Contents

A Hunters's GHS Dilemma

A Colonel's GHS Dilemma

The GHS Dilemma of a Harem.

The European GHS Dilemma.

A Hunters's GHS Dilemma

Notes:  the Imaginings List gave me this very, very bad idea.   See, I tried, guys!  Off Dark GHS before he took a protector in Flack.  Even though they wanted the NYPD Lab crew to take him in.

Xander had time to squeak before he was little.  That's about all he'd remember later on.  Of course, the jealous asshole who had cast the curse was now in deep shit with the demon bodyguard heading for him.  He pouted at the brothel's pimp Devi.  "This is *so* not fair!"

"I know, kid."  He stared down at him then at the very sorry prostitute.  "You're in so deep."

"He can go home now," he sneered.

Xander shook his head.  "My parents would go to jail now for child abuse.  There's actually social workers in Sunnydale again now that the Mayor's dead."

The pro moaned.  "Shit."

"Yes, you're in a deep pile of it," Devi agreed.  "Xander, sit down with the tape recorder in my office and record everything you remember about your past life in case you lose it.  Bulbous Nose, help him."  He walked the child down there, which made all the clients and pros stare in horror at the child.  He was linked into the security system and he saw it.  He glared at the pro, backing him into a corner so he could get into his face and beat the shit out of him himself.  He had just taken out his best money maker ever.  The guy needed to be beaten to death!

***

Sam and Dean Winchester looked up as their father walked into the motel room they were sharing.  It was the night he had rejoined them after popping out of the shadows.  Dean was antsy about things at the moment.  Sam was his usual sullen self about their father.  All that was about to change however.  Someone pounded on the door frantically so John opened it, one hand on his gun in his back waistline.  "Yes, Miss?  Did you need help?"

"Take him.  Protect him.  They want him and all the demons are fighting over him!"  She handed him a wiggling pile of blanket then ran off into the night.

"Let me down!" a tiny voice shouted.  "Fucking bitch!"

"Language!" John snapped automatically.  He put the child down, taking the blanket off him.  He was white, young, had dark hair, brown eyes, was wearing what looked like shrunken adult silk pajamas in a pattern that probably no child should have.

Sam looked at him.  "Hey," he said calmly.  "I'm Sam. This is my big brother Dean and our father, John.  What's your name?  Dad, close the door."  The boy stepped over the salt wards and looked at him.  "What's your name?" he asked, staying calm.  "She thought we could help you and we need to see how we can do that."

"Can you keep all the ancient and powerful demons from stealing my butt so they can raise me and keep me as a pampered purr kitten?" he asked dryly.

"We hunt demons, kid," Dean told him.  "Why are they after you?"

Xander shrugged a bit.  "The guy at the brothel where things went strange said I have a fera...phara...  Funky, smelly things that draw them.  That's why they were raided by the DPP and nearly all killed when an Ancient One wanted me as a pet."  He looked at John then at Sam again.  "I'm Xander."

"Hi, Xander."  He held out a hand.  The kid shook it.  "Did your mother or father work there?"

"No.  I'm not so sure I didn't work there.  Everyone seemed to know me and strange, weird things were going on the last two days.  Anytime I think back farther than that I get a blinding headache."  He grimaced.  "I don't know why.  Devi had tapes with my name on them but they were audio tapes and he said he was protecting me from things that wanted me in that bad way."

"Was Devi working in the brothel?" Dean asked.

"He worked in the office.  He did the books and the checks and stuff."

"So he probably ran the brothel," Dean decided.  "Where is the brothel he runs, Xander?"

"Um....  Big city, really tall buildings, on an island?"  He shrugged.  "I don't remember."  He rubbed his forehead.  "Then that one tried to get me away from the Ancient One before it took custody of me.  I'm nauseous and I have no idea what's going on or why you guys."

A glow started and John put the kid behind him, pulling his gun this time.  "How dare you try to touch a child," he sneered at the demon.

The demon smirked.  "I'm not the one after him, John Winchester.   I'm the DPP officer assigned to watch over him after he was cursed."

"Figured it had to be a curse," Sam agreed quietly.  "Deaged?"  The officer nodded.  "Why him?"

"Look up GHS, Samuel.  Right now, you three are his only salvation from a life of sexual slavery and worse."  They stared.  "Because of his pheromones, he attracts demons *and* humans."

"Maybe that's why you do it, Sammy," Dean said dryly.

"Dean," John growled.

"No, he's right.  It's why both boys draw demons, John."  He stared him down.  "As all hellmouth children like them would if that special GHS condition is activated in them.  They need to know about GHS anyway for their own protection."  He looked at Samuel again.  "Adam Pierson is the national head.  He's in Chicago.  He'll be watching for that one.  He'll have papers to protect him and his assets."

"He has assets?" Dean asked dryly.

"That is one Alexander Lavelle Harris, gentlemen.  White Knight to the Slayer Buffy and level ten GHS.  You'll understand about that soon enough.  Let's just say, he was on a road trip to find himself when his pheromones finally set themselves free.  Let's also say that his first night in the brothel earned him about seventy thousand dollars all told."  Dean and John both gaped at that.  "Including tips.  That was his share.  Devi was trying to protect him after one of the other pros cursed him.  They're incredibly sorry they got jealous that people used to go into bidding wars over him."

Xander looked around John's hip at him.  "Is that why I was there?"

"Yes."

"When do I get big again?"

"We have no idea if we can remove the curse.  We're asking.  We'll be in contact with Adam, young man.  Trust Adam and his Ray."  Xander nodded, looking grim.  "Also, this means they can get you some new clothes."

"Good, because these are kinda soft and shimmery; they make me feel funny."

"They should."  He tossed John something.  "That's part of one of his tips.  There's a place in the next town, in their underground.  You can cash them out there for expenses to get him to Adam, figure out how to handle things, and then to go on rescues.  By the way, watch out for the pout."  He disappeared.

"That's kinda a neat skill.  Can I do that?" he asked John.

"I don't know, Xander."  He sat down, putting his gun away.  "Sam...."

"Searching," he agreed, pulling his laptop over to hook into the phone lines so he could search the web.  He found the group's main site and groaned, letting his brother see.  Dean went pale.  John leaned over to look and blushed.  "That explains why we were talking about pheromones."

"Can I see?" Xander asked.

"Depends, can you read the big words?" Dean asked him.

Xander pouted and sulked at him.  "It's not my fault I can't read yet."  He pouted all the way to the dingy, lopsided couch and curled up in a corner of it.

Dean felt his stomach clench and sighed.  "We'll work on that while we travel, Xander.  Sammy can read really good after I taught him.  He went to college."

"Really?  Can I do that?"

"We'll see what happens," John told him.  Xander nodded, his pout easing some.  "Quit pouting.  There's no reason for it."

"I'm sorry she dropped me off here."

"No, if there's demons after you, we can protect you.  It's a good idea," Dean told him.

"Devi told me I had problems with people wanting me."

"We'll keep you away from that sort," Sam promised.  "Especially the demonic ones."

"Really?" he asked, looking pleased.  Sam nodded so he padded over to hug him.  He looked at the monitor.  "What's that word?" he asked, pointing at a short one.

"Um, that's a slightly bad word," Sam told him.  Xander pouted at him.  "Let me read it over and we'll explain it to everyone tomorrow after breakfast, okay?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  Did she bring you other clothes?"  John looked at the blanket then shook his head.  "Dad, what's in the bag?"

He opened it and found the address he'd need to find the person who could change it for him and the order to bring Xander with him.  He grimaced at that.  "Some very pretty stones."  Xander climbed up to look inside so he poured them onto the table.

"Oooooh."

"Very pretty stones," Dean agreed.  A crack went off next to the door and before they could draw their guns a box was standing there.  "Let me."  He went to look it over.  Written across the top was 'these are Xander's from his room; his former life'.  "Looks like his stuff from before he got cursed."  He pulled out a pocket knife and carefully slit the tape, finding all sorts of lounging pajamas inside, some normal people clothes.  Some really expensive clothes.  Six wooden boxes.  A sword that was shrunken by the thing wrapped around the blade next to the blade guard, some sort of charm, and a few older looking pieces of clothes.  At the bottom was a wallet.  It had his old ID.  He tossed that at his father then put the rest back into the box.

Sam leaned over to look at the clothes.  "Date clothes.  Lounging pajamas.  Tight jeans and t-shirts."  He looked at the kid then at Dean.  "Anything like a letter?"

"On the inside of the top flap it says to find Adam and he'd have a good, detailed report of what we needed to know to protect him."  He closed the box back up and looked at the sleepy boy.  "Hey, kiddo.  Why don't we figure out jammies for you?"

"I'm wearing some," he pointed out.

"Yeah but until we can get you some real clothes tomorrow, let's wash those out?"

Xander shrugged. "I guess that's okay."  Dean got into the box to get him one of his older t- shirts, handing it to him.  "Shower?"

"Yup," John agreed, putting him onto his feet.  "Can you do it on your own?"  Xander nodded, heading in there to do that.  He took the laptop to read over the FAQ section of it.  Some of that did sound just like Sammy.  Not Dean, even though the strange demon had said he should be concerned.  Maybe he was the sort of keeper they mentioned?  Who knows with his boys.  He sure didn't.  He found the other areas of the site and the frequent problems page was very enlightening.  "These guys get kidnaped a lot."

Dean nodded.  "If he's drawing demons like that, then I'd expect it."

Sam nodded, leaning on his knees.  "That's probably why they tried to capture him already."  He looked toward the bathroom but Dean was staring that way already.  He went in to help the kid, who they could barely hear crying.  Dean shut the door to talk to him, calm him down, and help him work things over for the night.  Sam took his laptop back.  "I'm doing a search in the other window for this Pierson guy."  He went back to it.  If he was the national head, he'd have answers they needed.  Hopefully.

***

John walked the boy into the dingy store.  He had gotten Xander something to wear for the day.  He'd get the cash back out of whatever they got today.  He tried to grab the kid's shoulder before he bounced out of reach but he wasn't going to be able to do it this time.  He was more slippery than Sammy ever had been.

"Hi, aren't you a Gornax?"  The demon looked at him and nodded slowly.  "I'm a Xander.  Hi.  The DPP guy said to come see you."

"See me or see someone here?" he asked the adult, giving him an odd look.  He handed over the note.  "Why did you need to see the boss?"

"The DPP guy said so," Xander said, starting to pout again.  "We're not mean but the lady kinda gave me to John to protect me from the bad things that want me to be a purr kitty for them."

"Someone named Devi had him sent to us," John told him.

"I heard about that raid.  They said he had a kid there."

"I was cursed," Xander said matter-of-factly.  "I used to be bigger'n Dean."

"Probably about the same size, Xander," John corrected.  Xander pouted at him and he stared back.  "Don't start.  It's bad enough you pouted the waitress into sleeping with Dean when she wouldn't let him flirt."

The demon stood up, knocking over his chair.  "Oh, shit, that's him?" he demanded.  John gave him an odd look.  "That's Harris, right?"  John nodded.  "Let me get my boss.  This way, sir.  You too, Xander.  You're safe here.  We're not able to reproduce with humans."  Xander nodded, bouncing along beside him.  "Boss, customers!" he yelled before walking into the back area.  "DPP people sent these two to you."  He picked Xander up and put him into a chair.  "This is Xander.  Devi's Xander."

"I used to be big," Xander told him, shrugging a bit then he beamed.  "Hi."

"Hi."  He reached over to sniff him then nodded.  "You definitely are Devi's Xander," he decided.  "Why did the demonic police send you to me?"  John handed over the bag.  He looked inside and winced.  "That's a good reason."  He looked John over.  "Who're you?"

"John Winchester.  The half-demon last night handed him to us to protect."

"With the one after your family, that might not be the best idea," he said calmly.  "He'll want this one more than he will your younger son."

"You know about him?"

"Of him and of your vendetta.  I've heard rumors of Xander and of Xander's five weeks at Devi's.  I don't deal in information unless it'll save my life."

"I'm not going to bother you," John assured him.  He put Xander onto the floor.  "Don't touch anything, Xander."

Xander gave him a pitiful look.  "But I learn by touching things.  How else am I supposed to find out why things are neat?"

"We'll let you learn weapons later today," he said.  Xander smiled shyly and nodded at that.  He had watched Dean go over his weapons earlier.  He looked at the demon, who smirked.  "He did?"

"He did."  He poured out the bag to look at it.  "I can only do a third but I can give you a good price.  By the way, do something to help his hormones wear out soon; before you draw every demon in scent range."

"How?"

"Pleasurable things."

"He's a child," John said firmly.

"Not all pleasures are sexual.  Take him to the park and let him wear himself out having fun."

John nodded.  "I can have Dean do that."  Xander beamed and bounced around cheering.  "Xander, please?  Bounce later?"  Xander came over to hug him and went to play with one of the pretty stones.  The guy looked at it then handed it to John.  "It's a keystone.  It opens portals."

He put that into his pocket.  "I'll make sure it's guarded better."  The demon nodded.  "Any idea where this would've come from?"

"Sarthna nest by the smell on it.  Probably a tip."  He decided which ones he wanted and went to get cash out of the safe.  He came back to find Xander sorting his pile for him.  "Did he shift any out?"

"The one ruby fell onto the floor."  He looked and picked it up, tossing it over.  That got a nod and the demon handed over the cash, then put the rest into the bag for him and handing it back.  Xander stared at him.  "You'll be fine, Xander.  He's not a mean guy, just a bit hard around the edges.  Think of him like a grandfather."  Xander beamed and nodded.  "Now, it's very important that you do things that will keep you from being bored and keep you from smelling too much.  Okay?"  Xander nodded more quickly.  "Good.  The happier you are the better off and the safer you are.  That wears out all the bad smells that attracts demons."

"I understand."

"Good boy."  He patted him on the head.  "Let John protect you when they come."  The boy nodded.  "Good.  That should get you to Chicago.  The National Head can deal with the rest.  GHS members get presents all the time so he's got ways of dumping them up there.  You can trust Pierson.  He's a good guy, even though he's a bit of a bastard now and then.  Xander was his favorite student in a long time."  John nodded, taking Xander's hand in his.  "Now, shoo.  He's making me want to mate with my spouse."

"Thank you."  He walked Xander out, taking him out to his truck.  Xander got put inside and buckled in then he walked around to drive.  He counted the money, groaning in pleasure.  He hadn't seen that much money in quite a while.  He stuffed it back into his pocket and headed back to the motel.  He found a cop waiting on them.  "Yes, Officer?" he asked as he got out.

"Sir, the manager reported that someone stopped by to give you a child?"

"One of my cousins is running away from home.  This is her child.  She wanted him safe so she snuck him off too.  I'm taking him to a better location for safety tomorrow."

The officer nodded at that.  "Your sons said a niece."

John looked inside the motel room.  "She didn't look like your niece," he called.  "She's your cousin."

"Whatever," Dean called.  His 'oof' a minute later made John smirk.  "Hi, Xander.  Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Yup and the Gornax said I have to be happy so I don't smell bad and that means I have to do happy making things.  John said we could go to the park.  Will you go to the park with me?" he babbled with a bright, happy grin.

"Sure, we can go to the park with you," Dean decided.  He stood up.  "Let me put on my boots."  Xander danced around, waking Sammy up from his nap.  "No, let Sammy sleep, Xander.  Sammy has a headache."  Xander stared at him.  "He'll be fine.  He took something for it."  He walked the boy out, looking at the officer.  "Not like I see them all that often, dude.  I haven't seen the in-laws in years.  We're going to the park."

"I was warned to let him wear himself out."

"Sure, we can do that."

"Can we slide and swing?  I haven't gotten to swing in a long time," Xander said, beaming at them.  He waved at the officer.  "Bye, Mr. Werekitty Officer."  He giggled as he climbed into Dean's car and buckled up so they could head off.  Dean waved at his father.

John looked at him.  "Really?"

"Umm....."

"Don't.  Just don't.  We're protecting him because he draws demons."

"Shit."

"Basically.  Anything else we can do for you, Officer?"

"No.  I'm good.  By the way, I do lock myself up."

"Then I don't have to deal with you.  We'll be heading tomorrow."

"We'll keep an eye on him.  My dam said a lot about demon magnets."  He walked off, going to talk to the motel manager about what he had learned.  The guy was a demon, he should've sensed that.

John went inside to lay down, one arm over his eyes.  Then he decided to call Bobby.  "We're heading to Chicago but I'm sending you something very important.  How would you like to receive it?"  He listened.  "Who told you about Xander?"  He heard Sam groan.  "Go back to sleep, Sammy.  Dean's got him at the park."  He listened to one of his oldest friends tell him about the rumors going around.  "No, the kid's a demon magnet.  Severely drawing them.  The poor kid's already caused some asexual reproducers to go mate, Bobby.  Keystone."  He smiled.  "Sure, I can send it that way later."  He hung up and took a rest while he could.  Dean would feed the kid lunch and let him wear himself out.  He hoped.  If Xander had an off switch they hadn't found it yet.  Just riding in the car with him was tiring.

***

Adam Pierson saw a strange quartet walking down his street, but the young one with them was very dear to him.  He'd know that messy head anywhere.  He'd petted it many times.  "Xander?" he called quietly.  The boy had bat hearing when he wanted to.  Even though he was humming the boy stopped and stared back in his direction.  He smiled.  "Xander?"  He waved and the boy bounced over, letting him hug him.  "What happened to you?"

"I got cursed."

"I can see that."  He straightened out his t-shirt and stared at him.  "By who?"  He shrugged.  "Hmm."  He looked at the three large, overprotective looking men.  "Relax, gentlemen.  Why did you bring Xander to Chicago?"

"If you're Adam, you're supposed to know," Dean told him.

"Oh, dear.  I'd heard I was supposed to draw up papers and leave the name blank.  I was hoping it was one who was getting a real keeper that needed one."  He finished his coffee and put down the check's value while he fed Xander the rest of his muffin.  "Come along, gentlemen, we'll discuss this back at my flat for safety reasons."  He walked them off, smiling at the energetic young man.  "You have no need to be nervous.  I will not allow you to be hurt."

Xander stared at him. "They said demons want to make me a purr kitty."

"Yes, many have wanted you that way, and for other reasons," he agreed.  "We'll tell them why, Xander.  Do not fear.  You can even torment Ray into taking you to the masseuse with him."  Xander beamed at that.  "You've been?"

"He had a cramp and moaned the whole time Sammy worked it out of his calf," Dean told him.  "So this..."  Adam glared at him.  "Whoa, trying to learn how to protect him."

"Discussing this in the open is more likely to lead to all of you being taken."  He got them into his apartment building and up to their nice penthouse.  He locked the doors before settling in on the couch.  "Xander, there's chocolate in the refrigerator."

"Don't you dare," John ordered.  "You'll never slow down the bouncing."

"While it does make him hyper, it helps wear out the other problem," Adam said firmly, staring him down.

Xander patted his hand.  "The DPP guy said that Sammy and Deanny need the same talk," he said quietly, staring at him.  "Can I really have chocolate?"

"A small piece to start."  Xander beamed and went to find one with Dean's help.  John was still scowling.  He sighed.  "What have you found out about GHS, gentlemen?"

"Not much.  Only what's on the site," Sam said, sitting across from him. "I figured he was when he was...older."

"The first natural level ten in generations," Adam agreed.  "One of the strongest we've ever recorded."  John moaned, sitting down.  "One of the times Devi sent him shopping the guard with him had to steal him back sixty-eight times in one day."

John stared, mouth slightly open.  "How do we stop that from happening again?" Dean asked when he and Xander came back.

"First, you help him wear his pheromones and hormones out.  However you can do it at his age.  We don't usually manifest until after puberty but Xander does like to bend the rules of the universe quite a lot.  He's actually fairly well known for it and for warping prophecies."  John stiffened, staring at him.  "Couldn't find out much about his life?"

"No.  We were only given him two days ago."

"Ah."  He nodded, going into his office to bring back something.  He had done Xander's intake file himself.  Including the background and the detailed medical history.  He handed it to Sam.  "We'll need to test all three of you as well.  If the DPP says one of you is, they'd know."

"How hard is the test?" Dean asked.

"Bloodwork.  I won't put you through the traditional test."  Sam gave him an odd look. "Unless you have a weekend to spare?"

"No," he admitted.  He went back to reading, handing each page to his brother, who handed it to his father.  At the end he looked at the napping boy then at their host.  "So how do we deal with this?"

"He must be kept worn out of these particular problems. There's drugs that can help if he's backed up but they're very dangerous and can kill him if used too often or in too high of a dosage."

Sam nodded.  "Okay.  I understand how he'd do it when he was older."

"Any pleasure can wear out a slight amount.  Any boredom makes it grow.  His problem is that he's years away from the best sources of pleasure to wear those out."

"There's no half dose we can give him once a week?" John asked.

"Once a month in adults is considered risky."

John slumped at that.  "Its going to be nearly impossible to keep him safe."

"Yes, well.  Someone has to until we can get the stupid curse broken.  Do look on the bright side however," he said smugly.  "As demon hunters, you'll be seeing many who are dangerous and could use slain."

"Gee, thanks," Dean said dryly.  "How many on average do you think?"

Adam pulled up something on his laptop he had brought out with the folder.  "This is his main bank account.  He's got a few special purpose ones that are hiding some tips he doesn't like to deal with.  He was there for just over four weeks, four weeks and two days if I remember right."  He let Dean see the balance, watching his eyes bug.  "That's not his investments, that's not his shopping account, that's not his tips that he doesn't want to deal with or any of the gemstones he's received.  That's his paycheck that he was going to use to set up himself up once he left in another week and a half."

"How?" Dean wheezed, sounding weak.

"His hormones do draw them.  He's created many bidding wars over his tenure.  He was due to be there for six weeks."  John leaned over to look and choked.

Sam didn't look.  "So he was a special entertainer.  That's fine with us.  We were told he was there to find himself."

"Basically to answer questions about his sexuality, yes.  It was Devi who realized he was GHS and had me summoned so I could sort him.  His former reputation and now his hormones make him very wanted.  As demons want to take you three out for your reputation and take Samuel and Dean for their hormones."

"No way," Dean said, shaking his head.  "I can't be.  The site said things about confusion.  I'm pretty clear headed."

"You probably wear it out enough," Adam told him.  "I do and don't suffer those consequences.  He will."  He went to get a small test kit.  He put one testing pad in front of each of them.  "Three or four drops of blood please.  We can make certain."  They sighed and pulled out knives to do that.  Adam dropped in the test solutions, watching where they showed up.  "Samuel, you're backed up."  He looked at him.  "Have you been feeling confused?"  He nodded a little bit.  John moaned.  "Both boys test about a level five.  It looks like Samuel's a bit stronger than Dean is."

"If Sammy was, say, psychic or something, would that matter?" Dean asked.

"Beyond giving him another reason to be snatched?  Yes.  Being backed up can mean that you get more visions but they tend to be less focused and more surreal from what we've heard anecdotally.  More vivid colors, swirling clouds, strange body shapes."  He looked at Sam, who groaned and leaned forward to cover his face.  "There's many ways of wearing that out, Samuel.  Any pleasure, even the smallest, can help.  The best is still the most natural one but we have one level nine that completely discharges only when he's seeing his next child being born.  He has three wives and they've all had four children since he was found and diagnosed.  They do wish him to find another wife or another way but that is the only way he can fully delete his down to base human levels."

"You're going to have to start picking up chicks, Sammy," Dean ordered.

"I tried."

"I know.  Try harder.  Let Xander pout one into bed for you."  They shared a look behind their father's back.  "Want ice cream for supper?"

"Sure, I could stand that," he decided, looking at Adam.  "There's a lot we have to know, huh?"

"Quite."  He went to get the new member information packet and handed them each one. "Xander's is in your hands, John.  Level nines and tens often have more problems."  Someone used a key to get in.  "Ray.  These are Samuel, Dean, and their father John.  They've recently been given custody of Xander."

"Why?  He get hurt or banged up too hard?" he demanded, staring at them.  Then he noticed the boy.  "How in the fuck?" he demanded.

"A curse," John told him.  "We were told it was done by someone at the brothel."

"Then they're quite sorry.  He made Devi an enormous amount of money.  Devi probably had to be pulled off his mangled corpse."  He looked at his boyfriend. "Yes, curses do exist, even if you've never noticed them during your patrol.  Xander dealt with things like that.  I've got a call out to some sources to see if we can break it.  I did tell them not to alert his old friends since they decided they didn't want him to go home," he told Dean.  Dean nodded once at that, getting the message clearly.  "Do not seek them out for help.  Even Rosenburg.  Her girlfriend might be safe, I'm not sure."  He looked at the boy then at his boyfriend.  "We need to work on paperwork for him.  They hunt the sort of beings that would want to take him."

"That's good ta know.  Then you guys could probably figure out why I had a blue guy with spots earlier?"  They all nodded.  "He gonna be trouble in lockup for beating an old lady?"  They all nodded again.  "Oh, well, meant I put him in with the Bloods for a good reason."  He sat down next to Xander, stroking over his head.  The boy blinked at him.  "Hi, Xander.  I'm Ray.  Adam told me all about you."

Xander grinned.  "Ray?"  He nodded.  "Bathroom?"  He stood up and helped him that way.  "Thank you.  I can do this part."

"Of course you can."  He went back to the living room.  "So, now what?"

"Now, they get a fairly decent room with some privacy for the boy and Samuel both," Adam told him.  "By the way, Ray is not only my boyfriend but a level seven, gentlemen.  Dean and Sam both tested at level fives and Xander's still clearly a level ten."

Ray grimaced. "That's gonna suck getting him worn out."

"Yup," Dean agreed.  "But he can do happy kid things to help with that.  Even if he might not like being in the car a lot."

"We'll figure it out.  We had to figure out how to deal with these two on the road," John assured him.  "Is there a good motel for a few days?"

Ray snorted.  "Yeah, right."  He looked over at the bathroom.  "Xander, need help?" he called.

"No, looking at the tub."  He came out of the bathroom.  "What's with all the funny spots in it?"

"Those are jets to make your muscles feel better when they're tired," Adam told him.  "It feels very nice and creates excellent bubbles."

"Outside our means," John said quietly.

Adam snorted, pointing at the boy.  "There's many who would gladly pay their whole family's fortune to own him."  Xander yelped as something bit him on the ankle, glaring at it before picking it up to stare at.  "What is that?"

"Jeweled hissy thing."  He handed it over with a snort.  Then he looked up.  "I don't like hissy things!  Dean said I can't have a pet because I'm in the car all the time!"  The mechanical snake disappeared and a bowl of chocolate mousse appeared in front of them.  Dean stopped him.  "Hey!" he whined.

"Xander, it could be sent by someone who could hurt you.  You always let us test it first," John ordered.  The boy pouted but let him taste a bit before handing it over.  Xander happily ate it, sharing with Ray and Dean now and then.  It was his treat.  John looked at Adam, who gave him a smug look.  "What do they want in return?"

"This is their version of pre-courting.  Getting his attention so they can make their play more obvious.  In the past I've been showered with gems and gold, dressed outlandishly, taken on realmal vacations at their places of residence to show how good I'd fit in.  Oh, if you hear about a harem, it means the family you gather around you to help you.  Those who support you, protect you, help you when you're backlogged, all that.  I can also tell you any that come after him will not be the plebeian demons and vampires of the lower classes.  Ones such as Xander draw royalty and Old Ones.  Members of the Demonic Council.  They probably won't try too many petty power plays.  At this age, he's valuable but not as valuable as he'll be when he's sixteen and free of the family's control by their laws."

John nodded once.  "What about when he starts to wonder about that stuff?"

"Hold it off for as long as possible because his body will start to rely on that release.  By himself is one thing.  With another is something else.  I can tell you that Xander was very macho but he took well to being a bottom.  It seemed to resonate with him.  It made more sense with how his hormones were running backlogged constantly.  Xander, use some manners," he ordered.  The boy quick licking the mousse out of the details carved in the spoon.  "Level sixes and sevens can work," he said quietly.  "Level eights can sometimes work from home but need a lot of guidance.  Usually level sevens and up are housebound or nearly so to protect them and keep them on a schedule they can wear themselves out on.  Level nines often need more than one full time lover or spouse.  Level tens often need that and backup in case they wear someone out or they kill one.  Xander had one client who had a heart attack," he said very quietly.  "He was frustrated and bouncy."

John nodded slowly at that.  "In our life, that's not the easiest thing to do."

"He had a girlfriend and the constant threat in his former life was wearing it out enough for him that it hardly ever erupted or it was masked by the Hellmouth.  Whatever is held down will need to come out sometime however."

Dean nodded.  "I can understand that.  Like adrenaline rushes.  Only in reverse."  Adam nodded.   "We can handle that.  Think the higher class places have Magic Fingers systems?"

Adam smirked.  "There is one in the city that would meet that desire, have things for Samuel to cure himself with and a tub for Xander to play in for hours on end.  Before you ask, I can make his funds available for you to upkeep him.  He will be miserable otherwise and you'll probably need it."  The bowl disappeared and Xander smiled up and said a quiet 'thank you'.  "Very good manners."  He smiled at John.  "They were going to find him a protector until he found a decent enough keeper for himself.   He may be able to handle the life you live as long as he's wearing it out."

"That's going to be the challenge," John agreed.  Adam nodded.  "You're sure he won't mind?"

"Devi never gave him his last paycheck."  He held up the envelope.  "Ray put the letter on my desk and I hadn't seen it yet."

"Let me call the Riotville thing."  Sam gave him an odd look.  "Last year they had a comic convention that turned into a riot when a popular actor didn't get to show up in time.  SWAT was not amused."  He went to call them.  They were used to GHS.  The fact that GHS traveled with their family, their pets, all that.   He told them two GHS, their father to guard them, and their son.  They found them a good suite with a great view and promised to have the in-bed massage function on at least one bed.  He hung up so he could join them.  "It's got a good suite.  They have massage beds, Dean.  Samuel, they've got a good masseuse on staff who's used to dealing with us.  She's gotten me out of backlog many times. Adam too.  The tub's huge so he can play with bubbles for hours." They all smiled and nodded.  "I told them you were there to guard your boys," he told John.

"That's fine."

"What happens if a demon attacks us there?" Dean asked.

"Three very ancient vampires own that hotel but they're all in Switzerland," Adam said dryly.  "One of them was formerly GHS when he was alive during the Victorian times."  They all moaned.  "That's why it caters to us and if something happens they have security, a sorcerer on staff, and do cater to the GHS side of things.  Including call out services if you should need them."  He clapped his hands.  "It'll take me most of the night to draw up the appropriate paperwork."  He went into his office and came out with something.  "This is Xander's spare card.  In case he lost his other one.  He had one jealous coworker try to steal his paycheck once.  The pin is on the back."  Dean looked then nodded.  "Get him clothes and whatever he needs.   It will be for his benefit."  They nodded and left with the packets and the boy.  "I'll see you tomorrow afternoon, Xander."  The boy beamed and waved at them.  He leaned back with a sigh once the door was closed.  "That's the most difficult problem I've seen recently."

"Even worse than Mac?" Ray teased.

"Quite, he's only insane.  Xander will drive others to that point."  They shared a kiss as Ray settled into his lap to cuddle him into a better mood.  Xander would be young and pretty for a very long time.

***

Sam looked over all the paperwork for his father.  Then he looked at Adam.  "How in the hell, dude?"

Adam smiled.  "Xander is a very unique young man, Sam."  He had been told use Sam instead of Samuel because he felt like he was in school.  "He was well liked by many of the higher end clients and since he was there to find himself he got a few...unusual ones."

"Sarthna are what sort?" John asked.

"Digging demons.  Tunnelers.  Collectors as well.  There is one who seemed to favor Xander when Devi handed him over. The other boys were unhappy that the clients were going for the new thing instead of them.  Those wooden boxes in his box of belongings are the rest of his tips and his kidnaping apology present."

John shook his head.  "I thought the one this morning was bad."

Adam nodded.  "About average really.  Most of them know he can't be touched until he's over legal age to the demons.  Feel free to take out the few immoral ones."

John nodded.  "Gladly.  I can't stand it in humans and I won't in demons."  He looked at the one Sam handed him, going pale.  "He has how much overall?"

"That's without the boxes," Adam offered. "Or any gifts they might decide to send down.  Duck."  He pulled a pillow over his head.  Sam did the same.  It was nice that someone was feeding their chocolate habit with nice, tiny wrapped, expensive chocolates.  He tasted one and moaned.  "Oooh, Godiva.  Thank you, I needed that," he called.  "Still taken."  He put the pillow down and winced as something hit his head.  He took off the tiara.  "Nor am I royal."  It disappeared and so did half the chocolates.  He shrugged and ate another one, tossing one to Sam to eat.  The tiara ended up on his head.  "Protest if you want to."

"I'm grieving over my lost girlfriend, who a demon killed.  I'm not taking suitors."  It stayed.  He groaned and took it off.  It levitated back.  "Why don't you hit on Dean?" he begged.  "He's single and looking!"  It disappeared.  He grinned.

"Dean's going to thump you," John said.

"Maybe.  Oh well.  Xander will save me."  He grinned.  Adam burst out laughing.  "He will.  He'll use it to sneak attack Dean again.  Like last time."  John moaned, rubbing his forehead.  "Shrieking and giggling," he said at the odd look.

"That can do it to the strongest parent," Adam assured them.  "All that should be in order.  Now, about the curse.  I had the on-site sorcerer look at it.  It was a curse.  The pro who did it did it on purpose and with full intent due to jealousy.  It can be removed but only at certain times of the year and only under certain conditions.  One of them being that he has to be fully worn out.  The out clause was for Xander to become a normal man."  They stared.  "Yes, fully worn out means what you think.  Down to the normal levels John would show.  It can be done at any equinox.  It can be done by nearly any witch, sorcerer, or warlock if you want to do that."  He handed over a small journal.  "That's the ritual, the spell itself, and the timing charts."

Sam tucked it into his bag.  "We'll do our best."

"I do miss the annoying little imp.  He had some of the worst luck," Adam sighed, shaking his head.  He'd be there long after Xander had fully aged again and more than that he hoped but he did miss his smart mouth and wit.

"He'll be that Xander again sometime soon," Sam reminded him.  "Then you can nag him about being so little."  Adam smirked meanly at that.  "Any other special precautions we should know about?"

"Not that I've heard.  I have put around to contact me or Ray if anyone wanted to get serious about him.  That you three were guarding him and I was his protector.  They weren't happy but oh well."  He smirked.  "They did get the point."  Of his sword, in one case in the gut.  It had been a very good time that night.

"Dad, can you give me a few minutes for some nosy questions?"  John left.  Sam stared at him.  "I'm not trying to be rude or nosy or anything."  Adam gave him a dirty look so he grinned.  "But I ran across this fascinating site by someone named A. Q. Thomalson."  Adam groaned.  "That mentioned how some of us got strange feelings off others.  Is that a GHS thing he got wrong or not?  Because I only read two of the languages we've heard you muttering in and the only way you could know how to speak them was if you were there."

Adam stared at him.  "Why do you want to know, Samuel?"

He leaned on his knees, staring at him.  "Because I get this strange feeling whenever you get about a hundred yards away from me," he admitted.

Adam sighed.  There went his plan to lie.  This one would surely come over and he was guarding what was precious to him.  "He was correct."

"I know I'm not."

"Yet," he corrected.

Sam nodded once.  "Then that explains that problem.  Okay."  He stood up with a grin.  "When and if, can I come to you to get a recommendation for someone to help me get where I need to be so I survive as long as you have?  Someone's got to watch out for the family."

"I can do that," he agreed, smiling gently.  He wouldn't ruin the surprise of there being another in that family or that he was sure Xander was a pre-immortal as well.  "Protect him well."

"I will."  He shook his hand.  "Thanks, Adam."

"Not a problem, young man.  Just protect him as best you can."

"Protecting him protects us too," Sam assured him.  He left, going to pick on Dean about getting a tiara.  Of course, they found Dean had given it to Xander to dance around in to MTV.  He was doing what the dancers in the rap video were.

John glared and turned off the tv.  "That is not how men dance, Xander, and that was disgusting for someone your age."

Xander pouted.  "It's good exercise."

"Maybe, but still not appropriate for your age."  He went to find one of the tapes they had gotten, sliding it into the player for him.  "There, do that one instead."  Xander pouted but followed along with the tape, getting into it.

"Cute crown, Princess Dean," Sam teased.

"Yeah, well, he thinks I'm a royal pain and I am."  He smirked back.  "Thinks Xander's a princess too."

"Hey!  I'm not a princess!  I won't be one of those until I get my own keeper!"  He pouted and went back to his dancing/exercise period.

"That's not for many years," John assured him.  He looked at Dean, pointing at the crown.  "It looks better on him than it does on you."

"No, his looks very pretty and goes very well with his eyes," Xander said proudly.  "It's got green stones too."  He pointed at the box it was in.  "It was floaty and possessed so Dean put it in time out."

Sam let it out of the box, watching as it floated over to settle back in Dean's hair, no matter how much he swatted at it.  Sam even got a picture before Dean managed to finally get it off him and under the newspaper.  Xander was giggling and twirling around.  "Xander, need some play time?"

"Please!" he begged, giving him a puppy eyed look.  "Can we go see the fishes in the lobby too?  And maybe have burgers for dinner?  I like their burgers and their fries.  Please, Sam?"

"Sure."  He took him down there to do that.  Xander liked to stare at the fish.  It kept him out of trouble so they'd indulge him a bit.

John looked at his oldest son.  "Get rid of the tiara, Dean.  I don't want to have nightmares about you being married off like in the Princess Bride."

"Funny, Dad.  Really," Dean said dryly, glaring at him.  "I'm not that sort of royal pain."  He stood up and tossed him the tiara.  "See, it likes you more.  It's loving on you."  He went to the oversized bathroom to sulk for a bit.  Sam would get pictures of it on his father when he couldn't shake it either.

***

John walked into his friend's church three days later.  He was local.  He needed help.  He badly needed help.  He walked up to where Father Jim was praying and knelt beside him, mumbling his own for patience.  He got a sideways look from the priest.  "There has got to be an exorcism for hormones," he said quietly, glancing around.

"Not that I've heard of.  Which boy needs them?  The ever ready to please Dean or the grieving Sam ready to move on?"

"Neither."  He looked at him.  "I need complete silence."  Jim just nodded and took him to a room in the back of the basement where no one ever went.  It held the hunter's supplies and John sat down on top of a box, telling him everything quietly.  At the end, Jim was trying hard not to laugh.  "I don't see how I can't ruin him, Jim.  It was bad enough with Sammy and Dean.  I know I did wrong by them.  I realized that.  It took Sammy leaving for me to see it.  This new one is softer and he's more gentle in a lot of ways.  Though he's a violent little thing that wanted to stake a demon the other day."

"This is an odd situation but it does mean that they think you can protect the boy."

"Without turning him gun happy and stranger than he already was?"

"Perhaps.  Then again, perhaps he already knew the life.  Wasn't he hunting demons before?"

"Then he went on a road trip, decided to do the finding himself thing.  His friends don't want him back."

"I've heard a bit about his former town and friends."  He smirked.  "The boy's not helpless.  He's clouded by what you've been told.  You need to find a way to wear that out of him."

"He's too young."

"Well, yes, but there's other ways, right?"  He heard a footstep and looked out the ill-fitting edge of the doorway.  "Company."  He got up and grabbed something, opening the door to find Dean there.  "Coming to talk too?"

"Yup."  He sat down and tossed his father something.  "Sammy and Xander came back with that after their last trip that lasted about two hours."

John looked at the small, carved statue.  "What is it?"

"An inanimate pet.  It'll change when Xander says the code phrase.  So he can have a pet that can travel with us."

"The demon who gave it to him?"

"We have no idea how to kill it.  He told Sam he's not going to hurt him; he was keeping him away from another one that was going to try to kill him.  He told Sammy that  he was in love with Xander, showed him why and how, let him see some of the recordings he had done of his life.  Xander needed physical training back then according to Sammy."  John groaned.  "Then he gave Sammy a nice little bracelet that can help wear out some of the hormones by sucking it off.  It'll need to be emptied once a month but it'll bring him down to our level.  Which means we can do the spell easier."

John smirked.  "Who is this demon?"

"His name's Vesvold and he's on the Demonic High Council.  All Sammy's found so far is that they're nearly mythical they're so rare, and there may be very few ways of killing it.   He's one of the types that is, but isn't necessarily evil.  Even though he's a politician."

"Is the bracelet working?" Jim asked.

"Xander went down for a voluntary nap," Dean said with a proud grin.  "Him and his second little monkey/dog thing.  They're a matched set."

"He turned it on?"

"Yup.  Vesvold said it'd protect him while he slept and play with him when he wanted it to.  He also said it's toilet and plant trained."

"Even better."  John shifted on his box.  "Do we believe this demon?"

"We do.  Sammy said he believed him.  He didn't make a threatening move.  He told Sammy how to tell which present came from which demon.  He's got three major pre- wannabe owners and two who're kinda hedging their bets.  Two are definitely going to be bad for him.  He knows them socially and he'll be castrated upon marriage to them."  John and Jim both shuddered.  "Sam passed back a polite version of fuck off for the kid."

"Good," Jim decided.  "Can you help him wear out the rest?"

"We hope so."  He activated the dog/monkey statue, watching as it looked around, sniffed them all, then disappeared to guard its master.  "See?"  He looked at his father.  "Though, we do have to do another drop.  Sammy came back with shit out the ass to be courted."

"Why?" John moaned.

"Because one of them wants him badly, they even promised to guard him from the demon who took out Mom."  John stared at him.  "No idea if she'd give us information but Sammy didn't say more than that.  He looked a bit hysterical as well."

"John, don't rush into that situation.  She's still a demon," Jim warned.

"I'm not going to sell him off for it," John said with a glare at his buddy.

"I know you won't.  Still, let Sammy calm down about that first."  That got a nod.  "Can I meet the tyke?  He sounds nice."

"We're at the Palace," Dean told him.  Jim gaped.  "The guy who did the custody of Xander's stuff with us, the national head, said we can use his funds and insisted we stay there since they're used to GHS members."  He smirked.  "They even have yearly conventions somewhere."

"I doubt you can bring a child to them," John complained.  He didn't want to think about what happened at these conventions.

"We can so, we have to leave him in the room but we can bring him," Dean told him.  "Adam insisted so he could check on him."

John looked down, shaking his head.  "Are you sure there's not an exorcism for these hormones?" he asked his friend.

"I'll look to see."

"Xander's a medium," Dean told him.  Both older men groaned.  "Of the sticking to him variety.  Sam's background found one fully and one due to a spell."

"We can try to remove it more fully," John said firmly.

"Sammy tried.  Didn't work."  He smirked a bit.  "Xander growled at him for it."

"Was it a primal?" Jim asked.

Dean nodded.  "Hyena.  Vesvold's been tracking the boy since he was about this age the first time according to Sam."  He gave his father a smug look.  "The other gave him soldier's memories."

"Did he use them?"

"To lead a battle at graduation."

"Wonderful," John said.  "So if we can get him back down to a nearly normal level, he can be a normal boy?"

Jim nodded.  "But a caution because it may not stop them if they already know about him and it won't stop surges.  Everyone gets them."

"Yeah, about that, how did Xander pouting end up with Sammy negotiating to not get partial interest in the hotel?" Dean asked.  John just gave him a horrified look.  "They were.  Sammy was trying to get out of it when I left."

"Come over tonight, Jim?" John begged.

"Of course."  He smiled as father and son went back to save their younger two members.  Then he burst out laughing once they were safely out of hearing.  Only a Winchester got into that sort of trouble.  He went to call a few friends to tell them John had gotten custody of a younger son.  He wondered which car the kid rode in.

***

They walked into their hotel room, finding Sam on the floor underneath a pile of multiple colored fabrics and some loose threads.  "Sammy?" Dean asked.

"I don't care *who* he thinks he is.  God or not, I'm going to beat his ass if he tries to touch me again," he muttered.  "Can't breathe."

John pushed at the fabric with a foot.  Dean got down to uncover him.  They found Sam in the most fetching harem outfit, though it was pornographically thin.  "Did you have fun?"

"Don't make me kill you," Sam said with a sneer.  John backed off at that.  He looked at his brother.  "This one thinks he's a fallen one."

"Charming.  You good?"

"No."  He stood up with help, looking at himself.  "I want my own clothes back," he snarled.  They appeared, clean, folded, mended, on the sideboard in the living room.  "Thank you.  No more anything.  I'm not interested."  He stomped into the bathroom to change.

John watched his youngest son.  "Son, do you need a medic?" he called.

"He only played mind games so I'd agree," he called back.  "If he had come that close he'd be dead."  A flash of light went off in there and Sam stomped out about three minutes later, putting the head in front of his father.  "He decided I was the prettier son, bitchy attitude and all.  I'm going to the bar."  He went to change out of non-bloody clothes then headed down to get a drink.

Dean looked at the head, then nodded slowly.  "What type are they?"

"No idea," John admitted, staring at it.  "We've got to figure out how to protect you boys."

"Ya think?" Dean asked dryly.  His father glared.  "Dad, Sammy's now been taken at least three times that we know of.  Xander's twice as bad as either of us."

"I get that, Dean.  I have no idea how to protect you unless I move you three to holy ground."

Vesvold appeared, handing over something.  "The third of that set.  One for each of the boys to protect them at least a bit."  He looked at the head then sighed.  "Looks like his position will be coming open on the Council.  Pity.  He was finally starting to do things in a decent manner for the clans he represents."  He looked at John again.  "You might try an anti- teleporting charm but half of them would use portals."

"Who're you?" John demanded.

"Vesvold."

"You don't want the boy like the others?"

"Not until he's ready to come to me of his own free will," he promised with a smile.  "I admire Xander greatly and want the full ride with him. You're lucky my protection takes out the rest of the hierarchies for the most part.  Many still want him because he's a powerful young man.  Guard him well, Winchester.  He is more special than even you can know."  He looked at Dean.  "That one is for your protection.  The other is watching your brother.  If you're threatened they will activate on their own."

"So carry them with us?"

"Or have them near you as part of your wards.  Though I do think Xander's should be on as often as possible so there's no lag in the protection."

"Will it tell us?"

"It will fight for him but it is still an animal.  I didn't want to give him something poisonous."

"No, that's a good idea," John agreed.  "Any other handy charms that might help?"

"He does have latent magic.  Mostly of the plant growing varieties.  Portals he's becoming more attuned to as well.  The more he's used to them the easier it will be for him to work with them."

"Should we start the beginning Wicca exercises?" Dean asked.

Vesvold shrugged.  "Whichever takes his fancy at this point.  He wasn't doing anything but trying not to let it out before.  His best friend is a witch and made fun of him for wanting to shield after a few good accidents."  He smirked.  "She and her slayer are due to meet a very messy end because many of his former clients love Xander.  They were most peeved when they heard about them not wanting him back."  He looked at John.  "I can tell you his father once gave him to Strife if he could only win that hand of poker.  I can tell you other chaos gods love him as well."

"They all love kids because of the things they get into," John said dryly.

Vesvold sighed but nodded.  "As did my three."  He shook his head.  "He'll be fine.  I wouldn't encourage chaos magic but you never know with Xander."  He shrugged.  "I gave Samuel the draining spell for the bracelet.  Any nice, open area should do as long as it can connect with the earth.  If you use the same spot too many times it may become a popular make out spot but any rains will wash it out eventually."

"Good to know.  Any other precautions?"

"He'll still be bouncy on chocolate even when he's down."  He did something over the boy's bracelet and the boy sighed in pleasure, cuddling his pet better.  "There, it's drained for the month.  That took care of his backlog."  He smirked at Dean.  "You and your brother are both being lusted after.  Make careful choices, young man."

"I can't go to anyone until Xander's safe."

"That's a very wise choice but there are those who are pushy.  A few wouldn't mind taking the whole family to protect.  You two would be favored pets now while John raised Xander until he was of age."  He disappeared with that warning.  He wanted to go beat a monsoon demon for trying that move.

Dean looked at John.  "Were you thinking we were bored with the normal stuff?"

"Sammy said something about it always being the same," John muttered, shaking his head.  Dean laughed.  Xander yawned and woke up.  "Hey, kiddo. You want to keep napping?"

Xander blinked at him.  "See fishes?"

"Sure.  Get up and get dressed."  Xander went to get dressed.  They found him looking at the outfits that had joined his.  "Only normal boy clothes.  We can drop those off somewhere."  Xander nodded and pulled on normal boy clothes, then took his friend with him down to watch the fish.  The manager gave John an odd look.  "It was a present."

"He's already manifested?"

John nodded.  "Long story but yeah."

"Poor boy."  He got Xander a peppermint from the desk then looked at him.  "Mr. Pierson said you four were leaving tomorrow probably?"

"We are.  Check out is eleven or ten?"

"Eleven, sir."

"That's fine.  He'll be up by then."  That got a knowing look.  "We have a friend coming in tonight."

"Did you need a room service menu?"

"No, thank you anyway," Xander said with a grin.  "John, can we have steaks?  I want something I can chew on."

"There's a good buffet up the street, you can have one there."  Xander did his happy dance, making everyone watching smile.  "Spoiled," he teased.

Xander pouted slightly.  "I'm trying not to be."

"I know.  You're doing good so far, Xander."  The boy beamed and cuddled his pet, pointing out the fish he had named.  The dog/monkey stared then chattered at him.  Xander looked around then pointed.  "That's Pastor Jim.  He's a friend of the family, kiddo.  Jim, this is Xander."

He smiled, leaning down to shake his hand.  "Good afternoon, Xander."

"Hi," he said shyly, hiding behind his friend's back.  "Are you a nice guy?"

"I'm a very nice guy.  You don't have to be scared of me."

"Want to pet my monkey?"

"He looks like a good friend," he said, petting the creature on the head.  It chirped a few times at him then went back to staring at the fish.  Xander smiled and went back to telling his friend about them.  He smirked at Jim.  "Everyone still okay?"

"Sammy's in the bar.  Let me get him.  Xander, do not move from there or Jim's sight."

"Yes, John."  He grinned at the older man.  "Do you like fish?"

"I think it's a beautiful tank of fish."  He settled in beside the tank to watch him.  Dean came down with a smirk for him.  Sam and John came out of the bar together.  "Are we set for dinner?"

John checked Xander.  Dean handed over shoes, which got handed to Xander.  He sighed but put them on.  "Shoes are always worn when you're outside the room," he ordered.  Xander sighed again but nodded.  They headed out together.  Xander rode with the boys.  Jim rode with John to get filled in on what else had happened.  Sam got Xander his wishes from the buffet and the boy learned some faster table manners at the gentle swats John gave him for being so messy in public.  "In the room is fine.  In public is not," he said quietly.  Xander nodded, ducking his head.  "And tomorrow you start PT."

Xander blinked at him.  Then at Dean.  "PT?"

"Exercises to make you better," Dean told him.  "Like we all do."

"Oh, that stuff."  He grimaced.  "I'm already hyper."

"That'll help wear some of that out," John assured him.  "Then you can eat chocolate without bouncing."

"Fine."  He dug in again, eating more mannerly.  Even if Dean was eating with his mouth open and Sam was trying hard not to mention it.  Xander pointed at it for John's benefit.

John caught him.  "Your mother taught you better, Dean Winchester."  He swallowed and took smaller bites.  He shook his head, going back to eating.  Xander finally headed for the dessert part of the bar with Dean.  Both of them came back loaded and Sam had to help him steal cookies before Xander got hyper right before bedtime.  Xander whined but John glared so he quit.  "It's eight.  You still have a bath and bedtime in an hour and a half."

"Yes, John."  He dug in anyway.  He loved pudding.  Even if they had taken his cookies.  He detoured to get one on the way out, trailing behind them to nibble it on the way to the car.  His pet came out of his pocket once he was inside the car.  Dean checked his seatbelt visually.  "What?" he asked innocently.

"You can sneak one now and then, Xander.  We don't mind," Sam promised.  "It was that you came back with the half the bar that Dean didn't inhale.  That's way too much sugar at this time of night."

"Fine."

Sam grinned.  "We'll work that out.  We're heading tomorrow."

"No more Ray and Adam?" he asked with a sniffle.

"You'll see 'em in six months at the convention," Dean said.  "They said so."  Xander beamed at that and they pulled out, heading to the hotel.  Xander went to take his bath/play in the bubbles/pretend to get clean while the adults settled in to talk about things time.  Hunting was going to be a bit harder with Xander along.  Then again, the demons were naturally drawn to him and Sam....

***

John walked up to Jim the next morning, handing him two large shopping bags.  "Here, stuff Xander doesn't need.  I figured you've got at least one person who attends who can sew."  He gave him a clap on the arm then smirked.  "We're heading to Bobby's then the Roadhouse."  That got a nod and a grin.  "Don't warn him."

"I told him you got given a new son."

"Thanks."  He walked off.  Jim's choked spluttering behind him was so cute.  They hadn't needed all that fabric, or half the girlish jewelry.  They had plenty laying around at the moment.  He climbed into his truck and headed off.  The boys had each other guarded.  If anything took one of them it'd take all three of them, the car, and the weapons.  That'd protect them.  He hoped.

***

Xander hopped out of the car, running inside.  "Sorry, Mr. Bobby.  I gotta go!"  He found the bathroom and slid inside to use it.  "Demons were mean and took us at the last potty break so Dean wouldn't let us stop."

Bobby Singer looked at the door for a second then went to find Dean.  Had to be Winchester.  No other Deans he knew.  "That the new son?"

"Yup," Dean said, sitting on his hood.  "Sammy will be back in a minute.  Dad too."

"Yelling?"

"Demon."

"Huh," he said dryly.  "You don't seem too nervous, Dean.  You sure you're all right?"  He splashed him with holy water.

"I'm fine."  Xander came out.  "Put your pet up.  You won't need him."  Xander muttered but put his pet down to statue form and put him into his pocket.  "Thank you.  Say hello to Bobby.  Sammy and Dad will be back soon."

"I'm going to stomp the mean old demon," he said with a glare, stomping his foot.  He looked up.  "I'll make you sorry if you hurt Sammy!" he yelled.  "Leave him alone!"  John got sent back growling.  "I mean it!" Xander yelled.  He undid his bracelet and ran over to where John was, getting taken with him.  They all came back ten minutes later.  He beamed at Dean, going over to hug him.  "The mean one is very sorry.  He babbled and he cried and he even begged Sammy not to bring me back."

"That's a good job," Dean praised with a grin.  "What did you do?"

Xander gave him his meanest smirk.  "I went princess."

"Good job, Xander!"  He gave him a high-five and they looked at the other two.  "Need medical attention?"

"Could use a beer," Sam admitted, staring at them.  "He's a little hellion when he wants to be."

John nodded.  "Thankfully he doesn't do that to us."

"The fishes were pretty when they were let free to float around.  Even if they did bite."  He patted himself down.  "Hey, I want my pet back!" he shouted.  It appeared on the ground in front of him and so did a package.  He didn't touch it until Dean had looked it over.  The box spewed stuff and a note that said he'd be back for Xander when he was older to court him.  "Eww, girl clothes," he complained loudly.

Bobby looked very confused.  "Why did they give the boy girl clothes?" he asked John.

"Because some demons want Xander, Sammy, and Dean to be pets," John said bluntly.

"Fat fucking chance," Xander muttered, looking at stuff.  "John, can I wear this as jammies?"

"You're not allowed to wear any present any demon gives you.  It shows favor, Xander.  Only the stuff Vesvold gives you since he doesn't want to keep you as a pet."

"Yes, John.  They're cute though."  He held up the black soft pants.  "See, they'd make good jammies."

"They are pajamas and no," Dean said.  "If it had been a person maybe, but no."  Xander sighed but nodded, putting things back as best he could.  The gold and jewels got left out.  "Those too, Xander."  Xander frowned but they wouldn't go back into the box.  "That's fine, we can sell those off.  Remember, if you keep them they think they can keep you."

"I know.  But it still sucks."

"I know," John promised.  "It's still not safe."

"Yes, John."  He let Sam help him gather stuff up.  "Some of this should be yours."

"I don't need it."  Dean gave him an odd look.  "I don't."  Though one of the amber and gold necklaces was clearly meant for him.  Either that or for around the boy's waist.  He grinned at Bobby.  "Long story that cannot get out."  He got splashed with holy water too.  "Don't catch his pet.  It's to protect him from things like that."

"Sure.  Can I hear the story now?"

"Not in the open.  Someone might hear and try to take Xander again," John told him, walking him inside.  The boys knew what rules he had set down for demonic presents.   They'd handle it.  Inside was a bucket of live lobsters and a large cooler full of bottles of wine.  "He's too young to drink," John called.  The cooler expanded.  "And we're beer sorts, not lobster and wine sorts."  A chocolate cake was added on top.  He groaned, looking at Bobby, who was staring at him looking *really* confused now.  "You know about the upper levels of demons, right?  The ones that aren't hell born but are like demonic royalty, the High Demonic Council, all that stuff?"

"Heard rumors," Bobby admitted.

"Heard about people with hormones that go into overdrive and attract everyone, no matter what?" John asked.

"Have," he agreed.  "We have one that lives about ten miles away.  They say he doesn't come out of the house much thanks to the last kidnapper being a bit mean to him.  And?"

"Xander's one of them.  His hormones attract the higher sorts of demons *and* humans."

"Ah!"  He nodded, understanding that.  "Hold on, Sammy and Dean?"

"Both are but are only half as strong.  Xander's one of the strongest they've seen in centuries according to Adam.  He's the national head over the group of people like them.  They're trying to get Xander to agree to let them court him when he's old enough.  Many of them want Sammy and Dean so they'll take all three and train Xander in his future role until he's old enough."

Bobby went to get a beer for him.  "You look like you need it."

"It's been four days.  Xander's been taken six times.  Sammy twice."  He saluted him once he had it open.  "They're pushy.  We've had a great time hunting them.  There's one who loved Xander for real but he hadn't stepped forward so this is after he announced his protection of the boy.  Vesvold's on the High Demonic Council."

"So we're keeping him from them but he'll go some day?"

"No.  We're making sure he doesn't have to go then either," Dean said as they walked in.  "He's going to pick his own keeper when he's old enough to have one and probably a protector too.  He's not going to the demonic if we can help it.  Even Vesvold.  He can work it out with him when he's an adult."  He looked at the boy then at their friend again.  "They're very pushy.  They'd more than happily keep Sammy and me now and then take Xander later."

"Huh," Bobby said.  "So he's not going to go but they all want him anyway?"

"Take a sniff of his hair," Sam said.  Bobby did and felt the same urge to hold the boy steal over him.  He backed up, looking alarmed.  "He draws both sides.  Two of the last six kidnapings have been people who wanted Xander instead of demons who wanted Xander."

"Shit, kids. That's going to be a hard thing to deal with unless you guys set up a fortress."

"Being on the move might help protect him more. It means they have to find him," John said, taking a sip.  "Unless you can find whatever locating charm them have on him and break it?"

Bobby nodded.  "I could."

"We're dumping his sucking bracelet weekly," Dean told them all.  "Just in case he starts to get a bit backed up after so long in the car."  Sam nodded at that.  "It sucks off the extra pheromones he's putting out," he said at the return of the confused look.

Xander looked in the bucket. "Why are there snappy, brown things?"

"Those are lobsters and someone decided we needed a fancy dinner," John said dryly.

"They'd hurt us if we tried to eat them," Xander said, looking confused.

"You boil 'em first," Dean told him.  "They're cooked so they're dead and can't bite back."

"Ewww!  They're alive!"

"We can put them into the fridge first so they don't feel it," Sam assured him.

"We should let them go," Xander told him.

"They can't survive around here," Dean told him, squatting down to get on his height.  "They live in the ocean off Maine and places like that.  We can't release them into any stream, Xander.  They'd die anyway."

"Oh."  He pouted.

"What did you think beef came from?"

"I know that but I didn't have to see them alive."

"I know, kiddo."  The lobsters disappeared.  "See, they're going to put them back or something."  Xander beamed at the ceiling for that.  A large case of something that smelled like blood appeared in the bucket's place.  On top of a tarp so no one would yell about blood on the rug.  "Hmm.  Dad?"

John got it open and looked, blinking.  "Damn good, thick cuts of steaks."

"Ooh, steak?" Xander asked, coming over to look.  "That's a lot of steaks.  We can't eat all those.  Even Dean can't."

Sam coughed.  "Bobby, don't you guys have a homeless shelter or something in town?"

"A soup kitchen.  No real homeless in town.  Only one guy that's a bit off who lives in the woods."

"Whatever we can't eat, we'll bring down to them?" Sam suggested to Xander and his father.

Xander beamed.  "That would make them feel really good, huh?" Xander asked.  Sam nodded.  "Okay.  John?"

"That's a good idea," he agreed.  Xander beamed.  "We'll have to buy some baggies to seal them in.  They won't take them otherwise."

"I've got a vaccu sealer.  Buy a new roll of bags," Bobby told him.  They nodded.  Dean went to get one and they started the grill.  The wine got put into the pantry.  The cake got put into the fridge for now so Xander couldn't try for the frosting.  They pulled out one for each of them, and two extras in case someone was really hungry, then bagged up the rest.  Bobby called someone at the soup kitchen so they came to get it.

Xander stared at the guy, blinking at him.  "You know Adam," he said quietly.  The guy stiffened and stared at him.  He grinned.  "I'm Xander."  He held up a hand.  "These are Dean and Sam.  They're like us, and John's their daddy.   Bobby's their friend."

Dean looked at him.  "He had an early breakout so we got found," he said quietly, shaking his hand.  "Dean Winchester."

"I saw the memo welcoming you two and Xander."  He smiled at Xander.  Then at them.  "He's really under a curse?"  Dean nodded.  "Poor kid.  I'm only a level six.  He's got to be in hell."

"He's had some help of the strange variety," Sam said with a grin.  "Want to join us for supper?"

"No, that's okay.  My keeper's waiting on me.  These steaks?"

"Gifts," Xander said.  "I think it'd make some people really happy to have them."

"It would, Xander.  That's very thoughtful."  He smiled and patted the boy on the head.  "You be very careful, young man.  The more who know the less safe you are."

Xander nodded.  "I know.  But I could feel you know.  You have that warm, fuzzy feeling Sam has sometimes."

"I know.  I'm backlogged."  He winked.  "Thanks, guys.  Good luck protecting him."  He smiled at Xander.  "I'll see you at the convention?"

"He'll be in the room but yeah, we'll be there," Dean promised.  They nodded and the guy left.

"Keeper?" Bobby asked.

"Boyfriend or girlfriend with extra duties to help protect them," Sam told him quietly.  "Protectors are bodyguards and what they sound like.  Higher levels like Xander are often have multiple of both kinds."

"So no marriage for him?" Bobby asked.

"They'd have to have the same sort of energy Xander does," Dean told him.  Xander pouted.  "For when you're older.  A keeper, Xander."

"Oh."  He nodded.  "Adam said I could like boys or girls."

"We don't care either way," John assured him.  Xander beamed and hugged him then went to bounce around outside with his pet.  "Technically Dean and Sammy have custody of him," John told him.  "Adam had access to his funds so we're using it to support him and make sure he's safe.  He's got a good hand with weapons too."

"That's probably going to save him a few times," Bobby said.  This was very strange, even for a Winchester.  John smirked slightly.  He shrugged.  He'd get used to the boy.  He gave him a shoulder nudge.  "Check on the boy.  I can't hear him."

"He's out behind the barn," Dean said from the window.  He opened it.  "Not too far out of sight, Xander."

"Yes, Dean."  He and the monkey/dog came out to play in plain sight again.

Sam stood up.  "That's not Xander."

"How do you know?" John asked.

"That's not the right pet either," Sam said.  He ran out to the construct.  It faded out and took him with him.  He found Xander, only an older one, facing off with a demon.  "Xander?"

"Huh?"  He glanced at him.  "Do I know you?"

"I'm Sam.  We've been protecting you for a week, since you were cursed."

"I was born cursed."  He snarled and lunged at the demon, killing it brutally.   Then he dropped the sword.  "I do not like this shit."

"Me either," Sam said, carefully moving closer.  The pet chattered at him.  He let it sniff him and it let him closer.  Xander gave him a confused look.  "You were cursed to deage, Xander.  You're about seven or eight."

"Oh.  That's gotta suck."  Sam smiled, nodding a bit.  "Huh.  We've got to find my other parts."

"Other parts?"

"Bright boy there tried to bind me and split me a bit.  We need to find them."  That got a nod and Sam picked up the sword.  Xander took it back.  "No offense but I don't want people at my back with weapons."

"Not a problem.  I've got my own," he promised.  "I'm not going to hurt you.  Adam told us to watch out for you."  Xander grinned at that.  They found a room with three Xander's.  A shy Xander.  A very princessly Xander.  And a little boy Xander.  The pet ran over to crawl on that one.  "How do we get you back together?"

"We think we only have to touch," princessly Xander said, tossing his long braid back over his shoulder before standing up.  He walked over to touch the warrior Xander and they merged.  The shy one got grabbed and he merged.  They looked at the child Xander and he sniffled.

"Hey, no, it'll be okay," Sam promised.  "I won't let you be hurt, Xander.  I've been protecting you.  You know that."  He nodded and came to get a hug.  Then he merged with himself.  He was older now.  Early pubescent.  Nearly ten.  He looked at the boy.  "You okay?"

"It ate some of the curse, not all of it," he said quietly.  He looked around.  "I have no idea how to get back."

"I do."  He winked and they found the exit, heading down.  They landed in....  Detroit it looked like.  "Huh."  He called Dean's phone.  "We're good.  We're in Detroit I think."  He hung up and looked at the boy, who shrugged.  "Huh."  The DPP detective appeared beside them, giving them a confused look.  "Someone who wanted him enough to screw up binding him by splitting him into parts."

"We saw the mess."  He took Xander and Sam back to where the others were.  Bobby gave them a startled look.  "Detroit."  He disappeared, shaking his head.

"What do I know," Xander muttered.

"It's been a year," Dean said dryly.

"Shit," Xander muttered.  John swatted him.  "Hey!  That deserved swearing!" he pouted.  He looked at Sam, then at Dean.  "The demon tried to bind me and split me into parts."

"Like arms and legs?"

"Like his warrior side, like his princess side.  A shy side.  A child side," Sam explained.

The DPP officer reappeared with something.  "You defeated the one who ruled," he said in a common demon tongue.  Xander knew it.  He had in his last life.  "You now rule in his stead."

"I don't want to rule anything," Xander complained.  "Why would I want to?"

"Then name an heir."  He handed the box to Sam.  "You were appointed regent in his place."  He smirked and pointed at where a trunk appeared.  "His."  He disappeared.

Xander sighed, sitting down next to Dean to sulk.  "I'm not liking this."

"Us either," Dean told him.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine.  I beat the mean demon then killed it.  I guess it took longer to get out than we thought."

John stared at him.  "How did you beat it?"

"It was wearing a sword.  The warrior part of me took the sword and did a good Conan impression until Sam showed up."

"Okay, that happened within minutes," Dean said.  "Then what?"

"He beat the demon.  We went to gather the other parts of himself.  That's when we found him aged some.  It took a while to find the exit so that's probably what took the extra year."

They all nodded at that.  "Trunk?" Bobby asked finally.  John went to check it over.  And the box too.  Inside was a pretty coronet.  Black metal with black and blue stones.  Bobby whistled at the sight of it.  "That's pretty."

"I still don't want a realm.  I'd be a sucky ruler.  Maybe he had kids?"

"He went after a kid to own him, Xander.  I doubt he had his own," Dean said.

"Well, he was talking about me carrying a worthy heir for him.  I didn't know boys could do that.  I've never seen a pregnant boy."

"And you won't outside a wish demon or a witch's curse," Bobby assured him.

"Oh."  He slumped down again, scowling some.  "Bobby, can I shower?"

"Sure, kid.  Go ahead."  He went to do that.  They went back to the trunk.  He had a lot of fancy clothes but nothing that was low brow enough for church going.  A lot of silks, satins, and velvets.  Some leather.  "Jim would not approve," he said dryly.

"No, neither would we," John said.  They shared a look.  "Dean?"

"Going," he agreed, going to get Xander some clothes.  Sam could shower and use his old clothes.  Xander had clearly grown a lot.

Xander came out in a towel and sat between the two older guys.  "Who would give a kid my age leather pants?"

"Someone sick who needed destroyed anyway," John told him.  "Dean's getting you clothes."

"I heard you tell him to go."  He gave him a hug around the arm. "I'm sorry I'm such a  pain."

"You're not, kiddo.  You need the protection and we'll gladly do it for you."  Xander grinned and dug into the trunk.  He'd never tell the kid how they had searched for them or taken out a few demon enclaves to get them back.  The kid didn't need that on his soul.  He came up with a wrist cuff.  He looked at his own.  "Um, my weeding bracelet is gone, Sam."

"Shit."  It appeared at his feet.  "That's helpful.  Thank you, Vesvold."  He tossed it over.  Xander stuck it on.  He looked at the cuff.  "Not until it can be checked for magic."

"Yes, Sam."  He put it back.  He pulled out a long robe.  "Can I wear it for now?"  They nodded so he put it on.  "Did I miss the convention?"

"You did but they understood and Adam heard where you were.  He called that night.  That's why we didn't panic and start ripping demon realms," John said, patting him on the back.  They had tried but Adam said to take out the frustration and they'd work on getting them back for him.  "You look good in black silk, kiddo."  Xander grinned at that.  Dean came back and Xander went to change in the bathroom.  "Any problems?"

"No.  I called Adam to tell him he's back.  He had heard but he was happy he was back and wanted to see him soon."

"We can swing that way," John agreed.  He handed it to Bobby.  "Give it to a church or something."  He stood up and put the coronet on top of it.  "Sammy, as regent you probably have to find someone to take that."

"Hey, Vesvold, want the crown?" he called.  The demon appeared outside the devil's trap. "Xander said he didn't want it."

"Being royal would suck.  I'd have to have more manners."

Vesvold smiled and took them with him. "They'll be waiting on him.  I know someone who can administrate for him."

"Until he has an heir?" Bobby snorted.

Vesvold sighed and looked at Sam.  "He is as you will be," he said quietly.  Then they disappeared.

Sam came back a minute later with a sandwich he was eating.  "Strange something I found out.  No, he probably won't have heirs unless someone fiddles with cloning or something."   He ate another bite and let Dean snatch it while he chewed.  "Longer than average story and one we need to have alone, Dean."  He looked at his father.  "Where's the Cleveland hellmouth?"

John stared at him then sighed.  "We figured they switched you but we didn't care," he said quietly.  "Ours died, Sam."

Sam nodded.  "I've heard that recently."  He gave him a small smirk.  "It's fine.  We'll talk in private."

"Hold on, this isn't Sam?" Dean demanded.

"No, he is.  Just...."

"Mom's baby was born stillborn," Sam said quietly.  "The hospital had one that had been abandoned.  Someone thought it would be kinder."  Dean gave him a flummoxed look.  Like someone had hit him in the head with a shovel again.  "It leads back to something that'll happen later on in life.  Then I'll really need training."

Bobby stood up.  "You know about them?" he asked.

Sam smirked.  "Yeah, I've met one who told me."  That got a nod.  He pointed at the bathroom and nodded.  "Him too."

"That's a good reason to train him," he agreed.

"I'm lost," Dean said.  John drew them outside to talk to them.  This needed to be cleared up.  Dean was shocked but he could deal with this revelation.  He looked at his father, who shrugged a bit.  "When did you find out?"

"About two weeks later when a social worker showed up being suspicious.  Mary gushed and we pretended we had no idea.  To us, he's always been our son.   Your mom agreed with me when we figured it out."

Dean slumped, nodding a bit.  "If it doesn't bother Sammy then I'm good."

"Not much you could do to change it anyway," Sam teased.  "Beyond that, with the new knowledge I found out, there's something amazing coming."

John looked at him.  "Amazing how?"  Sam leaned over to whisper it in his ear.  He moaned.  "You're sure?"

"Yup.  Adam was sure."

"Ah."  He looked at Dean.  "If you think he dies, don't do anything like bury him or hand him over."

"Why?" he asked, looking confused.  Sam whispered it in his ear, getting a moan as well.  "Sure, I won't do that."  He looked over as Xander peeked outside.  "We're good, Xander. Just talking about some older family stuff."

"Where did the trunk go?"

"Vesvold.  He'll appoint someone to rule in your place too."

Xander looked up.  "Thank you, Vessie!  I adore you for that!  I'd be mean to them!"  He hugged Dean.  "Thank you for getting me undies that fit."  He grinned at John.  "Can we really go see Adam?"

"We can really go see Adam," he promised.  Xander beamed and bounced out to see if Bobby had anything he could get in trouble with.  "We're stepping up his training," he ordered.  They nodded, going to start on that with him since he was so bouncy at the moment.  Sam made sure his bracelet was on so that was fine.

***

Adam found Xander at the door when someone extremely unkind decided to get him up before ten.  "Xander," he said, pulling him in to hug him.  "They let you out alone?"

"A demon attacked so Sam told me to come ahead after putting me in a cab."  He snuggled in.  "How do you get rid of a realm someone decided was yours because you killed the demon?"

"I have no idea," he admitted, taking him to the couch to cuddle and talk to him.  Ray had the day off so he stumbled out and into the kitchen in search of coffee.  Xander squealed and went to pounce him, making Ray wake up enough to grin and cuddle him.  "They sent him ahead since they were attacked."

"I'll make extra coffee."  He smirked at Xander.  "Wanna help?"

"Sure."  They puttered in the kitchen to make breakfast and brought it out to eat on the couch.  Sam showed up an hour later messy but okay.  "Are they okay?"

"They're fine, Xander."  He kissed him on the head. "It'll be okay."  He looked at himself.  "Let us check into somewhere then we'll come back to chat?"  That got a nod.  "Thanks, dude."  He headed off to check them into the usual hotel.  They were very discreet.  The manager gave him an odd look.  "We were attacked by people who wanted me and my brother.  We're GHS," he said quietly.  "Only light scrapes this time."

"Of course.  How many in your party?"

"Us three and Xander, who's ten and a level ten."

The manager gaped.  "I remember him on his last trip."  He got them booked into a nice room and sent them up there.  He also sent up a complimentary first aid kit.  Usually he'd send a fruit basket but these ones clearly needed that more.  He made a note in the system about them being GHS.  That would start better security precautions around them without them noticing.  They headed out an hour later, going to visit their local friend.  Must be the national head since he was local and the young one had such an unusual break out in skills.

***

Adam and John sat quietly alone later that night.  "How are we doing with him?" John asked finally.

"As far as I can tell you're done fine.  He's happy, a bit bouncy but that's normal for Xander, and he's content.  That's very important.  He's learning self defense, which is always an excellent choice.  He knows about demons since he draws them just as often as he does humans."

"Wish I could salt and burn them sometimes," he admitted.

"The rich and powerful will always want one of us.  We're a status symbol even now.  Having a concubine is still highly thought of as a way to attest to your wealth and status.  That's why the major players that steal us are in Asia and the Middle East, where flaunting your power is a way of life."

"Many disappear this year?"

Adam sipped his beer.  "Six total in the last two years."  He took another drink.  "We rescued four of them.  I'm very proud of our retrieval team."  He smirked.  "None were taken by the demonic.  Only those touched by it usually get taken by it.  Xander's an extreme case.  As are your boys."

"Sam told me that he knows," he said quietly.

Adam nodded.  "It's important in your line of work to not die anyway."

"I know."  He looked into the bedroom where Xander was crashed with Ray for a nap then at him.  "I'm trying really hard not to touch his money."

"I know."  He smirked.  "He's made more in interest than you've spent on the boy, John.  Trust me, he would not mind.  He's very much a generous soul.  The last time he went shopping he bought more for others than for himself."

"I can see why.  He's getting expensive tastes."

"All GHS members crave the soft, the exotic, and the pleasurable.  Of course he likes silk and leather."  He finished his beer.  "Even if he does have to fight."  A flash of light happened and a voice he had much missed whispered in his ear.  "We can?"  The mouth nibbled on his ear, getting a moan.  "I'll recommend that when he's older.  He's only ten."  He looked at him then at John.  "This is Strife, God of Mischief.  The one Xander got offered to."

"All level tens are part mine anyway," he said with a grin and a wink.  "There's a unique self defense style that could help him.  He'd have ta leave the plane to find it though.  You mind?"

"I might."

"He can take the boys.  Might be better anyway.  Plus he'd learn how to manage intrigue and power players better than screaming and pouting."

"He's only ten, Lord Strife."

Strife nodded. "There's that too.  It'll make him more flexible and give your boys a new style too.  Sword work that incorporates dance moves.  He'll probably be pretty good and it'll help with the bounciness."

John considered it.  "If he wants to go, next year, after the convention."  That got a nod.  "Lord Strife, is there a way to protect him more?"

"Yeah, but he'd have ta dedicate himself."  He winked and disappeared with a stroke over Methos' hair.

"I knew him better in my youth."

"All children swear allegiance to at least one chaos god for a while," John said dryly.

Methos snickered.  "Yes, they do.  All mine did."  John gave him a happy look.  "I married their mothers.  Sam told you correctly."  John slumped again.  "Are you sure you want to wait that long to send him?"

"He needs to get over his current growth spurt and we still have a demon to track down.  So far it's the only one who hasn't come to proposition Xander."

"Are you sure about that?" he asked.  John choked.  "He did try to talk him to his side.  Xander admitted as much.  The boys were getting something at a rest stop.  Xander snorted and told him he'd seen more evil girls his age."  John smirked, shaking his head.  "He does know and does want him."

"We'll have to see what we're doing then," John decided.  Adam nodded at that.  "Can you teach Sammy?"

"He's asked me to recommend a decent teacher for him to start with.  I don't do well with newbies and he'll need to do more than hack and slash to stay alive in our world.  After that, if he should ask it of me, I'd test him and see if I could teach him anything."

"Thank you."

"As I'll someday do for Xander."

John nodded at that.  "We're trying."

"I know.  You'll do what you can and then we'll finish it up.  Xander may end up buying something on holy ground to protect himself and those with him.  I have no idea."

John nodded. "I'll suggest that to him when he's older.  Would it help with the other demons?"

"Probably not.  Most of them aren't evil.  They just ...are."

"Then I'll suggest it."  Xander came out rubbing his eyes.  "Ready to head back to the hotel?"

"Sure."  He gave Adam a hug.  "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow go sightseeing.  I have to help Ray with something.  I'll see you at a decent hour the day after."

Xander blushed.  "I'm sorry I got you up."

"It was ten," John said.  "It was an assumption he'd be up by then."

"Not usually," Adam admitted.  "The joys of being wealthy and working from home."  That got a nod and he gathered Xander up after another hug.  He let them out, locking the door behind him.  He turned to find Strife and Ares both there.  "Problems?"

"One of our anchors," Ares said dryly.

"Ah.  So the trip...."

"He'll get that too."

Adam nodded.  "That's fine.  Talk to his new family all you want.  John wasn't disturbed by Strife."

"Sam might be," Strife admitted.  "That freakin' demon has a slight claim on him."

"Would coming over negate that?" Adam asked.

"No.  The demon won't be able to claim him without a trial."  He shifted his stance.  "The boy has to go."

"John said next year."

"That's a good time for it," Ares decided.  "It'll be a long trip there but not here."

"Agreed.  That can happen in the realms."

They nodded.  "Teach him an anchor's job, Methos," Ares ordered.  "It'll help him be monitored by Cupid and Strife.  Possibly keep down the problems as well.  Make sure they're teaching him Greek and Latin as well."  They disappeared.

"As you command," Methos said dryly, finishing his second beer before going in to lay with his boy.  He did love his Ray.  He'd miss him horribly when he died.

***

Xander found Pastor Jim in his church.  "Vesvold has a closet full of tasteless gifts we should go through for donation," he told him.  Jim jumped, staring at him.  "Hi."

"Xander."  He gave him a hug.  "You've grown a lot."

"Being out of time warped the curse a bit," Dean said as he walked in.

"Can we get into the closet Vesvold is holding stuff in to give it to Pastor Jim's church for charity?  I don't need leather pants."

"I don't know any who would either," Jim told him.  The boy shrugged a bit and went back to hugging.  "Off playing today?"

"Yup.  Adam's busy.  They were talking about me taking another trip to learn something else next year too.  John said I needed to learn Latin and Greek.  Adam said so."

"Of course," he said, taking the boy to the front of the church to work on it with Dean.  The boy caught on well.  It was clearly stirring old memories.  He switched to another one and Xander beamed, understanding that one too.  A glowing ball appeared and floated in front of Xander.  He looked at Dean, who checked it with a touch first, then nodded.  Xander touched it and it flashed, giving him some of his old memories.  Xander blinked away the spots the light had left in his eyes, then asked Jim a question in more detailed Latin.  Jim laughed and answered back.   By the time John and Sam joined them Xander was babbling in a few languages.  Jim smiled.  "Someone gave him back some of his old memories."

"That's good.  Of what?"

"Languages.  He said he learned it to do demonic research before."

"That's a good way to do it," Sam said, patting Xander on the head with a grin.  "We talked with someone about this trip they want you to go on for training and it sounds pretty cool.  We three can go and have a long vacation even though it'll only be a little bit here."

"We are?" Dean asked dryly.

"To teach him a style of self-defense that works better with how he moves," John told him.  "Then possibly to a temple devoted to Ares to learn some there."

Dean nodded slowly.  "So a training road trip."

"In another plane," Sam added.  "No cars."

"My car," he whined.

"We can bring the weapons and garage her with Bobby," John told him.  "She'll be safe, Dean."  Dean slumped but nodded.  "I'm told this defense style is unlike anything we have around here.  Meant to be done by flexible people with high hormones since it's supposed to be a bit...enticing."

"With swords," Sam added with a grin.

"Erotic with swords," Dean said, then he shuddered.  "I'm not sure I wanna get hot with swords, Sammy."

"Then who'll watch us when Sam and I learn?" Xander asked.  He gave him the best begging look he could.  Even with puppy eyes.  Dean caved.  He had to.  Not even Sammy had puppy eyes that strong.  Xander turned them on John with a hint of a lip twitch.  "Ice cream for lunch?"

John groaned, turning around.  "After lunch.  Jim, coming?  We'll hit that buffet place like the last time we were in town."  Xander whooped and ran for the car.

"He's an exceptional little boy," Jim told him.

"He talked two cops out of giving me a speeding ticket," Dean said happily.  "Totally made them pout for pulling me over."  He went to let Xander into the car.  Sam followed snickering.

John and Jim shared a look.  "He's going too evil with that pout," Jim warned.

"Sam got him for it," he assured him.  "Swatted him once the officers went to sulk at the station."  Jim cackled, closing up for the lunch hour so they could watch Xander and Dean inhale most of the food at the buffet place.

***

A few months later, Dean had to be stopped from going off the deep end.  "Remember, he'll come back," Xander said, stopping Dean from going to kill the other guy.  "Get Sam so we can protect him!  I'll get the evil thing."  Dean went to help Sam while the guy who stabbed him ran for the woods.  Xander faced the demon, staring at it.  "You're so toast."

"You could join me, Xander.  We could rule the world together.  Everything you wanted could be yours.  Including being normal again."

He snorted.  "Who said I want to be normal?"

"I could make those nasty hormones go away permanently."

"So?"  He shifted his stance.  "Who says I don't like the awe-inspiring worship some demons give me?"  He took off his bracelet and let it drop into the dirt.  Adam had told him a few things about protecting himself.  "You're so low you can't even suck a dog's cock," he said in Greek.  The demon sneered.  "You also don't read people very well.  You have no idea who I am."

"I do know who you were."

"I've seen flashes. Apparently I was boring."  He pushed his hair back off his face, willing his hormones to rise again.  He only had to trap it long enough for John to get there with the colt.  "Really.  All those girls who didn't appreciate me.  Slaying demons.  Dating demons from the flashes I've gotten.  A poor existence doing the right thing for no benefit?  If I wanted to do that, I could do it now, can't I?"  He smirked, moving closer. "By the way, you do know that you just signed a huge ass death warrant by having him killed?  There's no stopping the family now."  Sam gasped and sat up coughing.  The demon gave him a horrified look and shot power at Sam.  Xander tackled him but Sam was back out.  "He'll be fine," Xander called.  "Remember, unless his head goes bye-bye..."

"I know."  John came running with the colt.  "Xander, get off him!"

Xander quit holding the demon down and sneered.  "You can't even imagine as high as I'm worth, demon slug.  You're nothing to anyone.  Even the Ancient Ones don't know you and they know most of the threats.  Says a lot to me."  John shot the demon but only managed to graze it.  Xander attacked again and this time he felt his hormones spike.  The demon moaned and tried to grab him by the hair.  "Hair yankers suck!" he said hotly, kicking him in the nuts.  "And they should beg."  Dean got him out of the way and John took a better shot, one he had time to aim this time.  The demon died with a scream.  Xander spit on the spot.  "Insignificant little pissant."

He got free of Dean and went to check on Sam.  He liked all the Winchesters but Sam tried really hard to like him back.  "Sam, what did he do?" he complained.  "Your head's still on.  You've got to come back sometime soon."  He called Adam.  "How long should it take for Sam to come back the second time if he died, came back, and then the demon shot power at him?"  He checked his neck.  "No, not even a bit of bruising, Adam."  He smiled.  "Thank you."  He hung up.  "He said if the demon was trying to damage his brain or spinal cord it'll take the most time and it'll be about a day.  We have to get him cleaned up.  It'll help the nastiness."

Dean nodded, coming over to pick Sam up.  His father helped and Xander went ahead to get the doors to the Impala open.  They put him in the backseat and headed for the motel.  Xander rode in the truck this time.  John shot a glance at him.  "That was really stupid, Xander."

"It was not.  You needed time to get there with the colt.  Besides, it was the truth. I asked the last one who had me and Sam asked the one that took us both last time.  They never heard of him.  That makes him a gnat to them."

"Still stupid.  Where's your bracelet?"

"Ummm...."  He winced.  "I'll get it."  He concentrated and it flew in the open window of the truck.  "See?" he asked proudly.

"Are we practicing the craft?"

"No," he said with a small pout.  "Just enough to get myself undone from handcuffs and to summon keys."

"That's a good use for you.  You're too young."

"He tried to tempt me by saying he knew who I used to be or that he could bring my hormones down to a normal level permanently."

"And you said what?"

"Who wants to be normal?  If I wanted to go back to being a poor demon hunter I could do that."

John shot him a look.  "It's about honor, kid."

"I know that.  He'd never understand it.  I even mentioned that would mean I'd have to give up the worship a few of the demons seem to think I deserve.  It made him pissed."

"That's a good way to distract," John sighed.  He was still wondering if the kid felt like that all the time.

Xander poked him on the arm.  "There's more important things than money.  I know that.  Do you know how many of the demons have told Sam I used to be a White Knight?"

John smirked. "Good.  Let's hope you don't lose that this go-round."

"Me too."  They found where Dean had gotten them rooms, heading in to help him with Sam.  He had Sam in the tub.  "Let me."  Dean glared.  "I'm better at bath stuff than you are."

"I used to give him his baths, Xander."

"Now you're pissed and it's not helping.  Go be pissed outside and yell and scream at God."  Dean stomped off.  "I wouldn't want to wake up to that temper either," he told Sam.  He got the water temperature adjusted and got to work cleaning Sam's body up.  He'd hate to wake up feeling that nasty.  John went to set the wards on the room.  He could just barely hear Dean out back ranting at God.  When he was done he used the shower to do a final rinse while he let out the old water.  Then he ran new warm water and left the curtain closed.  He came out wiping off his hands.  "He's clean and I left him with clean, warm water."

"That's good.  How long did Adam say?"

"Maybe as long as a day since it happened right after the other and he looked like he was aiming to take out major organs.  Regrowing anything major takes longer."

"We can wait that long," John said, staring at him.

"You can go yell too.  I know Sam's your son and I'll watch him."  John smiled, going to comfort Dean and do his own ranting.  Xander sat in the doorway of the bathroom, watching Sam's still body.  "You know, this is not how today was supposed to go," he told him.  "It's supposed to be a happy day since the demon's gone."

Dean stomped in.  "He back yet?"

"Not yet.  Adam said it might take up to a day if he had to regrow anything too huge, like a major organ or his spine."

Dean swallowed.  "The light hit his chest."

"It probably only did some organ damage, Dean."  Dean nodded, sitting down next to him to stare at the body too.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine.  I wasn't in danger."

"You couldn't have stopped him.  He snatched Sam from a restaurant while you were in the car.  You had no way of knowing about it."  John stomped in.  "He'll be fine.  He woke up the first time."

"I know.  I talked to Bobby.  He heard word that the Sunnydale PD is looking for you because your friend accused you of rape."

Xander snorted.  "Yeah, right.  Not in this body and I doubt that was ever my thing."  He stared at him.  "Can we fix this?"

"I don't know how," he admitted.

"Well, I clearly can't and I wasn't in town."

"Good point."  John called him back.  He had a contact in town that could pass on the information that Xander had been traveling with them for over a year.  He wasn't there when it happened.  Bobby had passed that back so they'd have to see.  He came back calmer.   "We'll figure it out, kiddo."

"Why would she accuse him of it?" Dean asked.

"Because I wasn't there," Xander said, looking at him. "Right?"  John nodded.  "Would I have been there?"

"Frat house."

"I don't like drinking."  He got up and got some change from his bag to get them some sodas.  Then he came back to sit and wait.  There was nothing else to do today but wait.  Dean reached over and put the bracelet back on him then smacked him on the side of the head.  "It helped."

"Yay.  Still dangerous for you," Dean said, staring at him.  "You're still only ten."

"Yay me.  I kept his attention so he couldn't flee to the big problem area he was going for later."  John stared at him.  "Some big devil's gate thingy?  In South Dakota?  Ask Bobby, he knows."

"I can do that."  He called him back.  "We got the demon," he said quietly.  "What big devil's gate thingy was Xander talking about?"  He nodded once.  "That's a problem.  Who's going?"  He grimaced.  "I can meet you there.  Sammy's going to wake up sometime soon or I'll be back by tomorrow at noon."  He hung up and stood up.  "They're gathering to open a devil's gate."

"Go.  We've got to stop that.  I'll be with Sammy."  John nodded, gathering weapons from their stashes to head out.  Dean looked at Xander.  "You okay?"

"I'll be fine.  I only taunted.  We're buddies and I know he'll wake up.  You're his brother."

"I know."  Xander gave him a hug.  "Thanks, kiddo."  He went back to watching the lifeless body heal.

***

John got back at one the next day.  Sam was still out.  He slumped.

"He's almost gotten it once," Dean said quietly.

"Zap the water?" Xander suggested.  "Like the shocky pads they use for heart attacks?"

"Don't tempt me, I'll hook him up to the car battery," Dean said dryly.  "Sammy, you have one more hour or I'm going to make a deal to get your stupid ass back."  Xander plugged in something small and tossed it onto Sam's chest, making him scream in pain but come alive as Xander unplugged it.  "Xander!" Dean growled.

"It worked."

"Still not cool."

"I don't think I've ever been cool," Xander said flatly, giving him a look.  "I probably never will be."

"Not that meaning of the word," Dean shot back.

"Guys, headache, stop it," Sam growled.

"Did you come back evil?" John asked.

Sam glared at him.  "Don't you wish."  He looked at Xander.  "You did the right thing in a sucky way.  Dean's just worried.  He gets like that sometimes about me."  He got out and dried himself off, looking down at himself.  The slight burn was already healing.  "That's pretty damn handy," he decided.  Dean handed him the clothes he had pulled out yesterday.  "Thanks."  He grinned.  "So, I'm back."  His family smirked and patted him on the shoulder.  He looked at Xander, winking.  "This makes it easier for our upcoming road trip."

"You still want to go with me?"

"Of course."  He patted the ten-year-old's head.  "You did good keeping them from freaking out."  Xander beamed at that.  "Any food, I'm starving."

"Xander ordered a pizza earlier," Dean said with a point.

"You're always hungry when you get hurt," Xander reminded him.

"That's true.  It's the body taking some of itself to heal you."  He grabbed the pizza box and sat down next to Xander to eat it.  Xander beamed at him for that.  He could still read the uneasiness in his eyes though.  "Relax, kiddo.  I'm still Sam.  Just a slightly less destructible version."  Xander nodded, resting against his arm.  He looked at his father.  "It all done with?"

"The demon died.  Xander distracted him long enough for Dad to get there with the colt," Dean said.  Sam nodded, eating another bite, offering Xander a piece of pepperoni.  "So, this coming back, any problems?"

"No.  I'm guessing it took so long because I'm so young and whatever he threw at me was seriously powerful.  Relax, guys.  Only my head coming off kills me now."  They nodded, settling in to watch him.  At least Xander was just worried about him being mad about something.  "I'm not Lazarus, quit staring," he said between bites ten minutes later.

"It's just so unusual," John said quietly.

Sam nodded.  "To me too.  I freaked out when I died.  I wasn't sure that would qualify for a violent death since it took one to come over."  He finished that slice and put the box on the table after offering the last two pieces to his side cuddler.  Xander shook his head and went back to cuddling him.  Sam smiled at him, petting him until he took a nap.  "He been nagged or was he taking care of you two?"

"I had to help close a devil's gate that the demon had been trying to open," John admitted quietly.

"He's been doing the quiet fussing.  I'd reach for something and it'd be there already," Dean admitted.  "He's probably exhausted."  He activated all the demon pets, letting them cuddle up with the boy.  They didn't seem to mind Sam but they knew not to let demons near the boy so that meant Sammy truly wasn't demonic.

Sam looked up from watching Xander sleep.  "Do we need to do this the way Bobby does?"  John tossed over a vial of holy water and he drank it with a sigh.  "There, better?"  They both smirked and nodded.  "Thank you!  Now, quit staring!"  He went back to soothing Xander.  "We'll handle it better when it's your turn," he whispered.  He stood up and carried the boy to the couch, tucking him into his unused bed.  The pets checked their masters then curled around Xander to protect him while he napped.

"We're sure he'll go over?" Dean asked quietly.

"Yeah," he said, sounding a bit sad.  "Probably within a few years if he doesn't learn better self defense."  He looked at him.  "Let's hope he's not castrated by then.  It'll suck for eternity since they'll only grow back after he comes across."

John sighed.  "How are you taking this so well?"

"I had over a year to get used to it," he said with a small shrug.  "I actually thought about it, made plans, all that stuff.  Helping Xander learn how to defend himself will help me learn how to defend myself better."  He looked at Dean.  "If and when you finally spawn, I'll be watching over them for you."

Dean grinned.  "Good to know but you can't turn them all girl like or make them super brains unless they're already tainted."

"I won't," he sighed, sitting down again.  "I should call Adam."

"We did when you went out the second time," Dean admitted.  He looked at his father. "Xander's really worried you're still pissed that he distracted the demon that way."

"I'm not.  It was foolish but he was trying to help.  It was the only way he knew how.  The fact he taunted the demon means he needs to spend more time with normal guys instead of you two."  They both smirked at him.  "He taunted that the higher ups didn't know that one's name or that he existed, therefore he was weak and without the ability to climb higher."  He shrugged a bit.  "Sammy, you feel all right?"

"I'm fine.  A bit backed up."

"We can go celebrate you finally coming back," Dean teased with a smirk.

"Someone's got to watch Xander," Sam told him.

"Dad can."

"I'm old enough to watch myself," Xander said quietly.

Sam looked at him.  "That's dangerous and you know it."

"So?"  He looked at him.  "I'll be fine.  It's always dangerous and the pets will protect me.  Leave me a gun in case something comes."  He grinned.  "You should go celebrate the happies."

Sam leaned down to hug him.  "Are you sure?"  Xander nodded.  "Okay. But we're leaving you my cellphone so you can get us instantly."  He put it down and Xander handed him something.  "I don't need an allowance, Xander.  We have some cash of our own from the same guys who like you."  He tweaked him on the ear.  "We won't do what?"

"Answer the door, let anyone in, talk to any strange demons, or humans, or leave the room for soda."

"Good," Dean agreed, grinning at him. "Want us to bring you back a candy bar?"

"If you want."

"I can do that."  Xander smiled and nodded.  "You rest.  You were up waiting with me."  He tucked him in better, looking at the pets.  "He'd better be here and safe when we get back."  They chattered and clung more tightly to Xander.  He winked at the boy.  "Pretty soon you can go celebrate with us."  Xander grinned back and they left to have some Winchester family fun in the bar.  Which meant a bar brawl after some pool and Dean picking up some women probably.

Xander tried to go back to sleep but it was loud outside.  He finally got up and looked in the pizza box but he had gotten that for Sam so it wasn't right.  He looked in the wallet he had in John's stuff.  He had plenty of money in it.  He found a motel envelope and the local chinese place was still open.  He decided to order a good feast for them when they got back.  Drunks always needed to eat afterward, right?  He put the money in an envelope and taped it to the door.  He had even remembered a tip and to order a few sodas.  He was proud of himself.  So when someone knocked he looked out the spyhole by standing on the chair he had pulled over.  "Delivery?"  The man nodded.  "Money's in the envelope."  The guy took it off the door and checked it then put the bags down.  "Thank you."  The guy left and Xander waited until he saw the car pull out to open the door.  He nearly jumped when he found Vesvold beside the door.  "Hi, Vessie."  He hauled the food inside with some help.  "Why are you down here?"

"Because you're too young to be alone, even if you did give them the go-ahead," he said dryly.  He petted the creatures he had created and sat down to eat with the boy.  When someone pounded he sighed.  Xander grabbed the phone.  "It's the police, Xander."  He went to answer the door.  "Yes, gentlemen?  Can I help you?"  They came in and stared at him.  "I'm his guardian while his real guardians are out celebrating something."

"We had reports they left a child alone in this room."

"I'm not a child," Xander said dryly.  "No, Herp, don't sniff the officer," he told Dean's pet.  It ran back over to cuddle up next to him under the table.  The officer gave him an odd look.  "What?  I'm allowed to have pets and it's very protective of me.  Vessie gave them to me."  He ate another bite of food.  The officer scowled at Vesvold.

"It is to protect him."  He smiled at the curious person.  "I was a bit late coming to sit with him while his family's out celebrating Samuel getting better."  The manager looked at the food then at him.  "That's what he wanted and paid for out of his trust.  I assure you, the boy's more than capable of handling an hour while I was running late.  He's nearly eleven.  Not prone to playing with weapons either."

"I do know gun safety," Xander agreed.  "And lighter safety."  He ate another bite and smiled at the officer.  "Want some or do you need to keep staring at my underage ass?"  The office flinched at that.  His partner gave him an odd look.  "It's not fully his fault."

"Yes, it is," Vesvold said.  "Even if you were broadcasting, he's an adult and in control of himself, Xander," he corrected firmly.  Xander sighed but slumped down and went back to eating.  "Now, is there anything else, Officers?"  They shook their heads and left.  He looked at the manager.  "He's not two."

"Things like that get a bad reputation on a motel," he sneered back.

"Unlike the drug dealers six rooms up, we're not going to cause any problems."  The manager huffed off.  He closed the door then recalled the pet that had tried to follow the threat.  He called an anonymous tip to the state police's tip line about that one officer through his secretary and settled in to be with Xander until he was really tired again.  The boy was on edge and letting him talk about how bad this felt to be guarded by people who didn't really understand or like him a whole lot would help him deal with it.  Sam loved him and Xander knew that.  Sam saw him as a son they had adopted.  Dean did too some of the time but the recent strain had made that be pushed away for his brother.  Which he explained to the boy.

The boy had never gotten people before so he wouldn't expect him to now.  John's more aloof attitude had bothered him but he was doing his best to do as asked - protect the boy from those who would take him.  He didn't know why he couldn't see that Xander needed a *father* instead of a protector.  Maybe he was bad at people things too.  He'd explain it to him tomorrow by stranding his truck somewhere.  He tucked Xander back in and settled in to read the proposals he had been left for the Council.  Dean and Sam got back first, laughing and joking.  "He's fine."

"Someone turn him in?" Dean demanded.

"Indeed, but the officer who stared too long at the boy got his name passed on."  He rolled up the last scroll.  "He's finally asleep and he said to finish off the food, boys."  He stood up and packed everything back up, petting the boy and the pets on the head.  "Good boy.  You rest, Xander."  He let the boy fall deeper into sleep, smiling at Sam.  "Congratulations, but miss the next two towns.  A hunter prowls that area.  You dying for good would destroy the boy since he does look up to you."  He disappeared, taking his own carton of food with him.

Dean looked at the large stack of boxes.  "How did he order that?"

"The manager said he stuck an envelope with money on the door and had the delivery guy leave it outside.  He waited until he left then came out to get it.  That's when he found Vesvold waiting," John said as he walked in.  He looked at the food.  "Teenager stomach has struck I see."  He sat on his bed.  "You two okay?"

"We're good," Dean promised.  He laid down on his bed.  Sam got the roll away.  Xander was already out on the couch so they'd leave him there.  Dean sat up to finish off some more of the food.  He had worn out some energy with the ladies.  Sam waited until John was out to snag some for himself.  "You okay?" he asked quietly.

Sam nodded.  "I am.  I got over the freaked out part a while back."  He ate a bite and looked.  "Spicy."

"I think he got a bit of everything on the menu," Dean said.  He ate another bite.  He saw Xander shift in his sleep.  "We're back, Xander.  Go back to sleep.  You're safe," he said quietly.  The boy snuffled his pet a few times then went back to sleep.  Dean looked at him.  "So, staying in the passenger's seat?"

"Except for when we three go on that trip, yeah."

Dean smirked.  "Fine.  We'll watch you two get bendy with swords."

"You can too," Sam ordered.  "It'll be good for you to learn another style."  He stuffed his mouth then closed the box and put it into the fridge with the rest.  The mini-fridge in the room only had so much space so they ended up getting some ice for the bathroom sink and the rest of the food.  They'd have it for breakfast.  Sam looked at the two pieces of pizza and sighed.  "Xander," he said, smiling at the boy's back.  "You could have had the last two pieces, buddy.  I wouldn't mind."  He finished them off since Xander clearly decided they were special for him.  He belched then laid down.  "Night, Dean."

"Night, Sammy."  He shut off the lights and laid down to think about things.  Sammy was different now.  He didn't need the same sort of protecting.  He had to figure out where the new boundary lines were drawn since Sammy could protect himself better.  Well, after he got trained he could.  For right now, he was still Sammy, only he was a more invincible Sammy.  Super Sammy without the powers he guessed.  He fell asleep to dream odd thoughts of Sammy as Batman and Wonder Woman for some reason.  The chinese must've been bad.

Sam settled in, ignoring Dean's usual nighttime fussing around before he fell asleep.  His father was already snoring quietly.  He settled in to think about how to ease this for Xander.  Beyond getting him away from the staring people.  The kid wouldn't need that. He burped again but ignored it.  Heartburn would be stopped soon too.  He was nearly asleep when he heard Xander sit up and look around.  Then the boy padded over to curl up with him.  Sam smiled, letting the boy cuddle.  He clearly needed some reassurance tonight.  "Shh, I've got you," he said in his ear.  "You're safe and it's all good."  Xander went limp in his sleep, snuffling into his shoulder for now.  Sam fell asleep holding him.  It was good for both of them.  He'd have to pull something bonehead so Dean would realize he was still Sam, not some strange Sam creature.  So maybe tomorrow he'd trip over his feet or something.

***

John woke up and went into the bathroom, blinking at the sink full of ice and chinese containers.  "Didn't eat it all?" he muttered.  He went to the bathroom and grabbed a few  for breakfast.  He stopped when he saw Sammy and his extra lump.  Xander's bed was empty.  He frowned, then let it clear up.  Sammy had bonded with the kid like he was a new little brother.  Dean too most of the time.  So it was fine if Xander sought them out for nightmares.  He'd had a few last night about Sam dying permanently too.  He sat down to watch the morning news while he ate.  Dean woke up an hour later and went to do the same thing he had, only stopping to take a shower first.  The rest of the food got pulled out to be eaten for breakfast.  "Boys?" John called quietly.  "Time to get up."

Xander flinched then woke up, looking around like he was scared.  He relaxed after a minute, looking at Sam.  "Usually I sneak back when I need one of those.  Sorry."

"If you need help with the nightmares, come to us," Dean ordered.  He looked at the boy.  "Not like we don't have our own."

"I know."  He went to clean himself up.  Sam patted him on the way to take his own shower.  "Hot water's already iffy."

"It happens at most places," he assured him.  "Go eat."  Xander went to eat while they gathered things to head off into the daylight.  Sam came out to get dressed, taking his clothes back into the bathroom.  He looked at his back.  It had a scar.  He thought he had come to terms with this but the sight of the scar made him feel sick.  He pulled on his usual layers of shirts and then his jeans, heading out to eat breakfast too.  "Thanks for ordering, Xander."

"Not a problem," he said quietly.  He handed Dean back the gun he had left for him last night.  "Yours."

"You get yours when you're older," Dean promised with a slight grin.  He had no idea why the kid was upset.  He glanced at Sam, who shrugged a bit.  The pets got put back into statue form and they hauled everything of theirs out to the cars.  Only one box of food remained and John brought it with him for lunch.  They cleaned the room and checked everything then headed out.  Xander had to come running back in to get his wallet.  It had been on the couch with him last night.  Then he left again.  Dean took it to put into his back pocket.  Xander gave him a sheepish look.  "Next time, just use the card, Xander."

"They won't take a card from a kid my age."

"Good point.  You handled it well.  It was a good plan to stay safe."  He grinned back at him.  "Even if you do think we eat like the army."  Xander blushed and ducked his head.  "Better than we could've done this morning, kiddo."  He grinned and Xander gave him a weaker one back.  "You wanna talk about stuff with Sammy?  He can sit back there with you."

"No thanks.  Vessie and I talked last night."

"Sure," Dean decided, heading off into the sunlight.  "Which way, Sammy?"

"Vesvold said to avoid the next two towns.  There's a hunter who'll come after me," he said quietly.

"Good to know."  He called his father.  "Which way?"  He nodded, heading for the highway to go east.  They had to call on Adam to get Xander and Sam on their road trip.  Plus to stop where Xander's stuff was stored to pick up a few things probably.  He doubted Xander could wear an Iron Maiden t-shirt to another realm.  They might think he was strange there.  He turned on the music, thinking about the boy in the backseat.  He didn't look tired but he was nearly asleep today.  Was he getting sick?  He looked at Sam, who was using the mirror to check on the boy.  "Any idea?" he asked quietly.

"No."  He texted his father when he texted he had a flat.  "Dad's got a flat.  He said to text where we end up."  Dean nodded at that.  He glanced back at Xander since he was so quiet.  He was watching the scenery.  "Want to read something?"

"No, I'm kinda tired," he admitted.  He shifted the seat belts and laid down on his bag.  It was a good pillow.  He'd used it before.  His pet activated and came out to cuddle him.

Dean passed past the first two towns, and the next three too before stopping for gas and lunch.  He went into the convenience store for them while Sam pumped gas.  He saw the ice cream display and had an idea.  That was Xander's lunch.  He could be a bit bouncy today.  That and a soda.  Sodas for him and Sammy.  Then their usual out of the deli case.  He paid for it and the gas, then headed back out, nudging Xander's hand on the window.  "Food?"  He handed over the ice cream and soda, getting an amazed look.  "You look like you need it."  He smirked and tossed Sam the bag, taking his soda so he could drink it while he drove them off.  Sam doled out their food and they settled in to eat up more miles of the road.  Xander was nibbling his ice cream.  Literally.  Not taking large bites, licking the spoon, none of it.  "You feel okay, Xander?"

"I'm fine," he said quickly.

"Ice cream bad?" Sam asked.

"No, it's really good.  Thank you, Dean."  He ate another bite.  "I never noticed all the little flavors before."

Sam turned to look at him once he had swallowed.  "Want to talk about it?"  Xander shook his head.  "You can."

"It's nothing.  Just a mood swing."

"Uh-huh," Sam said dryly.  He gave him a look.  "What did you and Vesvold talk about?"

"This and that.  The road trip.  He said I'll like that style a lot.   It's got stories built into it."  He ate another bite and let his monkey/dog eat a bite too.  He drank the melted ice cream off and ate another bite.  "I asked about stuff when I was older.  He told me how to set up a real house if I wasn't going to take anyone up on their offers.  Which I don't think I want to.  I'd make a sucky pet.  I'd talk back and all that."

"You're not a pet, Xander.  You're a boy.  They're wrong to think of you like a pet," Dean told him.  Neither one saw the grimace the boy hid behind his drink of soda.  "Did you pick an area you wanted to settle in?"

"Not yet.  He said I should get a good sized house so I can have bodyguards who'll help protect me.  Plus room so I can get time away from my future keeper or keepers when we needed it.  He suggested a small town or a really large city I could get lost in if I needed to.  A small town would help protect me when someone came to kidnap me.  The in between sizes aren't big enough for me to get lost in and not small enough to protect me by knowing everyone."

"You can use that and a preference of climate to help you decide.  We'll look at maps and the weather site, Xander," Sam offered.  "Though I'm going to be really bored with only Dean to talk to."

"You guys can visit and not even have to protect me."

Sam stared at him.  "I'm not doing this because you need protected, Xander.  Protecting you is just one part of being a big brother to you.  We're more than your protectors."

"You are," he said quietly.

"No, we all are," Sam corrected.  "Even if Dad is a hard ass about things."  He reached back but Xander ducked away from his attempt to comfort him.  "Okay.  You and me, we're talking tonight.  It sounds like you need to and not like Dean'll listen to anything that might have an emotional bag attached."

"Sue me, some of us don't like to deal with those things," Dean complained.  He pulled over and looked at Xander.  "You're our little brother, Xander.  Protecting you is like protecting Sammy to me.  Same thing, different brother."

"But I'm not."

"Yeah, you are."  He stared at the boy.  "Really, you are.  Protecting you had let us learn how to protect ourselves better too, I won't deny that, but I'm not letting you eat messy things in my car because I'm protecting you.  Those I'm only protecting can eat in a diner."  Xander slumped at that.  "Got it?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  Now, finish up before that drips?"  Xander nodded, going back to his ice cream.  He and Sam shared a look before he got back on the road.  He had no idea where the kid got that idea from.  "Did a demon tell you that?" he asked finally.  "Maybe that one shot back while you were taunting it?"

"No."

"Then where did that thought come from?" Sam asked.  Xander shrugged and finished his ice cream, putting the container into the plastic bag Dean had gotten lunch in.  He finished his soda and tossed it in there too.  He laid back down to go back to his thinking, pretending to nap.  They'd never know and they'd be happier without him.  They could be Dean and Sam like they used to be without him.  They were whenever he was taken so he knew they'd be better off.  They were calmer and more relaxed then.  The next time they stopped he managed to spill something on himself and groaned.  Dean pointed at the public bathroom.  Xander headed that way with his bag.  He came back to the car.  "Can I have my wallet so I can get another soda?"  Dean sighed but handed it over.  Xander bounced off to go change and skip out the other exit of the store.  The clerk gave him an odd look so he shrugged.  "They're better off."  He ran off with his bag.  Most places had a train or a bus station.  He could get to Chicago; Ray would help him.  He knew where he worked and lived so that was fine.  Xander found the train station and walked up to the ticket counter.  "I need to get to Chicago please?"

"You're very young," he said.  "Are you going to visit family?"

Xander stared at him and knew the guy thought he was a run away.  "Going from one family unit to another who'd like me more," he said quietly.  Then he turned and lifted up his shirt to show some of the scars on his back.  He put it back down.  "I'm going to family.  I can pay for it."  He put his wallet in the little window.  "I'll even agree to have a sleeper carriage.  I can get stuff from the pharmacy across the street to nibble on."

The guy stared at him.  Those scars had been horrible.  "Why can't you call someone to deal with it?  They'd send you there."

"With a stopover in some stranger's house," he said bluntly.  "I'm twelve, not four.  I can handle a train trip on my own," he lied.  The guy finally decided it was a good idea and got him the ticket.  "Thank you.  When does it leave?"

"Four hours.  It travels overnight and it'll be there tomorrow night.  You've got a sleeper, that comes with meals."  Xander nodded at that, heading over to the pharmacy to get some things to nibble on and read on the way.  He considered calling the cops but the kid looked pretty healthy and if he didn't want to go to foster care he'd probably lie and head off some other way.  At least this way they'd know he was safe.  He came back and settled into a quiet corner of the station where he could keep watch on him.  He was clearly good at hiding in plain sight.  He almost seemed to merge with the shadows.  So something was seriously wrong with the kids' family.  Two adults came storming in and he knew they were after the kid.  "Do not do anything violent in my station," he snarled.

Dean stared at him and knew the lie the kid used.  "We're not his family.  We're protecting him from his family and taking him to the other family."

"Then why did he run from you two?"

"Because he thinks we don't give a damn," Sam said bluntly.  "And he's wrong."  He pulled Xander up, tossing Dean the bags of stuff and the suitcase.  "Can he cash out his ticket?"

The guy nodded and did that for him.  He stared at Xander, who shrugged.  "I can call someone."

"They're trying to help but I'm a major crimp in their style.  It'd be better if I did it on my own."

"Shut up," Dean ordered.  He stared at him.  "You're not, Xander.  You never have been.  Maybe if you were in diapers, but you're not bothering us.  I don't know where this is coming from but it's wrong."  He walked the kid out to the car and tossed the things into the trunk.  Then he texted his father to hit Chicago without them.  Xander needed to talk.  John sent back a telling response so he called.  "What did Vesvold say?  Because Xander just ran away.  He thinks he's crimping our style."  He listened.  Then he let Sammy listen.  He got in to drive.  Sam got into the passenger's side.  They headed off to find a place to hole up for the night.  Sam finally hung up after a few quiet words.  Dean found them a good abandoned house to hole up in for the night.  It was ratty.  It was in the middle of nowhere so the boy couldn't run away again while they slept.  Xander had thoughtfully gotten them dinner to nibble on while they talked.  Sam checked the house then nodded it was safe and abandoned.  He walked Xander in there.  "What is your malfunction?"

"You're doing all this to protect me. I can go live with Adam and let you guys get back to your normal life.  You're good at going back to it when I'm not there."

Dean wanted to hit something so bad.  Not the kid, but he wanted to hit something.  He looked at Sam.  "Is that true?"

"No, I'm worried sick whenever he disappears, even with us."  He stared at the boy.  "It's not like that, Xander.  We see you like a new little brother.  You may not have been born a Winchester but you were once we found out what you needed help with."  He tipped the boy's face up to make him look at him.  "Where is this coming from?"

Xander pulled away.  "It's the truth.  I've seen it."

"If some demon told you that, they lied," Dean said bluntly.  "Usually we go into a panic."  Xander scowled at him.  "We do.  We did today.  You nearly got a manhunt called but the cashier admitted you headed to the station."  He stared him down, arms crossed over his chest.  "I have never seen you as anything less than a little brother once I knew you did the same job we did and you needed to be reraised.  Never, Xander."

"He may have a point with Dad," Sam said.

Dean stared at him. "Dad's problem is that he knows he can't turn Xander into us.  His hormones would never allow him to be the soldier we are.  He's not sure where the line would be for him."

Xander started to move but Dean stopped him.  "I can pee off the back porch."

"No you can't."  He gave him a look.  "You're damn luck you're not in cuffs."  He stared at him.  "I'm seriously disappointed, Xander."

Xander slumped.  "I'm sorry but it's the truth and I've seen it happen!"

"Xander, we have to protect ourselves just as much," Sam pointed out.  "They want us too.  It's no problem to protect you at the same time."  Xander stared at him.  "Really."

"You guys weren't having a problem until I came along."

"Really?" Dean snorted.  "Sammy there was the world's biggest shitbag and demon magnet on the planet before then.  When we learned about your problems, it told us why he had his."

"Not cute, Dean," Sam said.  He looked outside.  "Yes, Officer?"  He walked out to the door.  "We didn't kidnap him."

"Sir, we were told he was running away from an abusive family."

"Who gave us custody," Dean said.  He went to find the custody papers in the glove box.  The cop saw the gun and reached for his.  "Easy, sparky, I'm wearing one on my back if I wanted to shoot you."   He found them and handed them over then put his into the glove box for a while.  He sat on the car seat, watching him read.  "It wasn't us who hurt him.  He was taken from them and handed to us to protect.  He was trying to get to a family friend because for some reason he thinks he's a strain on us.  I have no idea where he got that idea but it's stupid and wrong."  He took the papers back.  "Really.  We love the guy like he's our little brother."

"The scars he showed?"

"Pre us."

The officer walked inside.  "They do have legal custody paperwork.  Can I see those scars, kid?"  Xander took off his shirt with a sigh.  Both officers winced at the scars. "How in the hell?"

Xander shrugged.  "They fought a lot," he said quietly.

"Why were you running from these two?" the second officer asked.  "And told the guy about that?"

"He wouldn't let me go on my own without it.  They don't need me.  I'm hurting their bond that makes them great brothers by being here.  I'm stressing them out a lot."

"No, you're not," Sam said firmly, glaring at the boy.  "I swear to God I'm going to beat whoever told you that, Xander."

"I saw it, Sam."

"No, you didn't.  You clearly misinterpreted whatever you saw."  He looked at the officers.  "It wasn't us that did that.  We travel with our father most of the time.  He's a bit colder toward Xander but we're not.  I love the little guy like he was  my real little brother.  I have since about the third day we had him."  He handed Xander his shirt.  "Please?  Before Dean gets upset?"

"I've seen 'em," Dean said as he walked inside.  He stared the boy down.  "If we didn't give a damn, Xander, you'd be kept in handcuffs most of the time because you have bad urges."

Xander blinked at him. "But..."

"We wouldn't put up with any of the wackiness you bring to our lives if we didn't like you.  Remember, we didn't have to take you in.  We were going to ask Adam to do that anyway."  Xander looked at them.  "Really.  We were."

Sam nodded.  "I about talked him into it before I realized he thought it was a good idea," Sam agreed.  He looked at the officers.  "I'm sorry he worried the guy."

"No, it sounds like he's had a crappy life and he's having usual abused kid traumas," the first officer said.  "This isn't that unusual.  We've seen this low self esteem in plenty of them."  That got a nod.  "Why are you two here?"

"So no one at a motel would call you guys," Dean said with a small grin.

"Probably a good idea," the second said.  He looked at his partner.  "They're in order?"  That got a nod.  He looked at the boys.  "His original parents?"

"In hell for all I give a damn," Sam said bluntly.  "One of his former friends accused him of raping her when he wasn't even in town during that time."  Xander flinched at that.  "He was younger too."

That got a nod and they made note of it.  "Which town?"

"Sunnydale, out by LA," Dean said.  "We got that straightened out.  We had certified proof he was with us instead of out there.  They knew he hadn't so all they needed was something to prove an alibi."

That got another nod.  "Are you two going to be able to handle this without ripping into him?" the second cop asked.

"The urge to spank is there but I'm holding myself back," Dean assured them.  They both nodded and smiled a bit.  "I'm sorry he worried the guy at the train station."

"I didn't mean to get these two in trouble," Xander said quietly.

The officer looked at him.  "You had a decent enough reason to run the first time, kid.  This time, I think it'd be better if you stuck it out.  He'll understand.  He did when they picked you up.  If you had kicked and screamed about going back we'd have met you at your car."  Xander nodded at that knowledge.  "Now, sit down and actually talk to them.  If they're really like you think they won't."  Xander slumped but sat down on the floor.  "Good boy."  He looked at his partner then at the boys.  "Where you two from?"

"Lawrence, Kansas," Sam said, "but we've been traveling for a while to keep his family off him."

"That's fine."  They had a quiet word with Dean about counseling helping that and then left to report the situation was fine.  The train station guy understood exactly why the kid was running away. That's how he had gotten to their town way back when.  He was more worried about why the kid had so much money on him.  Most kids that age didn't have thousands of dollars.  Clearly a trust fund situation.  Well, these two had to be better guardians.  None of those scars looked like recent ones.

Sam looked at Xander.  "Quit guilt tripping yourself, Xander.  I mean it."  He looked at Dean.  Then at Xander.  "Can we raid the stash you bought at the pharmacy?"  Xander looked at him.  "It's yours, we should ask."

"Go ahead," he said quietly.

Dean went to get some of the sodas and a few bags of chips, bringing them back.  They settled with Xander on the dusty floor, letting him pick first.  Xander picked at his chips, fingering his bracelet.  The pets had been left in the car, for now.  They'd come in at bedtime to protect them.  They seriously needed to talk and Xander needed to learn he could turn to them for comfort.  How long had this been going on in the kid's head?  Usually one of them would've noticed this starting.  Dean looked at Sam for how to start.  He knew nothing about this emotional baggage shit.  Sammy always did that for him.

Sam watched the boy.  "The next convention's in Las Vegas," he said calmly.  "Did you want to go on our trip before or after?"

"You don't have to go."

"I want to go.  I want to see your reactions to traveling.  It's never as much fun to do something like that on your own."  Xander stared at him.  "It isn't."  The boy looked so confused so he slumped.  "Xander, what gave you the idea we became happy when you were gone?"

"You two don't play around when I'm there."

"That's because I'm afraid of shoving the Jolly White Giant there into you," Dean told him.  "I still pick on him, play pranks on him, all that stuff, when you're there.  Mostly Dad stops that before it gets out of hand because he doesn't want to hear it."  Xander looked at him while chewing on a pretzel.  "Honest.  I don't cut it back just because you're around.  I cut it back because Dad's around."

"I've seen you do it when I'm gone.  The last time you made Sam change clothes because you got him with the shaving cream bomb."

"That was pretty cool," Dean agreed happily, smirking at Sam.

"That was over six months ago," Sam told him.

"Three and a half," Xander said.

Dean shook his head.  "Sammy's right.  That was over six months ago.  I'm overdue for a new prank."  He looked at him.  "Let me guess, we were wearing the same clothes?"

"We only have so many outfits.  Of course we end up in the same ones," Sam said, eating a chip.

"Both of you and Dean had the broken shoelace?" Xander asked.

"The last broken shoelace was about then," Dean said, thinking back.  "But I didn't shaving cream bomb you that day.  Stopped up the shower so you had to stand in disgusting water.  That's why you broke my bootlace."

"Did a demon show you that?" Sam asked.  Xander nodded while he ate another pretzel then reached for another bag.  "Why did you get it if you don't like them?"

"I might want them in two or three days.  I take those moods."

Sam stared at him.  "Dad was drunk and said what?" he asked after a few minutes of staring.  "Because I know he did.  He used to at me."  Dean gaped.  Sam nodded.  "It's not often and it's always when he's too stressed out."  He looked at the boy, then he took off his bracelet since he was playing with it again.

"I need that.  Otherwise the bad things will come again," he said, trying to get it back.  "They'll take us all and I'll be some disgusting sex slave."

Dean took it from Sam and put it into his pocket.  "You have some control over that, Xander, and you need to work on it now and then.  You can't always rely on the bracelet."  He made the boy look at him.  "What did Dad say?"

Xander slumped again.  "That I was a pampered and spoiled princess.  That he didn't know how I had done anything on my own before."  He looked at them.  "That he'd find me a keeper when I hit the right age so you two can go back to what you need to be doing to get rid of more evil demons."

"About four months ago?" Sam asked.  Xander nodded quickly, looking down.  "I was wondering why Dad couldn't look at you the next day," he said, looking at Dean as he pulled Xander over for a cuddle.  "Drunks say stupid shit they don't mean, Xander."

"Then the demon probably built on top of that," Dean realized.

Sam nodded.  He made the boy look at him.  "Demons lie, Xander.  That's a fundamental truth of the universe.  They lie to get what they need.  They cheat, they steal, all that.  They lie better than Dean does when he's picking up women."  Xander gave him an uneasy look.  "He probably arranged the viewing so it showed what he wanted.  Dean still pranks me all too often."  He gave the boy a squeeze.  "You being there doesn't stop that."  He felt the boy stiffen and looked around.  "Dean, incoming."  He tossed him his gun so he could roll to face the demon when it appeared.  "What do you want?" he sneered, shifting Xander to protect him better.

"You should not have to endure this hovel of filth," he told the boys.  "You all deserve better."  He took them and their disgusting dinner with him.  They were put into his harem's living quarters and he sent his spouse in to fuss over them.  She seemed harmless and they wouldn't protest her.  He went to call Vesvold.  "I rescued the one that you protect.  They were staying in filth on the floor!  They were eating disgusting things that have no nutritional value!  How dare you let ones of their kind live like that!"

"They had stopped overnight to talk to the boy about what some demons had said to him," he said bluntly.  "Put them back before they attack you and yours.  They are demon hunters."

He snorted.  "No longer.  That is beneath their skills.  They can watch over the boy until he is of age for you to have him."  He hung up and went to watch over them.  He would train the two lesser ones.  They were not as prestigious but he would not want to bother Vesvold or any other of his kind over a pretty one like the child would turn into.  He saw the two adults arguing and grimaced.  They would learn their places soon enough.  When one made a threatening move with his weapon he walked in there.  "Do not harm my wife.  She is trying to get you to bathe off the stench you carry.  It is very pleasurable.  We have had others of your kind and Quarth up here before.  I am not a bad owner of my pets."  He sent them into the bathing chamber then went to get their meager possessions so they wouldn't worry.  The loud one had an attachment of some sort to his car.

***

Dean stared at the locked door then at them.  "What the fuck?" he demanded.

"Welcome to my life," Xander said grimly.  "Two ways out.  Out stubborn or kill him.  We could try making him beg but I don't know how to force my hormones up.  It's still hit or miss."

"We can do that?" Sam asked.  Xander nodded. "How?"

"You think them into a spike.  You have to be careful because if they go too high then you're in danger of being cloudy headed."

Sam nodded, concentrated on smutty thoughts.  He felt his fuzzy feeling of backlog come back.

"Dude, making my eyes water with it," Dean complained.

Sam smirked.  "It works."

Xander looked around the bathroom.  "If we don't bathe, he'll send someone in to scrub us."  He took off his shirt but Dean stopped him.  "He will.  They do that."

"Hostages are not cooperative, Xander.  We do not cooperate with anyone or anything that takes us hostage.  If they want us less dirty they can try to send someone in and we'll send them to meet their maker.  You don't have to give in until you can kill it."  Xander gave him a confused look.  "Sammy, didn't you go over this with him?"

"Most of the ones I've been taken on they were talking up their estates and realms," Sam told him.  "Not kidnaping him; letting him know the merits of letting them court him."

"I should have my bracelet back," Xander said.

"No, that's a weapon you can use, Xander.  We'll teach you how.  We should've before."

Sam shrugged.  "He didn't tell me we could think them higher.  Neither did Adam."

Dean sighed.  "Okay, let's go back over GHS 101 with me since I apparently slept through a few lectures and so did you.  How did you learn that, Xander?"

"Ray and Adam told me I could do that to stun someone and make them take me home."  He sat down on the bench that appeared.  Sam pulled him up and kicked it over.  "It was comfy."

"It's from that one and the more we comply the more he thinks he's winning."

Xander scowled.  "But then that makes it easier to lead him on so you can kill him."

"By then, we'd be slept with," Dean told him bluntly.  "Sometimes that works but sometimes it doesn't."  Someone knocked on the door then a basket with clothes appeared.  "No thanks, we like our regular clothes."

"They are not appropriate for men such as yourselves," a female voice called back.  "It is unseemly."  She walked off.  Her husband was monitoring the situation she was sure.  They always tried to get away at first.

Dean looked at the clothes then held up a pair of pants.  "Not my style."  He tossed them back.  He sat down on the side of the tub again, looking back when it started to fill on its own.  He looked at the boy again.  It'd keep itself from overflowing or not, he didn't care.  "How do you raise them?"

"I thought smutty thoughts to send myself into a surge like you get before you release," Sam told him.

Dean nodded, concentrating on his.  It worked and he smirked. "Good to know.  Are there any other offensive uses?"  Xander shrugged.  "What else did they teach you to do in emergencies?"

"I'd get that when I hit puberty.  I'm too young for that and his clan can kill him for taking me this way at my age."

"Demons don't like pedophiles either.  Good to know," Sam said.  He looked at the tub then at Dean.  "It even smells like your aftershave, dude."

"I don't care.  I'm not a demon whore."  He looked at Xander again.  "Okay, beyond that, do you have any other strategies if they try stuff?"  Xander slowly shook his head.  "Then we'll teach you.  We've ran into some sick bitches on the road with dad when we were younger so Dad taught us some stuff.  He should've been teaching you but he's had that shotgun up his ass again."

"Sideways some days," Sam agreed.  The water turned itself off and bubbles floated out.  "Someone's a literary demon.  He read Harry Potter."

Xander cackled.  "That's mean, Sam."

"He did."

"Maybe they came up with it first and she saw one," Xander offered.  "Maybe Vesvold has some guards that can come rescue us?  I know he has a few."

"Better to get yourself out than to wait for rescue but not a bad plan," Dean agreed.  "If you can contact him, ask for it."  Xander nodded.  The boy reached for his bracelet.  "No.  Leave it off.  You need to learn some control of it before you get all the puberty hormone surges we all had."  Xander gave him a horrified look.  "Puberty is when you hit manhood, Xander.  It's your body changing into the adult version of you.  That means things have to grow and that requires hormones.  Plus you get really horny.  We were going to ask Adam to have that talk with you when we got there.  Dad gave us lectures on how to control it before it controlled us."

"Which did jack the morning I woke up with my first hard-on," Sam complained.  He looked around the bathroom for weapons.  The demon was thorough but they were better than average.  "Xander, can you see if you can use your magical gift to call something like a sword?"  Xander concentrated, then shook his head.  "Just in here?"  He nodded.  "When we get out there, call one, okay?"

"Yes, Sam."  He looked at Dean.  "They're going to burst in here and scrub us.  That's humiliating."

"If they try, you get behind Sammy and let us kick their asses," Dean said firmly.  He pulled the boy closer.  "We do not cooperate with hostage takers, Xander.  Doing that means we give up sooner.  The longer you fight, the more it wears out their side."  Xander nodded at that wisdom.  "Beyond that, there's no way in hell some evil bastard is going to get me into flimsy pants you can see through in front of you, since you're still a kid, and there's no way in hell I'm putting up with some bitch taking us this way.  You need to learn more self defense."

"That's why the three of us are going on the road trip," Sam reminded him.

Dean nodded.  "I get that."  He stood up when the door was knocked on.  "What?"

"Are you three nearly done?"

"We're not cooperating," Dean said.

There was a sigh then the door opened and a huge demon walked in.  "The master wants you three bathed and appropriately clothed for dinner.  Otherwise he has said that he will destroy that which he brought up that you held dear."

Xander stared at him.  "He brought up the car?"  The demon nodded.  "Huh."  He looked at them then glared at the demon.  "I'm not of age for this yet."

"They will raise you until you are then the Councilor Vesvold will take care of you, as he has stated he would do."

"Fat fucking chance, dude," Dean sneered.  "No one touches the kid or us."  The demon sighed again and reached for him but Dean beat at him.  Sam got his other side.  Xander backed away and concentrated really hard.  A sword came in and he took a swing at the demon's leg.  It screamed in pain and limped away, the door being shut again.  "Thanks," Dean panted.  He took the sword.  "That's damn handy."

"Welcome," he said quietly.  He rubbed his head.  "It was on a wall outside the room."

They nodded and got ready for the next attack.  At least they only had a small gateway.  They never counted on the gas that came out of the air ducts.  So when they woke up the sword was gone and they were all freshly scrubbed and reclothed.  Dean could see his precious car outside their window.  He checked on the boys.  Xander was still out.  He checked his pulse, relieved he felt one.  Sammy was waking up.  "We got gassed."

"Then I got stabbed," he said, rubbing his stomach.  "They know what I am."

Dean shrugged.  "Won't help 'em any."  Xander moaned then rolled to his side and threw up.  "It was too strong for him."  They got Xander back into the bathroom before he could heave again and helped him settle his stomach down.  One of the demons brought in some water and a new set of clothes.  "You could've killed him.  We're not touching anything you bring us, lady."

"I did not drug him.  You were stubborn.  It did not have to be that way."

Xander stared at him then muttered something in Latin, making her scream and run off with her hair on fire.  "I don't feel very good."  He went back to heaving into the toilet.  "I want Adam or Vesvold," he whined a minute later.

Dean gave him a hug once he got him cleaned up.  "I know, Xander.  It'll be okay."  He noticed his dampening bracelet was back on so he took it off him again.  Xander felt better.  "Having that sucked off makes you feel rotten."  They let him change into the new clothes but that was it.  They came out to find the head demon scowling.  "You could've killed him."

"Then next time, don't be so stubborn."

Xander glared at him. "Vesvold would kill you for hurting me."

"You're merely a human," he reminded him. "He may grieve but not forever."

Xander snickered.  "Am I really?"  He pulled himself up to his full height.  "We do know that I'm under a deaging curse?  That I was a demon hunter in my own right before then?"

"That explains how you used the sword."  He smirked.  "Good to know.  I won't underestimate you next time."

Xander snickered.  Then he looked up, praying hard to Hecate and Strife.  He had gotten some prayers answered from Strife over the last year and a half.  An idea hit him and he chanted the words, drawing on the native power of the realm.  It started to unravel and his head was throbbing.  "Move," he said.  They headed for the car.  It wasn't native to the realm.  Dean got out to check the trunk but they hadn't touched it yet.  He got back in and Xander was on the hood finishing the chant.  There were screams and then a black hole started to open.  He shook his head, going back over it again, and then a third time.  The screaming finally stopped and they were alone.  He looked up.  "Hey, Vesvold, can we get home now? Before I have to puke again?"  They were taken by another demon.  "We want the car," Xander ordered.

"I cannot move something that size."

Xander snorted.  "I can and I'm less powerful than you are."  The car appeared behind them in the entry way.  "Thank you, whoever did that."  He looked at the demon again.  "We want to go home.  Now."

"That is not allowed.  You managed to destroy a noble family."

"Fuck 'em," Dean said. "He stole us."

"Your kind are meant to be pets," he said snidely.  They and the car were taken again.

Dean and Xander looked around.  The car was untouched.  Dean checked the trunk and tossed Xander a t-shirt since he wasn't wearing a shirt at all.  No Sam.  "Where's Sammy?"

"His kind can unravel a few realms," the female demon walking in noted calmly.  "I sent him to your natural realm so he would be safe."  She looked at Xander then smiled and bowed a bit.  "I mean you no harm, young one.  Relax and let the magic go before it fries your mind and you truly are nothing but a pleasure to look at and sniff."  He sighed but let it go.  "Very good."  She looked at Dean. "You are safe.  I could have sent your weapons with him.  I have no intention of making you my pet.  I don't need pets.  They do my kind no good.  Would you like some food?"  The boy turned green so she created a bowl before he could get sick on her rugs.  She let the human help the younger one of his own kind.  They were quite confusing.  She only needed a few things and then her plans would be complete.  "I brought you here so I could request an exchange for saving you."

"What?" Dean asked, staring her down.

She smirked.  "I need the blood of two hellmouth babies born.  You and he are both such.  I don't need much.  Enough to fill a small vial.  It is for a very strong spell."

"That does....?"

"Many things but will take out some of my enemies."

"Not humans?" Xander asked, staring at her.

"Not specifically.  I am in no way desiring the mudhole you humans have turned your realm into."

Xander stared at her.  "Swear it on your blood relatives?"  She stared at him.  "We would."

"I'll consider that.  Until then let me show you to a better place to succor him."  She led them to a nice bedroom with an attached bathroom and left them there, with the door unlocked.  That young one was crafty.  He had to be so he could get away she guessed.  She went to look them up in the book of demon hunters.  The young one looked too familiar.

Dean got Xander cleaned up and settled him into bed, heading out to the car for a minute to get them both real clothes and weapons.  He was not going to be unarmed at the moment.

***

Sam landed next to John, falling to his knees to heave his guts up.  "Oh, God."

"Sammy?" John asked.  He came over to help.  "What happened?"

Sam glared at him.  "You hurt him.  I'm going to kick your ass."

"What?"

Sam shoved him off, getting to his feet, leaning against the truck. "You called him a spoiled princess?"

John went pale. "I was drunk.  I had no idea what I was saying."

"Xander decided we'd be better off without him and ran away.  Fortunately we got there before the train did and got him back."  He gave him another shove.  "Then we got taken with him."

"I was hoping that's why you were wearing the see-through pants."

Sam glared hotter.  "Xander believed the only way he could get free was by enticing and then slaying."  He gave him another shove.  "Did we not think about giving him the same anti-dirtbag lectures we got?"

"I didn't know he needed it!"

"Of course he did!" he shouted.  He glared at him.  Then he looked around.  "Vesvold, can I go help them?"

Vesvold appeared.  "No.  Such as you are would rip that realm apart.  They're safe.  A third, more dangerous, one of us has taken them but only wants a few drops of blood for a spell.  Xander had backlash from earlier.  I can't get to where they and the car are without causing an incident that would create a war for my people."  They shared a look.  "Did you not think to teach him?" he asked calmly.

"Dad was working on all his self defense.  Half the time I was the only one talking to the boy like he was family."

"It still hurts him.  Time does run quicker there.  He'll come back a bit older."  He looked Sam over. "I would change."  John tossed over his bag of clothes for Sam, letting him stomp off to change.  He looked at John.  "I know you did not have time to change after our talk.  I would hope you had seen some of the light afterward."

"I never meant to say those things to him."

"Hmm. Yet they do happen now and then.  Yes, Xander was meant to be a pampered, favored concubine but the life of a concubine is not all pleasure and quite often it is more fighting to not be murdered by those around you."  He left, leaving the family to argue while he tried to do something to get them back to their native planet.

John looked over as Sam came out redresesd.  "I'm going to apologize to him, son."

"You'd better."  He stared him down.  "Do you think Dean and I are the same sort of princess?  Because we can be just as bad as he is."

"You two are well trained to defend yourself."

"So was he before he was hit."

John slumped.  "I keep forgetting that.  I was hoping he'd find someone good to help him when he hit the right age without going to one of them."

Sam took a swing and hit him.  "He heard how you were going to find him one, Dad."  He got the truck's keys and got in.  "I'll be in Chicago."  He took off, leaving his father to handle things.  There were a few people at the gas station and they had seen it all.

John pulled himself up.  "I'm going to paddle them all later," he decided.  "Right after I apologize."  He went to pay for the gas and find a way to the bus station.  Sam would go to Adam.  They were close to Chicago.  If not, he was heading for Bobby or Caleb.  He found a payphone and called them both.  Thankfully he had his wallet on him.  "Caleb, John.  Sammy took my truck to go save Xander and Dean from whoever has them this time.  If you see him, find some way to let me know?  No, it was in the truck.  Punched me and took the keys.  Screaming fight because I had gotten drunk and said something I shouldn't to Xander.  Yeah, the liquor talked and the boy listened.  I've been trying but he's only ten."  He nodded.  "Thanks, Caleb.  Put it around for me?  Especially Jim or Bobby?  He's heading for Chicago probably but maybe to Bobby since one of those things took them."  He nodded.  "Thanks, man.  Heading for Chicago.  Bus."  He smirked.  "Wyathville?"  He nodded.  "Good to know.  Thanks, Caleb."  He hung up and headed for the local bus station.  By now it was all over town. Some righteous parent would be kicking his ass soon if he didn't leave.

***

Sam stormed into Bobby's house.  "I need to know how to get the various demon realms."

Bobby blinked.  "They take the boy again?"

"Yup.  And Dean and me but they kicked me out first.  Apparently being me would've hurt their pitiful little realm."  He growled.  "It's bad enough Dad got into one of his drunken complaining moods on the boy.  Then Xander decided we're better off without him so he tried to run.  Then we got kidnaped that night."  He stared at his family's friend.  "I need to get up there to save them."  Bobby handed over the note he had gotten.  He read it.  Then he snorted.  "I don't care if she is releasing them tonight.  I'm going to go destroy the bitch!"

"Calm down," Bobby ordered.

"No, I'm not!"

"Calm down!" he snapped.  "If they're hurt then we can go destroy her.  Until then, let's get ready to handle whatever's going to happen."  He stared the young man down.  "Did you really knock John down and steal his truck?"  Sam smirked as he nodded. "Good job, boy."  He smirked back.  "Every now and then your daddy needs his head rearranged."

"Don't tempt me.  I've been frantic for the last few days."  He sat down.  "Who called?"

"Caleb.  Your daddy got him and had him call around.  He thought you might be hitting Chicago."

"We were going there originally."  He found the house phone and pulled out his calling card to call Adam.  "It's Sam.  Our plans went to hell thanks to a kidnaping.  Can we meet you in Vegas in a few weeks?  North Dakota.  Hoping Xander and Dean get back here tonight."  He listened.  "That's what Vesvold said."  He listened to the reason for it.  "Uh-huh.  So I have to find her down here to kill her?  I can do that."  He snickered.  "Thanks, Adam.  And for making the reservations for us too."  He hung up and leaned back.  "He made reservations for us at the hotel the convention is going on at.  We're heading from here to take that road trip first.  That'll only take a week and the convention's in about three he said."  He rubbed his eyes.  "I so want to kill her."

"We'll find her and do her in too," Bobby soothed.  "Why don't you go shower and change into something that fits?"

"All my clothes are in the car."

Bobby pointed.  "I keep that emergency bag for John, Sammy."  He grinned and went to check it out, finding something in there he could wear.  He hadn't went up in jeans sizes in years and Dean's t-shirts still fit him too.  He showered and changed, coming out to find Bobby cooking.  "Before you say it, I was bored anyway."  He smirked.  "How's it been otherwise?"

"Dad didn't teach Xander about the assholes who prey on children.  Xander was using a bait and then kill strategy to get free."

Bobby moaned.  "That makes no damn sense."

"Dad looks at it like he's protecting Xander until he can hand him off to a keeper," Dean said as he came in the back door with Xander behind him.  "We've been talking."  He looked at Xander.  "I have no idea why he's aging so fast."

"Adam said someone higher up said he'd be going over the first time within six years," Sam said quietly.

"Ah.  So that's helping him not stay a kid forever.  Good to know."  He gave Xander a hug.  "See, Sammy's fine."  Xander pounced him to hug him.  He looked at Bobby.  "Can we clean up?"

"Sure.  You know where the bathroom is."  They walked that way.

"Where's Dad? I can see his truck."

"I kinda knocked him down and stole it," Sam told him.

Dean smirked.  "Way to grow balls, Sammy."  He went to shower and change.  Xander came in after him because he took longer.  He came back to the kitchen.  "Xander's thinking about growing his hair out."

"I noticed it was longer.  How long were you guys up there?"

"'Bout six months," Dean admitted.  "He seems to be a bit older though."

Xander came out talking to Adam on his cellphone, much happier.  "Of course I'll do that, Adam.  Sure.  Only a week is good and that'll give us more than enough time to hit Las Vegas for the convention."

"Ask him if he knows why you're aging so fast off the planet," Dean said.

Xander looked at him.  "Strife asked very nicely so I'm not stuck as some pimpled teenager forever."  He went back to listening and giggling, smiling at his buddy's words.  "Thanks, Adam.  With Bobby.  Umm.  I don't know.  Sam, Dean, he wants to know if he should run John through or just tell him to meet us in Vegas."

"Meet us in Vegas for the convention," Sam said.

"After," Dean corrected.

Sam looked at him.  "He's got to get comfortable with what we both are, Dean.  During."

"He'll freak."

"So?  About time he got comfy with the idea that we have hormone spikes too."

"Fine.  But if he goes on a drinking binge...."

"I'll throw him into the Canal in the Venice."

"That may work," Bobby admitted.

"They decided to have him show up and be silent during the convention, Adam.  I know, but he won't say anything and it'll be an extra, horrified, but protective person.  Thanks, man.  Love you."  He hung up.  "He'll tell him later once he has food poisoning."  He hugged Bobby.  "Can I help cook?  I should probably learn since it looks like I won't get to leave the house too much."

"Sure, we can work on that.  When are you guys leaving?"

"Tomorrow.  Strife said he'd send us."  Bobby gave him an odd look.  "My father offered me to him if he'd let him win a poker game."

"Shitbag," Dean muttered.

"Really?  No clue about that," Xander joked.  Sam gave him a hug and he relaxed.  "I'm sorry, Sam."

"After dad, of course you thought that," he soothed.  "The demons lied to you, we were grumpy.  I'm happy it didn't happen sooner."  The boy grinned.  "Do we have to shop?"

"No, she called in her tailor and had clothes made for him," Dean said dryly.

"Vesvold said I'd need the leather pants this time."

"Vesvold touches you before you're at least sixteen and I'm shooting his ass," Dean said.  "Eighteen preferably."

"Yes, Dean."

"Thank you."  He gave him a nudge on the shoulder.  "Wash your hands and help Bobby."  He did that while they set the table and went over the list of what they needed to bring.  Dean was going to be bringing guns and ammo anyway, no matter what Strife said, but that was him being him.  They'd get over it when he blasted the first thing that tried to hurt Xander.

***

The trio faced off with Strife early the next morning.  It was so early Xander was still pouty.  Dean gave him a soda so he'd quit being so pouty.  Strife grinned at that.  "A few questions?" Sam asked.

"Sure, go ahead," Strife agreed, hopping up to sit in mid air.

"Currency?"

"Gems."  He pointed at Xander's backpack.  "I unloaded a few of his tip boxes and another one he had that Adam was dealing with."

"Can they be easily changed there?" Dean asked.  "I know pawn shops aren't universal."

"Gems are easier for travelers, no exchange rate," Sam told him.  "But every major village should have someone who can?"  Strife nodded. "Okay.  Clothing?"

"You're not gonna pass for native," he said dryly.

"I didn't figure we would but are there decency codes?  Like if we're caught without a shirt on we'll be stoned?"

"No."

"Language?" Xander asked.  "How easy is it to pick up?"

Strife considered it then ran a hand over their three foreheads.  "It'll help.  It's only tha basics, I don't know it all."

"We can learn from there," Sam assured him with a grin.  "Transportation is ours or yours?"

"Yours.  Can't use the car.  Have to buy nags."

Dean grimaced.  "I'm gonna hate being on a horse.  My ass'll never recover it's fantastic look."

Sam looked at him.  "Now and then you sound like the Queen of Hunters."

"Bite me, Samantha."

Strife cackled.  "You two are such fun."  He stared at Dean.  "Guns?"

"Yeah.  Just in case."

Strife grimaced and added the other three packs he had waiting on them.  Then considered Xander and added another two for him.  "Town's only a few clicks away."  They nodded at that.  "Do not get into trouble.  If Xander wants ta be a political person, let him.  He might find that level of intrigue good.  Goes well with his nature anyway."  They all nodded.  "By the time you come back, he'll be legal."

"He'll age that much?" Dean asked.  Strife nodded.  "Will I?"  Strife shook his head. "We're sure?"

"Yup.  Special dispensation.  No one wants a young teen in the game.  The last one was a huntah of bad proportions."  He hopped back to his feet.  "So this one, then our realm so he can take lessons at Cupe's and Ares, right?"  They nodded.  "Bring the horses too."  He opened the portal and let them carry stuff through with them.  Xander came back to give him a hug so he gave him an extra bag of jewels, in case he needed it for bribes.  Xander would make a fantastic courtesan some year.  The Fates had some interesting things to say about them too.  Especially after Dean came over.  He felt something go wrong and looked then sent the packs back to them.  He also put back all the gems.  Stupid spells.  Ares appeared and straightened it out for him.  "Thanks, Unc."

"Xander's still warping magic."  He looked at them then added another bag of gems.  Strife gave him an odd look.  "They'll need it for ransoms."  He disappeared.  Strife did too once the portal was closed.

Bobby had been in the kitchen watching.  He wasn't sure he wanted to be near a mischief or a chaos god.  So he had stayed out of the way.  He called John to let him know the boys were off on their trip.  The youngest did seem very excited.  He was way too bouncy that morning.

***

Dean saw the village first and sighed in pleasure.  "Civilization."

"I don't see a market," Sam told him.

Xander put his bags down.  "We can ask.  They should have an inn or something."  He pointed at the guy he could see riding their way.  "Or we could ask him."

The guard rode up toward them and stopped, looking at them.  "Foreign born?" he asked.

"I was sent to learn that dance style that could help with my self defense," Xander told him in the same language, kinda.

"Whoever taught you our language should be gutted," he said dryly.

"We're trying to be inconspicious," Sam said with a grin.  He was trying to look harmless, nice, and about a foot shorter so the man wouldn't think he was a threat.

The guard looked them all over.  "Why come this way?"

Xander pointed behind them.  "We got dropped off back there.  Is there a place in town we can exchange things for money and get horses?"

"Not this town.  It's too small for either thing.  What do you have to exchange?"  Xander pulled a stone out of the bag in his pocket.  The guard looked impressed.  "That's very nice.  I can tell you you'll need sturdy horses.  It's a fairly long journey."

"That's fine.  My guardians and I can handle that."

"You're experienced in woods lore?"

"In our native area," Dean agreed.  "We've camped on and off for years due to work."

He studied him.  "Soldier?"

"We hunt bad things that hurt people," Sam said.

"Ah."  He nodded, looking at the boy.  "Are you sure you want to learn?  It will change you."  Xander held up his hand.  "What?"

"Sniff."

He did and moaned, weaving a bit in his saddle.  "You're one of the cursed.  You're very young."

Xander nodded.  "I got cursed from twenty-two to ten again too."

"You come to learn to protect yourself or to take up the dance and find a worthy spouse to protect you?"

"To protect myself but if it helps me find a spouse I'm not going to protest once I'm of age," he said with an impish grin.

The guard laughed.  "I can see that.  Let me tell my commander.  Having you in a real town could get dangerous.  Or the market.  The nearest one is a day in the wrong direction for you by horse or carriage but it would be safer."  He looked at them.  "Wait here.  I'll be back in a few hours."  He turned his horse and rode off.

"They know GHS here," Xander said.

"That's not exactly a bad thing," Dean said.  He counted bags.  "Xander, go find the one we dropped?"  He ran off to do that since he had more energy.  The boy got back before the guard did.  They settled down with the bags, Dean looking inside them to see what they had packed for them.  A few things got a dirty look.  "More skimpy pants."

"Maybe we'll need them to work out in," Xander said.

"Maybe," Sam agreed.  Dean glared.  "It won't hurt you to learn some of it either, Dean."

"Whatever."  He heard hoofbeats and repacked that bag, tying it shut and standing up.  The guard was back with another, older guy in the same uniform.  "Morning."

The guard smiled.  "That one is one of the cursed ones.  The ones that the legends speak of but we have not had for ages untold.  His scent showed me that because I am not attracted to children."

The older guard sniffed the boy's hair then moaned, nodding.  "He is.  Where are you three going?"

"I'm being sent to learn your dance style and self defense," Xander told him.  "These are my guardians, Sam and Dean."

The older guard nodded.  "Then it's best you go to the main palace.  No horses?"

"We couldn't travel with them," Sam told him.

"Hmm."  He looked then stabbed them both before his guard knocked out the boy.   He was a precious thing and rich.  It would bring a lot of money to the village.  They were finishing packing up their bags to be gone through when first one then the other gasped and came back.  "What are you?" he demanded.

"His big brother," Sam said, hopping up to snap their necks and take their horses if they had to.  Dean groaned, holding his head.  "I know about the buzz.  It'll get better soon, Dean."

"You knew!" he demanded.

Sam looked at him.  "No, I didn't know.  If I had I would've warned you."  He came over to help his big brother up.  "I'm sorry, Dean.  If I had known I would've told you."

"Don't you dare hug me or some girly shit," Dean growled.

Sam grinned.  "Fine, I won't.  Wake Xander up?"  He finished tying the corpses down and put the last few bags on the saddle, taking the reins to walk them back to the village.  Someone would surely want them back.  He heard Xander wake up and yelp in surprise, hugging Dean for both of them.

"I'm fine.  Quit hugging."

"Shut up!" Xander ordered, squeezing harder.  "I thought you died!"

"I'm tougher than that.  If demons can't, some queer little guards in tights sure won't."  He walked the boy after Sam and the horses.  "Can't we take theirs?" he complained.

"No, Dean.  That would be horse theft and we can probably be put to death for that."

"Fine."   He put an arm around Xander's shoulders, smiling because he was still short enough to do that to.  The gate had more guards and Sam handed over the horses once he had their bags off.  "They tried to take our little brother hostage.  They were going to tell us where we could get money exchanged and buy horses to travel with, plus how to get to the palace?"

The new head guard looked at them.  "Why would he?"

"I was sent to learn that dance style," Xander said quietly.  "The old guy tried to stab my family."

The guards all sighed and nodded.  They could see the spilled blood.

"There is not a good money changer here or horses for sale usually," one said.  "The best bet is the market a day's ride that way," he said with a point.  They nodded.  "Let me ask to see if anyone's going that way so you can go with them.  That way you can bring all your bags."  He went to talk to the head market seller in town.  Two days.  He came back.  "He said he's going in two days.  We do have a small inn but it's not much."  Xander held up a gemstone.  "That is worth more than the building."

"Can we use it to help pay our way up to the market?" Sam asked.  The guards all nodded.  "Then may we do that?"

"You may," the head guard agreed.  He helped get their things that way and brought the market seller to them to talk to them.  The inn owner promised to split the profits of the sale of the stone with him for their transportation fee.  They settled in to talk, rest, and work on repacking the bags so they made more sense.  Dean thought they were still missing a bag so Xander tried to summon it.  Then he tied it with another one since it kept getting lost.  Sam snickered on his bed but that was fine.  They decided to push the two beds together and give Xander the middle spot.  It was safer for him right now.  And them.

***

Xander felt like he should know the guy selling the horses.  He looked so familiar.  The guy was staring at him in horrified awe too.  He smiled.  "Do I know you?"

"You're Xander."

"It's a curse, dude," Sam said as he walked up behind Xander.  "He got deaged by one of the pros at the brothel."

"Ah!  No wonder."  He smiled.  "Why are you on this plane?"

"Learning that self defense and dance style."

"Interesting.  Why come to me?"

"We couldn't drive here," Sam told him.

"Quite true.  Has he picked out a teacher?"

"One of the guards at the last village said to go to the palace."

"Usually you need a special invitation and a lesser teacher to send you."

"Is there one here?" Xander asked.

"There is one at the inn.  What else did you need?"

"Horses or something to ride on."

Dean came back with four bags full of the local coins.  "I only sold three stones."  He handed them to Sam since he had the bigger pockets.

The seller looked at him then backed away slowly.  "I know of your reputation."

"That's why Xander's like a little brother."

"I see.  Go see the local teacher then come back.  I only have slightly used horses right now.  I'm expecting some better ones tonight."

"We have no idea how to ride," Dean admitted quietly.

"That would be fixed as well."  They nodded and he pointed for their benefit.  Xander bounced off to see the teacher while he went to see if anyone had a small carriage they were selling.

Xander found the teacher and beamed at him.  "I was told to come see you."

He looked the boy over.  "You're a bit too old."

"I just got sent to learn so I could defend myself better," Xander said.  "Besides, I'm only twelve."

The teacher stared at him then his guardians, then back at him.  "Do you know any of it yet?"

"Not yet.  Someone who does sent me here.  We were told to find a local teacher to look him over and recommend where he should be," Sam told him.

"Very well.  We will see if you have what it takes to learn the art of the body."  He took his purchases and walked them off to his rooms at the inn.  Xander was stripped down to his pants and shoes.  The teacher did the same so he could move with him.  Xander followed along, but it wasn't great.

"Xander, bracelet," Dean said.  Xander took it off and tossed it back.  Then he tried it again.  This time it was much smoother.

"That inhibits his rhythm?" the teacher asked.

"It's to keep his hormones down," Sam corrected.  "They surge in all three of us."

The teacher gave the boy a look then did something that required more grace.  Xander followed along and he nodded.  "He could use training.  He may not be one of the best but it does suit his body."  He looked at them.  "It could help you both as well."  Sam nodded at that.  "Do you have the funds to set up a small house and hire a lesser master as a trainer?"

"We have some funds," Dean admitted.  "We're not sure how that would translate in local money."

The teacher sighed.  "How much?"  Dean pulled out the rest of the bag of gemstones.  "That will probably keep you for at least a year.  At that time, he may be more eligible for training at the palace."  He sat down at his desk to write out a note.  "Go here.  It is in a major city.  Let the teacher I'm sending you to help you find a spot."  He added that at the bottom to help them since they were outlanders.  He handed it to Dean, who tucked it into his pocket.  "The training will help him but most boys get sent to us at puberty."

"He's got about a year before then," Sam said.

"That should be enough time to get him acclimated and settled down."  He stroked over the boy's hair.  "The Gods and the Old One love those who the dance calls to."  He looked at them.  "He may end up with a patron."

"He's not for sale," Dean said.  "For fun one's he's old enough but not for sale."

"There are those who would like him for that purpose."

"We're already very careful of him," Sam promised.  That got a nod.  "We'll make sure they don't take him."

"Very well then.  Head that way.  Are you leaving tonight?"

"We had to find a way to travel that way.  Our things are at the inn on the other end of the market since we came from that way."

"That's reasonable.  You could hire a coach."

"You can?" Xander asked.

The teacher nodded.  "You can.  If the horse trader doesn't have something for you, have him arrange it.  He can do that."  They nodded and shook his hand, leaving him to eat his lunch and think about that very strange young boy.  He was almost exotic in his pale skin and dark hair.  His large brown eyes.  The locals were all darker, some lighter from mixing in of bloodlines but mostly darker with short, dark, straight hair.  He'd grow into his grace someday soon and then they'd see who would be trying for his hand.

***

Dean found the horse trader just before diner  "Anything?"

"I have a small carriage but it's not covered.  There's not going to be any rain that we know of soon."

"How much?"

"Six hundred for all three."  Dean winced.  "The old owner was firm."  Dean counted what they had.  Then he held up an emerald.  The guy drooled.  "Not quite enough."  Dean pulled out a larger one.  He took it to look at.  "It has a large flaw."

Dean looked.  "Huh."  He pulled out the smaller one and added it, getting a nod.  "It's late, could we find an inn on the way?"

"No.  Not for another six travel hours.  I'll keep them here tonight for you."  Dean nodded, walking off.  "Thank you."

"Thanks for the help, dude."  He waved, going to tell them the good news.  If they had to, they could sell it once they were there.  They found everyone in the room.  Xander was staring at his stew like it was strange.  "What's wrong?"

"It's rabbit," Sam said quietly.  "He's not sure he can eat it."

Dean took the spoon and fed Xander a bite.  "It's edible.  People did it for centuries."  He sat down, looking at Sammy.  "You really didn't know?"

Sam shook his head.  "No.  I could tell.  I guessed about Xander.  I only know because I felt that buzzing feeling about Adam the first time."

Dean sighed, leaning back on his bed.  "We need to talk to Dad."

"Yeah, but we'll be back there sometime soon."

"Good point."  He got his own bowl of stew and dug in.  Xander offered the rest of his bowl, getting a dirty look.  The boy sighed but dug in.  "Thank you."

"It's got that aftertaste."

Sam took a bite of his.  "That's the herbs, Xander.  We'll let you learn how to cook while we're here."  Xander nodded.  He finished up and ate the bread to clear the taste from his mouth.  They used their nightly water allotment to take cloth baths and do their hairs then went to bed.  Sam stayed up a bit to protect them but even he had to sleep sometime.

***

Dean looked at the carriage and horses.  It looked okay.  "Pile the bags in a corner," he said.  "Xander can lean against them."

The horse trader coughed while opening the back compartment.  "For shopping.  It's usually a lady's carriage."  They smirked at that but loaded the bags back there.  It got sealed and Dean jammed the opening just in case it flew open on them.  The rest got piled on Xander's side of the carriage.  He got to watch behind them.  The dealer taught Dean how to use reins and it was good.  "Happy travels."

"Thanks."  Dean got to sit up front to drive.  Sammy and Xander could nap in the back.  Once they were outside the area Sam got some of the excess cloth they had been given during their last kidnaping and used it to put up a cover for shade.  Two swords and one behind Dean's back for him to get some too.  Then he sat down and smirked at the boy.  "Let's work on some of the advanced skills, Xander."  Xander nodded, settling in beside him to go over some of the stuff he had missed during his first education.  Math in particular.  The carriage stopped a bit later and Dean got out to find sticks to take the place of the swords.  They rearranged it with Xander's help and it was better.  Higher and off their heads.  More air circulation for their comfort.  When they got bored, Xander took a nap and Sam climbed onto the side and up to help Dean.  "How do we do this?"

Dean showed him and let him drive for a bit.  The horses weren't fancy and they were kind of plodding along.  Sam flicked the reins at them like the westerns on tv did and they sped up a little bit more, then slowed back down. "I think they're farm horses," Dean admitted.

"We don't need the fanciest of the fancy things," Sam assured him.  They saw a stand set up further up the road and shared a look.  Dean got out a few coins in case it was food related but otherwise Sam only slowed the horses down further when they got closer.  It was an older lady who had water and sandwiches.  Dean got them some and woke Xander up so he could eat too.

The woman looked at the young boy then at them.  "You'd expect favored sons to travel in higher gilt carriages."

"We're family," Sam said.  "It's what was available."

She grimaced, looking at the boy then at them.  "You should have a servant."

"We don't need one," Dean said.

Xander finished his current bite.  "I'm not the highborn type.  I do things for myself."

She snorted.  "Someone should take care of you, young man."

Xander stared at her.  "You're not demonic."  The two guys reached for a sword.

She laughed.  "You're right, I'm not."  She changed forms and stood staring at them in her usual glory.

Sam stared.  "Um....  Not to be rude, but are you Athena?"

"Artemis actually."  She smirked at him.  "Ares asked me to watch over the boy until you got settled in."  She looked at him.  "It appears you might be a bit important some year."

"Who he chooses to mate with?" Dean asked.

"That as well."  She patted the boy on the head.  "There is much to learn about putting forth the proper image."

"I don't want to appear to be royal.  Just to learn.  I'm already a princess some days."

She smirked.  "You are.  Around here, as in other realms, your kind are known as Cupid's Burdens."  Xander nodded at that.  "This sort of training suits your kind quite a lot."  She stepped back and looked at the horses.  "Exchange them at the next market.  You need better ones to pull the carriage that far.  It's a good week's journey at their rate or three days with regular ones that pull faster than plow speed."

"We can do that," Dean agreed.  She smiled and nodded.  "Do you have any other advice, ma'am?"

"Stay somewhere relatively decent.  Not too highbrow, not too lowbrow.  He was right about appearing above his station.  He couldn't pull off a highborn child but his condition will elevate him.  They will want him when he's older.  It's best he learn how to play some of those games so he knows when they're going on around him.  Like anyplace that royals grow up, there's intrigue."

Sam nodded.  "We'll keep him out of it as much as possible."

"Good."  She patted the boy on the head.  "I look forward to when you come to Ares' temple for training."  She disappeared.

"Don't freak out, Xander.  It's not a current worry," Sam soothed.  He got into the back with him.  Dean came back too.  "We'll handle it when it happens."

"Yes, guys."  He grinned.  "I'll try really hard to be good."

"Please do," Dean agreed.  "Sammy, go drive."  He went to do that while they settled in to rest in the back.  It was hard work making the horses stay on the road and not go into a field.  They found a market in the next town and they could use good plow beasts.  The new carriage horses were a bit more flashy and faster at pulling the cart.  They got all the way to the next town before they decided to get a room for the night.  Of course the inn was full so they had to stay in the lower class place.  It was kinda dark, dirty, and smelled a bit but it had clean beds and they managed to get some food from the market for the night so Xander wouldn't have to worry about furry creature stew.

***

Sam found the teacher they had been sent to.  Xander and Dean were looking for places to stay.  He knocked on the door, getting a young serving girl.  "I was sent with a letter for the teacher here," he said with a smile.  She let him inside and went to get the teacher.  The older man came out so he handed it over.  "Our younger brother was sent to be taught.  We're with him and he thought it might be good if we were all taught a bit."

He settled into a chair to read it.  Then he looked at him.  "Where is this boy?"

"Dean and Xander are looking at places for rent."

"I'll see him soon?"

Sam nodded.  "You can.  They're going to be this way in about an hour to pick me up from the market up the street."

That got a nod.  "Come back with the boy."  He handed back the letter.  "Do you know of our dances?"

"No, sir.  I was taught the more usual way of using a sword to defend myself.  My family hunts bad things that come after others."  A woman wearing too much perfume strode in and pushed past him.  He nodded politely and she sneered.  "Sorry I was in your way, ma'am."

"Do you know who I am?" she demanded.

"No, ma'am.  This is our first day in town and only our first week in this country."  She gaped.  He shrugged a bit.  "Our younger brother was sent to this one to be taught."

She snorted.  "You're too tall."

He smirked. "I can already fight pretty well.  He's only twelve."  She huffed off.  He looked at the teacher.  "I'll bring him back then."

"You can pay for a teacher?"

"I think so.  We were sent with some loose stones to help cover expenses."

"Hmm."  He stared at him.  "You're one of Cupid's," he said quietly.

"As we were told, around here all three of us are called Cupid's Burdens.  My younger brother is very strong in that gift.  He's also a bit hyper."

"All boys are," he said dryly.  "Lead me to him."  Sam nodded, walking out with him.  Dean and Xander were already in the market looking at the food and the local clothes.  Sam coughed and Xander beamed.  "Guys, this is the teacher we were sent to."

"Hey," Dean said.

"Sam, you have to taste this fruit," Xander said, handing him one out of the bag he was carrying.  "It's *so* good!"  He beamed at the teacher.  "Hi.  Are you going to teach me?"

"We shall see whether you rate teaching or not."  Xander nodded quickly.  He handed Dean the bag and took off the strange bracelet he wore.  "What is that for?"

"To keep him from being kidnaped by those who'd want him," Sam said, nibbling on the fruit.  "This is really good.  Tastes like grapes only with the texture of an orange."

"He liked it a lot," Dean told him.  Xander did what the other teacher showed him.  "He only got time to look him over for a few minutes."

The teacher nodded.  "We can arrange to teach him.  Come back to my house."  They followed him back.  "Did you find a suitable accommodation?"

"I found a decent place that has a good open area and came with beds and a couch, plus an indoor bathroom," Dean told him.  "The neighborhood was nice enough, near a market too."

Sam nodded.  "Sounds like it'll work."

That got a nod from the teacher.  He let Xander into the practice area, settling in to teach him how to move correctly.  The duchess from earlier was still off huffing but that was fine.  He had no idea why she wanted to learn male's dances anyway.  This one showed the start of grace and beauty.  He looked at the other two.  "Do as he did."  They stepped in to move as the boy had.  Not half as good but they were older.  Dean nearly tripped over his feet, making Xander giggle quietly.  "It happens to all of us doing unfamiliar things."

"Dean's usually not the one who trips," Xander told him.

"No, usually I'm a pretty good dancer," Dean admitted.  He tried it again.  This time the teacher nodded.  "We can learn off him if you can't teach us directly.  We were told only young boys got sent."

"In some, the need to learn is there even at the older ages.  It will definitely help you both protect all three of you."  He considered it then looked at Sam.  "You glow."

"I know I'm backed up.  I'll handle that tonight."

He nodded. "See that you do.  Having someone rush in to take you three would ruin my day.  I will see you at second bell tomorrow.  Here." They nodded.  "That's midmorning," he said at Xander's confused look.  "When the second temple's bells chime."  That got a faster nod from the boy.  "Be prepared to sweat.  Wear something comfortable."

"We will," Dean promised. "Should we keep the bigger space?"

"Do so.  He'll need room to practice and so will you."  They nodded and shook his hand, leaving him to his other student.  That one was just odd but one of them showing up usually meant good things for the teacher and the kingdom.  Especially if someone higher up took up the student as their own.  Though the older two seemed very possessive of the younger.  They'd have to see.

n the first few years of teaching him, Xander learned a lot about grace and how his body moved from his teacher and his big brothers training him.  He was getting good attention from those his teacher favored to watch his student.  Dean and Sam had both put their foot down about Xander learning this as a way to capture a good spouse or owner.  He was there to learn how to protect himself, not to get laid as Dean put it.  The local Duke still took a great interest in the boy.  He had him brought to him one day during lessons when his two overprotective helpers were doing something else.  Xander got free of the hands on his arm.  "Let me go, you stupid little excuses for human beings."  They stepped back and he glared at the duke.  "Nice people request a meeting, they don't have me snatched.  I will defend myself."

"I would have but your keepers do guard you very well."

"We're family, they should.  That's why I was given to their family to protect."

"Interesting."  He looked the boy over.  "In a few years you will be stunning."

"In a few years, I'm going to Ares' temple to learn.  As he ordered to help me protect myself."

"You do have a mouth on you," the Duke said dryly.

Xander nodded.  "Which is considered a good trait in my family."  He crossed his arms over his chest, mimicking Dean's 'I'm pissed and you're about to die' stance.  "Why did you have me so rudely captured from my teacher?"

"A boy your age should start thinking about patrons.  With your inferior breeding you won't get much past a Duke unless one of us tithes you to a king."

Xander snorted.  "I'm nowhere near that age yet; I'm only fifteen."

"Around here, boys are often married off at that age, young man."

"I'm not from around here."  He shifted his weight some due to the sore ankle he had turned earlier in the day.  "Nor am I planning on staying here.  I thank you for your interest but I do not need to think about patrons as much as I need to think about protecting myself from those who want to own me."

"One such as you is meant to be owned."

"Yes, but in my home, we have the right to choose and I'll be able to choose someone who wants me for my mind and my body, not just how my hips can move."  He bowed formally.  "If you'll excuse me, Sam must be having kittens.  We don't want to cause an incident by making them storm your home to get me back like they did that dragon last year."  He turned and walked off.  A guard got in his way so he kicked his ass as Dean had shown him.  Then he walked over him, tossing his hair back over his shoulder.  Dean didn't like the longer hair but oh well!  He liked it and it made him stand out more.  Plus gave him a place to hide weapons if he needed them.  Sam and he had picked out some pretty sturdy hair pins and hair daggers for it.  That's the only thing that made Dean relent and not cut it off on him.  And hey, the dragon had started it growing.  He walked outside, finding Dean stomping his way.  "He wanted me to think of patronage."

"No.  You're too young and I'll be damned."  He glared at the mini castle and walked the boy off.  "C'mon.  We're talking about heading to Ares' temple soon."  Xander nodded.  Dean looked at how he was walking.  "Your foot hurt?"

"I turned my ankle earlier."  He grimaced.  "Stupid leaps."

Dean smiled.  "We'll practice at home later."  Xander nodded and they went back home.  It was a good hike from the castle but that was fine.  It let their tempers air out.  They walked in and found Sam sharpening his sword.  "Ares?"

"I said a prayer to Strife and he said it could be opened next month.  We'd have to be out of the city though."  That got a nod.  "So we'll start arranging things.  You okay, Xander?"

"I twisted wrong when I landed from a leap."

"Hmm.  Stretch and try it again."  Xander did that in the open area.  The neighbors downstairs knew he was in training.  Dean and Sam had gotten taught part of the dance that worked well with how they moved.  His teacher was teaching him more advanced techniques.  It did his body good.  He was tall, strong, muscled, but thin.  Apparently that's how they wanted the local dancers.  Later that night someone tried to sneak into the house but Xander stabbed him when he reached for him, making him scream in pain.  Dean opened a window and threw the shrieking man out it.  Then they went back to bed.  They were a lot more tired of people wanting Xander these days.  Sam didn't even wake up this time.  It showed how used to these things they were.

***

Xander got the message while he was stretching the next day.  "Yes, sir," he whispered.  He finished up and went to practice his current moves.  "We'll be leaving in a few days."

The teacher stared at him.  "Because of the Duke?"

"Because it's time for me to go to the temple to train," he said.  He shifted his stance at the odd look he got.  "This one today?"

"Yes.  Let's start where you hurt yourself yesterday, Xander."  The boy moved into that series, not tripping as he landed this time.  He nodded.  The boy still extended too far now and then.  He handed him a sword and let him feel the balance.  He grimaced.  "It is the traditional weapon."

Xander sighed and pulled one out of his hair, letting it expand.  The teacher gaped in awe.  "It was a gift from a friend."  Vesvold had gotten it for him.  He moved with the katana and it was better.  He didn't extend so much.  He started back at the beginning, moving into those that had sword work built in.  Now his body showed the grace that had been trained into it.  He finished panting and sweaty but that was usual for him.  He looked at the teacher, getting a nod.  "I know it's not traditional."

"The other sword was too heavy for you.  This one suits your build and style."  Xander grinned.  "I have nothing left I can teach you."  Xander bowed and he bowed back.  "Try to be safe, Xander.  There are many who would want one such as you."

"Which is why my next stop is at a temple to a God of War."

"Good choice."  He let the boy run home with his sword.  He'd miss the young boy.  The duke had paid him for the interview but he wouldn't miss the fee for finding him a new concubine.  Much.  He'd take in another long term student.

Xander burst through the door.  "They expect us to be near the capitol and the palace."

Sam nodded.  "Okay.  How long will it take us to get there?"

"Ten days and it'll open in thirteen."

"So we'll leave tomorrow," Dean decided.  They finished packing things and Dean went to look for new horses.  They hadn't used the carriage or horses in the first six months so they had sold it off to save paying rental spaces for them.  He found the livestock section of the market and horse trader easily enough.  "We're looking to take the boy home.  That means a carriage since we have to make it to the palace for our trip home in about two weeks.  Less if possible."

The man looked at him.  "Riding singly would be faster."

"He has things.  Two trunks of things and we have about six bags each."

That got a nod.  "A public carriage?"

"Dangerous.  He's just finished his training in the dance."

"Oh."  He tipped his head.  "The young one with the long hair?"  Dean nodded.  "I saw him last year at the celebration dance.  He stood out."

"He's very good."

"Is he going to preform?"

"He learned it to protect himself, not to find a mate."  That was a question they got a lot.  Xander came over to join him, eating a piece of the fruit he liked.  Dean took it to eat a bite then handed it back.  "Do we have any small carriages?"

"I only have one large one," he admitted. "It takes four to draw it."  Xander gave him an odd look.  "My brother used to run a public coach and he quit due to bad money on his run."

"How much would that cost us?" Xander asked, taking another bite.

"Three thousand gold for that and horses."

Xander moaned, shaking his head.  "That's insane."  He looked and pointed at one.  "We only need something about that size."

The trader looked and moaned.  "That is a very fancy one.  It probably cost about five thousand and was specially made by hand."

"I don't need that particular one, just something that size," Xander told him.  He grinned, leaning closer.  "Just something that'll only take two?  We're taking it with me."

He stared at the boy.  "Let me ask someone.  When are you three leaving?"

"Tomorrow," Dean said.  "We have ten days to get to the area outside the palace."

"Hmm."  He went to talk to someone.  Xander saw someone he knew and went to talk to his fellow student.  He saw him and smirked.  The boy had learned the benefit of connections.

"Duchess?"  She turned to look at him and smirked.  "Do you know anyone who's selling their carriage?  We're leaving and have to get to the palace in about ten days for our trip to the next temple I'm to study at."

"You did insult my father."

"Your father had me snatched from my lessons.  I made myself clear that I'm not looking for someone to treat me as an exotic pet.  Beyond that, I'll be out of his sight tomorrow."

"I may know of one.  How big do you need?"  He pointed at that same one.  "That's not a bad size.  Let me talk to someone later.  When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow."

"Hmm."  She went to her friend's house and talk to her.  She was having a cash flow problem but she'd be getting a new carriage with her upcoming wedding.  It was part of the bride price.  She agreed to sell them hers but not the horses.  She summoned Dean and Sam to negotiate and pay her.  She loved some of the treasure they had gotten from the dragon they had to kill to rescue the boy.  The boy was out petting a horse's nose.  "Not the horses, Xander."

"It needed love.  It was looking depressed."

"There's a female in heat up the stable," she told him.  Dean went to get horses for the carriage.  They had learned how to hitch them up very well since they had gotten here.  She smiled as they headed home and the place where they had things hidden.  The owner of the inn they were hiding some of the riches at would pout later but that was fine.  They had all heard about the dragon incident.  It was cute he was so pure.  That would change in a few years.

***

Xander drove the carriage carefully through the portal while Sam and Dean walked them since their eyes were covered.  They came through and he had to go back to get one of the trunks.  It didn't want to come but oh well.  He brought it anyway.  The portal closed behind him and he put it onto the luggage holder on the back of the carriage.  He counted.  "Dean, where's the blue one?"  The portal reopened and it was floated over by him.  Then it closed.  "Thank you!"  He tied them back down and got back in.  Dean was driving this time.  "Which way?"

Ares appeared in a gout of flame beside them.  "Guns?" he asked dryly.

"It killed the dragon that had him," Sam shot back with a smirk.

Ares shook his head quickly.  "Wonderful."  He handed Dean a map.  "Go there. There's a temple to me that has a training area.  A temple to Cupid for you three's needs.  A temple to Strife so Xander can get to know him."  He disappeared.

"Okay," Dean decided.  They headed off, taking the carriage there.  It'd fit in around here too it seemed.  They got a few odd looks for the decorated thing.  "Bought it used," Dean said at one guard's odd look.  That got a nod.  The map had a nice dot that moved with them.  Sam climbed up to take over driving duties so he could get a snack and rest in the back.  Xander was napping.  He smiled.  He was still so young.  Fifteen and still pretty innocent.  It meant they had done a pretty good job.  Thankfully at home it would only be a week or so.

***

Xander walked into the temple of Ares, walking up to the old priest.  "Ares said to come train here," he said respectfully.

The priest sneered at him.  "One such as you should be in Cupid's waiting to be a concubine."

Xander pulled his sword. "I'm no man's until I choose them," he sneered back.  The priest tried to hit him so he ducked the blow and got him from behind, going after him.

Strife appeared and plucked the sword from Xander's hand.  The boy shrugged and beat him anyway.  He hopped up to sit on the altar, watching them go at it.  The boy was clearly frustrated.  He was backed up too.  He sent a thought to Cupid about that.

Cupid appeared.  "Xander?"  The boy ducked another hit and jogged over to him.  "Try this?"  He let him have a special berry they grew around there, but he could see the surge coming so he removed it from him.  "Oops.  Don't let anyone use anything of the berries at my temple.  You're allergic."

"Yes, Cupid.  Thank you."

"Welcome."  He glared at the heaving priest.  "You done yet?  Pops wants this one trained."

"By tha three of us," Strife agreed.  The priest spotted him and went to his knees.  He smirked.  "Xander's an anchor."  The priest moaned.  "Mine, Cupid's, and Ares'."  Ares appeared.  "He decided ta test the boy."

"I saw and heard."  He looked at Xander.  "Bad hair day?"

"Yes," he said with a small pout.  "I can't get out of backlog."

"We'll work on that soon," Cupid promised, patting him on the back.  Sam and Dean walked in.  "Good, you two can take the training too."

"Sure," Sam agreed with a grin.  "It'll only help us later on."

Ares nodded.  "Yes it will."  He looked at Xander, laying a hand on his head.  "A natural berserker."  Xander grimaced but shrugged a little bit.  "We'll have to be careful of that.  For now, Cupid, take him and wear him out?  Even I'm itching for him now."

"Sure.  Guys, no berries for him.  For you two they can help the surges.  Xander's allergic and he'll surge.  We'll never get him down."  He smiled at Xander.  "Go to my temple."  Xander nodded, heading that way.  "You two come in a while.  There's special areas we have built for GHS."  He winked at them and left.  "Sam, backlogged.  You too, Dean," he called as he faded out.

"I'll pay someone later."  Dean looked at the two gods.  "How's things at home?"

"Good.  It's only been four days, guys."  They smiled.  "This trip will only be a few hours in their time."

"Xan's due to pass over in the next four years, in and out of normal time," Strife warned.  They nodded at that.  "Good.  Now, get that fixed?  Please?  It was bad enough Xan's hormones are on a rip."  They smirked but went to fix that.  He shivered, handing Ares the sword.  "Vessie got it for him."

"It's a good sword."  He put it on the altar.  "Give it back to the boy when he comes back tomorrow."  The priest nodded.  "I want him as fully trained as possible.  He has to be able to protect himself.  He's an anchor, a full anchor."  The priest shuddered but nodded.  "His last training was a dance fighting style.  As you saw when you sparred."  He disappeared.  Strife too.

The priest sent up a prayer for their mercy on him and then went to get a drink.  He had to find someone to train that boy.  They had a good one locally so he'd let him spar with the boy in the morning.  All three of the boys really.

***

Xander walked into Cupid's temple and looked up at the pretty designs carved in.  "Wow."

A priestess looked at him.  Then she smiled.  "You are one of His Burdens?"

Xander smiled.  "I am.  I'm Xander.  A level ten."  She moaned.  "He said I'm allergic to the berries."

"Then we will work on those things," she said, leading him to the back areas.  "This symbol on the doors mean that it is specifically for his Burdens.  I am not one but I know that inside are great delights to help ease it so you are not taken as a prize and a burden of another sort."  He smirked at that.  "Good boy.  Go in there and look around."

Xander went inside to look at things.  A few rooms to nap in.  A huge pool.  On the other side of the pool were a few other rooms.  They had dicks on the wall.  "That's...."  He shivered.  "Huh."  He went to look at them.

Cupid appeared.  "What do you know about sex, Xander?"

"Sam taught me what it was for and why it helped me.  He said to hold it off as long as I could because otherwise I'd be stuck with that as my main outlet."  Cupid nodded, smiling at him as he leaned against a wall.  "I've tried myself a few times.  Sam said I could," he said quickly.

"It's a natural urge and a good way of doing that," he assured him.  "I'm going to be teaching you techniques to help you with that.  What do you know about fooling around?"

"Not a damn thing.  They said I'm not old enough yet."

"That's fine," Cupid agreed.  The door opened to admit Dean and Sam.  "Boys, we're going over advanced sex ed and techniques."

"Xander's not sixteen for another six days," Dean said as he joined them.  He had to blush at the walls'... artwork.  "No girls?"

"There's some.  If you can talk one of the priestesses into fooling around." Dean smirked at that.  "After you're out of backlog.  See the bowl with the red berries?"  He pointed and it appeared.  "That will leech it out of you.  Take some.  You and Sam both."  He nodded, going to make his brother take some.  He smiled at the boy.  "Did you peek at the other students?"

"I haven't had any with me since my first month, Lord Cupid."

"Hmm.  That kinda sucks for you.  We'll have to teach you the fun stuff too.  As long as they're near your own age.  For now, we'll keep you on top.  That'll help until you're ready to take a keeper.  They'll appreciate it more."

"Do I have a good one?"

"Two but yes." Xander nodded at that.  "They're going to want to be together.  You'll be the thing that makes them work."  Xander nodded more quickly, looking happier.  "For now, let's get those two settled down.  Like massages?"

"Yup.  Ray showed me those are nice."

"Good."  He created a massage table by the pool and pointed at Sam to get onto it.  Sam slinked over.  "You have got to wear it out more, Sam."  He used some of the juice from the redberries as the oil and it was good.  Sam was moaning and groaning while he worked on him.  "I clearly haven't lost my touch," he teased when Sam got off.

"Never will," Sam assured him.  "Thank you."

Cupid went back to it.  He could tell how backed up he was.  He was nearly a level eight from the backlog.  He got Sam released again and put him into the pool to rest.  Dean had been watching.  "Your turn."  Dean came over and stripped down.  Xander blushed.  "They have the same things you have, Xander."  He nodded at that, still blushing.  Cupid smiled.  His plan would work very well.  He crushed some of the berries to help Dean let go, making him come too.  Dean went limp and happy.  "Into the pool.  On the toys or not," he said in his ear.  Dean nodded, getting into the pool to stretch out and relax.  He looked at Xander.  "Your turn."

"I have to get naked?"

"Yup."  Xander stripped quickly and nearly dove onto the table.  "We'll teach you to appreciate your body, Xander.  It's a wonderful thing and you'll need to appreciate it."  He got some regular oil once he had cleaned his hands.  Dean and Sam were both lethargic but Sam could use a bit more stimulation.  "Sam, next to you is a toy.  Use it."

Sam blushed.  "I've never...."

Cupid changed it so it was smaller.  "That shouldn't hurt.  You can sit in on Xander's lectures.  You too, Dean.  Almost all male GHS members are bi."  He got to work on the boy's tense shoulders.  He had him at the putty stage within minutes and it was good.  He smiled when the boy got off the first time.  Xander moaned.  Dean looked back so Cupid nodded at him to handle Sam.  Dean took the simple way of doing it.  He picked him up and made him shift over. Sam struggled a bit but Cupid sent some oil to help ease the way.  Sam moaned at that feeling.  "It'll help, Sam.  It's very tiny.  About finger width.  It won't hurt."

Sam sighed but let it slip into him while Dean held his arms.  He settled on it and it did feel good.  Cupid made it vibrate lightly when Sam didn't do more than sit on it.  Sam  yelped but it was good.  Dean snickered quietly.  Cupid got him too.  Dean moaned.  "Thank you.  Before I have to go jump Strife again."  He went back to the boy under his hands.  He took off his bracelet.  "This way we can wear it out the natural way."  Sam got off again.  Dean a minute later.  Then they both blushed.  "I'm sure you two spanked in all those motel rooms you stayed in," he taunted.

"In the bathroom and only when Dad wasn't there," Sam defended.  "That way we didn't get caught."

"Here, you need to revel in it, Sam.  The more you revel in your nature, the easier it is on you.  The only thing I mind is non-consensual sex or with a real kid.  Xander's fine as long as they're near his own age.  You guys can have all the fun you want."  He stared at Sam.  "I'll expect you to join Xander in his lessons, Sam."

"Yes, Cupid."

"Thank you."  He got the boy off again and Xander purred. He smiled, letting the boy turn into the GHS purr kitty he was meant to be.  Xander finally finished his backlog release and was better.  He got him off one last time and it was perfect.  "This is what you should feel like all the time, Xander.  If you feel like this, you're not backlogged, not in danger, and in less danger of being stolen."  Xander looked at him, nodding.  "Good boy.  Now, into the pool to soak.  I don't want you to do more than touch the toys for now."  He helped the boy into it and made the massage table disappear.  He smirked at the two older ones.  "All GHS revel.  Xander's meant to be a favorite, pampered pet some year soon but he needs to be able to protect himself.  He'll move into that in the next few years.  You two need to loosen up."  He disappeared.  He had to find the good picture books to teach Xander with.  Sam would throw a hissy fit worthy of Aphrodite with a pimple if he used people to demonstrate things.

Dean looked at Sam.  "You good?"

"A bit freaked out but really calm."

"I like this calm feeling," Xander said from his end of the pool.   He looked at them.  "Do you guys get to be purr kitties too?"

"I feel like one," Dean admitted.  Xander came over to cuddle him.  "Thanks, Xander."  He pulled Sam over so Xander could cuddle him too.  Their father would *not* believe they had gotten off from massages done by the God of Love and Lust.

***

Xander showed up for his lesson at Ares' the next morning, bowing at the altar as he saw the others do.  The priest from yesterday stopped him and stared for a minute before handing him his sword. "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  There's a higher teacher here to see how good you are."  Xander nodded, following him to the private practice area.  A young man stood there in leathers.  "This is him."

The warrior looked at him.  "Where did you learn?"

"There's another realm that has a dance and movement style that tells a story.  Half of those have sword work because it tells the tale of a warrior's life.  I spent the last three years learning there."

The warrior nodded slowly.  "So you dance?"

"Some.  There's some katas built in."

"Do them in order so I can judge what you can do."  He looked at the sword, nodding at it.  "For now that is fine.  We'll teach you multiple weapons by the time you're done here."

"It was a present."

"Did you name it?" he sneered.

"It's not a pet."  That got a smirk.  Xander moved into the first sword kata.  The men stared.  He backed off.  "Sorry, a few have leaping moves."  He went back to it.  He knew he looked good.  His hair was braided down his back.  He had decided to wear the thin pants he did for practicing.  He had some leather pants but Dean had given him an odd look when he came down wearing them.  He moved into the second one when the first was done.  This one was a bit more athletic.  It showed the muscles he had developed very well.

"It looks like something one of Cupid's people developed," the older priest said.

"I'm one of his Burdens," Xander said with a grin.  "That's why Lord Strife sent me there to learn."

"That's an understatement," the younger one said.  "The priestesses said they had a new, high level."  Xander waved a hand.  Then he got back to it.  He smirked at the third one's moves.  Not always practical.  The fourth was more practical in a war situation.  Some were more dance oriented, some were more fight oriented.  The two who guarded him came to help.  "Can you do these?"

"We learned parts that spoke to us," Dean admitted.  "Sammy learned a lot more of the celebration and sexual parts while I learned the fighting sequences and the sexual parts."  That got a nod and they joined in with the katas they knew.  The trainers stared at them.  Xander did a flashy looking turn and they stared at him.

"Do that again," the older priest said.

"Which part?"

"From before the turn."  Xander closed his eyes and stepped back into that part of the rhythm.  They hummed in appreciation.  He kept going and it was very good.  They watched both sets.  They all moved very well now.  The older two clearly had more traditional sword work training as well.  Xander could start on that now.  Xander finally stopped, panting and sweating.  "You have good endurance.  There's a well behind the tree.  The three of you drink and then we'll work on sparring."  They did that and Dean reminded Xander to stretch before he cramped up.  The boy did that against the low wall back there.  The teachers shared a look.  Ares had need of having this one trained so he must have a reason.  Apparently the one who would own him would need his help protecting him.  They brought the boys back to work with.  Dean did good sparring with Sam.  Xander learned how to do it from them then faced the teacher.  The teacher nodded at them to practice off to the side.  Xander he took in hand and showed him the more traditional methods.  The boy wove it into what he could already do.  Which was what Ares wanted since he looked pleased when they caught him watching from the wall he was leaning on.  Strife was sitting beside him, staring in awe.

"Xander, do the one with the capturing," Sam called.  Xander shrugged and moved to do that against the teacher.  It showed the best of his moves and skills.  The teacher was hard put to defend against it but he found a few openings.  The boy got a nick once.  He hissed but kept going.  He finally disarmed him and pinned him, grinning.

Ares nodded.  "Good job, Xander."  He looked at the teachers.  "Teach him the traditional methods so he can bring them into that style."  They nodded, getting up to go at it the usual way.  Xander moved well learning with them.

Strife looked up then at Xander.  "Boys, clean up, head to Cupid's."  They bowed to their trainers and did that from the well then hiked over there.  "So?" he asked.

"He has not much I can teach him," the priest said.

"His guard slips and he needs to transform the formal moves that they practiced into practical experience," the warrior noted.  "Any more growth spurts?"

"One," Strife said.  "He's nearly full height but he'll fill out some."

"He looks very ...alluring as thin as he is," the priest said grimly.

"He'll need this to keep him from being stolen by every demon and being who wants him," Ares told them.  "It is his life and health."  They nodded and went to prepare for the next lesson.  The boy had worn them out.  "I wasn't sure you were right about that training style but it seems to suit him," he said quietly.

Strife beamed.  "I knew he'd do good.  Even if the Duke did try ta claim him as a concubine."  He hopped down.  "Do you like Cupe's plan?"

Ares considered it.  "I could like it."  He disappeared, going to watch the other class work.  He started a breeze when he noticed a few of the warriors were hard from the pheromones all three had put off while working out.  He sent a message to Cupid to have Xander wear the bracelet when he was at his temple.  They were coming along.  Not bad for the most part.  A few needed a swift kick from him, and got it, literally, but they'd learn.

***

Xander and Sam walked into the back section, finding Cupid playing with his son.  "Want us to give you more time?"

"Nah, Bliss is cool."  He kissed him on the head.  "Go herd Dean this way too.  He can go over it with Xander."  He let his son fly off.  "Talk the priestess into making cookies too."  He patted the pillow beside him and Xander sat there.  "Good boy."  Dean got shoved in and the door closed.  "Hit on the pretty ones later, Dean."  He opened the first book in the set in front of him.  "I know Sam went over mechanics and all that.  We're going to go over the specifics and how they help a GHS member."  He opened it and went through each picture with the boy.  At the blow job ones even Dean blushed.  "Believe it or not, but giving one can help the GHS member wear out a bit of it."

"Why not receiving?"

"Receiving's good too, but giving still wears some out," Cupid told him.  "Something in jizz calms down the pheromone production."

"Huh," Dean said.  He looked at the picture.  "That's pretty stiff of the guy giving."

"It is, but they're stylized."  He grinned at Xander, who was still blushing.  "I know, you've never seen it.  I'd teach you by letting you watch but Sam would throw a fit like Mom when she's got a zit."

"If I did that would I end up being theirs?" Xander asked.

"No.  Only you can say who you belong with.   You can have tons of fun.  Now, with your hormones they could decide they own you.  Like if you gave in to some pressure from one of the suitors, they'd probably see that as you being theirs."  Xander nodded at that.  "But it doesn't mean you can't get down in the clubs."  Xander grinned but went back to blushing.  "We'll teach you about that too, Xander.  We have more power here so we can teach you more things."  He turned the page. "Another position it works in."  Xander stared.  This time the guy was on his knees and looked more comfortable.  "Generally any position you can reach it in comfortably for both of you is good."

Xander nodded so he turned the page.  "This is the preparation section.  Girls need some working up to it.  See, girls get slick on their own.  Guys need lube to be applied.  Girls only need lube applied if they're not adding enough of their own or you're going for anal sex with them."  He went back to the girl's picture.  "Lots and lots of areas make girls hot.  You have to try to see what each girl likes.   Some like harder touches, some like lighter ones.  Some like their breasts to be played with.  Some don't.  Some like to be licked, some don't.  Some like to be touched and some refuse to do anything if you might possibly be able to look at them there."

"Those sort are kinda boring," Dean told him.  "It's always better to be with someone who wants to play with you like you wanna play with them.  There's times for hot, heavy, take it now sex, but more often girls and guys like it to last more than five minutes against a wall."

"Dean!" Sam said, looking shocked.

"He'll probably do that at least a few times, Sammy.  We're doing this the realistic way.  Yeah, dating's good but some people do want it on the first date and some want it in the bathroom while clubbing."

Sam shook his head.  "He shouldn't be going for that."

"Sometimes that's good, even when you're with someone," Cupid told him.  "You and Jess didn't?"

"She wouldn't do that with me.  She was kinda shy."

"Huh."  He shook his head.  "Some girls are like that.  Each girl's different."  He grinned at Xander.  "You'll figure out what sort of girl draws you in when you want girls."

"What if I don't want girls?"

"Then you can figure out what sort of boy draws you in and makes you hard," Cupid assured him.  "I know very well you're bi.  I also know that before the curse you were very much a 'let me pleasure you' lover but you were liking being on the bottom for gay sex."  Xander stared at him.  "I went back and checked."

"Can I remember that?  That way you don't have to go into all this?"

"Sorry, kiddo.  Can't."  Xander grimaced.

"Whorehouse?" Dean suggested.

"It's a practical way but we still want to keep that pure as long as possible.  It'll only make him want it more when it happens and he'll need that to be able to wear it out.  Now, I do want him to stay on top until he's ready to be steadier.  The ones he'll end up with may want it that way."

"You know who it'll be?" Dean asked.

"I have a good idea down to a list of possibly ten or so.  With him being an immie too that can cause a lot of problems.  Since it seems like his hormones liked him being on the bottom best, let's keep that until he's ready to settle down unless it's an emergency to save him from something."

"Are they demonic?" Sam asked quietly.

"Do you want to go to one of them?" Dean asked Xander.

Xander shook his head.  "No.  Maybe Vesvold, but not really.  I like Vesvold but I'm not sure I can do that stuff with him.  Plus I learned that his people are pretty rare and it could hurt his standing with them.  They could try to kill him for that and I'd be miserable.  He's my friend."

Cupid nodded.  "That's a very mature choice.  You and he can talk about that when you go back."  Xander nodded at that, snuggling against his side.  He smiled, putting an arm around his shoulders.  How could you not love Xander?  He picked up a different book, letting him flip through that.

Dean looked then at him.  "I brought two Hustlers with me, Cupid."

He beamed.  "That's got to have better pictures than I do in these."  He summoned them, looking at the gun.  Then at Dean.

"It helped us kill the dragon that wanted him."

"Fine."  He let the boy see the first set of pictures, watching him blush.  "That's what a naked woman looks like.  Each one's a bit different.  These got airbrushed so there's no scars or fat."  Xander pointed.  "That's their sex, yeah."  He grinned.  "You'll have a lot of fun trying that out some year soon."  He and Dean pointed out the basic structures, what you did to it and didn't do to it.  There were some shots of guys doing girls so they got that part down too.  Xander was fully blushing but he was also hard by then.  Cupid let him go soak in the pool while the older two got lectures on GHS morality versus regular human morality, including that they were immortals and had a really long life ahead of them.  Being bored with sex would only cause them problems.  He sent Dean to play with the priestesses.  They could use hit on.  Sam went to examine the rooms.  Cupid went to help Xander learn how to touch himself better.  He was trying not to and it was only going to hurt him more.

***

Six months after Xander turned sixteen the inevitable happened.  He got a date with one of Ares'  younger female students.  She was his age, a few weeks older, and cute.  Dean talked Xander how to do date things.  Sammy went over his idea of a good date.  Then they waited up half the night until Xander came home dazed and wobbling.  Dean looked at him.  "She good?"

"She wanted to get rid of the virgin problem."  He flopped down next to them, cuddling Sam.  "I think she was happy.  I hope she was making those noises because she was happy."

"I'm sure she was, Xander," Sam said, stroking over his back.  "Feel any different?"

Xander shrugged.  "Not really.  Kinda tired."  He looked at them.  "Kinda wired too."

"That's the hormones kicking into overdrive," Dean told him.  Xander held up his bracelet.  "Good idea."  He gave him a kiss on the head.  "Go sleep.  You still have training tomorrow."  He went to do that.  Dean grinned.  "That's my boy," he said proudly.  "Got some on his first date."  Sam gave him a dirty look.  "You did."

"I know I did.  She jumped me and had her way with me until I caught my breath and flipped her over."  He shifted.  "Think she's okay?"

"I think we'd have heard about it if she wasn't," Dean told him.  That got a nod.  "Let's hit the sack.  We've all got training tomorrow."  Sam nodded, fleeing to his room.  Dean gave his back an odd look.  "I didn't know he had a thing for virgins," he muttered.  "Have to poke that now and then so he quits blushing."  He went up to his room, imagining his favorite liaisons in the past so he could drift off and sleep too.  He heard Sam, who was on his other side, doing the same.  One name hit him and he stared at the wall.  "Really?" he asked himself.  "That's very interesting."  He considered it.  None of the three of them were really related.  They were 'brothers', not brothers.  Sammy would be able to protect Xander pretty well.  Hell, Xander could protect Sammy just as well.  He considered it, picturing them in his head.  Yeah, he could see that.  It was getting him harder than thinking about one of his many girls did.  He clearly needed to pin Sammy to  a wall tomorrow to talk to him.  If that's what he wanted, they weren't related and that was fine with him.  Not like they didn't know all of Xander's faults and Xander knew all of theirs too.  Plus it'd let Sam have his 'normal life' again.

***

Xander bounced up to the high priestess who was helping Cupid teach him the next afternoon, babbling about it with her in Greek.  None of the others around there knew ancient Greek so he was okay on the secrecy part.  She squealed and hugged him, taking him aside to talk to him about what had happened.  He wanted to make sure those were happy noises since he was pouting that the girl wouldn't talk to him today.

Dean nudged Sammy into one of the quiet rooms.  He shut the door and looked at him.  "Heard you last night."

"Oh, God.  It just slipped out, Dean.  I swear."

Dean shrugged.  "We're not related, Sammy."  Sam gaped at him.  "If he's the one you crank for, then you've got my blessing and I'll keep Dad from saying shit."

Sam sat down, thinking about that.  Dean had clearly only heard part of the depraved, kinky thing his mind had come up with last night.  It must have come from where the demon tainted him.  It had to.  He wasn't like that.  He looked at Dean. "That's not my usual thing."

Dean shrugged. "I'm not gonna say a thing, Sammy.  You might wanna go slowly."

"I know how old he is."

"Good!"  He grinned. "Then I'll help cover for it.  Just ...don't share details."

"I won't."  He ducked his head, blushing a lot now.  "This is so wrong."

"No more wrong than foster kids getting it on," Dean said quietly.  He left him to think, going to the back room.  Cupid was looking very amused.  "So, them in the possible list?"

"He's one of a pair that I could see."  He smirked.  Dean went pale.  "The same rules apply to you two as well."

"Shit."

"Yeah, heard you all last night.  Xander was thinking about what might happen if he was in her place."  He shrugged.  "It's usual."  Xander squeaked.  "Hey.  Not a problem.  Plenty of boys do when they're bi."

"You had to tell him?" he sulked.

"Yeah.  Just that part. The rest is confidential."  Dean nodded at that, giving him a look. Cupid smirked.  "C'mon, Xander.  How did it go?"

"She was making squeaky noises."

"Those are good noises.  Unless she said 'no, stop, get off me', it's all good."

"She did so I stopped and she gave me a hurt look but caught her breath and made me do something other than touching and exploring."  He pouted.  "Was I mean?"

"No, she was feeling overloaded.  Some women do, especially their first few times until they learn what orgasms feel like."  He gave the boy the hug he needed.  "Were you respectful?"  Xander nodded.  "You were polite?"

"Very."

"Good boy."

"Then why won't she talk to me today?"

"She only wanted that one thing from you, not to *date* you," Dean told him.  "Some girls like only doing that.  Some girls wanna date, like Sammy's Jess did.  Remember, we talked about girls who only wanted a quick thing in the bathroom in the club?"  Xander nodded.  "She felt that's all she wanted."

Cupid looked over the boy's head.  "Pops said to break herself in," he mouthed.  Dean rolled his eyes. "He's right though, Xander.  She only wanted that from you.  If you still act like you're okay with her she'll relax once she figures out you don't want her again."

"Okay.  I guess.  I feel kinda cheap."

"They can do that to you," Sam agreed as he walked in.  He gave the boy a hug.  "It's all good, Xander.  I promise.  Next time it'll be better and not a fast thing so you get played with too."

Xander beamed.  "You think so?"

"I know so."  He ruffled his hair and stood up, looking at Cupid.  "How's his backlog today?"

"It's pretty far down.  He had a slight surge last night but nothing too bad."  He gave the boy a squeeze.  "C'mon, we'll talk about what you did and could've done."  Xander nodded, letting himself be walked off so he could ask questions about that and if it was different with boys when you did that.  "Guys, get cozy in the pool before I insert them myself."  They stripped down and went to work on their own backlogs.  Cupid had made sure they weren't shy around each other anymore and any needs they had were clearly fixed.  The best way for Sam to stay out of backlog was for Dean to nag him it seemed and Dean liked to hide his own skills from everyone.  Xander blushed but looked back there.  Cupid smiled, leading him into a room they could talk in but he could see out if he wanted.  He checked, Sam had the same tiny, finger width one in him.  Dean had a good, human sized one.

"Does doing that hurt?"

"For the first few seconds, yeah. Then you get used to the stretching."  Xander nodded, pointing at one enormous dildo attached to the wall.  "That you'd have to work up to."

"Some demons are bigger than that."

"Yup."

"Why do I wonder about that stuff?"

"Your last life.  At the brothel you tried it a few times."  He pointed at one.  "One about that size only shorter."  Xander shivered.  "You're not ready for that yet."

"No I'm not."  He glanced out there and blushed.  "Is it wrong to want to watch?"

"No.  It's a human thing."  He smiled at the boy.  "Give it some time, Xander.  You never know who might feel the same way about you."

"Do guys taste like girls?"

"No.  Guys taste kinda salty and they leak into your mouth.  Guys are less slick and more solid liquid too."

"Oh."

He smiled.  He had an idea but Xander had to be a bit older.  He looked up to talk to his father and Strife, both of whom agreed.  The boy knew all the proper prayers.  "Xander, we've talked to you about being an anchor before, right?"

"Yeah.  That anchors hold you guys steady so you don't fade away."

"They do.  And you are in a unique spot to take over an anchor's position.  You serve me and Strife with the GHS stuff, and Ares with the protection stuff.  Plus a few others in more minor ways.  Hecate with the small magics you can do, all that stuff."  Xander nodded slowly.  "We're going to talk about you taking over an anchor's spot for us."

"Did one die?"

"We can have as many as we want.  One doesn't have to die for one to take over.  But it would help us find you easier when you've been taken.  It'd let us help you when you lose control during a fight.  Because we know you will some day.  It'll help me when you surge to help you bring it back down."

"Do I have to do a ritual?"

"Around here it has to be a more tangible thing.  We'd put our marks on you."  Xander nodded at that, looking confused.  "Like tattoos."

"Oh."  He frowned.  "Do I have to do anything?"

"Pray daily.  Let us meddle now and then?  Nothing you're not already doing."  Xander considered it.  "You can talk to the guys about it tonight.  Sammy's part mine and Athena's.  Dean's a Chosen Warrior in all but marking to Pops.  Slightly toward Artemis too.  For an anchor you have to hold at least three areas of three different gods."

"Oh."  He frowned. "Are there ones at home?"

"There's an Immie named Jace.  She runs a sanctuary resort on holy ground in Las Vegas.  You'll meet her during the next convention.  We'll make sure of it."  He grinned.  "It would let us help you more when you needed us to but you'd have to keep a small shrine or something to us."

"We're on the road."

"By the time you get back, you're going to be eighteen."  Xander gaped.  "You're aging at the local rate, kiddo."  He smirked.  "Also, that means you can settle down and mange your own money, well, have someone manage it for you really.  That's like making a household budget, doing the checkbooks, all that stuff.  We're going to talk about that before you go too.  That way you can find a good spot and shelter those two."  He looked out there.  "Sammy, shift forward."  Dean moved over to help him by whispering in his ear.  Sam got off but he looked miserable.  "Let me talk to Sam.  You talk to Dean about the anchor stuff."  He flashed him and Sam off to go over what he was feeling guilty about before he had another surge.

Xander walked out, stripping down and sliding into the pool.  "Cupid said we need to talk about me being an anchor."

Dean looked at him.  "Ares mentioned that the other day."  He sat him beside him so he didn't have to stare at his body.  "What does it mean?"

"It means that I'd be holding part of their power steady anywhere I was.  They could help me if I needed them to.  Like if I finally step over into berserker mode Ares could help draw me back."  Dean nodded. "Cupid could help with the bad surges."

"And in return you'd have to...."

"Keep a shrine to them."  He looked at Dean.  "He said I'll be eighteen when I go back."

"Hell, I had no idea it'd be that long," Dean admitted.  Xander nodded.  "So you'd be able to settle down somewhere?"

"Which he said could shelter you two too."

"It can," he agreed with a smile.  "It'd give us a place to rest besides Bobby's."  He gave the boy a hug around the shoulders.  "We'd still be roving hunters."

Xander looked at him.  "What if they find out you're immortal?"

Dean hissed.  "That could get us killed."

"Ares said something about another hunter calling Pastor Jim, who called John, about you two taking dark deals because of all the demons who've kidnaped us."

"Fat chance," he said dryly.  "We'll straighten that out.  If we have to, we'll hide in a slightly new life.  Still doing something to help hunters but not traveling.  Though I'll miss traveling."

"What if you handled anything within a state?" Cupid asked as he reappeared with Sam. "He's better now," he said at Dean's look.

"We can do that.  Bobby basically does that.  A lot of hunters who get to middle age take that route and then take in students.  Xander's going to draw a lot of demons to him anyway."

"Even after he's mated."  He smirked.  Dean arched up an eyebrow.  He winked.  Dean scowled.  Cupid nodded.  "It's better."

"Maybe."

"Is there a way we can call John?  That way he's not worried?"

"Nope, sorry," Cupid said.  "You'll be home soon their time."

"Ares told him something about a hunter trying to go after us because of all the demons?"

"Yup.  Word's gotten around that he's the same sort of demon magnet Sam is and it's drawn a lot of them to you guys.  He's jealous and that's why he's said you two are demon whores."

"Fat fucking chance I'll go that way," Dean said warmly.

Xander patted him on the chest, snuggling into his side.  "We know you have better taste than that."  Dean smirked at him.  "You do.  You only like pretty girls with big breasts."  Sam laughed.  "He does!"

"He does.  As many of them as will give him play," Sam agreed dryly.  He looked at Dean.  "What's the DT?"

"Him being an anchor."

"It's a good deal for him," Sam said, sitting on Xander's other side.  Xander pulled him over to cuddle.

"Hey!  I didn't need you both hugging," Dean complained.

"Shut up," Xander teased with an evil grin.  "Before I have to get others to cuddle and coo over you too.  Ares wants me to learn how to use my hormones offensively."  He hugged Sam, making him stiffen for a minute then go limp.  "Are you okay?  Did I hurt you in practice?"

"No, you didn't hurt me.  I had some strange thoughts last night."  He gave him a squeeze. Xander beamed and went to look at the toys in the pool again.  He looked at Cupid.  "Is there anywhere you'd like him to set up?"

"Somewhere safe.  I don't care otherwise.  Pick a location based on the weather and find a house.  Have it blessed."  He shrugged.  "We can bless it for him and it'll still be holy ground."  They gaped.  He smirked.  "Anchors are like higher priests, dudes."  He gave them the classic thumb's up gesture then disappeared.

"Cupid, when do I find out how you wanted me to learn that stuff we were talking about?"

"I'll call them later, Xander.  It'll be a few more months."

"Okay."  He went back to looking.  "Did you know there's people with *huge* cocks?  Cupid has a few in the room over there."

Dean blushed at that.  "I prefer normal size ones.  I know some size queens want it big all the time but not my thing."

Xander shrugged. "I'm trying to figure out what my thing is."

"You'll figure it out. You're still young, Xander," Sam offered.  That got a nod and they got out, dried off, and went to the market to find something for dinner.  Two warriors who weren't with the temple tried to jump them for Xander, but Xander managed to get one and Dean got the other one.  The local guards came to take them away.  They checked Xander over.  They'd heal but he was still mortal.

Strife appeared, tipping Xander's face up.  "Good job."

He grinned weakly.  "Guys like that suck.  One tried to pull my hair."

"I know.  They do suck."  He patted him on the head.  "Think about being an anchor tanight.  We'll do it tamorrah."  He disappeared.

"We need to talk about that," Dean agreed.  He found dinner and guarded them on the way back to their rented place.  Xander went to take a real bath before dinner so the water had time to warm for their baths later.  He looked at Sammy.  "He straighten you out?"

Sam nodded.  "He did."  He grinned.  "Thanks, Dean."

"Eh, I'm not good with the girly stuff.  Never will be no matter how long I live."  He smirked.  "Where do we want him to settle down so we can pop in?"

"Kansas?  Florida?  Pick an area.  How does he feel about snow and tornados?"

"Don't know," Dean admitted.  Xander came down in some thin pants and no shirt.  "Comfy?"

"Very.  The others are too tight again."

"We'll donate them to the temple and get you more clothes," Sam promised with a sigh at the end.  Xander gave him a sheepish look.  "Growing happens to all of us, Xander."

"I know.  Kinda sucks since I'm growing more than I need to."

"You'll grow however much your body wants," Dean corrected.  "Or else Sammy would be a normal size instead of as big as the Statue of Liberty."

Xander laughed.  "If you say so."  He settled in to eat dinner with them.  Sam drew up water for the later baths, putting it on the hearth to warm while they ate.  When they were done, Xander went up to his room to read the dirty scroll the priestess had given him.  It was smutty and good for him she said.  He could put the knowledge of what women tasted like into that and make it better.

Downstairs both Winchesters looked up and smirked at the noises Xander made.  "Damn, he's noisier than you are, Sammy.  I didn't think there was a worse shrieker at that age."

"Dean!" he complained.  Dean just gave him a smug look and went to take the first bath.  Sam thumped his head on the table.  Xander's noises were going to drive him insane soon!  If Dean didn't.

***

Xander knew he was in trouble the next morning.  He was late for practice.  He was backlogged even with the bracelet.  He was slinking like a sex kitten.  He gave the priest over his training a pitiful look.  "I had to stop to get something to eat.  I overslept and they didn't get me up."

He stared at him.  "Go to Cupid's, Xander.  Now.  Before we have an orgy over here."  Xander ran off to do that.  He went to tell the two adults.  "You two didn't wake him?"

"Someone broke in to try to steal Dean last night.  We were handing them to the guards," Sam admitted.  "Is he late?  We can get him up."

"He's headed to Cupid's.  He's clearly broadcasting."

"Shit," Dean said, heading off to help the boy.  Sam was right behind him.  The priestess who helped them stopped them.  "What happened?"

"One of the merchants in town slipped Xander one of the berries.  He's in a surge.  We need someone to find out who and why."

"I can do that," Strife said as he appeared with a person beside him.  The guy was whimpering.  "He gave it to him."

Dean pulled him up and walked him off.  If he had to beat the information out of him, he would.  He brought him back a few minutes later bloodier and wailing in misery.  "Someone paid him to drug Xander.  That way they could take him in the confusion.  They know he's allergic to the berries."  He handed him back to Strife.  "Lord Coravant?"

"Piss drinker," Ares said from his spot.  "I'll have him dealt with."

"Yes I will be," Strife assured him.  He looked at the boys.  "We've gotta break the surge.  It's been too long so it's in his blood stream."

"The anchor thing, would it help?" Sam asked.

"It would only link to him in extreme circumstances," Ares said.  "Otherwise we'd have already done that."

"Fight," Dean said.  "He drops out of it when he's in danger."

"Not a bad idea."  They pulled the boy out there and tossed Dean a sword, then Xander his.  Dean attacked and Xander dropped back into his mind to fight him off.  Ares groaned, trying his best to bring him out.  Sam ended up having to join in to save Dean from dying.  Xander was coming out of it, but too slowly.

"Xander!" Strife snapped, pulling at the link he already had to Xander.  The boy fell to his knees in front of him.  "That's my boy," he said, petting him like he would one of the dogs of war that was growling.  "Shh, come back, Xan.  You gotta come back."  Xander choked back a sob as he came back to his right mind, trying to move.

"No," Dean ordered.  He stopped him.  "I stepped in to help, Xander.  You didn't hurt me."

"I didn't know it was you!" he said, getting away from them.  "I'm like some rabid dog!"

"Only when you're threatened that much," Sam said, trapping him.  The boy looked at him.  "Really.   You don't do it all the time.  If you did, we'd have fixed it before now."  He pulled the boy closer.  "You got in a few good blows to protect yourself but we're not hurt.  I promise."  Xander gave him a look.  "Honestly, we're not."  Dean stole him, letting the boy check him over. Then he came over to check Sam over.  He nearly got sick at the healing cuts he saw.  "Hey, I had to help.  They drugged you."  Xander was made to look at him.  "They drugged you to get you to surge. That way they could snatch you."  Xander sat down right there.  "Honest, they did."

"Why?"

"If you surged in public it'd be an orgy," Ares said.  "They would've taken you in the distraction.  Dean jumping in got you out of the surge in the most handy way.  We need to find a better way."  He pulled the boy up, staring at him.  "Are you ready to be marked, Xander?"

He swallowed but nodded quickly.  "If it'll stop that."

"It'll help.  You have control over it."  He patted him on the cheek with a smirk.  "Cupid, we need your altar."

"Go for it.  Be there soon."

"Strip and get up there," Strife ordered.  Xander did that.  He was blushing since others could see.  "You don't look bad, Xan.  Be proud you're hot."

"I don't want people to want me."

"They'll drool because you're hot," Ares said patiently.  "Not because of your hormones.  They can see you before they can smell you."  He moved to one side.  Strife moved to the other.  They waited on Cupid to get done with his thing to wear out the extra energy and join them.  Then they pulled up the areas Xander had strengths and gifts in, letting the powers mark the boy.  He winced and hissed but that was fine.  The marks went deep into his skin at his waist.  It created a small girdle line around his hipbones and down into his pubic hair.  Then around to his rear.  Three marks trailed down from it to his butt crack.  The tail of the last one slid into the crevice as it trailed off.  They sealed power into them, making him a powerful anchor.  The boy went limp and panted.  They each kissed him on the head then let him sit up.

"Wow," Dean said.  "Nice light show."  All three gods gave him a dirty look.  He grinned back.  "It was."

"I see ones to Hecate, Artemis, and Athena," Sam said, looking them over.  "A lot to Cupid, Strife, and Ares.  One to Aphrodite.  No, two."  He turned him around to look.  The trailing three that hung like a tail were all Cupid's.  Sam gave him an odd look.

"The boy's ass is meant to inspire lust and sin."  He smirked.  "It fits his nature."  He tested Sam and frowned.  "Huh.  You do meet up to the three areas, barely."  He tested Dean.  "Mirror images of your strong areas.  Athena?"  She appeared, looking at the naked young man.  "This is Xander, our newest anchor."

"He's well marked."  She stared at it then nodded.  "Very well marked."  She looked at the other two and nodded.  "They can be ours.  Dean holds some of Strife's area, Cupid's, and Ares, plus a bit of mine and Artemis.  Ares, Cupid's, and Artemis's lines are strong enough."  She tested Sam while Artemis joined them.  "You were one of mine but also one of Ares' and Cupid's. A bit of Artemis' area due to the demon hunting.  A little bit of Strife's."  He nodded.  "Very well then.  You're both strong enough.  Are they willing to be marked?"

"Guys?" Ares asked.

"It'd help and we'd only have to send up the occasional prayer?"

"At your level, existing and the sudden prayers are good," Ares agreed.  They nodded and started to strip down.

"Not in front of some of us, boys."  Artemis came up to do the marks on their shoulders.  On the back side.  Both boys hissed as the marks were applied, Xander was holding their hands for them.  They sealed the power in and let it fade, looking at the mirror image figures.  Well, and flipped over in Sam's case.  The one to Athena was larger than the one to Artemis.  The one to Artemis was larger and on top in Dean's merged tattoo.  Each of the boys sent up a silent prayer of thanks, and they all smiled at the power that came.  Xander sent up his own and Cupid banished him back to the back areas to handle the remains of the hormone surge from earlier.

Ares looked at Athena. "Someone gave the young one some berries he's allergic to so he'd surge and they could snatch him in the confusion."

"That would've created an orgy in the market.  Hera would not be pleased," Artemis pointed out.

"Only with the increase in the birth rate," Cupid said dryly.  He heard Xander think about something and sent back a 'no, not yet' to him.  He looked at Sam, who blushed.  "He's wondering about some technique issues."

"How would I know?"

"I'll go help him," Dean offered, grabbing his shirt.  "Thanks, guys.  Sorry about practice today, Ares."

"You both looked very good today," he praised.  "The boy too."  They smirked and headed back there.  Ares looked at them.  "Strife, handle him. I want him begging for mercy in front of Hera later on."  Strife cackled as he disappeared. "Let me talk to John."  He disappeared, landing in the farmhouse they were in.  Bobby looked up from his chess game.  "The boys are fine," he promised.  "Marked but fine."

"What could scar them?" John demanded.

"Marked as anchors."

"They cover enough areas?" Bobby asked.

Ares nodded, crossing his arms over his chest.  "They do.  The boy does too.  He covers even more than they do.  We marked them all today in that time."  John slumped.  "It means we can help them better.  All the boys have learned a lot from their time away.  Xander's finished his growing."

"Is he going to continue hunting?" John asked hopefully.

"He'll be hunting plenty since he'll be of age to be taken as a mate," he told him.  "We'll be blessing the ground of his house once he finds one.  They will be coming for him now.  Also, I told Sam and Dean about the hunter saying they were now demon whores."

"I straightened him out," John said firmly.  The other guy was still in the hospital after their discussion.

"Good.  How many did he tell?  How many more GHS are in danger?"

"None.  I didn't mention them, Ares."

Ares smirked.  "Good idea."  He leaned down.  "They're fine and they've learned a lot. Including some things about themselves."  He straightened up then smirked at Bobby.   "Want them to appear here or Las Vegas?"

"Dean's car is here.  He'll want a few days to bond with her."

"That's fine.  We can do that."  He disappeared, going to check on the boys.  Dean was highly embarrassed about Xander asking oral sex questions.  He took all three boys to a whorehouse he favored and had been given as a tithe once.  "These are two of my chosen and one of Cupid's Burdens," he told the madam, who bowed to them.  "The young one needs to learn things.  Cupid has been teaching him personally but he is to remain slightly more pure.  He's had a woman once."  That got a nod.  "He is like most of them and may take up with a male."

"If he's had a woman, having a male isn't much different," she told him.

"As he wishes."

Cupid appeared.  "Pops, I was going to call in one of my favorite pairs.  They wanted to spend the night with him.  They can teach him everything he needs to know."

"They're in town."  Cupid summoned them and they came running.  "This is Xander."

"We've heard of him, Lords Ares and Cupid, plus his guardians," the female said.

Cupid put a hand on Xander's head and fixed his age.  "You're eighteen."  Xander whooped and hugged him.  He looked at the priests of his.  "He is not to be penetrated but can be taught anything he wants to know beyond that.  No more than a finger to teach him."  They nodded and led him to a room with one of the pros to help them.  He handed the madam one of his tokens then a second one.  "Lower level of my Burdens."

"I have many who could please them."  She led them off to let them pick who and what they wanted.  One ended up having to pounce the taller one because he was pouting slightly.  The younger one had two and that was fine with her.  Such blessings on her place kept the bad things away and increased her reputation.

***

Xander looked at the husband/wife/pro team in the room with him and blushed.  "Hi."

The wife pulled him over.  "Cupid said you're one of his special ones."

He nodded.  "I'm a level ten burden."

"Oh, dear, you are one of the special ones."  She smiled.  "We'll make sure you know what you need to, Xander."  She got him stripped down then the others.  "Now, he said you've had a girlfriend?"

"One of the other warriors in training at Ares' temple decided she needed to break herself in."

"That happens.  No one trusts a twittering virgin, even if she's the best trained there is."  He nodded at that.  "When was that?"

"Few days ago."

"Okay."  She led him over, letting the pro do what she did best while they taught him how to touch a woman's body.  The boy clearly had an appreciation of the female form.  She and her mate shared a look and he smiled.  He'd get his turn. The pro came and went limp but Xander was still licking and suckling on her.  "It's polite to ask them if they're up for more," she instructed.

"Don't you dare stop him," the pro said weakly.  Xander beamed and went back to it.  She could like this one.  If he ever went up at the auction block she'd take out a loan to buy him.  Even she had enough of the oral pleasure after a few minutes and pulled him up.  "Play with other areas too, Xander."  He nodded, teasing her with his fingers while he kissed her.  "Slow down."  She showed him how it should be done now that she had energy again.  She had suffered through a lot of quick lovers and this one would not be one.  She flipped them onto their sides, moving his hand to her breast.  He swallowed but played and worshiped at them.  He slowly moved down to her hole again and she moaned in pleasure.  This time it was good.  "Vary it some.  Don't just lap or suck.  Tease me.  Women adore being teased."  The male priest came down to show him how.  Xander did what he did and they switched back and forth until she was too limp to do more than breathe.  The female priest took him in hand and moved him over to the clear side of the bed.

"Show me what you learned," she ordered.  He started by kissing her, moving down slowly, making her moan at his technique.  Little bites, sucking kisses, small licks over pulse areas.  He paid enough attention to her breasts she was about to tell him to move on when he did.  "Remember to gauge what your partner likes."  He nodded, moving down to her stomach.  She moaned when he found one spot she adored, teasing it for a minute before giving it up.  She groaned a complaint but his fingers teased it while he moved lower, watching her face.  It was still good and his tongue was very skilled already.  He didn't go immediately for her center.  He teased the areas around the edges, slowly moving in.  His fingers were still teasing that spot on her stomach.

He pinched it and she arched up, which gave him the perfect time to latch onto her clit.  She whined and it was good.  He was very good.  She was flying high and he was doing it for her.  He had to pull back to pant but went back to it and she was more than happy to let him take breathing breaks since his fingers came to play with her while he caught his breath and swallowed the excess spit.  "Xander, in me," she ordered.  He looked at her mate, who nodded.  "That's is why we were sent."  He slowly moved up, playing with that spot on the way, suckling on a nipple, then giving her a kiss as he slid in.  She shifted to accommodate him ad it was good.  He started off slowly, gentle thrusts, then he built up.

"Vary your rhythm.  Some teasing is good here too."  He nodded, doing that, teasing her now and then with a finger he let slip down to brush her clit.  He kept up the kissing and it was good.  He clearly had some endurance.  She finally got him to the point where he was pounding into her and he suddenly stopped, just flicking her clit a few times until she screamed and came over. She panted, going limp, watching him.  "You didn't?"

"Sam said it was better if I did it after her."

She smiled.  "It's polite and means she had a lot more fun than if you did it before."  He leaned down to kiss her, being gentle and soft again until he came a few strokes later.  She pulled back to pant, nodding.  "Good job."  He beamed.  "Get me some water or juice?"  She was carefully pulled out of, a kindness most men didn't learn soon enough, and he went to get her something from the madam.  They checked the pro.  She was only asleep.  That was good.  She looked at him.  "If he does this to me and prefers males, you'll need your energy."

He kissed her.  "Seeing you like that inspired me."  Xander brought back two mugs and put one beside the sleeping woman, handing her the cold one.  She smiled as she took it.  He pulled Xander to him.  "What do you know of loving a man?"

"Nothing that I remember, but some of my old memories were taken when I was deaged due to a curse."

"Then you showed you had skills before, we only had to awaken them."  He kissed him slowly.  Testing him.  The boy's tongue had to be numb but he fenced back with his.  It was a good indication.  He felt Cupid bless him to get hard today.  Usually he couldn't - ever since that accident with the sword, that's why he and his wife taught, so she could get pleasure again - but this time he needed it.  He let his wife move to a nearby chair and laid them down there instead.  "Explore me.  Learn how a man is different."

Xander moved down to play with his body.  He tried a nipple.  "Some men do and some men don't have ones that react," he told him.  "Each one of us is different."  Xander nodded, testing the other one, earning a smile.  "Good choice."  The boy found a sensitive spot and made him moan.  That was hard to do.  He moved further down to tease his stomach and navel.  "That's good."  He arched into the sinful mouth.  "Pull back and look at me, Xander.  Look me over, touch me to make sure I'm there, see how I react."  Xander shifted down to look him over.  His cock was nearly full.   It got a touch that was nearly maddening in how gentle it was and then a bit rougher than he liked.  "Gently.  Remember, you can't tell how strong of a grip you're using on someone else."

Xander looked at him.  "Can you teach me how to pleasure one?"

"Of course I am."   Xander grinned. "The sac behind it holds your seed.  It is very delicate.  Some men can't even stand to have them touched."  Xander gave them a careful sniff, then a gentle lick, using the same hand to hold them up so he could play with the lumps inside them.  "Most men have two, I only have one."

"You have a small one on the other side," Xander told him.  "I saw the scar.  I know sometimes people get injured."  That got a nod and the boy moved to look behind his sac. "Is the space between that and your hole special?"

"It's delicate and feels good when it's played with in the later stages of sex."  Xander nodded.  "You can lick, suck on, and tease it with your fingers or tongue.  The same with my hole."

Xander grimaced.  "But...."

"I know but some do like it.  There is a method of cleaning that area.  It can be better if that's used."

"How do you do that?"

"We'll show you later, when we get to your temple," she ordered.  Xander nodded and went to examine that area.  Her husband yelped.  "No biting, Xander."

"He didn't.  He pinched a bit."  He panted, letting the boy do whatever he wanted.  When Xander came back up to play with his cock he had to tap him on the head a few times.  "No biting."  After the third time he figured it out.  He pulled the boy's head down, showing him how to go all the way down.   The boy did it and went back down on his own.  "Play with it with your tongue and hands if it's not in your mouth."  Xander did that, learning how to best pleasure him.  He flopped backward with a moan.  The boy was driving him insane.

"Before I get off, prepare me."  Xander looked at him.  "Take some of the oil and use it to slick your fingers up, then stretch me with them."  Xander nodded, moving to do that.  It was very good.  "Slowly and play, boy.  This is to prepare them for greater pleasure."  Xander slowed down and teased, playing with it.  He found a lump and the man groaned.  "That is a spot that makes men see God.  Doing that too often will get a partner off.  Many do use it when they orally please others."  Xander nodded, he could feel it.  He switched up to two fingers and it was good.  He was loosening well today and moved up to three.

"Some men want to be gotten off before they're entered, some men entered before getting off," she instructed.  She finished her water and the boy looked at him.  "It's better if you do it now.  His getting hard is a gift from Cupid."  Xander kissed him but found the angle awkward.  She came over to show him how to prop his hips up and brace them on his shoulders.  Xander beamed, kissing her as he entered the tight hole.  "Pause, let him adjust."  Xander did that, leaning down to kiss him and tease his cock.  He started out slowly.  Her husband was looking very pleased.  She held him up and slid herself down him.  She had wanted a child from him and this was a good time to try.  Xander was riding him very well.  Her husband was panting in exertion.  Xander's wicked finger came to tease her clit again.  They kissed and her husband got off, making her a happy wife. Xander got off from that then he teased her harder until she came.  It was a thoughtful gesture.  They all laid together in a tangle to wait until the boy's body had recovered.  He did a fertility charm over her stomach, making her smile.  "Thank you."

"You were stroking it.  I thought it could help."  He kissed them both again.  "Thank you."

"We are going to teach you one last thing.  Nothing more than a finger may go up you," he told him.  He stroked his wife's stomach.  "I can show you what it feels like to receive one."

"Let me," the working girl said with a yawn.

"He left you a drink," the priestess said.  She took it to drink and then moved Xander into her former spot, cleaning him off with a cloth so she could show him how those things felt when done to him.  She was excellent at it and he was clearly happy with it.  When she slid a finger in he nearly levitated for a minute then made pleading noises.  She teased his prostate and he got off.  She licked her lips, smiling at him.  "You clearly need more boys in your life, Xander.  Thank you."

He pulled her down to kiss her.  "Thank you."

"It was my pleasure."  She left with the empty cups.  She needed to finish her nap.  She found her mistress and the two guardians watching from a room over.  "He should have males," she told them.  "He reacts stronger to them."  Dean nodded, still staring.  "He's better than I was at his age. I could barely handle a threesome and he knew how to tease her and him both."

Sam sighed but nodded.  "We need to make sure he has stuff for anal sex."

She walked off smiling.  They may ignore what they were feeling but she had seen it and she was sure the Gods they served felt it.  The priest and priestess were answering questions so she went to her room to rest.  The madam would let her this time.

Dean watched the boy finish up and kiss them both again before getting up to stretch.  He almost glowed.  "Tell me he's out of backlog?" he said quietly.

Sam nodded.  "Gay sex on the bottom seems to suit him more."   They went downstairs to wait on him getting dressed.  Xander came bouncing down a while later.  "Did you get more chocolate?" he teased.

"No.  Can I have some?"

"If there's any left in the packs," Dean said.  He gave Xander a clap on the back. "You feel like you know enough that if I put you with someone it'll be good?"  Xander beamed and nodded.  "Good.  Sammy?"

"I'm good.  I'm very relaxed."  They were flashed back to Strife's temple.  "Thank you."

"Not a problem.  Looked good, all three of you."  He winked at Xander.  "Good job."  The boy blushed but grinned.  "Now, go home and play with yourself after dinner.  Practice tomorrow at the normal time.  Xander, Cupid said nothing more than what you got earlier back there."

"Yes, Strife."  He gave him a hug.  "Thank you."  He bopped out with Sam and Dean in front of him.  One of the other warrior trainees gave him a dirty look but he smirked back.  Eighteen for less than a day, he'd had his second and third woman, his first man, and his first threesome.  He was in a great mood.  Even the kidnaping attempt didn't phase him too much.  He was even happy when he gutted them and then walked over them.  He was even happy enough to make dinner that night after he had cleaned up.  Both older guys gave him amused and fondly tolerant looks.

***

Xander looked at the greatly diminished stack of trunks and bags.  He had outgrown a bunch of stuff.  He tossed his hair back over his shoulder.  Ares appeared. "Thank you."

"Not a problem, Xander.  I'll let Cupid have the carriage and horses."

"Thank him too since he's not seeing us off?"

"I will.  Him and Strife.  Remember to light candles to them tonight."  Xander nodded before giving him a hug.  Ares opened a portal onto the back porch.  Xander floated everything through.  Then he carried his sword.  The two guys followed, waving at him.  "Behave, boys.  Watch out for his switch."  He checked and tossed one thing through then closed it.

Xander activated his pet and cuddled it.  "Where did you go?  I couldn't find you," he cooed.  Bobby opened the door so he grinned.  "I lost him last night."

"That's fine.  At least you found him.  The other two?"  Sam pointed at a trunk.  "Want to let them free?"

"No, they keep trying to nibble on my pants for some reason," Sam complained.  Xander let them both out and activated them both.  They climbed all over him for lovies then went to find John to bother him.  Xander stood up straight for inspection by Bobby.

"You've grown again."

"I'm eighteen now."

"Congratulations."  He looked him over again.  "Did we drill him in guns too, Dean?"

"The ones I had with us," Dean assured him.  "We can work on shotguns soon."  He grinned.  "Got any food?"

"In the kitchen."  He let them go that way.  Xander floated all the stuff out to the Impala.  Bobby watched, stopping Sam.  "That on his required list?"

"He has the gift and got it trained at Hecate's temple," Sam said quietly.  "He's allowed to float, make things grow, and divert portals if they happen."  That got a nod.  "He's not to kill with it unless it's a last resort."  He smiled at Xander.  "You did good with the floating."

"Thank you.  It's the easiest way of loading the pretty things."  He gave Bobby a hug.  "Don't worry, I'm not any more evil than I was before.  Maybe even a bit less since Sam said all kids have evil moments."

"Good to know."  He let them inside and watched the boy bounce off to find his pets.  They had been tying John up so he left him that way and told Dean.

Dean walked in there, sitting on the foot of the bed.  He stared for a minute then took out his boot knife and slit into his thumb, letting his father watch it heal.  John nearly cried.  "Lucky hospital switch?" he asked quietly.

"No, we found you.  I found you in the back of a car I was working on.  It had been brought to the garage by the cops and left there overnight.  You were in the trunk and Mary fell in love while we tried to decide if anyone should know, son.  I'm sorry."

Dean nodded at that.  "You didn't want us to think less of you?"

"I can't remember those things without feeling a lot of pain, sport.  You know that.  To us it never mattered."

Dean nodded, using the knife to release his father.  "We'll talk sometime."

"Dean, I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad.  I've had five years to figure things out.  Fortunately they did age Xander up to eighteen."  He stood up.  "Xander's probably trying to inhale the whole kitchen.  Let me go save Bobby."  He walked out happier.  They had truly wanted him.  Sam gave him a look and he shrugged slightly on one side.  "It's good.  Xander, save food for the rest of us?"

"I'm making it for everyone," he defended, pouting a bit at him.  "I know you're starved.  What're we doing about he dragon's hoard?"

"Selling it," Sam said.  "The convention should have somewhere we can do that or know someone."

"Dragon?  Like Puff?" Bobby asked, looking confused.

"No, like wanting maidens and took Xander," Dean said dryly.  Xander smacked him on the arm with the warm spatula.  "Hey!"

"Not my fault he decided I'd be tasty.  He didn't even try to eat me when he figured out I wasn't a bulky girl."  He looked at Bobby.  "I was fourteen then."

"It's the hair," Dean teased.

"Leave my hair alone!  I like my hair!" he complained.  "He's the one that started it growing.  You had me in military haircuts before then."

"It does look a bit like girl hair, Xander," John said as he joined them.

Xander scowled at him, one foot tapping.  "It does not!  Besides I can hide weapons in it.  Dean can't in his.  Sam can't in his either."  He went back to his cooking.  "Beyond that, the dragon was lonely and wanted to talk, not eat or mate with me."

"What do dragons sound like?" Bobby asked, looking fairly amused.

"Sounded kinda British to me," Sam admitted, turning the page on the newspaper.  "We couldn't get close enough to stab it so Dean shot it."

"I don't know if it was any bullet or the silver ones I had that worked, but it did."

Xander looked at him.  "Why are you so tired?"

"You kept me up last night," he said dryly.  "Hell, you kept Cupid and Strife up last night, Xander.  They were trying to have sex and you made them both high."

"The guard was cute and he offered."

"Uh-huh.  He couldn't walk this morning," Sam said from behind the paper.  He lowered a side, looking at him.  "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing," he said with a blush.  "Nothing unusual."   He went back to cooking.  "Besides, I'm not the only loud one, Sam.  You woke me up."

Dean snickered.  "You did, Sammy.  Both of us."

"I could've sworn you two had that under control," John complained.

"We need it more now, Dad," Dean said.  Xander poured him some coffee and handed it over.  Sugar got handed over too.  Sam got his too.  Then Xander put food on plates and fed them all.  Bobby smiled.  Xander said his own grace for himself.  They dug in.

"You do this nearly as good as my wife did before Sammy was born," John praised.

Xander blushed.  "Cupid said I might end up being the wife."

"It's possible," John agreed.  "Doesn't mean the husband can't cook now and then.  I did."  That got a smile and a nod.  The boy finished up and Sam moved to do dishes.  Dean kicked back with another cup of coffee.  "Now what?"

"Now, we have to sort through Xander's kidnaping reparations and figure out what he's saving and what he's selling to afford a good place to live," Sam said.  "We have to find out when we need to leave for Las Vegas.  He should check in with Adam."

"I want to surprise him," Xander defended.

"Fine."  Dean looked at him.  "Go get the stuff out of the car so we can sort through all the clothes you can't wear here."  Xander blushed but went to do that with Sam.  "Cupid pretty well let him run around naked when he wanted to."  He finished his coffee and sat up.  "I should get my clothes too."

"Can we see this new fighting style?" John asked.

Dean stared at him.  "It's highly erotic, Dad.  Watching him when he was younger got us both off and you know we don't like kids that way."  He smirked.  "He's going to show Adam and Ray at the convention.  You and Bobby can watch then."

"I don't need to go see a bunch of people doing those sort of things," Bobby said.

"We'll need more protection for Xander," Dean said quietly.  "He's of age for offers and being taken now."  That got a groan.  "We're setting him up a house soon and they'll bless it so it's holy ground.  Xander can hunt all the demons that show up."  He went to sort out his things.  Sam had already piled his clothes on the trunk.  "That's all I had?"

"That wasn't torn, ripped, or that one pair of panties you somehow ended up with," Sam taunted with an evil smirk.

"She gave 'em to me as a memento.  Who am I to refuse a lady?"

"Real men don't need trophies," John said as he came down.  He saw the piles of clothes.  "Why do those look a lot like leather pants?"

"Because they are," Xander quipped.  "I look fantastic in mine.  My butt looks nearly as holy as Ares' does according to one of Cupid's priests."  He grinned at the looks he got.  "Yes, I'm wearing them during the convention."  He went back to sorting, tossing all the money, gems, and that stuff into the trunk in the car.  He finally got down to the backpacks, nibbling on the piece of chocolate he found in the bottom of Dean's.  He tossed the guys their things and finished sorting his.  "Okay, these can go to a shelter or something," he said.  "The rest are mine."  He beamed.  "Think the stuff in my original box will fit now?"

"If so, you've got enough pajamas to last Hugh Heffner for years," Dean said dryly.  He pulled it out and Xander tried on a shirt with a happy squeal.  It fit so he packed the other clothes in there.  That left three empty trunks.  Four were filled with stuff to sell.  John stared in them.  Then at his boys.  "Dragon," he said.  "A few who tried to take him and had to pay him back for it."

"Someone at the convention should know how to get rid of it," Sam said.  He called Adam.  "We're back."  He smiled.  "He's bouncing around in his leather pants.  No, he's good.  Fully trained.  He has something he wants to show you during the convention and he has things he needs to liquidate to find a good house.  Yeah, he's old enough to need his own room."  He nodded.  "That'll work well.  His room.  Dad and Bobby can share one of the doubles or not.  Or me and Dean can.  Thanks, Adam.  When do you want us to meet you and where?"  He made note of the date and time.  "We can be there by then.  South Dakota."  He smiled.  "Thanks, man.  Sure, we'll see you then."

He hung up.  "We are to meet him there in a week, Xander."  Xander beamed at that. "He did say he could help you get rid of those trunks too."  That got a nod and Xander bounced over to hug him.  "Good boy.  Now, let's repack the car?"  They did that and Dean took their laundry into town to do it once they were done.  Plus hit a pawn shop with a few of the gems so they had traveling money.  Sam walked Xander inside, letting him settle in next to him on the couch.  Xander was back in cuddly mode and it was good for them.  They had no idea how to wear Xander out in the next week but they'd figure it out.

John and Bobby shared a look.  The boys were a lot different after their trip.  They'd have to watch them.

***

Xander found Adam and snuck up on him, pouncing with a squeal.  Adam pulled back to stare at him.  "Did I change that much?"

"You're much older than I expected," he said with a smile, giving him a real hug.  He pushed him back to look him over.  "You're near your proper age?"

"Eighteen.  The nasty curse is nearly gone."

"Wonderful."  He patted his cheek, seeing the braid.  "That hair is quite the statement."  Xander pulled out a thick, sharp hair pin, getting a laugh.  "A good reason then."  He walked him back to the desk.  "Where are the others?"

"They're headed up to their room on fourteen," the check-in girl said.

"I thought I should come see you first then see about conference stuff."

"That is a good point."  He walked him off, gathering the admission and testing board together.  He locked them in a small room.  "We remember that I found a level ten a bit ago, correct?"  They nodded.  "Then he seemed to disappear from New York?"

"Was he finally found?" one asked.

"He was at a brothel discovering himself.  One of the other people got quite jealous so he deaged him with a curse."  They all groaned.  They had all run into magic somehow in the past.  Well, all but the new guy.

"Magic is real?" he asked, starting to giggle.  Adam lit the candle in front of him, making him stop laughing since he was across the room when he did it.

Another member took pity on him.  "There's some higher demons who think we're pets as well.  Most of the time it's only those who already deal with it."  He looked at Adam.  "Was he taken by one?"

"No, he almost was.  One of the other workers there smuggled him out to a family of demon hunters.  The Winchesters."

"Who we admitted two of as level fives," one said, smirking at him.  "How old is he?"

"Just now eighteen again.  He's been traveling off realm for a bit to reage.  They've protected him wonderfully.  Now we have the problem of Xander's admission."

"Is he still?"

"Quite.  And backed up."  He opened the door.  "Xander, leave the nice man alone since he's taken."

"He stopped to talk to me."  He waved before walking inside.  "He said he wasn't."

"Some men are like that," one of the guys said dryly.  "He's still a level ten?"

Xander took off his bracelet and they all moaned when the pheromones hit them.  "Sorry, two days in the car."  He looked at Adam and grinned.  "Dean's backlogged too."

"That's fine.  We have ways around that."  He stroked his back, letting the boy lean against him.  "Do we revive his old one or not?"

"We can use his old one but I'd like a new hormone test," one said.  "Or maybe even a testing weekend."

"Cupid said no one can take me until my first real keeper is mine."  He showed off the marks around his waist, making Adam moan in pleasure.  "But I did learn a neat version of sword fighting self defense while I was gone."

They just nodded and did another blood test.  It came up with a level that was nearly redlined.  One coughed.  "Xander, most level tens can't go a full day without wearing those out.  Much less two.  You need to before you're taken."

"I know.  Dean was going to teach me how to club tonight so I can get some."

"We have a way around that," Adam told him.  "That's what Room 318 is for, when you're backed up and not getting it at home."

"We're going to pick a home."

"Good."  He smiled, stroking his back again.  The boy cuddled into his side, making the others smile.  "When it first happened, he was a charming little six-year-old scamp with the same hormones."  They all shuddered.  "Is he reinstated?"  They all nodded.  "Good."  He got him a convention packet and went out to get Sam and Dean's since they hadn't checked in yet.  "They're Xander's current protectors.  We're going up to their suite."  She nodded, handing over the other things he'd need.  He walked the boy up there, smiling when he got off and bounced into the room.  Xander came out with a sword while he was explaining the various events and telling Dean where Room 318 was this year.

"Can I show them now?" Xander asked Sam.

"Sure, Xander."  Everyone settled in and Xander took off his shirt and made sure the door was locked before starting to move.  Adam stared and whimpered, clutching his chair so he wouldn't do something he'd regret later when Ray castrated him.  John's jaw was clenched shut.  Dean and Sam were holding each other back.  Bobby retreated after a few minutes of watching.  Then Xander moved into one of the sword dances and Adam let out a long sigh. "Yes, it's used for defense purposes.  Ares' priests made sure he can use the moves in combat, not just in the dance," Sam said quietly.  Dean got up to spar with him since they looked the best together.  Xander pounced and it was a deadly dance that was still pretty erotic.  Sam smiled.  "I learned some of the less war oriented dances as well.  Xander learned the whole series."

Adam blinked when the boys came to a draw, clapping his hands.  "That is most useful, Xander.  I would like to see them all sometime."  Xander bounced over to get a DVD he and Dean had made.  "Are they all on there?"

"I started the camcorder and let it run," Dean admitted.  "It should be in focus and on wide angle.  It should have caught it all.  We did it in Bobby's garage."  He smirked at his father.  "Dad, you okay?"  John nodded slowly then said a quiet 'excuse me' and went to the bathroom.

"I need to do the same thing."  He gave Xander a hard hug.  "Show me more later with Raymond.  He'll adore those."  He hurried off, finding Ray to pounce him into a wall.

Xander beamed at them.  "We both need that room.  Where is it?"

"On four."  He found Xander's convention ID bracelet and put it on him.  Then his and Sam's on them.  "Sam, there's a cuddle pile room."  Sam smiled at that.  "We're heading down to have fun.  Call when you two want dinner."  He and Xander headed to that room.  Xander got sniffed and put with one guy who needed it.  "He can't be taken.  He's saving it for his keeper."

"He won't be."  She pointed.  "She's interested in some fun.  Her keeper just broke her hip."  Dean went to talk to her.  It wasn't prostitution.  It was all consensual and free.  He could learn to love this group.  Hunters never had these sort of conventions.  Xander was happily suckling on the other guy and the guy was groaning in the right way so it was good.  Xander offered to do him and the guy nodded, letting Xander ride him into unconsciousness and a nap.  Then Xander got handed to one of the females and she was more squealy than Xander was.  By then Xander was back down to normal levels.  Dean was done too, leaving his limp and sated.  He felt pretty good too.  They went down to check out the rest of the stuff.  Xander went into the cuddle room and got sucked in.  Dean smirked, heading off to look at the shopping areas.  They had to have some neat stuff.  He ignored Ray and Adam going at it in a shadowy corner.  Xander made him the same sort of horny.

***

John found Adam again that night after dinner.  He was mellow and in a good mood.  "When did you want to look at that stuff?"

"I can do that tonight. Let me find someone."  He smiled.  "The boys still having fun?"

"I hope so."

Adam nodded.  "It is often fun for us.  Xander can sit in on the self defense lectures tomorrow if he should want to.  It's run by one of us who is an officer."

"You guys can be cops?"

"There's a few of us.  Mostly below level sixes."  That got a nod.  "Here," he said, handing over a book.  "It's technically for spouses and consorts of our kind when they first find out."  He patted him on the shoulder. "An hour?"

"That's fine.  Thank you."  He took it to the bar and got a beer to go upstairs with, settling into the room to read the book.  Xander came back with Adam.  Dean and Sam weren't far behind.  He pointed at the trunks.  They settled in to go through them with Adam's friend.  Who moaned quite prettily for a woman.  John stomped on his lust before it got out of hand.  He did not need this but he'd be there for his boys.  The booklet was informative.  Gave all sorts of information on what they were not to have because it could cause a reaction that could kill them.  What caused them to spike.  What caused all the problems they'd seen over the last few days.  The boys talked to the source while Xander talked with Adam about the dragon.  At least until Ares came down and scowled at Xander's back.  Then he took him for a few minutes.  He came back looking wrung out and exhausted.  "Problems?" he called.

"The aging we did to get rid of the curse left a little bit of cellular destabilization.  It's fixed now."  He handed him to Sam, who let the boy cuddle him.  He smirked.  Then he left.

John looked over and saw why the smirk had happened.  Xander and Sam did look very comfortable together.  So did Xander and Dean.  That started thoughts he didn't want to have.  He went back to reading.  He'd talk to them later.  He would not approve of that.

"John?" Adam said.

He came over to sit with them.  "What's up?"

"Well, I can take about a third of these today."  That got a nod.  "And give him wholesale prices.  Giving him top price means that I can only take about a sixth."

"I'm sure we understand how that happens," John agreed.  "Will he have problems setting himself up a safe spot?"

"No.  Not in the least," she promised.  Adam handed over the tally sheet she had been using.  They both got to see John turn pale and nearly fall onto the floor.

"You have a heart attack from that and I'm making Xander do CPR," Dean said.

John glared at him.  "Smartass."

"Yes, I am."  He smirked.  "Actually, Sammy and I each get a fifth of it.  Xander said it was ours for saving him and watching over him."  That got a nod.  "How much?"  John showed him the sheet.  "Wow."

"I know some people who can get rid of the rest," she offered. "Wherever you end up setting him up he'll need some contacts in a major city so they can find ways of dumping it."

"Somewhere like St. Louis or somewhere like LA?" Sam asked.

"LA has many ways of doing so.  I think St. Louis has one and an underground."

"But yearly trips or so to handle any presents should be doable?" Dean asked.

Adam nodded.  "It should be good enough but do remember that Xander flying commercial in a tiny, recycled atmosphere could be dangerous.  He has more than enough money to rent a plane for that sort of trip."

John nodded.  "I know you can do that.  Should we settle him somewhere bigger, like Chicago or St. Louis?"

"Wherever he wants to settle but I would make it somewhere he had ways of wearing things out.  A good, discreet brothel for when he's backed up.  A few good spas for him to get some help at.  We do tend to clump in certain areas for support," Adam told him. "There's many too many of us in New York but there's some of us in Miami.  The one who's teaching self defense tomorrow is moving to Washington, DC soon.  There's about twelve of us here.  There's a good many of us in Dallas for the shopping."

"We're mostly in the Midwest these days," Dean said.  "Any of us there beyond the one near Bobby in South Dakota?"  He grinned.  "We found out when Xander donated some of his steaks to the food pantry he works with."

"There's a few but also more conservative areas."

"I want a city or a small town.  Anything in between has more risks.  If everyone in town knows me then it's easier," Xander said.  "Or a city would offer ways of me escaping if I had to."

"Those are good points," the other guy agreed.  "Do you have a state you like?"

Xander shrugged.  "I saw a few with them.  I'd like to not be in tornado alley."

"If we want to put you in Kansas, there's Kansas City.  It crosses two states."

"Was that the place where everything seemed kinda dusty?" Xander asked.

"No, that was in Oklahoma," John said.  "Kansas City is under revival.  Somewhat.  It's got some pretty areas and some slums like any real city, Xander."

That got a nod.  "Did the Travel Channel ever do something about there?"

"We can look," Sam said, grabbing his laptop and coming back to look it up.  "Not on their maps or showcase places."  He looked.  "Even a small city would be okay.  Somewhere in the fifty thousand range?  With a college?" Sam offered.  Dean gave him an odd look.  "That way he can take some cooking classes or other things if he wants to.  He's got a long time of being bored at home."

"I guess that's a good point," Dean said.  He considered it.  "There's a few of the smaller cities scattered around the Midwest.  Or Pennsylvania."

"A bit too uptight in some areas," Sam said.  He leaned closer to Dean.  "Give it time and we can go back there," he said quietly.  Dean stared at him.  "Really.  We can settle down there all we want, every other life if you want."  Dean smiled at that.  "For now, let's look at practical matters."  He looked at Xander, then at Adam.  "Reno?  It'd have legalized prostitution."

"Only females, not males, and that could help."  He considered it.  "Imp, do you like snow?"

"Don't know.  The last time I saw snow it made me invisible."

"Ah."  He stared.  "How did you remember that?"

Xander yawned, blinking at him.  "Ares unlocked some more of them.  That way I'd know not to get near my friends when they come looking for me."  He looked at Dean then dug out the note he was to hand over later.  "You need to get that to someone who can handle it quietly without them knowing."  He looked at the computer.  "Not Hawaii.  It's pretty but muggy."

"Anywhere's going to be muggy in August," Dean said, putting it into his pocket.  Yeah, he could handle Xander's former weapons stash if there was anything in it.  "Unless you want to move to Alaska?"

"Maybe some year.  It's way far out of the way."

"It is," Sam agreed with a small smile.  "We're going to cut down some of the traveling but we like this area of the country," he told him.  "Pick somewhere we can come visit."

Xander shrugged.  "I don't know.  Find something nice and tell me?"

Adam tested his forehead with his lips.  "You're a bit warm.  Go to bed.  We'll make that decision tomorrow, Xander."  He sighed but nodded.  Adam sent up a prayer that he hoped the boy hadn't caught something fatal.  Then he looked at the family.  "There's a few basic necessities.  There has to be ways to wear himself out if he's backlogged."

"Hershey?" Dean teased.

"He'd adore that with the park," Adam agreed, smirking back.  "Plus their spa."  Sam looked that one up.  It went onto the list.  "Pick areas you know about and found nice to live in, then suggest them.  We can find out if there's anything in those areas for him.  I remember last time Chicago made him feel uneasy because there were so many people.  New York did as well.  He compared New York to a nest of rats eating the sardines squished into a can with them was how he put it if I remember right."

"So smaller than Denver, LA, Chicago, Atlanta, New York, and most East Coast cities," Sam said, making note of that.  "Want me to keep Reno on the list, Dean?"

"Sure.  Or Lake Tahoe."

"There's no way he'd be able to live there," John said.  "The mob would bother him."  That got taken off the list.  "Are there any areas that the higher demons can't get to?"

"Not at the moment," Adam assured him.  "We'll work on it through the weekend.  I reserved the room for two days past the convention so he had time to meet with Jace, the other anchor, and to arrange things."  He looked at his friend.  "Can you call the others tonight?"

"Tomorrow morning but yeah."  That got a smile.  "We can do that."  She patted him on the arm.  "By the way, heard from one of the New York guys.  Devi's looking for him?"

"Over his dead body since he let the boy be hurt," Adam snarled.

"Hey, deal with it for him," she said dryly, standing up.  "Let me get with my contacts.  I know there's a jeweler in LA that does both human and demon things that might be able to handle some of it.  They have a local branch and they're generally nice to the society."  She nodded at the others and left.  That was quite a haul.  She could believe the dragon story.  Level tens were strange that way.

"Let me handle Devi," he told them.  "Should one show up, kill them."  He stood up.  "I'll make up a list to compare it to yours for town ideas."  They nodded and let him out then came back to sit with their father.

"So?" Dean asked.

"He's trying really hard to protect the boy."

Sam nodded.  "He is and it's a nice thing to have friends who're that close."  He looked at the map.  "Do we want to remove California from the list because of his past?"  Dean nodded.  "What about Washington and Oregon?"

"He might like it but we never passed through there when we had him."  He looked at the travel channel site.  "Where did you look?"  Sam moved the cursor for him.  "Thanks." He looked at the list of cities they had travel journals about.  "Wasn't there one on the food channel?"

"There was," Sam agreed.  "It didn't give much of the atmosphere."  Dean nodded at that.  They went over the cities and created a shorter list for Xander to look at.  Dean took Topeka off it because he had some bad hunting memories from there.

John added a few cities he had liked to go through back in the old days.  He wanted the boy somewhere he could find a good security company that would monitor the house.  Sam gave him an odd look. "I talked to one of the level tens.  She lives in an armed encampment.  Walls, guards, dogs, all that.  Three lovers, guards that sub in now and then when she needs it, hobbies all day."

"Sounds boring," Dean said.

"Yeah, it does, and it won't work for Xander," Sam pointed out.  "He needs to have a way to get energy out.  Armed guards won't stop demons.  Razor wire either."  He went back to looking at higher end properties up for sale.  He didn't need an estate but he needed something big enough to give him some room to rattle around in.  "Found it.  Flint, Michigan."  Dean typed that into the search bar of the travel channel's site.  "Or the Upper Peninsula.  There's a few smaller cities up there.  Sault Ste. Marie is right on the Canadian border in case he has to escape."

"It's cold a lot of the year," Dean said.  "Flint isn't looking so bad.  A little over a hundred miles to Detroit.  About the same to Port Huron and the Canadian border that way.  We'd have to make sure Xander could handle snow."

"He could snowbird to Texas or Miami if he felt like it," John reminded them.  Sam gave the swords a pointed look.  "Even with that, boys.  What's in the trunks are probably a good few million dollars worth of stones.  Plus his original bank accounts."

They nodded at that.  That made it easier.  They'd show him tomorrow and let him look up the areas.  Maybe he'd like snow but they'd have to get him able to drive again.

***

Xander slunk into the room Sunday morning.  Very early Sunday morning.  Bobby was up and gave him an odd look.  "Baccarat?" he said weakly.

"How much did we lose on the Frenchie game?" he teased.

"Didn't but I had to tell them I couldn't take their country?"  Bobby stared at him.  He squeaked and slunk down.  "Sorry!"

"Nothin' to be sorry about, Xander.  How did you get in to gamble?"

"Dean made me an ID."

"Dean needs to stop that shit," he said dryly.  "Go sleep.  You can tell us tomorrow."

"The manager stopped the game when I protested the offer of a country and his harem.  He wanted to talk to my protectors tomorrow.  I told him to talk to Adam."

"Good idea.  Go sleep."  Xander ran for his room since he wasn't in trouble.  Bobby left a note for John in the morning then went to his own bed.  The kid did get into some of the strangest trouble.

***

Adam walked Xander into the manager's office the next day.  "Apologize."

"I'm sorry I used a fake ID to gamble, sir.  I just wanted to try it out."

He looked at him.  "Whoever did yours is fairly good."  He leaned back, looking at the boy.  "Personally, I'm not going to care about that this time.  We need to talk about your little electronics gift."

Xander shrugged.  "What electronics gift?"

"You told a lady to play a certain machine and it hit."

"Um...  Oh, yeah."  He nodded.  "Am I in trouble?"

"How did you know it was going to hit?"

"I don't know.  I know how stop lights are going to turn sometimes.  Maybe it's the same thing?"  Adam gave him an odd look.  "Just now and then."

"Let's try an experiment.  We're going to test you for any EMF output."  Xander nodded.  "Then we're going to go look at the machines."  The guard came in to run a meter over him.  Xander had to remove everything electronic or metal from his body.  Then they went to the floor areas.  Xander stopped to look at one.  "Which one, kid?"

Xander pointed.  "One of those two is going to hit in the next three or so spins I think.  It's awfully loud since one's possessed."  He pointed.  "That one."  The guard went to unplug the machine that had been unplugged earlier but someone had messed with it.  Then he watched as the plug went back in by itself.  Xander walked over to do the exorcism chant Sam had taught him.  The machine died in a flash of noise and light.  "Sorry."

"Not a problem.  It fixed it for us.  Which one?"

Xander stared then pointed at one.  "I think it's that one."  The guard came over to play it.  Three round and it didn't hit.  The next one did.  They stared.  Then at the boy.  He shrugged.  "Sometimes it's like they call out that they're full."

Adam patted him on the back.  "Any others?"

Xander looked then pointed into the high stakes room.  "The blue one in there is waiting but it's impatient.  No one's played it recently and it's ...not bored but it wants to give one out soon.  Kinda."  He shrank at the odd look he was getting.  "I don't play the electronic ones."

"I noticed that last night," the manager said.  "What I'm going to do is this, Xander.  We have to report to the Gaming Commission that you have this funny...power for lack of a better word.  We will say it does not impact card games so you can play when you're older. We'll put what it is so they know you weren't cheating.  I do not want you in the casino again however."

"Yes, sir.  Does that mean you're taking all the money I won last night?"

"No, kid.  I'm not going to do that.  Your protector told me you're setting up and I've learned enough about GHS to know you need it."  Xander nodded quickly.  "Use it to buy a good car, some nice clothes, then a house."

"Did you report him for trying to give his country away on a bluff?"

"I called their embassy.  He's in deep with his people."

"It'd suck to be one of them.  He's probably a crappy ruler."

"I'm sure he is."  He stroked over the boy's head.  The boy disappeared and everyone winced at that.  Xander came back a minute later with a sword, looking fairly scruffy.  The beard was a few inches long.  His hair was knotted and dirty looking.  "What happened?"

"One of the demon bastards who wanted me is gone," Xander said.  He looked at Adam then at the guy.  "It's not a fake ID anymore."  He rubbed the stubble.  "I need a shower."

"Xander, do you also need medical attention?" Adam asked calmly.

Xander stared at him.  "No one touched me like that in the battle ring."  Adam groaned, slumping some.  "I'm good."  He stepped back and Adam stared.  He nodded he had crossed over.  "I'm sorry, Adam.  It was really recent.  I survived over a year that way."

"It's no less than I expected of you.  You did good."  Xander smiled.  "Go shower and come to my room, Xander."  He nodded, heading up to shower and change.  He looked at the manager.  "It's happened before.  They do like him."

"Pity.  He seems like a nice boy."

"He is until you try to bother what's his."

That got a nod.  "I can understand that."  He shook his hand.  "I'll make sure they know he wasn't cheating, but to keep him off the electronic games."  He went to file that report.  They wouldn't mention the possessed one.  No one wanted to hear about that.  Even the owner of the resort.  Who he found out had been at the poker game the night before.....  He found the slip for the hotel in the winning basket when he realized that.  "Stupid sheiks who can't hold their liquor."  This was going to make his job *so* much harder.

***

Xander walked into the room, both Dean and Sam staring at the doorway.  "And yet again I'm back," he said, slamming the door.  "I need a shower."

"What happened?" Dean asked.  He came over to look at Xander.  He knew that look.  "Who was it?"

"A battle ring," he said grimly.  "But it's not a fake ID anymore."

Dean groaned.  "Go shower.  Need help?  Sammy to talk to?"

"I'm good.  Thanks for drilling the getting back up when I'm injured thing into me."  He gave him a long look.  "I'm fine."  He went to shower and change, then shave.  He was more than scruffy.  He looked like he had been held prisoner in an ancient movie.  John had his electric razor in there so he used it.  John wouldn't mind, much.

John tapped on the door, leaning in.  "You can use that sort wet or dry, Xander."

"I'm using it to trim.  I figured I'd go with stubble today."  He looked at him.  "It wasn't even the GHS thing.  They heard who I used to be."  He let out a snort and went back to trimming it off.  He looked at himself.  "I look dumb."  John nodded so he finished shaving off the stubble and it was better.  Xander put it down and turned to look at him. "I'm fine, John. Really."

"Bull.  We both know you're not."

Xander shrugged a bit.  "Life sucks and then I'm immie."  John groaned.  "I spent just under two years there.  I survived a year before coming over and it was a battle scenario with me on the weaker side against a triple sized invading army of really huge ass demons."

John walked in and gave him a hug.  "You survived.  That's the important thing, Xander."  He nodded.  John made the boy look at him.  "I was drunk and stupid."

"No, I am a princess now and then but if you ever try to give me to someone I'll kick your ass."

"Of course you will."  He pushed him into the main room.  "There.  Adam was calling to see if you were okay.  He had a surprise for you."

Xander looked at him.  "Good surprise like the Gaming Commission won't let me near the electronic games again because I can do to them what I do to stop lights?"

"Whoa, you can?" Dean asked.  Xander nodded.  "We sure?"

"I picked out one for someone when she asked for a suggestion and she hit a jackpot.  We tested it this morning after I did an exorcism on one that was possessed."  They all groaned.  "So I can't play the electronic games but I can play cards."

"As long as they don't think you were cheating," Bobby said.

"No, they don't."  He looked at Dean and Sam.  "Want to help me shop with my baccarat winnings from last night?  The manager said I could keep them.  I was thinking about getting my own car but I have to make sure I still know how to drive and get my license again."

Dean nodded.  "We can do that."  He grabbed his things and headed out with Xander.  Sam was behind him.  "How much did you win?"

"A lot.  I complained when the guy tried to offer his country on a bluff bet."

Sam shuddered.  "That's bad."

"Very," Xander agreed.  He tapped on the manager's door then walked in.  "Sorry."

"No, I fully understand needing to clean up.  The basket of your baccarat winnings is on the table there, Xander."  He sat down to look at them.  "We can cash that for you.  The other stuff, I think you'd be better off sitting down when you look in it."

Xander sat down and let Dean hold the check since he was gaping in horror at it.  He found a set of car keys.  "To?"

"A very pretty porsche.  It's in valet parking; I had it moved."  Xander nodded and looked at the next thing.  "They're real.  We had a local jeweler in to assess it when we saw him at breakfast in the buffet."  Xander put the jewelry aside and looked at the last three things.  "Those are all deeds."

"Tell me I didn't get his country?" he begged.

"No.  You didn't.  You did get other things from him.  If I ever see that sheik again I'm going to cut him off from the bar.  He and vodka are apparently a bad combination since you won the resort, his private plane, and his race horse."

Xander stared at him.  "Excuse me?"  That got a nod.  "Will that hold up in court?"

"I've talked to our attorneys.  They called his people and they said it will.  He had no heirs when he committed suicide by orders of his head of staff and heir to the throne.  He said he doesn't want them back."

Xander slumped, staring at him.  "I can barely balance my checkbook.  What am I going to do with this?"

"Adam left to call someone about that.  There's one who knows those like you who may be able to help."  Xander whimpered.

"Calm down, Xander," Sam soothed, stroking his neck.  "It's all right.  We'll figure it out."  Xander stared at him.  "We will.  Maybe you can give Bobby the race horse?"  Xander let out a nearly hysterical chuckle.  "Calm down."  He looked at the manager.  "Does he need to do paperwork to switch titles and things over?"

"That's all being faxed by the consulate.  They're very happy he complained and didn't win their country as well."  Xander let out a small, tiny, whining noise.  "Calm down, Mr. Harris.  It's all right."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is," Dean assured him.  "When will you have it?"

"By tonight.  How long are your party staying?"

"We're supposed to leave tomorrow," Dean said.  "We can probably stay if you want us to.  At least some of us."

"Please.  That way we can set everything up and he's somewhere stable for the meeting to take place."  Adam walked in.  "Did you find him?"

"I had a contact call him.  He'll call me later.  Xander, I told Jace why you forgot to come see her this morning.  She's not upset when she heard why."

Xander looked at him.  "Can I go see her now?"

"Of course.  Take the boys with you."

"They do have the porsche he won last night at his disposal," the manager said.

"I want to drive one, just once," Dean said.  Sam rolled his eyes. "Sammy?"

"I'll follow in the Impala."

Dean grabbed the keys and a guard took them to cash that check that made him drool.  They even photocopied it for him.  Then they went to find Jace and talk to her.  They knew where her resort was.  Dean revved the engine with a moan of pleasure.  Boys like him didn't get to play with toys like this very often in their lives.  Unless he stole one.  He grinned at Xander and backed out of the parking spot, taking off to drive to the other resort.  He sped up a bit but slowed down when he spotted the cops.  They got him anyway so he groaned as he pulled over.  "I'm sorry, Officer.  He just won it last night and I got a bit engine happy."

The officer looked at him.  "Won it where?"

"Baccarat game with the spoiled sheik who also lost a resort, a race horse, and a plane."

The officer shook his head.  "Do you have papers on it yet, sir?"

"They're being faxed over in a bit to the hotel."  Xander dug out his card key and held it up.  "The manager was going over it to help us."

"Let me call over there."  He took the card key since it had the phone number on it.  They couldn't get him the manger but the assistant manager did know what was going on and he did say the car was now the long haired one's car.  They had faxed over the paperwork.  He assured him it wasn't a wreck, just a speeding ticket.  He hung up and went to hand it back with the speeding ticket.  "They do have the paperwork there.  They'll fax it to where you're going."  He stared at Dean.  "Try to be more careful, sir."

"I am."

"Does he drive?"

"We're making sure of it and getting him his license today," Dean promised.

"Good idea."  He went back to his car to tell the boss.  It happened now and then in Vegas.

Dean gave Xander a sheepish look.  "Don't you do that."

"You can't carry anything in this thing."

"I know.  It sucks.  We'll get you a real car and you can keep this one for bling potential," Dean assured him.  Xander beamed at that.  They found Sam waiting on them at the resort.  "Speeding ticket."

"Figured it was when I saw you were pulled over.  Dumbass."  He walked in with Xander, smiling at the happy receptionist.  "Jace is expecting us.  This is Xander, I'm Sam and that's Dean."

"You were supposed to be here earlier."

"Yeah, but the demons had other ideas," Xander said.  "So did the manager of the hotel I won last night during a poker game."  She gaped.  He nodded.  "Adam said he called her."

"I'll check."  She called the office.  "They're finally here, Jace."  She smiled as she hung up.  "It'll be about an hour."

"We can shop," Dean promised.  "Xander needs hipper clothes anyway."  She pointed at the doors that led to their shopping area and they went to shop.  The boy needed decent clothes.  He turned from one rack to find Ares watching them. "Not his fault they took him."

"No.  That's fine.  Try the blood red one?"  Dean found it in the right size and handed it to Xander.   The boy went to try it on, making Ares shake his head.  "Now I know why he got a mark from Aphrodite."

"Did you see the porsche?  It's hot," Dean said.

"It is.  No more speeding tickets."

"Not like I'm used to racing engines," he defended.

"Uh-huh."  Xander came out and he nodded. "Looks good.  Get that one."

"He'll need stuff for dates," Sam told him.  "Even if his keeper showed up tomorrow they'd still want to date.  Or maybe club."

Ares rolled his eyes.  "Probably."  He had no idea how those two were so damn clueless after Cupid had worked so long on them.  Dean picked out a few pairs of tighter pants then they checked out and went back to see if Jace was ready for them yet. The clerk saw Ares and squeaked, calling back for real this time.  He smirked at her.  "Yes, she knows."

"Sorry, sir."

"Uh-huh."  He walked the boys back there, smirking at Jace.  "Our anchor."

"Ares."  She stood up to give him a kiss.  Then she looked at the three young men.  "I heard, Xander.  Don't worry."  She patted him on the cheek.  "How do you prove you're an anchor?"  Xander moved the waistband of his pants down so she could see the marks.  She moaned, tracing one, feeling the power in it.  "Much more graphic than mine was."  She smiled at the other two and they showed her theirs.  "Beautiful work.  Just like the Gods who put them there."  She sat down again and looked at them.  "There's not much you have to do.  Daily prayers if you can manage it.  Praying now and then during the day when you need it."  A thought hit her.  "Not letting Strife talk you into doing things that will make you end up in jail or on a tree that's about to be set on fire."  Xander snickered.

"That sounds like something he'd do to someone he doesn't like."

"My timing was bad, Dean."  Sam pointed at the other one.  "Sorry."

"Not a problem.  It happens."  He grinned. "Is there something we can help you with?"

"No, I'm pretty good.  Of course, since you're all immortals you're welcome at the resort."  She smiled at Xander.  "I heard you learned a unique style of self defense?"

"It's a story telling dance series that was created by a former warrior.  It's erotic in some spots, flashy in others."

She beamed.  "May I see?"

"I'd have to change."

She nodded.  "Tomorrow?"

"We're due to leave tomorrow but sure," Dean agreed.  "If we have to stay local we'll check out over there and come here."  She smiled and nodded.  "He won the resort last night."

"So Adam told me."  She smirked at the young man.  "No electronic games here either."

"I try very hard to be a good boy."  He gave her a grin that usually got him out of trouble.

She gave him a look.  "You're one of his other organization, aren't you?"  He beamed and nodded.  "Crap."

"Only when the demons come," he quipped back.

"Never mind."  She stood up.  "Let's clear up one thing.  I'm the main anchor."  Xander and the boys nodded.  "Good.  Want the tour?"

"When we check in?" Dean suggested.  "We just got the hot porsche last night and Xander needs hipper threads."

She stared.  Then she smirked.  "Have fun, boys.  Use the resort for a local address."  They whooped and left, Sam getting the porsche this time no matter how much Dean pouted.  "It's funny, but I didn't see any marks to Eris."

Strife appeared, smirking at her.  "Mine all mine.  Ma can shit."  He cackled as he flashed out again to watch over his boys.  They were going...car shopping.

***

John met the boys where they wanted him to, looking at the behemoth they were looking at.  "It's a gas guzzling excuse for bad taste," he said blandly.

Dean looked at him.  "Xander needs one that's a rolling protection crib."

John looked at it then looked at his boys.  "No one needs to spend over sixty thousand on a car.  By the sticker it doesn't even come with a standard radio.  No.  Have some sense, boys.  We can trick out anything he likes."

Xander shrugged.  "What's snow like?"

"We can stop on the way up there to make sure you like it," Sam promised.  They walked their father off to show him the choice Xander liked.

John looked at it then at Xander.  "Let me guess, there was a James Bond marathon at the convention?  Every gay boy's fantasy movie marathon?"  He blushed but nodded.  "Wondered how you learned to play baccarat."  He walked Xander out, taking him to a real car lot.  One that didn't sell overpriced pieces of crap.  One that didn't sell anything that wasn't too unpractical.  Xander pointed at one but he shook his head.  "What do you think about vans?  They're good.  You can sleep in them if you have to.  You can outfit the inside with cases to hold weapons.  We can make it look like they're regular storage cabinets."

"I don't know.  I don't think I've driven in a while."

John nodded, pulling into a car lot.  He led Xander over to a van he liked the looks of.

"Dad, no," Dean complained when he got there.  "That's so not him."

"Dean, shut up.  It's practical and safe."

"Dad, Xander's not fully the practical sort."

"We can get him a big enough garage to hold all them," Sam said patiently.  He was rubbing his forehead.  Dean gave him an odd look.  "Headache."

"Let us know if it's something more," John said, shooting him a look.  "What's the trunk space like on the porsche?"

"Pitiful and already full," Dean admitted.  "Six bags of clothes and already full."

"Very pitiful," he decided.  He let Xander look at the van.  "It could be very handy."

Xander shook his head.  "Not unless I turn it into a rolling bedroom."  John blushed. "Sorry."

"Don't be.  You have to think about those things, Xander."  He walked him off to something more him.  A bit more hip.  Something Dean would say could be a classic some day.  The salesman was looking very amused.

Dean stole the porsche's keys and dragged Xander off to take him shopping for a manly car.  He could use a good manly car.  It'd counteract the hair.  They ended up at a high end showroom for SUV's.  John nearly moaned in pain when he saw where they were looking.  "It's practical.  It's safe."

"It's a rolling tank that'll take all his money to fill the tank of," John added.

Sam walked Xander off to show him the different types of SUV's they had.  Xander pointed at one.  "That's a Suburban.  Seats seven."

"Can we change the seats so they're more comfortable?"

"We can," the salesman said, seeming to teleport next to the boy.  He paused then whimpered.  "I saw you win the battle that overthrew the ring."

Xander stared at him.  "Xander Harris, adopted son of John Winchester."  The demon nearly wet himself.  "I need something for hunting duties and to keep me safe.  Dean wants it to be a bit hip.  I want it to be a bit safe.  John wants it to not eat my trust fund with the gas.  Sam wants it to be eco friendly."

"The last two we can minimize but not solve."  He led them to the Suburban.  "We can do a great modification to this one. Put in captain's chairs in the back with a dual DVD/game system setup.  A good, thumping stereo system with satellite of course.  We can even do the modifications to include a few hidden compartments for weapons."

John looked impressed.  Other hunters needed to have someone like their people customize their rides.  "How much will that jack up the price?"

"It depends on which options he chooses.  In this model, it's not going to be inexpensive.  The frame's a bit thinner in spots.  We'd have to reinforce it so we could put on bulletproofing if he wanted.  Now, in the Hummer, the Explorer, or the newest Land Rover, we can do a wonderful job.  Actually, if he wanted a hummer, we have one in the back that the owner said wasn't what he wanted.  He's going to jail for selling drugs though."  He led them back to show them that one.  It had most of the modifications they'd want.  It was a slight stretch job as well.  Gave the back row more leg room.  The trunk too.  He showed them the hidden compartments.  "It was bought off the same line as the police departments who use hummers get.  We can put on gas saving technology and all that good stuff."  He let Dean and John crawl all over the SUV.  It was a good vehicle.  He smiled at Xander.  "I can take thirty percent off since it was a custom that was never picked up and give you another ten for being who you are."

Xander looked at the sticker then at him.  "That's still a whole lot."

"Dude, they have a Wii back here," Dean called.  "And a cooler."

Sam came over to look at the sticker, nearly having a heart attack.  "That's how much I spent for my years at Stanford."  The demon just smirked.  "Can it be blessed?"

"He was Catholic.  There's already been a blessing put on it.  A lot of drug dealers are very religious."

"That's because they know they're going to hell," John said.  He got out of there.  "How's the turning radius?"

"We improved it a bit but you can't really improve it a lot with what this is."

"A former assault vehicle," John agreed.  "I remember driving one of the first ones in the Marines."  The demon only smirked.  He looked at the sticker then moaned.  "You can buy a house for that."

"Forty percent off," Xander said.

"You can still buy a house for that."

"The other option we have that's already modified was meant to go to a tech person."  He walked them over.  This one you pushed a button and the hidden areas came open.  They popped up, arranged themselves prettily.

"Crap stereo," Dean said.

Xander looked back and forth and back and forth and back and forth until Sam made him look at him.  "Neither one's very practical.  One has no trunk space left.  The other is a gas guzzling hog.  No.  They're not right for you."

"He could use something hip," Dean complained.

"He just won a porsche.  You can't get much hipper than that."

"Good point," John agreed.  "Not practical for everyday though."

"Not like he's going to be doing what we do all the time."

"He still needs room for things like groceries."

While John and Sam argued, Dean looked at Xander.  "How do you feel about Michigan?"

Xander shrugged.  "Did we go through there?"

"No idea," he admitted.  He thought back.  "Not for a while.  Anyway, there's two smaller cities that we liked.  One's right on the Canadian border but it'll mean you'll get a good, long winter.  The other's about two hours from Detroit or another part of the border to Canada."

"Will I need to go to Canada?"

"We're thinking escape routes here, Xander."  Xander nodded and Dean stared at him.  "You're starting to build again, huh?"  Xander slumped but nodded. "Get the hummer.  It'll do good in the snow and if you don't like the snow we can get you a warmer place for the winters where it'll be hip.  It'll be safer, about a day and a half of travel outside the old home place.  About the same to Bobby's.  Maybe a day down to Chicago."

"How big of a small city?"

"Flint has about a hundred and fifty thousand by the estimates I found.  Sault Ste. Marie has less than that.  That's the higher up one."

"Huh."

"We'll look online for pictures," he told him.  He walked him back over.  "Guys, Xander's starting to get that feeling again."  They stared then nodded as one.  "Let's hit the resort?  Come back for it later?"

"I can't guarantee either will be here or at that price," the salesman warned.

Dean looked at him.  "If we don't, you'll end up begging to give it to him for free."

"I doubt that."

Xander stared at him.  "Why do you think they want me?"  He looked at Dean.  "What's near your home so you guys can visit more often?"

"Lawrence?  Topeka and both Kansas Cities are pretty close by.  Within a few hours."  Xander grinned.  "The Kansas side is smaller than the Missouri side."

"I hate Topeka," John told him.  "It's the capitol."

Xander nodded.  "Do we think there's others there?"

"We'd have to ask Adam," Sam said, smiling some.  "You know we'll come no matter where you are."

"Yeah but I'm not sure I want to live that far north.  And unless house elves are real having two houses to take care of is going to drive me nuts."

"We know there's some in Colorado, but that's on the other side of the state," Dean admitted.

"Lawrence isn't a bad small city," John offered.  "That's why we settled there."

"No, not in Lawrence," Sam ordered quietly.  He felt Xander start to slip and moved him outside so it was in the open, putting his dampening bracelet back on him.  The boy sighed in relief.  "We'll head home soon.  We'll look at Kansas City on the smaller side.  It has about a hundred-forty-thousand people the last time I looked it up."

"Wow.  Sunnydale has like three.  How did I know that?"

"More of the memories are leaking back through," John said.  "C'mon, before you slip.  We'll talk about that overpriced hummer.  It's at least practical on the snow."

"It's an environment ruining, gas siphoning, phallic symbol that says you can't get it up," Sam complained.

"The military likes it," John shot back.

"Yeah, and they like to buy planes that don't work too," he shot back.

"C'mon.  We'll take the porsche so those two can argue."  He drove Xander back to the resort, letting him head up to the special room again.  He found Ray.  "Anyone near Kansas City?"

He frowned. "One used ta.  He moved last year."

"Xander was thinking about moving there."

Ray grimaced.  "It's sweet of him, but will it suit him?"

"I still say Hershey, Pennsylvania."

Ray grinned.  "He might like that.  Suggest it."  He nodded.  "Where's wonder boy anyway?"

"318.  He started to unconsciously broadcast while we were looking at cars."

"Didn't he just win one?"

"You can't drive a porsche in the snow."

"I guess that's a good point."  He sipped his drink.  "What were we looking at?"

"A custom place for modifying it.  They had a sweet hummer.  Dad and Sammy are still probably arguing over the hummer versus something better on gas mileage."

Ray nodded.  "Xander would probably want something better on mileage too.  Beyond that, how often is he going to need to pop out a weapon from the trunk like you guys do?"

Dean considered it.  "I know that but it's still handy in case he needs it."

"Which is a good reason," Ray promised.  "But still a sucky car."

"I know but it's better than the suburban he wanted."

"Not by much."

"I'm trying."

"I know.  Get things arranged.  Are you guys stayin' here after Tuesday to get the paperwork settled?"

"We told Jace we'd check in with her."

"That's fine."  He smirked at Adam as he walked over.  "They kept Xander from getting a free car when he started to broadcast."

"That's a good thing.  He had on his bracelet while he was gambling, right?"

"He did and they have the good air purifiers on in all the casino rooms," Ray told him.  "I checked; Xander had them turn on an air freshener ring that would mask his pheromones and the guy wasn't in the airflow from him."  Adam relaxed.  "It wasn't his hormones.  It was the sucky guy drinking too much."  He finished his current soda.  "They're thinking about Kansas City."

Adam gave him a look.  "No."

"He doesn't want anywhere as big as Chicago."

"The last one who lived there said it didn't have what she needed."

"Colorado, Michigan?"

"Colorado has become hipper recently in some parts," Ray offered.

"It has but I'm not sure if Xander could handle winter or not."  He considered it.  "Where is he?"

"The special room."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "We'll talk about it after dinner.  I have someone is coming to deal with the rest of the presents as well."

"Thanks, Adam.  He'd be lost without you."  He looked at Ray once Adam had walked off.  "He really likes Xander."

"Xander was his student.  They're like that.  It's about as close to kids as he'll get."

Dean nodded.  "That's fine with us.  Someone should fuss at Xander now and then."  He went to check on them, finding Sam folding the new clothes in with the old.  "Kansas City's out.  The last one who lived there said it didn't have what she needed."

"It'd be nice but we need to be out of our normal haunts for a while."  They shared a look and Sam went to the map program his laptop had, finding a nice small area they could stand to live in.  "If we want to stay in flatland areas, the eastern side of Colorado is still partially flat and foothills.  That's Burlington, Lamar, Fort Morgan.  Those areas."

"Didn't we hit Burlington?"

"Not since I was ten.  I think that's where that ice cream shop you begged to be allowed to shoplift at was."

Dean nodded.  "I remember that.  It didn't look too bad."  Sam opened a search window for pictures in those areas.  They ended up liking Lamar and it was nearly on the Kansas border.  The pictures said it was pretty.  There were a few nice spas there and a good shopping district.  An arty district trying to grow up.  Dean shrugged.  "Colorado Springs?"

"Is higher in the mountains," Sam pointed out.

"Better living, bigger city.  More yuppies but oh well."

Sam found pictures there.  The housing costs were higher but it was nicer looking.  They nodded.  They could stand to be there for a bit if they needed to.  And there were probably a few local GHS as well.  Dean went to ask Ray that.  Ray found him a membership book and handed it over.  He looked up the area and nodded.  "Thanks."  He went back up there.  "There's two who live there.  Both lower level."

"We can talk to them," Sam decided.  They went to get Xander out of the special room.  They had to wait until he was doing blowing one but he was a happier boy.  "Colorado is the next state over from Kansas.  There's a nice medium city that has two lower levels living there."  Xander beamed at that.  "C'mon, we'll find one, see if they know how good the area is."  They walked him off, finding one in the shopping area with a bit of help from the registration clerk.  She knew everyone.  Sam smiled when he approached her.  "Xander's trying to figure out where to put his new house."

"Our new level ten?"

He beamed and nodded.  "We were thinking Colorado Springs.  We're buddies who help him a lot and we're from Kansas.  He wanted to stay close to us."

"Hmm.  It's not a bad area."  She went to talk to them about the area, showing pictures of her home.  Xander squealed at some of it and listened at others but that was normal for level tens.  They were all hyper, squealy, strange folks without any chance of controlling themselves.  She called the other one down from her packing and they talked up the good points and offered the bad ones.  The police force was growing but they were good.  The crime rate was about average for the size of the city.  It was building up a yuppie population but some had moved onto the next yuppieville already.  That left some pretty, bigger homes for sale.  They gave him a few realtor's names before they went to pack so they could head home.

Sam found John, who gave him an amused look.  "Colorado Springs."

"About a full day from Bobby, or from home.  In the mountains but not too high up.  Good sized city that's growing yuppies by the treefull."

"Some have moved on.  Good spas, two locally.  Their PD knows."

"Four hunters in the area, relatively nearby.  One who only works out of Denver and that's probably a good few hours away."  He nodded. "Not a bad place."

"Cool."

"He'll need winter gear and maybe hiking gear.  There's all sort of natural terrain there to learn and cover."

"We can help with that."  He went to tell Xander that John approved, getting another squeal.  Dean and Sam shared a look then took Xander to a discreet brothel nearby that Adam had suggested.  It took four people but Xander was finally worn out enough to need a nap.  They brought him back and let him sleep through dinner, then took him clubbing.  Sammy wasn't really a clubber but Xander could move now and it helped.  Dean showed him how to dance in a club environment.  He was clearly having a flashback at one point but shook it off on his own.  Then it was good.  They got a lot of attention.  A few assholes who thought they were together, but mostly girls who wanted to get between them.  Even Sammy got hit on a few times.  It was a good night.

Three weeks later Xander pulled into his new driveway.  He had found a good sized house on a pretty good sized lot.  Not an estate but good sized with privacy fences and things.  He parked the porsche, smiling at his garage.  The Impala pulled in and parked.  John parked behind him in the driveway.  The secondary garage got the SUV they had finally decided on.  It was tricked out with weapon cases hidden under the floorboards and things that would be handy if he had to hunt.  It also had enough room for grocery shopping and clothes shopping.  The back was turned into more comfortable seats and had an X-Box and cooler built in.

It was stretched a bit for leg room - Dean and Sam were both big guys - and they came out if you needed them to.  There was enough room to camp in there if he had to.  It was also blessed and had a lot of warding sigils put onto it.  They had argued about the color.  Dean would not let him get baby blue, purple, or dark green.  John had agreed: black, silver, red, dark blue, or white.  So it was a very dark purple color with a very subtle glitter coat to make it shine.  Dean and John got to pretend it was black and it was good for their minds.

Sam got out of the SUV.  Dean got out of the Impala. They headed inside to see if all Xander's things had shown up yet.  It had and they needed furniture.  For some reason the only furniture was an ancient antique bed.  "That's pretty," Sam said.

"My grandmother left that to me.  It's been in storage for years," Xander said, touching the bed's poles.  "It held up through generations of Harris'."  He grinned at John as he came in.  "Family heirloom.  The only one there is."

"It's a beautiful bed," he praised.  Xander beamed and looked at his closet.  Someone had left or given him clothes hangers at least.  He went to check the bathroom.  John did too.  "The cast iron is a nice touch."

"We can trade that for a spa tub," Xander told him.

"Make one bathroom separate of all the rooms for GHS stuff," Sam offered.  He looked.  "That'll be nice and deep."  He walked Xander off, showing him the crappy small bathroom they had found.  It had a closet behind it that wasn't going to be used probably.  "Take out the closet behind here, put in a GHS pampering room."  Xander hugged him with a small squeal.

"Dude, we need furniture," Dean said, leaning into the room.  "This'll make a good spot for one of those mega tubs that have everything known mankind in it."  Xander hugged him too.  "Want help finding furniture?  Before we all have to curl up with you on that huge ass bed?"  Xander blushed but nodded.  "Okay."  He looked at his father.  "Groceries?"

"Is the electric on?"

"Has been for three days," Sam told him.  "I made sure of it."  They looked over the rest of the house.  Xander had a good room for weapons storage and work if and when he wanted it.  They decided to take the Impala to the furniture store while John took the SUV to the grocery store.  It was hard to drive for them.  They'd have to learn, just in case it came in handy.  Though, Dean get to pick on John for getting three speeding tickets the night he had borrowed the porsche.  They took Xander to a nice furniture warehouse place.  "Get the basics and we can shop for the little things later on."

Xander looked at hm.  "Little things?"

"Statues, lamps, those things?"

"Okay.  I guess."  He shrugged.  Looking around he didn't find much he liked.

"They can special order fabric but it'll take longer," Dean offered quietly.

Xander shrugged, looking at a few things.  "None of this is really my style or talks to me."  They took him to another place and he loved it.  It was more wood and metal, some overstuffed things.  Here he went wild.  The salesman was amused listening to them as he followed along to make notes.  He apparently thought they were only making plans.  When Xander pulled out cash he was stunned.  He went back to get the proper cards and turn his notes into a purchase order.  They agreed to deliver everything today.  Then the boys took him to the mega-chain bed store they liked.  It was cheaper and Xander had just blown a wad on the furniture.

They ordered beds for the other four bedrooms.  Sam picked out an older style metal one with matching dresser/armoire/mirror.  Dean got a sturdier, less fussy, non carved sleigh bed with a dresser.  Not an exaggerated one but one that hinted at the style.  They decided the other rooms got simple, plain beds.  Xander got a dresser for his and a wardrobe.  They paid for everything and headed back home to arrange things as they came in.  John was trying to but Xander ended up making them help him shift some things.  Fortunately not the antique bed.  No one could move that.

John looked around after they were done, nodding.  "This is nice," he decided.  The chair he was in was comfortable.  It had sucked him down into it, he swore it did, because he couldn't get up.  Sam and Dean were on the couch.  Xander was flopped down on his lounger.

"Cable?" Dean asked.

"It should be on," Xander admitted.  "The cable internet too."

Sam went to check, finding the box in the 'library/study' area.  It had a lot of empty bookcases and a huge desk.  Sam settled in with his laptop, moaning at the chair.  It was comfortable.  He hooked in and his computer worked with a bit of setting up.  He came out.  "Internet's on."  They all smirked.

Xander looked at his wallet, then tossed it at Dean's head, making him catch it.  "Get me a tv and a dvd player please?"

"Sure, Xander."  He got up.  "Vcr?"

"Please."

"Dinner?" he teased.

"Pretty please?"  John laughed at that.  "I know I should cook, but I'm tired and comfy."

"Take the truck or the SUV so you have room to haul it," John ordered.  They nodded, taking the SUV's keys and heading out.  When Dean and Sam came back an hour later they had three tv's, two dvd/vcr combo players, a home theater system, a new computer for the office, Sam was set up to put in a wireless system over the whole house so he didn't have to go to the office, and a cop following them.  John watched him watch them.  "Boys, they called the cops why?"

"Probably wondering why we had Xander's wallet."

Xander leaned over and waved.  "I'm not mean unless you attack me."

The officer walked in.  "Sir, these two had your wallet?"

"I'm exhausted and we needed a tv."

"Do you know what they spent?"

"I went out this morning with sixty thousand, Officer.  As long as I can put gas in the car tomorrow, I'm good."  The officer gaped.  "Hi, Xander Harris.  I alerted part of your department I was coming."  He held up a hand with a grin.

"Yeah, we got the warning, sir."  He shook it.  "Are these your protectors?"

"Family."

"Do you have protectors?"

"Beyond a gun and sword habit?  I'm getting a good security system within a week and they'll be here during that.  Then I'm going to find myself a keeper first."

"That's a good idea."

"Someone has to manage the bank stuff," he said grimly.  Emeralds and sapphires came down from the ceiling.  He looked up.  "Must you when there's normal people around?" he whined.  A cake appeared on the coffee table.  "Thank you.  Still not looking for something supernatural in a lover."

"Fantastic, but not otherworldly?" Dean teased.

"Or other planular," Xander said dryly.  He grinned at the cop.  "See?"

"That's fine, sir.  How much more setting up do you need to do?  We can increase patrols in this area to watch for the delivery guys."

"The little things, books, and probably some sheets, kitchen, and that sort of shopping," Sam said.  "Day after tomorrow, but we can handle it."

"You're sure?"  They all nodded.  John put his gun on the table.  "We have a permit?"

"To carry concealed," John assured him.

"Good."  He smiled at Xander.  "They gave you the contact number if you needed us?"

"They did.  Thank your bosses for all your help, Officer."

"Not a problem, Mr. Harris.  Guys like you boost the local economy and bring a bit of life to a dull beat."  He nodded at the others and left.  His boss would be happy the boy was so nice.  He was young, but polite and decent.  His family looked a bit harder but that was fine.  It was probably necessary and from the stress of rescuing that one.  He walked into the station and up to where his boss was getting coffee.  "I met Mr. Harris."  His boss moaned.  "Not in a bad way.  He had some of his family tv shopping for him."  That got a smirk.  "They had his wallet."

"So someone alerted you?"

"I was on my lunch break picking up a new CD.  They've got a bit of setting up left to do.  Probably within two days.  His family's in.  They're all armed.  He'll be getting a good security company within a week.  Then he'll start looking for a good keeper to handle things.  Three family members, four cars in the garage and driveway.  Spending large today."

"The locals will like that."  He took a sip of his coffee.  "I'll increase the patrols there while he's getting deliveries.  Just in case someone slips in an attempt."

"The father of the group has a concealed carry permit and showed me his gun."

"Even better. We can clean up as long as they're decent the rest of the time."  He smirked on his way back to the office.  He'd send over a recommendation about security companies.  That way he got someone good to do it.

***

Xander swept all the stones together magically.  "Look, guys, more stuff we'll have to sell."

Dean snickered.  "They're pretty."

"Very.  We can get a huge fish tank and put some in there."

Sam looked at him.  "You need to nap, Xander.  That's a bad idea."  He patted him on the head.  "Dad, come mount this tv?"  He came over to install the mounting kit while he and Dean hung it up and got it set up.  They had to do a bit of color adjusting but that was fine.  Everything else was plug and play so that was good.  They settled in with the pizzas to watch tv.

"I didn't know they sold sets that big to the public.  I thought it was only to sports bars," John said.

Dean smirked.  "They had it on sale too."  He tossed Xander back his wallet, letting him catch it.  "More than enough for gas."  Xander smirked and went back to eating and relaxing.  "How do you get sheets for that bed?"

"It has three.  I'll take one into a sheet shop and see if they have any near that size."

"Now all you need is a dog," Sam teased.  Xander activated the pets, letting them look around before coming back to cuddle up to him.  They all smiled at that.  He loved his creatures.  Another shower happened.  "Enough already!" Sam yelled.  "He's looking for a person, not a demon."  They all heard a groan and half of them disappeared.

Xander looked at Sam.  "Thanks."

"Welcome."  He smirked.  Then he turned it on his brother.  "What did you do with that crown you got sent?"

"It's locked in Dad's truck."

John looked over at him.  "Why do I have it?"

"I don't want it in the Impala.  It might warp it into a girly car or something."

"Gee, thanks, Dean," he said dryly.

Dean just grinned at him.  "Besides, it looked better on you."  John groaned, reaching for Dean but he moved out of the way.

"I'll get you later."

"Herp, Murph, and Purf will save me," he taunted.

"Xander, the little creatures can't save Dean."

"I'm staying out of it.  He'll have to talk them into it anyway."  He petted his babies and they chattered, stealing some of his sausage.  "I didn't know you guys ate."  He frowned at them.  Then looked up.  "Vesvold?  Can I have a few minutes?"  The smiling demon appeared.  "Hi.  Like the new house?  I thought I'd let you see it before it became holy ground."

"I do like the house."  He leaned down to kiss Xander on the head.  "I do understand your reasons."

"I'd hate to lose you as a friend because some bigot hated humans."

"It's a good reason.  We both have time."  He smiled, petting him.  One of the pets tugged on his leg, nibbling on some crust John had given to it.  "Since when do you eat?"

"I don't know," Xander admitted.  "I've had them off a lot recently."

"They're meant to be off most of the time."  He scooped that one up, feeling the taint in it.  "Oh, dear."  He recalled all three of them, giving him a small smile.  "They've been a bit warped by another demon.  I'll try to clean them of the taint before you get hurt."  He winked.  "I do like the bed."  He disappeared.

"Now you need a dog," Sam said, reaching over to pat Xander.  Xander nodded.  "Maybe we can go to the pound tomorrow?"

"I might like that."  He finished his pizza, grimacing at it.  "They put something on it."  The slice disappeared and so did the rest of the pizza.  "Guess we're not hungry," Xander said.  He got up and went to light the candles on the altar he had set up in a back room.  He felt arms go around him and looked back.  "Hi, Bliss."

"Xanner!"  He hugged him better.  "You need more happies."

"My pets got sick thanks to a demon."

"Meanies."  He looked around the house.  "Ooh."  Xander smiled, bringing him out so he could see the others.  "Sammy!"  He flew over to hug him, landing a bit on his head but Bliss was still trying to master landing a few centuries later.  "Hi, Sammy hair!"  He was still convinced it was a pet, he knew it was.  He'd feed it if he could ever find the mouth.

"Dad, this is Bliss, Cupid's son," Dean said.  Bliss beamed and waved.  "Bliss, this is mine and Sammy's dad, John."

"Hi, John."  He flew over to hug him too.  "You need more happies too."  He flew back to cuddle Xander.

Of course, that's when a demon who wanted Xander took them all to stake his claim.

"John, guard the baby," he ordered, handing him back, putting them in the middle of the younger trio.  "Show yourself.  Now."

"All this could be yours," a voice hissed.  The room lit up to show silken pillows and a very large bed with soft, shiny looking sheets.

"The price ain't right," Dean called.  "No way, no how.  And you took someone's kid with us."

"He can be raised up here or sent back."

"No, we're all going to be sent back," Xander ordered.  "Before I have to get mean and evil."  Bliss cooed at that.  He grinned.  "I know.  Me being evil is very bad because it gives Strife a power rush, but he might like that."  He looked around then carefully loosened his bracelet.  Dean stopped him.  "I know what I'm doing."

"I don't care.  It might hit the kid and warp him."

Xander grimaced.  "Fine.  Show yourself.  I'm not playing this game."

"You are not so dangerous."  A green/blue lizard appeared, staring at him.  "You have not been in many years."

Xander pulled a sword out of his hair, letting it expand so he could kill that one.  More came piling in and he let loose with magic, frying them.

"Why in the hell are we endangering my son!" Cupid shouted as he appeared.

"We're trying to protect him from the little lizard demons who decided we were all pets.  They said I could raise him just as well," Xander said with a shrug.  "I'm trying to protect him."

Cupid stared at him.  "This is weird level ten shit."  He looked then cleaned up the mess, sending the rest of the lizards to his father with a message how they wanted Xander and had taken Bliss with them.  "Bliss."

"Daddy!"  He waved from his comfy position.  "Sammy hair!" he said with a point.

"I can see Sam's hair, son.  C'mere, squirt."

"No.  Not happy.  Needs happies."

Xander took the baby, kissing him on the forehead.  "You've made me very happy, Bliss.  You were a good boy to stay with John when we got attacked."

The baby stared at him then giggled.  "You so silly.  Bliss a God."

"I know.  Doesn't matter.  I'm still older so I have to protect you."  He handed him back.  Cupid snuggled his son.  "I tried to keep him safe."

"Chill, Xander.  I know it's not your fault."  They reappeared in the house.  "This is a kick ass....  Not in your reality."

Eris appeared, looking smug.  "We didn't think they could be partially mine?" she demanded.

"It called to Strife, not you," he defended.  "We only exposed it.  The two other guys are both partially yours."

"The real anchor isn't.  Why is he Strife's?" she demanded.

"Because I'm a level ten GHS," Xander said, shrugging a bit.  She gaped.  He grinned and waved.  Then he let his hormones out.  "See?"  She moaned.  "I'm sorry, but I didn't choose that.  I wouldn't have left you out.  You know that."

She pouted.  "It's still not right Strife gets all you guys.  You cause chaos."

Xander looked at his marks, then pointed.  "Isn't that one yours?"

She looked then smiled. "Thank you for remembering me."   She sent them back to his house.  Then she went to chew on the lizard demons for endangering Bliss.

Cupid looked at Xander.  Then pointed at the two Winchester boys.  "Sleep with them, Xander.  They'd make good keepers when they have to give up hunting some day soon because other hunters will think they're demon whores and taking deals from them."  He looked at his son.  "Subtle does not work on them.  At all."  Bliss grinned.  "Let's check the house.  Hey, Pops, need help with them?"

Ares appeared.  "Of course not.  They're already long gone."  He put the bracelet back on Xander and they went to bless the grounds.  Strife blessing it might draw more problems there.  Them doing it wouldn't.  "What was Eris on a rip about?" he asked quietly.

"Xander wasn't an anchor for her instead of Strife."

"We agreed all those higher level GHS are his."

"He let his hormones go and made her feel better since some of it was to her.  At least one mark."

"Huh."  He finished up, Cupid tied his blessings into Ares' and it was good.  They checked the house.  It was solid.  Ares put a shield over it so only invited demons could get in.  Then they went to check Bliss over.  "He did good protecting him."

"Bliss said he was silly since he was a god, not Xander."

"I'd hate to see Xander as a god," Ares said, shuddering a bit.  "Did you give him a better clue?"

"I made it blunt.  They apparently don't take the clue bus, Pops."

"Now and then, no, they don't."  They checked, the boys were still staring at each other.  John was howling in laughter in the bathroom but the three boys were staring at each other.  Ares made Sam move first, getting a glared at ceiling for it.  He tried Dean but he wasn't budging.  Xander was looking miserable so he appeared down there, glaring at him.  "What?"

"I don't want to lose my friends."

"We're friends, really, Ares," Dean agreed.

"Do you have any idea how hard it's going to be to find him someone else?  They'd have to be immortal.  Have to know about demons or be able to learn how to hunt demons.  Have to be able to work out with him.  Have to be compatible sexually."  He stared at them.  "Got any other suggestions?"

"Is that why he was put with us?"

"No.  Cupid didn't step in until you guys went on the long road trip.  Then he realized how good of a match it was."  Xander stomped off to his bedroom.  He looked at them.  "Get a clue, guys.  Before I have to see Cupid and Aphrodite with frizzy hair from the stress.  It's never a good thing."  He disappeared.  "We even kept him pure for you guys."

John came out of the bathroom.  "In a way, it would suit you guys."

"What about hunting?" Dean asked.

"How many are going to be here?" John countered.  Sam sighed, walking off to calm Xander down.  "He's right about the other hunters, Dean.  It's gotten around that you two are different for some reason.  They think a demon did it.  I can't bust you two by putting out GHS or immortal stuff."

"Even if you did, they'd think the same thing," Dean said.  "I like Xander, but I like girls more."

"Now and then you three are going to need to hire outside anyway," he said patiently.  "Look, just think about it.  I'm going to talk to Ellen on the way back to Bobby's.  She can straighten out most of the young idiots.  You two are going to stay here with Xander until you're sure nothing's getting into this house without an invite or a tank.  Including the lawn guys because I *know* Xander won't remember to mow that acre he has out back."

"We can do that.  Help him finish up the shopping and that stuff.  Help him set up the weapon caches.  The safe.  Maybe the fish tank for the stones to be shown off in."

"Good.  However he wants. You three can argue about furniture all you want.  I let Mary do everything as long as I had a comfortable recliner and just signed the checks.  It's a wife's job."

Dean gave him an odd look.  "This idea doesn't freak you out?"

"It does, but I talked to Ray before they left about that issue.  As much as I consider you both my boys, and him an extra strange son, you're not really related.  There's no laws against foster kids or adopted kids dating."  Dean nodded once at that.  "There's also no way you three are having babies to make retarded."

"In other words you're cool with it?" Sam asked from the hallway.

"Not fully.  I don't want to watch it, hear details about it, or worry about planning a wedding," he said dryly.  Sam smirked at that.  "But Ray did point out that you three aren't really related so it's not that unnatural."

"We'll think about it," Dean said.  John nodded at that. "Think we can stop them?"

"I hope so.  If not, beat their ass and if the cops are called hand them over."  They shared a look and Dean nodded at those orders.  "Think how many higher demons you'll have problems hunting," he finished dryly.

"Don't remind me."  He looked at Sam.  "He good?"

"Pouting."

Dean sighed, heading to talk to Xander.  He leaned in the doorway.  "Just because he suggested it doesn't mean we have to jump, Xander.  We like you for a lot of reasons.  That way may come some day but we'll have to see.  Until then, Dad's going to deal with the hunters who think we're all sucking demon cock while we set up the security and the weapons caches."  Xander looked at him.  "No big deal.  Hell, it may happen some year.  We've got time."

Xander nodded.  "Good point.  How am I wearing this out?"

"Work yourself off," Dean said.  "Or practice.  That used to do it for you."  Xander smiled slightly.  "You need to keep in practice anyway.  You can be jumped by another immie too."  Xander nodded at that.  "Now, you wanna come out?  If not, we'll probably all hit the sack.  Dad'll be gone tomorrow morning."

Xander got up and got something, going to hand the small bag to John.  "For on the road."  He gave him a hug then went to curl back up in his bed.  It was a huge bed and really lonely without his pets.  He would have to get a dog.  Soon.  Tomorrow.  He could put that onto his list of things he had to get.  He flipped onto his back, deciding to take the world's best natural sleep cure.  His arm could be sore tomorrow.  He imagined what it might be like if Cupid was right - which he probably was; he was the God of Lust after all.  Him between Sam and Dean.  Him pleasuring both of them.  One of them taking him that first time.

He shivered and his hand sped up.  That was a good image.  Them sharing him like some bed candy.  Dean being a bit pushy about him doing it himself by climbing on their laps.  He groaned as he got off but he was nowhere near finished.  He groaned, licking his hand clean as the images kept going.  He'd have to make that first night special.  Very special.  Even if Dean would call him girlish again.  Dean opened Xander's bedroom door and came in to apply something he had paused to buy earlier.  The vibrating ring went over his cock head and Xander yelped as it got turned on.  Dean walked out very smug.  Xander came a second time and went limp, taking off the ring to look at.  "I'll have to look at those things.  Maybe they can help."  He put it aside and cleaned himself up with the baby wipes Sam had dropped into his room earlier.  Now he could sleep.

Up the hall John shook his head.  Xander was loud.  Mary had never been that loud.  Then again, Sammy was on the other side of Xander and he could hear him.  Fortunately the neighbors were pretty far away so no one would call the cops.  The one time that happened to him he had been mortally embarrassed.  He covered his head when he heard Dean going at it too.  Sammy was still louder.  He had no idea how they stood to be in the same house with that going on.

***

"I knew I forgot to mention a topic," Cupid sighed, shaking his head.

"Not like you need sex toys," Strife teased.  "You've got feathers."

Cupid smirked at him.  "Was that a hint that you wanted to play with them?"

"Ready, Daddy!" Bliss yelled.

Cupid sighed, shaking his head.  "After his bath and bedtime?"

"Look me up," Strife said with a small leer.

"Bliss, can't you wash your own hair?" he called, pulling Strife closer to kiss.  He moaned.  "Get grandma or grandpa to do it!"  He kissed him again.  "Hmm.  Hormoned?"

"Rush.  Xander had ta go evil ta save 'em."

Cupid moaned.  Evil and hormones?  That was an exciting combination.  The last time Strife had ended up hanging from the ceiling while he floated and took him.  They shared a smirk.  Then they ran for the bedroom, stripping on the way.

Bliss sighed, shaking his head.  "Silly adults."  He got out naked and went to find his grandfather, finding him with a few generals.  "Grandpa, need baths.  Daddy and Daddy Stwife giggling and naked."

Ares looked at him.  "Why are you naked?"

"Baff time."  He beamed at him.  "Daddy all giggly.  Xanner had to go evil."

Ares groaned.  "No wonder.  Go to my temple.  I'll be there in ten minutes.  Do not get into the water until I get there."  Bliss beamed, heading to play in the bubbles he'd create.  He looked at the generals.  "Cupid got dosed by one of his GHS members.  I have to cut this short."

"What's a GHS?" one of them asked.  Ares stole one of the introductory packets from Adam's house and tossed it down.  They looked it over then stared at him.  "Please tell me there aren't any in the service?"

Ares checked then nodded.  "Sixteen in the US, four in Britain, two in Germany and Russia each, and one in Egypt's.  But that one's AWOL because he was kidnaped the other night."

They groaned.  "What do we do about them?" another asked.

"They're fine as long as they're wearing it out.  If not, they turned into confused, pouty, teenagers who need laid.  The one who got Cupid is a level ten but a good planner if he ever got down out of backlog."  That got a single nod and they decided to make sure those sort were not in their service.  "Usually they handle themselves."

"I'm more worried about some of the other guys thinking they're morale helpers," one said bluntly.  "Or an up and coming officer deciding they're a reward for good work."

"If so, let them shoot the others.  You cannot let them know.  If anyone knows, they're more likely to be taken.  Generally lower are safer than higher.  Higher get snatched all the time."  He checked on the boys and took them back from the demon who had them, putting them back into their beds.  They never even realized.  "If there's any level tens, they probably can't serve."  He stood up.  "I'd better get Bliss ready for bed before my temple floats away on his bubbles.  Call me tomorrow and we'll finish this meeting."  He went to deal with his grandson.  He loved Bliss, but Cupid had bad timing.  He checked on them and sent ice water onto them for doing this without warning.  Strife picked up some ice to tease Cupid with.  He rolled his eyes, walking into the bathroom.  Bliss was dangling his feet and creating little ships to fight a battle for the bubble dragon.  Ares smirked.  Yup, that was his grandson.  Even if he was happier than any hippie ever born.

***

Dean saw the guy watching the house and nodded at it for Sam's benefit.  "Any idea?"

"No."

Dean looked back at Xander.  "There's someone watching the house."

"Want help?"

"No, I want you in here.  It's safer in here, Xander."

"I can fight."

"Yes, but you should save that for backup and waiting for rescues," Dean told him.  "Especially when we're here."  He checked his gun before heading out.  The man in the car sneered so he knew what he was.  He stood in front of the gate.  "What do you want?"

"You.  You turned sides," he said as he got out.  "I know you made some sort of dark deal.  Winchesters don't live like this."

Dean snorted.  "Not our house, sparky.  It's Xander's."

"He's the demon?" he said smugly.

"No, he's a guy we had to protect.  A hunter who ended up with a condition that makes him a worse demon magnet than Sammy ever was.  We spend a lot of time rescuing him from the higher ones who think he's a sex toy."

"John only has two sons."

"We got Xander when he needed protected a few years ago.  Everyone else knew that."

"That was a child."

"He was under a deaging curse," he said impatiently.

"I bet."  He pulled up a gun.  "We'll see, won't we?"

"Shooting at me is fatally stupid, dude," Dean assured him.

"One of us saw you in Las Vegas.  You were healing a knife cut."

Xander walked out of the driveway, coming up on the guy's other side.  "What makes you think they wanted to be given that gift?"  The man stared.  "Really.  They didn't ask for it.  They both hate it most of the time.  One of the ones who wanted me set that up for them.  Unless you think they want to watch everyone they know die some year soon?  Does that sound like fun to you?"

"Who're you?"

"Xander."  He smirked.  "Formerly of Buffy's crew.  I got hit with a deaging curse and got sent to John to protect me since I'm a bad demon magnet."  Two appeared, staring at him.  "Not now.  This is a hunter.  We'll beat your asses later."  The demons stared at him.  He turned the shotgun on one.  The cops showed up within two minutes of the gunshot.  That was a nice response time.  Especially since he tried to shoot Xander next and Xander was kicking his ass when they got there.  Dean was pulling him off the guy.  "No!  He tried to hurt both of us!  It's not your fault you got this fucking curse!"

The hunter groaned.  "Curses have outs."

"Not all of them," Dean said.  "Though yeah, we can still be killed.  Kinda."  He shrugged. "Dad go so hellishly drunk and pissed there was no way he was going to deal with it.  That's why we three protect each other."  He moved the shotgun away and put it on the hood of the car.  "He tried to shoot Xander for being a demon who had turned me and my brother Sammy from the light," he told the cop staring at them.

"And the green and gold things staring at Mr. Harris?"

"Demons," Xander said.  "He hunts them."  He nodded.  "He shot at one first then me.  So I kicked his ass."

"Good!  We like that attitude," he decided.  He even gave the boys a smile.  "Better a proactive response than waiting to be rescued by us."  He hauled the guy up.  "We'll take him to the ER, get him bandaged up, then deal with charges."

Xander stared at him.  "Do you honestly think Dean and Sam wanted this curse that took them out of the game?" he asked the other guy.  "Would you?"

"No," he moaned.

"Then I won't press attempted murder charges.  The gun discharge is all on you guys though."  That got a nod and they dragged him off.  Xander looked at Dean.  "Are you okay?"

Dean smacked him on the side of the head.  "It's not a curse," he said quietly.  "It's not a present but it can be a great gift.  We have a long time to do what we need to so others are safe."

"Yeah but that means you'll be without John and Bobby some year soon."

"That's the way things work, Xander.  Parents are supposed to die before their kids do."  He pulled him closer, staring into his eyes.  "You acted like a jealous wife."

Xander blushed.  "Sorry."

"No, it's fine.  It's nice to have someone take my fights for me.  You don't have to.  I can still kick ass better'n you."  He smirked, getting a smile back.  "Got me here, bitch?"

"Yes, Dean."

"Thank you."  Xander nodded, heading inside.  Dean followed then came out to talk to the cops who were cleaning up the area.  "Do you guys have any recommendations for security companies?"

"Three," one said, smiling at him.  "You need one that'll contact us instantly.  You need a good, monitored service, and you need one that won't mind when you load the house with weapons."

Dean nodded.  "We all like weapons.  I've got to head to California in a few days to pick up some of his."

"That's fine.  Hide them from us and the security company.  We'll drop a few names into the mailbox later."  Dean nodded his thanks and left.  He smirked at the one helping him.  "They seem pretty decent for being a bit tougher than the other two."

"Either that one's former military or his daddy was."

"Probably his father at his age."  They finished cleaning up.  "Think this'll happen again?"

"I heard we've got four demon hunters who roam around the state.  I know that one came down from Denver.  We caught him a few years back handling a spirit."

That got a nod.  "So we'll talk to him.  Wonder what that curse is."

"Probably the hormone thing.   You notice the boy had that same slinky undertone?"  They shared a look.  That one was a lower level.  That meant there were at least two in the house, maybe three or four.  They'd have to be careful around there.  They went back to the office.  The next officer past the  house dropped the security company recommendations off for them.  It'd save them some work and worry.  They hoped.

***

Dean found the weapons warehouse and presented Xander's key for it.  "I'm picking up for Xander Harris to finish his move."  He presented the letter Xander had written.

The guy nodded, looking it over.  "We're not that formal."

"He figured someone might say something."

"Not around here, son.  You gonna take long?  We close at six."

"If so, I'll get a room for the night."

"Thanks."  He pointed.  "Last one on the end.  Watch out because one of his friends has been lurking recently."

"I can do that.  Thanks."  He went to check the contents.  He'd need a trailer.  He went to rent one and came back, finding a redhead in his way.  "Rosenburg."

"Who're you and why are you in Xander's storage area?"

"Because Xander asked me to."  He stared at her.  "He's settled into a house and wanted the rest of his stuff."

"We heard someone broke into his other spot."

"No, he hired a moving company.  His bed is huge and weighs a ton.  Thieves only like portable antiques."

She glared, moving closer.  "Where is he?  He should be here.  He should be helping us."

He snorted.  "After your *friend* accused him of raping her because you told him not to come home?" he said sarcastically.  "Yeah, sure he'll come back.  Especially since he's under a deaging curse."

"Then his parents should..."

He burst out laughing.  "His parents were arrested, Rosenburg.  He made sure of it.  We made sure of it for him after seeing his scars."  She went pale.  "Now, butt out.  Xander wanted these safer than they are here."

"Where is he?"

"Safe."

"That's not possible.  He's safer here."

"Uh-huh.  Not hardly."  He walked around her.  She tried to stop him so he hip tossed her onto the ground.  He stared down at her.  "I was taught not to hurt girls unless they attack.  Are we clear?" he asked patiently.  She got up and ran off, calling someone.  He looked up.  "If I had Xander's magic, I could load it magically."  He got to work hefting and toting.  He had some nice cases.  Though he did have to check to make sure they had things in them.  A blonde stomped in with Willow.  "Butt out, Buffy."

"Do I know you?"

Dean looked at her.  "I hunt demons too.  Xander was given to my family to protect when a deaging curse hit him.  Since then he's decided these aren't safe here.  Never know when one of the other side's going to come and try to use them."  A succubus appeared and he shot it.  He had remembered a silencer at least.  He put his gun back and went back to loading things.  "Xander's safe, usually happy, has a nice house, and gets to hunt all the demons who want him whenever he wants.  Plus he's getting a puppy today.  After you two fucked him over I'm not surprised he didn't want to come back to pack this shit up."  He looked at them and found an officer.  He pulled out the letter, handing it over.

"It's still illegal."  Dean held up a card, getting a hiss. "Going to the society, boy?"  Dean nodded. "You sure?"

"I live with a level ten."

"Damn.  The Harris boy agree?"

"We live with a level ten."

"Even better."  He handed the letter back.  "How old was he when they said that?"

"Six."

"Poor kid."

"He's safe, content, and happy now.  Our family loves him and my father thinks he's another son."

"Even better."  He looked at the girls.  "I do believe they filed for a restraining order to keep you two out of his things, ladies.  Hoof it home."

"They're not going to keep him," Willow said angrily.

Dean looked at her.  "He could have come today and didn't want to.  You two fucked up one too many times.  Especially that little false rape charge you did."

"He would've stopped it!" Buffy shouted.

"How?  He doesn't like to be around drunks.  He wouldn't have been at the frat house full of drunks.  Beyond that, you never listen to him anyway!  You would've brushed him off so he would've had to knock you out or let you do it anyway, Buffy.  Next time, don't drink. You should've learned that lesson."

"He'd never be able to knock me out."

"Yeah he can.  I can.  The officer can.  Then again, drunks are pretty pathetic."  She shrieked as she attacked.  He knocked her down, then knocked her out with a simple choke hold.  He looked at Willow.  "Float her home, witch.  You both need time out to find the light switch again before you're in the dark permanently."  Willow retreated with Buffy.  He looked at the officer. "You gonna argue?"

"No.  We would like some of it back however."

Dean got him a few of the cases with a smirk.  "How's that?"

"That could work as a bribe."  He carried them off, going to find the local arms dealer.   They'd give top value and if he left anything, it'd be his too.

Dean finished loading the artillery into the trailer then paused to get a burger from the place across the street.  He grimaced but ate it.  He'd had worse on the road than the Double Meat Palace.  He walked back into the storage area, finding an older guy there.  "You're not getting him back.  They fucked up one too many times."

Giles stared at him.  "How did you knock Buffy out, young man?"

Dean smirked.  "My family's been hunting demons since I was four.  My father was a Marine, Mr. Giles.  It was a pretty simple choke hold.  Maybe if she didn't stink like old rum, it might help her self defense skills."  He got back to work with the loose weapons.  Some could fit into the back.  Some would fit into the trunk. Some would have to be covered in the back seat.  He knew the old guy was still watching him so he made a call.

"Caleb, Dean Winchester.  Do not start that shit.  No.  The same thing that happened to Xander only without the deaging curse, Caleb.  Yeah, that stuff.  No, that's part of it.  They blessed us to be with Xander.  They think we're a cute trio of pets," he said dryly.

He smirked.  "Meet me by LA tonight?  Because Xander's former stash is being emptied right now.  No, I'm doing it.  I don't think we need all this.  Xander said to handle it.  Hell, Xander's new patron saint Ares said to handle it.  Yeah, he dedicated himself to him and Strife, with a bit of Cupid thrown in," he said.  He smirked.  "Exactly.  Sunnydale.  Leaving by dark probably.  Thanks, man.  Let me know?  Sure."  He hung up and put the phone back then went back to tossing the weapons into the car.  He finally looked at Giles.  "He's not coming back for quite a while."

"What demon blessed you three?"

Dean shrugged.  "Who knows.  There's a lot of the higher levels who want us three to be their sex toys."  He smirked.  "They think we're sexy together."  Giles took off his glasses to clean.  "We've met ones on the High Demonic Council who are nice and protective of Xander.  Some who wanted to own us.  A few monsoon demons, a few lizard demons, a few other of the higher ones.  Before I met Xander I didn't think there was a worse demon magnet than Sammy.  Proved me wrong."  He went back to loading stuff.

"He has a hidden area underneath the floor," Giles said quietly, unhiding it for him.   He walked out.  He had to take those girls into hand and this was a good way to break their delusions.  Then they could talk the boy home, where he belonged.

Dean nodded after him.  "I'll tell him you want a letter," he called after him.  Then he went to check that area out.  He groaned.  That was not going to fit into the car.  Not even if he emptied the trunk.  He called his contact back.  "Hey, Caleb?  Think you can just come to Sunnydale?  Something's too big and I definitely don't want it here.  Because the slayer smelled like old rum, dude.  I can do that.  You sure?"  He read of the serial and ID number.  Caleb hissed at that.  "Exactly.  What should I do?  No, it's stamped National Guard.  Thanks, man."  He hung up and waited on the guy to call him.

The other stuff, well, it could sit in the back seat for now.  He hoped.  He covered it with a blanket and it was good.  He padded it with a few of his extra shirts so it looked less like boxes being hidden and more like moving things to the new house.  He checked everything, finding a letter on the floor.  He picked up the envelope and nodded, then put it into the trailer.  That got locked with a padlock.  The larger case finally called him back.  "Yeah, this is Dean."  He listened.  "The storage place across from the Double Meat Palace.  There, yup."  He hung up and pulled out of the way, going to hand in Xander's keys.  "He doesn't have another space, right?"

"Two more here unless he's got his bed and old Star Trek stuff."

"Bed yes, I haven't seen Star Trek."  The guy let him into that one.  Dean moaned but it was only a few boxes.  They got onto the boxes in the back seat and into the rest of the front seat.  He saw a military jeep pull in.  "He had an extra space under the floor."

"I'll charge extra next time."

Dean smirked and got in to drive away since they were carrying the case out.  Caleb called in a meeting location for a bit upstate.  That was fine with him.  They stopped at his house, which was well hidden and had no government spies.  Then Dean and he got to unload parts of the trailer and the car.  Hopefully they would not need artillery.  Dean wrote down the address.  "Xander's house."  He looked at him.

"They say he's cursed."

"He's got a hormone condition that draws demons," Dean said quietly.

"Is that what's wrong with Sammy?"

"No comment.  That's a quote from Sammy."  Caleb laughed at that.  "Honestly."  He smirked.  "Xander knows."

"I heard he used to hunt with the blond slayer girl."

"Um, yeah.  Though she's a bitch and she intentionally hurt him.  Then accused him of rape when he wasn't even in the same state as she was."

"Charming," he said dryly.

"Very.  Smelled like old rum earlier."  He leaned against the side of the car.  Everything was now in the trailer.  "We taught Xander our ways when he was deaged."

"Good to know."

"He's on holy ground."

"Even better for the boy."

"Sammy and I are going to be popping in there regularly.   We're helping him set up."

"I'll keep an ear out.  Give him my number if he needs more weapons."

"I can do that but you're more likely to have us, Dad, or Bobby calling for you.  The hormones can make him a bit scatterbrained sometimes."

"You sure you want him to have weapons?"

"He had to defeat four last night who wanted him, Caleb.  With Sammy."

"Shit.  Never mind.  Can I trade some of this off with ammo?"

"Sure."  Caleb smiled and went to get some for what he had left.  Dean packed it in there then padlocked the trailer again.  "Thanks, man."

"This curse you and Sammy got hit with?"

Dean gave him a smug look.  "The demons think we're sexy together.  Together we're worth more than apart.  They play harder than humans so they did it."

"Damn, boy.  You guys never have it easy."

"Dad freaked out."

"I can see why."  He patted him on the shoulder.  "Be safe in Colorado."

"We are."  He walked around to get in and drive off.  Caleb would send them the money once he had sold those things.  He saw a glow hit the trailer and started to pull over but Strife appeared. "Did you hide it?"

"It all looks like boxes," he said smugly.  "That way if you get another ticket they won't look."

Dean grinned.  "Thanks, Strife."

"Not an issue.  Good idea to dump the artillery too.  Boy shouldn't need it.  If he does, call."  He disappeared again.

"Of course we'll call," Dean said quietly.  "We like to yelp your way."  He heard a quiet cackle and grinned.  "Got any ideas to prank Sammy with this time?"  A good one hit him and he moaned in pleasure.  Yeah, he could do that.  Though his father still had the crown...

***

Sam looked out as Dean pulled into the driveway, heading out to help him unload through the garage.  He pulled the SUV out and Dean backed the trailer in.  Sam unhitched it so he could park the Impala in the other empty spot then the garage door was closed.  "Xander?" Sam called.

"Babies!" he squealed.

"You better not be pregnant," Dean joked.  Xander pounced him.  "I had to stop at a dealer we know, Xander.  The big cases were way too much."

Xander pouted.  "I understand.  Ares said you did.  We put up the shelves."  They hiked the guns, ammo, and other boxes inside.  Xander petted his box of Star Trek stuff.  That's why he was closer when the doorbell rang.  "Visitors," he called.  He bounced to the door and opened it, smiling at the woman.  "Yes?"

"Are you the boy who just moved in here?"

"I am Xander."  He grinned.  "Guys, leave off moving for a minute?"  They came out to join him.  "These are my buddies, Sam and Dean."

"Nice to meet you boys.  We've been wondering with all the trucks and deliveries."  She shook their hands.  "I'm Myrna, I live over there," she said with a point.  She smiled at them.  "You're awfully young.  Are you in computers?"

"Actually, my former lover dumped me for someone younger," Xander said.  "I got vindictive."  That was Sam's cover story they had thought up.  He grinned.  "I'm on palimony."

"At your age?"

He nodded.  "He wanted younger, cuter, and less squealy.  Pity the new one's a brat."

"Hmphm."  She patted him on the cheek.  "We have a good neighborhood here."

"I try very hard to keep to myself, ma'am."

"Good boy.  No wild parties?"

"No, ma'am, we're not like that," Dean said.  "Our father was here when we first came.  He made sure there's not many parties."

"Why move here?"

"A few friends in a mutual organization said it was a nice area.  Small enough to be cozy but big enough to be safe.  The local police are very nice.  We've already talked to them about how part of my palimony was in jewelry."

"No wonder they keep cruising by here.  I'll let the other wives know.  If you need anything, you just pop around to my house," she said firmly.

"Yes, ma'am.  Can we steal off her apple tree?"

"She'd fuss greatly, but there's only a few regulations about planting a few of your own."

"Each tree does help the environment," Sam agreed.  "I was thinking in the huge backyard you can land a small plane in."  Xander looked at him.  "It'd be a good use of the space."

"Okay."  He shrugged and grinned at her again. "They're so manly and tough sometimes."  She walked off giggling.  "Nice to meet you, Myrna."  He waved then shut the door, looking at them.  "Where in the backyard?  Dean, I made lemonade from the mix."

"Sure, I could use some."  They went to look.  Sammy was having landscaping fantasies and it was time to stop that.  This was not their house.  No matter what Cupid wanted.  He sipped, watching those two plot.

"It'll mean less ground to mow," Sam said.

"It'll mean having to use a push mower around them instead of a riding one," Dean countered.  Xander pouted.  "Not that I'm against trees. They're nice.  We do have to see if the neighbors won't fuss though."

Xander nodded.  "No one lives behind us."

"You can ask her what restrictions there are on trees this week."  Xander nodded, giving him a hug on the way inside to go back to moving and petting his babies.  Dean stopped Sam from going inside, staring at him.

"I know it's not my house," he said quietly.  "But Xander doesn't mind and it'd be good for him to deal with plants.  He does have that gift."

Dean nodded.  "That's fine then.  Are we thinking about retiring?"

"We'll have to the first time we die on duty," he said quietly.  "Because the demon will brag."

Dean nodded.  "Good point."  He let him go.  "Are you decorating your room too?"

Sam grinned.  "Just a quilt.  We blew a massive wad going curtain, towel, sheet, and throw blanket shopping.  Mine's handmade and it's about forty years old."  He grinned.  Dean smirked back. "I know but it makes it feel more like a home.  Jess would've loved this whole situation."

"Probably."  They walked inside to help Xander with the last few things then helped him arrange the armory.  He hadn't set up enough shelving of the proper sort but Dean knew what they needed so he could finish that in the morning.  Xander was babbling about apple trees versus cherry trees.  "You need to see which ones grow around here and ask about restrictions on how many you can plant," Dean reminded him.  Xander put on a shirt and shoes, bounding over across the street to do that.  They watched in case a demon took him once he was off holy ground.  Myrna's husband or whoever the older guy was gave him a horrified look but she came to tell him and answered all Xander's questions patiently then handed him a pamphlet.  He beamed, said thank you, and bounced back across the street.  They let him in and went to look it over while Xander babbled about the sort of trees that did good around here.

Sam looked at it.  "We can create a mini forest as long as none of them end up on another person's property.  Roots or anything.  It has to be 'not ugly', that's how it's stated, and it has to add to the property value.  Also, no one who looks over should be disgusted by the care of the tree or assaulted by rotten fruit smells.  So if you do get an apple tree you have to pick all the fruit, Xander."

Xander nodded, leaning closer to him to read over his shoulder.  "Do we like pears?"

"We can check the local market and see which ones you like the best, then plant those," Sam said.

"Grapes?"

"Grow on vines, not on trees.  We might be able to train a grape vine somewhere."  Xander beamed.  "We'll see what types you like then go to the local nursery."  Xander frowned.  "The type where you get plants, not the baby sort."  Xander 's frown cleared up.  "You're so backed up, dude," he said with a grin.

"You said we couldn't go get the puppy."

"Why not?" Dean asked dryly.

"Because we had to defeat the evil mailman who tried to kidnap Xander," he shot back.  "Go work out for an hour.  The pound's still open.  That'll give Dean time to get the stuff for the shelves."  Xander went to get his sword and go to the room they had decided was the practice area in the basement.  It was well vented so that was fine.  He leaned back, looking at Dean.  "How much was there?"

"Smaller u-keep-the-key place's bay."

"So, jail cell sized."

Dean nodded.  "With a place under the floor that held a major weapon.  That one I called Caleb about and he sent someone military."  That got a smirk.  "It was probably theirs anyway.  The bigger things I gave to Caleb to liquidate.  He said hi and thank god it's not him that's cursed."

"I can't see him as a GHS," he said dryly.

Dean choked, shaking his head.  "Bad mental image, Sammy."

"Sam, bitch."  He stood up.  "Make your list?  You're a bit backed up too."

"I know."  He went to deal with himself in the bathroom.  That's usually all it took.  Sam did the same.  Xander came up from practice and went to do the same thing and it was good.  They barely made it to the shelter with the round of showers before piling into the SUV.  Dean dropped them off and headed to Home Depot.  He could decorate his room a bit he guessed.  He could get everything at one place.

Sam walked Xander inside.  "He just bought a new house and wants a dog to play with.  He's a bit hyper and bouncy so the pet has to be a bit hyper and bouncy to play with him."

She smiled.  "We have a few who're hyper and bouncy."  She led them back, stopping to pet one dog.  Xander cooed at it.  "It's going tonight."

"Poor thing."

"Xander, one pet," Sam ordered.  Xander turned the deadly puppy eyes on him.  "Don't do that!" he whined.

"But, Sam!  He's going to die!"

Sam came over to look.  "It won't be able to play with you."

"So?  It can cuddle and keep the other puppy from being bored."

"Does it get along well with other dogs?" Sam asked.

"Unfortunately she needs to go to a single dog household.  She's a bit jealous."

"Think Bobby could use a dog?  He told me about Rumsfeld."

"He's looking for a new puppy to train that way."  He looked at the pitiful little dog and took a picture, sending it to Dean.  Dean texted back 'hell no'.  "Dean said to get something bouncy too."

Xander pouted at the dog.  "Poor baby."

"We do want to save one who's maybe on his or her last day," Sam offered.  Vesvold appeared and walked in, looking at the beast.  "Hey."

"I know a few people who look like you," he said.  The dog sniffed and gave him an odd look.  "Can I adopt this one?"  He smiled at her.  "I'm a friend of Xander's."

"Sure!  Let's make sure you two can get along."  She let him and that dog play while Sam and Dean got to look at the bouncy dogs.  She had two bigger dogs who needed a good home.  Plus one puppy that would end up a big dog.  "This one's...."

"Fang, from the Harry Potter movie," Xander said, smiling at it.  It sniffed him and sneezed but lapped at his fingers.

"The puppy is the sort Bobby could train.  Looks like it's half mastiff."

"Mastiff and something," she agreed.  "We think a lab by the tail.  She's still really little."

Sam nodded.  "We might be able to tell Bobby about her."  Xander squealed and pounced him.  He called while Xander went back to babbling at the puppies.  "We found a half mastiff/half they think it's a lab mix at the local pound.  Xander was thinking you needed a new friend to make sure you're protected and not bored.  Puppy.  How old?"

"Not more than four months."

"Under four months so still at the teething stage, Bobby."  He smiled.  "We can.  You can come see the house.  Sure."  He hung up.  Then he took a picture and sent it to Bobby's email.  He smiled at the response of 'that's an odd looking little sucker' but it was cool with him.  "Can we?"

"We don't mind.  She's going to be a huge dog."

"Our friend has a junkyard.  He's had a dog trained to help him patrol it."

"That's not a bad use.  He won't turn it violent?"

"No!  His last one used to knock me down to lick me."  She smiled at that.  "Heavy ass dog when you're twelve."  She laughed.  He looked at the two Xander were looking at.  Then he sighed.  "What are they?"

"We're not really sure.  I'm not so sure that one's not part wolf.  The other one's a beagle of some sort mixed with a sheppard of some sort."

Sam looked at them.  "One dog, Xander."

Xander frowned. "I know.  I'm trying to decide."

"Get the half wolf."

"Ray has a Mountie he works with a lot who has a half wolf who's deaf and steals donuts."

"That doesn't really surprise me about Ray," Sam said dryly.  Dean walked in.  "Like the bigger mutt or the smaller mutt?"

He stared.  "They're both kinda ugly, Sammy."

"They are not," Xander defended.

Dean gave him an odd look.  "What are they?"

"Are you going to be a purebred snob?" Xander demanded.

"No.  But I have no idea if they're going to be aggressive or protective of you.  We don't want you to get a dog that'll be a lap muffin when you need one to go on runs around the yard with you and protect you if something breaks in."

Xander considered it.  "That one's half wolf."

Dean let it sniff him but it growled and backed off.  "I don't know why you're doing that, dog.  I'm a nice guy."  He got up anyway.  "Okay."

Xander sniffed him.  "New cologne?"  Vesvold snickered and Dean stomped off.  The real Dean showed up and the wolf still growled.  He looked at Vesvold, who nodded it was Dean.  "What's setting her off?"

"Could be anything.  She's got some time left but we're still conditioning her to not react that way."  She led them to an even bigger, bouncier dog while Sam got the puppy to carry with them.  There were a set of puppies in a cage and Xander cooed.  "Puppies always go faster."

"Have to be outdoor trained," Dean warned.  "That's going to take work, Xander."

The kennel keeper gave him a look.  "What do you want him to have?"

"Something he can play with that won't mind if he gets caught up in something for an hour or so but it'll come nudge him to play with him.  Xander needs something that wants a lot of playing."

"Those are going to want it and they're young.  Training is going to be good for them.  Even obedience classes.  We have no idea what they are.  They were dropped off."  The puppy in Sam's arms wiggled to get down and went to pee on a puppy pad then came to sniff the other puppies, barking at them.  One lifted his head and blinked then put it back down to sleep.  "Shoot, those look like they need some attention."  She paged the vet from her cellphone and moved them to a more playful dog.  The boy would take anything that would love and play with him.  The other two were a bit more discriminating.  "Younger or older?"

"Younger," Sam said.  "Out of puppy teething and outdoor trained if possible."

She nodded.  They had two.  She noticed one was on the last day and pointed.  "That one's going today."  Sam whistled and that puppy came back to him, barking happily to show she was a good girl.

"You're a very good girl," Dean praised, reaching down to scratch her ears.  "You're going to be a huge sucker though."

"Bobby's looking to replace Rumsfeld."

"You'll do for that.  I know you will."  The dog barked and let him pet it.  He smirked.  "You're such a puppy."  It howled and pounced Xander's hair because the breeze was blowing it, having to be saved from the hairpins.  Sam took it to cuddle while Xander cooed at it.  Then at the new puppy.  It was so pitiful looking.  "Anything we should know on this one?"

"He's a bit sad sometimes.  He used to have a family but they moved and left him."  They shared a look.  "That one and the gray dog up the row are both on their last days by the tags.  That one's younger, barely six months but outdoor trained."  They went to look.

Xander pulled out that dog to look at it.  "I know, we can't save them all."  Another human looking demon appeared and cooed at the sad one.  Xander beamed and it and kissed it on the cheek, then looked at the younger dog.  It was definitely a bit hyper.

"He was found running around the canyon national park area.   Someone had either lost him or dropped him off."  Someone came to see if they were done.  She let them check Vesvold and the other demon out.  He wasn't sure about a dog but Vesvold said something quietly to it and it nodded, agreeing to take it and give it to him if he didn't want it after all.  It'd make Xander happy so he quit pouting.

Xander looked at the puppy, letting it sniff him.  It barked and wagged its tail.  It liked Dean and Sam.  It got let out and ran around a few times before coming back to love on Xander.  "I love him."

"He's cute," Dean agreed.  Sam nodded.  "So this one and the one for Bobby?"  He smiled.  "If he doesn't want it of course we'll be keeping her."

"That's fine," she agreed.  "We've only had the puppy for a few days."  She took them to check out.  Xander paid cash, got them leashes, and made a good donation.  Once they were gone she counted the donation jar.  "Oh, my god," she called.

"What?" the manager called.

"The guy who was wanting the young, hyper dog?  He just donated seven thousand."

"Wow."  She came over to look.  All in hundreds.  That was cool.  Dean leaned back in.  "Needed some of it back?"

He grinned. "No.  That's the rest of the moving fund.  Food?"

"Puppy food for both of them, large dog formula."

He nodded.  "Thanks."  He went back to the SUV, moving Bobby's dog out of his way.  "Do we have any money on us, guys?"

"I've got the backup wallet," Sam said.  He looked inside it.  "Four grand."

"We'll hit the pet warehouse now so we don't have to go back out."  They found one and pulled in, taking the puppies with them.  The salesclerk cooed over the dogs. "Newly rescued," Dean said.  "They said puppy food, large breed formula?"

"We have a few good brands with that," she said, taking a cart to lead them off.  They got food, food and water dishes that were slightly raised to help them eat better.  Xander insisted after hearing that bigger dogs could get twisted stomachs so it was recommended.  He wasn't sure why but the guys would humor him.  It'd be easier to fill anyway.  They went to the toys section and let them pick their own.   The back of the SUV was filled.  The two fifty pound bags of dog food filled up a lot of space.  They went home and found a message from John on the answering machine.

"Boys, are we still all right? I don't have a contact there who'll tell me what you're doing and you haven't called.  Let me know.  I'm heading back that way in a week or so."  Then he hung up.

Xander called and babbled about the dogs, cuddling and petting them, letting them bark at John now and then.

Dean went to fix the armory, Sam went to put down the food, which drew the dogs.  Once the armory was done Dean went to put the new lamp and fan in his bedroom.  They came back and Xander was still babbling at Dad so Dean took the phone.  "Hey, Dad.  We're fine if Xander forgot to tell you that."  He listened.  Then he smirked.  "That's fine.  Sure.  We can do that.  We did pick up one for Bobby.  Half mastiff, half lab they think according to Sammy.  It's a huge little sucker.  Already a porker too.  Get out of his food, eat your own!" Dean called.  He shook his head.  "Anyway.  Sure, I can do that.  Later, Dad."  He hung up.  "He's almost out of minutes, Xander."

"Oh okay."  He went to check on the dogs.  "Maybe we should feed them separately."

"We'll figure it out," Sam promised.  Xander took Bobby's dog off so he added more to the other bowl as quietly as he could.  The puppy barked and dug in, eating more so he could go play too.  They went outside to play with the dogs.  Well, he and Dean sat down on the porch to watch Xander play with the dogs until they were too tired to chase him.  They came up to cuddle them and it was nice.  Xander came back panting and cuddled in too.  Even nicer.  They smiled when they heard him snore.  The puppy was a very good idea.

***

John and Bobby pulled into the driveway together.  John's truck had broken down so he was at Bobby's getting it fixed.  They got out and headed for the door, hearing the barking already.  "Someone's up," Bobby decided, knocking on the door.

A very sleepy looking Sam in just boxers opened it.  "Hey, guys.  Only one truck?"

"Broke down," John admitted.  "Someone shot my engine."  A huge, slobbery puppy ran at them.  "Damn, he does kinda look like your dog, Bobby."

"He does."  He scooped the puppy up, letting it lick him.  It was more than happy to be saved from the cuddly daddy this morning.  "Aww, did Sammy's frog boxers scare you?"  They walked inside.  He checked.  "Girl dog."

"You didn't have to knock," Sam complained.

"Security system?" John said.  Dean walked past and gave them both the code to it.  "Thanks, Dean.  Cute jammies."

"Xander got them for me."  He smirked.  "Cute boxers, Sammy."

"Bite me."  He went back to bed.  Xander had kept him up half the night.

Dean smirked.  "Xander and Sammy stayed up talking about geek shows."  He scratched the dog's head and the other one came out to bounce and yap at him.  "What?"  It yapped.  The  other one barked.  "Oh, food time."  He led them back to the kitchen to put down food.  "Bobby, watch her, she'll chow down hers and then his."  He started coffee and sat down at the table.  "So that's what Xander rescued.  Vesvold rescued a footstool with fur.  Another demon got a sad looking puppy that had no time too."

"Why?" John asked.

Dean shrugged.  "Not playful enough for Xander?"

"Oh."  They settled in to watch the puppies.  The silver one came over to snuggle in Dean's lap.  "Looks like he's comfy."

"He usually is.  He's hiding from Xander.  He doesn't like to cuddle in the big bed, keeps getting lost in the blankets."  He petted the small back gently, getting a growl of pleasure.  "You behave.  That's my dad and Bobby."  The dog barked at them then put his head back down.  The other one came over to investigate them, ending up hopping up next to Bobby to stare at him.  "She's good."

"She is."  He petted her and got a very wet puppy kiss for it.  He wiped it off but smiled. "You might do good in the training."

"She's learned not to pounce Xander's hairpins when she chases his hair.  Or to cuddle too tightly to his hair.  She's learned not to chew on Xander's bed too."  Bobby laughed, nodding a bit.  "She's trainable and smart, but likes to ignore us now and then."

"All dogs do it.  Cats are worse at it."  He went back to petting her.  She loved him, cuddling up next to him to get all the ear scratches she wanted.  "How late were they up?"

"Four.  Which was why Sammy was such a grump."  He got up and put the puppy on his fathers' lap so he could make breakfast.  Xander wandered in naked.  "Xander, clothes," he ordered.

"Fuck off," he muttered.  He got into the fridge and walked off again nibbling on a grape.  He went back to bed, flopping down face first.  That was fine, the bed was very comfy.

Dean went in to cover him again then came out to wash his hands and start breakfast.  "He's the better cook but I'm not too horrible at it."

"Is he running around naked a lot?" John asked.

"No.  Just now and then when he's tired he forgets."  He shrugged, making them eggs, toast, and some fried slices of deli ham.  He brought over plates and more coffee.  "There, eat.  We finished his special GHS slave toy bathroom yesterday."  John grimaced at that description.  "You should see it."  They went to look and came back blushing.  Dean grinned.  The marble tub surround did look good.  He had picked it out.  There was a table in there they could strap Xander down onto if he needed it.  The tub had all sorts of nozzles, buttons, and heaters.  The small sauna was nice.  The cabinet of handcuffs, straps, and toys was better.  "It's for when he's too backed up and gets fussy."

"I remember that mood," John admitted.  He shook his head.  "Tub feel nice?"

"Tub's a wonderland of fun," Sam said as he came in dressed.  Both puppies quit begging to bark at him. "Morning, kids."  They went back to begging while Sam got his own coffee and came over to sit down.  "Dean, do we need to round out his armory?"

"We can.  He has almost no shotguns.  Handguns out the butt but no shotguns."  John gave him a look.  Dean pointed.  "Same combo as the system."  John went to look, reading off the security code.  It let him in and he sighed in pleasure.  "They had an artillery thing going out there."

"Boy probably thought he needed it with what happens," Bobby agreed.  He looked down at the begging and gave them the last piece of his eggs and one off John's plate for the other one.  They barked and ran off.  "They're good looking dogs."

"They are," Sam agreed.  "They're pretty good dogs overall.  Now and then they don't quite make it all the way outside if they're too excited."  He opened the back door and the dogs ran out to water the grass then came back in to nap on the couch.  The bigger used the smaller one as a pillow but he was getting used to that.  John shut the door on the way back.  "Dean had to see Caleb about a few things."

"So I heard."  He sat down and looked at his plate, then at Bobby.  "You gave in to begging?"

"Just the one piece."  He smirked.  "Not like you needed that little bite of egg."

"Fine."  He finished up and sipped his coffee.  "How are things otherwise?" he asked.

"Xander's going to the spa today," Sam said.  "He found a gourmet chocolate and candy shop that he nearly bought bare.  Ice cream too.  We had to install a chest freezer for him.   Plus upgrade the stove to something bigger.  He donated to the pound when we went.  The house is fully set up."

"So when are you two hitting the road again?" John asked.

"We had to take out two hunters who think we're evil," Dean said.  John moaned.  "One tried to shoot Xander, Dad."

"I heard."  He leaned on the table.  "Are you two taking a break and then going back to hunting?  I've talked to Ellen.  Xander's point about a curse was heard and passed on."

"Then we had to talk to Xander about how this wasn't as bad as he thought," Sam offered. "We'll head around soon."

John nodded.  "That's fine.  Anything going on around here?"

"We think there's one in the national park with all the canyons.  There's been a few campers who disappear every now and then.  I was looking into that last night.  Oh, Bobby, he ordered from an occult bookstore he found in New York.  You might want to go over the library and make sure he doesn't need anything else."

"I can do that."  He watched as Xander wandered in, still naked and half asleep, settling in Sam's lap.

"Nightmares?" Sam soothed.  Xander nodded, snuggling in.  Dean got up to get him a bathrobe, which Sam talked him into wearing.  "What did you see?"

"Bad demons.  Big, huge, bad demons.  Giles gave me to them," he whispered.

"Over his dead body," John said firmly.  Xander blinked at him.  "The asshole tries it and we get to take him out too, Xander.  He's clearly crossed over if he does that."  Xander nodded, leaning across the table to get a hug.  Then he went back to cuddling Sam.

Bobby grinned.  "You two are cute together."

"I'm calling them the hair twins," Dean said.

Xander blinked at him.  "I like my hair."

"I like your hair too.  Doesn't mean you and Sammy don't have too much for most boys."

Xander stuck his tongue out.  "Boys like my hair to play with."  He put his head back down.  "Thank you, Sam."

"Welcome, Xander."  He stroked his back, looking at the adults.  "So, what else is new?"

"Ellen said hi," John said.

"We've got to stop in and see her."

Dean nodded.  "We can do that.  She's not that far away."  He finished up his coffee.  "Want some?"  Sam nodded.  Dean got him some, letting him talk Xander into drinking it so he'd wake up.  He nodded the other guys to join him in the living room.  He closed the armory on the way through but that was fine.  "Yes, he's backed up," he said quietly.  "Yesterday was rainy and he was feeling pitiful.  Someone human tried to poison him.  We're not sure if it was a hunter or not."

John nodded at that.  "Did we get a good description?"

"No.  Not yet."

"Then we'll have to see.  We can stay for a few days."  Bobby nodded at that.  The dogs woke up to look at them.  "Nap, boys."  They came over to nap on them.  Xander's puppy curled up next to Dean.  The other one looked from John, to Bobby, then hopped up in Bobby's lap.  She turned a few times then cuddled down to nap again.

"Soon you'll be too big for that," Bobby teased, but he did pet the poor girl's back.  He could see training this one  "She fixed?"

Dean shrugged.  "I'm assuming so since she was at the pound."

"Hasn't hurt her growth any," John joked.  "She's not fat either."

"No, Xander ran any puppy fat off her," Dean assured him.  "The neighbors got a bit pissed when they played bark tag the other day.  There's a bunch of older people in the neighborhood.  Sammy told them all about how it was palimony that afforded the house."

John smirked.  "Good to know."

"He and Sammy have been making landscaping plans too."  John gave him an odd look.  "He's helping Xander plan trees and a grape vine."

"It'll take a bit for either one to produce but that'll be pretty," Bobby said.

Dean nodded.  "That's what we told him.  We're considering it.  He went to the store to see all the varieties of apples so he could decide which one he wanted to plant.  Grapes too.   He knows this isn't grape country but he doesn't seem to mind as long as it grows some for him.  He was thinking a cherry tree but we're not sure if it'll do good here or not.  Local rules say he can't let it fall of and rot if he does plant one."

"Is that empty lot behind you giving him fits?" Bobby asked.

"No," Dean said, shaking his head slightly.  "Not yet.  Xander was thinking about buying it so he could expand the back lawn and tree lot."

John smirked.  "That's not a bad plan.  Trees can give good cover and not all of them have to be useful trees.  The other side of that development butts up against county property, right?"

"Unused, but yeah.  There's talk about selling it to a developer for a mall."

"Is he going to buy any other lots?" Bobby asked.

"No clue," Dean admitted.

Sam came out after he put Xander back in bed.  "He joked about buying the whole neighborhood if they moved, that way he could have a huge estate full of trees so he'd be good to the environment and make up for his SUV."  He sat down, letting the puppy crawl over onto his lap.  "Hi, Bogart."

Dean shook his head.  "That's a stupid name."

"It is not."

"It is too."

"Xander liked it."

"Xander wanted to call the other one Muffin."  Bobby laughed, shaking his head.

"I think now he's calling her Eris."

Bobby burst out in louder laughs. "After the Goddess of Discord?"  They smirked and nodded.  "Does she cause problems?"

"No, but she has inconvenient timing when he wants to have fun," Sam said dryly.

"Ah."  He looked at her.  "Is that your name?"  She barked and wagged her stumpy tail. "Fine, I could like that."  He petted her and she adored him.  She got up to lap him until he begged.  "Enough!"  He settled her back into his lap and she gave him a smug look, getting comfortable to finish her nap.  "She'll be good to train."

"We thought you might be ready to train another one," Dean said with a grin.  "It was cute that Vesvold adopted the little walking, furry footstool with the squashed face."

John shuddered.  "Society dogs, eeugh."

"One of the other neighbors wanted Xander to get a more fashionable dog but he pouted her into submission," Sam said with an evil smirk.  They all smirked back.  "We did put up a sound lessening spell to help them deal with us.  They thought we were going to throw wild parties."

"Or get shot by his ex," Dean added.  "Who they think is mobbed up."

"With the way his wealth appears, it's not an unreasonable assumption," Bobby said.  They pointed at the pretty water garden with pretty stones lit so they shined.  "Are they real?"  They both nodded.  "Huh.  It's artistic and pretty."

"Plus, no one would think about stealing those," Sam said.  "Oh, that reminds me.  Dad, I need you to talk to Xander about his gambling."

"He getting hooked?" he asked.

"He hardly ever loses but because he's bored he's went to find the bad guys locally and remove their wallets."  John gaped.  "One of the local games was busted and he said it was so they couldn't use them for bad plans.  He turned over all his winnings to the local cops as a donation."

John groaned but Bobby was laughing.  "That sounds like the boy."

"Yes, it does," Dean said, giving him an odd look.  "When was this?"

"The day you were putting in the new tub."

"Oh."  He shook his head.  "How much?"

"About a quarter of a million."

Dean moaned, slumping some.  "So, his new poker buddies are all thugs?"

"Drug dealers."

"Charming!" Dean agreed  with mock happiness.  "Any other good news you didn't tell me?"

"The cops thought it was cute of him.  A slightly evil plan for the side of good as one put it."

Dean thumped his head on the couch.  "We'll talk to him about that."

"I will," John promised.  He and Bobby shared a look then at them.  "Has the financial guy gotten in touch with him?"

"Oh, don't remind me," Sam moaned.  "Six pages to be signed, which wasn't so bad.  Then he called around to all the banks.  Xander was using a demon bank."  John slumped.  "They were giving him eight percent interest.  The guy decided to move it because of the demons even with the good interest."  They sighed at that, nodding a bit.  He held up a hand.  "There's four security boxes.  Ten hidden accounts that he had to get into specially to have them moved.  The four security boxes have tips Xander didn't want to look at.  One has to stay in New York so he had it given to the local museum with the stipulation it stay in the city permanently.

"He moved all that to a local bank, which sent a big fruit basket.  Huge thing full of tropical fruit.  Moved the security boxes to Denver.  Nowhere closer had the security it needed.  He arranged for a jewelry store to come in and appraise them for him.  He showed up to go over it with Xander and Xander had to make him talk in normal english because he didn't know anything about money.  Still doesn't.  He walks off humming whenever you talk about it.  He did all the stuff for the resort and the plane.  Found someone to buy the race horse.  He set up a good, tax sheltered trust that will pay into an allowance account and set all the bills to be auto-drafted.  Xander still thinks CDs are only for music even after all that."

"That doesn't include the stashes we have here at the house for emergencies or because we haven't gotten to the new box in Denver."

"So he's firmly on good financial footing?" John asked.

"For the next millennium, Dad.  Even if he does shop every day until then.  Plus interest and dividends from the resort.  Which is doing wonderfully.  The manager likes him and Xander told him he didn't understand anything he did, so just do it so everyone was a good customer who wanted to come back and gamble more."

"He did suggest expanding the shopping area and the convention possibilities," Sam offered.  "They'll gladly host the next convention in Vegas for Adam."

"I'm sure the last one made the resort a lot of money," Bobby said.  "Adam put that around?"

"It was convention gossip by the time everyone left.  They all knew Xander won it during the convention so it wasn't a matter of putting it there because he owned it," Sam told him. "So now the next one is in Boston?" he asked Dean, who nodded.  "In about ten months."

"It's a beautiful city," John said.  He grinned at Bobby.

"Oh no!  I saw plenty I didn't want to see at that one.  Hire him a bodyguard."

"We might have to," Dean said, looking at Sam.  "If we go back on the road?  We need to go but we might not make it for the full thing."

Sam nodded.  "We might."  He looked at John.  "Which means former military probably?"

"Should be," he agreed.  "One you can trust.  I'll casually ask around to see if there's anyone.  Adam might know too.  I asked, the society does have a commando rescue team.  Former Special Forces members.  They're good.  So they might know of one who can do it privately if you two can't go to the convention.  What about the plane?"

"He and Steve decided to sell it and rent whenever he needed one.  Did you know private planes were going for six mil for a small one, even used?" Dean asked.  "Only about twenty grand to rent though."

"Wow," Bobby said.

"Yeah, well, Xander spent that much furnishing the house.   He has good taste," Sam said, stroking the couch.  "But I'm still not liking the library."  Bobby and the dog went to look.  He came out pale. "Possessed?"

"Two are.  One's nearly a forbidden book to look at for the light."  He sat down again.  "It was nice he had a meditation section."

"Adam and Ray suggested it could help him when he's backlogged," Dean said with a smirk.  "He's also got a trainer coming in to work with him on martial arts stuff.  He's shown off what he does know and the guy understands about him needing it for self defense.  He admitted he wanted to steal Xander after watching him move.  We turned the basement into a better practice area and I upped the ventilation fans down there."

"Good idea," John decided.  "Which one?"

"He teaches a few forms at the lower levels.  If Xander wants to go higher than the basics of multiple styles he'll recommend someone," Sam said.  "I take his with him."  Dean nodded he was too.  "It's expensive but safer than sending him to a dojo to train."

"Much," John agreed. "Cooking stuff?"

"He's been living on the food network," Dean admitted.  "We're going DVD and book shopping again tonight if you guys wanted to come.  We'll need the help carrying."  They nodded at that.  That sounded like the boy.  Xander came out more awake and dressed this time.  He smiled at John and hugged him, then Bobby.  He settled between the boys, cuddling Sam's side.  "You two are awfully cuddly," he teased.

"His muscles make a better pillow than yours."

"Mine are harder," Dean agreed smugly.

"Yours are in the wrong spots," Xander countered.  "He's padded in the right spots to cuddle."  He smirked.  "I'll cuddle if you want."

"No, I'm good.  You cuddle Sammy."  Xander nodded, cuddling him.  "Bobby's really liking Eris."

"You sure you won't mind if I take her to train?" Bobby asked.

"I'll miss her but she's a good dog and she'll do good training.  She already barks at any demons who show up."  They smirked at that.  Xander yawned again.  "Can we go out for breakfast?"

"Dean cooked," John told him.

Xander frowned.  "Hmm.  Let me eat then."  He went to make himself something, both dogs racing after him because he gave in to begging.

Bobby shook his head.  "He's going to spoil that dog."

"Ours is going to obedience class," Sam said proudly.

"Is that safe?" John asked.

"It's in the open.  It's a few hours a week.  Gets him out of the house.  It's good for the dog too."

"It's good for most every dog," Bobby agreed.  Xander came out with french toast and he smirked.  "Needed sugar?"

"Syrup right hand to the Goddess Chocolate," Xander mumbled through a bite, sitting down to lean on Dean this time.

"Did I need cuddled?" he teased.

Xander nodded.  "Yup, sure did."  He fed him a bite of his breakfast, making Dean moan.  He smirked.  "I'm getting to be a really good cook."  He finished up and let the dogs see the plate.  They lapped but the syrup was too much for them so they went back to cuddling people.  Eris looked at John, who pointed at Bobby.  She whimpered so he let her between them.  She got to stretch out, letting him scratch her ears.

"I've heard you groan that way," Sam teased.

Xander smirked back. "I'm not the only one."

"Boys," Bobby said with a small grin.  "You wanted to go DVD shopping?"

"For cooking videos and movies," he said, beaming at him.  "Can we all fit into the SUV?"

"Only if you put up that optional third seat," Sam told him.  "We can drive ours, you can drive yours, they can drive something."  Xander pouted but nodded.  Dean and John both looked at him.  "What?"

"I've been noticing that Xander being backed up means he shouldn't drive," Dean said.  Xander looked up at him.  "You tend to swerve with the music, Xander.  Maybe after the spa."

"I thought that was tomorrow."

Dean checked the reminder on his phone.  "Nope, today in an hour and a half.  Go shower."  Xander yipped and ran off to do that.  He looked at Sam.  "We need to get him one of those reminder calendars."

"They have electronic ones," he agreed.

"How bad was he swerving?" John asked.

"The porsche has very good handling and it was an Air Supply tune by the tune he was swerving out."  John moaned.  "Yeah."  He looked at Sam, who shrugged, then at John.  "Do we think cabs could be practical?"

"No," John said.

"Now we know why most guys his level have at least two lovers and a whole bunch of guards," Bobby pointed out.  That got a nod from John.  "I'm betting their lovers don't work either."

Dean shook his head.  "The one I talked to didn't.  She had three.  That's what she did most of the day then she called in her masseuse to deal with her between them.  Plus the guards when she surged.  He's still wearing his bracelet.  Adam wasn't sure that's a good idea.  It can lead to a blast of them when he takes it off."

John nodded.  "The security company is good?"

"The security company is excellent," Sam promised.  "They have it monitored for emergencies.  They call us and they're on the phone to the local cops if no one answers by the third ring.  If we haven't called to say they'll be out of town and there's no movement in a day, they'll call the local cops and then our cellphones if they didn't register us being here.  They do a twice daily body count by sensor.  They have cameras that tape the driveway and the garage.  Plus the gateway and the back lot.  They're part of a larger company that has worked with GHS before."

"Sounds a bit paranoid," Bobby admitted.

"He's been snatched twice by humans since he got here," Dean said quietly.  They both nodded at that.  "Most of the demons aren't coming since he made himself clear.  The locals have been very good about patrolling around here."

"Which leads back to the neighbors thinking Xander's ex is mobbed up," Sam added with a slight grin.  "They do know he has weapons.  The security company knows we have weapons.  They're the ones that put in the code pad for the armory door.  They called the other night when Xander left the door open to clean them."

John nodded.  "Sounds like he's well watched."

"But it doesn't help him when he's bored or when he's outside the house," Dean said.

John considered it.  "Unless you two go with Cupid's plans...."  The phone rang.  "Harris residence," he answered.  He smiled.  "Bobby and I are visiting, sir."  He handed it to Dean since he was closer.  "Security company."

"It's Dean."  He smiled.  "No, that's our father and might-as-well-be uncle.  Yeah, that's their truck too.  Thank you for checking.  No, we're heading out for a while, why?"  He grimaced.  "They didn't tell us they were going to be doing work on the lines.  If it goes off can you guys start the backup generator remotely?"  He nodded, taking the phone to go start it for them.  They flipped it fully on.  "That did it.  Thank you."  He hung up and it went back to idle status.  He went back up to the living room.  "The electric company's going to be working on the lines."

"It took them two hours to notice us?" John asked.

"They only do body counts twice a day," Sam said.  "That way it's not invasive and if he has someone just drop by they're not often caught.  They do it about when he gets up, which is usually about ten or so.  Then around ten at night.  We never notice it but they did call about the dogs trying to break out one morning."

Dean snickered.  "Eris there led an escape attempt through a window.  We had to install a puppy door into the garage, and there's a way out for them out there."

"That's a good security precaution," John decided.  "Not too invasive."

"It's for his own safety," Dean agreed.  "He understands that.  As long as we make it unobtrusive, they're not taping inside the house, and he doesn't have to do more than use a key on the lock he's happy."

"The key sends a signal to the system to go to standby," Sam said at their confused look.  "Small microchip in the lock.  They did it for us since Xander can't always remember the code to the security system."

"It's taped inside the back of the fridge," Dean told them.  They smirked at that.  "It's not the place you'd expect it to be."

"And none of the money's in there with the guns," Sam said.

Dean nodded.  "They've got their own safe.  Speaking of, go raid it, Sammy.  It's your turn to hold the wallet."  Sam went to do that.  Dean looked at them.  "It's a workable system until either we give in or he finds someone he likes."

Xander bounced out.  "You're not dressed!" he complained.

"Let me change.  Sammy, are you dressed?" he called as he walked that way.

Xander beamed at them.  "I know it's a paranoid system but the mailman tried to claim me the other day."

"Was that one of the two?" John asked.

"No.  And they don't know either."  He beamed.  "I'm bringing the porsche."

"No you're not," Sam said.  "You were weaving yesterday before you go poisoned by the neighbor."  He smiled.  "You can ride in the Impala with us or we can take the SUV."

"We can take the Impala," Dean said.  "His gets some dirty looks."  He came out dressed, looking Xander over.  "You're wearing underwear, right?"

"Of course," he sighed, rolling his eyes.

"You weren't the other night," Sam said with a mean grin.

"I was hoping to hit on someone."  He beamed back.  "Not like I can bend you over, Sam."  He bounced off again.  "C'mon, let's go!  Not you two," he told the dogs.  "We're going human places, not doggy and human places.  I'll bring you back a treat.  Yes I will," he cooed, petting them both.

"Go nap," Bobby ordered.  They ran back to claim the couch again.  They waited until they were in the truck and the boys had pulled away to look at each other. "Think they'll be able to make it?"

"I think Dean's already bored and so's Sammy.  I think Xander is too but he'll be finding hobbies and things sometime soon.  I also think we'll be hiring him a part-time guard for whenever he wants to go out but the boys aren't visiting."

"That's not a bad idea.  Off-duty officer?"

"Could.  That way he'd know who to call the next time Xander's taken.  The mailman?"

"He's backed up, John.  Even I wanted to cuddle the boy."  They followed the car out of the gate, watching it close behind them.  "That's a nice feature."

"Very.  Practical too.  Wonder if the security company monitors that too."

"Probably.  A motion detector starts taping most likely."  They drove downtown, finding the discreet looking spa.  It looked like an office building of some sort.  Had a small sign over the door.  They parked and walked in, nearly sneezing from the incense.  Xander was in high babble mode with the manager so they walked over to where the boys were waiting.  "You two need it too?" he asked quietly.

"We're fine," Sam said with a grin.  "Promise."

John watched Xander being led off, Dean following.  "Sammy, what do you think about hiring a part-time guard for when he wants out?  Someone like an off-duty officer?"

"I think it's a good idea.  Dean and I were talking about that the other night. They'd have to be pretty tolerant and have a lot of stamina to follow Xander on a shopping trip but it'd be a good addition to their paychecks and legal."  He shrugged.  "I have no idea how they'd set that up.  Dean was going to talk to the security company to see if they had a recommendation for it."  He heard an alarm and groaned.  "That's the back door I'm guessing."  They headed to check on Xander and Dean.  Both were gone.  Their clothes were there.  They followed, finding the guy trying to stuff an unconscious Dean into the back of the car.  Sam pulled his gun with a cough.  John pulled his.

Bobby looked at them.  "I'm your last hope of not being shot, son.  Give 'em back before they do.  You don't steal a man's sons. They're the deadly sort," he added when the guy didn't give them over.  Two officers drove into the lot with lights and sirens.  Both guns magically disappeared but the guy was going to be a miserable prick in prison.  "Hey.  Nice response time," Bobby praised.  He walked over to wake Xander up.  "Morning, sunshine."

"Again?" he whined.

"Yup.  Go back inside with Sammy, Xander."  He undarted Dean and woke him up.  "Hey.  Go back inside."

"Again?" he demanded.

"Yup.  Go inside.  Xander's in there."  Dean moaned but went inside.  John walked him so he looked at the officer.  "Bobby Singer, friend of the Winchester Clan."

"The boys all right?" one of the officers asked.

"They should be fine.  John had medic training in the Corps.  He'll make sure of it."  That got a smile and a nod.  "We were talkin' earlier.  When the boys have got to get back to work, is there a local bodyguard company or a way to hire off-duties?"

"I'd never go on that assignment," one said honestly.  "This is the third time we've rescued Mr. Harris since he got into town, Mr. Singer.  He's a nice guy.  Sometimes he even tries to let the guys go because he figures they reacted because he's backed up.  But I've seen the boy bounce around shopping before.  I don't have that much energy."

"I can understand that."

"Some of the guys might not mind now and then," the other one said.  "You'd have to ask for one each time.   What about a fancier bodyguard?  Like the stars get?"

"A bit intrusive and we're not sure if the boy would go for it.  They'd have to be prior military to meet John's specs."

"Ask around out there.  They're used to strange stuff and I'm sure there's more members out in LA."

"About twelve."

"LA's bigger'n here," the second officer said.  "Here, we have five with the two Winchester boys, and they drive us nuts."

He grinned.  "Boys did that to me before they broke out." They smirked and took their kidnaper off.  He went inside.  "Xander can ask on the days he wants out to see if there's an off-duty or they suggested he hire a guard like the stars get."

"I'll ask Paul and Soshar if there's a group they like," John decided. "They can put up an apartment above the garage or something for him."  He went to talk to Sam.  If he agreed, he could talk Xander into it.  Bobby stopped him before he got more than a few steps.  "What?"

"They know about the boys."

"How?"

"It's not just Xander.  They said they have five in town with those two of yours."

John let out a quiet groan.  "Good to know.  Yeah, that's sounding like a good idea."  He went to talk to Sam.  Dean was sulking in the main area.   "You good, Dean-o?"

"I'm fine.  My head sucks ass but I'm good."  He looked at him.  "Off-duties?"

"You'd drive them nuts," Bobby said.  "Plus he'd bounce off on 'em."

"So a guard," Sam said.  He looked at Dean.  "We can build them a nice place on the property."

"Shouldn't be too hard," Dean said, thinking about it.  "Military or officer trained."  They all nodded.  "If he buys that back lot it'd be easier.  We could put it out by the trees."

"I think he already did.  He told Steve to look into it since he thinks it's a security risk.  It's an empty lot and that's the weaker fence."  That got a nod from everyone.  "We need to check with Steve."  They looked at the older guys.  "We tried to keep it undercover."

"I know," John said.  "You guys can't control it any more than Xander can sometimes."  They nodded at that.  He stared at his boys.  "Take the rest of this month off.  Then go see Ellen."  They nodded at that wisdom.  "We might have a good hunt then."  He patted them both on the head.  "Dean, you good to drive?"

"I'll be fine in a few minutes," he reminded him.  "Should we get one called in?"

"It does him good to get out of the house," Bobby said.  "The same as the obedience classes do him good."  They nodded.  "We'll figure it out."  They heard Xander yelp but then he went quiet and they smiled.  That hadn't been an unhappy yelp.  That had been a someone poked me yelp.  Xander came wobbling out about an hour later, yawning and content.  "You good?"

"I'm good."  He smiled.  "Books and DVD's?"

"Sure," John agreed.  Dean got in to drive.  Xander got into the back.  Sam got in beside Dean, like usual.  He saw Xander do something and something came floating off the car.  John looked and called it in.  Dean didn't start the car but he did turn on the radio while he got out to check his baby over.  Someone was going to die for putting a bomb on the Impala.  Even if Xander had to do it himself.

***

A few days of moping later, John decided he'd had enough.  Cupid was right.  They did suit each other.  It bothered him but he'd get over it if only his sons would quit pouting at him.  "Boys, I'm going to be blunt.  Go in there, bend over, and take one for the good of all three of your backed up asses."  His boys stared at him, mouths slightly open.  "I mean it.  Tonight."

"Don't make them," Xander said as he came in.  "If they want to, they're big boys and can come to me."  He swatted John on the arm.  "If you force it, it'll be bad."  He went to get something out of the fridge.  "Am I cooking later on?"

"No, it's already ready," Sam told him.  "Just needs baked, Xander."  Xander beamed.  "You did it earlier."

"I need to quit doing that."  He wandered off again to read in the sun out back.

Dean looked at Sam.  "Go make him get off."

"Why?"

"Because you're the one who shouts his name at night," Dean said bluntly.

Sam nodded.  He went to talk to Xander about that idea.  "Hey."  Xander looked at him.  "I know Dad's pushy now and then when he shouldn't be."  Xander nodded, letting him sit next to him.  "But I think there's a reason for that this time."

"Cupid's idea?"

"I think Cupid saw that you'd fit pretty well with us.  You put up with Dean when he's playing pranks.  You put up with me when I want to study.  You know how to hunt.  We work well together.  You're hotter than hell most of the time."  Xander blushed.  "You are."  The blush got brighter.  "I can see it happening.  I have some nights," he admitted, blushing himself some.

"Would three GHS in a relationship work?"

"Yeah.  We'd get fully worn out by your needs and between us we could wear you down to a good level I think."  He stroked his cheek.  "You missed a spot shaving."  Xander grinned.  "Besides, who else would put up with Dad as a father-in-law?"  Xander laughed.  "So if you want it, I'm here for that."

Xander kissed him and Sam kissed back.  "It's going to be a long life, Sam.  I'm clingy."

"That's what vacations are for, Xander.  Hunting and not."  He kissed him again.  Xander moaned so Sam moved the book out of the way.  They stretched out in the lounger, keeping it at kissing for now.  Slow, unhurried, tasting each other, kissing.  Sam tried to run his hand into Xander's hair but was stopped by the braid.  He growled lightly, pulling back to look at it.  "Leave it loose, Xander."  He undid it all, even taking out the weapons.  Two were put into his pants pockets just in case something happened but they could deal with that.  It meant he could run his fingers through the rough, silky hair and gently tease it with small yanks and massage his scalp.  Xander moaned at the massage so he did more, keeping it there until Xander's body was begging him to move on.  It was subtle but Xander was arching into his body.  He pulled back to stare at him.  "I am not sexing you up out here and your first time will not be with everyone watching," he said quietly, staring into the brown eyes.  Xander smiled and pulled him back down to kiss him.  "Bed," he ordered a minute later.

Xander stood up.  "Tub?"

"Tub's nice and a good start but not going to finish you in there either," he teased.  Xander beamed, dragging him into the GHS bathroom.  Sam took him back to his regular one.  "It's still comfortable.  This way it's me that's special, not the tub."  He set the tub to fill and kissed him, then checked the water.  "Crap.  Hot water?"

"Hmm."  He fiddled then stomped out and down to the basement.

"What's wrong?" Bobby called.

"No hot water."

"That sucks when you're doing the girly bath thing," John said quietly.  He went to find the hot water heater, finding it unlit.  He lit it and sent the boy back upstairs.  "Give it twenty minutes then try again."  Xander hugged him and ran up the stairs.  He came back up.  "It didn't automatically relight when the electric came back on."  Dean snapped his fingers and went to put the generator back on standby.  He came back.  "You okay with this?"

"I'm fine with this.  Why wouldn't I be?"

"We saw how you watched Xander's hair as he jogged off," Bobby said, going back to petting the puppy.

Dean grimaced.  "It's odd to see it down."  He went to listen.  Some giggling but nothing too telling.   He walked back to the kitchen shaking his head.  "Sammy's indulging in girl moments.  They're in the bathroom."

"I remember doing that afterward," John admitted, thinking back.

"It's his first time bottoming," Bobby pointed out.  "That'll ease that ache some if Sammy does it right."

Dean looked at them.  Then he walked off shaking his head again.  His bedroom was against the bathroom wall.  He could hear the giggling going on quite well.  He wasn't sure Sammy knew how to do guy stuff sometimes.  He really wasn't.  He heard the tub be restarted a few minutes later.  Apparently it was good enough for now.  A few splashes and a laugh after one.  Then more kissing sounds. The kissing sounds kept going even when the tub got turned off.  Then splashing and cuddling noises.  A few milder splashes.  Dean could only imagine Sammy was *cuddling* or something equally girly with Xander.  Xander moaned and he smirked.

"Okay, some sex in the tub is nice," he said quietly.  He picked up a book to get back to the story.  He smelled the pheromones going up.  He didn't think it was possible but apparently they were both venting.  He groaned, shaking his head.  He would not do himself while those two were playing.  He heard the groan of disappointment.  "Too early, bitch," he muttered.  Xander was making begging noises and he was sure Sam was making up for being a premature ejaculator or whatever had happened.  The hormones spiked higher and he had to groan.  He heard his father and Bobby take the dogs out back to get away from it but the door didn't shut.  Airing it out could help.  It kept getting worse.

"C'mon, Sammy, before he enslaves the city," he muttered.  It snapped but didn't go down too much.  More mild splashing noises then more kissing and cuddling noises. He looked up, praying for patience from any God that might listen.  Then he got up and went to butt in.  Someone had to.  He leaned into the bathroom.  "Dad and Bobby had to flee the house from the pheromone stink, guys.  Do you need me to raid the toybox for you?  Need the How To book?  Before I get set off and have to go jump Dad or something?"

"Sorry, I ran out of steam and came since his body's so wicked," Sam said.

"Sammy, as much as I like the both of you, the pheromone stink is getting too high."  He left, going outside.  The fresh air helped some.  John looked over at him.  "It came down to cuddling."

"Is it solved?" Bobby asked.  Dean shook his head.  "Crap.  Even the dogs were getting friendly."  He moved toward the house and groaned, backing up.  "It's affecting me out here."

"Adam said he might be able to enslave a block or so," Dean said.  He walked back in there.  "Guys, you're affecting Bobby and the dogs in the back yard.  Please?" he begged.

"I'm working on it," Sammy defended.  "Go away!  You keep breaking the mood, Dean."

"Fine."  He left, going back outside.  "Sammy's trying."  The surge came back and even John groaned that time.  Dean slumped, looking inside.

"Son, go help," John ordered.  "Before I end up doing it."

Dean felt it snap and it was still high.  He got up and slipped back that way, listening at the door.  Xander was begging.  He shook his head, walking in taking off his shirt.  "Xander, do we need help?"

"Please," he said, looking miserable. "I tried."

"I know.  Regular times can take cuddling.  You're fully backed up so you need more than cuddling."  Sam  nodded, still panting.  "C'mon.  Sammy, get that ready for him afterward.  He's going to be limp and tired."  He walked Xander out to his bed, then pushed him onto it, stripping down.  Xander stared.  "You've seen it before."

"Before I was trying hard not to look."  He reached out and Dean moved closer, letting Xander undo his jeans for him.  Xander moved to please him but he pulled his head back, staring down at him.  "Set the limits, Xander."

Xander swallowed.  "I don't know about that part, Dean."

"It'll help."

"I've....  Only a finger or a really tiny toy."

Dean nodded.  "Want it to be Sammy?"

Sam came out of the bathroom, kissing Xander.  "Let him, Xander.  It'll be good and I'm fine with it if you are."  Xander nodded at that, taking another kiss.  "I'm going to make the bathroom look wonderful for you."  He looked at Dean, who nodded.  Sam knew why, neither one could sex up someone with the other in the room.  He got what he needed and retreated to the bathroom to make it look better for their boy.

Dean looked down at Xander, playing with his hair.  "Up to you."

Xander leaned forward to lick the sweat off his stomach.  "If it happens."

"That's my boy."  He pushed him back and finished stripping.  "You're not a concubine there to please me, Xander.  It's supposed to be mutual."  He climbed into the bed and put his experience to work.  Teasing kisses and touches, letting Xander set the pace.  Xander was nearly frantic by then so he slowed him down.  Just a little bit of playing.  It made him surge again but it was going back down slowly.  He shifted closer, letting them rub against each other.  "This as far as you got?" he asked quietly.  Xander nodded, arching up farther.  "Shh, Xander.  Let me handle it."  He got him backed down and played with him for a bit.  A slow stroke of a palm over a cock.  A fleeting touch.  A lick over the pulse point in his neck.  Xander shivered at that so he did it again and moved down to slowly taste him.  Xander whined and arched up.  "Slower, Xander.  Draw it out.  It's better.  If I take you hard and fast, you won't be sitting later."  Xander flipped him over to tease him.  "Sure, you can have a turn."  He let Xander explore, please him, and make him feel wonderful.  When he got to his cock Dean turned them back over so he could get back to work.  Xander was making slight whining noises so he played with his cock for a while.  Then he stopped and stared at him.  "Things?"

"Things?"

"Slick things?" he prompted.  Xander moaned. "Where?"  Xander pointed.  He found the toy drawer and there was indeed a lot of tubes.  He held up one.  "Have we tried these?"  He shook his head.  "Hmm, waiting?"  Xander nodded frantically.  Dean put them back.  The drawer got shut.  Dean moved to play with his cock again and prepare him at the same time.  Xander was straining to get him deeper.  "You need stretched first," he ordered.  Xander went limp, giving him a pitiful look.  "Xander."  Xander pounced and Dean stopped him from trying to climb on top.  "Not yet.  You're not open enough yet. It'll hurt more.  It might even rip you."  He let the boy do it himself this time.  It was a very erotic sight, watching Xander finger himself.  "Switch up to two."  Xander did but he grimaced.  "Awkward angle?"  He did it for him and Xander was more than happy to flex around them.  It was definitely going to be greedy.  "Want on top this time?"  Xander shrugged. "Up to you."

Xander leaned down to kiss him.  "Please?"  Dean held his hips steady and Xander let himself sink down while Dean held his own cock still for him.  Xander moaned all the way down, taking it in one thrust.  "Dean."

"Still me," he agreed.  "Ride me, Xander."  Xander moved slowly but he was liking this.  He got faster, then Dean flipped them over, putting him onto his knees to get more control.  He slid back in but he did it slower this time.  Xander was flexing around him.  Dean smirked and broke his concentration by slamming in.  Xander yelped in pleasure.  He slowed down again, mixing it up so sometimes it was hard and fast and sometimes it was what Sammy would give him some day soon.  Xander was back to making begging noises at him so he slowly built speed, going harder and faster.  Xander was holding onto his headboard with both hands.  Dean took them off and put them on the mattress, holding them with his.  He leaned down to nibble on Xander's neck.  "Ready?"  Xander nodded. "Then go over, Xander.  Whenever you're ready.  Show me," he panted in his ear.

Xander came a few thrusts later and screamed in pleasure.

Dean followed with a quieter grunt.  He kept himself from falling on top of the heaving back, pulling Xander onto his side.  Xander was trying hard to catch his breath.  "What's wrong?"

"Good," he panted.  "So good."

Dean smirked.  "Of course I am."  Xander reached back to pinch him.  He slowly pulled back, wincing at the mess on him.  "We need to get some condoms."

"Non-latex," he mumbled into a pillow.  "'llergic."

"Sure, I can get the non-latex version," he soothed.  "Want the bath Sammy's been working on?"  Xander nodded, letting Dean get him up so he could wobble in there. Dean followed, taking the washcloth to clean himself up with.  Sam helped Xander into the bathtub, watching him hiss as the warm water hit his hole.  "We know he has a latex allergy?" he asked quietly.

Sam nodded.  "I know."   He grinned.  "Thanks, Dean."

"Welcome.  See if he wants more later.  He's sleepy but not fully down."  He went back to his own room to shower and change.  Then he went outside with a beer from the fridge.  "He and Sammy are doing the bath thing."  He opened it before sitting down and taking a drink.

Bobby looked at him.  "You okay?"  Dean nodded.  "Why aren't you with him?"

"Because I'm not the soft and gentle sort, Bobby.  Sammy does that and made it a special bath for them."

"Oh."  He nodded, sipping his own beer.  "He down now?"  Dean nodded, looking smug.  "Good.  Because he's noisy."

"Yeah but it was good."  He took another drink, looking at his blushing father.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine," he said, clearing his throat.  "Xander napping?"

"Sammy's probably playing body slave by washing him and all that stuff.  He had candles and incense, some fruit to nibble on, some juice.  So I'm sure they're having fun or cuddling.  Something like that."

"Lovers like those who cuddle," John warned.

Dean looked at him.  "Xander and Sammy wanted to do the cuddlesome stuff, Dad.  I'm letting them do what they wanted to do."

John rolled his eyes.  "Some day you'll figure out that it's nice to hold someone and not have to get out of bed before they wake up."

"I already know that.  Xander still wanted to do that stuff with Sammy."

"Fine."  He shook his head, taking another drink of his beer.  Dean disappeared.  He listened to the house.  "I think they're gone again," he said.  He and Bobby went to check Xander's bedroom.  They opened a window to air out the pheromones.  John thought about stripping the sheets but he didn't want to touch...that from his sons.  Yup, they were gone but all the stuff Sammy had brought into the bathroom was gone too.  They checked the time.  They'd start calling around if they weren't back within an hour.  They'd give the boys time to rescue themselves first.

Two hours later the three boys reappeared in one chair.  Xander was clinging to them.  "We're home," Sam whispered.  Xander looked around then at John and Bobby.  "How long were we gone?"

John looked at his watch.  "Just over two hours."  He looked at them.  "You guys need medical attention?"

Dean shook his head.  "We're good."  He stroked down Xander's side, making him look at him.  "That means I didn't get around to changing the bed probably."  Xander grimaced but snuggled in again. "Sure, you do that."  He looked at Bobby.  "The demon didn't want to touch us this time."

"His kind have a corrosive touch to humans," Sam reminded him.  "Even us."  He looked at the two older guys.  "We're fine.  They wanted us to get into role so they could watch Dean play harem slave."

"There's a time for it but unless it's because I just knocked one of you two up, I doubt it's happening again anytime soon," Dean shot back.

"Thank God I know that can't happen," John said.

Xander looked at him.  "Eris offered."  All the men shuddered.  "She did."

"She would, it would cause a lot of chaos," Sam told him.

"But it'd be a super hunter," Dean teased.

"Or some free peace hippie who hates chocolate and beef," Sam teased.

"Either way, it had better not happen," John ordered.

"Yes, dad," all three sighed.  Bobby laughed at the look on John's face.

Xander grinned.  "You should've seen how Dean played harem boy.  He did nearly as good as I did."

"That's because the sucker pumped in stuff that sent us all into a surge the last time," Dean said, giving him a look.  Xander just grinned.  "I will spank you again."

"Only if you want to regrow that hand," Xander said.  They stared at each other.

Sam wiggled between them.  "My turn."  They shrugged and hugged him.  "Anyway, it was fun.  Kinda.  In a strange way that lasted for six centuries before we got free and killed all the demons on that plane."

Xander nodded.  "Yes we did.  I had fun doing that.  More fun than bathing someone."

"Hmm," Dean agreed, nodding.  He reached over to steal his father's beer to drink.  "I missed beer.  I hate wine."

"Wine can be nice, depending on the food it's paired with," Sam told him.

Dean looked at him.  "Too froo-froo for me, Sammy."

Sam shrugged.  "For nice nights out, it's good."

"Uh-huh.  Give me beer, wings, and strippers for those nights."

Xander pouted.  "I can strip but I'm not sure how good I'd be at it."

"Fat.  Chance," Bobby ordered.  "You might hormone the whole club and then we'd have to rescue you from the orgy."

"That happens whenever he dances," Dean said dryly.  John moaned and took his beer back to finish.  "Hey!"

"Not a thought I want, boys."

A demon appeared, sighing in displeasure.  "Boys."

Sam frowned at him.  "How did you get past the holy ground rules?"  The demon pulled his badge.  "And?"

"DPP," he said dryly.  "Demonic police."  They all groaned.  "What did you three do?"

"Took out the suckers that kidnaped us and kept our hormones too high to think," Dean told him.  "Not like you guys rescue us."

The officer looked at him then at the two older adults.  "Are they yours?"

"Kinda," John said.  "I adopted two and the third was given to us to protect.  He's like another son."

The officer stared at him then at Bobby.  "His wife?"

Bobby burst out laughing.  "Hell no.  Friend."

"Their keeper?"

"Nope.  They do it for each other."

The officer frowned.  "Then I need someone who can do paperwork to come note what happened, how it happened, why it happened, and then sign paperwork taking control of their realm since they're all dead."

"No," Xander said.  "I'll give a statement but I don't need a realm.  I have one of those; I gave it to Vesvold."

The officer burst out laughing.  "It doesn't matter if you want it or not, boys.  It's yours because you defeated all them.  To the victor goes the spoils."  Bobby and John both whimpered at that.  "So let's go do the paperwork."

"No," Xander said more firmly.  "I'm not taking the fucking realm.  Give it to a clan that needs to move to a bigger place or wants to split off a new group.  Not like I need and want it."

The demon stared.  "It doesn't work that way."

"If he doesn't want it, he shouldn't have to take it," Dean said.

"It still doesn't work that way."

"Then I'll lose it in a poker game to a drug dealer," Xander said dryly.

"You can't do that either, sir."

"Yes I can.  If it's mine I can do that."

"They helped, it's partially theirs."

"We don't care if he loses it in a poker game," Sam assured him with a grin.

"You know what?  You can argue that with the bosses and the High Council."  He took them with him.  He got the statements then took them to the High Council.  The one with the hair squealed and pounced a Councilor.  Who smirked and cuddled him, whispering in his ear.  Xander beamed and kissed him on the cheek.  "Sir, these three took out all the inhabitants on a realm and refuse to do the paperwork."

"You do know about those with the hormone problems?" Vesvold asked.  He nodded. "These three have it."

"I'm aware of that since the one you're holding is making me want to mate and my kind do it asexually."

"This one will probably never have the attention span to deal with a realm."

"I told him to give it to a clan that needed to expand or branch off one of their subgroups," Xander said.  "He didn't listen."

"By demonic law you can put it up for auction but not give it away that way, Xander."

"Oh."  He pouted.  "Do I have to, Vessie?"

Vesvold smiled, nuzzling his throat with his nose.  "You can put it up for auction, Xander."

"Fine I'll do that if Sam and Dean agree.  They can pay Steve, the financial guy who confuses me."

"They can do that," Vesvold agreed.  "Boys?"

"Fine with us," Dean said.  Sam nodded.  "We don't need a realm unless it's going to help us protect the three of us from demons or other immies."

"No, it probably won't," Vesvold admitted.  "We'll list it with the auction coming up, all right?"  They nodded the DPP officer took them after he got another Xander cuddle.  "That was the Xander I'm interested in.  He said he would not take me up on it because he did not want to endanger my life by opening the opportunity to someone who would want to kill me for having him."

The others just nodded at that.  It was a good point in the boy's favor.  It would raise his stakes quite a lot if they could get him to agree to a demonic owner.

They landed in the back yard and John stood up.  "It's going up to auction," the officer told him.  "They're fine.  The one with the hair cuddled one of the councilors."  He disappeared.  People like that annoyed him.

John looked at them.  "How are you splitting that?"  Sam shrugged.  "Where is the money going?"

"Steve," Dean said.  "We'll call him tomorrow, make sure he knows."  He patted Xander's back.  "You're starting to emote," he said quietly.  Xander blinked up at him.  "Go pounce Sammy."  Xander gave him a wicked grin and shifted enough to pounce Sam.  They got up and headed inside.  "He's broadcasting again."

"Six centuries?" Bobby asked.

Dean nodded.  "Time runs differently on each realm."

"Are you sure none of you need a medic, son?" John asked.

Dean grinned.  "We had the time to learn a lot.  He even managed to get all of Xander's memories back from the curse.  Hell, Sammy even managed to talk me into reading some pseudo-philosophical crap disguised as literature."

John shook his head quickly.  "Are you mentally stable?"

"Now that my hormones are back down, yeah, I'm good.  No more chocolate for a while but I'm good."  He walked off shaking his head.  Sammy was making Xander giggle so he leaned into their room.  "Guys, before we stink up the house again?"  Sam bit Xander on the chest, making him yelp but retaliate.  Sammy was flipped onto his back and Xander had him begging to ride him within minutes.  He shook his head.  That's when they all stiffened and stared outside.  Dean groaned, going to grab a sword and see who it was.  "You are?" he demanded.

"Here for your head, boy," he sneered.

"You do realize we have very nosy neighbors and this is holy ground?"

"Whatever.  Holy ground doesn't stop us from taking heads, just makes us not want to."

"Fine."  He waved him in and around the back of the house to where the holy ground barely stopped, just past the fancier bush line Xander and Sam had put down.  "It's a challenge," he said.

"Who're they?  You need spectators?" he sneered.  "Such a pathetic young man."

"First of all, it's my father and an honorary uncle.  They're visiting."

"Ah, a young one," he said smugly.

"Who spent two years at the Temple of Ares."  He waved him on.  "You want it, come take it.  No, Sammy, stay.  Mine this time."

"Fine, make Xander pout," he complained.

"You can cure that while I take his fucking head.  C'mon, bitch, or are you scared of me?"  The immie tried to lunge but Dean got under his guard and got his chest, then backswung before he could recover and got his head.  A second chop and it came off totally.  "I hate this part."  The quickening floated up and shot into him, making him yell in pain.  He landed on his knees, panting, holding onto his sword.  He felt another one coming and glared at the officer coming around the house.  "Why is it we've run into every other officer but you?"

"I felt you three and stayed away," he said with a smirk.  "You good?"

"Fine," he muttered, making himself stand up.  "He decided we were young and stupid.  Even though this is blessed ground."

"Charming."  He came over to look.  "Oh well.  I'll call someone to clean up the mess.  Our ME is my boyfriend."

"Thanks, man."

"Why can't I have him?" Xander called from inside.

"Because this one was my turn," Dean called back.  He looked at the officer, shaking his head.

"There's immortals in GHS?" he demanded.  Dean gave him a smug look and nodded.  "Oh, damn.  Talk about a curse.  Centuries like that."

Dean gave him the most smug look ever. "Exactly.  And Xander's still a level ten plus immortal."  The guy shuddered.  "Who is a berserker.  Who uses a very unique self defense style that's meant for GHS."

"I'm sorry for you guys."  He patted him on the arm.  "Let me call."  He called the ME.  "One of the new GHS boys is an immie.  Just took a head when they broke onto his lot."

"He tried to challenge me in the middle of the street even after I noted we had neighbors," Dean told him.

"Okay, so he's a stupid one and you brought him back here to protect the neighbors.  Still dumb of him."  He smiled.  "Please.  There, yes.  Yes, that came as a shock to me too."  He hung up.  "He's shuddering in horror too."

Dean shrugged.  "We're having a lot of fun.  Need a statement?"

"No.  Go for it.  I know how quickenings make your body react.  Got to be worse for you boys."

Dean smirked, walking inside.  "My turn, bitch.  Get off and give me Xander!"

"You can wait five more minutes, Dean," Sam complained.  Xander was blowing him.  "He any good?"

"Hell no.  Lasted three seconds."  He walked back out there.  "By the way, we were all trained at the Temple of Ares."  He grinned and walked off again, stripping off his shirt.

The officer looked at John.  "Didn't spank him enough?"

"There's days I wonder," he admitted.  "How often do these happen?"

"Some are head hunters.  Some of us could care less if you're around.  Who knows.  The ones that people look to as teachers and good guys take a lot more heads than the guys who try to keep their heads down and hide."

"Charming," Bobby said.  "And that ease?"

"Happens.  It's the game."  He gave him a look.  "In the end, there'll be one."  Both of them shuddered.  "How do you guys stand to hunt demons and things that kill multiple people?"

"Because if we don't, more people die," John told him.

"And some of ours are that way too, Winchester.  They're the ones who go out hunting heads.  Them or us."

John nodded.  "I understand that."  The ME came around the house.  "Um, his head's a few inches away, under the bush."

"That's fine."  He knelt to look it over.  "Good, sharp blade."  In the house someone screamed in pleasure.  "Post quickening need.  Looks standard to me."  He got the body bagged and they carried it off together.  He knew who to call.  He'd tell him later which one had done it.

A neighbor came over when the officer backed out of the driveway.  "Was it his former lover's people?  We all think they're mobbed up or something."

"No, ma'am.  It was an intruder who wanted to hurt the trio of young men.  Fortunately they can protect themselves."  She pouted.  "Not related to their past at all."  She nodded, letting him drive off.  Mobbed up?  He'd have to get that story out of someone.  The boss should know and he knew about immortals running around.  He had caught him taking a challenge years ago.  His boss filled him in on the cover story for the GHS and immortal stuff.  It was a good one and made him giggle when he told him about the neighbor's ideas on the supposed past boyfriend.  That got a moan and a nod.  They'd make note of that.  Maybe they could even get Xander to play some poker with the thugs in town again so they could bust them.

Bobby smirked at John.  "They'll be a strong clan of boys for centuries."

He finished his new beer.  "Long live the Winchester clan since they won't have kids," he said dryly.  "Well, unless Discord helps."  He thought about saying something else but what else could you say about three immortal, GHS sluts who loved weapons and demon hunting?

A Colonel's GHS Dilemma

John looked at his sons then at Xander, who was sulking in the corner of the kitchen bench area.  "It'll be fine, Xander.  We'll be back in a while.  The boys have to go out and do a few things first.  They promised to visit some people and take care of a few things."

"Who's going to let me out of the house?" Xander asked.  "You won't even let me check the mail without someone watching."

"We're arranging for a retired military person to come stay with you and be your bodyguard," John said.  "I have a friend who has a friend who knows a colonel who just retired from a secret project that it's said has some strange stuff."  Xander scowled.  "I had them check; he had nothing to do with that Initiative crap you guys had.  NID hates him almost as much as it does your merry little band out there."

"I'm not going back."

"No, you're not," Dean agreed.  "If they show up, let the bodyguard shoot 'em."  He took a kiss.  "Behave for him?"

"I always try.  It's not like I plan on those sort of things to happen."

"I know."  He patted him on the head.  "We arranged with Steve to pay him directly so you don't have to worry about it."

Xander nodded.  "I guess that'll be fine.  Will he let me shop?"

"He's there to guard you and to make sure you're not taken while you shop," John pointed out.  "If he won't let you shop now and then, you can pout at him."

Xander nodded.  "I guess."

"Good boy, thank you," John said.  Xander barked, getting a bark back from their dog, Bogart.  John moaned, walking off shaking his head.

"Good one," Dean said, smirking at him.  "What're you going to do while we're gone?"

"Go buy CD's?" he guessed.

"That could help too.  Remember, Sammy's on the computer at least once a day."  He took another kiss.  "Behave.  We'll see you in a month."  He left.  Sammy came in to be mushy or whatever while he warmed up the car.  The military guy was definitely going to be in for a hell of a surprise.  They had talked with him late last night.  He had agreed.  He had no idea what he was in for but he had agreed.  John called to let him know they were going.  Then he followed the boys out.

Xander sat and watched, cuddling the dog.  "It'll be all right, Bogart.  I promise it will be.  If he's mean I'll turn him into a willing love slave or something so he takes me shopping whenever I want."  He saw a jeep pull up and looked.  "Look, it's Colonel GI Joe, from the Air Force so I guess that makes him one of the pilots."  He walked out there, the dog trotting along.  "You're the guy John said would protect me?"

"I am.  Colonel Jack O'Neill," he said, shaking his hand.  He let the dog sniff him, getting a bark back.  "Nice to meet you too, pooch."

"He's Bogart."

"After Humphrey?"

"Not always; sometimes it's because he's a hog and tries to bogart your food on you."

Jack nodded.  "That'll be a good reason too.  Let me get my bags."

"I'm not that helpless."  He carried one in, putting it in the new guest room over top of the main garage.  "You have kitchen rights and you have your own small one up here.  I'm learning how to cook so you can come snatch food too."  He looked at him.  "I'm not that hard to guard but things happen around me and I keep getting taken."

"I heard.  Sam told me a lot last night."  And hadn't that been an interesting talk?  He had wanted to test a friend of his after hearing about how much trouble Xander got into.

"Good."  He grinned.  "The martial arts guy comes in on Tuesday and Friday afternoon.  I think it's Thursday."  He checked his watch and nodded.  "It's Wednesday so we have a few days."  He looked at him again.  "I promised to go buy some CD's while they were gone.  Dean likes hard rock and heavy metal, specifically eighties and earlier.  Sam likes a lot wider range and I'm not that picky."

"I can plan a shopping trip," he promised.  "Any other usual appointments?"

"Spa three times a week to help with my backlog and obedience class for Bogart on Saturday mornings.  He's learning how to be a scent dog too."

"That's wonderful."  He smiled.  "It'll work out fine, kid."

"Do you have any kids?"

"I did for a while."  Xander gave him a hug, making him stiffen then slowly relax.  "I'm not used to being hugged but thanks."

Xander grinned.  "I'm tactilly deprived so get used to it.  Dean even pets me now and then."  He bounced off.  "I'm going to look at the kitchen stuff.  See what I'm making for dinner or if I forgot and already did."

"Gimme ten and I'll be there, kid."  He watched him bounce, shaking his head quickly when he was out of sight.  He got unpacked and followed, finding the kid and dog staring into the freezer, both had their heads tipped to the side.  Xander finally pulled out a sealed glass pan with stuff and put it on top of the oven then he opened the fridge and pulled out stuff for a salad too.  Jack washed his hands and dove in to help, getting a grin.  "So, anything else I should know about?"

"What did they tell you?"

"About your hormones and how they can overrun your mind so you're confused now and then.  How it leads to you being snatched.  How you're bouncy and happy when you're backed up but you can protect yourself somewhat."

"I can.  Mostly I need someone to watch my back so I'm not stolen while shopping.  They keep wanting to yank on my hair."

Jack smiled because that had clearly been a joke.  "I'm sure hair yankers suck for you."  Xander grinned and nodded. "They said you can use a sword?"

"I learned a fairly unique style of sword work and self defense when I was younger the second time."  He looked at him.  "Did they tell you how I hooked up with them?"

"No," Jack admitted.

"Hmm.  Did they tell you anything about my past?"

"What you did on your road trip to find yourself.  I asked how you afforded the house."

"The demons were very good to me," he agreed with a slight smile. "I had four mil in ready cash when I got cursed."

"Cursed?"

"One of the other workers got jealous so he cursed me by deaging me to six.  But my hormones were still out in full force and the demons still wanted me, plus about every human in existence as well since I was so cute back then."  He grinned.  "I got sent to the Winchesters to protect me from them."

"I did some checking before I agreed to meet with them.  I know what they do and when I heard your name I checked on you too.  Did you know  you have a sealed federal file?"

"Probably says to leave me alone.  Hopefully it says to leave me alone."

"It does."  Xander gave him a look.  "Yes, I have a very high security clearance thanks to the last job."

"That's cool.  If I wanted to call some contacts I could probably do a pretty thorough background on you too."  He grinned.  Jack moaned.  "Are other places nice?"

"They are.  Who told you?"

"The demon underground doesn't know much about you.  Just that you realmal hop or whatever."

"Not quite correct," he offered.  "But still classified."

Xander shrugged.  "That means you won't be creeped out if you have to rescue me from a demon plane.  I consider that a benefit."

Jack smiled.  "It can be.  Beyond a sword what can you use, Xander?"

"I'm pretty proficient in guns.  John upped what skills I had from a prior possession while I regrew up.  Thanks to some traveling to train me I did it faster this time because I think I drove John nuts when I was younger.  It's really hard for a six-year-old to play enough to wear out the happiness hormones."

"I guess it can be."  He handed over his portion of the salad, getting a grin for it.  "Do we have guns around here?"

"In the armory.  Along with a few other swords and stuff.  Dean and I usually sit down to clean them together about once a week."

"That's not a bad thing.  Your weapon can save your life," Jack said.  Xander nodded, turning on the oven.  "This is a really nice kitchen."

"It was mostly already here.  All I did so far was change the cushions at the table."  He grinned.  "It was in move-in condition when I bought it thankfully."

"That's always a good thing," he agreed.  Someone knocked on the door but he held Xander back.  "That's my job, kid."  He went to answer it.  "Yes, officer?"

"Who're you?"

"The Winchesters hired Jack to guard me while they're off playing Winchester family games," Xander said with a grin.  The cop smiled back.  "What's up?"

"No one's seen you in a few days so I'm doing a wellness check.  You haven't picked up your orders and the shopkeepers are a bit worried."

"If I was less backed up I'd go today.  Let me try to take care of it and I'll go down tomorrow?"

"That's fine, Mr. Harris.  I was mostly sent to check that we hadn't missed a kidnaping."  He looked at Jack.  "The last one we got at the airport with federal agents because someone was trying to steal him to the Middle East."

"I'm not that sort of wife and I don't want to be castrated," Xander said with a pout.  "But they drugged me so I could only slur complaints."

Jack nodded.  "We can make sure they don't come near you again."

"Those ones are still in federal custody," the officer said dryly.  He sniffed.  "What is that stink?"

Xander pointed cattycorner across the street.  "The new drug dealers who just moved in."  The officer gave him a look.  "I'm not profiling because they're Central American from somewhere near the bottom of that strip according to the gossip I heard.  I saw them sitting outside smoking weed and one of them doing some coke on the lawn."

"Did you report it?"

"I called Vice and talked to a Detective Percher.  I think that was his name."

"I've never worked with him but I'll check on it, Mr. Harris."

Xander grinned.  "Please.  They're noisy and I hate drugs."

"Good."  He smiled.  "Any other good news?"

"They'll be back in a month but Jack thinks he can protect me."

"We hope so.  Another hunter, sir?"

"Colonel in the Air Force.  I commanded a field unit for special situations."

"That's a good qualification."  He looked behind him when the footpath gate opened.  "Crap."

Xander growled.  "Not making me happy."  He went to look at the piece of paper taped onto the back of the fridge.  Jack came to see what he was doing.  "What's the last number?"

"Oh-eight."  Xander punched that in then redid it with just 8 and it went in.  The door hissed open and Xander walked in, looking at stuff.  He grabbed one of the new handguns, looking it over.  He slapped in the prefilled clip and walked out, checking to see if the safety was off.  Jack gave him an odd look.  That was his sort of move, not a pleasured being sort of move.

The cop shuddered.  "Mr. Harris," he said quietly.

"Hush."  He looked at his new neighbor, the gun behind him.  "Yes?  Can I help you?"

"We wanted to know if you wanted to come party with us.  You're about the only young guy in the neighborhood and we have some hip things going on."

"Um, no thanks.   I wouldn't want to give any of the things that want to kidnap me a second chance."  The guy blinked at him.  He grinned.  "Also, I saw you guys smoking weed and I hate drugs."

He laughed.  "Really?"

"Really," Xander said, pointing the gun at him.  "I loathe drugs.  Especially here, where you're now endangering my safety."

"You won't shoot me," he sneered.

Xander blew one between his feet then pointed it at him, giving him a cold look.  He switched to spanish since the guy probably at least understood it.  "I am the demon hunter Alexander Harris from Bocca del Inferno."  The man backed up, crossing himself while muttering a prayer.  "I have taken out bigger, badder, and more smelly things than you are.  I planned the battle that won for us at graduation."  He cocked the gun again.  "Now, get out of my yard and do not use drugs in the open again.  There are children in the neighborhood," he finished in english.

The man backed up another step.  "I heard of you.  You raped that Buffy chick."

"I was in New York at the time.  Buffy told me not to come home then got drunk in a frat house and ended up dogpiling.  It wasn't me.  She blamed me because she's a bitch."

The guy swallowed, muttering another prayer.  "Live and let live, dude.  I promise."  He turned and ran.

"That's going to get messy," the officer said, calling his boss.  "Sargent, we just had Mr. Harris scaring off the drug dealers who moved into his neighborhood.  He said he reported it to Vice, a Detective Percher.  He said he caught them using drugs on the front lawn.  One just showed up and he pulled a gun on the stupid dealer.  Please, could, yes."  He hung up.  "Give it to your backup protector please, Mr. Harris?"

"I'm perfectly capable of using it," he said with a pout.

"I know but I'd rather you stuck to a sword.  Less chance of you being distracted and hurting someone accidentally."

Xander shrugged. "I know."  He handed it over, trying to get his usual one out of his hair.  "That sucks.  It's tangled."  He yanked and winced but it was still knotted in.  "I need someone to help me brush this mess more often."  He went to get another one, picking up another katana.  He came out to find another of them coming over across the street.  He called the neighbor he knew best.  "Tell the kids I can hear up the street to get inside please?  Because the new guys who moved into the blue and white house are drug dealers; there's cops coming plus one just threatened me."  He hung up and walked out there.  "Hi.  Did you need something?"

"You're an arrogant little boy."

"Well yeah, but if you don't leave my neighborhood I'll be the arrogant little boy who's going to destroy you.  And then cackle pleasingly.  I'd say you've got about ten minutes to leave."

"We will not."  He rushed and Xander did one of his better dance moves, getting him with the sword against the throat when the guy tried to duck.  He swallowed.  "A sword, in this day and age?"

"I look hot with it," he said with an evil smirk.

"Mandy!" a mother shouted.   "Get down here, come play with my kids today!"

"Jack, make sure the kids are off the street?" Xander called.

"On it."  He walked that girl down there.  "Drug dealers," he told the woman, getting a shudder.  "Cops are coming."

"We'll be in the back of the house."  She walked the girl inside.

Jack came back up.  "Xander, let the nice officer arrest him."

"He came to threaten me," Xander said, shooting a glare at him.  The guy moved and Xander moved the second gun he had gotten when he had went to get the sword, pointing it at him.  "Yes, I brought both because I look just as hot with any weapon."  More of his guys piled out of the house.

A demon appeared behind Xander.  "Finally, you are off protected ground," it said, moving closer.  Xander turned and gutted it then cut up its chest, making it fall to the ground screaming.

Xander looked at the dealer again.  "Eight minutes.  I'd be packing, baby."

"Of course I am."  He pulled his own gun.  Xander waved his.  "You will not get us to move.  You're one too-pretty little boy with delusions.  That's why you need guarded."

"No, I need guarded because there's some higher powered men and women who want to own me.  Pity you'll never be one.  Six minutes."

"We're not leaving."  He moved to hit Xander with the gun.

He ducked and got him in the knee with the sword, making him scream as he fell to the ground.  "How fucking pathetic.  You can't even do as good as the demons do.  Pitiful fucking dealer."  He clicked his tongue a few times in a 'what a shame' noise.  "Your saints must be very proud of you right now."  He leaned down.  "You don't mess with the hunters, dear.  We get mean.  Even if we are backed up so far I can enslave this whole neighborhood at the moment."  He stood up then kicked him in the side.  "I loathe drugs."  He looked at the others.  "Get out of my neighborhood.  It was very nice until you moved here."  They ran back inside because they heard the sirens.  "Sounds like time's up."  Cop cars screeched to a halt around them. "This one doesn't even want to be a hair yanker, guys."

"Xander, can I have the sword?" the officer asked.  "It looks like it's got a fault in the blade."

"I know.  I'll sharpen that out later if I can."  He handed it over.  "It's my practice blade.  My usual one's still stuck in my hair."  Jack came over to look, unwinding a few strands.  They still ended up letting it fall through the mass and catching it then Xander had to fix the shrinking spell by reshrinking it then undoing it twice.  It came up in all its beauty.  "Like it?  I got given it at the Temple of Ares, where I trained," he sneered at the guy on the ground.  He moaned out a prayer to save him.  "Won't help you any."  He looked at the officers.  "They ran inside when I told them to go away because I caught them smoking weed and the one watching in the sunglasses openly doing coke on the front lawn when I went to get my mail yesterday.  I talked to a Detective Percher in Vice about them but he hasn't done anything yet."

"It takes time, kid.  I told my boss and we were going to set up surveillance but we couldn't get the closer neighbor to let us use a corner of her lot."

"You get your own mail?" one asked.

"Yes, even I have to get my own mail sometimes," he said dryly, cracking up a few cops.  "They came over today to want me to join their reindeer games.  I guess they figured I afford the house the same way they did or something."

"How backed up are you?" the head officer asked.

"A whole lot.  It's been *days* because I pulled my back."

"Can you... hormone the house so they can't shoot at us?" he suggested.

Xander considered it, looking at Jack.  "I'd consider that an ethical use," he said.  "It'll save these guys being shot at."  Everyone glanced at him.  "Colonel Jack O'Neill, retired Air Force.  The Winchesters had to do something out of town for a month so I'm his bodyguard."

"Ah," the guy in charge said.  "Pilot?"

"That too.  I also led a special team."

"Even better."  He looked at Xander.  "Think you can?"

"I'd have to get closer."  He walked over to their gate, concentrating.  Then he let it loose as he walked inside their gate.  The guys started to wobble.  "Fall down to your knees and beg me, bitches," he muttered.  They all moaned and some did go to their knees.  He walked into the house to make sure he got the rest.  He found the nastiest smelling plants out back.  "Hey, guys, I'm sure these plants don't make neighborhood rules.  They're ugly and they stink."  He looked at them.  "It might not have reached the top floor."

"We can handle that risk," he promised.  He looked at the plants.  "Coca plants."

"That makes chocolate?"

"No, that's cacao plants, Mr. Harris.  These make cocaine."

"Eww.  Nasty shit," he muttered, walking back to where Jack was waiting.  "I'm a good boy."

"You mostly are," he agreed.  He smiled.  "Bit less backed up?"

"A whole lot so we can go pick up those orders, right?"

"We can.  Go check on dinner?"  Xander ran over to check on the stuff he had in the oven.  The cops smiled at him.  "How many of them are there in the world?"

"That's an extra special one because of his level and his past," the officer the Winchesters usually dealt with told him.  "We knew he had a violence suppression switch.  It came out a few times when he had to save himself.  He'll go back to the purring lap kitty he usually is later."

"That's fine," Jack agreed.  "Not that I'll let him in my lap but that's fine."  They all smiled.  "Do we have to take special precautions or call ahead when he's in town?"

"No.  We know.  People get a bit happier to see him because he spends large.  But if you can get him to go bankrupt our other dealers in town by playing poker with them, we'd like that."  The Vice detective snickered.  "We would."

"I would too," he agreed.  Xander came back.  "Dinner saved?"

"It was," he said, smiling at him.  "I played last week and gave the money to the Chief."  The detective nodded his thanks, going to help with the arrest and count.

"We're going to need an ambulance, one guy fell face first into his mound of cocaine," a female voice called.

Xander called the emergency number.  "Hi, we need an ambulance at the huge drug bust across the street from Mr. Harris' house please?  One of the officers said that someone fell into their mound of cocaine so they're probably about to OD.  Thank you."  He hung up and grinned at Jack, starting to bounce again.  "I do feel better."

"It got you out of backlog?"  Xander beamed and nodded.  "Good job."  He looked at the officers.  "Need him for more?"

"No, we're good," the guy in charge said.  "Thank you, Mr. Harris.  They had enough guns to wipe us out."

Xander nodded.  "So do I but I'm not that mean."  The officers smiled so he bounced off.  He caught a neighbor staring.  "Drug dealers," he called.  She shuddered.  "I caught them doing weed and coke on the front lawn yesterday."

"Then it's good that they're being arrested.  Usually we get some very nice neighbors.  You're fairly decent for being your age," she said.  "Even if your house is a bit busy."

Xander nodded.  "But I get bored really easily."  She smiled at that.  "Have a better night.  None of the kids had to see that."  He bounced inside to check on dinner again.

Jack shook his head.  He called John's cellphone.  "Winchester, O'Neill.  The boy's fine even though he did help take down the drug dealers who moved in across the street.  He hormoned them for the cops after one challenged him."  He hung up.  He *so* wanted to see if they could use that skill on his last project.  It'd come in very handy during an assault on a higher level alien menace.  He could see a lot of uses for it.  He found Xander humming in the kitchen, smiling at his dancing around.  "That was pretty fancy sword work."

"It's the first style I learned.  It's part of a storytelling dance series."  He grinned at him.

"What happened to your tooth?"

"I tripped and fell.  It'll come back in a minute."  He went back to moving around the kitchen.  "I planted nice trees that give fruit and stuff.  They should have to too.  Not nasty drug plants."

"They shouldn't have them anyway."  He saw an officer hiking their way and went to answer the door.  "What's wrong?"

"The green thing?"

"Xander gutted him when he said he was off protected ground."

Xander leaned into the hallway.  "Sneer at it, it's not dead yet.  If it is, burn it."  He went back to cooking.  "Want some dinner, Officer?"

"No, we're pretty good, Mr. Harris.  Thank you anyway.  By the way, the lunch you sent us last week was highly appreciated."

"He did?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, sent us in sandwiches from a local deli that just opened up.  Our whole precinct got lunch and dinner."

"That's pretty cool," he decided, getting a smile back.  "We'll be going shopping tomorrow."

"And the spa probably."

"Could be, he hasn't told me."

"They'll call to remind him in the morning.  They have to because he's scatterbrained when he's backed up."  He walked off happier.  "Sir, he said if it's not dead it can go home.  If it is dead to burn it."

"One of those," he said dryly.  He glared at it, dropping his cross on it.  It shrieked and disappeared.  He picked up his cross to wipe it off then put back on.  "That'll work too."  He went to help with the count of the plants.  DEA was going to be kissing their butts in a few days.

***

John looked at his sons, shaking his head.  They were hiding locally in case O'Neill couldn't handle it tonight.  Jack might not be able to handle Xander because he had seemed a bit uptight to them.  Not everyone could be open minded and tolerant enough to deal with Xander on a kick.  Some had even run.  "Drug dealers."

"The new people across the street?  I heard Xander turned them in," Sam said.

"He went to hormone them for the cops."

"Probably saved them being shot at," Dean said dryly.  "Got him out of backlog too."  Sam nodded at that.  "We'll have to try that, Sammy."  He sipped his beer.  "O'Neill handling it so far?"

"He called to tell me it was handled and Xander was fine."  They grinned and decided to move on to their hunt tonight after all.  He clearly had it.

***

Jack called Daniel while they were at the chocolate shop.  "Danny, Jack.  I'm good.  I'm playing protector for a young guy at the moment. He reminds me a lot of you," he said dryly.  He glared at the person reaching for Xander's hair.  "He'll swat, lady.  Don't yank his hair."  Xander looked back at her, scowling.  She pouted and moved back.  He went back to listening.  "That's where I am, yeah.  Why?"  He smiled at the cops were keeping an eye on them, he had heard it on his scanner answer.  "That's cool.  Want to come meet Xander and talk to him?  I think he's a fascinating young man who you'd like to talk to."  He could probably study this whole hormoned out group very well and figure out if it had strategic uses.  "Sure, that's where we are.  Xander, where are we getting lunch?  I'm going to introduce you to one of the guys I worked with."

"I don't care.  Pick somewhere not too upscale since I'm not in a suit."  He took his bag and the change, smiling.  "Thank you."  He kissed her on the cheek, getting a blush.  "You feed my chocolate addiction *very* well."  They bounced out, heading to put that in the cooler in the back of the porsche.  Jack snatched the keys when Xander tried to drive, naming a restaurant then hanging up.  "I can drive," he pouted.

"You were weaving.  I'll drive."   Xander nodded, getting around to get in.  Jack slid into the seat, having to push it back just a bit.  "How did you get this one?  It doesn't seem like your type of car."

"I won it in a card game against a sheik.  I won a resort and a plane too but Steve had me sell the plane."

Jack gave him an odd look.  "Hormones?"

"No. We made sure."  He grinned.  "I'm evil at baccarat."

"Good to know."  He started the engine, letting it settle into the usual purr.  "Where are we going before lunch?  We have about an hour before Danny can get free."

"Um...  I need to hit the music store."

"Can we do that in under an hour?"  It had taken the kid half an hour to buy ten pounds of chocolate so it was a reasonable question.

"Maybe not.  Can we play in the park?"

"The place I like is near there so sure."  He drove them that way, letting the boy go play in the sunshine.  He ended up swinging, making the few kids there giggle at him.  Jack settled in to watch, having to smile.  A goofy Xander made you grin.  You had to.  He felt someone sit beside him.  "Danny, you're early."

"I figured you'd be here since they're still watching you guys.  Why?"

"Xander has a fairly odd hormone condition," he said quietly.  "Last night he subdued a house of drug dealers with it."

"Oh."  He considered that.  "I've heard rumors of people like that."

"Xander also used to hunt demons."

"Those I have heard more about."  He considered it, smiling when Xander jumped off the swing.  "He's going to get hurt."

"As I found out, he heals pretty fast."

"That's good."  He looked at him.  "Drug dealers?"

"Moved in across the street and one came over to get him to party with them."

"Ah."  He went back to watching the kid have fun.  "How old is he?"

"Twenty-two in three days," Xander called.

"He's got good hearing," Jack said dryly.

"Very," Daniel agreed.  Xander hopped off the monkey bars and strolled over.  "Hi, Doctor Daniel Jackson.  I used to work with Jack at the local base."

"Not the castrate me sort, right?"

Daniel gave him an amused look.  "Archeology and languages, not a medical one."

"That's cool.  I like you much better than I would if you were a castrate me sort."  He stared at him.  "Do you get into a lot of trouble?"

"Now and then," Jack agreed dryly.  "I was starting to wonder last night if you two should be in the same organization."

"Well, there are many pleasures, but the pleasures of the mind have never been my sort," Xander said dryly.

"I've heard semi ancient mentions of the group," Daniel admitted.  "Well, middle ages."

"We started in the sixteen-hundreds."

"That's about when I heard."  He grinned.  "I can tell you I'm not because I don't get to date all that often."

"Pity.  Then again I don't get out of the house very much so it's all good.  Next time you die, you should come see me."  Jack spluttered.  He looked at him.  "What?"  He grinned and bounced off again.

Daniel frowned, looking at his back.  "That was an odd comment but it probably comes from the demon hunting."  He looked at his buddy.  "How long is he going to drive you the same sort of nuts I used to drive you?"

"Month."

"That's cool.  Lunch?"

"Sure.  Xander, car, let's hit lunch."  The boy pouted at him.  "We can come play later.  For dinner.  We're going to the steak place."  Xander squealed and ran for the car.  Jack shook his head, smiling at Daniel.  "He's a good kid."

"I'm sure he is."  They headed too, Daniel following the porsche to Jack's favorite steak place.  They talked over lunch; getting to know more than the shallow facade the boy was showing to everyone so he could hide in plain sight.  He was a very interesting young man.  Jack took him to the music store and Daniel went back to see if the military could use that sort of power on their project.  Xander had nearly stunned the whole restaurant so it was a good idea.  It was nice two people had tried to pay for their lunch but Jack had refused and paid for it out of the kid's wallet.  Which apparently he was holding so the kid didn't get mugged when someone tried for his hair again.  Yeah they could use the kid in the SGC, but the sort of trouble he'd get into would easily eclipse Daniel's own problems that cropped up now and then.  So maybe Jack would quit calling him a trouble magnet now that he knew someone was worse than they were as a team.

***

Xander blinked at the judge.  "I saw them smoking it on the front lawn, Your Honor.  Of course I called them in.  I don't like drugs.  That's why when they came over I went to get something to protect myself.  Drug dealers are often mean and a few of the higher powered ones have recently begun to see my fellow GHS members as status symbols too and started to steal us as sex slaves.  Which I don't want so of course I tried to protect myself.  Rape is a horrible thing I never want to have to go through."  He took a breath and went on babbling.

"So when the officer came to check on me I turned them in for the second time.  The guy came over even though he had seen the cop car pull in and us chatting.  There's a clear line of sight to the front door from the driveway and he could've seen it once he was on the street.  When it turned into a bad thing, I acted to protect myself and the officer then a higher idiot came out to threaten me so I dealt with him too.  By then the officers were there since I had been stalling for time."

Another breath.  "The officer in charge asked me to hormone them so they wouldn't shoot at the officers since they hadn't brought SWAT or anything, just the normally trained officers who might be killed.  I always thought SWAT guys thought they were more bulletproof than they actually are, but normal officers know they're not bulletproof so they have vests and the vests don't cover all the important areas."  Another breath and he got back on track because he could tell Jack was worried he was rambling.

"So anyway I had to walk inside to hormone most of them and I told them about the stinky plants that were in violation of the local community rules for plants and I missed two of the women in the house but they came out and pouted because they can't have hair like mine or have me once the hormones got them.  They were diluted from going into the closet in the attic they had been hiding in you see and the officers had to pull them out.  So I did a good thing because I loathe drugs and I cannot and will not stand for them to be in my neighborhood."

The judge blinked at him, looking at the court reporter.  "Did you manage to get all that?"

"I'll transcribe it from the tape, sir.  He talked faster than I can type but we do tape all these."

"That's fine."  He looked at him.  "I think it's a good thing you turned them in, young man.  What's at issue is if you...hormoning them is a legitimate way to get them out."

"Your Honor," Jack said.  "May I?"  The judge gave him an odd look so he pulled out his credentials, getting a moan.  "In my line of work, if it works it works.  It's probably not any more problematic than a hallucinogenic gas the military has been using.  Yes, it made them try to have an orgy later in the jail.  Yes, some of them needed to shower it off before they got jumped in their cells.  If they had used tear gas, they still would've needed the shower and they were going to be jumped anyway statistically speaking.  In the future, we'll work on Xander lowering it so it only makes them drool at him instead of them being that far gone.  It was his first attempt at that and the commander did ask because they only had regular vests, not the super kevlar gear the Rapid Response units have."

"The officer called in a few drug dealers, we had no idea it was an enclave," the DA agreed.  "It was an unusual method but I can't fault the results since no officers were harmed and, like the Colonel said, they'd be getting it anyway statistically speaking."

"He's young, Your Honor.  He's having trouble controlling them most of the time.  He had no idea it'd be that bad when the commander told him to let loose on the house," Jack said, squeezing Xander's shoulder to keep him quiet.

He sighed, but nodded.  "I can see how that happens.  How does he usually wear this problem out?"

"They're gone for a month," Xander said with a small pout.  The judge and the DA both blushed at that.  "They are."

"I'm sure we'll find other ways," Jack said patiently.  "He has other ways in place but they're not as good as the ...natural way of wearing out his pheromones."

The judge considered it. "It's no worse than using a new trial gas," he decided.  The defendant's lawyer groaned.  It had been a weak try to buy some time.  "From time to time, departments do get trial versions of new methods.  In this case, no one died, and yes, the Police Department probably should have let them shower it off but those sort of judgement calls were made by someone who was not at the scene so he couldn't have known.  In the future I would caution the department to either use him at half strength or not at all because it does seem to have some ...side effects and if they do have to use Mr. Harris' gift on others, to put a plan in place to quarantine them after a long shower so no other incidences can happen.  Thank you for helping them, Mr. Harris."

"Not a problem.  I can't stand drugs or drinking."  The judge nodded.  "Can I go?"  The judge nodded so Jack walked him off.  He sighed once they were outside.  "Thanks, Jack."

"Welcome, kid."  He walked him outside, taking him home for his martial arts lesson.  One of the nosy women who lived nearby gave him a dirty look.  "What?"

"What did he do?" she hissed.

"His hormone condition went off on 'em," Jack said dryly.  "The commander in charge asked since they didn't have riot or assault gear and they had a lot of guns."

"Oh."  She shuddered.  "It's good they're out of here.  I know Mindy wasn't sure if they should use her lot or not to spy on them."

"It's not often a bad thing," he assured her.  He nodded at the guy driving into the gate then smiled at her.  "I'm his temporary bodyguard while the others are out of town and former military, ma'am.  If some of their cohorts show up, let me know."

"Jack!" Xander called.

"Gotta go."  He jogged that way, finding the guy had a gun on him.  "Who's this?"

"No idea but I'm going to kick his ass."

"No you're not," he sneered.  Jack got him on the back of the neck with a fist and he went down screaming.

"I can do it better," Jack said.  He called.  "This is Mr. Harris' house.  Someone just drove in and put a gun on him.  Thank you.  He's down.  I got his back."  He hung up and looked at him.  "Martial arts?"

Xander looked at the clock.  "Should've been here by now."  He went to call him.  "Was I too late?  The judge wanted to talk to me about the drug dealers I  helped arrest yesterday."  He listened.  "I'll yell at Steve for that.  Anything we still owe?  Of course I do."  He smiled.  "Thanks, man.  Sure, let me yell at Steve."  He found his number and called him.  "Someone forgot to pay my martial arts coach?"  He listened.  "Who did that?"  He groaned.  "For how long and what reason did they give?"  He nodded once.  "No, they're going to be sorry fuckers, Steve.  Thanks, man.  Yeah, go ahead and sneak it out of the others."  He called the number Steve gave him. "This is Mr. Harris.  One of your agents decided to lock my bank accounts without probable cause or even a good reason.  I'd like to talk to him.  In person if he's available.  If not, I'm going to sue.  And yes, I can do that."  He listened to the receptionist laugh and sneered.

"We'll see, honey.  Get me that agent please?  How would I know?  My financial manager told me when I called."  She put him on hold and he found his calling necklace, using it to get a messenger demon.  He wrote a note to Vesvold then sent it off.  He came back to a different female voice.  "And you are?  That's good to know.  Are you the agent who decided to lock my accounts without a good reason?"  He tapped his fingers on the arm of the couch.  "Lady, I won it in a baccarat game," he said dryly.  "That's not my fault.  It's not like I run the place.  The manager does it for me because I have not a clue what to do with business stuff.  That strange financial language isn't one I'm fluent in."  The demonic lawyer appeared, waving to take the phone.  "My lawyer's here, babble at him."  He handed it over.

"Ma'am," he said, listening to her.  "Yes, I would.  Was a warrant presented?  Because it was not to us and there has been no notice of an investigation, which your agency does have to present before the warrant.  It's also considered better form to ask questions and cheaper for the agency when we have to sue you.  No, Mr. Harris is not related to anyone in that area.  I know of his background and he's from lower California, ma'am.  A little town called Sunnydale."  He heard the shudder. "Yes, he is that Alexander Harris.  No, his middle name is Lavelle."  He smirked at him.  "It sounds like they got the wrong one, Mr. Harris."

"That's fine, but they still presented a warrant and locked my account.  I went shopping yesterday."

"We used cash yesterday," Jack told him. "Problems?"

"Feds," he said dryly.  "Who think for some reason I'm in the mob."

"The mob doesn't like gay men," Jack said dryly.  The lawyer repeated that.  "If you were, you'd be a wife and they'd never accept that."  The lawyer repeated that, getting a groan.  "Who said you were in the mob?"

"A Mr. Devi?" the lawyer said.

Xander smirked, taking the phone back.  "Ma'am, Mr. Devi is just Devi, that's his whole name.  He's also a brothel owner in New York.  While on my last roadtrip I temped in there a few weeks to figure out if I was still het or bi or fully gay.  That is how I made that money, yes.  That was my forty percent of what I brought in."  She gasped.  "What else did he say?"  He nodded at a few things.  "I'll definitely handle him.  Thank you for letting me know that.  No, I left when I was cursed by one of my fellow coworkers."  He smirked.  "Exactly.  Now, is there anything else or can you unlock it today?  I do have to pay utility bills sometime soon.  I think.  No, ma'am, I'm a member of GHS."

She shuddered and said something.  "Ten."  He smirked.  "Exactly.  I'm not fit to run a treadmill, much less a mob.  Unless they're my harem and petting my hair?"  He snickered at her comeback.  "Thank you for your cooperation.  Next time, just come ask me.  It'd save you aggravation and me too.  Not to mention it'd be easier and faster without having to go to a judge.  No, I left a few years back and now I'm in a relationship with my keeper.  It was only to find myself.  I was twenty-one on a road trip to find myself, lady.  They're the ones who found out what I am."  He smirked.  "Good!  Thank you!"  He hung up, looking at the lawyer.

"Let Vesvold handle Devi.  He requested that pleasure."

"He can have him after I cut the demon bastard into chunks," Xander said dryly.

The lawyer gave him an odd look.  "You can't do that."

"I can so and his type'll regenerate as long as they're at least six inches big."

The lawyer shuddered.  "Please let Vesvold handle it, Mr. Harris?"

"If he gets there first."

"I'll see what we can do.  Give me a bit."  He disappeared, going to tell his bosses and get to work on that contract.  Devi wanted him to finish it.  Well, he had another thing coming.  The demonic courts were not going to be happy with how it got terminated.  A curse always broke a contract unless it was written in.

Jack watched as three new demons popped in and left stuff then left, one of them smoking from the holy ground. "Fercryin'outloud," he muttered.  "No more!" he shouted.  "He's taken!"

"But the Great One will be our champion some day," one said as she reappeared.  "He won't need him.  He can have any concubine so that would put him back on the market."

"Sam's never going to go over," Xander said dryly.

She sneered.  "You don't know that."

Xander dialed and put it on speaker.  "Sam, the demons are gifting me because they think you're going to go over to their side so I'm going to be free."

"Even if I did go over, Xander, I'm bringing you and Dean with me," Sam said patiently.  "And I'm not going over.  You'd still be my consort."  Xander beamed at the demon.  "Do you have me on speaker?"

"I do."

Sam spat something and the demon screamed then exploded.  "Bitch."

"Eww.  Messy carpets, Sam."

"It'll give you something to do," Dean said next to the phone.  "Behave, Xander.  Just kill them."

"The cops would come if I shot them.  We had to deal with the drug dealers."

"The judge said he's not supposed to hormone the drug dealers again for the PD," Jack said.  "Or they're to take reasonable precautions because they put 'em in gen pop right out of booking."

"Oh, god, they had to be pounced," Sam said grimly.

"Yup," Jack agreed.  "It was a stalling tactic.  Anyway, they found a good haul.  Coca plants, mounds of coke waiting to be bagged.  Drying stuff, cutting stuff.  Some meth someone was making in an old washtub out back.  The DEA is kissing their butts right now because they didn't catch them coming into the country.  He's fine though.  We got it straightened out with the Fed who tried to shut off his accounts thanks to some demon named Devi who apparently wanted him back?"

Xander nodded.  "I still have a week and a half on my old contract but I got deaged and cursed.  That should have broken it."

"I'm sure it did," Sam said.  "We'll make sure of it, Xander, since we're heading to Albany."

"I asked Vessie if I could borrow one of his lawyers for a few minutes."

"Let us see if we can help that," Dean promised.

Xander grinned.  "I wanted to chop him into pieces because he'll regenerate if it's over six inches."

"Good ta know," Sam said.  "Are you behaving?"

"We're fine, boys," Jack promised.  "His self defense trainer will be back next week."  Xander nodded.  "All the account stuff was straightened out.  If it's not back tonight I'll call a strike team down to make her."

"That'll work," Dean agreed.  "Thanks, guys.  Xander, let the housekeeper do the demon parts."

"That's nasty, Dean.  It's gross."

"Then you do it.  You can vacuum."

"Eww."  He smirked at the phone.  "Are you guys having more fun than I am?"

"Not really," Sam said.  "Dad picked a crappy motel."

"Not even a magic fingers system," Dean agreed.

"Oh.  Sorry."

"Not a problem.  We'll see you soon, Xander.  Be good and call later tonight."  He hung up.  He looked at Dean.  "New York?"

"Gladly."  They went to tell their father.  "Devi tried to get Xander in trouble with the Feds to get him back," Dean told him when he found him under his truck's hood.

John looked up from changing a hose in his engine.  "Really?"

Sam nodded.  "Xander said he regenerates if it's over six inch pieces."

"Huh."  He went back to fixing it, smiling at the engine.  "I know where it is, boys."

"Good, give us the address?" Dean asked.

"We'll go together since it's a demon brothel."  They smirked back and got back to making plans.

Dean leaned out.  "Oh, Dad, they're gifting Xander because they think Sammy's going to go over to the dark side and not bring him as his consort."

"I'd kick Sammy's ass if he did and of course he'd bring Xander.  Any others he'd pick up wouldn't know how to make him scream like a girl in the middle of the night loud enough to wake the whole house."

Dean pulled back laughing and told him.  Sam pounced to beat his ass.  It was a good release for them.   John shook his head.  His boys were strange at times.

***

Xander frowned at the guy walking up the street, patting Jack on the arm since he was talking to Daniel about something.  "Jack, is it just me or is he not human and not demonic?  Which means he'd have to be alien, right?"

Jack spluttered, but looked where Xander was.  "No comment.  Teal'c?" he called, waving him over.  "Gotta go, Danny.  Yeah, he said that."  His former teammate smiled at him.  "Teal'c, this is Xander.  I'm guarding him for the rest of the month."

Teal'c looked at the young man, saying something in his native language.  Xander beamed and said something back, getting an amazed look.  "I didn't think you were demonic.  That's one of the demonic languages, a really old one that some of the higher ones speak.  Vessie taught me."  He grinned at Teal'c.  "You don't want to steal me, right?  I'd hate to fight you or make Jack pout at me."

"I do not pout, that's you," Jack snorted.

Xander frowned at him.  "You pouted at me when I only gave you two waffles this morning and then when you realized I had cooked instead of just toasting some eggos."

"Yours are much better," he said, using a tactic he used to use on his wife.  It worked because the boy beamed and hugged him.

"This one's kind is known among mine," Teal'c told Jack.  "They are often heavily guarded.  It is wise to go out with a warrior such as O'Neill."

Xander grinned.  "The keepers I have said I had to and they picked him."

"It is wise of them, Ash'ravam."

Xander giggled.  "Not quite.  Kovarat."

Teal'c swallowed.  "You are nearly mythical among my kind."

"Among ours too because people keep trying to steal me.  Hands off my ass, lady," he said, turning to punch her.  She ducked so he attacked better.

"Whoa!" Jack shouted.  "She's on my team, Xander.  She wasn't trying to grope, she was trying to sneak up on me and got you by accident."  He pulled her off him, getting between them.  "She's not a threat, let me handle the threats."  Xander nodded, walking off sulking.  "Teal'c, please?"  He nodded, following Xander.  He looked at her.  "That was totally stupid, Carter."

She nodded.  "I was trying to figure out who he was and see what's in his hair that set off one of the detectors we have."

"His sword was given to him off realm at a temple of Ares," he said quietly.  "And the demons love him."

"Demons," she snorted.

He nodded.  "He knew the language Teal'c uses for an ancient one."  She groaned.  "Go apologize."  He waved off the officer watching from the cruiser paused on the street.  "She was looking at his hair.  She's on my former team."

"That's fine, Colonel.  Is the boy all right?"

"He's fine.  I sent another of my team with him.  Thanks for checking."

"We don't want him to last ditch effort to get away and hormone the town."  He drove off, going back to report in it had been someone after Harris' hair.  It was pretty hair.  Looked really soft too.

Jack pointed.  "Now."

"Fine," she muttered, heading that way.  "I'm sorry.  I was trying to look at your hair.  Something in it set off a power alarm I have on me, sir.  I was wrong to get that close without warning."

He stared at her then at Jack.  "Is she some sort of science geek?"

"She's an astrophysicist."

He nodded.  "Next time, ask."

"I will.  Can I see the blue ball thing?"  He groaned but pulled it out to hand over.  She pulled out the meter to look it over.  "Where did you get this?"

"Vessie gave it to me.  It's from the realm I ended up having to take over after they kidnaped me when I was younger.  I didn't like their ideas at all."

"Realm?  You're sure?" she asked.

He nodded, smirking at her.  "Very."  He looked at Teal'c, going back to talking to him.  Teal'c laughed at what he said and corrected him.  He said something back, getting an embarrassed look.

She looked at him.  "I do so know hand-to-hand, sir."

"If you did, I wouldn't have gotten the drop on you.  Too much time in the lab rots that."

"Good point.  I do need to practice later."

"I'd let you spar with the kid but I don't want you exposed to him being that sweaty," Jack said, staring Xander down.

"If there were outdoor showers, I'd go hose off."

"No, then we might have a riot," Jack said dryly.  He looked around.  "Gang's all here."

"DanielJackson," Teal'c greeted.  "Have you met Xander yet?"

"I have.  The other day."

"His people know of my kind."  He grinned.

"Kovarat are nearly mythical but it is said that the highest of the High Ones have ones like them to take their minds off their duties and to focus it on the joys of the position," Teal'c said.

"That sounds like a concubine," Sam Carter said.

"Indeed but special ones with special skills that are more magic than art of the body."

Xander nodded.  "Hormones can do that to you."

Daniel nodded.  "Indeed.  I looked up that old research to see where I had heard mention of the group.  Fascinating history."

"That's Adam's thing, not mine.  History is only nice to watch on tv for the gore portion and to see how the power players got away with it without getting killed for being power players and assholes who created the gore in the first place."

"Usually people need to breathe," Sam said dryly.

"You and Daniel don't when you geek out," Jack said dryly.  He grinned at Xander, who relaxed again.  "Anyway.  Why else is my former team in town today?"

"We came to check on you, sir.  Daniel said you had taken a temporary bodyguarding job.  We thought you'd be fishing."

"He needs it worse than Danny does," he said dryly.

"Hey!" Xander complained.

"Kid, someone broke into the house at three to kidnap you so they could brush your hair for you," Jack said dryly.  "You need it more than Danny does.  He just runs at trouble."

"I used to do that but they told me not to come home," he said with a smirk.  "Part of the former job."

He patted him on the back.  "You really do need that mess brushed."

"We were going to the hairdresser to let her do it since I can't get all the knots out."

"Good point."  He pointed.  "That one, right?"  Xander nodded, heading that way.  "Take Teal'c for a minute."  Teal'c hurried after him.  He stared at her.  "Well?"

"He told Daniel to come see him after he died?" she asked quietly.

"I found out why," Daniel told her.  Jack gave him an odd look.  "I can't tell you."  He looked at her.  "What else did you find?  You look rumpled."

"He tried to kick my butt."  She held up the hairpin with the blue ball on the top.

He took it to look at.  "Hmm.  I wonder what sort of power that is."

"Magical," Xander said, taking it back.  "Thanks."  He walked off again.  "Needed this later on."

"We've been out of the field too long if he snuck up on you two," Jack said dryly.  He saw an expensive car stop near Xander and moaned, heading that way quickly without running or seeming to run.  Xander held the door for her and she nodded politely then he followed her in.  She gave him an odd look so he said he was there for his appointment.  The hairdresser came out to get him first.  Teal'c sat nearby and watched him.  Jack walked in and Teal'c gave up his place.

"I usually let my keeper play with it but he had some nightmares and I've had some and I can't get the underside fully free of knots.  I don't know where they are but it's catching on my hair things and it's annoying me because I can feel it pulling when I tip my head forward but I can't find it with the brush.  Plus I can't ever manage to condition all of it at the same time and I'm starting to get a few split ends."

She nodded, looking it over.  "You do have a few tangles.  Let's spray in a detangler after we take out the hairpins and stuff."  Xander nodded, letting her do it.  The sword that expanded got a squeak but Jack took it to hold.  "Okay."

Xander looked back at her.  "People like to steal me.  That's for my defense."

"I can see why."  She got back to pulling things out, finding a small silver band attached to the bottom side but it wasn't going to come free.  "This one's stuck, sir."

Daniel came over to look, then took a hairpin to get it undone.  "I've seen those before."  He let Xander see it.

Xander looked then put it into his pocket.  "I'll be yelling at someone later for that."  That got a smile and a nod from the hairdresser.

She got the detangler and got to work on the knots.  "Some of the knotting will ease up when you have it properly conditioned."

"I get clumps of it where I haven't worked it into an area or fully up to my scalp."

"A lot of women with long hair have that problem.  That and rinsing it out.  Your hair's too fine for a leave in but there's a few good ones that are spray on and one that's a foaming conditioner.  That seems to work better since it clings easier."  Xander nodded at that.  She finally got all the knots out and took him to shampoo it.  It was going to kill her wrists.  "It's a lot heavier than it looks."

"It is, which is why I usually end up with sore wrists while conditioning."

She nodded. "The foaming one can be put in and left on for ten minutes while the water warms back up."  She finished rinsing and turned off the water, sitting him up again to blot it dry.  She got the can of foam, showing him the directions.  "It's not a great conditioner but it's pretty decent and it will moisturize where it's a bit dry on the ends."  She got it and helped him figure out how to work it in.  She also slowed him down even though his arms were aching.  "Do you have someone to help you?"

"My keeper's on a trip for about a month."

"That explains it."  She got it fully worked in.  "You can section it out and work it in that way.  Like you're doing a braid."  Xander beamed at her for that tip and she mentally sighed in pleasure.  He was such a nice boy with very good hair.  She finally got it all the way in and put him under a dryer to heat activate it. "This time we'll add some heat to make it a bit shinier.  Next time it should be able to do it normally."  He nodded.  She went to get her sink ready.  Ten minutes later she came back and got to work rinsing it out.  He yelped a bit.  "Sorry."  She checked his scalp.  "I think the dryer was a bit too warm, sir."

"It happens.  Am I getting more of those white streaks where my hair suddenly bleached itself overnight?"

"Maybe.  You don't color it?"

"No.  It seemed like the color melted out one night."  He shrugged.  "It's nice, I don't get carded."  She laughed but went back to it.  Sure enough a few were fading out but it was fine with her.  It wasn't a medical problem she had heard of.  Just something odd.  It was finally rinsed out and she gave her wrists a rest while his hair dripped into the sink.

Daniel came over to hand her a towel and help her with it, getting a smile.  "I'm friends with his protector."

"That's fine."  They got it mostly dry and she looked.  "We can do a few things.  I can trim the bottom edge."  Xander nodded so she did that.  "Do you want me to finish drying it or leave it down?"

"Braid it?  That's how I usually do it.  It doesn't knot as much," he said with a grin.  "Plus I get waves."

"Sure."  She did a thick braid and used one of the hair accessories he had to seal it.  The rest got stuck in to make it pretty around the top.  "There you go, Mr. Harris."  He tipped her and she smiled.  "Call to give me a day's warning so I can clear an extra long spot next time but I think we can do a weekly treatment."

"I love you."  He gave her a hug and left to pay the bill.

She smiled at his back.  "Such a happy boy," one of her coworkers teased.

"Even rough his hair's sinfully soft and silky," she said with a grin.  "He needs to take good care of it."  She waved as they left.  Then she sat down to work on her sore wrists.  That hair was heavy!  Her coworker gave her some muscle rub from her drawer and it was nice.

***

Xander looked up, smiling at Vesvold.  "Hi, Vessie."

"Good evening, Xander."  He leaned down to give the boy a hug, getting pulled down onto the bed with him and the dog.  "I may not be able to control myself, Xander."

"You can cuddle and not grope.  If Dean can, you can."

Vesvold smiled.  "I think I can do that much."  He held the boy.  "Did you ask the family to take care of Devi?"

"I told them what happened.  I thought they might want to go yell at him."

"They did.  They destroyed a good portion of the brothel and Devi managed to barely get away.  Thankfully the DPP were waiting on him because they knew something was up when they saw the rest of your family in New York."  He stroked over the loosely braided hair.  "I must say I like it down more."

"It knots."  He grabbed something off his bedside table, holding it up.  "Who?"

He took it to look at and sense.  Then he sighed.  "Not of my clan or my species.  One of the other Councilors who was going to claim you had let him put it on voluntarily."

"I don't remember anyone putting that on me."

"Nor do I and I do watch."  He kissed him on the forehead, getting a smile.  "I shall talk to him, Xander."

"If you're sure.  If not, I can."

"No, I can.  I can take that honor duel very well."  He petted the dog when it looked over.  "He is a very good guardian of you."  Jack walked in with a gun.  "I'm not harmful, O'Neill.  I watch over Xander."

"I'd be his but his people might destroy him for it.  He's loved me since I was little the first time."

"Interesting."

"Yes, watching him grow up was," Vesvold agreed.  He kissed the boy on the head.  "Devi will be handled, Xander.  Never fear of that."  He smiled.  "Do you need anything?"

"Are the family okay?"

"They're fine.  The DPP was most amused with their tactics."  He smoothed a hand over Xander's hair.  "Spring will come and so will she," he said in his ear.  Xander gave him an odd look.  "That one, yes."

"Spring?"

"Spring.  It's possible it may be sooner.  The witch searches for you to bring you home."

"The witch and I are going to go 'round," Xander assured him.  He pointed at the band.  "How would he have put that on me?  I haven't seen any of the other councilors you serve with."

He considered it.  "I do not know."

"Find out and tell me so I can make sure it can't happen again?"

"I do believe I can do that."  He smiled.  The boy beamed back.  The dog barked so he petted him again.  "Good boy."

"How's the one you adopted?"

"She's happily sucking up to my mother at the moment.  She adores the little shedding beast.  Said it reminds her of one of her grandchildren."  Xander grinned at that.  "The other one wasn't able to adapt to their new home so it's with another councilor who thinks of it like an odd cousin.  He even asked it how he should vote."  Xander giggled, giving him a cuddle.  "Thank you, Xander.  Have a good sleep."

"You too, Vessie.  You need more sleep.  You look tired."  He stroked his forehead with a fingertip.  "You're getting stress wrinkles.  Smile more."  He got smiled at then the demon disappeared.  "Vessie's on the High Demonic Council.  His people are nearly mythical to hunters and Watchers."

"Who was he talking about?  The witch?"

"My former friends who told me not to come home."

"If they show up, let me know."

"Oh, you'll hear the screaming," Xander promised.  "There will be *such* a screaming match."  Jack gave him a look so he sat up to stare at him.  "Buffy told me not to come home, to my own hometown, the one I'd been in since I was born, because she decided I was worthless again after winning two major battles for her.  They wouldn't have been able to pull off the spell to hype her if it hadn't been for me."  Jack moaned.  "Or defeat the Mayor at graduation.  Then, little Miss Perfect Slayer goes on a binge at the local frat houses because she's a freshman and doesn't have to worry about things like the nightly patrols we had been doing for four years.  And still have to do."  Jack let out a deeper moan.  "During a party, she got into a dogpile.  Her mother and she decided to tell the police I had raped her."  Jack glared.  "I don't want to see them.  Her mom Joyce was like my own mother.  Fuck 'em.  If they show up, you'll probably hear the screaming halfway across town."

"If I'm not here, have them call me if you need backup, kid."  He shook his head.  "You have better friends now."

"I know I do.  John would've kicked her ass."

"Good.  Go back to sleep."  Xander nodded, tucking himself back in.  Jack went back to his apartment to think.  Then he sent an email to Sam's account.  Sam Winchester, not his Sam.  His Sam would go out there to kick her ass in a fit of womanly rage.  Winchester would do it with less womanly rage.  Which was what she deserved it sounded like.  Plus they were in the same business.  So maybe they could find her someone to take care of her and teach her better ways of dealing with things than drinking.

***

John looked at the email that just popped up.  "Jack wrote."

"Does it say why Xander hasn't written in three days?" Dean asked.

He read it over, nodding.  "He's been a bit backed up and he's been flitting around the kitchen for the last few days.  Vesvold was down."

"How's he doing?"

"They talked.  Xander handed over a small ring that had been in his hair, the hairdresser found it, and he's warning us that the witch...  Shit, Buffy and Willow are showing up."

Dean snorted.  "Fat chance."

Sam came in with dinner.  "What's up?"

"Jack wrote.  Buffy and Willow are going to be showing up sometime soon," Dean said.

"Uh-huh.  Figures.  Soon like before one of us gets back?"

"Could be," John admitted.  "Jack said Vesvold warned for the spring but Willow was actively looking for him.  He's not that hard to find."

"Hmm, look in the phone book for his cellphone," Dean agreed.  He took his burgers, letting Sam hand their father his then sit down with his own chicken sandwich.  "Are there hunters out there?"

Sam took his laptop back, getting into another window.  He typed into a system he hardly ever accessed.  "Learned it off one of the guys in the dorm when he fixed the virus one girl sent me to show she was interested," he said at Dean's odd look.  He sent the file he had at her, making her system crash, burn, and destroy itself.  He logged out then logged back in and went into his own email.  "Found one that got routed wrong into the trash."  He moved it and put Xander on the 'always allowed' list then settled in to read it, smiling at the silliness.  Dean took it when he was done, then handed it to their father.  He went back to his dinner, happier now.  They'd call Xander tomorrow since he didn't have anything to do but shop and he could always hold that off.

John shook his head, handing it back to Sam.  That boy was happy about some of the strangest things.  Splinters and grease burns.  Yuck.

***

Vesvold appeared in front of John in the woods a few days later, scaring the crap out of him.  "We must talk," he said quietly.

John lowered his shotgun.  "The boys are off on the other trail.  We're hunting a were that's eating people."

"I know.  It's near them and they can handle it.  Beyond that, I do not wish to upset them that much.  It may yet push Samuel over the edge and I do not think he'd make a good leader of evil.  It'd take away my job."  John nodded, lowering his gun fully and putting the safety on.  "Thank you."  He created two chairs and sat down.  "Please."

John sat down, looking at him.  "This looks bad."

"It is."  He held up the small silver ring.  "Do you know what this is?"

"Um...  Too small to be anything but an earring."

"No.  It's a claiming band.  If some of us or certain paths of magic users get Xander to voluntarily wear one is it sign that they are mated."  John nodded slowly.  "It being put on against their will or on someone underage is the sign of ownership, not of mating."  John nodded again, a bit faster.  He knew that many demons wanted Xander to be theirs.  "In the case of this one," he said, letting him look at it.  "It was put on by one of my former coworkers."

"Former?"

"I asked him how it got put there when he knew Xander was not his."  John growled. Vesvold held up a hand.  "He had put it on, or so he claimed, when another human who supposedly had claim on the boy sold him for aid in a problem and to gain knowledge."

"Willow."

"Mr. Giles," he corrected.  John glared, clutching the ring.  "My former coworker is no more.  Trying to claim that which I have claimed is always a bad idea.  I have known for a very long time I would one day have to prove my claim, even if Xander is never mine because the boy's past would make sure he did not go to any demon."

"True," John agreed. "It makes him wary of even the more harmless ones."  They both heard the dual gunshots.  "Get it?" he called.

"Yeah, got it," Sam called back.  "We're good."

John looked at him.  "What claim does he have on the boy?"

"He claims teacher's rights and that the boy had given him blood and skin voluntarily.  In truth it was for a spell they had to do.  We knew of this, as did he.  Teacher's rights are iffy at best but he did not step in when the girls told him not to come home, thereby severing his rights to him if he ever had any rights at all."

"Xander said he had to do a lot of learning on his own and Giles trained the group."

"Indeed.  As it looked to us."  He shifted in his seat.  "As such, Giles has been charged with selling a human soul that was not his own or in his possession in front of the demon courts.  He is extremely sorry at the moment.  His slayer tried to protest, but they said he had gone beyond that bond as well."

"So they're going to go after Xander?" John asked quietly.

"Indeed.  Xander is the only one who can release him from his punishment.  I have not warned him yet but I am going to warn Jack and then talk to the boy tomorrow when he's awake.  He had no idea Mr. Giles had sold him.  Or that his reason went along the lines of 'all GHS know that level tens are meant to belong to someone powerful who can protect them'."

"That would mean he is," John said.

"A very low level two," he agreed, standing up.  John stood up too and the chairs disappeared.  "I have dealt with that threat but the lesser threat can cause you problems and them problems.  As is the local department is watching Xander because they heard that rumor and that he plays poker with thugs.  They've been told to stop it but they're not."

"Should we move him?"

"No.  He's as safe there as anywhere at the moment."  That got a nod.  "Actually, Jack's a very good choice.  His team will help him and his job is one that calls many to service to save the world."  He gave him a look.  "Try to make him calm down.  My beloved is still a berserker and he will end up harming people that he once cared for.  It could destroy him."  He disappeared.

John sighed, gathering his thoughts.  They had one more thing they *had* to get.  "Boys?"

Dean stepped out of the shadows.  "What happened?  We saw Vesvold leave."

"Rupert Giles sold Xander to another councilor on the High Demonic Council."  Dean glared.  "He had him marked and all that."  He held up the ring.  "Vesvold's dealt with that issue and Giles is in jail.  The girls are looking for Xander for that reason."

"We have one we have to get," Sam said as he came out of the trees.  "By the way, hellhound, not werewolf."

John nodded.  "Hit the cars, let's get that one done immediately and then head home.  Those girls are going to have a problem if they start shit and he did say they'd try it with us."

Dean nodded.  "Pity.  But hey, slayers die, right?"  He walked off, going to the car.  Sam was behind him fuming.  His father hit a tree then went to his truck.  They had to kill the other thing.  It had defaced their mother's grave.  Then it sounded like they were Colorado or Sunnydale bound.  He called a contact out there.  "It's Dean Winchester.  I want to know the *minute* Buffy Summers or Willow Rosenburg leave town.  They're heading to hurt Xander since their mentor tried to sell him without his consent."  He nodded.  "That's what I said.  The one who watches over him found a small silver ring in his hair."  He smirked.  "Exactly.  We've got one we have to do.  It defaced Mom's gravestone.  Then we're headed.  Are they already gone?"  He gave Sam an evil smirk.  "They're in LA."

"I know Angel's contact info," he said quietly.  He sent an email out that way from his phone telling the nicer Watcher, who had turned into a hunter, what had happened.  "That's a good start.  It'll reduce her impact."

"Good for me," Dean agreed.  "Thanks, Tom.  Probably three days then traveling time."  He nodded.  "Good deal.  Thanks, dude."  He hung up.  "He'll call if they leave LA."

"Even better."

"Call Dad?"

Sam called him.  "It's us.  Dean talked to Tom, the guy who covers lower California.  She's in LA at the moment and I emailed the hunter on the LA team.  Tom will call us if they move out of LA."  He smiled.  "That'll work.  Meet you there."  He hung up.  "He said to park at Missouri's, we need to talk to her.  She can stop some of the 'we've taken deals' rumors."

"Got it."  Dean pulled onto the right road with a spin of tires and turned on the radio.  It was time to kick some ass.

***

Wesley read his email then looked up.  "Cordelia?  Come see if I'm seeing things?"  She came over to read over his arm, then looked at him.  "Does that say what I think it does?"

"It does.  Hey, Angel.  Got a tip on a bigger bad thing that we haven't had a vision about."  He came over to read.

"Need my help?" Buffy asked.

"Nope," Cordelia said.  She would not need any help to kick Buffy's ass.

Angel read then nodded once.  "I know the source named," he said quietly.  He looked at Wesley.  "You?"

"I know the name of the person who wrote."  He highlighted it with the mouse.  Angel nodded.  "I do know that they're not the sort to do what's rumored."

"We'll see."  He went into his office to get his duster.  "I'll be back in an hour or so.  Don't wait up."  He headed out to a demon bar far underground.  He walked in and a few edged toward the back door.  "I'm not here for you."  He pulled one demon up and walked him off.  "I'm here to ask you a few questions and to get your boss down to talk to me."

"My boss died," he complained as he was carried.  "Vesvold killed him over that human quarth!"

"That's what I want to talk about," Angel assured him, carrying him outside.  He slammed him into a wall and got into his face.  "We got sent an interesting story from Winchester."

"Immortal bastard.  Now he'll never fulfill the prophecy," he said with a glare.  "So?"

"About Rupert selling your boss Xander."

He swallowed.  "Um..."

"I need to know what's going on.  Buffy's in town.  I'll give you enough time to hide and warn."

He nodded quickly, telling him how it had went down and why.  What the reward was, all of it.  Angel sighed, nodding and putting him down.  He ran off, going to warn the others Buffy was not only in town but going after Harris for being alive and well.  It was not going to be pretty.

Angel went back to the Hyperion, finding Faith had come back and she was fighting Buffy.  Talk about bad timing.  He pulled her off, shoving her against a wall hard enough to knock her out for a few minutes.  They got Buffy and Willow moved while she was unconscious.  "Not right now, Faith.  There's a prior claim on her ass," he said quietly when she woke up.  He was squatted down, looking at her.

"Why?" she sneered.  "Got to get a Watcher?  They can't take me out either."

"Because she falsely claimed Xander raped her.  Then Giles sold him to a higher level demon."

She went pale, shaking her head.  "That's evil.  That's not B's style."

"It is," he agreed.  "And if you can reform into a better girl, you can walk away.  There's hunters who could use you.  Wesley knows some."  Wesley nodded.  "Including Xander."

"Boytoy needs rescued?  Because higher level or not, I can smack 'em down.  No one deserves that.  I heard what happens to slayers and hunters when they get taken in by demons."

"Not at the moment but it does come in handy."  Angel smirked.  "One of the Highest on the Demonic High Council loves Xander and would kill for him.  That's how we found out about the deal."

She went limp so he pulled her up with him.  "She..."

He held up a hand.  "There's a prior claim.  You can have her after others are done with her.  Xander first."

She nodded.  "I can see how that goes.  Where is Tweedy 1?"

"Being punished."  She smirked evilly.  "We will arrange things for you to heal.  I know we can do it." Cordelia grabbed her head, thumping it onto the desk.  "That may be it.  Stay."

"Whatever."

Gunn handcuffed her to the pole she had been held against.  "Got her.  The other two are in the kitchen."

She looked at him.  "You like cuffs that much?" she taunted with a smirk.

"No, but they come in handy when you or Cordy get mouthy.  I can't stand mouthy women."

Angel smirked, leading his team off to tell them what had happened.  Wesley swore.  He had to stop Cordelia from going to get them for the boy.  Wesley came up with an idea or six to help her.  Fred nearly managed to get away to beat them herself and she had never met Xander.  His team decided on a course of action and nodded.  Wesley escorted Faith off to Colorado.  Xander could use more protection and when the Winchesters got back they could help her more than anyone else to see what she had done wrong and right.

Because not all of that was her fault and she had the chance to heal.  Cordelia's vision had said so.  He told her all of it on the way to the car.  She gave him an odd look but her eyes showed something they hadn't in a while - hope.  Angel went in to talk to the girls.  They started to scream back about how bad and wrong Xander was.  He shot down all of it, including Buffy's delusions.  Then he kicked them out of the hotel, told them to go home.  Willow got them home but he knew they were planning.  As long as they did it outside his city.  She could destroy it if not gotten out of it.  A mad slayer was a sight to behold and be very scared of when her mind figured out it was broken.

***

Jack answered the door the next morning, giving the young woman an odd look.  "Does Xander know you?  He doesn't usually like girls."

"That's because they try to kill him after he dates 'em.  I'm wondering if lusting after B was enough to warp her."  Xander came out of his bedroom looking confused.  "Boytoy, more than I need to see anymore.  Saw it once."  He shrugged, staring at her.

Wesley came up behind her.  "Xander, and you are?"

"Jack O'Neill.  I'm temping while his family is off handling something."  He let them inside.  "Xander, please put on clothes?  I don't want to know that much about you.  Saw too much the last time, kid."

He gave him a dirty look.  "Fine," he muttered, going to put on lounging pajama pants.  He came back out, staring at Faith.  "I'm glad you made it out of the coma, Faith.  We couldn't find you to keep the Watchers from taking you.  I thought they might to wetworks you."

"I was hidden under the mayor's name."  She sat down, staring at him.  "You're different."

"It's called growing up."

She nodded.  She shifted nervously.  "I'm sorry as hell I tried to kill you, X."

"I understood, Faith.  You were trapped.  Animals bite the hands trying to help them out too."  He sat down across from her.  "I'm not happy any of you found me."

"Samuel gave me your address," Wesley told him.  "The only one I've shared it with is Cordelia; who would like a letter sometime soon and pictures."

Xander nodded.  "Okay."  He looked at Faith.  "So what's with the running away this time?"

"I went after B when I woke up," she said honestly.

Xander nodded.  "It was probably the high point in her life, Faith.  I'm not going to step between you two, even if I won't die of it."

"If B gets you, you will be," she warned.

He smiled.  "I'm harder to kill than she thinks I am."  He got comfortable.  "So why the chitchat?"

"I think Faith could use someone who gave a damn about her," Wesley said.  Faith looked at him.  "Like your first Watcher, Faith.  Someone who can help you stay mostly on the light."

"Because hunting is still killing, just necessary killing," Xander agreed.  "We all have a dark streak or we'd have been in tears every night or suicidal from the hunting getting to us."  Faith gave him an awed look.  "There's other hunters who have gotten to that point.  I'm protected, kept, and nurtured by a family of hunters."

She swallowed.  "Wesley thinks you can help me find someone like that."

He smiled.  "I think we can."  He leaned forward.  "Do you want to stay on the straight and narrow, Faith?"

"I don't know."

"That's a good answer," Jack admitted.  He looked down at her.  "I've had to kill in combat a few times."  She shivered at that matter-of-fact tone of voice.  "Some soldiers need a guiding hand.  Someone who can work with them, tell them where the line is.  Some of them were over the line when they got there because the dark side of the line was all they knew.  They still managed to make it to the light and hold onto the line."

She stared for a minute.  "I killed a guy accidentally when B tossed him in a fight.  I thought he was a vamp."

He nodded.  "That's called collateral damage in the military and we hate it, but we all know it happens now and then no matter how often or how hard we try to stop it.  Because human judgement is always behind every weapon and it has to be the final call."  She went pale.  "That's not a judgement.  I've had to run after a guy in a crowd when he was firing at me.  I know at least one of them got hit and I know at least one of my bullets went wide, even though I'm a very good shot.  I've told myself it hit a building because there was nothing I could do if it didn't.  More people would die if I didn't stop that person."

She turned to look at him better.  "How did you not turn?"

"He didn't have someone there to tempt him to the dark side," Xander told her.  "The mayor swooped in to walk you across that line."  She looked at him.  "Didn't he?"  She nodded, slumping down.  "Do you regret it?  Because if Angel can come back from a century of being so scary half of Europe still uses his name as a booogie man, you can."

She looked at him.  "I do."

"Then we'll help," Xander said simply.  He grinned.  "Want breakfast?  I'm getting to be a pretty decent cook."

"It's like eleven," she said dryly.

He shrugged.  "I didn't have anything to do today, Faith."

"Spa and training this afternoon," Jack corrected.  He smiled at her.  "You can hang with me and watch his back for a while."

She stared at him.  "What are you?"

"Retired Colonel in the Air Force," he said with a smug look.  "I'm playing protector for him while the family's gone."

"Huh."  She looked at him.  "Why do you need a protector, X?  Beyond why they usually like you."

He grinned, standing up and pulling her into the kitchen to tell her the whole story about hormones and pheromones.

"No fucking way!" she said loudly a few minutes later.  He got something from the study and handed it to her.  "Even better than shiny.  I thought things like this were a myth!"

"No.  That's a former tip," he said dryly.  Jack moaned, shaking his head.  "Hey, Jack, do you think Captain Broomstick Up Her Ass, Wants My Hair will get along well with Faith?"

"Sam can play nicely, Xander," he assured him.  "She's not that uptight when you get to know her."

"Uh-huh.  She still wants to grab my hair and hair yankers suck."

"I'll make sure she doesn't grab your hair," Jack said patiently.

Faith giggled.  "I can see why people want to play with it, boytoy."

He grinned.  "Sam and Dean do too sometimes."  She gaped.  He gave her a smug look.  Then he went back to making food.  "Wesley, want food?" he called.

"If you're cooking I wouldn't mind but don't go to any trouble for me," he called.

"I no longer speak polite British guy, Wes."

"If it's not any trouble, Xander."

"Sure.  No more trouble than making myself an extra one," he decided.  She gave him a knowing look.  "I'm pretty well stuck in the house thanks to all the pheromone stuff," he told her.  "I never get to fuss over Dean and if I fuss over Sam, he fusses back."

"That's probably a good place to be," she offered.

He shrugged.  "Could be," he said with a grin.  He finished up, handing her a plate.  "His since I remembered you didn't like mustard."  She grinned, going to hand that one over.  She came back and got handed one.  He carried out one, handing it to Jack.  Who smirked and nodded.  "When are we going out?"

"Two hours."

Xander gave him a horrified look.  "It'll take me that long to do my hair!"  He ate on his way to the shower.

"I could never pull off the hair," Faith said quietly.

"Me either," Jack agreed.  "He does draw a lot of funny looking demons to touch it."

She smirked.  "I can handle that."  She heard a car and looked outside.  "Any idea?"

Jack looked then shook his head.  "No."  He went to answer the door.  "Yes, you are?" he called when the door opened.  He knew when he saw the bald head come out.  "General.  I didn't recognize your off-duty vehicle."

"Jack."  He nodded him to come out to talk to him.  "What are you doing, son?"

He walked over to stand next to him.  "Guarding a young man who needs it because his hormones get him into worse trouble than Danny and who more people want to steal."

General Hammond gave him an odd look.  "I didn't think that was possible."

"Oh it is."  He ate a bite of his sandwich.  "He's in the shower.  We're going to the spa and then he comes back for training later this afternoon."  He ate another bite.  "Teal'c's people had heard of this problem, sir.  He and Xander chatted."

"I heard from Captain Carter."  He gave him a look.  "Do we have any idea what set off her alarm?"

"The magic in the ball of the hairpin."

"Magic?" he asked dryly.

Xander leaned out.  "Jack, do I have to turn him into a toad?"

"No, Xander.  This is my former commanding officer.  The one who said I needed to retire."

He snorted.  "You're too young to retire.  You still like trouble too much too."  He smirked at him.  "Hi, Xander Harris."

"I heard that.  I looked you up too, son."

Xander gave him an evil grin and let his hormones spike.

"X, you mind?  I can't eat when I'm thinking about pouncing, and why are you naked again?" Faith demanded.  "That makes it worse!"

Xander gave her a look.  "I only wear clothes around polite company, Faith."  She pointed at Wesley.  "He's not looking."  He skipped off, going back to his shower.

"See?" Jack asked, giving him a smug look.  Hammond was sweating lightly.  "Because of that, people want to steal the boy."

"Can we use that skill?"

"Ask Teal'c, sir.  I have no clue.  I know if he's backed up he turns into a brainless, humming, flittering, spoiling, can't even drive guy with severe hair issues."

"How does he keep from being backed up?"

"Apparently gay sex.  Since I'm only bodyguarding him, he's backed up."

The General blushed.  "Duly noted."  He looked at the house then at him.  "If we could find a lesser one, would they still be as strong?"

"Not quite.  Able to broadcast I'm not sure about.  I don't even know who to ask.  I can ask Winchester the next time I talk to him."  He finished his sandwich since he could hear Xander complaining about his clothes. "Then next time do the laundry," he called.  "Find something, Xander.  You have a closet and a half full of clothes."

"He cannot wear jammies out, only girls get away with that," Faith said from the doorway. "That half closet is full of pajama sets according to him."

"Them and Hugh Hefner," he said dryly.  "I don't care as long as he's not naked."

"That's one mansion that looks like fun."  She went to help him, whistling at the clothes.  "Damn, X.  Something about leather this week?"

He grinned.  "I look amazing in leather pants, but I'll have to get out of them at the spa."

"Wear panties."  He held up a thong, earning a dirty look.  "I didn't know they made those for guys."  He turned it around so she could see the pouch.  "Never mind."  She went back to looking, tossing over some jeans.  "There, wear those.  They look comfy."  She let him pick out a shirt while she went to give Jack odd looks.

"He's backed up," he told her.  "The spa helps with that."

"No wonder."

"You can come.  It'll help me guard him better."

"Sure."  She nodded.  "Any butt kicking, I'm there."

He smirked.  "We'll see who gets there first.   Last week it was three brothers who tried to steal him."

"Charming.  Were they going to share?"

He nodded.  "Basically, though they all claimed they're not gay."

"Unless they're going to have him in a frilly maid's costume cleaning the house...."

"He's got a housekeeper for here, Faith."

She just nodded.  "Okay then."  Xander came out buttoning a shirt.  She whistled.  "That looks nice on you."

He grinned.  "I only buy clothes that make me look hot.  It'd be a shame to ruin the hair with ugly clothes according to Sam.  Dean tries to burn the ugly things on me."

She shook her head.  "Your boys sound like a barrel of laughs."

"Now and then.  Wes, are you coming with?"

"No, I'll guard the house and have a nap on the couch, Xander."

"Okay.  We'll be back in a bit."  He looked at the General.  "I do know that there's some like me in the military already."

"We were wondering if someone like you could do like you did to the drug dealers to help a strike team get into a place," Jack told him.

"Probably.  Maybe not at the same strength unless they're *really* backed up too.  Because I was."

Jack nodded.  "Okay.  How high up the scale would possibly be in the military?"

"Probably not above a level five.  I don't know.  I know most of us don't work outside the house past level sixes and a few rare level sevens, and Ray, he's a level eight and he's a cop but he's dating another of us so he's constantly worn out."

"I see the hair didn't change the babble," Faith said dryly.  He smacked her on the arm.  "Ow!  You're stronger than you were."

He grinned.  "Wait until you see me later," he taunted.  He looked at Jack.  "I have no idea.  Hey, Ares?  Would Jack's plan work?" he called quietly.

Strife appeared, making Hammond and O'Neill both gasp in horror and back away.  "Could but the higher ups don't want any of you boys or girls in tha service," he said with an evil grin at them.  "They think it might be a bad or corrupting thing.  Like how Xan here can make totally macho guys go for the hair."  He stroked over the braid.  "New conditioner?"

Xander beamed. "The hairdresser found one that's a foam.  It means I don't miss as many spots because I can comb it in."  He gave him a hug.  "If they need that sort of help, would it be okay if I give it?"

He sent that to Ares, who also appeared.  "That's not a bad plan," he said.  "You'd have to have someone to guard you until you could release it and get sense back again."  He looked at O'Neill.  "That Hathor thing coming up?  It's the reverse of what he does.  Basically.  Hers are twisted on what his do to your mind.  Remember that."  He looked at Faith then at Jack.  "She'll make a good protege."

"Hey!" Faith said.

"That means a student," Xander said.  "I had to learn that."

She gave him a look.  "I'm not that dumb."

"I am."  He shrugged and grinned.  "But he does neat stuff that doesn't come with a stake or a sword.  Or an axe."

She rolled her eyes.  "Who're you to make that decision for me?" she demanded.

He smirked, crossing his arms over his chest.  "Ares, God of War."

"And asswiggles," Xander said in her ear, making her give him a horrified look.  "He does.  I caught him dancing."

Ares gave him a dirty look.  "I got laid better than you did that night."

Xander gave him a hug.  "Of course you did.  My hormones can't compete against the Godliness.  After all, Cupid had to get it from somewhere to be so hot."  Strife snickered, nodding.  He grinned at Ares.  "If they need me, do I have permission?"

"You do.  As long as they guard you.  O'Neill, if they need that, you go with him.  I know you're going to get him back.  Even if Jackson does think Xander's ideas would be a good one."  He looked at him.  "Behave."

"Why?"  Strife cackled, disappearing with a crack of light.  "He likes it when I'm naughty."

Ares shook his head.  "Practice later, Xander.  I need you to stay in practice."

"I do it every other day."

"Good.  Do it tonight.  Impress O'Neill."  He looked at Hammond.  "There's four left, two are in Georgia, two are in Intelligence somewhere.  All below level threes."  That got a nod.  "You can ask, I don't know if it'd help them or if they'd agree.  That is a personal topic that can get them taken if they're known about.  GHS are prize status symbols."

"Concubines always have been," he agreed.

"His guy Teal'c said that he'd heard of us."

"Yeah, a few with the same problem got taken to his people too."   He patted him on the head.  "Take the SUV so you've got room and Faith doesn't have to ride in the trunk.  She looks flexible but not that way."  He disappeared.

Xander pointed.  "I'm an anchor."

"I see," Hammond said.

"The tattoos," Jack said.  Xander beamed and nodded.  "The sword?"

"I trained at one of his temples off realm.  It helped me grow up faster."  He looked at Faith.  "Can you get me the other set of keys on the board?  I got the porsche's."  She nodded, taking the others.  "You cannot outright ask them," he said quietly.  "If others hear, they're in danger.  A hell of a lot of danger.  Even if they haven't been twigged to by demons, they're going to be taken by someone."

"I know someone who might know who to ask," Hammond said.  "If we need you, I'll ask Jack to come to you."

Xander beamed.  "Okay.  Be safe today.  It's a horrible day up there according to Strife."  He groaned, heading back to base to see what the problem was this time.  He looked at Jack.  "Sorry."

"Not a problem.  It makes me less paranoid to know that someone beyond those who want you are watching over you."  Faith came out with the keys.  "Thanks."  He took them.  "To the SUV, kids."

"It's in the spare garage," Xander said.  Jack nodded, going to pull it out.  "Did you get the wallet?"  Jack groaned, going to get it out of the safe.  He grinned.  "The temple was *way* happy making.  All the young ones in training, the sparring, the grumpy priests who kept scowling even when I was being impressive, but they were good to me.  They kept people from taking me there too.  Plus I spent a lot of time learning at Cupid's temple and helping Strife and Aphrodite with stuff."

"That's actually pretty cool," she admitted.  He grinned.  "We'll talk later.  When you're not due somewhere.  What're we doing?"

"Massage."  Jack came out with the wallet and went to get the SUV out of the garage.  She gaped at it.  He shrugged.  "Dean wanted me to get something hipper but kinda protective."

Jack got out of the front, going to look in the trunk.  "There's a light saying something's open."

Xander looked then pressed on something, listening to it click.  "It likes to stick sometimes."  Jack opened it and moaned then closed it and made sure it was closed.  Xander checked another one.  Jack whimpered but closed it too.  They closed the trunk and Xander got into the back to show Faith the game system and stuff.  She gave him odd looks.  "We picked it out together while waiting on the house to close."

"Uh-huh.  How did you get the porsche?"

"I won it from the same sheik I won the resort from during a baccarat game."

"I remember you doing impossible shit, X.  But that's just too much."

Xander grinned. "It came with the hair."

She cackled, shaking her head.  "That's good to know.  I'll have to trim mine before it gets infected."

"As long as your hormones don't spike you should be fine," Jack assured her, backing out of the driveway and onto the street.  He headed for the spa, letting the two young people chat and catch up, plus Xander make her relax.  She looked like she had snapped and was trying to come back.  Xander was good at making people think he was harmless and could help them.  Look at all the people who wanted him for that skill.

***

Faith looked around the room he said was hers then at Xander.  "It's huge.  We can split it if others show up."

"Why?  They stay in the ones downstairs or in my room.  This way you'll have a space that's all yours.  Somewhere you can retreat to and hide when you want to think.  Somewhere to be Faith's place.  That way you don't feel like a guest that gets the pretty sheets."  He looked around.  "Let's see.  You'll need curtains, a bed, a dresser.  A rolling clothes rack since there's no closet or something to act like a closet."  He looked at her outfit.  "I know you only have the one so we can fix that too.  It'll keep me from shopping for more sex toys later."  Jack groaned from the stairs and walked back down them.  "You'll need something like a radio for when you're having downtime and don't want to spend time with us."  He looked around again.  "Maybe a few lamps too so you don't have to use the overhead light.  Or maybe I'll change that to a better light if I can get unbacked up for a bit.  That's not that hard."

"X, you don't have to go to that much trouble.  Just get me a cot or something."   He turned the most horrifying pout and puppy eyes combination on her.  She knew she wasn't a strong woman.  She hadn't been a strong woman in a long time.  A fighter, a scrapper, a surviver, but the sort of strength to withstand that look... maybe not even saints and nuns had that sort of strength.  "Maybe a dresser and a lamp," she groaned, trying to look away because he made it *worse*.  Somehow it got worse.  She wanted to hurt herself for ruining his plans.  "Fine.  Let's hit Sears or Wal-mart."

He giggled.  "Like I shop at Wal-mart most of the time, Faith.  Not anymore."  He took her arm and walked her out.  "What colors do you like?  It'll be easier to pick out drapes and stuff if we know what colors we're looking at.  Then we can concentrate on thicker or thinner and the style."

"Curtains are curtains, X," she said.

He cackled.  She was beginning to see how that was a bad sign.

***

Faith found Jack in his room later that night, flopping down on his couch, giving him a tired look.  "I'm sorry I made him shop.  I know it's a punishment for bad behavior before.  Maybe for being a bad slayer."

"Nah, it's just him and his hormones," Jack promised, getting her a bottle of water.  "What happened?"

"Stores.  Oh my God I can't even count the stores yet.  My brain is fried.  I haven't seen so begging shopkeepers or bowing people since some crown prince guy visited Boston to pick up an Irish hooker."

Jack laughed.  "They like him around here.  He spends a lot of money.  Often."  He sipped his beer.  "He done and napping?"

"He's changing my light."

"Did he turn off the fuse?" he asked, starting to look worried.

"You have to turn off a fuse?"

Jack ran out.  "Xander, did you turn off the fuse?" he yelled as he ran.

Faith grabbed the beer to finish off.  She needed it and she was *never* shopping with Xander again.  Unless he gave her the dreaded puppy eyes and pout.  Because she still couldn't withstand that.  The lights dimmed and she groaned, going to see if Xander needed CPR.  Jack didn't seem worried so she gave up and went to hang up clothes.  Xander woke up with a gasp. She looked back and pointed.

"Don't worry about it," Jack ordered.  "Special GHS stuff."

"Okay then.  Just don't let him pout at me ever again?"

"I can't dodge it either," he said dryly.  He looked at the lights then went to find the fuse box so they could fix it.   Before Xander zapped himself to death again.

***

Dean walked into the house, staring at the woman in the kitchen.  "Who the fuck are you?" he demanded.

"Faith."  She ate a bite of her sandwich.  "Xander's in the GHS tub as he calls it."

Sam walked in and stared at her.  "You're...  In one of his pictures on his dresser."

"I saw that and it's a crappy shot, guys.  Let me guess, Dean the sturdy and Sam the softer side?"  She ate another bite.

"Not always," Dean said dryly.  "Why're you here?"

"We heard from Sam about what happened with B.  I woke up.  Wesley decided it'd help me more to be here and you guys could use the help guarding X."

Xander squealed and pounced, driving Dean to the floor.  "You're back!"

"X, naked in front of me is still giving me flashbacks," she complained, shaking her head when he pulled Sam down to cuddle and kiss him too.  It was a really hot living porn picture.  She hadn't realized she liked gay boys going at it, but that did look good.  Three well-built young men....  All they needed was her in the middle.  She blocked out that thought because it was wrong.  She wasn't bad girl enough to need three men.  Even if they were hot together.

"Missed us?" Sam teased.  Dean was still wheezing.

"Yes I did.  Jack's great but not you two and he doesn't like to help me shirt shop."  He kissed them both, looking back at the door.  "No Dad?"

"He'll be here in a few hours," Dean said, coughing so he could catch his breath.  "At least you ate while we were gone."  He shifted and Xander mugged his mouth, making him groan and grab a handful of ass to squeeze.  "Not on the floor," he said when he had control of his mouth again.  "Bed, tub, not on the floor in front of others."

"That's Faith.  She's a slayer and she broke me in for girls."  He wiggled up so he could pull them up and into the tub with him.

"I've had sex toys that were smaller than that guy," she said, finishing her sandwich.  She got up to close the door, looking at the dog.  "The master's out of the tub, Bogart."  It growled.  "I know you're possessed.  We'll fix you later.  Go bark at the daddy again."  He ran to do that.  She closed the door and went up to the converted attic room Xander had done for her.  Well, he had dragged her on a whirlwind tour of four stores and then the sheet store, the music store, a lamp store or two - she got lost in there because they all looked the same at that point, and another six stores to find all the stuff she'd like.  He had even tried to get her a stuffed animal.  It had been a surreal journey that still made her head hurt to think about.  Jack's too since he had constantly complained the whole trip.  It was a huge attic, plenty of head room.  Pretty quiet so she didn't have to hear more than the occasional squeal of pleasure.  She turned on her stereo to block out the squealing and settled in to read for a bit.  It'd be a while before they got up.  Jack knocked then came in.  "Sam and Dean are back."

"Wonderful.  Where are they?"

"They were in the GHS tub."

He groaned.  "I checked.  So they're missing."

"Maybe it goes with why the dog's possessed," she quipped.  They heard them return with a thump and then the sound of rushing water.  "Sounds like a pipe broke."  It got shut off and Xander was yelling in some language.  "That's the quarth's language.  They're sex demons who're kinda like Xander but they bond to a master."  She went back to reading.  If they needed her help, they'd yell for her.

"Jack, make the stupid ass demon go away!" Xander yelled.  "I can't get Sam free!"

They both sighed and went down.  Faith got the demon who had tied up the boys.  Jack got the boys untied.  Xander worked on the broken pipe before the bathroom and house flooded more.  The demon died with a scream of pain.  The boys groaned as they woke up.  Xander finally got the pipe fixed and sealed back together somewhat.  They looked at each other.  "Gee, X," Faith said dryly.  "Have fun?"

"Fuck no."  He glared at the dead demon.  "Can you take it out back to barbeque it?"

"Sure."  She picked it up and carried it out, tossing it into the burn barrel.  She lit it on fire, watching as it kept going.  One of the neighbors peeked over the back fence, giving her a disapproving look.  "It attacked Xander," she said dryly.  "Still not human so no cops'll take it."  A DPP officer showed up.  "Want him?"

"Fine."  He took the burn barrel and the dead demon to present to his family.  Then he came back to see what had happened *this* time.  Faith cleaned her hands and threw her shirt in the wash since it had purple blood on it.  She went back up to her room while Xander fussed over his boys.  Jack had fled at the first kissed booboo.  She answered the door when it was knocked on, giving the older guy there a look.  "Hey."

"Who're you?"

"Faith.  The slayer Faith."

"The boys?"  He'd leave that discussion for later.

"Being babied after they got snatched and knocked out."

"Of course.  Xander?"  Xander came out to the hallway.

"And you complain about me running around naked," he said dryly.  "Hi, Bobby."

"The boys okay?"

"They're fine.  So is Faith.  Wanna come help me fix the broken line?"

"Sure."  He walked around Faith.  "Nice to meet you, miss."  He wouldn't let himself stare at her nakedness.

She closed the door and gave him an odd look.  "Way too polite to be normal," she decided, going up to put on a clean shirt.  She came down and found Jack staring at another guy.  "He's in the pictures on the dresser."

"This is John Winchester," Jack told her.  "Sam and Dean's dad."

"They're brothers?"

"Adopted," Jack said dryly.  "I asked Xander."

"Ah!"  She nodded, then shrugged.  "It's all good to me even if they're not.  I won't have to look at retarded babies from gay boy sex."  She walked back to the kitchen.  "Xander's getting help waking up the boys and fixing a broken pipe since the demon took them and the tub this time."

"Sure," John agreed, pointing.

"Faith."

"The slayer?"

Jack nodded.  "They sent her to Xander to help her heal."

"Okay."  He closed the door.  "How was it?"

Jack gave him a slightly insane sounding chuckle.  "You didn't warn me that they'd take me too."

"Sorry."

"I've had worse," he admitted.  "You okay?"

"Better."  He watched Faith walk past with food.  "You could stay and talk to us."

"Get the happy reunion stuff out of the way so I don't gag on the happiness factor.  I do not do Care Bears, Smurfs, or any other emo shitting cartoon."

John smirked at her back.  She was apparently a bit like Dean.  "Good to know."  He looked at Jack.  "Other than that, everything good?"

"The Fed thing got fixed.  The small unit of cops watching the house is still doing that for some reason even after being told to knock it off.  My former boss wants to get others to help in assault situations."  John shuddered.  "Breaking in to solve a situation would be easier if they're too happy to protest."

"Still not something I want to see."  Jack nodded at that.  "We figure anything else out?"

"One of my former teammates creeped him out because she found magic in one of his hair things."  John moaned.  "She's creeped out just as much and Xander thinks she wants to pet his hair.  He nearly hurt her trying to keep her from touching his hind end.  Faith's good at scaring off the demons.  Other than that, not much.  The boy can't still long enough to fish.  He cheered for the fights in the taped hockey game I brought over.  I got him to look at other forms of food than American.  He's learning Italian from the books.  That sword style?"

"Learned off realm."

"Yeah, sureyoubetcha," he sighed.  "Difficult?"

"So far only they seem to be able to do it."

Jack groaned.  "Sam and Dean are too?"  John nodded.  "I'm so sorry."

"It only popped out recently.  Stress and danger keeps it down.  Anything on the Buffy or Willow front?"

"I had Carter check up on her.  She fried her new computer.  Wesley, who brought Faith, said Angel checked on the story he got told about that rape and found out Xander hadn't been lying.  He basically kicked her out of LA until she got right with the end of her life."

John smirked.  "Good.  We heard she'll be here this spring sometime they think."

"Charming.  Maybe I'll be around.  If I'm not off fishing."  He smirked.  "Other than that, he's done good.  He's concentrated on his training.  He's doing the sword stripper looking stuff every other day."  John laughed at that description.  "He did the whole series for Faith over three nights.  She nearly begged.  Hell, I nearly begged but he let me tape it for Danny, who is an anthropologist."  That got a nod.  "He sent back a very long thank you letter with questions.  Is he psychic?"

"Not that I'm aware of, but with his past, there's no telling what he knows."  Xander bounced out to hug him.  "The boys knocked out again?"

"The pipe's fixed.  Bobby knew how to link the two sections back together."  He grinned at Jack.  "Are you staying tonight?"

"I only live a few miles away so I'll head home tonight, Xander."  Xander pouted.  "Do not do that at me, Xander.  I will spank.  Or don't you remember me doing that the last time you pouted at me?"

"That was mean," he said.

"Then quit acting like a toddler."  He smirked at him.  "Also, have him call Steve with you or whoever's handling it locally.  He called earlier and said so."

"Yes, Jack."  He beamed at John.  "I made it a month!"

"I can see that.  You didn't lose much weight and you look good."  Xander grinned.  "Go pounce the boys."

"Bobby said I can't do that in front of him anymore."

"We would appreciate that," John agreed.  "Take them to your bathroom, Xander."  He nodded, going to do that.  Dragging Dean by the wrist and Sam following, waving at them.  He shook his head, looking at Jack again.  "What did Faith need?"

"Someone to show her where the line was and help her find it again.  Buffy threw a living person at her during a battle and she staked him.  The someone led her over."

John nodded.  "I know a few who've been that way.  I'll more than happily talk to her if she wants to."

"Good."  He clapped him on the arm.  "Let me go pack.  If you need me again, tell me."

"Jack, I left you a bonus in the study," Xander called.

"Thanks, kid."  He looked at John again.  "He's a good boy but he needs better coping strategies for when he's backed up," he said quietly.  "The whorehouse run was a bit of fun though.  Had to pull him away from the women twice when they stole him because a cop asked them to and then tried to keep him."  He walked off to find the envelope and then to his room.  Xander had given him a nice bonus.  He came down the stairs.  "It's too much, kid."

"Shut up, he's busy," Dean called.  "Complain some other day, O'Neill."

"Fine," he said, walking out shaking his head.  Even though he was smiling.  He called Danny.  "They're back.  Want a pizza?"  He smirked.  "That'll work.  Meet you there."  He hung up and drove to the place the rest of the team was eating at.  Sam grinned at him.  He sat down.  "I've got to find a way to the bank tomorrow.  Kid gave me a bonus."

"He seemed nice," Sam offered.  "Frustrating but nice."

"He still thinks you're uptight and you want his hair."

She shrugged.  "I can't see how women have hair like that, much less men.  That's just...too much."

Daniel smiled.  "You should see the storytelling dances he got taught, Sam."

Jack looked at him.  "Are you possessed or evil, Danny?  That's mean."

"Very," he said with a grin.  "But no, I'm not.  They ever fix the dog?"

"Yeah, it's unpossessed now.  Bogart is very sorry he nearly bit the human owner and has been laying with his daddy each and every chance he gets so he gets forgiven."

"Good."  He sipped his beer.  "Hammond's looking for you."

"My number hasn't changed."

"He didn't want to make Xander storm the mountain looking for you if and when something happened."

"The Winchesters are home now."

"Good.  Call tomorrow?"

"I can do that."  He got his own dinner and beer, settling in to eat and enjoy the company.  He had had fun with Xander.  He had met demonic species so strange that even alien classifications were too little for them.  He had met a few nicer demons.  He had seen some strange things, like Xander's hair standing on end when he had taken him to the science museum.  Xander was fun, but hell on the nerves.  It was nicer to be retired again.  Though, it was nice the alien demons hadn't shot at him.  That had been a great change from his usual trips off planet.  Xander's trips even usually came without mud and camping.  Even if they did come with harem gear he was never going to think about waking up in ever again.  He listened to Daniel go off on the symbolism of the dance Xander had learned.  "Didn't make you hot?" he teased.

"I can detach myself from my physical responses so I can still think, Jack."

"You should see it in person."

Daniel smirked back.  "Not until I've prepared myself for a few weeks."

Teal'c looked at him.  "I would like to see these dances.  My people do not have any."

"I've got tapes at home," Daniel told him.

"We can head back there after here," Sam agreed.  They finished, waiting on Jack to finish his dinner, then went back to Daniel's place to watch the tapes.  Even Teal'c broke and went to have some alone time after a few minutes of the first tape.  They'd have to see it live sometime.

***

Dean woke up, looking at the boy on the bed, then around.  Something was wrong.  He got up, grabbing his gun off the bedside table, sneaking out slowly.  He saw Faith on the stairs, getting a shrug from her and a point.  "Demon?" he mouthed.  She shook her head.  They headed that way together, finding someone outside the garage.  "Freeze," he ordered, pulling up his gun.

"CSPD."

"I don't give a damn.  Move and I'm blowing your brains out," Dean ordered.  The guy froze and put his hands up.  "Why did you break onto the grounds?"

"We're sitting surveillance, sir."

"Illegally," Faith said.  "Your department told you to stop it."  He glared at her.  "Keep it up."

"We know that young man is doing something evil for the money he has."

"Not anymore.  He retired after five weeks."  Dean nodded at Faith.  "Call."  She jogged inside to get the phone, bringing it back out talking to the 911 dispatcher.

"Yeah, claims he's a cop sitting surveillance even though we know the people who were being idiots were stopped," she said.  "No badge openly worn.  Nothing to prove it.  Please.  We're around the back of the main garage."  She hung up and looked at him.  "You're in deep anyway, buddy.  Feel damn lucky Xander's not here himself."

John came out with a shotgun.  "Dean, we good?"

"Go let the cops in, Dad."

He nodded, going to do that.  Two cruisers pulled up.  "Around the back of the garage, guys."  They looked at the shotgun.  "In case he tries to get into the house.  It's loaded with rock salt.  It won't kill him but it'll sting like a bitch."

The officers nodded at that, going around to the back.  One of them coughed.  "Mr. Winchester, please back off?"  Dean backed off five steps and lowered his weapon to his side.  "Thank you, sir.  Holster it?"  Dean put it into his back waistband, getting a nod.  "Good enough, thank you."  He looked at the guy, wincing when the outdoor lights came on.  "Hmm.  You are in Vice."

"We know he's doing something wrong."

"To be totally truthful," Xander said quietly as he and Sam came out.  "I spent five weeks finding myself at a brothel in New York."  The man gaped.  "During that time, I had seventeen clients who paid me over a hundred grand.  After that, the hormones were fully blown open.  That's why I got offered the contract and my hormones drew them in.  When I left, I was one of the most wanted and courted things ever.  That's when they put me with the Winchester clan and they protected me for a good long time.  Since then, I've had things that have gifted me, showered me with stuff, and some that steal me and I come home wearing pretty things.  Yes, others do know, including the department.  Before you want to start yelling, I also did a privacy spell so I don't have to hear the neighbors nag tomorrow morning about more than the lights."

The officer swallowed.  "Five weeks?" he demanded.

"I made approximately eleven million in cash, gems, and gold girl's jewelry for some reason.  My very last one went for nearly a hundred grand before the curse hit me.  Plus tips.  That was my cut of it.  I made forty percent."  The man swallowed.  "So no, I don't do anything bad anymore.  Before the road trip, I worked and protected others.  Then my friends became bitches and the one tried to accuse me of rape even though I was in another state.  Since then, I've mostly stayed so backed up I can't balance my checkbook.  How do you guys think I'm managing to run an evil empire?"

"You play cards with drug dealers."

"Yeah, I like playing cards and they need their wallets lightened so they can't move in as much product.  The chief is very amused and told me that it was fine as long as my keeper agreed but he wanted me to be safe so I couldn't be hurt."

The officer swallowed.  "The new girl?  We think you're training her to take over."

"Faith is an old friend who needs some breathing room.  We had a pretty similar upbringing."  Faith gave him an odd look.  "You never got to hear anyone go off on the drunks that raised me?"  She groaned.  "Or anything else?"

"Not like Red liked me, Xander."

"Good point.  Let's just say that there's a good reason why I put up with Buffy and Willow for years."

She nodded.  "That's a trap many kids fall into.  Saw it a lot."  She looked at him.  "If you must know, I woke up from a coma before coming out here."

"We know there's a warrant for your arrest, ma'am."

"Really?"

"For killing an assistant mayor."

She glared at him.  "He was shoved at me during a fight.  It was an accident."

"Not our call to make."

"No but I can make a very good one to get her an excellent attorney," Xander offered, looking at her.  "You shouldn't have to, Faith."

"If I gotta go, I gotta go, X.  That's part of paying for my shit.  You and Wes made me see that."

He nodded.  "Let me call a lawyer first?"  The officer nodded at that.  Xander summoned out the phone, making the officer shriek.  "Shut up.  It's less impressive than me pulling my sword."  He called the number he had for Angel.  "It's me.  How's the law firm thing going?"  He smiled.  "Because there's a warrant for Faith having the assistant mayor shoved at her, Angel.  Yeah.  I'll fund it, not an issue."  He smiled at her.  "He'll send one out tomorrow.  Can she turn herself in?  She won't leave the house tonight."

"We'll be watching."

"No you won't," the responding officer told him.  "The whole PD was told to end this surveillance.  You're in violation."  He looked at him.  "We will be sitting one on the street since one of the drug dealers did get out."  Xander nodded at that.  Faith nodded too.  "Get breakfast, come see us as soon as the lawyer gets here."

"I can do that."  She looked at Xander.  "You don't have to."

"Shut up, Faith."  She glared at him.  He glared back.  "It's not right that she shoves the guy at you while you're defending yourself from being attacked.  She should be paying, not you.  Yours was a mistake in the heat of battle.  Hers was stupidity and not warning you."

"That may be but it was my stake."

"Then we'll deal.  Not like I can shop all the money away anyway."  She smirked at that.  "Really."  He listened to Angel again.  "Thanks, man.  Yeah, home.  By tomorrow.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "He'll be flying in by seven.  He has one he can talk into it."  She nodded.  "He's pretty decent.  One of the former Wolfram and Hart's people."

"Good enough for me.   I was expecting a public defender."

Xander shrugged.  "They're overworked.  Leave them to the people that can't afford something.  You can."  He looked at the responding officers again.  "Do we have to keep the lights on? And can we remove the surveillance gear?  It creeps me out thinking that they're wacking off to me having sex."

"We can," he agreed.  "We'll do that tomorrow, Mr. Harris."  That got a nod.  "Let me get him back to the office to be screamed at.  My partner will be on the street."  He walked him off.  His partner nodded and went to sit on the street.  The outdoor lights got turned off as soon as they left the gate.

"X," she started.

"Shut up, Faith.  Let me do this for you.  If I had jumped earlier, you never would've went to the mayor."  He walked off, going to sulk in bed.

"We know it's hard when you have pride, but it can only help you," Sam told her.  "If you're serious about paying for the mistakes you made there's better ways than being in a cell."

She nodded.  "Thanks, Sam."

"Welcome.  Let's go back to bed."

Dean nodded.  "Let me do a turn around the yard."  That got a nod and he did that with his father.  Then John went back to bed and Dean went to talk to Faith since she was in the living room.  "He does it because he gives a damn."

"It's still my fight."

"He's giving you what you need to fight and find a better way to atone."  She looked at him.  "Will sitting in a cell really help anyone?  There's ways of getting you therapy without it and there's plenty of ways of helping you find your footing that don't come with someone shoving you all the time to follow a schedule that's nearly unnatural.  Plus think about your skills in prison, Faith.  You might hurt someone else when you're jumped."

She slumped, nodding.  "I can see that happening," she admitted.  "I don't like that about myself."

"Then we'll get you help.  Like Xander said, he has more than enough.  We have contacts with other hunters.  There's got to be someone out there who can do shrink duty.  Someone who can put you on the straight and narrow again.  Then you'll atone by saving others."

She sighed, nodding.  "Good point.  Thanks, Dean."

"Welcome, Faith.  It'll be fine.  Maybe a night or two while they wait for a bail hearing."  She grimaced.  "It happens.  You should've seen it when Sammy and I went to prison to fight the evil bastard trying to take it over."  She gave him a horrified look.  He nodded.  "Yeah.  Got that fixed with some contacts after we got Xander so they're not after us."  She slumped, grinning slightly.  "It'll be okay.  Xander said so and if he has to he'll go hormone the judge or something."

"I can see him doing that."

He nodded.  "So can I.  Sometimes he gets wild hair up the ass syndrome.  Sammy too."

"He did back in high school too.  He came to me trying to get me to come back.  I nearly choked him."

Dean nodded.  "You felt protected, Faith.  It's a great thing."  She gaped.  "He explained it to me earlier.  We've never heard some of the Sunnydale stuff."

She swallowed.  "And you trust me?"

"As much as I do anyone who's not family."  He grinned.  "Go to bed.  You'll want the rest."  She nodded, going up to do that.  He went back to Xander's bed because it was huge and warm, plus he was comfortable being snored on by him.  He had almost missed being snored on and hearing the yelp when he laid on his hair.  This time he had to yelp and disarm Xander's hair for him since he hadn't.  "No hairpins in bed.  I'm not into that freaky shit, Xander."

"Quit, it'll snarl," he muttered.  "Weapons for when they come again."

Dean snorted.  "If they come again I'm going to shoot them.  No hairpins in bed unless you play that way with Sammy."  Xander shifted to land on his shoulder, cuddling up.  "Better."  He laid down, getting comfortable.  Yup, the being snored on thing was nice.

"I don't like the hairpins in bed either," Sam called from his room.  "I'm not into pain."

"Shut up, boys," John called.

All three men looked up when Faith laughed.  She'd get used to them.

Xander let out a loud, echoing belch then sighed in relief.

"Gas medicine's in the bathroom cabinet," John and Sam called from their rooms.

"He'll fix it later," Dean called back.  Xander let out another one then sucked on his neck.  Dean got up to get the medicine and make him take it since it was one of those dissolving strips.  Just putting it on his finger then letting Xander suck it off worked very well.  Even if Xander did make some disgusted faces.  He climbed back in and got comfortable behind Xander.  He  liked that Xander would roll over in a few minutes to cuddle him.  He could be across the foot of the bed and Xander would move toward his warmth.  Of course, if he thought you were running away from him, he'd bite.  Dean tried to be quieter when he yelped but Sam and Faith's laugh came through clearly.

***

John looked at Dean's neck the next morning then at Xander.  "Should we put a mini-fridge in your room, Xander?"

Xander gave him an adorably confused look.  "Huh?"

He pointed at the bite mark.  "Before you turn into a cannibal and take his head off with your teeth?"

"He thought he was escaping and bit him for it," Sam told him from behind his coffee cup.  He took another drink then put it down.  He pushed Xander's soda closer, getting a happy boy grinning at him and a kiss before it got inhaled.  Dean poured him some more before sitting down with his breakfast.  They had made Xander conform to Winchester hours this morning.  Someone knocked so John went to get it.  Sam looked.  "Is that the lawyer?"

"It's the neighbor."  He looked at her.  "Sorry about the lights, ma'am.  We found someone sneaking onto the property."

"It was in the papers this morning," she said, holding it up.  Police Officer Arrested For B&E in Upscale Neighborhood.

"His people brought him in.  We stopped him then called."

She huffed.  "The lights?"

"So we could make sure he was the only one," John assured her.  "We turned them off as soon as they took him away.  I can see if there's a less bright bulb that can go into those."

"Please do."  She stomped off.

John closed the door.  "Or you could buy real curtains that block out the light," he muttered as he walked back to the kitchen.  Faith came down the stairs.  "He said he'd be here in an hour."

"I should try to eat."

"You should," he agreed, handing her his plate.  She smiled weakly.  "Request to be put into solitary, Faith.  It'll make you safer."

"Bend a bar in front of them," Dean agreed.  "Point out you can hurt someone but you don't want to."

"Won't that look bad?  Solitary is for bad things."

Xander shrugged.  "If you ask for it and your lawyer says that, it shows that you're worried about your skills coming out to hurt someone."

"Again," she finished.

"That was still an accident, Faith."

"What judge is going to believe that?"

John looked at her.  "You'd be surprised."

"In LA especially since they have such a large demon population.  They even have someone on the City Council."  She gaped.  He nodded.  "Really."  Someone rang the bell from the gate and Xander went to the panel.  "Yes?"

"Sir, Lindsey McDonald.  Angel sent me."

"Enter."  He opened the gate for him then closed it afterward.  He walked out to meet him, staring him down.  "Let me make this clear.  I want you to work in Faith's best interest.  Not the best interests of Wolfram and Hart.  Not Angel's or Buffy's.  Faith's."

"Agreed.  Our senior partners don't really have a desire over her at the moment.  They're trying to decide what's best for the company's interests.  If we move fast enough that should counteract any moves they make."

"It was an accident."

He nodded.  "So Wesley told me.  Is she inside?"

"Yes.  The cops are waiting on her to turn herself in."

"That's a good sign."  He walked in there with him, looking at Faith.  "Miss Lehane, I'm Lindsey McDonald.  I'm with Wolfram and Hart, but Angel and I are uncomfortable allies now and then.  As it suits me," he admitted.  She nodded once at that.  "Mr. Harris has made it clear he's going to give me to one of his suitors if I act in any interest other than yours."

"Thank you."

"Let's talk and hear what happened.  There's a good chance we can plea down to probation or something."

"Use the study," Xander ordered.  "There's notebook paper if you need it under the printer."  He nodded, walking her in there.  Xander refilled her plate and brought it to her with some coffee, giving her a hug before closing the door on his way out.  He sat down, giving Sam a look.  "Is she going to be okay?"

"She'll be fine," he promised. "Wolfram and Hart's a huge company with some very good lawyers."

"Who work for the wrong side," Xander told him.  "That's why I made sure he was working in her best interests."

Sam nodded.  "Sounds like a good idea."

"So they started the evil lawyer stereotype?" Dean asked.

"Yeah.  The senior partners are all seriously high demons."  Dean and John both moaned.  "They're Angel's archenemies.  From what Cordelia said Lindsey uses Angel to get him out of trouble when he gets in too deep but he'll act in his best interests.  Though he's right.  A few of the new suitors have hellhounds and things I'll feed him to."

John patted Xander on the back, handing over the jelly.  "Have some sugar, Xander."  He grinned, loading up his toast so he could nibble.  Lindsey came out.  "We're all in here."

He walked in there.  "What do we know about Sunnydale's PD?"

"All corrupt to the old mayor and the system.  I'm not sure if Faith would get a fair shake from them since the mayor basically adopted her.  One's so dirty he tried to keep Buffy under charges when they found out the guy she killed was a robot who had been trying to hurt her and her mother."

"Damn," Sam said in awe.

"Most of them won't investigate anything unless it would further the mayor's plans.  They certainly don't answer domestics, especially at night.  They write off the homicides and disappearances with casual disregard for believability.  How many wild animal attacks and gangs on PCP can you have in a year?"

Lindsey sneered.  "That's wonderful.  It could help us a lot.  Do they have a CSI team?"

"They barely have detectives and an ME.  The Initiative's people were better suited to investigating and they didn't."

"Very interesting.  That could help a lot."  He walked back in there to talk to her about how much evidence they had.  Unless they had her doing it on film it was questionable at best.  All the vampires who saw were probably dead.  All the other demons too.  The mayor was if he had witnessed it.  That made it her word against Buffy's about whether or not it was accidental or intentional.  They could even make it look like Buffy had done it but not charge her.  Reasonable doubt was enough.  They'd paint it as a friendly fire incident.

Xander came in before they left, handing Lindsey something, getting a gasp for the check.  "Your fee."  He looked at her.  "I know it feels like you're not being punished, but think, Faith.  You've been punished since you got called," he said quietly.  "Yeah, he died and it sucks, but you're going to die right back protecting someone some day.  Not to mention that he was one of the bad guys, even if he had a change of heart."

"He was being blackmailed."

"There's a choice there, Faith.  He could have walked away.  He didn't have to go on that assault that was pretty clearly a setup."  She gave him a look.  "You don't send a vampire legion out to take on two slayers at once in a well-lit alley.  You don't do it anywhere someone would overhear and come running.  You also lead them into an ambush.  These weren't minions.  These were higher level vamps.  They had more brains than that.  Even I did before that possession."

She nodded.  "You think he set us up?"

"I think the mayor did.  Or Trick did.  Take your pick."

She considered it.  "He was still being blackmailed.  He thought he was helping."

"Faith, he knew you were a slayer.  The mayor's records noted that he knew you were a slayer.  That guy's files did too.  He researched the group."

"Hell," she muttered.

"It's not like he was a little kid.  He made his choices.  Buffy made her choices.  You made yours.  Yes, you deserve some punishment, but your life's already been to hell. You do what you have to protect yourself."  She nodded.  "That way you can come back to the girl you were before the group ragged on you too much."

She kissed him on the cheek.  "Sometimes you say some really wise stuff, X."

He grinned.  "Of course I do.  It comes from my butt...."  She laughed and swatted him.  He looked at Lindsey.  "Should she ask to be put into solitary for her strength?"

"That is one thing that might look very good.  We'll try."  He looked at her.  "Ready?"

Xander went up to pack her a bag, coming down to hand it to him.  "She'll need some jeans and t-shirts."

"She will."  He walked her off, taking her out to the patrol car.  "I'll be following in mine."  She nodded.  "This is Faith Lehane."

"I know, sir.  You're her attorney?"

"Yes.  Before you hand her over, I'd like to talk to the detective coming to pick her up."

"He's been in since about five this morning being very smug from what I heard."

"Toady of the old mayor, who was an evil bastard," Faith told him.  "When grad went down, the whole department was dirty, down to the janitors.  All to the mayor."

He groaned.  "Then we'll talk with my boss.  See what we can do."

"It might be easier if we put her in LA County.  It has a women's detention center," Lindsey offered.

He shrugged.  "Take it up with the boss, sir.  Ma'am, I'll have to cuff you."

"Do it in front please?  I've, um..."

He held up a hand.  "I can do that."  He cuffed her and read her her rights before putting her into the car.  Lindsey went to get his and followed him back.  He walked her past the Sunnydale cop and into his boss' office when they got there.  "Sir, there's allegations that the one picking her up is dirty."

"The whole department is," he agreed.  "I did some checking."  Lindsey walked in.  "You're her mouthpiece?"

"I am.  Lindsey McDonald.  Wolfram and Hart."

The senior cop gave him an odd look.  "Don't you guys become bigger bastards than the dirty cops?"

"Often.  Mr. Harris was quite generous to have me take on her case."

He nodded.  "I talked to the LA County prosecutor since there is apparently none in Sunnydale at the moment.  He's expediting it to be moved to his city instead."

"That would work out better.  LA has a women's correctional center."

"Good.  Cuffed in front from injuries?"

Faith picked up a golf club.  "May I?"  He switched it out and she bent it into a little folded mass.   "It'd be better if I didn't feel I had to struggle."

He looked at the mass then at her.  "That's damn impressive, miss."

"While she's here, she's worried about another prisoner making her hurt her."

"Agreed, she can be in a single cell," he decided, putting the mass of former putter down.  He looked at her, staring into her eyes.  "I hope it works out for you, child."

"I didn't mean to."

"Good.  That's the best thing about beating yourself up."  He nodded at his officer.  "Book her into a single cell until we can get jurisdiction proven."  He nodded, taking her to do that under Lindsey's watchful gaze.

He came back ten minutes later.  "Slight issue, sir.  She was a juvie when it happened.  Late sixteen.  Her lawyer looks really giddy about that fact."

He winced.  "That could work for or against her.  They'll have to see."  He answered his phone.  "Captain Ross."  He listened.  "She did hand herself over.  She's being booked into a single cell."  He looked at his former putter again.  "That's what we're worried about since the whole department is apparently corrupt.  She might know something about that since it's said she was the protege of the old mayor and he was the corrupt one.  No, I know Mr. Harris.  Personally.  I've talked with him numerous times, ma'am.  He is not a criminal mastermind.  The boy can't balance his checkbook."  He grimaced.

"He did?  Huh.  Probably had a good reason then, but he's still not evil or in a gang.  Uh- huh."  He hung up and called someone else out there.  "Ma'am, Captain Ross in Colorado Springs.  No, we didn't since she just accused one of our better citizens of being a criminal mastermind behind the town going to hell when your state police said it was the mayor himself and he was trying to escape notice."  He smirked.  "Because one of his detectives arrested a young woman for protecting herself and her mother from a robot, ma'am.  Exactly.  No, we have a lawyer here from Wolfram and Hart for her.  Yes, them."

He smirked at his underling.  "You should also know she was a minor at the time.  Late sixteen."  He nodded.  "I think it'd be better if someone who had a clue handled the case, ma'am.  Because I'm looking at a putter that was crumpled into a six inch folded mass by the same young lady."  She stuttered something.  "Yes, I do believe she is.  Please.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Tell him she's being redistricted to LA County since Sunnydale doesn't have a prosecutor."

"Gladly."  He walked out there.  "Detective?"  He got a bored look.  "The Captain was just informed that LA County is taking over this case since Sunnydale doesn't have a prosecutor.  They'll probably be sending an amended release form."  He walked off, going to tell her that.  She gave a statement when her lawyer nodded, telling him exactly what had happened.  He groaned at it.  It wasn't pretty.  It was nice Harris had tried to help but too little too late in her case.  Now it looked like he was willing to step in again.  It might help her a lot more this time.  He finished her statement, letting her read it once it was typed so she could sign it.  He went to file it with his boss and escorted her down to a cell.  One of the monitored suicide cells.  She looked very upset.  Crappy beginnings had led to an accident that was disturbing but not that uncommon.  Lindsey got permission to sit with her for a while until they played possession tag or dinner time, whichever came first.

***

Xander walked into the station, going to the desk sergeant.  "Is it all right if I bring a newly arrested prisoner lunch?  She hasn't been arraigned yet."

"I don't know.  We'd have to check it."

"That's fine."  He handed over the bag.  "I made it all myself but the apple."  The guy smiled, checking it over.  "It goes to Faith Lehane."

"I'll send it down, sir."  That got a smile and a nod.  He handed over the note and glanced at it then took it down there to the jail guards.  "For Lehane."

"Boyfriend?"

"Not with his hair."  She looked at him.  "Lunch and a note of support."

He checked it then nodded, walking over to slide it into her cell.  He glanced at the note before handing it over too.  "From a guy with hair."

"Xander.  He's a buddy."  She took the note first, smiling at it.  Then the lunch.  It was good for her.  Better than the slop the others were getting.  She needed real food to keep herself healthy.  Because some day she'd have to face Buffy down again.  Or some other higher demon.  It was good too.  "He's a pretty decent cook.  Better than I am."  Lindsey grinned at that, eating a granola bar from his briefcase.  Finally a lawyer showed up and stopped outside her cell.  She finished up her sandwich and put the apple and chips behind her.  "A friend brought me lunch."

"I can tell."  She looked at her.  "You don't look that dangerous.  Yet your file says you're criminally insane."

Faith shrugged.  "Files can be wrong.  They got my birth father wrong since my mother guessed."  She was let in.  "Who're you?"

"LA County Prosecutor Simmons."

"Grace," Lindsey greeted.  "They gave it to you?"

"They tried to give it to the new girl but she was going off on tangents about the hype the mayor planted.  Called Harris an evil genius mastermind."

"Xander's GHS," she said quietly.

"I heard."  She looked at Faith, crossing her arms over her chest.  "I've looked over the admittedly flimsy case they have on you, Faith.  The only thing they really have is Buffy Summers' words."

"Which doesn't mean a whole lot since Miss Summers recently lied to a police department and told them she had been raped by a friend who was under a curse and in another state after she told him not to come home.  She's also become a regular at many frat parties."

DA Simmons nodded at that.  "So I've also heard."  She looked at Faith.  "I know of your calling, Miss Lehane."

"That's good.  Is it going to matter?  That's why I did my little putter demonstration upstairs.  So I'd be put in solitary and not hurt anyone."

"That's a good idea.  I know what you're capable of."

"I'm not that naive anymore, DA Simmons."

She stared at her.  "I can see you're not.  Where were you hiding?"

"Sunnydale General Hospital in the long term care ward.  I was in a coma since the night before grad.  Buffy put me in it when I attacked her."

She sighed.  "We'll work something out, Miss Lehane.  It seems like you may have been taken advantage of."  She looked at the bagged lunch then her.  "Your benefactor?"

"Mr. Harris," Lindsey said.  "He had Angel retain me personally.  Paid me this morning."

"Good."

"We would like to settle this quickly and quietly.  There are still that group out there who would love to take her out."

"So Angel told me."  She looked at her.  "Are you back to your calling?"

"Xander said he'd help me find a way to stay straighter.  Said there were other hunters who tripped a few times too."

"Hmm."  She looked at her.  "Coma?"  She nodded.  "I'll have to get the records."  She looked at Lindsey and they retreated to a corner.  "I think she'd be in danger in jail."

"The Watchers have already tried to have her killed when she was with Angel.  That's one of the reasons they evacuated her to Mr. Harris."

"Hell."  She looked at the girl then at him.  "Can Harris protect her?"

"I think they can protect each other.  I also think he's a good support system.  He needs someone to fuss over."

She considered it.  "Three years probation.  One wrong move and she's inside for five years."

He considered it.  "Year?"

"We can't go that low on manslaughter."

"It was accidental.  Man 4?"

"Man 4."  She considered it.  Then she nodded.  "Two years probation and if she screws up she's in for eighteen months?"  Lindsey smiled.  "Let's see if she'll take it."  They walked back over.  "As of this moment, I can do a decent enough deal to give you Manslaughter 4, which is accidental and not a felony.  That would give you two year's probation.  That means lifestyle and travel restrictions.  No drinking, no drugs, you'll be tested for both routinely.  No traveling without permission.  You'd have to have a job within reason.  If you screw up, you'd be in the slammer for eighteen months."

Faith slumped. "Would helping protect Xander count?"

She considered it.  "You can work that out with your parole officer.  I can have you assigned to one who also knows what happens.  No getting caught doing anything but defending yourself or him.  No patrol.  No hunting."

She nodded.  "But after two years I'm clear?"

"Very."

Faith looked at Lindsey.  "Is it a good deal?"

"It's an excellent deal."  He squeezed her shoulder.  "It's a very good deal.  The best you can get without a self defense plea."

She nodded, looking at her.  "If we're sure the judge'll agree?"

"He should."  She smiled, holding out a hand.  Faith hesitated but shook it.  "Good.  Finish lunch; I'll have you moved."

"What about the sperm sample upstairs?" she asked, picking up her apple to eat a bite.  She looked at it.  "What the fuck?  That's not a normal apple."

"It's one of the new hybrids," Lindsey told her.  "One of the people at the office has one every day.  They crossbred three types to get that one."

"Uh-huh.  What ever happened to normal red apples?"

"They go to make applesauce," he said dryly.

"No wonder."  She took another bite.  It was still pretty good, not that she'd admit it.

The DA smirked at her.  "We'll deal with him.  We have an arrest warrant waiting on him."  She went to present it to the captain.  "Sir."

"You look like a prosecutor."

"DA Grace Simmons, LA County ADA."  She handed over the paperwork.  She saw the mass of former putter and shuddered.  "Man 4.  Two years probation," she said quietly.

"That'll work but you need to warn them that Harris gets drugged and kidnaped now and then."

"I can do that."  She pointed and he smirked, having two officers go arrest the guy for them.  He screamed and ranted the whole way about Summers, Harris, and Faith being evil and trying to take over the world.  Pity the guys all knew Xander.  They all knew the only time Xander got evil was when he was backed up or playing pranks on Dean.

***

Xander looked around the house.  "We should go to the plea hearing."  John nodded.  "Can we use it to do a sale at the same time?"

Dean nodded more quickly.  "We should because your office is kinda scary again, Xander."

He pouted.  "Not my fault."

"I know."  He looked at him then at his father.  "Do we know who to go to in LA?"

"We do.  We can call ahead and warn them."  He looked at Xander.  "What about the box in Denver?"

"Um...."

"We'd have to take the SUV," Sam pointed out.  "There's no way we could carry the stuff in the office in the Impala or your truck.  The SUV has some security."

"Technically, Adam said we can fly," Xander said.  "Or fly the stones there and pick it up on the other side."

"That'll create a problem unless we can fly with it and take the cars," Dean said.  "I'm not leaving the Impala behind."

Xander considered it.  "I have no idea how this stuff works."

"We can ask Jack," Sam offered.  John tossed him the phone.  He smiled, dialing the number they had all memorized.  "Jack, Sam Winchester.  We had a question.  Xander wants to go to Faith's plea hearing and do some of the cleaning out of the office storage area at the same time."  He nodded.  "That's the basic idea.  None of us know how to move that much stuff and us to LA safely.  Sure, we're all here.  They're taking her back to LA tomorrow afternoon.  The DA I talked to said that she'd have her hearing in about three days."  He listened, taking the paper from Dean to make notes on.  "Thanks, Jack.  The cars?"  He nodded, making another note.  "We can probably do that.  Do you think we should take the stuff from the box in Denver or just the stuff in the office?  Sure, you can come see.  The safety deposit vault is in Denver but we've got way too much stuff in the study too."  He grinned.  "We're home and you can even have dinner."  Xander nodded.  "What're we making?"

"I don't care.  What do we want?  I have some beans I've been soaking for that Indian recipe but I can do the pork stuff he liked or the beef stuff."

"He said he's making something Indian with beans but he can do pork or beef, whichever one you want."  He nodded. "That'll work.  Sure, we'll be here."  He hung up. "He said the beef dish.  The caf at his old job did chicken all day."

"He's back at work?" John asked, looking confused.

"Recalled to duty," Sam said.

"Painful."  He went back to reading but paid attention to Xander going to cook.  He looked at his sons.  "How backed up is he?" he asked quietly.  Dean waved a hand in the air in a so- so gesture.  "Fix it?"

"Later," Dean promised.  "Before we go."  He shifted and called Steve and Adam on conference call.  "We're going to Faith's plea hearing and cleaning out the stuff in the office and possibly some of the stuff in the vault in Denver.  That's what we're planning with Jack later.  Thanks, Adam.  LA.  Sure, Steve.  We'll make plans and let you both know later.  Thanks, guys."  He hung up and went back to watching tv.  "They'll call the right people and Steve'll get access to the vault and money for the plane or whatever."  John nodded, grunting a bit.  Xander yelped.  "You okay?"

"Stupid knife bit me again."  It got thrown out of the kitchen.

Sam got some holy water and went to test it for possession.  It seemed to happen a lot around the house for some reason.  John came to help when he yelped but Dean ended up breaking it with one of the hammers in the armory.  Xander would get more knives.  It'd give him a reason to shop.

***

Dean looked at the entertainment cabinet, frowning at it.  It was labeled.  It was cute.  "Xander, thank you for not making my good music have to slum with Sammy's chick rock."

Sam walked in and smacked him on the arm.  "You haven't seen me listening to Enya yet, Dean.  That's chick rock."  He looked.  "He did.  Yours, his, mine."

"So mine doesn't have to mingle and possibly breed with your emo crap rock," Dean agreed.

Sam shook his head, going to hug Xander.  "Dean likes the way the tapes and CD's are sorted."

"I thought he might.  That way he doesn't play case roulette again."

Sam laughed.  Dean had that bad habit and sometimes what he opened was not what he expected when he slipped it into the player.  "We should get some more."

"There's more but I ran out of room and I couldn't decide what sort of shelving unit I wanted because I couldn't find any more like those.  I even brought in a picture from my cellphone.  Well, Jack brought it to me when he realized I was out shopping by myself."  That earned him a pinch.  "Jack's kinda uptight."

Sam took a kiss.  "Uptight or not, it could've gotten you hurt.  Then we'd be miserable."  He gave him a look, getting a grin back.  "We can decide that after we get back from LA."

Dean walked in, taking his own kiss.  "The music looks good, Xander.  Even if some of yours is strange."

"I needed stuff to get low to.  Buffy taught me how to booty shake."

Dean gave him an odd look.  "I could've sworn we taught you better than that."  Xander grinned.  That had been a good night.

"He said there's more but we need more shelving units."

"We can find some and paint them the same color."

"I can't find the same door style."

"So mix and match.  Put two with glass doors on the outside."  Xander squealed and hugged him, going to call the store he had seen those at.  Dean popped his neck and they went to wait.

"You sure you can deliver it today?  Thank you!"  He hung up and called the music store.  "It's Xander Harris.  Is my order in?  I know some was and I haven't been down to pick it up.  Please?  I'm at home.  I can send John down.  Thank you!  Getting them delivered from Mason's.  If they don't mind I wouldn't.  Sure!  Thanks," he said happily.  "Need the card number?"  He read it off and they charged the delivery fee to it for him.  He hung up and snuggled in with them.  Bogart sniffed then came in to lay across all their laps, getting comfortable.  Dean had to get up and get the door when the delivery truck arrived, showing them where they were going.  Three huge media cabinets were carried in and deposited.  Then boxes and boxes of stuff.  Then a fourth cabinet.  Xander bounced over to hug the guys and tipped them a fifty each, making them happy delivery drivers who got to be pounced by other people later from the pheromones sticking to them.  Xander dove into the boxes.  "Should we sort the movies alphabetically like we do the tapes or by genre and then alphabetically?"

John walked in and paused at the new stack of boxes and the new cabinets.  "What's that for?"

"DVDs," Sam said.

"Hmm."  He came over to open the rest of the boxes, then looked at Xander.  "Did you leave any there?"

"Of course I did.  We need them though.  We get bored and it's not like you're going to let me go to the movie theater.  We don't have a drive-in locally so I had to do it this way."  He looked at Sam and Dean.  "Which way?"

"Alphabetically," Sam decided.  "We'll pretty well know what genre it is and it's easier to find when they're in order."  Dean nodded at that.  Xander beamed and got to work.  Fortunately it was mostly packed that way anyway.

Dean pulled Xander into his lap to tease, making him calm down.  They ended up going to the bedroom while the others unpacked.

"Much lighter than books," Sam decided, coming over to help.  They filled the first cabinet then looked around. "We'll need more."  John groaned.  "Dad?"  He went to call the place and order another set while Sam moved the couch a bit to give it room. "Order ones without the doors," he called.  John grunted and said that.  They agreed it was fine and they had some there in the same shade.  They got sent and the delivery drivers got tipped again, without the pouncing this time, but it was still good to them.  Sam finally got all the tapes, CD's, DVD's, and the few albums they now had for some reason shelved, then sat down.  He looked.  There was enough room now for some decorative touches so he added a small shelf fountain on one and some small statues off the desk to another.  That was nicer.  He sat down again, sighing in pleasure.

Xander yelped.  Then he cackled.  Dean groaned.  It sounded like a normal night was starting.

***

Jack came back from planning with John, shaking his head at Daniel's odd look.  "I should've looked in the closet in the study."

"Why?"

"Xander's been hoarding presents.  They're going to Faith's plea hearing while getting rid of some of it."

"Did you plan military transport?"

"No, we found a private plane company and got a good rate to move them there.  John and Sam picked a hotel that had security.  They already talked to them about the stuff going."  He flopped down in a chair, giving him a look.  Then he held up a hand about his usual waist height.  "Box of stones this high," he said quietly.  Daniel moaned.  "Plus a few bricks of gold, silver, and one we think is platinum but no one's sure."  Daniel slumped, shaking his head.  "That's not counting the vault in Denver.  We talked to the bank and they're very happy he wants to reduce the size of the vault.  They'll send it directly to the bank in LA for them.  They'll get to evaluate it and the bank out there will send whatever doesn't sell back.  They're expecting to get a good third of it back."

"Will the shops out there be able to handle that much?"

"The guy who's the national head arranged for the shop most of the members out there go to to hold a sale with a few buyers.  They sent pictures ahead."  Daniel whimpered.  "They were happy."

"A lot of rich people are probably going to be happy.  What about the nature of where they came from?"

"They have a demon community out there and they do know.  Some of the buyers are demonic."

"Wonderful."

"The only problem is if some of his wannabe suitors decide he's doing it because he needs money."

Daniel looked at him.  "If I *ever* start to emote that way...."

"I'll make sure you get worn out better, buddy.  I promise."  He stood up.  "So they're set, they called there to give Faith that news.  They're going to be gone for four days they think.  Then they're going to deal with the probation issue as soon as she's assigned."

"Hopefully they agree."

"They should.  They're going to find one who knows what's going on too."

"Even better.  Any other cheery news?"

"I got them in touch with someone I know in LA in case they have problems out there.  With that sort of large community, it'll be a problem."  He walked off, going back to his office.  The general stopped him in the hall.  "Xander needed some planning support.  He's cleaning the storage bin of presents out of the closet while going to Faith's plea hearing."

"Do you need time off?"

"No.  They should be able to handle it.  I gave them a few names in LA in case they needed more backup."  That got a smile.  "Of course, if we *ever* need a ransom of gemstones, I'm going to Xander for help."  He went back to his hike to his office.  They had hid it down a small tunnel on him.  It showed they really didn't want him back but too many bad things happened without him.

The general shook his head.  "I feel sorry for that boy," he decided.  "No one should have that sort of problems."

***

Xander looked at the man coming in to help with the sale, giving him an odd look.  "Please don't try to kidnap me?" he begged.

The demon bowed.  "I would not.  It would be bad for business."

"Oh, good."  He relaxed.  "So I'm guessing you know what happened?"

"Indeed."  He sat down to look over the stores they had.  "This is all of it?"

Xander pointed at the bedroom behind him.  "John's guarding it."  He looked back that way.  "Guys, the jeweler's here," he called.  "He won't steal me, it's bad for business."

"Good to know," Sam said as he walked out of the bedroom.

The jeweler swallowed, bowing carefully to him.  "Samuel."

"Ease off, dude, he's not allowed to go bad," Dean said as he joined them.  He and John pulled out the other two boxes.  "This is a better workout than hauling water for camp or chopping wood."  Xander went to get the other three, floating them out.

The jeweler gaped.  Then he swallowed before getting into the boxes.  Drooling on them would decrease their value.  Someone knocked and John went to get the door.  "What are you wanting to do?"

"The vault is overcrowded," Dean said.  "Whatever you don't have sold, we need it appraised and sent back to Denver."  He sat down, pulling Xander closer.  John let the tall, pale, dark haired guy in.

"Hey, Angel," Xander greeted.  "How's Faith?"

"My source over there says she's fine and Wesley is visiting her at the moment."  He nodded politely at the demon then looked at the boys.  "There's a few of the bigger names in town who are very nervous you're here.  They think Buffy will come back."

"I spanked Dean straight, I can do it to her too," John promised.  "Coffee?"

"No thank you," Angel said.  The jewel dealer shook his head as well.  Xander got handed a soda, Dean and Sam got coffees, and he sat down with his.

"Faith okay?"

"A bit edgy but she's doing good in solitary.  One of the people said something in the hallway and Faith snarled.  They backed off."

"Good," Xander agreed.  "Let them know I'm only here to do these two things.  Maybe a bit of shopping.  I wanted to look at the big chef's store," he told John.  "That way I can replace the three knives that were possessed."

Angel gave him an odd look.  "Knives?"

Sam nodded.  "They wanted blood."

Angel shook his head quickly.  "There's three or four big shops for kitchen stuff in town.  Cordelia wanted to see you too."

"Cordy can come find me."

"I'll let her know that."  He smirked.  "Willow's still looking.  If she hears...."

"I'll beat her too," John promised.  "If she's been hacking since she was eleven or so, she needed it sooner."

"Her parents were shrinks," Xander said.  "Who never seemed to be around."

"Charming," Sam said dryly.  He grinned at the dealer.  "It's fine."

He nodded.  "It's good to set a schedule for one such as him."

Xander looked at him.  "Does anyone know anything about guys like me who've ended up running into Jack's project?"

The demon gave him an odd look.  "There are?"

"One of his coworkers knew what I was and we talked.  If so, I'm sure some are unwilling or willing to change to someone better to them."

"It might be.  I will ask.  If so, should I tell you?"

"We can tell Jack or his people," Sam agreed.  The dealer gave him an odd look.  "We had to handle things so Jack O'Neill guarded Xander for us since he was temporarily retired."

"It is something that can be looked into," he decided.  "If I cannot tell you directly, I will tell Vesvold."

"Thank you.  How is he?  I haven't seen him in weeks."

"He's been fine but the one who tried to claim you's position is open so it's been election time."

Xander stopped himself from growling.  "The one is paying?"

"Greatly."

"Good."  Sam stroked over his hair, calming him down.  "It sucks!  I thought of him and Joyce like my parents!"

"It does suck and I'd like to kick both their asses," Dean agreed.  "For now, calm down.  We'll deal with it when and if it happens."  Xander nodded, making himself calm down.  He looked at Angel.  "How's the city otherwise?"

"We're not in apocalypse season."

"That's always a good thing," Xander agreed.  He looked at the dealer.  "How do you want to do this?"

"I think we should take them to a neutral area.  I have one set up.  We'd let them come with guards.  I have some that would work or you can ask Vesvold to handle that for you."

"We can," Dean assured him.

"You'll be with him.  Making sure no one else gives him anything."

Sam shrugged. "I can take him to the kitchen stores."

"Cordelia can help guard him," Angel promised.  "They used to date in high school."

"Thank God patrol was keeping them down then," he muttered.  "Or maybe that love spell was the hormones?"

"It's possible," Angel admitted.  "It was strange."  He looked at the dealer.  "I'll help whichever one is."  Vesvold appeared, looking at Xander.  "You can but he said you've been busy."

"I have been very busy but still I yield time enough to watch over you."  He ran a hand over Xander's hair, getting a smile.  "Your dog is pouting at your neighbor."

"Sorry."

"It's not a problem."  He smiled. "I can lend him a few guards.  Faith will be fine."  Xander nodded at that.  "Are you all right?"

"The closet was getting crowded plus I need to be here for Faith.  I'm taking advantage of being here for Faith to clear out the overcrowding."

"It's noble of you," he praised.  He stroked his hair again, getting a look from John.  "I know you don't approve, Winchester.  We'll see what happens when they're all older."  He smiled at Xander, getting a small shrug.  "Good boy."  He looked at the dealer.  "They can be in charge of the guards. I will bring someone to do the carrying."  He disappeared.

Dean looked at Xander.  "He's not pushy.  That's nicer than the others who want you."

"He's a nice guy," Xander defended.  "If he wasn't a demon I'd probably have fallen but I'm still kinda wary since he is.  My history....  Even though he's not harmful and he's a nice guy and I like him as a good friend...."

Angel coughed.  "If he seriously took up with you, there's those who would see it as a flaw to be taken out of the clan."

"Which is one of my main objections.  I don't want them to kill him because he likes me and he's a really great guy."  Vesvold appeared, handing him a flower then disappeared.  "Aww."

"Sappy," Dean said dryly.

Xander pinched him.  "Some guys do good with that stuff.  Even if you don't it's okay."  He grinned.  "Sam makes up for it."

"That's a good thing.  I'd hate to be mushy.  It'd ruin all my muscles."

"Son, hoof in mouth," John said bluntly.

Sam cackled.  "Dean has his mushy moments but they're more subtle."

"That's right.  He gets me soda when I need caffeine.  He makes sure I get a good breakfast.  He helps me clean guns."  Dean nodded, smirking at Sam.  "Sam does the mushy stuff that you'd expect."  He hugged him.  "You learned well from Jess."

"Thanks, Xander."  He stroked over his hair and the boy tipped his head to get more.  He scratched his scalp gently, making Xander moan.

"No making that noise in front of others," John ordered.  Xander sighed, sitting up again.  Dean let Xander cuddle his chest.

Angel nodded at the dealer.  "Set it up?"

"For the day after her hearing."  That got a nod and he finished taking inventory before leaving.  Angel followed to set things up with Cordelia.

John and Sam gathered the stones to the more secure bedroom again then they let Dean get Xander to bed.  He was clearly getting backed up worse.  Dean could do all the unmushy stuff he wanted to cure it in private.

***

Cordelia met up with Xander at the hotel's lobby, looking him over.  "Leather to go pot shopping, Xander?"

He looked at her, nodding.  "I look good."

"You do but the hair...."

"Do not say a word about the hair, Cordelia Chase, or I'm having something cut yours."

"Fine," she muttered, coming closer.   She looked him over.  "Kitchen?"

"I'm learning how to cook.  I'm pretty good.  Want some coffee or soda before we go?"

"Aren't we waiting on someone else?  Angel said you're not allowed to go anywhere alone."

He huffed.  "You're not alone."  He smirked and walked out with her to the cab stand.  "Car?"

"Nope."

"Cabs it is then."  He grinned at her.  "Unless I suddenly end up with a car somehow."  He shook his head.  "If I think like that, I'll have it happen and have to throw a fit so no thinking about it."

"No babbling, Xander.  I haven't been babbled at in a while.  My tolerance is lower than it ever was in high school."

"Sorry."

"No reason to be nervous either.  I haven't changed.  You're the one who grew the hair."

"Someone wanted me to have the hair and I thought it'd be pretty cool.  I grew it with the self defense style that came with sword work."  He patted himself down.  "Fuck, the wallet."  He called up there.  "Who has my wallet?"  He patted himself down.  "No, I don't have it."  He concentrated and it came flying at him from someone's purse.  He looked at her then checked the ID.  "Lady, you don't look like me," he called.  She gave him a horrified look.  Someone from the hotel came over.  "Mine."  He let him see it.  She tried to run but hotel security stopped her.  The cab peeled off in a burst of tire smoke.  He sighed.  "That looks like it was a bad sign."

Hotel security came over.  "Mr. Harris, are they still up there?"

Xander called.  "Security wants to know where things are."  He nodded.  "No.  They're with the gem dealer," he said quietly.  That got a relieved smile.  "And thirty armed guards."  The security guy shuddered.  "It'll be fine."  He looked at her then back at the hotel.  "Can I have the two cases from the safe?  I think it'd be safer if I do something other than take a cab today."  He nodded, going to get them for him.  He handed them to Cordy, getting a smirk from him.  "I know, she's safer."  He nodded.  "Can we get a safe ride to 8th?"  He nodded, getting them one.

"Xander, they never bowed that way to my father," she said once they were in the car.

"I brought in six large safety deposit boxes of gems," he said in her ear.  "Look in the cases, Cordy."  She looked and squeaked.  He gave her a look.  "That's a small bit of stuff."  She gave him a look.  He smirked.  They pulled into a car dealership and got out.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, sir.  Do you need a ride later?"

Xander shook his head.  "It'll be fine.  Thank you."  He tipped him and they got out.  They saw the salesmen fawning over a star up the row.  He let her look around with him.  "Something fun but safe enough.  I have a porsche at home and an SUV."

She gave him an odd look.  "You have a porsche?"

"Won it in a baccarat game."

She rolled her eyes.  "Dumbass."

He smirked.  "Behave or I'm making you shop."

"Like that's a trial," she said dryly.

He laughed.  "You haven't been shopping with me," he said in a sing-song manner.  He pointed at one.  "That one."  She went to look, nodding at it.  She tried it on for size and she looked good in it.  He looked okay and it was decent on all the high points he'd insist on.  Or Sam would insist on.  He looked around then sighed.  "Hmm.  At least it's a major star."  He leaned on the horn and they all looked.  "Hi, I'd like this one today and I'm paying cash."  Two of them rushed over to help him.  "Sorry to interrupt, sir.  Love your work but I've got to outfit the kitchen again.  I killed too many knives learning to cook."  That got a smirk and the guy went back to picking out his options.  Xander handed over one of the briefcases.  "It'll be in her name so she can watch over it for me.  I'll be driving today."  He pulled out his driver's license.

"Of course, sir."  He took him into the office to do the paperwork.  The bundles of cash were quickly and easily counted.  "You need to go here to file the title and pay taxes."

"I can get him there," she agreed.  "Thank you.  It has an alarm?"

"It does.  It also comes with a free year of On-Star and XM radio."  They smiled at that.  "Thank you for being patient with us, sir."

"Not a problem.  I know how guys like that get fawned over even when they don't want it."  He took the keys, letting her have the briefcase back and they walked out with the paperwork.  He slid back into his sunglasses, undoing the alarm.  He slid in.  She put the briefcases in the trunk, putting three bundles into her purse before sliding in.  He made sure everything worked and they went to file the title and pay taxes, then used On-Star to find the kitchen stores.

***

Sam looked up as one of Vesvold's guards came over to where he was eating lunch.  "What's wrong?"

"Xander had to buy a car."

"He did?"

"It's in Miss Chase's name."

"Then he's spoiling her."

"There was an attempt to take his wallet and the room key."  Sam just nodded once.  "It's been stopped."

"That's fine.  As long as he's fine?"

"Quite well.  He's going to be fine we think.  It's cute, he squealed at the copper pots.  Then he went to fondle the cast iron section."

Sam smiled.  "I'll let Dad know.  Thank you."

He smiled.  "We'll let you know if they're more than petted."

"Has he been?"

"One older lady petted him and said it was good his gay boy girlfriend was so supportive."

"That's not that unusual."  The demon smiled, going back to tell his boss that same information.  Sam finished his lunch and went back to help with the inventory and appraisal.  They had to do it before they sold them off.  It'd help the tax department and the bank too.

***

Cordelia got out of the car at Angel's lair, looking across the hood at Xander.  "Did you really need the bread machine?"

"Maybe."

She sighed.  "I hope your kitchen is huge."

"Yeah, it is."

"Uh-huh."  She walked inside.  "Gunn, can Xander have some help carrying?" she called.  He came out of the office with Wesley.  "How's Faith?"

"She's doing fine.  Still edgy because it's so noisy.  She has a problem with sleeping due to that issue.  I got her a puzzle book since it was allowed.  She's keeping to herself and helping keep herself calm with it."  He came out to look at the car.  "A rental?  I thought your family brought their cars."

"They're doing the inventory," Xander said.  "Since the lady tried to snatch my wallet and the cab pulled out suddenly when that was discovered, it was safer."  He handed Cordelia the keys.  She gave him an odd look.  He tucked them down her shirt.  Then he grabbed a few things.  "Let me get a ride back to the hotel when the guys are done."

"John's coming," Wesley told him.  She pointed at her bags, getting a smile from Gunn.

"Did we have fun, princess?"

"A lot of fun.  Even if I am exhausted."  She walked inside with her bags of shoes.  "Xander, heel."

He barked but came in with her stuff.  "All yours."  He kissed her on the head.  "Go take a nap in the bathtub with the new bubbles."  She snorted.  "You can.  That's why I got you the bubbles."  She gave him a look.  "It was."

She looked at the two guys who had helped.  "I don't do a tornado through the mall anymore, right?"  They shook their heads like loyal friends.  "He did.  I'm tired.  Can you guys make sure he's not stolen by anything while I go take a nap and regret throwing him over?"

"Sure," Gunn promised.  Xander kissed her and she moaned but went upstairs to pout in the tub with the new chocolates he had made her get.  He looked at Xander.  "Are you better?"

He grinned.  "It's not nearly as good as sex but it's kinda fun."  He bounced out when he heard an engine, pouncing John.  "I got new pots and new knives and even a few new spoons."

"Good."

"And a few new machines of some sort," Gunn called.  "I have no idea what they do."

John nodded.  "We've seen that a few times."  He walked him inside.  "What else happened?"

"Nothing."

John looked at him.  "I heard about the car, Xander."

"It was necessary and Cordy needs a Princess Mobile."  John sighed, shaking his head.  "But I got all the stuff out of the car."

"Good."  He grabbed a few of the bags, looking at the names on the boxes.  "What's a bread machine?"

"You put in the bread making stuff, turn it on.  It mixes, lets it rise, then bakes it."

"Instead of using a bowl and a pan?"

Xander nodded.

"Ah."  He'd let Sammy fight that battle.  Especially since it said you could set it and leave it all day then come home to fresh baked bread.  Then again, that may be the best feature of the machine for Xander so he wouldn't have to worry about forgetting it.  He waved at them.  "Thanks for watching him, guys."  They left, heading back to the hotel.  After they left, Angel's hotel got invaded by guys wanting Xander but they managed to get them down and then sent them off with the cops since they were human.

***

Xander sat down behind Faith, giving her a smile.  "It'll be okay."

"If you're sure."

He nodded.  "I'm sure."

She turned around when the judge called the hearing to order.  "We are here for a plea agreement?" he asked.  Both lawyers nodded.  "The defendant is able and willing to make a full confession?"

"She is," Lindsey said.  He stood up.  "We know it's a bit unusual but we'd like this sad chapter to be done with so the young woman in question can heal."

He looked at him.  Then at her.  "Heal?"

"She's just out of a coma, Your Honor," DA Simmons said.

"She looks healthy."

"She spent nearly a year there."

"I see."  He read over the file they had furnished.  "Why is she in solitary?"

"We requested it based on the fact that she was worried she might hurt someone," Lindsey said.  He handed the bailiff something.  It was looked at then handed over.  "She did that in front of a police captain when asking to be separated, Your Honor."

He looked at it then at her.  "You can do this anytime you want?"

She nodded.  "I thought it might be bad if someone tried to jump me and I don't want to hurt anyone.  That's why I asked."

He sighed, putting the former putter aside.  "That's a fairly decent reason."  He read it over.  "You're willing to give a full confession?"

"As long as the records are sealed, Your Honor," Lindsey said.  The judge gave him an odd look.  "There's things that could impact hers and others' lives."

"I can see that.  Who are those in attendance?  Do they need to be removed as well?"

"I'm her friend and I've known her since she appeared in Sunnydale, Your Honor," Xander told him.  "This is my guardian."

"You need a guardian?"

"Yes, sir."

"Why?  Is it relevant?"

"Probably not but Faith's going to be joining my household to help protect me."

"It appears it is relevant."  Xander handed over a card to Lindsey, who handed it to the bailiff.  He looked at it then moaned.  "I know one of you."  He looked at him.  "Why is she helping you?"

"She's a friend and we used to be in the same situation, kind of.  The same non-paid job as well."

He nodded.  "Anyone not involved, clear the courtroom please?"  They did that.  "Miss Lehane, what is going on?"

"I'm a slayer, sir."

"Slayer?"

"Vampire slayer.  Called and destined.  Like Buffy Summers."

"Her I've heard of.  You're that Faith."  She nodded.  "I can't hold that against you."  He looked at her.  "Tell me in your own words what happened?"  She let it all out, the whole problem that happened.  He mentally sighed.  Then he nodded.  "I will have the records sealed."  He looked at Lindsey.  "Your bosses are helping her why?  You're not known for helping the good guys or those stuck in bad situations."

"Mr. Harris hired me.  My bosses are grumbling about this."  They wanted Faith on their side but it was very clear that going after Xander was a very *bad* idea for their continued life expectancies.

"Very well."  He looked at the agreement.  "I'm assuming Mr. Harris is not in LA any longer?  My friend would've heard."

"I'm in Colorado Springs."

"That's a good place.  I hear it's very pretty.  She'll be on your protection patrol?"

"While helping herself heal at the same time."

"That sounds like a good plan."

"I used to do it for Buffy."

He looked at him.  "And yet...."

Xander nodded.  "2nd roadtrip brought them out."

"Ah."  He tapped the folder a few times.  "I do think it's too light of a sentence but I will uphold the deal made.  As long as Miss Lehane knows what this means to her life?"

"Yes, sir.  We've went over what probation would entail.  I can do that, as long as if I'm attacked I can defend myself or Xander."

"That would be acceptable.  Reasonable even."  He looked at DA Simmons.  "You're satisfied?"

"I am."

"Mr. Harris?"  He got a look.  "You're willing to help her with these restrictions?"

"I am.  Even if Dean or Sam or John have a beer, it doesn't mean she'll get one.  I hardly ever drink myself.  I try to keep myself out of trouble and out of being kidnaped or attacked.  I do a lot of training to keep myself out of trouble."

"That's fine.  You can find her someone to help her work over those issues?"

"Wesley Wyndham-Pryce has."

"Good."

"There's also others who do the same job in the family.  We better than most know how easy it is to slip across the line.  John has promised to help her any way he could.  He's a hunter and raised his two sons to hunt."

"That's fine."  He looked at her.  "You will use this chance to get better?"

"As X pointed out, a slayer is punished for everything we hunt by dying for it eventually when we're not good enough."

He frowned.  "That's a bit morbid but probably true.  Very well, I'll agree to it.  I'll have someone move your probation to Colorado.  Is there someone there who would know?" he asked the DA.

"Two actually.  One's the daughter of a hunter who was recently arrested for thinking Mr. Harris made a demonic deal."  Xander groaned.  "She works in the next county but we think we can get it transferred to her.  If not, there's one closer who was a Ranger and ran into that world a few times on missions."

He nodded.  "That'll work."  He banged his gavel.  "So be it.  Two years probation and eighteen months if you mess up."

"Yes, Your Honor," she agreed, clenching her hands.

"It's not as long as you think, young lady, and if you're living a decent enough life it's going to help you anyway."  He signed it and handed it to the bailiff for Lindsey.  "When are you leaving?"

"Two days if we can," Xander told him. "If not, we can stay for a few more days."

"They'll discharge her today," Lindsey told him.  "Why two days?"

"Sale of the stuff in the closet that the thieves keep trying to get."

"Oh."  He looked at her.  "We'll get you transferred out tonight."

She nodded.  "I do have one question."  The judge looked at her.  "B...Buffy is being a bit of a bad girl right now thanks to the liquor.  If she shows up to get X...  What am I allowed to do?"

"Protect yourself and him, Miss Lehane.  As long as you don't kill her or there's a good reason, like she's going to blow you up or you're going to be killed somehow."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome.  It's an intelligent question."  He looked at them.  "Get checked out and go with them."  She nodded.  The bailiff led her off, Lindsey following to make sure there weren't any problems. "Mr. Harris, this does mean she's not allowed to handle any weapons you might have."

"The armory is locked.  Unless I need it or we're cleaning."  He shrugged.  "She never really liked more than knives anyway."

"Good."  He watched them leave.  "Lock the transcript, my eyes only."  The DA nodded at that, signing that request before handing it over.  Then they left too.

Faith came out of the jail a few hours later and found Xander sitting on the hood of the car he had given Cordy.  Cordy was inside.  She gave him an odd look.  "I'm not going to let you get that far away.  I need you to come snark with Cordy at the new hairpins that Dean doesn't like either."

She gave him an odd look.  "I'm not taking part of the harem thing."

Xander shrugged.  "Girls don't usually do it for me anymore anyway, Faith."  She gaped.  He stared back.  "Not like Dean'd let me top him."

"Damn."

"Basically."  He grinned.  "But faster healing so I'm not sore too often."  She gave him a hug and a slap on the back, getting into the back of the car.  Xander got into the front.

Cordy looked at him.  "We need to crack on the whole hair package, not just the hairpins."  She started the car and headed back to the hotel.  They found cops there.  "Gee, Xander."

He groaned.  "Please let them be okay."  He got out and a cop came toward him.  "I'm a guest staying here.  Harris.  These are friends."

He looked at him.  "Sir, we're responding to a federal warrant in your room."

"That'd be funny since they took care of that and removed it from the system."

The cop blinked at him.  "They did?"

"They did."  He walked past him, going up there.  "Excuse me," he said from the doorway.  A cop tried to grab him.  "Touch my hair," he growled.  The cop backed off.  "We have proof the arrest warrants were removed, guys.  What the hell are you doing?"

They stared at him.  "Sir, this agent said it wasn't."

"We have information saying these three men have been moving a good quantity of gems for an arms dealer, sir."

"Really?  Considering the gems are *mine* and they're from people who'd want to sleep with me who I turn down, I sincerely doubt that.  Especially since the weapons we have for my protection are in another state."

The Fed sneered at him.  "Mr. Harris.  We wanted to talk to you too.  Bring him in, boys."  One of the cops grabbed him and went flying into the wall.  "That was a mistake."

"No, you pretending to be a Fed is a mistake," Xander said dryly, walking closer.  He snatched the earring by magic and tossing it into the hall, watching him scream and grab his ear.  He didn't change.  Xander got the other one when he found it and the guy changed.  "Now then," he said dryly.  "Who sent you to get me and the family?"

"X!" Faith called.  "Please?"

"It's fine, Faith.  Stay there."  He let loose some of the hormones on the cops that had went for their guns to make sure he wouldn't be shot for attacking that fake Fed.

"Sure."  Cordelia pulled her away.  "We should call Angel or someone," she hissed.

Cordelia shook her head.  "No.  Not even."

Xander leaned down to get near to him, saying something in his native language.  The demon screamed and wailed.  He straightened up.  "Guys, the stones are safe?"

"Very," Sam agreed.

"You will be ours, you will fulfill the destiny," the demon sneered.

"Get this thing out of my suite before I snap his neck," Xander ordered coldly.

"Sir, he's still a Fed, even though he's orange."

Xander looked at the ID then tossed it over.  "That's not real."

He looked then swallowed.  "You're right, it's not."

Xander looked at the other one, who backed up.  "You want me, come get me."

"You're only a concubine," he sneered.  Xander gave him a look as he let loose of the full hormone package.  The demon moaned.  Xander let it go further.  Then he let it blast.  He sneered back.  "Please?" the demon moaned.

"Hell no.  I have *no* mercy."  He took off his shirt and showed that his pants were riding a bit low, showing some of the tattoos.  "Did you think I wear these for no reason?"

The demon stared at him.  "They're not real."  Xander walked closer and the demon backed up.  "They're not."  Xander put his finger on one, letting him feel the power in them.  "Oh, God, please!" he begged.

"Go kill yourself," he ordered coldly.  "Not in front of us."  He ran off.  Xander looked at the cops, smiling some.  "Hi, guys.  I hate people who threaten my safety.  Who wants to take the statement?"

"I'd like an explanation."

"He's GHS," John told him.

One of the officers stared at him.  "Usually they're much softer."

"I'm also from Sunnydale," Xander said dryly.  A few officers crossed themselves.  He nodded.  "Yeah.  That's the training behind the hormones."  He drew them back in.  "Someone open a window so they can fade before I have more willing worshipers?"  They did it for him.  "Thank you.  Can we unlock them now?"  One of the guys came forward to do that.  "Thank you."  He patted him on the arm.  "I have a lot of respect for good cops.  Where I live has a lot of them and they're very helpful to me or whoever's taking me back."  He looked at the senior guy.  "Thank you."

"I'd like a better explanation."  Xander walked him into another room to tell him the whole story, from the beginning.  The guy moaned a few times but he eventually understood.  That was good.  Xander let him go and he waved his guys off.  He even apologized to the guys.  He told the manager that the Feds were fake and had been found out by the guy who had been bothered.  They relaxed and made sure that the rest of the things they had stored were fine.  Xander came down to go over it with them.  The cops agreed, set another one on the hotel since it might lead back to the theft attempts for the gemstones, and they left.

Xander looked at the girls in the hall.  "It's good."

"Must you?" Cordelia asked.  "If they thought Faith was involved she would've went back."

"That's why she was in the hall."  He shrugged.  "More people who wanted us."   He walked over to Sam, pulling him up.  "You okay?  I know they wanted you this time."

"I'm fine, Xander."  He gave him a hug then the other two got beers.  Faith grimaced but took a soda.  Xander and Cordelia with her.  Sam looked at his father.  "Sorry."

"I guess it'll keep happening," he said calmly.

"I want that prophecy to deal with in the usual way," Xander said.

Cordelia gave him an odd look.  "Just because you've warped like three, doesn't mean you can do this one."

He smirked.  "Of course I can."  He smirked.  "If I can create two slayers...."  Faith choked.  "I'm the one who did the CPR that brought Buffy back when the Master killed her."

"She said Angel did."

"Yeah, she said that a lot," he said dryly.  "I had to get him out of his apartment at crosspoint because he was scared of his grandsire."  He took another drink.  "Then he told me he couldn't do CPR because he doesn't breathe."

"He talks, that means he takes in air," Sam said.  "If we can find a copy."  One floated down.  "Thank you!"  A few new stones came showering down.

Cordelia looked up then at Xander.  "You're so spoiled," she taunted.

"Now.  I wasn't always spoiled."

"No, in high school you were more like spoiled meat."  Faith gave her a dirty look.  "I've known Xander since kindergarten.  All the greatest hits of his family.  All the 'my mother doesn't cook' issues he used to have.  The cops being called.  All that."

Xander nodded.  "Yeah.  Those things."  He looked at Faith.  "Mine were drunks.  Bad drunks.  If they ever find me they're going to do something for money."

"Willow might help," Cordelia warned.  "They've talked to her."

Xander shrugged.  "Let her become a Harris.  I'm a Winchester by raising now."

"Thankfully we're better," Sam said.

Xander grinned.  "Just imagine if I had been born one of you and broke out in puberty the first go-round."

John shuddered.  "Damn it, Xander.  That's a horrible thought.  That one demon would've come for you instead of Sam.  We might have two of you in trouble."

"Hey!" Dean complained.  "I am one too."  Faith gave him an odd look.  "Sam and me both.  Both half as strong."

"Thank god for that.  That means you can handle Xander," Cordelia said.

"Yep, we enjoy it," Sam said cheerfully.  She blushed.  Faith cackled.  Dean swatted him and John took another drink to hide another moan.  "We'll be handling that backup again later."  Xander gave him a slight leer.

"Probably starting with spanking," Dean said.

"But I don't like spanking games," Xander pouted.

Dean looked at him.  "You're going to be lucky if the cops aren't affected," he said quietly.  "Though, it was a good save."

"Welcome.  Always happy to help."

John looked at him.  "Behave or no shopping for a week, Xander."  Cordelia cackled at that threat.  "Or you have to take her and only buy her and Faith things."

"Oh hell no!" Faith said, hopping up.  "I'm still having flashbacks to shopping for my room!"  Xander pouted at her.  "Uh-uh!  No!  No shopping for me! Or with with me!  Whatever!"

"He can spoil me all he wants," Cordelia said graciously.  Xander squealed and jumped up, grabbing some things before walking out with Cordelia being dragged behind him.  "Xander, I can walk," she complained on the way to the elevator.

"We'll get called later when she's begging for mercy," Dean noted.

"Angel can whine," John said. "It'll make his happiness curse last for a while longer."

Faith gave him an awed look then punched him on the way to the bathroom before she peed herself from the laughing.

John rubbed the sore spot on his arm but it was fine.  She was happier.

***

Cordelia flopped down at the Hyperion, just fell to her knees on the floor.  She gave the guys staring at her a pitiful look.  "I'm so tired," she whimpered.  "They said Xander couldn't shop for anyone but someone else.  He dragged me through ten stores in three hours."

"Only ten?" Gunn teased.

She let out a whine.  "Ten.  Oh, my god, it was ...."  She fell onto her butt.  "I've seen more clothes than all of Europe can wear in a year.  Save me?  Don't let me go again?"

"You don't have to go again," Angel soothed, coming over to pick her up.  He dropped her onto a couch.  He managed to avoid the grab attempt but Gunn got pulled down.  Angel went to get her some water.  She looked like she needed it.

Wesley came over to help her.  She clearly needed help resuscitating herself.  "Xander was quite mean to drag you off like that."

She looked at him.  "You have no idea."  He patted her on the hand, handing her the water Angel had gotten her.  "You'll protect me, right?"  They all nodded.  She smiled.  "I love you guys."  She gave them a hug, no matter how much they tried to get away.  "Can we give him to Fred for a while?  She could use some new stuff."

Xander bounced in beaming happily and nearly manic.  "I heard that."  She flinched.  "Of course I got stuff for Fred and everyone!"  He gave her a hug around the head then gave Angel something.  "That's all hers.  I'm going to go have some fun."  He bounced off.  Dean caught him outside and pulled him to the car, taking him to cure him.  Cordelia had sent a desperate text to have him cured.

Angel went to look at the reason he had keys.  He stared at the truck waiting.  The driver gave him a look.  "Keys?"

"To the back door."  Angel nodded, going to look at what was back there.  He whimpered when he saw the boxes and bags.  "Want some help?"

"Sure.  Gunn!  Wesley!  Fred!"  They came to help him unload the truck with the driver.  Cordelia nearly cried at the sight of the bags.  Fred came bouncing down to help unload the truck.  Angel smiled, but let her haul all the stuff she wanted.  When they unpacked it was stuff for the clothes, the clothes themselves, stuff for the kitchen and the office.  A computer that came to life with Cordelia's laugh as the start up sound.  More clothes and some shoes too.  Fred grinned and tried on a pair but it was too small for her.  Cordelia pointed at a set of bags so she grabbed her stuff to go try on in her room.  Angel looked at her.  "At least he's spoiling you."

She nodded.  "Way too much.  I've never said this before, I may never say it again, but I'm not shopping ever again."  She laid down, covering her eyes with the cool cloth Fred had gotten for her headache.  She needed a nap.  She had no idea how Sam and Dean handled Xander but clearly they were the master at it.  She'd cede her princess crown to Xander and the title to them.

***

Xander got home and hugged his house's door.  "I'm back.  Are you still okay?"  He petted it until Sam reached past him to slide the key into the lock.  He ran inside, then back outside to the neighbors.  "Can I have my dog back?" he begged.

"Sure, Xander."  She went to get the dog, who barked and nearly pounced Xander.  "He's been a good boy for me."

He kissed her on the cheek.  "Thank you for watching him for us.  It went great and Faith's okay."  He bounced off to play with his dog in his yard.

The others watched and let him wear himself out.  He could unload the truck later.  While John rested.  Xander had worn himself out to keep from worrying about Buffy or Willow showing up.  He was still in hyper mode and would be until he wore himself out for good.

***

Xander laid in bed later that night.  He was reflecting.  He was tired.  He was still worried. He started to move but Sam pinned him to the bed.  "I was going to clean guns."

"If they show up, I'm going to beat their asses," Sam whispered in his ear.  "No matter who starts it.  Quit worrying.  You're stressing yourself out.  You're driving us nuts."

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't be.  Just relax.  If it happens it happens."  Strife appeared and knocked the boy out.  "He'll be fine."

"I know.  Make him have *fun*, not be worried."

Sam smiled.  "Park?"

Strife smirked and nodded.  "That'll work."  He disappeared.

Sam smiled, texting something to Dean's phone from his.  They'd handle it the morning. They had an amusement park nearby and Xander would squeal for hours at it.

***

Two months later Xander watched the news, frowning, tipping his head to the side while petting the dog.  The guys were off doing something official with the DMV today.  He had no idea what they were doing but that was fine.  He had been left at home.  He decided to try to call someone he knew out there.  "Hey, Jack, would you like something like a weapon?"  He listened to him complain he was busy.  "Uh-huh.  Want a bigger weapon?  Because I can find you some.  Uh-huh."  He hung up and went to get under the armory.  He brought three big things out to the SUV and got in, heading out with the dog to protect him.  He decided to run back in to get one thing he had found that he had no idea what it did.  He drove out to the base, smiling at the guards.  "Colonel Jack needs these.  He had me store them when a friend gave them to me and it sounds like he needs them now."

"Sir, we can't call him up here.  We're in lockdown."

"That's okay; if I can home in on him, I can get them down to him."  He grinned and got out, opening the trunk.  He got the cases out to the ground then concentrated.  Finding spells weren't that hard.  Neither were banishing to someone spells.  The dog barked.  "Hush, Bogart.  Let Daddy work."  He concentrated, finding that nice Danny guy.  He sent them to him.  He beamed at the guards.  "There you go.  Tell him if he needs me to find more, let me know."  He got the dog back into the SUV then got in to drive them home.  He did stop for donuts but that was fine.  He couldn't figure out how to make them at home yet.  By the time he got home, the base was reporting the problem 'breaking in' had been caught and arrested.  He beamed at the dog.  "We're very helpful today.  Jack was helped by us."

Bogart barked and wagged his tail, happy that the daddy was happy.

***

John opened his phone.  "What's wrong?" he asked.  The DMV worker gave him a dirty look.  "Something's wrong at home or they wouldn't call."  He listened.  "DMV.  What did he do?"  He groaned.  "Uh-huh.  Sure, we'll go look together when you get free.  Probably an hour or so.  Thanks for the warning, Jack."  He hung up.  He looked over where Sam was still waiting.  "Sammy, where's the cases?"

"Cases?"

"Something happened where Jack worked and Xander dropped off some cases that were helpful?"

Dean looked over from his spot in line.  "No clue," he admitted.  "I haven't seen 'em.  I didn't bring any when we moved him."  He finished up and headed to get his new license and pay his taxes.  That took another line.  Sam joined him once he had his new license.  John got his license and they headed home.  He had paid his taxes first.  They walked into the house together, finding Xander cuddling the dog while staring at the visualization for the music channel.  Dean leaned over the back of the couch.  "Did you think someone might protest that you have artillery?" he asked quietly.

"Huh?"  He blinked at him.  "What?"

"Artillery?  Someone official might protest?  Did we think?"

"He needed it."

"It was stupid and we can get into trouble for it."

"Why?"

"Are there any more?" John asked.

Xander shrugged.  "I needed them and some were presents."  Someone pounded and Jack walked in.  "Hi.  Did it help?"

"Where are they, Xander?"  He stared at the boy.  "You may not have military grade weapons in Colorado Springs.  At all."

"I need them."

"No, you don't.  There's other ways of dealing with it."  He glared.  "Where.  Are.  They?  Before I have to tell my CO you got them to Danny by magic."

Xander sighed, getting up and taking him to the storage area under the armory.  He had to go look up the number again but that was usual for him.  John followed with Dean.

Dean fell to his knees, staring in awe at the room.  "Holy mother of God."

Xander beamed.  "See, helpful."

John pulled Dean up.  "Before you get too happy, son."

"I think it's too late," Sam teased.  He looked and moaned.  "Xander, why didn't you tell us you had this?"

"Because I wanted it to be a surprise in case we needed it."

John patted him on the back.  "No, son.  No one guy, even you, needs these."

"Ya think?" Jack demanded.  "No, he can't have them."  Xander pouted.  "Do NOT do that at me, Xander."  Someone pounded on the door.  "Stay."  He went up there, giving the cops an interested look.  "Yes?"

"Sir, the alarm company said Mr. Harris got into the armory twice in about three hours.  Is there a problem we can help with?"

"Xander gave me some stuff to help us on base."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "Can we see, sir?  Since he's not here and bouncing?"

"Xander!" he called.

Xander came up, looking sheepish.  "Sorry to worry you guys."

"Why did you get into the armory twice?" one of them asked.

"Jack needed stuff on base."

"How did you get it to him?" the other asked.  Xander floated over the phone.  "Oh.  Okay.  Is there some reason we can't look?"

Jack nodded. "It was a present and only three fit in the SUV."

"Oh, that stuff.  You're going to confiscate it, sir?  Before we have to arrest him?"

Xander pouted.  "I might need them."

The cops shook their heads.  "No," they said in unison.  "Sorry."

Jack smiled.  "Thank you for backing me up, guys."  He waved and shut the door, walking Xander down there.  "I don't care if it's armageddon.  That's why there's the military."

"I don't think I want another of those.  I've dealt with a few."

Jack and Dean both stared at him.  "No," Jack said, shaking his head.  "Doesn't matter.   We can give them back if we need it.  For now, no."  He looked around.  "I have no idea how I'm getting this back to base without notice.  Xander, that floating stuff?"

"I don't feel like hurting my brain today.  Comas hurt when you wake up according to Faith."

"We can heft them out and say it's a present," John said.

"Do you *really* think my boss will believe that?"

"No but don't give him an option.  He already knew Xander had stuff."

"Good point.  He presently isn't sure where I am."  The doorbell rang and he stomped up there, staring at Daniel.  "The general?"

"Sent me to see what you're doing and where those very handy items came from."

"Downstairs."

"Are there more?"  Jack nodded.  "Are we taking them?"

"Yes."

"Good.  Because I brought a truck.  Based on the background I did on him, I figured he probably had a lot more."

"That works."  He went down to help them carry the stuff upstairs.  Since Xander had gathered it, he could help carry it back up to the truck.  "Now."  They got to work carrying things up to the truck and Jack's car.  They still didn't all fit but John got the SUV and the rest, following them back. Even if Xander did pet each case and say goodbye.  Jack pulled back onto base and into the entry of the mountain base, parking and getting out.  The general gave him an interested look.  "Presents to Xander, sir."

"That's who showed up?"

Jack nodded.  "Yes, sir."

"How did he access the base?"

"Magic," John said as he got out of the SUV.  "Xander's fairly weak but he can banish things."  He pointed at the trunk.  "Got more of them.  If I find more, I'll call Jack.  Dean and I'll go over the house later, sir.  You have my word if I find it, it's yours."

"Thank you.  You would be?"

"Winchester, sir.  Marine, retired."

"Good to know, son."  He looked at Jack.  "I'd like a more comprehensive report."

"Sure, if you want to go talk to Xander, go for it, sir.  Just take the aspirin with you."  He pointed at the guards.  "Unload it please?  It is weapons, I'm assuming they will work."  He looked at his boss again.  "He's pouting.  I'm not going to deal with the pout."  He went to help unload.

The general looked at John.  "Would *you* like to explain?"

"Not really.  There's a problem if more people know.  The more who know, the more likely it is we'll have to rescue him from somewhere."

"The same one that had the hormone condition?"  John nodded.  "Okay.  How did he get them?"

"Did anyone tell you anything about Sunnydale, sir?"

"I looked the boy up."

"He was the planner out there.  He was also weapons support since the slayer didn't like them and the watcher didn't like anything modern.  So he gathered what he could to keep them out of play.  Some people heard of this and gave him some of those.  Some of them he may have found on his own.  He won't tell us."

"This doesn't bother you?"

"No.  Frankly it's a good sign that Xander can relate back on his former usual terms even when hormoned.  It shows we're keeping him down."

"Uh-huh," the general said.  "Who might have given him those presents?"

"No idea.  Xander might not even know."  A demon appeared, handing over a list, then left.  "But Vesvold might know."  He looked before handing it over.  "Some are human."

"That's greatly helpful," Jack said dryly, hefting another one.  John dove in to help.  "At least the kid will rub out any cramps later, Winchester."

"Hopefully.  He's sulking bad."  He got finished with the SUV's load.  Daniel and Jack got the soldiers to get the rest of theirs.  "Need more?"

"Search the house," Jack ordered.

"I can do that."

"Anything beyond a handgun or an assault rifle."

"If I can.  You saw him petting them like we were putting the dog to sleep."  Jack moaned, nodding.  "I'll do what I can though."  He looked at the general, who waved John off.  "Thank you, sir.  Hope to see you for something happier next time."  He left, going back to help Dean search the house.  Sam met him at the door.  "Any others?"

"Don't ask.  He won't talk to us.  He's locked in the bathroom sulking over his lost pets."

John sighed.  "Dean?"

"Down there.  The alarm company told him there may be another door.  They think."  John nodded, going to check on that.  Sam went back to trying to get Xander out of the bathroom.  He saw Jack stomp back in and head down to the basement.  That wasn't going to make anyone happy.  "Xander, let me in.  Now."  Xander let him in.  He closed the door behind him.  "Anything other than the room in the basement?" he asked quietly.  He nodded, looking pitiful.  "Then we'll handle it but if there's anything too big, make it appear down there.  Like it had been cloaked."

Xander squealed and hugged him, casting the spell to transfer things.  "Nothing bigger than a grenade launcher," he whispered.

"We can accept that."  He went to find his father and Dean.  "Dean?"  Dean looked over so Sam drew him off.  "Nothing larger than a grenade tube," he whispered in his ear.  That got a nod.  "It's cloaked."

"Done," he agreed. "Here?"  He nodded.  "Thanks."  He went back.  "Xander had some cloaked but Sammy got him to unhide it."

"That's fine.  It'll be fine," John said.  They finished getting the stuff that appeared out to the truck.  By the time they were done it was well past dinner time.  Xander was pouting in the kitchen to some stir fry.  They got handed plates then Xander went to sulk in the backyard with the pouting dog.  John shook his head but he ate.  Xander wouldn't poison him.  Probably.  Jack left and he looked at the boys.  "How much did he hide?"

"No comment," Sam said.  "Nothing too huge, Dad."

"Good.  I'll accept that as long as it stays hidden for apocalypses."  He looked at Xander.  "If you hadn't done that, you could've had the rest."

"But he needed it."

"They're the military, they had some."

"If they did they wouldn't have had to lock down the base from the stuff they deal with coming through.  They expected them to use the weapons we've taken and modified, not our weapons. They probably have no experience with ground based weapons with explosive or concussive force since the demon underground said that theirs are energy weapons."

"Is that like the strange looking thing in the box in the armory?" Dean asked.

He beamed and nodded.  "Yup.  One of them knew I know Jack so he gave it to me in case they come after friends of Jack."

"You're an incredible amount of trouble," John said.  Xander gave him a hurt look.  "But fun and you liven up our usual lives."  Xander sulked.  "Don't do it.  It won't work.  You do bring strange challenges to our lives."

Xander looked at him.  "If and when they come, you'll thank me."

"When?  Isn't that sci-fi movie talk?" Dean asked.

Xander leaned closer.  "You do know that Jack's job is to travel to see them?"  Dean moaned, shaking his head.  "And that being Americans, we seem to have pissed them off?  In great and many ways?"

"Shit," Dean muttered.

"Yup.  Just about.  So when they come...."

"We'll be here," Sam said dryly.  "Still alive."  John gave him a dirty look.  "We will."

"You may be."

"No, I will be and they'd better be.  You I'll ask a wish demon to make immortal."  He shot him a look then went back to eating.

"No evil thoughts," Dean said firmly.  "Either of you."

"Yes, Dean," Xander said.

"Yes, Dean," Sam echoed.

"Thank you, boys," John said, eating another bite.  He would not complain.  He wouldn't.  This time.  If the aliens came it'd be fine.  They'd handle it like everything else in Xander's wacky life.

Faith came out to join them from her meeting with the probation officer.  "It go okay?" Sam asked.

"It went fine.  He understands and he's heard of Xander.  He's heard of both problems because he's a Watcher of a different sort.  So we're working on stuff at the moment."  She sat down.  "But for right now we're okay.  As long as I don't drink, don't get caught fighting, or with weapons."

"You got to miss moving them earlier," Dean said.  She gave him an odd look.  "Xander helpfully gave Jack a few things when they were nearly shut down due to an invasion problem.  Showing the pretty stuff he had stored under the armory."

She groaned.  "Boytoy!"

"What?" he whined back.  "It's good!"

"It's not good, X," she said.  "I can't be part of that."

"You're not.  Jack took it all."

"Good!  Better!"  She went to get some dinner, coming out to sit down and eat with them.

"I made real food.  You didn't have to eat sandwiches."

"I'll eat this and that," she reminded him, going to get some.  She came out with the pan for the guys.  John took the rest when the boys shook it off.  The pan went back inside then she sat down to inhale food.  "What else did I miss?"

"Vesvold knew who gave them to him."  John looked at him.  "I'm pretty sure it was only the stuff we handed over."

"That'd be good."  He ate another bite.  Faith gave him a look.  "What?" he demanded.

"It's freaky seeing you this way when you're usually bouncy, happy, and slutty."

"I still am."

"It just means we wore the hormones out enough," Sam quipped.  Xander swatted at him.  "I'm glad we managed it.  It's good to see you back to your normal self, Xander."

"No one liked the old him so it's odd that we'd see it." Faith said.

"I'm sure plenty did, they just didn't get the chance to appreciate him," Sam said, glaring at her.

"No, he was pretty much a punching bag emotionally," she said.  "The girls used him."

Xander looked at her.  "Faith, they've heard."

"Sorry, X."

"It's clear they didn't appreciate him, Faith, but we're not bitchy girls," Dean said.

"Good point.  You're not B or Red.  By the way, saw Red in town."  Xander moaned, sliding down in the chair.  "I don't know why.  She didn't see me I don't think."

"We'll go to a higher alert level," John said.  "Bogart, watch for the bad guys."  The dog raised his head and barked, then looked around before putting his head back down.

Faith smiled.  "He's a good dog."

"He's a very good dog," Sam praised.  Bogart looked at him and barked, then went back to cuddling the daddy.  "One of the best things Xander's ever bought."  Xander grinned, blushing some.

"He's around back!" someone yelled from the front.

They groaned and got weapons while Faith mentally prepared herself.  A delivery guy walked around the house.  John signed and took it, giving him a tip so he'd leave.  He looked at it.  "Legal letter."  He opened it, looking inside.  "Ah, it's a parent gram."  He  gave it to Xander.  "Say no.  If you give in, they'll keep coming back."

Xander read it over, then sighed.  He called the number on it.  "How are my parents suing me for finding a life outside the liquor bottle and away from them?  As far as I know, there's no way that's legal."  He listened.  "No, that's not legal, sir.  I'm sorry but it's not legal.  Children are supposed to grow up and leave the house.  Even if it wasn't about that, I'm not giving the drunk bastards a dime.  No they didn't.  I've found out I was adopted."  The man spluttered.  "Or found.  Since I've found out a few things about my heritage...."  He smirked cruelly.  "Even without that, why would I pay the abusive drunks a damn cent?  With as many times as the cops had to intervene?  Or try to intervene?"  He hung up.  "They're trying to sue me for leaving the house."

"They can't do that," Dean said.

"No, they can't," John said, staring at something.  "You aren't very stealthy, I'd come out."  A petite redhead walked out.  "Miss Rosenburg.  How are you tonight?"

"I'm here to bring Xander home."

"This is my home," Xander told her.

"It's pretty clear you've made a deal of some sort, Xander.  This isn't you."  She waved a hand at them.  "They're clearly not human."

"Actually, they're hunters," Xander told him.  "This is John Winchester.  He's been a demon hunter for decades.  When I got hit with that little deaging curse, his family took me in to protect me."

She snorted.  "And I so believe that."

Xander pulled a picture out of his wallet, walking over to show her.  "You know very well my family never took me anywhere and you know what I looked like at that age," he said quietly.  She glanced then glared at him.  "Now, how old was I then?"

"Ten."  She shrugged.  "So?"

"Do you remember my family taking me to Kansas?"

"No.  Again, so?"

"Deaging curse."

She laughed.  "That doesn't work."

Vesvold appeared.  "No.  Don't, Vesvold."  He looked at her again.  "He's on the High Demonic Council.  He's wanted me since I was that age the first time.  Want to see other pictures?  Sam took a lot for me so I had happy childhood memories."

"And how did that happen?" she sneered.

"Jealous guy at the brothel I was discovering my sexuality in for five weeks.  I made more money than he was."  She shrieked and tried to hit him.  He tossed her onto the ground. "Also while regrowing, I got to do a bit of studying.  A few very good years of studying really."  He handed the picture back to Dean.  Then he looked at her again.  "Now, was there something else?"

"You aren't like this," she said, getting back up.  "This isn't the Xander I grew up with."

"Yeah, I am.  I'm still the same Xander but now I know how to use what I have to protect myself.  I even know how to get rid of suitors who don't have a clue and want me anyway."  He turned to throw a hairpin at one, making him shriek and disappear.  "I said no."  He looked at her again, seeing the shocked look.  "He wanted me to be his bedtoy but I'm not into that.  Dean and Sam are more than enough to fill my dance card."

She glared.  "There is no way this is you," she said hotly, moving closer.  "You're not like this."

"I am like this.  I have been since I went on that roadtrip and you guys told me not to come home."  She tried to glare harder.  "You said it with her, dear.  It's your own fault.  Now, we're having dinner and you're interrupting.  By the way, if you're going to help my parents, you should realize how illegal suing me for leaving them is."  He glanced back at them then at her, seeing her concentrating.  He smacked her on the forehead.  "Do not try magic, Willow."  He stepped back, shaking his head.  "I don't know you since you became a bitch.  You're one of the reasons I left, Willow.  You turned into this strange, bitchy, odd little person when you finally grew up.  That's not the friend I wanted or needed.  I refuse to be brought down by my friends.  Instead I have people who actually like me and don't mind when I go into goofy, hormone overload mode.  They even let me drag them shopping and spoil them."

"This isn't you.  I will fix whatever spell that demon has on you."

"I have no spell on him, Willow Rosenburg.  I keep others from having a spell on him.  I've loved the boy since he was very young.  I'm the one who turned in Rupert for selling him without his consent."  She shrieked and launched a magical attack at him.  He dissipated it, earning a horrified look from Faith.  "Yes, my kind do magic.  It's not often used by my clan but we do have it and it is very strong.  That's why we're a founding race, child."  He looked at her.  "Would Hecate approve of your tactics?"

"Don't know.  If I see her, I'll ask," Xander told him.

Strife appeared, looking at him.  "Calm down.  Ares is starting to get that special headache."

"She has us invaded and he's going to be getting a full blown one," Xander shot back.  "Willow, this is Strife, God of Mischief.  I'm one of his priests."

She looked where he was then snorted.  "I don't see anyone."  Strife appeared and she gaped.  "No way!  You're a demon."

"No, toots, sorry."  He grinned.  He looked up.  "Hey, Auntie?  Got one of yours going rogue!"  She appeared, looking at Willow, then sighed, shook her head, and disappeared again.  "Looks like you're on your own, chicka."

"I doubt that," she sneered, pulling up more power.  He patted her on the head, taking it from her.  "Hey!  Not fair!"

"There's no *fair* in a battle," he said dryly.  "You should've learned that *long* before now."

"We'll see."  She made them all relocate, without the demon or the God.  "Let's see if you're really spelled or not."

Xander sighed, pulling something out of his hair and looking around. "Faith?  You good?"

"Fuck no.  We're surrounded, X."

Dean checked his gun, then his sword got pulled off his necklace and enlarged.  Sam did the same, handing her an extra one.  "Here you go."

"Thanks, studly. Need this I think."

John took Dean's gun so he had a better one than his single gun.

Xander enlarged his sword.  "Bring it."

She summoned the demons.  "We'll see who is the real one."

Xander backhanded her.  "Yes we will."  The demons came rushing and he jumped in first because he was one of the better fighters among them.

Willow woke up to see Xander in battle for the first time.  He was moving in ways that she shouldn't like.  He was doing things with that sword that shouldn't be possible for a human to do.  The others were backing him up.  She frowned.  It had to be the hair or the sword.  She summoned the sword but Xander ducked a blow by a huge fist and summoned it back, then shoved her so the demon tripped over her.  Then he took out that one when she screamed.  She made a grab for his hair to test it but Dean slapped her.

"Don't touch the hair.  He kills whatever touches the hair."

"That's got to be the source of this strangeness then!"

"I saw him grow it out.  I doubt it."  He gutted another demon, letting it fall on top of her.  He got back into the fight.  She could protect herself.  He had to protect Sam and his father.  His father was more vulnerable.  He was a normal human and was running out of bullets.  Xander yipped and got the next wave down.  They were down to the injured and a few tried  to get up.  Dean got them.

Sam hauled Willow up.  "Send.  Us.  Home," he snarled.  "Now.  Before I end you."

She tried to back up a step.  "You wouldn't."

"Yeah I would."  He looked back at Xander, who was panting.  "Shit.  Dean, he's down."  Dean went to calm Xander down from the battle rage but Xander got free and Sam, well, he got out of the way since Xander's target was Willow.  She screamed and transported them back.  Including Faith even though she hadn't meant to.

Strife knocked Xander out.  Then he knocked her out.  Faith looked then at him. "He'll give Ares a massive headache again."  He looked at Dean.  "You good?"

"I'm fine.  He'll be good?"

"He'll be fine.  Whadda I do with this piece'a crap?"

"No idea, don't care."

"Let Jack see if she can be of use," Sam said with a grin.  "Hacker, science geek, witch.   She'll be crushed by all the geniuses but oh well."

"That's so evil," Strife cooed, patting him on the head.  "I like it!"  Discord appeared, giving Sam an odd look.  "Look, Ma, it's a Rosenburg."

She looked then snorted.  "Pitiful and pathetic."  She looked at Sam again.  "Are you sick?  You're not usually that bad."

Sam grinned.  "Thank you."

"He's in backlog," John said.  "He turns evil when he's backed up.  Dean turns strange."

They nodded.  "That figures," Discord complained.  "Cupid and Aphrodite do evil so well when they want to."  She disappeared.

Strife looked at her then took her to Jack, handing her over.  "She fucked up.  She decided Xan was evil and had him attacked."  He disappeared.

Jack looked at her.  "Huh.  Medic," he said dryly.  "I think she needs something."  He put her on the ground and shrugged at the odd looks he was getting.  "I didn't do it."

"Obviously," Sam said.  "Who was the guy in leather?"

"Strife."

"Ah."  She nodded.  "Interesting names some people have."  She got to work.

Jack watched the medics take her away.  "She got dropped off here for some reason."  He went back to what he was doing.  Someone would deal with her and then he'd find out what was going on this time.  Because he had *no* clue.

***

Xander woke up tied to the bed.  He blinked at the straps then at the man staring at him. "Was I that bad?"

"You tried to thump Dean while you were out of it," John said, undoing him.  "You good?"  Xander nodded.  "Because it's now Tuesday."

"What was it the day of the fight?"

"Monday."

"Oh.  Why?"

"Strife knocked you out because you went off the deep end again."

"Crap.  Did we solve the problem?"

"Willow's with Jack.  Still.  She's under arrest at the moment because she tried something."  Xander gave him an odd look.  "Sam suggested it."

"Jack's going to hate us."

"He doesn't.  He thinks she might be helpful."  He patted him on the head.  "Want some lunch?"

"Sure."  He got up, going to the bathroom then padded out to the kitchen.  Sam handed him his extra sandwich.  Xander hugged him.  "Are we okay?   I'm sorry, Dean."

"Not a problem, Xander.  You were reacting to someone being there."  He pulled him down to let him sit between him and Sam.  He liked the three-quarters square bench seat they had in the kitchen.  Xander snuggled in while he ate.  "What're we doing if she or Buffy comes back?"

"I'm all for spanking them," John said.  "They clearly need it."

Sam nodded since his mouth was full.  Xander looked at him.  "Would it help?"

"I'd hope so."  John got them more food and put some in front of Xander.  Xander beamed and dug in.  "We'll handle it as it comes, guys.  Xander, do you have to go back to court for that thing with your parents?"

"No.  I can call for a lawyer and deal with that today."  That got a nod.  "We'll see which way works better."  He went back to eating.  "Sorry, guys."

"Not a problem," Dean said patiently.  He patted him on the back.  Sam grinned at him.  "What, bitch?"

"Being a bit touchy-feely," he taunted.  "Are we backed up?"

"If I am you can blow me."

"Boys," John ordered.  "Stop it."

Xander sighed, then looked up.  "I know I'm not at home.  Dean smells wrong."  The scene blinked out.  He looked at it then shook his head.  He concentrated on his feel from his marks.  He could feel them so he was somewhere.  "This looks like a hospital and I'm getting bored."  Nothing changed.  He started to broadcast.  Life came back really quickly.  He looked at the pretty pictures that appeared.  He groaned.  "Cute.  Really."  He centered himself.  He felt air start and looked around again.  "Still cute."  It went white again and he sighed, then growled something he had learned from one of the demons who had tried to own him.  An officer appeared, looking confused.  "Where in the fuck did Rosenburg send me?"

The DPP officer pulled something off his wrist, looking at it.  "I'm not entirely sure."  He looked at him.  "Why are you here?  Rosenburg?"

"The last thing I remember before I gave into the battle rage was Willow Rosenburg showed up.  She took us to a demon plane with a hell of a lot of demons.  I was with Dean, Sam, John, and Faith.  Strife and Discord showed up for a minute I think, maybe.  Or maybe it was a dream?  I woke up with those who weren't mine or my version of them."

The demon nodded slowly.  "Okay."  He checked it again then looked at him.  "This is very strange.  It's an unclaimed realm."  Xander frowned and storm clouds appeared.  "It appears it likes you."

"That's nice and all but I have a home.  I don't need a realm.  I've given away the other ones I ended up with."

"I've heard."  He tapped the crystal and was suddenly back in his office.  "Um, sir, Mr. Harris is somehow in an unclaimed realm trying to get free after a battle with Rosenburg and some demon horde?" he asked.  His boss gave him an odd look before the medics pounced him. "I'm not insane!  Take the tester crystal!"  They did.  They'd fix it or him, whichever the problem was.

Xander looked around.  Then he sighed and pulled a hairpin.  He centered himself because he was upset and doing major magic while upset was a bad thing.  He could end up in Mongolia or some alternate Mongolia in some other alternate realm.  That would probably be a bad thing and Dean would nag for years.  He slowly closed his eyes, tracing the symbol he had studied but not learned all the intricacies of.  Slowly he dripped blood to made a dot outline of the figure. He walked it, dropping more and more drops between the old drops.  He had to reopen his hand a few times but that's what it took.  Finally the symbols were done and dried.

He stepped into the center, looking down, picturing home.  This was not going to be a pleasant trip.  He looked out and chanted the ten line verse, sending himself spinning across the multiple universes.  He had to watch.  Even if he had closed his eyes he would have seen but if his eyes had been closed he would have seen more than the physical, he would have seen the auras, the problems coming for them, and the scenes of violence going on in the places where the realms intersected.  This way he only saw the physical horrible things going on.  He finally landed back at home, swallowing the bile, calming his stomach down. He kicked dirt over the dried blood and patted himself down.  He walked off, finding the nearest bar.  He walked and put his wallet down. The bartender looked at him.  "I don't give a damn, just make it go away."

"How experienced at drinking are you?"

"My parents are drunks so I have a beer now and then."

"So nothing too heavy.  Got a preference for sweet or not?"

"I love chocolate but I don't give a damn."  He poured him a good drink with rum and pointed at a back table.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, kid."  He watched him go sit down in the darker corner and sip his drink. When he got through he sent him another few.  Finally the guy he was looking for came in and he pointed.  "Wanted it to go away.  He on the roster today?"

He looked then groaned.  The off-duty cop leaned closer.  "That's Harris.  I'm thinking it was worse than the usual kidnaping."  He got handed the phone and dialed the number the whole PD had been given.  "It's Sergeant Forls, sir.  Is Mr. Harris allowed to drink?"  He nodded.  "What's he having?"

"His third rum and diet coke.  He'll probably make two more."

"He's doing rum and diet coke.  Third one presently."  He listened.  "Charlie's down on Isis.  Thanks, sir.  He's fine.  Just wanted it to go away.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "They'll be down soon."  He got his usual beer and went to bother the young guy.  At least no one was hitting on him. "What happened?"

Xander looked at him.  "Do you really want to know or want a pretty lie?"

He considered it.  "Lies are nice but will it help?"

Xander shook his head.  "One of my friends showed up.  My best friend since childhood.  She decided I was evil and took me and the guys and Faith to a place where we were attacked.  We won the battle."  He finished his drink.  "Can I have another?"  One was handed over.  "Thanks."  He sipped it then put it down.  "While there, somehow they got out and I got shoved into a pseudo reality.  One that had people like this but were pretending to be mine."  The cop shuddered.  "I realized that and got free.  So I ended up in this formless white place.  Looked and smelled like hospital sheets."  He took another drink.  "I couldn't get free so I had to pull something massive.  Half of the drinking is to cure the backlash headache I have."

"We've seen your sword."

"Same thing only harder and worse.  To get back here, we had to go across each and every single connecting ones.  Which means I had to see what was happening in each one where it touched."  He took another drink.  "And I had to look because if I closed my eyes I'd see it anyway and more."  He looked at the cop.  "Ten realms a minute, just long enough for your brain to take in what was going on as it tested wherever you were against your personal energy to tell when you're home."  The cop took a drink at that, looking a bit green.  "It took two hours to get home," he finished quietly.  The cop gave him a look.  "I saw me, I saw others, I saw wars, crimes, horrible things that my brain refused to see.  Things I can't stop, can't effect, can't change."  He finished the drink.  "And tonight I don't want to see them again."

"It'll last longer than that.  Like combat, it changes a man."

Xander nodded.  "My high school graduation was attacked by the mayor's people.  He was doing all sorts of horrible things in the same sort of complicated mess that Faith and the rest of us deal with in quiet.  The only way to stop him was to hold a defensive action long enough to get the people out of the way and to blow up what he became in the school.  Right before then he was over seventy feet long."  The cop shuddered.  "In snake form.  He ate the principal, which most of the students cheered.  I led the defensive action.  I lost a tenth of the class to that and those escaping injuring each other or getting in the way of the defensive action.  And that was probably one of my worst things but I'm not so sure at the moment."

The cop finished is beer and put the glass down.  "Is that why the hormones came out?"

Xander smirked.  "Danger keeps it down.  That and I had a nympho girlfriend, kinda.  It was okay until I went on my roadtrip and let myself experience things.  Though yes, it's nice that I don't have to think abut some of that all the time and they understand."  He looked over at Dean since he was walking over.  "Hey."

"Hey."  He settled in beside him.  "We noticed you didn't come back and not even Vesvold could find you."

"I had to do that realm traveling with the blood."

Dean shuddered.  "I remember what they told you would happen."

Xander nodded.  "Two hours.  I'm trying to decide if some of those things are worse than Grad."

Dean shook his head.  "That's from an area that you weren't personally involved in.  You can't change it, do anything, or do more than watch.  For you, it's like a really horrible movie.  Grad you dealt with personally.  You had to deal with all the things that went down before and after.  That's worse because you had to see it, feel it, taste it.  A movie is always less creepy than real life and even if it gives you nightmares, you can forget a movie."

Xander nodded.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  You done?  Want one last one?  Sammy's panicking and Dad's not much better.  Even Faith lost her cool."

"Then I guess I'm done."  Xander looked at the cop.  "Thank you.  I'm sorry for your nightmares."

"It's cool, kid.  Just try to sleep tonight.  The rum'll help."  Xander nodded, letting Dean walk him out to the Impala.  He got up to get another beer, finding the kid's wallet was still there.  He called Dean's phone again.  "He left his wallet.  Sure, I can do that, kid."  He hung up.  "He said to use it for the bar tab I'm going to run up with my nightmare fighting and then to donate it to a good place that needs the help to help others."  The bartender smiled.  "Then give him back his license in the morning since he shouldn't drive tonight anyway."

"He sounds like he's a good kid."

"He's seen some scary things in his life."

"No doubt.  What's with the hair?"

"Don't now.  No idea.  Seems to come with the hormones.  The younger Winchester has floppy hair and seems to be worse off than this one that got him is."  He went to find a new friend, going to ease his own nightmares for the night.

***

Dean walked Xander into the house, letting Sammy pounce him into a wall to cuddle.  "He's fine.  He had to do that mass traveling thing and it got bad."

"You're okay.  We couldn't find you.  But you're okay?"  He checked him over by patting him down.  Then he took a kiss.  "You're okay?"

"I'm okay.  Just...  The traveling was bad, Sam."

He pulled him to the couch to cuddle again.  "It's all right, Xander."  John walked in.  "See, Dad."

Xander looked at him.  "Was time running really fast there?  You look older."

"It's worry."  He gave him his own look over and hug.  "Rum?"

"I had to hit a lot of other places to get here momentarily.  I saw a lot of shit I don't want to see again."

"We can handle that."  He patted him on the head.  "Go shower and climb into bed so Sammy can fuss and Dean can do his impersonation of his mother."  Xander nodded, letting them take him to the bathroom.  "Faith, he's back," he called up the stairs.  She came skipping down to check him over herself, even though he was down to a thong.  Then she smacked him on the face and stomped off.

"Sorry!  It's not my fault she left me there!"  He looked at Sam.  "On the pseudo-realm they gave her to Jack."

"So did we," Dean assured him.  "Jack's probably confused why but oh well.  At least the real brains will knock down her attitude issues."  He got the tub ready and helped him into it, then Sam climbed in too.  Dean sighed, shaking his head.  "Whatever."

Xander pulled him into the tub too, cuddling both his men.  "I got scared."

Sam gave him a tight squeeze.  "Me too."

Dean nodded.  "He was."  Xander grinned at him.  "Okay, I got worried when Vesvold said he couldn't find you and neither could the DPP officer that somehow got to you."  Xander cuddled him too.  His boys needed reassurance.  He could do that.  He was good at it.  Sam was good at cuddling and Dean needed it.

***

Daniel knocked on the door the next morning, getting Faith.  "Is Xander here?"

"Yup, still in bed.  Guys, get X up and able to think," she called, letting him in.  "So, how are you enjoying the cranky bitch?"

"Who is she?"

"The best friend Xander had since kindergarten.  Who told him not to come home."

"Okay.  Why send her to us?  We're a classified project."

"She gave herself some pretty good clearance and she can do strange things that might help you; plus she's a bit smart but not too bright."

"Clearly.  She mouthed off to Sam when she woke up.  Janet nearly took her head off."  Xander came wobbling out, blinking at him.  "Xander, can you please put on clothes so I don't get thoughts that'll mean I'll be beaten by your boyfriends?" he asked politely.

Xander grunted at him, blinking sleepily.  "She's been bad."

"We know.  Jack already wants to beat her or spank her."  He was trying very hard not to look below Xander's neck.  "Why send her to our project?"

"Because she can be useful if she wants to be and it'll help her find herself again.  Because otherwise she's a bad girl."  He frowned, looking at him.  "Most guys sweat."

"I'm trying not to look.  It'd be disrespectful."

Xander hugged him.  "You're good and nice."  He went back to his room, going back to bed.

Sam walked out a minute later.  "We suggested it because half the demon underground do know.  She's a hacker, has a lot of science skills, and combat experience from the periphery in Sunnydale.  I have no idea how much of the actual hunting she got.  Unfortunately she has special girl syndrome and she's dangerous.  She attacked all of us to try to cure Xander from the evil deal he had made by moving us off realm and having us attacked by an overwhelming force.  Thankfully, Xander's a berserker.  A lot of her problem is the special girl syndrome Buffy, who is now a lush, has been promoting and the fact that no one's ever challenged her.  The school out there was pathetic to put it nicely.  The only school they could qualify for was Sunnydale's branch of the U of C system."  Daniel shuddered.  "She may have gotten into another school but she decided not to go to be with Buffy.  Xander said she got into Yale but turned it down to go to UC Sunnydale."

"For an ideal?"

"For the special girl moments.  They're roomies, best friends, she nearly ruined her first ever relationship by kissing Xander.  Then the girls blamed him."

"So we're her atonement?"

"If you want to think of it that way.  I think she has the skills you guys can use if you harness her right and using her skills will teach her better habits.  Consider it like boot camp for the newbie.  Deconstructing to make her a better person."

John laughed as he came out of his room.  "I think it could help her.  How are your people taking to her?"

"They're not.  Severely not.  I'm not sure we can keep her though."

"She's a hacker.  Have one of yours search her out," Sam said.  "Put her in under 'do it or go to jail'," John suggested.  "It worked for Vietnam."

Daniel nodded.  "That's true.  I'll see what the general thinks.  There's some great minds at the program.  How does the undergrown know?"

"No idea," Sam admitted.  "I'm sure we'll find out."

"Maybe she knows," John suggested.

"I'll ask.  I'm sure the science corps would love her."

Faith leaned down the stairs.  "Red floated things while hunting and maybe staked now and then.  She might not be able to handle full contact but when she's normal and not bitchy she tries for nice, kind, gentle, and sweet.  The sort people like."

"So first contact?"

Faith shrugged.  "All I know about you guys is that you deal with strange shit that's worse than demonic and stranger than them too."  Daniel nodded a bit.  "So yeah, see if she will.  Make it a that or go to jail choice.  Then show her jail.  I'm a badass.  I grew up on some of worst streets of Boston.  I couldn't hack jail."

Daniel nodded.  "I'll see what I can work out with the general."

"She won't blink at anything strange," Faith pointed out.

Sam looked at her.  "When you're done with probation, do you think that's something you might want to apply for?"

She snorted.  "What use could I be to them?"

"Faith, half of our people are military grunts who get trained to handle things when situations go bad.  Most of it's field work and field training.  Something you already have a lot of."

She shrugged.  "I'll think about that."

"Thank you."  He looked at Sam.  "I'll try.  If not, it probably violated a lot of laws."

"She already knew and she has a high enough clearance thanks to her hacking."

Daniel moaned.  "We'll look into that."  He smiled.  "Thanks.  He okay?"

"Now that he's home."  Daniel nodded, heading back to base.  Sam looked at his father and Faith.  "Hour, guys, please?"  He went back to help Dean wear out Xander, which would help him wake up.

John shook his head, looking at Faith.  "You good?"

"I'm good.  Wish I had someone to make the squeaky, squealy noises with but I'm pretty good."  She grinned and went upstairs to enjoy herself.  An hour would be enough time.  John groaned, going to workout in the backyard today.  It'd get him out of hearing range.

***

Daniel came in from his deeper background check, handing it to the General.  "Sir, they have a good reason for sending her to us.  Not only is she a fairly decent hacker from what we've found, but we've also found she has an extensive background in hunting, magic and other things we may have to deal with some day, and she's unwise enough to have given herself a clearance level above Jack's ability to find."

"Oh, holy Hannah," he muttered.  "The other reason?"

"She went after Harris, who was her childhood friend, and decided he had made an evil deal.  She transported them to a plane where they were attacked by an overwhelming force.  Fortunately Xander is a berserker.  They won."

"She's now evil?"

"Xander and Sam said that she and Buffy had a special girls moment.  Or ten."  Jack walked in.  "And that they were in college, drinking.  Willow's incredibly bright, one of the few students in that system Sam Winchester called pathetic to be offered a chance to go to school out of town.  She has the skills we could use, she has sins we can use to get her to use her skills, and she has a lot of the training we give the Marines, General.  Plus we're not sure how the underground finds out about us.  We're not sure if there's a leak from a hacker or what.  Our people are too overloaded to find it."

He considered it then nodded.  "I'll get us permission."  Jack handed over the paper in his hands.  "You called from a normal phone?"

"It got faxed to my office.  Along with a note saying the Watchers Council wanted their girl all alone."

"And this Buffy girl?"

"Drinking," Daniel told him.  "A lot of drinking and thinking she's special.  As proven by the rape charge she leveled against Xander when he was in another state because she told him not to come home."

The General considered it.  "Can she be reformed?"

"With detoxing and some guiding I'm hoping so.  I am worried if they find out where Harris lives," Jack told him.  "There will be a battle and Xander's more than skilled in many forms of fighting so he'll win.  If he doesn't, Dean will."

"So we can keep them confined?"

"I think there's going to be a problem with the issues she's supposed to handle," Jack admitted.  "But I'm not sure how we'd handle that for her or with her.  Xander has some horrifying stories about apocalypses."

"Plural?"

"Yearly."

"We can ask that Angel guy," Daniel suggested.  "See if they'll need her and if so, can they reasonably call her back in time to handle the big issues."

The General considered it then nodded.  "Will she do it?"

Jack shrugged.  "Does she have a choice since they gave her to us?  Or else we're stuck with one slayer with combat trauma who's on probation.  This way it saves her life because Xander thought they were going to wetworks Faith for going bad.  They will do it to this one since Faith said the legacy passes on through her, not Buffy.  That means she's expendable."

The General nodded.  "Have her picked up."

"There's an Army reserve base in the town," Jack said.  "Xander had to break onto it once to get something for her to use in a mall."

The General moaned.  "I don't want to know."

Jack smirked. "On it, sir."  He saluted then went to make that call.  It'd be good training for their guys to practice some stealth snatching and theatrics.

Daniel smiled.  "I'll take Sam and go talk to Miss Rosenburg."  He walked out with the folder, showing it to Sam.  "He agreed.  Like they did before.  Military or jail."

She smirked back.  "She's not that good."

"She's never been challenged.  She was top brain in her school."

"Oh, one of those."

"In a crappy system," Daniel admitted.  "She can hack and we don't have anyone to find that stupid leak."

"Good point."  They walked into the room Willow was being held in, letting the airmen shut the door behind them.  "Willow Rosenburg.  Hacker, semi-scientist, witch, hunter."  Willow glared.  "In deep trouble for giving yourself presidential security clearances."

Daniel sat down, looking at her.  "Willow, may I use your name?"

"You'll probably do it anyway.  Even though I'm not going to fall for psychological BS."

"That's fine.  I'm an anthropologist, not a psychologist like your parents."  He took the folder back and slid it over.  "Anything in there not look correct?"  She looked then slumped, shaking her head.  "Good.  Because we have an offer to make you."  She stared at him.  "There are people who believe your life is better suited helping more of humanity."

"I helped save the world."

"We do it monthly," he said patiently.  She stared.  "The demon underground knows about us somehow."

She nodded.  "Yeah, I heard.  There's a few who work on base to make sure you're not going to create the next huge problem."  She shifted. "So why the jailing?"

"Oh, this is not jail," Sam assured her.  "Jail comes with a tiny room with a lot of extra noise.  Bad food.  No having any freedom.  We might let you have some now and then and it's a lot quieter, plus no cellmate to molest you night and day whenever they get the chance."  She smirked.  "Plus you'll get a chance to prove you have some brains once you've straightened yourself out."

"Buffy needs me."  Daniel handed over the other sheet of paper.  She glared at him.  "How dare they!"  She got up to pace.

Daniel cleared his throat.  "Buffy will be joining you here shortly.  Once she's dried out."  Willow stopped to stare at him.  "You can prove your worth to us and help us save everyone, repeatedly.  You can prove that you do have skills with people who are certified geniuses in many fields across all the sciences - physical, practical, and theoretical.  You will have to prove yourself because they all know you got sent to us for attacking your oldest friend."  She glared at him.  "Who hasn't really changed.  He's simply gotten more trained and let his body rule him now and then.  Before the danger kept it down.  Now he's not in as much."  She sat down on the bed again.

"Or you can go to jail for giving yourself such a high clearance.  Which would be a federal crime so you'll be in Leavenworth and it's possible that the current administration will see it as an act of terrorism from a domestic militant group.  With the power behind the Watchers Council they could already be setting you and her up for that."  She glared at the wall but slumped down further.  He stood up and pushed the chair back into place.  "There will be rules.  You have about a day to make your decision.  She'll be here by then."  They walked out together, going to the observation area.  She was back to walking around talking to herself.  He looked at Sam.

She gave him an evil smirk.  "I want to send in McKay."

"Sam, are you presently being overtaken by an alien symbiot or something?"  She hit him to the shoulder.  "Ow."

She walked into the lab, finding her pain in the ass working.  "We are getting a new helper who has to prove her worth."

"I heard."  He looked at her.  "Why is the little brainless wannabe my problem?"

"She needs to know what it'll mean to prove herself.  She came from a crappy system and ended up on top with enough brains to give herself presidential level clearance."  He stopped working and turned to stare at her.  "She was accepted at Yale and decided not to go to stay with the demon hunting team she was working with."

"Demons," he snorted.  She nodded.  "You're joking, right?"

"No.  We can prove it but it blew my mind too."

He grimaced.  "Is she willing to work and learn?"

"She has a day to decide.  I'm not sure I want her in my labs.  I like her a lot less than you at the moment.  You'll either drive her off or make her get stubborn enough to stay."

He nodded slowly.  "That works for me.  I could use a good proofreader."  She pointed and he went to the observation room.  Daniel handed over her file.  He grimaced.  "It doesn't say much about her skills."

"Then test her," Daniel said.

McKay smirked.  "Thank you, I think I shall."  He went down and opened her door.  "On your feet.  Someone wants to know what pitiful things you can already do.  We doubt you have enough of a clue to work with such esteemed geniuses as myself but perhaps you can be a lab flunky."  He pointed.  "Now."  She put on her shoes and followed him silently.  He'd find her deficient areas quickly enough.  It was clear soon enough she had the skills, but her training had been pathetic to put it nicely.  "How bad was your school?" he demanded after she had to look something up.  "You should learned that in high school chemistry."

Willow looked then looked up her school's yearly stats on the computer for him.  "That's Sunnydale.  It was meant to hold us as a feeding ground, keep us from killing each other before we were culled."  She got back to work on the formula he had been staring at.  "You forgot a negative."  She pointed and added it then finished it.  "Like that?"

He looked.  "Yes, like that.  I was working on that last night when I couldn't sleep."  He gave her a different one since she seemed competent enough to wield a calculator.  He sent that information to Sam.  They really had to do something about that.  The best minds had to protest all those other minds being rotted and mistreated.  They might have missed another genius in the making.  She growled from her office, making him smirk.  It'd do her good to yell at someone.  She had been bored recently and she did scare officials more than him.  She went to get all the scientists to make a protest to the state about that school.  They had multiple award winners on staff and that school was that bad.

"Oh, well," Willow quipped.  "They deserve it anyway.  I wish them luck and to stay out of town after dark."

He looked at her.  "I still don't believe in demons."

She looked at him.  "I'd bring you but you'd scream like a girl."

"As would you I'm sure," he sneered.

She snorted.  "No."  She smirked.  "There's got to be some in town."

Jack O'Neill leaned in.  "We do not threaten to have the other scientists eaten, Miss Rosenburg, and you'd have to take him to Denver to do that show and tell.  There's very few half ones in town.  We know that thanks to someone's hormone condition."  McKay gave him an odd look.  "He has hyperactive pheromones."

"Can't they fix that?" Willow demanded.

"The only stuff that wears it out can kill him if it's used more than every two months or so."

She frowned.  "There's got to be a cure.  That and the haircut he needs."

"They like his hair," he said smugly.  "Everyone likes his hair."

"Faith's still a bad girl."

"Faith got walked across the line in a collateral damage incident, Willow.  Not like she went hunting for the line."

"She did later."

"For the guy who walked her across the line.  She's going to come back.  She's made a good start.  If that guy Angel can, she can."  Willow went pale.  "Good.  McKay, can she handle it in here?"

"I've tested her in the lesser maths.  She appears to be competent enough with that.  I'll run her through the other areas but she'll have some catching up to do since her schooling was so far below standard it's nearly in the dark."

"There's the educational program.  Sam's used it, Danny's used it, I'm sure she can too."  He walked off.

"It will be hard for you but at least you'll be doing something more useful than magic."

She snorted.  "I can do both at the same time."  She floated the chalk she was working with.  He smacked her on the head.  "Ow!"

"Don't do that or they'll expect you to do it in the field."  She groaned, going back to work.  He smirked, going back to his own work.

"What are you working on?"

"Something far, far above your limited  understanding."

She looked then pointed.  "That won't work.  I tried to explain it to Xander a few times that it was beyond human abilities so far and he kept coming up with questions.  You'll want to account for vibration from the rapid traveling as well."  She went back to her lesser problem while he scowled.  She could smirk at the board.  Treat her like a silly child again!

Comic book geeks were annoying he decided.  Always thinking strange thoughts.  At least it gave her a reason to think higher thoughts.

***

Buffy woke up, holding her head.  "This is not a hangover."

"I think you've had plenty of experience with those already," a male voice said.

She stiffened then looked at the guy.  "Why did you drug me?  New version of the Initiative?"

"No.  We would've taken them down too."  He handed her something.  "We're saving yours and Rosenburg's life."

"I can handle the Watchers," she snorted.  "I have in the past."

"When the team got there, we had to rescue you from them."  He leaned down.  "Being drunk means you can't protect yourself or your mother."  He stood up straighter again.  "She's fine by the way.  Our guys got the ones coming for you both."  She stood up.  He pushed her back down.  "She knows where you are, relatively.  Not the actual location but that we have you, that you're safe, and that you're going to be drying out.  She agreed it was a good idea."  He crossed his arms over his chest.  "There's things we have to talk about once you can think straight.  Is your head all right?"

"Good enough.  The headache will be gone in an hour or so."  He tossed her a bottle of tylenol and pointed at the glass of water beside her.  She took two and looked at him again. "Why snatch me here?"

"It was us or jail, Miss Summers.  Miss Rosenburg created a lot of problems when she hacked.  The FBI was looking at both of you.  They didn't mind it so much when you do your job but being drunk means you're not doing  your job."

"Someone has to."

"Angel said he had someone to do it."

She slumped.  "You talked to Angel?"

"We talked to Angel, Cordelia, and Wesley.  We talked to Miss Rosenburg, your mother, and Mr. Harris."  She stiffened at that.  "One of the guys here knows him.  The family he's with needed someone  who could help him while they were out of town and the family had some mutual contacts."  She looked at him.  "He encouraged us to give you this chance.  He thinks you can come back to the side of the light.  I think if you do, you have the chance to do a lot of good work with people who could use your training and skills to save everyone."

"Higher demons?"

"No.  Not here.  There's apparently a few harmless things working on base but no."

She swallowed.  "Can I see Willow?"

"Later.  She's being tested to see where her true limits lay.  Since your school was so horrible."

"Well, yeah, but it was only meant to give us something to do until we were killed for food and fun."

"So we've heard."  He moved closer.  "The underground knows about what Jack and Daniel, Doctor Jackson, do."

She frowned.  "I've heard a bit.  Something about an ancient gateway and old enemies we drove off once but they're back since you guys opened the gateway again."

"Something like that."

Vesvold appeared.  Buffy gave him a dirty look.  "From Xander."  He handed it over.  "It explains what you do," he told the soldier.  "In her native language."

"Hmm.  I'm not up to date on modern teenage slang."

She looked at the demon.  "Who are you?"

"I am High Councilor Vesvold."

"How do you know Xander?"

"I first found myself entranced by him as a child of seven or eight.  In his first childhood.  He was an adorable child with a will that could match my own.  As I watched him grow I fell in love.  Even when his hormones came out on his roadtrip and someone jealous turned him into a child again.  Xander is wary of coming to me but that is reasonable with his past and one of his reasons is that he doesn't want someone to try to harm me for the sin of loving him."

"They don't like gay demons?"

"Having a human is considered beneath my race."

"Pity.  It'd be good for Xander to have someone who can love him since the rest want to kill him."

He smirked.  "That's because they were not worthy of him. The ones he has now are but they are quite fun to watch over.  Hunters such as you and Xander are."

She nodded.  "I heard.  I still think it's wrong."

"That was your own fault.  You must live with your decision."

"I know."  She looked at the military guy then at him again.  "This stuff?"

"Is a worthwhile project and you could do some good here, plus retrain your body so it is better than it was before.  They have one coming up that could be a good place for you to work."

"What about Sunnydale?"

"It's mostly slowed down and Angel can handle it.  If not, he'll be able to get you back for it.  There are other hunters who are moving into the area.  Xander's family asked a few and they agreed."

She sighed, looking at the letter.  It gave her all she needed to know.  "What about my watcher?"

"The last we heard he was in jail for selling Xander against his will."

"He said it'd protect him."

"He tried to send Xander to someone who was not for him," Vesvold told her.  "Which means that one died very badly while I was protecting the one I prefer."

She looked at him, swallowing.  "Are your kind dangerous to humans?"

"Only if they touch what's mine."

"Good to know."  She read the letter again then looked at the military guy.  "How long do you need me for?"

"It'll be better if you just sign on.  It'll protect you.  We'll let you go handle any sort of problem that's going on.  If it's bad enough your team may even be able to help you."

"There's always small problems going on."

Vesvold nodded.  "While that's true, there's ones that handle those as well.  Not to mention Faith is healing."

She considered it.  "What would I be doing?"

"At first you'd be training to go on missions."  He smirked.  "Any grunt can be trained, we think you're better than they are."

"I..."

"You'll find out as you detox, Miss Summers."  He moved closer.  "You'll be able to call your mother whenever you want.  If you prove you're back to being a human instead of a lush, then you may even be able to talk to your other friends.  They would probably want an apology first."

She nodded.  "I know.  I was bad."

He nodded.  "It's good you realize that.  That's the first step to changing your behavior."  He nodded at the door.  "Bathroom time."  She looked at herself and grimaced.  "We'll let you have some stuff to wear once you've signed on."  She nodded.  "Good.  Any other questions?"

"How long?"

"Let's try a year and then we'll see.  You might want to stay."

She nodded.  "My mother would agree?"  He handed her the phone.  She called home.  "Mom?"  She smiled, hearing her being okay and telling her to agree, plus some good reasons.  She nodded.  "Okay.  They want me for a year."

"You'll be able to visit a few times when we've got downtime."

"They say I can visit."  She nodded.  "Thanks, Mom.  I'll be safe.  I promise.  We'll talk soon."   She hung up and tossed him his phone back, standing up to look at him.  Then she  shoved him against a wall and off the ground.  "If anything happens to my mother because I'm not there, there will be hell to pay," she said calmly.

He kept himself calm.  "The local reserve base is watching over her for you."

She huffed but let him down.  "Then let's do this.  Is Willow all right?"

"She's fine.  She's been taking tests to see how much she really knows.  That way she's in the right lab and they can guide her through further education."  He opened the door with a remote.  "Let's go."  He walked her up to the office, saluting the general.  "General Hammond, Miss Summers has agreed."

"That's good."  He waved him off.  "Go ahead and sit, Buffy."  She sat, smoothing down her skirt.  "I know you know some of what we do."  She handed over the letter.  He read it.  "We have got to find that leak."

"They're worried that you're going to either go Initiative or have a problem that not even I can solve."

He looked at her.  "We've done all right so far.  Going on five years now."

"Congrats."

He smirked.  "We'll be able to find you a place to help us protect everyone while you find yourself again."

"I'll get to see my mother?"

"Like any job you'll be earning vacation days and you can use them during downtime.  I won't say downtime hasn't been canceled for an emergency..."  She waved him off on that.  "I figured you'd seen that before."

"Finals and apocalypses come at the same time every year."

He nodded.  "Here we don't have many apocalypses but we do have a college program you'd be welcome to enroll in."

She considered it. "I'll think about that.  Patrol and school didn't go together so well."  She looked down.  "That's one of the reasons I think I started to drink.  To finally have some really free time."

He smiled.  "We get mandatory downtime after injuries and after so many missions."  She smiled at that.  "We've also all seen a lot of combat over the years.  Most of us have seen the people around us die.  Some of us have lost teammates.  They do understand what you've seen and you'll be able to understand what they've seen."

She nodded.  "It might be nice.  I can't tell my mom about that stuff.  She's... she's gentle and nice.  She's a *mom* and I can't change that."

"Here we're all soldiers, Buffy.  We've all seen the same things or will be eventually.  It's not a pretty job...."

"But someone has to do it so the moms don't," she agreed.  "Okay, I agree."  He found a packet, letting her fill it out.  Once she was done he summoned her guardian back.  He took her to get her processed in and to a shower.  She got BDU's to put on and it was like she was one of them.  They dropped her off with Jack for boot camp; he'd get her through it and she'd be taught to use her specific gifts better.

***

Xander woke up from his wake up, smiling up at Dean.  "Hi."  He pulled him down for a kiss.

"Afternoon."  Xander gave him a grin.  "Dad said to wake you up, it's nearly time for training."  Xander got up and went to braid his hair while he washed the rest of him.  Dean went to tell them he was up.  "He's doing his hair."  He nodded at the trainer.  "You're early."

"You're backed up and your watch is misset," John noted dryly.  Xander came bouncing out and down to the basement when he saw the trainer, getting a head shake.  "Sorry he was late."

"It happens with him now and then.  He's not too late."  He went down to find Xander warming up.  Xander got done and moved into the form he called.  He was a good student. When he remembered things.  He moved him into the next thing he wanted him to know, going over the move with him until he could do it in various combinations of what he already knew.  Sam and Dean came down for their turn to train with him and Xander.  They were already better trained but they were getting much better under his tutelage.  He had Dean and Xander spar since they were the better fighters in this style.  Sam had a few he was better in, it took advantage of his longer limbs and more graceful nature.  Ten minutes before the end of the session all three stiffened and looked up.

"Relax, guys, it's Adam," John called a minute later.

"Okay."  They went back to it.

"Psychic episode?" the teacher joked.

"Sometimes we can tell when someone's in the house," Dean told him.  He attacked Xander and Xander ducked then did something he wasn't supposed to but it got him down.  "Good," Dean praised.  "Didn't see that coming."

Xander grinned.  "Plus I got to see you on your back," he teased.

"All you have to do is ask to be on top," he taunted back.

Xander pinned him against a wall, moving closer.  "What if I want to be on *top*?" he asked quietly.

"Then we'd think.  That's probably more Sammy's thing."  He smirked.  "Is that what you want for your birthday?"

Xander shifted closer.  "I could like that."  Dean gave a negligent shrug so Xander squealed, hugging him.

The trainer rolled his eyes.  "I see we're done for the day."  Sam chuckled, shaking his head.  "Go shower, boys, before your sweat overpowers someone."  They retreated to their bathrooms to shower after a quick hug of Adam on Xander's part.  He walked up the stairs, taking the water John was holding up for him.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  How are they doing?"

"I'm going to move them onto another form soon.  They've about mastered the first two forms I can teach.  Are they going to go higher?"

"We're not going for belts.  I want them able to handle anything anyone throws at them during a fight or a kidnaping attempt."

"They're doing fine with that goal.  I can teach them one other then there's a few other fighting forms they can learn and a few more meditative forms as well."

"Would going higher protect them more?" Adam asked.

"There's special moves masters can use. I've gotten them to brown belt levels so they'll be able to counter most anything that's thrown at them.  Even some of the specialist moves. The boys are all good at thinking on their feet. They can also take a few blows and go on.  Now, some of the higher fighting forms are just different enough that they may not be able to counter everything."

"Are there local teachers who can teach those?" John asked.

"Two of the three I think they should learn but I know they don't teach outside their dojos."

John considered it.  "Will they do private lessons there?  Because we don't want the boys to accidentally hormone someone."

"I'll talk to them for you, John.  It's possible they have a small class.  More opponents means being better able to counter strange moves."

"True.  The third?"

"I'm not sure she'd be willing to teach the boys.  She teaches at an abuse shelter.  I'll ask."

John nodded.  "Please.  We'd gladly pay them what we do you."

He smiled.  "Steve is very generous."  He sipped his water, nodding at Adam.  "They've mentioned you a few times.  Their mentor?"  He nodded.  "It's nice to meet you.  Should I try for Saturday?"

John looked at the calendar then shook his head.  "That's Sam's birthday."

"I know.  I'll see them Monday then."  That got a nod and he left, going back to his own gym to shower and get ready for his next class.  If he carried the boys' hormones with him, they'd try to pounce him.  After the first time he understood why the boys were fanatic about their safety.  He hadn't wanted to be pounced that way.  It had been disturbing to him and the big, tough, macho guys he trained, plus the three teenagers, to have pounced him.

Xander came out of the bedroom, pouncing Adam for another hug.  "How's Ray?"

"He's doing good."  He moved Xander off his lap, getting a sheepish grin.  "He's thinking about changing departments to somewhere warmer.  We're not sure where yet.  Other than that, we might do some traveling.  Ray's never been farther than Canada but the Mounties are driving him nuts this month."

"I'm sorry.  Should I go pout at them?"

"He did."  He smiled at the two coming out of their rooms.  "Good session?"

"Very," Sam agreed, getting him and Dean a bottle of water.  "What's up?  Just checking on us?"

"That as well."  He looked at Xander.  "There's a few who wanted to learn the dances.  The tapes weren't very clear."

"We can do new versions on better quality DVDs," Sam agreed.  "Maybe even in time for the next convention."

"Which is in Boston in two weeks."  Xander winced.  "Steven's made reservations for your family, boys."  They all smiled at that.  He slid the formal notice of reservations over to John.  "There.  Is Faith coming?  If so, you can figure out where to put her but she'll have to keep to the same silence the rest of the guests do."

"Of course I am," Faith called.  "Or I can stay here and feed the dog."

"Bogart's coming with us," Xander said.

John checked then nodded.  "We can do that."

She came into the kitchen.  "I can stay."

"Okay, if you want," Xander agreed.  "I know you'd have to check."

"I would but we'll need me to guard the house and the stuff that's still in it."

"It got moved back to Denver," Dean told him.

"Not the tv and stuff, guys," she said dryly.  "Thieves would like that more than they would the pretty stuff.  You have to be higher than street thugs to be able to dump them."

"Good point," John agreed.  "If you want to, we won't mind."

"Don't have sex in my bed," Xander quipped.

"X, your bed is scary.  It's huge and even the dog gets lost in it."

"He likes to cuddle in it," Sam told her.

"That's because he's fixed and X's hormones are as close to a bitch in heat as he'll get."

Xander snickered.  "I am a bitch in heat but he doesn't even try to hump me, Faith.  He's one of the few I don't attract."

She patted him on the head.  "Thank god."  She went to get something to drink, looking at him.  "If you go, no shopping for me."

"Shut up," he shot back.

"Need midol, Faith?" Dean asked.

She nodded.  "Well, yeah, but there's none in the house."  She sipped the coffee.  "X, can I borrow the porsche?"

"Can you even drive?" John asked.

"Um, I know how.  I've hotwired a few cars."

John groaned.  "We'll go to the pharmacy and the grocery store later."  Xander moaned. "For regular things, Xander.  Not the stuff you want to pick up.  You can go tomorrow after your spa session."  Xander nodded at that.  "Go put on a real shirt, Faith."  She went to do that.  He shook his head.

"You could give her driving lessons," Dean offered. "You did ours."

John looked at him.  Then he walked off shaking his head.  It was a good idea but he hated to do driving lessons.  They always wrecked his nerves.  Faith came bouncing down the stairs and out to the truck.  He had to move Xander's porsche but that was fine.  He liked driving the elite little excuse for bad gas mileage now and then.  It was meant for fun and fast speeds and it was good for it but it was a damn uncomfortable car.  They got into the truck and headed for the pharmacy and the grocery store.  Xander wouldn't fuss if he picked up the standard things like rice or pasta.  Or water, beer, and soda.  Because Xander was out and he'd be looking for some soon.  Faith got an extra 2 cases of soda. He smirked.

"He'll complain soon."  He handed her the box of midol, letting her open one to take it now.  "Thanks."

"All women do it.  Even Mary did."

"Yeah but they didn't have Midol back then."  She smirked.  "Did you hide?"

"I pulled long shifts those days and brought home a treat at the worst day."

She smiled.  "Ice cream?"

"We can do that."  She went to get what she wanted.  Xander wouldn't care and neither would the boys.  She came back with individual pints since she wanted cherries and Sam didn't like them.  They went to get some of the usual things.  The truck was full but that was about normal for them.  The grocery store was used to them.  The guy even helped load the truck bed for them.  Faith tipped him, a habit she had learned from Xander, and they got to go home.  She had gotten an extra pint of ice cream for the trip home to make her PMS feel better.  It made her feel less likely to slay everyone and more likely to go hide in the tub.  The guys came out to unload the truck and Sam gave her a hug for the ice cream.  She smiled, going in to watch Xander cook.  It was better than any cooking show because Xander would swear when he did something he decided was wrong.  Plus she got to smell all the things, even the burning garlic Sam threw into the garden out back.  Xander was still learning but they'd eat it anyway.  It'd make the boy happy.  Which was the most important thing.  A happy Xander didn't pout at her or give her puppy eyes that she couldn't defeat.

The GHS Dilemma of a Harem.

Xander looked around the mess in the living room, then shrugged.  He put the new collar on his dog.  "There you go, Bogart.  Pretty."  The dog yipped.  He beamed back.  "Good boy."  He petted him then went to put all the new things up where they belonged.  He had to sneak into a few rooms but that was fine.  Then he and his dog headed out again.  They wanted to go play.  He waved at the cop they drove past.  The cop probably groaned since he and the dog were alone but they were mostly safe around town anymore.

He found the shop he wanted and went in.  He and the dog came out an hour later with bags.  A lot of bags.  They went into the back of the porsche then he and the dog bounced off for a soda before getting back into the car.  Unfortunately he wasn't going to quite be able to make that timetable.  Screaming started up the street.  Xander reached for his knife, looking around before undoing the alarm on the car.  "Car, Bogart."  The dog stayed.  "Okay, we'll get into the car."  He moved that way quickly, using his training.  The dog stayed with him.  He opened the door.  "In."  The dog hopped in.  He slid in, started the car, and got out of the way of who and whatever was coming.

He parked nearby, watching and waiting.  Something was going on.  Something huge was going on.  He frowned at the silence going on.  This was huge.  He restarted the engine, then went to his favorite storage area.  He pulled in, found his passcard for the gate.  It sild in and he was granted entrance.  He drove to his pod and got out, using his passcard for the gate door as well.  It raised and he walked in, finding what he wanted.

Someone behind him whistled.  "Well, boy.  This is impressive."

Xander looked back at the cop.  "I know.  What do you think I did when I was hunting?  Speaking of, is it you or something bigger that's coming down town?  Just so I know what I need to have today."

"You could do some great things, boy."  He moved closer.  "Not with this in here."

Xander shrugged.  "What makes you think the locals don't know I have it?"

The demon frowned.  "We do?"

"Yeah.  Everyone but you apparently.  Then again, trying to take him over, not cool."  He grabbed something and threw it at him, making him shriek and leave the body.  "Captain, are you all right?"

The older man looked at him.  "Harris?"

"Yeah.  I'm still a hunter, Captain."  He helped him sit on something.  "You all right?"

"What happened?"

"You were possessed."

The captain groaned.  "Can't be."

"Bull.  I threw holy water on you."  He held up the vial he had opened to throw.  The guy groaned.  "C'mon, we'll get you somewhere safe."  He finished loading his pockets with what he needed then walked out.  The dog was still in the car.  He used the card to lower the door then got him into the car.  The dog had to sit on the shift well but that was fine.  Xander dropped him off at a church, walking him inside.  "Father?"  The priests looked up.  "Holy water made the dark cloud float out of him."

"We can help him," one agreed.  He came to take the captain.  "What is going on out there?"

"No clue," Xander admitted.  "But I'm here."  He grinned.  "I've probably handled worse."  He walked out, heading back to the car.  He checked around then frowned.  "That so sucks."  He looked back at the church.  "Very sucks."  He let the dog out.  "C'mon."  He turned on the alarm then the special alarm Bobby and Dean had cooked up for his cars.  He waited while it sprayed the holy water around the doors then walked off with the dog.  "Hunting, Bogart.  We're hunting.  Be a good dog.  Stay with the daddy."  He walked, hand on his knife.  A cop pulled up the street and he smiled and waved with his free hand.

"Leash laws, Harris," the cop called.  Then he stopped and backed up his cruiser, pausing beside him.  "You're not bouncing."

"I just unpossessed the Captain out of the precinct by the spa.  He's in the church."

The officer groaned.  "Are we being invaded?  The base brings some strange crap down on us."

"Don't know," Xander admitted with a grin.  "But it set off every single instinct I've ever grown."

"Good to know.  Where's your family?"

"Asleep.  I was going out to do some birthday present shopping for Sam and Faith."  That got a single nod and they walked on.  The officer parked and called something in to go with him.  "You don't have to."

"You're in the center of every problem that shows up, kid.  Someone  should be with you."

"If you want."  He grinned then pointed.  "That looks like a problem."

The officer looked then nodded. "That does, yeah.  What is that?"

"Don't really know."  He took a picture and sent it to Jack's phone since he *knew* it wasn't a demon.  No answer.  "Huh."  He tried Daniel's phone.  No answer.  "Looks like the military guys I know are off doing stuff again."   He stared at the thing.  "What are you?" he asked quietly.  It stared back.  He shifted.  "C'mon, baby.  You know you want me like every other being in this universe," he sneered.

The officer gave him an odd look then backed off.  "You're insane."

"No, it's the truth."  He shrugged.  Then he fired the weapon he had gotten from storage, making the thing scream as the power ran through him.  Xander canceled it and put it back into his back waistband.  "Hmm."  He grinned at the officer.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine but I'm the trained one."

"Sure you are."  He grinned sweetly.  The dog growled.  He looked.  "Oh, do try, please," he said sarcastically.  The alien pointed something at him.  Xander moved his hands out from his body.  "I'm a sweet target.  Try it."  It shot at him.  It hurt like a bitch and made him go to one knee, then he forced it back down so he could stand up.  Immortal healing, yay!  He pulled his sword and engaged, attacking back.  The alien wasn't getting free.  It was down and begging for mercy in some language he didn't know.  Not that he cared.  He used his sword to tip his face up.  "In my language or one I know, why are you here and for what reason?"  The alien stared at him.

"Don't even try.  I know at least four languages and multiple demon ones.  In a language I know," he said in another one.  It babbled.  He raised an eyebrow.  "I might read that one but not speak it."  His phone rang.  "Talk to greatness."  He listened.  "I did.  I've got him at sword point.  Sure."  He held up the phone.  "Babble at O'Neill."  It babbled at that name.  It gave him a pathetic look.  He listened to it.  "It said what?  I said in a language I speak.  I speak like four human ones, Jack.  I figured it was something I can read."  He nodded at that.  "Must I?"  He sighed.  "We just had a captain possessed, Jack.  Can't I hand him to the nice cop here?"   He smiled at the cop.  "He's yours until Colonel Jack comes."

"Sure," he said dryly, coming over to arrest the guy.  "How long will he be?"  Xander tossed over his cellphone then walked off with the dog.  "Um, Mr. Harris, please don't do anything we'll have to cover up?" he begged.

"I never do."

"Uh-huh.  Can you maybe go home?" he asked hopefully.

"Um, sorry, can't."  He pointed at the church and the spirits floating around it.  "That looks like something I need to do.  So you hold that bad guy, and I'll handle that."  He grinned and nodded, backing away.

"Freeze," the cop said.

"No, I can't!"  He turned and ran into Bobby and his dog.  The dogs were sniffing tails.  "Hi, Eris.  Hi, Bobby."  He slapped him on the arm.  "Got any idea?"

"Looks like spirits that were contained."

"Something like a well or like from a sucking thing dying?"

"Looks like it could've been from a well.  We'll look.  Where are people?"

Xander shrugged but grinned.  "I was doing birthday shopping."  He skipped off with the dogs.  "C'mon, guys, let's go find the sucking thing and fix it or kill it for good."  He looked at the spirits floating up, frowning.  "Please don't possess me."  He walked through with the dogs on either side of him.  He passed through and none wanted to stick to him so he was happy.  He walked in.  "Um, Fathers, are you seeing this?" he called from the doorway.

"It happens once a decade," one called.  "Just get out of the way.  It's God calling them home."

Xander looked out at the spot where they were disappearing.  "Um, no, it's not.  I know the realm it's going to and they're being harvested for food."  They came to look.  "Last time I knew, no pictures of heaven had demons standing there waiting to gather them."  He looked at the priest.  "Where are they being stored?"

"There's a small well in the basement."

"Let's go check," he said.  The dogs came.  The priest gave him an odd look.  "Mine's protective of me.  The other's in training to hunt demons."  They found the well and Xander looked then kicked the cover back over it, leaning over to tighten the bolts back down.  "That should stop that."  Bobby came running down the stairs.  Eris yapped happily at him.

"You hush."  He looked, then started a blessing over it.  Xander gave him an odd look.  "It works for us."

The priest coughed.  "Perhaps I could?"

"Sure, you can too," he agreed.  "I taught you this one, right, Xander?"

"Maybe."  He shrugged.  "I handle weapons and things, not chants.  Magic and me is a bad thing."  He turned and threw a dagger at the demon in the corner.  "You again?  How fucking tiring, dude."

"You sound too much like Dean, boy," Bobby said dryly.  He and the priest chanted over the well to seal it for good.  The spirits stopped floating off.  They backed away.  "Is that native?"

"Sent to us by Rome to be protected."  He crossed his arms so his hands went up his cassock's sleeves.  "I'll send back that report with it."

"Good," Bobby agreed.  He looked at the demon the boy was staring at.  "Xander, he's pretty powerful."

"Then he either wants to use me as a present or wants to have me for himself.  Like most of them."

"I have women who're prettier."

"That's their job since they're women," Xander said dryly.  He fingered his braid.  "I wear it because I can do some amazing things with my hair.  Not because I'm trannie.  Get a clue."

The demon came out into the dim light, staring at him.  "Yet you take it like a woman."

"And enjoy every single second," he agreed.  "That makes me gay, not femme."  The demon sneered, moving closer.  "Try it, dear."  The demon made a grab and took him but before Bobby could pull his knife or gun Xander was back with a lot of stuff and both dogs wearing fancy jewelry collars.  "Told you so!" he yelled.  "Because you're a fucking idiot!  Next time I'm going to make your whole race beg for mercy!"

"Boy, you all right?" Bobby asked, relaxing his hold on his knife.

Xander snorted, giving him an odd look.  "Why wouldn't I be?"

"He touch you maybe?"

"He got that close and I can get him back."  He smiled.  "Which I did.  Then most of his guards decided I was the bigger queen and more than worthy to lead them in a revolt.  Pity."  He snapped and the dogs followed.  "Fathers, have that stuff."  He came back to get a few things.  "All but these.  The rest sell or whatever to help some poor people."  He and the dogs walked off.

Bobby stared, then shook his head and followed.  A bunch of the aliens had joined their one.  The cop was holding a gun to the first one's head trying to hold them back.  "Um, Xander?"

Xander looked then whistled, letting go of his hormones.  "I AM the queen of the fucking universe.  You will bow to me!" he bellowed.  Most of them went to their knees.  He let the rest of them out, strolling over to the one still standing.  "You've imprisoned one like me.  That makes you unworthy."  The alien pressed a button on his wrist and a female appeared.  "You're on my planet.  Take your toys and go."

"Who are you?" she sneered.

He smiled.  "Xander Harris.  Better than you in most every way."  She screamed and attacked.  He got her down after a minute of batting back at her hits then knelt on her shoulders, leaning down to hold her arms down.  "This is my planet."

"Tauri are worthless."

"Yet look where you are and I'm a Tauri."  She swallowed.  He concentrated, raising his hormones to get her too.  She moaned and whimpered, trying to shift.  "This is my planet.  Do you have a good reason for being here?"

"We need more servants."

"No.  Not my people."  He stared down at her.  "Any other wishes?"

"You will be ours!"

He slugged her across the jaw, making her scream.  "No I'm not."

"Xander!" Jack yelled as he hopped out of the jeep he had ridden down in.

"She's like me."

"Wonderful!"

"Only less willing to save her ass."  Jack came over so he got up.  "All yours."  He pushed his hair back, smiling at her.  "You know, they can help you find someone who'll appreciate you instead of using you.  Like that piece of shit alien did."  He walked off, the dogs following with a bark each for Bobby.  "Eris, stay with Bobby.  He might need you.  I'm going to get you a puppy treat then go home."  His dog yipped happily, bouncing some.  "Sure, we'll go pick you both up a good puppy treat.  Yes we will!" he cooed, scratching his ears.  He scratched Eris's when she came closer too.  "You were so helpful.  Your daddy must be very proud of you."  She ran back to Bobby, who petted her.  "I'll get good doggy treats."  He undid the alarms on the porsche and slid in, heading for the pet store.

The cop looked at Bobby.  "Is he always like that?"

Bobby nodded.  "Yeah, 'fraid so.  We'll be yelling later."

Jack nodded.  "Definitely."  His people moved in to get the rest of them.  He hauled the woman up, putting her in cuffs himself then walking her off.  "You never saw this, Officer."

"Of course not, sir.  Never saw you guys, them, the decadely spirits floating off.  None of it.  As a matter of fact, I have a migraine and I'm going to wake up from my nap at the station as soon as I get back there."  He went to his car to call in then head back to tell his boss that.  "Sir, Colonel O'Neill agreed I have a migraine I'll wake up from soon so I didn't see anything around St. Peter's or anything Mr. Harris did to protect us all.  Can I finish having my headache in the break room?"

"Take a shower first.  You stink like Harris."  He nodded, going to do that then take a nap.  He called the house, getting someone sleepy.  "Why did one of my guys have a migraine from Mr. Harris and how he saved everyone in the city?"  The voice grumbled something about spanking him before hanging up.  "Yes, someone should," he told the phone.

***

Bobby walked into the house, finding Xander doing sit ups using the couch to hold his feet.  "Boy, you're insane."

"Isn't that a matter of opinion?" Xander panted as he worked.  He finally collapsed to pant, looking at him.  "I was doing some birthday shopping.  Her treat's on the counter away from Bogart."

"Thanks."  He walked her in there to get his dog her own plate of treat.  Bogart was still licking his plate.  "Do we eat off these plates?"

"The dishwasher sterilizes," Xander called.

"Still dog germs."

"Use the blue plates then.  Those are the old ones."  He finished catching his breath then went back to his sit ups.  His abs didn't look good at the moment.

John came out of his room, looking over the back of the couch.  "Why are you up already?"

"I went to pick up Sam and Faith's birthday presents."  He did another one.

"That Jack guy said he'd be over soon," Bobby called from the kitchen.  "He's using the set of four plates for the dog?"

"The dishwasher cleans and sterilizes them," Xander called impatiently.

John walked into the kitchen.  "What did he do?"

"Xander, why did a cop want me to spank you?" Sam called.

"No idea.  I was being good," he panted.

John, Sam, and Bobby all looked at the living room.  Even the dogs snorted at that one.

"He did what?" John asked.

"Oh, saved the spirits going to be eaten.  Got to see that Jack guy again."  Eris barked.  "Got stolen by a higher demon but he left most of the stuff he came back with at the church.  Apparently they had a revolt.  The dogs were helpful."

John went into the living room.  "Xander," he said, sitting next to where his feet were anchored.  "What did you do earlier?  You know you're not allowed out alone."

"I went to a few very monitored places," he defended.  "I was picking up birthday presents.  I can't do that with them in the car."

"No, you can't.  You could have asked me and I'd have went."

"You were asleep and the dog was with me.  I even had my usual knife until my instincts started to scream.  Then I picked something up and got out of the way to see what was going on."  He did another sit up.  "When I figured out it was a Jack sorta problem I tried to call but he never answered.  I tried Daniel's phone too.  Still no answer, so I stopped that one with the cop that decided to follow me when my instincts went off.  Then I went to see why the souls were being leaked around a church.  After Bobby, one of the priests, and I handled it, the higher demon I got out of one of the police Captains earlier tried for me.  Called me a girl too but he was really sorry when I made him into one and then led a revolt.

"We came back and I left all but a few scrolls they thought were important.  Then I found more of the Jack style thing were around and they called one like me but I kicked her butt," he said proudly.  "They wanted slaves."  He did another one sit up.  Fabulous abs did not come from slacking off.  "Jack got them.  The nice officer went to have a migraine.  I came home after getting the good dogs a treat."  The dogs ran out to lick him, making him stop to pet and play with them.  "There's my good puppies!  So good and helpful.  You helped that revolt very well!  They even named you heros of the uprising."

John mentally sighed.  Some days he wasn't sure Xander wasn't insane or suicidal.  He really wasn't.

Sam walked out talking on the phone.  "He's fine, Daniel.  Doing sit ups and now playing with the dog and Bobby's dog.  Are they all right?"  He smiled.  "That's good to know.  Sure, we're here."  He hung up then pulled Xander up, looking into the brown eyes.  He saw the hesitant look.  "I would've went and ignored what you were getting.  Dad would've went with you."

"You were sleeping.  You needed it.  I took Bogart.  We were only picking up.  It was good until I ran into the possessed captain."

Sam frowned.  "If you had been taken we wouldn't have heard for hours, Xander."

"I got back really quickly.  Just ask Bobby."

"Bobby?"

"Within a few seconds."

"Good."  He smiled at him.  "We would've went.  I should spank because you should have called for backup when you ran into problems."  Xander went limp against him.  He smirked.  "Nice try."  Xander whimpered pitifully.  "Next time we will call?"  Xander nodded.  "And we will not hormone the whole block to get the bad guys?  We'll call for help?"

"I did try to call Jack and Daniel."

"They were in a briefing.  Their phones were off."

"See, I did.  I even had an officer with me."

"Because he found you out alone and was probably worried."

"Only after my instincts went off.  Then I moved to observe to see what sort of help needed to be called."

Sam sighed, resting his forehead against Xander's.  "Don't do it again."

"How many times have you had this talk?" Bobby asked.

"This is the first one.  Each time he gets into trouble he gets into unique trouble," Sam assured him.  Dean came out of his bedroom giving them an odd look.  "He was picking up mine and Faith's birthday present."

Dean nodded.  "Alone?"

"I had the dog.  I only had to pick up until the possessed captain tried for me."

"I should spank," Dean noted.

"You do and you're going to be regrowing that hand," Xander shot back.

Dean smirked.  "Fine.  Dad?"

"He knew better than to go out alone."

"I can handle ten minutes or so.  I had Bogart.  I was a good boy.  I wasn't even that backed up and now I'm not at all."

"Why?" Dean asked.

"Jack sorta issues happened and I had to hormone them to make them beg since it was me and a cop and Bobby and the dogs."

Dean groaned.  Bobby handed him a plate.  "Is that people food?"

"Dog treat."

Dean nodded.  "The dishwasher sterilizes them.  We make him run them through twice."  He put it down and Eris snuffled it before licking it.  He patted her gently on the head.  "Good girl for protecting my boy.  You too, Bogart."  He petted their dog.  Then he noticed the collar.  "Who put that on you?"

"The demon."

Dean groaned, taking off the diamond and emerald human collar he was wearing.  He got Eris's too, handing them to Bobby.  He looked at Xander, who dug out one of Bogart's fancier collars.  "No.  That's too girly for our dog, Xander."  It still had gemstones on it.  That was clearly a society dog collar.

"It looks good on him."

"It's ...  I don't care.  Leather, nylon, not jewelry."

"Fine," he complained, getting the leather collars out for them.  Dean put it on then Bogart licked him before running outside.  Eris followed so they could lounge in the sun.

"You two're spoiled," Bobby called after them.  Bogart barked, sounding happy.  He shook his head, taking the plates back into the kitchen for them to be soaked.  He came out.  "Now what?"

"We wait for Jack to stomp down and yell," Dean told him.

Sam shook his head.  "He said he'll be yelling later tonight."

"I have to box up and wrap stuff," Xander said.

"You can do that in the study when you put all the jewelry up," Dean said.  Xander grimaced but did that.  Including his new earring.  Dean flopped down on the couch, looking at his father, who shook his head quickly.  Xander bounced out to the car then back in with a handful of bags.  Then back out for another one then back in.

"Is that all presents?" Sam called after him.

"No comment.  It's a lot less than it looks like."

"Okay."  Sam sat down, looking at his brother and father.  "Bobby?"

"Someone had to.  I was heading for the woods to work on her training when I saw the spirit column."  John moaned.  "I found the boy handling things but the cop was staring at him like he was strange.  Also, did he go out with a high powered taser?"

"No," John said slowly.  "I didn't know we had one."  Eris brought one out for him a minute later.  "Thanks, Eris."  He scratched her ears then she ran back outside to play with her buddy.

Bobby shook his head.  "She's a good dog.  Training very well.  Guarded the boy very well.  Took his free side to guard him.  Your dog did the same."  Dean grinned, he had been working on that training.  John patted him on the shoulder.  Sam grinned.  "He did okay."

"Thank you," Xander called.  "The drawer's stuck."

Sam grabbed his lockpicks out of his room then went to help.  "That's because it's full, Xander.  Why?"

"I don't know," he moaned.

Sam kissed him on the head.  "We'll find out."  A guard appeared with a letter.  "What's this?  From Vesvold?"

"He's throwing a fit, sir."

"Why?  Did someone hurt him?" Xander demanded, standing up.  "Because I will go end something's life, no matter what the hell it is."

"No, he's a bit peeved at the higher one who tried for you earlier.  Apparently that revolt complicated something."

"Oops?"

"He doesn't blame you.  He knows these things happen to you, sir."  He handed Sam the letter before disappearing.

Sam sat in the desk chair to read it, pulling Xander into his lap.  "Hey, Dean, want to come in here please?"

Dean strolled in, taking the letter Sam held out while cuddling Xander.  "Uh-huh."  He looked in the drawer then sighed, shaking his head.  "I have no idea what to do about this."

"Can we give more of it to that church since they run a homeless shelter?"

"You gave them an ankle high pile of jewelry and clothes," Bobby said as he walked past the doorway.  "Anyone want coffee?"

"Please," Dean said.

"Please," Sam agreed.

John walked in to get the letter.  "This is bad."

"He took me," Xander defended.  "I got him out of the captain.  I didn't want him to take me and he called me a girl!  I had to fight back.  Since he took me I ruined his realm for him and freed the others he had.  They helped me fight to overthrow him.  They're in control now."

"They said they're regents for you," Dean told him, letting him read the letter.

Xander snorted and looked up.  "Let them have it.  They had to live with the thing.  They can rule it together as an effective council."

Vesvold appeared.  "No they can't, Xander.  You can give it to them but they've already said they don't want it.  They've asked me to find them more compassionate keepers up there since they're half demons for the most part and want to stay with a demonic keeper.  They're going to be taking bidders for months."  Xander got up to give him a cuddle.  He sighed.  "It was the right thing to do.  He wasn't particularly nice to them."

"He told me I was female because I take it."

"I know you're not.  You had to beat him for that insult."  He kissed him gently, earning a smile.  "They still do not want it.  There's no heir."

"Let Jack move the new one that tried to get us all as slaves there?"

"I'll talk with Jack in a bit."  He patted him on the butt.  "Behave.  You'll look stunning in some of those pieces."  He smirked then disappeared.

Bobby handed Xander his laced cup of coffee.  "With holy water."

"That was Vesvold."

"You still got taken earlier."

Xander drank it without any more complaint, even if it did burn a bit in his mouth.  Down his throat too so something he had eaten during the revolt was not sitting well with him.  He went to puke it back up and Bobby fed him more until he was clear.  Then Sam got to fuss over Xander in that huge antique bed he had.

Dean looked in the bags, nodding in appreciation.  "He has some good taste."  He let them go and went to make breakfast.  He ended up making more for Daniel when he showed up.  "Problems?"

"Many.  She tried to do the same thing.  We showered her with cold water.  She was not happy and pouted at us.  Teal'c was not impressed.  Told her she was more pouty than Xander was and he would make a perfect concubine since he could protect his owner and she couldn't.  Now she's offended and pouty."  He smiled at Sam when he came out.  "Was Xander hurt?"

"A bit tainted by the demons.  He puked up some holy water.  He's resting.  Was it a huge problem?"

"No, they were going to take us over to make us slaves.  We'll handle it and make them sorry they showed up.  No one downtown created a problem about anything.  Apparently it happens every decade.  The city's used to it.  They clear out for the most part."

"We found out they're being harvested, not let go," Bobby told him.

"As long as it's solved, I don't care," Daniel said honestly.  "That's too strange for the military."

"Good," Xander called from his bedroom.  He padded out, hugging Daniel.  "Was she mean?  You can have some of the anti-backing up herbs."

"There are?"

"Of course there are but if you take too much you can die."

"I can make him a single dose," John promised.  "Xander, more than boxers in the kitchen."  Sam walked him back to bed.  "Sorry."

"Not a problem," Daniel promised with a slight grin.  He was getting used to Xander's ways with exposure.  "He was very helpful until we could get there.  He even sent us pictures of the original one."

"That's good," John agreed.

"What storage area was the captain talking about?"

"Don't ask," John and Dean said together.

"Should I tell Jack?"

"Only if you want him to pout about taking the rest of his pets," Dean said, taking a sip of his coffee.  He looked at it then at Bobby.  "Made it a bit strong."  Bobby snorted, smacking him on the arm.  "Sorry."

"Not a problem.  You boys gotta complain about something."

"Xander!" Sam complained.  "If you're sick you can't do that."

"See?" John said, shaking his head.  Daniel chuckled.  "Anything he has to know?"

"Nope.  Anything we should know?"

"The demon left him his realm," John said.

Dean nodded. "He led a revolt.  They've turned it down already.  The last one to say no gets it anyway."

"Wonderful.  Now what?"

"Now.... well, there's a lot of stuff in the drawer in the office," Dean admitted.  "If he wanted to open a store, he'd have a great inventory."

"That's one way to get rid of the gifts," Daniel said.

Dean nodded.  "Maybe sometime later in life."  John looked at him.  "With some hunters' supplies in the back."

"That might work," Bobby admitted.  "Hunters buy rings for their sweeties too."

Daniel smiled.  "I know why, guys."

"We know," Dean promised.  "Are you training?"

"Training?"

"The game."

"Um...."

Dean groaned, walking him outside to tell him the facts of immortal life.  Daniel groaned in return but he could train on the base with some limited weapons.  He could come down for some time with Dean or Sam later on.  Daniel went back to the base to report in about what had happened.  Jack was groaning but it was Xander so he expected something like that.  They would deal with the other stuff later, when Jack was out of hearing and camera range.  Jack could help him train.

Dean went to help Sam check on Xander since he was clearly in a playful mood.  Sam was back asleep with an arm around Xander's waist.  "Did you wear him out?" he taunted with an evil smirk.

"Well, yeah," he grinned back.  "Sorry."

"No you're not.  For that you should be punished."  Xander pouted.  Dean put his cup down and stripped, then sat on the foot of the bed, teasing himself.  Xander nearly drooled.  "Are you going to be a good boy?"

"Should I bark?"

"Maybe.  Are you?"  He groaned as he added a little twist of his wrist when his hand reached the head.  "Good boys get rewarded.  Bad boys get punished."

Xander swallowed.  "I try to be a good boy."

"Are you going to be good for the rest of the day?"

"Of course."  He tried to move but Sam held him down.  "Dean wants to reward me."

Sam blinked down at Dean then at Xander.  "You knew to call for help."  He held him down and snuggled in.  "Watch him, Xander.  Let him show you what to do next time."

"But...."  Dean let out a deeper moan, letting his thighs part and fall with his knees to the bed.  "I can."  He was staring.  Sam smiled at Dean, letting him do whatever he wanted until Xander was truly drooling.  Then he let him go, watching him pounce Dean onto the bed, licking across the head of his cock while he took over stroking and fondling duties.

"Oh, that's nice, Xander.  Take the hair down?"  Xander reached back to undo his braid.  Sam helped, letting it cascade around them.  Dean let him do whatever he wanted because this blowjob was *nice*.  He leaned back against the bedpost, letting Xander lick wherever he wanted.  Ball sucking?  Yeah, he was up for that.  Xander moved back and pulled Dean's hips further out for him to get easier access.   That tongue was a lethal weapon of distraction.  He didn't even mind when a finger joined it because that spot, that wonderful spot, was hit and he was blissed out on the jolts of pleasure running through him.  When one finger became two he blinked at Xander.  "Not tonight.  My birthday or yours."

Xander grinned.  "I could."

"My birthday or yours, Xander.  Make it special."

"I helped defeat an alien invasion."

"That is special," Sam teased.

"Bitch, come blow me if he is going to go there."

Sam blinked at him.  "Um, no.  Still weirded out by that thought.  Sorry."  He fled.

"Put on some clothes, Samuel.  I taught you better manners than that!" John yelled.

"Sorry!"  Sam fled to his room.

"Does he get that?" Dean asked.

Xander shrugged.  "Once."

Dean winced as the two fingers moved to three.  "Slower."  Xander went back to sucking him and it was nice.  Very nice.  He could get lost in that again.  Xander reached for something then it floated over to him.  "No magic in bed."

"If I did, I could stretch you that way."  He kissed his balls then licked over them and up to the head of the hard cock.  "Dean, can I?"

"Sure."  Xander grinned, going back to teasing him as he lubed him up better.  The slick stuff was warm.  It felt a bit funny but okay.  He tensed up a bit when Xander shifted up to kiss and nibble on his throat and lips.  A hand was teasing him and a hardness was trying to push in.  Xander shifted his hips for him then the pressure grew.  Finally it breached him and slid in.  Dean moaned, panting through it.  Xander made it good.  He took his attention until it felt better.  Then Xander shifted and it was good.  He could get used to this now and then.  Not all the time but for special occasions.

Xander hit that magic spot inside him and he saw stars.  He did it again and Dean's own GHSness came out to beg.  He'd never beg but that little part of him was making him.  He was begging so badly.  He was sure the others could hear but this felt too good to care.  Xander shifted his legs up over his shoulders and slid in harder.  "Yeah, like that!"  Xander kissed him again, riding him as hard as he wanted.  In, out, a slight twist of his hips at the apex of the thrust.  Some shallower ones then a good few slams in.  Dean wiggled off his back, flipping over for him.  Xander growled, teasing his back with his tongue while riding him.  Dean was going to lose his mind.

"Beg me, Dean.  Tell me," Xander whispered into his damp skin.

"Xander, God!"

"That's me," he agreed, nipping him hard before pulling back to ride him as hard as he could.  Dean whined but Xander came back again and again and again until Dean was howling in pleasure.  Then he finally came and Xander went over just after him, panting into his back.  He kissed the bite mark, then flopped down, pulling Dean with him.  Dean whimpered at the new thrust into his sensitized ass.  "Mine?"

"Yours," Dean agreed.  "The same as you're mine."  He could feel the smile.  His boy fell asleep, letting Dean wiggle free.  He flipped onto his other side.  Xander was already moving to trap him so he let him and relaxed.  He needed to nap off that strain.  Xander knew not to pin him in bed but he would cuddle him to death if he let him.  Dean wiggled a bit freer and Xander tried to follow so Dean flipped over Xander and held him instead.  That worked.  Xander sighed in pleasure and snored.

***

John looked down the hallway.  "I hear snoring, it's safe."

Bobby came out of the armory.  "I don't want to know what they did but my girl never made those sort of noises."

"It's probably a good thing she didn't call Xander's name," Sam teased.  Bobby swatted him but he grinned back.  "Think the toast's done?"  John nodded, nibbling on his.  Sam went back to cooking now that Dean wasn't being loud.  "Am I...."

"Yes," John interrupted.  "Most of the time, son."

"Sorry."

"You'll figure out how to muffle the sound in there even if you do have to put up some more insulation," Bobby assured him.  When Dean finally wandered out Bobby smirked at the way he was walking.  "Bit sore?" he teased.

"Not one word.  He decided it was a special occasion after helping this morning."  He sat down.  Sam got him some coffee and he stole his father's plate.  "Xander should be fully down at the moment."

"I'm proud, son."

"Not all my doing.  Daniel said he let loose on them."  He dug in, humming as he ate.  Xander came wobbling in.  "Xander, clothes."  Xander turned around and wandered back to the bedroom.  Dean shook his head but went back to eating.  He'd probably need his energy later.  The phone rang so he snatched it.  "What?"  He listened.  "Hey, Xander, Steve's on the phone!"  He listened to him complain.  "Why is that a problem, Steve?  Didn't he make more than that recently?"  He nodded at the information he got.  "Which end is it on?"  He smiled.  "Leave that end alone for now.  Concentrate on the ones closer?"  He grinned.  "That'll work.  Thanks, Steve.  Yeah, we're good.  Kinda.  What was on the news?  Oh, the spirits.  Yeah, that was Xander's hair and butt.  They solved it.  It's fine.  At least you didn't get to see him in hero mode after that."  He ate a bite of breakfast but let Xander sit on his leg.  "Steve was complaining that three of the houses in the neighborhood on the other end of the street are up for sale."

"Don't worry about those.  Worry about closer."  He took the phone.  "Hi, Steve.  Had to put on clothes.  Napping off my celebration."  He kissed Dean on the forehead.  "Actually, I might be able to solve that.  I did get some more presents."  Steve let out a deep, guttural moan.  "Not my fault the demon wanted me and I led a revolt.  His concubines said no faster than I did.  I know, I should tattoo it somewhere on me so they only have to look.  Maybe on a buttcheek so I can point to it and the lipstick kiss I'd put underneath it."  Steve, John, and Bobby all laughed.

"No tattoos," Dean said.  "I'm not sure if they'd work or not."

"Nope.  I asked Adam."  Xander went back to listening. "I'm told there is one but they have to embed it magically."  Steve went over what he had in the bank and in what areas.  "Steve, you know very well I have no idea what you're talking about beyond savings, checkings, and Steve deals with it categories, right?"  Steve said something smart.  "I know but still.  Even with me not being backed up it doesn't mean a whole lot to me.  Sure, come on down.  Bring a friend for when we close on that other house.  There's some good spas in town and some nice shopping."  Daniel walked in with the dogs.  "And an anthropologist who was helping earlier that probably wants to ask more questions about how I sent a whole bunch of bad guys to their knees earlier with my hormones.  Why would your brother's partner care?  Oh, he is?  Sure, bring him down if I haven't met him at the conventions.  Thanks, Steve."  He hung up.  "Steve'll be down the weekend that we get back from Boston."

"That's fine," John agreed.  "Which house was up for sale?  I haven't seen a sign."

"The blue house.  The drug dealer's house will be going up soon at auction.  The neighbor between us and the blue house is being moved to DC soon so hers is going up.  That'll give us a bit more protection in case something happens again.  Plus so we can take a challenge off holy ground."  He looked at Dean.

"He wouldn't leave."

"Ares said he blocked any harmful side effects since you were near the border of it."

"Thank you.  What's up, Daniel?"

"I came to ask Xander some more nosy questions."

"Let him eat first," Sam ordered.  Daniel nodded.  "Want some?"

"No thank you.  I'm good.  Jack and Sam are figuring out how they got down here."  He pulled a spare chair over to sit in it.  "Do you all know about this game?"  Bobby nodded.  "How?"

"Sam nearly died in front of us," John said.  "Xander died during a snatching.  Dean died during their learning road trip.  Sam found out first and told us not to worry because otherwise we'd think what those other hunters thought.  That they had taken a demonic deal."

"There's another immie hunting," Xander told him.  They all looked at him.  "He showed up, got out of the car, saw me and groaned.  Asked me if that's how the rumors got started.  I nodded.  He asked how the others knew and I pointed out that we got snatched and stuff so they assumed when Dean got stabbed and it healed one day where he couldn't hide it very well.  He said he'd talk to them for us about not having taken a deal.  That it was forced on them thanks to the demons who want me.  Oh, Daniel, that one this morning gave me a realm.  Want a realm?"

"No, not really."

"Me either."  A messenger demon appeared, handed over a sealed note, then left.  Xander read it.  "Shoot.  Vessie said I can't give it away, sell it, or auction it off this time."

"Maybe we can store some of the presents over there," Sam suggested.  Dean nodded, liking that idea.

"Would others be able to steal it?" John asked.

Xander shrugged.  "I'm going to let them take back their ill-timed presents if they want, John.  That way it doesn't look like I'm encouraging them."

"That's a good idea," he agreed.  One appeared next to Sam.  He held out the box with a worshipful look.  "You do realize Sammy's a demon hunter?" he asked dryly.

"He can hunt me down any day," the demon moaned.  "Please, Master Sam?"

"Xander's my only pet," he said, giving it a look.  "I'm not taking acolytes either."

The demon pouted.  "Not even when you go evil?"

"I'm not going to go evil.  If I do, Dean and Xander will have to hunt me down and beat me until I give it up.  The same as I would if they went bad."

"He's a pet, he can't do much," he laughed.

Xander pulled the demon over, looking into his eye stalks.  "Do you know who I am without the hormones?" he asked patiently.  The demon slowly shook his head.  "Xander Harris.  Buffy's Xander."  The demon swallowed.  "That one, yes.  The one the Powers hate beyond everything because I created the two slayer problem.  If anyone's going to go dark, it's me because I'm also a berserker."  He smiled sweetly, then patted it on the head.  "Sam is not accepting presents except from his family and friends on his birthday.  Only I get to spoil Sam.  Anyone else tries and they'll get to paddle me when I ruin *that* realm too."  The demon moaned.  "Am I clear?"

"Yes, Lord Xander.  Very clear."  He bowed.  "Thank you for correcting me."

"You're welcome.  Remember, I never intend to ruin realms that way unless you piss me off."  The demon nodded faster and left with his present.

"You go evil and I'm going to spank," Dean assured him.  "Then Sammy will.  Then Dad will, Xander."

"I know.  That's why I'm not going to go evil this year."  He grinned.  "Why would I want to rule the world?  It's a lot of headaches and paperwork.  I'd have to hormone them all and then take over while letting them work things out in the bedroom.  It'd be nice but bad of me.  Even Adam would spank for that."  He slid out of Dean's lap.  "I'm going to go back to my sit ups.  My abs are flabby again and I can't have that."

"They're rock hard," Sam corrected, pulling him into his lap.  "We'll keep each other from going evil," he said with a grin.  Xander grinned back, kissing him.  Sam pulled back.  "Brush your teeth?"

"I did!"

"Thank you."  He dove in again, making his boy happy.  "I only need one present."

"You're only getting two."

"Then I can accept that."  Faith walked in.  "Have a good run in the park?"

"Pretty decent.  The military's all over town today.  Must be a free roaming day."  She got herself some coffee and put on another pot before coming over to wiggle into the free spot between Dean and John.  "What's the DT?  Hi, Daniel."

"Hi, Faith.  I came to find out more about how Xander stopped a problem this morning.  Which is why we're all over town."  She reached over to smack Xander, getting a hurt look.  "It was good he was there.  No one else would've seen and it would've been harder to stop them."

"That's why I sent the pictures," Xander told him.

"That was a good idea.  That way we knew what and who we were dealing with."  He smiled.  "How did you do that?"

"Um, huh."  He frowned then walked him into the study to go over the book Adam had handed him about how to put blocks on the hormones so you don't leak them all over.  The book would probably have all the answers he wanted.  Not like Xander had a science background.  He bounced back into the kitchen, getting his breakfast from Sam.  Faith too.  Dean went to get a shower and then get dressed for the day, again, but Sam was content to sit around in his sweats with him.

Dean came back, looking at Xander and how he was sitting on his hair.  "Xander, I think it's time to cut some of the hair off."

"I like my hair."

"Not all of it, just a trim," Sam told him.  "Is it longer than your wires?"  Xander nodded at that.  "Then it should be trimmed to fit inside that.  Otherwise it's a liability in a fight."

"Good point I guess," he sulked.

"How about a good foot?" Dean suggested.  "That's this much," he measured with his hands.  "So it'd be here again," he said with a finger to the right area of Xander's back.  "It'd get rid of the split ends and where you've got a few shorter pieces that bother you when you braid it."

"That might still be longer than his wires," Sam said.

"Wires?" Bobby asked.

"He has this leather and wire set that he can braid into his hair for battles.  The wires are thin, sharp, and will cut through leather and softer metals," Dean told him.  Bobby shuddered.  "It means no one can grab his hair in the middle of a fight and use it against him."

"It also makes it harder to cut it off," Xander agreed.

"We can get one of them out and braid it to see where we need it trimmed to."  Sam went to get one and came out to do that for him.  Just a sloppy braid but that was fine.

"Ah!  Not that sort!" John said, taking the small band he was going to use to mark the spot.  "That means he's your mate or ownership."

"Oops."  He marked it by hand.  Dean got a few pieces with a kitchen knife.  "Now we need to cut to that area."  He kissed Xander once his hair was undone.  "That's to here," he said, running a finger along that line on Xander's back.  "Still more than long enough to do everything with."

"I don't know how he stands having that sort of hair," Faith said.  "I know I couldn't."

"You get used to it," Xander said with a grin.  "Even if Dean does complain when I wear hair sticks or pins to bed."

"Poking hurts," he complained.  "When are we going to the hairdresser for a new conditioning treatment?"  Xander went to call her.  He smiled at Sam.  "Thank you," he said quietly.  "He was sitting on it."

"I don't mind it if he doesn't but I don't want it to be a liability.  The hair blanket I get some nights is very comfortable."

"I always end up tangled up in it."  He sat down.  Xander came back.  "When can she work you in?"

"Later tonight.  She'll leave later."  He sat in Dean's lap this time, earning a smile from everyone.  "I'm meant to be lap bait."

"You are," Dean agreed, shifting him.  "But that kinda hurt, Xander."  He got a kiss of apology.  "Thanks.  Get me more coffee?"  Xander did that and got himself a soda too.  They waited on Daniel to come out of the study.  Or squeak at the present drawer Dean couldn't shut earlier.  Daniel finally came out reading so they got him some coffee and made him read in the sun.  He never seemed to get out of the mountain these days.  He'd come find them later when he wanted to ask questions.  Dean and Xander went back to wrapping Sam and Faith's presents for their birthdays.  Faith and John went to look around the grounds.  Bobby got to work training Eris to listen to him instead of Xander.  It was good of her but she was his dog, not the boy's.

***

Daniel walked onto his base later that night, nodding at the guards as he signed in.  "Anything going on?"

"No sir, but the General was looking for you."

"I'm heading there now.  I have a lot of answers for him."  He used his pass on the elevator, getting in to start the long trip into the mountain.  Thirty stories later he came out onto the main SGC floor with the general and Sam Carter waiting on him.  "I have read the book they give the new GHS members about how to put on blocks and broadcast."

"Good," she said.  "Anything useful since the Tok'ra claim they're peaceful people who are good?"

"Yes."  He walked off with them.  "There's a blood test to tell who is and who isn't GHS."

"Interesting," the general agreed.  "We let the ones who aren't dangerous go?"

"The others based on whether or not they're going to be a pain in our asses again, sir," Daniel offered.  That got a smirk.  "The main one, no."  He walked into the lab, getting a piece of chalk from McKay to write it on the board.  "This is the chemical component that reacts with their level.  The darker it is, the higher they are.  Xander's test showed Dean in the orange/reddish range.  Xander's was fully black."

"So the lesser ones we'll be able to tell with a few drops of blood in a litmus paper style test," Sam said.  Daniel pulled out the test kit he had borrowed.  She looked it over.  "Not that hard to do."

McKay leaned over to look.  "What is this for?"

"Testing certain types of hormone levels," Sam Carter said quietly, glancing around.

"They're off in the commissary eating dessert to mope because I made Miss Rosenburg work in Botany today."

"Buffy's training is going well," she offered.  "Can we make our own?"

"I have to give most of that back to Xander," Daniel said.  "Can we make the three bottles since the testing strip is simple gauze?"

McKay read the bottles and got what they needed together.  It wasn't that hard to mix.  "How long have they had this?"

"They formed the group in the sixteen hundreds.  They found out it was hormones almost as soon as they found the existence of hormones.  The testing kit since the late fifties, early sixties."

"Interesting."  McKay tested it on his own blood.  "Of course, nothing.  Which does make me incredibly pleased."

"There are the pleasures of the mind," Daniel said dryly.  "Xander said they're not his but there may be some lower levels that are."  Sam held out a piece of gauze.  "I tested mine earlier to see the effects.  Non registering."  She tested hers then they took the small bit of Xander's blood he had come back with to test.  That showed up in the dark red/black range.  "He's not backed up today."

"After this morning I'd hope not," she complained.  They took their test kit to test the alien's blood in the infirmary.  Janet had pulled more than enough for them.  The six GHS they found were mostly in committed relationships.  The General gathered them to talk to them about how they wanted to turn others into them.  Most got the point and said they'd never be back.  The one who didn't, the one in charge, was the problem.  The rest were let free but she was going to stay in custody.  Maybe they'd get Xander to talk to her.  Or maybe they'd let the Tok'ra take her and talk to her when she did it to them instead.  They'd figure that out tomorrow.  Daniel subtly tested some of Jack's blood when he came in from practice with a cut.  Non registering.  Buffy and Willow's were the same when McKay tested them.  Thankfully.

There was one airman who did register but he gave them an alarmed look when called in and he saw what was on the table.  He knew but he was hiding it and dealing with it.  The general got to ask all the questions he wanted about strategic use in the field.  Daniel gave him the book he had borrowed and told him how Xander could think his higher if needed to escape.  The guy nodded he could try that.  As long as he didn't turn into a lab rat.  They agreed it wasn't going to come to that.  But if it helped on a field team he'd be put on one.  They all agreed that was reasonable.  It's be a great help to a rescue team.

***

Dean looked up as Xander slid down next to him on the couch, frowning at the key ring he was holding out.  "What's that for?"  It was a few days before Sam's birthday but he wasn't expecting presents too.  He wasn't sure how Xander had gotten them either since he had been locked in the house after the alien thing a week back.

"The rings around the top are the color of which car they go to.  That way there's an extra set if something happens."

Dean took them to look at.  "Thanks, Xander."  He got a kiss.  "You didn't have to."

"Did so.  I've already lost the keys to the porsche once.  Faith found them thankfully.  You need them for safety reasons beyond the usual reasons.  This way you have a set.  Bobby's got a set too."

"Not Dad?"

"I figured he'd get Bobby's set if he needs them."

Dean grinned.  "He probably could."  He took a kiss.  "One laying around the house too?"

"Yup."

"Good."  He gave him the cuddle he wanted.  The keys went into his pocket.  That meant he could drive the porsche again sometime soon.  The dog started to bark before whoever knocked on the door.  "Sammy!"

"I can get it."  He bounced over to answer it.  "Steve!"  He gave him a hug.  "Hi, you're early."

"I'm going to Boston with you.  I need to see what we're liquidating again."  He pulled someone in.  "This is Blair Sandburg."

Xander stared at him.  He knew the look on his face.  "Your partner didn't like it?"

"Nope."

"Meany."  He gave him a hug too.  "It'll be okay, Blair.  We're used to us around here."  He walked them into the study.  "See, even a messy desk, Steve.  I was working on the budget again."

Steve looked.  "Not bad.  I don't know why you planned six hundred for movies."

"They're expensive to buy.  I'm branching into anime since it was an earlier love."

Blair smiled.  "It's good you've set yourself up this way, Xander."  He looked around.  "This is nice."

"Very but I'm hardly ever in here these days.  Go ahead and sit.  The present drawer is still stuck slightly open, Steve.  The other box is in the closet."  He pulled it out and over for him.  "There."  He walked Blair off.  "I have an anthropologist who wanted to ask more nosy questions because he caught me using mine offensively.  Can you speak his language for me?"

"I can.  That's my field too, Xander."

"Cool!"  He called Daniel.  "I have an anthropologist down here.  Steve brought him.  He does know.  Thank you.  And bring back my testing kit?  Sam's claiming he's not backed up and won't let me help.  Thanks, Danny."  He hung up and bounced off to get drinks then to babble at Blair.  Blair could babble back so he was great!

Daniel showed up with Jack, who went to talk to Dean about an upcoming problem they wanted Xander out of the city for.  Daniel was pointed out back when he found Steve.  Xander and Blair were learning a lot about each other.  He knew that guy.  "Sandburg, right?"

"Yeah."  He looked.  "Jackson.  Strange pyramid theories?"

"Sentinels?"

"Classified," Blair said.

"Ditto."  Xander slipped away while they sat down to talk to each other.  Somehow they got food and drinks an hour later and didn't realize it either.  They were too busy talking to each other about their fields and what they knew in common.

Jack looked out from the back door.  "Geek lust," he complained.

Xander bopped him on the arm.  "Daniel deserves to be happy."

Jack looked at him.  "I need him in the field now and then."

"Steve said Blair used to follow his brother, Detective Ellison, into the field all the time."

"Really?"  Xander nodded.  "Where is Steve?"

"Office groaning at the presents.  Fondling maybe."

"I'll knock first," he decided, going to talk to him about Blair.  "Hey."  Steve looked up.  "Pulling out your hair?"

"Not as much as I could be."  He smiled.  "What's going on?"

"They're in geek lust."

"That's good.  Blair could use it.  Jim had a GHS case recently where one was overloaded and went off by accident.  Got stolen, that stuff."  Jack groaned.  "He saved him and they knew Blair.  Talked to Blair, Blair got them talked down and into lessening it with some of the herbs.  Jim apparently set up an unholy racket later that night with the argument.  Blair pointed out his was under control at the moment and it wasn't affecting anything.  They've been together for a few years and he knew Jim was going to be uncomfortable so he never told him.  Jim kicked him out and it's bad back at home.  That's why I'm early."

Jack nodded.  "Daniel and he seem to be great friends for just meeting."

"Good.  Blair makes a lot of contacts but not a lot of true friends."  He smiled.  "Yes, if he was offered he might move.  I don't know what Jim would do.  Jim's senses depend on Blair being around."

"Huh?"

"How high is your classified materials rating?  They rated Jim about a fourteen."

"Eighteen."

"Jim's a sentinel.  Enhanced senses.  Blair's his guide.  The one who teaches him how to use them and keeps him out of a coma when they go haywire."

Jack grimaced.  "Would not having Blair send him off the deep end?"

"Probably but Jim's being a jackass.  Blair said he found a few other guide candidates so they may work instead.  You'd have to ask Blair that question."

"I'd need to get him approved first," Jack admitted.  Steve handed over the phone from the desk.  He called.  "General Hammond, Jack O'Neill.  No, we're fine.  No invasions, no kidnapings, nothing like that at the moment."

"They're already back and I was highly insulted," Xander said as he walked past the door.  "Daniel's in the shower and Blair's in mine."

"Thanks, kid."  He listened.  "They're fine.  Blair?  That's Blair Sandburg, sir."  He waited while he looked up his name.  "So he told everyone he lied to cover up the truth, but he didn't lie....  Sounds like Daniel's earlier problems with his ideas.  Well, sir, actually, I think they can get along *very* well."  He smirked because the general had caught the hint.  "I know that, General, but contractors aren't.  Danny's still a civilian."  He nodded.  "You could, yeah.  Can Blair stay here for a few days?"

"We are.  Then we're going to Boston for the convention."

"That's great.  Here for a few days, sir, then the convention in Boston.  Yes, that one.  Sure, I'll ask him.  Thanks, sir."  He hung up and went to find Daniel in the bathroom.  He closed the door, staring at him.  "How good is it?" he asked bluntly.

"Jack, what are you talking about?"

"You and the new geek."  Daniel blushed.  "Talked to Hammond."

"Jack!"

"Calm down.  He said he's recruitable."

"Really?"

"Really."  He opened the door.  "Tell us by the end of the convention?"

"I can do that but I'm not going to Boston."

"So go lurk nearby, Danny boy."  He walked off, going to talk to Blair.  "He gets a bit loud when you say things that shock him."

Blair smiled.  "Most people do.  Some people make it an artform."  He pointed where Xander was squealing over something Steve had brought with him.  "From a very nice, special chocolate shop in Las Vegas.  Apparently it's squeal worthy."

Jack smiled.  "Then it's probably good for the kid."  He looked at him.  "Do you have any idea what we do?"

"Some.  I've seen his theories in the past.  Saying it was classified earlier was like confirming it's at least partially true but you can't speak about it."

"We have a whole anthropology and languages department, Sandburg."

"I...  Well I may have a job to go back to.  I'm not real sure," he admitted.

"Tell us by the end of the convention in Boston.  See if you two are more squeal than fire."

"Gotcha."

"Good.  I'm leaving Danny for dinner," he said more loudly.

Xander looked at him.  "That means I have to cook."  He rushed to find what was in the kitchen.  John shooed him out and ordered.  "Hey!  I can cook!"

"You can cook later.  We've got to use a few of the things before heading to Boston.  Did we make the flight reservation, Steve?"

"Private plane plus your truck and the Impala," he agreed.  Xander beamed at him for it.  He felt his insides warm up and his mind go gooey.  Sam kissed Xander and it ended.  "That's a strong gift."

"Yes it is," Dean agreed.  He pulled Xander into his lap.  "What do we need to bring with us?"

"We'll figure that out tomorrow.  Along with weather concerns for clothes."  They all nodded.  "Now I know why the organization doesn't make plans too far in advance.  You'd forget."

Xander stuck his tongue out at him.  "Do not."

"You would."

"Keep it up and I'll recommend a few others talk to you about their money."

"Are they going to have demon suitors too?"

"Probably not."

"Then that's fine.  I've been living off my commission from you since I turned in the track's owner for a lot of problems."  John smirked at that.  "He pays me well."

"You and the trainer.  Did we tell him, boys?"

"Practice is tomorrow.  We were going to tell him then," Dean told him.  "Give him a long weekend."

"That's reasonable," Steve agreed.  "The later classes are set up to start next month on his recommendation.  You'll be going there but it's a small class situation so you should still be pretty safe."  Xander nodded at that.  "Good."  He looked at John.  "Do I need to write out a check for dinner?"

"I used his card."

Steve smiled.  "It's nice when places take them over the phone."  Daniel and Blair came out talking.  Jack snuck out past Daniel, stranding him there for a bit.  The two scientists were deep in a discussion about an ancient language Xander had probably heard of but no one else had.

"Is that one of the squiggly line languages or one of the picture languages?" Xander asked.

"Squiggly line ones," Blair told him.  "You have two books in it in the library."

"Oh, okay."  He grinned.  "Research.  Kinda sucked but we had research parties with food so it made it better."

"You are *so* backed up, dude," Sam complained.

Xander stuck his tongue out.  "Not my fault."

Dean kissed him.  "We'll fix it later, Xander."  Xander nodded, getting comfortable next to him.  They made a striking picture.  Even Steve was looking appreciative.  John got dinner when it came and it was all good again.   They could relax, watch the geeks get to know each other better, and see if they could arrange for Blair to be married to the military like Daniel was.

***

Xander walked into the convention hotel, looking around.  "It's awfully quiet for one of our conventions.  Is everyone asleep with jetlag?"

"They're all in the conference rooms, sir."  She took the sheet Steve held out with the reservation, checking him in.  "I see you have a three bedroom suite?"  Xander nodded.  "And another room?"

"For me," Steve said.  "So I don't keep him up working on his bank accounts."

"That's fine, sir."  She handed over key cards.  "There you go.  If you need anything just dial eight on the phone, sir.  Convention registration is back through the double doors and to the right."

"Thank you."  He walked that way, nearly bouncing again.  He saw the desk girl and she squealed, bouncing up to hug him.  "Am I late?  The pilot decided to divert near Illinois for some reason."

"No, not in the least.  We're doing the pre-convention chatting and bragging, Xander."  She signed him in then the rest of them.  She looked at Blair.  "Are you a keeper, sir?"

He pulled out his card.  "It's a bit old but Xander brought me."

"Ah.  Broke up?"

"Kinda."

She smiled, making him a convention packet too.  "There you go."  She looked at Steve.

"Just an escort and his financial person," he said quickly, earning a smile.  "I'm here to keep the shopping to a minimum unless he cashes out a present."

"There's someone coming in tomorrow to talk about that.  You might want to talk to him, sir."  She handed over a sheet on that talk.  "There you go.  Adam's somewhere inside, Xander."

"Thank you."  He kissed her then walked inside dragging Blair with him.  "I'm being a good boy and helping Blair with his arranged marriage," he quipped at one odd look.

"Arranged marriage?" Sam asked.

"We arranged for them to meet.  They hit it off.  Daniel's married to his job and Blair can be his second spouse."

Blair laughed.  "That does kind of fit, yeah."  He waved at a few people he knew, getting smiles back.  Adam was talking with a tall brunette man.  "We can wait."

"No we can't.  I get hugging rights even if Ray does growl.  Adam said so."  He gave him a hug, grinning at him.  "Hi."

"You finally made it."

"The pilot wanted to divert over Illinois for some reason."

"Hormoned?" the brunette teased.

"Yup," Sam agreed.  "Hi, Sam Winchester.  This is Xander Harris.  Dean's around here somewhere.  We're Xander's keepers and lower levels ourselves."

"Tony DiNozzo.  NCIS now."  He shook their hands.  "Blair Sandburg?  We thought you had been taken."

"Only by college."  He gave Tony a hug.  "Xander set me up with another anthropologist recently.  We seem to be hitting it off pretty well."

"Congrats.  I'm still looking for a good keeper."  He grinned at Adam.  "Make some move to DC?"

"Then we might get Congress and that would be a bad thing," Xander pointed out.

Tony gave him an odd look.  "Why would we?"

"Last week he was half a block from where the local senator talking and the guy decided to find what was drawing him," Sam told him, getting a groan from Adam.

"Fortunately Jack drove him off," Blair agreed.

"Not my fault," Xander said weakly.  "I wasn't even backed up."

Adam gave him an odd look.  "You're sure?"

"Very.  I just got out of the spa.  I think he wanted to nibble on my hair.  It smelled good."  He let him sniff, getting a moan.

"He hadn't showered off after the sauna," Dean said as he joined them with a plate for Blair.  "Eat.  You missed breakfast."

"Thanks, Dean."

"Welcome."  He looked at the guy he didn't know.  "Hey.  Dean Winchester."  Tony blushed.  "Adopted.  Xander got adopted into the family too."

"That makes more sense."  He shook his hand.  "So what do you guys do?"

"Guard Xander," Sam and Dean said together, cracking Adam and Blair up.

"Our dad too.  Blair's future boss too," Dean added.

Blair nodded.  "I am thinking hard about taking Jack up on his offer.  It sounds like exciting work."  He nibbled on a covered berry.  "Oooh, that's good.  What is that?"

"Some of the cream stuff in the white fountain."  Blair went to get some more of it for dunking.  "We got him here safely and didn't have to do more than warn the pilot when he tried to divert," Dean told Adam.  "We wore Xander out last night and this morning and he still did it.  Could he be backed up in some strange way?"

"Perhaps one of his suitors is doing it?" he suggested.

"If so, I get to destroy somewhere else," Xander said happily.  Suddenly he felt much more clear headed.  "Hey, I think they quit."  He gave Tony a hug.  "How long have you been a member?  I didn't see you at the Las Vegas convention last year."

"About six years."

"That's pretty cool."  He looked at Adam.  "The stuff John and Steve supervised going upstairs has the new tapes.  They came out fantastic and Sam taught me how to teach what I was doing."

"Excellent."  He patted him on the back.  "Xander is one of our rare level tens.  He's not one of the ones who straddle the border like so many do."

"My hormones are in the stratosphere," Xander agreed, cracking Tony up.  "They can be."  He squealed and hugged someone, getting one back.  "I missed you at the spa."

"I can't go for a while.  I'm pregnant."

"Aww!" Xander cooed, patting her tummy.  "That's so special.  Congrats!  What do you want for a baby present?  So I can find something tasteful."

"Just anything like a stuffed animal, Xander.  Don't go for something too big."

"Fine, spoil my fun," he teased.  She smiled back.  "I'm buying a few of the houses in my neighborhood to give us more room and more safety."

"That's wonderful."

"My neighbors are uptight."  She laughed.  "Let me know if you need help or anything.  Not like I get out of the house all that often and we can help you hide if you need us to."

"I will."  She patted his hand.  "I need to get some punch for it."  He let her go and she went back to her trek for punch.

Xander smiled at Sam.

"Some year," Sam offered.  Xander pounced him to kiss.

Tony wiped off the sweat.  "He's very strong."

"Very," Adam agreed, clearing his throat.  "Not in the conference room, boys."  They both smiled at him.  "Steve's here?"  Xander nodded.  "Excellent.  How did the sale in LA go?"

"Very well," Xander said happily.  "Then late last month I got taken by something and I had to lead a revolt but I didn't say no as fast as the other concubines he had gathered.  So I've got a full drawer again."

"It happens, young one."

Xander smirked.  "When I get to be your age are you still going to call me that?"

"Yes."  Xander snorted, punching him on the arm.  "Tony sits on our self-defense panel.  Would you help him with that tomorrow?"

"I can do that."

"That'll help me," Tony agreed.  "A live demonstration model."

Xander grinned.  "I'm a bit better trained than most people think.  I take a lot of martial arts classes."

"Even better," Tony agreed.  "It'll keep you untaken."  Dean and Sam shook their heads.  "No?"

"No," Dean said.  "He's got too many suitors.  The only way to weed them down is to make them sorry."

"Which I do very well if they try anything," Xander pointed out.

"Yes you do," Dean agreed, making Tony smile.  "Today's just the usual speech and then the wander and nibble again?"  Adam nodded. "Xander, let's nap off the flight?"  Xander gave him a leer.  "After the nap."  Xander nodded and shook Tony's hand before they walked off.  Xander could find all his other friends later.

"He's very strong," Tony said quietly.

"Extremely so," Adam agreed, smiling at him.  "We almost made a separate category for him.  He's constantly backed up unless he has to use his hormones offensively."  He snagged Blair.  "Military service?"

"On Jack O'Neill's project.  Working with Daniel.  Who I kind of like."

"What did happen to that officer you were seeing?"

"He threw a fit after we got Terry back from his last kidnaping.  Kicked me out."

"Oh, dear," he sighed.  "He's here this weekend, Blair.  I saw him lurking earlier."

"He can blow me.  Daniel appreciates me when I babble.  Jim never did.  Jim didn't want to talk about anything.  He decided I was abnormal and immoral because of this.  This is why I didn't tell him originally.  I'm going to stick by my instincts.  Can I avoid him?"

"You can try," Adam assured him.  Blair smiled.  "He may hunt you down."

"You have no idea, Adam."

Adam gave him a look.  "You'd be surprised, young one."  Blair blushed at that.  "I have seen others like him."

"Is this going to hurt him?"

"If it was his decision it's more likely to hurt you than him.  He can choose another helper."  He stroked his back.  "We'll work it out."  Blair nodded, sipping his drink.  "How has Xander been?"

"There was a hilarious chase scene yesterday when Xander snuck off to the spa on his own.  Sam realized it and ran out of the house then came back to get Dean and his keys.  John got called on the way out the door.  He got up from his nap and followed at a dead run for the truck.  I almost thought it was an emergency."  He nibbled on another berry.  "Then again, I saw Xander's last two suitors.  Including one that went up in flame because Dean was barbequing."  Adam smirked at that.  "Not all Xander's suitors are normal people," he said at Tony's horrified look.  "Really."

"You mean like those funny looking people?"

Blair nodded.  "Demons, yeah.  Blew my mind but hey... it happens."  He shrugged. "Just hopefully not to me or Danny."

"You'll find a good match," Adam assured him.  "Ah, Ray and Tabitha.  You missed Xander, Dean, and Sam."

"No, we saw the bouncy ball of boy," Ray assured him.  Adam gave him a look.  "He pounced."

"He's like that," Blair agreed.  "Hi, Blair Sandburg."

"Tabitha.  I live in Xander's town too."

"I'm seriously thinking about joining Jack O'Neill's project at the base."

"Interesting.  They do some strange things up there.  Wasn't he retired?  I know he was guarding Xander and said he was retired."

"He got recalled when they figured out they couldn't do without him," Adam told her.  "Xander told me during an email."

Tony shook his head quickly.  "The boy certainly gets around."

"A lot," Ray agreed.  Blair nodded quickly too.  "Like I said, a bouncy ball of boy."  The others laughed.  "Anything good from him?"

"New teaching tapes."

"Could be handy," Ray agreed with a leer at Adam.  "We'll see if anyone else is that coordinated."

"Are you insinuating that I'm not going to be?" Adam asked archly.

"I said we'd see," Ray told him.

"It sounded like you doubted."

Ray kissed him.  "I know you will be able to some day since you're so stubborn."

"Guys, kiss and make up," Speed said as he walked past them.

"I'll let him try before we settle this one, Speed."

"Uh-huh.  If it takes too long others will get involved and it'll start a betting pool."

"Xander made a new set of teaching tapes," Adam said, watching him walk off.

Speed smirked.  That was gossip worthy to be spread around.  He found a few familiar members.  "Xander made teaching tapes of that dance style he found."

"Think he'll let us copy them?" one asked.

"I asked him to," Adam called.

They all smiled.  That was good news.

Someone rushed in.  "Um, sir, there's been a problem in one of the member's rooms."

"Coming," Adam said.  Tony followed.  He gave him an odd look.  "We can handle it."

"Nothing scares stupid people doing stupid things like Federal agents."

"Good point."  They walked up and it wasn't even Xander's room.  One up the floor from him.  He coughed.  "Problems, ladies?" he called over the screaming match going on.

"My beloved sister is a whore," the one shouted.  "You turned her..."  Adam smacked her on the face.  "How dare you!  I'll have you arrested."

Tony pulled his badge.  She quieted.  "It is a hormonal condition.  Would you rather have her kidnaped?  Repeatedly."

"No," she sneered.  "I just got her back from one."

"We just got her back from one," Adam said firmly.  "Our people got her back after her hormones got her stolen because she wasn't handling the dumping of them very well."

She stepped forward.  "You let her be stolen."

"No, I let me be stolen," her sister corrected.  "I wasn't dumping my hormones well enough.  I had broken up with Tad.  Things were going to hell and I was backed up.  That's why I got stolen and I alerted people as soon as I could.  They got me free.  What did you do?  Since you didn't even know I was gone until I got back?"

"We were worried sick while you were in Tunisia!"

"That was two years ago.  I've been back, been taken another time, and then come back again," she shot back.   "I told Mom.  Apparently you didn't care."

"I did so!  I was in the middle of my own problems."

"Then let me have mine," she said.

"Ladies," Adam said.  "Let us digress to gentler conversation somewhere with softer seating where no one else is forced to overhear."

They went inside then they went back to arguing.  Adam sighed, looking at Tony.  "Let them," Tony said.  "As long as it doesn't escalate into violence or more running, shouting, or fleeing they're going to work it out."

Ray knocked then walked inside when the women let him in.  "Let me make this clear.  I am Detective Ray Kowalski as well as being a level seven and the National Head's boyfriend.  If this goes to a domestic or something that gets the cops called, I gotta deal with it.  I love the conventions as much as you do.  Do not make me work this weekend."  The member nodded at that.  "If you need us, have us paged and we'll mediate or give her whatever info she needs ta have."

"We'll figure it out," the member said.  "Thank you, Ray."

"Not a problem.  Xander's at the other end of the hall.  He's got Dean, Sam, and probably John again."  She nodded.  "Good."  He left, going back down there.  The hotel's manager gave him an odd look.  He held up his badge.  That got a relieved look and a nod.  He walked in and smiled.  "Already rested, Xander?"

"They're asleep."  He beamed and bounced over.  "I'm giving lessons," he called.  A few came to follow him to a corner of the room.  Xander got them lined up and showed them how to move into the first form.  They did, some more successfully than others.  He worked them through a full dance then did it with them.  The others clapped.  They bowed and Xander got them all drinks then moved on to teach them the next one.  A few retired for the day but the few diehards stayed to work with him on that one.  A few sore muscles and they were ready to do the next one.  That one got some more clapping but a few moans too.  Xander smiled.  "We'll do another two tomorrow after the lectures."  They bounced off to their partners, who cooed, babied, and got them treats.

"Xander, how many sets did you bring?" Adam called.

"Just one.  I figured we could find somewhere in the city to copy them."

"I can do that," Speed promised from his corner with Horatio.  Xander bounced off then came back ten minutes later with a stack of tapes.  "All of them?"

"All but two.  One's missing in the bag so I think it's still in the recorder and the other's scratched so we need to make a new copy.  They're both near the end of the series."

"I'll call around tonight," he promised.  The boy beamed and kissed him on the cheek before going to get himself some chocolate milk.

"It's a good thing I'm secure," Horatio said dryly.  He took his own kiss.

"You bounce enough for me."  He walked them off to their room to call a local CSI they knew.  He'd know a good place to have things copied.

Xander looked over as someone walked up to him.  "What can I help you with?"

"Sir, can we talk to you for a moment?"

"Depends.  Who are you?  Are you a member?"

"No, sir."

"Xander, no," Tony called.   Only a few places had people who wore suits that ugly.  He walked over.  "Good morning, gentlemen.  What do we want Mr. Harris for?"

"His weapons collection."

Xander snickered.  "What do you guys know about Sunnydale?"  They turned pale.  "Back then my hormones were under control thanks to the danger and Anya.  Now it's not.  Now all my stuff is under very good watch from my keepers, who do the same thing I used to do.  I also have a backup protector when he's off-base who's a colonel in the Air Force.  He recently decided to weed out my collection of anything big."

The FBI agents looked at him.  "You were active in Sunnydale?"

"I was Buffy's right hand before she went spastic and started to drink.  Then they told me not to come home after we brought down the Initiative.  I went on another road trip and my hormones went out of control."

"Your present collection?"

"Is under very close and safe monitoring by Colonel O'Neill.  He will beat my ass, literally, if he finds me buying anything bigger than a shotgun again.  Though quite a few were presents before.  What did you want to know about, gentlemen?"

They stared for a minute.  "You were...."

"The dark haired one.  My hair was shorter then."

"Oh!  That's why.  Baggy, loud clothes?"  Xander nodded.  "What happened?"

"My hormones came out.  Why is this an issue?"

"He turned it in."

"That's his problem.  Not mine.  I volunteered to lend him something to help with a situation he was handling.  He came to weed it out afterward."

"Sir, you do know it's illegal to own any of that?" one asked.

Xander walked them outside pointing at something.  "Do you see what that thing eating the valet is?"  One nodded quickly. The other was frozen.  "Hey!" he shouted.  The demon looked over then smirked and moved closer.  "Tell them who I am?"

"A concubine and a playtoy?"

"By name, baby.  Before I have to kick your ass and make your clan sorry."  The demon tried to make a grab but Xander stood there.  He pulled back and mumbled something then took the agents off to talk to them.  They came back ten minutes later.  "Thank you.  Now, can you disappear?  There's at least three other hunters inside."  The demon fled.  He looked at the agents.  "I still handle things.  Only bigger things instead of daily hunting like I used to."

"Where is Miss Summers?"

"Ask Colonel O'Neill about her or Miss Rosenburg."

"Fine, sir."  He straightened himself out.  "Are you a present danger to the US?"

"Only if you guys try to hurt us.  I'm more than happy to live my life and leave everything not harmful alone.  As the local cops would tell you.  They're very nice and they watch over me very well.  Also, Faith has no access to the anything like that since she's on probation.  Are we still in trouble?"

"Sir, there's a problem brewing out there."

"Angel is handling it and he'll call if he needs me.  Or Faith.  Or he can call Jack to get Buffy.  Really.  We worked this out among ourselves."

The agents nodded.  "That's good to know, sir.  Are you dangerous to us?"

"Only if I think you're being mean.  Then I'll make you beg."  He grinned sweetly.  "Anything else?  I'm missing Adam's speech."

"Go," the formerly frozen one said.  "You're good with us.  We'll take this up later if we need to."  Xander nodded, heading back inside.  He looked at his partner.  "We think there's a reason why Sunnydale was abandoned.  We'll check with that Colonel O'Neill.  See what he still has.  Just in case we need it.  Then we'll take care of whatever has to come up."

"Yes, sir.  Was he a bit creepy to you?"

"Very.  But we'll handle it."  They walked off to look up this Colonel.  That way they could talk to the others and find out what they needed to know.  Harris being the go-to guy out there was very odd to them.  Then again, he said his behavior had changed.  Maybe it had changed a lot.

Xander smiled at Adam.  "They're going to talk to Jack.  It's fine.  They wanted to know Sunnydale stuff."  Dean looked over at him.  "Jack turned in the weeding out he had done."

"Good soldiers do that," he agreed.  He came over.  "Are we going to get Feds on the doorstep?"

"No.  I told them Faith can't access anything."

"Good."  He called home anyway to warn her.  She said she'd handle it and warn Jack.  They followed everyone else in to listen to Adam's speech this year.  Then they went back to meeting, greeting, bragging, eating, and nagging a few members who needed it.

***

Blair looked over as Jack walked over to where he was sitting.  "Problems?"

"I'd like to spank Xander for sending them my way."

"You're the one who turned it in," Blair said dryly.  "That's a quote."

"Goodie."  He handed over a folder.  "Yours."  Blair hesitated then opened it to look over.  "You've still got a few days."

"It seems less insane when Daniel's around."

"Fortunately he's napping in the car under the dose of antihistamines I dropped into his coffee on the plane."  He sat down, looking at him.  "It's insane.  I'll agree it's insane.  It warps your mind every single trip and every single call."

Blair nodded.  "But it could be worse?"

"We do important work.  There's been a lot of missteps and enemies.  Some that we only had to show up being our charming selves to create.  We need people who understand people and where they came from to help us quit making mistakes like that and to help us when we do it anyway."

"You have others."

"Who understand some European and Asian cultures.  No one understands native cultures the way you do.  We run into a lot of them that've retreated back to clans and that type of group."  Blair nodded.  "Plus I can guarantee the guy who gave you the black eye won't get near you again without a lot of help."

"He's across the street."

"We have presidential oversight, Blair.  He can be in deep for that."  Blair shook his head. "You're not the strangest we've taken in.  We've recently gotten Xander's friend Buffy."  Blair shuddered.  "She's dried out.  It's better.  She's focused.  She did pretty good on her trial field case."

"That's good," he agreed quietly.  "How bad will it be?"

"Depends on if you're safely back on base, where you'll only get a few invasion problems, or if you're in the field.  Being on base means you won't have competing schedules with Danny."

Daniel walked over with a yawn.  "Are we aware there's a pissed off detective across the street and Xander's staring at him?"

Blair looked over.  "Jim, do not pounce Xander.  Xander?" he called.  He waved him over.

Xander stared at him.  "No."  He looked at the guy again.  "I'm hyper-protective, dear.  Blair's my posse now."  The detective snorted evilly.  Xander started to move but Sam walked him off.  "Hey!"

"Not now, Xander."  Sam sat him down and got them coffee, then made sure Xander stayed there.

Daniel smiled.  "Thank you, Xander.  It's wonderful to be protected by you."

Xander beamed.  "You're welcome.  I can be overprotective anytime you need me to."

"That's my job," Jack said.  He shook his head, looking at Blair again.  "So?"

Daniel smiled.  "On base or off?"

"I could like not having much excitement for a while," he admitted.  "A lot less kidnapings.  I hate being kidnaped."  He clicked his pen.

"Don't you dare, Blair," Jim said, stomping over.

Blair looked up at him.  "They appreciate me, hormones and all."  He looked at the papers then back at Jim.  "I'd be safe?"

"As safe as we can make you," Jack agreed.

"You're mine, Sandburg."

"You tossed me away," Blair told him.  "How am I yours?"

"This isn't you."

"This has been me since I was in my undergrad, Jim."  He pulled out his membership card and held it up.  "See the date?"  Jim went pale, shaking his head.  "I was handling it just fine before and after you accused me of being some sort of high class rent boy.  They actually need me to do what I'm trained to do.  You decided you didn't.  I left you a list of possible guides.  Have a good working relationship."  He signed the paper and handed it to Jack.  "I'm yours."

"Thanks, Blair."  He looked at Daniel.  "We can go over the rest of this where there's no people staring since we're classified."

"He's coming back to Cascade."

"To do what?" he asked.  "To be killed on a case?"

"What're you going to be doing for them?"

"Anthropological research.  The same stuff I've been doing now for over ten years.  I nearly ruined my career for you, Jim.  To protect you."  He stared at him.  "Even before my mother tried her crap I was missing a lot of stuff that was important to my career for yours.  I'm not your wife and you didn't want it when we were together.  Now I'm with Danny.  He's a good guy who likes my mind.  He likes me for my mind."

"He's going to use you."

"He won't.  We're in different areas of study.  I'm going to be looking at the people I've already been working at and their offshoots to keep problems from happening."

"To who?"

"There's nothing that would make me work for a strike force agency, Jim.  I'm still the man I was before."

"Are you?"

"My mother isn't going to complain about this.  I'm protecting lives."  He stood up.  "Get out of my face.  You sent me off because you decided you couldn't trust me.  They can."  He walked around him and off.

Daniel shook his head.  "You're one of the first ones he's trusted fully, Ellison.  Way to go."  He hurried after Blair.  "Hey."  He stopped him.  "Want to hit the big used bookstore on the corner for tea?"

Blair relaxed and nodded.  "Please."

"Even if we don't work out, I'm not like that. We'll be buddies."  He grinned.  Blair grinned back.  They went to have tea while looking at the old books.  Jack could find them in a few minutes.

Xander got up and got into Jim's face.  "With all that you've seen and you couldn't accept a man for who he is?  Pity.  I hope your next guide fits you better."  He walked off, going off with Sam.  "Hey, Jack?"  Jack looked over.  "I'm sorry if the Feds you turned my former pets in to bothered you because you told them you confiscated my pets."  Jack groaned.  "Don't worry, we'll hide the next stuff better unless you call."

"Please do.  You know I can't see things like that, Xander."  He watched him and Sam walk off, shaking his head.  He went to find the two nerds.  Before Daniel got an idea about an expense account or something strange like that.  Or before Xander could spoil them since he had headed in the same direction with Sam.  The boys were having a great time looking over dusty, old books that looked like they were ready to fall apart.  "No expense account, guys."

"Xander slipped me three hundred before we left," Danny said.

"That's fine.  Better than the General having to sign forms for ancient books."

Blair smiled.  "I have an apartment full."

"I'm sure you do.  Danny does too, Blair.  His office is stacked and so is his home."  That got a smile.  "We'll respect you for the book nerd you are.  Do you have a coffee habit like that one next to you?"

"Tea.  I'm moderately a health food person."

"Janet will love you because she hates our junk food binges," Jack told him.  That got a brighter smirk.  He looked outside at the complaining noises.  "Aw, man!  Xander's dragging someone shopping."

Blair looked.  "He's a federal agent.  NCIS."

"Wonderful."  They all smiled and waved when Xander did.  "Better him than me ever again," Jack said with a smirk for Danny.

"It wasn't that bad, Jack.  Even if he did nearly get taken three times from your custody."

"Once because they wanted to brush his hair," Jack said.

"I want to play with his hair.  Teal'c wanted to play with his hair.  Sam still wants to play with his hair.  Xander can smack them around for wanting his hair."  They went back to browsing.  Blair was snickering but he only grinned, making Blair laugh harder.

***

Xander bounced into the hotel with Dean, Sam, John, and Tony following him.  Tony had some bags of his own.  John had Xander's in the trunk of the Impala.  Dean and Sam's new stuff too.  Tony went to take a nap once he dropped his bags on top of his suitcase.   He flopped face down on the bed, asleep right then.  His last thought was 'thank god I'm not a level ten too; Gibbs would hate that'.

Xander bounced into Ray, handing him a small bag.  "I found you something to tease him with."  He gave him a kiss on the cheek then ran off to go to the next lecture.  It was someone teaching them how to handle employee relation problems.  He'd have to listen in case his housekeeper gave him a problem.  Dean and Sam were off helping with the self defense lectures.  So was John.  Tony had asked them since they were good and Tony was tired.  He hadn't meant to wear him out but it had been good to play with other GHS.  Xander had even gotten them all t-shirts that'll be delivered in the next day.  It was a note in Ray's bag of fun stuff.

Adam strolled in, waving off the question of the speaker before pulling Xander out of the room.  "What was that?"

"I saw it and thought Ray might like it.  I know he had one like that but he said it was broken."

"Not that.  I replaced that years ago but he's happy because we had to look for nearly a  month to find it.  The note?"

"T-shirts?  So we can remember the fun?  Like they do at comic-cons."

Adam sighed.  "Not like we'll forget, Xander."

"We can all use a new t-shirt for someone to rip off us.  It doesn't mention the name of the organization."

Adam nodded.  "Fine.  You don't have to spoil people, Xander."

Xander gave him a hug.  "Yes I do.  Because otherwise I've got to spend it at home."  He bounced off to the shopping area.  Dealing with people was boring.

Adam went to find Dean, Sam, and John.  He walked Dean off and pointed.  Dean groaned, going to pounce Xander to help wear him out again.  He went back to help in Dean's place.  He could brawl a bit better than the average person.

***

Faith looked up as someone knocked on the door, walking over to look out it.  "Yes?"

"Ma'am, we want to look at something."

"The owner's in Boston.  He'll be back on Monday."  He held up a badge.  "I don't care.  I'm house-sitting.  I can't authorize you.  Call Xander in Boston."

"Ma'am, you have to let us in."

She put on the chain and opened the door.  "No I don't."

"You're on probation."

"And that's wonderful, but nothing I agreed to said I had to let you into a house when I'm house-sitting and I know I can't consent to the search.  So you need one to let you do it with the owner not being present.  Or find one of the local ones to come help you."  She shut the door and went to call someone.  "Jack, good.  There's Feds here?"  She nodded.  "Yeah, they said that.  I don't have to.  It's not part of that and I'm house-sitting.  I told them to get one of the locals.  Yay.  I'm only house-sitting.  I'll call mine to tell him.  I asked, he said I didn't have to and they have to have one that says they can search when the owner isn't here."  He said something.  "Thanks.  Bogart, move," she called.  "They're going to try to break in the door.  No, not FBI.  No agency I've ever heard of."  She hung up and called.  "This is Faith Lehane at the Harris house.  There's some people here with badges from some agency I've never seen before.  They claim they have a warrant and now have something to break in the door.  I told them to get one of the locals but they're not.  Please.  Me and the dog.  Thank you, ma'am."  She hung up and put the chain on so she could open it slightly again.  "You can wait for the local cops.  They'll be here within ten minutes."

"No we won't," the agent said.

"Then you'd better produce a badge to an agency I know."  She shut the door again.  She moved the dog out of the way, locking him in a bathroom with a crawl area to the outside.  She opened it to let him out.  "Go see the nice lady with the poodle," she whispered.  The dog snuck out to the garage then past it to the neighbor's.  She heard the door shatter and came out, shutting the door behind her.  "Again, guys, I'm only a house-sitter and ...."  One stuck a gun in her face.  "Move it."  She pushed it out of her way.  "Guys, I'm from the bad part of Boston.  You're pussies compared to some of the guys I know."  Cops came up.  "Guys?" she yelled.  "In here!"

"We're here on a valid warrant, officer," one said, handing it over.

He looked at it.  "Badge, sir?"  The agent snorted.  "You will or you'll be held until we make sure the warrant is valid."  The officer was shot.

Faith moved, pulling the knife off her belt, stabbing the one in front of her then throwing it at the other one standing nearby.  She dove out of the way of the bullets, making it outside.  One pounced her and held her down.  She fought, she did good.  He was still about Sam's size and weight.  "What do you want?"

"The jewels," he sneered.

"They're in Boston being sold."  He punched her.  She laughed, then something appeared behind him.  It plucked him up then looked, grunted, and threw him into the wall.   His head stuck in it.  "Gee, thanks," she said, getting up carefully.  "Did Vesvold send you?"

"Xander did."  He smirked, a scary sight.  "He is most upset."

"Good!" Faith agreed.  "Just tie them up?  Not the local officers?"  He nodded, stomping inside to do that.  She called the downed officer's radio.  "This is Lehane at Harris's.  One of your officers was shot by the phony Feds.  I can't see your other one."  She let it go and went to check.  "Is the box in Denver still there?"  The demon nodded.  "Good."  More cops screamed up.  "No idea, guys."  They pointed the gun at the demon.  "No, don't.  He helped me.  The fake Feds broke in to get the jewelry Xander gets sent now and then.  The one that pinned me asked me where they were.  He's hanging off the back of the house thanks to this one.  I had him knock out and tie up the rest."

They came rushing in to see what had happened.  She relaxed, looking at her shaking hands.

The demon nudged her.  "Xander reminds you that dying for stupid reasons was a bad thing.  You have every right to protect yourself from such stupidity."  She gave him a weak smile.  "They'll be back in a day."  He patted her on the head then disappeared.  She flopped down onto the sidewalk to calm herself back down.

One came out, squatting in front of her.  "The knife?"  She shakily raised a hand.  "You did good, Faith.  You did it to protect yourself?"  She nodded quickly.  "Before or after he got shot?"

"After.  He shot the guy, I stabbed the one with the gun in my face then threw it at the other one.  Oh, the dog, I sent him to the neighbor."

"That's a good job."  He smiled.  "We'll need a statement."

"We've got video from the security company.  X doesn't know but they tape the door."

"We can get it from them."  He patted her on the head.  "It'll be okay.  We'll make sure you're not in trouble with your parole officer."

"Why not?  I got two of them!" she said with a touch of hysterics.

"Because you were protecting yourself, Faith.  Self defense is never wrong unless you're suicidal."  He stood up and pulled her up.  "C'mon.  Let's get you over to the neighbor's with the dog."  Xander appeared and the demon bringing him disappeared. "There you go.  The dog's with the neighbor."

"Thank god you're all right, Faith," he said, pulling her closer to hug.  "I'm sorry they made you do that."  She looked at him.  "That was their issue and I'll gut the next one who tries.  They're not vampires."

"They wanted the jewelry."

"They're going to be sorry fuckers," Xander assured her.  She smiled weakly at that.  "C'mon.  Let's wait in the garage."  The officer watching nodded.  "Is she in trouble?"

"Nope.  They had a gun in her face."  He nodded, walking her off to help her calm down and possibly puke.  He went to call the security company.  They had more cameras than just on the door.  All the hallways and all entrances to the house.  They sent the digital file over immediately.  By the time they got done cleaning up the bodies, Xander had that bad look on his face and Faith was too involved in her thoughts to see it.  "Mr. Harris?"  Xander looked up, clearing the evil look.  "Let us?"

"They tried in LA when we were in for Faith's hearing."

Faith looked at him.  "The fake Feds at the hotel?"

"And earlier that day someone stole my room key and wallet.  Tried to get me and Cordy into a fake cab."

"How do they know what you're getting?"

"Bragging from where I sold some?" he suggested.  "Maybe someone blabbed about the box in Denver?"

She groaned.  "It could be anywhere.  You've talked about some of it in the open."

"All these guys have foreign passports," the officer said.  "They aren't local boys or we'd be destroying them."

Xander grinned.  "Want some help?"

"We can't allow you to risk yourself."

Xander went inside, coming out with something.  He held it up.  "They want it, let them come get it."

He moaned at the very large necklace.  "We can use it for bait," he agreed, taking it.  "Is it real?"

Xander nodded.  "Yeah.  We can use a few others if you want.  I can be as visible as you need.  These people come back again and I might have to kill one.  She only injured."  Faith's head popped up.  "They're not dead, Faith.  Only injured."  She relaxed.  Xander's phone rang.  "It's me.  I'm pissed.  Faith had to defend herself and the dog from the same sort of jewel thieves we had in LA.  She's fine, Dean.  She only injured.  Two.  There's six here being miserable.  I'm going to let them have something to bait with.  Sure."  He hung up.  "Dean said I'm not to get hurt."

"We don't want you hurt."

Xander gave him a long look.  "I can take care of myself.  Really."

"You can't balance your checkbook."

"Three years ago I led an assault to defend my graduation."

The cop winced.  "That was pre-hormones."

"Yes, but afterward I trained so I have a lot of extra skills.  You can have Officer Doug Tyler with me if you want.  He's seen me in combat before.  Somehow."

"We'll try it your way.  This was pretty bold."

"Pretty bold was calling in the LAPD to help them in LA," Xander said dryly.

"Then they're idiots."

"Very."  He looked back at Faith, then smiled and went inside to get a few other things.  He felt the tingle of another immortal nearby and walked out with a briefcase he only used for these things.  He put it on the hood the car, then slid the other one inside.  He put in the homing chip the new cop had.  Then he let him see it.  That got a moan.  The others were bringing the bad guys out of the house now that they were untied.  "I think we need to hide this somewhere better," he said, glancing at one being walked past him.  Then at the officer. "Where do you think it'd be safer?"  He glared at one that was trying to pay attention.  "Remember, I will get you."  The guy snorted. "Officer Tyler?"

"How about we take it to the store down on eighth, Mr. Harris?  They have pretty decent security and we can get around them to up it."

"Sure."  He 'accidentally' spilled the briefcase then had to gather it back up.  He held up something.  "I don't like this one.  It's cut funny."  He closed the briefcase and handed it over.  "Want me to go with you?"

"Please."  They slid in together.  He drove him off.  "Are you sure?"

"Of course."

"How good are you?"

Xander grinned.  "We all trained at a temple of Ares," he said quietly.  That got a pleased grunt.  "By some of his highest priests."

"Excellent."

"Yes I am."  The cop laughed.  "I am."  He smirked.  "Plus I have a few very good tricks up my sleeves."

"I'd love to spar with you some day."

"Sure.  Remember our house is holy ground."

"We can do that too.  I'm not interested in a real fight."

"Me either.  I get possessed way too easily."  The officer laughed.  "I do!  Two in high school!"  The officer gave him a look.  He grinned.  "One was a soldier."

"That's how you learned artillery."

"Yuppers."

"Excellent."

"Some Feebs came up to us in Boston to ask about it too.  I referred them to Jack."

The officer laughed.  "I'm sure he's pleased."

"Nope.  Oh well.  Don't touch my pets next time."

They pulled into the shop the PD had taken over and set up.  "You can play along?"

"I don't act very well but I'm cool."  They got out and Xander smiled at the plainclothes captain.  "Feeling better?"

"Much.  Thank you for asking, Mr. Harris."  He took the briefcase to look inside, gasping in pleasure.  "Oh, my."

"Recent presents.  I don't know how they knew I had some at home.  Most of the information that's able to be found out by dealers and those sort after the sale was the box in Denver."

"They might have been going for it," he offered.  "Let's put this into the safe."  He put it in there then shut it.  "Are you moving this to Denver?"

"No.  I'm going to have it shipped to me in Boston to sell it.  I don't need it."

The officers smirked at that.  "Go back to Boston, however you got here," one ordered quietly.

"They tried to hurt Faith.  I do not allow that.  If they try my family, I will react."

"Yes but they think you'd be a perfect hostage."

Xander grinned.  "I start training with your brother-in-law next month."  The officer gaped.  "I'm more than the hair, guys.  I do have some training in self defense."  That got a few smirks.  "That's why I can go out alone now and then.  Sam gets worried but I'm usually fine."

"Usually," the captain agreed.  "For now, go baby Faith.  She probably needs it."  Xander nodded, letting the officer take him back to do that.  SWAT was listening and watching the store with them.  Two guys came in with FBI badges to talk to them.  "Bad timing, guys."

"Sir, we only need to look at what Mr. Harris moved."

The captain pulled them into the back with the briefcase.  "Someone broke into his house to steal these," he said, opening the briefcase.  They gasped.  "Using fake federal badges."  He slid a bagged one over.  "They nearly killed his house-sitting friend Faith."

"Lehane?"

The captain nodded.  "Yes, her.  She's on probation."

"That's fine.  We learned some about  Sunnydale stuff recently."

"Ask her later.  She's pretty shaken up.  She had to defend herself earlier."

"Good to know.  We can do that."  The briefcase was closed.  "Let us help?"

"They've got foreign passports.  You'll end up helping eventually."  That got a smirk.  He waved a hand around.  "We consider this safer than his house.  He might blow up the city or something."

"Could be."  They put the jewels back and the agents went to insert themselves while making calls about the information they had already gathered.  Later that night four blackened figures walked into the back of the store.  SWAT was right behind them.  One had escaped from the Harris house earlier.  They were so screwed.  The agents got involved and found out why.

***

John woke up to knocking early Monday morning, going to answer it.  "What?" he demanded.

"I know why they went after the jewels."  He was let inside, nodding at Faith.  "Are you all right?"

"I'll be fine.  My therapist and I are working over it."

"Good.  You did a good job, Miss Lehane."  He looked at Xander. "They wanted to prove to you that you're not safe.  That you can be stolen just as easily.  That way you'd go to them for protection and bring your boys since they figured out Samuel is one as well."

Dean snorted in displeasure.  "Someone's screwed."

"They're in jail.  Interpol got them for us.  They'll be facing extradition to the US within days.  They are ended, boys.  You're safer now."

"How did they find out about me?" Xander asked.

"They hacked into the local database for the organization."

Xander dialed a number.  "Ray, Feds need you and Adam in my room."  He hung up.  "How many others?"

"They knew the names and identities of six others.  All male.  According to the hotel three were here.  Two were at home.  One's missing.  We're checking on the ones that didn't come to the convention."

"Can we find them?" Sam asked.

"We're working on it."  Someone tapped so he let them in.  "The National Head?" he asked Ray, who pointed behind him.  "Agent Wislin, sir."  He shook his hand.  "Thanks to the jewel thieves going after Mr. Harris' present stash, we found out that they're doing this to make them feel unsafe and to prove that the only safety is with them.  We know they hacked into your database."  Adam moaned, holding his head.  Xander handed over his soda.

"Thank you, sprout."  He sipped it.  "How many?"

"Six with Mr. Harris and Mr. Samuel Winchester."

"I'm in there too," Dean said quietly.

"They wanted him to bring you for playtime but they thought you were their keeper."

Dean nodded.  "They didn't read very well, did they?" he shot back.

"No, but you apparently didn't fit the thin, graceful stereotype they wanted."  He pulled papers out of his inner jacket pocket.  "The ones who did it.  The ones who we know they had thanks to Interpol.  They'll be getting into the rest of the files today."

"I'll be here," Adam said.  "Until tomorrow at checkout then I'm in Chicago."

"We know."  He shook his hand.  "When I know, you'll know.  Warn them?"

He looked at the list.  "One went missing last month."

"We're looking at their information to see if we can find them."

Ray dialed someone.  "Soshar, Xander's room please?  Feds found someone that hacked us."  He hung up.  "We have a commando unit for the missing ones."

Xander handed something to Adam.  "Sell it to make them more money to work with," he ordered.  Adam smiled, petting him gently.  "Some day I might need them.  Or Dean might need them."

Sam looked at him.  "I might."

"Well, yeah, but we love you more than enough to beat anyone who might try," Xander offered with a sheepish grin.  "Dean won't let us save him."

Sam kissed him.  "Shut up, goofball," he said with a grin.  "I'm just as much a target as Dean and you are if they find out."

"You are," Adam agreed.  He looked at the list again.  Soshar picked the lock so he and his boss could walk in.  He handed it over.

"He's in Burma somewhere.  We're not really sure where after the overthrow.  We've been working on it, Adam."

"We'll be helping," the agent told him.  "The people behind that are being talked to by Interpol."

"Wonderful.  We can help," Soshar said with an evil grin.  "Um, boss, briefcase more info?"

"Xander added to the rescue fund," Ray told him.

"Cool."  Soshar handed it to the boss.  "Come see us later.  We're on 8."  They took the information with them.  They'd have more for the agents later.

Xander looked at Adam.  "If they can come back, can I kill them?"

"Of course.  Whatever you need to ensure your health, Xander."  Xander gave him the most evil smirk ever.  He stared at the boy.  "You will let us help?"

"If you're there in time."

"Good."  The others stared at him.  "What?"

"Play nicely enough that we get to beat 'em too," Dean ordered.

"Yes, Dean."

"Thank you, son."  John looked at the agent.  "Any more coming?"

"No. This is their fourth failed attempt.  Others watching got disgusted with them.  Interpol asked a few contacts who said it's not fair to take a concubine's presents.  How else were they supposed to live and be wooed to belong to someone else."  Xander gave him another evil smirk.  "Plus we told them you were moving to Poland."  John laughed. "They decided to leave you guys alone unless something was too tempting and what you already had set up protects it very well."  He looked at Adam.  "Will you call me if you get another breach?"

"I have no idea when this one happened.  I cut and paste to make the pages.  Our last webmaster quit after selling some of the information."

"I would've beaten his ass," Ray said.

"That was two years before we met, Ray."  He stroked the back of his neck.  "I've been looking into hiring a new one but ones with the sort of hush attitude we need are hard to find."

"Give me a week to get some recommendations from our computer corps.  They probably know of a few."  That got a nod.  "Let me get back to the local office.  I'll see you in a week.  It really wasn't anything you did, Mr. Harris.  You've taken every precaution normal people do."  He left, going to start his reports and ask around for computer people.  There had to be someone who'd love the very strange people for their problems but was safe enough to trust.

Adam looked at Xander.  "You have taken every precaution.  The only ones who know you have anything are in the house, the bank in Denver, a few of the local authorities, and the merchant you sold through last time."

"Unless they heard someone making plans to woo or steal one of us," Sam said.  "We'll do what we can, Adam.  You know that."

"I know."  He smiled at Faith.  "If you wish, we could talk, young one.  I have been there in the past."

"Being a slayer?"

Adam sighed, looking around before looking at her.  "You know why the three boys are unique?"

"The immie stuff?  Yeah."

"I'm one as well," he said quietly.  "I have seen and done many things that would now be considered horrible acts."  She stared into his eyes.  "Even back when I was known as Death."

She whimpered.  "You're in the Books."

"I am."  He pulled her up.  "Come, you can talk to me.  I know how the urge comes and how your mind reacts without you now and then due to training."  She looked at Xander.

"He can understand, Faith.  He can understand me too."

She nodded, letting them walk her off to talk.  Ray went to get food while they talked but he told her enough that she knew he'd understand.  She spilled the whole story, back from when she first ran away from her mother.  He even gave her some decent advice about how to hold firmly to a moral line in combat.  He was like a Yoda of what she could become.  If she wanted it bad enough.

***

Xander made it home in time to find another of his neighbors about to complain.  "They wanted the jewelry I had stored," he said as he got out of the car.  "They tried to rob us while we were in LA too."

"They were agents."

"No, they were phony agents," Dean said as he got out.  He looked at the older lady.  "They weren't real ones."  She pointed at the door.  He sighed, looking at it.  "Tell me they're not trying something?"

Xander went to look.  "No.  From the agent who arrested them.  They said the storage area was very secure and safe.  The vault we have here as well.  They didn't like the lower storage area but they now know why and they're not upset.  Though they may come back at a later date to get something when an emergency happens in Sunnydale."  He took the note off the door.  "Underneath is from the local officers who said they had to let them look but they were impressed too.  Next time don't try to hide it in a way that required them to get Willow down from the base."  He handed that to Dean and smiled at the neighbor.  "The guys who broke in two days ago were fake agents and Interpol had to arrest most of a smuggling ring because of them."

"Oh, my.  Are you one of those undercover agents?"

"No.  But I cooperate when they need stuff like jewelry for a sting."  He grinned.  "It's all right.  They won't be back."  She smiled and left.  He opened the door and went inside.  "What stinks?"

"Smells like the electric went off and the fridge went bad," Dean said as he walked in.  He tried the lights.  "Xander, did we forget to pay the electric bill?"

"Steve pays that."

"I did pay it," Steve said.  He called the company.  "Is there a power outage in Colorado Springs?"  He smiled.  "Thank you."  He hung up.  "The construction project on the county's land hit an underground line.  It'll be two hours."

Dean went to turn on the generator.  Sam and Xander dumped the fridge.  John went to unpack.  Steve checked to make sure no new presents were in the study.

Xander looked up.  "Vesvold, why was that stone cut so funny?"

Vesvold appeared, leaning against a counter, arms crossed over his chest.  "I have no idea.  It was like that when it was given to me for you."

"I knew you didn't give it to me.  It was too big and too noticeable.  You like more subtle things."  He gave him a hug.  "Did you have fun while we were in Boston?"

"Watching you dance was a lot of fun."  Xander blushed at that, ducking his head some.  He winked at Sam then kissed Xander on the forehead.  "Be a good boy.  See if the resort in Las Vegas can help you dump some of that."  He disappeared again.  It was energizing to be near Xander.  He could go back to pounding his idea into the other stubborn skulls on the council.  Literally if one didn't quit bothering him.  He settled back into his seat.  Xander showed up a minute later with a messenger demon.  "Another one?" he asked, spotting the gift.

"It's the anniversary of when I met you."  He smiled, handing it over, then he glared at one demon.  "I'm not happy with you.  Your son tried to attack Jack to get to Buffy.  Leave Jack, Danny, Blair, and Jack's team alone.  They are part of my harem and I will protect them."

"Or you'll do what?" he sneered.

Xander threw a blessed dagger,  hitting him in the heart.  It died with a scream of pain at the burning.  "That."  He looked at the others.  "You're stressing Vessie out.  That makes me cranky."  They all nodded quickly.  He smiled.  "Thank you for your cooperation."  He kissed Vesvold on the cheek.  "And thank you for watching out for me for so long."  He disappeared with the messenger demon.

Vesvold smiled, putting the package into his pocket.  "He's very protective of what he considers his pack.  Comes from the hyena possession."

"Is that where the femme mannerisms he sometimes uses come from?"

"I think that's a persona he puts on to amuse others so they can't get that close.  Dean does not like it and John loathes it."  He looked at the dead councilor.  "We should get on with this discussion now that the loud, obstinate one has been removed.  I'm sure we can be civil once again."  They all nodded.  They didn't want to mess with that family at all!  Ever!  Vesvold must be a very strong demon to have conquered Xander's harem.

***

Xander snuggled into Sam's side later that night, looking up at him.  "I think he liked the present.  He sent giggling."

"I'm sure he did."  Sam smiled at him.  "You give very good gifts."

"You aren't wearing what I got you."

"It's not cold enough yet.  I will when it gets colder."

Faith leaned in.  "I'm off for beddy-bye, guys.  Night."

"Night," Xander said with a grin and a wave.  "I'll try not to keep you up."

"That'd be nice, X."  She went up to her room to turn on the radio.  John had done the same.

"We're keeping her up?" Sam teased.

"Now and then.  Slayer hearing and all that."  He teased Sam's buttons.  "Think you want to play tonight?"

"I think we can do that."  He took a quick kiss.  "Bedroom?"

"I've got Dean tied down in there for picking on me earlier."

Sam gave him an odd look.  "You tied up Dean and we haven't heard complaints?"

"He's still napping off the orgasm."

"That's good to know."  He let Xander slide into his lap to tease him.  "What were you thinking for the tied up Dean?"

"I was thinking maybe .... being a Winchester sandwich filling?  That way you don't have to get weirded out and neither does Dean."

"I could like that idea I think.  A bit more kinky than I'm used to.  Especially with a tied up Dean."

"We can untie him if he's good."

"Let's go see if he's up to it.  He might be too tired after earlier."  He stood up and made Xander slide down to stand on his own.  "You're not that sort of boy.  I only carry you if you're injured."

"I know."  He turned and strolled off, his hair twitching behind him to follow the moves of his ass.   Sam stared, head slightly tipped.  He could follow that hair.  He did follow that hair.  Xander was stripping off to entice Dean to let him play again.  Sam settled in beside Dean to watch the show.  Xander was teasing them by playing with his hair to get himself aroused.  They watched as the hair teased nipples and skin, making Xander groan at the pleasure he was creating.  Dean moaned right back because it was a good show.  Sam shifted to stand up.  Xander moved closer to dance with him, making Sam smirk at him.  "What do you need, Sammy?"

"Undressed before it becomes uncomfortable."  Xander grinned, stripping him slowly, moving around him to tease him. Using his hair to stroke him.  He even nipped him on the shoulder once.  Sam shivered, letting him do whatever he wanted.  He finally stepped out of his jeans and pulled Xander closer to dance with him for real.  The bedroom's music got turned on.  Dean was still tied to the bed so all he could do was watch them tease each other.  Slowly, rocking, a brief brush of fingers here and there.  Until Xander was more than ready to beg.  "Tell him.  Get him ready for you."  Xander blinked his big brown eyes up at him.  "If we're both there with you, someone has to have you."

Xander leaned in to kiss him.  "I want to ride you until you scream loud enough to wake the people up the street."  Sam shivered at that honest request.  The need in the voice.  "Please, Sam?"

"He's the one who's tied up."

"I can get free," Dean complained.  "Quit torturing me please?"  They both smirked at him in a way that made him swallow.  Hard.  Xander strolled over then crawled onto the bed, coming over to kiss him then nibble his way down Dean's throat.  "Xander," he moaned, tipping his head back.  "What did you want with me all tied up?"

"To be in the middle," Sam said, climbing in behind Xander.  "Since you're all tied up...."

"No way," Dean moaned into the mouth of doom that was teasing him.  "I'm on top once you unhitch me."

"If you can get out of them before I pounce," Xander teased.  He moved to tease Sam's body.  Sam was going to be begging soon.  He moved to lick over a nipple, a Sam weakness.  Sam nearly yelped when he bit him but a swat made him stop and play instead.  Even Dean moaned at the nice image playing out before him while he was working on the handcuffs.  Sam was going to be on the bottom even if he had to cheat.  He finally got one free, which let him hit the switch on the other side.  He got free of the other set too and shifted behind Xander, nibbling on his neck.  Xander liked it when he did that and today he went stiff then nearly slid over Sam's body.  Dean reached up to hitch Sam to the bed before he could realize what was going on.  Xander was already slick from his earlier ride.  He was tight, he always was.  "Get him ready for you," he said in Xander's ear.  "Slowly.  Make him want it, Xander."  Xander found the lube and did as Dean ordered.  Slowly, carefully getting Sam's body ready.  One finger going so slowly.

"No fair using the cuffs," Sam said, straining to get more than he was getting.  "C'mon, Xander!"

Xander kissed him, switching to two.  "Mine?"

"Of course."  Xander gave up there.  It'd be tight but he was careful.  Very careful as he slid in ever so slowly.  Dean paused and pushed with him.  Finally they were in and Sam was begging without words.  A moan, a groan, an arch up into the talented mouth pleasing him.  "Xander," he begged.

Xander smiled.  "All yours."  He moved back slowly, but had to moan himself when Dean's hips stopped him from going any further.  "Dean!"

"All me," he agreed.  He pushed him forward to go back into Sam, making Sam moan.  Then back and forth between them like a game of tethered ping pong.  Sam was getting loud.  He was panting and begging, thrashing, moaning and pleading.  Xander wasn't much better.  Dean was trying to be more quiet but he could muffle his in Xander's hair, shoulder, or the back of his neck.  Finally he got close and pulled Xander back onto him.  Sam struggled to get his toy back but it wasn't going to happen until Dean was done with him.  Xander went limp in his arms.  "Now, finish him off," he said in his ear.  "Make him sound like you do after two days off."  Xander nodded, going to orally please Sam for a few more minutes.  Sam stiffened, his whole body tensed, at the first kitten lick.

"Torture is wrong," Sam ground out.  Xander laughed into the wet, warm cock and it was too much.  Sam's gifts got him free.  It was one of the moments he really loved being slightly telekinetic during desperate situations.  He flipped Xander over, having him until his boy begged for mercy.  Dean was trapped under Xander.  "Next time, you're in the cuffs," he told Dean.

"We'll see."

"No, you're there next time."  He got back to work teasing his boy, making him beg more than Sam had.  He finally got the needy, whined pitch he wanted and let himself go.  Three, four, five strokes and it was all over with.  Sam came.  Xander made whimpering noises so Sam teased him with his fingers.  "Want to come, Xander?"  Xander nodded, pulling him down to kiss him.  "Get Dean hard again.  Make him take you."

Xander moved to clean Dean off.  "You're miraculous but I'm not that recovered yet," Dean complained.  His head thumped on a pillow.  "Bitch!  C'mon!"  Sam tied him back down while Xander let loose on his body.  Every naughty bit of it until Dean was begging for mercy and more at the same time.  Xander slid in to ride him.  Dean could enjoy that.  It was good, fast, hard, thumping him into the mattress until Xander finally had to come.  Dean moaned because he wasn't quite there yet.  "Xander!"

"Suck him, Xander.  He's begging," Sam said into Xander's ear.  "I want to see him come."  Xander moved down slowly, licking his way down this time.  Taking some of the sweat off the skin to be replaced with new sweat once he got to the hard cock.  He swallowed very well.  Dean's head thumped against the head board.  Sam worked on himself until he was hard again and then Xander got pounced.  "More, Xander.  He needs more and I need you."  Xander shifted to give him better access and a better angle to his prostate.  "Greedy," he teased, slamming back into him.

Xander yelped around Dean, scraping him gently by accident.  Dean hissed but it was still good.  Sam was riding Xander like he needed to.  Hard, hitting his prostate at least every other thrust.  Xander was sucking and slurping on Dean until Dean finally wailed as he came.  Then he went limp, panting as he watched Sam pull Xander up onto his lap.  "Ride me."  Xander got to work, pleasing himself and Sam.  Making it so good that they were both being noisier than usual for it.  Xander came on Dean's stomach.  "Lick it, baby."  Xander moved to lick up his come for him.  Didn't want to leave Dean sticky after all.  Sam gave three brutal thrusts and came into Xander's ass.  Again.  Xander moaned, wiggling some.  Sam nearly collapsed on top of them both but he knew he was heavy so he flopped down beside him.

Xander finished cleaning Dean's stomach up, then kissed them both.  "Thank you."

"Welcome," Dean said, smiling slightly.  Xander yawned.  He snuggled in.  Dean tried to hold him then realized he was still tied down.  "Sammy?"  His answer was a snore.  Dean huffed but got to work getting himself free.

"Go to sleep, please?" John begged.

"Can't, tied to the bed."

John stomped in and undid his poor son, confiscating the handcuffs on the way out.  "I didn't want to know about that."

"Sorry."  He covered the three of them up, letting Xander and Sam cuddle all they wanted while he got Xander's free side.  That way he wasn't a body pillow and Xander felt surrounded.  No Xander seeking missile tonight.  He had finally cured the cuddling problem!  Even if it did take handcuffs.

***

The next morning, Faith looked at the guys.  "You know you could actually *sleep* in that huge bed in there."

"We did," Sam said with a grin.  "For six hours."

"Whoo-hoo," she said dryly.  "Six whole hours?"

Dean nodded.  "Xander got his sucking dream and tried to eat Sammy again."

John groaned, putting his head down on the table.  "I still don't need details, boys."

"Sorry," Xander said, giving him a hug.  "I'll find a way to cure that problem so it can't happen again."

"What problem?" Faith asked.

"They fell asleep before they could unhitch me since Sammy got sneaky and tied me down," Dean told her.  She gaped in awe.  He shrugged.  "I tied him down for Xander.  Sammy decided to be mean to me last night.  I'm a fantastic and wonderful big brother and that's how he repays me."

She patted him on the back.  "It's good he loves you enough to let you get it that way, Dean."

He smirked at her.  "No he doesn't."

"If I didn't, you wouldn't have gotten to beg at all," Sam teased from the toaster.

"Enough!" John ordered.  "I don't want to hear about anything that goes on in anyone's bedroom unless it was an attack."

"He did," Dean protested.  "He was even sneaky.  We gave him the wrong lessons, Dad."  His father glared.  He grinned back.  "Sorry we kept you up."

"Uh-huh."  He took his coffee back to his room to go back to sleep.

Xander brought in a plate a few minutes later.  "I'm sorry, John."  He gave him a short hug then disappeared again.

John dug in then went back to his nap.  It was thoughtful of the boy.  More than his sons, who were clearly insane.

***

John and the boys came home from a Winchester night out at the sports bar to find Xander, who had promised he'd be good, collapsed on the couch under a pile of crap.  "Hell," he muttered.

Vesvold appeared, dropping something off to the side.  "The one who tried to woo him got very disgusted when Xander said no.  Repeatedly.  He eventually told him he would be his or he'd kill him.  Xander told him to, I quote, bring it and the demon tried.  Pity."

"How many higher demons does this make?" Sam asked.

"Seven this year."  Sam groaned.  "Exactly.  These are his by right of winning them.  He'll be fine, I sedated him because he became a bit hysterical.  The things on top of him are rewards from other demons who didn't like that one."

"Xander won't want it," Dean told him.

Vesvold shrugged.  "There's not much we can do about that."

"I'm the head of this family.  He's not accepting presents, rewards, or enticements."

Vesvold nodded.  "I'll put that around.  They might start coming to you to sway you instead."  He disappeared.  John disappeared a few seconds later while the boys got Xander uncovered.  It helped his breathing.  Some of that had been very heavy.  Why Xander needed a full silver body cast they weren't sure.  John reappeared without anything.

"I made my point," he said at the curious looks.  "They are not to bother any of you three."

"How many tried?" Sam asked, looking pained.

"Six, seven.  A few of the more evil ones wanted you both.  They're gone.  One gave me a very nice blessed shotgun for them.  I handed it back when I was done and said we don't accept presents.  That's not the Winchester way."  They smirked at that.  "So hopefully it'll stop."  A messenger demon showed up, handing John something.  It disappeared.  John opened the letter to look at it.  "Wonderful.  An accounting of what's his by demonic law."  He handed it over to Dean.

Sam read over Dean's arm.  "That's bad," Sam said.

Dean nodded.  "Very bad."  He looked up.  "You knew not to leave Xander alone."

They all disappeared in a flash of light.  All of Xander's harem.  No matter what world they were on.

Jack looked around, gun in his hand.  "This is not where we were."

"No, it's not," Daniel agreed.  He tried the radio.  "I can't reach them, Jack."  He heard a groan and turned around, finding some unconscious bodies.  "Hell."

Jack looked then let out his own groan.  "Wonderful."  He got John up.  "What happened?"

"No idea," he admitted, sitting up holding his head.  "Grab Xander's necklace?  The amber one?"  Daniel did that.  A demonic messenger appeared.  "We need stuff to write on."  Daniel got into his pack, handing over a notebook and pen.  John wrote out a message.

"Think you can get to where we were?" Jack asked.  The messenger demon nodded.  He wrote out his own, sealed it and put a name on the front.  "The Jaffa we work with or Sam Carter."  He nodded, disappearing with both notes.  "What is going on?"

"No clue.  We were at home.  Is the dog here?"

"No," Jack said, looking around.  He got Dean and Daniel got Sam up.  Xander was gotten up last.

Xander looked around.  "This is charming," he sneered.  "I'm not pleased!" he shouted.  Nothing happened.  "Fine, make me destroy another one!"  Still nothing.  He sighed, then looked around.  "Fucking hell."

"Using a Spike-ism?" Sam teased to calm Xander down.

"I deserve it."  He touched the marks on his hips.  The power was still there.  He felt one take note and sent a heavy prayer for ideas or orders.  He had no idea what they were doing.  He got back a 'survive' order.  "Ares said to hold on and survive."  They nodded, finding a way to set up a rudimentary camp.  Xander helped where he could.  He wasn't fully woods trained.  Just some survival training memories and the former camping he had done every Christmas.  "Faith's at home with the dog at least."  John smiled.  "It's a consideration.  Otherwise no one would feed him.  He'd starve."  He started the fire by magic when no one found matches.

"We'd use Teal'c's staff weapon," Jack told him.

"Hey, whatever works," Xander agreed.  A huge demon walked out of the woods to stare at them.  "Who're you?" he asked in one of the demon languages.

"Why are you here?"

"We were kidnaped against our will," Xander told him.  "We woke up here."

"You should not be here.  There are many bad things that could hurt you here."  He sniffed.  "Ah, you are one who draws us.  This must be a punishment to make you give up."  He looked at the others.  "Your harem should be gone."

"I didn't summon them.  They got kidnaped with me."

"What's he saying?" Jack asked.

"Many bad things, we shouldn't be here," Xander translated.  "This is a punishment to make us give up."  He looked at the demon again.  "Send us home and we'll leave."

"That is not my decision."

"The US Military will not like this," Daniel said.

The demon stared at him.  "Who says they have a say in what the masters do?"  He disappeared.

Xander grimaced, then walked off to throw a fit in the trees.  He came back calmer.  "I'm sorry my hormones have gotten you all kidnaped.  I can assure you something will be very sorry for his move."

"I told them the family was not accepting anything," John told him.  "At all.  I got a few of the suitors who tried when I said they had to all go through me."

Xander shrugged.  "It's easier to send it back than to argue most of the time.  That's why I don't."  John nodded he understood that.  "All right, let's start with the basics we'll be needing.  Food and that stuff."  They went to scout around the camp.  Xander climbed up a tree to look around.  He found a small village nearby.  He whistled, catching Jack's attention.  "That way about two miles is a village."

"Think we can trust it?"

"Since the demon said this was to make us give up?  Probably not."  He looked around some more before coming down.  "There's a village," he said once they were gathered.  Dean had gotten a demon bunny.

"If something shows up, I've had enough of this," Sam said.  Xander gave him a hurt look.  "Not that they did it, Xander, not because of the hormones.  You weren't backed up.  That they took us all.  Hold on, no Steve?"

"Steve's seen as staff, not part of the harem."

"Harem?" Daniel asked.

"It's how demons consider a non-related family group," Sam told him.  "The one who binds it together and their helpers.  Their lovers, their spouses, their caretakers, their protectors."  That got a nod.  "You two are apparently seen as guards or helpers."

"Now and then," Jack said dryly.  "How long will this one last back in the real world?"

"No clue," Sam admitted.  "Some can be months in that realm and only minutes back at home.  We've had one that seemed like a few weeks and it was nearly a year."

Jack nodded.  "That makes a strange sort of sense."

"It could be in real time, no clue," Xander admitted.  He looked at Daniel.  "Have you been training?"

"Yes, I have been."

"Good.  We'll work on that more."  That got a nod.  He patted his hair down.  "Guys, is mine in there?"  They looked then nodded, handing him his sword.  "All right.  FYI, guys.  If we're attacked, I am a berserker."  Jack groaned.  Daniel whimpered.  "I don't fully lose it most of the time.  When Willow did her thing I did.  I think they had to knock me out."

Dean nodded.  "Definitely."  He handed his father his gun.  Sam did the same.  "Since you've only got yours.  We've got our swords on us."

"Thanks, boys."  He put them into his waistband too.  "Now what?  Are we waiting?  Are we going to check on that village?"

Xander shrugged. "Do we think the village is safe?"

"Is here safer?" Sam countered.  "We're in the open.  They might be peaceful or at least amenable to helping."

"As a last resort we can hormone them," Dean agreed.  He rubbed his face.  "I don't like this."  A howl went up.  "Hellhounds.  Wonderful."

Xander grinned at him.  "Most hellhounds like me."

"Why?"

"I figure it was all the bitchiness I had before," he said dryly.  "What hellhound can compare herself to PMS Buffy and win?"  Jack snickered quietly.  One of the pack came into the open, sniffing them.  "Hey, hunter."  He got up and walked over.  The hellhound snarled.  He snarled back.  It gave him an odd look but Xander knelt and let it sniff him.  It lunged so Xander moved and got it down, snapping it's neck before it got more than his arm.

"Whoa," Jack said.  He pulled it over to look at in the firelight since the natural light was fading.  "Hold on, you're healing.  I thought that was only for small things."

"No, we're alive until you cut off our heads," Dean said quietly, glancing around.  Jack gaped.  "All of us.  Daniel's coming over to our side soon."

"I've been training."

"Good," Sam said.  Xander let the fire warm the area, watching it heal.  "Why didn't it like you?"

"Don't know.  I've never met one that didn't."

"They can be set onto a target," John pointed out.  "That was totally stupid, Xander."

Xander looked at him.  "Now we know and they could've been helpful."  He felt magic and looked around.  "Something bigger just appeared."  They gathered weapons.  Xander pulled something out of his hair, tossing it at John.  "Guard that.  If it rips it's all gone."  John nodded, looking at the expanding bag Xander had pulled off one of his hairpins.  Then inside.  He moaned a soul-deep moan.  Xander grinned. "That's why I wear hairpins everywhere.  They make good weapons no matter how often Dean yelps at being poked all night long."  A higher demon walked into the clearing with the pack around him.  "You would be?"

"You killed my minion."

"It bit me.  I tried to be friendly."

The demon glared.  "Why are you here?"

"If I knew the demon that brought us here, I'd give you his name," Xander told him.  "Unfortunately all I know is that we got kidnaped to here.  We're trying to figure out how to get home."

The demon snorted.  "A likely story.  A quarth...."  Xander shook his head.  "You must be."

"Some humans do have the same hormone problems."

"They don't draw outside their species."

"Unless they're from a hellmouth," Xander said dryly.  The demon's eyes went wide.  He stood up.  "Xander Harris, from the Sunnydale hellmouth."  He held out a hand.  "I'd like to get my family and friends home if you could help."

The demon stared.  "I've heard of you.  One guards you."

"We sent a message," John said.  "They think they're punishing us."  One of the dogs sniffed him.  "Don't even."  It backed off.  "They apparently think my boys aren't going to be able to handle things.  That they'll beg to be saved."

"Instead I'll go so evil that hell itself will beg for mercy," Xander told the demon. "My family is not going to be hurt."

"You're still a toy," he noted calmly.

"Who used to hunt demons."  The demon took a step back.  "Who trained at a temple of Ares when I was younger.  Do you think some camping is going to bother me?"

"No," he said, staring at this one in a new light.  "I can see why the one who claims your attention does."

"Vesvold's nice.  I can't be his because others would kill him for having me.  I won't do that to my friends."  He turned and threw a hairpin at a demon trying to sneak up behind Sam.  Then he looked back at him again.  "How do we get home?"

"You must exit this realm.  Those such as you can rip them apart."

"I know.  I've done it before," Xander said dryly.  "Immies aren't wanted on the realms.  How do I get my family and friends home?"

"The village has a mirror. It would take you to another area then you could get home from there."

"A quantum mirror?" Daniel asked.  The demon nodded.  "That means we'd have to cross a few alternate universes, guys."

"Been there," Dean said.

"Done that," Sam agreed.

"Too many times.  I hate that traveling method."  Xander looked at the demon.  "Any other way?"

"Your very presence here disturbs the fabric of this realm."

"That's not a really good option.  Is there another way?"

The higher demon stared.  "Only the brave may take it."

"We're no slouches in that department."

"There is a gateway that has no power and no known use that we know of.  It may be able to get you home."  He pointed.  "Two day's hike that way."

"I can get us there," Xander agreed. "In those foothills?"  He nodded.  "Then we'll travel that way once we've rested.  I wish you and this realm no harm."

"If I find who sent you here I will make them sorry for nearly destroying my people."  He burned the corpse of the dog.  "You still killed it."

"I tried for friendly, it bit me anyway."

"It knew you should not be here."

"A being has the right of self defense when attacked."

"True."  He bowed.  Xander bowed back.  "May I have your name?"

"Xander Harris.  Recently Winchester since the curse that deaged me got me sent to John and his boys."

"Ah, that one.  I will let the others know if you are not rescued."  He and his hellhounds faded back into the darkness.  "Do fear the dark."

"Not really," Dean said.  "We do hunt demons.  Have for years."  The dark laughed but the demon was gone.  "Can we use that?"

Xander nodded.  "I'll need to conserve magic probably."  That got a nod and he was settled between him and Sam.  "Now we know."

"We can start traveling that way in the morning," Jack said.  "If the demons want us to be careful of the dark I don't want to travel in it."

Xander nodded.  "I can see that.  Can I have my hairpin back, Sam?"  He retrieved it for him, burning it clean in the fire.  "Thank you."  He cooled it off by blowing on it before putting it back into his hair.  They settled in to make plans for the morning's hike.

***

Jack nudged John and pointed at Xander.  "How long can he stand to be that backed up?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know.  Boys?"  They all looked back at him.  "Backed up.  Go anoint some trees with it?"

"Can't, I might need it to help with the magic stuff if we need it," Xander said with a manic grin.  "Or the doggy tracking us for his master."

"Can you let some of it out?" John asked.  "Please?  Before we start thinking inappropriate thoughts?"

"Danger drives it back down," Dean said.  He looked at his father.  "We'll be fine if something happens.  He's right, if he's backed up his magic is stronger, Dad."

"Fine."  The adults fell back a few more steps so they wouldn't get hit so strongly with all three's pheromones.  Jack shook his head.  John looked at him.  "I only learned about this because of the boys," he said quietly.

"I did some more checking when you had me guarding him.  Danny found historical mentions."  That got a nod.  "Two days?"

"Two day's hike," John agreed.

"We'll live.  We've hiked longer with head injuries making us hallucinate," Daniel reminded him.

"Good point."  Jack nodded.  "I don't remember much of that planet except for the swirling colors I got from the concussion."  Daniel smiled and nodded he agreed.  They rested when they came to a stream, Xander's bag yielding a small filtration bottle.  Plus some ramen noddles, a pan, and some energy bars.  Jack dug into his portion of the bars.  Daniel ate one of his but put the other in his vest.  John ate his.  Dean and Sam both grimaced but ate theirs.  Sam had to sit Xander down since he was trying to handle things and was flitting around.  "Conserve your energy," Jack ordered.  Xander grimaced but sat down to eat his two bars too.  They all drank the filtered water then packed up and moved on again.  The trash was in the bag too.  They'd have to sort it out later Jack was sure but they'd handle it.  It was shrunken and back in John's shirt pocket.  They didn't run into any opposition except the terrain which was a nice change for most of the wooded hikes Daniel and Jack took for their job.

"Sir, I have SG-1's code," the gate tech yelled.  "I have no idea why."

"Open it," Hammond ordered as he walked in.  "It's probably O'Neill and Jackson.  They're the only ones still missing."  The iris opened and they walked through, then Xander passed out.  "What happened, Colonel?" he called.

Jack looked up.  "Stupid demons, sir."  Two hellhounds walked through the stargate.  "Aw, shit," he said, backing up.  Two more came through and a single one.  "Get them."

John turned, firing on one.  Dean got two more.  Daniel tried for one with his gun but it moved.  They got another one together.  The last one was hiding now.  Dean got one that tried to move, moving to guard Xander better.

"Boys?" Hammond called.  "Send them back through."

"Where's the other one?" Sam called.  "It's in camouflage."

"Under the gateway.  There's a life sign."

Dean looked, then shot.  It yelped and moved out of cover.  Sam got it when it came into the open, killing it.  They and John walked the bodies back up to the gateway, tossing them over.  Once they were done it shut down.  "Better.  Xander?" he called.  A doctor came rushing in.  "Hold it.  He only needs a nap.  He extended himself too far."

"We have a whole infirmary for all of you," she said firmly.

He smirked.  "No thanks."  He nudged Xander on the thigh with a foot.  "Xander?"  He blinked at him.  "Sit up.  We can nap later."

"Screw yourself.  I'm exhausted."  He let himself fall back under again.

She smiled.  "We can take you to the infirmary, sir."

"Hell no," Xander muttered.  "No doctors.  No castrating me; do not make me kill someone."

"Xander, that's my doc," Jack called.  "She's safe.  If she tries that I get to beat her."

Xander groaned but sat up, holding his head.  "When can I nap?"

"Once I make sure you're fine," the doctor said.

Xander looked at her.  "I hate doctors.  Get off."  She moved back.  Sam helped him up and held him until he could catch his balance again.  "Better."  He looked at them.  "We all good?"  They nodded.  "Good.  Then let's find home.  How long has it been?"

Jack checked his automatically updating watch.  "Six months."

Hammond walked in.  "Which is why I'd like an explanation."

"They wanted us to give up and beg, sir," Daniel said.

"Pity," Xander agreed.  "It was only three days on that side.  Sorry, if I knew how to stop that one I'd do it."

"That's fine.  I'm assuming you're Mr. Harris?"  Xander nodded.  "How did you get back?"

"They had an unhitched gate," Daniel said.  "Xander figured out how to power it with magic.  We dialed home."

"I'd like a more comprehensive account," Hammond said.  "After you all get checked over in the infirmary."  Xander snorted.  "Yes, you will, Mr. Harris."

He looked at him.  "As much as I respect Jack, your uniform, and your duty, I'm not in the military.  I do not like doctors because many of them like to hurt people like me.  I'll heal.  I'm like that."  He looked at Jack.  "I'm sorry they sucked you into that."

"It happens," Jack said.  "You can trust the docs here."

"No I can't."  He stared at him, then smiled and took his hairpin back from Jack's pocket.  Jack groaned.  "I can't risk that, Jack."  He looked at her.  "As nice as he says you are, I'm special and I can't let that be noticed by a medical person.  I'm only suffering from magic exhaustion.  I'll be fine with a good dinner or a nap."

"I still need to make sure you didn't bring back anything strange.  Like an alien parasite."

"It won't live in me."

She blinked then pulled him aside.  "I've seen any number of patients, Mr. Harris."

"Not like me."

"Including the GHS aliens recently."

"Still not what I'm worried about."

She groaned.  "Is this the same problem that meant Daniel's broken foot healed without intervention?" she asked quietly.  He nodded.  "I can still check you over and not note that.  I don't note his."

"Your staff?"

"That I can't guarantee."  He nodded, stepping back.  "I'll do yours myself."

"That would be *ours*," Dean noted calmly.

She stared then at Daniel, who nodded.  "If I must."  They nodded, letting Jack herd them that way.  The general huffed and followed.  They were fine.  Xander needed some juice.  He was taking a nap on a bed while the others were getting checked over, as long as one of his guards was there.

Willow walked in and over to Xander, staring before poking him.  Sam nearly took her head off.  "Hey!  I wanted to apologize!"

"He's exhausted," Sam said firmly.  "You can write a letter."  She pouted.  "The last time he saw you, you had us attacked and it's a damn good thing he's the guy he is."  She nodded, looking down.  "Write a letter, Willow."

"Like you never made a mistake," she hissed.

"Not that sort."

"Sam," John warned.  "You can come see him when he's not exhausted."  She nodded, backing up.  "Thank you, Willow."  She looked at him.  "Give it a few weeks."

"I can do that.  Buffy too."

"We'll see," John said.  She nodded quickly.  "Shoo."  She rushed out.

"We don't like her?" the general asked.

"We're the reason you got her," Dean told him, coming out of the exam area.  "She had us attacked by an overwhelming force."

"I heard."  He looked at them, not staring at the sleeping man.  He hadn't woken up through any of that.  "Is he all right?"

"Magical exhaustion.  He and Sam powered the gate together," John said.

"How?"

"I have no clue," Daniel admitted.  "Xander's a high priest to a few of the older gods; he got an idea, he plugged himself in, and Sam helped him.  We dialed home, sent the code, then came through.  The hellhounds were probably trailing us to make sure we came here instead of anywhere else.  What we are can ruin places like that.  It doesn't mesh well with the power that makes them."

"I see," Hammond said.  "Is it something we can use in the future?"

"Not without draining Xander," Sam said.  "Ask Willow.  That's her thing.  Xander's very minor and shouldn't be doing more than speeding up the garden.  It was that or be killed."

Hammond nodded slowly.  "I see.  How would we quantify this to explain it?"

Jack shrugged.  "I don't do science stuff.  I only guarded.  I'm good at that."

Hammond smacked him on the back.  "I know that, Jack.  Boys?  You?" he asked John.

"I'm a demon hunter.  I've only dealt with magic by stopping people doing bad forms of it."

"Xander's got enough power to grow plants or open things that're already there," Sam said.  "The basics of what Willow can do."

"I'll ask her how he did it then," he agreed.  "How did he pull up enough?"

"Emergencies make it necessary," Dean said simply.  "We all get a lot of creative when emergencies happen, sir."

"Good point," Hammond said.  "You are?"

"Dean.  That's Sam, our father John.  Xander."

"I figured out who he was.  I met him for a few minutes a while back.  You're his keeper?"

"We're his keepers," Dean agreed.  "Dad guards us and keeps the demons from keeping us."

Hammond nodded.  "Are there realms that aren't demon related?"

"Probably," Sam said.  "But you'd have to ask someone from the DPP about that."

"Who?"

"Demonic Police Plane," Sam translated.  He found Xander's necklace in Jack's pocket, handing it over.  "To their realm.  We have another one at home.  Willow can summon one down to ask those sort of questions to."

Buffy walked in.  "Six months?"

"Three days there," Dean said patiently.  "He's napping off the exhaustion of getting us back, Buffy.  Come down in a few days."

"You're...?"

"Dean.  That's Sam."

She looked then nodded slowly.  "Okay.  Can I apologize?"

"Give him a few days to finish recovering and check on the house," Dean ordered.

"Sure, I get that.  He needs bananas and orange juice.  Willow does."

"We'll get him something on the way home," Dean promised.  He caught the piece of fruit that fell from the ceiling.  "That'll work very well."  He tossed it to Sam.  He looked at her, smiling fakely.  "Let him nap?"

"Sure, I'll let him nap.  I'll let Jack drive us down in a few days when he has some free time so we can apologize."

"Thank you," Sam said.  "Can we head soon?  Faith's got to be worried sick."

"Faith?" Buffy asked.

"She's house-sitting," Sam told her.

"Oh."

"Bogart?" Xander murmured.

"I'm sure he's fine, Xander.  We'll head home soon."  Dean called her, smiling when she grabbed the phone.  "Hey, Faith," he called.

"Bogart?" Xander called.

"She said he's fine and he's been moping in your bed, Xander."  Dean nodded.  "How soon?" he asked Jack.

"Have her drive up.  It'll be about an hour," he promised.  "Let us debrief you guys."  They nodded and Dean said that then hung up.  "She okay?"

"Panicked.  Not even Vesvold could find us."

Xander lifted his head to look at him.  "I'm going to kill the sucker that did that if I see him again."

"We," Sam corrected.

"Definitely we," Daniel agreed.  Hammond looked at him.  "I don't like being stolen any more than anyone else does."  Sam rushed in.  "Emergency happening?" he teased with a smile.

"Where were you?" she demanded, giving him a hug.

"Something decided to punish Xander for saying no," Dean told her.  She gaped at him.  He shrugged.  "Took all of us."  He looked at Sam, who helped Xander sit up.  "What do you want to know, General? We have no idea where it is or half the things you want us to know."

"You're still on a classified base, son."

Xander blinked at him.  "The demonic underground already knew about the gateway but they think you're traveling to other realms."  Hammond gaped.  Xander grinned.  "I knew of Jack before I met Jack.  Did anyone tell you if others like me were taken?"

"They did," Jack agreed.  "We've talked with two who'd gladly change over to a new keeper if we can arrange the present bad one to go away."  Xander grinned.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  He slid off the bed, looking at the doctor, who nodded he was fine.  "Can we go?  I want my tub and my dog."

Hammond grimaced.  "Your tub?"

"I have a specially built huge tub with jets and things.  It'll help me take a nap to recover."

"I can understand that."

"We'd love to have something like that around here for after the bad cases," Jack said.  "That was not a hint, Xander."

Xander nodded. "I have to find Steve anyway."  He looked at the general.  "Sir, with all due respect, you're not stranger than the demons who think I'm all that and could be theirs if their price is right.   I saw the aliens who had the same sort of hormone condition I have when they showed up.  I'm the one who called you guys.  I could care less about your big ring thingy with the picture symbols.  It's not in a language I read.  I grew up doing demonic research.  This stuff... science stuff, bores me to death."

John patted him on the back.  "He's sorry he's missing tact but he's tired, General."

"I can see why," he agreed. "We'll be debriefing you boys tomorrow at your house.  Do not tell anyone anything about this project.  I know Mr. Harris has a security rating."

"I also have a file that says I bite," Xander said dryly, cracking Jack up.  "He said so."

"You do," Hammond agreed.  "I'll be seeing you tomorrow, boys."

"Yes, sir," they agreed, saluting him properly.  He smiled, letting them go.  John saluted as well before leaving.

Jack smiled.  "They're not the average boys."

"How does Harris know how to salute?"

"He was possessed by a soldier's spirit way back when.  That's how he knows artillery and tactics."

"Interesting."  He looked at them.  "Doctor, are they all right?"

"They're fine," she agreed.  "They're not the average young man but they all checked out fine, sir."

"Good.  This specialness?"

"Is something that is not allowed to get into the open knowledge base," she said firmly.

"Why?"

Daniel walked him off to a quiet corner where no one could overhear them.  He pulled out the hairpin he had of Xander's and stabbed his hand then let him see it healing.  Hammond gaped.  "For some of us we're born this way," he said very quietly.  "It's also why Xander carries a sword.  It's a long story and it is not allowed to get into any database, sir."

"How are you going to be explaining this?"

"I'm not or it's too many times in a sarcophagus.  Or where we just were."

"Agreed.  I would like a more comprehensive briefing.  Just for my own peace of mind?"

"As long as it does not get past your ears.  You and Jack."

"I know but I have no idea why and I don't want to know," Doctor Frasier told him.

"Good."  He looked at Daniel.  "I can see why they're paranoid."

"Xander's been stolen a few good times."  He walked back over to Jack and Sam.  "Now what?"

"Now, debrief," the general said patiently.  They went to the meeting area to do that.  Teal'c ran into them on the way and followed to hear what had happened.

***

Xander saw his SUV.  He smiled, coming over to hug it when Faith stopped.  "I missed you too, baby.  Did you keep the Impala company?"

Faith got out, looking at him.  "Where were you?"

"It was only three days there," John told her.  "Long story.  Hellhounds too."

"Charming."  She let him have the driver's seat, helping Dean get Xander into the back.  Sam got the front seat while they squished into the comfier back area.  "What happened?" she asked as they pulled away from the base's gate.  "He's clearly drunk or something."

"They wanted to punish us for not giving in," Dean told her.  "It was three days there and he's got magical exhaustion from getting us back.  Sammy helped."

"Hey, the big tub works," she promised.  "Steve even upgraded the tub in the master bedroom and moved his huge, heavy tub into Sam's room so he has one of those designer tubs in his now."

Xander blinked at her.  "Steve did home improvement?"

"Only to update your tub and move your old one to Sam's room.  Plus to fix the patch job in the GHS bathroom."  He nodded, humming a bit, resting his head on Dean's shoulder.  "Sure, you nap.  We'll gab later."

"Buffy and Willow want to come down in a few days to apologize," Dean said quietly.

"We'll handle it," she agreed.

Dean smiled.  "How did things go?"

"The cops got a bit antsy but I showed them the note and begged Vesvold to come talk to them.  He brought DPP people.  That impressed them and it's cool."  John pulled onto the main road into town.  "We're fine.  I haven't driven the porsche.  Or the Impala.  Or the truck."

"Did you start it?" Dean asked.

She gave him a clueless look.  "Why would I?"

"The battery can die," Dean said.  "I'll handle it.  How's the neighborhood?"

"It's good.  A lot of them have moved.  Steve's considering a plan to tear down a few and keep a few as guest houses but to plant more trees.  Plus a huge fence facing the new mall going up."

"What's going in?" John asked.

"They're still building the buildings.   It looks like a Sears or Penny's, maybe a Macy's.  A few smaller ones.  A few restaurants on the edges of the parking lot."

"Hmm," Xander said.  "We'll have to see if it's worth it."  He yawned.  "Are they threatening the neighborhood?"

"No.  They're going to be extending one of the nearby streets to go that way."  They pulled through the downtown.  John waved at a cop, getting a shocked look.  "The news you're back is going to be around soon, X."

"Good.  Safer," he mumbled.  Dean stroked Xander's back, letting him fall asleep.

"One other small thing changed," Faith admitted.  Sam looked back at her.  "Someone's pet tiny beast decided to move in while you guys were gone."  Sam groaned.  "The parents apparently left it in their house when it was foreclosed on.  It came running over.  It was starved.  She likes to watch Bogart play and romp.  She cuddles very well.  Bogart thinks she's a pillow and a toy."

Xander snored.  Dean grinned.  "We'll see the little thing when we get there.  They'll be down to debrief tomorrow."

"Sure," she agreed.  "We need food.  I ate all the frozen stuff and the pasta.  I can't cook."

"Me either," Dean admitted.  "More than mac 'n cheese."

"It was easy to cook when you guys were little," John said.  "He spoils us horribly by cooking such fancy stuff."  He pulled onto another street, pulling over when the lights went on behind him.  He turned off the engine after rolling down the electric window.  "Yes, Officer?  Did I forget to signal again?"

"You're finally back?"

"We are.  It was another stupid thing that wanted us," Sam said.  "This was his idea of punishment."

"I see.  Are you guys all right?"

"We were taken with Jack," Sam said with a grin.

John smiled at that.  "And Daniel."

The cop moaned.  "At least you're all fine.  Xander?"

"Napping," Dean said, lowering the back window.  Xander snuffled.  "The cop wanted to make sure you're okay."

Xander blinked at the cop, waving a bit.  "Tired."

"Sure, you sleep.  There's a new chief and he wanted to talk to you when you got back."  Xander nodded at that.  "Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow we're being debriefed since Jack's on active duty and he got stolen too," John said.  "The next day?  That way he has time to deal with things?"  The cop nodded.  "Thank you for looking out for us."

"Not a problem, sir."  He shook his hand.  "Have a good trip home.  Faith was very good while you were gone."

John smiled.  "That's what I'd expect."  He laughed as he walked off.  "A lot of problems?"

"Not too many."  John started the engine and moved them on.  "A few delivery guys.  I hit on one."

"Good," Dean agreed.  "That's good for you."  She smacked him on the arm.  "Was he good?"

"Pretty decent."  John smiled back at her before going through the newly green light.  Another ten minutes and they were home.  "Buttons is probably inside shedding on the couch."  She went ahead.  "Bogart, gather your toy.  Daddy's home!"  The dog went racing out.

"Hey, Bogart," Sam said, getting out to pet him.  "Such a good boy.  Very good boy."  He helped Dean out of the back then helped him and John get Xander out.  "Look, daddy's home."  Bogart barked and tried to get Xander to pet him.  "Let daddy nap, Bogart."

Dean picked the dog up with a groan.  "She overfed you, dog."  Bogart lapped Xander until he woke up and cooed with an ear pet.  "Let's get you into the bath, Xander."  He nodded, taking his dog to carry in that way.  He stopped to look at the mini pincher.  "Is that Buttons?"  Faith nodded.  "It's....vicious looking in an ankle biter way."  Xander came back to look.  "That's Buttons.  It decided it lived here."

"Okay."  He went back to the bath with his other dog.  He could love two dogs.  He cooed at his new tub.  "That's a nice one Steve found us, huh, Bogart?"  The dog barked.  He grinned, settling in to pet the puppy while it filled.  He had to lean over to plug the drain but that was fine.  It gave him more time to play with the dog.  Dean walked in.  "Tub," he said with a pet and a grin.

"It's a huge tub, dude."  He took a kiss from him and the dog gave him one too.  "I missed you too, dog."  He petted him.  They both smiled.  "Get into the tub.  Want a soda?"

"Please?  And a snack?"

"Snack I think I can do."  He went to talk to John.  "Snack?"

"Snack we can do."  He got to work on a few sandwiches, cutting them into triangles for the boy.  Dean poured him some soda and it was good.  Dean went to deliver and check his room.  Sam was talking to Steve.  John had checked the armory.  It was fine.  Clean and well maintained.

Sam walked in with the phone between his shoulder and ear.  "We're fine, Steve.  I promise.  No, no new presents this time.  Dean, did Xander like the tub?"

"He was petting it."

"He was petting it, Steve.  Yeah, we're good.  Debriefing, the new captain of the PD wants to talk the next day but we're home for a while.  Sure.  I called Adam first so he could quit worrying.  Sure.  Thanks for fixing those, Steve.  Yup, we're here.  We'll see you soon."  He hung up.  "He doesn't like the land taxes."

"The more acres the bigger the tax," John pointed out.  Sam nodded.  "Go check on your tub."  He went to do that, petting the old claw foot tub.  Then he went to check Xander's new tub.  He was chilling and napping in the jets with bubbles.  The dog was in with him.  He took a picture, getting Dean and John in to see too.  They smiled and left the boy alone.  Someone knocked so John went to get it.  "Yes, Officer?"

"Mr. Winchester.  Is Mr. Harris back as well?"

"He's asleep in the tub.  Is there a problem?"

"Apparently he never showed up for his hearing yesterday?  The judge sent me to do a wellness check.  I told him you had been kidnaped for a while but were expected back soon."

"That thing with his parents," Sam complained as he came out.  "When is it?"

"I have no idea but he needs to call."

"We can do that when we get up."  The officer handed over the sheet.  "Thank you for watching out for our stuff."

"Not a problem, sir.  Faith didn't have any problems.  The new fence is nice and not ugly.  The builders putting up the mall like it because it blends well with the trees.  The city liked it because it wasn't ugly."  Sam smiled.  "They weren't sure why he was buying up the neighborhood."

"More safety if no one lives next door.  Plus more trees," John said.

"That's fine.  I'm sure someone will ask soon."  He shook their hands.  "Welcome back.  Call us if you need us."

"Of course," Sam said with a grin.  "We like you guys."

"Thank you.  We like you guys and your creative chaos you bring too."  He left, going to the office to pass that on.  "Sir," he said, finding the new head of the PD there waiting on him.  "Mr. Harris is back.  He's asleep in the tub.  I told them about the wellness check.  They'll call.  I told them about the praise for the fence their manager put up.  That the city council wasn't sure why he wanted to buy up more of the neighborhood.  John said it was safer for Mr. Harris plus they wanted to plant more trees.  Probably with a few guest houses."  That got a single nod.  "They're to be debriefed tomorrow since they got taken with someone who was active military."

"They let people like Harris into the military?"

"If they're not as bad as he is, it's probably easier to keep from being so backed up and confused from the hormones," he offered.  "John said he'd be more than happy to see you the day afterward so you didn't have to wait on the debriefing to be done."

"I can do that," he agreed.  "Trees?"

"Trees are good for people, sir.  Probably some useful trees as well.  The ones he already has are well tended and mostly useful trees."

"I guess it'd be nice.  Especially from the mall side."

"Did Harris look all right?"

"He was asleep in the tub."

"That's fine.  Anything look bad?"

"They looked a bit tired but they did just get home from being stolen."

"Good.  I'll see them the day after tomorrow."  He smiled.  "The thing with the wellness check?"

The officer smirked.  "His parents are suing him for leaving home and not taking care of them."  The head of the Colorado Springs police department burst out laughing, having to grab a desk before he fell down.  "Exactly."  He went back to his desk to make notes.  They'd handle it.  They always did.

***

Xander hugged Steve when he came in the next morning.  "I love the tub but one of the jets doesn't work."  He grinned. "But I love it anyway."

"We can find someone to look at it," Dean promised.  "Or move it to my room."  Steve grinned at that.  "We can.  That one won't fit Sammy when he feels like cuddling.  It barely fit him and the dog cuddling."

Xander spit at him.  "Behave."

"Fine."  He waved his coffee cup.  Steve nodded.  "We're expecting a general."

"That's fine.  I need to go over the property taxes."  He walked Xander into the study to talk to him about this insane, expensive plan of his.  Dean brought in coffee for him.  Xander got a plate of food and a nudge to eat.  Xander kissed him for it.  Dean went to talk to the general when he came in.  "Sir."

"Mr. Winchester.  Is everyone up?"

"Xander's financial manager is in to nag about the property taxes.  Xander's eating breakfast with him."

"That's fine.  I can start with you and your father.  Is there somewhere we can sit that he can't hear?"

"Sure."  He took him to his bedroom.  "Sammy, get dressed," he called as he walked past Xander's bedroom door.  Sam would hear no matter which room he was in.  He let him in.  "It's pretty clean.  I don't throw clothes around too often."  He sat on the bed, letting the General have the desk.  "I'm not sure what we can tell you."

"Let's start with who took you all."

Dean shrugged.  "I know we met one there but he was mad at whoever sent us too.  What we are can destroy the fabric of some realms.  The guy there with the hellhounds was not happy to have so many of us there.  He tried to get us to use a portal thing that Daniel compared to a quantum mirror."

"Okay."

"We have a way of moving by magic.  It'd mean we'd have to hit each and every one single realm between the two points for about ten seconds while the magic tests to see if you're home.  Xander had to do it once.  It took him two hours to get back from one.  He has drunk parents and he went right for a bar afterward."  The general shuddered.  "Exactly. If there's going to be that sort of stress we agreed it'd be best to be a last ditch effort.  He mentioned a gateway, we went to find it."

"How did you get it to work?"

"Daniel and Jack looked it over.  Daniel said there was no power.  Xander asked what sort of power it needed.  How much, how long.  He has weak magical skills.  He thought he could pull up that since he hadn't done any in days.  He lit a fire but it wasn't that hard.  It nearly killed him to do it, which was when Sam jumped in to help him and used the latent talent his taint gave him."

"Taint?"

"Back when Sammy was six months old, a demon decided he wanted Sammy to be his heir.  He tainted him and he's the one who killed our mom.  He also killed Sam's girlfriend to get him back into the hunting so he could grab him better."

"That's got to be painful."

"Very.  Xander's the first real cheery Sammy I've seen since she died."

The general nodded.  "I can see that.  I know he frustrates Jack to no end but he usually isn't too irritated at the boy."

"Us too."  The general smiled.  "Anyway, Sammy grabbed on and shared somehow.  No idea how.  That's magic stuff and usually we only break in to stop it.  Xander had to take some lessons because he can make plants grow."

"I had Miss Rosenburg explain that part to me.  He used his own power to power it?"  Dean nodded.  "Our scientists said that it's impossible."

"Magic isn't exactly what they deal with."

"Good point."  He settled in.  "The beasts that followed you back?"

"Hellhounds.  The one who told us about the gate apparently had them follow us to make sure we were going.  I have no idea why they followed us through the gateway."

"Should we expect to run into more?"

"Depends on if you guys usually go to demon realms," he offered.

"Not as far as I know."

"That's good.  If not, have Buffy deal with it.  It's her calling."

"I can do that.  We also called down the DPP people to see if they could explain how many realms there were and how many had gateways."  He handed back the necklace.  "Captain Carter is very happy with the new information."

"I'm glad for her.  I sucked in science."

"So did I."  Sam leaned in.  "Come in."  Sam came in and sat on the foot of the bed, crossing his legs so he could lean on them.  "How did you augment Mr. Harris' natural power?"

"No clue," Sam admitted.  "It felt like he sucked through me and him into it.  He grabbed my hand when I made him and it drew through him to it."

"All right.  Miss Rosenburg thought it might be something like that.  Does it effect that specialness you three boys share?"

"Not as far as I can tell," Sam said.  "Do I feel any different?"

"No.  I felt you when you got the little lap cushion from out back.  You felt like normal to me.  I can't tell the difference though."

"Xander thinks Adam can.  If so it'll probably be fixed sometime soon," Sam told him.  "We do heal."

He nodded.  "I can understand that."   He looked at the boys.  "What about the gateway?"

They both shrugged.  "To be totally honest, sir.  Unless you can send me to Kirk's planet with all the pretty girls in short skirts, why would I care?" Dean asked.  The general chuckled.  "Honestly."

"I'd think it'd be amusing to study but it's not my field," Sam offered.  "I nearly went to law school."

"Does this lead to extended lives?"

"Until our heads come off."

"Ah, I see.  So maybe in a few decades?"

"If we're not doing anything and you need guys like us, maybe," Dean agreed.  "Xander would make a great ambassador."  Sam gave him an odd look.  "No one would ever be mad at him, dude.  Even if he insulted them or slept with their wives."

"They might think we're all like that," Hammond said.  "Though he does seem to have a knack for getting himself out of trouble."

"You have *no* idea," Sam said with a grin.  "Xander's gotten himself out many things.  Repeatedly.  In the same day even.  Back before the curse that deaged him and gave him to us, he had one day that he was nearly taken about sixty times.  Including by officers in New York."  Hammond moaned at that.  "With a bodyguard helping him shop."

"That boy would drive me more nuts than Jack O'Neill does."  He stood up.  "Do you think Mr. Harris can tell me how he did it?"

"Ask," Sam offered.  "Xander?"  He came walking in with both dogs following him.  "What is that thing?"

Xander looked then at him.  "Cuddly pillow for Bogart.  General, what do I need to tell you about?"

"How did you figure you could power it?"

Xander lowered his pants, making the man blush.  "The tattoos are to the gods I anchor for.  Ares, Strife, and Cupid for the most part.  I prayed to Ares and he agreed I could do it but it'd be very hard.  He told me to dump raw power into it, no focusing or anything like a spell.  Sam grabbed on so I sucked some of his so I didn't die from my own being drained so far down."  He pulled back up his pants.  "We're paying fifty thou a year for property taxes."  Dean hissed and Sam looked alarmed.  "Because we're in this zoning district.  The city council is thinking about rezoning thanks to the mall.  We can ask them to rezone us too so we're cheaper.  It'd fall to about thirty if we buy the whole neighborhood and plant a lot of trees.  He thinks the city wants part of it though."

Dean nodded.  "We'll have to ask."

"We can do that," Sam agreed.  "That's still outrageous."

Xander nodded.  "But we have a lot of house and a lot of trees."

"Good point."  He looked at the general then at Xander.  "Did anyone find out who or what did it?"

"Vessie did."  Vesvold appeared, giving him a hug.  "I missed you too even though it was only three days for us."  He smiled.  "Who did it so I can go yell?"  He handed the general a report.  Xander pouted.  "You got him for me?"

"Of course.  He pissed me off to no end."  He kissed him on the forehead.  "Are you going to be a good boy today?"

"Of course.  I'm staying inside."

"Good."  He smiled.  "I ask because there's a new one in town and he's a hunter, Xander."

Xander nodded.  "He comes here and we're on holy ground."

"Excellent."  He kissed him again.  "My mother's being fussy."

"Why?  Can I help?"

"Only if you can give her more grandchildren."

"We're sterile but I'll understand if you want to find a new breeder."

"That's good of you."  He smirked.

Xander gave him an evil smirk back.  "I'll have to tell them to take care of you and cook for you."

"I have cooks."

"A real concubine can please you in more than bed, Vessie," he breathed in his ear.  "In and out of bed, make you things to please your mind and stomach, and they should serve some other use as well.  Secretary, accountant, something like that.  Plus be able to protect you and themselves."  Vesvold let out a deep, aching moan.  "Find one so I can teach them the right way."  Vesvold nodded, taking a kiss before disappearing.  He grinned.  "He'll find a good concubine for me to instruct on how to take care of someone properly."

Dean pulled him down.  "You were teasing."

"Not on purpose."

"You were teasing," Sam said.

"I was telling him what he needed to find."  They both gave him a dirty look so he shrank down.  "I didn't mean to tease."

"No more teasing, Xander."

"He said there's a hunter in town."

"Our sort?"

"No."

"We'll handle it," Dean promised, pulling him closer.  "No more teasing."

"Yes, Dean."  He looked at him.  "He should have a concubine that can take care of him in more than the bedroom and be good for more than that."

"They should be," Sam agreed, pulling him closer.  Dean gave him a look.  "I can cuddle.  You don't like cuddling."  The dogs hopped up and Bogart got Xander and Sam.  The new one stared at Dean before climbing into his lap and laying down with a huff of pleasure.

Dean looked at the dog.  "Whenever I think about owning a dog, it's usually bigger."

"Its mommy abandoned it," Xander protested.  "Pet her, Dean."

"Fine."  He petted the little beast.  It yelped in pleasure but that was fine.

The general shook his head.  "Sometimes I'm not sure if you boys aren't insane."

"It's all the hunting," Sam said dryly.

"It must be.  Thank you, boys.  You do know you cannot talk or say a word about the project, even to those who might already know?"

"Why would they ask us?" Xander asked.  "We're not geeky like that.  They know very well I'd never have a clue how it worked."

"Good.  Just don't say anything without checking with me first, boys.  Or Jack if you have to."  He stood up, shaking their hands before leaving.  He went to warn John as well.  He and Steve were talking but John agreed readily enough.  He left to let them handle their financial matters.  He didn't understand that stuff either.

Steve walked into the bedroom, looking at the boys.  "Are we going to continue to buy up the neighborhood?"

"What does the city want to do with it?" Xander asked.

"Put up a few condos and use some of the end as a park."

"Would we have to move?"

"No," Steve said.  "It'll be one of those eco friendly, walker friendly neighborhoods."

"For yuppies with bikes?" Dean asked.

Steve nodded.  "Basically."

"Can we put up a better fence?" Dean asked.

"Probably.  Especially to keep your private park away from their park."

"Can we have lower property taxes?" Xander asked.

"I'll ask."  He patted the boy on the head.  "Behave, let me talk to them."  He went to do that.  This was going to drive him nuts and if they had to move it was going to create problems.  He found the right office and knocked before walking in.  "Is the Mayor busy?"

"Not at the moment.  Who may I say is here to see him?"

"Steve Ellison.  I handle financial matters for Mr. Harris.  He lives where they're thinking about rezoning and some questions have come up."

"Let me check, sir."  She called and said that quietly.  She looked up.  "Is he back?"

"He managed to save himself and those stolen with him.  They got back last night."

"That's good."  She said that then the mayor came out to talk to him.  She hung up the phone and got back to her filing duties.

Steve sat down, straightening out his coat.  "Sir, Mr. Harris had a few questions about the planned rezoning."

"I'm sure he does."

"The first is if you plan on trying to seize his house."

"No, I have no plans of that."  He uncovered the plans.  "This is what we're planning.  As you can see, I plan on making the area from across the street to the other street a park.  Then putting the condos on the other side of that park.  That leaves his area for a few good sized lots."

"Xander owns these six," he said, getting up to point at them.  The mayor moaned.  "With his hormones it's safer if no one lives next to him."

"Can he sell back the two there to make one lot?" he suggested.  "That would give him a good sized one.  He would be more than welcome to put up good fences.  There'll be one on the side of the park too."

"That's good.  How many housing lots were you thinking of making that into?"

"I was hoping about three or four good sized, higher end ones."

"Xander's already paying an exhoribant amount of property taxes."

"He is?"

"Fifty thousand this year."  The mayor winced.  "Exactly."

"Giving up those two would mean he would pay less."

"Is the rezoning going to lower that?"

"Perhaps a bit."

"That would be helpful."  He pulled out a pad to make notes.  "I know the three on the end are for sale.  I've held off on buying them for him because of the distance."  He pointed.  "This would be a good corner lot.  Make another one here.  If you extend the road around you could put one there beside the condos.  Less costly probably but still nice.  Fairly private as well since that would butt up against a highway they're extending due to the mall.  Also, this street is going to be a traffic mess.  It's already one really."

The Mayor nodded.  "We're planning on a light here," he said.  "That could help."

He pointed a few streets back.  "Branch it off here.  It's a straight shot, it's past a few stores that could use the new customers probably, and you wouldn't get the retirement home complaining."

"What did you do before you managed his money?" he asked with a slight smile.

"I ran a race track for my boss.  Unfortunately I had to turn him in for doing some very bad economic things.  The Feds were not happy."

"I can see why."

"My father runs a multi-national business."

"That's where I've heard the Ellison name."

"Fortunately we don't speak.  He would not know how to deal with Xander."  That got a nod and a smirk.  "There are a few shops there that could use the business.  Including a small grocery store Xander likes for their produce if I remember right."

"That's good to know."  He made notes on that.  "Would he consider selling those lots?"

"As long as we could ensure his security and privacy.  One of the big problems with the current neighborhood is that people can get in his gate.  Beyond the officers responding or checking on him."

"As long as it's reasonable.  Not razor wire or electrified too high.  Nothing too ugly."

"Xander would probably never allow it."

"Good to know."  He shook his hand.  "You can reassure him and I'll bring those ideas to the board.  Are you local?"

"Cascade, Washington."  He handed over his card.  "Call me if you need help with him.  I'll talk to him about those two lots."  He left, going to get a burger on the way home.  Xander clearly wasn't up to cooking yet.  He found the boys on the couch, zoned out on cartoons.  "Xander?"  Xander blinked up at him.  "C'mon."  He took him to explain the plan to him.  Xander nodded through it and the simple diagram he created.  "What they'd like is these two."

"The blue and the red house?"

"The red and the white one with purple shutters."

"That should be a safe distance even if I let go with a hormone bomb."

"It would be.  I hope."  Xander grinned.  "That would give you a few neighbors and the park to worry about.  We can up the gate to something more sturdy but it can't be ugly.  They're going to be the sort that'll be concerned about appearances."

"So no running around naked in the yard?"

"Do they let you do that now?"

"The older ladies up the street like it when I do.  They giggle."

"I'm sure you're the thrill of their lives."  Xander smirked.  "The one across the street?"

"She gasps and turns away then tapes it."

"Ah.  Maybe you should quit."

"Nah.  It's fun."  He grinned.  "I called the judge about the lawyer missing the appointment about the stupid parents.  Apparently he's in jail for tax evasion."

"Charming.  How long do we have to get a new one?"

"I have to appear there Saturday."

"We can get you there."

"I called Angel's crew to see if they had a better lawyer who could help.  They're not sure yet.  So I may end up doing it on my own."

"Take the herbs," he said dryly.

"Oh, I'm already working it out in my head.  My first question is going to be 'please show me in the legal code where it says I have to upkeep their lifestyle if I don't consider it a good one'."

"That's a good place to start.  I'll look too."

"Thank you."  He gave him a hug.  "Anything else I should know?"

"Not right now.  Go back to your cartoons.  Don't worry about lunch, I already ate."  Xander beamed and went to wiggle his way back into his spot.  Dean gave him an odd look but oh well.  He was going to be trapped watching more cartoons.  Steve showed John so he could get to work on fence ideas.  Strong, functional, and not ugly didn't always go together very well.

***

Xander walked into the courtroom, putting his bag down on the table.  "I'm sorry I'm a bit late, Your Honor.  I had to fly into LAX instead of the local airport.  They're closed due to staffing issues again."

"Where is your attorney?"

"In jail for tax evasion."  The judge moaned.  "Sorry.  If I had known I'd have taken care of it sooner.  Unfortunately I didn't hear until after I got back from the last kidnaping."

"Kidnaping?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"A unique hormone condition that drives people nuts."  He sat down, looking at his family.  Then back at the judge.  "I have a lawyer who may be able to show up.  He's not sure yet.  It was awfully short notice."

"I can understand that.  Do you think you can give a concise opening statement?"

"I can sure try.  It might not be in lawyer speak by someone did help me some.  Unfortunately he had to stay home to handle something else."  A challenge and Sam had made him come anyway.  He had knocked him out and put him on the plane actually.  Sam was getting spanked when he got home.  "Is it my turn?"

"It is.  You can start, Mr. Harris."

"Thank you."  He looked at the other lawyer.  "I'd like you to open any book of laws in the US and show me the lines that say it's my job to take care of them."  The lawyer gaped.  "Any law book at all.  I looked on the law sites and couldn't find it.  My old lawyer said it's not in any book either.  It's considered a good thing to do, but not illegal not to.  I also want you to show me where it says I have to pay them to live a life I don't accept or want to deal with.  Because I'm not going to give them money to drink it away.  I spent too much time trying to get away from them and their liquor to ever fund them drinking more of it.  Why should I pay for them being lousy humans?"

"You're they're son," he said. "It's your job."

"No, it's my job to take care of my family, not the parents who abused me, neglected me, and damn near killed me a few times while being drunk.  Beyond that, I doubt this is more than an extortion event based on his gambling debts."  The lawyer winced at that.  "While I may play baccarat and poker now and then, I know how to walk away when I'm losing.  I sure as hell don't spend the rent money on it and lose it too."  He stood up and walked over to look at his parents.

"Beyond that, I'm not going to pay my father to buy more prostitutes, especially not the underage ones he likes.  Nor am I going to support the occasional drug habit they like to enjoy.  Nowhere in any law book I could find online or my friend could find in his former college library at Stanford has a law saying I have to put up with their shit once I escaped."  He leaned down.  "You wouldn't want the money anyway.  I'm gay," he said with an evil smirk.  "That means I'm one of those boys that you always said was never going to do anything, yet I do.  Do you really think the mobbed up guys you owe are going to want to take money from a gay guy?  They like to avoid us like the plague."

"How dare you," his mother sneered.  "You should settle down."

"I'm sterile.  The only kids I'll have are my dogs.  My boyfriends are all overage too."  She tried to hit him and he ducked.  "By the way, I started self defense classes too, Mother.  Try it again, watch me hit you back."  She sat down and started to cry.  "Whatever.  Not like you taught me to care."  He walked back over to look at the judge.  "I can give you seven reports from CPS.  I can give you reports from people who know me and them who know they haven't tried to contact me since the day I left the house.  And not many times before then.  I can submit school counselor's reports saying that they thought my parents were horrible human beings who should be turned in to CPS but apparently CPS wasn't working well that month."  He looked at his parents, then back at the judge again.  "Mostly I want to know why it's my job to support their bad habits.  I support my own.  They work, they can support theirs.  There's no law anywhere that anyone has found that says I have to support their bad habits.  Especially the ones I find disgusting."

"It might be easier if you did," the judge offered.

"That's extortion and then they'll keep coming back.  I'm surprised they found me to get a legal summons to me."

"The local PD called yours to find you, sir."

"Good.  That means they don't know where I live.  I like it better that way.  I'm surrounded by more practical people.  As I myself am part of the time.  When I can make myself give a damn about anything."

"This problem of yours?" the judge asked.

"Hormonally related.  If I say more it can compromise my own safety and the safety of others."

"That's not fair," the lawyer said.

"Oh, I can prove it but I can't mention the name of the support group or anything," Xander assured him.  "I have people who can vouch for it and that I was recently kidnaped because of it.  They save others who have that problem as well.  They can't give out names either because if others know they're more likely to be kidnaped and I'm not going to do that to anyone.  Especially not in open records like this one."

The judge looked at him.  "Is it something that would impact my decision?"

"It's something that impacts whether or not I remember to ask Steve, my financial manager, to pay things for me."

"Then probably not.  I don't need to know.  Are you done?"

"Yes, sir."  He sat down again.

The lawyer stood up.  "While not technically in form, Mr. Harris has a point.  No, there is no formal law but it is an accepted custom, one that the courts have upheld many times that the child should take care of their aging parents."  Xander raised his hand.  "Wait your turn," he sneered.

"I was going to ask you if you knew how old they were."

The judge coughed.  "Is that relevant?"

"He said aging parents.  It's not like they're retirement age.  They can and do both work or get checks."

"That is a point to consider then.  I'll allow that challenge."  He made note of it on his notepad.  "Continue please."

"We all know good children take care of their parents.  No matter if they don't like their lifestyle or the parent doesn't like the child's."

"I'm sure he got that money from one of the men who treat him like a whore," his father said.

"No.  I have a steady boyfriend."  Xander gave him a smug look.  "It's been a long time since I played that way."

"So you're a fruity little mistress?" he sneered.

"Considering we're living in my house?  No."

His father glared.  "How did you afford a house already?"

Xander smirked.  "Generous past lovers.  After five weeks I gave it up for a steadier thing.  Now and then someone sends me a present because they want me to play but they know there's no way I'm going to."

"You're a whore," his mother sneered.

"That would mean I was sleeping with them.  I'm not.  Haven't been.  Probably won't.  I have all I need and one waiting if I can get over a mental conflict and he can get out of his."  She stared.  "Honestly."  He looked at the lawyer.  "They're sorry they interrupted.  They never taught me manners either."

"I tried, you never learned anything!" his mother shouted.

"Willow's mother didn't have that problem," he shot back coldly.  "She could even manage to feed me now and then too."

His father started to get up but his lawyer held him down.  "Please quit provoking them?" the judge asked patiently.

"They started it.  I want nothing to do with their lifestyle.  This excuse for attempted extortion isn't worth my time to get out of bed and do my hair."

The judge looked at his hair then at him.  "There is a lot of it."

"I decided to grow it out a few years ago.  I like it."

"I'm sure someone else likes it too," his father said.

"Yeah, but they don't like the hair accessories I use.  They poke them."

"Them?" his mother said.

"Yeah.  I have two boyfriends.  They know about each other and both live with me and my dogs.  Plus a friend I'm helping get back on her feet.  And my friend's father.  He adopted me and taught me better."

"I'm sure he wants to use you too."

"No, he taught me better aiming skills with guns.  Doesn't like my SUV.  But he supports me being myself fully.  He's waiting outside too.  That way I didn't have to risk traveling alone."

"He could come in," the judge offered.  It might keep this young one calmer.  "Bailiff?"  He went to find him.

"His name's John," Xander said.  He nodded and went to get him.  John walked in after him and sat down beside him.  "Any word?"

"Gunn got injured last night.  He can't make it."

"Car crash or the usual?"

"The usual."  Xander nodded at that.

The judge looked.  "The lawyer?"  They nodded.  "We can phone conference."

"I can do that," John said, texting him.  He got back an okay.  They dialed it and put him on speaker after John gave him a short update.  "There you go."

"Has Mr. Harris given an opening statement?"

"He has," the judge agreed.  "His parents' attorney is trying to give his but the family seems ready to brawl."

"Xander, stay," Gunn ordered.

"I only responded."

"Stay anyway.  You go ahead, man.  I wanna hear what you have to say."

"You're an attorney?" he sneered at the phone.

"With Wolfram and Hart in LA."

The lawyer swallowed.  "I see.  You're which one?"

"Mr. Gunn.  Angel brought me with him."

"I've heard about you," he said weakly.  He cleared his throat.  "Contrary to Mr. Harris's assumption that this is extortion, it is simply his family seeking recompense for their care of him.  The years they took care of him, fed, clothed, and nurtured him.  All the times they soothed nightmares.  Even if they weren't the best parents...."  Xander pulled out something and put it on the table.  "What is that?"

"CPS reports to counter you in a minute."

"About?"

"Them not feeding me, not clothing me, and not nurturing me.  They never soothed a nightmare that they created.  It says something since Sunnydale's CPS unit is woefully not working, and usually doesn't, that they actually showed up on my parents."

"I haven't seen a CPS worker in ages," the judge agreed.  "Let him finish since that was his diversion.  That is the last one."

"Yes, Your Honor."  He cleared his throat again.  "For all my clients knew, their only son had been killed.  He could have been kidnaped and used for some horrible purpose.  He could have joined the military and been shot in battle.  They had no idea and their worry may have exacerbated some problems they already had.  That is not the issue.  The issue is that Mr. Harris owes his parents for the care they took of him."

"It's a parent's job to care," John muttered under his breath.

"Let's start with my first witness," the lawyer said.  "Since he clearly wants to talk.  Your name?"

"John Winchester.  Father of two wonderful boys and adoptive father to Xander."

The lawyer gave him an odd look.  "You adopted him at his age?"

"He needed it."  He looked at the judge, who pointed at the stand.  He walked up and let himself be sworn in.  Then he sat down.

"How did you meet Mr. Harris?"

"Something bad happened while he was in New York.  He was sent to me to protect him."

"For what reason?"

"The same reason he gets kidnaped now and then."

"Which would be?"

"A hormone condition.  They're overactive."

"Can you explain that?"

"No.  I'm not a scientist."

"What do you do?"

"I'm a former mechanic and now a hunter with my sons, Dean and Sam, both adopted as infants."

"Is that relevant?" he sneered.

"Could be.  Better to be safe than to see outraged people."

"You hunt what?"

"Whatever I have to."

"People?"

"Only former people.  Now and then we do temp in as ghost hunters."

"So you defraud people?"

"No."  The lawyer glared at him.  "We worked for your sister three years ago, sir."  He gaped.  "I looked back through our notes.  My son Dean handled her problem with the dining room if I wrote it down right."

He swallowed.  "I see.  And that's the reason they sent him to you?"

"Because they knew they could trust me and I'd protect the boy with my life.  Which I have.  Even if I wasn't the most attentive and my sons did more of it while I guarded him, it only made them closer."

"Is one of your sons one of his present boyfriends?"

"Yes."

"I see."  He considered him. "That doesn't bother you?"

"I like Xander.  He treats the family well.  He respects both his boys.  He spoils them too much but that's just how he is.  He was never taught how to show good affection and now uses spoiling to do that."

"Spoiling?"

"For my son Sam's birthday he bought him about two thousand dollars worth of new clothes and music.  More than he expected or needed but Xander pouted him into accepting it."

"Pouted?"

"He's like that now and then.  Usually he uses it as a bargaining tactic when he can't always get his way."

"Hmm."  He looked at Xander, who gave him a 'fascinated' look.  He glared at John.  "Are you sleeping with the boy?"

"No," he snorted.  "I'm a widow.  I'll never have anyone but my former wife."  The lawyer slumped.  "Another good reason why I was trusted with Xander's safety."

"I reserve the right to talk to him later," the lawyer said.  "After I hear Mr. Harris' questions."  He sat down.

"John, how long have you known me?"

"Nearly three years now.  Maybe a bit over.  I don't remember the date we met you."

"That's fine.  How often have you seen me drink?"

"I've seen you drink exactly six beers over the course of that time and you got drunk once after that traveling event when you were overloaded by what you saw."

"Do you know why I don't drink?"

"I asked you once through Dean and you told him your parents were drunks.  You didn't want to go down that road."

"Have you ever seen me gamble?"

"During the convention in Las Vegas you snuck off to play some poker and baccarat."

"Do you think if I was on a losing streak I'd keep going beyond reasonable losses?"

"I think you'd get up and walk off if it wasn't fun, kid.  It wouldn't keep your attention that long."

"Have you ever seen me hire a prostitute?"

"Not personally but I heard you did on that one trip the boys accompanied you on."

"Did they say she was underaged?"

"Hearsay, Your Honor."

"I'd call Dean or Sam but they're at home and busy," Xander told him.  "For that matter, I told John what happened as well."

"He can repeat what you told him but not what someone not introduced as a witness told him," the judge said.

"Figures.  They don't get away with that on Law and Order either."  He looked at John.  "When I mentioned that, did I say she was underaged?"

"No, you said she was someone who taught others how to have better...relations for lack of a delicate word.  A regular pro, and a married couple that was teaching you if I remember right.  All to teach you how to do it better and be more reasonable in bed.  Before you kill someone.  Again."

"How did you know I did that?"

"One of your friends from New York told me.  I figured it was an accident since it was never investigated."  Xander nodded at that.  "Otherwise I wouldn't let you near my son."

"Do you think if they were better people I'd hesitate to support them?"

"I don't see why you would.  You paid your ex-girlfriend's apartment rent.  You bought her a car to help protect yourself while we were in LA.  You spoiled her rotten.  So much so that she begged."

"So you believe the only reason I'm not going to give into them is because I think they're bad people who do things I object to?"

"I think, with the research I did into your background when you showed up, that you're not going to pay their gambling debts or for their liquor addiction.  You're not going to hand out money to give them a cushy life where they can drink themselves to death.  You have a lot of respect for your body and the family you made out of your friends when yours failed.  You'd do anything for them.  That shows my research was right."

Gunn coughed on the phone.  "John, do you think it's reasonable for them to demand this of their son?"

"Having a child is a right and an obligation.  Parents are supposed to take care of their kids.  No matter what.  Even if they do end up doing things they don't like.  You don't have kids because you want someone to take care of you when you're sick or older.  You have them because you want to have kids.  Or you had an accident while drunk and never noticed until it was too late and were too stubborn to adopt him out.  Yes, children should take care of their parents if they can and if their parents are worthy of it.  If they got taken care of by their parents.  In cases where the parents didn't, let them handle it because they created the problems.  They have to fix them."

The other lawyer stood up.  "Do you expect your sons to take care of you?"

"Most of the guys in my business don't get that old," he said bluntly.  "I'm one of the oldest ones I know and that's because I fell back to take care of Xander when he needed us to."  The lawyer gaped.  "If I get that old?  I'll expect them to visit but it's up to a man to pay his own way in this world.  Even when he's ancient.  I'll let 'em walk the dog or something for me maybe.  Maybe I'd let Dean clean my shotguns for me.  Pay for things?  No.  I don't let Xander do it now."

"You're living in his house?"

"He demanded and it's easier to help him when he has problems."

"With the hormones?"

"Yes."

"Can you name others that have this problem?"

"I could but I won't because I'm not going to endanger their lives.  If others find out, they can go after them to steal them instead of Xander.  As he said, he can prove it without naming other names.  Those are the group's rules."

"How do we know this isn't made up?"

"How do I know you're not a child molester?" John countered.  The man went pale and backed up a step.  "We can only go on what we know of someone and what they tell us about themselves.  Even my son that was going to attend law school knew that lesson."

"Going to?"

"He left school when his girlfriend was killed in a house fire.  Went traveling with his brother."

"Oh.  I see.  Is he planning on going back?"

"Someday."

"Do you expect Xander to take care of you when you're older?"

"I'll let him visit, clean the shotguns, walk the dog if I have one.  Otherwise, no.  I can take care of myself.  If I can't, that's why they make those people who come in to check on you."

"So you don't expect anyone in your family to take you in when you get ill?"

"I know they would if I wanted to.  I know Xander would steal me in handcuffs if I tried to get away or went to hide.  I can make my own plans for such occasions and expect my wishes to be carried out.  A man pays his own way when he can."

The lawyer gaped.  "Normal families would expect an adult child to take in a failing health parent."

"That depends on the situation the child was in and what the relationship was like, wouldn't it?" John countered.

The lawyer glared.  "Do you take presents from Xander?"

"Now and then he'll buy dinner.  A new shirt maybe.  I complain, he pouts or sulks, I accept it because otherwise my sons complain to me about making him pout or sulk."

"You don't expect him to spoil you?"

"No.  I protested when he wanted to pay for the oil change in my truck.  That's my job to see to, not his.  I did use the situation to teach him how to change the oil in my truck.  He pouted me into letting him buy the new oil for the truck but I paid him back by putting the money into his wallet when he was asleep so he couldn't fuss at me."

"Do you think most people think like you do?"

"I think I'm on the more independent side of the scale but generally speaking, at least half would believe in not being kept like toys.  It's also my job to drive off people who want to keep the boy like toys."

The lawyer grimaced.  "That condition?"

"Yes."

"How often does that happen?"

"We just got back from a kidnaping," he said dryly.  "That's why we're late.  I had to stop one woman who wanted to claim Xander like he was her luggage earlier because he handed her a piece of hers to get to his."  He would let the boy rent a car to drive them back to Colorado before flying commercial again.  Even the fussy babies had liked Xander when he let her play with his hair.

"Where were you?"

"Damned if I know," John admitted.  "They had taken a friend who's active military with us.  I guarded the boy while he got us home."

"What was the name of the airport?"

"Private terminal and field."

"No road signs?"

"We hiked to get away from the situation.  Less noticeable if you don't take the road but parallel it.  No, I didn't see any of the ugly billboards either."

"How long was your flight?"

John shrugged.  "I didn't time it.  It felt like I was asleep there for a bit."

"Why does it matter?" Xander asked.

"I'm wondering the same," the judge admitted.  "I have sworn statements from the Colorado Springs PD that the boy has been taken numerous times, their words, and it was another of those that delayed this hearing."

"I think he's lying.  There is no hormone condition."

"Boy, I'm a retired Marine.  I don't often lie and I do take my oaths seriously."

"Where did you land?"

"A classified airfield in Colorado that the friend in the military knew about.  He got us permission.  We spent the next day answering questions because he was snatched while he was on duty."

"As the faxed, notarized statement I got from Colonel O'Neill said," the judge agreed, handing it down.  "Get back on point, Counselor?"

John noticed Xander's attention drifting.  He coughed and Xander snapped back.

"Why has no one heard about this condition?"

"Because if news spreads then more people try to take them," John said bluntly.  "I doubt you'd want to be the cause of anyone being taken, forcibly raped, and kept as a concubine until they were mentally agreeable to their mate?"  The guy shuddered.  "That's why we don't tell anyone, especially not people like you who'd use it vindictively."  Xander was drifting again.  He stared at the boy.  "Focus."

"Xander, focus," Gunn agreed.  Then he moaned.  "Sorry, shifted my leg and it's sore from the stitches."

"That's excusable," the judge promised.  "Mr. Harris, are you all right?"

"If my hormones are too backed up I'm usually confused and flighty."  He shrugged.  "It happens.  I'm working on it."  John nodded.  "Can we move on though?  Still way off topic and why does he want to know about my hormones?  I mean, I could hormone him and the court; I'm being polite by not doing that."

"They can be used offensively?" the judge asked.

"As a last resort to get myself away from a kidnaper.  Bait and then injure to get away."

"Oh, I see."

"Prove it."  Xander held up a hand.  "What?  Asking a question?"

"Sniff."

He came over and nearly swooned.  "Ohh."  Xander gave him a smug look.  "That's...."

"What came out on my roadtrip in New York, yes."  He put his arm back down.  "Are you done with John?  And can he have ten minutes to clear his head?"

"Granted," the judge agreed.  "Can you clear yours?"

"Probably not."  John gave him a look.  "I can't.  Not that fast.  I can try but if I start to weed down the hormones and pheromones it'll be worse if I can't finish."

"Ah.  Then go outside for a few minutes, Mr. Harris."  He nodded, John following him. "Mr. Gunn, did you know about this?"

"I did.  I'd suggest a fan blowing toward the doors, Your Honor.  I know some types of incense cover it but I don't know if anyone's allergic or if you have any there and I'd have to look up the name."

"I'll see what we can find for the lunch break.  Are you able to stay with us?"

"If you need me to.  My boss isn't up yet and only Wesley's trying to fuss over my leg."  He said something with the phone muffled, getting a complaining noise back.  "Sorry, checking the stitches."

Xander walked back in and handed the judge something.  "This covers my pheromone output.  The Magic Box sells it.  That way he can't appeal based on that."  He walked back outside again.

The judge handed it to the bailiff.  "Near him, near me, near the other table and set up a gently circulating fan?"  He nodded, going to do that.  "Is this problem that bad?"

"Xander's one of the worst hit.  Some live totally normal lives if they can wear theirs out.  Xander can't."

"It seems like such a shame.  He seems like a nice boy."

"Only when he wants to be.  He turns into a hellbeast when his family and friends are threatened."  The other lawyer came back.  "Want me to beep Xander?"

"Please," the judge agreed.  Xander came in a minute later.  "Thank you for that paging."

"Not a problem."

"Do you have any other witnesses?" he asked the parents' lawyer.

"I can call them.  Or we can cater to him and let him call one."

"Go ahead and call them," Xander said with a wave of his hand.  He sat down with John beside him.  The judge nodded at that move.

His mother was walked up and sworn in.  "Mrs. Harris, you gave birth to Xander?"

"Yes."

"No," Xander said.  He held up something the bailiff took.  "My adoption certificate.  She found me."

The judge looked it over. "She did."

"I always considered it as I had given birth to him," she said firmly.  "I took him in, loved him, took care of him, all the things good mothers do.  He's my son and now he abandoned us.  We weren't sure if he was alive or dead until that Willow girl went after him for being such a screw up.  After he raped someone."

"No," Xander said, standing up.  "Sorry, but everyone in town knows I did not rape Buffy because I was still in another state at the time."  She gaped.  "The PD knows too.  John had to talk to them because I was out of it at the time, but that was widely known by everyone.  Including Buffy, who sent a written apology for doing that since she was drunk and decided I would have saved her if I had been there.  I can ask one of the officers to come in and give the court a report on that incident if they want me to," Xander offered.

"We all heard that," the judge agreed.

"I took care of you," she sneered.

Xander handed the bailiff the reports from CPS.  "CPS reports, Your Honor."

He looked them over.  Then at her.  "Ten different social workers?"

"A few died while we were doing what they said.  Even though it was the wrong way to do things.  That's why he's doing this to us now."

Her lawyer got back to her.  "You did comply with their orders?"

"Whenever we could.  They wanted us to go through some expensive stuff and we couldn't afford it.  We argued about it but they left the boy with us." Xander held something up.  "What's that?"

"The old mayor's order that no children were to be removed from town by any social worker."  The judge was handed it by the bailiff.

"I see he did order that.  How would he have enforced it?"

Xander looked at him then smiled.  "You came in after he died, didn't you?  He had a complete and total hold on the town and all the city and government workers here.  The FBI found him running numerous problematic things after his death, sir.  Including killing a few of those social workers for trying to do their jobs."

"Oh, I see."  He frowned.  "Can we prove this?"

"I can call in some of the officers who're now in jail if you'll give me the time."

"It's not relevant," the other lawyer said.

"Probably not totally relevant."  He looked at her.  "Did the social worker ever want to remove him and said they couldn't?"

"They said there weren't any foster families in town that could take him in.  One said he was too old."

"To get back to the point, you do love your son?" the lawyer asked.

"I do.  It hurt me a lot when he left without a word."

"Did you try to look for him?"

"I have no idea how to do that.  It's not like I do those sort of things for a living.  I clean at the motel.  My husband does physical labor."

He nodded.  "You expected him to come back from his road trip, right?  Come home, be normal, get married maybe?"

"I had high hopes for that Anya girl.  She was a bit loud and blunt but she seemed to like him."

Anya appeared and Xander pulled her down to whisper in her ear, getting a nod and she sat down behind him.  "Thank you for calling my ex."  The judge made a note and a humming noise. "Are you done?"

"Yes."

"Good."  Xander looked at his mother, not standing up.  "When was the last time I lived in the house?"

"When you got back from that first road trip.  After we doctored the car so you'd have to come back."

"So that's why I got stuck in Oxnard at the strip club doing dishes.  I wondered."  He stood up and moved closer.  "Where was I living when I came back?"

"The basement and you paid us five hundred a month."

He nodded.  "When was the last time you bought me clothes?"

"For graduation."

"Um, no.  No clothes magically appeared for graduation.  I bought my clothes for graduation."

"I paid for your robe."

"No, I paid for that out of my roadtrip fund, mother."

"You asked for some money."

"When was the last time I asked you for money?"

"You always asked."

He stared at her.  "Where was I standing when I asked?"

"In front of the tv."

He stared at her.  "Your Honor, we don't have a working tv in the house and haven't for years.  They have rabbit ears on a really old set.  They stole mine to get their last working one."  He looked at her.  "Where did you put the money?"

"She said you asked," his father shouted, standing up.

"When was the last time I asked for anything?" he countered.  His father glared.  He stared him down.  "You can answer.  I don't mind.  Go ahead.  Think back."

Anya raised a hand.  "You asked to change one of the breakers out before it sparked again and caught fire," she said.  "Because it was next to your bed."

"Thank you."  He looked at his mother.  "You handed me money?"

"I put it on the table."

He frowned.  "That's your magical cigarette stash, Mother."  She growled.  "The one you mysteriously find money in now and then."  He rolled his eyes.  "When did I move out?"

"Three months after you got back."

"Um, no," Anya said.  "Two."

"Did he perhaps pay for an extra month?" the judge asked.

"They tried to raise it to a grand," Xander told him.  "For the pleasure of living in the basement and listening to them argue."  He looked at her.  "Do you know what day today is?"

"I'm not working so it's got to be Friday."

He checked his watch.  "Mine says Saturday."

"Maybe I'm where you get that *condition* from," she sneered.

"That would require you to have given birth to me.  Tell me, when is my birthday?"

"We use the date we adopted you.  That's the eighteenth of August."

The judge looked at the certificate.  "This is dated in November."

"Maybe it's the date we found him then.  He's trying to confuse me on purpose!" she complained.

"Even adoptive mothers who do what 'all the other mothers do' as you said you did would know their kids' birthdays."  He walked back and sat down. "I'm done."

"You celebrated his birthday every year?" her lawyer asked.

"Yes.  Until the clown incident then my husband said he had to earn one since he had embarrassed everyone by being scared of a silly clown."

"Um, Your Honor?" Xander said.  The judge looked at him.  "That clown came out and scared my grandmother to death in front of me.  I was phobic for years."

"No birthday parties after that?"

"Only ones I threw myself with my friends.  They broke the last presents I got."

"When was the last time you got him a holiday present?" the judge asked her.  "Christmas or whatever you celebrate."

"We're good Christians."  She sniffed.  "Ten years ago?"

Xander thought back. "I'm twenty-three....  Nope, twelve.  How old was I?"

"Eleven."

"How old am I now?"

"Twenty."

"Twenty-three," Xander corrected with a sigh.  "Can I?"  The judge nodded.  "Are you done?"

"I am."

"Mother, did you ever try to contact me when I moved out?"  She gaped.  "Stop me in the stores, come to my work site, send me a letter, stop by the Magic Box since I was known to be there most of the time when I wasn't working, call, anything?"

"No.  You made yourself clear when you left and took everything with you."

"What would you have done if I had left anything?  And by the way I did.  I left the sleeper sofa."

"We tossed that thing out, it was ratty and smelled bad.  You always had such stomach problems."

Xander frowned.  Then he looked at Anya.  She shook her head, not having a clue.  "Stomach problems?"

"It smelled like sick," she said, grimacing.

"Mother, had my father been down there?"   She nodded.  "Then what makes you think it was mine?"

"He said so."

"Did he also say I forgot my radio and what happened to it?"

"No, I think that went to the pawn shop.  He was quite upset with you."

He just nodded at that. "Do you really I would've puked on a bed and then used it?"

"Well, no.  You were always taking showers daily like some neat freak.  Most of the time you weren't even nasty, sweaty, or dirty.  Sometimes even twice a day."

"No more questions," Xander said, sitting down.  "I feel sorry for her," he told John.

"This is the consequence of her choice," he said quietly, patting him on the hand.

"I'm done with her.  I call Mr. Harris to the stand."  He stomped up there.  Once he was sworn in he looked at him.  "How old is your son?"

"He said twenty-three."

"How old did you think he was before he said that?"

"I guess twenty-three."

He nodded.  "You did take care of the boy?  Change his diapers, feed him?"

"That's his mother's job," he snorted.  "Do I look like a woman to you?"

"That's an answer we hear from men of your generation," he decided.  "Did you give the boy an allowance?"

"It was important for him to learn to earn his own way in this world."

"Did you try to contact him after he moved out?"

"Why would I have?  He made himself clear."  He glared at John.

The lawyer noticed. "Did you try to teach Xander how to do things like change the oil in a car when you did yours?"

"No.  I'm not mechanical that way.  I let my brother Rory try to teach him.  He said the boy smarted off all weekend and wouldn't settle down."

Xander raised a hand.  The judge looked at him.  "Should I have someone find Uncle Rory to ask him about that weekend?  Because all he wanted was a driver since his license was suspended and he was going to go out drinking to hit on women."

"He said he'd teach you something practical," his father shot back.  "You were more mechanical.  If you had been mine I might've wondered if she had slept with my brother."

Xander got the phone book off the bailiff's desk, finding the number for his uncle's garage.  "In case we need to call him in," he said with a smirk.

"He won't come.  I asked.  He said he couldn't stand you, boy."

Xander looked at him.  "Really?  I got a letter from his last month by the postmark."  He sat down again.

"If it's relevant we'll call him after lunch," the judge said.  "Continue."

"You did buy food for the boy?"

"He ate too much but I did.  We all ate well enough."

The lawyer nodded.  "So it wasn't idyllic?"

"What?"

"It wasn't a perfect childhood like on tv?"

"No.  Those sissy boys needed some good backbone applied.  Always whiny and wanting something.  I made sure my own quit that when he started.  Too bad he couldn't be more of a man."

"And yet, you want him to take care of you?"

"He's family.  It's his job.  He disappeared, worried his mother sick."

"Did you try to look for him?"

"I had no idea how to do that.  Not like you can look people up in the paper."

"Thank you."  He sat down.

Xander stared at him.  "I know you've seen the ads for that peoplefinder group?" he said.

He nodded.  "Waste of money.  Spend thirty dollars on something like that?"  He snorted.

"Yet, thirty dollars would've told you where I am.  Not like I had a hidden address or phone number at the time."  He stood up.  "What did you think happened to me when I went on that trip?"

"As far as I knew, you'd disappeared after you left the house.  That's what worried your mother."

"Yet you didn't check any of my known places to be?" he asked.  "Work, the Magic Box?  Willow's house?"

"I told her if she wanted you back to do that.  She didn't listen."

"Yet, now you want me back.  Why?"  He moved closer.  "You didn't like me.  You made that very clear for years on end.  Now you want me back?"

"I raised you better than this.  A family takes care of itself."

"Do you think we're going to get together to do those family reunions with the picnic?"

"No.  Not like your mother cooks all that often."

"Family dinners?"

"I don't want that hair of yours in my house; it might infect things to turn gay too," he sneered.

"Then why do you want me back?"

He stared.  "She wants you back."

"And what do you want?"  He moved closer.  "Let me guess.  You want... money?  To pay the gambling debts I heard you had?  Bail money for when they catch you with the next underaged prostitute maybe?"

"Could use it but I've got that covered."  He shifted under that stare.  "You're not my son."

"Yeah, I am."  He pulled his hair back.  "Look more familiar now?  I like the hair.  Gives me something to fuss over."

"No real man has hair like that."

"And yet, I was working construction before that second road trip.  Now I do a lot of weapons work cleaning and making sure they work properly.  I've even rehabbed some guns so they work better.  I also deal with a few other antique weapons.  A real man would be able to do that, right?"

He swallowed.  "Guns?"

"And then some."  He smirked.  "So what did you want me for, Father?"

"Others wanted you in town," he admitted.

"Hmm."  He looked at John.  "Even if I gave you money you know it'd come with strings, right?"  His father smirked.  "Including alcohol and drug rehabilitation?"  His father's smirk fell.  "That I'd choose.  One with a good success rate.  Not one of the celebrity ones where people go back every few months or years.  A real rehab center.  Would you still accept it?"

"Hell no.  I like my life as it is."

"Then why should I pay you for bad habits that I don't like.  If I came to you for money would you give it to me?"

"No."

"Then why should I pay you?"

"We're your parents."

"Exactly and it's supposed to go both ways."  He walked off.

"Don't you dare!" he sneered, standing up.  "We took care of you just fine."

Xander looked at him.  "How much do you think you spent on my clothes?"

"Ten grand a year."

"From the thrift store?  Then they've been making incredible profits, huh?"  The judge coughed.  "How much are you making a year?"

"Thirty-eight."

"So, thirty-eight thousand a year.  You pay three hundred for the house payment the last I knew.  That's thirty-six hundred a year.  About the same for the car payment?"

"Four-fifty."

"That's fifty-four hundred a year.  That's nine thousand total.  How much in utilities?"

"Why?"

"Just answer," the judge said.  The lawyer made complaining noises.  "He's clarifying the amount.  Answer it please."

"Two hundred a month.  Total."

"That's another twelve hundred.  So we're at ten-two.  How much do you spend on alcohol?"

"I don't know."

"Estimate.  It's how much a bottle?"

"Sixteen for mine, nine for hers, plus beer."

"Hmm.  I know you drink cheap beer so that's eight bucks a six pack.  You two go through a case a day.  Those, last time I knew, were..."

"Nineteen," his father sneered.

"And you go through a case and a bottle a day.  That's forty-four dollars a day so just over sixteen thousand a year.  With the ten-two earlier that's twenty-six thousand, two hundred.  How much do you pay for your insurance?"

"Fifty a week through my job."

"That's twenty-six hundred a year.  That brings it up to twenty-eight two hundred.  Any other regular expenses like food?  Oh, yeah, food.  How much do you spend on food?  Now or then.  Whichever you remember."

"Six hundred a month."

"That's seventy-two hundred.  So that brings the total to thirty-five, four hundred if my math isn't wrong.  And I'm using a calculator," he said, showing his phone.  "Did you give up anything to spend that ten grand a year on clothes for me?"  His father snorted.  "Since you said you make thirty-eight thou a year and that adds up to just over thirty-five thousand?  And is that before taxes?"  His father nodded.  "Then that means that the rest of that three thousand was probably eaten by taxes."

"Why so much for food?" Gunn asked.  "To blatantly interrupt."

"His mother can't cook that well.  We order out a lot."

"Wasn't that one of the CPS orders?" Xander said.  "To cook at home once the kitchen was clean instead of ordering out?"

The judge looked when Xander looked at him.  "It was.  It appears in three of them."  He looked at him.  "You didn't comply?"

"She can't cook!"

"How hard is it to learn?" Xander asked.  "I did.  I'm actually a very good cook.  I learned most of it from cookbooks.  Mother, you can read?"

"Of course I can," she sneered.

"Then why can't you follow recipes?"

"They take too much time and energy."

"In other words you forgot and walked off, letting things burn?" he asked.  She snorted and looked away.  He looked at his father.  "Where did that mystical ten thousand you spent a year on my clothes come from?"

"Clothing vouchers."

"Ah, those.  The last time I knew, those were about two hundred a child and only happened at the start of school."

"They did.  You made do."

"Who bought my clothes when they wore out?"

"I didn't pay any attention.  Your mother probably."

"Hmm.  When was the last time you actually saw her buy me clothes?"

"Your last voucher."

"Which was?"

"Your senior year."

"I didn't get a voucher that year.  She missed the deadline by being drunk off her ass.  Just so you know, I haven't gotten one since eighth grade."  His father growled.  He sat down.  "Gunn, did you have anything further to ask?"

"No.  I think it's pretty clear what he's trying to do."

His father stomped back to his seat.  Xander looked at the lawyer.  "Any more you want to call?"

"You.  Mr. Harris to the stand please."

"Of course."  Xander walked over there and let himself be sworn in before sitting down.

"Mr. Harris, who pays for your current residence?"

"I do."

"How?"

"Money I've made in the past and selling the presents from the misguided people who think they want me but don't know me.  I do try to get them to take them back and when they won't I sell them."

"I see.  You don't sleep with them?"

"No."

"Why do they gift you?"

"Because they want me to be theirs.  This is their idea of wooing.  Only I don't like flowers that much.  A lot of them give me chocolate or clothes there for a while.  That's how I got most of my leather pants."  He shifted to cross his legs at the knee.

"So they're wooing you and you don't make them take them back?"

"I do when I can find out who sent it.  I do try to send them all back.  I argue when I catch them bringing things.  I've gotten some to give up."

"How many are we talking about?"

Xander looked at John.  "I've weeded it down to how many?"

"Seven I think."

"Seven he thinks.  He helps me discourage them."  One appeared beside him with a tray.  "Not right now unless you want to explain it to him," he said quietly.  He saw the odd looks and removed the thing blanking him to normal sight.  The judge gasped.  "Tell him why you want me?"

"You're wonderful.  Your hormones would make me the most wealthy and wanted man in terms of status and power.  You need taken care of because you're a fragile one.  I would not play too hard with you."

"The fact that I'm taken?"

"You can bring your family.  It will only give me more honor and status."  He held up the snack plate.  "Food, great one?"

Xander smiled.

"No," John said.  "Not right now."  The demon pouted at him.  "Aren't you a bit young to want Xander?"

"I'm more socially capable than my father."  He sniffed and looked at Xander with a smile.  "Please consider me?"

"I'm with someone."

"I can have them too.  It would be good for my family."  A larger version of the same demon appeared with a sigh.  "Mother!"

"He's much too young for you," she told Xander.

"I know.  That's why I'm talking him out of it."  He looked at him.  "Come back once you've established yourself.  I might be single then but I am not right now and John would be horribly upset if I took up with you since you have to pass your majority."  He fingered the demon's braid.  "Your kind have a padawan braid."  The demon blushed.  Xander kissed him on top of the head.  "Thank you for your offer.  See me when you're older and I'm single."  The demon nodded, leaving the food there.  "I don't need it."

"You need to eat.  You didn't eat breakfast," he chided.  "That's not good for your frail systems."  He and his mother disappeared.

Xander handed it to the judge.  "Cracker with cheese, Your Honor?"

He groaned.  "You get that a lot?"

"He was sweet but too young.  I get some older ones who see people like me as future concubines and therefore status symbols."  He nibbled on a piece of cheese. "Hmm."   He got up and put it on the table, taking one back with him to nibble on.  John could nibble too.  Anya too.  He sat down again.  "Sorry about the interruption."

"That's how you afford your house?"

"No."

"No?" he sneered.

"No.  I bought my house because on my road trip I decided to find myself sexually and answer the pesky am I bi/gay/straight question in New York.  Only took me five weeks to fully find all the limits on what I will and won't do, and what I like to do.  I made good money doing that and now I'm living on the interest of that because I have someone I trust to invest for me.  Now and then I do get some outrageous presents so I do sell those.  Last month someone gave me a black diamond choke collar for the dogs.  None of the family but me liked them."

He swallowed.  "Why?"

"To get my attention.  If I can do that to you with only a sniff, consider what I can do if I like the person I'm with.  People like me often become concubines.  Willing and not.  People with power want me.  Therefore they gift me to get my attention.  Because if I'm unwilling I can cause a lot of hell and ruin them or kill them to get myself free."  He crossed his feet again.  "It's easier if they woo me to their side.  Most of them stop after a few 'not interested's."

"Prove it," he sneered.  He pointed at the plate of food.  "That isn't a great present."

"He was a teenager and it was a thoughtful gift.  I'd much prefer them.  As for other presents?"  He pulled out a hairpin.  "I got that last year from one.  It makes a good defensive weapon."

He looked at it.  "How?"  Xander took it and aimed for his heart, making him yelp and back up.  "Never mind."  He stuck it back into his hair.  "They let you in with those?"

"There's no rules about hair ornaments being sharp and pointy.  Even without them I could probably defeat a lot of people.  That's why I'm taking self-defense."

"How much do you spend a year since you ripped through your father's finances?"

"I keep within the bounds of my yearly interest after I set up the house.  The only thing outside that is I'm buying a few lots around the house to give myself some room and more protection.  For actual figures, I think I stay within fifty a year, John?"

"Usually.  Now and then you go over but that's usually coming out of a present you sold.  Steve said you did that this year instead of spending your interest."

Xander pointed.  "He handles that more than I do.  That's why I have Steve.  John even makes me quit grocery shopping for stuff to learn how to cook."

"You're learning from who?"

"The food network and cookbooks."

"No teacher?"

"No."

"Do you have any outside teachers?"

"My self defense instructors.  I take four classes a week this month and then next month I'll be taking two after I'm out of one of the teacher's range."

"Any other usual fees?"

"Spa time.  Hairdresser.  Steve's pay.   Property taxes, which seem to be really high.  The occasional shopping bout.  Shooting range fees so we stay in practice."  John gave him an odd look.  "I found one.  We have yearly memberships."

"Thanks, kid."

Xander grinned.  "Bullets for that since we'll run out."

The man swallowed.  "You're a decent shot?"

"I'm an excellent shot.  I had to learn to be.  I prefer to wound unless I'm in immediate danger.  I also like knives more than guns."

The man nodded quickly at that.  "That's fine."  He looked at the judge.  "Perhaps he needs a psychological evaluation?"

"I find self-defense to be reasonable in his situation and I'm sure they're looking for any funny mental issues."  Xander and John both nodded.  "Do you routinely carry a weapon?"

"I routinely carry a knife for protection.  If I'm not at home, where the officers know to watch out for me, then I tend to carry more weapons one way or another."

"Good to know."

"It is for my own safety."

"I can see why, Mr. Harris.  Get on with it?" he asked the lawyer.

"Mr. Harris, who bought your clothes?"

"After the voucher?  I did."

"With?"

"I had odd jobs now and then.  Or I bummed off Willow's mom when she got disgusted with the state of my clothes."

"Who washed them?"

"I did.  My mother got frustrated with the washer when I was ten.  I did my own since the day she poured vodka into it thinking it would take out some stains from the bleach she had over poured.  The fire wasn't that pretty."

He grimaced.  "Who cooked?"

"If I made myself a sandwich I snuck back to my room.  Otherwise, we had a lot of takeout.  That's why I'm so proud I'm becoming a very good cook."

"What do you usually cook?"

"This last week I've been doing beef dishes.  I tend to cook ahead then seal with a vacu- sucker machine to put things in the freezer.  Pan and all if I can."

"Why?"

"That way all I have to do is thaw it while the oven warms up."

"Oh."  He looked at John then back at him.  "How much do you cook?"

"We have enough food stored right now so I don't have to cook for about a week if I don't want to.  I usually try for a bit more than that so I have some variety.  When I get home I'll do a huge batch of chicken and freeze some of it.  Maybe some turkey or some veal."

"You eat veal?"

"I do."

"You do know what veal is?"

"Yes.  I've even petted cows."

He grimaced.  "Do you expect others to eat that well?"

"I expect my family to eat well because I make sure of it.  I also donate to a local homeless shelter with Sam's help.  We made soups on Thursday to bring down there since it's a bit chilly at the moment.  Six huge pots of soup.  Plus Dean made me clean out my closet so I brought in about three bags of clothes too.  We stopped to pick up some t-shirts, boxers, briefs, socks, and gloves on the way."

"Is that your only charitable contribution this year?"

"No.  I often send lunch to the officers after I've had a bad day in town.  One where they had to react to someone trying something.  I donate to a few of the local churches who do good work with the poor.  I remember how much it sucked ass."

"Language," the judge noted.

"Sorry."  He looked at him again.  "Other than that, I don't get asked for charitable contributions except for the Easter Seals people who mail me the labels.  I did get my dog from the pound and I do support them when I find they need money and are doing a drive."

He blinked.  "You're doing a lot with your money."

"I came from poorer roots.  It's not fair that I don't help those who took my place in that crowded mass of people.  Not everyone can get hormones and be kidnaped," he said dryly.

"Hm."  He looked at him.  "If your parents needed medical treatment, would you help them?"

"If they asked and I knew it wasn't going to go to alcohol, drugs, or their gambling debts, I might.  I'm more than willing to send them to Haven Ranch, which is a very tough but good alcohol treatment facility.  That would cure most of the problems and save the biggest chunk of their yearly income.  Plus make them happier people to be around."

"What about their jobs?"

"Their bosses would probably allow it as long as they came back.  It's not like alcohol treatment isn't a recognized medical need.  Their bosses know they're drunks."

"Where is this facility?"

"In Arizona.  Pretty country.  They even take hikes there."

"Is it expensive?"

"Modestly so but they have a high success rate based on the five year staying sober rates.  Unlike some in this state they don't baby the people and they know that most drunks drink because of failings they see in their own lives.  They have counselors there to help them as well as help to get everything else straightened out."

"Would you pay for their house payments?"

"He only has a year left on it.  The car only has six more payments on it.  They're behind at the moment thanks to his gambling problem.  Which links back to his drinking since no sober person would ever bet his wife."

She gasped and turned to her husband.   "You promised not to do that again."

"I didn't mean to.  It slipped out.  I won you back."

Xander pointed.  "Exactly.  I'm glad no one took him up on his offer to own me when he tried to gamble me away."

"Wish they would have," his father sneered.

Xander looked up then at him.  "Be thankful wishes like that don't get granted.  Because I would've turned them on you so fast and you'd be dead for doing it."  His father went pale and sat down.   He looked at the lawyer.  "Anything else?  Or can I get another cracker?"

"Go ahead."  He watched the boy do that.  Then go back to the seat.  "Your turn," he told the phone.

"Xander, that rehab facility, is it a bootcamp one?"

"Yes, for the first two weeks then you step back to getting privileges.  That's why they have such a good success rate.  There's one in state but I didn't like their stats."

"Why not somewhere nicer?"

"I don't think they'd get through to them.  They'd go because I made them go, not going to get clean.  After that, I wouldn't be giving them any money anyway.  I'm not their cash cow."

"So you think this is them trying to have you handle all their problems until they come back again?"

"I do."

"How often do you think that is?"

"I think my father owes about eighty thousand by the rumors I heard."  His mother moaned.  "I also think that if they don't pay up there's a knee breaker coming soon.  With the figures they wanted, that would take care of it, give them a bit of room to play on, and if they didn't drink themselves to death they'd come back later on for more when he ran up his next debt.  That way the thugs got paid."

"That is how they work as far as I know," Gunn admitted.  "You own a business?"

"I won one in a baccarat game," he admitted.  His father gaped.  He smirked.  "Yes, I'm where your card luck went.  I only play baccarat and poker though."

"You could play for me, get me out of debt."

Xander looked at him.  "It's your debt.  I'd have to pay my debt if I was in the hole that much."

"Would you go to them for money or expect them to help you out with it?"

Xander snorted.  "I'd expect to get yelled at and beaten if I tried that.  He always said a man has to make his own way.  That's why I didn't get an allowance."

"Do you think it's fair of them to do this?"

"No, I think this is something that happens when people get money.  If I had more relatives they'd probably be trying too.  I do respect Uncle Rory for not trying this.  I think that's decent of him."

"Good.  I'm done," Gunn told the judge.

"Any rebuttal?"

"No, Your Honor."

"Then, Mr. Harris, call your first witness please?"

He stood up and walked down.  "I call Anya Emerson."  She skipped up there and let herself be sworn in.  "Anya, when did we meet?"

"While you were in high school.  I met you through an accident with your then girlfriend Cordelia Chase."

"How far did we get in our relationship?  Were we living together?"

"No.  We were thinking about it but you went on your road trip then Buffy and Willow told you not to come back because they were being insane and hurtful."

"You did stay over repeatedly?"

"I did."

"Do you think that vomit smell on the couch I left in their basement was from me?"

"No.  You know how to run to the bathroom when you make yourself sick."  She looked at them.  "It might've been one of them.  No idea why though unless they decided to try to climb in with you and were too drunk to realize you weren't there anymore."

"How many times did you stay over when I was in the basement?"

"Many.  Nearly three weeks out of that two months."  She bit her lip.  "Usually I left to go to work as soon as I could because they'd argue upstairs and you had to lock the door in case it spread.  It wasn't conductive to me getting orgasms."

"Did we have any fights about them?"

"A few.  I pointed out you could spend less in your own place, and therefore more on me.  You said you were waiting for a decent one to open up near work once you finally quit bouncing from job to job and settled on construction work."

"Did you ever see my parents show that they gave a damn about me?"

"Language, your last warning, Mr. Harris."

"Sorry.  Common phrasing but I'll find another one."

"Fine.  Answer please?"

"No.  They never did more than hit you up for the rent early that I saw.  You never ate with them, went upstairs to do more than answer a yell of your name to come fix something.  You used the basement door to the outside instead of going through the house.  You know, you could ask Spike since he was stuck in there all day long."

"I would but I have no idea where he is."

"He's in one of the crypts by the college."

"Thank you."  He looked at his parents then at her.  "After I moved out, before I left, did you see them try to contact me?"

"No.  I saw your mother snub you in the grocery store one day.  You were frowning at her extra large beer purchase so she huffed off."

"No phone calls, letters?"

"No."

"Thank you."  He sat down.

"Anya," Gunn said.  "Did you think that his parents cared about him?  I know your unique situation would give you a different outlook on how people view relationships but did you see any sort of caring relationship at all?  In any manner?"

"No.  All they seemed to want him for was rent money or to fix things.  Even with what I've seen I couldn't say that was a parenting style that would be good or caring."

"Thank you.  Your turn," he said.

"Miss Emmerson.  Would you take Xander back if he asked?"

She laughed.  "No.  Xander and I are not going to work.  I know what's up with him; there's no way I'd want him to have that sort of attention if I were with him.  I'd have to get jealous and punish him."

"Punish him?"

"I punish unfaithful men for a living," she said bluntly.  "In many mean, nasty ways.  Last month I eviscerated one because his wife wanted him to be because he brought home an STD.  So I gutted him, wrapped them around the prick I cut off for her, and put them up his nose.  Like she asked."

He wobbled, grabbing the table.  "You assassinated him?"

"It's my calling and my pleasure to punish men like that," she said with a grin.  "Thanks to Xander dumping me for his hormones and Willow and Buffy doing their thing, I got my old job back."

He swallowed.  "How do they find you?"

"They call to me.  Or I feel them and ask them in the bars.  Places like that.  Oooh, last month I cursed one to only eat fish since his wife wanted him to give oral sex and he selfishly refused.  Once he does, he won't mind doing it for her because he's so used to that sort of taste.  Then the chains will fall off and she can make him beg to do it for her."

"I see."  He sat down.  "No questions for her."

"I have one.  Anya, do you think we would've dated if I had normal parents?" Xander asked.

She considered it.  "No, I think you would've been more horrified than Buffy was when we started to date if you had normal parents."

"Thank you."  She walked back and kissed him.  "Congrats on getting the job back."  She beamed.  "Be good."

"I'll pop around now and then to check on you.  Make sure you haven't upset anyone."  She winked and left.

Xander smiled at the judge.  "I could ask Gunn to put my ex there on the phone.  She knew me since kindergarten."

"No, I don't think it's necessary.  Is she an assassin too?"

"No.  Sharp of wit and tongue but no."

"Good."

"We broke up and Anya did her a favor then she decided to change her mind before anyone got really hurt.  Then I went out with Anya."

"You don't say no to a woman like that," John said dryly.  He pushed the plate over, making the boy nibble and quit babbling.  "Should we work on a closing statement?"

"I don't think it'll sway me any," the judge admitted.  He looked at the lawyer.  "Do you have one?"

"No, Your Honor.  Not if it won't do any good."

"Probably not."  He sighed.  "While I have to go on the law, Mr. Harris was right.  There is no law stating a child must give their parents money.  In fact, in this case I think it would be counterproductive to their best interests if he did.   He did offer to pay for a treatment facility if they were willing to go.  Are they?"

"I like my life the way it is," his father said.

"That's your choice.  It's clear that you didn't show that much care for your son when he was younger, Mr. and Mrs. Harris.   If only because he considered a girl like that one a normal girlfriend.  That's a clear sign of emotional abuse that he'd put up with someone like that."  He looked at Xander.  "I know you feel like you escaped."  Xander nodded, nibbling on another cracker to keep himself from saying anything.  "Would the offer of treatment be good later?"

"I have a small savings account set up for them for this purpose with the facility itself."  He pulled that note out of his bag.  "That way they could arrange to go there.  They did agree to let them go to another one if it was a good facility.  If they didn't before they died, they can absorb it as a donation."  He handed it to the bailiff.

The judge looked it over.  "That's a good service."

"I'm not the first son who's had this problem.  Their social worker was understanding."

He put it back in the bailiff's hand.  "For them."  He handed it to their lawyer.  "I do hope that they would seek treatment soon.  It might help them in other matters.  That sixteen thousand and sixty dollars they projected for their yearly drinking expenses could go to pay off their other debts if they did.  I don't see any reason for Mr. Harris to support them since they wouldn't do the same if the tables were reversed.  Or even if their son was in a bad medical condition in the hospital.  I'm sure your debtors would let you work out payment plans."  He banged his gavel.  "I would suggest that treatment is a good way to get away from them.  They can't hurt you when you're inside."  He stood up and they rose, John had to pull Xander up.  "Mr. Harris, I do hope you find some sort of cure for that hormone problem of yours.  It sounds like a paranoid, harsh life if you're taken."

"That's why I have my real family," he said with a nod to John.

"Good.  Dismissed."  He left, going back to call his own mother.  He loved his mother and he hated to see things like this in family court.

Xander finished his cracker, letting John have the last one he wanted.  He smiled at the bailiff.  "Go ahead and nibble if you want."  He gathered up his bag and found his parents glaring at him.  "You wouldn't do it for me if I ended up like that.  Why would I do it for you."  He walked out, John guarding him.

"He's using you," his mother called.  "He probably wants you too."

"My late wife wouldn't like that," John shot back without looking.

"You've ruined both our families by taking him in," his father shot off.

John looked at him.  "I saved the boy and my family by taking him in.  He makes a good adopted son.  You should have tried it when you had the chance."  He left, going out with Xander.  "What else are we doing?  You said you had another stop to make?"

"I want to see Tara."

"Who?"

"Willow's ex."  He smiled.  "She's a good girl, John, and she could use the same sort of help I give Faith.  Plus there's a chance that with Willow straightening out she could get back with her."  He walked outside after getting his knife.  He found someone petting his car.  "Off, Jonno."

The geek stared at him.  "Yours?"

"Rental.  I'm in Colorado now."  He slid on his sunglasses.  "The world is a great, wide place."

"Are you coming back?"

"No.  Not unless it's an apocalypse."

"Where's Summers?"

"Up the road from me in the military as it happens.  They saved her from liver failure."  He swallowed.  "Why?"

"We're growing a sitch."  Xander wrote a number on his hand.  "Who's this?"

"Remember tall, dark, pale, and broody that used to follow her around?"

"Yeah.  I saw him at the Bronze a few times."

"He does the same thing.  He's in LA working with Cordy now.  He can get word back to her or us if you need us."  He smiled and head-nodded at John.  "Still in the biz but a bit differently now."

"Thank you."

"Welcome.  Be safe and no taking over the world.  I might have to protest and fight back.  It'd ruin my hair."  Jon gaped so he smirked before siding into the car.  John got in to drive.  "I asked at the Magic Box.  She's up at the college."

"We can head up there.  It's probably safer."  He waved at the geeky boy.  "Friend?"

"Same circles but I hung with Willow more and he has his own geek trio going."  He waved, rolling down the window.  "Call if you need us, Jonno.  Willow's there too."

"Thanks."  He walked off, going to tell his buddies.  That hadn't been the Xander they knew!  Especially with that hair!

John drove them to the college.  "Why did you get this one?  It's a fussy car."

"With a map system standard, a decent radio, and comfy seats I can stretch out in," Xander countered.  "Besides, the new Impalas are trash according to Dean or I'd have gotten one of those."  John smiled, letting the boy flip on the radio to a classic rock station.  "Ah, the sounds of chaos."  He waved as they passed by a truck.  "My former boss on the construction site."

"Want to say hi to anyone else?"

"No.  I'm good with Tara."  That got a nod.  They pulled onto the campus soon enough and he got out, heading over to the right building.  They had told her where to find her about lunch, which was about when it was.  He saw her.  "Tara?"  She flinched and looked around.  "Sweetie, don't do that."

"Do...do I k..know you?"

"It's Xander, Tara."  She blushed.  He took off his sunglasses.  "The hair seems to throw people."  She nodded.  "Got a few?"

"Sure," she said weakly.  "Who's he?" she whispered.

"That's John.  He's like a new dad to me.  I'm dating his sons."

She gave him an odd look.  "Y..you are?"

"Yeah."  He smirked.  "C'mon."  He walked her over to a more private bench and sat down with her.  "Do you want Willow back?"

She blushed, ducking her head so her hair covered most of her face.  "I don't know," she said weakly.

"She's being straightened out.  She's got major science geeks on her butt to chew it when she goes stupid."  She looked at him.  "She's in my town.  On the same base Buffy's drying out on.  They're part of a very special project."  Another woman stomped over.  "New girlfriend?"

"Protector," she said.  "This is Xander."

He held out a hand.  "Ma'am."

"The one who hurt Buffy?"

"I was in another state.  She was drunk and decided I would've saved her so this is how she punished me.  I wouldn't have been at that sort of party anyway and the charges were dropped when they found out I was in the Midwest."

"Oh."  She looked at Tara.  "Want lunch?"

"In a minute."

"I'm not going to hurt Tara.  I like and respect Tara.  I'm offering her a chance to go to a safer school if she wanted."  Tara looked at him.  "There's three good ones and Denver's only an hour or so away.  There's some good schools there too.  It'd be safer, closer to support if you needed it.  Including for the other stuff that goes on," he finished more quietly. "Full ride, Tara."

"I... I can't aff..afford that."

"I can."

She blinked.  "Why?"  He smiled and played with his hair.  She swallowed.  "I've heard of people like you."

"I'm helping Faith find herself.  I think it'd be a shame if something like what we dealt with hurts you because you're the last one here."

"Spike watches out for me."

"That's great.  I like Spike for that much alone even though we only had an uneasy truce."  She nodded at that.  "But it would be safer and if he wanted to move he could too as long as he didn't come over.  Sammy might stake him on general principles."

"Or Dean might," John agreed.

"There's not a lot like you and Willow there but there's a great gay community in Colorado Springs.  Very supportive.  Denver too."

She swallowed.  "I've got to finish here."

He leaned closer.  "I can have you moved to a nice place, Tara.  Near campus, just pick a school and apply."

"I'll think about it.  You're sweet."

"I don't want to see anything bad happen to you.  You're too precious to the world to lose.  Women like you are rare creatures who should be protected."

She nodded.  "Thank you."  She stood up.  "Are you staying?"

"No."  He wrote his number on her notebook's back.  "I'm there.  If you need me, you call me.  Immediately."

She nodded quickly.  "I will."

"And watch out for my parents?  They're going to get vindictive because the judge turned them down."  He stood up.  "They tried to sue me for maintenance payments so I'd cover their gambling debts."

She grimaced.  "Bad of them."

He nodded.  "It was.  He agreed."  He smiled.  "I can have you moved tonight."  She patted him on the wrist.  "My boys won't mind.  Faith won't.  Honest.  We have a spare room over the garage until you can pick a school.  Please?  Even Jonathan's saying something's going on in town."

She sighed.  "I know.  Spike told me.  We might need Buffy."  He wrote down another number and a name with it.  She smiled and nodded.  "I'll call."

"Today?" he suggested.  "The kitty could come.  I'll keep Bogart and Buttons off her."

"Give the girl time to think," John ordered.

Xander looked at him.  "Bad things happen here, John.  Where she knew Buffy and Willow they can come for her."  He pointed.  "Like the Order of Taraka."  He looked at her.  "Assassin?"

"Looking for Buffy," she said quietly.

Xander looked.  "Buffy's on a military base," he called.  The assassin stomped off.  He looked at her.  "Want lunch?  We can wait that long."  She nodded, letting them walk her and her friend to the car.  Xander looked at her.  "I want her safer."

"I can agree to that.  There's been a few geeks who've hit on her."

"Figures."  He slid into the front.  "Where do you want to eat, Tara?"

"Steve texted a minute ago.  The bank's down so the card's not working right," John offered.

Xander looked in his wallet.  "I've got six hundred on me.  We can get a decent lunch and a room tonight outside of town if we need to."  He nodded, driving them off to a nice place.  "The Garden Room?"  She beamed and nodded.  "West then three blocks, John.  It's a vegetarian place."

"I can handle vegetables.  I'm not Dean," he said dryly.  Xander snickered.  "My older son hates vegetables unless it's onions on his burgers."

"I make him brush his teeth before he kisses me.  He likes them raw," he told her.  She grinned.  They parked and went inside.  "Four."

"This way, sir."  The greeter led them to a private corner.  They looked like they were talking about things.  He left menus then left them alone.

Xander looked.  "What is that potato thing?"

"Fried," the friend said.  "It's crispy but you can't cut it.  I only get that when I eat at home."

Xander nodded.  "I can use company and good manners."

"Yes you will," John told him.  Tara giggled.  "I had to teach him but he did learn."

"He did," Xander agreed.  "Because I got deaged for a bit and sent to him to guard me."  She gaped.  He smirked.  "That's why I was in  the Midwest."  She groaned.  "Not Willow.  One of my coworkers at the time.  He was jealous."

She snorted.  "I don't know why."

"I was making more money."  She squeaked.  "I'm over it and I figured out what I needed and wanted to.  That's why I have my boys.  That and hormones."

"Don't remind me," John said dryly.  "It was nice you acted to minimize it for the judge."

"I was trying to not give him a reason to complain, John."  He looked at her.  "My parents are not good."  She nodded she knew.  "Willow told you?"  She nodded again.  "It happens."  He gave her wrist a squeeze.  "Get whatever you want.  The last time I saw you, you nibbled."  He looked at her.  "No girl can live on nibbling."

"One of the sisters?" the other lesbian teased.

"Now and then," he said with a smirk for her.  "But Dean hates it when I go femme or squeal."

"That's because you break eardrums, son," John said.

"That too."  They giggled.  The waiter came and they ordered.  He pulled his bag over to pull out the PDA Sam had made him bring, - his phone.  He logged on to find the local colleges.  "There, that's what's within an hour or so of where I am."

She looked them over carefully.  Then up at him.  "It's expensive."  Xander shrugged.  "How can you afford that?"

Xander smiled.  "Presents.  I have made some good investments.  Or if you wanted I could get you a place in Las Vegas to do UNLV.  I have a business there.  I can work it somehow with them to give you resident status I think."

"No.  It's too hot there."  She went back to looking.  She liked the looks of a few of them.  One she really adored the pictures of the campus.  "Where's this one?"

He looked.  "It's a half-hour from us away from Denver.  I've never been there and I don't know the town all that well.  I know they gave my porsche looks like I'm yuppie scum.  Colorado Springs attracted some yuppies for the last decade."  She smiled at that.  "We can check."  She nodded, going back to looking while their orders were brought.  Xander dug in, looking at the extra dish on the side.  "What is that?"

John looked.  "Wasabi."

"Oh."

"Hot."

"Okay."  He ate it without it.   It was good and he wouldn't belch.  Tara handed back the PDA then ate.  He looked at her.  "I can find you whatever you need so you're safer, Tara.  And if your parents show up I'll beat them or let my dogs bite or something."

She giggled.  "That's mean."

He shrugged.  "I can be mean when I need to be.  Especially since my parents' lawyer just walked in."  He ducked his head a bit.  "Please?  You'd be safer.  At least come look at them?"

"I'd have to tell Spike."

"We can do that.  Not an issue."

She nodded.  "I'll look next week. It's break."

He looked at her.  "Do you actually have classes this week?"

"Well..."

"It's the spring, Tara."

"I'm missing one but I do have other ones."

"When do you get free?"

"Tomorrow?"

"We can stay overnight in LA?" Xander asked John.  "Come back to pick her up then head?"

"We can do that.  There's got to be somewhere close by."

Xander nodded, looking at her.  "See?"  His phone rang.  "What?"  He listened.  "I thought mine wasn't on that block, Faith.  Please."  He waited while she handed the phone over.  "Last time I knew my house wasn't on that plan."  He ate while he listened.  "Steve, my financial manager did."  He looked up and muttered something.  The man said something about not knowing why he was there then left.  He hung up and called Steve.  "Is everything working now?  It looks like another so-called punishment for me not being theirs.  Looks like I have to ruin someone."  He smiled.  "Thanks, Steve.  Yes they did.  Then we'd move to the resort or something I guess."  He nodded.  "Thanks, man.  Please.  Tomorrow with Tara.  So she can look over the local colleges."  He smiled.  "Exactly.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "He can arrange that easily and find out who tried to screw with me this time.  That way I can have some fun later."  He smiled at her.  She squeaked and pointed.  Xander looked.  "Vessie."  He gave him a hug and a kiss.  "How's the council?"

"Good.  That was someone's grand plan to make you want to go to them to fix it.  Would you let me handle it?"

"I need something to do tonight."  Vesvold gave him a look.  "If you want but you're busy doing Council things."

"I can make them sorrier than even you can, Xander."  He stroked over his hair.  "I like it better when it's not braided.  Be a good boy."  He handed him something.  "From Steve and Dean."  He smiled at Tara.  "I am harmless to you, Miss Maclay, but I have loved Xander for a very long time.  If we can work out certain issues like people wanting to kill me for wanting him, I'll offer for him some day.  Until then, watching him with Dean and Sam gives me a great bit of pleasure to spoil them."  He disappeared.

"That's Vesvold, he's on the High Council," Xander told her, looking inside the envelope.  "Steve and Dean planned ahead."  He handed it to John, who checked then put it into his shirt pocket.  "Anyone but him, Dean, Sam, and occasionally John for birthday presents I turn down.  They all want my hair."

She went from gaping to giggling.  "Xander!"

"It's the truth," John said dryly, eating a bite of salad.  She shook her head, digging in again.  "He's good and he helps protect the boy when the rest of them want to own him."

Xander nodded quickly.  "One young one brought me a snack during the hearing.  It was very nice of him but he was too young.  Even his mother told him he was too young."

"Aww," the friend said.

Xander nodded.  "Very.  He was cute but I pointed out I'm taken and he has to be older."  He dug in again, tasting the wasabi.  He grimaced.  "That's way too hot.  I've lost my pepper tongue."  He finished up and drank his water.  He looked at her, giving her the puppy eyes look.  "Please?"

"I have to keep up my grades."

"You won't be on financial aid, Tara."  She blushed.  "Really.  As long as you're doing good I won't complain.  It'd get you out of the area before the bad things happen like usual in the spring.  Even Jonathan noticed.  He asked me where Buffy was."

She nodded.  "We can do that."  He beamed.  "Are you sure they won't mind?"

"Nope.  They won't mind.  Faith might try to pick but she won't mind that much."  He winked.  "It'll be fine.  I've got a separate room over the garage for a protector when the family's gone."  She blushed.  "I need it."  She nodded and pointed.  He looked at the chef who was pouting.  "I lost my pepper tongue in Colorado."  He came out to hand them dessert then walked off.  Xander looked at John, who rolled his eyes and shook his head.  "It's been excellent."  He dug in with a moan.  "Oh, this is good.  I want this recipe."  The chef brought it out.  Xander gave him a kiss on the cheek, nearly making him swoon but go back to the kitchen.  Xander let Tara have a bite since she had something different.  She moaned too.  "We should stop in Las Vegas to get some from the good chocolate shop.  Plus to check in."

"Later," John ordered.  "Lets get you back to a safe area."  Strife appeared, shaking his head quickly.  "No?"

"Storm moving in up there.  It'll be better to leave tonight, lay over in Vegas, then leave."  He disappeared again.

"I pray to him," Xander said.

Tara looked at him.  "I can see why."  He grinned.  "Does he like your hair?"  He beamed and nodded.  She swatted him gently.  "Xander."

"I'm being good."  He ate another bite.  "Want some, John?"

"No, I'm good with my cheesecake, Xander."  The check came and he paid it for them.  The waiter pointed at the part that said it was paid.  He gave him a look.  "He pays for his own.  He's not some starlette with an attitude issue."  The waiter blushed and took it off.  He had left a good tip as well.  "Finish up, kids."  He looked at the other girl.  "We can drop you off anywhere you need us to."

"I'm in her dorm so I'll help her pack up the kitty."

Tara nodded.  "You're sure?"

Xander nodded.  "Not an issue.  A kitty can even ride with you as long as she's not too loud."

She beamed and dug in.  She had some packing to do.  They took the girls back to the dorm and up to their rooms.  She found all her stuff packed in a single bag on the bed and the cat in a carrier.  "Who did that?"

Xander looked inside the bag then at her.  "Vesvold?"

"No," a voice said.  "The witch did it.  She wanted Tara safe too."

He looked at her.  "Willow."

She rolled her eyes.  "We'll talk later."

"As you want.  They said they'd be coming down to apologize soon."  She nodded at that.  "That makes three carry-ons.  John, take hers?  She'll take the cat.  I'll take our bag?"

"That works," he agreed.  She got her RA to sign her out so she could get her deposit back.  Once that was done he drove them to the nearest working airport and got them passage to Las Vegas.  Xander called Steve to warn him about the storm and to get him to tell the resort.  Including that they had Tara's cat.  Steve warned the resort and they had a room ready by the time they landed.  They even had a car waiting.  Tara blushed at the treatment.  John gave her a gentle nudge.  "He won it in a baccarat game," he said in her ear, making her give him a shocked look.  He nodded.  "The guy wanted to bet his country."

"I didn't want a country.  Too much of a headache," Xander said as he slid in.  Tara followed.  John came after her.  The door was shut and the driver drove them off.  He grinned at her.  "Like I said, full ride, Tara."

She looked around the strip.  "Wow.  Shiny."

"Very," he agreed with a grin, shifting next to her to point out the favorite sites he had seen during the convention.  She beamed at him and they both relaxed since they were in a safer area.  They got out at the resort.  "Paul," he said, shaking his hand.  "You remember John, right?"

"I do.  Mr. Winchester.  And this is?"

"Tara Maclay.  A friend from home I'm taking under my wing so she can go to a good, safe school."

"Interested in UNLV?  It's a great school."

"I'm thinking near him because my girlfriend's near there," she said quietly, not looking at him.

He smiled.  "Then don't you worry about things, Miss Maclay.  We're mostly polite around here.  If not, Xander gave me permission to spank."  He walked them inside, smiling at the cat that was watching him.  "Hi, kitty.  We have a disposable litterbox waiting on you in the suite for that one."

"Miss Kitty Fantatsico," Xander supplied since Tara was blushing and trying to watch the floor to keep it from getting away from her feet.  That name got a smile.  "She and Willow named her."  He showed Tara pictures.  "That's Bogart, the dog I got at the pound with everyone telling me to get something big and hyper.  Like I am."  She grinned and nodded.  "He plays with me."  He flipped the picture over.  "That's Buttons, who got abandoned when her mommy moved.  She moved in and confused Faith by deciding she had adopted us.  Bogart uses her as a pillow a lot."  She giggled.  They got off and were walked to the suite, then let inside.  "How are things going?"

"They're good.  We're making some plans for expansion.  Right now we're nearly at capacity so I wanted to do some expanding.  Steve wanted us to add a few minor rooms but in Vegas, you have to add something spectacular to be noticed.  Can we go over that?"

"I can't promise to be of much help.  But sure."

"Thank you, Mr. Harris.  I checked with the Gambling Board.  They don't have a challenge to you owning it since you don't do day-to-day things."

"Why would they?" John asked.

"His file that lists his unique talent on electronic games."  Tara squeaked.  "He has the worst luck.  He can tell when they want to go off."  She gaped at Xander.  Who nodded.  "Since I have daily running duties and have Steve between us, it's all good to them."

"That's good to know," Xander agreed.  "Were you going to add on luxury rooms?"

"A few.  I'll get the plans together for after dinner?"

"That'll be fine," Xander agreed.  "We just flew in and Tara probably needs a nap."  He looked at her.  "Want to eat out or in?"

"In?" she suggested.  "I don't think I'd fit in."

"Las Vegas has millions of tourists a year, Tara.  I'm sure they've seen stranger than me and you being cute."

She blushed. "Still."

"Okay."  He looked at his manager.  "How's Jace's doing?"

"She's fine.  We've talked a few times."  He smiled.  "She's a very interesting and nice woman.  Her place cashes in on the resort and relaxation people."

"She is," Xander agreed.  "I'll probably invite her over tomorrow if we still have to stay."

"They're projecting a good three days for it to be shut down."  Xander groaned.  "They can handle it."

"I only left enough ready food for a week."

"Dean and Sammy can both cook enough to feed themselves," John promised.  "You stocked the pantry and Sammy can use a cookbook, Xander."  He nodded at that.  He looked at the manager.  "We don't want to interrupt anything, just hide from the storm."

"I understand.  I remember the problems he had last time.  When is the next convention in town?"

"I don't know.  I'll ask Adam.  I know it rotates about every decade."  He nodded and left, leaving them to rest and then get dinner.  "Rest?"  She let Miss Kitty out to look around.  She found the litter box first, which made them all happy.  "There's two bedrooms.  Tara, John?"

"Fat chance, kid.  Hit the bed.  I'll take the pullout couch.  That way no one can break in and steal you."  Xander nodded, getting up and pulling Tara up so she could pick her bedroom.  He smiled.  The boy was so cute with her.  Like a big brother.  Dean was clearly rubbing off on him.  He censored that thought because it led places he didn't want to imagine or see again.  He settled in, calling Jace's to let her know Xander was back in town for a few days due to that storm.  Then he called the boys.  "We're at the resort in Vegas.  We heard about the storm.  We're here with Tara and her cat."  It hopped up to look at him.  "Hi, Miss Kitty."  He petted it.  She stared at him then wandered off.  "It's clear she's a practicing witch since that's a familiar."  He listened to the boys.  "We'll be fine.  We're at the resort.  We can handle a few days.  Thanks, boys."  He hung up.  "They're fine, Xander, and Sammy broke out the popcorn to watch the snow with Faith."

"Good.  I'm not sure if I like snow except it gives time and opportunity to cuddle."

John smiled at that answer.  Tara was probably shaking her head but that was usual anymore.  You had to take some time to get used to Xander.

***

Xander came off the plane sweaty and shaky.  "I hate turbulence."  He found Sam waiting and clung to him.  "I hate turbulence."

"Me too," Dean agreed, taking his own cuddle.  He looked at the shy blonde girl behind his father.  "Hi, you must be Tara.  I'm Dean, this is Sammy.  Faith and Steve are still trapped at home.  Faith can't drive on snow yet."

"We'll fix that," John agreed.  "Which car?"

"The SUV.  The porsche is hopeless on snow," Dean said.  He let Sam walk Tara out.

He smiled.  "Dean's a bit forceful and protective.  Want help carrying her?"

"I'm good," she said timidly.

He pinched her on the arm.  "You don't have to be scared of me unless you're an evil thing or you want to hurt Xander."  She shook her head quickly.  "Then we're good.  C'mon, we changed the sheets in the apartment over the garage."  He walked out with her, glaring at someone who tried to get closer to her.  "Don't even try," he told the pickpocket.  He ran the other way.  She gave him a startled look.  He grinned at her.  "I don't want to have to beat a pickpocket today."

"C'mon, Sammy," Dean shouted.

"Had to stop a pickpocket," he said once they got closer.  "Need anything on the way home?  Everything's starting to open again."

She shook her head.  "I'm okay."

He looked at her.  "I used to have a girlfriend named Jess before she died, Tara.  If you need stuff, let us know?"  She nodded at that.  "And relax.  Before you shake yourself to death.  We're not that scary.  Well, Dean's stomach is but I'm not."  He grinned his best good boy grin.  She relaxed next to him.  They got them into the SUV.  The back was a bit cramped but they had put in the third seat and covered the X-Box.  He helped her in then handed her the cat.  Then he got in last, closing the door.  "We all here?"

"We're good," John promised from the driver's seat.  Dean was with him.  "Xander?"

Sam looked.  "Already out on the back seat, Dad."

He nodded, driving off.  "Where is the four wheel drive switch?"  Dean pointed.  "Thanks, son."  He flipped it and they were steadier.  "This is downtown Colorado Springs, Tara.  The base is the other direction by a few miles.  Up toward the national forest."  She nodded at that.  "We can call out there for you later if you wanted to talk to Willow."

"Willow's showing up tomorrow to apologize," Dean said.  He looked back at her.  "She wrote one and apologized to all of us for that.  Including a long phone call to Xander.  Buffy's coming down to make her own with her tomorrow.  If you want to hide you can."

"Willow packed long distance for her," John admitted.  "She might already know she's in town."

"Let me warn Faith."  He called home.  "Is Rosenburg hovering?"  He smiled.  "Sacked out in the back.  They had turbulence.  Sure," he agreed.  He hung up.  "She'll be down late tomorrow afternoon, Tara.  Faith told her she was not to bother you if you didn't want to be bothered and she agreed.  She wanted chicken, Dad."

"I can do that and get Tara stuff she'll be able to eat."

Dean looked at her.  "You a vegetarian or a vegan?"

"Vegetarian.  Bordering on macrobiotic."

"We've got some great fresh produce places in town," he assured her.  "Xander drags us through them a lot for dinner stuff."  She grinned.  Her cat meowed.  He looked.  "Hi, Miss Kitty."  It stared at him.  He looked at her.  "Nature witch?"  She squeaked and shrank down.  "Chill, Tara.  We're demon hunters.  Have been since Sammy was six months old.  As long as you're not an evil bitch, you're good with us."  She nodded quickly.  "Good.  I doubt Xander would like you if you were an evil bitch anyway."

"Anya showed up for the hearing.  Scared the crap out of his parents," John told him.  "Don't worry, Tara.  We've worked with some very good witches in the past.  We don't mind whatever you're doing.  Xander took enough lessons to be able to grow plants."

She looked at him.  "Willow said magic went funny around him."

"We've gotten that fixed," Sam promised.  She smiled at him.  "It'll be fine, Tara.  I promise.  If Faith picks on you I'll spank her."

"She might like that," Dean quipped, turning back around.  Sam kicked his seat.  "Hey!"

"Quit, boys," John said patiently.  Tara giggled.  "Should've seen them when they were younger in the Impala," he told her.  "We traveled all the time to handle things.  They were horrible in the car."

Xander snorted and woke himself up, looking around.  "John, are you kidnaping me too?" he asked.

"Faith wanted chicken," Dean said.  "Tara needs veggies."

"Charleston's Market?"

"Sure," John agreed.  "Then KFC."

"They have fried chicken in the deli."  When they got there he got out and went in there.  None in the deli but he placed an order and they did it for him.  By the time he got done, they had it ready.  He smiled, taking it to the register.  He paid and then walked the cart out there to load into the SUV.  "No milk yet."

"That's fine," Dean promised.  "We got some before the storm."  He looked.  "Mushrooms?"

"I like mushrooms."  He finished putting in bags, handing him the fried chicken.  "Hot off the frier."  He grinned, going back up front.  He closed the trunk and put the cart back then got back in, letting Sam get the door.  "Done."  He checked.

"The trunk light's on," John said, getting out to fix it while Xander held the bags back from the door.  This time it closed and they got to drive home.  He pulled in and let the boys carry in the groceries while he showed Tara the apartment.  "Here you go, princess."  She blushed, shaking her head.  "It'll be fine.  Don't let him spoil you too much.  He'll try."  He left, going back down to the kitchen.  Faith gave him an odd look.  "She's putting up her stuff and the cat."

"I put a litter box up there," she said.  "Cat food too.  We hit the pet store, boytoy."

"Thanks, Faith."  He gave her a kiss on the forehead.  "They made it special for you."

She dug in, moaning in pleasure.  "That deli in the market?"  He nodded, smirking some.  "Love you."

"Welcome.  Tara's a veggie person."

"That's fine.  I won't snub her for it."  She went back to nibbling.  Tara came down.  "Hey, Tara.  I'm Faith."  She licked her fingers then held out her hand.

Tara blushed.  "I don't share spit when I'm not dating."  She handed her a napkin then shook her hand.  Faith giggled at that answer.  "Can I help?"

"Sure, if you want," Xander promised.  "I'm using the grill."  He showed her the recipe.  "That plus this," he said, showing her the other one.  She smiled before washing her hands and helping with the mushrooms.  Dean and Sam went to check on things.  John went to check on his room.

Faith settled in to watch.  Tara looked at her.  "I have no idea how you do that stuff.  This is like really good tv.  He even swears when he screws up now and then."

"Was Willow good?" she asked.

"She was okay.  Not pushy and she seems like she learned her lesson.  She's got scientists doing the butt nibbling to make sure she stays straight plus helps people.  B got the old boot camp shove with a boot to correct her drinking thing.  They're good again."

"Good," Xander said.  "Are they okay up there?"

"B seems to really like it.  She's surrounded by people who do crazy, insane things and fight too.  Seems okay."  Xander looked at her.  "No way.  I'd never get to flash some tits at anyone again."  She picked out another piece of chicken to nibble on while she watched.  The dogs came in so she tossed down pieces for them.  "Buttons, let him have his own."  She tossed her one.  "She's become an aggressive mooch, Xander."

"We'll train her better."  He looked at the dog.  "Begging is wrong.  Bobby said so."

"I told him about Buttons.  He laughed."

"So did I," Xander said dryly.  "Not the dog I'd expect either of us to have, Faith."  She grinned.  "But he is good when you're watching tv."  Tara let the dogs sniff her hands and petted them.  They licked her a few times then went back to begging Faith for chicken.  "Stomach love," he told her.

She washed her hands and face off.  "All puppies do it."  She got back to working on the mushrooms, making them pretty.  Xander grinned and handed over something.  That knife worked easier for her.  She put them onto the grill.  She got the cheese and buns out too so they could be warmed at the same time.  He put on his grilled vegetable salad and it smelled great.

Faith sniffed.  "That smells better than the chicken."

"Should," Xander quipped.  "Save some of that for dinner."

"I am."  She didn't go for a third piece.  She could wait now that the empty, sucking pit was gone. "We emptied the freezer, X."

"I can make more," he said happily.

"Cool with us.  You're a good cook most of the time."  He grinned at her.  "Even if you do burn garlic now and then."

"The trees like them," he told Tara, getting a laugh and a pinch.  "Sam throws it out at the pine tree."

She flipped her mushrooms.  They'd make excellent mushroom burgers.  Xander got down plates.  She picked at a spot on one, putting it into the dishwasher.  She got another one down and it was better.

"The dogs eat off those," he told her.  "Sometimes John is funny about that."  She put it back and got something more formal since he had a lot of dishes and serving platters.

"Yeah, he visits the kitchen store for stress relief," Faith shared, getting a laugh from Xander.  "You do!"

"I do," he agreed. "It means my closet and yours aren't bursting."

"I've got more clothes now than I ever had, X.  Lay off my clothes."

He looked at her.  "Your Christmas present is from Victoria's Secret."  She moaned.  He smirked and got back to work.  "I can take it back."

"Don't you dare."  Tara blushed at that, ducking her head some.  "A girl's got to have good bras, Tara."

"Those are for girls who date," she said weakly.

He gave her a hug.  "If you need stuff like that you'll let me know.  John told me I couldn't spoil you like I do Faith."  She shook her head.  "Fine, spoil my fun."  She nodded.  He beamed.  "We'll see about the holidays.  You'll need something pretty for pictures and we're all doing jammies to open presents so I'll have to make sure you and Faith have something cute and tasteful so Dean doesn't have to drool on her.  Maybe some adult footy pajamas for you, Tara."

"It's warm enough in here to wear my usual pants and tank top," Faith complained.

"Hush or I'm getting you something in lime green then guilt tripping you into wearing it in public."

"Yes, boytoy."

Tara giggled at that.  "You're so mean," she told Xander.

"Only when you make me be."  She swatted him.  They got back to work plating things.  "Dinner!" he yelled.  Everyone came in.  The dogs gave him begging looks.  "Bobby said no begging, kids.  Shoo!"  They ran off to play in the living room until they were nearly done and more susceptible for begging or outright stealing.  He settled things around the table.  "We need more room."

"I'll get the leaf out of the closet," Sam said.  Dean came to help him slide it into place without disturbing what was already on the table.  A few chairs from the study and they were set.  Tara said her own grace while they passed around food.

Dean bit one of the burgers.  "What is that?  It's not bad."

"Marinated mushrooms and cheese," Xander told him.  Dean hummed and continued to eat.  He got some chicken too because a guy needed meat.  John looked pleasantly surprised at the mushroom burger so he ate his instead of accidentally dropping it for the dogs.  Faith too.  Faith even ate the grilled vegetable salad.  Dean too.  It was a good, filling meal.  Sam belched at the end but looked embarrassed.  He apologized and Tara smiled at him.  After the dishwasher was loaded they went to watch some tv while they got to know Tara.  Miss Kitty snuck down but only Buttons bothered her.  She glared at the dog and she quit.  She even gave up part of her lap for her cat.  She could keep the peace very well it seemed and bring a bit of normalness to the house.  Plus she was protective in her own way.  No one was going to get past her to hurt Xander or anyone else.

The European GHS Dilemma.

Note:  Blame Mytryk.  The first idea came from her!  I thought it was going to be a trilogy.

Xander got out of the cab, using the money he had gotten off one of the guards to pay him.  "Enough?"  The driver nodded and sped off.  Xander looked up at the gate then sighed and walked through them, nodding polite at the Marines.  "I'm going to guess this is the American Embassy?  And your jacket's crooked."  The Marine fixed it quickly, giving him a nod of thanks.  "Thank you."  He walked in and looked pitifully at the secretary.  "Which country am I in?"

"Monte Carlo," she said slowly, looking at him like he was insane.  "How did you get here, sir?"

"The idiot bad guy decided I'd be his pookie slave and didn't count on me saying no or stop it or gutting him with his table fork for the salad."  He grinned.  "His guards didn't appreciate that and Interpol hated it even more.  I don't know *why* they decided they couldn't drop me off here and explain this to you themselves, but apparently they're wooses."

She just nodded.  "So you were kidnaped?"

He nodded.  "I was.  I have my wallet on me and a few other things, like hair accessories."

"Okay, let me see if I can find someone to help you get back to the US."

"Please.  Thank you."  He sat down to wait.

She called someone.  "We have what sounds like a strange kidnaping victim.  He said an idiot bad guy.  Sounds American, yes.  Where are you from, sir?"

"I live in Colorado Springs at the moment but I'm originally from near LA."

She repeated that.  "Thank you, sir."  She hung up.  "He'll be right out, sir."

"It appears I don't have anything better to do today," he said dryly, making her smile.  "I mean, how often does this have to happen before someone realizes I'm not interested?"

"Has this sort of thing happened before?"

"Yes but they weren't human."  He frowned.  "The family is not going to be pleased."  A man in a nice suit walked out and he stood up with a grin.  "Can I go home now?  Please?"

"Of course, sir.  Let's go to my office."  He walked him that way, watching how he walked.  "Sir, not to be indelicate but are you a member of any particular organizations?"  Xander opened his wallet and held up his card.  "Ah, as I thought."  He let him have the guest chair.  "We don't see too many of you around here really.  There's briefings of course but you don't usually end up in this country."

"The arms dealer thought it'd be cute if his mate knew weapons.  Pity.  Interpol should have dropped me off but apparently I scare them for some reason."

"That can happen, depending on the department."  He pulled out the correct forms.  "Do you have your license?"  Xander handed it over.  "Do you have a passport at home?"

"I think so."

"Then we should be able to get you a copy of it so you can go home."  He filled out the forms and faxed it to the office in DC, checking the time.  "It's the middle of the night at home so we'll have to wait a few hours."

"That's okay, I understand that."

"Unfortunately, our housing is undergoing some renovation work since we had a severe roof leak recently.  We can give you a small stipend to spend on a rooming house up the street if you need it."

"Can I take it and make baby money so I can stay somewhere with a tub I'll appreciate?"

He smiled.  "Gambling is not a certain thing, sir."  He handed back the license.  Xander shrugged.  "If you wish but we can only comp you one day at a time."

"I understand."  He took the small envelope.  "Thank you.  Anyplace that's got good baccarat tables?"  A card was handed over and he grinned.  "Thank you for your help.  I'll be there."

"Are you sure, sir?  Wouldn't you rather rest?"

Xander beamed.  "I'm evil on baccarat."  The man gaped.  "I am.  I won a resort in Las Vegas on a poker game too."  He stood up.  "Thank you.  I'll check in tomorrow morning since it's the middle of the afternoon there?"

"I'll have heard by then."

"That's good."  He bounced off, going to the hotel on the card.  It wasn't that far away and he could use a good walk to wear himself out some.  He walked in and stopped a valet.  "Where's the security office?  I want them to check and hold my jewelry while I play cards."  A guard was pointed out.  "Merci."  He walked that way, tapping him on the arm.  "Hi.  I need to see someone about my jewelry and about my Vegas file that says I should not play slots before I go play cards."

"Are you admitting you cheat, sir?"

Xander looked then pointed.  "That one's going to hit within a few pulls."  It hit on the next one.  "Still wants to go for more."  It hit again a few pulls later and he looked at the stunned stupid guard.  "That's why I have a file and I only play card games.  Plus I have some strange hair jewelry on me and I doubt you want it there since I'm GHS," he finished quietly, looking around.

The guard got an order in his earpiece.  "The security supervisor would like to look you up, sir."

"Please.  That's why I warn."  He walked with him, taking out all his hair jewelry but the clip holding the braid together.  "That way I don't play with it.  It's simple platinum."  He let him see it.

"Your name, sir?"  Xander handed over his license.  "Why are you in Monte Carlo?"

"Some gun running idiot decided I was the concubine he wanted to own.  I decided to gut him with his salad fork.  Interpol wouldn't even drop me at the US embassy but they gave me a few bucks so I can earn enough for a good room with a decent enough tub."

"We can cash out some of the jewelry you have," he offered.

Xander grimaced, looking at them.  "Not the pins but that one," he said, separating it out.  "That one he gave me. I knew I should've stolen his wallet."

"Do you have a passport, sir?"

"No.  Not here.  That's why I was at the embassy before here."

"Good enough."  He handed over the piece of jewelry, letting his guy exchange it for money at their in-house jewelry store.  He found the file on him and read it.  "How do you know that they're going to hit?"

"It's like they talk to me or call out to me.  That's why I always warn.  So no one gets upset when I win a lot."

"I see.  You play which games?"

"Poker and baccarat mainly."

"That's fine.  We'll make sure you're not near any of the machines."

"I can't do it that way.  All I know is when they scream at me."  He shrugged.  "Then again I won the resort in Vegas during a poker game."  He sat down, getting comfortable.  "Is my GHSness going to cause  you problems?"

"I've heard of your organization.  We've had a few that have stayed here in the past.  How high are you?"

"Ten," he said with a sweet grin.

The man shuddered.  "Your entourage?"

"Home in Colorado Springs probably freaking out.  If I knew the numbers I have plugged into my cellphone I'd call.  I can't remember the house number."

"Maybe we can look it up?"

"The house is unlisted.  My cell's listed but I can't remember it.  Hmm."  He thought for a second.  "I know.  Bobby.  Bobby runs a salvage yard in North Dakota.  I know he's listed since it's a business."

"Hmm."  He put in that search criteria.  "There's over six hundred of them.  What's the name of it?"

He considered it.  "His last name starts with an S.  Oh, damn, I hate the hormones sometimes."  He frowned.

"Narrowing it down to 'S' names brings it down to five."  He let him see.

"There you are.  Him."  It was dialed for him.  "Bobby, it's Xander."  It was picked up.  "Thank the goddess you're home!"  He listened to him complain.  "No, I'm not home.  I'm in Monte Carlo without my passport.  The embassy sent the paperwork back but it's really late there.  Oops, sorry.  In a casino.  Their housing is being renovated and I came to see if I could get a decent room.  Can I put you on with the security guy so you can give him the house number or even Steve's so we can do a long distance withdrawal?"  He beamed.  "Thanks, man.  I'll bring you back something pretty."  He handed it over.  "He's like an uncle."

The security guard listened then smiled.  "He said you're one of the most troubled nephew's he's ever seen, even Samuel."  He gave him the particulars of the hotel, taking down the numbers he said.  "That's with area code?  I can certainly do that.  Yes, he did tell us that.  No, that was most necessary.  That way we know we have to watch out for him.  I can talk to the local embassy to coordinate with them.  Does he have a passport?"  He smiled.  "It's been sent for but it hasn't come back yet."  Xander pouted.  "DPP?"

"Can't get here.  I tried."

"He said he tried and they can't get here.  That would be wonderful, sir.  Please do.  That is my number here, yes.  I'm the security manager for the afternoon to evening shift and my name is Raul Santos.  Thank you, Mr. Singer.  We found your number online.  For the salvage yard.  We can do that readily enough.  We're used to the idle rich who forget their wallets.  Of course we'll watch out for him to be taken.  We've had other members here before.  Even better, sir.  Thank you.  You have a better night."  He hung up and made notes.  The guard came back with a bundle of cash.  "Let's get you checked into a modest accommodation.  That way you can afford to buy some clothes and things before you get  your allowance from your financial manager.  How long did they have you?"

"Six days."

"I see.  I would've thought longer with the hair."

Xander looked at it with a frown.  "I know, it needs conditioned."  He grinned.  "I will smack anyone who tries to grab me by the hair."

"Agreed, sir.  We would expect you to be able to protect yourself at least some of the time."  He led him out to the desk with the manila envelope he had put the other jewelry into.  "Santi?"  She smiled at him.  "This is Mr. Harris.  He is American and got kidnaped to our wonderful country.  The embassy is working with him to get him home.  He needs a decent room with a good tub to soak away the stress in plus a safe in the room."

"I think we have one of the lesser suites available," she offered, looking it up.  "I see that we do.  They're going for two hundred a night, American."

Xander looked at his stash and frowned.  "That's a lot.  I only have six thousand."

"Usually the embassy can get you home within two weeks," Raul told him gently.

Xander nodded.  "Then I can accept that.  It has a nice tub?"

"It has a standing shower."

Xander grimaced.  "I'd like a tub if I can.  I'm kinda...."  He leaned closer. "I have rampaging hormones now and then," he said quietly.

She blushed.  "GHS?" she whispered.  He nodded.  "There's a suite that most of them like but it's presently occupied with a rock star.  Let me check for something in a similar price range."  She looked.  "We have one of the corner suites that has one.  That one goes for two- thirty a night American."  He handed over the stash, letting her count it out.  "There you, Mr. Harris."  She let him fill out all the information.  "No phone number?"

"I can't remember it."

"That's fine.  If you do, you'll put it down for us, sir."  She got him a room key.  "There you go.  All set for the next week.  Do have fun exploring our city while you wait."  He grinned and nodded, kissing her on both cheeks like they did in the movies, getting a blush back.  Raul walked him up there to help him put his jewelry into the safe then let him take a nap while he called the embassy for him.

***

Xander came down later, looking around the gambling area.  He stayed away from the machines, because he was a good boy most of the time unless he was picking on Dean, and headed for the baccarat area.  He found a nearly empty table and sat down, putting down two hundred dollars.  The dealer changed it for chips and he smiled, putting down his first one.  She pointed at the sign, making him add another one since it was a minimum bet table.  He didn't feel the special winning tingle so he bet on the house and lost.  "Huh.  That hardly ever happens."  He sent a prayer to his gods and did it again.  And lost again.  "How do you lose betting on the house?" he asked.  She shrugged.

He frowned and did it again, winning this time by betting on the house and playing crappily.  He got up and moved to get a drink from the bar, then felt his tattoos burn suddenly.  He nearly yelped but instead rubbed them.  Then things clarified.  Huh, he was in a neutral zone.  The same thing that blocked the DPP blocked them.  He sent up another prayer of well-being and he'd handle it for now but to watch out for the family for him please, then picked a lower priced table to not lose on.  His instincts were backward on this table so he figured it out after a few hands.  He'd be able to stay in his room for a while.  Or until whoever got him his passport or could smuggle him home.

***

Raul pulled his counterparts into the office the next morning.  "How did Mr. Harris handle last night?"

"I saw your notes," the overnight person said.  "He came down and didn't look pleased that he was winning on baccarat."

"I asked him this morning if something was wrong.  He said something about his gods being blocked and screwing with his usual instincts," the dayshift person said.  "I looked him up.  How does he do that?"

"He pointed one out to the guard that brought him to me and told him when it'd hit.  It did," Raul said with a small shrug.  "He said he always warns so no one gets upset with him."

"He's been good.  I've had a camera monitoring him when he's playing.  He's stayed on baccarat the whole time so far."  He handed over the desk.  "He did point at one Middle Eastern gentleman and told the dealer that if he was drinking vodka like his father he might be losing big soon.  Apparently he won a plane from him?"

"A plane, a resort, and a racehorse," Raul said dryly.  They gaped.  "Playing poker."

"I see."

"Without having his hormones involved.  That was noted in the incident log."  That got a nod.  "The gaming commission said it was a fair one since he doesn't have a head for business and lets someone else run it."

"Better and better.  Why is he here?" the nightshift counterpart asked.

"He's GHS and he was kidnaped from Colorado Springs in the US."  They both shuddered. "The one who took him was gutted.  Interpol rescued him before he had to get others.  The arms dealer apparently wanted a concubine he could speak on his business interests with.  Mr. Harris knows and has weapons at home.  He told me that when I asked last night before I left.  He did say he prefers a sword most of the time."

That got a nod from the other two.  "How long does the Embassy think it'll take?" the dayshift guy asked.

"They said it's in processing.  Hasn't been printed yet.  It's in line to be printed sometime this month.  They'll send it here to him once it is."

"How high on the scale is he?"

"Highest.  I did call the person who headed the last convention we had in town.  The one in Paris?  He said he'd call his American counterpart to let him know that the young man is here and safe."

"That's good," the nightshift guy said.  "Any problems so far?"

"I saw one of the agents nosing around him earlier," the dayshift guy said.  "I asked him why and he said he was curious, that Interpol had said something about the young man.  He was confirming the rumors.  I gave him the notes that you left, Raul."

"He's a very nice young man.  Can't remember his home phone number at the moment but fairly nice."

"That seems to happen to their sort," the nightshift guy said dryly.  "The convention had a few of them."  He looked at the cameras.  "Why is he staring at the machine like that?"

"We've had problems all day with it," the dayshift person sighed.  He went to talk to him.  "Is it calling out?"

"In pain.  It's got a virus I think.  My computer sounded the same way when Dean downloaded one from a porn site."  He went to play it and it hit, and kept emptying itself out but he didn't touch the coins.  He smiled and plucked the thing off its side.  "This is what was going on.  It should work better now."  He beamed.  "Since I'm so good, I'm going to have a sundae."  He bounced off to do that.  The dealer waved a guard over to get his winnings for him.

The security person pointed.  "Tail him, make sure he's all right.  Get him to his room for a rest if you can."  That got a nod and he hurried after the young man.  He got two of the guards to pick up the coins while the IT person for the hotel checked the machine over and he figured out what had been put onto it.  He could learn to like that boy but he might take him home if he liked him too much.  He hoped his passport got there soon!

***

Xander looked up as the seat across from him got taken.  "Hi.  Don't worry, I'm not hogging this dealer."  He flipped his cards, she flipped hers.  He lost but it was a small bet.  She smiled and added it back to her tray.  She needed the chips.  "Did you want to play head-to- head or against the dealer with me?"

"How about we play against the dealer?" he said with a British accent.

"Sure."  He put down chips to start.  She dealt to them both.  He looked at his cards and the tingle hit him very strongly so he bet heavily on the other guy.  She gave him an odd look.  "Can't I?"

"You can."

"Then that's what I want to do."  He put some down on himself and the house just in case.  Turns out the feeling was back and he won.  He grinned at the guy.  "Thank you."

"You're most welcome.  I'm James."

"Xander."  He shook his hand.  "What part of England are you from?  I have a former friend who's from near Stonehenge."

"London."  They played another hand and Xander won that one on himself.  The house won the next five though so the dealer was exchanged because they both bet on her hand instead of theirs.  "Are you on vacation?" James asked.

"Not quite.  I kinda got stolen from home and taken to be a male mistress by someone rude."  He frowned at his current hand, upping his bet on the house.  The feeling hit him.  "Um, can I change that?"  The new dealer shook his head.  "Okay."  He put down some more on the other guy, getting an amused look.  "Don't ask, it's a funny feeling I get now and then.  The moon must be up again.  It's only strong at night around here for some reason."  James won and he tipped the dealer then gathered his winnings.  "I think I'll go shopping tomorrow after I reup my room."  He grinned at James.  "Have a nice vacation, Agent James."

"You knew?"

He leaned down.  "How do you think I learned to play baccarat?" he asked with a wicked grin.  "You can ask me more direct questions if you want.  I'm assuming you're a son or grandson.  You kinda look like how the author described him in the original books."

"Who had you?"

"Ask Interpol.  All I remember was his salad fork bent when I gutted him."  He straightened up.  "I'm only dangerous if you try to steal me.  But can you help me get back home sooner?"

"I can check on that," he promised with a slight smile.  "Go rest, sir.  You look tired."

"I can't sleep alone.  I at least need the dog anymore.  Bogart cuddles really nicely."  He walked off, heading to cash out and let the guard that shadowed him around know he was going to go do some shopping in the morning.  That way he could relax and have a day off finally.  That poor guy.

James looked at the guard pretending to be a dealer.  "Who is he?"

"Mr. Harris?  He's stranded until they can get him his passport.  The embassy is trying.  I know the security office talks to him about every day.  They say he's got a file from Las Vegas.  I know he goes out of his way to avoid the machines.  You're with who, sir?"

"MI-5.  I'll present myself to them in a moment.  You need a better wrist flip when you deal by the way."  He took his chips that way to check on him.  The head of security held up the notes he had.  "Interpol tipped us off that he was a weapons dealer."

"Hoarder, not dealer.  Probably for his own protection.  He's GHS."

"Ah, I see."  He sat down to read it, including the Vegas file.  "That's an interesting skill."

"He found another one that someone had tampered with the other day.  Helped us figure out who did it."

"Excellent of him."  He looked over.  "Why does he have weapons?"

"Apparently he hunted demons before the hormones hit.  We found his name linked to a few demonology sites.  I know he wears marks to a lot of the Greek Gods on his mid-section.  There's a tattoo girdle of them.  He was swimming the other day."

"Have we had any problems?"

"Not yet.  One who admired him greatly but the boy acted cold and said he had a man.  She was turned off by him being gay so she left the resort.  Fortunately he loses sometimes."

"He bets on the house a lot and bet on me a few times.  He said he has a feeling about when he's going to hit."

"I figured he does.  Maybe it has something to do with the tattoos.  No idea.  It's not a system.  Everyone says they get feelings about when they're going to hit.  I know he's bored stupid half the time.  He's been good about hiding whenever he surges to protect all of us."

"Interesting."  He gave the notes back.  "How long are they thinking?"

"Another week."

"I'll let my people know so they can update themselves.  He made a few people in the American government nervous as well but an agent put up a report that quieted them down."

"That's decent of them.  Are you going to shadow him tomorrow shopping?  If not I should have someone do that.  Just in case he gets stolen again.  Or like last week, he saves the crown prince from someone rude who wanted to drug him."  The agent gaped.  "He was having lunch up the street at a cafe.  The crown prince was walking past chatting with someone.  Someone came rushing up behind him with a needle so the boy tripped them then sneered until the bodyguards got him.  It was quite nice of him."

"I'm sure he's used to handling that sort of threat for himself."  He stood up.  "I'll watch him tomorrow for your guards."

"Thank you.  He doesn't usually go out before nine or ten."

"That's not that unusual for their kind."  He nodded his thanks and went to check in.  That report from the Americans was an unusual read but amusing.  Interpol was still nervous.  He decided to ask the boy in the morning about that.

***

Xander looked up from his breakfast, kicking out the chair.  "Might as well eat with me, James.  Ordered to follow me around while I'm trying on shirts?"

"I was."  He got his own breakfast off the buffet and sat down across from the young man.  "Interpol seems to think there's a few weapons dealer who would like to talk to you."

Xander finished his current bite of croissant while he thought.  "My collection is private and not for use unless there's another apocalypse that I have to help handle," he said quietly.  James dropped his coffee cup.  Xander shrugged. "I'm from Sunnydale originally.  That British friend I mentioned?  He was a Watcher."  James moaned.  "I have my reasons but I also have a friend in the Air Force who would kick my ass if I brought home more souvenirs in that class.  Pretty things yes.  Things that go boom, no."

"That's good to know."  He got up to get a refill and a sponge from the hovering waiter.  "Thank you.  Sorry about that."

"It happens, sir."  He left, going to tell his contact what the boy had said.  He was quite odd and Interpol did not like him being there.

James frowned.  "Interpol is still a bit touchy in the gut sometimes."

"Eehh, it's probably gas pains from all the onions the French eat," Xander said, making James laugh.  "Anyway, I'm going to go shopping.  I need a few new shirts and I'm falling down on presents so I don't get pouted at by anyone.  You're more than welcome to come with me if you want.  And if the sort they're paranoid about show up," he said with a nod at someone staring at him.  "We'll handle it."

"Not backed up?" he asked dryly.

"That's as much a weapon as I am."  James gaped.  "John makes sure I train daily and I've been doing katas and things to wear myself out most every single afternoon."  He sipped his coffee, getting back to the serious business of eating.  Sam would pout if he lost weight.  Dean might spank too.  They left, Xander hiring a car for the day, James deciding to accompany him just in case something happened.  Which of course it did.  They got to the first store and someone came in to kidnap them.  Xander got the one with the gun on him.  James got his own.  Then Xander got the boss with a hairpin that he threw.  The guy went down begging for mercy since he hit him on the dick.  "Pity."  He walked over to pluck it out and wipe off on a sanitizing wipe the shop girl gave him.  "Thank you.  We'll be looking at shirts in a moment please."  She nodded to get them some.  He looked down at him.  "Didn't I buy a Mark 7 off you guys?"  The man on the ground nodded frantically.  "I'm out of the business unless it attacks me.  Why follow me shirt shopping when I'm stranded here?"

"Our boss is arranging the liquidation of his assets since he's sick, Mr. Harris.  We wanted to invite you to look."

"At gunpoint?" James asked.  "That's frightfully rude of you."

Xander frowned at him.  "You sound like Giles; can you quit that before I freak out since he tried to sell me to a higher demon?"

"I can try to be less stuffy," he offered.

"Please."  He looked at him again.  "Dean and John would be very, very pissed if I brought home more weapons and Jack O'Neill would kick my ass up and down Colorado Springs.  You can ask Jack or John Winchester if I can have something new.  If so then I'll gladly come look.  If not, I'm moping because I can't get home to play with my boys or my dog."  He pouted.  "Please don't be mean to me?"  The man gave him a pathetic look and nodded, leaving with his henchmen.  Xander straightened himself out.  "There, better."   He went to look at shirts.  "I need to see female ones too.  I have to buy a nice present for Faith.  She's a friend who lives in my attic."  The shop girl gave him an odd look but showed him some.  He pointed at a size.  "She's about that big."  He held a hand up to her height.  "This tall.  She has a thing for leather pants."  A different shirt was shown to him.  "That's perfect.  She has a pair of leather pants that'll look stunning over."  He got himself a few new ones too then paid and they left, going to another store for other things.  Xander found a few odd things that he thought Danny might like, staring at them with his head tipped to the side.  "I can't read that language.  What language is this in?" he asked the store's owner.

"Egyptian."

"I can read hieroglyphics."

"This is in an earlier form of that language, sir.  You have excellent taste in antiques."

"I know an Egyptologist who needs a souvenir of me getting stranded over here thanks to a kidnaper."  He grinned.  "Think this'll work?"  The man beamed, letting him touch it.  And of course it was possessed.  "Do we have any more?"

"We have a whole set in the back."  He took the vase to lead him back there and show it off.  "That is what we have."

Xander carefully touched each thing, frowning at the bed  "That's French, not Egyptian.  Or so said the guy at the furniture store."  He grinned.  "I'm still educating myself in that stuff."  He found one piece he *knew* wasn't supposed to be in normal hands.  "Let me call my financial manager, have him do a money transfer for me.  I'll take everything but the bed, including this interesting statue."  He put it onto the table.  "My friend Faith wanted one."  That got a nod and he went to do that while Xander texted the number from the cellphone he had bought.  "Why can't I text someone in the US?" he asked James.

"You need a country code."  He put it in for him, getting a beaming smile of thanks.  "Why?" he asked quietly.

"Like Giles' stuff," he said with a point at the statue.  "I know who that was."  He finished texting it and got it sent.  Steve sent back a swear but did it anyway.  It was arranged through numerous text messages and it was Xander's.  Steve gave them the address to send it to while Xander walked off with the statue to put into the trunk.  They got into the car and headed off.  "That statue used to be a fellow student's mother," he said after a few minutes of driving.  "I thought it got destroyed when the school blew up."  James gaped.  "Sunnydale stuff."  He pointed at a store. "Is that another one?"

"It is.  Why?"

"It's fucking glowing," he muttered.  He parked and got out, leaning around the door to look.  "Hello?"  Someone in the back swore in a very British voice.  "Are you a watcher or someone else?"  He walked in, James behind him.  A familiar face came out.  "Ethan Rayne?"

"Yes.  Do I know you?"

"Xander Harris."  Ethan looked confused.  "I helped Buffy."

"Oh, yes.  Ripper's girl.  How are they?"

"He's in jail for selling me to a higher demon and she's in the military to get dried out after special girl syndrome led to alcoholism her freshman year."  Ethan gaped at that, slowly shaking his head.  Xander nodded.  "He sold me to someone on the High Council.  Why is it that no one from the DPP can get here?  And is it the same thing that's blocking my anchor's marks?"

"Anchor marks?"  Xander lowered his pants to show him one hip's worth.  "Oh, my," he breathed.  "Like Jace?"

"In a few ways," he agreed dryly.  "It's messing up my gambling instincts and I'm living on it right now  until they get my passport."

"A demon stole you?" he laughed.

"No, an arms dealer stole me."  Ethan moaned, shaking his head.  "Yeah, I know, Janus loves us chaos people but Strife loves me more."  He grinned sweetly.  "Is it the same thing?"

"It is.  It's something that was done back during the Holy Roman Empire.  I have no idea what but it protects almost the entire country from demons entering."

"Interesting.  Then why block Gods?"

"Because it wasn't the God they worshiped, boy."

"Oh.  I guess that's a good point.  Anyway.  Did you know you were glowing outside the shop?"

"I was?"

"Yeah, pale yellow, butter cream colored light."

"I have no idea why."  Xander pointed at something.  He looked the moaned.  "How do you know?"

"I serve Ares, Strife, and Cupid most of the time."

"That means you're...."  He breathed.  "You are?"

"Card carrying and I trained at a temple of Ares for a bit after a deaging curse hit me.  No, you can't have blood, urine, hair, or skin," he finished with a quip.  "John would be really upset with me and might spank."

"John?"

"I was sent from Devi's to John Winchester when the deaging curse hit me."  He grinned.  "They're protecting me."

"Ah.  That makes much sense."  He considered that piece.  "I have no idea why it's here."

"Then can you bury it?  Before it creates something that I have to help handle and then John gets *really* mad at me for getting press attention?"

"I can sink it into the ocean," he decided.  "Or I could let it possess you."

"Strife said I can't be possessed unless he agreed beforehand.  I'm not going to upset him.  He's a decent guy who thinks I'm fun."

Ethan gave him an odd look.  "That's probably worse than my affiliation with Janus."

"So?"  He shrugged.  "I'm happy and if you are, then what do I care until you attack me and I have to do what Ripper would and beat your ass?"

"Good point," he decided, nodding a bit.  "Is this your keeper?"

"No, this is Agent James.  He's following me around because Interpol decided there was a reason an arms dealer kidnaped me."  Ethan burst out cackling in glee.  "Basically, yeah.  Nothing you need a hunter for?"

"No, poppet.  We're fine," he said once he caught his breath.  He looked at the boy.  "You should scurry off."

"I am.  I'm souvenir shopping."  He grinned.  "If you can get hold of the DPP or the High Council, tell Vesvold I'm okay?"  That got a slow nod.  Xander grinned. "Thanks, Ethan."  He bounced off.  James waved weakly and followed.  "He got me my second possession.  My halloween costume one year possessed me with a soldier's memories."  He got in to drive, taking them to a different part of the city to shop there.

Ethan went to sink that particularly strange artifact into the ocean.  He did not want it in his shop if it brought such strangeness to his life.  Though he did wonder if he could go taunt Ripper a bit.  It'd make his bloody life.  Then he went to pray to Janus for the headache that boy must cause him and Strife.

***

On Olympus, Strife looked over as someone stomped his way.  "How's it hangin', Janus?"

"One of my priests met with yours."

Strife sat up.  "Xander okay?"

"They chatted.  He said to tell you he's sorry the boy gives you headaches but he's fine.  Being followed by an agent since they believe he was taken by an arms dealer for a reason."

"Unc's throwing a fit 'bout that.  That's why I'm *here*."  Janus smirked at him.  "But he's good?"

"Ethan seemed to think he was.  He told him what happened to Rupert as well.   A few minutes ago I got another one from Ethan begging me to help the boy get home since he was upsetting the locals by being himself. Apparently some rich little girl wanted to own him and he said no.  It nearly started off an international incident.  The agent got her to her embassy, got Xander back to his hotel room, and locked him in with the instruction to order dinner in that night.  Then he went to have a drink.  It wasn't even my doing."

"I know.  It sucks.  Okay, let me talk to his family and then it'll be better.  They said  his passport will be there tomorrow."  That got a nod and a smirk.  "I'm not holdin' it up.  Really.  I want him where we can find him."  He walked off shaking his head.  Sometimes Xander was really fun, but sometimes.....

***

Xander ran into James fighting his way out of the arms dealers' meeting, panting as he leaned on him.  "I'm tired of this shit.  Can't I just blow them up?"

"That might be a problem.  One might have a chemical weapon."

"Fuck."  They ran off together, James getting him into the car and taking him back to his hotel.  It only took a few hours.  Xander walked past the desk, taking the envelope the desk girl handed over.  "Thank you.  I'm taking a shower."  She nodded at that.  "If anyone who's not my family is looking for me, just say no and warn me so I have enough time to run?"

"Of course, sir."  She watched him go, wondering why he was dirty, sweaty, and his hair was sloppily braided.  She pointed at one of the security guards to follow him.  Just in case.  They learned to like that phrase around Mr. Harris.  She hoped that was his passport.  He was winning too much in the casino.

Xander walked into his room, stopping at the man standing there.  "Bobby!"  He gave him a hug.  "Is everyone okay?"

"They're fine.  John had to go beat some demon ass to get Sammy back."  He looked at the boy.  "Why are you so nasty and sweaty?"

"Arms dealers."

"Huh?"

"Don't ask.  They thought I wanted to join their club.  Thank god there's a British agent following me around right now."  He went to take a shower.  "Your present's in the closet."

"Sure," he agreed, sitting down to wait.  This story he wanted to hear.  When the boy came back out he dialed John on the cellphone that was on the desk, getting him.  "Here, give about the arms dealers, Xander."

Xander sat down on the foot of the bed to tell him, not realizing John could hear every word of the story.  He even got to babble about seeing Ethan, the presents, saving the prince, ducking a princess, and a few other things.  Then he pouted and said he wanted to go home.  Bobby tossed over the envelope, letting the boy hug his passport then log online to get them tickets home if Bobby hadn't.  Bobby did though so it was great.  He packed up, shipping things off through the security office, then they headed for the airport with Bobby being a very fussy bodyguard that didn't want him to eat at the airport.

***

John hung up and sighed, shaking his head.  "Expect Interpol to come ask about him, O'Neill."

Jack looked over.  "Why?"

"The first guy who took him was an arms dealer and they decided Xander might be too.  They had a British agent following him.  Thankfully since he just helped him rescue himself from a meeting of arms dealers."

Jack's head thumped on the table.  "You guys wear him out the minute he gets into town."

"Yes, sir," Dean said with a smirk.  "Always happy to help."

John swatted him.  "He's been wearing himself out.  He's probably too backed up.  I know he was too backed up to remember the house number."

"It's programmed into his phone.  He probably never memorized it," Sam said.  "I know I didn't."

John looked at him.  "Then we'll do what everyone else does to four-year-olds when he gets back, Sammy.  You can both memorize your name, address, and phone number."

"Thankfully he remembered Bobby's last name so the guys at the hotel could call him," Dean quipped.  Jack let out another moan, shaking his head.  "By the way, he already shipped some stuff back.  It's for Danny in care of us.  It showed up last night before we got taken again."

"Wonderful!" Jack said.  He sat up.  "I don't care how you do it but make him calm down for at least a month?"

"We'll try our best but we gotta sleep sometime," Sam said dryly.  "Are they flying back commercial, Dad?"

John nodded.  "We bought the tickets.  It's not a full flight and Bobby's got the outside seat in first class.  Xander has a window.  He'll probably nap like he did on the last flight.  There shouldn't be any new love slaves when they get back here."

"We hope," Jack amended with a dirty look for John.

"If so, they're probably evil so we'll end them," Dean said.

"I still think it was nice he stopped the guy trying to drug the prince," Sam said with a grin.

"He doesn't want anyone else to go through the same thing he does," Dean countered dryly.  "Do you need a nap too?"

"No, I'm just fine," he said with a chipper grin.

"You're both taking naps once we get the stuff to Jackson," John ordered impatiently.  "That way you're rested for when he gets back."

"Are we talking a vase?" Jack asked, sounding a bit hopeful.

"Who knows, but it's in a huge set of crates," John told him.

Jack moaned but paged Daniel to go with them.  The crates were in an unused room with the dog staring at them.

"Did it try to talk to you?" Sam cooed, petting Bogart's ears.  The dog barked and bounced around, hiding behind John while growling at the crates.

"I think that's a yes," Daniel said dryly.  He and Blair found the shipping manifest, then opened the first crate.

Blair sucked in a breath, pulling out the canopic jar carefully.  "Oh, man."

Daniel looked then tapped it, feeling the stuff inside shift.  "Jack, I think he found some missing snakes."

"Shit."

"Well, Xander does draw trouble," Strife called down.  "Yes, he found 'em with a possessed cheerleader statue too.  Said he thought it got blown up in his high school."  He appeared, looking in the crates then at the anthropologists.  "That's why you got spoiled," he said with a cheery grin.

"It's nice of him.  I'll see if Hammond can reimburse him for some of it since this stuff is so dangerous."  They called down a truck from the base with the general, letting him see the vase they had uncovered while the others went to find straps to tie Xander down.  That way no one could take him without them knowing - mostly because he'd stop whining about being tied down.

It'd give the scientists on base a lot of work for the next few weeks.  How nice of Xander.

***

Xander stumbled off the plane, wincing at his sore back.  "Layovers might have a reason," he told Bobby when he joined him.

"Maybe," he agreed.  He yawned, walking the boy down the ramp.  "This is Denver, right?"

"Yeah.  That means it's about an hour or so to town."  He looked around.  "They're not here?"

"No one can get this far in these days, kid."  He walked him to gather the three bags they had with them.  He grunted at one.  "You sure this is yours?  I don't remember it being this heavy."

Xander looked at the tags.  "It says it is but it's moving.  I know I didn't pack a person."  He got a guard over with a wave.  "This is my bag so where's the stuff that was inside since my clothes didn't used to move?"

"Step away from the bags please, sirs?"  They stepped back and sat down in easy talking range.  The guard called in a code and waited for backup then they scanned the bag with a meter before unzipping it.  He pulled the young woman out, looking at her.  "I know they x- ray bags in Europe so how did you get in there, ma'am?"

"I don't know," she said, looking around.  "Where am I?"

"Denver," Xander called.  He stared at her.  "I don't know you.  So you're not a Sunnydale thing."

"Demonic?" Bobby asked quietly.

"No.  Not that I can tell.  Where did you get on the plane?"

"New York.  I remember being in New York so I'm guessing there?"

The guards checked the bag.  "There's still some stuff in there, sirs.  We'll call New York to see if they found the rest," the head guard said.

"Please.  At least that wasn't the souvenir bag."  He looked at her.  "Do you have a name?"

"Eliza Dorris."

"Hi, I'm Xander."  He got up to shake her hand.  She tried to pull him closer and grab him around the throat but he got her down and stomped on her chest, sneering down at her.  "Why were you snuggling up to my underwear, lady?"  She stayed silent.  He put more pressure on her chest, making her gasp and scream in pain.  "I'm in a truly foul mood, lady.  I just flew in from Monte Carlo pretty much non-stop.  I'd tell me before I get mean."

"Sir, let the police handle this?  Please?" the guard asked, moving him off her.  She bounced up and Xander spun, kicking her in the jaw to knock her out.  "Wow," he breathed.

Xander pushed his braid back over his shoulder.  "I don't like mean people.  They suck."  He went to sit back down beside Bobby to sulk, arms crossed over his chest while he glared at her body.  "I don't know why she picked my stuff," Xander said.

"Yours was one of the bigger bags on the flight probably," a guard said.

Xander shrugged.  "I had to buy clothes.  They stole me."  He looked around.  "Can you see if our family is here?"

"I can," he agreed.  "What's their names?"

"Winchester, John, Sam, or Dean," Bobby said.  "We'll be right here."  They went to page them.  No answer to the page.  Bobby scowled, calling them.  "Where are you three?  Denver."  He smirked at the woman waking up.  "Because someone snuck into Xander's bag and he had to kick her ass.  Sure, we'll get a ride back."  He hung up.  "He said to catch a ride home somehow.  The bus goes there."

Xander looked at the guard.  "Any idea how much cab fare is to Colorado Springs?"

"About fifty bucks."

Xander checked his wallet then nodded.  "I have it."  He stood up with a sigh, grabbing the bags.  "Will you send me the rest of my stuff if you find it?"

"Of course, sir."  He took down his information, checked the other two bags for him, then let them leave.   He went with the police to make a report.  "He's got a good spin kick on him.  But he's a bit evil from the long flight," he told the arresting officer.  "He stomped on her chest so she might have broken ribs."

"That's reasonable.  You said she attacked him?"

"Yeah.  She was playing helpless.  He came over to shake her hand after introducing himself."  That got a nod.  The security tapes had sound and picture.  One guard was watching the guys get into a cab to head back to their hometown.  Someone ran up on them with a gun and the older one smacked him on the head.  The younger one got him down and threatened to let the cab run over his head.  The cops went to get them a ride home since they were not happy travelers at the moment.

***

Dean opened the door at the knock.  "Officer, did my stray bitch cause a problem?"

"Some guy ran up on them with a gun, sir.  Do they live here?"

"They do."  He let them inside.  "They in trouble?"

"No.  Even though he did want to let the cabdriver run over the guy with the gun and he broke the ribs of the woman who stowed away in his bag in New York."  Dean moaned, shaking his head.  "We'll let the local department know if there's a problem with her."

"Thanks.  And for bringing them home."  He shook his hand.  "Need some coffee for the drive back?  We just started a new pot a few minutes ago and Dad hasn't drank it all yet."

"Please."  He got his cup and got a refill plus Sam made him a large sandwich since he was cooking anyway.  "Thank you, gentlemen.  I'd let them nap.  They're a bit...tired."

"After he pets his pouting dog."  The officer smiled, heading back to make his report.

Xander looked at him, getting free of Bobby's grip on his arm.  "He ran up on us."

"It was the long fight, it made him grumpy," Bobby said.  "How's my dog?"

"Good.  She's on our bed.  Bogart, daddy's home."  The dog came running out to bounce around the daddy until he fell down to cuddle and love on him.  "Awww."

Sam smiled, handing Xander food, then Bobby food, then Dean food before sitting down with his own.  They looked over at the snore, finding Bogart had eaten the sandwich for him but that was fine.  He was cuddled around his dog.  "How bad was it, Bobby?" Sam asked, taking a bite of lunch.  "Dad, they're home."  Eris came running out to greet her master, getting petted and loved on by Bobby.

John came in from outside.  "How bad was it?"

"I got notes from the agent who was at the airport."  He handed them over.  "Your boy tried really hard to be a good boy."  Xander let out a massive belch, getting licked by the dog for it before they shifted and curled up better on the floor.

Dean looked at him.  "The gas medicine comes in dissolvable strips," he said quietly.  They smiled at that.  "Long layover?"

"Nearly no layover in New York.  We were on the plane for about nineteen hours all told."  They winced at that.  "Only an hour in New York and that was mostly customs."  He ate another bite, slipping his dog a bite of ham.  "Good girl, Eris."

"She was very helpful when we were moving the possessed stuff he got Daniel," Sam assured him.

"Possessed stuff?" Bobby asked.

"Stuff from their job," Dean said.

"Oh.  By the way, that cheerleader statue?  Found out more about that.  Heard of a mother/daughter cheerleading incident that got one imprisoned?"  Sam nodded but Dean shook his head.  "Well, anyway, that's the Ma."  Faith bounced in and hugged him.  "Afternoon, Faith.  Have a good morning?"

"Not too bad."  She looked at Xander then at him.  "How much spoiling am I going to have to protest?"

"New shirt and a few trinkets."

"That's cool then.  He lose big at the tables?"

"Nope.  That should be in the stuff being shipped that'll get here tomorrow."  She smirked at that.  John moaned, shaking his head.  "Nothing too huge, John.  A few books, a movie or three.  Looked like anime for some reason.  Should've shipped the clothes too I think."  He ate another bite, ignoring the begging.  Faith fed Eris though so she was a happy dog.  "He doesn't seem too backed up but I have no idea why someone snuck into his gear at the airport in New York."

John shook his head.  "Who knows."  Someone knocked on the door.  "Faith?  Can you?"

She went to answer it.  "Hi, Officer Doug.  What's up?"

"Making sure Xander's all right, Faith."  She let him see him napping with the dog in the kitchen doorway.  "That's fine."  He handed over something.  "That's who was in his bag and the guy that he had to threaten with being run over at the airport.  You might want to warn the others."  Dean leaned back to look at him.  "They were having a marital spat about who wanted to claim Xander as theirs.  Also, that's got a comprehensive report from MI-5 and Interpol.  They faxed it to us late last night.  I thought I'd bring it over at the same time when we got the FBI one this morning."  That got a moan from Faith.  "Anyway, he should be okay.  They used it to bust a few other arms dealers."  He smiled.  "Be safe and keep him inside for a few days?"

"If we can."

"Sure."  He walked off smiling.  Faith was a nice girl most of the time. Even if she had stopped a bar brawl by throwing someone through a flimsy wall the other night.

Faith walked the reports back to the table, sitting down to steal Sam's food to eat while she read.  John plucked the reports and gave her his extra sandwich.  "Thanks, John."

"Welcome."  He read over what had happened.  "It was an arms dealer who took him."  He kept going, making a pitiful noise at who had tried him earlier.  "An assassin."

"A married set," Sam corrected.  "The officer said a marital spat."

Dean took them to read over since Sam had read over their father's shoulder.  "It's nice they used the ones that wanted to keep him to bust a few others."  He kept going, shaking his head.  "At least we're warned."

Bobby nodded.  "Bet the agents are having a drink too."

"Probably not.  James seemed like a nice enough guy and he said I wasn't that much trouble," Xander said tiredly.

Dean got around Faith to pick him up and look at him.  "Want to go to bed or want lunch?"

Xander hugged him.  "Bed?"

"Sure."  He walked him that way to tuck him in with the dog.  Xander pulled him down to cuddle so he let him.  Xander fell asleep being comforted and it was good enough for him.  The dog tried to get loose a few times so Dean had to intervene before the poor dog wet on the bed.  Xander flipped over to cuddle him instead.  Sam came in to give him something to eat since Faith had stolen the rest of his and climbed in on the other side, holding Xander so he could be cuddled too.  That meant Dean could get up for a bit.  Fed Ex got there a few hours later and they had a grand unpacking party.

Faith looked at the statue.  "B told me the story about the Madisons."  She put it onto a shelf.  "We can let B guard that one."

"She's in the statue?" John asked.  He leaned closer to get a good look at it.  The eyes blinked so he knew it wasn't normal even for Sunnydale.

"Yeah.  Took over her daughter's body to relive her glory days as top cheerleader in the state since she said her daughter was slacking.  Blinded a few girls, sealed one's mouth shut, that stuff to get onto the team.  Nasty temper too," Faith said with a grin.  "Amy's not a bad witch but the last I heard she was a rat thanks to the burning at the stakes thing."  Tara walked in.  "He's back, T."  She squealed and went to hug Xander, being pulled into a sleeping cuddle pile with him and Sam.  Faith smiled.  "It's good for her."  She found her bundle of presents in the second box, looking at the shirt.  "That'll look kick ass over those maroon leather pants."

"That's probably why he bought it for you," Dean teased.  He found his own.  A few books.  "Huh?"  He looked through one and had to blush.  He put them carefully aside.

"Do I need to take a marker to make clothes on the pictures?" John asked patiently.

"No, Dad.  Might ruin it since they're ancient smut."  He didn't know there was dirty books in Latin.  He found another one with his name on it, looking inside with a moan of pleasure.  "Damn!"

Faith looked at the note inside the box.  "The boxes were left for him by a suitor.  Human, rich, and wanted to own him," she read.

"Interesting," Dean agreed, closing the jeweled cock ring.  The one for Sam would be a better handcuff bracelet.  Xander had a few more of those in there and then they found John's on the bottom.  Dean handed it over.  "What'd you get, Dad?"

He looked, smiling and stroking the top of the new journal.  "A new journal and it looks like a few demonology books."   He opened one to look.  "Hmm.  On the history of the one we wasted for getting Mary."  Bobby leaned closer to look.  It gave them all they had needed to know for years.  "I wonder where he got these?"

"Probably an ancient library," Dean said.  "Did we finish it off?"

"I'll need to read it over to make sure," John said.  Dean nodded at that.  The other one was on succuba.  "Why did he get me a book on succuba?"

"Because two like to follow you around when we're out," Faith said.  John groaned, shaking his head.  "Sorry, John."

"Not a problem.  It can only help."  He set them behind him and they got the box put aside.  Eris decided to use it as a puppy house.  "Sure, you do that."  Eris barked at Miss Kitty but the cat strolled into the box by walking over her and flopped down next to her.  The dog growled.  She hissed.  Eris barked.  Miss Kitty hissed and swatted.  Eris fled the box.  Miss Kitty got up to turn around then get comfortable.

"C'mere, Eris," Bobby said.  She made him grunt when she flopped down into his lap.  "We'll let you have the box later.  She'll get tired of it soon."  Dean tipped the box up, making her flee it.  Eris sniffed then went to sleep in it again.  Bobby stared at the cat.  "You can learn to get along, cat.  It's not nice to pick on the dogs."

She  went to sleep in the sun instead. No matter who wanted the comfy spot on the couch it was hers by right of being a cat.  Bogart got free and came out to lay with her.  She let him but had to shift when he tried to use her as a pillow.

The humans shook their heads.  They didn't understand cats.  Especially not that one.  Tara was so nice, so why was her cat such a grump?

***

John watched Xander flit around the house.  "Did you make the reservations for the convention in Miami?"

"No.  Oops."  He went to the office to do that through the GHS website.  Sam had the laptop doing some research for his father.  "Are you coming with us, John?  They only have two bedroom suites."

"No, someone needed some help so I'm heading off tomorrow to do that," he called back.  He leaned into the office a moment later.  "I can trust you to be good for Sam and Dean?"

"Yes, daddy," he said in a little kid's voice, giving him a look.  John stared back.  "I don't try to get into trouble."

"I know that.  You can try to stay out of it a bit harder though.  You will in Miami?"

"I will.  It's a convention.  They'll mask me some."

"Good."  He went to do laundry and pack.

Xander made the reservation and paid for it, then found his members book to call someone he had met at the last few conventions.  "Hi, Tim.  It's Xander Harris.  I was wondering if you'd like to have lunch or something during the convention?"  He grimaced.  "No, I know how evil a department could be if they found out.  How about not at the convention but still lunch somewhere?  That way I can spread all the good gossip to you?"

He beamed.  "I can make reservations.  I'm sure."  He looked in his contacts list.  "I do have your email.  Of course I'd understand if you guys were running a bit late due to cases.  How about one-ish?  Any cuisine I should stay away from?  I know Tara has a shellfish allergy.  Tara's a friend.  She lives here with us while she's going to school and working things out with Willow.  Yes, that Willow.  The military's been good for her."  He leaned back with a grin.

"How are you two?"  He nodded.  "That's pretty cool.  No, I just made our reservations.  Monte Carlo stopped me.  No, I was taken by an arms dealer out that way.  Anyway, I'll make one and send it to your email address because I'm sure you guys are always busy with crime stuff.  I'll see you then, Tim.  Laters."  He hung up and looked up restaurants in Miami.  Since he said he didn't care that was an okay thing.  He found one he might like and called to make a reservation.  "Hi, I'd like to make a reservation for the 31st please?"  He frowned.  "You only do celebrities?"  He snickered.  "I guess you're going out of business then, huh?"  The man on the other end was rude.

"Dude, I'm worth over ten million and that's just what's sitting around my house.  You're so screwed when I find the owner and buy him out.  Because I am a vindictive bitch today."  He hung up and considered how to do that.  He hated rude people.  Especially since he had been trying to be nice and polite.  And hey, he was having a cranky day.  "Huh.  The building's up for sale."  He checked on an account then put in a bid for it.  Full asking price, cash today.  The realtor got back with him and he told her why.  She moaned and said it could be done.  She also gave him a nice recommendation but they were packed that day due to a wedding.

He found an invitation on his desk asking him to try their restaurant and country club while he was in town for the convention.  He guessed they catered to GHS members so he set up a dinner reservation there and faxed down his invitation to them when they asked.  They faxed back a confirmation and a nice time for dinner in the restaurant overlooking their jumping arena for horses.  That sounded good so he confirmed and left it there.  When he got the papers for the building faxed, he did them and sent them back with an offer for the owner of the restaurant he now owned the building of.  That way the rudeness was solved.

***

Steve got the notice that Xander had given Dean a legacy gift and moaned, taking a tums before opening the email.  It wasn't too bad.  The offer he had sent was attached.  He could go to Miami and check on it for a vacation he guessed.  He made reservations and called Xander.  "How rude were they?"  Xander repeated the conversation, even doing voices.  Steve moaned.  "Okay.  I can handle that.  Did you set up a trust for the taxes to be paid?"  He smiled.  "That's fine, Xander.  It says there's open condos in the building, can I bum one for the fees?"  He laughed.  "That's great, thanks, Xander.  No, just for vacations.  That'll let me pop down to check on them randomly."  He smiled.  "That'll work too.  I'll be down next week.  Sure, I can take that long.  I'm only doing money management for a few of you and I can do that beachside as long as I have internet access.  Thank you, Xander.  How's Blair?"  He smiled at the good report he got.  "Excellent news.  I'll see you during the convention."  He hung up and banged his head on the table.  But hey, a free condo he only had to pay monthly fees for.  That was a benefit.  He made sure it was all set up and handled when Xander sent him the paperwork.  That was great of him.  Dean was going to be spoiled rotten soon.

***

Steve walked into the restaurant.  "Is the owner in please?"

"We're not hiring at the moment, sir," he said respectfully.

"I'm the building owner's financial manager."

"Oh!"  He nodded.  "We were most happy to comply with the new rules he set, sir.  Let me find him for you."  He went to do that.  "Bob, the building owner's financial manager is here to see you."

He grabbed a jacket and walked out to smile at Steve.  "Mr. Ellison?"

"I am."  He shook his hand, switching his briefcase to his other hand.  "I thought I should check in and see how things are going before Xander and I have lunch tomorrow."

"Of course.  My office is back by the kitchen."  He walked him that way.  It let him have a good look at a lot of plates.  He closed them in the office.  "We've made the changes he wanted.  It was good for business.  Especially that twenty percent discount to the police, firefighters, and EMS staff.  That gave us a whole new branch of people and the menu was diversified to include more normal dishes."  He got him a copy of it.  "That leaves about ten percent and the daily special for the chef to be exotic with."

Steve looked it over, nodding some.  "It looked good on the way back here."  He handed it back.  "The portions are at a good size?"

"They are.  I agree, painting food on the plate is worthless to hungry people.  We did downsize a few dishes to a more human sized level or kept a few as a shared dish."  Steve smiled at that.  "The rudeness problem was cured the same day I heard.  The chefs don't seem to mind."

"Excellent."  He handed him something.  "Xander gave me one of the condos upstairs for when I was in town.  That's my number when I'm not and it should still reach me when I am."

"Are one of you going to be checking in often?"

"Xander doesn't micromanage anything.  Unless there's a problem you'll only see him in for dinner now and then.  He doesn't with the resort he owns and he won't here."  That got a smile and a nod.  "You'll probably see me every few months to check and make sure there's not a problem brewing.  If there is, please call as soon as you can."

"Of course.  The reduction in rent is fantastic for us."

"That's what he thought you'd need most."  He smiled and stood up.  "Are there any current issues due to the demands he made?"

"No.  Not in the least.  Is he coming soon?"

Steve grinned.  "Did you see the three young men last night?  One with very long hair?"

He swallowed.  "That's Mr. Harris?"

"It is.  Though he put the building in his boyfriend's name.  We've already set up a trust to pay taxes so you won't have to worry about that stuff."

"How rich is this guy?"

Steve shrugged.  "Some of it's in hard assets so it depends on the value of gemstones that day.  Truthfully, Xander doesn't micromanage because he doesn't have a head for finances or business decisions.  Though he is teaching himself how to cook from the food network." That got a laugh.  "He's not bad.  I love to eat at his table."  He shook his hand.  "Xander and I will be having dinner tomorrow night to officially check.  I haven't heard anything bad and I would have if something had been horrible last night.  I heard Dean nearly swooned at the steak and it's his building now because he likes to eat."

The owner nodded.  "I can handle that.  Thank you, Mr. Ellison."

"Not a problem.  Xander drives me nuts sometimes doing things like this but they usually turn out okay.  He bought his other boyfriend a bookstore they fell in love with recently."  That got a smirk.  "Sam likes books.  Dean likes food."  He shrugged.  "Anyway, I'll be having an official meeting with him tomorrow."

"You have a reservation?"

"I do.  I heard you've been near capacity recently."

"That discount helped that a lot.  It lets some of the officers and that sort bring in their lovers and wives for special occasions.  Plus try new things. We even booked for their banquet this year."  Steve beamed at that, nodding a bit.  "Thank him for me."

"Of course I will.  He's in town on a convention so he's on a goofy high today."  The owner laughed and they shook hands so Steve could go back to check on his condo some more.  Someone was painting it for him today.  They'd redo the kitchen while he was back in Cascade for a few months.  Being in Miami certainly made him happier than being up there in the winter.

The owner went to tell the staff the good news, making them happy people who would not be rude to anyone else who might try to ruin them for it.

***

Xander was shown into the dining area, smiling and tipping the hostess.  "Thank you."  He sat down across from Speed.  "Hi."

"Hi.  This is nice.  Are you a member?"

"They sent me an invitation to check it out during the convention."  He gave Horatio a hug.  "Are you okay?  You look kinda depressed."

"Family stuff, Xander."  He smiled at the young man.  "How is Colorado?"

"Cold."  They both laughed.  "Even Tara and Faith said it's cold."

"Tara?" Speed asked.  The waiter came over to fill their water glasses.  "Is there a lunch special?"

"I have it, Tim.  Order whatever you want," Xander promised with a smile for the waiter.  Horatio found something he wanted.  Tim got his.  Xander ordered and the waiter left.  "Tara is Willow's former girlfriend.  They broke up because of her issues.  Tara was the last one of us left in Sunnydale so I brought her to Colorado to protect her.  She's kinda gentle and sweet and stuff.  I was worried something would attack her because she dated Willow.  Now she and Willow are talking again since Willow's working with Blair and Daniel because of her issues.  Buffy's on the same base helping out too to dry out."

Horatio hummed.  "It sounds like it's helping them."

"A lot.  Buffy's sober and training.  She's doing good according to Jack.  She apologized.  Which is nice of her.  Joyce apologized too."  That got a smile.  "Willow apologized for having us attacked.  She's been watched for bad skills and the scientists in there told her if they caught her using more magic they'd be using her as a test bunny to figure out how."

"That sounds like she's under control then," Tim agreed.  He smiled.  "How's the convention going?"

"Pretty decent.  After that one guy who wanted to own us all got taken care of, it went better."  He beamed.  "He didn't even want me.  I'm so happy and Sam teased me about that all night long."

Horatio shook his head, but he was smiling.  "We heard about him."

"He was a meany."  Their orders were brought and he sniffed.  "Good work.  Thank you."  The waiter smiled and left.  He looked at them.  "Have you ever been to Monte Carlo?"

"I've seen it on travel specials," Tim offered, taking a bite with a moan.  "Oh, that's good."  Horatio smiled, digging into his own.  "Thanks, Xander."

"Not a problem.  I liked you two when we talked the last few conventions.  Some of the others give me looks like I'm pitiful for being me and one gave me an odd look for having my boys."  He dug in, humming happily before taking a second bite.  "Monte Carlo is very pretty.  Some of the buildings look like you'd find in Spain, some don't.  The hotel I was in while I waited on my passport was very nice and understanding.  Apparently they had a convention there a few years earlier.  Well, not that hotel but in the city nearby.  After I talked to them and I tripped someone with a huge needle going for some young guy they made sure I had a guard that shadowed me when I was in the open.  The agent MI-5 sent to see what Interpol was scared about was very nice too.  Very helpful when more arms dealers came to try to woo me to their lives."  Horatio choked and Speed moaned.  "I'm okay.  I got free and he helped me escape when I ran into him on the way out."

Speed sipped his water, looking at the boy.  "How did you get to Monte Carlo without a passport?"

"The usual way only not demonic.  But I gutted him with a salad fork for stealing me.  He wanted a concubine who could talk back to him about his weapons dealings and who wouldn't whine when business got in the way of special events."  He ate another bite.  "Pity but the fork bent really strangely."

Horatio sipped some of his water.  "Arms dealers, Xander?"

"I was Buffy's gear and weapons person," he said more quietly, glancing around.  "I still have a nice collection that Jack weeded out before the Boston convention.  Which is why those two FBI guys were there and are here now," he said with a point at them.  He smiled and waved.  "Is Interpol still scared?"

"More confused than scared, Mr. Harris.  They said thank you for getting the ones who annoyed you that way."

"Not a problem."  He grinned.  "See, good me.  I even found some stuff that Daniel and Blair need to work on and gave it to them as souvenirs."

"That's not a bad thing.  Did you take pictures?" Tim asked.  Xander nodded, pulling them out of his bag.  They flipped through them together.  "It is pretty country.  Maybe we should plan a vacation there, H."

"Possibly.  It looks and sounds relaxing."

Some guy walked up to the table, sneering at Xander.  "You brought cops here?"

"Yes.  I like and respect them.  We've met at a few conventions and they're very nice people who are excellent in their chosen field.  I respect anyone that good."  The man glared at him.  Xander ate a bite of dinner then swallowed.  "Did you have a problem?  By the way, who are you since you were too rude to introduce yourself?"

"That is the General, Xander.  He's an ambassador and a suspected drug dealer," Horatio said quietly.

"Hmm.  Pity drugs are pathetic.  That's not a sin I can stand around me.  So do you mind?"  He smiled sweetly.  "Before I have to get mean and do something my boys will yell at me about later?"

The man stomped off to complain about cops being there.  The owner told him what they knew about the young man.  A sealed Las Vegas file but he still owned a resort.  Weapons knowledge that got Interpol, the FBI, and MI-5 to look at him oddly, but they had to let him go, and he had a love of gems.

"I didn't realize the thug contingent had their own country club," Tim said dryly, eating another bite of dinner.

Xander shrugged.  "Maybe because they can't get in at the other ones?"

"Could be," Horatio agreed, handing back the pictures.  "What new gossip has been going around?"

"I think my dancing is going to become as popular as the Time Warp dance," he said proudly.

Speed gave him an odd look. "It does have a pelvic thrust and a few steps to the right but I can't see the dances you learned for self defense being that cultishly popular."

Horatio shook his head quickly to clear that image.  Whole conventions of people who dressed up in harem gear with swords or long braids to dance the dances?  "Needs a movie attached."  Tim pinched him.  "It does."

"It'd be too highly rated," he countered.

Xander giggled.  "I'll suggest that to Sam."

"John in too?" Horatio asked.

"No, just my boys.   John's off hunting someone with a friend who needed help."

"That's fine.  Did Faith come?" Tim asked.  He shook his head.  "Couldn't get permission?"

"She and Tara are being girls for the week. They said this way Tara can do girlish things without four confused guys staring at them.  Only the dog could give funny looks and he was fixed so no longer a guy."  They smiled and got back to lunch.  Xander paid and they left, heading out to take him back to the hotel since he was taking a cab.  He chatted about the case in Monte Carlo and they talked about some of the people they knew in common.  Tony DiNozzo looked like hell when he had shown up so Xander was going to baby him later with a spa treatment. Blair and Daniel had showed up together and were being cute in the seminars.  It was good for them  to reconnect.

***

Later that afternoon Xander felt someone watching him.  He checked the light and felt it getting ready to change so he had to sigh in displeasure.  Shopping in Miami wasn't as fun as shopping in Las Vegas.  He spotted the guy watching him, shrugging a bit.  "You can't have it.  Don't even drool about wanting it."

"I'd like to talk to you about a job offer, young man."

"I don't work anymore."

"I've heard that."  He looked the younger man over.  "I have a confused computer system that could use your gentle touch."

"I can't program and that stuff.  All I know is when lights are about to hit."  He pointed at the one that had.  The man stopped him.  "Remove it or lose it," he snarled.  The hand was removed quickly.  "Thank you.  I'm sorry but you must have me confused with someone else, sir.  I don't do things like that."  The light turned again and he groaned.  That meant he was stuck there unless he wanted to be hit by a car.  The man stepped closer and Xander pulled his gun.  "Do not try it.  I'm fanatical about my personal safety.  I will not hesitate to waste you."  The man stepped back, swallowing hard.  "Like I said, you have me confused with someone else.  I hope you find what you're looking for but it's not me."  He put the gun back and walked off, coming back for the bag he had dropped then hiking back to the hotel.  He ran into a cop, who was staring at him.  "He was trying to get me to fix a computer system for him.  He grabbed me."

"I saw the gun, sir.  You have a permit?"  Xander put down his bags and pulled it out for him.  He looked it over.  "Why are you in Miami?"

"Convention.  I'm at the Conquistador."

"I heard we have one in town there.  It's for....?"

"People with a hormone condition that seems to attract people who want to kidnap us.  That's why I have that."  He took it back and put it back into his wallet.  "Can I please go hide before he decides he wants me to fix another computer system?"

"Why would he want that?"

"Because I have a way of knowing when lights are going to change or slot machines are going to hit."  He pointed.  "That one's going to get a person running it because it's changing awfully fast."

He looked.  "The police car waiting has a switch, sir."

"That's cool."  He grinned.  "That explains why it went to red suddenly and the blue mazda ran it and is going ..."  He winced at the crashing noise.  "Shit."  He grabbed his stuff and went to see if he could help.  "They need an ambulance.  She's moaning but unconscious."  The officer called it in and helped him with the people who needed it.  The ambulance got there a minute later and Xander backed off, taking his bags with him.  He had to come back for that same bag.  "Sorry, it keeps running away.  It's a mean present."  He walked off, smiling at the officer.  "Watch out for that one guy.  He's still watching."  The cop looked, glaring at the older gentleman.  He got a sneer back and the guy went back to his car.

"Mr. Harris, let me give you a ride back so I can get a report," he ordered.  Xander nodded, settling in against a store front to wait on him.  He said something to the responding officers, getting a nod.  He walked him off to take him back to the hotel and get more information from him.  He could see why people wanted him.  He asked him why they thought they wanted him and the boy told him a story about arms dealers and Monte Carlo.  He groaned mentally but took note so he could check on that.  The boy gave him a short hug then bounced inside with the bags.  He had made sure he had the 'running away' bag this time.  The officer got to make the report to his boss.  Who probably wasn't going to like it.

Dean saw his boy getting out of the cop car and moved to intercept him.  "What happened?"

Xander gave him a kiss with a grin.  "Some rude guy wanted me to fix a computer system for him.  I told him no and he had me mistaken with someone else.  He tried to grab me so I pulled my gun.  He backed off and I got away.  A cop saw though; he asked to see my permit.  I showed him.  He asked what happened so I told him.  Then there was a car crash so I helped a bit.  Then he drove me back to see what was the real reason and I told him about the file from Las Vegas."

"Okay.  I guess that's reasonable.  Everyone okay in the car crash?"

"Yup."  He took another kiss.  "Did Tony get to his spa treatment?"

"He looked very confused but he did.  Sammy walked him down to it."  He escorted Xander back up to their room.  "Did I need more presents?"

"I was mostly picking up stuff for Faith and Tara.  You and Sam have one in the leather binders on the desk."  He took a deeper kiss, getting a moan.  "I'm going to the cuddle pile room."

"Sure," he said, watching him bounce out.  He glanced inside the binder on top.  "He bought a bookstore?  Geek!" he muttered, going to watch over his boy.  Even if it did mean he got pulled into the cuddle pile.  He'd never admit it out loud but it felt kinda nice in there.  Sam came in a few minutes later, then walked over to where he was being cuddled.  "Xander's in here somewhere."

"I saw him."  He grinned.  "I got the most interesting call from the ones he had lunch with."

"He said some guy tried to grab him so he'd go fix a computer system."

"They explained it better to the officer.  The officer identified the guy as a local mob boss."  Dean moaned and the one cuddling him gave him a squeeze.  "Horatio said we're to dog him the rest of the weekend."

"I can do that."

"Good."

"He left us major presents on the desk."

"I saw that.  I have no idea why he bought a bookstore and a restaurant's building."  Dean gaped.  They both looked at Xander, who was being put off to the side because he was asleep.  "I'll call Steve and ask."  He went to do that.  He ran into Tony in the entryway.  "Feeling better?"

"Much.  Where is your long-haired spoiling goofball?"

"Just fell asleep in the cuddle room after having to diss a mob boss to get free."  Tony moaned, shaking his head slowly.  "The officer who saw it happen knows why so it's all cool.  We're to dog him later on if he goes back out."

"Please do.  Why do they want him?"

"Remember the tales of the Vegas convention and his gifts with the slot machines?"

"Yeah," he said slowly.

"The guy wanted Xander to *fix* a computer system."

"Ah."  He shuddered.  "Xander would be really bad if he turned evil."

"He would be but we're making sure he stays good.  Most of the time.  Now and then he goes evil while in a spoiling mood."

"That sort of evil I can take," he said, clapping him on the arm.  "I want him in self-defense tomorrow so I can use him as an example."

"Sure.  And remember, if you need us, we're in Colorado Springs.  Our local department's very nice to us."

"I can do that."  Tony smiled as he walked off.  That trio was so cute sometimes. A bit naughty but oh well.  They were GHS.  He ran into Xander before dinner and gave him a hug while thanking him for the massage.  The boy beamed and told him he looked better now, then invited him to eat dinner with them.  It was sweet of them.  They had adopted him as some sort of strange older brother.

***

Tony walked back into work Tuesday morning.  "I'm back."

"You're late," Gibbs noted coolly.

Tony checked his watch.  "I'm ten minutes early, boss.  I took yesterday as vacation time for a convention."  He looked at him.  "Was there a problem?  You didn't call."

"You had your phone turned off."

"Yeah.  But I checked it every other hour in case something happened and I needed to get back up here.  Did something happen?"

"Yes."  He stared at him.  "I had a very interesting talk with an FBI agent about your convention, DiNozzo."

"It's still a hormone condition, boss.  I have mine mostly under control or I'd be an airhead flittering around doing six million things at once. I'm also on the retrieval team if they have to find a member local to where I am and I'm one of the main self defense instructors the society has."  Gibbs gaped, just staring at him.  "I've been a member since college and I do mostly have it under control.  Even though one of the guys did treat me to a massage because I looked like hell according to him."

Gibbs closed his mouth.  "A hormone condition?"

"Yes.  Specifically one that raises pheromones and their output.  It leads to us being stolen a lot."

Gibbs pointed at the elevator.  "Conference."

"Sure."  He walked that way, shaking his head at Kate's odd look.  "Don't ask."

"Bad convention?"

"No.  Not at all.  Very good convention."  They walked into the elevator and Gibbs shut it off to stare at him.  "What did he tell you I was doing?"

"That it was a gay man and horny women convention."

"A lot of the male members are bisexual.  Sometimes it helps more to wear them out."

"Wear them out?"

"That's the only way to get pheromones and hormones to lower, Gibbs.  How did you think we did it and why did you think I date so much?"

Gibbs scowled.  "That's why?"  Tony nodded, leaning against the other side of the car.  "Since college?"

"Yes.  I'm actually one of the highest rated who works in law enforcement.  There's another one that works in a lab environment but the mental challenge helps him wear some of his out.  There's one higher but his lover's the national head and a worse case so he keeps worn out.  Plus danger pushes it back down for the immediate crisis."  He crossed his feet, giving him a happy look.  "How was your weekend?"

"Sore are you?"

"No.  Not in the least.  I didn't get laid.  I got a full body massage.  I taught self defense.  I got into the cuddle pile a few times but I didn't visit that room this time."

"That room?"

Tony nodded.  "We have a room for those of us who're backed up.  By the way, Ducky knows.  He knows the whole history and all the precautions, all the group herbal allergies, all that."

"Group herbal allergies?" he asked, starting to look really confused.  "Does Abby know too?"

"No.  Well, yes about me, about that no.  We're all allergic to a few different herbs.  They can weed out a backed up state but in too high of a dose they can kill us.  Like I said, Ducky knows all that and warned me last year when an herb showed up on a case."

"I see.  Does this affect your work?"

"Only if I'm backed up and those days you yell, I go take care of it, and I come back better for a few more hours.  At my level there's not that much interference."

"Level?"

"We grade ourselves by level of output of the problem pheromones.  Which is what gets us kidnaped and why we have absolute secrecy about other members.  We're seen as a status symbol to own, boss.  That's why I can't tell you about any other member anywhere in the world."

"There are?"

"Yes.  All over.  And about six hundred are presently being owned by the current estimates.  The ones we can rescue, we do.  If one's found here, the retrieval team is Special Ops and if they need help, they'll call."

"Who do I call if you get taken again?"

"His name's Paul and his number's in my desk along with the National Head's phone number.  Abby knows them and so does Ducky.  Call them if it doesn't look case related or if I suddenly disappear off the street or out of my apartment.  That's the most usual scenarios they seem to use."

"Fine.  Levels?"

"One to ten.  I'm a level seven.  Most of the guys my level only work from home and have a housekeeper.  If I was a bit worse, most level nines have more than one lover at a time to keep them worn out.  Almost all level tens have at least two and at least one bodyguard.  The one who spoiled me with a massage has a set of brothers who do that and their father protects them along with a few girls in the house.  Plus his dog."

Gibbs shook his head quickly.  "That one, was he the one I got warned about being a weapons dealer?"

"He collects, Gibbs.  He doesn't deal."  He straightened up and stepped closer.  "Have you ever heard of a town called Sunnydale?"

"Peripherally."

"He's from there.  He was helping handle the bad stuff that went on as the main person's gear and weapons person.  He has a slight collection now because he has an Air Force Colonel that jumped down his throat and made him weed it out after he gave him something when he needed it.  The rest of the collection is under careful watch.  Now, because of what he used to do, some arms dealer in Monte Carlo recently wanted him as his concubine and stole him from the US to have him.  He gutted the guy with a salad fork.  Interpol got involved after that.  He had to wait in Monte Carlo to get his passport so Interpol got nervous because they can't classify some guy who knows but doesn't sell them as being harmless, especially when one of the main Middle Eastern arms dealers tries to own him for his skills."  Gibbs nodded slowly at that.  "So they called in MI-5 and the FBI gave over a report they had from where the Colonel weeded out his collection.  He only collects.  Mostly for his own safety since people try to take him all the time.  Some guy snuck into his hotel suite to get him last night."

Gibbs shuddered.  "He's not dangerous?"

"No.  He would only use it in case of an invasion or to get himself free, boss."

"What if they use it as a ransom?"

"Some of the guys who've wanted him gave him jewels."

"Like chains?"

Tony pulled something out of his pocket.  "He gave me this for Abby.  It's a true bloodstone. A crystal that's been impregnated with blood used for dark magic rites according to him.  In the same box it came out of were seventeen diamonds and a lot of stones that looked like rubies and emeralds, plus a few sapphires."  Gibbs gave him a dirty look.  "It was a hint by a suitor who wants his attention.  He tried to send it back but the guy didn't listen and he gave him dinner too.  D... one of his keepers got pissed at him. The guy tried to take them all but he got him in the ass with a shotgun; they got sent back but the asshole left the jewels as an apology present and sent him chocolate."

"That's insane."

"Yeah but it happens to us.  I don't get many of those because the better worn out I keep it, the safer I am.  Until someone outs me and then I'm at a high kidnaping risk and I'll let you implant the GPS chip this time."

"You're having it done today."

"Okay, I can agree with that.  How widespread is this knowledge?"

"Not.  The agents who wrote the report Interpol saw told me and Fornell.  They said they have one working under him."

Tony nodded.  "In the Philly office," he agreed quietly.  Gibbs nodded at that.  "I worked with her keeper.  He's a nice guy."

"Keeper?"

"Boyfriend or lover with extra special powers and duties to keep us worn out and not kidnaped.  As opposed to a protector, who protects us."

"You have... which one?"

"A lot of dates."  He grinned.  "It helps."

"So all those confused, playing around, can't sit still days?"

"I'm backed up.  I go handle it during lunch and I'm usually better."

"If you're backed up undercover, DiNozzo?"

"I can take a little bit of the herb mix to cure that but too much and I'm dead from it.  It'll suck us down into lethargy and then kill us that way."

"I should've heard about this long ago."

"You shouldn't even know now, Gibbs.  The more people who know, the more likely I am to wake up in the Middle East or Asia in chains and castrated to be someone's pet."  Gibbs shuddered.  "By the way, can you please erase all the surveillance tapes for this talk?"

"I can.  The director isn't in yet."

"Oh, we're going to have a problem."  He pulled out something else.  "My buddy in Miami found it online and warned me."  He handed it over.  "There's a buy order on me."

"We're getting that chip installed today," he said, turning on the elevator and pushing the right button.  "I'll deal with the tapes."  Tony grinned.  "Give that to Abby.  I'm sure she'll squeal."  He let DiNozzo get off to do that while he went to the security office to have them erase the tapes and forget they heard it.  The head of security handed it over as soon as he walked in.  "You knew?"

"My niece is a very low level two," he said quietly.  "Did you see the website?"

"I did.  Thank you."

"Welcome.  Guard him well, Gibbs.  Some people can use this to get intel."

"She'll die," he countered.

"She's huffing up the stairs.  Does she usually listen to a discman?"

"No."  He went to check it on her and then destroyed it.  "Don't even think about touching DiNozzo, Director.  I talked to their retrieval team and I know some of them can destroy us all.  After all, pissing off the paranoid people gets us hurt."  He walked off, going to check on Tony's insertion.  Ducky was covering the small cut.  "We good?"

"Abigail's making sure," he said with a smile.  "You do look well rested."

"My buddy said I looked like shit and got me a massage," he said with a grin.  "It helped."  Abby came bouncing in.  "It work?"

"It so does.  What did you bring me?"

"Well, I got you something and my friend gave you something because he didn't want it around his house in case someone tried to steal it from him."  She bounced a bit, looking pleased.  "In my bag on my desk is yours and Kate's present from there.  McGee's is being shipped today to his desk.  The other one...."  He held it up.  "Is a genuine impregnated blood stone."

She took it to look at then hugged him.  "Your buddy is the bestest!"  She bounced off to check it out and do the DNA to see whose blood it was.  While that ran she petted her new stone all the way upstairs to dig into Tony's bag.  She tossed Kate hers then took her own. "Yours is being shipped, McGee."

"Where is Gibbs?" Kate asked.

"Ducky's office."

"Did we miss a case?" McGee asked.

"No.  We had to put the GPS chip on Tony again."  She bounced off with her t-shirt and new pet stone.  The DNA came up no match but that was fine with her.  Better really because it meant it wasn't sacrificial blood.  Less evil that way.

***

Dean reached over from his bed to snag the phone.  "Yeah?" he asked, blinking sleepily at his ceiling.  "What happened?"  He sat up, concentrating on the words.  "Okay, Jack, just calm down.  What was he exposed to or eating?  It has to be one of those.  Get him down here, we can do that."  He nodded.  "Yeah, bring whatever it was too.  We can check the list.  There's some things that don't naturally appear here that can make us surge if we're allergic to them.  I'm up.  Sure."  He hung up and went to wake up Sam.  "Get the special tub ready for Blair?  He surged badly in the commissary on base."

"Sure."

"Need me?" Xander mumbled.

"No, you rest.  You can hug Blair later.  Once he's back down."  Xander nodded, cuddling the dog instead of Sam.  The dog licked him so he let him a bit more free.  Sam and Dean went to get things ready.  Dean found the list of surge/allergies while Sam set up the tub to help bring him back down. Sam set up the testing kit on the counter in there so they could do a quick one.  Dean let him in and walked Blair back.  Sam nicked him quickly then put him into the tub while the test firmed up.  "That looks like a level eight," Dean said.

Sam nodded.  "It does."  He looked at Daniel.  "What was he doing?"

"He bought this little inhaler of gas that was supposed to help you suppress it."  He handed it over.  "That's their website so you can get an ingredient list.  Or he was eating cake."  He held it up.  "From a mix."

Sam took it to look at, tasting a bite carefully.  "No, not the cake."

Dean let some of the air out of the inhaler and nearly swooned.  "Definitely this.  He's running about a level eight, Daniel.  Do whatever you gotta do to bring him back down."  They opened up the cabinets to show him what they had stocked in there then left.  Sam brought in juice and something to nibble on later plus some fruit since Blair ate healthy stuff.  Then they left them completely alone.

Daniel looked at the man in the tub.  "We haven't gotten there yet, Blair."

"I don't care!" he moaned, pulling him down to kiss him.  "We'll talk tomorrow.  For right now, solve it?  Please?" he begged.

"Sure.  Whatever I can do to help, Blair."  He got the lube and condom he'd need, sliding in next to him to tease and play with him until Blair gave up and came for him.  Then he could work on his backlog.

Dean called Chicago.  "Adam, Dean Winchester.  Someone at the convention was selling little inhalers of air?"  He listened.  "It's important.  Blair just surged badly.  He's reading a level eight.  Just sniffing the air made my head swim.  Yeah, that stuff.  The logo on the inhaler is a happy face.  It says it's happy gas."  He heard a squeal of pleasure.  "Blair sounds worse than Xander right now."  He listened, taking notes.  "We put him in a tub with his boyfriend and all the toys they could want plus some food.  I wasn't sure if the herbs could be given for this.  Yeah, that's them.  Sammy, come find their ingredient list?"

Sam moved around him to get into the website and find it for him.  He grabbed the phone.  "Got it, Adam.  Let me email it to you."  He did that.  Adam snarled something.  "That's what we're worried about.  No, Xander shopped Miami, not the convention's tables for the most part.  Thanks, man.  What do you want us to do?"  He nodded.  "That's reasonable.  Thanks, Adam.  Let's hope we can stop this guy before it happens to more of us.  You know, we could use a group wide chemist."  He smiled.  "Isn't there one in Las Vegas?  He was at the convention.  Xander gave him tapes."  He nodded.  "That may work.  Thanks, Adam.  Have a better night."  He hung up.  "He'll send out a GHS wide alert on that stuff.  Then he'll look at malicious wounding charges with Ray's ex-wife, who is a prosecutor."

"Guess he likes them smart and deadly like Adam is," he quipped back. "Now what?"

"We let them go at it," Sam told him.  "You go stop Faith since I can hear her moving around.  I'll check on Dad."  That got a nod and they went to do that.  John was up and giving that direction a dirty look.  "Did you see a guy selling inhalers of gas in Boston?"

"One came on the last day but no one bought from him.  Why?"

"It sends you into a surge. That's Blair."

"Poor guy.  He okay?"

"He's fine.  Adam said don't give him the herbs.  The inhaler's in the office.  Adam's sending out a society wide alert on the crap."  He left, going to check on Xander.

Dean walked up the stairs, tapping gently on Faith's door, getting her.  "Did Xander bring back any inhalers of happy gas?"

"One."  She got it for him.  "He told me to hold it in case he surged in public."

"It's going to make him surge.  The noise is Sandburg."

She swallowed, making herself close her mouth.  "He good?"

"He'll be fine.  Adam said no herbing him tomorrow or tonight but to keep that stuff away from us."

"Agreed.  Are you okay?  You're sweating."

"I sniffed a bit to see if it was that.  I'll go wake up Xander in a minute."  She nodded, smirking a bit.  "If you hear from Jack before we're up, let him know they're in the special bathroom."

"I can do that.  Night, D."

"Night, Faith."  He went down to hand his father the inhaler.  "The one Xander brought back and gave to Faith, just in case he surged in public."  He went to wake Xander up to get some action in.  Xander snuggled in and stroked him while half asleep.  It was nice of him and the dog got to get free so he could go outside for a few minutes.

Faith came down a few hours later when someone knocked.  "Um....  I know you from somewhere," she said.  "Who're you?  Because it's nearly three in the morning."

"Are my anthropologists here, Miss Lehane?"

"Yeah.  Oh, that's right, you're Jack's General guy."  She let him inside, taking him to the kitchen so they wouldn't wake anyone up.  "Dean said he got exposed to something that made him surge.  Something about the gas some guy was selling to keep them down made it skyrocket really high.  Danny brought him down apparently and they're in the special tub wearing it out."

He stared at her.  "Do we know why?"

"No clue.  I can wake up Dean but he said he got it from Adam, the national head guy.  He's sending out an alert to everyone."

"I see."  He frowned.  "This gas?"  She led him to the office to show him what it looked like and found the website still up.  "That is handy to know.  Do we have any idea which element caused him to surge?"

"Nope.  Not my thing to be sciency."  She printed it off and wrote the website address on the top.  Then she got into the household email, deleting all the male enhancement ads.  She finally found the alert.  "That's what Adam sent."  She got out of the way.

"Crud," he muttered.  "No current chemist in the society?"

John walked in.  "General."

"Mr. Winchester.  Any idea how this happened?"

"Dean sniffed to see if it was that and said he got fuzzy minded," Faith said.

John looked then pointed at something.  "This is on the surge list.  That's on the surge list too for some individuals," he noted quietly.

The general sighed.  "I'd like the surge and allergy list if I may."  John got it and copied it through the fax machine for him.  "Thank you, Mr. Winchester.  Will my anthropologists be able to report for duty tomorrow?"

"They might be a bit sore," Faith offered with a grin.  "No clue otherwise.  They've been here for a bit over an hour.  They're not being noisy anymore though."

"That'll work.  Tell them to call me when they get up please."  They nodded.  "Thank you and can I have his email address?"

"Danny has it and so does Blair," Faith said firmly.  "It's the first rule.  You don't compromise another member."

"I get that, Miss Lehane.  It's reasonable with those sort of problems.  I'll get it from them."  He smiled.  "Thank you and good night."  He left, going back to base.  Jack was gotten up easily enough, he had the number.  His head doctor too.  Then they called Adam, who was a bit grumpy but agreed they could go over it to minimize the risk of Blair being taken in the field or exposed to something in a lab.  This was information they needed and they may be able to help them with a good scientist recommendation.  It'd help everyone.

***

Blair woke up and moaned, starting to shift then he cramped up.  "Ow."

"Shh," Daniel whispered, working on the cramp in his thigh.  "I've got you."

Blair looked at him.  "Thank you."

Daniel smiled.  "I would've liked it to have been more romantic but I'll take that for next time."  He took a kiss.  "You okay to get out?"

"I think I can.  Want to share a shower?"

"If you want but I'm not going to be pushy.  Next time you'll come to me and tell me you want it."

Blair grinned.  "I have wanted it, Daniel.  You're too polite to take the hint."  He took a better kiss.  "Scrub my hairy back with me?"

"I can do that."  They got out, letting out the water.  A shared shower was nice and they got to the level of handjobs before getting out.  They found bathrobes outside the door waiting on them.  "Thanks, guys."

"Not an issue," Faith called.  "Call the general guy."

"I can do that," Daniel said, smiling at Blair's blush.  "It's not your fault.  The guy said it would help keep you down."

"We found three things on the surge list in the ingredients," Sam said, walking out with cups of tea and coffee.  They took their morning potion of choice.  "Xander said you guys could bum clothes.  He's out back doing katas."  They nodded, going that way to bum clothes for the day.  Sam went back to making breakfast, finding Xander helping.  He grinned.  Xander gave him a kiss and they got to work together.  Blair came out first.  "Eggs?"

"Please.  No pork stuff?"

"No sausage in the house," Dean assured him.  Blair grinned, taking his plate.  Daniel got his own and sat down next to his boyfriend.  "Called in yet?"

Daniel grabbed the wall phone to call the base.  "It's Doctor Jackson.  Where's the general?  He wanted me to call."  He waited and ate while on hold.  "Sir," he said with his mouth full.  He swallowed and took a gulp of coffee.  "We are up."

Blair took the phone.  "I'm sorry, General Hammond.  I had no idea it'd do that."  He relaxed at the 'it wasn't your fault the guy advertised it wrong'.  "Thank you.  We are.  We borrowed some of Xander's clothes."  He ate a bite, chewing slowly while he listened.  "We can talk to him about that.  I know one of us is a CSI somewhere.  Another's a lab tech."

"I have the membership guide," Xander offered.  "And the online profiles can tell you that."

"Xander said the online ones have jobs.  I can talk to Adam before I report tonight, sir.  I'm sorry if I freaked anyone out going into kitty heat.  Yes, it basically was."

"Yowling and all," Faith teased.  Both men blushed.  "Not as loud as Sam is," she offered.

"Gee, thanks," Sam said dryly.

"You do, Sammy," John said.  "You're fine to recuperate here, guys."

"The general wants to have Janet redo my bloodwork this morning and check me over," Blair said.  "Thank you, guys.  It helped."

Xander gave him a hug around the neck.  "You're a friend, Blair.  You needed it."  He kissed him on the head.  "Now eat.  You need food to withstand being stuck by all the needles."  He went back to making himself a snack.  He goosed Sam with a grin.  "What?" he asked innocently when Sam gave him a dirty look.

"We don't have ghosts in the house, Xander."  He took a kiss.  Blair hung up and finished up.  Daniel did the same.  "Have a good day, guys."  They waved and cleaned up the bathroom before heading off into the daylight.

"No kissing over the food.  Not all of us need to taste your spit, boys," John said.

"They're hot," Faith told him.

"So?  I still don't need to see it."  He shot her a look. "The same as I don't need to see you and your current boy toy that you jog with in the park making out."

"Oops," she said with a happy grin.  Xander nearly pounced but she ducked.  "It's not that serious yet.  Calm down.  Go pounce Tara.  She had her first day of classes."

"We need to make her a special dinner," Xander decided, grabbing the SUV's keys.  "Sam, grocery shopping?"

"Sure, we can do that."  They headed out.

Dean got the dog when he came back in.  "You have fun, Bogart?"  The dog panted and laid down next to him.  "Good boy.  The bouncy father will be back soon."  The dog fell asleep against his leg.

John leaned over to look.  "He sick?"

Dean tested his nose, nodding.  "It's dry."

"I'll find us a vet," John said, going to find the phone book.  Faith grabbed the spare cash and Dean grabbed some more coffee to take with him.  It probably wasn't that serious.  The dog had been playful and bouncy last night.  But Xander would be destroyed if his dog got sick.

Whoever had given the dog antifreeze was going to be hurting badly when the boy got done with them.  If they were lucky the cops would arrest them.  They called Xander to have him come to the office once they knew for sure who it was.  Sam dropped him off, taking the groceries home then coming back with Tara too.  She did a healing spell that helped.  The cops went to talk to the neighbors.  Colorado Springs did not need Xander on a vendetta rampage.  They might have to close the city.  Fortunately the new neighbor was arrested long before they got back to the house.  For their own safety of course.

***

Tony woke up in a very pale room.  He looked around, then checked himself.  Not tied down.  That was a nice change.  He heard a groan and lifted himself up to look at the floor beside him.  "Xander?"

Xander blinked up at him.  "I feel like shit."

"Yeah, me too."  He helped him up onto the bed to check him over.  He saw some blood but no cut.  "Maybe you got one.  Are you still whole?"

Xander felt himself.  "Yup.  You?"  Tony checked then nodded.  "Now what?"

"We get free one way or another."  They got up to search for weapons.  Xander found a sword, giving it a test swing.  "Xander, that might have a live edge," he complained.

"Tony, I know how to use a sword very well."  He looked at him.  "Fair warning, I'm a berserker.  Just get out of my way if I lose it."

"Sure, I can do that."  Someone knocked and walked in with a bowl of steaming water and then a tray of fruit was handed in.  "I demand to know who took us," Tony sneered.  "This is not where I'm supposed to be and my boss is going to be livid."

She looked at him.  "I know nothing.  You'll have to take that up with the Master."  Xander got in her way.  "Please, sir.  It is not for proper women to have to be alone with men."

"You're English."  She stared.  "Hi, Xander Harris.  Out of the US.  Are you one of us?"  She nodded, looking down.  He snatched off her veil.  "How long have you been here?"

"Please!" she said, looking around frantically.  "They'll punish me."

"No they won't," Tony said.  "Because they won't get you.  I'm a federal agent."  She gave him a horrified look.  "You know something?"

"Your boss is why you are here," she said quietly.  Xander gave her back her head veil.  "Thank you."  She put it back on.

"His boss Gibbs?" Xander asked.  "Or some other boss?"

"No, I heard a female voice."

"I'll fucking kill her," Tony growled.  She cowered.  "Not you.  Who has us?"  A guard stomped in.  Xander knocked him into the wall and took his weapons, tossing Tony the gun.  "Thanks, Xander."  He looked at her.  "We're not staying."

"The Master will not be pleased," she said, nearly begging.

"The only masters I know are Ares, Strife, and Cupid," Xander told her.  "I sincerely doubt they want me here since they like my present boyfriends."

"You were to go to the Shieka."  They both shrugged.  "She is of age."

"I don't care, women turn me off," Xander told her.  She let out a high pitched whining noise.  "Tough."  He checked her over.  "Any boobytraps we should know about?"  She nodded, pointing at her arm.  He looked then he opened her arm, making her shriek in pain.  But the small chip came out.  He checked his.  Nothing.  Nothing in Tony's either.  "Good.  You can be a cooperative hostage or not.  Which way to the outside?"

"I cannot.  He'll punish me!" she said frantically.

"Not if he's dead," Tony shot back.

She gasped, sitting down on the floor.  "You cannot.  It is forbidden!"

"So is kidnaping."  Xander hauled her up and out into the hall with them.  Guards lunged but he got one and the other's gun with the sword.  She got free and ran off.  "Okay, we'll get her later."  He got another one.  Tony shot one.  They frisked the bodies for ammo and other weapons then moved on.  They came to a secure door.  With a passkey.  Xander found one and a keypad came down.  Xander shorted it out with the sword then magiced it open.  Tony gave him an odd look.  He grinned back.  "I'm a man of many talents."  They came out into a waiting selection of guards.  Xander let loose and guarded the more vulnerable human.  He got winged a few times but those guards ended up in chunks.  Tony stopped him from going after some women that were fleeing and pointed him at the other guards coming their way.  Tony reloaded and moved to help.  By the time no more guards were coming, Xander was fully gone.

Tony looked around then got Xander into a closet for a bit.  Someone leaned her head around the wall.  "You can help us leave or I'll release him to finish off everyone in this compound," he said.  She said something in Arabic.  "Phone?"  She got one and he called the office.  "Kate, put me on with an Arabic speaker please?"  She did that and he put it on speaker since the phone had one.  "Tell this one that either she helps us leave this compound or I will let the berserker with me finish destroying every single person left alive.  We did not want to be kidnaped and I did not want to be sold by my director."

Kate gasped.  "She can't have, Tony."

"Bullshit.  Just repeat that."  The person with her said that.  Tony smiled because that was Gibbs sending orders to trace the call in the background.  "Tell her I want any and all documents they have on how we got here and who gave our names to us."  The translator said that.  "And I do mean now."  The translator repeated that.  The woman ran off.  The closet door thumped.  "Xander?"  Another thump.  Tony went to peek and Xander growled.  "Until you calm down because I don't know how to bring you back."  A man came rushing up and he let Xander free, letting him slice and dice that guy.  "It's better than any action movie I've ever seen," he decided.  He knocked Xander out with a neck pinch then shot the next one coming in the leg.  "I want documentation on how we got here, who gave you our names, and where the fuck we are.  Or we will finish taking down this compound.  Xander does know explosives and I know enough to make car bombs."  The man stuttered, holding his leg.

"He said the Master would not like that," the translator said.

"Bring this Master here, we'll get him too," Tony shot back.  The man wailed.  More men showed up.  Tony shot at them.  One grazed his side.  He yelped and held it but Xander was just awake enough to jump back in.  "Damn, someone taught that boy well."  He finished taking down the men, leaving most of them alive.  Xander leaned down, panting, holding his stomach.  "Xander?"  The boy looked at him.  "You more back?"

"Yeah.  Slightly.  I'm not happy."

"You blocked me."

"That's because I heal faster," he said, straightening up.  "I'll crack later.  We need to find out who sold our asses since the first one said your female boss did."  The voice on the phone gasped.  "Yours?"

"Mine," he agreed.  "My direct boss and he's probably not happy either."

"Me either.  But hey, maybe he'll be sorry later."  He turned and shot someone running up the hall in the stomach.  He walked over, staring down at him.  "Pray to Allah you have the information we want or I'll make you meet him," he said in fairly bad Arabic.  The man stuttered that the Master was waiting on them with their bride.

"Hell no," Gibbs said loudly.  "My agent is not allowed to be married off."

"Gee, thanks," Xander called.  "I'm kinda gay, don't want some bratty little bitch anyway."  He glared at the man.  Who was clearly dying.  "Rest in peace in heaven."  He walked over him and headed out there, taking aim and firing on the group waiting on him from cover.  "Never though the memories from the soldier would come in *this* handy."

"Huh?" Tony asked from his spot.

"Back in high school I was part of a group that fought demons."

"I heard."

"In one case a chaos sorcerer turned us into our halloween costumes."  He turned and got the one coming up behind them.  Then he went back to firing on the guards around the head guy.  "I went as a soldier.  The guy who the camos belonged to used to be special forces.   Hoo-yah."  He picked up something and threw it at one.  "I'm down to two clips."

"Me too," Tony admitted.  They ducked up to count, then back down.  "Boss, could use the Marines!" he called.  "Today!  Like now!"

"There's a helicopter ten minutes away, DiNozzo.  Just hold on," he called back from the phone.

"That'll work," Xander agreed.  They shared a look.  "I'm too far down to use it offensively."

"I can't do that at all."

"I can teach you.  Adam taught me."  He fired at one coming toward them.  He went down.  Xander tried some summoning magic, giving himself a headache but he had more ammo.  He tossed some to Tony and they settled in to defend their territory.

Tony looked back at the body behind them then at him.  "Hey, boss.  Is the director there?" he called.

"No.  She's at a conference in Paris."

"Bet me."  He fired on the guards trying to rush them.  They were about down to the 'master', his daughter, and a few females.  Most of whom were armed.  "What I wouldn't give for a hand grenade," he muttered.

Xander looked up and said a long, rant filled prayer to Ares for some artillery.  Even some from his own collection?  "Please?" he whispered.  "Running out of ammo here."  A case dropped next to him out of thin air.  "Praise the Gods," he called.  He looked at Tony, who nodded he'd cover him.  Xander dove for the box, opening it and taking aim from the ground.  The stand the wedding party was standing on went up in a howl of noise, sand, and wood bits.  Xander panted, looking around.  Tony checked.  "Thanks, Ares or whoever.  Needed that!  Badly!"  He dropped it and relaxed then let Tony help him up.  "Let me go pee in a corner?"

"Go for it.  I'm going to the office."  He walked off with the body dragging behind him.  He found what he wanted in the office.  "Boss, faxing to you," he said calmly.

"How did you get artillery?"

"Xander is a high priest of Ares.  I don't give a damn at this moment," he said bluntly.  "I'll start praying myself."  He set the fax number.  "I'm sending it to the main fax line so get Cynthia off it and I'll bring back the director's body."  He sent it through then folded up the originals.  He heard a copter and sighed in pleasure.  He found a few more things.  Xander came out of another room.  "What's that?"

"Loot so we can get home.  Be damned if I'm going to spend half a month in Monte Carlo this time.  I freaked out Interpol last time."  Tony laughed, hanging up as soon as the chopper landed.  "Nice Marines.  Thank you for rescuing us."

"Special Agent DiNozzo?" one snapped.

Tony waved a hand.  "This is my fellow captive, Mr. Harris. He lives in Colorado.  This is my former director's body.  She sold us here."  They gaped.   "There's other captives hiding.  We tried to keep it at guards only."  They nodded, going inside to search the compound.  He and Xander carried the body to the chopper, flopping it inside. "Someone will want her body," he told the pilot.

"Perhaps," he agreed.

Tony looked.  "Ari?  Now?"

"What better time?"  He pointed a gun at them.  Xander bit him, making him scream in pain and shake him off.  Then Xander punched him.

"I'm feeling overly aggressive.  Don't make me give Ares another headache, asswipe."  The Marines came back with a few others.  "We know he's not a Marine?"

"He's a liaison agent with the Mossad."

"He's a terrorist that shot my boss," Tony corrected.

"No other pilot, sir."

"Fine.  He tries to do anything bad and I'll let Xander have him."

"Gee thanks," he said dryly, giving him a look.  Tony looked at the healing injuries.  "Long story but it's why some demons love me."

"Charming.  I'll be wanting to hear it later."  They squeezed in and were off.  Tony handed the Marine leader the loot.  "So we make it home without having to hit a cruiser back."

"That's reasonable, sir."

"My motto is screw them because they wanted to screw me," Xander said tiredly, leaning against the wall of the chopper.  They gaped at him.  He grinned.  "My protector's a former Marine."

"There's no former," one told him.

"Well, retired to be a dad."

"He keep in shape?"

"Yup, and he's going to whip my ass for being out of breath by that fight."

They smiled.  It wasn't that long back to base once the Marines had multiple guns on Ari.  Tony got Ari arrested on the spot as soon as they landed.  The base's commander protested until he told the NCIS officer on base.  Who checked and found the warrants.  They agreed and the NCIS agent on base took their statements while were checked over by the medics.  Xander balked but Tony gave him a dirty look.  The medic called in someone and it wasn't someone that made Xander happy but he told him how to avoid it.  That got a nod and they settled in to tell them what had happened.  The base commander laughed at Ares but he told him to explain how it got there any other way.  They decided it was good enough and let it go with that.

***

John walked off the elevator, looking at the man pacing.  "Special Agent Gibbs?"  He stopped pacing to look at him.  "John Winchester.  Xander Harris' protector.  Where are they?"

"They're landing in a few minutes.  They'll be taken by copter to the roof in about ten minutes."  He shook his hand.  "Is it always this insane?"

"Xander attracts demons."

"Never mind.  I did a check on him.  Gave myself a headache.  What about DiNozzo?"

"Xander said Tony had proof he got sold."

"I saw that.  The SecNav was not happy."

John shrugged.  "I'm retired.  I don't care who's happy."

"Good point."  He looked up at the sound of a helicopter, leading the way to the roof.   They got there in time to see them off-loaded.  "DiNozzo."  He looked him over.  "Injuries?"

"Few grazes, boss.  I'm fine.  No concussion this time."

"I hate concussions," Xander said, moving around him to hug John.  "One of the guys from Monte Carlo?"

"One of the ones who wanted you in Miami for the same reason.  It gave their guys a good way to bust a lot of weapons dealers, son."  Xander grinned, resting against his side.  "You good?"

"I lost it on everyone I could.  I wasn't picky in my targets.  I'm sick but I know it was necessary.  I'll get over it like I did the last time I saw a war."

"Last time?" Gibbs asked.

Xander looked at him.  "Relax the tighty whiteys, Gibbs.  I'm a level ten and the highest one they've found in decades."  That got a shudder. "Tony's nowhere near my level. It's almost exponential or whatever that word is."  He looked at John.  "Can we go home?  I miss the boys and the dog."

"We can go tonight.  They want to do another debriefing."

Xander grimaced.  "Not Tony's fault she sold him for info on a single arms dealer."

Gibbs groaned.  "Any other cheery news, DiNozzo?"

"Ari was piloting the chopper that picked us up, boss."  Gibbs smirked at that.  Tony pulled him out of the chopper, handing him over. "All ours."

"Thanks, DiNozzo.  This is a good present; better than a t-shirt."  He handed him over.  "That's the one who shot Ducky's assistant and me last year.  He does not *move* without you shooting him."  The guards nodded, moving him out of the way.  The casket was offloaded.  "We're positive?"  Tony handed over his copy of the forms.  He read them over.  Including the agreement.  That hadn't been faxed.  He tucked it into his shirt pocket.  "You two did good."

"Thank you," Xander said quietly.  "We rescued a few other hostages as well, Gibbs."

"I heard."

"Two were like us so we've called the national head.  He's gotten them hooked up with a facility to help heal them," Tony told him.

"That's fine."  He walked them back inside.  The guards with Ari walked him down to the cells and put him in one with high monitoring and a steady guard standing just out of reach. Gibbs walked them to the conference room, nodding at the other people in there.  "They carried her to the morgue."

"That's fine," the Secretary of the Navy said.  "Boys."  They nodded.  John saluted as soon as he saw him.  "Down, son.  You're retired."  John relaxed again.  "What happened?"

"The first we knew, we were waking up," Tony told him.  "They sent in another captive with water to bathe in and fruit.  We got intel from her, got the guard, and made a stand starting there."

"Good.  Are you all right, DiNozzo?"

"Some grazes, sir.  Xander heals faster than I do.  He took most of the injuries for me."

"That's one thing I was wondering.  Are you immortal, son?"

"A high priest of the Greek Gods.  It's a blessing on me," Xander said quietly.  That got a few funny looks.  "You explain it then."

The SecNav stared at him the nodded.  "I once knew a young man named Adam Pierson.  Wonderful researcher.  Saved my butt a few years back."

"I like Adam," he said with a grin.  "He taught me a lot."

"Good."  He looked at Tony again.  "Son, do you feel you can continue working here?"

"I'd die for Gibbs, sir, but she's no longer a problem.  As long as this hasn't gotten out and my security isn't compromised I was handling it all right."

"I agree.  You're a credit to your team. No one else puts up with Jethro the way you do."  Tony grinned but shrugged.  "That's fine then.  Only the people in this room know what truly happened."

"The Marines might.  We were a bit loud," Xander offered.

"Marines learn the value of discretion, son.  They won't say a word."  That made him finish relaxing.  "Why did they want you?"

"I used to be on the protection patrol in Sunnydale, by LA, sir.  I was her weapons person."  The SecNav gave him a horrified look.  "The hair's longer and I have better taste in clothes."  The other men gave him an odd look.  "I was there when the Initiative fell.  Then I went on a second road trip and found myself."  He grinned.  "As for my *current* collection of guns and knives and stuff?  Colonel Jack O'Neill watches me to make sure I don't buy any more since he weeded my old collection out."

"I got that report.  Were you stocking up for an invasion, Mr. Harris?" Gibbs asked.

"If the aliens come I'm there," he said dryly.  "But mostly it's for my own protection.  Things like this happen less if they think you can protect yourself or you're in a protected spot."

"That's a good reason," the SecNav said.  "He knows everything you currently have?"

"No, I love my babies," he said with a small pout.  "John's sons do.  If they find me getting something too big as a present, since I can't buy anymore without Jack jumping all over me, then they'll tell Jack."

"It's strange but in our line of work," John said quietly.  "Sometimes it comes in handy."

"I saw that when I did the background on him and came upon footage from your graduation."

"Was it that or the thing in the mall that got the Initiative sicced on us?" Xander asked.

"The mall."

"Thought it was too fast to set up an underground base."

The SecNav nodded.  "True."  He smiled.  "Are you retired?"

"Half of them want me to be their purr kitty.  I'm backed down to personal defense instead of city or world defense unless there's an alien invasion."

"Good.  I can agree to that.  Do tell Jack I said hello."

"I can do that," John promised.  He looked at the boy.  "Did you take the herbs?"

"They gave it to us while we were out," Tony said.  "Coated our clothes in it too.  You'll need to make sure he eats.  Otherwise the lethargy can be bad and he'll stop."  He looked at them.  "Are we in trouble?"

"Hell no," Gibbs told him.  He handed over the information to the SecNav, who read it over, especially the stuff he hadn't seen before.  That got tucked into his jacket.  "We need a protocol put into place in case someone else heard," he said.

Xander grinned.  "We had a talk with one who snuck into the tent we were borrowing late last night over there.  They wanted us too.  Pity and they'll pass it back that I'm a badass little fucker who'll make them beg for mercy before I steal everything from them and treat them like they wanted to treat us."  The older men all smirked.  "When I'm not herbed nearly to death, I can bring a good sized area to its knees, sirs.  I can use it offensively and I was teaching Tony last night so he knows how to in case it's necessary."

"It's a last ditch effort," John told Tony.  "Or a way to drag someone to help you."

"I understood that."  He looked at them.  "What more do you need to know, sirs?"

"Ari?" the SecNav said.

"In the jail," Tony said.  "He was on the chopper flight.  Pointed a gun at me.  Xander bit him."

"Charming.  Okay.  Winchester, are you and Harris staying in town tonight?"

"No, sir.  We want him to be safely at home where he's got good security and his dog plus his boys."

"Agreed.  How are you getting there?"

"Private flight."

"Good."  He looked at Tony.  "Do you want counseling?"

"I'm pissed, sir.  I want to know what she traded me for.  I rationalized long ago that people want to own me as a pet."

"It appears she had a vendetta against an arms dealer.  She sold you to get intel on him," Gibbs told him.  Tony growled.  "He's already down.  After the incident in Miami and Monte Carlo he was on the high priority target list.  The CIA won."  Xander smiled.  "We got a lot of them in conjunction with MI-5, Mr. Harris."

"They were stupid to steal me in the first place.  Tell Agent James I said hi."

"I can do that."  Xander grinned.  "Let me get you two escorted to the airport."

"We can drive," John promised.

"No.  We'll get you an escorting car," the SecNav assured him.  "There's too many in town who might want the boy and we'd hate for him to have to deal with them too.  He's got a bit of a reputation for screwing over whoever wants him."

"Then next time, don't steal me," Xander said dryly.  "I have a good set of keepers and I'm keeping them."  Vesvold's guard appeared.  "Is Vessie okay?"

"He's a bit ill today.  He wanted to make sure you're fine."

"I heal.  Why is he sick?"

"The flu.  One of the clan's children gave it to him."  Xander grinned.  "Relax and head home."

"I am."  He smirked.  "Tickle him for me?"

"I'm not that brave, Xander."  He disappeared to report what he had  heard.  They were finding many places they couldn't go thanks to Xander's recent kidnapings.

Xander looked at John.  "Ice cream on the plane?"

"Ice cream when we get home," he countered, giving his head a nudge.  "Tara was nearly swearing."  Xander blushed.  "With your leave, sir?"  They nodded, letting them go down to the truck and head off with an agent tailing them to the airport.  "We've got to find a way to hide more weapons on you."

"They took my hairpins," he said with a frown.  "I couldn't find them."

"The investigative team did.  They gave them to me earlier."  Xander hugged his arm.  "It'll be fine, kiddo.  We'll go home so they can baby you and fuss over you."

"Is Bogart okay?"

"Just fine.  He's back to being bouncy and that neighbor moved quickly."  Xander beamed.  "You bought Sammy a bookstore?"

"Yeah.  He loved that bookstore.  Dean likes to eat and that restaurant had been rude to me.

So he got that one.  They're very good now.  We ate there the night before we left."

"Good.  That'll give him good profits to live off of.  Make the hunting easier when we go back on the road for a bit."  Xander pouted.  "No.  Not right now."

"The next time Jack gets retired?"

"Definitely."

Xander laughed.  It was a good plan.

***

They walked in and Dean stuck Xander with something.  "That way we can't go missing you again."

"The healing will force it out."

"We checked, it won't because it's organic," Sam said, giving him a hug.  Dean stole him for his own.  "Okay."  He hugged them both.

"You and your chimp arms off me, Sammy."

"Shut up, Dean.  You stole Xander from me."

Xander looked at the dog.  "You want a hug too, Bogart?"  He barked so Xander got down to give him a hug.  The others gathered around to make sure Xander was okay and staying.

The Goddess Discord appeared.  "Who did you thank for that weapon?"

"Ares.  I thought he sent it."

"Nope.  Me, Xander."

He pulled her down to kiss her.  "Thank you, Lady Discord.  I needed that."  He gave her another one.  "I'll send up a good prayer to you later."

She smiled.  "Sure, kid."  She disappeared, going to cool herself off in a cold shower.

Dean swatted Xander.  "It's not nice to give goddesses wet panties."

Xander grinned.  "She's a naughty goddess.  Naughty ones should have them.  Especially since we were running out of ammo."

Dean gave him a pat over the hair.  "That needs worked on badly.  Get a brush?"  The dog ran to get his and Xander got his off the table.  John got the dog with Tara.  Sam and Dean got Xander's hair.  Faith snapped a picture and sent it to Jack.

"Tell him John said the next time he gets retired they're going to go hunting and leave me with him again.  Oh, and the Secretary of the Navy said hi."

Faith laughed but Tara shook her head.  "Naughty John."  She pinched him on the arm and got back to loving on the dog.  Faith sent the email and came over to help with the hair from Xander's dreams.  It was a good way to make sure he stayed there.  They could wind all sorts of GPS strings into it.  Because the next one got the full family in his face.

The End.

Table of Contents

A Hunters's GHS Dilemma. 2

A Colonel's GHS Dilemma. 140

The GHS Dilemma of a Harem. 222

The European GHS Dilemma. 313