Contents

Banks, part 2

The Pound.

Hard At Work

Home.

Ouches.

Girlish Figures.

Memories in the Moonlight.

Summoning

Personnel Issues

A Family Affair

A Switch

Slightly Evil Minions

Future Outtake

Of Bonds and Bondings.

Familial Duty

Alex's Curse.

Banks, part 2

Alex Dumass walked back into the bank later the second night, finding them narrowing down the list.  "I can make a detector, it will suck the energy out of whoever uses it for a month."  They all grimaced.  "Unless we have another way of finding things that were pulled through space and time?"

"Actually, we might," Danny offered, showing him something he had been working on.  "We know we can detect realities and which one we're in. Part of that is a relative time code.  So if we can spell something to work on just that part of that charm...."

Horatio looked at him.  "Doing it that way would almost make it unstable and radiating magic, Danny."

Ryan coughed.  "No it won't.  We can shield it, Horatio."  Willow nodded.  "A lot of the magic you guys work with is like what we do, only the method of powering it and working it is different."

"Magic like you and Willow use comes from outside you," Alex agreed.  "You pick it up, feel it, work with it, then use it.  For us, it's like an extra blood component."

"It is," Mac agreed.  "Stella figured out how to tell the difference between their magic users with a blood test.  All of us relate to magic in the same way.  She and Tim have figured out the test needed and cobbled a kit together. It's a two step, one to test for the presence and then to test for magical DNA."

Alex blinked.  "We do?"  Mac nodded.  "Did you tell anyone else?"

"No, not yet.  Why?"

"Because this is *huge*.  That's been a thought now for generations.  No one can prove it."  Mac smiled at his people.  "Cool.  So, we can definitely test the suspects?"  Stella nodded.  "Okay.  And we can do a detector one way or another.  How many are we down to?"

"Forty-three," Gibbs admitted.  "By the evidence it looks like there's five going in and possibly a sixth and/or a seventh waiting on them back at home.  Would there be a law against compelling blood samples?"

"Hmm.  Depends on the country of origin and where you find them," Alex noted.  "Just like normal probably."  He went to talk to the goblins, one of which ran in to pull Stella and McGee out to talk to them and have it explained to them.  They came back with a Ministry wide warrant.  "Ah.  This'll work wherever there's a Ministry.  They'll compel them to appear, you'll get to interrogate, take the blood, and then come back.  We've had more minor theft cases where we've used these."  He handed it to Gibbs.  "I figured you'd be the top interrogator since you do it so well."

"Thanks, kiddo.  Can we get a current location through the bank?"

"The place they last logged in their keys."

"Even that's a help," Don agreed. "We can each take a few, that way it doesn't take forever to do the questioning."  That got some nods.  "When can we get the key logs?"  Alex looked at the goblin, who huffed and went to do that.  He came back to get the suspect list, finding the greater majority of them in Europe, which simplified matters.  "Can we use the bank's floos to get there?"

"Of course.  Or a cart, either way."

"Which way is less nausea producing?" Gibbs asked.

"About equal.  One's a roller coaster, the other's spinning and flipping."

"Roller coaster," Stella said.  They all nodded at that.  They went to gather what they needed, including fact sheets to question against.

"Can you test for those who use both or multiple forms of magic?" Speed asked.

She nodded.  "The second test can.  Each type of magic you can use is a taint against the magic in your cells.  We're still working what each taint is though."

"Interesting. So even if they test negative, you can tell later if they use chaos or nature based?" Willow asked.

"I can. I found both in your sample and chaos in Ryan's.  That one we've worked out already.  It's the wanded magic that gets so heavy.  There's types of spells that can warp it. There's types of magic that warp it.  Alex's alone was probably warped by exposure to so much dark magic and the hellmouth."  Alex nodded at that.  "How do you know?"

"Because my external power signature changed.  I figure anything else would as well.  My core power signature, that'll never change.  That's how we find hiding wizards.  Hurts like hell too."  Don nodded at that.  They had shown him how to do it and then made the group practice.  "Thankfully the vaults take core magic and test it against yours to see if it matches.  They don't have to expose any."

"Which hurts," Don agreed firmly.  "A lot."

"Do you guys do a lot of police work too?" McGee asked. "Because you guys spend a lot of time learning things like the academy trained us to do."

"Some of it's how we investigate.  Some of it is tracking down leads," Alex offered.  "Some of it is that we're more likely to run into dirtbags and those hiding from a Ministry in the field.  Most often for doing bad things or because they wanted this sort of power."

"So we learn how to duel, unfairly and fairly," Don agreed.  "We learn how to subdue someone. How to hunt and track information.  Plus how to break and enter."

Alex nodded.  "I used to teach some of the dueling lessons," he said proudly.

"Well, yeah, you were world champ a number of times," Danny reminded him.  Alex just beamed at him.  "Plus a badass on a broom."

"Ron found my old quidditch cards and stats from the year I played pro," he sighed, following them out.  "We do know it's late, right?  We can do this in the morning?"

Gibbs looked at his watch.  "It's nine pm our local time," he agreed.  "Mac, Horatio?"

They looked at their teams, then nodded.  "Call it a night and we'll go investigate tomorrow."  That got mass nods and they locked their work up in the safe they had been given.  Then they went back to the rooming house for dinner and relaxation.

***

Gibbs walked into his first Ministry office and stared around, then looked at Tony, who shrugged.  There was an over-abundance of statues and artwork.  Museums didn't have this many pieces together.  "Not my fault.  I did not decorate here, boss."  He walked him over to the guard's desk, casting a language charm.  "We are here for Gringott's, Case 3."  The guard gave him a horrified look.  "We request the aurors' office."

"Wand please?"  Tony handed his over.  He registered it.  "And his?"

"He was brought for his skills at interrogation.  Gringotts does work with nature path people."  The guard glared at him.  Tony glared back.  "NCIS."  He produced his credentials.  "Try international incident."

"Very well.  Who is in charge of this case?"

"Gringotts," Gibbs told him.  Tony smirked at him.  "They are."

"The cursebreaker in charge?"

"Dumass," they said together.  The guard started to pale and back away.

"Now," Tony ordered.  "Please."  A small glowing pebble was handed over.  "My wand?"  It was handed back.  "Thank you."

"We need your name, sir?"

"Antonio DiNozzo.  Special Agent, NCIS, on special assignment."  He walked Gibbs off.  "They're pretty isolationist.  Thankfully you're about the only one we have."  He got into the lift and looked at the buttons, putting the pebble near it.  It went blue at one so he pushed that button.  They moved down and the pebble slowly turned blue, taking them up the hall to a room number 210.  He tapped then walked in, nodding at the people in there.  "Special Agents DiNozzo and Gibbs, NCIS, on special service for Gringotts."  They all stared.  "Case 3."  One of them hurried over.  He handed over their list and the warrant.  "We need them, we're weeding suspects."

"All right.  Which one of you is the supervisor?"

"He is," Tony admitted.  "My spell works better on me.  He's a nature path."

That got one single nod from someone in the back of the room.  "Gringotts is either desperate or knows something."

"We believe one of the people can."

"Crap," that person muttered.  "Someone who can do both?"

"We don't know yet.  Whenever you're ready to summon and compel?"

"Of course.  You can use our interrogation center," the person working with them agreed, leading them that way.  Tony kept Gibbs from walking in.  "What?"

Tony glared at him and pulled his wand.  "I may have been trained in New York, but really.  I work with the Banes."  He moved closer.  "Look very closely.  Who do I look like?"

The man swallowed.  "The Vinese's family?" he hesitated.  Tony nodded.  "She is what to you?"

"My great aunt, unless Arteste has passed on?"  He shook his head quickly. "Then let's not play this game.  You stonewall or eject us, we bring Cursebreaker Dumass.  He's in charge of this investigation."

The man whimpered.  "I understand."  He led them to another door and inside.  "I will go summon and compel myself."  He bowed and left.

"The posturing was for...." Gibbs asked dryly.

"The other door was an exit."  He settled himself.  "These people will be arrogant.  Like Draco before Alex arrogant.  They believe you're a myth or a lesser being."

"Then why am I here?"

Tony grinned.  "Because you're so darn cute," he offered.  Gibbs glared at him.  He grinned brighter.  "Because you're better at this."

"Good point."  He sat down next to him.  "This nature path thing...."

"To most purebloods they're considered like house elves.  Inferior, slime minded, weak.  Wrong in the eyes of nature."  Someone walked in. "Willow.  I thought you were going to Britain."

"So did I but they didn't want to work with me.  They think I'm still scary because of how I lost it during the war and went spastic.  Not like I nearly destroyed the world this time or anything," she pouted, sitting next to Gibbs.  "I was helping by destroying the bad guys."

Gibbs looked at her.  "You nearly destroyed the world?"

"Yup."

He nodded once. "You're in control?"

"Yeah.  Ethan's got a line hooked into my magic to drain me back to normal witchy levels and the HP in Miami gave me to Ryan to watch over."

"Interesting.  I wondered why Speed said he had a new puppy."  He looked at her.  "Remember, Speed, Danny, and I studied stuff that would make you shudder in horror as it ate you.  And a few things that would make you shudder in pleasure as it ate you."  She grinned at that.  "Seriously."

She nodded, looking complacent.  "So I was told by Danny.  I'd never hurt Alex anymore. I know I was sick now, poisoned by the chaos. After I nearly wound him to me as a slave, I learned better."

"Good," Gibbs assured her.  "Makes me happy I don't have to pull strings to put you in a padded cell."  He stared her down.  She nodded, sighing at that.  "Good girl."  He patted her on the head.  She bit him, making him yelp and her smirk.

"Not your bitch, thank you."  She stood up as someone walked in, casting the language charm on herself.  "Our suspects?"

"You are?"

"Rosenburg.  Part of the investigation.  In case my being here doesn't tell you how bad this is...."  The man went white and shook.  "Our suspects?"

"Coming.  We have six of the nine in the country.  Two are in Greece.  We have called them.  One we do not know where they are but we put out an inter-Ministry call to have them brought here.  Are these all the suspects?"

"We narrowed it down to fifty, now we're narrowing it further to our thieves," Tony said plainly.  "Yes, it's that bad."

"Anytime Gringotts has a 'case' we know it is.  How much was stolen?"

Willow stared at him then moved closer.  "Someone found a way to warp a few vaults to open.  Including Dumass's work vault."  He went whiter and leaned on the door.  "Hence us working so fast this time."

"I will have them sped up," he promised.  He nodded at Tony.  "Your Great Aunt would like a visit."

"When I'm done.  After this investigation is over with."

"Agreed.  I shall tell her this must take priority over family meetings."  He ran off to do that, babbling at his boss.

Willow sat down again.  "I feel better now.  I haven't gotten to threaten any vampires in weeks," she said perkily.  Both men looked at her.  "Someone's got to hunt in Miami."

"Does Horatio know?" Tony asked.  She shrugged.  He sent a thought to Speed, who looked at Horatio where they were waiting to be sent to their assignments.

"Did you know Willow's hunting?"

"No, I hadn't," he admitted quietly.  He pulled out his cellphone and called Ryan.  "Did you know she's still hunting?"  He heard the quiet muttering.  "Thank you."  He hung up.  "Tell Tony to expect a shock."

Speed sent that back.  Tony looked at her, then she yelped and put the fire out on her ass.  "Ah," Tony said fondly.  "I don't think Ryan likes that idea, Willow."

"That's great range.  Where is he?" Gibbs asked.

"Gdansk.  That's where the Russian Ministry is," Tony told him.  "Good range."

Willow glared at him.  "I'll get him back later."

Tony snorted.  "I'm sure he'll be watching for it."  Someone walked in and he lifted his chin.  "Sit!" he snapped.  They sat and glared at him.  "You are here to answer questions.  You will answer their questions.  I suggest you cast a language charm since they're more fluent in American."

The wizard slowly cast a language charm.

Willow looked at him.  "His signature is close but not quite to one of the ones on the vault," she noted.

"Does that mean I'm not a suspect?"

"That means you're more of a suspect," Tony assured him.

Gibbs leaned forward.  "Tell me what you know of vault 5483," he said quietly.  The man's eyes went wide and he slowly shook his head.  "Now."

"Nothing.  I know nothing."

"That's a really good impersonation of that show, but not good enough," Tony said, taking the folder from the auror.  "You are a suspect in a Gringotts break-in," he noted.  "You are here because you have three of the skills that were used."  The man's eyes went wide.  "I would answer their questions.  Gringotts called in nature paths to help."

The man sneered and Willow reached over to smack his head into the table, leaning over to hiss in his ear.  "I am Rosenburg," she growled.  The man started to cry.  "You know something about this. I can tell."

"It is not me.  It is my younger brother," he said, looking at them.  He looked at Willow.  "My younger brother is anti-Gringotts.  He thinks they have too much power."  He looked at Tony.  "He has been doing research, using our basement to make vaults to test on."

"You will stay here, we will go see these soon," Gibbs agreed.  He nodded his head.  He looked at Willow.  "Was he lying?"

"Not that I could tell," she noted, putting the lying stone in front of him.  "Say it again?"

"I had nothing to do with the vaults being broken into," he vowed. The stone stayed pale cream.  "I am at the inquest's honor."  He got up.  "May I wait in another room?"

"You are to contact no one," Tony told him.  He nodded.  "He is to wait on us.  He has information and is giving us a lead," he called.  The aurors came to lead him off to sit in a corner.

Gibbs looked at her.  "Don't announce that."

"Sorry."  She looked at him and then stood up.  "Change places with me."  He did that.  She sat between the two men.  "One tap, they match the signature.  Two they don't."  She tapped his shoulder.  He nodded at that.  "Good enough?"

"Good enough."  He looked outside.  "Next."  She was brought in sneering.  "Sit," he snarled.  She took her seat regally.

Tony looked at her.  "I wouldn't start with the 'tude, sister.  You're here because people with your skills have been targeting Gringotts."  She gaped.  "We are here to determine if you were one of them."  She closed her mouth with a snap.

"At this point it's just an inquest," Gibbs assured her casually.

"I had nothing to do with this action.  I had no knowledge of it," she said.  Willow tapped the stone and she sniffed.  "That is not *real* magic."

"I nearly destroyed the world once.  Bet me," she shot back.  The witch looked horrified.  "They wanted people with the power.  Now, were you involved?"

"No."  She looked at the stone.  "I have only heard rumors."  The stone grayed.  "But I know the source."  The stone went back to cream.

"You will share these rumors and the sources," Tony said, sliding down paper and a quill and ink pot that had been on the table.

"Otherwise we can find you complicit," Gibbs assured her.  She shuddered and started to write.  "In English if you know it."  She nodded, doing that.  "Thank you."  He looked at her. "Do you often just proclaim who you are?"

"Yup.  Cuts the level of shit I get," she noted dryly. "The same as all you have to do is say your name in DC and people piss themselves," she quipped.  He smirked at that.  She looked a the witch.  "Is that the current hot fashion in Italy this year?  It looks so much more comfortable than the ones in London."

The witch looked at her.  "You know about the fashions in London?"  Willow nodded.  "How?"

"My ex is living with some witches in the countryside and a friend is one of you."

She frowned at her.  "That show, the one that someone was bragging about seeing and it being false.  It was real?"

"It was," she agreed.  "Buffy shared with someone she shouldn't have."  She smiled.  "We had the uncomfortable realization that we had a wizard among us after the fact really."

"Who?"

"Dumass.  That's where he grew up again," Gibbs said dryly.  She stopped writing and the quill fell.  "Also known as Xander Harris."  She burst out laughing.

"He didn't have access to his powers," Willow said dryly.  "He survived seventeen years with us."  She let out a small whimper.  The stone turned dark.  "Not seventeen?"  She counted.  "He was five, and eighteen.  Sorry, thirteen.  He comes back and now and then though."  The stone went back to cream.  The witch's mouth hung open.  "Exactly."

"How?"

"We're not really sure if it was magic, dumb luck, or what," she admitted.  "Personal opinion, a combination, heavily resting on dumb luck with the way they locked him.  He only got a broken arm that I know about.  A lot of bruises, some head injuries, but only one broken arm."

The witch shook her head and went back to writing. "I wish him luck.  Is he back to his whoring ways?"

"No, he's got a consort veela mate," Tony told her.  "Draco's very good for him."  She burst out laughing.  He smirked.  "And he's teaching some who got missed thanks to New York's academy.  Write."

She went back to it.  "Only having one mate.  How the mighty have fallen, even if it is a veela."

"Draco Malfoy-Dumass more than keeps up with him," she assured her.

She burst out laughing and nearly fell out of her chair.  "Oh, my!" she said, wiping her eyes.  "Thank you.  I wish you the most luck," she offered, pushing the paper back to them.  "May I go?"

Gibbs looked it over.  "If we need you again, we'll call you back."  She nodded and left, bursting into giggles outside.

***

Ryan finished casting at Willow and glared at the man with him.  McGee gave him a scared look.  "My puppy is still hunting," he said grimly.  "I just set her ass on fire."

"Oooh," he said, wincing.  "We'll let you two fight in private tonight," he promised, smiling at him.  He grinned at the guard in front of him.  "Gringotts sent us to the aurors.  It's an inquest," he said through his translator charm.  "Where is the office?"

"Upstairs, on the second floor," he said promptly.  "May I register your wand?"  He handed it over.  "The others?"

"I'm not a cursebreaker," McGee said dryly. He pulled his credentials, getting wide eyes. "They asked for my help."

"Your associate?  He is also a government agent?"

"CSI," Ryan said, staring him down.  "And nature path, chaos branch."  The man shuddered and backed up. "Where on the second floor?"

"Third door on the left," he said, handing McGee back his wand.  "Thank you for not practicing in here."

"Not on you. You haven't earned my attention."  He led the way to the stairs.  "Have you noticed that we're either feared or thought of as unnatural?"

"Chaos people?  I guess it makes sense," McGee offered.

"No, nature paths in general."

"That's a long held discrimination among the wizarding world.  They see you guys as inferior or as unnatural.  It's another part of 'to the winners go the task of writing history'.  We survived more openly and the various nature path religions and cults didn't do so openly. Even though some of you are stronger, and usually more dangerous, it's seen that way because you guys don't have standardized education and standards of conduct."  He opened the right door and walked in. "Aurors?" he asked.  They nodded.  "Gringotts asked for our help in an inquest about Case 3.  Here is our suspect list to compel and summon. Here is the Ministry warrant," he said, presenting it.  "I and my associate will be questioning them here."

"You are?"

"Special Agent McGee, NCIS."  They gaped.  "Trained in Chicago.  This is CSI Wolfe, from Miami."

"He is one of us?"

"No, I'm one of the other sort that was working with your sort to break into vaults," Ryan told him dryly.  "And I have been since I was fourteen."  That got some nods and they went to prepare a room.  He looked at the officer working with them.  "I'm sensing that some of us worked for the old government?"

"Indeed.  They were big in the KGB.  Many were scared of your type."

Ryan smiled.  "I'm a chaos as natural path person."

"Even worse.  Your type made some of us disappear."

"I promise not to today," he offered with a small smile.  "This is only the questioning phase."

He closed the door on the room they would be questioning in.  "What was taken?"

"A number of vaults were broken into," McGee offered. "Including a few work vaults of cursebreakers.  Dumass is heading the investigation."  That got a moan.  "You know Alexx?"

"How old is he now?"

"Twenty-three," Ryan offered.  The wizard looked confused.

"The curse that hit him deaged him back to five," McGee offered.  "He regrew on the Boca hellmouth without his powers.  They were locked by Dumbledore."  The wizard shuddered and wrapped his arms around himself.  "He got them back before the war so he could help."

"He's not happy at the moment.  This investigation is taking him away from his consort," Ryan offered.  The man gave him a horrified look.  "Consort veela, Draco Malfoy- Dumass."

The man bowed his head and muttered a prayer, then nodded.  "I understand how serious this is.  Anytime he is called to see something or to fix a situation it is bad.  This time?"

"His work vault was one," Ryan agreed.

The wizard nodded, taking the list to summon them. They had rogue artifacts in the country and it was a bad thing.  He looked at his boss.  "Gringotts has a Case 3. Dumass is in charge of the investigation."  His boss's eyes went wide and he started to cross himself.  "Work vaults were broken into.  Including his."  He handed over the list.  "They need these people."

"I will get them."  He went to send aurors out to personally get them and then warn his counterparts so they wouldn't have to spend too much time hunting people down.

***

Alex strolled into Britain's ministry, waving at the guy at the desk.  "Gringott's business."

"Why?" the guard asked.

"Case 3.  I'm in charge.  Chief auror in?"

"Yes, but can you send Miss Rosenburg to some other country, just in case?"  He looked at him.  "I will beg.  We don't need the panic attacks today."

"You do it so prettily," Alex teased, getting a snicker.  He looked at Willow.  "Going bye- bye.  Go see...Tony."  He sent her off with a flick of his wand.  Horatio walked in behind him.  "Better?"

"Much, thank you.  Anyone else?"

"No, Don, Speed, and Mac are doing Paris.  Stella and Calleigh are doing Brazil.  Danny's doing Germany."  He shrugged and headed to the elevator.  "Going down."  He hit the right button and leaned on the cage.  "They're going to freak.  I'll warn you now."

"Why?"

"I'm the big guns that Gringotts calls out in emergencies and other bad things."  They landed and he walked out, leading to the nice door up the hall.  He slammed the door open and strode in.  "It's a bad thing," he announced.  "I need auror support for retrieval and questioning."  The aurors all stared in horror.  "For Case 3."  Most of them scrambled to get the list and find people.  "Thank you.  This is Lieutenant Horatio Caine, trained in New York.  He's doing the questioning, I'm here for morale and scary support.  I'll be reading various scary books to make them sorry as hell."  That got some nods.  "Room?  Tea? Horatio, tea?"

"Water please," he offered, following the one who was leading them to an interrogation room.  "Do you often make such announcements?"

"We prefer when he does," the head auror said as she walked in with tea and water.  "Cold and warming charms already applied," she offered.  She looked at Horatio.  "The last time he came up on a case like this, Merlin's Storehouse in Stonehenge had been broken into and looted.  His apprentices found it.  The time before that, we had an escaping demon thinking he was a demi-god loose in the building.  They only send him for the *bad* things," she told him.  "Him announcing it means we don't have to worry what it is this time."

"Ah."  He sipped his water and pulled out his warrant to hand it over.  She read it and nodded, handing it back.  "How long do you think it'll be?"

"Ten, twenty minutes."

Xander grinned.  "Then I'm popping to the bookstore for my order.  Be right back."  He disappeared from right there.

"I want to know how he does that," she said grimly.  "No one else can apparate from inside the Ministry."

"He proved he does a lot of theoretical things," he offered cautiously.

"We figured that out when he got the camp moving spell to work.  Also when he got the Bernuli realm theorem to make sense and then made it work."  She sat down.  "What got broken into?"

"Some work vaults and other ones," he admitted.  "Including his."  She went pale and wobbled.  "Are you all right?"

"Demonic?" she asked hopefully.

"Mostly."  She sighed and moaned, going to make that report.  She came back.  "We're asking the people who can do what was needed to narrow down the fifty to the six or seven we need."

"What would they have that we can search with?"

Alex reappeared with a stack of books and handed her something.  "The detector.  Their keys used things from out of time.  That's wandless and not."

"I understand.  What's the range?  And did you know how much trouble you nearly got Harry into?"  Alex raised an eyebrow.  "He was seen grabbing his arm during a practice.  He had to out that he's a Bane."

"Yes, he is.  Especially to Abby's concentration," he noted dryly.  She giggled at that.  "Abby is the dark haired young gothic woman he's been seen with."

"She is adorable.  A bit older but adorable."

"He doesn't stutter and terminally blush with her.  The aunts are *all* pleased."  She smiled at that. "Go find them.  Search the estates on the list then send that to Italy."

She nodded.  "Should we worry?"

"There's no evidence that they've released anything.  They could be collecting and coveting.  They could be planning to use things.  They stole gold, gems, and artifacts.  All from the same tier of vaults.  Which aren't sequentially numbered.  They skipped from one to the other, not in a row.  They knew what they were hitting."  She nodded.  "Go, search. Any word on Narcissa?"

"We've checked into it and we think it may have been hijacked but we can't tell where or by who yet. We're working on it, Alex.  Has anyone sent a ransom note?"  He shook his head.  "No contact?"

"Not a bit," he admitted.  "Not unless Draco's keeping it from me."

"We'll make sure."  She looked at the list.  "The twins....  Well, I suppose you wouldn't suspect them."

"Their wife would kill them horribly," he noted dryly.  "None of the other Banes are on there either.  Tipsy and the Prof could tel if someone did that.  I already had him check, no go on any of us.  It narrowed down the list by about ten people."

"We noticed you had crossed some off," Horatio agreed, looking at him.

"Nine Banes and a dead person," he agreed dryly.  "She died before this started.  She was one of us."

"That's fine.  Those sort of weeding out had to be done by a member of the group," he agreed. "Think we can get a game in since you have us covered for a week?"

"If we get done before the week's done."

"That's a good incentive," he decided.  He looked at him.  "What do you think about me and the trio?"

"I suggested they include you," he said gently, patting him on the back.  Their first person was walked in and he pulled up his first book.  "This is Lieutenant Caine.  He is doing an inquest for Gringotts.  You'll answer him or I get to prove why I'm the head of this inquest."  He flipped to the section he wanted and got to work.  "Go ahead, Horatio."

Horatio looked at the young witch.  "Miss Granger.  There have been a number of vaults broken into at the bank," he said, watching as she sat down.  "You have the knowledge and skills to have taken part."

"But that's not a surety that I did.  I've always been one of the ones who helped Harry and Ron."

Alex looked at her and she shuddered.  "In this case, it was work vaults.  Possibly a collector, possibly not."  She went pale.  "Including mine."  She went tense.  "Now, you do have the skills.  You also are known to be a sharer, especially of your research.  You're also known to be lax with your research materials at times."

She shook her head.  "I've kept it locked when I could," she assured them, looking at Horatio.  "What areas?"

He pulled out a folder and flipped it open.  "Power warping, theoretical magic, distance, time, and space studies, magical math, portals and transport magic, and theoretical charms."  He flipped it closed and looked at her.  "All of which you've shown an interest and asked the bank to let you look at books on.  That's why you're included."

She shook her head slowly.  "My interest was for a medical charm to...to bring a patient back so you could have more time.  Not this.  Magical math?"

"Arithmancy is the lower levels of that," Alex noted.  "In my years, it was your third, fourth, and fifth years, then you went onto the higher magical maths and theoretical in your seventh year if you got into the advanced seventh year class instead of the regular one."  He glanced at her again.  "That theorem you were working with for that?   Magical math.  Anything quantum or calculus and above would be."

She shuddered at that thought.  "I don't deal in that.  I passed Arithmancy with top honors.  I took the highest NEWT in it.  I never got higher and the teacher only hinted at the higher maths.  She taught us how to solve a few types of equations that she said were outside of arithmancy itself but nothing further."

Alex opened a book and pushed it toward her.  "You're looking at this sort of formula for portal magic, Hermione."

She looked and traced it with her finger.  "I don't even ...know how to solve this," she admitted, looking at him again.

"Do you know anyone who would?" Horatio asked.

She considered it, then nodded.  "Let me see if they're on your list.  If not, I'll gladly name names.  He's a genius and he's got students working for him during the summers.  I worked for him my post-graduate summer.  It's incredibly easy to get into his research."  Horatio handed over the list.  She tapped a name.  "Him.  I would dare say that if it wasn't him, it would be one of his students who took something of his.  He was working on theoretical realm shifts the summer I worked with him.  Trying to travel to other ones to see if the elves in the Tolkein books exist or not."

Alex looked at the name, then at her.  "He's still alive?"  She nodded.  "I went to school with him."  She let out a small smile. "He was weird then."  He looked at Horatio.  "The other fields.  Any names pop out at you from the checkout cards?"

"Draco's."  He grimaced.   "I know he isn't but still.  Um, Perdry Lemongrass?"

"We have her on our list as well," Horatio agreed. She took it back and stared at it, then took out a pencil and made notations, handing it back.  "You know others in your fields already?"

"I work in the archives," she said blandly, staring him down.  "Those are who I've seen repeatedly in those sections."  She stood up.  "If I can be of any more help, let me know, Alex.  And where might Harry be?"

He looked up then at her.  "In bed. He's got late practice since his next game is a night game."

"Oh."  She pouted.  "Think you could make him come in for tea with his girlfriend so I can meet her?"

"Send an owl," he told her dryly.  She smiled and nodded, walking off.  He looked at Horatio.  "Their best friend.  Remind you of Willow?"

"A lot," he agreed, looking at the list. "Who's next?"

"Professor Sinastra."

"Teaches arithmancy," Alex told him, going back to his reading.  "She's on the list?"

"No but she'll have an idea of who could do the work," the auror suggested.  "It could weed down your list some."

Alex looked back at him.  "We think they had brains and doers in this case.  Five doers and one or two at home."

He nodded.  "We figured as much but the brains are often easier to trick or break into a confession, Alex.  Let me bring in the professor."  He went to get her and bring her in.  "They had some questions, Professor."

"He thinks you can weed down our lists," Horatio agreed.  "Professor, who on this list," he said, handing over the main list, "can do magical math?"

She blinked.  "We're talking the higher levels?"  Alex put a book in front of her and whimpered.  She looked at the list and pointed at three names. "They could.  Professor Airdale wouldn't though.  One of his students would be more than capable of tricking him to get his help or to steal his research.  We've all worried about the old coot."

Alex nodded. "He was weird in school.  Any students you placed with him that come to mind?"

"I saw Miss Granger.  Beyond her?"  She considered it, looking at the list again, then she suddenly sat up straighter.  "Miss Lemongrass has a cousin in Italy and she told me once that she was working on something that had to do with portals.  She said she and the professor were talking now and then.  She was going to Venice when she graduated, a year behind her, so she'd have been in Miss Granger's year.   Um, there was one out of the school in Kenya as well.  Also one out of the school in Cuba if I remember right.  There were some students with minor skills coming out of the schools you would expect - China, Japan, India's school up by the Burmese boundary.  Not the main one but the small, private academy.  There was one in Brazil."  She looked at Horatio.  "Have you looked at the Magical Math and Arithmancy Competition lists?"

"That wasn't my area, mine was charms," he admitted.  "Can you tell me about this competition?"

"It's held every four years anymore.  Not enough geniuses who get to this level anymore.  In Alex's day it was widely taught but we've had to dumb down the curriculum due to the dumbing down of the students and lowering expectations.  The only one who teaches magical math in the Empire is the Deares Academy in Canada."

Alex looked at her.  "That's exclusive, only admits twenty students a year, total, and each year the students have to fight against the new ones for spots.  Even a year there guarantees you a spot in one of the universities."  She nodded at that.  "I thought Hildegarde was."

"She is, but like me anymore.  She teaches some limited equations but not the full subject."

"All right," Horatio agreed.  "Where would we go to look up this competition and who was in it?"

"Professor Airdale was one of the judges and scholars overlooking the formulas this year.  You'll be talking to him anyway about his students so I would probably ask him.  He's in Derry at the moment I think.  Somehow he moves his house every decade.  If he doesn't know who did the math, he'll know who to see from the competition.  I'm happy when one of my students makes it to cleaning his chalkboard for a summer, like Miss Granger did.  I would definitely talk to the Lemongrass girl's cousin in Italy however."

"Thank you.  I'll make note of both those suggestions.  Any other names that pop out?"

She considered it.  "Draco has a cousin, who has a son and an illegitimate son.  The illegitimate son is said to be very bright and slightly evil.  The only problem with that was he's a sixth year this year I believe and he's at the Hildegarde academy.  He has been for the last two years, transferred from Drumstrang," she admitted.  "His family's hiding him."

"We'll be checking with him," Horatio agreed. "Thank you."  He added the notation to the list.

"I do hope you find who did it.  What was stolen this time?  I was told it was a Case."

"They broke into some of the work vaults," Alex admitted.  "Including mine."

"Oh, dear Merlin," she whispered.  She swallowed.  "I'll put Father Philip on alert, Alex.  Thank you for the warning."  She hurried off, going back to the school to report to her headmaster immediately.

"Did anyone find out where Airdale is living this decade?" Alex called.

"Derry.  He's about to move.  You want the first suspect?"

"Please."  He sipped his tea and went back to his reading.  "It was a nice thing to find out."

"It was.  It gave us a definitive source.  How bad is he?"

"For me to say someone's weird, Horatio, that's saying something," he noted.  He looked at him over the top of his book.  "That's like you saying someone's a good criminalist."

Horatio quirked a small smile.  "Fine.  Should I expect Legolas?"

"No, he was always more into the hobbits really.  I think he wanted to date Pippin or something."  Someone cleared their throats.  "Get in here."  They were walked in and sat down.  "You will answer Lieutenant Caine.  This is a Gringott's matter."  He looked at them. "Or else."  He went back to his reading.

The witch stuttered, looking at the lieutenant.  "What's going on?  I didn't think I overdrew my account and this seems a bit much for that I would hope."

Horatio looked at the notes Hermione had made.  "You've been studying portal magic for how many years?"

"Um, twenty, nearly," she said, looking confused.  "Why?"

"Someone has been using them inside the bank."  She shook her head.  "No?"

"That's impossible.  Goblin magic and their portals aren't what I study.  I'm studying things like the camp moving spell."  Alex flicked his wand in a circle and she moved ten feet.  "You made it work!" she said, standing up and glaring at him. "How dare you!"

"I've had it working since I was twenty-six," Alex said blandly, turning the page.  "Why do you think Gringotts sends me to handle the really bad shit.  Sit down!"  She sat suddenly, staring at them.  "Answer the questions."

"Yes, um, you are?"

"Dumass."

"Oh, shite."  She blinked at Horatio.  "This is really serious?  Not a prank?"  Horatio shook his head.  Her lower lip trembled.  "I didn't do anything to the bank. I swear it.  I like the bank.  They've given me numerous loans so I could keep up my research and not have to work."

"Has anyone approached you about these sort of portals?" Horatio asked her. She shook her head quickly.  "No one's shown interest in your work recently, even other academics?"

"No.  If I may ask, how did you make it work?" she asked.  He pulled a book out and held it up.  "I... I've read that in a different author's hand."  She made note of the title and author.  "Is it hard to find?"

"Nope.  Obsolete textbooks.  Pay attention to Horatio."

"Yes, sir."  She looked at him again. "I'm sorry.  I would *never* harm the bank. They've been good to me."

"Not even if the thieves promised you money to continue your research?"

She shook her head. "Last year I came into an inheritance when my husband shot himself.  I don't need it. I paid off my last loan from the proceeds and I'm living comfortably now."

"Why weren't you before?" Horatio asked.

"He was working fairly hard here at the Ministry and I was only doing research.  When he offed himself, I got his insurance and pension.  Plus I sold our house to move somewhere smaller.  For just me it's enough.  With both of us it wasn't.  I don't know how someone like Arthur Weasley made due with a family on Ministry paychecks."

Horatio nodded.  "Can you think of anyone who has an interest or is working in this field?"

"Ask Professor Airdale.  That would take a lot of math.  That's what's holding me back."  She stood up.  "Can I go?"  Horatio nodded.

"We'll come back to you if we have more questions," Alex noted patiently.  She nodded and hurried out.  "That was a lie.  She does know someone."

"I gathered that as well," Horatio agreed, looking at him.  "Are all those relating?"  Alex smirked and nodded.  "Because you can do all this, can't you?"  He smirked harder and nodded again.  "How well?"

"I know exactly how they pulled it off.  That's why I called for who I did.  They would've had to used a computer to acquire targets and do the formulas.  I do and I know this stuff backward and forward.  Hold on," he called at the sound of footsteps.  "The portal magic would require someone who was fluent in Bassinggil.  What they did was they headed down to a vault, with a faked key most likely, and transported through time to do it.  That way the key was fresh.  I'm fairly sure the keys are either here or Italy.  The brains are here or Italy.  That's why I sent the people with the skills I did there.  The thieves themselves are either in Paris, Russia, or Germany.  With Don, Speed, and Mac, they can handle the thieves there.  Speed can tell who was using the wandless if they run into them.  If they're in Russia, Ryan can.  If they're in Italy, Tony or Willow can.  If they're in Germany, Danny can and I think the cursebreaker is there.

"I got you because you do know charms; you and Danny had the theoretical charm already worked out.  Ryan helped with the shielding and Willow with the math.  Don's a curse breaker, I needed a second one in the group.  Mac and Gibbs are Marines.  If we have to go in as an action, we have that end covered with you guys backing them up.  Mac does know magical assault patterns as well.  The quad wouldn't come without Stella and I was pretty sure her transfiguration lessons might've come in handy somehow.  I could've have been sure but they wouldn't have left her anyway.  Calleigh was a bonus.  Ryan said she needed a vacation."  He went back to his reading.  "If it wasn't for you guys, I'd have asked Greggy to come and the twins to help but that wouldn't have gotten me the high-end thinking that you guys did, which was what we needed.  Because even though I know how it was done, I can't prove it without busting myself for being a theory person and if I do that then Gringotts has vowed to lock me away from humanity forever because they know I know too much already.  That's why they send me on these things, because I know how they did it."

"So, it's a matter of giving us the clues we needed and then us figuring out which ones it was while you sit there and go 'that's impossible' now and then?"

"Yup.  The theory I just worked out, it'll be an opening charm that only two types of locks can't defeat.  If that gets out, there's no tomb really safe and they'll have to up the quality of locks in the newer ones.  That's why cursebreakers will be swearing my name for generations to come. Gringotts is worried that I'll end up like Airdale, people will come and take my research.  It wouldn't be the first time someone had and screwed themselves royally by doing so because Airdale always leaves a step unwritten in his equations.  In this case, it'll be better because we can stop this knowledge from getting out.  Because I'm guessing, but I think they merged the whole process into one or two charms.  One to capture the key and load it onto their fake key, one to do the breaking."

"So, we're looking for the brains?"

"Yeah, we're looking for the brains.  We have one good suggestion in the Lemongrass cousin.  There's one other here.  The only places to learn magical math that way are here, at Hildengarde, or there with the Venetian teacher over math.  Now, having said that, some people do pick it up independently, like Hermione, Tony, and Danny.  Though, I'd never take a class from her.  She nags and she's pushy according to Harry.  Nagged them into studying all the time."

"So, if you and Danny had a child," he taunted.

Alex looked at him. "They'd be doing this work.  Why do you think Gringotts got so excited when I took on a new apprentice.  Each of my apprentices are special in some way. Bill's got a great hand at Runes. We all have to know some but he's figured out clues on walls that others bypassed.  Harry, well, Harry's a power person.  He's drawn to power sources, power flows.  Anytime I'm looking for how a trap is powered, I let him go.  Ron, he's great at defensive traps.  Some year, he's going to be the guy teaching how these traps are created, magically and not.  Draco's a potions person.  Something we need desperately in the field, but he's also got the alchemy mindset.  He's identified some chemical notations on some of what we've found that I would've bypassed because I suck at potions.  Don's got this 'how does this work' curiosity but I think he's also got a pretty strong affinity for wrongness.  That feeling that something's wrong.  When I die, it'll be them who'll break my storehouses down, together, as a team."

"Dawn?"

"Ron's wife and pretty decent at power and transformation.  She sees power flows.  Like pretty ribbony hallucinations in front of her when she turns it on.  That's part of being who she is. She'd have either joined me in the field or gone into research and that's boring so she hates it."

Horatio smirked.  "So why add Danny?"

"Because Danny's great at theory.  Speed's a theory person but in different areas.  Danny's got my areas plus potions knowledge.  He's like a kid between Draco and I.  Tony can do most of it as well.  Those three, if they put their mind to it, could possibly be my equal.  Speed leading and Danny doing the practical while Tony does the stranger research.  They've got the affinity to work together.  Adding you in gives them some extra stability.  Stella and Mac give Danny stability but you would stabilize the whole group.  By the way, I'm still working on Danny's blood curse.  There's some written on those but not much.  Then again, I started in the field when we had to build everything ourselves, including half our charms."

"That's fine.  Putting them together to work on Dawn's training...."

Alex smirked evilly.  "You just read my mind. Into occulmencary?"

"Not really.  We're done," he called.  "Bring them."  The next person was brought in and he went over the questions in the back of his mind while he worked on this.

***

The group met together again to compare notes.  Horatio looked at Alex, who shrugged.  "Did anyone realize that Alex is a theory person behind a lot of the cursebreaking spells?" he asked.

"Yup, read a few of his books," Speed admitted. "Read the new one last night.  Was pretty good but it'd make just about anybody eligible for the field."

Alex shook his head. "There's more to the field than being able to break a lock charm.  Then again, it's not that hard.  When I started, it was a 'build your own charms' field.  That's why the sensing and other spells are individual and then there's the Gringotts way which is newer."

"So, you knew how they did this?" Don asked.  Alex nodded. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because if I let out that I know some of this stuff, I'm going to end up in a seclusion vault for the rest of my very short life."

"Oh.  Why do I want to be in the field again?"

"Don, I spent about a third of my time on my ass injured.  I had to do something so I wouldn't go insane with boredom.  I picked you because you've got affinities that work well and enhance your natural skills."  He looked confused.  "Like being able to tell that the vault was open, even though it wasn't physically open.  That's being able to sense a wrongness.  Between that and your natural curiosity?  It'll keep you safe and alive for decades to come.  It'll probably also save your life at your real job.  The best curse breakers don't work for the bank, they're using their skills in other ways and expanding the field.  Plus doing research.  The same way Greggy is, and Speed is."

"Oh."  He considered that.  "Then what about Dawnie?"

"I want those three to take over Dawn's education."  The trio stared at him, shaking their heads as one.  He looked at them and smirked evilly.  "I will shift the libraries out of phase and reality. For you guys it'll be about twenty-six months.  For us it'll be three days."  They moaned as one.  "With who and what Dawn is, I need her that trained and you guys gathered all the skills.  I can't be the teacher she needs. She's my sister.  I'm biased on both ends at times.  The three of you managed what I did in sixty years."

"We went out of phase and reality plenty of times," Speed noted.  Alex grinned at that.  "It's easier that way.  No one interrupts you in the middle of reading."

"True," Alex agreed.  "It took me until I was forty to work out how to do that though."  They smiled at that.  "Yeah, I know, the book came out that year."  He gave them a look. "Besides, sometimes I want to be twenty-three and spoil my husband rotten.  There's not too many points left on my 'I'd come just from seeing these places' list. Malgadesh was my next to last and the last one is supposedly mythical."

"Supposedly?" Danny asked.

"Aphrodite's Temple."  He moaned.  "Yeah.  That's my last on my wish list.  Plus, hey, they don't know if this is going to extend my life or not."

"Okay," Gibbs admitted. "So I'd be without Tony for how long?"

"Probably a full week, give him time to readjust to being back here and to file his own library again."  He nodded at Don. "I'd even let you take this one if you could talk him into it. He's still behind, even after another quick-learning session because he's not practicing."

"Lock him in a vault, see how long it takes him to get out," Gibbs offered.

"They're airtight," Don complained.  "I don't hate you that much."

"Didn't know that, Don.  Sorry."

Calleigh looked at him.  "You can take them out of reality and space?"  Alex and Speed both nodded.  "How?"

"It's really difficult, bordering on dark magic because it could be used very wrongly, and it's dangerous," Speed told her.

"I slipped a week once but I felt really sick," Willow admitted.

"That's because you didn't balance it out and you went to where you were.  I'm not taking them back in time so they can meet and screw themselves, I'm taking them out of reality, turning it into a pocket universe for a few days our time."  He looked at them.  "No holds barred, whatever she needs.  Whoever you want in there out of the group.  You can have any of the other junior curse breakers or Bill too if you want, because I will have him stolen for this."

"Damn it, I hate the carrot and the stick this time," Speed muttered.  "Tempting."

"Yeah, because someone's got to.  I'm feeling the suffocation of the seclusion vault already."

Tony looked at him.  "But..."  Alex smirked and winked.  "Point."  He looked at the others.  "We'll talk about it later."

"Of course. How far did we narrow this down?"

"We have ten possible thieves and I took samples of the ones I did," Danny admitted.

"Us too," McGee said, handing over their swabs to the pile in front of Stella.

"We found one mastermind," Tony agreed.  "The clue about the Lemongrass child wasn't quite it.  It was her boyfriend.  He was sponging off her research and doing what he understood of it.  He's a charms person, she's a magical math person."

Gibbs nodded.  "We also found the reason behind them.  You guys?"

"We found where they got their research on our side but there's a few suspects from there," Horatio admitted. "Including Miss Granger.  I'm not going to rule her out.  She had access and she hates that these things are being so confined.  She's a knowledge person and feels that they're being hidden if I read her right."

"And she'd be right," Alex agreed.  "There's some very uncomfortable and unfortunate truths in those vaults.  The other reason they don't really want to confine me.  Because some of mine will come open and then they're fucked," he said quietly.  That got some smirks.  "No one ever said I wasn't vindictive.  Because I am."  He tapped the list.  "So, tomorrow?"  They nodded.  "Do we have the charms in our possession?  If not, this is the night they'll try it."

"We don't," Gibbs told him.  "You guys?"

"No.  We know how, we know that they may have merged them from individual, necessary ones into simpler single ones."

"That in itself means that someone's got brains for charms," Danny agreed thoughtfully.  "Crap, that can take months.  Is the boyfriend that good?"

"No," Tony said, grimacing.  "He followed the instructions in her research.  Someone else put it together, which is why I think there's a mastermind behind the casters.  The mastermind worked it out, picked the targets.  They cast it, the thieves go in, the thieves come out, the spell ends.  The mastermind pays them royalties."  He leaned on the table.  "Where would we set up to watch them, Alex?"

"They've been going through Paris because it's the main European branch.  Can we set up inside their parts of the tunnels?" Mac asked. "I'm assuming they've got some of their own."

"They do," Alex agreed.  "We can set up there and have a patrol on that shelf.  We're going to have them already out of time though.  Probably before they walk into the bank."  That got some nods.  "So we'll all have to do the same."

"Sure," Danny agreed, nodding.  "We can do that for the group, then put them into place.  Put an ending clause on it."  Speed nodded that he could help him with that.  "What would we need for supplies?"

"Water and food," Alex offered.  "It shouldn't take that long but it's nearly dinner and we'd better hurry up.  Paris is closing in another hour."  They broke up and went to make the plans while he gathered something.  Then he helped cast the spell.  Speed caught his eye and he winked at him.  "It'll be fine.  We can do this."  They all nodded and phased out by the time the goblin came in to check on them again.

***

Alex watched the guys come in, smiling that he was right, they did have to have the casters with them.  He froze the group and sucked out their memories with the device in his hand, then called the others.  "Got 'em!"  He put the device into his pocket.  The others hurried up to get them. "Do we go back to the mastermind?"

"We do," Gibbs agreed.  "Because it won't stop and he'll go higher next time.  Could he feel this?"

"Unless they're in synch with us, no."  That got an evil smirk from Tony.  "Truth."  He got the last one down and cuffed.  "Make the plan, Mac."  Mac deployed them then cast the reverse that they had built into their portkeys, dragging them to the Mastermind's home, landing back in Venice.  "I hate this city," he muttered as he followed them upstairs.  He paused to inhale the memories and make them his own, then caught up with the group.  They found her waiting upstairs and Tony growled.  "Easy."

"No!"  He stomped over and turned his great aunt around. "How could you disgrace the family this way!" he demanded.  She looked offended.  "Don't even!  We're on the inquest.  Congratulations.  You wanted to see me?"

"Not like this, Anthony."  She stood up.

Mac froze her. "Fat chance I'm letting you hurt him, woman."  He used the key to summon the goblins, bringing them and other curse breakers running.  "We came to track the mastermind and found her."

They looked then one nodded. "Not the first time.  Report back to the rooming house while we clean up."

Danny pulled out the detector and waved it around.  "They're not here."

Alex tapped Don and pointed at something.  "What's that?"

"Clearly backwards.  I've seen that painting hundreds of times in books."  He walked over to the backward copy of the Mona Lisa and searched, coming up with the portal.  It opened and he looked at the detector.  It was flashing rapidly and starting to smoke.  "I take it this is it?"

"Yeah, drop it," Ryan warned.  Danny dropped it and Willow destroyed it.  "Well, we need heavier shielding next time," he told her.  She nodded.  "Let's gather them."

"We will," a goblin told him.

Alex looked at him. "Fat chance I trust you lot.  We found two of the younger ones involved."  They gave him horrified looks.  "I turned them in to Gruinth personally."  He looked around.  "Danny, blood curse?"

"Oh, yeah."  He looked around then went to find his father.  Don and Mac ghosted behind him.  He found him up in the family's suite/cell.  He tapped them walked in.  His mother gave him a horrified look.  "Yeah, I'm still living, even with that nasty little blood curse on me.  You might think about removing it unless you want the family name to die with me. Not like there's any Messers left in the wilds."

"No," his father said.  "You're weak."

"Is that why I've just been helping with an inquest through Gringotts?  Or why I'm a level two CSI?"  His father sneered.  "Yeah, I know, because I don't like violence, I'm weak.  Well...."  He pulled his wand and pointed it at him. "Crucio."  He screamed and writhed.  Danny canceled it.  "Still think so?" he asked dryly.  "Remove it.  Now.  Or else we'll let the next Vinese clean up the parts."

"I release you," he ground out.  "You are one of us."

"No thanks.  Like my life.  Like my boys.  Like fucking my boys really."  He shrugged and walked out, smirking at his mother's screams of fury that he was gay.   Don resealed the suite with a lock Alex had taught him and put an arm around his shoulders.  He grinned at him.  "Now all we've got to do is fully release it, which means I've got to be changed using the DNA changing spell because it'll drop off.  Wanna come when we train Dawnie?"

"Sure.  Mac, you mind?"

"No, not at all."  He smiled at Danny.  "The same as I'll understand if things happen while you're gone."  Danny smiled and nodded at that.  "Stella said she would too when we came up the stairs."  He patted them both on the back of the head.  "Have fun with that."

"Of course.  Now all we gotta do is figure out where Alex is going to show up next."

"Um," Don said.

Danny stopped him and looked at him.  "Do you really think they'll let the person who *knows* how they did it go?" he asked quietly.

"But he can get out... oh."  Danny smiled and nodded.  "He'll need his wand," he said quietly.

"Remember, he's a cursebreaker too," Danny pointed out.  He gave him a pinch on the arm. "Come on."  They headed back down.  "Done on that part, now we've got to do part two," he told Speed.  "We'll do it while we're with Dawnie in the library."  He looked around.  "They took Alex already?"

"Yup," Stella said, frowning greatly.

"He's got a plan," Gibbs said quietly.  "Trust Alex.  Remember, he's not really twenty- three, he's eight-seven."  She sighed and nodded, not liking that anyway.  "We've got to go back to the rooming house to write up whatever reports they want, then back to the castle, right?" They all nodded.  "Or straight to the castle?"

"Straight to the castle once we're packed," Danny offered. He played with his necklace, looking at them.  "Screw it.  The house elves can come."  He made the portkey and they all latched on, going back to home base.  He looked at one of the house elves.  "Me, go get our crap from the goblin's rooming house," he said, handing over the metal divot key.  "All our stuff."  She nodded and left.  He looked around then at Speed.  "Call to get Dawnie.  I'm sure they've got his stuff back."

"Probably."  He went to do that, finding her in the library.  "When did you get here?"

"When Alex called over the Bane marker to tell me to get here for my own safety.  By the way, Abby's upstairs."  She stood up.  "What is going on?"

"Alex asked us to train you and the goblins just turned on him," Speed offered quietly.  "He knew too much."

"Well, duh.  Most curse breakers don't make it past thirty-eight."  She looked over as Alex strolled in. "How did you get away so fast?"

He smirked.  "I'm evil like that.  I did what our suspects did and what you'll be doing later and created a small parallel universe for myself that had air, food, and all that good stuff, waiting until they realized I wasn't in there.  Then I phased out right as I came back across the boundary.  I even left it up there as a trap.  Then I casually walked out behind them, came out in Cairo's branch about three hours ago, and came back after doing some housekeeping duties.  Why?" he asked with a sweet smile.  "By the way, go pack."  She nodded, going to do that.  "You're going to have two years or so of training.  Get them some notebooks and stuff too."  She sighed and went to dig into that stash.  He looked at the others.  "Don't ever fuck with a cursebreaker, especially not the older ones.  It's just plain old stupid of them."  Someone tapped on his shoulder and he smiled back at their patron saint. "Hi.  Did I break untold natural laws again?"

"Well, yes, but not why I'm here."  He gave him a hug. "I'm so proud!  They're all screaming in fear as that parallel world starts to eat them and the seclusion vaults.  Plus the three things you released out of that one and the other books you released are going to cause a national panic."

"Then next time, don't fuck with me," he reminded him. He turned and gave him a real hug.  "No national panic.  Researchers will be swearing at me for years as they move to see if their ideas and my ideas work together. Some work and some don't.  I did that so they could be frustrated trying."  He beamed at Gibbs. "McGee's going to be one of them."  McGee moaned at that.  "The book on the electricity and computers versus magic?  It does work, all but three chapters."  He produced a copy and handed it over.  "Here you go.  Have fun."  He went up to his usual room to sit and read.

"Have I ever told you that you being mean is incredibly sexy?" Tony asked.

Alex shook his head.  "Nope.  But thanks."  He beamed at Horatio.  "Want to go for a fly?"

"That might be risky."

"Only if they want the wrath of god to bite them on the arse," Professor Armwrench assured him, disappearing.

"How can he do that and no one else can?" Calleigh asked.

"He's very powerful," Tony said, patting her on the back.  "Dawn, hurry up."  She came down the stairs with her dog, her boyfriend, and her school trunk.  He looked in the library.  The house elves had put cases of paper, quill, ink, food, drinks, and coffee, plus a coffee maker and a new bathroom off to the side.  "Cool.  Home sweet home.  Beds?"

"Six of the couches pull out," Dawn told him. "Who else is coming?"

Speed, Danny, Don, and Ryan came in.  Ron looked edgy.  "Ryan?" Speed asked patiently.

"There's stuff I can learn and you'll need help teaching my area.  You can't do chaos and neither can they but she can."

"Good point."

"He's the most controlled chaos person I've ever seen," Danny admitted.  Don nodded and shrugged, going to sit down. "Dawn?"

"If that's what I need."  She looked at Ron.  "If you're not here, I'm going to be with them for the next two years out of our time and space.  They would probably mind if I masturbate."

"Probably," he sighed, deciding then.  "Want the dog?"

"Will it age him any?"

"Nope," Ryan told her.  "Or us."

"Midnight."  He came running and Speed set the spell on their side, Alex doing it on the other.  The rest of the house grayed out.  It was like fog was filling the doorway.  She felt a wrench and then they were settled.  She looked at them.  "Okay, I'm doing what first?"

"First, pick a couch, help me set up the coffeemaker, and let's go over what you really know.  He said you've done some private research."

"Which could be very naughty," Danny agreed, smiling at her.

"Yes, sirs."  She went to do that with her dog and Ron's help.  She picked a couch in the other tower, one behind an intervening bookshelf.  She looked at Ron, then groaned.  "Tampons?"

"We'll work on that potion first," Danny called.  "Get out here and help."

"Yes, Danny."  She went to do that, finding most everyone with a book already.  She pouted.  "Where's the potions supplies?"

"Create some," Don told her.  She looked confused. "Speed said you could."

"I can?"  She looked at Speed. "Like transfiguration?"

"No, like pulling from another reality."

"Isn't that going to unbalance things?"

"Not really.  We're out of touch of all of them.  We can pretty well rob carefully if we want.  Nothing that would be missed."  She sighed and went to look in the card catalog to find a book on how to do that.

***

Alex looked up from his reading as a goblin stormed into his office. "I could've sworn I locked you guys out of the castle."  He went back to his reading.  "Next time, don't try shit, Gruinth."

"It was not my decision.  You can be a danger to us."

"Have I been?"

"Not yet."

Alex looked at him.  "Push me, watch me do so."  The goblin stepped back.  "Your own fault for pushing me.  If you don't push me I don't do shit."

"We cannot let you run free with what you know of us."

"No, you can't let me run free with how I know how to undermine the bank, yet you've done that for the past forty years."  The goblin looked stunned.  "You forget, I wrote that book, Gruinth.  You might want to check the references and my file."  He went back to reading, turning the page.  "You also might want to note that screwing with me again will only cause the bank more harm. It's not like I don't take the jobs no one else will.  And hey, you could *always* have solved earlier by yourself, right?"

"You have The Key in your possession," he said.  "We want it."

"Fat chance I'm turning it over. It's not in Key form anymore."  The goblin looked stunned so he smirked behind his book. "It's not.  It's also safe."  The goblin growled. "You're sounding rabid."

"You cannot stop us."

Alex put down his book and leaned forward on his desk.  "Really?  Would you like me to put out the other books?  Because I've got copies lying around here somewhere I'm sure."  The goblin took a step back.  "I have slaved and nearly died for your bank.  Time to repay some loyalty.  You know damn good and well I'm not handing it out.  The only people who have access are the other Banes and my very few, carefully chosen students.  Who do you think is going to use that against the bank?"

"The team you assembled. Two of them aren't even magical."

"The two of them are magical.  One of them isn't very magical and she'd end up being a very weak nature path.  Gibbs is a lot more powerful than you think.  He doesn't want to do it.  Big difference."  The goblin huffed.  "Any other qualms?  Because it's not like you can erase their memories.  I've already blocked that."

"We can remove them."

"No, you can't.  That doesn't work on nature paths."  He leaned back and looked at him. "You've already lost and you're deeply out of favor with me, Gruinth.  You're going to have to beg really hard the next time you need me.  Since one of the digs with a goblin-only crew just exploded last night from what I heard.....  Have fun with that and get out of my house."  He looked horrified.  "I'm not going.  Bill can go if you can talk him into it.  Of course, he already knows what went on.  Handy thing my mentor created, communication charms."  The goblin took another step back.  "He knows all about what happened yesterday evening.  And so does Draco.  So does Arthur Weasley."

"You would leave our young to suffer?"

"You would try to kill me by putting me in a vault to suffocate?" he countered.  "Then the answer is yes."  He picked back up his book and put his feet up.  "Now, I believe I asked you to leave.  We're going to be having fun and flying later."  He stomped off in a huff.  "Pity but you brought it on yourself.  Your debits and credits aren't equal anymore.  You've run out of credits with me."  The door slammed.  "Fine.  Be that way."  He smelled the troll and sighed, pulling his backup wand and stunning it, then banishing it back into the main bank.  Then he summoned his things they had taken off him, including is wedding ring.  He put it back on and put his wand in its usual spot in his waistband.  Draco leaned in. "Yes, Gruinth put a troll in here.  It's in the main bank's office."

"Pity," he agreed, coming in to sit in his lap.  "Did you leave part of yourself there?"  Alex smirked at him and pulled him down for a kiss.  "Well?"

"It'll be back later tonight, Draco," he said quietly.

"As long as it won't hurt you."

"Nope."  He snuggled into his chair and put his book down to have his mate.

Mac started to walk in then saw what was going on, backing out and going in the other direction.  "Draco and Alex are in the office," he noted to the others, who just rolled their eyes.  Stella smiled at him.  "They are cute."

"They are.  Was that a troll?"  Mac nodded.  "Why?"

"He came with the goblin clinging to him.  It got him past the no-goblins orders on the floo."  He pulled her up.  "We've got to check in at home."

"I already did.  Sheldon said they're doing fine.  Eric said the Miami crew is arrogant and acting like Feds, but they're doing the job. He's only had to yell at two of them and Alexx backed him up. They've solved most of the cases and the experienced techs are having a field day teaching them what they should know.  They get to brag this way."  He smiled at that.  "They're fine and we've got another two days before we get Danny and Don back, then we'll play a fun game."  He nodded, smiling at her.  "So relax, go sit down and read one of the other billions of books that's laying around the house."

"Fine.  I'll go into the garden and read some more.  Want to go with me?"

"Sure."  She grabbed them a drink and went with them.

"Young love is so cute," Abby sighed, smiling at Harry.  "So are you."  He beamed and kissed her for that.  "Hey, Gibbs, if we get that serious, family rules say we've got to get married here."

"That's fine.  I can come back for the wedding," he reminded her.  "The others can come but they won't remember how they got here, just that it was beautiful and you were scary in black."

She laughed at that.  "Thanks, Gibbs.  Long way off but I'll keep that in mind."

Harry blushed brightly.  "Far way off.  Only when you're ready."

"Thanks, Harry."  She kissed him again and drug him off to walk in the front yard.

Gibbs shook his head, looking at Calleigh.  "Why do I have to watch that?"

"Because it's cute."

"It is but I'm going to be nauseous watching them."  She laughed and hit him on the arm. "Did Willow head back?"  She nodded.  "We could get you back."

"I want to see quidditch."  He smirked a bit.  "I do.  Where's McGee?"

"With his book on Harry's computer. Where he'll be for months when we get home."  He looked up at the sound of screaming.  "Some of us don't need to hear that, Alex."

"Not me," he called.  "We're still dressed."  They got up and went to the front door, finding Harry and Abby going at it.

"Yes, the aunts will be ecstatic about that," Draco said fondly, closing the door.  He led Alex back to the study.  "We're busy."  He closed the door behind him.  Just in case.

Gibbs shook his head and went to wander around the gardens with Calleigh.   She could understand that he wanted silence and to look at the odd things, like the flowers that tried to bite them both when they walked past them. She laughed and he shook his head.  Only in this world would you decorate with people-eating flowers.

***

The library opened and Midnight trotted out, going to find food in the kitchen. The house elves raced to check on the people who had been stuck in there and feed them something, but they were all asleep. They tucked in Tony, who was on top of Speed with a book between their chests. They checked on Dawn but she was curled up underneath Ron's snoring body.  They checked Danny and Don but they were on separate couches with separate books and Ryan was the only one sitting up in a chair.  Asleep but sitting up.  One of them nudged him and he snapped awake.

"Master Ryan go to sleep in his bed," she ordered.  "Upstairs.  Come, Favor will take you."  She led him up to his room and let him into it, watching as he wobbled over and fell face down to sleep.  The others were all in comfortable sleeping positions so they left them there.

The Pound.

Alex looked up as the yelling started in the kitchen, sighing and heading that way.  "What!" he shouted.  They all flinched and gave him hurt looks.  "You're screaming, why?"

"Me is not liking that Favor wants to dust and not do bedrooms," Favor said.  "It is not Favor's day to do bedrooms, it is Favor's day to dust.  Me is not on schedule."

Alex took the schedule and checked the calendar, then looked at Me.  "Are we off schedule?"

"Terry and Tipsy disappear last night," Me said, looking down.

"Goblins or did they wander off to die?" he asked.

"Terry was very much old," Favor said unhappily.  "Tipsy is a sick house elf."

"Why didn't you guys tell me?" he demanded.

"We saw house elf healer.  Called Auntie Cordy Me did," Me assured him, giving him an earnest look. "Me must borrow house elves from other houses."

"They're needed there and half the staff at the manor is working with the herds of animals."  He looked down at her and sighed.  "House elf shelter?"  She brightened up.   "Must I?"  She nodded at that.  "Can't I write you a letter and let you go?"

"They not listen to Me," Favor reminded him.  They had done that to get her and Alex had ended up showing up anyway.  He groaned.  "Master Alex is sick?"

"No, not yet.  I will be after we get back."  He considered it then sighed. He put out a general call.  It was a well-known fact, one did not go to the house elf shelter alone.  Ever.  The Banes were all busy.  Including his students who were in the catacombs doing an inventory.  Alex may be able to make theories in other's books work but he was not strong enough to go to the house elf shelter alone.  He called Don on his cell.  "Any of you guys bored and willing to go with me to the house elf shelter?"  He brightened at that.  Gibbs was out on injury leave with Tony.  "Think they'd go with me?  Please.  Have them call.  No, we had two wander off to die last night.  The other house is understaffed because of the spring births."  He looked at Me.  "Find out how many my aunts really need."

"Two, Master Alex.  Me could use a few more too."

Alex nodded.  "Please?"  He hung up and handed Me a key from his pocket.  "Go rob the vault of this month's shopping budget plus six thousand galleons."

"Me empty vault into vault room?"

"Fine," he agreed.  Me disappeared.  He went to his office to take some aspirin and wait.

***

Tony listened to Don's question and moaned. "Absolutely not," he muttered.  Gibbs and McGee looked at him.  "Alex needs to go to the shelter."

McGee shuddered.  "It's a stupid person who goes there alone," he noted dryly.  Tony nodded at that.  "Do we have one here?"

"New York has one. It's pretty small."  He looked at Gibbs.  "He needs someone to tell him no."

"Like animal shelter or pound?"

"Like little creatures like Favor and Terry," Tony told him.  "Oh, and Terry may have wandered off to die.  Me said she disappeared."

Gibbs sighed at that.  "All right.  How bad is it?"

"No one goes by themselves," McGee told him.  "Greg went with Hodges from what I heard and came home with two when he needed one and another one for his overlord."

"So it's like going to the pound," he said dryly.

"Yup, only more pitiful," Tony agreed.

"We can go.  We're not doing anything else today," Gibbs decided.  Anything was better than sitting around the office.  Tony gave him hurt look and shook his head.  "Yes, you can."

"My place is much too small for the one I'd be bringing home."

"Share them among the group.  Let's go, DiNozzo."

"Fine," he complained, standing up and grabbing what he needed from his drawer.  He limped over and took Gibbs with him to the elevator.  They portkeyed to the castle and had to walk around the house elf struggling under the enormous bag.  He floated it up and Me squeaked.  "Looked bigger than you could handle."

She smiled. "Me thanks you."  She took over the floating spell and floated it into the vault room, making Draco moan at the sight.  "Master Alex say so."

"Wonderful. Who else just came?"

"Master Tony and Master Gibbs, Master Draco."

"He's in the study," he called.  He came out at the laugh, finding Harry and Ron were both plaid.  "Got into that trunk again?" he asked dryly.

"I don't mind that Alex likes being here to do the research stuff but I hate the booby traps.  Why can't Don be plaid?"

"Don was chasing someone down earlier who had shot his daughter," Tony told him.  Ron slumped and nodded, going to find the cleaning solution, because nothing was going to remove it otherwise.  It was spellfast.  He and Gibbs walked into the study.  "Having fun?"

"Hell no," he said with a pout.  "I hate going to the house elf shelter."  He looked at Gibbs.  "I need four.  Maybe five if we can find a lady's maid one.  No more than that.  I'm not allowed to come home with more than that."

"Fine," he agreed, smirking slightly.  How bad could it be?  "Do we need to bring anything, like a list of skills?"

"No, we need two cleaning elves and two for the farm stuff at the other house."  He got up.  "Are you two okay enough?"

"Graze on my knee," Tony told him.  "He's got a wrenched elbow.  Tough bust."

"I heard, but man."  He walked out with them, taking them to the portkey area. The thing was created from a stone and they were off.  "Remember, four, five if there's a lady's maid."  Gibbs nodded. Alex took a deep breath before walking inside.  The human keeper perked up at the sight of them.  "Four, maybe five."

"Of course.  We've got over three thousand house elves at the moment."  Alex gaped.  "The shelter on the mainland got flooded in the last rain."  He whimpered.  "Any particular type?  We've sorted them that way."

"Two farm, two cleaning, and one for my aunts who can do lady's maid duties."

She nodded.  "Okay.  We have those."  She walked them to the cleaning ones.  "Any particular cleaning needs?"

"It's an old family castle and I'm a cursebreaker.  They're going to have a library, kitchen duties for various amounts of people now and then, and won't be allowed near the artifacts.  We have a lead house elf.  We had two wander off last night."  She nodded, patting him on the back.  He took another deep breath when she paused at the door, Tony doing the same.

Gibbs looked at them.  Surely it couldn't be that bad.  The door opened and all the hopeful, pleading, big eyes and some depressed and lowered ears stared their way.  Okay, so maybe it was but he was a Marine.  "Strength, Alex."

She looked at him. "You're Dumass?"  He nodded quickly.  "For the manor or the castle?"

"Cleaning staff for the castle.  Farm staff for the manor and the farm beasts.  They do the unicorns themselves."

"Wonderful."  She led the way inside.  "This is Cursebreaker Dumass."  Some of them looked away.  "He needs two cleaning elves for his family's castle."

"You'll be dusting, doing the rooms, dealing with the library, not handling any artifacts, and cooking when my students and friends come in," Alex offered in the silent, pitiful room. It was radiating pitiful.  He was feeling the pitiful seep into his bones.  "Why can't we just send our senior elves in?" he pleaded.

"Because they usually don't get what you need," she admitted.  She looked around.  "Does anyone want to work for him?"

"Babies?" one elf asked.

"Not at this time," Alex assured him.  "Not in my plans either.  Two future weddings however."  A few elves moved closer.  He stroked over one's head, his ears were so low it was like they had lost all form and shape.  "How long have you been here?"

"Six years.  Missus not like how I bake."  She gave him the most pitiful look.  "If you not need baking, Doggy do it."

"Baking might be part of it," he admitted.  She wailed and went to beat her head.  "Maybe you can learn from the keepers or the other elves.  Make your skills greater," he offered.  "Then you'd get adopted for sure."  That cheered her up again and she went to talk to some of the ones who liked to do the cooking.  He looked at the keeper, letting out a small whimper.

"He'll need ones to clean up after couples and things, plus do library stuff."

"Plus handle the horses," Alex admitted.  "I think Ron did it this morning with the way he smelled."  A few more backed off, going back to their knitting and sewing.

"What are they sewing?" Tony asked.

"We let them make clothes for the newborns and premies at the hospitals. It gives them a sense of purpose and a reason to keep going," she offered quietly.  "This year we're going to be sending some to charitable organizations as well."

Tony nodded at that.  "I hope they all find homes."

"So do we, but most modern wizards don't live in houses that need more than one."  She gave Alex a look.  "Do you have a calendar of tasks?"

"No, Me sets that unless they're understaffed."  He looked at the twelve hopeful faces.

"Two," Gibbs said firmly.  "Only two."  Alex nodded, giving them pitiful looks in returns.  "As a cursebreaker, he does have dangerous stuff laying around the house but you'll not be touching it."  They all nodded and a few more backed off. They were down to eight.  "Go by longest," he said quietly.  Alex looked at him.  "All things being equal, give the ones who've been here longest the chance.  Or call Me and have her decide."  Tony was petting one's head.  "Your apartment is too small."

"We could share it among the group."  He gave him the puppy eyes.  "Boss?"

Gibbs called Horatio.  "Any of you free?  We're at the house elf shelter."  He smirked. "That'd do."  He hung up.  "We're getting some support."  Tony went back to petting the two of them, another one had snuck over for some attention.  That one looked smaller.  "Is she younger?"

"Yes, she is.  She's a teenager.  Her family died."  She looked at Alex.  "Are you sure you can't use three?"  Alex whimpered and looked at them.

Speed and Horatio walked in.  "Line up, quit cuddling," Horatio ordered.  They did that.  "It's not fair to the humans if you cuddle."  He looked at them. "You'll be dealing with quidditch players and cursebreakers."  Another one left.

"Apparently she doesn't like quidditch," Tony said, still petting one of his house elves.  The new one had snuck into the line.

Speed removed the hand and looked at the house elf, then patted him on the head.  "You're a very good house elf but he's only got an apartment.  Most of us do."

"Taps cleans apartments," he assured him. "Cleans very well.  Even be *shared*."  A few of them covered their ears and shook their heads.  "Please!"

Horatio looked at him.  "We'll see.  We have muggles around us. A lot."  He nodded eagerly. "We'll see.  Go wait on us while we talk about it."  Taps walked off to wait patiently by the door.  He looked at the two old friends, then grimaced.  "It'd be unfair to make him go from New York to DC to Florida every day."

"DiNozzo has a part-time housekeeper too," Gibbs offered.

"I go through a house elf agency."  He patted Alex on the back.  "Alex is a researching cursebreaker so he and his students are there most of the time."  The one he had been petting walked off.  "Plus there's two baby dragons that visit now and then.  Plus some kids of his friends who are holy terrors."  That narrowed it down to four.

Gibbs looked at the keeper.  "Do any have any special skills?"

"Tiptoe very sneaky," one offered.  "Sneak into nursery all the time to deal with babies."

"These are toddlers and Weasleys," Tony told her.  She looked awed. "Think Tipsy could use one?"

"She said we were not to send one to her when I asked to see if any of them could go with me," Alex said.  "She's got enough."  He looked at them, then sighed.  "Fine."  They cheered and he walked out with them.  "Which one next?"

"The farming elves are a lot fewer," she asked, jogging to keep up with him.  "The lady's maid one you wanted, if you're willing to let her do laundry I have a great one.  How many ladies?"

"They don't dress up every day but there's eighteen aunts and a sister at the house, but one's thinking about stealing a mate soon."

"Ducky would enjoy that," Gibbs offered.  The lady's maids all stared at him, mostly female elves.  He swallowed.  They were all like Alex's aunts.

She walked in.  "Hidden."  She scampered up and looked attentive.  "This is Alex Dumass.  His aunts need someone to take care of them and his sister for special events and to help with their clothes and the clothes making."  She nodded eagerly.

"One of the aunts does make most of the clothes," Alex warned.  "Plus we do have animals and unicorns."

"Hidden not allowed near unicorns," she said, her face falling.  "Hidden was nearly killed by last one.  Hidden touched her Mistress's unicorn horn."

"Okay.  Who would you suggest?" Alex asked.  She gave him a wide-eyed look.  "Most of the time they don't dress up, but they do sometimes and you'll be expected to help with the clothes, both laundry and making.  Plus, one may be getting married soon if she's right."

She blinked and looked around, then pointed at one.  "Jet.  Jet is pretty and strong.  Jet is good sewer.  Jet is good at laundry and hair.  Or Emerald."  She pointed at another one. "Emerald is French maid.  Emerald worked in suit shop."

"This one would be working for the Dumass family," Horatio told her.  She squealed and went to get Emerald.  "Do you know English?"

"Most of my aunts speak French and she can learn if she doesn't," Alex said quietly.  "Emerald?"  She looked up at him, giving him a steady look. "My aunts and sister need a lady's maid to help them when they want to be pretty and to help make clothes and do laundry."  She said something in French and he shrugged.  "Sixteen, eighteen.  Depending on who's traveling and what's going on at the family home."  She bowed out and pointed at Jet.  "Are you sure?"  She nodded.  "If I may ask why?"  He smirked. "No, no babies.  Unicorns, no babies."  She shook her head and said something else.  "All right, if I find one, I'll keep you in mind."  He looked at Jet.  "Jet?"  She ran over.  "You know of my family?"

"Jet worked for Justinius' daughter Melly."

"He has a daughter Melly?  I thought that was my spoiled bitch of a sister."  She giggled at that and blushed.  "You'll do.  You can sew in the popular styles?"  She went to get her sewing to show him, making him smile.  "She'll love you.  We'll take you."  She nodded.  He looked at Emerald.  "I may know someone.  We'll see.  One of my aunts is working with someone up the street who could use a caretaker."  He walked out, looking at her.  "Farm help?"

"What sort of animals?"

"Cows, pigs, sheep, chickens.  Self-sustaining farm with magical equipment."

She nodded.  "We can do that."  She let them into another room.  There were only sixty in here.  She pointed at one corner.  "Those ones are fertilizer patrol elves.  The ones on this side are mostly planting.  We need animal caretakers," she called. "Farm animals and maybe a few horses now and then."  A few rushed forward.  "The Dumass family farm."  One stepped back.

"You won't be dealing with the unicorns. You'd be dealing with the food beasts and milk beasts," he assured them. "Plus probably some of the things that come out of them."  Two proudly stepped forward.  "You've done this before?" he asked.  One stunk like fertilizer.

"Dooey does in past.  Dooey needed more as fertilizer crew when Dooey's master switched farm to grains."

"Milky is good with cows and pigs," the other said proudly, smiling at him.  "Master has many cows and pigs for Milky to help with?" she asked.

"About two hundred cows and about ten pigs, plus chickens and some sheep."

"Wool knows sheep," one called, hurrying over.  "Wool works on sheep farm," he said proudly.  "Even helps shear."

Alex considered it, then nodded.  "That might be a help.  They were talking about expanding the herds.  Do any of you know anything about unicorns?"  Dooey raised a hand.  "You do?"  He nodded.  "We'll make sure you get a good scrub."  He nodded. "Okay."  They followed him out to join the other ones.  Tony and Speed were hissing and staring at each other, while Horatio and Gibbs walked over there to talk some sense into them.  "Going to the manor," he called.  "Coming?"

"In a minute. Let's settle this one," Speed called back.  "We don't need...."

Alex tuned them out and looked at his elves.  "Okay, we're going to the manor house first, that way you can get scrubbed and cleaned up, plus outfits to wear but not own."  They nodded.  He signed the various papers, made his mandatory donation, and left with them.  The aunts all stared at him.  "Four are cleaning elves," he promised.  "Jet?"  She stepped forward.  "A lady's maid who sews very well."  That got a squeal and one of them picked her up to help. "Plus three farm hand elves."

"Good," one of them agreed. "The castle needed how many new cleaners?"

"Two, maybe three."

"Go back there and get another one," Aunt Cordy ordered, separating them out.  She looked at one.  "Go scrub until you don't smell."  He nodded, finding a washtub and taking it into the garden to do that. "Thank you."  She looked at her nephew.  "Shoo."

He sulked but went back there, looking at her.  "She sent me back for another cleaning elf."  One got pointed at and he looked at the very young one.  "You'll do.  It'll get you off to a good start."  He took her back after signing her paperwork and handed her to his aunts, who smiled and let Me pick out who she wanted of the new staff.  He accepted the pile of packages for the castle and took them home with the camp moving spell, knowing they'd handle the house elves and send back the ones coming back.

***

Danny walked into his house and paused.  "I take it Speed couldn't talk him out of adopting?" he asked patiently.  He looked horrified and started to snap his fingers. "No, I live here. I'm Danny."  He stopped and nodded, coming over to show him what he was doing. He looked at the carpets.  "You could just vacuum.  That's more than acceptable."

"Dirty and nasty carpets."

"Well, yeah," he agreed. "Whatever.  Just remember, we've got three others coming here tonight."  He nodded, going back to work on the dirty spots.  He walked into the kitchen then came out.  "Just got here?"

"Yes, Danny sir.  Taps just got done in DC with cleaning up sawdust for Gibbs sir."  He got back into the scrubbing.

Don walked in and slammed the door.  "Speed said to watch out for wet spots?"

"Taps is scrubbing the carpet," he said, pointing at the elf.

Don looked down then reached down to pet him.  "When did we get a house elf?"

"You not one of those wrong people?  Taps will defend self from wrong people."

"Eww, no.  I'm not.  I'm not used to having house elves."

"That's fine then.  As long as not wrong person who likes to touch house elves funny and badly."  He got back to work.  He could ignore some petting.

"Work out a schedule so you hit each house once a week," Danny ordered, going back into the kitchen.  Don followed, helping with dinner.  They shared a look.  "Most of us don't pet the house elves like our familiars."

"I've never had a house elf," he defended.  "Besides, Alex pets Me."

"Me gets petted for good work.  She likes ear scratches.  She's odd," Danny assured him, smiling slightly.

"Do people actually molest their house elves?"  Danny nodded.  "Why?"

"I have no idea.  It's wrong and it's bad, otherwise I don't know."  He looked in the fridge. "Cow or pig with noodles?"

"Cow.  Pig and noodles is odd."  He went to change.  "Danny, all our clothes are being washed," he called.

"Are not clean, smell like chemicals," Taps called.

"Some of those are dry clean only," Danny noted patiently.

"Taps cleaned those appropriately.  Taps knows what Taps is being doing."  He went to answer the door at the knock, but Danny stopped him.  "Taps hide?"

"We have muggles in the building," he said quietly.  That got a nod and Taps went to hide while Danny got the door.  He saw Horatio. "You could've popped in."

"I thought I should knock in case someone was throwing a fit at Tony for picking up a house elf."  He walked in.  "I want to talk about joining the bond."

Danny beamed.  "Sure."  He walked him inside. "Taps, enough with the carpet. You can do that when we won't be in your way.  Go wash your hands and make beef and noodles for dinner for five."  He nodded, drying that spot once he finished then went to wash his hands and cook.  Don came out in a pair of boxers and a t-shirt.  "Everything else being washed?"  He nodded.  "That's fine. It's family."  Taps came out and took his clothes, going to clean them and put them up too.  Mac and Stella came in and got undressed by him and handed stuff to sit around in.  Danny found a pair of sweats in his school trunk and put them on over his boxers. Just for modesty's sake.

"I don't usually wear boxers and a tank top around the house," Stella complained.

"Rest needing to be cleaned, Taps cleans and then give back.  Shoo."

She walked out, pointing. "When did we get a house elf?"

"Tony," Horatio told her.  She just nodded at that.

"The house elf shelter is a pitiful place," Danny told her.  "Very, very pitiful.  You've got a lot of freed elves who want nothing more than to go back to good service."

Tony appeared.  "Taps, Gibbs said you did a very good job on his house and the basement, but next time leave the tools where they were please.  That's how he knows where he stopped."

He nodded at that.  "Taps do better next time."

"He said you did a great job otherwise and that's something that's training."  Taps nodded and went back to the kitchen to start on dinner again.  "Guys, I'm sorry, I just couldn't," he said, pleading with them to understand.

"I know, Tony. I was there.  Even Speed eventually gave in."  He looked at the quad.

"The main European one flooded. They had over three thousand house elves there."  That got some moans.  "Yeah.  I just couldn't leave him there.  I'm sorry."

"All our places could use a good scrub now and then," Horatio said dryly.  "I'll leave a list of instructions for the day he does my place."  He looked at them.  "We need to talk about me joining the bond.  Alex pointed out some things at the same time he told me he can read and understand what other people write theoretically."  Stella flopped down and he looked away.  "Stella, boxers gape," he noted.  She shifted and smiled at her men.  "Thanks.  Don't want to have those thoughts since you're theirs."

"Taps have babies to take care of?" the house elf asked from the kitchen.

"No, no kids," Stella promised him.  "Never kids."  Don flopped down against her free side and snuggled in, arms around her waist.  "Long day?"

"Yeah, three chases."  He looked at Mac on her other side.  "Hi."

"Hi."  He reached behind Stella to pet his hair.  Don smiled and relaxed.

Danny flopped down in his chair, the only semi-dressed one.  "We'd have to get us all together," he noted.  "We'd have to do the spell together and get you marked somehow."

"Can we do that tonight?"

"Sure, where do you want the tattoo?" Stella asked.  He blinked at that.  "It links through it."

"Mac's...."

"Is implanted, like Stan's charm.  That's why I don't have the good control."

"We can fix that," Stella assured him.  He swallowed and shook his head. "Oh, yeah, we are.  That way it's a part of you and not something that can come out.  That way the exercises help you."  She patted his shoulder over it.  "Yes, we will.  Where would you like your tattoo?"

"Stella...."

"Ass cheek?" Don asked, smiling at him.  "Good choice, Mac!"  Mac glared at him. "You're the one who can't get control and you can't get it because it's implanted and not part of you.  That's why Wiccans have so much problem with control from what I got told."  He grinned.  "So, if not there, then where?"

"Somewhere inconspicuous that no one will know I have one," he said grimly.

"Back of the thigh," Danny told him.  "Shouldn't be anyone but us that sees you there."  Mac groaned and nodded, giving in.  "Horatio?"

"Do we have a set pattern?"  Danny nodded, letting him see his.  "That's pretty."

"We designed it when we were starting this," Tony said proudly.  "Now, where?"

"Lower stomach, off to the side.  No one sees that area on me."

"Okay," Danny agreed.  "We can do that.  I know where the wizarding tattoo place is."  He got up.  "Someone call Speed to come up once we've got them marked.  Taps, we'll be back in a few hours."

"Taps will have dinner waiting and carpet unnasty, plus laundry all clean."

"Thanks, make sure we have something to wear to work tomorrow."  He pulled Mac up and looked at him.  "Go put on clothes, all of you."  They all went to do that and Horatio smirked.  "I came home to him doing the carpets."  He checked himself, then shrugged.  It had the house name on them but who would notice it in New York and understand it?  The others came out and he walked them out.  "Who has one of our cars?"

"I do," Mac admitted.  "I was going to see if we could do a bit of adding clothes to here."

"Only if you guys put in closets," Danny told him. "There's no room in mine."  He got in to drive and the others piled in.  He took them to Time's Square and a small street off the main path, parking in front of a small shop with a candle in the window.  He walked them inside and gave Mac a shove.  He nodded at the girl in the front.  "Pete in?"

"In the back, Mr. Messer.  Need another one?"

"No, they do."  He walked them back there, making Mac go.  He made Mac look at him.  "You will because I got bleed-through from you today and the exercises won't help with them being that far from your head.  Understand?"  Mac nodded at that.  "Good.  Because you nearly got Don shot earlier today by bleeding over into our heads when you got frustrated.  We don't allow that."

"Yes, Danny."  He went to get in line with Horatio.

Danny had the bigger one so he showed it off. "They want these, wherever they want them."

"Magical or not?"

"Magical.  We're linking a charm to it," Don told him.

"All right."  The guy led them back to a room, putting Horatio down first.  "Where did you want one?"  He lifted up his shirt so he could get to the area.  "That may sting a bit."

"I've had pain."

"All right."  He looked at him.  "First?"

"No."

That got a smile.  "That's fine."  He pulled over a razor to shave the area, then the prep pads.  He took a tracing of Danny's while the area dried.  "How big?"

"Smaller than that.  Maybe half size?" Horatio asked.

"I can do that."  He went to transfer it into the magical sheets, imbuing it with the magic they'd need.  Danny checked, then called Speed, who came up with one already done.  "Ah, one of those. I understand."  He brought it over and laid it on Horatio's side, transferring it over.  "There?"  Horatio nodded.  "Excellent."  He pulled out the special gold tip and special inks.  Speed whispered in his ear, getting the powder and oil as well.  He looked up.  "This sounds like a Banes marking."

"Our version," Danny agreed.

"Understood."  He spread the oil over it, letting it soak in for a moment, then wiped it off and started on the outline with the special ink.  It wasn't a challenging design by any means.  "What color is the wand? I noticed some difference between the two I've seen."

"Mine's strawberry blond," Horatio admitted.  That got a nod and the wand part was colored in the same color as his wand.  The gun was made silver.  The broom he paused over.  "Mine's black."  It was made black.  The powder was sprinkled on after the last of the blood was wiped off.  Speed chanted the charm quietly and Horatio stiffened, closing his eyes.  The tattoo was healed and he rubbed in the oil again, linking him in firmly to them.

"You good?" Danny asked.

Horatio nodded.  "I can hear all you and Mac is still boomingly loud."  He looked at him. "I agree. You need it."  He sat up.  "What are we doing after this?"

Speed smiled.  "The rest of the bonding."  He kissed him on the forehead.  "Let Mac have the chair while I make this spellfast."  Horatio nodded, letting him do that.  It locked the spells in, it would come back even if the tattoo were damaged by someone and no further charms could be added to it.

Mac got onto his stomach and let the man put the tattoo there.  "Same size is fine," he offered quietly.

"Agreed."  He prepared the area and laid down the transfer Speed handed over.  "What colors are your wand and broom?"

"I don't fly and oak."

"Hmm.  Light tan then and I'll make the broom match."  He got to work on his, going through the same steps. Speed set his and did the bonding charm, making Mac grab his head.  Tony came over to take out the imbedded one, putting it into a small case Danny created. "Anything else tonight? I can do some wonderful rings if someone wants some."

Stella shook her head. "None of us are that kinky really.  Well... Speed?"

"Have one.  Thanks anyway though," he offered with a grin.  He paid the guy from Danny's wallet, then drove them back to Danny's place.  They ate dinner then were drug into the bedroom to do the rest of the bonding charm, that charm that let them share their memories.  Horatio balked for a moment but Speed soothed him, whispering through his mind that he already knew anyway. He had seen his other tattoo. It wasn't one to be ashamed of.  Horatio let go and let them in, learning and being learned from.

Stella woke up first and glared at Tony and Speed. "Don't you two *ever* think about something other than sex?"

"The spell makes you horny," Tony groaned, blinking at her.  "We know where you belong.  Even if what you did when you and Catherine got back was pretty."  She blushed at that and so did Mac.  "Aww.  So cute."

Speed smacked him on the head. "Then you interrupted our eavesdropping by nearly getting kidnaped again.  Did you get to at least have fun first?"

"Not really."  He flipped over and cuddled Speed, with Horatio still sleeping against his back.  He shifted his hips and Speed smirked and spanked him.  "Oooh.  Playing that way tonight?"  He did it again and Speed let him work himself off on him for now.  He'd get him later.

Horatio lifted his head up and looked at them. "That's much more quiet than what the quad did.  Thank you."  He put his head back down and Tony wiggled over to pull him between him and Speed.  "I do like girls, Tony, and from what I saw, you can't be a girl ever again."

"Well, I can, but I'd be stuck that way permanently if we changed me without using the removable one."  He yawned and continued to rub against him.  "You're so hot," he whispered.  Horatio moaned and shifted back. "It'll help with the nap."  Speed nodded, taking what he needed, making sure Horatio got off.  The quad were cuddled around Mac, who was blushing at what he had seen.

Danny looked at Don.  "Where was I when Speed molested you in the library?"

"Sleeping, again.  That was the week you got the cold and I was leaking.  Sorry."

"No, necessary," Stella assured him. "Very necessary.  There's no telling how you would've warped the spells on the library."  She looked at him, noticing something.  "Alex marked you."

"Huh?"  He felt where she was looking, finding traces of magic.  He got up to look in the mirror.  "Huh....  Hold on.  His mentor made the communication charms."

"Which means he can probably link into them," Danny said slowly.

"Well, Alex is an information hog," Horatio noted quietly from his spot.  Everyone nodded at that.  His libraries showed that much.  The good thing was that they knew that Alex would never use what he knew about them if he had been listening in.  Alex would never use stuff like that against a friend or coworker.  "Now what?"

"Now, we nap," Danny said with a yawn.  "We'll molest each other later, after Mac starts on those exercises."  Everyone nodded at that.

Mac laid awake while the others fell asleep around him. He had never been that intimate with anyone.  Parts of him reveled in the closer touch to his lovers.  That part that touched him sang that they were fine and how they were doing, what they were doing.  There were other parts that shied away from the intimacy.....

Don lifted his head. "She'd kick your ass for being a miserable prick.  Now, quit thinking so loud and go over the first exercise again.  Okay?"  Mac nodded, grimacing.  "Good.  'Cause remember, one of them could probably call her back to chew you a new one for sulking this way.  She'd feel happy it took three of us to replace her."  Mac smiled slightly at that.

Speed lifted his head.  "Mac, she can hear you.  She's probably watching you, and she can start screwing with things in your life if she doesn't like it.  Really.  Next time you get four flats on the way to a scene, remember that."  Mac smiled for real at that.  That had been when he had been trying to ignore his attraction to the trio. Maybe it had been a sign. He let himself drift off and Don looked at Speed.  "You sleep too.  Or else Danny can't molest you before work."  Don smirked and put his head back down on Mac's shoulder. He shook his head and put his own head back down on Horatio's shoulder, getting head pets from his boss.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  You knew?"

"Kinda obvious with the way you react sometimes, H," he said quietly.  "Plus, showering at the station?  Saw it at least once.  Eric has too but he's thinking it was just pretty."  He patted him on the stomach.  "Sleep, before Tony wakes up and wants more.  I'm not in the mood to be walking funny tomorrow."

"Eric would tease you," he said fondly.

"Again."  He snuggled in.  "What're we going to do about Ryan since he can hook into these?"

"I don't know.  Does he usually?"

"Not like I know unless he's inputting an opinion."

"That's bad manners and we'll remind him of that the next time."  Speed nodded, letting him handle it.  Horatio basked in the glow of the minds touching his.  It was warm and comfortable, like he wasn't alone anymore.  He'd never be alone again unless he died last.  He was comforted by that fact and settled in to sleep between the two young men.  Though he did hope he wouldn't have to spank Tony for trying to have his ass in the morning.

***

Alex smiled as the bond sealed, nodding at Draco. "Finally."  He kissed him, getting a moan.  He pulled his mate on top of him and let him have him this time.  It wasn't often that he bottomed but sometimes it was very comforting to know that you weren't alone.  Draco reminded him of that very well.

***

Ryan looked up as Speed and Horatio came in the next morning, raising an eyebrow.  "Have a good night?"

"Nice dinner," Speed agreed happily.  "Good friends.  That stuff."

Ryan smirked.   "Is that why you're walking funny?"

"You wanna be a bunny rabbit?" he countered.

"Not today.  She might try to pet me."  He smiled as he went back to his work.  "Horatio seems more centered as well.  Good practice?"

"No.  No flying last night."  He went to get his things from his locker, finding a note in it.  He frowned at the note, then walked it out and handed it to Horatio before going back to finish changing.

Horatio looked at it, then snorted. "Really?" he asked dryly.  He was going to have to do something about Rick Stetler some day very soon.  Threatening to expose his officer as a gay cop was not what a good IAB officer did.  He noticed Ryan watching him.  "Mr. Wolfe?"  He walked over.  "What is going on?"

"Well, one, I was thinking you looked happier and more centered.  So obviously *dinner* last night was good for you.  Secondly, I was wondering if you'd like to meet Willow's new angelfish, Rick."  Horatio smirked at that.  "Not even me.  Eric slipped," he said quietly.  "That's why I put him in his lab and told him to concentrate on that and let me change him back.  Sometime."  He grinned.  "Besides, she needs new fish."  He walked off, going back to work.  "By the way, thank you for sealing those.  Now I have to be in contact with it for it to affect me.  One of those guys was really loud and distracting at just the wrong moment."

Horatio smirked at that bit of information.  "Good to know."  He went to talk to Eric, debrief him about what had happened. Though he already knew, Rick had been taunting him about his sister or something equally personal.  He found the fish on his desk and smiled at it. "Hi, Rick. Having fun?"  He put in some fish food and turned on the aerator to give him more oxygen.  Didn't want him to die from this.

Ryan walked in. "I just realized I left Willow handcuffed for going hunting again.  Can I run home and make sure she managed to get free?"

"She called to wake us up, complaining about that.  It took her three hours to do so.  Also, the drawer didn't close very well.  The magical..." he cleared his throat.  "Accessories were left on and managed to home in on her."  Ryan blushed at that.  "I didn't know they made magical versions of those things."

"She charmed hers," he offered, walking off.  As long as she had gotten loose, it'd be fine. He'd call her at lunch to make sure she was still all right.  Of course, he'd be protecting himself from retaliation but she needed reminded she wasn't immortal.

Hard At Work

Don answered his phone.  "Flack."  He listened, then he groaned.  "No, I'm at my other job," he said dryly.  "Why?"

"What are you doing?" his boss yelled.

He looked at her.  "Seeing if this is a problem for now or later," he noted dryly, going back to listening to the goblin.  "Uh-huh, and why is this *my* problem?"  He smirked.  "Well...  Think about who's training me," he said dryly.  "Do we think I *want* to help you guys?  Of course not."  Someone tried to take his phone and he shoved her away.  "If it's that bad, you'll send it to me tonight, at home, and I'll see if we can help.  Anything else?  Good."  He hung up and glared at his boss.  "See, thirty seconds and it's an after work thing."  He stood up and gathered his things together.  It was a game night and he could leave early.  "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go bug Danny for a bit about a case."

"You're not leaving early tonight," she said.

He moved closer.  "I know who you're dating," he whispered.  "I also know that Danny and I can snap his head off his neck with a bludger for not supporting the PD team.  So yes, I'm going to go play with my broom and you're going to quit trying to tank the team before I have to tell Stella."  She shuddered at that.  He smiled sweetly.  "Agreed?"

"You know he won't be hurt?"

He snorted.  "Have you seen us play?" he countered, walking off.  "Going off to bug the smart people."

"I still need paperwork from you," she yelled after him.

"Of course you do but I was wrapping up older cases today.  Check your inbox, boss."  She huffed and stomped off.  He ran into Stella and smiled.  "I told her I know."  He patted down a bit of hair sticking up.  "Run into some current?"

"Something like that."  She grimaced.  "Lindsey is doing an experiment to see how he got electrocuted with a low voltage current."

"The guy who died from his fan?"  She nodded.  "Huh.  Water?  Just a guess."  He walked past her.  "Going to bug Danny."

"No, don't.  He's glasses-deep in his case.  He's on his top lead."

"Fine," he pouted.  "I needed him to wrap up something on my case."  She looked at it then groaned and nodded, walking him off to find those reports for him.  She found all but one and had to go bother Danny anyway.  Don leaned in.  "Danny?  I need one report for this case to be handed on and you're the only one....."

"Right corner of my desk.  Blue folder."

"Thanks."  He went to do that, closing him in the lab again.  He sent warm fuzzy feelings toward him, getting a mental slap on the head for it.  He left him alone and found the report, and two others related to his case.  He frowned as he read them. "No," he moaned.  Danny hit him on the head again.  He asked him about them.  It ruled out his suspect who had just confessed.

Danny walked out and took those from him and turned to the page, pointing at the case number and type of case listing.  "Robberies.  The other ones he was liked for," he said slowly and clearly.  He put them down and went back to his lab. "OUT!" he snapped.  Lindsey got away from his microscope and scurried off. "Thank you!"  He slammed the door and got back to work.

Don finished up the report and tossed it at his boss, making her scowl.  "That's what you get for dating someone who doesn't like your guys," he said dryly.  "I'm off for the game. Have fun. You wanna come watch?"

"No," she said, glaring at his back.  "I could make you work tonight."

"No you can't.  I've put in my twelve for the day."  He grabbed his jacket and headed out, going home.  He called his sister on the way.  "You coming out today?  Danny's deep in a case.  I don't know," he admitted.  "Where is our backup?  I haven't seen her in weeks."  He nodded. "If that's good.  No, I'm scared to interrupt him.  No, real deep.  He growled at me deep."  He grinned.  "Going to change now.  Sure."  He hung up and parked in front of his place, getting out to go up and change clothes.  His landlord gave him a dirty look.  "What?" he demanded.

"It's been how long since you've been here?"

"Probably about three weeks.  Sorry, I'm dating heavily.  Anything go wrong?"

"Small leak from your tub."

"I left it on?"

"No, we had a pipe break," he admitted dryly.  "Speaking of breaking...."  He held out a hand.  "Rent?"

"I pay it automatically.  Didn't you get it?"  He shook his head.  "Let me talk to my bank and we'll see why."

Stella walked in and leaned on his shoulder.  "The bank is mad at you for learning from Alex.  They canceled all of our automatic withdrawals and payments."

"Oh, good.  Let me find my checkbook. You'll have it by tomorrow."

"I'd better."  He went back into his apartment and slammed the door.

Don headed upstairs, going to find his uniform and brooms.  Stella followed and he grinned.  "Share a shower?"

"We don't have time and Danny's too deep.  He's at the stage where he's muttering at the microscope and he's about to explode into action."

"I called my sister, she's off tonight.  What happened to our other backup?"

"Not a clue."  She pulled her uniform out and put it on the bed, then stripped and headed for the bathroom.  "I need new deodorant."  He followed and she squealed, slapping him when he kissed the back of her neck. "No time for that either, Don."

"Pity.  After the game?"

"You work me up before the game and the coach will scream, again."  He grinned and she glared.  "At me!"

"No he won't.  I'll tell him it's my fault."  He kissed her and then went to slick his hair back then grabbed his uniform to put on.  She came out with her hair braided and tied back, putting on her uniform.  She sat down to tie up her shoes, he propped a foot to pull up his shin guards.  Don looked at their brooms.  "We should steal Danny's."

"Only if you want paddled.  Call your sister."

Don called her.  "It's me again.  We may need you. No, I can't even hear him he's so far down.  Game's in about a half hour?  Sure, she can sit in the stands.  She's old enough.  She can sit with the team's kids."  He grinned.  "Thanks."  He hung up and grabbed their brooms, tossing her hers.  They walked out, her taking the keys to lock the door and drive while he stretched his arms and relaxed.  When they got there, he walked in first.  "Called my sister in case we need her, coach."

"Thanks.  Where's Messer?"

"Deep on a case," he admitted.  He grinned at him.  "Hi."

"Hi, Flack.  Did you yell at your boss?"

"Told her if she didn't quit trying to mess with me because she's dating someone on the team we're playing today, we'd knock his head off with a bludger," he said honestly.  Danny's mind exploded in swears and he sent calming thoughts.  He felt Mac going to check on him.  Danny finally spit out one last phrase and then stormed out of the station with Sheldon after him.  He told him his sister was playing in his place and Danny grunted, mind on the case.  "Danny's not in a good mood.  His temper just exploded on this one."

"Wonderful. Okay.  You two warmed up?"

"Could use some stretching time," Stella offered, handing over the brooms so he could check them.  She and Don helped each other stretch while the others warmed up.  His sister walked in with his niece, earning a smile from them.  "Hi, pumpkin."

"Hey, Miranda," Don said, giving her a hug.  "What's up?"

"My father deserves to die," she said dryly.  "I'm going to tell Grandpa on him."

"Call Grandpa and we'll have dinner after the game."  He looked at his sister.  "We use this to wear out stress too.  What did he do?"

"Don't ask."  She looked at the coach.  "Where is the other backup?"

"She moved to Texas somewhere.  I told the others."

"I've been busy helping Alex," Don admitted.  "Oh, and he pissed off Gringotts to the max this time," he shared.  "He knows too much.  They tried to lock him away and he got free."

"Wonderful," the coach said flatly.  "Are you in trouble?"

"Nope.  They're trying to put pressure on us to make him give up," Stella offered. "Personally, I'm starting to like the thought of going to Scotland Yard now and then.  You, Don?"

"I'm leaning more toward going down to Miami, be with the guys," he admitted. "The 'rents could come, Miranda could come.  My ungodly heathen sister could come."  Stephi hit him on the arm then went to change.  He looked at his niece.  "He did what?"

"Told me I'm not allowed to have friends, he tried to kill the owl bringing my letter, and called his religious buddies to come remove me from the house so that they could hide me from the tainting things."

"Ah.  Well, fat chance you're going.  What happened?" he asked at her wicked, evil laugh.  "You know, your Ma did the same thing once."

"They came to the house, and about ten minutes later, the fire department had to show up.  I kinda, um, set one's pants on fire and his lighter exploded.  He's probably still in surgery.  The police officers who responded called Grandpa.  Grandpa told them what was going on, so I'm not in trouble.  They thought it was his lighter that leaked due to me fighting to get free."

He hugged her hard.  "You are to stay in the stands with the other family members.  Got me here?"  She nodded.  "We'll work out how to keep you safe tonight."

"They're in jail."

"We're hoping they're the only ones," Stella told her.

She nodded.  "I hadn't wanted to think about that."

"Me either," her mother offered as she came out.  "She's going to stay with Dad and Mom, Don."

"They're older, Stephi."

"And I'm warding that place with things that would make Momma scream and call a priest," she said simply.  Don smiled and nodded.  "Can I borrow Tony?"

"He's working but I don't think he's got a case.  We can call after the game."  She nodded.  "Coach, take my niece, put her with the other family members."

"Of course.  This way, kid."  He walked her that way, putting her down beside Horatio since he was there. "Poaching?"

"We don't have enough young players in Miami for real games," he said grimly.  He looked at Miranda.  "You're Stephi's daughter, right?"  She nodded. "I'm Horatio. I'm Speed's boss."

"Wow."  She shook his hand.  "My name's Miranda.  My father's an asshole."

"I know that feeling," he admitted.  She giggled and punched him on the arm.  He looked up as the teams took the field.  She gaped in awe.  "Just watch.  When you're in school, you can play."  She nodded, watching her mother and uncle be *mean* and *like* it.  "I play keeper," he offered, pointing at his usual position.

She smiled at him.  "I want to play like Uncle Don.  He's pretty cool."  She went back to watching, cheering her family on.  Danny flopped down beside her and pulled her back into her seat, making her glare.  "Get off!"

"Sit down. You're blocking the people behind you, Mini Flack."  She sat and went back to watching.  "He can teach you how to fly.  I helped teach him," he promised.  She beamed and nodded.  "Your ma's not bad for being out for so long.  You'll be better."  She giggled and hugged him.  He caught Don's eyes and nodded, getting a smirk and the bludger being hit at his boss's boyfriend.  He laughed.  "His boss is dating him."

"Pity for her," Horatio agreed, smiling at him.  "You get him?"

"Saw us, ran into traffic, nearly got hit by a bus, but he's in custody and singing.  Didn't even make me break bad.  Too bad.  I wanted to make him cry."

Horatio patted him on the back.  "You'll make the next one cry."  The game ended on a foul against the PD team's seeker, but they still won.  They walked Miranda down to hug her uncle and mother.

"You're really sweaty and gross," she complained.

"You'll think it's okay when you're playing," Danny promised, patting her on the head.  "So, who's celebrating tonight?"

"Stella and I were since you're not playing today," he taunted, smirking at him.  Danny gave him a look.  "But we might let you help."  Stella pounced him with a whoop and hugged him. "You were magnificent."

Danny took a kiss.  "Inspiring," he said, shooting a picture of her making a goal.  She smiled and got off Don's back, giving him a hug too, then hugging Miranda and Horatio.  "We heading to which house after we go make your parent's house sing with wards?"

"Can we get Tony?" Stephi asked.

Danny smirked at her.  "Already there.  Pissed your dad off to no end.  He said he's more than enough.  Oh, Don, your cult was there when Tony showed up.  They've vowed to protect the family, even the female members."  He walked Miranda out with a wink, making her giggle.  "Okay, we're going to portkey, but I don't know what their living room looks like."  Don sent over the picture he needed.  "Is that from today?"

"Nope.  Ask Tony."

Danny nodded and asked him, getting a time-spot mental image.  He created a portkey and sent them off together, landing between the couch and the tv.

"Can we do it again?" she squealed, hugging him.

"Sure, when you're older."  She laughed and went to hug her grandparents.  "Here to help Tony."  He went to do that, getting a grin.  "Need help?"

"Please.  This window's got an unbreakable charm and it doesn't want to take the wards."

"Hmm."  He stepped into the 'ignore me' field that Tony had set up, helping him anchor it on the other side of the window.  Then he added his own touches, getting an evil smirk.

"Boys?" Don's mother asked dryly. "Are you nearly done?"

"Nearly," Danny agreed.  He added one last mark then hid them all and let them sink in.  No one would ever break into this home again.  The house flashed them went quiet.  He walked Tony inside.  "Done."

"Good. What did you do?" Don's father asked patiently.

"If someone tries to break in, they're going to be miserable, dead, and eaten," Tony said honestly. "Even when she's not here."  That got a small smirk from Don's father.  "She's too precious to waste on wastes of their mother's times like her stepfather."

"Amen," Danny agreed quietly, looking at Don's mother.  "It's to protect you and the old guy too, that way Donny doesn't have ta worry."

"Then I probably won't protest.  Can my priest bless over it?"

He nodded.  "Sure.  Unless he's like us, he won't even notice it.  It won't come up unless it's needed."

"Thank you, boys.  Want a brownie?"  They shrugged and went to get one in reward. "Who won?"

"Our team," Danny said proudly.  "I was in the middle of a case so both your kids played today."

"They were *amazing*," Miranda told her.  "They nailed the balls at the players, they kept it going all the time, it was like the ball was alive."

"Bludgers are," Danny assured her.  "They like to hurt people. Beaters are there to make sure they only hurt the other team."   She gaped. "I've got a beginning quidditch book at home Don can steal."  She beamed and nodded, hugging him and going to help her grandmother cook while they talked about the game.

Danny and Tony looked at Don's father.  "We're going to celebrate the win.  Stella needs an arm and shoulder rub.  You need us, you call us.  Any of us.  Wackos like that should be gotten gone."  They disappeared, taking their brownies home.  Tony moved to work on Stella's arms and shoulders for her, making her moan and arch back into his hands.  "Done.  Everything from passive wards to something demonic coming out to eat someone if they're there to hurt an innocent in the house."  He snuck a bite of dinner and a kiss with a grin.  "You two did look good.  I promised you could let her borrow my beginning quidditch book."

"I'll get it later for when I go check on her."  He snuck another kiss. "Go sit.  Let us cook."  Danny nodded, going to do that.

***

Mac hung up the phone, making sure his mental shields were fully up and it sounded like he was doing paperwork.  Something had been nagging him and it had come last night when he remembered they had promised to check Sonny's grave to make sure it was really him in it.  He grabbed what he needed and headed out, going out there.  The cemetery was a peaceful spot.  A few other families and single people staring at their loved one's headstones.  He found the one he wanted and noticed the recent flowers to it.  Not carnations or roses.  Lilies.  He stared at it then quietly cast the spell, concentrating.  He walked off a few minutes later, going to talk to Sheldon.  That wasn't Sassone, that was his number three goon's body.

He did not want to tell this to Danny, not yet.

***

Danny looked up and shook his head.  "Idiot," he muttered in Italian.  "I already knew that, his kid's momma came up to see if I could find him for her.  She knew he's not dead."  He got back to work, contemplating what he was going to do.  He finally decided and sent Mac a blistering fit of temper for trying to protect him, making him flinch and hold his head suddenly where he and Sheldon were eating, telling him what his lunch had been about and why he had been in such a foul temper most of the day.  Mac sent back his apologies and Danny pointed out they could track him.  He had told her he would.  Then he cut off contact and finished cooking.

"Want a hug?" Stella called.

"No.  I'm good.  It was more the fact that he was trying to protect me, again."  He brought the food out to the table then went to get plates.  Don walked in and hugged him.  "I'm fine.  He obviously thought I wasn't going to hear?"

"Probably thought he had his mental shields high enough," Don suggested, kissing him on the cheek.  "You sure you're all right?  What happened anyway?"

"One of the junior thugs at the school called me for lunch.  So I went.  He's Sonny's boy but he sounded like he was in mental agony.  I thought maybe he was having to decide which side ta go to, ya know?"  He handed over glasses.  "So we went to lunch, he tells me Sonny's got another kid, a sick one.  Needs something from Sonny to be well.  Set up the meeting between me and the mother.  She's not one of us but she knew.  Somehow.  She asked if I could find him.  I told her there were tracking charms but I needed something of his, specifically of his, something that he had touched and worn a lot, something that was personal to him."  He handed over the bundle of handkerchief from his pocket.  "His ring.  Don't touch it.  I'm doing the tracking charm tomorrow since I'm off."  Don handed it back.  "Since the kid needs it, I won't even kill him on sight."

"I will," Tony called, sounding sweet and nice.

"You do, his kid dies."

"Pity."

"Tony!" he snapped.

"All right!  I'll let him live that long, but you're not going alone."

"Not like we can't switch the bodies out," Horatio offered dryly.

"True," Mac agreed as he walked in.  "I didn't want to upset you before I had proof, Danny."  Danny glared at him. "You didn't mention the lunch."

"I told you I was going to lunch with one of the junior thugs.  You didn't listen.  Stella, didn't I tell him?"

"I heard you say it.  Lindsey was wondering why, thought it was them trying to pull him back into the family stuff," she reminded Mac.  Who groaned and sat down holding his head.  She worked on his neck.  "I know.  We like to try to protect Danny but sometimes he likes to remind us he's tougher than you."  Mac and Danny both gave her dirty looks.  "You do try.  I would've went with you.  Don would've."

"Don was busy with the suspect from hell," Danny reminded her.  "Besides, I figured what he wanted.  Sonny's got three kids. It had to be about one of them or they'd have asked one of the others."  He finished putting food out.  "Dinner. Eat or don't."  He sat down and       dished out some food, Don beside him getting his plate filled.  Horatio came over, looking at him. "I'm good with it.  It's about the kid's life.  Least we can do is help."

Horatio nodded.  "Do you need backup?"

"No, I need someone to remind me I can't hit 'im."

"No, that's my pleasure," Tony reminded him.  He walked the others over.  "Where's Taps?"

"My place," Horatio assured him.  "He was grouting the shower last I knew."  He handed food down to Mac.  "If he's willing to cooperate, you can wait to hurt him, Tony."

"But, dad," he whined.

Horatio smirked at him.  "Making him do something responsible may very well eat him," he noted.

"Nope," Danny said dryly, eating a bite of dinner.  "He's the last in the family.  His ancestors will come back from the dead and kill him if the kid dies.  Besides, she's a sweet kid.  Plus he's got another one in trouble.  She went to someone abusive after him.  Hard to believe but she considered him easier to deal with."  Mac moaned at that.  "So we can catch him doing stuff for his family or else."  He ate another bite and chewed. "It won't be that hard and he's a muggle."

"You'll call?" Tony asked.

"Of course."

"Thank you."

"Welcome, mom."

Tony gave him a long stare then suddenly smirked.  "That's not what you used to call me, sugar."

"No, but I'm with people who like to let me not cuddle, honey."

"Please don't.  Saw enough of that from Tony and Speed's minds, guys," Stella complained. "I don't even want the thought of all you guys sharing me to occur."

"Now that you mention it," Tony teased.  She kicked him under the table, earning a wince.  "Ow, meany."

"I'm telling Gibbs and Abby."

"She'll applaud and he'll want to smack me upside the head.  No big difference there," he noted with a smirk before nipping his next bite of food.

"Maybe if you weren't so bad, he wouldn't want to smack you on the head so often," Mac taunted.

"No, he likes to play with my hair," Tony shot back with an evil grin.  "Lots and lots of people like to play with my hair."  Horatio put his phone on the table and he laughed. "I've got tomorrow off."

"Not now you don't," Gibbs' voice came out of the speaker on the phone.  "We'll be seeing each other very soon, DiNozzo."

"Nope, I know that's why you play with my hair.  By the way, you never answered Don's and my question.  How many hits before I get a ring?"  He ate another bite.

Gibbs moaned.  "The only ring you're getting is the one I'm going to use as a marker when I castrate you, DiNozzo."  A female in the background giggled.  "Don't encourage him."

"But he's cute," her voice came across fainter.

"Yes, but he knows it," Gibbs reminded her.  "I'll see you bright and early, DiNozzo."

"No can do, boss.  Gotta help Danny threaten Sonny.  Again."

"No you don't."

"Oh, yes, I do.  Not like you're going alone, dear.  Or else I'm letting Stella into my photo album."  Danny went pale.  "Comprede vous?"

"If I've gotta have one.  You get to stay in the car."

"Fine with me," he agreed.  "That's close enough.  Night, boss and Amanda."  He hung up and handed the phone back.  "That was nearly evil, Horatio.  You really are meant to be one of us."  They shared a look.  "He'll smack me extra hard and I'll ask about his sex life.  And?"  He finished up and got up to get more water.  "Anyone need anything since I'm up?"

"Can I have a beer?  I deserve a beer," Don called.  One was handed over. "Thanks."  He sipped and grimaced.  "Transformed?"

"Yup, he doesn't have any on hand."

Stella took it and did a better transformation before handing it back.  "There, better beer."

"Thank you.  Knew you loved me."

"Of course I do or I'd never let you hog me for cuddles all night.  Or let you curl up as the dog next to my stomach."

"Sometimes it's comforting to nap in animal form," Tony said.  "You and Mac have fussy forms, but I curl up as a kitty now and then in the sun.  It's a great feeling, very comforting."

"He likes to drool in my bellybutton," she told him.  Everyone at the table laughed.  "Mac and I are there as barriers to keep Don from cuddling Danny and while I appreciate it, it's your turn tonight, Danny.  The puppy is yours."

"That's fine," he said with a small grin.  "My fault for being so wrapped up earlier. But hey, I got the guy he and tried to run in front of a bus."

Mac smiled.  "I heard.  The ADA down to make the deal shrugged when he claimed you chased him in front of it on purpose.  Told him not to run next time."  They all laughed.

Speed showed up and knelt beside Horatio.  "Got a call from Ray Jr.," he noted quietly.  Horatio stiffened.  "He's fine.  Ran into Taps.  Thinks it's fairly odd, but cool enough.  He came over to talk to you about his girlfriend and he's waiting for you whenever you get back home.  He's having scary monogamous thoughts according to him.  He scared Taps nearly half to death popping in that way.  Then, he said, Yelina called."  Horatio let out a quiet moan.  "He told her he was talking to a house elf that was cleaning your place and she came over to see.  She's not sure if it's a pet or not but she called him so ugly he's cute.  So you might want to finish dinner quickly before we have to go *back* for another one."

Horatio wiped his mouth.  "Let me handle that.  I'll see you guys in a few days."  He disappeared.

"Eh.  Taps asked Don if he was one of those 'wrong people' who touched house elves funny because he petted him.  Said he'd defend himself."

"I'm sorry, but if I had to peg one of this scary group to be a molester of house elves, it wouldn't be Flack," Speed said dryly, taking Horatio's seat.  "Willow maybe, but not Flack."

"I still like how Angel got his," Stella said with a small smile at Don.

"How?" Tony asked.  "Or are we going to be sick?  That smile is scary."

"Alex sent Angel a house elf strip-o-gram.  Freed her as long as she finished it and she became Cordy's house elf."

Tony blinked, then looked at Speed.  "Didn't I send you...."

"Yup, remind you to pay you back for that too.  I didn't get around to it before I died."

"Um, sure."  He nodded. "For that sort of idea I do deserve it."

"There are people who sleep with house elves?" Mac asked.

"Yup," everyone else answered.

"Why?"

"I don't know but we could make Calleigh go find out," Don offered brightly.

"How many times did your sister hit you with the bludger?" Stella asked, looking concerned.  "Should you go to the ER?"

"I'm fine," he said with a scowl.  "Not like I suggested I send her a stripping and molesting house elf."

"I'd suggest sending one of those to her ex with an order to stay invisible while he tried him, but that'd give him too easy of a way out on an insanity plea," Danny offered.

"Is it contagious, whatever's wrong with you two?" Stella asked, starting to look really concerned now.  "Because if it is, I'm going home tonight."

"You're in our heads, it's much too late for you to run," Tony said with a fond smirk.  She shivered and slumped down some.  "Don't worry, Danny will make you think his insanity is normal.  He did it to us and look at us now."

"Yeah, that's what I'm worried about, turning into you, Tony," she quipped back.

He pulled his wand. "You'd look just like Speed's little brother," he offered.

"No, I like her girl parts," Don said firmly.  "Leave her girl parts alone."

"But...."

"No," Don said more firmly.  "I need her girl parts.  They're nice."

"They taste good too," Danny muttered under his breath.  Then he sipped his water.  She gave him a shocked look.  "What?  They do!"

She groaned and shook her head.  "Speed, can I have your couch tonight?"

"Only if you're sleeping with Ryan.  He's hiding from Willow since he handcuffed her and left her that way for her charmed toys to attack.  Oh, and she didn't even buy, she made her own."  Tony and Danny clapped at that.  "Yeah, it's so much easier when you can buy them precharmed and not have to go looking it up."  He looked at Tony.

"The librarian thought it was sweet that I wanted to give my girlfriend a toy that would make up for my inadequacies.  I told her it wasn't for that reason."

Don looked at him.  "You found it in the school's library?"

"Yeah, in the mid-level charms sections."

"Of course, the vibrating charm he found in the restricted section," Speed said with a smirk for his buddy.  Tony nodded at that.  "If I remember right, you bought a few and charmed them to send to his sister."

"Yup, that way there was no chance she would spawn."

"Her present spawn isn't too bad," Danny admitted.  "Miranda's kinda cute.  We turned her into a quidditch player today."  They all beamed at that.  "What did the little creatures who wear real clothes want?"

"Me to come in and look at a box that was going to be inherited."

"Nope," Speed said.  "Not a chance you're going alone, Don.  That could easily be a ploy to get Alex to come rescue you."  His phone rang and he looked at it.  "Speaking of..."  He answered it.  "Hi, Alexx.  What's wrong?"  He smiled.  "No, I'm with the gang.  Sure, I can do that."  He hung up.  "Gotta go.  She wants to talk."  He finished up Horatio's dinner then disappeared.

"At least he's eating tonight," Stella said dryly.  "She won't have to spank him for not eating again."

Speed popped back, looking confused.  "That wasn't her.  I asked, she said it wasn't her."

"Then he's definitely not going to the bank alone," Danny agreed. Everyone nodded at that. "How are we rewarding our players tonight?"

"On that discussion, I'm taking Speed home to check on Stan."  Tony and Speed disappeared to his place.

Mac looked at Stella.  "I think she needs more shoulder and arm rubs personally."

"I could," she agreed happily.  Danny grinned.  "No, Don promised me sex, you were too wrapped up to play.  Therefore you only get to watch tonight."

"If that's what you want," he agreed happily enough. They finished up and headed into the bedroom to do that.

***

Don walked into Gringotts.  Against his better judgement he was here, but they had called his boss and she had ordered him to.  He had explained the situation to her and she said he'd be fine and was being a big baby.  So here he was, not a happy cursebreaker.  He walked up to the goblin-in-charge's office.  "You called me to look at a box?" he asked.

"You couldn't come last night?"

"I was playing on my team last night."

"Oh.  That's fine."  He got up and led him down to the vaults.  One was opened and he pointed at the box.  "That one, Cursebreaker Flack."

"You wanna bring it out?"

"For legal reasons we can't."

Flack looked at him.  "Not like I'm going to steal it.  I am a cop.  I'm also not going to let you guys trap me like you did Alex."

"We have no intention of trapping and holding you," he said patiently. "You're not a threat to the bank."  Flack stared at him.  "I have no intention of holding you in an inheritance vault forever.  That would make the inheritors very upset."

Don considered it, but pulled his wand and mentally started to chant the spells he would need.  He could release them if he didn't need them, but there was no way he was being trapped.  He stepped across the threshold and the vault door snapped shut.  He finished the spells and was gone before it locked.  Of course, he had misjudged.  He had only gotten to the temporal matrix crafting part of the spell.  That's why he landed ten feet to the left and back a few years. He had to cast a quick floating charm when he found himself without a ledge to stand on, but that was fine.  Once he was steady, he apparated to the Paris branch, walking into the head office.  He ignored the mechanicals.  Alex had told him about that.  He shoved open the door.  "What year is it?"

"You are?" the goblin in charge of the bank at that time asked.

"Cursebreaker Flack.  What year is it?"

The goblin blinked.  "I've heard some of you misjudge spells and come back now and then.  Your position hasn't been created yet."  Don blinked back then snorted.  "It's the year 1406, Cursebreaker Flack.  A few of you have made it back this far but not many.  Where are you from natively?"

"America."  The goblin looked confused.  Don went back over his history.  "That place across the Atlantic that Columbus hasn't run into by accident yet," he admitted.  He walked in further.  "Okay, I've got a problem and it's leading back to the goblins in my own time, and I can't go back until we can fix it."

"Why?"

"Because I'm an apprentice under Cursebreaker Dumass, Alex Dumass.  They decided to lock my teacher into a seclusion vault for figuring out how someone who broke into the bank did it.  There was a case three."  The goblin shuddered.  "Alex is a knowledge person. He's the guy you send on book and library jobs because you know he'll make a copy of anything he finds, but that's what he's in the field for.  With as much time as he's spent injured, he's gotten to read a good portion of them too.  Since he's naturally about 87 or so, even though he was deaged by a dark curse, he's learned a lot."

"And they were scared he would be a threat to the bank," the goblin finished.  Don nodded.  "Since you're his apprentice, they tried the same thing with you?"

"Just now, but I obviously did the parallel universe and time slip charm he learned off them wrong."

The goblin looked alarmed.  "What?"

"That's how they did it.  Alex said it was highly theoretical.  Talked about quantum mirroring a power key and things."

"That's not even in our present science," he said.  He calmed himself.  "Most cursebreakers wouldn't be sharing this much."

"I was never a big fan of fantasy novels, but even if I told you, he said that theory won't come out until a few years ago my time. Therefore I don't think I can change too much but you might be able to make a small change that won't affect anything and keep all your cursebreakers from leaving out of fear for their own lives.  Including me.  Because if I go back to my right time and they try again, I'm going to have to destroy the bank."

"I understand.  I would do the same," he assured him quietly.  "You don't shed assets that way."

"I'm not a house you foreclosed on," Don said dryly.

"To the goblin mindset, it's about the same," he offered dryly.  "Your skills and training are assets to us.  The goblins over this must be fearing for their souls with what they're doing."

"The worst thing is that the guy who ordered it is Dumass's orderer.  He's the guy who gives out our assignments personally.  They've been friends for over sixty years."

"We don't usually covet or become friends with our coworkers."

"He fussed and worried when Alex got deaged."

"Then I stand corrected.  Can you tell me about that?"

"Something about a lot of power.  It was a trap to retrieve one of the Lost.  He and his apprentice at the time went in to retrieve the body and his apprentice got knocked out.  Alex was blinded by the power for hours until someone found him.  It deaged him from just over sixty to five."  The goblin moaned.  "There are various theories about who, but he said it was light power.  We were at the time when a dark lord was supposedly falling and someone knew it wasn't over with yet according to what we found out later.  Alex thinks it was one of the good guys, who later ended up looting his house on him."  The goblin put his head down, shaking it.  "Yeah, long and complicated but only Alex knows all of it.  He's keeping some stuff personal.  Not even his consort knows."

The goblin raised his head.  "I will help you.  As long as you stay out of trouble and remain an asset to the bank."

"There's a whole list of places considered mythical in our time.  They might still be around here."

"That would be more than acceptable.  Do you know them?"  Don nodded.  "Why?"

"Because Alex made me memorize the list when he crossed Malgadesh off it after we cleared that city."  The goblin moaned.  "There is one that I only want a map on.  It's Alex's dream job.  He's worrying about the deaging not extending his life.  This way I've got something to make him keep going.  Because this has depressed him."

"Agreed.  If I can get you a map to there, I will.  Where?"

"He called it Aphrodite's Temple?"

The goblin looked at him, then smirked.  "Mr. Dumass is free with his attention?"

"He screwed a different boy or girl almost every single night of his life until he met Draco five years ago," he agreed.  "And that short time when he was too young for his body to work.  His black books of liaisons are like directories."  The goblin smiled at that.  "And then there were the interesting nights when it was triplets or something."

The goblin nodded.  "I will get you that map.  You will work quietly for the bank to raise our assets.  Are we in your country?"

"A few minor branches.  America doesn't have a ministry."  The goblin gave him a horrified look.  "From the history I got taught, we never managed it.  Never got it together.  We're pretty independent and a pain in the ass for other countries that way.  The Canadian and Mexican ministries step in when we need major help.  We have a loose group of aurors and some supposed decency groups.  Nothing else.  Some cities have overlords."

"The early goblin prophets said that the goblin race would encounter some of our least profitable times when the structures of the world started to go, but we would recover with some careful tampering."

"We make you guys hellish money," Don said dryly.  "Even Alex only makes fifteen percent of what he brings you."

"I will work to draft the help you and your mentor need.  For now, let us set you up in a guest room and let you into the library."  He rang a bell and a lesser goblin came running.

Don looked at him.  "I didn't realize Gruinth was that old."

"That's Gorth.  Gruinth may be of his line later," the head goblin offered. "This is Cursebreaker Flack. He accidentally slipped time back to us due to a problem in his current time's bank."  The goblin looked horrified.  "We are rectifying it. He is to have access to the guest house and the library."

Don pulled out his key.  "This is mine in the future if it helps you figure anything out," he offered, handing it over.  "They even tried to play with his other friends by stopping all automatic payments out of our vaults."

The goblin looked at the small brass key.  He could feel the goblin signature that told him which branch it came from the relative balance. "Extend him ten gold for supplies," he said, handing it back.  He looked at Don.  "Inflation is bad?"

"A buck now is good if you can buy a beer in a bar with it," he offered.  "That's usually only on sale."

The goblin looked at him.  "How much would an average house cost in your time, Cursebreaker Flack?"

"Depends on where.  In my city?  In the suburbs, outside of the main city but close enough to commute," he explained at the confused looks.  "Maybe a couple hundred thousand, maybe just under a hundred in a few less decent areas."  They both stared. He pulled off the pendant Stella had given him for his version of their bonding ring, letting them see the small diamond.  "That was about a thousand dollars, American.  Just under that in British Pounds at the time thanks to the exchange rate."

They looked.  The younger one moaned.  "A thousand British Pounds now is enough to set up a mansion and staff it for ten years," he offered. "That would be enough for a carriage and horses to pull it."

Don put it back on and smiled.  "My girl gave it to me."

The goblins nodded. "We will keep that in mind.  Inflation is exceptional."  He shook his hand.  "Thank you, Cursebreaker.   I wish you good hunts.  Tell me where you're going."  Flack nodded and followed the younger goblin.  He put his head back down and called his Ruling Council.  He went to meet with them, putting this in front of them.  They were the only ones who could draft subtle rule changes.  Or even set one down for that goblin later in time.

***

Danny felt Don disappear but knew he was all right.  He and Tony shared a look.

Tony called Alex while Danny and the others talked.  "Alex, DiNozzo.  Don just disappeared.  No, he's alive.  It's like when you showed him how to jump...  Yeah.  Just like that.  I'm guessing so.  He'll come to you first probably.  As soon as we feel him back here, I will," he promised.  "We are.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Don said his boss forced him to go."

"Well, she nearly killed him," Danny said grimly.  "I'm going to get her for that."  He broke off and got out.  "Stay."  He slammed the car door and walked up to the house, knocking.  A familiar man opened the door.  "It's a bad thing when the mothers of your children come to me, Sonny.  We gotta talk."

"No we don't."

"Yeah, we do.  Two of your kids are in danger."

"I don't have kids."

"Yeah, you do. One of the junior thugs you were using at the magic school is yours.  No matter what your momma said."  Sonny stared him down.  He snorted.  "Not like that works on me, Sonny.  You wanna do this here, fine."  He let him inside.

"Last time I saw you, Tony was on my ass and trying to kill me," he said grimly.

"He's in the car.  He's a Fed now.  Speed and I are both cops."  That got a shudder.  He handed him a letter.  "From Mac, who is honorable.  He won't touch you if you're doing something to help these two kids.  After that, you're fair game."

"I didn't think I had kids."  Danny put three pictures in front of him.  He stared at them.  He had doubts about the older one being his, but this proved it.  Danny had their mother's names and birth certificates there, plus DNA reports.  He looked at him again.  "Okay, talk."

"The younger girl, she's sick.  You're an exact match for her bone marrow.  She'll die without it."  That got a slow nod.  "They'll have to take some from a bone and insert it into her.  It'll take a few days but she will die without it."

Sonny nodded.  "I've heard of that sort of thing.  Cancer?"

"Leukemia."

"All right.  Where is she?"  Danny handed over the admittance forms for the hospital that he had gotten off a source.  He read them over.  "I'll go this afternoon."

"I'd change clothes.  The sweats don't really make you look like yourself."

"All I had clean.  Can't blame a guy for needing to do laundry since my Ma isn't here to do it for me."

Danny gave him a look.  "I liked the lilies.  He'd have liked 'em too."

"Thanks.  I'll tell him that the next time I visit."

"If I were you, I'd handle it and skip the country, Sonny.  Mac was serious.  Once these two are safe, he's hunting.  He's the one who found out that wasn't you.  I think he mentioned letting you two share the coffin."  Sonny shuddered at that.  "I'm here because their Ma's came to me, and he does know.  The kids are more important."

"Understood.  You were a bad card to play with the PD.  The other?"

"She left you and went to someone who's friends with a lot of cops.  Unfortunately she's also being abused by this guy.  She's left him but he knows enough cops to get the address of all the shelters.  He's drug her and her daughter out by her hair more than once.  Right now he's got her locked in the apartment with the daughter.  He's hurt them both.  She needs saved.  Doesn't want you to help but needs saved.  He even knows another like me and got her away from some other cops like me who tried ta help.  If we can get her hidden more safely the other cops will get him this time.  She's agreed to testify and things."

"I can arrange that.  Address?"  It was handed over.  He looked it over.  "I know this guy," he said bitterly.

"Wonderful.  Because she's gonna die soon and so will your daughter."

"She wants me back?"

"Nope."

"I get that," he decided, looking at him.  "Thank you for coming to me like a man."

Danny stood up.  "I did last time. You didn't listen.  Neither did my dad.  He's in a cell in Venice and you're here.  So who won?"  He walked out, leaving it there.

Sonny got up and went to get dressed.  He had funds hidden from everyone.  Now was a good time to slip into them and his alternate identity.  He found a pair of jeans and a shirt, heading back to the living room to make a few calls while he put on his shoes.  "Connect me with Peters," he said quietly. "He'll know.  I need a favor.  Tell him it's Sonny.  Yeah, I know I'm dead.  Just tell him, buttfucker.  Now."  The phone was handed over.  "It's me. I need a favor.  I just found out I have kids and one's being beaten by her new daddy.  Yeah, that one.  You couldn't tell me?  I had to hear from *Messer*," he said bitterly.  "Yeah.  Heard about that too.  However I can.  Get my kid and hide her.  Set her and her momma up somewhere safe and away from him.   Messer said the cops can't.  That he knows too many of them and apparently at least one's like that himself.  Thank you.  Yeah, as soon as I can get to the bank to transfer it."  He hung up and headed out to go to the hospital.  Plus to make plans to move out of the country.  He had to kill one of his people to get away from Taylor last time.  This time, it was only him.  He wasn't going to underestimate him this time.  Then again, Mexico had pretty women.

***

Mac looked up as Danny walked in, handing over the tape.  "Thank you."

"Not a problem.  Proof enough?"

"Much more than proof enough."  Danny nodded, heading back to work.  Mac listened to the tape and then nodded.  Danny hadn't said anything wrong.  The 'cops like me' could be interpreted a few ways.  He sent it to the Chief ME to have him exhume the body for proper identification and start the ball rolling for a new warrant to be issued for Sonny's arrest.  He sent reassurance at Danny.  Danny sent it back.

Danny walked into Flack's squadroom, finding the lieutenant out gathering paperwork.  He grabbed her by the arm and walked her into her office, slamming the door, realizing that most of the detectives had went silent.  Even the perps went silent at that move.  "You sent him into a trap that nearly got him killed.  He's presently missing.  Not even we have any idea where he could be."  She sat down, looking pale and shaky.  "You were told that they wanted to hurt him to get our friend Alex and you sent him anyway.  He managed to escape just before they sealed the airtight room.  You sent a damn good cop to a probable death and if it wasn't for him being so damn good at his studies, he wouldn't have escaped.  A normal one of us can't."  She swallowed.  "Now, I think maybe someone needs a burst of reality.  Because if he can't come back, I'm very much going to make sure your reputation is trashed for sending him into a trap knowing it was a trap.  No CSI in this city will *ever* help you.  Probably not most of the cops once they start talking.  And you know how much we like to gossip down there with Monroe."

She swallowed and nodded.  "I thought it was just a holding trap to get your friend."

He leaned on the desk, bracing on his hands so he could get closer.  "They wanted Alex because he got too smart.  The federal case we got called on?  It was for them.  Because he knew how they did it they tried to lock him in an airtight space forever.  Even took his wedding ring off him."  She started to get sick.  He stood up and kicked the trashcan closer.  "You sent Don to his death.  You're damn lucky he's better than average and managed to get free of it.  He's damn lucky we trained him our way instead of the normal school methods or else he would be dead."  He turned and walked out, heading back to the labs.  Their cult member stopped him.  "He's fine.  We're not sure where or when but he's fine," he said quietly.

"His powers misfired?"

"He had to escape someone trying to kill him to get a friend of ours.  He made an unplanned jump.  All we know is that he's fine."

"I'll tell the others to pray for him.  Thank you, Protector."

"Wish I had been there," Danny admitted.  "She...."  He trailed off and shook his head.  "Just pray really hard now.  Okay?"  That got a nod and he headed off, going back to work.  Stella walked in and patted him on the back, the most she could do in the labs to calm him down.  "We know he's fine but it still sucks.  I have no idea if he skipped realms or time."

"Time," she said.  "Mac, Speed, and I tried a tracking spell, it said time not realms."  Danny slumped and nodded.  "He'll be fine.  This is Don.  He thinks on his feet and he's a great detective, among other things.  He's probably at the bank screaming at them for what happened.  So maybe it'll be stopped."

He looked at her.  "Have a vision or just a strong feeling?"

"Strong feelings."  She gave him a gentle hug.  "Don will be fine, Danny.  We'll find him and get him back."  He nodded.  "As soon as we feel him return we'll go to him."  He nodded again and hugged her back.  "Now, get to work.  You okay with this morning?"

"Not really but I know I'm the better man since I take care of what's mine."

She smiled.  "You do.  You spoil me rotten."  He laughed and patted her on the back of the head.  She pulled back.  "Better?"

"Much.  Thanks, Stell."

"Welcome."  She walked off, going back to work.  She noticed Lindsey watching them.   "Even he needs some reassurance now and then.  Especially with Flack missing."

"Do we know if he was kidnaped?"

"No, he was sent into a trap.  We think he's gotten out of it and he's hiding," Danny said, coming to the doorway.  "That's why I went to rip his boss a new one."  She nodded.  "No gossiping yet.  Unless we don't get him back."

"Of course."  She went to think about that.

Danny looked at Stella.  "Did Mac tell his dad?"

"Not yet. He's waiting to see if he comes back today."  Danny nodded, going back to work.  She went to check on Mac, finding him staring at the phone.  "Don's boss?"

"One of his coworkers.  He wanted to know what was going on.  I told him Don had managed to evade a trap to kill him and was hiding. Told him to keep it quiet unless Don didn't come back.  That Don had said so before he went out because he didn't want his parents to worry."   She nodded.  "Did anyone tell Alex?"

"I heard Tony doing it."

"Good.  He'll go to him first.  Alex will call us as soon as he sees him if we don't feel him return," Mac admitted.  "Thanks, Stella."

"Not like I'm not worried too.  I got Danny calmed down."

"That's what the thanks was for," he said with a small grin.  "Go work."   She nodded, going to do that.  He pulled out his open case.  He had to concentrate on that for now.  It would give his mind time to worry in private.  The bond snapped closer and he remembered he wasn't alone.  He called Horatio.  "Is Speed all right?"  He nodded.  "Good.  Thank you, Horatio."  He hung up and got back to work.  The victims needed him and he would be there for them.  He would worry about Don tonight, when they were all curled together in bed.

Home.

Don reappeared in his right time in the London bank and glared at Gruinth when he came running.  "You are in so deep with the family."  He stopped and stared.  He handed over the wooden tube he carried. "For you.  From Garieth and the Ruling Council of that time."  He looked horrified.  "I'd read it. I know there's another copy around here somewhere."  He sat down to read it, then called out in a shaky voice to find the matching one so he could compare it.  It was brought in and he read that one over, then nodded.  "We done with this stupidity now?  'Cause I'm really tired of this shit and it don't make me wanna work for this bank at all."

"We are."  He looked at him.  "They had no intention of killing you."

"Bullshit.  By the way, reinstate my automatic payments, okay?  That way I have time to decide if I want to keep money here or work for you."  He felt the jingling in his pockets and pulled out the iron keys he was carrying, plus his usual vault key, and then summoned the small gold one that was on him.  "I need one of our permanent rings."

Gruinth looked at them.  "That gold one isn't ours."

"So?  It still goes on the same ring.  That way they can't be taken."  The goblin got one out of his drawer and handed it over.  "Thank you."  They put the keys on there, arranging them in number order.

"What do those go to?  I know they're locked."

"They are.  They're the stuff I found back then."  He gave him a smug look.  "All by myself too."  The gold key was held up.  "Yes, it goes on there.  That way I remember."  It got slid on and the keys moved until the keyring locked.  It wouldn't open without a special goblin charm. He took them back.  "Thank you. Now I've got errands."  He walked out, heading up the alley.  He walked into Ollivander's smiling at the older man. "Mr. Ollivander, if I bring you something great, would you fix my wand cheaply?"

"Of course.  Now, let's see. You're a cursebreaker, newly found.  You have two wands."

"Three now," he admitted, pulling the first two out.  One had a major split down the side that showed the core.  "That one broke while I was opening a door.  I got this one to take its place," he admitted, putting it down.

"Ivory and river snake demon's venom," he said, smiling at that. "Very good work.  Bombay?"  Don nodded.  "I can easily fix your first one, Cursebreaker Flack."

"Don, please."  He pulled off his pack and pulled out a small tube of cloth, taking that wand back to expand it.  "Ended up trying to escape someone who had me and ran into a pegasus.  Their tails have barbs, did you know that?  I ended up getting caught and pulled out about a quarter of it trying to get free so it could fly off.  But it got me away from the guy who had me hostage."  Alex popped in and hugged him.  "I'm fine.  I went back six hundred years."  Alex gave him a harder squeeze. "I'm fine and the goblin then took it to the Ruling Council. It's ended," he promised quietly.

"Don't ever mess up like that again, Don. Please.  Danny nearly killed your boss since you didn't make it back for two days."   He pulled back to look at him.  "How long were you back there? You're tanned."

"Six months.  I agreed to go traipsing around for them."  He pinched him on the chest.  "For you, I found something but you can't have it until I die."

"Don, you know they're not certain."

"I am.  I've got the map to the last place on your list.  You'll get it when I die, Dumass."

"You have the map to Aphrodite's Temple?" he asked, looking awed.  Don nodded.  He squealed and hugged him. "I don't care if I do need elixir of life!  I love you!"  He pulled back to smile at him.  "If it wasn't for that pesky curse, I'd bend over and let you take me here."

"Like you didn't remove it," he snorted.

"Well, yeah," he admitted, smiling at him. "But Draco doesn't know."  He hugged him again. "Don't do that to us again, Don. Please."

"I won't, Alex.  I didn't want to do that last time."  That got a nod and he was let go.  "I got stuck in the tail hair of a pegasus.  Did you know they had barbs?"

"I did," he admitted, smiling at him.  "I caught a ride on one once while escaping this demon in Kuwait."

"Yeah, that's who had me too," he admitted bitterly.

Ollivander unwrapped the tail hairs, smiling in joy.  "Even with skin tags," he said happily. "Hold these down please.  They might float."  He ran into the back to get storage for them.  The boys leaned on cloth so they wouldn't contaminate it.  A few broken pieces managed to float.  But that's what butterfly nets were for in his line of work.

Don looked in his pack and handed over something.  "Found this in a trap too.  Not sure if you can use it or not."

"A black phoenix tail feather," he said with awe, putting that carefully into its own storage container.  "Oh, I do thank you, Cursebreaker Flack.  Those are wonderful!  I'll make very special wands with them!"  He hurried his new materials into the back and came back to get his wand and fix it.  "I can fix this for free and make sure it shouldn't split again."

"It was the strain," Don admitted.  "It happens or so I'm told by Alex here."

Draco's head came up in the floo fireplace.  "You're back?"

"I am," Don agreed happily.  "I went back six hundred years.  I took it to a head goblin who took it to the Ruling Council.  They left a note for Gruinth that's chewing him a new one.  Plus I brought Alex a map back but he can't have it until I die."

"If it wasn't for the curse he removed from my family, I'd let you have him for a night.  But Danny might mind.  I'd expect pouncing when you get home tonight."  Don grinned at that.  "He's been bouncy and twitting, plus angry at the world since you had to disappear."

"I'll call him," he promised, concentrating on Danny.  He brushed love, reassurance, and safety at him, getting back love and happiness.  "He's better now."  He grinned at them.  "I got caught in a pegasus' tail."

"Need medical?"

"No, mostly scratches.   Wish I could've flown on her instead of having to climb out.  I need more time in the gym."  Alex grinned and hugged him again.  "Did someone dose you with something?" he taunted.

"I'm happy, learn to like it."  He patted him on the back of the head.  "Your boss said you have no leave time left."

"My boss and I are going to get into a screaming match," Don said with a fond smile.

"Danny already did once," Draco assured him.  "Stella said she got quite ill."

"Good."  He smiled as Ollivander came back, taking his wand and trying it out.  "It's great, thanks, Mr. Ollivander.  You sure I don't owe you?"

"No, my dear boy.  I haven't had any of those in a while now."

"There's a breeding pair in Kuwait," Alex offered.  "That's how I got you the last ones."  The older man laughed.  "Don, we should bring you home."

"We should so the others can pounce me."  He winked at his mentor. "I've got to unpack anyway."

"Might help, yeah," Alex taunted.  "What else did you bring back?"

"Seven iron keys and a small gold one that went to the handcuffs I was in when the guy who had the pegasus had me. Speaking of, I need to replace the ring since I snapped it when I took the gold key off it."  He held up the ring.  Alex moaned, looking at the numbers. "My next free day I'll let you see."

"Thanks, Don. You're a great apprentice."  He walked him out with a wave to Ollivander.  "Need anything before you get pounced?"

"Yeah, I need a new ring.  He hooked the key to my handcuffs to a guiche piercing and I broke the ring to get the key off just now."

"How did you get free without the keys?" Alex asked.

"I finally got what you were trying to teach me about house elf and wandless magic.  Do wands automatically go for openings in their way when you summon them wandlessly?"

"No, that's a matter of aim and a smutty mind," Alex assured him, patting him on the back as they walked down to the sex shop.  "We'll work on your focus later."  Don grinned at that.  "You're sure you're okay?  Don't need major medical, nothing?"

"No, I'm okay. I got a week to recover."  A goblin came running and he looked at him.  "What?"

"Gruinth wishes to see you both," the goblin said respectfully.  "He also wants to know if you still have the book on temporal magic you borrowed from the library."

"Somewhere in my bag and he can wait," Don told him.  "I'm not happy with the bank at the moment."

"He is going to correct that publically, cursebreaker.  Please?  It will allow us to save honor."

Alex groaned. "He's got to pick something up and have it put in, then we'll be there."  The goblin nodded and headed back to the bank.  "We should probably go," he noted quietly.  "It'll ease the fears of the others."

"I'm still mad at them for trying ta kill me," Don noted.

"So am I.  Trying me is one thing.  Trying my apprentices is another entirely.  Coming after you was evil."  He looked at him.  "Still, we should.  Doesn't mean we have to accept anything from them."  Don nodded at that and they still went to get his ring first.  "So, how much did you make?"

"They spotted me ten gold after I produced my key.  There's spells on there to show the balance, did you know that?"

"I didn't but I figured there probably was.  Not like they're computerized at most branches."  He let him into the sex shop.  "He needs a guiche piercing."

"Do I need to pierce it as well?" the owner asked.

Don shook his head.  "I snapped the ring getting the handcuff key off it.  It's thin and gold."

"How thin?"

"Very.  Thinner than the key."  He summoned the ring and it slid into his hand. "That's what was in there."

He looked before leading him to the case of jewelry, finding a similar one.  "We have white gold, silver, platinum, and regular gold, or goblin gold."

Don looked and considered it, sending a thought at Danny, getting back a laugh.  They were comforting him.  "Danny said regular gold."  He put down a few coins, then sighed and took them back since they were old money and put down one of the modern ones he had with him when he had went to the bank to do that box.  The man looked at the other ones.  "I accidentally went back in time."

"Interesting."  He gave him change and the small case for the earring and the old one.  "Do you need help putting it in?"

"I've got three lovers waiting to pounce on me," he promised with a grin.  "I'm sure I'll have help."  That got a wink and he and Alex headed back to the bank so they could make the nice formal announcement.

***

Danny nearly collapsed.  "He's back," he said, sending it to the others.  Stella rushed in to help him into a chair. "He's back, he's happy. He's all right."  She gave him a hug.  "He'll be home soon."

"He will be," she agreed, cuddling him. "He's all right."  She felt Don's reassurance and the one Danny sent back, smiling at him.  "We'll cuddle him later."  Sheldon walked in and shut the door.  "Problems?"

"Lindsey was wondering if you two were going to need reported.  I'm in here to make sure she doesn't suspect anything," he said quietly.  "Freeze me if you're going to do anything."

"Thanks, Doc," Danny agreed.  "Petrificus Totalis."  He grabbed Stella to pull into his lap.  "I can't figure how to do this and get the hug I want.  You mind getting hugged from behind?"

"Put me on the table, Danny."  He grinned and helped her up onto it on her back.  She wiggled out of her pants.  He slid between her and her clothes, pushing into her and letting her wrap around him.  He groaned and went to town, wearing out the energy he needed to before he popped to London and took Don in the middle of Diagon, then spanked him for worrying them.  Mac slipped in, leaning Sheldon back against the door.  "The other one?"

"Told her it was about the case that Don got trapped by.  That he's back and we're going over what went on."  He kissed Danny since he was loud.  He pushed him forward and took his rightful spot behind him.  "Let me," he whispered in his ear.  "You need it and so do I."  Danny nodded and let him do the lubricating charm so he could have him.  It wasn't his ideal spot for the first time he had Danny this way but they were too desperate to care.  The need was being hyped by the release of the worry and they all needed this.  He pulled a chair over with his wand and sat down, pulling Danny down with him, which pulled Stella down so she could kiss him and keep him silent while they worked to hold and let him release it in a healthy way.  Danny came with a moan against her mouth.  Mac was nice enough to reach around to help her while he finished up in Danny's body.  They slumped together, cuddling Danny.  "He's fine," Mac whispered, stroking Danny's stomach.  Danny nodded, relaxing against him.  "I promise he's fine."

"He's got some scratches and things. I can feel them."

"You're pushing the bond toward him," Stella soothed, making him pay attention to her by petting him.  "Let him go for now.  He's safe.  Alex just appeared.  He's safe and Alex has him, Danny.  Let it go."  Danny nodded, letting go of the intense grip he had on the bond.  He went limp between them.  "Shh, we've got you."  He nodded against her shoulder.  "Once he's done with the few errands, he'll be back here."

"Thanks."

"Welcome."  She stroked his hair and kissed his forehead.  "You can get all new stories tonight."  Someone tapped on the door.  "We're not done yet," she called.

"Okay.  Mac's got a visitor," Lindsey called.

"Tell them it'll be about five minutes," Mac called.

"Sure."  She walked off.

"I told her it was about a case that had happened before she got here," Mac admitted quietly.  Danny chuckled at that.  "Let's get straightened out and unfreeze Sheldon."  Stella climbed off after she untangled Danny, mostly because he went to snake form and slithered out of the way.  He popped back and his clothes were done back up.  She pulled back up hers.  Mac stood up and straightened himself out too.  Then they unfroze Sheldon.  "Sorry."

"I said she could."  He shrugged.  "He's all right?"

"He's fine now," she said happily.  She hugged him.  "Thanks, Sheldon."

"Not a problem, but I'd go clean up a bit more. You kinda smell like Danny's aftershave and sex."  She giggled and went to do that. The boys got a look over.  "Mac, shirt."  He retucked his shirt.  "Okay. Go.  Be happy.  Pounce Don."  They smiled and went to do that.  He went to calm himself down.  It was good that Don was fine.

Mac walked into his office, finding Don's father there. "He's back."

"Where was he?"

"Back in time apparently.  The bank tried to get his trainer for knowing too much and used Don as bait.  He escaped by slipping time."

"I see.  He's fine?"

"He's just gotten back and he's fine," Mac assured him.  "He's in England getting his wand fixed since it snapped.  Alex is guarding him for us."

"Alex.  The one who's training him?"  Mac nodded.  "Isn't that more dangerous?"

"No, because Don sent over a thought saying he took it to a higher goblin power, the people who made the rules for the bank."

"Why was Alex wanted?"

"The case we went to help with was a major theft ring.  Alex figured out how they did it and was able to duplicate it."

"Ah.  Paranoid beings?"

"Goblins? It's part of the definition," Danny said from behind him.  "Don said they're having to do a formal announcement that things are back to normal now and they're very sorry for targeting him and Alex."  He grinned at Don's father.  "He's fine.  He's in a good mood, playful and happy.  He was taunting Alex with something he found back then."

"Good.  He'll be back when?"

"Within an hour.  It takes about forty minutes to get this far."  That got a nod and his father sat down.  "I'll let him know you want to see him before he goes to chew his boss a new one."

"The news only reached me today for some reason," he said once Danny was gone.

Mac nodded.  "We knew he was safe, just not available.  We were hoping he'd be back yesterday and didn't want to worry you or his mother."

"I can understand that.  Will we have to explain anything?"

"No, we let it be known it was about a case that turned out to be a trap, that his boss knew it was a trap.  Danny assured her no one else would know she had made him walk into a trap on purpose and nearly got him killed as long as Don came back."

"That works for me," he agreed.  "It'll make sure the other boys trust her."  Mac nodded at that.  "You're sure he's all right?"

"Danny's had a checking spell and a tight hold on the bond to Don since he disappeared.  That way he'd know the minute he got back.  He's got a few scratches and a tan."  That got a small smile.  He sent a thought at Don, getting back a sigh and a 'tell him I'm good, I'll be over for dinner'.   "He said he's good and he'll be over for dinner."

"He'd better.  His mother is not happy that someone told her and not me."  He stood up.  "I can wait, right?"

"Of course. You want to wait here, over at his desk, or in our break room?"

"His desk is fine."  He went that way, and the other detectives gave him odd looks when he walked in.  He sat at his son's desk and glared at a few who gave him curious looks.

"He's on his way back?" someone called.  Don's father nodded.  "He okay?"

"He's fine and the people who did it are being dealt with.  It leads back to an older case and the proper people have them."  That was as close as he could get to the truth because he knew his son wouldn't let the people responsible get away with this.  His lieutenant came to her door and he looked at her, silently telling her he knew.  She nodded at him and went back to her desk.  Don strolled in.

"You get captured and have to escape, and you get a tan?" one of the detectives complained.

"I was outside for the whole time," he complained back.  "Of course I got a tan.  I'm a pale person and we tan very easily after being outside all the time."  That got some snorts.  He looked at his father.  "What?  Dinner's not good enough?"

"No.  Your mother got told, son."

Don shuddered.  "Well, tell her you saw me and she can fuss tonight when I come home for dinner.  I've got to straighten out how she apparently put me on vacation time for this."  The other guys laughed and he walked into the office, slamming the door.  "So, did Danny chew you a new one good enough or should I start?" he asked dryly.

"I didn't know they wanted to kill you."

"I told you it was a trap and that it was very easily my death. You still sent me."  She nodded.  "Now, about this vacation time stuff?"  She groaned and pulled out the paperwork to fix it and the one for the federal case.  "Thank you.  We gonna have issues or are you gonna leave me alone now about the other stuff?"

"Your other stuff is your other stuff," she promised quietly, looking at him.  "I'm sorry, Don.  They said it was vitally important."

"Yeah, well, I got it fixed after being six hundred years ago."  He took the papers to read over and sign, then handed it back, getting his copy.  "Thanks.  I'm going home.  I've got shit I need ta do.  Including take a real shower.  Bathed in a river last time."

"Go," she agreed.  "Thank you for coming back."

"Yeah, well, next time, I'm bringing you with me," he assured her.  She nodded, getting that.  He walked out, looking at his father. "Let me go shower and change clothes. It's been a while since I had a shower."

"Fine, son.  I'll drive."  Don shrugged.  "You going to see your other friends?"

"Yeah, then I'll go shower and change so Ma can fuss."  He went over there to the CSI portion and found Danny pacing.  "Hey, I'm brilliant," he reminded him. "Of course I got free.  Alex taught me how.  Even if I did kinda mess it up."

"Ya think?" Danny demanded.  "Just a bit!"  Don pulled him closer and gave him a hug.  Danny relaxed. "You're really all right."

"Of course I am."  Stella came out and piled on, and Mac gave him a pat on the back. "Thanks, guys, now get off."  They got off him with a laugh.  Sheldon smiled at him.  "At least you guys tried to keep Danny sane."

"Try being the operative word," Lindsey teased, smiling at him.  "Are you all right?"

"I'm good.  A bit crisp from being outside the whole time, but otherwise okay.  I'm headed to shower, go let my mother scream and rant at me, then I'll be home tonight for our friends to drop by and help me do some laundry and stuff."  He sent a picture of Danny replacing the ring to him, getting a smirk.  "We clear?"  They all nodded. "Good. I'll see you guys tomorrow and some of you tonight."  He walked off with his father.

"I still say someone's going to say something about your extremely close friendship with Messer, son," he said sourly as they walked.

"Dad!"

"Fine.  I'll leave off it."  He led him out to his car and drove him home so he could shower and change.  The landlord came up and he looked at him.  "We just got him back."

"How long was he missing for?"

"Two days," Don called.  "Did you get it?"

"I did.  Thank you. Plus next month's.  You do know your lease is up at the end of that month?"

"I hadn't but we'll make plans so I can let you know."  He headed into the bathroom.  "Thanks."

"Welcome."  He left.

Don's father closed the door.  "Are you moving in?"

"The only thing here is some clothes and furniture.  My broom."  He turned on the shower and sighed in pleasure as the hot water flowed over him.  "Oh, nice after bathing in a river for months on end."

"Will what you did cause problems?"

"Nope.  Find my backpack?"

"It's at Danny's," he called. "Speed called to say so."

"Thought I had sent it there, guess that proves it's home to me."  He got to work scrubbing, because at least some of the tint to his skin was river mud.  He came out pink and a bit less dark, but happy and clean everywhere.  He found a pair of jeans and a t- shirt, then his spare running shoes, coming out to see his father standing there with Gibbs.  "Who sent you up?"

"McGee.  Tony's worried sick but he can't get free since he's testifying."   He looked him over.  "Have fun?"

"Mostly did a lot of what Alex was teaching me in the desert and jungles of India."  That got a small smirk.  "They wanted me to keep out of sight and out of trouble.  That made sure of it."  He stretched and groaned.  "Oh, better."  He fingered his pendant.  "I'm fine, Gibbs, but thanks for worrying."  He grinned at him.  "You can tell the other worrywarts I'm fine too."

"I will.  Send me back to the office?"  Don did the camp moving spell around him, letting him appear in the small park off to the side.  Gibbs called Tony's phone to leave a message.  "He's fine.  Tanned, fit, smiling.  His father has him."  He hung up and went inside, nodding at their temporary director. "Ran out for coffee and they were out."

"Why?"

"I don't know.  They said it'd be an hour."  He went back to his desk, looking at McGee.  "He's fine."  He slumped.  "It's apparently fixed since he's smiling and happy.  His father has him."

"Oh, good."  He smiled and got back to work after IM-ing Abby to tell her the good news, and Harry since he was down there working on something.

***

"What'd you bring me?" Stella asked when Don walked in.  "We didn't touch your pack.  I figured you might have booby trapped it somehow."

"I only got a present each," he offered, opening his bag to undo the packing spell.  It landed around him, Danny banishing the tent and supplies to the front closet.  "Thanks.  The tent needs a hole patched too.  Remind me this weekend?"  They all nodded.  He looked at the first one.  "Well, for the really smart one I brought a book back but he's not here.  So I guess he doesn't want it?"  Speed popped in and took the book, then disappeared.  That got a laugh. He came to Mac's, tossing over the sacrificial knife.  "Nearly got me with that one.  Please keep it away from my chest, okay?"  Mac smiled and nodded, testing the edges, cutting his thumb.  "Yeah, damn sharp."  He handed Danny the new ring and a small, fabric wrapped bundle.  "Your book.  This one is Tony's book, and Horatio's capturing box," he said, putting that aside.  Speed reappeared and got those then disappeared again.  "He's good."

"He is, but he's being like a jack in the box," Stella complained. "Don!"  He grinned and held up something.  She looked at the necklace.  "Shells?"

"Mother of pearl.  They scraped the other end of the shells off to make those."  She smiled. "It's very fragile.  Very, very fragile."  She nodded, going to put it up safely.  He sent something else at her head, getting a squeal.

"How come she gets two?" Danny pouted.

"The other I picked up since you're going to put my new earring back in for me," he said dryly.  "And blow me."

"If that's what you want," Danny agreed with a smirk.

"Yeah, that's what I want.  Haven't had any in six months.  C'mere."  Danny moved over to undress him and looked at the new hole.  "The desert demon that had me put the handcuff keys there.  That way he could always get me undone but I couldn't.  I snapped it earlier taking the key off."  Danny kissed it and put the new ring in, making Don smile.  "Thanks, Danny."

"Did he hurt you?"

"No.  He came in and taunted me. Had his harem come in to tempt me.  He pressed against me a few times, but nothing else.  I never wanna end up with my knees and hands cuffed to the same spot on the headboard."

"Not a problem with us," Mac promised, coming over to kiss him and make sure he was all right.  He had a few scratches but nothing that would scar.  One new scar on his thigh but it was fully healed.  "Claw?"

"Tree," he said bitterly.  "I slipped in the end of the monsoon season."  Mac smiled at that and gave him another kiss while Danny laved it then got down to his blowjob.  Don tensed, then relaxed.  "This I missed.  That and the kisses and the cuddling."  Stella piled into his side to cuddle, sucking on her chocolate lollipop while she watched Mac and Danny play with him.  He opened his mouth and she let him have a lick then kissed him.  He smiled. "I missed you guys.  The horse I was on heard a lot about you guys."  They smiled at that.  "Even if he was fixed and had PMS due to it."  She laughed and kissed him again, then shared on with Mac.

"I used to eat those all the time when I was in school," he teased, kissing her again.  "It'll run in a few minutes."  She got back to it while they kept Don relaxed and happy.

Don finally came and sighed in pleasure.  "Oh, nice, Danny, thank you.  And not even a tree in sight."  He pulled him up to sit in his lap for a minute.  "I missed you.  You would've made jokes about the rainforest in India.  Mac would've told me how to camp easier, and Stella would've kept me cheered up, but I missed you guys."  They piled in to cuddle him.  Her lollipop tried to climb off the stick and she bit the head off, making it scream then die.  It was still good, just not wiggling.  They stayed on the couch, even when Speed popped back in with a dish of food and then left again.

"Someone ate hyper candy," Danny joked.

"Hmm, you," Don taunted, kissing him.  "Mac said you bounced all day in happiness to have me back."  He took another kiss then stood up.  "I wanna dive into someone's ass.  Who's up for it?"

"Not that part of me," Stella teased.  Mac kissed her and gave her a look. "What?"

"Behave."

"Why?  They're in a naughty mood.  "I can be."

"Behave," he ordered, pulling her closer.  She smiled and they followed, watching Danny and Don wrestle for who got on top this time.  She pounced Don and Danny 'ha'ed before grabbing the lube while they kissed.

***

Greg Sanders, out in Vegas, heard Alex whisper his name over the bond that night and moaned.  It was his only night off this week.  So he was cranky when he called back his 'what'.   He moved it to a more private location, their cellphones.  "What's wrong, Alex?"  He listened to him, blinking.  "They can't tell?"  He heard how all cursebreakers showed up a shadow of death on the life meter system that they used to see if he was going to continue to live.  It was an older technology and all cops registered the same way.  "Let me see what I can work up.  We'll see."  He hung up and went down to his lab to work and think.  He hadn't thought that Alex's biological clock mightn't have been reset to his new age.  No one probably did.  At least Alex had a good reason to want to live in Draco.  And whatever Don had tempted him with. Alex had told him Don had said he could only have it if he outlived him but he was mostly worried about leaving Draco alone.  He was a strong enough wizard to live into his two hundreds but so was Draco and he did have a long head start on him.  He found a reference to life meters in one of his books and read it over.

It was a problem he'd be figuring out.  None of the Banes wanted to lose Alex.  He was dynamic and fun, plus a great backup if something happened.  Besides, they didn't want to lose his library either.  He followed the sources and asked Alex to borrow some books, getting two cases next to him a few minutes later.  "Thanks," he called out loud.

"If those were alchemy books, I'm skinning you alive, husband," Emilia called. "Your boss as well as your children and I would like your sunny presence now and then."

He got up and went down to kiss her.  "I know, but they're not strictly alchemy.  They're to help Alex figure out if his biological clock got reset when he got deaged or not."  She looked horrified.  "We're not sure if his body is set at eighty-seven or twenty-three.  It's a big difference in life expectancy, even for us."

She nodded, hugging him.  "Need help?"

"Please.  You're my favorite research assistant."  He led her back up there.  Their kids were with the nanny elf for the next few hours.  Maybe they could find a way to tell for him.  Because none of them wanted to lose Alex.

***

Speed heard the question Don asked Danny and groaned, answering that there wasn't a way to tell in their magic.  That he had done some research on that curse for a paper back in college.  Don had apparently done some when he was stuck back in time and injured after the pegasus drug him.  He looked at Ryan, who was in the lab with him and Eric.  "You know what happened to Alex, right?"

"Recently?"

"The curse," he said quietly.  Ryan nodded, looking at him.  "Is there any way for someone to tell if his body still thinks it's eighty-seven or not?"

"Huh?" Eric asked.

"Way back when, when Harry was about six months old, a curse went off that deaged him," Speed said quietly. "That's why he's the age he is even though he's not.  I know there's no sure way to do it in what I do."

Ryan considered it, then nodded. "There is. There are creatures that can see fates.  Bribe one of them to look at him and see how long he lasts."

"They don't like him," Speed reminded him.  "Not with where he regrew."

"Point.  I'll check into the sources I know, see if there is.  Do you guys work with any wiccans?"

"Holly, Snape's wife.  Lovegood.  Dawn."

"Let me call Dawn. She can get the other sources and the library."  That got a nod and Speed got back to work.  Ryan called her, getting her voicemail.  "A research question has come up.  I need you to get me some sources, Dawnie.  I need sources on the reaging rate of deaging curses because we may have had one down here and we're trying to see how fast they're expected to regrow."  He hung up.  "Not a lie," he said at Eric's look.

"We've had two or three who've done that to themselves, but they wore themselves out and they died of exhaustion," Speed admitted.

"I'm not surprised.  Willow said she looked at the place where it happened and it's still resonating on our bandwidth."

"At least he'll have Draco for however long," Eric said quietly.

"Yeah, but Draco's twenty-one and Alex is nearly ninety originally," Speed said quietly.  Eric groaned at that.  "Even though we live longer...."

"Why?" Ryan asked.

"It preserves us.  You guys wear yourselves out so you don't get the same benefit."

"Crap," he muttered.  "Well, there goes that hope."

Eric looked at him.  "How long have you been doing that stuff?"

"Fourteen."  He bent back down to look in his microscope.

"Care if we ask why?" Speed asked.

"Yup."

"Okay.  Anyone we should be aware of if they come to town after you?"

Ryan looked at him.  "I've lived here all my life, Speed.  They're still here and it was for a decent enough reason."  He got back to work as Calleigh came in.  "Got anything for me?"

"Not a thing.  No matches and the bullet was in itty, bitty pieces when Alexx pulled it out.  Sorry."

He looked at her.  "Not your fault they use cheap ammo.  Got any idea of size?"

"Twenty-five."

"That narrows it down some," he said pragmatically. "Was it cheap ammo?"

"Melted at home and there were air bubbles. One of the pieces had the outline.  I'm surprised it didn't break in the mold."  She handed over the pictures for him.  "For Eric, however, I hit the motherlode."  He grinned back.  "Many uses and owners.  It's like a mythical gun. Whoever has it is somehow compelled to rob and shoot a liquor store owner or do a home invasion and shoot someone there or while getting away."  She handed over that report and smiled at Speed.  "I don't have a thing for you."

"That's probably good since mine was a hit and run," he noted dryly.  She hit him on the arm and he grinned.  "Don's back home."

"Good!  It's only been two days.  Where was he?"

"Way far away.  He even managed a tan," Speed noted dryly. "I popped up to feed him and get my present."

"You expected a present?" Eric demanded, looking amused.

"Of course.  He went on a trip.  I get presents when my friends go on trips," Speed assured him.  Eric just shook his head quickly.  "If you go on one I'll expect something, at least a post card."

"Sure, Speed.  If I ever take a real vacation I'll bring you back pictures and see if I can pack a woman for you."

"No thanks. Your tastes and my tastes in women are vastly different."  Alexx walked in with a report.  "I thought you were going to page me."

"So did I but your phone's saying it's dead."

He pulled it out and frowned, going to pay his bill again.  "Sorry."

"That's fine.  Here, have the report.  She was run over.  I took pictures of the tire tread.  It was a heavier vehicle with small tires.  It shoved her intestines out of her body."

"Is there any way to see how heavy based on the amount spurting out?"

"Nope."  He sighed. "Sorry, Speedy."  She stroked his cheek.  "Is everything all right?"

"Just fine.  Don's home and the bank thing is all fixed."  He grinned.  "Thanks, Alexx.  Anything else I should know?"

"She had bruises in the shape of a ring."

"Someone said she was running, looking like she was running from someone."

"Probably someone who was abusing her with the bruises.  Come see for yourself when your phone starts working again."  He nodded so she walked off.

Speed went to call his phone people and see what had happened *this* time.  This was the third time it had been shut off because they decided he was still dead.  When he was done he walked up into Horatio's office. "The did it again."

"I tried to call you earlier and it was off."  He looked at him.  "Apply for a new social security number."

"I tried, they said it wasn't a good enough reason."   He shrugged. "One of them said it was the duty of the person who brought me back."

Horatio looked at him.  "We'll work it out, Tim.  Have a bit of patience.  Is it back on?"

"No.  Even with the letter they said I'm still dead and this is fraud.  Even talking to one of the supervisors."  Horatio moaned.  "But at least I'm not going to be held liable for the early termination fees."

"That's one bright point," he noted dryly.  "Get one through the city."

"This one is."  Horatio gave him a look.  He held it up.  "Really."

"Go home, let me make some calls in the morning."

"Call the house if you need me.  Not like I'll have any other way."  Horatio nodded.  "Or call Tony and have him call me, or you call me that way."  He walked off shrugging.  "My phone's officially dead," he announced.

"Again?" Calleigh called.

"Yup.  They don't believe I'm alive either."  He looked at her, then at Tony when he appeared, leaning against a wall.  "Cute."

"Thanks."   He grinned.  "Gibbs is tired of listening to me rant.  He said we can help."  He motioned him closer.  "All we need are certain...favors," he offered with a wicked smirk.

"Sex for a working phone?  I'm not quite that desperate, Tony," he taunted.

"Not that one."  He put an arm around his shoulder.  "Gibbs wants to see Kate," he said quietly.  "Just to talk to her."

"We can summon her.  Boss, going home with Tony.  They're fixing it."

"Thank you," drifted down from the office.

"Let me get my stuff from the locker room."  Tony nodded, following him that way.

"Again?" Frank complained. "How often are you down here on cases?"

"I'm picking up Speed.  We're helping him with the fact that no one believes he's alive."  He pouted at him.  "I'm being good.  Even my boss said so."

"Uh-huh.  Yank the other one, I bark."  Tony smiled wickedly and punched him on the arm as he walked past him.  He went to talk to Horatio. "He's really a Fed?"

"NCIS," Horatio agreed, still filling out forms.  "Under Jethro Gibbs."  Frank shuddered, he heard it.  He looked up.  "Tony's very focused on the job but the boy can give Eric a run for his money in the dating game."

"Ooh, goodie."  He walked off shaking his head.  Another bad influence on Speed, just what the kid needed.

"We've been friends since we were eleven," Speed said as he walked past him.  "He was a bad influence a long time ago and I made Tony this way.  Consider the implications."  Frank stared after him, looking confused.

"He did.  He's such a bad influence on me," Tony agreed as he walked past him.  "After all, I nearly settled down once.  Speed kept me from killing my father when he drove her off but he never made me try that hard again."

Frank shuddered and went back to his desk to find his painkillers.  Because the thought that it was *Speed* who was the bad influence was a bad one.

***

Speed finished setting up in Tony's apartment and lit the candles with a flick of his wand.  Tony settled in to focus and chant.  Gibbs was on the couch.  Speed flopped down next to him, taking the identification folder.  "Thanks.  This'll hold up to phone companies?"

"It will.  There's one in there," he said quietly.  A mist started to form.  "Tell me it gets better?"

"It does."  Speed looked at the table and tossed something into the middle of it, something that said 'Kate' to Tony.

"You just *had* to use the bikini, didn't you?" a female voice complained as she coalesced.  "Gibbs, can't you smack him harder?"

"I nearly gave him a concussion one day.  Didn't help, Kate."  He smiled at her.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm pretty good.  Kinda bored."  She smiled at Speed.  "Hi, I didn't get to see you on this side."

"Tim Speedle, Miami."

"Kate Todd, who is going to kick Tony's ass for even *thinking* about that spell."

"Hey, I let Gibbs talk me out of it.  I even started off with asking him to tell me no," he defended, looking up at her.

Gibbs nodded.  "He did, Kate.  Are you okay?  Really okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine.  Actually, I can come back as someone's kid if I want.  So, let's use that spell on Tony and then you can steal me and raise me properly."

"What spell?"

"The one to make men have babies," Speed reminded him.  Gibbs winced at the very thought.

"But he'd be cute when he's all fat and pregnant, Gibbs," Kate whined.  "That way I'm sure to come back for your team."

"Make Abby be a mom," Speed offered.

"Can't.  I'd end up a witch and then really odd.  A goth witch at that."  Tony nodded.  "Yes, she and Harry are for real.  It's cute.  Really, really cute."  She smiled at them.  "So, why the callback?"

"I wanted to see you and talk to you.  Make sure you weren't lingering, bugging McGee since he said he saw you, nothing like that."

"I kept him from having a worse accident, Gibbs.  I like the kid, but I don't want joined yet."

"Then he'd probably thank you even though you messed him up for days," Tony agreed.  "So, Kate, did you ever know about me?"

"I saw the wand but I thought it was your date of the day's hairstick or something.  Floored me when I got up here and found out that you're really powerful and smart.  Could've fooled me on the smart part especially."  He stuck his tongue out.  "You *had* to use the bikini?"

"I had to use something that said you to me."  He grinned smugly.  "So, how's the afterlife?  Speed said his patch of grass was boring."

"It is kinda.  That's why I look over your shoulder.  Oh, did you look at Hersdt's father?"

"I did and he's a dirtbag but he's got an alibi."

"Pity.  The system should've gotten him earlier."

"I'm sure someone up there will," Gibbs said quietly.

"Oh, there's a receiving line *especially* for people like him," she assured him with a sweet smile.  He smirked back.  "I might just go join it soon if I can't get Tony to do the spell.  Oh, did anyone think to warn Don that it was in the open?"  Speed and Tony both moaned and started to call him mentally.  She smiled at Gibbs.  "Needed a hug?"

"Needed to know you're not mad and you're okay."

"I'm not mad and okay is relative.  I'm bored senseless about half the time.  They don't even have board games where I am."  He cracked a smile at that.  "We had naked limbo once but we got in trouble for that."  Speed looked at her, raising an eyebrow.  "Yeah, I know, your section started it, Speed."  She smirked at Gibbs again.  "Think I could go haunt Abby? She's having a moping day."

"Why not, you did right after you died," Tony reminded her.

"No, that was your imagination."

Tony gave her a look.  "Fat fucking chance, Todd. Not like you're my first ghost."  She blushed at that.  "Liked the outfit?"

"When you die, you're getting a special welcoming committee of me and a few of your past girlfriends."  She looked at Gibbs.  "On second thought, can *you* have that spell done so I'm *your* kid?"

"I'll ask my girlfriend if she wants kids," he offered.

"I saw her.  Very nice taste, boss."  He coughed and blushed a bit.  "She is.  Amanda's adorable.  I like her a lot and she appreciates all of you, boat and all."  She looked up. "What?"  She rolled her eyes.  "Guys, I'm being told I'm in trouble."

"Tell them I summoned you back," Tony reminded her.

"That'll get you in trouble."

"No, only if I trapped you down here."  He gave her a look.  "If it becomes necessary to do so to save Gibbs or Probie, expect it."

"Sure, Tony.  I'll come haunt the office like you had your room haunted in your third year."

"She may not have had a head, but she was cute."

"Pig."

"Yeah, well, I was fourteen, Kate.  What did you expect?"  She snorted and smirked at him, then blew a kiss at Gibbs before disappearing.  Another form started and Tony looked at him.  "I know I didn't call you, Toby."

"I wanted to say hi."

"Yay," Speed said, wiggling his fingers.  Toby glared at him.  "Watch out for Kate for us, okay?  She's like Tony's sister. Only non-magical."

"Fine.  Where's Danny?"

"New York," they said together.

"Throat deep on his current boyfriend with the other boyfriend and girlfriend behind him," Tony added.

The ghostly Toby, a friend from school, moaned.  "Why does he still get all the ass?"

"Because he's Danny," Speed reminded him.  "Just think, Dumass was married when they ran into each other."  Toby groaned and faded out.  "Anyone else, Tony?"

"I was trying not to," he assured him.  "Audry's still living and she's on my mind at the moment."  He blew out the nearest candle, breaking the diagram.  He picked up the bikini and tossed it back to Gibbs. "There, it can go back in your closet, boss."

"Thanks, Tony."  He stood up.  "At least I know she's happy."

"She is and she doesn't blame you," Kate's voice called.  "It's not like it wasn't going to happen that day somehow.  Better saving you than another pointless auto accident."

Gibbs smiled at that and it lasted most of the way home.

Speed looked at his new identity and the new phone. It had all the nice bells and whistles.  His social security number was from the same state by the first three numbers. Everything was in there.  He grinned at Tony and went to pop in on Horatio, finding Yelina in there petting Taps.  "If you steal the house elf, you have to go pick out a new one.  I'm not going back there."  She smiled at that.  He handed the packet to Horatio, getting a smile.   "Gibbs wanted to talk to Kate so he arranged it."

"That's fine, Speed."  He checked the number and put it into his phone, then texted it to the number that sent it to all the lab.  "Make sure I fix the paperwork in the morning."  He handed it back and Speed put what needed to go into his wallet.  "Is Kate all right?"

"Just fine, H.  She's not mad at him.  We had a suddenly appearing former classmate too.  He managed to blow himself up brewing an illegal potion after hours."  Horatio smirked at that.  "Heard about Toby?"

"Back then we still had an alumni newsletter.  Did Danny get to the thug?"

"Yeah, and told him he wasn't a real man.  Mac agreed he wouldn't arrest him while he helped those two kids of his but if it lasted any longer he was a goner.  Mac got told he donated the bone marrow earlier today, he'll be leaving the country tomorrow."

"Good.  One less dirtbag on our soil."

"They're going to let him escape?"

"No, we can get him back," Speed assured her.  "Besides, technically he's still listed as dead.  The Chief ME decided it wasn't enough to have a conversation with the dead guy who supposedly committed suicide."  She groaned.  "Exactly.  So we'll be warning wherever he goes to watch out for him. Especially if they have a ministry since Danny's father told him."

"Mexico?" Horatio suggested.

"Probably as first stop."  He yawned.  "I'm tired."

"You should be.  Go home."

"Sure."  He popped home and curled up on his couch, secure and comfortable there.  His new phone landed on the table in front of him but he was already asleep by then.

Horatio looked at Yelina.  "We took some unorthodox shortcuts in Ray Jr.'s education, Yelina.  I'm not going to lie.  The day they broke in here, he skipped realms and the terrible trio taught him while in their teens.  Before they were split up by college."

"Was that dangerous?"

"Slightly but now that he's trained, it can't happen again without specifically training himself to do that."

"Good.  He'd better not."  She leveled a look at him. "Is he considered fully trained?"

"He is.  I made him take the Canadian equivalency exam and he did pass.  He told them how and why.  He's still under my careful watch however.  What did he do this time?"

"Turned the person trying to sneak into his room into a turtle.  I made him turn him back so we could call the police."

"Eric turned Rick into a fish, don't feel bad."

"Eric practices?"

"No, Eric had an accident," he admitted.  "He's like Willow but he doesn't practice and he doesn't use it.  It's dormant in him."

"Rick said something about his sister?"

"Apparently.  Eric nearly exploded the next time and we had to sedate him for an hour."

"I saw the nap.  It's under control?"  He nodded. "Good."  She smiled at the house elf napping against his side.  "He is adorable."

"He's a house elf."

"I read the books.  Is he free like Dobby was?"

"Dobby wrong and bad," Taps said, waking up and looking at her. "Good house elves serve, like Taps does.  Dobby *bad* and *wrong*!"

"Calm down, Taps, she doesn't understand," Horatio said quietly.  The house elf slumped.  "We'll never give you clothes."  He nodded and smiled at him.  "Can you get me another bottle of water?"  He nodded and went to do that.  "They were bred and born to do this, Yelina.  This is what they want to do, what they feel they're right doing.  There's a shortage of good homes at the moment as well."

"I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to upset you.  I only read those books."

"Taps understand.  Missus Yelina is not a witch, not raised with having house elves.   Missus Yelina will learn."  He looked at Horatio.  "Taps clean the bathroom?" he asked hopefully.

"Go clean Ryan's place but be careful.  He's a wandless wizard.  He might have things in progress."  He nodded and disappeared with a snap of his fingers.  "That's their favorite thing to do, clean."  He sipped his water.

***

Willow squeaked when the thing appeared next to her, staring at it.  "You're not the demon I was trying to call to eat my keeper."

"No, I is being Taps, the house elf.  Master Horatio sir said to come clean here."

"Oh, okay. Sorry, I've only seen one of you."

"It is being all right.  Taps is used to strange Americans now.  Taps is being petted by those who aren't wrong and all sorts of strange customs."  He went into the kitchen and frowned.  "No messes."

"No, Ryan's a clean person by nature."  Ryan walked in and looked at her.  "Hi," she said with a sweet grin.

Ryan looked at the little creature.  "You are?"

"Taps."

"Oh, you're a house elf.  Man, the thing they had on the movie doesn't look a thing like you."  He patted him on the head.  "Clean up the magic ingredients in front of Willow, put them back properly, and vacuum please."  He pulled her up to look at her. "You can't summon something to eat me.  It's wrong.  That would make you a bad Willow again."  She pouted.  "It was an accident that I left you handcuffed."

"But..."

"No buts.  Try it again and I'm bringing you back to Angel.  Or worse, sending you to Spike."  He had heard all about them through Speed, who had talked to Aiden.

"Fine," she said with a pout.  "You still left me handcuffed."

"It was still an accident."  He sat her down and looked at the house elf. "Can you do laundry tonight?"  He nodded.  "Thanks."  Ryan took off his shirt.  "I spilled sucrose solution and something that's like superglue."  The house elf cooed and took it to clean it.  He looked at her.  "You're being bad."

"But...."

He held up a finger.  "You're being bad.  You promised Nick and them that you were going to stay good.  I think you need to meditate and find your center again.  Before I have to get in on the bindings."  She pouted but went to do that.  He tightened the watcher he had on her magic and went to make himself something for dinner.  The house elf came out and washed his hands before taking the food from him and making it himself.  "Okay, I'll go read."  He went to do that.  Taps brought him his dinner and a bottle of beer then went back to doing laundry. "Hey, Taps, is it hard or expensive to get one of you and upkeep you?"

"No, sir.  House elfs are being kept at the house elf shelter when they are being given clothes."  He came out.  "There was many house elfs at shelter in Britain.  Taps was there for nearly three whole years."

"Why?"

Taps hung his head.  "Taps was a bad house elf.  He only did seven loads of laundry one day and dishes.  Not scrub toilet or bathtub every day like Master wanted.  Taps was given shirt for it."  He sniffled, looking at him.  "Taps made many baby clothes at shelter but Taps wanted to serve another family.  This is strange American family but Taps will serve faithfully.  Would Master sir like Taps to scrub bathroom again?  Walls are being smelly with chemicals."

"I bleach it."

"Taps uses natural cleaners but much stronger."

"Go ahead if it makes you happy," he assured him with a smile.  "Is there a shelter in Miami?"

"One in LA, one in Chicago and one in New York, Master sir."

"I'll have to think about that.  Do you guys eat a lot or cost a lot to rescue?"

"No, Master sir.  Small fee that goes toward cloth so freed house elfs can serve someone while waiting for families. House elfs live on scraps.  We very cheap to keep."

"But most of you guys like to clean?"  Taps nodded so hard his ears flapped.  Ryan smiled.  "I'll definitely have to think about it.  Would they mind serving me since I'm a chaos wizard?"

"No, master sir.  Most of us not care as long as masters or missuses is being good to house elfs.  House elfs only want to serve.  As long as they're not wrong people who touch us bad ways."

"I'd never do that.  I don't even touch Willow that way.  Thank you, Taps, and you did a good job with dinner."  Taps beamed and went to finish the shirt and dry it so he could make sure the stains were gone, then he went to scrub the bathroom and take that nasty bleach smell away.

"House elves are for rich wizards," Willow said patiently.  "Xander's probably got three or four."

"Hey, Taps, how many house elves does Dumass have?" he called.

"Fifteen or twenty at all houses."  He came out wearing a fume mask and long rubber gloves.  "House elfs is not being helping with unicorns though.  They are sacred to us."  He went back to his cleaning, whistling happily.

Willow moaned, hiding her face. "He's collecting house elves now instead of comics.  They've got to be bored."

"Not with the size of his library," Ryan said dryly.  "The castle is bigger than the station and it's got a joined tower system of libraries that's got more books than the Miami Public Library system."  She whimpered at that.  "They've been collecting books for a long time."  She shook her head and went back to her meditation while he ate and thought.

***

Ryan walked into Horatio's office and shut the door.  "Horatio, is it wrong of me to want a house elf of my own?"

"Probably not.  If they'd serve you I don't see why not."

"Taps cleaned my shower the moment I got out.  The whole house is so spotless my OCD is happy.  I only had to shift two things back into position and I had dinner made for me.  It's better than a wife and I wouldn't have to give out sex."

Horatio smiled.  "I'll find out where the shelter is for you."

"Thank you.  Oh, I've got to send Willow to see her friends before she drives me nuts.  She tried to summon a demon to eat me at work yesterday."

"Bring her here, Ryan.  Let me have a talk with her."

"Thank you!"  He summoned her, making her squeal as she fell onto the couch.  "Tell me where the one in LA or Chicago is since I might have to end up there?"

"Just don't go alone.  Even Gibbs nearly came home with one."

"Sure."  He went to consider that and see how much it really cost to keep a house elf.  Speed should know.

Horatio glared at Willow, making her shrink down.  "What would have happened if the demon had gotten loose in the station?"

She whimpered.  "I wasn't going to let it."

"It's clear you're not as reformed as you think," he said patiently.  "I cannot let you harm Ryan, Willow, or anyone else."

"But...he...."

"No.  You're a present danger to Miami," he said firmly.  She slumped again, looking down and nodding.  "I'm going to talk to a few people to see what we are going to do with you this time.  You are not to move."  He pulled his wand and stuck her there.  "Am I understood?"

"Yes, Lieutenant."

"Good."  He sat back and called Danny and Don to talk to them.  Alex had been too soft on her the last time. Friendship was like that. He watched her pout but he didn't care.  She was endangering his staff and his city. It was not allowed. Tony suggested a boot camp situation but he pointed out she probably couldn't make it through.  Besides, she didn't need to learn how to hunt better, just needed a heavier hand.  Danny said to send him to Chicago after a brief absence.  That Spike and Sirius were waiting to deal with her for a bit.  She'd be surrounded by kids half her age who were twice as powerful at their weakest and could serve as a good lesson.  Horatio nodded at that.  He looked at her.  "You're going into the custody of Spike and Sirius for a few weeks," he said calmly.  "While there, they will drill you in control and you will be helping them with their students who share the same lack of impulse control as you do."  She opened her mouth and he froze her.  "Tough, Willow Rosenburg.  I cannot allow such a menace to stay in Miami.  Off you go to Chicago."  He sent her that way with a flick of his wand then put it back.  He sent a text message to Ryan to tell him what had been decided and got back a 'thank you' and a 'can you go to the shelter with me'.  He sent back a 'no'.  Then he got back to work.

***

Ryan frowned at the last one and looked at Speed.  "Are you sure I can't go alone?"

"Do you need three hundred house elves?"

"No.  One would be really great though."  He looked around. "Think I could bring Eric?"

"He'll stop you from bringing home ten or twelve," Calleigh said as she walked in.  "Why do you want one?"

"Because I woke up this morning, my house was perfectly clean, everything but my shampoo and my brush were in place, and I had breakfast waiting on me.  It's like having a wife but I don't have to put out for sex or buy anniversary presents.  My OCD purred in happiness because Taps cleaned without using the bleach but even with a swab and a microscope I couldn't find anything on the bathtub."  She rolled her eyes at that.  "Sorry!"

"Actually, a house elf might help your OCD calm down," Speed admitted.  "You will have to teach them about guns.  We had to with Taps when he found Don's."  That got a nod and a shrug.  "Okay.  Ask someone else to go with you.  I've had my heart-wrenching moment of the year already."  He turned puppy eyes on Calleigh.

She looked at Ryan and shook her head.  "No, I'd come home with one or two of my own.  I did the last time I went to the pound."

He slumped and went to find Eric.   "Can you go to the shelter with me?"

"Like getting a pet?" Eric asked.  "Would your cleaning thing allow that?"

"Like the big, floppy eared one that Speed has now and then.  He cleaned better than I can."

Eric patted him on the back.  "We'll go after work," he promised.  Ryan smiled and went back to work.  A few hours later he looked at Speed.  "Should I worry?"

"It's pitiful.  The pitiful is so strong it seeps into your bones.  Gibbs nearly cracked and brought home a house elf.  H nearly cracked and brought one home."  Eric shivered.  "Just be strong and remind him he doesn't need more than one."

"Sure.  Thanks."  He'd keep that in mind.

***

Don was stopped in the corridor of the station by his cult member.  "What's up?  New problems?"

"More a question of faith," he said quietly.  "I know some have asked you to finish their transformation."

"And I'm nearly ready to do that.  I've studied up on it and I've done all the backgrounds, all that stuff."  The officer smiled.  "What else was going to be asked?"

"The most glorious spell has come to us, one that would allow us to fully serve you, Father.  We were wondering if it was wrong."

Don blinked.  Then held up a finger.  "Come to dinner with me and Danny, bring it."  He nodded, going off to tell the priests that.  He went off on a mental blue streak.  His cult had picked up the pregnancy spell somewhere.

Stella's 'well, that would allow them to avoid women' made it worse.  He went to sulk at his desk thanks to that.

Ouches.

Don looked at the spell, then at the man in front of him.  "Okay, after careful discussion with Danny and others with certain gifts, the only ones who could pull it off would be those like us."

"Those with the pointy things?" he suggested since they were in public.  Danny nodded, sipping his beer.  "There are a few of us within the order."

"Okay.  They'd have to do it all on their own and I'd *insist* on medical people to take charge in case something happened.  So far, this has only been used on animals and a few humans."

"I understand and that is reasonable.  But it would not bother you?"

Don looked at him.  "The very thought bothers me," he admitted. "But I also know why certain same-sex couples would go to this length."

"Are you planning on trying it?" he asked hopefully.

"We've agreed, it'll be a long time before there's toddlers in our lives," Danny noted patiently.  "With our lives, it's too dangerous at the moment."

"That, again, is reasonable."  He smiled at them.  "I'll bring these points back to the highers.  Are there any other precautions?"

"Um, yeah, the whole press thing?  Can't advertise it."

"We would keep it a mystery of the greatest secrecy."

Don and Danny both grinned.  "Then I can't stop you from trying it," Don pointed out.  "It's still going to creep me out, just the thought makes me never wanna have sex again, but if they want it that badly I can't stop them."

He nodded.  "It is odd, it took our high priest many nights of thought before he was comfortable with even the option of that design."  He smiled gently.  "Could I get a more personal favor?  I can't find a good blue suit, Father."

"You try my guy?"

"I have but I come out looking like a school teacher."

Danny grinned.  "Hilfiger."  The man beamed and nodded.  "Smaller shoulders on the jackets. More narrow in the waist."  The man wrote that down.  "Any other help we can give?"

"Would Tony be willing to help us shop again?"

"You can write him.  I'm not sure how his schedule is coming.  Right now his job is really odd.  They've got a temporary director because theirs went insane and all sorts of stuff."

"It happens I suppose.  What of your boss?"

"My boss?  We've handled it between us.  It's all good again.  You guys leave her alone."

"As you will it," he agreed, smiling gently at him.  "How is the changeling's change going?"

"She's doing okay.  Your guys with the pointy sticks see the game?"

"He did and he cheered most heartily for you both," he said proudly, looking at Danny.

"I was deep into my case of the day," he admitted dryly.  "My replacement was Don's sister."

"Ah, we thought her familiar."

"Taught her everything I knew way back in school," Danny said with a wicked grin.  "Including letting her steal books off me.  She was the evil woman in the house."  That got a quiet giggle.  "Anything else we can do for you guys tonight?"

"Well, there is one problem." He looked at Don.  "One was not caught.  He is in Miami.  We cannot give them proof.  We can't prove he's done anything.  We only suspect but he is one who does shoot off his mouth about women and their inferiority."

"This weekend, text me," Don ordered.  That got a happy, beaming grin for that privilege.  "I'll get one of the guys from Miami up so you guys can talk about him."  That got a nod and he made a note of that as well.  "Anything else?  If not, I've gotta go spoil Mac.  He's asscheek deep in paperwork again."

"No, I thank you for your time, Father.  And you as well, Protector."

"It's nothin'. You guys know you can come to us with the big things," Danny reminded him.  "Just not when I'm in the middle of a test."  That got a happy wiggle and a nod.  "Good.  Then we're gonna go pull Mac outta the office for dinner.  You have a good night. Don, get the check?"

"Why is it my turn?"

"I got the last seven."

"You've got money."

Danny stared at him.  "You brought home *what*?"

"Point.  Let me get the check," he said, going to find their waitress and doing that.  He grinned and waved.  Danny smiled and nodded before he left too.  Don walked him outside and down the street together, looking like two friends.  "That went okay."

"It did," Danny agreed.  "Even though it's still odd to you, you're doing pretty good."

"Thanks."  He grinned at him. "You really taught my sister demonology?"

"Yup.  More like we accidentally left the books out and she taught herself, but we did fill in and solve a problem she was having.  Your sister's got a crap hand at drawing diagrams.  She nearly got the school eaten twice."

"Huh.  I should tell Ma on her."

Danny nudged him, shaking his head.  "She's over it now."

"Maybe.  Did you notice her ex is missing?"

"I had.  I was wondering if he and Sonny were on the same plane to Mexico, with a change in Miami."  Don smirked at him. "Hey, Mac only said he was safe in New York while he was helping those two kids of his.  Anywhere else?"  He cackled.  "Totally fair game."

"Cool."  He nudged him back.  "Buy me an ice cream?"

"Sure, I'll buy you an ice cream," he promised, taking him to do that.  He spoiled Don horribly but it was making him happy and a happy Flack gave better blowjobs later.

"I heard that," Don said as he licked.  "We'll see. You could ask."

Danny leaned closer.  "I'm having thoughts of you, me, your ass opening, and your throat bein' filled," he whispered.  Don shivered.  "Sound good?"

"So good," he moaned.  He let Danny have a lick as they went to pick up Mac.  "Think we should treat him first?"

"We should, his birthday's tomorrow and he's still hiding it from us."

"How do you read him so well?"

"Not hard.  His shields are down slightly on my side.  I'll show you tonight."  They headed back inside and down to the CSI section, going to pounce Mac and make him give up on the paperwork for the night.  They found one of the female ADAs in there purring at him and smiling with her shirt halfway unbuttoned.  "Yo, Mac, drinks?" Danny offered from the doorway, lounging in it.

"Give me ten?"

"Of course."  He grinned at the ADA.  "Hey.  Which case?  Am I going to have to testify?"

"No, not about a case.  More an FYI," she admitted, gathering up her things and smiled at him.  "Dinner next week to talk about the upcoming one, Taylor?"

"If I'm free."  She smiled and nodded, leaving it there.

"Fat chance in hell," Don assured him as he walked in.  "You charge a hell of a lot."  Mac blushed at that, shaking his head.  "Put down the pen or else I'm going to have to let Danny have the rest of my ice cream."

"Why?" he asked cautiously.  Danny obscured the windows and closed the door, getting that too.  Don handed him his ice cream cone and then strolled over, undoing his collar and loosening his tie.  "Don, we're at work."

"No one can see.  As long as you don't scream, it's all good."  He kissed him and then slid to his knees, undoing the tight belt.  "Someone's gained some weight too I see."  Mac moaned and leaned back, letting him do whatever he wanted.  "Good boy, Mac."  He bent his head to tease and play with him.

Danny licked the cone slowly, watching him.  "So much better than paperwork, right?"  Mac looked at him then swallowed.  "You know, the more times we have to come rescue you from the office, the more he's going to treat you like our toy."  He took another long, slow lick up it.  Someone knocked on the door behind him.  "In a meeting."

"About what?" Lindsey called.  "Is there a case going against me?"

"No," Mac called, hoping his voice didn't sound like he was panting for air, because he was.  Don was just too good at sucking on him.  "Personal stuff."

"Oh, okay.  I'm done with the Gibbons case."

"Leave it there, I'll get it for him in a few," Danny called, taking another lick and smirking at Mac.  "See what naughty things happen when you do paperwork all night?"

Mac nodded frantically, stroking over Don's head.  He was mentally chanting not to grab his hair, not to thrust too hard, not to choke him.

Don looked up at him.  "You're noisy tonight.  Grab on.  Danny does," he said dryly, going back to it with a slurp.  Mac's right hand was put into his hair and it broke him.  His hair was carded through by the fingers and his head pushed down, directing him how Mac wanted it this time.  The hips lost control soon after, thrusting up, giving him a sore throat but he could handle that.  He swallowed and Mac let out a strangled noise, coming into his throat.  Don coughed a bit but swallowed.  He pulled up and licked him clean before putting him back.  "We all go home on time unless it's a bad case," he said patiently, making Mac look at him. "Even you."

"Even me," he agreed, panting slightly now.  "I'm sorry.  I knew you went to dinner with one of your cult members."

"We did.  He had some questions," Don admitted, leaning on his thighs.  "Things like that spell getting into the open and if it'd be okay.  We talked about all that stuff and we're cool."  Mac smiled and ran his fingers through the dark hair again.  "You ready to go eat?"

"I don't think I can move."

"If you slept at night it might help," Danny noted.  "You sleep less than I do, Mac.  On your couch."  He groaned but got up and walked over to his couch, letting them tuck him in for a nap.  "We'll be here with dinner when you get up."  Mac nodded and settled in, letting Don's mind soothe him into a nap.  He needed a nap.  He deserved a nap after that sort of cell-bursting orgasm.  Don came over to sit above his head for a few minutes, making sure he truly fell asleep.

Danny smiled once Don moved to sit in the corner and read, opening the door to get the folder, finding Lindsey standing there, frozen.  "Someone hex you?" he asked blandly.

"You...  Mac....  He..."  She swallowed.  "Don?"

"He's reading.  We were talking.  Your imagination is running wild due to lack of sleep," he said slowly and clearly.  "If you don't believe me, go ask Sheldon how bad lack of sleep is on you."  She nodded and ran that way, going to talk to him.  He grabbed the folder and sat down behind the desk to look at it, frowning some.  "Damn it."

"What?" Don asked quietly.

"I don't think she ran this right.  I don't want to hand this to him when he wakes up."

"You're not the supervisor and you can't hand Stella files," Don reminded him.  This had happened before and Stella had chewed him a new one about usurping her authority.  Mac had backed her up.  Danny carefully put it in the middle of the desk and leaned back in the chair, dialing for dinner. Stella walked in and Don smiled.  "He's sleepy."

"I can tell."  She smiled at them.  "Lindsey's nearly crying, Danny."

"She stood there. I obscured things but she must've been listening pretty closely to hear it."

"Yeah, Mac's not that noisy. Is that her case?"

"Yup, but if I hand it to you, you'll get mad and I'll have to defend myself again," Danny said dryly.  Stella raised an eyebrow.  "I'm not sure she ran the right tests."

"Crap."  She came over to look, frowning.  "Okay, one I can see.  One I ...can't."  She looked at Mac, then at him.  "I don't wanna usurp."

"Me either," Danny admitted.  "I didn't the last time."  His phone rang and he listened.  "Yup, that's us.  Taylor's office at CSI.  Yup.  That's fine.  That card work?"  He grinned. "Even better.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Our chinese place takes text orders."

"Wonderful news," Don agreed happily.  He looked at Stella.  "Will it endanger the case?"

"Probably not."  She glanced at Mac, then took it and went to check on Lindsey.  "Hey."  The girl gave her a scared look.  "Whatever you think you heard, forget it."  She nodded, swallowing.  "Really."

"How... a trio?  I thought you and Mac and...."

Stella shrugged.  "Your assumptions aren't going to be verified today, Lindsey.  Not in the least."  She groaned at that.  "Drop it."

"Yes, Stella.  Is that my case?"

"Since Mac's napping I decided I'd save him some paperwork for tomorrow by signing off on it.  I wanted to ask you about two of the tests before I did that."

"Sure, we all know you're second in command in the labs.  Unlike the time that Danny got onto my case about a case."

"Yeah, but he was right," Sheldon reminded her.  She glared at him.  "Wasn't he?"

"Well, yeah."

"This time I wanted to make sure I'm reading what you did right," Stella offered more gently.  Lindsey sighed and nodded, walking her back to her desk to go over it with her. She explained why she had done those unorthodox tests and why their results should be considered valid.

Sheldon rolled his eyes.  "Hopefully this won't go bad."  He looked toward the office and texted Don that he didn't know Mac had a frosted windows setting for his office.  The windows cleared like they had only been fogged up.  He smiled and went back to work.  Danny and Don were going over case files together while Mac napped and they guarded him jealously.  Because no one was going to wake Mac up before he was good and ready to wake up with those two guarding him.

***

Horatio smiled as the plane disembarked, looking at the man coming off.  "Sonny Sassone," he said plainly.  "Welcome to Miami."  He looked horrified.  "I believe you know why we're all here?"

"But...  No new warrant."

"Oh yes, a new warrant."

"But, Taylor...."

"You're not helping your children and you're not in New York, Sonny.  Next time, take a direct flight."  He waved the officers forward.  "If you would please cuff Mr. Sassone on homicide, corruption, bribery, and RICO charges, gentlemen."  They nodded, taking him then and there.  Then they waited for the other one getting off.  It was a regular fun event at the airport.  They got the other guy who was jumping bail and drove them back to the station, Horatio sending back happy thoughts to Danny and Don since he could feel that Mac was taking a nap, finally. That man never slept.  They got back there and they were taken to interrogation rooms while their fingerprints were checked, just in case.  Horatio looked at Sonny, smirking slightly.  "Are our accommodations better or worse than New York's, Sonny?"

"Better.  You've got sun in yours."  He grimaced. "That rat told you where I'd be?"

"No, Mac told me where you'd be.  New York and Miami work *very* closely together on many things.  Mac's promise was that you would be safe from him while you were helping your two children and that was all he promised.  Since you've helped them and you're not in New York, you're fair game."  Sonny groaned.  "We will have it noted that you recently underwent a medical procedure so you won't be in general population for a while, but that's as nice as we can make it."

Speed walked in and handed over a file.  "He's still listed as dead but there's a note saying that there's evidence he faked his death and the body in his grave isn't his.  The Chief ME's note said he refused to reopen the case.  The arrest warrant was gotten through the judge with the proof that he was alive.  Which was taken after he got out of surgery."

"You," Sonny sneered.

"Yeah, me," he agreed happily, beaming at him.  "Ain't life grand?  I was really dead there for a bit.  You didn't even manage that."  Sonny gaped.  "By the way, while you're in Miami, I'm going to make sure you have a nice stay.  Just because you tried to implicate Danny to Taylor."  He moved closer. "He didn't even have to tell us.  We heard it from Taylor himself."  Sonny moaned, he knew that had been a bad play once he had played it.  "Exactly, Sonny.  Feel really lucky Tony's not down here tonight."

"Why? Gonna miss his dick up your ass?"

"No.  I can get anything I want," he said smugly, smirking at him.  "You may think you get the bitches but I've got a coworkers who gets them by the handful every night, three and four times a night, Sonny.  Hell, I get at least two a night whenever I wanna go out. All that and any dick I want."  He went pale. "I'm sure you'll enjoy being the big protector," he cooed, pinching him on the cheek.  "I'm sure some little boy will just *love* having you do him for the rest of your very short life.  Because they will *all* know that you tried to implicate a clean cop."  He stood up again.  "Or maybe they'll send you somewhere that you won't have human contact for twenty-three hours out of the day.  That way you don't have to worry about retaliation."  Sonny shuddered at that.  "I know, it's a tough thing being a Tanglewood boy, but yay.  Just think of all your boys you'll be seeing."  Horatio snickered at that.  "Seriously.  Mac brought down almost all of Tanglewood."  He patted Sonny on the head, nearly getting bitten for it.  "Naughty bitch.  I don't know where that mouth has been."  He strolled off.  "I'm going to call Danny and have phone sex with him.  Have fun in lockup tonight."

"That was cruel."

"Speed enjoys so few things," Horatio noted dryly.  "We let him have the happy moments so he has some lightness in his gloom."  He looked at the officer coming in.  "Confirmed?"

"Absolutely, sir, and New York is already salivating for this one and the other one."

"Good.  Set them in the nicer accommodations.  Mr. Sassone here donated bone marrow to his child the other day.  He's post-op."

"That's fine, sir.  We can stick him in solitary."  He hauled him up and saw the wince, checking his shoulder.  "I can lead you by the other arm," he noted professionally, walking him off on the other side.  They wouldn't let him have any chance of calling abuse on them.

Horatio smirked and sent that back to Danny and Don as well, getting happy thoughts from Tony too.

***

Tony cackled and saluted McGee with his coffeemug.  "Another one for the good guys.  Horatio just sent a message saying they got Sassone while he was running for the border."

Gibbs smirked over at him.  "Can they hold him?"

"Yup.  Mac got a warrant through a judge.  The judge thought it was nice they gave him enough time to protect his kids."  Gibbs smirked harder at that.  "So yeah, and they got a bail jumper too."  McGee chuckled at that.  Tony hit himself on the head.  "Probie, look up past arrests, see if he had any and who bailed him out."

"On it," he agreed happily.

Gibbs nodded.  "That's a good idea.  That's usually family or close friends."

"Or girlfriends or boyfriends," Tony agreed. "Real friends are in the cell with you."

"Two days in the brig for drunk and disorderly.  Our private was singing off key as he walked back to his barracks with two friends.  They all got two days and reprimanded, plus the crap jobs according to the report.  Stated just like that, boss."

"I'd have made them dig a lot of latrines, preferably while they had the hangovers," Gibbs agreed.  "Track the friends.  See if they're still alive."

"They are, but they're deployed," McGee said a few minutes later.  "One's in Afghanistan, one's in Japan.  There's a note here saying the one in Japan left his wife and young daughter here.  She's at Norfolk with her family according to dependent records."

"She'd probably know him," Tony agreed, getting up and grabbing his bag and gear.  "Let's go talk to her."

McGee nodded and printed out the file, heading after him.  "I'm driving."

"If you must," Tony sighed.  "At least we won't wreck."

"Ziva's learning."

"Yay," Tony said as the elevator opened, nodding at Ziva as she limped off.  She had been haunting the office pretending to not be injured for the last few days.  "Did Ducky threaten to spank you for coming back early?  He did that to me twice this year alone."  They got on and headed out.

She growled and hobbled over to her desk.  "He won't sign me off either."

"Ducky is a man of incredible sense," Gibbs agreed dryly.  Abby came bouncing up and stood at parade rest in front of his desk, drawing his attention.  "Good news?"

"Mediocre news but I've got a date tonight."  She beamed.  "DNA is back in," she said, handing over that report.  "It's him, it matched, no other samples.  Hair on the body was llama.  Gray llama.  Peruvian gray llama if I want to get specific.  Fungus under his nails were mushrooms, garden variety like you'd get from a store pre-chopped.  Do you think the pink thong with the black vinyl skirt or the blue, sparkly thong with the black velvet skirt tonight?"

Gibbs frowned at her.  "I doubt he'd do more than blush at either of them," he noted dryly.  "Ask Tony."

"I can't, he's gone.  Maybe I should call Stella and ask her opinion."

"Well, at least she's female," Gibbs noted dryly.  "Wear something that won't make him blush.  Is the ballistics done?"

"Yup. No match to anything anywhere that I could find.  All the tissue samples are done and back with Ducky, who's having a laugh riot in his lab because he's listening to a comedy CD.  Someone sent him a Blue Collar Comedy Tour cd and he's lovin' it.  Are you sure the pink one wouldn't go okay?  I mean, it's got a bat-cat on it and everything."

"Abby!"

"Sorry, Gibbs."  She shrugged.  "Not like I've got a girlfriend here I can ask," she pouted. "I don't want to traumatize Harry but I do want him to gape in awe and pounce me, maybe with handcuffs and maybe without, but I am hoping for a good pounce again.  Last time on the grass at the castle was really cool and the time in the library was great too, but I'm looking forward to a good, long pounce and then a cuddle.  That's why I'm going for the thong instead of the normal panties and shorter skirt.  Harry likes me in the gothic velvet vampiress look.  Then again, Alex has known some.  Harry even had pictures and he found me a dress just like Druscilla's.  He said she was a flake, but she was apparently a great vamp.  Hmm, maybe the red thong and the new purple skirt...."

"Go text Stella," he said, waving a hand.  "I didn't need that mental image."  She nodded, bouncing back down there to do that, then get dressed in what she suggested.  Stella was nearly as good a shopping buddy as Kate had been; even though she didn't really like the goth stuff she helped her a lot.

Gibbs put down his head for a moment.  "Why didn't I retire?"

"Because the country needs you," Ziva reminded him, sounding patient.  "Can't I help?"

"Find out where Peruvian gray llamas come from in the Norfolk area."

"Yes, Gibbs."  She got to work on her computer while he pulled his mind back together again.  Because even she was traumatized by the mental images Abby presented.

***

Mac woke up and most of the lab was dark.  He sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes.  "What time is it?"

Don patted his hair gently, smiling at him.  "Nearly two.  Your dinner's cold but it's chinese and in the fridge."  Mac nodded at that, letting out another yawn.  "Wanna go home?"

"Please.  Danny?"

"Already sacked out on the couch.  Stella drug him off to give her wrists a workout."  Mac smiled at that.  "She's sore from the body earlier."

"I was too."  He stood up and put away the emergency blanket, straightening up.  He looked at the folder, flipping through it.  "Stella signed off?"

"Yeah.  They had a talk about eavesdropping too.  Since you were so cutely cuddled up with the blankie and all," he teased.  Mac frowned at him.  "Come on, let's get you home.  It's your turn to put up with the noisy one."  He led him out, taking him out to where they apparated from, getting them both home.  "Horatio called.  He arrested Sonny in the airport when he got off for his layover, plus another guy who was jumping bail."  Mac smiled at that.  "Need a shower?"

"No, I'll take one in the morning, after you've all gone to work since I'm off."  He yawned.  "I don't know why I'm so tired."

"Because you never sleep."  He walked him into the bedroom and got him undressed, tucking him in then doing himself so he could snuggle between Mac and Stella.  "Night."

"Night, Don.  Was Danny curled up under the lamp in the living room?"

"Yup. He was basking."  He snuggled in and Mac smiled, letting himself be used as a pillow.  Stella sniffled and moved closer, glueing herself to his back with one arm over Mac's waist.  "Night, Stell."

"Night," she mumbled, blowing a kiss.  "Danny?"

"Living room."

"Danny!" she called more loudly.  He trudged in and curled up behind her, their backs together.  She smiled and went to sleep again.

Mac and Don shared a smile.  Danny hadn't woken up but he did respond to orders.  They snuggled in, Don shifting so he could put one hand on Danny's waist over Stella's hip.  It was all good then.  Mac lasted a few more minutes, admiring the prettiness of the trio in his arms.  They did look very good together.  Stella thumped him on the head for thinking too loud and he quit thinking, letting her go back to sleep and drifting off again.

***

Danny sat up with a yawn, looking out the window.  "Oh, shit."

Don groaned and gave him a hard shove.  "No swearing in bed unless I'm buried balls- deep in your ass."

"Don, what time is it?" Danny asked patiently.  "I can't see the clock."  The sun was way too high, he knew it had to be near ten at least.

"Glasses?" Stella mumbled.  She looked then sat up with a swear, heading into the bathroom.  "We're late!"

Danny and Don trudged after her, heading to shower too.  Don got a look at the clock and winced. It was nearly noon.  He even did the responsible thing and called his boss.  "Sorry, alarm wasn't set, boss."  He listened to her tirade.  "Sorry!  No, I'm not at home.  I'm with my friend.  My watch wasn't set."  He hung up on the rest of it.  He could always claim the call was dropped.  He climbed into the shower, taking the brush from Danny's hand to do his own back, and his since Danny was glaring.  A morning Danny was not a happy Danny.  They all knew this.  There was a reason why Danny got the coffee *first*.  Even before Gibbs when the whole group was together.

"I heard that," Danny snarled.

Stella hugged him from behind.  "It was kinda funny when you growled at Gibbs and he backed away from the coffee," she assured him.  "We thought it was cute."

"I don't do cute."

"Especially not before coffee," she agreed, helping wash his front.  Don got her back for her and then she got his front while Danny did his hair.  They finally made it out and to the closet, staring at the clothes.  "Crap," she muttered.  "Where's mine?"

"And mine," Don sighed.  "Didn't Taps just do laundry?"

Danny looked and opened the other closet, finding their things. "In here."  He pulled down clothes for himself, calling Sheldon, grunting at him.  "Overslept," he said at the cautious question. "Heading for coffee then there now."  He hung up and finished pulling on his briefs, then his pants.  Then a shirt, but Don took it from him, earning a death glare.

"Mine," he protested.  He handed him one of his shirts and Don put that one on.  Stella finished pulling on a t-shirt and her pants, then sat down to put on socks and boots.  She went to make the coffee before Danny bit someone this morning.  She wouldn't put it past him.  She handed him the first cup when he walked in, getting a grunt and a nod while he gulped.  Don got the second and she got the last one, then they left with mental pats to Mac's mind.

Mac woke up and blinked at the clock.  "Someone's going to say something," he moaned, getting up and going to take a more leisurely shower.  He'd miss his showering helpers, but they did have to work.

***

Stella walked in first.  "Not one word," she told Sheldon and Lindsey.  "Where am I?"

"In the field," Sheldon said, handing over a slip.  She nodded and headed to get her gear and go off.  Danny walked in, not looking like he was happy this morning.  "Oooh, Danny, coffeemaker in the break room is set up, all it needs is water and turned on.  Coffee machine is down again."  He handed him a slip.  "We just got two calls back to back.  You'll have Don and Stella will have Maka."

"Yay," he said flatly, going to get some more coffee and his case, heading out to his call.  He grunted at Don as he got there, finishing up before he walked onto the scene.  Then he turned and puked.

"Danny, you all right?"  He shook his head, getting more sick against the side of the car. "Come on, let's go sit in the car."  He walked him back over there, watching as he got sick again and again.  "Danny, did you have anything besides coffee?"  He shook his head, finally not heaving.  "You sit there.  Let me call Stella."  He did that.  "Stella, it's Don.  Danny just arrived and puked badly.  Yeah, like all over the side of the scene, but not on it.  I don't know.  He finished his coffee, got out of the car without it, took twenty steps across the street and ran for it."  He looked at Danny, testing his forehead.  "Pale, clammy, and sweaty."  He smiled.  "That's fine."  He hung up, pointing at one of the patrol guys.  "You, drive Messer back to the CSI base, let Hawkes look at him.  We're getting Monroe.  It'll be a few minutes."  They nodded at that and the patrol officer came over to drive Danny back there.  Don sent him a worried mental nudge but Danny's mind was blank.  He tried again, hearing a faint echo.  He sent one to Mac, who had the most experience with potiony things.  Something was not right.

***

Mac walked into the station and confiscated the coffeemaker he had called Adam, their other Trace tech, to confiscate.  He headed to do the testing himself, magically, because Adam had already done the more mundane one.  He found what he was looking for and sent a question at Tony, who sent back that he'd call Greg.  Danny did all their potions.  Mac headed out with the reports, finding Sheldon giving Danny worried looks. "It's not permanent but it is a poisoning," he said quietly, handing it over to him.  "It's blocked the link as well."

"How?"  He looked at him.  "I didn't think..."

"Some things can still impede the skill."

"Oh.  I didn't know that."  He blinked, looking at the papers.  "Who's going to come help?"

"They called someone in Vegas with a clue and a cauldron.  He'll be calling soon."  Hawkes gave him an 'go on, tell me' look.  "Sanders."

"I'd never have guessed. I thought he was just strange."

"He is," Mac agreed with a small grin.  He heard the stomping footsteps and got out of the way.  "Thank you, Greg."

Greg glared at him. "I work graveyard," he noted dryly.  "Remember that?  Please?"  Sheldon handed over the paperwork and he looked then he groaned.  "We had a case of this.  Someone in Philip's first parish tried it."  He pulled out two things and mixed them.  "Is he allergic to anything?"

"Not medicine.  He's knocked out but not from this."

"Thanks."  He got down beside his head, nudging him gently. "Danny?  It's Greg."  Danny moaned and he gagged at the stench on his breath. "Are we sure that's all this is?"

"Coffee's in my lab, Greg.  I did the tests as I knew them and Adam did his.  It's cheap coffee.  He had one at home and then one here.  Then he nearly destroyed a scene."

"Let me test it first," Greg decided, going to do that.  He nodded at the tech he ran into in there.  "Hey, Adam."

"Greg?"  He turned to watch him walk.  "What are you doing here?  Don't you still work under Grissom?"  He'd have heard if they were getting such a great tech usually.

"Yup."  He grinned.  "Here to do some of the odder tests since some of the herbal and venom poisons won't show up from coffee."

"How did you get here?"

He looked at him and grinned.  "National secret."  Adam sighed and walked off.  "Sorry.  Ask Mac."

"He doesn't give out information," he called back.  Something was very definitely going on here.  Mac hadn't given them good answers when Danny had suddenly appeared injured that one afternoon.  Now this.  And how had Mac known that Danny had been poisoned with the coffee?  Or how many he'd had at home?  Well, that last one made him pause and think.  Then he shuddered.  No, he couldn't imagine Mac and Danny together, he wasn't like that.  He didn't care if they were but he wasn't like that and he did not want to have those thoughts.  Especially not about his boss.  The only scarier thought was that Gibbs guy when he had shown up for a case and any of them together.  He went back to his lab, making notes on what he knew so far.  He would figure this mystery out soon.  After all, he was one of the top lab techs in the country. That's why Mac had hired him.

Greg came back a half-hour later.  "Venom as well."  He finished mixing the antidote and slowly made Danny drink it, even though it tasted vile.  "He's lucky, Mac.  He's got natural immunity because of the changing stuff," he offered quietly.  Stella walked in.  "You okay?"

"I didn't have any of the coffee this morning from here.  Danny was still at his glaring and grunting phase."

"Yeah, well, you're all going to hate me but no stimulants for forty-eight hours, just in case, and no raising his blood pressure any."  Danny groaned at that.  "Sorry, man.  Can't help it."  He smiled at him.  "Feeling less sick?"

"No, the medicine tasted worse than the coffee."

"Yeah, that happens," he noted dryly.  "Don't puke it up."

"Don't mention it then."

"Sure, I can avoid that subject.  How's the dragons?"

Danny moaned and flipped in the other direction.  "Ask me later when I'm not sick."

"Sure."  He stood up and closed his bag, looking at Mac.  "I'm finding you guys a healer."

"We have one through the union but I didn't even think about it, Greg.  I'm sorry."

"No, it's all right.  I'm trained to do this just as much as he would be."  He patted him on the arm.  "For now, my wife is waiting."  He headed off again, going back to bed.  She grunted inquisitively.  "Someone tried to poison Danny in New York."  She growled but he cuddled her.  "I mixed the antidote.  Someone's in deep do-do."  She smiled and went back to sleep.  He was almost asleep when his phone went off.  He answered it with a surly, "I'm not on call, Grissom."  He listened to the rundown and groaned.  "First, calm him down.  Second, take his wand.  Third, call Penn."  He hung up and snuggled back in, getting comfortable while his boss did as ordered.  Grissom was a smart and kind man, he wouldn't make him give up his precious sleep to go deal with a drunk wizard who was hurling colors at the walls.  That was what they had an overlord for.

***

Mac watched the security tapes again.  "I can't get a good image of the person," he complained to Stella.  "No fingerprints either."

She glanced around.  "Mac, I don't want to mention it, but...."

Mac shook his head.  "She wasn't in the building when it was put together and didn't go near there. Her first call got her sent at seven, before she got here."  Stella nodded, leaving it there.  "I'm more worried that it's one of Flack's cult and they wanted to get Danny for some other reason."  They shared a look.  "Besides, the figure looks male from behind."  He let her see.

She nodded once. "I know who that is."  She casually strolled off, going to the detective's side.  One of them saw her and gave the room a nervous look.  "Can we talk?" she asked with a sweet smile.  The man shook his head and jumped up, trying to run.  Unfortunately, Don was on his other side.  "Thanks, Don."

"This who set it up?"

"Yeah, noticed the shirt in the video.  Only he's got that ugly shirt."  She twisted the guy's ear as she walked him off, making him howl and thrash but he followed.  "Feel lucky, it could be your balls," she offered nicely, shoving him into an interrogation room and closing them in.  "You've got half a second before I go off," she warned.  "We both know you did it.  There's no way you're going to talk your way out of it."

"A...a t-shirt isn't enough evidence. Even if it was custom made," he said with a swallow.

She nodded once then lunged and he screamed, running to the other side of the room.  "Ya think?"

"He's a bad person!  He's keeping Flack's cult intact!  He's making them worse!  He's bringing us all down!  I never meant to hurt him, just make him too sick too take it up the ass!  He's dirtying us all!"

She slapped him.  "Shut up."  He cowered and she moved closer.  "Danny isn't keeping his cult alive, he's helping Flack manage it so they're calmer, more rational, and actually very helpful.  I like the guy we've got stationed here.  He's a nice guy who'd give up his life for Flack."  The man started to cry.  "Second, Danny's not a dirty cop, nor is he a bad cop.  I've seen both and he's not either.  I should know."  The man gaped at her.  "Third, you nearly killed him.  If we didn't know someone who knew a lot about herbal remedies we would've missed the venom totally.  He would have died.  Fourth, what makes you think being a gay cop makes him bad?  What?  You want Flack's ass for yourself?"  He looked horrified.  "Answer me!" she snapped.  "Do you?"  He whimpered and nodded, hanging his head. "Too bad you missed out on the chance.  It's been over five months now."  She tipped his face up.  "Don't worry though, Flack's lovers have him well in hand and very comfortable at night.  Tonight they'll fuck him stupid to get any knowledge of you out of his brain."  She let his chin go and walked off, leaving him in there.  "He moves, shoot his ass," she ordered the patrol guys.  "He poisoned our coffee and got Messer on purpose."

"Yes, Detective," he said, snapping to attention.

Their cult member stopped her.  "Is the Protector all right?" he asked quietly.

She smiled.  "He is.  He'll be fine.  Greg cured it.  You know, I really don't mind you guys most of the time. You're very nice and Don likes you too.  Don't let crap like that come after you either."  He nodded, blushing a bit.  "Good boy."  She went to tell Mac to call someone.  "Mac, I found our guy, roughed him up to get a confession, and now he's begging and pleading for a union lawyer."

"That's fine, I called Hillborne, he's on his way down.  Did you check on Danny?"

"No, I hadn't."

"I did," Don offered as he walked in, giving her a hug.   "The offer's great but it's not gonna be that hard.  A good backrub should take all that knowledge of him outta my head."  She smiled at him.  "You're right though, I like my cult members.  Most of them are really nice people once I sat down and talked with them."  He let her go.  "Danny's still asleep in the break room as of a few minutes ago.  I can't believe he did that."

"I can," she said, giving him a look.  "He wanted you too."

"Who doesn't want me really," he teased, smiling at her.  She punched him on the arm.  "Ow!"

"Shut up, Don."  She rolled her eyes but looked at Mac.  "Okay, now what?"

"Go solve your other cases," he said with a fond smile.  "We'll do some damage control on the relationship front."

"Hey, I neither confirmed nor denied."

"Well, you kinda did about Danny, but then you mentioned lovers and the patrol guys who overheard gave me looks like I'm The Man," Don said with a really big smirk.  "Guess I get the good parking spot tomorrow, huh?"  He strolled out, going to check on Danny again before going back to his desk.  He found his boss in there.  "Hey, boss."

She looked at him.  "You two?"

"I don't talk about my 'ships at work, boss.  You know that."

"Beers after work?" she offered patiently.

"What?  Are you going to ask me for tapes too?  I got that from one of the patrol guys who thinks I'm sleeping with Hawkes."  Sheldon moaned from his corner of the break room.  "Sorry, Sheldon."

"Not your fault. It's nice that people think I'm good enough to get you, Don."  He stuffed his mouth again.

"His dance card's already full," Danny groaned, letting them help him sit up.  "Who did it?"

"Morgan."

"Can I kill him yet?" Danny asked, looking at Don's boss.  "Not like we let it out here."

"I've noticed that. I wanted to make sure no one came after my guy for being with you."  Danny glared at her.  "It happens to gay cops."

"Yeah, but I'm a bi cop, as my girlfriend proved this last night," Don said smugly.  She sat down suddenly, staring at him. "What can I say?  It takes a lot to wear me out."  He grinned sweetly and she whimpered.  "Sorry, boss, but go ahead and watch my back for me."

"You, and him, and ...and Bonasera?"

Mac walked in and shut the door.  "This goes no further."  She nodded slowly.  "It's a quad, I'm there too.  They think you're sleeping with Sheldon?"

"One guy does."  Don grinned at him.  "Then again, another few think I'm seeing Monroe."

Mac shook his head quickly.  "No that would not be a happy relationship."

"Nope," he agreed, looking at Danny again. "I find I like the anti-cuddly things now and then."

"Go away," Danny moaned.  "Not at work."

"Not like you're gonna work today anyway," Don noted dryly.  He hauled his boss up, looking at her. "You good enough?"

"I, um, ah, can't quit seeing that."  She shook her head and Don helpfully popped her upside it like he'd been wanting to do for months now.  "Is this a wizard thing?"

"Cursebreakers are known to be horny things but this is just a me thing," he said with a boyish grin and a wink.  She blushed.  "So, we good?"

"We're fine.  Just make me quit seeing it?"

"Lindsey asked me out," Sheldon offered from his seat, eating another bite.

"That's a worse picture, thank you," she decided, going back to her office.  She paused in the squad room.  "There will be NO gossiping about this point," she ordered. "Flack's life is his own.  I don't care if he's taking it from Godzilla.  I don't care if he's banging a centaur.  What he does in his bedroom is what he does in his bedroom.  It doesn't affect his work life at all."

"Even though he needs to get a new alarm clock at his boyfriend's house?" one guy teased.

She looked at him.  "With some of the rumors going around today, he's not the only one.  So we're all going to drop this because I don't care who Don does in his spare time as long as they're not doing it on his desk."  She looked at the cult member.  "You guys creep me out but at least you're protective of Flack.  I like you for that much even if I can't understand why someone would worship him."  The man blushed and nodded.  "So let's just climb off the topic now."  She went into his office and closed herself in so she could go back to a few of those images, because they were very hot.  Especially the one of her boy topping Taylor and making Taylor lick Bonasera at the same time.

***

Danny groaned when the healer walked into the apartment later with Stella's cooperation.  "I'm good enough."

"You're still nauseous," Don reminded him, stroking through his hair.  "Plus sweaty."  He looked at the healer.  "They told you Greg did the antidote?"

"I did hear that. You have some very powerful friends, Wizard Messer."  He pulled out his wand and put down his bag, moving to check him.  "Hmm, a bit out of balance.  It looks like you'll be fine after all but you do need some rest."  He ran a different check over him then pulled out a small tuning fork to use against his wrist.  "Hmm, yes, you should be fine."  He patted him once the tuning fork was away.  "Part of this is caffeine withdrawal."

"Greg said none for forty-eight," Danny admitted. "I'm going to have to hide. I need my coffee."

"I'm sure they'll let you apologize," he said with a small smile.  "Now, you should be in bed, not on the couch."

"No tv in the bedroom," Don said dryly.  "We won't let there be one."

"I understand perfectly."  Someone appeared and he gaped.  "Caine."

"Yes, I am," he said with a smile.  "Danny, are you all right?  Speed's still muttering and pacing. He can't get his mind together enough to come up."

"I'm fine."

"He will be but he does need to rest for the next few days.  He can go back to work the day after he can have coffee again."  Danny shook his head.  "Yes, young man.  This particular antidote does bring with it a possibility of migraines and dizziness.  Since you're an officer, you'd be in no shape to use your gun if necessary."  He put his wand back.  "Three days bed rest and he can go back," he told Mac, who was in the doorway behind Horatio.  "It was a pleasure seeing you again, Caine."

"Thank you."  He got a smile and a nod before he left.  "Huh.  I wonder how he knew me."

"Probably saw you fly in your younger days," Stella teased. Horatio smiled at that.  "At least we know you'll be fine," she soothed, moving Don so Danny's head could go back in her lap.  "Speed can come up once he's calmer."

"I'll make sure he knows that Danny's fine and good again."  He looked at him. "You know, we could let you do case reviews from home if Mac's talked into it right."

"Speaking of, this weekend one of my guys is going to call me about one of the cult that's not real good.  They're not sure if they've got proof of anything," Don offered, "but they think he's a bad guy and need to turn him over."

"Of course.  When you hear from him, let me know," Horatio agreed. That got a nod and a smile. "I'll let Speed come baby him tomorrow since Tony's got the day after off.  Those two figured that out earlier."  Danny whimpered.  "It's one of the good things about having friends.  Oh, I must report, Rosenburg's back in Chicago to be straightened out again.  She tried to summon a demon to eat Ryan because he accidentally left her handcuffed."   He smirked and disappeared, apparating home.

"Interesting," Stella said, smiling down at Danny.  "You might even get the good soup from Speed."

"I probably will," he agreed, yawning.  "I hate being sick."

"You're not really fun when you're sick from our end either," Don admitted, "but we like you enough to coddle you anyway and wait for you to get fun again."  Danny snorted but he was smiling.  "Mac, what's for dinner?"

"I figured some pasta would be soothing.  Danny, did you want me to make you some broth or do you think you can handle solid foods?"

"Eww.  Not eating."

"Sure.  I'll open a can of broth."  He went to do that.

Don changed to his dog form and came over to curl up on Danny's lap, letting him pet him. "Petting you is going to make me feel better?" Danny teased, but he did it anyway.  Flack liked ear scratches way too much to deny him unless he was pissed at him.  "How are the rumors going?"

"So far, Don's getting the whole lab, Sheldon and Lindsey included," Stella said dryly.  "Since all I said was lovers, there's some wild rumors going around about Don having his own personal CSI harem.  Especially about Greg coming out like that.  Oh, Adam's trying to figure it out."

"It'll die down in a few days and so will Adam's curiosity," Mac soothed from the kitchen.  Speed appeared and he got a hug.  "Thank you.  I'm making Danny some broth."

"Drop a bullion cube in there to get better flavor."  Mac did that.  "Where is snookums?"

"On the couch with the other two."

Speed weathered the knowing smile as he walked out there.  "Awww."  He took a photo then sent his camera home, bending down to give Danny a hug.  Don barked at him so he scratched his ears, getting one happy puppy.  "Hi, Don."  He looked at Danny again.  "What was this idiot's problem?"

"He wanted Don," Stella said simply.

"I don't think Don could handle having another of you," he teased.  "You three wear him out already."

"It's a matter of stamina," Danny said dryly, smirking at him.  "I'm fine but coffeeless for 2 days."

"Ooooooh," Speed winced.  "I'm so sorry.  We'll love you anyway."  Danny swatted at him.  "Anything else?"

"Three days of bedrest so the caffeine levels are high enough when he goes back," Stella teased.  Danny swatted her too.  "Behave or I won't let anyone blow you to help you sleep tonight."

"Meany."

"Yup, very.  Greg said no raising your blood pressure."

Don changed back and lounged on top of Danny. "Probably because it'd make him dizzy and give him migraines, like the healer warned.  You missed it, Danny and Speed.  My boss said she didn't care if I was bending over to take it from Godzilla or doing a centaur.  But she wanted private information for her mental porn collection."

"Both of those pictures would be enough to make me celibate," Speed noted.  "Possibly Eric too."  He clapped him on the back.  "I should try that one, see if he can get it up tonight."  He gave him a hug, gave Stella a hug, gave Danny another hug, then disappeared.  He landed back in Horatio's office.  "Hey, Ray.  You so missed it, H.  Don's boss announced she didn't care if Flack was bending over and getting it from Godzilla or doing a centaur, she didn't want to hear it, but wanted mental pictures for her own pleasure.  Think that image is enough to keep Eric from getting any tonight?"

Horatio looked at him and shook his head.  "Nothing short of throwing up keeps Eric from going out to hunt women, Speed, and even that hasn't stopped him a few times. You know that.  You can try though."  Speed cackled and went to torment Eric some more.  He shook his head and looked at his nephew.  "So, what happened with your girlfriend?"

"She's a brat.  We broke up because she's such a bitch."  He shrugged from his spot on the couch.  "She was cheating on me with another of the cheerleaders."

"Male or female?"

"Both possibly.  I asked her if she charged or not.  So I got slapped and that got me the detention and why Mom's going to yell."

"Possibly not at you."

"Bet me," he snorted. "She's not looking happy from what I could see when she stomped in."

"It's been a long day, Ray.  Give her some slack," Horatio noted quietly.  "She had two suspects hit on her and suggest she needed to have a man again."  Ray winced and hissed at that.  "Exactly."  His sister-in-law stormed in.  "Yelina."

"Raymond, if that bitch comes near you again, hurt her," she said firmly.

"Yes, mom."

"Good!"  She looked at Horatio.  "Did he tell you the little brat got him in trouble because she was cheating on him?  They put him in detention and wrote him up because she slapped him."

"He did say that," Horatio agreed.

"I kinda asked her why I got it free if she was charging," Ray admitted.  His mother glared at him.  "Being honest, mom.  I deserved the slap but not the detention."

"Why, it's the truth."  She started to pace. "I don't like that girls like that come after you, Raymond. I don't want you to see anyone for a while."

"Mom, a boy's got needs," he said calmly. "At least I know she didn't have anything and there's no kids coming from between us."  His mother glared at him.  "Hey, being honest again.  I could be out doing half the club."

"You could be but if you did you would be out of my house immediately."

"Yes, mom.  Would you rather I do it myself or date?"

She stared, then moaned, holding her forehead.  "I didn't need to know that, son!"

"Mom, I'm a young man.  Sexuality is a reality in my life anymore.  Remember, you told me not to rush it once because once it starts it never stops."  Horatio snickered at that.  "Does it?"

"No, not until the day you die, Raymond.  Those urges and the ability stay, even if you do end up taking drugs to help you in the nursing home."  Ray grinned at him.  "Let's hope you don't take it recreationally."

"I saw the guy that did that and they had to take him to the ER because he wouldn't go down.  His dick was black with the trapped blood," he said grimly.  "I'm hoping they didn't have to cut it off.  That's a good enough lesson for me to never try that."

"Thank you, son."  His mother gave him a hug.  "I don't care if you do it yourself, but I do not want to hear it so do it while I'm at work.  Lay off the dating for a while."

"Girls like the wounded hero pout," Eric said from the doorway.  "H, make Speed stop.  I didn't need to hear about the rumors going around and Godzilla.  Please?"  Horatio nodded. "Thank you."  He walked off again.

"Godzilla?" Yelina asked, looking confused.

"Don's relationship got outed today when someone tried to poison Danny," her son told her quietly.  "Don's boss said she didn't care if Don was bending over and taking it from Godzilla or banging a centaur."

"Oh. That is a rather odd picture," she decided, then shook it off.  "Isn't Godzilla fifty foot tall or something?"

"Ten stories I think," Horatio offered.  "It's been a while since I've seen any of the movies."

"That would be one large dick," Ray said dryly.  His mother slapped at him.  "Sorry, mom.  Teenage mind!  Sorry!"  He ducked another one and apparated across the room.  "I'll keep those to myself."

"Please," Horatio ordered, staring at him.  "Or I'm not letting you go with me again."  Ray smiled and nodded.  "Did you straighten out the school, Yelina?"

"I did.  They're cowering and begging for mercy."  She walked her son off to try to straighten him out again.  This had to have come from the time he went across realms.  Her son had been such a good boy before then.  He never had thoughts like this before that had happened.  She knew this magic stuff was going to hurt him.  She saw Ryan growl and head outside, then heard a small explosion.  "What was that?" she demanded when she made it to the window.

"I'm not sure," Frank admitted, looking down there.  "Looks like a tree combusted."  He pointed at the burning palm tree.  "Someone's already called it in and Wolfe is not looking happy," he noted, staring at him.  "Huh."

"It's handled, Frank," Horatio said from behind him.  "He's scowling at whoever did it."  That got a nod and Frank went back to his desk, Yelina and Ray Jr. behind him.  Horatio walked outside, going to pull Ryan out of the way.  "Are you all right?" he asked quietly, looking at his officer.

"No," he admitted.  "I haven't done that in years."  He glanced at the tree, then back at him. "I'm sorry.  It's frustration.  I'm slipping. I need to handle it better.  I'll work on my control exercises tonight."

"Perhaps you should tell me why you're frustrated instead," he offered.

"They want to bind Willow to me."

"Say no."

"I have.  Repeatedly, Horatio."  That got a simple nod.  "They're not taking the no."

"Can they do that?"

"I'm single.  They think I'll be a good teacher and focus for her.  I pointed out she tried to have me killed and that didn't seem to matter."

Speed walked out and stared at the tree, then looked at him again. "Nice slip.  Better than the fish was.  You know, you could demand that they take all her magic.  Ethan's bound a good portion of it away but she's still moving around him.  They can finish it.  Rayne went easy on her.  We can get Alex to finish it and I'll help him if I need to."

A middle-aged woman walked up to them and patted him on the cheek.  "Dear, don't worry about it.  She's not our favorite person either."  She looked at him.

Speed looked down, seeing a pair of familiar brown eyes.  She looked just like....  "You're Alex's mother."

"I am."  She smiled.  "And I'm still in Vengeance, dear.  You're so cute."  She pinched him on the cheek.  "You give me such a rush when you pick on that slutty little Eric toy."  She smiled at Ryan.  "It's not my field but I'm on special assignment with Anya, Ryan.  Someone's got to do something about her.  We've all agreed, she's taking some of our jobs now and then.  It's not making the higher ups happy."

He knew what she was and looked at Horatio, then at Speed, who shrugged.  "I wish Willow was safe."

"Wish granted, sweetness."  She patted him on the cheek.  "Very nicely put as well. She'll be very safe and very useful to some other students."  She smiled at Horatio.  "You know, I get the best times coming down here to work with the victims.  Though I don't get to do much with them since you take a lot of my work from me, but the ones you don't get do give me quite the rush since you try so hard."  She winked and disappeared.  "Say hello to my baby for me," she called as she left.

Speed called Alex.  "Your momma said hi.  She and Anya are doing Willow."  He grimaced at the gagging noise.  "Not like that.  Ryan wished her safe."  He hung up on the laughter.  "Draco's laughing.  Alex is calling out to her to stop her."

"It probably won't work," Horatio noted.  "I wonder how they'll do it."

"She'll probably be something that gives answers," Ryan offered.  "She's very bright."

"She is."  A book dropped in front of them.  "Wandless Magical Theorems," he read, picking it up.  He turned to the first page.  "So locked in this book shall she, Willow Rosenburg, be until she has saved one hundred lives from the magic that is impetuous and dangerous for she knows not what she did before.  Now, she will learn even as she teaches."  He handed it to Ryan, who stroked it then handed it to Speed.  "It should be in a school."

"Ours or Dawn's?"

"Dawn's."

Speed created a piece of paper and wrote a note on it, binding it to the cover of the book with a temporary sticking charm out of sight of the fire crew working on the tree.  Then he sent it off.  His wand went back into his back pocket.  "Gone."

"Thank you, Speed.  Ryan, are you satisfied?"

"It can take her decades to get a hundred people off magic."

"It can.  But perhaps she'll see what control really should be while she's at it."  He patted him on the back.  "Less frustrated?"

"Just sorry I had to do it," he sighed, looking at him.  "She was nice most of the time."

"She was," Horatio agreed, smirking at him, "but you can do better.  Like my nephew can do better, Ryan."  He went back to his office.

"Yeah, a lot better. Let Eric set you up with someone.  At least then you know it'll be fun."

"I don't need fun. I need calm and peacefulness.  I need someone I can read with.  Oh, can we go to the house elf shelter today do you think?" he asked quietly.  "That new case kept us from going last time."

"You're taking Eric. I've had my dose of pitiful for the decade, Ryan.  Go ask him."  Ryan nodded, going to do that.  Speed shuddered.  He did not want to know.  Really.

***

Ryan and Eric walked into the shelter together.  "Hi."  The keeper smiled at him. "I need a house elf to clean.  I'm OCD and the one I borrowed from a wizard friend is just better at it than I am, even without using bleach."

"Of course. You're a wandless?"  He nodded.  "Which sort?"

"Natural chaos.  I don't much practice it, but I'm fairly skilled and powerful enough for my own pleasure."

"I'll make sure they know that.  How clean did you want it?"

"I want to be able to take a swab and not find anything.  I'm an officer and I do lab work so dirt is not allowed anywhere. My friend's house elf did that for me one day.  It was like marriage without having to put out for me.  He even cooked and did dishes."

She smiled.  "It would probably be a help to you.  Let's go see what we can do."  She led them back into the waiting area.  She saw both men melt.  "You have a house?"

"Large enough apartment but I'd let another family borrow mine if it got too bored."

"That's fine."  She looked around.  "Terpy?"  She ran over and stood in front of her, looking attentive.  "Gather all the cleaning elves together. This is a wandless wizard who needs an elf who cleans *very* well.   He wants things to be sanitized."  The house elf nodded and gave Ryan a look, then ran off to gather the others.  Twenty-seven elves ended up in front of them.  "Go ahead and talk to them."

Ryan glanced at Eric.  "Remind me again how many I can take home?"

"One, Wolfe. Just one."  He looked at them.  "He's a lab guy and he's an officer.  He's so OCD he scrubs the labs even after we disinfect.  He needs someone to do it at home. You may be borrowed now and then by a young wizard and his muggle mother, who I've heard likes to pet you guys for good work, but it won't be that often."

"I'll want you to clean for me, maybe cook on occasion, and do the laundry," Ryan offered.  Most of them stayed.  "I am a natural chaos person but you wouldn't be touching anything of my setup."  A few more left.  "I can only have one, guys.  Please don't...."

Eric patted him on the back.  "Stay strong, Wolfe."  He looked at them again, then at the keeper. "If they could go to muggle families I'd give my mother one.  She'd probably scream at me for the first few days but I don't see how you can stand seeing this every day."  The pitiful looks were getting to him.  He had thought he was made from stronger stuff.

She glared at the elves.  "Let them make a fair choice, guys.  That's not nice.  He's only got a small apartment."  A few more trickled off.  "Sorry, they wanted to clean bigger places."

"They'll be cleaning mine every day while I'm gone," Ryan assured her. One bounced over and tugged on his pantsleg, making him look down.  "Hi."

"Hi.  You need bleach clean or better?"

"I clean with bleach but I know you guys can clean better than I can with bleach.  One of you proved it to me when I borrowed him.  I'm looking for someone to take care of my place when I'm not there."

She nodded and pointed at two.  "They clean *very* much better than bleach.  Dipsy and Daisy very clean elves."

Those two stepped forward at the keeper's urging.

Eric looked at them.  "Neither of you seem happy."

"Daisy very happy with new family," he assured him.  "Daisy not happy here."

"Why were you let go?" Ryan asked.

"Daisy's old owner died," the keeper said.  "Dipsy's old owner got forty cats and wanted a spotless house. It was too much for even a house elf."

Ryan nodded at that. "I work some really long hours so you'd be alone most of the day with only a radio on."  A few of them whimpered at that, covering their ears. "Radios are bad?"

"Most house elves don't admit they like to listen to music," she explained.  "They think it's what humans do and house elves aren't humans."  She looked at them. "Personally I'd take Mitch.  He's a good house elf.  He'd be happy to go with you.  He's a very good cook.  You could work out a way to get groceries with him.  Take a list and go shopping or whatever.  I would not let him do it alone or let him handle any sort of money."  Ryan nodded at that.  "Or there's the Cordy elf.  Cordy?"  The elf looked up at her, looking miserable.

Ryan looked.  "That's not a house elf."  He concentrated and she turned back into a human.  "Hi, Ryan Wolfe.  Friend of Alex's?"

"Who?"

"Dumass," Ryan tried.

"Oh, yeah, Xander."  She shuddered.  "One of the demons trapped me.  Sorry."

"Not a problem.  Any others?"  She pointed at them and he freed the others as well.  "There you go.  We'll work on getting you back to your own area again since this is Chicago.  Though... Spike's around here somewhere with Sirius."

"Oooh, we need to see him," the other female offered.  "A whole lot."

"Sure, Fred."  Cordy looked at him.  "Can we call Spike?"

"I'll take you to the floo," the keeper said.  "Why didn't you tell me?"

"We tried to tell the night person but she laughed."  They followed. "Thank you, Ryan."

"Welcome," he called, shrugging a bit.  "I'm that powerful," the told the elves.

One of them tugged on Eric's hand.  "Are you a wizard too?  Needing a house elf?  I's is Doorstop and Doorstop is being a good house elf for a single wizard.  Very quiet."

Eric smiled.  "I'm not a wizard.  My sister's a wandless witch. I'll ask my mother if she could use you though."  That got a smile and a nod.  "If so, I'll come back for you?"  The house elf beamed and nodded.  "Ryan?"

Ryan looked at one, he had a feeling about him.  "You.  How would you clean?"

"With natural scrubbers and spells.  House elfs clean like that," he said firmly, scowling at him.  "Yous is too skinny too.  Master Ryan sir is not being eating!"  He stomped his foot.  "Master Ryan sirs is needing house elf support."

"I do, that's why I'm here.  You'd scrub everything every day, no matter what?"  The house elf scowled and nodded.  "Because I'm very obsessive about that stuff.  I can't sleep if the house isn't clean."

"Of course house elfs is being scrubbing like that, even ourselves."  He scowled at the others and only one stayed.  "You is being too nice.  You is being one who would not be making him eat."  Another couple came in.  "You is being going with the others."  The house elf whimpered.  "Now."

"Wait, let's make sure," Eric ordered.

"No, Toodles is being less cleany sometimes.  When feels is clean enough.  Toodles is not being scrubbing all the time," she admitted in a high, squeaky voice.  "Toodles will go to a sick person instead."  She walked off.

"Okay, what's your name?" Ryan asked.

"Scrubby."

"Scrubby?" he asked, grinning.  "Seems like you fit me very well then.  Can you cook now and then?"

"Scrubby will be cooking very often for too skinny wizards.  Right now!"  He stomped a foot and pointed.  "You is going to be eating now, right now!  Scrubby will fix dinner and then clean."  Ryan smiled at that and led him out.  The keeper smiled and let him have the paperwork.  "Scrubby will not be being back," he said firmly.  "This one needs house elfs support."

"He does," the keeper agreed, smiling at him.  Ryan let her have his credit card for the fee and she ran it, then let him sign the slip.  "Now, remember, you can't give them clothes but you can let them *borrow* clothes."

"Sure. I've got three or four t-shirts with bleach stains he can borrow," Ryan agreed, looking at him.  "Is that good enough for you?"  The house elf nodded, hugging his leg.  "Okay, let's take you home.  Eric?"  He came out with the house elf for his mother.  "Weren't you going to check first?"

"Yeah," he sighed, "but if not, my place could be cleaner."  He paid for his elf too and filled out the paperwork.  "Borrowing clothes?"

"Is just fine.  Make sure she knows you're not going to be giving her clothes, just letting her borrow some.  Doorstop will be very happy to clean for you or your whole family.  A lot of elves get passed around to siblings these days.  Also, she's a great seamstress.  Very good at helping alter things."

"My mother and sisters would like that," he decided.  "Come on, let's go back with Speed's portkey."  Ryan let him have it.  "Hold on."  The elves grabbed onto them and Ryan activated it, sending them home.  Well, Horatio's home.  They had left from there.  Horatio looked at them and moaned.  "My mother could use one," Eric defended.

"Now you know why you shouldn't go alone," Ray noted dryly from his chair.  "Because the pitiful will last for months."  He looked at the house elf.  "Pout at his mother too if she complains, make her feel the need to adopt you."  That got an evil smirk.  "Good girl.  Eric, I'd probably dress her better first."

"Sure."  He looked down at her.  "We do need to get you better dressed, don't we?"  He took his house elf out to his car, going to see his sister.  Marisol was at his place so it wasn't hard.  "This is my house," he instructed.  She nodded eagerly, following him inside.  His sister screamed and pointed, backing away.  "Yeah, it's a house elf. I had to go with someone to pick one.  This is Doorstop.  Think Momma would like her?"

Marisol looked at him. "Are you insane!"

"Not usually.  Can you quit screaming before the neighbors call someone?"

"Eric, you don't even..."  She stared.  "How...."

"Speed's group of friends brought one home to share among them.  Wolfe borrowed him one night and he cleaned better than Ryan could ever hope to.  His OCD purred about it so he went to get one and I went with him to make sure he only brought home one.  This one needed a good home too and I thought Momma might like her.   Doorstop, this is Marisol, my sister."

"Missus Marisol is being too skinny," she said firmly, heading for the kitchen.  "What sort of food does Master Eric want?"

"We eat a lot of different things.  Just make something.  Our dad's Russian, our Mom's Cuban.  We're just hungry."  That got a beaming smile and the elf went to whip up some food.  He got her sitting down again.  "If Momma can't use her I'll keep her but I thought we could share her as a family."

Marisol shook her head and moaned.  "You're introducing her to Momma, Eric, alone."

"I've got to get her clothes first.  Oh, and she's a good seamstress I was told.  Maybe she can help you with that too."

She just gave him a look like he was insane.

***

Eric walked in the next morning and looked at Horatio, his eye nearly swollen shut from the bruise.  "My mother loves Doorstop now.  She decided she's as close as she's ever getting to a daughter-in-law out of me."  He walked on, making Horatio smirk.  "I'm fine."

"Your mother?"

"Wild swing in fright and I didn't duck fast enough," he agreed dryly.  "I'm fine to work."

Alexx saw him.  "What happened to you!" she demanded.

He looked at her. "I got my mother a helper for around the house and I didn't duck the wild swing of fright when I introduced her to Doorstop."  He shrugged.

"Doorstop?"  She moved closer.  "A house elf, Eric?"  He nodded.  "How do you know about house elves?"

"How do you know about house elves?" he countered dryly.

"I went to school where a few were employed."

"Yeah, so did Speed.  He brought one home for their group to share."  He walked on.  "Momma loves her now.  They cooked breakfast together and even Poppi loved it.  He's the picky eater in the family."  He went to get his things from his locker, weathering the look Ryan gave him when he came in.  "Wild swing in fright."

"Need some tylenol? I've got some in my gymbag."

"No, I took some already. I may ask for some at lunch though."  He closed his locker.  "You look happy."

"I woke up to a spotless, germ free house and breakfast.  Of course I am.  Best two hundred dollars I ever spent."  He walked out smiling and happy.

"New girlfriend?" Tripp teased.

"No, just happy with my new cleaning service.  They're better at it than I am."

"How can you afford that?"

"They work cheaply."  He smirked.  "Ask Horatio.  He's met another person who works for the same cleaning service."  He went to find out if he had a call yet and then went to work on his last case.

Frank Tripp went to find Horatio.  "Wolfe looks really happy.  How is he affording a cleaning service?"

Horatio looked at him, then shook his head.  "Frank, this is one of those matters that will give you a headache."

"What?  He got one of those house elf things from the movies?" he joked.

"Taps?" Horatio called quietly.  "I forgot my lunch."  It and the house elf appeared beside him, making Frank stare in horror.  "It's also why Eric has the black eye.  He gave his mother one and she reacted.  Thank you, Taps.  Have a good day cleaning and if you need help, Ryan Wolfe has one now too."  That got a nod and Taps disappeared again.  "He asked if he could come scrub my carpets.  I couldn't refuse.  He does pitiful too well."

Frank swallowed. "Horatio.  Tell me I'm hallucinating?"

"You're hallucinating, Frank."

"Thank you.  I thought I was."  He left, going back to his desk.

Horatio smirked and looked in his lunch, putting it in his desk drawer since it was a sandwich.  A large sandwich, enough to feed Eric and three others, but still a sandwich.  Alexx stormed in.  "Yes, Alexx?"

"Speed's a wizard?"

He looked at her. "You hadn't figured that out yet?"  She gave him a hurt glare.  "Yes, he is," he agreed.  "As am I and my nephew Ray.  Ryan's actually a wandless and so's Eric's sister."

"Oh."  She pouted at him.  "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"We thought you had figured it out," Speed said from behind her.  "Sorry, Alexx."

"Speedy."  She turned to pout at him. "You never told me."

"I didn't know you were until you brought me back."

"Fine. I can accept that."  She walked over to give him a hug.  "Are you still mad?"

"No, I'm having more fun now."  He smirked at her.  "I get to bug Tony and Danny for a lot longer."  She swatted him and walked off again.  "I do."

"You do," Horatio agreed.  "Has anyone seen my nephew?"

"Yeah, Jessup said to tell you one of the other patrol guys carted him back home after he heard Yelina was already here. What was he doing?  Jessup was frowning greatly again."

"We went out to the clubs last night and got separated.  I'm not sure what he didn't do except drink or do something pharmaceutical."

"At least he's got his head on straight with that much," Speed offered, heading back to work.  Eric had warned him he had let it slip to Alexx but it seemed like she was okay with it for now.  She'd talk it over with one of the dead bodies and be better with it by lunch.  Calleigh stopped him in the halls.  "What's up?"

"Can I borrow Taps?  I've got wall stains from the last rain storm and I don't have time to paint."

"Sure.  He's at Horatio's.  I'll send him over tonight so you can have the house cleaned first."  She smiled and hugged him then went off again.  Taps was the best investment Tony had made in quite a while.  It was nice that they were being taken care of while they went out and played hard.  Made a wizard feel appreciated.  Freed up his time to prank Danny again too.

Girlish Figures.

Gibbs looked at his diminished team.  Kelly Standa, or Stan Kowalski as the case may be, had finally gotten to go home.  Right when they needed a female operative.  He looked at Ziva, she was much too tough, then he looked at Tony, who started to shake his head.  "I know you know someone who could go out for us," he said firmly.

"I do but why can't Ziva?"

"This person is going after servicewomen in some very sophisticated bars.  If Kate was still here, I'd have sent her, DiNozzo.  Officer David is not the sort of cultured we need this time."

"We might be able to borrow Calleigh," McGee offered.  "She's very cultured and very Southern Belle whenever she wants to be.  I think Stella could probably play it if she wanted to, boss," he said at the grimace.

"No, they're both overloaded.  I talked to their bosses first.  They suggested we run a quick clinic for Ziva."

"I can act well enough in polite society," Ziva defended.  "I was taught how."

"Ziva, these people are the ones who run in Polite Society, in caps.  The people who dine with the president for the joy of his company," Tony said grimly.  She shuddered.  "Exactly.  So you'd be there ten, twelve times, in that environment, and have to act appropriately.  Even Kelly couldn't have pulled this off.  Maybe if Ducky could take her the first few times, boss?"

"He'll have to take whoever anyway," Gibbs assured him.  "Do you know someone or don't you, DiNozzo?"

"That comes with problems, boss.  Major problems," he said firmly, staring him down.

"I'm not asking you to get stuck to them," he retorted.  "Just find some way around it.  You used to run in those circles."

"I did and I do know someone," he sighed.  He knew he would do anything for Gibbs.  "It's still gonna take me two days to work on it.  I've got to find them."

"Fine," he agreed, nodding.  "That works.  Let me know as soon as you do."  Tony groaned and flopped down behind his desk again.  He gave him a look. "It'll be fine."

"Can't we use the former director?"

"No, she'll try to escape and I want her in that cell awaiting trial," he said firmly.  Tony groaned and nodded, going off to find his things.  "Thank you."

"You owe me, Gibbs, so majorly your life isn't enough," he shot back.  They shared a look over the top of the section dividers.  Gibbs nodded that he did.  Tony left once he was in the elevator.  He landed in Danny's apartment, heading for the spare room and the stuff leftover from their school days.  Stella walked in.  "Looking for something," he offered.

"Can I help?  Danny never talks about that stuff."

"That's because he's got it blocked."  He pulled out a smaller trunk and put it aside, then a larger one.  "Sure, come help.  Did Gibbs talk to you about our case?"

"Yup.  Ooooh, you're going to do what we did to Stan?"

"No.  That doesn't work well on me."  He dug into the small trunk, coming up with a jewelry box.  "These were what we made to take the place of that method."  He pulled out two and a half pairs of earrings.  "Speed let Danny lose one of his."

"Why?"

"Danny's attention ran off after a few hours.  Don't ask.  He makes a pretty girl but not that much."  He bounced his in the palms of his hands.  "Mine are almost fully uncharged.  It'll take days to recharge them."

Speed walked in and put something in front of him.  "Since my parents only took my bike and my books, Horatio had the rest in his garage.  Found those."  He looked at him.  "Are you going to be okay with this?"

"Hell no," he said firmly, staring at his best friend.  "I hated this. Especially after I got stuck that time.  Can you go?"

"I don't know.  We could do it to Ryan.  He'd look cute in Danny's disguise."  Stella giggled at that. "He would."  He looked at Tony.  "I made extras, remember?"

"I can see that."  He touched them.  "Should I go as you?"

"Might look odd since you're taller."  He pointed at Tony's emeralds, they matched his eyes.  "Those were yours, DiNozzo."

"Remember when we freaked my father out during that sudden trip?"

"Oh, I do.  I remember doing the healing spells on him as well since the nurse said we had done it maliciously."  Stella looked at him.  "The month we did these, his father decided to show up without warning to make sure his son was doing things properly.  Well, dear old dad caught us mid-change and caught Tony actually changing from being a girl back.  He was naked at the time, we were hurrying out of the clothes we had been wearing and into our own again because one of the kids saw him walk in the door.  He freaked," he said with a small, evil smirk.  "We're talking freaked so badly he shrieked and had a coronary.  The nurse decided we had been malicious so we learned the healing spells that day and night."  She patted him on the leg.  "Not our fault.  He always announced it before."

"Someone wrote him and told him I was sleeping with some unacceptable girl," Tony told him dryly. "That's why my mother said he showed up.  Did you know he never told her?"

"Doesn't really surprise me," Speed offered.  "He was probably ashamed you did that."

"Why did you do that?" Stella asked.

"To go spy on the girls in the quidditch changing room," Tony said, then he gave a small shrug.  "It was easier that way and we didn't get into trouble.  We pretended to be a year younger and in whichever house we weren't in.  It worked very well."

"That was before we started sleeping around," Speed sighed, smirking at Tony.  "That was our freshman year, right?"  Tony nodded.  "Yeah, we started to sleep around the next year.  Gods we created pretty hell."

Danny walked in.  "What are we doing?"

"Gibbs needs a high class female to go lure a rapist," Tony said grimly.  "Stella and Calleigh are overloaded. Ziva's too crass.  Guess who he picked."

Danny looked at him, then shuddered.  "Eww."

"I was thinking Ryan would look great in your former disguise," Speed offered.

Danny looked at him then pulled his wand and changed Speed into a dog, rolling up a newspaper for a portkey and sending them both to Horatio.  "So," he said dryly.  "Does this mean Stella's gotta help you shop for girl stuff?"

"Let's see what I look like first," he offered, taking the most charged pair and putting them into his ears.  He slowly changed, then he felt the barrier be reached.  He pulled his wand and cast the changing spell, linking it into the earrings.

Stella looked at the pretty brunette in front of them.  Slightly curvy.  Good, fit body.  Some muscles.  Definitely needed to shave.  "How long before you're finished?   Your muscles show through."

"They will," he agreed.  "Then again I'm supposed to be a servicewoman."  He shrugged and stood up, looking at himself.  He and Danny charged the earrings better and he finished shifting slightly.  "There, better."

"Not what I'd expect but we can work with it, Tony.  Go shave.  Everything."

"Must I?" he complained.

"Yeah, the military has shaving rules," Danny reminded him.  "One of the reasons I didn't go."  Tony huffed off to use Stella's electric razor.  "We were geekier as freshmen, now he can play off the muscles as being part of his PT training."

"True, and a push-up bra will do wonders for the small breasts he's got."  They shared an evil look.

"I heard that," Tony called.  "High class, not hooker!"

"Sure," she agreed.  "I wanted to go shopping for a few new bras today anyway."  She went to get her things and handed Tony a skirt so he could get used to it again.  Then they went together.  It was nice having a shopping buddy.  Now they'd have to get Danny into his set to see what he looked like.

Tony looked at her and pulled out his wallet, unhiding a picture to show her.  "That's why we thought you were Speed," he said dryly.

She looked and burst out laughing.  Speed could've been her sister.  Danny was a leggy blonde with a nice set.  Tony still had small breasts even then.  She handed it back with a smile.  "Think we can get him into it for kinky sex games?"

"Danny said he'd never do it that way when we suggested it once in our senior year, when we were all girlfriendless and miserable.  They were mad at us."  He got her into the cab and followed.  "Her choice," he told the cabbie, noticing his voice was still lower than it should be.  "By the end of tonight it'll be fixed," he offered quietly.

She nodded. "Good.  We can use that time for practice."  He groaned but nodded.  "Think about it as another undercover, dear."  She patted his thigh.

"I do but Gibbs so owes me," he muttered.  She nodded.  "I should stick him in a set," he complained.  She smirked at that and he caught the evil look.  He gave one back.  "Not a bad idea."  She cackled and he hugged her. "I knew you were the perfect student for us, baby."

"Thank you, Tony."  They got out where they needed to go, handing the cabbie enough money, and went inside to bra shop.  She found a saleswoman and pointed at Tony.  "She's got to go out tonight.  She's hopeless.  Fix her?"  The saleswoman looked Tony over.  "She's a servicewoman."

"I'm in the Marines," Tony said demurely, smiling a bit.

"I'm sure we can make you beautiful tonight.  Where are you going?"

"To some high class politician's bar in DC."

That got a nod.  "Then we can definitely dress you up, my dear.  Come with me.  Your friend can browse."

"I had the washer eat a few of mine anyway," Stella noted, heading for her usual style.

Tony was led to look at a few, finding some that did make him look more attractive and less manly.

***

Horatio looked at the dog that landed beside him and the newspaper.  Then he took a good look at the dog.  "Were you naughty, Speed?" he asked quietly, picking him up to look at him.  Speed growled.  "Uh-huh.  Should I smack with the paper?"  He could feel Danny had sent him so he sent him a thought about why.  He got back that Speed was giving out evil thoughts and he was a bad dog.  To smack him.  Speed groaned at that.  He put him down and walked him away from everyone else, changing him back.  "No more sudden trips."

"Not like I wanted to do that this time," he complained.  "Danny changed me."

"I know he did, Speed.  He told me why too."  He gave him a look and headed back.  "Don't do that to Eric."

"I was thinking about Ryan actually," he admitted, coming out to help.  He had been bored on his day off anyway.

Alexx looked at him.  "You were thinking about doing what?"

"Disguise spells," he said dryly, smirking at her.  "On Ryan."

"Don't do that to him.  He's just a poor little boy."

"So?"

"Speedy."

He shrugged and grinned.  "I'll have fun.  Besides, Eric doesn't mind helping me pick up women."

"Do not," Horatio warned.  "Remember, we do go on ID's, Speed."

"Yes, Horatio," he sighed.  That just meant he had to be a bit more sneaky....

***

Tony's change finished during dinner and he groaned, clutching his stomach.  "I hate that part."

"How much changed?" Don asked.

He looked at him.  "Go put on some of mine, Don."

"No thanks," he said quickly, stuffing his mouth.  He sent a thought at Mac, offering it to him.

Mac glared at him.  "For that, you can watch tonight and not have any."

"Hmm, that's a very girlish response, Mac," Stella teased.  He glared at her too.  She just grinned back.  "I've had a good day."

"I'm sure you have," he said dryly.  "I didn't."

"Sorry."  She hugged him.  "We'd never do that to you, Mac.  I promise we won't."  He huffed but let it go.  "Did Horatio spank Speed for his thought?"

"Nope," Tony said, winking at her.  He finished up and went to clean up then headed to Gibbs' house, scaring the shit out of him when he appeared.  He glared at his boss.  "You owe me so deeply I'm going to bury you long before you pay me back."

"You're cute," he offered.

"I can still hit you too, boss."

"Sure you can."  Tony slugged him, making him step back and hold his lip. "Okay, so you can still hit in that form.  Even better, DiNozzo.  Now, go get Ducky to help you fit in."  He looked her over.  "You do look good in that."

"Yeah, and I'm going in as a trannie Marine," he said dryly, stomping off.

Gibbs watched him go.  He'd get him for that in the morning because he knew better than to mess up a woman's hair; he didn't want that migraine again.  He knew this was not going to be a fun assignment by the way the glass in his door cracked when Tony slammed it shut.  Even his exes hadn't managed that one.  Maybe he'd call Messer tonight and see if he should watch out for anything when Tony was like this.  Better yet, he'd call Speed.  Danny might pick on the poor guy.  He was like that.

***

Speed finished working on the new ID, printing it off and using the small laminator he had stored to finish it off properly.  Then he gathered up the present he had been working on all day.  The suitcase was easily taken with him.  He cast a scrying spell on Ryan's room.  He was out like a light.  Good.  Speed popped into his living room, pausing to listen.  Ryan shifted but didn't get up.  He cast a wanded muffling charm, knowing Ryan would feel wandless magic and wake up.  He snuck up the stairs, casting a sleep charm when he saw him reaching for his bedside table.  He smirked and hurried in, packing all of Ryan's boy clothes into the bottomless suitcase and putting the girl clothes in there instead.  Then he carefully put the earrings onto him and linked them into Ryan's powers.  Then he giggled and disappeared.  Ryan would wake up when his alarm went off.  It was his best prank in years!

***

Ryan woke up and rubbed his eyes, looking around his room.  Something seemed off.  Something was different.  There was magic floating around that wasn't his.  He carefully felt the magic. It was wanded.  He couldn't tell whose though.  He got up and went into the bathroom, going to start his morning process.  He'd think after he woke up in the shower since it hadn't been chaos magic or harmful magic.  He walked past his mirror then backed up to look again.

Then he woke his neighbors with his scream.

He sat down and called Horatio.  "Someone with a wand broke in and changed me," he said hotly.  "I'm a girl!" he screamed.  "I know I'm not naturally one," he assured the tolerant voice.  He found his ID, it had changed.  "Did I miss a memo, Horatio?  Even my ID has been changed."  Horatio promised to be right there, to calm down and use his magic to find the spell on him.  He hung up and went to shower, thinking in there.  The water helped him focus, he knew how his body reacted to water.  He knew it was on his head.  On his ears.  He felt, he didn't feel anything there.  Something was hidden but he didn't know what.  He came out and went to look in his closet, sneering at the girl's clothes in there.  "Someone is going to pay," he decided, pulling out the female version of his usual pants and sweater vest with a nice shirt underneath it.  He looked at himself.  "I look like a librarian," he groaned, going to find underwear.  He had forgotten to put any on and it was more important in a skirt and when you had breasts.  His underwear had been changed over too.  He picked up a thong on one fingertip, looking at it. "If this was Delko, I'm so killing him," he muttered, putting it back.  All thongs.  He snarled and pulled that one out, putting it on under the skirt.  Then he found a bra.  Definitely not his usual sort.  Push-up bra no less.  He undressed and put it on, going to answer the door like that when it was knocked on.  Horatio stared, then blushed.  "Oh, get over it!  It's still me," he snapped.

"Mr. Wolfe, I know you're under a lot of stress," he offered, glaring at him. Ryan huffed off again.   "I haven't seen Calleigh do that in months," he noted, following him into the apartment, closing the door behind him.  He cast the forensics spells, coming up with something. Looks like he and his second needed to have a discussion about his playful nature after all.  He saw Ryan come out.  "I speak as the brother-in-law of a cranky woman.  You'll want something so your thighs won't rub and chafe," he offered.

"I am not wearing pantyhose," he growled.

"Then don't.  You'll still be irritated later.  I would suggest some lotion and possibly shaving in that case."  Ryan looked down and whimpered.  "Go do that.  I know it was someone in the labs."

"Did Delko do this to me?  I know he hates me but really!" Ryan complained.  "It's not my fault you replaced Speed with me when he died!"

"It's not," he agreed.  "This had nothing to do with that.  This is a prank," he assured him.

"They changed my ID, Horatio!"

"The more thorough the better the prank," he assured him.  "Go shave or put on pants."

"I can't, all my pants are missing and all I have are skirts.  Some shorter than this one."  He stomped off again, going to do that.  He came out after he had shaved and lotioned the new razor burn, stomping out in the heels he had found.  He nearly turned his ankle on the stairs.

"Slow and calm down," Horatio ordered quietly.  "Before you kill yourself."  Ryan took a calming breath.  "Now, eat and we'll go in, Mr. Wolfe."

"Shouldn't I be Miss Wolfe?" he asked bitterly, heading for the kitchen.

"Not at the moment."  Ryan's house elf squealed from in there and came running out.

"Scrubby, did you see anyone in here last night?" Ryan asked.

"No, Scubby go visit with other house elfs," he said, looking miserably.  "Scrubby failed master."  He started to bang his head.

"I said not to do that," Ryan said firmly.  Scrubby stopped.  "I also said you could go visit the other house elves.  It's not your fault someone wanted to prank me."  He sipped his morning coffee, then fixed a very quick breakfast.  He grabbed his new ID, showing it to Horatio.

"They were thorough."  He looked at him.  "Would you like the day off?"

"No, I want to face down whichever bastard did this to me and beat the shit out of them in the lab," he said firmly.  "But so help me God, if Eric Delko hits on me, I'm punching him."  He walked out, tripping again.  He figured out how to walk in the heels by the time he got down to the hummer, letting Horatio get in to drive.  "Can we figure out how long this'll last?"

"Until whatever is holding the spell is off you."

"They're on my ears. I can't feel anything but the spell."

Horatio looked and nodded.  "They're hidden.  Very well hidden."

"I noticed someone with a wand had been in there."  He gave him a hurt look.  "I like you guys."

"I know.  It was a very mean prank and we'll get him back, Ryan.  I promise you we'll get him back."

"Which means it was Speed," he said dryly.

"It was."

"Why?"

"He came up with the idea yesterday after Tony had to pull out some old disguise spells for an undercover.  That's why he got sent back as a dog yesterday."

"He's going to be a beaten puppy today too.  I will put these size ten heels up his ass for this.  Just please, keep Eric from hitting on me?"

"I'll do my best."  He drove them to work, mentally yelling at Speed over the link.  They got out and Frank stared.  "No, Frank."

"New tech?"

"I'm in as a temp," Ryan said with a forced smile.  "Not my idea."   He just nodded at that so Ryan walked on, going to hopefully find Speed.  If not, Alexx.  She would help him torture Speed.  He knew she would.

Frank looked at Horatio.  "Is she related to Wolfe?  She looks just like him."

"His sister, Frank."  He walked up to his office, mentally ordering Speed to be there when he got there.  He found Eric smiling and chatting with the 'new girl' and walked over there. "Not now, Eric."

"It's nice to see new people and if Wolfe's family is coming into the lab, it might make him happier."

"I know that.  She's in to intern today, Eric.  So we're needed in the office."  Eric shrugged and walked off.

Calleigh looked at them.  "Oh, honey, you need to change shoes.  Those'll never do in the field.  You're have swollen ankles within an hour."

"All I had in the closet," he admitted bitterly.

"If you decide to go into the field, invest in some nursing shoes.  They're really good."  She patted her on the arm and grinned.  "It's nice to have another female in the field with me.  It's lonely being the one to kick Eric's butt for making girl jokes.  Watch out for that.  He's a bit of a playboy."  She just nodded.  "I see you've met Eric.  Okay.  Horatio, Speed's lurking somewhere and hiding."

"He'll be in my office by the time I get up there or he's going to have the worst day in existence," he assured her.  He walked Ryan into his office, finding Speed tied in there.  "Who tied you up?"

"Abby.  Tony sent her down because he said I was mean."  He looked at Ryan.  "This way you get to see what they really think about you."  He changed to his cat form and got free, then back up, looking at him.  "You were worried about your place in the lab.  Now you'll know."

"You weren't doing it because of that.  You probably went home and masturbated to it," he said bitterly.

"Not my type, Wolfe.  Now, Danny in his disguise, that's my type.  You're a bit too good of a girl for me."  He gave him a look, then a smirk.  "Besides, think of all the hell you can get on Eric."

"I don't want to do that."

"Give it a day," he said, staring him down and smirking evilly.  "I could use the help."

"No.  No no nonononono!  Take it off."

"No.  I've got today off.  I've already been approved.  Have fun with that!"   He smiled and disappeared.

"Shit!" Ryan muttered, glaring at Horatio.  "Can I kill him again?"

"No. Leave him to me, Ryan."

"I want to watch."

"You'll get to see it," he promised.

"Good."  He looked at his shoes, then back at him.  "She's right.  Can I wear the sneakers from my locker?"

"Fine."  Ryan went to get those from his locker, running into Frank again.

"Leaving already?"

"Going to borrow Ryan's running shoes.  These were all I had and I've been told I can't work in them."

"Probably true.  Looks like they'd hurt after a few hours.  Then again I think most women's shoes would hurt after a few hours.  So, what was Ryan like when he was younger?"

"A bit uptight.  Slowly going insane," he offered, feeling really weird.  "How is he doing here?"

"Okay.  He's had some rough spots but he's a good CSI.  Most of the time.  Half his rough spots were his own making but he's learned better since then."  She just nodded at that.  "He told you?"

"Yup, and then he went home and hit his head on the walls."

"Ah.  Well, at least he's learned better."  He patted her on the shoulder.  "Go change shoes.  There's likely to be a body call anytime soon."  He walked off, going to talk to Horatio about his last case.  He found him watching and watched her disappear into the locker area.  "Is she gonna be okay?  She seems kinda delicate and unsure."

"She's fine, Frank.  That's why she's an intern."  Horatio looked at him.  "Ryan will be back tomorrow I'm sure."

"Where is he?"

"Out of town on a personal matter.  He didn't want to get in her way."

"That's a nice thing for a sibling to do," he agreed, grinning.  "Do we have a suspect yet?  That file is growing dust."

"I'm trying, Frank.  It's not happening very quickly."

"Fine.  Make me pout."  He smiled at Calleigh as she came up to them.  "Hi, pretty one."

She pinched him on the arm but smiled. "I'm more than just a pretty face, Frank.  Where's the new girl?"

"Borrowing Ryan's running shoes."

"Probably a good idea.  Where is Ryan?"

"That's his sister so he's out of town to give her a clear day of interning without him hovering or helping her any."

"That's a wonderful sibling," she agreed, smiling when Ryan came back.  "Hi again.  Those will be a lot more comfortable.  What's your first name?"

Ryan paused.  "Renee.  I don't use it much though.  Mostly I've gotten into the habit of being 'Wolfe' anymore."

"Yeah, some teachers are like that," she offered.  "Then again, they couldn't figure out how to pronounce my last name so I got to growl it at many teachers."  She smiled.  "So, who's she going with, boss?"

"You, Calleigh.  I don't want her working with Eric and Speed's off today," he said calmly, looking at Ryan.  "If that's all right?  I've got a day in the lab for Frank."

"Whatever's fine," she agreed dryly.  "Can I go say hi to Alexx?  Ryan's said a lot about her," he offered with a grin.

"Sure, I can take you down there," she promised, walking him down to the morgue, chatting happily about her brother and what he had been up to.

Ryan did learn a lot from her about how she thought of him.  He grinned and winked.  "Let me go surprise her.  I'm doubting Ryan even mentioned me.  We're not real close."

"That's fine.  Come back upstairs and to the same hallway but head to the south corner from there.  That's where I'll be."  He nodded she walked off, happy with the new intern.

Ryan walked into the morgue and watched Alexx work for a minute, then came over.  She stared at him, frowning.  "Ryan said he was an only child," she said finally.

He smiled and moved closer, whispering in her ear.  "I am, I'm going to kill your other son."

"Oh, damn, baby," she said, pushing him back to look at him.  "He did what?"  She nodded.  "Uh-huh.  Are you okay?"

"Do I look okay?"

"Surprisingly enough, yes," she admitted, looking him over.  "The running shoes were a good idea."

"All I had were heels in the closet and skirts, Alexx.  Someone had bad taste.  They put thongs in my drawer and push-up bras."

She stroked his cheek. "I'll help you however I can, sweetie.  Now, he never mentioned your name to me?"

"Renee."

"Renee then," she agreed, smiling at that.  "You think well on your feet, remember that.  We'll talk to your big brother in a few hours."

Ryan nodded.  "I'm thinking cattle prod.  You?"

"He'd know something was up then.  Who else knows?"

"Horatio.  He came to drive me in this morning."

"He'll have it well in hand," she assured him.  "Trust Horatio to know what needs to be done."  He nodded at that.  "Good girl," she said with a wink.  "Who are you stuck with today since I'm assuming you're in as an intern."

"Calleigh.  She said a lot of nice stuff about Ryan."

"I'm sure she did."  She patted him again.  "Eat lunch with me if you can, baby.  Now, go back to work before Horatio has to get mean and snarl.  Also, watch out for Eric."

"We chatted pleasantly already.  He was very nice so far."  He walked out, going back to ballistics.  He found Eric in there with her.  "Am I working with both of you today?"

"No, he came to nag for reports," she admitted.  She smiled.  "Eric, did you meet Renee, Ryan's sister, yet?"

"I had and she seemed very nice," he agreed, grinning at her.  "Where is your brother?"

"Out of town on personal business to give me a clear day," she admitted, moving closer.  "Can I help?"

"No, honey, an intern's job is to watch and soak up stuff," Calleigh reminded her.  She handed over what she had.  "Murder weapon, wounding weapon.  Second wounding weapon.  Fingerprints had a go at both of them," she finished.

"Thanks, Calleigh."  He grinned at both of them.  "Maybe you'll get to come out on a case with me later."  He walked off, going to fingerprints.

Calleigh looked at the door then at Ryan.  "What the hell is going on?"

"Speed."

"Oh, no," she said.  "I've seen your personnel file by accident."  Ryan closed the door and nodded.  "When?"

"Last night.  Alexx and Horatio know."

"Sure.  You can play intern today all you want, Ry."  She smiled at that.  "We'll be fine and get him back."

"Horatio said he would."

"Even better.  Where is he?"

"Disappeared."

"Huh."  She shook her head. "Let's hope he's not doing something stupid."

"No, if he is, it'll break," he assured her.  "Probably at the worst moment when there's a camera around."  He glanced around then moved out of sight, adjusting his bra.  "How do you guys wear these?"

"I don't wear those.  I wear comfortable things.  You can tell who picked those out."

"Tony?"

"Yup."  They shared a look.  "What is he doing?"

"Undercover," he said grimly.  "The same way."

"Hell.  Well, at least you're not alone.  We'll help you, Ry.  I promise."

"How did you know?"

"You never said anything when I mentioned Ryan had some troubles."

"Frank said the same thing."

"Well, you did kinda make some of your own problems there."

"Sorry."

"I know.  It's a newbie thing.  We all had those problems at least once."  She patted him on the arm.  "Now, come help me."  He came over to help her.  It was his case after all.

***

Horatio looked up as Ryan came up with case files for him to sign.  "Have a decent day?"

"More or less.  A lot of people wanted to talk to me about Ryan and a few were wanting me to get him psychological help for his OCD and control issues.  Some of the other ones wanted me to get him fashion help."  He frowned. "I like my sweater vests."

"If you're comfortable, they're better than Speed wore for nearly a year," Horatio said blandly.  "He went grunge for a year."

"Valera said half the time I looked like a reject from Miami Vice."

Horatio smirked.  "You don't want me to answer that allegation."

"Fine.  Does that mean..."

"You're presentable, you're clean, and you're comfortable.  That's all I care about."

"Thank you."  He closed the door and looked at him.  "Any luck getting Speed back here yet?"

"Some."  He pointed at the dog chained in his corner. The beagle gave them both unhappy looks.  "He wouldn't tell me what he used."  Someone knocked on the door.  "What?"

Eric stuck his head in.  "I was going to ask Miss Wolfe if she'd like to go out for a drink tonight."

"Unfortunately I have to talk to my brother tonight before I leave," she offered, giving him a small grin.  "Maybe next time I'm in town?"  Eric beamed and nodded, leaving it there and closing the door behind himself.  He looked at Horatio.   "I'm never doing this again," he mouthed.  Horatio laughed quietly.  "Okay, so now what?"

"Let's lock the door.  Who else figured it out?"

"Calleigh."

"Interesting."  He locked the door and put up the anti-eavesdropping spells.  They both heard Eric yelp.  "Very interesting."  He pointed his wand at Speed. "Finite Incantantum."  Speed returned and took the dog collar off himself.  "Speed, fix it," he growled.

"Sorry.  You couldn't take the chain off?"

"I'm going to castrate you," Ryan offered.  "Then we can put the chain somewhere else."

"You're mean," he complained.

"I've got breasts, Speed!  I'm allowed!"  Speed went pale.  "Are we clear?"

"You sound like you've got PMS," Speed offered but he undid the hiding charm and took off the earrings.  Ryan returned and patted himself down with a sigh.  "You do look cute in that skirt."

Ryan groaned.  He took a deep breath and concentrated.  There were people at his home.  He concentrated harder and the clothes changed.  The bra got tossed onto the desk and Ryan stood up, backing Speed up against the windows.  "You are so going to pay for this, Timothy.  You forget what you're messing with."  He hissed something and flicked him on the forehead, making him shiver and then squeak as he changed.  "Good!"  He stomped off, going home.  He wanted to see who was waiting on him.  He walked in and found Alexx and Calleigh.  "He's done.  He's a mermaid and he's done."  He smiled sweetly.  "I was not amused and bras hurt," he shared, heading to his room.  "Let me take a shower."

"Sure, baby," Alexx promised.  "I didn't think mermaids were real."

"Me either," Calleigh said, then she shrugged.  "I'm having fun.  You?"

"Oh, I so am.  Especially since Eric's been watching but didn't quite manage to figure things out yet."

"He's a guy," she said, waving a hand.  "There's a reason why they only get one female CSI.  Any more than that and the guys would be outshone."

"Not funny," Ryan called.

"Sorry, dear, but it's true," she called up there.  "Need help?"

"I need my clothes back.  Or else I'm going to take Speed's credit card and go shopping."  A bag landed on the bed behind him and he sighed, pulling out his beloved, comfortable clothes.  He came down in something a bit less than work clothes.  "Sorry, needed that.  I got pinched today but no less than ten people, including Natalia, who decided I dress like a reject from Miami Vice now and then.  Tough, but she did."  He walked into the kitchen.  "Anyone else helping me get drunk to forget today?"

"Are you sure you should?  You did learn a very valuable lesson in tolerance," Alexx pointed out.

Ryan came out with a beer.  "The next woman I date will never have to shave to please me.  She'll be a braless hippy who wears earth shoes.  Or else I'm taking on a guy."  He went back to finding himself something to drink for dinner.  "Anyone want anything?  Scrubby?"  He reappeared, looking scared.  "Where were you?"

"Visiting other house elf."

"Are you and this other house elf dating?" he asked.  Scrubby looked shy and looked down at his feet.  "Okay.  Then we'll work that out, Scrubby.  Do you guys get married?"

"House elfs is not like peoples," he said firmly.  "House elfs not have those!  House elfs see each other and have babies!"  He scowled.  "Master Ryan needs to learn more about house elfs."

"Yeah, but you're the first I've ever talked to so it's your job too, Scrubby.  By the way, I took a shower."  Scrubby went up there to clean it.  Ryan came out with a half a fifth from the back of a cabinet and a six pack of beers. "This is my dinner, am I sharing?"  The girls kissed him on the cheeks and left.  He settled in to get drunk, at least until someone knocked on the door.  "What?"

"It's me," Eric called.

Ryan got up and went to open it, looking at him.  "What?" he repeated.

"You have a sister?"

"Long story."

"She looked a lot like you."

"Ask Speed, he knows her."

"I would but I've got to go find him in the harbor in a minute."  He walked in and closed the door, looking at him.  "What happened?  When did you get your ears pierced?"

"Speed put them on me last night."

"Ah.  Every now and then he turns me into a dog to go pick up women while playing with me," he admitted.  He looked at the two empty beer cans and the open bottle.  "That was you?"  Ryan nodded, grimacing.  "Did anyone else know?"

"Alexx and Calleigh figured it out.  Horatio was the one I called."

Eric gave him a manly hug with a back slap.  "I'm here for you, Ryan.  He picks on me too.  That's the only bad thing about Speed.  He's got a pranking nature and little common sense.  So, are you the reason he's a mermaid?"

Ryan beamed.  "Yup."  Eric laughed at that. "Wanna help me get drunk?"

"After I get Speed back for Horatio."  He grinned.  "At least you matched him for meanness."  He headed off, going out to his hummer to dive down by the harbor.  Horatio had magiced him into the water long enough to go home and set up something.  Now he was ready for him.  Eric sat on the edge of the dock. "Speed?" he called quietly.  A female head with long, brunette, curly hair popped up.  "You know, I should leave you out there for all the times you turned me into a dog to get all the cute chicks."

"That's cruel," she complained, swimming closer.  "The same as Ryan was."

"Yeah, well, you turned him into a girl, Speed. He's drinking dinner tonight.  The same as I have a few times because one of those girls decided to play with my balls as a dog."  He gave him a look.  "Now, you can apologize or you can magic your own ass to H's."

"Fine, I'm sorry.  I won't prank you or Ryan again.  I thought it could help him and be fun.  This way he'd learn what we think about him."

"Mostly he got that the OCD is a bad thing and he dresses funny."  He held out a hand.  "Wand?"

"In the office.  Horatio confiscated it."  He held up a hand and Eric hauled him up beside him.  "Thanks.  I'm sorry.  You like being a dog."

"Now and then.  Not all the time."  He got up and hefted Speed to the car, letting him have the other front seat.  "H can explain the mess to the auto detail boss."  He drove him over to Horatio's house, parking as close to the door as he could.  "You could stand losing a few pounds, buddy," he complained as he carried him.

"Shut up, Eric.  I'm not fat."

"You're not," Horatio agreed as he opened the door, letting him inside but helping carry him past Alexx and Calleigh, who both stared and giggled.  "This is why it's not a good idea to prank the people you work with."

"I can't prank Tony, he's on assignment, and I can't remember why I don't prank Danny, just that I don't."

"You three have to remove those blocks," Horatio complained, putting him into the tub he had run.  "There, how's that?"

"Feels pretty good.  Thank you, Horatio.  When can we get him to remove this?"

"He's drinking dinner," Eric told him.  "He's already had at least two beers and some liquor."

"Damn it."  He pouted.  "At least I made him cute.  He made me hideous."

"You're not," Horatio assured him, heading off with Eric.  "I'll bring you something to eat in a while."

"Thank you."  He flicked the end of his tail, looking around.  Horatio hadn't done much in here. It was a pretty standard, white bathroom. No decorative touches or anything. Then again, most of the house was that way.  Horatio didn't spend a lot of time at home.   He was always working.  He really needed to find Horatio a girlfriend.  Someone tapped on the door. "What?" he called, sounding a bit cranky.

Calleigh came in and put some food beside him.  "There you go, dear."  She patted him on the head and grinned.  "You're so cute!"

"Bite me, woman," he complained.  She giggled and left him alone. He started to pray to every deity there ever was to reverse this thing.  Otherwise Ryan might not be able to and he'd turn fishy during the next rainstorm he got caught out in.  That was the way chaos magic worked.  Easy to apply, harder to get off.  He heard a quiet pop and looked back, finding Alex there.  "I pranked Ryan."

"So I heard."  He looked him over, then pulled his wand and started on the countering.  "Huh, you're a fully female mermaid.  You didn't find another one, right?"

"I'm not the kinky one in the group, that was Tony!" he complained.  "Or Danny."

Alex gave him a look.  "Yeah, right," he said dryly, undoing the spell slowly and carefully.  "Well," he decided finally.  "You've got a vagina, still, and you've got some scales, but those should finish coming off in a few days."  He grinned and disappeared.

Speed looked down at his lap, then whimpered.  He had both.  This was not a good thing.  He went back to praying once he got out and dried off, summoning some of his clothes wandlessly so he could put them on.  He looked at the tunafish sandwiches he had been given and banished them to Ryan before heading downstairs.  "Alex fixed it partially," he offered, pouting some. "I'm sorry."

"That's all right," Horatio assured him. "You'll apologize to Ryan tomorrow and get him to fix the rest of it."  Speed gave him a look.  "You still smell like a fish, Speed."

"I've only got a few scales," he defended.  "He said they'd come off in a few days."

"Is that all?" Eric asked, looking him over.  "You're standing funny.  Legs hurt?"

"No!"  He turned away and looked at Horatio.  "I'm going to hide."  He disapparated home.

"No, I believe Alex left other things," Horatio noted dryly, saluting Eric with his can of beer.  "I should probably go clean up the bathroom."

Eric called home.  "Can you come clean Horatio's house?  Thank you."  The house elf hung up and appeared next to him.  "Speed got turned into a mermaid for a few minutes.  The bathroom held him.  Can you clean it?"

"Of course.  Doorstop can clean any mess nearly as well as Scrubby."  She blushed and disappeared.

"Oh, dear.  It looks like she and Scrubby are wanting to mate," Horatio sighed. "We'll have to deal with that."

"Do they get married?" Eric asked.

"No," Horatio said slowly. "I'll find you the book, Eric.  Ryan could probably use it too."  He took another drink.  "Go home.  Rest.  It's going to be another one of those days tomorrow."  Eric nodded, heading to Speed's house to talk to him.  And maybe see what else was still around.

Horatio leaned back.  "Doorstop, should we expect a baby house elf?" he called quietly.  She popped in next to him, looking scared.  "Remember, Eric's a muggle, a nature path person.  So is Ryan.  They have no idea."

She blushed and nodded.  "Doorstop and Taps and Scrubby all very close friends. All get into house elf piles many times."  Horatio stroked her ear.  "Doorstop not mean to offend."

"You didn't.  They didn't know.  Where did you want your child kept, Doorstop?"

"Big castley place?" she asked hopefully.  "Very prestigious."

"I know a cursebreaker who lives in one."  She gave him an awed look.  "I'll talk to Alex Dumass later."  She squealed and hugged him then went back to making his bathroom spotless for that kindness.  He called Alex's cellphone.  "It's me.  No one realized that Taps, Doorstop, and Scrubby liked each other in that special way.  Yes, Doorstop is," he said dryly.  "She wanted her to go work in a castle, Alex.  Of course."  He smiled.  "You or Philip would probably be an excellent placement.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "He'll see if his house elves can take on a new member, if not he'll talk to the headmaster at the school over there."  She hugged him again and went to make him a great and special dinner.  Because he deserved it.  Hogwarts was a place where house elf royalty served.  He smiled and relaxed.  It was nice to have her here.

***

Tony came in from his first night out hunting the rapist and flopped onto his couch, turning on his tv.  Someone tapped on the door.  "Not accepting visitors," he called.

"I know you're not Tony," a female voice called.

He groaned and looked himself over, then got up and went to open the door, looking at his own very special psycho ex.  "No, I'm his cousin and I'm apartment sitting since I had to be this way while he was out of town for something.  Why?"

"He's not dating anyone but me," she sneered.

"I'm his cousin, twit.  That's against the law in most states."  He slammed the door in her face and went to find his wand.  He'd had enough of her.  He blocked her memories of him and she wandered off looking confused, hanging up with the police. Someone still came to check.  He opened it and found an officer, and McGee just pulling in.  "Can I help you?"

"Is this your apartment, ma'am?"

"No, this is my cousin's apartment and he's out of town at the moment.  I'm housesitting and helping his boss, Gibbs over at NCIS, with a case since they needed a female agent for a few days.  Timmy," she said happily, pulling him closer to hug, hissing in his ear to play along.  "This is one of my cousin's coworkers, Tim McGee."

"Sir, do you know the owner of this apartment?"

"Y..yeah, Tony DiNozzo.  Senior agent on Gibbs' team," he offered, shaking his head to clear the confusion from the breasts resting against him.  "Why?  Is there a problem I should call him about, officer?"

"We got a report she wasn't supposed to be in there."

"No, we needed a female for a case and she agreed to fill in while Tony was out of town doing something about his father or something. Something personal.  He didn't say more than that."

"That's fine.  Can I see your ID?"  McGee pulled it out and he took note of it.  "Thank you, sir."

"Welcome, Officer..."  He looked.  "Stayton.  Have an easy night on patrol."

"You too, sir."  He handed it back and walked off, getting into his cruiser.

McGee walked into the apartment, pulling Tony with him.  Tony shut the door and leaned against it, giving him a look.  "What was that?"

"Remember me talking about Veronica?" he asked dryly.

"Yeah, you called her psycho chick a few times.  Why?"

"She's the one who called.  I told her I was Tony's cousin.  She said only she could date Tony.  I pointed out that cousins dating was illegal in most states and slammed the door in her face."

"So she called the cops to report the break-in.  Gotcha," McGee agreed, smiling at him. "How did it go?"

"Decently enough."  He put down his wire and handed over the tape.  "Here, all yours.  I'm going to change into sweats."

"Sure.  Are you going to *change* as well?" he asked.

"Probably can't. It'll lose power again.  Then it'll take another full day," he said bitterly, closing his bedroom door.  "Would you go pour me a beer?"

"Sure."  He went to do that, finding the bottles of very good German beer in the fridge.  He nearly dropped it when he heard the pop however.  He turned and found an older man standing there.  "Um, did you miss your apparation point, sir?  Tony, company."

Tony came out in a tank top and a pair of sweats.  "Oh, hey, dad.  Bitchy assignment this week."  He took the beer and gave McGee a look, then smiled and kissed him.  "Sugar.  I know I lost the bet, but do I *have* to stay this way?"  McGee spluttered and blinked, turning red.  "Awww."  He sipped his beer, looking at his father, who fell down grabbing his chest. "Hey, second time that's worked."  He called the others over the bond, getting Danny running with Mac.  "Should I call a normal ambulance or a healer?"

"Healer, your father would throw a fit if you got him into a muggle place," Danny pointed out as they worked.  Tony walked over his father's feet to do that.  Danny and Mac shared a look then he shrugged.  "His father nearly died the last time he saw him in that look and us changing."  He got back to work, ignoring the groans of his patient.  The healer popped in and took charge, floating the older man to his bedroom.  Danny helped Mac up and looked at Tony.  "You're very bad," he mouthed.

"Crappy assignment then Veronica was here."  He took another drink.  "Really."

"I'm sorry," Danny sighed, giving him a hug.  "It'll be okay."

"I blocked her and he just appeared without warning.  Not my fault I'm on this assignment.  Blame Gibbs.  He made me."  He finished his beer.  "This isn't his first one," he called.

"I've noticed."  He came out.  "I may not be able to keep him.  Is your stepmother available?"

"Not a clue," Tony admitted.  He moved to the small flame he had the floo port on, lighting it.  "Mother."  She appeared and gaped in horror.  "Sorry, mother.  It's for an undercover assignment.  We're trying to catch a rapist and the only female on my team isn't cultured enough to go where we need her to go.  My boss demanded.  Anyway, father just popped in and saw me like this. He's having his second coronary in my bedroom.  The healer wanted  you."

"You're fairly cold about this."

He gave her a look.  "The last time he popped in unannounced he saw and did the same thing.  It's almost habit with him.  This is why you should call first.  Or so you told me."  He signed off and went to talk to his father.  "It really is for an assignment, father, not a bet."  His father gasped and reached up to him so he took his hand.  "Gibbs needed one and I got nominated, or else McGee would've."

"My son," he gasped.

"I still am without the earrings, father. Even with this, I'm still staying at NCIS as well.  Sorry to have disappointed you."

"Sister," he gasped.

"No, I don't have a sister.  I'm an only child unless you had one with a mistress."  He finished his beer and put the bottle down then looked at him again. "If I take it off, it'll wear it out and take too long to get back.  Then again, I could go seduce someone.  I haven't had sex in ages."  His father moaned and looked at him. "Sorry, but isn't that the DiNozzo way?"  His father nodded. "I called mother.  She'll call the tramp you married the second time.  You know, this is the second time you've shown up unannounced."

"My own stupidity," he agreed. "I'm sorry."

"Hmm.  Well, the healer's being iffy on you living or not.  Should I call anyone else?"

"You don't care?"

"I haven't cared.  Not since you drove Audry off."  His father let his hand go.  "I told you that."  He shrugged. "To you I was a pawn.  Why would I care now?"

"I was wrong."

"Hindsight's a bitch, dad."  He got out of the healer's way.  "Anything else you wanted to clear up?  I should go do a cleaning spell for Mom's sake."

"You're my heir," he said, staring at him. "Even like that.  Have...babies?" he gasped. Tony shook his head quickly. "Please?"

"Maybe some year if I ever find someone I love again.  If not, no.  Unless I screw up my birth control on a date.  Then maybe."  His father nodded. "Hey, you took the one person I would've died to have children with."

"Sorry," he said weakly.

Tony nodded.  "Pity you didn't realize that sooner, father."  He heard someone else coming in and looked. "Hey, Speed."

"Tony."  He came in and held him.  "You good?"

"For now."  He looked at him.  "He did it again."

"Damn.  Really sorry."  He looked at Tony's father.  "Hi, Mr. DiNozzo.  Don't worry, Danny and I will watch over Tony, like we have been."

His father swallowed.  "So sorry," he sighed, looking at the healer.  "My heir.  Make a note."

"I hear and witness," he agreed quietly.  "Try to rest, sir. You're not in good shape."

"He could be taken to a muggle place," Speed offered.  His father looked offended. "They've saved lives that were further over."

"No," he said, shaking his head.  "No more."  He saw his first wife appear and held up a hand.  "I'm sorry for you too."

"How many times has he said that?" she demanded.

"Four that I've heard," Tony offered, looking at her.  "Why, mom?"

"Because a seer once told him he'd die on the day he said sorry four times to the same person."

"One was to you.  Doesn't quite count."  He walked out with Speed, getting a hug from Danny and Mac, and Gibbs when he walked in. "Did you forget to call the bimbo, mom?"

"On purpose.  She killed herself earlier.  Her letter said she couldn't handle the stress or the shame of being his wife."

"Charming."  He shrugged. "Oh well."  He looked at Gibbs, then smacked him upside the head again.  "I owe you about eighty more, remind me."  He walked back into the kitchen to get another beer.

"He can't get out of it?" Gibbs asked.

"It'll make it lose power and it'll take another day or so to recharge so he'll be stuck in the change, which is pretty painful," Danny admitted.

"Oh."  He shuddered.  "If I had known, I'd have made you do it to McGee," he offered.

"Hey!" McGee complained.

"You're sensitive, you could pass for a woman," Gibbs assured him.  Tony choked on his beer through his laughter.  Gibbs moved closer. "You okay, DiNozzo?" he asked quietly.

"Not like I've given a damn in years," he said firmly. "They felt the same way."  His mother stormed off and he watched.  "Huh, must've just amended his will again.  Pity.  Now she knows how I feel."  He took another drink and wiped his chin off when the healer came back.  "He gone?"

"Not yet.  He wanted you again."

Tony walked that way, looking at his father's weakening body. "I'm back."

"I'm not blind."

"No, just stupid," he said, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice.  "What did you need done?"

"I've remade my will.  Upon my wand, you are my heir and everything is yours."

"I don't want it."

"I don't care."

"Obviously.  I'll give it to Mom.  Anything else?"  His father stared at him.  "Like I said, I'm staying here, even if I am going to torture Gibbs for centuries for this."

"I'm sorry, son.  I was a bad father."  He gasped and took his hand.  "Sell whatever you want.  You are my heir."  His hand went limp and he drifted off.

"He's lost consciousness," he called.  The healer rushed back in, working on him.  "Do whatever he wanted."

"Of course, sir.  Let us move him."  He cast a medical charm and moved them both back to his home.

Tony walked out.  "Gibbs, looks like I'll have to be in Rhode Island for a few weeks."  He took off the earrings, becoming himself after a few moments.  "He had to make it up to me by giving me *things*," he said bitterly, heading back to his room to clean it.  "Can I have Taps?"

"Taps?" Danny called.  He appeared.  "Go help Tony, his father nearly died in his bed."  The house elf nodded and went to clean for him.  Danny and Speed shared a look then he looked at Mac.  "We've got him. Head."  Mac nodded and headed home.  They went to pick Tony up and carry him back to his couch, putting him between them to cuddle each other.  Gibbs and McGee snuck off after a few quiet words to Tony.

Speed looked at him, thinking hard to make Tony laugh and break.  "You know, you could make one with red hair and go taunt your former director as Gibbs' new girl," he said quietly.  Tony did laugh at that and hugged him, letting himself relax and not think for a while.

"Then Gibbs might be made to prove it in court," Danny said patiently. "It's one thing to get us, but to get him?"

"He could use some excitement.  Or we could change Horatio and send him?"

Tony looked at him. "Speed, I love you, but don't help.  You're already in trouble with Ryan."  He snuggled in, looking him over.  "So, how was touching your new hole?"

Speed blushed.  "Very odd.  Did we do that before?"

"Don't know," Danny admitted.

"We need to unblock those memories," Tony agreed.  "When's the next moon dark?"

"Tomorrow night," Taps called.

"It's still a small road," Speed admitted. Danny nodded, he had apparently been there too.  "Then?" They nodded.  "Call me if I'm late."

"Midnight, Speed.  Don't be late," Danny warned.

"Yes, dear."  He settled in to consider the implications.  They had been made to memory charm each other due to something that had happened. They had lost a lot of their school memories that way.  It was necessary to undo it. He felt like half a person again.  Tony gave him a squeeze and snuck a hand down, making him swat him.  "Quit, Kinky Slut."

"Abby would squeal," Tony offered.

"No, and hope I don't die while I'm like this.  Alexx will laugh."

"Yup," Danny agreed, grinning at him.  "How odd is it?"

"You wanna find out?"

"No, Don would want that hole too."

Speed smirked.  "Might be fun."

"No way in hell," Danny assured him.   Don popped in and gave him a look.  "What?"

"If you did that, unless you were the prettiest thing ever, I'd only make myself watch you and Stella, Danny."  Tony pulled out his picture and handed it over, making Don gape.  Tony nodded.  "Well, um..."  Danny swatted him.  "Hard decision there, huh?"

"Not really," Speed noted dryly.  "I'm not going there.  If you want to go there with Danny, go recharge the earrings and put him into them."

"No," Danny said firmly.  "Especially not with his cult hanging around."

Mac appeared and grabbed Don.  "We'll let you three sleep.  Don's sleep deprived."  He forced him to go home then followed.

Stella glared at Don.  "Even if he was, I'm not like that.  Or else I'd be with three women."

"You know, with what they did..."  She pounced him onto the bed to beat the crap out of him, or to tickle him, or to make him beg...whatever came first.

Mac sat down to watch.  It was fun watching those two mock battle.

Memories in the Moonlight.

Danny popped into the area near where they'd need to be.  He had a picnic basket and a blanket.  He knew this wasn't going to be a one-hour thing and fortunately he had an understanding boss who agreed to block everyone else in the bond before they heard what had went on way back when.  He walked over to the spot they had marked, finding the marker gone.  Then again, it had been about fifteen years.  He spread everything out, including opening the bottle of wine.  Speed showed up when he was done for the day, taking the spot across from him, laying on his side to nibble and sip his wine.  Tony showed up and he was in a darker suit, then again his father had just died and he was being plagued by relatives who wanted things from him.  He laid down carefully, putting his coat over some nearby rocks.  He rested so he was curled up with his head on Danny's hip and comfortable, taking a berry to nibble. "Tonight, huh?" Tony asked finally.

"Tonight. I want to know what I did," Danny agreed, stroking through the slightly spiked hair.  "How was it?"

"Messy.  Then again, the family is referring this back to the Canadian Ministry since there's so many of us up there at the moment, and the new Vinese, who hates the family anyway.  Speaking of, did she release yours?"

"Nope.  I made an impassioned plea about what they had done and what they had forced me to do.  She agreed, they broke the covenant all the families signed.  She did move them to one of the cousin's houses and locked them there.  For them, there is no world outside their new gate."  He grinned.  "Want I should ask her for you?"

"No, we've already talked," he noted dryly.  "She asked why they were bringing it before her.  One of the cousins unwisely noted that the last one had been our family. Then she went off and I pointed out I had been part of the inquest to stop it.  Didn't help matters very much but the rest of the family hates me worse now."  He looked at Speed.  "How was your day?"

"Less loud than yours.  We had a guy die in one of those indoor jump training rings, the ones with the big fan?  He managed to commit suicide in one.  We were really impressed with the blood splatter."  They both laughed at that.  "He was also in the Army Reserve so Horatio got to talk to his CO.  He said he was on medical leave to get his meds straightened out."  He ate another cracker with cheese, holding the next bite out for Tony, who nibbled it from his fingers.  "We need to shed the day."

"I'm trying," Tony admitted. "I'm just so tired and worn out."

Danny sat up and shifted Tony so he could work on his shoulders, getting what they needed to do done.  Tony finally relaxed and was able to clear his mind.  Speed cleared his.  Danny cleared his.  They finished the dinner and then pulled their wands, feeling the magic gathering around them.  A car came by and they all waved at the old sheriff.  He had been a deputy the last time they'd been up there.

The older man got out and walked over.  "This is an odd spot for a picnic, boys."

"It's symbolic," Speed said, looking up at him.  "We celebrated the end of our school career here."  The man frowned at him.  "Yeah, I'm the older Speedle son."

"I heard you died."

"And then I got wished back."  He grinned.  "Fed case."

"Heard that happens now and then.  You guys know this land belongs to someone, right?  His family sold it years ago?"

"I've been out here since dusk and no one's come out," Danny offered.  "If they do, we'll gladly talk to them.  Tony's just lost his father and he needed the connections."

"Sure.  You boys don't do anything funny, okay?"

"Not our intention," Speed assured him.  "Thank you, Sheriff Dinwitty."

"You're welcome, Timmy."  He went back to his car and headed off again, going to find the boy's parents.  He wondered if they knew at all.

Speed looked at them.  "My parents are going to try to find us by midnight.  Did it have to be midnight?"  The other two nodded.  "Then they'll have to respect things."  He fed Tony another bite of dinner.  Then one to Danny, getting a grin and one back.  They heard another engine and sipped more of their wine.

"What are you doing?" someone shouted.

"Having dinner," Speed called back.  "Tony needed to have dinner, he just lost his family and this spot has good memories."  The car sped in the other direction.  "Huh, wondering if they were talking to us."

"Maybe, maybe not," Danny offered, grinning. "You didn't write your parents?"

"Nope.  They came down and sold the expensive stuff and left.  Why would I?"

"It's a good thing we raised ourselves," Tony noted impatiently. He got up and unbuttoned his shirt, then took off his shoes.  Back in his school years he hated wearing too many clothes.  A pair of natural or leather pants yes, clothes and shoes, no.  Not when he was off- hours.  Danny got up and pulled off everything but his t-shirt and jeans.  Speed did the same, stretching out on his back.  They all relaxed back into who they really were, calm, confident, collected, happy again.  Someone's watch beeped and Tony cast the blocking so no one else in the bond with them would hear.  A few minutes later, Speed's watch beeped.  He cast the first spell.  One to block others from hearing, seeing, or coming near them.  It'd protect them in case his parents or someone came out.

Danny's alarm went off and he stripped it off.  Everything but his dog tags.  Then he took a deep breath and pointed his wand at Tony.  He knew he had gotten him.  "Infinius," he cast, undoing the charm he had cast so many years ago.

Tony moaned and held his head.  He pulled his wand and cast it at Speed.  "Infinius."

Speed sucked in a breath, letting it all flow. They both got Danny, mentally together in what they had done.  "Infinius."  Danny leaned forward, grabbing his head to stop the pain.

They saw things go past.  Tony's casting an unforgivable at his father for removing the only love of his life for being too poor for him.  He was acting out of the rage he had at that time.  Speed, walking away from his family and showing up there at the wrong time, gathering Tony's shattered mind back together again and taking him off, promising they'd talk to her and if she could, she'd come back to him.  Danny being sent away and meeting them at their special garage, the one that used to hold their cars.  Them getting really drunk and deciding to dull the memories of what they had done.  How they had defended the school that one time.  How they had managed to torment half the student body into hating them.  How they had managed to screw up one incantation and nearly had the school eaten by a higher court demon.  They laughed at that one, it had been stupid and it had also been easily banished.  The headmistress had been so pissed with them!  Back and forth they shared, coming to a larger block.  One that had been imposed on them by that same woman.

Danny looked over and pulled something out of the basket, handing it to them.  They knew what would help them break it since the old biddy had interfered that way.  They took the small pill and relaxed, letting it work.  Then they cast the undoing charms, shattering the wall, letting those memories of studying and other things come out.  Danny nearly cried at the thug he had been.  Tony reached over to take his hand, reminding him they had changed.  Speed shifted and curled up with his head on Tony's lap, letting his own pain out.  The last block was there, then the one over all three of them that made this place the only way they could do this.  They shattered that other wall, getting back some very happy memories.  The first time she had tried it, it had only taken the naughtier and the happier times.  Not what she had planned, hence the second wall.  They laughed through most of it.  The touching, the cuddling, the dirty plans to get into the women's changing rooms.  All of it flashed past and filled their own seats in their minds, the holes gently sculpted and waiting for them.  Then the last veil was left.  They looked at each other, shared a kiss, and uncast it on each other.  Danny to Tony, Tony to Speed, Speed to Danny.  All of them moving it onto the rocks nearby.  It had been earth magic after all, it should go back.  Danny screamed as the last of the memories came back, angry as hell at his family for doing that to him.  Tony's as well.  Speed just sighed, resigned.  He had known what had happened.  Sort of.  He looked at the others, taking their hands to hold.

"We're still together.  We still have each other," he reminded them.  Danny shifted to lean his head on Speed's stomach and Tony petted them both once his hands were free.

"We're together.  We're stronger now," Tony agreed.  "Smarter and better than we were then."

"We were so young and stupid," Danny moaned.

Speed stroked his back. "Of course we were.  That's the reason for aging."  Danny grinned at him.  "We should go empty that last spot."

"We should," Tony agreed quietly.  "I could use the comfort."

Danny nodded. "I want what's left of my life back," he agreed.  He looked at them.  "What about the others?  How do we explain this to them?"

"Don knew it wasn't all pretty," Speed reminded him.  "Mac saw combat.  Stella might balk for a few days, but not that long."

Tony nodded.  "Horatio would understand.  He's got a few spots he didn't want to share when we initiated him," he pointed out with a slight grin at them.  "Is Gibbs in for a shock when I come in tomorrow."

"Funeral tomorrow," Speed reminded him.

"Ooh, yay."  Speed smiled and stroked his cheek.  "Danny, is it the same?" Tony asked a few minutes later.

"Nope."  He looked at him.  "The same as it wasn't with our ladies.  I feel for them what I did for mine."  Speed nodded at that.  "But it's not the same as us three."  Tony relaxed again.

"We still love you and you're ours," Speed agreed gently, holding Tony's hand.  Even though now Danny was the emotionally fragile one, Tony had been back then.  Losing what was his only love had locked that tightly inside him.  Speed let it come out safely, being there for him.  Danny too, over the bond that only the three of them shared.  They had done it back in their second year of school.  It had been a wild hair up Speed's ass due to a problem they were having in a few classes.  Basically they had used it that year for cheating.  Later on it had been soothing to them, holding them together over summer breaks and holidays that none of them wanted to be on.  They had kept Danny sane when his family tried to force him to go their way.  It had held Tony together long enough for Speed to get there when he lost his girlfriend due to his father sending her away and blocking her memories.  They basked in the connection.  It was truly and deeply love on their parts, but not the same way it had been.  Now it was what a marriage was like after twenty years, that same love but with the friendship.  Danny had people in his life to support him, and he did love them, just a slightly lesser love.  Speed loved his life, but again, a slightly lesser one.  Tony, well, he didn't, but he had them.

Tony looked at Speed. "If you asked, he might," he said quietly.

"We'd drive each other nuts."

"He's been there for you for decades now, Tim," Tony said wisely.

"He's straight.  He's proven that pretty well."

"You never know. He might not be as straight as you think.  He does watch out for you."  Speed nodded at that.  "Think about it?  You should be happy like Danny is.  Or maybe ask Ryan out as an intermediate step?"

Danny took Tony's hand.  "You know you're not alone.  You could always get into a semi- meaningful thing with McGee."

"Eww.  No thanks.  Too geekly for me.  I like our geekly natures, but not that much.  It'd be like dating Greg.  Now, I could almost see me dating someone like Alex."  He grinned at that.  "But Draco's in good health and probably going to stay that way."

"Tony, come home with me tonight?" Danny offered.

"I can't..."

Danny kissed him. "You can and you will.  At the very least you need a cuddle.  Speed will be too probably.  Not like he's got someone to go home to."

"Maybe."

"No, not maybe, come home with me," Danny ordered, grinning at him.  "Even Stella won't mind that."

"She's one scary woman," Speed agreed, stroking through Danny's hair.  "She definitely suits your ass, Danny."

"Thanks."  They snuggled for a bit more, going back to dinner, letting everything sink in.  A house elf appeared and held out something.  "What's that?" Danny asked.

"Mistress sends this," she said timidly, handing it to Speed.  She disappeared again.

Speed felt it, then checked it magically.  "It's got charms on it."  He put it off to the side and used his wand, staring at the venomous note that said they weren't supposed to have broken free.  He incinerated it before the spell could finish itself.  He did keep the pictures of them that had been inside.  They laughed.  "Look, Stephi in the rack."

"Hmm, and on the flogging stand," Danny agreed, holding that one up.

Tony ran a finger over one.   "Me there too.  Boy did I deserve that one."  He crumpled it up.  "We should destroy those.  It's not like that anymore."

"How do we know?  We're not there," Danny reminded him.  He uncrumpled it and tucked them into the basket, then he fed them lat bites before packing things up again.  They stood up.  Tony felt his jacket, it had been imbued with the magic so he left it there.  They headed back to Danny's place, finding it empty.  "Gee, they must be at Mac's tonight."

"I hope it's not a case," Speed agreed, turning on his phone. He smiled at the message texted to him right after they had cut the bond out.  "Horatio said to call him if I can come in tomorrow."

Tony looked at his.  "Gibbs has left three now saying that I'm in trouble if I'm hurt, injured, or more mentally unstable than I had been."

Danny looked at his.  "Huh.  Nothing yet."  They unblocked the bond and Danny checked.  They were asleep.  He shrugged.  "Bed?"  They nodded and headed that way once Danny had put the basket back into the big empty spot in the fridge.  They stripped down and crawled in, Tony's hands getting swatted for wandering to touch Speed's new hole.

"Not yours to play with."

"Aww, come on," he complained.  "Not like you're a virgin."

"You're the one who thought he might be knocked up," Speed shot back with a nasty grin.

"Yeah but what a night it had been," Danny agreed.  They all laughed and snuggled in, getting comfortable.  Danny let Tony hold him and Speed got his back.  It was comforting.  They even got a few hours of sleep before anything woke him.  He opened his eyes and looked over Tony's shoulder, seeing a dog's face.  "Don," he whispered, reaching a hand up to pet him.  Don sniffed his hand, then tipped his head to the side, nodding at them.  He grinned. "It's all good, Don. I promise.  Cuddle in.  Tony's always needed someone at his back."  Don changed and looked at him.  Danny pulled him down to kiss him.  "It's good."

"It's good," Don agreed, cuddling up against Tony's back, making him moan, shift, and relax back into his dreams again, mumbling about his former girlfriend.  Don took Danny's hand to hold, getting a smile.  "You sure?"

"It's great."  Don nodded and rested his head on Tony's shoulder when he shifted, getting comfortable with them.  Danny wasn't going to drop him for this love.  He knew that now.  The other two loved him just as much. They had proven it a few times to him now that he thought about it.  It was all good.

***

Stella snuck into their bedroom the next morning, finding Danny being used as a teddy bear and so fully asleep he wasn't waking up.  Speed did, he glared at her.  "I left my shoes," she said quietly.

"Done that before," he agreed, looking at the tangled mass of Danny, Tony, and Don.  "They're cute."

"He won't...."

Speed shook his head.  "No, he won't."

"Oh."  She sat on the end of the bed.  "Because we're not you?"

"Various strains on that theme," he admitted quietly.  "We had a bond back in our second year, Stella.  We're the only ones Danny lets cuddle."  She pointed at Don and he shrugged.  "We initiated him into the group in a way.  Plus, he loves Danny as much as Danny loves him and us.  There will never be a love as strong as between us for any of us.  But it's close with you three for him."

She nodded at that, watching them.  Don was starting to shift.  "He's going to wake up so I'm going back to Mac's.  We'll talk tonight?"  Speed nodded. "Thank you."

"We'll show you what we can, but a lot of it is intensely personal, Stella."

"We've all got things like that but remember not sharing enough is why marriages dissolve."

"Yeah, but in this case, it won't be dissolved.  He does love you guys.  The same as we all loved our girlfriends when we had them.  It was a great love, especially on Tony's part, but we're bound body, blood, and soul to each other.  Love is love."

"I'm guessing that's what triplets feel like when they don't share someone," Tony said quietly.  Stella blushed at that.  "C'mere."  She walked back over and he pulled her down, putting her against his back.  "There, that's your spot from now on."  She blushed harder, he could feel it against his back.  "We'll work the rest out tonight and Mac can have your back or Speed's back."  He looked down.  "When did Don get here?"

"Probably right after you guys got back," she admitted, stroking Don's hair.

He blinked and looked at her, then at the others.  Danny was still snoring.  He looked down and grinned. "Now he lets me cuddle."  She laughed at that.

"He will as long as at least one of us is in here with you guys," Speed assured him, stroking over his back.  Don shivered. "For now, just relax, Don.  Enjoy it.  Tonight's going to be a fight and I have a feeling Mac's going to pout."  Don and Stella got up and went to change, or put on shoes in her case, and headed off to talk to Mac and make him understand that they weren't breaking up, he was welcome, and if he argued, they were going to spank him in front of the entire lab.

Tony and Speed shared a grin.  Tony poked Danny until he got an unhappy grunt.  "Time to make the donuts, sleepy."

"Don't wanna go ta work," he complained into Tony's chest.  He sniffed.  "Don was here, right?"

"You two look so hot cuddled together," Speed whispered in his ear.  "All legs and arms and Don's like an octopus."  Danny nodded through his yawn.  "Get up.  We've got to head back too."  That got another yawn and they got up, going to clean up and head to their various work environments.

***

Horatio looked up as Speed walked in, coughing to get Ryan's attention.  Ryan went to pull Speed away from everyone and work to undo what he had done, finding it undone.  "How?"

"Danny," he offered with a slight grin.  "I'm sorry, Ryan."

"We're good," he decided.  "Never do it again and make your peace with Delko."

"I will be."  He kissed him on the forehead.  "Have a better day."  He walked off, finding Eric and Calleigh both in AV.  He looked at Eric and nudged him.  "I won't make you go play in the park with me anymore."

Eric frowned at him.  "What did you take?"

"I had a lot of sleep and woke up cuddled."

"Wow, if that's what getting laid does to you, I'll help you pick out presents so you keep her," Cooper offered.

"Shut up, Cooper," Speed said, glaring at him.   "It doesn't apply to you at this point in time."  He ducked down and nodded.  He looked at Calleigh and kissed her on the cheek.  "Hi. I'm not ignoring you."

"Who was she?"

"No female.  Danny, Don, Tony, and I were together last night and we got back to our roots.  It was calming. I got a full night's sleep and so did they."  He smiled at Horatio when he came in.  "Morning, H."

"Good morning, Speed.  How was whatever you three were doing?"

"Good.  Though I do have to ask some questions of you and a few present students.  Can we?"  Horatio nodded and walked him up to his office.  He put down the pictures and Horatio moaned.  "Was it the same in your time?"

"It was, but only for those who broke the boundaries into the red section of the library," he offered.  "I know you three did."

"We read almost every book in that library," he agreed.  "Including the black section of the restricted section.  Danny did that."

"No wonder he tested you when you came back.  By the way, your mother's pissed."

"Yay.  She came down to sell the expensive stuff, Horatio."

"I'll stand behind you, Speed.  No matter what.  You know that."  Speed nodded.  "Now what are you going to do?"

"I don't know," Speed admitted.  "Danny's got a few of his own.  Plus he's taking the afternoon off due to how his schedule was working today.  He's still tutoring some of the kids.  He's going to talk to them today off campus and we'll see."

"Who would you tell?" Horatio asked.

"The board over the school and then the British Ministry."

Horatio nodded.  "They could put pressure on her to step down."  He moved closer.  "Are you all right?"

"We were such shits," he said with a grin.  "We got into *everything*, Horatio.  If someone had an idea it could happen, we did it.  Gender, form, anything we could do we did.  We were bored, creative, overly brilliant, and we had wands."  Horatio smiled at that.  He put a hand on Horatio's forehead and cast the occulemncary charm, letting him see what he wanted him to.  Horatio pulled back and shook his head.  "Like I said, we were unholy little shits."

"You were," he agreed, grinning at him. "You were adorable though."

"Thank you.  We used it too."  He gathered up the pictures.  "We need to get these to someone."

"We do.  Did you need time off?"

Speed smiled and pulled out a letter and grabbed a manilla envelope from Horatio's drawer, writing a new name on it.  He slipped the letter and the pictures inside, then turned it into a portkey, sending it off with a paperclip as a rider. He dusted off his hands and put his wand away.  "Done."  He grinned at him.  "Now, where am I today?"

"Go work in Trace.  We haven't had a new call yet.  Are you all right?"

"I'm fine.  Danny fixed what Alex left after Tony wouldn't leave it alone."  He blushed and looked around then at him.  "Horatio, what happens if two of us in the lab start to date?"

"It depends on who it is and if they can work together professionally or not.  If I know I'm supposed to separate you two but if it's clear you can handle it I'll only watch for sudden breaks for sex. Who, if I can know?"

"Um, not yet," he admitted, shrugging some.  "Sorry. I've got to figure out how to tell them about the bond we three share that you guys can't hope to break into."  He moved closer.  "I don't know how. I botched it with Stella this morning, H."

"You'll manage it," he assured him, giving him a shoulder squeeze.  "It'll be fine.  Let me know if you need help."

"Yeah, I might. He's kinda, um, straight."

"You might be surprised."  He grinned.  "Eric?"  Speed gave him a look.  "You won't tell me?"

"Not yet.  Not until he's either hit me really hard and filed charges or we're together and he kinda understands the two bonds."

"What about Tony?"

"We're not sure if he'll ever find anyone after he lost his girlfriend.  For now, he's unhappy but going.  We're keeping him sane at the moment."

"If you need the help, let me know.  Even with him."

"He did suggest we change you into a girl and use you to go taunt their former director about being better for Gibbs then she had been."

"I didn't like it when I did it in my next-to-last year, Speed.  I don't want to wear heels again," he said quietly, making Speed looked shocked. "You weren't the only hellion."  He smirked and walked out.  "Come on, it's time to get back to work."

"Sure, H.  Got pictures?" he called as he walked behind him.

"No.  I made sure they weren't taken and the one person who mentioned it suddenly forgot," he said with a smirk.  He headed into his lab.

Speed smirked and went into his own.  He could hear Danny cackling in the back of his mind, giving him a gentle, loving nudge and reminding him to talk to Mac sometime today and Stella after she had some time to think.  Then he got down to work while he made plans.  Though, Tony did add in some support now and then.  Even if Gibbs was chewing him a new one for slacking off.

***

Danny followed Mac into his office and closed the door behind him.  "Before you say a word, we need to talk."

"We probably should," he agreed.  "I know you found out things that you didn't have access to before."  He sat down.  "I'm still thinking about how this could affect our relationship."

Danny clouded the windows, then smacked him like Gibbs got Tony earlier.  "Dumbass."  Mac opened his mouth.  "Shut up."  He stared into his eyes.  "Yeah, things are gonna change.  You being paranoid, it's not helping you or Stella.  Or even Don.  Try asking."

"She saw you cuddled," he said quietly.  "You're obviously more comfortable with them."

"When we were in our second year, we were having problems.  We were bored, too smart, and the classes were boring crap that we didn't have a clue about.  So we started to hang out in the library and Tony was looking at some books on power flows," he admitted.  "He found a book that had a way to go beyond thoughts, like occulmencary."  He swallowed and started to pace.  "All we were thinking about was that it'd help us in our weak subjects, give us a bit of cheating help on tests and homework."  Mac grimaced. "You can't

tell me you never cheated."

"I did on a choir final," he admitted.   "Seventh grade.  I got caught."

Danny smirked.  "Knew you couldn't be that goody-goody, Mac."  Mac glared again.  "Truth.  You weren't always this uptight."

"No, I wasn't.  The Marines mostly made me this way.  I used to be a punk little brat."  Danny grinned at that. "Not the point.  What did you three wander into?"

"Vechis's Theorems."

Mac stiffened.  "Do you know how dangerous that is?"

"Now," he admitted.  "Back then, we were best friends, strong, powerful, just waiting for our turn on the quidditch team."  He grinned.  "We were young, stupid, foolish, and knew we could do it.  Which is a big thing in magic now and then.  Down on the theoretical level."  He stopped in front of him again.  "It worked."

"Which joined you at the soul level," he said quietly.  Danny nodded.  "What about..."

"That's one form of love, Mac.  There's always been love for others within us.  Yeah, we three are tighter than triplets.  We're so tight that masturbating is like doin' either of them.  That's not what we've got.  Or the other bond.  There's room, it's just slightly less.  Our girls, they were our lives," he assured him, looking strained.  "They came to understand it.  You guys will too.  There's more than room enough, even if I do need a bigger bed now and then."  Mac blushed at that.  "No one said you had to touch 'em.  No one said you had to join in, but you're still wanted there."  He let the bond open fully between them and Mac groaned, nodding at that.  "We understood?"

"Understood."  He smiled.  "Now you have to have this talk with Stella."

Danny snorted and sent thoughts their way, making both of them stiffen on their crime scene and then smile at each other.

"He loves us anyway," Don said quietly.

"He does and it's great.  What about..."

He shrugged.  "I don't know.  I'm letting it lay.  If it happens and Ma becomes right, I'll hide it."  She giggled and swatted him on the arm.  "Now, we've got Monroe around here somewhere," he noted, winking at her.  She nodded.  "I take it as a suicide but I'm not sure and the patrol guys called so we answer."

"We do."  She sent back gentler feelings at Danny, making him smile, then some at Mac, making him relax.  They smiled and knew it'd be okay.  Even if Speed and Tony did take up one corner of the bed having fun with each other and wearing Danny out when they couldn't.

***

Tony walked into work the first morning after his grief leave, looking at his boss.  "Mind much if I drown the remaining members of my family?"

"No, but if I catch you, you'll join the last director in her cell."

"Don't threaten me with being raped by her," he said, looking disgusted.  He sat down.  "We're still going over the revamped will and everyone wants something.  Most of them don't know the number here or my cell."

"That's fine.  You can have desk duty if you need it."

"Are you trying to drive me further insane?" he complained.  He felt a calming touch and mentally sighed, but calmed himself.  "Do we have a case yet?"

Gibbs looked at him.  "You want to go pound the heavy bag for a few hours first?"

"No," he said simply, walking closer again.  "What are we working on?"

"Your temper."

"Besides that?"  Gibbs stood up, staring him down.  "Case?" he repeated.

"Elevator," Gibbs demanded.  He walked that way.

Tony rolled his eyes, heading that way.  They walked on and shut it down between floors.  "What?"

"Your temper is out of check."

"No, really?"  Danny appeared and gave him a hug, making him relax.  "I'm okay."

"You're not.  Your aunt is a bitch and if she calls back, hit ignore."  He looked at him.  "Got me?"  Tony smiled and nodded.  So Danny looked at Gibbs.  "He's got greedy relatives who were trying to say he killed his father for the will.  He's pointed out all the history and they've got it in court. Yeah, he's pissed.  You're a good target because you can fight back."  He glared at him.  "Leave him alone and give him something ta do!"  He disappeared.

"Sorry, we're a bit tighter now," Tony offered.  He leaned against the side of the elevator.  "I'm so tight with those two that we're like triplets.  We share our souls, Gibbs.  Yes, my relatives are driving me insane.  Yes, me being in drag for that undercover did kill him."  Gibbs grimaced.  "Yes, I can blame you for making me go through this shit because I had no intention of going back into those earrings."

"I didn't realize it'd cause such problems," he admitted.

Tony snorted.  "Gibbs, how would you like to be female suddenly?"

"Don't you dare."

"At least then you'd understand."

"I've been injured and unable to function."

"Not quite the same."  He pulled out something from his pocket, holding them out.  "Tonight, Gibbs.  That way this never happens again.  Hell, I had to look at my mother again thanks to this."  He restarted the elevator.  "Besides, I'm allowed to be angry.  I'm having to associate with the family again and now I've got to hand out shit."  He got off when the doors opened and went back to his desk, seeing someone standing there.  He blinked and glanced at McGee, who looked confused.  He looked at the ghost again, raising a brow. He headed back to the elevator, knowing she was following.  He pushed Gibbs back inside and stranded them again, making her laugh.

"Kate?" Gibbs asked, looking around.  She phased in.  "What's going on?"

"I came to help Tony."  She looked at him. "He deserved it and he deserved to die."

"No shit."  He shrugged.  "I'm good with him dying.  I'm not good with him making me his heir again.  Having to deal with my mother puts me in a bad mood."

"I realize that.  The last time you talked to her you nearly slapped Gibbs back."  Gibbs snorted, he remembered that day.  "So this time is more reasonable. He's had to talk to her a few times and will again a few more times.  The anger will know no bounds, Gibbs."  She looked at him.  "Still, Ziva looked scared you were going to hit him this time."

"With my aunt?"

"Well, yeah," she admitted.  Another wizard popped in.  "Huh.  Process server?"

"Canadian Ministry, Law Enforcement office."

"Welcome to NCIS," Tony said dryly.

"There have been numerous complaints from your family about how your father died, Mr. DiNozzo."

"Ask my boss, he's behind you."  He looked at Kate again.  "See?"

"It's reasonable.  By the way, I looked ahead.  There's one and you know them."  She smiled.  Then she smacked him on the head.  "You're sulking."  The agent squeaked and looked at him.

Tony looked at him.  "The last time he popped in unannounced we were teenagers and trying them out.  He had a heart attack then too."  He shrugged.  "Not like I want the stress of dealing with my family.  I'd like to put them in a sinking boat in the ocean without their wands.  I hate dealing with my mother."

"Then appoint someone."

"Everyone I know and trust would put them on the boat in handcuffs, take their wands, and then help me sink the boat."  Kate giggled at that.  "They would."

"They would," she agreed.  "Especially Speed."  She stroked his cheek.  "Just give it a few more years, Tony.  You'll find someone and you'll be a bit shocked.  You'll love them fully."

"Him, her?"

"Her.  Though I didn't see any little DiNozzo's."

"Good, can you see me with kids?"

"They'd be little Danny's and Speed's," she agreed, grinning at him.  "The same as there'll be a little Messer some decade but not a soon one and it'll be from an accident."

"Spell related?" he asked.

She grinned.  "Can't go there yet.  Hey, boss.  Can you get him straightened out?"  Gibbs reached over and smacked Tony on the head.  "Wrong one, boss."  He smacked the other guy, shaking him out of his thoughts.  "Are you done?" she asked patiently.  He nodded and blushed, then left.  "They're usually very polite."  She looked at them again.  "I do agree, appoint someone.  Someone maybe like Horatio?"

"You know, that might be a match for the ages....."  He suddenly smirked. "How about the boss, Kate?"

"That would give him something to do other than the boat and Gringotts knows him."

"They'd be mortally offended because he's a muggle."  Speed appeared and looked at her.  "Then again, it might be enough to drive them off and make them run off a cliff like a bunch of lemmings."  She giggled at that.  He looked at Tony. "I like the sinking boat idea.  Know anyone who'd want the insurance from that?"

"Sadly enough, I do," he admitted tiredly, shaking his head.  The agent came back.  "Again?"

"Um, well, they've decided now that you're unnatural and should have your wand snapped."

"It was our way to sneak into the girl's changing rooms," Speed complained.  "Take us back with you," he said, talking down to him.

"You are?"

"One of his mates.  Now," he snarled.  He waved at Gibbs.  "If H calls, I'll be back after I kick some of his relatives' asses."  They disappeared, going with him.  Up the stairs, into the Law Enforcement office.  Speed looked at the gathered relatives.  "We were thirteen when we made them.  They were used to sneak into the locker rooms," he announced.  "Then Gibbs found out and he needed someone to stop a rapist.  Yes, he used and abused Tony horribly.  That's what he does."  He looked at the other office.  "You needed more than that?"

"No.  We did wonder what had happened?"

"The last time he saw me in it, when we were sneaking out of the girls' locker room, he had one then too.  He knew after that not to pop by unannounced and yet he did it again.  He has bad timing.  By the way, I don't care about any of my relatives.  I hate you all.  You all suck," he said, repeating it in Italian.  "None of you stood up for me when he sent my pureblood girlfriend away for being poorer.  You don't deserve shit."  He repeated that as well, weathering the horrified looks.  "Thanks to him, I've never married, I intend to never marry, there will be no heirs, and the house will be burnt as soon as I get back there.  Are there any other questions about why I could care less about what you wanted from the estate?"  Everyone just stared and one aunt started to sniffle.  "Good.  Glad we're in agreement on something finally.  Because you brought this on yourselves."

"Tony, dear," his mother started.

He pulled his wand and looked at her. "You fucking well clapped, and again when I cursed him."  She gave him a horrified look.  "Yes, mom, I remember now.  Good thing, huh?"  She hiccuped and backed away further. "You know what?  You want the house.  Have the house.  I'm taking the farm and those assets.  I'll take half the money.  You fight with everyone else because I could care less.  Just never come near me again," he said coldly.  She nodded, still looking scared.  "You can deal with all the greed and all that."

"If you wish.  Now, about heirs?"

"Never happen unless I personally get pregnant."  He heard Kate giggle.  "And while there's a spell, it won't be anytime soon.  I really don't like being female for some reason."  He looked at her and said something in Arabic, making her turn white.  "Good.  I'm glad we're in agreement."  He looked at the agents.  "Anything else?  Dealing with this is giving me a migraine and I've had enough."

"No," he said, shrugging.  "Sounds relatively fair to me, Mr. DiNozzo."

"Thank you.  Speed?"

"Coming."  He kissed Tony's hand, making the aunts all wail.  Then he smirked at them.  "Sorry, I'm a bad candidate for the spell, so unless you can convince him, there's no heirs coming."  He looked at Tony's mother.  "Hi.  Again."

"Timothy," she said, swallowing.  "Where's Daniel?"

Speed concentrated then looked at her.  "With one of his three lovers.  He's at work somewhere."  She blushed at that.  "Hey, he needed it and he still wears them out.  Good thing we remember everything, huh?"  She let out a small nervous laugh.  He moved closer.  "There was discussion about a boat, wandless magic, and the middle of the ocean," he shared.  "Especially for you."  She nodded at that.  "Good.  I'm busy.  Unfortunately I'm going to be called out for a case soon."

"What do you do?" one of the agents asked.

"Tony's on an NCIS team.  I'm a CSI in Miami.  Danny's one in New York," he said proudly.  Tony's mother sighed and nodded at that.  "We stop people who hurt others.  I'd be very proud of your son.  For once."  He walked Tony off, taking him back to work.  He presented him to Gibbs.  "He gave her half and made her look nauseous.  It should be done now unless his mother shows up.   You'll know her.  She'll be wearing Dior.  She'll have Tony's hair only shoulder length, she'll have his eyes, and a sneer that would've done Draco's mommy proud."

"I'll watch out for her.  Thank you."

"Welcome."  He looked at Tony.  "You'll be okay?"

"I'll be fine. I heard H call.  Go."  Speed winked and headed off, disappearing from the elevator.

Tony sat behind his des.  "So, cases, boss?" he asked, sounding much more reasonable.

"You still have grief time."

"She'll try to ambush me at home."

"Fine.  Sit there, do paperwork.  Just stay calm."  Tony nodded and got back to work.

McGee looked over.  "Tony, I'm sorry to hear about your father, even if you weren't close.  You could hold an Irish wake for him," he offered.

Tony grinned.  "That's an idea, McGee.  I'll think about it."  He winked at him. "I'm fine.  I got to yell at them and Speed helped me prove why there wouldn't be an heir."  He grinned and got back to work.

Gibbs smirked at him.  "This evil you is a lot more fun than the teenage you," he noted dryly.  He sent him a name.  "Do a background on them."

"Sure.  New agent?"  Gibbs nodded.  "Okay."  He got to work, pulling up everything and collating it prettily.

***

Danny walked into the house later that night, smiling and taking kisses.  "Evening, family.  We good?"

"We're fine," Stella assured him, pulling him into her lap.  "So, about this other bond?"

He smiled at her.  "Way back when, when we were second years, we were bored and struggling in classes with things that made no difference and had no reason to exist in our lives.  So we found something and we tried it, and it worked."  He smiled as Alex appeared.  "Hi."

"Hi."  He kissed him on the forehead, looking at him.  "Dagger?"  Danny pointed in the bedroom.  "Why?"

"Because it nearly got stolen at work and I forgot it this morning," he admitted.

"As long as you keep remembering it, adopted son of mine."  He gave him a look.  Then he grinned.  "I felt and there's still a small one."

"Yeah, but we wanted that one."

"Works for me."  He patted him on the head.  "You look so cute!  Does she get to use the strap-on I sent her often?"

"Not really."  He looked at her. "He sent you sex toys?"  She nodded. "Why?"

"Draco made him clean out the toy chest again that was down on the catacombs."  She shrugged.  "Apparently he had a few years where he found sex toys everywhere."

"No, only two jobs," he admitted modestly, grinning at her.  "Speaking of.  Donald?"  Don groaned.  "Next weekend off?"

"This one?  Can't I have sex?"

"No.  You can't have sex. You can come pick out pretty presents and help me get stuff ready to auction off."

"Yes, sir."  He pouted. "I wanted sex."

"You can have sex, bring one who's also off."  He shrugged and disappeared.

Don looked at them.  "Pretty things, statues?  Books?"

"Books," Danny said.

"Stella?"

"Something pretty?"

"Sure.  Mac?"

"I don't need presents."

Don kissed him and he went limp.  "Give me an idea or I'm bringing home more sex toys to show you what a toy you are," he warned.

"Something, anything, Don.  I don't need presents."

"He's giving them away.  I'll scavenge you something non-cursed."  He went back into the kitchen. "I ordered pizza."

"I love you," Danny offered.   "Now, we've got to talk about the other stuff, huh?"

"I can see them curled up on their corner of the bed, together," Stella offered, licking her lips.

Mac gave her a look.  "You've been in smut heaven all day, Stella.  Why?"

"Oh, Horatio's had a porn case and he's been broadcasting a bit."  She grinned.  "It's been great fun.  Even Ray Jr.'s gotten a peek and been smuty it was so good."

All the men shook their heads.  You just had to humor Stella in these moods.

Tony showed up and looked at her, then kissed her, grinning.  "Now you know how I feel all day every day."  She giggled and swatted him.  "So, Speed's working up his nerve to ask someone out tonight.  We should eavesdrop."

"No we shouldn't.  It's hard to ask someone out, especially if you think they're straight," Don countered.  "Leave the poor guy alone."  He grinned and snuck his own kiss.  "No fair kissing Stella when I don't get any belly scratches."

Tony stood up and looked him over, then carefully took his food away and put it on the table. "Change.  I'm good at belly scratches and ear pets."  Don changed to his dog form and let Tony sit down and pet him for a while.

Danny and Mac shared a grin.  Then they pulled Stella up and went to tease her mercilessly in the bedroom.

Tony smiled at Don.  "You'll get yours later.  Danny is a motor.  Unless he runs out of gas, or in his case his boundless lake of energy, he'll keep going and going and going.  I've had whole weekends with Danny buried in my ass."  The puppy growled. "Jealous?"  The dog shook his head. "Uh-huh," he teased, going back to petting him.  Don groaned and spread our further for his long fingers and short nails to scratch his soft furry bits.  "Good boy, Don.  You're such a good dog."  He leaned down.  "Ever sniff skirts?" he whispered.  Don gave him a doggy grin and a lap up the nose.  "Cool.  I have too as a cat.  Everyone likes a lap cat, especially women."  He went back to petting him.  Speed appeared and he looked over.  "Not go well?" he asked, seeing the black eye coming in.

"Not at the moment.  We'll see how it turns out in a few days.  After all, the first time I kissed Danny I got punched too."  Horatio appeared and looked at him. "What?" he defended.

"What did you do to Ryan?"

"I asked him if he wanted to go out to dinner."

"Hmm.  Home, now, Tim."

"But..."

"Now, Tim.  Before I spank you.  And I do mean my home."  Speed looked confused.  "Now."  He shivered but did disappear.  Then he rolled his eyes.  "Those two would drive each other nuts.  The same as Eric's too straight for him."  He headed home, going to tell Speed how it was going to be from now on. Especially since he had heard Stella snickering over the porn in his head all day. He found Tim in the kitchen and walked in there, taking the glass from him and hauling him upstairs.  "Mine."

"Um, last I knew you were straight."

"Yeah, right," he said dryly, pushing him onto the bed, smirking at him.  "We'll fix that misconception as well, Tim."

"Um, Horatio, spell?"

"No, Timothy."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Timothy."  He laid down next to him.  "By the way, nice move with Tony's family," he whispered in his ear.  "You had better not get pregnant from him."  Speed gave him a horrified look. "Good. Cuddling and some limited sex I can handle.  *That* would make me prove you both were mine.  Which might be fun depending on how kinky Tony is."  He took a kiss, making Speed go limp underneath him.  "Now, isn't that better?"

Speed nodded.  "Yeah, so far."  Horatio smiled and dove in again.  It was ...pretty damn good for a first time and it having been so long for both of them.

Afterward, Horatio let Speed cuddle. "I told Ryan you were thinking about him that way but he had competition. He ceded the highway already."

"Well, you do always drive the hummer," he teased.

"Yes, I do."  He stroked his mate's stomach.  "I like this.  We'll have to spend more time cuddling."

"Right after you paint the boring walls, Horatio."

Horatio found his wand and flicked it at them.  "Finite Incantantum."  The white faded and left very pleasing walls.  "Better?"

"Much.  When did you do that?"

"A few years back," he offered modestly.  "Everyone would be shocked if they came in and found the house actually decorated."  He heard the bell.  "Speaking of shocked."  He got up and went down there, finding it being Eric.  "Eric.  Is there a problem?"

"You took what's mine," he said dryly, walking inside and looking around.  "Finally!  We were hoping you'd finally decorate!  Man, white does not suit you."  He walked up the stairs and grabbed Speed.  "Come on, let's go."

"Eric," he protested, pulling back. "What are you doing?  Is this some sort of lust spell?  Revenge for the times I made you a dog?"

"No, but I don't mind being a dog for you.  You played with me all the time. It was nice."  He grinned. "Now, come on.  You can't stay with the boyfriend napper."

"You're straight."

Eric giggled.  "You're so damn clueless.  Come on.  Now, Speed."

"But..."

"Eric," Horatio warned from the doorway. "It appears he wants to stay."

"Then you're getting both of us."

Horatio considered it.  "Actually, with their bond, you'd be getting the quad in New York and Tony as well."

"Hey, I'd finally get worn out," he said happily, sliding into bed and holding Speed.  He noticed Horatio's look and rubbed a bit against Speed's sheet-covered butt.  "Look how he's staring.  We must be pretty."

"I'm handsome."

"You are," Eric agreed. "So am I.  But together we're pretty enough to make that one beg."  Speed swallowed. "Awww, aren't you the kinky sort?" he teased.

"No, that's Danny and Tony, our love sluts."

Eric giggled.  "Now you've got another of those.  Just think of all we can do," he whispered, still rocking against him.  Horatio was looking very interested.  "Watch him, Speed.  Watch how he looks at us."

"Eric, you still...."  He was cut off by a kiss.

"You have no idea what I do some days, even when you're there, Speed.  So shut up."  He kissed him again and it was even better.  He looked up at Horatio.  "Are we better than the walls?"

"Much prettier than the walls.  Much nicer than the porn case I had today."  Eric beamed at that and Speed blushed. "I had Stella all day looking at it with me and snarking at it."  He moved closer.  "Eric, you know very well I don't share."

"Who said anything about sharing?  He's mine.  If you want him, you're both mine."

"I think you'll find it's the other way around, Eric," he warned, but he was smiling.  Someone knocked.

"If that's someone else coming to take me, I know it's a spell," Speed said dryly, getting up and taking the sheet with him.  Hoping maybe he can escape the lust upstairs.  He found a young woman he didn't know on the doorstep. "Yes?"

"Would you like one of our Watchtower magazines, sir?"

"No, honey, I was about to go down on my boyfriend.  Sorry."  He shut the door in her shocked face and looked around. All his clothes were upstairs.  He listened, then he summoned his wand and headed home, nearly running over their house elf.  "Hey, Taps."  He patted him on the head.  "Dinner?"

"Dinner is not being ready for another hour, Mater Speed sir.  Taps is working very hard on the books.  They is not being in order."  He swatted him.  "You smell like house elf cuddle pile.  Go bathe!"

"I know.  Horatio pounced."  He headed that way.  Then he came back.  "If anyone comes, I'm not home."  He went back to the shower, going to clean up and think. So at the end of his shower, he put in the plug and some bubbles, sitting down as they grew around him. He inhaled, it was a nice scent. A very nice scent.  Taps peeked in and he gave him a happy, content look. "Taps, can I have a drink?"

"There is a muggle here wanting you, sir."

"Do we know them?"

"No Master Speed sir.  He is being very strange."

"Ask him his name."  Taps nodded and went to do that, then came back.  "Who?"

"He is being purple and says he's Master Gibbs?"

"Gibbs, that you?"

"Yes, and for some reason I'm purple."

"How did you get to Miami?"

"McGee."  He walked into the door of the bathroom and sure enough he had purple skin.  "Can we fix this since he can't?"

"Depends on how it was done."  He pulled his wand over and cast a checking charm, then giggled.  "It was done the mundane way but there's a really good cleaner in the cabinet, blue and green swirled bottle I think."  He walked in to get it, holding it up. "Yeah, that.  Works to get dye pack stuff off too."

"Thanks.  Any hope it'll be gone by the morning?"

"Yeah, a few washes should do it.  Use the sink."

"What are you doing home?"

"Well, I asked one guy out because I decided I liked him.  He punched me.  Then I went to pout at Danny and them.  Horatio showed up and kidnaped me. I'm starting to think there's a lust spell on me or something."  He frowned.  "After Horatio and I made love, Eric showed up and tried to take me from him and said if Horatio wouldn't give me up to him, he'd have to take both of us."

Gibbs smiled while he scrubbed.  "Interesting.  You good with that?"

"I don't mind.  I mean, they're both kinda straight."

"Doesn't sound like it to me."

"Yeah but it's just odd.  I mean, Ryan punches me and then.....  Oh, damn.  He's taking revenge."

"Or he might genuinely like you, kid."  He gave him a look.  "You can never tell with guys like Horatio.  They hide their emotions too well. Nice bubble bath."

"It's comforting and my favorite scent."  He slid down further and played with some bubbles.  "Scrub in a circular motion, it's better for the skin."

"Sure."  He did that and more of the dye came off. "Can you ask my chuclehead if it was him?"

"Already did, he said it was Ziva."

"She'll be getting hers tomorrow then."  He rinsed his face off and looked.  "That's wonderful."  He took mental note of the name, then looked at himself.  "Can you scrub off wrinkles?"

"It removed all the gunk making them more distinct and weighing your skin down."

"Even better.  Hard to find?"

"Found it online."

"I'll have to look."  He looked at it again then walked off. "Thanks."

"Welcome.  Taps, can you take him home?"

"Of course, Master Speed sir."  He looked at him. "Home?"

"How about we go visit Horatio's for a second," he said quietly.  The house elf checked dinner then nodded and took him with him.  He landed in Horatio's living room, looking around.  "This is much better than my place."  Horatio and Eric both came down the stairs.  "You two confused him.  He thinks Ryan's getting revenge on him for asking him out."

"He'd better not," Eric complained.

"Well, he does."

"Not him, Wolfe."  He looked at Horatio.  "Can you get us in there?"

"Taps, what were you fixing for dinner tonight?"

"Macaroni and sauce."

"Good.  Excellent. Anything with meat?"  He shook his head, his ears flapping. "Even better.  We'll be right there.  Do not tell your master."

"Him is being saying he's not home."

"I know he did.  We'll work on that later.  Okay?"  He smiled and the house elf nodded, taking Jethro home and then going back to his cooking.  Horatio looked at Eric, then at the kitchen.  "Let me."

"Can I take lessons?"

"Only if you decide to use it, Eric."

"Is it hard?" he asked as he followed him.  "Can I try your wand?"  Horatio got the steaks defrosting magically and handed it over.  "Okay, what do I do?"

Horatio pulled him closer, adjusting his grip.  "Point it at the candle and say enflame."

"Enflame," he said, lighting it up.  "Whoa."  He walked over, it was real enough to burn his hand.  He found another one and tried it again.  "Enflame."  This one went higher. He blew it out and came back to blow out the other one.  "Wow."

"Very.  Maybe you and your sister should've gotten letters."

"If we did, Poppi would've gotten mad," he pointed out.  He handed back the wand.  "Does this mean you guys can teach me?"

"We can."  He took a kiss and cooked the stakes with his wand, then winked at him and pointed.  "Get a bottle of wine. Speed appreciates good food."  Eric found one he liked and they went together, Horatio finding one of Speed's plates for the steak. "May I?" he asked, taking the wine.  Eric gave him a look.  "Just for a few minutes."  That got a nod and Eric suddenly changed down to Taps, who squeaked.  Horatio smiled at him.  "It's necessary for a moment."  He handed over the plate.  "Go tempt him out of the tub."

Eric walked that way, leaning in.  "Should Taps set steak on table or in here?" he asked.

"I feel magic and your house elf stinks, Ryan."

Eric was changed back but he managed to keep hold of the steak. "If I were it'd be different.  Did you know I can use H's wand?"  Speed gave him a look. "I did. I lit candles."  A few floated in and he took Speed's wand to light them.  "enflame."  Speed blinked at them, leaning over to test one, then having to lick his fingers.  "See," he said proudly. "Now, steak in here?"

"Um, sure.  How did you do that as the house elf?"

"How do you think?" he asked dryly, sitting beside the tub.  He sniffed. "I remember that scent on you a few times."  He cut a piece of steak and fed it to him.  "Sore?"

"Wanted to think."

"That's kind of understandable after the day you've had."  He fed him another bite.  "It's not Ryan's fault.  H made sure of it."  He took a kiss with a smile.  Then he fed him another bite.  "After you eat, we'll talk and then we'll have another round of sex.  Maybe even in your favorite bubbles."  Speed just blinked at that and at Eric's grin.  "It's a fun thing.  Bubbles make you slippery."

Speed let Eric stuff his mouth again before he made another comment.

***

Speed walked up to Ryan the next day.  "I'm sorry.  I don't want things to be awkward so if you want, just forget I said anything," he offered, but he was still smiling just a bit.  "Actually, with the night I had last night, I wasn't sure if it was a curse or not.  So if it was, thank you.  And if not, forget I said anything, okay?"  He did grin this time.

"What happened?"

"Well, someone heard you and then came to kidnap me.  And then the other one decided he was jealous so he got between us and tried to take me for himself.  Then ended up saying if the first one wanted me, he'd have to have both of us.  So, yeah, if that was a curse, you can be my best man."  He clapped him on the back and walked off.

"You're not going to tell me who?"

Speed turned and looked at him.  "Probably not a good idea.  Thanks, Ryan."

"Um, yeah, welcome," he agreed, nodding at that.  He was confused now.  Eric walked past him, looking like he had gotten laid last night.  "Morning."

"Yes, it is."  He grinned.  "It's a pretty good morning actually."  He kept going.

Ryan sniffed the air, then frowned at him.  Then he shook his head.  Couldn't be.  Eric was totally straight and a player.  He turned and found Horatio standing there.   "Boss, sneaking up on me is bad."

"Sorry, Mr. Wolfe.  Is there something wrong?"

"No, Speed just thanked me for turning him down," he said quietly.  "I'm guessing he's happy.  And Eric looked really happy."  He wasn't going to say it but Horatio looked very smug as well.  Speed had said two....  No, they were both very straight. He knew they were, he had seen them out with women and Eric getting some in the clubs in the past.

Horatio moved closer.  "What you saw and what fully happens can be mistaken," he noted quietly.

Ryan gaped then slapped himself hard.  "Okay then.  Not that I needed to know.  I'm happy if you are and it wasn't a curse."  He walked off, mentally slapping himself and making sure his magic hadn't slipped.  If it had, it was being nice.  Usually he'd have cursed Speed to genital herpes or something.

***

The quad looked up as Speed and Tony appeared, with Horatio and Eric behind him.  "Hey," Danny said happily.  "It worked out okay?"

"Did you do a lust spell?"  They all shook their heads.   "Are you sure?"

"Was he always this insecure?" Eric demanded.  Tony nodded.  "Oh."  He looked at Speed then kissed him until he moaned. "That's not a spell, Speed.  Get over it before I make you our bed toy again tonight."  Speed just blinked.  He grinned.  "But we're here on business."  He plucked Don's wand out of his back pocket and pointed it at the nearest plate of cookies.  "Wingardium leviosa."  He floated it up and around then back onto the table.  He tossed back the wand.  Then he looked at Danny. "Can we figure this out?"

"Sure, but I'm due to watch the headmistress be arrested."

"Why?"  Speed showed him a picture.  "Is that Tony being flogged?"

"It's her way of correcting the creative and bored students who get into things.  We have pictures of Don's sister too."  Don nodded.  "So we're waiting for her to be arrested.  Being here means they can't try to attack us for it."

"Sure," Eric agreed.  "Can I help?"

"Sure," Danny agreed, standing up and walking him into the bedroom. He got his spare wand and gave it to him.  "Come on, let's practice."  Eric nodded and followed him back out.  "Let's start with the basics."  He paused when he saw the banshee.  "Didn't we break that?"

"Yeah, it's from her," Tony sighed.  "She knew about it.  Remember, we had to make special plans that one year."  Danny nodded at it.  "One, two, three..."  They all cast the banishing charm on it.  It left and Tony put his wand back up.  "Okay, let's get Eric ready.  After all, we've done a good job with the other two, even if one of them is kind of lazy," he said, looking at Don.

"Sorry!  Remember, I work all day too."

"It's all right, we know," Stella assured him, smiling at him. "It's okay.  I have to do the same with the hours we work."  Mac gave her a look. "I have."

"I think it's time we all practice," Mac noted.  They all got down to work with Eric and the other two newbies.  Especially since Don was starting to stick to things again.  Danny finally had enough of him leaking magic and took him into the bathroom to ...cure that for him.  He came out once Don was back in bed and went back to working with Eric. It was going to be a fun day.  After they set ground rules on who got to play with who.  Because they all knew about Eric and his habits.

Summoning

NC-17

Tony looked up when Gibbs came down out of MTAC, giving him a look because he looked pissed.  He knew that look.  That was the 'there's an idiot in charge' look.  "New director yet, boss?"

"No, idiots in charge," he admitted.  "They're not listening to their tacticians and one did something wrong.  Somehow we got asked to figure out how he did it."  He looked at Tony.  "Apparently he created a pair of earrings."  Tony burst out giggling.  "It's not funny."

"But it is, boss.  Especially if he's in a culture that represses women.  He's just lost all his power, destabilized his command structure, and that's only if he can prove he's himself.  If not, they're going to think he's a girl he picked up.  He'll know exactly what his rules are doing to others."  Gibbs did crack a smirk at that.  "It's like divine retribution."

"Fine.  He's not one of you that he admitted to.  Somehow they decided we were better suited to this investigation."

"Abby."

"Hopefully.  Get the case files from her.  Go over it, see what he did.  They're demanding it be undone."

"You know, boss, some of the warlords over in Afghanistan...  It's a mean thought but it might help with some of the renewed problems.  Mac knows some guys...."

"I'll talk with him later.  Go get the file from Abby.   Find McGee and David while you're at it."

"Same place, boss."  He got up and went down there, smiling when Abby smiled and waved at him.   "You have our new case."

"I do?"  She turned and got into her system, finding it.  "I do!  Oooooh, he took one of the most militant and anti-women's rights guys and gave him a sex change.  That's mean.  But probably effective."

"In more ways than one.  We're to figure out how he did it, kids."

She looked at the dossier.  "Well, do we recognize their schooling?"

Tony looked then shook his head.  "Nope.  He didn't list it.  We'll see.  Come on, you two, Gibbs said so.  This is our new case."

"I've have had the surgery done then dropped him in a different area," Ziva offered.  "That way he couldn't convince his people of being himself."

McGee looked at her.  "It won't matter, they're culturally programmed not to listen to women in charge."  He took the file from Abby, making her smile.  "Thanks."

"Welcome and that's a really good idea.  We should have a whole unit of guys like Tony and Harry who go do that to human rights violators because they usually start with women."

"Abby, are you feeling all right?" Tony asked, feeling her forehead.  She shooed him off with a frown and he shrugged, walking off with McGee.  "PMS?" he asked once they were safely in the elevator.

"I'm not sure, but I think Harry's somewhere in Bulgaria at the moment for a game."  That just got a nod.  They got off on their floor and gave Gibbs the file.  "Abby said she wants a whole unit of people who can do that to go get all the human rights violators, boss."

Gibbs looked alarmed at that.  "Is she feeling all right?  Abby's not usually that vicious."

"We're not sure," Tony admitted.  "I thought maybe extreme PMS.  McGee thinks her boyfriend's in Bulgaria for some reason."  They shared a look.  Abby was never like that.  "It's not even a high violence area at the moment so I'm not sure why she'd be worried."

"Love makes you do odd things," McGee offered.

"Yeah, like get married," Gibbs said dryly.  "Anything yet?"

"He didn't list a school that I know about," Tony offered.  "Could mean he's like Ryan."  He shrugged.  "Easiest way is talking to him, boss."

"We can do that.  He's on his way back. They consider that a cruel and torturous idea."

"That's because our people don't like women in charge either," Tony noted dryly.  Gibbs looked at him.  "They don't."

"They don't," Gibbs agreed.  "Still not polite to say."

"Yay me."  He shrugged and got to work on the guy's background, finding the unraveling spot.  "He's like Ryan.  What he's carrying as his kit?  He's like Ryan."  He had a sudden idea.  "Which means she might even be fertile, boss."

"That's an even worse idea, DiNozzo."

"Sorry, boss, but it's giving me the warm fuzzies."

"Is whatever's wrong with Abby spreading?" McGee asked the boss.  "If so, and I turn homicidal, please stop me from hurting anyone, boss."

"I will.  I'll stop them too."  He looked at Tony.  "I could always reconsider my answer about that bond thingy," he said quietly.

Tony cackled at that.  "You can, boss, but then you'd have us in your head day and night for the rest of your life.  Including me, Speed, and Danny."

"Okay, that's a good reason to withdraw the threat.  Get back to work."  They got back to finding out what they could about this person and who they had done it to.  He was drawing serious parallels to what he had made DiNozzo do for that rape case.  He looked over when Tony suddenly burst out laughing and ran for the stairs to cackle in private.  He got up to look at his computer.  Nothing new there so he went to check on him, finding him rolling around on a landing with a security guard watching in amusement.  "I've got it."  That got a nod and he headed off.  Gibbs leaned down and smacked Tony on the head "What?"

"Don," he panted, gasping for breath.  "Cult member, slipped in front of them."  He burst out in more giggles.  "He was doing the changing spell today."

Gibbs shook his head then smacked Tony. "Up and back to work, DiNozzo."  He went back to his desk but he was mentally laughing.  If Don had slipped in front of his very rabid all-male cult, they probably weren't happy with him.  He called Mac.  "Is your boy all right?  Cackling madly, yeah."  He hung up and shook his head.  "He's fine," he said when Tony came back.

"I'm sure he is."  He flopped down and got back to work, shaking his head.

***

Don looked down at himself.  "Okay, how did we do this?"

Danny looked at him, then at Stella.  "Well?  I know it wasn't me."

"I felt a deflection and change."

"Uh-huh," Don said dryly. "I want my damn penis back."  He knew they hadn't stuck the spell so he and Danny got it undone, becoming himself again.  "Ah, better," he said happily, smiling at his guys.  "Sorry.  Let's find out how it got sent back, okay?"  They tested the people who had applied for a sex change, finding one had natural shields.  "Your mommy like us?"

"No," she said quietly.  "Did I do that?" she asked hesitantly.  He nodded.  "I'm sorry, Father," she sobbed, hugging his legs.  "I didn't know.  It keeps happening."

"We can fix that maybe," Danny promised.  "Just not as part of the mass spell.  No shields."  He withdrew another one that had shields.  "Better.  Move closer together. Let's try this again with you two across the room."  They were walked off.  "They're fine, someone put shields on them."  They cast the gender switch charm and they all changed, moaning.  "Now, are we *sure*?" Danny asked again.  "If I stick this on you, you can't get it changed back, ever.  Maybe not even surgically."  They all nodded and he stuck the charm, then Don finished locking it into them while Stella held their bodies in a semi-static state so it would accept the change and not fight it.  The last one was locked in and she was released.  They all sent up a prayer and Don patted all the new men.

"It's all good now," Don promised.  "Try things out tonight and all that.  Send word to us if it isn't fully stuck."  That got some nods and they filed out with the others.  A few of the others were whispering about punishments.  "I'm not like that," Don called after them.  He looked at the other two.  "Okay.  What sort of shields are on you?"  He looked.  One was a fear reaction shield.  He looked at her.  "Yours was done by you.   It's a reaction to your fear."  She hung her head.  "Hey, that just means you're unsure.  I can still do the spell later," he promised, giving her a hug.  She nodded, relaxing against him.  "I promise, if I have magic and you decide you fully want it, you can come to me."  She looked up and smiled, then walked off, going back to her room to contemplate and pray for clearness of thought.

Danny looked at the other one.  "Your mother guarded you.  It's female energy.  Did you talk to her about this?"

"She protested strongly," she admitted.  "I had no idea she knew how to do this sort of thing, Protector."

"Hey, it's all good.  Wandless witches can hide themselves really well.  We can't do it until you have her take it off."  One of the out-of-town higher ones came back in.  "They're both okay.  One had a doubt, this one's got a mother who wants to keep a daughter instead of a son.  I think she should talk more with her mother."  She nodded.  "Find out her reasons.  Remember, you can always talk to us and the others."  She nodded and hugged them all before going back to her borrowed room.

"When they want it and the doubts are both solved, we can help them then," Don promised.

The higher one nodded.  "That's more than reasonable.  Last minute doubts would skew it."  He knelt in front of Don.  "Father, I had a desire to do the other spell that has come to us."

Don shuddered.  "That spell still creeps me out but that's a personal choice," he offered.  "As long as you know what you're getting into and you're sure you want the child and will take care of the child."  He looked up and nodded.  "Then I have no problem with you doing the spell."

"I am not one with magic, Father."

"Ah."  He looked at Danny.  "You studied it more closely.  Can it be used on another?"

"It can be.  The caster would become the other parent.  It might come with a higher risk of complications though."  The priest nodded at that, staring at him.  "You need ta think about this.  One of the possible complications is death if you miscarry and no one realizes."

"I understand.  Would one of you grant me the honor of casting it?"

Don shook his head.  "No.  I'll only cast that on the person I settle with in as my consort.  I'm not spreading kids around except with the person I love more'n anything."

"That is reasonable and a wise decision, Father.  I know it's not me.  Perhaps the Protectors?"

"I'm still thinking.  There's some complications there," he admitted.  "Some oddness still.  We're not ready for that yet."  That got a nod and he got up, bowing at Don before leaving.  He looked at Danny.  "Unless you wanna have one?"

"Not really."  He shuddered. "I'm not a big fan of kids."  Don nodded at that.  "Kate did threaten one on me though."

"I'll keep that in mind."  Don smiled at Stella, then at Danny.  "Shall we head home?"

"We shall," she agreed, taking his hand.  Danny smiled and they double apparated while he watched, then he followed.  They all landed about the same time in the living room.  "We're back."

"We are," Don agreed, kissing her, then pulling Danny in for one.  "I feel like snuggles and gropes.  Anyone else?" he asked with a boyish grin.

"I could stand some snuggles but maybe not gropes today.  I'm having my quarterly female issue."

Don kissed her.  "I understand fully.  So we'll just cuddle and grope you mildly unless you wanna have boy sex with us?"  She smiled and swatted him but followed them into the bedroom.  "Oh, Danny," he called, getting a smirk back.  "I believe you have something I want."  He pounced him, taking a kiss and playing with what was his.  Stella moaned at that and got out what they'd want later, then stripped down to her panties and got onto the bed, pulling on Don's belt so he'd back them up.  She got them undone and their pants fell from gravity, making Danny trip and knock Don onto the bed.  She got them stripped and played with Danny's back, making him moan.  Don pulled back from his kisses, smiling at him.  "Can we make you the toy, Danny?" he asked.  "Just us?"

Danny's head was being clouded by Stella's fingers and Don's kisses, that's why he could only nod.  Stella licked up his back, making him shiver but it was all good.  They took good care of him.  "Would you share some of those memories with us?" Stella asked in his ear.  "Please, Danny?  Let us see how special you three were?"  He shook his head.  "Please?"

"Can't.  Have to be in on it."

She pouted.  "I understand."

Don moved Danny and pounced her.  "Even I don't know and we've all got stuff we kept from the bond, Stella."  He kissed her gently, stroking through her hair.  "I don't want them until he's comfy enough to give them freely this time."  She nodded and they both smiled at Danny, making him a bit nervous.  "It'll be good," he promised, moving to tease his cock.  Danny was a right to the point guy with him most of the time.  He could do that for him this time.  Stella could make him their toy for a while.  They had Danny writhing between them, with Stella playing and stretching him for their pleasure.  He was dancing on her fingers and she was loving this power.  Don slid home, making Danny moan and arch up.  "Shh, mine," Don soothed, stroking his hair while he moved.  Danny was already at the babbling stage.  He smiled and got harder and faster, feeling her hand come between them to clamp the cock ring on Danny.  He grinned when he protested.  "It'll be good.  She wants some too."

"I can have her ass," he moaned, thrusting up. "Please?"  Don sped up, making him need it more.  The more Don moved the more he needed.  The more he needed the more he begged.  The more he begged, the hotter Stella got and eventually Mac came home for an early lunch.  Danny grunted at him and wrapped Don around him, encouraging him on.  Don finally came and panted, laying on his chest.  "Don," he moaned.  "Take the ring off, please?" he begged.

Mac finished stripping and laid down beside him, stroking his stomach.  "Danny, can I help?"  Danny gave him a look.  "Please?  I want this part of you so much."  He teased where Don was still laying, making Danny gasp and arch up. "Please?"  Don slid out of the way.  "May I?"  Danny pounced, he was desperate enough for toys.  Mac made him calm down, touching and stroking him first, but he was still frantic when he slid into him.  Danny moaned the whole way and Mac smiled.  "You're still very tight."  He shifted some and started to move, making Danny babble in another language.  Stella kissed him at the first hint of magic coming out, but Mac shooed her off to play with Don this time.  He kept going, slowly increasing until Danny was mindless, unable to babble, unable to do more than make pleading and begging noises.  He leaned down next to his ear.  "You drive me to that point too," he promised. "You're good to me, Danny Messer."  He undid the ring and let him come, making himself hold on until he was done to take advantage of the post tremors to thrust his last few times and come then.  Danny went limp and held on so he even got to cuddle for a bit.  Don made Stella squeak high pitched noises as she came and it was happiness all around.  Even if they did need a nap and Don had to dissipate the pent- up magic floating around their bedroom.

Danny looked up once he heard Stella and Don snoring.  "Well, that makes twice now."

"Some day it'll just be us and I'll be happy with that," he promised, stroking his cheek.  "For now, Don wanted you more today and I got hot thinking about how you did that for him.  That's why I asked."  He took a kiss.  "You make me make the same sounds Stella does, Danny.  I'm not used to that.  Claire never treated me like a toy."

"Everyone should be a toy now and then, Mac.  It's good for them."  He snuggled in again, content to be held for a few more minutes.  "Work?"

"Boss's prerogative.  Long lunch."  He wrapped Danny in his arms and stroked his back.  "I needed this.  We needed to connect again."  Danny yawned and nodded, letting himself drift off too.  Mac smiled and held him until he was fully asleep.  He had to nudge Danny to let him go but when he did Don and Stella pounced with a simple 'I'm cold,' whispered their way.  He smiled and took a mental snapshot to remember this moment on the bad days.  Danny was limp, sated, and smiling because of him.  Stella and Don had each other for the moment.  It was a nice lunch.  He cleaned up and got dressed, heading back to work to do something good and think about their relationship, only getting smacked once by Horatio for being too contemplative.  His point of 'you don't think about it, just do it; it makes it easier and saner' was a good one.   He'd have to consider that next.

***

Mac came home and found the three of them on a couch with Speed snuggled into Don's side.  He smiled at the pretty picture and got a grin back from Speed.  "Horatio know you're escaping?"

"Yup.  He told me to go away for an hour so he could do something.  So I came up to fondle Don and tease Stella."  He stroked Don's arm, watching the jealousy pop up.  So instead he played with Danny's leg.  That got an even more jealous look.  Speed stared him down, getting an evil look.

"Mac, he got there first," Danny noted.  "Literally if I'm remembering right."  He and Speed shared a look.  "That was you, right?"

"Yeah, it was me.  The person rubbing your back was Tony."  They looked at Mac again, seeing the amused, yet still jealous look.  "Mac, you've got to get used to it.  I'm not taking him from you, only borrowing some attention before he kills you all in bed."

"I haven't been that bad in years.  Stella's worse now."  Stella gave him a look.  "Who was it that went to the toy shop in Diagon and came home to strap us all down?"

"I had fun," she admitted happily.  "Didn't you?"  He smirked at her, then swatted and took her chocolate to nibble.  "Hey!  That's my dinner."

"Fat chance," Mac told her.  "You can eat a real dinner, Stella.  So can the rest of you."  He headed into the bedroom to changing, finding himself out of clothes.  "I'll be right back.  I need to bring more stuff over."  He popped home, finding someone in there.  His gun cleared the holster before the person turned around.  "Who are you?"  He sent a thought at the others.  The man gave him an amused look.  "Now," he ordered coldly.

"I was sent by your former Commander, Taylor."

"I doubt it."

"We have need of you."

"Again, I doubt it."  Danny popped in behind him, wand in hand.  "Danny."

"Flack's coming with backup."  He glared at the guy.  "Huh. You don't look military to me.  You don't stand like Mac or any of the others I know."

"We know about Gibbs, son."

"I'm not your kid.  My father's locked up."  He pointed his wand at him.  "Immoblius."  The man went totally still.  "I hate morons."  Mac put his gun away.  "Don's about a block away.  Check him for ID and a wand before they get here."  Mac did that, using his cuffs to lock him down too.  They heard footsteps on the stairs.  "Incoming."  He unfroze him and hid the wand when he went to answer the door.  "Him, guys."

"He was looking through my mail. I need to check for listening devices."  Mac looked at the ID again, then at the man in front of him.  "That was the wrong move."   He called Gibbs the normal way.  "It's Taylor, who do we call in the local office?"  He jotted down the number.  "Thank you."  He hung up and called.  "This is Detective Taylor, NYPD, I've got one of your boys who just broke into my apartment.  We'll be here and he's under arrest and staying that way," he said firmly.  He hung up and looked at the boys.  "Flack, question him in the kitchen."  Don and the officers walked him that way.  He showed Danny the Pentagon ID.  That got a nod.  "You think?"

"Is what he said true?"

"He's staying mute," Don called.

Danny pointed his wand at him, then muttered something under his breath.  The man started to speak slowly, like it was being forced out of him, in response to the questions.  Mac smirked at Danny when the wand got put away again.  "I'll have to remember that one."

"Yeah, I thought about using it before but I didn't think you'd clear it," he agreed quietly.  He went in there, looking at him.  "Why are you after Mac and are you after Gibbs?"

"No."

"No to which?"

"No, I'm not after Gibbs.  He can't help us."

Danny snorted.  "Ya know, if there's any guy who can do things for you, it's Gibbs."  He crossed his arms.  "Why are you after Mac?"

"He has skills we need."  Danny and Don both snickered.  "You think it's funny?"

"I think you need a better explanation," Don assured him, letting Mac check for listening and taping devices while they did the interrogation.  Tony strolled in.  "Hey, DiNozzo."

"Local office got a call, they called Gibbs instead.  He told me to come since I was local.  Local office got told he was untouchable."

"Gee, he doesn't look like that sort of G-Man," one of the officers offered.  Tony grinned at him. "It was a good movie."

"It was.  One of the only things I've liked Costner in."  That got another laugh.  He looked at the person in front of him again.  "Special Agent DiNozzo, NCIS," he introduced.  "Why are you in New York to bother Detective Taylor?"  He knew this spell very well.  The more specific the question the better the answer.

"His former commander sent me to bring him back into the fold.  We have need of his skills," he ground out. "What did you do to me!" he demanded, glaring at Danny.  "I can have you taken too."

"Others have tried," he noted dryly.  "Mac's former commander is dead," he said dryly.  "He went to his funeral a few years back."  The man gave him a horrified look.  "So, wanna try again?"

"He sent me."

Mac walked in, handing over the bag of bugs to Don.  "Which commander sent you?"

"Pierce."

"He was never mine," Mac told him.  "Sorry. Not my job."  The man gave him a horrified look.  "It wasn't my duty.  Sorry.  Take him, boys, or you, Tony."

"No, we get him," Tony said fondly.  Don handed over the guy's ID.  "Oh, yeah.  We get him.  Boys, can you bring him down to the car for me?"  They nodded and drug him off to help him.  He was a polite Fed, they appreciated that.  He grinned at Danny, then at Mac.  "Jealousy is bad, Mac.  Everything's the same for you.  It's not like I'm going to ask to be there and help."  He shot him a grin and a wink then left.

Danny shrugged at the looks.  "Not me.  Ask Speed.  You gave him the jealous looks."   He looked at the bugs.  "Hey, Tony," he called out loud and mentally.  "Need the bugs?"  He came back and got them, heading off, turning the car into a portkey on the way once he was out of sight.  Danny grinned at Mac, then looked around before kissing him on the cheek.  "It'll be all right.  Now, go pack.  You can have the couch."  He smirked and walked off.

Mac sent a clear shot of Danny on his back at him.  "You'll pay for that quip, Messer," he said quietly.

Don snickered.  "You two are like playful puppies.  Should we bring the dog too?"

"No, the dog's fine where he is."  He swatted him on the arm.  "Move."  Don got out of the way.  "Find me the shopping bags?  They should be under the sink.  I'll bring over food too since it'll only go to waste here."  Don nodded, handing him that then going to help him in the bedroom.  The officers would think it was a security precaution.  Which it was but Don had moved in last month when his lease had run out.  Paying half the rent and the bills was a lot cheaper.  Mac looked at him.  "I own this place, Don."  Don grinned at that and they headed off, taking Danny back home. They found Stella and Speed cooking and laughing in the kitchen.  "Bad news, the military came calling.  The commander he mentioned was over an extermination squad."  Stella hugged him. "It's all right, Stella, I promise."  He kissed her then Don.  "I don't think you bouncing around as a puppy would help that situation any."

"It would've been fun," Danny offered, laying down to lounge again.  It was his turn to lounge since others were cooking.

Mac came out of the kitchen and looked at him.  "I'm not sleeping on the couch," he said in Danny's ear.  "As a matter of fact, the only thing I foresee on the couch is you in my lap later."  Danny gave him a look, shaking his head.  "Oh, yes."  He walked around and put Danny in his lap, making him sit still for a few minutes.  Danny finally tensed up so he let him go.  "See?  I knew my prediction would come true."

"I'm not a lap bunny, Mac.  Try that with Don."

Mac pulled him over to kiss him.  "We're going to have to work this out, Danny.  I'm as territorial as anyone else is.  Especially over you.  I don't care if you, Speed, and Tony play as long as I know before you go play with them.  I'm not going to let myself be kept out of that loop."  Danny nodded and shrugged. "Good.  Then I think it's time we spent some quality time together. We never spend any time together and you're still wary of my touch."  He pulled him back into his lap.  Danny stiffened again.  "I know you're not the weaker one, Danny.   I'd never do that to you.  Now and then I do have this alpha imperative.  The same as you do and we all walk funny the next day."  He stroked his cheek and smiled.  "Now it's time for our two to work things out.  It's got to be more even between us. Some day soon I want to have a day like I had with Don recently, the only one in your body and pleasuring you."  Danny shivered at that. "Can we work in that direction?  Then you'd get equal time?"  Danny nodded.  "Thank you."  He took a kiss.  "Besides, it's easier to tease you when you're in my lap.  My arms aren't long enough when you're lounging against my thigh."  He stroked him, making Danny tense up and then laugh and swat at him.  "Not going to say anything?"

"You've done okay."

"Thank you."  He took another kiss and went back to teasing him. "Can I have you again?"  Danny shook his head.  "That's fine.  You'll have me later.  Stella can ride Don into the mattress with a toy."

"Did that earlier, can again," Stella agreed happily from the kitchen.

Horatio yelled at them all for broadcasting, that he was in the middle of a fire fight and could use that part of his brain back, thank you.  Speed and Don went down to help, stunning some when they appeared out of sight and came running up behind them to help.  It was solved and Horatio's headache was soothed later on by Eric's fingers on the back of his neck.  It was a good thing.  This time.  Though Speed did go over the exercises with Horatio again.  He had to be able to block out Mac.  Danny was going over them with Mac again, making him do them again.  It was needed on his side.

***

Gibbs walked into the New York CSI station the next morning, coffee in hand.  Stella and Lindsey saw him first, pointing at the office.  "He's in there.  He's not happy," Stella warned.

"I'm not happy, he's not happy.  It's a Marine thing," he said grimly, heading that way.   He came back and looked at her.  "I had one guy who turned a warlord into a woman to give him a taste of his own medicine."

She smirked evilly.  "Did we give him a medal?"

"No, but they're still debating charging him or not.  It's divided."  He walked off, a bit happier now at making her quit growling at whatever.  He liked and respected Stella.  Hell, if he liked brunettes, the quad would have some competition for her.  He walked into the office without a knock, finding Don in there.  "She called?"

Don grinned and nodded.  "Of course.  Warlord into a woman?  Sounds fair ta me.  He one who tortures them?"  He nodded.  "Then pity.  Hope his guys do to him what he did to others."  He handed over the file in his hand.   "The last reports from the three killed at the strip club."

"Thanks.  They're going to court marshal this week."  He looked at Mac.  "He know?"  He nodded.  "You're right, they're trying to get you back to go out and exterminate.  I talked with Pierce.  He tried to pull his wand on me and I snapped it on him.  Then I pointed out that's what was making him a weaker Marine if an old warhorse like me can do that.  He's babbling hard about the hit squad they want to go to Iraq."  Mac stiffened.  "And other places."  He took a drink of his coffee.  "I have pointed out you are off the call list.  If only because Danny would bug DiNozzo to the point he'd never get anything done."  They shared a look and Don looked innocently at them, even smiling like a little angel.  "And him."  He looked at Mac again.  "I pointed this out to the higher ups.  They're considering if this is a bad thing or not but I did point out you had been discharged honorably and you were a busy man taking out bad people who shot others.  They decided you're more valuable here.  The same as I am where I am.  Their words, not mine," he finished dryly.

"So for now we're safe?" Don asked.

"For now.  Though they do want to know what Danny did to their guy."  Don shrugged.  "Should I try to ask Tony?"

"Maybe.  They had different emphasis in what they did in their spare time in school from the way they told me.  It only connected for neat things, pranks, and quidditch."

"Sure.  I'll ask DiNozzo.  Any other issues we've got?"

"Horatio yelled at him for broadcasting again," Don teased.  Mac glared at him.  "You did."

"Behave.  Before I paddle you.  We're at work, Don."  He looked at Gibbs again.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  Did those three work things out together? Last I heard Speed was unsure if it was something Ryan did to him."

"They're fine and together.  Now and then Eric has to pound that point into his head," Don offered.  "Horatio's incredibly tolerant now and then."  He grinned.  "We're playing a pickup game this weekend.  You wanna come?"

"I wouldn't mind.  Can I bring Abby so she quits moping and thinking violent thoughts?"

"You can and probably should.  He's just now back from the game and it got brutal.  Ron emailed us and her, said he got a concussion from the game and he's still babbling.  Otherwise he would've written.  So apparently the other team had someone who plays like Danny does."  That got a small smirk.  "We'll make sure you both get there.  The other guy too."

"How is Ziva doing?" Mac asked.

"She's healed.  She's quiet.  She still snaps at Tony now and then.  I'm starting to think she was an intentional plant and now she's lost without orders."  Mac nodded.  "Think we should question her that same way?"

"Are you sure Tony hasn't?" Don offered.  Gibbs stared at him and he shrugged. "He seems like the sort who could do that."

"He does."  He nodded and smirked. "Thanks, boys.  Let me get home with these forms.  Need anything else, call, Taylor."

"I will, Gibbs.  Good luck with her."

"If not, I was told to try to recruit Wolfe from Miami.  Apparently he's sharp and good.  Figured it all out while they were trying to hide it."  He smirked and walked off, knowing Don was telling Horatio that.  Danny met him outside. "I've got a way back."

"Sure. I was going to give you new coffee."  Gibbs finished his last one and tossed the cup, then Danny handed him the new portkey, waving as he left.  He went back inside, going back to work, cackling when he landed in the garage instead of the office as intended.  Well, he could get up there easily enough and it kept him from running into the back of the questioning people, namely Tony's mother. He heard Tony's ongoing scene of what was going on and looked around, sending a thought at Mac before he went down there.  He pushed the button on the elevator, looking at the guy beside him. "Hi."  He pulled his wand and obliviated him and took out the new spy camera.  The flash of him coming in would've disturbed it for a few seconds.  He walked off and handed it to McGee, then pulled Tony up, looking at him.  "You're fretting, my bitch.  Why?"  Tony smirked and pointed.  He looked at Tony's mother. "Mom."

"Daniel," she said cautiously, one hand drifting up to cover her throat.  "I've seen Timothy, it's nice to see you're still all right as well."

He shrugged.  "I'm good."  He sat down and put Tony in his lap, patting his back.  "What's up with the visit?  He called and said you wanted to see me?"

"I asked him about you," she offered, smiling slightly.  "Should you be doing that at work, Daniel?  It might make him look back to his little friends here."

"You guys mind if I soothe my bitch?  Gibbs?"

"He's my bitch now, Messer, you know that."

"Only if you're on a case, Gibbs," he said dryly, giving him a look.  He looked at Tony's mother again.  "More problems from the will?  I know he was going to appoint a manager to handle it for him but work's been murder, in most cases literally."  She went pale at that.  "If so, I can help him or one of my other bitches can.  Taylor's a good guy.  Well trained in Chicago."  She swallowed and shook her head.  "You sure?  I mean, it'd be good for him to get out of the office for a few days."  Speed walked up and he smirked. "There's my other one."  Speed smirked at him and leaned on the partition wall.  "So, what's up?"

"Just some questions about particular assets."

Danny looked at Tony.  "What, exactly, did you want out of this?"

"The farm and half the cash.  Everything else is hers or whoever's."

"I think that's fair," Danny agreed, looking at him.  "Before I go back to the Ministry up there and start filing accounts of what happened when he was twelve and the one you tried ta force him ta marry, or even the other stuff I know."  She nodded and backed off. "Anything else, Mom?  If not, my bitch here's gotta work and I've got murderers ta catch too."  She shook her head and fled to the elevator, taking it and disappearing from in there.  Danny looked at Speed.  "He's screaming at you."

"He's screaming because you called me your bitch," Speed said dryly.  He pulled Tony up and grinned at him.  "Fixed?"

"I hope so, I hate dealing with her."  He looked at Danny.  "You vowed no narking."

"I did and I won't as long as she plays nicely.  You know damn well she'll try something to get complete control.  The same way you're pretty sure she killed your stepmother."  He shrugged and stood up.  "Gotta protect what's mine."  They shared an evil smirk as information and ideas passed over their private bond. "I'll tell Mac to help you with that.  He could use something to threaten outside the office.  Maybe he and Gibbs can do it with Horatio advising?"  He smirked and winked, heading to the elevator.  He shoved the repair guy out of it and got in, disarming everything and disappearing from in there.

"Gotta love him in protective mode," Speed agreed, dragging over the guy and handing him to McGee.  "Rest easier, Tony.  Gotta go back before he starts to nag and yell."  He disappeared from the bathroom once he made it in there.

Tony sat down again with a sigh of relief.  "Sorry you had to be subjected to my mother, guys.  Now you know why I have a headache.  Who's he, McGee?  Danny shoved him out of the elevator."

"He was putting surveillance devices in it earlier."

"Charming.  Pity they won't work, but charming."  He did a small temporal charm to make them not work all day then looked at Gibbs once he was done with his wandless use.  "So, boss."

"DiNozzo.  No wonder you came in with a migraine during the will episode."

"Well, yeah."  He shrugged and got comfortable.  "It happens.  I raised myself better with the staff's help."  Ziva looked at him oddly.  "Yes, my parents have money."  He looked at his boss again.  "Anything yet, boss?"

"Pickup game this weekend."

"I heard.  We'll make sure you and she get there.  McGeek too if he wants."

"What about me?" Ziva asked.  "Going to see an NCIS softball game is supposed to be very relaxing."

"Ziva, I'm going to go play like in that picture," he said, looking at her.  She went pale. "With the two who I'll spank later for calling me their bitch."  She went even paler.  "I'll see if you can go if you want."

"No thank you.  Those are private rituals."  He shrugged and got back to his websurfing.  Since they didn't have a new case and the cold ones had already been went through and nothing new found yet.

Gibbs looked at Tony, then nodded.  "We should talk over lunch, DiNozzo."

"Sure, boss.  Where are we eating?  I might need to hit an ATM."

"The deli's running good specials this week," McGee offered.

"Thanks, Probie."

"Welcome, Tony.  Can you bring me back a sandwich?"

"Of course."  He smirked at him.  "The usual?"  That got a nod.  "I won't even lick it this time."  McGee grimaced at that and Tony grinned.  "Teasing."

"Thank you.  I don't need to know about your mouth germs."

"Enough," Gibbs ordered.  He called security and pointed at the guy. "Apparently he got shocked while putting things that don't belong in the elevator?"

"Probably, sir," they agreed, walking him off.  Downstairs the security supervisor clued them in on why he was protesting the new surveillance devices.  They'd have to do it anyway, it was an order.  If only so they could find out how they kept getting disabled.

***

Mac took the opportunity to call Horatio the old fashioned way, on his cell.  They were decent enough friends he could go to this with.  "Horatio, Mac.  I need advice.   No, romantic advice.  Because I was never one before."   He smiled at the simple suggestion.   "That would do us all good."   He grinned.  "Having to do that to yours?"   He giggled at 'no, the boys go play and I get to watch them' he got back. "Thanks, that's what I needed.  Yes, Danny did just call me, Speed, and Tony his bitches.  Right now I'm thinking spanking," he admitted dryly.  "Sure, I'll tell you how it goes if I do.  Thanks."  He hung up and got back to work finishing the paperwork on his last case.  It was a good idea.  Danny reappeared and strolled past his office.  He sent an evil thought at him and got a smirk back.  "Yes it looks like some corporal punishment is in order," he muttered.  He felt Don's giggle and checked on him.  His cult member was gushing over a dragon who was on his desk being petted.  He groaned.  How did Beaua get over here this time?"

***

Don walked in shaking his head at Danny's banter.  He'd get him later for the 'bitches' comment.  He paused, looking at his desk and the thing on it.  "Beaua," he said dryly, walking over to sit down and pet her.  The other wizard in the squad gave him an odd look.  "She lives with Dawn at school."

He just nodded at that.  He knew who Dawn was from many entertaining weekend stories.  He shook his head when the dragon bleated at him.  "Don't look at me, I have to buy lunch too."

She looked at Don, making him smile and hand over half his sandwich.  Stella had made it specially for him so she wasn't going to get all of it.  She was still appreciative and settled in to be petted and adored.  Even after another human squealed and came over to look at her.  She sniffed this one then graciously allowed him to pet her shedding scales.

"Someone needs brushed and sanded again," Don teased.  He grinned at his cult member.  "This is Beaua, she lives with a friend's little sister at school."

"She's beautiful, Detective.  Very nicely conformed."  He smiled at him.  "There are many raving your name in joy and the two you had think more are doing so," he said quietly.  Don grinned at that and they both went back to petting the dragon.  "She is quite special."

"Yeah, but she's not the shirt diver her buddy at home is."   His cult member giggled and nodded at that.  He called Tony over the bond, getting a smile for that and him calling Alex to see why the dragon was over.  "I'm wondering why she's here."

"She appeared," the other wizard said quietly.  "Outside, waddled past the desk and hopped into your chair then onto your desk."

"Hey, you can hunt," Flack said happily, making her purr louder when he scratched an eye ridge.   His boss came out of her office.  "I don't know how she got here, boss.  I know she lives at a school a friend of mine goes to."

"Local?"

"Not really.  Long commute if it was."  He looked up as Danny strolled in.  Yeah, he was too smug.  They'd be getting him later for the 'bitches' comment.  "Look who tracked us down."

"Alex said that she ran away from a kid who had an accident."  He scratched her scales, making her hum and arch up into his hand.  "Good girl, Beaua."  She looked at him.  "We should send you back."

"She can stay for a while, until someone comes to get her," Don said, looking a bit petulant.  "I'll watch her."

"She still needs scrubbed and oiled."

"I can do that too.  If no one comes in by tonight, I'll send her back."

"Fine, as long as you watch her and keep her out of the labs."  They shared a look.  "Anyway, wanna a suspect?  'Cause I figured out who it was, we've only got to finish proving it."  Don beamed at him.  "Good.  Let's go.  We can bring her with us."

"I can watch her," the officer offered.

"Won't you get in trouble?" Don asked.

"Technically I'm on desk duty today."  Don looked at the dragon, who snuffled him and leapt up onto his shoulders.  "Thank you, Beaua.  It's a great honor."  He walked off, going to let her help him.  She did keep people off his desk and in line, and got a few more pets from some of the other officers.  "She came to visit Detective Flack," he told his boss when he came to see what the other guys were babbling about.  "She goes to school with a friend's sister."

"Uh-huh.  The station is not the place for pets."  Stella walked out and petted her.  "Of course, if the detectives like her," he said dryly, giving her a dirty look.

"Beaua's fully housetrained.  Someone's on their way to pick her up.  She ran away when one of the kids scared her."

"I see.  So....  She's what sort of lizard?"

"No comment," she said, staring him down.  He backed off at that.  "Thank you.  Beaua, need outside?"  She gave the human a dirty look. "Just asking, I'd carry you so you didn't have to bite anyone for stepping on your tail."  Said tail flicked and she went back to resting.  "Fine.  Let me know if there's any problems," she told the cult member.  "I'll handle it.  Mac's out on a scene."

"Yes, Detective."  She smiled and walked off.  He patted the dragon's tail and moved it off his paperwork.  "Next."  The next one was drug over and he got to work booking them.  His boss stomped off, giving the dragon grim looks.  He looked down.  "Maybe you should suck up to him. I know he's got jerky in his desk."

She wiggled down and followed him, going to be a lap dragon and get a treat.  The man gave her a horrified look when she leapt in his lap but she stared at him imperiously and laid down, sniffing at his drawers.  "What are you?  A cat/lizard hybrid?"  She puffed some air at him and he groaned.   "Please tell me you're not a dragon?"  She smirked and sniffed the drawer again.  "Fine."  He got out a piece of jerky, letting her have it.  She nibbled contentedly and he got to pet her.  She was adorable.  He called Flack.  "Is this a real dragon or some exotic I've never heard of?" he demanded.  "Yes, this is, and she's in my lap sucking on my jerky treats."  He listened to the stunned silence.  "Flack."  He heard the quiet response.  "Fine.  Come get your dragon out of my precinct.  This hour, Flack."  He heard him report where he was.  "I don't care how you do it.  Get your girlfriend or other boyfriend to do it.  Yes, some of us are aware of that.  He was an idiot.  Some of us are not."  He smirked.  "Sure.  Do the popping around thing even.  Thank you.  Pets do not come to the station for a reason, Detective."  He hung up and a few minutes later Don walked in and took his dragon, heading off again.  He shook his head.  Did he really think he was hiding it all that well?

***

"Guys?"  Mac said over dinner, putting down his fork.  "I have an idea and I think it'll help us.  We're all stressed and there's not much alone time with all of us together so I thought we might want to have special 'couple' days.  Two of us will spend the day alone and do whatever we want while the others are at work or whatever."  They all shrugged at that.  "The only thing I'm not sure about is how to pick who goes.  Do we draw couples from a hat or just pick who we'd like to spend time with?"

"I say pick them out of a hat and arrange the schedules that week," Stella offered.  "That way there's equal opportunity to be with one of the other three.  I know if we were choosing it'd end up being you and me and Don and Danny first, then one side would switch probably."

"I'd rather draw from a hat, but the schedule arranging thing doesn't always work too well with my boss," Don offered, then he took a drink of his water.  "Danny?"

"I'm good with it.  I don't spend that much time with Stella and Mac usually.  You and I go out and do stuff all the time."  Danny smiled at them.  "We'll make out slips tonight after dinner."  They nodded and dug in to eat.  He knew this was Mac's way of getting closer to him and making things more equal but they had two alpha dogs in this relationship, there was going to be some work making him roll over for belly scratches on Mac's part.  Especially if he wanted to be the only one who had him that day.  He felt Tony's sigh and connected with him, easing his anger some.  He soothed him and told him he could come up for a while.  Tony said it was painful so he couldn't.  Danny snorted and mentally swatted him. "Guys, Tony needs someone to watch him tonight. Anyone mind?"  They shook their heads.  None of them could be jealous of the bond between Speed, Tony, and Danny.  They could only feel the edges of it through their own bond and it was a powerful, sucking bond that drew one in and made you feel warm.  Danny finished up and washed his dishes, leaving the soapy water there for the others, then he disappeared, landing on Tony's couch.  He snuggled into his side. Tony reached down to stroke his arm, staring at the tv.

***

Speed looked up from his dinner, then sighed and looked at Horatio and Eric.  "Tony's having a bad night."

"Why?  Did he see what's-her-name again?" Eric asked, eating another bite.

Speed nodded.  "Yeah, she was in town and he saw her.  It's rough.  His father drove her off.  She was the *only* one that got near to his affection for us.  Kate gave him some hope of a new one but it'll be in a few years."  He shrugged and finished up then put his plate in the dishwasher.  "I'm going to go hang with him and Danny, see if we can get him up again."  Horatio nodded.  "Don't wait up.  I may end up crashing on his couch."

"If I taste him on you, I'd better hear it before hand," Eric warned.  Strangely enough, the playboy was the jealous one of the three of them.  Horatio was possessive but Eric was *jealous* and guarded what was his.  Speed nodded and disappeared, heading to DC to sit on Tony's other side and cuddle him.  Eric looked at Horatio.  "What's the bond like?"

"Loud," he said with a small, fond looking smile.  "Mac still thinks too loudly."  He shifted in his seat and put down his fork.  "It's comforting, knowing and feeling that there's always someone there on the other end."

Eric finished his water and looked at him. "I know we figured out that my wandless stuff could make lower level wanded spells work too, but do you think...."

"You'd have to be willing to share everything with them, Eric," he said gently.  "Every memory, every part of yourself.  That's part of the bonding process."  Stella appeared and handed him two pieces of pie.  "Thank you, Stella."

"Welcome," she said with a smile.  "Did you two have a good day off?"

"We did," Eric agreed happily, smiling back.  "What's the bond like for you?"

"Loud."  He smiled at that and shook his head.  "Seriously.  Mac tends to broadcast.  Horatio got to yell at him yesterday while you guys were in that firefight for thinking too loud."

"More than once yesterday, you two were asleep during the other one," Horatio offered, patting her wrist.  "Speaking of broadcasting."

"I've asked one of the Banes about shields to put between us.  She suggested blanket walls instead of full walls.  That way we could hear and feel if someone patted on them while we were busy or having sex, but it wouldn't let random noises get through.  She said Greg and Philip could work on us this weekend."

"That would be nice.  We're still on for the game?"  She nodded.  "Eric, did you want to watch us play?"

"Please.  Can I bring Mari?"

"I'll have to check," Stella offered.  "We play at Alex's house."  Eric nodded at that.  "I'll ask him then."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "Just because someone took him from you once doesn't mean they'll do it again, Eric.  Remember there's always a risk on the job, for both of you."  She gave him a look then disappeared.

"She's slightly all knowing," Horatio offered with a small grin.  He handed Eric his pie and dug into his with a moan.  She did bake very well.  Eric dug in with a smile.  You had to like anything that made his other lover moan that way.  That's one of the reasons why he loved Speed, he induced those moans daily.  Horatio watched Eric think.  "What?" he asked when he frowned at his thought.

"I just had a thought."  He shook it off.  Horatio gave him that steady, staring, gaze that got people to break under the silence.  "I just realized one of the reasons I liked him was because he made you moan that same way."

"It's one of his many talents," Horatio agreed dryly, smirking at him.  "You do as well, Eric.  Usually when you two do things that keep me up at night."  Eric giggled.  "Not kidding."  He ate another bite.  "Do you like him just because he's him?"  Eric nodded slowly.  "Are you sure?"

"I am, even though he's an annoying prick sometimes."

Horatio smirked.  "You said you didn't mind going to the park with him today and playing catch."

"Yeah, but he made me a purse dog," he said in disgust.

"Speed's playful," he reminded him.  "Though I've heard Danny was the worst prankster of the three."

"How do you feel about that inner bond?"

"It's odd, but it kept them sane, happy, and together for a long time.  Through a lot of tragedies.  That's what held Danny together when his girlfriend died.  When Tony's father ran his off.  When Speed ended up leaving his family.  Even if they had blocked some of it off and drifted apart, they still knew when they needed each other.  Though I never realized Speed used to leave this often in the past."

"He probably didn't, that's why they were drifting."  He ate another bite of his pie and moaned.  "Tell Stella she can bake for me anytime?  I'll beg."  Horatio smiled and sent that though.  Then his smile got brighter.  "Is she offering to do more?"

"No, she's giggling into Mac's shoulder.  They're cuddled together watching Don try to reach the itchy spot on his back in dog form."  Eric smiled at that.  Someone knocked on the door.  "Who is it?" he called.

"Me," Ryan called.

Horatio went to let him in.  "Ryan.  What's wrong?"

"Two major things."  He stepped inside and shut the door behind him.  "One of them is that Marisol came looking for Eric at the office.  I have her at my place, Eric.  I wasn't sure where you were and she said someone was bothering her."  Eric nodded at that, moving to call Ryan's place to talk to his sister.  "The other thing," he said quietly, pulling out a paper and holding it up.  "Was that I got given this earlier," he offered, handing it to him.  "He was looking for you too, boss."

Horatio looked at the summons.  Then at him.  "Why are you being sued?"

"I'm not.  The lab is.  Over intentionally screwing up a case according to her."  He moved a bit closer.  "It was while Speed was gone," he said quietly.  "They're going to ask about him.  I heard him calling her to say he had given me mine and was hunting Calleigh.  That he didn't have one for the other tech on shift, was that wrong.  She said he had died when he mentioned Speed's name."  Horatio moaned at that.  "She was shrieking that he had died, she knew he had died, there was no way he was still living."

"I'll handle this."

Ryan shook his head.  "This is going to take all of us, even the biggest mouths in the department."  Horatio nodded at that.  "What do you want me to do tonight?  Scry her, anything?"

"No, for now, let's see who else is on her list.  Get that case and pull it to see what it was."

"I tried that.  Stetler has it locked.  I can't get into it.  I couldn't find it in any of the notes I keep either."  Horatio sighed and nodded.  "I know Alexx wasn't on his list for some reason.  I don't know why.  I do know the dirtbag IAB guy looked very smug when he saw him handing me the summons.  And get this, that contradicts the other one I've got next week."

Horatio looked again and nodded. "Tell the prosecutor first thing in the morning.  See if we can get the file from them."  Ryan nodded.  "I need to know what this case is."

Eric came over.  "Marisol's freaking out, Horatio."

"Bring her here, Eric."  He nodded, going to pick her up.  Ryan handed him his keys, getting a smile.  "Ryan, for right now, we need to see what the case is and what's going on."

"I'd like to know that.  I don't remember that name.  Like I said, I checked my notes when I dropped her off.  I don't have a mention of it in my journal or in the files I keep at home."

"Then let's see what I can pull up," he offered.  "How would you scry them?"

Ryan held up something in a baggie.  "He's a shedding person, Horatio," he said dryly. "That would let me get a look at his clipboard at the least.  That would get me a name."

"Do what you can."  Ryan nodded and headed out, going to his house.  Eric was still there so he could get in.  Horatio called Speed over the bond, telling him there was a lab-wide problem, but that he might not be involved.  To weather the storm if it came.  He got back an 'okay, we'll talk in a few hours when I get home'.  He relaxed and went to check his personal notes as well.  Plus do a search through the online newspapers.  There was no articles with that name.  He called the courthouse's night Magistrate secretary.  "This is Horatio Caine.  Fine, thank you, and yourself?"  He smiled at her happy talk about her grandchildren.  "That's great, Mildred.  No, not a new case.  Someone served a summons today to Ryan Wolfe for a case he never worked on and we can't find a mention of it coming through our lab.  Yes, that one.  Which judge?"

He frowned, that one he had nearly gotten to take down but he had dodged out on some shaky evidence.  "Can you tell me anything about it?  No, I don't have a thing under that name that I can find.  Even what sort?  That would be perfect.  Thank you.  No, you know what, send it to Frank Tripp's home address please.  I'll get it from him.  He was the only detective I worked with during the week Ryan was told.  Thank you, Mildred, and I do hope that cold of hers clears a bit.  I saw her the other day when she brought Clarice some dinner."  He smiled.  "You as well.  Thank you."  He hung up and called Frank.  "Expect a fax from Mildred in the night magistrate's office.  No, Ryan got served a summons...."  He listened to what Frank said.  "I don't remember that case, Frank.  Neither does he."  He nodded at that piece of information.  "Then why come to us?  That makes no sense.  Thank you.  When you get it, call me.  I'll pop over and get it.  Thank you, Frank."  He hung up and called Ryan.  "It was done by the non-felony lab.  I have no idea, Mr. Wolfe.  Thank you."  He hung up and sat down to contemplate what little Frank knew.

There was something seriously wrong going on with this summons. He called Stella.  She hadn't heard of it either but she was feeling unsettled too.  Yes, there was definitely something up.

Personnel Issues

Tony opened his email and frowned at the new letter he had gotten.  "When did I...."  He burst out laughing and looked up.  "Your plan to get others to humiliate me failed, Kate," he said quietly.  Gibbs looked over at him, giving him a long, cool stare.  He grinned at him.  "Remember when I got to scream at her for sending in a tape for me so I could be picked to do that MTV show?"

"Yeah, the first reality show thing with the teenagers in the house.  Why?" he asked calmly.

"They're planning on doing one for those of us out in the work world and I got picked thanks to her tape, boss."  He sent him the email message.  He leaned back in his chair.  "So, can I go?"  He grinned.

"It depends, can you *not* use your stuff for the next six months?" McGee countered, smirking at him.  "I remember hearing when she did that.  She picked a totally embarrassing tape if I remember right."

"She cut together some of the surveillance footage here at the office, Probie."  He smirked at him.  "Mostly me bragging about my love life."  He looked at Gibbs again.  "You know, it could let a lot of people know about NCIS, boss.  We might even be able to quit answering who we are."

Gibbs looked at him.  "There will be *no* cameras in here," he ordered firmly.  "You still have to be on call the same hours."  Tony just chuckled.  "But McGee's also right, you'd have to be totally normal, like you pretend to be at work."

"That's one drawback," he admitted, telling Speed and Danny first.  Speed started to rant over the bond about him.  "Speed's not happy about this."

"I'm not happy about this," Gibbs said, typing in a message to the person who sent the email.  "There, let's see if she likes the reality of the job.  Because I would have to clear any and all footage."  They shared a look and Tony burst out in giggles.  "You want to go because it's coed."

"Of course I do, plus it's supposed to be a great experience."

"Is there a prize?" McGee asked.

"Not that I'm aware of.  Then again, maybe they'll want to redecorate my place or something."  He heard Gibbs' email beep and him mutter and walk off, heading upstairs.  "Oooh, someone told the director," he hissed.

"Well, at least you're not *directly* in trouble," McGee said dryly.  Ziva came back from the bathroom.  "Tony got picked to do a Real World house for MTV," McGee said proudly.

"Why?"

"Kate sent it in," Tony said with a grin.  "They're doing one with people who're out in the professional world."

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs yelled.

"Coming, boss."  He got up and jogged up the stairs.  "Yeah, boss?"  He smiled at the director.  "Kate sent it in."

"I heard that already.  What would be the downside of this?"

"Cameras everywhere."  The director moaned and smoothed his hair down.  "It might also throw off my hours now and then here.   Plus probably some personally compromising issues."

"I've seen your friends and your mother up here," he said grimly.

"My father died, she came up to nag, they came to support me."

"Are they local?"

"Now and then."  He looked at his boss.  "The email said I'm supposed to go in tonight to talk to them.  You can come, boss."

"I will be coming, DiNozzo.  This is a bad idea."

The director grimaced.  "Actually I think it's a very good idea, Agent Gibbs.  It could well lead to us getting some fresh blood in the agency and getting us a bit more well known."

"I'm sure someone would like to hear how I got the plague," Tony agreed with a shrug, making him grimace.  He knew this was a bad idea, he had only been teasing Gibbs.  "They'd probably love Abby."  The director gave him a horrified look.  "This is MTV," he noted dryly.  "I'd almost rather it was a True Life segment."

"Which one's that?" Gibbs demanded.

"The ones where they do more of a personal, candid interview to show what being something or a type of person is like.  Give kids some reality as they look at the people around them."  He shrugged.  "It's also shorter."

"I do not like this idea," Gibbs said firmly.

"You may not discourage them.  This is a wonderful opportunity for Agent DiNozzo to become better known and for the agency as well, Agent Gibbs," the director said firmly.  He stood up to look at him.  "It is not for us to get in the way of something that could bring a new focus to the agency."

"DiNozzo will be driven nuts without his DVD collection," he said dryly.  "He already dates more than all the rest of the building combined. I doubt he's going to become an actor either, sir."  The director looked furious.  "Tony?"

"Not since I was young."  He shrugged.  "That was my mother's idea really."  He looked at his boss again.  "If you think it's a bad idea, we'll talk with them together."

"We will," he agreed.  He walked him off.  "What about the *other* stuff?  You can't hide your bond if you tried and you certainly can't hide other stuff."

"Boss, bigger issue.  How did he know Danny and Speed came up to help me with my mother?" he asked.  They shared a look and McGee got a quiet word in his ear, nodding at them that he'd look.  Then he and Gibbs went to New York by portkey to talk to the people.  Speed was still ranting in his head and cursing Kate's name.  He got him calmed down and soothed him, then smiled at Gibbs.  "Speed's not a happy camper."

"Gee, I wonder why," he said dryly.  He looked at the receptionist.  "He got a letter from Miss Goodwin?"  Tony nodded.  "Saying to show up today or tomorrow to talk to her?"

"Name please?"

"DiNozzo, Tony."  She nodded and paged her.   A stunning Asian woman came out and he smiled, shaking her hand.  "Hi, I'm Tony DiNozzo.  This is my boss, Special Agent Gibbs."

"I got his email just now," she admitted.  "Come up to my office and we'll discuss this, gentlemen."  They walked off and she watched Tony.  He was very...alive.  Very charismatic.  He would do very well on the show.  She looked at her email screen, reloading it.  "Hmm, your director wrote as well."

"If he's in my email, I'm suing," Tony told Gibbs.

"No, it says it came from his email but it looks to have been forwarded from Agent Gibbs' account," she admitted. "He wanted to accept for you."

"The coworker of his who sent it in wasn't exactly thinking straight," Gibbs offered.  "We deal in some sensitive cases and subjects."

"Also, there's the security angle.  Anyone who was near me with a camera would have to pass a background and they wouldn't be allowed total access at work," Tony told her, getting comfortable.  "I deal in crime scenes."

"Which are hot."

"Yes, but this isn't a show," Tony told her.  "These are real people with families."  She nodded, understanding that.  "Plus we've worked on classified cases in the past."

"I understand that.  We'd actually be doing very little on your jobs.  I'm more interested in the personal angle.  How you date while working.  How you form longer lasting bonds both in and outside of the work environment.  See, the concept is that we use two groups.  Ones already in the workforce and ones who're about to graduate."

Tony nodded.  "I like that part.  If I was a normal cop, I'd jump at it."  She smiled at that. "Would I be expected to bring this young person to work with me?  Is there another one interested in NCIS or even law enforcement?"

"We were hoping to rotate and them to pick," she admitted.  "I do know the final candidate list does include someone in a criminal justice program."

"That could also lead to law school," Tony offered.

"To be honest, Tony dates more than his fair share," Gibbs said dryly.  "Plus he's got a movie habit."  She smiled at that and nodded.  "Plus friends who pop around unexpectedly."

"Not while this was going on," Tony offered. "I'd have to have someone watching over my stuff, boss."  He looked at her.  "My coworker, Kate, sent it in to tease me about getting rejected."

"I can understand that.  We've had others," she offered.  "I also understand your concerns, and how much your boss wants it since you're a smaller agency.  Let me talk with my people, see if there's a way around this?"

"If it's only going to hinge on his personal life, that's up to him," Gibbs admitted.  "But be aware he's on call for me 24-7, no matter what is going on."  She looked stunned.  "We are always on call."

Tony nodded. "I have to ask for time off for our weekends when we're not on call, just in case," he agreed.  "Because you never know when crime will happen and a team can only really work one open case at a time.  Otherwise their effectiveness is almost nothing."

"I hadn't thought of that.  How do you manage to date?"

Tony shrugged and gave her a sheepish grin.  "It's one of the reasons why I date more than my fair share of DC's women."  She laughed at that.  "It is.  It's incredibly hard being an agent and having a personal life."

She nodded.  "As of this moment you're on my final list.  Let me talk with my superiors about your concerns, Agent Gibbs.  That may be too high of a risk for us."  He nodded at that.  "Are you often shot at?"  Tony nodded.  "How often?"

"Oh, bi-monthly," Tony offered dryly.  He shrugged.  "Depends on the case load.  I've went six whole months without hearing a gunshot and then had seven cases in a row where I got shot at through the years I've been at NCIS.  It would almost be better to have a normal cop do it for them.  If they're going for law enforcement, they've got to hit the academy first.  Plus patrol officers get more standard hours. They get more of a life."  She smiled at that.  "I've worked in a few different departments."

"The problem is that we didn't get any from any officers."

"Go to Miami, look at some of the officers around the crime lab," he offered.  "They're mostly pretty and they might like that.  You'd get good ride along footage without the security concerns and them being put onto a crime scene most likely," Gibbs offered.

Tony looked at him.  "Horatio is going to yell at you."

"You know the person over the crime lab?  We had to deal with him a few years back over a Spring Break death."

Tony nodded and grinned.  "I know most of his lab.  I'm best friends with one of the guys in there and friends with most of the rest.  The same as I know quite a few up here in Taylor's lab.  Now there's a good one.  Sheldon Hawkes.  Former ME turned CSI.  He's handsome, could do the work, he's smart.  He likes teenagers and can mentor them because he does it on the side.  He could present a much wider view and do both law enforcement or medical students."

She nodded, smiling at that.  "I like that idea," she admitted, taking down his name.  "Anyone in Miami?"

"Calleigh's wonderful and single.  She might.  I know Eric's in a relationship he might not want broadcast.  You can ask."  She nodded, taking down their names too.  "I seriously wish I could help you, Miss Goodwin," Tony offered.  "It's just that I'd never be there for the kids and you'd have a lot of hoops to jump through.  I wouldn't mind mentoring if you needed me to as an outside source.  Because some of those kids just graduating usually need a swift kick in the ass.  I did."

She nodded.  "I'm thinking about that as well."  She smiled.  "Thank you, Mr. DiNozzo.  I'll let you know what my superiors say about the security and other issues you've brought up and let them know you've done a good bit of pimping others for me."  He nodded and smiled, shaking her hand.  "It was a pleasure meeting you as well, Special Agent Gibbs."  She shook his hand and he left too.  She leaned back, putting her boss on speaker phone.  "It's Goodwin."

"What''s going on?" he asked.

"Well, I talked with one of my final candidates and he brought up some issues.  He's a Special Agent at NCIS."

"Which is?"

"A federal investigative agency.  We'd have to jump through security hoops and he mostly does crime scene stuff."

"That's hot at the moment."

"Yes, but we wouldn't be allowed to tape any of it," she told him. "The tape told me they're military cops, Sean."  She picked up her water to sip.  "We'd have to pass background checks for everyone on the crew and all the people in the house."

"Which is a lot of work."

"The problem is, he's perfect.  He's been in a few departments before this, his words, and he's sweet and charismatic.  He did offer some alternatives. A few very interesting ones actually."  She looked at the list.  "It would be easier if we went with one of them."

"Did they send in tapes?"

"Not that I'm aware of.  One's an ME locally who turned into a CSI somehow.  He suggested two CSI down in Miami.  His boss and he both suggested we should probably got for a normal officer instead of a higher up because that's a higher position and the kid will have to go to the academy first.  That would give them the more grunt's eye view as I took it.  His boss suggested we look in Miami and Tony looked at him and said Horatio was going to scream at him."

"Interesting.  They've worked with Caine?"

"They have apparently.  Tony's got friends down there and in Taylor's lab up here."

"Think he could get my parking tickets fixed?"

"Probably not."  She smirked at his disgruntled sigh.  "Can I have permission to go talk to the local guy?  See if he'd be better?"

"Go ahead.  He sounds like he's got an interesting story.  He might be a good choice."

"Thank you, Sean."  She hung up and looked up the number for the crime lab online, finding his name in the PD directory.  She called it and got a receptionist.  "Hi, this is Ms. Goodwin at MTV.  I wanted to set up a time I could talk to CSI Sheldon Hawkes.  Is he around?"  She got connected to someone else.  "Who am I speaking with?"  She smiled.  "That's wonderful, Detective Taylor.  I'm Ms. Goodwin at MTV.  We're doing a series on mentoring young college students getting ready to graduate and your CSI Sheldon Hawkes was referred by one of our other choices since he thought he might not be such a good fit with his higher security job.  Is there a way I could set up a time to come in and interview him?"  She smiled and jotted that down.  "That's fine.  Thank you, Detective Taylor.  No, it was said he used to be an ME and now he was a CSI.  That he probably had a more interesting story.  That he didn't work the atrocious hours this other person did.  There was also less of a security clearance needed to deal with him.  Of course, just to talk to him about it, see if he's interested.  The person did note that he mentors now and then."  She smiled.  "Thank you, Detective.   You have a nice day and I'll be there later this afternoon."  She hung up and made a note in her book, then went to google his name.  His picture was promising....

***

Mac hung up and looked around then called Gibbs the normal way.  "Was it you, McGee, or Tony?" he asked.  "She said a security clearance and long hours, Gibbs. That only fits a few people I know and one of them is the most likely."  He listened to the story about how Kate had sent in the tape when Gibbs handed Tony the phone.  "You recommended Sheldon?"  He heard the reasons.  It was actually something Sheldon might like.  Then he heard how Gibbs had suggestion they go down to Horatio's domain.  "He's going to scream at him.  I'm going to be far away when Horatio screams at Gibbs."  He hung up and called Sheldon.  "Press everything before you come in today," he said quietly.  "You've got an interview this afternoon with someone from MTV.  I don't know.  Tony recommended you. Because they wanted him, Sheldon.  Can you imagine Tony on MTV?"  He smirked at the assertion he could.  "She'll be in today. I told her when your shift started. Please."  He hung up and took some tylenol, smiling when Danny brought him a new cup of coffee.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  It really was all Kate's fault, boss."

"I'm swearing at her mentally, Danny."

"Well, maybe Doc'll pick up some hot chicks and find someone nice."  He walked out smiling at that.  Sheldon didn't date enough.

Mac sipped his coffee, thinking how he wanted to watch Danny tell him that but to stay far, far out of range when it happened. Maybe he'd practice his scrying.

***

Speed stomped into the office, glaring at Horatio.  "Someone picked Tony to do a reality tv thing for MTV."

Horatio shuddered.  He hated working with the MTV staff during spring break.  "Why?"

"Something about Kate sending in a tape for him.  Mentoring college students.  They're trying to talk him out of it."

"I thought Tony had more sense."

"His director likes the idea.  He and Gibbs are going to try to talk them out of using him."

"That might be for the best.  His hours would drive them insane and we'd have to confiscate some things from his house.  Like his wand."  Speed shuddered at that thought.  "Let me know?"

"Sure.  Just make him stop thinking about it?"

"I will."  Horatio gave him a pat on the shoulder.  "Go grab your gear.  You've got first case today."  Speed nodded, walking off to do that.  He sent his own thoughts at Tony, getting put in the 'waiting until I'm able to hear them' bin he had set up somehow in his head.  He got down to work, not liking this idea at all.  Even if it would help those kids and millions of others who needed a dose of reality in their lives.

***

Tony flopped down behind his desk, covering his eyes.  "Boss, I'm sure Kate is very sorry and embarrassed wherever she may be at the moment."

"She could be," he agreed.  He hoped so.  "We'll see how it works out."  The director came over to them.  "We gave them a realistic view of the problems they'd have, sir."

"I wanted you to encourage them," he said firmly.

Tony looked at him.  "They still wouldn't be allowed to tape at scenes.  They still would have to all pass a background and security clearance check, including the crew and anyone there.  They'd never see me because I'm here all the time."

"We can arrange things."

"With some cases, I haven't made it home three, four days in a row, Director.  What are they going to do, wonder where I am?  Half the stuff we do can't be televised.  I did offer to mentor as an outside resources.  I offered a few wonderful alternatives who can also talk up their program or who would call me to talk up the program if the kid sounded interested. No one wants to see an agency that's understaffed and who are mostly workaholics."

"I wouldn't watch it," Ziva agreed dryly, looking at the new director.  "Besides, who wants to see Tony's life?  He watches too many movies to do much of anything."

"Plus he'd encourage them to date random thousands of women a year," McGee offered.

"Not even I'm that good, McGee," Tony said, glaring at him.  He looked at the director.  "We gave her an honest view of what problems she would run into so they could see if they're still interested."

"If you don't get it, you won't be here," he said firmly.

Tony stood up. "I was only on the final list, Director.  They still had to narrow it down to eight or ten out of twenty."  That got a harsh look.  "If that's the way you want it, I have money and I could be at home with a girl and a movie at the moment.  Then again, you'd have to replace me."

"No he won't.  You're not being fired for not accepting a burden like that," Gibbs said firmly.  "Because it would be, DiNozzo.  On all of us."  He glared at his boss, who huffed off.  "He just wants camera time."

"Probably true," Tony sighed, sitting down again.  He rubbed his face. "I'm really sorry if he fires me for such a stupid reason, boss.  Let me know if I can come back."

"I will.  Get back to work."

"On?"

"McGee, did we get anything new?"

"No.  I did hear that the one issue got switched back under duress and he was sent for psychological profiling to see if we should take advantage of that gift."

"Someone will want to," Tony agreed dryly.  He pulled up his computer and found a message from Sheldon.  "Someone's not happy I suggested him."

"Sheldon?"

"Yeah, and he actually used the word 'damn' so he's a bit pissed, boss."

"He can't get down here without us knowing."

"True.  Thankfully. I still think he'd be perfect."  He searched the rest.  "Why did I get an email from Monroe?"  He opened it and read it, then moaned and called Mac over the wider bond, reading it to him.  He had to know this was going on.  He heard Danny swear and Stella and Don keep him from going after her.  He forwarded it to Mac, as ordered and looked at his boss since he was being stared at.  "She wanted help with a personal matter that was destroying her unit, her words."

"Her personality?" Gibbs suggested.

"No, the relationship," he said quietly.  Gibbs shuddered.  "Don stopped Danny.  He's a bit of a hothead."

"Good.  Very good.   Send him to Speed?"

"Speed'll help," he offered dryly.  Ryan came off the elevator and he looked at him.  "Damn, long flight?" he teased.

"Speed and Horatio.  We've got a serious issue and we're not sure from what but we'd like your help."  He looked at Gibbs.  "We think someone's trying to destroy the lab.  We got subpoenaed onto a case we didn't handle.  We have no idea and we can't get the files at all.  Can you guys search?"  Tony nodded and took the stuff to search for him, handing over the federal file on it.  Ryan looked through it and groaned.  "Thank you.  Why did this go to non-felony?"

"Looks like the investigating agent didn't want to work with you guys."  He shrugged.  "Don't know why really," he noted dryly.  "Oh, tell Horatio MTV's looking to do a new Real World series that has college students and mentors.  They might come looking at the officers to do that.  Gibbs suggested it, not me."

"Sure.  Is that why Speed came in ranting?"

"Yup.  Kate sent in a tape of me," Tony said dryly.  "Oh, ask him if he's got any openings.  My director thinks he's going to fire me if I don't get it and take it."

"Sure," he said dryly.  "You could sue for that I'm sure."  He walked off, taking the portkey back to the hidden area Speed had set it for. He glanced around then headed back into the station, handing Horatio the file. "He said...."

"I heard from Speed.  I'll get Jethro later, Ryan.  Thank you."

"Welcome.  That's what Tony found, Horatio.  I hope it helps."  He walked off, still concerned.  Something about this warrant situation was not right.

***

Mac looked up when Lindsey finally came in, looking her over.  "Close the door."  She looked a bit scared but did that.  "Thank you."  He let out a mental sigh.  "Lindsey, I've heard you have problems with some people around the office.  The proper procedure is to come to myself or Stella when you have those.  Not go around talking to the patrol officers or anyone else."

"I didn't."

"You did, Lindsey.  Stella overheard you last night."  Her face fell.  "Now, what exactly is your problem?"

"It's unnatural!" she complained.

"What is?"

"There being a trio in this building!  It's not right!"  She glared at him.  "Especially since it's the boss, one of his employees, and another detective."

Mac raised an eyebrow.  "We do keep it out of the office, Lindsey, and it has never harmed anything work related," he noted calmly.

"I heard how you kept it out of the office, Mac."

"That was a momentary aberration and I've since chastised them for it.  They were looking out for me."  She made a scoffing sound.  "At that time I hadn't slept in three days due to a  case if you want me to be perfectly honestly, Lindsey.  They helped me so I got some sleep."  She gave him a horrified look.  "Again, not like you think.  Don gives incredible neck massages."  He watched her face turn puce.  It wasn't a good color on her.  "Now," he said quietly.  "What I do in my off hours is none of your business unless I include you.  The same as what the others do off duty is nothing to concern you unless it's illegal, at which time you're to come tell me immediately, or they ask you to take part in it."  Sheldon walked up and knocked.  "Give me a few."

"I would but there's a fussing cult member here for Don," he called.

Mac stood up.  "Lindsey, what I do in my private hours has nothing to do with my job.  I'm sorry if my relationship upsets you.  I'll let you work with Sheldon and Stella more often if you would prefer."  He walked off, going to stop this new cult member.  It was one he didn't know.  He sent a mental snapshot of him to Don, getting back that he was from Florida, down in Orlando.  "What seems to be the problem?" he asked, staring at him.  The man's eyes widened.  "Yes?"

"The Father, where is he?" he demanded.

"On a scene with Stella and Danny."  The man nodded at that, smirking some.  "Is there something I can help you with?  I'm Detective Taylor."

"His second.  You will do."  He handed him a folder.  "The one we were supposed to tell is blocked to us by an officious man."

Mac looked at the file then at him. "I'll get it to Horatio myself.  Would you consent to being interviewed by him?"

"I would.  I want that one gone and most of his crimes are in Dade county."  Mac nodded, waving a hand.  "Thank you for this kindness.  The other one did not understand."

"Sheldon's not very comfortable with your faith," he offered quietly, walking him back to his office.  "Lindsey, this is a member of Don's group," he said in greeting.  He sat behind his desk, calling Horatio.  "It's Mac.  One of the cult members down there was blocked from giving you information on crimes in your county.  He's here right now, I've got the folder.  Please.  Eric would be fine, Horatio.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "He'll send his person up here."  The man pulled the handle of his wand and Mac nodded so he pushed it back up his sleeve.  "Eric's already fairly local so it won't be too long before he's here.  Please sit.  Lindsey?"  She walked off in a huff.  "I'm sorry about the earlier problems."

"She is but a woman and that one Sheldon doesn't understand.  I've heard the Protector tries to explain it but he is a man of science, not of faith."

Mac nodded.  "That he is. Sheldon, interview," he called to remind him, getting a hand wave.  He smiled at him.  "He's been suggested to mentor some people on a new reality show about college students getting ready to graduate."

"Congratulate him for me, secondary protector.  It is a wise man who can mentor others well."  He stood up when Eric walked in, staring at him.  "I have seen you.  You came with the renewed one when we had the problem member."

"I did," Eric agreed.  "Let's talk about what the current problem is."  Mac handed over the file.  "Thank you."  He sat down with him, letting Mac give them the office alone so they could talk.  "You have proof of this?"

"We have it on tape in two cases and we have one of the children in custody away from the disgusting beings who were selling her," he offered quietly. "She has been tended and is healing among our girl children."

"That's good, I can accept that.  We'll need to get her medical records and statements from her."

"Of course.  I would have come more directly but I was blocked by an officious toad.  He nearly became one for life."

Eric looked at him. "Was his name Stetler?"  The man nodded.  "Don't feel bad, I turned him into a fish once."  That got a small smile.  "He is a toad.  If he keeps bugging Horatio, I'll set him up a very nice tank."  That got a brighter smile.  "We protect the boss since he protects us."  He got back to work over the evidence, nodding.  "I'll bring this to Horatio if you'll bring the child and those records to us," he assured him.

"I will do so this afternoon."  That got a smile and Eric shook his hand.  "As I am one with the skills, where can I apparate home?"

"We usually use the bathroom around here," Sheldon offered from the doorway.  "I'm sorry I didn't understand."

"That is fine. Many outside our faith don't understand such matters.  Even the Father now and then has to appear fallible since he hasn't fully ascended yet."  He smiled at him.  "Do not worry, we know not all are enlightened."

"Thank you.  This way, we can make sure you've got a clear area to apparate from," he offered quietly. "Eric?"

"I've got a portkey home."  He helped the older man up and smiled at him.  "When should I tell Horatio you'll be there?"

"I can probably be there by three.  The girl children are separated from us so they're not shown the miserableness for how they were born."  That got a nod and they walked out, heading with Sheldon to the bathroom, where they both disappeared once everyone was gone.

Eric walked into the station and ran into his nemesis.  "You kept someone from reporting child molestation and homicide charges to Horatio.  Do you realize this?"  He pushed the button and let the scanner read his pass, seeing the unamused look.  He waved the folder.  "They have proof and you kept us from investigating."  He got on and headed up to the lab, finding Speed but no one else. "Everyone else out?"

"At the moment, why?"

"Tell Horatio the cult member has proof of child selling, possibly abduction, child molestation, and homicide on some women here in the county and some just outside.  He'll be here with the child and her medical records about three.  Also tell him Stetler blocked him from telling us directly."

Speed passed that on and winced. "He's mentally swearing but he said he'll be here.  Anything conclusive just from that?"  Eric handed over the file, letting him flip through the pictures.  "That's enough for me to arrest him on but we'll need an airtight case."  He handed it back.  "That way he pleads for his life instead of death without talking about the cult."  Eric smirked and nodded.  "It go okay?"

"It went fine.  He called Stetler a toad.  I said I was more than willing to set up a nice tank for him and told him he became a fish once."  Speed snickered and nodded, glancing out in the hall before getting back to work.  Eric put that file aside and grabbed his labcoat and some gloves, coming over to help since he wasn't on an open case until that one came in.  Stetler stormed in a few minutes later.  "What do you want now?"

"Where did that evidence come from?"

"A male-only cult that was weeding out bad members," Speed said patiently.  "We've gotten a few others of them.  They're very nice folk, but they think an NYPD officer we know is their Father and Patron Saint."  He shrugged and didn't even bother to look up.  "He told them to send all the bad members to the local police departments so they could be arrested."

"Are there other children?" he demanded.

"It's one person out of the whole group," Eric said impatiently, glaring at him. "That's why they turned him over.  They've been tracking him because they came to us with their concerns about him before.  Horatio told them what to get and to bring it back to us.  They did until you tried to block them.  Since there's a copy of the payment to the child's parents in there, they found her when he hurt her and took her in.  They got her medical attention and put her with the other girl children, which he said are kept away from the rest of them so they don't know how being born female made them inferior."  Stetler gaped in horror.  "They're bringing her in today and if you get in his way this time, I'll set you up a very nice tank."  The man turned and huffed off.  Speed grabbed his chin and made him look at him.  He calmed himself down.  "Sorry," he said once he was more calm.

"No, that's fine.  We don't want any slips, Eric."  He nodded at that, getting back to work.  "Besides, I can turn him into something much more interesting than a toad."  Eric laughed and nodded, smirking at him before he looked in his microscope.  He heard Tony's comment and shook his head, sending back a 'too fussy to take care of'.  Danny offered something and it was a better suggestion.  Tony seconded that one.  "Want a pet?"

"Horatio might get very mad at you," Ryan offered as he came in.  "You're both going to kill me."

"Why?" Eric offered.

"Because we just had someone drive through the front of the station and get out screaming he had killed someone who was in his trunk.  He's not very lucid and there's no body in his trunk."

"What sort of car was he driving?" Speed complained.  "There's stairs."

"A jeep."  They just nodded and Eric went down to help him with that one.  "Sorry, I was pulling in when I saw him crash."

"That's fine," Eric promised, regloving and grabbing a scene kit to go with him.  He found the guy in handcuffs on his knees.  "Interrogation with him, guys," he ordered.  "Ryan, go see if he's got more than one car?"  Ryan nodded, going to do that while Eric started to process the trunk, just in case.

Ryan came out with his kit.  "He's got two more at home.  I'm heading to his house to check.  He said they're both there."

"Sure.  Let me know," he agreed.  "Tell Horatio about the office yet?"

"No, I'm scared to tell him someone crashed into the building on purpose."  He headed off, taking one of the official hummers.

Eric considered calling him then looked at the guards.  "Someone call dispatch and tell them to tell Horatio?  I'm not that brave either."  They shuddered.  "At least they'll be far away.  Or someone call whichever detective he's with."  He got back to work.  He wasn't finding any spots of blood with the light and filter in the trunk.  Yet.  Auto detail was going to have fun getting the car out though.  They couldn't get a wrecker up the stairs.

***

Frank hung up a few minutes later and looked at everyone.  "Um, Horatio?"  He looked over, raising an eyebrow.  "Can we speak?"

"What happened?"

"Well...."  He moved closer.  Then he thought better of it and moved closer to Calleigh.  He wouldn't zap her or whatever.  "We just had someone drive into the front of the building.  He apparently got out screaming he had killed the guy in his trunk.  There wasn't a guy in that trunk.  The officer who called said Delko had the jeep in the front of the building and Wolfe went to check his other cars."

Horatio took off his sunglasses to pinch the bridge of his nose.  "Define into the front of the building, Francis," he demanded, looking at him, staring him down.

"Well...."  He backed up, he would get hit and so would Calleigh.  He liked her too much to do that to her.  "He said the guy had a jeep and it was a mess."

Horatio turned and walked off before he hexed someone.

Calleigh looked at him, then at Horatio, who went to swear as far as she knew.  She called Eric.  "Define into the front of the building, Eric?"  She listened to his description of the hood being next to the elevator.  "Um, people, we'll need to take the back way in," she announced.  "The whole front lobby is blocked off."  She hung up.  She looked at Frank.  "His jeep's hood is next to the further elevator button.  He said Ryan was pulling in when he crashed."

"Good," he said blandly, then he shuddered.  "I'm glad I don't have that paperwork."  Alexx pulled up.  "Let me guess, you heard?"

"And saw," she agreed dryly.  "Horatio, honey, the Chief said you don't have to fill out the paperwork to have the lobby rebuilt."  He groaned. "I've got some Tylenol in the glovebox, sugar.  Take some before you go back there."

He looked at her.  "How bad is it?" he asked quietly.

"His jeep is blocking elevators two and three.  They shut them down already."  He groaned and headed for his hummer.  "They've got it, Horatio."

"I need to go back there anyway," he said, sounding snappish.  Someone was going to be tortured for this.  He called Ryan.  "Anything yet on this person?"  He listened to him having to stop to investigate a wreck on the way.  "Why?"  He nodded at the 'paramedics flagged him down' answer.  "Was he the body?"  He slumped and leaned on his steering wheel.  "I'll be back there soon.  Send Eric the pictures so he can ask."  He hung up and started the engine, heading back to work.  He had to pass by the wreck and moaned at the mangled body in the trunk.  He pulled in and winced at the large panels of glass that were laying broken around his building.  He walked over to where Eric was coming back.  "Was that him?"

"No, but Ryan's going to have that one towed since it looks like a hit and run," he offered.  "He did a preliminary there and then he called officers to wait on Alexx while he went to check the guy's home."  He shrugged. "I don't know, H.  He's got the bugs crawling issue going on at the moment.  He's on his way down."

"Wonderful.  That other file?"

"In with Speed.  I already told Stetler he messed up that way."  Horatio nodded, sliding around the car to head up the stairs.  He could use the walk at the moment.  Eric shivered and got back to work.  Speed would get him calmed down.  Hopefully.

Horatio walked into Speed's lab, getting a look.  "Please tell me you have something good for me?"

"Eric's folder or on my case?  My case, not yet.  I'm going over the photos looking for the idea I had.  Eric's folder?  Yeah.  A lot.  I even kept us from getting a new pet toad, but Danny thought a baby mutant alligator would be cuter."

Horatio shook his head and took the folder to look at.  Then he looked at the photos.  "Why are there astrological symbols drawn in the blood?"  He pointed at one and Speed hit himself on the head, going to blow that part of the image up.  Horatio looked over this folder, nodding at it.  It was well documented already.  He got a page from Ryan saying he had found the body in the open trunk of one of the guy's other cars and his wife was protesting it wasn't legal for him to search without a warrant. A second year law student.  He assured Ryan it was since the man had told him where the body was and it was in the open if the trunk had been open and the garage door as well.  He offered that she had opened the garage door and had seen the body then started to protest on her husband's behalf.  He had advised her to buy a better lawyer, one who had already graduated and passed the bar.  That did get a smile from him.  It was appropriately mean.  "You've done good teaching Ryan how to be sarcastic," he offered quietly, letting him see the text messages.

Speed smiled. "I'm so proud."  He texted that to Ryan and got back a snort.  Then he texted the fact there was a body to Eric and to watch out for the law student.

***

Horatio walked up to where the cult leader was waiting, smiling and nodding at him.  "I'm sorry you had such trouble getting to us.  It won't happen again.  Shall we go inside?"

"We should and I brought him.  He's presently very uncomfortable.  I let the child hold the switch to the shock collar he's wearing.  It was making her feel better."

Horatio nodded.  "That's reasonable," he decided, going to get her and let the officers arrest the other guy.  She giggled and shocked him again, making him smile.  "Are you having fun?"

"He hurt me.  He's a bad man," she said simply.  "He should hurt like I did."

"I agree.  We'll make sure he does in jail, young lady.  Now, let's go talk about how he hurt you, all right?"  She nodded and held up her arms.  "Want carried?"

"Walking still hurts."  She smiled at the head of the cult when he picked her up.  "Thank you, Pappa."  She stroked Horatio's hair.  "You have pretty hair."

"Thank you.  I like yours as well."  She smiled and ran a hand over her pigtails, letting her be carried inside.  "Watch for glass.  We had someone drive in earlier."

"I saw on the news," he admitted.  He gave him a look.  "Was he scared and confessing?"

"He was.  Unfortunately he left the body at home.  We still had to retrieve it."  He hit the button for the elevator and used his pass on it, getting a smile from the guard.  "Should you see Stetler in the next hour, page me."  That got a nod and a note made.  They all got into the elevator again and the guard giggled when the suspect screamed in pain.  "I think that's enough for now.  He'll get punished worse later."

She handed over the remote.  "If you promise he won't be able to walk either."

"Oh, I'm sure he won't," he promised.  He walked her out of the elevator and into an interrogation room, letting the officers put the guy in another one.  He sat down with the file once Speed brought it in with a lollipop for her.  "Thank you, Speed."

"Not an issue."  He smiled at her and winked.  "Some year soon there's going to be a huge surprise in your life."  She smiled at that and nodded eagerly.  "Now, talk with Horatio, tell him what happened.  Tell him the truth, okay?"  She nodded.  "Good girl."  He left, going to work on the other guy since Eric was off with the guy's house from this morning.  He stepped in and the prisoner stared in horror.  "Detective Taylor made sure the information got to those of us who are loyal to Don," he said calmly.  "As he is."  He sat across from him, staring at him.  "Would you like to give me your side of the story?  We did Miranda him, right?" he asked the officers in there with him.  They nodded.  "Thank you.  Start a tape if you haven't."

"We did, Speed, just to make sure we got his Miranda and agreement on record," one offered.

"I figured with the shock collar he was wearing when he came in and the little girl who said it hurt her to walk, there was a good reason."

"Oh, there is," Speed agreed.  "Well?" he demanded, staring the cult member down.

"They are inferior!" he sneered.  "They're female and made only for use.  Even the Father uses them thus."

"No he doesn't.  I know the officer you call Father and he doesn't use women, even when he was seeing women socially."  The officers gaped.  "Remember a few months back when we had the Cult of Flack in here?  He's another purged member."  That got some evil smirks.  "Then again, Don also has two male lovers and one who's special."  He looked at the suspect.  "Do you think he would use that one like this?"  He put a picture he had taken from the file down in front of him and pushed it over.  "Who was she?"

"Some nameless woman," he spat.  "She is there only to be used and then tossed away so we can cleanse ourselves afterward."

"If you have to clean yourself afterward, you're doing something wrong," Speed noted dryly.  Horatio walked in and got the picture, walking it off.  "Something to do with the young lady in the other room?"

"She knows her place," he said smugly, relaxing.  He suddenly screamed and grabbed his neck.

"Huh.  The kid must've gotten the collar again," Frank said from the doorway.  "Pity.  Boys, maybe we should figure out how to open it?"

"We can't, sir, it's padlocked," one offered with a shrug and a grin.  "I can't pick locks and I don't know who can."

"Don't look at me," Speed offered.  "Frank, anything?"

"Oh, lots and lots of stuff.  Those were just hints of the evidence they had.  When Stetler wouldn't let them through, they kept gathering it while they figured out how to get hold of you guys.  Horatio was thinking about arresting him as an accomplice to multiple homicides."  He walked in.  "Boys, as of this moment, he's to be booked on three counts of brutal homicide and one count of buying a child to rape her."  That got a nod and they walked him off.  "More to come later," he called after them.

"The Father will protect me!" he screamed, struggling.

Speed called Don, who brought his lunch down and came off the elevators.  "Don?  Would you like to refute that?"

Don looked at his cult member and the officers turned him around, watching his former person as he fell to his knees while he chewed on his sandwich.  "No one of my chosen do that to women.  That is not my way," he said coolly, walking closer.  "Somewhere your mind warped what I said."  He tipped the guy's chin up with his foot.  Then he ate another bite, letting him see the hate and derision he had for him.  He swallowed then shook his head.  "You're fucked. I told them to purge the members hurting women.  Disliking them is fine, hurting them is not."

"He hurt a child too," Frank offered.  "At least once."  He handed over the file he had gotten from Horatio.

Don looked at it, then finished his sandwich, handing it back.  He chewed, swallowed, then shook his head.  "You're not one of mine.  I would never allow that.  Consider yourself excommunicated and outcast."  The man started to wail.  "I protect children, all children.  You knew that.  The same as you knew the order came down to not harm another woman.  You knew better.  Maybe next go-round you'll have learned better with how your life goes in prison."  The man gave him a begging look.  "Fat chance.  You hurt a child.  An innocent."

"She's been using the shock collar," Frank offered, enjoying this.

"Good.  That means he tainted her so she'll damage others.  Probably men."  The man gave him a horrified look and stood up, still slumped.  "Me and mine all protect children.  Any child is safe from all of us.  You broke orders knowing that.  I hope like hell they tell the guys on your block what you did."  He turned his back on him, looking at Frank.  "Horatio need help with him?"

"No, he's got it.  The girl's giving a statement on camera.  We've got her medical records.  You might wanna tell whoever helped this morning that Stetler may be charged since he hindered stopping him."  The man shrieked and lunged but the officers caught him just after Don hit him.  "Nice," Frank offered.

"Thank you.  Most of the cult I like.  They're pretty nice guys and I still have moments of confusion now and then about the faith.  I did make it very clear when it was brought to my attention that some of them were hurting women that they were to stop or be stopped.  Being stopped means a worse end to this life cycle."  The man was drug off babbling and shrieking. "Shut up!" Don yelled.  He quit babbling and just gave him a hurt look.  "You did it and I told you not to.  Pay for it.  Learn better.  Come back next time."  The man bowed his head and started to cry, nodding.  He looked at the curious looking officers.  "To them I'm the newest incarnation of their Father and Patron Saint."  He shrugged. "They're mostly nice guys except for a few."  He looked down when someone tugged on his hand. "Hi."

"Hi, Father."  He squatted down to be on her level, letting her hug him.  "Thank you for adopting me into the family."

"You're welcome, Precious.  Now, did you tell Horatio how he came to have you?  That way he can stop them too?"  She smiled and went to do that.  He looked at the leader down here. "Protect her.  She's special."

"As I was informed," he assured him, nodding at his actions.  "It was very just."

"Thank you.  Even I get confused now and then."

"It is still new to you.  You're still awakening memories from your last incarnations."  He went back into the room with the girl, shutting the door.

Frank looked at him.  "Tell me this isn't always like this?"

He stepped closer so he could hiss at him.  "It's a cursebreaker thing, Frank."  That just got a nod. "Ask Speed."

"He usually refers me to Horatio."

"Or him," he offered with a grin.  "Most of them are really nice guys.  The one in New York I deal with all the time?  He's a great guy.  Love him to death.  He's in booking at my station.  He comes to ask me fashion advice too."  He grinned. "They ask Tony to take them shopping for suits.  We get invited over for dinner all the time.  It's a nice set of guys who believe with everything in them that I'm their patron saint."

"At least you're weeding out the bad ones."

"Yup, first thing."  That got a smile. "The group in LA nearly got decimated from it.  They had about forty members and thirty-three got busted for crimes against women.  There's been very few who hurt children.  Then again they went to ask my mother for baby pictures.  They write hymns about me, Frank."  That got a wicked grin.  "Seriously.  Speed knows the website."  Speed nodded from where he was standing.  "They've got a new one."

"I heard.  One of the guys sent me an audio file.  It was pretty and lyrical."

"It was.  I liked that one."  He walked over there and leaned in.  "Tell whoever wrote the new hymn I liked it a lot.  It was very nice and lyrical.  Easy on the ears and gentle."  He grinned at the girl.  "Make sure we hear if she needs stuff for school."  That got a nod and he nodded at Horatio.  "Need me again?"

"Not yet, Don.  Thank you."  Don just grinned and closed the door, heading off, disappearing from the elevator.

"Where do I apply to get my own cult?" one officer complained.

"First you become a detective, then you show that you're one of the great ones," Speed said, looking deadly serious.  "Then there's a form Horatio has.  Frank turned down his chance when he was still young and pretty."  The officer walked off grumbling.

"Actually, I think I missed that offer," Frank teased back.  "You're so bad," he mouthed.  Speed just smirked and nodded, heading off to go back to his case.  Horatio came out with amended charges.  "He's already in booking waiting on the rest of them."

"Thank you, Frank."  He walked off, finding one officer with a detective's test study guide.  "Good luck with that," he offered.

"Thank you, sir.  How long after I pass the test and get my gold shield do I have to prove I'm one of the better detectives so I can get the paperwork to start my own cult?"

Horatio looked at him.  "At least five years."  He walked off mentally berating Speed.  That was his style.  Speed cackled.   He'd let the guy's supervisor straighten him out someday.  Unless he was that dumb and then he was going to be transferred quickly.  Before he got a headache from him.  He handed over the amended list of charges, getting a nod from the booking sergeant.  The rest of that form was filled out and they processed him.  Horatio was even nice enough to take off the shock collar after setting it off again with his wand, which was up his coat sleeve.

***

Speed landed at Danny's place, looking at him.  "No one's told the poor guy he can't have a cult yet."

Mac looked at him.  "Horatio told me what you told him.  He does know it's not automatic approval?"

"He does," he agreed.  "He also knows he has to come up with a basis for them worshiping him.  I made the rules list for him when he asked. Told him it was unwritten but that I'd print it out as I remember it."  He flopped down beside him and looked at him. "Are you over your jealous snit?"

"I am.  I know you can't really steal Danny from me, Speed.

"Unless you treat him bad then he's mine and he'll be coming to Miami permanently."  Mac growled at that.  "Tough.  Treat my boy right.  I'm as close as you'll get to a threatening family member.  Tony will let it go unsaid but he'll be there if you hurt him and he'll get you in the middle of the night.  Like he did his girlfriend when she cheated on him once.  It wasn't pretty and Danny sniffled on him for the four days she was in the infirmary."  Mac shuddered at that.  "Understood?"

"Understood.  I'd never hurt them."

Don walked in and slammed the door.  "The local guy said I should have more memories by now.  I told him I was too tired to do anything serious like meditation to find them.  He asked my boss if I could have a few days off."

"Did you get them?" Speed asked.

He nodded. "I did.  She likes my cult too."   He flopped down next to Speed, giving him a hug.  "Did you tell him how to get his own?"

"I did. I even typed the unwritten rules for him."  Horatio and Eric appeared.  "Hi."

"Home, Speed. You need spanked for that," Eric said dryly, pointing toward Miami.  "Now."

Speed grinned sweetly. "I was behaving."

"I doubt it," Horatio warned.  "Speaking of, we seem to have a new alligator?" he asked dryly.  "Would someone like to explain why we have an albino alligator?"

"No," he and Eric said in unison.

"Should I spank you two or you two and Ryan?" he asked blandly.

"Marisol," Eric said sheepishly.  "She went off on him."  He shrugged.  "Taps thought he was cute and he was feeding him chunks of chicken."

Horatio looked at him.  "That is not cute, Eric."  He just grinned brightly.  "Home, now, both of you."  Speed disappeared.  He sent Eric home then looked at Mac and Don.  "Can I come up here for a vacation?"

"Gibbs and I suggested we send all the young ones to one city and then me, you, and him all go to another one for a vacation from them," Mac reminded him.  "You thought it was a bad idea."

"Did Sheldon get onto Tony's spot on the show?" Don asked.

Mac moaned and nodded. "He did."

"Don, you and the other young ones are more than welcome to Miami all next week.  Mac, Gibbs, and I will be up here."  Don smirked at that. "I'll make sure it's all right."   He went to DC to tell that to Gibbs, getting a moan from Tony for that idea.  Then he went home to spank Eric and Speed for encouraging Marisol to turn Rick Stetler into an albino alligator with very few teeth.   Even if he did have a nice habitat set up so he was comfortable.  He also made Eric call Yelina to tell her since they were dating.

He knew the unholy trio were making plans over their special bond on how to party in his city, but he wouldn't have to deal with it.  He'd be hiding with Mac in New York.  Gibbs would be a day late but they didn't mind.  Sometimes paperwork got in the way.

A Family Affair

Horatio looked at the evidence they had been able to gather about the case that was getting his lab subpoenaed.  Since it hadn't been their case they'd have to hunt and search out evidence to figure out what was going on, and the hints he was getting was not making him happy.  He got up and went to talk to Speed, pulling him into an unoccupied lab.  "Speed, can you do what Mac did and check a grave?"

"No."  He shook his head.  "I have no idea what he was doing.  I can ask Danny.  Why?"

"Something about this trial is not sitting well with me.  I need to check a few graves."

"You can't think...."

"I can think," he said quietly, knowing what he was thinking from a lot of practice.  "Please?"

Speed called Danny to check, shaking his head.  "He doesn't have a clue.  He can get Mac down to do it for you."

"Do it tonight.  Quietly."

"Got it."  He repeated that and nodded. "Danny said he said okay."

"Thank you."  He went back to his office.  Something was not adding up about this case and it was not going to make him a happy person.

***

Danny coughed and looked at Mac across the lab.  "Heard from Speed this morning," he said casually.  Mac looked at him.  "You know that thing that you did before the meeting?"

"Which meeting?" Stella asked.

Danny looked at her.  "We're not going there."  She glared at him.  "Speed said so," he mouthed and she shrugged, turning back around.  He looked at Mac then cracked his neck with a sigh.  Mac nodded at that.  "He needs someone ta deal with that matter tonight.  After work."

"Why?"

"Not a clue."

"Okay.  I can do that.  I'm trusting one of you to tell me why later."

Danny shrugged.  "Ask the man in person.  He wanted a meeting."

"I can do that later."  He sent a quiet thought at him, getting a 'not now, in person' and left it there because Horatio sounded like he was stressed.  So Mac went through the day wondering what was going on.  He knew Danny and Tony were both helping the lab in Miami with some sort of legal problem.  He caught Danny at lunch.  "That legal issue is what?"

"They're being called in on a case they never handled."

"Why?"

"We're not sure.  It's something they should have but they didn't.  It's starting to look like a power play, possibly about Speed.  Ryan's worried sick at the moment," he said quietly.

"What do they know?"

"Almost nothing.  They managed to find what the case was about, some minor facts.  Nothing substantial about why they want the lab and Horatio specifically.  Or Ryan specifically.  We're not sure which they're targeting. He's massively upset though.  He's gotten more anal retentive.  Even Scrubby is complaining," he said, glancing around then back at Mac.  Mac simply nodded.  "So he needs silence on this, Mac.  Something huge is going on and we're not sure what."

"Okay, I can handle that," he agreed, smiling at him.  "Who am I checking?"

"I don't know," he admitted.  "Speed's got ideas but he said with Horatio's state of mind it was better not to ask until we had a better idea."

"That's fine. I understand that.  I'll go early if I can."

"One problem with that.  You've got that budget meeting."

Mac moaned and nodded. "We'll figure it out."

"You told Stella you had ta go this time.  That you'd already pissed him off by havin' ta cancel due to cases."

"Point."  He walked off, stopping to get some juice on the way for lunch.

"Eat more'n that," he called after him.  "Or else I'm telling Stella!"  Mac sent him a dirty thought, and definitely not the sort he liked.  Danny heard Tony and Speed snicker at that, telling them why.  Then he got to smack Tony's mind for calling him a mother hen.  He was no one's mother and he was staying that way!

***

Horatio looked up as a familiar figure walked into his office under a cloaking spell.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  I figured you didn't want everyone to know."  He sat down across from him.  "Tell me where and I'll go, then we'll talk."  A slip of paper was passed over and he took it, then got up with a nod and headed off with a pop.

Horatio finished off what he was supposed to be doing, feeling Mac working some light magic through the bond.  Then he felt the answer.  He knew it.  He finished one last thing then got up and headed out to find him.   He found him at the grave, then looked at him.  "No?"

"No body," he agreed quietly, glancing around.  He had let the cloaking drop so he could do this.  "Or the other ones nearby."  He looked at him.  "You really should pull up Speed's headstone.  It's bad luck."

"He said he wants it there."  He gave a small shrug and sighed, shaking his head.  "We all encouraged that one but he said it could stay."  He moved closer.  "Who else did you check, Mac?"  He pointed at another one.  "Any idea how?"

"No.  There's blood of his but no body in there."  He glanced around again.  "We're under surveillance."

"I know who's doing it and I believe they're behind this suit as well."  He looked at him.

"Track him, Horatio.  Something's seriously wrong."

"Then what?"

"Then, we make plans.  Remember, we're not alone.  We have other sneaky people with us.  Including Gibbs."  Horatio smirked at that and walked off, letting Mac do whatever he wanted.  "Hey, Horatio, Danny said Ryan's worried?"

Horatio looked at him.  "He is?"

"He said even his helper's worried and fussing."

"I'll check on him.  Thank you, Mac."

"Anytime.  You know we're stronger together, Horatio.  It took nearly forever for me to learn that.  Don't be that stubborn."  He smiled and walked off in another direction, heading to get dinner.  He needed something decent for dinner since he had missed lunch.  Not that he'd tell Danny that.  He'd nag again.  He got an 'I told you so' from Danny and Stella both and sighed.  Sometimes the bond was a bad thing and others it was a good idea.  But right now, he needed time to just be Mac.

Horatio went to Ryan's house.  He stared at the windows for a minute.  One was open and he could smell the bleach already.  He walked up the stairs and knocked, making the house elf squeak when she saw him.  "Scrubby, where's Ryan?"

"Cleaning the open apartment next door, Horatio sir.  Manager asked him to.  Scrubby offered but Master Ryan is being fussy human and worried so he use stinky stuff again."

"Thank you."  He went over there, going to stop him.  "Mr. Wolfe."  Ryan flinched and looked up at him.  "We should talk."

"Why?"

"Nothing you did brought this on."

Ryan dropped the scrub brush and looked at him.  "Prove it."

"It's about my brother, Ryan."  He walked in and opened another window, then pulled Ryan out into the hallway, glancing around before Ryan sighed and put up a shield.  "Thank you.  You are better at that than I am."

"What's going on?"

"You've heard rumors about my brother?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah.  We all have.  I figured some of what I heard was rumors and blown up and some wasn't.  I don't care what your brother did or didn't do, Horatio."

"Good, because he's not dead."  Ryan blinked and had to lean against a wall.  He put the shield back up for them.  "No one but you and I know this.  This was a federal sting."  Ryan nodded slowly.  "He's not in his casket.  Neither is John Hagen."

"We're sure?" he asked, strengthening the shield since he heard his neighbor moving around.

"I had Mac check," he admitted.  "He knows how."

"Then I'll start working on a finding or scrying for Hagen and your brother.  Damn it, this is the time I could use Willow if she wasn't a flake half the time."

"Yes, but we have others who know how to do such things.  Including Tony and Danny," he reminded him quietly. "Above all else, this must be kept absolutely quiet."

"I agree.   It has to be."  He straightened up, looking at him.  "If I can get something of theirs...  How would I get something of Hagen's?"

"Ask Calleigh."

"But, with that restriction...  I can't memory wipe her, Horatio.  She doesn't do well under them."

Horatio smirked.  "Which means you tried."

"Twice now.  She caught me doing something semi-ethical magically to check on someone else."

"Really?" he asked, smirking just a bit.  Ryan grinned.  "You'd tell me?"

"I can't tell you.  He made me promise."

"Which means it was Eric checking on his sister."

"You bet."  He shook his head.  "She's at a plateau.  I'm not sure what we can do to help.  I'm not a healer."

"I know, Ryan.  We'll do what we can to help."  He smiled at him.  "Start tonight.  I'll get something from Calleigh.  And from my brother."

"Your nephew's blood, Horatio.  It's the best and easiest."

"Agreed."  Horatio lowered the shield and Ryan lowered his.  "Bleach can lead to burnt lungs, Ryan.  You should be using a respirator with as much as you're using in there.  We don't have time to have you sick."  He walked off.

"I want invited to the next fun game."

"Agreed.  Not a problem."  He smiled as he walked outside, heading to see Calleigh first.  He tapped on her door, getting a confused looking blonde woman.  "We need to talk," he said quietly.  She let him into the house.  "Calleigh...."  He looked at her, frowning a bit.  "There's an anomaly."

"With?"

"John's grave."  She sat down, staring at him.  "We're very sure he's not alive," he offered.  "We're just not sure where he's actually buried.  I need something of his to compare so we can find the body."  She got up and went to get something, bringing it back.  "What's this?"

"He licked the envelope.  I want the letter back."

"I can do that."  He stroked her cheek, staring down at her.  "It'll be fine.  I promise it will be."

"What's going on?"  He continued to stare.  "You promised us when we got Speed back that you were going to trust us, Horatio.  We're too damn close not to trust with the bigger things."

"The court case has to do with Ray," he said quietly.  She gave him a helpless look.  "We're handling it. That's how we found out."  She nodded, sitting down again. "I'll get this back to you as soon as I can, Calleigh."

"Are you going to do whatever?"

"Ryan is.  That's part of his school of influence.  We'll be watching over his shoulder."  She nodded and he left, going to store that in a bag.  Then he went to talk to his sister-in-law.  He found his nephew alone and sighed.  "Raymond."  His nephew looked over.  "We need to talk."

"Sure, Uncle Horatio.  Come see what I've been doing."  He led him back to his room, showing him the illusions of posters on his walls.  "Am I in trouble?"

"No.  But I need something."  He looked at him, then listened to the rest of the house.

"She's getting groceries."

"Thank you."  He sat him down.  "We've found what we think is your father's DNA somewhere it shouldn't be."

"Another half-sister?"

"No.  Nothing like that, that I know of," he promised.  Ray relaxed again.  "But I need something to compare it to."

"So you need my DNA to compare?"

"Both ours."

"Okay, what do you need?  Cheek swab?"

"I'm having Ryan check, Ray."

"Gotcha.  Blood."  He got under his bed and pulled out a small trunk, pulling it up and onto his bed.  He pulled out a small altar set and set it on his desk, praying to it. Then he picked up the dagger and made a small cut up his under-forearm.  He gathered it into the small gold plate, then handed it over.  Horatio smiled and sealed it properly.  "That enough?"

"Perfect, Ray. Thank you.  Need me to do the healing spell?"

"If you do, it can warp the blood."  He stood up and grabbed a bandage to wrap it up.  "You'll tell me?"

"I will.  Once I know."

"Before my mother?"

"If I can," he promised, patting him on the head.  Ray smiled and nodded. "Thank you.  You're becoming a great man."  He walked out, finding Yelina in the driveway.  She looked at the plate, then at him.  "Do not yell," he warned.

"Why not?  What is he doing?"

He put it into the hummer.  "He gave me a sample to compare to a DNA sample we found recently."

"Another bastard?" she demanded.

"No," he assured her calmly.  "Nothing like that."  She gaped.  "Trust me."

"No!  I want answers."

He pulled her closer, staring her down.  "In this case, I'm still working to find them, Yelina.  Your son gave me what I need to rule out something fantastic that shouldn't have happened," he said quietly.  "Let me do what I can and then I'll come to you with information."

"How long?"

"Hopefully not more than a few days," he assured her.  "If not, a week or so."  She grimaced at that. "We're trying as fast as we can."

"Do not tell him, Horatio."

"He asked and he's not an innocent child, Yelina."

"Whose fault is that?" she demanded, getting free.

"His.  He misjumped."  He stared her down again.  "Even if he hadn't he still wouldn't be a child, Yelina.  You and I both know all this warped him well beyond his physical age.  For now, let me do what I have to do.  When I have answers, we'll see what I can do and what we can do together."

"Take him home tonight."

Ray came to the door with his trunk.  "I can agree with that, Mom.  You need time to destress.  By the way, the soup's still warming.  I added some more bullion cubes."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "When you're calm again, call me.  I'm going to be taking cooking lessons from Taps."  She snorted and glared at him.  "Mom, if his DNA was found somewhere that wasn't another child...."  Horatio covered his mouth and gave him a look.  He nodded that he understood.

Yelina swallowed and looked at him.  "Is he right?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out."  She nodded.  "Still, Ray can come stay with me tonight."  She nodded, getting the groceries out.  "When you're calm, call or come over."  He got into the hummer, letting Ray put his things in the back.  "We've got to stop at Ryan's."

"Not like I mind, Uncle Horatio."

"Thank you for being reasonable."

"She's not real good about shocks."

"I've noticed.  It's been too much together."  He backed out and headed back to Ryan's.  He found Tony and Speed in there with Eric helping and Marisol fussing in the kitchen with the herbs.  He handed the gold plate and the bag to Ryan.  "She wants that back."

"Of course.  Everything I can do to save it," Ryan agreed, looking at Ray.  Then at Horatio.  Then at Tony.  Who smiled and nodded the kid over to help him.  "Thanks, Tony."  He looked at Horatio.  "I need yours too just in case."

"Of course."  He took off his jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves, taking the knife to do what his nephew had.  He winced a bit but then again he cut deeper.  "That's very sharp."

"It is.  I believe in surgically sharp knives.  It's easier to keep them sterilized."  He grinned and gathered up the blood.  "Someone come wrap this for him."  Eric came over to do that while Ryan went to start the scrying.  Tony and Speed took the other parts of the triangle since he had a triangle shaped pool to do this in.  A few drops of the blood and a short chant later a picture slowly floated up, making Speed hiss.  "Is that him?" he asked.  Horatio came over to look, nodding at that.

Ray looked in the pool.  "Can I kill him, Uncle Horatio?"

"No, Ray.  You can't.  I get to kill him and then your mother.  Then you."  His brother looked up and he smacked Ryan on the head. "Too deep."

"Strong blood."  He backed the scrying off, letting them see the surrounding areas.  "That's here.  I recognize the hotel."

"As do I."  He stopped his nephew from moving.  "Ray, we have to wait.  He's still under," he whispered.  "It could endanger his life and your mother deserves at least one good slap."

"She deserves to cave his nuts in," he said firmly.

Horatio smiled.  "She probably will.  Once she comes out of her shock and realizes about Madison."  They shared a look and he led him back to the pool.  "How soon?"

"He was made last week," Speed offered.  "We're going to deal with it."  He shared a look with his boyfriend.  Which was a strange thought.  The water churned and Speed clamped down on it.  "Sorry, Ryan."

"That's all right.  You guys go talk about this.  Keep Ray Junior calm in case he leaks or something."  Horatio and Speed both shuddered but they went with Eric to talk with the boy in the bedroom and make emergency plans.  He scooped out the drops of bloody water, cleaning the pool.  "We have another one to do," he told Tony.  "Quietly."  That got a nod so Ryan clipped a piece of the envelope out, then a small edge of the letter that had something that looked like tear drops.  He dropped them in and Marisol joined them to help scry him.  They found Calleigh eating ice cream and he forced it to refocus on the lesser sample.  They found a body.

"Is he alive?" Marisol asked.  "He looks dead."

"I don't know," Ryan admitted, moving something closer to him.  Having bugs around him was nice.  He encouraged one to bite the body, making him shift and moan.  "Horatio!"  He came out to look.  "He moved when the bugs nearby bit him."  He did it again.

Horatio watched then nodded.  "Find him for me.  Tonight."  They pulled back the scene, starting to sweat now.  He took over for Marisol, handing her to his nephew and taking her spot.  The picture picked up strength.  "Can he hear us the way Ray could?"

Ryan looked then at him.  "We can make him hear us, Horatio."  That got a nod.  He and Tony chanted something different, making Marisol gape.  "Whisper to him."  Horatio bent down to whisper into the picture, getting a blink and a nod.  "Not much longer, boss."

"Release it," he ordered.  He looked at his nephew.  "Stay here for now."  He hurried out.  He had given him orders of where to meet him.  He had his wand.  He was going to know what was going on.  Or else someone was going to be begging.  Including Alexx.  He found him sipping a milkshake looking confused.  "John?"

"Horatio."  He put his cup down.  "Don't ask, I have no damn clue."

Horatio sat across from him.  "What was the first thing you remember, John?" he asked more kindly.

"Some pretty blonde girl who led me back.  I woke up in the coffin and got myself out."  He held out a hand.  "You can test me.  She told me some of that stuff was real."

Horatio ran a test over him and moaned.  "No, not now."   He sent a heated thought at Danny, getting the proper procedure for that test.  He did it again and it came up better this time.  "You didn't bring it back with you," he sighed.

Danny appeared up the pathway and walked over, looking at Hagen.  He cast a shield around them and then checked him again.  "He's not tainted with it.  He's safe.  He also wasn't raised.  They got him within minutes."

"Alexx?" Horatio asked.

Danny shrugged.  "Could've obliviated her.  It can be done, even on Calleigh."

"Calleigh," he said, straightening up.  "Is she okay?"

Horatio looked at him and nodded.  "She is.  I'm not sure that this won't ruin her, John."  He sighed and nodded.  "For right now, are you hidden?"

"I am but it's not very pleasant."

"We can fix that," Danny promised.  "Come on."  He took something out of his pocket and sent him off once it was a portkey.  He sat down so no one would notice that they were missing someone.  "What're we thinking?"

"I want to know who did that."

"Willow."

"He said blonde."

"No, that's Buffy," he sighed.  "She's a signpost for most everyone who's brought back that way.  Rosenburg's screwed in the karma stakes."  He looked at Horatio.  "The other issue?"

"He's alive," he whispered.

"I heard from Speed, finally."  He patted him on the hand.  "Horatio, remember, almost no one can get into the bond, except for maybe Dumass."   He stood up and walked off, heading to Ryan's to help out there.  He popped in and looked at Ryan.  "I'm more attuned to death," he offered.

"We don't seem to have a good handle on that around here," Eric said dryly.

"Willow," Danny told him.  "Just like she did Buffy.  I sent him to the garage."  Speed and Tony both nodded at that.  "Then we'll talk to Calleigh."  He helped clean up the mess and looked at Ryan.  "What can we do to help?"

"I'm not sure where we're going next."

"First, Master Ryan needs to go clean up stinky mess he made," Scrubby said firmly, swatting him on the back of the thigh. "You made stinky mess.  You go clean the other apartment."  Ryan sighed but went to do that.  "Stupid boys."  She went back to the kitchen, frowning at Ray and Marisol, who were cooking.  "You two will eat!"

"Of course I will," Ray assured her with a grin.  "I'm hungry.  I'm a teenage male.  I'm going to eat my weight in food most days."  Marisol snickered.  "You'll need to eat too.  You'll lose strength if you don't eat."  He patted her on the back.  "Or else I'm going to tell Eric you're pregnant."

"I am not!"

"Yes you are," Speed called.

"She is what?" Eric demanded, stomping in.  "You're sicker?"

"No."  Ray Junior shook his head, draining the meat he was working on.  "She's not sicker.  She's fine on that spectrum, Eric."

Marisol glared at him.  "I thought you said you wouldn't tell him."

Ryan came in and frowned, looking over her.  Then he grinned.  "If it makes you happy."  He went back to cleaning the other apartment, making the guys smirk at his back.

"If what makes you happy?" Eric asked impatiently.  She went pale and he frowned more.  "Mari?"

"Um....."  She backed into Ray, who hugged her so she'd calm down.  She looked at him.  "You're very strong."

"It comes from Uncle H."  He let her go and got back to helping the house elf cook dinner.  "Maybe you should take her back to the bedroom to talk in private, Eric."  Eric drug his sister off by the hand, making the others laugh at that.  At least until he screamed 'What!' and then they laughed harder.  Marisol came running out and hid behind Tony, making Ray Junior giggle.

Tony looked back at her.  "I don't mind but if he gets that mean I'm sending you to Gibbs."

Eric huffed as he came out.  "Who?" he demanded.

"I'm not telling you."

"You are or I'm going to be far, far away when you tell Momma and Poppi."

Marisol winced.  "I'm not going there yet, Eric."

He snorted.  "I'm calling Momma within an hour if I don't know."

"You wouldn't."

"I would," he countered, staring her down.  He even pulled her from behind Tony but he pulled her back and put her back behind him.  "She's my sister!"

"And you've scared her enough for the night," Speed said patiently.  "Call your mother, Eric."

"Meany," she complained.

Speed looked back at her.  "Yeah, and?"

She huffed and came out, taking the phone from her brother's hand.  "He's overreacting, mother.  I'm fine."  She hung up and looked at him, glaring some.  "I'm going to turn you into a chihuahua."

"You do and Horatio will be pissed," he said dryly, staring her down.

"I find he makes a better beagle," Speed offered.

"He can change form?"

"No but I changed him a lot so I could use him to pick up women in the park," Speed said with a grin.  "They all petted him and I got to chat them up."

"That's unethical," she complained.

"Only marginally," Tony assured her.  He looked at Speed, then at Danny.  "Think I could do that to Ziva?"

Danny looked at him.  "She'd bite."

"Point."  He shrugged and got back to cleaning up the mess they had made.

Speed looked at the other parts of his original trio.  "You know, this means we get to bless the baby."  Danny and Tony both shuddered.  "What?  We did good with the last one we blessed.  She's very strong and capable."

"She's hell on earth to others," Tony complained.

"She's also a nag worse'n Granger," Danny agreed.  "The girl's a twat."

"Well, we did bless her to be strong-willed and firm in her convictions," Tony said dryly.  "Plus I think I gave her an extra one to find a strong love and lover."

"Yup, and she drove the first two away because she's a twat," Danny reminded him.

"She did," Speed sighed, shaking his head.  "But now we know what not to do."  They all smiled at Marisol, making her go pale and hide in Eric's arms.  "After all, if the family can't bless her...."

Eric shook his head.  "I want a nice, normal niece or nephew, thank you, guys."  He walked her out into the hall and pulled out his phone.  "Momma, we're coming over for a bit.  No, we don't need dinner, mom.  Just to talk."  He hung up and walked her out to his car, taking her over there.  Then he sat her down at the table and stood behind her, holding her down.  "Marisol has something to tell you or else Speed and them get to help with other things."  He stared down at her and she went even more pale.  "Mari?"

Her mother sighed.  "I had hoped it was the flu."

"Me too."

"The father?"

Marisol blinked.  "No comment?"  Her mother laughed at that.  "Really?"

Eric patted her on the head.  "Her or Speed, Mari."

"Well, he's a very nice guy I met at a party," she offered.  "But we're not dating any longer. He said he couldn't be with someone so sick."

"Ah, a shallow guy," Eric said dryly.  "Do we know him?"

"Probably not."

"That'll change," Eric assured her.  "Even if I do have to get Horatio and the rest of the group to help me."  She flinched.  "Exactly.  So, his name?"

"Paul."

"Paul...."

"Eric," his mother chided.  "If he's already left her all we can do is make him miserable until he sees the error of his ways."

"I want his name so I can do a background check on him first," he complained.  "That way we can make sure he's fit to have her and we don't have to suddenly find her a new husband."

"I don't need...."  Her mother started to laugh again.  The daughter wilted when she realized what that laugh meant.  Maybe she would go hide behind Gibbs next time.  He sounded like someone very protective.  Or that Ziva person.

***

Speed looked up from his midnight reading when Horatio finally came home, giving him a long look.  "We good?"

"For now," he said quietly, coming over to kiss him.  "Why does Eric smell like a brewery?"

"Marisol's pregnant."

"That's a good reason."   He took another kiss and got stripped down to his boxers but Speed banished those on him, earning a dirty look.  "I'm not in the mood."

"Do I care?"  He put down his book and pulled Horatio between him and Eric, cuddling him for now.  It was the most fundamental comfort he could offer, that and sending calm and soothing thoughts through the bond.  Horatio finally calmed himself nearly to sleep. "Let us help, H."

"When I can."

"You always can.  You don't let us.  We want to help."

Horatio nodded while he yawned.  "If I can."

"Thank you."  He gave Eric's arm a tug, getting him to move closer and cuddle Horatio's front for him.  It was nice.  They could sleep this way for now. Until Eric decided to use them as the mattress and climbed on top of them again.

***

Ryan walked into the lab the next morning and right into Stetler's back.  He still didn't like having him back but it wasn't his call to make in this instance.  He walked around him and headed on his trek to the locker room.

"Mr. Wolfe," Stetler called.

Ryan turned and gave him an impassive look.  "What?"

"Why are you renting two apartments?"

"I'm not."

"You are.  Your manager said you're handling the other one."

"I'm cleaning it for him.  My building manager likes my OCD if you must know."  That got a horrified look.  "That way it's all clean for the next tenant.  Anything else you want to know?"

"Why was there a gathering at your house last night?"

"Because I invited some people over."

"Yet, Caine left suddenly."

"He had something he had to take care of."

"What might that be?"

Ryan snorted. "He doesn't tell me those things.  Go find him and ask him yourself!"  He walked off again.  "Before you ask, the others were friends of his and Speed's that I met through them.  Mostly other officers."

Stetler growled and went to find Horatio, finding he had somehow slipped around him and into his office.  "How did you get in here?"

"Through the door like most mornings," he said blandly, looking at him.  "Why?  Were there reports that I had scaled the building?"

"What was the meeting last night about?"

"Some friends getting together."

"Wolfe said they weren't his."

"No, what he said was that he had met them through us and they were mostly officers.  With three exceptions.  Eric Delko's sister, my nephew, and a federal agent."  Stetler gaped.  "Anything else?  I've got manpower reports to go over."

"I will know what's going on in this department."

"I'm sure you'll dig until you find something," he agreed bitterly.  "Anything else?"

"I know what you did to me," he said bitterly.

Horatio looked at him.  "I haven't done anything to you yet, Rick.  Now, Marisol had an accident and I believe Mr. Wolfe may have fixed that one for her at her insistence.  I haven't done anything.  Yet."  The man obviously got the point because he backed away.  "Anything else?"

"I'll see you brought down."

"For?"

"For being unnatural!"  He stomped off.

Horatio sighed and thought at the others in the bond.  They agreed, he was too dangerous to leave alone.  He tracked him magically and once he was alone, he was shape changed.  Then he was banished off to Tony in DC.  Tony had a nice apartment and could easily put up with a new pet for however long it took for them to figure out what to do with him.

***

Tony walked into the office and found McGee staring at his desk with Ziva backed against his.  "What happened this time?" he asked patiently, coming over to see the small thing on his desk.  Stuck to his desk.  Someone had used a sticking charm on the small, furry thing.  "Huh.  Who're you, little bunny?"  He glanced around then ran a checking spell.  "Ah, Horatio thought I'd be the best one to pet you."  He shrugged and unstuck him, then put him in his emptier desk drawer.  "Until I can find you a cage and things," he promised, petting the soft head.  The rabbit flinched away.  "I'm not the mean one," he offered quietly.  "That's Danny."  The rabbit gave him a look.  "I'll take good care of you until we figure out what to do with you, Rick."  He went back to petting him.  "Hey, boss, got a delivery from Miami here at the office," he said dryly.

"What?" he complained.  The rabbit was held up and he moaned.  "Who is that?"

"Um, boss?  Office, cameras everywhere?" he suggested.  He got a dirty look and grinned, mouthing 'IAB asshole who bothers Horatio, was going to turn him in for having a wand' and got another moan.  "Sorry, boss, but as soon as I can get him a cage I'll take him home at lunch."

"Be late, do it now."  Tony nodded, going to take the rabbit home.  He shook his head.  "McGee?"

"Yeah, boss?" he asked, perking up.

"Why was that here?"

"He was probably the nicer alternative."

Ziva coughed.  "What is going on?"

"Long, involved story of petty jealousy over a lack of promotion," Tim told her.  "Or so Eric told me."

"That leads to a rabbit how?"

Gibbs looked at her, then grimaced.  "That's one of the parties in the story, Officer David."  He looked at his computer then turned it on, finding the note from their temporary boss.  "Aw, crap.  Meeting," he sighed.  He called DiNozzo.  "Bring it back.  We have a meeting."  He hung up and walked up there with his team, looking at their boss's secretary.  "He wanted to talk to us?"

"I think it was just you, Agent Gibbs, but let me check."  She called into the office.  "Sir, all of Agent Gibbs' team but DiNozzo are here."

"He's on his way."

"And he's on his way, sir.  Of course, sir."  She hung up.  "Give him two minutes to take something for his headache and get Agent DiNozzo here, then go in."

"Fine."  He looked over as Tony came back in with the rabbit, shaking his head.  "Let's go."  They walked into the office, sitting at the conference table.  "You wanted to see us?"

"What is that?" the pro-tem director demanded.

"I'm babysitting," Tony told him.  "I was heading to bring him home since they sent him here instead of my apartment, Director."

"Why is it even an issue?"

"Well....  Because I'm babysitting," he said dryly.  "I didn't have time to make it home and pick up a small cage for him."

"Him?"

"Yes, his name's Rick," he said dryly.  "He's very soft if you wanted to pet him."

"No, I don't," he sneered.  The door was closed by his secretary.  "I know something odd is going on with your team.  I will know what it is!" he said loudly.

Gibbs looked at them then at him.  "We're not doing anything different, sir.  What do you think is going on?"

"You talk about brooms, I've seen wands...."

Tony held up a hand.  "Why are you spying on us like that, Director?"

"Because it's my job!" he said snidely.

"No, your job's to make out the budget and run the agency, not spy on your best team," Tony reminded him.  "We get our cases done.  It's not like you have to prod us like some of the other teams, Director.  Is there a worry that we're not handling cases appropriately?"

"With what you talk about during the day!"

"Movies?" he asked, looking clueless.  "My dating habits?  I know Ziva doesn't care and McGee usually tunes me out, Director."

Gibbs nodded.  "So do I most of the time.  You see more action than I saw in combat, DiNozzo."

"Thanks, boss," he offered with a grin.

"Wasn't a compliment."

"Was to me."  He went back to stroking the bunny rabbit.  "Why is there a worry about our cases, Director?  We haven't been under such strict surveillance in the past."

"Your team is the reason the last director was fired."

"No, she was fired because she had a hand in getting one of our former teammates killed and then planting another one in the midst of us," Tony said coolly, staring back when he gaped.  "She's also responsible for some vendetta against me and offering false information that named me a pedophile and other vile things.  She even tried to call me a terrorist once or twice if I heard right."

"She did," Gibbs agreed.  "Sheppard went off the deep end in her desire for total control of our team."  He shrugged. "If we had known earlier I would have stopped her then."

"Wasn't your fault, Boss," Tony assured him.  "We had no idea she was even involved in the Ari thing."

"Tracing it back, the links were really tenuous at best," McGee agreed.  "She covered her tracks well with that one, Boss."

Gibbs nodded.  "Thanks.  I would like a copy of that report, McGee."

"As soon as I finish my conclusion page I was going to send it on.  I've been doing it after hours and not claiming overtime."

Gibbs looked at him.  "No, that's something that should be claimed.  Hand it to me today."  He looked at the director again.  "Was there a worry about our casework, Director?"

"Yes, there is. You take sudden trips from the elevator.  No surveillance equipment seems to work in there.  Agent DiNozzo has suddenly visiting *friends*," he sneered.  "And then I find out you've been tampering with the lab technician and getting her involved in whatever problem has taken your team.  I'm ordering an in-depth analysis of your team's casework and mandatory psychological evaluations for all of you."

Tony shrugged. "We passed them when we got here."  He looked at the rabbit then at him.  Then at Gibbs.  Then back at the director.  "Does that mean we're off casework until the investigation is done?  If so I need to take a personal hour to get a cage set up at my apartment, sir."

He glared at him.  "You're going to get rid of him."

"No, I'm not.  He's not mine to get rid of, Director.  As I said, I'm babysitting."

"You will or I'll shoot him myself."

"Should you, something grievous would happen.  Including federal indictments since the owner's in protective custody at the moment."  The director sneered and pulled a gun out.  "Boss?  Permission?" he asked, looking at him.

"Go for it."

Tony concentrated then spat something in Greek, making him pass out with a shriek, holding his head while the pain overtook him.  The secretary rushed in.  "He was ranting and then he passed out.  He was going to shoot my friend's rabbit too."  He smiled and held him up.  "This is Rick.  I'm babysitting."

"He's adorable," she agreed, petting the rabbit.  She checked him over and called a paramedic.  "Did he say anything?"

"No, just spat and hissed," Tony said, shrugging but looking distasteful.  "He thinks we're having issues."

"I didn't think we were," Ziva admitted.  She waved at Ducky when he rushed in.  "He was growling and sneering at Tony's bunny rabbit friend and then he passed out."

"Why?" he asked, looking at them.  "That's a very interesting rabbit, Anthony."

"I'm babysitting," he said with a small grin.

"Ah.  That's very kind of you."  The paramedics came in.  "He had a stroke we think.  He apparently passed out while ranting and screaming."

"That's fine, Doctor Mallard.  Let us handle him."  They got him started on an IV and out to the ambulance in record time, leaving them alone.  He smiled at the secretary.  "I'll make the necessary calls," he assured her, getting a smile and her disappearing.  "Anthony?"

"He had a stroke," he agreed.  He stood up.  "With that said, I'm going to find Rick here a cage and take him home."   He walked out, strolling really, petting the rabbit the whole way.  Once he was back in his car he looked at him.  "I told you I was the nicer one.  Danny  might've let you be wounded first."  He backed his car out and headed to the nearest pet shop to get him a rabbit cage and food.  Even if he didn't want to eat it.  Plus some litter because otherwise it'd be nasty to clean up.  Then he left him there and went back to the station, going back to his desk since the rest of the team was at theirs.  "Boss, what'm I doing?"

"We're still under investigation," he said blandly.  "Finish up whatever and make sure I have it."  That got a nod and he got to work on the paperwork he had backlogged.

***

Tony and Speed spent their lunch times talking back to Danny, who had many bad ideas at the moment.  It was cute until Speed had to tell Stella she needed to wear those out of him more often.  Then Danny yelled and ranted at them but Stella got him calmed down with a gentle stroke of his back and a quiet word in his ear.  They smirked at each other, then got back to talking about what to do with the new rabbit with the whole group.

Gibbs walked over to where the boys were sitting, sitting on Tony's free side.  "Are we talking about the rabbit?"

"We are," Speed agreed.  "Sorry, Gibbs, but he's threatening to expose us."

"Who was he?"

"Stetler."

Gibbs moaned and shook his head.  "At least we didn't end up with two rabbits earlier."  He sipped his coffee, watching the people walk past.  "So, how's Miami, Speed?"

"Odd at the moment.  Horatio wanted to come up to see you tonight if he could."

"Sorry, date."

"Good for you, boss."

"Shut up, DiNozzo," and he smacked him on the head.

"Ow!  That was unfair."

"Amanda's leaving town tomorrow."

"I'm sorry."  He looked at him.  "If I could, I'd have magiced her a job locally for you, boss, but I can't."

"I know.  We'll work it out somehow."  He took another drink of his coffee.  Then he watched as Speed stiffened.  He looked in that direction, finding a modestly pretty brunette woman.  "Is that her?" he asked quietly.

Tony looked and stiffened as well, then nodded.  "She's got the illusion back on.  It's darkening her hair and changing her facial shape a little bit."

"I pulled a Horatio to put anti-glamour charms on my sunglasses," Speed said quietly.   "Audry doesn't look bad for being a mom," he said softly.  Tony glared at him.  "Just saying, Tony, not hitting on her or anything.  I'd never do that to you."

Tony relaxed and nodded.  "Audry."  She looked over and gaped in horror.  He nodded her over and she came over more carefully.  "You know we'd never be able to hurt you, Audry."

"I know."  She looked at Speed.  "How?"

"Alexx, a witch down in Miami who became like my mom.  Danny tested me."  She smiled at that, grinning a bit.  "This is Gibbs, Tony's boss."  Gibbs nodded politely.  "What're you doing here?"

"My company's moving me here," she said dryly.  She heard a pop and looked around, finding a blond man in sunglasses.  "Danny?"  He nodded, walking over to hug her.  "You three are back together?"

"Just as tight as we ever were," Danny promised with a grin, making her blush.  "Not like that.  I've got three of my own now."  He smiled at Tony.  "Even if you do get cuddle rights."

"Thanks, Danny."  He looked at her.  "You're going to be moving to DC?"

"I'm not sure yet.  They're trying to force me to," she admitted.  "I don't want things to be awkward, Tony."

"I know, Audry.  I'd hate that."  He got up and gave her a hug, feeling how different it was now.  He let her go with a sad smile.  "It's not the same as it was."

"I know."  She stroked his cheek.  "But it's not bad.  We can be friends."

"We can be," he agreed, grinning slightly.  "You're the first girl whose said that who I believed."  She laughed and pinched him on the arm, earning a brighter smile.  "So, now what?"

"Would it be too awkward?"

"I'm out working most of the time.  Gibbs has us on twenty-four/seven call."  She gaped. "So you'd hardly ever run into me unless you came over to NCIS to pick me up for lunch."

"Then I'll quit fighting," she promised, stroking his cheek again.  "Dinner soon?"

"Whenever you get settled."

"Thank you."  She turned and walked off.

Tony sat down on Speed's lap, letting his boys cuddle him.  "It's not the same," he said quietly.  "It used to be a comfortable fit and now it's comfortable but I don't fit."

Danny stroked his back.  "There's always hope there's another one, Tony."  Tony looked at him.  "What did Kate say?"

"Point."  He sighed and nodded, getting up.  "So, boss.  Suspension?"

"No, just desk duty until we're all driven insane enough that they call in the psych evaluators again."

"Wonderful.  We should get back.  Thanks, guys."

"Keep Rick for tonight, Tony.  Then we'll see."

"Okay.  I'll have to get him real veggies.  He's refusing rabbit chow."  He walked off, heading back to the office.

"Give us some warning next time, boys," Gibbs ordered.  He followed.

Speed looked at Danny.  "He'll heal."

"He will," Danny assured him, giving him a hug and a slap on the back.  They both sent dirty thoughts at Tony to cheer him up, making him laugh and send back a mental cuddle.  Then they went back to their separate departments to get back to work.  Danny looked at Mac when he walked into the lab he was working in.  "Sorry.  Audry showed up," he said quietly.

"Tony's former girlfriend?"

"The one his father cursed and we had ta help."  Mac looked pissed at that.  "That was the first time Tony had been able to cast something like an unforgivable.  It worked well too.  His mother stood there and clapped."  He shrugged. "She's being moved to DC and it'll be awkward but they'll go back to being friends."

"Then that's for the best if they can't rekindle what they used to have," he agreed, patting him on the back.  "Would you like someone to go with you tonight to her grave?" he asked quietly.

"Nah.  I haven't been in years."  He looked at him. "We still gotta figure out what ta do with the bunny, Mac."

"I heard," he agreed dryly.  "We'll figure that out later.  Maybe a group dinner?"

"Might not be a bad idea."  He sent that thought out, getting various 'sures' and 'I'll bring something's.  "Works for them."

Mac smiled and nodded, going back to work, ignoring the lurking Lindsey.  Not like they could help it.  He nodded at Sheldon.  "We're having a group dinner tonight if you wanted to come.  Eric probably will so you won't be the only one."

"That's all right, Mac.  My sister's coming in for a visit this weekend so I've got to clean."

"Want to borrow Taps?"

Sheldon blinked.  "No, that's a bit too strange for me.  Thanks though."  He smiled.  "Enjoying having a housekeeper?"

"Very much. It's nice to come home to a clean house."   He went back to his lab and settled in to figure out what was going on with his present case.  It was going to drive him insane.  He had almost no evidence.

***

Yelina knocked before walking into her brother-in-law's house, staring at her son.  "I went to get some of your laundry," she stated.

He looked up from his reading _People_.  "At least it wasn't a girl hiding in my closet, mom."  She scowled.  "That's my private research and I'm not planning on doing it, just learning it."

"Dealing with dead things?" she demanded.

He gave her another of those patient looks.  "Mom, there's worse out there.  I'm learning how to spot things that've been brought back by various means.  Not planning on bringing someone back."  She sat down, just staring at him.  "I'm not."

"You're sure?" she asked more calmly.

He nodded.  "I'm very sure, mom."  His uncle came home.  "She found the books I got off Danny to learn how to spot things that had been brought back."

"At least you weren't hiding a girl in there this time, Raymond."  He went into his bedroom to change.  "He's being good, Yelina.  I'm watching over his shoulders."

"As long as someone does."  She waited until Horatio came back out then glanced at her son.  "Is there any news yet?"

Her son closed the book and looked at his uncle, who sighed.  He looked at his mother again.  "The court case has to do with Dad's former cases."  She gaped.  "There's a reason I wouldn't have to bring him back, mom.  Mostly I've been told you get to kick his ass first, then me, then Uncle H."

"Was he... like Speed?" she asked quietly, staring at Horatio.  Who shook his head.  "Are you sure?"

"Very," Ray agreed.  "I checked."  He leaned forward.  "I had a moment of wanting to scream his name, but then the overwhelming urge to beat him showed up, mom.  So, you'll get him then I'll get him then Uncle Horatio can have whatever's left."

She smiled at him, patting him on the head.  "It'll be different when you see him, son."

He looked at his uncle.  "We should talk to the Rosenburg book to see how many others she did that to."

"I've asked Dawn to do that for us.  She's said she only did it three times.  Buffy, the one you know about, and someone more personal to Ryan, but that one didn't work.  She had moved on."

"Good," he sighed, relaxing again.  "Because that's dangerous.  Things could get an open portal back if it's not done perfectly."

"I know, Ray.  It'll be fine and she can't do it while she's a book."   He patted her on the head.  "Ryan helped us, Yelina, and I'm sure it'll become obvious very shortly."  She nodded, slumping down some.  "Other than that, Ray, I heard from your ex today. She's very sorry she threw you over."

"Uh-huh," he said dryly. "I'm sure she is, Uncle Horatio.  Doesn't mean I want the skank back or that I screwed up my birth control spells."

"No, that wasn't why she called," he assured him. "I suggested she could see you at school tomorrow so you didn't have to run into her tonight."  Ray shrugged at that.  "So I'm going to postpone our night out."

"That's fine.  I can pretend to be grounded if it'll keep me away from her."  He looked at his mother.  "Pick out something pretty, mom. That way he's staring in awe of you when you hit him the first time.  It'll make it happier for us."

She shook her head.  "I'm not sure what I want to do yet, Raymond."

"I am.  I'm going to kick his ass," he assured her.  "And I can do it too."  She smiled at him.  "I did learn from the three top badasses at that school in that realm," he said dryly.

"How long did you spend over there?"

"A few days."

"You learned all that so quickly?" she demanded.

"There's ways of giving information over more quickly. Then he'd have to practice them, Yelina," Horatio said calmly.  He stared at his nephew.  "Correct?"

"Very."  He grinned. "Plus Speed kinda warped time on one room one night."

"I see.  Can he do that now?"

"Not a clue."

"Oh."  She considered her son.  "What are you studying now?"

He held up the book.  "Advanced transfiguration.  Humans into moving objects like clocks."  She shuddered.  "Better than the rabbit," he said dryly.  "Or the alligator."

"That was Marisol," Horatio said firmly.

"How is the bunny, Uncle H?" he teased.

"Would you like to be grounded for real?" he offered in return.

"Not really.  So, can mom have the bunny?  She'll take very good care of it."

Yelina gaped at them.  "You charmed him again!" she demanded.

"We had to, Yelina.  He was going to expose us," Horatio said quietly, staring at her.  "He's in very good and protective hands.  He's simply a rabbit at the moment."

"Where?"

"Tony has him," he promised.  He pulled her closer.  "Somehow he found out about what we can do, Yelina.  The changes shouldn't have let him remember but he does somehow.  He was going to expose us to the Chief and in doing so would endanger countless lives."  She slumped again.  "So he's safe and protected.  Tony won't let anything happen to him."

"I'd hope not."  She sat down again, looking at him.  "Was it that imperative?"

"It gives us time to figure out how to block him," he said.

"Oh."  She looked at her son.  "Not going to help?"

"If I'm asked.  I'm sure those three know things I don't since they were seventeen, mom."

"Point."  She looked at Horatio again.  "Should I start dinner?"

"Already started," he assured her with a small smile.  "Staying?"

"If it's not an imposition. I think I should talk to my son."

Ray grinned at her.  "I started meat roasting an hour ago. It should be nearly tender."  Horatio went to look.  "It'll be fine, mom.  Just relax for now and think up creative ways to kick dad's ass."

She nodded.  "I'll do that," she assured him.  "Is he local?"

"He was when we scryed."

"Scry?"

"Using water as a reflective surface and a chant to bring the object of our attention into focus on it."

"Oh."  She shrugged, she had no idea.  This magic stuff was all unnatural to her.  "How did he look?"

"Really good for a meth whore," Ray said bitterly.

"Raymond," his uncle complained.

"Sorry, Uncle H."

"Thank you."

Ray looked at his mom and shrugged.  They knew what he was.

***

Horatio had the sudden feeling and checked a few things, finding a message to meet a federal agent somewhere.  He walked out, going to do that.  What he found in the backseat of his hummer did not surprise him.  "Raymond."  He got in and drove off, heading to the meeting.  "What am I going to hear?"

"That I escaped them.  Things are going to hell, Horatio.  I need your help."

"A word of advice, Raymond.  Protective gear."  He parked them somewhere more private to talk to him.  "What is going on?"

"They had me dirty on tape."

"So you couldn't tell us?" he demanded.

"They wouldn't let me."

Horatio looked at his brother.  "You, Raymond, are in deep shit."

"I heard my son, Horatio."

"He was helping."

Raymond moaned.  "He's like you?"

"He's better in transfiguration than charms but yes.  He's also fully trained.  You never told your wife?"

"How do you tell her something like that?" he demanded.

"Before your son made your toaster bark," he said dryly.

"Why did my son make the toaster bark?" he asked, looking confused.

"He wanted a dog at the time."

"Oh.  One of those.  I remember you redoing your bedroom by accident one night in your sleep.  Mom was not amused with the naked woman painted across your walls."

"I painted over it," he reminded him firmly.

"Good thing."  He shifted forward.  "Are they safe?"

"Very.  You're not when they see you."

"I heard."  He looked at him. "I need your help, big brother."

"I'll do what I can, Raymond, but I may not be alone. There's people in the labs I trust."

"I saw who came over last night," he agreed dryly.  "Does my son realize you're in a threesome?"

"Yes.  He picks on Eric about giving up women for me."  That got a moan and a head shake.  "Since this upset his mother so much he spends a great deal of time at my house. Especially since he was missed and I ended up teaching him."  Ray gave him a horrified look.  "With help.  At one point he managed to misjump realms.  Ended up with the Speed/Danny/Tony group when they were seventeen to learn from them."

"I remember Speed but who're the others?"

"His school friends. They went to New York as well."  His phone rang. "I have to go to the meeting, Ray.  Are you staying in the hummer?"

"Please."  Horatio restarted the engine and drove off. "So, my son's a wizard.  He good?"

"He's very good but he's figuring out how to test things to see if they were reanimated."

"Eww."

"Not the first time it's happened."

"I was wondering about Speed," he admitted.

"Alexx actually."

"Excuse me?  The nice, sweet, mothering ME who feeds you now and then and encourages you to date?  Not that you've ever had a problem with finding women."

"Nor does your son."

"Wonderful.  So he's just like you?"

"Exactly," he agreed smugly.

"If they had let me I would've told you three," he promised.

"Raymond, there are ways around even the most cruel jailer."  He pulled into the park that was in the message and got out, walking over to the federal agent he had found out was over Raymond's case.  "Good morning, Agent Johnson."

"Morning, Lieutenant, but not a good one."  He looked around them at him.  "You know I can't say much."

"I know.  What did he do?"

"He was made.  His cover was blown," he admitted quietly.  "He's in the wind."

"Then let me handle this."

"I need to be kept involved."

"No you don't."  He gave him a look.  "Anything else?"

"Can you make him safe?"

"We'll see."  He nodded. "Thank you for that information."

"What happened to Stetler?" he asked when Horatio started to walk away.

"He's in protective custody," he said dryly, giving him a look.  The agent stepped back.  "He's very safe and well taken care of.  Once he's no longer a problem we'll bring him back  like he's been on a happy vacation."  He walked back to his hummer, going to drive around for a while. "I want a full account, Raymond."

"Will you help me get them back?"

"Find some protective pads.  You'll need them."

"After that?"

"That's between the three of you.  If she asks or he asks, I'll help hide you in plain sight."

"You're my brother."

"I am."  He paused and glanced back at him.  "Not a happy one at the moment, Ray."  He moved on once the light had turned green, heading back toward his house. "Your son is in school.  Do not trash my house."

"I wouldn't dream of it," he promised, taking the spare set of keys and heading inside when Horatio paused.

"I know you would," Horatio said blandly.  "But that too shall change, Raymond."  He went back to the station, texting Ray from the parking lot to warn him.  That way he'd come to the station instead of going home immediately.  Then he got out and went inside, running into Frank. "Problems?"

"Yeah, your nephew's in your office.  School got closed today due to a water leak that took out part of the hallway upstairs and is now damaging the gym."  Horatio moaned.  "Why is Yelina upset?"

Horatio looked at him.  "Frank...."

"Horatio, I've kept every secret you've ever given me," he pointed out.  "Every single one.  Including the worst ones."

Horatio nodded and pulled him back outside to talk in private.  "There's been two people found recently who should be dead," he said quietly.  "One was and one wasn't."

"Wasn't?"

"As in the Federal Agents who caught him and turned him planned his death, Frank."  Frank gaped.  "So we're figuring out how to best get him free at the moment."

"Hagen?" he asked quietly.

"No, he was dead until Miss Rosenburg decided it'd be a good thing.  Danny sent him somewhere more hidden with less bugs."

Frank slumped. "Why?"

"I'm not sure yet.  Dawn said she talked to her and she only said it was about making others happier."

"I'm not sure she would be."

"Nor am I, Frank.   Nor is she."

"Then who's....   Oh, hell.  Your brother?" he hissed.  Horatio nodded.  "The boy'll need some protection."

"Only if Ray Junior gets to him first," he said blandly.  "His cover was blown and we're settling things now, Frank."

Frank shook his head.  "It won't be safe."

"I can make him not be himself."

"Point."  He glanced around then at him. "I hate to ask, but Stetler's seemingly disappeared?"

"He was going to expose us," he said very quietly.

"He okay?"

"He's a bit furry and floppy, Frank.  Tony's got him in protective custody."

"Floppy?" he asked, looking amused.  Horatio summoned up a picture and he burst out laughing.  "You're kidding!"

"No, I'm not.  It's what he always wanted.  To be well liked."  He put the picture away and shrugged at him.  "They're still arguing over rabbit chow too."

"Wonderful.  Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy," he agreed, smirking at him.  "Now what, Horatio?"

"Now, we plan some things, Frank.  Do not tell Yelina.  I will."

"Sure."  He patted him on the arm.  "Thank you."

"You did earn the trust, Frank."  He headed inside, finding Yelina at her desk.  He looked at her, making her look up.  He nodded.  She looked confused.  "Things aren't always what they seem, Yelina.  Like lunch being at home even though I had planned for us to sit down and talk about my nephew's college career."

"Need me to run and get it?"

"No, there's a bit of an electrical problem at home.  A few shocks."  She swallowed.  He smiled.  "It will be fine.  But do come up for lunch."  She nodded and he went up to his office, finding his nephew meditating.  "Good idea."

"Thank you."  He opened his eyes to look at him.  "What happened?"

"His cover was blown."

"By us?"

"Not from what he said.  I did advise him he should probably get some protection gear."  Ray smiled sweetly at that.  "He's asked for our help if we survive this."

"Why?"

"He wants to rebuild things."

"I'm not sure that's a wonderful idea."

"Me either but he wishes to try."

"So, the earring thing?"

"Could work."  He smirked at him.  "Not like Tony had to do."

"Shoot," he complained, frowning some.  "Please?"

"No, Raymond.  That's more cruel than what he deserves."

"No it's not.  I can even ask Speed how he did it."

"No, Raymond."

"Fine.  Make me do it physically."  They shared a look.   His uncle shrugged.  He'd help him do whatever he was allowed to do.  Because the adults didn't want him to become *too* mean already.

***

Yelina stared at her husband, then slammed the door to Horatio's house, making him jump and stare back. "I'm not sure if I should hug you, hit you, or shoot you."

"I'd love the hug but accept the hitting.  If you go for your gun I'm going to have to pounce."  He sat up, looking at her.  "Is everyone coming?"

"Not yet."  She didn't move closer.  "Why, Raymond?" she asked finally.

"They caught me on tape, Yelina.  They made me help them."

"You couldn't tell us?" she demanded.

"They watched me too closely.  I couldn't even get mail out."  She snorted and crossed her arms over her chest.  "I wanted to," he said, sounding like he was promising.

"Just like you wanted to tell me about the drugs and Suzie?"

"Um..."

"Yes, we know.  Your brother even tried to cover for you for a while.  Until she got sick."  He gave her a helpless look.  "Don't do that."

"I wanted to tell you both, Yelina.  That way you could explain it to Ray Junior."  He stood up.

"Do not come closer," she ordered.  He sat down again, just staring at her.  "Our son has the right idea.  I should shoot you."

"You probably should," he agreed. "I've caused a lot of pain and grief.  If it wasn't for my stupidity I'd have been there to help you when Ray Junior's skills came out so it wouldn't have been such a shock."  She snorted at that.  "Really.  After all, I watched Horatio have a lot of early accidents with his and I should've asked him to test the son.  I was being arrogant because it never runs through more than one son each generation."

"Well, we only have one son," she said dryly.

"There was the hope of a second one," he offered.  She gave him a heated glare that made him shiver.  "I know it's not probable now.  All I want is to try to make amends and see if we can go forward."

She turned and left, slamming the door.

He winced.  That hadn't gone well.  His wife had a fiery temper and he was going to need the protective gear his brother had spoken of.  Especially if his son was anything like his big brother for real.  He got up to look at the picture he had found, staring at it.  He knew who the third person in the picture was.  He'd deal with Stetler when the time came.  For now all that mattered was getting safe and making amends.  He felt another gut wrenching pain and looked up.  "Son, please!  Just hit me."

Speed appeared on the stairs, sitting down.  "Not the son, Ray."  He gaped at him.  "It's not.  You pissed him off but he's not leaking.  We've reinforced Horatio's office for such emergencies.  I think you'll find you've pissed off the nature paths around the family as well.  Including a pregnant one who likes Ray Junior like a little brother.  She's not a happy camper and she's muttering and swearing about you.  So if you turn into an alligator or something we'll try to turn you back."  Someone knocked and walked in. "Ryan.  What are you doing here?"

He held up the bag.  "Eric sent me.  He said Marisol's on a rant."  He closed the door and walked over to hand over the bag of stuff.  "Drink it all down in one gulp."  He sat down to do that, then he moaned and held his stomach.  He smirked.  "That's from Eric and I.  You nearly destroyed your brother.  Speed and Eric held him together after your funeral for months on end.  There's nothing that'll protect you if you hurt them again.  If they don't accept you back, we'll help you set up in Amish country or somewhere near there."  The man on the couch nodded, wincing at the pains.  "Good."  He looked at Speed.  "Marisol only gave him the runs.  I gave him the herbal cure for that and then something to make his insides twist."

"Works with what I did," he agreed.  "He's going to tell his wife and son everything when they ask.  Fully truthful.  He has no choice."  He stood up.  "Nice work.  Eric's getting mean in his old age."

"Yeah, Calleigh and I thought you might need to do more than cuddle him again.  He's not a happy camper this morning and tried to flirt with a suspect.  She swatted him for you."

Speed smirked.  "I'll get him later.  Sleep sweetly, Raymond.  We'll get off around dark."  They walked out together, heading back to the hummer Ryan had brought. They both laid a protection on the house so no one could get in to harm him but he had to learn how much pain he had caused.  Though neither one would be telling Horatio anything.  Or Ray Junior.  What they did to him was up to them.  Speed got a ride back to work and Ryan was even nice enough to stop in and let him get lunch.

***

Danny looked up from his processing the new body, smirking evilly.  "Just let me know if you need help, Speed.  That wasn't very hard for you."  He went back to work.

Stella looked at him. "What did they do?"

He smiled at her.  "He'll have to tell the truth to them."

"That can be pretty harmful.  Especially to his wife and son."

"Nah.  They know already.  He'll have to confess though."  He found something and took pictures of it.  "Beads.  Tiny ones."  He tape lifted them and put that into an envelope, then looked for more evidence.

Stella shivered.  Danny wasn't usually the scary one of that trio.  She was more scared of Tony's evil mind than Danny's, but she hadn't seen how bad Danny could be before.  Now she knew there were depths she hadn't seen yet to his bad side.

He looked at her. "You only have ta worry about it if you cheat or somethin' bad like that," he assured her quietly, then he got back to work.

"I'd never do that, Danny."

"I'd hope not," Don said as he came back from questioning suspects.  "Ray Junior need ideas?  I'm sure I can ask Alex for him."

"I think he'll get plenty from our school trunks," Danny said with an evil smirk.  Don shivered at that and Stella tensed up.  "I'm nice to you guys."

"Good, we like that," Don assured him, thinking about how to make sure Danny got some sleep tonight.  Plus be put into a better mood. Because he was the scary one, no matter that others worried about Speed or Tony.  Danny had depths that the other kids didn't.  Namely, his family.  That would give him a lot more depth to plumb for mean ideas.

Danny grinned at him.  "I wouldn't mind if you did dinner and then gave me a backrub," he teased.

"We'll see what I can do," he agreed, going to find someone else to question.  Stella came to help him.  Just in case.  They shared a look and he sent Mac a subtle message, making Danny cackle like the Wicked Witch of the West.

In the office, Mac put his head down and very silently thought what he could do to make Danny normal and happy again.  These evil moods were bad for the lab.  Lindsey might end up damaged the next time.  Last time she'd only ended up with screaming nightmares.  This time it would be worse.  Much worse.

A Switch

Don winced, moving his shoulders.  Today had been a bitch of a day.  Nothing had gone well.  He'd had to chase three different people before lunch and then found his lunch had been eaten by someone.  Before he could run out to replace it, with much complaining, he had gotten a tip on a case and had to go chase someone else.  He came back and found all his lovers out on a very nasty call, feeling very sorry for them when he found out that it had been six bodies that had been stored in an old sewer pipe.  They were going to stink for days.  It also meant that he was responsible for making dinner because there was no way they'd get done in time to get home like normal people.  Now, he was starving, his paperwork had grown by a few more forms, including answering to a brutality charge from the last guy he had to chase down.  He complained because the only place he could've brought him down was in some garbage.  Better than the busy street he had been heading for, right?  But no, he had to deal with that issue too.  So he was not a happy camper.  He put his head down and silently wished he had it easier for the day.  Just one day of being in school or something.  Something gentle that didn't lead to that much stress.

***

Dawn Summers looked up and sighed.  Bored out of her mind.  She was so bored she'd gladly go hunting demons if she had to.  She looked at Hagrid, giving him a pitiful look.  She couldn't even *see* the creatures he was talking about.  She didn't know why.  She had seen plenty of death.  She should be able to see the Thestrals.  She looked again, they weren't there.  She didn't see any equine-like animals around except for Ginny's mare Apple, and her unicorn honey.  She did see Apple not feeling well so she walked over there, patting her on the nose when she wandered over. "Are you all right, Apple?"  She ran a hand down her side and blinked. "Um, Hagrid?"

"Not now, Dawn."

"Hagrid!" she yelled louder.

"Dawn Summers!"

"She's in fucking labor!" she yelled.  "Someone might want to get Ginny and oh, I don't know, maybe the nurse or even Professor Armwrench or someone?"  Hagrid gaped and she looked up.  "GINNY!  APPLE'S IN LABOR!" she screamed.  Ginny and Luna both came running with Professor Armwrench behind them.  "Unless the rhythmic pains are something else?"

Professor Armwrench laid a hand on her side and nodded.  "She's in pre-labor.  It'll be a few hours before she goes into real labor.  For right now she'll need a stall.  No one will be allowed to touch the foal."  Ginny nodded, going to set one up with Luna's help.  "Miss Lovegood, no.  Only her rider, dear."

"Okay, what can I do to help?"

"Go alert the nurse in case there's a problem and Professor Snape."  She nodded, heading to do that.  He looked at Dawn.  "Good catch."

"Why can't I see Thestrals?"

He blinked at her.  "I have no earthly idea with as much death as you've had to see in your life."  He tested her forehead.  "Hmm.  Your powers are on the blink again, my dear."  She groaned.  "I know, it's not fun.  You'll be able to see them very well in a few hours.  Relax for now.  Encourage Ginny."

"I'm trying.  Hagrid didn't want to listen.  Why am I still stuck in school?"

"Because you needed a few years before you went into the field," he pointed out with a smug look.  "Besides, *someone's* got to protect the school."

"Point," she muttered, heading off to find Professor Snape's new wife.  "Holly?" she called once she got to the potion's hallway.  Snape came out and glared.  "Has Luna gotten to you yet?  Apple's in pre-labor."  He walked off muttering.  "And I can't see Thestrals even though I've staked vampires and things."

He turned to look at her, looking confused.  "That's an odd problem."

"The Prof said my powers are on the blink?"

"Holly's resting."

"Ah.  Even better.  I'm going to Alex's hidden area to sulk.  Okay?"

"No."

"Tough."  She trudged that way anyway before she caused more problems.  Because the last time she had nearly brought down the astrology tower on her head. This way she was in a shielded room and nothing would go wrong.  Even if she did wish she could be in the field today.

***

Don suddenly squeaked and looked at himself when his clothes changed to something highly unusual.  He blinked at the short skirt, knee high socks, button up shirt and sweater vest, plus robe, taking the robe off. "Okay, who in the fuck did this?" he demanded.  "I know I needed a nap but really!  I don't snore that loudly!"

"Yes you do," his boss called, coming out.  She blinked at him.  "That's just....  Is that Harry Potter gear?"

"Yes," he sneered.  "Who did it!" he demanded.

"Don, calm down," Sal ordered.  He was the only other wizard in the homicide division.  "Just stay calm.  None of us did that.  Though, you do look very cute in that outfit."  Don glared at him and he backed his chair away.  "Go home.  Now.  Just go.  I'll watch your desk, just leave from there."

Don huffed and disappeared from the back hallway he headed into before anyone could see him.  He landed at home and started to swear a blue streak mentally.  This was not funny!

***

Horatio looked up, frowning.  "Don's not happy," he said quietly.  Ryan gave him an odd look.  "Somehow he ended up in Hogwart's female student attire."

"Interesting.  Do we know a female student over there?" he prodded.

Horatio moaned and called Alex Dumass's cell phone.  "Check on Dawn.  Somehow your other apprentice ended up in a school girl skirt, Alex.  Not funny.  He was asleep when it changed.  Yes, I'm quite sure.  He's still swearing. It's been a few minutes now.  You might want to check on Dawn.  See if they're hers."  He hung up on more laughs.  "They're not going to be helpful."

Ryan shrugged.  "I'm hoping it was an accidental thing."

"Me as well.  Can you imagine him in her usual belly shirts?"

Ryan frowned, then shook his head quickly. "Only if he's wearing glitter too."  He got back to work while Horatio tried to get that mental image out of his head.

***

Mac looked up at the sudden and intense swearing, blinking at it.  He tried to calm Don down but he wasn't having any luck.  He had to focus on the defense attorney asking him pointless questions.  He did send a note to Danny or Stella to fix that for him.

Stella looked around then at Danny.  They had been stuck at this crime scene when Mac had been called early to testify.  She tried to calm Don down.  It wasn't working.  Danny snapped at him to shut up, that worked.  Then he got him calmed down so he wasn't screaming any more.  Danny almost snickered at the mental image of Don in Dawn's school uniform.  The short skirt especially.  Don mentally slapped him and went to sulk, shutting them out.  "Call the school?"

"Do phones work there?"

"Fine, send a message with the charmed quills I had you make."

"It's at home, Danny."  He gave her a pointed look and she moaned, going to get her wand from the truck so she could summon it.  One quick note later and she regloved and came back to work on this very nasty scene.  "I'm going to be bathing in lemon juice forever."

"We'll run a bath and soak in it," he quipped.  He looked around then at her.  "Where's the coroner's people?"

"I don't know.  Or our patrol officers."

"Mac's gonna kill someone."

"Ya think?" she joked.  She sent more soothing thoughts at Don, getting back a huff and her being shut out of his mind as well.  No, their lover was not a happy person, even if the spell to change his clothes back to his normal ones had changed it to Dawn's belly shirt and really tight jeans instead.  Which had to hurt since she was smaller than he was.

***

Tony looked up and shuddered.  "Oooh."  McGee looked at him since they were together.  "Someone slipped.  Looks like Dawn and Don Flack changed clothes by accident."

"Ow.  Can he fit into her things?"

"With what's going on?  Not much of a choice," he admitted quietly.

"Gossiping is not gathering evidence," Gibbs snapped.

"Sorry, boss," Tony called.  "Trying to block out the mental swearing."

"Stub your toe?" he asked dryly.

"No, Don."

"Why?"

"Somehow Dawn's clothes ended up on him while he was napping at his desk at work."

Gibbs considered that statement then shuddered for the first time he'd ever seen.  "I'd swear too."

"Anything he puts on turns into her things," Tony said blandly.  "He even tried it the normal way and it didn't work."

"Poor guy."

"Danny and Stella have six or so bodies buried in an ancient and mostly presently unused sewer pipe under some accumulated stuff that's best not dwelt on."

"I like this hit and run just fine," McGee decided.  He had been complaining because the body had fallen into a patch of poison ivy.

"Yeah, I'm thanking a lot of deities that I won't be bathing in lemon juice tonight too," Tony agreed.  "Mac febreezed before court and it didn't help either."

"Ewww," Ziva complained.

"What?"

"Cow pancakes."

"Patties," McGee corrected. "And I don't think it was a cow out here, Ziva.  There's probably not any within fifty miles."

"There's a place up the road that has miniature horses," Tony offered.  He got back to work on the sketch of the scene.

"Like ponies?" Ziva asked.

"No, like the size of a sheepdog," Tony corrected.  "They're pets.  They're actually pretty cool.  Just little horses."  He shrugged and continued to work.  "They live indoors and everything.  Smarter than dogs too."

"You still have a rabbit, DiNozzo," Gibbs reminded him.

"I know, boss.  We're still deciding what to do with him."

"I'll talk with Horatio and Mac later."  He looked at the pile of crap.  "Bag that too, let's see if it's relevant."  She gave him a horrified look. "It's at the crime scene, Officer David."

"I did the last one," Tony said before she could foist it off on him.

"I did the one before that and Kate got the one before that," McGee agreed.  "It's your turn.  Unless you'd like to come over here and search among the poison ivy?"  She got to work scraping up the sample.  He went back to trying not to scratch. So did Tony.  "Hey, Boss, I could use a hand.  There's something stuck halfway in the dirt and I don't have a trowel.  Can you get it out of the truck for me?"  He went to get it, handing it over while he looked at what he saw.

Tony sketched it in too and made notes about the biological sample found near the body as well.

***

Dawn looked at the suit she was now wearing.  "Huh.  That's a new one."  She got up to look in the mirror, casting a fitting charm since the owner was clearly bigger than she was.  She didn't look too bad in the guy's suit either.  And hey, it was a nice suit too.  It was even pastel so she could take off the tie and undo a few buttons to make it look like a woman's suit.  Which she did and then sat down again.  She had *no* idea how this one had happened.  Even when Snape came in.  "Well, I didn't pull the castle down on me," she said lightly.  "But apparently one of the guys I know has my uniform in his closet or something."

He stared at her.  "Go change."

She flicked her wand and it changed to a new suit.  Which she refit for herself and took off the tie.  He glared and she shrugged. "You saw me try."

"Go try manually."

"It'll be the same outcome," Harry said from behind him.   He looked at Dawn and blinked.  "Flack is going to be quite pissed if he can't have those put back into his own size."

"Oops?"

"Dawn, he was in the middle of work!" he complained.

"I didn't do it!"

"Somehow you two did it together," Harry said.  "And while it's okay on your end, he's stuck in your clothes."

"He'd better not stretch them out," she said petulantly.

Harry walked in and patted her on the head, then smacked it.  "Learned that off Abby," he said happily.  "Let's go fix this.  Now."  She sighed but followed him.  "Thank you for watching over another surge, Professor Snape.  Alex is still trying to figure this out."

"It is cyclical but not her hormones."

"No, it's probably the boredom cycle.  We all had it."

"Well, I was tragically bored today," Dawn admitted. "I'm sorry, Professor Snape."

"Just fix it," he demanded.  They nodded and headed down to the apparation barrier with her dog trotting behind her and Keelian sneaking away from Hagrid's hut to join them.

"Go to New York."

"Don or Danny's?"

"Danny's."  She nodded and left with the animals.  He looked up.  "At least I don't have that problem too," he said, trying to look on the bright side.  He disapparated and appeared a few minutes later in Danny's living room.  Of course the house elf started to shriek when he saw how dusty he was.  "Hush!"  he ordered.  "It's just dust!  It'll clean.  Don'll have this too when he works in the field on his vacations."

Their house elf glared at Don.  "You would be messing up Taps pretty and clean house?"

"Not really.  I don't get too dirty most of the time."

"I don't either but Ron's managed to break his arm in a way that means it can't be healed by any healing potion or spell Draco knows of," Harry said dryly.  "Alex said he's already been in there once before so it was my turn."  He pointed at Dawn.  "She was bored."

"I wanted an easier day," he admitted.  "Even if it meant being in school for a day."

"Ah, so the magic connected and switched your clothes.  Good.  Now fix it."  He disappeared, going to find Abby so he could get a hug.  Sometimes he hated working in the field.  The guard there gave him an odd look.  "Just in from the field.  Wanted a hug.  She busy?"

"A bit but she probably has time for a hug," he admitted, calling Abby.  "Your boy's here.  Dusty and nasty.  Said he's just in from the field and needs a hug."  She hung up and came down the stairs a few minutes later to give him a full body cuddle there in the entry.  He smiled at that.  The boy did cling to her like she was his sanity, which was a strange thought when one thought about Abby, but it was something every woman in love deserved to be for somebody.  He tried to let go but she didn't so he went back to squeezing her.  She finally let him go and looked at him.  The boy smiled back.  She gave him a good, long, with tongue, kiss and then she went back to work, dusting herself off all the way to the elevator.

Harry smiled.  "She does brighten my day considerably," he said happily, heading off again.  He disapparated from the appointed spot and headed back to New York, finding them still in the wrong clothes and Danny trying hard not to laugh.

Danny grinned at him.  "Got an infusion of Abby?"

"I got a hug and a great kiss."

"Good for you, Harry.  I'll make sure she gets back.  Go get less dusty somewhere the house elf won't scream."

"Not my fault Alex had to dust something in the dirty and nasty tomb, repeatedly.   It kept coming back!"  He disappeared at Danny's amused look.

Danny looked at them.  "Okay, guys.  Let's work on this.  Don, start with power flows and work out from there.  You passed your beginning curse breaker stuff already."  He nodded and started working his way through what it could be.  Danny went to take another shower.  Because even with a 'no smelling' charm he could still smell his own stink.  Stella came in with the fresh lemons, a huge bag of them.  There'd be enough for them and Mac unless they decided to soak in it.

Don finally found the link and studied it, then broke it.  Dawn twitched at that.  He broke the link that one had been hiding too.  Then he glared at her.  "Those had better fit me or Alex is buying me new ones."

"I only did the fitting charm, Don.  Chill out."  She switched their clothes back to what the other was wearing and undid both fitting charms, making him smile.  "Do the other one now.  It should be in your closet."  He got up to look, coming out with it since he couldn't undo the fitting spell.  She did and he was once again a happy person.  She stood up but Don hugged her.  "Can I come work with you?"

"Today I got to miss lunch, chase three people down, had to pounce on one in garbage so he wouldn't run into a really busy street and get hit.  Got accused by him of being too rough so I've got a good few days with the stupid bastards down in IAB for that.  Plus paperwork, plus the other open cases, plus the lack of lunch since mine got taken and a new tip came in when I went out to get lunch.  I basically passed out from hunger at my desk before that happened.  Or you could go be as dirty and nasty as Harry is.  Don't you have a break coming up?"

"Soon," she sighed, hugging him again.  "I realize the drawbacks but I'm bored stupid, Don."

"Then beg Alex to find you a special project, Dawnie.  That you're not bored as stupid."  She nodded and went back to cuddling him.  "Nearly as good as Ron?" he teased.

"Yup and he's apparently as nasty as Harry was with a broken arm.  I haven't heard anything in a week from them."

"That might be why."

"Maybe."  She snuggled in better and yawned. "You're very comfortable."

"You nap if you wanna," he agreed, sitting them back down.  She curled against his side and he got to pet her dog and the dragon.  He even sent Tony a thought that Keelian was there in case Gibbs wanted to see him.  He liked the dragons.  "Did you hear how Beaua came to me at work?"  He looked down, finding her asleep.  "Hogwarts must be pretty noisy," he soothed, stroking over her hair. "No rest for the wicked."

Mac came in and smiled at the pretty picture they made, taking an actual one of them.  "What happened?  I heard the swearing."

"Hers and my clothes suddenly switched."

"Okay.  Any idea why?"

"Fixed.  Mac, no offense, but go get lemon scented please?  You stink and I need ta eat.  I can't with how you stink."  He nodded, going that way.  "Burn those clothes too!"

"I'll wash them with descenters, Don," he promised.

"Yeah, like that's helped so far."  He wrinkled his nose, shuddering some.  Dawn yawned at him.  "Sorry about the stink.  Really rotted bodies in an old sewer pipe."

"Ewww."

"So, you wanna be a CSI?" he teased.

"No.  Never did and I'm sure I don't now," she promised.  Her nose wrinkled again.  "Can we hop somewhere else?"

"Sure."  He sent a thought at them saying he was going to go visit Speed.  Speed sent back an 'I'm home come on down'.  So they left with the dog and the dragon.  He grinned at them, handing over Dawn when she moved to hug him with a yawn.  "Thanks.  Six gooey dead bodies in an old sewer pipe."

"Been there, done that," Speed promised, letting Dawn sit down and fall back asleep.  "Long day?"

"Actually I think it's the anti-skipping spell on Hogwarts," Don admitted.

That got a grin.  "Thankfully our school never could figure out one of those or someone broke it for us."  He patted Dawn's dog on the head.  "Hey, Midnight."  He barked and wagged his tail.  "Good boy!"  He lapped him then crawled into his mommy's lap to let her cuddle him like she usually did when she slept.  Him being a chow meant he was a good size for a cuddle.  "And you as well, Keelian."  The dragon steamed happily and found a patch of sun on the table to lay in, sighing in pleasure while he basked.  He grinned.  "Come help me in the kitchen.  Eric'll be home soon."

"Please, God, let me nibble," Don begged while he followed him.  He washed his hands.  "Taps got mad because Harry was dirty."

"They can do that.  Scrubby would've thrown an absolute fit."  That got a smile.  An OCD elf for an OCD wizard, it worked out well.  Speed let Don nibble on some of the veggies he was using for the salad while they cooked the meat and rice together.  He kept an ear out for Danny but he was still scrubbing with lemon juice.  "Doorstop?" he called.  She popped in with pins in her mouth.  "Helping Eric's mother?"  She nodded, smiling at him.  "Good girl.  When you're done, go help Taps with Danny, Mac, and Stella please?  They had a really smelly set of bodies today and even lemon juice can't remove it."  She nodded eagerly and went back to helping with her first job, getting Scrubby to go up first.  If anything needed cleaned, Scrubby was the house elf to call.  Scrubby told her to bring up something when she came so when she got the dress pinned, she did that.  They were smelly people today.  But this house elf cleaning potion worked very well, even on peoples.

Eric came home and smiled at Dawn.  "We have guests?" he asked, taking a kiss.

"Somehow hers and my clothes got switched," Don said dryly.  "I was taking a quick nap at my desk while I passed out from hunger and woke up in her uniform."

Eric gaped then burst out laughing.

"Not funny, Eric," he called.  "Unless you wanna end up in a skirt too?"

"No thanks.  It's very cute that you did though.  Anyone get pictures?"

"No."  He glared at him and pulled his wand to change his clothes into it for him.  "Ha."  He went back to helping cook.

Eric looked at himself, then at him.  "No fair!"

Horatio and his nephew both came in and Ray Junior blinked.  "I thought the skirts in New York were short."  Eric stomped off.  "Cute legs, Eric.  No wonder you got so many women back in the day."

His uncle patted him on the back.  "Play with the dragon, Ray."  He walked into the kitchen, making Speed smile and kiss him.  "I heard, Don.  Change them back."  Don sighed and undid it.  "At least he won't laugh anymore."  He gave him a hug and Don hugged back.  "It'll be fine and we'll send Dawn home in a few minutes."  He nodded and went back to nibbling and helping Speed.  "Missed lunch?"

"You didn't hear that rant?"

"It was at a lower volume so I managed to block it out," he admitted.

"Someone stole mine and I had ta chase someone down and pounce 'em into some trash bags instead.  So I got a new complaint against me, no lunch, and then that when I passed out from hunger.  Plus the other three are really smelly."

"It happens," he promised.  "We're having Ryan over, Speed."

"I heard you earlier, H.  Go change."  Horatio went to take off his suit and get into more casual clothes.  Dockers and a less formal shirt.  Speed looked at him.  "See, not an imposition at all."  He heard a pop and looked out, finding Philip Callahan, former priest and now Headmaster of Hogwarts, standing in the living room.  "They stunk so he brought her down here."

"That's fine," he said in his own gentle Irish accent.  "I tried up there first."  He smiled at them.  "Did you need her for something?  I know she's bored."

"Philip, hers and my clothes changed earlier while I was at work," Don complained.  "I ended up in her uniform."   Philip gave him an 'I'm sorry for you' look and a pat on the arm.  It was nice he didn't laugh.  "She's very bored."

"I heard.  I'm gonna let her do some cursed books we've got stored this weekend.  There's a lot of little projects like that around the school.  We've been waiting for a trainee cursebreaker to do 'em for us," he assured Don, making him smile.  He applied the anticharm, making Midnight woof quietly.  "Good day to you as well, Midnight.  Time to come back to the school now."  The dog climbed down, waking Dawn up.   "Dawn?"

She blinked up at him.  "Sorry, needed a nap."

"It's the anti-sneaking off charms," Speed told her, smiling from the kitchen.  "Go ahead and head back since it's fixed.  He's even found a way for you to not be bored."

"Finally!"  She stood up and gathered her dog, looking at the dragon on the table.  "Keelian, Apple's having her egg.  Come see?"  The dragon growled.

"I don't think he likes baby anythings," Don said dryly.  He petted the dragon, getting a content sound.  "Go back to the school."

The dragon growled again and Ray Junior came over to look at him.  "You're a dragon?  I thought you'd be bigger and meaner."

"He's only a wee one," Philip assured him.  He looked at Don.  "Make sure he gets back tonight or early tomorrow somehow."  Don nodded and he left with Dawn and her dog.

Ray Junior came closer to look over the beast.  Keelian lunged up and licked him up the face, making him shriek.  The dragon just smirked and laid down again.  "Fine, I won't look at your scales."

Horatio held in a laugh until he made it back upstairs to help Eric out of the skirt that didn't have a zipper or elastic.  Eric pouted.  "The dragon's staying for a bit."

"Okay."  He finally got free and put on shorts and a t-shirt, heading back down to look at the new creature.  It licked him too, making him groan and go clean his face.

"I think that's a 'you're blocking my sun, human'," Don called.  He moved behind the dragon to pet him and he seemed to like that so Ray Junior came to look him over that way.  The dragon only sighed as they petted him.  He looked at Ray.  "He's a good dragon.  He adopted Ron in Brazil.  Couldn't eat him so he decided Ron was mommy."  Ray snickered at that.  The other one came in the back door so he glared at him.  "Hey, Speed, another visitor."

"Charming.  There'll be extra."  Someone knocked.  "That's probably Ryan, let him in."

Don went to answer the door.  "Yelina."  He let her in.  "Watch out, Keelian's on the table."

"What's a Keelian?"

"He's a baby dragon," her son said, nodding her over.  She smiled at the lizard stretched out, petting him too.  At least until the dragon got up and stretched, then looked at her and started to wiggle his way down her shirt.

"What are you doing!" she screeched.  She was trying to stop him but he was slicker than he looked.

"Most baby dragons are shirt divers.  Stomachs remind them of how mommy dragons growl," Don offered. He went back to helping Speed cook.  "How long should it be before they don't stink?"

"Days," he said dryly.

"What made them stink?" Eric asked.

"Six bodies in an old sewer pipe," Don said, nibbling on a piece of carrot Speed had handed him.

"Eww," Yelina said.

"Yeah, that's why I'm down here," he agreed.  The new person came over to help her get the dragon out but she slapped him.  "Buddy, maybe you shouldn't do that," he said firmly, hand on his gun.  "Before I shoot you or something, okay?"

"It's the meth infected sperm donor," Ray Junior told him.  "They used to be his to play with."  He punched his father.  "There, now I'm no longer torn between giving you a hug for being alive and kicking your ass."   He looked at the lump of dragon.   "Mom's not amused, Keelian, you might wanna come out before you're grounded too."

She looked down her shirt, then headed into the bathroom to take it off and remove him and his tail that had wrapped itself around her waist and down the back of her pants.  She kicked him out of the bathroom so she could put it back on, doing up an extra button this time.

Ryan was let in by Ray Junior.  "Hi again."  He handed him something.  "Here, for your studies."

"Thanks."  He sat down to look at the new book.  "Watch out for the crawling one."

Ryan looked.  "I've heard stories about you, Keelian.  Already crawled down someone's shirt?"  The dragon climbed up the table leg and back onto the sunny spot, going back to basking.  "You need a day on the beach," he teased, petting him gently.  "What can I do to help?"

Horatio came back down.  "We're going over what we're doing about the trial starting tomorrow," Horatio reminded him.  He looked at the dragon.  "We'll be eating there soon.  You can't have it."  The dragon growled at him.  He pushed him off the table, getting an offended look.  "My sunny spot.  Go lay on the back porch."  He opened the door and the dragon found that the wood was warm so he laid out there instead.  He let Calleigh in and gave her a kiss on the cheek.  "Watch out for Keelian."

"He likes stomachs," Yelina said from her spot in a chair, staring at her husband.

"Stomachs are nice to rest on," she said happily enough.  She handed over what she had brought, a pie, getting a smile from the trio and Ray Junior.  "So, what's up?"

"The trial starts tomorrow," Ryan told her.  "I'm not sure why Don's down here."

"Stinky people at home after a body dump in an older sewer pipe," Don called.

"Ah.  No wonder my elf left to help."  Don nodded at that.  "I hope she can, Don."

"If not, I'll go see if Tony needs cuddled tonight.  Keelian likes Gibbs almost as much as Beaua does."

"What is Keelian?" Ray Senior asked.

"A baby dragon," Don told him.

"So you're like Horatio?"

"Yup.  Only I'm a cursebreaker trainee."

"Huh?" Ray Junior asked, looking at him.  "Is that hard?"

"Yes, and dirty most of the time.  When Harry showed up with Dawn Taps started to nag him for being so dirty."

"Oh.  Never mind."  He went back to his reading.

"But hey, I got sent a dragon egg.  I've got a cult," Don said fondly, smiling at Horatio.  "I'm a blessed man."

"You are," Horatio agreed.  "Your local cult members are very nice and helpful.  That one took a deal for life instead of death and they were very helpful through it."

"Good.  I'm hoping that one girl gets into a good school."  He finished his chopping and handed it over to Speed, who smiled and added it to the pot he was working on.  "Anything else I can do?"

"Not yet."

Calleigh squealed as the dragon dove down her shirt, trying to get it out.

"We warned you," Ray Junior said dryly.  "When Dawn took me shopping she said he does it to her all the time."

"Beaua doesn't but then again she likes Gibbs more and he's not really focused on breasts," Don agreed.  "That one adopted Ron so maybe it's the personality of those they adopt?"

"No, all baby dragons are that way," Horatio assured him.  "Beaua's being fussy about her pick of stomachs to listen to."

"Oh.  Well I guess that's understandable.  Once you've had Dawn, Ginny, Luna, Abby, and Greg's wife Emilia, there's not much higher ta go."

"Keelian doesn't like Ginny or Luna's chests," Speed reminded him.  "Danny said so and that they don't stink.  Taps?"  Taps showed back up.  "Do they still smell?"  He sighed and nodded, getting something and heading back.  "Looks like Tony might need cuddles tonight after all, Don."

"He's a good one ta cuddle," he said with a small shrug and a grin.  "Doesn't hog the bed and lets me be an octopus."

"True, you can be."

"Hey, Don, how do you do the animagus stuff?" Ryan called.

"It's a potion to key the change, some work to see what you are inside, and then you mentally say the quiet words."  He changed to a dog and walked over to let him pet him or test him, however he wanted.  Ryan smiled and petted him but also checked his magic.  He groaned because Ryan had nearly as good of fingers as Tony did.

Horatio shook his head, going to help Speed.  He got shooed out.  "I can cook."

"I do it better.  Go start the briefing.  I'll be there in ten more minutes."  He went back to cooking, looking at Horatio's brother when he came in to get some water.  "Have a bad day?"

"Not really.  I have enough evidence to bust the last people I'm working on."

"Even better."  Someone pounded on the door.  He changed Ray Senior into a mouse and put him on his son's lap, letting him hand him to his mother while Horatio got the door.  The US Marshal on the other side didn't look happy.  "What's going on?"

"I'm here after a fleeing suspect," he said, stepping inside.  He looked at Horatio.  "Lieutenant, this may come as a shock but someone's said they've seen your brother in Miami and he's escaped federal custody."

"Was he being charged?" Yelina asked.

"No, ma'am, I think he's turned evidence on someone.  I was told he was a suspect but the rest of the discussion on him sounded more like they were protecting him."

"He hasn't been here," Ray Junior said, not looking up from his book.  "Sorry, dude.  If I see him, I'll kick him in the nuts then hand him over."

"Thank you, sir."  He looked at Horatio.  "Have you seen him, Lieutenant?  We tracked him coming here earlier."

"Not yet.  You can search the house if you want."  He nodded, going to do that while Horatio closed the door.   Then he had to let him out when he didn't find him.  "I hope you do find him and I would like to know what's going on," he ordered.

"As do I, Lieutenant. Thank you for your indulgence and call me if he should appear," he ordered, handing over the card.  "Perhaps you can find out from him."  He walked back out to the car.  They'd be watching the house just in case.  After all, they had been brothers.

Speed looked at the mouse.  "I can't change you back without him seeing you but I can do something so you can speak."  The mouse glared at him so he turned him into a house elf.  Yelina pushed him off his lap.  "There."  He walked off muttering.

Don looked at him.  "At least you didn't give him clothes."

"No, not hardly."  He went to check on dinner then came back out.  "Okay, we've got twenty minutes until food.  Calleigh, hate to say it, but can you remove him?  I'm having mental images of what you'd look like pregnant."  She growled at him.  "It does."

"It does," Eric agreed, smiling at her. "Did I tell you Marisol is?"

"You hadn't," she said, getting up to retreat to the bathroom to remove him and then put her shirt back on.  She came out and Yelina gave her a sympathetic look.  "You too?"

"Immediately when he saw me.  Go lay outside, Keelian.  It's warmer."  He huffed but went back to laying in the sun.

"Someone could put on those earrings," Speed offered with a bright grin.  "Give him a comfy resting spot?"

Ryan glared at him.  "It had better not be me."

"No, I was thinking Eric.  He and Keelian could appreciate the breasts together."  His head rocked from Tony complaining about that mental image.  "Sorry, Tony said that would be nearly as bad as him doing it again."  He grinned at Eric. "You wouldn't mind, right?"

"Yes I would.  My mother would make me marry one of you within the day."

"Probably very true," Horatio agreed.  "Who did she decide Marisol was marrying?"

"I think she's going to come ask you tomorrow, H."

"I'm seeing you.  That might get awkward with the four of us in the same bed."  Calleigh blushed at that.  "Didn't realize?"

"Wasn't wanting to know, boss."

He smiled.  "Thank you, Calleigh."  He went to check on dinner then came back out.  "All right, we've all seeing the information we've been able to dig up, correct?"  They all nodded.  "Any thoughts?"

"Can't Speed stick Tony in those earrings?" Ryan asked.

"He'll get stuck permanently if we do any gender reassignment on a long term or linking into his magic basis," Speed told him.  "Then he'd have to marry someone protective, like Gibbs, to save him from his family."  He looked at Horatio again.  "But I could do a great set for you.  Eric?"

Eric looked at him like he was insane.  "Do we need to do something special to make you sane?  Did Alexx not bring you back correctly?"

"He was always like that according to the thought Tony just sent down," Don said dryly.  "It used to be him and Tony against Danny when they pranked each other."

"We were powerful, bored, creative, and had read most of the library.  We turned Danny into a real zombie for almost three hours one day because we were bored.  Got us out of creatures."

Yelina looked at her brother-in-law.  "Did your class do that?" she asked patiently.

"No, but we were known for going to visit strip clubs in Times Square," Horatio admitted.  Ray Junior giggled at that and Ray Senior came back in one of Horatio's t-shirts.  "Ray."

"Brother Master."  He covered his mouth and glared at Speed.

"Had ta make it look realistic," he said with a bright grin.  "Anyone want drinks?" he asked as he headed for the kitchen.

Ryan looked at Eric.  "We need to protect each other from him."

"If he does that to me, he's not getting sex for a month.  We'll tie him to the couch and make him listen."  Horatio gave him an amused look.  "I will!"

"Unlike you I can go a month without sex," Speed called.  "I've went longer in the past, Eric."

"Crap," he muttered.

"It was a good threat," Calleigh assured him.  She saw the sneaking dragon and held down the top of her shirt since she didn't have more buttons to do up.  "Have we figured out what they're fishing for yet, Horatio?"

"Not yet," he admitted, sitting down.  The dragon settled in his lap, giving him a 'pet me' look.  He stroked him a few times then quit.  The dragon steamed.  He glared at him.  "You have been taught manners by Dawn."  The dragon settled in to be adored, as was proper.  He went back to it, looking at her.  "I'm not sure what we'll be asked.  They could be fishing for information about Speed.  They could be fishing for information to discredit the lab.  If they ask, start off with 'I'm not sure since I didn't process any of the evidence' or something similar as it fits the question."

Ryan nodded.  "I found the lawyers going at it," he admitted.  "I haven't been able to scry one.  He's in a protected building.  One of the ancient ones that's built with special framework and the like."

"Like the one in Ghostbusters?" Ray Junior asked, looking up from his reading.  Ryan nodded.  "I didn't know you could do that."

"You can.  Magical architecture is a very diverse and somewhat theoretical field."  Ray nodded at that and went back to reading.

"Danny's got a book on the top few examples of magical architecture and what makes them so special if you wanted to borrow it, Ray," Speed offered.  "The trio's library is pretty diverse."

"I haven't seen that in ours," Don said, looking confused.

"It's not, we have one hidden space left and it's there.  We've had to hide others there in the past."  He looked at Horatio.  "He wouldn't care, right?"

"He can't get in without us sending him," Tony said as he appeared.  He looked at Don.  "I've had a crappy day.  We didn't get to the hostage in time."

"Then I'm yours to cuddle while Danny stinks."  That got a gentle smile.  "Thanks for hiding me from the stench, guys.  Keelian, coming?"  He swished his tail but didn't move.  "Okay."  He went with Tony, going to cuddle him because he needed it.  He'd had days like that too.

Horatio smiled at his family and lab.  "Okay.  Speed, dinner?"

"Soon.  We noticed I wasn't called even though they know I'm back?"  Everyone nodded.  Ray the house elf came out with drinks, still grumbling that he was feeling the need to serve others.

***

Calleigh cornered Horatio before she left, looking at him and the dragon lounging on his shoulders.  "Horatio, what did you need the letter for?" she asked quietly.

He looked at her.  "Someone moved his body."

"Are we moving it back?"

He shrugged. "I'm not sure yet, Calleigh.  We're still trying to figure that part out."  He gave her a hug.  "It'll be all right and I think I gave it back, right?"

"You did.  Ryan made some very small cuts.  Thank you."  She looked at him.  "Is he like Ray?" she asked quietly.

He sighed, looking at her.  "No."  She slumped.  "He was done like Speed."  She looked at him.  "He's in their hidden spot," he admitted.  "I'm sorry, Calleigh.  I have no idea what is going on."

"Who?" she whispered.

"Willow."

"Can we change her back from the book to kick her around some?"

Ryan came out and shut the door.  "According to what I got off Dawn when she asked her, she thought it'd make others happier," he told her, coming over to stand on her other side.

"I'm...."

"I know," Ryan agreed.  "Right now the memories and the reality are colliding along with the fantasy person you built up from the happy memories."  She nodded at that.  "For right now, think.  Then we'll figure other things out."  She nodded, going home.  He looked at Horatio.  "I know someone who can dream walk, should I ask them to try?"

"No.  For now, stick with the plan, Ryan."  He nodded, heading off too.  He looked at the dragon, who was staring at him.  "What?"  The dragon swished his tail and let out a bit of steam, then looked up.  "Hmm.  It's dark over here when it's sunny at home.  Want to go home?  It'll be sunny there soon."  The dragon nodded so he sent him home as a portkey.  He went back inside, going to clean up the mess.  "Yelina, do you want the other one?"

"Not really," she admitted.  "I'm still thinking."

"That's fine.  Ray, are you staying?"

"If I could.  I've got tomorrow off so I was thinking about going out to the club tonight?" he offered hesitantly.  His mother shook her head. "I'll be safe."

"No, son."

"Sorry, mom."  He looked at him then at his mother.  "Should I come home?"

"You can.  I'm calmed down again."  He nodded, taking his new book up to grab his trunk of things and bring it back down.  "Must you bring that?"

"Mom, we've already had one person break into the house," he pointed out.  She sighed and nodded, letting him bring it. "Night, Uncle Horatio, Speed, and Eric."

"Night," Speed called, waving at him.  He smiled at his boyfriends.  "Bed?"

"Bed," Horatio agreed.  Eric raced up the stairs, making them both smile.  "Ray, find a bed and rest," he ordered, following once he had made sure the house was locked up tightly.

Ray the house elf settled on the couch.  He knew he deserved to be punished but this was more than he deserved!  The one who lived here popped back and gave him an odd look.  "Speed sir changed me."

Taps hugged him.  "At least yous is being a male house elf and not female house elf.  Otherwise others might want to get into house elf cuddle pile with yous."  He went to check the kitchen then do the dishes.

Ray senior shuddered in horror and cuddled himself to ward off that thought.  He didn't deserve that either!

Slightly Evil Minions

Mac looked over at Danny when he walked into the station.  "We have a murder in the Plaza hotel," he said.

"Let me get my case," he agreed, going to do that.   He hated working Plaza cases.  They always tried to keep things very quiet, including making them go up the service elevators so none of the 'right people' would see that someone had died.  He came back with his case and his official jacket, getting a smile.  "What floor?"

"36th."  He led the way out to the SUV he had checked out for the case, getting in to drive.  Danny may get to be alpha dog at home but Mac always got to drive when it was just the two of them.  It was a fairly quiet drive.  Danny turned on the radio to get updates on the traffic mess that was downtown Manhattan.  They parked in the service parking lot and headed up on the service elevator, running into security.  "Taylor and Messer, Crime Lab," he introduced.

"Inside please," he said, glancing around.  "The resident is waiting on you."

"Sure."  Danny walked in and paused, staring at the guy.  "Right," he said dryly, smirking just a bit.

"Overlord!" the man said, hopping up and coming over to give him a hug.  "You're a CSI?"

"Me and all three of us really," he admitted.  "Your room, Rhyse?"  He nodded.  "You know the vic?"

"Not a clue, Overlord.  I feel like I've met him but I don't know who he is.  I walked in and he was there."  He looked a bit helpless.  "I have no clue what is going on.  I went down for tea."

Danny looked at him.  "You're not lying to me, right?  'Cause this is my case and if you do you're gonna be in deep shit, Rhyse."

"No, Overlord."

"Good.  Now, you did what when you came in?"

"I saw him laying there, I ran over to check his pulse.  I grabbed the phone on the desk and I said something like 'guys there's a dead guy in my room'.  I checked it again, then I sat down until the security guys got here.  They checked him then called you while I was sitting down."

"Good," Mac agreed.  "You didn't touch anywhere on the body other than the neck area?"

"No," he said, then he looked at Danny.  "New minion?"

Danny grinned.  "Eeeehhh, no."  Because the look Mac gave him said he'd better say no.  "Coworker, friend, etc and so forth."  That got an understanding smile.  "You keep in touch with any of the other minions?"

"Now and then," he admitted, sitting in the chair Danny pointed at.  "I heard about Speed."

"Not quite the end of that story.  See, there's a really nice lady named Alexx down there who adopted Speed when he went to work for Horatio.  He's still working for Horatio."

"Caine?  Like the house's keeper?"

"Yup, just like him," Danny agreed smugly, putting on gloves.  "We've even got a fun team going on.  Me, my two head underlings, him, a few missed students."  That got a stare of awe.  "One's a student of Dumass so we play against him, his other students, and his friends.  Then again, Don and I play inter-city too."  His minion whimpered.  "You'd like Don."

"I take it you two went to school together?" Mac asked.

"Yeah.  My minions of Mildly Evil Naughtiness were inter-house too."  He grinned.  "We were the second originally cooperative group.  The other's the study area."  He got down to look at the body.  "Slit wrists."

"So he committed suicide?" the guard asked.

"Know who he is?" Danny countered.

"Um, yeah.  He's one of our busboys," he admitted.

"That's probably why you thought you might recognize him, Rhyse.  You saw him in the hall somewhere."  He looked at his minion.  "Ordered room service or something."

"Sure.  I can agree with that.  What's Tony doing?"

Danny snickered.  "He's a Fed now.  NCIS.  He's basically doing the same thing only for Marine and Navy guys."

"Wow.  My book collecting pales by that."

"Nah, the world needs book collectors, Rhyse," Danny assured him.  "Someone's gotta horde the knowledge and keep it from the stupid people who're scared of it."

"True," he agreed, giving him a sheepish look and a slight blush.  "How's your collection?"

"Still intact.  It surprises me every time I walk in there, then I realize it was Speed who was the real book nerd.  I read 'em all but he bought most of it."  That got a higher-pitched giggle.  He grinned at Mac.  "No ME?"

"Not yet," he agreed.  He looked at the cut.  "There's something wrong with them."

"Yeah, they go up," Danny pointed out.

"Up?"

"You gonna slit your wrists you do it wrist to elbow usually, right?"  Mac nodded, seeing what he was saying.  "This guy, elbow to wrist.  Not a real sharp blade it looks like either."  He looked over.  "Either of you see a pretty dull knife?"

"The room service cart up the hall had one but he ordered steak," the security guard offered.  Danny nodded, going to collect that one.   He looked at Mac.  "I'm used to seeing you and Stella.  She on vacation, Mac?"

"No.  It was Danny's turn to show off," he said with a smile.  He smiled at Danny's buddy too.  "He's a very good CSI."

"Where did you go to school?"

"Chicago."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "I didn't think I recognized you and I was on the yearbook committee."  He leaned over with a hand held out.  "Rhyse Parkham-Jones."

"Mac Taylor.  I can't really shake your hand with the gloves on."

"Oh, sorry.  I collect books, I was never good in anything like this stuff," he said with a hand flick.  He looked at the guard.  "They can't charge me if he got blood on the carpet, right?"

"Not unless you killed him, sir," the guard assured him.

Danny came in with the bagged knife and one other one from another cart.  "Found another one up the hall.  Mac, didn't Stella say your last one was in this room too?"

"It was," Mac agreed, thinking back.  "Are you thinking the killer likes this room or that they're related?"

"Or maybe he's got a card key for this room?"

"I'll check our records," the guard assured him, calling down to the office on his cellphone, that way no one could overhear that something like this had happened here.  He looked at the guest.  "Sir, you're staying for how many more days?"

"Three," he admitted, giving him a small smile.  "I won't be difficult if you want to move me to another room, nor will I mention it except to my wife."  That got a smile and he added that before hanging up.  "I'm mostly packed, should I?"

"Let me go through that room first," Danny ordered.  Rhyse kept sitting there.  "Good boy," he offered with a grin.

"I remember the last time I disobeyed an order of yours, Overlord."

Danny shrugged a bit.  "Sorry I was so hard on you."

"My wife appreciates that you broke my snotty brat phase as she calls it," he said with a small grin.   "I can't believe Tony's a Fed."

"He's a senior agent, second in command of his team, which is one of the best in the agency," Danny told him.  That got a smile.  "Still just as fashionable and tells just as many bad jokes too."  That got a giggle and a nod.  "We really should hold a reunion."

"We should but with the dreadful thing that happened with the headmistress...."  Mac gave him a look.  "You heard?"

"I made sure of it," Danny promised.  "Got it all back too, baby."  Rhyse shivered.  Danny winked and got back to work.  "Can we roll him yet or should we wait for an ME?"

"Let's wait for now."

"They're in the elevator," the guard offered.  He opened the door and let them inside, nodding at the body handlers and the ME.  "All yours."

"Thank you," Sid said with a smile.  "I always love seeing the rooms here."  He got down to check on him.  "Wrists split up instead of down.  Interesting.  Dull blade."  He checked a few other things.  "Petechia in his eyes.  Strangled and then bled it looks like."  He got Mac's help rolling the body and looked at his chest and the puddle underneath.  "How thick is the padding?"

"Inch and a half," the guard said.  "We know from past experiments it absorbs at a liter a foot and a half."

Mac pressed around and nodded.  "Not much blood."  That got a sigh of relief.  He smiled at the guard.  "It'll be okay.  I would like to know how many other murders have been in this room.  It'll be faster coming from your office than ours."

"That's fine.  Someone's compiling the records now, Detective Taylor.  You should have them by the time you go home."  The ME got out of the way and the body was bagged up and taken down with him.  "If you want the carpet, go ahead and take it up.  We'll have to replace it anyway."  That got a nod and they did that for him too.  That way they knew how much blood had been spilled.  "Sir, can he pack his things yet?"

"Yeah," Danny agreed, going in there with him.  He looked at everything then at his minion.  "Anything look touched to you?"

"No, nothing that I see, Overlord."  He stared around, casting something quietly then shook his head.  "Everything's in the same spot relative to the picture I took last night for the wife."

"Okay.  Pack quick and they'll get you a new room."  That got a nod and he did the packing spell, watching as his things floated out of the bathroom.  "Even better."  He carried one bag out then went to check the bathroom for anything that hadn't come out.  There was a rose in there in a small vase.  "Rhyse?"  He came back to the doorway.  "Flower in the bathroom?"

"Ah, a beautiful young escort last night that I bought that for," he said with a smile.  "She said it wasn't her thing so I kept it."

"Want it for the wife?"

"Dear Merlin no," he snickered.  "She'd kill me."  He smiled and walked out with the guard, going to his new room.  He didn't even have to go to the desk to get changed out, they did it in the elevator.  The manager met them in there.  It was first notch service in his book.

Danny printed things in there just in case, then he came out.  "Cleaning crew is excellent here.  I only got four real prints in the bathroom and bedroom."  Mac smiled at that.  "Usually you find hundreds."

"The Plaza is like that," he agreed.  He gathered one last print and looked at him.  "We'll need his to eliminate them."  Danny handed over the bagged vase and flower, getting a smile.  "That'll work.  Minion?"

"Minion.  Senior year," he admitted with a grin.  He bagged the carpet and padding and sealed it.  Mac gathered his things and they headed down to the SUV.  The guard met them in the elevator.

"Three days, like usual," Mac ordered.

"Of course, Detective. If we can be of any help, let us know.  Here's the information you wanted and the tapes for the last four hours."  He handed over that bag, a canvas one with the Plaza logo on it. "I do hope we don't have to see you again professionally for at least a year."

"Us too," Danny assured him, nodding politely.  "Thanks for the help."

"Not an issue, sir."  He watched them leave then called his boss. "They're gone.  They requested we keep it sealed at least three days."  He got back an 'okay' and went back to make sure the room was locked up tightly and none of that hideous tape had been left outside the room.  Their clientele would not appreciate seeing that.

***

Tony suddenly started to snicker, leaning on Ziva's arm.  "Sorry, Danny ran into one of our minions."  He kept giggling even after she pushed him off.

"Minion?" McGee asked, looking at him. "You had minions?"

He grinned at him.  "No, Danny had minions.  We were his second in commands over the rest of the minions."  He smiled as Gibbs came in.  "We have a case yet, boss?"

"Not yet," he admitted.  "What's the joke this time?"

"Oh, Danny just ran into one of our minions."

Gibbs thought about that for a second.  "I can see Danny being an evil overlord sort."

"They were the Minions of Mildly Evil Naughtiness.  Only Speed and I got to be Minions of Evil Goodness."

"What year was this?"

"Senior year.  After that ...fight in the school, Danny basically pulled a lot of crap to pull us all back together, boss.  He got a lot of inter-house cooperation and everything.  He just ran into our note-taking and research minion.  He's the one that kept the updated library list and the notes we made and translated the ones we had stored from verbal into written accounts.  A good quarter of the library is his notes."

Gibbs cracked a small smile at that.  "I can't believe you studied."

"You'd be surprised what I studied, boss," he said with a smug look.  "There's a reason why we three were on the front lines of the fight when it came to us."  He stared him down and got a nod. "But some of Danny's ideas were taken down too.  I really should get into the plans for Mild Evil.  The truly evil ones were sealed by Speed just in case Danny snapped some day but the mildly evil ones should be just about fun," he said, glaring up at the director's doorway.  "Hey, boss, I'm running out for lunch if we don't have anything.  Bring you back anything?"

"Food."

"Sure."  He checked the clock on his computer then looked at his boss, who glared at him.  "I know it's only eleven."  He got to work on his next game of solitaire.  He didn't feel like rating college butts today for some reason.  Maybe he was going gayer today.  It had happened in the past....  Then again, maybe he should get into the truly evil plans with the way the 'boss monitor' McGee installed for them all was going off.  "I've got a blinking light," he announced quietly.  He kept going.  He didn't have any paperwork he needed to catch up on.  Gibbs' phone rang and he looked over, smirking at his glower his way.  "I'm caught up, boss.  What did he want me to do, make up forms?"

"He said yes."

"I can take an early lunch," he said with a smile.

"No, DiNozzo."  He listened to the boss complain.  "He's caught up, Director.  Would you rather have him watching porn or rating college girls' asses?"  He hung up on the spluttering.  "Don't you dare," he ordered when Tony moved to change screens.  He didn't even have to look, he knew how his mind worked.

"I'm not even on a rate my butt site, Gibbs."  He did change screens to his email, finding a new one from Horatio, making him smile at it.  He answered and then looked at him.  "First day of testimony in that mock trial."

"Wish them luck for me, DiNozzo."

"Already did, boss.  Ryan's going first."  He went back to his solitaire game, making mental plans.  Speed smacked him once for thinking too loud so he let him know about the minion Danny had run into, making him cackle in the labs.  "Speed's amused by him running into a minion on a crime scene too, boss," he said jovially.  Gibbs threw something at him.  "Can I go to lunch now, boss?  The blinking light is annoying me."  He got onto a site he had bookmarked, making the man upstairs probably have a heart attack.  "Hmm, he logged off mine.  Must not have liked the cows."

"I hate that site," McGee moaned.  He heard the first moo from the speakers and moaned, shaking his head.  "Please, Tony?" he begged. "Anything but the cows copulating site?"

"Fine," he complained, going back to his game.

"Go to lunch, DiNozzo," Gibbs ordered.  Tony cackled and jogged to the elevator to go find that book in their library.  He walked over to turn off the cow site himself at the second moo.  He didn't want to watch cows copulate either.  Or hear them.

***

Speed burst out in cackles, making Eric and Frank both give him horrified look.  "Danny ran into one of our minions of Mildly Evil Naughtiness on a crime scene today," he said happily.  "You guys would've liked our minions."

Frank patted him on the back.  "Calm down, deep breaths, then go back to the Speed we all know and grunt at in annoyance when you're in a good mood," he said quietly.  Speed just smirked and winked at Eric, making him go pale and wobble.  "No, down off the evil kick, Speed.  Don't make us knock you out."  A quiet word behind them made him catch Speed.  "Horatio!"

"It's better this way, Frank.  Really."  He helped him put Speed onto the breakroom couch then covered him up with the blanket in there.  "He'll nap and be better in a while."  He looked at Eric.  "Calm down.  Their minions weren't that bad.  A few people in my year heard and cheered them on. It brought a lot of inter-house cooperation."  Eric shuddered and walked out nearly whimpering.  "He'll calm down later."

"Sure," Frank agreed patiently, patting him on the back.  "Let's keep the evil thoughts out of the office, Horatio.  Please."  He walked off, going to hide at his desk.  Maybe he had a good reason to leave the station for a bit.  Let them calm down off their cackling with evil kick again.

Horatio checked Speed then went back to his lab, going to help Speed's case for a while.  Calleigh gave him an odd look when he walked in and pulled on a lab coat.  "Speed's napping right now.  Danny ran into one of their minions earlier.  Speed was cackling."

"Ah.  That mood.  The last time he did that Yelina nearly cried," she reminded him.

"Eric went pale this time.  So apparently he heard since it was before he joined us."  She smiled at that and handed over a sample.  "Thank you, ma'am," he said with a smile.  They got down to work, waiting to hear from Ryan about what had went on.

***

Tony appeared on the crime scene and handed his boss his lunch.  "Food, edible, as requested, boss."  He put his book inside the truck and got some gloves, going to help them.  "What've we got, Probie?" he called as he walked over.

"Crap," he called.  "Lots and lots of it."

"Oh, yummy.  Glad I had lunch."  He looked at the field then at him.  "Horses, cows, or otherwise?"

"Goats believe it or not," Gibbs said from behind him.  "The body's on the other side.  We're doing a search to see if anyone stepped in one.  Take this side."

"Sure, boss.  But isn't the easier path from the driveway over there?" suggested, pointing it out.  Gibbs nodded.  "Work my way over then down?"

"That'll work, then quarter and cover the rest."  Tony nodded, going carefully that way to do that.  He did not want to slip nor did he want to step in anything.  "Should I confiscate that book, DiNozzo?"

"Only if you want to see Danny retrieve it, boss," he called back.  "It'll call out to him if you touch it."

"Whatever," he muttered, going to glance at it.  "Mildly Evil Plans," he read off the cover.  "Written under authority of the Overlord, Our Evil One Daniel.  Not to be tampered with outside the Minions or else great harm could fall.  Beware ye who are not a minion and have not been blessed by the Overlord."  He snorted and reached out but his phone rang.  "Messer," he said dryly, listening to the quiet warning about the curse laid on the book for those who weren't part of the group.  "Fine, I'll leave it alone.  No, it's here.  DiNozzo brought it back from lunch."  He smirked at his promise to spank Tony later for that.  "I think he was planning on needing it."  He nodded and left it there, hanging up when he did.  Not that he didn't like Tony using the evil plans on the pro-tem director - because the guy annoyed the hell out of him - but it wasn't very correct if he wanted to keep Tony employed on his team.  Tony came off the field looking disgusted.  "Slip and fall?"

"No, thankfully I was on the driveway when he yelled.  I warned you not to touch it."

"I didn't."

"Good!  Because Danny's the only one who can counter that."  He handed over the camera.  "Isn't that hummer treads?"

He looked and nodded. "Those are.  Driveway?"

"And off into the goat patties."  He took it back and went back to noting the trail for the others.  This was the exciting work, really it was.  It just made his day.

***

Danny leaned back at his desk, smirking a bit.  He was proofing his last report so it could be handed in.  Stella peeked in at him and he waved at her.  She slowly walked in.  "What?"

"Minions?"

"Of Mildly Evil Naughtiness.  Only Speed and Tony got to be true Minions of Evil for me," he agreed while he read.  "You should've seen Mac's face when the one we ran into asked if he was a minion."

"Not really.  I saw his face while he ranted for the last twenty minutes," she admitted, looking at him.  "I'm not considered one, right?"

He grinned at her, shaking his head.  "Nah, you're not a minion, Stel."  She smiled at that.  "Don maybe but not you."  She smiled brighter.  "We only allowed three females into the minions and they were all super talented.  It was part protection society and part way of getting around the stupid headmistress.  Girlfriends were given special seats of honor when they came to meetings."  She swatted him on the arm and walked off shaking her head.  He went back to proofing his reports, looking over when a book hit his desk.  He looked at it then smiled and caressed the brown leather.  "My poor baby."

***

Speed looked up and swallowed.  "Crap, someone sent Danny his backup copy of Evil Plans."  He got off the couch and headed up there, glaring at him.  "We locked that up for a reason, Danny," he reminded him.  "You agreed."

"I was thinking the Bunny named Rick and others," he said with an innocent smile.

"No," he said firmly.  "Or else I'm telling Tony.  Then I'll call Alex Dumass."  Danny shrugged and continued to caress it.  "Come on, give me the book, Danny."

Mac walked in with Lindsey.  "Hi, Speed.  Short hop?  Horatio's looking for you."

"We hid that book for a reason, Mac, and I can't grab it unless he hands it back.  It's protocol," he said, glancing at Lindsey.  "I need to hide that copy as well."

Mac looked at the cover then at Danny.  "Can I see?"

"No.  You're not anointed."

"Are we done playing games now so the rest of us can go back to work?" Lindsey demanded, snatching the book and handing it to Mac.  She walked off shaking her head.  "Sheldon, Danny's playing some game with a book of evil plans.  He said Mac couldn't have it because he wasn't anointed."  She heard the thunder and looked up at the skylight.  "The weather guy said it was going to be sunny all day," she said, frowning some.  "Well, at least I left my umbrella in my locker."  She went back to work.

Sheldon looked up at the clear and sunny sky, then shuddered and called Stella the mundane way.  "I think we're going to need help," he said quietly.  "Something about books of evil plans and Lindsey's apparently hearing thunder."  He hung up and went to where he knew Danny was working.  Speed was working on Mac.  He paused at the door and Danny nodded him inside.  "Is she going to die?"

"I don't know," Danny admitted.  "I never knew how strong I laid that one.  I know the only other person who tried to steal it tried to jump off the school."

"Flack's sister," Speed offered.  "She's got to believe in the magic to be uncursed. It's part of the curse."  He finished anointing Mac and the curse broke for him.  Don came jogging in.  "We've got him clear."

Don looked and fixed one thing, making Mac smile and relax again.  "Now it's fully unwound."  He glared at Danny.  "The other one?"

"Monroe," Sheldon said, looking at him.  "He laid it as a teenager?"  Danny grinned and nodded.  "She's doing better."

"I don't care.  I told him not to touch it.  She snatched it and took it."

"Danny's a bit possessive about his book of Evil Plans," Speed offered.  "We had to hide it the last time so he couldn't have it.  That way he could only get into the mildly evil plans and the tormenting and evil plans books."

Don gaped.  "Evil?"

"I was a good overlord," Danny defended.  "Our senior year."

"The meetings I never understood?"  Danny nodded.  Mac moaned at that.  "He okay?"

"He'll be fine.  The way I laid the curse on the book, she'll have to believe in the magic to have it removed or swear loyalty to me and be anointed.  We've got six hours to do it or else it'll start on her."

"She was seeing lightening," Sheldon told him.  Speed nodded. "It does?"

"You start out there for the first six hours.  Then you hear a chime, the rain comes, and you're pretty well screwed unless you swear loyalty at that point.  Don, go find her, knock her out so we can look her over."  Don took Sheldon with him.  "Danny," Speed complained.

"Someone sent me the book," he defended.

"Whatever."  He took it with him back to Miami, going to Horatio's office.  Frank and Horatio both looked at him.  "Don't touch the book," he ordered.  Frank pulled away.  Horatio gave him an odd look.  "It's cursed if you're not one of Danny's minions.  Monroe just got it. The only way out of it is to swear loyalty to Danny."  Horatio pointed at a filing cabinet drawer so he put it in there inside one of Horatio's extra shirts.  "I'll move it tonight so he can't have it back.  Every few months Danny gets some really nasty ideas and we used to keep track of them for him.  We had a whole series of books.  Mildly Evil Plans, Tormenting and Evil Plans, Mediumly Evil Plans, Plots, Plans and Terrors.  Then the book of Evil Plans that I'm hiding.  Because Danny nearly used one and almost got the school and the city shut down."  He walked off, going to send up a prayer to Hecate and then get back to work.

"You said Danny was the bad boy of the group," Frank said dryly.

"I'm sure I did, Frank."  He shook his head and went back over this case they were going to be testifying in tonight.  It had been moved back a few hours because Ryan had been in a small car accident.  There was no way he was touching that book.  He could hear Don worrying about the cure for Monroe.

***

At hour two of not being able to break Monroe free he called in the big guns. "Ron, can you please hand the phone to Alex?  I don't care if he's shagging Draco on the altar out in the caverns.  Please?  Because Danny laid a curse as a teenager and part of it is the belief in magic.  It's on Monroe."  That got a shudder and Ron went to find Alex Dumass for him, yelling out his name first so they could quit going at it before he had to watch him shag his boy.  "It's me, Alex.  Back when they were teenagers, Danny laid a curse on a book and Monroe grabbed it.  I can't break it.  I can't even figure out how he did it.  It's built on the belief of magic.  Please?  Even Speed telling me how he did it isn't helping.  Pretty please?  Thank you.  She's got four hours left.  The last one nearly jumped off a building for being defiant and doing it anyway.  Please?"  He smiled and nodded.  "Thanks.  She's here with me.  The book's with Speed and he said only the minions and those anointed to him could touch it.  Speed and Tony were both Danny's minions then, Alex," he said patiently.  "Yeah, Danny laid it.  I can't even tell the weave of it.  She's got four hours left.  Thank you."  He hung up and tried again to see how it was laid.

***

Alex Dumass looked down at his mate as he hung up his cellphone.  "Danny laid an unbreakable curse on a book that Monroe touched."

"Pity."

"Draco," he said, staring at him.  "Boys, let's go!  We're going to look at unholy curses that're unbreakable.  You don't often run into them but when you do they're nasty as shit."  He got off his husband and went to clean up and get dressed.

Draco climbed off the kitchen table with a groan, going to do the same.  "Damn it."  Alex came out and kissed him, working him off so he finished.  "Thank you, love."

"Welcome, Drac."  He grinned and headed out.  "Boys!"

"Outside," Ron called.  "Should we call Dawn?"

"No.  We won't need her."  He walked out and waited while Draco finished getting cleaned up and redressed, then he joined him.  "Okay.  You're all going to where Don is.  I'm going to examine the book because Speed has it."  He disappeared.

The three students groaned and went to see if they could help Don with her.  "Oh, Monroe, charming," Harry said when he saw who it was.  He didn't like her, she didn't like his Abby and seemed to not like Danny all that much.  "How bad is it?"

"Danny put it on a book of evil plans so only his minions and those who swore loyalty to him could touch it," Don offered. "It's been two and a half hours since it was cast, she's got a total of six hours before it fully takes effect and then only swearing loyalty will cancel it.  He said the last person was being defiant and nearly jumped off a building."  He hadn't known that but he'd be asking his sister later.  "When it starts to rain on her she's basically screwed."

"Okay," Harry agreed, looking at Ron and Draco.  "Can either of you feel or see anything?"

"I can feel the power of the web around her," Draco offered.  "I can't see it."

"I can't do either," Don admitted. "And I've been practicing before anyone says anything."

Harry looked and nodded.  "The power binding is back here on the back of her head.  It's a really complex knot.  It's almost a binding."  Ron looked and grimaced.  "That's really odd."

Danny brought in a book.  "If it helps it came from here.  Had to get it from the library."  That got a grin from Ron and Draco snatched the book to look through.  "Blue bookmark.  All my minions wore a blue ribbon."  Draco sat down to read it with Don reading over his shoulder.  "I warned her not to touch the book but I've never been able to take it off."

"I can see why," Harry complained. "How ancient is this?"

"Mesopotamia," Danny told him.  "We got into some freaky shit over the years in school."

"I can see that," Ron agreed dryly, giving him an odd look.  "It *feels* like the Gringott's curse we all took but I can't see a bloody thing."

Danny flipped her onto her side. "It settles here on the neck and the binding knot it right above it."   He tapped a spot.  "The stuff around it says here."

"It also said in the soul," Draco offered.  He sent that over the bond to Alex, making Methos choke and splutter about that stupid curse.  They all pumped him for information but he didn't have more than it had wiped out a priesthood at one point.  "Don said another had been afflicted?"

"My sister.  She swore loyalty to him after it took effect I guess."

Danny nodded.  "She did.  To the trio actually.  It was close enough.  She can't hurt us by word, deed, or action."  That got an odd look.  "It started out as a protection society and then I started going odd because of the grief.  Then I fell and it got worse.  In that book are plans to take over whole countries if I wanted to, Don."  That just got a nod.  "They decided I was going too odd so they took it away from me.  It was like a journal so I could get the bad ideas out.  That's why there's six or seven of the books overall."

"Like that one?" Ron asked.

"No.  We separated them out by levels and shit," Danny offered.  "Mildly evil plans that all the minions could touch.  Some tormenting ones, things like that.  Only Speed and Tony can touch them all.  Well, and now Mac because Speed fixed it that way for him."  He shrugged. "I was eighteen and grieving, guys.  I went really wrong in the head for a while.  The boys got me straightened out and the minions made me feel better and helped them hold me together.  Even if I did nearly get the city shut down once."  He walked off again.

The four apprentices looked at each other.

"I thought Danny was scary for different reasons," Don said finally.  "I'm so spanking him tonight."

The other three smiled.  Don would handle it and it'd be okay again.

***

Alex landed inside the police station, in Horatio's office.  The filing cabinet got pointed at.  "I'll need Speed most likely."

"You can have him if you need him.  How is Monroe?"

"I need to look at the curse before we can remove it.  If we can remove it."  He opened the drawer with the cursed item and groaned, holding up the jockstrap.  "This has a fertility curse on it, Horatio."  He put it back and opened the other one.  He could feel subtle power there.  Very subtle power.  He used the shirt to flip the book right-side up, reading the warning on it.  "Well done of him."  Speed came walking in.  "Come here."  He came over and picked up the book.  "You three are soul-bound," he said wisely, looking at him.  "When?"

"Second year. We were bored."

"Uh-huh.  At least I can see why you can touch it.  You'd have been able to without it."  He looked over the book, laying a hand just above it, wincing at the power reaching up to try to get him.  He moved his hand up and scanned it again, then pulled a wand and got to work.  "How bad are these?"  Speed opened it to his favorite, making him go pale.  "Danny got funny in his grief?"

"That was also just after his fall.  The minions started as a protection society."

"It probably helped wear it out.  I did something like that," he sighed. "Way back when I lost my first veela mate."  He went back to scanning it, then nodded.  "Monroe's in deep shit.  That's an unbreakable," he said finally.  "Come on."  He popped up to where the others were.  He scanned her and shook his head.  Draco handed him the book and he skimmed it, nodding slowly. "Okay.  We've got to remove the blocks.  She'll never be able to harm anyone in the group."  He undid the memory blocks everyone had done on her, leaving her free of all spells but the curse.  Then he sat her up and woke her up.  "Miss Lindsey Monroe."  She blinked at him.  "I'm Alex Dumass.  I'm a curse breaker."

"Those books aren't real."

He pointed at his apprentices.  "Tell that to Harry and Ron, love."  She looked and went pale, even moving Harry's hair to see his scar. "Focus," he snapped.  She looked at him again.  "You touched something that Danny cursed in his youth.  It is unbreakable.  I cannot save you from this.  The only way you can save yourself is to swear fealty to Danny.  That you'll never hurt him by word, deed, or action."  Mac shoved Danny in and followed.   "Nice job.  How long did it take you to find that?"

"It was in the storage room at the school," he admitted quietly.  "Sorry, Alex."

He stroked his cheek.  "When I lost my first veela mate they had to lock me in a special room so I wouldn't destroy the school in my grief, Danny.  Then I lost the rest of my family and they moved to drugging me for three months so I could attend classes but not harm others.  This is what happens when you lose a soulmate.  That's why Willow's still bad.  You had parts of your soul held for you and that saved you.  I hadn't mated with her fully and it saved me.  Only finding another matching soul will ever save Willow."  He nodded, looking down at that.  "This is the time when we lose ourselves.  I'm impressed you got that and the earlier soul binding to work."

"We were young and stupid," Speed admitted.

"You were, but powerful and it resonated perfectly between you three.  The original wording of that binding was to make a group as powerful as Merlin ever was in any time of his life."  They both looked at him.  "Not many even attempt it because the price is so high if you fail.  Losing your soul totally or death tends to make people not try it."  Don moaned at that.  He grinned at him.  "They got it perfectly right, Don.  That's why they've got that deeper bond you asked me about."  He patted him on the cheek again.  "You three are very powerful, very strong, and very wise not to use it all the time."  That got a nod.  "Good boy.  Now, she's got to wear fealty or loyalty?"

"I worded it loyalty."

"Okay.  First thing's first.  Lindsey."  She blinked at him and quit staring at Don and Mac.  "Do you believe magic exists?"  She shook her head.  He floated her up and smacked her into the ceiling then put her back.  "Now do you believe magic exists?"  She whimpered but nodded.  "With everything in you?"  She nodded more quickly.  "Good.  Now, swear loyalty to Danny and the trio, plus his current relationship."

"I..."  She sighed and looked at him. "I guess I swear loyalty to the group and the trio.  I'll leave you alone and won't try to hurt you."  She doubled over, clutching her stomach.  Danny did something to her neck and it eased.  "What was that?"

"It taking hold," Mac admitted.   He tipped her face up.  "That means you can't bother Danny about the relationship anymore, Lindsey."  She nodded.  "You can't tell anyone about magic.  None of it."

"Is Sheldon like you guys?"

"No, he knows but he's not," Danny said gently.  "Do you remember why you ended up in Florida?  And the unicorn?" he prompted when she nodded.  "You took them all off?"

"I had to," Alex agreed.  He patted her on the knee.  "You'll be fine."

"Go look out the window.  It should look like normal weather," Speed ordered.  She went to do that, then nodded that it was sunny and slightly cloudy again.  "Okay, good," he sighed.  "Do we have to remove it from the books?"

"Hell no!" Alex said dryly.  "If you tried to remove that curse others would come for what's in there.  I want those books shielded and protected.  That way anyone who even *thinks* about touching them is cursed to hell and back."

"That bad?" Don asked.

Alex looked at him. "Losing part of your soul will always turn you wrong until you're balanced back out, Don.  Danny lost that with his first girlfriend and then he lost his future when he crashed.  These two chuckleheads helped soothe him and the minions were made so that Danny had an outlet for the milder version of the evil.  Writing it down got it out of him and let him grieve properly."  Don nodded at that.  "He's perfectly fine now.  He has been since he fully grieved and found new balance again."

"I got an idea the other night," Danny admitted.

"You will.  Even I get evil ideas to this day, Danny.  Shit, I had one the other week to take over Gringotts and use it to take over the world.  Not acting on it is the key."  Danny nodded at that, giving him a careful hug.  "Good boy."  He smiled. "You're a good heir for me."  He winked and let Speed hand over the book. "Okay, let's go look at *your* library."

"We need all three of us to get into the hidden sections," Speed offered.  "Tony's on a case."

Mac called Gibbs.  "We need Tony for a bit, Gibbs.  Because we just found out Danny had plans to take over the world when he was younger and Tony was one of the reasons he didn't.  Alex needs into their personal library and some of it's locked by Tony or all three of them being together.  He'll be with us and we'll consult if you need us to."

"Cells don't work in the library," Speed told him.

"I'll go help them," Don offered.

"Don's offered to sub in for a while, Gibbs.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Go ahead.  Let's go there.  Should we bring Stella?"

"She and Don can see it later," Danny said quietly. He looked at Mac.  "Are you going as my lover or my boss?"

"Your boss right now.  We'll go over the other stuff later."  He patted him on the back.  "Right now I've got to help protect the world."

"Keep him happy and balanced, Mac.  That's the best way," Alex promised.  "Boys, go to the local shopping area and find more books for me."  They groaned but took his gringotts keys and went that way.  "Okay, let's go."  Speed created a portkey and they headed off.  Alex looked at the outside of the hidden house.  "This is nice.   How did we get this?"

"It was vacant and never selling," Speed admitted.  "It's haunted so we took it over, consecrated it, and hid it under a fidelus charm."  Mac gave him a look.  "Gotta come from the trio, Mac."

Danny coughed.  "The library is at 737 Park Avenue," Tony said as he appeared.  The building appeared to them.  "I'm the keeper of the charm."  That got a smile.  "Oh, don't worry.  Part of it's under blood key."  He looked at the book in Speed's arms.  "I hate that thing."

"It served its purpose to get it out of him," Speed reminded him.  "He's better now."

"He'd better be!"  They walked inside together and Danny had to open the door with the blood key to get all of the books.  Speed used his on his sign.  Tony sighed and cut his palm and put it onto his sign.  The doors opened fully, letting them have full access.  The hidden parts upstairs all called to them so they went to open them as well.  Once opened they'd stay open until the house was shut up again.  They came together in the basement and got open the door down there, letting Alex start there since it was some of the most dangerous works.  The book got put next to the original since it was a copy.  "How is Rhyse?"

"Good," Danny offered. "Married, no kids, lives on the Island.  He's the one I ran into on the scene the other day."  That got a nod from Mac.  "We ever figure out who killed 'im?"

"One of the guards who he wouldn't sleep with."

"Oh.  Good.  I knew that day off was at a bad time.  What about the room?"

"There was a serial killer who was using it but Don's father got him a few years back, before he retired."  He looked around the bookshelves.  "Did you guys write all these?"

"We copied a lot of the books around here," Speed admitted.  "These were penned during our minion and overlord days.  That's why they're under triple blood lock."  That got a nod.  "We all lost a lot our last year, Mac.  That and the summer after were soul rending for all us."

Danny gave him a hug.  "We're better now."

"We are," Tony agreed, joining in on the hug.  "This is so much better than the body dropped in the middle of the goat patty field.  I still say they were too exact so someone was marking them for a reason."

"It could be," Mac agreed.  "I saw what you did and it did look like a map grid.  Maybe for a firing exercise or something."  He shrugged and walked out, letting Danny show him around while the others got Alex.

"I need to copy some of these," Alex said happily when he was done.  He sent a list to Draco for him to find him copies.  He got a groan and a 'bastard' back.  "He's happy too."  He grinned at them.

"I'm impressed, boys," Mac offered.  "Can the group get in here?"

"You three can because you're with Danny," Speed offered.  "Horatio and Eric can get in because they're with me.  Tony's can when he settles on someone."

"We have to bring them here, anoint them in the moonlight, and then they can," Danny reminded him.

"True," Tony agreed. "Which means we've got to solve that case quickly since the new moon's day after tomorrow."  He waved and disappeared, sending Horatio, Stella, and Don all portkeys to the library.  On them he had written that he'd have to see them on the new moon up there but to go up now.   He walked off the elevator and looked at Don, who was joking at his desk.  "We good?"

"It was a firing range for an ultralight to bomb," Gibbs said grimly.  "The body's back and we've got an ID."

"That's cool.  What can I do, boss?  By the way, I need day after tomorrow night off."  Gibbs looked at him.  "To let the boyfriends into the library," he said quietly.  That got a nod.  "Shouldn't take me that long if you have to have me."

"We should be able to do it without you for a few hours."

"Good, because cells don't work there.  We did it before cellphones became known."  That got a nod and Don slipped away.  "Go join them now, Don."  That got a nod and he left.  "Anyway.  Where do you need me, boss?"

"At your desk tracing the ultralight."

"They don't have to issue flight plans but....."  He sat down to log into the local radar sites and talk to the nearest airport tower.  Some of them did have to have radio transmitters to let bigger planes know they were there.

***

Stella landed last.  "Wow."  She looked around the main room of the library and it was a true library like Alex's.  A couple of tables, a few reading chairs and lamps, and bookcases full of books.  No statues she could see or anything.  "I left Lindsey crying on Sheldon tonight, Mac."

"I heard, that's fine.  Her impulsiveness led to this and she'll have to deal with it."

"At least she'll have to quit nagging about the quad and quit hitting on you and me," Danny said dryly from his chair.  She pulled him up and he stole a kiss with a grin.  "Go look.  Everything's open."  She led him off to show her.  "Okay."  They gathered Don and drug him with them.

"Who owns the house?" Horatio asked.

"It's a vacant one we took over," Speed admitted, looking at his older lover.  "No one wanted it and it's been considered haunted.  If anyone actually found it and wasn't us there's a card on the front on how to find us.  Someone called last year and we had to memory charm the developer with bad taste.  He wanted to turn this whole street into a high rise complex."

"It would be sad to lose this much history," Horatio agreed, running a hand over the wall.  "Is the building in good shape?"

"Being held up by magic," Speed admitted, shrugging a bit. "It's been vacant since the sixties, Horatio."

"Maybe we should think about moving it somewhere safer," Mac offered.  Everyone in the room stared at him.  "Somewhere we legally own?"

"I'd move it to my childhood home when my parents died," Speed offered.

"We could move it to Tony's farm," Eric offered.

"We can't.  A few of the books radiate and we do spells and things out there," Speed admitted.  "We need it untouched.  We had to put up a smog barrier last year over it."

Mac smiled.  "Horatio and I both own investment land."

"So does Danny," Don called from upstairs. "This is incredible but we need a card catalog like they've got at the castle."

"We've got index books for the non-special collections," Speed called back.  He shook his head.  "It'd take us forever to clean, consecrate, and bless a new spot, Mac."

"Ryan would help," Horatio reminded him.

"True.  So would Marisol probably," Eric agreed.  "Can I borrow the one on healing spells?" he asked, holding it up.  Speed looked at it and led him off to find a better one, handing him that one with a grin.  "Thank you."

"She's important to you," he reminded him, stealing a kiss with a smile. "That's the daily rental fee.  I'll accept it from you instead of her."

"Thanks."  He gave him another one.  "In case I forget."  He went to sit down and read over it.  Ryan had given him a beginning magic book that had a lot of theory stuff.  He was slowly working his way through it.

Speed came back down, smiling at Mac.  "They're in the lone bedroom we left.  I think Don's blowing him for the practical joke collection."

"The twins would moan at it," Alex agreed happily, beaming at him.  "I'd give you guys part of the castle but Draco would kill me and if something happened thanks to the bank stuff it'd get confiscated."

"Maybe we can get a townhouse," Mac suggested.   "We all have some savings."

Speed looked at him.  "We'd have to find somewhere with a garage attached for the other stuff."

"Other stuff?" Horatio asked.

"Like most modern wizards in the US we had cars too," he agreed, walking him down there with Eric.  Who crooned and petted the Barracuda down there.  There was a pristine classic mustang and one motley one that needed more body work.  "Danny's," he offered.  "Sonny smacked into him our senior year and he was fixing it up when our lives hit the fan."  That got a nod and Eric went to look inside them. "Plus we've moved some of the stuff we scavenged here as well."

Horatio gave him a gentle kiss. "Let's move this somewhere legitimate, Speed."

"That'll take forever."  He heard a thought from Danny and groaned, shaking his head.  "He's got an idea."

"That seems to be his place in the group," Horatio teased.

"Only for the evil things.  Most normal ideas came from Tony.  I'm head researcher and backup head magic guy.  Danny's head magic guy and backup researcher or idea guy.  Tony's head idea guy and the guy who does our planning."  He looked up and thought at Tony, telling him that the group's mates wanted them to move everything somewhere more legitimate, somewhere that wasn't about to be condemned or fall in, and somewhere easier to get to for all of them.  He got back an idea, then he and Danny tossed some back and forth until they came to a consensus.  Tony would start looking at real estate, they would all chip in on the cost of it.  It'd be fine and they could move everything there.  He looked at Horatio, who smiled.  "It might not be in the city."

"Would it be more centrally located for you and Tony?"

"It would."  He stole a kiss and smiled.  "Actually, Tony saw a place in a real estate guide.  It's a huge estate with guest houses, an orchard, part of a lake, and a lot of forest that's meant to be saved for future generations.  It's fairly cheap and between us we can just afford it we think.  It's in West Virginia so it's less expensive than this place would be up here."

Horatio smiled at him.  "Then I could like that if you three do."

"We do."  He snuck another kiss and goosed Eric, making him yelp and jump.  "What?"

"Why didn't Danny get a classic sports car like you two?"

"Danny said he didn't need anything that hot and fast to prove he was hot and fast; that's why he had a broom.  His main concern was that the car get him places, could store stuff in the trunk, and he could have sex in it."  Eric grinned at that.  "So he got something more practical than ours.  We used his car to cart books here but Danny thinks we can move it via spell if we have to."  That got a grin.  "But we'll have to see."

Danny came jogging down the stairs.  "Tony looked them up at the office and it's still for sale.  It's still only five hundred thousand for a few hundred acres, and he's sent an email to the realtor about going to check on it.  If so, we can make one of the guest houses into the library and the others for personal work and things."  That got a grin from Horatio.  "It'll be handy and keep us from doing it at Tony's farm since it's near a highway now.  This place is meant to stay pristine."  He kissed Speed.  "They wanted into your library.  You should go give tours."

"Sure.  Heading to my personal hidden library, guys."  Eric and Horatio followed to look at what he had collected.  Danny petted his car's hood.  "It'll be okay, baby.  We'll get you fixed pretty again."  He headed back upstairs, finding Mac talking to Alex about how to move everything.  "Servant spells."  Alex gave him an odd look.  "You can.  Or the camp moving spell since you taught it to Don and then servant spells to shelve."

"You could do that," he agreed.  "That's how I shelved the ones in the castle at first."  That got a smirk.  "The others had only collected a few books here and there.  I copied every single book I ever found on the job.  The time I came back with so many I pissed off the house elves I used them."  Mac snickered at that.  "Seriously.  They've all complained about dusting the library.  They haven't realized yet I've got the other library at the manor house and then the ones in the work houses in Greece and Barbados."  He shrugged and went back to browsing, sending Draco another title for his searching pleasure.  Draco groaned but went to talk to the clerk again.  They had never heard of it so it went to Ron, who was in Knockturn at the bookstore down there.  Flourish and Blotts was great but this other place had more rare specimens.  Ron called he had found it and how much.  It got added onto the tab they were running.

***

Harry popped into Abby's work and smiled at the guards.  "I'm escaping my uncle, the book nerd."  The one who knew him laughed. "He just called his husband and my fellow trainee to find him forty rare books he hasn't got copies of yet.  The castle has a *huge* library.  Two turrets full."  He signed in. "Is my heart still here?"

"She is, Harry.  Go ahead up, I'll warn her."  He smiled and went that way.  The guard looked at the confused one next to him.  "That's Abby's boyfriend Harry Potter."

That got a long blink. "You're joking."

"Checked his ID.  He's involved in some artifact retrieval program that rescues them from warzones.  Brought in some evidence for Gibbs once. Whenever he's close by he pops around for hugs and tea.  He's a nice guy but the one time someone pinched Abby he about beat the guy senseless then escorted Abby back to her lab like she was delicate."  That got a smile.  He looked over as Tony strolled out.  "Harry's here."

"He's hiding from his uncle, the book nerd."  He grinned at them.  "He found an ancient school library and he's looking up copies of books that look interesting."  He signed out. "Heading off to talk to someone.  I'll be back later, guys.  If Gibbs wonders, I'm out for dinner and I'll be back in an hour."  He walked out and headed to the realtor's place.  She blinked at him and he grinned. "You said you knew."

"I'm more used to Wiccans who wanted to look at it."

"I need the same sort of place for the same sort of reason," he agreed.  She smiled and took him out to look over the property, letting him feed it back to the others.  Speed and Danny both agreed on which guest house got the library, the others they could do magic in.  The main house was nice.  There was a garage for their cars.  The lake was beautiful, the orchard productive.  The price was reasonable with their pooled resources, and the guys weren't going to badger him to put in more than a third of the cost.   He looked at her. "We'll take it."  She smiled at that. "I'm going into it with a few friends who're CSI in New York and Miami.  I'm a Federal Agent out of DC."  She looked impressed at that and they went back to start the paperwork.  Danny and Speed both forwarded them information on their various accounts.   Horatio and Eric went in with Speed.  Mac went in with Danny.  Don and Stella didn't have that much money saved so they didn't ask them.

It was arranged and by the end of the afternoon they had the entire asking price available.  She filed the bid and called the present owners, telling them it was a group of CSI and Federal Agents who were Wiccans, but they agreed they needed it for the rest and relaxation, that they'd preserve everything about the land and it'd be special to them.  Not used as a safe house or anything.  They agreed and she forwarded the money once everyone had called their bank to send the drafts to her.  Tony checked his watch and stepped outside to call Gibbs.  "Sorry, boss, dinner ran long.  No, I'm not in DC.  Why?"  He smiled.  "Actually, I'm buying a place for us to move to when things get too tough but we are not to break the beauty and calmness of the area.  No using it as a safe house.  It's for the family and friends, which does include you, and the library."  He smiled.  "You'll adore it.  You can come out the night we're doing the new house blessing and stuff."

He snickered.  "I left that on your desk, boss.  Yeah, that pile.  No, according to what I found he picked him up because he was slobbering drunk and decided he was just as useful as a homeless person for his demented experiment.  Yup.  I had McGee run down his finances and background while I did the rest since Ziva wasn't at her desk when I found it.  He used what I found to file for an arrest warrant so you should have it within a few hours.  He also dispatched someone to watch the guy's house just in case.  Yeah, so it's covered until McGee finishes his part of the background checks and the arrest warrant comes through."  The realtor came out to join him.  "Sorry, checking in.  I'm playing hookey."  She smiled at that.  "No, the realtor, boss.  Yeah, I promise you can see when we come out to do the blessing stuff.  Sure.  Yes, it's worth it.  I promise it's worth the few hours.  And hey, I broke the case, all you're doing is the mopup and McGee's doing most of it for you so you can growl at him for a few hours."  He smiled.  "In two hours, boss."  He hung up and looked at her.  "When do we think we can move out?  We have a library that we need to move out of New York because the building it's in is nearly condemned."

"Within weeks.  They've already moved out and we've got to file the title and things, Special Agent DiNozzo.  I've got your email for when I get everything back.  An arrest warrant?"

"Someone used a victim for target practice with his ultralight and some limited explosives."

"Oh.  Eww."

"Very.  So, yeah, that's what I'm doing tonight.  Thank you for your help."  He shook her hand.  "Let me know if anything comes up and I'll handle it as soon as I get news."  She nodded so he left, heading back to the office from some shadows.  He appeared in the shadows in Abby's lab, making her squeak.  "Harry already leave?"

"Yup.  Alex called him back."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "Gibbs is not happy."

"It's important."  He headed up to their floor, getting off the elevator.  "I'm back.  It's done now all we need is the paperwork."  He handed over the listing and Gibbs gaped at him.  He winked.  "The library's pretty massive, boss.  Plus it'll have a place for us to reconnect and *rest*.  Even we need a rest now and then."

"It sounds beautiful."

"It is and we've promised to keep evil people away from all the trees.  Is the warrant in yet?"

"Being faxed over within a half-hour."  He looked at him.  "Is your job getting in the way?"

"It's like moving to a new house, boss.  Some things have to be settled in.  We're settling in."  Gibbs gave him a look.  "It's the first time it's interfered in months," he reminded him.  "If our minion hadn't sent Danny the book, it wouldn't have interfered today and you'd still never know about the library."

"She fixed?"

"Yup.  Can't bother them anymore."  Gibbs stared him down.  "It had a loyalty out clause," he said quietly.  "She's fixed and not very happy."  That got a single nod.  "In a few weeks we'll be doing the moving stuff but I'll take a full weekend off for that if I can.  Hopefully the one we're not on-call during.  The old house is falling in."

"I'd like to see that."

"Sure, we can go later.  The others are having a picnic in there tonight."  He called Miami with a frown.  "Calleigh, they're where their cells don't work.  Has Ryan gotten back yet?"  He nodded. "Thanks. Let me know and I'll pass it on.  Yeah, this is Tony.  No, they're not doing something like that.  They're in a shielded building.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Ryan's testimony got pushed back because he had a small wreck this morning when a cruiser ran into him for no reason.  We're waiting to hear what that is about."

"Sure."  He leaned back. "Where is Officer David?"

"Not a clue, boss.  She said she was going to dinner.  Haven't seen her since four-thirty.  McGee?"  His head popped up.  "Have we seen Officer David?"

"No, not since she said she was going out for dinner.  I checked, her car's still in the garage."

"Think she's a bunny named Rick?" Gibbs asked dryly.  They both gave him horrified looks and went into the bathroom to do a search for her magically.  Tony came out and shook his head.  "She all right?"

"Not really.  She'll be fine.  She's in the ER.  McGee's calling, boss."  He sat down to start on his reports.  McGee came out smiling. "She's fine?"

"Someone tried to mug her.  They're wondering why she broke his arms and legs.  She's got a broken foot from doing that to him.  She'll probably be out in a few hours, boss.  They said she's swearing in Hebrew and the nurse who is Jewish is blushing hard at her language.  They handed it over and I told her to call in immediately with a report for you."  He went back to his desk.  "The poor mugger is in surgery to get a few bones pinned."

"Ow," Gibbs moaned.  "For mugging her?"

"She's out of chocolate, boss," Tony said dryly.  "She's in a mean mood."

"Understandable," he agreed.  "Kate had those too."

"Yeah and it usually meant I got picked on," Tony agreed with a small, evil smirk.  "McGee, any word on the arrest warrant?"

"Haven't been by the fax machine yet, Tony.  Go ahead and check.  It's your turn."  Tony got up and came back with it.  McGee grabbed his gun, following them out the door.  "She's going to be sorry she missed this.  She wanted to smack him for showering her with goat poo."

"Poo, Agent McGee?" Gibbs asked.

"I didn't want to say something vulgar, boss."

"Uh-huh."

"Say it like it was, McGee.  A shower of goat crap," Tony said, getting off the elevator first and heading for the car.  "Shotgun!"

"Oh, come on!" McGee complained.

"We're going to the library tonight."

"No thanks.  You guys are scary people who make my geekiness look slow."

Tony beamed at him.  "That's Speed and Danny, McGee, but thanks.  They said so too."

"Speaking of smart people, what about the bunny?" Gibbs asked as he got in to drive.  McGee got into the back and he pulled out once Tony was in and buckled up.  "Any idea yet?"

"Eric wanted him to stay a rabbit. They're fighting about it."  He sent that thought to the group at large, getting a snort from Speed.  "Speed wants him to stay a bunny too, boss.  Horatio's being outvoted."

"Uh-huh.  Someone should do something.  That's not good for him."

"Yeah but he can't cause trouble," Tony complained.  Gibbs shot him a look before pulling onto the street and heading off like he was in pursuit - the only way he ever drove.  "He can't.  Miami thinks he's on vacation."

"Fix it, DiNozzo."

"Yes, boss.  The group will go over the bunny situation tonight.  You still want to come up?"

"Please."

"Sure."  He held onto the door bar when they slid around a corner.

***

Ryan looked at the attorney in front of him.  "What was the question?  I don't think I heard it right."

"Do you or anyone in your lab participate in unnatural rituals or occurrences?" the attorney asked.

"No," he said, shrugging a bit.  "Why?"

"I'm asking the questions, Officer Wolfe."

"Sure, but I thought this was about a case that our lab never handled."  The attorney glared at him. "That's what the summons said," he offered.

"I want that stricken off the record," the attorney demanded.

"Denied," the judge told him.  "Please get on with it?"

"Fine.  I do know some of your lab's people are of ...alternate faiths."

"Some of them are," he agreed.  "So?"

"That doesn't lead to unnatural practices?"

"Praying to the moon or water?  No.  As far as I know no one in the lab is a satanist, who would be the only ones doing unnatural practices as far as I'm concerned.  Putting a food offering on an altar to the Goddess isn't unnatural."

"Are you sure?" he asked with a mean smirk.

"I am."

"Yet, you've been heard saying that you deal in chaos magic."

"I also role play," he answered, evading the question.  Not a lie, he did still do it on occasion.  He did play chaos magic users usually.  "Why?"

"I'm asking the questions," he sneered.

"Then please ask some that make sense."

"I can have her put you in contempt, *Officer* Wolfe," he sneered.  Ryan shrugged.  "Fine.  Your Honor?  Permission to treat as hostile?"

"For playing role playing games?" she said, looking confused.  "How does this relate back to that case?"

"It's our supposition that they did handle this case."

"No, if I had handled this case I'd have notes on it and I don't," Ryan told him.  "I never heard of this case before we looked it up to see why we were being called.  I still have no good idea of what happened in the case, just that it was a federal crossover case and involved a homicide - from what information I found it was an accidental homicide.  My playing role playing games and playing chaos magic oriented characters has nothing to do with my lab work."

"Do you have a problem distinguishing between reality and fiction?"

"No," he said slowly and clearly.  "Never have."

"Yet, you talked about this in the lab with two of your coworkers."

"They asked."  He shrugged again.  "They asked so I told them.  It's good when your coworkers get to know you as friends as well.  The same as they know I have moderate OCD."

"You admit to having a mental issue and say it doesn't affect your work?"

Ryan shifted so he could cross his legs.  "OCD is only an asset in the lab.  It makes me meticulous and tidy.  It means the lab's never dirty when I'm working in it and it means I make copious notes about what I'm doing.  I'm in one of the few fields where having OCD is considered an accomplishment."  The lawyer looked horrified.  "Not that techs without OCD aren't great, they are, it's just I'm a bit more meticulous and neat about how I work."

"Yet this is considered a mental illness?"

"No, I think it's considered a condition, not an illness.  It's not caused by a growth, hormone imbalance, or any other physical disease.  It's caused by parents and stress," he said blandly.  "But I can run home and get the research I've done on it if you want. I've got about ten notebooks of research where I've went over things for my own edification."

The man looked disgusted.  "You brag about this?" he sneered.

"No, but you asked."

"You don't brag?"

"No.  I've never *bragged* about it.  I occasionally *warn* about it when new people come into the lab so they don't get tied up in it.  I had to get the cleaning crew off my case once because I scrubbed one of the labs after some dirt spilled from another tech's sample.  I've never *bragged* about it."

The judge looked at him.  "Please tone down your responses.  We want to keep this civil."

"I'd love to, Your Honor, can you make him quit sneering?"

"He's always like that.  Unfortunately.  Please get back onto the topic or dismiss the witness.  His OCD has nothing to do with this case."

"Which I never worked," Ryan added.  "Can the record please show that?"

"It does," she agreed.  "Get on with it, Counselor."

"Why did your lab not work this case, Officer Wolfe?"

"It wasn't assigned to us.  We don't work cases unless they're given to us or they're felonies that're found in the city.  Since the agents over the case went to another lab we didn't even hear about it."

"This didn't strike you as *strange*?" he pressed.

Ryan shook his head.  "No.  Not really.  Now and then agents have been known to go to techs they like better instead of the one who'd normally be over the incident.  If it's not my immediate case or one in the lab, I never hear about other cases.  I'm assuming that's why they went to the other lab but that's the most likely assumption to make."  He frowned a bit.

"Yet, your lab should have handled this, correct?"

"Not unless we were assigned to it.  The other lab could handle an accidental homicide and has in the past.  If it was a full blown murder then yes we probably should have.  Again, not our call, that was up to the agents who would've referred it."

"I see."  He stared at him.  "You have a housekeeper?"

"I do."

"How do you afford one?"

"I live alone and they're relatively cheap.  They're as obsessive about cleaning as I am."

"What's his or her name?"

"His name is Scrubby."

"Scrubby?" the judge asked.  Ryan nodded.  "Nickname?"

"That's what he told me to call him, Your Honor."

"I see," the lawyer said, looking at him.  "What name do you put on his checks?"

"Cash in an envelope and that.  I do report him to the IRS.  It's nice, I don't have to come home and immediately clean anymore.  I can let the day digest and relax.  The only thing he doesn't do perfectly is the laundry and we're still working on that.  He prefers to let things drip dry and I like dryers.  He is great at getting stains out though."

The lawyer stared at him.  "Is he human?"

"Do you think he's a dog or something?" Ryan shot back so he wouldn't have to lie.  "Do you know many aliens perhaps?"

The lawyer glared.  "I do not like your tone of voice or the innuendo, Officer Wolfe."

"The last time I knew the only trained semi-sentient species was some types of chimps.  He's not a chimp and he is sentient. There's no other *known* sentient races on the planet.  What else would he be?"

"He's how tall?"

"About up to my shoulder so just over five feet."

"He's a midget?"

"He's short but I believe he's above the dwarfism line."  He looked at the judge again, who just looked confused too. Then back at the lawyer.  "He also has a small hump on one shoulder from a past injury."  He had found that a few weeks back and Scrubby had said it was where his last master had kicked him.  "It doesn't seem to hurt him, he never complains about it, and he said it's healed.  He said it doesn't affect his work at all."

"I see."  He stared at him.  "Do you know the whereabouts of an Internal Affair's officer named Rick Stetler?"

"No," he said.  All he knew was that someone was watching over the bunny.  "I heard he was on vacation but that was rumors in the locker room."

"You're sure?"

"I am.  I have no idea where he's presently at.  He didn't share his plans with me.  We're not friends, lovers, or really even acquaintances."

"Is this relevant?" the judge asked.

"It is, Your Honor.  I know for a fact he knows where Sergeant Stetler is."  He produced a bagged tape.  "I want to enter this into evidence as Defense Exhibit 41."

"Granted, probably.  What's on it?"

"A discussion between Officer Wolfe and his boss about Rick Stetler where they call him a rabbit."

Ryan nodded.  "Now and then he's like an impotent bunny banging his head against the side of the cage.  He's also a harassing and threatening person who's tried more than once to manufacture proof against the lab.   He has a well-known grudge against my boss.  Just because I called him a bunny doesn't mean I know where he's calling home at the moment.  There are days I'd rather have him than the person subbing for him while he's gone.  He didn't hit on others against their will, just try to twist evidence."  The judge looked at him.  "His grudge is well-known within the department, Your Honor."  She nodded at that.  He looked at the lawyer again.  "If I knew where he was I'd tell you.  I have no idea where he's presently residing."

"Who's the Tony mentioned on the tape?"

"Probably a federal agent a few people in the lab know," he said cautiously, frowning some.  "I got introduced to him through them.  He's come down a few times on a crossover case and to spend some vacation time with his friends."

"I see.  Does he *role play* as well?"

"I'm barely acquainted with him.  How would I know?"

The lawyer glared at him.  "That was a snotty answer, Officer Wolfe."

"Then make sense, please.  What does Tony have to do with that case or Stetler?"

"It is my theory that there's widespread corruption inside your lab."

Ryan burst out laughing.  "Really?  Uh-huh.  With IAB riding us and watching us closely enough to see if we pick up sand fleas from beach scenes, how would there be?"  The lawyer looked stunned.  "He's always around.  He's hovering, asking badgering questions, making taunting threats to Horatio and Eric.  We don't have time to go to the bathroom without him watching. I've walked into the locker room more than once to find him with bolt cutters in front of someone's locker, once mine, and he didn't have a warrant.  Horatio had to remind him of that repeatedly.  I even let him into mine when he started to badger me about my faith and other matters.  He stomped off in a huff when all he found was some cooking herbs I had picked up earlier that day at lunch to take home that night."  The lawyer growled.  "I'm sorry your theory can't be proven but this still has nothing to do with this case that's mentioned in the subpoena.  What I looked up and found mentioned the agent in charge's name and it's a guy who's come to Horatio many times for cases in the past and has again recently.  If there was the corruption you thought, why would he?"

"Why wouldn't Stetler leave you alone if there wasn't?" he sneered back.

"Hmm, just a thought but since one of the roots of his jealousy is that Horatio got promoted ahead of him in a way he thinks smacked of favoritism, he'll probably never leave us alone until he retires or is fired.  The man had jealousy issues.  Maybe that's why he's taking the extended vacation?  That's what a few people think around the labs, he's been ordered to take it."  The lawyer sat down and he looked at the judge.  "I'm sorry if I sounded impertinent, Your Honor."

"No, I was getting frustrated too.  Any further questions?"  The lawyer shook his head.  "Then the other side can go?"

"We have no idea why anyone in the felony lab was called, ma'am, and Officer Wolfe has answered all the questions I could've asked," that lawyer admitted.

"Very well.  Thank you for your patience, Officer Wolfe."

"Thank you, ma'am."  He got down and headed out, turning off the record feature on his cellphone.  He found Horatio waiting on him and handed it over after restarting the recording.  "It's not pretty."

"Hmm.  It's not.  Alex has grabbed Calleigh.  We're going up to the trio's library to discuss how to move it.  Would you like to have dinner?"

"Sure."  He walked off with him, letting Horatio move them both once they were out of sight.  They landed and he looked around in awe.  "Man," he whimpered, nearly kneeling at Danny and Speed's feet.  "Do you guys lend books?"

"Now and then," Danny offered.  "Come eat, Wolfe.  What's going on?"  Horatio replayed the conversation for everyone to hear.

"I'm a bit worried about the bunny issue myself," Gibbs noted.

"As long as we can make sure he can't turn on those of us with skills, I wouldn't care if he came back," Speed admitted.  "It's getting annoying with that ho hitting on me."

"She tried with me and I turned her down and walked off shaking my head after reminding her that it would be an inappropriate relationship.  I also turned her into the tip line for IAB for trying to do that," Eric told him.  "I got asked to fill out the paperwork earlier."

"As did I," Horatio agreed.  "She's tried it with you, Ryan?"

"Twice.  Once I looked at her and said I was just getting out of a relationship, I wasn't looking for a new one.  The other I pointed out I almost rather date a serial killer because at least I knew when they were going to try to hurt my career.  She walked off fuming and I called the Chief's secretary to complain."  Eric and Speed both looked at him.  He grinned.  "I dated her back in college, guys."

Horatio smiled at that.  "I'll remember that, Mr. Wolfe.  Very good work recording this."

"Thank you.  Even the judge was confused."

"Good.  Did they adjourn?" Speed asked.  Ryan nodded.  "Even better."  He looked around.  "All right, family.  Looking through some real estate guides, Tony has found us the perfect spot to move the library since we don't own this building and it's about ready to fall in.  Which means we need to bless it, clean it, then do the library magics on it so no one can get into the library who shouldn't.  It's also an all natural place."

"I did promise that we would not use it as a safehouse and nothing bad would happen there," Tony agreed.  "It was fully paid for.  The realtor is going to email me when we can move stuff or if there's a problem."

Danny grinned.  "Don knows the camp moving spell.  The servant spell can pack and then shelve again on the other side.  There is enough room for us to play quidditch, right, Tony?"

"There is," he agreed happily. "There's also a main house, two guest houses, an orchard, and a lake."  Calleigh grinned at that.  "I was shocked at how inexpensive it was.  It's in West Virginia."  He handed over copies of the real estate guide and the fact sheet.  "That's where it is."  They all smiled at that.  "So we can move everything, all the libraries, all the cars, everything down there once and for all."  That got a lot of nods.  "It will take a few days."

"Which we can use anyway," Danny admitted. "I don't know about you guys but cases have been killer."  He frowned then looked at Horatio.  "Have him touch the book."   Alex Dumass glared at him.  "No, hear me out.  He'd have to swear loyalty.  To the group.  Speed's part of the group, hurting the lab would hurt him.  Right?"

"That's a sneaky side effect, but do it without that book," Alex complained.

"Then someone could remove it," Tony offered.

Speed nodded. "I'd rather have him neutralized but not bowing and asking if we needed him to be a surrogate."

"Did Monroe do that?" Danny asked him.  Speed nodded.   "No, not needed.  If Stella wants to use her womb, we've got plenty of ways for it to happen."  Stella gave him a look.  "We do."

"What about what we did on Willow?" Ryan asked.  "A binding.  Nice, simple, can be undone sometime in the future.  It can work on those not inclined or powered."  The trio looked at him.  "It would also be easier to do the wording instead of making up a new spell that wouldn't rob his free will and left him able to do the work."

"I can see that happening," Horatio agreed cautiously.

The trio looked at each other, then nodded.  Mac smirked at the thoughts Danny slipped out.  "Sorry," he said, smirking back at Mac.  "We can do that.  We can even do it before he turns back from being a bunny."  Tony summoned their poor bunny and they got to work on the binding with Ryan's help while Horatio changed Stetler back and held him while he cried and apologized.  Apparently eating salad all the time wasn't good for him.

***

Ryan smiled as Stetler came in the next morning.  "Yes, Sergeant, can I help you?" he asked respectfully.  "And might I say it's nice to have you back since you arrested the bitch who was taking your place."

"I know what you did," he hissed.

"Hmm, and if you talk about it, next time you'll be a stew."

That got a nod and a calm look.  "I understand.  It was explained to me.  I want to know what happened at the trial."  Ryan replayed the recorded bit for him, making him frown.  "I see. Thank you.  Which attorney?"  Ryan got the file he had compiled and handed it over.  "Even better."  He walked off to look into that.  There was no reason for them to have looked into his disappearance and something very wrong was going on with that case.  Even beyond his jealousy and desire to ruin them all.  He would be finding the root cause of it so they'd let him go someday.

Future Outtake

Alex and Draco landed in the usual spot inside the manor house, looking around.  "We're back!" he bellowed, making a few of the aunts smile.  He heard a strange noise and looked in what used to be his study, smiling at the two babies in there.  "Aww.   It's scary creatures, Draco."

Draco looked then shuddered.  "Why are they here?"

"We did tell Grandma Des that she could have them created as long as the aunts raised them since we're both scared of the cuteness."  He walked in and sat down across from the mini-him.  It had to be.  It had dark hair and the other was a blond.  He smiled.  "Hi.  What's your name?"

Aunt Nadia leaned in.  "William Scott."

"William huh?  That's a good name.  Uncle Bill will be happy about that."  He smiled when the baby smiled at him.  "We do know that we have other heirs?"

"I've noticed that," she said dryly.  "Thankfully this one will be a sane one.  Unlike your daughter and most of the sons.  Hopefully he'll be closer to Severus than not."  She walked off again.

Alex looked out the doorway then snorted.  "Yeah, right.  And who raised me?" he called after her, hearing a groan.  He looked at the baby again.  "How old are you?"  The baby crawled over to settle in his lap, beaming at him.  "Sure, I can do that.  It'll take a while for the cuteness to infect me or damage me."  Draco groaned, going to find something to do in the kitchen.  He smiled at the other baby.  "Hi.  I'm Uncle Alex."  The baby burbled and waved a hand, then laid down in the doggy bed and went to sleep with his stuffed dog.  "That's a good boy."  He looked down.  "So, little Bill.  What're you doing today?"

The baby looked at a nearby vase and squinted, clapping and squealing when it floated over for him.  "Ba!" he said proudly.

"Very good!" he praised, giving him a squeeze.  "That's a very good manifestation, Bill!  I'm very proud of you!"  He checked it over.  "Yup, you're so mine.  Don't worry, the incubus inside won't hurt you.  You can play with that one."  The baby sucked on the rim of the vase and he grinned.  "He taste good?"  The baby patted his hands so he let him go, watching as he crawled off with the vase in his mouth.  He followed the slowly crawling baby, grinning at the aunts.  "Look who just manifested," he said proudly.  "Unstuck and floated the capturing vase."

"Alex, what the hell!" his aunt Cordy yelled.  "That could hurt or warp him!"

"Chill, it's an incubus.  It won't hurt him."   He smiled.  "I can hear the little sex demon in there complaining about drool, but it won't hurt him even if it gets free.  It's only an incubus."  He beamed when Draco came in from the back yard.  "Not only is he so mine,  he just manifested early!  He unstuck and is sucking on an incubus-containing vase.  I'm so proud!"

Draco looked at him then at the child.  "Is the demon throwing a fit about drool?  I can hear something."

"Yup," Alex said, beaming at the aunts.  "Good choice, Aunties!  He's a little me!  He's the next great Cursebreaker Dumass.  We'll have to start on his sensing lessons early so they're natural to him."  He picked up the baby to cuddle, making him a happy boy.  "Such a good boy!  That's my boy!"  The baby leaned forward to suck on his nose for him.  "Sure, you can eat me for a bit.  It's a good treat for a good boy since I'm so sweet."

Aunt Nadia took the baby and handed off the vase, weathering the crying.  "Go away, Alex."  He pouted.  "Go tell the others."

"I'll go tell Sev," Draco volunteered, heading off before he could be infected and damaged by the cuteness.  His husband clearly had been since he was now slightly more insane than usual.  He had to trudge up from the apparation barrier around the school but Hogwarts never really changed that much so he knew where he'd find his former mentor.  He walked into his office, giving him a look.  "Your half-brother is very much like his father.  He just unstuck a vase containing an incubus and crawled around with it in his mouth."

Severus Snape got up and got a set of shot glasses and a snifter.  "Brandy?"

"Please Merlin yes."  He took his and sat down across from him.  "They've got heirs for both of us there.  The miniature me was napping in a house-elf bed."  He took a drink.  "The demon was complaining about baby drool."

Severus gulped his first drink and poured another, topping off his favorite student's glass too.  "I'll be retired before that child comes here to start his education."

"Alex said he's starting him early so his sensing lessons come naturally."  He gulped his drink and got a third.  "He's off to brag to the others."

Severus shook his head.  "I'll let the other Banes know."  He touched his communication tattoo and sent that over, getting a lot of groans and a few toasts to the next great Cursebreaker Dumass.  They all knew Alex having kids was a good reason to drink.

***

Alex landed in Tony's office, coming out of the elevator to look at him.  "I have happy news," he said proudly.  "They went with Grandma Des's plan to create a true heir.  He's so like me!"  He beamed.  "He just manifested at the crawling age!  He just unstuck a vase containing an incubus and crawled off with it in his mouth.  I'm so proud!"

Tony looked at him then at Gibbs, who had his head down on his desk and shaking it, then back at his biological father.  "You're strange."

"I know, cuteness warps you that way.  I came to tell the future granddaughter-in-law."

"She's in the lab.  Let me tell her," Tony said, calling down there.  "It's us.  Alex is here to share family news.  No, they created a true heir to the line.  He's here to brag."  He hung up and looked at him again, leaning back some.  "How did the little mini-you get created?"

"Grandma Des nagged me into giving her permission to take some sperm to have the baby created so I'd have an heir.  That was before we found Sev and the rest of you but oh well.  They did it and there's a mini-Draco too.  He's napping in a puppy bed."

Tony smiled but shook his head.  "I'm sure they're adorable, Alex.  He's how old?"

"Crawling.  However old that is.  Though, I'm going to have to clean some of the things out of the manor house.  There's a few things hidden in there that we don't want him to get into yet.  Plus warn my mother before she warps him."  He shrugged and squealed when he saw Abby, pouncing her for a hug, babbling at her.  She squealed back and bounced with him.

"Too much noise," Gibbs complained, rubbing his forehead. Abby gave him a hug.  "Thank you.  Alex, go tell the other adopted sons?"  He beamed and went to do that.  He looked at Tony.  "You're not allowed to breed, DiNozzo.  Never."

"My kids would be normal, boss.  Not little cursebreakers.  After all, I'm not."

"You find just as much trouble," McGee reminded him dryly.  "So, big brother, how does it feel?"

"Great!  It means I don't have to deal with the library except for research times."  He beamed at Abby.  "I'm sure you could talk Harry into taking you over to see the little ones.  There's a Draco clone too."

She hugged him.  "Don't be jealous."

"I'm not.  I'm thankful it's not my kid."  She giggled and bounced off to share the good news with the others she knew who knew Alex.  Tony shook his head.  "My kids will never play with vases containing demons.  No matter how old they are."

"You're still not allowed to breed, DiNozzo.  Or the other two either," Gibbs said, glaring at him.  "That way your offspring can't ruin the world."

"Kate said I'd have one, boss."

"She lied.  No kids, DiNozzo."

"Yes, boss."

"Thank you.  Back to work."  He took an aspirin and got back to work.  He had to do something to take the image of a baby Alex sucking up to women and incubuses out of his head.  Before it got stuck.

***

Speed and Danny looked up from their sundaes, frowning when Alex appeared.  "Boss?" Speed called.  Horatio and Mac came out of the kitchen with Eric.  "Bad news?" he asked.

"They went with Grandma Des's plan to have heirs.  There's a mini me."  He beamed.  "He manifested while I was there.  He unstuck a vase containing an incubus and crawled around with it hanging out of his mouth.  I'm so proud."

Danny looked at him then cast a full body bind, eating another bite of ice cream.  "Let's detox him from the cuteness so he doesn't scare anyone but a goblin?"

Horatio and Speed both nodded.  "That'll work," Mac agreed, working with them to detox whatever had infected Alex before he bounced and cooed over the baby some more.  It wasn't normal Alex behavior.  It had to be a drug or a hex.  When they couldn't get it fully undone they sent him to his handler at Gringotts to deal with him.  They could fix it since they couldn't.

Horatio looked at Speed.  "If you ever have something that makes you bounce like that, we'll fix you too," he promised, patting him on the head.

"We'll even be nice and use anesthesia," Eric quipped, grinning at him.

"Thanks, man.  I'm not looking forward to heirs at all."  He finished his sundae and got up to get some more.  It was a good day for chocolate, ice cream, and whipped cream.  Danny came in to get some more too then went back to cuddling on the couch and checking on Tony.

Danny laughed. "Gibbs forbid Tony from having kids," he said happily.

"I can agree with that.  They'd be just as bad."  A book appeared on the table.  "What is... ah, the one I asked to borrow."  He picked it up to start reading it.

Danny read the title then grinned.  "I didn't know we needed to read up on kinky things to do while naked."

Mac spluttered.  "What?"

"Ritual magic using nighttime rituals," Speed explained.  "Kinky shit you do while naked and either around a bonfire, under the moon, or in a room with candles and things drawn on the floor."  He grinned.  "Kinky things done while naked."  He went back to reading.

Horatio took the book and put it down then pulled Speed up and back to the bedroom.  "We'll be back once I get him clear of whatever infection Alex brought with him."  Eric hurried to help; he loved to make Speed sane.  It was a fun game.  They never fully succeeded but it was fun to try.  They closed the door.

Danny picked up the book to read to Speed while they got it on.  It was a good read.  Mac took it from him a few minutes later when Speed started to chant something, taking Danny to give him the same cure.  Before he got more warped by whatever had infected Alex.

***

Aunt Cordy accepted her copy of the paper the next morning, frowning at the headline.  "Goblins panic and set in motion emergency clauses to ensure future of cursebreakers and bank!"  She handed it off with a small moan.  "Tell me he didn't scare them about him teaching the baby everything he knows and then some?"

That aunt read it over, nodding slowly.  "Yup and our little lunatic also threatened to turn other cursebreakers into him."  She looked up.  "They're making sure they survive long enough to get it out of their system since no one but him and his apprentices seem to be able to survive how he does things."  She turned the page, going to the farm report.  "The price of eggs is going up again."

Aunt Cordy sipped her tea.  "We'll have to keep the boys from the babies.  Before they really do turn into Alex and Draco."

"Too late," Alex's mother called, walking in with the mini Alex.  She handed over the thing he had been carrying.  "It's cursed to promote fertility and summon a demon to make you humongous."

"He'll be well-built like Alex is anyway," Nadia complained.  "I swear, half the time poor Draco can't sit."

Alex's mother sat down with the baby.  "Don't worry, sweetums, we'll make you a normal Dumass."  The baby cackled and they all sighed in defeat.  It was already too late.  "Are we planning another one?  Maybe a girl?"

"We can do that," Cordy agreed.  The baby got put onto the floor and they watched him crawl outside, heading to a momma unicorn to pet and coo over, plus try to nurse on.  She sighed in misery.  "Alex did the same damn thing."  The baby Draco made it out there before she realized it and latched on too, making the mother unicorn nuzzle them both.  "Bellow when we can have them back please.  They're still peoples and not 'corns."  She went back to the table, lacing her tea and handing on the bottle.  "This is all Des's fault, you realize that, right?"

Alex's mother took her own lace tea.  "She was insistent that there be a baby Alex, even if we did find other heirs," she agreed.  "Maybe we can get that nice Greg to make the next one a daughter that's truly Draco and Alex's?  Draco's influence would make ours calm down."

"We can check," Nadia said, going to floo call him.  She smiled at the happy man.  "Is it possible to mix seed we have stored of Alex and Draco to make the next heir theirs so the Malfoy side calms down the Dumass side a bit?"

He nodded slowly.  "Yes there is, but I'm not sure it'd calm them down.  Remember, Draco's a consort veela.  It's going to make it worse."

"Dear, the baby Alex said we could create already likes things that contain demons.  He crawled out to nurse on the unicorns."

He nodded quicker this time.  "I'll talk to someone who does that sort of work for you, Aunt Nadia.  Give me a few days."  He hung up and went outside to cackle so he wouldn't upset anyone in the lab.  Nick came out and gave him an odd look so he smirked at him.  "The aunts want to create a baby Alex and Draco by mixing them together.  They're hoping Draco's side is going to calm down Alex's nature.  The one they've already got of Alex likes demon infested things already."

Nick just nodded.  "Your friends are weird, Greggo."  He went back inside, going to find something to take that thought out of his head.  Before it got stuck.  It'd be a beautiful child but hell on the world.  He ended up banging his head against a wall to erase the image of the dark eyed, blonde little girl with the perfect smile and sneer who was hell on a broom.  He hated the spot visions he got.

***

Twelve years later, Professor Methos got called out to stop one of the children from beating the rest of them as they came off the boats.  It was not starting off to be a happy year.  The little blonde girl gave him such a sweet smile that he shuddered.  He knew her.  "No more picking on the boys."

"They're nasty and dirty, Uncle Methos," she purred, giving him a hug.  "Besides, one pinched and one made fun of my hair."  She glared at him.  "I can do wandless magic too," she reminded him.  He ran for the stairs to get away from her.  She smiled at him.  "I'll try to be a good girl."

"Try harder," he ordered, walking her inside.  Poor Hagrid shouldn't have to deal with the Dumass children.  The ones last year had been nearly as bad.  The one with him squealed and ran over to hug her brothers then took her place in line again.  He sat down, looking at Phillip.  Then at Severus.  Then at McGonagall.  None of them had been allowed to retire before the kids had gotten there.  The board was still being run by the Malfoy family and Narcissa wanted only the best teachers for her grandchildren.  Especially this one.  Even if she was going to make every single one of them alcoholics by the time she graduated.

Professor Armwrench blew in through a window and landed, dusting himself off.  He looked at the boys, who smiled and waved.  Then at the little girl.  "I knew I got summoned for a reason."  He walked up to the table, patting them all on the head.  "I'll see you tomorrow after classes, children."  He took his usual spot next to McGonagall with a smile.  "Alex told me I had a new set of priests and a priestess."

She handed over the wine.  "Indeed."  The sorting hat nearly cried at her, it wasn't going to be an easy decision.  It finally sent her to Gryffindor so she'd leave her brothers alone but it took it nearly an hour to make up its mind and it was tired afterward.  The others got sorted more quickly and it went to a good, long, well deserved nap.

"Yes, I can see the energy rushes I'll have now," Armwrench sighed, sipping his wine.  There were six other cursebreakers in the group.  He looked at the charms teacher, getting a smile from Luna Lovegood.  "There's six others."

"That's wonderful," she said happily.  "Lots and lots of work for you so you're not bored and I don't get pregnant this year either."

He raised an eyebrow.  "It was an idle threat to have Ethan knock you up, Luna.  Your children would be worse than the Dumass children.  Together."  He went back to his wine.  He'd need to stock up on some of the good stuff.  The little girl was already proving herself the prank mistress of her generation.  "I knew he shouldn't have named Tipsy a godmother," he muttered.  McGonagall  choked and gave him a horrified look.  He nodded.  "Her godfather is Speed."

"My poor house," she moaned, pouring more wine.  Severus sent up the bottle from his end of the table.  She looked at him.  "Do the boys destroy your house?"

"I'm their brother," he reminded her dryly.  "Though they're both miserable in my area.  The old family homily about Snapes being good in potions and Dumasses in Defense is true for this generation as well," he sighed, sipping his wine.  "This new one is no different and the next daughter isn't either."

"There's another?" Armwrench demanded, giving him a horrified look.

Severus took a large gulp.  "When Draco was drugged on that assignment, he did that blasted and loathsome spell then slept with his husband.  She's coming in three years."

"My sister Emily is amazing and just like her daddy," perfect little Draconia called up with a bright smile.  "She's on a dig this month too!"  Armwrench added more wine to his glass and drained it.  She giggled and looked at her housemates.  "I'm a direct conduit back to 3W," she said proudly.  "Aunt Tipsy's my godmother."  They adored her for that.  It was good to have a new Dumass/Weasley/Malfoy child in the house.  It'd been too long since there'd been any of those in the house.

It was going to be so much fun at Hogwarts for the next few years.  No one would ever be bored again!

Of Bonds and Bondings.

Danny looked at the box that had been sent to Speed that night, smiling at it.  "Greg needs what sort of help?"

"He's doing his next mastery paper and he's got to integrate the new stuff with what he's found that works.  So he wanted a proofread."  He shrugged and grinned.  "I'm proofreading to make sure it makes sense for him.  Then he's got to move on from there and discover something new and worthwhile with it."

"Charming.  If you need help let us know.  Did he need into our library?"

"Probably could help him," he admitted.  "Then again, I'm not so sure Alex's doesn't have everything he needs."

"That is a huge-ass library," Danny agreed.  "I could probably do a mastery in there."  Speed swatted him but gave him a fond grin.  "I know, I'm well out of practice for that."

"Yup, ya think?" Speed said dryly.  "How's the new minion?"

"He hates being called that.  Stella's been teasing him," he said with a smug look.

"But it's nice someone understands your evil moods?" Speed prompted.

"It's very nice Alex Dumass understands where my mind goes now and then," he agreed happily.  "We had a good long ice cream fit over some of our mutual evil thoughts a few weeks back," he offered with a smirk.  "We have firm plans if we want to take over the entire universe now.  Including sending Tonks back to scare more of it."

Speed blinked.  "Huh?"

"Long story.  Not allowed to tell.  Secret military secrets."

"Uh-huh."  Speed stared at him.  "Anything you *can* tell us?"

"Well, we found some of the Ancients that got taken from Britain way long ago.  We found some of their books too.  Well, they did and Alex helped."

"Uh-huh," Speed said more slowly.  "Where?"

"Not here."

"Not *here* as in the US?"

"Not here as in Earth.  Secret military secrets."

"Oh, shit," Speed muttered, going to get a drink.  "Want a beer?"

"No, I've got late shift tonight," Danny called, getting comfortable again.  "Remember Tonks?"

"Yup.  Metamorphagus."  He came back out with his beer and a bowl of pretzels.  "Why?"

"She's one who went to scare others."

"Got that part.  How?"

Danny pulled something out of his pocket.  "Alex said this does not get out of the group."  Speed gave him a look.  "Meaning the trio, not the full group.  Someone besides Greg and Nick need to know over here."  Speed nodded.  "Gotta promise."

"I pinkie swear," he said dryly, holding out a hand.  The small bundle of books was unshrunk and handed over.  He looked at the note on top then at him.  "You weren't kidding."

"I'm not but we have to know this because someone else has to have the information in case something happens.  We're the next biggest library he's ever seen."

"We dedicated a lot of energy and time to the library, therefore we can hide some information in there?"  Danny grinned and nodded.  "Have you told Tony?"

"I asked him if they had heard about that and he stuck his fingers in his ears and walked off humming."

"That tells me yes and he was freaked out."  He opened the first book, browsing the index.  He sat up suddenly.  "That _Umbricks_ book we saw in History!  It said something about these portals!"  He looked at Danny, who smirked and nodded.  "Oh, shit!" he said, hopping up, putting down both treats, staring at his soulmate.  "You're joking."

"Cheyenne Mountain," he said dryly.  "Hand to God, they sent Tonks up ta help when they found that's who had stolen the Ancients way back when and found their settlement.  They even found house elves."

"Oh fuck me," he said in awe.  "But....."

"There's a non-wizard who saw some Thinial, that ancient, pre-Atlantis language that used to drive you and Tony batty, there.  There's a lot of that there.  Alex ran into them on a dig, then he had to go back to them when he got a whole book in Thinial to decode, because he's one of the best that keeps running into it, so he had ta go back ta Jackson to see if he could help.  That's when they made the connection and talked to an ally."

"Ally?"

"Friend, comrade....  You can't tell anyone."

"Uh-huh," Speed said again, staring at him.  "Do I really want to know?"

"Probably not but you're over the library."

"Good point."  He paced while he read.  "This is not real."  He looked at him.  "We need to talk to Tony."

"I tried."

Speed growled and snapped a thought at Tony, getting back another dose of the 'lalala can't hear you' thing he had done to Danny earlier.  He picked up something and smiled, then disappeared, landing in the elevator at NCIS.  He walked off and hauled Tony up, then walked over and grabbed Gibbs by the hand and walked him off.  "I think we'll need you too."

"Speed, I can't," Tony defended.

"Shut up, Alex ran into them."

"Them?" Gibbs asked, letting Speed pull him after him.  Speed portkeyed them back to his place, finding Horatio there.  "Is this going to be something that the group should know?"

"Mac heard from my head," Danny admitted.  "He's ignoring this whole conference, Horatio won't."

"Of course I won't," Horatio agreed.  "I already knew.  Alex was babbling about it while he was in my cells."  He grimaced.  "Tony, Gibbs."

"I'm here.  Why?" Gibbs demanded.

"Because we're hiding some information in the library," Speed told him.  "It appears Alex found out the military's secret project to go to other planets?"  Gibbs blinked at that.  "Something about the scary one Tonks going to scare the universe?"

"They sent an auror?" Horatio asked.  Danny nodded.  "Why? All I got was portals and aliens with gold tattoos."

"The aliens with gold tattoos stole some ancients way back when, including the first in Alex's family line," Danny told him.  "He ran into Thinial, which is a pre-Atlantis language, Gibbs, on a dig that made him meet with that project.  Then he got sent a whole book in Thinial and he had to go back to them, leading to more information about wizards in space and those who had been stolen, including some house elves.  We're hiding the information and when I went to talk to Tony about it he stuck his fingers in his ears and walked off humming."

"Did you read _Umbricks_ in History, H?" Tony asked.  He nodded slowly.  "That deals with that project."

"They reopened it?"

"Yup, then a dig got Alex Dumass sent to the people who're over it to save their butts.  Then they had to collaborate again, and then they found more other places, but we've been hiding that some aurors are in space tracking things down and bringing back information and technology.  It's going through the Canadian ministry and then back to Britain, but it's a world-wide cooperative initiative at the moment," Tony told him.  He looked at his boss.  "We've run into them before but not really.  We've hinted at the side of the project.  Someone there correlated the school in my files with two other wizards who're working over there.  Someone outed me so I'm dealing with the issues they're having there.  Including translating Tonks into military."  He sat down and pouted.  "I do not like that project.  The aliens can kiss my ass."

"Okay, slower this time," Gibbs demanded.  Speed handed him the book.  He glanced at it then at him and Danny.  "Diary?"

"Journal.  Alex's.  He's like that."

"That's a good thing in many ways," he decided, reading over it.  He frowned, sitting down to read further.  He looked at Tony.  "When did you run into them?"

"About a year ago," he sighed, looking at him.  "One of the wizards had them do a records search through the military database for those of us with the skills so they could be drawn into the project to help."  He glared at his boss.  "They're still scared of you."

"Good!  I'm not losing you to some alien hunting team."  He went back to reading but Horatio took the book to look through.  He scowled and took it back.  "They're coming after my team member."

"We're just hiding it, H," Speed assured him.  "That way someone other than Greg and Nick Boyle know over here."

"Can this get you taken?" Horatio asked.

"Only if someone in the project hears they know," Tony quipped.  "Then you're going to wake up one morning and they're going to be missing.  Because they have big mouths," he said, glaring at Speed and Danny.  "I can't come visit you that far away, guys.  I sure as hell can't apparate into Cheyenne Mountain!"

"That's where they're doing this?" Gibbs asked dryly.  The trio nodded.  "Why?"

"Because that's where the know-it-alls are hiding," Tony said blandly, glaring at his boss.  "Can we please just hide those and never go near them again?"  Danny and Speed nodded.  "Good!  Please do!  I can't apparate all the way out there and if I came to visit they'd take me."  He disappeared, going to his apartment to sulk in peace.  Stella joined him a while later, giving him a hug, even crawling onto his lap to cuddle.  "They're going to get taken and used."

"They won't."  She stroked his cheek.  "They really won't."  He nodded.  She shook her head.  "No they won't.  No military commander ever born or created would ever put up with Danny."  He cracked a smile at that.  "Really.  Even Mac said that.  Even Gibbs said that."  That got a brighter smile.  "Or Speed.  Can you see Speed in the military?"  He shook his head, giving her a squeeze.  "Good."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "That's better.  Wanna help me shop tonight?"  He looked at her.  "Bra shop even," she teased.

"Only if I can put you in something trashy, yet uncomfortable so your men have to save you from it," he teased back.  He put his head on her shoulder when Danny and Speed showed up.  "I'm stealing her," he told Danny.

"Mine, wench," Danny said, stealing Stella back to kiss her.  She moaned and pinched him, pulling back with a smirk.  "But you can save me the torture of bra shopping since I've got late shift."

"Sure."  He got up and let Stella drag him back to her favorite place to shop.  She had even set up an apparation point near there for the other witches she knew.  "Should I be scared?" he joked.

"I hope not."  She led him inside.  "He's my approval committee."  Tony grinned and waved, letting her pick out what she wanted so he could choose something that would make Don and Danny pounce Mac to keep him from hurting her when he pounced.  She grinned at him for that thought and winked, holding something up.  He shook his head and found something else, earning a look.  He smirked and she went to try it on for him.

***

Speed walked into their new library/hiding place and found the locking cabinet he needed, sliding the books in there and locking it back up, then sealing it with a spell.  He turned and found someone in a uniform standing there.  "Hey."

"You know DiNozzo."

"I'm Speedle.  Of course I know DiNozzo.  We're bound."  That got a grimace.  "Soul bound if you must know.  Us and Messer up in New York.  Doesn't mean we give a damn about your project.  You guys creep us out.  I'm under orders from my boss to beat your asses if you try to conscript me and if I can't I'm under heavier orders to make the rest of the universe sorry for trying us and then come home for great sex."

The military guy blinked.  "I'm lost."

"We know Dumass."

"Oh!"  He nodded.  "Storing the information he had?"  That got a nod.  "Yeah, I'm here about that.  You don't want to join?"

"I hate guns.  I'm a CSI and I hate guns."

"Fine.  We're not at the level of conscription."

"Then how did you get here?"

He held up an envelope, letting Speed take it and sigh, getting him another book.  "Why do I need this?"

"It's a language text.  It's for your pet nerd."

"We have a few of those."  He looked at the note then at him.  "Okay.  Why send me to *you*?"

Speed smirked.  "Because he's one of our trio's evil minions."  He waved a hand and reset the portkey with the other one, sending him off.  He resealed the library so no one that wasn't already blessed of it could get in then went home to pounce someone.  Everyone was gone so he had to settle for the rest of his beer and pretzels, plus a new book he had found.  He'd pounce later and let them wipe the idea of aliens using goblin language out of his head.

***

Ron snuck into Abby's lab, giving her a hug.  "From Harry, but I'm sneaking around behind his back."

"I'm a one-wizard sort of girl, Ron," she teased.

"I know that.  I need advice."

"Well, I'm not really busy so maybe I can help," she agreed happily, pointing at a stool.  "Pull it over and sit.  Don't touch anything."

"He already told me that."  He pulled the stool over.  "Long time ago, someone told me I was going to be a guide."

"Like the book by Sandburg?"  Ron nodded.  "That's pretty cool.  So?"

"I got told I'd be a temporary guide to one, which I guess was Draco since he's got sensory spikes now and then with his emotional surges.  They also said I'd be a full guide someday."  She nodded and smiled at that.  "Unless that's Dawn, that's going to cause a problem, Abby."

"Well..."  She considered it.  "It might be Dawn."

"It could be. Probably not.  His book said it came from prolonged sensory deprivation.  She doesn't go into the tombs that much."

"How does Sandburg do it?"

"Not a clue, except he has a lot of problems with some people."

"Oh."  She grimaced and looked at her computer then at him again.  "Could you do what they're doing?"

"Wouldn't that make me not as effective?"

"That might depend on the person.  Because you're not gay, right?"

"No and there's a family curse on the last born son to be fertile."  He shuddered.  "Even if I was I'd never go that way."  He slumped. "Plus they all have to have a lot of patience.  You've got to be a bit submissive to their needs and yet strong enough to beat them into submission when they need it.  I've got one hell of a temper."

She nodded.  "That could be trouble, but again, couldn't that depend on who you get?   Maybe you've got a temper because they'll need you to, Ron."

"Maybe," he sighed, looking at her.  "I'm still worried."

"It's a good, realistic worry," she assured him.  Tony walked in.  "Did you know he's going to be like Blair?"

"I had heard that."  He gave Ron a hug around the shoulders.  "You're you and they'll figure out how to work with you."

"I'm still with Dawn and she's a mite protective, Tony."

"Which could help.  They might need you and Dawn as their guide, Ron."  He looked confused.  "Really.  It's been known to happen.  Sometimes you need a firmer leash holder."  He ruffled his hair.  "Now shoo.  Gibbs is on his way down.  We need Abby's brilliant mind focused."

"Sure.  Thanks, Abby."  He kissed her on the cheek and Tony nodded for him to disappear from there so he did.

"It is a valid worry," he agreed. "I'll get Blair onto his case to talk about that stuff."  He grinned. "Could do him good."  She grinned back.  "You, my lovely little dark angel, are needed to go over some encrypted stuff McGeek just got sent.  He's not here today and we need to know if it's important."  She nodded, logging into McGee's email to find it.  She frowned. "Mine, Abby.  They sent it to me for him."  She logged into his email and found it, frowning at it.  "Exactly."

"That's definitely an alphabet cypher."  She ran it through that search engine, getting a key.  Then she sat down to change letters back.  When she was done she read it and giggled, handing it over.  "There you go."

"Thanks." He read it then shuddered.  "Eww."  He walked off, going to call McGee from his desk.  Gibbs looked over so he let him see the email.  "It's me.   You got sent an encrypted message to my account.  I had Abby unencrypt it for you.  Yes, you need it."  He hung up.  "Family reunions.  Eww."

"Some families have those," Gibbs noted, handing it back.

"Not mine fortunately."  He waved it when McGee came up.  "Good luck with that."

He looked at it and moaned.  "Dad," he complained, checking the original message.  He nodded, heading back off.  "Thanks, the doctor is seeing me in about an hour, boss."

"Always something," Gibbs complained.

***

Mac looked out at his lovers, seeing them planning something quietly.  He mentally groaned and Don grinned at him.  "Looks like I'm in trouble," he muttered, going back to his office.  It was safer.  Lindsey walked in and closed the door.  "What's wrong?"

"I'm feeling odd, Mac."  She stared at him for a minute.  "All four of you?"

"Not originally," he admitted.  "Originally it was Danny and Don.  Then the bonds were started to help Don and Stella.  I got asked to help as a voice of reason."

"So you were in their heads and they made you?"

He looked at her.  "There was no 'making me', Lindsey.  They offered."  And nagged and tempted and drove him insane really.  "It was my choice when I was offered."  After all, he could have overpowered Stella, couldn't he have?  "It was a hard decision."  That he had fought for a long time.  He could admit to himself he had found himself drawn to Stella years ago.  He and Danny had a love/hate thing going on, they had for years.  He and Don...  Well, it was nice now that he knew.  He felt the warm, fuzzy feeling from the trio and Tony, making him smile and shake his head.  He sent back a 'get out of my head' to them.  He looked at her again, seeing the hesitant look.  "They're planning our next vacation."

"That Interpol case?" she asked hesitantly.

"Was Alex Dumass needing help," he admitted.  "It was a major theft ring that endangered the world."

"You mean the banks in the world?"

"No, I mean the world with some of the stuff they stole," he said honestly.  He stared at her.  "I will understand if you want to switch back down there, Lindsey.  That's why we sent you down there in the first place.  You were having problems dealing with how the team was."

"I remember."  She bit her lip then looked at him.  "It doesn't make you feel odd that Danny's tied to three others?"

"He's been soul-bound to them since he was thirteen.  That's deeper than any marriage."  Speed popped in.  "Isn't it?"  She squeaked and turned, spotting him.

"It is.  We're the reason Danny's survived some very nasty crap in his life, Lindsey.  Consider Danny, Tony, and I like triplets.  We basically are anymore. You weren't here then but Danny nearly went suicidal when I died.  Tony held him together and Danny clung to him for a very long time."  She slumped and nodded at that.  "Now that I'm back, my bitches are better."  She blushed.  "I never said it wasn't sexual between us.  By wizarding law we are now considered triplets.  By doing that joining we've created our own family line.  Even the old pureblood lines have to respect us for that.  If Danny has kids, legally they're my nephew or niece.  If I turn Eric into a girl she'll be Danny and Tony's sister-in-law by law. The only thing we never did was file the legal papers."

"That probably would've driven Tony's father insane, if not Danny's," Mac noted dryly.

"We have a sealed set with the Canadians.  Someone found out and came down to check us out, make sure it was a true bond.  We never *announced* it.  Bonds are a fascinating legal subject."  Mac's eyes went wide.  "Aww, there's my brother-in-law, the shy one," he taunted.

"I'm telling Horatio on you."

"So?  He's your in-law too, Mac."  He looked at her. Then he looked at Mac.  "Would you go talk to my parents for me?  They're giving Eric fits."

"Why?"

"I got resurrected."

"Oh.  Sure, I can do that."  Speed handed over their address.  "Phone call?"

"Might help.  Or invite them down for the night to talk.  Danny should probably come *later* instead of at the beginning.  My mother does know."

"Are you going to announce it?"

"We can," he admitted.  He thought at his other thirds.  They both shrugged.  Tony's family was in pieces.  Danny's was locked up.  "They said they didn't care.  We'll discuss it at the next family dinner."  He looked at Lindsey.  "They were trying to give you an easy out before, Lindsey.  Obliviating you too many times can ruin the mind.  Personally I think that's what's wrong with Ducky."  He shrugged and left again.  Though he did get swatted by Tony for that last comment.

Mac smiled at her.  "It's an eclectic family."

"I get that.  I..I just needed to clarify things to myself."  She left.

Mac sent soothing thoughts at Danny but he intercepted her and walked her off to talk to her, being gentle about it for now.  Including assuring her that they hadn't forced Mac into it.  He shook his head at that thought.  The last person who had forced him to do something was a drill instructor.  Stella would make a fine one some days but she wasn't one and Danny certainly wasn't.

***

Speed walked into Horatio's office.  "A legal fact just came up and I realized I didn't tell you something."

"What?"

"You know the bond the trio have?"

"Your trio?" he clarified.  He nodded.  "Vaguely.  Why?"

"You do realize that by law we're considered triplets?"

Horatio leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. "I hadn't."  He blinked while he thought then he looked at him.  "That's how the Caine family line was founded."

"It was.  It was two who bound together because only one could have children," he admitted.  "Different sort of bond, theirs was more legal and less invasive."

"Interesting.  Are you going to proclaim it?"

"We have sealed papers with the Canadians.  They could let it go.  Tony's family's not an issue anymore.  Neither is Danny's.  Mine's going to have a talk with Mac, I asked him to."

"I heard."  He smiled.  "It's a good idea since I couldn't calm them down."

"Plus he's closer and they liked Danny more anyway," he admitted.  "Would it bother you if we did announce it?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "Though if you turn Eric into a girl again he's going to thump you."

Speed snickered.  "It was a for instance, H.  Not a plan I have."

"Thank you."  He smiled slightly. "If you want to, I can be in-laws with the quad up there and whoever Tony finally settles with."

"Good.  Can you explain it to Eric?  I get lost in the memories."

"I can do that."  He smiled a soft, gentle smile. "I believe it's your day off?"

"It is and I'm going to go bother Tony for lunch."  He blew a kiss and disappeared from right there since someone was coming.

Frank leaned in. "It safe?"

"It was before, Frank.  Just going over something in the bond."

"I noticed the strange stops for thought you guys have."  He walked in and shut the door.  "What is going on with that?  Wolfe thought it was dangerous."

"Only if I'm caught at the wrong moment," he admitted.  "Usually I filter it when I'm doing that, store the messages for later."

"Messages?  You're telepaths too?"

"No," he said with a grin.  "A long time ago, somewhere in the six hundreds AD...."  A book thumped on his desk and he looked at it. "Or earlier," he corrected. "Danny."  Frank looked really confused.  He sat up.  "Way back when, Frank, someone found out how to bind certain people together.  Closer than a marriage, they bound their magics together.  As research and magical theory went on other charms were usually added in.  Charms like communication charms.  So I'm in a mind link with them if I want to open myself to it, but I'm not generally telepathic."

"The strange pauses for thoughts," he finished.  Horatio nodded.  "Is that what Speed has with Danny and DiNozzo?"

"No," he said quietly.  "When they were very young teenagers, thirteen, they enacted a different sort of bond.  We were just talking about that.  They're bound at the soul level.  They're basically considered like empathic triplets."  Frank frowned, looking confused.  "You know twins who are so close they finish each other's sentences?"

"I've met the Weasley boys, yeah."

"You know more than them?"  He nodded once.  "It's like that only there's three.  The bonding they enacted could only be completed if they were perfectly balanced at that point in time.  It was to make a force stronger enough to hold the world together by the wording in the books.  They were young and decided to use it for boring classes and cheating on a certain test."  Frank smiled at that, that was like teenage boys.  "By our laws they're considered triplets, the start of a new family line.  Any children the group has would be part of that.  There's lesser versions of that bond, which is what I'm part of.  The triplets soul bond is only Danny, Tony, and Speed.  The rest of us are bound with them included in another way.  That's where the communications charms come from."

"Like the Weasley boys' thing on their arms?"

"Exactly, only we made ours a bit closer than that, that way we don't have to be in physical contact with the tattoo to activate the bond.  Mac is still very loud."  Frank chuckled at that.  "He can be.  He and Tony get scenes mixed up now and then.  Speed and Tony do the same so I'm thinking that's a problem specific to Tony.   Most of the time it's a good thing.  It's...it's comforting to know that you have someone who's always there."

"So for you it's like a really tight marriage with those in the bond thingy. But there's an inner and an outer set of bonds?"  Horatio nodded.  "Then why wasn't Speed always like this?"

"Because they ended up having to bury theirs due to a very bad headmistress who decided they were bad for doing it, Frank.  She tortured them for a bit. She did it to any student who was smart enough to create their own spells.  She didn't want anyone more powerful than she was and especially not if they had any sort of leaning toward the dark arts.  She spent a long time trying to hinder the trio and stop them.  They ended up burying it thanks to her and life, but it was still there.  Danny and Tony both nearly followed Speed when he died."

Frank considered it then nodded slowly.  "I can get that.  We've all seen the twin that followed when their twin died."  Horatio nodded.  "So, to you it's like you married into a set of very tight triplets."

"It is, but they do like to cuddle now and then and I can't be jealous of that."

"Like twins who share or swap wives," he said dryly.

"Exactly.  We don't help them but every now and then the inner trio takes off for some time alone to work on things together.  Especially to help Tony since his former girlfriend just came back into his life.  His father drove her off."

"Pity.  The boy could use a steadying influence."  He stood up. "Are you okay with them?"

"I am.  I've dated a set of twins that tight in the past, Frank."  He snickered.  "I did.  It was rather odd but decent.  This is the same."  Frank nodded, leaving it there and going back to his desk.  He went to find Eric to talk to him about what Speed had reminded him about, including sharing some of his own family history to put it into context.  He even shared the examples Speed had used, making Eric get his devious look on his face as he planned to get him back later.  Speed was going to end up paying for turning him into a girl the last time.  It had been *fun* but not good for Eric's mind.

***

Speed sat down across from Tony at the table in the NCIS break room. "You're the one who'd have the most amount of problems if it was found out.  Your family would freak."

"Half of them realized it," he assured him.  "The others, well, Mom would try to get things back from the will, again."

"Can't we just ship her off or something?"

"I've thought about it.  After all, she is doing dark magic most of the time."  He ate a bite of his sandwich then looked at it.  Speed changed it back.  "Thanks."  He spit out the former bite.  "Danny's having an odd day.  Frog with tartar sauce."

Speed checked his own and changed it back too.  "They had Lindsey."

"I heard."  He ate another bite then changed it back himself and sent some at Danny, who claimed innocence.  He watched it change again and mirrored it back onto the person doing it, listening to Stella yelp.  It was changed back and he went back to eating before she slipped again.  "We need to spend some time at the castle this weekend."

"We do.  Do you think Dumass knew about this before he named Danny an adopted heir?"

"I personally think that was protection for us and from his scary aunts."

"Might be right," he admitted, thinking about it.  He made sure his sandwich was still okay then finished it.   He checked his soda and took a long drink.  "Do you think Alex is fully deaged?"

"I don't know," he admitted.  "I asked Abby if she could tell.  She's thinking about it."  He shrugged.  "At least we'd know.  This does mean that Don's his son-in-law, does he know that?"

"Alex probably does.  Don?  Maybe."  He shrugged.  "If they go for the fuller, traditional bond they'll have to take the Dumass ones."  He finished his soda, looking at the bottle.  "Cherry?"

Tony took a drink of his then nodded.  "Yup.  Cherry fizz."  He sent another thought at Stella, making her sigh and clamp down on her powers.  They both ordered her to go wear it out, it was backing up.  Danny had it well in hand.  He made her go to the park and fly for a bit since it was the off-season.  "Now what?"

"Do you want it to get into the open?"

Tony considered it.  "That would mean my kids would be both DiNozzos and our family."

"True.  Horatio's line started by a pair of women bonding since one couldn't have children."

"It's a strong, odd line."  Speed looked at him.  "Only one child per generation?"

"H might want kids," he admitted.  "We never talked about it.  Would they be in the same generation as Ray Junior?"

"Not temporally speaking.  Ray's the generation after Gen X'ers.  The kid would be the one after his on that path. On the family chart it'd be the same generation."

"Hmm.  Have to point that out.  Not that I like kids but Horatio and Eric love them and I'll put up with it as long as they change diapers."  He felt a brush against his mind from his lover, who assured him it wasn't necessary for him.  They could talk about that later.  "Anyway," he sighed. "You and Danny have the pureblood thing going, Tony.  Danny doesn't really have a problem since all his family's basically gone or distanced itself from him thanks to his parents.  You've got to think about the DiNozzo stuff."

"My father knew.  It was in the will that he had no onus against me for starting my own line.  Mom had no clue what he was saying.  She asked the lawyer, who didn't have a clue."

"Huh."  He looked at him.  "I can have them release it somewhat.  Not the names...."

"But that it happened?  That would protect the kids if any came to be."  McGee came in.  "Need an opinion, probie."  He came over, sitting on the other side of the table.  "You know there's two bonds right?"

"Yup, and you three are soulbound," he agreed.  "I went back to my books when I learned about the other one and saw how you three were slowly growing into it."

"Uncovering it," Speed corrected.  "Bad headmistress made us."

"I'm sorry."

"So's she now," Tony admitted.  "By law, that makes us triplets."

McGee smiled.  "That's one scary set of parents then.  Are you going to announce it?"  Tony shrugged.  "How long have you had it?"

"Thirteen," Speed admitted.

"Then let it be known generally so people don't flock to you like gurus."

"Don Flack gets that for the in-laws," Tony said with a grin.  "You think Gibbs would complain?"

"He already knows," he pointed out.  "You told him about all this stuff, right?"  Tony nodded.  "Including the dual layer?"  Speed nodded.  "Then why would he mind?  It's the start of a strong family line, guys.  Even if Dumass is hiding you three."

"That's true, that would make us adopted by Dumass as well," Speed admitted, looking at him.

"True.  Which means we'd all have to do the Dumass clan binding and marry at the castle."   They shared a look but shrugged, they didn't care. They looked at him.  "Think it'd bother things around here?"

"Only if you got pilgrims wanting to know how you had done it or people asking you to solve things.  Remember, that is one problem."

"Point.  Letting it out generally without letting the family members be known would be for the best."

"We should talk to Alex first," Tony noted.  "Make sure he realizes."

"I don't think that there's a problem there," McGee pointed out.  "He's the biggest smart ass in the world, isn't he?  He's also got one of the bigger libraries?" They both nodded.  "Did we think he adopted Danny to protect him?"

"Maybe," Speed admitted.  He pulled out his phone and called Alex's cellphone. "Hey, dad."  He grinned.  "Yup, in that sense."  He listened to what he said.  "He did know.  He said he could see the bond."

"Cool."  He listened through Speed, hearing what he said.  Danny sent back a 'go for it'.  Tony nodded that he agreed. "We can."

Speed smiled.  "If that's what you want, Alex.  Are you sure you want two more grown sons?"  He smiled.  "It would protect us and get the scary aunts off your back," he admitted. "Thanks, man."  He hung up and looked at him.  "He was doing it to give the new family line some stability."

"Which is nice of him.  Also it'd make Gringotts have a lot less paperwork."

"Point."

McGee smiled.  "Have fun with that, guys."  He went back to his desk.

Tony came out a few minutes later, after Speed had left.  "Boss?"  Gibbs looked up.  He wrote out the announcement and handed it over. "Can you proof that for us?"

Gibbs leaned back while he read then he looked at him.  "Huh?"

"By law, Speed, Danny, and I are considered triplets after what we did when we were younger," he said quietly.  "The inner bond."

Gibbs nodded, going back to his reading.  Then he handed it back.  "Odd spelling."

"With how Alex Dumass adopted Danny he's over us too.  That means letting his family barrister admit it to the world."

"Will it cause you problems here?"

"Only if we get pilgrims wanting to know how we did it."

"You'd better not," he warned.

"I'm not planning on it, boss."

"Good.  If that's what you want to do, go for it.  As long as it doesn't impact your cases here."

"Thanks, boss."  He went to email that to Harry's email.  He could print it off for Alex to hand over.  Alex had volunteered to shelter them.  It was what fathers did.

***

Harry handed Alex the email ten minutes later.  "From the insane ones."

"With what they did, they're considered triplets and founders of a new line," Alex said, making Ron choke.  "Usually bonds were done to help when a wife couldn't have children.  She'd bond herself to the mother she and her spouse chose."  He read it over and nodded.  "Oddly worded but we can fix that."  He looked around.  "Draco, can you get the family barrister here, babe?"

"Of course.  What nasty did you trip over this time," he sighed, coming out of the office.  He took the notice then looked at him.  "That means we've adopted all three of the trio?"  Alex nodded.  "You knew that?"

"I can see the bonds, Draco.  You never did a power sensing on them."

"Maybe I will the next time they're over," he muttered as he went to call the family barrister and hand that over.  "Here, from the adopted triplet sons."

"Triplets?"  Draco nodded.  He looked it over then at him.  "Who had prior knowledge?"

"They went to New York's school so maybe the Canadians?  They probably don't want their names bandied about but Alex adopted one to protect him."

"Adopting one out of a bond like this adopts the rest," he sighed, going to find that paperwork and see what sort of bond it had been.  His assistant found information on both and he sent a pointed owl note to Alex about that.  He got it back later that night with a simple 'I know I adopted the whole family as mine.  The rest are in-laws'.  He sighed and put the announcement into the Daily Prophet the next day.

***

Alex got woken up by a poke from a tiny finger.  "What, Me?" he mumbled.  She was the only house elf in the entire family that would dare wake him up.

"Aunts want Alex for breakfast or else am skinning Alex."

"Fine.  Find me something to put on."  He got out of bed, putting on the pajama bottoms and t-shirt, plus socks she found him, heading through the floor.  He flopped down in his usual chair, taking his tea and blinking wearily at his aunts.  "I only got to bed at two.  What?" he complained.

"Work or Draco?" his father asked.

"Work.  Library research.  I fell asleep on top of the book again."  He sipped more of his tea, blinking.  "What?"

"You adopted one of them?" his father prompted.

"Yeah, and I knew then, dad.  They need protecting.  Besides, who else am I going to leave the blasted library to?"

"That is a point," Aunt Cordy noted.  "You've definitely tied this family to some powerful lines, Alex."

"I still loathe children."  He gave her a look.  "If you want me to have kids, have someone have kids for me and raise them.  I don't like kids.  Kids annoy me.  I get hives from kids.  Even the ones I babysit now and then.  That's all I can stand of kids."

They all sighed and nodded.  "We know, son," his father soothed.  "You do realize they're part of their own family line?"

"Which we linked into so they have a stronger base.  After all, not like they want kids."

"Good point," his father admitted, thinking about it.  "Why only Danny?"

"Baseline move and he needed the protection with the Vineese having taken his family for breaking the covenant.  It let him have a more stable base to rebuild from.  Plus I did know then, the same as I figured out it was suppressed at that time.  They got that cleared up and I've mentored them back into a stable place.  Plus helped with the in-law situations.  Also, if any of the three of them have children it would protect them more and give them options for the kids."  He finished his tea and a house elf made him more when he held out his cup.  "Thanks, Honey."  He sipped and nodded so she went back to fussing over his aunts' plates.  "Interestingly enough, the Caine family legacy was started by a breeding bond."

"That is interesting," his father admitted.  "I've often thought of doing that to you, son."

"Go right ahead, Dad."

"Fine."  He looked at him then at his sisters-in-law and aunts.  They all shrugged.  "What benefits were you extending to them?"

"The same as the other adopted kid, Dawn, gets."  He yawned and leaned back to stretch.  "It's not really a problem, they don't want more than access to the castle for work and the library.  Sometimes Stella likes to come watch the unicorns.  She and Abby come together usually.  This way they're all protected and nothing can hurt that bond.  The same as me joining into the Bane's bond means that I basically joined them as a sibling, but they never registered that bond."

"Good point," his father admitted, seeming a bit less happy.  "It is stretching the family quite a lot."

"Dad, not like we're going to have to pay them in the wills," he complained. "The trio was to protect them and give them a stable base to work from.  Nothing more.   They're not after the money I've gathered over the years."

"We did have some."

Alex looked at him then shook his head.  "By the time the plague hit we were seriously starting to fall in wealth, dad.  Within another two generations we would've been poor.  Almost none of the family added to it."

"You've added a lot," Draco noted as he came out of the floo.  "You also left the connection open."  He took a kiss then sat down.  "We know it was unorthodox but it was necessary for them to be protected.  They're too strong not to and I'm betting that only the Banes jointly doing a spell is stronger."  Alex shook his head.  "No?"

"Nope.  There's stronger."  He looked at his father again.  "Why else are we having breakfast?"

"We haven't seen you in months, son," he said patiently.  "Neither has your family."

"I've written to them," he said, looking confused.  He looked at Draco.  "Didn't I?"  He nodded, sipping the tea the house elf got him.  "I was there at the christening and blessing too, dad."

His father sighed.  "Son, we would like you to take more responsibility for the family things."

"Then have more kids," he said bluntly.  "I'm happy with my life.  I'm still trying to figure out if my body clock thinks it's ninety or not."  He finished his last piece of bacon.  "I've got plenty of things to do without making Draco do more of the family's books.  He's already doing most of it."

"You are?" one of the aunts asked.

"I'm the heir's spouse," he said dryly.  "It's my duty, correct?"  Alex and his father both nodded.  "Then of course I am.  Though the family budget is a wreck at the moment.  I'm going to standardize the forms he was using fairly shortly.  Then I'm going to make him finish his inventory," he called when Alex wandered off.

"Yes, dear."  He blew a kiss.  "Going back to bed now."  He disappeared, heading back to the floo port.  He wandered down into one of the catacombs, finding his working bed down there.  He curled up in the cold sheets, pulling the thick comforter around him and falling back asleep.  It'd be a good few hours before anyone found him again, that way he could finally rest.

Draco looked at them.  "Are there other concerns?"

"You're getting your inheritance next year, Draco," Aunt Cordy reminded him.  He nodded.  "How are you going to deal with that?"

"That's why there's goblins."

"Good point," Alex's father agreed.  "Back in our former days we took a much more hands-on approach with it.  It cost more for them to manage it for us."

"Yes, but there were also more wealthy families back then," Draco pointed out.  "In the intervening time we've had massive deficit and economic depression.  The only family I know that came through that without losses was the Weasley clan, mostly because they didn't have anything before then," he admitted.  "I would prefer that we not be living on top of a storehouse."

Aunt Cordy looked confused.  "A storehouse at the castle?"

"There's ten or twelve catacombs," her new spouse said, Alex's father, patting her on the hand.  "Alessandra made two or three of her own."

Draco snickered and shook his head, creating a virtual map in the air.  "That's what the area under the mountains look like.  Plus there's the catacomb under the castle itself and the one under the bay.  Speaking of, we've got to finish up that ship's stuff and do something with that."  He made a note with his wand.  Then he made another one and looked at them.  "Wouldn't it be more prudent to move the aunt's jewelry collection back here?"

"It's family based.  Any female in the family can borrow the pieces," Alex's father said gently.  Draco shrugged at that.  "Any news on your mother, dear?"

"Not yet.  We have found out that her portkey was stolen.  We've tried any number of tracking spells.   The bank is about to declare her officially dead.  Personally I think there's something a bit darker going on but I can't be sure what."  He finished his breakfast.  "I should probably go track down my mate.  Do we need anything from the castle today?  If not, I'm going to finish his research project for him."

"Is anything in the storehouses coming here?" Aunt Cordy asked.  "Jewelry or anything?"

"We're still cataloging into unholy and things.  I doubt you want anything cursed to come here?"  She shook her head quickly.  "If there's something to be released it'll be next year most likely."  He pushed back.  "I'm talking Alex into getting rid of some of it.  There's a lot of unnecessary detritus lying around down there.  There's probably more books too," he said grimly, making the aunts laugh.  "You didn't hear that we had to add on a second library?"  That stopped that and he smirked and nodded.  "Exactly.  Perhaps Alex and I are going to go on vacation soon."  He headed back through the floo, going to their kitchen.  "Where is my bastard mate?"

"Bed in storage cavern sixteen," Me said quietly, looking at him.  "Alex sir is napping, Master Draco."

"That's fine.  Let him.  I'm going to the library.  Let the others wake up on their own but get Potter up so he makes it to practice."  She nodded and went to do that while Draco went to look at the books of collections the family had.  The jewelry one was now full of black ink.  Only a few entries were in the red ink that denoted them being outside the family's control.  He made a list of the missing objects in that and the art book, sending them to the ousted duo in Holland.  If they were with Justinius they'd be listed as missing since he had been expelled for demon summoning.  If not, maybe he knew where they were.  Once the letter was sent he got to work on his project with Weasley, a large trunk of jewelry that was their payment from the last set of jobs.

Familial Duty

Speed looked up from his morning off when he heard the flapping of wings, getting up to let the owl inside.  He took the letter from it and let it have a few pieces of owl treats, watching it fly off again.  He read the message and shrugged, sending a text message to Horatio to see what he wanted to do about it, turning around to find someone standing behind him.  "Don't do that, Alex.  Next time someone would shoot you."

"Sorry."  He shrugged, giving him a look.  "So, son.  We have to do the bonding this weekend," he said, putting an arm around his shoulders to walk him back to the couch.   "Then we have to do the family duties to the catacombs.  Then we've got the auction Sunday night so the entire family will be there.  That way you get to know which aunts to duck and run from."

"Small issue.  Eric and I are both on this weekend.  Tony hasn't made it home in four days thanks to his new case and Danny's got call this weekend too."  Alex moaned, hanging his head.  "Sorry, man."

"Okay, give me a second."  He pulled out his cellphone, tapping it with his wand.  "Gruinth."  The goblin's head spun into view over his screen.

"What is that?" Speed demanded.

"Theoretical floo application," he said with a smug look.  He looked at the goblin, who wasn't looking pleased.  "They've all got to work."

"Two weekends from now would probably be better," Speed offered, thinking at his other selves.  They all agreed that it should be fine, cases willing.  He looked at his buddy.   "They said cases willing two weekends from now would be best."

"Okay, we can schedule that," Gruinth agreed.  "Not like your next auction will have a lot of the backed up materials in it."  Alex gave him a look.  "Truthfully.  Now, what am I on?"

Alex beamed and closed the cellphone, cutting him off.  "Okay, schedule that weekend off, get us Abby as well if you can.  Harry's moping, again."  He stood up.  "Then we'll do the formal bonding and all that crap."  He grinned wickedly and disappeared.

Speed looked up.  "I can't get in trouble, Alex," he said quietly.  "H would skin my ass if I did."  He picked up his book again, going back to reading it.  Though he did type in a message to Eric about the time off.  That way someone could figure out how to take half their team off for the weekend.

***

Danny moaned and put down his head.   "Mac," he said quietly.  Mac looked over from his table.  "Two weekends from now?   Alex's?"

"Why?"

"Family stuff, auction, those things."  He looked at him.  "Abby for Harry."

Mac smiled.  "They're perpetually cute," he agreed.  "If we can, Danny."

"I have to."

"Point.  If the rest of us can, if not as many of us as can will go with you."  That got a smile and a nod.   "Good.  Anything else?"

"Apparently Horatio's brother sent a message to Speed about going back to where he had been."  He got back to work.  He sent a soothing thought at Speed, getting back a mental swat since he was engrossed in his book.  Tony's mind broke in and whimpered so they both sent cuddles at him, making him feel better.  Their new case was driving him insane.

***

Tony looked up from his typing.  "Boss, two weekends from now, us, Abby, Alex's.  Family stuff," he said, going back to his typing.  "I still can't find them, boss."

"What did Alex want?"

Tony looked at him.  "Family auction stuff.  Mostly family stuff with the auction of the catacombs to get it out of the way.  Figuring out which aunts are the scary ones, the rest of the family will be in.  Harry's moping over Abby again."

"The usual then?"

"And some fun stuff.  We've got to talk about the family stuff and bond into it.  That stuff.  Speed'll be all over the catacombs all weekend probably."

"That's fine.  All of us?"

Tony shrugged and sent an email to Harry.  "I'll find out."  He got one back from Ron, making him grin.  "Ron said if that's what we wanted but the main house would have all the scary bastards and aunts.  We'll have Sev and Holly plus our group.  Alex's other kid and her family will be at the manor house instead of the castle.  Way too many of them."  Gibbs nodded.  "Then maybe we'll see Harry make a bigger move."

Gibbs let out a small smile.  "Then we'd see a bouncy, frantic Abby."

"I'm sure they can handle a sudden move from Harry to Abby, boss," he offered with a grin.   "Remember, they'll have to marry in the ballroom.  It's family tradition.  The same as he'll have to lay some of the family's bedding in their marriage bed so any kids are conceived in it."  McGee gave him an odd look.  "The ones who weren't went evil, McGee."

"Oh.  Okay."  He just nodded.  "Think she'd wear some soft, fluffy, lacy thing?"

"Abby?" Gibbs snorted.  "It'd be black velvet knowing her."

Tony's head suddenly popped up and he snickered.  "Not necessarily."  He wrote someone else an email then got back to work.  "Boss, they're not in any database that we can hit.  International or US.  It's got to be a pseudonym."  He typed in the name, looking at it.  Then he sighed and started the various ways it could've been switched around, starting with name order.  "Huh," he said a few minutes later.  He looked at his boss.  "If we switch middle name to last name and first name to middle, then last to first, take off the third, we get one of her former coworkers, boss."  He came over to look, smirking some.  "Think we can start with him?"

"Let's start there," he agreed, walking off.  Tony and McGee rushed to follow him.  They had a missing coworker and Ziva was not getting out of this on her own.

***

Alex landed at the manor house, looking around.  "We're doing two," he announced into the kitchen.  "The other family can't get up here for two weekends from now.  Blame the work stuff."  He disappeared again before anyone could complain.

Aunt Cordy huffed.  "That boy!" she shrieked.  She went to call the family in New York.  Surely someone would answer the floo.  Don did.  "Donald, we are having a family meeting this weekend to do many things.  You will be here?" she demanded.

He slowly shook his head.  "Nope.  I'm on this weekend for cases, Aunt Cordy.  Danny, Mac, and I are on all weekend, Stella's got Saturday off for a friend's wedding."  She pouted.  "Sorry!  Working is like that."  He shrugged and disappeared, turning off their floo.  Then he went back to bed.  That way he didn't have to talk to any more scary aunts.  His own were bad enough and he was still avoiding his mother.  Something landed on the bed beside him with a bow.  He grabbed it and looked at the small cellphone.  "Huh."  He undid the ribbon, flipping open the cover.  A note fell out and he looked at it.  "Floo and cellphone.  Damn I know some smart people," he said with a small smile.   He called Alex on it.  "It's me.  I've got to work this weekend.  Stella's off Saturday for a friend's wedding but the rest of us are on."

Alex's head finally popped up.  "Needs to charge.  That's fine.  Two weekends from now we're doing it again.  Most of the family, all the scary ones, getting rid of some of the stuff that Draco hates in the catacombs."  He shrugged.  "Bonding the new sons into the family."  Don grinned at that even though the picture wavered.  "Recharge it.  Your usual cord should work.  Tell me if you figure out how to three-way the floo and a regular call."  He grinned.  "It's still experimental."  His head disappeared.

Don shut the top and got up to find his charging cord, sticking it onto it.  Then he went back to bed, sending a warm, fuzzy thought to Danny about that.

***

Danny jumped up, looking at Stella.  "Damn it!" he muttered, walking off.  He ran into Mac in the hall, pulling him out of the way.  "Alex managed to put the floo on a cellphone," he muttered in his ear.  "He sent Don one.  It's charging."

"Really?"  He considered that.  "That could have a lot of uses," he decided.  "I can see a lot of uses, especially in the field."  He smiled at Danny.  "We'll check it out tonight after we get off."  He patted him on the shoulder. "Thank you."  He went on and Danny went back to work.

Stella gave Danny a 'well' look.  "Alex came up with a new phone design so you don't have to be beside the fire at his house to use it."

She decoded that mentally then smiled at him.  "Really?"  He nodded.  "So can we call Aiden that way tonight?"

"If it works," he agreed, shrugging a bit.  "Don's back in bed but Alex gave it to him to test."

"Very cool."  She handed him a sample.  "Run that for me?"

"Of course."  He settled in to go back to work.

***

Tony looked up, looking thoughtful.  "I want that toy," he complained.  He got back to work.

"What toy?" McGee asked.

"It's experimental, something Alex was apparently working on.  It solves ye olde fireplace sitting problems."

McGee frowned at him.  "Really?"  He nodded.  "How?"  Tony tapped his phone.  "Okay, *that* one I want to see in action.  Can you get a sample?"

"Don has one.  It's charging."

"Hmmmmmmmm," he hummed.  "Maybe Abby?"

"Maybe."  He got back to work.  The geeks would find a way for him to play with the new toy.  He sent that at Speed, getting a pet on the head, then a swat.  Though he did share his memories of it.  It was a neat new toy.  Alex had some of the best toys ever.  He should pout.

Gibbs looked over.  "DiNozzo, you can play with whatever toy it is later.  Did you find anything?"

Tony looked at him.  Then at his computer.  Then back at him.  "The coworker's name isn't real.  His social security number is fake and belongs to someone who survived the Holocaust, who used to live in Albany, and his address is in the middle of the Potomac, boss."

"What about in person?"

"I called, boss, he's out today," McGee defended.  "That's why I let Tony do his home address before we went out.  Something seemed hinky to me but I don't know that area very well yet."

"BOLO?"

"Already done," both males said in unison.

Gibbs just nodded.  "Do what you can."

"Still trying, boss," Tony promised, getting back to work.  Speed sent an absent idea and he found the map and crystal in his desk, going over to Ziva's to find something of hers.  Then he went to work in the elevator.  He came out with a block and Gibbs smirked.  "It's as close as I can get it."

"Address?" McGee asked, pulling up a map program.  Tony let him have it.  "We have.... four abandoned buildings on one side.  We have twelve apartments on another, there's a small building in the middle of the block behind all the squares' sides, and we have mostly empty buildings on the other sides.  One very old restaurant."

"That's a good place to start," Tony decided, grabbing his gun and bag.  "C'mon, Probie.  We'll scout and call, boss."

"Good."  He watched them go, smirking a bit.  Sometimes the magic stuff was handy.

***

Draco was having a pouting day so he went back over one of his old school journals, frowning when he read over something.  "Emilia and I dream talked?" he muttered.  He got up, going to find Alex in the library.  "Emilia and I dream talked back in school?"

"Yeah, right before she activated you," Alex said absently.  Draco pinched him, earning a frown.  "Why?"

"My mother?"

"Could work but I have no idea how it happens.  You'd have to ask her."

"I can do that.  I'm heading to their place."  He called first then headed through the floo.  He rolled out and dusted himself off, looking at his cousin.  "We dream talked back in school?"  She nodded slowly.  "Mother?"

"I hadn't even thought about that," she admitted, frowning a bit.  "We can work on it.  'San, help him dust off, dear."  She brought her feather duster over to dust him off, earning a smirk.  "She's in a cleaning mood."

"I can see that.  The twins?"

"Hiding.  She dusted them until they crawled off and hid with Night."

"Your house elf is very protective," he said dryly, coming over to work on it with her, letting Cassandra keep dusting him for now.  If it made her happy he wasn't going to complain.  Even when the dust started to float off his arms for her to sweep at in midair.  She smiled and walked it off to put back into the fireplace, shaking off her duster to make it flow back into the small opening.  "She's good."

"She is," she agreed happily.  She found the reference books they'd need, sitting down next to her cousin to teach him how to dream walk.

***

The Banes decided to hold a conference.  They were generally feeling bored at the moment.  Draco and Emilia were busy, Alex Dumass was reading and some of them could hear him muttering it in their heads thanks to the communications charms they wore.  It was not amusing them at the moment.  Finally one of them yelled that they didn't need a bedtime story now, but to try back in a few hours to make sure.  Alex's answer of 'let me know when' and a smutty thought about a bedtime story of him and Draco made most of them laugh.  It was not boring being bonded to Dumass by any means.

They decided a group project was in order so they headed to the castle, those that were off.  Alex always had new things to see, touch, play with, or make them unbored quickly.  Alex gave them an odd look.  "Bored," Tipsy reminded him.

He looked behind him at the library then at them.  "Read something."

"Not that bored," Greg complained.  He went to browse the books, finding Alex's Books of Fleshly Sins as the section was now titled by, it looked like, Ron.  He started to flip through the one nearest at hand, the one for the year before his birth.  "We could play 'Six Degrees of Separation' out of this," he realized.  He found a few other surnames he knew.  "Hey, Tipsy, he slept with a Ramvette."

Tipsy came over to look over his shoulder.  "That's my aunt.  Alex, you slept with my aunt who hates being touched?" she demanded, turning to look at him.

"Apparently," he said dryly but absently.  He was back in his book.  "As long as I'm not the reason she hates to have people touch her, I don't mind."

Tipsy groaned and gathered the others who had come, plus the books around their birth years.  It was more fun that way.  They decided to take them to the sitting room off the ballroom.  It was comfortably shabby in there. There were plenty of seats.  The house elves were more than happy to bring anything they wanted to drink or eat.  They settled in with the books, flipping through them.  Tipsy realized a few things.  "We can connect nearly any woman of sexual age to Dumas.  We could use this very easily in any game of real life six degrees."

Greg smirked.  "Anyone else wonder if there's more hidden Dumass kids?"

The others grabbed the books to start going through. Greg found one that made him frown.  "He slept with my mother?"

Nick Boyle looked over his shoulder.  "By the codes next to her name, he broke her in, Greg.  Huh.  Maybe we should test you to see if you're a Dumass by birth?"  he teased.

Greg looked at him.  "I look too much like my father."  He went back to reading, finding a few he expected.  "Hmm, he did get that princess."  Tipsy gaped so he let her see it.  The twin that had come with her instead of running the joke shop gaped at the entry.  "We never knew who she had gotten stuck on."

"Hopefully it was someone after him," Tipsy complained, looking at the date.  "No, she slept with him trying to get rid of her veela infatuation."  They all sighed in relief.  That would have been a scandal that could've given them all nightmares when people came to hunt Alex down for debauching the young Princess.  Tipsy sat up suddenly.  "Greggy, what was Tony's mother's name?"

He leaned over.  "I think she was an Amelia.  Why?"

She pointed at one entry.  "Isn't that..."

"Damn, she was with him," Greg agreed.  He called Tony the mundane way.  "What's your birthday?  Because we're in Alex's books of sin."  He listened then looked at it.  "Perhaps you were born about two weeks early?  Because Alex slept with an Amelia Doorhoven in September the year before you were born."  He smirked at the yelling.  "Sure, come over when you're done."  He hung up.  "He'll be over later."

Nick took Greg's book to look at the entry for his mother.  Then he looked at Greg and did the paternity charm they had been taught by Philip.  It came up and Nick blinked then looked at Tipsy, who stared.

"There's no way that's right," Greg complained, looking at it.  He got up to get a swab from Alex and then went back to his job so he could run them.  His boss gave him an odd look when he came in.  "Alex slept with my mother.  I'm making sure I'm not a Dumass by birth.  Before I have worse problems than Nick."  He kept going, ignoring the questioning looks.  He ran the test himself then sent a thought back at the family when it came out a few hours later.

Alex looked up from his reading, frowning.  "No you're not.  I may have tainted you but you're not mine, Greg. You don't get into enough trouble and you're good in potions."  He went back to reading.  This was a really interesting book and Draco had wanted him to read it with him.

Severus Snape walked in and looked at his biological father.  "Did we perhaps have other accidents?" he asked dryly.

"No," he said, looking up at him.  "But there is the chance that I could have tainted them."

"Tainted?"

Alex got up and grabbed a book, handing it over.  "A more powerful wizard can taint the offspring of another one by having sex while his offspring is in-utero.  It's been a well known fact for decades."

"I think that was disproved," he said cautiously, looking at the book.  He frowned as he flipped through the index.  Then he looked at his father.  "This was disproven nearly thirty years ago, Alex."

"Then someone last year reproved it."  He handed over another two books. "It's been a well known fact for a very long time.  Even if someone decided that DNA overrode it there's still power corruption."  Greg reappeared, scowling.  "What?"

"You came up as my father."

Alex pulled out his wand and cast a very old paternity charm.  "There, I'm the one who tainted you into being a wizard, Greg.  Teach Sev how we reproved it."  He walked off, going back to his comfy reading chair and his book.

Greg snatched it to read over, frowning at it.  McGee walked in the door looking confused.  "How did you get here?"

"Tony sent me.  He's pouting."

Alex looked over at him.  Then he pointed at the books the two potions masters were holding.  "Take those to Tony, McGee.  Then remind him that he doesn't look at all like me.  Even Sev looks somewhat like me in the right light."

"He gets into the same sort of trouble you do," Greg taunted with a smirk.

"That's why I'm adopting the trio, dear.  Now, go be a good boy before I compel you to tell your mother that you know me and remind her that she was pregnant while she slept with me."  Greg shuddered and pulled Sev off with McGee to talk to Tony about these theories.

Tipsy came down the stairs a few minutes later, giving him a hug. "At least you only slept with my aunt," she offered, making him smile.  "Where's Draco?  He's not in your lap or fussing at the house elves that we've heard.  It's unusual to not see you having smutty husband thoughts."

He smirked.  "He went to see Emilia because he realized he might be able to contact his mother via dream walking."

"Ah, one of those scary veela skills.  We'll be waiting to see if he comes to visit mine for smutty thoughts of my boys."  She went back upstairs, going to tell the others and see if he was connected that closely to any of the other Banes.  Fortunately they couldn't find any other mothers but a few fathers had shown up.

***

McGee handed Tony the books.  "Alex said to remind you don't look a thing like him and that theory was reproven a few years back.  Greg's doing it for his own peace of mind too."  He went back to his seat.  "Sorry, boss, but panicking Tony made me go."

"Where?" he asked as he walked over and sat down.

Tony looked over at him.  "Apparently Alex slept with my mother about eight months before I was born."  Gibbs looked confused at that.  "I was born at eight months and a week, Gibbs."

Gibbs snickered.  "You don't look a thing like him but it would explain why you're such a playboy."

"Probably why I get so many women too," he muttered, settling in to read the books he had been sent.   He called Speed to talk to him and Danny over their private bond, getting petted by Speed while Danny pointed out how it had always been proved before.  They could test Tony to see if that was right in his case.  If so, then they were safe.  If not, there was a very good reason why Tony and his soul-bound mates were being brought into the family.  Though why he hadn't heard about this before he wasn't sure.  He decided to write his mother a nice, mocking letter to make her scream at someone else for a change.  That way she'd leave him alone for a few more weeks.  He wrote it and sent it to his owl at home with a swish of his wand and a muttered banishing charm.  Then he got back to work on his reports.  He really hated to do paperwork but someone had to do it and it had been his job that had helped.

***

Draco found his mother later that night, in America, in Boston.  He walked into her dream, frowning at her.  "Mother, are you perhaps in trouble?" he asked dryly.

"No, Draco."  She gave him a hug and a smile.  "I'm not.  Why do you ask?"

"Your portkey was stolen and rendered unfindable."  He gave her a look.  "The goblins have you listed as being missing and presumed dead, Mother."  She frowned at that.  "Frown lines."  She cleared it up.  "Anyway, do you need a rescue or are you satisfied with living in the wilderness frontier over here?"

She gave him a look.  "Boston is not the wilderness, Draco darling."

"Mother, the Americans aren't even smart enough to have a Ministry," he retorted.   She rolled her eyes.  "Fine, you'll be seeing me tomorrow."  He turned and stomped off.  He woke up and shoved Alex.  "She's in Boston."

"Hmm.  Long traveling time to ancient families," he said, sounding half asleep.  "Near the Salem academy."

"True.  We should go rescue her," he noted patiently, knowing his mate would agree when he woke up and remembered.

"Sure.  Let me sleep then we'll go be shiny knights."  He snuggled in better and smiled when Draco curled around him.  "Better."

"Night, love," Draco said, smoothing a hand through his hair to keep his poor boy asleep for a while longer.

***

Alex landed them on the proper doorstep, frowning at it.  "I know this putz.  He had a few of the family's portraits too."  He pounded on the door, getting the owner, who did not look pleased to see him.  "You have my mother-in-law hostage?" he demanded, walking in, Draco calmly following him.

"Now see here!  You can't come in here like that and make absurd demands."

Draco glared at him.  "Veelas can dream walk," he said simply.  He went pale.  "Now, where is my mother?  Before I help my loving mate destroy everything that you've ever wanted out of life and everything you and your family owns?"  The man opened his mouth.  "Ah!" he ordered, pulling his wand.  "My mate is a champion dueler and he has filled in what gaps my father left.  Now, where is my mother?  This is the last time I ask...politely."

Alex looked at his husband.  "You know, you're scarily turning into your father, Draco, love."

"Take that back!"  He swatted at him.  "Just for that, no sex tonight."

"That's fine, I'll go clean more things in the storage cavern."  He shrugged and smirked at the man.  "Let me reintroduce myself.  My name is Alexander Mikal Dumass and this is my husband, Draco Malfoy-Dumass."  The man went very pale.  "Now, where is Narcissa?"

"She's asleep."

"Held that way or not?" he asked coldly.  The man turned and ran.  "Fine, we'll do this *my* way then."  He pointed his wand at a nearby fireplace.  "American Auror's Association!"  A head popped up immediately and opened his mouth.  "Do not start!" he snapped.  "The owner of this residence has kidnaped my mother-in-law and is keeping her drugged at the very least we suspect.  Your choice is me destroying Boston for this insult or not."  He shut off the floo and by the time he had counted to twenty there were three aurors on the doorstep ready to rip the house apart for him.

"I think she's upstairs," Draco said, handing over something.  "That's from her hairbrush."  They nodded and tracked her with it, finding her unconscious on a bed.  He walked in when they motioned him up there.  "Mother," he sighed, checking her over.  "She's being held asleep?"

"Apparently," the lead auror agreed.  "How did she get here?"

"He kidnaped her portkey," Draco said grimly.

"I didn't think that was possible," one said, looking confused.

"Voldemort managed it a few times," Alex said, leaning on the door frame.    "Our Ministry knows how it happened.  She was heading for the Hamptons, Draco?"

Draco nodded.  "We have a vacation home there.  She thought it quaint and charming since it only has ten bedrooms and three house elves."

The aurors nodded at that.  "We'll send her to the nearest healer, sir."  He glanced at Alex.  "Gringotts will be notified?"  Alex nodded once.  "Thank you.  There's a good hospital by Cambridge, we'll bring her there."

"Thank you for you assistance," Draco said, shaking his hand.  "Do whatever you want with the slimebucket downstairs before I do something drastic when I lose my temper.  We'll be amused no matter how much you torture him."  He smiled sweetly.  "Mother might even cheer."  He followed the two taking her down to portkey in with her.

Alex smirked at the last one.  "He's also stolen from my family in the past," he noted dryly.  "This is the second time I've seen him.  Draco is a bit upset with him over this as well.  His mother's been missing now for nearly a year."

"We'll handle him, Mr. Harris."

"Dumass," he corrected.  "Harris was who they put me under as to protect me as I regrew."  The man shuddered.  "Exactly.  And I didn't even have access to my magic until that reunion."  He smirked as he walked out.  "The auror wants to talk to you," he called in a sing-song voice as he walked out.

The auror pulled himself back together again and went to interrogate the nice senator.   Something was going to have to stop him before Alex did legitimately destroy Boston in defense of his family and their things.  Because he had no doubt the boy could, would, and then would dance on the ashes of most of Massachusetts.

***

Alex landed in the local version of Gringotts, grinning already when a goblin gave him an evil look.  "We found Narcissa Malfoy."

"Where?"

"Forcefully kept asleep in the same house that I had to rescue some portraits from."  The goblin moaned.  "I called the aurors association.  They're keeping me from destroying Boston."  He grinned sweetly.  "Can you please pass that back to London's branch?  I've got to keep my mate from fussing over his mom."  He disappeared again, going to stop Draco from ranting at the nurses who weren't giving him any information.  "Dear, it does take them a bit to figure out what's going on and how best to help her," he soothed, leading him to the waiting room.  "I'm sure they'll know something in a half an hour.  Then we can come start to threaten and yell again."  He nodded, his lips pressed tightly together, but did let himself be sat and held and comforted so he'd calm down a bit.  "I'm sure she'll be just fine, love," he soothed.  "Narcissa's a strong woman if she survived your father for so many years."  He nodded, curling up against his side. "That's my good boy," he soothed, stroking his side.

"Alex, we're in a bloody hospital.  No sex in hospitals."

"Wasn't even considering it."  He grinned at the nurse who was giving them horrified looks.  "It would calm him down.  Has anyone used that one new ritual spell to make men fertile yet?  I heard someone over here had."

She walked off whimpering.  "Someone made a spell so men can get knocked up?" she asked her supervisor.

"Someone British did it so older wives didn't have to endanger their health," she said grimly.  "Why?"

"The one who calmed down the yelling blond asked if we had seen the person who did it."

"Ah.  No, he's in DC."  She went to glance out there, going pale.  "Mr. Dumass?"  Alex grinned at him.  "You're here with Mrs. Malfoy?"

"She's my mother-in-law.  This is my snookums Draco Malfoy-Dumass.  Is there any word yet?" he asked with a gentle smile.

"Let me check," she promised. "I know how much curse breakers hate to be in hospitals."  She went jogging up the hall to tell the doctor that.  "Her son-in-law is a cursebreaker."  He gave her a horrified look.  "He's Dumass!"

"We'll have information for them within the next ten minutes and we may be able to switch her somewhere closer to home by tonight," he told her.  "I'll be there soon."  She nodded, going to tell him that.  He knew the rules of cursebreakers very well.  If they were in a hospital you had better have someone like Mediwitch Pomfrey on hand that scared them all or you had better have plans to rebuild.  Cursebreakers didn't wait very well.  Nor did they do medical care very well.  Making them do both together had caused major renovations at many hospitals all over the world.  That's why Gringotts had to send most of them to Mediwitch Pomfrey, they had to rebuild a few hospitals and hated the expense.  He finished his exam and walked out, smiling at the intact condition of his waiting room. "Cursebreaker Dumass?"  Alex smiled and nodded.  "And this is Mrs. Malfoy's son?"

"I am," he agreed.  "How is my mother?"

"She's been potioned fairly heavily.  She'll be waking up naturally in about six hours."  He sat across from them.  "Forcing her to wake up sooner could warp her body a bit and would lead to longer term care.  It appears she's taken no harm from her sedation."  Draco relaxed and nodded, smiling a bit.  "The only real question I have is do you want to keep her here or in England?  I know the family Dumass lives over there."

"Will the aurors need a statement from her?" Alex asked.  "I didn't think to check."

"If they do, they can call.  They knew who you were," Draco reminded him.  That got a nod.  "We can take her home, just let her rest?"

Alex gave him a squeeze.  "We'll bring her to the manor house, letting the aunts have someone to fuss over for a bit.  How about that, Draco?"  He beamed and nodded.  It'd get them off their case for a bit.  He looked at the doctor.  "Would that be acceptable?"

"Perfectly, as long as someone was there to watch over her," he agreed with a relieved smile.  He didn't want them to have to wait there.  He liked his waiting area.  "Did you want to arrange the portkey now?"

"We can move her our way," Draco assured him, getting a nod from Alex.  "Thank you, Doctor."

"You're more welcome.  Let me get the paperwork for you, boys.  It'll be about another twenty minutes."  He went to do that, letting Draco sign things while Alex prepared his mother-in-law to head home with them.  They all left together and all the nurses breathed a sigh of relief.  Their hospital was still intact.  It was cause for celebration.  Even when the aurors came in and they had to tell them they had sent her home to rest.  They understood why.  They had seen the damage cursebreakers could do.

***

Alex landed and caught Narcissa before she could fall from her levitated perch.  "Aunts!" he bellowed.  They came running.  "She was kept sedated for most of the time she was gone.  The doctor said she'd be up and around in about six hours.  She needs someone to take care of her until she's able to be on her own again.  Can you?"

"Of course!" Aunt Nadia said, swatting him before she and a few others took Narcissa up to a guest suite.

Aunt Cordy took the paperwork from the hospital.  "That was a quick trip," she said, looking up to find them both gone.  She smirked.  "Think this gets you out of nagging, do you?  Not hardly," she called.  She headed up the stairs.  "It only took them twenty minutes to check her over and discharge her.  Apparently they've seen Alex at that hospital before."  The aunts laughed at that and decided what to do to keep her comfortable until she was ready to wake up on her own and then how to start to feed her again.  She'd have to have soup for the first few days.  Though, they had been a bit bored....

***

Alex leaned on the half-door into the kitchen at the burrow.  "We found Narcissa," he said.

Molly dropped the plate she was washing, then swore under her breath and fixed it with her wand.  "Is she all right?"

"Kept sedated.  She's at the manor house."  She smiled at that.  "Is Ron hiding?"

"Of course.  Bill's up, Alex."

"Ah.  No wonder.  Good, tell him to come clean out his storage area before Draco protests some more.  He's getting fussy about those sort of things and Bill should have his own storage area by now."

"I will.  They're out by the pond.  How is Draco taking it?"

"We're letting the aunts fuss so they quit nagging us," he said dryly, giving her a look.   She laughed and shook her head so he grinned sweetly.  "Is Harry hiding with them too?"

"The last I knew he was but he had practice in about an hour."

"That's fine.  I got the goblin-gram saying that they wanted to have me clean out a few other artifacts that were being reclassified as dangerous.  Since we were working on it together and that's really an apprentices job...."

"I'm sure he'll be back soon to help you some more, Alex."

He grinned.  "I love apprentices.  They make good pack mules too.  Did Ron tell you how heavy his last pack was?"

She laughed.  "Behind you?"

"Both of them.  Bill was complaining about being a pack mule too."  He looked at them.  "The goblins want to reclassify some things.  Bill, Draco said to get your shit out of his way, it'd dusty and nasty, and gee, Ron.  Looks like you're the only apprentice available."

"Don's not busy," he complained, grimacing some.  "What's wrong with Draco this time?  Too sore for sex?"

"We found his mother.  The aunts are taking care of them so they quit nagging us."

"So we're hiding?" Bill suggested dryly, smirking at him.

"Hell yes!  Once she wakes up they'll all go back to nagging for grandchildren."  He rolled his eyes.  "Coming, apprentices of mine?"  He grinned sweetly.

"Fine," Bill agreed.  "I could use some more ready cash anyway.  Mum, we'll try to be back for dinner."  They headed back to the castle together, him letting Ron do the camp moving spell to make sure he could do it properly.  He was almost impressed.  His baby brother did good work with this stuff.  "What are we reclassifying?"

"The new stuff's in the study."  He summoned it and the artifact books, handing Bill his.  "Here.  I think you got some interest and one of the statues was having baby statues."  He went to his own personal one to hunt out what the goblins had wanted back, sighing in displeasure about how far back things were buried.

Bill smirked at Ron.  "Don't have your own yet?"

"I have a small one with Harry.  Want me to call Flack?"

"Sure!  The more the merrier.  We'll make it an indexing party or some such."  He clapped him on the back, going to look at his pregnant statues.  He'd never seen one give birth before but the little gold elephant was pushing out a baby gold elephant.  "Huh."  He ran a checking spell over it but they both seemed healthy enough to him.   Don walked in with a mug of coffee.  "Tired?"

"First day off in three weeks," he admitted.  "What's up?"

"Goblins are reclassifying and we're all hiding from the nagging coming up since they just found Narcissa.  Plus Draco's on an anti-dust rant."

"Ah, again," he said, going to help Ron in his and Harry's cave for a bit.  He could do his own later.  "Hey, Alex, you ever figure out if Tony's yours?" he yelled a few minutes into the boring task.

"I tainted him, he's not mine," he called back.

"Didn't you say the same thing about Snape?" Ron yelled.

Alex walked in, scowling at him. "I did not!"

"Then do a paternity test that would tell that.  Just so Tony can quit angsting about it.  He sounds like a teenage girl trying to decide if she's having sex with her half-brother or not."

"Eww," Alex said, going to do that.  It was a better waste of his time than indexing.  He was scowling when he landed behind them in the field, doing the charm before anyone realized he was there.  "Well, shit," he said, making everyone stare at him.  "Sorry, Tony."

"Not your fault, Alex."  He looked at him.  "Tainted, right?"

Alex shook his head slowly.  "But the good news is that you and Sev and the other daughter get along pretty well," he said with a grin before disappearing again.

Tony hung his head and moaned, shaking it some.  "Boss, I've got a headache."

"It explains why you've dated so many women," McGee quipped.  "With his reputation, you'd either follow or be a monk."

Tony glared at him.  "I slept with mine for totally different reasons, Probie.  Thanks anyway."  Gibbs patted him on the back then smacked him hard on the head. "Thanks, boss, needed that.  Where was I before I had that momentary blackout and nightmare?"

"Mapping," he ordered.  Tony nodded, getting back to it.  He'd yell at Alex for doing that in the open during a case later on.  It was mean to his poor agent.  McGee's phone rang so he watched him answer it quietly and listen then hang up and clear his throat.  "New information on the case?"

"We're to thank Alex for being such a good hand at waiting and not destroying Boston.  The aurors thought it was very decent of him to call them instead of destroying all of Boston to get his mother-in-law back from the senator.  They said it was also nice he managed to wait at the hospital without destroying it.  They wanted to thank him for using normal people manners while he was in America again."

Gibbs looked at Tony.  "Huh?"

"Cursebreakers loathe hospitals or being sick.  They tend to get bored easily and a bored curse breaker tends to unravel or break things, boss," he said dryly.  "Sometimes they don't even realize they're doing it, it just happens around them."

"So that's why you sneak out when you get hit in the head," McGee said happily.

"Bite me," Tony told him, glaring a bit.  He looked at Gibbs.  "For the destroying Boston part?  If someone up there had her, then that's his thing and he was probably going to.  Pity about all the history and all but it was nice he called in officials instead of dealing with it himself."  He got back to work.  "I wonder if he's sick," he finally muttered.  "Nice, patient, and only threatening Alex?"  He shook his head.  He had to be sick.  Otherwise they'd be hearing reports of an earthquake or something that had taken out most of the Boston area on the news.

Gibbs drank the last of his coffee and got back to work.  He had no idea Alex was worse than a platoon of Marines on their first leave during Basic Training all by himself.  He'd have to remember that in case it came up during an assault.

***

Harry took the letter from the Ministry owl, giving it a treat before it flew off.  He opened it then looked at Alex.  "You've went up again."

He snatched it to read over, then giggled and handed it to Draco.  "I like being that scary."

Draco read it out loud.  "In recognition for keeping British and American diplomacy uncomplicated and ignoring the natural urges of your career, we, the Ministry of the British Empire, do hereby award you the third order of Merlin."  He looked at his mate.  "Excuse me?"

"I was a second order guy," he said then he shrugged a bit.  "But that was very nice of them."  He grinned.

"Dear, run, before I paddle you," Draco said.  Alex just grinned. "I mean it."  Alex got up and ran off to the stables, Draco taking a deep breath and a last sip of his tea before standing up.  "Excuse me but I think my mate is slightly insane again.  I need to do something about that."  He walked outside, going to hunt him down and beat his ass until he begged, then screw it until he pleaded.  That should help at the very least.  Because he knew he wasn't going to be able to cure him.

Bill looked at the letter, then nodded. "Yup, signed by the Minister for Magic and all that.  It's official.  That's even better than mine for not destroying the school when I came back to handle something a few years back."  He put it down and went back to eating.

"Don't other people have to do major things to get those?" Harry asked.

"For us, not destroying the hospital *is* major," Bill assured him.  "It shows how much control he has over his powers."  He ate another bite.  "We should celebrate tonight."

"They're probably having sex to celebrate it already," Ron said dryly, calling the others over the Banes' bond to let them know.  He got a lot of horrified moments of silence but a few did giggle and laugh at that.   The rest, well, they'd have a better night after the hangover tomorrow.  They knew what Alex was like before they let him into the group.

***

Abby walked up to where Tony and Gibbs were working on the current case, leaning against Tony's arm.  "I heard from Harry."  He grinned at her.  "Alex got given the third order of Merlin for not destroying the hospital when they found Draco's mom."  He slowly started to shake his head.  She nodded.  "Harry said that other people have to do major things to get those."

"It's like our Congressional Medals of Honor," he told her.  "He got one for not destroying a hospital?"

"Ron told him for cursebreakers that was momentous, especially when they had to wait too."  She grinned.  "So you'll have something new to talk about with your dad when you go over for my wedding in six weeks."

"Six weeks?" Tony asked.  "You finally set the date and you're only giving yourself six weeks?"

"I have the dress I want," she pouted.  "Harry said the house elves could make everything else."  She smiled.  "Besides, why wait?"

"Boss, they set the date," Tony called.  Gibbs looked back at them.  "She came up to share other news too.  She was apparently going to wait until the very last moment to tell all of us."

"When, Abby?"

"Six weeks," she said happily.  "Oh, I'm not moving departments.  Harry said it'd be fine."  She beamed at the director when he looked at her.  "I'm getting married soon."

"You're not switching departments?"

"To be honest, Harry's never home anyway.  He said he'd come live with us."

"Us?" Tony asked, making her blush.  "Are we, perhaps, bollixing up our fertility potions like Dawn did?"

"No!" she said, swatting him.  "I'm very good at my contraceptives but some year there will be a little Harry and Abby.  They'll be cute, little, pale, goth kids.  Who probably play his daddy's sport but I'll live with that and add extra sunscreen."

Tony gave her a hug.  "Are you registered anywhere yet?"

She beamed, nodding.  "The nice area in New York has one."  She kissed him on the cheek then hugged Gibbs too.  "Mom and Dad are coming or else you could give me away."  She skipped off.

Tony sighed, looking at Gibbs.  "On the other hand, Alex got a third order medal for not destroying parts of Boston when they went to get Narcissa, notably the hospital."

Gibbs shook his head. "Something new for you two to talk about I guess."

Tony looked up, communing with his other selves.  Then he nodded.  "Speed's giggling and Eric is not happy about that.  They were having a day off."  He got back to work, holding up a paper.  "Secondary ransom demand.  They had a change of heart and upped the money but changed the car they wanted?"

Gibbs took it to look over, getting back to work.  He'd be happy for Abby once they rescued the poor sailor who had been taken hostage.  Though spanking Alex to keep him out of trouble was starting to look like a good idea.  He'd have to get with the other supervisors to see if they could find a way to corral him long enough to tie him down.  Surely Mac and Horatio knew how to use their wands to capture someone.  Right?  Before Alex drove every single Bane, and associated friends, insane?

Alex's Curse.

The idea started here:

From:"evelynz1

Date:Tue, 07 Aug 2007 01:34:27 -0000

Subject:[imaginings] Re: Question about Curses 3

I say it was a cellular change, not just cosmetic.  One of the crossovers (Stargate) was barely addressed in the series.  It could play a more central part in the future.

[Assuming Wizards usually live to around 200] What if far in the future Xander, Draco, Speed, Tony, etc. are all between 150 and 175 and having one of their yearly get togethers.  One of their more clumsy descendants trying to prove they "can TOO be a cursebreaker!"

accidentally sets off one of their stored artifacts, de-aging the whole group so Xander has to do it all AGAIN.

Would the Stargate now be public knowledge?  Does Xander's group travel through it regularly visiting conclaves of the Wizarding descendants off-world?  Are they in Atlantis?

Learning from the Nox and/or Ascended (did Danny re-Ascend)?  Would the Wizards have claimed an unpopulated world for themselves and are now mostly located off-world where they don't have to hide from the Muggles (transported their ancestral homes, Goblin tunnels, and all)?

Alex sipped his tea, groaning as he shifted in his lounge chair.  "I hate being old."

"You're not that old," Tony, his son, complained.  "You're only sixty-eight, Alex."

"I know."  He grinned.  "Still being weirded out?"

"Very.  My father is younger than I am.  That's not natural and I still have nightmare images of my mother molesting you for my conception."  Speed and Draco came out of the house with more tea and a few vials.  "What's up, my bitches?"

"I'm his bitch, not yours," Draco reminded him handing him a vial.  "Drink.  Severus' ghost said so."  He handed one to his mate too.  "Drink."  He drank his own and watched Alex drink his.

"Not to complain too hard or anything but why?" Tony asked before drinking.

"Harry's little being from his drunken sleeping with Granger," he said with a shudder, his usual response to that thought, "had a vision.  Severus' ghost overheard her and came to tell me I had to make that today.  Before something worse happened."  He slid into his mate's lap, cuddling in.  "Where are the others?"

"Mac and Stella are napping.  Danny and Don are at work," Speed reminded him. "Memory going in your old age, Draco?"

"He's not old.  We're old," Tony reminded him.  "We're eighty-eight, Speed.  We're tragically old and I can't even pick up hot chicks anymore."

"I can make a wonderful version of viagra for you," Draco offered smugly.  "Had to for Potter after that injury you know.  Four months of it so he could please his wife."

"I know, somehow it got into the press," Speed said dryly.

"I can so be a cursebreaker when I'm bigger!  I'll be the bestest ever!  Even better than Grandpa Alex!" a tiny, child's voice screamed.  "You don't wanna know what I'll do to you when I start finding nasty stuff!"

Alex flicked his wand at his grandson, glaring at him once he had yelped.  "Do not threaten other members of the family, grandson.  You can be a cursebreaker if you show the skills.  You may even beat me.  If you threaten your sister again however I will be beating you."  He pouted but pointed at her.  "Emily, shut up.  Quit picking on your brother.  It's annoying us.  Am I clear?"  She pouted but nodded.  "Thank you.  Go terrorize the house elves or something please."  They ran in to do that.  He looked at his mate.  "Why did we have kids?"

"You never kept it in your pants and Grandma Des decided there had to be true heirs raised as a Dumass," he said blandly.  "Or don't you remember being so proud of your son because he first manifested with an vase holding an incubus in his mouth?"

"I do.  Then I remember Draconia being a holy terror to the boys the next year," he sighed, shaking his head.  "At least they're all doing something good for society, even if their kids do need babysat now and then."  He took another sip of his tea, finishing it.  He put the cup down on the ground and watched the kids play.  "Speed, where's your heathen grandchild?"

"Library, Alex.  Where he should be.  With Daddy Eric."  He grinned at Tony.  "You know, we can do that spell for someone so you have kids."

"I have the one.  That's more than enough.  She was horrifying enough that McGee and Gibbs got blown up during the birth, I don't need more.  We might lose Abby next."  He finished his tea and put the cup down.  A house elf snatched them to clean.  "Thanks."  He went back to watching the kids run around and play on the huge lawn between the castle and the portal out.  "Why are we all babysitting?"

"It takes all of us to control the horde," Draco said grimly.  "They seem to get worse with each generation."

"They do get worse with each generation.  Draconia's daughter is so much like her it's not funny," Alex reminded him.  "Talk about hellions."

Tony snickered.  "Could be worse.  She could've manifested as a consort veela too, guys."

"True, that would've made it worse," Draco agreed.  He loved their daughter together but she was as big of a slut as her other father was and nearly as smart as them combined.  Even Severus called her too smart for her own good.  Even Granger had, and that said something.  One of the kids skipped up to them with something.  "What's that?"  He took the small thing, looking at it then handing it on.

"It rolled out of the floo," he said happily, skipping off to beat Emily up again.  She was younger and playing with them, supposedly babysitting but the adults had to help her.

Alex stared at it then pulled his wand.  "Shit!"  He cast a shield around it about the same time it went off.  And the world they knew ended with the sound of a farting noise and a flash of light.

The kids all screamed and ran off to find another adult.  They knew that magical explosions were bad.  Very bad.  Grandpa Alex was knocked out.  So was Grandpa Draco.  One of the girls walked over, tugging on Draco's hand.  "Grandma Draco?" she asked, looking worried.  "Grandma Draco!" she said more loudly.  "Auntie!" she bellowed, more than loudly enough to wake anyone up.  Eric came hobbling out.  "Something happened to Grandma Draco!" she said, stomping a foot.  "Fix it, he won't be happy!  It messed up his hair!"

"Can you use the floo?"  She nodded, beaming at him.  "Go right to Dumass Glen.  Right now.  Get one of the aunts."  She ran off to do that.  It was still a long hike to the floo port but by the time someone got there they might be awake.  He looked around, finding the source of the problem.  He grabbed Speed's arm, tapping into his Bane marking to get them some further help.

Alex moaned, shifting some.  "What the fuck?" he muttered.

"Stay still, Alex.  We've got you," Eric soothed.  "Just relax and stay still for a few more minutes."  One of the Weasley twins came running first.  "Get that thing, it's probably what did this."

"Containment, blue cabinet, office," Alex muttered.  He was very tired and very sore for some reason.  "Use front opening."

"Sure, Alex."  Eric went to get him one and let him examine it.  "What the bloody hell are you?" he asked it, not looking at his friends and semi-family.  He created a small, temporary floo fire next to where they were.  "Ron Weasley!" he said once he had thrown in the emergency floo powder.  Ron's head spun up.  "Get back to the castle.  This thing is what did that to Alex and them," he said, nodding behind him.

Ron looked then his eyes went wide and his mouth opened.  "Fuck me," he breathed.  "Be right there."  He hung up and came out of his current dig with his brother.  "Bill!  We've got to get to the castle!"

"We can't!" he shouted back.

"Fred's got an artifact that turned them back into teenagers!"  Bill glared at him.  "Now!  Right the hell now!"

"Coming."  They sent themselves back with the camp moving spell, landing on the grass.  Ron took the box from Eric's hands, opening the top then the front door to it, moving the shield out of the way.  "All right, slide it in here, Fred."  He did that and Ron got it sealed again.  "There we go.  Bill, get someone."

"Eric called the other Banes," Fred told him.  "Greg said he's on his way too."  He looked at them then at Ron.  "I have no idea what that is."

"Came from floo," Draco muttered, peering at him then blinking very hard.  "Why are you fuzzy?"

"Nap, Draco.  It's going to be a long morning," Ron ordered.  Draco nodded and went back to sleep.  "Fred, get Horatio and whoever's not here back."

"Danny and Don?" Alex asked.  "Ministry?"

"On their way, Alex," Ron promised, patting him on the head.  "Just relax for now.  I promise it'll be okay."  Alex nodded, relaxing again.

Tony fully woke up first while they were waiting for more help to arrive.  He looked at his hands then at his chest.  Then at Alex and Draco.  "What happened?" he asked, trying to stay calm.  "The last thing I knew Alex was trying to shield the thing the kid had found coming out of the floo."

"It did it," Ron told him.  "Relax, Tony."

"I can't.  What sort of magic is this?"

"Demonic and white light magic," Ron said grimly.

"Grandmother!" Tony shouted, bringing Alex's mother phasing in.  "What the hell happened?" he demanded, well kinda whined but he was young again.  He wanted to know why.

She looked then shrugged.  "I have no clue."  Ron pointed at the box Bill was working with.  She came over to look.  "That's forbidden.  It was stolen from a demon's catacomb last month.  Master!" she bellowed.  He appeared and looked then muttered and came over to look at the box.  "D'Hoffryn, wasn't that the stolen thing?"

"It was," he agreed, looking at the box.  "It's growing inside here too.  It'll discharge again soon."  She laid a hand on his arm, glancing at Eric then back at him.  He nodded.  "We'll be back in a few minutes.  Let us drain this."  They disappeared to talk about this together.  It was very unfair that lovers had been deaged without mates.

Horatio came jogging out of the floo first, grabbing onto the pony that liked to run around to get a ride back to the castle.  It was a good half a mile hike without it.  He got off and knelt beside Speed first.  "Speed?  Can you hear me?"

"Bad," Speed muttered, pushing at his head.  "Not morning."

"Yes it is.  I need you to wake up for me, Speed, you're hurt."  Stella came out.  "Run a checking spell over them.  You're better at healing charms than I am."  She nodded, doing that for each of them.  "Well?" he asked when he caught her doing a second one.

"Draco's just barely eleven by his.  Alex is nearly eleven.  Tony and Speed both come up as ten.  Danny?"

"We haven't heard from him yet," Ron admitted.  "He was at the Ministry."

"I'll go.  Ron, moving spell?"

He cast it for her and sent her off.  He went to help Bill.  "Now what?"

"Now....  I have no idea," Bill admitted.  "I was unconscious the last time one of those went off."  He looked at his little brother.  "Get dad.  He'll have to do something I'm sure."  Ron nodded, stepping over to the emergency floo to get him.  He came over to check the others over.  Cursebreakers often had to know healing spells.  Not like you could heal a broken bone in a tomb by wishing up a mediwitch.

Speed finally blinked, fully awake, up at his lover.  "Kiss?"

"I...  Speed, you're ten.  I'm a bit creeped out at the moment," Horatio said bluntly.

"I'm what?"  He got help sitting up, looking at the others around them.  "Draco!" he snapped.  He woke up with a start then grabbed his head.  "What was that potion for?"

"Severus said it was to fight off some spell's effects.  I thought it was going to be some artifact or another going off."

"Well it wasn't," Horatio told him, creating a glowing mirror in the air in front of him.  Draco looked then groaned and started to swear in another language.  "Thank you for taking that out of English."  He looked at the kids.  "Inside, get the house elves to make cookies!"  The remaining ones fled.

Alex raised a hand.  "It came through the floo.  Is there another bad guy?" he asked weakly.

"There had damn well better not be," Ron said grimly.  Finally his father showed up.  "Dad, big problems."  He let him see.  Arthur Weasley's eyes went wide like his son's had.  "Something came through the floo.  Something that had been stolen from a demon's catacombs.  It deaged them back to ten and eleven."  His father laughed.  "Dad, not funny!"

"I'm sorry, just imagining the Sorting Hat's response to seeing him a third time, son."  He shook his head.  "Is anyone here?"

"Yeah, I sent Stella to look."

"That's fine.  I'll make sure they're brought back.  I'll have Tonks bring them if she's not already on her way.  The device?"

"Alex's mom came when Tony screamed.  She took it to her boss."

"That's fine.  She's in vengeance.  She'd know."  He sighed.  "We'll talk tomorrow, see what has to be done.  After someone does some research.  I'll let a few people know."  Ron nodded so he disappeared, breaking out into loud laughs when he was finally alone.  His secretary gave him an odd look.  "An artifact just came rolling out of the floo at Dumass Castle.  They're all around eleven at the moment."

"So they'll be destroying Hogwarts?"

He shook his head.  "We'll work it out so they don't have to go.  Maybe home schooling this time."  He called Philip on the floo to make sure he had heard.  The Bane marking could be blocked out if you were working.  "Philip, did you get a distress call?"

He grimaced and nodded.  "I sent the mediwitch to them.  She should be there in the next two or three minutes.  What happened?"

"They're all about eleven."

"They're not coming here.  The school would never survive."  He hung up, going to tell the staff who knew the Dumass clan what had happened.  Again in one case.  Alex must be seething at the moment.

***

Later that night, after many mediwitch exams for all of them, Alex heard his mother complaining.  "Mom?" he called quietly.  She showed up, giving him a patient look.  That same mom look he got when he used to ask billions of questions when he was a child the first time.  "What's going on?"

"We're still trying to see if it's reversible, son."

He gave her an odd look.  "Why wouldn't it be?  If it's demonic one of the Highers can reverse it."

"They modified it."  She left again, heading back to where the plan was taking place.  The orb was going to explode soon and they had to make sure they had everyone involved wrapped in it.  "They're going to shout at us."

"We can disappear," D'Hoffryn said grimly.  "Though I did hear your son wondering if there was another evil that was going to be showing up soon."

"Not that I'm aware of," she admitted.  She reached out, making sure she had the full network this time.  Even those that had spouses that weren't connected.  Eric especially.  Speedle would hunt her down and kill her if he was kept the same age if Horatio wasn't.  She made sure to wrap his extra tight around the spool they were creating because he was muggle.  Then the orb was released and the power wrapped around the spool.  Most of them passed out.  A few of them screamed first.  It was not making for a happy night for some people but their mornings would be better.  She exposed Eric's thread more fully, making sure he got hit.  Her poor babies needed him.  Even Tony did.  She checked Mac and Stella but they had been included.  Even if Mac didn't look like he was changing.

***

Danny groaned, waking up at the thrashing going on next to him.  He looked at his lovers then shook his head.  "What now?" he whined.  He saw Mac wasn't changing and came over to look at him.  He could feel the same traces of unclean, yet pure power around him.  "Stella?" he said, nudging her awake.  "Something's wrong with Mac.  The same spell hit you both but he's not changing."

She looked down at her flat clothes.  "I'm prepubescent?" she demanded, sitting up.  "I hated this age!"  She looked at Mac, stroking over his cheek.  "He's got that stupid illusion on to cover the explosion's scars," she said quietly.

Danny reached for it but Mac batted at his hands.  "Let me, Mac.  The same spell hit you."  He finally got it undone and looked at the youthened Mac Taylor.  All the burn scars were gone.  Almost all his scars were gone.  He straddled Mac's chest, looking down at him.  "Hey.  Wakey-wakey."

Mac blinked at him.  "What?  You know I can't touch you until you're legal again."

"Not an issue for either of us, Mac," she said grimly.  She held out her top.  "I'm flat.  I didn't get boobs until I was twelve."

Danny looked around.  "Where's Don?"

"He got called back for that meeting at the Ministry.  Maybe he stayed to do that last piece of paperwork that always seems to land on his desk," Mac said quietly.  He stroked over Danny's cheek.  "You're very young."

Danny grabbed Stella's hand mirror, handing it to him.  "So're you, Mac.  Quit fussing.  I've gotta go find Flack."  He headed out, catching the same pony back to the floo port.  She was used to it and enjoyed it most of the time.  Not like he was extremely heavy now either.  He came rolling out at the Ministry, holding up a hand.  "I'm Messer.  Flack's still here and we think the spell hit more of the group."  He walked past the gaping guard, heading up to where Don had his office in Muggle Affairs.  He had taken over Arthur's old job when Arthur became the Minister for Magic and Don had retired from the NYPD because he looked too young for his age.  Wizards aged slower and it had been causing some odd looks in his direction.  Being fifty and looking twenty-eight or nine wasn't helping him any.  He walked into Don's office, finding him collapsed on his desk.  "Hey," he said gently, waking his husband up.  Don blinked at him.  "Hey.  Wake up."  Don blinked again.  "Come on, time to head home, Don.  You got hit too."

"Can't."

"Can.  Even Mac got hit.  He's cute."

Don grinned.  "Yay us.  We're cute again."  He stood up and grimaced at the not-fitting clothes, doing a fitting charm.  He did one on Danny too since his pants were hanging around his hips and barely being held up with a belt.  "Better."  He walked out with him, heading for the castle.  Everyone else was mostly gathered there.  Greg's wife Emilla was still at home.  "We have to call Em."  He, Emilia, Tipsy, and Stella were all shopping buddies.

"Did earlier," Danny promised.

"If it's going again we should call."

"I'll see if we can," Danny promised, leading him to the floo port home, sending them there.  They came out in the castle, finding Greg already screaming in misery.  "Hey!" he shouted.  "Call the wife!"  He ran to the floo to do that instead of complaining about how much he hated being this age the first time.  He took Don up to bed, pointing.  "See, cuteness."

"Awww, you're both adorable," Don said, coming over to snuggle between their lovers.

"I look bad," Stella complained.  "Soon I'll have zits too."

"We have stuff for that," Danny promised, climbing in behind Mac to hold him.  "You okay?"

"Anyone else?" he asked quietly.

"Greg.  He's calling Em now."  He gave him a squeeze.  "We'll deal in the morning, Mac.  For now, let's rest and figure out what the hell we're doing with this new stuff.  If I'm eleven I had smutty thoughts but no hard-on at this age."  Stella laughed.  "It'll be another year at least before she has boobs."

"We can cuddle and stuff," Don promised.  He snuggled into Stella's flat chest.  "That's going to take some getting used to.  You're not as comfy of a pillow."  He thought of something and changed form to his animagus Weimaraner form, then back.  "Huh, it still happens the same way."

"We can check that out in the morning," Mac reminded him.  He snuggled into Don's back, letting Danny comfort him.  "I still have all my memories."

"Alex said he did the last time too," Danny soothed.  He knew Mac was worried about forgetting his former wife Claire, but he knew it wasn't going to happen.  "Let's rest.  There's going to be some screaming tomorrow."

"Hmm.  We'll have to figure out if we'll have to worry about first times and stuff," Stella agreed.  "And who's the legal adult to shield us all.  I doubt we'll be recognized."

"We could go back to the lab," Mac said quietly.

She smiled.  "Yeah, we can go back to the lab, Mac."  She stroked over his hair.  "We'll just be our kids or grandkids or something."  He smiled and nodded, relaxing and falling asleep being held.  She smiled at Danny.  "Think Horatio got hit?"

"Probably.  If you two got hit to stay with me, why wouldn't he and Eric?"

"Good point."  She snuggled in, getting comfortable as Don's pillow, like usual.  "Sleep.  It's going to be a long morning."

"Hmm," Danny agreed, letting himself drift off too.  There wasn't any danger to them at the moment.  Tomorrow...  Well, tomorrow he'd see.

***

Eric nudged Speed awake, looking at him.  "What happened?"

"Not a clue," Speed said, sounding sleepy.  He grinned, pulling him down to kiss him.  "Missed not being able to do that all night."  He looked at Horatio then grinned, nudging him awake.  "Hey, check a mirror."

Horatio got up and looked, staring at himself.  "I'm...."

"Not bald," Eric teased.

"Not funny," Horatio said, shooting a low powered scowl at him.  He went back to checking himself out.  He was adorable at this age.  His hair was a bit longer, and it was still thick and shaggy at the moment.  He ran his hand through it, noticing it was stronger.  Nothing was breaking or shedding.  He looked at his backside, nodding.  His butt had stayed.  He looked at his lovers, smiling since they were kissing.  "I missed doing that too."  Speed pulled him down and kissed him, making him moan.  "Hmm.  Soon, Speed.  We're still too young for that stuff.  We'll work our way back up to it."

"Didn't Catherine Willows say something about first times and power surges once when she was complaining about her daughter?" Eric asked.

Speed nodded.  "Yeah, first times and seriously emotional times can create huge power surges.  Alex had his on an island and nearly sank it from what I heard."  They both stared at him.  He nodded.  "There's a reason we used to have breaking in rituals way back when."  He pulled them both down to kiss again.  "Tomorrow's going to be a wreck."

"You're right, we should sleep," Eric agreed, snuggling in again.

Horatio smiled.  "This means we can go back to the lab, boys."

They both smiled at him.  "We'll see," Speed promised.  "Remember, we're not old enough yet, Horatio."  He yanked him back closer so he could be cuddled.  "Wonder if Tony's all right."  He sent a thought at him, getting back a happy, smutty dream.  "Yup, he's a teenager.  Heard plenty of those the first time around."  He flipped onto his side, holding Eric and letting Horatio hold them both, their preferred sleeping position.  It was good for them.  This would hopefully be good for them too.

***

Alex looked around the ballroom, looking at all his friends and family.   "Damn," he said finally, cracking a few up.  "Where's Horatio?"

"Playing with his hair," Speed said with a smirk.  "It's back."

"I'm sure you'll have fun with it," Draco teased.

"Grandma Draco, can I have the butter?" one of the grandkids asked.

Draco looked down at her.  "How many times have I told you not to call me that?"

"Many, so can I please have the butter now?  Before my muffin's too cold and it won't spread?"  She beamed at him.

Alex floated it down, shaking his head.  "Draco, the more you protest the more she'll do it," he reminded him.  Horatio and Mac came in together.  "Are we missing anyone?"

"We'll have to talk to Armwrench later," Ron said, sipping his tea.  He wasn't particularly fond of being eleven again.  Bill either by his looks.  Harry either but Abby was happy enough about it at the moment so he wouldn't be complaining.  He looked down at his boss and teacher.  "Any idea how it caught the rest of us?"

"It went through the Bane marking," Greg said, looking tired.  "I asked Alex's mother.  By the way, there's no new Voldemort coming up that she knows of.  Not for at least another ten years."

"Then why do this to us?" Alex demanded.

"Not a clue," Greg admitted.  "It didn't start with their kind, they simply managed the problem and gave Harry's daughter the vision when someone else foresaw it."

"No clue who sent it yet," Mac told him.  "Can we get the floo records?"

"I told Dad yesterday, I'm sure he's looking into it," Ron told him.  He looked at Alex again.  "Well, you got further along this time."

Alex glared at him.  "Not cute, and remember I'm still a champion level fencer.  I was the first time, Ron."

"Awww.  Draco, isn't him being grumpy your problem?"

"We're too young to have sex yet, Weasley.  What do you suggest I do?" he asked archly, buttering his own muffin.  "Hire him a pedophile?"

"Eww," Speed said firmly.  "There's real kids in here, guys."  They all dropped that subject.  "Now what, people?"  They all shrugged and dug in.  "Okay, two points occurred to me.  None of us are adults and some of us have to do adult type stuff, like banking stuff."  They all groaned.  "Any ideas?"

Greg nodded while he sipped some juice.  "There's adults around.  We can write letters authorizing them because we're out of the country at the moment on a case or something."  They all nodded at that.  "I'm wondering how in the hell I'm supposed to teach kids my age like this."

"Oh, that's the second point," Speed assured him.  "Philip, since you're our age too.  School?" he asked with a grin.

Philip stared at him until the flashbacks to his own school started.  "All of us at once would bring down Hogwarts," he assured him, his Irish accent coming out nicely at the moment.  "It nearly did in our years.  It nearly did when Alex had ta go back that once.  It will fall in this time."

"No way in hell the Sorting Hat would deal with me anyway," Alex said dryly.  "It refused the last time."

"We could go into our last house of record," Greg told him.

"That would separate Draco and I," Alex pointed out.

"Not if you both went into Hufflepuff," Philip said with a grin.

"Yes but then we'd have to retrain that house too," Draco said grimly.  "It was bad enough I had to do that for a full year our last year due to the war."  He ate a bite of muffin and handed his husband the teapot when he drained his cup, getting a smile.  He looked around.  "Weasley, get your father here.  We might be able to get a dispensation or something."

"We could go back and play quidditch," Harry offered.

Alex looked at him then smirked.  "We could set up a supposed school here and do it against all four of Hogwarts' teams too, Harry."  Harry gaped.  He shrugged. "It's an idea to get around that if we can't get dispensations."

"Have more tea, dear.  That'd be a horrible idea."  Draco looked around.  "Though I doubt many of us won't end up in the library later."

Ron looked down.  "Dad said he'd be here about ten, give us all time to wake up, look over our new bodies, that stuff."  He went back to eating.  "Anyone who's not here that might've been caught if it went over the marking?"

"Mother," Draco said.  "I called her, she's not deaged."

"A few spouses," Tipsy told them.  "It's strange, we have a grandchild our age at the moment.  We were going to throw a huge party at the platform for their going away."

"Hmm, so we can snog in private," Fred Weasley said grimly.  "Guess that's out."

"Probably for at least a year, love," Tipsy sighed, nodding a bit.  "Blair, anything on your end?"  He shook his head.  "You sure?"

"Yup.  With Jim gone all I was doing was teaching anyway."  He shrugged and drank some of his juice.  "Has anyone noticed they made us a school breakfast?"  Ron nodded and so did Harry.  "Guess the house elves are joking too."  He took another drink and dug into his eggs again.

"This is going to suck," Alex said grimly.  "Now I've go to decide what I'm doing *this* life.  Do I want to keep cursebreaking or not?"

Don looked at him.  "Well, I can let you have that map if you want," he offered with a grin.

"Thanks, Don.  Love you too.  We'll go together."  Don nodded and beamed.  "If we can.  Anyone call Gringotts?"

"I did," Bill said.  "Gruinth took one look at me, burst out laughing, and said at least it wasn't you.  Before he hung up I told him it was you too.  I think that's why he hung up."

"Ah," Alex said, nodding slightly.  "Sounds like I get to go to Gringotts later.  Mass shopping trip, people?"  They all nodded, none of their clothes fit.

"This means I can slide back into cute jeans," Dawn said happily.

Ron looked at her.  "I'm still jealous," he said dryly.  "I will still beat anyone who touches your bum, Dawn Weasley."

"Yes, dear," she sighed.  Harry and Abby both snickered.  "Come on, stick up for me," she pleaded.

"I can probably get back into cute goth gear too," Abby told her.

"Oohh, I haven't told Buffy," Dawn said, going to floo Wesley, Luna, and Ethan's house to find her vampire sister.  She had been hanging there this summer to help Ethan with a problem.  She waved at Luna when she answered the floo.  Her best friend didn't even blink.  She was cool that way.  "Hola."

Luna finally shook herself.  "Oh, shit," she said, staring at her.  "You're...."  Dawn nodded once.  "Ginny!"  Ginny came to the floo.  "Look what happened."

"I can see that," Ginny said, looking eternally young herself.  She was a valkyrie, she was always going to look like she was eighteen.  "Still have all your memories?"

"Yup, sure do.  But it got almost all the Banes since it didn't get Luna."

"Thank Merlin," Luna muttered.  "I'd hate to be that age again.  I was awkward."  She looked behind her. "Buffy, it's Dawn."  She got out of the way.

Buffy's head showed up in the fire.  "Dawn," she said after a moment.  "How in God's name?"

"There was an artifact rolled through the floo and it went off with the original spell.  Somehow it managed to run through the Bane markings a few hours later.  Got most of us."

Buffy sighed then nodded.  "So, school again?"

"Hell no," she said firmly.  "Not if I can help it, sister dear.  You?"

"I don't think Hogwarts would take me."  She smiled.  "Now what?"

"We're figuring that out today but we get to go shopping."

"I'll take you later if you want," she offered with a smile.

"Okay.  Abby too?"

"Sure, we can take Abby and Harry too."  She waved and turned off the floo, going to Luna's basement so she could swear at the Powers That Be... Getting Their Asses Kicked Soon If She Had Her Way.  This deaging thing was worse than her being the undead yo-yo girl she had been back in Sunnydale.

***

Later that afternoon, Philip stomped in from the school board's meeting, looking unhappy.  "They want you to come back," he announced.  "They want me to go back through too.  I pointed out that I still have all my memories, including of some blackmail I've had stored for a while.  They agreed we can set up a pseudo-academy here at the castle."  Alex and Draco both gave him odd looks for that.  "Or that we could study on our own as long as the ministry doesn't care."

Ron waved the paper in his hands.  "Not an issue.  Dad already gave us permission."  He put it down in front of where Philip flopped down.  "He also said we would not be considered underage wizards and witches."  Everyone beamed at that.  "He said we'd probably have to do something about the artifacts around here but we wouldn't be able to officially work until we were of legal age again.  For those in other countries he's pressing them to do the same thing, citing malicious intent on having us deaged."  He looked at Philip again.  "You're still upset, what else?"

"We have three very special foreign students," Philip said, looking at Alex.  "They're muggle born and very highly technical in nature."

"Why can't they go to Canada?" Alex asked.

"Because the Canadians wanted to know what project their fathers were working on and we already knew.  Because you got given that book."

Draco sat up straight.  "That Daniel person bred?"

"Twice, both of his grandchildren are coming and the child of another of them from the same project.  The board said they were not happy at Hogwarts.  They'd done the tour with them and they were horrified that we used quills in classes.  That there's no computers, those things.  Only one kid appreciated the books being in book format."

Alex just nodded.  "So you're begging me to make some new apprentices?"

"The sad thing is, two are natural cursebreakers," he admitted.  "The other's not going to leave her twin's side."

"Yay us," Harry said dryly.  "Why can't Gringotts deal with them?"

"Because they'll never survive and we'll be teaching them what they need to know to go into the field directly onto their parents' project, right?" Alex suggested.  Philip nodded.  "This would get them past the need to go to a military academy and all that stuff?"

"They're all science sorts, Alex.  Well, two're humanities sorts but they're all science sorts.  Can we, somehow, work that out?  We'll be reminding each other of stuff anyway since we have to take the NEWTs over.  By the school board's decree," Philip said when Ron opened his mouth.  "By the normal time as well.  Seven years and most of us can do it in four, then we'd be considered old enough to work or whatever."

Xander nodded.  "I can think about it later."  Philip smiled and nodded.  "Any other favors the mother-in-law wanted?"

"More grandkids.  I told her to talk to your aunts."  Ron snickered at that, nodding a bit.  "She said she'd have to do that later on."  He stood up.  "With that happy news, I need more clothes.  Who else still needs to go shopping?"

"Buffy's taking Dawn, Abby, and I later," Harry offered with a small smile.  "You can come with us."

"That'll do.  I still have to hit the bank."  Alex pointed at the wall toward the study.  "We have a bank access here?"

"No, we have a goblin here," Alex said bluntly.  "He came to nag."

Philip nodded, going to get a withdrawal slip from him and make sure he still had access to all his money.  His paychecks were directly deposited and he'd have to have something to live off of while he was in the school.  Then he went to wait on the ladies.  They'd take the longest to get ready to go shopping.  Fitting panties and such probably.

***

Alex looked out as someone came out of the floo port, then down at the man standing in the courtyard.  "You pull me out of this castle on a stretcher and already dead, brother.  Go the fuck away."

"Alex, be reasonable.  You can't hold the castle," he said.  Xander pointed something at him.  "You're going to shoot me, very mature," he said grimly.  Then he shrieked as the thin wires hit him and electricity flowed down them.  He landed on the ground and Alex jumped off the balcony, landing there staring at him.  He tried to speak but Alex only looked down and sneered.

Alex finally let go of the trigger.  "This is my house, Justinius.  I may be ten yet again but I am still the lead heir in this family, no matter what the demons you serve want.  Now, get your ass of my lawn and leave.  You were banished for a reason."  He hit the button to release the spikes and retract the wires.  "Before I have to get a bigger weapon and end the problems you're having for good."

"You...."  Alex pulled his wand.  "Alex, you're ten," he stuttered.

"Scapulous," he cast coldly, making his brother roll away from the cutting hex.  "What did I say about your demon-summoning ass?  You're dirtying the natural power.  Go.  Now."  Justinius fled.  "And tell them they still don't want to fuck with me," he shouted after him.  He calmed himself.  "Sorry you had to hear that," he told Philip and the three girls walking his way.  "My brother is greedy and summons demons.  Should you see him again, scream really loudly."  He put his wand and the taser up, looking at them.  "Welcome to Dumass Castle, girls."

"A bit moody as a teenager were you?" Philip asked with a smile.

"Not at all.  Justinius has been trying to kill me since the day I was born.  He's not succeeding this time either.  He decided I was weak thanks to this spell.  Pity."  He looked at the girls.  "It's not usually like that," he assured the hesitant looking one.  "He only shows up once a decade or when things go wrong.  Did Philip tell you anything?"

"That there was a recent explosion that created a deaging problem," the one that wasn't a twin said, staring at him.  "How old are you really?"

"Well, I was sixty-five when I was deaged this time, and I was deaged to five before then from the age of sixty-two."  They gaped.  He grinned.  "The first time was a curse.  This time it was malicious in nature.  When I find them, you three can have a night off while we stomp on them.  Okay?"  They all nodded and he grinned.  "I'm not the scary one, that's really Danny."

Philip laughed.  "He'll try to spank you for saying that."

"He's the one wandering around muttering about what he wants to do to the person who sent the device," Alex pointed out dryly.  "Come inside, girls."  He led them into his study.  "This castle is my family's ancestral home.  There's another one that most of the aunts live at called Dumass Glen.  The rest of the library is over there."  They all nodded at that.  "While you're here, I'm going to be teaching you things you'll have to know to pass your tests, subjects that will be of interest to you, and things you'll need once you're in the field.  I'm what's known as a cursebreaker."

"Like Bill Weasley in the books?" one of the twins said softly.

"I trained Bill.  He got deaged too," Alex admitted with a small grin.  "Bill's so good because I trained him.  I also trained Ron and Harry and Dawn, Ron's wife, and my husband Draco."  They gaped.  "Longer story and you'll learn it all here."

"Why don't the laptops we brought work at Hogwarts?" one of the twins asked.

"The soul energy in the paintings create a counter ripple and cut out any electricity.  That's why mechanical things, like watches and wind-up alarm clocks, work but nothing else.  There is a way to shield them but it's a pain in the ass, most people can't do it unless they've studied higher theoretical power flow problems, and you'd still have to use quills for assignments.  Even I did when I had to spend a year there to guard the school."  They all nodded at that so he smiled.  "Here, you can use computers.  There's limited electricity but most rooms have it.  It's solar powered."  They all nodded. "I'm still working on how to turn it from magical energy.  We'll see someday soon I'm sure since I now have the time and energy to work on that stuff."  He grinned at Philip then back at the three girls.  "While you're here, we have some people who were doing forensics in their last lives.  One of them is the potions teacher you would've had at Hogwarts, but there's others.  They're going to be teaching you the sciencey stuff.  I'll be teaching you Arithmancy."  That got a confused look.  "Magical math.  I'll also be teaching you field techniques, languages, and what to do when you come across strange things.  Draco and the others will fill in here and there.  Anyone who's here will probably be willing to help you if you're stuck.  Some live here, some were visiting, some showed up when the device's reach went through a bond we all share and got them later that night.  All right?"  They nodded.  "Any questions?"

"Rooms?" one asked.  "I know the school had dorms."

"We have a lot of guest rooms, you three can share some," he told them bluntly.  "We have house elves but you are going to be responsible for the clutter in your own room."  They all nodded. "I know of the project all your relatives work on, ladies.  I gave Daniel something a long time ago that gave him some ideas.  If you have specific research you think could help them, either ask for my help to find what you're looking for or learn how to use the card catalog.  I'll have Dawn work with you guys to set up mirrors back home so you can talk with your father and grandfather."

The non-twin raised her hand slowly.  "That might be kind of hard, sir.  My father's in another galaxy at the moment."

Xander grinned.  "You don't know Dawn yet, dear."  He beamed.  "Now, school uniforms?"  They all shook their heads.  "We have clothes?"  They all nodded.  "Good.  Dawn might pull you guys around to shop now and then.  She was always the fashionable sort.  Also, call me Alex or Xander.  I answer to both.  My actual name is Alex, but I got deaged and had to go by Xander there for about sixteen years.  All right?"  They all nodded.  "Philip, have fun with the newbies tonight."

"I will.  You too."  He left them alone after a smile in reassurance.

Alex winked.  "Now that the stuffy one's gone, you're going to have a lot of fun.  I'm used to training apprentices and I trained Ron and Harry both from the ground up."

"How accurate are the books?" one of the twins asked.

"Until the fifth year.  Dumbledore called a class reunion and most of us showed up.  When we found out what he was making my grandson do, we stepped in.  That's why I spent Draco's senior year guarding Hufflepuff with him."  They all gaped.  He grinned.  "Harry hates those books before you mention them to him.  All right?"  They all nodded.  "Good.  Then let's show you around, introduce you to your ad-hoc professors, those things.  With a bit of luck and all, we can have you out of seven years of education by the time you're sixteen."  They all gaped.  "What can I say, I'm good."  He stood up and walked them out.  "What are your names anyway?"

"I'm MJ and this is TM," the twins said, pointing at each other.  He nodded at that.

"I'm Petunia," the other one said.  "Dad said the other scientists had a naming contest and he lost."

"Petunia what?  Unless you want to be called Pet?" he teased.

She smirked and shook her head.  "Not really."

"Good, because we'd have a Spike flashback," Don said from the library's door.  "What's your middle name?"

"Abigail."

"We have an Abby, she's pretty cool.  You mind that?"   She shook her head.  "Cool.  The other two?"

"The one with the sandy brown, longer hair is MJ and the one with the shorter, dark blonde hair is TM," Alex told him.

"Ladies, I'm Don Flack.  I'm technically married to Danny and madly in love with Stella and Mac.  You'll get used ta us.  I'm former NYPD and a cursebreaker as well.  Alex trained me when he found me late."  He grinned and let them into the library, watching them gasp.  "Alex has been collecting books for a very long time.  This is the primary library."  It was a very impressive sight.  Thirty stories tall inside a ten story castle tower, filled with books, and there were tables and reading nooks all over for them to enjoy the books in.

Xander pointed at the multi-drawer box on legs against one wall.  "That's the card catalog.  You find what you want, put it onto the blue pad, and it'll fly down to you.  When you're done, you put it on the cart and it reshelves itself in about an hour."  He walked them on.  "This is the secondary library," he said once they were through the small hallway lined with shelves of scrolls.  "Draco had this one put on while I was away one weekend."  He grinned.  "Honey?"  Draco and Harry both looked up.  "Harry, I don't call you honey," he said dryly.  "The one beside Mr. Potter is my husband, Draco Malfoy-Dumass."

"Charmed," Abby said, waving and smiling.  "Are all these on history matters, Alex?"

"No!  We have a wide selection of topics.  Everything from artifacts, languages, jewelry, history, sciences, politics, manners, just about everything," he said with a smile.  "Come on."  He led them on, taking them to the other library.  "This is the cursebreaker's library.  This is primarily spells, curses, artifacts.  The charms section is still in the primary library but this one has all the stuff we'd use in the field."  He smiled and led them out the side door.  "There's two ways into the valley or out of the valley.  Well, three if you want to climb over the magic-nullifying rocks that surround us.  There's the floo port you three came through or there's a small area that's set aside for apparations."  He pointed.  "That's what the black rock area is for."  He looked at them.  "As you get better, if you're interested, we'll teach you another way that'll be easier."  They all nodded so he led them back inside.  "Trembly!" he bellowed as they walked up the stairs.  "This is the ballroom, massive dining area, play area when it's raining for the family's kids," he told them.  He opened the hidden door.  "This is the way up to the main living areas."  He led them up the stairs, finding the house elf sitting on the top of them waiting on him.  "This is Trembly."

"You're a house elf," Abby said, bending down to look at him.  "Interesting."

"I is Trembly.  Yous need things, you call Trembly," Trembly told them.  They all nodded.  "Master Alex, sir, where is Trembly putting girl students?"

"I was thinking the blue suite if Harry doesn't want it any more.  He never did decide if he was moving or not."

"Trembly will ask."  He disappeared then came back shaking his head.  "No, Master Alex sir.  Harry Potter say Harry and Abby Potter not moving from blue suite.  Green one?"

"No, there's still that fertility curse in there," he reminded him.  He walked them on, taking them to the upper rooms.  "You're going to get pretty quiet up here," Alex told them, opening a few doors.  He found one he liked and let them inside.  "Here we go.  Trembly, clean this area for them?  Make sure the bathroom works too please?"  Trembly nodded and got some of the house elves up to clean for them.  "There's four rooms so if parents or grandfathers come over you can have them up here with you guys.  That way we don't bug you during your off hours and you don't have to associate if you're feeling like sulky girls and hiding."  They all gave him odd looks.  "I helped raise Dawn, ladies.  I've seen plenty of sulky girl behavior.  Didn't Philip bring your things?"

"They'll be delivered later," TM said.  "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure.  You've got a good view here.  It's safe up here.  It's quiet up here so you can study if you want to do it up here instead of in the library.  You won't be bothered when some of us pounce our mates or things."  They all nodded and smiled a bit.  "Good.  Trembly, when you're done, we'll be in the kitchen."

"Yes Master Alex sir," he said, nodding quickly then going back to dusting.

He nodded and led them down the back stairs.  "This is the other way up there.  It leads directly to the kitchen.  The house elves will go into gleeful fits if you ask them for snacks now and then.  Sweet or not.  We usually have a pretty standard dinner time that we have in here.  Breakfast seems to lag from dawn to just about ten in the morning."  He had a thought and looked out the doorway.  "Has anyone heard from Methos?" he asked.  They all shook their heads.  "Okay."  He opened the door further.  "Girls, this is Stella Bonasera and Mac Taylor, the dark haired pouty one is Tim Speedle, call him Speed. The one making him pout is Tony, he's a long-lost son of the line.  Behind him is probably Ron since all I see is red hair and Ron was a short little guy at this age the last time.  Which means Dawn should be here too.  Dawnie?"

She came out from behind Tony, giving him a look.  "Find some way for them to be able to talk to their relatives please?  Some sort of communication device."  She nodded, leading the girls off.  "Their stuff is being sent.  Remember you can't shop me poor this life either but make sure they've got practical gear.  If we have to, we'll hit Diagon tonight."  He looked t the others.  "That was TM, MJ, and Abby.  She's the non-twin."  They all grinned at that.  "Mac, they're above your rooms but they can't hear anything up there.  Unless you have the window open and make Danny scream again."  He walked off, going back to his study.  "Classes start tomorrow at ten, ladies," he called.  "See you at dinner. Dawn, help them explore if you want."  He closed his study door and got back to his journal.  He had some serious thoughts to work out and he needed the quiet time.  Teaching them wasn't going to take that much energy really.

***

Dawn finished setting the spells on the two mirrors, smiling at them.  "Okay.  Until you learn the spells and can do them flawlessly I'll stay nearby so you can chat, all right?"  They all nodded.  "Girls, take yours over to the other wall so you can sit there on the loveseat.  Abby, go ahead and pull a chair over since yours is going to take more energy."

Abby found a chair and pulled it over, settling in while Dawn made the twin's mirror work.  Then she came back and activated this one, making her beam and her father shriek.  "Hi, Dad."  She smiled and waved.  "I'm at Dumass Castle."

"Is that the name of the school?" he asked.

Dawn leaned in.  "Hogwarts is very technologically behind.  Alex Dumass is a cursebreaker and can teach her everything she needs to be taught, including how to survive in the field.  Among all of us we have all the subjects covered."  She smiled.  "By the way, I'm Dawn Weasley."  He gaped.  "Alex is like my big brother and he taught me how to be a cursebreaker too.  Bill Weasley too.  He's my big brother-in-law."  She smiled at Abby then at him.  "This way she'll have a firmer grounding in science than potions, sir."

"I see."  He looked at his daughter.  "Where are you?"

"Scotland.  Tell Uncle Carson I'm in his people's land," she said happily.

"I can do that."  He looked his daughter over.  "No uniforms?"

Dawn snorted.  "Alex isn't like that.  Practical clothing yes, uniforms no."  She went over to the twin's mirror to help them since someone was complaining.  "Oh, shut up!" she finally shouted.  They quit.  "Dude, we already knew.  Daniel knows Alex.  He and some big, dark guy with a gold tattoo came over once to look at some of the stuff Alex does.  That's why he's mentoring and teaching the twins.  Now, shoo.  Get their granddad.  Gods, how stupid are you?" she said when he didn't move.  She pulled her wand and shot a hex over the mirror, making him scream in pain.  "Now, duffus!"

He ran off and another man appeared, looking confused. "Uncle Jack!" TM squealed.  "Hi."

"School?" he asked.

Dawn shook her head.  "Dumass Castle.  Hogwarts doesn't have electricity or what you'd consider regular science classes."

"I remember Alex Dumass."

"He got deaged again," she said dryly, grinning at him.  "This is how I set it up so the girls could call their grandfather.  He can move whatever mirror I put it on over there if he wants.  That way no shrieking little girl can whine like the one I sent off just now."

Jack smirked.  "I like you already."

"Too bad I'm still married," she quipped back. "Ron would be very upset with me."

Jack laughed. "Not that much, kiddo.  So, ladies, are we doing all right?"

"The library here is *massive*, Uncle Jack," MJ told him happily.  "There's three of them!  They can teach us everything we need to know and we might even be done early.  Plus they can teach us field stuff."

Dawn nodded.  "They're all going to be getting the basic cursebreaking lessons.  Which would include what you do in an attack, what you do in the field, handling weapons, those things."  She smiled at the man she barely recognized.  "Doctor Daniel."

"Dawn?" he asked.  "What happened?  You get younger each time I see you."

"Some stupid person sent an ancient demonic device through the floo and it went off.  We're all around your grandkids' ages but we have all our memories."  She waved.  "They're here with us.  We can teach them what they need to know with more style, and less time."

"That's fine.  I knew Hogwarts wasn't going to be a great fit since they couldn't use computers and things.  Can they there?"  She nodded.  "Can you guys get regular mail?"

She considered it then nodded. "Through the manor house probably."

"Then we'll start doing that as well."  He smiled.  "Phones?"

"Do work.  I've got mine and I made sure it works up here."  She beamed at him.  "It's a holdover from when half of us were cops.  Now, I don't want you to worry.  The girls are getting the field lessons I got with the boys.  They're going to get a well-rounded education in not only our stuff but your stuff too.  Remember, a bunch of us were into forensics and things so they'll get divination, potions, and chemistry."  That got a smile and a nod.  "I'll be teaching them how to use this mirror on this end pretty soon so I won't have to hang around while you guys talk.  Today was just to let you know they got here, their stuff is coming, and it's all good so far."  She walked back to the other mirror, finding Abby pouting so she gave her a hug.  "It's all right."

"We have divinations?" she asked.  "I heard you.  So did Dad.  He's throwing a bit of a hissy."

"I can see that.  He does it nearly as well as my sister does."  She grinned.  "Yes, traditionally you're taught it as an elective unless you have the gift.  If none of them have the gift we'll probably just touch on it and move on.  After all, Runes and Arithmancy is much easier at times, especially when you've got the sort of background she already has."

"Arithmancy?" her father demanded.

"Magical math.  Starts after algebra and goes theoretical.   Alex would probably teach that himself since he's so good at getting theoretical things going."

Alex walked in and looked at the worried father.  "She'll be fine.  She'll get a more full education than she would have gotten at Hogwarts.  Anytime any of the relatives, real or claimed, are close enough to drop by you can.   We're in Scotland.  As long as you're near the landmass we can come get you.  We'll let her call you about every week, as often as she wants."

"How are you doing the traditional sciences?" he demanded, arms crossed over his chest.  "I was fully against this idea."

"Witches who don't get trained in how to use it, at least enough to relieve the innate buildup of magic end up getting a lot sicker and dying sooner, either of something like cancer or of suicide," Alex said more quietly.  "As for science, there's eight, nine, something like that, people who used to do forensics running around here.  I think they can pretty well cover any of the science fields plus the ones she'll have to show proficiency in, like Potions.  Which is really chemistry with strange ingredients," he said with a grin.  "Before you say it, I've trained a lot of cursebreakers over the years.  Family and not family.  They'll be protected like they're my little sisters."

"You're their age," he complained.

"This time last week I was sixty-eight," he said bluntly.  The father gaped.  He nodded. "And this is the second time I've had to go through this, so quit stressing.  I remember everything from both prior lives.  I just seem to attract people who want me to be young and pretty.  My husband doesn't mind in the least."  The father nodded at that so he grinned.  "Whenever you're local, relatively local, call and we'll pick you up for a long visit.  That's not an issue.  I have plenty of guest rooms and they can have breaks.  The same as they can have holiday breaks if we can arrange it.  Oh, she'll probably be done by the time she's sixteen and I can make sure it's fully accredited so she can go to the college of her choice afterward if she doesn't want to hop in and join you up there."  He stared him down.  "I met Daniel and Teal'c a few decades back.  I'm one of the premiere cursebreakers on this realm, especially in things that go toward Thinial."

"Thinial?" he asked.  Xander found a book nearby and showed it to him.  "That's Asgardian!"

"Dawn's best friend is a Valkyrie," he said with a grin.  "She'll be fine."

"Abigail, are you certain?" he asked.

She nodded.  "I need to learn, Dad.  It might come in useful up there.  Besides, look at the library behind me, Dad, and it's one of *three*.  I can research anything I want while I'm here.  Please don't keep throwing a fit?  Ask Uncle John?"

"Fine.  I'll calm down but I'll expect weekly calls since we have figured this communications method out, daughter."  She smiled and nodded.  "What's her first class?"

"Charms," Alex said with a grin.  "That first day she'll get charms, beginning Arithmancy, and then some history of our kind lessons.  At the higher levels I'll start putting back in muggle history as well.  Like I said, she should be done by the time she's sixteen.  We can do xenobiology for creatures as well as creatures.  She can do chemistry and potions at the same time.  Charms does use physics in some instances and I know some of the guys here can teach physics if they ask nicely enough.  She'll have a very well- rounded education.   You're more than welcome to call or come over whenever you can.  Understood?"  That got a grim looking nod.  "Thank you.  Now, Abby, go ahead and finish up.  Trembly's got the room cleaned up and your things should be here soon."  He patted her on the head and went back to his study.  Horatio walked in and shut the door.  "Are you guys staying?"

"I think we are," he admitted, smiling at him. "If that's all right?  Us and the quad both want to take up residence, so of course Tony would be as well."

"That's fine but you get to teach physics."

"I can do that."  He gave him a hug.  "It'll be fine, Alex."

"Why do this to me again?" he asked, looking at him.  "Why me?  Why not some one else?  Or get one of us when we're out in the open?  Why send it here?"

"I don't know.  We'll figure that out over time."  He gave him a pat on the back.  "Relax.  You have years as well.  Tony, Speed, and Danny are already figuring out if this is a permanent change or if we're going to suddenly die when we reach our old lifespan." Alex nodded, sighing a bit.  "We'll still be young and pretty by then, Alex.  It's a fantastic chance."

"That I've already had," he complained.  "I feel like I'm living a movie.  I don't want to be a groundhog."

"I know.  Now this time maybe you'll play professional quidditch for a few years."  He smiled.  "We might be."  He gave him another shoulder squeeze.  "Trembly said the girls' things are in.  It'll be fine.  They'll learn to enjoy the trio of terror's unique brand of mental irritation soon enough."  Alex smiled a bit at that thought.  "Good man.  Now, come on.  There's cookies being made."

"Sure.  I could use a cookie."  He closed his journal and they headed into the kitchen to get some cookies.  "I need to get herbology samples too," he said through a bite.

"Send Blair.  That's one of his strongest areas."  Alex nodded, taking another bite of cookie.  "Let Speed, Danny, and I teach the higher sciences.  Let Danny and Draco teach potions.  You teach charms with the other cursebreakers.  It'll be fine.  They'll get out of here in no time.  You only took four years to fully train Don and he kept slacking off."

"Good point."  He finished his first cookie, looking around.  "Maybe I should take them back to the manor instead of doing this here."

"You'd have everyone and their cousin popping in," Mac said from behind them.  He grinned at Alex.  "My first thought was to be really angry, Alex.  Especially for you because this happened again."

"Mine too.  I'm wondering why me."

"At least we know it wasn't because someone needed you to face down the next villain," Mac offered.  "Now, about the girls, how can I help?"

"What's your best areas?  Muggle and not?" Alex asked.

"I can teach them military things or help them with it.  I can help them study people for interrogations and things."  Alex nodded.  "Thanks."  He smiled and went inside to talk to the girls, see where he could help them.   Danny, Tony, and Speed would turn them into capable little thugs with brains.  He'd help soften that he hoped.  He found Stella and Dawn helping them put their things up.  "Please don't drag me shopping," he begged, making Stella laugh. "The last time you did we nearly got taken hostage, Stella."

"I won't, Mac."  She smiled at him.  "Coming to help?"

"I came to talk to them, see if I could help with their education at all."  He grinned at them.  "In my last life I was a Marine and then at CSI with the NYPD.  I ran the lab Stella, Danny, and I worked out of.  Don worked with us."  They all nodded at that.  "Here within the next few months I'm going to start PT again so if you girls want to join me you're more than welcome to.  Or if you want my opinion on science stuff, I'm good at that.  I mentored Danny when he joined the lab and a lot of others."

"I'm sure we'll find you something to help us with," MJ said with a small smile.  "After all, I study people and you did the same thing?"

"I did a lot of studying people, usually to find a weakness, but that's what interrogation was for."  That got a nod and another smile.  "So we'll work on it together.  Stella, if they need stuff you might want to talk to Alex tonight so he can plan the shopping trip soon.  The normal students left today."

"I can do that.  They'll definitely need brooms since neither relative bought any," she said happily.  She looked at the rest of the clothes.  "Plus we can expand that stuff so you have enough for at least two weeks."

"Plus some cute stuff," Dawn agreed.  "There is an art to being cute, yet practical and I mastered it long ago.  Alex made sure of it."  She beamed at them.  "Dinner should be soon, let's hurry up, guys.  The house elves cook *really* well."  They nodded and finished unpacking then followed them down the stairs.  "I went to Hogwarts for four years.  Feel really lucky this castle isn't as big of a maze.  You can get lost at Hogwarts.  Here some doorways are hidden but the stairs don't change direction or anything."  She walked them into the kitchen.  "Alex, Abby doesn't have a wand.  None of them have brooms.  They need more clothes too.  Can you do the wallet cough?"

"I can do the wallet cough," he sighed, handing his over.  "Go tonight to get those if you can."  Dawn squealed.  "No shoe shopping," he ordered as she drug the girls with her.  Stella and a few others followed because they'd need to pick up materials to teach them with.  It wasn't like he was going to be teaching things exactly as they did in Hogwarts.  He looked at Don.  "We did good with you, right?"

"You did great with me," he reminded him with a smile.  "They're clearly not the cursebreakers we are.  No one said anything about baby dragons, kidnaping trolls, or anything."  Alex grinned at that.  "We'll have to see where they fall and how they can use that sort of stuff with the military stuff.  Mac can help with that a lot."  Mac nodded.   "How was she expecting to do anything without a wand?"

"I don't think her father knew to get her one," Alex admitted.  "He's a bit far away from everything."  He sipped is tea, smiling at his house elves.  "They'll be back in a while.  Set a second dinner for them."  They nodded and served the rest who were still there.  "Anyone want to fly later?" he asked finally to lighten the silence.

"Sure," Horatio said happily.  "I need to make sure I still have balance."  Alex grinned and Don smirked.  "You guys can work together too."  He dug in, eating faster now.  He had to get his broom out of the closet.  He hadn't flown in over a month because his back had been hurting recently.  It was nice that the deaging had made the bullet that had lodged in there ten years earlier fly out.  Fortunately the mediwitch saw it and healed it for him.

***

The girls came back from their shopping expedition and paused at the floo entrance.  "How are they doing that?" TM asked in awe.

Dawn grinned.  "That's why we got you brooms, girls.  That's wizarding PE."  She walked them on, giving Abby a small nudge to get her to move.  "Come on.  You'll learn to do that.  We have some of the best quidditch players in the world in this strange, huge ass family."  They all grinned at her.  "It'll be fine, girls.  I promise."  She winked and led them back to the castle.  "Trembly, is there any food?"

"Master Alex sir made house elfs make a second wave of dinner for girls," one of the other house elves called from the library.  "Go eat before goes cold, girls."

"Thanks, Giggly!" Dawn yelled, rushing that way.  They put their things up then hurried down the back stairs to eat and chat.  Dawn was pretty cool and it wasn't anything they had any experience in.  They'd be learning a lot from her hopefully.

"Uncle John would love flying on a broom.  He loves to fly," Abby told the others.  "Do they work with normal people?"

"Muggles?  Well, no not really but I have the feeling Alex can make it work somehow.  Alex does a lot of theoretical stuff that no one else seems to be able to do.  Slipping dimensions, slipping time, all sorts of stuff."  Dawn ate a bite of dinner.  "Then again, Ray Junior accidentally slipped time too once.  He can't do it now and he went back to meet a different version of the trio of terror in their realm while doing it," she offered, waving her fork around a bit.  "That's probably in the library somewhere too."  Tony came in.  "Not flying?"

"Came in to get a drink.  Have fun getting brooms?"

"I got them baseline, good brooms that can be good enough if they have the quidditch spark," Dawn said proudly. "And some other clothes so they could dig in the garden and things."  She ate another bite.  "Are we playing a pickup game?"

"Not yet.  Horatio realized he balanced differently when he nearly fell.  Probably next weekend or so."  He grinned and patted Abby on the head.  "You can go over all the theoretical stuff you want once you're past the first two years work in most things and third year in charms.  Got it?"  She nodded, smiling at him. "Good.  So next year probably but you can start doing research now if you want."  He grinned and walked out.  "We did, often."  He walked back outside with his bottle of soda.  "We really should scare the crap out of our old school by showing up," he offered with a grin for Danny.

Danny shivered.  "Oh, that's a bad idea.  The new headmistress was one of our classmates, Tony."

"All the more fun," Tony quipped.

"Sure, we'll do that sometime soon," Speed agreed happily.  "Totally make them think we're there to reenroll or something.  Watch them cry in a few cases."

Danny sighed.  "We'll go pick up a book we need for research or somethin'," he announced.  They all beamed and nodded at each other.  "Friday?"

"Friday," they agreed, shaking hands and going back to the flying stuff.  Their team had to be good enough to beat the All Bane team, it was a matter of pride.  They'd only lost two matches during the whole time they had been playing that way.  One of them because Speed's surrogate was in labor.  The other Alex had managed to be cursed during it by a student watching who didn't like him being gay.  Otherwise, they always won.

"Ya know, I was looking at one of those realmal mirror thingies and I saw a world where Xander was married to George Weasley and had a killer quidditch team in the Gryff house."

Everyone in the field, on brooms and not, stared at him.  "No way in hell!" Draco shouted.  "I don't care how good of a team they are.  It's bad enough I'm an in-law to that Weasley, much less a whole team of them."

"Most of 'em were half yours, Draco," Danny said with a bright, happy grin.  "Malfoy- Weasleys with Ginny."

Draco shuddered and Fred had to catch him.  "Quit picking on Draco," George complained.  "He's delicate and fragile.  Especially since he won't get shagged for at least the next year."

"We have to destroy that realm," Draco told the twin holding onto him.  "Before they somehow manage to spread over here."

Alex cleared his throat.  "Would that be Iggy, Simone, and them?" he asked.  Danny beamed and nodded.  "You're right, they're great on a broom.  Draco, you remember Iggy, right?"

Draco landed and went to find the scotch.  He had a headache now.  He did not want those thoughts to ever come back.  That's why he had blocked them out.

"Boys not old enough to drink," one of the house elves complained.

Draco stared at him.  "Trembly, they were just talking about a realm where I had kids with Ginerva Weasley," he said grimly.  "And how good their quidditch team was.  I'm going to drink myself to sleep."  He took the bottle and walked off, heading up to their room to lay down and drink.  It was better that way.  Much easier when he passed out.  He kicked off his shoes, opened the bottle, and took his first drink as he laid down.  It was better this way.

Alex looked at the others. "Don't you guys remember Iggy?"

"We didn't know you then," Horatio told him.  "It might be better that way."

"It couldn't be worse than we think," Mac told him.

Horatio looked down at him.  "Yes it can."

"Damn it, he's too young to shag those bad thoughts out of his head again," one of the twins muttered.  "Alex, when did you hit puberty?"

"Almost fifteen," he called.  Then he cackled.  "Last life, fourteen."

"Aw, damn, three years," the other twin groaned.  "We'll have to put up with the bad thoughts for three years."  He gave the other banes a look and they all knocked Alex out, Don shifting to catch him before he could fall.  "Thank you.  Let's see if Draco's amenable to cuddling them out at the very least."

"Cuddling isn't going to help this one," Danny said dryly.  "Doesn't when Tony and Speed get 'em."

"Danny, do we *really* have to mention all the Evil Overlord books?" Don asked as he flew Alex inside and up to his room.   One of the paintings gave him an odd look as he flew past.  "Bad thoughts and it'll be a few years before he hits puberty."  The painting cried and ran off to her other one in the manor house to spread those bad ideas.

Danny grabbed his broom and floated up.  "Okay, let's practice, people.  Some of us don't wanna fall off our brooms this life."  They all grinned and got back to it.  Don could join them later.  After all, quidditch was good for them.

The aunts sent over a pile of suggestions later that night.  It was how they had managed Alex the first time he had been this age.  It had helped a little bit at the very least.

***

Abby smiled at her father when she had Dawn turn on the mirror the next time.  "Hi, Dad."

"Abigail," he said happily.  "How are your studies?"

"Well, this week we've learned a few things.  I've learned a lot of wand control, a few charms that'll help.  Things like lighting fires."  Her father grimaced.  "It's the beginning lessons, Dad.  Then we move up to harder things."

"Of course you do. That's the way you study any subject.  Are you learning bad things as well?"

"Draco told us if we were at school we'd be learning the usual prank hexes and how to counter them because there's inter-house competition and some minor hatred.  Fortunately we're avoiding all that by being here.  Oh, arithmancy is pretty cool.  We started out with algebra and learned a few formulas we didn't have in regular algebra.  It seems that part of the math of arithmancy is still magically based.  So we have to deal with power issues and belief issues.  Because if we can't believe we can do it, we can't.  Like flying is.  Oooho, that's our PE, flying.  Like in the books."  She looked around. "Harry?"  He popped out of the secondary library.  "Can my dad meet you?"

"Sure."  He walked over and smiled and waved.  "Hi, Harry Potter."  Her father sat down hard.  He grinned. "The books were right up to the fifth year, and then my grandfather Alex stepped in."

"You're how old?"

"Deaged," he reminded him.  "I was in my mid sixties just last week.  It's a bit odd being eleven again."  He walked off shaking his head.  "You three have flying this afternoon and then herbology.  Don't be too long.  You're still trying to roll instead of turning."

"Yes, Harry."  She grinned at her father.  "Plus I have Ron Weasley helping me with the basics of field stuff.  He's a cursebreaker too, like his big brother Bill is.  Alex trained them both."

Her father blinked.  "I'm not sure if I'm happy or not at the moment."

"Oh, be happy for once, Dad!" she sighed, shaking her head.  "I'm having a lot of fun.  Even if some of the plants in Herbology do try to eat me.  Nothing worse than what we have in the botany lab really."  She beamed and shifted some.  "What're we doing about the holidays?  I figure we should start planning now.  That way we can figure out if we're coming back, if I'm coming up for a week and a half and then coming back here, or if you're going to come down for a while.  Or if I'm staying," she finished at his small sigh of complaint.  "I'm staying?"

"I don't know how we'd work it, Abigail."

"Easy.  I'd inhabit a small closet on the ship, spend some time at home, come back here the same way," she said firmly.  "Unless you don't want me?" she asked when he sighed again.

"No, I do want you.  I have wanted you since about ten minutes after someone told me the insane little Asgard bastard made you for me so there were future geniuses, because obviously we were falling down on that area according to Loki."

"Ranting time?" she teased.

"You have no idea and I kept you up for *days*," he said smugly.  "I'll see what I can do about the holidays.  What about this summer?"

"Alex said it's up to you because he knows what a pain in the butt getting me home would be.  He's going to be here.  He's presently defending the castle from his demon-summoning brother that he tasered as we walked in on."  Her father opened his mouth but she held up a hand.  "We think he's the one who did the deaging thingy, Dad.  He's mean.  Dawn kicked him in the nuts and everything.  Sicced a house elf on him too."  She grinned.  "We should see if you guys could have a house elf since they said they were made by the Elders when TM asked."

"Elders?"

She nodded, getting up to get a history book, turning to the right section so he could read it from the mirror.  "Isn't that cool?  TM said that her grandfather mentioned that house elves could feel his buddy Teal'c."  She sat down again, the book in her lap.  "There's tons of ancient, old, and outdated knowledge around here.  Alex has been collecting for ages from tombs all over the world."

He blinked a few times.  "I might be coming down for the holidays after all then.  I'd like to get a better look at where this arithmancy is going."

"Yes, dad.  I'd send you some if I could email you.  If I get to come up I'll bring some of the advanced books too.  Alex said I could.  The book return spell won't work that far away and he'll give me dispensation if I need it."

He smirked at that.  "Yes, book nerds do tend to horde their collections like dragons are said to."

"No, I've seen a young dragon.  They do horde and they do smoke.  Dawn said they used to dive down her shirt because stomachs sound like mother dragons."  Her father's mouth opened and she beamed.  "You'd like Beau, Dad, she's the same sort of morning grumpy you are.  She and Keelian are presently running away from Hogwarts to shack up in Alex's storage caverns.  Keelian was apparently adopted by Ron or something."

"Other way around," Harry called.  "Flying time, Abby.  Call him later."

"Can I, Dad?"

He smiled.  "Later tonight, pumpkin.  Dinner here is in four hours, call anytime after that."  She nodded and hung up.  He went to talk to his best friend about this strange education of his daughter's.  He found him in the mess hall getting some coffee.  "She's met dragons and Harry Potter now."  John Sheppard choked on his coffee so he nodded.  "Exactly."  He walked off after dropping that bombshell, going back to his lab to complain to himself.  All the other scientists had backed away when the mirror came to life and had fled for an extra-long break it seemed.

John walked in, looking very confused.  "Your daughter.  Abby.  Met Harry Potter?"

"Yes, introduced us and all that."  He waved a hand around.  "And now she said she's met a runaway dragon.  It apparently escaped the school with another one and they're shacking up in the storage caverns at the castle she's at.  Apparently one of them was adopted by one of the family there or something."

John shook his head.  "Well, she's a bit strange."

"They're doing magical math.  She said there's formulas as early as algebra that quantify belief and power flows.  She did want to know about the holidays so we could make some plans."

"You could go.  You haven't taken a vacation since we got here, Rodney."

"Yes, but that's a very long trip for only a few days with her."

"So come back late!"  He shrugged. "From the sounds of this Alex guy he's not going to keep you from your little girl."

"Point.  He did invite me down whenever I was on the same planet."  He considered it then looked at him. "She's taking flying lessons and then herbology this afternoon.  Harry had to remind her of her flying class."

"Again, witches, herbs, makes sense."

"She said some are about as deadly as we have here, Colonel."

"Oh."  He nodded.  "That can happen I guess.  Some strange plants in the Amazon valley and things.  Go down, tell me how it goes."

"I'm not sure I won't be bringing her back if I do that."

"I'm sure it'll be fine," he said, patting him on the shoulder.  "She's happy, right?"

"She has her mother's taste in locations for fun," he said dryly, staring at him.

John just smirked.  "At least she's having fun.  She hardly ever did here."  He walked off to think about this.  It was a bit strange.  He knew they had one of their people on the mission.  It was fairly well stated that Britain had sent someone they called an auror.  Now, he had only read a few of the Harry Potter books but....  He found him in the mess hall begging for dinner.  "No fish and chips tonight?" he asked.  The auror smirked at him.  "You do know Doctor McKay's daughter is in Scotland?"

"It's a good school.  Canada would've been better.  They let in technology."

"She's learning with someone named Alex Dumass at Dumass Castle?"

"She's a cursebreaker?" he demanded, turning to stare at him, hands going to his hips.  The mess worker cleared her throat and handed him his tray.  "Thanks, love.  Appreciate it.  Have rounds soon."  He sat down, the colonel sitting across from him. "She is?"

"She went to Hogwarts because someone in the ministry there knew something about the project.  No unnecessary questions or lies," he said quietly.

He nodded.  "All because someone sent Dumass something in Thinial that brought Doctor Jackson running.  I remember.  I was just out of my training.  Did you ever meet Tonks?"

"Once.  Why?"  He mostly remembered her very bright hair that always seemed to change and how she spanked him the moment she met him then grinned and said he had a nice butt, but he was too young for her.

"She's the one who trained me," he said with an evil grin.  "She was the first one who came."

"I'm sure it scared many people."  He leaned a bit closer.  "I want to know what you know on this Dumass guy and about this deaging stuff."  He spluttered again.  "Apparently last week.  I heard her say something about mean brothers who might've done it and Alex tasering him?"

"Best thing to do except cut off his head," he admitted.  "Alex's brother Justinius is the last of that generation alive.  He's an evil bastard.  The whole family can be a bit dark now and then but they threw him out at eleven for summoning demons to eat his little brother and a unicorn."

"They exist?"

"Yeah, the Dumass clan has a known history of providing them safe shelter and raising whole herds.  Dumass himself drinks unicorn cream in his tea from what I've heard around."  John gaped.  He grinned. "He's a bit strange now and then.  Very tough, very strong.  The boy could whip my bum when he was his present age the first time and what he's learned over time has only made it worse.  How old is he now?"

"Abby's age apparently."  That got a groan and a head shake.  "So this has happened before?"

"Let me get notes and orders from my superiors, sir.  They'll have a lot more of the information that'll make both Da's pipe down and calm down about it.  They're in a good spot.  Alex knows his shit.  Hell, he figured out how some thieves were stealing from the vaults around Europe by sliding time and dimensions for a bit.  Nearly got imprisoned for it because his handlers got scared of him.  Nearly got a few of his students back then too.  Of which one was his grandson, Harry."  He grinned.  "Can I have enough time for that?"

"Please.  Also, Doctor McKay was thinking about going down for one of the holidays for a visit.  How?"

"I'll give him an address to go to.  He can walk in there and they'll call them to pick him up."

"That'll work.  Get me that information ASAP.  Thank you."  He stood up and walked off, going to tell Rodney what he knew so far.  He found him babbling in frustration at Radek and sighed, pulling him off to talk to him in private.  "We have an auror in the mission," he said quietly.  Rodney gaped at that.  "Alex found something in Thinial and brought in Daniel Jackson."  That got a moan.  "We've had aurors since then.  Do you remember that one scary woman, Tonks?"  He shuddered but nodded.  "She's one of their aurors.  He'll be sending home for information on the family, what's going on out there, all that.  He'll also give you an address to go to if you want to go down there and they can pick you up from there.  Can you wait a week or so?"

"I can.  Abby isn't hiding things from me yet."

"Good."  He smiled.  "Besides, if it's not that strange, maybe I'll go and see what flying really looks like.  The movie made it look cool."  He walked off happier.  He hadn't been this happy since that strange cave his team had walked into had slowed their aging down to one year per actual decade.

Rodney McKay growled but went back to work.  At least someone would be looking out for his only offspring down there!  Then he'd get her back and detox her from all this magic nonsense and get her back into science as she should be.

***

TM and MJ gave each other a look then looked over at Abby.  "We need to go out and have some fun," MJ told her.

Abby looked over.  "If we leave the castle's grounds we could get into trouble."

"So we'll stay and start to explore around here.  I'm sure there's all sorts of hidden treasure rooms around the grounds."

"Maybe but will we get into trouble?  Alex seems very nice and I don't want to disappoint him."

"You won't," TM promised. "I'm sure he did the same thing."

Abby put down her pen and stood up.  "Come on, where are we going?"  She grabbed her wand and personal can of pepper spray her father had given her a long time ago. "Do I need a jacket?"  They shook their heads and headed off, sneaking out toward the ring of mountains around the valley.  They knew there were caves.  They had seen plenty of them.

Draco looked outside and sighed.  "Someone keep an ear on the girls," he called to the others.  "They're exploring and bored."

Don snickered.  "You know some of those lessons are dry at first."

"Yes but they still have to go through them, don't they?" Draco shot back.  He walked off shaking his head.  A few of the caves had traps that only Alex could get them out of.

***

Alex walked into the cavern the next morning, looking at the girls in the tiny cage.  "Morning," he said cheerfully, smirking a bit.   "I see you do have the basics of why people become cursebreakers."

"Ingenuity?" TM asked patiently.

"Curiosity and nosiness."  He flicked his wand at the cage, making it let them go.  He looked at the girls.  "Since you wanted to explore we can do the long nagged for inventory of all the things out here."  He grinned.  "Don't worry, there'll still be stuff left to do when you three have graduated college, but it's gotta be done.  Justinius has to be after something out here."

"There's not that much in here," MJ said.  "Or do you have others?"

He smirked at her.  "Cursebreakers always horde something.  Some like gold.  I like books.  Plus I didn't trust half of this with the goblins or going back into the world.  Not all of it's harmful but half the stuff in here could've eaten or possessed you.  This stuff comes when you can sense and tell what sort of spells are on something, girls.  Not even Ron started out here."  They nodded.  "Now, if you're bored, I can let you three over to the manor house and you can help with the farm and kitchen stuff over there, or the unicorns."  They gaped so he grinned and took them over there, making his aunts all gasp in horror.  "You never showed up," he told them.  "By the way, I kicked Justy's ass again.  He wanted the castle."  He led them out back, pointing.  "Look, unicorns."

MJ squealed and went pelting down there, stopping a bit away to stare.  "Can we take pictures, Alex?"

"Yup."  He handed her the special wizarding camera.  "There you go.  Only share with people who know, MJ."  He smiled at TM.  "You can pet them."  He clucked his tongue and a young one came trotting up.  Even when he couldn't touch them they all liked him. "Hello, dear."  He squatted down and the girls sat down to pet the baby with him, making him a happy, spoiled foal until his mother came looking for him. She nudged MJ and got another squeal then petted herself, making her a tolerant mother unicorn.  Alex grinned at Abby.  "Now, if you find one of these where your dad is, you know what to do."

"Is it true about the myths?" she asked quietly.  He nodded.  She bit her lip.  "Really?"

"Really.  By the way, when you get to that point, there's girls around to ask or you can come to me.  Okay?"  She nodded, relaxing at that.  "For now, enjoy being eleven, Abby.  Like the song says, older years come on quicker than you think sometimes."  She went back to petting the unicorn.  "You three give love.  I'll be with the aunts."  He walked back into the kitchen.  "So, what did Justy want?"

"Control of everything," one of his aunts told him.  "You think he did this?"

"I'm thinking he might've been behind it, yes.  He showed up three days later and didn't look all that surprised that I'm eleven on my next birthday."  He grinned.  "Fortunately we have dispensation so we don't have to go to Hogwarts again."

"Thank Merlin," that aunt said, looking up and saying a prayer to his wisdom.  She looked at him again.  "What's with the girls?"

"The twins' grandfather is Daniel Jackson, the guy who came over about that book in Thinial?"  They all nodded at that.  "The other is Abby, her father's on the same project.  We knew, wouldn't ask questions like Canada did.  But they're techno babies and Hogwarts doesn't even have electricity."  They all winced.  "Since two of the three are natural cursebreakers I've agreed to teach them everything.  It can only help them if they go back."  That got a few smiles.  "Dawn's taken them shopping.  Probably given them all lectures about the local society being a bit uptight.  Last night they were bored so they snuck off.  Got caught in one of the traps in the caverns.  They'll get to help with the inventory.  Oh, if any of you hear from Justy, remind him I've still got the taser, I've learned deadlier spells since the last time he saw me, and yes, I am that mean."  He grinned sweetly.  "Plus the Ministry said we're functionally able adults in smaller bodies.  He can't get me that way either because I don't need a guardian."  He strolled back out, looking at them.  "Now, in relation to your creatures lessons, where do they fall?" he asked, sitting down again.

"Equine, nature based, native to this plane, rare everywhere but here evidently," Abby said.

"Gentle, with restrictions, and intelligent," MJ added.

TM pouted.  "Magical abilities?"

Alex nodded.  "Magical abilities too.  The horn can do some damage and if it stabs you, you won't be healing that wound.  Even with all this deaging I still carry scars from where one of the stallions bit me because I was protecting a new foal that wasn't born his."  They stared at him.  "They're intelligent but they still live in the herd structure.  The current herd stallion has all the new kids or else he'll try to kill them.  I protected one from him."  He pointed.  "That's the current herd stallion and his second in command.  I protected the second-in-command."  He smiled at them.  "They're also not eternal.  They do live an awfully long time but they're not eternal."

"How old?" TM asked.

"The herd stallion's about eighty last I knew.  Most horses live to be about twenty.  A bit less if they're in the wild."  They nodded and went back to their petting.  "Anytime you three get bored, you can come help the aunts groom them.  You can come do some of the farm stuff.  It's good training if you have to survive sometimes.  They also garden so if you're stuck in herbology and we can't help, ask them."  That got some smiles.  "We ready?"  They nodded.  "Okay.  Sorry, guys, have to take them back to the castle."  The foal nudged Abby, getting a cuddle.  He bleated at her and she smiled, petting his nose.  "Not near the horn.  You have to be pure of even mean impulses to touch the horn," he said quietly. She nodded, avoiding that area.  "Go get the aunts to help, guys."  They trotted that way and he helped the girls up, walking them inside.  "Where's the hair gathering cloth?"  One of the aunts handed it over.  "We collect the shed hairs," he told them, letting them wipe their hands off.  The cloth would collect and bundle the hairs.  "Ron's sister Ginny used to help us with them all the time."  He walked them back outside, doing the camp moving spell.  They all squealed at that.  He smirked a bit as he walked off.  "That's a senior level study."

"Wow," Abby said, looking at the twins.  "That could be very helpful."  They nodded.  "So apparently we have to study a lot."

They ran back to their room to get back to their homework.  The twins would call their grandfather later so he wouldn't worry too much.

***

A few months later Abby woke up with a scream, sweating.  She panted, gulping air, looking around.  She got up and grabbed her bathrobe and slippers, heading down to the library, activating the mirror.  Dawn had told them how to do it a few weeks back once they got to that level of spells.  "Dad."  He woke up, the mirror was carried around with him, he had promised he moved it each night he went back to his rooms.  "Daddy!" she said more loudly.  He sat up, glaring at her.  "I know it's well before the butt crack of dawn there, but I had one of those dreams.  Like with the Genii the last time, Dad.  I need you to get off Atlantis."

"Why?" he asked, sounding very tired.  "What sort of dream?"

"The type where I saw you dying, Dad.  Please!" she begged.

"I'm not going to die, dear."

"You are!  I know you are!"

Dawn walked in, giving her a hug.  She ran the checking spell over her.  "This wasn't a normal nightmare.  Her blood sugar's tanked," she said quietly.  "I think you should probably listen to this one."  She looked down at Abby.  "Have you had precognitive dreams before?"

She nodded, swallowing too.  "Once.  I saw one of the peoples who want to kill us invade.  I was right too.  They came a few days later."  She looked at her father.  "Please, Dad?  Pretty please?"

"I'm needed...."

"I need you too!" she said loudly, standing up.  "If you get shot and killed I have to take your place, Dad!  I'm not ready for that yet!"

"You've wanted to see where she's learning and some of her books," Dawn reminded him calmly.  "It'd be a good time and it'd help her.  Tell him everything that you saw happening, Abby.  It can only help."

She swallowed and nodded, looking at her father, feeling miserable.  "The blue light from one of the machines brought a problem.  It brought a native with poisons.  You were shot with a dart because he killed all the people who took him from his God.  He was a priest and you accidentally transported him.  You and the others all died before they could get him sedated and sent home.  It was the green machine with the red knobs and the big, blue dial in center.  You thought it was some sort of scanning device from one of the ships."

He nodded once.  "I know what you're talking about.  It was found earlier."

"Well don't touch it!"

"I won't touch it," he promised.  "I'll make notes on what you think it could be.  How often have you had these?"

"This is the second one."  She slumped, sitting down again.  "I can't lose you yet, Dad."

"I know, Abigail.  We'll work it out and I'll be down there soon."  She nodded, letting Dawn close the connection.  He got up and put on clothes, heading to the lab.  He put a large 'do not touch' sign on it and made note underneath about what they thought it could do.  He'd have to carefully test around that to see if the function she thought it had was right without activating it fully.  Then he went to talk to John.  He clearly woke him up since he came to his door in boxers and dogtags, and nothing else.  "They're teaching her to listen to her odd dreams."

"Why?" he asked, sounding hoarse from snoring.

"She just called up begging me to come for a visit because otherwise one of the new machines that got found would get me killed."

John let him into his room, looking at him.  "She was panicking about the Genii the day they invaded last time."

"She said she dreamed it then too."  He grimaced.  "I need to check that machine, see if she was right about the function it served.  She was frantic and that Dawn girl did come to hold her for me."

"Then we'll go down for a vacation," John told him.  Rodney gave him an odd look.  "There's no way I'm letting you go into an odd situation like that without backup, McKay.  You might get taken by a dragon or something."

"Well, I am a precious resource," he said dryly.  "Fine, you can come as well."

"Thanks.  Now hit your bunk.  It's late."

"I know."  He walked off, thinking hard.  He almost went back to the lab but he knew he'd do something stupid with as tired as he was.  Then he'd have something else to fix around this place.  He swore Atlantis broke itself just to make him fix something everyday.

***

Dawn looked at Alex over breakfast.  "Abby had a prophetic dream."  He grunted.  She gave him a look.  "Not awake yet?"

"I can't wake up without sex anymore," he muttered.  He looked at her.  "She call whoever?"  She nodded.  "She okay?"

"Her blood sugar tanked so I gave her some of your treats, then we talked for awhile before I put her back in bed."

"I'll let them have a few extra hours this afternoon.  Draco's running potions this morning."  She nodded at that, smiling a bit.  "Anything else happen?"

"She convinced her father to come down for a visit."

"I'll make sure we have guest rooms ready.  He's a bit paranoid and he'll probably bring someone to help him in case he wants to snatch her home."  She nodded at that.  "Have you had problems with the house elves?"

"Yup, they decided I'm a child so therefore I can't do what I'd normally do."

"Damn I miss Me.  She was a good head of house elf."  He sipped, looking at his current one, motioning her closer.  She shook her head so he grabbed an ear and pulled her closer.  "Just because we are physically this age does not mean we are not fully our old selves mentally.  I have all my memories.  I will not tolerate such problems as we've all had with you thinking we're stupid little kids.  The only little kids in the castle are the three new students.  Am I clear?"

"Yous boy."

"No, I'm still Alexander.  I still run this house and you will listen to me or you're being sent off."  She shook her head.  "Fine."  He took off his shirt and handed it to her, making her wail.  "Am I clear now?"  She screamed and wailed until Dawn got one of the aunts over to take her off.  He glared at the aunt.  "They decided we're boys and girls, we don't have sense."

"I'll see if any of the others can be a good house elf caretaker, Alex.  Do have more tea, dear."

"She tried to keep me from my broom!"

She sighed.  "We'll figure it out, dear."  She walked the house elf through the floo with the thought that maybe they could help them instead.

Alex looked around at the silent house elves.  "The others who have that thought should probably head to the manor house too."  They mostly left.  He was left with a few loyal house elves.  He looked at Dawn, who grimaced.  "Take Mac, Horatio, and Tony, go get a few more," he said quietly.  "You'll have to unlock the household account vault.  She locked the door so I couldn't pay bills.  I got frustrated and left it."

She nodded, getting up to get them up.  All three were outside. "Guys, Alex just sent most of the house elves back to the manor house for their stunts."  Tony whimpered, shaking his head slowly.  She nodded.  "We've got three right now.  We need a few more.  He said to go find some."

"Sure," Mac agreed.  "Too bad the others ones in the family are gone or we'd be able to use them and only pick up a few."

Horatio and Tony both gave him bad looks.  "Mac, the house elf shelter is a very pitiful place.  I nearly came home with one last time.  Gibbs nearly came home with one last time."

Mac grinned.  "That's fine.  I was a bit of an angst hound at this age the last time.  How do the real kids put it, emo?"  That got a sigh from Tony, and him going to help Dawn open the door to the vault.  Then they went together.  The castle usually had about ten elves.  Mac smiled at the human at the house elf shelter.  "We're here for Alex Dumass and the castle."

"We had a small revolt," Dawn agreed.  "They decided our deaged selves were normal children."  The keeper hissed.  She nodded.  "Exactly.  We have no caretaker, head house elf sort.  We have *three* left and they're all pretty ancient elves."

"Caretaker or inside elves?" she asked.

"Yes," Dawn said with a small grin.  "And one that can do the horses.  She fled too."

"Okay."  She led them off, watching as the two boys nearly melted at the few pitiful looks they were getting.  "It's been a good year to get them adopted.  We're not as full as we usually are."

Dawn smiled.  "That's fine.  Guys, I'm Dawn Weasley.  I live at Castle Dumass.  We need house elves that won't see us as children just because someone deaged us. We're still full adults only in shrunken bodies."  They all gaped.  "We need inside and outside house elves.  You won't be helping do much with the artifacts.  Now and then you'll get to move some of them around to help one of the cursebreakers.  We also have three students at the moment, all nice girls.  We lost eight this morning to the thought we were still children.  We'd like ones that cooked very well for the inside ones.  There's a lot of large appetites and since we're all teenagers, the boys will have to go through the bottomless pit stage soon."  The six in the room came over to talk to them more about the duties.  She summoned one of the remaining house elves, letting them babble at him.  "Any head of house elves?"

"Those are usually promoted."

She nodded.  "Our three can't plan things.  Our last good one got sick about ten years ago.  We all miss Me.  The one that got clothes this morning was about the only choice but a bad one."

She nodded.  "I can see how that happens.  He gave them clothes?"

"They locked the vault so he couldn't pay bills because he's just a boy.  Locked his broom, locked him out of the library," she said, earning a groan.  "Yeah, we had enough of that yesterday.  He gave one clothes, and the rest fled when he made himself clear."

"What about among the family?"

"I don't think there is one.  The aunts have one for the manor house.  I don't think any of the others are qualified."

"Let me make a call."  She went to do that.  She knew of an older family that just gambled away an estate.  House elves weren't usually part of that arrangement.  Within a few calls she had the house elves there for interviewing.

Dawn looked at the solemn looking one.  "Head of house elf?"  He nodded once.  "We live at the Castle Dumass."  He smiled at that, looking a bit evil really.  "Someone threw something through the floo that deaged us all.  The old house elves couldn't get past our ages.  Our head of house elf got clothes this morning because she wouldn't let Alex pay bills or things."

The house elf nodded.  "Masters is masters or mistresses no matter what the age."

"Where did you serve?" Horatio asked.

"Family DeGuire."

"Hmm."  She nodded.  "I've heard of them.  You'd be over the castle and only the castle."  That got a nod.  "We have students and friends in all the time.  There's a lot of us.  All teenagers again."

"Masters are masters or mistresses no matter what their age," he said again.  She smiled and patted him, nodding that she'd take him.  Two more of his staff came with him and they left with five of the other ones there.  One decided she didn't want to live somewhere that chilly so Dawn suggested she look down in South America.  The helper human set her down to call down there to see if they had any openings.  Dawn paid the fees, filled out the few forms, and then took them home.  "Alex."  He came out of his study.  "This is the former head of house elf from the Family DeGuire."

"I heard he gambled his house away.  You mind cursebreakers?"  The house elf shook his head.  "Good.  Let's go over the family's schedule.  The rest of you get acquainted with the castle and the grounds."  They nodded and did that.  He smiled.  "I have one house elf assigned to the students.  They eat with us but that way they have someone to help them if they need it."  That got a nod and Alex pulled out the usual house schedule, letting him see it.  "The library and any other work areas must always be cleaned.  Anything with shields up you're not to go into.  Anything that's an artifact, if it's not sealed down, ask before you touch it the first time."  That got a nod.  "That was drawn up by my original one, Me.  I miss her.  She was a good house elf to us.  This last one was a compromise between me and my aunts."  He called over there.  "Dawn went to the house elf shelter."

"That's fine.  Did she find a good manager?"

"The Family DeGuire just gambled theirs away."  He pointed with a smile.  "He's their former one."

"That's excellent.  We don't have one here and yours can back ours up splendidly.  Plus it means we won't have to go there ourselves this year.  Do you have enough?"

"We should."  He grinned.  "Justy?"

"Tried to get the Wizengomet to say you needed a guardian and custodian.  The family's attorneys ripped him a new one and brought in witnesses saying you still had your full mental faculties.  They told Justy to go back to the Netherlands."  She beamed and he smirked back.  "You know, he'll probably die in a few years."

He nodded.  "The next time he comes here."  She nodded at that.  "Thanks, Aunt Flo."  He hung up.  "She's the head aunt at the manor for the household stuff."

The house elf nodded. "Tombstone will do that."

"Tombstone?" he asked with a small smile.

"Was a nanny and guard elf.  Charge named Tombstone.  Master can change."

"No, if you like it, it can stay," Alex said with a small smile.  "Come on, let's show you around."  He walked him around, giving him the same tour he had the girls, only pointing out who lived in what room.  Then the kitchen.  The house elf looked around and nodded.  "We've done a bit of subtle updating without destroying the old kitchen."  He looked down at him.  "Classes start at ten with the girls.  Lunch comes around one or two.  Dinner at seven most nights.  You might have to run two shifts."

"Tombstone can deal with that and bottomless pit boys."  He made shooing motions.  "Go."  Alex left, leaving him to marshal his troops.  He talked with the old ones, letting them show him where everything was for them to use, including clothes to borrow when they needed to change.  He was a generous master and the house clearly needed to run better.  He sent the three old ones to handle the library duties.  They were nearly ancient and couldn't do much more than that.  He found the recipe books and smiled at them.  Simple, good food it appeared.  They got to work on lunch, having a good sized spread by the time they trooped in from classes.  Not much went to waste with the boys being that age and leftovers were for later on anyway.

Abby stayed behind to look at them.  "Can we have something with chocolate for dinner?" she asked quietly.  "All three of us girls miss having some chocolate around to nibble on now and then."  The house elves smiled and nodded, shooing her off to classes.  They could do that.  Tombstone sent one elf out with a long shopping list but that's what they were for.

***

Alex appeared in front of the Wizengomet a few days later.  "You yelped my way?" he asked.

"Mr. Dumass, how are you feeling?"

"Cranky."

"Were we a bit of a sulky boy?" one teased.

Alex looked at him.  "Not really.  Or an overly emotional one.  A bit angsty  now and then the second time around but who could blame me really."  He looked at them then at his brother, who was also there.  "Let me guess, he still thinks I need a keeper?"  They all nodded.  "Hmm."  He looked at his brother.  "Did it look like I had lost any of my skills?"

"You fired most of your staff."

"I know I did.  One of them decided I was just a boy so I couldn't do bills or fly."  A few of them shuddered at his perfectly reasonable tone of voice.  They knew Alex's temper, they knew it was high.  A cursebreaker in a high temper inside a building often left things destroyed down to the bedrock or water table.  Then they huffed off like it had affronted them.  "I gave her clothes and sent her back to the manor house.  The others fled when they heard why.  I'm still me, Justy.  The same as I was last time."

"Last time you married a boy," he sneered.

"I'm still married to Draco, Justy.  Even if we're both too young to have sex yet."  He stepped closer.  "I'm sure you know that it's not going to be a good time for a while until I can again.  Not like I forgot those memories or urges either."

Justinius swallowed.  "I still say you're a little boy.  You need a keeper."

"Really?  Yet I kicked your ass when you tried to claim the castle.  You're not even an heir in the family, Justinius Mandrake.  You have no claim on anything in the family."

"I was claiming it for Mel."

"She can't stand the castle and the castle won't let her reside there.  The powers underneath it drive her insane.  She's been committed before.  She's committed now if I heard right."  Justinius growled.  "I'm sorry but I don't consider Mel to be a fit heir either.  After all, not like she does anything else with the family.  It's clear why she went to live with you."

"What's wrong, jealous?"

"Hell no.  I had everything the way I wanted it and needed it before you had someone toss that through the floo."  His brother's glare said he didn't do it.  "Really?  Then who did if you didn't?"

"I haven't found out yet."

"Tell me when you do so I can torture them."

"What would you know of that subject?"

Alex smirked.  "You forget, Justy.  I grew up with you.  I know what torture is.  You taught me very well and then Sunnydale taught me even more."  Justinus pulled a wand and Alex thumped him physically then pulled his own wand, pointing it at him. "The taser wasn't enough of a reason to stop this petty attempt at power grabbing?  Pity."  He opened his mouth.

"Do not cast a curse," one of the court's members ordered.

Alex looked at them.  "Why not?  It's a threat to my family.   This isn't his first try.  His first try he showed up at the castle.  This is his fourth or fifth try.  I'm tired of him trying."

"He's your older brother," another one said.

"Who tried to have me killed multiple times," he said patiently.  "Including by attempting to sacrifice me to a higher demon when he was eleven."  They all gaped.  "No, it wasn't Mel.  It was me and the newborn unicorn I was bottle raising.  He had stabbed the mother and child with the sacrificial dagger.  They saved the mother and the baby but the mother rejected the foal and I had him to hand-raise him.  Justinius killed him and nearly me that night.  That's why my parents kicked him out.  You can ask my mother if you want."

"You brought her painting?" the second member of the court asked.

"No, she's still in Vengeance."  He looked up.  "Mom?"  She appeared.  "Hi, Mom."

"Alex, love."  She kissed him on the head.

"You summon demons too?" Justinius sneered.

Alex kicked him in the head, making him pass out.  "Only this one.  After all, I used to hunt demons, dear brother of mine," he said dryly.  "He tried to take the castle again."

"He's not an heir.  He has no right to anything in the family.  Neither does my daughter Melanorma."  She looked at the court, morphing back into her human look.  "During a fight between myself and my husband the Vengeance Higher offered me a job.  I'm over Women Hurt By Men."  That got a few nods.  She grinned.  "Alex, we still have no idea who stole it."

"Then we'll go look, Mom.  Tell me where it was.  Not like I can't bring Mac and Don with me."

"Good point.  That would give us an idea of who we're going to punish."

"Me first," he said dryly, staring at her.  "Then the rest of the Banes, and then you guys."

"Yes, dear."  She kissed him on the head again.  "I do miss having you being so adorable."

"Mother!" he complained.  A few of the judges laughed at that.  "She did it to me when I was sixty too," he said dryly.  He looked at her.  Then at them.  "They need to know that I still have full adult memories and such, Mom."

"He does.  Otherwise he'd have used a minor child's hex.  As is, he was going to separate his atoms this time.  You did learn some very mean things while you were a cursebreaker, dear."

"I know but yay.  I learned a lot of good things too."  He looked at them.  "Even if he could hold the castle against me he still can't get into the storage areas.  He'd never get the artifacts to use or horde.  The castle has *always* been my house.  Since I was eleven and I moved up there most of the time.  That's how I avoided the first strain of the plague that took most of the family."   They nodded.  "As for my memories," he said, looking at one female member of the board.  "December 13th, 1964."  She blushed and coughed, nodding.  He looked at the others.  "Unfortunately I can't pull up memories like that of any of you.  I don't remember most of them by date anymore.  Draco made me forget," he said with a cheeky grin.  They all snickered at that.  "Now, are there any other challenges to what the Minister for Magic let us do in our own defense?"

"Are you working?"

"He said we had to be official adults to officially work.  As a cursebreaker, if I find a tomb I want to look at, I'll bloody well go look at it," he said dryly.  "Me and my apprentices.  The students we have right now can learn from the others."

That got a few nods and they conferred.  "We believe you are still the adult Alexander Dumass, only in a shrunken body," one announced.  "With full mental skills of an adult.  You have no need of an adult to be put in charge of you."

"Now, with all due respect, please do not bring demons into the Ministry again," another finished.

"Sorry," Alex said with a small shrug.  "Not like Justinius doesn't have hundreds stuffed in his cloak."  He walked out with his mother, looking at her.  "So, mum.  Where's this tomb and catacomb?"

She whispered in his ear, then patted down his hair.  "Be a good boy and remember to be cautious, dear.  You're pure again," she said quietly, heading off.

"Like I need reminded of that," he complained. "I was playing with the baby unicorns again."  He went to the bank to look up that area, see who had done anything near it.  A few of the goblins gave him horrified looks.  "I've got to go to where the artifact was so we can see if there's a counter or anything."  He looked at his handler.  "Gruinth."

"Alex."  He looked him over.  "You can't go like that."

"I'm going to look at the catacomb where the artifact was.  That and the map Don got for me," he said with a cheeky grin.  "Then maybe I'll play quidditch this life."  He found the books he needed and sat down in the guest chair to look it over.  "I see Hal and Arens were there once."

"Arens found the catacomb but couldn't get it open.  Hal nearly died getting there.  You're still too young to work."

"Oh, this isn't work, it's personal," Alex assured him dryly.  "Like he cleanout of Sunnydale was."  He turned the page, going to the other mention.  "Hmm.  Someone was there.  Bill's apprentice."  He showed him.  "What did he bring back?"

"I'll check.  Wait in here."  He went to do that, coming back with the list of what he had reported.  He handed it over.  "Nothing harmful."

Alex looked it over, then nodded slowly.  "That's the artifact," he said, pointing at an entry.  His mother appeared behind him to look.  "Bill's apprentice."

"Oh, dear."  She disappeared.  They'd have to work fast if they wanted the boy alive.  Alex was going to kill him.

Alex looked up.  "I'll still kill him, mum.  That's what time turners are for."  He looked at the goblin again.  "Any idea why it was sent through to us?"

"I'm sure one of you will find out.  Tell us when you do.  Until then, no working."

Alex grinned a cheeky, evil grin.  "Does that mean I can't do what Draco wants and do an inventory?"

"No, that we want, Alex.  You horde more than your fair share."  He smirked at him.  "Now go.  The accounts are all settled and as they were.  You're set to regrow up again."

"I had to get new house elves this morning because the old ones didn't want to listen.  We kept three and got nine."  He stood up.  "Thanks, Gruinth."  He headed home through the floo, waving at the others when he came out the other side.  He turned and activated the floo to call him.  "Hi, Petry."  He yanked him through and walked him up to the house.  The nature of the magic around the house meant that only his mother could get in here unless she called them.  She wasn't going to be calling an army to get this one free.  "Bill, he's the one who retrieved the little ball."  Bill looked over and glared.

"We needed more greatness!  The next generation wasn't going to be!  We have no one who can find anything but mundane tombs!" he wailed, seeing Bill's face.  He knew Bill was going to beat him to death.  Alex too.

"Oh, I get one or two good hits too," Ron assured him, taking custody of him.  The cursebreakers got him first and then the rest of the family.

The three girls looked at each other then shrugged and went back to flying practice for now.  They needed to settle with this guy and they all knew what revenge was.  The guy deserved it.  They'd be mad too if someone had taken them down to eleven from a much older, adult age.

***

Rodney McKay and John Sheppard stepped out of the transport rings, looking around the gate room.  "You'd think that some day they'd paint a big 'welcome to earth' sign or something," John joked.

"Don't tempt them," Rodney complained.   Daniel Jackson and Jack O'Neill both walked in, the younger being a clone because the original General had died a few years back.  "The daughter was having prophetic dreams," he said quietly.  "She ordered me to get away from Atlantis before I died."

Daniel nodded. "That's fine.  I've got a portkey for you both in my office, guys."  He smiled and shook John's hand.  "On vacation?"

"Yeah, I wasn't sure if he'd need backup or not.  We nearly brought Teyla but she and the auror we have up there don't get along that well.  Her people can sense them."

"Which is why she's always been wary of Abigail probably," Rodney admitted. "Can we?"

"Sure.  Want some coffee first?  You're more likely to find tea over there."

"Please," John agreed, following them out.  "So, how's things been?"

"Good.  A few new allies.  No new invasions.  You guys?"

"Decent enough," Rodney admitted.  "Why do you look older than we do?"

"Time is relative to the sun you're going around," Daniel reminded him.  "Plus that little cave thing you guys ran over that one trip."

"Oh.  True.  Our year is longer."  He shook his head and they made a stop for lunch then went to the office.  He knew it was very early in Scotland.  "Have you heard from the twins today?"

"Yesterday.  They're doing fine with their studies."

"They said we should go over and watch the next pick-up game," Jack said, smirking some.  "Apparently they all like quidditch."  He handed over coffee and sat down.  "I've met Alex a few times when he came to handle artifacts that were dangerous.  He's a nice guy.  A bit goofy, but a nice guy."

"Who's now eleven," John reminded him.  "He's having 'my baby's within dating range' thoughts."

"Ah.  Well, Alex is happily married and bound to his consort veela mate Draco.  Even if they're too young I doubt that's going to change anytime soon."  That got a small smile from John.  "But it doesn't make you feel better, does it?"

"No.  Frankly I'm quite worried about their curriculum.  Magical math is sounding a bit like a wrong-thinking math to me."

"You can see later on," Daniel said, activating the mirror.  He smiled at the sleepy, reading person on the other side.  "Don?"  Don's head popped up.  "Abby's parents are here with us."

"Send them to the manor with the portkey and then we'll pick 'em up in a few hours.  Alex and the girls aren't up yet.  Classes don't start until ten."  He turned off the mirror and went back to his reading.

"Ten?" Rodney asked.

"They've got a pretty loose class schedule," Daniel told them.  "Not that they haven't gotten through the first six months of lessons in everything but Potions already but they're doing fine."

"Why not Potions?"

"Draco's been having some problems in the lab.  A few of the group have been sick with childhood diseases and things.  One of them had a good case of chicken pox last week.  He's been taking care of that instead."  That got a single nod.  "They're not behind in there.  They're on target with the others.  There's a few others there who can teach basic Potions but Draco's a master in his own right so he can teach the higher ones."

"I see."  Rodney grimaced.  "I'd rather head over now."

"Sure."  He found the portkey and handed it over.  "Get up, otherwise the chairs will go with you and I'll have to fill out requisition forms."  They stood in a clear spot, bags in hand, touching the portkey.  Jack set it off with a flip of the key on it and they left.  Daniel looked at Jack.  "Think they'll like Alex?"

"I think McKay is going to be driven nuts by Alex and his ways.  Sheppard might fit in well though."  He shrugged. "How did his daughter become a witch?"

"I'm thinking it was something Loki did."  He shrugged. "How did my grandkids?"

"That artifact they touched turned it on," he reminded him.

"Oh yeah.  You know, I should probably email Blair soon.  I'm sure he was messed up in that." Jack smirked, walking off shaking his head.  Sandburg had to be there.  The same as if Daniel had been there, he knew he would've been ten years old again too.  It was how they were.

***

Alex looked up as the two men appeared in the kitchen with a house elf.  "Hi.  Tea?"  He held up the pot.  "Tea?"  More tea was made and brought over, including cups.  "Sit.  Girls not up yet."

"Too early for you?" John teased, sitting down and taking some tea.

Alex grunted and nodded.  "Yup."

"You look familiar," Rodney said, staring at him.

Alex looked at him. "The last time this happened to me I had to regrow up in Sunnydale.  I helped take down the Initiative."

"Ah, that's where I saw your dossier.  From that group of idiots."  He sat down.  "The girls aren't up yet?"

"Trembly?" he called.  "Girls up yet?"

"Showering, Master Alex sir," he reported cheerfully.  "Trembly will tell girls fathers are here."  He went to do that.

Alex smiled, sipping his tea.  "Dig in.  It's breakfast here.  Lunch isn't until one."  Don bounced in and put a book in front of him, letting him look where he pointed.  "That would be a cool spot to find," he agreed, grinning at him.  "Has anyone else?"

"It's on the mythical list."  He beamed at the new guys. "Hey."  He looked at Alex.  "So can we?"

"If we can find a more concrete mention."

"Thanks."  He went to do that.

"I'd like to look at this arithmancy stuff," Rodney said firmly.

Alex looked at him then shrugged.  "Okay.  The library's up the hall, to the right.  The girls can show you later."  The three girls all ran in and John got hugs.  He was generally well liked by everyone.  Abby squeezed her father tight enough to make him have trouble breathing.  "Easy on him, girls.  They can stay for a while."  He finished his tea and breakfast, getting up.  "Classes start in an hour.  You have what this morning?"

"Draco said double potions then flying," Abby told him, smiling at her father. "It's like chemistry only with biological ingredients."  She gave him another hug.  "I missed you.  This is the first time I've been away from home."  She sat down and dug in. "Thank you."

"Missus is welcome," Tombstone assured her, adding more food to the table.  "Master Draco sir is not up yet, Master Alex sir."

"I'll get him up," he promised, leaving the girls to talk to their relatives.

"We get an hour for lunch so we can show you around then," Abby promised, taking her father's hand to hold.  "I have missed you.  No one's that grumpy around here.  Not even Professor Methos when he showed up."  That got a snicker from TM.  "He wasn't."

"No, no one's as grumpy as your dad," she agreed.  She smiled at John.  Then pointed at the house elves.  "They were made by the Elders."

"Wow."  He looked at the nearest one.  "Has anyone talked to you guys about what you remember?"

"What one house elf knows all know eventually," he assured him.  "There is time."

"Can we get one of you to Atlantis?" Abby asked.

Tombstone looked at her.  "Under water?"

"No, we've raised it," Rodney said.  "It's in the other location."

Tombstone shrugged.  "Would have to pick carefully.  Dogmen's ring scares most house elfs.  Dogmen were bad and evil when they came to snatch our masters.  That's why we created by Elders.  So they know when Dogmen come."  He went back to his duties.   The two adults were gaping.

MJ giggled at that.  "Also, we've found some mentions in the library, Uncle Rodney.  There's a whole section of Knowledge of the Ancients."

"Our ancients?"

"We don't know," Abby admitted.  "We can't get into it until we've passed our second year classes.  Some of it's highly theoretical and some of it's actually now forbidden for the normal person to have.  Fortunately Alex isn't quite the normal person.  He told us when he finds books or scrolls in tombs he has them copied in their original language and then a copy made that's translated into English."  That got a gape.  "We have *three* huge libraries here and the one at the manor if we need to go there.  Plus we can use the school's but it's not got much in the way of stuff we did with you guys."

John nodded.  "We'll have to look at that.  After we hang out with you three for awhile."  They all beamed and ate breakfast, then drug them to their classes.  Their bags disappeared but that was fine.  Rodney got coffee whenever he wanted. Sugar too.   They apparently knew about coffee drinkers with caffeine habits.  Potions was boring to him but Rodney was going over why things happened with Draco in great detail.  Down to the chemical reactions and why this one worked on muggles and that one didn't.  Abby proved it because one of her first ones was a healing potion that would work on muggles too.  She stabbed both their fingers to show him, making him get a bit loud but he was like that, even after it healed.  Then they went outside to fly.  John watched, gaping at how good they were.  "I want to try that."

Danny looked over at him and grinned.  "You know, Alex might've made brooms that'll work on normal people.  Not real sure.  Alex?"  He came down and looked at them.  "Brooms that'll work with the Colonel since he's a pilot?"

"Second closet."  He summoned it and growled when it wouldn't come.  He broke the lock spells the house elves used and summoned one then his usual broom instead of the borrowed one, handing that one back.  He dropped the first one next to John.  "Say up."

He held out a hand.  "Up."  It flew into it, earning a smile.  "Now what?"

"Mount, grip with your knees."  He did that.  "Now, hover.  Push off gently."  He did that and smirked.  "Now, you *turn* you do not *shift*.  Or else you roll.  Think motorcycle, not joystick."  He floated up and John followed, getting into it pretty quickly.  Even though he did roll a few times.  The girls laughed at it and he tossed him the quaffle.  "There you go.  Let's play a bit of a chasing game, girls."  They chased John and John passed off to one, letting them chase her for a bit.  It was a good skill building exercise.

"Great, now he'll be wanting to bring one home," Rodney muttered, walking off to sit in some shade.  He didn't need a sunburn; even with the weak sun up here it was possible.  His daughter did look good however.  Very poised.  Very careful.  "Must get that from her mother.  I think I'd rather have my feet firmly on some ground than over a tiny broomstick," he told himself.   A few others raced up there and one of them stole the quaffle with a laugh.  MJ scowled and chased after him and the game got faster and harder.  The new ones were clearly the former adults and had experience.  He winced when his daughter wobbled but she corrected and managed to steal it back.  He smiled.  "We are a sneaky family."

Harry sat next to him.  "Don't worry.  There's enough of them out there that could catch her even if she does fall.  She hasn't yet though.  I did by then and I'm an excellent flier."  He looked at him.  "Hi, Harry Potter."

"We've met.  Doctor Rodney McKay."

"She told us.  She brags about you."  He preened at that.  Harry figured that he was a lot like an earlier Draco at times so he went back to watching, shaking his head.  "The light brunette is Tony DiNozzo.  He's Alex's son.  They found out when Tony was thirty- something.  The dark-haired one is Speed.  They and Danny," he said, pointing at him, "have been friends since their first bout of school.  They used to be CSI types."

"CSI types?"

"I know Tony was a Fed from NCIS when we met him.  Danny and Speed were both CSIs with their labs.  One in New York and one in Miami."  He smiled and pointed.  "That's Horatio Caine. He's Speed's lover.  Eric's around here somewhere too.  The one with Horatio is Stella, she's from the same lab Danny was in and one of his."

"Are all wizards this promiscuous?" he demanded.

Harry laughed.  "No.  Alex was until he married Draco.  I have my Abby.  We'll be celebrating our thirty-third wedding anniversary this year."  He gave him a gentle smile.  "It's only those three really.  You'll find the British wizards are very Victorian, even to this day.  Still wear a lot of the clothes too.  The American ones can be a bit less uptight, even if they were trained over here.  Danny, Speed, and Tony trained in New York.  Horatio too.  Mac trained in Chicago.  Stella and Don Flack got missed so Alex trained them with the rest of the group."  Everyone landed, laughing and happy.  "There she is.  Go get her, take her to lunch then on a tour."  He nodded, getting up and dusting off so he could do that.  Harry shook his head.  Mac sat down next to him. "He's a lot like a younger Draco.  Back when he was all Malfoy.  Only no pureblood rants."

"I'll remember that."  He clapped him on the back.  "When's the pick-up game?"

"Tomorrow afternoon."  He smirked at him. "We might win this time."

"Doubt it," Alex called with a wicked smirk.  He looked at his students.  "We're having a pick-up game tomorrow afternoon."  They all beamed at that.  "Okay, lunch, do whatever this afternoon.  Greg will be back tonight so you can show him whatever homework he assigned."  They ran inside, taking the adults with them.  He walked over to where Tony and Speed were chatting. "Harry thinks they might win tomorrow."

They both burst out in evil cackles.  "I'm sure they'd like that," Speed said evilly, smirking at Tony.  "We should go over plots and plans."

"We should, soulmate o'mine."  He walked him inside talking about strategy during a game.  Speed was still a bit wobbly on his broom but everyone else on their team was back up to par.  Speed needed to finish healing his ear infection then he'd be perfect again.

Abby looked at her uncle and father.  "Ignore them.  They get into evil quidditch talks now and then."  She took their arms, going to get them lunch to go so she could walk around with them.  Including showing them the entrance to one of the caves.  "We snuck in there when we were bored once.  The anti-theft charms got us.  We spent all night in a cage hanging above a few pinching statues."  She smiled at her uncle.  "Alex is very cool.  Dawn's very hip.  We're learning a lot more than the other kids are."  She led them back to the libraries last, coming in through the cursebreaker's one.  "This is the work library for the cursebreakers.  Things they'd need in the field, things they'd need to look up, that stuff."  She led them on.  "This is the secondary library."  Her father stared and gaped.  She grinned at him.  "You use the card catalog, Dad.  You put the card on the blue pad and it comes down.  When you're done it gets shelved from the carts."  She led him into the primary library. "This is the original library.  Between the second and third floor is the restricted area.  We probably won't be able to get into that at all."  She led him over to the card catalog, showing him the drawers.  "See, Ancient's Knowledge."

"I wanted to this arithmancy as well," he said, looking distracted as he opened the drawer.  She went to get her beginning book for him.  He frowned when he found where she was, then looked at her.  "That's not correct."

"Alex said it's not the same as muggle math because we have to deal with multi-faceted math.  Like multiple planes of thought in the same formula."

Alex walked in and grabbed a book he had used, handing it over.  "We use arithmancy for spell creation.  That's where it's ultimately heading.  I'm sure you've probably seen that one since it came from Oxford's College of Magic."  He walked off again, sipping his tea.

He flipped it to the beginning, glaring at it.  "This is multi-dimension hopping!"

Abby beamed and nodded.  "Yup, it is."  He glared at her.  "I'm not going to learn that unless I want to but Tony told us that Xander solved a bank heist with everyone here's help because they were slipping time and realms to rob Gringotts."  She got him another book.  "See, that's the old book.  It explains how you add in the other facets, Dad."  She got him another book and got it down for him.  "Also, here, what MJ and I were looking at.  TM is looking at the language stuff.  She said they have a language they call Thinial that's an offshoot of Asgard.  That's how Alex and Uncle Danny met."

Rodney brought the books over to the table to look them over.  Like most textbooks, the old one didn't dumb things down for the students.  It went into reasons behind why you were doing things.  He could see where they were coming from and why...almost.  It was still odd to his muggle mathematical mind.  But he could understand it and why those particular formulas were put in.  He kept working his way through that book, finding the complexities satisfying for a beginning level.  Using that he went back to the advanced book, going into that formula.  What he came up with was basically what they had found in one of the Ancient's machines.  He looked up.  "I need to talk to him."

"He's probably in his study cuddling with his Draco snuggly," TM said from across the table with a small grin.  "Even though they're deaged they still say they're married.  Even if they can't do anything yet."

"Yes, yes.  All good.  Which way?"

"Two doors toward the kitchen, same side of the hall," she said.  She smiled.  "We have Runes after lunch today and then free time.  You guys can take Abby and do whatever you want to do."

"Thank you."  He got up and headed that way, walking in without knocking.  Xander looked over from whispering in Draco's ear, or at least he hoped it was Draco.  "This formula," he said, tapping it once it was in front of him.  "We have machines that do that.  What do your people know about the Ancients who built the stargate?"

"We know about the guys in the dog armor who came down to take us hostage," he said bluntly, grinning a bit.  "Some got captured but they managed to free themselves.  We know that the house elves were started by someone older than our kind to tell them when the dog armor people came.  We know that there's a whole planet of our people somewhere in space but they're isolated so they don't have to deal with another invasion.  Tonks said she talked to them.  They were fairly nice.  My ancestor has a good tomb there, but nothing too flashy.  When asked they said they didn't want to come back.  They had their own society and it was good for them.  They have said they'd talk about it if any of us wanted to join them for safety reasons because she explained how we've hidden ourselves for so long."  That got a single nod and the guy was still staring at him.  "Earlier than that?"  He gave Draco a nudge, getting a sigh of displeasure.  "I'll cuddle after Runes.  I gave the girls the afternoon off."  He walked him back into the library, pulling down a few books.  "This is stuff I've found that mentions pre-Atlantean times."  He pointed at a section.  "That's Atlantean times.  Ours, I'm not sure if it's the same as yours.  Professor Armwrench wasn't sure either."

"Historian?"

Alex grinned.  "Over cursebreakers.  We're all pledged to Loki when we take our vows."  Rodney gave him a horrified look.  "Natural cursebreakers all find trouble.  We channel that to go on digs like your anthropologists do, Doctor McKay.  I've spent decades getting to tombs before your people do so they're safe for you.  That protects both our peoples."  He pulled down another book.  "This one no one could translate.  Even the more math oriented people.  I'm good at arithmancy and magical math, the higher levels," he said at the confused look.  "My focus is on making new spells with it.  I can do theoretical things but that's not my area.  I've taken it to a few of ours but they couldn't figure it out either.  It deals with issues they're not comfortable with.  In case you hadn't noticed, a lot of the wizarding world is run by the last of the Victorians at the moment."  He pulled down another book.  "Here, this is a language book I found about six years ago.  I did copy it and send it to Doctor Jackson because I thought it might be some of his.  He sent me chocolate, roses, and said he was going to Iran to dig; he'd call if he ran into more magical things."  He shrugged and handed it over.  "The restricted section has other ones but they're single topic.  So let us know what, specifically, you want to see if we have and I'll see if I have it.  I have a bigger library than anywhere else in the wizarding world because of what I used to do."

"She said you copied every book you ran into."

Alex nodded with a smug look.  "I love library jobs.  There's a whole section of scrolls that were stolen from the Alexandria Library by someone and were found in his tomb."  He pointed.  "Danny spent six months here copying information down.  Those are later than that and I've shared whatever I thought he might be able to use since then."

"Thank you.  Um... rules?"

"No getting the books dirty.  You can eat, drink, whatever, but the books stay here and no getting stuff on them."

That got a smirk.  "Fairly normal rules then.  Paper?"

"Use a computer.  The secondary library and the cursebreaker library both have electric running to them and the cursebreaker library has an actual dataport so I can do my email.  It's from when Harry was courting Abby."  He shrugged and walked off.  "Start there, then come see me if you want more."

"Thank you."  He went to the third library since it was quieter, then ran to get his laptop from his bag.  He had to get help up to the living quarters but Blair only grinned and let him up there.  He had heard of him of course, who hadn't, but it was nice he hadn't said anything.  They could have a lot of information his project needed.

His daughter came in an hour later.  "Should I go study, Dad?" she asked quietly.

He looked at her. "Give me an hour and we'll go out to dinner?"  She beamed and nodded.  "Good.  Come get me.  Be annoying if you have to.  This came from Atlantis when it was down here."

She kissed him on the cheek.  "Remember, you can read all night, Dad.  I have classes tomorrow morning and then the pick-up game tomorrow afternoon."

"Flying is your PE?" he asked.

She beamed and nodded.  "Plus stress relief.  Think I could bring my broom back home when I come for a visit?  No one would say anything, just think it was another Ancient's device."

"I'll ask for you."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "Give me an hour.  Go get pretty."  She nodded, going to do that.  He went back to his research until John came in an hour later.  "It's from Atlantis itself.  Alex found it in a tomb."

"Anything we can use?"

"Quite a lot.  It's a botanist's journal."  He looked at him.  "I need to scan this in."

"I'll do it.  Go have dinner with your daughter.  The books will still be here tomorrow.  She'll never be this happy to see you again."

"Good point."  He went to change and let someone send them to London.  They had a portkey for when they came back and it would be fine.

John looked at the book, then at the computer.  "Of course he forgot the scanner."  He went to ask Alex.  "He wanted to scan a few of the books for our use, do we have one I can borrow?"

Alex pointed at the bag on the couch across from his desk.  "That's from Abby.  She used to be the techno geek at NCIS, DC."  He grinned at him.  "They're gone?"

"Dinner."

"She's been a bit  homesick but she's done good so far."

"We'll try to get her home for the summer vacation."

"Not like I keep a hard schedule, Colonel."  He went back to his reading.  "Close the door or else the grandkids will pounce me."

"Sure."  He went back to hook up the portable scanner and get to work for him.  He had no idea how many books they were going to be scanning to send to themselves.

***

Rodney walked back onto the base in Colorado two weeks later and flopped down in Daniel's guest chair.  "I bring home nearly eighty books Alex has found that might be of help to both of us.  Would you like a copy of the Ancient's journals he found?"  Danny spluttered.  "He found a few in a few tombs and he thinks he might have a few more places to look.  He's not sure but he said he's not allowed to technically work at the moment.  So he can only go cursebreaking for fun and personal profit."  He opened his briefcase.  "I had to buy an extra removable hard drive but I'll let you copy off them."

"What did we find?"

"Some botanist's journals. A few language texts I'm not sure if you have or not.  Some of the higher arithmancy and magical math concepts are what I've been working with, only with the extra magical dimensions.  I can strip the formulas of those components and use them.  Or possibly not since Alex had one of those singing, glowing balls in his case and it was working when Draco touched it.  We think all veelas might be ATA carriers."  That got a small moan.  "But do copy.  I'm not going to be greedy this time."  Daniel pulled over his own laptop to hook the hard drives to and copy off them.  "There's at least another six thousand books there that we might have to look at to see if they hold something."

"Alex has millions of books," Daniel told him dryly.  "I've found mentions of artifacts.  I've found mythology.  Did you meet Professor Armwrench?"

"No.  Why?"

"I'm sure you will some day soon."  He looked up.  "Professor!"  He appeared, looking displeased.  "This is Doctor McKay.  His daughter is studying with my grandchildren."

"You can ...do whatever to get in here?" McKay asked.

He looked at him then leaned down.  "I'm Loki, boy.  I can do whatever I damn well please."  Then he smirked.  "Did my other self give you the child?"  He shuddered and nodded.  "Well, he was always a bit odd.  Thankfully he made her one of mine."  He straightened up.  "She'll be learning things that'll help her in her field duties.  Alex is very well trained and Mac Taylor is former military.  They can get her ready to take part in the project when she comes back."

"I'd like her to go to college."

"You can teach her whatever she needs to know and by the time Alex is done with her she'll be doing Doctorate level work," he said with a small shrug.  "She can test out of most of it.  We have our arrangements.  We'll send her to Oxford to make sure she can come on as a fully accredited member.  That way you can protect her."  He looked at the copying information then shrugged.  "I'm surprised he hasn't wanted to go searching in the underwater areas down here.  Bill thought about it once but he didn't want to dive that far down."  He looked at McKay again, getting gaped at.  "Someone should.  It's only rotting down there and giving me a dreadful headache.  Not to mention that it keeps waking them up."  He disappeared again.

Daniel handed over a new mug of coffee.  "Here, you might need that."  He went back to copying.  "All cursebreakers are pledged to Loki.  Then again, Alex took me to a tomb once that had a sleeping God in it and told me I was not allowed back there."  He gave him a look.  "Cursebreakers get into trouble.  The higher they are and the better they are, the more trouble they get into."

"So, Alex is the highest of the high?"  Daniel smirked and nodded.  "You?"

"Jack and I would've made a fantastic cursebreaking team if we had magic."

"Don't even joke about that!" Jack yelled from up the hall.  He came in.  "Come back with more books?"

"Including some of their math formulas that are partially what I'm working on," he agreed.  "I'm letting him copy off that information.  He comes here routinely?"

"No, he likes Jack," Daniel said with a grin.  "It's the whole 'his other self made him' thing.  He feels like an uncle to him."

"Aww, damn it, he was here?"  Daniel nodded.  "At least he didn't hit on me this time."  He walked off shaking his head.  "Sam, McKay brought back information.  Danny's copying it."  She went to look it over, taking copies for herself.  Then she went to hide from Doctor McKay.  She didn't like him that much.  He used to stare at her and hit on her.

Daniel looked at him.  "I'll go over this.  If there's anyplace that's a dig or something like that, I'll go personally."

"Are you sure you're able at your age?" he asked.

Danny gave him a smirk.  "I'm fine, McKay.  Whatever I find that's for you guys I'll send over."

"That'll work for us," Sheppard said from the doorway.  "Would it be unethical to kidnap a house elf?"

"They said if we could find one that'd go through the gate we could have one," Danny told him.

"We found one, we have to get permission," Sheppard told him.

"Landry's in the office probably."

"Thanks."  He went to hand over his new report to the program's general, getting his salute waved off.  "Sir.  We need permission to import something that the Ancients made."

"What?"

"A house elf."

Landry moaned, shaking his head.  "I've heard."  He looked over the report.  "Do we have one that'll go?  We had one who said he would before and he freaked out."

"We're not gating, sir.  We're flying."

"Good point.  Would he?"  John nodded.  "You're sure?"

"He said so.  Also, what about that planet with the other wizards?"

"They're decent sorts.  They don't want to deal with us but we have a mutual aid pact.  Why?"

"I was thinking that we could ask someone like Mr. Dumass to send them books and things if they wanted to compare what they had versus what the ones down here had for technology."

"I can have our auror ask them," he agreed.  "Is the mirror thingy that Doctor Jackson has working for you?"

"Doctor McKay carries it back and forth to his room so he never misses a call," he agreed happily.  "If he's off-world, Radek does it for him."

"That's fine then.  Did he find anything?"

"He found a lot of books and possibly some other things. You'd have to ask him to babble at you, sir.  Even his daughter asked him to slow down his explanation, she couldn't think that fast."  The general laughed.  "He's in with Doctor Jackson."

"I'll go down there.  Gather the house elf."

"Thank you, sir."  He went to get him from the hotel, bringing him back to meet Rodney.  The administrators on Atlantis would freak, but oh well!  It was useful and good for them in all meanings of the word.  Since he could also sneak in some new treats and that broom Alex had given him, it was going to be good for him.  He loved to fly.

***

Alex looked at the girls a few weeks later, seeing the disappointed looks.  "It's not my fault and it's not your fault either," he reminded them.  "Your grandfather is going to a dig site for the holidays.  Hers is back in another galaxy, insert bad Star Wars joke here."  Abby grinned a bit at that.  "You know if he works much harder he might find the Force and then be freaked that it's magic."  He sat down.  "It's not your faults, ladies.  All you can do is pounce them when you see them next time.  I'm sure it'll be relatively soon."  He saw Speed, Danny, and Tony walk past the door.  "What are you three doing?" he called.

"Going to New York's school for a book," Speed said with an innocent grin.  He was the best at them of the three of them.  "We put it off for a bit."

"Just don't make it fall in or anything.   Horatio went to scare his nephew earlier."  He waved a hand and got back to his students. "Yeah, it sucks.  It has sucked.  Even if you were with them on base it'd still suck."  They all nodded, sighing a bit.  "Now, let's get this festival of suckage over with so you can learn faster and then get back to the bases where you belong."

"We need specific college degrees," Abby complained.

Alex smirked.  "Did you think we didn't have magical colleges?"  She gaped.  "Including one at Oxford, Cambridge, and Yale, dear.  I'm going to be getting you through a very high level and you can go from there."  She beamed at that.  "The same as the twins can take their stuff, go through them and get a normal degree, probably within a year or so of graduating from my academy.  Okay?"  They all nodded.  "That gets you back there by the time you're eighteen if you work your asses off and take your NEWTs a year early."  They all nodded and went to get their homework.  "I know you have transfiguration but the teacher just walked out the door," he called after them.  "Get your field stuff.  We'll go do sensing lessons in the snow."  They went to get their cloaks and gloves for that.  He got them all cocoa and took them outside to teach them how to sense the earth around them.  If magic worked, this would be invaluable wherever they went.  Abby could probably even pull it off without magic being very strong wherever she went.  He sat down across from them after creating a warming circle above the snow.  "Okay.  What we're doing is sensing the power of the earth around us."

Ron leaned out of the cursebreaker's library.  "Like I had you doing on the rock samples," he called, then he pulled back inside and shut the door.  The castle didn't have central heat and the libraries got cold.

"Sure," Alex agreed.  "We'll start with that.  I teach this lesson up here because the power is pure.  It's very pure and very natural."  He sipped his cocoa.  "Let's drop into that semi- trance state.  Later on I'll teach you how to do it on the run."  They nodded and put themselves in the proper frame of mind.  He could feel when each one of them got it.  "Abby, the higher ones you're hitting are air currents," he said quietly.  She nodded and he could feel her blocking it out.

MJ pointed behind her.  "What's that way, about ten degrees behind my right ear and back about ten thousand feet?"

He looked, calculating it.  "Oh, the family tomb and a few of the really nastiest things."  He sipped his cocoa again.  "Ignore any relatives you might be sensing, girls."  They nodded and did that.  His Aunt Allisandra floated over, giving him a curious look.  "I'm training three new cursebreakers."

"Dear, aren't you...older?" she asked gently.

"I was and then someone deaged me the first time and then this time we think it was Justinus and the cursebreaker who stole the artifact that did it.  Mother was not amused."

She sighed and shook her head.  "It's proof that you're one of the best ever, dear."

"I know.  Hell, look at the catacombs."

"I'd rather not."

He shrugged.  "Sorry.  Draco nags too," he said with a sweet grin.

She floated off shaking her head.  "Try to get rid of some of the things that might taint the valley, Alex.  You should know better by now.  That one vase is annoying even us."

"Yes, Auntie."  He looked at the curious girls.  "My great aunt Allisandra.  My grandmother's sister.  She was one of the first cursebreakers and she trained me when I was a little kid running around here playing with things I shouldn't."  He grinned.  "Get back to it.  This is the first step in sensing artifacts as well, ladies."  They nodded and dropped back into that frame of mind.  "Now, like MJ and Abby are doing, TM,  you should be able to feel different types of magic."

"I can.  It feels like a woven thing.  All the colors and textures and things.  It's not a picture, fairly abstract, but it's got color blocks almost."

"That's because I always tried to sort out the catacombs into types of dangerous."  They gaped.  He grinned.  "I've kept the world from ending many a time.  Think you can handle that when you're holding it in your hands?"  They all nodded so he took them out to one of the lesser catacombs, letting them hold some actual artifacts.  "What's on those?"

MJ wiped her hand, grimacing.  "It feels like smut."

He looked then nodded.  "It's a fertility spell."  She put it down carefully.  "You felt that waiting to pounce feeling?"  They all nodded.  "Well, that's because it's an unactivated curse.  If I had activated it you'd be feeling it move up from where your hand touched."  That got a nod and she picked it back up to go over it again.  He looked around and sighed.  If his aunt had ordered, he had to do something about the catacombs.  He looked at them.  "Don't touch anything else until I get back."  He went to find Don.  "Aunt Allisandra wanted some of the worst things out of the valley."

"Thank you, Aunt Allisandra!  I knew there was *one* smart person in this family!" Draco shouted from another room.

Alex looked that way then sent a pinching hex at his husband, earning a laugh from Don.  "So maybe we should clean out the catacombs?"

"I guess.  Do we know what everything is?"

"Not even close," Alex admitted grimly.  "There's stuff still out there from her, Don.  Not to mention my exploits.  Your cavern, Ron's cavern with Harry...  Their cavern together with Abby for that one tomb."  He shrugged.  "I guess we'd have to hold another auction too."

"Ooh, pretty clothes?" Abby asked, looking over Harry's shoulder from where they were reading together.

"Yes, very pretty dress robes and yes you can help Dawn and the girls," he said, nodding.  Don went to get Harry and Ron so they could start on things out there.  Little Abby knew what things her friends and family would need to look at if they ran into something.  He'd put that aside for them.  It went well with the other lessons they were doing.  Because Alex taught shielding first and then hexes.  And after that he taught dueling.  The girls were going to be kick-ass witches when they were done with them.

***

Alex saw the goblin come out of the floo port and waved at him to come that way.  He caught a pony ride and came trotting over. "What's up?"

"Their grandfather activated a magical tomb," he said, handing over the request.  "They need support.  You're still not officially working but you are the only expert."

Alex nodded.  "Yup, sure am.  That's fine.  Oh, we're having an auction in a few months.  Aunt Allisandra said so.  Probably right before they go home for the summer."

That got a displeased grunt.  "If we must."  He took the pony back to the floo and went back to the bank.

Alex looked at the notes then shrugged. "It's not a bad area."  All three girls gave him begging looks. "There's no way you're ready for a field situation.  This time next year maybe."  They all pouted.  "This fall, Don, Ron, Harry, and I are going to start taking you to cleared ones so you can figure out what went on.  For right now, you're staying here.  I'll bring him back for a few days if I can."  They all nodded and got back to work under Don and Ron's careful watch.  Alex went to pack, finding Draco putting up laundry.  "Good thing you did that.  Danny Jackson just activated the magical bounds around a tomb."  He stole a kiss, grabbed his old pack and clothes, then went to get the rest of his supplies.  He walked out, sending himself there.  It was a fairly clear field.   It was in Ireland.  "Interesting."  He shrugged and headed to where the tomb was, tapping on the walls.  "Cursebreaker Dumass," he said into the stone, whispering it so the magical wards could test him.  He walked down there, looking at the trapped men.  "Hi, Danny.  Stay."

"Can't move, Alex," he muttered.  "How did you know?"

"This one is fairly well watched, Jackson.  It's one of the places Merlin hid stuff."  He moved over to remove the charms around them, freeing everyone but one guy.  "I can't free him.  He's a danger to us," he told Jackson.  He wiped his mind and banished him to the nearest village.  "Sorry but we know of his family.  They'd like to kill us all."

"He thinks Merlin was an alien," Danny offered.

"Doesn't matter.  There's clear cut rules about him.  The same as when *you* run into magical problems they call me now."  He grinned.  "The girls are all pouting because they can't go with you."  He looked around.  "What're you looking for?"

"Have you guys removed any weapons or books from here?"

Alex gave him an odd look.  "Probably.  We have a set of higher cursebreakers who only deal with the really dangerous things.  This was a storage area so they're the ones who put the wards up to protect it.  As for things we removed?  If it was machine-like, it's in the bank.  If it's books it's in the library somewhere.  Although my fellow cursebreakers are stupid.  Clear the chamber please?" he announced.  They left and he walked Danny over to a wall, tapping a spot.  "That is not magical.  That is a keypad."

Danny looked then tapped in the codes he knew.  "Probably needs the ATA gene," he muttered.  "Jack!"  He came trotting back down. "Keypad."

Jack grumbled but came over to try the codes he knew.  A small beam came out and scanned him so he put in his ID number from the military.  That got it open and he looked inside.  "Empty?"

"Cloaked," Alex told him, walking in to undo the cloaking spells.  He felt the magic wrap around him.  "I'm Cursebreaker Dumass, I work with them.  I know about what Merlin really was," he whispered, casting the counter.  It nearly blew him back.  He groaned, holding his stomach.  "I hate those."  He snapped out two spells quickly then ducked and did a third from the dirt floor.  The shields around the machine shattered.  "Don't," he ordered when Danny tried to come in.  He moved closer.  "There's still one up."

"It's usually technological and will go down for Jack."  He let Jack go in while he watched, nearly biting his bottom lip in worry.  That hadn't looked good earlier.

Alex laid a hand on the shields then sighed, laying his other hand and wand on it.  He muttered into it, wincing as it burned into his hands.  It got blood and it tested him then went down.  He bowed to it.  "Grandfather would not be happy this was still here.  He hated that his contemporary and friend did these things."  He backed up.  "This is Jack, the one in the door is Danny.  They fight the dog armor things with snakes in them."  The machine went to standby.  He looked at Jack.  "It uses both."

"You need medical attention."

"No I don't.  I'll heal."  He took a healing potion from his pack and looked at it, then shrugged and looked at the console.  He flipped it on and looked at the words running across it.  "Hmm.  In Creation as the house elves called it."

"Thinial?" Danny asked, coming in to look.  "Can we back it up?"

"I'm assuming that's why there's arrow keys," he said, doing that for him.  They both read it and then grinned at each other.  "Carrot gun," they said in unison.

"Huh?" Jack asked, looking very confused.

"Remember the book that we decoded with him?" Danny asked.

"Barely.  Why?"

"In it were some strange symbols.  They were food based but with weapon connotations."  Jack shrugged.  "It's never done, Jack.  Just trust me there.  It's a long lecture if you don't want to hear it."

"I'd rather not."

"See, this is organic based," Alex told him. "It's got an organic power source, magic.  Noticeably magic that's earth based, like we use." Jack nodded faster at that.  "What it does is it changes the molecular composition of something to make it explode."

"So it turns carrots into bombs?" Jack asked.  Danny nodded. "Using magic and machinery together?"  Danny nodded again and smiled.  "Can we use it?"

"Maybe.  If not, it's better it's not here."  He looked at Alex.  "We should talk to your people."

"Probably.  If there's more like this I'd want them out of Britain before someone stupid finds them.  Someone stupid once found one of Merlin's power storage wands.  Destroyed a good bit of the island he was on."

"Is it underwater?"

"Yeah," Alex said, nodding a bit.  "About ten miles off the coast.  Freezing cold water too."  Jack grimaced.  "There's underwater archeology teams that do just that stuff, Jack.  I can barely scuba dive."  He looked at Danny, then around.  "If we need a conference, I've got most of what we need at the castle.  Coming?"

"After we get this sent off."

"Gladly."  He did the camp moving spell. "Your office?"

"Bit crowded."  He logged into his laptop, which had a satellite feed.  "Here, put it here, Alex."  Alex looked then concentrated on putting that image into the camp moving spell, sending it off.  "That's handy."

"Very.  I can move a whole lot of crap that way, or a dragon."  He grinned.  "The girls were trying to convince Keelian he wanted to give up an unholy vase he was napping on earlier.  Didn't work but they tried for about three hours while spoiling him by petting him."  He grinned and walked off, hitting the proper areas to bring one of the Specialist cursebreakers who were assigned to these things.  He pointed.  "There's technology in there too."  He shook his head.  Alex took him down to show him.  "That is a keypad.  That is technology.  How many others have them since Merlin played with machines he shouldn't?"

"How would you know and who are you?"

"Alexander Dumass.  Before you ask, Bill's apprentice was an idiot and did the deaging thing.  He thought there wouldn't be any higher level cursebreakers if he didn't."  He groaned.  "This one answered to me because my ancestor and Merlin were tea drinking and fuck buddies."  Everyone gaped at him.  "He said it, not me.  It's in his journal."  He looked at him again.  "We're going to need to have the records of all the Merlin sites.  Especially those with those sort of things."  That got a nod and a grimace, plus a pointed look at them.  "They've been dealing with Ancient technology recently.  The older guy is Danny Jackson.  I'm teaching his granddaughters, who're cursebreakers."  That got a whimper.  "The bank knows.  They know about Danny too.  Go tell Gruinth or someone that this is going on.  Tell them we're having a conference at the castle.  We need it tonight."  That got a nod and he apparated off.  Alex looked around, finding a few more areas.  "More keypads."  Jack shrugged and tapped his ID into them, opening them.  Empty rooms mostly but they could see if the bank had gotten them open somehow.

"Your grandfather...."

"Was as horny as I was the first go-round," Alex said dryly.  "That's why Draco misses not being able to sit.  Come on, let's hit the castle."  He brought them up, watching the wary military people.  "We know what happened to the other things."

"Stand down," Jack told them.  "Don't terrorize the natives.  They're probably relatives of some of us.  He thinks he knows where the other things went so we're going to talk to him.  We'll be back tomorrow."

"The rest of us should know too," one of the lesser archeologists complained. "And who is that one?"

"That one is the one that let us into the keypad," Danny said.  "I've worked with Alex before. This is his area.  Just shut up for now.  We'll tell you what we can tomorrow.  Some of this is even more classified than the program we work on."  He stared her down until she stomped off.  "Thank you!"  He and Jack got into the circle Alex was creating and they disappeared.

"No bloody way," she said, staring at the empty spot.  "He's an ancient?"

"Or something.  He had a wand," one of the military guys said.  He shrugged.  "We'll have to see.  Do we bunk here?" he asked the second-in-command.

"No, let's head back to base.  Set a watch here."  They nodded and headed back to where they had taken over an inn in town.  It was close enough to change out shifts.

Alex appeared in the castle's yard.  "We're back!" he shouted.  "Cursebreaker conference in the study!"  He led them that way, smiling when the girls all squealed and pounced their Danny.  He waved.  "You three too!  You're our only crossover specialists."  They drug everyone inside to get warm.  "Don, did you put up the shields again?"  He nodded.  "Thank you."  He collapsed behind his desk.  Then he pointed.  "Behind you, the really old blue journal."  Danny found it and Alex nodded.  "My line's founder."  He got comfortable.  "Tombstone, can we please have some cocoa and stuff?  We're expecting goblins and possibly other cursebreakers."  The house elves brought in snacks and drinks for them.  "Thank you, Tombstone."  He grinned and patted him on the head.  "I like you even if you do terrorize the older house elves.  Remember, we're a laid back people here."  That got a nod.  "Also, near the summer hols we'll be holding an artifact auction, probably at the other house.  Get with the aunts and their house elves to plan it please."  He nodded and left them alone.  Alex looked at the goblin stomping in.  "Merlin was half-alien."

"There's no way the wizarding world will permit that viewpoint," the goblin said firmly.  Daniel handed over the journal.  He looked at it and grimaced.  "Fine, whatever.  Your new students are attending?"

"They're the crossover people," Danny agreed.  "They're all witches but they were raised with the project as the next generation.  This way they learn how to handle both the Ancient's technology and the magic stuff so they can make that stuff work and make more allies for us."

The goblin scowled.  "We have been finding bits and pieces of technology for years."

"We go through a Choppa'ai ring," Daniel told him.  "We're making a lot of allies and fighting a lot of Gou'ald."

The goblin looked impressed.  "It was known someone was."

"I'm Daniel Jackson.  This is Jack O'Neill.  He's one of our military leaders and I'm on his team when we travel."

That got a nod from the goblin.   "Welcome to Scotland."

"Not a problem.  We were in Ireland earlier."

"I heard."  He looked at Alex.  "You're very young."

"Bite me," Alex said in goblin.  The goblin scowled.  He smirked.  "I am still the head of the Clan Dumass.  You know that.  Who else can teach those three what they need to know since they're all natural cursebreakers?  They're so used to computers they'd never fit in at Hogwarts so the mother-in-law asked for a favor for a very good reason."

"Good point.  We had heard."  He sat down.  "We need to hide this.  The wizarding societies of modern times would be horrified if they knew the founding races who became wizards and witches dealt with alien technology.  The aurors going with you are bad enough.  They're all warned what they're not allowed to share before and after their assignments."

Alex yawned then grabbed some cocoa, nodding Abby to hand the rest out.  "Then can we hide it by giving it to them?  They're dealing with it anyway."

"We've never been able to get anything to work."

"I have one artifact and Draco can," Alex countered.  "Abby's father said something about a specific gene sequence."  He shrugged again, sipping his cocoa.  "Could be worse.  Could react to all of us."

"No, that's all right," the goblin said dryly.  Gruinth came in with a few large tomes.  "The notes he needed?"

"Indeed."  He put them on the desk.  "Why?"

"Because Merlin played with techno-toys from the Ancients," Alex told him simply.  "Which is Danny's job too."  He pointed at him.  "And why I'm training the girls to crossover between our two worlds."  He took another sip.  "By the way, auction right before they go off for the summer hols."

"That's fine, Alex."  He took his own drink and sat down to look at the books.  "This is what we have found of technological things on various digs.  Most of those have drawings as well."  He handed them over.  "This is the records of where we have knowledge of where Merlin stored things and what was found in them."  He handed over another book.  "And this is other digs that Alex wanted to know about."  He handed that to him.  "Someone would have to go look at those other tombs to see if there were other technological things we had missed."  He looked at Alex.  "You've protected us for a very long time, Dumass.  You know the people aren't ready for this yet."

"I know.  That's why I've been keeping the information that my ancestor and Merlin used to do the naughty things regularly for stress relief out of the open too.  Or what Merlin really was.  By the way, anyone doing the underwater thing on the old Atlantis site?  I got asked to ask since some of it showed up recently as well."

"No, not yet," he admitted.  "Do you want to?"

"I barely know how to scuba dive," he pointed out.  "Besides, with that other stuff, I'm going to be relying on Abby to know what's magic and what's not magic up there by the time she goes home for the hols."  He looked at her.  "That's why I've been pushing the identification stuff."

"I agree," she told him. "If we can find things that are magical it could help."  She leaned over Danny's arm, pointing. "Isn't that a ZPM?  Dad would freak if they could get it to work."

Danny smiled. "He would."  He looked through the rest of the book, knowing what some of them were.  He looked at the goblins.  "Can we negotiate for these things?"

The goblins nodded.  "The Bank's Council has said it was a good idea.  The wizarding world may never be ready for that sort of knowledge.  The knowledge that leaked out about some of us being taken in the ancient battles and them possibly being alive on another world or realm freaked out many.  It was good most of them didn't want to come home."

"We'll have to make sure that the family Kovrant doesn't come on any of the digs," Alex reminded Jack.  He nodded that he'd take care of it. The goblins gave him an odd look.  "I obliviated him and banished him back to the village when I spotted him."  They both smiled at that.  "As you've both pointed out, I have protected this world for a very long time.  I'll do it through this life too, no matter how long it lasts."  He finished his cocoa and put his cup down, taking a filled cracker to nibble on.  "Eat, guys.  It's only polite."  They dug in and nibbled while they came to an agreement about the machines.  At the end Alex gave them an impish grin.  "Can Abby deliver the stuff to her father?  It'll be a good way to get her home for the summer hols."

"That is a good idea," Jack agreed with a smile, hugging both twins.  "You two are coming back to the base."  They smiled.  "How soon before we can send someone to the other sites?"

"We need this to be silent," Gruinth told them.

"Which means it's have to be us," Don said from his seat next to Ron, who was nodding that he agreed.  The goblins both nodded.  "That's fine.  We're only doing the inventory anyway."  He shrugged.  "At our current rate we can get there.  Is there a rush to find that stuff?"  Daniel shook his head.  "Then we'll get it in a few months, during the summer or something."  That got more nods.  "That's fine then.  Alex?"

"We can all take some, Don.  It'll be a good break from the rest of the insanity and a good rest after the auction.  Though I did promise to take Draco and Dawn on a shopping spree."  That got a smirk from Ron.  "Hey, I could make you pay for hers."

"There's not enough money in all the banks to satisfy Dawn's shoe and cute jeans fetish," he reminded him.  "No one else came to Hogwarts their first day wearing two-thousand- dollar shoes."  Everyone gaped at him.  "Draco took her to Gucci for shoes."

Don shuddered.  "Stella won a shopping spree there once.  Danny about flipped when he saw what she had bought and how much taxes she'd have to pay for it."

The girls giggled. "Can we do the auction, Alex?"

"Sure, girls.  We'll get you dressed up, go do the nibbling in public thing that night."  He looked at Daniel.  "If you want to you can come too."

"I might," he said with a small smile.  "Now, I'm here for dinner.  Show me around?"  The girls drug him off to chat and walk around with him.  Jack could handle anything else.

"You think one summer will be enough?" Jack asked.

"No but I think by the time the girls are ready to start on fieldwork you'll be through all this stuff and then they can start with some of the sites we know are Ancient sites but no one's touched.  They can go with those of us who want to go and handle it.  That way they get a good feel for what they'll be doing in the field."

Jack smirked.  "How long before they graduate?"

"I'm thinking sixteen from here, one year to finish up any pesky college requirements at the most through the Oxford College of Magic, and then back to you guys by eighteen?  That way they wouldn't have to do paperwork for being underage geniuses.  Some of us have military experience.  All the cursebreakers have extensive field training.  That'll help in small team meet and greet situations and in run for your life times."

Jack nodded.  "Then if they needed a boot camp we could run it then."

"Mac Taylor's one of us and he was a marine."

"Decent.  Works for me," Jack decided, standing up, smiling at the goblins.  "We have people in the town near that tomb.  We'll pick them up tomorrow, bring only Danny, myself, and one other researcher with us, but we'll knock her out or something on the way in, so we can look at the storage area?"

"It's in Russia."

"We have trade agreements with them and they're part of our program too when it went international."  That got a smirk and a nod from Gruinth.  "You've heard?"

"I've kept very close tabs on what the aurors are doing over there with you lot.  Alex tends to get messed up in things.  I had no idea sending him after those unholy artifacts would come to this."  He gave his minion a fond look.  "One of the best ever and he proves it with every bit of trouble he gets into."

"Hey, Ron got adopted by the dragon in the marketplace in Rio," he said dryly.  "Don got one mailed to him.  Harry had the only literate troll fan ever."

"Yes, that's why they're your apprentices," he said dryly, gathering up the books again.  "We'll see you tomorrow at the storage area, gentlemen.  Alex can get you there."  Alex nodded.  "He's put things there before."  Alex nodded again, eating another little bit of puff pastry with stuff inside.  "Very well then.  Have a good meeting with him and remember the book lending policy."  The goblins left.

"Awww, thanks, Alex," Don said happily.  "I was getting bored."

"Some of them you might not be able to get into," Alex told him.  "The one today reacted to my lineage."  He held up his hands.  "I took one," he said when Ron opened his mouth.

"Take another one before we have to see Draco turn into a bloody screaming drama queen again, Alex," Ron complained.  "Had enough of that when your aunts made the baby with both your seeds."

"He only does that for the important things."  He dug out another potion and took it as well.  He checked the damage, all gone.  He grinned at Jack.  "Wish you were one of us?"

"Anything to keep me out of the infirmary."

Alex grinned.  "I got the Third Order of Merlin because I didn't destroy a hospital once."

"We hate infirmaries and hospitals so much that they send us to Hogwarts' infirmary when we're hurt," Don added with a grin.  "The nurse there can beat all of us into submission when we fuss."  Jack walked off laughing.  "Now what, boss?"

"Inventory.  Dinner later, getting them there tomorrow.  Then we'll have to move on from there."  They nodded and all of them went back to work on the inventory.  It had been decades since the last one.  It was clearly overdue when Alex found his former wedding ring out there.  He thought it had been melted off his hand during a battle.  Ron snatched it before he could put it on and removed the curses from it then handed it back, walking off shaking his head.  "Thanks, Ron."  He got back to work.  Some of them were actually labeled.  He loved his anal retentive nature from his first life.  Made things a bit easier now.

***

Abby looked at her father a few weeks later.  "Dad, am I boring you?" she asked.

"No, dear, of course you're not."  He glanced over.  "What would make you say that?"

"Gee, dad, the tinkering you're doing while your only daughter calls from a galaxy far away from where you're building shit that probably doesn't want to be built anyway was a small clue."

"You know my job is important," he sighed, looking at her for a full minute.  "You've known that forever.  The same as you know that my job doesn't come before you, even when I do have to fix things in the middle of the night."  He went back to tinkering.  "My job is important.  If not, all of us could die when we sink back into the ocean again."

"Dad, what if I brought home a new ZPM?" she asked.

He stiffened and fully faced her for the first time.  "You've found one?"

"I'm not sure but I think someone found something that might look like one.  It was in some of the notes I was looking over.  Also there was the idea of rechargeable batteries.  Can't you recharge the ZPM?"

"We don't know what charges them in the first place.  If we could, I definitely would."

"The notes said they used an organic power source instead of a chemical or nuclear one, right?"  He nodded slowly.  "What makes that sort of an energy field that it could suck it up?"

"Do you think you could?" he asked, understanding what she was saying.

She shrugged.  "I don't know if I'd be that strong or not or even if that's the source of what it runs on, Dad.  You tell me."

He considered it.  "We'll have to test that theory and see if you can tell when you come up."

"We're having an auction of the stuff in the catacombs before then.  Uncle Danny's going to be here."  He opened his mouth. "It'll be right before I come up for the summer."

"You're coming home for the summer?"

"Yes, father, I am.  Unless...you don't want me?" she asked more hesitantly.

"Of course I want you!"  He frowned at her.  "What a stupid idea."  He sighed and shook his head.  "When are you coming up?"

"Late May, early June.  I'll be expected back by the end of September."

He nodded.  "That's a long enough holiday to test some hypothesis and have at least one good movie night."

She rolled her eyes.  "Dad, I'd like to do more than spend time with you in the lab," she said impatiently.  "I'm not an artifact to test.  I'm your daughter."

"I knew that."

"Then act like you'd be happy to have me home?  Maybe just a bit?" she suggested.

"I knew I shouldn't have sent you off to school down there.  You're getting all sorts of funny ideas!  You were clingy when I was down there; clearly something's going on!  They've been making innuendos, haven't they?  Or touching you?"

"Dad, shut up!" she shouted.  He gave her a horrified look. "No, nothing's going on.  That was the first time I'd been away from home since I got delivered.  So quit!  Now!  You're wasting time.  This call takes energy.  Now, if I need to I can probably stay since you're not that thrilled with me coming home."

"I am so," he defended.  He glared at her.  "You're still getting all sorts of strange notions down there."

"Dad, nothing's happening to me.  Most of the people here still consider themselves married to the people they were before.  I'd just really like a father now and then.  You know, one who pays attention to me?  Congratulates me because I aced an arithmancy test?  Those things?"

"I'm very proud of you.  I have been since they gave you to me."

Big Abby leaned into view.  "This is normal, teenage girl stuff," she told him, patting Abby on the back.  "It happens to us all during puberty.  She needs your approval, affection, and for you to pay attention to her because she's smart enough to know that she's getting ready to change her whole life around some year soon and start dating and those things."

Little Abby looked up at her.  "My father isn't going to understand that."

"I'm sure he had his own.  Most boys had an angry phase to their teenage rebellion."

"Yes and I do regret most of it," Rodney said, scowling at his daughter.  "Is that what this is?"

"That and you're tinkering instead of spending twenty minutes talking to me, yeah."  She nodded.  "That always annoyed the crap out of me."

"Language!" he snapped, frowning.  "That is another bad habit you've picked up."

"Dad, I can say it properly in ten different languages," she said dryly.  "Want me to switch?"

"No, I do not.  Your manners are lacking again."

"I'm not a robot, dad."

"I know that.  I'm the one who potty trained you.  This must come from your mother.  Now I see why they wouldn't tell me who it was."

"And yet again the clue bus has passed you by, Dad."  He scowled again, arms being crossed over his chest.  "Duh, I look almost like Mom.  At least my body shape appears to be moving that way.  And hello, clue bus getting ready to run you over, they did it because they can actually stand to be around you."

"No one hangs out with me," he defended.  "How would they know?"

"Someone does hang out with you, Dad.  You're too clueless to realize it.  It's been years, quit pissing around and give me a real mother for a change?"  He gaped at her.  She sighed, looking at her buddy.  "Is it just me?"

"Some people don't see those interpersonal relationships very well, Abby," she said gently.  "You can give gentle nudges and things.  Sometimes that helps."

"She's trying to set me up!  I do not need to date!" he yelled.

"Dad, you do need to date.  You need to date, you need to get on with the icky sex stuff sometime in the near future so you're happier, and then maybe we can talk to the people who made me and I can have a sibling so I can care about a creature other than you."  He went red in the face and she sighed.  "So off track.  Even if the clue bus is going to run you over and you'll be flatter than my pancakes.   Do you want pictures from the auction since I'll be dressed up?"

"Yes," he said.  "No more matchmaking!  You're not even old enough to date."

She stood up to get closer.  "Dad, I've seen you drool at him.  I've seen him drool at you.  As Ron said, commence with the squeaky, squealy noises that mean you're happy."  He went pale and sat down again, giving her a horrified look.  "Thank you!  Finally the clue bus has hit you and you have a clue.  Should I turn letters like Vanna to give you more of a clue?"

Alex strolled in.  "Thou art loud, Abigail."  He gave her a hug.  Then he looked at her father.  "Congrats, it's a teenage girl instead of just a girl.  Expect angst, random anger at what she sees as your stupidity and failures, and then moping because you proved her wrong for the next four years.  She will grow out of it but by then she'll be dating and you'll have to hear that trauma instead."

Rodney let out a small whimper. "She's not ready for that yet!"

"Of course not!  And when she is, she'll talk to someone here or me. Then she'll come talk to you probably.  Not like all of us here can't tell her about the various birth control potions and all that stuff."

"We use a shot," Rodney said weakly.  "It stops cycles."

"Witches' powers are linked with their hormone cycles," Abby recited, giving him a look.  Little Abby grimaced at that.  "Yup, that's why we start you guys so young, so you can find some control before the hormone swings start."  She patted her on the back.  "It'll be fine.  You'll grow out of them."

"Even I did," Alex agreed.  "Both times so far and I'm sure I will this time too."  He looked at the father again.  "She's going to the auction in formal dress robes.  Did you want pictures?"

"Yes, I do," he said weakly.  "Daughter?"  She looked at him.  "We'll be talking when you come up.  I knew sending you off to school was a bad idea.  They all but bullied me into sending you away and I can only dream what sort of inappropriate things you're learning."

"You'd rather have me dead of cancer or suicide when my powers backed up?" she countered.

"There's no proof...."  Abby and Alex both nodded.  "There is?  In *real* science?"

"One of the American schools was purposely missing people.  Some of the ones that were found were watched over.  There's three good studies that state it and two more from before that time.  We've known about it for a long time.  See, power backing us is going to change the cells.  Plus power backing up can change brain chemistry as well."  Rodney shuddered.  "That's why we need to train them.  Besides, she's going to be the one crossing over between the two worlds.  We know a good portion of what they did in *your* project at least was organic, magical, or both."  Rodney shook his head.  Alex beamed and nodded.  "Yes it was.  Danny knows.  He's working on some stuff we've found in tombs over the years.  You'll be seeing it soon.  Now, did you want normal pictures or wizarding pictures or did you want Danny and Jack to take video when they came over for the auction?"

"Normal photos please.  Or 3-D ones if you can."  His daughter nodded.  "We'll still be talking."

"After you finally get a clue and go jump him, we might," she said, waving and turning it off.  She looked at them. "I'm sorry."

"You're a teenage girl," Alex reminded her gently, patting her on the arm.  "It'll get better.   Though, the swearing?  Don't let the aunts catch you.  Or the rude stuff.  They're the scary creatures in the family and I still have flashbacks to when they tried to teach me manners."  He looked at the mirror.  "You know, he's probably trying to make it work on that end."

"Maybe he'll get Uncle John, figuring that magic has something to do with the ATA gene."  She shrugged and hugged them both.  "Night."

"Night," they said, smiling at her as she walked off.  He looked at Abby.  "Think she'll win?"

"Maybe.  She's a very focused young lady."  She beamed at him.  "I'm going to make Harry give me a backrub."

"Make him take you on a picnic or something tomorrow," he countered, walking off so he could pounce his mate for a cuddle.  Someday soon Draco would be his again and then the world would tremble at his feet.  He almost let out an evil chuckle, but it'd be redundant in his case.

***

On Atlantis, Rodney McKay was throwing an absolute fit in his lab.  Throwing things, screaming and ranting, pacing back and forth fit.  A few of the people in the halls at that hour gave the doorway worried looks.  One sent for the project administrator.  One sent for Sheppard.

"Hey!" John yelled as he walked in.  "What's wrong?"

"My daughter has turned into some rude, hormonal, little brat thanks to being sent off to school down there.  I let you all bully me into it but I don't think she'll be going back."

John looked at him then shook his head.  "She's a teenager.  They're all like that now and then."

"Not my daughter!  This has to come from her mother's genes.  Clearly  inferior."

"Really?  Am I?" John asked.  Rodney stopped and gaped.  He gave him a look.  "See, this is why we didn't tell you.  Now, shut up, sit down, and realize your daughter is a teenager.  She's going to have those moods.  She's going to have days when she pushes her boundaries.  Thankfully she's not up here when she can run away or something and get hurt."  He stared him down.  "What did she say?" he said when his friend was calmer.

"She's trying to matchmake me with someone she thinks is suitable.  She swore at me!"  That got a nod.  "She told me I didn't love her more than my work and that I wasn't paying attention to her and that she wasn't sure she'd ever be coming back."

"Uh-huh.  She's a teenager now," Elizabeth Weir said as she came in.  "How are you talking with her anyway?"  He pointed at the mirror.  "Can you make it work?"

"No, it runs on that totally illogical magic stuff."

"Magic is a different sort of power with it's own flows and methods," John reminded him.  "It's logical, natural, and we've run into it before.  They have laws that govern it and Laws that govern the physics of it.  Your daughter will be you the next generation.  That's what she's training for," John said when he opened his mouth to argue with him.  "Now, stay calm.  Who was she trying to fix you up with?"

"You apparently.  She said someone who could stand to hang about with me and whoever her mother was.  You are?"  John nodded. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want to hear this fit before and you kept going on about inferior mother's genes making her do odd, childish things," he said bluntly.  "Which is what normal kids are supposed to do so I didn't mind."  Rodney growled at that.  "Thank you for settling down quickly.  Besides, I am even if I wasn't.  I walked the floors with her just as often as you did, Rod.  Now, anything else she shared?"

"She thinks she found notes about a ZPM.  She think she might know how to recharge it too.  She's looking into it."

"That's good.  Would it hurt her?" Elizabeth asked.  Rodney shrugged.  "Then we'll have to see."

"She told me I couldn't test hypothesis with her anymore.  She used to enjoy working with me in the lab."

"Yes but you started to look at her like she was a project," John reminded him.  McKay pouted.  Not that he'd admit it but he was pouting.  "Remember, she's the next brilliant genius of Atlantis.  The city loves her.  It always has.  She'll finish your work and we'll save the day with her when she's old enough.  Until then, treat her like she's your daughter not your assistant."

"I should paddle her for that outburst."

"No, you shouldn't.  She's a teenager.  Talking to her would help more; it did with me," Elizabeth said.  He gave her a horrified look.  "I was a teenage girl once.  Most of the time I huffed for a while and then calmed down and apologized.  Your daughter is every bit as reasonable as you are, only nicer to others.  She'll grow out of this stage.  Now, any other issues?"  He shook his head. "Are you sure?"  He nodded. "That's good.  Then clean up the mess and do something to finish letting the stress out before you keel over and die.  If you do we'll have to put her in before she's ready."  She walked off.

"You are looking like you're going to have a stroke," John told him.

"She swore at me and told me I didn't love her more than the work I'm doing," he said more quietly.  "If it wasn't them it has to be me."

"Sometimes you get wrapped up in stuff, but she knows you love her," John reminded him.  "You made sure she knew that you loved her more than your work, Atlantis, and all this stuff."  He moved closer.  "It was a momentary thing.  Next time she calls, quit working.  Fairly obvious."  He patted him on the shoulder.  "Want help cleaning up?"

"No, I can do it.  You might activate something or break it."  He got to work cleaning up, letting his friend stay for now.  "You really think she'll outgrow it?"

"Your sister did.  Elizabeth did.  Most girls do grow out of it."

"Fine."  He saw the other scientists leaning around to peek in the doorway.  "Bad talk with my daughter."  They nodded, coming inside.

"How many times do you think she can recharge the ZPM before she's drained?" one asked.  "Don't want to kill her after all."

Rodney picked up a gun but John took it from him before he could use it.  "Shut up and pack," he ordered.  "She's not a guinea pig!"

"Get him out of this lab or I will kill him," Rodney vowed, being held back by John and Radek.  "Now!"  The man ran.  "I want him off Atlantis permanently.  I do mean permanently!"

"Sure," John agreed.  "I agree.  That's a bad thought.  We don't want it to spread."  He glared at the others, who all shook their heads.  He walked off to tell Elizabeth what had happened and she wrote the orders terminating his contract.  He went to deliver them with a few of the Marines.  They could make sure he packed and didn't forget his hairbrush.

***

Abby smiled at Tony when he tapped on her borrowed door.  "I'm nearly ready.  Doing my shoes."

"Looks like you still need to do your hair," he said, smiling at the mess it was.

"Dawn's doing it with Bigger Abby and the aunts, plus the house elf they use for girl stuff."  She walked down with him, on his arm as was proper for a young lady.  "Am I cute?"

"I think you're adorable."  He smiled and handed her to the waiting women at the bottom. "There you go.  Hair time."  She got whisked off and he went to find Daniel.  "She's putting on the finishing touches."

"That's good."  He smiled, then pointed.  "Look.  A baby unicorn."

"There's a whole herd of them now," Alex said from his seat across the room.  "The girls come play with them once a week to help with the brushing and gathering chores."  He turned the page on his book.  "Can I escape yet?"

"No," Daniel reminded him.  "How much stuff is left?"

"About two-thirds of it.  We gave the really horrible stuff to the bank to hold and contain.  This is the lighter stuff that won't cause problems if it gets loose.  Well, that was earlier, this is the party afterward."  He grimaced.  "I escaped from the last one."

Draco strolled in looking magnificent.  "It's nearly time and you have unicorn fur on you," he complained, hauling him up to brush him off and take the book from him.  "The girls?"

"Doing the hair stuff with Abby," Tony told him.

"Still!"

"She just finished getting ready."

He sighed, going to check on them.  The aunts had them all well in hand and they were nearly ready.  "It's due to start in another thirty minutes," he announced.  "Which means people will be here in ten."  They nodded and put on the finishing touches: jewelry, hairclips, all that stuff.  He looked at MJ, who had a bad problem and sighed, pulling his wand to swish it into place.  "There.  Come along, ladies."  He went out to take the book from Alex again and make him go stand in the receiving line with him.  All the cursebreakers were there.  The rest got to mix and mingle but they were hosting the event.  They had to deal with this stuff.  The first guest arrived and they greeted her, letting her inside.  The magical orchestra of fairies playing flutes and harps struck up when she walked into the ballroom.  The house elves made sure all the trays were in place.  The others congregated and greeted her but until more people came in she came to eat for now.  Which was normal too.

***

Don cornered his Danny, who was looking fairly bored.  "Hey."  He got a smile for it.  "Wanted to ask you a question and it's gonna sound sentimental and stuff, but we all know that came with the woof and the tail," he finished with an easy grin even though he knew he was babbling.  Danny gave him a gentle shoulder nudge to calm him down.  "What would you think about redoing our vows?  Without the kidnaping, the forced bonding, all that stuff this time?"

"I didn't mind last time," he said quietly, staring at him.  "Didn't like the kidnaping and having to save your life but I didn't mind the good parts."

Don grinned and relaxed at that.  "I know you weren't gonna put me in the bond with you and the other two.  I know it was to save my life, but with this new life I feel like we should do it again, only without the kidnaping and stuff."

"I was looking at it to offer it to you and the other two," he reminded him patiently.

"Yeah but I also know you weren't gonna because it could've killed all three of you to do it."  He stared at him for a minute.  "I know it was to save my life, Danny, and I love you for it.  Even though it's strange to have a husband and then the two naughty lovers on the side," he offered with a grin.  "Would you help me talk to the anti-mush patrol?"

Danny considered it, then kissed him.  "I'd be honored."  Don beamed at him, a blinding, happy grin.  "If we worked, you'd be taken here and now," he groaned.  Don laughed and gave him a hug, walking him over to where Stella and Mac were being bored to death by some old matron.  "Hey."

"More students?"

"Nah, more people that got hit when that stupid apprentice cursebreaker decided the field was gonna be lost without Alex in ten years."  She gave him a horrified look.  He shrugged.  "Not my fault.  I was chatting with friends and family.  It got about fifty of us total."

"They finally sent him to Azkabahn too," Stella told him.  "Took them three months to decide if it was a punishable offense or just in bad taste."

"Yeah, that was after we were done with 'im," Don agreed.  The matron gave him a longer look.  "Hi, Don Flack, Alex's trainee as well.  Full blown cursebreaker, level six cleared."  She giggled at that.  "I don't do much, I was a cop before, but it's a natural thing and boy does it cause problems when you're not trained."  She nodded.  "Can I steal my boy and girl here from you for a bit?"

"Of course, Mr. Flack.  Though you are adorable."  She pinched him on the cheek.

"Yeah but I'm married," he said with a grin.  "Even with this I'm still married."  She nodded and left them alone.  He grinned.  "Guys, what do you say we do the bonding ceremony again only this time I don't get kidnaped and nearly killed?"

Mac stared at him then at Stella.  Then back at Danny then finally back at Don again.  He shrugged.  "Is it needed?"

"I feel we should since we've got this whole new life ahead of us.  Near as anyone can figure it did the same thing Alex's first curse did.  That means at least another hundred years together, Mac  I'd like to redo our vows.  Been nearly forty years anyway."

Stella smiled.  "As long as we can do it around the castle somewhere."

"That nice spot out back where we learned herbology?" Don teased.  She nodded that'd be fine.  "Mac?"  He gave him the puppy eyes look.  "I know it's sentimental and we all know I suddenly got mushy when I got the woof and the wag but please?"

Mac smiled then kissed him gently.  "Fine, we'll redo them sometime soon."  Don beamed at him.  "I'm almost surprised we didn't have to pull you away from the buffet."

"I didn't eat much until my bottomless pit stage," Don said with a small shrug.  "Wait until two years from now."  He grinned at Danny.  "You still okay with it?"  He nodded. "Good.  Then we should probably go save the students from the nagging reporter crank."

Danny strolled over there, smiling at Abby and putting his arm around her shoulder.  "Dear."

"Danny."  She smiled at him.  "This nice reporter wanted to know how I was liking learning with the family."  She smiled at her.  "I think it's great.  Alex is a great tutor and the rest of the family steps in when he doesn't know a subject.  We've had a lot of fun this year and learned a lot.  Professor Sanders from Hogwarts did our year-end tests and he said we're nearly at the middle of our second year's worth of studies but we never felt pushed.  Plus Alex is working on our cursebreaker tendencies so we know those things at the same time."  She sipped her champagne. "It's been a great experience and I'm looking forward to next year.  He said he'd take us to some closed digs to let us know what digs were like in the field."

The reporter smiled and nodded.  "It's good you're happy with your education.  Why not go to Hogwarts, dear?"

"Because the twins and I grew up surrounded by computers.  We never used a pen, much less a quill.  It'd be a huge culture shock for us to go back to a quill and be deprived of the laptops we grew up with.  Plus, with the parents who raised us, we're a bit ahead.  The twins already speak and read four languages and are reading another three.  I read five myself and speak two other than English."  She gaped.  "All of us basically got raised in a lab.  Their grandfather raised them and they were raised in a linguistics program.  I was raised in a real lab because my dad's a physicist.  We might've went to Canada but they wanted to know what my father was doing.  Since they wanted us to go together and two of us are natural cursebreakers, it was thought best to let Alex handle us."  She smiled. "I'm told at the end of our studies with him he's going to take us to his friends at some of the colleges to have us tested and put in for higher degrees as well.  That way we can go back to helping our families."

"That's very good of him.  Thank you, dear.  Do have a good summer holiday."

She beamed.  "I plan on it."  She smiled at Danny.  "Think I could sneak my broom home?"

"Only if no one who doesn't know sees you."

"Shoot."

"Shrink it, bring it back anyway," Don offered.  "Just hide it really well when you wanna fly.  We did for ages."  She nodded, walking off with them.  Her little interview had given the twins time to sneak off.

"Good job," Danny said quietly.  She beamed at him.  "Now, let's find Alex and see if we can have some fun.  Your grandfather is busy talking ancient stuff with someone from the college."

"Let's not make it fun like how you, Tony, and Speed nearly caused the shutdown of the New York academy by showing up," Stella told him dryly.  "I heard they finally revived the headmistress and she's no longer babbling about you three."

Danny grinned.  "She was a classmate in our house.  She remembered us fondly."  Tony choked and Speed snickered.  "Stella said she heard the old bat quit babbling finally."

"Good, only took two months since they woke her up." Speed said happily.   He grinned at Tony.  "Think we should visit?"

"No, I think that'd be overdoing it.  Let her wonder for the next six years."  He sipped his champagne.  "Lovely event, Alex," he teased when he walked closer.

"Good then I'm not the only bored one," he said quietly, glancing around.  "Can't we think up an emergency?"  Abby handed off her glass and then 'fainted'.  "That'll do."  He picked her up with some of the others' help.  "Auntie, she passed out from the heat in here," he told one.  They apparated off together.  The cursebreakers had practiced this move and the others apparated around them.  They made it back to the castle and he put her down then they ran back to the house to get out of the stiff clothes and then go find some real fun.  Alex had found a good teen club and had taken everyone out last weekend.

Horatio looked at the remaining members of the family.  "We should probably go stop them.  Get the twins."  Mac nodded and he went to make their apologies and leave through the floo.  The others followed and they got there in time to change and go with them.

***

A few days later the guard at the gate at Cheyenne Mountain looked at the three girls.  "We're in lockdown, ladies.  No one in or out."

MJ sighed.  "Well, we're not allowed to stay out here.  Our custodial parents are down there."

"Wish I could lift it.  What's in the crates anyway?"

"Stuff I have to bring back to the *other* project with me," Abby said with an evil smirk.  "Daddy will be horrified but oh well."  She pushed her hair back over her shoulders and concentrated, making a scrying portal like Dawn has showed them.  "Hi, Uncle Jack."

"Girls."  He grinned and the guard gave it a horrified look. "Let 'em in with the crates.  Have someone carry them please.  They're for a special project down here."

That got a nod and the guard did that once the portal was closed, escorting them all the way down.  "How did you do that?" he asked once they were in the elevator.

"Oops," MJ said, grimacing.  "You're not supposed to know about that."

"I can ignore that like I do the other stuff, ladies."  He used the hand truck to move the crates after them once they got to the proper floor.  "Where did you want these?" he asked Doctor Jackson.  He pointed at a corner.  "Anything else, sir?"

"There's six more coming but they'll come where these are with Alex," Abby assured him.  "Thank you."  She smiled and he grinned back, heading off.  She hugged Danny.  "Hi!  Any MRE's?  Alex only had a small crate and I've already been through those."

"I still think it's weird you and your father think MREs are good food," Danny said, nodding at his pack.  She dug in and got one for a snack.  He hugged his grandchildren.  "I've missed you two."  He grinned.  "You've grown."

"You should've been at the event's after party for longer, Grandfather.  You could've snuck out with us."

He smiled.  "We had a small invasion problem so I had to leave early."  He shrugged and they nodded, understanding it.  "Did we take pictures?  Jack!"

"I saw!  Give me another ten!  Abby created a mirror thingy!"

"Really?" Daniel asked.

"They weren't going to let us on base," she pouted, then she grinned.  "What're we doing this summer?"

"Helping me around here to see how far you've gone in your studies."  He sat down and let the girls babble at him about their studies.  It was good to have them home.

***

Abby sat down on the top of one of the crates, petting the non-working ZPM she had found in Gringotts.  "My precious," she said, cracking up a few of the guys.  She grinned at Elizabeth when she came in.  "Hi.  Dad still has to claim me and what I brought him."  That got a smile from a few of the guys.

"I'll make sure he knows he has things here," Elizabeth said, taking the manifest to look over.  She stared at the girl, who held up the non-working model.  "Is it charged?"

"We'll see if we can figure that out this summer."  She squealed and hugged her favorite uncle when he came in.  "Hi."  She beamed at him then leaned closer.  "I brought my broom, Alex said you snatched that one, find us somewhere to fly?" she whispered.

John laughed and nodded.  "I can do that."  He gave her a squeeze.  "Coming?"

"No, dad has to come claim me since I brought stuff back with me."

"Hopefully it's not germs," he teased.

"No, not germs.  He'd freak out and do that flailing, slapping dance to get them off him again.  Though, did you know what fun dancing can be?"

"I do," he agreed happily, pinching her on the ear.  "Did you get in trouble?"

"With sixteen miniaturized adults as chaperones for the three of us?"

"Then I'm happy.  Get hit on?"  She blushed but nodded.  "Kick his butt like I taught you?"

"Horatio told him I was only twelve and he had to wait a few years to hit on me again.  He said he'd look forward to it."

He laughed, shaking his head.  "That's my girl."  He gave her another squeeze.  "No matchmaking while you're up here.  He's not ready for that yet."

"It's been nearly a decade."

"He's slow in some things.  It's where his brain got focused in the science stuff.  The other things pass him by all the time."

"Point."  She shrugged and looked around then at him.  "Someone call him so I don't have to sit here all night?"

"McKay, you have presents from the Daedalus," he called over the comm system.  He hung up and went back to hugging her.

Rodney wandered in reading a few minutes later.  "What got sent up?"

"Me, dad."

He put his book aside and hugged her.  "I expected you next trip, not this one."

"Alex and his snuggly are having a fight so we got released early.  Draco's manifesting as a veela and he's not a happy camper since he can't have sex yet."  She grinned, holding up the device in her lap.  Her father gaped.  "It's not charged at all."

"We can figure out how to charge it; I've needed one for parts and research testing," he said, smirking at her.  "Now, get off those dusty crates and let's get you unpacked."

"Dad, the dusty crates are stuff they found in Gringotts."  She handed over the letter from Danny.  "From Uncles Danny and Jack."  He read it then gaped at her.  She smirked and got off the crates, waving a hand.  "All ours.  I go back in late august, early september."  They both nodded and got a cart to pull the boxes back to the lab.  "You may not forget yourself in the lab while I'm here, Dad, or else I'm going to go on missions to hone my sensing skills."

"What sensing skills?"

"It's a cursebreaker talent," she said happily.  "I can sense the earth and feel what's around me in the power flows."

John blinked. "That's got to come in handy."

"Yeah, Alex said it helps during rockfalls too."  She grinned at him.  "So I need practice to stay in shape and then I'll be good."  She hugged her father.  "I also brought back a lot of arithmancy books so I can work ahead this summer.  That way you can do your stuff and I can do my stuff and you won't have to put up with me all the time."

He stopped the cart and stared at her.  "You are my daughter.  It's not like you're a prize pig I won in a raffle."  She beamed at that.  "Now, let's get these into the lab and see what you brought me.  Then we'll unpack, have some dinner, chat tonight, and then we'll figure where you're helping me tomorrow.  Shall we?"

"We shall."  She smiled and took her uncle's arm, walking off with him.  "We walked into a base lockdown at Cheyenne but MJ got us in with all the stuff.  Danny even had MREs waiting on me."

"I'm happy he did.  You'd starve on that base," Rodney complained.

"No I won't, Dad.  Oh, I need to stop in botany for a minute today.  I looked something up and it's a harmless way to see how things react around here.  That way I don't have to worry about the innate power around here bouncing back at me."  He stared at her.  She ducked into botany, smiling at them.  "I'm back!"  They all hugged her and chatted for a few minutes then left them alone.  She walked over to a poor little plant and pulled her wand out of her sleeve, casting the small spell to make it grow a bit.  She felt the magic that answered her and beamed.  It was clean and she wouldn't have many problems here.  She stepped back and waved a hand at it for her father's benefit, watching him gape.  It had grown about double of what it had been.  "I can't do it often but it's a good way to test the local power flows without going into a trance and doing it."  She walked them off, taking them to her father's lab so they could unload the crates.  He nearly stroked some of them but that was her dad.  He was just like that - odd and fussy.  Wait until he saw her duel.  Then they'd know there were better things to fuss over than her.

Table of Contents

Banks, part 2

Banks, part 2. 2

The Pound. 24

Hard At Work. 35

Home. 50

Ouches. 68

Girlish Figures. 90

Memories in the Moonlight. 108

Summoning. 126

Personnel Issues. 142

A Family Affair 158

A Switch. 180

Slightly Evil Minions. 193

Future Outtake. 216

Of Bonds and Bondings. 221

Familial Duty. 235

Alex's Curse. 249