like a natural American.

"Okay.  I can handle the house while you're gone."

She snorted, shaking her head.  "No you can't, Xander.  My two houseboys will fill in for me."

"With the short shorts?  Like South Beach houseboys?" he teased.

"As long as you don't hit on them," she said dryly.

"I don't need more boys."

"Good."   She stroked his cheek.  "We'll see if they want to come in dressed up or not.  I'll be leaving early next week so this is fair warning and I'll be back two weeks later."

"Okay.  We can handle it.  If they do things wrong I'll be gentle with them."

"Thank you, Xander."  She patted his hair and went to work on the kitchen. "Did Don cook?"

He looked over.  "Danny made a midnight snack.  He swore up and down he used the dish washer but it's broken.  Which means he closed the handle while half asleep and thought it ran."

"Ah.  I'll get someone in to fix it for you."

"Already called.  My coffee cup was in there."  She rolled her eyes and he went back to his project of the moment.  A chenille jock strap for Horatio.  He'd appreciate it or use it on Speed, who would probably appreciate it.  She gave him an odd look but shook her head and went back to the dishes, smiling when one of the Beauty ferrets came to help by batting at the bubbles.  They were adorable little creatures.  Her houseboys would love some of their own.

***

Xander bounced into the station, smiling at Frank when he ran into him coming out.  He saw the grimace.  "Bad day?"

"Very.  Plus there's Feds in the lab."

"Then I'll give Horatio his present and leave lunch."  He grabbed both baskets and headed up there, smiling at the receptionist.  "Two presents and lunch.  I won't try to deliver today.  Frank told me," he said quietly, getting a smile.  She paged Eric, getting Ryan.  "Hi."  He handed him the baskets.  "Lunch, and enough for the detectives and about half the guys on patrol.  Even on the bad days you have to eat something.  Otherwise you won't have the energy to catch the reason for the bad day."  Ryan smiled at that.  "Also, two presents.  Wrapped and marked.  One's Horatio's and one's Don's."  He gave him a hug and bounced off, going home to figure out what his next project was going to be.

Ryan walked the baskets into the break room, calling the two recipients.  Horatio gave the familiar baskets a fond look.  "He said you had to eat on the bad days or you couldn't stop the reason for the bad day.  Also, you and Don have presents."

"Thank you, Mr. Wolfe," Horatio said quietly, looking in the baskets.  He paged the others with the code 'lunch'.  Everyone came in to get theirs and go back to their desks or eat in the hall on the way to their labs.   They couldn't eat in the labs.  He stuck Don's present in his jacket pocket and his own in his, walking back to his office to take a quiet twenty minutes.

The Fed in Charge stomped in.  "You ordered lunch?"

"No, one of the detective's boyfriends brought it," he admitted, taking a bite.  "He often brings us lunch to ease our moods a bit."  He looked at him, eating another bite and chewing.  "He's a very good cook."  He saw the look from an officer in the doorway.  "Make sure we've all eaten and the rest is patrol's.  Xander cooked."  He nodded, going to do that then spread around the other things.  He looked at Fed in Charge again.  "It's very sweet of him to support us this way.  He's like family to most of us."

"Which person is this?" he sneered.

"Xander," Speed said from behind him.  He was down to using the cane when he had to but he was too stubborn to use it all the time anymore.  "He's a sweet guy and some of us are relationship counselors for him when he's confused."  He looked at him.  "He gave you a present?"

"It feels crocheted," he admitted.  "Don got one too."

"I didn't get to see Don's.  Don opened it, went bright reddish-purple, and headed to the bathroom to cackle and giggle."  He smirked.  "So let's see yours."  The Fed stomped off.  He came in and closed the door, taking the present to unwrap.  He looked at it, blinking.  "It's...."

"Chenille," Horatio said, touching it.  "Very soft and slightly fuzzy."

"I'm so seeing you in this after I spank him later," Speed said, handing it back.

"It should feel very nice," he offered, sticking it in his bag to go home with him. He finished his lunch, tossing out the paper plate before Rick Stetler stomped in.  "Yes, Rick?"

"You and Flack got presents?"

"Xander's been crocheting again," Speed told him.  "After the hummer cozy he's decided to do smaller projects."

"He did what?" he demanded.

Speed found the picture in his phone, showing it to him.  "That was his third project or something."  Rick gaped.  "This time he decided to branch into clothes."

"Clothes?" he said weakly.

"A chenille jockstrap," Horatio told him.  Rick turned red and walked out.  Horatio smiled.  "I can't believe you have a picture of that in your phone.  I thought it was your screensaver at your desk."

"I had to transfer it over somehow," he said dryly, heading back to work.  One of the Fedettes followed him so he logged onto his desktop, making her pause and stare at his backdrop.  He smirked.  "Xander learned how to crochet.  It was a present with an afghan.  He decided the hummer needed protected."

She walked off shaking her head to report that to her boss.  No wonder the boy had brought them a gourmet lunch.  She found her boss.  "You should see Speedle's background on his computer, sir.  The same one who made lunch crocheted a cover for their hummers."  He gaped, then walked off groaning.  "It's a pretty shade of blue," she called after him.  She found Horatio staring at her. "No wonder you get gourmet meals."

Horatio smirked.  "He's the boyfriend of a detective."

"That explains everything else.  Does he enter the labs?"

"The break room to deliver food sometimes.  We have lunch meetings thanks to him."  He walked off happier now.  Now his mind was off the depressing topics and back to making evil plans.  He would have to get Xander back for the soft, fuzzy jockstrap he'd be putting on his boy later.  The card said it was a new experiment and he hoped they had fun with it.  He ran into Don.  "Jockstrap?" he asked quietly.

He gave him a pitiful look.  "Thong.  Chenille?"  Horatio nodded.  "It'll feel odd but probably very comfortable."

"Probably.  We need Xander to give us some information on his other former poker buddies."

"You sure it was them?"

"It was Riaz," he said dryly.  "He took over when Jorge went to jail."

Don called him.  "Xan, we need Riaz.  He blew up an officer."  He smiled.  "Anything you know would be appreciated.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "He said he'd ask around."  He looked at him.  "It's nice that he helped us bust a third of the bad portion of the city's underground," he said since a Fed was hovering.  "Love the guy for it."

Horatio patted him on the shoulder.  "When he knows I need to know."  He nodded, going back to work while Horatio went to talk to Jorge.  He might give up his contacts for some leniency.  After all, he had only gotten ten years for killing the General.  The judge had said a drug dealer and assassin killing a drug dealer for cheating him at cards wasn't premeditated murder, even if he had butchered him, played in his intestines, and made him a few very gruesome pictures.

***

Xander finished up his show, staring at his target, making him swallow his drool.  He padded off the stage and around his table, leading him outside.  The man followed, two of his guards coming too.  They were trying hard not to pay attention to him.  He smiled, leaning against his SUV's back door.  "Did you need something?" he asked, his voice quiet and seductive.

"You're a pretty bitch."

"Hmm.  Jorge called me better pet names," he said with a smirk.  The man gave him a horrified look.  He let his hormones spike, getting them.  "Into the back if you want to party, boys."  They got into the back and he flicked the switch on the passenger's door, gassing them.  He checked the temporary interior camera.  They were out.  He flipped open his phone, calling Frank.  "It's Xander," he said happily.  "Well, someone broke into my SUV for a nap," he offered happily when he got a grumpy 'what now'.  "I think you would want them since they're Mala Noche, Frank.  The Grotto."  He heard the shocked silence and then Frank started to babble.  "I'm here.  You're not."  He hung up and grabbed his bag, going inside to change once he had his alarm system on and armed.  He came out in his leathers, his hair rebraided, and a tight t-shirt on, wearing his boots.  His thin dance pants went into the bag and he stuck it in the trunk once he had the alarm off again.  Frank squealed in and parked, stomping over.  "You wanted him?  There's a camera and screen up front."  Frank went to look at the screen then smirked at him.  "What?  I'm all for getting the assholes out of my way.  They bother me and he thinks I'm only a pretty bitch."  He waved a hand. "Want them?"

"We so very muchly want them.  I'm hoping Horatio can make it stick."

"Horatio can make it stick," Xander said with a wink.  He opened the back door and grabbed something from under the seat, sticking each of them with the small needles.  He put them back into the case and tossed it into the trash.  "Trackers."   Horatio's hummer pulled up and he got out with Eric.  "Him, boss?"

"Him, Xander."  He stared at him.  "What did you do?"

"I showed off," he said happily.  "I was a good boy and no one touched but ...."  The bouncer came out.  "Are they okay?"

"The orgy's fun," he said blandly.  "You wanted the others, Officers?"  He looked at Xander.  "Did the manager know you were going to trap them?"

"Yup.  He wasn't sure how since he thought Riaz was straight."  The bouncer snickered, walking off again.  He waved at Horatio.  "Want to drive my SUV, Horatio?"

"I'll have an officer ride with you, Xander."  He called in for backup, then hung up and looked at him.  "That was incredibly dangerous.  Where are your boys?"

"Having a night off apparently.  They came home for dinner and collapsed in a nap in front of the tv.  I'm assuming the bad day got worse?"  Horatio nodded.  He gave him a hug. "I'm sorry, Horatio.  It'll be okay."  He smiled as officers came up.  "Do you want to wake them up or not?"  He heard someone move and looked in there, blowing a kiss.  "Hi, boys.  Jorge said hi too."  He ruffled his hair, hearing the growl.  So he punched him, knocking him back out.  "I feel better now."  He smiled at the stunned officers.  "I've had to take myself back before.  Of course I can defend myself.  Want a Mala Noche?" he asked like he would ask the dogs if they wanted a ball.  They all smirked and two got into the back.  He got into the front to drive the SUV while an officer got up there with him.  "See you at the station, Horatio."

"Thank you, Xander."  He closed the door, watching as it pulled off.  He looked at Frank.  "Spanking?"

"Someone's got to."  He called Vice.  "If a GHS member danced to entice a thug who shot a cop and it inadvertently caused an orgy, what do we do?"  He listened to the spluttering and growling.  "The Grotto.  Harris, of course," he agreed dryly.  "No, he heard about the cop that got shot.  The guy who was behind it was here.  He enticed him to trap him.  Sure."  He hung up.  "They want to castrate him."

"It won't matter to his hormones but he says it hurts," Horatio told him.  He went back to his hummer to head back to the station.  Vice could sort this out.

***

Don stomped into the station, glaring at the officer who was standing guard on Xander.  "What the hell happened?"

"Vice is very upset with him," the officer said, handing Xander to him.  "They're not going to charge him but he is not to do whatever he did in public ever again if it will cause another orgy.  Though they were appreciative that he got them seven people with active warrants and another three who needed to be arrested for things that they could prove but they couldn't find."  He smiled at Xander.  "Thank you for getting the guy who killed one of us, Mr. Harris."

Xander gave him a hug.  "You guys don't deserve that."  That got a nod and the officer walked off.  He looked at his protector, finding him scowling.  "I danced.  Riaz was apprehended."

Don stared at him, mouth slightly open.  "YOU DID WHAT!" he shouted.

Xander flinched. "It helped!"

"I don't care!  Home, now!" he ordered, pointing at the elevator.

"Not yet he's not," Stetler said, joining them.  He looked at Xander.  "That was not on the approved list of how to help the department, Mr. Harris."

Xander looked at him.  "He had a cop blown up, Stetler.  I don't want him on my planet.  My planet wants to expel him like a kidney stone."  He got a horrified look.  "So yes, I helped Horatio by baiting him and snaring him.  I also tagged him with a GPS tracker like you use on alligators before anyone got there to stop me."  That got an even more horrified look.  He stepped closer.  "If the others had an orgy I hope they all came out happier and more content. It's not like I was going to do it ever again unless it was critical.  In this case, it is.  He's trying to destroy this department and Eric's family."  He stared into his eyes. "I could have been much worse. You forget, I had to handle things before my hormones got out of hand," he said quietly.  "Am I clear?"  He nodded, stepping back.  "Good."  He smiled.  "Most of the time the hormones mean I get to be a happy boy."  He took Don's arm, walking him off.  "I even brought the SUV and used one of the spy shop cameras so I could make sure they were out.  It wasn't dangerous to me.  They couldn't have gotten near me. That's why I chose that one out of all their clubs, Don.  Plus I gassed them then called Frank."  He beamed.  "See, I wasn't doing it in a bad way."

Don glared at him.  "I'm so spanking you when we get home."  Xander pouted. "What happens if some of the others who saw you dance want you?"

Xander snorted.  "My former poker buddies?"  He snickered.  "They know better, Don.  Oh, Wyatt said hi.  He was there and nearly choked himself to death when I came out and started to move.  I wasn't even doing the more erotic stuff.   I was doing some of the fight training parts.  Without a sword but I did have daggers on me."  He beamed.  "I was as careful as I could be."

"You're still getting it when we get home," he ordered.  He drug him to his car.  "No, Horatio can have the SUV tonight," he ordered.  He looked at the guard.  "The stretch range rover is his, it's staying tonight.  Tell Caine?"  That got a single nod.  "Thanks."  He walked Xander off to his car, taking him home.  Where he did indeed spank him and then tell the others in the family group what had happened.  Eric wasn't unhappy but Methos was moaning in Egyptian again.

***

One of the patrol officers walked up to Ray Kowalski the next morning.  "Detective?"  He smiled at him.  "Some of us got the tape from the Grotto last night.  We were wondering if he gave lessons?"

"Only to GHS members," he said dryly.  "I don't know anyone else who can.  If you wanna try, he's got the series on DVD to teach some of the other members.  I can get the first one."

"Can *you* do them?"

Ray arched an eyebrow, but smirked.  "Nope.  I'm not graceful."

"Pity.  Can any of the others in the department?"

Ray shrugged.  "Not a clue.  I wouldn't suggest asking them.  We're a bit of a paranoid bunch."

"With moves like that I can see why Mr. Harris is taken," he said quietly.  "Will we need to up the patrol by his house?"

"He's got a neighborhood patrol who likes to help him.  They're very attentive when he calls.  Plus two dogs who're trained to guard him."  The officer smiled and relaxed at that.  "It gone viral?"

"No, sir.  Computer services locked it down after a few minutes."  He licked his lips.  "Where did he learn that?"

"On a trip he took with Wolfe guarding him."

"Thank you, Detective."  He walked off to tell his boss that.  Including the advice not to ask the others.

Ray got up to find Horatio, finding him getting some coffee.  "I advised the officer who asked if I could dance that way not to ask the others, that we're paranoid and I'm not graceful enough to do that."

Horatio smiled at him.  "I've already been called at dawn by the Chief about that video.  He had computer services stop it."  He took a sip of his coffee.

"He was very polite, Horatio.  New guy outta the one by Xander's house.  He did ask if we needed to up the patrol around his neighborhood.  I told 'im he had a very attentive neighborhood watch."  Danny stomped in.  "Long night?"

"Spanking him," he agreed dryly.   He looked at Horatio.  "We keep 'em?"

"We did," Horatio agreed.  "All but one bodyguard."  He took another drink.  "He was killed by his people a few hours later.  That's why I was awake at dawn when the Chief called."  He walked off with his coffee.

"He said it was mostly his old poker buddies so we shouldn't have to worry too much," Danny called after him.

Ray looked at him.  "Computer services stopped the video."

"Hey, they *can* do computer stuff."  He grabbed his water and walked off shaking his head.  He went down to check the SUV, looking at a few guys getting off duty.  "Want to drive Xander's tank back to him?" he offered.  "Give you thirty."

"Sure," he agreed, taking the spare keys and the money.  "Address?"  Danny wrote it out.  He got in and wiggled in the seat.  "This is more comfortable than I thought it'd be."

"It's very comfy," Danny agreed.  "It's also a mini limo in the back."  He walked off smiling.  Don had grounded Xander to the house for the next week.  Even the Gods coming down in person weren't going to get him out of the house this week.

***

Xander came out to see who was driving his SUV.  "Hi."  The officer handed over the keys.  "Thank you.  Don made me leave it last night."

"It's a good car, sir.  Where did you get it?"

"The place by where they hold the volleyball tournaments."

That got a smirk and a nod.  "Figures.  It's got some nice options."

"It does," he agreed happily, handing him a fifty.  "Here, so you can get home, Officer."

"Thanks, sir.  You have a good day."

"I'm grounded."

"I heard why, sir.  We'll make sure no one tries to retaliate today."

He grinned.  "If they do, I'm going to DC to see Greggy since he just moved up there."  That got a laugh and the officer walked back to the gate, letting his friend take him home.  Xander went back inside.  "That's not a bad idea," he mused.  "Greggy did forget a t- shirt.  He'll need it.  And it's a good thing to give wedding gifts...."  He called Don.  "What do you think would be a good wedding gift for Greggy and Tony?"  He rolled his eyes.  "I know I'm grounded and I'm not allowed to shop online, Don.  I was thinking the SUV.  Gibbs could probably use it too."  He listened to him.  "Don, we have cash.  I can get a new one in a color you like more than the one I've got.  Or I can get them their own and bring it up?  Well, it would mean you wouldn't have to worry if someone wanted me."  He grinned.  "Exactly.  I know it'll take a while but not that long."  He beamed and wiggled.  "You think?"  He nodded.  "I'll do that then.  Thanks, Don."  He blew a kiss and went to find the site online to see what he could do to order Greg and Tony a wedding present.

***

Don came home that night to find two young men in tiny gold and silver shiny shorts and high top sneakers without socks dusting.  "Um....  Tabby?" he asked.

"In the old country to visit family before the wedding," one said with a smile. "We're her houseboys."

"I can see that.  You guys look a lot like South Beach houseboys."  He blinked a few times.  "Xander?"

"That one's in the office looking at options for someone named Greggy's car."

"Thanks."  He went that way.  "We don't care what you guys wear around here.  Xander's prone to forgetting clothes at all.  If he does that you yell at him."  He walked into the office, taking a kiss.  "Were you good?"

"I ordered groceries since we were out," he said proudly.  "And I ordered ice cream too."

Don smiled.  "Close enough to good then.  What else did you do?"

Xander let him see what he wanted to give them.  "What do you think?"

"I think it's a very expensive toy," Don said.  "The same as I think yours is."

Xander looked at him.  "But it's a good and protective toy.  Like body armor."

"It is," Don agreed, smiling and nodded.  "Which is why I can see you giving them one."  He kissed him again.  "I don't think they need the play area in the back.  Give them seats that either fold down or join together to form a bed."  Xander nodded, making that note in the comment section, undoing the limo seats button.  "Are we going to make Steve swear?"

"I called him already.  He's called them to talk to them about how much it'll cost.  He thinks it's a good idea and Tony could use it at work too."

"He probably could," Don agreed.  "I know I've borrowed yours once for a trial to guard a witness."  He stroked over his hair.  "How long is Tabby gone for?"

"Two weeks.  They're her houseboys."

"I saw that."  He took another kiss.  "Dinner?"

"In the fridge, heat it up.  Blue, green, red, or yellow?  Or white or black or silver?"

Don pointed at one of the paint swatches.  "Matte gray.  Less noticeable if they have to use it for work stuff."  He went to find dinner, finding the bags in there.  "You ordered fast food too?" he called.

"No, I bribed someone to bring some since I didn't want to cook," he called.  "Wyatt said no one's going to steal me for that.  He did say that they think you and Danny are The Men for handling me when I clearly need a leash."

"Uh-huh."  He pulled out a bag to check the sandwich, putting it back for Danny.  He took his, heading into the living room to watch the news.  He'd let Xander play with the expensive toy for now.  It wasn't like he was buying them a country or something.  Just a really expensive toy.

***

Xander smiled at the guards a few weeks later, giving one a hug.  "Hi.  I saw you in Miami.  Is Gibbs or Tony in?"

"They both are, sir," he said, letting him sign in and then walk through the metal detector.  He had to take his hair clips and pins but the second time he went through okay.  He did his hair again on the way to the elevator, making the guard shake his head.  He remembered when he had come up for the bad reason.

Xander came off on the right floor, smiling at Tony's horrified look.  "I brought you a present."  He gave him a hug.  "This way you can protect Greggy and yourself, and the growly one," he said, grinning and waving at Gibbs.  "A going away/wedding present."  He smiled at him.  "I drove it up so it's in the garage in visitor's parking.  Come see or are you *really* busy for the next five minutes?"

"We can go see," Tony said with a smile.  "Boss?  Coming?"  He nodded, calling down to the lab and autopsy to find Greg so he could join them.  They rode down with him, finding the director down there.  "Ma'am.  This is Xander Harris.  Greg used to live with him so he gave him a going away present."

"I know who he is," she said grimly.

Xander stared at her until she backed off.  "Pissing me off makes me want to enslave Congress," he said happily with a bright, cheerful smile.  She took another step back.  "Thanks.  This is Tony and Greggy's present.  Only they can say who can use it."  He handed over the keys to Tony, who was staring in shock.  "It's like mine but has a few different features.  Including a real backseat instead of the limo option."  Greg came off the elevator.  "Hi.  I put your t-shirt in the glove box since you left it under my pillow."

Greg smiled, giving him a hug.  He saw the stretch Range Rover and moaned.  "You repainted yours?"

"No, this is *yours* and Tony's."  He kissed him on the cheek and walked them around to let them in the driver's side.  "See?  It's still got the undercarriage and backing up cameras.  Still bullet proof.  I did change out the back seat and there is a backseat DVD system.  The seats fold down into a platform if you need them to for camping or carrying a lot of stuff.  It's a bit lighter than mine.  It's got a different metal for the bulletproof panels, and they are all around.  There's dual tanks if you need them.  I did fill it up and there is a gas card in the glove box.  The second one is the green switch if you need it, Tony."  He nodded at that.  "They're also behind an extra layer of bullet and bomb proof shielding just in case and they're offset so they're not in the usual spot if someone should try and make it past them."  He smiled at Gibbs when he opened the other door.  "I thought about getting you guys some of the mobile crime lab stuff."  Greg moaned at that.  "But instead I gave you an uplink in the back."  He walked them to the trunk, showing them how to pull out the monitor and the keyboard.

"See, DVD writer, uses both plus and minus styles so it shouldn't be a problem.  Uplinks via satellite if you want to pay for that, Tony."  He nodded.  "Emergency cargo carriers as well."  He opened one.  "With body armor because if you or Greggy *ever* get shot seriously I'm going to throw a fit and destroy someone.  Since I helped Horatio destroy the Miami Mala Noche branch he doesn't think I'm kidding when I say that anymore."  He closed that one and opened the next one.  "Guns.  Ammo.  For emergencies."   He closed that one and opened up another.  "A tent just in case."  He closed it and moved to the last two.  "A GHS style emergency pack," he told him.  "Because I packed it and I know what we need when we're kidnaped, stolen, sold, or otherwise inconvenienced by idiots who want a piece of our ass."

Tony smiled.  "She knew," he assured him.

"I know.  This is fair warning if she tries to hurt you too."  He beamed at Gibbs.  He opened the last one.  "It's empty so you can pack whatever you need in it.  It seats nine.  All the seats have good harness style seatbelts.  The ones on the side will still work as single shoulder harnesses if the seats are down so they can still sit in the back if you have to fold down the seats for something."  He backed out and closed the trunk, then the driver's door, turning on the alarm and handing the keys back to Tony.  "All paid, all gassed up, and the insurance is paid for the next three years.  It's on mine so don't worry about it."  He gave them both a hug then Gibbs too.  "It's a good going away/wedding present so I don't have to worry about them.  Right?" he asked Gibbs.

"It is," he agreed.  "It's very protective even if it is the size of a troop carrier and you can camp in it."

Xander beamed.  "Don's had to use mine to protect witnesses and things.  And hey, I didn't include the limo seat mine has in the back or the toys I keep in mine.  Like the explosives."

"Thank you for that," Gibbs said, patting him on the back.  It was easier to humor his oddness and low self-esteem sometimes.  "Do your boys know you're up here?"

"Yup.  I check in every few hours so they know I'm okay."  He hugged Greg again.  "If you two ever retire, come find us.  I mean it."  They both nodded.  "Then I'm going to head to my hotel and then the airport.  I'm flying out again tonight.  I drove it up, Tony."  He handed over the visitor's pass and skipped off happy with himself and his gift giving skills.

Gibbs waited until he was gone to look at his agents.  "He definitely likes big toys."

Greg coughed.  "Yes, he does.  But it's a useful toy.  I can see us having to take it on out-of- town cases."

Gibbs nodded, taking the keys to get in and try the driver's seat.  It was nicely padded.  It had four cup holders up front.  "Why four cup holders?" he called.

"So you can have a primary and a spare," Greg called.  "Xander goes through a ten pack of twenty ounce bottles when he's out of the house all day."  He came up to look.  "I helped him pick out the options on his when he was having an 'I want to be hipper' moment.  It's a great toy.  It's got good power steering too."

"Hopefully.  It's probably as heavy as a light tank."

"It's got a redundant power steering system," Greg assured him, getting a smirk.  "To even get in to cut the lines you've got to remove panels.  It's a vehicle Mac loves.  They've used Xander's a number of times for security details."  He went to try the backseat, wiggling some.  "They're comfy back here too."  He put on the harness.  Four straps came over to meet in the center of his chest.  "Not bad.  We should take it for a test drive if we've got time."

"We have a few," Gibbs decided.  "DiNozzo, call Kate and McGee, tell them we'll be right back."  Tony did that, climbing into the passenger's seat and buckling in.  He looked at the marked buttons, turning on both cameras once he had the engine started.  The door was closed and it locked automatically.  "Good against carjackers."

"Sometimes it does happen to us too," Greg pointed out.  They backed out and Gibbs nodded at the nice turning radius.  They headed out to go to the coffee shop, driving through.  The woman at the window gave them an awed look.  Greg smiled.  "My buddy gave it to us."

"It's a hip car, Greg."

They got their orders and headed back to the station.  Gibbs parked it a few times to get used to it.  "Not quite as gentle as the coupe but it definitely makes a statement," Greg said happily.  He got out, going back to helping Abby in the lab.

Tony looked at his boss.  "It's a nice wedding gift."

"Don't expect anything this expensive from me."

"I'm not.  I'm expecting you to make sure I make it to the ceremony if we make it that far, boss."  He took the keys back and they made sure the cameras were off before getting out.  The doors locked with the alarm going on.  He walked off smiling, sipping his coffee.  "It's a great ride."

"It is," he agreed.  "If we ever have to camp Kate and you two can have that while McGee and I take the tent."

"Sure, boss."  He smiled as they came out of the elevator on their floor.  The director was waiting on them.  "It handles very well."

"I'll want a copy of the keys," she demanded.

He looked at her and snorted.  "It's my toy, Director.  Not the agency's.  He gave it to Greg and me.  I looked at the paperwork.  It's in *my* name and *Greg's* name.  If another team needs it they can ask nicely."  He sat down, smiling at McGee.  "Look in Greg's parking spot."

He tapped into the security system then gaped at him.  "Is that a stretch range rover?"

Tony smirked and nodded.  "Xander gave Greg and me a going away/wedding present."

"Wow," he said.  "How does it handle?"

"Almost as nice as the coupe," Gibbs said.  "Better than some of the agency sedans."  He looked at the director.  "He's right, it's his car, not the agency's.  You wouldn't borrow his mustang, you can't borrow this one."  She stomped off.  He shook his head.  "Take it home tonight, DiNozzo."

"We have a secure, gated garage at the building, Gibbs.  It'll be very safe."  He gave Kate a smile when she came up.  "Go look at Xander's idea of a wedding present."  She went to look on McGee's computer when he waved her over, listening to her squeak.  "He didn't put the limo seats in the back like his has.  It's got real seats with racing harness straps.  Seats nine.  Oh, Probie, has a computer in the back."

"Good to know," he agreed happily.  "Can we take it out tonight, Tony?"

"If you put more gas in it," he said dryly.

"Then I'll see after I pay bills this weekend," he decided, getting back to work.

"Think he needs more female friends?" Kate asked.

"Nope.  Women were bad to him in his former life, Kate.  That's why he's got two boys."

She sighed, sitting down at her desk.  "Pity."  Tony smirked at her.  "Did you take it for a ride?"

"Gibbs did.  Greg and I rode along for coffee."

"Wow.  Anything we should know?"

"Bulletproof," he told her.  "Can camp in it."

"I'll remember that for out of town cases," she agreed.   Gibbs nodded.  "We are?"

"Possibly.  Depending on the price of gas.  It was more comfortable and we can fit bags in the back if we need to."  He looked up.  "Work, people?"

"Boss, I was thinking.  We don't have anything on her except her intake forms," Tony told him.  "What if it's an alias or she's in witness protection or something?  There's no bank records, Probie can't find an education history outside of a small form saying she was home schooled in her intake file.  No DMV records.  There's nothing that says she was here eighteen months ago."

"Cross-check it with the FBI?" McGee suggested.

"Witness protection won't give out those records," Tony told him.  "Unless she's got her prints in a database and most of the time they remove them too."

"You want to gloat about your new toy," Kate said dryly.

"Well, no.  Not today," he said with a grin.  "I want to drive it first.  He'll probably try to steal it too."

"She'll get over it, DiNozzo."

"Boss, there's a tow truck," McGee said.

Tony grabbed the keys and went down there, smiling at the guards.  "Hi, guys.  That's my new car.  Xander delivered it to us."  He pulled out the forms for them.  "See?"

"The director wanted it removed, sir.  She said it's going to the agency parking lot?"

"No, it's mine," Tony told him.  "She can buy her own if she wants one."  He called Gibbs.  "She was having them remove it to the sedan parking lot, boss.  Thank you."  He hung up and locked the papers back in there.  "Touch my SUV and I will kill," Tony told the guard.  "Then I'll let Gibbs yell."  That got a nod.  "She can buy her own.  It's a going away present from Miami."

The guard waved the tow truck driver off, getting a nod.  "Make sure it goes home tonight, Agent DiNozzo."

"It'll go home at lunch," he promised.  "Before I kick her ass," he said quietly, getting a laugh. "Tell your boss please?"  He nodded, radioing that in while Tony went back to work.  He came off the elevator and found the director huffing in anger.  "Ma'am, what you tried to do was theft," he said plainly.  "It's my car.  Not your car.  Not the agency's car.  My car.  Keep it up, and I've got an open offer to move to Las Vegas or Miami with Greg."

"You are a member of this agency and that vehicle could mean the difference between an operation working or not."

He shrugged.  "Then buy one, Director.  I'm sure Greg knows where Xander got us that one.  He helped him pick out the original one's options."

"The other one is in possession of what agency?"

"Xander.  He's nice enough to let the crime lab use it if necessary but it's Xander's.  He uses it when he goes to play poker with the criminal underground now and then.  They don't like it when they owe him money."  She turned purple.  "I really don't care, ma'am.  It's my car and I'm not donating it.  It's a very thoughtful gift.  It's meant to protect myself, my team, and my lover.  If the others want or need it, they can *ask*," he said firmly, staring her down.  "As of this moment, it's going to take some begging since you tried to steal it."   The veins in her neck were throbbing.  "Now, is there anything else, Madam Director?  Because you're acting like one of Gibbs' ex-wives - greedy, spoiled, and throwing a fit."  She huffed.  "I will make a report to the man I know who is presently sleeping with the president's right-hand advisor," he hissed quietly.  "He knows all about the group and Xander.  I'm sure he'll only giggle and stroke his very blonde hair."  She gasped and grabbed her chest.  "Yes, there's gay men advising the president.  He even knows it, he simply ignores it since he's so much like him and a former college buddy."  She sat down, letting him stare down at her.  "I'm not taking begging today."

"Um, I think she's having a heart attack," McGee said, calling Ducky.  "The director's dying."  He hung up and came over to help with Gibbs.  "Tony?"

"Get her away from my desk."  He sat down.  "I have work to do."  He called the department in the FBI over witness protection.  "Hey, it's DiNozzo in NCIS.  We've got a person here who we think might've been one of your protectees.  Nothing before eighteen months ago.  That's what we were wondering.  Ducky.  Thank you."  He hung up, watching the paramedics come up to take her off.  He waved.  "Have a better day."

Gibbs glared at him.  "That was not good, DiNozzo.  At all."

Tony looked at him.  "Now and then I get GHS PMS and that's what it comes out as, boss.  She deserved it.  Oh, by the way, she tried to sell Greg.  That's who I had arrested last night.  I got an email from the officer who arrested him after I had to shoot him.  He had paid sixty grand for him."

"He okay with that?"

"I haven't told him yet."

"Are you going to?"

"Later.  When we go over our security with the guys at the apartment building you found us."  Greg came up.  "Hi."

"Hi."  He grinned at him.  "She gonna live?"  Gibbs nodded. "Pity."  He looked at Tony.  "I know.  He emailed me to be careful because she had been paid for me.  Can we ask Xander to go destroy them?"

"No, they might want to keep him.  Even if he is in a vindictive mood," Tony offered.  "I'm sure they've got the point now.  If not, well, I wear a GPS tracer, you wear a GPS tracer.   We'll be found fairly quickly if we're even a few minutes late."

"Yes, you will be," Gibbs said.  "You think this was part of that?"  Greg nodded, heading back to his desk.  "The FBI?"

"Someone's coming over from Witness Protection to see if he can make an ID.  Should we tell the DC gang unit that Miami's Mala Noche threat was mostly eliminated to see if they can track them?"

"Do so," Gibbs ordered, going back to his desk.  He had to call and report this to the Secretary of the Navy.  "It's Jethro Gibbs.  Our director just got taken to the hospital for a possible heart attack," he told the secretary.  "Thank you."  He hung up.  "Pull the footage, McGee."

"I'm trying, boss, but a lot of others are logged in to watch it replay.  Guys, I need to save it down!" he bellowed.  "Get off the replay so I can do that for the Sec Nav!  He's coming in!"  He got better access and saved it down, starting from the visit earlier.

***

Horatio answered his office phone.  "Horatio Caine."  He listened, holding his head, dropping his pen before he wrote on his forehead.  "Sir."  He smiled.  "I did know about the present, sir.   Xander did say that she was trying to claim his present to Tony and Gregory."  He nodded.  "Yes, he can enslave Congress, sir.  He's a high level GHS.  I'd ask Gibbs.  He's had to help save him in the past, sir."  He looked over as Xander peeked in.  He pointed at his spare chair, making Xander come in and sit down.  "Is she all right, sir?"  He smirked.  "That is a good reason.  I will, sir.  Thank you for letting us know.  I'll make sure his future trips to DC are announced better and...."  He listened then grimaced.  "If you say so, sir.  Thank you for being so understanding.  I do hope Gibbs' team is all right, sir.  You have a good night as well."  He hung up and glared at Xander.  "She tried to claim it.  She had a heart attack when Tony thwarted her.  You may not threaten to enslave Congress or any other governmental body ever again, Xander.  Am I clear?"

He pouted but nodded.   "Even if she deserved it?  She gave someone my home address, Horatio.  She gave them your home address too."

"I know.  They found that.  That's why she was arrested in the hospital."  He stared at him.  "It was a good gift.  It was a good presentation.  Threatening her was wrong.  Even if she did deserve it," he said at his opening mouth.  "You know better."

"I'm sorry."  He looked at his hands then at him.  "Are you still mad about the Riaz stuff?"

"I'm concerned," he corrected.  "I was not mad about it.  I was mad that you would risk your safety that way.  There's more moving into town.  Ray Junior pointed out a few to our Gang Unit earlier today."  Xander nodded.  "I'm concerned that one of them will want to retaliate or take you."

"They won't do either," Xander told him.  "They're very macho men, Horatio."  He smiled slightly.  "They'll kill Riaz and the other guy for being brought down by a gay man and for liking men.  They've killed other gang members who were gay when they found out."

"How do you know this?"

"I asked Jorge."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "You two are still friends?"

"Yup, I write him all the time.  He giggled like he had been given happy drugs when he heard what went on.  One of the others told him.  He sent me a cassette of him giggling through most of the letter and telling me what was going to happen to him."  He handed it over.  "It came before I left."

"Thank you."  He put it aside, giving him a look.  "We do worry about your safety.  Especially when you go into crisis mode and you start doing unpredictable things.  It's easier to guard you when you're a simple GHS boy, Xander."

"I know.  I'm sorry, Horatio.  Oh, tell Ryan his horses are missing him."

"He went tonight since he hadn't been able to get out for a few days."  He smiled at him, standing up to give him a hug.  "No Danny and Don?"

"No, they're waiting at home."  He grinned.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  Remember, no threatening congress again."

"I wouldn't want the old, white guy patrol anyway," he teased.  "They're boring and stiff and not used to anyone having pleasure outside of cash.  Oh, Vesvold giggled too.  He thought it was cute that an organization that was started in the passionate response to a civil war was going to be brought down by the passions of a man's loins.  That's a quote."  He gave him a good hug and skipped off.  "I'll see you later."

"Have a good night."  He watched him go, sitting down to listen to the tape.  It didn't have much information on it but a hint of something coming into town to take over for the idiots that had been in charge.  They really should have learned better when Xander had bankrupted a few at poker.  Speed came to the door.  "He's back.  The Secretary of the Navy said he has very good taste in presents.  Tony's director is under arrest for trying to sell Greg."

Speed shook his head.  "Joy.  Who's next?"

"I don't know.  He didn't tell me."  He smiled.  "I'm nearly done.  Let me log this in."  He grabbed an evidence bag and logged it in, locking it in his desk drawer. Then he locked up the rest of his desk and joined him.  "Dinner out?"

"I have dinner coming to us.  I wanted to try out Xander's gift.  See if it fits."  He walked his boy out to the hummer, following him home on the bike.  It was a sexy idea and he did think the chenille would drive Horatio nuts once he had it on.

***

Danny looked at their housekeeper the next morning.  It was his day off and he was a happy guy.  "Are you going to keep bringing them to help you, Tabby?"

"If you want.  Were they good boys?"

"They were very good and they reported on Xander's actions very well."  She smiled at that.  "They did a good job on the house too.  Even the ferret cage while Xander was gone to DC."

"Political business?"

"Giving Greg a present," he said with a grin.  He went back to his paper.  "Up to you.  We don't mind your sons."

"I'll let them know.  It'll be good for them to work full time."  She patted him on the head, going to check the house to make sure they had cleaned to her standards.  "They said wearing the shorts were fun.  One's got a date this weekend."

"Tell him I wish him luck," Xander called from the office.  "Hopefully she'll make him happy."  He went back to his email to Vesvold, making his buddy smile later on.  They were having a bad week on the Demonic High Council and his buddy needed some levity. He knew the mental image of him making the other counselors gibbering, begging things that turned into puddles of spoiling goo would cheer him up.  The next one was an e-card from Speed and Horatio from their shared room in the hospital for their back problems.  He smiled and wrote back to them that he had been happy to give them something that not only made them so sore but happy enough to almost need traction.  He decided to get some more soft yarn so he could make some other pieces for Don and Danny.  They needed to be teased too.  He bounced out, going to get his keys from Danny.  "Want blue or some other color for your new treat?"

Danny took a kiss.  "Whatever you feel like using, Xan."  Xander beamed and left, taking the corvette out to the yarn store.  He sighed and called in.  "Hey, Frank, it's Danny.  I got your message earlier but I'm just now awake enough to call.  What's up?"  He listened.  "Uh-huh.  Why are Horatio and Speed in the hospital?"  He heard the explanation of thrown backs.  "Something break in?"  He blinked then shivered.  His answer of 'Xander presents' gave him a bad feeling.  "I'll stop by later.  Have them call me if they need me, Frank."  He hung up and called the hospital Frank had said they were in.  "Can I be connected to either Caine or Speedle please?"  He smiled when Horatio's panting voice answered.  "Hey, boss.  Should I stop Xander from making more presents for a while?"   Horatio's 'don't you dare' made him laugh.  "So you two are okay?  Frank told me.  If they need me they'll call, boss."  He smiled.  "Sure.  I'll even tell Mac if you want.  What present was it?"  He blinked at that.  "Don won't wear his.  I'll have to see if he likes his too.  Have a good rest, boss.  Kiss the hubby too if you can get out of bed."  He hung up, shaking his head.  He called Xander.  "Make mine green and Don's the color of his eyes or his bike, Xander.  He'll appreciate that.  Did you give any to Greg and Tony?"  He hung up, going back to his reading of the news.  He turned to the national news section, smiling at the announcement of a new director for NCIS.  It was a good thing in his book.  Maybe some year he'd transfer there instead.

Table of Contents

Ye Olde Sunnydale Issues. 2

A Warm and Happy Home. 35

A Bit of Traveling... 58

Is Good For A Boy. 83

That's How Life Goes. 103

Settling In. 123

Trainees. 138

The Issues of Being Ray. 156

Poker Buddies. 173

Flies Meet Ointment. 190

A Slut Hidden. 234

Bored!! 322

Road Trip! 335

Mental Places That Make You Go Odd. 354

Hello Hell-A.. 372

The Information Highway. 395

A Long, Good Day. 421

Sacred. 443

Another Miami GHS Day. 463

A Treat. 477

Boys, Thugs, and Presents. 490