Contents

Summer Holiday.

Meetings, Greetings, and Asskickings.

A True Bane to the World

One of Those Days.

Chaos Indeed.

Dragons and Heirs.

The Next Great Wizard

New Banes, New Hells on Earth.

Baby's Big Day

Family Banes

An Odd Interlude

Trapped and Not Alone.

He Needs It.

Working

An Unpleasant Surprise

Hodges.

Changing Minds.

MINE!!

An Unholy Trinity.

Friendly Beasts.

You're a What And You Ride a What?

Matters of the Afterlife

Special Powers of Observation.

Nippy and Night.

Moves.

Lessons

Shifting Over.

Amusing Challenges

Summer Holiday.

Xander stepped off the train and looked around, smirking in relief.  "Yes!  Freedom!" he shouted, letting out an evil cackle.

His consort gave him an odd look, then smacked him across the back of the head.  "I'm the evil one in the family, get it right, Alex."  He looked stunned as a group of aurors rushed them.  "Alex, have you been playing with the dark curses on the students again?" he asked fondly, smirking at his lover.

"No, I finished releasing them last week," he said thoughtfully, looking at an auror.  "Why are you guys here?  Hi, Tonks, back again?"

"Yup, sure am," she said happily.  "Back from scaring the rest of the universe.  We came to escort Harry to training camp.  He not off yet?"

"Not yet.  Yo, nephew!" Alex yelled.  Harry Potter, his beloved great-nephew, trotted over with his trunk.  "These scary people are here to take you to training camp."

"But I don't want to be an auror any more," he complained.  "I thought I sent that letter."

"You did," one of the males grunted.  "There's been death threats."

"Oh."   Harry shrugged and nodded. "I guess that's really normal."  He hugged his uncle, kept himself from slapping his uncle's smug consort, hugged Ron and Dawn.  "I'll write soon, guys.  We're off to the training camp."

"Sure, Harry, have all the fun," Ron said with a smirk.  "Tell Oliver the twins said hello.  I'm sure they'll try to once they figure out how to find you guys."

"Sure."  He grinned as the aurors rushed him off, one of them taking his trunk with them.  He walked out of the floo and into the barracks-style room, looking around.  "Well, this is cheery for not being a military camp," he snorted.

"This is for tryouts," a familiar voice said from the other side of the fireplace.  "We've got rooms already because we're beyond that."

"Ollie!" he shouted, hugging him.  "Good to see you!"

"Good to see you too, Potter, let go," he gasped.  Harry let go with a warm chuckle.  "Damn, you're strong!"

"It's all the training I've been doing with my uncle."

"Uncle?  The bloated bastard?"

"No, my great-uncle Alex.  He's pretty cool.  He even managed to civilize Malfoy."

"I didn't think you had relations left," Oliver pointed out.

Harry flipped some of his hair back as he nodded.  "Yeah, it turns out I do.  And I'm kinda related to Snape, which makes him oh so very happy," he added with a wink.  "Let's see if I can recite this.  Alex is my Great-Uncle on my mum's side.  He's my grandmother's brother on that side.  They're Dumasses.  Then on my dad's side he kinda slept with his grandma so I'm kinda his on that side too, we think.  We can't be quite sure.  Snape's his son so he's my uncle I believe. Then of course there's the whole apprentice curse breaker thing going on, with Ron of course, and his little sister by adoption Dawn."  Oliver looked confused so he gathered some things from around the room to make a diagram for him.

Oliver finally nodded.  "Okay.  That makes sense.  That explains why you're so strong too."

"And why I fly so well," Harry added.  "Uncle Alex is killer on a broom.  Back in his day the league offered him *women* to join their teams."  Oliver gaped - they had only offered him a good salary and all the flying he wanted, plus someone to handle the stupid press things when they started to happen.  "Yeah.  Sent a lot of them to the school to be with him and everything.  Alex Dumass is one hot and strong thing, even as a beater.  Impressed the hell outta Forge and Gred, plus their wife."  Someone shouted and rushed at them.  Harry reacted using his new training and got the guy onto his back and disarmed, pressing the knife against his throat.  "Who the bloody hell are you and what did you think you were doing?" he asked in a slightly amused tone he had blatantly stolen off Draco.  The man babbled drunkenly so Harry waved away the fumes coming from his mouth.  "Does anyone know this loon?"

"I do.  He's a former beater that just got cut," Oliver said, glaring down at him. "How dare you try to hurt our seeker!  Seekers are precious!"  The man babbled some more so Oliver got Harry off him and let the aurors take him away.  "Thank you.  C'mon, Harry, we're sharing a room for the camp."

"Cool.  We get along well enough.  Man, you wouldn't believe some of the friends my uncle has.  The whole Bane network adopted him, me, Ron, Dawn, and Draco."

"Malfoy really has a soul?"

"Yeah, and it's apparently that of a harlot," he snorted.  "Always on his back and begging for my uncle to do more.  Consort veela you know."

"Wow.  That man's got to be powerful if he makes it out of bed."  He saw Harry's arms and looked at them, then at him.  "Banes?"

"Group of students in my dad's year," he said with a smirk.  "They include people like the twins' wife and our defense teacher, plus my Uncle, the bastard potion's master."

Oliver shook his head.  "Good on you, mate.  They help you learn the curse breaking stuff?"  Harry nodded.  "So why are you here?"

"Two reasons," he admitted as he sat on his bed.  "My uncle agreed that I needed to get it out of my system.  Plus, I'm watching over Ron's fiancé, who's only a third year, even though she's nearly our age.  She was being taught by a nature witch back in Sunnydale before it exploded."

"I've seen them in the paper.  They're perpetually cute."

"Yeah, and Dawn's one of us," Harry said smugly.  "Her sis's a former slayer, now a vampire.  Longer story there and she'd have to tell it, she's the only one who knows all of it."  He grinned again.  "So I'm doing this until the press makes me run away screaming and by then Dawn should be out of school.  Then I'll finish my training with them."

"Okay.  Four years is a good average," Oliver agreed.  "Maybe you'll stay longer?"

"Only if I can find a way around everyone staring at me.  You know I hate it."

"True," Oliver agreed, he did remember that.  "We'll work it out.  Did you get to see any of the Weasley clan before they snatched you?"

"Ron and I sat together on the way back since Dawn was asleep in his lap.  I'm sure we'll get cookies from Molly or one of the Dumass clan's aunts.  There's a bloody ton of them."

Oliver snickered.  "Making the moves on you?"

"No!"  He frowned at him.  "Trying to get me to date a nice witch and have kids since Alex hates them.  I'm the only one to carry on the family name."

Oliver burst out in giggles. "I can't see you being the da to a pack of little monsters," he snickered, shaking his head.

Harry shook his head.  "Me either, but they certainly can. They've even threatened to take some of my seed and do it without my helping.  I had to point out that it took all the fun out of getting a girl that way and Auntie Cordy stopped that idea cold."  Oliver burst out in renewed laughs, making him smirk.  "So, how's things here?  Good food at the least?"

Oliver nodded.  "Very good food.  Decent enough coaches, but they're under a lot of stress at the moment.  I'm surprised they haven't been in here yet."  He rang a bell and a house elf appeared.  "Where's the coaches?"

"Meeting," she said, tidying up the room and unpacking Harry's things for him, leaving his brooms and an outfit of jeans and a t-shirt.  "There, much neater now," she decided.  "Yous need things, yous ring bell," she told Harry before walking away.

"Wow, she's efficient," Harry said.  "More like the one Cordy got in LA when Alex sent her a house elf strip-o-gram."  Oliver mouthed those words, then shuddered.  Harry smirked at him.  "See, the souled vampire, that's Angel, and my uncle are old enemies over Dawn's big sister, who's now living with him."  He got the stuff from the diagram to work it out with him again, ending with the story of Morgan, the former stripping house elf.  "Plus, he once sent one to Bill Weasley.  He still hasn't figured out a good enough punishment for that yet," he finished with.

Oliver shuddered again. "It's all right, Harry, we'll keep you sane," Oliver promised, patting him on the shoulder.  "I'm sure the twins enjoyed that one."

"Oh, they did," Harry said with a mean grin.  "Especially when Draco bribed their new house elf to do it for their anniversary party.  Their private anniversary party.  Apparently one was watching in shock and horror and the other one couldn't stop whimpering and shaking his head while repeating 'bad friends, bad' over and over."

"Good!  Someone finally got those two!" he said happily.  He heard someone stomping up the hall.  "That'd be the defensive coach," he said fondly.  "You'll hate 'im, but he's good."

"Good, you're finally here," he said as he walked in, looking Harry over.  "You're a bit more muscular than you had been."

"My Uncle Alex has been teaching me curse breaking."

"It's a good thing to fall back on," he agreed.  "Muscles aren't a bad thing either, as long as you don't bulk up so far you're slow.  Come on, it's time for practice."

"Sure.  Let me change clothes."

"Fine.  Wood, you too."

"Yes, sir."

"Good boys."  He left, heading out to the pitch.  "Potter's changing clothes, already had his brooms out.  They were catching up."

"Good," the head coach agreed.  "Ollie trained him, he'll be able to watch over him and correct him."  The boys ran out with their brooms and took off, heading up to warm up with a game of tag.

"I'm going to get you yet, Potter," Oliver warned, smirking at him.  "Dumass or not!"

"You can try but that's why I'm the seeker!" he called back, diving out of the way and coming out of it with a roll and a surge upward, nearly toasting the end of Oliver's bristles.

"Bloody hell, he is good," the head coach admitted.  "That uncle of his must be good for him.  Maybe we should recruit him."

"Carnage?"

"Oh, never mind," he said quickly.  He had caught that one game against Slytherin at the school.  He knew who the uncle was now.  There was no way in hell he was going near that boy.  He was demonic...or something.  To make poor Hufflepuffs do that to the even more poor Slytherins was just bad.  Those poor Slytherins hadn't left the game walking, not a single one of them.

***

Xander, Draco, Ron, and Dawn all appeared in the house under portkey. They stacked their trunks in the hallway, grabbing a few pairs of shorts, a few bathing suits, and a few shirts, changed clothes for the day, and then left again.  "Laters, Aunties, we're on vacation," Alex called as he ran out the door.

Aunt Cordy came out of the kitchen wiping her hands off.  "Did someone just hear Alex?"  Everyone nodded. "What was he yelling this time?"  She found the trunks and grimaced.  "Alex, these do not belong here!" she yelled.  No response so she got one of the house elves.  "Where did the troublesome ones go?"

"Vacation he says," she said quietly.  "Me put up?"

"Yes, Me, please put up their things," she said with a smile.  "Thank you, dear."

"Welcomes."  She took the trunks upstairs, unpacking everything, even the naughty things.  She didn't understand why Ron had a riding crop, but it wasn't her place to ask those sort of questions.  She simply treated the leather and put it on the dresser.

Xander landed on the beach he had picked out and dropped his bag beside him before stretching out.  "Yes, finally!  No more school!"

Draco landed behind him and curled up on the sand beside him.  "Does this mean we can have unbridled shagging?"

"Since when did you follow Luna's stallion example?" Xander teased.  "I don't think you'd look that good in a bridle and bit, dear."  Ron and Dawn appeared, him having done a portkey for her since she was underage to apparate for a few more years.

Ron looked around.  "It's pretty.  Where's the room?"

Xander handed him the reservation and his wallet. "Go for it," he agreed.  "Check us in too.  Take the bags with you."

"Sure," Ron said dryly, taking them with him to the hotel nearest them.  It wasn't the right one but they were nice enough to tell him how to walk across the path to the private, small resort hotel that was directly off the beach.  He walked in and a house elf greeted them, taking all four bags.  "Thanks, mate."  He walked up to the desk. "I'm checking in the party Dumass."

The witch behind the counter smiled and updated the scroll in front of her.  "I see you're in for two rooms?"  She looked at Dawn, then at him.  "She is over the legal age, sir?"

"We're engaged and she's sixteen."

"That's fine then," she agreed, letting him sign in and taking Alex's Gringott's credit card to run.  She came back with a bigger smile.  "Where might the owner be?"

"On the beach, lounging with his consort honey."  Dawn pointed them out.  "Why, are the goblins being sneaky to get him to work?"

"Probably.  They said he has to sign personally."

"Xander!" Dawn called, making him jump up and run inside.  He gave her a look, then looked at Dawn.  "The goblins did it to you again."

Xander grimaced and took the phone, growling at the person on the other end in goblin.  Then he handed it back.  "That should suffice," he said with an impish grin.

"Oh, my, you are him," she said, blushing a bit.  "We've never had such important personages before."

Xander beamed.  "Thanks, we're on vacation though, so I'm gonna go back and convince my consort that sex on a beach is fun, but really nasty."  He trotted back out there to pounce his lover.  If people didn't like it, they didn't have to watch. "See, I told you sand gets everywhere."

Ron signed them into the hotel, taking their keys and his girlfriend up to their room.  "Oh, how cute," she cooed.  "Two double beds.  No waiting for the sheets to be changed."  She pounced him in the finest family fashion and Ron eagerly went with it.  After all, that's why they were engaged.

***

Greg looked up from playing with his precious daughter as the phone rang, using his wand to call it over to him.  "Yeah?" he answered.  He grimaced. "Nope, sorry, not back yet, Penn.  She's apparating but slowly today."  He beamed.  "Yeah," he said happily.  "The new one is taking a toll on that.  She'll have to quit soon, but she wanted more kids."  He tickled his little girl, making her giggle and wiggle for him.  "What's up?"  He listened to the guy go on and on about another potions person who kept a menagerie in town.  "Wow.  Sure I'll be on the lookout for it.  Pretty much anything strange comes to us automatically.   Grissom loves it, it's like a puzzle to him."  He chuckled again, smiling down at his little girl.  "No, do not crawl toward the pool," he warned.  She laughed and kept going, only faster.  He dropped the phone to capture her, bringing her back.  "Sorry, baby was heading for the water.  What was that?"  Penn said something smart.  "Keep it up, man, she'll make you babysit.  She's like that you know."  He smirked.  "Sure.  Not an issue.  If I hear things, I'll tell you.  How's Teller?  I heard he had a cold."  He nodded.  "Need a pepper up potion?  I've got a few bottles because Cassandra had the sniffles recently.  Scared the hell out of her Ped too."  He smirked. "Yes, I meant me," he said patiently.  Emilia appeared and he stood up to hug her, letting her have the baby when she gave a tug.  "It's Penn.  Wanna chat?"

"Tell him I'll see him tomorrow, just as soon as I've peed a few gallons and then jumped you, studly."

"Well all right then," he said, hanging up on the laughs.  He walked her into the bathroom, taking their daughter to put in her room.  "Now you play like a good girl in here," he ordered gently.  "If you do, I'll try to get Auntie Catherine to visit you tomorrow."  She clapped and cheered, so he left her in there with her toys, making sure all the doors outside were closed and locked, just in case.  Then he went to pounce his wife.  "Missed you."

"I was only gone two days."

"So?"

"Good point.  I missed you too," she said with a grin.  "Plus, I got to stop in and see Tipsy.  She's looking suspiciously round at the moment but her husbands are ignoring it and the dry heaves.  They're denying everything."  He smirked as he went down to open her bra with his teeth.  "Why, Greg, are you *desperate*?" she teased.

"Hell yes," he said against her flesh.  "I'm always desperate.  And greedy, let's not forget greedy."  He kissed her skin gently, knowing she was tender.  So she spanked him, making him moan.  "More," he pleaded.  She did that so well!  She flipped them over with some effort but he didn't care, he went willingly.  His woman could crawl on top of him at any point and at any time.  He adored it.  She was his and he was her willing slave.  She stopped all thought with another kiss and a wiggle against his hips, and he was lost, yet again, in her incredible eyes and soul.  "Mine," he whispered, making it a prayer to her.

She smiled at him. "One of these days, you're going to regret giving me this much power over you."  She pinched the end of his nose. "I guess I'll have to spank you for real that day and make you beg."  He laughed and arched up against her as she tickled him.  "Ha!  Found it again!" she crowed, getting him harder, until he begged and pleaded her to stop.  She loved her little weirdo.

***

Methos looked around his house and sighed in relief.  Not a sign of Macleod anywhere.  He was so happy!  He nearly skipped inside but he remembered he had to appear decorous just in case someone was watching.  He walked inside and muted all the shades so no one could see inside, then he did the happy dance of joy.  No more students!  No more Ron or Alex!  No more Draco!  He was free!  An owl cheeped at him and he stopped long enough to pat it on the head and take the letter.  He laughed and shrugged.  "I don't care, I've got a few months off," he told it.  "If he wants I'll be back, but I still won't have Draco, Ron, or Harry!  Or Alex!  Insufferable git!"  He ran into the kitchen to have ice cream for dinner.  At his age who cared what he ate?  He found a roast in the oven baking for him and looked around.  "Helpful things, ghosts," he said dryly.

"Yes, and they can watch you dance too," Macleod said as he came down the stairs.  Methos scowled at him.  "Sorry, I'm hiding from Amanda."

"Here?  There's no bloody way!  I just taught the most horrible students in the bloody world!  Out!"  The Highlander pouted at him so he grabbed him and shoved him out the back door.  "Come back when I'm less happy!" he yelled as he locked it and walked away.  He would keep the roast, he could use some meat to go with his ice cream.  "Hmm, toffee or butterscotch?" he mused as he went to unpack.  He noticed his bag had disappeared.  "Since when have I had a house elf?" he called.  She appeared, looking scared.  "Where did you come from?"

"I's is Muffy.  I's like the house, wanted to volunteer?" she asked hopefully, covering her ears.  "Hates the old folks.  Especially grumpy ones.  Muffy likes to be of service, but not that way."

Methos patted her on the head.  "Fine, you may stay but I'll be gone again in a few months, back to the school."

She looked hopeful.  "School?  There other elves?"

"Many other elves, and some of them are even single," he offered.  "I'm a coffee person most of the time.  We'll figure it out one way or another."

"Yes, master."

"Thank you.  Did you start the roast?"

"No, smiling strange man did.  He's scary when he grins."

"Yes, he is," he agreed dryly, glaring at the back door. Then he smirked at her. "I have my moments but I won't hurt you."  She nodded, her ears flapping.  "Find yourself something to wear that won't get in your way.  I'll be in the library when the roast is medium rare."  He headed that way, sitting down in his favorite chair, getting comfortable.  That's also where he fell asleep.  He had happy dreams of showing Ron, Harry, and Alex exactly what Death was like.

***

Greg was woken an hour before he should be awake by the shrilling phone.  "Hmwhazit?" he mumbled into it.  He sat up, staring in shock.  "Repete, por favor."  He listened to Catherine tell him all about the animals she had seen, and that someone had called in as odd things in the desert.  "I'll be right there.  Is there a sphinx?"  He nodded once.  "I know just where that is.  One hour.  Keep out the gawkers, they're new mechanical trials for a resort."  He hung up and dove for some clothes, waking his wife on the way.  She gave out an adorable sleepy mumble.  "Babe, I can't pounce you.  The guy with the menagerie just got bitten by something and the shield's down.  I need you to go see Penn."  She hissed at him so he kissed her until she woke up, making him grin when she blinked sleepily at him.  "Awake now?"  She shook her head.  "The guy with all the walking potion ingredients got bitten.  His shield's down.  Someone reported his beasts."

"I'll go see Penn," she agreed, climbing out of the bed with a bit of help.  "Thanks, babe.  Go have fun.  I'll send Penn if he's not busy."  She blew a kiss, so he stole a quick one before leaving. "'San, we've got to go see Uncle Penn.  Put on real clothes," she called to their toddler.  She was so smart she'd be naked by the time she made it over there.  Right after she went to the bathroom again.

***

Greg got out of his car and trotted over, stopping to look at the wizards, peering under the bloody bandage.  "What did that and do you need an anti-venom?"  The wizard's lover glared at him.  "Keep it up, sparky.  I'm the good guy here."

"Matilda bit me," the wizard said, looking at his fellow potions master.  "She's the blue one.  I don't want to lose her but I can't keep her like this and I don't want to put her down yet."

"Then let me handle it.  Do you need an anti-venom?"

"No, I'll be fine.  I had one on hand.  Thank you, Gregory."   He looked around.  "No wife?"

"She's going for Penn.  Illusions are his thing, not mine," Greg said with a grin.  He trotted over to where Catherine was staring at the big beasts, past the others on their team, stopping to look at the blue one.  "Oh, you just had to be a dragon," he said bitterly.  "I have no idea who deals with you guys over here."  He put his hands on his hips, tapping his fingers as he considered it.  He patted himself down until he summoned the phone he had left at home, calling the father-in-law of the group, Arthur Weasley.  "Hey, Art, it's Greg.  Yeah, fine, no, big issues.  We've got a wizard here who keeps his own zoo for practical purposes.  He's got a big, non-flying blue dragon here who just bit him.  Is there *anyone* on this side of the lake to deal with them?"  He listened as Arthur put in an urgent call to Species.  "Shoot," he said simply, shaking his head. "Got any ideas?"  He listened, then shrugged. "If it works.  Please.  Yeah, I'll try the less original channels.  Thanks, man."  He hung up and touched his arm, bringing Xander at a jog, with Ron and Draco behind him.  He pointed at the dragon.  "Know anyone handy?"

"The twin's brother does dragons, I remember him from the Triwizard tournament," Draco noted.  He looked at the big thing.  "What's wrong with him?"

"Her, she's in heat," Ron said grimly.  "Make sure he takes an anti-venom.  They're poisonous in this stage."  He waved.  "Let me talk to the twins.  Stay here.  Xan, can you work on the illusion?  It's totally down and the cages are starting to fall apart.  Should have welded them," he said with a head shake.  He headed at a running apparation for the twins' shop, startling their wife so much she squeaked.  "Hello, love, we need Charlie and possibly Bill.  We're on vacation and I'm not sure what Alex has planned for the animals."

She blinked a few times.  "Ron?"

He looked down at himself, then back at her.  "I was on the beach," he defended.  "Dawn thought the speedo was cute."

"It is," she said with a snicker.  "Guys?  Bring the camera and call Charlie," she called back into the testing areas.  There was a loud thump and a wall bowed out momentarily.  "And leave the bludger alone!"

"Coming, dear," one of them said, bringing out the camera.  He paused, then handed it to her with a grin.  "Charlie, love?  Going for another of us?"

"No, dimwit, we just found a dragon in the open at Greg's."

"Ooh," the twin said, wincing.  "Poor thing.  And poor Cassandra too, being an orphan now."

"Not yet.  She's in heat," Ron said dryly.  He posed and Tipsy Ramvette-Weasley took a few pictures, then he helped the twins call their big brother.  "Hey, Charlie, got room for one more?  We've got a buddy in Vegas who's just had a personal use zoo come into the open.  The dragon bit him, she's in heat."

"What kind is she?"

"Long necked blue.  Wingless.  Mean shit right now too, looks like her first one."

"Coming.  Step back."  He stepped through and Bill followed, and both of them gave him a long look. "Comfy, Ron?"

"We were on the beach in Jamaica," he defended. "Dawn liked the hell outta them.  Come on.  I'll lead the way back.  We'll be putting on stronger spells.  Bill, Alex is there.  Sorry to break the vacation, Charlie."

"Not an issue, Ron.  People like that annoy the hell out of me.  Is he alive?"

"Still.  She only got him on the arm, a love bite."  He created a portkey.  "Hell of a ride," he warned, handing it over.  He waved and apparated back, making it a few minutes beforehand.  He ran into a warm back too.  "Ooops, sorry.  Alex, can I have some pants at least.  All my bros hate me at the moment because I'm built better."

"Sure," Greg said, handing over a spare pair of sweats.  "Clean 'em first please," he said, checking the dragon over.  "She's odd somehow and I don't know how."

Charlie appeared and fell to the ground panting.  "Bloody Hell, Ron!  Where is this?"

"The states," Ron said with a grin.

"Welcome to Vegas," Penn said with a smirk.  "You are?"

"Charlie and Bill Weasley," Ron said, pointing them out.  "You're fucking famous, mate. You're one of us?"  Penn smirked at him.  "Cool beans as the woman says."  He shook his hand and came over to help Alex with a cage.  "What is that thing?"

"A fucking bird, and it's landbound.  It's cruel and unusual punishment," he said grimly, glaring at the wizard, who flinched.  "Oh, really?"

"I'm a potion's master."  Like that explained everything in the world to him.

"Really?  'Cause I don't need those sort of helpers," Greg pointed out dryly.  "Neither does Snape."

"Yes, but some of us aren't filthy rich by our own hands," he snapped back.

"Enough, children," Penn said before Greg could retort.  "You can't keep them.  They've soaked up too much energy already.  That's dangerous for all of us.  No more animals for a good long time, even if you live through that."

Charlie walked over to test the wound.  "You took an anti-venom, what about the anti- charm? She's in heat."  The wizard looked stunned, looking at his mate.  "Then go lock yourself in the house, stay in there.  You," he said, looking at the mate. "He'll be in a fever to have sex.  Do not let him rut."

"Yes, sir.  Who are you?"

"Charlie Weasley.  I'm in conservation with dragons.  We've got a few of these.  Someone start a fire so I can call home?"  Alex started one without his wand, making everyone stare at him.  "Get along with the wandless brats do we?" Charlie asked dryly.

"Yeah, I've been living with them.  You learn a lot from playing kitten poker with demons," he said dryly, smirking at Bill.  "You should try it sometime, it's very informative."

A few people mouthed 'kitten poker' to each other, but Ron shook his head.  "Leave him alone.  He's a Dumass and a curse breaker.  He could be *much* worse."

"Growing up with Buffy should be enough of a warping influence," Greg snorted.  "The queen of vampire fashionability is not my favorite dinner companion."  Penn gave him an odd look.  "She's Ron's fiance's sister."

"I only met Buffy during my second time in school," Xander reminded them with an evil smirk.  "Ask Bill, I had been worse."

Bill Weasley nodded.  "He was. Never challenge that man to do something, he will.  He'll probably even enjoy doing it.  I know he did when we taunted him until he went in to pick on the mummy while naked."

Penn gave them all a look, then looked at Greg.  "They're your *friends*?" he asked.

"More or less," he said with a grin.  "More like family, kinda.  Sorta."

"Ah, them," Penn said, remembering the Banes very well from his last meeting with Tipsy.  "How is your sister-in-law, Ron?"

"Preggers and ignoring it," he said with a wicked grin.  "I still say she's having twins for each twin.  She's much bigger this time.  So's Emilia, Greg."

"Emilia's pregnant?" Draco asked happily.  "Good, I can watch the babies."  Everyone stared at him and he snorted.  "Hello, fellow consort veela here.  We can easily see power flows."

"So you're with Xander because you saw the power in him?" Ron taunted.  Draco glared at him so he smirked harder.  "What?  It makes sense."

"I'm with him because he can send me into orbit without getting pushy and he always has my pleasure in mind.  His skill and power are added bonuses," he said smugly.  "I doubt I could say the same about you."

"Dawn seems to think I do a good job of keeping her pleasure in mind," Ron countered.

"Guys, enough," Catherine said.  "There are adults here and none of us want to know that much about your sex lives.  Ron, isn't your girlfriend barely sixteen and therefore barely legal in only about half of the states?"  He nodded, starting to look defensive.

Penn gave her a long look.  "Actually, it's more interesting than what they print in the tabloids. He's second on the charts, next to his trouble buddy Potter.  Then comes his uncle and his former whoring ways, and how his consort veela changed that, and then quidditch players.  How is Mr. Wood, Ron?"

"Harry hasn't sent a letter yet but I'm sure he's fine.  He's too valuable to risk after all."

"I'd like to see him play against us," Draco said snidely.  "He's not that great."

"He's too pretty and too afraid of getting hurt," Xander reminded him with a pat on the back.  "I wouldn't mind playing him either.  He'd make a great target, but that means I'd have to cream Harry again."  He smirked at Ron.  "You're sure I didn't hurt you too bad that game against your house?"

"Sure, Alex.  It's quidditch, that's all that needs to be said.  The fact that you broke three ribs and my wrist is forgivable."  Everyone stared at him.  "It's *quidditch*."

"It's our only sport," Greg told them.  "Multiple balls, flying through the air.   Xan's really good.  Draco's not bad as a seeker, and Ron's a keeper."  He looked at the other beasties, then around. "What the crap are we doing about this?"

"We move them somewhere they won't be used," Charlie said firmly.  "It's the right thing."

"Good.  Are we needed?" Grissom asked.

"Nope.  It's tests of new animals for a casino," Greg told him.  "New mechanicals."

"Sure.  I like that idea.  As far as I'm concerned it is that," Sarah said as she headed for the car quickly.

Greg and Penn played 'rock/paper/scissors' to see who got to charm her this time.  She and he didn't get along and Greg liked her enough to only memory charm her and not take great pleasure from it most of the time.  Usually Penn won because he would make sure she remembered nothing of seeing him anywhere.  Penn won and with a cackle erased the whole day from her with glee and joy in his heart.  Penn grinned at the others.  "Anyone else?"

"Only if you can erase the image of our little brother in a speedo," Bill said bitterly.  "Alex, must you corrupt my baby brother the way you did me?" he complained.

Xander gave him a look.  "I'm not sleeping with him," he defended.  "Just teaching him everything I know so he can please Dawnie."

Charlie and Draco both gave him a look, then shook their heads.  They didn't want to know.  Catherine giggled and leaned against Gil's arm, making him shake his head in amusement.

"I'm not.  I promised to never share Draco and I can't cheat on him, he could suck all my lust dry for hours on end."

"I doubt anyone can do that, Mr. Dumass," Penn assured him. "It's too deep a well.  After all, you're infamous for that emotion."

"And then some," he agreed smugly.

"I've only seen one other wizard with that level of lust, and Kid just keeps going for the strippers," Penn sighed.  "I wish I had it, but I'm doomed to be smart."

"He's a wizard?" Ron gaped.  "Damn it!  Now I know I'm taking Dawn to the concert!  Xander, I'm having that night off, even if I do have to sleep with you for it."

"I'd never let you sink that low," Draco assured his consort with a pat on the arm.  "Go away, Ron."

"Fine, smart ass," he sighed, going to help his big brothers.  He wanted to show off for Bill and to seriously impress Charlie.  It would be nice to get some recognition for being 'Ron' instead of 'this one's brother'.  "Can I help so I don't beat Draco to death?"

"Sure, grab that bar and take down the cage," Bill said with a grin.  "You learned deconstruction yet?"

"Oh, yeah, we were practicing in the Chamber," Ron said lightly, going to take apart the seams of the cage.  "We were doing the stream to divert it, but is metal really that different?"  He tested the seams.  "Grab the other side of the top, Bill."  He struck at the magic binding the one joint in the back of the oddly shaped cage, making the sides fall apart, and the top come loose.  They caught the top and Ron got the side that was falling inward with his foot, letting Charlie get the creature with a sigh.  "It worked!"

"It did, but you could have hurt her, Ron."

"Sorry, little girl," he said, scratching the firm head. "You're shedding," he said, wiping the feathers off on his pants.  Greg gasped so he stopped.  "What?  Big magical components?"

"Yes!" he said with a strangled gasp, coming over to gather them.  "Olivander will pay dearly for these!"

"Good, get the third generation of us a school fund," Ron told him with a smirk.

Greg had such a hopeful look.  "Do you think they'll take 'San?" he asked in a breathless, worshipful tone of voice.

Ron gave him a long look, then grinned. "She'll have to.  How else will Joxer and Iolaus pounce her and get with her to date her?"

Greg gave him a small frown.  "I doubt it.  Tipsy said they can't date.  She's going to beat the child who dares to soil her precious little girl."

"So she's going to follow them on their honeymoons?" Draco asked.  "Might make for some awkward moments."

Xander gave him a shove.  "It's what good parents do.  That's why ours aren't and Molly's simply hoping for legitimate grandchildren.  It'd wear her out just watching Ron otherwise."

"Remember, you sleep," Ron said firmly, glaring at him.  "We're not having any little ankle biters.  I hate kids!"  He went to help Penn since Bill and Charlie looked like they were rolling their eyes.  "How are you doing that?"

"It's like a defensive wall, only it bends light," Penn told him.  "Pick a spot and try a small one, kid.  Get Draco to too.  He could use the practice."

"Yo, Malfoy, come do some real work," Ron called, smirking back at him.

"I still go by my married name, you stupid git," Draco complained as he walked over to help with the exercise.  He missed Xander and Penn sharing a grin and Xander winking in relief as he went to help the other adults.   "You do realize you left your girl on a beach full of cute men?" he taunted.

"Yeah, and she'll take full advantage of it to have more suntan oil put on," he said with a shrug. "I trust Dawn.  She trusts me, even though we both still look.  I don't have to threaten to suck her dry even in playing."

"Good, because otherwise you'd be one toasty brother," Alex called.

"We'd help too, right after we stole her," Bill agreed. "Think she'd like you or me better, Charlie?"

Charlie gave him a look.  "You probably.  She's in the same field.  I spend too much time out in the field.  Dragons don't like to watch humans mate, they think we're disgusting. That's why they do it in front of us, to teach us better."

"Some of us perfected the art," Xander said smugly.  "We only need wings."

"I've heard you can use a broom for that," Catherine said smugly.

"Yeah, but then you have to have two excellent fliers," Xander said blandly.  "I could teach Draco how to do that, and probably will some day while I'm bored, but that's the advanced lessons."   Draco gaped at him.  "It is."

"It probably is," he agreed.  "I only put someone in front of me on my broom."

"It's much more interesting with two brooms," Xander said with a grin.  "I learned it from an exchange student from Constantinople."  He went back to helping gather up the animals.  "Charlie, a healer and others in the other fields?"

"Oh, yeah."  He went to the fire to call his home base, getting the healer to come running and his boss called other preserves to get them some help.

"Bloody potions masters!" the healer said as he came out of the fire.

"Hey!  Some of us don't need this shit," Greg shouted back.  "Some of us can *buy* ours."  The healer glared at him so he glared back.  "I'll have you know that I work on healing potions mostly, little boy."  The healer backed off, going over to Charlie and giving him a look.

"That's Greg Sander's, he's a friend of the family, especially Ron and the twins," he explained.  "Hey, Dumass, she'll bite," he warned.

"She's got that same feeling as a tomb."

"Spores," the healer moaned, shaking his head.  "We can't move her back, Charlie."

"If we don't she'll die," he pointed out.

"Okay, spores first," Xander decided.   "Like mold?"

"Like mold, but it's a particular form and it's like chicken pox for the dragons," Charlie noted. "Only their eggs can come out funny that time and it's contagious."

"So put her with one who's already had them and give her the antidote.  I've got a ton of anti-sporifics if you want.  We get them all the time in the tombs."

"Do you have anything that works on that specifically?" the healer asked.  Xander pulled the kit he had stashed at Greg's so he could see all of what he worked with.  The healer gave him a long look. "You're like Bill then?"  Xander nodded as he started to pull out bottles, handing them over.

After fifteen of them he stopped and stood up with one last one.  "That's a general I know," he admitted.

The healer tested the contents in the others, finding another broad spectrum that might not be too bad.  He dosed the poor thing, or tried to anyway.  She didn't seem to like the taste a whole lot.  Then he found another one that he pulled out, handing the others back. "It's the best we can do.  Even if these eggs go wrong, we can always try again. How do we get this down her throat?"

"Dust some grass," Charlie told him.  "We do it in the field all the time."  He grabbed some sweet hay and came back to get the dust, liberally sprinkling it for her over half of it.  Then he fed her some of the treated and more of the clean until she'd eaten it all.  "There, good girl," he soothed, patting her on the side.  She let out a whimper so he scratched the base of her neck gently.  "You'll be an easy one to train, you don't steam people and you're very loving."  The other conservation people showed up and quickly claimed their species and anything related that was leftover, leaving them to move the dragon and one bird.  "How are we going to move you back, girl?  You're oozing null-magic like you wouldn't believe."

"Easy, we do the camp moving spell," Bill told him.  Alex shrugged and put everything back into his bag, handing it to Greg, who grinned at him for it.  "Thanks, Alex."

"Not an issue.  I had copies of everything with Greg in case I got stuck over here somehow."  He whistled, brining his consort and apprentice.  "That's three cursebreakers.  Can we do three?"

"We'll need four," Draco said, looking at the dragon.  "Unless you can sedate her?"

Charlie shook his head.  "Won't work at this stage.  She'll be jumped by a few dragons as soon as we reappear.  So, who do we need?"

"Either another of my apprentices, or another breaker who uses that spell," Xander said thoughtfully.  "It takes days to teach the thing."

"I still don't get it," Draco admitted.  "I keep thinking too deep on the displacement."  Bill nodded, looking like he understood that.  "Dawnie or Potter?"

"Potter," Alex sighed, going to call him. "Harry, love," he called out, using his floo's codes.  "Hey, Harry, we've got to move a dragon and we're at least one short for the moving spell.  Can we borrow you for a few hours?"

"Sure, not an issue.  Stand aside.  Where are you guys?"

"Vegas."

"Ah.  Coming through.  Sorry, coach, be right back, in about an hour!"  He stepped into the floo, coming out a few minutes later patting himself down.  "Damn, I hate that we have dispensation to move so far around the world.  It's unnerving sometimes to see the water go past."  He looked up at the dragon, smiling.  "Aren't you a pretty one," he cooed, making her preen and shift some.  "Ah, you're in heat.  Hagrid would love you, sweetheart.  Which is my side?"

"Take the tail.  Ron the other side, Bill the nose.  Make sure to wrap the bubble around everything and aim for a space so she won't come out of it," Xander ordered, taking the last side. It was broader and he wanted the more powerful people to be doing those, but he wanted Bill doing the head in case she moved suddenly.  He built up his part of the bubble, merging it with the others as they were constructed, then he concentrated on the spell.  "Now!" he shouted, moving with the spell.  Ron landed a few minutes later, already asleep.  "We have got to work on your timing, Ron," he decided.  He moved Harry back to the camp with a wave for the coaches.  "Sorry, needed his skills."  Then he disappeared again, going back to Vegas.  "Anything else you need our help with?" he asked Greg, who snickered and shook his head.  Xander stripped back down to his bathing suit and handed over the borrowed clothes.  "That way you can get any and all spores, scales, or feathers off me."  He waved and disappeared, going to save Dawn from the admiring boys.  She was only sixteen after all.

Charlie had to pull Ron out of the way as a dragon came flying in.  "Shoo, she's a girl too!" he shouted, waving at her.  She squawked angrily then flew off.  "Oh, wonderful.  At least her guy's not too bad.  Then he'll let her go to her own kind."  He got Draco out of the way as the large, black, winged dragon came flying in and immediately mounted her. "That's the wrong hole," he noted to the dragon. "You'll hurt her, get off!"  He fired a lazy bolt at the dragon, spooking him enough that he did get off, making her sigh and wiggle even more.  Another male came up, this one like her only more teal than blue, and mounted her correctly, latching onto her back.  "Good job.  Much better.  Walk her off now," he said, making shooing motions.

Draco gave him a look.  "Is it always like that?"

"With them.  The flying ones put on incredible shows for us when they mate, but these guys pounce, swell up inside her, and then latch onto her back until she's out of heat.  He'll work her properly, she'll nap, wake up cranky, he'll shift some until she realizes what he's doing, and then the cycle will start over," he said with a grin as his newest baby waddled off with her burden on her back.  She snapped back at him.  "He's trying to help.  Curt, do it more, buddy.  She'll need it, it's her first time."  The male dragon humped her harder, making her pause and then go limp under him again with a moan. " See?  She'll be fine and he'll unswell once the chemicals from her being in heat dissipate.  That's what they're there for."  He clapped Draco on the back.  "Can you take Ron?"

"Of course I can," he said bitterly.  "Don't I always seem to?  It's my life's desire to cart him around."  He grimaced and turned Ron into a portkey, sending them both back to the resort.  Dawn could uncharm him if she wanted.

Charlie shook his head.  "My brother is nuts to live like that."  He disappeared, going to his mother's for the rest of his vacation.  Bill met him in the garden and handed over a beer.  "She not here?"

"At the market, Dad left 'em.  He knew how trying Ron can be some days," he said with a smirk.

Charlie snorted.  "How did you learn anything from that man?"

"He slips the lessons in between the jokes and the pranks," Bill said with a grin.  "You don't even realize he's doing it until you need it."  He finished his beer and put the bottle down just as his mother appeared.  "Hi, mam."

"Hey, mum," Charlie agreed, grinning at her.  "We've just gotten a new dragon."

"Good for you, dear."  She kissed them both on the cheeks.  "Those bottles had better find their way into the trash.  Ginny's at the Dumass's right now helping with their unicorn."  She breezed into the kitchen.  "I'm going to bake the twins some cookies so they can feed them to Tipsy.  Would either of you like to help?"

"Sure, mum," they agreed, coming in to help her cook and to chat with her.  It wasn't often they got her alone these days.

***

Xander stalked the giggling creature like he would a vampire, eventually plunging his arms around the small, wiggling body until she squealed and fought his ruinous grip.  "Got you," he said happily, making Cassandra squeal and wiggle in his hands.  "Yes, the Uncle has you," he said, making a silly face at her.  "Who has you?  The uncle does."  She kicked and laughed some more.  "You look like a frog when you do that."  He kissed her on the forehead, taking her back to his seat by the pool.  "Daddy said you can't swim without him being here, Cassandra, or I'd let you.  Now, sit here and let Uncle Alex tell you about the big, huge doggy creature he saw last night."  She cooed, liking his voice.  "It was big and huge and slobbery, and it slobbered all over Ron," he said, grinning down at her as he tickled her.  She squealed again, grabbing his fingers to play with.  "It wanted to eat the Ron, but the Uncle Alex was smarter and faster and got it onto its back for belly scratches, thereby saving the Ron and the Dawn, and possibly the Draco as well since he was watching in fascinated horror."

"Don't tell her that," Ron complained.  "It was stupidity I know, but it was handled."

"Yeah, by him having to show his skills off yet again," Draco said bitterly.  "Alex, I demand that we either have a real vacation or I'm going to have to pout."  Ron grimaced at him.  "What!  We aren't!  We go to the Caribbean.  There's an emergency, which I don't mind.  We help, we go back to lounging in the sun.  The local curse breakers want Alex's opinion on something so we end up in the middle of a shipwreck guarding the treasure from pirates.  We move our happy little family to Brazil.  We lounge for a few days and then one of the local curse breakers has an emergency and nearly dies, so they call in Alex, so we get to see the fabled temples of wherever," he said with a wave of his hand.  "Which didn't get us anything more than some blisters from our boots because the whole place has been scoured eons ago and the local breaker was in it for the pictograms.  We move to Geneva," he went on, making Ron moan.  "We're there a whole day when the local Gringotts is broken into and we're *all* called into service to use our unique finding abilities to find what was stolen which lets the auror-like scary people who retrieve the lost or stolen items do their jobs.  We come here and I'm waiting for a new emergency.  You promised us a year off and I want my vacation.  I just spent the last seven years fighting Potter and Weasley!"

"That wasn't the war the rest of us fought, you can't claim veteran status," Ron said dryly.

"I helped in the final battle too, then I had to deal with Hufflepuffs for the rest of the year!" he said hysterically.  "Do you know what that did to my nerves?  Having to deal with happy and cheerful little horny creatures all the time?"

"It was like the prozac pod people from the planet hippie," Xander agreed.  "I don't remember Woodstock having that much sex."

"The leaving feast get a bit warm up there?" Emilia asked as she strolled out to join them.  She waved at her cooing daughter.  "She likes you."

"It's a temporary thing so you can ball Greg's brains out," he reminded her firmly.  "This is in payment for him redoing our field kits without charging us an arm and a leg."

She grinned. "He had fun collecting the three pubic hairs he needed for a few things," she said smugly.  "You know, if you could talk your son into the family business, Sev would be the only one of you breakers who'd have a full kit all the time."

"Yeah, but he'd only be in it for the knowledge and you get looked at funny if you're out there to learn from things."

"Did you?" she asked with a grin.

He nodded.  "All the time, and I'm still getting it."

"Is that what that goblin was talking about?" Ron asked from his seat beside the pool.  He needed some sun badly.  He was pasty and pale.

"Yup."  Emilia made a 'go on' motion.  "The goblin we handed the dog spirit over to last night asked me what I had learned from the temple walls in Brazil.  I told him I had learned the proper angle for the sun to be at so you could sacrifice a virgin to the old gods, then I gave him a long look."  He smirked.  "He backed off rather quickly so apparently he's not mated yet."

"What is with that?" Draco asked.

"Their sexual organs don't ...flourish until they're mated.  They're activated during the wedding.  Before that, they're at the same level as little kids only as grownups."

"So, goblins can't fool around before the wedding?" Ron asked.  Xander nodded.  "Doesn't that make it boring and how do they know if they like the person enough for that?"

"They're all the same, Ron.  There's no difference there.  It's a species difference.  That's why you'll only find young goblins in the field, the ones who are searching for a mate.  It wins them prestige and therefore a woman who'll be able to make him work."

Emilia giggled.  "That's so odd.  Then again they are goblins."  She picked up her daughter to nuzzle.  "Have you been a good girl, 'San?"

"Sure, I can handle vampires and monsters, I can handle one kid for a few hours.  Aren't you supposed to be at dinner?"

"The sheriff wanted Greg.  They've just busted a dealer and he can't make heads or tails of any of the formulas lying around, and since they don't have any real drugs from the bust, they needed something.  So my pookie bear is there."   She sat next to him.  "So we'll let you watch her again later, when he gets back, so I can bang him then."

"Hey, that's a worthy goal," Xander agreed.  "I try for that nightly with Draco too."

"You'd have to, otherwise he'd get so horny he'd eat you," she said dryly.  "I had so much more control at that age."

"You're a girl," Draco pointed out.  "You would."

"True," she admitted.  "I've heard from your mother.  She's being courted by a muggle who won't take 'no' for an answer and has gone to Methos for help.  The muggle's still not catching the hint."  Draco glared across the pool.  "So you guys might wanna pop in on the prof soon."

"That can be our next stop," Xander agreed.  "I haven't seen the head office in a while from the outside."

"As long as we get a real vacation, Alex," Draco said firmly.  "And I do mean a non- working one."  He scowled at his mate, making Cassandra giggle at him.  "Thank you, love, just destroy my illusions of being scary."

"That's what kids are for," Emilia said happily.  "So, Draco, come see if you can see the kid.  I want to work on names and maybe the colors will give us an area to look in."  He trotted over, sitting beside her on the lounger, staring at her stomach.  He gasped and touched her stomach.  "What?  Bad, good?  Full veela?"

"There's green and blue swirls, then there's orange and yellow ones," he breathed, tracing the places where they were flowing and overlapping.  She moaned.  "So either it's a very broad spectrum wizard or you've got twins.  This is amazing."  He continued to trace the energy whorls around the babies, removing all the cramps from her stomach from the gentle rubbing.

Xander put the baby down and pulled his consort away from the stomach.  "Let the babies sleep," he said at the hurt look.  "'Mil?"

"Twins?" she squeaked.

"Or one that's really strong," Draco agreed.  "The orange and yellow swirls aren't as strong.  You need to see a mediwitch."

"Oh, we are so going to the doctor's tonight," she agreed, standing up and catching her daughter as she escaped.  "No helping Ron suntan, his girlfriend will get upset."  She looked around.  "Where is Dawn?  I expected her to be squealing over my stomach."

"Emilia, it's August sixteenth," Draco said gently.  "She's shopping."

"Ah.  Good enough then.  I'm sure Potter can and will protect her."  She strode off, going to pounce her husband and kill him for this.  She found him in the middle of Grissom's office.  "Twins?" she demanded. "You wanted twins?"

"No, I was thinking really hard about having boys," he said softly, looking confused, until his brain caught her words.  He fell to his knees and clutched her around the stomach, rubbing his cheek against them. "Twins," he moaned.  "Oh, Gods, you're so wonderful!"

Grissom chuckled and got up to leave them alone.  "How did you find out?"

"Draco and I both do really well with power flows.  He caught the two different ones."  She rolled her eyes.  "Greg, has it become obvious yet that I'm a bit old to be having twins?"

"Shh, let me commune, they need to know the daddy," he whispered, continuing to rub and hum to the babies.

Grissom walked out and closed the door behind him, shaking his head at the sheriff coming up the hall.  "Greg just found out they're twins.  He's communing with her stomach."  The sheriff grimaced but he couldn't break that up.  "Catherine?"  She came out of Greg's lab.  "It's twins."  She smirked and went back to work.  "Give him an hour?"

"I've got a news crew coming."

"Well, they can wait.  They're used to it," Grissom reminded him, walking him back out of the area.  He paused to watch Sarah hum 'I'm a little teapot' over and over again while she worked.  He blinked a few times.  "I think it's time she took her vacation," he said, continuing the sheriff on until he could send him away.  "Come back in an hour."  He hurried back inside, going to stop Sarah.  "What are you doing?"

"I was listening to some woman's blaring stereo on the way in and this was the track under the rap song, now it's stuck in my head," she complained.  "Why would someone rip that for a rap track?"

"Who knows," he said, patting her on the back. "Take some of your vacation, Sarah, please.  That way you can relax and forget all about it."  He went back to his office, finding Warrrick staring at the door.   "It's twins."

"Oh."  He nodded.  "Good thing then.  The doc wanted Greg."

"Greg, you're still working, you can go to lunch soon," he called, tapping on the door.  Emilia squealed and he shook his head.  "Don't do that in my office, Greg!"

"I'm not," he said as he opened the door.  "The baby just kicked her."  He gave them a smug look.  "Twins.  I am the man."

"Well, the man, doc wants you," Warrick said dryly, getting out of the way.  "Congratulations, Emilia.  Should we worry about him if he disappears?"

"No, I can hide a body better than most of the idiots you guys see," she said, glaring at her husband's back.  "This means twice as much labor pains, Greg."

He kissed her on the back of the hand.  "For which you'll be in the hospital with pain killers this time and I won't even let the Prof deliver them for you."  He smirked at her then trotted off to go back to work.  He'd nail her during lunch.  Then they could celebrate all day since didn't have to work tomorrow night.

"The sheriff needs a report too, Greg," Grissom called after him.

"Sure, boss."

Emilia sighed and stomped off.  Why was everyone so happy about this?  She went to gather up Draco and take him to Tipsy's.  If she had to be miserable, so did her best friend.  "There, check her stomach," she demanded, waking up the twins.

The twins got out of the way as Draco sat on their wife's thighs and stared down at her stomach, then grinned when he burst out laughing and nodded.  He smirked at his cousin.  "Blue and green, and black and red."

"Blue and green power flows are normal, they're in water," Fred said.  "The baby books all said so."

"Black and red?  It's a fire person?" George asked.  "Bloody hell, wife!"

"Plus there's a dark spot," Draco noted, tracing it.  "It could be where they're fraternal, but then again it could be one hiding."  She pushed him off so she could run and cry.  "I'd stop that, guys."  They ran after her to soothe and love her. He smirked at his cousin. "You're matching?"

"She had twins the first time and they're all twins," she reminded him.  "I'm not!"

"It's not unheard of for veela twin births," Draco pointed out.  "Usually it means it's a boy and a girl.  It seems to be the only way boys are born."  He lounged on the bed smirking at her.  "Was Greg happy?"

"Yes," she said bitterly.  "Tipsy, come on, we'd better go see a healer now," she called.  "I want to make sure I'm not alone in the misery of having twins."  One of the twins disengaged from his wife's side to hug her too.  "Thanks, Fred."

"George."

"Whichever.  You're basically one guy in two bodies anyway."  She pulled Tipsy up.  "St.  Mungos?"

"Yes!  I want to know what that black spot was."

"Like I said, if I have to be in misery having twins, so do you," she repeated, taking her with her by portkey.

"Bloody hell, she's having twins too?" Fred asked.

"How did we infect her?" George asked.  "We haven't slept with her."

Draco came out laughing.  "It's known to happen and one's probably a boy. It seems to be the only way we're born."

"You were a twin?"

"Mine died at birth," he said coolly.

"Sorry, Draco."  The twins gave him a hug.  "Was it a bad thing?"  He shrugged.

"You couldn't tell?" the other one asked.  Draco shook his head again.

"Then we should get dressed...."

"They'll need us," the other finished.  They ran to put on something vaguely resembling clothes and head for the hospital.

Draco got himself back to Emilia's house and fell down to nap for a bit.  "Tipsy's having twins too," he told whichever person was trying to wake him up.  "Cousin's with her."

"I should pout," Greg complained.  He touched his arm, sending dirty thoughts at his wife, making her blush where the doctor was examining her.  She filled him in and he smirked.  "Oh, Molly's going to freak," he said happily.  He found Xander in the kitchen with his daughter.  "Are we cooking again?" he asked, kissing her.  "How would you like to be a big sister?  You'll be a very good one, 'San."

"How's Tipsy?"

"Draco said twins.  They're at the hospital because there was a dark spot again."  He leaned against the counter.  "Are you guys staying tomorrow too?"

"If you need us too, if not I was going to head home for a few days so we can see Dawn off and make a big deal of her."  He grinned at him.  "I guess that depends on you needing a sitter."

"We probably could use one," he agreed with a smirk.  "Twins."

"With veelas, that usually means that one's a boy.  They always seem to happen in pairs."

"Draco was a twin?"

"Draco's twin died during childbirth," Xander said quietly.  "His father wouldn't let her go to the hospital."

"Good thing he's dead."

"Very," Xander said smugly.  "Still won't save him from some of the demons I know."  He smirked and went back to making the little girl a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, handing over the little triangles with a flourish. "There you go, even you sized," he offered, putting her back onto the floor so she could toddle off and eat.

Greg put her in the high chair when she pouted, letting her have the saucer with the sandwich pieces on it.  She already knew you only ate at the table.  His angel was so smart!  "You're good at this, Alex."

"Only for short times, then my temper or my creativity run out."  He shrugged. "I know my strengths, Greg.  I make a great babysitter and uncle, but a sucky parent."  He handed over another sandwich.  "Because you'll probably need it," he said with a grin

Blair landed in the entryway and dragged his tired, depressed body into the dining room to hug Xander. "I suck."

"You don't suck," he soothed, patting him on the back.  "I don't take you for someone who likes to suck."

Blair snorted, standing up.  "Jim found his woman, his 'one'," he said bitterly.  "So I got to train my replacement and then Simon and I had to break up because the Chief was threatening his job.  My whole life is one sucking void at the moment.  Hey, 'Sandra."  He kissed her on the head when she smiled at him.  It was only proper to worship the darling little one.  "Now I have no idea what to do with my Ph. D."

"Then you go to Dumbledore and see if he's got a spot open," Greg advised.  "After all, you're a teacher."

Blair's whole face brightened.  "I can, can't I?"  He smiled at him. "Thanks, Greg."

"Welcome, Blair.  You can hide here, but there'll be noise after I get off work.  She's having twins."

"Gods," Blair breathed.  "Twin little Emilia and Gregs?  The world may end."

"Not funny, Sandburg."

"Sorry, couldn't resist," he said with a grin.  He looked at Xander.  "How's the vacation?"

"Each and every place we go, there's problems," he noted.

Ron came jogging out of the tv room.  "There's a magical hostage situation in town," he panted. "The concert Dawn couldn't go to."

"Crap," Greg sighed, calling Grissom.  "It may not be a normal hostage situation," he said over the staticky reception.  "I'm coming back.  Where?"  He stood up.  "Deal."  He hung up and kissed his little girl on the head, then left without changing.  He always had his wand on him these days.  He felt Ron following and looked at him.  "No way, kid. Only the cops.  There's a few others in town."

"Yes!" Draco shouted.  "We're not needed!"

"That's why you two are staying here with the baby," Xander said firmly, "and I'm going."  He looked at Greg.  "I'll simply follow you.  I've been held hostage before and I can slip in where you guys can't."

"Fine, Grissom can yell at you," Greg decided.  It was wasting time.  He drove them to the area, pulling out his CSI badge when a uniformed cop opened his mouth.  "Grissom?"

"East entrance, sir," he said, pointing. "Your friend?"

"Psychological warfare," he said grimly.   He jogged that way, finding Nick first. "How many hostage takers?"

"Just two but SWAT can't get in," Nick said, looking at Xander.  "You brought one of them?"

"Try arguing with him sometime."  He pushed his way to Grissom's side.  "Okay, what's going on?  I can feel the shield."

Xander tested it then nodded once.  "There's a weak spot.  He only laid it against the ground, not into it.  That means it's pooled, like a tent."

Grissom looked at him.  "How do you do that?"

"How do you think we break into tombs?" he retorted.  "Sometimes with other things waiting in there for us."  He looked around.  "Am I taking anyone on my circuit?"

"No," Grissom said.  "It's too dangerous to the people inside."

"Unless he's got weapons, he can't do more than one cast at a time and I'm guessing the wizards in there can block him."  He looked at the building.  "He sectioned it, there's a joining at the top," he said after studying the power flows.  He felt a small seam and smirked.  "He left himself an out.  There's a spot here that's weak."  He turned and found a few cops behind him.  "Turn around, guys, this is a strange new weapon."  Brass looked at him.  "Okay, except for you, then you can explain it to them."  He lifted his wand and a dagger, working them together to split the seam without warning the wizard, getting them inside the parting of the magical 'walls'.  He opened it wider.  "In."  The cops rushed past and he followed at a trot, taking a course that would get him behind the stage.  He fired a quiet hex at the wizard, making him fall to his knees and release his stolen power, then a second one to knock him out.  He came out.  "His talisman, the thing that was talking to him, is the wooden thing.  Put it into a wooden box and keep it in one," he ordered as he came out.

Brass gave him a look.  "Which friend are you?"

"Alex."

"Oh."  His eyes widened.  "I've heard of you.  Thank you, sir.  Please stay nearby so we can take a statement."  He helped drag the kid out.

The rockstar on stage looked at him.  "Who?"

"Alex Dumass," he said with a grin, holding out a hand. "One of my proteges is a big fan, sir."

"Thanks."  He shook it.  "We're doing this concert over again tomorrow night.  Wanna come?  Backstage and everything?"

"Ron would die," he breathed, hugging him.  "Thanks, man.  I'll go tell him.  Have a better night.  There shouldn't be any more in town."  He jogged off and disappeared, going to tell Ron.

Kid Rock shook his head.  "Wow.  That's one strong guy," he told his bodyguard, a fellow wizard.  "I didn't even feel him come in."

"You probably wouldn't.  Do you know who that was?" he asked as he led his boss away.  The concert would be done again tomorrow night, with better security.  "That's Carnage."

"Huh."  He smirked.  "From what I hear, he's got a real taste for the ladies.  Who's Ron?"  His bodyguard rolled his eyes and handed over a tabloid sitting on the table, making him gasp.  "He's training Weasley?"

"Yeah, and Potter's guarding Weasley's girlfriend for him," he said smugly.  "Or dating, the press can't decide which."

"Shit, give them full access passes, send them to the cops so they can find him again.  I'm sure someone down there knows him."

"Yeah, I've noticed one of the CSI people outside is one of us," one of the roadies noted.  "Are you okay, Kid?"

"Fine, how are the kids he sucked off of?"

"Being taken away.  It looks like simple power drains so they'll be fine in a few hours with some rest and some juice.  Should we tear down the set?"

"No, leave it up.  We're doing the whole show over tomorrow night."  The roadie nodded, taking the orders off to the rest of the crew.  He looked at his bodyguard.  "I'm surprised that there's so many of us in town."

"We can hide in plain sight," an amused voice said as he walked in.  "Are you all right?  Alex didn't scare you?"  Kid Rock smirked at him and shook his head.  "Good.  He's a scary man.  Showed up the first time I met him in a speedo.  They're on vacation after a year of school.  He had to go be with Hufflepuffs.  Speaking of, are you thinking about doing Britain?  The World Cup is next year and they could probably use a halftime show.  Greg knows people in their Ministry."

"He's well connected."

"More like some of his buddies are the kids of a Minister," Penn noted.  "They're all Banes."  Kid gaped and swallowed.  "So, yeah, you probably could get permission for a show over there and I know one odd little Ravenclaw who'd love to go.  She's teaching all the Hufflepuffs 'street'."

He laughed, shaking his head.  "Good for her.  I'll consider it.  How did you get in?"

"Magic," he said smugly.  "What else would they expect from me?"

"Good point.  Sit, let's relax before they come back here to ask awkward questions."

"Offer to talk to Brass.  He knows."  Penn sat down across from him.  "You know, I didn't get to meet Dawn."

"She'll be here tomorrow night," the bodyguard said.  "Alex said Ron was a big fan and had wanted to come tonight."

"I'm betting if Ron had been here, the guy wouldn't have done more than pause the show," Kid noted. "Next time, let's send the guy to sleep like Alex did.  It'd be easier."

"It would.  He's a damn good brawler," Penn agreed.  "Then again, Carnage should be."  They all nodded at that.  A uniformed officer came in and Penn looked at him.  "Mr. Rock's really tired and would like to head out to get drunk.  Is Detective Brass taking statements yet?"

"I'll check, sir."  He ran off, going to tell Brass that the star wanted to cooperate and was being polite.  "Sir, Mr. Penn asked if you were busy or ready to take statements," he told Brass, saluting.

"Sure, I can do that," he agreed, following the kid back.  "Go help, kid."  The officer ran off so he walked in alone.  "Tired?"

"I want a drink and I figured you'd want me before I did that," Kid noted with a grin.  "Ask away."

Brass sat down and pulled out his notepad to take notes.  "All right, when did you notice him?"

***

Ron strolled into Madam Malkins and grinned at the ladies there.  "Sorry, ladies, but I need her more."  A few of them cooed and sighed at the romantic nature of the request.  "I've got us concert tickets for Vegas tonight," he said with a grin.  "Since Alex pulled his knight act and all."  She squealed and hugged him as hard as she could.  He stroked her back.  "Hurry up and find something naughty for me tonight.  We'll spend some of my paycheck that I'm not using and spend the night while Draco and Alex go off on their own for a romantic dinner."  She let him go and whispered in the fitter's ear, getting a smirk and a nod, so she was let out of her uniforms and she paid, sending them all to the house with a note for her aunt so they wouldn't worry.  Then she skipped off with Ron.  "Tipsy's having twins again, and there's no unhealthy third one so the doc said she shouldn't have any problems."  The saw a crowd and sidestepped into a doorway, watching who they were mobbed around.  "Hey, it's Wood."  He dragged her over.  "Oliver!"  Oliver turned and grinned, letting Harry out of his protective grasp before they went into the broom shop.  "Harry!"  He clapped him on the back and gave him a strong hug.  "We've missed you.  We've gotten into trouble all summer without you."

Harry laughed.  "I'm sure you have, Ron.  You always seem to get into trouble with my uncle."  Ron snickered, nodding.  "Where you off to?"

"Concert tonight.  You?"

"Polish.  Hey, Dawn.  I'm sending you tickets to any of the games you can get free for.  That way I can check up on you afterwards for the big git.  Got it?"  She nodded, beaming at him.  "Good girl.  We'd best go before the reporters show up."  They ran their separate ways, heading off to run the necessary errands.  Harry beamed at Oliver.  "Sorry, that was Dawn.  She's Hufflepuff's keeper now.  Ron's training her.  She's not half bad."

"Good.  She still think it's a game?"  Harry nodded, smirking at him.  "I'm sure he'll be able to convince her otherwise soon," he said with a clap on the back.  "Ron looked bulky.  He's really grown since the last time I saw him."

"Yeah, he has," Harry agreed.  "And he's got a tan!"  He walked in with a grin for the salesclerk.  "I need some of Finnigan's bristle polish and a giant tub of Elixir polish for my handle.  That way I don't have to brave everyone out there again."  The clerk stared at him in awe and Oliver burst out in giggles.  "Please don't do that," Harry pleaded.  "I promise, I'm a normal wizard."  The clerk shook himself and went to get the things for him, and Harry made sure he paid the correct price for it.  It'd be noted and talked about otherwise.  Then he drug Oliver out the back door and out of Diagon by a hardly used exit.  He looked at him as they walked up the street.  "I hate that."

Oliver patted him on the back.  "So do I, but sometimes it's funny when it happens to the others.  I enjoy the hell outta you getting it for once.  Plus, no one tried to rip off our clothes."  A few of the people around them gave him an odd look.  "In joke," he said, making them run away.  He nudged Harry and they disappeared into an alleyway to apparate back to the camp.  The coaches looked at their watches in unison, then at them.  "Harry got mobbed in Diagon.  I saw Dawn upclose.  She was clinging to his arm and nearly vibrating against him."

"She's getting my courtesy tickets," Harry told his coach.  "I promised to watch over her while Ron was off getting into trouble."

"We'll make sure the press knows that you're not stealing her," the head coach said firmly.  "Got it?"

"Everything," Harry said, pulling out the other bags they had retrieved before the crowd had surged and found them.  "I wonder what concert they're going to."  Someone handed over a paper on the way past him.  "Oh, hey, Kid Rock.  I remember Luna talking about him."  He walked off reading it.  This was better than Ron's stories about what they had done because of all the inaccuracies.  "Oops, they've got Dawn preggers again."  He went to call the paper, startling the editor.  "Hey.  Dawn's not pregnant.  The twins are pregnant."  He turned off the floo and went back to his reading, using his wand to put everything up.

***

Ron woke up the next morning and found a paper on his chest with a bow on it.  "Bloody bastards," he complained as he sat up.  He opened it and the headline screamed 'Weasley twins pregnant!  Men break the barrier finally!'  He groaned and shook his head.  "Harry!"

"Better them than me," Dawn quipped from beside him.

Meetings, Greetings, and Asskickings.

Ron walked Dawn back into Diagon since that's where most of the other students were and she wanted to see if she could find Luna or Ginny today.  They paused outside the twin's store, both of them shaking their heads at the banner that proudly proclaimed 'Our wife is pregnant so we're having a sale to clear room for her to create during mood swings'.   "Poor Harry.  When they get hold of him, he's going to wish he had rephrased that."  Dawn chuckled and dragged him in there to pounce Luna.  "Hey, Luna," Ron said patiently.

"Morning, Ron.  You look phat."

"Thanks, babe.  Many, many beaches gave me this glow."  He patted Dawn on the back and went to check in with his brothers, and his mother since she was helping.  "How many times has Harry apologized?" he asked his mother.

"Twice now, once in print."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "You look fit, dear."

"Thanks, I tried all summer to relax but work kept popping up."  She gave him a look. "Alex promised us a vacation to recover from school and to finish learning all the neat stuff he knows."  He ducked a flying plate, going back to stop Tipsy's fit.  "Hey, now, that's no way to treat me when I show up with my girl and actually clothed this time," he said with a grin and a hug for her.  She gave him a shove but he didn't mind.  "You might ask Bill if there's a way for them to carry the little future people."

"He said I'd have to ask Alex, that would be dark magic and he doesn't like to deal with it," she said bitterly.  "Then Snape sent me a basket of potions for hemorrhoids."  She sniffled.  "He's a mean git, Ron."  He let her cry on his shoulder, patting her on the back.  "Go make fun of him!"

"I will," Ron promised.  "I'll even get Draco in on it, love.  You just relax and rest.  You shouldn't have to be so upset at the moment. Not until the two who're already born start to wander."  He got her settled into a chair with her feet up and a drink in her hand, plus a few books and a clean notebook beside her. "There, how's that?" he asked with a fatherly grin.

"Can I have the soft blankie too?"

"Sure, love."  He got it for her and she curled up to read for a while.  "Where are your idiots?"

"In the lab and out front.  They're stocking while your mum runs the registers."

"That's fine then."  He gave her a kiss on the top of the head then went to find the twins.  "I got her settled down and in the comfy chair with a blanket, a drink, and a few good books, plus a notebook," he said quietly.

"Thanks, Ron.  I didn't know what to do about that!"

"Easy, now you prank Snape since he's the one who sent the hemorrhoid potions."  Molly snorted.  "A whole basket of them."

"With a card that said since we were going to be giving him more pains in the ass soon, that we should at least be able to cure hers," the other twin said as he joined them.  "It didn't sound a thing like him."

"Flitwick?"

"Possibly, or McGonagall," Ron said thoughtfully, looking at his mother. "Or possibly Draco."  He shrugged.  "Trace it back somehow and make her laugh with them."  He patted them on the back.  "Where's Luna and my girl now?"

"Ice cream shop," Molly said.  She kissed him on the forehead.  "You behave, Ron.  I want to hear from you more often than I do Bill."

"This year we'll be at the house on and off," he reminded her gently, getting free to jump his girlfriend.   They were easily found and he pounced her with a big grin. "Someone was really tasteless.  They sent her a whole basket of hemorrhoid cream in Snape's name."

"That does bite," Dawn agreed.  Luna grinned at them.  "She's got good news."

"Ethan ate the person above him to move up the hierarchy?"

"No, Wesley's back over here to stay," she sighed happily.  "Ethan made sure of it."  She squealed when she saw one of her friends, going over to hug her and chatter with her for a few minutes, the girl's mother looking a bit worried by the strange language coming out of her daughter's mouth.  Then Luna came back to Dawn's side and waved Ginny over.  "You can go, Ron," she said, making a shooing motion.  "I'm sure you've got tombs to break into."

"No, we're getting the year off," Ron said with a bright grin.  "We're on our way to Paris at the moment to bug the Prof."

"Is he coming back?" Dawn asked.  "He was kinda interesting anytime after ten in the morning."

"I hope so.  You'd hate to have another Lockhart," Ron said bitterly.  "Let me run on.  Mum was in the twin's store, Ginny."

"Thanks, Ron."  He waved and disappeared.  "Captain Obvious today, isn't he?"  Dawn snorted and nodded, sipping her milkshake.  "Anything good happening when we get back?"

"The usual Hufflepuff party," Dawn offered.

Luna shrugged.  "Not as far as I know in my tower, but then again we are Ravenclaws."

Ginny laughed, patting her on the back.  "That's fine, we're not doing much either. Maybe we should crash the Hufflepuff party?"

"Depends, Ginny, do you really want to work with unicorns?"

"Oh."  She blushed.  "Never mind then.  Have you gotten a treat package yet?"

"I have," she said proudly.  "Greg helped make me one with Cassandra's help.  She is so adorable!  Also, Emilia's having twins too," she squealed.  "He's walking around after her to hold her stomach all the time."

The other girls laughed, shaking their heads. Men!

***

Ron landed outside the house, tapping gently on the door.  Alex opened the door, putting a finger on his lips.  Ron nodded, walking inside.  He whispered the basket thing in his boss' ear, then went to help the crying person he could hear.  It turned out to be the professor.  "What's wrong?" he cooed, sitting next to him.  "You won't have me or Draco next year at all.  Just Ginny, Luna, and Dawnie."  Methos glared at him.  "Not the issue?"

"No, it's relief.  You're not coming back," he said happily.  "Gotcha."

Ron hit him on the shoulder.  "Prat," he said fondly.  "Someone sent Tipsy a basket full of hemorrhoid creams with a note supposedly from Snape."  Methos winced.  "Yeah, so I just got to soothe her too."  He got comfortable, putting an arm behind the teacher's shoulder.  "So, we're here for a few days.  What should we see?" he asked with a grin.

"Days?"

"We were going to stay at a hotel," Alex assured him.

"You'd better with the way you draw things to you.  Hasn't Narcissa stopped crying yet?"  Xander shook his head.  "Blast.  Woman, he's not that grown up yet," he called.  "If you don't quit, I'll make you cook and poison them."

"I've already given them the common poison inoculations," Xander said dryly.  "After living with Bill's cooking, it was something I took each and every year, plus the six boosters for the odder poisons.  They're getting those soon, as long as Draco isn't affected by them."  He came in to sit down.  "You should have seen your face, Ron."

"Hey, I just soothed Tipsy," he pointed out.  He heard a pop and looked around. "Who was that?"

"It was me," Snape said as he walked in. "It was not me who sent the basket."

"That's not a problem, find out who did before they all get you," Xander advised with a grin.  "Come on in, we're visiting today."

"Of course you are."  He sat down across from Methos.  "The Headmaster wanted to make sure you were coming back since he hasn't heard from you yet?"

"I sent the letter yesterday.  Give some time for the owls to fly."  He rolled his eyes.  "Do you realize we don't have to teach Draco, Ron, Harry, or Alex another thing?"

Snape nodded. "Yes, it gave me good dreams all summer long."  Ron snickered.  "Though I haven't had to see you in years."  He looked at Alex.  "Have you been having a good vacation?"

"Sure, in between the crises and the emergencies."  Snape grimaced.  "Ask Draco, he's been keeping a catalog of them all."

"I'm sure he has.  Have you had to buy him more jewelry recently?"

"Buy?" Alex snickered.  "We went back to look over Sunnydale for two days and found a few stashes that had still been hidden.  He's got another trunk with his share in it that he's got to decide what to do with."

"I liked mine too much," Ron noted.  "All the obsidian jewelry is really pretty.  I was thinking that collar was going to be Dawn's Christmas present."

"It's a collar of pure obsidian with a single line of white through it, carved whole except a small piece in the back," Alex told him.  "It looks like it was carved whole and then that piece was formed by magic so it would have an entrance.  It locks back inside the rest of it.  Silver tracings at the closures.  It's beautiful."

"We'll have to get Dawn a holiday robe that'll suit it," Draco said as he walked in.  "My mother said if you try to make her cook she'll scratch your eyes out and watch them grow back a few times."  He sat down on his consort's lap.  "Professor Snape, a social call?"

"I came to make sure you've made it this long."

"Barely."

"You haven't been in danger the whole time, except for when the spirit of the dog came out to eat Ron."

"No, dear, the pirates wouldn't have killed me at all," Draco said sarcastically.

"They probably would have taken you for a sex slave first," Ron said dryly.  "Unlike me."

"That's because you're ugly," Draco assured him.  "Whereas I'm beautiful."

"You are," Xander assured him, giving him a kiss.  Draco calmed down and went limp against his chest.  "Are you going to give your mother those earrings?"

"Thank you for reminding me," Draco agreed, going to find his bag to get them for her.  He smiled as he presented them. "They're cursed to keep you alone and lonely for at least a year after you last wore them."

She gave him a strong hug.  "Thank you, son.  I adore you."  She put them on then took them back off to put them into her pocket.  "That should help.  At the very least, I can wear them in front of the horrible little man.  He reminds me of Fudge quite strongly, but he's perfectly muggle and stupid."

"It's all right, mother, I understand. If one was courting me I may have killed him already."  He gave her a hug and went back to his consort, sitting in his lap again. "She put them on and took them back off," he reported.  "That was a good idea."

"I have many good ideas, like us going to Tibet this month," Xander said, giving him a hug.

"Why would we want to go to Tibet?" Ron asked.

"Because I've been asked to check on a storehouse.  It's a long hike in the snow."

"Snow?" Draco asked.

Xander nodded. "Snow."  He grinned.  "You don't have to come if you don't want to, but it'll take most of a month."

"What is it with you and taking off for the holidays?" Draco asked, starting to pout.

"It'd be the end of this month, Draco.  Not near the holidays.  Near the holidays I have us planned for the desert because it'll be marginally cooler there."  Draco shifted and nodded.  "Good enough?"  He nodded again. "Good."

"What about the holiday dance?" Ron asked.  "I said I'd go if I could."

"If we can get you back there, you can go," Xander assured him.

"Thanks, boss."

"Welcome, Ron.  You're right, we will have to get her something stunning this year."  He considered it. "Bring the necklace to Madam Malkin and tell her it's for Dawnie.  Maybe she'll be able to figure something out.  She should know Dawn by now."

"Good idea."  Ron beamed at him.  "Why are we going to the desert?"

"To show you how to break into old and ancient cities," Xander said with a grin.  "Not all of it is as easy as Sunnydale."

"I figured that much, but a whole city?"

"Yuppers," Xander said happily.  "I've already stuck our claim in and they've approved us since there's so many of us.  If Dawnie's free over the holidays she'll be coming with us."

"Cool," Ron breathed.

"No, hot, very, very hot," Methos told him. "With little water."  Ron shrugged.  "Never mind. You'll have to figure that out for yourself I suppose."  He rolled his eyes.  "I'm glad I can't remember my own youth."

"There may be potions to help you with that," Snape offered with a smirk.  "It's said that the brain's capacity is infinite."

"It would drive me insane," Methos noted.  "Or more insane depending on your viewpoint," he added, catching Alex's look at him, then his smirk.  "I know how some people would vote."

"Ehh, the same people would probably vote me into the nuthatch too," Xander said with a grin. "But it's so much fun!"

"It is," Methos agreed lightly.  "Am I hosting dinner tonight?"

"Well, I was going to show my boys the main branch here in town and have them given the tour if possible.  Then we were going to do the stereotypical ugly tourist things for a day, then move on.   Non-Roman version of course."

"Of course," Methos agreed.  "I doubt you could sack and pillage a town for the pleasure of it just because it's there and not of your people."

"He'd make a good conqueror," Draco defended.  "The aurors seem to think so; they want him to work with that little muggle scientist who talks to aliens."

"I can see him going off world and having the universe panic," Snape said dryly.  "If they knew him better, I'm sure they'd see it the same way."

"I think it's where they want to make sure we won't be invaded again," Ron offered.  "They think he's scary enough to keep everyone away if they think we're all like Tonks and Xander."

"A whole planet full of Tonks and Xanders," Snape mused.  Then he shuddered.  "How utterly revolting.  They'd have to take over other places to make sure that they had supposedly fun things to destroy."

"Tonks did a good job of doing that to the majority of the universe already," Xander said fondly.  "Besides, it'd be some pretty funny looking kids.  She's always got odd hair."  Ron and Draco both snickered and Snape shook his head.  "She does!"

"You are certifiable," Draco snickered, patting him on the chest.  "Good thing we think you're good enough to have us, otherwise we'd lock you away, take your seed, and create the next generation to live correctly."

"I demand that you send Narcissa out," a reedy, high-pitched voice called from outside.  "I'll...I'll challenge you to a duel for her attentions," he called.

"He'll what?" Draco asked, starting to laugh.  He got up and opened a window. "You'll what?  This isn't the dark ages, you nit."

"I'll challenge whoever for my fairest of fair maidens for she has enchanted my very soul so that I must have her beside me, or else I shall perish.  Dying in a duel would be a blessing compared to dying from the heartache."

"Do you want her son, her protector, or just any random male in the house?" Draco asked, smirking at him.

"Any would be fine, though I will not harm her child if she does not demand it of him.  I would not harm children."

"Then it's a good thing I'm eighteen," he said dryly, closing the window.  "Any other takers?"

"He's a muggle, you can't use your wand," Ron reminded him.   He got up and opened the door.  "You... nasty, swollen-headed man.  What weapon were you proposing?"

"I can fence a bit or I can use dueling pistols.  I brought my father's set."

Xander stood up.  "My turn?"  Everyone waved a hand so he went outside.  "Dueling pistols?"  The box was opened and shown for his inspection.  "Those are ancient.  I much prefer revolvers," he said, pulling his. The man squeaked and the box shook, so Xander sighed and picked up one. "It's weighted funny. Are you sure they work?"

"I am," he said fiercely.  He took the other.  "They are loaded.  You may check if you want."  Xander peered down the barrel, then shrugged and they went back to back.  "On the count of ten paces?"

"Of course.  We must observe all the forms," he said dryly.  He felt the back move and paced off ten paces out loud, then turned and raised the gun, taking more careful aim than the other guy.  His gun exploded but it was internal.  "Ow!"  He dropped it and the other man pulled out an automatic weapon, so Xander pulled his revolver and shot him in the shoulder, making him howl and fall to his knees.  Xander walked over holding his bleeding hand.  "That's not very sporting," he said in his native accent. "Putting a lead chunk in there is not how it's done, old man.  Hey, Prof, can I borrow a few bandages?"

"Get your bloody ass in here!" Methos yelled, pointing inside.  Xander shrugged and walked inside, letting Draco baby him for a bit.  Methos glared at the man, making him whimper.  Then he decided to let someone more official take care of it.  He called the cops. "There's a lunatic up here who's just shot at my house and had one rebound back into his body for the love of a woman who's hiding here because he won't leave her alone," he reported.  "Come get his bleeding body off my lawn."  He waited while the operator gurgled then hung up.  It had been long enough for a trace.  Surprisingly enough, it only took the cops five minutes to get up there.  "Stupid idiot shot at my house and it rebounded back into him.  He was going on and on about love and dying of heartbreak if I didn't surrender my guest, who is hiding from him.  Even her son told him to go away and he did not listen. I want him off my lawn before I finish him."

"Fine, sir," one of the officers agreed, handcuffing him to the stretcher once he was on it.  "Is the woman here?"

"Narcissa?"  She came to the doorway.  "They need a statement."

"That odious little man will not leave me alone!" she said, stamping her foot.  "He's followed me shopping, eating, having fun, and even into the bathroom twice.  I had to run here for protection!  I want him gone before I deal with the man myself, and trust me I can and will kill him."

"Mother, remember your blood pressure.  You don't want to look flushed," Draco said, coming to lead her away.  Then he went back to helping his consort.  "Stupid bastard," he muttered as he cleaned the wounds.  They looked like little pieces of the weapon had sunk into his skin  "Lucky you didn't blow your entire hand off!"

"Yes, Draco," he said softly, staring at him instead of the injury.  Draco looked at him and deflated then sighed and kissed him gently.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  Next time, let Weasley do the honorable things.  I can live without him, not you."  He went back to wrapping the marked hand, then took him downstairs to lie on the couch.  "Severus, did you bring a healing potion?"

"No, surprisingly I don't bring one around with me all the time," he said dryly.  "Is he all right?"

"His hand's got some open spots from where the gun exploded," Draco said quietly, looking outside.  "We should go."

"You probably should," Narcissa agreed.  "You be safe, son.  I had no idea he was so reckless."  She kissed him on the cheek. "Protect him better," she demanded, flouncing off.

Xander nodded. "Sure.  It's not like I'm not used to doing that for others.  Ron?"

"Coming."  He came back in and created the portkey back home.  He was very good at them, better than Draco since he preferred to apparate.  They landed back at Dumass Glen and the house elf screamed. "It's not that bad," he complained.  Aunt Cordy ran in, looking worried.  "He took on a duel for Narcissa and the dueling pistol had been fixed," he explained.  "There's five or six small holes."

"I cleaned it as well as I could," Draco said, starting to feel faint.  He hated the sight of blood.  He scrubbed at his hands.  "I need to clean up," he announced, running for his bathroom.

Ron got out of the way to call Methos on the tattoo wavelength they all used, noting that they had left their bags.  That Alex was fine and all right.  That they were back at the house.  He let his arm go when someone grabbed his ear.  "Ow!"  He swatted at the hand on his ear, turning to find one of the twins there.  "What?  I just got back!"

"Our wife is mad at us because we're not as nice as you," the twin said bitterly.

"Not my fault!  I'm used to soothing crying women!"  He shrugged.  "I did it with Hermione when she did, with Dawn when she did.   Be nice, sweet, and gentle to her and she'll be fine."

"Or else you're being too nice and sweet and you're pissing her off that way," Dawn suggested.  "Burst out in tears in front of her.  See if it helps."

"George did!  She yelled at us for being upset!"

"Fine," Ron said patiently.  He took Fred back to the store, walking through the quiet students standing there.  "She's fine.  She's pregnant.  Ask your mums what that's like."  He drug him into the back, frowning at her.  "I don't have time for this right now, Love.  Xander just got injured taking a duel for Narcissa because the gun had been tampered with and it exploded into his hand.  Now, tell me what they're doing wrong so I can teach them."  She sniffled.  "No, crying doesn't solve anything.  Tell me."  She burst out into tears and ran off.  Fred ran after her and Ron grinned.  His plan had worked perfectly.  He walked out past George.  "She's fine now.  Remember last time, brother dearest.  We're at Dumass Glen."

"Sure, Ron. Thanks for making her cry."

"Fred ran after her to soothe her.  Want me to do this?"  George nodded, running back there to help.  He looked at the kids and shrugged.  "It helped," he offered.  The lone parent in the store laughed.  "It did.  She said they weren't quite as sweet as me.  Must be all the frogs I've eaten in my life."  The kids all rushed forward, most of them asking for autographs with their purchases.  He shared a look with the parent, giving another half shrug at his son's request for an autograph.  "If it helps business," he said lightly.

The father laughed.  "I'm sure it does.  How is your girlfriend?"

"Dawn's good.  She was ready to go pounce the person who had hurt Alex and pound them flat, but she's having another girl moment.  I think it's in the air today.  Or else I just don't understand."

"No man understands a woman," the father said wisely.  "I haven't and I've been married for twenty years."  He paid for his son's purchases and then they left.

Ron leaned on the counter once the last one was gone, looking behind him as the twin came out.  "She okay now?"

"Fine.  She agrees, it's in the air."

"Then we've got to fix this.  It's horrible.  Dawn'll start soon."  He stood up and relinquished his spot.  "I'm going back to the house.  The kids all cleared out like someone called dinner."  A girl walked in and squealed, making him grin.  "Hello," he said softly.  Now he knew why Harry hated the press.  He really did.  "Welcome to my brothers' store."

"Wow.  You're his brother?" she asked George.

George nodded.  "We tested nearly everything in the store on him."

She gave him a worshipful look.  "Wow.  Can I have an autograph, Ron?  Please?"

"Sure, little one.  What's your name?"

"Emily."  She handed over her diary and he signed it, making her simper and coo. "Thank you, Ron.  Have a nice year in training."

"We're mostly taking this year off," he said with a wink. "That's why I've got a tan."  He waved and disapparated before he could be pounced again.  He landed back at Xander's house, on the doorstep, and walked inside.  "I have fans," he told Dawn, eyes wide.  "They're mobbing the store."  She snorted and pouted at him. "What?  I know Tipsy's got something wrong with her and it seems to be in the air, but you too?  You're not pregnant."

"No, I'm not," she said, stomping her foot. "Meany."

He kissed her on the forehead. "If you do end up that way before you graduate, your sister's going to take it out of my hide, Dawn.  Besides, think about dragging a kid to Potions with you."  She smiled a bit.  "Good enough?"  She nodded, pouting on her way to the kitchen.  "Is this some strange veela power, to make the entire country want to be pregnant? Or to make the presently pregnant ones cranky?"  Greg came out of the study shaking his head.  "No?"

"No.  I noticed Emilia had a change as soon as we appeared too, but no.  Why?"

"Tipsy.  Dawn just said I was mean that she wasn't stuffed up yet and she hates kids.  As much, if not more, than Alex does."

"We'll figure it out," he promised, patting him on the back.  "Don't sleep with her tonight, okay?"  He went to look it up in the library.  Alex had the best veela collection on three continents.

***

Arthur Weasley walked into his house and was pounced by his wife, making him smile.  "Good to see you too, Molly love.  What's wrong?"

"Arthur, I think we should have another one.  All of ours are nearly out of the house and I'll be lonely here all day without one of the babies."

He kissed her gently again.  "I was hoping this wasn't going to get you.  Molly, you can't have more kids.  You've been through the change, dear."  She started to sniffle.  "Now, none of that," he warned firmly.  "Let me call Ron to warn him, then we'll talk about it.  All right?"  She nodded, giving him another kiss. "Good girl. Could you get me a drink of water?"  She nodded, going to get him some tea.  He got down to use the floor.  "Ron!"  Ron's head popped up.  "Whatever this is has gotten your mother as well."

"Dawn and Tipsy too, plus Emilia.  Anyone who is preggers acts like a loon and anyone who isn't wants one.  Why?"

"I don't know yet, but be careful with Dawn."  He hung up and stood up as his wife came back.  "Thank you, love.  Now curl up with me for a bit, let's talk about this new baby idea.  There are some war orphans and we might be able to adopt since you're past the age to bear children."

"That's not fair, Tipsy can."

"Yes, love, but Tipsy's never had that many children.  She's only had the one she had and then the miscarriage.  Now the twins and the new twins. I'm betting she'll be done after this set."  He stroked the back of her neck.  "I wouldn't mind us adopting or something though.  Those babies need a lot of love."

"It's an ache, Arthur.  I want one so bad. One of my own."  She curled up against his side, stroking his chest.

"I know you do, Molly, and if it were possible I'd gladly do it for you.  But you can't be pregnant again.  The doctors said it was impossible after Ron.  We could get another like Ginny, Molly.  It would be lovely to have another baby in the house," he said supportively.

She continued to stroke him, getting him into the mood.  "We could try anyway," she offered hopefully.

"Sure," he agreed, smiling at her. "You know I never mind trying with you, love."  He kissed her and brought her upstairs like a proper husband would.  "No dinner in the oven?"

"No, it's in the fridge," she said with a smug look.  "That chilled salad you liked so much that got us Percy."

He chuckled and went with her desires, it wouldn't hurt her any.  Then maybe she could help him figure out what was going on.

***

"Why is that every time I come up here, something's going on?" Buffy asked as she stepped in off the back lawn.

"Because you have bad timing," Ron assured her.  "Are you feeling odd?"  She shook her head.  "You're sure?  No outbreak of baby feelings?"

"Baby feelings?"

"It's happening all across Britain," Xander said from the couch, where Draco had stuck him and done the sticking charm himself.  His skin to the couch so he couldn't slide out of his clothes to get free again.  "It's worse in the wizarding world, but it's still there for the rest.  Are you sure you're not feeling it?"

"No, but then again I'm a vampire," Buffy reminded him.

"Doesn't matter, my mum's got it and she's gone through the change," Ron offered.  "Even your sister's got it.  I'm avoiding her at the moment."

"Good," she said, patting him on the side of the face. "I'd hate to kill you today, Ron.  Xander, what happened to your hand?"

"Duel."

"Oh.  You guys still do that?"

"Yuppers," he said lightly, smirking at her.  "Dawn!" he yelled. She came running down the stairs and squealed, launching herself at her sister.  "Cool.  Go walk Midnight and let her see the unicorns from a distance."

"Sure, Xander. Are you feeling better yet?"

"Some.  Thanks, munchkin."

"Welcome."  She led her sister off.  "I want a baby and Ron won't give me one."

"Imagine that dark and gloomy guy's face if you had one," she retorted.

"Ron said the same thing," she said with a pout.  "Midnight, let's go for a walk in the garden."  Her dog came running down the stairs, following them out.  "Midnight likes the baby unicorn. They play tag," she said lightly.

"Chows are supposed to be holy dogs so I guess he doesn't bother the baby unicorn."  She watched as the baby unicorn came out and rushed after the puppy, chasing it to nip it on the tail, then taking off in the other direction.  "Wow, it is tag."  She shook her head.  "Tara said hi and sent a hug."  She gave her the hug from Tara.  "When do you have to be back and how are you getting there?"

"We all take the train," she said.  "We go the first.  It's tradition."

"Then I guess that's okay.  Don't want to break with tradition."  She gave her a light pinch.  "Is this some conspiracy to make all the guys moan in pain and regret?"

"No, I seriously want one," she told her.

"You hate kids, Dawnie."

"Well, yeah, but sometimes this urge just hits me and it's horrible."

"Those are the days that you babysit," Buffy reminded her.  "That's always of the good for someone and you can earn a few extra coins."

"See, that won't help this time! It's an ache!" she whined. "I want one!"

Buffy stopped her, putting a hand on her arm.  "No, Dawn.  You're too young, that ache is some sort of magical thing, and it's not what you need.  You need to finish school before you even *think* about kids.  It's not like I can raise it for you and neither can Xander.  Be a bit more practical.  It's a spell.  Repeat it over and over if it helps, but it's not real. Someone's manipulating you."  Dawn shook her head.  "Yes, they are.  Come on, I'll prove it to you."  She walked her sister back inside.  "Can anyone find out how to block the magic from touching her?"

"We think it's infecting the fundamental flow of magic," Aunt Cordy said, gripping the counter.  "It's even affecting me, Dawn, and I've never been able to have children."  She hugged her.  "It'll be fine.  It'll be stopped soon."

Dawn shook her head.  "But it's this big, cramping, grabbing ache."

"I know, I feel the same way," Cordy assured her.  "Go lie down for a bit, alone.  Cast the strongest contraception charm on yourself that you can or have Alex do one for you.  He's got to be good with them if he's only had one kid with all the people he slept with."

Buffy drug Dawn out there and handed Xander the wand he was trying to get.  "Cast a contraceptive charm on her.  Let's see if it helps."

"Permanent, special, or temporary?"

"Special?" Dawn asked.

"Works except for two out clauses.  One of them only happens if you're sleeping with an elf.  The other is if you're sleeping with something not of your species."

"One that'll last until she starts school?" Buffy suggested.

"Sure.  Move closer, Dawn."  She did and he laid his hand and his wand on her stomach, murmuring quietly until she yelped and pulled away, then he cast the rest of it.  "Your period may be a bit heavier this time, but you cannot get pregnant for the next six months."  She gave him an odd look.  "I learned it in Egypt from a witch down there.  She was a pro but it was the one she used."  Dawn nodded and trudged upstairs to take a nap.  "Do you need one?"

"No, I'm not feeling that, but then again I know I'm not wholly here.  Being a vampire is like that."  She trotted off to sit and watch the unicorn and the puppy play.  Unicorns were really cute!  She would coo but her demon always got mad and growled at her when she did.

***

George Weasley, strong, deadly, fast, and hell with a prank sat up in bed and stomped out of the room.  He couldn't take this any more.  His wife was still complaining.  If this kept up, he might be tempted to take a long buying trip until this all settled out.  He lit a candle with his wand so he could pace and not run into things, like the cat that had somehow migrated from his mother's garden to their house.  He was yanking on his hair when his twin came out.  "I can't bloody well take this anymore," he complained.

Fred nodded.  "I know.  Is there anyway for us to fix it though?"

"I don't care if I have to go stab whatever's doing this multiple times and give it a bloody messy death!" he shouted.  "I want whatever is causing these mood swings to stop!"

"Let me call Percy, maybe he knows what's going on," Fred soothed.  He called Percy's apartment, getting a sleepless brother.  "Having a girlfriend problem?"

"No, one of my coworkers came over to have me procreate with her," he said quietly, glancing behind him.  "I had to sedate her when she got hysterical and tried to rip my clothes off."  He looked at George and sighed. "It affects those already pregnant?"

"Makes 'em cranky because they can't get knocked up again," Fred told him.  "Do we know what is doing this?  We'll volunteer to kill it since Alex is banged up at the moment."  Percy shook his head. "Not at all?"

"No.  We think it may be some ancient magic laid on the land.  It seems to happen when the population falls below a certain level.  The last bout was right after the industrial revolution started.  It was necessary then but it's not now."  He grimaced and his head turned around.  "No, go back to sleep.  There's nothing wrong.  It's my brothers asking for a bit of information for their wife."  He smiled at the twins.  "Give me an hour.  I will find that out for you," he said, disappearing and using the excuse to get around his coworker from Species.  He ran for the Ministry, going to help in the archives if he had to.  He found Draco in there terrorizing someone.  "Use the spell to call the information down," he ordered.

"But we can't use that in here without the Minister's authorization," the worker whined.

"I'll cover for you," Percy assured her.  "Do it or I will. It's affecting those who are pregnant and it could make them want to miscarry to restart a new pregnancy."  She gaped but still shook her head.  "Fine, then get out of my way."

"You can't!  Guards!"

Percy glared at the guards and they backed off. "They're keeping the source of all the pregnancy feelings hidden.  It will make pregnant women terminate eventually if not stopped."  They shuddered and he went into the archive proper whispering the small spell.  A small stack of books appeared on the table. "Malfoy, come do something useful."  He handed over half the stack and used the same spell to get to the pertinent sections.

"I've got a diary," Draco announced.  "It's under Merlin's tomb."  He put that one aside.  "There's a demon down there guarding the nexus of the magic and the land?"

"Or something like that," Percy agreed.  "It's known about."  He looked up.  "It's in heat?"  Draco nodded.  "Fuck!"  Everyone stared at him. "Yes, I do know those words," he said dryly, glaring at the guards again.  He found the exact entrance and pulled it out, copying it for the twins and their friends.  He took that and the diary, taking it to the shop.  He found Fred holding Tipsy and Draco rushed over to weave a sleep spell around her mind.  He handed over the information.  "It's under Merlin's tomb.  You'll need a damn good cursebreaker."

"Alex is knocked out.  It's started to affect him too," Draco admitted.  "Is your brother Bill around?"  The twins shook their heads.  "What about Ron?  Could he or could Potter?"

"Ron's got an affinity for money and jewelry.  Potter's got one for power flows," Fred noted.

"Harry's also in quarantine," George groaned.  "He got a suspicious substance tossed on him the last time he ventured outside.  Apparently there's a few fans who blame him for the old seeker retiring."

"Fine, then Ron and I can go," Draco noted.  "Half-trained we're still better than most.  I can see the power flows.  He can break the curses."  They gaped at him.  "I don't want to babysit Weasley's brat from my sister!"

"Fine," Percy agreed.  "Boys, we'll need a sword.  Pure steel."

"I can get that too.  Let me wake the bastard and I'll be right back.  Anything else?"

"Lanterns," Fred said flipping through the journal.  "It's dark and light sucking."

"Fine.  Be right back."  He disapparated, heading back to the house and running up the stairs.  He pounded on Ron's door before walking in.  "Out, Dawn."  She whimpered so he knocked her out.  "There's a demon who guards the joining point of the magic to the land here on the island."

"Shit!" Ron said, jumping up.  "It's in heat?"  He nodded.  "Then let me put on clothes. What do we need?"

"Pure steel and light that can't be sucked away."

"Phosphorescent lights are good for that and pure steel?  Try the weapon's cabinet.  I'm not sure if anything in there is pure steel."  Draco nodded and headed down to look while Ron got his girl tucked into his bed, then he got dressed and stamped into his boots.  He grabbed his jacket and his spare wands, then headed down to help Draco.  "Small stones of steel?"

"Purified steel nuggets, and one long dagger," he said, pulling it out.  "The house elves said that was all in the catalog."  He handed over the dagger.  He was not a knife fighter.  They headed back to the shop, Ron landing with a yawn.  "Are we ready?"  The twins nodded and left Percy there to watch their wife while they went to deal with this thing.  Draco found the opening, leading the way down the hidden stairs inside the tree.  They came to the bottom and Ron snapped a few of the light sticks open, handing them out.  "Lead on, Weasley."

"Yup, sure.  Let me pass, George."  He walked past him, going for the darkest spot ahead.  It was always the darkest spot that held the keys it seemed like.  He saw the dropoff before he got there.  "There's a ledge, be careful."  He walked off to the side, looking around, his light stick held high.  "I don't see a bridge."

"I felt a hidden spot behind us," Draco admitted.  The twins glared at them. "It's always been the darkest spots before!"

"Let's check that out," Ron agreed, following him back.  They took the lead together, letting the twins follow behind them.  Draco found the doorway and Ron broke it open.  The lights were slowly fading so he activated a few more, handing them back as well.  "See, darker.  It's always in the darkest spot it seems like."  They followed the pathway, it had a worn track so it should lead somewhere.  They found a hidden passageway but it didn't have a door.  It looked like an alcove but it had danger markings on it.  They passed by it, heading further into the darkness, going to find the stupid demon and take care of it, one way or another.  They found a spot where the darkness started to fade and put down their lights as they walked up the end of the pathway.  There was a glowing stone and a demon kneeling beside it.  "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing!" Ron shouted.  "You're infecting the whole fucking planet!"  The demon leapt up, his arms growing knife- like protrusions as he moved toward them.

Draco turned up his powers and let them fly at the demon, making it moan and stumble to its knees again.  He crossed his arms. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you?"

"I need to guard the nexus," he moaned, looking at them.  "All I need is some help, I was praying for it."

"Well, you weren't getting it.  You were making all the women on our island want to have a child, and if they're with child they were going to hurt themselves!" George shouted.  "We do not need that!"

"Calm down," Fred said calmly.  "What will help you?"  The demon whimpered something.  "Excuse me, what was that?  You need what?"

"I need the touch of another being sexually," it whined.  "Even if it is not of my species, that will start the cloning process."

"Would a surrogate work?" Draco asked.  The demon looked confused.  "Something sexual that was not attached to another being?"

"It could."

"I don't have any," Fred noted.  "I haven't needed any in years."

"Me either," George agreed.  "Ron?"

"No!  I have Dawn and we're only halfway through the Joy of Sex."

"I don't have any either," Draco noted.  "I only know what they are.  I haven't needed one.  It's all I can do to get out of bed some days with my consort in one of his moods."

"Then let's create one," Fred decided. "Unless one of us wants to go get Luna Lovegood out of bed?"  Ron shook his head quickly.  They looked at the demon.  "How big?"  The demon pulled out his.  "All right, now I feel inadequate," he sighed, looking up.

"Damn, and I thought Alex was big," Draco said in awe.  "Would a more human size one work?"

"Humans are puny in comparison but it would do in a pinch," he offered.

"Fine.  Then let's work on a rock," George decided, judging the demon's size and then the rocks around them.  He found one where there was a seat at about the right height and transfigured it to include a new protrusion from stones.  He made it fairly the same shape as the demon's own, then added a human-style head to the top of it.  "There, try that," he said, pointing.  The demon walked over and gently sat down.  He grimaced and George adjusted the angle for him.  The demon sighed and the red strands in the stone eased as he mounted it fully and took it for a trial ride.

"Are we done now?" Fred asked.

"Do you have any steel?  We need the essential nutrients and there's none around here," he said.  The steel nuggets were handed over.  "I thank you. The guardianship will continue."

"Good job," Ron agreed, waving as he walked away.  Halfway back they heard a roar, then a splitting noise.  He almost turned around but he decided he didn't want to know that much.  He stopped at the entrance with the danger markings, considering it.  He walked forward but his brothers stopped him.  "I only wanted to look."

"With our luck there's a monster on the other side," Draco said bitterly.  "Then I'd really have to do your job and get dirty all the time."  He felt the power on the doorway and frowned.  "That's pure energy in there."

"Okay, that's enough," George decided. "Come on.  Before you get killed and I have to take your places.  I doubt Alex would like me taking your place, Draco.  Ron, please behave."

Fred looked at his twin.  "Do you realize what this means?"

"That we just saved the world with a dildo?" George asked.

"That too.  We won't be able to tell anyone about this.  They'll never believe it."  He caught Ron as he turned around.  "No, Ron.  Keep going, Ron."

"I'm not carrying him," Draco noted.  The power was calling to him too, it was seductive and sweet.  It wanted him to come back and kiss and lick it.  He might have if Alex hadn't worn him out just a few hours ago, but he could fight it, he really could.  That's why he was headed back there until the twins knocked him out and floating them ahead.

They met their brother at the entrance, surprising him.  "Morning, Bill.  It seems that the problem's solved.  The demon guarding the spot was in heat and needed help."

"You went down to the nexus point and played with the magic rock?" he asked in shock.

"No, we went down there, made him a dildo out of the stones, then kept Ron and Draco from the alcove with the danger markings," Fred retorted dryly. They left the younger ones there and headed home.  Hopefully their wife would be sane again.  "Is she all right?" Fred asked.

"Tipsy, love, why are you kissing our brother?" George asked.  "Kiss us instead.  We saved the day for once."  She launched herself at them and kissed them so hard they saw stars.  "Hmm, have to save the world again," he noted to his twin.

"It would be a good thing on occasion."  He picked up his wife and took her into the bedroom to solve this horny moment for her.

George grinned at Percy.  "Thanks, mate.  Bill's there."  He jogged in to help his twin, hoping to catch up soon enough. Even though his wife was generous enough to let him finish after she was done, he wanted to be first this time so Fred got to go after her. Fred was busy kissing her so he latched onto that spot that made all girls squeal and buck into your mouth.  It was about all he needed but he knew she'd need more so he played all he wanted to until his brother batted him away and got some of it for himself.

***

Draco woke up staring at a Weasley and shrieked in horror. "I know I didn't spend the night with you!"

"No," Bill said dryly.  "You didn't.  It's still dark as well, Draco.  Catch a clue, please."

"Sorry, some of us don't wake up instantly," he said bitterly.  "Is something wrong with Alex?"

"No, just that he's still asleep and it's always better to leave him that way when he is," Bill said dryly. "Now, what did you two touch?"

"The demon?" Ron asked.

"You put a hand on that danger marking and so did I," Draco reminded him.

"Okay, that explains why I had to take the power strands off you both.  Why?"

"We were curious but we weren't going to enter it.  We touched the wall to taste the power," Ron defended.

Bill hung his head and shook it.  "Ron, you're usually so much smarter than that.  What does a danger symbol mean?"

"To test it to see what sort of danger it is," Draco told him.  "That way you know if it's a danger without you opening the door."

"In this case it was.  The artifacts in that room are dangerous.  They're power sucking.  They like to eat little boy and girl wizards like you both," Bill said condescendingly.  "You have to be a level One Plus to get down into that tunnels legitimately."

"You'd rather that every pregnant woman in the aisles lost her baby and the rest became pregnant?" Ron asked.

"Well, no," Bill admitted.  "It's still a breach of policy."

"We're apprentices, our master is asleep, and you said yourself that we haven't been told," Draco reminded him.

"What's a plus level?" Ron asked.

"Those who are so good they can walk down a street and find everything on it.  Alex was before he was spelled.  I am now.  That's why they let me go on commission status.  The others they want out of the business so they give it when they demand it.  They offered it to me at the same commission rate Alex gets now."  They gaped at him.  "Understanding more now? You two just took on something that's so far beyond your levels of ability it's lucky you weren't dinner for some of the artifacts."

"We didn't go in."

"No, you didn't. You got near enough to them that they got the taste of you," Bill pointed out firmly, hands drifting to his hips so he could go into lecture mode.  "There are things in this world that are out of your league, Ron, and probably always will be.  There's things down there that Alex can't handle, and neither can I.  Merlin himself started that storehouse.  He was an amateur curse breaker.  He gathered a lot of nasty things and that's his storehouse.  People want those things and you've just proven that you can get to them and draw them to you.  That just put you and Dawn and everyone around you in danger."  Ron slowly shook his head. "Yeah, it did.  Even if I don't report it, which I'll have to so you get the advanced training, people will know.  The things'll call out to you until they finally get you or you die.  There's two things down there that still ache to nibble my butt to death too.  Welcome to Curse Breaking, Ron and Draco, you're now in danger."

Ron stood up, glaring at his brother.  "Bill, there was only three things in there.  Not over five because I did feel two shadows."  Bill went pale. "Beyond that, Alex will teach me *everything* I need to know.  Advanced lessons and all.  We went down there to stop the demon from destroying everyone, including our sister-in-law and mum.  If you don't like it, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry if we stepped in something we shouldn't have.  We were taught to test things with danger markings to make sure it wasn't something that we'd trip just by being in the same area."  Bill sighed and nodded.  "So, by our training we were doing it correctly."

"By all the training you were doing it correctly but you shouldn't have been down there.  There's a reason why there's a shield."  Draco shook his head.  "Yes there was."

"Not really.  Only an illusion shield like what Penn taught us," Ron told him.  "I felt it too. It wasn't that hard to find, there were signs lit up magically."

Bill whimpered.  "Okay, sit there.  I'm getting Alex, I'm getting some of the top goblins.  Just sit and do not step foot outside of this area I've got boxed off."  He walked outside and took a deep breath.  Waking Alex was always risky.  He touched his earring, which led to a telltale Alex wore.  It always made him flinch and wake up.  "Come on, big guy, I need help," he whispered.  "The Tomb was broken into."  Alex teleported in and ran for the doorway.  "Ron and Draco were down there.  They said there wasn't a barrier at all."

Alex leaned his head against the tree.  "The thing that tried to eat me isn't down there."  He looked at Bill.  "Call the specialists."  Bill nodded, going to do that, leaving the kids to their rightful master.  Xander walked into the boxed off area, making sure to walk over the barrier Bill had set up.  "Explanations?"

"The pregnancy thing was from the demon guarding the pretty stone that joins the magic to the land," Draco told him.  "He was in heat."

"We saw the danger signs and we both tested it like you taught us, hand on the wall and tasting the edges of the magic," Ron finished.  "Then it started to draw us.  We were with the twins."

"No, they're fine.  If they had been affected, they'd still be here," Alex admitted.  "From the top.  The doorway?"

"Illusion shield only, like what Penn taught us only a bit less flimsy," Draco noted.  "I found it."

"I led the way down until we got to that first ledge, then we backtracked.  We used most of the glow sticks too."

"That's fine," Xander agreed.  "I know the demon needs steel?"

"The steel nuggets and we brought the dagger just in case," Ron admitted, handing it over.  Xander was much better with them.  "Then we finally found it, figured out what the problem was."

"The twins created a dildo for it and it's happily splitting itself or whatever," Draco offered.

"There were signs on the ground," Ron offered, pointing at one.  "There's one."

Xander stepped back outside of the box, going to look at it.  "Bill, there have been visitors.  The warnings were violated."   A few more curse breakers in black leather appeared. "They were working on the pregnancy thing and found it had already been broken into," Xander told them, pointing at the warning.  "They've been broken.  My consort said he found an illusion shield. I taught them to test the danger markings to see if it was something that should make them run.  They did."

"Ron said he felt three things and two shadows," Bill offered.  "Alex said the thing that almost got him isn't down there."

The Specialists, curse breakers who only handled the worst of the worst, and guarded this tomb and the storage areas, all winced in unison.  "All right," the one in the lead said.  "We need to question them."

"I removed the power traces," Bill offered, pointing at the boys.  "They're Alex's new apprentices."

"The blond is my consort, Ron is my apprentice.  Draco's a consort veela," Xander corrected.

"Even better, we can get things from him," another said, going in to talk to them while the others worked over the area.  Finally he warded them and brought them out of the area back to the opening.  "Okay.  Is the same shield up now?"

Draco tested it.  "It's flimsier.  It was like a thick curtain before."  The Specialists all frowned.  "Is that bad?"

"Someone's been in Merlin's Tomb, which holds some of the worst artifacts in known history, Draco.  What do you think?" Alex asked dryly.  His consort glared at him.  "I know, it's not your fault.  You guys solved the pregnancy feelings greatly.  We appreciate the hell out of that and the fact that someone made it past the demon guarding it is worrying me.  Who could do that?  It was a really powerful elemental."

"Luna probably couldn't," Ron pointed out.  "Ethan might know though."

"No, no more demons near this stuff," Bill said quickly.  "That is a good point though.  Did you guys feel an elemental, an earth elemental?"  They shook their heads.  "Then it's probably dead.  Who could do that, Alex?"

"Watchers or the Legacy."

"The Legacy?" one of the Specialists asked.  "You believe in that fairytale?"

"I know members of the group," Xander told him.  "I've been in the London House while I was trying to help Philip Callaghan after he was tainted."  They winced.  "So yeah, and they've got some of us working for them."  He looked at Draco.  "Call Nick, tell him to keep it quiet, absolutely quiet."  Draco nodded, stepping away to do that.  "If not, it was the Watchers and there's not many of them.  Luna Lovegood's in a relationship with one of their former people and he might know."

"Fine.  We can talk with him after we look," the lead Specialist agreed.  He walked down the stairs, snapping his own glow sticks on.  "Ron, did you not think to clean up after yourself?"

"I put all my used ones in my pocket," he defended. "I was knocked out on the way back so they may have fallen out."  He patted his pockets.  "Nope, I've still got all five of mine. Malfoy?"

"I had six, I've still got five.  So only one's mine."  He carefully picked up the one lying there, looking at it.  "It's not like ours."  He put it into the baggie that was held open for him.  He and Ron led the way they had come, going down to the danger marked alcove.  "Here is where we tested."

Bill grimaced.  "This isn't the way into the tomb."

"No, it's not," the Specialists agreed, either saying it or by grunting.

One of them went for the demon and came back blushing.  "He's in heat and splitting himself off."  He led the way back to the main Tomb entrance, testing it.  "This one hasn't been broken, just that one."

"That's like the closet," Xander said, looking confused.  "Why is anything in there?"

"That's the ritual room," Draco said, suddenly getting it.  "I can feel a current, a swirling current. It's like it's being blocked by something."

"That would be the shield," Bill noted.  Draco shook his head.  "You can feel past that?"

"Yeah, so can I," Ron admitted.  He walked forward, touching the wall again.  He found the knob and turned it, opening the chamber doorway.  He pushed the door open, standing there to stare at bodies on the floor.  "I think they're still here."  The Specialists pushed him out of the way and headed inside.  "Is that normal?"

"No.  They got greedy and there are still things missing," Xander assured him.  "Can you feel the attraction?"

"It's less now," Draco noted.  He walked to the doorway, pointing at something on the low altar.  "That's what's drawing me."  Ron looked over his shoulder and nodded.  "The same thing?"

"It's to draw sexual creatures and demons," Xander said as he walked inside.  It was calling to him too but he could ignore it.  He looked around.  "Guys, this room used to be full if this was the original altar room.  It's been nearly fifty years since I was in here, but I put the Cross of Lexian in here.  I remember staring at the painting," he said, pointing at it.

Bill looked and nodded. "Me too, but I thought the room was higher up."

"It is higher than you think when you take this path," one of the younger Specialists noted. "This is the back way, you guys would have come through the main opening, which passes on the other side of the tomb."  He looked around.  "I was in here last month and it was full.  I wrote a report saying that there was no more floor room, I remember it.  We're in deep."

"Geneva got stolen from too," Xander said bitterly.  "We helped with the cleanup and retrieval."

Draco groaned. "Not another dog spirit."

"No, none of those," Bill said, giving him an odd look.  Draco pointed at Ron so he rolled his eyes.  "Ron, you released a hunting spirit?"

"No, it was already gone, it just decided Ron made an excellent stick for fetch," Xander corrected absently.  "We're in deep if this was full.  There's no hammer, no tongs, no staves.  No rack that held the staves.  There's no cursed armor.  No cursed swords.  Not even a possessed item in the whole room.  They only left the eating ones and two of them are now broken.  That means all that's left is the sexual one."  He looked around.  "There's no way this was done in a few minutes. You can't shrink this stuff even with the help of the nexus."

"Is the hallways supposed to be rutted?" Ron asked.  Everyone shook their heads. "It is.  We followed the ruts."

"So it's one of you guys," Bill said, looking at the Specialists. "Are all of you here?"  They shook their heads.  "Can we find the others?"

"Two are on their honeymoon together," one of the guys said.  "Plus our boss and the newest guy.  Tremaine."

"His family's a Watcher's family?" Xander asked.  They all looked stunned.  "Okay.  So we find Wesley.  Ron, go get up Luna and have her find Wes right now.  Draco, go back to the house and take an inventory.  Aunt Cordy said she thought someone may have been in the swamp but she couldn't tell."  They nodded, rushing off.  "What do we do now?"

"Now, we worry," the lead Specialist said dryly.

"We wait," another one agreed.

"We do it topside because we're only contaminating the area," Xander decided.  They nodded and headed topside, with him stopping in to check on the demon.  "Who's been taking stuff from in there?"

"The guys in white.  They have the correct passes.  They said they were moving things to work and examine things."  He shrugged, looking at his new clone.  "I think the color's off."

"It's where he's so new.  No one except the Specialists get in there for a bit.  We're going topside.  Some things are missing that shouldn't be.  They never told us."  The demon nodded, sitting up.  "Not your fault.  You couldn't have known."  He jogged up the trail, going back to get some fresh air.   "The demon said they had passes.  Correct passes.  They were in white.  Said it was for examination and to work on some of the things."

They all turned to look as goblins started to dart in, one of the Specialists pulling one aside. "Have you taken anything out?"

"Three things for examination.  How many are missing?"

"The greater majority in the room with the painting," Xander said.  "My apprentice and my consort went to deal with the pregnancy problem.  We found it because of them."

The goblins looked at him. "Pregnancy problem?" one asked.

"The demon was in heat and desperate," Bill said with a shrug.  "It was driving all of the human women insane.  It was about to make any pregnant ones miscarry and the rest were being compelled to get pregnant. They found things weakened and barely in place.  They just didn't know it."

"Come, we will look," the head goblin ordered.  He walked them down the correct way, then opened the door and gasped.  "How?" he managed to get out.

Xander led them back up and down the way the boys had come, pointing at the grooves in the floor.  "I'm guessing it's the rack for the staves."  He opened the other door, letting them inside.  "The demon said they were wearing white and had correct passes."

"You have a theory?"

"One of the missing guys has a brother that heads the Watchers," Xander told him.  "Them or the Legacy found them.  Before you say it, I do know members personally," he said at the opening mouths.

"Who?"

"The head of the London House is William Sloan.  He went to an American school and Oxford's College of Magic for Anthro and curse breaking," Xander told him.  "Nick Boyle is also a member but he's in San Francisco."

"Nick said he hasn't heard anything but he's putting a query out on a particular artifact to see if anything comes up at all," Draco offered as he walked in.  "The swamp was breached, but nothing looked to be missing.  Unless it was something really small and inside something else we're good.  They didn't get past the water ring."

"That's a blessing at least," Xander sighed, shaking his head.  "I knew I should have asked for a special courier pickup but we've been so busy keeping ahead of the emergencies I forgot."

"What pieces?" the goblins asked.

Xander looked at him.  "We found the DeGossi Emeralds and the Land-Braun collection in Sunnydale."  They gaped at him.  "We've handed six different emergencies since then," he defended.  "Don't give me those looks."

"We'll send someone up tomorrow to gather them," one of the goblins assured him.  "Anything else of interest?"

"I've got a whole case of jewelry and so does Ron," Draco admitted.  "We split it that way this time.  He's got some obsidian stuff and I got the real jewels."

"I kept the rest of the haul, and again it's waiting to be cataloged in the Swamp.  Again, due to everyone and their brother needing help recently."

"It has been an active summer," the head Goblin over all the curse breakers agreed as he walked in. "You did not come to Paris yet?"

"We were going to be there today but I got hurt in a duel with a stupid little muggle joker who wanted Draco's mother."  He held up his bandaged hand.  "It's got a few holes in it at the moment."

"Very well then.  As soon as possible so we can test them for remaining taint."

"I unraveled a few power lines and unwrapped two more," Bill offered respectfully.  "They were down here to deal with the demon, who was in heat again."

"Which is a good enough reason.  Were the charms broken?"

"We followed the lights on the ground to the entry," Draco offered.  "The shield at the top of the stairs was like a thick curtain, nothing else."

"Interesting. I noticed the ruts and the demon did say that they had correct passes, down to the magical stamp in them."  He looked at Bill, who had figured out how to do that.  "Who did you teach that to?"

"One of the teachers, Gilmore.  Plus one of the guards came in during the tutorial and watched for a few minutes.  He may have figured it out from just that."

"You finally figured that out?" Xander asked with a grin.  "Good job, Bill."

"Thanks, Alex. How was Vegas after we left?"

"There was a hostage situation that I fixed and it got Ron and Dawn tickets to see Kid Rock.  Penn's trying to talk him into coming over here."

"Lovegood will be over the moon," Draco said dryly.

"Listen to some of the lyrics, you might be surprised, and he is a wizard," Xander offered, giving him a look.

"Fine.  I will.  Should I try to help Ron now?"

"No, stay here for now," the head goblin ordered.  "The other?"

"Is waking up Luna Lovegood.  She's the one who's the crossover with chaos magic.  One of her lovers is a former Watcher."

"An excellent idea, Alex.  Thank you."  He went to help, mostly by taking care of the artifact that wanted to eat anyone with a sexual nature.

***

Ron pounded on the Lovegood's front door, getting the house elf.  "I need Luna up and dressed right now and Wesley if he's here," he said, pushing his way inside.  "We think the Watchers did something to a tomb and took some powerful artifacts."  The house elf ran up the stairs to get her mistress up.  Ron nodded politely at the older man who came out.  "Sorry to wake up, sir."

"It's not a problem.  I'd say you were one of Ginny's kin?"

"Ron Weasley," he said, shaking his hand with a grin.  "We just stumbled upon evidence of a theft and we think the Watchers did it so we desperately need to see Wesley at the moment."

"That's not a problem.  I'm sure Luna would love to help you.  Which tomb?"

Ron started to tell him but then grinned.  "I wish I could, sir.  They'll have to release that information."

"Not a problem, Ron.  That's a good thing."  His daughter came running down the stairs in only her hair.  "Daughter, clothing is not optional outside of your room."

She frowned at him then looked at Ron.  "What happened?"

"There's been a theft and it's either the power hogs in the Legacy or some of the Watchers we think, there's a relation to one of the top ones."  She groaned.  "So we need Wesley."

"I'll floo him. Where should I send him?"

"Bring him here and I'll take him back with me since I have to report back."

"Fuck me, it's in Stonehenge," she said, eyes going wide.  He only blinked.  "Oh, fuck me."  She ran back up the stairs to get Wesley on her private floo.  "Love, you've got to come here right now.  There's been a theft of an important artifact and they think it was your former bosses."  He started then nodded, puling on some shoes and a jacket so he could come through the floo.  "Let me dress, I'll be right down."  She threw on a dress without anything under it and a pair of sneakers, plus her favorite cloak.  She grabbed her extra supplies kit and followed him down.  Ron gave her a look. "If it was them, chances are they used some chaos magic and I am skilled in it."

"Fine, but you're staying topside, Luna.  I can't give you authorization for that."  She nodded so he drug them outside and created the portkey, sending them back to the box Bill had set up.  "Stay in here.  I mean it."  He ran back to the opening.  "Wesley's here and so is Luna," he told his brother as he came up.  Bill grimaced.  "She does know chaos and demonic magic."

"True, she would," he agreed. "She does worship them and sleep with one."  He went that way to question them.  "Head back down, Ron."

"Yes, sir."  He jogged down the stairs, walking more carefully up the tracks.  "Reporting as ordered," he said as he walked in.  "Alex, are you all right?"

"Headache," he admitted.  "That thing that wants to eat me is close by and getting closer."  He looked at Ron.  "Who did you bring?"

"Luna and Wesley."

"Good idea.  That thing is coming closer.  Yo, boss, I'm serious.  Remember, that thing's really small.  Someone's wearing it."

"Tell us when they enter the cavern," he ordered.  He looked at Ron.  "Luna...."

"Lovegood, sir.  She's a practicing chaos and demonic witch as well as being in my sister's year at Hogwarts.  She's also the lover of a former Watcher."  Xander moaned and grabbed his head so Ron moved to steady him.  He heard a scream and sat him down, trusting Bill to handle Luna.

Topside, Luna had just felt the magic sucking everything around them and tried to capture the person doing it, but he managed to escape with a smirk.  So she screamed in frustration and pointed a finger at him, intoning a harsh string of syllables.  "Capture him," she told the hellhound that appeared.  "The smirking one."  The demon dog pounced and held him down, sniffling the human's soul.  "Not yet.  We need him alive, Brutus."  She walked out of the box carefully and over to him, looking down at him. "You're wearing an amulet of immense power.  It's been reformed because the curse on it is warped."  One of the cursebreakers coughed so she looked at him.  "He's wearing an artifact on him and it's sucking in magic.  If I can feel it I know you can."

"I can't get near that thing to test it," he admitted.  "I'm not that powerful."

Bill came over and laid a hand over the amulet.  "That is one of them.  It's been reworked into the wolf's head pendant he's wearing."  He straightened up.  "It's the only remaining piece of an ancient sword that sucked souls.  Alex is affected by it most of the time.  He's got to be in pain downstairs.  Good work, Miss Lovegood.  Have your...pet sit on him for a bit longer please."  He went to tell them downstairs.  "Luna Lovegood found one and had a hellhound sit on him."

"Luna, since when do you call up hellhounds?" Wesley asked in mild reproof.  "I would have gotten him for you."

She kissed him senseless.  "Hush, Wes.  I'm good at conjuring hellhounds.  They're just big, fluffy puppies to me and you know I've always wanted a dog."  She kissed him again, making him have such a goofy grin that the curse breakers had to look away before they laughed. "Now be good and go search him for me.  My puppy won't hurt you.  He loves what I love."

He nodded, trotting over there to find the pendant and take it off him, plus anything else magical that he might find.  He handed over the wand to the nearest human in leathers, figuring out that they were probably curse breakers.  "He's clean."

"Fine.  Brutus, drag him to the tree and keep him against it," she said, pointing at a tree.

"Not that one, ma'am," one of the guards said quickly. "Have him drag him this way and I'll tie him up so your...pet can guard you some more."  Luna nodded for her dog to follow so Brutus drug the fully grown man by his collar and handed him over, then trotted over to get petted and scratched for his good behavior.  It wasn't like he was that hungry anyway.  He nuzzled his mistress gently, then lay on her feet staring at the others working around them.

Wesley gave her a look, then shook his head.  "Luna, you shouldn't really keep a hellhound as a pet.  It can corrupt them horribly.  They might not want to eat."

"Oh, he usually lives in London, he likes muggers," she said with a grin.  She squatted down to scratch him some more.  "Such a good boy, Brutus.  Yes, you are.  If you can't be my familiar then I'll have to make do with petting you now and then."

"Ma'am," one of the curse breakers said.

"I'm not that old," she said firmly, glaring at him.  He took a step back.  "Is there new news?"

"We're going to the Watcher's building.  We'll need you and your companion to come with us.  Plus your pet if you want him to."

"Sure.  From what I've heard about Tremaine, he should be eaten," she agreed.  Wesley handed her the bag she had brought with a smile and she took his hand, walking off with him, Brutus following.  One of the curse breakers got a good scare when he stopped to sniff him but he only wanted to pee on him so it was all right until it started to eat at the leathers.  Luna apparated after the curse breaker, taking Wesley with her, and when they landed Brutus sat down and howled.  A few more hounds appeared, all of them gathering behind their mistress.  "Follow the curse breakers," she ordered.  "The people in leather and jeans are our friends.  They're taking the evil things away."  The dogs followed the curse breakers, rushing inside once the door was broken in.  Luna giggled.  "They're such nice puppies."

"Luna, I had worried if you've been warped, now I'm sure.  But I can't seem to make myself feel more than sorry for taking that innocence."

She kissed him.  "I don't mind that innocence.  After all, you took the other too," she said with a wink.  She took his hand and walked inside.  "Hello?" she called lightly.  "We're here to take back the things you've stolen.  Before we let Mr. Dumass come after you lot. I hear he's a bit cranky because he's not had sex recently."  A few of the curse breakers gave her a look, but the older ones laughed.  "Ask them," she told them, smirking at them. "He's famous for it."

"Infamous probably," Wesley corrected.

"Either way, the Daily Prophet and Witch World Weekly like to report on his sex life," she pointed out.  "It does make for some interesting reading.  I never knew that Hufflepuffs held sex magic rituals in their upper common area."

One of the curse breakers gave her an odd look.  "Since when?  They didn't when I was there!"

"According to the papers, just before the end of term," Wesley said with a shrug.  "I have no idea if it was true or not.  You'd have to ask Mr. Dumass or his consort."

"Malfoy was a Slytherin the last I knew.  They all were," another breaker noted.

"Yes, it was part of the brilliant guarding activity in the school.  Each house got a Gryffindor to guard them, except for Slytherin.  Mr. Dumass and his consort stayed with Hufflepuff.  We got Miss Granger.  Mr. Weasley got Gryffindor.  Slytherin got Mr. Zabini."  She smirked at him.  "As for their jobs, well....  Let's just say that Draco's main contribution to the house was their fashion got much nicer.  A bit darker, but that was mostly fine."  She smiled at them. "Do duck now, please."  They ducked and the gunshot ricocheted off the walls.  "Wes, dear, is this your battle or mine?"

"Oh, let it be mine," he said darkly, storming up the stairs.  He owed them quite a lot.

Luna let out a happy sigh.  "I love my man.  Wesley, love, should I call Ethan in?"

"If you want."

"No!  Not until the artifacts are secure!" one of the breakers ordered.  "They might explode."

"All right then," she agreed phlegmatically.  "If you wish."  She sat down to wait.  Her stallion was perfectly capable of making them pay for getting her up as well.  She fingered a strand of her hair while she waited.  A bitch showed up holding a puppy so she squealed and took the puppy to pet.  "I'll watch him.  The others are upstairs."  The bitch sniffed her then headed up the stairs.  Luna stroked the puppy's head and back, letting him go back to sleep on her lap.  She wanted a puppy but her father said she couldn't have one until after she graduated, so it was nice enough to be the puppy-sitter for the mommy dog until then.

***

Xander woke up in a familiar room and groaned, covering his face with his hands. "Hospital all full?" he asked when he heard footsteps.

"They hate you curse breakers for some reason," Madam Pomfrey said dryly.  "I can't think of why that might be."

He uncovered his face, giving her a long look.  "Because we're horrible patients.  We usually only want patched up so we can go back to our fun and games."

"Yes, I've seen that trait before.  Thankfully it suits Mr. Weasley and Mr. Potter's future career ambitions since they're like that as well."  She fussed over him while she checked him over.  "Yes, you should be fine.  No more headache?"  He slowly shook his head.  "Good boy, Alex.  Now get up and out of my infirmary."  She smiled.  "Before your consort comes back for another year and you're forced to stay again."

He hopped out of that bed and grabbed his clothes, kissing her on the cheek.  "I love you, Poppy, but not that much."  He put on his clothes as he walked, sending himself home as soon as he got far enough away from the school.  He walked in and headed upstairs, eyes wide.  Draco smirked from their sitting couch so he laid down with his head in his consort's lap.  "Good.  We're not going back ever again.  Even if I'm dying, I do not want to go back into that school ever the hell again.  Promise me?" he pleaded.

"Unless it's an absolute emergency I'd never make you go back in there and stay in the infirmary.  Especially since she kicked me out and said I couldn't go back.  Said she'd turn me into a bludger and let the twins beat me off," he said with a grin.

"Hmm, that's an idea.  A good bit of sex should cure everything that's remaining."  He sat up a bit to kiss his consort, putting the book aside.  "Less reading, more snogging, Draco."

"Yes, love.  You know I live to serve."  He kissed him again, then stood up, making his lover fall onto the floor.  "Tag?"

"Come here," Xander said smoothly, standing up with a leer.  "You can run, but it won't save you."  Draco laughed and took off for their bedroom, trying to get the door closed, but he failed miserably.  Alex was simply stronger.  And bigger.  And more motivated.  Alex got in with a wicked chuckle and Draco found that he *had* to take off his clothes to reward him for that sound.

A True Bane to the World

Xander looked around the marketplace, frowning greatly.  He had no idea where his apprentices were, or even his consort.   He had told them to stay still.  It wasn't like the open air market in Rio was that great, but it was still confusing if you weren't used to city life.  Which neither of his boys were.  They had even managed to spring Harry for a weekend and he was lost too!  Someone was going to kill him, he was sure of it.  He was equally sure that the line would start behind Molly Weasley, who could wield a very impressive cast iron frying pan.  He looked at the nearest seller with a grimace.  "I left my two apprentices and my consort here.  Red hair, black hair with glasses, and an arrogant blond.  Did you see which way they went to get into trouble?"  The man laughed and pointed.  "Thanks."  He shook his head as he walked off, unable to cast a locating charm since he was surrounded by muggles.  Those boys were in such trouble when he found them.

***

Draco looked around at the stalls, then sighed.  He knew he was lost and he would get yelled at, but he had earnestly wanted to strangle Weasley and Potter when they started to chat quidditch and ignored he was standing there as well.  It's not like he kept up with the team standings at all.  No, he wasn't a fan as well.  He rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, going back to his shopping.  He was in the fabric section and there were a few very nice pieces around here.   He found a delicate pale pink silk and fingered it, wincing at the harshness of the fabric.  Low thread count.  "Do you have that in a higher grade silk?" he asked.  "Something around the six or seven hundred thread count?"

The shopkeeper gave him a long look.  "You know silks?"

"Yes, and I'm dressing my sister.  She does deserve the best and that's a bit harsh for her delicate skin."

"I have a crepe gauze in that color," he offered, pulling out the sample piece.  "I've got about six yards of this one left."

Draco felt it, nodding at the soft feeling.  "Is it dry clean only?"  The man looked offended.  "Just asking.  She hates it when I get her expensive things."  He fingered it again.  "How much a yard?"

"Seven dollars American," he said proudly.

Draco considered it.  "Five?"  The man looked offended.  "Just checking, some do haggle."

"Ah, that is for lesser things," he said with a sneer.

"Yes, but if you don't try they seem really upset for some reason," Draco said with a shrug.  "Seven is fine, I'll take all of it.  How much is that local?"  The man pulled out a calculator to do the math in front of him, and Draco paid without a qualm, even though he knew he was being cheated.  What did he care?  "Which way to the food section?  Or the book section?"

"They're near each other.  Go to the end of this row, run into the building and slide along the wall past the stalls.  Go over the ditch and around the corner, entering through the gate.  They'll both be in front of you.  Food's nearest to the entrance and the books are father in.  Anything else you needed?" he asked with a smile.

"How about a less dirty approach?" Draco suggested.  The man laughed. "Sorry, I'm not wearing my leathers today and my shoes will scuff.  She'll whine since she helped me buy them."

"Go down to the other end of this row, turn right, go six rows over, then head to where the worst smells are.  That's near the books, then head back toward the entrance."

"Thanks."  He waved the package as he walked off, having to come back for his wallet.  He grimaced.  "My consort's going to be pissed," he muttered as he walked away.  Something about this place was making him brainless.  Maybe it was the aura of 'muggleness' that exuded from all the people.   Or maybe it was something else.  He passed by the next row and saw a scaled body go into a shop, so he went to investigate.  He smiled winningly at the shopkeeper.  "Hello.  Draco Malfoy-Dumass," he said smugly.

The shopkeeper let out an ungodly scream and people started to run.

"Now now, there's no need for that.  I'm looking for some things for a friend. I have no intention of hunting today. Or my mate."  The exodus still continued.  He sighed as he went to find a book to write notes in, noticing one shopkeeper had stayed, though she was giving him a long, harsh stare.  "I need books to note observations and translations in.  Do you sell those?" he asked nicely.  If only to ease the glare.  He hadn't been glared at like this since his father was alive and he had been six.

"I don't.  The woman in blue does.  Martna!"  Martna turned and turned pale.  "He looks for books."

"This way, Mr. Dumass," she said quietly, glancing around as she led him into her tent.  She made quite sure no one could see her talking to that one.  "You are a member of the clan of Dumass?"

"I'm consort to Alexander," he said fondly.  "He's reaged you know."

"We had heard of that evilness," she said softly.  "What books do you seek?"

"Well, I truly seek some books to make notes and translations in, plus a diary for my little sister and possibly a work journal, but if you have something of interest I would adore looking at it," he said with a winning smile.  Maybe he could find something to make his consort be proud of him and give him that goofy, happy grin again.

She nodded and headed behind a beaded curtain.  She came out with a small stack of books.  "Those are plain journals.  You do not need one already charmed?"

"No, I can do any and all charms myself," he assured her.  She put three books beside the stack, laying each one out carefully.  "What are those?" he breathed, touching the cover of the first one.  The rush of evil ran up his fingertips, making him remove his hand before he could be permanently tainted. "That holds something?"  She nodded.  "All of them?"

"Two, the middle one came with them.  It is the method of entrapment."  She sat down across from him.  "Do any of the journals suit you?"

He checked them, pulling out the ones he liked.  "I like these.  How much?"

"The books are cursed," she whispered.  "I do not want them near me. I do not want their taint."

"Agreeable.  How much for the others?"

"Seventy-five pesos?  I'm sorry, I'm not from this part of South America."

He gave her a gentle smile.  "That's fine, neither am I.  This is my consort's idea of a vacation."  She gave him a hesitant smile.  "Did you want to charge me for the others?"  She shook her head quickly.  "Then I will take them."  He pulled out his wallet and handed over a few bills, which added up to about three hundred in the local currency.  "Is that enough?"

"More than," she agreed with a small smile.  "I thank you.  Let me bundle the books up for you."  She wrapped the three books together in brown paper and put the others in a bag.  "Thank you for not smiting us."

"That's my consort, I'm simply a veela," he said smugly.  "He'll be getting these tonight."  She relaxed and nodded.  "I thank you."  He shook her hand and left, heading to find his consort or Potter.  He could still feel the taint in the books.  He found the regular book section and then found Harry and Ron looking at journals.  "Where's my consort?" he asked calmly.

Ron jumped and looked at him.  "Where did you go!"

"You ignored me, I left," he said bitterly.  "Where is he?  Someone just gave me a present for him," he said, patting the bound books.  Ron reached for them and he shook his head.  "No.  You can't touch them.  I can still feel them."  Ron looked amazed so Draco kicked him.  "These need to go into a storehouse.  They're storehouses of their own."

"Oh."  Harry smiled at him.  "He's probably hunting us.  I doubt he'd let any of us go for very long."

"Fine.  Let's head to the food section and sit down.  He'll expect us to go there with the way Weasley eats."

"We just came from there," Harry admitted.  "What else did you get?"

"Journals. A diary and a work journal for Dawn."  He gave a slight shrug.  "It'll only help her study her unique gifts.  We need to find a steady place to wait for him."

"With our luck, it'll be somewhere he's already searched," Ron pointed out dryly.  "Let's duck out of the way for a moment."  He got them into a nearby alleyway and pulled his wand, casting a 'find me' charm, one that was taught to all little children in the wizarding world.  Alex would be pulled in their direction until he found them.  Ron put his wand back up and looked at them.  "It should be fairly soon."

"Not soon enough," a smug voice said in Portugese behind them.

Draco groaned and shook his head, handing everything to Potter.  "Here, hold that.  Do not unwrap the books or let them out of your grip."  He and Ron moved to face the threat.  "Leave, now.  Before we're forced to harm you in painful ways."

"In other words, we're gonna kick your asses," Ron sneered.  "My coworker is a bit too polite and upperclass at times."

The man sneered and snapped his fingers, and his friends came out of the shadows.  "Think so?"

"Want magic or fists?" Draco muttered.

"Fists.  I'm not sure they're wizards," Ron said sadly. "Or else I'd get practice in today after all."  He waved on the leader.  "Let's end this.  Come on."  The man chuckled and a few of his people rushed them.  Ron and Draco both showed that Xander had been training them to brawl.  Not to mention Methos and Tipsy.  Those few were taken care of with only a few hits landed on them.  Draco wiped off the blood on his lip with the back of his hand.  "All right there?" Ron asked.

"Just fine," Draco said dryly, in his best 'bored now, please find something more amusing for my pleasure' tone.  "Any more of you want to try?"  The rest of them rushed and it was a harder fight.  The first few joined in once they made it back to their feet.

Behind them, Harry groaned and shook his head.  He couldn't let the books fall, he could feel the taint in them.  Whenever one of them got close enough, he did use the books to hit them or kicked them.  He knocked two people down on his own.  That only left seven for Ron and Draco.

"What is going on here?" a female voice shouted.

"These heathens jumped us while we were waiting on a friend," Draco said as he finished off the one in front of him.  The rest had backed off and were giving her a fearful look so he and Weasley turned to look at her.  "Are you the authorities?"

"No, I'm their boss," she said smugly.  "Such little boys to be out all alone," she sneered.

"Not really," Ron pointed out. "We're all of legal age.  Then again, we don't usually like to hit girls."  The thugs laughed at that.  Ron gave them a look.  "I do have *some* manners and my mother's tougher than your boss."

Draco caught her when she lunged, sneering back.  "Some of us aren't that mannerly when attacked.  As far as I'm concerned, you're simply a man who was emasculated at a young age."  He kicked her in the stomach and then punched her, knocking her onto the ground.  "There, I believe that concludes this session of 'how to kick ass', do come back for the next show."

She got to her feet, staring at them.  "You're not normal," she sneered.

"Actually I am," Ron told her.  "It's Draco who's unusual."  He smirked at her.  "Want me to try now?  I'm actually better trained thanks to my big brothers."

Alex walked in the alley and coughed.  "I'd leave now," he warned with a deadly smile.  "They're my apprentices and my consort."

"One of you is gay?" she said in derision.  Draco wiggled his fingers with a bright smile.  "Fine.  Let's leave."

"Remember, gay men the world over have learned how to fight people like you," Draco called after them.  "We consider it stress relief when our clothes don't match."  He took the books from Potter and handed them over.  "I found the bruja section and went looking for work journals.  She gave me those for us to store somewhere."

Xander laid a hand on them, eyes going wide.  "Where?"

"About four rows back," Draco said, pointing in that direction.  "I can lead you back."

"Please.  They would have tainted her.  They're leaking and oozing nastiness and I want to check her."

"I sort of caused a panic when I introduced myself," Draco said hesitantly.  Xander gave him a long look.  "Sorry!"

"Not an issue.  I have a reputation and my name is pretty well known."  He followed them back that way.  "Stay with me and together this time," he ordered impatiently.

"Yes, Alex," they chimed in unison.  They smirked at each other.

"Harry and I stayed together," Ron added.

"You were ignoring me, I left before I kicked your bums," Draco informed him curtly.  He led the way down a side path he had taken when he had gotten lost.  This 'finding' stuff was rather fun.  He walked them into the section.  "The pale purple tent had them."

"Thanks.  Hold this."  He walked that way, making what few people who had returned hide again. "Not here for you at the moment," he assured them.  He tapped on the tent frame before walking in.  The woman squealed. "I've come to make sure it didn't taint you. My consort said you acted wisely to get rid of the books."  She nodded quickly.  "Hold out your hand.  It will not hurt."  She held out a shaking hand so he clasped it, staring into her eyes as he felt her aura.  Then he smiled.  "You will be fine.  Have your priest rebless you and rebaptize you if you can find one who will.  You will be fine."  She nodded and withdrew her hand.  "I thank you and assure you that they will find themselves in protective custody.  Are there other such things I should look at?"

"There are," she whispered, pointing a shaking finger.  "Across the way in the green tent that smells.  They do bad things to creatures."

"Thank you, m'lady.  Be safe and find a priest soon."  He walked out, heading that way with the boys.  He tapped before walking in, stopping the drug sales going on.  "Hello."  He grinned.  "Alex Dumass."  The seller squeaked and backed against the back of his tent.  "I was told to come here and see what sort of evil you were doing with your clients.  Is it something I need to deal with?"

"No," he breathed.  "They come here of their own will.  I do nothing with them.  A few have been taken.  There is something feeding on my clients."

"They are drugged up," he pointed out gently.

The man swallowed.  "It is a girl, young, pretty, brunette."

"A slayer?"  The dealer nodded quickly.  "I cannot interfere with her duties.  I know of them and have helped a few of them."  The dealer's face fell.  "Anything else?"  He shook his head and his grunt couldn't quite cover the sound of a thin scream.  "Who was that?"

"She is no concern of yours," he said more firmly, standing.  "She is mine by rights.  She agreed."

"Yes, but she has the right to leave if she doesn't like you," Draco told him.  "It's a veela, I can feel her."  He followed the screaming, finding the cage she was shackled in.  "Calm yourself," he ordered, exerting his nature.  She went silent, staring at him.  "I'm Draco Malfoy-Dumass, son of Narcissa and cousin to Emilia."  She let out a squeak, she was in the more demonic form so she couldn't speak.  "I will free you if you tell me you have broken your contract with him."

She changed back.  "You are a consort veela?"

"Half," he admitted.  "My consort is Alex Dumass."

She hissed.  "You consort with one who kills us?"

"He doesn't kill us, he kills demons when they cause trouble.  Big difference," he pointed out, crossing his arms.  "Have you ended your contract with him?  Are you willingly breaking it?"

"I am," she agreed.  "Let me out."

"Fine."  He pulled his wand and opened the locks, then opened the chains holding her against one of the walls.  "There, you're free.  We are heading back to Paris for a few hours, we can take you back to the Hall."  She relaxed.  "Do not charm the ones with me.  Please, they'll get cranky otherwise and I'll have to deal with them like that for days."  He led the way back out after looking around the room.  "Alex, there's other demons chained up back there.  He's selling them or killing them I'd guess."

"Both," she said, sneering at the man.  "You will not have me.  I have no trust and no faith in you.  Our deal is off."

"Next time you come back, it'll cost you more," he said bitterly.  "Take her and go.  The rest are no business of yours."

Xander hauled him closer, looking into his eyes.  "They are if they're harmless demons," he said coldly.  "If I have to free them all and take you out, I will.  I do know what you are.  It was very apparent."  The dealer whimpered and went limp, making Xander drop him. "Or should I call the Slayer here?"

Harry looked in the back room, then at Xander.  "Mostly harmless, Alex.  All of them look in bad shape."

"Who is the local slayer?" Ron asked.  "Would she be ethical or not?"

"I have no idea," Xander admitted.  He looked at the man on the floor, then sneered.  "Fine, let's do this my way.  My will be done.  Mom?" he yelled.  His mother appeared in a dull flash.  "Look in the back room.  We wanted your opinion on the legality of kicking his ass."

She lifted the curtain and looked, then glared at the man, making him cry.  "Let me, my son," she said coolly.  "We owe him."  She looked at Draco.  "You do better than I had hoped.  Thank you, son-in-law."

"He believes we are not the same," the veela sneered.

"Honey, we're not the same," Xander's natural mother sneered back. "I'm a demon of a higher order.  Would you like me to make sure she gets back to the hall, son?"

"If you want," Draco agreed.  "I promised to help her so I will if she wishes."  The woman shook her head, getting away from him.  "Then we'll be going.  We've got some cursed books to deal with.  We'll be in the city for a bit longer if you need us."

Harry's head suddenly came up and he tracked a scent he could feel and smell.  He touched the back wall, finding the catch to open the doors instinctively.  "Oh, shit," he said, backing away quickly.  "I don't want to know."

Xander's mother looked, then glared at the dealer again.  She smiled at the boys. "Leave, please.  Before my Lord and Master gets here.  You know he's got it in for you, dear one."  She kissed Xander on the cheek and patted Draco on the back, watching as they left.  Then she drew a symbol in the air.  "Lord, I've found the person with the symbiotic drugs."

The Lord of All Demons appeared in a bright flash, and the dealer and the veela both went to their knees to offer their obeisances.  "What is the stink of mortals?"

"My son, Lord," Alex's mother said with a fond smile.  "Plus his consort.  He freed that one," she said, flicking a finger at the veela on the floor.  "I offered to take her to France, to their ancestral hall, so he wouldn't have to deal with her."

"That is fine.  You have done well, my beloved.  You deserve a reward."  He stroked her cheek.  "What is in the back room?"

"Many injured of the lower classes, those born differently, Lord," she said quietly.  "My son wanted to know how to best handle this without involving this man's Slayer."

"That's fine," he agreed.  "Take her and leave.  He and I shall...talk," he said with a sneer for the man.  Xander's mother disappeared with the veela as fast as possible.  She didn't want to even witness that discussion.  "So, you muddy your calling and harm those which are mine?" he asked dryly.  "Even though you are now one of mine by right, vampire?"  The dealer whimpered.

***

Xander walked the boys into the local Gringott's branch and back past the main cashiers' floor.  He tapped on a door he could see the symbols for 'curse breakers' on and entered at the grunt.  "Morning," he said cheerfully.  "Dumass.  We were just handed some nastiness that needs to be protected from everyone and everything."  The goblin gave him a long look so he grinned.  "Yes, the rumors are true."

"So I can see," he said bitterly.  "You ask no fees?"

"No, they need to be hidden," Ron told him.  "They're oozing crud."  He handed over the wrapped parcel.  "We don't want a fee for taking them away from those who would release whatever is in two of them."

"The third book holds the knowledge to trap them according to the woman who gave them to me," Draco told him.

"She's fine, only needs reblessed," Alex told him.  "I already checked."

"Very well then," the goblin agreed.  "What are they?  Books with trapped creatures?"  Draco nodded.  "Two and one with the knowledge to trap, correct?"  Draco nodded.  "Where is it?"

"In the center of the two, as she always put them.  She was wandless, not local, and scared to death of them."

"That shows sense for a muggle," the goblin noted dryly.  "Thank you.  We will send these to the new storehouse in Tahiti."

"You'll need somewhere like Sweden," Xander warned.  "They literally ooze magic and nastiness to our senses.  Someone will try for them.  They're higher demons at the least."

"Very well.  Do you want to take them there?"

Xander grimaced.  "I've been there once," he whined.  "Do I have to?"  The goblin burst out laughing.  "Let Harry and Ron take it.  They're my apprentices.  Draco and I will wait for you.  Unless you want to go too, Draco?"

"No, that's fine with me.  I do most of the research," Draco said fondly.  "Let them do the dangerous stuff.  I'll stay where I won't get dirty."

"Wimp," Ron taunted.

"Ron," Xander warned.  "You've known Draco how long and how well?"

"Point," he said bitterly. "Fine, we'll take the books up to Sweden.  How do we get there?"

"There's a portkey available for emergency transport," the goblin assured him.  "This way, boys.  Thank you, Cursebreaker Dumass.  Should I make a note you're available?"

"Nope, we're on vacation," Xander said fondly.  "I just got done with another year of school.  Again."  He saluted and drug Draco off and out to eat.  "Have fun, boys."

"Gee, thanks," Harry called, waving at them.  He looked at Ron.  "How did we get suckered into the nasty jobs?"

"You're apprentices," the goblin assured him.

"Oh, that's right," Ron agreed dryly, giving his best friend an odd look.  "Just think, you could have stayed at camp this weekend."

"Sorry, but I missed hearing you snore from the next bed," Harry said as he followed the goblin.  "It's odd after sharing a room with you for so long.  Oliver doesn't snore or mumble."

"Are you two involved?"

"No, we were roomies at school," Ron said with a grin.  "I like girls, mate."

"That's a nice thing in most cultures," the goblin said.  He handed over the sheet of paper.  "Both of you take hold.  I'll set it off."  They took hold, Harry taking the books back.  "Ready?"  They nodded so he set it off, watching as they disappeared.  "I hope the people in Sweden aren't too full."

***

Harry landed and looked at Ron, holding the books firmly against his chest.  He helped Ron up off the floor, looking around the cavern they were in.  "Hello?" he called quietly, wincing as it echoed.

"We're full," a goblin called back, coming out with a light.  "Why are you here?"

Ron pointed at the bundle of books.  "They've got stuff trapped in them and they're leaking.  We're Dumass' apprentices."

The goblin blinked at them.  "He's back to work?"

"As a freelance," Harry agreed.  He held out the books.  "They really are oozing.  They're in there with the book containing the knowledge on how to keep them trapped."

"Very well.  Come this way.  We may have a storage container open."  He led them to the office, which was a bit chilly.  He nodded at his superior.  "Dumass sent them."  He dropped his quill and stood up, looking at the boys, eyes open wide.  "Books with trapped spirits."

"Demonic at the least," Harry offered.  "Two books with the book to keep them trapped in between."

The goblin cast a small charm on the bundle and shuddered.  "That is too high risk, even for this facility," he offered.  "Come, I will send you to Siberia.  They are more guarded than even we are."   He wrote out a note and gave it to Ron.  "Give this to the goblin who comes out to protest.  He only speaks Russian but that is in his native language."  Ron nodded.  "We thank you for turning these over."

"They were handed to Alex's consort when he was looking for work journals," Ron told him conversationally as they were led back to the entry point.  "Another portkey?"

"Yes, it is the only way in.  They will send you back here and we will send you back to where you came from."

"Brazil," Harry told him.  "We were in the market.  Never a dull moment," he said with a grin.

"Not with Dumass around," the first goblin agreed dryly.  "We've seen him a few times, especially when we've had things start to work in concert."

"That's okay, I'm part of the reason why we found out Stonehenge had been broken into," Ron told him.  They gaped at him and he nodded. "They got most of it back, but there's a hunt for the last few things."

"We're going to get an update from Paris," the boss said lightly.  "Good trip and stay warm."  He activated the portkey, sending them on.  He looked at his minion.  "They're very strong."

"Dumass would only pick someone who could keep up with his life," the minion pointed out.  "Look at what he gets into.  Things like that fall into his lap.  I'm assuming his great- nephew would be the same."

"Great-nephew?"

"Potter," he said smugly.  "It was all over the recent news."  He went to do the update from the main office.  He was bored anyway.

"Well," he said, looking at the spot they had left from.  "Very interesting."

***

Ron and Harry landed, this time on top of each other and the books.  "Ow," Ron complained as he stood up, helping Harry up this time.  "Sharp elbows, Harry?"

"Sorry, Ron," he said with a grin.  "I need to eat more."  They looked at the person walking their way and Ron handed over the note.

The man looked stunned and shouted something, handing over the note.  He bowed slightly to them.  "I am Cursebreaker Tomerion," he said in broken English.  "You are Weasley and Potter?"  They nodded.  "You have books?"

"Three," Harry said, patting the bundle.  "Two stuffed with something and one with the key holding them in check."

"Thank you for finding such.  Alex always did find the worst things," the cursebreaker said fondly.  "Saves me from doing so."  He bowed slightly again, then looked at the goblin, who grumbled something.  "He said this is more dangerous than we have room for."

"Sweden said the same thing," Ron told him.

"Ah."  Tomerion nodded quickly.  "Goblin Tghrsth said that it must go to Antarctic facility.  Said here is too dangerous.  Have had a few attempts."

"Good to know," Ron agreed.  "Geneva did too.  So did Stonehenge."  The goblin looked at him so Tomerion translated for him.  The goblin babbled something angrily.  "Is he mad at us?"

"No.  He says that they dishonor him by keeping him here when he could have kept them safe.  Come, I will escort you.  Have you cloaks?"

Harry shook his head. "We were on vacation in Rio."

"That is fine.  We will have to come here anyway, borrow some," he said, handing over the cloaks.  "Come, we go."  He changed the portkey and took them with him to the Antarctic facility.  "We are here."

"Brrrr," Ron said with a shiver.  "You weren't kidding, it's freezing down here, man."

"It's about sixty below outside, Celsius," a goblin said as he walked up to them.  "What is it?"

"Books stuffed with things," Harry said.  "Two of them and one with the knowledge to trap and keep them."  He handed over the package.  "You're the third spot."

"You don't get much more secure than down here," the goblin noted.  He cast a charm on the books and nodded.  "Yes, this is the right place for this.  We thank you.  Thank Alex for us too.  How is he?"

"Nineteen, horny, and married," Ron said with a grin.  "You are?"

"I am Delsian.  He'll remember me," he said fondly, winking at him.  "Thank you, Tomerion.  Have a safe trip back.  Assure that one in Siberia that I will bury it in the ice myself."  Tomerion nodded and took the boys back, giving them a smile as he took the cloaks and sent them back to Sweden, who sent them back to Brazil.

Ron walked out of the back room past the goblin.  "It went to the Antarctic," he told him.  The goblin's eyes went wide.  "Thanks for that."

"You are quite welcome.  Thank you for turning them in."  He got up to show them out, escorting them to the doors.  "Be safe and many prosperous hunts," he said in parting.

"May all your transactions bring great profit," Ron said in badly accented goblin, making that one laugh.  "I'm still learning," he said with a grin.  "I'm trying."

"You try very well," he assured him.  "Go, have fun.  Get warm on the beach with many women."  He went back inside.

Harry looked at Ron. "That's not a bad idea."

"It's not," Ron agreed.  "Race ya?"  He took off.

"Cheater!" he called, racing after him.  "You should have let me have the head start, Ron, you run faster."

"This way all the girls give me hot looks first," he taunted as he jogged out, grinning at everyone. "We're heading to the beach," he told one shocked looking woman.

"We're on vacation," Harry said happily as he raced past her.  He didn't care what the papers said.

***

Alex looked up as their suite's door opened, grinning at the boys. "Have fun in Sweden with the paperwork?"

"We ended up in Antarctica," Harry said as he closed the door behind himself.  "Delisan said hi."

"Delisan."  Alex sat up.  "What is he doing working in a storage facility?"

Ron shrugged. "He said he'd be burying the books himself in the ice."

"Bullshit," Xander said as he stood up.  "They don't put them directly in the ice.  They put them in lockboxes."  He went to the fireplace and connected them to the floo, sitting down in front of it to call his home Goblin coordinator.  "Hey, it's me.  We just handed over some stuff, which I sent with my apprentices.  Since when has Delsian been in charge of Antarctica?"

The goblin gave him a long look, then looked behind himself for a moment, then looked at him again.  "He's not."

"That's what the goblin down there said his name was," Harry offered.  "We took it down there.  From here in Rio, to Sweden, to Siberia, to there.  Tomerion went with us from Siberia to Antarctica."

The goblin nodded once.  "Did you fill out forms?"  Both boys shook their heads.  "Then something is wrong.  You would have had many forms to fill out normally."

"The guy in Sweden cast a charm, sent us on with a note for the guy in Siberia, who sent us down there," Harry offered.

"Then they would have notes filed," the goblin told him.  "The end facility still would have had papers for you to fill out.  The others may have had you sign things but it is not necessary."  He looked at Alex.  "Stay on alert."  He disappeared.

Xander stood up. "Don't tell Draco," he hissed, shaking his head. "He'll throw another fit."

"Of course he will," Ron agreed with a grin.  "This isn't the vacation either of us wanted to have."

"Me either," Xander agreed dryly, going back to his seat.  "Did the run feel good, boys?"

"Yup," Harry agreed, flopping down on the couch.  "Anything else coming up?"

"Not yet," Xander noted.  "Go nap or play."

"Thanks, Alex," Ron said, dragging Harry up and into the room they shared.  "I knew there was a reason he wanted us to go."

"The guy in Sweden said he'd been there a few times, so he probably wanted to avoid it and give us experience in it," Harry agreed.  He laid down on his bed. "How's Dawnie?"

"Doin' fine.  She just got done with her usual shoe shopping trip.  Aunt Cordy got the other Cordy over to help her shop for school clothes.  Her robes are apparently very neat."  He laid down facing Harry.  "How's camp?"

"Kinda boring.  I'm doing all these drills that are really simplistic.  Then again, I'm helping retrain my backup seeker too," Harry noted.  "He's worse than Ravenclaw's new one was last year."  Ron grimaced.  "Really.  Draco plays much better."

"Suggest it.  He's been bored recently," Ron offered.

"Alex would kill me, Ron."

"Maybe, maybe not.  Draco doesn't do that much at the moment.  He's doing a lot of research but a lot more wandering around at times too.  Maybe he'd like to train as a backup."

"Maybe.  I know we traded to get him and a new beater.  He was part of the deal."  Harry grimaced.  "The beater's pretty good.  Big, huge bear of a guy.  Russian too.  He's exactly what I would think of when I think Russian."  Ron grinned at that.  "He's a crap cook though.  We all fixed something for dinner and he spices everything very liberally."

"I guess that would keep you warm in that cold country," Ron pointed out.

"I guess," Harry agreed.  "Maybe I should suggest it to Draco.  We're a pretty easy going lot, but we're determined and fanatical.  You thought Oliver was bad, this new beater is ten times worse.  He studies the stat sheets and rewatches games over and over again.  He's got stats and star player's pictures on his wall so he can watch them when he's in bed.  Even Ollie's in awe of how frantic he is."

Ron snickered. "I'm sure he could make Dawn see it's more than a game."

"Maybe.  If anyone could, those two could.  He shook Oliver's hand, recited his stats with a smile, and said he was pleased to guard someone like him.  That he had been wasted before."

Ron burst out in giggles. "Good on him!  Oliver's a good keeper.  One of the best probably."

"I think so and so does Bear.  That's what we call him."  He grinned at Ron.  "He wanted to meet you."

"I'll walk you back into the camp," Ron promised. "If I'm not injured from this latest crap."

"Sure, Ron.  I'd welcome it," Harry agreed with a grin.  Someone knocked on their door.  "We're still dressed."  Draco walked in, giving them odd looks.  "Hey, Ron suggested you might want to think about trying out for at least a backup spot on a team."

"I can't get that far from Alex," he pointed out bitterly.

"If you want to play quidditch, I'll be a supportive spouse," Xander called from the living room.  "Go for it.  Ron and I will travel back and forth for the games and work."

Draco looked out at him.  "You're serious?"  His spouse gave him a smile and a nod. "You wouldn't mind?"

"No.  You're good, and you need to find out if only to soothe yourself.  Go for the big tryout."  Draco slumped and nodded.  "If you want, I won't force you to, Draco."  He held up a hand and his mate came over to sit in his lap, getting a cuddle.  "I would never force you to do anything, Draco, but I want you to be happy.  If quidditch makes you happier than curse breaking and research then go for it.  You should.  You and Harry both need to get it out of your system.  I'll be back for as many of the games as possible."  He pinched him.  "It's been a year, Draco, we can widen the leash a bit.  It'll be uncomfortable but I'd give you a way to find me always, even if I'm not in the country."

"I'll consider it," he agreed, resting his head on his mate's shoulder.  "What if I stayed?" he asked quietly.

"Then you're my favorite researcher and my only bed partner," Xander said simply.  "I would never give you up, Draco, and if you try to leave me I'm going to get pissed and fight for you."  He gave him a squeeze.  "I value you just as much as I do Harry and Ron.  Got it?"  He looked up, giving him a long look before nodding.  "Good.  I want you to stay around and help me but I'll let you go play quidditch if I have to."  He gave him a gentle kiss.  "Now, weren't you resting so I could pounce you tonight?"  Draco nodded, starting to look smug.  "Whatever would you do without constant sex?"

"Be able to sit on my broomstick without wincing?" he suggested lightly.

Xander kissed him.  "I want you for more than your skills, Draco, get that out of your mind right now," he said against his lips.  "I want all of you, not just the slutty and pretty parts.  I even like your funny left little toe."

"I'm perfect, even that toe," he said firmly.  "There is nothing on me that isn't perfect."

"Hmm, I should investigate that," Xander agreed with a smirk and a wink.  "Unless you want to see if you can wait.  I am addicting and it's time for your next fix, Draco."

"Yes, but you're more addicted than I am," he said smugly.  "If I'm an addict, you're so addicted you always crave my taste and touch."

"Oh, I do," Xander admitted. "Each and every minute of each and every day."  He gave him another kiss then put him gently off his lap.  "Go rest.  I'm holding myself down to two tastes a day at the moment.  Otherwise you'd never get out of bed."

"How is that different from now?" Ron asked from the doorway to his bedroom.  "Are we going to be doing anything tonight?  We were going to sleep, finally.  We've done four countries today."

"Sure, go take a nap, Ron.  If something happens I'm sure someone will find a way to wake us up."  He grinned at him.  "Tomorrow, we're going over Goblin again.  I got told you tried very hard, but your pronunciation still stunk.  You've got to be able to speak it and read it because half the forms are in it and only two-thirds of all goblins speak English."

"We ran into one earlier that only spoke Russian."

"I've met him," Xander admitted.  "We communicated via pantomime.  He was pretty cool about it though.  He knows he's behind the rest of them.  Go nap."  Ron nodded, closing his door so he could lie down.  Xander smirked at Draco.  "You too.  Go nap.  I'll be in soon to make your body beg and howl for my touch."

"Sure you will, as long as we don't get called out."

"Siberia and Antarctica are like Stonehenge, only those certain cursebreakers get called to those sites.  Tomerion is probably going to be the one investigating since he was there."  He leered at his mate.  "That means I'm all yours."

"Mine all mine?" Draco teased.  Xander nodded, smirking at him.  "Then come pleasure me, my love slave.  I'm not in the least bit tired."  Xander whooped as he lunged for his mate so he could carry him into the bedroom.  He even remembered to lock the door so Ron and Harry couldn't walk in and complain about the noise.  Again.  Like they had for the last two nights.

In their bedroom, Ron and Harry shared a look, then burst out into giggles.  Listening to those two was usually really funny.  Alex called Draco all sorts of pet names in the bedroom and Draco hardly ever got to complain about them.

***

Fred Weasley's head snapped up and he grinned at his big brother, who was over to help them with the pre-school rush even though he was on vacation, as a message came across his tattoo.  "Hey, Charlie?"  Charlie gave him a look and a grin.  "Ron wanted to know what to do about the dragon that is presently following him.  It's a baby he said, steamer but not putting out too much, and it's red."

"Red?"

"Red.  He said they're in R io if that helps.  Said they were walking through the muggle marketplace again and one toddled out to him and tried to eat him, and now it's stalking him."

Charlie looked up and silently asked for patience for his youngest brother.  "His mentor isn't around?"

"No, apparently he and Potter are out alone for the moment.  They were sent to get breakfast and got lost."

"Can I kill the twit?" Tipsy asked as she came out of the back.  "He woke me up.  Severus is laughing his ass off, I can feel it.  So is the Prof."  They both jumped as something exploded.  "George?" she called.

"Present.  It worked."  He came out of the back, his face was smudged with smoke and his hair was standing on end.  "It worked quite well," he admitted with a grin.  "What's wrong with Ronnikins now?"

"Being stalked by a baby dragon through a muggle marketplace."

"Wonderful, only Ron could manage that one," George agreed.  They all looked at Charlie.  "Got any good advice?"

"Get the dragon away from the muggles?"

"Harry's laughing about some of the muggles thinking it's a cute toy robot the guys are playing with.  I'm wide open at the moment," she said bitterly.  "They're leading it back to the wizarding section they found yesterday.  Ron wanted to know if he could pick it up safely?"  Charlie shook his head with a grimace.

"Oh, Holy Mother of Merlin," Fred hissed.  "He thinks it's impressed.  It's trying to suckle his ankle."

Charlie groaned and put his head down on the counter.  "Why are we related to Ron?"

"I have no idea," George said dryly.  His wife suddenly winced so he stroked her stomach, crooning at their newest offspring. "It's all right, we won't let Ron watch you without supervision," he assured them.  "You won't be tormented or changed funny by Ron."  Tipsy swatted him.  "Got anything to tell him?"

"Yeah, don't mother it," Charlie said.  "It's probably too late, but still!  He should know better!"

"Harry just made a joke about it being the only grandchild your mother was getting from Ron," Tipsy told him.  "I sent it to Alex, he's rolling around laughing and Draco feels slightly worried."

"Why are you so open?" Fred asked. "You weren't last time."

"I was so!  This time it's just those four."  She flicked a finger in the direction of Dumass Manor.  "The Prof just called to tell them to get Ron out of sight with the dragon."

"No!  Keeping a dragon is illegal!"

"Yay, it's a baby and it's stuck on him," Tipsy complained.  She decided to do the practical thing, going to call Arthur.  "Hey, dad."  He smiled at her.  "Just got a heads-up from Ron.  He had a baby dragon stalk him around a muggle market in Rio."  Arthur's mouth opened and she held up a finger with a grin.  "He's asking for help, but they're around muggles and they think the baby's already impressed or something.  Harry was thinking it'd make a wonderful grandchild for you."

"If Charlie can't bring home dragons as grandchildren, neither can Ron," Arthur assured her.  "Molly won't stand for them steaming or burning things.  Let me call Species."  His head disappeared and he tossed some more floo powder into the brazier next to him.  "Ah, Helen," he said happily. "Ron ran into another dragon.  This time it's a baby, it was in a muggle market, and it's been following him around."

"Bloody hell!  He impressed it!"

"Not intentionally.  I know Ron and he's got a healthy respect for dragons.  They're in Rio, who should I tell them to go to?"

"Rio?  Brazil?"  He nodded.  "There's not much down there, but they do have a species department.  The problem is that they're not illegal to keep or kill down there.  All of Central and South America is really lax on dragon rules.  Let me talk to my boss, he might know someone down there personally. Hold on."  She put him on hold and called out to her boss.  "Boss?"  She came out of the office, giving her minion an odd look.  "Ron Weasley just called his dad in a round-bout way.  He's in Rio, in a muggle market, and he's had a baby dragon follow him around."

The boss blinked a few times, then shook her head.  "Baby?"  She nodded.  "We're sure it's a baby?"

Alex's head appeared in another floo.  "Oh, good, it looks like you've already heard about Ron.  Yes, it's impressed.  It's a hatchling and it wanted him as its first food.  He's panicking, doesn't want to keep it, but we have to find a way to get it out of the market and that means picking it up."

"Could we transfer it to Hagrid?" Helen suggested.

"Keeping a dragon is illegal," the boss said automatically.

"Yeah, but that's a school," Helen reminded her.  "It would be for educational purposes and you *know* Hagrid's always wanted a dragon.  I heard he nearly had one but Dumbledore made him send it to Charlie."

"All right.  Dumass, bring the dragon and Ron back with you.  I want you both in this office with it within an hour of landing back on your native soil."

"That means we'll have to pick it up," Alex reminded her.

"I know.  It sounds like it's too late anyway.  Just bring it here and we'll figure it out.  Isn't Charlie around here at the moment?"

"He's on vacation and this makes the second thing we would have called him about," Alex said with a small grimace.  "I hate doing it to the guy."

"Yeah, but he's a Weasley so he'll relax about it eventually," Helen said dryly.  "How long should that be?  So we can find the poor thing food."

"It takes about an hour and a half to apparate from here.  So maybe three at the most.  Thanks, loves."  He hung up and looked at the kids.  "Okay, Draco, go pack."  Draco grimaced but nodded.  "Harry, Ron can take you back to camp after we get this settled with the dragon.  I want you and Draco to head back to the house.  Tell Dawn what's going on and Aunt Cordy to tell her to expect anything at the moment.  It's a baby and she's always liked baby anythings."  Harry nodded, grinning at him. " Good.  Ron, apologize for worrying Charlie, and let's head up now.  The other two can follow."

"Yes, Alex," he said, picking up the beast.  "Just a bit more and you can eat," he crooned.  "My big brother will have a lot of food for you, yes he will," he said, nuzzling the dragon like a mother would.  He and Alex apparated, thinking of the Ministry.

Harry looked at Draco when he chuckled. "What?"

"Is there some syndrome that's labeled 'Only Harry or Ron Could Do This'?  I've always wondered that."

"Some days I wonder that myself," Harry admitted.  "Come on, I'll help you pack.  I'll do mine and Ron's stuff since Alex had more."  They sent themselves back to the hotel suite, and had to obliviate the housekeeper cleaning their rooms, but they got checked out and on their way home fairly quickly.   Harry landed first, and walked inside.  "We're back, Ron and Alex are at the Ministry with the baby dragon that tried to eat him," he called.

Dawn and Aunt Cordy both came out of the library and gave him a long look.  "What?" Dawn asked.

Draco walked in.  "Ron was found and adopted by a baby dragon in a muggle marketplace.  It tried to eat him, and since it couldn't it was impressed enough to want to keep its new human pet.  They're at the Ministry."

"Alex thinks it just hatched and Ron found egg shards still in its scales.  It's a pretty little steamer, bright red."

Aunt Cordy gave them a look.   "How do you and Ron do things like this, Harry?" she asked finally.

Harry shrugged.  "I don't know.  How does Alex?"

"Good point," she muttered, heading into the kitchen.  "I'll wait to hear if it's coming back before laying out some fresh meat.  Dawn, go back to your herbology lesson please."

"Sure.  Can I see the dragon?"

"Of course.  It's a beautiful little thing," Draco assured her.  "Perfectly conformed.  Bright red.  Only puts out a bit of steam now and then.   I think they're trying to allow Hagrid to keep it."

"That would be a nice thing for him," Harry agreed.  He carried his and Ron's bags up to their room, dropping them onto their beds.  He looked at the house elf that came in.  "Don't worry about it, we can unpack."  It looked hurt so he sighed and relented.  "If you're that bored.  Ron's brown leathers need some stain treatment," he offered.  She nodded and opened Ron's bag to put everything in the wash.  "Thanks, Me."

"Welcome, Mr. Harry."  She grinned at him.  "Dragon?"

"Yup, Ron was taken as the pet of a baby dragon because it couldn't eat him.  Thinks it's his mum or something."

"He takes good care of babies," she assured him.  Once she was done on Ron's bag, she turned to his and pulled everything out to put it into the wash as well.  All boys were dirty and nasty things, they always needed to be cleaned up after. That's why she liked them so much.

Harry went down to help Dawn with her lessons, finding Draco already in there.  "Herbology?"

"Starting with water bladders," Draco agreed.

"I liked those lessons," he said happily, sitting down to help.

***

Alex and Ron appeared and the guards gave them shocked looks. "They told us to bring the dragon that adopted him," he said dryly.  "We had been surrounded by muggles with the baby dragon following him."

"Go right up.  Do you need to know where Species is and can I register your wands?" the guard asked.  They handed over their main wands and he registered them.  "The others?"

"I've got three and Ron's got two," Alex admitted.  "You really want to do all of them?  I promise not to do more than leer at any of the pretty girls.  My consort would kick my ass."

"Go," he said, handing over a glowing ball of light to lead them.  Once they were safely in the lifts he shook his head.  "How do cursebreakers get into such things?"

***

Back at the shop, Bill had finally made it out of bed and had come over to help and to leave their mother some peace and quiet so she didn't have to fuss over him.  "What's going on?" he asked as he walked in.

"A baby dragon decided to take Ron as a pet," Fred told him with a grin.

"He's a cursebreaker by nature," Bill said happily.  Charlie gave him an odd look.  "I had a tainted unicorn that tried to take me home and mate with me.  Cursebreakers are great because trouble calls out to us stronger than any substance we have an affinity for."

Tipsy looked at him. "Then I suppose Harry and Ron will make *excellent* cursebreakers," she said dryly.  He grinned and nodded.  "They also found out last night that the Antarctic facility wasn't being used correctly.  They had to drop off some stuffed books and didn't have to fill out paperwork?"

"Then I'm equally sure that the Specialists will have one hell of a cold day," he said cheerfully.  "Makes me glad I turned down that job."  He poured himself a mug of tea then came over to work a register.  "There, you go find Ron and beat him for me," Bill said.

Charlie gave him a look.  "They got ordered to come up to the species department.  They're thinking Hagrid might be able to keep this one."

"I'm sure it'll make a wonderful present for Dawn and she'll watch over it while they're at school," Tipsy said, smirking at the older brothers.  "Have the two dimbulbs told you that I'm carrying twins?"  They broke out in identical grins and patted her on the stomach.  "Thanks, really.  Don't beat them for me."

"You're twins, they're twins, feel lucky you're not carrying a set for each one," Bill said dryly.

"Ron said the same thing the first time," George said.  "Hands off the wife and my kids.  We'll let the family babysit, but only if someone watches Ron while he does it."

"Being in trouble is the natural habitat of cursebreakers," Bill assured him.  "I almost thought you two would be joining me."

"I'd never stand that much dirt," Tipsy assured him.

Bill chuckled.  "Good to know, Tipsy.  They could be doing some underwater stuff though."

"I'd hate living on a boat even more.  I can't imagine morning sickness on a boat since I get boat sickness too."  She took Bill's tea to sip, adding a good spoonful of honey to it.  "Better," she said with a smile.  He gave her a tolerant look and headed into the kitchen.  "Can you bring me some of the carrot sticks too?" she called after him.

"Sure, Tipsy.  Where are the first two?"

"Sleeping, let them," the trio said in unison.

Charlie and Bill both giggled at that.  "Sure," Charlie agreed.  "We'll play with them later.  It'll be a nice change from dragons."

Tipsy gave him a look.  "You've never taken care of twins, have you?" she said with a grin, patting him on the side of the face.  "Remember, they have to wear clothes, they cannot run down the alley, and we have leashes for when you want to take them outside to play.  Even at your Mum's."  He looked confused.

"It's necessary.  Joxer wanted to live with the garden gnomes," Fred said.

"Incredibly smart of her of course," George agreed.  "My daughter totally."

"She's mine," Fred reminded him. "Iolaus is your boy because he likes the mud."

"Guys, no fighting.  There's no way to tell which one is which since you're identical twins."  She took another sip of her tea, taking the carrot sticks when they were offered.  "Thanks, Bill.  Guys, doesn't this mean we can work in the lab?"  The twins let out an evil chuckle as they led her back there.

Charlie pointed at an empty shelf.  "That one's reserved for whatever they create during this time."

"It'll be great," Bill assured him.  "They've got two great minds between them.  Hers and the one the twins share."

Charlie burst out laughing.  "You are so bad," he chided.  He looked down when he felt little arms go around his legs.  "Hello, now.  Are you up, Joxer?"  He picked her up and took off his t-shirt to put on her.  "There, now you're even dressed."  She beamed at him and gave him another hug.  "So, you're mobile now.  Are you liking it?"  She giggled and pinched him on the nose.  "Thanks, love."  He kissed her on the forehead, using his wand to open the door since someone had knocked.  "Sorry, we lost track of time.  The twins are creating more stuff with their wife."  The kids streaming in cheered.

"Hey, she's wearing clothes, I'm impressed with your abilities," Luna said lightly.  "Good morning, Joxer.  How are we this morning?"  Joxer gave out a maniacal giggle.  "Ah, that's the baby Strife loved."  She patted her on the head.  "Any word on new Ron troubles?"

"A baby dragon decided to take him as a pet.  They're in the species department," Bill told her.  "How are your demons?"

"Wesley's not a demon yet," she said primly.  "Otherwise, Ethan is wonderful."  She smirked at him. "Even my Da's gotten used to him now.  Thinks he's wonderful for making me do my homework and giving me incentive.  Speaking of, he gave me something for the twins."

"Guys?" Bill called.  Fred came out of the lab.  "Luna has presents for you."

Luna handed over a small vial.  "Incubus' blood.  From one born."  Fred gaped at her and she grinned.  "Ethan likes pranks."

"Thank him for us," he said with a bright grin as he took it.  "Has he talked to Snape yet?  Seen what he can change with him?"

"No, he said that would be business and he can't imagine Professor Snape as a demon or as a minion," she said honestly.  "He said I'm enough of one."  She waved at Joxer then skipped out.

Fred looked at his little girl. "Don't grow up like that one," he pleaded.  He kissed her on the forehead.  "You behave and get dressed in real clothes sometime soon so Uncle Charlie can have his shirt back.  Going with only one shirt might make him chilly."  She let out another wicked chuckle.  "Yes, that's my girl," he praised happily.  He went back into the workshop.   "Joxer has that wicked chuckle down pat now," he said proudly.  He held up the vial.  "Incubus blood?  From one born?"

Tipsy snatched it and took it over to her newest treat.  "Thanks.  I needed this.  I was going to ask Alex if he could get me some."  She grinned at them as she let a few drops out, then sealed the vial with wax.  It was very hard to get blood from an incubus.  They weren't the most willing to subjects about giving things.  Not even pubic hairs.  The whole lot of them shaved apparently.

The twins shared a smug look.  Even if her new treat was used on them, they'd love it because their woman created it.

***

Dawn walked into the kitchen later that night, hugging her boyfriend.  The dragon let out a complaining noise.  "Oh, you hush," she cooed, scratching it gently.  "Remember, he's not your Da, I'm taking you to your Da in a few days.  We're just sitters."  The baby cheeped and ate another piece of meat.  "Good boy dragon," she cooed.

"Dawn," Alex complained.

"Well, it's cute!  It's a baby!" she complained.

"A baby that can eat your puppy," Ron snorted.  "Where is he?"

"Safely helping Harry nap."  She beamed at him.  "Isn't he supposed to be back tonight?"

"Oops, yeah.  Thanks, love."  He gave her a long kiss then walked away, leaving her with the dragon.  "Harry, come on, we've got to take you back, mate."

"Coming, Ron!"

Dawn smiled at the baby, petting it gently while it ate another piece of meat.  "Good boy dragon," she assured him.  "You just eat as much as your little tummy can hold."

Alex shook his head as he stood up.  "Remember, it is still a dragon, Dawn."  He went to his former study to grab a book. It was now an auxiliary library and he had a few books in here he had been meaning to read.  Midnight came in and settled in with him, giving him a playful bark and an adoring look for being his body pillow.  "Sure, guy, you nap too.  Stay away from the dragon though.  It's young but it can still hurt you and we don't want you hurt."  He stroked him gently.  "Good boy, Midnight."  Midnight groaned and moved his head so the long fingers could hit just the perfect spots.

***

Ron walked Harry back to the gate of the training camp, smiling at the coaches waiting.  "Sorry.  We had a bit of a problem earlier with a dragon."

"Again?  I thought he was going for curse breaking, not dragon handling," the head coach complained.  "Are you done?"

"Quite," Harry agreed with a grin.  "One decided to adopt Ron.  It's a hatchling."  Both coaches whimpered.  "I was standing right next to him too."

"Thank you," the defensive coach told Ron.  "We couldn't handle him having a dragon here."  He opened the gate.  "In you get, Potter.  Thank you, Weasley."

"Weasley?" a booming voice said from inside a nearby building.  A big bear of a man with red hair came out and hugged Ron across the gate.  "Weasley!  It is good to meet you."

"Thanks.  Harry told me about you," he said with a grin, shaking his hand.  "I'm Ron, I was the right Weasley, right?"  Bear laughed and nodded, smiling at Harry.  "So, are you a fan of Dawn's too or just think I should join Harry as Oliver's backup?"

"You play?" he asked in amazement.

"I'm not great, but I'm okay as a keeper," Ron agreed.  "Most of my family plays something or other.  The twins played beater at school."  The big man beamed at him.  "I tell you what, we'll be here for another few days so I'll come up to watch a practice tomorrow?" he asked the coaches.  "I promise I won't bring the dragon with me."

"Dragon?" Bear asked.

"Yeah, we're late because a hatchling decided to adopt me," Ron admitted, scratching the back of his head. "In the middle of a muggle market too.  Followed me around.  Fortunately most of the muggles thought it was some new robot."  Bear gaped at him, then pounded him on the back with a laugh.  "Tomorrow?  That way you can rest?"

"Thank you.  That would be greatly appreciated."  Bear nodded and left, talking with Harry on the way back to the dorms.  "You really do know him?"

"He slept in the next bed for seven years, plus he helped me get into all sorts of trouble," Harry assured him.  "You didn't hear about the flying car thing?  That was his idea."  He opened the door.  "Hey, Oliver, I'm back," he called.  "Ron said hi, he'll be up to watch practice tomorrow.  Without the dragon."

Oliver Wood came out of their room, giving him an odd look.  "Dragon?"

"Dragon, a baby dragon," Harry assured him with a grin.  He sat down, pulling Bear with him to tell them all about it.

At the end, Oliver could only shake his head.  "I always knew the whole Weasley clan was trouble incarnate."

"You should meet the twin's twins," Harry said dryly.  "Joxer tried to go live with the garden gnomes recently.  Dug into one of their burrows and we couldn't find her for about an hour."

"I haven't even seen pictures of them," Oliver pouted. "I had to find out by the tabloids."

Harry winked and went to the floo, calling the shop.  "Hey, Tipsy, tell the misbegotten things you married that they forgot to send pictures to their friends, namely their former Captain and the ladies."

"Shit!" Fred yelped.  "Can we come through?"

"Sure," Oliver said with a grin.  "I hate being so cooped up by the press, but I'd love to see the kiddies. I can come there if you want."

"No, we can bring them as long as we have the baby leashes," Tipsy promised with a smile.  "So you're Oliver?"   He grinned and nodded. "Cool, step back.  My stomach's a bit huge at the moment."  He stepped back and she sent herself through with the kid she had been holding, handing him over.  "That's Iolaus."

"Ooh, you're a pretty one then," Oliver cooed, making the baby cackle at him.  "And a true Weasley it seems."  He sat down with the baby, waiting on the other one.

The twins came out with her between them.  "Sorry, had to force clothes onto her again," George offered, coming over to sit next to him so he didn't have a lapful of baby.  "This is Joxer."

Oliver stroked her cheek.  "You're adorable too.  You are both so cute little Weasley troubles."

Tipsy sat down with a groan. "You have no idea.  Harry, is there some sort of foot....."  She trailed off as Bear pushed the coffeetable over.  "Thanks," she said with a smile.  "It's another set of twins and the last.  The doctors promised to tie me off after these two."  He grinned at her.  "So, you'd be Bear then?  Harry told us about you."  He nodded and shook her hand gently.  "Good to meet you.  Like pranks?"

"Quite a lot."  He looked at the children.  "They are adorable.  Do they crawl?"

"All over," Fred assured him.  "And they get lost.  That's why we've got the baby leash."

"It's probably normal baby stuff.  Have you heard from the girls?"

"Not since we sent out announcements of our marriage.  I'm guessing they got upset because it was so sudden," Fred said bitterly.  "If we had time, we would have waited and invited everyone, but Mum pulled a wand on Tipsy so we did it to protect her."

Tipsy nodded.  "She did.  Arthur had to have her sedated and drug inside after the ceremony."  She stroked her stomach, calming the kid that had just kicked.  Iolaus squealed so she took him back, letting him pat the new ones.  "Yes, you're a good big brother already, Iolaus."  She stroked through his thick red hair.  "How you got Percy's hair I'm not sure, but you're a good big brother."

"We know he can't be Percy's, he's got a sense of humor," George said dryly.  He handed over the daughter, letting her charm another person.  "You're allowed to come play or babysit anytime you want, Oliver," he said earnestly.  "We'll even hide you from the press."

Oliver grinned at him.  "Thanks, guys.  It's not often I get offers like that."  He patted the tiny back, making her belch, and him laugh.  "Yes, you definitely are a Weasley, little one."  He cuddled her until she protested.  "I want some of my own some day."

"For that you'd have to date," Tipsy pointed out.  "Press or not, Oliver."  She smirked at him.  "Or I do know some very nice young women.  A few my age, a few younger, and one that's Harry and Ron's age."

"She likes seekers," George reminded her.

"That's why she took Harry to last year's Ball," Fred agreed.

"No, she did that as a favor," Harry said smartly. "Otherwise we would have been hounded by the press about who I was taking."

The twins shared a look.  "Hey, Oliver," George started.

"Where are you living now?" Fred finished.

"Here since that girl broke into my last place," Oliver admitted sheepishly.  "I hate being so insecure but they all try it."

"We've got a nice apartment above the shop," Fred offered.

"Mined walkway with pranks and treats waiting for those who don't have the passcode," George agreed.

"We'd only ask that you pay a bit of rent and agree to babysit now and then," Fred assured him.

"Plus invite us to any really great parties so we can laugh the next morning," George finished.

"We were going to live in it but our wife has a wonderful house that we shamelessly stole as our humble abode," Fred told him with a wicked grin.

"We'd invite you out there but it'd pretty well embarrass you since Fred's a noisy git," George offered.

"Me? I'm not the one who screams bloody murder," Fred retorted, sticking his tongue out.  "You've never learned to be quiet when you're alone.  Lee used to complain about you all the time."

"Lee used to complain about both of you," Oliver reminded them, grinning at them. "You guys sure?  I don't want to be like a house guest."

"No, it'll be all your place," Fred assured him.  "Say fifty gold a month?  It's a wonderful six room apartments with a huge bathroom and walk-in closets."

Oliver sniffled.  "I love you guys," he said, hugging each of them.  Joxer pouted at him until he hugged her again. "Yes, I love you too and this means I'll get to see you both more often."  He looked around.  "Where's the other one?"

Harry snorted and pointed at the door.  "He headed that way but the door was closed.  The bathroom's in the other direction so I'm guessing he's playing in one of the bunks."

The twins got up to stalk their son, eventually having to look outside on the pitch.  They found him crawling across the soft grass and had to run to catch up to him.  "Iolaus, you're not old enough to fly yet," George called as he ran.

"Bloody well moves like he's already on a broom," Fred complained as he ran.

Tipsy giggled.  "They make very good fathers," she told Oliver, giving him a short hug.  "Welcome to the brood.  I'll adopt you like some odd stepchild soon enough."  She pinched him on the cheek.  "Should we send out apartment warming notices?"

"Please, just to the teammates," Oliver agreed, grinning at her.  "I like you.  You suit them very well."

"Thanks, studly.  I think you're cute too."  She took Harry's arm and led him back to the room.  "Give, I want to hear the whole story with the dragon.  Plus the concert and the second attempt at a kidnaping if you know it."

He grinned and sat beside her, head on her stomach to tell her while the kids kicked him.

Oliver grinned at his coaches as they joined them. "The twins are hunting their son.  He was crawling for the pitch with a wicked giggle."  He hefted Joxer to his shoulder.  "They've offered me the apartment above their shop.  Totally safe and mined with pranks."

"Fine," the head coach agreed.  "We'll still keep someone dealing with the press for you.  Where is Potter?  We wanted to talk to him about that."

"Telling Tipsy about the dragon," Bear said, looking stunned.  "You have problems with the press?"

"All the time," Oliver sighed.  "Harry and I are both mobbed whenever we go out.  Plus, Harry's got this thing about being honest and saying what he's thinking.  That's why the press had the twins being pregnant instead of their wife."  He led him back inside.  "Potter, coaches."

"Hey," Harry said with a happy grin.  "I'm being kicked."

"Good for you, kid.  Just one thing?  Can you quit talking to the press?"

"I usually don't mind them unless they mob me.  Now that they know I'm shy, I run and hide whenever they appear, and they only take pictures from afar I'm pretty okay with them."

"Yeah, but your mouth can get you into so much trouble," Tipsy told him, stroking through his hair for him.  "No more speaking before thinking, okay?"  He gave her a 'sorry' look with puppy eyes.  "I know, it was early and you weren't thinking," she soothed.  "Think next time."

"Sorry, Tipsy."  He gave her a hug.  "I'll be more careful."

"It's not a problem, Harry.  We dealt with it.  Even those women who got really upset that men were trying to do that instead of them.  Though, the Hufflepuff who came up with the formula was really pretty neat."  She grinned at him.  "You're a good boy most of the time, Harry Potter.  Keep it that way."  She patted him on the head.  "Go back to telling them stories.  It'll make them smarter."

"Sure.  Where was I?"

"The gross breakfast."

"Oh, yeah.  I don't know what that meat was, but it wasn't pig.  Not even Ron could eat it and that's saying something."

The coaches shared a look and backed off.  Harry was Harry and he would learn, but his family would stick by him.  That meant they didn't have to protect him so much.

Fred came in with their giggling son, handing him to Oliver.  "Try to keep hold of him while George finds the baby leash," he said.  "We found him halfway to the far goals."  Oliver looked impressed.

"He's fast," George wheezed.  "If the next two are this fast, we may need to start running again."  He flopped down into a chair with a sigh, looking around.  "Joxer?"  Oliver pointed at where she was hugging Bear. "Oh, good," he sighed in relief.  "She's faster."

Fred sat down next to Harry.  "Unfortunately true, and they're not walking yet."  He nudged Harry with his foot.  "Having fun?"

"Hell yes," he said with a grin.  "Since I can't stand kids for more than a few hours, I'm spoiling yours.  I'm sure your mother will appreciate it."

The twins shared a look, then shook their heads.  "Mum thinks they're already spoiled," Fred assured him.

"She complains about how spoiled they are, even though they never seem to want anything," George added.

"There are three of you to spoil the two of them with attention," Oliver pointed out.  "I'm sure she would have loved to have someone to share all the daily chores with while your dad was at work."

"Probably," George agreed with a grin.

"Mum thinks they're spoiled little brats in the making though," Fred complained.

"Wait until they become two," Harry advised.  "I've heard there's a reason they're called the terrible twos."

The twins looked horrified.  "And we've got..."

"Another set coming?"

Oliver burst out in giggles.  "You're Weasleys, they'll be fine," he promised.  He grinned at the coach.  "When's a good day to move?"

"Next weekend," Tipsy told him. "That way we can have it cleaned and update the pranks.  Plus, the alley will empty for a few days since the kids will be gone."

"That's a great thing," Oliver agreed happily.

The coaches shook their heads, but left them alone.  They'd all get up for practice in the morning, even if they were tired and cranky.  The Defensive coach heard a quiet slapping noise and picked up the baby, bringing it back with an odd look for Oliver. Then he escaped before the baby could follow him again.

"You two are just so adorable," Oliver cooed.  "You can even make the coaches not complain."  Harry laughed.  "They were coming in for bed check."

"They can complain in the morning," Harry reminded him.

Tipsy looked around. "Where's everyone else?"

"Harry's scared them into the other dorms," Oliver said smugly.  "Someone tried to break her boyfriend in so he beat him up like he was an intruder."

"I didn't know he wasn't," Harry defended.

"True, which is all that kept you from being arrested," Oliver reminded him.

Bear let out a long laugh.  "I will like playing with you two.  You liven the game up."

"Hey, no one would *dare* attack our games," Harry said dryly.  "Those quidditch hooligans wouldn't dare show their bums here."

"Too true," Oliver snorted. "They're scared of you too, Harry.  Good job!"

Harry stuck his tongue out at him.  "See if I don't wake you up again tonight."

"You do anyway," Oliver assured him lightly.  "But I'm used to it.  I shared a room with five other guys for way too long not to be used to it."  He cuddled the baby in his lap, making her giggle happily.  "You're something I want of my own some day.  Will you play and tease my kids?"

"Hell yes," George assured him.

"Otherwise we'd have to pout, Oliver," Fred pointed out.

"We'll even lend you the Big Book of Dark Pranks to read to your girl when she delivers," Tipsy assured him.  "Helped me tons."

Oliver and Harry both burst out into giggles.  "I doubt you needed the help, Tipsy," Harry taunted.

"Nope, but I did get some great ideas."  She beamed at her husbands, who blushed and nodded.  "See?  I'm wonderful."

"Absolutely," the twins agreed in unison.

"You poor sods," Oliver said with a head shake, but he was grinning.  "Being the love slaves of a prankster worse than yourselves."

"But we enjoy it so much, Ollie," Fred assured him.  George nodded, beaming wickedly.

Joxer let out her wicked chuckle, cracking everyone up.  "Yup, she's a Ramvette-Weasley," Harry assured everyone.

***

"How does this sound?" Fred asked his wife.  "Oliver Wood, extraordinary former Captain of Gryffindor's Winning House Team, is inviting his former teammates, their significant others, and any children to his apartment warming party.  He will be hiding above Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes for his own protection from certain fan-types and seeks the company of sane friends to keep him happy and calm.  Next Saturday at two in the afternoon.  Snacks will be served from a catered establishment so Forge and Gred can't cook.  Bring music if you want some."

"Sounds good," she agreed with a grin for him.  "A bit over the top."

"We're signing them," Fred assured her.  He handed them to George when he came in, he was addressing them once Fred worked out the wording.

George read it then wrote his own note at the bottom. "Please bring your children so ours can have someone to taint...er, play with," he added with a grin.

"I'm sure the kids will love having other kids to play with," Tipsy agreed cheerfully.  "Are we inviting Ron and Dawn?"

"She'll be back at school by then," George reminded her, sitting down to address each one and the envelopes.  He put self-updating charms on the envelopes in case any of them had moved from their parents' homes.  That way no one could claim they couldn't be found.  "We could invite Ron but I'm not sure if we should."

Tipsy yawned and touched her arm, calling Alex.  He sent back a subtle laugh and a response. "They'll be out of the country.  They're being sent to check some of the lesser storehouses, starting with Tibet.  That means a month on donkey back somewhere that already has snow."  The twins cackled, it served Ron right.

***

Dawn looked at the train.  "Are you sure it's a great idea?" she asked.

"It's the only way," Alex reminded her.  "Hagrid's not back yet and won't be until tomorrow.  You'll get your own compartment, and only those you trust can come in.  Do not let the Hufflepuffs spoil him either," he warned.  She rolled her eyes.  "Okay.  Let's get you on."  He nodded at the conductors bustling around.  "There was a special compartment for Dawn Dumass?"

"This way," one said, taking the cart for her.  He opened the door. "First on this side, ma'am.  Is that it?"  The dragon poked its head up out of her shirt, making him smile. "Ooh, it's a pretty thing.  Steamer?"  She nodded, grinning at him.  "I'm sure Hagrid will do it really well.  Have a good trip, ma'am.  No dog?"  Midnight barked from her bag.  "Ah.  In you go."  He helped her in there then looked at Alex.  "Back again?"

"Protecting her for Ron," Alex said grimly.  "Be good this year, Dawn, I'll be up as soon as I can to visit!"  He hurried away before he got stuck on that side of the platform.

Dawn smirked from the window and settled in, letting the dragon out of her shirt.  She laid down the newspapers and the hay she had packed in the extra bag, then set out half of the meat she had brought in the cold bag.  "There you go.  You lay down and rest for now."  The dragon curled up in the hay, nibbling on some of the meat as he got comfortable.  He settled in with a sigh and she piled the hay around his back, like he liked.  She nearly jumped when someone knocked on the door. "Occupied!"

Luna walked in and shut the door.  "I knew that, that's why I knocked."  She sat down across from her, grinning at the baby dragon.  "Hey, you.  Are you comfy?" she cooed, reaching down to scratch it on the head.  The dragon purred for her.  "You're so good.  Yes, you are.  I'm sure you'll cause the school a lot of chaos for a while."  She grinned at Dawn.  "Ginny'll join us in a few minutes."

"Sure," Dawn said happily.  "She knows how to deal with animals.  I have no idea what we're doing about him tonight since Hagrid won't be back until tomorrow night."

"I'm sure we'll be protecting him from Professor Snape for a bit," Luna said dryly.  The door opened and Ginny slid in quickly before closing it.  "Used to the twins?"

"Hell yes," she snorted as she sat down, waving at the dragon.  "Hello, dear one.  Having fun?"  He belched and ate another piece of meat, giving her a smug look.  "Yes, your human pets are very good to you.  You'll adore Hagrid I'm sure."  She looked at her girlfriends.  "Do either of you realize this will be our first year without danger at school?"

"It had occurred to me last night," Luna admitted.  "I must say that I'm incredibly happy about that thought.  Harry and Ron always manage to find trouble."  Someone knocked on the door.  "We're occupied, thank you."

A conductor stuck his head in.  "I know, just checking on her.  The trolley witch has some more meat if you run out, young miss.  Is he all right?"

"Just fine.  He's settled and content," Dawn assured him with a grin.  "He's nested at the moment."  She looked down but the dragon wasn't in the nest.  "Crap.  Did he run out?"  She cast a tracking charm, tracking the dragon up the train.  It had managed to cross three cars before she finally caught up to it in Slytherin territory.  "Hi," she said, smiling at the guys staring at her in shock.  She held up the dragon.  "It's a friend."  She strolled away, unconcerned about them or their opinions.

"That's it, I'm telling my parents," one first year boy pouted.  "I can't have a dragon, they said so.  If I can't, she can't."

One of the new seventh year girls looked at him then shook her head.  "You don't mess with that one.  That's Malfoy's adopted little sister.  She's a Dumass.  That's Dawn."  The boy gaped and she nodded sagely.  "She defends Hufflepuff and helped in the last battle until that lunatic Alex caught her and sent her away.  We don't bother her."

"Fine," he pouted.  "I'm still going to point out that she has a dragon as a familiar."

"He's not a pet or a familiar, we're bringing him to Hagrid," Luna said as she walked up to them.  "Did he shed?  He's missing a tail scale."  Someone found it and held it up. "Good, keep that for your Head of House. I'm sure he'll want it."  She left, they would ensure Snape got it so she didn't have to worry.

"That's Luna Lovegood, a seventh year Ravenclaw," the seventh year girl told the first year. "She summons demons and plays with hellhounds.  That trio, Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood, and Dawn Summers-Dumass are not to be touched, ever.  They're deadly, they're protected, and if Dawn and Luna can't do it, Weasley's got tons of big brothers, two of which are curse breakers and the Dumass clan will stick up for Dawn in the entirety.  Even Snape will stick up for her, even though she's a third year Hufflepuff."  The young boy gaped at her and she shrugged, but she was grimacing.  "Her family has some sort of hold on him.  He's got to stick up for her.  We do not touch the three of them.  Ginny deals with unicorns.  Luna with demons, and Dawn's a future cursebreaker.  Got it?"  The boy nodded. "Good.  This is probably the only warning you'll receive."

"Has anyone thought about the fact that we won't be woken up this year by Malfoy- Dumass and his consort?" one of the seventh year boys asked.  They all snickered, it would be good to sleep in this year.

***

Dawn stepped off the train with her school bag holding her puppy and the dragon back down her shirt.  She found the Headmaster and McGonagall waiting on them.  "Hi.  I've got him."

"I'd hope that was the bulge in your shirt and not a future Weasley," McGonagall assured her.  "May I?"  Dawn patted the lump and the red snout popped out.  "He's adorable," she noted.  "A steamer?"

"He doesn't do it much, but he will steam when he's startled," Dawn said, pulling the dragon out to hand it over to her.  "Here you are, Professor.  Little guy, that's Professor McGonagall and the Headmaster.  They're very good dragon-sitters."  The dragon cried pitifully and she sighed.  "He's been with me all day," she pointed out, patting him on the head.  "It's all right.  Is Fawkes around?"

"Phoenixes and dragons are enemies," Dumbledore said gently.  He let the dragon sniff him then scratched him on the head. "Relax, little one, we will protect you quite well until your pet human gets here."  The dragon steamed at him, making him chuckle, even though he had to wave his fingers around to cool them.  "You're very good."

Dawn took him back, putting him back in her shirt.  He curled up against her stomach again.  "I can watch him tonight and then I'll spend most of tomorrow with Hagrid as soon as he comes back.  He'll treat the dragon like I do."

"That probably would be best," Ginny agreed.  "Dragons can gather in clan groups sometimes according to Charlie, and this one's little enough to want parents.  Apparently he picked Ron to get to Dawn, who'll share him with Hagrid.  They pet and give him the most praise at the moment."  She looked over as Professor Snape walked up to them.  "Sir," she said respectfully.

"Sir," Luna said as she joined them. "One of yours has a scale that he shed earlier."

"Thank you, Miss Lovegood," he said stiffly.  "It's here?"  Dawn let him see the dragon, and it struggled until it got back in her shirt.  "I would not harm you," he assured it.  The dragon's nose came back out.  "I would not harm you.  I only take my ingredients from things long dead."  He let the dragon sniff him then it snuffled until Dawn handed it over for him to pet.  "Very well, you may stay with me tonight," he offered. "That way you're not tainted by ten thousand Hufflepuffs coming to pet you all hours of the night."

"They haven't yet," Dawn pointed out with a grin.  "Only one peeked in earlier."  She scratched the soft scales. "You be good for him, little guy.  I'll be down to see you tomorrow morning."  The dragon 'eep'ed and hiccuped.  "Ooh, poor thing.  Want some water?"  She handed over a bottle of water for it.  "He can drink out of the top," she assured him. "He did earlier.  He's also had the better part of a beef loin," she said, handing over the cold pack.  "I've got some hay for him too.  He likes to have his back covered once he's lying down and he can't quite figure out how to do that on his own."  She walked the professor off, chatting with him and giving care instructions.  "He likes to be read to as well.  He likes the sound of human voices.  Especially deep ones.  He loved Xander's voice when he read to Midnight last night."  Midnight woke up and poked his head out of the bag.  "Awake again?" she teased, stroking him gently.  "Professor Snape's going to watch the baby for us."  Midnight sniffed him then relaxed again, panting happily.  His tail was moving the side of the bottomless bag.  "Good boy, Midnight.  Yes, you are such a good boy," she cooed, scratching his ears.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Must you do that around me, Miss Summers?"

"Yes!" she snorted, hitting him on the arm. "Grumpy prat.  I'll tell Ron to prank you again," she said smugly.  He gave her a long look so she smirked harder.  "He will you know."

"I realize that.  I'm hoping I don't have to see him this whole year," he said as they loaded themselves into a carriage to go up to the school.  "I will allow you to set up a nest for him in my office."

"He'll need constant attention," she warned.  "He won't go sleep in a corner, he'll try to snuggle up to your throat.  He did to us last night."

"He is a dragon and will soon be too big for that," he reminded her.

"Yeah, but he's still just a hatchling and they curl up with the mommy, or in the hay if the mommy's nearby.  Unless you sleep in your office?"

"No, I do not," he said dryly. "I do keep regular rooms in the school."

"I figured you did, but there are some really strange rumors about you not sleeping and brewing things that would make the old order blush and piss themselves."  The carriage stopped and they got out.  She let him lead the way into the castle, smiling at the people who were giving her pitying looks "It's a new creature for Hagrid.  We're babysitting," she told them.

"Oh my God, it's a dragon!" a young Hufflepuff girl said in direct imitation of Dawn's style.

"It is," Snape agreed cooly. "Back away before you scare him and he singes you badly.  Dragons are not like your familiars and are not to be treated like it," he reminded them as he walked.  The trusting little body in his arms was making him have funny feelings, that was his excuse for not taking house points off them for assaulting his eardrums.  He led the way into his apartment, letting her set out the nest.  "Should I take him with me to dinner?"

"You could if you wanted.  He'll sit in laps.  He sat in Luna and Ginny's part of the trip up."  She finished with the nest, casting a small spell to hold some of the hay up until the dragon could curl up in it.  "There, perfect.  He's newspaper trained so far so you might want to set some of that up as well, sir.  Shall we?"

"We should," he agreed, taking the dragon with him. It had locked its claws in his shirt so he had to.  This one was too fragile yet.  He walked into the Great Hall and everyone quieted.  "It is a new creature for Professor Hagrid," he announced.

"Yes, it is," Dumbledore said lightly, smiling at them.  "All settled in?"  He looked at the dragon as it was brought up.  "It refused to relinquish you?"  Snape nodded curtly.  "Very well then."  He smiled at the first years who had just been led in.  "As part of my yearly announcements it is my pleasure to inform you that Care of Magical Creatures has acquired a new creature to study over the long term.  It is due to the persistence of a few people that we were gifted with this honor, and we owe them much for giving us a baby dragon."  Snape snorted, knowing he meant they owed Alex a good asskicking for this.  "As such, this baby is a steamer, it is to be treated respectfully at all times.  It is still a dragon."  He looked at each of the tables.  "Anyone who hurts this creature faces a stiff legal fine and six months in Azkabahn on order of the Ministry for Magic."  Most of the students winced. "It is not a potions experiment, it is not a source of ingredients, nor is it a playmate for you and your familiars."  Dawn snorted at that.  "Even yours."

"He'll naturally seek me out," she reminded him.  "Besides, Midnight and he don't really get along.  Midnight didn't think he was fun."  She went back to her seat, smiling at her tablemates.  "It's a cute little thing but Hagrid will get to name him.  He adopted Ron in a muggle marketplace."

The whole table 'oooh'ed, sensing a new story of Harry and Ron naughtiness.  They lived for those moments of light and fun.

Snape shook his head in disgust.  Those boys would give him gray hairs if he had to keep associating with them.  It was bad enough when they were students; now they were adults who caused havoc and carnage.

***

Professor Snape looked at the Ravenclaw table the first morning of classes and grimaced.  "Miss Lovegood, what is that in your lap?" he demanded, getting up to walk down there.

"It's a puppy, sir.  His mother gave him to me."

"Unless I'm mistaken, that is not a normal dog and demonic entities are not allowed in this school."  He glared at her once he reached her.  "That beast should not be in here.  It is dangerous."

"He's not!" she protested with a pout.  "He's not even fully weaned yet.  Doesn't eat a bit of a soul yet, Professor.  Please?  He's so adorable," she said, holding him up so the odd head could be seen next to her pouting one.  "Please?"

"No."  He pointed at a window.  "Demonic entities are not to be in this school.  Take him out and leave him out of it.  He can live in the forest."

"You're just a mean, grumpy prat who needs laid," she said, sticking her tongue out at him.  "My poor baby doesn't even react to holy water yet, so there!"  She curled up around her dog, glaring at him.  "If you don't believe me, I'm sure my lover can come tell you about their kind.  Wesley does seem to know quite a lot."

"Another being that should not be in this school," he said darkly.  "One which we will have to make sure stays out."

"Oh, chill already," Dawn sighed from her usual seat.  "The dog doesn't react to holy water.  He's still drinking milk.  We should be really thankful that she broke him of trying to nurse off humans."  Snape gave her a dirty look. "Yes, sir, I'm still here to plague you," she said lightly, grinning at him.  "He's still innocent and he's not demonic until he takes his first soul.  Right now, he's really happy with the milk.  Let the poor guy stay.  Please?   Midnight would like a buddy besides Fang.  Fang's so much bigger and he's afraid of hurting him."

"No."

"Fine.  Then I'll have to ask the Headmaster," Luna said as she stood up.  "Come, let's go see him right now.  I want this over with so you can go pout and sulk in your gloomy and slimy cavern of misery downstairs."  She stomped off, taking her bag and her dog with her.  They ran into the Headmaster in the hallway and she stopped him, holding up her dog.  "Isn't he allowed?  He doesn't eat souls yet and he's not reacting to holy water, sir."  She pouted at him.  "Please?  I'm taking very good care of him for his mam.  She's even helped me break his nasty habit of trying to nurse off me."

The Headmaster looked at her. "The rules state that you should not have a demonic entity in this school, Miss Lovegood.  Even if it is still innocent, it is still demonic."  She scowled and he sighed. "It is not allowed.  Even if you will it to be so, you cannot keep him here.  He could hurt the other students when he manifested."

"The same as your demonic consort is not allowed in here," Snape added for good measure.  "Do not try to hide him either, we will find him."

"But if I don't help him then his mum'll make sure none of the other puppies will come help me when I need it.  It's a mark of friendship," she tried.  "He really is sweet and he doesn't go on the floors.  Please, Headmaster?" she pleaded, doing her best to look cute and innocent.  "I'm a seventh year.  We're allowed to change familiars in our sixth year to something that suits us and my baby here does," she reasoned.  "Besides, if you don't, his mother might get mad at all of us.  I'd hate for you to be eaten like that.  The other way if you wanted and could find someone who'd like you that way would probably be nice and all, but having her eat you would be really nasty and painful from what I've heard from Wesley and the hounds themselves."

"Can you honestly swear that beast won't hurt anyone in this castle?" the Headmaster asked gently.

"Other than Mrs. Norris?" she asked hesitantly.  "I know how to tell when he's getting ready to go for his first kill, sir.  He's nowhere near that stage yet and shouldn't be that way for about six to ten months.  When he does, of course I'll give him back to his mother but he's just a helpless little one right now and she's helping the curse breakers at Stonehenge."  He shuddered.  "Exactly, and that's no place for a little guy like him," she pointed out, stroking the scaly head.  "He's such a good boy to be eaten by those nasty artifacts.  Even Mr. Dumass said it was probably going to be all right for the whole school year and he knows a lot more about demons than even Ethan does."  She tried her most powerful power, according to Ethan and Wesley, the puppy eyes.  "Please, Headmaster?  I'll let you check him each and every day if you want to, just to make sure he's not getting more mature."  She moved him away from her breast, making him growl. "Do you mind? You can't try that in front of them, they might want to help," she said, scowling at him.  "Learn something about timing, Perseus."

Snape moaned and shook his head. "Headmaster, surely...."

"He is adorable and still very young, Severus.  Besides, it would give you greater insight into the workings of demonic magic."  He gave him a look.  "Plus, you have in your store of books a potion to make sure he does not mature within the school's walls.  Yes?"  Snape growled but nodded.  "Then if you would make it for him a compromise could be reached.  Of course she would not be allowed to bring him down near *your* students," he said gently, smiling a bit.  "He would be a good influence I believe.  Give her something to care about that wasn't too old."

Snape rolled his eyes.  "Fine," he spat.  He glared at Lovegood.  "I will see that beast after hours each and every week.  I will make that potion for him.  Your consort will not show up however, or else I will have Mr. Dumass slay him."  She nodded quickly. "Thank you.  Dismissed."  She turned and ran off.  He glared at the Headmaster.  "Albus...."

"Severus, he is harmless. I did look at him and he is not near weaned yet.  His mother obviously gave him over so she could nourish him.  Perhaps it will make her want to become the true consort of her *human* mate, the one who could give her things to love and protect other than her pets."

Snape snorted.  "I doubt Wesley is ready for children, Albus."

"Be that as it may, women have known how to get around men's objections in that regard for years now.  If this works, then we should see her pregnant by spring break, and then she'll be safely contained and the powers passed onto her child," he said gently.  He suddenly smirked.  "Or else he'll take her away, back to LA probably, to help over there again."

"If you say so.  I will be keeping an eye on that dog."  He stomped off, going down to his classroom.  One of the elves had refilled his plate and put it on his desk.  "Thank you," he snapped.  There was a giggle and he glared at the doorway to his office.  "Who are you and what do you want?"

Dawn came out with her dog. "I chased Midnight down here, sir.  He was just licking me to get the syrup I dripped."  She smiled at him.  "Are you sure you're going to be able to make do without Mr. Malfoy around, sir?  I know you leaned on him for comic relief most of the time, and as a fellow potions person."

"I'm sure I can find others who can be comic relief," he said dryly.  "Your class would make a fine example actually.  Since not a one of you manage to get things correct."

She shrugged.  "So sue us, we're not going to be potions masters.  Let's face it, a Hufflepuff potions master might make the world shudder in revulsion and wonder why we didn't cuddle them to make them normal."  He groaned, but his mood was lifted.  "Then again, what we're concerned about is contraception, cosmetics, potions to help with the cramps and the bad skin.  You can teach us all those and we'll listen and do everything correctly each and every time.  The other stuff?"  She went 'pfft'.  "Who cares?  It's not part of our worldview to make things light and feathery unless it's a shopping bag and they can't take potions.  Your potions can't take off the extra five pounds all of us females are *convinced* we have on our hips or tummies.  You can't make our noses smaller or our breasts larger.  Why would we care?"

He smirked at her.  He had learned to appreciate her outlook on life, as long as she didn't get too cheerful around him.  Anyone who had survived a warzone like her life had been so far had to understand him a bit better than average.  That's why he liked Holly as well and Dawn did remind him of his ...friend.  "How eloquent, even though you did say the word 'tummy' in there."  He shook his head.  "I'll take that under advisement, but the processes are much the same for everyone.  Even if it does not interest you it is leading you to a pattern of thinking logically."

"Yeah, well, I'm betting physics would too but again, not something that's going to really concern us too much or keep us up at night.  Now, some of the Ravenclaws might be like that.  Granger was.  Then again, some of the Gryffs join in with us and we can't tell the difference in the dark."  He blinked a few times, then his mouth opened.  "No, not me," she said, grimacing at him. "I have my Ron snuggly.  Like I said.  Teach us skincare stuff.  We *all* need that.  Teach us something to whittle away that last five pounds or to make our chests or dicks bigger.  You're teaching teenagers, Uncle Severus.  Consider your audience sometimes.  At least give us something interesting once a month that uses all the other stuff we *have* to learn."

He nodded once.  "I shall think on that, but not too hard.  Now get your walking bundle of contamination out of my dungeons."

"Yes, sir.  We love you too.  Don't we, Midnight.  We love the Unclie.  Bark for him?"  Midnight barked and wagged his tail.  "Good boy."  She nuzzled the back of his head.  "Come on.  We've got that nice Professor Flitwick next.  Yes, we do," she cooed, walking him out.

He shook his head but he did consider the idea.  He might have whole classes of students who listened and worked diligently, even once a month.  If he laid out some of the more common and baser potions that required the skills he was already working into each year it would be for the best.  Besides, did he really want to teach a Lovegood in eleven or twelve years?  Or the spawn of Weasley and Dawn?  He nearly shuddered at that thought.  The very thought of such a child was more than enough to remind him why he hadn't taken a wife and procreated the next generation yet.  "A true bane to the world," he said in disgust, sitting down to look over his lessons.  It would be...interesting to have students who listened in class.  Even if he did have to humor Dawn once or twice.

One of Those Days.

Dawn looked up as the mail came in, smirking at owl that looked exactly like her big brother's.  "Oh, you're so good," she cooed, scratching the owl gently on the head.  "What did they send me this time?"  She smiled down at Midnight, who quit pouting at her.  "No, the owl isn't taking your place, Middy.  Like Pig's not."  She scratched him behind the ear, then opened her new package.  On the top was a small box and underneath was some tissue paper.  She carefully unfolded the tissue paper, pulling out the thin black gown to give it a look.  "Hey, Luna?" she called.  Luna looked over, giving the dress an odd look.  She waved her over, putting the gown back into the box, then took out the smaller box to unwrap it.  "Oh, wow," she said in awe.  "It's obsidian," she said happily.  She pulled out the pieces to look over, noticing how they had to fit together and that it was a full collar.  "Wow."

"Very wow," Luna agreed, looking over the gown again.  "You'll look like Ron's sex slave in this, Dawnie."

Dawn pinched her.  "Naugyt perv," she teased.  She picked up everything and took Luna to the nearest bathroom to try it on.  She came out adjusting the built-in cups on either side of her cleavage.  They held her up nicely and the black fabric was just thick enough to not show her skin, but thin enough to hint a lot at everything she had.  She turned to look at her butt and grimaced.  "Well?"

"I think you look charming," Luna sighed.  "I could never wear that."  She handed over the necklace.  "Here, try it on with it."

"Over the neckline?"

"Um, no," she said, taking the lining off her throat and back down where it was supposed to be.  It gave some extra thickness to the bosom part.  Now it had a scooped neckline that was about three inches this side of pornographic.  She helped Dawn into the collar, smiling at the picture she made.  "Wow."

Dawn shifted her neck a little.  "It's kinda tight."  She fiddled with the closure and it snapped, then suddenly loosened.  She felt a burst of power go through her and let out a squeal that carried down the halls.

At the head table in the Great Hall, McGonagall's head popped up at that noise.  "I wonder what's happened now," she muttered, getting up.

"I believe that was Miss Summers," Madam Sprout offered.  "It sounded like her squeal."

"Yes, but that wasn't pleasure."  The teachers headed out together to see whatever could be wrong this time.  They found Luna looking at the collar around the girl's neck.  "That's not exactly appropriate for the school day, Miss Summers," McGonagall said dryly.

"It got sent with the collar.  The collar just sent a flush of power through her and I can't get it undone," Luna told her quickly.  "The dress came with it."

"Ron had the collar, he found it," Dawn said lightly, looking at her teachers.  "I'm in deep shit.  I can feel the curse on it."

"Down to Professor's Snape's classroom," Madam Sprout ordered, gathering up her things to put into her bag.  "Midnight, go with her to guard her."  Dawn's dog barked and headed down with her.  "Thank you, Minerva.  Perhaps you should call Mr. Weasley so we can kill him?" she asked lightly as she went to tell the professor she had volunteered.  "Severus?" she called from the doorway, waving him out.  He grimaced and she stamped a foot, scowling at him.  It was so uncharacteristic that he had to join her in the hallway.  "Whatever it was that Mr. Weasley sent her this time didn't have all the curses removed from it," she said quietly.  "She can't get the collar off and the dress is making her glow.  Miss Lovegood said that a burst of power went through her.  I had her put into your classroom and Minerva has called Mr. Weasley."

"Why my classroom?  I don't have shields on it."

"Bull," she snorted.  "You have a lot of them in there, I know you do.  Besides, even if everything exploded, it'll cause less hell than if it was done in the Headmaster's office or around Minerva's animals."

"I'll get Flitwick," he noted, going to get him.  He walked up to the table, giving Flitwick a long look.  "You're needed in my classroom, Finius."

"Why?" he asked, smirking at him.  "Problems with the door charms?  Did Alex get you from afar this time?"

"No, Miss Summers seems to have put on a cursed obsidian collar."  Professor Flitwick hopped down and scurried under the table, following him down to his classroom.  "I had hoped that Alex would teach Mr. Weasley some sense."

"It's possible that he couldn't find one," he moaned.  "Or that it's not the one he wanted to send her."  He opened the door and moaned.  "No, that wasn't in Sunnydale," he said bitterly.  "That was at the Ministry up until last week.  It was stolen.  It was in the paper," he said, looking up at his fellow professor.  "Help me up there, Severus.  I need to get closer."  He was helped up onto the table and pulled Dawn over to look at the collar.  "Yes, see, this one has no tracings.  The one Mr. Weasley found had silver around the opening."  He cast a 'reveal' charm, watching as the lettering came up.

"Wow, like the Rings books," Luna gasped. "Is that Elvish?"

"Goblin actually.  It was a mad sorcerer I'm afraid," Professor Flitwick offered as he read.  "I can't make total sense of this.  There's conditions that apply."

Ron walked in with a yawn, looking at his girlfriend.  "Well, it's a pretty dress, but I haven't sent your collar yet, Dawn.  Where did that one come from? Yours hasn't been spelled cleared yet."  He came over to look at it, then grimaced.  "Well, fuck," he decided.  Snape growled.  He smirked at him.  "No, I'm not in school now," he said meanly.  He went back to looking at the collar.  "It's in Goblin."

"I noticed that," Flitwick offered.  Ron sighed and touched his arm, bringing Alex running.  He had been drinking his coffee.  "Good, Mr. Dumass.  Read this for us."

Xander read the collar, then blushed and cleared his throat.  "As a token of my love and affection I have given this to you, my beloved Esme.  Wear this in good health and should you not be mine, it will always remind you of me and my passions for you.  If you should desire to take it off you must be faithful and true to me, you must love me for at least a fortnight, and you must," he said as he moved to the backside, "um, bear me an heir.  Love always, Heirram McGalin."  He grimaced.  "Wasn't he the mad guy who always cursed the women he loved?" he asked Professor Flitwick, who nodded.  "Damn it.  Ron!"

"It's not mine.  Mine's sitting on your desk so you can double-check it for me," Ron said.  Dawn's body jerked and she gasped, grabbing his arms.  "Can we break this thing off her neck?"

Xander shrugged and wiggled the closure but it zapped him and he ended up sucking on the end of his fingertips.  "Nope."

Ron gave him a look, then grimaced.  "Have you not had *any* coffee yet, Alex?"  Xander paused for a moment then shook his head with a grin.  "Damn it.  Concentrate!  No hands are touching my woman but my dirty hands!"

"That's what soap is for," Luna pointed out dryly.  "Women prefer men who use soap quite often, even every day."

"Funny," Ron growled, glaring at her.  "Not."  He paused to look at the puppy in her arms.  "Why is it nursing off you?"

"Because it's a hellhound," Xander said with a shrug.  He finally got the feeling back in his fingers so he bent to look at the closure again.  The gong rang and he sighed. "Severus, class?"

"First years," he complained.  Dawn squealed and grabbed Ron again as another surge went through her.  "I see I'll be missing them today."

"Is there a current heir?" Luna asked.  "Maybe they can remove it."

"Who do you think stole it?" Flitwick asked dryly.

"Fine, I'm trying to help," she complained.

"No, it's an idea," Xander noted.  "I can go threaten him, that's not an issue."

"If anyone gets to threaten him, it'll be me," Ron said firmly. "She's my girl."

"Guys, not getting this off my neck by arguing!" Dawn shouted.  "Get it the fuck off my neck!"

"Miss Summers," Snape snapped coldly.  "You still in school. I can and should take points off you for such language."

"Try," she said bitterly.  "It's not like this collar isn't sending shocks down my spine to my ...womanly spots," she finished delicately.

"Hell, I'll kill him for that," Ron muttered, glaring at the collar.  He ran a hand along the letters, tracing the magic he could feel.  "Permission to take her out for the day?"

"Would rest with the headmaster," Professor Flitwick reminded him.

"Headmaster!" Ron shouted.  "She's been cursed!"  He walked in a few minutes later, looking quite calm and smug.  "It's not the one I sent her and it's cursed."  Dawn clenched his hands with a moan.  "I want this thing the hell off her before I rip the person who made it apart at the atomic level."

Dumbledore blinked a few times.  That was quite a strong statement from Ron, and he didn't seem like his usual angry self.  "Very well.  What does it do?"

"It's the obsidian collar that had been stolen from the Ministry," Professor Flitwick said worriedly.  "I can't break it and they're up much too early to do anything yet."

"Not true," Xander noted calmly.  "There is a charm on it.  I can see the charm but it's like it's backwards."  He pointed at the area.  "Cast a reveal there."  The tiny professor did so and they stared at it together.  "Isn't that a mobius?"  He nodded.  "Then we can break it, it'll just take some delicacy of action, which I'm not up to without at least some tea."  He stood up and looked at Ron.  "It can be broken, but it'll take some study."

"The longer she stays in it the more accustomed she comes to the surges," Flitwick told him.  "It may never be regular for her again."

"Bet me, I can cure that too," Ron said smugly.   Dawn swatted at him.  "Sorry, love."  He kissed her gently and she gasped, grabbing her throat.  "I'm guessing that's part of it?"  He backed away until the collar quit squeezing her windpipe.  "Sorry, Dawnie."

"Not a problem," she panted.  "Who is this idiot so I can kill him?" she asked calmly.

"I'm not sure, but I know there's an heir," Flitwick told her.

Xander activated the nearest fireplace, using some floo powder he always kept on him to call home. "Aunt Cordy, I need to know who the heir for the McGalin line is.  They sent Dawn a cursed collar that's making her want them and Ron wants to have a talk with him."

Aunt Cordy gave him a long look.  "He's a Bogones.  He's former Minister Fudge's cousin or some such," she told him.  "Is she all right?"

"So far," Dawn noted.  "No more touching, boys."

"I can find a female curse breaker," Xander offered lightly.

"What is a mobius charm and how do you break it?" Luna asked.  "I'm good enough and I already know how to work around Dawn's unique energy matrix."

"It's like a mobius figure.  That twisted figure eight that goes back onto itself," Professor Flitwick told her.   "The charm feeds off itself and powers itself, but when it's activated, it becomes stronger than steel."

Luna moved Alex out of the way and looked at the reveal charm still going, studying the mobius.  "Isn't that the weak point," she asked, pointing at spot just before the twist.  "It looks like the power's a bit thinner there."

"It is," Alex agreed.  "But if you break it and there's another one, we'll need her out of the collar.  The one that chokes her is a separate curse."

"Then can we work backward?" Luna asked.  Ron shook his head.  "No?"

"No.  A mobius covers all the other ones but if it's broken it'll usually snap."

"Then we pull some of the more impressive wandless magic into play," Luna decided.  "Professor Snape, where is Holly?"

"She's been recalled to her father's side for a chat.  She'll be back in a few weeks.  Apparently he's concerned that I'm much older than she is."

"Gee, I thought you were about the same age," Alex said, grimacing.  "Then again, knowing Justinius and his wife, they're being fussy about such things.  Hey, Aunt Cordy, are you still listening?"

"Of course, Alex.  Want me to call them and get Holly free?"

"Please.  Invite her back to look over the dragon."  He looked at Dawn again.  "This sucks," he decided.  "Can I get some very strong coffee?"  The professors looked at him.  "I'll need a clear head.  The last time I broke one of these, I was mightily drunk and I don't remember how I managed not to kill the person."  Snape sent for a house elf, who came back with a pot, three cups, and some of the leftover unicorn cream.  "Thanks, little one," Xander said, smiling down at him.  "You guys are the perfect house elf size.  I saw one recently that was up to Ron's shoulder."  He poured himself some coffee, adding some of his special cream.  The house elf gave him an awed look and he nodded. "Really.  You guys are the perfect house elf size.  You guys and goblins are both so much better than us bigger people because you're so tiny.  We like you to be tiny.  I guess that's why that really big house elf was lonely.  He was playing bodyguard."  He sipped his coffee slowly, staring at the collar.  "This royally sucks," he announced, getting up to deal with this. "Okay, Luna.  Do you know how to cast an extra space charm?"

"Yes, but isn't there a negation?" she asked, pointing at the front of Dawn's neck.  "Casting a reveal here shows another curse."

Xander came around to look, then sighed and nodded.  "It is," he agreed.  "Good work.  Then we'll need a physical blocker.  Something to hold the space open.  Dawn, I'm sorry this is going to be uncomfortable."

"As long as I get to kick the ass of the person who sent me this and made me think it came from Ron," she said firmly.  "A bit of choking among friends is fine."

"Good."  Xander looked at Snape.  "Do you have anything for the extra space?"

"I do," he admitted, going to get something from his shelves.  He came back with it.  "It's thick, stiff, and has null magic woven into it because it's partially made of dragonhide."  Dawn shuddered.  "It was old and spared the mercy of dying in a battle," he assured her.  "I only use ingredients from things that are old and near the end of their lives."  Midnight barked.  "Sit," he ordered, pointing at a corner. The dog seemed to snort at him and laid across his mistress' feet.  "Fine, stay out of the way," he ordered.

"Midnight, move," Dawn said calmly.  "I don't want to hurt you if this thing hurts me."  He moved but didn't seem to like it.  "Thank you, love."  She glanced at Ron.  "Who broke this thing last?"

"Chadlin," Flitwick told her.  "It took him six days and Esme was dead, but he did finally manage it."

"Great," Ron said bitterly.  "The greatest curse breaker ever, and the victim still died?" Ron asked.

"The problem with Chadlin was that he always relied on bold, brash, pure power, not subtlety," Xander assured him calmly and quietly.  "Chadlin's approach to anything was blast it open. He probably killed Esme with a blast instead of the collar doing it and considered it a merciful action.  He was an asshole to women.  He was in his last few years of teaching when I entered my training and we all noticed that.  One of the other teachers had to continuously correct for his 'power first' approach."  He looked up at Ron.  "It won't kill her, I won't let it.  Take the curse on the front.  Can you break it?"

Ron examined it with the special affinities he had, then looked back at him.  "I feel there's a weak link, but I'm not sure which spot it's in.  It's a tangled mess."

Luna looked and pointed.  "Hit at the pink spot.  That's the keystone of the charm.  Is that the choking charm?"  Ron nodded, staring at that spot, unraveling it in his mind.  "What can I do to help?"

"Catch her," Alex said, shooting her a look.  He went back to studying it.  "When I get this one, you get the clasp, Professor."

"Of course, Alex.  After all, I taught you that charm," he said easily.

"Another case of being just the right size for the job," Xander agreed with a grin at the collar.  He pulled his first wand, his main one that was the one which had chosen him first by coming flying off a shelf at him.  Ollivander had been surprised, but not unduly so.  He said it happened all the time to cursebreakers when they chose a secondary wand.  It was the one he used most of the time.  His other one was nice but it was more for charms work than for breaking work. It was a bit more delicate.  He nodded at Ron that he was going to start and shot a small strand of power at the curse's weak spot, slowly eating away at the edges.  It finally snapped and then Ron worked on the choking part, which was trying to activate, getting it undone before it could get through the thick dragonshide.  Professor Flitwick got the clasp on one side while Alex got the other one, and Dawn sagged as the hitching section was taken out.  "There," he said proudly.  "No six days and no dead victim.  Dawnie, you okay?"

"Fine," she said weakly.  Ron pulled her up and kissed her, holding her as tightly as he could.

"Do I need to see this?" Snape asked.

"It's the normal reaction to seeing your loved one in jeopardy," Alex said with a grin.  "That's how you know it's love instead of lust in our lives."  He patted the diminutive professor on the back.  "Thanks, Prof.  Anything else around here we need to worry about?"

"No, there's been no attacking statues, no funny happenings with the locks, and no attacks so far this year," Professor Flitwick said dryly.  "Thank you for that, Alex."

"Not an issue, Prof."  He smacked Ron on the arm.  "Give her up so I can hug her."  Ron let her go slowly so Xander stole her to hug.  "Oooh, I'm so glad we were procrastinating on our trip to Tibet," he whispered.  "I'll let Ron kick his ass."  He pulled back and kissed her on the forehead. "That dress is very cute on you though."

"I like it," Ron agreed.  "That's why I ordered it to go with the collar I found.  Which is not cursed," he assured her.   She swatted at him, making him grin.  "Keep it and wear it this holiday if I can make it back?"

"Fine, Ron.  But no collar.  Spell clean some of the other obsidian stuff."

"Sure."  He gave her another kiss.  "We'd better go before they try to keep us," he said with a wink.  "Then I could be a Hufflepuff too."  She laughed and swatted him again, joined by Luna.

"I believe we'd put you in Slytherin instead," the Headmaster noted.  "Thank you, boys.  Have fun in Tibet."  The boys left and he let out a sigh of relief.  "Thank you, Merlin, for not letting them want to stay," he muttered, leaving the teachers to handle it.  Fortunately it hadn't really been life threatening.  This time.  He would have to institute a check for charmed items coming into the school.

Professor Snape looked at the two younger women.  "Take your dog, go change, and head to your classes," he ordered.

"I'm going to the infirmary first," Dawn told him.  "Just to make sure there's no more curses on me and that collar didn't do funny things when it shot all that power through me."

"Fine.  Do so.  Miss Lovegood may escort you then go to class."  They left with the dog and Professor Flitwick.  He sat down behind his desk, holding his head.  The only bright spot of this morning was that he had managed to avoid a class of first year Gryffindors for one day.

***

Draco called the goblins as soon as Xander had left the house after Ron, giving him a bland look.  "We're running a bit late," he said.  "It appears someone sent Dawn a cursed choker in Ron's name.  They're getting it off her."

"I would expect nothing less from Mr. Dumass.  Is she all right?"

"As far as I know.  It's obsidian.  That's all I got when Ron called him."

"Obsidian?  A collar?"  Draco thought back and then nodded.  "That was stolen.  Where is it now?"

"The school.  I'm sure they've put it safely away."

"One would hope so."  He looked over Draco's shoulder as Aunt Cordy walked in.  "How are things at your house?" he asked politely.

"Busy, as usual," she said with a smile.  "How are you?"

"Fine.  Tell Alex I want a report before he leaves for Tibet.  I will warn your guide that you may be as much as a day late."  His head disappeared.

Draco looked up at her.  "Some cursed obsidian collar."

"The one Ron was working on?"

"No, a different one," he admitted, standing up and dusting off his knees.  "I'll let you do that.  I've still got to finish packing the travel packs.  Are the biscuits done?"

"Just now, Draco.  I wrapped both pans for you boys.  I know how you young men eat."  She patted him on the cheek.  "You watch out for our boys.  Cursebreakers are cursebreakers because they're drawn to trouble."  He snorted, then started to laugh.  "I know, it's a bit late, but that is how they tell these things most of the time.  So you be careful up there.  Some of those mountain paths are quite treacherous."

"I'll do my best to bring him back in one piece and Weasley as well," he agreed, kissing her on the cheek.  "I'll miss decent cooking for this month."  He went to check the travel packs, adding the extra vials of healing potions he had been working on.  He knew they'd need them.  Alex and Ron never did anything major without needing at least something to heal a scratch, a bite mark, or something.  Fortunately Severus had told him where he could find some good travel bottles and had given him a book on field healing procedures.  Since no one else in the family could brew worth a damn, it was up to him.  Not that he minded, it gave him a reason to go along all the time.  He packed the extra bandages he had bought, then backed away, nodding in pleasure.  The packs didn't bulge, they weren't overly stuffed.  He tried to pick them up and winced.  They were heavy however.  He lifted them out one set at a time to the main entryway.  By the time he was done, he was sweaty so he went to take a shower, getting dressed in his leathers before coming back down to sit in the entryway.  He noticed the packs were gone.  "Did they leave already?" he called.

"No, dear.  We moved them to the backyard.  Most of the long-term apparations or portkeys go from there."  She came out and squealed when she saw him.  "You look so adorable in that.  Pack a cloak, remember there's already snow there."  He nodded, grabbing his heaviest velvet and leather cloak from the front closet.  She checked his boots, handing him a set of braces that went over them.  "For the ice," she said at his confused look. "They're ice spikes."

He smiled. "Thanks, Aunt Cordy."  He headed into the backyard to wait with the packs.  It was pathetic, but he was going to make sure Alex would be taking him.  How else was he going to be able to make sure that they came back alive?  Finally, Ron appeared and stomped into the house.  He raised an eyebrow.  He had been in a snit of epic proportions so someone was going to get thrashed.  Alex appeared and he grinned.  "We're ready if you are," he reported.  "The goblins warned them we may be up to a day late due to the collar.   They also want a report."

Xander bounced something in his hand.  "Good.  Ron wants to kill the guy who sent it to her."  He grinned at him. "Do I need to check it for everything?"

"I went by the list in your third book, plus extra bandages, generic thermal shirts, vials of healing potion in travel bottles, and books on field healing.  Plus, Aunt Cordy gave me some ice spikes."

"Good job," Xander agreed, kissing him.  "Food and canteens?"

"Canteens are in the blue pack and the food is spread along the top of the others," he offered.  "You can check if you want."

"No, I trust you and we can always trust our guide to have some things or we can hunt when we run out of food.  Where's your bag?"

"It's underneath the blue one.  I brought the blue dragonhide one you got me."

"Good job.  Extra boots, right?"  Draco nodded.  "Good job, Draco.  It'll be maybe an hour if you wanted to go relax and read."  He headed inside to calm Ron down, wincing when he heard him shouting at someone through the floo.  "Ron, no threatening over the floo, it can be considered a conspiracy," he said calmly.  He looked at Molly on the other side. "She's fine."  He grinned.  "Ron won't really go kill him but I'm sure someone will want to investigate it.  It was stolen from the Ministry's storehouse."  He waved and went to another floo line to call the goblins.  Once his contact appeared he tossed the binding piece of the collar to him.  "The rest is at the school, we left it in Professor Snape's classroom.  We tore the curses apart on it, all of them."

"Good job, Mr. Dumass.  This is?"

"The hitching part.  It locks it into place and starts the curses.  I figured you'd want to keep that separate, just in case."

"Oh, we do," he agreed.  "Do you know who?"

"Professor Flitwick had a few ideas, namely that it was a relative, who is a distant cousin of Fudge.  He sent it with an owl that looked almost exactly like mine according to Dawn and Luna."  He tossed something over. "Luna wrote it out for you."

"I'll be up to personally take control of the collar, Mr. Dumass.  Should I expect a report from you?"

"Sure, I'll write in my journal tonight around the campfire while the boys complain that ground isn't really flat," he said dryly.  "My lover's anxious to be off so I'd best humor him.  Later."  He signed off before they could request the report right then, and make it an order.  He went up to his room to shower and change, coming down in his usual working outfit of jeans, black t-shirt and red overshirt, this time in velvet and long sleeved.  He was carrying his heaviest cloak and an extra one was in his bags in case he needed them.  That shrinking spell was really very handy.  Ron tromped down the stairs.  "Dry your hair.  We're going somewhere that's already cold, Ron."

"Yes, Alex," he said bitterly.  "Are you *sure* I can't kick his ass right now?"

"Why?  He'll still be here, and maybe the Ministry will get him this time.  If not, we'll be back in a month and it'll give him enough time to become paranoid or to think you're not coming for him.  Do I need to check your pack?"

"No, I packed it, but I couldn't fit all the stuff inside," Ron said sheepishly.

"Shrinking spell, Ron.  Go repack."  He nodded, jogging back up the stairs to repack his bag.  Alex walked into the backyard, smiling at Draco's open-mouth shocked look.  "Did you remember the shrinking spell?"

"I did, and I've got half of my wardrobe in there, all the warmer things, two extra pairs of boots, another two cloaks, one of which is my old school one in case we need them for the animals, and the books I might need to brew any additional potions I hadn't thought of.  I also helped Greg rework our field kits and cases.  They're full, they got delivered last night."

"Good.  Any other good news?"

"Not really.  Is Dawn really all right?"

"She's fine.  She got a bit choked at first but then we got that charm gone too."  Ron came back out.  "Extra cloaks, extra boots, all that stuff?"

"Yeah, and I've got my trench on under my cloak," Ron admitted.  "Are we done?"

"We're done," Draco agreed, standing up.  "Aunt Cordy, we're leaving," he called.

"Here, we made you some sandwiches," she said, hurrying out.  "Eat these first, boys, and I made an extra two for your guide."  She kissed them each on the cheek, then Alex on the forehead.  "Come home, dear. Or else I get to spoil Harry rotten."  She backed up as they worked the camp moving spell, waving as they disappeared.  Then she burst out in tears.  "I hate it when they leave," she sobbed, heading inside to let one of the other aunts comfort her.  "I'm always worried they won't come back."

"They always do," the other aunt promised, patting her on the back.  "Why don't you call Alex's father.  He'd want to know, dear."  Cordy nodded and went to call him.  He was doing a bit of traveling at the moment to find the rest of the strewn family.  She had always liked him but her sister had moved first.

***

Xander landed the group on the target, smiling at their guide.  "Hey, Paulo," he said, clasping hands with him. "Aunt Cordy made you two sandwiches this time."

"I always loved your aunts, Alex," he laughed.  He waved a hand.  "No donkeys, only llamas this time, sorry."

"Can we ride them or do we walk?" Draco asked.

"You can't ride them," Xander told him.  "They're pack animals.  Which is good because we brought a ton of stuff.  The tent, Draco?"

"I didn't think there'd be caves each stop," he pointed out.  "Besides, we can use it to block the front of a cave as well to keep the wind out."

"Good point," Paulo agreed.  He took the sandwiches.  "Hey, roast beef."  Ron groaned.  "There's ham and pork chop too," he offered, handing over the bundle.

"I want the ham," Draco and Alex called, grinning at each other.

"That's fine, the pork chop are more sturdy," Ron agreed, handing those over to their rightful owners.  "Are we eating now?"

"Didn't you get breakfast?" Draco asked.

"Yes, but then we went and broke some nasty curses."

"Eat if you're hungry or eat it on the trail, Ron.  It won't matter much," Alex assured him.  "Okay, let's get the beasts loaded up."  He pulled his wand and floated the packs closer to the llamas, letting Paulo help him hitch them on.

"He yours, Alex?" he whispered.

Xander grinned.  "The blond is.  That's my consort."

"Ah."  He smirked at him. "He's pretty."

"He's also smart.  He's a good potions person.  He's trying so hard to fit in."  He tightened a cinch, making the llama let out a groan of protest.  "Oh, quit, it's not that heavy or that tight," he said, patting her on the neck.  "Did everyone remember gloves?"

"Yes, and I put yours in my personal bag, right on top," Draco agreed.  He smirked at him.  "All that time in Sunnydale made you forget what snow was like, Alex."

"Probably," he agreed happily.  "Thankfully I'm not there anymore."  Paulo laughed. "I'm not!"

"No, you're not."  He looked at the boys.  "There are two small villages on the path up," he told them.  "Both muggle."

"That's fine, we won't pull our wands," Draco agreed.

"Won't they stare at us?" Ron asked.

"No, they're to people taking journeys into the mountains.  We won't get much interest but we may be able to buy dinner or breakfast at one of them.  The other doesn't have an inn and is barely sustaining itself most of the time."

"The other problem is that the Chinese Army keeps roaming these mountains trying to wipe out the Tibetans," Alex told them.  "So if you see even a hint of a uniform I need to know.  Got it?"  They both nodded.  "Good.  We can get past them as pilgrims but they won't like us and they'll try to detain us.  That is the only excusable reason for using your wands on them.  No other reasons, Ron."

"No worries.  Only if they do something like fire on us," Ron agreed.

"Do we have a cover story?" Draco asked.

"Yes, I'm a linguistics researcher and I came to look at some cave drawings," Xander told him.  "You're my faithful graduate assistants.  Got it?"  They nodded.  "Good."

"Cave drawings?  They've been studied to death."

"They found a new set according to National Geographic," Alex said with a shrug.  "We're comparing."  He checked the packs one last time, then put their personal packs on top of the others, each one on one.  They had all overpacked in case anything got lost.  "Draco, you did spread the medical stuff out, right?"

"Yes, across all the packs.  They've each got at least my notes on the healing potions, at least six vials of the healing potions, and some of the bandages, ointments, and food."

"Good job," Ron praised.  "We ready?"

"Yeah.  Put on your cloaks.  It'll be colder the farther up we go," Paulo warned.  He put on his own cloak and took a lead rein to lead one set of llamas.  Alex had the other set of reins.  "Why are we doing such an intense check?"

"Geneva, Paris, Stonehenge, and Antarctica all got looted," Xander said bitterly.  "I'm so glad I'm not a Specialist.  They're in a blind panic so we're searching all the storage areas."  He looked ahead of them.  "Already?"

Paulo looked and groaned.  "I know that unit, they are against anyone studying things.  Do you speak any of the Asian languages?"

"I speak a bit of Mandarin," Alex admitted.  They waited while the small troop marched down to where they were, giving them a full half of the path to be polite.  "Hello," he greeted in Mandarin.  "I am on study scholarship in Beijing."  He grinned.  "It is good to see such a strong military presence.  Has there been much snowfall?"

The commander looked at him.  "Who are you?"

"I am Alexnader Gronski.  I am an exchange student at the University in Beijing.  I come to study the pictograms with my fellow students."  He waved at them.  "They are exchange students from Britain."  He bowed again, still smiling.  Better to seem foolish than dangerous.

"I have no papers on you," he said, his eyes narrowing.  "How did you get here?"

Xander pulled out his passport and papers the goblins had forged for them.  "Here you go, kind sir.  I knew that some would ask for them."  The commander looked them over, then spat on the other side of the path before handing them back.  "May we go on or is there danger on the path at this time?"

"No, no danger.  The snows have been gentle so far this year," he said with a sneer.  "I hope you can make it."

"That is why we will be asking for a guide at the villages," he said happily.  "Thank you for your blessing on our travels.  May your travels bring sweet endings at the end of the night."  He and the boys followed Paulo quickly up the trail.  "That was about the extent of my language skills," he complained, rubbing his throat.  "I really do need to learn more than the basics sometime soon.  Gringotts offers language lessons free for us."

"We should all take some," Ron agreed.  "I still need to work on my others, especially theirs."

"Your accent stunk too," Paulo said dryly.  "Wanna let me handle that, Alex?"

"Please, man.  I forgot you spoke the native tongue."

"It's not a problem."  He looked behind them, checking Alex's llamas, then grinned at Ron.  "We've got a follower."

"No waving things until he gives up," Xander ordered.  "We can do this the manual way."

"Yes, Alex," his apprentices said together, not liking that idea.  Not that they had a choice....

***

Ginny slid in beside Dawn on the bench outside, handing over the extra sandwich she had made. "Where did they go this time?"

"Tibet.  They left after they got done removing the cursed necklace from me," she said glumly.

Ginny nudged her.  "Just think, three more years and you can go with them," she said cheerfully.

Dawn brightened up at that.  "I can, can't I?  I can learn a lot to help them by then.  Draco's been making their potions and things, but I can do a lot with my skills.  I should talk to Professor Flitwick about that."

"You should," Ginny agreed.  "How's the baby dragon?"

"Hagrid named him Keelian.  He's a charming little steamer for him too," she admitted with a grin.  "We could go see him.  He's inside Hagrid's hut and it is lunch."

"Sure."  They took off for Hagrid's hut, knocking politely instead of just busting in.  "Hi," Ginny said happily.  "We came to check on the baby dragon."

"That's fine," he said, smiling at them.  "This way, girls."  He let them into his hut, letting them look at the dragon.  Which was sleeping in the middle of the table.  "He's a bit spoiled," he said fondly.  "Likes that spot no matter what else is going on.  Keelian?"  The dragon raised his head and smoked at the two girls, then cheeped at Dawn and fluffed himself up as he stood to stretch.  He wandered over, letting her pet him gently.  "Just like a cat," he said proudly.

"He does move like one," Dawn agreed, scratching the head gently.  "See, I told you you'd see me all the time, Keelian."

The dragon cheeped at her then sniffed at Ginny before climbing up her held out hand for his inspection and crawling down her shirt to nestle against her stomach.  He let out a sigh of pleasure and fell back asleep right there.

"What are you doing?" Ginny asked, peering down the top of her shirt.  "He's asleep!"

Hagrid laughed.  "He thinks you'd make a great mommy, Ginny.  Can't say as I blame him   none, you have it in you."

"That would take a willing man to participate and they seem to run from me," she reminded him.  "That's why I'm helping the Dumass clan with the unicorns."  She untucked her shirt carefully and undid the bottom two buttons, right when the door slammed open.

"What are you doing, Miss Weasley?" Snape demanded.

"Getting the dragon out of my shirt," she complained, turning to let him see.  "See, totally proper still."  She lifted out the dragon, letting it rest on her shoulder since it was complaining.  "You can't nap down there unless you're an enchanted prince," she chastised.  "Then mum would welcome it, but until you turn into a human boy you can't do that."  She did back up the buttons and tucked her shirt back in.  "There, quite proper again, ey, Sir?"

"Fine," he said with disgust.  "What is it with that dragon?"

"Stomachs are comforting and they make growling noises," Dawn reminded him. "To someone with very sensitive hearing, like Keelian, it would make them all the time as it worked.  I'm guessing it reminds him of his mother."

"It is a good supposition, but one unable to be proven or disproven," Snape noted.  "The Species department is here to examine the beast, Hagrid."

"That's fine.  Do they want him up there or down here?"

"Up there, in the Headmaster's office.  Your cohort, Miss Lovegood, had been noted carrying around her ...puppy as well," Snape sneered.  "She's already under examination."

"Boy, won't they be surprised," Ginny said dryly.  "We'll start up with him, Hagrid.  You come up once you've found the journal you keep on his care and feeding."

"Sure, go ahead," he said with a grin.  "They're good with them."

"They are, but only with the young of the species," Snape said dryly.  "Has he shed anything else?"

"A few more scales.  I put them in a paper envelope for you," he said, handing it over.  "Also, Ginny brushed our unicorn if you want the hairs."  Snape's eyes lit up.  "She thought you might.  Gathered with a pure silver comb into paper blessed with holy water.  Traditional even."  He smiled as he handed that mass over as well.  He found the journal and walked up with the other professor, heading to talk to the people watching his baby for him.

Ginny and Dawn walked into the Headmaster's office, both of them smiling.  "The dragon decided her stomach sounded like the mother," Dawn shared.  "Just dove down her shirt again.  Professor Snape was not all that impressed."

"His face was priceless.  I only had the bottom three buttons undone but he looked like I was doing a full striptease for Hagrid."  She handed over the sleeping dragon.  "Watch out, he just fell back asleep."

The Species boss sat down, letting him rest in her lap while she checked him over.  "He's well tended.  Some light shedding, which is normal at his age.  Smoking still?"

"He smoked at us until he recognized our scents," Dawn reported.  "Are they short- sighted?"

"All these sorts don't have the greatest of all eyesight," the official admitted, looking at her.  The dragon bit her on the finger, making her yelp.  "Yes, you are definitely a dragon.  I can pay attention to the girls."  The dragon snorted at her, blowing out a bit of steam, but put his head back down to watch her hands.  "Sorry, would you like me to pet you or not?"  She stroked down his back and it raised under her hand, but the rest of him stayed limp.  "Ah, just like a cat."  Hagrid came in and handed over the journal.  "Thank you, Hagrid.  He looks very well tended.  Well oiled, full stomach, good tail action," she said when it hit her on the upper arm.  "Stop that."

"Keelian, don't hurt her.  She's the one who will keep you with the daddy," Dawn reminded him.  "She's a nice person who's making sure you stay."  The dragon settled down and purred on her lap.

"Thank you, Miss Summers.  Do you still go by your sister's name?"

"Most of the time," she agreed.  "Occasionally I'm accused of being a Dumass though."  Everyone adult in the room laughed.  "I know, but it just comes for me, really."

"It's one of those things that they used to look for in future cursebreakers.  The more trouble that finds you the greater you'll be."

"Well, gee, I had a Hell Goddess after me once.  Where would that rate me?"

"Up there with Alex," Ginny assured her, giving her a pat on the back.  "Hey, Luna, where's your puppy?"

"In my bag.  He hated her on sight and you know he and Keelian don't get along."

"Which is a good thing.  We don't want your friend to taint the nice little dragon, do we, Miss Lovegood?" she asked archly.

"He's still trying to nurse," she complained.  "Bloody well hurts too!"

"As it should," Dumbledore agreed.  "Your body was not made for nursing hellhounds.  It's only logical."  He smiled at her.  "Is there any word on when his mother will be coming back?"

"Not a clue, sir. I tried to call her but apparently she's still busy."

"That's fine, Miss Lovegood.  Remember to keep him quiescent and calm most of the time.  Do not let him chase after Professor Flitwick's hat again if you could."

"I tried the last time, he thought it was a quail."  She shrugged.  "Dawn's dog has done the same thing."

"Yeah, but Midnight only wanted to lick poor Professor Flitwick to death," Dawn said dryly, giving her a look.  "I'll help you train him."

"Thanks, love."

"Welcome, dear."  She nudged Ginny, looking down at where the dragon was trying to sneak over to her and up her skirt.  "Maybe you should stop him."

"That is not an acceptable means of getting close to my stomach," Ginny said firmly, removing him and holding him up to look him in the eyes.  "Do not try that again, Keelian, or no cuddling."  The dragon gave her a pitiful look so she let him back down her shirt, where he got comfortable and went back to sleep, making all the adults but Professor Snape chuckle.

"Is there some sort of problem?" Hagrid asked.

"Well, we had to report the incident to the Brazilian Ministry and they're not happy, but the person who supposedly owned him didn't even realize his dragon had hatched, much less run away."  She looked at Ginny's stomach again.  "We've assured them that the dragon is in the best of possible hands, it's not going to make potions, like it could have been slated for, and it's got some very dedicated caretakers.  I'll need to copy your journal, Hagrid, just in case."

"That's fine," he agreed happily.  "I'll even let 'em come look at him if you want.  I'd love to keep him. He's just like me own Fang. Just a tiny baby steamer."

"Has he tried the trick with sleeping on your throat yet?" Dawn asked.  "He tried that the night before we came up."

"He tried it on me as well, but I awoke before he could get too comfortable," Snape agreed.  "I have no intention of harming the dragon, but I will be using anything he sheds willingly, any poisons that he may present at some point in time, and possibly draw blood off now and then without harming him any."

"Which is wise and compassionate," the official agreed.  "That's the smartest course anyway.  They do that on the preserves according to the people I've talked to down there.  He is doing fine?"

"He's just a loving little guy," Hagrid assured her.  "He loves to go out and steam at the unicorn and the students.  Some of the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws come down to oil him now and then.  They think he's precious too."

"Would it help if we students wrote letters to the Ministry down there?" Ginny asked.  "We can assure them how good the dragon is treated."  She looked down as the dragon shifted and curled up again. "Comfy?" she asked dryly.  The dragon gently steamed her stomach, not hurting her at all.  "See, he knows me and doesn't want to hurt me presently.  That'll change when he's older but by then even Hagrid may be dead.  Charlie said these sort live to be at least seven or eight hundred."

"They do," she agreed, smiling at her. "How are you liking your present duties with the Dumasses?"

"I like it, but it sucks that I can still work with unicorns," Ginny said bitterly.  "I'd like to not scare the boys off."

"Give it time, everyone will forget Ron eventually," Luna promised her.  "Then no more unicorns."

"Yeah, but I might miss them.  Unicorns are really soft," she explained.

"They are," the official agreed, smiling at her.  "At least wait until they've found someone else to help them, Ginny.  You're doing a great service."

"I know, but they're not going to find anyone anytime soon.  Who're they gonna get, the twins' kids?  They're so dark already they probably can't touch the unicorns."

"That's not true, the twins played with the school's unicorn all the time," Hagrid told her. "I don't know why, but they loved to brush her each month."

"They were gathering potions ingredients," Snape told him.  Hagrid scowled at him.  "Seriously.  A great many of their pranks call for a single or a partial hair of a unicorn.  So they took the unicorn's shedding without hurting her or needing to buy them."  Hagrid slumped.

"It's not your fault, Hagrid.  They were quite gentle with Matilda," Dumbledore reminded him. "They always cared quite a lot for her and treated her with respect."

"I do the same thing for the Dumass clan," Ginny assured him.  "They put some of the hairs into candles for some reason."

"It makes them suitable for working spells with them," Snape told her.  "Do they have a good store?"

"Aunt Cordy said if you asked me I was to shoo you back to the house so she could feed you properly, get Holly free of her evil father and mother, and then you can beg and plead her for a wedding one since her father's getting demanding," Ginny said, obviously quoting since her eyes were closed.  "Oh, yeah," she said, opening her eyes.  "She also said to tell you our brush needed to be replaced and if you could tell her who did that presently she'd even give you a good portion of the closet full of candles that she's made."

"Closet full?" he whimpered.

"Of varying quality.  The first few times I didn't gather them properly.  They touched the ground and my pocket."

"Still, they would be useful for most things," Snape agreed.  "I'll talk to her tonight.  Thank you for that interesting note.  Who is Holly's father trying to marry her off to?"

"Anyone but you," she said seriously.  "Preferably someone like Ethan, before he went demonic."

"I'll smack him around until he cries," Dawn said firmly, hands on her hips.  "No one hurts Holly that way and lives!  She's a member of the family and we stick up for each other!"  She stomped her foot.  "Headmaster, may I please have a few personal hours to go to Amsterdam?"

"Denied, Miss Summers," he said patiently.  "Unless Professor Snape takes you along."   He looked at Severus.  "Who did you want to cover your classes?"

"I don't think that will be necessary."

Dawn looked at him.  "Either you go or I'm sending Harry."  He scowled at her. "He's family too, Professor.  Plus, she likes him."  She grinned.  "I can always call him."  She checked her watch. "He doesn't have a game for two weeks.  He's probably at practice right now."

"No, I don't think it will be necessary.  She can easily walk away from them."

"Um, permission to butt into your private life sir," Luna started.

"Denied, Miss Lovegood."

"Fine, then I won't tell you about the will removal spells or anything like making her a maiden trapped in her home waiting for her skinny, nasty, greasy knight."

"Miss Lovegood, your mother would be appalled at your mouth," the Headmaster said firmly.  "For that you will serve a detention with him when he returns."

"Fine," she agreed happily.  "Not a problem, as long as someone goes before *I* take Dawn with me."

Dawn turned to the fireplace and tossed some floo powder into it.  "Harry Potter."  His head spun and he blinked, then disappeared before coming back.  "Harry, Justinius has Holly trapped and is auctioning her off so she can't marry Snape.  He wants to give her to someone like Ethan was."

Harry nodded.  "Okay.  When do we go?"

"Just like that?" Snape demanded.

Harry looked at him.  "Yeah, just like that.   I consider that a worse fate than being married to you, sir."  He shrugged.  "I'll be done in an hour.  Give me another ten to shower please."  His head disappeared.  He looked at his coach, who had his mouth open.  "Sorry, sir, emergency.  One of my cousins is being forced into a marriage away from her choice and against her will.  I'll be gone for a bit tonight to go see my Uncle Justinius."

"Justinius?" he asked blandly.  "The one your family kicked out?"  Harry nodded, looking placid and calm.  "What daughter?"

"Holly, the one who likes Snape."

"Someone likes Snape?" Bear asked.  "Why?"

"Holly's a wiccan," Harry told him.  "She's a neat woman, very nice and sweet.  She can also kick ass like each and every woman in my maternal family.  I saw her during the final battle and she did some stuff that scared the hell out of me, including taking on Rosenburg."  He looked at his coaches.  "So I'll be a bit late for late practice tonight, sir."

"Fine, Potter.  Do you need to leave now?"

"No, I told him practice ended in an hour and to give me another ten to shower.  That I'd go with him then.  Or go alone or with Dawn if he doesn't want to go."

"Fine.  Be careful.  We can't afford to lose you and it won't get you out of your contract."

Harry grinned.  "That's fine, sir.  I'm always careful."  He zipped off to tell Oliver.  "We're apparently going to rescue Snape's true love tonight.  So I'll be late."

"Snape's in love?" Oliver asked. "With who?"

"Remember the picture of Holly?"  He considered it then nodded.  "Her.  She's Alex's brother's step-daughter.  They're forcing her to marry someone slimier and nastier."

"Bloody hell.  Need help?"

"No, we'll get it done," Harry said with a quick wink.  "I've got some experience in that sort of thing."  He darted off, catching the snitch.  He flew to hand it to the coach.  "Weren't we still playing?"

"Yes," he agreed.  "Run another scrimmage.  Harry, play opposing beater for a bit against Bear."

"Yes, sir," he agreed happily.  His uncle had taught him a bit about the position so he wasn't hopeless but it wasn't his best skill.  He almost made a better keeper instead.  He caught the bat and swung as he flew off.   "Come on, Bear, now he's crossing me into your spot in case you have to cover for Oliver."

"Good," Bear agreed happily.  "You are strong, this will make you stronger.  When will you work on getting through the chasers?"

"Probably tonight since they're due then," he said happily.  He liked this life, except for the fans.

***

Snape knocked on the door, giving the woman answering it a long look. "I've come to see Holly."

"She doesn't want to see you," the mother said sharply.  She slammed the door.

Harry considered it, then kicked it in.  "We'd rather hear that from her, thank you all the same," he said politely, smiling at her, then at Justinius.  "Sorry, we're keeping Dawn from coming for Holly.  Where might she be?"

"In her bedroom.  She's to be married today," he said, crossing his arms.  "Who are you to barge in here like this?"

"Alex's great-nephew and possibly his grandson on the other side.  Don't recognize me?"  He stomped up the stairs.  "Holly, it's Harry," he called.  "I brought Severus."  A door opened and Alex's sister Mel stepped out.  Harry slugged her.  "Sorry, I don't normally hit girls, but I don't consider you a girl.  You're more like a demon in my book."  He checked the room, heading to the one at the end of the hall, where he could hear crying.  He kicked in that one as well.  "It's never quite as impressive as when you use your wand, but I find I need some physical threat every day," he said the gaping woman.  "Ready to go?  Severus is downstairs."

"Please," she begged, heading down the stairs at a dead run. "Sev!"  She launched herself at him, hugging him as hard as she could.  "Oh, Gods, you came.  I tried to fight but they did this nasty spell and they kept giving me to these people, but they died.  Oh, please, God, take me away."

"Come along, we'll leave," he agreed.  He looked at Harry as he came down the stairs.  "Are you done being impressive?"

"Yeah, for now.  Then I've got more practice later," he said with a grin.  "Come on, Holly.  Alex is in Tibet so it's up to us to get Dawnie into trouble."

Holly laughed and hugged him too, a light, brotherly hug before going back to her man's arms.  "Please take me from here."

"Take hold of the portkey," Severus whispered.  "We'll follow."  She nodded and let it take her off.  Severus looked at Justinius.  "Des was right, you are evil.  Much more so than I could ever be.  I would never torture my own children."  He turned and walked out, Harry taking long enough to cheerfully wave and grin at them again.  "Do stop that, Potter, they're not your *adoring* fans."

"No, but it irritates them more than anything," Harry said dryly.  He flicked his wand at the door, casting the sticking charm Alex had taught them.  Severus looked at him so he beamed at him.  "Sticking charm straight out of a tomb in Egypt.  Works really well too.  Not even Hermione could break it when we used it on her history book."  He apparated off, heading for the pitch while Severus sent himself back to the school's gates.

Severus shook his head.  "They're all insane," he said grimly.  "Every single one of them."  He sent himself to the schools' gates, then hiked up to the school.  The portkey had put her just on the edge of the Dark Forest.  Albus had created it specially for him.  He found his woman leaning on Dawn so he walked past and took her from his young charge.  "Come, you can clean up in my room, Holly," he said gently.

"Thank you, Severus.  Gods, that was horrible.  I prayed for a savior and you came.  The last time I prayed for help, the last three grooms died before they could touch me."

He looked at her.  "Good, it is no more than they deserved.  No real man would ever touch you against your will."  He gave her a gentle kiss and understood what Alex was talking about now.  "Let's get you cleaned up and calmed down.  You may have my bed tonight and I'll be on the couch."

"Don't," she whispered.  "I don't want to sleep alone.  You can even have the top of the covers," she suggested hopefully when he didn't look like he was going to budge.  "Please, Sev?"

"If you wish, as long as it is of your free will," he assured her.  He let her into his apartment, noticing that someone had laid a dinner out for them, complete with special candles by the smell of them.  He mentally groaned.  This push to see him mated was a bit much in his mind.  "I did not do that," he told her when she stared at it.

"I didn't think you had.  Only Dawn knew that I like squid."  She shrugged before heading into his bathroom.  "Do you have a big shirt I could wear, Severus?"

"You left a few things here," he admitted.  He pulled out the present he had bought for her before he had heard she had been recalled home, handing it to her.  "I found that for you as well."

She looked inside then at him, raising an eyebrow.  "Okay."  She went into the bathroom to clean up, coming out in the light green, spaghetti strap dress.  He openly gaped.  "It's not my normal statement."

"No, but it does suit you," he said with a touch of smugness.  "Since they laid us out food, you should eat," he offered, helping her into her seat. He noticed she wasn't wearing shoes and had to hold himself rigidly in check.  He loved pretty feet on a woman.  He sat down across from her, giving her small smirk at her surprised look.  He poured the wine for her, letting her pick out what she wanted from the dishes laid on the table.  Then he gently touched his free hand to hers, their fingers barely brushing.  She relaxed and went along with what someone else had planned for their evening.  "We can get them later," he promised.

She laughed.  "Sure.  Do you want Dawn or the house elf she bribed?"

"Actually, I think I want Potter since he must have planned it with her."

"How?"

"I have no idea, but I will be finding out or she and her little dog will be spending the better part of the year in detention."  He gave her another smile.  "You missed it, she put on a cursed obsidian choker and a very slinky black dress she had thought Ron sent her."

"Ron sends her naughty clothes?  The girl needs more?"

"Apparently he enjoys dressing her up," he said lightly.

"Like you do?"

"I thought you might like it," he said humbly, glancing down at his plate.  Her fingers clasped his so he looked at her again.  "You do like it?"

"I do like it.  It's like a silken torture against my skin," she said happily.  She used her toes to tug on his pantsleg.  "Don't be shy, Severus.  You saved me from a really horrible fate, or suicide.  One of the two or possibly both.  He was going to marry me off to someone stronger than Uncle Ethan ever had been."

"I would have killed him for you," he assured her.  She gave him a light smile.  "Eat.  They obviously thought you needed a lot of food."

"I am a bit hungry."

"Then eat, you should eat as much as you want," he assured her. "You'll be working it off helping me torture Dawn."

"Good point."  She put more onto her plate and dug in.  "Sorry, but I am really hungry."

"I don't mind," he promised.  She had the best manners, even when she was gulping her food so fast she couldn't possibly taste it.

Up the hall, Professor Methos smirked as he canceled the scrying pool, looking at Dawn.  "Better?"

"Much," she agreed happily.  "Don't worry, I won't give you up."

He gave her a gentle hug.  "Don't worry about it, he deserves to be happy and needed my personal version of playing Cupid," he said with a wink.  "He won't touch you, Dawn.  Go hide in your tower tonight."  She nodded and skipped out, going to brush her dog.  Methos laughed, cackling madly.  It was so good to get back into the stream of mischief. Severus was just an adorable target for him.

***

"Miss Summers," Professor Snape said as he walked into breakfast the next morning.  "I would like to thank you for the *thoughtful* action of making sure I ate last night," he said dryly.  "For such a kind act, I would like to offer you in return a whole month of detention scrubbing my classroom."

"Dinner, sir?" she asked, trying to look confused.  "I didn't do a thing about your dinner, sir."

"Miss Summers, you are an incredibly bad liar," he said smugly.  "You do not have it in you to lie, especially not to me."

"Oh, there you are, Professor," Methos said as he walked in, clad as usual as the Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher.  "Did you enjoy the dinner I had the elves send you last night?  I figured you would need some stamina after rescuing such a beautiful woman.  Where might Holly be?"

"She's having a meeting with the Headmaster," he said, looking at him.  "You sent dinner?"  Methos gave him a smug smirk along with his nod. "Why?"

"Because Miss Summers had been quite worried that you'd be too worn out from the rescue to eat with the rest of us.  She thoughtfully told me what Holly's favorite dishes were and was nice enough to even help me talk a house elf into preparing them.  After all, a political marriage is often a fate worse than death.  Is she all right?" he asked as he slid past him.

"She's quite fine," he said, glaring at the straight back.  He glared at Dawn.  "You didn't send dinner?"

"No, sir, he asked me what her favorites were so I told him what I knew," she admitted.  "I was more worried that Justinius might hurt one of you.  After all, he's more evil than Luna's Ethan snuggly if he did that to his little girl.  Is she all right?  We like your wife, sir."

"She's quite fine.  Wife?" he asked, a bit loudly.  Surely she didn't think....

"Wife?" one of his Slytherins asked with a happy grin, breaking into his mental worries.  "Oh, congratulations, sir," he praised, clapping.  "He's finally married that woman of his," he told them. "That's why he's been off these last few days."  The whole table stood up to cheer and clap for him.

"Stop that," he hissed, and they obediently stopped.  "We are not married as of this moment."

"Oh, an engagement," one of the girls said happily.  "Sir, if you need help planning, just ask me, I've had to help my mum with hers recently."

Snape gave her a look, then nodded once and walked out, heading for the office.  He slammed open the top door.  "I want you to fire that smug bastard," he said coldly.

"Severus, there are many smug bastards in this school who could be fired, you among them," Dumbledore said dryly.  "Which one?"

"Your Defense teacher.  He set us up.  All my house believes we're shortly to get married thanks to his and Miss Summer's intervention."

"Methos set you up?" Holly asked, grinning at him.  "Why?"

"I believe he takes perverse pleasure from watching me squirm," he said bitterly.  "I want him gone."

"Severus, he was only trying to help you a bit," Dumbledore said patiently.  "It's clear to me that you both like each other quite a lot.  Otherwise you would have come to dinner last night.  One of the elves told me that they had ordered something special for you both.  I had assumed it was a bridal dinner as well."  Snape gaped at him.  "Really.  Otherwise I can't really let her stay.  It's not exactly appropriate in front of the students and you know Lovegood is getting us watched quite closely.  Now, if you want, we can do this fairly quickly and quietly, then announce it at dinner.  I'll even make it a special banquet in your honor if you want.  I had already planned on that actually," he admitted.  "That's why I let Holly sign the contract I had waiting on you to return."

"Contract?" he spluttered.  Dumbledore handed it over.  "This is a marriage contract!" he squeaked.

"That is quite true," Dumbledore agreed.  "Holly, would that really bother you?  I know you've just been through a horrible experience."

"No, not in the least," she said, her eyes wide.  "You really are nearly as bad as my father, do you realize this?"

Dumbledore smiled at him.   "Yes, but I do what I do for better reasons than your father ever did.  I'm afraid we'll have to do this without Alex, but I'm equally sure Ancordina will be planning a reaffirmation ceremony for the rest of the family."

"I'll slug the old biddy," Holly told him. "Aunt Cordy had better leave off my love life."

"Well, she may be a bit preoccupied.  It seems she's been taken by Alex's father.  Apparently his first wife approved of him dating her sister."  Dumbledore shrugged.  "Sign the paper, Severus."

"I will not."

"Then we'll have to relieve you of your duties," Dumbledore said simply.  "I know Greg would willingly take over so his offspring could go here."  Snape gave him a hurt look.  "It is against the moral code of the school to let unmarried people live together, Severus."

"Um, excuse me, but we're not exactly living together.  I'm still a virgin," Holly noted.

"Really?  Hmm.  Still. It is for the best.  Even you can see that," he assured her with a smile.  She stood up.  "Of course, you could leave, find a residence elsewhere.  That is your choice."

"Fine," Severus said, signing it.  "It will be in name only until she is ready," he declared.

"Sev?" she whispered, looking at him.  She saw what his intentions were and kissed him, praying hard that the Goddess let him be her one and only.  She felt the spell around her part and allow him inside and mentally sent a brief 'thank you' along with a burst of lust.  "I was waiting on you, Sev.  We Dumasses are not known for our patience."

He moaned against her lips. "I still claim right of vengeance against Methos."

"Fine.  Get Tipsy to help," she agreed with a small smile.  "She's been bored."

"That is a good idea," he agreed.  He glared at the headmaster, who was chuckling gayly from the safety of his desk.  "One day, Albus, I will get you for this."

"My dear Severus, I only want what's best for you and what will obviously make you happy, as she does."  He waved a hand then chuckled again.  "Shall we get witnesses up here?  Minerva and Finius?  Dawn perhaps, or even Miss Lovegood?"

"Oh, no, I don't think we need Miss Lovegood and her nursing hellhound puppy," he said bitterly.  "To take the wind out of your sails, we'll be going to the Ministry."  Dumbledore handed over the floo pot with a totally fake pout, but Severus had the time to come up with an interesting means of getting even with him.  He took his wife off to the Ministry and into the Office of Registration.  "We are getting married," he announced.  The woman behind the counter squealed and tried to hug him but his horrified look made her calm down and get an officiant since they already had the contract.

"Ooh, three children?" she asked Holly.  "Are you sure, love?"

"Children?" Severus asked, looking at the contract he had snatched.  "That bastard!"

"Who?" the officiant asked.

"Dumbledore," Holly told her.  "He set us up with Professor Methos."

"Oooh, that poor thing," the woman sighed.

"You're a Hufflepuff, aren't you?" Holly asked.  She and her minion both nodded, grinning at her. "Figures.  Let's just do this.  We can negotiate about kids later, Severus.  I'm not looking forward to being a womb."

"I do not particularly like children," he noted.  "We will work that out."  He handed it back.  "Do so now."

"Yes, Professor Snape.  Do you love her and swear yourself to her and her life and happiness?"

"I do so vow," he said calmly.

"Do you Holly swear yourself to his life and his happiness?  Do you love him enough to do this with him?"

"I do," she agreed, clutching his hand.

The officiant stamped the contract then handed it back.  "Kiss if you want, or go plot your revenge."  The new Snapes walked out and she squealed, hugging her coworker.  "That was so cute of Albus!" she cooed.  "They are so well suited!"

"Plus, it'll give the Weasley twins something to do that doesn't include Percy.  Think I could date him now?"

"Maybe," she offered.  "Run down there and ask him to dinner.  It's a day for big moves if Professor Snape finally got married."

She giggled and jogged down the halls, heading for Percy's office.  She stopped and smoothed herself out, then tapped and walked in at his irritated grunt. "Percy," she asked softly, closing the door behind her.  He dropped his quill to look at her, looking a tad bit guilty.  "There's some news that made me want to come down here and ask you out to dinner.  Would you like to go?  I'll treat," she offered.

"It's only proper that I pay," he said quietly.  "I would love to."  He gave her a gentle smile.  "What news was that?"

"Professor Snape just married his woman.  Albus set them up beautifully," she said with a smile. "He even included children in the marriage contract."  He burst out in giggles, covering his mouth.  "Oh, celebrate!  It's good news," she chided, leaning over to gently kiss him.  "I'll come by after work?"  He looked stunned, then grabbed her to kiss her, making her moan.  "Oh, maybe breakfast too," she moaned.  He laughed at that, letting her go.  "Percy?"

"I've been fighting it, Marilyn."

"Really?" she asked hopefully.

He nodded.  "I didn't think it was right of me," he said quietly.

"No, Percy, you have to move on sometime.  She would have wanted it."  She kissed him again and of course they were interrupted by Arthur.  "Oh, sorry," she said with a blush.  She winked at him.  "Dinner, Percy."  She hurried back to her office.  She ran into her coworker in the hall and squealed. "Dinner!  He kissed me!"  Her coworker's squeal echoed back down the hall, making Arthur smile at his son.

"I think she's a wonderful girl, Percy.  I'll tell your mother not to wait up for you to tonight."

"It would be a first date," he said, sounding shocked.

"Son, I know that look.  I gave it to your mother right before we created Charlie and got married."  He smirked at him.  "What other news was there?"

"Apparently Professor Snape got married today.  Dumbledore set him up."

Arthur burst out laughing.  "Good on him.  Severus deserves every happiness after the life he's had to live.  Would you like to go to lunch with me or did you already have plans?"

"No, I'm free.  We made a date for dinner."  He stood up and grabbed his robe.

"I believe I heard breakfast mentioned," Arthur teased.  His sweet and gentle son blushed bright red.  "Wait until Ron hears about this," he teased.  "He'll squeal, Draco will scowl at someone, and Alex will demand that she treat his son well."

Percy snorted.  "If you think so."

"Oh, I do," Arthur said smugly.  "Want to stop by and grab the twins?  Tipsy's out today."

"If you want," he agreed.  He and the twins had made peace and they deserved the good news.  He had no idea that they would be the ones telling Ron.

***

Alex woke up when Ron shoved him.  "What?" he complained.

"News from the school," Ron said, looking quite serious.

"Another attack?  Who's that dumb?"

"No, Dumbledore, Methos, and Dawnie set Snape up so he had to marry Holly."

"Excuse me?" Draco asked, sitting up.  "He did what?"

"He married Holly.  Went to the Ministry to deflate some of Dumbledore's glee at helping set them up.  Methos and Dawnie set them up a candlelight dinner after her rescue from Justinius.  The next morning, Dumbledore told him he'd have to marry her or quit his job because they couldn't be together at the school if they were unmarried.  He even wrote children into the contract without either of them knowing about it until the officiant read it over."  He smirked at them.  "The twins wanted to know if either of you wanted to go back there tonight.  Dinner's in about five hours."

"Oh, I am so going," Draco announced. "Just to give her the most charming Slytherin welcome that has ever been seen."  He climbed out of the blankets and cloaks, still dressed.  It had been too cold for sex last night.  "Alex?"

Alex stood up.  "Hey, Paulo."  Paulo lifted his head, eyes only half open.  "Me and Draco will be back in a day.  Stay here, man.  Guard Ron and keep him from getting into too much trouble.  Teach him how to do the curses you do so well.  My son just got married without warning me in advance."  Paulo nodded once, then his head flopped back down.  "Ron, try to make the camp a bit more permanent today.  Maybe a cave?  The snow is coming tonight and I don't remember one higher up."

"Sure, Alex," he agreed happily. "Can't I come?"

"Nope, sorry."  He patted Ron on the back.  "Call Harry if he doesn't have a game."

"Bugger," Ron sighed. "I wanted some of Dawn's lips."

"It'll only be three more weeks," Draco reminded him as he changed clothes.  They sent themselves back to the main house, then dusted off and sent themselves to the school in secret, coming out Methos' floo outlet.  They winked at him and headed for the Great Hall. It was about dinner time.  They snuck in with the gathering students, each taking a side of the hall.  Draco stood beside the Slytherin table, motioning them to ignore him.  They nodded and went back to their discussions.  Xander took the Gryffindor side, winking at Ginny.  She giggled and spread the word of why there was a celebration.  Snape and Holly walked in together and Draco led the cheer with an "It's about time!"  The rest of the house cheered as Snape spun to glare at them.  Draco smirked at him.  "Like I'd miss this," he said dryly, walking closer.  "Treat him correctly, Holly, or else you will find out exactly how cunning the best of all Slytherins can be."  He kissed her on the cheek, then handed her back to Snape.  "Treat her well, old man.  Don't want my mate to steal her, do you?"  He waved at Alex.

Alex stepped forward, looking them over.  "Well, I should have been told in advance.  There should already be a ring," he noted.  Snape groaned so he handed over the one he had gotten off Cordy.  "Aunt Emmajean's."  He looked at Snape again as he stared at it in shock.  "Yes, your Aunt's, son," he said dryly.  "I will expect you to treat each other quite well.  Or else I will have to take offense on the part of the hurt party," he said, staring down Holly until she swallowed.

"Leave her be, Alex," Snape said, stepping between them.  His father smirked at him and he glared at him. "You knew?"

"No, Ron got told and woke us up."  He hugged him.  "Be happy, Severus.  That's all I ever wanted for you."  He pulled back. "I meant it.  She hurts you, you tell me and Draco.  You hurt her, she'll tell me and Draco."

"Draco and I," she corrected primly.  A few brave Hufflepuffs laughed at that. "Aren't you supposed to be in Tibet?"

"Yes, but this was too important to miss," Alex assured her.

"It's about time you found something to make you quit looking like you're wearing the wrong size of underwear," Draco agreed.  "We'll pick up a present on the way back of course."

"It's not necessary," Holly said, blushing bright pink.

"Who needs to wear underwear?" Severus hissed.  He turned his wife around and looked at the staring students.  "Yes, it is true," he admitted.  They all cheered and when he turned to look the duo were gone.  "Remind me to add them to the list," he whispered in her ear, making her grin up at him.  He led her up to the head table, putting her into her seat.  "You stay there," he announced.   He pulled out his seat and found a baby dragon.  "Hagrid, why is Keelian in my chair?"

"He wanted to congratulate you too, Professor," he said happily.  "Got away from me though."

"Ooh, you are adorable," Holly cooed, picking him up to put him in her lap.  "Yes, you are quite cute for being a steaming little beast."  Hagrid laughed at that.  "Dawn, isn't he *yours*?"

"He's Ron's actually," Dawn noted.   She came up to repossess him, winking at her.  "I only told him what you'd want," she said innocently.  She took the dragon back with her, where he was petted by every single Hufflepuff and fed by most of them.

"To celebrate this momentous occasion, we are having a banquet tonight," Dumbledore announced, clapping his hands.  "There will be cake at the end, that is why there are no desserts."  He sat down, smiling at Severus.   "Aren't you happier now, Severus?"

"I'll kill you some day," he said sweetly, smirking at him.  The other teachers laughed at that.

"If he doesn't, I will.  He set us up," Holly announced.  The teachers nodded, and chatted so apparently they had expected that.  She took Severus' hand, giving it a squeeze.  "In which order, love?"

"Methos first," he said, glaring down at him.  Methos saluted them with his goblet and went back to his drinking.   They both about jumped at the sound of badly played music.  "What is that?"

"They're early," Methos complained.  He glared outside the door, subtly touching his tattoo on his arm.  The noise stopped.  He smiled at Severus.  "Don't worry.  They'll come back later."

"Oh, dear Lords Below.  They're going to serenade us?" Holly asked.

"Until you scream in pleasure," Methos agreed smugly. "It's a favorite tradition of mine."

"Pervert," McGonagall said fondly, smirking at him.

Methos nodded.  "Sometimes," he agreed happily.

Professor Flitwick leaned closer to Holly.  "I've charmed a room to disappear for the night," he hissed.  "It's up in the East tower, just above the Gryffindor house.  You reach it through the attics.  Severus should know how to get there.  Go in there, lock the door and use the charm 'maric'.  It's one of my own creation," he assured her.  He went back to his dinner, smiling at them.

Holly shared that information with Severus, who nodded politely at his fellow teacher.   They hadn't counted on Tipsy hearing him through the open link to her tattoo, but she was a bit busy at the moment with the horny husbands clinging to her body.

***

Oliver opened his door, smiling at the women walking in.  "It's about time," he said, hugging them each.  "Oh, I've missed you three."  He let them in, leaving the door open for any others who might come up.  "Where have you been?"

"Busy working," Angelina admitted.

"That and being married to a stupid plonker," Katie noted, grinning at him.  "Did you hear, Snape got married."

"I did.  Harry told me," he said with a grin.  "Harry?"  Harry came out of the kitchen with trays of food.  "We got it catered," he assured them.  "The twins have not been allowed near the food.  Nor their twins."

"I had to stop Joxer from helping," Harry agreed.  "She's gotten really good at reaching for things."  He set down the food, then looked around.  "Where are the twins?"

"Snogging probably," Oliver noted with a grin.  "The same as they always seem to be doing these days."

"Who's Joxer?" Alicia asked as she picked up a piece of meat and bread to nibble.

"One of the twin's twins," Oliver said with a grin.  "I pay them a little rent and babysit for them now and then for the opportunity to live up here safely away from my fans."

"They're very strict about who he brings up here usually," Harry agreed as he relaxed.  "Kids?"  They came crawling out to climb on the new people.  He touched one of his tattoos, making Fred finish up and George help his wife up and into the shower.  "They've got to shower.  You were right, they were shagging," he told Oliver.

"How do you know?" Katie asked, grinning at him.  "A new side gift of the scar?"

"No, charm we did between us so they would know what Ron was doing," Harry said with a wink.  "He's in Tibet by the way.  He, Draco, and Draco's consort - who is our teacher."

"Isn't Dawn coming?" Oliver asked.

"Nope, I couldn't get her sprung.  The Brazilian Ministry was coming up today to look at Keelian."

"Who is...." Katie asked.

"The dragon," Harry told her. "It adopted Ron in Rio."  He grinned at them.  "It's amazing.  We get to get into trouble for a career now."  The three girls laughed, shaking their heads. "Didn't the twins invite any of the older players?" Harry asked Oliver.

"I'm not sure.  I was a bit busy in practice.  That's why I let them send the announcements," Oliver admitted.  "Harry's still a treat on the broom.  My coach is making him learn the other jobs too so he can cover in case something happens during a game.  Took right to beater."

Harry grinned at him.  "Of course I did, I've practiced on Draco and Ron."  They all cracked at that.  "Where are the twins?"  He picked up Joxer and stopped Iolaus from heading down the stairs.  "Your mum would kill me, little guy.  Get back in here and be worshiped like the future quidditch player you'll be."

"The twins really got married?" Katie asked.  "We thought the announcement was a joke."

Oliver shook his head.  "Nope, and they pouted to beat all because you haven't talked to them since then.  She's older but she's a prankster too.  She's having twins again."  He grinned as footsteps came up the stairs.

"Iolaus, you know better.  Stairs are not for babies," Fred said as he picked up his son.  "Sorry, caught us mid-shag.  Harry, is bad timing another cursebreaker trait?  You and Ron both seem to have it.  He just got jumped by a military unit a few hours earlier."

Harry raised an eyebrow.  "A desperate plea for help?"

"No, mum had us call to make sure he was fine," George noted as he led their wife in.  "Up, Harry.  That's got the footstool."  He helped Tipsy into Harry's chair, kissing her gently.  "There, love.  You rest now."  He patted her on the stomach.  "Hello, it's the daddy.  Want some nummies?"

Tipsy belched.  "I don't think they need more," she noted.  Both her men grinned at her. "Boys," she warned.  "We're around decent folk."

"Please!  We used to date two of them," Fred said with a wink for his ladies.  "No other kids for ours to terrorize?"

"Cassandra's down for a nap," Harry offered.  "Emilia sent her on.  Apparently Greg got a bit fiery earlier and took her again and again.  They're on their way up to see Snape."

"Good on them. Greg was his apprentice," Tipsy agreed.  She smiled at the shocked younger women.  "I know, you're not who I expected."

"No, but you make them quit pranking us, so therefore you're obviously a goddess," Alicia assured her.

"If you can put up with those two night and day, we'll worship at your feet," Katie agreed happily.

Angelina smirked at her. "Besides, it's a good thing they have kids to wear out that extra energy on.  Can you imagine the shop going global otherwise?  There'll be kids in Africa wanting to come to Hogwarts to copy them."

"As long as they don't bomb the charms class," Harry said with a shrug.  Everyone stared at him.  "Those two who got Dawn's charm lessons last year?" he reminded them.

"Hmm.  They're still quite sorry," George said smugly.

"We saw them before they went back this year.  They promised us they were going to try to behave and not piss off the Ungodly trio.  Apparently that's Luna, Ginny, and Dawn's new nickname around the school.  Even the Slytherins are committed to leaving them alone."

"As they should be," Harry agreed smugly.  "Can you imagine Draco going after his house again?"

"Malfoy?" Katie asked, looking confused.  "When did he turn good?"

"He married my great-uncle Alex and got screwed into the bed a few dozen times," Harry told them honestly.  "He's a consort veela."

"Your great-uncle?"

"No, Draco."

"Oh, wow," Angelina hissed. "No wonder everyone in the school wanted the little twerp."

"Right now he's in Tibet with Ron getting into trouble with him and my great-uncle Alex," Harry said happily. "Dirty, nasty, sweaty, cold, and still working as a curse breaker."

"You're a Dumass?" Katie shrieked.  "It all makes so much more sense now!"

Harry grinned and nodded. "Doesn't it though?  The coach briefly thought about offering Alex a job on the team, but then he remembered the game."

"What game?" Oliver asked.

"See, Dumbledore last year decided to implement a plan to protect all the houses in case of an attack.  He spread his greatest fighters among them.  Hermione went to Ravenclaw, Ron and I got Gryffindor.  Draco and his consort, my great-uncle, went to Hufflepuff and the whole of Slytherin decided to shun him for it.  Now, my uncle's no slouch and Draco's not bad.  Dawnie's on the house team presently as a keeper but she believes it's only a game.  So the annual game came against Slytherin.  They weren't that great this year but they were dirtier than under Flint.  Seriously," he said, holding up a hand when everyone else laughed.  "We're talking someone snuck their wand to try and choke one of our chasers during our game against them.  She ended up falling off her broom and had to be uncursed.  I got to do that too," he said proudly.  "Then we creamed them into the ground.  Well, when dear, sweet Hufflepuff played them, there was...an incident or six.  Or seven.  It was so bad that one parent complained to the Ministry."

"A Slytherin parent complaining, who would have guessed," Alicia said dryly.

Katie shook her head.  "I saw that game.  I had no idea why Malfoy was playing with Hufflepuff, I thought he had been resorted or something."  Harry shook his head, smirking at her.  "It was bad, ladies.  We're talking the Slytherins not only snuck wands, they hurled literal curses. Someone hurled a cruciatus at them at one point.  We couldn't tell who, just that it was one of the beaters."

"It was Bronston," Harry told her.  "Anyway, my dear, sweet, kind, nice great-uncle Alex Dumass plays beater.  The Ministry got complained to because Hufflepuff had a professional quality player beating up on the other teams.  Then the game was replayed via someone's omnioculars.  The whole thing.  I was watching and cheering and even I don't know how Alex managed to knock the seeker out of the air with the bludgers."

"Both of them," Tipsy agreed.  "He went to St.  Mungoes."

Harry nodded.  "So did three of the other players.  Uncle Alex is a great man, but he is a possessive man about his Draco snuggly.  Not that Draco minds," he said lightly, grinning at them, "but Alex was offended that not only were they playing that dirty but that they had been shunning Draco so far that year.  So he took it out on the *entire* team."

"The keeper got six broken ribs," Fred noted.

"And a broken ankle from where she fell from the middle goal during a catch," Harry added.  "The seeker had a skull fracture.  Both beaters ended up blocking shots with their bodies to save their teammates.  Their bats were dropped at one point when they ducked the assault.  They literally saved their captain by blocking both bludgers with their body, then the Hufflepuff chasers knocked the captain off anyway.  He got a broken shoulder.  Both beaters took abdominal hits.  The other two chasers tried to forfeit but the Hufflepuff captain was having a lot of fun getting back at the Slytherins who had been invading their house now for a few years.  Dawn stopped them the year before last.  Alex stopped them last year.  They vowed to never do it again, under penalty of him visiting them to prank them.  Not to hurt them, but to prank them."  He smirked at them. "My uncle is a wicked player and with a good team behind him he could damn well take the world cup from anyone.  He and Bear together would kill any and all opposition."

"Dawn's not bad," Oliver noted.  "She needs some training up.  Ron wasn't that skilled himself, Harry."

"I know, and I tried to explain some of it and went over the moves on paper, but I'm not a keeper, Ollie."

"Good point.  You bringing her around soon?"

"Maybe.  She's got next weekend off.  It's a Hogsmeade weekend."

"Sure, let's see if we can work it out some," Oliver said with a wink.  "Ron needs his head unswelled."

"Hey, Ron's a fantastic curse breaker.  He saved her life the other day.  That obsidian choker from the papers landed on her neck."  The girls all winced.  "Yeah, so they had to postpone their trip to Tibet for a few hours while Ron and Alex worked on it down in Snape's classroom.  Ron got the choking one undone long before it could hurt her, even with dragonhide between her neck and it.  Alex got the back ones undone with Flitwick's assistance.  Ron'll be one of the better ones in the business. I'm hoping I can match him someday."

"You will," Katie said, patting him on the thigh.  "No girl, Harry?"  Harry blushed.  "Harry?" she teased.

"No, no girl," he said sadly.  "No time to date."

Oliver snorted.  "That's intentional.  It'll cause a problem if you or I date.  Our fans would tear them apart and cause no end of problems."

"Hey, if Snape could find a woman who likes him enough to put up with him, then I'm sure our Harry can," Alicia said loyally.  "Is it really just us?"

"Just us," Fred agreed happily, turning on the radio.

"In late breaking news, we have news of a small hostage situation in Hogwarts.  It appears that the entire house of Hufflepuff has taken a foreign Ministry official hostage," the reporter said lightly.  "It seems they're fighting over a baby dragon that the school has been gifted with.  Apparently these people have never tried to take something away from a good child."  The radio was shut off with a groan and a head shake.

Harry snickered, shaking his head.   "Poor Dawn is probably trying to stop them and failing miserably."

"Either that or she's in the middle of it egging them on," Tipsy pointed out.   She moaned and held her stomach.  "Ow, kids."  Her husbands lunged to stroke her to make them stop.

"Wow, you guys are good," Angelina said dryly.

"If you had been that good, we would have kept you," Katie agreed.

Oliver snickered.  "I can't see you two being the supporting pranker's wives," he laughed.  "Watching as your spouses went to create in the lab and not come out for days."

"Instead I just go in with them," Tipsy said smugly.

"Yes, love, that's what drew us to you.  You've got a marvelous mind that draws out our naughtier side," George agreed.

"Joxer," Fred snapped.  "Iolaus."  Both babies quit heading for the stairs.  "Harry, door?"

"Sure."  He got up, dragging both kids inside and closing the door.  "Sorry, guys.  I put up a shield."

"We noticed.  That's fine."  Someone in a back bedroom let out a frightened squeak.  "Go get 'San up."  Harry nodded, heading to do that.

"Who's 'San?"

"Cassandra is a friend's daughter," Fred said with a grin for her.  "Snape's apprentice many years ago and his wife, who is Draco's cousin."

George grinned at them. "Don't be embarrassed.  They're at that same stage of pregnancy where everything is an overt play for sex."  He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Cheat on me and I'll have a wife and a husband," Tipsy assured him.  The girls laughed.  "Seriously."

"He'd never do that to you," Fred promised. "I know him better than that. He likes to flirt, love."

"Which is fine, just giving him fair warning," she said happily.  She looked over as Cassandra came toddling out.  "Hey, you're walking," she said happily.  "'Mil didn't tell me that.  Come cuddle, princess?"  Cassandra spit at her and went to pounce Joxer to wrestle with her.

"Maybe you were wrong about the other kids pouncing yours?" Harry suggested dryly.

"Hey, if she chooses Joxer, I'll only go on a binge the night of their honeymoon," Tipsy promised.  "If she chooses Iolaus I might cry but her getting with Joxer would be fine."

"Which one is which?" Katie asked.

"Joxer's the girl," Fred said, pointing at the one trying to get out of her shirt.  "'San, quit stripping my daughter, please.  You're too young for that stuff, dear."

Harry got down to play with the girls, tickling them.  Iolaus, like a loyal twin, came to defend his twin by pouncing Harry and pulling his hair from his back, like he was riding a horsey.  Harry got to his hands and knees, slowly crawling around with him on his back.  Iolaus giggled and kicked him to go faster.  "Iolaus, you have sharp heels, little man, and I can't crawl faster.  I'm a slow, old pony."  He stopped beside Oliver, who plucked the baby off and went back to playing with the girls.

"Sit here with normal guys, Iolaus."  He waved at the girls. "This is their son, Iolaus.   He's a very fast crawler.  Made it out onto the pitch the night I met him before his fathers had realized."

"We had to take up jogging again," George said happily.

"The new two are going to drive us nuts," Fred agreed lightly.

"Then why are we having more?" Tipsy asked.

The twins looked at her.  "Little, tiny, shiny, gold shorts," they reminded her together.  She blushed and kissed each of them.

"That's what got you three in trouble in the first place," Harry called happily.  "'San, please don't pull my hair out!  I'll go bald and no girls would ever date me."  He lifted his head.  "'San, your parents are here."  He opened the door.  "They're up here," he called.  Then he closed the door.  "Guys," he said patiently when he noticed they were kissing again.  "I doubt Oliver wants you to break in his bed for him," he said with a smirk, once they turned to look at him. "Greg and Emilia are here."  Someone knocked on the door so he stretched over to answer it, letting in the proud father.  "No Emilia?"

"She's staring in horror at the sour baby pops, meant to make babies cranky and pucker faced," Greg said, grinning at the twins.  "Thanks for babysitting guys."

"It wasn't a problem," Oliver said with a grin.  "They dropped her off with their two while they went for a quick shag."

"Or four," Tipsy said dryly.  "Face it, Oliver, you've been adopted now.  You might as well be my step-kid."

"Wouldn't that make you a naughty woman for marrying your step-son's friends?" Alicia asked her.  Tipsy burst out laughing and nodded.

Greg shook his head, holding out a hand. "Greg Sanders."

"Oliver Wood," he said happily.  "They've been good as gold.  She just got up from a nap and Joxer there pounced her to try and strip her."

"Joxer," Greg said with a grin down at his goddaughter.  "You've got to wait for that, baby girl."  He patted her on the head.  "You can have 'San back later.  We're going up to the school."

"If you can get in.  Hufflepuff is holding a Brazilian Ministry official and a dragon hostage."

"I'm sensing the oh-so-very-unsubtle hand of Alex," Greg noted.

"Ron actually.  The dragon decided to hatch and adopt him in a muggle marketplace while we were in Rio.  Brazil lets you own dragons and use them in potions so Ron's been fighting to keep him here.  We let Hagrid raise him and Dawn's like his step-mom.  I'm guessing the Brazilian was going to given custody back to the original owner, who didn't know his dragon was missing or had hatched.  So they're all locked in there."

Greg went to the fireplace.  "It's local, Oliver."

"Sure, go ahead. Bring Dawn back if you can."

Greg gave him a look.  "Wearing earplugs?" he joked.

Emilia walked up the stairs.  "Guys, why did you make stuff to make kids act *worse*?  Are you horrible parents?  If you are, my daughter and the new twins are not coming back."

"That's okay, I'm Oliver, their part-time babysitter," he said, holding out a hand.  "You're Malfoy's cousin, right?"

She smiled.  "I am," she agreed, shaking his hand.  "Was 'San good?"

"She was excellent.  She laid right down on my bed to take a nap and dragged the other two with her.  They curled up on each side of her, then she came out to play after the other two had woken.  She pounced Joxer to strip her.  Kids," he warned.  She blocked the surging baby, dragging it back into the house and checking the hallway before closing the door.  "Thanks, I worry about them.  They're really fast."

"That alone makes you a good babysitter in my book," she agreed with a grin.  She looked down at Harry, who was still being swarmed by the kids.  "Having fun?"

"Very," he agreed.  "I'm getting my exposure to kids for the year that way I don't have to have any soon."

"Did you get the catalog, 'Mil?" Tipsy asked, stroking through Fred's hair since he was still on her stomach.

"I did, and it's a great idea, Tipsy.  Penn loved it.  He and Teller are making a *huge* order."  She sat down, staring at the other wizards.  "You wouldn't believe it if I told you.  Greg forgot to pick up the baby."

The other parents all laughed at that.

"It wasn't my fault," Greg complained.  "I had just pulled a ten-hour shift, crashed, gotten up and went back to work.  I apologized greatly."

"Yes, you did," Emilia agreed happily.  "I had Penn watching her while I worked with a new veela that's just come into her powers over there.  Teaching massage techniques so I was a bit tired myself.  We got a nice call from someone in the police department, who recognized Cassandra from running into her at the CSI unit, who called Grissom to ask where the baby was and did he know that Penn had her on stage?"  Greg winced.  "Seriously!  He had a show to do, no one there to babysit her for him or Teller.  He'd had fun with her all day.  She was a smiling and happy baby on the stage.  Until they did that bullet trick, and then it decided to pause in midair while my daughter scowled at it."

"Oh, you marvelous thing," Harry cooed, waving at her.  "Did you manifest already?  Aren't you so special!"  He tickled her, making her giggle.  "Did they do okay?"

"Yeah, they made up an excuse about the baby being too impressionable for that one and moved on.  She was a big hit because they used her in some of the acts.  Explained that the mother was a close, personal friend, who was running a bit late and this one wanted to be a stage magician anyway."  She smiled at her daughter.  "Did you like the stage, 'San?"  Her daughter crawled over until she got near the furniture then she pulled herself up and toddled over happily waving her arms.  "Oh, you precious little adorable creature!" Emilia squealed, hugging her.  "Greg, she's walking!"

"Already?" he asked, sitting up.  He heard a laugh and looked at Snape.  "About time, old guy.  We're coming over.  Can we actually get in?"  Snape nodded.  "Cool.  'San just walked."  He beamed.  "We're bringing a wedding present and a killer story of how our most precious one manifested on stage."  He waved and cut the connection.  "That's enough warning.  We'll be back in a while, guys."

"That's fine," Oliver agreed, grinning at them.  "Wow.  They look really happy."

"They waited nearly seventeen years to get together," Tipsy told him.  "Their first night, they kept *Snape* up from Slytherin's house."   Oliver looked stunned.  "They both were actually.  Greg's a potion's master and an alchemist."

"Wow," he hissed.  "I've never known a Slytherin I would willingly associate with.  All the ones in my year were crap."

"At best," Harry agreed dryly.

"It sounds like Malfoy's mellowed," Katie offered.

"He has," Harry agreed, getting up so he could drag the kid over to pounce her fathers.  "That's mostly a lot of work on Alex's part.  He's got this really great caring and nurturing nature.  He told Draco he could be a snarky little bastard if he wanted, but he was not to be cruel around him."  He shrugged.  "They seem to have worked it out."

"Harry, language," Tipsy said, scowling at him.  "That's another bad habit you picked up off Ron."

"I had it before then.  I had all my cousin's friends trying to kick my bum on a daily basis.  They were very kind to stretch my vocabulary while they did so."

Oliver shook his head.  "You poor thing.  Should we coddle you now, Harry?"

"Try," he said with a mean smirk.  "I can lift you now."

Oliver nodded, looking at the girls.  "He can.  I saw him do it the other day in the weight room."

"Sometimes we have to rescue other cursebreakers," Harry defended.  "Ron can too."

"Ron was a big guy to start with," Katie said gently.  "You're not, Harry."

"Yeah, but I'm about at my max weight limit too," he reported, getting comfortable.  George squealed as Joxer bit him on the side.  "Good one, little girl."

George looked down at his daughter, who was grinning up at him.  Then she cackled and he sighed, hugging her tightly. "No biting, Joxer.  Bite Uncle Harry, not the daddies."  He kissed her on the top of the head, letting her roam free again. "Isn't this a party?"

"I didn't think you wanted to hear about the crying Hufflepuffs," Fred complained as he turned back on the WWN network. Fortunately it was music for now.

The friends caught up and chatted, ignoring it when Tipsy went into the kitchen to find something to nibble on that was sweet and had pickles.  Oliver finally relaxed and everyone noticed, grinning at him.  "Sorry, last time I had a place it got robbed by a fan. She even wore my undies and took pictures in them.  Left some of them on my dresser," he said with clear disgust. "That's why I've been hiding at the training camp."

"If you had told us, you could have stayed with us," Angelina said, swatting his knee.  "Naughty, Oliver, making us worry that way!"

"Sorry, but he couldn't have," Harry said quietly.  "The press would have eaten you and him alive," he told them.  "If either of us even look at girl they're hounded until they do something violent and then it automatically looks bad on us as being like that as well."  He shrugged. "We've seen it happen to the other guys.  That's why the teams manage most of the press for us. I've gotten in trouble for talking to them on my own.  We're both under orders to not date unless we absolutely find the one we want to be with forever, and then to give the coaches some warning."  The girls shuddered.  "It sucks but it's the price we pay for playing the game we love.  They wanted me to stay at the training camp with Oliver, but I pointed out the dozens of fierce females at the house where I am living.  All the Dumass clan will protect me, except maybe Mel and Justinius."  He grinned at Tipsy.  "Did you want to help Sev deal with them or with the Headmaster, Dawn, and Methos?"

"Oh, we're helping both sides," she said happily.  "Luna's gift of incubus blood came in quite handy.  It seems Justinius may be having an infestation of crickets, without many of the bugs.  As soon as he kills one, two or three more are called into the house and eventually he'll run out of crickets and get frogs and toads instead.  That's the starter course," she said proudly.

"You are so wicked," her boys breathed, kissing her.

The three chasers looked at her.  "No wonder they love you that much," Katie said, eyes wide.  Tipsy smirked at them.  "Well, hell, we'll accept you for that much alone.  You make them calm down and be happy people.  We like you until that changes."

"Thanks, ladies.  Can one of you stop Joxer from pulling the tray onto her head?"  Alicia reached down to pluck the baby from danger, putting her into her lap. "Watch out."  Joxer had felt a nice set of breasts and decided she was hungry, so she latched on. Alicia squealed and pulled her off, handing her off.  "Sorry.  Joxer, don't you have a bottle?"

"She went to sleep with it," Oliver said, getting up and handing over Iolaus so he could hunt it down.  He found it dripping on his bed.  He guessed he'd have to change the bed later.  He brought it out, letting Joxer have it.  Of course Iolaus screamed for one too.  "You only brought one," he tried.  He blushed and looked away as Tipsy let him latch on.  "I didn't need to see that," he muttered.  "Why don't you two use my bedroom?  Without the twins coming in to help?" he said, stopping them when they tried to follow.  "No shagging on my bed unless I'm in the middle of it," he told them, giving them looks.

"Sorry, Ollie, we'll invite you over later," Fred said with a grin, hitting him on the arm.

"Oliver, were you aware that the bottle leaked?" Tipsy called.

"Yeah, I'll get the sheets later."

"Too late.  I put on the blue and green set."  Iolaus squealed and she grunted.  "Easy, son.  I'm not a cow."

Oliver snickered, but he was still blushing as he sat down.  "You two suit her," he told the twins.  They beamed and nodded.  "How do I get through the minefield you created outside?"

Fred dug something out of his pocket. "Put it on."  The small silver horn or flask, he couldn't decide which, went around his neck and the sound of clinking went off around them.

"Now play with the bottom," George instructed.  Oliver did and the clinking happened in reverse, including opening the door for him.  "How's that?"

"Good," he said happily.  "Do I have to take it off or anything?"

"No, you must leave it on," George instructed. "That'll get you through both sets of wards, the store's and up here. If you take it off, we'll have to reset it."

"There is no safe place to walk outside as long as you're not here.  When you are or when you're walking there's safer places to walk, but not wholly safe."

"The only safe place for the shop is the front stoop and the back steps."

"We set ours to our wands though," Fred finished.  "We'd add you but that would also give you access to the labs and we don't want you to get hurt, Oliver.  We don't even let the kids in there; Joxer likes to release the bludger we've got in there."

"That's fine," he agreed happily.  "I'm good enough with this, guys. Thanks."

"Welcome," they agreed together, smirking at him.

"An update on the hostage situation has been handed to us," the radio announced.  "It appears that the Hufflepuffs were not the hostages, but the ones taking hostages.  It also appears that the baby dragon this was over is staying," he said cheerfully.  "The boys and girls convinced the nice foreign minister, who was the hostage, that they should keep him.   They promised that their house would always look out for the little baby dragon.  They have released the Minister and the dragon is safely back in their care.  Thank you for your patience and I'm sorry to all the parents we've worried unnecessarily today.  I repeat, the children were not in danger, they were the ones taking hostages.  The few students who found themselves trapped outside of their house did help to resolve the situation.  It was a very peaceful protest, more of a chat session with the Minister than anything else they reported.  We all know Hufflepuffs would never *hurt* anyone so everything should be fine soon."

Harry laughed. "I'm wondering if Dawn was inside or outside."  He looked at Oliver.  "Weren't you?"

"What is it with you guys and trouble?" Alicia said in awe.

"Bill told us that a natural cursebreaker, one destined to be great, will always have trouble attracted to them," George explained.

"He said he used to wonder if we'd become ones," Fred added, grinning at them.

"So, the greater the trouble, the greater the breaker?" Angelina asked.  The twins nodded.

Alicia looked at Harry.  "So you and Ron are destined to be the top of the top?" she asked.

"Believe it or not, Uncle Alex was worse," he said fondly.  "He came in as the dueling master of his generation.  With a sword, weapon, or wand.  Whenever there was a duel he was sent to watch over them.   Apparently half of his first year was spent defending himself.  Then the rest of his six and a half years was spent refereeing, sticking up for girls who were insulted by the boys and who didn't have a man of their own, things like that."

"Not to mention Harry said that he was so good even back then that the league sent him *women* to tempt him to play pro instead of becoming a curse breaker."

Harry nodded.  "He said they did.  Gifts of brooms and expensive liquors, women, and he had songs written about him. Those got other women to apply to Hogwarts.  Then he got a veela of his own who he loved, but she died, then the family mostly died, and he moved on.  He said he's only ever lost one duel and that was a forfeit because she was a girl.  She destroyed the inn around them because he wouldn't fight her; he said he told her to come back when she was old enough to be out that late without a chaperone."

"He also apparently slept with a good half of the world," George said dryly.  "Tipsy said during his earlier days he was wenching his way through each and every job."

"Draco once said that he was going to take the memory of all his other lovers out of his head.  Then someone asked him if he ever kept a list of names, for reference or in case something happened.   He pulled out books like phone books for the muggles," Fred said in awe.

George nodded.  "Small type so you had to use a magnifying glass.  Names, what city he met them in, and a brief description based on a code he had worked out for hair and eye color, plump or thin, and how big chested they were."

"The sad thing is he said he never went to the same well twice," Harry sighed.  "That and he banged McGonagall when she was a younger girl.  They went to school together before he was deaged."  Oliver and the girls all gaped.  "Yeah, apparently she was one hot chick in her day," Harry said with a shrug.  "I couldn't imagine it, but then again he seemed to have wonderful taste most of the time."  He gave the twins a long look.  "You know what?  That just brought up a thought.  Your mother blushed every single time she ran into Alex for the first six months.  I'm wondering why.  Was she embarrassed by his free ways or was there something else?"

"Harry, please retract that sickening thought before we turn you into dog food," George said firmly.

"Mum said she didn't always date dad," Fred offered.  "But that doesn't mean anything.  You know how our mum gets about sluts and loose women.  I'm sure she's the same way about loose men.  Alex put a whole new level of definition on the term you know."

"I do, that's why I was wondering," Harry admitted. "That could explain Bill."

"Nah.  The parents were together then," Fred assured him.  He nudged George.  "Right?"

"Right," George agreed.  "Harry, dirty thoughts out of your head for a bit please?  If you do, we'll help you find a wonderful young woman so you can turn into Draco."

"Why would I want to be blond?"

"Okay, then we'll turn you into Ron with his girl.  It's not like those two don't get just as much as we do, and there's two of us," George pointed out.

Harry giggled, shaking his head. "You have no idea, guys.  Really."  They gaped at him. "Remember, she's our age minus a year."

"Oh, bloody hell," Fred said in awe.  "Is that part of being a curse breaker too?  Bill never seems to be able to sit straight when we see him."

"I always thought that Bill was gay," Oliver noted seriously.  "He never seemed to want to look at the girls from what I remember of him when I was younger."

"No, Bill likes the ladies," Fred assured him.

"We're not sure about *Charlie*," George offered, "but we know Bill likes girls.  He's always got at least one on the side somewhere.  Do you realize what'll happen if mum finds out?"

"We'll be making statements to the press how it was temporary insanity and she really loves us all?" Fred suggested.  "After she kills him."

"She'd only kill him if there were grandchildren," Harry pointed out gently.  "Otherwise she'd just pout and sulk until he brought her around for a *long* visit and they talked about grandkids.  Now, Ron she'll kill at even the merest hint of a grandchild.  Engaged or not."

"Can you really imagine a baby between those two?" Tipsy asked from the bedroom doorway.  Harry considered it then nodded.  "How?"

"Easy.  It'll either be the best cursebreaker ever, or it'll be the next generation of Luna, or possibly a slayer," he admitted.  Everyone blinked at him.  "Dawn's sister, sounding familiar?" he suggested with a grin.

"So she's a trouble magnet too?" Katie asked hesitantly.  Everyone in the room nodded.  "You don't think that they'll have a kid like Percy, in retaliation for being like that?"

"If they do, I get to laugh," Harry assured her with a bright grin.  The others laughed at him. "He promised I could."

"I can just imagine Ron's pep talk on the way to the platform," George groaned.

"Now, you've got my looks and your mum's hair, so you'll be the studliest little nerd in the school," Fred imitated.  Everyone cracked at that.

"You mean he'll be one of the rare Weasley Hufflepuffs?" Katie teased.

"Or the even more elusive Weasley Slytherin," George agreed dryly.  "Dawn was borderline Gryff and Hufflepuff, but she's got sneaking and plotting down to an artform.   That's why Draco likes her so much."

"Plus, Ron's not exactly the brightest and Dawn's not a genius either.  She's smart, but she's not exactly a Ravenclaw in the making," Fred added.  "I love the girl, but she's power, not brains.  Like Ron's power and strategy, not brains."

"Like Alex is," Harry agreed.  "Or I am."  He smirked at the twins.  "You do know Alex wrote books, right?"  They looked stunned.  "Sixteen of them on the shelves back at the house so I'm guessing there's at least one he hates.  Mostly on curse breaking but some on some specific curses and a hypothetical one.  That one I want to make work.  It'll shift dimensions.  He worked on that with some arithmancy nerd guy."

"Jorepson.  It was quoted in our senior level book," Angelina agreed.  "It was supposed to be quite precise.  Besides, he's not as bad as some of the nerds were.  I've read worse books."

Harry nodded.  "I thought his other ones were pretty neat, if a bit dry.  Like most academic works, they tend to be a little bit boring and plodding.  He feels the same way.  Says they're the best way to ensure he gets a nap outside of Draco."

The girls giggled, shaking their heads.  "I can't see him that way," Katie told him.  "I wish I could, but I can't.  He used to be too mean and nasty for words and he's suddenly changed?"

"We got his free of his father. Alex demanded him in reparation for Lucius trying for me and the Weasleys.  Draco wasn't pleased at first but then Alex talked himself up a bit more and made some generalized rules and set out some goals, and let Draco be whoever he wanted to be without pushing him to do anything.  So, suddenly we have a human Malfoy with a control problem and consort veela powers that came out each and every time he got frustrated.  It made for a few interesting months in there until Alex finally relented and decided to let him pick his time and place."  Harry shifted some, putting his feet up on the coffeetable too until Oliver gave him an odd look.  He put them back down with a grin.  "Sorry, forgetting I'm not at home."  He shifted to look at the ladies.  "Generally, Draco's still a snotty asshole."

"Harry, I'm a parent, I can ground you," George reminded.

"They're getting to the age where they'll ape anything and I'd rather not have that one," Fred agreed.

"We really should keep Draco away from them then," George told him.  "He still has the worst timing with some phrases, especially about the stupid and unpure."

"Hmm.  True," Fred agreed.  "We'll warn him when he gets back."

"If you do, he'll teach the kids all those words to spite you," Harry warned.  "Let Ron watch them for a day and then have him watch them.  Let's see what they learn off Ron first."

"Harry, again, we'd rather not have the kids swearing at their tender ages."

"But it'd prove the point."

"Yes, but it'd be impossible to cure," Oliver told him, giving him a smug look.  "Teach him one word, one that embarrassed the heck out of Malfoy."

"That's one thing, never ever call him by his old name.  He will, and has, slugged someone over that," Harry warned.  "He goes by both names together or by Dumass alone.  Not Malfoy.  He hated his father with every bone in his body."  Oliver looked stunned.  "He didn't have much choice you know.  He got more tolerable just because he didn't have Lucius there to order him around anymore."  He scratched the back of his neck.  "Who's over my shoulder watching us?"

Oliver looked then grinned and waved.  "A reporter."

"Oh, goodie," Fred said, getting up to close the curtain.  He flipped the guy off before doing so, that salute showing as he pulled down the shade.  "There, I feel better now."  He sat down with a wicked grin for Harry.  "Feel up to testing some stuff for us?"

"It depends, will it make my drug test go wonky before the game next week?" Harry asked.

Both twins winced. "Before each game?"  Harry nodded.  "Have you eaten any of the specially treated peppermint mice?"

"No, not in months.  I've been good actually," Harry said with a grin.

"I have and I shared part of one," Oliver asked.  The twins groaned.  "What?  We can declare things!"

"It was treated with that new dust, the one they're trying to ban now," George told him.  "They dusted them at the factory, long before we got them.  We've put out an ad in the Daily Prophet about that, and have had a few returned.  You'll need to take the ad in with you and hand it over.  There's every chance that the test will pick it up."

"What happens is you do test positive for something?" Katie asked.

"We get banned until we do another test and if it comes back positive we're banned for a year, up to three for the serious muggle drugs or steroids," Harry told her.  "They're real strict too.  I heard of one guy who got it for eating too much chocolate."

"Man, Ron would hate that," Alicia said, shaking her head.  "Hopefully it'll be okay.  If you can declare it, it should be fine."

"I hope so," Oliver said worriedly.  "I can face fines too, on top of the other stuff."

"The makers dusted it, not us," George reminded him.

"We're found a few other things so bring the whole ad into your coach and tell him you had one of them.  It went out last week on Thursday so it was in all that weekend's I think."

"If he has any questions about it, tell him to call Tipsy," George added.  "She's been handling this for us.  The wife's amazing.  She should have a staff but she does it all herself.  She's got a law degree too you know.  Mostly patent stuff but definitely worthwhile to us."

"To all of us," Harry reminded them.  "Did she get my card for that?"  They nodded.  "Cool.  I like that."  He looked at Oliver, then at the door as it was knocked on.  "What?"

"Let me in, please?" Greg called.  "'San's just gotten sick again."

Oliver hopped up and let him in, taking the baby back to the bathroom to help him.  "Come on, pumpkin, what's wrong with your bellies?" he cooed.

"She tried to lick the baby dragon," Dawn called as she walked in. "Hi.  I'm Dawn."  She shook the women's hands. "You're the pretty ones from Harry's quidditch pictures."  They giggled and nodded.  "Coolness."  She flopped down beside Harry.  "Before you say it, I was outside with Luna when they did it.  I walked in to talk them all down and got them to explain what they were thinking to the nice Ministry official.  She agreed that it was a workable solution and that if we couldn't keep Keelian for whatever reason it should go to a preserve because she hates potions masters."  She patted him on the thigh.  "How is Ron?  Snape said something about some soldiers?"

"I haven't thought to check, I was giving them some time to make sure they had finished with the fight," Harry admitted, touching the tattoo on his arm, sending it directly to Ron, and accidently to Methos, who sent up a complaint about being woken up from his nap.  So he sent an apology and thought harder at Ron, making him giggle.  "He says he's fine.  Draco and Alex appeared, literally, as the soldiers came back.  They tried something but they charmed them all to ignorance and ignoring them."  He let go of his arm. "Ron said to kiss you but I'm not risking his wrath that way."

Dawn smiled and kissed him on the cheek.  "There, that's good enough," she decided.  "He'll be back in about three weeks, I can jump his sexy bod then."  She smiled at Tipsy as she came out.  "Oooh, did you get hungry," she cooed, taking the baby to hold.  "Yes, it's the Auntie Dawnie," she said, rubbing noses with the baby.  "How are you today, pumpkin?  You should talk to the Cassandra.  She licked the dragon and got really sick."

Tipsy went to the bathroom to help.  "Let me, Oliver.  I'm great at getting sick stuff off babies and shirts.  Ours had the worst case of regurge for the first few weeks."  He nodded, letting her have the baby.  "Oh, you are under all the bubbles," she said happily when the baby patted at her.  "I almost didn't see you, 'San."

"Funny," Oliver chided.  "Give it here, mate, I've got a washer."

"You sure? I can easily take it home with me."

"No problems.  Give."  Greg handed over the shirt.  "I'll toss it in with her stuff."  He took the baby's clothes to his washer and tossed them inside, then turned it on.  He loved the mugglefied and magiced washers and dryers he had found.  He walked back into the living room, smiling as Emilia came in.  "He and Tipsy are trying to get her clean.  Their stuff's in the washer if you wanted to toss stuff in."

"No, I'm good.  He was holding her when she lunged to suck on the dragon's ear.  Fortunately it wasn't Luna's hellhound puppy."  She went to help her daughter, coming out with a clean daughter, a best friend, and a semi-dry husband who was toweling off.  "We're sorry to barge in this way, Oliver."

"Eeh, if Tipsy's family and you're her family, then we're all related," he said happily. "I can never have too many friends."

"Good boy," she said, pinching his cheek.  "Now all we need to do is to find you and Harry nice girls from among the kids of our friends.  Unless you like older women, because I do know a few," she admitted with a grin.

He laughed, but shook his head. "Someone near my own age, please. Has to like quidditch like I do and want to watch me play."

"Sure.  I'll keep that in mind.  Juliette's daughter only likes girls or else I would have set her up with Harry already."

"I tried, but we have the exact same taste in women, Emilia.  I wanted to get between them and have them both snuggle and comfort me.  That's what I want, either one of them."

Emilia looked thoughtful.  "I do know someone," she admitted.  "I'll have to talk to her mom, see if she's doing much right now."  She sat down next to Oliver, giving him a hug.  "You're very nice, Oliver."

"Thanks," he said with a blush.

"Ah.  That's what I was waiting for," she said with a giggle.

"She's a consort veela, their entire natures are teasing," Greg said tolerantly.  "One of these days though I'm going to have to spank her for it.  Or else pout and refuse to sleep in the same room."  His wife pouted at him.  "He's young enough to be our kid, Emilia!"

"Hey, he's older than my two," Tipsy reminded him.

"Yeah, but you went for guys like you.  She's going for looks.  She's not that into quidditch."  Oliver pouted at her.

"That can change," she offered lightly.

"Excuse the scary pregnant woman, guys.   She did this the last time too.  It's some veela switch."

"Then let's hope Draco never gets pregnant," Harry said dryly, cracking Tipsy and Emilia up.  "Here, Oliver, come sit with me and I'll protect you."  Oliver shifted over and Greg sat next to his wife.  "Remember, last time you had to rescue him from Catherine's couch."

"Oh, I do," she said, giving her husband a 'sorry' look.  "Sorry, pookie."

He kissed her gently. "I understand, 'Mil.  I've seen it before."  He used his wand to slam the door before any of the kids could make it near there, earning baby pouts and scowls.  "Tough, deal with it and move on.  Play with each other."

"Or pounce each other," Tipsy said as Cassandra pounced Joxer again. "She's very good at that.  Maybe she should have been a Tigger."

"We thought about it with the way she was bouncing up and down inside me, but then we figured someone would pick on her because of it," Emilia shared.  "Maybe this time."

"There will be no Junior," Greg said firmly.  "No second, no junior, nothing like that."

"Yes, dear," she said sadly.  "That means I can't have a son just like you."

"Dear, you will so have a son just like me.  Like 'San, I'll have him in the lab with me within days of being born.  You know she's already getting a good feel for potions.  Even though sometimes she comes in to chew on my cauldron."

"I told you she was anemic," Emilia retorted with a grin.

"It's pewter, dear, not iron."

"Then it's got to be some other mineral she's lacking."

"I told the pediatrician you said that and he said it might be.  That's why he did the extra bloodwork," he said patiently.  He kissed her again. "Take a nap, 'Mil, you need one."

"Fine, be that way," she sighed, leaning on his shoulder. "Sorry if I snore, but he's right.  Half of this silliness is me needing a nap.  How's the troops in Tibet?"

"Better now that they've obliviated the local army guys," Harry said with a grin.  "Want my cloak as a blankie?"

"No, I'm good," she promised, resting against her husband's side.   She closed her eyes and let him stroke her back until she fell asleep.

Greg grinned.  "Sorry," he said quietly.  "Give her ten minutes and we'll be able to shout without waking her."

Oliver pointed at the hallway.  "Bedroom?"

Greg shook his head. "I'd rather have her close by.  The baby's been fussy recently.  The other's a calm little darling."  He grinned at the first snore.  "Okay, it's fine," he said in his normal voice.  "Hey, Harry, where are they?"

"Halfway to the first village.  They had to take some time out to come back and threaten Snape and Holly to treat each other well.   You guys missed the torture...I mean serenading.  It was a lot of fun to torture Snape.  He's vowed that vengeance will be his."

Tipsy nodded.  "He said he'll be coming by to pick up stuff for that," she noted.

"We'll have to make sure he only gets harmless things," Fred offered.

George smirked.  "When it comes time to do their blessings for their kids, can we wish a kid like Harry on them?  Strong, talented, and slightly smart?"  Harry picked up a nibble and tossed it at him.  "Hey!"

Harry gave him a long look.  "I'll have you know I'm quite smart when I'm interested.  Just because I wasn't interested in potions or many pranks doesn't make me dumb, it makes me have situational genius.  Wish that on his kid."

"Oh, I don't know.  Wishing a kid to be as powerful as you are would give him a thrill," Greg said with a grin.  "Of course, as soon as he found out he'd kill us all."   The other Banes in the room nodded.

"Blessing?" Katie asked.

"Blessing ceremonies.  It's an older tradition but our group upholds it at Alex's insistence.  He said his whole family still does it and look at him, Holly, and Harry."

"Hey, that rhymed, Tipsy, good job," Dawn told her with a grin.  She picked up some food and threw it at her, but Dawn caught it in her mouth.  "Thanks, needed that."  She swallowed then leaned closer to Harry's side to look at Oliver.  "If I begged and pleaded, would you come back to the school to run a short, maybe a Sunday, class on how to be a decent keeper?  Gryffindor's new one sucks.  I'm the only one from last year and they're mostly new teams."  Oliver whimpered. "Just a few hours?"

"If I can arrange it I will," he promised.  He grinned at her.  "That's a good idea.  We might be able to do that anyway.  It would increase the good nature of some players and take off some of the bully reputations.  Bear's a great teacher.  He'll make a great coach."

"You did really good with me," Harry reminded him.  "You and Bear together would make a fantastic coaching team.  You've got the drive and he's got the cushioning when you want to be blunt."  Oliver beamed at him, that was one hell of a compliment in his book.  "It might work.  The coach probably would go for it.  You and I were both graduates.  One of the under-coaches was.  One of our chasers was I think."

"Yeah, he went many years ago, but he's our backup chaser now," Oliver reminded him.  "He's a bit bitter because he's slowing down."  He looked at the group.  "There's the big open tryout next week," he offered.  "Girls are allowed and so are older players."

"I tried to get Draco to go but he didn't think he wanted to be that far away from Alex," Harry told him.  "He was bored but then he started doing the field potion stuff," he said with a look at Greg.  "Thank you, he's quit moping and distracting Alex all the time.  Now he's working instead of sitting in Alex's lap while he works."

Greg grinned at him.  "Always happy to help."  His daughter toddled over and crawled into his lap.  "Hello, 'San.  Tired of playing with Joxer and Iolaus?"  She babbled at him and tugged on his shirt. "What?"

"I think she wants your shirt," Oliver told him.  "My sister was the same way when she was younger."

"Sister?"

"She's not magical, Potter."

"I'm sorry."  He gave him an odd look.  "You know, there's a theory going around Gringott's that the kids with one person in their family and then the rest aren't, that there's actually some sort of block.  That it's like a latent ability and that some of them will break through with the right incentive."

Oliver considered it.  "Maybe," he agreed.  "It's interesting to think about.  What are they doing with it?"

"Not a clue," Harry admitted. "All I know is that I heard some of the goblins chatting about it as they walked back to the break room while we were handing in stuff a few weeks back."

"If that's true, then we could conceivably open them up," Tipsy noted quietly.  "That would make for a lot of happy parents."

"It would be tampering with nature," Greg told her.  "It'd be genetic tampering most likely and it's dangerous and ethically unclear for most people."

"Even if you and 'Mil had a kid who was a squib?"

"Even if," Greg agreed.  "I'd love it no less and no more than the others.  I'll love all my kids, even if they turn evil I'll still love them.  I may hate what they do, but I'm still going to be their parent."

"Damn it, if I die can I come back as one of your kids, Greg?" Harry asked.  Greg gave him a long look. "It's always a possibility in my mind.  There's still some out there who hate me because I took away their hero."

"Good point," Greg agreed.  "If that happened, we'd welcome you as the new kid.  Even 'Mil would and she said you should have been supported and cuddled like every other kid.  She still wants to kick your aunt and uncle's butts."

"Too late," Harry said happily.  "They're gone now."

"You're a bit too cheerful about that," Oliver pointed out.

Harry looked at him. "Oliver, if you had lived it, you'd feel the same way," he assured him lightly.  "Trust me.  Until then, you can't know what I went through every single day of my life with them."  He shifted up to get something to stuff into his mouth. "Come on, guys, I didn't cook it."  Everyone grabbed some food, changing subjects back to happier things, mostly the new school teams.

Dawn whispered in his ear. "I understand, Harry.  I support you."  He relaxed and grinned at her.  She pinched him on the cheek.  "But you're still not allowed to play with my clothes ever again. You mixed them up and I couldn't find my sequined top this morning."  She looked over at Emilia, who was smiling. "Happy dreams?"  Greg grinned and nodded. "Good.  She needs some.  She's having twins, that means it'll make her a lot like Molly.  Or like Tipsy possibly."

"No we were special cases," Fred assured her.  "We drove mum that way because of who and what we are.  Not because of some special twin thing."

"Sure," Dawn said, nodding.  "Because no other twins pull that stuff."  They smirked at her.  "Tipsy?"

"I'm a fraternal twin," she pointed out.  "Besides, I hate my twin sister.  I'd like to smack her in the head a few times until she joins reality.  I can't wait to see the note after this announcement.  Last time she sent a note about being pathetic."

"Love, where does your sister live again?" George asked.  "I'd like to introduce myself."

She pinched him on the cheek.  "Wait until she shows up.  She always does," she promised.

"If and when, I want ringside tickets," Harry suggested.  "We'll even bring pom-poms and do our best to cheer you on."

"I heard your sister was boil on the bum of humanity," Dawn told her.  "I can let you borrow my sister, maybe she'll snack on her or something."

"No, then she might turn and we'd all be in trouble from the Puritan wannabe."  Her boys shuddered so she kissed them both gently.

"'Scuse us, Oliver, but we've got to run home for a few minutes," Fred said, standing up and pulling his wife with him.  "Be right back, in about a half hour.  Don't end the party without us."  They apparated out, waking Emilia slightly but Greg helped her go back to sleep soon enough.

"You've really got to excuse them.  Molly said all pregnancies have that spot," Dawn told the others.  "They're just like that most of the time though."

"At least it wasn't in the closet at school," Greg taunted.

"Yeah, but no one ever sent your woman panties with a lipstick print in the center of the used portion," Dawn retorted.  "Someone did my guy and I staked my claim quite firmly in that closet, thank you."  She beamed at him.

"Someone sent Ron panties?" Greg asked.

Harry smirked at him.  "No, a lot of women sent Ron panties," he assured him.  "Right after that interview to clear up the rumors.  Ron got more mail than I did daily there for the longest time."

"Until the 'hunt the Harry' incident," Dawn reminded him.

"Oh, yes, until every girl who knew me pointed out that I did like girls, but I was shy.  That got me hunted through the school."  He looked at the girls.  "You would have laughed.   It was like I was the last piece of chocolate on the face of the earth by the way some of those girls looked at me.  I almost made it into the Chamber, but some of the Slytherins caught me and drug me down to their first years' dorm for the girls.  They're so far down they're underground.  They also had some very ...weird ideas of what to do with me.  By the time they got me out I was so traumatized I clung to Snape crying to be set free."  He gave Dawn's knee a squeeze.  "She took me down into the chamber to get me calmed back down.  The rest of the girls in the school beat up the Slytherin females for wanting to hurt me and for stealing my wand."

"They also set guards in the bathroom in case you came back up," Dawn reminded him.

"Yeah, that's true.  There were a few more of them, but nothing like the first one."

"One during Des' funeral," Dawn said bitterly.  "I would have liked to have stomped some of those creatures flat."

"Me too," Harry soothed.  "Calm down, you're glowing again."  She muted her aura and grinned at him.  "Good job, Dawn."  He ruffled her hair.  "Before anyone asks, I'm her big brother figure and that's it.  We'd never get on like that."

Oliver snickered. "I'm sure but you two are very close."

"Well, yeah," she said sarcastically.  "Almost all my other friends are gone, my lover's gone, my remaining family is thousands of miles away in each direction.  Of course I'm leaning on Harry.  I'll do it even more next year when Ginny and Luna leave me there by myself, older than my year and miserable."

"There's an equivalency," Katie pointed out gently.  "Prove you know four subjects out of the major seven or eight."

"I'll have to ask Alex about that," she said happily.  "Thanks.  That's a good idea.  Then I can go work for real while Harry plays his games, until he's tired of the fans and then we get him."

Harry gave her another gentle pat.  "I'm sure it'll all work out," he promised. He smiled at the others.  "Think Emilia was joking about finding me a woman?" They shook their heads, smirking at him.  "Good, 'cause I could use one now and then.  Especially if she liked to help me polish my broom and work with me on that technique for matching flying that Alex taught us."

"He taught you what?" Oliver asked.

"How to match ourselves in flight," Dawn told him. "Like the big, flying dragons do to mate."  Everyone there whimpered slightly.  "Sorry, was it supposed to be a secret?"

"No, most wizards do like Draco did once and put someone in front of them on the broom," he assured her.  "You and Ron matched nearly perfectly and Alex and Draco were sexy and dangerous as they zipped and zagged to tease each other.   I was fully impressed with them."

"Me too," Dawn agreed.  "I thought you flew really well but you were kinda at odds with Draco."

"That's just a long-standing argument," he said with a grin.  "It'll never happen between us.  I hate him most of the time."

"I can understand that," she offered, snuggling back into his side.  "I feel really cold right now."

"I don't know why, but I've got a chill too," Harry agreed.  He looked behind him, then pushed her down and walked around to peek out.  "Wonderful.  Ollie, female stalker person with a rifle?"

"Get her, Harry," Dawn pleaded.  "I don't need to be shot today."

Harry pulled his wand and pointed it at where he could see her, saying something under his breath as his wand waved a bit.  She cried out and went stiff, dropping the gun onto the roof beside her.  He put up the shade and looked around, spotting the reporter, so he opened the window and whistled, then pointed at the woman.  "She's got a weapon," he called down.  He looked stunned, but hurried up there to help out. It would be a fantastic story!  Harry pulled back inside, looking at the others as he closed the shade again.  "I love fans," he told Oliver.  "Don't you?"

"Makes the game worthwhile," Oliver agreed dryly.

***

Stanley Kowalski looked at his partners, then at the beast across from them that they had been called to track down since Benny was so good at that.  It was Vecchio who asked the pertinent question however.  "I'm not up on my fantasy creatures, but isn't that a dragon?" Vecchio asked.

Benny Fraser nodded.  "It's actually an ice dragon, Ray.  It appears to be trying to cool down the surrounding areas so it can form an ice nest and lay eggs."

"Why would an ice dragon be around here?" Stan asked.  "It's pretty and all, but Chicago in September is horrible."

"It's probably migrated due to the encroachment of humans onto their native habitat.  You see it all the time with other animals, why not dragons.  Most likely, with their probable habitat, it was some oil company.  Someone should tell them what they're doing."

Vecchio could see his best friend going up to an oil drilling site and trying to reason with them, then getting shot.  He looked at Kowalski.  "Do you see any possible alternative to taking them on?"

Stanley pointed at the kids in robes.  "Looks like they know what they're doing, but isn't Stupify a stunning thing?"

"It is," Benny said, going down to talk to them.  "Excuse me," he told the teacher.  "You seem to be trying to kill a protected beast, even in this country."  She spun to look at him, mouth open.  "I do not believe that is wise. You're only making her more upset. There's every chance she'll attack your students soon."

"Who are you?  There's no Ministry in the US!"

"No, ma'am, I'm a Mountie," he said with a proud smile.  He ignored the kids mumbling that Mounties were mythical creatures. "I have had to work with others of your kind before however.  I am aware of the lack of appropriate watchdog agencies within this country, but you must realize that even the US has signed a treaty to save these incredibly rare beasts.  Since there's less than five hundred of them left."

"What would you suggest instead?" she demanded.

"How about you try putting it to sleep?" Stanley suggested as he came down to join them.  "She just got the other group of people in robes."

"You are?"

"Chicago PD," he said, pulling his badge.   "I know a few like you guys."  He looked up at the dragon and Benny got him out of the way.  He looked back at Vecchio, who was now frozen, then at Benny.  "Blair?" he suggested.

"Blair," Benny agreed readily once he saw the teacher be frozen.  They ducked out of the way and used his cellphone to call their buddy, wherever he might be in the world this time.

"Blair, buddy, it's Stan," Stanley said with a grin. "Yeah, it's been a good few months.  At least until the ice dragon just showed up.  Yeah, I said ice dragon.  No, I'm at home. Because it's shooting ice with its breath and Benny said it's an ice dragon that was probably shoved out by an oil company or something. No, it got the locals.  Is there anyone who deals with ice dragons over here?"  He grinned.  "Thanks, man.  Hey, anytime. I've got a couch.  Vecchio's Ma's got a whole spare room too.  No, he's presently frozen. Sure.  We'll wait here.  Thanks, Blair."  He hung up and looked at Benny.  "We've got to clear the area.  Call Welsh," he said, handing over the phone. "I'm going to try to move Vecchio out of the way of another blast."  He jogged over to his partner's frozen body, dragging him out of the way by his arms, being careful in case he'd break.

***

Greg stormed onto the scene, his ID already on his belt.  He looked at Philip, who was giving him a tolerant smile.  "This is the third one in the US this year and the second I've been involved in helping handle.  Someone around here needs to start dealing with dragons.  Set up a preserve or something!"

"Sure they do," Philip agreed.  "Where?"

"Do I look like I care?" Greg shouted.  "This is getting to be a bit too much.  Where is a dragon tamer when you need one?"

"You whined?" Charlie said as he appeared.  He dropped the portkey, shaking out his hand.  "Alex makes those really strong."

"Usually," Philip agreed.  "He said someone should have a preserve over here."

"There's one in Canada, but they're full," he offered.  "Get on the Canadians to expand it."  He looked up at the big dragon.  "Shit, she's nesting.  We may have to move the whole building for a few minutes."

Greg gave him a look, then pointed at the large skyscraper.  "That's about a hundred stories of steel, glass, paint, furniture, and probably at least a few people.  Not even Alex is that good."  Charlie frowned at him.  "This is the third one this year and the second one I've had to deal with.  I'm a potions person, guys."

"Good point," Philip agreed.  "Go unfreeze people then."  He grinned as Greg hurried to do the easy job.  "Now that he's gone, can we move her?"

"I have not a damn clue," Charlie admitted.  "If she's already laying eggs, we'll have to take the nest too or she'll try to come back for it thinking she's left an egg or three."

"Can we make the nest unstable, catch any and all eggs, then move them all?" Benny suggested helpfully.  Charlie looked at him oddly now. "Sorry, Constable Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted Police."  He held out a hand with a smile.

Charlie shook it.  "Friend of Blair's?"  He nodded with that same smile.  "Figures.  He always picks the odd ones.  Did any of the kids call you a myth?  In our world you guys are."

"I did have one and I had to refute it because I do clearly exist," he explained.  "She's still not too sure she didn't get hit by a stray curse."

"Yeah, she would be," Charlie agreed, looking up at the nest again.  The female up there let out a bellow and the first egg came out.  "Hell," he said bitterly.  "We can't move the eggs by magic."

"The zoo has a cold area," Benny offered.

"Zoos are nasty, unhealthy places to store animals for them to be gaped at like they're creatures," Charlie retorted.  "Or they're places where people do experiments.  We don't let our precious ones go near those places."

"That's fine as well," Benny agreed.

"We can't leave her there, she's a danger to the public," Philip pointed out.

"I usually deal with steamers and smokers, guys," Charlie reminded them. "I've only run into people who deal with ice dragons.  Constable, do you know the number for the Ministry up in your neck of the woods?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," he admitted, handing it over. "It's under maintenance in our directory listings.  Called the Ministry for Internal Affairs.  They can easily transfer you."

"Thanks, man," Charlie said, walking away with Philip's cellphone to call them.  "Hi, my name is Charlie Weasley.  I'm presently in Chicago with an ice dragon.  Please, if you wouldn't mind.  The locals here and I don't have a clue, plus the local school tried to do stunning spells so they were frozen. She's laying eggs on top of a skyscraper."  He hummed along with the catchy hold music, stopping when the other end was picked up.  "Sorry, catchy music there.  I'm Charlie Weasley...."  He smiled. "Chicago.  Constable, what's the exact location?"

"112 East Twelfth street," he replied quickly.

"Thanks.  112 East Twelfth street.  No, we've got one of your constables here.  Fraser.   Yeah, he did find the number.  Why?"  He grinned at the man.  "At least he only gives it to us," he pointed out.   "Yeah, we've cleared the area.  We've put around that it was a movie promo stunt that went wrong.  One of the local muggle cops said so.  He knows Sandburg, which is who called me and Sanders."  He beamed. "Even better.  Thanks."  He hung up and handed the phone back.  "Thanks, Philip.  How are you enjoying the single life?"

"Women no longer see the collar and go limp next to me," he told him happily.  "No more throwing themselves at my feet or anything."

"Congratulations, Philip," Charlie said happily.  "Ron said you did a bang-up job teaching Runes last year.  You still going?"  Philip nodded.  "Good on you then.  The school could use some new blood."

"Did you hear?  Professor Snape just married his girlfriend Holly."

"Really?"

"Really.  Dumbledore tricked him into it," he said fondly.  "Made sure the contract had kids included too."  Charlie burst out in giggles.  "Exactly," he agreed.  He smiled as someone popped in.  "We're over here," he said, waving the woman over.  "I'm Philip Callaghan.  This is Charlie Weasley and Constable Fraser."

"Thank you for giving them our number, Constable.  In the future, try not to give it out so often?" she said bitterly.

"I've only given it to the British Ministry and these ones," he protested.  "Plus Dr. Sandburg I believe."

"Yes, we've heard from all those sources, plus the American military.  Whos bright idea was that?"

"They've got one of those gate thingies going," Charlie told her.  "I know an auror who's going back and forth to encourage the other beings to leave us alone."

"Yes, we've seen Tonks too.  If the universe thinks we're all like her, they'll definitely leave us alone."

"They were thinking about asking Alex Dumass to go with her," Charlie said brightly.

The woman paused, shuddered, then winced.  "No, that would be bad.  Very, very bad.  Thank someone for stopping that idea."

"He did," he assured her.  He looked up as the dragon let out another bellow.  "That's egg number three."

"We've got special moving equipment coming," she said calmly.  "It's disguised as a moving truck."  She looked up.  "How will we move the eggs without magic?"

"We could roll them out and have something catch them," Benny offered.

"They're very fragile crystal," Philip told him.  "It'd break and they're seriously endangered."

"We've got to do something, she can't stay here," Greg pointed out as he walked back over.  "Hey, Stanley."  He grinned.  "Blair said to give you a hug but I don't want hit so I won't do that, and he said to smack you around some.  He was in the middle of talking a girl up."

"I keep telling him I've got a couch he can stay on," Stan said with a grin.  "So, you're still a CSI?"

Greg nodded.  "DNA tech and learning to do field work."

"Good.  Wanna switch cities?"

"I like my house, man.  Otherwise I might.  The desert's really pretty but I'm getting ready to have kids two and three and the wife complains about the heat."  Stan happily thumped him on the back.

"How do all you guys know Sandburg?" the Canadian official asked.

"Pinkerton went belly up during a power struggle so we got switched to Hogwarts," Greg told her.  "He was in the same year as we were.  My wife and Philip were both native."

"Oh, that fiasco brought more trouble," she said grimly.  "Good to know. Where do you work?"

"Vegas."

"Even better.  Can you maybe smack Penn around a bit for being a smug bastard?"

"I'll ask him and see if he likes it like that," he said with a grin.  "My wife has him babysit our present one."  She went stiff.  "Yeah, Cassandra's ours," he said with a grin.  "I'd just had one hell of a shift and crashed then went back for more.  She was teaching a new one over there.  So we kinda forgot since we knew she'd be so safe.  Usually our sitters would call us with these things."  They stared up to watch the next egg come out.  His phone rang so he answered it quickly, knowing who it was.  He had promised to call his boss back a half-hour ago. "Yeah?"  He checked his watch.  "No, I'm not due in yet, Grissom.  Turn on the news.  Something about Chicago on it?"  He smirked.  "Yeah, I'm there.  I'll be on time.  We all know this isn't my area.  Oops.  Sorry.  Um, call the house.  'Mil's at home.  Thanks, Grissom.  Love you too, man."  He hung up and sighed, shaking his head.  "Emilia felt ill so she asked Grissom to watch her for a few hours and hasn't picked her up yet."  He looked at everyone.  "Okay, I've got to leave within a half-hour.  What can I do to help more?"

"Go unfreeze more people," the official noted.  He nodded and went back to that.  "Good.  Charlie, how do you know the Wizard of Blood?"

"He's a Bane.  One of my brothers is a Bane."

"Well, I knew that.  Especially the pranking ones," she said dryly.

"They're buddies," Philip explained gently.

Charlie looked around.  "You'd almost think there was a curse breaker around here somewhere," he complained. "They seem to get called into this a lot."  He looked at Philip.  "Anyone you recognize?"

"Probably one of the students," he suggested.  "Can we cradle it without infecting the eggs?"

"No," he said sadly. "I wish we could, but it's a no magic rule totally. Or else they're damaged.  Especially at this stage."

"We still can't let her stay," Stanley pointed out.  "I wish I could, but I can't."  He glanced around again. "Okay, here's an idea.  Can you guys do the suspended animation thingy?"  Philip gave him an odd look this time. "I don't know exactly what you guys can and can't do.  If you can, would it hurt her to be put into it for a bit while you move her and the ones she's still carrying, then your transport picks up the eggs and takes them to her?"

"Secondary problem, we're not sure where to put her," the Canadian official noted.

"Well, we can't handle an ice dragon in Romania.  We get cold, but not year round," Charlie told her.  "I thought you guys had a preserve."

"We do, but it's full."

"Any free land around it?" Stanley asked.  She nodded.  "Can't you guys claim whatever it is that lets you claim land and pay only a little bit for it?"

"Eminent domain?" Philip suggested.

"Yeah, that's it," Stanley agreed.

"We could. It's on native land."

"Most natives would care for them," Benny pointed out gently.  "I know the Inuit tribe I grew up with probably would if they had the resources."  The official gave him a long look.  "My grandparents were the librarians and my father was also a Mountie."

"Oh.  Good for you, Constable.  That is a good idea.  I suppose we could.  Let me talk to my people."  She pulled out a phone and smiled at their shocked looks. "It's the only way up there.  Floos are so old fashioned."

"Yeah, but England's like that," Charlie noted.  "It's easier with so many null technology areas."

"The school still uses quills," Philip agreed.  "Quality education, just not technological by any means."

"Gods.  Our best schools give out laptops for papers," she told them.  She gave them a horrified look.  "How do you guys run on parchment and quills?"

"Slowly," Charlie and Philip assured her.  Greg drug Vecchio over.

"We're working on the problem, detective," Philip told him.  "Just be patient for a few minutes longer."

Stan looked at him.  "Want a beer and a pizza after work?"

"Hell yes," he agreed firmly.  "Plus some explanation?"  He sneezed.  Greg handed him a vial.  "Antibiotics?"

"Something to take care of the cold," he told him.  "It's a pepper up potion.  Perks you up and makes you feel warmer."

Vecchio handed it back carefully.  "No thanks, I like modern medicine.  If I want peppers, I'll get some on my pizza tonight."  Greg smiled and shrugged, tucking it away again.

"Great One, aren't you supposed to be getting to work?" Philip teased.

"Yuppers, thanks, guys.  It's been fun.  No more dragons.  Medical, potions, even herbology I can deal with but I can't do dragons very well."  He disappeared, heading to the station first to pick up his little girl.  He walked in shaking his head.  "Movie promo stunt gotten out of hand," he said as he walked past Brass.

"Good.  Want a ride home, Greg?  Your wife never answered and Gil sent me to check on her."  Greg stopped and looked at him, frowning. "Or is your way faster?"

"Much," he said, glancing around.  He headed back outside to his chosen bit of shadow and popped home.  "Emilia?" he called.  No answer so he trotted up to their bedroom, assuming she'd be taking a nap.  No one, but the bed was messy.  He called Penn first.  "Is my wife there?  She's not at home.  She called Grissom to take 'San and said she was feeling really tired.  No, I called you first, just in case.  Thanks."  He called the hospital next.  "Hi, I'm Greg Sanders and my wife is pregnant with twins.  She's not at home even though she said she was going to be.  Was she brought to you guys?"  He waited while the nurse checked, then grimaced.  "No?  Yeah, please."  He wrote down two numbers for the other emergency rooms, making sure not to touch too many things, just in case.  Maybe he was paranoid, maybe not.  "Thank you very much."  He hung up and dialed the next one.

"Greg?"

"Bedroom," he called. "Sorry, ma'am.  My name's Greg Sanders and my wife's pregnant with twins.  She's supposed to be at home resting and isn't. I was wondering if she had been brought in.  No, just if she's there or not, I don't need any other information than that.  Yes, Emilia.  She may have had her old ID, which had the last name of Dorekson?  She's a Brit by birth."  He listened while she asked the other nurses and checked the check-in sheet.  "No?  Thanks.  Yeah.  If she does, I'm a CSI with the LVPD.  Thanks."  He hung up and called the last one as Brass walked in, holding up a hand.  "Hi, I'm Greg Sanders and my pregnant wife seems to be missing.  I needed to see if she was brought there."  He waited, looking at Brass.  "Last one."

"That's fine, kid."  He waited, looking around at the messy room.  "She not big on cleaning?"

Greg looked around, then grimaced. "This is way messier than usual," he noted.  "No, I'm still here.  Talking to one of the detectives I work with.  No?  Thanks, please.  No, I'm with the CSI unit.  Yeah, thanks."  He hung up.  "No on all three.  No pregnant women brought in at all."

Brass nodded.  "Then let's call Grissom, Greg.  You call your friends to search for her from outside."  Greg's face hardened. "You know the rules."

"Yeah, I know.  Let me check my lab and lock it, just in case," he said quietly, heading that way.  He found the door cracked and walked in, noticing the mess.  "Someone tossed it," he reported.  He checked, his backup stone was missing.  His main one was still hidden but he hadn't been able to get rid of all the contaminants from the last exposure it had gotten.  He backed out carefully.  "I can only allow Catherine and Grissom in this room," he reported. "Warrick I trust, but it's chemicals and I don't want him to get in trouble since his certificate is lapsed."

"Fine," Brass agreed.  "Go wait by the pool, Greg."  He nodded, heading that way.  Brass sighed as he pulled out his phone.  "Bring the daddy his little girl to hold while we search his house," he ordered quietly.  "She's missing.  His lab's trashed and he said only you and Catherine in it because Warrick's certificate is expired?"  He grimaced.  "That's fine.  No, he's by the pool trying it his way."  He hung up and went down to the door to secure the scene.  He noticed the security system.  "Greg, do you ever turn this thing on?"

Greg stuck his head back inside.  "Each and every time we leave.  We don't normally have it on when we're at home."  He walked in to look at it, then grimaced and hit the reset code.  "It's dead."  He started to move it but Brass swatted at him.  "Just checking, there's a loose wire in there.  We've had to have it fixed before."

"Out, Greg.  Grissom's bringing Cassandra to you."  Greg nodded and trudged back outside, going back to touching his arm and looking like he was thinking very hard. "Tracking charms?" he called.  He walked that way.

"Tried it, she's blocked," he called back.  "Damn it, Alex is still in Tibet!  We need him!"

"You've got other friends," Brass reminded him from the doorway. "Any other who are cops?"

"Blair's a former advisor.  Philip's a former priest.  Harry's playing a game today.  Dawn's in school.  Sev's a potions master.  Holly's a wiccan and maybe she can get something I can't.  I've asked everyone to try a tracking charm though.  The twins are at the store selling deadly pranks."  He called the phone out there over to him, handling it carefully by the edges as he dialed Penn's number again. "She's missing.  We can't even use a tracking charm.  No, we've got an ice dragon in Chicago and Alex is in Tibet."  He calmed himself.  "Yeah, I had forgotten about Nick.  Thanks, man."  He hung up and concentrated on Nick's mental voice.  He couldn't hear him.  He called the house the muggle way, getting a frantic Alex.  "Is Nick in trouble?  Because I need his help too.  My wife's missing," he said bitterly.  "No, it's Greg.  No, he'll hear it.  Um, check dark and big places.  Warehouse, by the sea, water's really close too.  Maybe a boathouse?  Big and dark.  Sorry, Alex."  He hung up.  "And he's missing."  He tossed it onto the other lounger, listening to the squishing noise.  "That's not supposed to do that."  He shifted over to look at the other chair, then grimaced.  "The neighbor's hose struck again."  He went back to his own chair, thinking at his friends.  It was a lightening quick exchange that went round the world and back again, but still wasn't helping.  Not even Philip reminding him to keep his temper was helping very much. Even Alex and Ron reminding him to keep his temper wasn't helping very much.

Brass turned to look at the first people through the front door. "He's out there communing with his arm."  Grissom nodded, taking the baby and the diaperbag out there.  "Catherine, the bedroom's a mess.  His lab's a mess, and he just said the chair net to him was wet from the neighbor's hose."

"I call the lab," she offered, heading up there. "Is anything missing?"

"His backup stone."  She paused to look at him.  "He's already made a few calls."

"Then we'll do it our way," she said firmly.  "The two can work together."  She went to work, starting from the doorway.  Everyone had to touch a doorknob to open a door and most wizards didn't think along the lines of gloves from what she had seen.

Grissom looked down at Greg as he cuddled his daughter.  "Anything seriously odd?"

"My backup stone is missing.  I found my lab door open," he said, looking at him.  "Penn hasn't heard a thing," he admitted. "Teller answered the phone and he said Penn was venting in the closet.  They have a show in an hour but he'll be listening."  He looked down at his daughter, then up at his boss again.  "I will kill someone for this," he said honestly.  "And I'll probably enjoy the hell out of it if she's the least little bit hurt."  Grissom nodded, heading inside.  Greg nuzzled his daughter gently.  "It's okay.  We'll find the mommy or else the daddy will rip apart this whole fucking planet if he has to," he whispered.  "We will find the mommy.  Grissom is good at finding lost mommies.  So is Auntie Catherine."  The phone rang so he called it back over to answer it.  "Yeah?"  He listened, sitting up straighter.  "And you are?" he asked coolly.  "No, you'll talk to me now or I'm going to destroy you.  You've got demands, you tell me."  He could see Brass ordering a trace from the corner of his eye.  "Do I care, man? You've got my wife and my unborn kids.  I want them back.  You've got needs and I've got needs.  If you meet my needs, I might not kill you today.  I can't promise, but I'll sure as hell try.  No, Alex Dumass is a friend of mine, but I'm not a curesebreaker.  Why?"

He listened to the other man ramble until Brass gave him a thumb's up.  "I want to talk to my wife.  Again, do I care what you want at this moment?  Unless I talk to my wife, I'm going to find a way to track you, kill you, and then revive you and do it all over again.  Now let me talk to my wife."  His daughter babbled at the phone, patting it.  "Not now, 'San.  Let daddy talk first."  Emilia gasped something. "Honey?  Are you all right?" he asked anxiously.  She hissed something and he nodded, understanding that.  "That's fine.  Give me an hour.  Put the putz back on."  He could hear the slap.  "My wife will be in the same condition you found her in or better or I will find my soul of vengeance," he warned coldly.  "Now, what do you want?  Give it now, man, before I have the opportunity to track you down.  Bet me I don't.  I've got a demonwhore on my side and her army of hellhounds."  The man listed his desires.  "Fine.  Doable.  One hour."  He hung up and tossed the phone at the other chair, then cuddled his daughter.  He stood up and handed her to Brass.  "Keep her for a few please.  I'm going to go get into a duel.  He wants my spot and my life."

"No," Brass said.  "You can't leave her alone, Greg."

"I can't not show up.  He knows me."  He knew he looked odd, Brass was giving him a wary look.  "I'm not the best dueler, but I've been taking lessons again."  He left, heading to the appointed spot, where he dropped one of Grissom's tracking devices.  He waited, impatient to say the least, until his opponent showed up.  "You're late.  She's not to apparate, you can hurt my children."

"We portkeyed," he said, shoving her out of the way.  "Ready?"

"No formal duels?  Barbarian much?"

"No, I prefer the realistic ones."

"Fine," Greg agreed. "Crucio."  The man howled in pain as Greg walked over. "You touched what was mine and mine alone," he hissed, squatting down beside him.  "I can very easily pull up the rage to kill you.  I was a Slytherin for a very long time, little boy.  You fucked with the wrong one of us.  We're Banes for a reason."

"Greg," Emilia gasped, grabbing his arm.  "Hold me?"  He nodded, holding her as tightly as he could.  "Release him.  Let the law handle him. He still kidnaped me."  She watched as her husband called in his location, the tracking device and all, then broke the guy's wand with a simple snap of his hands.  Then he was back to holding her again.  "He wasn't the guy who looted the lab."

Greg pulled out his cell, pulling his antenna with his teeth to call Catherine.  "Here, tell her," he ordered, holding her some more.

She put the phone close to her ear.  "Cat, it's me.  No, he saved me.  The lab was looted when I got home.  Yeah.  Someone was.  Thanks."  She hung up and dropped the phone, hugging him back.  "I'm sorry he made you worry, Greg."

"Not as much as I'm going to make him paranoid," he promised. He looked down at the wizard.  "If you think I'm scary, you should see my friends.  They're all coming this way.  Call Penn, love."

"You called him?"

"I had to know if anyone had let something slip."  She picked up the phone, resting against his chest as the cops came rushing in.  "Hey, I'm the kidnaping victim," she complained.  "The one holding me is my husband.  The guy on the ground had me."

"What happened to him?" one officer asked.  Greg glared at him. "Oh.  You're a possessive spouse," he said, nodding his agreement.  "Very well, sir.  We'll need to take a statement from your wife."

"Only if I'm standing there," he retorted.  He pulled out his credentials and they all winced.  "Got it?"  They nodded.  "Thanks."  He took the phone when he heard the shouting.  "Sorry, cops thought I was kidnaping her again."  He smiled as he looked at the gentle way they were handling his wife. "Guys, she's pregnant.  I want her checked over by our doctor.  No, he can make house calls."  He listened again. "Yeah, him. Is he there?"  He smiled. "Thanks, man, you're the best overlord we could ever wish for."  He hung up, noticing the odd looks. "Private joke," he defended.  "He's a great source of information and calming me down when she's in pain."  He followed them, taking his wife's hand to hold on the way back to the car.  He got into the back with her, holding her while they went to the station.  A big man in black walked up to them once they were inside an interrogation room and he looked up at him. "Doc.  She was taken. She's pregnant."

"So Penn told me," he said gently.  "May I have some privacy?"

"Sure," Greg agreed.  He moved to the doorway, but didn't leave.  The doctor looked at him. "My wife!"

"Good point."  He smiled at her and laid a hand on her stomach, casting a small charm around her.  "You look fine.  Your blood pressure is up.  Your heartrate is slowing down again.  The children look fine as well.  A bit stressed by your ordeal but nothing I wouldn't say was normal.  Twins?" he asked with a smile.  She nodded.  "Triplets."  She shook her head, eyes wide.  He nodded. "Yes, dear one.  Triplets.  Two are exactly the same however."  He glanced at Greg.  "There's one possibility for still having twins.  Most masters of an art can occasionally manifest in the womb and create an illusory second one.  But that is very rare."

"I did it before I was born," Greg admitted, deeply in shock.  His mind wasn't processing beyond the fact that she was fine and the doctor might be seeing an in-utero illusion.  "That's how someone knew I was going to be a wizard.  One of the nurses had heard of it and called in a friend."

"Greg, remember how you wanted to run away before?" Emilia asked.

"It's still very rare.  I would still say triplets," the doctor offered.

He swallowed.  His wife was scary. "Triplets?  Draco only saw two.  Are you sure?"

"Two are exactly the same and on the same wavelength. If all he was looking at was power flows, then that's all he would get.  Is he a consort veela like yours?"

"My cousin," Emilia said, touching her arm to send a scathing remark at her beloved cousin.  Something along the lines of 'I'm going to get you for this too, bastard'.  She looked up at the doctor.  "We're sure I'm fine?"

"I'd like to put you on bedrest for a few days," he offered.  "Drink a lot of juice.  No potions, husband."  He backed away, canceling the charms.  "I hope you many years of pleasure from the boys and the girl."  He bowed to each of them before leaving.

"See, I knew I'd like him more," Greg pointed out. "Being a shaman and a doctor is really good."

"Greg, triplets?" she demanded.  "Three little heathens?"

He grimaced.  "Okay, not what I wanted exactly," he admitted. "All I wanted was a little boy, I promise."  He walked over to hold her, relaxing once she was back in his arms.  "Sorry, 'Mil."

"You'll deal," Grissom said as he walked in. "What did you do to him?"

"Remember the guy who got me in the hallway?" Greg asked.  Grissom nodded.  "That."  He looked stunned.  "Hey, it takes rage and I had it.  You're lucky he's living.  She stopped me, made me take it off him."  He squeeze her again.

"Ease off, Greg, I need to be able to breathe," she complained.  He sat beside her, holding her hand and kissing it occasionally.  "Merlin, you'd think I was never in trouble, Greg."

"You're not," he reminded her. "If you are, unless it's really dangerous, I don't want to know."  He gave her a look. "You knew I was a worrywart the day you met me when we were eleven, Emilia.  That hasn't changed."

She grimaced. "I noticed."  She looked at Grissom.  "The doctor just found evidence for triplets."

He smiled.  "Congratulations.  How are you?"

"He only grabbed me, tied me to a chair."  Greg moaned.  "He slapped me once, and that's probably why Greg's gone homicidal."

"Quite likely," he agreed. "Greg, go get her some water."  Greg glared at him.  "Now, Greg, or I'm locking you in my office alone."  Greg got up and walked out, only slamming the door a little bit.  Grissom shook his head. "I've never seen him like that before."

"Love does odd things to your head," she reminded him. "Losing me for real would probably send him over the edge or kill him," she said quietly.  "That's why I retired from my usual job, Grissom."

"I understand.  Now, what was the kidnaping about?"

"He wanted to face my husband to take his spot in the hierarchy."

"Another one of you guys?"  She nodded.  "That's fine.  I'm assuming since you do work for the Feds that one of them will magically appear and save us a lot of paperwork?"

"If they do, they can get Greg for casting that, Grissom.  He's harmless now.  His little talisman was broken."  Grissom sat up straighter. "Greg had every right to do it.  The man was going to kill me if Greg lost.  He might have killed me anyway, he hadn't decided yet.  Breaking his little wand was totally appropriate.  They can't charge him for that."

"If you're sure," he agreed.  He made a note on his pad.  "Where did he come in?"

"He came in off the roof," she told him.  "Came in on the second floor balcony.  He started to drag me back there but I protested about being pregnant."  She rubbed her stomach. "That's when he hit me the first time, calling a cab to come get us.  He warned me not to say anything or else.  Whatever he wanted to do basically.  He's very indecisive.  You can tell it in his eyes."  Grissom made another note and she squeaked in fear as the door opened.  "Oh, Gods, scare me!"  She looked at the man. "Who are you?"

"I'm an associate of Nick Boyle's.  I was told I could find Gregory in here?" Derek asked calmly.

"He's up the hall by the men's bathroom throwing a fit," Emilia said.  "I was just recovered."  She looked at him, touching her arm.  "He's still living."

"Yes, but we can't find where."

"Then get Philip, Derek.  He is one of us.  He's in Chicago."  His face lit up.  "And he can get you back there faster too," she advised.  She called Philip personally, bringing him running as quickly as possible.  He actually ran into Derek's back.  "Take Greg's 'key, Philip," she said quietly.  "Greg felt water, darkness, very on the water, like he's next to it in some sort of big space."

"Thanks, Emilia.  You're all right?"

"For now.  Apparently the twins prediction was a bit off.  Triplets."  Philip moaned. "I think I'll be making that same noise soon.  Don't bother Greg.  He's having one of those angry days."  They nodded, leaving together once Philip had found the portkey with Catherine's help.  She had recognized him.  She looked at Grissom.  "It's been one of those bad days," she said softly.  "I hate days like these."

"So do I," he assured her. "Want me to remind Greg that you needed the water?"  She shook her head, taking his notepad to write down her memories of all this day, starting when she woke up.  When she was done he took it back.  "Thank you, Emilia. Anything I should skip over?"

"I was hoping for some mid-afternoon sex when Greg got back, but that was only part of the reason I had you watching her.  I really do feel nasty."

"You're having three kids, I'd feel nasty too," he assured her.

She smiled at him. "Someone's figured out how to do that."  He looked stunned and she nodded. "Just recently.  Offered it to the twins."  He laughed, walking out to leave her alone.  Greg came back a few minutes later with his personal mug with some water.  "Thank you, love.  I had Philip take your 'key to Nick's.  Derek was here.  Funny, Nick never said he was so much older than him."  She sipped the water, taking his hand to hold.  "Can we go?"

"I'll ask," he promised, standing up again.  Warrick came in.  "Oh, crap, you're mad."

"No, I'm not," he said, shaking his head.  "Everyone's accused me of that today."  He gave him a long look. "You all right?"

"No."

"That's understandable I guess.  Any Feds coming, Brit or not?"

"If they do he may be in trouble," she admitted.  "Send him to prison, please."

"Fine."  He gave them a long look.  "Babies?"

"Triplets," she said between sips.  "Two of them are so identical the doc had to search a different way to see them apart.  I'm going to be a whale."

Warrick smiled.  "No you won't.  You just think you will."  He came over to help her up.  "Grissom said to go to a hotel for the night.  We're still working on Greg's lab and he knew you'd want to be safer.  Catherine has 'San in her office.  Brass got scared when she cooed at him."  He looked at Greg.  "It was correct to point that out.  It would have blown the case."

"I didn't want you to get into trouble," Greg admitted.  "I know how the sheriff is looking for any excuse to tighten our budget again."  Warrick nodded.  "Be safe, man.  We'll be in Penn's hotel probably.  That way he can come up and check on his trouble buddy."  He walked his wife out, heading to the cab stand.  He passed up two of them, getting an odd look from the driver he finally chose.  "She was just kidnaped.  You look more trustworthy."

"That's fine, sir. Which hotel?"

"The one that has Penn and Teller's show," she ordered gently.  He nodded, taking off slowly. "You can go a bit faster.  I'm pregnant and I really need a bathroom."  He sped up to normal cab speed, only bending a few speeding laws.  She let him pay for the cab, then got him inside, heading directly for a bathroom.  Greg was waiting when she came out, key in hand.  "How did you do that?  I know you wouldn't leave that spot."

"Teller walked past and handed it to me.  Apparently he's psychic now too."  He led her to the desk, letting her sign them in since they were in a secured suite.  "Thanks," he said gently, taking his credit card back.  He led her to the elevator.  "I'll spoil you tomorrow by taking you shopping."

"I'd like that," she agreed happily, smirking at him.  "We'll still never find a shirt to fit me once I'm six months along."  They walked out of the elevator and into the suite.  "Ooh, I like this one," she told him.  "Expensive?"

"So?" he snorted.  "You're worth it.  I don't spend my paycheck on anything much at the moment."  He led her to a soft couch and sat her down, casting his own check charms on her.  She appeared fine so he finished relaxing, curling up with his head in her lap, nose pressed against his future kids.  "We forgot 'San again."

She called over the phone and called the precinct, getting Catherine immediately.  "I'm sorry.  It's been one of those days, you know?"  Catherine laughed and promised to bring her over in a few minutes, as soon as she could.  She even said she'd stop and get them some diapers if they reimbursed her.  "Sure.  Thanks, Catherine.  Watch out, she's walking and she spent the weekend with the Weasley twins, the next generation.  She spent the whole time pouncing poor Joxer and trying to strip her."  Catherine laughed as she hung up.  She patted Greg on the head.  "I don't like days like this."

"Me either.  Thankfully they're rare," he mumbled against her flesh.  "Good babies.  You don't kick right now.  We love you guys."  He blinked heavily, suddenly needing a nap.  "Night."

"Good, you nap, I'll watch," she agreed.  She smirked as he fell asleep then Penn walked in. "Good job."

"Thanks.  I figured he'd be a bit possessive of your tummy."  He patted it for her.  "How are they?"

"They are actually three.  Two of them are so close in twinness that they have the exact same pattern of energy.  Doc found the difference."  He winced.  "So yes, triplets.  I'm going to be bigger than Tipsy was."

"Yes, but you'll still be prettier," he said with a wink.  "You okay, kiddo?"

"Fine. He slapped me a few times but nothing major.  He was being indecisive.  Greg snapped his wand."

"Good!  I also heard Greg was able to cast something really painful?" he asked archly.

She looked up at him.  "If it was your wife, you would too," she reminded him gently.  He nodded at that, accepting it as truth.  "Anything new?"

"No, not really.  No daughter?"

"Catherine's bringing her."

"Someone put in a suggestion that we bring her on stage with us once a week to do special shows."

She gave him a long look. "My daughter is not a stage prop, Penn."  He grinned at her. "Only if I can make sure she's not harmed.  She's walking now."

"Good.  I'm sure she'll climb into bed with the triplets many times once they're born."

"As long as it's not before they're born," Greg complained, turning over to look at him. "Problems?"

"Came to check on her," he said gently.  "Go back to sleep, Greg."  Greg grimaced but felt compelled to listen. "Good boy."   He smirked at her. "Works every time."

She laughed, it was a nice feeling after the day they had all had.

Chaos Indeed.

Harry's hand caught the snitch and he let out a satisfied smirk at his opponent before landing and proudly holding it up, earning the adoration and cheers of most of the crowd.  He handed it to Madam Hooch on his way past her, leading Ron back to the changing area for quick showers, and then to their dorm room.  The rest of their house would be celebrating but Harry had some special celebrations in mind for his Ron.

Draco stormed off, glaring at his father as he appeared to be smirking happily at Potter's back.  "Did you bet against me?" he demanded.

"No, he just fell perfectly in line with my plans," Lucius said smugly, smirking at his son.  "By the act of catching the snitch, I'll have his life ruined and his abilities and focus split."  Draco stared him down.  "I mined the snitch with a potent curse," he said to the dim bulb that his son turned into when he pouted.

"Father, had it ever occurred to you that I might catch the snitch?" Draco asked coldly.  How dare his father do this to him!

"Son, I'm... realistic about your abilities," his father admitted, figuring it was the wisest course of action.  "In this case, I knew you could not beat him, even if the hands of the Fates came down to put the snitch in front of you or made you swallow it.  So therefore I cursed Potter to be incredibly... happy with his mate of choice and to make certain things happen."

"And the fact that it's Weasley," he sneered.  Lucius' eyes widened.  "You absolutely pompous git," he said, glaring at him again.  "How dare you. You could have caught me!" he shouted, hitting his father.  "I will destroy you for this, father!  I will make sure everyone in the wizarding world, all around the world, knows what you did!"  He stormed off, heading in to stop those two.  It would cause more chaos and that was his favorite thing in the world.  He kicked in the door and walked in, giving the lovers on the bed a bored look.  "For your information, Potter, my father just admitted to mining the snitch with an incredibly potent fertility curse.  You're probably already doomed to a life of little Weasleys."

Harry looked at Ron.  "Aren't you already carrying my daughter?" he asked finally.

Ron nodded.  "As far as we can tell it's a daughter, or he's a great drag queen already."

"You let your boyfriend play while pregnant?" Draco demanded.  "Are you turning evil now?"

"I knew you weren't going to hurt him," Harry said with a shrug.  "He's very well protected as the keeper now that Flint's not gunning for Oliver."  He watched as Draco considered and fumed, then had to voice the question on his mind.  "It didn't occur to him that miracles happen and you might have gotten the snitch?"

"No," he said blandly, his face hardening again.  "He said he was *realistic* about my abilities.  I'm the second greatest seeker in this bloody school and he does that to me!" he shouted.

Ron tried to force down the bit of maternal instinct that was welling up but it wasn't working.  He was a Weasley, he had learned from his mother, and, well, he was going to be a mother soon.  He slid off the bed and walked over to Draco to hold him.  "Shh, I know you can do it if you're not playing Harry or wrapped up in being the son of Satan," he soothed.  "I've seen you practice when we spied on you. You're decent enough."  He led him back to the bed, weathering Harry's incredulous look.  "He needs it," he offered quietly.

"Ron!"

"Harry!"

"Oh, quit," Draco said, glaring at them both.  He tried to move but they stopped him.  "I need to go find something to do to my father that will make him sorry he ever pulled his dick out of his pants."

"Really?" Harry asked smugly.  He glanced at Ron, who smirked at him and shrugged.  They had both had fantasies about the blond pecker in the bed with them, they'd told them to each other not six weeks earlier.  "And here I thought you had the best revenge right now," Harry pointed out with a wicked grin.

Draco sat up, looking at him.  "You'd get my ass killed."

"By?" Ron asked, stroking up Draco's back.  "Besides, why would *HE* want to destroy the child of his enemy, the one that Harry would have to protect?" he asked, trying to sound seductive.  He managed it until the baby made him belch.  "Sorry, banana peppers for brekkie."

"That was disgusting," Draco said sourly.  "Stop it."  He shrugged Ron off him and weathered Ron's hurt look.  "Damn, if you wanted I would have done it anyway.  I'm not that complicated or girl-like.  Just whip the shit out in front of me."

"Draco, being romantic has nothing to do with being femme," Harry whispered in his ear.  "It has more to do with caring for what your partner likes.  Like right now I should slug you for making Ron feel bad."  He pinched him hard on the nipple.  "Instead I think you're going to be erasing the pout."  Draco looked stunned but Ron had pounced his new toy and brought Draco back to the mattress, and was quickly showing how well he knew this art.

Harry pulled his wand and summoned the snitch, holding it up to the light, then he grinned at Draco.  "Here, because you can't catch it when I'm in the same room."

Draco growled, which made Ron giggle and kiss him.  "Would you quit that?" he said, sounding a touch hysterical.  "Your lover just gave you to me."

"Wrong way around," Ron smugly corrected.  "Harry said you're to be our new sex toy."  He patted Draco's chest as he straddled the little waist.  "I don't know, Harry.  His tummy might stretch if he touched that."  He stroked the flat surface.  "I'll never be that tight again."

"They make exercises for that," Draco said bitterly.  "I've seen a few of our girls doing them."  He touched the lump he could see now. "You really are," he said, sounding awed.  "Is it odd?"

"Very," Ron said with a shrug, wiggling his lower half.  "But I've almost tripled my sex drive recently.  Didn't get a bit sick.  Now I'm pretty, loved, and desired by many and Harry has to practice his Ron defense plans."

Draco continued to stroke the little bump.  He noticed the snitch sitting on his chest and made a decision.  "It'll drive my father insane and keep my life interesting," he announced, caressing the snitch gently.  He loved the little gold ball.  It was perfect in his opinion.  He felt the curse take hold of him and shifted.  It was making him want them.  "Um, Ron?"

"Don't worry, we'll take good care of you," Harry promised, leaning down to kiss Draco, banishing the snitch away with his wand to get it out of the way.   "Which do you think would piss him off more, Draco?" he whispered seductively.  "Ron or me?"

"Oh, you, definitely you," he vowed, liking this mental plan.  His father was going to shit elephants and beg to suck the Headmaster off before he was done with him.  He sat up and Ron grabbed him to kiss.  "No, Snape," he said frantically.  "He'll kill my ass."

"He won't, he's been panting after it now for a few months," Ron promised, stroking over the blond hair.  "I promise he won't.  He's been giving me long looks recently whenever he catches me staring at my tummy."  He lifted off his shirt and tossed it aside.  "There, better," he sighed.  "I hate clothes."

"I said I'd rent us a place so you could be naked all summer," Harry reminded him.  "We'll do that soon enough."  They stared at Draco.  "I think he'd make a pretty harem boy.  Don't you, Ron?"

"I'm not a bottom," Draco said firmly.  "I don't suck or blow, thank you."

"Don't worry, we'll teach you how," Harry promised. "Ron's a treat at it."

Ron beamed at his lover.  "Only for you, Harry.  Then again, maybe we'll make him enjoy doing it to others."  He shifted back so he was across Draco's thighs.  "I think I like this view.  Harry, help him, he's being stiff and stuffy again."

"I'm not a sex toy," Draco squeaked as Harry used his wand to strip Draco and send his clothes flying across the room.  He looked down at himself, then at Weasley.  "I'm average," he defended at the opening mouth.

"Yeah, all that pure blood tends to breed smaller men," Ron agreed, standing up so he could strip, then kneel across Draco's thighs again.  "See?"

Harry beamed.  "Don't worry, kids.  We like you better this way."  He stood up and stripped himself beside the bed, which made Draco stare at him.

"You...you shave?" Draco asked in awe.  Harry nodded, looking quite serene, yet quite confident at the same time.  "Does it feel good?"

"Wanna find out?" Ron hissed in his ear.  Draco shivered and let him do whatever he wanted for now.  Harry laid down beside the duo, reaching a hand over slowly to stroke Draco's hairless chest.  "He's very tactile," Ron shared with a bright grin.  "Harry, can I show off?"

"Sure, Ron," Harry agreed happily.  Ron launched himself over, taking Harry down his throat immediately.  "Ron's great, Draco.  The first orgasm usually makes him the horniest creature on the planet.  Give him one and he's ready for more."

Draco swallowed and nodded, reaching over to touch Harry's chest.  "You're soft," he said.

"Well, I'm not, just my skin is.  His mum's been making some nice oils for me to use on him and we keep spilling some," he said with a light blush.

"You wouldn't spill so much if you used it for massages instead of trying to open me wide enough for a muggle truck," Ron said as soon as his mouth was free.  "I swear, it's ten inches thicker when he's in you.  Plus, he's got really strong thighs."

"It's all that time on a broom," Draco told him, staring at Ron's body. He wasn't badly built either.  If he had a body like either of them, he'd never wear shirts that weren't skin- tight or go around without one totally.  Between these two he looked like a gawky, underdeveloped teenager.

Harry shifted closer to kiss him.  "Don't worry, we'll have you properly trained and attired soon," he said with a happy smirk.  "I had to make Ron quit wearing those sweaters he liked.  I can do the same for you.  One last growth spurt and you should be able to meet with our beauty."

"Let's try something easy," Ron announced.  "Daisy chain."  Harry moaned.  "C'mon, Draco.  You on me, me on him and him on you."

Draco swallowed but Harry guided his head down and helped him start off before latching onto Draco's body for his own pleasure.  He found himself soaring in pleasure.  He wasn't usually like this, but he liked it. He was being pleasured and touched, and he was doing the same.  This was much nicer than the girls who simply laid there expecting him to do all the work.  He nearly pulled away when he felt the damp finger breach him but it found a spot that made him lose his mind.  He was seeing spots of colors in front of his eyes and his body was writhing under the assault.  He had to let go of Weasley to breathe and quickly found himself the center of the action.  He was like some sacrifice to them, something to be used up.  Even feeling that, he still wouldn't or couldn't make them stop.  Not even when the fingers preparing him left and Harry mounted him, not even when Weasley took his turn.  Not even when he was so needy he was ready to do the unthinkable and pleasure himself because he couldn't get off without that - they wouldn't let him.  He tried but Harry's hands stopped him, holding his hands above his head.  "Please," he moaned.   Harry switched back while Ron got down to please him, making him mindless and begging until he finally found release.  He went limp on the bed, staring at them in awe.  "It's always like that?"

"No, that was pretty normal.  We've had some fantastic nights where things were much better," Ron admitted with a shy grin for his lover and a stroke of his stomach.

Harry lunged over to kiss him.  "You're welcome."  Ron grinned at him.  "Let's curl up around Draco.  You could use a rest before we start again later, Ron."

"Sure, Harry."  They curled up, using Draco's chest as their pillow.  He was quite comfortable.  Just squishy enough to give a padded feeling.  "Hey, Harry, when are you going to present Lucius the snitch?" he asked quietly.

"Oh, don't worry, it'll be before he leaves," he said smugly.  "I heard him yelling in the halls earlier for Draco.  He said he's not leaving until he finds his 'blasted son', as he put it."

Draco snorted.  "The man needs to be fixed."

"We could always plant the snitch inside his bum, make someone get it," Ron offered.

"Ron, snitches are nice.  We shouldn't hurt snitches," Harry said dryly.   "Though, I'm all for a rumor that Lucius had a try at a mountain troll during his school years."

"That would be a disgusting child," Draco said with a small smirk.   "Maybe a three-way with a banished goblin and a troll?"

"Nah, they've got the same sort of ears," Ron said with a giggle.  "Hmm, now about..."

"Ron, no.  I won't be able to sleep later from the images," Harry warned.

"Fine," he relented with a grin and a wink at Draco.  "I'm sure we can come up with all sorts of ways to torture him."

"Hmm.  Well, you could start by calling him dad," Draco offered.  "He hates being called dad, even by me.  It's always father."

"Well, technically, you'd be ours, Draco, so I guess we could," Harry agreed.  He stroked Draco's stomach.  "Hmm, I do believe that was a most potent curse," he announced happily.  Draco moaned.  "Shh, I take care of what's mine, Draco.  They're pampered, cosseted, and well taken care of.  Just ask Ron."

Ron nodded. "He's even snuck down to get me food before.  Made some by hand since all the house elves were busy."

Draco looked impressed.  He never would have done that for any of his lovers.  Nor expected any of them to do it for him.  "Wow," he said finally.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it," Harry promised.  "After a few 'leave me alone' moments.  I had a few of those until Ron showed me how nice it was to be the caring and touchy guy I am."   He stroked Draco's stomach again.  "Ron, feel."

Ron laid a hand on Draco's stomach.  "Hmm, strong."  He looked up at Draco.  "You're about glowing with the magic at the moment.  When it's faded we can cast the charm to check on it."  He put his head down again, going back to stroking his new toy's stomach.  "Harry, I need a snack."

Harry reached out and rang a bell, bringing a house elf.  "Can we have something to nibble on?" he asked politely.

"Headmaster wants yous.  Hes calling for Harry Potter now."

"I'll yell at him later.  You can tell him I'll be up after dinner," Harry promised.  "If he gives you that look again, you can tell him what I'm doing," he offered with a grin.  It was a thing with this house elf, she liked to try to embarrass the old man.  She remembered him from when Dumbledore was a student.

"Fine.  Misty feeds but you....."  She stopped then looked at Draco's stomach.  "I brings food," she said, disappearing quickly.  She brought back a feast for them to celebrate with.  "Misty says eat," she ordered Draco, staring at him.  "Yous and babies needs."  She nodded and left, going to tell the Headmaster Harry's message.  She appeared next to the desk and coughed. "Harry Potters say he be up after dinner.  He's say he's busy with new baby creating."

Dumbledore coughed to hide his surprise, otherwise he might have blushed.  "I thought Ron already was."

"Blond, snarly ones too.  Twins Misty sees."

"Really?" the Headmaster asked smoothly.  She nodded.  "Where might they be?"

"His rooms."

"Thank you, Misty," he said with a fond smile, handing over a peppermint candy.  "Have a treat.  Could you tell Lucius I'll have his son found by after dinner?  I believe Harry's going to be telling him some good news."

"Sure.  Misty do."  She disappeared to do that.  She found him snarling in Slytherin's house.  "Dumbledore says that your son be found by dinner.  He knows where he is, but can't interrupt right now.  He's celebrating."  She looked at the person who had just squeaked, then grimaced.  "Yous nasty, go bathe!" she ordered, pointing a long, thin finger up the stairs.  "Bad boy!  Boys all bathe after quidditch!"  The boy in question ran off to do that.  She had a fierce reputation around the school.  Last month she had forced a Hufflepuff girl to bathe after she had perfumed herself nearly to death.  She disappeared, going back to the kitchens to spread this interesting news.

Dobby squealed and hugged her for it, bouncing around happily.  He'd be getting Harry special treats for months for this.

***

Harry walked out with his boys behind him, smirking at Draco's father when he found him.  "Ah, dad," he said happily, holding up the snitch.  "I believe you did something to this.  You might want to consider taking the curse off since Ginny Weasley's going to be seeker again next year."  He handed it back with a smirk.  "So, dad, it appears we've got a lot in common."  He smiled at Draco and took his hand to kiss the back of it.  "Don't worry, we and the twins and Ron won't keep you up...much."  He let Ron wrap himself around him and led Draco away with him.  "Say goodbye, Draco," he reminded.  "You're mine now."

"Bye, dad," Draco said with a wave over his shoulder without looking.  "Thanks for that.  I had no idea how *strong* Harry really was.  By the way, Weasley was already affected."

Lucius moaned and dropped the snitch, so Ron pulled his wand and put it into Lucius' hair.  He'd never notice it back there until he took it down.  They all chuckled when Lucius went to his knees.  "No, son.  Tell me you didn't."

Harry smirked at him again.  "Chaos, destruction, and power, Lucius.  How could he not?" he said smugly.  "My boys are wonderful and very pleasing to me."  He stroked Ron's stomach, then Draco's.  "I'm sure you can see what hellions these three will be.  Even if both the twins are mine."

Ron nodded, giving him a goofy grin.  "That's right, Draco's finally found a good home, right between us.  He's *wonderful* at it already.  No instruction necessary for our virgin bottom.  Took right to pleasing us."  He grinned at Harry.  "I think we'll have to put him into some soft jammies tonight so we can lounge around."

"I sleep naked," Draco told them.

"Even better," Ron agreed with a leer.  "Don't worry, Draco.  We'll take good care of you.  You never have to worry about nasty gits again."

Harry kissed Draco, making him go weak-kneed.  "That's right.  Nothing and no one touches my boys."

"Oh, someone will, Potter," Lucius vowed.  "You will be stopped.  Give me my son!" he demanded when Harry laughed.  "I will see you stopped, Potter!"

Potter smirked at him.  "Me?" he asked with fake innocence.  "I'm sure, Lucius.  But until then, you might want to prepare a nursery.  Or would you like to move into the house the Ministry said was ours?" Harry asked Draco.  "It's nice, a bit dirty at the moment, but nice."  Draco opened his mouth, looking confused.  "Dad's family's house," he offered.

"Oh, where is that?" Draco asked.  "I've never heard of them having one."

"It's more a home than a mansion," Ron explained as he walked Draco off.  "We'll sneak off this weekend to look it over again since we'll really need to work on the nursery.  Plus, I need to tell my mum and dad the good news."  He gave Draco a squeeze, earning a long look.  "Relax.  Even your housemates can't complain too much.  Harry and I will protect you," he offered quietly.  "You're ours now, Draco.  Not even Granger can do more than snort and roll her eyes at you without earning Harry's or my wrath."  He gave him another squeeze.  "C'mon, Harry, we've got to meet with the Headmaster before he sends Snape to track us down again."

"Yeah, I doubt he wants to catch us shagging in an alcove again," Harry agreed, waving at Lucius.  "Bye, dad.  We'll call you to come in for the binding ceremony."  He followed his boys, sneaking in a quick squeeze to their bottoms before they headed up the stairs.  So Draco was blushing as he walked in the Headmaster's office.  "Sorry, but this unbelievable compulsion to have Ron and Draco overtook us," he announced.  Snape let out a strangled choking moan sort of sound, which made Harry smirk at him.  "You'd be proud of Draco, Professor.  His father mined the snitch with a powerful fertility curse and he's a beaut with it."  He stroked Draco's bum again, making him squeak and blush, which made Harry and Ron chuckle.  "He'll learn soon enough."  He smiled at the headmaster, who smiled back.  "You needed us?  By the way, Ron offered to take Draco to the family home this weekend to work on the nursery since we're going to need it."

"Lucius did what?" the Headmaster asked cheerfully.

"Mined the snitch with a powerful fertility curse," Draco announced, clearing his throat.  He swatted at Harry, frowning at him.  "Not in front of others."

Ron snorted.  "He bloody well almost took me in charms last week, Draco.  Get used to it.  Harry's a horny bastard and you're his newest treat."

Snape walked over and grabbed Draco, pulling his wand to check him over.  "I'll kill you, Potter," he ground out.  "Draco does not need this!"

"Oh, shut it," Harry said dryly, glaring at him, but still smirking.  "He came to me, Severus.  Not the other way around.  Draco knows exactly what he wants and we showed him how nice it can be to be with us.  It was his decision.  Now, hands off what's mine before we have to have another duel."  Snape slowly let Draco go and backed away.  Harry looked at the headmaster again, still smirking.  "Did you need anything else?  We were going to celebrate some more.  I've got a new one to spoil and he's never seen how truly wicked I can be in that department."

"I want him to see Madam Pomfrey tonight, boys, and have her check Ron while she's at it.  Then you will have to do something about the binding ceremony before Molly and Arthur find out."

"Got that taken care of," Ron noted.  Harry smirked at him.  "I do.  I still have to tell her that she's hosting it but I don't think she'll mind too much."  He smiled at Draco.  "You'll like it, mum'll make it short, sweet, and soon.  Then there's the honeymoon," he added with a leer, which made Draco blush again and duck his head.  "Don't worry, once the spell's set it can't happen to add more."

"You are disgusting," Snape hissed.  "He's delicate, Weasley.  He does not need that."

Ron snorted, giving him an odd look.  "You've obviously never been this way.  I had no idea how much hornier I'd become.  You're damn lucky I held myself together during our last class with you, otherwise you'd have been witness to me claiming Harry's bum right then and there for being so good with the knife."

Snape let out a whimper and backed away farther.  "It's a fact that pregnant people do have a stage where everything is about sex," Dumbledore said gently.  "It'll be passing as the weight comes."

"Then I get backrubs, footrubs, and neck rubs," Ron said smugly.  "And more sex.  Or don't you remember my mum when she was carrying Bill during her last year?"  Even Dumbledore blushed at that.  "See?"  He suddenly turned and kissed Draco, making him go weak in the knees and moan.  "C'mon.  Let's get to the infirmary to get that over with.  Then we'll go take a long bubble bath in the Prefect's bathroom and cuddle before more sex," he said with a small leer.

Harry watched as Ron led Draco away.  "Worried that we'll infect the others?" he taunted gently.  "Oh, Professor, tell your Slytherins that trying for Draco is a challenge to me.  Not to Ron or Draco, to me," he said in his most pleasant and happy voice before leaving to follow his boys.  He found them sitting on a bed waiting while the nurse took care of someone else.  "Waiting?"  Ron grimaced and nodded.  "Then there's a cure for that," he decided, pulling the curtains again.  Draco was teased and played with until he came, then Harry and Ron got each other until Ron pleaded and begged for Harry to finish him off.  Harry got a good blow out of it and Ron was limp by the time the nurse came in.

"Mr. Potter, I don't believe you needed to do that in my infirmary," Madam Pomfrey said coolly.

"Of course we did," he said happily.  "We're celebrating adding Draco to our couple.  By the way, he's up too."

"Oh, dear," she moaned, coming over to check the sleeping boy.  "What did you do to him?"

"Blew him," Harry and Ron said.

"Plus I opened him a bit again," Harry admitted.

"And I taught him how to give one," Ron added for good measure.

"And earlier we fucked him to the moon and back," Harry agreed, grinning at Ron.  "Then we finished him off and cuddled."

"Hmm, then we went to taunt his father on his behalf."

The nurse moaned.  "Never mind," she said quietly.  She finished checking Draco then moved to check Ron.  "You both look healthy.  Try to stay that way instead of injured, faint, or even sleepy."

"We try, but it's so bloody hard to keep my hands off my boys," Harry told her with a shrug and a grin.  "Are we done?"

"Go," she agreed with a sigh, watching as they floated Draco off, talking about taking a long bath with him.  "He'll be the death of me yet," she complained.  She went back to the girl with the broken arm she had just started the healing on, making sure she wasn't going to pull a Harry and sneak out.

***

Ron boldly walked into the back door of his family house, kissing his mother on the cheek.  "Hi, mum, hi, dad," he said as he sat down.  Molly gave him a long look, her eyes narrowed.  "No, we didn't fly out of the school," he teased.  "I'm here to give you good news, mum."

"I can see your good news, Ron, you're glowing," she said dryly.  "Who's?"

"Harry's."

"Then you'll be marrying him," she said.

"Him and Draco," he agreed with a bright grin.  "He's ours too.  We're not sure if his twins are Harry's or one of each."

"Twins?" she shrieked.

"Not mine, mum, his.  I'm carrying Harry's little girl," he said proudly.  His father choked and dropped his fork, grabbing his water to try to stop the coughing.  "Dad, you okay?"  He shook his head.  "Sorry, dad."  He looked at his mother again.  "So, mum, can we hold it here and have something tastefully small?  You know how Harry can be about getting a lot of attention."

She snorted.  "As if Dumbledore and Lucius would allow that."

"Lucius is the reason Draco's preggers, mum.  He mined the snitch the last game with a fertility spell," he said smugly. "We've already about destroyed his world and hopes for the future."

Molly blinked and looked at her husband.  "This is your son, not mine."

"Mum, it's like this with all last sons," Ron reminded her.  "We're all able to get preggers and we're all perverse.  Remember how you were so shocked when the twins weren't the last boys?"  She grimaced and nodded.  "Well, I'm a lot like Uncle Mortimer was, only I don't work with dragons and I never encouraged my charge to grab a young girl and fly off with her for fun.  Harry wouldn't like that in the least."

Arthur moaned and then forced himself to stop and calm down.  "Son," he said, his voice a bit high but clearly trying to sound normal.  "How pregnant are you?"

"Four months and a few days."

"You knew when?"

"Two months ago," he admitted.  "We weren't hiding it, I just didn't know how to tell you, and now Draco's part of it so we want to do it now."

Molly glared at her youngest son.  "You're setting a bad example," she noted.

"Mum, I can always call Uncle Mortimer and Great-Uncle Sebastian to the wedding," Ron offered.  She let out a whimper that sounded suspiciously like a sob.  "We probably should anyway.  They tried to tell you, mum, and you thought I'd be fine.  Well, I am, but I'm kinda myself anyway.  I'm marrying Harry and Draco, even if we have to do it at the school."  He stood up and looked at them.  "Or we can have it here or Harry's family's house."

"I notice you didn't say Malfoy Manor," Arthur said grimly.  "Thank you for that, son."

"No, dad, that would give his mum too much influence and she came up squealing to chat with him.  At least until he told her it was his father's fault," he admitted with a smirk.  "And then she found out who.  Let's say she's not happy for her son at the moment but she's not trying to kill him so we're impressed."

"You'll have to hold it at the school," Molly decided.  "Harry's family home has to remain a bit more secret until the end of the war and I don't want half the people who'll be dropping in to be sleeping here for a few days."  Ron nodded, that was sensible.  "I'll get with Albus tonight over the plans."

"Harry wanted simple and I agreed, mum."

"That's fine," she agreed.  "We could even do it during dinner some night.  That would take care of the dinner afterward."  She stared her son down.  "You did this on purpose?"

"No," he snorted.  "But I'm not that upset with it.  Gods, think about this kid, mum.  A baby Harry and Ron together, and a girl!"

"Remember, you'll have a last born son some day too, Ron," she said smugly.

"Not if this is the only one," he said smugly, strolling back out.  "Thanks, mum.  Harry said he'd hug you when you came up.  He's presently shagging Draco again so I'm going to get in line.  He's wonderful at keeping us both happy."  He waved before portkeying off again.

Arthur put down his head, letting out the sobs he hadn't wanted to shed in front of his son.  "Oh, Merlin," he whined.  "Already?"

She patted him on the back.  "He'll be raising her, Arthur, not us.  We'll be able to hand back the children."  He gave her an adoring look.  "If Harry lets them do more than come over once a week."

He grabbed her to hug, getting in a long cuddle.  "We'll manage."

"We'll manage," she agreed.  "Now, we've got to call the others.  Do we call Percy?"

"He'll leak it to the press."

"I doubt Lucius won't anyway."

"Good point, Molly love," he agreed, smiling at her.  "Plus, you don't have to cook, feed the lot of them, or even house them."

"Yes, that's the best part," she agreed.  "I will get Harry back for doing this now, but I don't have to do much of the work.  It'll be different when Ginny marries of course."  They went to the school through the floo to talk to the Headmaster.  "Albus, they're going to have to hold it here.  There'll be too many people for the Burrow."

"We were thinking during dinner," Arthur offered.

Albus looked at them.  "He's your son," he pointed out.

"Yes, and it's either us or Remus plans it," Molly said smugly.  Albus moaned.  "So, during dinner?"

"That's a wonderful idea.  We can do a temporary expansion charm on the Great Hall for the evening.  Do you have a list?"

"Our family, Harry's family, and Draco's family," Arthur noted. "If Lucius brings others then that's his business."

"We're debating Percy," Molly noted.

"That's fine," Albus agreed.  "I can handle that.  Make out the invitations and we'll send them out.  We'll set it for a month from tonight.  Harry was hoping it'd be sooner but he can wait."

"Fine," Molly agreed.  "I'll find someone to make the wedding cake."

"Oh, no, the house elves will complain if they don't. You have no idea of what Dobby's been planning to help those three," he said smugly.  They smirked at each other.  "He is the last born son," he sighed.  "I had such high hopes that he'd keep the trouble down to being at Harry's side."

"Oh, he did," Arthur noted dryly.  "Now they're going to be together forever with Draco Malfoy.  How did Lucius do that?  Did he not even consider the chance that his son might catch it?"  Albus shook his head.  "Stupid plonker," he muttered.

"And then some," Molly agreed, patting her husband on the hand.  "Hopefully the boys got him back?"

"The last time they came up, Lucius found Harry and Ron going after his son in a most...carnal way.  He yelled and screamed so his son kicked him out of Harry's room and told him that he'd see him in a few minutes, after he was done pleasing his mates."  He shrugged.  "They seem to be focusing on irritation at the moment.  Narcissa about killed him however," he admitted, sounding happier about that.  "We'll send the invitations by fastest courier," he decided.  "That way this is over with as quickly as possible."

"Thank you, Albus," Arthur agreed, shaking his hand.  "Ginny won't be doing this."

"Ginny doesn't even want to date," he shared.  "You won't have to deal with hers for years."

"That's a promising thought," Molly agreed, leading Arthur back to the Burrow to cuddle each other.

***

The twins accepted the letters and looked at the official looking Hogwarts envelopes suspiciously before opening the other's.  Then they choked and Fred fainted.  "What the hell?" George asked in awe.  "If this is a prank, it's one of the best yet."  He waited until his brother woke up to look at him.  "Prank?"

"Not a prank," he said, pointing at the names.  "It's got Mum's name on it.  She'd have killed him by now if it was."

"True," George agreed thoughtfully.  "What's the 'in' gift this year?"

"Birth control," Fred noted.

"Probably too late on that," George snorted.

"True," Fred agreed miserably.  "Oh, blast, I just had a thought.  The Uncles are coming." George's eyes opened and he started to shake his head.  "They've got to be invited if Ron's really marrying."

"At least we're not really the last born sons," he offered weakly.  "Uncle Mortimer can't give us helpful suggestions again for when we get stuffed up."

"No, but I'm sure he and Ron'll have a lot of fun talking about it," Fred noted.   "So, gift?"

"Gift.  New clothes too.  Maybe a sample case since we're going to the school."

"Good idea.  Turn the tragedy into our favor."

***

Charlie looked up as the mail bird appeared, taking the letter the phoenix dropped in front of him before flying off again.  "Huh.  Dumbledore's bird.  Something must have happened at the school."  He unrolled the parchment, then sat down staring at it until he was licked.  "Not now, girl."  He stood up.  "Boss!" he yelled.  "I've got to head home to kill my little brother!"  His boss came running, already smirking.  "Here, wanna come home with me this time?"

"Just don't let your Uncle bring a dragon this time, Charlie," he said with a chuckle as he read it.  "Fine.  You can have the time off."

"I'm not sure I want it."

"Go.  It'll be a fun time since everyone'll be there."

"Maybe, but still.  Malfoy, Potter, and my brother?"

"Why is it being done so suddenly?" he asked dryly, handing the invitation back.

"Oh, don't even say it," Charlie warned.  "He's the last born but really."

"Who is?" a deeper, chuckling warm voice said as another redheaded man walked into the clearing.  "Problems at home, Charlie?"  Charlie handed over the invitation, making him laugh for real.  "Oh, this is too good.  We've got to go to this."

"No bringing a dragon this time," the boss said firmly.

"Not even to help the kiddies learn?" he taunted.

"If you do, Charlie's picking it out and handling it."  He walked off shaking his head.  He was so glad he wasn't a member of that clan.

Charlie looked at his uncle Mortimer.  "You think he's stuffed up?"  He nodded.  "Why?"

"Potter probably," he said with a shrug.  "Molly's last letter said something about those two getting closer and how I might want to remind Ron that it can happen.  We'll see in about a month."  He clapped Charlie on the back.  "Let's bring Bessie."

"She's a cranky bitch, Mortimer.  Let's bring someone who won't try to eat the school."

"Why? Hagrid'll love her better."

"Hagrid loves any dragon.  He's the one we got Norbert from."  Mortimer laughed.  "Fine, we'll bring Norbert back then."  He went to make plans for that and to make sure he was stocked up on something to drink for the night.  If not, he'd be flooing out for some.

***

Bill opened the tomb's last door and found a phoenix waiting on him.  "How did you get in here?" he demanded.  The bird sang for him and held out a roll of parchment.  "For me, huh?"  He took it and unrolled it, then stared at the bird in shock.  "Excuse me?  What?!?"  The bird cooed and nuzzled him.  "Oh, this is so like Ron," he ground out, but he did stay gentle with the bird.  "C'mon, we'd better leave now.  It'll take me two weeks just to get out of this tomb."  He looked at the last door, then at him.  "You think we should crack it?"  The bird shook its head.  "Fine.  Let's go."  The bird came out on his shoulder, steering him back to the easier path back up to the surface.  The goblins stared at him as he came out a week and a half later.  "Missive from home," he said grimly, handing over the crushed parchment.  "I've got to go.  He said not to crack that last door."  He walked off, heading for his jeep so he could get clean. His mother would scrub him if he didn't do it himself.

***

Percy opened the regular letter, looking at the contents, then calmly stood up and went up to his father's office, tapping gently on the door before walking in.  "I'm invited?" he asked, waving it a bit.

"If you want.  The first time you open your mouth, I'm letting Ron have you.  He's pregnant you know," Arthur said, not looking up at his son.

"Fine.  Thank you, I'd love to attend.  I'll ask for time off right away."  He headed down to the personnel department to fill out a leave request form.  The girl working the counter smiled at him.  "My brother's wedding," he explained, handing it over with the invitation.  "I'll need that back probably."

"Let me copy it, Mr. Weasley."  She copied the invitation and put it with his form, then handed back the original.  "I saw some great presents two shops up from Ollivander's.  Including a baby bottle warmer."

"That's a thoughtful gift," he agreed, smiling at her.  "Thank you."  He went back to his desk, handing the invitation to his boss when he frowned.  "I had to put in the papers to have the day off."

"Fine," he said gruffly, handing it back.  "Try not to take more time off. You had a break for that."

"I thought I just took it," Percy said perfectly calmly.  His boss smiled and clapped him on the back before going back to his office.  Percy sat at his desk and worked on his paperwork, mentally making a list of what he could buy for those three.  Maybe a nice fondue pot?

***

Ginny looked up as Ron and Harry walked Draco into Gryffindor, grimacing at them.  "What are you three doing now?" she demanded, drawing the attention Ron obviously wanted.

"We're here to make an announcement," Harry said calmly.  "Can I have all the Gryffindors for a moment?" he yelled.  Everyone came running.  "Thanks.  As you all know, Draco's ours now.  We're getting married in three weeks before dinner."

"We're expecting you guys'll want to have a party that night so we're giving you ample warning to get stuff the next weekend in town," Ron noted with a grin.  "So, tell Madam Rosemerta this weekend in town so she knows to send a cask of butterbeer up for the house's party."

"We, of course, will be hiding in a room making a lot of noise," Harry finished.  "No presents are necessary."

"But watch out, the twins'll be up with a sample case probably," Ron added for good measure.  "Along with the rest."

Ginny snickered. "In other words, Uncle Mortimer's probably coming up with a dragon too?"

"Quite possibly," Ron agreed dryly, smirking at her.  "Also, if anyone hasn't heard, I'm preggers and so's Draco.  I know mine's Harry's little girl but we're not sure about Draco's yet.  So play nicely with him."

"Or face me," Harry said, glaring at them.  He kissed the back of Draco's hand.  "The same way he's going to be doing."

"Wonderful," Hermione agreed, smiling at them.  "It's about time you admitted you're pregnant, Ron."   Ginny stared at her in shock.  "You didn't see his breakfast for the last few days?"

"Well, yeah, but he's always eaten like that," she noted.  "Though the banana peppers and cottage cheese were a bit odd, even for him."

Ron nodded.  "But it was good."  He grinned at her.  "Everyone's been invited.  Fair warning."

"Ooh, I'm so going to stay away from Great-Uncle Sebastian," she promised.  "That old lech pinches me once and I'm decking him."

"See, if you had a boy, he'd not do that," Draco told her.  "He'd nudge him and give him suggestions and threats."

Ginny gave him an odd look.  "He probably would," she agreed.  "Anyone want to play that role?"

"I will," Dennis Creevy offered.  "You're cute," he said with a grin.

"Thanks, Dennis.  I'll be sure to let my parents in on the charade so they're not horrified.  Did you make mum cry, Ron?"

"No, but I think Dad did," he admitted with a shrug.  "What can I say, Harry's a stud."  He winked at Harry and grabbed Draco to kiss him, making him moan.  "And you're adorable under me," he whispered, leering at him.  "C'mon.  I think it's time that I experience that again," he said as he led Draco off.  "Harry, coming?"

"In a few," Harry promised, waving at the group before disappearing again.

"Are we getting them a present?" Dennis asked.

"We probably should," Dean said, still in shock.  Neville squeaked.  "Neville?"

"Ron just kissed Draco Malfoy," he said, his voice still squeaky.  "Draco Malfoy was pregnant."  He sat down.  "The world's going to end, isn't it?"

Hermione got him standing and patted him on the back. "It's all right, Neville.  He's changed.  I saw him joking with Ron instead of picking on him," she soothed.  "It'll be fine and Harry can always spank him if he's too naughty."

"He might like that," Dean said, blinking a few times. Then he shook his head.  "I didn't need that image.  Quick, someone give me something worse!" he ordered.

"My Uncle Mortimer once brought a dragon into Diagon and let him kidnap a girl," Ginny offered.  "He encouraged him to do it."  Everyone stared at her.  "All last born sons in the Weasley clan are cursed to be troublesome, fertile, and able to have babies the natural way.  No spells needed," she explained.  "There for a while Uncle Mortimer thought the twins were last, then he decided to warp Ron when he came.  He'll probably be up too."

"Just point out the one I'm to protect you from," Dennis promised with a grin.  "Can I have a kiss during it?"

She gave him a long look, then sighed and kissed him on the cheek.  "There, better?"  He nodded, nearly swooning.  "Good.  Go away."  He nodded, happily going back to his homework.  She looked at the older boys.  "If we do, we might want to give them something practical.  Mom'll be killing Ron soon."

They all nodded.  That made sense.  Those future orphans would need a lot of stuff when Ron's mother had to take care of them after killing all three parents.

***

Remus walked into the Headmaster's office waving his invitation.  "What's this prank?" he asked dryly.

"It's not one," Albus admitted with a hearty sigh.  "They're together and two of the three are pregnant."  Remus stopped moving, eyes wide open.  The Headmaster got up to pour him a brandy and hand it over.  "Ron's having Harry's and we're not sure about Draco's.  They're either twins of Harry's or one of each."

"Did no one ever have the birth control speech with that boy?" he demanded.

"Let me get him for you so you can yell at him yourself," Albus offered with a smirk.  At last, someone would yell at Potter for him.  Even Snape wasn't touching this one because it might upset Draco.  He summoned a house elf.  "Find Mr. Potter and have him brought up here."

Dobby nodded and went to find Harry, knowing where he was.  "Harry Potter, Uncle here to see you," he announced, breaking into their quickie between classes.  "In office."

"Really?" Ron asked as he joined them.  "Gee, sounds like Remus got his invite."  He stole Draco with a smirk.  "Have fun, Harry, and I suggest you put that away," he said with a nod at the hard cock that was sticking out of Harry's pants.  "Draco, would you like some soothing?" he asked with a smirk.  "You look like you could use a few good massages."  He took Harry's place and went back to what they'd been doing.

Harry trudged into the office. "You couldn't wait for ten more minutes?" he complained. "I was in the middle of making Draco fly again."

"He has a broom," Remus said firmly.  He glared at his nephew.  "We will be talking, young man."

"Sure, Uncle Remus."  He sat down, this looked like one of those talks.  "Did you hear, Ron's having my baby girl."  His uncle's eyes narrowed so apparently he had heard that already.  "Draco's having twins."

"Harry, did we never tell you how to prevent that?" Remus demanded. "I know Ron's fertile, but really!"

"We used the spells and the potions, it still happened.  We're not upset about this, Uncle Remus."

"Harry, has it occurred to you that you'll have a war to fight in soon!" he demanded, his voice starting to get louder.  He didn't even notice when the Headmaster escaped.

"Yeah, and I know just what I'm going to do.  We just sent him a present of a poison.  Not that he'll realize it's slowly seeping the magic from his body, but it is."  He grinned at him.  "I'm happy, Uncle Remus.  I adore my boys.  They're mine.  I'll be protecting them and what they carry.  We'll be going to the family home by the way."

"You'll be paddled within an inch of your life!" he shouted.  "How dare you ruin your future this way, Harry!  You could still die!"

"Uncle Remus, if I die, then I know that they've got each other and the kids," he said calmly.  "You notice I'm not pregnant?"  Remus stopped and stared at him so he nodded.  "Really.  We go all sorts of ways.  Draco had my bum last night for a good, long ride.  His dad mined the snitch our last game and he came to me.  He's mine.  I know what I'm doing.  Well, my daughter was an accident during Herbology," he admitted with a sheepish grin.  "Madam Sprout interrupted so I think I botched the charm that day, but otherwise it's all been planned.  Once Draco came to us, we knew what we were going to do.  Besides, I like it when my boys play," he said with a wink and a grin.  "They're very pretty when they go at each other."

Remus covered his ears.  "I did not need to know that, Potter."

"Sorry, Uncle Remus.  Anyway, we do know what we're doing.  Draco's morning sickness started early and we've already found out how to eliminate it for him.  It seems his body wants to have more of us in it and that seems to cure it.  Ron didn't have a bit of it and he's in the horny stage so we're all good there.  The plans for the battles are going well.  Severus and I have been working on a few things together.  Hence the poison we just sent him.  Even Narcissa likes us together now that she knows what happened.  Lucius is missing a few pounds of flesh from her nails, but he's decided I'm not a bad son-in-law so he's ignoring me.  He thinks he'll be using me as a present for the Dark Lord and I'm actually using him to get closer to end this battle.  He's not real fond of me otherwise, but then again he's the one who put the fertility spell that got Draco on the snitch."

"But...but you caught that one," Remus said, looking confused.

"He told Draco he knew he wasn't going to catch it.  Draco's favorite thing is chaos," he said smugly.  "His whole house is jumping at shadows because he's had a mood swing on them," he finished with a giggle.  "During dinner no less."

It was at that point that Remus realized he had lost control of the situation.   He shook his head and rolled his eyes.  "Harry, I wish you would have thought this thru a bit further.  It's dangerous to them."

"No it's not.  Anyone who touches either of them faces me head-on and I'll be the last thing they ever see," he said dryly.  "You forget, last year I spent taking intense lessons in dueling and hexing from Professors Flitwick and Snape.  Apparently there was a great dueler in the family history."

"Your Great Uncle Alex," he agreed bitterly.  "He'd have loved you, Harry.  You're a bit like him.  He was a careless bastard too."  Harry glared at him and it nearly made him flinch.  "Fine.  You've got your plans. I just wish that reality would have intruded in on them, Harry.  This is not what a man your age needs to worry about."

"It is so," he said as he stood up, moving closer to hug him.  "Ron's my first baby.  Draco's my second one and the babies will be just as special to me.  I've got plenty of plans, Uncle Remus.  Be happy for me.  You don't have to worry about me being happy.  I've got what makes me happy.  I'm spoiling someone greatly by fucking them multiple times a day."

Remus shook his head to clear the flashback.  "I didn't need to hear that, Harry," he advised.  "I heard enough of that from your father when you were being carried."  He patted him on the back.  "Let go.  I've got things I've got to do today, including finding a gift for you three.  Any idea what you want?"

"Something pretty," he suggested with a grin.  "For the nursery.  Three kids," he said happily.

"Three?" Remus squeaked.

"Draco's carrying twins, but we're not sure if they're both mine or one's Ron's. Doesn't much matter to us, but still."  He gave him a smug look.  It almost oozed 'am I a stud or what' by his uncle's look.  "I'd better get back to Charms.  I'm hoping the other two made it there."  He left after another hug.  "See you at dinner that night," he called as he trotted off.

"You'll be seeing your father in your nightmares if I could do it," he muttered, shaking his head.  The Headmaster came back.  "I'm in control," he admitted.  "He's happy about this!  Perfectly happy!"

"He has the confidence of the young that everything will work out," Albus gently reminded him.  "I thought it was a good idea to have him learn to duel.  He seems quite a lot like his ancestor."

Remus grimaced.  "You think?" he asked dryly.  "You said the same thing about James."

"Yes, but Harry's got the power to back it up," he said wisely. "Alex would have been proud of him, even though he had children.  Alex hated children," he said at Remus' confused look.  "It's too bad he died about fifteen years ago.  He would have been the perfect person to send Harry to and to have raise him."  He sat behind the desk.  "I believe they're decorating the nursery in blues and greens if that helps.  Possibly in magical creatures."

"Fine," he said, walking out shaking his head.  He wished Sirius were here to yell at the boy.  He was the last one and he obviously wasn't getting through to him.  Maybe if he could find a medium he could call all three of them back to talk to them.  Or intervene and have Snape help him.  He turned around and headed back that way, going to talk to the cranky bastard.  He tapped on the office door, hearing him in there instead of in his classroom.  "Severus," he said when the door was opened.  "I want yo to help me call back Lilly, James, and Sirius if possible to yell at Harry.  He's not listening to me."

Severus blinked a few times, then shook his head.  "We can't."

"We can so," he snorted. "You've got talents as a medium.  We can do a seance and have them called back as spirits to torment the smug little bastard for botching up his birth control."

Snape closed his door, willing to at least hear about this.  It would make Potter miserable.

***

Ron looked around the family home, smirking at Harry.  "Who did this belong to?"

"Dad's family.  Mom's family had a home too but it burned a few years back, when I was about five."

"Who was she?  I thought she was a muggle born," Draco said, looking at the ...nice family home.  It wasn't shabby, dirty, or odd.  It looked like a normal house.

"No, she wasn't.  She was the last daughter in a line of daughters though.  Apparently her mother was not a happy camper with the family so she left.  Aunt Petunia was a squib, but Mom was a Dumass."  Draco stared at him in awe so Harry beamed at him.  "I'm compared a lot to my Great Uncle."

"You should be, you look like him a bit.  You're strong like him.  You're also as reckless as he was," Draco agreed.  "He was one of the best curse breakers ever."

"He trained Bill," Ron told him.  "When he died, Bill took his job."

"Wow," Draco said, looking at him in awe.  "Does he have anything of Alex's?  Some books maybe?  I heard he was a diarist.  They could help Harry."

"I've asked but Bill didn't write back," Ron admitted, opening the door.  "Come up.  I'll show you the nursery.  It's still dusty and nasty.  We've got to hire someone to come clean the place before we decorate."

Draco followed him up the stairs, noticing they didn't creak.  "This is well constructed."  He touched a wall, feeling the spark of magic.  "Plus very warded."

"Dad's dad was fanatical about that," Harry agreed, heading for the library.  There were books in here that he wanted.  Including one on his other family if he remembered right.  He found it and pulled it down to flip through while Ron and Draco explored the house.  He had a thought.  "Don't go into the attic," he yelled.  "There's a portal of some sort up there!"

"Yes, Harry," Draco called back.

Harry went back to his book, reading up on his relative's exploits.  They seemed a lot like the Snape's to him.  Possibly dark, but very strong and powerful.  He decided to bring that book back with him and grabbed a few more to look through.  His grandfather on this side had done some work with the Defensive Charms department when it was still active at the Ministry.  His notes were invaluable.

"Harry, we found the bed where you were born!" Ron called.  "It's marked even."

Harry decided his research could wait.  This was too special to miss.

***

Harry walked Ron and Draco into the Great Hall on their wedding night, nodding at the Headmaster, then at the teachers.  He hadn't known that Snape was able to perform bindings, but he had the book and was standing in front of them.

"As you all know," Dumbledore called, ending the chatting. "Messers Potter, Weasley, and Malfoy are being married tonight. That's why we have so many alumni in with us tonight and why those three are going to be disappearing for the rest of the weekend to a room hidden in the castle.  Now, if you'll stay silent we can get this done and on with the feast."  He sat down, nodding at Severus.

Snape coughed to clear his throat.  "Do you, Harry James Potter, take this wizard, Ronald Weasley to be your spouse?"

"I do so take him and all our family together," Harry said firmly.

"Do you also take Draco Malfoy as your spouse?"

"I do so take him as well, equal and as important to me as my Ron is.  He is mine and what's in him is mine.  Our children will be protected and loved as well."

Snape sneered at him.  "Quit ad-libbing, Potter."   He looked at Ron, who looked a bit green.  "Do you take Potter as yours?"

"I do take Harry as mine.  I also grant him rights over my body and take my due rights over his."

"Do you take Malfoy?" he demanded.

"I love to take Draco," Ron quipped, and heard his mother groan.  "Sorry.  Yes, I do take him as mine, all mine to share with Harry."

"Mr. Malfoy, are you willing to join in with this duo of lunatics?" he demanded.

"I do take them as mine and gift them with the product of my body," he said in a shaky voice.  "They are mine as I am theirs.  We are all equal and special together."  He nudged Ron.  "No more dirty thoughts," he hissed.  "My mother will want to coo."  Ron shuddered and kissed him.  Snape hit him on the head with the book.  "Sorry, sir.  Got a bit carried away," Draco panted, leaning against Ron to grin at Harry.

"Do hurry up," Harry encouraged dryly, smirking at him.

Snape glared at him and spoke slower.  "Potter, do you agree to take the children of this union, whether yours with them or theirs together, as your own?"

"They're my kids, no matter which one of us they came from originally," Harry said, making 'speed up' motions.

Draco coughed and slowly inched a hand up Harry's arm, teasing him and making him shiver.  "I do so agree to take the union of our bodies as my own, and as Malfoy heirs.  No matter which parents they come from, they're little Malfoys to me."

"Me too," Ron agreed, wanting this to be over with.

Snape glared at him this time.  "Do you also pledge to protect them as they do you?  To give up your life as necessary?"

"Nearly done that already, should be obvious," Harry and Ron said in unison, then smirked at each other and shared a kiss.  Harry beamed at Draco and kissed him as well.  He looked at Snape again.  "They're in that stage," he whispered. "Unless you want a floor show, I'd hurry up."

"I now pronounce you bound and mated."  He stepped back as they three of them kissed each other again and again.  "Enough."  Still going.  "Enough!" he yelled.  Ron started to go for a grope.  He hit Draco on the head with the book, then got Potter again.  "You have time for that later.  Do not do so in front of us."

"Especially not in class," Madam Sprout said, blushing greatly.  "Present them, Minerva?"

"I hereby do present the trio of Malfoy-Potter-Weasley and now we can eat if they'll sit down," she ordered, pointing at the special table for them.  They all sat and fed each other as soon as the food appeared.  She looked at the Headmaster.  "I think we'll have to set some rules about hallway conduct.  I walked in on them the other day, Albus.  They were using my classroom!"

"We'll talk with them later," the Headmaster agreed.  "After they're done this weekend."  He patted her on the hand.  "Severus, come sit?" he ordered. Snape moved to his usual seat and sat down.  "It's usual that we have a toast."

"To my babies," Harry called, grinning at what was his officially now.  "However should we do last names?"

"Potter-Malfoy, Potter-Weasley, and Malfoy-Weasley," Draco said with a shrug.

"Sure, Draco.  If you want," Harry agreed with a grin.  "Ron?"

"Fine with me, Harry," he agreed.  He leered at Draco.  "Hurry up so we can cut the cake and disappear."

Draco ate faster, then they ran up to the cake, cutting it and feeding each other a piece before anyone could stop them and disappearing in a flash of light from a helpful house elf or two.

"It seems they were impatient, but I'm sure they'll be back out later," Dumbledore said fondly, smiling at Molly.

"Oh, they will be," Molly promised smugly.

***

Ron met with his Uncle the next morning, after breakfast in bed being the plate, giving him a long hug.  "You managed to come and they let you bring a dragon?"

"Charlie's in charge of Norbert," he said with a grin.  "You like him that much?"

"Oh, hell yeah," he agreed happily.  "It's a girl by the way."  He patted his stomach, then his eyes widened. "I think I felt her move."

"You may have.  I know I did."  He ruffled the red hair, then winked as Harry came over to help Ron by rubbing his stomach for him.  "He said he felt her move."

"Wonderful news," Harry agreed, kissing Ron on the back of the neck.  "I should reward you for that."

"Harry, I'm still open from where you rewarded me for waking up," Ron said dryly.  "Why don't we reward Draco later?"

"Because he's sleeping again.  I just wore him out."  They both looked at where Draco was sleeping on a bench in the sun.  "He's beautiful."

"He is," Mortimer agreed happily.  "You happy, Harry?"  Harry nodded.  "Good.  Then I'll make sure Norbert leaves you three alone."  He winked at Ron.  "Remember to follow Sebastian's lead since he's the last of us who fought."

"Oh, I seem to," Ron agreed dryly.  "Where is the cranky old codger?"

"Inside giving Ginny tips on how to handle being pregnant from her boy.  Poor girl, doesn't know he adores that one himself.  He'd probably take that young man from her if he could."  He winked at Harry again.  "I'd try for you but Charlie warned me not to."

"I doubt I'd share, Uncle Mortimer," Ron said dryly, smirking at him.  "We found out something interesting.  Did you know Harry's from a Dumass line?"

"Really now?" he asked, sounding interested.  "Good.  They needed to continue.  Poor things, mostly taken by a plague."  He patted Harry on the head.  "You be good to my nephew, or you'll be facing me before you face his family.  Remember that."

"Oh, I will," Harry agreed happily.  "Where did you guys spend last night?"

"Gryffindor, like all good Weasleys do," he said smugly.  "That Granger witch is some brain.  Needs to be in Ravenclaw."

"She's our helper," Ron said proudly.

"Interesting. Maybe I should have Sebastian chat with her too.  Or do it myself," he admitted with a sly look at them.  "If she doesn't fall for Bill."  He strolled off.  "Protect what's yours, Harry.  You'll need 'em soon.  Remember, Ron, that'll be opening soon and it'll be *delicate*."

"Oh, I always do," Harry called, walking Ron back to where Draco was napping.  It was nicely centrally located so the family could find them if they wanted to.  The twins had already found them and chewed him a new one for getting Ron pregnant.  Bill was the first one who found them this morning.  "Hey, Bill, how was the party last night?" Harry asked with a gentle grin for him.

"Interesting.  Someone liquored a few of the butterbeers and handed one to Hermione.  She ended up dancing on top of a table before she flung herself at Neville and let him put her into bed. "

Ron grinned at him.  "Did you know that Alex was Harry's Great Uncle?"

"No, I didn't, but that makes sense.  He looks a lot like the git," he said with a fond grin.  "Bastard when he wanted to be too.  But that does make my present all the more important."  He pulled it out from the back of his waistband and handed it over.  "For you three 'cause I figure you'll need it.  Alex had those in his packs when he died.  They're his work diaries."  Harry looked stunned but eventually got up to hug him.  "Just remember, Harry, you protect Ron or else Uncle Mortimer won't be the first of your worries."

Harry beamed at him.  "I always protect Ron.  He's one of my favorite things.  Him, my broom, and Draco.  Not in that order," he said with a wink for Draco.

"Fine.  You behave with them.  Make this the only child from Ron or else you'll have a last born son too," he said wisely.

"One of Draco's might be mine," Ron offered.

"Hope and pray it's a girl then."

"Yeah, but then girls are worse," Ron reminded him.  "This one'll be a princess long before she knows what one is," he said with a stroke to his stomach.  "I swear, I feel her moving again."  Bill reached out a hand, then nodded.  "I am?"

"You are.  She's a strong girl, Ron, like mum.  Harry, if I find more of Alex's stuff, I'll forward it to you.  We weren't sure if there was any family left after the plague."

Harry misted up and hugged him again. "Thank you, Bill."

"You're welcome, Harry.  Now let go before you get me all damp and one of those blasted little girls coos at me again."  Harry laughed, pulling back to wipe his cheeks off.  "Yeah, you and Alex were a lot alike.  Maybe someday I'll tell you more about him.  But only if you survive the war."

"He's toast, he simply doesn't know it yet," Harry said smugly.  "Ron's an excellent planner and Draco's wicked, dirty mind is all that I needed to kick mine into high gear."  He winked at Draco again.  "Now, who's my naughty one?"

"I am," Draco said smugly, raising his hand.  "I'm the one who made him send the idiot a poison coated vial of his blood and semen.  Tainted of course," he added with his trademark smirk.

"At least you three are insane in the same way," Bill noted, heading back inside to go to breakfast.  "Charlie, they're outside.  Draco's glowing like marble, Ron's feeling his little one move, and Harry's horny."

"From what I heard, that's not a big shock," Charlie said, handing down the bowl of scrambled eggs.  "Give him your prezzie?"

Bill nodded.  "I had an old diary of Alex Dumass'.  Speaking of, Harry's of that line."

"Wow.  Small wizarding world sometimes," Charlie said smugly.  "I'll give 'em mine after I eat.  I'm sure Norbert won't have picked up a girl by then.  Doesn't seem to like them much."

"I saw Mortimer heading inside."

"Even better."  He ate quickly then went outside to find the new trio.  "Boys," he called, making them all frown at him.  "You are.  You're not fully adults yet."  He stopped to look down at them curled up together.  "Though you're close enough for this," he decided, handing over his present.  "You'll find it'll help with the babies too."

"What is it?" Ron asked as he unwrapped it.  "It's a dragon rope?"

"It's a leash for when you've got to take them into public," he said dryly.  "It's also good to teethe on and to be used as a toy."

"Thanks, Charlie," Draco said happily.  "I'm sure at least one of these children will need a leash in public."

"Probably mine," Ron agreed, smirking at his big brother.  "You wanna pat my daughter?"

"Ron, that's disgusting and I hate kids," Charlie reminded him.   "Keep the pregnant cooties to yourself."  He backed away.  "Harry, did Mortimer feed Norbert yet?"

"Hagrid did last night," Harry offered calmly.  "Does this mean you won't be babysitting?"

"Hell no," Charlie snorted.  "I hate kids."

"Which means you'll have a family like your own," Draco said smugly.  Charlie shuddered and hurried on.  Ron pinched him, making him smirk at him.  "He will."

"Only if he has them himself.  He can't date down there, complains that there's no one down there to date."

"I'm sure he'll find someone.  I know Hermione likes him," Harry said casually, kicking back and relaxing.  "Okay, we've had Mortimer, Bill, Charlie, and the twins so far.  Who's next?  Wanna take bets?"

"I believe I see my mother," Draco offered, pointing her out as she came out the front door.  "She's got that determined look so apparently my father kept her up all night again."   He waved his mother closer, smiling at her. "Hi, mum."

"Draco, that is not how you address me."

"I'm one now too," he reminded her, stroking his stomach.  "Twins, mum."

"Yes, I heard," she said grimly, handing over a package.  "It's shrunken.  It's got all of your baby clothes in it plus the heirloom blankets and such.  Open it when you get home."

"Thank you, Narcissa," Ron said softly, smiling at her. "It's a thoughtful gift.  I know Draco wants to turn all three kids into Slytherins."

She snorted.  "He had better at least have one who is.  It's a family tradition.  That will be the Malfoy heir."

"Mother, they're all Malfoy heirs as far as I'm concerned," Draco said quietly.  "Even Potter's daughter that Ron's carrying.  They're all mine, like I said yesterday."

She pursed her lips. "We'll discuss this later, Draco."

"Mother, there's no discussion on this subject.  Besides, by the time they're sorted there's every chance you won't be around to cry when they all turn into Gryffs or all turn into Slytherins."

"The hat wobbled on me," Harry admitted.  "I had to beg and plead not to be one."

"Your Great Uncle was one until he was kicked out for being such a good shag with everyone in the tower," Draco told him.

"Harry, you're not going back to those bloody relatives of your ever the fuck again," Ron said firmly, startling Draco and Narcissa.  "I don't care if they suddenly become saints or some such.  You're never going back.  If they so much as talk to you, I'm having Snape destroy them.  He will you know."

"He won't," Draco said dryly.

"He would if he knew," Ron told him, eyes narrowed.  "Trust me on this."  He looked at Harry again.  "Promise me, Harry."

"You mean I can't tell them the good news?" Harry asked dryly, smirking at Ron to diffuse the quick temper.

"Harry, would you like to explain why Ron just went into a panic?" Draco suggested calmly.

"I'll tell you some day," Harry told him.  He looked at Ron.  "I don't plan on going back ever, Ron.  You know that."

"Promise me, Harry."

"Fine, Ron, I promise.  Unless there's no alternative I won't even talk to them."  Ron relaxed and nodded.  "You get to tell Draco why."

"Fine," Ron agreed.  He looked at their other husband.  "Harry's relatives are worse than your house believes that muggles can be."

"That's possible?" Narcissa asked.

Ron nodded, still looking at Draco.  "Not even the fat, stupid, lazy bastard that's his cousin can live up to the stereotypes you guys put on them he's so far beneath them."

"Maybe we should pay a visit then, simply to tell them the good news," Draco said.

"No.  We're not going," Ron said firmly.  "We went once.  Ask the twins or mum.  They all remember that day."

"Ron, calm down," Harry said, trying to keep him calm.  "We never have to go back to Privet Drive again if we don't want to.  Not even to destroy the house while they're in it."  Ron nodded, relaxing against his side.  "Sorry about that, mum, but he's a bit strong on that point.  I agree, but I don't care enough at the moment to care."

"Why?" Narcissa asked.

"Think about it, Narcissa.  What would make me, Harry Potter, into a perfect Slytherin?  What would make the hat waver so much that I had to beg and plead not to go there?"

She swallowed.  She knew, or at least she had an idea.  "Very well.  I'll leave that in your hands.  Son, I will expect you home for dinner after school ends."

"Of course, mother.  Or you could come to our place," he offered.  "How's dad taking it?"

"He's drunk, Draco.  Still."  She walked off, going to talk to her husband.  Maybe she could goad him into using those muggles for now.

"Ron, she's going to get my father to deal with them," Draco announced.

Ron shrugged.  "That's too good for them in my opinion."

Draco nodded once and looked at Harry.  "Should I try to stop him?"

Harry shrugged.  "I don't care.  They're protected in their home."

"Fine," Draco decided.  He'd be staying out of that one.  Or at least he'd be asking Molly Weasley when his mates weren't around.  He noticed one of the Slytherins coming their way.  "There's Pansy.  Ooh, and Greg and Vince are coming too.  They just came out the door," he noted.  He got comfortable again, putting his head into Ron's lap.  Ron's hand automatically came down to stroke through his hair.  "That's nice.  Keep doing that."

"Sure, Draco," Ron agreed lightly.  He smiled at the people walking up to them. "He's not napping, just enjoying it," he offered when they stared at them.

"You corrupted Malfoy," Pansy accused.  "We don't like you, Potter."

"Do I care?" Harry asked.  "Draco's allowed to have his friends.  We won't keep him from hanging out with you guys."

"Slytherins don't hang out," Draco noted, looking up at Pansy.  "I'm happy.  You're blocking my sunlight."  She moved.  "Thank you.  Did you come out here to complain, wish us well, or tell me that I'm kicked out of the house?" he asked, closing his eyes again.

"No, we decided we're not shunning you," Vincent Crabbe said quietly.  "Are you really okay, Draco?"

"We stopped the morning sickness, I'll be fine," Draco said happily enough.  "Ron, there's an itchy spot just an inch back.  Would you mind?"  Ron scratched it for him, making Draco sigh and stretch.  "That's nice.  Thank you."

Goyle looked at Potter.  "We really don't like you but if Draco does and it's obvious he does, then we'll not stand in your way or get in your thing with him unless he needs us to step in and kick your ass."

Harry nodded and shrugged. "Okay.  Thanks.  I'd expect it if I ever hurt him."

Pansy looked stunned.  "You don't care?" she demanded.

"No, I have no plans of hurting or using Draco.  He came to us, Parkinson.  I like that about him.  He makes his own decisions and he lives with them.  Draco is now mine and I take care of what's mine, but that doesn't mean he's not allowed friends.  I learned that lesson when Ron and I started to date."

"Fine," she agreed.  "As long as you know.  Draco, the whole house chipped together to get you some baby clothes.  There's even the cutest little black velvet cloaks for them."  Draco grinned at her.  "We'll bring them to Potter's room if you don't want to come down and get them."

"No, I'll be back Monday night for them and to spend some time with you guys," he promised.  "Thank you, Pansy."

"Not an issue," Goyle promised.  "You're really happy?"

"I'm really happy.  Harry and Ron take better care of me than I was doing and they care more than my parents do."

"Fine," Crabbe agreed.  "As long as they continue that trend."  The three Slytherins walked away together.

"If you three wanted to, we'd help you plan how to get together," Ron called after them, smirking at them when they all turned shocked looks on him.  "It was kinda obvious, Parkinson."

"We've already got our planned.  We're waiting like most students until we graduate," Goyle said with a smirk as he walked his mates into the school.

"That is one scary trio, and they once offered me a place in it," Draco announced.  "Pansy's got this leather outfit that she wears around them.  Goyle likes to be spanked."

"We didn't need to know that," Harry said, breaking into any further thoughts of that nature.  "Oh, Merlin, please, take that image from my head?"  Ron kissed him, making him go limp and moan.  "Mmm, better, thanks, Ron," he said with a sappy grin.  "Draco, want one?"

"I'd have to move for that," he said, shifting slightly to get the fingers in a different spot and to move his legs so they'd wake back up.  "I'm liking this."

"We could do this in our bed," Ron suggested.  He leered down at Draco.  "I could even pet you better there."

"We said we'd be out here so no one had to find us," Draco reminded him.  "Just another hour, until after breakfast is over with, then we'll go hide again until dinner."

"Okay," Harry agreed happily, breaking into Bill's present to start reading.  "Wow.  It starts off with a date and how he just got done with a set of quads.  Two boys and two girls."

"So that's where you get it from," Draco said with lazy sensuality.

"You know, I bet Snape knows more about that family," Ron said suddenly.  "He knew a lot about dueling."

"True," Harry agreed.  "I'll talk to him later this week, after I go through this diary."  He flipped the page to the next entry.  "Hmm, a witch and a belly dancer.  I didn't know they slept around."

"In the same person or different?" Draco asked, holding out a hand.  Harry handed it over with a smirk.  "He must have been about sixty at the time," he said in awe.  "He could still do two women at once at that age?"  He handed it back.  "I want to learn more about him too."

"Sure, we'll research him together," Harry agreed with a grin for Ron.  "We'll ask Hermione if she knows any books about him."

Ron smirked.  "Like she doesn't have the entire contents of that library memorized."

"Then we'll have her pull them for us," Harry said with a grin and a shrug.

"Or you could ask me yourself," Snape said from behind them.  The three men grinned at him. "I assume you're talking about your Great Uncle Alex, Potter?"  He nodded, holding up the diary.  "Bill's present?"  Harry nodded again, looking expectant.  "I did meet the man.  He could be cold and cutting at times, but not bitter.  He had a dry wit and skills that most wizards could only beg and plead or make dark deals for."  He handed over a book of his own.  "A family history.  I thought it might amuse your... mates to see what you could turn into."

"I doubt I'm going to be doing different people each night," Harry said dryly, but he was smiling.  "Thank you, Professor Snape.  It's a very thoughtful gift."  He flipped through that one.  "Hey, his grandmother was great in defense."

"He also wrote some books on curse breaking," Snape admitted.  "They're in the charms section of the library."  He crossed his arms.  "Are you ill, Mr. Malfoy?"

"No, sir, just comfortable," he said happily.   "Ron is a good pillow and he pets me very well."  Harry and Ron snickered.  "Not that way, you two bloody pervs," he said tolerantly.  "At least not in public or at the moment."

"Do try to keep it out of the public's view," Snape ordered before walking off.  At least they were going to treat Draco well.  Anything else and he'd have to step in and kill them.  Which was a happy thought but he'd probably die from it when Draco found out.   He nodded at Molly as he walked past her in the halls.  "They're outside lounging in the sun.  I just gave Potter a book on the Dumass clan."

"Interesting," she agreed with a smile.  "I knew Alex, met him a few times."

"We were related," Snape admitted, turning to look at her.  "As is Potter."

"That makes so much sense," she sighed, shaking her head.  "That poor thing."  She walked out, going to talk to her wayward children.  She found Harry now lounging in Ron's lap and Draco curled up against Ron's side while they read the book together.  "Quite comfy?"

"Very," Harry agreed with a grin for her. "Hi, mum."

"Harry, I didn't give birth to you."  He pouted at her so she relented.  "You may call me that as long as Ron is taken care of in a manner I deem more than appropriate.  If he's so much as upset..."

"Then he can go mood swing on the Slytherins again," Harry said with a grin, smirking at Ron when he poked him.  "You did."

"I might have, but they've been good to all Gryffs since then."

"That's because you made Pansy cry," Draco said dryly.   "It took Crabbe and Goyle nearly an hour to get her calmed down again."  He looked at Molly.  "Should I call you Molly, or mother?"

"Mum is fine, Draco.  I know they dragged you into this."

He snorted, shaking his head.  "I asked, I didn't get dragged anywhere.  I knew what I was doing when I went to Harry and Ron's room."

She looked stunned, then sighed.  "Fine.  If you're sure.  Ron, I pulled out our cradle, it's in need of refinishing but I think we can do that soon enough.  Did you want us to keep it at our house or are you going to need at the new one?"

"The nursery's got one large crib," Ron said thoughtfully, looking at Draco, who shrugged.  "How about we leave it at your place for now, Mum.  Since mine's going to be about four months older I'm not sure if we can put them all together or not.  Besides, this way they can come visit and take naps while you explain things to me, like how to soothe tummies."

She nodded. "That's fine.  As long as you do the actual raising."

"Mum, I'm not letting you turn my daughter into Ginny," he said dryly.  She frowned at him. "I'm not.  Think about it, mum, she'll be worse than the twins probably."

"Once she starts that, one of you will be coming over with her," she said smartly.  He nodded, grinning at her, knowing she didn't mean a word of it.  "As long as you're happy."

"We are," Harry agreed, grinning up at her.  "How did you get Percy to come?"

"We invited him and he made the decision."  She handed her son an envelope.  "From your father and I, to start school funds."  She left them there, going back inside to sob on her husband's shoulders.  Her son was married and pregnant!

Ron glanced inside, then whistled and tucked it into Draco's pocket.  "Hold that for me so I don't lose it."

"Sure, Ron," he agreed, tucking it further inside and doing a sticking charm on it.  "It's really sunny out here."

"We've only got Percy, the Gryffs, and Hermione," Harry reminded him.  "Unless your father's going to come out."

"If he does, you can duel him," Draco said with a wave of his hand.  "He'd deserve it."

"Deal," Ron agreed, going back to reading this new book.  It was kind of fascinating.  Harry's maternal line had been like the Snapes and bigger bastards at time.  "Hey, they were rich," he said in awe.  "Harry, you might have to do something about that."

"We might," Harry agreed.  "I don't know how though."

"Ask Dad, he'll help," Ron offered.  "He'd love to help because it'd mean we'd be taken care of."

"Sure, Ron.  Anything for you two."  He wiggled his head until he was more comfortable. "Your thigh's really well muscled, Ron."

"I try, Harry. It's all that running after you."

Harry smirked up at him.  "Not this time."

"Nope, not this time.  This time I'm going to be fat and round, and decorating."  He grinned at Draco.  "You may be able to run after him."

"No thanks.  I saw the bastard and he's not worthy of my pissing on him."

"Hmm, true," Harry agreed.  "Think I could do that and kill him with it?"

"Only if you drink a lot and then light him on fire," Ron offered.

"I could probably do that too," Harry agreed happily.  "Thanks, Ron, needed that idea."

Ron and Draco both snorted and rolled their eyes.  Harry and his ideas.

***

Later that night, Draco was exploring Ron's body and found the small opening starting behind his balls.  "What's this?"

"Birth canal," Ron said grimly.  "It'll be fully open before the birth and then it'll disappear until I need it again."  He shivered when Draco's fingertip, all that would fit into it, teased him.  "Draco," he moaned.  "Please."

Draco smirked at him and bent to lick the hard cock while his finger played.  "I like that," he said between licks.  "Soon I'll have that part of you too, Ron."

Ron moaned and shifted, but Harry kissed him and Draco continued.  He went limp, letting them play.  Draco went down to tongue it for a few minutes then went back to his playing with the cock and the hole.  "Draco, please," he whined.  Draco shifted up, rubbing his own cock against that spot, making Ron whimper.  "Please?"

"It's not deep enough for that.  I guess I'll just have to use the one you've already got open."  He slid into the one he had prepared earlier, after their baths, going as slowly as he could to draw it out.   Harry licked his finger and came down to help with that, sucking on Ron's cock at the same time.  Ron let out a squeal and arched up but his husbands had complete control of his pleasure.  This was torture!  He was going to die from this!  "Shh," Draco ordered.  "Don't want to bring someone else running to help."  He shoved back in harder the next time, making Ron arch off the bed.  "Let us, Ron. You deserve being pleasured that way.  You've done it to me enough times."

Harry smirked up at Draco.  "Keep it up, and I'll be doing it to you once Ron's passed out."

Draco shivered and worked himself harder.  "Will I have one of those?"

"Nope.  That's a special part of the last son curse on the Weasley clan," Harry told him.  "You'll have a different way of our twins coming out."  He kissed him then went back to teasing Ron until he gave up and came with a scream of pleasure.  As soon as they had Ron tucked in, Harry pounced Draco.  "Your turn," he said smugly. Draco shivered but let Harry have his body any way he wanted.  He had been trained to be still if he was on the bottom of the relationship and Harry made it seem much better than the others did.  His mother would be proud.  Harry had his ass and his soul now instead of just having his ass.

***

Ron walked into a room he had never thought to visit again.  "Professor, can I ask you for a favor?" he asked quietly, glancing around the empty classroom.

Professor Snape gave him a dry look.  "What sort of favor, Weasley?"

"I want you to do the checking charm on Draco to see which one of us is the father of the twins."  Snape looked stunned.  "I don't want to go to Madam Pomfrey for this.  She considers this some sort of perversion between us.  She's already told Draco that he should terminate and to do the 'right thing' in this case.  He's not in any danger.  Harry heard that and had him drug to the hospital just in case, but they never thought to see what they were or whose they were.  I'd like to know so I can tell my mum and dad."

Snape considered it.  It was a minor favor.  "You can't do it yourself?"

"I'm scared of botching it," Ron admitted.  "I thought I had when I did it on myself.  Besides, my magic's going odd and Harry doesn't seem to want to know beyond the sex."

"Fine, I will do so.  It can only make Mr. Malfoy happy."  Ron beamed and started to move closer. "If you attempt to hug me, I shall have to kill you, Weasley," he warned.  Ron gave him a sheepish grin and nodded before leaving.  Snape relaxed and rang for a house elf.  "Find me Malfoy, send him down here so I may speak to him."  The house elf nodded and left to deliver the message.  Soon Draco walked in, looking curious.  "Weasley let slip about what happened with Pomfrey.  Are yo all right, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Fine, sir. Thank you.  You called me out of Transfiguration for that?"

"No, Mr. Weasley also asked me to do the charm to check the children for him."  Draco's face lit up and he nodded, stripping off his robe so he could take off his shirts.  "That's not necessary."

"It is so, the charm works better on bare skin," Draco noted, shivering in the cool room as he stepped forward.  "Please?"

Snape cast the small charm under his breath, noticing the glow around the stomach.  "They're both boys."  Draco all but danced.  "And they're one of each," he finished.  Draco stopped to stare at him in shock and a bit of awe.  He nodded. "You can tell them or not, but Weasley said he wanted to know so he could tell his parents."

"Thank you," he said, lunging over to hug him.  "You're the best."  He sniffled as he hurriedly put back on his clothes and headed back to his class.  He smiled at the teacher when she frowned at him. "It's all right, he wanted to check on me."  He sat down between his husbands and smiled at them.

"Well?" Ron demanded quietly.

"You may as well announce it," McGonagall said dryly.  "What are they?"

"Boys and they're one of each," Draco said, smiling at his men.  Harry passed out and Ron turned pale but managed to stay awake.

"So, in another eleven years we'll have a Weasley son," she said, smirking at Ron.  "The first or the last, Mr. Weasley?"

"I don't know, ma'am, but if it happens it does."  He kissed Draco soundly, then Harry when he started to come around.  "Oh, that's good news," he said happily.  "It's a boy."

Hermione patted him on the back.  "Relax, Ron, you three can celebrate later."  She turned her attention back to the teacher.  "Professor, can we move onto clothing now?" she asked.

"Of course, Miss Granger.  Thank you for reminding me where we were."   She started back in the lecture again, going over how to change a hemmed area down, like to lower a bustline or a waistline.  She noticed the wicked look just before Harry's wand flicked at Draco and he squeaked, grabbing his ass.  "Ten points from Gryffindor for making his pants cheekless, Potter," she ground out.

"Oh, damn, these are the only ones I have," Draco hissed, swatting Harry.  "Fix it."

"She hasn't told us how to do that yet," Ron said helpfully.  He looked at the teacher, who moaned and started to open her mouth but the gong rang and she shooed them out with a smirk on her face.

"I can't go out like this!"

"Your robe covers it," Hermione reminded him.  "You've got Herbology next anyway.  Then you can change."

"I don't have anything else clean," Draco said frantically.  "I can't go out like this!"  He refused to move, even when Harry and Ron stood up and tried to help him up. "No, I can't go out there like this!  How dare you do this to me!"

"Shh, Draco. You've got a pair of jeans," Harry soothed.  "Come on, I'll help you find them. And if not, you can wear some of Ron's or mine."  Draco pouted but he followed Harry back to their room while Ron went to Herbology and tried to explain what had just happened.  They all heard McGonagall burst out laughing once they were gone.  Harry walked behind Draco.  "You know, I like that look on you.  Your robe highlights the best parts of your bum."  Draco glared at him and Harry smirked.  "Sorry, Draco.  I won't do it again."

"You'd better not or you're buying me new clothes, Potter," he said firmly.  He noticed Crabbe and Goyle staring at him.  "What?" he demanded.  "He just had an accident in Transfiguration."

"I accidentally removed some of the material from his pants," Harry said with a shrug as they headed up the main stairs.

"Where do you think you're going?" Flitwick demanded.

"To get him into pants that have an ass in them?" Harry suggested as they moved past him.  "My error in transfiguration, professor, sorry."

Flitwick looked stunned, then burst out in giggles, heading back to his room before anyone else could catch him giggling in the halls.

"You know, this gives me wonderful access to your bum," Harry said, reaching up under the robes to touch the cool globes of his bum.  "Hmm, you're chilly.  Hurry up so I can warm you up."

"I'm trying," Draco ground out.  "Get your hand off my butt cheeks."  Harry gave him one last caress then let him go slowly.  "Thank you."  They walked into their room and he slammed the door in Harry's face.  Harry came in a moment later and kissed him, getting down to pleasure him and show him how wonderful pants like that were.  "Now is not the time for this!" he said frantically.

"It's always the time for this," Harry said smugly, one finger sneaking up to play with the exposed flesh and what was hidden between them.  "I like these on you, Draco.  It gives me wonderful ideas and access."  Draco moaned, caught up in what the finger and Harry's breath were doing to his body.  "Should I get you redressed or give you more?"

"Just something quick," he ground out.  "That way we don't get into too much trouble."  Harry dove down to pleasure him, making him whimper and cease caring about how his ass was exposed in these pants.

***

The time moved forward for the boys, happy enough in their own little world.  Ron's baby had been born and scared Draco to no end but Harry had soothed him and Ron told him it wasn't so bad.  So when Draco went into labor, he wasn't sure why Harry took him into the bathroom.  "Don't I get a nurse?" he demanded.

"Once you're clean," he soothed, putting on the enema nozzle they'd found in a closet.  "Now, bend down, let me do this right so you don't have any problems."

"How are they getting out?" Draco demanded.  Harry turned him around and stripped his pants off him, then wiggled a finger up into him, touching a spot that had made him wonder before.  "What's that?"

"The birth canal's opening," he soothed.  "Let me clean you out so the babies don't have problems, Draco."  He got a shiver in response so he tested the water before moving it up him and flipping the switch to activate the nozzle.  They'd played with enemas before to get Draco ready for this, even though he hadn't realized, but now Draco was into it.  At least until the next pain hit, then he tensed up again and Harry had to stroke and soothe him.  He got Draco cleaned out and then cleaned up before taking him upstairs to the infirmary.  "All clean," he announced.  The mediwitch gave him a long look.  "I helped Ron deliver his, I can help Draco if I must.  But could you please call Molly and his mother?  She demanded to know when."  He helped Draco up onto a bed and out of his clothes, covering him with a sheet.  "Now, Draco.  Your water will be breaking soon.  When it does, I want you to let me know.  After that, the babies will come and you'll want to push.  I want you to push."

"I have to pee," he said quietly, staring at Harry.

"Let me get a urinal for you."  He went to retrieve one, coming back to help him use it.  Then it was put aside as Draco had another one.  "This'll be just like earlier, only it'll be a harder push to clean it out.  Then we'll put you in a bath and that spot'll close up again," he soothed as Draco came down.  Madam Pomfrey came in and he gave her a look.  "Helping?"

"Yes, I am.  You are not qualified to deliver them yourself, Mr. Potter.  No matter what you may think."

"Will this hurt?" Draco panted as another one hit him.

"Probably," Harry admitted.  "You're allowed to yell and scream at me and you should probably be stretched.  Want me to do that?"

"It's not necessary.  The babies will do that."

"I'd rather not have him rip," Harry said, glaring at her.  "Would you mind calling his doctor and Snape as well?"  She left and his fingers drifted down.  "Let me stretch you a bit, Draco.  It'll make it easier."  Draco clutched his shirt as a finger entered him.  "Shh, you're doing fine. You're beautiful and it's going well.  Within a few hours you'll have two sweet little boys in your arms," he said soothingly, continuing to stretch him.  When Snape came into the cubicle he gave him a look.  "I'm stretching him."

"As is expected," Snape agreed.  He checked Draco's stomach.  "I told her I had studied the procedures and we would be doing the birth together."  Draco nodded, sobbing as the newest one crested.  "Try to relax, Draco.  It will be soon.  Your inner canal is dilating right now.  That's where the pain's from.  Potter, continue what you're doing.  You know how large newborns are.  Twins are usually a bit smaller but he'll need as much room as you can get him."  Harry nodded, concentrating on that.  Draco whimpered.  "Try not to hit the edges of the birth canal.  Did you clean him out?"

"I did," Harry reported.  "Two warm water enemas without soap."

"Good.  That's for the best."  He smoothed back Draco's hair, staring into his eyes.  "It will be over soon.  Maybe this will not happen again."

"I was happy until this dragon shite started!" he shouted, clutching at him as an intense pain happened.  "I think something just broke."

"Your water did," Harry agreed, moving to let the fluid out.  "Soon, Draco.  I'll be helping."

"Fine," Draco panted.  "I think I need to push."  He strained and pushed but nothing seemed to happen.  "Oh, come on!  Come out already!" he whined when his second push didn't get any results.

"Push with the pain," Snape ordered gently.  Draco nodded and pushed with the next pain and this time he felt something move.  Snape checked him again.  "Hmm, there may still be a blockage.  Potter, do you have your wand on you?"

"Yes, sir."  Harry used it inside of Draco's body to test the birth canal.  Draco whimpered and tried to crawl backwards but the next pain hit and the baby started to come down now.  Harry's wand was tossed aside as the baby started to move, letting him be ready to catch him.  The first came out and he quickly move it out of the way, letting Snape cut the cords while he caught the second.   "Excellent, Draco," he praised, smiling at him.  "See, it wasn't as bad as Ron's.  The shorter canal makes it go faster."

"I feel nasty," Draco said hoarsely.  He looked at the children Snape was cleaning up.  "They need baths.  I remember where they came from."

"They do," Snape agreed, taking them to personally see to that, with Weasley since he was waiting.  "Who has your daughter?"

"The Headmaster.  He's pacing with the mothers."  They got the babies into the sink and cleaned up quickly, then he took the one with dark hair out to get the mothers.  "He's fine if you wanted to come in.  It went quickly."

"Did he tear?" Narcissa demanded.

"No, I stretched him," Harry said, grinning at the boy in Draco's arms.  "Is that one mine or Ron's, Professor?"

Snape cast the parentage charm on it then smirked. "That one is Weasley's.  The other is yours."  He took the baby to hold, cooing at it.  "I see you do like one best?"

"Well, Draco's got him and Ron's about to take his.  Then we'll switch," Harry said as he checked over the babies.  They switched and he cooed at the other one, making it look confused but it was alright in his book.  "Yes, hello, I'm one of the daddies, little Damien Weasley.  And that's your brother Howell Potter.  Yes, you'll be happy with your sister Andrea."  He kissed the baby on the head, then held him out.  "Want to hold him, mums?"  Narcissa took him and Molly took the other, and they both looked at the other babies.  "No daughter?"

"The Headmaster wasn't in the hall," Ron said with a shrug.  "I doubt it was a real problem."

"No, he went to get McGonagall probably," Snape agreed.  "Mr. Malfoy, would you like to be cleaned up?"

"Yes, please," Draco ordered weakly.

"C'mon, Draco.  We'll go take a bath.  I know it made me feel better," Ron soothed, helping him up.  "We'll keep Harry away from there for a few weeks," he soothed.

"Please.  I'm sore."

"Of course you are," Ron agreed. "So was I.  Harry's tongue was a great thing though and it helped me feel better, but I won't let him touch you if you don't want him to."

"We'll see.  Right now I don't want anyone to touch me or look at me," Draco said weakly.  Ron picked him up, making him squeal and clutch at him.  "Put me down!  I'm not that light!"

"You're not that heavy," Ron promised with a grin, taking him down to the Prefect's bathroom.  The students they passed stopped to watch.  "He just had the babies," he explained a few times. By the time they got to the Prefect's bathroom, it was already waiting on them and just barely above body temperature, plus it had Draco's favorite bubbles in it.  "Thanks, Headmaster," he called, knowing who had done it, or at least ordered it done.  He settled Draco into the tub and picked up Draco's sponge to work across his tired body.  "You rest, Draco.  Let me pamper you like Harry did me," he soothed. Draco nodded, his eyes drifting shut.  "You're wonderful.  The babies are healthy and perfect.  You're beautiful and I'm proud of you."

"I'm still not doing more than blowing you for the next few months," he said dryly.

"Not an issue," Ron promised.  "Whenever you're ready, we are.  I can keep Harry satisfied until you're ready to be touched, or even let you have Harry's ass again," he promised.  "I know he liked it the last time you did.  The babies kicked him while you were leaned over his back and he grinned up at me."  Draco let out a slight chuckle, sleepy sounding noise that Ron knew meant he was nearly asleep.  "Dream of the boys protecting Andrea, Draco," he whispered.  "They're going to protect and love her until she whines about not being able to date a real boy."  Draco nodded, falling asleep under Ron's skillful touches.   Ron continued to bathe all the sweat off his lover, letting him rest.  He deserved it.  He'd just had twins the hard way.   "Love you, Draco Malfoy," he whispered.  "You are Merlin's gift to wizards.  You and Harry both."  Draco shifted and got a kiss for it.  "Sleep, Draco.  You need your rest.  The babies will want to eat soon."  Draco mumbled something and Ron laughed.  "That's right, you can," he promised.  "Or we can make Harry do it."

Upstairs Harry had to resort to pouting to get his sons back.  He sat down with a bottle for each of them, casting floating charms on them so he wouldn't have to hold them.  He looked over as his daughter came back.  "Finally here, huh?" he asked her, grinning at her.  "These are your brothers.  I'll expect you to be nice to them and not beat them up all the time, Andrea.  Think you can do that for the daddies?"  She babbled and cooed, wiggling in the Headmaster's arms.  "Shh, daddy will hold you in a minute, let the twins have some nummies first," he soothed, leaning over to kiss her.  She scowled at him so he grinned.  "That's my baby girl," he praised.

She grinned and kicked at the Headmaster's stomach, liking this a lot.  Let the others have the daddy.  They were her new toys.  The other daddy had said so.

***

Harry and Ron looked at each other, then let out a whimper.  "ALEX!" they yelled in unison.   He came jogging up the pathway.

"This thing is perverted," Ron said, pointing at the mirror they were in front of.  "It just showed me preggers!"

"It just showed the two of us and Draco in a three-way with Draco and Ron pregnant," Harry corrected, his eyes wide.  He didn't know you could do some of those things.

Alex Dumass, curse breaker and all around bad guy to evil things, scratched the back of his dark hair while he read the words on the mirror.  "Huh.  It's a mirror of alternate realities."

"If that really happened somewhere, I'm going to puke," Ron announced.  "I feel sorry for the me there.  Having to be married to Harry and the git you took in.  Plus, kids?"  He shuddered.  "I had a birth canal!  It appeared!  Like a girl, Alex!"

Alex gave him a long look.  "You know, with the curse on your family's last born son, it's entirely possible, Ron.  Fortunately you like girls."  He smirked at him.  "Leave the mirror alone, boys.  Come on."  They nodded, following him back so they could forget that horrifying experience.  They both looked at Draco when they caught up with him.  Then they both shuddered.

"What did you say to them this time, Alex.  I told you I'm not sleeping with your grandson, no matter how much it might help him."

"No, they were just in front of a mirror of alternate realities."

"You were pregnant by the both of us with twins."

"How did you get that scar on just above your left buttcheek?" Harry asked.  "It looked like one of those that comes with a story."

Draco gave him a long look, then shook his head.  "I fell out of a tree when I was five.  The branch got me."  He looked at Alex.  "Can we destroy that one?"

"No," he snorted.  "But we can find a way to give it to Sev," he said with a mean smirk.

"As long as he doesn't see the reality we just did, I'd be glad to never see it again," Ron agreed.

"Me too," Harry said, nodding hard.  "It was odd seeing us fuck Draco into the bed night after night while he was having our twins.  Or while Ron was having my daughter."

"Are you sure we can't destroy it or send them there?" Draco asked, staring at his lover.  Alex nodded.  "Absolutely certain?"

"Oh, Alex, if we could use it, the war's still going on over there but apparently you died in that attack instead of being deaged.  They were trying to turn the me there into you.  Snape was helping."

"I'll see if I can't copy some books and send them over," he agreed dryly.  He patted them on the back of their heads.  "Let's heft the rest of these boxes up to the surface and then we'll figure out how to move the mirror."  They nodded, getting back to work.

"How would a male give birth?" Draco asked.

"In the case of most of the spells that can do that, a small canal is opened from your anal tract to the womb," Alex explained.  "How was the spell done?"

"Lucius mined the snitch with it," Ron offered as he came back.  "Then he insulted Draco and that's why he came to us."

"To cause chaos, I have no doubt of that," Alex said dryly, smirking at his nephew.  "Did he shit out the twins?"  They nodded and shuddered again.  "It's okay."

"Hey, I grew a real one," Ron said bitterly.

"Again, you like girls so it's not a problem, Ron," Alex reminded him.  "Get back to work for now and then you can get drunk to forget it."  They nodded, working faster so they could do something about that mirror.

***

"Severus," Alex called as he and Draco carried the mirror down the hallway of the school.  "Open up!"  The classroom's door opened and the Potions master got out of their way.  "The boys found this.  It shows alternate realities.  Want to keep this for us and study it as a project?" he asked with a grin.  "It's fantastic.  I saw one last night where I had decided to play pro and was still living.  I got to raise Harry from day one."

Snape gave him a long look, then a shrug. "It would have entertainment value I suppose."

"Weasley and Potter saw one where we were a trio and Weasley and I were pregnant," Draco told him.

"Or nightmares," Snape noted, looking at Alex, who nodded.  "Fine. Put it in my office.  That way no Hufflepuffs can find the thing."  They nodded, picking it up and moving it again.  "Can't use magic on it?"

"I'm not sure it won't open a portal to there," Alex admitted as they tucked it into a bare corner.  They wiped off their sweaty faces.  "Have fun, tell me what you figure out."  He patted his son on the arm as he walked away.  "Come on, Draco, so I can make you pretty and clean again."

"Yes, Alex," he sighed, but he was leering at his lover's back.  Bathing was always fun with Alex.

Snape walked up to where the mirror was, looking for any further inscriptions.  He cast a light spell behind him, just in case there might be some magic restrictions around it, and the mirror came to life.  He stepped back but watched as another version of him walked up the halls.  He noticed his robes were a bit looser and that he was walking oddly.  "What is going on?" he muttered, stepping a bit closer to get a better look.  The mirror reached out and sucked him in, only letting him get out a squeak.  He found himself in the other body, and now he knew why he was walking funny.  He was pregnant.  The startling fact happened and he had to shudder.  It was Potter's child.

"Are you all right?" a quiet voice asked from the shadows.  "You looked like you shivered."

"No, I'm fine," he found himself saying, having to watch as his body did odd things with Potter's.  He couldn't control it and he couldn't make it back away from the other man.  And Potter was a man in this one.  Clearly beyond his education.   Potter put a hand on his stomach and he felt the baby he carried kick.  He would have to get Alex back for this.  Even if he didn't know, he would be dying horribly at his hands.

"Fuck, Sev, you're magnificent like this," Potter breathed, bending to kiss him again, one hand still stroking his stomach. "I'm so glad you agreed to do this for me."

"NOOOOOOO!" Severus Snape yelled and found himself expelled from the mirror, until a new image started and pulled him back.  This time he was with Malfoy and they were both naked and sweaty, while the other Death Eaters looked on.

"Yes, they will make the perfect vessels for the seeds to grow," the Dark Lord was saying as Lucius worked his spell in the corner.

Severus could feel the appliance in his body and he knew Draco had one as well, somehow he was sure of it, and that in the corner Lucius was mixing the ingredients together to insert into the other end of the appliances.  He and Draco would be carrying the first children of the next generation.  Not Voldemort's since his seed was dead.  That's why Lucius was mixing someone else's with the Dark Lord's.  So the taint would go onto the child but the father would be whoever had the live sperm going into the other ends.  That left out most of the senior death eaters, but he knew that at least one of them would be from Lucius' line.  He remembered watching as the same thing was done to two captive witches the night earlier to make sure it had worked.  He struggled to get free of this body but it held him tighter.  Apparently this version of him needed his help to steady him mentally.  Then maybe he could be released.

Lucius stepped up and moved closer.  "This one," he said, holding one vial aloft, "is Draco's.  The other is Severus' own, Lord.  Are you ready?"

"Do it," he ordered, watching like the pervert he was as Lucius poured the mixture into the correct device with a smirk.  "Now, you are bound.  Severus, take good care of your boy because I will be watching over you two and your children.  They are mine as well," he noted.

"Yes, Lord," he and Draco panted.

"Finish this, boy.  Please your new master."

Draco shifted up again, pleasing Severus so they could get off and the spells would be set and permanent.  Severus tried to hold on but Draco was skillful and wonderful at making him come.  He panted in Severus' ear.  "I'm yours, Sev.  Pleasure me finally," he pleaded.  Severus found his hand moving down to stroke the aching cock, releasing the ring on it.  The boy bit his lip and arched up into his hand.  "Please, please, let me come!" he shouted.

"Come," he ordered quietly.  Draco complied then went limp across his chest, giving it little kitten licks.  "Good boy, Draco."  He stroked the shivering shoulders.  "Get him something to cover him before he catches cold.  That would kill him at the moment."  A robe was put across them and he held still while he felt the spell go through his body.  He finally felt it take and let out a deep sigh.  It was done.  Draco shivered as the appliance was removed by their Lord's hands, as they had been inserted, and Severus held still while his was moved.  Well, it was twisted around a bit first and then removed.  "Thank you.  May we retire?"

"It is your honeymoon," Lucius sneered.  "Why my son chose this position instead of the glory he could have had, I'm not sure.  He deserves better."

Severus stood up and grabbed the dagger they had used earlier to do the blood binding their Lord demanded, stabbing Lucius with it in the chest.  "So I could do that for him," he sneered as his former friend died.  He helped Draco up and around his father's dead body, taking him to a room in the mansion they were using this month.  He had been correct, this was their honeymoon night.  "I'm sorry I did that in front of you."

"I'm not," Draco said smugly.  "Thank you.  It saved me from doing it.  How do you feel?  We bear the next Dark Lords in our bodies, twins born of the blood and the power of magic."  He moved closer.  "Will you believe me now, Severus?"  He stroked his sweaty chest.  "See, I do know what I had planned when I suggested this."

Severus kissed him.  "That is true, you did, my dragon.  Come, we should rest."

"Fuck resting. I want more.  I didn't get to have you earlier."  He put his former teacher onto the bed and gently slid into the open and waiting hole.  "Ooh, this is what I wanted for so long."

"Then hurry up so I can have mine again," Severus said dryly.

Draco leaned down to nip him.  "If you behave, I might even let you have me like you used to, Professor.  On my knees and pleading for your attentions."  He moved quickly, knowing he was tainting the spell.  His seed would overwhelm the Dark Lord's.  They would still be tainted, like Potter had been when he had been alive, but they would be the ones to rule this world after the present Dark Lord died in another ten hours.  If Severus' potion was spot on, which Draco knew it was.   He spent himself quickly, knowing that Severus would be making him pay for it.  Which he always enjoyed.   He willingly spread out for his lover, wincing as he was roughly entered, but he liked it that way. He was Snape's bitch and he enjoyed the position too much to ever go against what he wanted.  He wrapped his legs around the trim waist and pulled down the darker head to kiss him softly. "Take me, Severus, like in the old days."

"In the old days I made you ride me yourself if you wanted it that much," Severus reminded him.  "And then I would bend you over the desk to get my own pleasure."

"I remember," Draco said smugly.  "More, Sev, or should I ride you again?" he teased.

"Keep it up, I still have those toys we bought the last trip to the dark arts sex store, Draco.  I'm sure you'll love that one troll-sized one I found."  Draco moaned and let him do whatever he wanted.  "Thank you."  He made it good for the younger man, he always did.  Draco came with a scream of pleasure, his hands clawing up Severus' back.  "That's better," he said smugly.  "Want more?"

"Merlin, Severus, I always want more.  Simply give me a chance to recover," he moaned, allowing his lover to leave his body.  He curled up against his new husband's chest.  "Did you buy the normal one or the erect one?" he asked as he teased the firm chest.

"Both.  I thought they might come in handy.  Even if I did have to hand one to McGonagall so she would get the hint to leave me alone."

"That erect one was another foot longer and an extra eight inches around," Draco said thoughtfully.  "Hand her that one, Severus.  Only let me see when you do."

"My poor darkling, are you bored?" he asked, stroking over the sweaty back.  "We need to bathe."

"We can't for a whole day because of the spell.  Water will make it deactivate."

"Hmm, very well then," he decided.  He heard feet go running past and smirked at his lover.  This plan had been flawless.  Someone burst in on them and he gave them a bland look.  "Yes?"

"The Dark Lord is dying, Severus.  What was in that potion?"

"Nothing harmful unless he had some human blood left," he offered.  He sat up, bringing Draco with him.  "Should I come look at him?"

"No, the healer is," he said thoughtfully.  "You both stay in here."

"Of course.  Where else would I be going on our honeymoon?" Draco asked smugly.  He casually let one hand fall onto Severus' thigh so he could tease it.  "Wanted to watch us some more?"

"No! You two are disgusting!" he said, slamming the door.   He went to report to the healer, finding his Lord and Master already dead.  "You couldn't save him?" he demanded.

"No one could," she said with a sneer.  "He was poisoned.  Whatever he took made his blood cells explode in his body.  It was horribly painful and gruesome in my opinion."  She put her wand back in her pocket.  "Now, I'm going to leave before we have another invasion.  Where are the newlyweds?"

"In their room.  Did they do this?  Severus said it was only harmful if he had human blood still."

"It may have been.  I also heard Severus tell him that."  She walked off, going to help Severus out of there.  He was now in a fragile condition, so was Draco.  She'd be taking over their care now.  They were carrying the next Dark Lord and she knew that Draco had messed with the spell somehow.  She tapped on their door before walking in.  "Come along," she ordered.  "I'm taking you back to the school."  They nodded and grabbed their clothes from where they had taken them off earlier.   She took them back to the school and personally warded their doors so nothing and no one could harm them.   Then she took off her illusion, becoming Harry Potter as he walked up to report to the Headmistress.  She gaped and he grinned at her.  "She was pretending to be me, I kept up her disguise for the last two years," he noted.  "He's dead.  Severus and I did it together.  He's having the next Dark Lord and so is Draco.  They're in their rooms.  Ron and I are going to do the tainting ceremony now.  Need me for more?"

"No," McGonagall breathed.  "Come back soon, Mr. Potter.  Bring back my Defense teacher in one piece."

"Of course I am," he smugly agreed, going to do the ceremony with Ron and the twins.  They knew Severus and Draco could feel the taint leeching from the children's body to be replaced with the purest taint in the universe, that of love and purity.  Ginny had given some of her virgin's blood for this.  They finished and went to lie down.  It had sexually charged them but the twins weren't sleeping with Harry anymore and Ron wasn't sleeping with them at all.  So they'd have to sleep together while Harry and Ron had some spectacular sex together.

***

Severus reappeared, panting hard.  He checked his clock, only ten minutes had happened in this time but there it had been nearly a year.  He hadn't wanted to know that much about being pregnant or giving birth.  He backed away from the mirror before it could suck him in again.  He found his new wife and pounced her.  "Save me," he hissed.  "The mirror pulled me in.  I had to give birth to Draco's child.  I was pregnant with Potter's in another world."

Holly took him to their suite and laid him down on the bed, making him forget everything that had happened to him in the last six hours on this planet. "I'll protect you from Alex, Sev.  Never worry about that," she soothed as she got him out of his clothes and only cuddled him. Or at least that was her plan, just some simple cuddling, but he flipped her over and had his way with her, proving he was manly by staying on top and making her get as high as he could as many times as he could.  Apparently he had his own cure for such nightmare images.

***

Up in Hufflepuff, Ron was doing the same thing.  The images he had seen were enough to make him ill.  He had told Dawn what they had seen and she had jumped him right then and there to help him erase them.  Not even the older kids kicking them up to the upper year's common room had changed that.  Not even noticing that it had purple velvet all over and purple faux fur pillows and a globe light was enough to take his mind off Dawn's version of mental healing.  Let Harry do it his way, he had his girl for these things.

***

Harry walked back into the practice grounds pale and shaking.  Bear, one of the non- native beaters and his buddy, saw him first.  "What has happened?" he demanded.  "Were you injured?  Did someone die?"

"No," Harry said weakly, giving him a hug.  "We found a mirror of alternate possibilities.  I was shagging Ron and Draco and they were pregnant for me."  Bear looked stunned and Harry nodded.  "Yeah.  I'm going to have nightmares for weeks."

"Come, we will find Oliver and have more of that amusing fire whiskey you have around here."

"Don't we have practice?" a coach called.  "Potter, you still alive?"

"He was exposed to something that showed him alternate realities.  He was sleeping with Ron and Draco and they were having his children."

"Never mind, go have a few," the coach agreed, waving them off.  "I'll send Wood to find you two and put you both into beds at his place."  Harry ran over and hugged him, letting out a squeak of hysterical laughter.  "Bear, take him somewhere near the Leaky.  That way it's easier on Wood."

"Of course."  He led Harry off to a pub he had found, it was reasonably close and they could floo into the shop if they had to.

The Defensive coach went to report to the main one.  "They found an artifact that showed alternate realities.  Potter was screwing Malfoy and Ron, and they were both stuffed up from him."

"Eww."

"That's why I sent Bear with Potter while he went to wipe that out with liquor.  I promised I'd call Wood to put them up for the night."

"I wonder if it was a mirror," the main coach said thoughtfully.  "I've heard of that, it was stolen by someone who wanted what they saw."

"Don't know, you'd have to talk to Dumass about that.  If so, maybe Harry and Ron can get a finder's fee or something."  He went to call Oliver through the floo.  "I know it's your day off, but Potter just ran into an artifact that was not giving him happy mental images.  He and Bear are out getting soused by you.  Can they have your couches?"

"Sure," Oliver agreed.  "How bad could it be?"

"He saw an alternate him who was shagging his pregnant lovers, Draco and Ron."

"Interesting," Oliver noted.  "No wonder.  Harry's firmly het, the fact that it was blokes probably got him the most.  I'll find 'em and take care of 'em tonight.  Maybe I'll even get a few in myself."  He hung up and went to tell the twins, who looked stunned, then shuddered, and Fred went to get sick.  "I didn't think it'd be that bad."

"Think about those kids," George explained.  "A Potter-Weasley?  A Potter-Malfoy?  A Malfoy-Weasley?"

"Did Harry have a sister who wanted to surrogate for Malfoy?" Luna asked as she walked up to the counter.

"No, he and Ron found an artifact that gave them viewing rights to an alternate dimension where Harry was shagging Ron and Malfoy, who were both preggers," Oliver explained.

"That must be the mirror they delivered to Professor Snape," she said with a wicked smirk.  "Hmm, I wonder what he saw.  He was said to have run out before his next class and run right for his wife's arms."  She put down her purchases and her money pouch.  "Here, Ginny and I need them for some of Dawn's housemates again.  Ethan told me I'm not allowed to conjure air elementals to give them bad hair.  He told me it was like showing off."

Fred came back and gripped the counter but he did ring her up.  He even gave her Ginny's discount since they were going to help Ginny with her crusade to make some stupid girls leave Dawn alone, and Dawn was nearly their sister-in-law.  He handed over the bag with a weak smile.  "Have fun.  Tell Snape we support him if he wants to break that stupid mirror."

"Sure."  She headed back through the floo, finding McGonagall on the other side.  "It was either visit the twin's shop or do them harm myself," she said with a sweet smile.  "They're starting again you know."  She walked past her, going to her next class, but handing Ginny the bag in the halls.  "From the twins."

"Miss Lovegood, you have a detention with me tonight," McGonagall called after her.   "No matter what the reason!"

"Yes, Professor," she and Ginny called.  They smirked at each other.  "I found out why Snape ran off."

"Really, give?" Ginny demanded.

"That mirror lets you see alternate realities.  Harry and your brother saw one where Harry was shagging Ron and Malfoy, and they were both knocked up.  So apparently Snape saw something that was equally sickening.  By the way, your brother threw up upon hearing that."

"Wicked," Ginny said with a grin and a wink.  She ran for her next class while Luna walked out to magical creatures.  She noticed Professor Flitwick's look at the bag from the store.  "Luna had to run out, sir," she explained.

"I see.  You and Miss Lovegood are going to be in my office right before dinner to explain these little jaunts to me."  She shrugged and nodded.  "Thank you, Miss Weasley.  Now, shall we start on the usual charm, the one we've been trying for the last week?" he announced in frustration.  Why couldn't these children get that one charm?  He noticed Ginny concentrated and got it.  "See," he said excitedly.  "She managed it.  The rest of you can as well!"

"The rest of us don't play with unicorns," one girl in the back said bitterly.

Flitwick stopped to consider that.  It was one of those that the pure people had more success with.  He looked at her.  "That would make it more difficult, but not impossible," he announced.  "Try it anyway.  Ten points to whoever gets it correct today."  He watched as the other virgins tried it, noticing how few there were.  Much below the usual average.  Especially among the Hufflepuffs.  "Oh, dear," he muttered, going back to his stool.

"Sir?" one Hufflepuff girl, one of the few who had gotten it already, asked, raising her hand shyly.  He smiled and nodded at her.  "I have a question.  Why would Mr. Weasley get very ill looking when he mentioned that he had seen someone create ass-less pants, as he called them?" she finished when he went pale.

"What?" he asked, not believing this one.  "Why would he be upset by that?"  She nodded.  He looked at Ginny, who had suddenly burst out laughing.   "She may be able to answer that better."

"Apparently my stupid older brother and his curse breaking team just ran into an artifact that showed alternate realities.  I heard he and Harry saw one where he and Harry were shagging Malfoy and they were preggers, sir.  So I'm guessing one of them did it and the was the thought of the sex."

"I see," he said again, looking at her.  "Where might this artifact be at the moment?"

"From what Lovegood and I think?  Professor Snape's office," she admitted.  "He seems to have the same horrified and sickened look my brother had earlier when he went to cuddle his wife for comfort."

"Ah.  Thank you.  Carry on while I check on this artifact.  Miss Weasley, if you would please accompany me?"  She nodded, handing Dennis Creevy the bag of pranks and her school bag before following him out of the room.  "Are you sure?"

"That's what Luna overheard someone telling the twins, Professor," she said gently.  "Why?"

"Because if I'm right that mirror was one that was stolen many years ago from the Unmentionables Department."  They tapped on Severus' office, then went to find him in his suite.  He tapped and walked in when Holly opened it.  "I need to see that mirror he was delivered.  I believe I know what it is.  If I'm right it was in the Unmentionables for a reason."

"He saw a reality where he was having Potter's love child and where he and Draco had just agreed to bear the next Dark Lords, which were their kids together."

"Ah, then it probably is," he agreed sadly.  "If you could get us into his office?"

"I can do one better.  Severus?  Professor Flitwick and Ginny are here to save you having another exposure to that creepy thing."  He came out of the bedroom in a dressing robe.  "Get dressed so they can help you, love."

"Thank you," he said quietly, going to get dressed.  He came out and led them up to his office.

"Yes, that's it," Flitwick said.  He noticed the light spell.  "You cast magic around it so I'm assuming you got a ...closer look at those realities, Severus?"  He swallowed and nodded, turning faintly green again.  "Ah.  Don't worry, anything you learned will stay but it will seem as if a nightmare in a few months.  For some reason this mirror always shows realms where men are pregnant."  He covered it with a cloak he found in the corner.  "Go back to Holly's side, Severus. I'll call the Ministry and Alex on this one."  He nodded, and clearly fled the room before it could do it to him again.

Ginny looked at him.  "Can I look?  I've never even thought of blokes getting fat and round."

"Stay back from it.  If you get pulled into it, you'll definitely be worse for the wear," he warned.

"Hey, it won't be in my body," she said with a grin.  She stepped slowly closer, smiling as the picture activated and she was helping a man give birth.  "Hmm, looks like a farming operation."  She heard the squeak but she was squinting at the fuzzy picture and got sucked into the mirror herself.

Flitwick sighed and got back to calling the people.  "Alex," he chastised when his head appeared.  "That mirror makes you see horrible places.  Ones where men are pregnant. It was stolen from the Ministry a few years back.  You've given Severus horrible nightmares.  Ginny's presently in it."

"Shit.  Sorry, Finius.  Should we come to get it?  I can always put it in front of Fudge."

Flitwick let out a chuckle.  "That would be fine.  Give us a few to retrieve Ginny Weasley."

"I'm naked anyway," he noted, waving and disappearing.

Flitwick turned and found Ginny coming out of the mirror shaking and pale.  "Are you all right?"

"Oh, yes," she said weakly, looking at him.  "I just saw a wizard breeding realm.  They had them in stalls like cows.  I even got to supervise some of the breeding myself.  I got to have Malfoy fucked by some gigantic bloke because it'd be the strongest match.  Apparently all the young wizards had been given three years there by Fudge to help the world recover after the wars."  She touched her stomach.  "I and most of the other witches were pregnant.  He had ordered it and had us all checked if we weren't."  He shuddered.  "Other than that, it was kinda neat," she finished with a weak grin.  She turned back but it was a different one this time.  "Gods, look at that. It's like half the school's pregnant," she said in awe.  She stepped back through, going to help herself there help Ron be pregnant.  From there she felt herself being pulled into another realm, and finally got to experience the feelings of real sex, even if she wasn't having it.  She came out the next time wobbling and shaky, but grinning brightly.  "So that's why Ron and Dawn go at it all the time," she sighed.  She smiled at Malfoy.  "I saw a realm where Fudge went insane and decided everyone had to have at least one child, including the men.  The younger men were kept like cows in stalls at a breeding facility for three years."

Malfoy shuddered, clutching Alex's arm.  "We must destroy this thing."

"The Unmentionables used it to keep their people in line," Alex told him.  "We're bringing it to Fudge next," he said with a smirk at Ginny.  "Liked it?"

"I just got to have sex with my pregnant self and my pregnant self's boyfriend, who was also pregnant but I couldn't tell who it was."

"Based on what I've heard about the thing it was probably one of your brothers," Flitwick noted happily.  "Oh, Alex, Ron's upstairs in Hufflepuff.  Perhaps you should gather him before someone comes in with a wand shooting restraints."

"No, restraints are Lovegood's thing," Draco told him.  "Dawn's a romantic sort."  He looked at Alex.  "Let's get this thing out of here.  Fudge's office you say?"

"Since he's still there, even after being demoted, yeah," Alex decided, taking one side of the mirror while Draco took the other.  "Tell Sev I'm sorry.  If I had known I would have put it in the main office for Dumbledore's amusement."  They carried it out.  "I'll call Greg to see if he wants to fill in for a few days if he wants."

"Thanks," Ginny called, waving at their backs.  "Those two are just so much fun," she sighed, smiling at the professor.  "Shouldn't we get back to class before the number of people who can do that charm drop significantly?"

"Yes, we probably should," he agreed, hurrying off with her in tow.

***

Alex Dumass dropped the mirror in Fudge's office, stunning his secretary.  "Sorry, delivery.  We just found this and we were ordered to hand it back to the Ministry but not which department so we figured he could figure that out well enough."

"It was taken during his tenure," Draco panted, leaning against Alex's side.  "No more moving things today, Alex.  I'm tired."

"Of course not, only ourselves home and to the bubble bath I promised," he soothed, leading Draco off with a grin for the secretary.

Little did they know that she had recognized it and that she hated her present boss.  So when he came in, she waved a hand at it.  "Sir, Alex Dumass just found this, said it had been taken sometime during your time as Minister.  He said you should know who it needs to go to and that there's a strong magical field around it."  She watched his pompous ass walk up to the front of the mirror and uncover it so he could read the words engraved on it.   Then she nearly cackled as he cast the translating spell for the simple Latin.  The mirror awakened and pulled him into it immediately.  She hoped it went somewhere very bad for him. It seemed to but she hoped it was horrible.  She called the Unmentionables and let them see the mirror.  "Dumass found it," she reported.  "Fudge is inside of it at the moment."

They rushed up, bringing the mirror down to their offices, with a stop in the main entry to let Fudge out.   He came out shaking and crying and ran out of there like he was going to be tortured.

"It looks like he cast magic on the mirror itself instead of just near it," one of them said in awe.  "Wonder if he found himself being tortured by the Dark Lord."  They picked up the mirror to finish bringing it home.  They had some people they wanted to use it on.  And a few they wanted to warn, including Percy Weasley.  He would be going into it if he didn't straighten things up quickly.  They made their report to the Minister for Magic and then went back to their office so he could clean up the mess Dumass had left.

"Carnage indeed, more like chaos," the Minister said in awe.  "How one man can cause so much damage I'm not sure."   He contacted Flitwick, who was cited as the reporting body at the school.  "We'll need reports from those who went into the mirror and those who only got a good look.  Do you know how many that would be?  I doubt we're going to find Fudge yet."

"Miss Weasley did, she reported Snape, Harry and Ron did as well," he offered.  "She went to a few places.  Severus said he went to a few as well, but Ron and Harry apparently only saw it."

"Very well.  I thank you, Finius.  If one of you see Fudge, herd him back this way.  He ran out of here like he was on fire."  He waved and cut the connection, sending people out to talk to those.  Tonks got Harry since he was probably drinking.  One of the females who was a bit softer went to talk to Ron since he was probably curled up with his girlfriend.  The others were sent after the other people to get their statements.  He looked forward to reading them.  The mirror always showed such interesting places.

Dragons and Heirs.

"Greg, that's a dragon," Warrick said, stating the obvious while he stared at the DNA tech's present helper.

"There's no dragon, it's a figment of your imagination," Greg muttered as he worked.  "Otherwise I'd have to see him too and I refuse."

"Greg, that's a dragon," Warrick said, shock starting to break through.  He was grinning at the beast now.  "Hi.  Are you intelligent?"

"Warrick, you're talking to a figment, Grissom won't like that," Greg warned.  Warrick glared at him.  He glared back.  "There are no dragons."

Warrick started to retort but Sarah helpfully came into the lab.  "Greg, that's a dragon," she said in awe.  "Damn, you're a cute dragon too," she cooed, reaching down to pet the dragon.

"There is no dragon!" Greg said tiredly.  "It's a mass hallucination or something.  Otherwise I'd have to see it too."

"Greg, with all that we've put up with your ...stuff, at least you could act a bit more nice about these things," Sarah reminded him coolly.

He put down everything and turned to look at her, the dragon mimicking him.  "Sarah, Warrick, I appreciate it, but there is no dragon.  There is something impersonating a dragon, something that's stuck as a dragon actually, but no real dragon.  It's presently a figment of *my* imagination and I'm ignoring it," he finished with a smile.  "If you can see my figments, then we've suddenly become telepathic and most wizards aren't."

"Greg, that's a dragon," Nick said as he walked in, with Hodges behind him.

"I told you he was bringing illegally imported and endangered species into the office," Hodges agreed

Greg moaned and shook his head.  "Out!  Or I'm not doing anyone's work!"  They disappeared. He glared at the dragon, who grinned up at him.  "You're still a figment of my imagination."  He picked up everything and forced himself to go back to work.  "Maybe I should have been a curse breaker after all," he muttered.  "I seem to attract trouble."

"Sanders, why is there a creature in your office?" Brass asked.  Greg put down everything and walked away, not going anywhere near him.  "Okay then."  He looked at the dragon.  "You don't look at all like I imagined you.  You're not big and flying."  The dragon bleeted and stepped closer to nuzzle his leg.  "Thanks.  I appreciate you too," he promised, reaching down to pet it on the head.

"Did Greg buy Cassandra a familiar already?" Grissom asked as he walked past the door reading a file.

"I don't think they're allowed to keep these as pets," Brass noted, getting out of the way when Grissom backed up and looked into the lab.  "I asked, Sanders just walked away shaking his head.  He sighed too I think."

"Un-huh.  Okay then.  You, let's go sit you in the break room. You don't need to contaminate the DNA lab or we'll get into trouble.  Come on, I know there's a donut or something around here."  He walked him into the break room and turned on the tv, putting two donuts in front of the beast.  "Stay here.  Stay, boy."  It bleeted and nuzzled him.  "Yes, I think you're very nice too."

"Greg says he's a figment of his imagination," Warrick said from the doorway. "You might pour him some water too."  He walked away, finding Greg outside sipping a brand- new cup of coffee, probably laced with something.  "No being drunk at work."

"It's only flavoring, not real liquor. I can easily pass a bac," Greg promised between gulps.  "He's a figment."

"Well, Grissom just fed your figment two donuts and put him in front of MTV."

"Oh, yeah, that's *just* what Mortimer needs," he said bitterly.

"Mortimer?"

"Long story," Greg sighed, looking at him.  "Needless to say, one of the local wizards showed up at the house last night saying that this figment was following him.  We thought it was real too, but then it faded out last night and showed up again this morning, attached to me.  I have no idea what sort of apparition it is, but it's annoying.  It's cuddly and annoying."

Warrick nodded.  "Only you guys," he said smugly.  "Keep him out of the lab, we don't need contamination."  He headed back inside.

"Maybe he'll attach himself to one of them," he said hopefully.  He looked over as Catherine came in.  "It's a figment, don't ask."

"What?"  He shook his head and moaned.  "Okay, I won't ask.  That at least.  I want to ask about my daughter."

"What about her?  She's got potential but nothing overt.  She's basically a latent from what I saw."

She held up a letter.  "Then what's this?"

Greg took it to look over, grimacing.  "A very bad school."  He handed it back.  "Think military-style academy.  Sending her to Canada would be better.  The schools in the US are horrible for the most part.  They only want to teach you enough to clean the house and cook."  He finished his coffee and tossed the cup away.  "I'll see if I can get her somewhere better."

"Doesn't she have to manifest or something?" she asked, starting to sound shrill.

"Yeah, but it can be odd things that you never realize.  Potter's first noticed manifestation removed the glass from a snake cage and then made it reappear once the snake was gone."   She looked stunned.  "Truth.  Usually it's instinctive or protective.  Things like falling kids bounce or they leap *really* high when they're getting away from people."  He popped in a breath mint.   "It was flavoring only," he promised.  "I can always come over to talk to her if you want, or Emilia can.  She can see power so much easier than I can."

"Please," she agreed, a bit happier now.  "If not the US, where?"

"I don't know, I'll ask around.  Salem's nice but they're pretty exclusionary.  They go for power hogs mostly.  There's no school really close by.  There's one outside of Phoenix, but they're specialists mostly.  They teach you the basics, but you learn a lot more about herbology than anything else.  The one in Montana is a minor potions place.  Most of the US potions people went there.  Salem is good, and generalized - which I think is important, but they've got limited spots and alumni get their kids in first if they fit in.  For nice, sweet kids there's the one in New York, which'll teach you transfiguration mostly, or Chicago, which is a defense school but they suck at it.  They're more theoretical than practice.  The California school is actually a group like UCLA, which does have a wizarding part hidden in it.  They've got specializing branches and two generalized ones, but they're so far up in the mountains it's impossible to reach by anything but broom, apparation, or carpet."

"Carpet?"

"Only in certain countries.  You can't get them in most of Europe," he admitted with a small shrug.  "We'll get you stuff.  You definitely don't want to send her there.  It's a good school if you want to work for the military or you need that sort of lifestyle.  They're affiliated with Montana though."

"I'd rather do a specialist school," she admitted.  "Do I have to?"

"If she's manifested?  Probably," he admitted sheepishly.  "Otherwise her powers will keep popping out at odd times.  Like her first time with a guy," he finished quietly.  She shuddered. "Exactly.  It's indoctrination and teaching all in one."

"I don't want to send her that far away," she complained.

"Hey, if we had one locally I'd probably temp in as the potions professor," he offered.  "We don't.  Think of it like a specialized education, like for blind or deaf kids.  There's some people who can do some of the teaching, but for the intense basic training there's only a few places to send kids."

"Good point," she said miserably.  "Each year?"

"At least you'll get the summers off," he offered.  "Regular holidays, unless you send her to that one."

"Would the others accept her if this one offered?"

"They'd almost have to steal most of their student body.  Let me make a call tonight and then we'll come over tomorrow night to talk to her."

"Thanks, Greg.  Maybe you can help her.  She freaked this morning when the eagle came."

"Eagle?  Gee, the general himself sent for her," he said thoughtfully.  "That means she's got a specialty."  He grinned.  "That's the school that imploded that Blair and I should have gone to.  They reformed in our second year into that tragedy in the making.  Have her come down and I'll get Emilia in to take her and the figment somewhere."

"Sure.  What figment?"

"Don't ask," he groaned, shaking his head.  He went to call his wife the normal way, just in case she was busy doing something important.  Her cell had voice mail and she checked it religiously in case Penn needed something desperately.  "Hey," he said into it.  "It's the studly little daddy.  Catherine just got a shocking letter via eagle mail this morning for her baby girl.  The General sent it.  I promised we'd talk to her and the little one after we figure out what's going on and where we could offer to send her.  Love you.  The figment's still here."  He hung up and headed inside, going back to work.  He passed Catherine on the way, patting her on the back.  "I left a message on her voicemail.  You should be hearing a squeal soon."  He went into his lab and shut the doors.   There was no way his figment was coming back in there now that he was gone.

Catherine looked around, then went to see Grissom. "Greg's figment is a dragon?"

"Apparently," he said with a smile.  "You didn't call in?"

She handed over the letter.  "Greg says it's not the best place so I stopped to ask him once I got Lindsey calmed down.  She was a bit hysterical."

"I would be too," he offered, handing it back.  "We'll figure it out if she does go."

"I'm not sure I want her to go."

"Catherine, it'd be like telling her she couldn't be a girl or a brunette," Grissom said gently.  "If you deny what she is, then she'll grow up hating herself and probably ending up on our case load somehow."

Catherine nodded.  "I know.  I still don't like the idea of boarding schools."

"It's not like there's enough of them to set up a high school in each state," he pointed out reasonably.   "Don't worry, you can have personal time to drop her off, and a few days extra that first year to get used to not having her there all the time."

"Fine," she sighed.  "Greg said Emilia might be coming in soon.  He left her a message on her voice mail.  I'm going to the garage.  What are we doing about his figment if it tries to help?"

"He seemed pretty happy to watch tv," Grissom offered.  "Maybe he'll stay in there until Greg leaves tonight."

"Maybe," she agreed, heading to the locker room to get a jump suit and tie back her hair.  She checked on the dragon, but it had tipped its head to watch some blonde grind against some guy.  "Figures.  It's got to be male."

***

Ron looked out of the mouth of the cave, catching some fresh air.  The back part of the archives and store rooms were pretty musty and dirty, so he needed the fresh air before his lungs were completely clogged.  He stepped back when he saw a few of the military guards coming up the trail, hoping the illusion held this time too.  He quietly snuck away, going to tell Xander about this new incursion.  This made the fifth time they had tried to find them.  "Alex, they're back again, and they've got that one guy who likes to stare at the mouth of the cave," he said quietly.

Xander tossed down his pen and headed back to the covered entry, finding the one soldier in there and his buddies gone.  "How did you get in here?"

"Easy.  I finally found the crack."  He looked them over, then sneered.  "You're wizards."

"Good one," Xander retorted, smirking at him, crossing his arms for added support of his pain-in-the-ass persona.  "You think?"

"No, I know, and all of you are to be handed over to the government.  The glorious leaders will know what to do about you; even if you don't end up going to jail, you'll be helping us."

Xander shook his head.  "Nope, sorry."  He pulled his gun out, startling the man.  "Expected a wand?" he asked in English.  The man looked scared.  "I'm not a wizard.  I'm a researcher.  I don't work for your government because I don't like their policies on how they treat Tibet.  Now, you can go the easy way or you can 'accidentally' fall off this cliff.  Your choice."

The soldier backed away.  "You won't harm me.  They know I'm in here."

"They might, but they can't really hear you in here either," Draco said as he joined him, hair exposed and his shirt partially open.  They had a comfy fire in the back areas so he was sweating slightly.  "Can't we just obliviate him?"

"Possibly," Xander admitted, staring at him.  "If he knows us though, there's probably a reason and it could change his personality if he forgot that part."

"Then just have him forget us," Ron offered.

"See, that's the part of the 'protecting the community' thing that you guys haven't really gotten yet.  If a muggle finds out about the community, then the community is honor-bound to thoroughly erase any and all memories of us, in total.   We've actually ruined a few great fantasy writers because of that.  Where he's in the military though, people will notice if he has a sudden personality change.  Things like that are noticed and questioned until someone either finds an answer or makes up an answer."  They looked at the guard again.  "Who was the wizard in your family?"

"My mother," he sneered

"Hmm.  British?  Just guessing by the shape of your face."

"Russian and proud of it," he sneered.

"I'm Alex Dumass."  The man's eyes bulged and he backed away babbling.  "This is a holy site for us and we're here meditating and checking on things that have happened here.  If you wish, you can leave here with all of your memories intact but you had better *not* say a word about us, ever."  He nodded quickly, taking another step back.  "Thank you.  Dismissed."  He turned and ran, going back out to his unit, which had been hiding around the mouth of the cave, babbling at high speed.  He was babbling about an animal and body parts strewn about though so they were safe for now.  "Good," Alex decided.  "Ron, continue to watch.  Rotate out."  He went back to helping Paulo check the various cases against the manifest.  It was tedious work, but important at the moment.  "I should have asked him if any wizards had been seen up here."

"If he comes back, you can," he offered, giving him an odd look.  "Or did you decide to obliviate him after all?"

"It was his mother, Paulo.   They would have noticed the personality and behavior changes."  He smirked.  "Besides, he knew me.  He babbled about a big, scary creature that ate us."

"Sorry, Alex, like I keep telling you, I only like girls," Paulo said with a grin.  "There'll be no eating on this body."

"Fine," Xander sighed with a grin back, winking at him.  "One of these days you'll relent and come crawling back, and have to beg Draco for it."

Draco looked at Paulo.  "He's cute when he's not dirty.  Should we drag in snow to warm for a bath tonight?"

"I don't think we have a cauldron that big," Xander pointed out gently.  Draco walked over to his pack and pulled something out, setting it next to the fire so it could be expanded.  It grew until it was a giant cauldron.  "Okay, never mind," he said, nodding once.  "Hey, Ron, if they're gone you and Harry can work on dragging in snow for baths.  Since he's here for the weekend and all."

"Won't that be cold?" Harry called back.

"Smartass, we'll be melting it," Draco called back.   "We'll have to bring in more buckets so we can take turns and not have dirty water."

"In the old days, everyone shared bath water," Paulo pointed out.  "You heated one tub and the parents got it first, then the older kids, then a new tub was warmed for the littlest of the little kids, who needed less water, and they all shared that one."  Draco shuddered.  "Don't believe me, ask Alex."

"Thankfully we had indoor plumbing," Xander offered.  "There were still a lot of families doing that in my first time around."  Draco shuddered again, curling up on himself a bit.  "So if you want clean bath water, you'll be hauling in your own."

"Fine," Draco agreed.  "Perfectly reasonable.  We can each haul in our own, that way we have enough. We can clean the cauldron at the end."  Xander nodded.  "Thank you.  Who do you want to go first?"

"Let Ron and Harry," Alex offered.  Ron drug in two buckets of snow.  "We've decided to not share bath water."

"Eww," Harry noted.

"You'll understand why after you pull in the fortieth bucket for your bath," Xander said smugly.

"It's still gross," Ron noted.  "Harry, we'll haul enough for the both of us?"

"Ron, we've only got two buckets," Harry pointed out.

"So we float it out and fill it out there, then float it back since the military wandered off again," Ron offered.

"We'll quickly be running out of snow outside the cave that way," Paulo warned. "Maybe a bucket each instead to do washcloth baths and your hair would be better."  He looked at the younger generation.  "Working in the desert means that you've got a severe lack of water and you're always hot."

"We're going there this holiday season," Alex said smugly.

"You bitch," Paulo said in awe.  "You got the city?"  He nodded, giving him a smug look.  "Fucker."

"Hey, I've got to teach all these guys plus Dawn.  We'll be picking her up from the train and taking her, plus Harry probably."

"Can we at least spend Christmas with other people?" Draco asked.  "My family used to make a big deal of it."

"So did mine," Ron agreed.

"The house is probably going to be over-decorated, really too warm to stand to be in, and crowded with everyone the family has ever adopted," Xander warned.

"You guys know most people who work don't get the whole week of the holidays off, right?" Paulo asked.  Draco looked stunned and Ron nodded.

Draco looked at him.  "They don't give your father off the day before and after at least?"

"Nope. Usually shorter hours on the day before and the day after is usually pretty slow, but he's still gotta work," Ron sighed.  "We always hated it because his department has so few people that he can't really take off."

"Doesn't that hurt family bonding or something?" Draco demanded.

"Probably, but that's what working people do," Alex told him.  "I didn't make it home for the holidays for nearly ten years in a row.  Right afterwards because no one wanted those days off and I was done with a job, but never on the holiday."  Everyone looked at him in awe.  "Curse breaking jobs come up when they come up.  You accept the assignment or you don't, but they always want to know why," he explained.

"The guys with the best reputations don't turn down jobs and volunteer for the hard things," Paulo added.  "Alex only turned down three jobs."

"Yeah, and then I ended up saving the ones who went in there to do them," he agreed bitterly.  "Or at least their bodies.  I never take on something that twinges my danger sense.  You guys'll be growing that with enough experience.  Jobs like this one are blessed for the simplicity and easiness."

"Or resented because they don't earn you a lot of money," Paulo added with a smirk for Alex.  "They had to order me here, Alex."

"Okay, guys like Paulo hate these jobs, but guys like me consider them like a mini vacation," Xander explained with a grin for his boys.

"I'm hoping I get to retire instead of being put on guard duty when I get too badly injured or old," Paulo told them.

"Like the guy in Siberia?" Ron asked.

"No, he was probably putting stuff up and filling out forms.  Tomasin is a Specialist," Xander told him.  "Their jobs are the major things and the storehouses.  Your brother was offered and he turned it down because it's a lot more risk of death and worldly destruction.  If I had known about the Glory thing, I would have asked a few to come over.  They can get called into that stuff."

"I'm never taking that job," Ron said with a shudder.

"I'm fairly satisfied with my position at the moment," Draco admitted quietly, looking at Alex.

"I can't keep you guys as apprentices forever," Xander reminded him with a grin.

"No, but you could keep them as your crew, as underlings," Paulo said smugly. "You wouldn't be the first.  We thought you were going to keep Bill that way."

"I'm just glad I got Bill well enough trained to not get killed in that attack that got me," he said bitterly.  "Bill was still basically a little kid when that happened and they gave him my spot.  He's proved he could handle it, but I'm sure his first solo job he panicked badly."

"He used to have this lock of hair that he carried around," Ron offered.  "He rubbed it while he thought."

"Aww," Paulo cooed.  "That's so sweet.  Wait until I find him and taunt him about it."

Ron pounced him, bringing him to the floor, hand on his throat, straddling his chest, so he could stare into the guy's eyes.  "Don't pick on my big brother.  He's less deadly than I am, but he's just as mean.  He taught me how to do this," he said smugly.  "I'm an excellent student."  Paulo nodded and Ron got off, going back to his artifact.  "Xander, why does this one feel like something dead but it's not even wood?"

"Because it was formerly animate," Xander told him.  "Didn't read the notes?"

"The translation spell didn't work.  It was in Cyrillic," Draco offered.  "We both tried."

"Oh."  He grinned and pulled out a pair of glasses, looking at the papers put in the box with the artifact.  "Okay, it was a...."  Ron took the glasses to read for himself.  "Hey!"

"Where can we get some of those?" Draco asked smugly, smirking at him.

"I've got someone making you each a set," he sighed, looking up.  "Why me?"  He looked at Ron again, who was quickly moving through the papers, then handed the glasses back.  "Thanks, Ron."

"No, thank you," he said with a grin.  He checked the artifact, then added his notes to the bottom of the papers, then put it back into the box and relocked it, putting it back so he could move on.  "Those are really handy."

"Bill has a monocle," Paulo said, rubbing his throat. "You're really strong, Ron."  Ron smirked at him.  "I don't think I want to wrestle with you again."

"Your loss," Ron reminded him.  He pulled back a larger box.  "This isn't heavy."

"Put that back," Alex and Paulo said in unison.

"Why?" Ron asked, stopping.

"Ron, what do the marks on the side of the box mean?"

"What marks?"  He turned it around to look, but didn't see them.

"Shit, you didn't take that potion," Alex sighed, hitting himself on the head.  "Okay.  All curse breakers who go into the field for the first time take a potion that allow us to see certain magical marks that the other group of curse breakers used when they were still in existence."  Draco gave him an interested look.  "They died.  All of them were fighting one big, huge, demon and they died.  There weren't many of them but their stores always used these glowing marks.  Most people don't have problems with them but Bill was allergic to it if I remember right.  He spent a good week in the hospital in misery."

"For now, we'll just yell at you," Paulo offered.

"Thanks," Ron agreed happily.  "I'll take it when we go home."

"That's fine," Xander agreed.  "You'll have to take it too, Draco, and it may make you sick too.  I don't know of any other partial veelas in the field."  Draco grimaced.  "I don't want you to be hindered in the field in case something happens.  They also marked hiding spots and things," Xander offered.  "Plus added notes to places where they've already been.  I've run into a lot of places where they had started and then decided not to go on.  They were only in it for the artifacts but I have no problem going for archives, libraries, and storehouses like these.  One of my first assignments had been one of their storehouses.  They had locked it and almost no one could see the lock, let alone figure it out.  I could see it, but they wound their locks like Celtic knots so I ended up unraveling it the hard way since I couldn't untie it."

"They opened it and the older breakers watching over him just stared in awe.  Alex here walked in and looked around, then pouted because there weren't any books."

"Hey, I like finding books," Xander defended.  "Books are good things.  Regaining some of the lost knowledge has given us a lot of knowledge, including some cures and remedies, plus some potions."

"If you say so. I'd rather do a job that was paid in gold."

"I get paid on the worth of the books," Xander said smugly.

"Bastard."

"No, I had parents," he said with a grin.  "Wanna meet my mom?"

"No, that's okay. I've met her professionally," he said with a shudder.  "Never, ever be like most of us and start to be assholes to the women, boys."

"Yeah, Paulo used to visit as many whorehouses as I did," Xander said smoothly, smirking at Draco.  "We stopped for different reasons."

"You think your mom'd give me it back now?"

"You'd have to ask her," Xander said.  "Mom?  Got a mo?"  She appeared in a small flash of light, smiling at him and handing Ron a box of cookies.  "His mom or the aunties?"

"Both," she admitted. "Share those, Ron."

"Sure," he agreed, happily tearing into the box and handed it to Draco once he had a few in hand.  "Thanks, Alex's mom."

"You're welcome, dear ones.  What's wrong, Alex?"

Paulo got on his knees, crawling over to her.  "Please, please, please," he begged pitifully.  "Please give me back my dick, ma'am.  I've learned my lessons and it's been nearly ten years.  I hate the tube that they had to put in so I could pee.  Please?" he pleaded.  "I have learned my lesson and I'll never touch another person sexually anyway.  Please?"

She gave him a long look.  "Usually I'd have to have the woman who did it rescind her wish."

"She's dead," Paulo sobbed.  "Please?"

"Fine, but you won't be able to use it," she said, waving a hand at him.  The tube was removed and his equipment was returned to him.  He hugged her then ran outside to pee off the edge of the cliff.  "Well, that was fun but the demon using them might be a bit pissed that they left.  Son, do you need anything?"

"Not unless you want to hand out more treats," he said, stealing a cookie.  "Hmm, Molly's recipe."

She walked over to kiss him on the cheek, smiling at Draco.  "I'm very proud of you, Draco.  You're the sort of son I wanted."  She hugged her son.  "This one worries me all the time and he never calls for non-work things."

"Mom, you walk into my dreams all the time," Xander reminded, giving her a hug back.  "There's not much more I can tell you."

"Good point," she agreed happily.  "Now if only you'd decide to have some kids?" she asked hopefully.

"Mom, I hate kids.  Work your magic on Harry or find some way of doing it without me."

"Fine.  Call your father, dear, he's found a few more members of the family."  She kissed him on the cheek then gave the boys a hug.  "I'm off to check on Dawn and I'll check on Harry later this week for you."

"Make sure he's not having a game," Ron said quickly.

"I know, dear," she promised patiently.  She disappeared.

Paulo finally came back in, tool still out and being looked at.  "It's got some sort of mark there," he said in disgust.  "What did she do with me?"

"She said some demon was using it as a dildo," Ron told him.  Paulo looked horrified.  "I'm guessing it won't ever be the same."

"No, probably not," he sighed, tucking himself back into his pants.  "I'll make a shrine to her later, when I'm home."  He got back to work, finishing the notes on his device. "I don't know why anyone would charm a telegraph to talk instead of whatever it did.  Didn't it broadcast news and stories and stuff?"

"No, telegraphs were a way of passing on messages over long distances.  You sent a series of long and short beeps across a long series of lines until it finally reached your destination," Draco told him.  Ron stared at him in shock.  "Your father said so," he defended.

"And right he was," Xander agreed, grinning at his mate.  "Good remembering job, Draco."  Draco smiled at him.  "Now call Sev and get him to call our contact to see about that potion?"

"Sure," he agreed, going to do that.  He locked his artifact back up so the guardian he had on the sucking spot of void wouldn't suddenly start to suck again, then he leaned against the wall with one hand on his tatoo.  "Sev," he hissed.  He got a harsh comment back from Tipsy, so he sent soothing thoughts at her, telling her what was going on.  She ducked out and let him have his godfather, making him stop ranting at a Gryffindor for a moment.  Severus took off a lot of house points then went back to his desk to listen, so Draco gave him a complete rundown of their present things, the stuff that had already went on, and the request for the potion to be researched so he didn't get dreadfully ill.  He hated being sick.  Severus agreed and wrote down the notes on the potion and who to talk to. He sent him a mental pat and one for Tipsy since he could still feel her, then left them alone, coming back to the present time.  "I interrupted Tipsy's nap and he was taking off house points from a hopeless Gryffindor."

"Did he yell because you interrupted his fun?" Ron asked.

"No.  He did take down everything and he said that he'd research demonic venereal diseases as well," he said with a look at Paulo.  "Just in case of course."

"If Luna gets one, Ethan's gonna be toast," Xander said with a snort.

"I think he was more worried because she had been called to the school on the behalf of a young woman who had just broken up with her boyfriend," Draco said mildly.

"Gee, and I thought she only did rapists and things like that," Xander said thoughtfully.  "I guess a woman can be hurt a lot by a bad breakup."  He looked at Paulo.  "I always thought you played too hard with someone."  He nodded, that had been true. "Huh.  Learn something new every day.  Get another cookie, Draco, and pass them over so I can get one and put them up."  Draco took his cookie and handed over the tin, watching as Paulo took one and Xander took another, then they were put into his sealed pack.  It held special supplies and things that he didn't want the boys into, like his supply of chocolate.  "Okay, let's work on the other boxes.  The faster we get done, the faster we get real baths."  The boys ran for their next artifact, making Paulo chuckle, but they got down to work as fast as they could, yet still conscious of being watched.

***

Dawn looked up as Professor Snape loomed over her, giving him a faint smile. "Yes, sir?"

"I've heard from that annoying twit you call your fiance."

"Really?" she asked happily.  "Anything good?"

"He's fine."  He walked on.

"Hmm.  I was hoping for a bit more.  Sir," she added as an afterthought since they were in class at the moment.

"No, there was nothing more.  Draco did not report any embarrassing incidents yet."

She pouted. "So they're having fun?" she asked with a hint of a lip tremble.  He frowned at her so she looked more pitiful.  He glared and she broke out in tears.

He pointed at the door so she left.  "Hufflepuffs," he said in disgust.  He sat behind his desk to watch them attempt another potion.   Dawn came back and he glared at her again.  "That was not indicated for the situation."

"I was just realizing how far away they are and they're probably having a lot of fun and laughs and things," she pouted.

"You'll know over the holidays," he assured her.  She blinked a few times then opened her mouth.  "Back to work, Miss Summers."

"Yes, sir," she agreed, her mood brightened a bit now.  That was something she hadn't heard yet, that she'd get to go with them.  That would be so cool!  She wiggled happily and the teacher gave her a dirty look so she settled down some and settled for beaming at him until she could squeal with Ginny and Luna.

***

Greg knocked on Catherine's door, smiling at her. "We brought 'San since we couldn't find a sitter."   He and Emilia let their daughter run forward first.  She had been on the run since they had gotten her out of her car seat, they had been herding her toward the door.  He ignored the dragon that was now following his daughter around, yet again, and smiled at Catherine's daughter.  "Hey, Lindsey.  I heard you got a letter," he said, giving her a hug.  "Congrats, girl."

"Gee, thanks.  Not my version of life though," she complained.  "I met those guys when they came to visit you, they were all odd."

"Which guys?" Emilia asked as she let go of Catherine and handed over the package from the twins.  "From the trio."  Catherine smirked as she shut the door, keeping 'San from running out.  Much to her pouting and whimpering.  "No," the mother reminded her.  "Go play on the carpet."  She toddled back that way, going to find a book.  She liked books.  "We should head after her if that direction has book cases," Emilia warned.

"Yes, our little girl decided our library needed rearranged," Greg said dryly, following his baby girl.  Emilia sat down with a sigh and he pulled out some forms for Catherine to look at.  "I got to talk to someone at Salem.  They've got two open spots left and those were her suggestions if I can find out what sort of specialty she has."  He sat Lindsey in front of him and pulled his wand.  "Close your eyes.  It won't hurt but you'll be putting out light and it's freakish for some people."  He cast the charm and looked her over, judging the swirls.  "Hmm.  Some science, some math.  I'm thinking Transfiguration.  'Mil?"

"Transfiguration probably will synch for her," she agreed.  "Maybe some light potions and some arithmancy.  Charms possibly."

"There's mathematical magic?" Lindsey asked, opening her eyes. "Wow, what is that?"

"Your aura," he explained, pointing out the colors.  "The strength and color of the swirls indicate what sort of person you are.  This one's more science and that one's kinda a math, but a not linear sort.  Arithmancy is kinda like algebra with some trig thrown in, but it's neat if you can handle it.  Maybe some runes too.  Hmm."  He canceled it.  "So she's gonna be good in Transfiguration at the least.  Some of that's math and science, some of it's imagination."

"Which means she might even make animagus," Emilia offered.  "Like McGonagall."

"What's that?" Lindsey asked.

"That's where a wizard or a witch can turn into an animal," Greg said with a grin.  "It's hard but it comes easier to those who have a transfiguration bent."

"Wow.  What could I become?"

"You get one form and it's determined by who you are," Emilia told her gently, giving her a smile as 'San crawled up her to sit in her lap with one of her mother's romance novels.  "I think she wants read to."

Greg retrieved a book and swapped them out before his daughter could do more than pout. "You don't need to know about pirates kidnaping innocent young women yet," he assured her, patting her on the head.  "So we talked to the biggest and best school in the country.  They're the oldest and most respected and they gave me some good suggestions and none of them are close by," he told her.  "That means you'd be doing what you'd be doing for college, only earlier."

"All the way in Salem?" Catherine asked.

"Well, you'd have to convince Salem to take her.  They're strict," Emilia told her.  "There's two closer ones, and one's *excellent* in Transfiguration.  That one's in New York."

"Which is dirty, nasty, and grimy," Catherine reminded her, "plus dangerous."

"Not at the school.  It's in the heart of the city but the kids aren't allowed out to run wild.  They're only allowed out into the main city when they're chaperoned.  The wizarding area is something else entirely.  It's small, quaint, and you still can't get a wand there.  There's only one wand maker in this hemisphere and that's in Chicago."

"But, the school up there are dumbasses," Greg told her.  "I ran into them.  Their defense class was trying to stun an ice dragon while it was laying eggs and they all got frozen."

"That could have been the teacher, I've heard a lot of good things about Chicago and New York both," Emilia argued, "even though Alex and those guys ran into their teacher with the demon thing two years ago."

"Maybe it was the same teacher," Catherine said dryly.

"That's always possible," Greg agreed.  "The pool of qualified applicants is fairly small.  That's why you can get some atrocious idiots teaching sometimes.  Hogwarts had that problem with Defense teachers for the longest time. Then the Prof came back."

"I heard Remus did pretty good," Emilia offered. "But he's a werewolf and parents got upset about that."

"Wow.  They'd hate him for that?" Lindsey asked.

Greg nodded.  "The British system is fairly old fashioned I guess is the best way of putting it.  Now, there are some Canadian schools.  There's a great Canadian school, generally the equal of the major three in Europe.  Salem is in competition with them."

"What about cost?" Catherine asked.  The other adults winced. "That's what I thought."

"It's more about the conversion rate from cash to gold," Emilia offered.

Greg shook his head.  "Catherine, do not worry about the cost.  I won't do it for Nick to buy a new stereo, but I will do it for school stuff.  This is too important and Nick didn't need a new stereo anyway.  Just don't tell them."

"Fine, but I don't want to take charity," she complained.

"Then consider it a loan," Greg said with a shrug.  "The tuition at Salem is about thirty galleons a month.  Her wand will be between six and ten galleons probably.  Kitting her out each year will be about another ten or fifteen."

"This is how the system operates," Emilia offered.  "Those who have it, use it to help those who don't.  Even Draco's father knew he was paying higher tuition for his son so the poorer kids could go more cheaply."   She looked at Greg.  Then at Lindsey.  Then back at Catherine.  "We agreed last night that this was a reasonable thing.  You could pay us back forever if you had to, and we'll be nice about it," she offered with a smile. "We have the cash, but you'll end up living on the streets at your present salary."

"The present conversion is about two hundred to a galleon," Greg said quietly.  Catherine went pale.  "For a muggle-born student, the tuition is usually about half that of a pure blood because we only think in galleons."

"The Canadian school is cheaper but they'd have to make exceptions to take her in," Emilia offered.  "There's about a month before the school year starts.  The one in New York is still pretty high cost because it's a bit famous for its transfiguration classes but it's only twenty a month."

"You've about got to be a genius in the subject to earn a scholarship," Greg offered.  "Our parents sent us to Hogwarts, where it was about ten galleons a month for tuition."  He smirked at his wife.  "I've begged the old guy to take in 'San when it's time. I don't want her in Salem."

"Neither do I," she agreed.  "A potions person in Salem might have some problems."  She snapped her fingers.  "I did get one person that Greg didn't. The California schools.  The general and the transfiguration aren't bad, but they're run by Hufflepuffs."

"Hippies in other words," Greg offered.  "People just like Dawn."

"They live on a commune and they switch back and forth between the school parts.  It's a nice system but fairly happy and sunny.  I know a few kids who went there who were pure Goth and they hated it with every bone in their bodies."  Greg and Lindsey both chuckled at that, which meant that 'San joined in a moment later.  She smiled at the girl in question.  "It's closer, cheaper, and you'll get a good enough education to pass any formal qualifications but I'm not sure about jobs afterwards.  They couldn't find their person over that."

"So, Salem or New York are her best bets?" Catherine asked miserably.

"Actually, were it me, I'd send her to Chicago," Emilia offered.  "It's fairly well known and up and coming, but it doesn't have the attitude that Salem has.  It's like a small, private college against something like Harvard."  Catherine nodded.  "It's not bad, but it's not great.  They also have a lot of open spots so they're looking for students."

"Plus, she'll have to do most of her shopping up there anyway," Greg offered.  "Unless you want us to take her to Diagon with us."

"I think Hogwarts is farther away than I want to go," Catherine said, looking at her daughter.  "It's your life," she pointed out.  "Got an opinion?"

"If I'm going to think about this like I would a college, should I visit?"

"You should," Greg agreed happily.  "We can take you both to Chicago and New York.  Salem doesn't allow visitations.  They live on their reputation and they give you references to talk to, two of which work in New York's school anyway," he added with a grin.

"Then I'd like to visit," Lindsey decided, hugging 'San since she was poking her.  "Sure, I'll read to you," she promised, opening the children's book.  "Elmo?"

"Mo!" she said happily, clapping.

"Wow, her first word was Elmo," Greg said in shock.  "Good job, Sesame Street."

Emilia swatted at him.  "Behave."  She smiled at her daughter. "Good job, 'San.  You deserve a treat when we get home."  Her daughter grinned at her and snuggled in harder while her babysitter read to her.  "Lindsey, if you want, you can have a job babysitting her.  We keep running out of them."

"'San's a bit hard to do that with anyway," Catherine said dryly.  "After all, she's floating things now."

"We've thought about limiting it but we're not sure that's safe," Greg admitted sheepishly.  "Dumbledore was quite impressed with her.  He said he'd try to fit her in."

"Good," she agreed happily.  She smiled at Catherine. "Don't worry about it.  You can pay us back gently, without any interest.  This is too important."  Catherine sighed.  "Seriously.  You're looking at schooling expenses for college and that's nothing compared to this."

She nodded.  "So I can tell.  Just the thought of tuition is making my head hurt."

Greg pulled out his cell and dialed the number he had stored earlier.  "Hi, it's Greg Sanders, and the young lady in question would like to come up and tour.  When's a good time for you guys?"  He grinned.  "This weekend?" he asked, looking at Catherine. "I've got it off."

"I can take it off," she promised.

"Yeah, that'd be fine," he agreed. "Saturday would be wonderful.  Thanks."  He hung up and called the other one.  "Hey, when is a good time to tour the school Sunday?" he asked this new person.  "Great, thanks."  He hung up.  "Saturday is an open house in New York.  They do it each weekend for the upcoming students.  Chicago said Sunday would be fine.  Want me to call Grissom?"

"No, I will," she promised, taking his phone to do it.  "Hey, Gil, it's Cat.  No, we're fine.  We're discussing the school thing and Greg's offered to help us tour the two schools we've narrowed it down to.  No, this upcoming weekend.  He's got it off and I need it off.  No, New York and Chicago."  She smiled at Greg.  "That's fine.  Thanks, Gil."  She hung up.  "We're cleared, but you're to keep your phone on just in case.  It seems the Sheriff's picked up that you handle all strange and weird things so you're going to be the local X-Files person."

"Wonderful," he agreed dryly.

"Greg, why is the dragon sniffling my shoes?" Lindsey asked.

"What dragon?" Greg and Emilia asked in unison.

"He's a figment of Greg's imagination," Catherine told her daughter with a grin. "Now what?"

"Now, well, we figure out how we're getting everyone there," Emilia offered.  "Portkey?"

"Doable," Greg agreed thoughtfully.  "There's a Gringotts in Vegas.  There's also one in Chicago and New York so you won't have to worry about that.  We can put in a direct- draw order on a new vault," he decided, sitting down next to Catherine.  "We'll probably want to fit her with her wand this weekend, just in case.  Then 'Mil and I will be teaching her a bit of charm work before she goes so she's not behind the other kids."

"You mean there's kids like Draco everywhere?" Catherine asked dryly.  Greg nodded.  "You'll be teaching her defense, right?"

"A few defense, and a few offense, things like freezing someone," Greg promised. "Usual first year spells."  He grinned at her.  "Depending on the books, you could need a whole new set of shelves."

"Trunk," Emilia reminded him.

"True. A trunk.  Did you see Dawn's?"

"I did, and Lindsey doesn't have that much of a wardrobe," Catherine reminded him.

"You're stealing my fun," Greg warned.

"Fine, I won't steal your fun," Catherine said with a smirk for his wife.  "She'd get jealous though."

"No, we're considering this practice for when ours go to school," Emilia promised.  She looked at her spouse.  "Greg, didn't you have to pay higher because you're not British?"

"Crap, yeah," he sighed.  "We'll deal or we'll let Snape adopt her for a few months to get her residency," he promised, grinning at her.  "That way Holly doesn't have to have kids of her own."

"Fine, as long as you tell her that," she said wisely, smirking back at him.  "Now, we should be taking Lindsey out so we can celebrate her getting a letter.  Where are we eating, Greg?"

"I made reservations at the Luxor," he admitted.  "So go change."

"You're wearing jeans to a fancy restaurant?" Lindsey asked.

Greg winked.  "No, we're taking you to one of our spots, dear.  Now, go change."  She nodded, going to do that.

"Lindsey," Emilia said, tossing her something from her diaper bag.  "It's one of my old ones, but it'll help if you're in one when you go to visit.  I took the Hogwarts badge off."  She squealed and hugged her then went to find the perfect outfit to go on under it.  Emilia grinned at Catherine.  "This is fun."

"I can tell," she said dryly, smirking back.  "Don't spoil her."

"You, hush," Greg said with a grin.  "We'll expect her to help us with 'San when it's time for her to go.  Otherwise we'll be emotional wrecks."

"Mo!" 'San yelled, getting their attention.  She sniffled and patted her book.  "Mo?"

"Come here, dear.  I'll read Elmo to you," Catherine offered.  The little girl got down and ran over, waving her book.  "You're such a good girl.  How did your daddy get a good girl like you when he's a naughty guy?" she teased, grinning at Greg to show she was joking.

"Because he got lucky and got a wife who kept him in check," Emilia said with a smirk for her man.

"Keep it up and I'll make you keep up our daughter again tonight," he warned sweetly. "And then leave you like that."

"Meany," she pouted.  'San smacked him on the arm.  "See, she agrees.  She needs her sleep and I'm still on restriction, dear.  That's why you have to make me that stupid, nasty potion."

"Have they ever gotten through that twin/triplet thing yet?" Catherine asked.

"Nope.  I did the same thing," Greg admitted. "It's usually considered a sign that the kid doing it will be a master of something.  I'm hoping for a potions master."

"If he's like both of you, he'll be the one making the wizard's version of viagra," Lindsey said as she rejoined them.  "This okay?"

"That's perfect," Emilia agreed, standing up with a grunt and a hand on her stomach.  "Never, ever, have twins, Lindsey.  They hurt."  She put an arm around the girl's shoulders.  "Okay.  'San, dinner?"  Her daughter lunged at her.  "Not that way!" she said, handing her off quickly.

"Sorry, she's barely weaned," Greg said, hugging his little girl.  "We're going out to eat, 'San.  We're going to go eat stuff at a restaurant.  Want 'sketti?"

She patted him on the nose before giving him an open-mouthed kissed.

"Sure, I can agree with that," Catherine agreed, standing up. "Should I change?"

"If you want," Emilia offered. "We've got robes in the car."   She pinched Lindsey on the cheek. "You, my dear, will probably run into some of our more disreputable wizards there.  They seem to congregate in a back corner to talk about their nefarious plans to get my husband off the potions master list.  Ignore them."  She nodded quickly. "Good girl."

"Don't let Penn or Teller tease you either if they show up," Greg warned.  "He likes to do that to the new ones.  Says he has the charm that he used on Teller memorized if the parents want to use it."

Lindsey giggled.  "My mom would kick him in the butt."

"True, she would," Greg agreed, gathering everything back together and repacking the diaper bag.  "Okay.  Cat, you nearly ready?"

"Almost."  She came out putting on some earrings.  "Too much?" she asked at the shocked looks.  "I tried."

"You tried very well.  You look wiccan," Emilia offered.  "You could just be yourself, they won't care.  This isn't one of the exclusive places in Britain."

"Then again, the wiccans would get beaten to death over there," Greg reminded her.  "I got accused of that once."

"Wow," she said, staring at him.  "Why?"

"Because I wasn't openly brandishing my wand like an imbecile.   Pointless wand waving is just really tiring.  It's like bragging about your size."

Catherine choked, but came back out in a shorter skirt.  "Don't talk about that, Greg."

"Mom, you've got to figure that the guys compare the size of their wands," Lindsey said as she took her arm.  "You look good."

"Thanks, kiddo.  We got the baby?"

Greg held her up, but he let Emilia get her into the car seat because she did it easier for her.  'San always fought him.  The older ladies got in on either side of the baby and they took off, heading for the restaurant.  Greg led the way back to the restaurant, smiling at the maitre'd.  "Good morning.  Our reservations are in about ten minutes?"

"Mr. Sanders," he said happily.  "More fine women in your life?"

"This is Lindsey and Catherine.  Lindsey just got her letter," he said proudly.  "Cat's a great friend so we're sponsoring her daughter.  We're celebrating."  'San squealed at him.  "And she'll need a high chair."

"Of course.  Right this way.  We'll put you in the opposite corner from the other potions people.  They're back to their plotting of course."  He smiled at Lindsey. "We're not all like that, young lady.  Ignore them if possible.  They're jealous and don't count on their own abilities."   He pulled out a chair for Lindsey, letting her sit down delicately.  "There you go.  I'll get the high chair right away.  Water?"

"Please," Greg agreed.  "We're open to the random drug screening and they've been saying they're doing it this month."  The other man went away with a smile.

"We are?" Catherine asked.

"Warrick got given one the other day," Greg told her.

"Eww.  Poor guy."  She shook her head.  "We're a totally clean shift."

"Not totally," Emilia reminded her.

"Yeah, but she's been working on it," she pointed out more gently.  She glanced around. "It's not very busy."

"It never is," Greg offered.  "It's also not time for the major influx.  We get a lot of them over the winter on vacation."   The high chair was brought with menus and he put his daughter in there, watching as the wise waiter handed her some crackers and a sippie cup of water.  "Thanks."

"Anything for you two.  You know that," he said with a wink.  He handed out the menus, smiling at Lindsey.  "If you don't understand anything on there, give us a shout, young lady."  He went back to his desk.

"You guys eat a lot of different stuff?"

"Sometimes.  There's a whole line of charmed things on the menu," Emilia offered.  "Including a chili with singing beans.  They sing opera."

"Hmm, the eggs that cook in front of you until you tell them to stop," Greg agreed.  "Catherine, page two."

She turned to that page, finding the perfectly normal food.  "Thanks, Greg."

"Not an issue.  Pages three and four are for kids mostly.  They're to make it fun or in case it's a special meal and you want to have them charm things like 'Happy Birthday' into the food."

"Hmm.  Burn marks are still on the ceiling from Teller's last birthday party," Emilia said, looking up.  "Six foot high flames," she said in explanation.  "They went a bit overboard."

"Get whatever you guys want," Greg offered.  His pager went off and he sighed, pulling it out.  "That was Teller.  Speak of the devil."  He excused himself to talk in private.  "Yeah?  No, dinner with Cat and Lindsey.  She just got a letter."  He grinned.  "I'll tell her you said so.  What's wrong?"  He listened, then winced.  "Ow.  No, I don't have any made up.  It'll take a few good hours too.  That I do have.  It's in my medicine cabinet because it also helps unswell ankles.  Sure.  Meet me at the house."  He hung up and went back to them, handing Emilia his wallet.  "Penn got caught in a duel and got boils from it.  I'll be right back.  Order me something salty and meat."  He walked back to the bathrooms, the designated apparation point within the restaurant, nodding at the man waiting back there for any incoming patrons.  "I'll be right back, hopefully."  He disappeared, landing in his living room.  "Hey," he said, leading the way upstairs.  "Who got him?"

"I'm not sure.  He was masked," Teller admitted.  "He said we were all stupid for being what we are."

"You guys have the best cover of any of us," Greg said firmly.  "You send him my way next time."  He grabbed the pot off his bedside table, handing it over.  "Those should shrink it.  Just boils?"  Teller nodded.  "Then maybe this would help some too," he said thoughtfully as he went in to get something else.  He handed it over.  "It's technically for hemorrhoids.  Try it on one and see if it makes that one any better, then if it does you can put it on more of them.  We really need a full-time healer in town," he complained.

"We had one but he got ran out of town by the same guy," Teller complained.  "Thanks, Greg."

"Not an issue.  We're at the Luxor.  Tell him I hope he feels better and I'll see what we can do.  Even a mediwitch would help sometimes, but I'll ask some friends back over there if they know anyone willing to relocate."  He ran his hands through his hair.  "You okay?"

"I wasn't there.  I found him on the floor and the guy was gone."

"Then we'll send out a warning," Greg decided.  "This is stupid.  No one should be doing that to their own people."

"Hey, it's not Death Eaters."

"Thankfully.  Even then, you and Penn are pure bloods.  I'd have to worry but Emilia wouldn't."

"Don't worry, Greg, it'll be solved.  We're so out there so the rest of you don't have to take challenges."

"No, I don't mind. You guys don't have to take mine.  Take Emilia's or I will, but you don't have to take mine."  He smiled.  "I'm not the best but I'm mean enough to try."  He waved at the doorway.  "Go ahead so I can reset the alarm."  He followed Teller out, waiting at the alarm until Teller left.  Then he reset it, looking around when he heard a noise.  "I can hear you, you might as well come out," he called.

"Just me," Blair called.

"Fine.  We're at dinner.  Cat's daughter got a letter."  He disappeared, heading back to the restaurant.  "Blair's in for a few hours," he said as soon as he came back to the table, kissing his wife on the cheek.  "I left him there with the alarm on."

"That's fine," she agreed happily.  "Is Penn all right?"

"Just fine, dear.  We need to ask Poppy if she knows anyone who would come over here.  Our healer is gone again."

"It happens," she offered. He sat next to her and she kissed him for real this time.  "I ordered you some shrimp and pasta.  Just like I've been craving."  He grinned at her and shrugged.  "Thanks, dear."

"You know I'll always help you through those, babe."  He patted her on the stomach. "These guys need to be strong and powerful."  He looked over as movement caught his eye, noticing the man walking toward them.  All in black, black hood.  He snorted.  "That's who attacked Penn in his office," he said just loud enough to be heard.

"Now I'm here for you," he sneered.

"You may be, but the Brit's trained me better than that.  You'll pick a spot away from others and I'll meet you for a duel or I'll be forced to take you out because you have bad manners."  He sipped his water.  "Six hours?"

"Six hours?" he sneered.  "Need time to pack and leave?"

"Fine, make it four," Greg agreed. "That way I have time to put my daughter down for the night."  He sneered back at the man.  "You won't find me so easy to ambush, kid.  Where?"

"The park, the lover's grotto."  Greg shrugged.  "Fine.  Four hours, or else I'm coming for you."

Greg stood up, facing the guy down.  He was a bit shorter than he was.  "There's no way you're coming near my daughter or my wife again," he said coldly.  "Now, leave.  Before I find myself getting upset and having to do something about that."  He smirked at him.  "I may not be the best, but I am the nastiest when necessary.  Especially when you come near my daughter or my wife."  The man backed away.  "You may have ambushed Penn, but you won't get that on me.  Run away, little boy, before I stomp you flat."  The other wizard backed up another step.  "Keep going."  He made shooing motions and the man walked off with his chin held high.  Greg sat down and sipped his water again.  "It happens," he told Lindsey.  "Not often.  That's why we'll be getting you your wand this weekend and then we'll be teaching you enough to get away from idiots like that who try to jump themselves in the standing."  He looked at Emilia.  "He sounds a lot like one of Draco's yearmates, don't you think?"

"I do actually," she admitted. "We'll fix him, don't worry."  She patted him on the thigh. "I'll be your second."

"Blair's here.  He can do it.  I'm not letting you near the fight.  He might hit you by accident and then I'd get angry and destroy him totally, down to the atomic level."  He smiled and traced her chin with his thumb.  "Remember how protective I can be?" he asked gently.  She nodded, giving him a long kiss. "Thanks, babe.  Now, when's the food coming?"

"Soon," she said patiently.  "They know I'm pregnant," she reminded him smugly.  They looked at the others. "Don't worry about it; it's not usual and it's nothing more than a challenge from a little boy wanting attention.  Lindsey would be safe until she graduated and by then she'll know enough to get away or stomp them flat."

"Defense is taught in all schools," Greg agreed happily.  "Mostly in self defense for the students who don't come in knowing some of it."

"So it's like a normal high school, only with people with powers and attitudes because they're elite?" Lindsey asked.  "Like a whole school full of cheerleaders and jocks?"

"Sorta, but they're not all like that," Emilia told her.  "Even the elite ones know that some of us are different. You'll find some smart kids, some softer kids, and some kids who are jokers, just like you would in any school.  The thing with the other countries is that the kids start at eleven, instead of thirteen over here."

"I still think that's a mistake," Greg offered.  "Blair and I were going to start early. That's why we got offered Hogwarts instead of Salem or Canada."

"Isn't Nick the same age?"

"Nick's about a year older," Greg admitted.  "He won the birthday cutoff lottery.  Not that you can tell the difference between the twelve and eleven-year-old boys," he said dryly, smirking at Lindsey.  "We'll expect you to be nice to the guys who you like and the nice boys.  Just kick the butts of the others.  They've probably never had someone do that to them before."

"That's how Dawn won the instant affection of her house," Emilia offered.  "We can bring her over for a weekend if you want to know what to expect.  She's went from a muggle high school to Hogwarts."

"Won't that get her in trouble?"

"Not if Aunt Cordy and Snape agree," Greg said with a wink for the worried mother.  "Alex left them in charge of her while he was gone."

"If I remember right, we should be coming up on a Hogsmeade weekend so we'll just snatch her for a few hours from there, on a Sunday."

"Sure, thanks," Lindsey agreed happily.  "Will I have to wear a uniform?"

"Possibly.  I know Salem has them.  I'm not sure about Chicago.  When I was there last, the kids had on jeans but I'm not sure if that was after-hours clothes or not."

"Make a list of those sort of questions," Emilia told her. "The person who gives tours should be able to answer them."  She stroked Greg's arm.  "We didn't have much choice.  It was Hogwarts for me or Beaubaxton's and that's a school I didn't want to attend.  There are so many full veelas there that I'd be one of a crowd.  Being in Hogwarts, I was the only one there.  I had a cousin who's a half-veela."

"She was also so controlled that she never even blipped on the radar of most of the boys," Greg offered.  "Draco's mother was an ice princess of the old line."  She pinched him.  "She was!  We accepted her as one of us because of you, Emilia.  We liked her eventually but we used to stare at her and wonder why she was there instead of somewhere like Drumstrang, where her icy nature would have done her better."

"It was all an act."

"It wasn't.  She's still like that, even to Draco," he corrected gently.  "Narcissa is either the center of attention or you're beneath her.  She's said so herself."

"She was fifteen."

"It was last year, I heard her too," Catherine offered.  "She was telling Julianna that she was still every bit a princess of Gryffindor.  She braved a lot with Draco and his father."

Greg nodded. "She did.  Draco could have been much worse, even worse than when he came in.  Lucius would have turned him into a serial killer easily by himself.  The fact that the boy has feelings is all her doing."

"Wasn't he the snarly blond that mom was helping you with?" Lindsey asked.  Greg nodded. "He's a good guy?"

"Sometimes.  Between her, us, and Alex, he's become a tolerable person with some tact," Emilia offered.

"Aunt Cordy caught him calling someone a mudblood," Greg said with a smirk.  "Soaped his mouth, lectured him, and grounded him.  The boy was nearly in tears by the time she was done with him and she didn't even touch him."

"What's that?" Lindsey asked.

"Someone like you, who's not pure.  It's a derogatory name," Catherine told her.  She gave Greg a look.  "You can say that word?"

"I can," he agreed.  "I've had it hurled at me a few times too.  Lucius was good at that, almost as good as Draco was."

"Fortunately the boy got his mother's brains," Emilia pointed out.  "His father was dumb as a stone before he died."

"He was the perfect Malfoy and he despised Draco because the boy asked things like 'why'.  Draco really improved because Xander treated him like a person who knew his own mind, had some sense, and knew things.  Lucius treated him like a house elf, a retarded one at that.  He expected blind obedience and Draco thought about things before following orders."

"Personally I'm glad Lucius only had him and that little girl," Emilia offered.

"Little girl?" Catherine asked.

"Illegitimate.  Draco had a twin but he died at birth.  Veela males are almost always born as twins," Greg told her.  "The daughter was sent away in shame when the mother was ripped into by Lucius' father."

"Like any other rich kid's father would do," Catherine agreed.  Lindsey gave her a horrified look. "That's why I ordered you away from that one boy, Cass. Their parents like to keep their reputations intact, no matter who they have to step on."

"We're just like everyone else only our powers are a bit bigger," he said with a wink for Lindsey.  "Plus some egos."  He looked around, catching the eye of a waiter.  He waved a hand and went to check on their food, bringing it out with him.  "Thanks, my man."

"You're welcome, Wizard of Blood," he said respectfully.  "Anything else I can do for you today?"

"Just refill the water?" Emilia asked with a smile.  He nodded and hurried to do that, bringing back a pitcher that still had ice crystals on the outside.  "Thank you."  She held up her glass so he could refill it easier.  "Lindsey decided to try some of the charmed items."

Lindsey lifted the lid off her plate carefully, grinning as the beans started to sing to her.  She laughed, grinning at Greg.  "Can you eat them?"

"Sure.  It's just that they've got a spell laid on them," he promised with a grin.  "Good choice.  I used to have that once a week when things were getting tiring."

She dug in and swallowed her first bite, and the singing quit once it hit her stomach.  "Wow."

"That's a neat thing," Catherine agreed.  "Do the twins do that too?"

Emilia shook her head. "If they did that they'd fart or something.  You know the twins, Cat."

"I do," she agreed.

"You know the Weasley twins?" the waiter asked in awe.  "Wow."

"And their wife," Lindsey agreed.  "Tipsy's pregnant again."  The waiter beamed and went to share that news.  "Wow, I feel like one of the popular kids who know a lot of people."

"It's entirely possible that you'll become one," Greg said smugly.  "You know us and most of the Banes."

"The twins might even let you become a limited distributor of their stuff," Emilia suggested.  "Ask them once you're in there."  She nodded.  "Will they be able to fit her in Chicago?" she asked her husband.  "Last I knew he was running behind on creating new wands."

"If not there's always Ollivander," Greg said confidently.  "He can fit nearly anyone."

"That's fine.  She might have to take off Monday, but it should be fine."

"Gil would allow it," Catherine agreed.  "He was happy for her too."  She patted her daughter on the back as the singing stopped.  "Thank you."

"That's not supposed to happen," Greg said, getting up and heading toward the back area.  He looked at the group of potions masters.  "Did you guys just have a charm failure on your food?" he asked as he walked past them.

"Yes, why?" one said angrily.  "Cause it?"

"No, so did Lindsey," he said, frowning as he peeked into the kitchen.  "Oh, fuck me," he sighed.  He pulled his wand and walked in there, stunning the people in masks.  "I've had enough."  He ducked a thrown curse and got the other person, making them scream.  He checked the chef, then grimaced at the lack of a pulse.  "Well, damn it!"  He pulled out his phone, calling Teller.  "The chef at the Luxor was just killed by idiots in masks, a few of who are muggle apparently.  No, I got their guard.  What do you want me to do?"  He grimaced.  "Here?"  He nodded.  "Fine."  He hung up and walked back out, catching the eyes of the staff.  "The chef's dead.  The guys who did it are stunned and frozen, including the wizard running them.  Teller said to call someone," he said quietly.  "Your choice."

"I'll tie them up and then unfreeze them," the head waiter offered.  "Carl, go tell the manager of the resort.  Greg, go ahead and call it in, just give us two minutes."  He glanced at the other wizards.  "What about them?"

"I have no clue," he admitted.  He walked over there.  "Guys, some idiots just killed the chef.  That means that there's going to be cops coming soon.  Teller said so," he said at the sneers popping into being.  They settled down.  "So hide the wands and order another round.  They'll let you out fast."  They nodded and only one left because he was in robes.  He pulled out his phone as he walked back to their table.  "Dispatch, this is CSI Sanders and there was just a homicide at the restaurant I and CSI Willows are at.  We have suspects in custody."  He shot a curse at someone who tried to run out, making them trip as the full body bind happened.  "We need a detective and the CSI unit.  Thank you."  He hung up and sat down again, then took off his robe and folded it up, handing it to his wife, who shrunk it and put it into her purse.  "Sorry, Catherine."

"That happens sometimes," she noted.

The manager of the resort stormed in, glaring at everyone.  "What is going on?"

"They capped the chef," Greg told him.  "They're mostly under rope and in pain."

"Thank you.  You a cop?"  Greg pulled out his ID, making the man grimace.  "Fine, I know it's the law."

"At least it was in here and not the resort itself," Catherine offered.  "Our people are fast and quiet.  We can take him off the loading docks instead of through the resort."

"Thank you for that, ma'am."  He looked around.  "Where's the other two?"

"Penn's in bed with a small allergic reaction and Teller's with him," Greg told him. "I called them first."

"Thank you."  He waited for the detectives to appear, nodding politely at them as they were escorted in.  "Thank you for doing this quietly."

"We understand," the detective said.  It wasn't Brass, it was the other one who worked with them sometimes.  Catherine smiled at him and he grinned back.  "Don't worry, it'll be fine.  Go back to the resort and ignore us."  He nodded, heading out, so the detective strolled over.  "Dinner out to celebrate?"

"I'm going to a new school," Lindsey told him.  "I got offered the chance to go to a private prep school."

"Congrats, kiddo.  I'm sure your mom's real proud of you.  Either of you go in there?"  Greg raised a hand.  "Why?"

"I heard something and went to investigate and snoop," Greg admitted.  "The thugs were tied up.  I got that one," he said, pointing at the guy on the floor.  Emilia muttered something, uncursing him while the detective was looking at the guy on the floor.  He kissed the back of her hand with a grin for her for remembering the little details.   "We'll be here."

"Thanks."  He went to handcuff that one guy then went into the back to start his investigation, letting the uniforms cordon off the kitchen and let in the ME when he finally came.  The young guy was always so prompt.  "Sanders said it was a jump and hit."

"That's fine," he agreed.  "Was he in here?"

Greg peeked in when the detective looked out and caught his eye.  "Yeah?"

"Did you move him?"

"I checked for a pulse on his neck.  He was lying in front of the freezer but the door was open.  One of the waiters may have closed it."  He looked around.  "You might want to check in there for the perps."  The detective opened the door and the uniforms drug out the guys roped together in there.  "Need us for anything?"

"No, thanks," the ME said absently.  "Greg?"  He came back in, letting the door close behind him.  He looked up.  "What killed him?  There's absolutely no marks on the body."

Greg shrugged.  "Cat and I are having dinner with Emilia and Lindsey to celebrate her going to a prep school."

The ME gave him a look.  "Join us later, Greg."

"Sure," he agreed.  "As soon as I get them home and change.  I've got something I've got to do tonight."

"That's fine.  It shouldn't take long."  He went back to the body, starting his notes.  "Dismissed, Greg."

"Sure, sorry."  He left, going out to tell his wife the bad news.  "Not a mark on him."  She sighed.  "So I've got to pop in there later."

"That's fine, sweetie.  Then you can come pick me up for the duel."

"Not a chance," he said with a grin.  "There's no way I'm letting you get in the middle of that."  He kissed her until she got a dreamy look on her face, then smirked at Catherine.  "I'm sure you can help her pick out what she should bring tonight, start making a list."   He stroked her stomach.  "If it wasn't for these guys, I'd let you come," he offered.

"Fine, be that way," she complained.  "I'm perfectly able to help."

He kissed her gently.  "I know.  You're a fierce woman in my defense.  It's appropriate for the woman who stole my heart and keeps it locked in an iron box."

"You did?  Does that mean he's a zombie?" Lindsey asked.

"Only when 'San keeps him up," Emilia assured her with a grin.

She laughed and waved at the guys coming in with their cases.  "Hi, Uncle Nick, Uncle Warrick."

"Hi, Lindsey," Nick said with a grin.  Warrick grinned at her too.  "You guys okay?"

"Just fine.  They kept all the nastiness in there."

"That's good.  Less room to search.  Did they come through here?" Warrick asked.  Greg shook his head.  "Have a good dinner then."  They went back there, nodding at the detective.  "What are they doing here?"

"Lindsey just got accepted into a private school," the detective told them.  "They're celebrating."

"Wow," Nick said, understanding what was being said.  "That's so neat."

"It is," Warrick agreed.  "I guess I know why Gil said I'm on this weekend after all."

"She's probably taking a tour this weekend," Nick agreed.  "What killed him?"  The ME shrugged.  "No idea?"

"Nothing overt like a gunshot or a stab.  Maybe a good conk on the head.  We'll find out during the autopsy."  He finished and waved his assistants in to get the body.  "All yours," he said as he followed the body out.

Warrick glanced outside, then at Nick.  "Lindsey's wearing a robe."

"She is?" Nick asked, looking out there.  "Yeah, I guess she is.  Huh."  He shrugged.  "She's too old from what Greg said."

"True," Warrick agreed, going about the investigation like normal.  Even though he could see a wand in plain sight and there was a catalog on the table for Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes.  He decided to go ask Greg, whispering in his ear.  Greg nodded.  "A reason?"

"Not a clue why," Greg admitted.  "Half and half."

"Thanks."  He called Grissom on the way back.  "The murder Greg called in, it's partially a his sort of thing case," he told him.  "No, so was the vic."  He hung up and went back to it, bagging the wand carefully and the catalog too.  He had seen Greg's copy on his desk.

***

Greg walked into the coroner's section wearing formal dueling clothes and a robe, waving at the ME's.  "Hey, David.  You got a question?" he asked with a grin.

"Can you test to see if it was a...whatever you call them?"

"A charm or a spell is usually how it's put," Greg offered.  "Some of us write sci-fi and fantasy too," he said smugly.  He cast a charm on the body, looking over his body.  "No charms and no poisons."  He put his wand away.  "I'm off to get into a duel with someone who's been trying a few of us.  He challenged me in front of my daughter.  Maybe natural causes?"  He shrugged and left again, going to stick his head into Grissom's office.  "You got them okay?"

"Just fine, Greg.  Taking the wands seems to work and it's a normal part of patting them down," Grissom said, looking over his outfit.  "That's cute."

"Thanks.  I'm off to get into trouble.  I'll be in the normal time tomorrow."  He grinned and walked off, heading to the park via apparation.  He wandered through the park slowly, watching the people out for a midnight stroll, and the muggers who were casing the people to see who had just made big scores.  He stopped one by making him forget and turn away from his chosen victims.  He walked into the grotto, checking his watch.  He had a few minutes.  The other guy appeared in a flash of light and noise, making Greg shake his head and sigh.  "You idiot.  You just wasted a lot of power you could have thrown at me. Didn't your school teach you anything?"

The other wizard stopped to stare at him in shock through his ski mask.  "Who are you?  The morality police?"

"No, but I think it's very unfair of you to rob me of a real fight."

"I took out Penn and a few of your buddies," he sneered.

Greg shrugged.  "You ambushed Penn and if you got the other potions masters, more power to you.  They annoy the fuck out of me sometimes by plotting against me for being good."  He pulled his wand.  "Ready?  Standing or formal?"

"Not giving me a name to inscribe on your tombstone?"

Greg snickered.  "You don't know who I am and yet you challenged me?"

"I see your wife and you with Penn all the time."

"Yeah, he and Emilia are old friends," he agreed happily.  "Then let me introduce myself.  I'm the Wizard of Blood.  I'm a potions master trained in the old world style of kicking ass and a Bane."  He could hear the swallow.  "Now, would you like to exchange the same courtesy?"

"Timothy," he admitted.  "Shall we?"

"Standing or formal?"

"Standing.  I hate that pomp and circumstance."  Then he turned around.

Greg rolled his eyes.  "For future reference, this is a formal duel."  He turned and they paced off the required ten paces.  Then he turned and fired, making the guy groan and fire back a weaker hex that barely caught him on the arm. Greg got him back and the other guy fell with a scream, grabbing his legs.  Greg walked closer.  "That's what happens when you piss off a cranky pregnant woman or her deprived husband," he said dryly.  "Now, I believe you need to leave the city.  You've been pissing us off, you're endangering our anonymity.  Staying will endanger your life."   The wizard nodded so Greg stepped back.  "Leave, now.  Don't come back."  The wizard scrambled up and ran off.  "Good," he muttered.

"That's impressive," a gruff, gnarled voice said from behind Greg.  Greg spun to look at him but the man lifted his revolver.  "Don't try, boy.  My wand's faster than yours."   He stepped forward.  "I saw everything."

"Saw what?" he asked, thinking fast.  This man knew what he was.  "Who are you?"

"I'm Agent Terone," he said with a sneer.  "Your country has been looking for you, boy."

Greg looked at the ratty, dirty clothes, then at the guy again.  "Agent?" he asked dryly.  "You sure?  You don't look like most of the Feds I've ever seen on tv."

"Don't try, boy."  The pistol was raised higher.  "I will shoot you for existing."

Greg sighed.  "Fine.  Try."  He apparated and the guy fired at about the same time, hitting him on the arm.  He landed behind the guy, waving his wand. "Obliviate!" he said firmly, hoping it worked.  If not, he might be moving quickly.  The man stumbled and grabbed his head so Greg 'lifted' his gun with his wand, taking him with him.  He stunned the man, making him follow him out of the park.  He ran into a beat cop and waved him down, wand carefully hidden now.  He canceled the spell as the guy got out, muttering it under his breath while he checked his arm.  Just a graze.  "This guy just tried to shoot me.  He's following me now.  Get him!" he said, sounding hysterical to his own ears.  The cops lunged for the guy, taking the gun from him and dragging him to the ground.  "He said he was a Fed and that my country wanted me."

"People like you would have won us Vietnam!" the man shouted.

"I was three when it stopped!" he shouted back.  One of the cops looked at him and he took off his robe, putting it over his uninjured shoulder, showing off his arm.  "It's just a graze, but he's dangerous.  He's been muttering as he chased me."  He pulled out his ID, only letting the officers see it.  "You can ask my boss, I'm sane."

The officers nodded and got him into the back of the car.  "We'll take him in for evaluation and then in to arrest him.  Do you need an ambulance, sir?" one of them asked.

"No, I'm going to go home and cuddle my daughter and pregnant wife.  I came out here to meet someone and they left.  I was leaving when he tried to jump me.  Fortunately I ducked fast enough!"  He took a few deep breaths.  "I'm sorry, I'm a bit hysterical."

"That's fine, sir.  Let me get you a ride to your house then."  He leaned him against the side of the car, looking at his arm.  "It's just a graze.  Clean it very well and bandage it. You'll be fine."  Greg nodded, staying calm.  "You sure you don't want to go in to have it checked?"

"No, he only got me there," he said, sounding a bit more reasonable now.  "Just get that man help.  Next time he may attack someone who'll be slower or less lucky."

The cop nodded, watching as another car pulled up, this one had a dog in the back.  "We're fine," he called.  "Can you give him a ride home?  He's a CSI."

"Sure.  Get in, sir."  Greg shook the hands of the beat cops and got in, letting the dog sniff the back of his neck.  "You all right?"

"It's just a graze.  It hurts like hell but my wife took classes in field medicine in school."  He leaned his head back, looking back at the dog.  "Hey, guy."

"Girl actually," he said with a smile.  "That's Tashina."

"Hey, Tashina.  You're very well behaved.  Thanks for this, man."

"Not a problem, sir.  What do you do in the lab?  I've never seen you in the field."

"I'm Greg Sanders, the DNA tech," he offered as they drove off.  "I was in the park to meet a friend about something going on in his life.  He left, I turned to leave and he was there to jump me.  I ducked when he raised his gun and it's just barely a flesh wound.  Still hurts," he said, shifting some.  "Then I ran and he followed.  I slowed when I noticed the cops, flagging them down and they pounced.  He said he was a Fed, that I could have won Vietnam for us.  Even though I was three."

The cop nodded.  "A lot of men and women came back messed up from there, sir."

"I've seen, but I've never been attacked before."  He looked at the dog again, she was panting and staring at him.  "Do I smell like a steak or is it from where my wife is pregnant right now?"

"Probably the latter.  She's always been attracted to pregnant women.  Do you need to pick up your car somewhere?"

"No, I live out by Palms if it's okay.  If not, you can drop me at the station and I'll take a cab home from there."

"That's fine, sir. It keeps me from having to chase down purse snatchers."  They shared a smile and he turned to head toward Greg's house.  "You're the guy who's working with the medical guy in your family?"  Greg nodded, eyes half closed.  "I bet that's interesting."

"Pretty muchly," he agreed tiredly.  "I spend a lot of time looking at things in the lab as the new serum runs on tissue samples.  It's a new pain killer that's non-addictive.  That's why people want me."

"I'm betting a lot of people would like that though."

"I know a lot of docs would, but the street people are not happy and the drug companies think this'll knock down their profits."  He shrugged a little then winced.  "Why does it always hurt more afterwards?  Even paper cuts hurt more afterward."

"The adrenalin is wearing off.  If you need to nap, go ahead.  Just don't die on me.  Tashina would have nightmares."

"Hmm.  No, I don't need a nap.  She won't have nightmares on me.  I'm kinda floating right now."  He pointed at a street ahead.  "Go that way.  That leads to my garage.  It's shorter."  The cop pulled that way and he used his keychain remote to open the door.  "That's me," he said happily.  "Thanks, man.  Have an easy night.  You too, Tashina."  He got out, making sure his robe was still over his shoulder.  He waved then went inside, closing the door behind him.  He trudged through and into the kitchen, getting pounced.  "Ow!"

Emilia pulled back to look at him, noticing the rip in his sleeve.  "He had a gun!" she asked hysterically.

"No the old guy who jumped me afterwards had a gun," he said patiently.  "He said he was a Fed too."  He handed off his robe and tenderly pulled off his shirt with a wince, looking down at his arm.  "See, not that bad.  Help me clean it off?"

"Of course.  Get your butt into the bathroom now, Greg!"  He nodded, trudging that way.  She went to talk to their visitors on the porch.  "I'm taking him to clean the gunshot wound on his arm.  Can someone call Poppy to make sure I'm doing this right?"  She hurried up there to check on him, taking the washcloth from his hand to dab at it herself.  "Stupid idiot!  Did you stand there!"

"No, I apparated as he shot.  He caught the end of the duel."  He leaned his head against her shoulder.  "We'll be fine, right?"

"I might kill you for nearly dying but we'll be fine," she promised more gently.  She wiped off the area around his wound.  "It's not so bad I guess."

Blair brought in a floating ball of Poppy's head.  "I captured it from the floo.  Here."

"Thanks.  We're sorry to bother you, Poppy, but what do I do besides wipe it off and bandage it?"

"Is it through his arm?"

"No, it's just a graze thankfully.  He took a duel earlier and the imbecile was caught at the end of the duel."  She checked his arm.  "He was hexed too, that's why he's not feeling it presently."  She found her wand.  "Finite Incantantum," she hissed at his arm, making him flinch.  "Hold still, Greg, let her look."

Poppy stared then nodded.  "Just clean and bandage it.  Put some wound salve on it like you would a bad scrape.  That's basically what that is."  Emilia nodded, smiling at her.  "Isn't there a healer out there?"  Everyone shook their heads.  "Fine, I'll tell someone about that.  Maybe someone at St. Mungoes would like to move.  There's a few who complain about the fog."  Her head disappeared.

"Thanks, Blair," she said with a smile and a kiss to his cheek.

"Hey, I've done these before for Jim," he offered.  "Let me, you go sit."  She gave him a long look.  "I won't do more than bandage him so you can cuddle him to death, Emilia."  She nodded, taking the floating fire with her to put it back.  "I'm kinda glad Alex figured out how to do that," he said as he closed the bathroom door.  "You okay?"

"I hurt like hell," Greg admitted quietly.  "Numbing charm?"

"Coming up," he promised, pulling his wand to cast it.  "It's not bad really.  You won't need to be on life support for it."

"That's always a plus," he agreed, a little happier now.  "I hope someone won't believe him."

"Even if they do, no one can force you to work for the US," he pointed out.  "You could always switch to Scotland Yard and then 'San would be a citizen."  Greg looked a bit happier at that.  "I'm temping in at Salem at the moment.  Their Runes teacher is out with her new baby until the holidays."

"Congrats," Greg praised, grinning at him.  "Feel better?"

"No," he admitted.  "I'm still slowly going insane without my sentinel."

Greg gave him a gentle hug.  "Don't worry about it. He's in good hands and you'll be fine, Blair. Remember, Tipsy keeps all our sanity in check.  That's what's wrong with hers."  Blair laughed and got some gauze to wrap his arm.  "Thanks for the help."

"Not an issue.  I put 'San down.  Teller's outside with Penn; they've probably pounced Emilia by now.  I never thought of using hemorrhoid cream on a boil before, but it worked well enough."

"As long as he doesn't grow the other one, we'll be fine," Teller said from the doorway. "You okay, Greg?"  Greg pointed at his arm.  "Graze?"  Greg nodded with a yawn. "Good, then come join us."

"Sure."  He hugged Blair again.  "Remember what I said.  Tipsy's sanity will continue to slip if yours does."  He got a small smile so he headed down the stairs with Teller.  "I'm fine," he said when he saw Penn pacing. "Poppy said she'd ask around for us."

"Good.  I like that.  The chef?"

"No spell.  I checked."

"Even better.  The wizards they got?"

"Are now wandless.  That's part of the patting down procedure according to Grissom.  Until and unless they get bail, they'll be fine."

"That's good too," Penn agreed.  "The brat?"

"Leaving on the run for his life."  Everyone stared at him.  "I told him to.  That he was endangering us and if he continued I was going to endanger him back.  He left at a dead run."  Penn smirked at him.  "Do not say it, I can be that scary when I want to be.  I wanted to be.  Then that old guy who said he was a Fed was standing there and he said I would be working with them.  He shot as I tried to apparate.  I landed behind him, got him before he could offer a second shot, and made him follow me, where I told the passing patrol that he had shot me, was following me muttering about how we would have won Vietnam if we had fought, which he repeated to them I might add, and that he was dangerous.  They're taking him to the hospital to be examined and then to the jail.  I'm hoping for locked in a padded cell personally.  Can I sit?"  Penn frowned at him so he sat, putting his feet up.  "Lindsey's probably fine.  Right, 'Mil?"

"Just fine.  Catherine dropped me off, she'll bring your car to work tomorrow and you can drive her home."  He nodded.  She kissed him as she slid into his lap.  "Are you all right?  Really all right?"

"I'm kinda sore and achy in that arm. It had been petrified before then.  I'm fine otherwise, just a bit worried."

"No, you did good," Penn assured him.   "Just what I would have done."

"That second detective might need to know something," Teller offered gently.  "He was looking a bit confused earlier when I saw him."

"The resort's manager asked where you two were," Greg told him.  "I explained that you were sick in bed, Penn, and that Teller was with you."

"Again, what I would have done," Penn agreed. "No other problems?"

"Not unless that guy was really a fed," Greg assured him.  "Did it work for real?"  Penn nodded, grinning at him.  "Hmm, we might have to test that to make sure it works on the natural ones too."

"We'll leave you two to cuddle in peace," Teller said, giving Penn a head nod toward the pool.  "You guys behave and come see us soon."

"Or let us have 'San again," Penn said with a bright grin.  "She's a wonderful stage helper."

"She said her first word today," Emilia said proudly.  "It's 'Mo.  As in Elmo."

Teller giggled.  "It figures she would be unique, even among us.  Have a better night, guys."  They went outside and apparated off.

Greg leaned against his wife's body.  "I'm tired.  You?"

"Yup, sure am," she agreed.  She led him up the stairs and put him into bed, tucking herself next to him to cuddle.  "Tell me if I bump it."

"Sure, 'Mil.  Love you."

"Love you too, studly."  He laughed but it was weak and he was quickly snoring.  "Maybe I'll have someone design a protective shield around you," she said softly, stroking his chest. "You live such a dangerous life, Gregory.  I should tell Snape on you."  He rolled toward her, putting his injured arm around her body.  "Love you."

***

Grissom looked up as Greg walked by his doorway.  "Greg, could you come here, please?" he called.  Greg came back in.  "Shut the door."  Greg did so, standing in front of him.  "Greg, I tried my contacts last weekend and something amazing happened."  He noticed the flinch.  "You did do something.  Something like a hearing aid spell?  The doctor said most of the growth had come back already."

"Blair and I did it," he admitted, slumping a bit.  "Grissom, you'd die if you had to retire.  I realize that and you've helped me so much that the group and I got together to help you back a bit.  We weren't going to let you know, just do it when you changed frames."

"Then it was on my glasses," Grissom said.  Greg nodded.  "When?  The day I lost them?"  Greg nodded again, giving him a small, hopeful smile.  "I'm not mad, Greg.  It was incredibly sweet of you to do that for me," he assured him.  "I even know why you didn't tell me, so I wouldn't expect you to keep doing things like this all the time.  Magic's not a remedy, it's a useful tool for you."  Greg nodded at that.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  Just remember to let me have your new ones when you change frames.  It'll take about a day."

"That's fine, Greg.   My doctor couldn't find a reason why I had excellent hearing most of the time.  He suspects my glasses are pinching in just the right spot to make the sound hit the bones correctly."  He gave him a smile.  "We're good."

"Thanks.  Do I have a stack waiting on me?"

"No, not yet.  It's been a pretty slow day.  How's the arm?"

"Sore," he admitted.  "I put some salve on it at home but it's still aching a lot.  I've got tylenol in my desk though so I'll do it that way."

"Good boy.  One last thing.  There is a Fed here for you.  The hard, bitter man thinks you belong to him?"

"No, I don't belong to him.  I belong to Emilia.  She'd never use me for wicked purposes."  He grinned and headed out to his office, taking something for his arm first.  He saw the man all-but marching up the hallway and put on his jacket.  He did a pocket check then pulled out a new roll of life savers just in case he needed to suck on something.  "What?" he asked the man when he came in, sorting through his samples and the files.  He always prioritized by those that were the more serious crimes or had the least time to last.

"We've been looking for you, Mr. Sanders. Your country needs you."

"My country can blow me.  You guys have enough DNA techs at the FBI and I'd rather not have to work in a lab that's got such a bad reputation for losing and mishandling samples.  Anything else?"

"You know what I mean, Mr. Sanders."

Greg looked at him, putting everything down to get into the guy's face.  "Get out of my office," he said in a polite, conversational tone of voice.  "There is nothing that will make me ever work for someone like you.  Or your bosses, or their bosses.  For that matter, your supreme leader is someone who'd probably start witch burnings again.  People like you make me ill.  Now, get out of my office.  Even if you came with papers, you're still not getting me.  I may not like to fight, but I will and you can't win against me.  Even if you got lucky and shot me again, you'd only have to face my wife and my friends.  There's enough of them that you'd all be overrun within a few hours.  They're mean enough to kill you.  I'm the nice one of the group, outside the priest.  Get it right, before I have to remember what those people I used to hang with taught me."  The Fed stepped back, getting away from him.  "Anything else?"  He shook his head quickly.  "Then forget you ever heard of us, agent. It's more healthy and more conductive to happiness.  Trust me on this."  He turned and ran.  Greg popped in a butter rum lifesaver and went back to his sorting.  One had possibly expired so it did it first.  Sperm samples were really delicate if not done in a certain amount of time. He'd warn the others on his break that the US hadn't really given up.

***

Dawn looked at the dragon crawling up her lap, smirking at the way it was hunched down while it snuck and was wiggling its tail back and forth, then she pretended to ignore it.  Keelian liked to pounce.   True to form, Keelian pounced her head, licking her nose when she squeaked in alarm, because he liked it when she did that.  "Keelian!"  She pulled him off her neck and hugged him. "Did you pounce me?" she teased, stroking his stomach gently.  "You are such a pouncing dragon."

"Miss Summers, you're spoiling the dragon and hurting our eardrums," Professor Flitwick warned.

"Sorry, sir, Keelian just pounced."

"I saw him, Miss Summers.  Give him here."  He climbed down off his pillows and took the dragon to put on his lectern, petting it gently.  "Stay there, Keelian."  He went back to his lecture.  "Now, shall we get back to the spells at hand?"  The students went back to trying to make the papers in front of them fold themselves.  It was 'handy charm' day in class.  Dawn squealed, making him jump, so he turned to look at her, a frown already in place.  At least until he saw the thing in front of her.  "Who let an imp in here!" he demanded.

"Listen, you slimy little hellish messenger of pranks, get the hell off my desk and away from my paper before I slay you!" she said angrily, pulling out the dagger she always carried with her.  The imp disappeared before she could stab it, so the knife went into the wood instead.  She took a few deep breaths.  "Imps are cowards," she reminded herself calmly.  "I'm going to get a drink, sir."

"Miss Summers, is that a knife?"

"No, sir, it's a dagger and the headmaster knows I carry it, sir."  She hid it again and got up.  "I'll be right back, sir."  She walked out, going to get a drink from a water fountain.  This was not a happy occurrence.  She heard stomping coming toward her and looked over at Snape.  "An imp just popped in on top of my desk."

"An imp!" he demanded.  She nodded.  "Why?"

"Not a clue, sir, but I tried to stab it and it disappeared.  Someone's playing dangerous games to try to best Luna."  He frowned at her.  "She'd never do that to me!" she said angrily, stomping her foot.

"That is probably true enough," he admitted. "I will look into the matter.  Go back to class, Miss Summers."

"Yes, sir."  She straightened herself out and went back inside.  "Sorry, sir, Professor Snape asked me what I was doing."

"That's fine, Miss Summers.  See me later?"

"Yes, sir," she agreed, doing the charm on a new piece of paper and handing over the delicate rose with a grin.

"That's excellently done, Miss Summers.  Fifteen points for that and the timely save."  He patted her on the back.  "Go sit down."  She nodded, taking the dragon with her to pet.  He shook his head.  That dragon was going to have to be weaned from her someday soon.

***

Snape stormed into the Headmaster's office.  "Miss Summers said someone just conjured an imp to try to scare her."

"A what!"

"An imp," he said grimly.  "She reported she did the correct thing and tried to stab it, making the little coward leave."  He crossed his arms.  "She didn't seem to think it was Lovegood."

"No, it wouldn't be.  Demonic imp?"   His potions master gave him a long, cool stare.   "Never mind.  She stabbed it?"

"She reported she tried.  They are fairly cowardly and they would run at the first sign of retaliation.  It appeared in charms."

"Fine.  I'll talk to her about that," he said weakly.  "Find out who is trying demonic magic, Severus.  I want to talk to them as well."

"Yes, sir.  I'll screen out Lovegood first."

"Please do so.  Perhaps she could help you somehow."  He waved a hand.  "Go. Find them."  Snape nodded, leaving him alone.  "What now?" he moaned, holding his head.

Luna and Ginny ran into Snape's empty classroom between classes.  "I felt someone doing something," Luna panted.  "Who?"

Snape looked at them.  "Someone cast an imp at Miss Summers."

"I'll kill the bitch," Ginny said, shocking the others.  "I know who it is.  I've seen her doing it.  She wants to be more popular and she thinks it'll help her.  She's in Dawn's own house."  Snape looked really alarmed at that.  "Sir, permission to kick her around before we bring her to you?"

"Denied.  Bring her to me, then we'll see if you can kick her about a bit," he ordered grimly.   "A Hufflepuff?" he had to ask finally.  "Doing demonic magic?"

"Power brings popularity," Luna reminded him firmly.  "It's one of the tenets of your house and mine."  He nodded, that much was true.  "If she tries, I'll take down her kit.  She's got to have at least an altar, sir."

"That's fine.  Find her, bring her to me here, then we'll clean her work area once we find it.  I doubt she's doing this sort of thing in her room."

"She could be, it's not like the other Hufflepuffs would stop her," Ginny pointed out.  "They're nice kids who wouldn't think a thing of it."

"Fine.  I'll have a talk with Madam Sprout and we'll search the tower.  Go back to class once you find her for me."

"Yes, sir," Ginny agreed, tugging on Luna's sleeve until she followed.  "I knew it was something.  That danger charm we did is really warm when something's going on."

"My bracelet danced like it was supposed to too," Luna admitted.  She heard a shriek and they took off running to save Dawn from the cloud of bees around her.  Luna cast a banishing charm and they all headed outside at high speed.

"Dawnie!" Ginny said, holding her.  "Are you all right?"  She nodded, growling now.  "We know who it is.  We're getting her now."

"Good.  Let's go," she decided, stomping up to her house and opening the door.  The portrait gave them a horrified look but let them in.  Dawn ran up the stairs and kicked in the door, interrupting the next attempt by grabbing the girl by her braid.  "Bitch, we've got to talk," she sneered, making the older girl look at her.  "You're so fucking dead."

"Snape wants her," Ginny said frantically, trying to get Dawn off the girl who had tested her for getting together with Ron.  "Let's take her down there."

"Help!" the girl screamed, kicking at her altar.  "Help me!"

Luna pulled her away from there and looked at the setup, canceling the portal starting to pull an elemental into the school.  She sneered at the girl.  "Poser.  That's now how you do it.  Would you like to find out how you do it?  I can call one right now, one inside of you if I want."  The girl babbled and cried as Ginny and Dawn dragged her off.  Luna went back to work neutralizing the things on the altar until the proper people could come in to finish it for her.  Madam Sprout and the Headmaster came in together, with Snape not far behind.  "She was trying to summon a fire elemental via portal, I canceled that and the major work she had going," she reported stiffly.   "She was trying to suck beauty from the other girls from her notes, but it was going to suck their energies instead from what I saw.  I know she cast the imp spell, we felt her do it.  I know she cast the bees as well because we felt her do it and she's still got the cut on her hand from where she used her blood to summon the creatures.  Do you want my help taking this thing apart?"

"No, Miss Lovegood, I think you've done excellently," Dumbledore praised.  "Any idea how long she's been doing this?"

Luna looked, then looked back at him, picking up her diary.  "This is dated six months before Dawn started.  It says her first potion worked to change her hair color."  She handed it over.  "I glanced at the first page and the last few.  She needed a teacher, that's why she's not so far into it.  If you don't need me, I have Herbology this period, Headmaster."

"You have a study hall, spend it outside," Madam Sprout said, giving her a hug.  "Thank you, Miss Lovegood."

"Not a problem," she said, sounding more cheerful.  "I'd look for other places where she might have done things.  There's no signs here of the animal sacrifices the diary hinted at."  She walked out, going to pick up her things from Runes, then heading outside.  "Sorry, Professor Callahan, I was breaking up a demonic altar.  She was picking on Dawn."

"Really?" he asked, looking her over.  "Who?"

"That same Hufflepuff who gives Dawn grief over being with Ron.  She was the source of the imp.  I saw you jump."

"I've always been attuned to the unholy nasties in the world," he admitted gently.

"Then can you *please* tell the headmaster I'm not one of them?"

"Of course," he agreed with a smile.  "Where is he?"

"Upstairs in Hufflepuff.  The present password was Junebug."  He nodded, and she left.

He gathered himself together and went up there, going to offer his services.  "Headmaster, would you like me to work with Professor Snape and Miss Lovegood to find her other spots?" he offered quietly.  "I do know a bit about this area myself."

"Not surprising," Snape said dryly.  "How would you go about it?"

"She's got a magic signature.  You can do a tracing."

"Interesting method.  It would get her classrooms."

"We could weed those out easily enough," Philip pointed out with a gentle smile.  "I've got a 'feel' for unholiness still, Severus."  He nodded at that, acknowledging that Philip was his superior in the area.  "Also, Miss Lovegood does not set that off."  Everyone stared at him. "She's doing chaos, not demonic magic.  She consorts, but she's not personally doing it at this moment.  She wanted me to note that for your benefit."

"That's good news," Dumbledore said happily.  "I'll leave you two to that then.  Come, Madam Sprout, we need to talk to this young lady.  I believe Severus kept the girls from harming her too badly.  Though she seems to be missing some hair at the moment."

"Dawn was dragging her by her hair," Snape agreed, smirking at him.  "I suppose we should be thankful that Miss Summers isn't allergic to bee stings."

"Oh, I felt that one too," Philip assured him.  "I put a shield around her.  She shouldn't have a single sting.  She is slightly allergic."  They got to work taking apart the altar, carefully storing each and every piece of equipment and all the herbs and candles.  "She did a good job of interrupting things."

"Miss Lovegood did so," Snape offered.

"Then she's definitely knowledgeable.  A real asset to the craft since she still fights."  Severus gave him an odd look.  "If she weren't a good girl, Ginny Weasley would never put up with her," he reminded gently.

"Good point," Snape agreed finally.  "Do you think she'll become like Wesley was?"

"No," he said with a smirk.  "That would be a conflict and Ethan might not like that, but she'll probably teach all her little ones in the future.   Wes seems like the sort who'd correct all the bad his parents did by having some to teach right."

"I hope I never have to teach them," Snape said bitterly.  "That would be a bit too much to take."

Philip grinned and nudged him. "Come on, Severus.  Just think about a little Luna and Wes in here, with their hellhound nanny?"  Snape shook his head, groaning a bit.  "Or even a little Luna who's going to be a bit too much like her daddy and be very adoring as long as she's got good parents?"

"I'll retire and let Gregory take my job at that point," he noted.  "I do not want to teach their children.  The same as I don't want to teach Potter's."

"Harry likes girls but it's like they confuse him.  It's like he's never really had a relationship with anything or anyone," Philip pointed out more gently.  "It's entirely possible that the boy doesn't know how to care for a girl, or anyone."  Snape looked stunned.  "I'd look for odd things in his first one.  Either she'll run him over or he'll start to treat her like his uncle did his aunt.  That's the only example he has."  He smiled.  "Then again, it's not my place to say that since I'm not family."

"I'll have Holly watch him for such incidences," he agreed quietly, taking the point.  While they worked, he added up the total of what little he knew of Potter's home life and it didn't seem to add up.  "Didn't they treat each other well?"

"Each other?  I suppose.  She was a weaker homemaker sort and his uncle was the supposed man of the family.  Did they like Harry?  Not a bloody chance.  I heard Alex going off on them a few months back when someone told him something about them."

This did bear looking into and Holly would be the appropriate person to do so.  "Should we watch him for him to join the duo to make it a trio?"

"No, I doubt it," Philip snorted.  "He has no idea what to do with a girl and he loves Ron like a brother."

"Good.  A Weasley-Potter would be horrible on the world."

"It'd give the twins someone to take over if theirs don't."

"That's a thought worthy of drinking heavily," Snape said dryly, cracking the other teacher up.  A thought occurred to him.  "I do hope Albus went to shoo my students to a study hall."

"Mine too," Philip agreed with a grin. "Otherwise we'll have a mess and a half to clean up."

"That's what Gryffindors are good for," Snape reminded him.

"Not true.  The world needs foolish hero sorts to write songs and stories about," Philip reminded him with a grin.  Snape pressed his lips together but you could tell he was trying not to laugh.  "Have you heard the new song about the final battle?  Sounds like Harry's a Valkyrie."

"That boy would never make it in such a job," he sneered, lightly of course.  He liked Philip a lot.  He always had.  "He's got too much of a violent streak in him.  He enjoys the destruction when he causes it."

"Ah, then he's a young man then," Philip said fondly.  "They all like to see big explosions and make things explode, and things of that nature.  Good to know he's normal some ways."

Snape did burst out laughing this time, he couldn't help it.  "You are insane," he noted.

Philip smirked at him. "Insane is a matter of opinion," he pointed out.  "I think I'm totally sane, therefore I am."

Snape shook his head.  "Remember what they say about those who believe they're the only sane ones in the world, Philip."

"I know there's others. You seem to be sane most of the time."

"Thank you. I try not to let the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs get to me too much."

Philip nudged him.  "That's what you've got a wife for," he pointed out with a smirk.  "To wear out that nasty stress with."  Snape looked stunned so Philip smirked at him.  "I've had that thought before.  I need to find myself one of those soon."

"I'll ask if Holly has any relatives."  Now he knew he was insane.  It was all the influence of Alex and Potter, it had to be.  Even Severus had felt his own sanity slipping on occasion after having to deal with those two together.  Though it did explain Potter so much.

***

Dawn was drug into the headmaster's office by her collar, sighing in defeat as she was stood in front of the desk.  "What did I do this time?"

"You are not allowed to enter private residences while in town," Snape informed her.

"Dude, it's Harry's and Ron's bolt hole.  It's not like it's someone else's and I'm cheating on Ron.  Harry just wanted lunch with me.  It'd be like any of the kids who lived in town going home for a snack."

"It does not look right and you must be aware that there were press people in town," Snape said firmly.   "Tomorrow's headline will have you shagging someone in an apartment in town and us responsible for letting you."

She snorted.  "They all saw Harry pick me up in the quill shop!  Hello, they were following my butt around again talking about how fit it was.  They cooed when Harry gave me a hug and called me his little sister and invited me up for tea."

"Still, it is not proper," Dumbledore said gently. "Sneak away next time, Dawn."  He smiled at her.  "There has been an offer for you to visit with one of your friends tomorrow to talk to a newly emerging witch.  We have gotten your Aunt Anacordina's permission already if you would like to go.  Mr. Saunder's coworker's daughter just got her letter and they start later over there."

She squealed and hugged him.  "Oh, my God, that would be so cool!  I could even do a bit of shopping with Lindsey.  I never knew she was a witch, that'll be killer!  Which school is she going to?"

"Chicago, I believe," Snape admitted.  "I would be taking you."

"You just wanna play with 'San," she teased.  "She's got you wrapped around her fingers like she does her daddy because she likes the lab."  He glared at her and she grinned brighter. "I know she does.  She did it to her dad and now to you."  She looked at the Headmaster. "I'd love to go.  When and where should I meet him?"

"Out front would be fine and after breakfast.  Try to be reasonably attired, Miss Summers," Snape said, looking over her present outfit.  "That is not."

"What's wrong with it?" she pouted.  "I look cute!"

"Indeed, that's the problem. You look *cute*.  Try harder tomorrow."

"You'd rather I wore that black dress to the City of Sin and easy sex?"

"No," he admitted, changing his mind.  "Never mind, wear that outfit."  He turned and stomped off to find something to take that image out of his mind. His wife stopped him and gave him a kiss and it was magically gone.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  What did she do this time?"

"I advised Miss Summers to wear something different tomorrow, something to make her less cute and she suggested she wear the black dress."

"No, I don't think Dawn needs to wear a concubine's dress to Vegas.  Ron might get pissed when someone tried to take what was his and marry her.  Or pay her, depending on the man."

He shuddered so she kissed him gently.  "Thank you," he said.  "Are you ready to go back down?"

"Just fine."  She took his arm, letting him lead the way down there.  She waved at McGonagall.  "He's going to take me shopping since my parents have most of my stuff and won't give it back."

"We could always send Miss Lovegood after them," McGonagall suggested slyly.  "She's been a bit bored and upset recently."

Snape gave her a look.  "That is a truly wicked idea, Minerva.  Thank you."  He walked his wife on, forcing himself to forget that idea.  It was bad.  It was more evil than he was.

Too bad she had overheard and had decided to go anyway.

***

Luna tapped politely on the door, smiling at the woman who answered.  "Hello, my Ethan snuggly sent me to gather the rest of Holly's things.  Otherwise she's going to be forced to wear her husband's undies and the like," she said as she pushed her way inside.  She bowed to Justinius.  "Ethan said I should kick your bum," she said conversationally.  "He said he's always liked Holly and that he likes her best with Severus.  He would appear here but he seems to have this power flux going and it'd likely destroy the house if he appeared inside.  He did say he might pop up for tea however."  She headed up the stairs.  "Which is her room?  She gave me a list of what to pack."

"Hold it," Justinius said firmly.  "Who are you?"

"Luna Lovegood."  She saw the blanches and smiled.  "I'm still mostly a good girl, but really.  He is most upset and I do tend to follow what my consort wills me to do when it's fun and informative.  As a matter of fact, Holly promised I could borrow her book on advanced sex magic rites if I found her lingerie for her.  Which room is hers again?"

"Last one on the hall," Justinius said, pointing with a shaking hand.  "You're Ethan's student?"

She nodded, smirking at him.  "And lover.  Though, my stallion is quite something else and he's fond of Ethan as well.  Wesley is quite wonderful at giving me what I need and Ethan what I want."  She finished flouncing up the stairs and went to pack things for Holly, including one real outfit for her.  That way her spouse could dress her however he liked best.  She did pack a second bag of the rest of her things, including the pictures, and intended to give it to Severus so he could dole out what he wanted to see her in.  She skipped back down the stairs with the bags, literally, and waved before departing.  "Thank you for not making me prove it."  She shut the door and used the portkey back.

Justinius looked at his wife.  "It appears Uncle Ethan found a girl worthy of his nature."

She sneered.  "She's barely legal, only a girl!"

Ethan appeared and the house shook.  "Sorry," he said gruffly.  "I still can't control that part."  He looked at them.  "Yes, she's barely eighteen but I like her like that.  She's enthusiastic about the world and what I can teach her, without losing her idealism."   He smiled. "Now, how about some tea while I fill you in on how Severus broke in your little girl at *her* request.  She knows a good thing when she latches onto its neck and sucks a big hickey on it."

"I do not need that sort of information," Justinius decided.  "Mel, Ethan's here," he called.  "Wife, tea?"  She stomped off, frowning greatly.  "Sorry, she wants a grandchild soon."

"Ask Holly, she may yet give you one.  Even though Severus is very good at making contraceptive potions."  He paused, then shook his head.  "I've got to talk to Severus about checking Dawn's.  She's been botching it each and every time."  He shook his head again and smiled at his student. "Come, let's sip some tea and talk about what you've been doing recently.  I've moved up a spot in the hierarchy by making the one above me admit I'm better than he is while fucking him greatly."  Justinius patted him on the arm and led him into the study.

***

Snape walked into Hufflepuff later that night, looking around.  "Where is Summers this time?" he sneered, breaking up the nail polishing the boys were doing on each other's feet.

"Summers, visitor," one yelled.  "It's Snape!"

"Coming!"   She came trotting down the stairs.  "Yes, sir?"

"I got the most distressing notice.  You've been botching the contraceptive potion?" he hissed so no one would hear him.  She went pale.  "Bring me a sample and I will show you how to do it correctly.  I refuse to teach a child of yours in the future."  She swallowed and nodded, running back up the stairs to get the remaining vial she had.  Then she followed him down the stairs.  He tested it on the way, moaning in agony.  "You are quite lucky, Miss Summers.  This is botched horribly!  It's actually a fertility potion!"  She 'eep'ed and slumped a bit.  "We will be showing you the correct way before you go near your arrogant little twit of a boyfriend.  This is unacceptable!  I will not teach a child from you two!"

"Chill," she complained, glancing around.  "Ron makes his own too!"

"Probably no better than you do," he growled, opening the door to his classroom.  "Inside, now."  She walked in, shoulders truly slumped now.  He stopped outside to send a blistering comment at Alex, then went in to teach her the correct method of birth control used in the wizarding world.  "The only worse thing than a child between you two would be if Miss Lovegood and Miss Weasley had one together and then those children mated and produced an heir."

Dawn blinked a few times.  "They can do that?"

His growl stopped that thought cold.  She'd have to research that later.

The Next Great Wizard

"Ron, you've been messing up the birth control potion!" Xander yelled, making Ron jump and give him a horrified look.  "Ethan told Sev.  He's teaching her the correct method now.  I suggest that your streak of luck continues and that she *never* *EVER* get pregnant, Ron."

"No, never, Alex," he said, eyes wide.  "Oh, Merlin," he muttered.  "I've been buying mine already made," he promised.  "I know I can't make one to save my life, Alex.  I promise I'd never knock up your little sister until she wants a kid."

Draco cleared his throat, then grabbed Ron by the balls.  "I suggest that you remove even the thought of a child between you from your head. I have enough problems with you dating my little sister and possibly having sex with her.  I do not need details," he said, squeezing harder, "nor do I need to know the specifics of how your birth control may have failed."  He gave them the hardest squeeze yet, making Ron fall to his knees and pull the balls from his hand.  "I suggest you never defile Dawn that way again, Ronald.  If she wants sex she can jump you from now on, correct?"  He nodded quickly.  "Good," he said with a smirk.  "I like the fact that my sister is innocent and special.  Not the fact that you make her sweaty and wet.  By the way, you've been broadcasting about her and talking in your sleep while you have dirty, nasty dreams about my little sister.  Do stop it now, thank you."

"You'd rather he have them about his buddy Harry?" Paulo asked with a smirk.

"I don't care if he buggers Potter night and day until he can't sit on a broom.  I do care that he seems to want to do it to my sister.  As what he was babbling last night showed."  He glared at Ron again.  "Remember, I'm being polite now.  I can be worse."

"Draco, honey, that's enough," Xander soothed, patting him on the back.  "I'm sure you won't have to watch him defile Dawn and neither will I for a very long time."  He led his mate off, taking him to their bedroll to cuddle him into better humor.  "We won't have to know the specifics of Ron and Dawn's sex life and we won't have to face down a kid of theirs when they steal the cookies."  Draco nodded, putting his head on his mate's chest.   "Don't worry, there won't be any kids from those two for a very long time and by then we might be dead on the job."

"That's a cheerful thought," Draco agreed more happily.

Paulo helped Ron up and out to the mouth of the cave, watching as he got some snow to ice the swollen and aching parts of his body. "Think about how you'd be with your sister in the circumstance," he said gently.  "I about killed my sister's first boyfriend when I found out they were having sex and they were married at the time."

Ron moaned.  "No, Ginny's still pure.  She works with unicorns.  She'll be staying that way if I have my way."

Paulo smiled. "Good boy, Ron.  Be a good big brother."

"I try," he admitted.  "Damn, that hurt.  Draco's damn good at that.  Got the hairs too."

"I figure he's probably held Alex's enough times to know just what not to do," Paulo agreed with a smirk.  "Think you can go back to work?"

"Yeah, I think I can, as long as I can sit," Ron offered, going back inside, wiping his eyes off.  That had ached!  He was still walking funny.  He might still be walking funny when he met up with Dawn again.

***

Emilia looked up as an owl flew in off their porch, taking the letter it dropped and letting it have some of her toast to peck at while she read the letter.  Her sudden bout of laughter made everyone give her an odd look so she waved the paper.  "There's a new plot to take over the world.  They want Dawn and Greg to have a kid," she said, laughing harder.

Greg looked horrified. "I'd never touch her, she's a kid," he complained.

"She is also a powerful witch," Severus said, considering it.  "She's power incarnate and you're control and balance.   The child could be the next great wizard."

"I'd have to kill her," Emilia said, smirking at him.  "Even if it was done in a petri dish and implanted, I'd have to kill her."

Greg gave her a long look.  "*You'd* have to kill her?" he said incredulously.  "Think about what my poor sperm would have to go through in *her* body!  There's no way in hell!  This has got to be the newest Death Eater plot," he muttered, going to pace out by the pool so his beloved daughter wouldn't wake up from her nap.

"Honey, it could be worse, it be you and Luna," she called, smirking at his slam of their patio door.  "It could," she told Severus with a smirk.

Severus considered it then shuddered.  "That is a disgusting thought," he noted dryly.   "I've found the worst child possible.  If Lovegood and the Weasley chit have one, then they mate with the inevitable Dawn and Ron offspring."

Emilia shuddered, wrapping her arms around her stomach.  "If that ever happens, warn us so we can evacuate the country.  Please?" she pleaded.  "I'll even talk Greg into naming you 'San's guardian while she's at school."

He shook his head.  "No, thank you.  I don't like children."

"And yet, you teach," she said dryly, smirking at him.  "You teach kids like Dawn."

"Fortunately I didn't have to teach Alex," he said happily, smirking at her.  "You should probably calm him down."

"He'll be back in a few minutes," she said with a hand wave.  "He's trying to keep me calm."  Catherine and Grissom walked in together.  "Someone came up with a sure way to end the world.  They want Dawnie and my pookie to have a kid."

"Which one was Dawn again?"

"The third of the trio with Luna and Weasley," Severus told him.  "The one who makes outrageously loud squealing noises for no reason."

"The fashionable brunette you only saw the back of, Gil.  She was the one lip-locked with Ron the whole time they were in last time."

"Oh, her," he said, smiling at them.  "Why?"

"She's power and he's control," Severus told him simply.

"Though, according to the note, they want Greggy to be the mommy," Emilia said with a smirk.

"I didn't know wizards knew about DNA manipulation," Grissom said happily.

"Most wouldn't," Severus said thoughtfully.  "Not even most creatures or potions people.  Gregory!"  Greg came back in, taking deep breaths.  "She found a new wrinkle.  They want you to be the mother."

"That would mean someone knew how to manipulate eggs and sperm," Greg said thoughtfully.  "I want them, before I get nightmares."  He pulled his wife up to cuddle.  "Please make them stop?"

"We'll protect you from her," Emilia soothed, stroking his back.  "Can I sit, Greg?  My back still hurts."  He carefully sat her down again, sitting beside her to rest his head against her thigh.  "Thank you."  She stroked through his hair until she heard a squeal.  "Either the girls are back or 'San's picked up on a new habit," she said grimly.

"We'll have to stop that one," Greg agreed.  "'San?  We're down here."  She came to the top of the stairs and sat down, bumping down them on her butt.  "Good girl," he praised when she got to the bottom and ran over to climb in his lap.  "Good, Cassandra."  He kissed her on the temple, letting her crawl over him to get to the mother.  "Sure, you have the mommy.  She's very comfy to cuddle."

"You can have some later," she promised, smiling down at him.  "Then maybe we'll talk about breastfeeding."

"That is more than I wanted to know about your personal relationship," Severus said dryly, frowning at them.

She gave him a long look, then smirked at him slowly. "Why, Severus, are you *jealous*?  Should I hint at Holly?"

"If you do, I'll force your mate to spank you in an unfun manner.  Then I'll make sure certain young, excitable women continue to botch their birth control potions."  He smirked meanly.  "Which you'll get to teach when I retire."

Greg whimpered, shaking his head slowly.  "She's doing what?" he asked finally.  Severus' smirk got colder.  "Tell me she's just routinely botching it by making it too strong?"

"Too much moss."

"She's making fertility potions!" he asked, jumping up, grabbing his mentor/big brother by the lapels of his robe.  "She's doing it on purpose?"

"No, Dawn doesn't like kids," Catherine soothed, removing the white-knuckled grip from the soft fabric.  "Don't worry about it, I'm sure it's an innocent mistake."

"It had better be, she's making a fertility potion!" Greg said, edging toward hysterical now.  "The only worse kid would be if Alex and Ron had a kid!"

"Or him and Tipsy or the twins," Grissom said smugly.

Greg winced.  Then he shuddered.  "No, they'd be hellions but Ron's got control problems.  He's got no blockage between his mouth and his brain.  He's got a temper nearly as bad as Alex's.  He'd be worse.  The twins have some control."

"Here's an idea, Penn and Alex?" Emilia asked with a smug look at her mate.  He gave her an odd look in return.  "Think about it."

"The kid would be the mage of destruction," Greg snorted.  "Or the most flamboyantly gay stage wizard ever."  His wife cracked and laughed.  "I've got one.  Alex and the Prof.  Alex's mouth and the prof's patience and temper."

"Nope, I think he had the best one," Emilia told him.  "Sev suggested Luna and Ginny having one and then they breed with Dawn and Ron Jr."

Greg paused, then moaned and rubbed his forehead, letting out a whimper.  "By then, we'll be retired and 'San can teach them."

"You'd do that to our baby?" Emilia asked, starting to pout. "That's *mean*, Greg!"

"Please don't pout," he begged, hugging her again.  "I'd be in the shadows behind her.  I'd help her by letting her vent and all that good stuff.  I'd even sub if she needed me to," he promised.  "I wouldn't leave her *all* alone with the hellions."

She kissed him on the cheek.  "Still, you'd be mean enough not to warn her."

He kissed her gently, nibbling on the pouting lips.  "Of course I'd warn her.  I'd have to because Holly would if I forgot.  Sev might be that mean, but I never would," he promised.

"Good."

Grissom shook his head.  "I can see the next group meeting where someone brings those up.  Sandburg will probably be able to find worse."

"Probably," Emilia, Greg, and Severus agreed in unison.  Blair did have an odd mind, it was well accepted in the group.

"If not, Tipsy surely will," Emilia added with a smirk.  "Any idea where the girls are?"

"It's only been four hours, they're still at the mall," Catherine said wisely.  "Dawn's been mall deprived while at school."

"You guys don't have malls?"

"More like lots of little shops usually tucked together," Severus told him.  "More of a bazaar feeling than not at times."  He rubbed his forehead again.  "I think I've given myself a headache.  Do you have anything, Greg?"

"Kitchen, second cabinet to the right of the sink," he said immediately.  Severus dipped his head and walked that way.  "So, any bad kids this year that'll rival Longbottom?"

"Not yet," he said, sounding a bit happier.  "No one's exploded the entire dungeon yet.  Some minor accidents but nothing that disastrous."   He sniffed the potion then took one.  "Thank you," he said as he came back out.  "I put the vial in the sink."

"Not an issue," he promised happily.  He stroked his kids, making them shift under his hand and his wife grunt in pain.  "Sorry."

"No, it's okay.  They were napping for a long time.  It's good to know that they're still fine."  She stroked his hair again.  "How long before we should expect the ladies?"

"Probably a few hours.  Enough time to get dinner started," Catherine offered.  "I brought some rib stuff, it's still in the car."

"Then go get it," Emilia encouraged with a smile.  "We can 'cue in the back."  Catherine smiled and they went to start on the dinner, knowing that Severus' peculiar and picky nature meant that he'd be helping soon enough, and so would Greg even though he couldn't cook.

Grissom flinched at the large air displacement 'boom' that went off in the living room.  "Hello," he called.

"We are free!" Alex shouted.  "Their first real job and they're free!"

"Cool.  Why are you here?" Greg asked dryly.

"Because there's not enough hot water in all of England to make me feel clean and our hot water heater's broken at home," Draco admitted.  "Sorry about the stench.  We've just spent the last month in a cave without running water."

"Go, bathe," Greg said, shaking his head as the three men ran for the upstairs bathrooms.  "Anything gross in the bathtub and you clean it," he called after them.  Alex waved a hand.  "Dawn's still at the mall.  She'll be back soon."  The boys had already disappeared so they were more concerned about their hygiene at the moment apparently.  He went back into the kitchen.  "The three troubles are here."

"Should we make extra?"

"I seriously doubt Alex is staying for dinner.  Ron might if we let Dawn stay but I doubt he and Draco have had any privacy recently."

"Most likely not," Draco agreed.  "Gregory, do you have anything to dose a cut on Alex's back?  We got hit by a small rock slide earlier thanks to that military group."

"It's in the medicine cabinet in our room," Emilia told him.  "Do you know what it looks like?"

"Of course," he said with a smile.  "We simply ran out."  He went to grab that for his mate, taking it into the bathroom to deal with the scrapes on his back when they got out of the shower.  "Greg thinks we didn't have the privacy to do anything."

"No, I don't care how many people hear me bugger you," Alex said with a leer.

"Shower first, love.  We're both rather nasty," Draco ordered, stepping into the running water.  Alex followed to get clean for him.  It was a sign of true love when one would shower for you instead of with you.

***

Alex appeared back in the house with everyone, including Dawn since she was due back and they hadn't been able to pry Dawn off Ron's lips again.  "We're back, again," he called.

"Good," a voice called.  "Get into the dining room and sit down, Xander."

Xander raised an eyebrow, heading back to the kitchen, looking at the Aunt Cordy looking person.  "Where's the real Aunt Cordy?"  The woman looked stunned.  "She's never called me Xander, she wants to believe that was a hallucination of mine.  She's refused anyone to even call me that among the aunties and cousins.  Now, who are you before I tie you up and send for the Ministry?"

The woman looked too stunned to talk so another of the aunts stepped in. "Alex, that's your aunt Sycanda.  Your mother's other sister."

"Who died in the Amazon looking for people like her," he said.  "She wouldn't know about that life of mine either," he noted dryly, still staring at her.  "Give.  Shift back.  Now, before I start to lose my patience."  He noticed what she had been making.  "Someone call Ginny in to check the unicorns.  She was making their mash."  One of the house elves went to do that, knowing that it was going to get messy in the kitchen.

"Really, Alex, I am who she said I am," she said, frowning at him.

"And I never spent any time in Sunnydale around demons," he said bitterly.  "Change, now.  I can already tell.  Before I call Mom and the Ministry.  Or worse yet, Molly."

"I'm not sure Molly's worse than the Unmentionables," the aunt noted, going back to her part of dinner.  "Are all of you clean, dear?  I made a roast with veggies."

"Yup, we are.  We begged and pleaded at Greg's, then cleaned his bathrooms."  He sniffed at the stove.  "What sort of roast?"

"The one that was in the freezer?" she suggested mildly.

Xander walked over and lifted the lid, then suddenly pulled his wand and cast at the demon, making her shriek and fall back, changing to a smaller, gnome-looking demon with large claws and purple skin.  "No wonder.  Auntie, you didn't taste that, right?"  She shook her head. "Good.  There's only one thing in the world that colors water that shade of blue when cooked and it's a unicorn's blood."  She gasped and turned off the stove, backing away from it.  "Get Sev, he's at Greg's.  Get Ginny to check them.  Get ...."

"I'm here," Severus said as he walked in.  He removed the pot and the others to the back yard to check on them.  He looked up as Ginny and Luna came running through the external floo, Ginny running for the paddock the unicorns had been grazing in and Luna for the house.  "Stay," he ordered Luna.  She gave him an odd look.  "There's a demon in the house.  They've already gotten one."

"Then they're fucking toast," she said firmly, glaring inside the house.  Someone shrieked and the demon came running.  Luna wove a net around it and trapped it, making it gurgle and plead from the pain around it.  "Alex?"

"Coming.  Dawn got her with me," he said, walking out rubbing his upper shoulder.  "The thing's really fast."  He pointed his wand at the demon.  "Wingardium Leviosa," he said, floating her up to attach her to a hook on the outside of the house.  "She can't fly so she's safer there.  Ginny?"

"There's two missing," she called as she jogged back.  "There's signs of a struggle and the baby's really freaked.  One's his mother.  The other's the older stallion.  He may have wandered off, the ladies weren't sure.  He's been showing signs of being forgetful."  She panted as she came to a stop in front of the pot, pulling her wand to test it.  "It's the mother," she said sadly.

"Then let's get the baby up to the school," Severus noted.  "We can bottle feed it there."  She nodded, going to get it.  "Alex, you'll have to test the rest of them I'm afraid," he said sadly.  Killing a unicorn was a horrible and evil thing, but consuming one was worse, on levels of magnitude worse.

"I can do that," Luna admitted.  "Or I and Professor Callahan can," she offered when he stared at her.  "It's not hard to find someone who's been damned."

"Good point," he agreed softly.  "Retrieve him."  She nodded, going to call him from the external floo.  He looked at the house elves. "Have any of you eaten any?"

"One did, she sick, we lock up," one of them said frantically.

"Then we'll take her to St. Mungos, it's the kindest thing we can do," Xander decided with a sigh.  Philip stepped out, wiping the crumbs from his robes.  "Someone put a flank of unicorn in the freezer," he noted.  Philip stopped, gaping at him.  He nodded, looking at his aunts.  "There's two missing from the herd that's gathered."

"There may also be a house elf who's eaten some," Severus noted.

"Then we'll deal with that later," Philip agreed.  He and Luna whispered together then pulled each of the other humans in the house out one by one to check them over.  Only two showed signs of taint and they went to the hospital with the house elf who was trying to rip her own head off, Philip doing the escort duty.

Luna looked at Xander.  "Welcome back, Great One.  How was Tibet?"

"Cold, dirty, and tiring," Draco noted as he came out of the house.  "I searched the freezer, there's some missing.  Ron's calling his mother to make sure they didn't get given any of it."

"Thanks, dear," he said, giving him a hug.  "Philip and Luna only found two with taint."  He looked around.  "Sev?"

"I'll be taking Miss Weasley and the unicorn back.  Maybe you could stay with the twins?"  He shrugged at the hurt look.  "I only have a couch and I have no desire to hear you two go at it."

"Like we'd do that.  We did plenty of that in the cave," Draco assured him.

Ron came back out, his hair already standing on end where he'd been tugging on it again.  "Mum was making one but she hadn't even tasted it.  I called Philip to send him there in case.  Who would do this?"

"Someone who wanted to earn my eternal wrath," Xander said, glaring at the demon.  "I think you should tell us what's going on before we end you horribly.  I don't believe in not torturing demons to get information.  Ask my mother or her boss.  We've met in the past."

The demon shuddered but remained mute.

"Fine, have it your way," Alex said, pulling down the net and taking it off to deal with it.  The garden shed rang with screams but he came back out with a whole demon.  "They're moving on the unicorns again.  It's another demonic movement to remove pure things.  I've already called the other person who got part of the unicorn."  He shook the demon.  "You're going to be in a world of hurt.  Luna, could you please call your Ethan snuggly?" he asked nicely.  She nodded, looking stunned, but did call out for him.  He landed with a shaking of the house.  "Don't destroy it, I don't want to have to build it again, Rayne."  He held out the demon.  "She killed a unicorn with some others and sent the meat out to some people as beef."

Ethan looked stunned, then shuddered, backing away from the smaller demon.  "Who?  Is anyone tainted?"

"She called me Xander, I found her before most of the family was," Xander offered.  "Two aunts and a house elf that we know of."

"Fine," Ethan said, taking the net carefully.  "I'll take her back for divine justice.  Thank you for not destroying her, Alex."

"Some of the others with her nibbled too," Alex assured him.

"Then I'm sure they'll hate her all the more for tainting herself that way."  He took the demon off, kicking it across the audience chamber to get it away from him.  "Lords, she burns," he warned.  "She killed a unicorn with some others and ate it with them, plus handed the meat off to some humans disguised as beef.  Two humans and a house elf were contaminated that Alex knew of."

"Alex?" the High Lord of Hell asked.

"Xander Harris, sire.  His natal name is Alex Dumass."

"Ah.  At least he figured it out.  It would be a shame for him to be down here, damned to watch others suffer."  He looked at the small demon.  "She burns?"  Ethan held up his hand to show the burns on it.  "Very well.  We shall deal with her ourselves.  Take her to the pits," he ordered, opening a portal.  "She'll have to be burned clean first."  The demon started to squeal and scream but she wasn't getting free of the guardians coming to grab her.  "Then clean your hands."  He looked at Ethan, who was already burning his hands clean.  "Good job, sorcerer. You have pleased me."

"Thank you, sire.  I like Alex.  He's fairly decent to my consort."  He bowed.  "If I may, I wish to have horrible nightmares about this."

"Go, rest," he agreed with a small smirk.  Ethan was always good for him. Ethan trudged away, going to his quarters to rest.  "Find the others, I will speak with them," he ordered.  The other guardians of hell ran for the known friends of that demon.

***

Xander walked up to the school, finding Ginny sitting on the front step with the unicorn baby.  "He okay?"  He stopped a few feet away, knowing he would freak the baby out if he got closer.  "Philip said he knew someone who did healing on animals."

"He's fine," she said softly, stroking his back.  "Keelian took one look at him and decided he was a nestmate.  Poor Hagrid won't have a table with them lying on it," she said with a small smile for him.  "How's Dawn?"

"Still tossing fits," he admitted.  "She wants to go to hell to help torture the demons."  He looked over as Dumbledore and McGonagall walked out together.  "I'm checking on him," he said, pointing at the unicorn.  "Dawn'll be back in a bit, once Ron and Molly get her calmed down.  She demanded the right to go hurt people and demons."

"As would I," Ginny agreed lightly.  "If I could convince Ethan to get me there."

"I'm sure Ethan's boss and my mom are going to kill them," Xander said with a mean smirk for her. "The demons hurt one of Mom's aunts.  Her favorite aunt, the one who was her godmother."

"I almost feel sorry for the demons," McGonagall said, moving around the little creature to give him a hug.  "How was Tibet?"

"Cold, dirty, and cold," he said with a grin.  "Everything but two items were there.   They're easily traced.  The thieves left the notes.  Speaking of," he said, pulling something out of his pocket and enlarging it.  "For Madam Pince.  I borrowed it and it's slightly overdue."

McGonagall looked at the inside cover.  "They were checked out when you were a fourth year.  That's not slightly overdue, Alex."

He grinned.  "Yeah, but I put it to good use," he pointed out.  "Besides, did you *really* want that book in this school with the Weasley twins around?" he asked smugly.

She looked at the cover again.  "Arabic tricks, pranks, and evil Gods of the undead?" she read, opening the book.  She stopped at the first page, giving him a horrified look.  "It's how to summon them!"

He nodded, smirking more now.  "Yup, sure is."  He waved at Ginny.  "Yell if you need anything.  I'm not sure if you guys have got formula or not."  He smiled and leaned across the beast to hug her.  "You behave and keep Dawn calm. Or else she'll snark herself into a duel."  He waved and jogged off, heading back to the house now that his naughtiness for the day was done.  "One book left for Lindsey on the personal defense capabilities of the world's oldest pranks, and one book left in the school to make their lives more interesting."  He apparated home, heading into the house, where Philip was reblessing it.  "Hey," he said as he walked around him.  "I just returned a book to the school's library while I was checking on the baby unicorn.  He's fine.  Ginny's got him nearly in her lap and Keelian loves him again."

"Good," Philip said absently, going back to work.   "Your Aunt Martha called out for pizza at Ron's suggestion.  It's in the work house."

"Coolness."  He headed that way, going to get some dinner and do some work.  "Hey, Ron, everyone okay at the house?" he called as he walked in.

"Just fine, Alex.  They all passed their physicals and the house is being fixed and charmed again tonight just in case."  He held up a plate.  "Get me another piece?"

"Ron," Draco sighed, shaking his head.  "Simply go get a box and bring it out here."

Xander got the box and brought it out, grabbing two pieces to hold in his hands.  "There had better be at least three more in there for me," he warned when the boys reached for seconds.  "I returned that library book you found in our library, Draco."

"I'm still wondering why you had a book on how to summon dead Gods who dealt with pranks," he said impatiently.  "You're not like that usually."

He smirked.  "Because sometimes chaos is very sweet to sit back and watch," he said fondly.  "Someone tried to raise Tiamat in my year."  He ate another bite of pizza, then winked at Draco's shocked look.  "Think about how some people would have tried and nearly killed themselves, and been found out," he said wisely.

"Are we talking Tipsy's sister?" Ron asked.  "Or are we talking the dead idiot from last year?"

"Either or both," Draco noted.  "Plus a good many Slytherins.  They might have even worked together to call up something.  Even my father might have worked with someone."

"For that sort of power, probably," Ron agreed.

"Yeah, but it takes *so* much power, not even Dawn could do it," Xander said smugly.  "Thereby letting you know who wants power enough to fuck the world for it."

"Alex!" one of the aunts yelled.  "Language!"

"Sorry," he called back, but he was grinning.  He winked at Draco.  "If your dad had, I wouldn't have you so I guess I can't be that upset with that part at the moment."  He saluted him then took another bite.  "I also left Lindsey a book."

"Oooh," Ron said, shivering.  "Greg will kill you.  He's said she's his adopted one now."

"He's sponsoring her, that makes him a close godfather sort of person," Alex corrected. "The same as your mom sponsored Hermione and Harry."

"No wonder you saw her each year," Draco said dryly, smirking at Ron.  "Get any?"

"Hell no," he snorted.  "I only tried once and she gave me this look like I was beneath a garden gnome."  He ate another bite of pizza, chewing fast.  "The twins saw it and they teased me but they got her a lot."

"Draco, what's left on my to-do list?"

"Do the city's excavation with us," Draco noted.  "Find Potter a real woman instead of one he has to conjure or blow up.  Put Dawn in a chastity belt that can't be removed until New Year's to make sure she can't botch her contraceptive potion again.  Are we encouraging Sev to have children?"

"Sev hates kids," Xander said smugly.  "As for the chastity belt, it's not such a bad idea.  I know how to find a few magical ones that'll never come off, even if you took the skin it was attached to off."  He nibbled thoughtfully.  "I'm guessing we could get that off Gringott's.  It was used on nuns, but still."

"Try it and I will kill you," Ron noted, giving him a fond smile.  "I will turn so dark that everyone will know that the old Dark Lord was nothing compared to what I can do to you. Plus I'll get the women in our lives to help me."

"I knew you had a mean streak, Ron.  It had better never come out around me," Dawn said from the doorway.  "No Ginny or Luna?"

"Ginny's got the baby unicorn all-but in her lap," Xander offered.  "Luna's back at the school too."  He looked back.  "It was suggested that we put you into a chastity belt to make sure you remembered to always do your contraceptive correctly."  He ate another larger piece of pizza.  "Or we're telling Buffy."

"She'll get you, not me," she said smugly.

"Bet me," Xander said with a fond grin.  "She'll get *who* for *you* messing up a potion you're doing at school?  One you make without permission and without someone watching you?"

"Hey, I have Luna help me," she defended.  Ron and Draco both choked at that news.

"Ethan, Luna's been helping Dawn brew batches for both of them," Xander yelled.

"Why can't I go on the pill like normal girls?" she complained.  "The potion's icky."

"Because you'll forget them," Xander said simply.  "You can't remember to use deodorant each day, Dawn.  Would you really remember a pill each and every single day?"  She pouted but shook her head.  "Therefore you shall take the monthly contraceptive potion."

"Monthly?   Nah-uhn.  The recipe we found said to take it once a week," she told him.

"Oh, dear Merlin," Draco whined.  "You're taking a fertility potion once a week for how long?"

"Since school began?" she said, shifting away a bit.  "Ron makes his own."

"No, dear, Ron *buys* his," Ron said simply, giving her a look.

Draco gave him a grin.  "Thank you, Weasley.  It's the smartest thing you've done since getting involved with Alex."  He frowned at Dawn.  "Severus and I will be sitting down with you next weekend to teach you three how to do so properly.  Before one of you is forced to be celebrated as a goddess of fertility."

"My sister doesn't need it," Ron defended.

"I'd rather she knew," Draco retorted.  "Before it's necessary.  Otherwise her first time will soon become your niece or nephew.  She's pent up the energy and it will act on her body at that time, no matter who it's with, and then what'll you do?"

"Kill him," Ron said with a happy grin.  "Then let the twins and Charlie and Bill have him to finish mutilating him."

"Ron, you're a scary man," Dawn advised, reaching over to pat him on the head.  "Ginny is allowed to like boys and to have the sex with them.  It's what girls do.  Or hadn't you noticed that your sister was a very pretty girl who had a few people panting after her?  One of the more decent Slytherins is even begging and pleading to make it so she can't work with unicorns anymore."

Ron looked at Draco.  "Does that mean we get to kill him and then hand him to you and Snape?"

Draco considered it while he nibbled on his crust, then shook his head.  "No, we'd have to hex him first and then send him over to you for you to finish him off.  We'll inflict more emotional and mental damage and trauma, we can't do that if he's already dead."  He looked at Dawn.  "There's no such thing as a Slytherin male who's nice enough to hit on Ginny Weasley and treat her well.  She'd be a conquest.  Especially if it's Spires."  He popped the last bit into his mouth.  "Hurry up and take your three before I eat one of them," he ordered.

Xander snatched his three pieces, the last in the box, and guarded them.  Three barely legal guys ate like they were a whole quidditch team.

Dawn came in and sat across from them.  "Xan, someone mentioned that there's an equivalency exam.  Can I take that?"

He growled.  "There are no GED witches in this family," he said firmly.

"But I want to be around kids my own age," she complained.  "I'm a third year and I should be a sixth year.  I like the girls in my year, but I'd like to be able to relate to the same things that they do instead of being the wiser, older woman.  I had to have The Talk with one of them recently," she whined. "I want to be around kids my own age, like Luna and Ginny.  They said I could take them."

"If you try, I'm going to get Spike to come pounce you," he warned.

Draco coughed.  "Dawn, at your level of teaching your wand would be broken," he said calmly.  "No matter your age, it's the level of experience."

"Remember how hard it was to fit your first one?  Well, you'd be without, young lady," Xander said firmly.

"Excuse him, he's panicking," Ron said with a small shrug.  "I thought about it too, Dawnie.  It's really not that hard to get, but you've got to be a sixth year or higher and you usually can't get much of a job with it.  Not even with Gringott's as a breaker. I asked Bill and he about kicked my ass via letter.  That's what girls who get stuffed-up do so they don't have to go back to school.  It's not what bright witches and wizards do who want a future outside of a play area."

Xander forced himself to be calm.  "Dawn, I know it sucks, but I want you there.  I want you to study under Sev and Flitwick for as long as humanly possible.  Having seen other females in the field, I know what it's like for them.  The ones who come in later, instead of right out of school, have better survival odds.  They also have happier careers because they're not being pushed into things.  Yeah, you've lived on the hellmouth," he said when she opened her mouth.  "But are you prepared to walk into a tomb and be the one who might activate any of the mummies to coming back?  Or even to endanger someone's life by stepping on a part of the floor that looks identical to the rest?"  She slowly shook her head.  "Right now, Flitwick has a lot left to teach you.  In his mind, outside of the classroom, he's got tons he can teach you.  He was one of us when he was younger and he quit because the job got to him; he went theoretical instead and loved it better.  That's beside the fact that I don't want any Willowish 'oops' moments and that I promised your sister that you'd be old enough to traipse around the world with me when you were ready.  You're not.  These two and Harry are still learning charms, stuff that Flitwick could have taught them but he didn't think he needed to."

Draco nodded slowly.  "I learned how to defeat a zombie the other day with only my wand."

She shuddered.  "Ick."

"Well, get used to it.  It's part of the life.  The same as not bathing for long stretches is," Ron advised.  "We were so dirty we were coated," he assured her.  "We got washcloth bathes for the three weeks and four days we were gone.  Greg's showers were so far out of hot water that we didn't mind the cold water.  I wore out my bath brush scrubbing."

Xander nodded.  "I've had whole years like that.  In the desert there's a definite lack of water.  You don't get even that much water a day for bathing.  It's all for drinking.  You scrub off with sand at night."

She shuddered again, curling up in her chair.  "Why would you do it?"

"Because it's necessary," Draco told her.  "Do you know how much stuff he's brought back that's important?"

"More often than not, I bring back dangerous stuff," Xander offered with a grin.  "I seem to be drawn to it."

She nodded slowly.  "All right.  I'll stay and talk to Flitwick if you want, Xander.  But if I get good enough, may I?"

He shook his head.  "Hell no.  I'm giving you extra years of being the prettiest and most popular girl in school before you leave that life for one of two bags of worldly possessions and a lot of grime."  She looked dubious.  "Don't believe me?  You'll be joining us this holiday.  Buffy already knows," he said at her opening mouth.  "She knows we'll reappear for Christmas dinner itself.  Nothing else.  The same as the aunts do."  She nodded once, standing up and taking the box with her.  "Boys, you too."

"Yes, Alex," they agreed, smirking at him.

"Then I suppose I'm going to be going to my mother's this year," Draco said thoughtfully.  "Weasley?"

"Probably the same.  Charlie and Bill will both be up this year so she'll expect it of us."  Xander sighed.  "I'm sure she'll understand."

"No she won't," he scoffed.  "Fine, if we make good progress, you guys can have two days.  How about that?"

"That's fine," Draco agreed calmly.  "Will there be weekends to restock supplies?"

"Maybe once a month," he admitted.  Ron looked stunned.  "Curse breaking isn't like other jobs, guys.  You do it until the job is done and then hope for a vacation or a few days off at least.  I've went two whole years without more than a few hours off.  You keep going until the job is done, not until you're tired.  You spend a lot of hours doing the work, then collapsing to get up and do it again the next day.  There's no days off in the center to celebrate little things.  That's called dinner, which are only routine on holidays.  Your crew needs to have you fully there and ready to break balls, even your own, every single day."

"Alex, quit scaring them," Dawn said from the doorway.  "Bill never said it was that bad."

"Bill's assigned to a desk," Xander corrected.  "He's got a set area and his only job is to find new sites and to map entrances.  Those of us who do the job outside of a steady desk area, like Cairo and Russia, end up doing all the little jobs and end up doing them back-to- back for years at a time.  Bill took over my job because I trained him to.  There were sixty others waiting for that job who had more experience and better ratings at the time.  Guys like Paulo thrive on the hunt and the capture.  Guys like Bill thrive on the knowledge and the pleasure of the skills they use. Guys like Bill out in the field get morbid and quit.  That's why so many women quit after a few years.  That and they hate the potion that takes away their periods because it can start to fuck with their magic."

"There's a potion for that?" Dawn asked.

"Yup, and you're starting on it next month," Xander said firmly.  "That way you're used to it long before we hit the desert. There's almost no water and nowhere to clean up or to store tampons, clean or dirty."

"Hey, won't hear an argument from me," she said quickly.  "I hate the things.  I'll gladly stop them, even if it does block my magic."  He grimaced at her.  "Sorry.  It can't be that bad."

"It can and it is," Xander said.  "Speaking of bad, one of you two is going to have to learn how to cook since I can't and Dawn's going to get teased as being the cook for the group.  The guys are like that."

Ron and Draco stared at each other.  "I think you should," Ron said finally.  "Cooking is like potions with food and we both know I suck at it."

"I'm sure you can learn some simple things so I'm not stuck doing it all the time," Draco agreed.

"Honey, we're talking pit with fire and a pot," Xander reminded him.  "Soups, stews, and bread baked in the ashes.  Even I can take a can of veggies and some jerky, add some water or some stock, and make soup."

"We saw that in Tibet and it didn't taste that great," Ron said dryly.

"Hey, it's what you had.  Just because we're wizards doesn't mean we'll have the energy to pop around for supplies every few days.  Work is hard and tiring.  Especially when you're doing without a full crew or when you're finding a lost one."

Draco nodded.  "That's fine, Alex.  I'll learn how to cook from the aunties and we'll figure out how to make good camps from you and Bill when he's in.  Is he joining us in the desert?"

"Nope.  We're going to be in upper Iran."  They gaped at him.  "We are," he insisted.  "At least it'll be during the winter, but yeah.  Definitely upper Iran.  Then next spring I've got one offered in Kashmir.  That'll be harder.  There'll be more people around and it'll be in a jungle environment."  He looked at them.  "At any time any of you can tell me it's too much and I'll get you to specialize somehow.  You could always work in the main office defeating things or categorizing things.  Or you could learn how to scuba and do underwater stuff.  I don't want to pigeon hole you guys, but I don't want you to come into this thinking that it's all as easy as Tibet was.  I was Bill's *second* teacher.  His first one died right after taking him on during his last solo mission.   Bill was very aware of how bad things could get in the field.  I want the same for you guys."

"We'll deal, Alex," Ron reminded him.  "I'm not some soft society boy and Draco's not as soft as he looks.  Even the nastiest of the nasty can be beaten at times and endured at others.  You're a good teacher."

Xander gave him a long look.  Then he nodded, standing up and heading for his floo.  "Still need me?" he asked their goblin contact.  The goblin nodded, grimacing at him.  "Then Ron and I will go."  He hung up.  "Ron, change.  We're going to find some Lost Ones.  Now.  Pack a single pack, it should only last two days."  He went to his room to grab some clothes from his supplies of clean stuff.   He came out with a pack to be filled from the stores in the closet.  By the time he was done, Ron was back in jeans and his leather jacket.  "Good choices.  Boots?"  Ron lifted a foot.  "Even better.  Pack food and water.  Pack a blanket too if you haven't.  We'll have to camp and we can't put up a tent."  He went to kiss Draco.  "We'll be back in two days."

"Sure," he agreed, cuddling Dawn.  "Be safe."

Xander grinned.  "Me?"  He led Ron into the backyard and took off for the main office with him, going to get the portkey to the nearest location the team had been last known at.   Ron appeared behind him, looking around.  Xander spied the packs in a hollowed-out tree, heading over to look at them.  "Their names aren't marked," he said grimly.  "They're always marked on our packs."

"Why?" Ron asked.

"Because things like this happen," he said gently.  "How else do you know who you're going after?"  He searched their things, coming up with their Gringott's passes, which made him sigh.  "A husband and wife team," he said bitterly.  "I knew them too."  He put everything back and stuffed his pack in there.  "Yours too, Ron.  We won't be able to go in with them.  We'll clear the front of the entryway and then come back for them."  He strode for the entry he could see, letting Ron catch up to him.  He stopped to touch the stones, sensing the energies flowing around him.   Ron mimicked him on the other side.  "Feel that darkness?  They got caught by a trap. You took the anti-poison, right?"  Ron nodded when Xander looked at him.  "Deep breath.  It's not going to be pretty or fun.  You only step where I do, Ron."  He nodded, following his teacher inside.  Xander felt the tripstone under his foot and backed up, then pushed Ron to the floor as the poisoned darts flew over them.  "Damn it, refilling," he complained. "I hate some of the Ancients."  He got up carefully and pulled out his telescoping rod to tap on the floor in front of him.  Something snapped at it from the shadows and he sighed.  "Snakes too.  Right behind me, Ron, only in my footsteps."

Ron nodded, concentrating on what was around them.  "Xan, there's something behind us."

"It's only a trap if we turn around or turn back, Ron.  Ignore it.  It won't eat you yet," he said grimly.  "Six different people have started this cave.  Most of them died in the entry.  These two got farther than the first trap, I'm impressed.  That means we're dealing with experienced breakers."  He got past the snakes slowly and turned sideways to look at the walls nearest him since they were so close.  "These compressed but they're back.  Hurry up, Ron.  The longer we dawdle the longer their family grieves.  Time is of the essence.  What killed them is probably refilling even now and it can get us."  Ron hurried, stepping on the head of one last snake, making Xander sigh and pull him into the narrow passage with him. "Before they attack.  We'll have to get past them on the way out too.  Hopefully they'll eat each other."   He heard a grinding noise. "Run!"  He ran for the end of the corridor, ducking at the last moment, and Ron wisely followed because the swinging blade nearly tore his head down the center and cut into his neck.  A neat 't' shaped design.

***

Ron came back three days later bloody, bruised, and ready to cry.  He went to the training camp and nodded at the guard. "Can I have Harry?" he asked in a calm voice.  The guard gave him a long look.  "I'm Ron.  Really, I am."  He pulled out his passes.  "Please?  Before I start to bawl out here?"  The guard nodded, leading him into a meeting room, then he went to get their seeker from practice.  Ron jumped when Harry came in.  "Harry," he said, starting to sound hysterical.  "It's horrible!  I hate it!  And I know I have to do it!  Oh, Gods, now I know how you felt!"

Harry hugged him, patting him gently on the back.  "Someone has to, Ron.  If not you, it'd be someone with less experience and more chance of getting dead," he said quietly.  "What happened?"

"Snakes and fire and blades and dead people and then the magic had the Lost Ones and we had bring them down before we went back through everything to come back out!"  He started to cry.  "Oh, Merlin, Harry, we had to kill them again, twice on her, because the trap had them as zombies."

Harry sat down, letting Ron curl up on him.  "Shh, it's all right. You survived, Ron.  That's what's important.  You and Uncle Alex survived."

Ron looked up at him.  "He said it wasn't the worst he's seen," he said miserably.  "I know I have to do this.  No one should have to see their kids like that!"

Harry nodded, letting out a sad smile.  "I know, Ron.  Relax, calm down.  You can find Dawnie later and hug her until you're better."  He stroked his back, looking over as Oliver opened the door.  "I'm going to need a few more hours, Ollie.  He just got back from finding some dead Curse Breakers."

"Poor little guy," Oliver said quietly.  "He okay?"

Ron looked at him and shook his head.  "But I have to do the job.  No one else will, not even Bill."

"Then that's the test of strength," Oliver noted.  "Listen to Alex.  He's done that before probably.  I'll tell the coaches you're unable to do anything for two or so hours."  He closed the door, locking it for them.  He looked at Bear and shook his head. "Not right now, big man.  They had to retrieve some who were already dead."  He patted Bear on the arm.  "Where's the coach?"

"Out on the field tapping his foot again."  He shrugged, following him.  "At least Harry knows and understands."

"And now Ron understood what drove him," Oliver agreed in a lighter tone of voice.  "Good thing because I would have broken under the strain."  They walked past their coach. "Ron's nearly in tears.  He had to help retrieve some dead curse breakers."

The coach looked stunned.  "They do?"

"They do," Oliver agreed.  "Someone has to for their families."

"Good point.  I'll leave him alone then.  The kid okay?"

"Ron's nearly in tears," he admitted.  "It's bad."

"That's fine, he doesn't need much practice, the rest of you need to get on his wavelength now and then.  The chasers can do that later.  Go warm up, boys."  They grabbed their brooms and took off to warm up together.  "Merlin, poor Potter.  Maybe he'll stay in the game once he hears."

***

Bill looked up from his reading when Ron came through his floo, giving him a long look.  "What happened?"

He handed over the letter.  "We found the guy you were best man at his wedding for."  He scratched his throat.  "I'm sorry, Bill."

Bill took the letter, frowning at it.  He opened it and read the short notice, then let it fall to the desk.  "How, Ron?"

"Traps.  Alex said that a lot had tried it.  They got past the snakes, the darts, the crushing walls and the blades but the next trap poisoned them with gas and then turned them into zombies."  He hugged his brother.  "I understand now why Alex does it," he said softly.  "I know why you don't."  His big brother looked at him.  "It's necessary, someone has to."  Bill nodded, giving him a longer hug, complete with hard slaps on the back.  "Thanks, Bill."

"Not a problem, Ron.  Be a good curse breaker like Alex is.  You can be one of the best.  If I retire I'll put you in for my spot if you want to slow down.  How is he?"

"He's sulking but he seems normal, just quiet."

"That's his way, Ron.  We each have our own ways of dealing with those things."  He gave him a long look.  "Now you've seen the bad side of it.  You can die."

"I nearly did twice," Ron admitted, rubbing his throat again.  "The swinging blade nearly got me on the way back out and the gas started to affect me as we were...releasing them."

"You killed them, Ron, say the words.  The pretty mock-words that we use don't do anyone any good."

"Fine.  We beheaded them, twice on her.  She got up again because Alex didn't quite make it through her neck the first time."  Bill shuddered.  "Then we got the hell out of there before the poison killed us.  Alex may still be a bit ill from it."

"Now what?"

"Now, I just got done with Harry.  I felt I should come tell you personally that I understand. Alex says you're a knowledge hunter.  I wish I was.  I know I'm not like Paulo."

"No, Ron, you're not.  You're a cross between the two.  Try not to go on any more of those for a few months.  It'll make it easier.  Doing them one right after the other wears you down.  I did that for six months; I retrieved seven Lost Ones to return them to their families.  At the end I broke down in tears on their body and had to be retrieved.  That's why I don't go on them anymore."

Ron swallowed. "I get it, Bill.  Alex is stronger, that's what he does a lot of.  Probably because no one else will."  Bill nodded, being honest with him.  "Then I'll be another one.  Never make me retrieve you."

"The goblins wouldn't let you anyway, Bro.  Never worry about that, Ron."  Ron nodded, giving him another hug.  "This is when you're supposed to cling to your girl."

"She's in Potions.  Snape wouldn't like that."

"Then go sneak into the school and hide in her room," Bill encouraged.  "When are you guys going to the desert?"

"Next month.  We're making our lists now for supplies and what we need to brush up on.  Oh, Alex wanted to know if they ever figured out what made you sick from that translation potion."

"Not a clue," Bill admitted.  "It could have been all the other stuff I'd had to take.  They rushed my training to get me to my first teacher since I came in so high.  I got almost all my potions and shots within a few weeks."

"Good, I'll try to avoid that," Ron agreed, giving him a weak smile.  "It gets easier?"

"Only if you lose your humanity," Bill warned.  Ron nodded, leaving him there.  He went back through the floo.  Bill hung his head, touching the notice.  "Gods, Alex, my brother?" he hissed. "How could you?"  He went to clock out for the day.  He had some time coming and he needed to go to their funeral.  His friends hadn't any family left and he was going to be there for them.  His boss nodded, already having the form filled out for him. "Ron said it's necessary sometimes."

"So did Alex when he was younger," he said calmly.  "So did you after your first one, Weasley.  Not many see the duty as well as the hunt."

"Well, Ron certainly does now," he said bitterly.  "Can I smack Alex around a bit?"

"We had no one else to send and they are his students.  They needed to see that.  Not everything is the hunt and that is the surest way to make them see the worst of the job.  Many don't see that and they burn out or they die from the first trap that defeats their gadgets.  Or their arrogance gets them," he said, tapping a finger on the form in front of him.  "They were in that temple because they were sure Dumass had done it so they could."

"Alex nearly died there!" he complained. "So did I!"  He stopped, then glared at his boss.  "He took Ron into there?"

"There wasn't a choice," he said simply.  "They were Lost.  They were a trap unto themselves.  Alex had to go to save them.  Ron went because Alex couldn't go on this one alone.  He turned it down and then something made him change his mind.  Now your brother understands.  He won't be someone who destroys but someone who moves with and around the Ancients."

Bill slumped.  "I'd still rather have him living."

"I'm sure he will be.  He's been strong so far.  This was probably a horrible thing to have him see, but it made him see.  No more fairytales about the job."

"Yeah, but he's just a little kid."

"As were you and Alex did the same," he said with a small smirk. "Or don't you remember finding things inside a muggle mall?"  Bill shuddered.  "Same thing, different job.  That's what was up at the time. I'm sure he would have liked something more gentle.  Your brother survived and he learned how to trust Alex and to follow orders.  Feel lucky he has such a strong teacher."

"I do, but I still want to punch him in the nose for taking him *there*," Bill said grimly.  "I'll go tonight.  Watch my fish for me."  He walked out, heading back to his apartment to pack a small bag.  He couldn't attend the funeral in jeans and a leather vest.

***

Ron looked at the portrait over Hufflepuff's door, grimacing. "Please let me in?  I *really* need a cuddle badly," he whined.

"I'm sorry.  Only Hufflepuffs and those who know the password," she said primly.  She looked him over.  "I could have sworn you were a Gryffindor."

"Yeah, but I need Dawn to hold me. I just had a horrible job," he said softly.  "Please?  I can unstick the door if you prefer but I need her right now."

She considered it, then opened. "Go inside and up to her room.  I'll let her know you're here."

"Thank you, you're a peach. I promise I won't have sex, just have cuddles."  He jogged up to the girls' dorm, going into her room.  He knew it was her room, she'd told him a few months back.  He laid down on her bed, curling up with her puppy, who was napping with the dragon.  "Hey, guys.  It's me," he said softly.  Midnight nuzzled him for attention and the dragon curled up against his stomach to form a little ball of warmth. "Thanks.  We'll wait for the Dawn together," he said softly.  He didn't want to get caught.  He could go to jail for a month for sneaking into the girls' dorm.  The door opened and he looked over to see Madam Sprout.  "We had to retrieve people who were dead and were being used as a trap," he told her.  "I had to help kill the zombies who used to do my job."

She walked in to give him a hug.  "I'll have her released for a bit, Ron.  You stay here."  She went to find Dawn, finding her in a double Potions lesson. "Professor, a word?" she called softly.  He walked out, closing the door behind himself.  "Weasley is back.  They had to retrieve some who were dead and part of a trap.  May he have Dawn?"

Snape considered it, then nodded.  "Fine.  This time."

"That's all I think he'll need," she assured him, giving him a pat on the arm.  "Thank you.  He looked like he was ready to cry.  Poor thing.  I wonder where they were."  She hurried back to her greenhouses and her potting.  It was time to put the plants into pots for the winter.

Snape walked back into his room and stopped beside Dawn's desk.  "You're wanted back in your common room," he said quietly, making her look up at him.  "Something about someone being ready to cry from the job."

She cleaned up quickly and hurried out, jogging up the halls and the stairs, going into her house without needing the password.  She ran upstairs and found Ron cuddling her dog.  "What happened?"

"We had to retrieve some Lost Ones," Ron told her, lifting an arm.  "They were part of the trap.  They were zombies attacking us so the poison gas could make us like them."  She curled up next to him, holding him tightly.  "Thanks."

"Welcome, Ron.  That's what your girl should do for you.  The job sucks, but no one else would do it."

"I understand Harry now," he admitted.  "So much better."

She shifted so she was curled up behind his back, holding him like he needed to be held.  "Shh, I'm here.  You can tell me all about it."

"If I do, it'll make you dirty."

"It won't, Ron.  Remember, I've seen the worst some demons can do.  I've been in the middle of the worst some demons can do."  He nodded, relaxing under her arms.  She was there for him and that's what he needed.  How had Harry gotten through everything without someone doing this for him?  It should have driven him insane but he still kept going and had happy moments.  She guessed someone did and he didn't admit it, but she would be helping her Ron deal with this horrible thing.  No one should have to deal alone.  She gave him a squeeze, making him go limp.  "Good boy, Ron.  Tell me so I can help you."

He shook his head but let her comfort him. "Not yet."

"Sure.  Whenever you're ready.  I'm uber-support girl."

He smiled slightly at that.  "Yeah, you are," he agreed, patting her on the hand.  "Where's your ring?"

"My bag.  I was in potions and we're doing something corrosive."

"Good."  He took her hand to hold, making himself feel much better now.

***

Greg apparated to the place he had the last time in Chicago, then hailed a cab, getting in clutching the picture.  "27th Precinct please."

"You in trouble?" the cabbie asked.  "There's closer ones."

Greg smiled and shook his head.  "Nope.  I've got a few friends who work there and a friend's kid who's coming to school up here."  The cabbie nodded and took off, heading through the mid-day traffic like it was nothing.  Greg paid him, including a nice tip, and got out so he could head inside.  He walked up the stairs and into the detectives' squad room, pushing open the doors brashly.  Everyone looked up and he grinned.  "Vecchio."

"Sanders?" he asked, looking confused.  "Another problem?"

"Nah, just a cordial visit and a small favor."  He sat down next to his desk, smiling as Stanley came over.  "I've got a friend whose kid is coming up here for her education, my sort of education, and I was wondering if I could refer you or Stan as a decent person to depend on."  He pushed over the picture of Lindsey.  "Her."

"That's Catherine's daughter," Stanley said, grinning at it.  "She is?"  Greg nodded.  "Cool.  I'll be a pseudo-uncle if she needs it."

"Yeah, not a problem.  Just a watch and call if something bad happens?"

"Maybe some checking on her now and then because her mother's got separation anxiety," Greg admitted wryly, smirking at him.  "She's not happy about this in the least."

"Sometimes schools have to be farther away," Stan noted, picking up the picture.  "She looks cute in that robe."

"Doesn't she though?" Greg agreed.  "It's one of Emilia's old ones, but she loaned it out for her first official dinner as one of us so we could celebrate her getting her letter."  He grinned at Vecchio.  "You know how it goes when kids go off to school and leave worrying parents behind."

"Oh, yeah," he agreed, smirking at him.  "Sure, not an issue.  Should we meet her at the train station or something?"

"You know, I don't know how she's supposed to get up here.  I was gonna pop around today and ask."  He grimaced.  "'Mil's over the moon.  'San's on the list of foreign students to go to our school.  So are the new two if they're like us.  She's looking pretty decent, even though her mother caught her with a book Alex left for her," he admitted dryly.  "Pranks and defensive hexes are not something her mother seems to appreciate.  Anyway, I was gonna bring her up this weekend to do her shopping since the day we were up here the shops were closed.  Can I introduce you guys then?"

"Sure," Vecchio agreed with a grin.  "The family's never too big.  We even accept Stan most of the time."

Stanley glared at him.  "Your mother likes me. I give her compliments."

"You mean you suck up," Ray snorted.

"Guys, don't fight in front of me," Greg pleaded.  "It's my day off."  They laughed, shaking their heads.  "Thanks, guys.  I'm gonna go there, then head home and bring her up this weekend, Saturday probably.  That good or don't you guys work weekends?"

"No, I'll be here," Vecchio admitted, waving a hand at his stack of paperwork that never seemed to go away.  "It's like it's a curse."

Stanley looked then nodded. "It is."  He smirked and glanced around, then cast the counter, making the pile look smaller.  "There.  I'll see you guys Saturday sometime in the afternoon.  Have fun."  He waved and walked out, part of his mission accomplished.  He wanted Lindsey to have someone to run to in case something bad happened and those two understood enough to be safe and little enough to not get in her way if she had to act at some later date.   He walked into the bathroom and checked it before apparating to the school's foyer.  "Hey," he said, smiling at the guard who jumped to attention.  "I'm the sponsor of an incoming student and I need to know a few things, like date and travel arrangements."  The guard looked stunned.  "Sorry, I went to Hogwarts and the train was part of the experience."

"No, we pick up children from the airport and the train station," he admitted.  "We let people apparate in that morning only.  Hold on, we've got a letter.  Hasn't she gotten it yet?"

"She did but she was doing something and one of the pages caught on fire," he sighed.  "Without even using her wand.  She was trying to cook," he explained at the horrified look.

"Oh!"  He smiled and nodded.  "Good enough.  Name?"

"Lindsey Willows.  Las Vegas."

He headed into the receptionist's office and had her copy off the letter, bringing it back.  "Here you go.  Her equipment list, her travel date and instructions, and her forms that we need back."

Greg looked at that one and pulled out a pen, filling that one out right then and there.  He held up a key and handed it over. "For her school expenses.  We've done an auto-draw order through the bank."  The guard looked impressed.  "What can I say, I'm an alchemist," he said smugly.

"Wow.  Which one?"

"I'm the Wizard of Blood."

"Wow!" he breathed, looking on in awe.  "I heard about you!  You like her?"

"She's a friend's daughter," he said with a small, smug smirk and a slight shrug. "Lindsey's also a great babysitter for our kid."  He folded the paper up and put it into his pocket.  "Anyway, I just got done finding her a pseudo-uncle or two locally in the police force if she needs help.  I put that on there.  They're the local contacts if you can't reach us."

"Yes, sir," he said respectfully.  "Thank you, sir."

"Welcome.  Thanks for the help.  Can I leave from here?"

"The official port is in the next room," he said, opening the door for him.  "There you go, sir."

"Thanks, man.  Have a nice afternoon."  He apparated back to his house, smiling at Catherine and handing over the letter.  "Stan and Ray both said they'd watch out for her if something happened," he assured her.  "I said I'd be bringing her around Saturday for a few minutes to meet them officially."  She nodded, not looking happy.  "I also filled out the emergency contact sheet for her.  It's got your number first, ours second, and theirs third.  That cool?"

"Very," she said, perking up a bit.  "Now what?"

"Um, shopping's left."  He took the letters back to look it over. "Hey, no fair, they don't have uniforms," he complained.  "Where's the fun in that?"

"Do they at least get robes?" Emilia called.

"Yeah, overrobes instead of dress robes," Greg called back.  "Stan and Ray said hi.  We'll be going back Saturday to introduce her."

"Good."  She came down the stairs with their daughter, who ran over to hug her father.  "See, I told you he'd be back in time for a story.  She's been fussy since you left."

"Did you feel me pop off, sweetness?" he asked with a grin for his daughter.  "That's so brilliant of you!  Good girl!"  She beamed up at him then pulled down one of his hands to chew on his fingers.  "Sure, you gnaw on me for a bit."  He sat down to continue reading.  "Hey, they were serious.  They use computers there."

"Wow.  That's got to be easier than quills any day," Emilia agreed.  "Until I got the spell checking quills, I had to rewrite so many papers it wasn't funny."  She sat down and stole the list.  "What's left on it?"

"Wand.  Trunk.  They're not allowed familiars until their third year."

"That sucks," Catherine said bitterly.  "Why?"

"Probably because they want them mature enough to take care of them without help," Emilia offered absently as she read.  "Either that or they're the sort of people who want the supposed stereotypes to die off."

"Huh?" Catherine asked.

"You know, all witches have black cats?" Greg asked dryly.  "Those sort."

"I thought most of you had cats," Catherine admitted.  "I've seen cats at Tip Top's house."

"They had a garden cat follow them home one night," Emilia said, looking up.  "Are you *sure* you want her to go there, Catherine?"  Catherine nodded.  "They don't even need potion ingredients."

"Maybe they supply them," Greg said with a mild shrug.  "The guard knew who I was, he looked stunned when I told him I was the Wizard of Blood."

"Hmm."  Emilia nodded.  "Fine.  I'll still be popping around with her mother now and then to check up on the poor thing.   I know Salem still teaches potions."

"Salem was full of elitist snobs," Catherine said bitterly.  "New York was like an airhead's convention."

"That's the beauty of the system we were in," Emilia noted.  "It was standardized.  Everyone had to meet up to certain standards and everyone had to learn everything.  Even if you sucked in something, you still learned *something* from the experience of five years of the class.  I even learned some from Divination."

"I did that one on my own," Greg reminded her dryly, smirking at her.  "So, 'San is going to Hogwarts even if we have to move, right?"  Emilia nodded quickly.  "Good.  These two too."  He looked at Catherine.  "If something bad happens, we'll sponsor her over there too," he promised with a light grin.  She pinched him so his daughter swatted her with a fierce scowl.  "You show her, 'San," he agreed, hugging her gently.

"England and Scotland are *way* too far away," Catherine complained.

"Yeah, but that's only if something bad happens," Emilia offered gently, giving her a hug.  "You'll get through this.  By next month, you'll be happy that you don't have to drive her to school or worry about her."

"Bet me," she snorted.  "I'm going to be worrying more.  Chicago's a dangerous city.  It's nothing like Las Vegas.  They have worse crime out there."

"Not really," Greg reminded her. "Besides, she'll have two very good detectives looking over her shoulder and Ray probably will try to invite her over to dinner at least once a month to check on her. You can call her all the time.  It's not like Hogwarts, where there's no phones.  Did the letter say she could have a cell?"  Emilia nodded.  "Then we can do a prepaid one for her so she can call you each weekend," he soothed, patting her gently.  Cassandra patted her too, making cooing noises.  "That's a good girl, 'San. You help keep the auntie calm."

"Plus, you can help us spoil ours," Emilia offered with a bright grin.  Catherine frowned at her but she eventually smiled.  "See?  It'll be fine."  She gave her a hug, then groaned and held her stomach.  "Fine, guys, I won't hug others."

"It's okay, they'll learn to love hugs too," Greg promised.  "Even if we have to force the first few on them, they'll learn to love them.  They'll be cuddly little guys who love everybody."

"You want to turn our kids into Hufflepuffs?" Emilia asked, looking stunned.  "Really?"

"Well, no," he admitted.  "Just nice, sweet, good boys that girls'll go gushy over," he admitted with a sheepish grin.  "Like Blair, only without the wild hair and the women stalking him."

"Speaking of, what is wrong with Sandburg?" Catherine asked.

Emilia and Greg shared a look and Greg got up to get her the reference work she would need.  "Here.  I think you'll understand," he offered as he sat down again.

She checked the title, then opened it and started to read from the marked spot.  She stopped after a paragraph and looked at him.  "He's a what?"

"Jim's a what, he's a Guide," Emilia told her simply.  Catherine looked stunned and let the book drop.  "Then Jim got married and his wife took over those duties."

"Usually Guides in the wild would go insane faster," Greg agreed.   "They'd do things like jump off really high trees or wander into the jungle to be eaten."  Catherine shuddered. "So we're maintaining Blair's sanity for him at the moment.  This is not something to spread around however."

"Not a problem.  It's not like I can believe in that sort of stuff.  Magic yes, that no."  She picked the book up and put it onto the counter behind her.  "Now what?"

"Now, we plan on how to get Lindsey shopping and not take 'San," Emilia said dryly.  "She already loves to shop.  You know, they don't even need formal robes?  Nothing close to formal gear."

Greg frowned.  "We didn't need any until our fourth year."

"They're totally forbidden to bring any jewelry, any high heels, and anything that is deemed to be thought of as 'cute'," Emilia offered.  "They're also apparently doing their own wash since the list said to bring laundry money."

"I'm really not liking the sound of this," Greg offered.  "It seemed much nicer than that when we visited.  That sounds like some scuzzy dorm."  Emilia gave him a look then glanced at Catherine.  "Then again, maybe we should ask Teller.  He went to Chicago a long time ago.  Maybe it's not what it seems."  He shrugged.  "He's included in our area as someone to talk to for guidance."

"Maybe," Catherine sighed.  "She has to do her own laundry?"  Emilia nodded.  "Why?"

"Because apparently they don't have house elves," she said with a shrug.  "Seems odd to me, but then again we were spoiled at Hogwarts."

"The new kids have it better, they've got a reliable heating system," Greg quipped.

"Finally," Emilia agreed.   "Still won't keep Divinations from being chilly though.  You know how she is about freely moving cold air."

"Yeah, but one of these days she'll get sick too," Greg said happily.  "Or some kid will get really sick and their parents will ream the school good."

Catherine snorted.  "Wonderful.  Where was that classroom?"

"One of the towers at the top," Greg offered.  "She likes to keep a window open up there so the spirits can come in and chat with her."  He looked down at his daughter, who was napping.  "That was fast, not even a story needed."

"Indeed," Emilia agreed.  "Put her on the couch, Greg."  He slowly got up and carried her in there, putting her down on a comfy sleeping spot for her nap.  "Thanks.  Hug?"  He hugged her gently, stroking her back when the babies kicked.  "I don't know why they don't like hugs, but it's not making me happy."

"I'm sure they'll be fine," Greg promised.  "They'll have to stop it soon, or else they'll be born."  He kissed her on the forehead.  "Hungry?"

"Nope."

"Thirsty?"

"Nope."  She grinned at him.  "And not cuddlesome either."

"Shoot," he sighed, sitting back down.   He got up and went to get the shopping guide they had picked up during their tour of the Chicago school system.   "Hmm.  Wands are way out in the middle of nowhere and it's marked as a non-apparating zone," he complained.  He looked at Emilia.  "Non-portkeying too."

"That's why there's always Olivander's," Emilia quipped.  "Wanna come, Catherine?"

"Not tonight, guys, I want to have a girl's night with the daughter."  She stood up and stretched.  "I'll leave you guys alone and go pick her up.  Greg, don't make the baby kick her.  She'll get upset with you again."  She hugged them both then left before Emilia got kicked harder.  "I don't want her going over there," she complained to herself. "England is too far away."

Greg shifted stools to hold his wife.  "Diagon?"

"When we take Lindsey," she reminded him.  "I don't need anything."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "We need to ask Teller if it's that scummy or not.  The dorms looked clean."

Greg grabbed the phone behind her and dialed the resort where they worked, leaving a message on the voice mail.  Then he hung up and nuzzled her neck.  "Are you sure you're not hungry, thirsty, or cuddlesome?" he pleaded.  He loved to please her.

She winced as the babies kicked, but his hand calmed them down immediately.  "Thanks, babe."  She kissed him properly, making them settle down completely.  "But you know how much sex irritates them.  All that moving around bothers their tiny little tummies."

"'San was an easy baby to have compared to these two," he complained. "She always wanted to be cuddled and touched."

"Soon, Greg.  Very soon, I promise."  She nuzzled him and then winced again, holding her stomach.  "Would you two or three mind not doing that?  I need cuddles."

Greg bent down to kiss her stomach. "Guys, upsetting both parents is a bad thing. Learn that soon, huh?"

***

Inside the watery sack, the twins looked at each other then at the one that never answered them.  "Is that you or me this time?" the first one asked.

"Me I think," the second one answered.  "Why does he keep showing up?  He never wants to play or talk."

"I don't know," the first admitted.  "Maybe the people who keep talking will know."  They looked at the illusion again then curled up next to each other.  It was extremely hard when they were being squeezed, but they didn't care.  They wanted a cuddle.

***

Greg pulled Lindsey into the shopping area and looked around.  "Okay, we've almost got everything for you.  All that's left is your trunk, your wand, and your stone set."  He grinned at her.  "And a broom if you're allowed.  There's not much quidditch played on this side of the pond, but I know Salem still has house teams."  One of the nearby parents gave him an odd look.  "I trained at Hogwarts."  She snorted and walked off with her nose in the air.  "Ah, another fine Salem graduate," he said dryly, leading his charge onward.  "Trunks first.  Alex really splurged on Dawn's, but we should be able to find you something decent to hold everything without being *too* unsafe."  Lindsey gave him an odd look.  "A bottomless trunk has the danger of trapping someone who's pushed into it," he said wisely.  "We got Lucius that way once.  He ended up pissing on all his clothes before anyone thought to look inside for him."  She snickered.  "Seriously. The idiot had just ruined about a year's worth of work on my mastery.  'Mil and I shoved him into his trunk and locked him in there."  He opened a door and let her go inside first.  They both smiled at the shopkeeper.  "Trunks?"

"In the back," he offered, pointing down an aisle.  "For school?"  Lindsey nodded.  "We usually suggest suitcases these days."

"I'd rather she had a footlocker," Greg offered.  "They lock."  The shopkeeper smiled at him as they went back to look at the various trunks.  "These are what we carry over there," he admitted, touching one. "They're nice and usually roomy enough.  Then again, you've got enough stuff to need two."  He looked at the smaller footlockers.  "Here's one," he said finally, pulling one down that had wheels.  "How's that?  Portable with a lot of storage room."

She opened it to look inside, then nodded and closed it, thumping on it.  "Is it pressboard?"

"We can cover the insides again if you want, or even more handily, line it with fabric and enchant it slightly."  She beamed at him.  "Plus, hey, wheels," he offered again.  "Stairs and trains and things won't be too big of a problem."

"Then I like that one," she agreed happily, taking it up to the counter.  She stopped to look at the old-fashioned carpet bags.  "How did people only have one of these in the old days and store everything in it?"

"Because back then, you had about three or four outfits," he noted, leading her on.  "You mixed and matched and you did about the same amount of wash."  She shuddered.  "Exactly.  You know, Dawn's going to have a problem with that too.  Being a curse breaker isn't going to be fun for her first year.  She'll be without a lot of bathing facilities, without most of her wardrobe, and taking some magic blocking potions."

"Eww.  Why?"

"No running water for those inconvenient times of the month," he said dryly.   She shuddered again.  "Exactly. That's why there's a potion for that."

"You still use the potion?" the shopkeeper asked.  "There's all sorts of alternatives to it in the muggle world."

"They can block magic too," Greg pointed out.  "Plus, a hormonally charged curse breaker is one who's careless and tends to die quicker," he offered.  "We want Dawnie to live for a long time.  Her sister might have to have her resurrected if she didn't."

"Do you think Buffy ever feels odd about that?" Lindsey asked.

"Probably.  I would.  Especially with how Willow did it," he agreed.  He shrugged.  "You could probably ask her sometime.  I'm sure you'll have to do a paper sometime on someone semi-famous and she'd probably fit."

"Maybe," she agreed, smiling again.  "Now where?"

"Wands."

"How are we getting there?"

"Well, first of all, I'm going to shrink the trunk once I pay for it," he said, handing over his credit card.  For some reason, everyone around here took them.  Maybe it was because this was an American spot.  But LA's didn't and neither did New York's shops.  He guessed it was just Chicago's thing.  "Then we'll cab to the 27th so I can introduce you to your pseudo-uncles while you're in town.  Then we'll cab to the wand shop."  He signed the slip and took his card back, doing as promised by shrinking the trunk.  "I'll show you that one so you can do it before you leave."

"Sure thing, Greg.  Thanks."  She gave him a hug.  "I know Mom'll help you when 'San goes off to Hogwarts."

"Hopefully," he sighed. "I may have to pop back to get some comfort.  It's going to be a hard thing to let my little snookums go."  He led the way out, heading for the entrance to the small mall-like area.  "Okay, cab," he said, summoning one with his wand, which was barely poking out of his sleeve.  "Another handy charm," he said with a wink before opening the back door and letting her in first.  "27th Precinct please."

"You in trouble?"

"No, just visiting some friends," he said with a mild grin.

"Sure thing," the cabbie agreed, speeding off.

"Greg, how am I getting to school?"

"Up to you, Linds.  Do you want to fly fast, fly normal, or train it?"

"Going fast would probably be better for mom's mental health."

"Yeah, but she'd try to cling."

"Maybe, but I'm sure Emilia and Grissom could pry her off," she offered.  "Besides, I like that form of travel."

"Cool.  As soon as you're old enough, I'll teach you," he said with a wink.  They pulled up outside the precinct and he paid the cabbie before leading her out and upstairs.  "Ah, two Rays in a row," he said happily.

Vecchio snorted, still typing.  "I hate reports."

"Of course you do," Lindsey agreed. "You're about a decade behind most departments by not using a computer."  Both Rays grinned at her.  "Hi.  I'm Lindsey."

"Hey," Stanley said, waving at her.  "How's your mom?"

"Which one are you?" she asked.

"Stan or Ray Kowalski, depending on who you talk to," he said with a bright grin.

"Oh, *you're* Stan.  Did you know Sarah's afraid of you?"

He smirked and nodded.  "Oh, yeah," he promised happily, making her giggle.  "So, you're off to shop some more, kid?"

"Just one more thing," she sighed, sitting down between them.  "That last little item that I *have* to have."  She looked at Ray. "So you're Vecchio?" He nodded, smirking at her.  "Mom said you were a decent guy with sucky luck at the tables."

He nodded again.  "Yeah, that about describes it," he agreed happily.  "Greg, sit."

"Sure."  He pulled a chair over and sat.  "No one else is even on call?"

Stan snorted. "Hell no.  They'd never give us that much help," he said bitterly.  "Never become a cop.  It's tiring."

"I had a neighbor call me out of bed this morning at four to arrest her husband, who was molesting their little girl," Ray Vecchio reminded him.  "Didn't even think to call an ambulance, nothing.  Just called me, the friendly cop neighbor."

"Wow," Lindsey said.  "You guys get that?"

"Yup.  The same as I do for the other wizards who need potion stuff," Greg said with a small shrug. "What did the Great One say about the dorms?"

"That by May they're scuzzy and nasty, to never leave my wash alone, and to stock up on treats because getting out of there is few and far between."

"Make friends in the upper years, they usually have more freedom."  She shook her head.  "No?"

"Nope.  He said he got out about once a semester.  That's all they were allowed."

"That sucks," Stan offered.  "You could call and we'll spring you for a night of pizza and soda."

"That's something I make take you up on," she agreed happily.  "Especially if it gets to be too bad.  He said that a few of the dorms were known for dirty tricks."

"Honey, you've got three prank masters at your disposal for advice," Greg gently reminded her.  "I'm betting that the twins and Tipsy would *love* to help you get back at any idiots who try you."

"If not, Alex seemed like he'd be one to help," Stan offered.  "Not to mention Ron and Dawn."

Greg nodded, looking a bit smug.  "Oh, yeah.  They'd help.  A full breaker, two of his apprentices, and three people who run a joke shop would definitely help."  Lindsey let out a giggle, but yawned in the middle of it.  "Didn't get to sleep last night?"

"I was going over Ron's first year charms book.  It's got some neat stuff in there."

"It does," Greg agreed.  "Very useful too."  He patted her on the back of the head.  "Well, we've got one more stop before we can go home and I'm only hoping he's open at all.  He was behind in his creation."  He stood up.  "Say bye and we'll head to get your wand."

"Bye, guys, and thanks for agreeing to look out for me.  I'm sure my mom'll call in the middle of the night to have you check on me."  She hugged them and followed Greg out.  "Do you think I'll get one I like?"

"I don't know how this guy is.  I know Ollivander prides himself on beauty as well as function."  He got them a cab and gave the address, getting a funny look.  "It does exist."

"It burned the other day," he told him, turning to look at them.  "You sure you want to go there?"

"Shit.  No, then we're done for the moment.  Can you take us to the mall?"  The cabbie nodded and Greg leaned down.  "Don't worry, not an issue," he whispered. "Ollivander is open."  She nodded, taking his hand to soothe herself.  He paid their fare and led her inside, taking her to one of the bathroom areas and disapparating with her.  No one was around so he was safe.  They landed in Diagon and he gave her a moment to wheeze and catch her breath.  "You good?"  She nodded, following him, patting his pocket. "It's still there," he said, grinning at her.  "I promise, you won't be without anything you need."  He pushed open the door.  "In."  She walked in, looking around in awe.  Ollivander came out from between the shelves.  "She's starting in Chicago, Mr. Ollivander, but the cabbie said the address of the wandmaker over there burned.  I didn't want to chance it."

"That's fine," he agreed happily, looking at the new student.  "They do start later over there?"  She nodded.  "That's wonderful."  He pulled out his tapemeasure and started it running.  "Do you know her areas, Gregory?"

"It looks to be technical.  Transfiguration probably, with some charms and potions added if they teach them there."  Ollivander gave him a look.  "They don't make them buy herbs or potions supplies."

"Odd," he agreed.  "What about books?"

"No, those I got a ton of," Lindsey said, watching the tape measure work.  "Is this really necessary?"

Ollivander laughed and took it back, going into the back to find a few he thought might suit her.  "Here, try this one," he offered, opening a box and handing over the small wand.  "Swish it, dear," he instructed.  She swished it and nothing happened.  "Hmm.  Interesting."   He reached behind him and pulled down another, handing it over.  It was rough, but it created a cascade of sparks, just not in harmony.  "Ah, that's why."  He went to look for a few more of them.  "It appears that she's got some specific talents, Gregory.  You'll want to watch her."  He came back with a box and handed it over.  "Try that one, dear.  Ash and veela's hair, nine inches, very flexible for charms work."  She swished it and a beautiful cascade of fireworks went off.  He sighed.  "Not quite.  I had such high hopes for that one."  He took it back and went to find another one, coming back with an even happier smile. "This one nearly jumped off the shelf.  Ash and unicorn bone."  She took it delicately and swished it, earning the beautiful blue sparks this time. "Wonderful.  Not very delicate, but not the most sturdy.  Definitely not for someone who deals with creatures or heavily with potions ingredients."  He handed her the box.  "Take good care of it.  Polish it weekly to keep the wood healthy, it's from a burned out area.  The last surviving tree."  She looked impressed.  "Seven, Gregory."  He counted out the galleons and handed them over.  "Polish is by the door.  Grab a bottle for her."  He nodded, walking Lindsey out with her new wand and the bottle of polish.  "Dear, she'll be back," he said, watching Greg as he walked.  "That one is quite specific about its owner.  The unicorn was a fussy herd stallion."  He cleaned up the small mess and put the others back.  That had been one of the easiest fits this year.

***

Greg walked Lindsey back into the house. "Sorry, Catherine, but the wand guy in Chicago apparently got burned out," he said bitterly.  "Ollivander only had to try three out on her though."

Lindsey pulled her wand, showing it off proudly.  "What do you think, Mom?"

"I think it's very pretty," she admitted, hugging her. "Any special care instructions?"

"He said I had to be careful because it was a bit delicate and that I had to polish it now and then," she reported.  "I got a bottle of polish too."  She pulled back to look at her mother. "He said it was the last tree standing after a forest fire."

"Wow."

"What's the core?" Emilia asked.

"Unicorn bones," she said, letting her see it.  "Ash and unicorn bones."

"Hmm, flexible, swishy, not a wand for someone with grandiose gestures," Emilia noted, handing it back carefully.  "So I'm guessing you're going to be a lesser swishy one."

"Let's see," Greg offered, pulling his wand.  "Do this, Linds."  He did the classic swish and flick.  "Wingardium Leviosa."

She followed the movement.  "Wingardium Leviosa," she repeated.  The bar stool in front of her moved and floated slightly, making her squeak and break her concentration, which let the stool fall.  "Wow!  I did magic!"

Greg gave her a hug. "It's always a great feeling the first time," he shared, winking at Catherine before handing her over for a hug.

"You sure did, baby.  You did magic," Catherine agreed. "You did it very well."  She looked at Greg.  "Is that everything?"

"But packing her up."  He pulled out the trunk and resized it, letting her get a good look at it.  "It's got wheels too," he offered proudly.  "It'll fit everything but a broom, but we don't know if she can have one or not anyway."  Emilia shook her head. "No?" he asked, starting to frown.  "Just as a first year?"  Emilia shook her head again.  "Why not!  They're a vital part of our world!"

"They actually have driver's ed," she said grimly.  "They don't teach flying at all."

"That's fine, we'll teach her on her downtime," Greg said firmly.  "Potions too if I have to."

"They teach modern medicine," Catherine told him.

"Which is great and all, but that doesn't cure some things, like the after-effects of a hex."

"They're not allowed to do that stuff to each other," Emilia said dryly.

"Neither were we, but look how many we got fired at us on a daily basis," he snorted, crossing his arms.  "Catherine, if something that wrong happens, I'm going to beg the Headmaster to take her or get her into the land of happy people in Cali.  Agreeable?"  Catherine frowned at him.  "Quality education."

"She'll be years behind."

Greg smirked.  "You think?  With all of us working with her for the rest of the year?  Emilia's on house restriction.   Xander's going to be frustrated soon because his apprentices are getting the harder lessons and they're not going to love it like he does."

"Ron found a calling," Emilia offered as she came over to kiss him on the cheek.  "Calm down. It's not that bad, Greg."  He gave her a long look.  "Besides, maybe Mortimer will go with her," she offered with a grin.  He hugged her, letting the twins, or whatever, kick them both.  "Cat, we'll handle it, but if someone touches her that school is going to go down."  Catherine nodded and hugged her own daughter. "It'll be fine.  It's not an inner city high school."

"No, it's not.  It's got a bunch of egotistical brats with powers," she said bitterly.

"Yeah, but I'll be one of them, mom," Lindsey said.  "Not that much of an outsider.  Plus, I know some pretty cool people, like Dawn. That'll score me some popularity points, especially since her last letter said there was a picture of us together in Witch World Weekly."

"Fine," she sighed.  "You're sure you want to go?"

"If she doesn't, then she'll be blocked from ever using it and it'll lead to things like a weakened immune system, suicide, and possibly cancer."  Catherine gave him a long look and he gave a slight shrug.  "The kids who've had theirs blocked tend to get it more often, we don't know why.  There's no direct causal link that we can find."

"Fine," she said sadly.  "I will be called each and every Saturday night or Sunday afternoon, Lindsey.  Even if you've got a stack of homework as high as Hogwarts."

"Yes, mom," she said dutifully, though inside she was dancing around in joy.  She was going to be going far, far away from her mother for most of the year!  Yes!  Greg gave her a look and she smiled at him.  "Can you teach me more so I don't go in behind everyone else, Greg?"

"Sure," he agreed happily.  "Grab your books and come with me to the backyard.  It's easier around water for some people."  She did that, grabbing the books she had been covertly practicing from since she had gotten them.  Ron had even marked the ones she should study first, just in case.  That lock opening spell seemed pretty neat.

***

Lindsey landed with George's hands on her shoulders and her trunk at her feet.  Unfortunately there had been a massive case of missing people and Greg and her mom were on call.  She looked up and grinned bravely, not so sure now.  "We're here?"

"We're here, Lindsey," he agreed, giving her a gentle hug.  "Now, remember, I added those two books on pranks and the treats into the *left* side of your trunk and Fred did the *right* so tell us how they work," he said with a grin.  He looked up as the guard came closer, smirking at him.  "I'm dropping her off for her guardian, her mother, and a few other worry warts," he said calmly.  "This is Lindsey Willows."

"Yes, sir, right this way if you wouldn't mind," the guard said, watching as Lindsey picked up the handle of her trunk and followed him.  "Is her laptop in there?"

"It's in my backpack," she said, turning to show it off.  "That way I can get my books to class with me without having to float them down the halls or carry them and hurt myself."

The guard nodded.  "That's sensible."  He opened a door.  "Headmistress, Lindsey Willows has arrived."

"Send her in."  She smiled at the young lady and the man behind her.  "You don't look like one of the people who came with her.  Her father perhaps?" she asked, holding out her hand.

"No, just temporary guardian.  Her sponsor and her mother got called out on a multiple missing persons case.  They're scene techs with the Las Vegas Crime Lab."  The woman looked stunned.  "I'm George Weasley."  She paled and his smirk picked up.  "This is Lindsey.  Greg's like a big brother to us so I volunteered.  It's getting me away from the shop and a vexing issue with an illusion prank."

"I still say you should let it form whichever family member you want, unless it's to specifically scare someone," Lindsey offered.

He nodded.  "I probably should, but I want to scare Ron with an image of Percy," he said smugly.  "That'll keep him from shagging Dawn into the carpet again this month."

"Maybe an hour," Lindsey advised, giving him a pat on the arm.  "He likes her a bit too much at the moment.  Fortunately she said that Draco and Professor Snape fixed her contraceptive potion errors so she's not going to have any more troubles, while Ron still buys his," she finished happily.

"Good," he agreed.  "Those kids will be worse than ours."  He smiled at the stunned looking woman again.  "Sorry, are we that odd?"

"No."  She blinked a few times.  "Thank you for dropping her off.  If I may ask, why didn't she go with your kind of wizard if you're such good friends?"

"Because my mother about threw a hissy with me going *this* far," Lindsey said dryly.  "She's a bit protective since she deals with criminals all day."  She dropped her trunk.  "Is something wrong with my paperwork?"

"No, dear, we were going to do your placement exams."

"Go ahead, I'm sure Greg will want to be able to tell her mother how high she placed," George agreed, waving a hand as he sat down.  "We've been working on her Potions, Charms, and Transfiguration work.  Her defense is still a bit shaky, though she's been doing wonderfully with the theory at least."

The Headmistress nodded once then held out a wand. "Here, use this."

"I've got mine," she said, pulling it out of her sleeve, like Greg had shown her.  "Ash and unicorn bones."  The headmistress nodded.  "I'm about two chapters into Charms and Transfiguration.  They seem really neat.  Potions is okay, I'm decent enough in science, but I'm better in those two.  Do I have to take Herbology though?  Greg wasn't sure if you taught that or Potions here."

"We do not teach potions.  We feel that they're the old ways," she instructed.

"Hmm, then I'm guessing he's going to be going into teaching overdrive this summer," she said dryly.  George nodded, smirking at her.  "Fine, and if I can I'll come help you guys."

"Sure, Lindsey.  Remember, at that same time he's going to be teaching Cassandra how to do potions too.  He's a master after all, his kids are going to be good at it."

"We hope," she reminded him.  "They may not like it.  'San likes to go into the lab with him and help him stir, but that doesn't mean she won't be miserable."

"True," he agreed.  "Turn about."  She did so.  "Where should she start?"

"Let's start with something easy.  Floating."  Lindsey cast the charm perfectly, levitating her trunk.  "Well."  She smiled.  "Now, let's move onto the second year things.  How about a folding charm?"  She gave her a look and took off her jacket, doing that.  "Very good."

"That's actually in the first year books of ours," George told her.  He pulled out a copy of his textbook and handed it over.  "Here, compare away," he offered happily.

She looked through it, then at Lindsey.  "Well, that means you'll be short a few of the first year charms.  Locks and things you know."

"I know the basic 'alohamora'," she offered.  "Greg made sure since I lost the keys to my trunk once already."

"Excellent.  Only that one?"  She nodded. "Very well.  I'm going to start you in the second level of the first year courses for charms.  Now, about transfiguration.  We mostly study the theory behind it but you will get some hands-on practice.  We mostly do the inanimate.  The animate transformations are usually considered higher, senior studies."

"Shoot.  You mean I'm going to be stuck turning pine needles into sewing needles?"  The Headmistress gave her an odd look.  "It's all Greg could find other than hair and I did that well enough.  I'm also usually okay to change color and form; our family's toaster is now purple marble but it works just as well."

"Then I think we can probably move you into the advanced lessons there as well," the Headmistress said firmly, moving on.  "Computers?"

"I was in Las Vegas' main school system," Lindsey told her simply.   All schools these days had computers and computer requirements.

"Fine.  What about your research classes?"

"Not my most favorite thing," Lindsey admitted, "but I've had to do some papers in classes before."

"Fine.  Good in fact."  She smiled.  "Now, about your electives.  Arithmancy, Runes, and Languages?"

"I'm good in languages and literature classes.  Greg said Runes is helpful because some of the better research materials are in other languages.  Arithmancy was basically algebra the way he described it and I was in that class last year."

"Fine," she agreed happily.  "We teach normal math and science here though.  The only languages we offer are Spanish and French."

George snorted. "Yet she's supposed to do research in books that are written in Latin?  Lindsey, don't worry, we'll teach you a neat translating charm during the holidays, baby girl.  Even Alex has to use it now and then and he's got a pretty good grasp on the basics of a few languages, like Thinial and Latin."

"Who?" the Headmistress asked.

"Alex Dumass.  Another friend of her sponsor's," he said with a grin.  "Great guy, very nice, even though I am going to kill him for making Ron help him retrieve a few dead curse breakers.  It was too hard for his experience level," he said when Lindsey looked at him.

"Alex was showing him the worst it could become," she pointed.  "Ron was thinking it was all fun and games, and it broke Dawn's ideas about it all being fun and games.  They understand it more now, George."

"Yeah, but Ron broke down.  I don't like that method of training."

"Look at what he'd been doing," she protested.  "He thought it was all easy and nifty fun.  It's not.  It's a hard job and he'd have to learn that sometime or else he might die on the job.  Xander's making sure he survives and carries on the legacy of the curse breaking tradition."

"Point," he agreed, still smiling, "but he still made my baby brother cry."

She rolled her eyes.  "Then make the poor guy babysit your twins, George.  They're punishment enough since he hates kids."

"Good idea," he agreed happily, reaching over to pat her on the back.  "You'll be wonderful at our job if you wanted to learn it, Lindsey."

"Mom would die," she reminded him patiently.  He shrugged.  "Good point," she agreed happily.  She looked at the Headmistress again.  "Why is it that over at Hogwarts they get specific classes in magical history and we don't?"

"Because the United States doesn't have that much magical history," the Headmistress told her.

"So, no wizard battles during the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, or any other war?"  She slowly shook her head.  "Huh.  I think Alex owes me a galleon then," she said smugly.  "He said there had to have been."

"The only way to find out is finding a book to prove it one way or another," George reminded her.  "Hence the language lessons you'll be getting."  He stood up.  "So, she's in the advanced classes all the way around?"

"Why wasn't she sent to Salem?"

"Because her mother didn't want her around the elitist snobs," George said plainly.  "Greg offered to sponsor her into Hogwarts but her mother about needed drugs and therapy for that idea."  He gave her a hug.  "Now, remember to call your mom and one of the Rays weekly to check in.  Write emails too for those who have them and I'll get Philip to write down the language spells for you.  Maybe he'll even send you a beginning book of Latin or something."  He patted her on the head.  "You behave and make a lot of friends.  Oh, Harry said he'd be over here for some sort of convention in a few months and he'd take you to lunch then if possible so you behave.  No losing lots of house points or getting detentions."  He gave her a hug.  "Ready?"  She nodded so he left, apparating off from that spot.

"Okay," she sighed, turning to look at her Headmistress again.  "Dorm assignment so I can stuff myself in my corner of the dorm?"

"You have your own room, we do it that way instead of a single room for each year," she said quietly, handing over a paper.  "You're in Group A.  I'll expect great things from you, Lindsey.  Don't disappoint me."

"I'm here to learn the things I need to so I have control and conscious decision making over my powers," she said.  "And possibly to find a good job when I'm older.  The only person I'm looking forward to pleasing is myself."  The Headmistress nodded.  "Thank you.  Robes at dinner?"

"Some children do, some don't," she admitted.  "Most of the muggle borns don't.  You may if you want but it may set the wrong tone for the others."

She snorted.  "They either like me or don't," she pointed out, taking her trunk with her when she walked out.  She smiled at the guard.  "Hi again.  Group A?"  He pointed up the staircase.  "Thanks.  See you later."  She drug her trunk up and found her room, it had her name on it.  She walked in, looking at the painted cement walls and the bed in the corner.  Across from it was her wardrobe and dresser plus her desk.  She dropped her trunk and took off her backpack, getting ready to move furniture.   This needed some help.  Fortunately Teller had told her to bring posters because the dorms were bleak without them.  She had even found a moving quidditch one that she liked.  It had Harry and his team flying around.  It looked pretty cool, she wished she could learn that.  But maybe over her first break.

***

Catherine listened to her daughter's rambling monologue about her dorm room and her placement, smiling in relief.  "That's fine, Lindsey.  Did you find anything you forgot?"  She smiled. "I had Greg forward your shampoo and back brush this morning.  Sure.  No, you rest tonight.  Remember, first days are always longest."  She smiled.  "Love you too, Lindsey.  Behave and be well.  Call me in a week.  Love you too.  Bye."  She hung up and gave Grissom a tired look.  "It's a dorm room."

He nodded. "I expected that much," he admitted.  "I doubted anywhere in the US could be like that one we visited to help with that one case."  She nodded, looking sad.  "You could always ask if she could go over there.  That would give Dawn someone else to chat with."

"I'd never survive her being over there," Catherine sighed, sipping from her bottle of water.  "At least Greg got the two cops over there to agree to watch over her.  That way I don't have to worry so much.  Vecchio's an over-protective guy from the old school."  He nodded, looking sympathetic.  "Where is Greg?"

"He said something about Emilia and the babies," he said with a small shrug.  "I'm assuming they're doing more fun things that new parents do."

She pulled out her cell and called Greg's, getting Blair.  "Where's Greg?"  She sat up and put her water down.  "Why?  No, we'll be right down.  Keep him calm, Sandburg."  She hung up.  "Emilia was having some false labor and they admitted her to the local hospital."  Grissom got up and pulled her up, walking her out so she could drive them to check on them.  Emilia meant so much to Greg, he'd be destroyed if something happened to her.

New Banes, New Hells on Earth.

Greg looked over as his desk phone rang, reaching over to grab it.  "Yeah, Sanders?" he said tiredly.  He rubbed his forehead.  "Yup, sure.  No, she's fine.  Just on bedrest.  No, she's fine.  We've got people helping her now and then.  Thanks though."  He smiled.  "No, I'll be going on leave right before she's due," he admitted.  "Thank you for the offer.  I've got to run some DNA, so I'll let you go.  Sure.  Thanks again for offering me more leave time, Sheriff."  He hung up and went back to running the sample in front of him.  He was listless and he knew it, it was like that time he had managed to do a potion that blocked magic for a week.  He had felt the same way then.  He hated it but he had to work, it took his mind off his wife's fragile condition.  One of the twins had decided to try to come out early and it wasn't sitting well with them.  And especially not with her.  She was fretful and antsy.  Of course, each time he checked on her she got worse, but he was her husband - he was supposed to worry.

He glanced at the apparition near the door and shook his head, getting back to work.  Why couldn't the dragon go with Lindsey?

***

Philip looked up as he walked in the door of the school, finally getting out of the wind.  "Hello," he said, removing his cloak.  "I'm here to see Lindsey Willows."  The guard nodded, swallowing hard.  "Is she in trouble?"

"No, sir.  Are you family?"

"No, delivering something from her family," he admitted with a smile. "I'm Philip Callahan."  He shook the guard's hand.  "I only need a few minutes."

"Fine.  Please follow me to the office, sir."  He led the way into the office.  "Ma'am, this is Philip Callahan, he's got a delivery for Lindsey Willows."

"That's fine."  She smiled at Philip as he came in.  "More books?"

"A few," he admitted with a boyish grin.  "But also some fudge from Alex, Harry, Ron, and Dawn and a few posters from Ron's collection since he's getting some new ones.  It seems they're both following Chuddly now."

"Chuddly?"

"Cannons.  Quidditch team?" he said dryly.  "Ron's best friend plays on it and she's adopted it as her team too."  He smiled.  "It'll only take a moment."

"That's fine," she agreed, sending a summoning charm out to the girl.  It would find her no matter where she was.  She came jogging in a few minutes later.  "This nice young man has things from home for you."

"Cool!  What's up, Philip?"  She gave him a hug.  He was a nice guy.  "Is Hermione still trying to stalk you?"

"Not now," he admitted dryly.  "I moved into Hogsmeade and she's still working in London."  He pulled a bag out of his pocket and enlarged it.  "There you are.  Some fudge from the boys and Dawn.  Some of Ron's older posters so you can increase your Chuddly collection.  Harry got him some of the promotional stuff," he said with a wink.  "Plus that language charm and a book on Latin and one on Spanish to help ya some more."  He touched her forehead.  "Are you all right?  You're warm."

"I was in math and it's blasting heat right now," she admitted with a grin.  "Thanks, Philip."

"Not a problem.  My own Ma used ta send me cookies and things all the time my first term.  I remember how much it helped," he said with a wink.  "I'll let you get back to class.  Remember to call Dawn this weekend too.  She's at Alex's and wanted ta hear from ya."

"Yes, sir."  She gave him another hug and watched him walk out, then walked her treats up to her room, finding a piece of fudge to nibble on.  "Hmm, had house elves help I bet," she said happily.  It was the perfect fudge texture and had the perfect amount of nuts.  Besides, none of Alex's crew could cook.   She locked everything in her wardrobe then went back to math class in time to switch classes, still nibbling her piece of fudge.  A few people gave her odd looks.  "One of my pseudo-uncles sent it," she said happily.  "Along with a few posters and books."  She walked into her science class and took her assigned seat, finishing quickly since they couldn't even have bottles of water in there.  The teacher was a bit picky about such things.  He gave her a dirty look and she shrugged. "Treats from the kinda-family."

"Wash your hands thoroughly," he ordered, pointing at the sink.  "Food brings in germs and I won't have germs in my spotless classroom."

She gave him a long look, then got up to wash her hands.  "You know, they make drugs for OCD," she said quietly.  "They really do."  He looked stunned so she dried off her hands and went back to her seat, starting on her next project in there.  It wasn't that hard, she had done this last year in school.  It was actually kinda boring in many ways.  She had thought being a witch would mean different classes.  And here she was stuck in a boring science class that was so far behind what she had been doing.  She looked at the teacher.  "Can I move ahead?"  He shook his head, lips pressed firmly together. "Fine, make me be bored with stuff I've already done."

"You'll continue to do them until you do them perfectly, Miss Willows," he sneered.

"I'm up to my expectations. My mother's the criminalist, not me."  She went back to her notes, waiting while the others traipsed in and the bell rang.  She was doing Transfiguration notes but he wouldn't notice.

"We are moving onto human anatomy," he announced.  "We will be starting with the fetus and moving onto the nervous system.  Start reading now," he ordered.  Everyone opened their books and moved onto the next lessons, reading them so he didn't have to touch any of their germy desks.  He paced through the room, careful not to touch anyone or anything with anything on him.  He stopped beside Lindsey's desk.  "Have you done this?"

She looked up at him and nodded.  "Yeah, eighth grade science, the normal level.  Plus, ya know, I used Mom's books on homicides to help me now and then.  They had some really good stuff on the circulatory and nervous system, plus some stuff on the general anatomy that was needed to work a crime scene.  It was easier than the textbook."  He shuddered and went back to his carefully maintained germ-free space.  Now she knew why Greg had pushed her to go to a good school.  Maybe she'd ask to transfer.  She raised her hand and he glared at her, nodding for her to speak.  "Sir, are we studying the effects of things on the body or just the general body stuff?  Greg wanted to know if he should send me a book on healing elixirs or not.  He asked the last time I talked to him."

He snorted.  "Those supposed cures don't work."

She shrugged.  "So you say but I've seen him heal people in the past and he is a Potions Master.  As proven by the European Potions Board."   He looked stunned.  "I've seen some wicked potions in my time around him.  He's got neat stuff that heals baby bump bruises too.  I was wondering how that worked actually."

"Baby bump bruises?" he sneered.

"Yes, he's got a toddler who still runs into things so he's created something to take care of the minor bruising.  Something topical in Vicks Vapo-rub, that's all I know about it."  She shrugged. "It's works great.  I've had to use some on some gym injuries."

"You have *potions* in this school?" he asked in disbelief.  She nodded.  "Why?  That is antiquated and old fashioned, Miss Willows.  No *real* wizard today believes in such things."

"Really?  Would you like to tell that to most of the curse breakers, most of the European witches and wizards, and half the healers in the world?  Or even the Wiccans, who I'm assured are sometimes real, if not altogether there."  His jaw dropped.  She nodded once and went back to her reading, shaking her head.  "Progress at the expense of things that work isn't progress, it's meaningless."

"Do you watch *quidditch* too?" another student sneered.

She looked at him.  "I have a very good friend who plays on her house team," she told him.  "So, yes, I do.   It takes skill to maneuver a three-inch-thick piece of wood in a manner that wins games.  Why, don't you watch sports?"

"Quidditch isn't a sport," he laughed.

"Whatever, dude, it's your mental problems.  Just don't force me to watch football.  Why would I want to watch an excuse for aggressive tendencies and violence to be exposed to the world?" she asked dryly when he snorted.  "All it is is a bunch of men proving that they're more caveman-like and that they can play with balls while wearing pads and spandex.  You wanna watch football, watch Australian rules football.  No pads and a lot less referee interference."  He looked stunned. "Yes, there is a world outside the US," she said sarcastically.  "Welcome to the wider world, Holmes.  Would you like a map?"

He went back to his sneer.  "I bet you know how to use a quill too."

"Actually, I did learn but I prefer gel writers," she said snidely. "They're smoother and don't drip ink everywhere."  He gaped.  "Sorry, but Ron made sure I knew, just in case I needed it for something."  She shrugged.  "It's a handy skill to have.  I could write with a stick in wax tablets if I had to.  He's said he's had to on the job as an apprentice curse breaker.  It was the only thing available to make notes on."  He shuddered and went back to his own reading.

"Ron?" a female asked quietly.  "Weasley?"  Lindsey turned and nodded, looking bland and emotionless.  "You know the Weasleys?"

"Yeah.  I'm good friends with Dawn.  She plays on her house team."  She grinned.  "It's not that bad.  My sponsor is one of the Weasley's friends so I met them through him and my mom, who helps them sometimes."

"With what?  She's a muggle," the teacher said bitterly.

"Yes, but she's also a kick ass criminalist and a very nice woman to people like Tipsy Ramvette-Weasley.  They're buddies," she said with a shrug.  "They met when people tried to kill my sponsor.  The Death Eaters hated him for being himself."  He gaped so she went back to reading.

"Do you know Potter too?" the boy sneered.

"Only met him two or three times.  He's a nice guy but he's really shy and kinda quiet when he doesn't know you," she said as she read.  "His Great-Uncle brought him and his other trainees into Vegas for a short vacation over the holidays."

"Oh."  He pouted.  "I'm betting you don't know them."

She pulled off her locket and opened it, letting him see the picture inside. It was her, Dawn, Alex, and Ron after a shopping trip.  They all had ice cream cones.  "Answer that question enough for you?" she asked as she put it back on and made sure it was closed.

The boy pouted at the teacher.  "She does.  She was sitting on some dark-haired guy's lap while *Weasley* was patting her on the back."

"That was my first shopping trip to a wizard's shopping area.  Alex was getting his trainees restocked of some stuff they'd run out of in Tibet."  She turned the page.  "Aren't we supposed to be reading, not chatting about the people I've been around for the last year?"  She came to an entry that made her frown and looked at the teacher.  "This directly contradicts our Defense text, sir.  Is there a reason for that?"

"This is correct.  Defense is another archaic subject," he said firmly.  "Keep reading. You'll see why."

"Sure, fine.  Whatever," she sighed, going back to her reading.  She knew enough about vampires from Dawn that she skimmed it.  "Sir, the demon's able to be controlled somewhat," she mentioned.

"Prove it."

She looked up again.  "Should I call in William the Bloody?  He's still got that stupid chip in his head."   He shook his head, backing against a wall, which made him shriek and head for his in-class shower to wash off the germs he had come in contact with.  "Just spray yourself with Lysol," she complained as he stripped down.

"You know William the Bloody?" another girl asked.

"Only through Dawn.  I'm supposing I could ask her to ask him.  He's sounding like he's bored in LA since they haven't had an apocalypse for months.  She said he was anyway."  She continued on.  "That's another not right thing.  Arterial spray is with the pump of the heart, not when it relaxes.  Mom said so."

"What does your mother do?" the first boy asked cautiously.

Lindsey turned to look at him.  "Mom's a criminalist.  She goes to crime scenes to find evidence and figure out who did what and how.  She's commonly called a scene tech since she doesn't specialize.  My sponsor is a DNA tech.  He runs lab samples to find DNA and things.  He's also a Potions Master."

"He's the Wizard of Blood then," one girl in the back said, sounding firm.  Lindsey nodded, grinning at her.  "Does Alchemy work?"

"Apparently for him but he said it's hard as hell to make a stone.  He had one that was tainted by someone breaking into his personal lab a few years back and it took him nearly forever to clean and repurify it.  Right now, they're waiting to hear if it's twins or triplets.  They think there might be an echo effect going on.  Greg admitted he had one of those when he was born."  They looked impressed at that.  The teacher ran out, going back to his quarters.  "Is there anything in here on veela's differences?"  The top student in the class shook his head.  "Shoot.  I wanted to know what made them so different."

"It's that touch of magical creature in their line," he said simply.  "It does odd things to the mind and body.  You know one?"  She held up two fingers.  "Two?" he asked, looking stunned.  "Who?"

"Draco Malfoy-Dumass and Greg's wife, Emilia.  Consort Veelas."  He looked impressed, smiling at her.  "Emilia's presently having problems with the babies though so I'm kinda worried."

"Veelas usually have hard pregnancies," he admitted.  "My mother studies them as a hobby.  She said that they're fascinating creatures but that they're not nearly human enough for most interactions.  Do you think one of them would stomp her ideas flat?"

"That would be better coming from Draco," she agreed with a grin.  "He's good at stomping on people.  It used to be his favorite hobby."

"Miss Willows," a glowing dot said as it entered the room.  "Miss Willows to the office for a visitor."

"Again?" she sighed.  "Man, and I thought my mom was over protective."  She gathered her things up and trudged that way, stopping to get a new bottle of water since she probably wasn't going to be going back to science class.  She found the Headmistress behind her desk and glanced around. "They left or you wanted to chat?"

"I wanted to talk to you, Miss Willows.  I know your education so far has been in those stuffy, *old* ways but we do not practice them here."

"That's not my fault. I happen to like quidditch."  She got gaped at and shrugged.  "It's a thrilling game.  Much better than baseball, soccer, hockey, or football.  Though I do like basketball."  She sat down, dropping her things onto the floor.  "Sorry if it bothers you, but I'm not going to give that or my friends up.  I happen to like being friends with Dawn, and her fiance and her fiance's friends, and Greg's friends.  They treat me like a human being with some sense sometimes.  For that matter, shouldn't we be studying things like what magic is and what it does and how it does it?  I mean, is it a matter of will power, or of focus, or simply something philosophical like imagination?"  The teacher groaned. "Sorry, I'm guessing that's for later, but I've gotta do something.  I'm bored!"

"Miss Willows, those matters concern the old ways.  Today's *modern* witch and wizard are just like everyone else."

"Yeah, because everyone can float things with a piece of wood?" she snorted.   "I'm not changing, you might as well get over it."  The Headmistress looked stunned.  "For that matter, I saw something in my room that worried me.  Why was there a military recruiting brochure?"

"They do recruit from among the students," she admitted.  "Most decide not to go, however it does have its benefits."

"Sorry, not what I want in life.   I'd rather be a cop first, or like my mother. Actually, I'd almost rather go work for the Weasley twins most days, they seem like they have fun while they work and research."  She got a third gape and grinned.  "It's interesting.  They take a few things and turn them into these wonderful ideas that people want to kidnap them for.  That's the sort of charms and transfiguration I want to study, not turning bobbins into thimbles or changing my clothes around.  Which is neat and all, but why?  Just go shopping!"

"I think, Miss Willows, that this may not be the proper school for you after all," she said calmly.  "I will be calling your sponsor in a few moments to see if he'd like us to recommend you to Iowa.  I'm sure you'd like it more out there.  I know they expressed an interest in your skills."

"Aren't they the one run by that military freak?" she asked.  The Headmistress' lips thinned.  "Ah-ha.  Nope.  I think I'd rather go to Salem or Canada."  She stood up and gathered her things. "I'm going to my dorm room now.  I'll expect to see my sponsor when he gets in."  She walked off, quickly making plans.  Once she got inside, she tossed everything into her trunk and did the locking spell that Alex had taught her.  No one else at the school knew it.  She pulled her wand as someone knocked on her door, opening it.  "You are?" she asked calmly, noticing the shiny buttons on his uniform. "I'm not going to a military school, sorry.  That is not my choice in my life."

"You don't get to make that decision, little girl."

She snorted and pointed her wand at him.  "Bet me.  Stupify."  He shrieked and went down and she grabbed her phone to run out of the school.  She paused at the guard.  "Just give me a minute to make it onto the street," she pleaded.  "I'm not going to the military."  She ran out, heading for the nearest place with people, dialing her phone on the way.  "Ray, help.  It's Lindsey.  The military's after me.  They're trying to conscript me for not being a modern enough witch."  She stopped to glance around.  There was a shopping center nearby.  "I'm going into the Plaid Market K-Mart.  I'll be back in housewares.  There's always places to hide back there."  She checked the traffic before heading to an intersection and across.  "Thanks, man.  I owe you.  No, just me.  My stuff's locked in my trunk back at the school."  She hung up and made it across the street, heading inside.  The security guard headed for her so she put her wand back up her sleeve and pulled him aside. "My mom's a scene tech in Vegas.  There's someone after me.  There's a cop coming to pick me up.  I said I'd be in housewares.  Which way?"  He pointed, looking stunned. "Thanks, you didn't see me."  She calmly walked that way, heading back to hide among the curtains and sheets.

***

Ray opened his phone after hanging up and called the number in Vegas.  "It's me," he said in greeting.  "Lindsey just called.  Said something about not being modern enough and the military trying for her?"  He winced.  "I thought so.  No, I'm going to pick her up.  She said she left everything back at the school.  Yeah, I'll bring her back here."  He hung up and stood up, going into his lieutenant's office.  "Sir, I've got to pick up that kid that I'm watching out for.  Someone just tried to snatch her.  Someone military."  He nodded, waving him away.  "Thank you."  He headed down to his car, driving a bit faster than normal.  He did slow down when he noticed that cabs were getting out of his way.  They didn't usually do that, not even with his lights and siren on.  He found the K-Mart easily enough, it had a military jeep outside.  He walked in and looked at the security guard.  "Which way to the sheets?" he asked.

The guard moved closer.  "She's back in the shoe department right now.  They're tracking her, officer."

"Detective actually.  Thanks."  He headed back that way, grabbing Lindsey as he walked.  "Come on, kid."

"Yes, Ray."  She followed him out, stopping to buy a candybar and a soda so she wouldn't look so suspicious.  He gave her an odd look for it.  "Lunch," she offered sheepishly.  "I was in science class."

"Fine," he agreed.  "We're going back to the station."

"Is that a good idea?" a man behind them asked.  Lindsey spun and Alex grinned.  "Hey, Linds.  Probs?"

"Military," she said, pointing at their jeep.  "No station?"

"No, go," he said, smirking at her.  "Let us handle this.  How would you feel about Canada?  Greg wanted to know."  She beamed and hugged him then left with Ray.  He leaned against the side of the jeep, getting stunned looks when the MPs came out.  "Hey, how ya doin'?" he asked, smirking at them.  "Do you see me?"  They nodded. "Do you know me?"  They shook their heads.  "I'm a curse breaker, I'm known as Carnage.  You just tried to snatch my niece."  They stepped back and their commander stepped forward.  "I'm a bit pissed at you guys at the moment. You tried to snatch a fourteen-year-old girl. Are you desperate?"  The commander growled and Xander stunned him without pulling his wand, then moved closer.  "Get it right.  I'm the danger if you continue this campaign.  Don't believe me, look up Sunnydale in your records."  He pulled his wand and pointed it at the jeep.  "Praemium Totalis," he hissed and it blew up.  He looked back at the commander.  "I've done that to others before.  This is your only warning.  Stay away from Lindsey.  Forever."  He strolled off as if nothing had happened and the MPs didn't make a move on him.

"I'll see you in my regiment yet," the commander called.

Xander turned and looked at him, then smirked and shook his head.  "I doubt it.  I'm a bit gay you see.  I doubt my consort would like that.  But by all means, ask the others who I am so you know."  He gave them a cheerful wave and continued back to the school.  The guard gave him a look of awe.  "I'm a normal man with a temper," he said happily.  "The military is going to leave us alone or die trying to figure it out.  I'd confess about any part you played in that drama."

"None," he said sadly.  "The Headmistress is behind it all, sir.  Are you Carnage?"  He grinned and nodded.  "The others are in her office."

"Good.  Then they probably don't need me.  Sandburg, Sanders, and Methos are usually enough to convince anybody.  Having Callahan here will only make it worse."   He strolled that way anyway, smiling at them.  "I got to blow up stuff, I'm a happy boy now."

"Good.  Go up to her room and make sure it's all packed," Blair said grimly.  "We're having a discussion with her."

"The guard said it was her who called in the military."

"She's one of the General's apprentices," Greg said tiredly.  "Please, Alex?"

"Sure, Greg.  Then I'll go sit with your wife so you can have a nap."  He went up to her room, following her magical traces, and found it fully packed.  He grabbed her trunk and hefted it down the stairs, going back up there to check all the usually forgotten stuff.  Toothbrush in the holders, things in the desk.  Places like that.  He found nothing and that made him happier.  He did go take back a few things from one girl but she didn't seem to mind too much, she handed it over without saying anything.  "Thank you, young lady.  Now remember, the military will only get you used and killed.  They're like that."  She nodded mutely and he headed down to pack those into her trunk too, handing it over to Greg.  "There you go.  Ray has her safely at his work by now."

"Thank God," he muttered, heading over there to help him.  On the way he stopped at the Canadian embassy to drop something off for Lindsey, her application.  "That's got to be priority rushed back up North to that special school," he requested. "It's a matter of saving a girl from a life of misery here in the States."  The mountie on duty gave him a dumbfounded look.  "Is Fraser here?"

"Yes, sir.  Hold on please," the mountie said, going to retrieve him.  Fraser came out of his office, looking happy.  "Him, sir."

"Gregory. What's wrong?"

"The military tried to snatch Lindsey.  Can you forward her application up there for us?"

"Of course.  I can fax it over for you directly," he promised, taking it off the desk.  "Is she all right?"

"Ray's got her.  She showed some good sense."  He clapped him on the arm.  "Thanks, man.  Come see the twins soon.  They're anxious to get out."  He left, heading up to the precinct. It was only a short hop, which was good because he was exhausted.  He walked in and Lindsey ran for him, hugging him hard.  "Hey, it's all right," he promised.  "No more poser schools for you."  She looked up at him in shock.  "You're going to Canada.  Your mom said so.  It's a nice school, a lot like mine was, and it makes Salem look puny," he vowed.  "Seventy acres of stuff, including some horses."  He walked her inside and shook Ray's hand.  "We were worried, but I didn't think it'd get like this.  Thank you."

"Not an issue.  I thought they got off that kick."

"They'll never be fully off that kick while there's someone power hungry higher up," he said quietly.

"What about Alex?  He just blew up their jeep," Lindsey said, glancing around.

Greg hugged her again.  "He'll be fine, Linds.  Trust me, he'll be just fine."  He grinned at her.  "Come on.  Blair's got your trunk.  Benny's faxing your app, and I think it's time for lunch.  I'm damn tired."

"Of course you are.  Your woman's having problems," Ray agreed.  "Need a ride?"

Greg yawned, but waved a hand and shook his head.

"Bet me," Stan said as he walked in.  "Alex said you have a room for the night.  That the twins are staying with Emilia and Draco.  So go nap!"  He smirked at Lindsey.  "What did you do?"

"I disputed some of their thinking on how things should be and I told the science teacher with OCD that he needed drugs," she said dryly.  "They decided I wasn't modern enough for them.  Half of my class didn't even bring a ..."  She trailed off, remembering they were in public.  "No one brought anything to help them *work* on things," she explained.  "I was kinda bored."

"I knew I had bad feelings about them," Greg noted, walking her out.  "Which hotel?"

"The big one up the street.  Can't miss it.  It says Radisson on the side," Stan said, walking behind them so he could drive them over there.  "The others'll be there tonight, they promised they'd never wake you up but they'd be checking on you."  He walked them inside and nodded at the check-in girl.  "Sanders and Willows?"

"Yes, sir.  Just sign the register please?"  Greg nodded again and did so, handing over his credit card. "That's not necessary, sir.  Someone's already paid for the suite."  She smiled at Lindsey.  "What sort of school was it that upset you so?"

"Stupid one," she said dryly.  "Putting me behind when I've done all that before and then some.  They didn't want me to learn anything and it showed."  She took the keys and led Greg to the elevator, letting him lean against the wall.  "Emilia would kick my butt if you fell asleep there," she warned.

He grinned at her.  "I know.  My girl's a kicker."  He got them onto the elevator and up to their room before collapsing on the bed.  "Watch something," he mumbled, already halfway asleep.

"Sure, Greg."  She went to watch tv.  She had missed it.

***

The Headmistress walked into her office later that night and found a single light on.  "What is going on?" she asked as she tried to turn on the main lights.  She turned to look at the man sitting in her corner chair under the light, gasping in shock.  "You!"  It couldn't be, not him.

He leaned forward.  "You're upsetting a very nice young lady," Harry said quietly.  "One that I find quiet enjoyable to be friends with.  Also, you're upholding traditions that never were traditions and never will be.  That is beside the fact that you're aiding the government in destroying the few wizards over here."  He leaned back, looking quite comfortable.  "Those of us in the rest of the world are tired of this nit-picking nastiness you have for the finer things in life.  You wanna be a techno-witch, go for it.  I hear that's big among the Wiccans at the moment," he sneered.  "If you're going to run a school, run a real school, not a haven for posers."

She opened her mouth again and backed away.  Harry continued relentlessly.  "I already disabled all the spells in this room, including your summoning charm.  It pays to have my own wand.  Your students should know that joy too.  Even though we all know who burnt down the local wandmaker's house with him in it."  She swallowed and backed away another step.  "This haven of mediocrity will be changing back to excellent hands.  I hear your Board of Regents has had enough.  Enough of many things."  He stood up and she burst out in tears, pleading for her life.  He snorted.  "You're not worth the effort of a curse, lady, much less the strain to hide your body.  Leave the real wizards and witches to those with real skills."  He waved his wand and disappeared, and the lights went back on.

The Headmistress sat down, clutching her knees to her chest.  "What have I done?  He's evil.  I should have destroyed him.  I must destroy him and what he holds dear to release them."

Someone coughed and she turned, then shrieked and backed away from the man standing there.  "You!" she said, pointing.

"Me," he agreed happily enough.  "Did you think I was the nice one earlier?" he sneered.  He pulled his wand.  "We're letting Harry vent at the moment, but I think you're a bit too dangerous to go on.  Obliviate totalum," he hissed, flicking his wand at her.  She grabbed her eyes and screamed, falling onto the carpet in a heap.  "Good.  Much better."  He left, long before the guard got up the courage to come check on her.  If he was even still there. "Maybe we can turn this back into a language and charms school again.  First thing's first though, they'll need wands."  He went to report to the Board, who had allowed him this special gift.  "She's done for," he said, calmly twitching his robes into place.  "She thought I was nice."

"You are usually," Sloan said bitterly.  "What did you do, Philip?"

"Obliviated her."

"Good enough," Sloan decided.  "I need the help of a decent educator."

"Get Blair," he said wisely.  "Watch him because he's a Guide without his Sentinel, but get his opinion on the matter."  He smirked and walked away, heading to the hotel for his shift of Lindsey and Greg watching.

Sloan looked at the other board members.  "Onto the next point.  Has anyone seen Dumass since he left?"

"I believe he's the reason the Pentagon was closed early today," one of the board members said dryly.  "Something about humongous demons singing show tunes and Barry Manilow I believe.  Some even in drag hitting on the nice generals."  He smirked at Sloan, who was chuckling quietly.  "That boy does have an imagination."

"I heard he likes to send odd little gifts too, things like stripping house elves," another board member admitted.  "Especially to those who it'd make cry.  Now what?"

"Now, we restart the school in the finer fashions it once held," Sloan said simply.  "Perkins, I want you to find everyone from the old years and find us teachers ASAP.  I want good teachers.  Even if we have to use Sandburg we will.  He'll be stable for a bit longer.  I want a curriculum set up immediately and I want those children to be fitted for wands and brooms.  I want at least two house elves in that school by the end of the week.  Understood?"  She nodded, making notes.  "Good.  General, I want you to call off the dogs before we beat them with a newspaper.  I find them tiring and emotionally unstable."  He nodded briskly.  "Excellent," Sloan near-purred.  "Any other suggestions?"

"Uniforms and robes?" Perkins asked.

"Next year.  This year there will be a robe requirement.  Over the jeans is fine."  She nodded, making another note of that before getting up and leaving the room.  He looked at the other woman in the room.  "Get me some of Dumbledore's extra pool of teachers if necessary."

"I know a great Defense teacher," she offered. "He's a werewolf."

"So?"

"Good point but that's what got him in trouble before.  I'll write him personally through Molly.  Leave Carnage to me, William."  She stood up and walked out, heading back to her demonic realm.  Her son was making her so proud.  She nearly wanted to sniffle.  She traipsed around, sending William a few teachers with ideas, then went to LA personally.  "Remus Lupin," she said quietly, making him jump.  He gave her a wide-eyed look and slowly backed away from her, making her smile.  "Good instincts, boy.  I like that in Chicago's Defense teacher.  Go, now. You're needed.  They're fixing the tragedy."  He backed up another step.  "Sloan said so, boy.  Take the doggy with you and let Buffy help if you'd like," she said with a smile.  "I'm sure my son would enjoy that."  She winked. "Be there by tomorrow."  She disappeared, leaving only a small dark place on the floor where she had been.

Remus mentally checked all his organs, then went to the bathroom before packing.  He had heard about that already from Dawn, who was pummeling Spike to keep her temper in check.  He walked into the main sitting area and cleared his throat. "I was summoned to Chicago to teach," he said quietly.  "Alex's mother suggested me and that I bring Sirius and Buffy with me."

"No bloody way," Spike snorted.  "Take Buffy, but not my muttly friend."  He kicked at the dog, who growled and changed back, pouncing him to try and win this fight this time.

"Who else would you play with," Sirius agreed.

"Fine, then I'll take Spike and Sirius," Remus offered.

Angel beamed at him and went to help him pack.  He'd be getting rid of both annoyances!  "Don't let me forget to cut your last check, Remus.  You've been a great help and you're saving the world a lot of trouble by taking them with you.  Have fun with them, really."

Remus snorted.  "You'll be fine.  They'll want you to visit."

"Hey, there's always an apocalypse waiting to happen.  I'm sure I can put it off for *years*."  He all-but danced down the hallway.  No more Spike!  No more Sirius!  No more being pounced by them and tortured by their idea of fun and games!  No more beer breath!  "Actually, I think I can pull up a bit of soullessness on cue if I need to," he offered.

"The idea is to teach the students, not to scare the magic out of them," Remus said, giving him a gentle pat on the arm.  "I'll try to keep them with me, but you know those two."  Angel nodded, looking a bit less happy.  They'd be back some day, he was sure of it.

***

Lindsey looked around the school she was visiting, smirking in delight.  "Now *this* is what I'd expect from a school of magic!" she said firmly, smirking at her mother. "Plus they've still got computers."  She patted the nose of the horse pulling the carriage before climbing into it, letting Greg on one side and her mother on the other.  "Is this like Hogwarts?"

"Oh, greatly," Greg agreed.  "Just more snowy," he admitted with a grin.  "Go," he ordered and the horse turned them around, heading back to the school with them.  The driver was the horse and he knew just where to go.  They got out and he helped Lindsey and her mother out, then led the way inside, taking a deep sniff.  "Yeah, this smells right.  Potions, burning hair from charms, and candle wax."

"Plus the odd fried mind from the computers crashing last night," a higher-pitched voice offered.  "You are?"

"I'm Gregory Sanders," he said, looking down at the diminutive woman.  "I was taught by Finius."

"Ah.  The Wizard of Blood and your sponsored child," she said, nodding politely at Lindsey.  "What are you good in?"

"Mouthing off to teachers," Catherine said, giving her daughter a look.  "A specialty she'll be dropping."

"It's not my fault the science teacher had Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder or that he stripped down to shower in front of his classes," she said dryly.  She held out a hand. "Lindsey Willows.  Greg thinks I'm going to be good in Transfiguration and Charms.  Which do you teach?"

"Transfiguration," she said smugly.  "How did you know?"

"Dawn taught me how to see auras and I see a dragon in yours."

"Very well done, Miss Willows.  I'm sure you'll fit in here very well."  She looked at Gregory, who handed over the vault key, handed Lindsey her trunk, and winked while handing over a broom.  "Thank you, Wizard Sanders.  Are you staying for dinner?"

"I wouldn't mind talking with the Ice Princess," he admitted, smiling happily.  "Sev said his sister was here."

"She's in residence but she is far from happy with her brother at the moment," she warned.

"Salivina has never been very happy with anything," he reminded her dryly.  Then he walked down the halls.  "Learn to fly and then I'll talk Alex and Ron into teaching you how to play," he offered as he strolled off.

"Sure, Greg."  She smiled at the small teacher.  "Can I take the tour and do we have somewhere to leave my crap?"

"Of course.  Let's get you sorted."  She led the young woman off, her mother staring around.  "Not as many paintings.  They seem to influence the electrical currents at times," she offered.  "It's the soul energy in them."  She led them into the Headmistress' office, smiling at her. "This is Lindsey Willows.  I believe she'll be quite an asset."

"I'd still like to take the tour and ask questions," Catherine offered calmly.

"Sure, babe," the Headmistress said happily, waving a hand.  "We don't really measure up against the ancient honors of Hogwarts, but we're pretty dishy in our own rights."

"Were you a Hufflepuff?" Lindsey asked.

The Headmistress laughed and nodded.  "How did you know, ducks?  I went on an exchange program.  C'mon, it's nearly tea time and we can do the tour afterwards.  Our visitor's quarters are excellent and fairly sweet to nap in too," she shared as she led them down to their version of the Great Hall.  "Oh, Bo, I have the feeling she'll be in your house, love.  This is Lindsey.  Lindsey, this is Bo, he's one of our resident ghosts.  He's a hero of the War of 1812.  He defended the school against the Puritans who came up to civilize and correct us."

Lindsey grinned.  "Good job.  I'd hate 'em too."  She bowed.  "I'll probably be seeing you soon, sir."

"Of course, m'dear," he agreed, grinning at her and winking at Catherine.  "Quite a strong one you've got there.  Can't wait to see her on a broom."  He floated off, going to gossip with some of his favorite students.  It was nearly tea time after all and what better way to spend it than this?

***

Greg looked at Catherine as they walked into the station together.  "It was a good decision. It's a very technical and very vocationally oriented school," he reminded her. "Besides, she found six other girls *just* like her within an hour of being sorted.   Plus two boys who were sniffing her like Dief does a dish in the fridge."  She cracked a smile at that.  "See, she'll be fine.  It's not that much farther away and I can always get you up there."  She gave him a hug then went to the lockers to find her gun.  He walked into Grissom's office.  "We're back. She's safely in Canada.  She was having a squeal-fest with some of the girls when we left."  Grissom smiled at that.  "Plus, she liked it on sight."

"Good, Greg.  How's the wife?"

"I called her last night but she was feeling fussy, didn't want to talk.  Why?"

"Because your mentor was here earlier looking for you," Warrick said behind him.  "Catherine looks down.  She okay?"

"Lindsey loved Canada," Greg said with a small smirk.  "Walked in and pronounced it the sort of school she had expected it to be."  He went to call his house.  "Hey, Prof, why are you in town?  Did Hogwarts fire you or did it refuse to let you in after another drinking binge?"  He listened to the quiet words.  "Is she all right?"  He swallowed and stood up.  "Coming.  Yeah, right now."  He hung up and jogged back to the office.  "The Prof is there.  He said Emilia's in real labor this time. They're doing some time stuff on her belly."  He waved.  "I'll be back sometime soon.  Maybe."  He left from right there.

The sheriff came further down the hall, then looked at Sarah.  "Did Sanders just disappear?" he asked, looking confused.

She gave him an honest and smiling shake of her head.  "No, Greg's perfectly normal.  He just runs really fast when it's about his wife.  You know she's been having problems, right?  Oh, I heard back from Cassie.  She said she'd *love* to come back for a formal interview for day shift.  She said Cascade's about to go into hell as far as she can tell.  There've been six different hostage takers at the station alone.  She said it's gotten really bad."

"I'll call her later," he agreed happily, ignoring the disappearing act for now.  "Gil."  He smiled.  "Is Sander's wife all right?"

"He said she's in real labor and they're having a hard time stopping it," Warrick admitted.  "We'll be moseying around later I suppose."  Then he shook his head. "Did I just use mosey as a verb?"  Grissom nodded, smirking at him.  "Never mind.  I need a nap and a soda."  He went back to work.  He called the house, just in case someone should know these things.  Maybe they'd make him forget Cassie too.  Greg hated her too.   If not, maybe praying for it as a miracle would count.

A few hours later, the station rocked as a muted explosion went off in the parking lot.  Everyone tried to find a reason but there wasn't a single trace of any explosive.  The man they'd found in the parking lot had said something about a truck backfiring so everyone ignored him.  Grissom looked up as the man walked toward him. "Don't you need permission to enter buildings?"

"Those are vampires and only in dwellings," Ethan said smugly.  "We've successfully timed the babies until they were only two weeks early.  Two boys.  Both showing Mastery potential."  Grissom broke out in a smile.  "He asked that I come cover for him this time.  Where might the annoyance be?"

"The Sheriff went back to his office," Sarah said as she walked around him.  "Hey, Ethan.  Enjoying your new life?"

"Quite a lot actually.  I find many *enjoyable* things in my present life."  She gave him a look so he leered at her. "I could show you I suppose.  I'm much better for you than your spouse, Sarah."

"You might, but you're too damn big to be human," she said snidely.  "I find that I like little men.  They pay more attention."

"Guys, making me ill," Grissom noted.  He went to call Greg's house.  "What do you need?" he offered gently.  "I've already filed your papers, Greg.  What else did you need?  Food, soda?  Pain killers?"  He smiled.  "No, I thought you might have enough of that.  Want Catherine?"  He smirked.  "Fine. We'll all be over tomorrow at sunrise."  He hung up and went to check on the sheriff.  There was no telling what Ethan would do to him.  He found the man entranced and on his knees, giving Ethan a worshipful look.  "Not at the station," he ordered.

"Of course not," Ethan said smugly, moving them both back to his house.  The man had offered his wife as well, it was a nice gift for him.  Some humans were quite generous.

"Luna will be kicking his butt for that," Nick said dryly, making Grissom look at him.  "When are we expected?"

"Just after dawn.  We'll ride out together to see the boys."

"Sure.  I'm sure Cassandra will need some attention by then."  He strolled off, going back to work on his usual lab.

***

Dawn sat up and squealed, startling Ginny and Luna, and half the rest of the library.  "Emilia had twins!" she said happily, hugging her buddies.  "Just the two!  They're both creating the echo!"

"Yes!" Luna shouted, hugging her back.  "You go, Greg!"

"Girls!" Madam Pince yelled.  "What are you doing?"  She hurried over to them. "What happened this time?" she asked primly.

"Greg had twins.  There was a narly little echo from both of the twins that made it seem like a trio, but they're only twins," Dawn said happily.  "Plus, the temporal stuff worked wonders.  They're only a few weeks early now instead of months."

Madam Pince relented and smiled at them.  "Good.  That is excellent news and more than worthy of a celebration, but do not do so in my library," she reminded them, going back to bother, er, help some of the other students.

"How did you know?" Ginny asked.  Dawn gave her a confused look.  "You're not marked yet you knew as it was happening.  How?"

"I don't know," Dawn admitted.  "I'm guessing it's like how I thought I knew Blair when I first met him and how I sent you that message about Harry's wand."  She shrugged. "Not a present worry for me."

"Oh, contraire, my sweet," Luna said with a smirk.  "It is time for us to put on our Hermione wigs and to go into super-research mode."

"Do I have to wear the glasses this time?" Ginny asked.  "They made my head hurt last time."

"I don't think we'll need that much power," Luna assured her, grinning as she stood up and headed to the circulation desk.  "Madam Pince, may I please have that book on the Key?  I wanted to show it to Dawn since she's run into it before."

"Of course, Miss Lovegood.  Such *pure* and *holy* things are very good for you to read up on," she praised, getting the restricted book for her.  She was old enough and Albus had told her she could have access to anything that she deemed would encourage Luna to stay on the light side of the lines.  "There you are. Remember not to take it out this time.  It was most upset with you last time."

"Yes, ma'am," she agreed, going back to her seat and handing Dawn the book.  "This is what happens when you work in a magic library.  You find some wondrous things hidden in the back shelves of the Charms section."

Dawn looked at the book in awe, then grinned at her.  "Thanks, Luna.  You're a great near-sis."  She settled in to read it.  Forget her Potion's paper, this was much more interesting and even Sev couldn't complain that much.  Especially since he'd be tired from the spells to help Emilia and might even miss class tomorrow.

Ginny grinned at Luna.  "You're good," she praised.  "Got anything for me?"

"Well, there is a way for you to have kids without being touched, and still being able to be with the unicorns, just not the little ones before they're weaned," she offered.  "Besides, someone threatened to take over the world by mixing Greg's DNA with Dawnie's, but he'd have to be the mom."  Dawn broke out in loud giggles, nearly falling out of her chair.  "Seriously.  They're taking it as a threat."

"If we do, I call dibs on putting it into Alex's body," Dawn said with a wink for her cohorts.

"That child would be hell on earth," Luna said thoughtfully.  "Think my Ethan snuggly would love to be a Godfather?"

"He'd probably beg and blow for it," Ginny said dryly.

"Ladies!" one of the Slytherins said in shock.  "What are you talking about?"

"Someone threatened to take some of my DNA and some of Greg Sander's DNA and make a baby with it to rule the world," Dawn said with an evil smirk.  "We think we should put it into Alex's belly.  You?"

The poor Slytherin looked stunned, then slowly backed away from her.  "There's no way you're a normal girl, or a Hufflepuff.  That's an evil thought!  I'm turning you in!" she shouted, running for the exit.

One of the older Hufflepuff males tripped her and winked at Dawn before going back to his comic.  He had owed her a bit for beating up on a bully for him.

The Slytherin got up and ran out crying.  That was a thought so bad not even Dumbledore would be able to save the world.  Not even Harry Potter wold be able to!  She ran into Professor McGonagall and clutched the front of her robes, sobbing pitifully.  "They want to force Miss Summers and that nice young Potions Master to have kids," she sobbed. "It's the newest dark plan to take over the world!  Not even Potter will be able to save us!"

McGonagall patted her gently on the back.  "I'm sure it wouldn't work," she soothed.  "Don't worry, we'd warp the child correctly before it was old enough to be dangerous," she promised.  "Come along.  I'll help you downstairs so you can clean up a bit."

"Mr. Malfoy would be ashamed of me," she agreed bitterly.  "But that's a horrible thing and Miss Summers was joking about putting it into that Alex's stomach!"

McGonagall shuddered. "Never fear, child, he hates children," she said, trying to calm her down again.  The Headmaster found them on their walk.  "Were you aware of a plot to force Greg and Dawn Summers to have a child?" she asked bitterly.  He shuddered but shook his head.  "There is one."

"Perhaps I'll have Severus gather what information they have.  That would be a horrible child."

"Uncle Sev said he's found one worse," Harry said as he strolled up the hall.  "If Luna and Ginny have a kid, who then mates with Ron and Dawn's kids."  He smirked at his former teacher.

"Oh, dear Merlin," she breathed. "That would be child that would break the school!  There's no plans for that, correct?"  Harry shook his head and the adults relaxed.  "Thank you. Try to keep it that way, Harry."

"Are you lost?" the Slytherin female asked, able only to get a small sneer in place.

"No.  I was looking for Dawn."

"They're in the library."

"Thanks, Professor.  Good evening, Headmaster."  He turned and strolled back that way, going to share the good news, at least until he heard that Dawn already knew.  Then he called Hermione for them to have her help them with the research.  She was in the Ministry's archives after all.

Baby's Big Day

Cassandra looked around her room, pouting at the plainness of it.  Not that it was plain, but she was pretty bored and she couldn't quite figure out how to make the room pretty colors yet.  It wasn't that she knew what interior decorating was but her father had promised her she could change thing's colors some day and she was a bored toddler.  She sighed and looked around again.  She'd already looked at all her books.  Almost all the uncles and aunts had left again.  She even had new toys, books, and treats, but she was still bored and she'd already made things explode.  That auntie was really funny sometimes.  She snuck out of her room and went into the new babies' room, pushing a chair over so she could stare at them. They were really small.  She looked around, expecting her father to pop in and tell her not to wake them up again.  He'd done that many times already.

She pouted at them but they couldn't play yet.  Daddy said that they'd play with her when they were older, but not yet.  That did give her an idea though. What had the neat uncle who did the magic stuff say?  Hmm.  Oh, yeah, magic was like wishing.  He had ignored the odd looks a few of the other uncles and an aunt had given him and told her that all she had to do was to think hard enough about something and it would happen.  So she thought really hard about how to make herself unbored.  Something came flying toward her and she squealed, grabbing the blanket.  Her daddy had made her this in case something bad were to happen, so she could get to an uncle's house.  Was boredom something bad?  She tried to consider it but decided if it was enough to make her wish up magic stuff then it must be bad for her.  So she carefully found the latch she had watched her mommy use the night before to lower the side of the crib and climbed in to sit at the twins' feet.  They were kinda cute for being so tiny, but they were easy enough to put onto the blanket and she could sit on the end of it too.  Then she said the word her daddy had told her to use if she was ever in trouble.  "Home!"

They zipped off, making her giggle and laugh as the moving spell moved them and the world rushed away around them.  That was really neat.  She liked this!  She'd have to do it again!

***

Blair Sandburg, present baby and wife sitter, looked up slowly as he felt the magic go off, getting up to investigate.  It hadn't been an apparation, there wasn't a 'pop' of displaced air.  It wasn't a charm because Emilia was still asleep and he had been reading.  'San wasn't old enough to do more than the occasional outburst of magic yet.  He headed up to check on Emilia, thinking that maybe she had woken up and summoned herself something to drink, or maybe a snack, but she was fast asleep.  He walked past Cassandra's room and paused, then went inside when he didn't hear anything.  No baby.  He checked under the bed.  In the closet.  Behind the dresser.  In the toilet.  In the bathtub.  In the toilet again, because babies were odd, like cats and dogs, and liked to play in toilets.  In the closet again.  In the pile of dirty clothes.  Then he went to check on the twins.  He found their crib railing down and no babies.  He searched the room, just in case they had levitated or something else spectacular, but then had to admit that they weren't in there.  But, he was sure it hadn't been an apparation.  He searched the rest of the house, hoping it was someone playing with the babies to give him time to nap, but no luck.  Not even in the lab, which he had to scan from the doorway due to Greg's wards.  Cassandra loved the lab, yet she wasn't in there.  She wasn't in front of the tv, or in the kitchen, or in the back yard, or drowning in the pool, or in a lounge chair, or in her daddy's favorite chair, or behind or underneath the tv, or in the coat and broom closet, or anywhere!  "Oh, damn," he hissed, shaking his head as he went to wake Emilia.

Telling her would be much easier than telling Greg he'd lost his three kids.  She'd only kill him.  Greg might torture him.

"Um, 'Mil?" he called softly from the doorway.

"What?"

"Where's the kids?"

She looked at him.  "Aren't you supposed to be babysitting?"

"And I was," he assured her quickly, "but I felt some magic going off and I came to check and now I can't find them.  It wasn't an apparation," he said quickly as she tried to sit up, "but I don't know what it was.  All the brooms are here, the twin's railing is down, and I tore up the house looking for them.  I even checked inside and under the fridge, they're not here!"  He ran his fingers through his hair.  "I'm sorry, 'Mil, I tried!" he said as she started to stand up.  "No, don't!" he said, hurrying over to push her back down.  "I'll search again."

"Sandburg," she growled.  He backed up and looked scared.  "Thank you.  Now, help my big ass out of this bed."  He helped her up and let her lean on him.  "Let's start in 'San's room."

"I kinda tore it up looking for her.  She wasn't even in the toilet."  She gave him an odd look but he didn't catch it.  "I'm so *so* sorry, 'Mil.  Please don't kill me?" he pleaded.

"We'll see, Sandburg."  She walked into the older child's room and frowned at the mess. "Did you do this or did she?"

"I did," he admitted sheepishly.  "I used to like to hide in the laundry."

"One of these days I'm going to hurt your mother," she muttered, searching it magically.  She found the traces of magic and followed it back to the crib, staring at the chair and how the railing was down.  An idea clicked in her head and she went back to Cassandra's room, then swearing came out.  "I knew teaching her about that portkey was a bad idea," she yelled.  Blair came running so she pointed at an empty spot in the drawer.  "Did you open that?"  He slowly shook his head.  "Are you sure, Blair?"

"Very," he admitted, looking at her.  "What portkey?"

"We crated an emergency portkey out of a blanket for the kids," she said impatiently.  "They're at Alex's if there's a problem since he's got the best guarded house of all of us."  He gave her an awed look.  "Do not start. You get to tell Greg that you lost his three kids," she said, going back to her bed.  This was not her fault and she wasn't getting between the guys.

Blair swallowed and picked up the phone, dialing the station.  "Um, Greg?" he asked, trying to sound casual.  "Remember how you had three kids?"

***

Greg moved the phone to look at it, then put it back up to his ear.  "What do you mean *had*?" he growled.  "I had better still have three kids, Sandburg.  They had better be human, happy, and healthy too."   He listened to the stammering admission and groaned, putting his head down on the desk.  "Sandburg, run," he advised, hanging up the phone.  He called on his tattoo but he didn't reach anyone, not even Tipsy.  Of course, it was only about dawn over there.

"What's wrong, Greg?" Warrick asked as he walked in with a small box.

"Have you ever had one of those conversations that just makes your head ache?" he asked into the table top.

"Yes, but the last one of those I had was about your friend."  He looked around. "Mortimer's not in today?"

"No, he decided to stay with the twins," he said tiredly, lifting his head.  "My daughter took her emergency portkey to England with the babies," he explained.  "Blair let them escape."

"I'd be making some new Blair-skin robes," he said dryly.  "You need to run over there?"

"No one's up," he said, eyes wide.  "The twins and my daughter won't land for another half an hour at best.  There's no telling what's going to be going on.  I sent them to Alex and he could be in the middle of having sex and I can't wake him."

"Doesn't he have a phone?"

Greg smiled. "Thanks, man, you're my sanity.  Put it down in front of Cat's."  Warrick smiled and did so then went away again, leaving him free to find his calling card and call England.  "Alex?" he said into the answering machine.  "Get up!  You've got incoming!"

***

Alex heard the phone ring and growled, but it didn't stop it.  So he let it hit the answering machine instead.  He barely heard the message, he had the volume turned down, but he did recognize the voice on some level and the message of 'incoming' was an old one.  One dangerous enough to get him out of bed long enough to check on the wards.  They were fine so he went back to bed.  At least until one of them started to ring a few snores later.  Then he growled at it again and stomped over to reset it.  It was probably a wandering unicorn.  They did it because they knew it'd wake him up.  He was sure of it.  He flopped back down into the bed, pulling his Draco bear closer to hold tighter.  Then he let out a contented sigh and went back to sleep.

***

Cassandra jerked as the blanket landed, doing the good big sister thing and checking on her baby brothers first.  They were fine and looked kinda happy, if a bit green.  They were cuddled up to each other again and were making happy baby noises so she guessed they were fine.  She looked around and squealed, recognizing this back yard.  She loved this place!  It was even neater than the station or the lab!  She got up to toddle inside, startling one of the house elves awake.

It gave her a scared look, then looked outside.  It went running after giving an order to get the little girl some milk.  She loved milk.   The house elf ran into the Master suite and into the only occupied bedroom, starting from the doorway to wake him.  "Master?" he called softly, thinking maybe it had been a bad night.  The sheets were very rumpled and the room didn't smell like they had mated.  "Master?" he asked, moving slightly closer, getting a bit louder this time.  "Sir?  Problems that need Master's attention please," he promised.  Still nothing, not even a grunt.  Not even from the blonde male wife.  Usually he'd be up by now as well.  He moved closer, just out of grabbing range, which was quite dangerous first thing when Master got up.  He was not a happy morning person in the least.  "Master?  We's have problems," he called louder, nearly shouting now.  "We needs Masters downstairs."  That got a small grunt, but nothing else.  So he did what he really hadn't wanted to do, he reached out a slim, thin finger and poked his master's back.  The Master reacted by grabbing it by the throat and dangling it off the floor.  "Girl," he gurgled, pointing toward the kitchen.  "Baby.  Travel, babies!"

Xander growled and put it aside so he couldn't toss it then curled up next to Draco again. "Tell the damn unicorns to feed their own kids."

"Not unicorns, sir.  Babies.  Girl babies and boy babies."

Draco lifted his head over Xander's side.  "What girl babies?  There's not that many of them that we know," he asked dryly.

"Squeaky, squealy one," he explained.  "Babies out back too!  Need help!  We not know babies!"

"What?" Xander demanded.  "Either speak in human or go deal with it."

"I do believe somehow Cassandra is back," Draco told him, putting his head back down again.  He stole a kiss, smirking at the nearly trademark squeal floating up the stairs.  "That does sound like her."

Xander groaned as he got out of the bed and pulled on pajamas, heading down to deal with the baby.  Not that he dealt with babies very well.  The house elves probably knew more about babies than he did, and they'd never been around any in their lives.  "Cassandra?" he asked plainly.  She grinned up at him and took another drink of her milk.  "Why are you here?"

"Bored!" she said happily, giving his legs a hug.  "Come see, Unclies!"  She led him to the back yard, letting him see what had made her squeal.  Two of the unicorn babies had come up to lie down on the blanket with her brothers.  "They pretty!"

"Yeah, they are," he agreed, moving closer.  One of them lowered its horn and snorted at him, making 'I'm going to kill you' noises in challenge.  "Okay then."  He backed away slowly, shaking his head as he went inside.  "Where is your father?"

"Daddy work, Unclie Blair read," she said with a grimace.  "No read me, but he reads lots."

"Yeah, he does that a lot," he agreed bitterly, glaring at the unicorn foals.  "Guys, I need those kids.  You're going to have to get over it."  They both glared at him and shifted closer to rest against the babies.  "Oh, shit," he said in disgust, going back inside.  "'San, sit down and look at books or something while I take a shower.  We'll take care of you until your father or mother can come get you."  He picked up the phone, dialing a long distance overseas number, getting someone he didn't expect.  "Grissom, it's Alex.  Is the doting father there?" he asked bitterly.  "No, they're here," he sighed, looking out the back window.  "Two of them are in the garden and I can't get to them, but they're here."  He heard the quiet comment.  "No, they're being babysat by two unicorns.  I can't get near them," he admitted honestly.  "Cassandra's presently scaring the servants."  He smirked.  "I'm sure she is, but this isn't exactly a kid friendly home.  I wanted to run around naked today and pounce my mate since Ron's at home.  So can you tell Greg to come get his precious offspring as soon as possible?  Thanks."  He hung up and went to try and get the twins again so they could be watched by things that could feed them, but the mother that was coming up to check on her foals wouldn't let him within six feet of them.  "In case you hadn't noticed, they're human babies," he tried.  She glared at him and nuzzled one, making it coo and giggle.  "Fine.  Whatever.  I can't touch them?  Can anyone?"  The mother glared again so he sighed and went inside.

Little did he know that the house elf had called out for some advice from a fellow house elf that used to work with them, and now worked with a set of twins and a set that had just been born.  So of course Cassandra talked to her friends while the house elves talked over the floo.

"Unicorns have brovers," Cassandra told the male twin.  "They nap pretty.  You should come see."  She didn't see the look the house elf shot her.

"If Mommy say okay," the girl said with a wicked grin.  It was mostly for show of course.  "We watched by Unctle Oliver."

"Wow.  He nice," 'San agreed.  "He come play maybe?"

"Maybe," she agreed, looking behind her.  She giggled and turned back around.  "He nap," she said with a wink at her brother.  They disappeared and their house elf decided that they probably went to torture the babysitter some more.  The two house elves continued to chat.  Even though both houses had multi-line floos and they knew they were keeping the connection open.

And just like a muggle phone, if you picked up an extension, you could get in on the conversation.

Or in the case of the floo, go to another extension on an open line.

So the twins brought their own babies out carefully, toddling them out into the back yard to see the pretty unicorns too.  They liked them.

"Oooh, pwetty," Joxer said in awe.

Iolaus, her twin brother, laughed and pointed, nearly dropping his baby.  "He nurse!" he said with a giggle.  The mother unicorn stood up and came over to nuzzle them, taking the babies carefully one at a time and brought them back to the blanket to let them play with the other two, leaving the older kids to run and play together.

The first Xander knew of it was the scream that nearly made him drop his morning tea.  He hesitantly looked outside, then groaned and shook his head.  "No!" he whimpered, going back upstairs to bed.  "Draco, if I have to suffer, you have to suffer," he announced from the doorway.  His mate rolled onto his stomach, presenting a tempting target, but the squeals were coming closer. "Draco!"  Draco sat up and rubbed his eyes, yawning as he stretched before looking at him.  "We're being overrun by those little people who think I'm good.  What are you going to do about it?"

"Why do I have to do anything about it?" he asked plainly.  "They're not my children."  He winced at a loud scream of delight.  "Oh, shit."  Xander nodded.  "That was Iolaus, wasn't it?"  Xander nodded again.  "Oh, fuck me, Alex.  Get her parents up!  She's experienced!  So are those bloody fathers of theirs!"

"That's a good idea," he agreed happily, touching his tattoo.  He got one sleepy 'go away, not time yet' and sent another call, this time with the image of the unicorns around the babies and their kids stripping each other in the garden as they played tag.

Draco got up and looked out the window that looked down on the garden.  "Since when did their twins come?" he asked, looking confused.  "And why is a mother unicorn nursing them?"

Xander groaned and climbed back into the bed, covering his head.  "I'm not dealing with that.  Let someone else do it.  We have aunts and house elves."

Draco decided that sounded like a splendid idea so he crawled back in as well.

***

One of the Weasley twins woke up and poked the other across their wife's sleeping body.  "Why is the house so quiet?" he asked.  "We should have been pounced by now."

The other let out a sleepy chuckle.  "Alex is having bad nightmares about kids coming to stay with him and playing dirty tag in the garden."

"Why?" Tipsy asked with a yawn.

"Huh?" the sleeping twin murmured, curling up next to her neck to nuzzle.  "Sleep now.  Twins'll be up soon, love."

"They should be up by now," she noted, looking at their alarm clock.  She looked at the awake twin.  "Think they're giving us a present by sleeping in?"  He nodded and snuggled in again, holding her just as tightly as his twin.  "Good boys," she agreed, patting them on the back.  "Good boys.  We'll sleep in until they pounce us."

The alarm went off but one of them, the awake one, sent it crashing into the wall.

"Good shot," the sleepy one mumbled, going back to sleep.

***

Greg slammed open the front door of his house, making the nearby windows rattle.  "Sandburg!" he roared.

"You told me to run but Emilia needed stuff," he squeaked, apparating off.

Greg stormed up the stairs, heading to his daughter's room.  He noticed the mess briefly, and decided that Blair would be picking it up.   His daughter didn't like messes that much.  He found the second blanket they had, frowning at the spell on it.  "They went to the school!" he called.  "This is the one I charmed to go to Alex's house.  The other went to Sev's office."

"Fine, call Sev then," Emilia said mildly from the doorway.  "He can probably help them brew something or some such."  She gave the room a look.  "Did you drive off Blair before he finished my sandwich?"

He smirked at her.  "You're so transparent," he said with a grin.  He kissed her on the cheek.  "Let me call Sev and I'll finish your breakfast."  He went to use the main floo, not trusting this call to any other means.  "Severus?" he said when the man's head appeared.  "My daughter decided she was bored and used the emergency portkey we created to go to your office to come see you with my beloved twin sons.  Have you seen them?" he asked calmly.  It was the better choice anyway for a landing spot.  Hogwarts had house elves that were used to children on some level or another.  It was also safer.  He'd be changing that other blanket later on to go to Sev's office as well.  Yes, a much better choice.  After all, Alex's house had fallen in once and they were routinely ambushed by nasty, slimy things and demons.

"No, I hadn't seen her," he admitted.  "I'm in my office at this moment.  What did the portkey look like, Gregory?"

"A blue blanket.  Kinda soft and fuzzy, really warm.  She apparently somehow got the twins into it and took off with them."

"We found the crib rail down so she put them onto the blanket after climbing in with them," Emilia said from the doorway, yawning a bit.  "Blair's back.  He's finishing my breakfast and I made him come up to clean 'San's room.  Severus, if you find them, send them back?"

"Of course," he snorted.  "I have no use for children."  He looked at his former apprentice.  "Are you sure they came here?"

"I made two blankets.  I know I set one to Alex's house and it's still here.  The other I'm pretty certain I set to your office since I had to have Dumbledore's permission."

"Hmm.  Then I'll look about.  I'll let you know if I find them here."  His head disappeared and he calmly stood up and did a visual search of his office.  There wasn't anywhere for three infants to hide.  He did notice his floors were very clean this morning and grimaced, walking down to the Great Hall to gather some help.   He looked at the gathered students from behind his usual seat, then walked down to the Hufflepuff table.  They'd be the sort to take the children in.  "Miss Summers," he said with a slight sneer, mostly for show.  He liked the obnoxious brunette for some odd reason, even though she couldn't brew anything.  "Did some children come into your house's possession this morning?"

"As far as I know no one gave birth," she said cautiously, looking confused.  "Why would we have?"

"The Sanders children may have portkeyed into the school and it seemed like a Hufflepuff thing to do to take them in," he said dryly.  "Are they in your house's possession?"

"No sir," she said, standing up.  "Um, ladies, we seem to have some kids who may have popped into the school on a portkey.  Anyone seen them?" she called.  The students around them all looked at her, but most of them shook their heads.  "Okay, so we have children who have popped in who are running around without a guardian, guys.  We've got to find them before they get hurt, or something!"

"Which direction are we searching, sir?" Luna asked, looking calm and placid as usual.  Even if she didn't blink.

"You go check the front halls, you...ladies check the classrooms.  Miss Weasley, are you forcing me to add you as well?" he sneered when she walked closer.

"No, sir, but I think I know who I can call to get some extra help," she admitted.  "Let me do that.  Where did they start out?"

"Probably in my office."  The ladies of Hufflepuff, plus their two kinda-adopted members ran out nibbling rolls and the like to find those children.  Little babies shouldn't wander about in the school, it was dangerous.  Those who remembered everyone turning into babies remembered how close a few of them came to falling down stairs, being eaten by something of Hagrid's, or just getting lost in the mazes of hallways.

Ginny rushed for the nearest floo she knew went outside the school, going to call Ron.  "Ron, do you know where Harry's map is?" she asked when his yawning head popped up in the fireplace.  "We need it desperately to find someone.  I remember hearing you say you could find anyone on it when you were avoiding Hermione the last time."

Ron popped his neck then nodded.  "Kinda, why?  Harry's got a game this morning.  I'm about to go over there now."  He yawned again.  "Why?"

"We've got some lost kids."

"Oh.  Let me look, Ginny.  I'll send it over if I find it.  Give me a few, I think it's at Alex's in our stuff there."  He signed off and started a new call, heading over there.  He heard the squealing and sighed.  Looks like the twins had talked Alex into babysitting after all.  He found the map and rolled it up, sending it back through the floo to his sister, then he went to the game.  He was a bit late, but hey, it was only 10-30 against Harry's team.  They still had time to win.

Ginny caught the roll of parchment and looked around before unrolling it and pulling her wand.  "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good."  She tapped the corner of the parchment, watching as it lit up.  She checked all the names, but there wasn't anyone listed as 'Sanders' and there weren't any unlisted dots.  She did find Professor Snape and headed down to show him.  "Professor!" she yelled when she got closer.  She handed over the map.  "They're not here, sir."

He snatched the parchment from her hands, looking at it. "What is this?" he demanded.

"Harry's," she said, pointing helpfully.  "See, there we are.  There's no notation of the children on it, sir."  He grimaced but allowed that it looked to be correct.  She took it back and stuffed it into her pocket.  "Have you told the Headmaster?"

"Not yet.  I'll do that.  I want to see that again later, Miss Weasley."

"Sir, you'd have to ask Harry's permission.  I'm only borrowing it," she said sheepishly, backing away slowly.  She turned and ran.  She sent the map back to the Burrow, still active, trusting someone there could turn it off.  Then she ran to her first class, grabbing Luna on her way.  "They're not here.  Call off the search."

"Dawn, they're not here, we checked the map!" Luna yelled.

"Ladies, we can't find them," Dawn yelled.  "We're checking other locations.  Thanks for the help!"

"Welcome, Dawnie!" one of them called back, and they headed for their classes.  "We'll see you tonight!"

Snape listened to the hyper young women as they chatted and ran off, nodding at the ones who ran pat him.  He went to call Greg back, shaking his head.  "They're not in the school, Gregory.  Miss Weasley came up with a map of some sort that showed the entire school and they weren't on it.  Where else could they be?"

"Alex's?" he said, looking confused.  "But I thought I only made one blanket to there."  He shook his head.  "Never mind.  They're both coming to the school as soon as I get them back," he said grimly.  "Thanks, Severus.  Have a good class day."   His head disappeared and he looked at his wife and friend.  "They're not at the school.  So I guess they did go to Alex's."  He picked up the phone, dialing the house again.  "Alex, it's Greg, again."

***

The Weasley twins were woken gently by kisses.  They smiled at the person kissing them even before they opened their eyes.  When they did open their eyes, they found their wife staring down at them.  "What's...."

"Going on?" the other finished.

"Oliver's asleep down in the library," she said blandly.  "The twins are missing."

"The older ones?" one of them asked hopefully.

She shook her head.  "Both sets."

"Then the older ones are going to be grounded," the other noted, sitting up.  He stole a deep kiss, making her hum and grin stupidly at him.  The other pulled her down to get one of his own. It was nearly enough to make them forget about the kids being missing.  Nearly.

She pulled back and looked around.  "As nice as this is, our babies are wandering around with their infant siblings. Shouldn't we be stopping them?"

"Probably," one agreed.

"In a minute," the one on his back noted.   He pulled her down for another kiss.

It lasted until Oliver screamed.

"Coming!" they yelled in unison.

***

Alex looked out the window, then started to swear at Greg for having children and for tormenting them with them.  How could he run around and pounce his mate with children there!  His swearing went over the link, going right to Greg's arm, his mind, and to Tipsy's mind since she was still so open.  His rant was unbroken for a good, long stretch of time and even Ron would have been impressed by some of the words he knew and used.   He turned away from the window and brutally cut contact, going down to try to get the babies again.  This time the foals got up and guarded the foursome, horns ready to stab him.

"Hey, don't do that," Draco ordered.  "He simply wants to get the children so they can be changed and the like.  Human children need such attention," he noted as he walked out.  The mother unicorn glared at him and gently licked across one of the baby's face.   There was no getting close to them and a few more unicorns were coming up.

"Damn it, I want Des right about now," Alex muttered, going to whine in the kitchen.  Maybe if his Aunt Cordy were here she could make them give up the babies but she was with his father on his trip around the globe to look for more family members.  What an inconvenient time to find love!

Tipsy and the twins stepped out of the fireplace, looking at him.  "Twins?" she asked.

"Two of them are presently nursing on a unicorn," he said bitterly.  "The other two and Cassandra are torturing a house elf by making it play ring-around-the-rosie until it pukes."

"Our older ones are so great," one of the elder twins sniffed, wiping off his eye.

"Boys, let's go find the older ones first.  The unicorns can handle the younger for now."

"That's good because I can't get near them," Alex said with mock fondness, saluting them with his present cup of tea.  "I hate children.  I don't like anyone's kids.  I'm not babysitting and I want to pounce my mate.  I can't do that with your spawn here."

"Forgive him, he didn't get morning sex," Draco said as he walked in.

"Or evening sex, you were sleeping," Xander said bitterly, heading back to his lab to blow something up.  He didn't care if he was pouting, he didn't like kids!   He had Snape, wasn't that enough?

Draco looked at the amused parents.  "The three older ones and the nauseous house elf are on the side lawn outside the dining room.  We could call breakfast and bring them in."

The parents went outside, the mother going to get the older kids and the younger twins trying to figure out how to get their other ones.  A pouting Alex was a pitiful sight, even to them.   The unicorns formed a wall against them too.

"Hey now!" one complained.

"Two of those are ours!"

The mother nursing them glared at them.

"Oh, don't you dare," Tipsy said as she walked back the older kids.  "You can't keep them, mother.  They're mine and Emilia's.  We had to give birth to them so you can't feed them for us."  She glared at them, and only shifted when the three older kids toddled in to curl up with them.  It was time for a rest, they were dizzy and tired from playing.  "Cassandra, get out here now and bring your brothers," she ordered.  The girl spit at her.  "Now, Cassandra."

"No!  My brovers!  They soft and pretty, likes to pet, Auntie.  We loved by them too!"

"Oh, dirt," one of the Weasley twins sighed.

"Indeed.  Help, dear?"

"Yeah, let's get some help."  She touched her arm, bringing everyone running who was nearby.  Philip, Methos, Ron complained but he came too, and a few of the older members who had been shopping or in London for meetings.  "As you can see, the unicorns have the children trapped."

Ron snorted.  "I can't help with that," he noted, going back to the game.   He managed to sit down just as Harry did a spectacular dive off his broom to catch the snitch, wincing as he landed on the ground.  "Ow, Harry," he whined.  He grinned and waved, getting a nod back at the changing area and a wink in return.

Philip slowly moved closer, but the foals stopped him.  "I'm not that unpure," he assured them.  "We just need the human children.  They're not foals.  They need changed and stuff."  He could smell one of them so he knew it was a necessity.   "C'mon, I can be nice and gentle like.  Just let me in to get them."  The foals shifted together to block his path.  He backed away quickly when one of them tried to stab him, hurrying back to the group.  "Sorry, they don't seem to like me."

"You have to be *really* pure to work with the foals," Alex said from the doorway, glaring at the beasts.  "I don't like you," he noted.  "Get off the back lawn, go back to your herd lands, and behave."  The mother let out a whinnying laugh, which made him growl.  His hand itched for his wand but Draco had stolen it earlier.   He stomped inside, going to find something to throw at them, or a sword, or a crossbow, he wasn't sure which one he'd find first.  But it would be used.

The other Banes tried but with less success than Philip had.  They couldn't get close enough to them to smell the children.

Draco watched this amusing exercise in frustration, then got a bright idea.  He went to call Snape personally.  "Old man," he said genially.  "We need Miss Weasley to come release some children from the unicorn herd.  They've seemingly adopted the children.  They've been nursing the younger ones so far."  Snape's mouth fell open.  "Indeed.  But they need changed and Alex's in one of his 'need sex' moods so he's miserable and snappy at the moment.  I'd like to clear everyone out of here so we can deal with that, but then again, there's a herd of unicorns in the garden."

"I'll bring her immediately," he said, his lips pressed together to keep from laughing.  He went to find her, finding her outside finally.  "Miss Weasley," he hissed as he got close enough for her to hear.  "You are needed at home to release the newest pets from your...charges."

"Again?"

"Again what?" Hagrid asked.

"The unicorns at Alex's house have taken to adopting things.  They've recently adopted a kitten and the tainted one seems to have adopted Luna and Wesley.  Who have they got now?  Taunting Alex by not letting him near Draco?"

"No, they're presently nursing the children we were looking for earlier," he said sarcastically.  She winced and shook her head with a sigh, following him back to the floo to send herself there.

"Those'll be some powerful kids," Luna said in appreciation.  "I'm sure they'll be a credit to the school."  The other students looked at her like she was insane, again.  She shrugged.  "Unicorn milk is very pure.  It's also something that can strengthen an already powerful wizard or make a weaker one feel better.  They're going to be some powerful wizards."

Hagrid nodded.  "She's right.  The last little one nursed on unicorn milk was Dumbledore."

"Actually, Alex said that his sister Katya had been nursed partially on unicorn cream.  He said she refused to eat normal milk from their mother.  And of course he drinks a lot of it in his tea."

Hagrid grinned at her.  "Good on him!  He'll need it to deal with his consort and Ron."  The kids in the class broke out in giggles.  They had no doubt he'd need his strength to get between those two.

***

Ginny came rolling out of the floo and stood up to dust herself off as she walked.  "Hey!" she complained when the foals tried to menace her.  She shoved one's head out of her way.  "Try it again, become a rug," she said, staring him down.  He slunk back, taking his spot back beside the babies.  "Nice try," she snorted.  She walked around the others gathered near there.  "They nearly done yet?  Their parents want them back now."  She crossed her arms, staring at the mother.  "If you're that full, feed one of the ones who needs adopting!  We've got that one up at the school who I've been bottle feeding.  You can have him back if you want."  The mother let out a soft whinny so she bent down to rub noses with her.  "You're fine, but they're worried parents too.  They'd like their kids back now.  Besides, they need cleaned.  They smell."  The mother nosed one of the twins sucking on her and then nosed Ginny to take them.  "Thanks, momma 'corn.  Come up to the school with me.  I'll gladly let you have the baby back.  Though you might have to put up with the baby dragon too."  She nudged Ginny again and stood up, watching as the children were gently handed back to worried parents.  Cassandra and her brothers were handed to Philip, Severus, and Methos, who took them back to Vegas with the blanket they had all been on.

"Finally!" Alex shouted, pulling Draco closer to kiss him.  Draco, of course, went limp against him.  What other response was there to such an assault on his lips by such a talented partner?

The other Banes shared a look as their rutting drove the remaining unicorns off, and Ginny climbed up onto the mother's back to ride her back down to the herd, leading the foals back to their normal mothers.  Then she and the mother took off across the countryside to head to the school.  She could get an excused absence for that.  Right?

***

Methos put his twin into his crib and stepped out of the way so Severus could get the one he carried in there as well.  They turned to find the parents behind them.  "Cassandra is heading for her room," Methos noted.  "They were fed unicorn milk."

"Alex fed them tea?" Emilia asked.

"No, the mother unicorn decided to nurse them," Methos said dryly, smirking at them.  Greg's face lit up and he rushed over to hug them.  "Enough!"

"Control yourself, Gregory," Snape sighed, pushing him away.  "Their futures are still to be seen."

"Besides, they were feeding the Weasley's latest batch too," Methos noted.  "Plus your daughter had a taste too and she tried to nurse but the mother decided she was weaned."

Emilia shook her head.  "I'll watch for funny output from their diapers."  Snape gave her an odd look.  "In case you've never seen diapers, they're all odd but some of them are very, very nasty.  I'm guessing unicorn milk wouldn't agree with their stomachs."  She wandered back to her bed, needing a rest now that the dangerous stuff was over with.  She was still worn out from the birth.

Methos looked at Greg.  "Just be careful with them for the next little while.  They may crave it so you may have to mix some creme into their usual milk."

"They're eating off their mother," he pointed out with a grin.  He loved to watch his kids eat their mother.

"Then you'll figure it out," Snape decided.  "Cassandra appeared to be dizzy and tired.  Someone had mentioned her torturing a house elf by making it play with her and Tipsy's horrible older set.  We've got to get back to work."

"Thanks, guys," he said, hugging them both again.  "If you need me, or them, yell and we'll come running."  They nodded patiently and left, both of them smoothing the wrinkles out of their robes.

"Greg, need anything for them?" Blair called from the hallway before peeking in.  "Cassandra's been tucked in and she's taking a nap."

"We'll need to get some more diapers soon but they'll be fine," he said, grinning down at his kids.  "They were being nursed by a unicorn mother."

"Oh, that is so cool!" Blair said, coming in to hug him.  "I'm so stoked for your kids, man.  That's a great omen."

"I'm still mad at you," Greg said with a grin for him.  "Go find diapers and clean up the mess you made, Sandburg."

"Sure, man, become like Jim," he agreed with a grin.  "I've already straightened up Cassandra's room and started a load of wash."  He took Greg's wallet and went to get him some more diapers from the store on the corner.  "Hi," he said as he walked in.  He had been here many times.  They all knew him by now.

"I think it's so neat that you gay guys have adopted kids," the clerk said with a grin.

Blair paused then shook her head. "I'm just the stand-in nanny," he explained.  "Greg's got a wonderful woman."

"Ooh, and a liberal guy too!" she said happily.  "Well, then, I hope you find a nice gay guy of your own to raise lots of little babies with, Blair.  You're obviously good at it."  She took the bags he picked out, ringing him up.  "How are the adorable twins you brought in last time?"

"Just fine.  They just visited with an uncle and are now napping off the stress of being admired by his pets."  She giggled and took his money, handing him back the change. "Thanks."  He took the diapers back to the house, mentally shaking his head.  "Hey, Greg. I just convinced the check-out girl at the local store that we're not together and raising little gay babies," he called as he walked in.

"Sandburg!" he yelled.

Blair sniffed.  "I miss that sound," he admitted.  Greg came jogging down the stairs.  "I convinced her I was the nanny.  She hopes that I find a nice gay man to raise many baby Sandburgs with."

Greg got a sudden image of those kids and shuddered.  "As long as none of them try to date mine," he noted, going back to his car.  It was over with, he had to make up the rest of his shift.  By the time he got back to the station, that image was firmly stuck in his head.  He walked past his boss shaking his head.  "The unicorns loved them, they were feeding the twins," he noted.  "Blair just got told to have lots of little Sandburgs with whoever he finally settles with.  Please, promise me that you won't let them date?" he whined.

Grissom gave his back a look, then quickly shook his head.  He didn't want to know.  He really didn't want to know.  At least not yet. He looked at Warrick as he walked past him.  "Have you ever had one of those conversations where your head hurts afterward?"

"Yes, and Greg seems to have caused a number of them," he admitted.  "Why?"

"His kids are fine.  The unicorns liked them and were feeding them?  And Sandburg was told to settle down to have many baby Sandburgs, who Greg doesn't want to date his?"

"That's a scary thought.  Little tiny Blairs getting together with Cassandra and her innate sense of trouble."  He walked away shaking his head.

Catherine noticed this speech but hadn't been close enough to hear what was going on.  "Greg?" she asked Grissom.  He nodded and walked on.  "It usually is," she sighed, going to remind Greg not to give them nightmares.  When she heard what had been going on, mostly because he was still muttering it while he worked on something, she too walked away shaking her head.  She'd hear the whole story from Tipsy later.

Brass stopped her in the hallway.  "You're wearing an expression like you just got Greg'd," he said with a smirk.

"His kids are fine.  They managed to send themselves to Alex's earlier, where some unicorns were playing with them and feeding them.  Then Sandburg was told to have many baby Blairs, who Greg is worried might like his."

Brass shuddered.  He remembered Sandburg a bit too well at the moment.  "I hope not.  Those would be some horrible children."  She laughed and nodded.  "Anyone else walking around in a fog?"

"Grissom and Warrick."

"Oh, goodie," he said dryly.  "We've got a heads-up on a new case that won't be happening until next summer.  Ritual cannibalism in a religious ceremony using a single child in offering."

"Grissom was headed back to his office," she offered.  "I don't want to know."  He nodded wisely, going to warn him and hand over the file that had been sent to him personally by Vecchio.  Some of this cult's people had moved their way so he was warning them.  He tapped on the door and walked in.  "We've got a future case in warning," he said in greeting, handing it over.

Grissom looked it over.  "Interesting."

***

Aunt Cordy and Alex's father walked out of the house together, wandering out to where Alex was tainting more of the garden so the unicorns couldn't come up and play next to the house.  "Son," he sighed.  "The unicorns have just as much right to the garden as you do."

Draco looked over at him, stopping his moving to push back his hair.  "They kidnaped some children earlier," he panted, then pinched Alex, making him go faster.  They both got off and curled up together to look at the parental figures of the household.  "Sorry, we couldn't wait."

"No, that's fine," Aunt Cordy said, smiling at them. "You two are a joy to behold most of the time."  She smiled at Alex.  "Son, we've got someone you simply have to meet."

"Indeed," his father agreed, nodding.  "Someone quite interesting though."

"That sounds scarily like someone messed up their birth control charms for the second time in history," Luna offered with a giggle.  She had been watching, they hadn't cared and it had been quite a good show.

Draco looked back at her. "I'm telling Dawn you watch," he said smugly.

"Poo, you're no fun," she sighed, going back to class.  It had been better than Herbology.

"Oh, shit," Alex sighed, putting his head back down.  "Draco, can't you kill me one of these times?"

Draco bit him hard, making him scream.  "No, I can't," he said dryly.  "Behave or be on the bottom next time."

Family Banes

Xander looked the group gathered around.  "Why are we all here again?"

"Because you're getting ready to leave again and this way we get to bother you before you go," Greg said, playing with his sons on the rug.  "Also, cheap babysitting."

"Sure, I guess we can do that," Alex agreed.  "Anything else planned?"

"No, just visiting and taking a day free of things."  Tipsy looked at her boys, then at her husbands. "There's something to be said for taking a day off and letting the shop's helpers do the work today."  She waved a hand around.  "That and the kids will quit whining for a few hours."

"That's why I never wanted to have kids," Xander said dryly.

"Son?" his father called.

"Watching the kids chew on each other," he called.  His father walked in and he gave him a bored look.  "Is there a problem?"

"Yes, son.  I believe we need to finish our talk from the other day," he said dryly.

"Sorry, dad.  Guys, the father thinks I may have messed up my birth control for the *second* time in history."  They all clapped and smirked at him.  "Fortunately she's older than Sev is and has grandkids already, all of which are named Dumass."

"Yes!" Draco said happily.  "Now we don't have to have any!"

"Fat chance," Xander's father said slowly and clearly.  "Cordy is looking forward to having babies in the house again.  That's why she let you all come up and told you to bring the babies."  He flicked his son on the ear.  "Now, son."

"Coming, dad."  He got free of Draco's head on his shoulder and stood up, stretching briefly before following his father out for the discussion of doom.  "Are you sure?"

"Yes, son.  Your grandson looks exactly like you," he said patiently.  He walked him into his study, closing the door behind him.  "Son, sit."

"Yes, dad."  He sat down, letting his hands rest on his stomach and his ankles cross as he slumped down.  "So, what's she like?"

"She's very nice, son.  You'll like her a lot when you meet her later tonight."  Xander raised an eyebrow.  "Yes, son.  She is part of the family.  She is your daughter.  You shall meet with her and get along with her."

"I have no problem getting along with people most of the time.  Any other complications I should know in advance?"

"Well, she does have a daughter about Ron and Harry's age.  She's very nice."

"And if she's my granddaughter then that makes her Harry's first cousin, father," he said patiently.

"I wasn't going to suggest it, son," he sighed.  He sat down behind the desk.  "Actually, she thinks that she might want to follow you into the field."

"Into curse breaking?" he asked flatly.  His father nodded.  "Is she a trouble magnet?"

"She is and she's very powerful.  Quite the witch."

"Okay, and they're coming over when?"

"Later this afternoon.  That way you can introduce her to the others if she wants."  He smiled gently.  "I'm sure you'll like each other quite a lot."

"The Banes are invitation only, dad.  If they like her, they'll let her in.  Otherwise they'll be polite enough to her I guess.  I know the ladies will.  Thankfully Emilia's back to normal and not being a flighty, seductive thing anymore."

"Oh, I'm sure she'd understand," his father said wisely.  His son raised an eyebrow.  "Her former husband knew your friend Rupert quite well I understand."

"She was married to Ethan?"

"No, not that I'm aware of.  Just a regular Watcher I'm afraid."

"Are they after her kids?"  His father nodded.  "Then I'll kick their asses and make them cry," he said simply.  "Anything else I should know?"

"Her second child is not a squib."

"She's a normal?"

"She's adopted.  She was left on their doorstep.  She is a potential Slayer."

"Fuck if they're getting her," Xander snorted.

"She's a bit too old for that, son," he said patiently.  "She's nearly twenty-five.  The oldest daughter is over thirty and expecting her first child any day now.  That's why we had to delay the meeting.  Her doctor didn't want her to travel for a few days."

"Understood.  I'm about to become a great-grandfather.  Well, it's good that someone carried on the family name," he said with a big grin.  "Saves me from doing it again."  He stood up.  "Anything else?"

"Son, you're being an idiot.  Draco would make a wonderful father."

"Dad, he's nineteen.  I'm twenty.  I don't want to be a father and I'd be a shitty father.  I know myself," he said when his father opened his mouth.  "I would have ruined them by raising them on the road while I was working.  I didn't make it home for years at a time.  I have no patience.  I yell, I used to drink, and I was the original slut in my former life.  That's not how you raise a kid.  I made a conscious decision not to have children very early on.  I hate kids, even when I was a kid.  I'm not bringing a child knowingly into this world.  Accidents happen.  Sev proves that each and every day he's drawn breath."

His father nodded.  "I understand that, son, but you're not as bad as you think."

"Dad, I know myself better than most people do.  Being alone for years does that for one.  Especially when you can only depend on yourself and you've got sixteen years to brood about what you used to be.  Feel lucky I'm not the asshole I was back there.  I could easily have rivaled Lucius' attitude some years about my own importance."  He pushed back his hair.  "Now, I have nothing against meeting her and getting to know her.  I have nothing at all against that.  She wasn't planned and I don't hold that against her, her kids, or the upcoming great-grandchild. There will never be planned ones coming from my body with my permission however.  Aunt Cordy needs to accept that.  I don't care how much Grandma Des wanted it.  Get Harry to have a passel of kids."

His father nodded.  "That's fine, son.  If you change your mind you can do that and I won't say a word."

"Thanks. By the way, we're going to be gone for most of the holidays.  We might be taking a week off around the holidays but nothing else."  His father frowned at him.  "We're excavating a city, dad.  We're going to be in Northern Iran for the next four months.  We're leaving in a few days actually."

"Fine, son.  We'll plan to hold everything all together."

"Oh, please, no ball," he moaned.

"Tough, son."

"Fine.  I'll talk Draco into taking a date then."  He rolled his eyes as he walked out, shaking his head when he saw Philip.  "Draco, you're going to have to find a date for the family ball around the holidays.  I refuse.  I don't want to be pouted at by half the world's women."  He walked outside, slamming the door so he could go find something to do.

Draco looked out toward the door, then at Greg, who had been eavesdropping.  "Something bad happen?"

"His new daughter is showing up.  She's old enough to be a grandmother shortly.  His father nagged him about children and they'll be compressing the holiday rituals to the single week you'll have off.  He said you'd have to find a date."

"I'll take him on the floor," Draco said dryly, lounging again.  "Grandchildren?"

"Great-grandchild," Fred corrected with a smirk.

"Shit," Draco sighed.  "I'm sure he's having a bloody wonderful day then."

"Draco, swear in front of the children again and I'm paddling you," Emilia assured him, glaring at him.  "They don't need that sort of language."

He snickered.  "You're a wonderful mum, cousin, but I'm not your child.  I am an adult."

"And children are parrots," Tipsy agreed. "They'll all be talking just like you for years."

"The only thing I know about children is that they're trained like the beasts they are and that they don't need leashes," he said honestly.

"Well, they don't *need* them," Greg said with a smirk, "but they're very handy when they're out in public and prone to running like 'San is."

"You put a collar on her?" Draco asked, wrinkling his nose up.

"No, baby leashes come with chest harnesses.  Like the sort they use in kinky sex," George told him.

"That's an image I did not need," Severus noted dryly.  "Please quit now, before I feel the need to take points from your sister Monday morning."

"Then Luna would do something mean," Greg reminded him with a grin.

"Fortunately they'll be leaving soon," Severus reminded him.  "I'll be retired by the time these Weasleys need to be educated.  Do have fun with them."

"That's one way to make sure 'San goes to Hogwarts," Tipsy said with a smirk.  "That good with you, Greg?"

"Fine with me," he agreed happily.  "Of course, our kids will be masters by the time they get in there."

Emilia leaned over and patted him on the back.  "No more dynastic plans, Greg."

"None needed," he assured her with a grin.  "I've got everything I ever wanted and the rest within my grasp."

"Plus, if Snape isn't there, you'll be the head of Slytherin," Draco pointed out.  Snape gave him an odd look.  "Who'd take over if it wasn't you?  I didn't think there were many of us teaching."

"There's not," he admitted.  "Sinestra is the only one I know of."

"So he'll be the new head of Slytherin," Draco repeated with a grin.

"That would be a great job," Emilia agreed with a grin.  "I can just see him dealing with the problematic darlings at four in the morning by giving them a Grissom-ism."  She swatted at her husband again when he laughed.  "Or teach them by using Sarah as a lesson."

"She is kinda one of those," he agreed happily.  "It wouldn't bother me at all," he assured Severus.  "I might be the most cheerful Head of House we've ever had but I'd be good at it.  It'd be liking having a really big family."

"By that time, Parkinson's future child would be in there as well," Ron pointed out from his seat in the corner with Dawn in his lap.  "I saw her yesterday on the way to check on Harry.  She's about as big as couch now."

"I didn't know she was dating," Draco said, looking over at him.  "Did she say anything about a father?"

"She stuffed her nose higher in the air and stomped off when I noticed her," he said dryly.  "She'd never talk to me."  He smirked at him.   "She was walking around with a pickle covered with strudel icing.  Strawberry icing."

Draco shuddered.  "That's nasty."

"Oh, she's in for some fun still," Emilia said smugly, looking at Tipsy.  "She's about halfway through, wouldn't you say?"

"Probably just about.  My cravings went away at seven months though."

"Yes, but yours were reasonable," one of the twins noted.

"If you had eaten things like that we would have gotten sick," the other agreed, grinning at her.  "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," she said coyly, smirking at them.  "Why?"

"Because the laundry was done," one offered.

"We changed the bed."

"Hung up all the clothes."

"Folded the special outfits."

"Put the good pillows on the bed again."

"Put the baby monitor in Oliver's apartment."

"Enough, boys, I think she gets the picture," Snape said, rolling his eyes.  "How do you put up with them?"

"Easy, they're very sweet.   That saves me hours of work and all they want is some attention."  She looked at her boys.  "Boys, can I have your help finding something in the library?"  They grinned and followed her, taking her from the library and carrying her up the stairs.

Emilia looked up as Tipsy let out a shriek.  "Sounds like their hard work was rewarded.  That reminds me, we've got to do laundry when we get home."

"I had Sandburg do it since he was hanging around," Greg said smugly, wiggling his eyebrows.  "I've got tonight off. You've got tonight off.  Wanna dirty up the bedroom again?"

"That was weak, Sanders," Draco said smugly.  "Try better."  He looked at his cousin.  "Doesn't he usually do better?"

"Yes, but I've been on my cycle and he's been miserable," she said, staring down at her husband.  "I'd run if I were you."  He got up and took off running.   She gave them a smug look.  "Don't let them eat each other and don't let Joxer strip 'San again," she ordered as she got up to chase her husband.  He was going to be tired by the time she got done with him.

Tipsy's older set of twins looked at the remaining adults, then cackled and started to strip off.  "Enough," Snape ordered quietly.  They looked at him and smirked, then worked on their siblings, then Cassandra.

"Guys, if you continue that you can't play with the unicorns and Ginny," Ron said firmly.  They pouted.  "Tough shit.  Dress again or else."  Cassandra and the twins got dressed, letting the adults get the other ones.

Cassandra crawled up in Draco's lap, grinning at him.  "You read?"

"Yes, I do read," he assured her, patting her on the back.  "Would you like me to read to you?"  She nodded, still grinning.  "Then ask politely."

"Please read me?" she asked sweetly.

"Yes, I will.  Weasel, toss over a book."

Ron picked one up and tossed one like a frisbee.  "Quit calling me that or I'm going to make a hair-eliminating potion and pour it all over you while you sleep."  Draco snorted.  "Dawn has one ready for her legs."

"If you did that, Xander would get you," Draco said smugly.

"He might like you hairless.  It's supposed to make you more sensitive," Ron said smugly.  "He'll thank me.  You'll be scratching for weeks as it grows back."

"Enough, children.  I get enough of this at the school."

"The rest of this year and you'll have no more Weasleys until Joxer and Iolaus grow up," Draco reminded him.

"I'll be celebrating that fact the day after the train leaves," Snape agreed, smirking at him.  "Professors Flitwick, McGonagall, and I have all planned to have a party in fact."

"You'll still have years of Dawn left," Ron offered with a bright grin.

"Don't remind me," he answered, making Ron and Draco both snicker at that.

Xander came back in.  "Did the parents take off and forget their kids?"

"They're having sex," Draco said, grinning up at him.  "We're discussing plans for when the last Weasley leaves school for ten years of sanity."

"That's okay, I've been offered a chance to come fill in for Flitwick now and then.  Dumbledore said that I could easily teach all the charms lessons that were needed.  He suggested that it's probably either that or we'd have to start a cult."  He flopped back down.  "Dad still sulking in the office?"  Snape nodded.  "Decent enough.  I just saw your half-sister arrive in the garden with her family.  Lots and lots of family."

"She has children?" Snape asked.

"Six girls, one boy, one brand-new baby in one mom's arm and about four little kids running around happily squealing about the unicorns."

"So we really don't need to have children," Draco said happily.

"Are any of them coming to Hogwarts?" Snape asked, nearly dreading the answer.

"Ask her, not a clue," Xander said dryly.  He looked back as his father came into the room.  "Was that her?"

"It was Maria.  Come, son."  He looked up, looking alarmed at the shrieking going on upstairs.  "What was that?"

"Either that was Tipsy and the twins or we've got a few banshees having an orgy with a few sirens."  Xander stood up and trudged back to the office, nodding when he walked in.  "Hey."  He sat down, looking at the older woman.  "Hi."

"Hi."  She smiled.  "Let's save some of the awkwardness.  My mother was Morlina Carts, out of Sweden. You met in Holland.  Spent a good week together while you were healing from something trying to chew your leg off.  It was about forty years ago?"

He frowned and pulled down the book for that last name, finding her in the index.  "Oh, her."  He closed it and nodded.  "Sorry.  Did she not ever think to tell me?"

"She did.  She said she sent the message to Gringott's a few times.  You never answered."

"Huh.  Sounds like I'm going to get a goblin upside the head later.  Any idea which one?"

"The one you forward mail through?" she suggested.

"Huh.  Yeah, I think I know which one.  He's in Paris.  We'll be talking later," he assured her with a grin.  "I'm sorry."

"That's okay.   Not your fault if that's the case," she promised.  She relaxed.

"I'm sorry.   This is only the second time I've met one of my kids and the other one announced it on a battlefield."  That made her laugh.  "So, we'll be awkward, then get over it and at least become cordial."  Her daughter, the one with the infant, burst out in giggles.  "It's true," he assured her.  "I have nothing against kids that came to be by accident, but I never would have planned one.  I'd have made a sucky father."  He looked at his new daughter. "You would've hated being in the field with me."

"That's probably true," she agreed, smiling at him.  "So.  You look very young."

"I was deaged.  It was a curse," he sighed.  "It sucked.  I regrew up in Sunnydale without any magic or contact with the magical community."

"How?" the youngest daughter asked.

"That's a matter of debate," he admitted bitterly.  "Some people thought it was a dark curse but the magic around it was very pure and gathered during Summer Solstice at Stonehenge.  So I have an idea but he's denying it."  She looked at him in awe.  "Oh, your half-brother is in the living room.  Sev wanted to know if any of you are transferring into Hogwarts."

"Not that we've got planned," the youngest daughter offered with a shy grin.  "So, you're Alex Dumass."

"So they tell me."

She giggled.  "This is really awkward."

He nodded.  "It is.  I'm sorry.  If I had known, I would have been there."

"That's okay. My mother was fairly happy with having me and not having to marry some stupid wizard who'd force her to be a weak homemaker.  Unfortunately she died a few years back or she'd be here too."

"I'm sorry to hear that.  She was good to me when I was healing."

"She was always like that."  She shifted in her seat.  "So, you sent your father out to find the rest of the family?"

"No, he decided to do that.  He took Aunt Cordy, my mother's sister, and took off to find the missing family and my screw-ups of the fertility spell."  The daughters laughed.  "I tried so hard not to have kids," he sighed.  "It's nothing against you."

"No, I understand.  This is awkward.  We don't want anything from you but we did want to meet you so the children could get to know part of their heritage."  He grinned at her for that.  "So, this is Emily, who is a potential slayer, Teiana, Trisha, and Mary."  She pointed at the other group.  "That's Misery, Colleen, Ed, and my son Charles."

Xander waved a hand.  "Hi.  You can call me Alex if you want."  He smiled at Misery and Ed.  "Use names?"

"I changed mine to go with my profession," Misery told him.  "I deal with problems of the mind."

"I'm working on wizard and muggle interactions," Ed told him.

"Cool.  You'd probably like Ron's dad then.  He works in Muggle Affairs or something like that at the Ministry."  He grinned at them. "Since you're family then I'm sure you'll be seeing a lot of the house.  Want a tour?"  They nodded so he stood up.  "Okay, this is the official study, where we deal with the bills and things."  He walked them out, opening the door across from them.  "The library, or most of it.  Some of it's in what used to be my study, but that's mostly the Dark Arts collections that I use for curse breaking."  Teiana moaned in pleasure.  He grinned at her.  "Dad said you wanted to follow me into the field.  We'll talk about that later."  He winked and walked them on, waving at the people in the living room.  "Okay.  Sev, this is Maria.  Maria, Sev is your half-brother.  He's a great Potions master and works at Hogwarts.  Ron, the redhead, is one of my apprentices.  The blond on the couch is Draco, my consort and apprentice.  Ron, get with Teiana and me later.  She wants to go into the field and you can give good horror stories from our summer vacation."

"Vacation is putting it mildly," Draco said sarcastically.  "Life-threatening excursions to pretty places with stupid people is a better description."

"Sounds like fun," Teiana offered with a grin.  "Hi."

"Hi," Ron said with a grin.  "We'll be in here babysitting."  They nodded and Xander led them off, taking them through the house, ending up in the kitchen.  When they came back to the living room, Alex had a big tray, which he put on the table.  "The house elves are scared of the kids.  If you want drinks, go ahead and get them," he ordered.  He looked over as Emilia and Greg came back.  "No nap?"

"I'm not tired," Emilia said smugly.  She found the mother and held out a hand.  "Emilia Sanders."

"Maria Dumass.  My mother made sure I carried my father's name."  She shook her hand.  "Are the children yours?"

"The twin boys and the older girl with blonde hair," she said proudly.

"You mean the naked one who just tried to see if Ron was lactating?" Ron asked, holding up her daughter.  "Here, have fun explaining why boys don't breastfeed, I couldn't."

"Only girls can do that," Greg told her, making her pout.  "And only when they've had babies."  He sat down with her in his lap.  "She's fascinated with her mom feeding her baby brothers."

"Hey, it's better than her portkeying in with her baby brothers and being kidnaped by the unicorns," Draco reminded him.

Maria looked at Alex.  "You really do lead an interesting life."

"They appeared while we were sleeping.  The house elves woke us up and 'San had called her friends, the other sets of twins, to come play.  The unicorns took over the infants and the others ran a few house elves ragged."  He sat down beside Draco, kissing him on the cheek.  "Did you finish your shopping for the upcoming job?"

"Nearly.  I need to finish doing the potions we'll be bringing.  How many bags are we bringing?"  Xander gave him an odd look.  "I meant besides our two packs each?"

"We'll be bringing a few crates of food, tents, fold-up stools, things like that. Why?"

"I was going to bring a fully stocked potion making bag," he offered.  "Are we bringing water jugs as well?"

"Sure am.  They're being sent by the goblins.  Speaking of, I've got to head to Paris later.  Remind me?"

"As long as you help me to make sure I don't forget anything in my kit," Draco agreed with a smirk.

"Fine with me."  Xander snuggled into his side.  "So, Teiana, do you have any area of speciality?  Any part of the field that interests you most?"

"I like doing the artifact research," she admitted.  "I like looking at what people find and finding out what it's for.  I wouldn't mind doing the research part of the job on a dig.  I think it'd be fascinating."

"On digs, we do a lot more categorizing," Ron told her.  "Dangerous or not.  The type of artifact it is.  If we can figure out what it is simply then we do that, if not we send it back to be looked over.  Draco does that along with our potions," he offered.

"That's just one way I can help be useful," Draco agreed happily, smirking at her.  "Did he take you down to our workshop?"

"No.  We've got the demonic urns out down there," Xander told him.

"Demonic urns?" Snape demanded.

"Someone sent them to us.  They appeared on the doorstep," Xander explained.  "So we're figuring out what they are and then we're going to hand them over.  Ron hadn't seen a demonic hierarchy marking yet."

"Which is shocking considering how much trouble he used to get into," Snape said, frowning at the young man.  Ron waved and grinned.  "Speaking of trouble.  Where is your cohort?"

"Due home any minute now from an away game," Ron noted.

Xander looked at the clock. "He said it'd probably be dinner and he'd be bringing Oliver and Bear," he reminded him.  "So probably within an hour or so."

"Who won?" Draco asked.  "I was busy doing the herbal shopping."

"Harry did, but they only won by ten points.  It was a three-hour game and both teams were acting very tired.  Oliver was amazing but Bear was about to fall over and Harry was yawning while he was playing.  Even the announcer noted it."

"They've just spent a month on the road, I'm not surprised he's tired," Draco noted.

"He'll be crashing tonight then," Xander said happily.  "I guess that means more dessert for us."  Maria laughed, shaking her head.  "Sorry, but we don't exactly lead the normal life.  We're getting ready to head out on a four-month job in Iran."

"Are you bringing Potter?" Severus asked hopefully.

"Not until the holidays," Xander told him.  "He'll have a month off then.  I might steal him for a weekend now and then if his training schedule allows."

"Off season starts in November," Ron offered.  "We can bring him down then after he's gotten some rest."

"Sure, Ron.  If he can pull himself away from the parties and the Quidditch circuit."

"They have a party circuit?" Draco asked.

"Yup.  There's a lot of them.  It's the basis of coaches asking for trades and things.  They make a lot of deals at them," Xander told him.  "I got invited to a lot of them in my former life."

"Do you consider it a former life?" Maria asked.

Xander considered it, then nodded.  "I do.  I'm not the same arrogant, stupid, asshole that I was then.  I learned patience dealing with a slayer for five years."   Emily gave him a hurt look.  "I worked with Buffy, Faith, and Kendra."  She nodded wisely.

"Buffy, wasn't that the little blonde woman with Rupert?" Maria asked her daughter.

Emily nodded, sipping her drink.  "Yes, it was.  I'm so sorry," she told Xander with a grin.

He smirked and nodded.  "Now you see why my life is different."  She giggled and nodded, smiling at Draco.  "She's a potential."

"Then you've really met Buffy," Draco agreed with a small smirk.  "She's a vampire now.  Her sister Dawn is Ron's girlfriend and we've seen her now and then."

"Fiance," Ron corrected.

"Fine, your betrothed," Draco said snidely.

"Enough," Greg ordered from his comfortable seat, his eyes closed.  "I have to deal with Sarah at home. I don't need similar attitudes among my friends.  Otherwise you can babysit at different times and all by yourself."

"Not if they're going to teach the babies bad words," Emilia snorted.

Ron grinned at her.  "I'll gladly swear more so I don't have to babysit," he offered.

"Fat chance," she said with a smirk.  "Cassandra *loves* you, Ron."

"Better you than me," Draco snickered.  Cassandra pinched him from beside him so he grinned down at her.  "Don't you love Ron more than me?"

"Nope!" she said happily, shaking her head fiercely.

"Blast," Draco muttered.  Xander patted him on the back.  "Are you sure?  He does a very good job of reading.  He had to learn how to teach his sister."

"No, you nicer," she cooed, then hugged his arm and gave him a big grin.  "Love you."

"Aww.  That's so cute," Ron said with a smirk.

"I will kill you," Draco promised him.  "Someday.  Remember, I can count very high and I'm piling up all your many and varied sins to add to my list."  He smiled down at Cassandra.  "Look, 'San, daddy's napping and the twins are *all* alone on the floor."  She squealed and went to hug the babies.  She loved her brothers!  She laid down between them and hugged them.

"Be nice, boys," Tipsy said as she came back in with a drink.

"Miss a fashion step?" Ron joked.

She looked down, then hitched up her top again.  "Sorry about that.  My twins just jumped me."

"Really?  How old are they?" Teiana asked.

"Twenty tomorrow," she said proudly.  She sat down on Draco's other side.  "'San, don't squeeze them, they'll puke on you.  That'll be nasty in your hair."

"Yes, auntie."  She eased up on them.

"Speaking of twins, where's mine?"

"Probably out back with the unicorns," Xander reminded her.  "I haven't been in here for a while.  Boys?"

"Joxer and Iolaus are hiding behind my chair to be scary monsters.  The others are somewhere," Ron told her with a shrug.

"Aunt Cordy stole them about an hour ago to nuzzle and cuddle," Draco told her.  "We didn't think you'd mind."

"Hell no! Let someone else change diapers for a while," Tipsy agreed happily, making Emilia laugh and nod in support.

"I felt the same way many times," Maria shared.  "I'm Maria."

"The other time I messed up the birth control spell," Xander said.  "Maria, this is Tipsy Ramvette-Weasley.  Wife of the Weasley monsters, er, um, twins," he corrected with a grin. "Speaking of, remember that we need that stuff by next week, Tipsy, love."

"Of course, Alex.  We'd be more than happy to send some stuff to Iran with you, especially if you brag where you got them," she said smugly.  Her twins came in with a plate and drink for her.  "Thank you, boys.  Draco, shove over.  Let them sit around me."

Draco closer to Xander's side, snuggling in.  "Better?"

"Much."  Tipsy smiled at her boys.  "Guys, this is Xander's other family.  Maria is the mom.  Those are her kids, grandkids are running around."

"Hi," the twins said, waving.

"Like pranks?"

"We've got a wonderful shop in Diagon."

"We give family discounts."

Maria held up a hand.  "Don't encourage them, please.  The grandchildren will be horrible."

"But we like horrible," Tipsy said with innocent sweetness.

"It's almost a family tradition," Xander told her.  "Sev, didn't you used to prank?"

"No, I was the butt of them."

"I was that way in Sunnydale, but you didn't do mean things to others?"

"Only to Lucius," he said smugly.  Draco cackled quietly at that.  "He was a whiny ponce."

"He was," Draco agreed, grinning madly at his mentor.  "Did you torture him horribly?"

"Quite often.  I even prompted Potter's bastard father to do it for me."

"Language," Emilia said firmly.

Harry slammed the front door and walked in.  "I'm back!" he yelled.

"We're in here, loud!" Alex called back, just as loud.  "Harry, kids, sleeping."

"Hi, guys.  I'm finally back," Harry said as he walked in.  He paused and blinked a few times, then nodded and grinned at Alex.  "Something you wanted to announce?"

"Maria is my daughter."

"Oh, hey. I'm Harry.  Behind me cowering are Oliver and Bear.  Oliver's a keeper and Bear's a beater.  Do we still have room for dinner?"

"As far as I know," Alex said dryly.  He looked back.  "Hey, guys, come play with the little people before they try to get me again."

Bear came in and sat down on the floor, smiling at the children around him.  "Hello," he said softly, his Russian accent still very thick even though he'd been in England for nearly eight months now.  "Would anyone like read to?"

"You have a pretty voice," one of Maria's granddaughters told him, shifting closer.  "What do you do?"

"I'm a Beater on Harry's team."  He pointed at Harry.  "He's a seeker and I protect him."  She beamed and hugged him.  "Thank you, little one.  May I have a book?"

Ron kicked over the bag, prompting the twins behind him to crawl out and pounce Bear as well.  "Better you than me.  They like you more."

"Dear Merlin, you're a whiny uncle," Tipsy said in disgust.

Ron looked back at her and gave her a goofy grin.  "I haven't seen Dawn in six weeks.  I won't be seeing her again for another month and a half, then we'll be working in the desert.  I'm allowed to be pitiful.  She's even got a game the weekend we leave."

"Fine, I'll go ahead, you guys can come Sunday then," Xander said dryly.  "That way you can watch her play in her first game and you can quit whining.  Better?"

"Me too?" Draco asked.

"If I must," Xander sighed.  "I'll scout the sight first then teach you as you come in.  What are you going to do during the month and a half, Ron?  And then the two months after the holidays?"

"Sulk," he said succinctly.  "Hey, Harry.  You wanna go to the game this weekend with us?"

"I'm going to be at practice," he admitted.  "We've got a game Tuesday and it's against a hard team.  We're lucky we're getting tonight off."

"Season ends soon," Oliver reminded him.  "Next year's a world cup year.  We didn't make it so you'll get time off."

"Yeah, to go to all those parties," Xander snorted.

"Some of us aren't the party boys you used to be," Harry said dryly.  Maria giggled.  "I'm not.  Unless it's mandatory I doubt I'll go to any of them."

"Just don't get eaten on a dig," Oliver said, smirking at him.  "The coaches would have someone bring you back so you could fulfill your contract."  He was pounced and grinned at the little boy.  "Hi, Iolaus.  How are we today?"  His favorite babysitee cackled up at him.  "Good boy, that's the little Weasley monster we're used to."  He picked him up to hug him.  "Should Bear read to you too?"

Iolaus shook his head.  "No read.  Play!"

"It's getting dark, no playing outside," his mother reminded him.

"We have field lights that we need to test," Xander offered, mostly to get all the kids out of the house.  Kids creeped him out.  The parents and Oliver gave him a dirty look for trying to be helpful so he gave up.  Especially when Joxer came over to sit in his lap.  She grinned up at him.  "Hi."

"Hi."  She wiggled.  "I love you."

"I love you too, Joxer, but you're still very little and someday you'll marry a man just like me."

Tipsy looked around her twins and Draco at him.   "If she does," she said calmly, "I will kill you, Alex."

"Now, now, be nice," Ron teased.

"Ron, if my precious offspring ever even *think* about marrying someone like Alex 'the slut' Dumass, I will gladly find them a *nice* home where they can raise cats once we brick them in so they can only get a little bit of light and air in the afternoon.  If my daughter even *thinks* about bringing home a boy like hi m, I'll gladly castrate him for her and teach her leash training for submissives.  Or I could just kill him and then instruct my daughter in the right way of finding a real man by giving them to one in a forced marriage," she finished with a sweet smile.  Her twins coughed.  "No.  They will not marry someone like Alex."

Xander giggled and blew a kiss.  "Remember, I used to be *worse*.  I could have wished her to have one like the old me."

"Yes, I had an interesting conversation with your painting in the attic," Draco noted gently, stroking his lover's thigh.  "It was quite enlightening about how much you've really changed.  You used to be someone who could out-stubborn and out pureblood my father on his best days."  Everyone stared at him.  "He is from one of the oldest families on the Isle.  He deserved that attitude."

"Hey, I changed," he noted dryly.  "Being alone and stuck in Sunnydale did make me take a very long look at myself.  Quite a few people wanted me to become the next bad guy to ease their fears of me and what I knew and could do."  He smirked at his new granddaughter, the one who wanted to follow in his footsteps.  "You can learn a lot from the tombs and the things you bring up from them.  Always remember that."  She swallowed and nodded so he smirked at her.  "Now you know why people thought that."

"Oh, I did before," she offered.  "There's got to be a lot of forbidden knowledge in the still- hidden tombs of the world's former inhabitants."  She shifted some.  "I think it can be quite educational really."

"It can be," Draco agreed. "I've learned a lot from our trips.  I've even learned not to take baths for advantage."

Ron smirked at him.  "You aren't the only one."

"When Harry came back that last time, he nearly used all the hot water in the building," Bear agreed dryly.  "He still stunk afterward."

"Gee, thanks," Harry said dryly, smirking at him.  "I actually got a cloth bath during that trip."

"Yeah, the Yeti really did stink and then you fell over him and got smelly from him," Ron agreed with a wicked grin for him.  "How was he, Harry?  Nice under all that fur?"

"Ron," Draco snapped.  "Do not make me sick."

"He didn't chase after *you*," Ron reminded him dryly.

"That's because I wisely cast a shield around myself and the pack animals.  If you had thought of protecting yourself, you wouldn't have nearly been stenched to death either.  Potter wouldn't have tripped over the thing if he had been paying attention but I suppose he was too busy chatting with you instead."

"Boys," Snape warned.  They both gave him dirty looks.  "The rest of us, namely the newcomers, do not need to be polluted by your childish squabble.  Get over it, you're adults now."

"They're acting better than usual," one of the twins offered tiredly, eyes closed and head resting against his wife's shoulder.  He heard his twin yawn.

"I think we're going to nap right here," his twin admitted.

"Night."

"All."

"Night, guys," Tipsy said with a grin for her boys.  She looked down at her older twins, who were both staring at them.  "Want to cuddle?" she suggested, patting her lap.  They climbed up and sat in their father's laps, resting against her chest to take their own nap.  They loved their daddies and wanted to be just like them.  Tipsy smirked at Emilia.  "It's the beauty of twins," she said happily.

Maria grinned at her.  "They all look so sweet.  Too bad they're naughty children when they're awake and cackling."

Tipsy smirked at her.  "I wouldn't have my husbands any other way."  That cracked up Greg and Emilia and made Ron groan and shake his head.  "They'd be more horrible otherwise."

Iolaus snuck back in, proudly holding up something he had found.  "Pretty!" he demanded of Maria.

"Yes, dear, it's very pretty.  Where did you find that?" she asked, glancing at her father.

"He found it in the library, in the locked case that was supposed to be keeping the changed figure in stasis," Xander said, getting up.  "Give, now, kid."

"No, my pretty!"

"Hush, and hand it over," Tipsy ordered.  "You can't steal stuff from him."

"No!  Mine!" he shouted, getting onto the floor to throw a fit.

Xander snatched it and headed off to relock the case.  He shook his head when he noticed his father staring at it.  "Iolaus.  And you wanted me to have more kids?"  He locked it back up and pocketed the key, going back to the cosy meeting.  It was much nicer now.  He flopped back down and pulled Draco into his lap, cuddling him.  "Kid, throwing a fit will not get it back," he said coolly when the boy continued.  "That's a bad thing.  You can't have it until you can summon the demon that did it, Iolaus."

"Demon?" he asked, stopping the fit.

"Oh, hell no," Tipsy said, glaring at him.  "He's not turning into Lovegood."

"Then I wouldn't let him handle any more demonic items," Xander said dryly, glaring back.  "Otherwise that thing would have grown.... a lot."

"Do you always keep such interesting things lying around the house?" Maria asked hesitantly.

"No, but shit happens and sometimes things don't sell to Gringotts and are pretty.  So we keep them in special cases," he assured her with a grin.   "In that one, it's a real dragon, but the demon turned it into a statue so it wouldn't stomp and eat her.  So therefore, unless we all want to fight a dragon tonight, we'll leave the pretty dragon statue alone."

"We could send it to Charlie."

"No," Xander said patiently. "It'd probably infect the others with demonic longings.  That one used to like to go after demons until it got changed.  I was thinking about giving it to Flitwick for a birthday present."

"Xander, no more evil thoughts.  That's my job," Draco said patiently.  The other Banes chuckled at that.  "It is.  If we sent it this year, Lovegood would coo over it like she does that stupid hellhound she's nursing again."

"She's doing what?" Tipsy asked.

"She's nursing a hellhound," Xander told her with a grin.  "The mommy puppy gave him into her care and she's a good puppy mommy too.  It's a cute little hellhound puppy. You should see her petting it.  She even dresses it up like a baby."

The other adults who knew Luna shuddered in horror as they considered that.  It was a very bad thought.

An Odd Interlude

Dawn looked around the classroom she was in, trying to count the seconds until she could get out of this boring thing.  She hated arithmancy.  She really wanted to drop it but Xander said it could be helpful so she'd try to keep up. Even though it sucked nearly as bad as the teacher did.  And did the teacher ever suck!  She sighed in relief when the gong rang, hurrying out to the Great Hall.  Lunch was one of her favorite meals and it only got better Monday and Wednesdays when she got to escape a stupid class that was going to drive her insane.  She tossed her bag down next to her usual seat, letting her puppy out of it so he could wander around and beg Ginny and Luna for treats.  "Okay, is it just me or does that teacher suck the very oxygen out of the air in her classroom to make us dizzy in addition to stunning our minds with ridiculous bullshit?"

"No, it's not just you," Luna admitted with a grin.  "That's very apt however.  Food?"

"Sure."  She took the bowl of soup, pouring herself out some.  "Thanks."

"Welcome."  She smiled as Ginny walked in, holding up the ladle.  "We've got soup today."

"Good. We've also got Professor Armwrench back," she said happily. "We finally get to take his class."

Luna shivered.  "Never was there a finer man that had no interest in women," she hissed.  "I can't wait to stare at him three days a week for the rest of the year."  Ginny moaned at that.

"Okay, and *who* is this person?" Dawn asked.  "Why wasn't he here last year?"

"We're not sure but I saw his carriage pull up today.  Pure black with black horses and green upholstery.  It's the one he took in our fourth year and our third and on back as far as I can remember," Ginny told her.  "He's supposed to be a *great* teacher, very funny.  The twins *loved* him," she assured Dawn.  "When it's your turn, I'm sure will too."

Dawn groaned.  "Why am I stuck two years behind my actual age?" she demanded.

"Because Rosenburg was teaching you how to be a witch?" Luna guessed.

"Well, yeah," Dawn agreed dryly.  "That probably did have a bit to do with it."  The doors crashed open and a man walked through them, making everyone turn and stare at him. "Is that him?" she hissed.  The man's auburn robe with gold trimmed cuffs and lapels, brown velvet pants, and gold and brown vest was a great outfit on him, and it showed what he had very well.  The girls around her nodded, looking goofy with their open-mouthed shock.  "Hmm, hottie alert definitely."

"I'm back!" he shouted, and the older students clapped and howled in laughter.  "Now, where are my darlings this year?" he asked with a grin toward the girls.  Then at the boys, most of whom blushed.

"Welcome back, Professor Armwrench," Dumbledore said happily.  "I wish you had been here last year."  He silently contemplated how much calmer things would have been if they hadn't made Alex teach his class in his absence.

"I wish I had been here last year as well but I was a bit...tied up," he admitted with a wicked smirk.  He kissed the back of McGonagall's hand.  "Ah, my beautiful mistress. How wondrous you look this year.  Have all your problem students left already?"

"No, we still have one Weasley in residence," she said dryly, swatting at him with the hand he had kissed.  "Come sit, Professor.  Surely you remember Professor Methos?  He's returned to teach Defense for the last two years."

"Ah, yes, I have quite a lot of knowledge of him," he said with a wink for the immortal.  "How are you this week, Methos?" he asked in a purring voice.  The immortal raised an eyebrow.  "Shall we have tea later?  As being unattached teachers around here?  No house to call our own and the like?" he added with a smug look and a wink.  He looked at Severus, then gasped. "You married!  When!  You sly dog!" he shouted, coming over to shake his hand.  "When do I meet the blushing bride?"

"When you let go of him," Holly growled. "He's mine now."  The new professor chuckled and kissed the back of her hand as well.  "And you are?" she asked regally.

He winked. "Professor Armwrench.  I teach Life Studies."  He bowed and smirked at her again. "Very pretty, Severus, and she suits you so very well.   Nicely done."  He walked around the table and took a seat between Methos and McGonagall, sitting down with a sweep of his robe to free it from the chair.  "Now, then.  Who do I have this year?"

"You have the seventh years and one possible student," McGonagall admitted.  "She's old enough," she noted at Madam Sprout's odd look in her direction.

"In the past we've not let the students who were technically old enough attend," she offered gently.

"She's already got most of the practical lessons," McGonagall reminded her.

"Still," Madam Sprout wobbled.  "Don't make her attend yet.  It'll give her nothing to look forward to."

"Should not *I* make that decision?" Professor Armwrench asked dryly.  "Who is this young woman?"

"I can hear you, quit talking about me!" Dawn yelled.  "I've already got a headache."

"She's pouting because Weasley is leaving soon for Iran," Madam Sprout said with a gentle grin for him.

"Ah, I've seen her picture in the papers.  I'll talk to her later."  He pulled over some food and dug in.  "Good food.  I've missed this recently."

"You could have come sooner," Dumbledore reminded him gently.

"Unfortunately I barely got free recently," he admitted.  "My father had me a bit...tied up."

"Understandable," Dumbledore agreed happily.  "I'm assuming it's settled?  We really don't need more strife here."

"No, I doubt he'll show up at all," the new professor said with a smile for him.  "After all, he's not exactly on this plane, now is he?"

"No, he's not," Dumbledore agreed.  He was quite pleased with that fact as well.  "Miss Summers, why is your dog wandering around under the Slytherin table?"

"Because he doesn't realize that Draco isn't there this year, sir.  Midnight!"  He barked and came trotting back, sitting next to her while wagging his tail.  "Good boy," she cooed, reaching down to pet him.  "Go play with Hagrid."  Midnight barked and went up to Hagrid, nuzzling his hand to get some treats and attention from him as well.

"Y'er a good boy, Midnight," Hagrid praised.  "Sit and I'll play with yer later."  Midnight laid down on his feet, giving him adoring looks.  "Good boy, Middy."

"Now, now, Hagrid, not at the table," Dumbledore said gently.  "He can play with you later.  You and our baby dragon seem to love him quite a lot.  Plus the unicorns also seem to love him."

"Dragon?" Armwrench asked curiously.

"Keelian," Hagrid said proudly.  "Tried to adopt Ron in a marketplace so we got to adopt him."  He grinned down at Midnight, then at the professor.  "You can come down an' see him later if you want.  He's a sweetie.  Just a baby steamer.  Likes to dive down shirts now and then but otherwise pretty neat."

"Thank you, Hagrid.  I'd love to see the baby dragon," he said graciously.   "I had no idea that things like that happened without my help," he muttered quietly.

"Ron is Alex Dumass's apprentice," McGonagall retorted equally quietly.  "As his consort is Draco Dumass."

"Draco?  The blond, sneering one?"

"Turned out to be part veela and a bottom slut," Methos said dryly, but trying to keep quiet as well.  It wouldn't look good if someone heard him say that.   "Dumass has four apprentices.  His consort, his little sister, Dawn, her boyfriend Weasley, and his grandson, Potter."  Armwrench stared at him.  Methos nodded, smirking at him.  "We missed you last year.  You might have kept it down some."

He leaned closer.  "Where would the fun be in that?" he hissed.  "But I would like to have seen them in action."  He sat up again and grinned at the students.  "Those who have me this year will have me at the end of Tuesday and Thursday, depending on house," he announced.  "Of course, I am open to mentoring any students," he said with a smirk at one cute boy, who blushed and looked away.

"We love you, Professor Armwrench," one girl yelled.

"Yes, love, and I feel the same," he called back with a grin.  "But you're still a bit too young for me."

The other students laughed and cheered at that.  Yes, he was back!  The most fun professor in Hogwart's history!

***

Ginny and Luna lucked out, they had the class together so they got to tromp in there together, pausing to look at the teacher lounging on top of the desk.  He was in a black pair of leather pants, a black vest with blue fastener straps, and a black trenchcoat draped across his body.  They held in their moans and took their seats up front, making him smirk at them.  "Professor?" Luna asked quietly, not wanting to interrupt him if he was deep in thought.  He grinned at her and she shivered.  "May I talk to you after class?"

"Of course, Miss Lovegood," he agreed happily.  "I believe you can answer some questions for me as well."

She nodded quickly.  "Yes, sir, I'd be more than happy to do that."

The gong rang so he put one foot up, bent at the knee and crossed over his other leg.  "Are we all here?" he asked smoothly.  Everyone stared at him.  "As most of you know, I am Professor Armwrench.  I am here to teach you Life Studies.  That is a complex subject and I expect most of you to have many questions."

"Are you a poofter?" one boy blurted out.

The teacher waved a hand and the boy was a toad.  "Why?  Interested in my fine ass?" he asked smugly.  "That is entirely another lesson, my boy."  He sat up, his thighs spread and his trenchcoat flowing off the back of his desk.  "Now then," he said, grinning at them.  "Wherever should we start?"  He looked around.  "All right, I do see a potential problem.  Miss Lovegood, please remove the hellhound puppy from my classroom.  They always want to hump my leg and I may set him off on a growth spurt."  She swallowed and sent him back to her room using a reverse summoning charm.  "Very well done," he praised, giving her a long look.  "I believe we should have a *long* talk later," he noted dryly.  He looked at Ginny.  "However, you, my dear, are quite pretty.  What do you?"

"I play with unicorns presently," she said grimly.

He hummed and smirked.  "Interesting.  And a Weasley.  You don't take after Bill at all, do you?"  She snickered but shook her head.  "Good.  It's always better that way."  He looked across the other students, counting heads.  "Fine, let's set down some rules.  Shall we?"  He hopped off the table, standing in all his magnificence in front of them, hands on his hips.  He grinned.  "I am Loki.  I am omnipotent.  You will obey, or else be like your friend, the frog."

Luna's eyes bulged.  "You're who?" she blurted.  "You're a bloody myth."

He winked at her.  "Am I?"  He looked at the students again.  "I feel very free to tell you this because you won't remember it outside of this classroom.  Nor will you be able to talk about it."  He glanced at the duo again, then at one girl in the back of the room.  He grinned at her as well.  "The last one who could was Dumbledore."  He walked a step closer.  "As you well know by now, there are many things I can cover.  If you behave, I will cover most of them.  Including sexual education lessons.  But only if you're good."  The boys cheered at that.  "Of course, if you're not...."  He smirked at them.  "You may end up being the demonstration models."  He grinned at the girls.  "I'd never ask any of you to do that. You're ladies, every last one of you."

He looked at his students again, letting his arrogant smugness come through.  "Now then, will any of you give me a bit of trouble?"  They shook their heads.  "Are we sure?"  They nodded.  "Good.  Then lets get the mundane out of the way.  We'll start with balancing the household accounts today.  As we progress and you show how good you can be, we'll get onto more worthy and fun topics."  He saw Ginny's hand shoot up.  "Yes?" he asked patiently.

"If you're really Loki, sir, why do you teach here instead of being worshiped?"

"Because then my father would find out and try to tie me up again," he said simply.  He grinned. "Besides, it's fun here.  I like doing this for a few months a year.  You students are very amusing."  He sat on the edge of his desk again, his thighs again spread.  "Balancing the household accounts is easy.  It's a matter of simple math, addition and subtraction.  You create a budget because you do not have unlimited resources.  Not even the Malfoys do if they spend it on something too outrageously frivolous.  Trying to buy a country would still bankrupt them."

"But they could earn money doing that," Ginny pointed out.

"Probably," he agreed.  "Knowing what you have coming in and why you have things going out is what making a budget is for."  He waved a hand at the board and it filled with words and numbers.  "They are typical family expenses and an average income.  I want you all to work on a monthly family budget based on that weekly income and those expenses.  They should mostly match."  He watched as everyone pulled out quills, ink, and parchment then got down to work. He watched for the more clueless students since most of them gave him more problems.  Students like Ginny, who already knew how to save and how to do a budget, didn't need much help.  But this class did give him a chance to find his future worshipers and mark them.  That's why he was really here. To find all his people and get them to vow to him so he could protect and keep them, even as they prayed to him.  He was a God, that's what they did for their people.  He saw Ginny look at her paper with a frown and start to nibble on the back of her pen, so he glanced behind him.  "Hmm, I inflated one of them.  Sorry," he announced, fixing it.  A few of the more reasonably taught students corrected their papers and looked much happier at the results they were getting.  By the time he sat down to grade, he had premarked all the potential people in that class.  He noticed Ginny's had a few extra expenses on it and looked at her.  "These weren't part of the exercise."

"No, sir," she said, giving him a long look, "but I'm being realistic."

He looked down again and nodded.  "You are," he decided.  She had added extra categories for things like animal food costs, babysitting, nights on the town, and insurance.  She had even corrected her math mistakes.  "Well done," he praised.  Too bad she wasn't to be one of his, he'd enjoy someone like her in his ranks.  He looked over as the frog started to croak and waved a hand, turning him back.  "You've got twenty minutes, do the assignment," he said impatiently.  The boy started to scribble, letting silent tears drip down his face.

"Oh, quit it already," Luna snapped when she got tired of listening to him sniffle as he worked.  "It's no worse than being an animagus or, in contrast, being like Malfoy was done and turning into a ferret.  You were a toad, now you're human again, get on with your human life before *I* turn you back."

He burst out in tears and ran from the room, mumbling something about mean girls.  "Nicely done," the teacher praised dryly, smirking at her.  "Ten points from your house however because that's *my* fun, not yours."

"Yes, sir," she said with a small shrug and a smirk back.  "It was fun though."

"Yes, I usually use it as stress relief.  How many have their assignments done?"  Most hands went up.  "The rest of you hurry up and those who have it done, hand it in."  One of the students in the back gathered them up for him and brought them up, giving him a shy smile before he went back to his seat.  "Thank you, that was most helpful."  He looked at the first few, grading them silently until all the papers had come in.  He glanced through them, only pulling out the truly bad ones.  "All right. We have a ninety-percent pass rate this class.  That means next class can be a bit less boring.  So I suppose that means we'll be going over rituals.  Any questions?"  They all shook their heads.  "Good, dismissed."  They ran out, and he laughed as the conversations dramatically altered once they had passed the spell on the doorway.  "I told you so," he called after them.  He looked at the remaining students.  "Hmm, interesting that a witch practicing demonic magic would hang about with one who was dealing with unicorns."

"I *am* a Weasley," Ginny said dryly, waving a hand about.  "We've got to get our oddness out somehow and since I'm not a slut like my bigger brothers, what else can I do?"

"Besides, Dawn's so much fun," Luna added for good measure.  "We make a good trio."

"Really, that would be an interesting picture.  Got tapes?"

Luna snickered.  "Not a trio like that, sir.  If we were, Ginny wouldn't be working with unicorns."

"Good point."  He smirked at her.  "Now, Miss Lovegood.  You do realize that the more often you play with the demonic, the more you get tainted?"

"Yes, but I only play with Ethan."  He raised an eyebrow so she smirked brighter.  "What?" she asked innocently.

"Very well, I'll lecture you about that sort of thing later.  Do not teach the others sex ed.  It might get some parents upset.  Again, that would be my fun," he reminded her.  "Miss Weasley, tell me more about this Dawn."

"Dawn Summers?"

"She's here?" he asked, standing up straighter.  They nodded.  "Truly?  The Key?"

"You know her?" Luna asked.

"I watched over her in Sunnydale."

"She was adopted by Alex Dumass," Ginny said.  "Xander Harris back then."

"Oh, I'm well aware of him," he said with a mild purr. "I'll be seeing him later."  He put an arm around their shoulders.  "Lead me to her, ladies."  They walked him out, noticing that the spell didn't work on them.  "It'll work next time," he promised.  They giggled and led him outside, right to where Dawn was usually waiting on them.  "Miss Summers," he said, stepping closer once he let the others go.  She looked up and shivered, making him smile.  "Yes, you know me."  She took a step back.  "I'm not here to harm you.  I looked over you when you were in Sunnydale."

"I... you make me feel odd."

He grinned.  "At one point in time I did something that bothered your energy so they made me merge with the energy matrix to stabilize you."  He reached out and touched her hand gently.  "You know me."

"I do."  She blinked up at him.  "Loki?"

He grinned and nodded.  "Very good.  You do have some memories."  He nodded at the other two.  "We're going to take a short walk.  Tell her next teacher I said so."  He walked her off, her hand on his arm.  "How many memories do you have?"

"Not many, it's like I get flashes now and then.  And somehow I'm linked into the Bane's marking system."

"One of my better ideas in recent history," he shared with a wink.

"Is Xander one of yours?"

"All cursebreakers are mine," he bragged.  "Some of them are better than others.  Alex is one of my best ever.  Actually it's rather funny.  Whenever the more powerful ones see me, they usually fall to their knees with their mouths open and make pleading noises."

"Draco would *hate* that," she said with a smirk for him.

"Yes, well, he's one of mine by default," he said happily.  "I need to go mark them later, thank you for reminding me.  So, do you want to be a cursebreaker and one of mine?"

"That sounded faintly dirty," she chastised.

He snorted.  "Me, dirty?" he taunted.

"Good point."  She grinned up at him.  "I think I do.  I know it's hard and nasty but then I could be with Ron."

"Yes, but it is also a very complex field," he warned.  "As you will soon see if I know Alex."

"We're going to Iran for a dig on a city," she admitted, looking at the ground as they walked. "I'm joining them over the holidays."

"Good.  Excellent in fact.  Alexander is very thorough in his education, as his scion in the field, Bill, shows.  How is Ron?"

"Good enough I guess," she said, shrugging.  "I don't know how to judge that yet."

"Good point.  I've noticed quite a bit of mischief seems to like him.  I'll have to pop around later."  He smirked at her.  "For now, you will be joining my class.  I have no doubt that you'd cry over missing one of Sev's classes but I'm going to be pushy about it.  There is much you need to know to stay in this world, including how not to get what's known as an energy pregnancy.  Which are rather nasty.  Thor had one of those a few years back from sucking in too much.  We nearly had clones."  He shuddered.  "Nasty creature, brothers."

"I've only got a sister and she's a vampire now," she offered, grinning at him.  He was neat.  "Are Slayers yours?"

"Strife's actually but I'm the only one who can get onto this plane anymore.  Except one day once a year."  He stroked her cheek.  "Which you should be feeling this year.  You've been awakened.  You know your nature.  You know your body. You know love and desire.  You'll feel it this year and the blessings shall probably flow like honey around you, love."  He grinned at her.  "What about it?  Wanna join the class?"

"Sure," she agreed happily. "Thank you for asking me, professor.  I hate being so far behind.  Sometimes it's like I'm teaching baby sisters."

"I know."  He patted her on the back.  "I nearly had a child of my own.  Oh, well, I'm off to mark more of mine.  Join Ginny and Luna.  I want to see the three of you together.  We're working on home rituals next class, things like the wedding night ritual to funnel energy to the Earth instead into the bed as a fertility spell."  Her eyes went wide and he smirked.  "It didn't work.  He buys his, dear."

She sighed.  "Won't *anyone* let me forget that I screwed up my contraceptive potion?"

"No," he said smugly.  "Gotta go, love.  Be there next week."  He flicked his hand and left, heading to a manor house down the coast.  "Ah, my sweet ones," he purred, smirking at Alex as he fell to his knees and crawled over to hug his knees.  "Good boy, Alex."  He looked over as Draco came in, dagger in one hand and wand in the other.  "That's not needed, Mr. Dumass.  Come, sit.  Chat.  It's a pleasant pasttime."  He stared the boy down, making him shiver and back away.  "Or better yet, I need to see the other two too.  Bring them then come back."  Draco ran out, going to get the others.  He looked down at Alex, who was nuzzling him.  "Enough," he said gently, knowing the boy couldn't help it.  He sat down, crossing his legs.  "Sit there, Alex.  Let's see how the others do, shall we?"  He nodded, swallowing.  "Then we'll have to mark you all."  He looked over as Ron stormed in, looking him over as his mouth opened and he let out a whimper.  Draco came in next, still holding the dagger. "I said, put it down," he ordered, and waved a hand, making the blade land in a nearby bookcase.  "Do not pull weapons around a God, boy. It's impolite.  Sit.  Beside your keeper," he ordered when Draco moved to a chair.  "I need to see if you're fit to be marked or not."  He looked over as Harry rushed in, noticing how Ron's glow got brighter to him and Harry suddenly seemed to flash onto his radar.  "Well," he said smugly.  "Stand together, boys."  Harry moved closer to Ron, nudging him. "Don't.  Touch his hand, let's see where the powers lie."  He forced Harry to do so and they both ended up on their knees, panting at him.  "Interesting.  Draco, do the same."

"What is going on here?" Xander's father demanded.  He looked at Loki and gasped. "Professor Armwrench," he moaned.

"Yes, when he was deaged, my mark left him.  Plus, I never got to mark these delightful ones.  It's interesting, Ron's gotten stronger since Harry walked in.  Draco, be a good boy and touch your mate.  It will keep him calm while I mark him."  Draco did so and Xander broke out of it but not by much.  "Hmm, very interesting," he purred.  He snapped his fingers and they all snapped out of it.  "You know who I am?"

"You're the Cursebreaker's God," Harry said quietly.

"Very good, Mr. Potter."  He smiled at him.  "Had I not been so...tied up, I would have done this last year.  Usually I only have a year from the point of eighteen before things start to go awry and I can't mark those who are mine for protection."  He slid a hand down his pants and came out with a small vial and a piece of cloth.  "Draco, what I'm about to do is mark your mate as one of my priests.  Will that bother you?"

"Only if you touch him," he sneered.

"I'd never dream of it.  That is the normal cursebreaker's response.  It varies on how strong they are.  There's only been a few who were as strong as Xander.  I've only had one who absolutely couldn't hold back from me when I marked them.  With my mark that will lessen.  Do you agree?"

"You're not touching him?" Draco demanded.

"I get more than enough of that, my dear boy," he said smugly, smirking at him.  "Another very good reason to teach the young men things, wouldn't you say?"  Draco swallowed and nodded as Xander's hand stroked his thigh.  "That's very good, Xander.  I knew I was right to protect you as much as I could in Sunnydale.  Unfortunately even I was limited there."  He dipped the cloth into the fluid and came over to wipe a simple stripe down each boy's foreheads, whispering in his ear.  They each nodded and let him move on to the next one.  Ron and Harry unclasped hands, which made them weaker, so he made them do it again, which made them glow nearly as pretty as Xander did to him.  That settled it, he marked them as he did Xander, splitting it between them.  They moaned and leaned forward, stealing a kiss from his fingers.  "Good boys," he soothed, sitting down again.  "Alex?  How do you feel?" he asked smugly.

"More calm and rational," he admitted, shaking his head to clear it.  "Who are you?"

He winked.  "Who is over all of you, Alex?"

"Loki?" he breathed.  Loki tipped his head, smiling at him.  "Really?"

"Really.  That's why I teach at the school.  To premark all of you.  Unfortunately I was busy with some hefty knots and giving a certain worm the munchies. I hear you taught in my place, Alex.  Were there many to mark?"

"Two and I had them marked at the Gringott's ceremony.  I even sponsored them into the marking," he said proudly.

"Good boy.  Just what I'd expect in one my high ones."  He patted Draco on the head again.  "You're a good match for you him.  I approve.  Remember to stay that way.  Ron, I've taken your woman into my class to instruct and protect her while you're not there.  Expect her to be very happy to see you come the holidays."  He stood up.  "Now, what fantastic things have you found, Alex?"

"I found the link back to the stargates," he said in a silly, happy voice, grinning at him.  "They found the Lost Ones."

"Oh, my," Loki said happily.  "Good boy!  Excellent.  For that you deserve a treat."

"I am his treat," Draco said snidely.

"Of course you are, boy.  Now, let's see what I can do to thrill him more.  Follow," he ordered, enforcing it.  Draco followed him, struggling the whole way.  Once upstairs he dressed the boy up for his lover, then summoned the vibrating priest of his, turning him loose on his decorated mate.  It was quite the primal coupling.  He was sure a Love God somewhere was getting high off them.  He strolled back down the stairs to get to know the others.  They were obviously meant to be his.  After all, it wasn't just anyone who could be kidnaped by a dragon.

Trapped and Not Alone.

"In other news," the radio spouted, "there was a dragon spotted in Cumnock, Scotland today.  We have confirmed the sighting of the dragon, and she's a big 'un, folks, and she's angry and more than willing to eat people. So if you live near there, you might want to stay inside for the day.  The Species Department said they weren't sure if she was roaming or nesting, they've sent an investigator but he hasn't returned.  In related news, the Species department wanted to hear from any Tamers on the island at the moment, just in case you know," the announcer finished with a small smile.  "Now onto the Ag report.  Chickens today are worth a galleon, seven sickles alive; a galleon, forty sickles if killed and plucked."

Xander reached over to turn off the radio.  "Ron, you might want to warn Charlie."

"On it," he agreed.  "Are we going to get called for that?"

"Hopefully not.  I only do unliving things, not living things."  He flicked a hand.  "Go call Charlie then go play, Ron.  You're going to be working your ass off soon enough."

"Sure, Alex."  He grinned and went to use the floo in the study to call his mother's house, then decided to pop over for a bit.  "Hi, Mum."

"Hi, Ron."  She gave him a hug.  "Still preparing for that city?"

"Yup, sure am.  I came over to see Charlie.  Species put out a note on the radio they wanted all the tamers locally to check in.  There's a dragon up in Cumnock."

"Wonderful," she agreed dryly.  "Bad?"

"They haven't heard back from their investigator yet."

"Then it's probably bad," Charlie agreed as he walked in.  "Who called?"

"Species.  It was on the radio."

"Fine.  I'll go ahead and call them then we can play in the backyard with the brooms," he said happily.

"Sure, I'm good with that," Ron said happily.  "Alex said we could bring our brooms with us, it's so far out in the middle of nowhere no one'd see us."

"Even better," Charlie agreed, going to call the Ministry.  He tossed in some floo powder.  "Ministry of Magic, Species department."  A pretty young woman's head spun into the fire.  "You wanted us to check in?"

"We were hoping one of you was nearby," she said with a small pout.  "Did someone tell you about that rogue dragon?  It's already eaten our investigator and the student who called it in because she went back to look it over.  None of our people want her and it's a very pretty girl, Charlie."

"Where?" he sighed.

"Cumnock."

"Wonderful.  In heat or nesting?"

"We're not sure.  We never heard back from the investigator at all."

"Fine," he complained. "No more during my vacation."

"If we'd had anyone else since we started to put out the broadcast I'd send them instead," she vowed.  "It's not fair to you."

"No, but it does get him out of Mum's hair for a bit," Ron said with a grin.  "Want help, Charlie?"

"Sure, why not," he agreed dryly.  "I'm sure you've learned *something* from Alex by now."

"Actually I've learned a lot and so has Dawn by taking care of Keelian."

"How is the little darling?" the species person asked.

"Curled up on her bed like he owns it," he said dryly.  "He still purrs and stretches but he's been snapping at the owls so Dawn's been puppy training him not to eat the other pets or the house elves."

"We'll teach Hagrid how to set him up his own private house," she offered.  "It sounds like it's about time for him to start out on his own."  She winked at Charlie.  "Think you could test Dawn, see if she'd like to change fields?  She does very well with that baby dragon."

"Sure, why not," he agreed, smirking at her.  "Fine.  Ron, get your woman and we'll go," he said patiently.  Ron bounced off, going to get his stuff while Charlie hung up and went to put on real clothes he could work in.  "Mum, I've got to rescue the dragon from indigestion, before she eats the rest of that town," he called as he went up to his room.

"That's fine, Charlie, I'll save you some dinner if you're not back in time."  She smiled and tidied up the small mess the boys has already made, then went back to her last few duties of the day.  Then she could sit down and read until they got back.

***

Dawn looked at the cave, then at Charlie.  "Are you sure she's in there?" she asked quietly.

He poked his head in and sniffed.  "Yeah, she's in there and she's laying eggs," he said grimly.   He pulled them back while he reported. He turned to look at them once they had their orders.  "All right, for now we're to contain.  Species will be up to tag her and move her in a bit."

Ron nodded, glancing inside the nest.  Even he could feel the jewels in there.  He looked at Charlie who scowled.  "Just thinking."

"No, Ron," Charlie told him.  "Nests are not what you want to deal with."

"I had no intention of it, but after she's moved we should go in and search the area for any hidden spots.  You never know what you'll find."

"Yeah, but won't Alex be upset?" Dawn asked.

Ron snorted and shook his head.  "Only if we pulled him out of the workroom or study today.  I'm more than good enough to find hidden spots, it's what I'm really good at.  That and money.  Harry gets jewels and power and dead things, but I get the hidden stuff and the spending stuff," he teased.

"I don't have an affinity."

"You can sense power," Charlie assured her.  "You look up each time Bill, Dumbledore, Snape, McGonagall, or I walk into a room."  He patted her on the back.  "Relax, you've got time."

"I know," she sighed. "It still sucks that I'm surrounded by younger people all day."

They all looked up at the rumbling noise, then at each other before running to hide.  She caught them anyway, knocking Charlie out as she drug them into her nest.  Ron guarded the front while Dawn looked Charlie over.  "Dawn, to my left and back about ten feet is a hidden alcove.  Drag him back into there," he ordered quietly.  She nodded, pulling Charlie with her.  She knew you didn't use magic around dragons unless you wanted their attention.  Ron backed up and ran once he was in the shadows, getting gouged by a reaching claw, but he would be fine.  Once they were safely hidden he looked down at the back of his leg, frowning at the open spot.  "That's gonna be nasty to heal in the desert."

"Here, let me," Dawn offered, creating a bandage and wrapping it around his leg. "That should hold it," she offered once it was tied in place.  She grinned up at him and he smiled back, but more weakly.  "Can you feel any more hidden areas?" she asked quietly.

"There's a bunch of them around the opening but we'd have to leave here, sneak out, go from spot to spot, then make a dash for the doorway."

She shook her head. "That's not safe.  We can wait until she takes a nap or goes out to hunt."

"Love, she's in labor, she's not going anywhere for a while," he said patiently.  "Even if she's laid all her eggs, she won't be moving for a bit.  She'll have to sit on them for months."

She sighed.  "How long?"

"If you're lucky, we'll get you back by Tuesday."  She snorted, she was on a weekend pass for some training time, and some snuggling time since Xander wasn't that mean.  "I'm not kidding, Dawn."

"Shoot.  Oh, well, I guess I'm missing that Potions test.  Think he'll allow me a makeup for this?"

"Snape doesn't allow anyone to take make up tests.  Not even his own house," he said dryly, smirking at her.  "Though you've probably got the most original excuse this year."

"Yeah, no one can doubt I could have made it."   She glanced outside and saw a big eye.  She squeaked and pointed.

Ron looked out and waved.  "Hi, how are you?" he asked with a grin.  "You know, he was going to move you to somewhere more private with a better source of food.  Unfortunately you knocked him out."  She steamed at them and he choked on the fumes.  "Eww.  You need a toothbrush worse than Hermione's cat.  Go sit on your eggs.  It's not like we can escape."  Charlie groaned and Ron kicked him gently on the shoulder. "You up yet?  We're rather trapped, but fortunately she's watching."

Charlie sat up, holding his head.  "What happened?"

"A big rock that she swatted you into," Dawn told him, moving his hand to look at his head again.  "You should be fine soon, Charlie," she soothed.

"Do that when you have kids, Dawn," he complained as he stood up.  He looked around the small cavern they were in, then at Ron.  "Where's the dragon?"  He pointed and Charlie looked, seeing the eye.  "Well, you're bigger than most of mine," he said, staring her down.  She blew more steam at him, making him cough.  "You can't do that. I need ta take you somewhere more healthy for you.  With much more food."  She blew hotter steam this time, making them all back up.  "Fine."  He looked at his helpers.  "Now what?"

"We wait?" Ron suggested.

"No defensive spells?"

"That won't piss her off more?  We could stun her I guess, or even do that neat thing where you float her up and make her cling to the ceiling."

"She's too big for that one," Charlie admitted. "Stunning would probably take six or seven of us."

"Should we build a fire and floo someone?" Dawn suggested.

"It's not that easy," Charlie warned.  "I'm out of emergency floo powder."

"Okay, so we do what?" Dawn asked.  "We can't just wait in here.  There's no bathroom."

"Welcome to the field," Ron and Charlie said in unison.

Ron beamed at her.  "I'd offer to dig you a latrine but you'd probably get pissed at me."  She nodded, giving him an impatient look.  "Well, we can't do much else until she wanders off, Dawn.  Unless you know a shrinking spell that'll work on a dragon in labor?"

"No," she pouted.  "It's not supposed to be this hard.  Willow would be able to do something."

"Yeah, kill her," Ron snorted.

"Enough, children," Charlie said impatiently.  "No more fighting. You sound like a married couple already and it's making me sick."

"Sorry," Ron said but he was grinning.  "You know, some people are against making portable floo devices.  I'm wondering if Dad still is."

"I've been in worst spots," Charlie assured him.  "I've always gotten out before."

"Yeah, but then you had a whole team behind you and knowing where you were," Dawn pointed out.  "They don't know we haven't been eaten."  She leaned against one wall, crossing her arms and thinking hard.  "I wish we could use something, like say a tattoo?"

Ron grinned.  "Brilliant, that's why I love you," he said with a wink.  He touched his arm and got nothing.  "Is it possible for her to shield this place?" he asked finally.

"Yeah, dragons laying a nest often shield the eggs from things like that," Charlie said grimly.

Ron closed his eyes and thought really hard at Tipsy, who was still a bit open.  The message basically said 'trapped, not eaten, come save, please, before we go insane' and made her jump up from her nap.  He added a hasty 'thank you, this was Ron, Dawn, and Charlie' then opened his eyes.  "I'm hoping I reached Tipsy."

"Hopefully," Dawn agreed.

Charlie sat down.  "It's going to be a long wait, kids, you might as well sit."  They slid down their walls.  "So, how's school going, Dawn?"

She giggled. "If I miss Monday, I'll be missing a Potions test."

"Wonderful.  Doing okay in there otherwise?"

"Only on the more practical things.  I suck at potions."

Ron snickered.  "You're getting your birth control and your skin stuff right, that's all that's really important."  She nodded.  Charlie rolled his eyes.  "She used to screw it up."

Dawn sighed.  "Ron!"

"You're still buying yours, right?" Charlie asked.  Ron nodded quickly.  "That's good then.  How's everything else going?  How's McGonagall?"

***

Xander stared at the goblin in his fireplace.  "I don't deal with nests.  I've never dealt with nests.  I don't take from the living, I only learn and borrow from the dead," he said patiently.  Tipsy came rolling out, looking panicked.  "Something wrong with the kids?"

"Ron's in trouble."  He dropped his book at that and leaned forward to pull her down onto the coffee table in front of him.  "I heard him.  He's in trouble, he said something about eating, not Charlie or Dawn, and to save him.  I couldn't get him.  It was really fuzzy, Alex."

"That's fine."  He looked at the goblin.  "Was he with Charlie at that dragon you wanted me to go steal from?"  He nodded.  "Wonderful.  Any other tamers?"  The goblin shook his head.  "Then you get me a tamer and I'll go for them.  Until then, I can't fight a dragon!"  The goblin disappeared and he looked at Tipsy again.  "Okay, again, more coherently."

"That's all I got, Alex, I swear.  It was fuzzy, like it was being blocked.  Didn't you hear him?"

"No," Xander said grimly.  He touched his arm, concentrating.  "I can't hear him at all."  He stroked her cheek.  "Calm down.  They won't get hurt."

"They can be!  The dragon's already two people!"

"If she's blocking it, she's nesting, Tipsy," he said calmly.  "She'll play with them first."  She nodded, calming herself down.  He looked over as the fire sparked back up, this time with a perky blond he had met recently.  "Hey.  Got any tamers?  She got a message from Ron saying that they were trapped."

"Wonderful.  No others have come forward, Mr. Dumass.  I don't know what to tell you."

Xander nodded, thinking fast.  "I'm not able to take on a dragon.  I'm realistic.  I can go up there and check it out but I'm not being eaten today."  He nodded quickly.  "I might be able to drag her out to distract her but you're still going to need a tamer."  The man nodded again.  "Find one, even some of his coworkers."

"I hadn't thought of that," he said quickly, disappearing.

Xander looked at Tipsy.  "Okay, go tell Molly that I'm handling it, but it's going to be a while.  She might not want to make supper for a bit."  She nodded, going to do that.  Xander stood up with a stretch once he was alone.  "Fuck!" he said firmly, going up to change clothes.  He was in lounging pajamas.  He couldn't go taunt a dragon in those.  He found Draco taking a nap and spanked him hard to wake him up.  "They're trapped by that dragon."

"What dragon?" he asked, sitting up to yawn and rub his eyes.  "Who's trapped."

"Ron, Dawn, and Charlie apparently."  He took off his lounging pajamas and changed into his usual jeans/t-shirt/over-shirt/boots/jacket outfit and grabbed his favorite axe as he walked out.  "Get dressed, Draco. It's time to go."

"Coming.  Give me ten minutes to shower first," he called after him.  He hurried to change and get dressed.  This was going to give him taunting material for years.

***

Xander looked at the entrance to the cave, letting out a piercing whistle.  "Yo, big smelly creature.  Tasty people out here!  Come get me!"  No answer and no dragon.  "Ron?  Charlie, Dawn?"

"Living," Dawn yelled back.  "She's still watching us.  She clawed the back of Ron's leg and Charlie's got a headache."

"Fine."  Xander pulled his wand and glanced around before shooting a spell at the cave's entrance, getting an enraged bellow from the dragon for setting the hay part of her nest on fire.  She stormed out and started to pull in a breath so he created a containment bubble around her head.  She broke it against the rocks, but unfortunately didn't knock herself out.  He ducked as she swiped at him, running for some nearby rocks.  She went back inside.  "Damn it!"

"We're in a bigger cave and closer to the door," Dawn called.

Draco appeared, frowning at his mate where he was hiding.  "What's wrong?  Is it a scary one?"

"She's a bit pissed.  I toasted the hay part of her nest, I'd run now," he told Draco when he heard the stomping.  Draco ran over to hide with him.  "Good job.  Nice outfit.  Isn't that my shirt?"

Draco nodded.  "It was clean and fit me well enough.  Potter?"

"No, Harry's got his last game today."

"Shoot, this seems like something Potter would be part of.  Usually he'd be in there with Weasley."

"Both Weasleys and Dawn," Xander corrected.  He came out from behind the rock and peeked inside the cave, not expecting the paw to slap him into the opposite wall. He slid down the wall without another noise.  Fortunately, Draco knew how to float people out of the way of harm.   Draco also knew how to get him to the hospital and call for the Ministry to handle the idiots of the universe.

***

Ron looked over as Dawn pouted.  They hadn't heard from Xander in a while, even when they had yelled.  "He wouldn't have given up."

"He pissed her off, she probably swatted him and Draco took him off," Charlie said tiredly.  He yawned.  "At least this one's bigger.  We can nap in here."

"I'll wake you up if you nap for too long," Dawn promised.  He gave her an odd look.  "Concussion?" she suggested dryly.

"Point," he agreed.  He shrugged and snuggled in against the wall he was leaning on, closing his eyes once his arms were over his chest.  "Wake me if she leaves."

"Sure," Ron agreed, going to the opening to watch their hostess settle in and lay another egg.  He glanced around the main cavern to see if there was anything they could use.  He felt someone move up behind him.  "What?" he asked quietly.

"Anything we can use to get out of here?" she asked quietly, stroking his back.

"No, not yet.  Not unless we need to be very mean."  He smiled at her.  "Try to call Xander's axe.  I can feel the stupid thing.  It's got that pretty stone in the head."

She pulled her wand.  "Accio Xander's axe."  It came flying but the dragon swatted it against a wall.  "He'll beat us for that."

Ron snorted and pulled his wand.  "Wingardium Leviosa," he cast, floating it barely above the ground to bring it in to them.  The dragon saw it and stepped on it.  Then the dragon glared at them.  "Oh, quit," he said, letting the axe go.  He zapped her instead.  The dragon yelped and let go of the axe so Dawn called it in.  "Thanks, that's one thing."  The dragon let out a bellow as another egg came, then she looked it over, patting it and turning it around to make sure it was fine. Ron looked at the axe, seeing the small dent in it.  He set it down and stood on it to bend it back into place.  It was better but still not perfect.  It was still a useable weapon.  He leaned it against the wall, then got up to annoy her some more.  He saw a large sapphire and a large emerald nearby, floating them into the cave.  The dragon tried to snatch one but missed.  Ron smirked at her.  "That's what you get for having us trapped in here."  He pulled Dawn back and held them.  "Okay, let's go back over that gem lecture.  We can always toss them back at her."

She nodded, taking the emerald to look it over.  "It's got a crack."

"A flaw?" Ron asked, taking it to look over.  "It's got six of them.  Point them out."  She nodded, using her wand tip to point at them.  She got five.  "Nearly.  The last is on the top if it matters."

She found it and grinned, running a finger across it.  "There."

"Good job.  Now test it for magic taint.  Remember, the flaws can hide magic."  She nodded casting the spell carefully.  He caught the tip of her wand, shaking his head.  "No?"

"No.  You said the last two words wrong, you were doing a transform spell. I didn't want to deal with a small dragon in here since it had been under a dragon for so long."  She nodded, so he released her wand and started again.  He scowled so she sighed and shook her head, handing it back.  "Okay, watch me," he said, casting it slowly and carefully.  He made sure he pronounced each word carefully for her benefit.  She nodded, looking at the glow.  "What do you see?"

"A curse," she said happily.  "In that main flaw.  It was sloppily spell cleaned."

"Good job," Charlie said sarcastically.  "She'll try for us as long as you have those."

"I'll throw them at her in a minute.  She might as well learn something while we're stranded," Ron said patiently.  "Alex made me when we were captured by a demon and the few vampires it was keeping as pets."  He held it up, looking at the crack.  "Actually, the curse is all over, Dawn. It's just very faint.  The flaw trapped the magic because it's a rough surface and not natural.  It's a stress break it looks like.  Wanna see, Charlie?"  He shrugged and held out a hand, accepting the stone.  "The green is the curse, it's not tripped, just exposed."

"What sort is it?" he asked.

"That's what I'm still working on," Ron admitted.  "It looks like a disease but it's very old by the faintness."

Charlie handed it back.  "Is it in the books or whatever you guys use?"

Ron shook his head.  "We mostly go on legends and write our own books.  I haven't seen this one yet."  He held it up and smirked.  "Oooh, yeah.  This one was done by a very mean woman.  It's got female and blood spots on it.  So it'll make her feel worse during womanly times if I'm interpreting right."  He let Dawn see it.  "Can you tell?"

She did what she had been doing, and he turned it around for her.  "Oh, there's the blood."  She looked at the small symbols and smirked.  "It's a PMS curse."

"Wonderful," Charlie said dryly.  "At least I won't be bothered by that one."  He shifted some.  "What about the other one?"  Ron picked up the sapphire and cast the reveal charm, then quickly tossed it back at the dragon.  "What was it?"

"A real disease curse with fever and death," he said grimly.  "I'm not taking the chance that she can activate it."  He looked around and found another few weapons and some armor, calling them in.  "Okay, now check them and do the cleaning spell once you've figured out what curses are on them."

Dawn sighed but got to her knees to move over to them and look them over.  She carefully cast the reveal charm and found the sword to be charmed, but the armor was normal.  "Can we use these, Ron?"

"No," he snorted.  "A tin can isn't proof against something that big.  Maybe something half her size, but not at her size."

"The chest plate's got a hole in it anyway," Charlie pointed out.

"Plus it's pretty thin," Ron offered.  He picked up a helmet and looked it over.  He took out the skull and tossed it back into the other room, then handed it to Charlie.  "For your head."  Charlie glared at him so he beamed.  "You're the one who got hit on it."

"Fine," he said, putting it beside him.  Maybe he'd figure out a way to use it as a distraction.  He heard a crunch and looked out again.  "That wasn't nice.  I'm sure his family would've wanted his head, dear."  The dragon snorted at him, then sniffled a few times.

"Anyone bleeding?"

"My leg's not," Ron told him. "It's clotted.  Dawn?"

"Due any day now but not today," she offered, looking at the next piece of armor in line.  "This one's got a charm for location."

"People know where we are," Ron reminded her, thinking about it.  "Hey, Charlie, can we do a trojan horse in reverse?  Make one run?"

Charlie considered it, then nodded.  "Possibly.  It might not last long and she'd have to be back on her nest."  That got another steam, making them choke.  "Is there a bigger cave?"

"Yeah, about two to the right, but that takes us farther from the door," Ron said, feelng around for more empty spots in the walls.  "Or on the other side of the cavern.  There's one that's got a few split off areas, like rooms."

"Any chance of an exit?"

"Well, we could *blast* our way out," Ron said dryly.  "Unfortunately I don't know how Harry does his doorway thing since he does it in snake."

"Doorway thing?" Charlie asked.

"Snape found it and taught it to him.  He can outline a doorway shaped space and explode only the things inside the doorway.  We used it when we had to retrieve Philip in the woods."

"Oh."  He considered it.  "You don't know what it is in human?"

"No.  I know he draws with his wand, then with some blood, then he marks a big 'x' in the center of the doorway and hisses."  He shrugged.  "Not that helpful.  He's at his last game"

"That does give us a few options.  You guys know some destructive stuff?" Charlie asked.  Ron and Dawn both nodded.  "If we collapsed part of the back of the cave...."

"She'll kill us.  We'd have to be out there to do it," Ron told him. Charlie groaned as he shifted positions.  "Besides, I'd have to find the exact spot.  Otherwise I could bring it down on all of us."

"Point," Charlie agreed quietly.  "You're good at offensive stuff, Ron, any other ideas?"

"Distraction so we can move," Ron admitted.  "That sword, what's it charmed with?" he asked, looking at his fiance.

"It looks like a lightening charm and something to make it stick in your hands so you can't drop it during battle."  He held out a hand so she handed it over, letting his more experienced eye look it over.

"It's got a piercing one too," Ron said thoughtfully.  He looked outside, then at Charlie.  "Will you still like me if I have to do something really mean to get us out of here, as long as I don't kill her or the majority of the nest?"

Charlie considered it.  "Only if you pick the smallest egg," he admitted.

"Sure," Ron agreed.  "If it comes down to it."  He looked at the rest of the armor.  "Clean that location charm, Dawn."

"His family probably put it on there."

"Then his family probably knew where he died already," Ron pointed out.  "It's older armor, dear."  She sighed and cleaned that off, then sent it back out to the main room.  He felt a shiver of magic flowing around them and concentrated on it.  Then it suddenly broke.  "Well, we had some notice, but they gave up after a moment."  He stood up and looked out their hole, watching the dragon check her nest.  "Charlie, how would you do the distraction?"

"Probably not too hard," he admitted.  "A running, furry something that would be food."  He looked at the helmet beside him.  "That's not that big or that heavy so maybe something like a small goat?  We use a lot of those on the preserve."  He stood up to look out there too.  "Where's the one across the way?"  Ron pointed at the dark slit.  "It's fairly narrow."

"Behind that is something really nice, but it's going to be a tight fit," Ron agreed.  "If we can't get out then we'll have to try.  We can blast a few inches of wall if we need to.  That shouldn't bring down the roof if we shave some off."

"Then we'll let you go first.  If you won't fit, then Dawn's chest won't and neither will my gut," Charlie said, clapping him on the back.  "Whenever you're ready, Ron."

"Sure."  Ron looked at the helmet, then at him.  "I suck at transfiguration."

"Fine."  Charlie changed the helmet into a baby goat, letting it out and giving it a shove toward the doorway.  The dragon sniffed then went after it.  They ran for the other cavern, Ron bringing the sword with him.  It was too tight a fit, so he pulled his wand and expanded the doorway.  They fell inside just as the dragon made a grab for Dawn, which made her scream.  Charlie held her, letting her calm down.  "You're fine, Dawn.  You're safer now."

Ron looked around, then nodded.  "Yeah, she is.  Put her in that first room on the right.  There's some old hay in there."  Charlie nodded, leading her that way.  Ron looked at the dragon, who was eating the baby goat.  He took a look around the nest, finding something odd.  "Who had a grenade launcher?" he muttered, pulling it in to look at.  She tried to stop him but he smirked at her.  "Yes, I'm faster.  I've got big brothers who steal food."  He sat down to look it over.  It was still loaded.  They'd keep that in mind for a wall or something.  Charlie would kill him if he destroyed the dragon with it.   He propped it against the wall, getting up to glance out again.  He saw a human peeking in and waved at them.  It drew the dragon's attention to him and the human nodded before disapparating.  The dragon looked back at the 'pop' but no one was there.  She got up to sniff around the entrance to her cave but she still couldn't find anyone else to eat.  She plopped back down on her nest and looked around, then settled in for a nap.  It was apparently going to be a very long wait.

***

Molly looked up as the head of Species came out of her floo, giving him an odd look.  "What's happened?"

"Well, we know Ron's fine."

"Xander said Ron called Tipsy, they're only trapped."  She put down her book.  "No new news?"

"We went up to check on them and Ron waved at one of our people from the hidden alcove he was in.  Unfortunately the dragon's nesting so it's going to be a few days probably.  We can send in supplies if we have to," he assured her when she started to scowl.  "We've already called Charlie's boss and he's sending someone up through the floo system in Europe, then he'll apparate over here and we'll take him up there.  For right now, we've got to wait."

"Why are you more panicked than I am?  I'm their mother."

"We figured you'd be in a hysterical panic by now," he admitted.   "Alex is fine as well by the way."

"He was injured?"

"We sent him to see if he could help.  His mate barely got him out of there after the dragon slapped him into a wall."

"Could you use Harry?" she suggested.

"No, we can't risk Mr. Potter. His coaches made that very clear when we called them to give him an update.  They said he could only be killed during a game until his contract wore out."  She chuckled a bit at that.  "As far as we know, they're still fine.  We'll send people in to rescue them as soon as we can.  For now though, we've got to wait.  Want to come back and wait in Arthur's office?"

"Oh, no, dear.  It's terribly cramped you know."  She picked up her book and a glass of milk.  "I'll be here.  My boys are very creative and Ron's a good one at strategy, they'll be fine.  Alex is teaching Ron to be just like him after all."

The head of Species grinned.  "Thank you for being so understanding, Molly."

"Don't worry, I'm leaving the complaining to Charlie.  He was supposed to go back tomorrow you know."  She smiled and he shivered.  "So do have fun with him."

"Fine.  Leave me to the lions.  Do ya think that if I went up there and got hurt he'd take it easy on me?"  She shook her head with a smirk.  "Fine.  Thanks, Molly.  We'll call once we know further or with updates."  He headed for the floo and went back to work, hoping for that tamer to be in finally.  It'd been a few hours.  Didn't they like Charlie enough to hurry up to save him?

***

"Charlie, you alive mate?" a male voice called.

Ron went back to the entry of their hiding spot. "Yeah, we're all fine but he's napping with Dawn at the moment," he called back.

"Who're you?"

"His little brother.  Who else would you expect to be in here with him and my fiance?"

"Oh, hey Ron.  You all good so far?"

"I've got a gore on the back of my leg, Charlie's got a bump on his head.  The cave's shielded."

"I noticed.  I've got some travel rations if you want them."

"Please.  Got water too?"

"Sure.  How's the best way to get it in to you?"

"Distract her with something else to pounce," Ron said wisely.  He floated up a stone, making the mother dragon shriek and lunge at it, so the pack floated in without notice.  He let it go and dragged the pack inside.  "Thanks, man, I got it.  Is there anything else?  Blankets maybe?"

"Nah, I didn't think about it.  You sure you're all right?"

"Yup, just fine.  Even though Charlie won't let me jump my girl for more than a hug."

"Ron!" Dawn shouted.

The man outside laughed.  "Good on you, Ron, sounds like she's a feisty one, like the momma in here.  Any ideas yet?"

"Short of an egg sacrifice?  Nope, not yet.  If the shields were down, we could apparate out," he offered.

"Wish I could, Ron, but not likely."

"I know," he groaned. "I'd disappear, mate, she's getting riled up."  He heard a pop and withdrew, bringing the pack with him. He sat down to look at the supplies.  "We've got energy bars, water, a few pain killing potions, and floo powder," he called. He pulled to something on the bottom and gave it an odd look.  "Plus baby wipes for some reason."

"Good toilet paper," Charlie said as he came out.  "Was it one of the guys I work with?"  Ron shrugged.  "Didn't see him?"

"Nope, he was more than smart enough not to stand in the doorway."  He held up an energy bar, but Dawn snatched it and sat down to nibble.  "Sorry, Dawn.  If I had known it'd be this way I wouldn't have suggested you come.  Then you could be studying for your potions test tomorrow morning."

"I'd rather be here," she noted, taking another bite.  "Water?"  He handed over one of the water skins. "How many of these do we have?"

"Four."

"Wonderful."  She took a little sip and carefully closed it again.  "Any new ideas?"

"Not yet. He more wanted a status report."  He grinned at her, then at Charlie.  "You're sure I can't do more than cuddle her?"

"Very.  I don't need to hear that and I doubt the mother dragon would like it very much."  Some steam floated in.  "Oh, quit!" he called.  "Nasty bitch."

"Charlie!" Dawn complained.

"Her, not you!  She's earned it," he assured her.

"I agree," Ron offered.  "She is."  He unwrapped a bar and started to nibble, then grimaced.  "Eww.  What are these?"

"Granola bars."

"It's the only food we've got, Ron.  Eat," Charlie ordered.

"Sure."  He took larger bites so he wouldn't be tortured for so long, then drank some of his water, retreating to a wall to sit and think.  "We'll either need an external distraction or we'll need to do something like hold her nest hostage to get out," he decided.  "Once we're out of sight, we'd better be ready to run like hell, no matter which way it goes."  They nodded.  "Any other bright ideas, Charlie?"

"No, those are the only ones I see, Ron.  We'll figure it out tonight."  Ron nodded.  "Where is she?"

"She was on her nest."

Charlie got up and headed for the doorway, glancing out.  "She's gone," he hissed.  Ron gathered up everything and the weapons, heading out after Charlie.  Charlie stuck his head out of the cave and was nearly crisped by her steam this time.  She captured him and was pulling him toward her mouth when Ron threw the sword, managing to hit her on the paw and make her drop him.  He was knocked back out.

"Dawn, retreat, get him!"  Ron cast a stunning spell, making the dragon roar and rear up, going to her full height to pull in air for a real fire.  He barely dodged it and made it back into the alcove, with the pack.  She did loose the fire after him, singing his backside and his hair, but he managed to put himself out with some rolling around on the floor.  "I'm tired of this shit," he decided, standing up and glancing back at himself.  Only some minor singeing, nothing that couldn't be washed out hopefully.  At least he didn't feel burned.  He checked Charlie, shaking his head.  "He's out for a good, long one.  You okay?"  She nodded, starting to tear up.  "Don't, Dawn.  After this is done, not during it."  He sat down, wincing a bit.  Maybe his skin was a bit singed after all.  He considered it, then looked at the small pouch of floo powder that was right on top of the pack.  "That's for communication only," he noted to himself.  "Dawn, call Snape, tell him where you are and what's going on.  Tell him you'll be back in time but we're not getting out until tomorrow."

She nodded, creating a small fire and taking a few pinches of the powder to toss in t it.  "Professor Snape's quarters, Hogwarts."  His head spun into the small fire.  "Sir, I'm sorry to report that we're presently trapped by a dragon, Charlie's knocked out, and Ron's got his evil planning face on," she said with a sniffle.  "I'm not going to be in tomorrow until late so I'm going to miss your class and test."

"You're where!" he demanded.  "Weasley!"

"Behind you," Ron said dryly.  He shifted and waved.  "Hi, sir.  Charlie wanted help, we thought we'd just be watching but then she captured us.  We're safe for now, but it's not going to be before tonight to get us out of here.  That's why I had her call.  How's Alex's head?"

"Why would that matter?"

"He was sent right after we got captured, but we think he got knocked out," Dawn said, still sniffling a bit.  Ron pinched her, giving her a long stare.  "Fine, after we're free I'll cry, but then you'd better be holding, mister."

"Fine, I'm used to crying women," Ron pointed out dryly.  He looked at Snape.  "Can you do us a huge favor and tell the Headmaster where we are and tell Hagrid that Species has lost some people so his interview might be later than he thinks."

"Very well," he said grimly.  "I am not pleased by this occurrence, Miss Summers."

"Hey, not exactly happy here either," she pointed out bitterly.   "Nearly gotten eaten twice now!" she said, her voice starting to raise in pitch.

"Dawn, no hysterics either," Ron said patiently.  "Not until we're free or unless you're injured."  She glared at him.  He stared her down. "I'm being practical.  No matter how much I want to shit my pants, it'd only make it harder to move."

"While that's very...wise, Mr. Weasley, I did not need to hear that either.  Why have you not contacted the others?"

"Because dragons in heat and laying a nest shied," Ron said bitterly.  "I think I hit Tipsy earlier when we first got captured."  He looked over but Dawn was staring out the doorway again.  "Can you tell Professor Flitwick she still has some problems with the discern stuff?" he hissed.  Snape nodded quickly.  "Thanks.  So she'll be back but it'll be later tomorrow most likely."

"Fine.  I'll inform the Headmaster of her unavoidable absence."  His head disappeared.

"I don't have that much trouble, Ron."

"Dawn, you nearly turned something into a baby dragon earlier," he said dryly.  "For my own peace of mind, please work on that one more often?"  She scowled and stomped back to take care of Charlie.  "Thanks.  If and when we go, you're in charge of getting him out of here.  I'll have the weapon and the pack."  She nodded.  "Good girl.  You take care of him and I'll be watching."  He moved closer to the doorway, flipping off the large head trying to get in there.  "Nyah!" he said, sticking out his tongue.  "Stupid bitch, you need to be fucked with a unicorn's horn."  The dragon snorted steam at him then went back to her nest, which Ron rearranged on her, making her shriek in outrage and work on getting her eggs perfect again.  He smirked at her when she glared at him, waving cheerfully.  "That's why I'm a Weasley, I'm annoying."

***

Snape walked into the Great Hall and up to the teacher's table, pausing in front of the Headmaster.  "I've just heard from Weasley and his mate," he said bitterly.

"What's going on now?" Madam Sprout asked with a touch of irritation and fondness.

"They're apparently trapped by a dragon who's laying a nest.  They're shielded, can't get out, and are working on it.  She said she'd be about a day later, probably by tomorrow evening."

Dumbledore groaned and shook his head.  "Cumnock?"  Snape nodded.  "Wonderful.  Charlie took them I suppose?"

Snape nodded.  "Apparently.  They said he'd unconscious.  Mr. Weasley was reminding her not to burst out crying at that moment.  He was not being very comforting, but fairly practical for once."

"That's fine.  Is she going to be allowed a makeup, Professor?" Dumbledore asked.

"No, I do not allow makeups, you know that, Headmaster."  He looked at Hagrid.  "He also said that the Species Department had lost a few people so you may want to check on your appointment next week."

"Thank you kindly, Professor.  I'll do that tomorrow morning."  He smiled at him.  "Ron all right then?"

"So far.  He seemed a bit...singed around the edges when he moved."  He went to his own seat, sitting down calmly.  He looked down as a dragon hopped into his lap.  "Keelian, you are much too large for that. You are not meant to be a lap beast."  He put the dragon down, earing some pouting.  He glared at it and the baby steamer snorted at his ankles, which made him glare worse.  "Such fits mean you should be outside."  The dragon walked off, seeming to pout all the way to Madam Sprout, who loved him anyway.  He was allowed to curl up in her lap and even managed some treats when she 'dropped' things into her lap.

***

Ron had figured out which one they'd need to use.  It was her favorite one, she was always petting it.  He was sorry he had to do this to her, but it was necessary if they were going to get out of here.  Especially if they wanted to get out of here alive as opposed to some biological deposit she'd be laying in a few days.  He looked at the axe, which wasn't his best choice.  He almost wished he had thrown that one earlier.  Unfortunately she had snapped the sword in her fit after she hadn't gotten them.  He hefted it again.  It'd do but Xander would kill him if he didn't manage to get it back.  He searched the nest for another sword but he didn't see one.  He did see something long and pointy but it'd be harder to use an unfamiliar weapon.  Xander had at least shown him how to use his favorite weapons.  He noticed she was heading outside and nodded at Dawn, grabbing the pack while she cast a 'mobilus corpus' on Charlie so they could leave.  He snuck out, glancing around.  She was next to the doorway, sniffing something.

He floated the egg up, dancing it with the axe as they snuck toward the entry.  She saw him and let out a wailing shriek of anger.  "Let us go and you can have it back.  Don't and the last act I'll ever do is pierce the shell," he threatened.  He had been watching her all day.  She understood some of what they were saying.  "Back," he said, pulling the axe down to hold while the egg still floated.  He took a swing and she started to move closer so his next swing was closer.  "I said back!"  She backed up this time, looking very worried.  "Back further!"  He walked out and she continued to back up.  He nodded at Dawn, handing her the pouch of powder.  "Now, Dawn."  She created a small fire and tossed the powder into it, getting the Species department immediately.  "Come get her.  I've got her trapped.  Now if at all possible," he called.  Someone popped in immediately and pulled his wand to cast on the thing.  The mother wailed again but Ron put her egg next to her chin, unharmed and still very warm from her body heat.  The dragon fell asleep fondling it.  He looked at Charlie's coworker.  "Hi again," he said dryly.  He waved the axe.  "We're going back to Alex's.  Mum can come fuss at Charlie there."  He waved and they apparated off.

The handler looked at the dragon, then shook his head.  "Okay then.  I didn't know his brother was a mean shite like that," he said, patting the dragon's side.  "It's all right, love. We'll move you somewhere each and every egg is a precious and celebrated thing."  He called his bosses and the Species people to come help him move her.

***

Ron walked into the front room, finding Xander being babied on the couch.  "Call Mum, Charlie's knocked out from that wench.  We had to threaten her eggs to get free."  He tossed Draco the axe since Xander was lying down.  "It's safe, but it bent when she tried to stop us from rescuing it."

"Fine.  Thank you, Ron," Alex said quietly.  "You all right?  And Dawn?"

"Dawn's having her promised break-down so I'm going to comfort her.  Charlie's in the kitchen on the table from the way Dawn was heading."  He waved.  "We'll chat later.  Get better, Alex."  He headed after his girl, who was sobbing at the table next to Charlie's hip.  "Hey now," he soothed. "It was scary but I'm sure you've seen worse."  He got her up and outside, taking her out to sit on the bench in the garden.   She continued to cry but that was fine with him.  It was all over with, he could almost cry in relief himself.  He probably would be crying when his mother got there to baby Charlie, so he'd hold off until then.  He shifted so he was sitting sideways and straddling the bench, pulling her against his chest to rest against him.  She curled up against him, letting it all out.  "Shh, we're safe," he whispered.  "You might even make your Potions test."

She pinched him, then pouted up at him.  "Hold me?"

"Of course.  Aren't I?"  She nodded, shifting a bit closer, basically sitting in his lap.  "There's a good girl.  She's fine, he's fine, we're all fine and she'll be going somewhere she's loved and wanted, where she can't eat helpless young women who turn men's mind to mush."  She snorted, but it did calm her down.  "You do.  I look at you and my mind's oatmeal, like those stupid bars from dinner."  He looked inside.  "Hey, can we have some real food?  All we had were some energy bars and water for dinner.  That's worse than gruel or bread and water as a punishment."

One of the aunts quit checking on Charlie and went to fix them some real food.  She also muttered the whole way about cocky men and curse breakers being too much to stand rationally.  By the time Molly and Arthur got there, it was done so they let Arthur bring it out to check on that son.

"Thanks, Dad," Ron said with a happy grin as he dug in.  "Dawn, food?" he suggested, waking her since she was in a light dose.

"No.  No food."  She got out from under the plate, heading inside to hug Molly and tell her what had happened.  She couldn't eat until after she had done that.  She ran into Xander and hugged him.  "Is it always that scary?"

"Sometimes.  Sometimes worse, sometimes easier," he admitted.  "Another reason you're staying in school and you're going to be learning all you can from Finius."  He fluffed her hair and grinned at her.  "Especially that reveal spell Sev said you're getting wrong.  Over breakfast we'll go back over that again.  Go up to bathe and to bed."  She nodded, heading up to do that.  "Ron?"

"Eating."

"Fine.  Once you're done, head back.  Remember, you're going to be signing forms all day."  Ron let out a groan but came in with his plate and fork, heading up to bathe and go to bed, probably with Dawn but he didn't really care as long as they were careful and she didn't complain about more than his cold feet.  He grinned at Molly, who was rolling her eyes.  "I got knocked out, sorry."

"Fine, Alex.  You be a good boy.  Or at least try."  She patted him on the cheek and took her son with her.  Charlie was just now starting to come around so they took him to the hospital first, and then called his boss to remind him Charlie would be a few more days late.

Xander grinned at his aunts.  "Another problem out of the way," he said happily.  "Roast what?"

She smacked his hand with a wooden spoon.  "Sandwiches for lunch tomorrow, Alex.  You should go to be too, and no playing with Draco tonight.  Not with the headache you've had all night."  He sighed and nodded, trudging off to tell Draco he couldn't be loved into the mattress that night.  Maybe Draco could find away around that.

He Needs It.

Xander looked at Ron, who was pleading.  "We're leaving in two days, Ron!"

"Yeah, but I want to see Charlie before we go.  Just to make sure he's all right and all that," he pleaded.  "Please, Alex?  I'm already packed but the last of my laundry.  It shouldn't take more than a few hours?  Please!" he begged.  "Besides, it would get you out of Draco's hair so he could finish off the healing potions."

"Fine," he complained.  "Back yard, now."

"Yes, Alex.  Thank you."  He gave him a long hug then headed to grab his jacket and boots, heading down the back stairs to the back yard.

Xander looked up.  "Why me?" he complained.  He headed out into the back yard, going to take Ron to the preserve.  He took his hand and moved them, sending them to the welcome center.  He nodded at Ron.  "He wanted to check on his brother to make sure his head's still hard and intact."

"You must be Charlie's brother," the woman in the office said happily.  "Let me call him for you.  Apparated?"

"Kinda.  I'm in deep because we apparated away from a dragon and they suspended my license," Ron said bitterly.  "All political bullshit.  They called me dangerous and reckless."  Xander slapped him across the back of his head.  "Sorry, didn't mean to swear in front of a lady," he said with a shy-boy grin.

"It's all right," she promised with a grin of her own.  "They all do it now and then."  She pushed a button on the board in front of her.  "You should be fine if you wanted to wait outside.  That way Charlie doesn't have to be mushy in front of me."  She winked and they grinned, heading out to wait.  She shook her head.  "Poor Charlie, being caught up in politics.  No wonder he came back even though he was on bed rest."

Ron beamed as Charlie came out of the woods, looking a bit confused.  "I thought I'd check on you before we went to the city."  He gave him a hard hug, back-slapping and all. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Ron.  Hey, Alex."  They shook hands.  "Wanna come back to my hut?"  They nodded, following him back.  "I'm still on medical leave but that's fine.  It's not much but it's home and no fussing people are around."  He opened the door, waving them inside.  "Don't mind the mess.  I never clean.  It gets trampled by a baby when I do."  He shut the door, then opened it and let a small lizard looking creature out.  "You know better," he called after it.  He flopped down on his couch, looking at his brother.  "Why'd you bring Alex?"

"Because the Ministry decided to yank my apparation licence after we got you out of that mess with the dragon," Ron said bitterly.  "It's all political.  They hate Alex and that he can do things they can't and don't know how to even detect."  He sat down beside his brother.  "How's your head?  Mum'll want to know."

"It's fine, Ron.  Still a bit of ringing in my ears but I'll be fine.  I've had worse."  He patted him on the arm.  "How long before you go?"

"Monday, after Dawn's game," he said with a smirk.  "She's gonna be great.  We talked Oliver into teaching her some stuff last weekend.  She still thinks it's only a game," he offered, "but she's learning quickly.  Besides, she's the more experienced keeper in the school.   They're playing Gryff.  We're all going."

"Which side you gonna cheer for?" Charlie teased.

"Her, she'd kick my ass, man."

"You're probably right," Alex said dryly.  He nodded. "I'm going out onto the porch so you guys can catch up.  Call me when you're done, Ron."

"Sure, Alex.  Thanks."  He grinned at Charlie once he was gone.  "Draco's been wanting left alone anyway.  He's making our healing potions."

"I'm sure he's happier now," Charlie said sarcastically.  "So, what else is going on?"

***

Xander looked around the porch of the small hut, then felt the familiar tingle start in his spine.  He glanced around.  "Here?  Someone put a tomb here?" he complained quietly.  He glanced around again, trying to get a directional signature, but he was too surrounded here.  The woods had seen things die inside it and it was blocking what he was feeling.  So he got down off the porch and headed in the direction he felt like, it was usually at least close to where he should be going.  He finally got among the trees and felt it clearly, heading that way instead. He passed another tamer, or at least another guy wearing jeans and a sweaty t-shirt.  "Where's the tomb around here?" he asked.  The guy gave him a really odd look so he shrugged.  "I'm a curse breaker, I was delivering Charlie's brother for his amusement."

"We don't entomb the former dragons.  Why?"

"Because there is a tomb around here, I can feel it," he said with a small frown.  "Never mind, if I find something I'll make sure you guys get part of whatever I find."  He continued off, heading for the power he could feel.  It was dark and evil, nasty and slimy feeling really.  He found a few trees in his way but walking around them wasn't too bad.  He passed by a dragon and warded himself quickly, remembering where he was.  It wasn't just the thrill of the hunt this time, it was the thrill of not being hunted by something that could eat him.  He passed by another tamer.  "What's in this direction?"

"A few more nests," the woman asked, frowning at him. "Who're you?"

"I delivered Charlie's brother for a visit, but there's an evil something that way," he said, pointing in the direction he was going.  He looked at her, seeing her confusion.  "I'm a curse breaker, it's my affinity."

"Oh."  She shrugged.  "Not a clue unless it's one of the dragons."

"No, it's not something living.  I'd be able to tell that," he said thoughtfully.  "Fine, I guess I'll figure that out."  He took off at a jog.  It was very powerful if he had felt it that far off and things like that usually made people uneasy or desperate.  If the tamers and the dragons weren't reacting to it, it had been here a very long time and was only radiating now and then.  That was probably not a good sign; most things that radiated like that were calling out for new food sources.  He wondered if they had lost a lot of dragons in that area.  He continued on, passing by a few more nests that were drawing him but not like that tomb.  No matter how much of a jewel affinity he had, the one against evil was stronger.  He could ignore pretty things that got him paid to deal with this issue.  He found a small lump of ground, a mound really, and a stone door leading into it.  Yup, this was it.  He looked around the mound first, trying to see if any other curse breaker had left a sign of being there.  If so, he'd leave it alone.  They did have some honor, or at least he did.  Some of the curse breakers would cheerfully rob from each other for better pays. Those were also the ones who died faster, which meant he got to meet them at a whole different point in their life.

He couldn't find a mark anywhere, nor could he feel a magical 'sign' that some of them put up to claim spots.  That would have given him a summary of what this thing was.  It was intriguing but he could feel the evil oozing out now.  Whatever this tomb held was starving for fresh meat and it had focused on him.  He cast a 'reveal' charm on the door, the usual first step in any investigation of a new tomb.  The words that came up were some he was vaguely familiar with.  He pulled out his translating glasses to look them over.  An invitation.  "Enter ye who might visit with the God of Darkness for ye shall know no sweeter pleasure than his company," he read slowly.  "Not good.  Definitely not a good sign," he muttered.  "It's either a pretentious wizard or something that a Slayer should handle."  He considered it and cast a second charm, this one to reveal any preservation spells.  Things that were keeping this 'God of Darkness' asleep or in stasis.  Nothing.  Not a single other spell on the door other than the invitation.  At least from this side.  Doors like this had a nasty habit of having all the spells on the inside, like the one that made it disappear once he was inside.  He put a hand on the wall of the tomb, overgrown with plants in the time it had been here, and shivered in fear.  This was wholly evil.  Very evil and very old.  He set a small fire and pulled out some of his emergency contact floo powder.  "Gruinth, Paris Gringotts."

A goblin's head appeared in the small fire.  It looked at the spot behind him, then at his favorite curse breaker.  "We've been meaning to get you to get into that thing.  Do so.  You can keep whatever doesn't need to be stored."

"What is it?  There's no markers or signs."

"That's because none of them have come back out," he said grimly.  "We need this one gone, Mr. Dumass.  It is your job since you are so good."

"Oooh, flattery," he said sarcastically.  "I'm happy you finally learned that.  How many decades did it take?"

"Seven.  Now get inside and figure out what that is.  It's dangerous.  I can tell that from here and you're the best we have at handling dangerous things."  His head disappeared, leaving a very dissatisfied Xander in front of the tomb.

Xander tossed down another bit of powder.  "Charlie Weasley."  Nothing.  "Ron Weasley."  Again nothing.  "Damn it!"  Where was his apprentice when he needed him?  He looked at the door again, casting every reveal charm he could.  Hopefully it would show him any spells that might be on the other side.

***

Charlie and Ron walked back into the welcome center/office, smiling and happy.  "What's wrong now?"

"That one who brought your brother is a curse breaker?" Charlie's boss asked.  He nodded, sighing a bit.  Ron was groaning by now.  "He met a few people and asked where the tomb was. He was wandering back toward where the flying ones were, but he was shielded from dragons noticing him.  I'd like a copy of that spell if possible."

"We found it after the one that trapped us," Ron told him.  "Which way?"  Charlie pointed behind him.  "Okay, we should probably find him.  If it drew Xander like that it was either focused, unholy, or Druscilla."  Both older men stared at him.  "A vamp who likes him.  Don't ask.  She tried to break in the other night while Xander was gone," he said dryly.  "Thinks he's hers and all that rot.  Let's go, Charlie.  We can chat on the way and you can see a bit of what I do," he said with a smirk for him.  "Since I saw what you did."

"Sure, Ron."  He waved at his boss.  "We'll find him."  He led the way out, heading to where the boss had said, back where the mountainous flying dragons lived.  "What do you think it was?"

"I'm hoping it was a rich haul we can give you part of," Ron admitted. "It wouldn't be fair otherwise and maybe then you'd get a new couch that didn't double as a bed."  Charlie snorted but gave him a little shove.  "Sorry."  He grinned at him.  "True though."

"Brat," Charlie said fondly. "No broom?"

"Nope.  It's packed already," he admitted.  "Dawn is going to be pissed if I miss her first game of the year."

"Yeah, and she can probably kick your ass," Charlie agreed dryly.

Ron smirked at him.  "Only if she gets sneaky and I'll withhold her chocolate and sex rations."

"That'd just make you suffer, Ron."

"Not really."  He beamed at him.  "She's having her cycle at the moment.  Luna's keeping her moon potion in her things, just in case."

Charlie patted him on the back.  "It's good that you appreciate her friends, Ron.  Remember, no playing with Lovegood's demons.  Mum would get really upset."

"I don't want to play with her hellhound anyway.  It's got terrible gas. It farts more than Fred."

Charlie burst out in giggles.  That was just so bad!

***

Xander finally gave up tapping his foot and decided to open the door slightly, just in case something popped out at him.  He had been ordered but he still didn't like this one bit.  If he didn't the goblins may make his life miserable for a few years and he'd get bad prices on everything.  Nothing popped up as he pushed open the door a bit farther so he opened it all the way, leaving it open. There were torches, he could see them in the dim sunlight.  He lit one with his wand and looked around from the doorway.  No traps that he could see. A sarcophagus, but no traps.  There were bits and pieces of art here and there in the room, nothing too grand though.  No jewels, just some art, some vases, a few tapestries and a few chairs.  He peered around the edge of the door, still not walking inside fully.  He knew the door would seal itself once he was in there.  He didn't want to take that chance.  He backed up and made his own marker out of a piece of wood, sticking it prominently on the right side of the tomb, in the middle of some rocks.  It gave his name, an evil marking, a dead person marking, and two warning markings.  Not that Ron would follow those if he found it.  Ron wasn't the most careful of people.  He looked around again.  Nothing had changed.  "I knew I should have brought a weapon," he complained. He patted himself down, finding a shrunken carrier in one pocket.  He pulled it open and smiled, sniffling a bit.  "I love Draco.  He tucked shrunken weapons in my jacket.  He understands me," he said happily, choosing his katana.  It grew in his hand and the rest were put into his pocket.

He walked inside.  The door shut behind him.

"Oh, bloody hell," he complained.  The torch had went out.

***

Ron's head popped up, making Charlie give him an odd look as he headed off at a dead run for the evil he could feel.  Xander had sensitized him to it.  And of course, that's where Xander would be, right in the center of it.  He heard Charlie coming behind him and waved at him.  "Slow down and follow.  If it's an attack I don't want you up front," he called back before putting on a burst of speed.  The evil feeling had ended.  Either Xander was trapped or Xander had killed it.  He found the tomb and paused to look at the marker Xander had left.  "Wonderful," he said bitterly.  "Alex?"  No answer.  "Alex?  Come on, no more playing.  If you're alive, give a shout!"  He noticed the reveal charms were still active so that meant he had to be alive, spells like that wouldn't last past the person's death.  He walked around the tomb, giving Charlie the time to catch up.  "He's inside," he said as he joined him at the door.

"I never knew this was here and I worked here for five years when I first started," he complained.

"It's also not as strong now as Alex marked down," Ron said bitterly.  "I'm guessing it's one of those that traps people and then slowly devours them somehow."  Charlie looked a little green so he shrugged.  "Some traps are like traps to catch dinner.  Since it's not as strong as Alex marked and the evil feeling stopped when, I'm guessing here, the door closed, it's got him.  I've got to go in."  He hit himself on the head.  "I don't have a weapon!" he said impatiently.  He patted himself down, finding a stake.  That was something at least.  He found another one and handed that one to Charlie. "In case it comes out."  He found his knife, which was very nice but still only about eight inches long. At least it was some sort of weapon.  He looked at the doorway again.  "God of Darkness.  Another one?"  Charlie gave him another odd look.  "By Xander's stories about every seventh tomb is marked as 'here lies the God of Darkness."  He shrugged.  "A lot of people had very overblown egos."  He pushed open the door, looking around.  He couldn't see Xander at all.  "Stay out here, Charlie."

"Fat chance, Ron.  This thing is endangering my charges."  He looked around too.  "I don't see him."

"Which means there's a cloaking spell.  He's in here but we can't see or hear him until we step inside, which is part of the trap.  Xander, if you can hear me, move something."  Nothing moved, which did start Ron to worrying.  Or as Draco said it, turned him into a mother hen from Hell.   He walked in and waved at Charlie to stay.  Of course his brother didn't listen.  As soon as they were both inside, the door shut and a trap door opened, sending them down to where Xander was browsing around.  "The casket upstairs isn't the real one?"

"No, it probably is," Xander admitted, grinning at him. "I found the way up a few minutes ago.  How long has it been?"

"I felt it shut off about ten minutes ago," Ron admitted, checking his watch.  It seemed to be running at the correct speed.  "I don't think there's a temporal component," he said with a small grin and a shrug.   "So, God of the Darkness?"

"Yeah, I'm figuring it's either some sort of demon or some jumped-up wizard."  He led the way back upstairs, pausing to look at the casket.  "My glasses aren't working so some magic has been damped down."

"Is this Dracula?" Ron asked, staring at the coffin.  "It's about the right part of the world."

"Nah, Buffy dusted him a few years back.  Bugs taste gross," he admitted with a small grin.  "No, this is a sheep of a whole different color. Vlad was annoying, lonely, and a bragger. This is evil."

"Aww, shit," Ron complained.  "Goblins?"

"Apparently they want him dead so they can have his nasty, gaudy crap," he offered, pointing at a vase on a shelf.

"Oh, no, I want to be far gone if you're going to fight this thing," Charlie complained, backing away.

"Go ahead," Xander said, pointing at the blank wall.   "If you can find it, you're stronger than he is."

"He'll have to die so we can open it," Ron told him, giving him a impatient look.  "Has he been snacking regularly on the dragons or people?"

"We've always got some deaths, usually to old age or fighting.  Nothing with *fang* marks."  He leaned against a wall, then yelped and moved when he felt something behind him moving.  "What is that!"

"I'd say it was skin," Xander admitted, coming over to touch the wall.  "Yeah, that's covered in skin.  There's probably bugs underneath it.  That's what you felt.  There's a chair so you can sit and wait if you want."  Charlie gave him another odd look so he grinned.  "He'll probably be up soon, he's got to be hungry if it let all three of us in.  Otherwise we wouldn't have felt the tomb at all."

"So sit down before you become a snack," Ron added with a bright grin.  "I'm going to be a full meal for it, but you'll be a hearty dessert or something."

"And I thought Bill was odd," he complained, sitting down as ordered.

"Alex warped him too," Ron said happily.  He looked at his trainer.  "The goblins really ordered us to?"

He nodded.  "They said they'd been trying to get someone down here, but I'm doubting it for some reason," he said dryly.  "Gruinth was not a happy goblin.  He did say we could keep most of the nasty, tacky crap since they only wanted the unholy stuff."  He pointed at some pictrograms on the wall.  "Go for it, Ron, you need the practice."

"I hate the language lessons," Ron complained as he walked over to start working on them.  These were pretty standard ones.  "Let's see.  Male, people bowing to him.  We have a knight on a horse with a lance through his chest.  We have a few more battles.  Apparently this guy fought a lot of them."  He looked at another section, frowning at it.  "We have demon, making a deal.   He's blowing it, or at the right height to do that.  He's got a halo in the next one.  Then he stands up and is taller than the people.  A few more knights.  A few maidens screaming and being carried off," he interpreted.

"Huh?" Charlie asked, getting up to look at them.  "He is."

"Earlier people didn't always read so they wrote out their stories in pictures.  It was more universally accepted," Xander reminded them, going back to looking at the sarcophagus. "We've got a name of a demon and it's unpronounceable.  Not a prayer to him, but a warning against him."  He looked back at the walls, looking at the end of them.  "Find a way to kill or maim, Ron."

"Sure, Alex."  He moved down the wall, finding the section with the last battle and the last maiden.  "Apparently he stole one last woman and took her to his castle, which was near here.  He was ...debauching the virgin by the picture when the villagers came in. The usual farm implements are drawn.  Pitch forks, shovels. The guy tried to run, the woman stabbed him in the chest with a pointy wood thing, or at least it looks like a pointy wood thing instead of a pointy metal thing.  The knife from earlier looked different.  Then he was drug here by a team of horses without a carriage and dropped in here, where they sealed him in so his hunger for young woman would go away.  When they came back, the cave was empty but the coffin, which held a sleeping him."  He looked behind him, noticing the top had moved.  He coughed and pointed at it.

Xander looked at the new crack, grinning and wiggling his fingers.  "Hi.  Let us go.  Before I have to kill you.  I should tell you I am an excellent demon hunter.  I perfected my skills on a hellmouth."  He moved back as the top came off and a beautiful woman came out.  "Why are they always pretty?"

"To draw and tempt," Ron reminded him.  "She's not half as pretty as Dawn or Draco.  Even he's prettier than she is."

Xander looked this creature over, then nodded.  "Good point.  Let me guess, you're one of his women?  Or are you a flaming transvestite demon?"

She let out a moan and rushed at him, fangs bared and mouth dripping with saliva.   Xander side-stepped her.  "Hold still!" she ordered.  He chuckled and hit her, knocking her down.  "You hit a woman?" she demanded.

"Well, yeah, when she's trying to eat me.  I gave up on chivalry in the last century, lady."  He grabbed the sword Ron tossed him.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  Wood or metal?"

"Hmm.  Not sure," Xander admitted.  "What sort of demon are you, lady?  Are you one that wood kills cleanly and mostly painlessly or steel?"

"Neither," she sneered as she stood up.  "Only those of my blood can kill me."

"Well, we're all human and to some that means we're all related," Ron said cheerfully.  "If not, I'm sure we can work around that."

"Ron!" Charlie said, giving him an odd look.  "What's gotten into you?"

"Seven years of practice fighting with Harry," he said with a smug look for his big brother.

"They taunted Snakey too," Xander said dryly.  "Ron told him if he was as ugly as Snakey, he'd kill himself."

"Ron," Charlie moaned, shaking his head.  "Mum's going to kill Harry for making you this way.  You know that, right?"

"Welllllll," Ron drawled.  He grinned again.  "She already knows.  She's known since the final battle."  He suddenly turned and punched the demon coming for him, sending her into a pile on the floor.  "Only my lady gets to nibble on me, bitch.  Get over it.  Xander's gay, I'm taken, and my big brother's got better taste than *you*."

She moaned and crawled away, looking at them.  "I'm sorry."  She ran up the hidden stairs, going to wake her master.

"She's going for the big guy now.  Ron, search and destroy down here."  He headed up after her, looking down in the coffin at the guy in there, then at her.  "He doesn't look very inviting.  Why did you take up with him?"  He staked the demon, but it screamed and reached for him.  "Huh, not wood.  So let's try steel."  He swung and cut off the arm, then looked at the guy.  "Hi, how are you?"  The man moaned as he got up, holding his stump.  "I'm Alex Dumass, you're wanted dead.  Sorry about this."  He attacked them both, driving them against a wall where he could feel a trap waiting.  It grabbed them for a moment, and he got them both in the chest, then swung at her head.  It came off and she shriveled up, falling to dust as she rapidly aged.  He looked at the struggling man, then backswung at him, having to take another swipe just as he got free.  His neck was really hard!  He chased him, getting in another one.  This demon crumbled and the door disintegrated, along with everything else in the tomb, leaving them with an empty pit and a mound overtop, with an open hole.  "Someone will have to clean this before a dragon claims it," he told Charley.  "It still reeks of unholiness."  Charley just numbly nodded at him.  "Did you fall and hurt your head more?"

"No," he said weakly.  "I was watching you.  You're very good with that sword."

"I could make a crude comment that I'm good with many swords," he said with a smirk, "but I'm nicer than that to you Weasleys."  Ron snorted.  "Keep it up, *apprentice*, and see how many nasty jobs I can find for you.  Remember, someone's got to tend the outhouse and latrine system."

Charley laughed, giving him a hug and a clap on the back.  "You're mean, I like that about you.  Especially when you do it to Ron."  He looked around.  "We done?"

"Not quite," Ron admitted, pointing at the pile of stuff in the corner.  "What's that?"

"That would be," Xander said, walking over there to pick it up, "ah, the assorted crap off his victims.  Not much jewelry, some clothes and stuff."  He bundled everything up into a cloak and gave it to Charley.  "There, hold that."  He looked up.  "Have I ever taught you the rope ladder trick?"

"Is that like that Indian trick with the rope that stands upright?"

"Not quite," he admitted, casting a quiet spell. A rope ladder shot out of his wand, hooking into the wall around the opening.  "There we go.  Very handy in emergencies."  He wandered up, finding a few people standing there.  "The evil, unholy, nibbling thing is gone."  He helped Charley out, then Ron.  "There you go."  He uncast the rope and looked down in the hole, then at Ron.  "Forget something?"  Ron sighed and summoned the sword he had taken from him, handing it over hilt first.  "Thanks, Ron."  He checked his carrier then summoned his katana, going to clean it off on some nearby grass.  "Ah, better now," he admitted, sticking it on his back with a sticking charm.  "You'll need to clean it of the unholy stink before you let anything burrow in there," he told the nearest tamer.  "Otherwise I'm not sure if the thing can be tainting and that'd be a shame."  He walked Ron off.  "You done with your visit?"

"Sure.  Later, Charley!" he called, turning to wink, grin, and wave.  "See you soon.  Come to our village if you can for a few days."

"Sure, Ron," he called dryly, waving at him.  He saw one of the bosses and handed him the bundle.  "The stuff the demons stole off their meals."  He walked off, shaking his head.  Now he knew his brother was insane.  He was learning it from Alex!

"What just happened!" one tamer yelled after him.

"That was Alex Dumass," he called back, not turning around.  "There was some demon in there with his girlfriend."

"Fine," she sighed, shaking her head.  "I didn't know they were *all* like that."  She wandered off muttering as well, taking the bundle of stuff with her back to the office to drop it off.

***

Halfway around the world in Las Vegas, Greg Sanders, grinned at his boss as he came in.  "Hey, Grissom, what's wrong?"

"Two things," he said, looking at him.  "I'm still missing a sample."  A paper was handed over with a flourish.  "Thank you.  You applied to do field work and you're not following anyone around?"

"I got told to go away by Catherine.  She's got a headache."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "That's fine.  Grab your kit, I'm heading to an older scene.  We're looking for new evidence."  Greg beamed at him.  "How many more samples?"

"Eighty billion," he said dryly.

"Then you should probably do that one first.  The next scene when you've got time, you'll go with me."  Greg hugged him.  "You're welcome.  Get off me."  Greg let him go, grinning at him.  "You'll do fine.  Find yourself an apprentice for in here if you're serious.  We'll need someone's name almost immediately if you can hack it.  For now, I'll keep you as training now and then."  Greg nodded, understanding that.  "So, get to work.  The sooner you're done, the sooner you can follow me around."  He walked out with his sample, then came back.  "What's this?"

"What the sample said.  I sent it to Hodges once I saw that it was feline DNA."

"Thank you."  He went to talk to Hodges, who would have something for him probably.  He was good about that and liked to brag.

Greg plugged in his ear bud, calling the house.  "Honey, guess what, I get to follow Grissom around for field training," he said proudly.  He sighed and rolled his eyes.  "It won't be that dangerous, I promise.  No, it won't be, Emilia.  I promise it won't, Mil.  Please?" he begged.  "Sure, later tonight."  He grinned.  "Love you too.  Laters."  He hung up and turned up his CD again, going back to grooving to his samples.  It was going to be a long night but maybe tomorrow he'd get out of the lab.  He'd do research on his choices for a new DNA tech when he got home.  There were a few wizards in the field and he could use another one around here, maybe.

***

Tipsy Ramvette walked into the shop in London, looking at her husbands.  They were giving her sheepish looks.  "What did you break?" she teased.

One handed her a present.  "Our promise to not celebrate your birthday," he said sweetly.

The other handed her a present wrapped in opposite colors with the same shy grin.  "We thought you needed it anyway.  You can say they're just because presents if you want."

"You two are such big goofballs," she said, but she was smiling.  She sat down to open them, smiling at the Canadian maple sugar candy in one, and the Canadian weekend away in the other.  "Think I'm missing the snow?"  They nodded, beaming at her.  "Who's babysitting?"

"Mum," they said in unison, smirking wickedly.

"She's already said..."

"They'd adore it."

"So we're set," they finished together.  They smiled as someone came in.  "Welcome..."

"To Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes."

The girl giggled.  "You two are so cute."  She went to browse in the section marked for her age.  "What's this do?" she called, holding something out the end of the aisle.

Fred looked and smirked.  "Makes you blow lit farts."

"It's a real blast around Hufflepuff from what we hear," George offered.

"I'm sure Dawn thinks so," she agreed.  "Her game this weekend?"

"We already told her," George promised.

"She agreed," Fred finished, kissing her on the cheek.  "Now go plan naughty things to blow us up."  She chuckled but went back to her lab.  They beamed at each other and he went to help the girl pick out things.  She probably didn't want the boyish stuff.  He motioned her over, pointing at a section of 'girl' pranks.  She punched him on the arm and dug in, picking out a lot of stuff from in there.

She brought her selections up, including a package of the fart lighting stuff.  "My sister's bringing her new boy home tonight for the first time and he's a stupid git," she admitted.  "Gotta show my bum," she said fondly. George grinned and handed her something with a wink, ringing her up.  "Ooh, this'll be fun," she agreed, tucking the zombie patches into her bag.  Her mother had told her to get some party favors for tonight.  She decided to put one of the zombie patches on now, just to see the effect.

The twins listened as the sister and mother caught sight of her.  "Mother, make her take it off!" a younger woman screamed.  "She looks like she's a nasty, rotting corpse!"

"Dear," the mother said patiently.  "That's not the sort of favor I meant."  Her daughter obviously handed her something.  "Well, I do like this one.  I'll have to remember this for the next one.  By the way, those *do* come off, correct?"  The daughter grinned and nodded.  "Good girl."

"Why is it I bring home a perfectly nice boy and you two sabotage him?" the older daughter said angrily, complete with a delicate foot stomp.

"Because you've got crap taste in men," the younger daughter said patiently, just like her mother.  "Why can't you date a guy we might like?"

"Why would I want to give you any ideas?" the older sister sneered.

"Like I need your pitiful men," she snorted. "I'll have them all begging when I'm at Hogwarts."

George walked over and stuck his head out the door.  "Ladies, the best way to find good men is to let your friends pick them for you.  That's how we found ours."  He grinned at the daughter with the zombie patch.  "Those take alcohol to release, ma'am, just press a cotton ball to the center."  The mother nodded, pinching him on the cheek as she led her girls off, still fighting.  He pulled back, chuckling madly.

"See, you should let Hortense find you one," the younger daughter agreed.  "She's got a cute guy even though she's fugly.  Plus he's got a job.  It's a great change from yours."

"Enough," the mother said patiently.  "Chad is a wonderful boy.  I wouldn't mind one like him a bit as a son-in-law."

"Fine, I'll go steal her guy," the older daughter said, flouncing off to go shopping for a new dress.

The younger daughter leaned against her mother's side.  "Don't worry, mom, I have better taste," she promised, grinning up at her.

"I know you do, dear.  I gave you mine, even though I was momentarily stupid to marry your father."  She walked her into the dress shop, wincing at the scream.  "The Weasleys made them."

"I should hope so!" Madam Rosemerta shouted.  "Boys!"  They both stuck their heads out the door.  "What is that?"

"Zombie patch," Fred said with a grin.

"Comes off with an alcohol ball on the center."

"Fine."  She slammed her door, going to get that poor child a pad of alcohol.  That was just disgusting. You could almost see worms crawling in the sore. You could see them moving underneath the muscle showing.

The twins high-fived.  "Another successful product," they said in unison, going to tidy the shop for a bit.  Their wife needed some time to be brilliant before one of them went in there to give her naughty ideas.

***

Xander looked up as Draco joined him after the game, grinning at him.  "You still think Dawn can't play?"

"I think she still needs training," he admitted.  "She's getting better, but she's still not at yours, mine, or Potter's level.  She's below Weasley's really," he said dryly.  "She'll learn and soon outpace him."  He nodded at his head of house.  "We're leaving tomorrow for the desert.  Wish me luck finding a well."

Severus Snape snorted and shook his head.  "I doubt you'd find one in such an ancient city.

If there was one, it'd be in use today.  The native cultures are like that in those sort of areas."  He looked at Alex.  "Are you sure you want to take those three into the desert?"

"Easier to bury them when they annoy the hell outta me this time," Xander said dryly, smirking at him. "Like going off in multiple directions in a bazaar in Brazil."  He glared at Draco, who only beamed.  "Next time, listen."

"Of course.  I figure there'll be traps and things there.  Hopefully we won't die from them?"

Xander shrugged. "It's more than possible.  Traps are like that you know."  He smirked. "That way I'm sure you'll follow orders."  He waved at Snape, strolling off to talk to Professor McGonagall.

"Your grandson would be horrified at how you want to treat us," Draco called after him.  He looked at his former mentor and shrugged.  "He would, as I am.  Did you manage to get those serums done?"

"I have," he admitted.  "I have them ready to administer whenever he's ready to make you all suffer."

"Oh, pleasant.  Wonderfully so.  Since he's in a bad mood anyway.  Alex, he's got those serum's done for our inoculations!"

"I'll come watch them in about twenty minutes," he called back.  "Get the other two boys."

"Oh, now I'm the butler too?" he asked sarcastically.  "See if you get laid tonight."  He pulled his wand.  "Accio Potter.  Accio Ron Weasley."  They both flew at him and he neatly sidestepped so they fell on the ground near his feet.  "We're ready to do the inoculations.  Alex said to gather you," he noted dryly, following Snape inside.  "Do you find the Tintanbaum healing syrup difficult to make around here because of the ambient moisture in the air, Professor Snape?  I chose it because we're going to a desert and all the ingredients are desert ingredients, easily available down there."

"I do," he admitted quietly in his usual near-hiss.  "I find that the Incula is usually easier and most of the time you'll find that the ingredients are common enough to find in any good herbalist's shop."

"Yes, but I'm not sure where the nearest store would be to that city," he admitted.  "We'll be about six hours from the nearest town by the maps Gringots sent, and I want to be able to grow them or find them locally if I must."

Snape nodded, considering that.  "There's a particular version of Incula you should look at then," he decided. "It's not well known, but it is very strong for things like scorpion's stings and the like.   I'll pull the book with it down so you can look it over while we inject you with horrible things."

"Thank you.  I'd like that," he agreed dryly.  "I know you'll enjoy giving us shots."

"No, I'll be watching.  Madam Pomfrey has that honor.  I'd never take away her fun," he said as he opened his classroom door to let them inside.  He found that book and handed it over while he summoned Poppy and the boys.  So what if they hit a few walls on their flight down to the dungeons?  They probably did something new to deserve such treatment.  Even if they hadn't, he did enjoy a spot of torture now and then, he had learned how to enjoy it from Draco's father.

***

Greg looked up as Nick stuck his head into the lab.  "You didn't hand me anything yet," he said at the opening mouth.

"No, not that.  There's some mail for you outside.  Small package.  Grissom said the owl can't come in this time."

"Sure."  He popped another life saver and walked through the nearest side door, running into Hodges on his coffee break.  "Nice night," he offered, whistling lightly.  The owl flew over and landed on his arm, dropping the package into his hand.  "Thank you," he cooed, scratching her head gently.  "Do I have to make a return?"  He pulled some owl treats out of a pocket and let her have them from the palm of his hand.

"I still say your kind should be able to find a better way to do the mail, something faster that wouldn't have animal rights activists up in arms."

"Some of us do use email, but most of us are a traditional lot," Greg said dryly.  "Most homes don't use electricity, they use candles."

"Eww," he said, shuddering.  "Something from the school?"

Greg looked at the return address on the package.  "Nope, the Ministry."  He looked at the owl.  "Why don't you head to the local owlry and rest, sweetling?"  She hooted and flew off, going to do just that.  Greg opened it, taking the note out but leaving the other things inside.  "Hmm.  Someone over there knows I work on cases and things and wants me to figure out what's wrong with the sharer."  He walked back inside, taking it back to his lab, taking the time to glance over the full details.  "Not much sent," he complained.  He touched his tattoo and sent a quick message to Severus that he needed the full details of what had happened, including patient and healer facts, that way he could make a full investigation of the accident's causes.

"On a break?" Ecklie, the lab supervisor said from the doorway.

"Yeah.  I'm running too many things at the moment to start something new," he said dryly, going back to his reading.

"What's that?"

Greg looked at him.  "Something I got sent to look into.  A bit of private research."  He tucked it into his pocket, then looked over at his printer.  "I don't think you gave me anything to deal with tonight, Ecklie.  Did the dayshift guy say he left you something?"

"You're a smartass," he sneered.

"No, I'm a Sanders.  You're a lab dictator.  Get it right," he said snidely, glaring at him.  "I'm not your dayshift guys, Ecklie.  I'm one of Grissom's crew, and I'm working on nightshift cases.  If you *hired* a person to do swing shift, we wouldn't get so backed up all the time."

"What did you call me?"

"What you are," he said, smirking at him.  "By the way, how's Ethan?"  The man went pale.  "Ah, I take it he's good then?"

"How did you know?" he ground out.

"I know Luna."

"Then you...."  Greg shook his head.  "How do you know her then?"

"We share an association in the same organization, we knew her before she even heard of Ethan."  Ecklie swallowed.  "So, unless you're here for results, out!"

"You're him.  You're the one doing the research," he said coolly.  Greg shrugged but didn't deny it.  "You think you're going to stay in this lab?"

"No, I think I'm starting my field training so I can be a real CSI," he said dryly.  "Out.  Now.  Before you contaminate the samples by shedding sweat or hair."  The director stomped out.  "Bastard."  He looked back at his printer as things started to print out, putting them with the proper samples.  He started the next batch and pulled out the device to look it over, checking for any non-standard wiring or anything.  He glanced around before using his wand to open the sharer's panels, staring at the mass of wires.  "You're not usually this complicated," he complained, looking for scorch or singe marks.  He didn't find any so he glanced around before putting it back together, finding Grissom in his doorway.  "Sorry, boss, bad night for him?"  He handed over the pertinent results for him.  "Plus, Cat's and Warrick's too," he said fondly, grinning at him.

"What's that?"

"It's called a sharer.  Healers use them.  This one fried the healer using it and since someone over there realized what I do here, they sent it to see if I could figure out why."  He let him see it.  "One part's the patient's.  The other's for the healer."

Hodges stuck his head in.  "You might want to whammy Ecklie again," he said sarcastically.  "He's complaining to the sheriff about you."

"Yay," he said dryly.  "Want to help me test this later?" he offered.  "It won't hurt, much."

"What is it?"

"It's called a sharer.  It's so a healer can see and feel what's wrong with a patient when they can't respond."

"Like they're unconscious?" Hodges asked.  Greg nodded.  "What does it do?"

"It mimics the pain the patient would be feeling so the doctor can see exactly where it is and how bad. It's a neat little device."

"I'd say it'd be helpful," Grissom said, handing it back.  "Do it on your own time, Greg."

"Of course.  I only have half a billion samples left," he said with a grin for his boss.  "Want to help, Gris?  We need someone with a young and flexible mind."

He smiled. "I'm not that young, Greg.  Ask Nick, he's stumped and it may give him a few clues."

"Sure," he agreed happily, smiling as the sheriff came in.  "Sir, did you have samples leftover from Dayshift?"

"No, why?"

"Because I'm presently doing their overrun. Just wondering."

"What's that?" he asked, pointing at the device in Greg's hand.  "Some new lab equipment?"

"No, actually it's experimental," Greg told him.  "It's a pain mimic for when doctors have an unconscious patient.  That way they can easier diagnose and treat more quickly."

"I see."  He smiled.  "That's very innovative.  Yours?"

"No, a friend's.  I'm just testing this one.  The other few he's testing didn't have a problem but this one did.  He wanted to know why.  I need two fairly open-minded people to help me after work tonight.  I've asked Hodges, but I'm not sure if he'll be done in time either."

"Not with my backlog," he admitted, heading back to his lab.  Greg was being mean and it made him so pleased that the young kid was taking his advice.

"What's it do again?" the sheriff asked.

Greg held up a hand and popped the backs off the devices, putting them in the sterilizer just in case.  "One is put onto the patient," he said, holding up that part.  "The other is put onto either a nurse who's going to be standing in a corner giving a report, or a doctor who's doing first responder stuff.  The device mimics the pain the patient's in on the doctor's body, just like they're feeling it, so they know what's wrong and where.  So you could bring in someone unconscious from a car accident and know exactly what's hurting him before ordering specific x-rays, medication for pain, or anything else.  He's got a few in use in England."

"That's...."  He smiled.  "That's a very good idea.  Are you getting partial credit for this?"

"He may use me as a source if asked about any problems.  He's an old friend.  I went to school with him."

"Very interesting.  What sort of person would help you?"

"I need someone with a low pain tolerance, so we only have to do gentle things, like stubbing a toe sort and the like, and someone with a fairly open mind.  They've got to be receptive to the idea that it would work.  Like a lot of other devices that are considered fantastically magical and innovative, you've got to believe that it'll work for it to have the most impact on you."

The sheriff smiled and nodded.  "I see.  You wanted Hodges?"

"I did, but if he's that backed up, I can't take his time away from the lab.  I need someone who can give concise reports on what they're feeling so I make sure that the mimic is in the right strength first.  See, I figure the problems were caused by one of three things.  Either the person doing it was using some sort of amplifier, probably because he couldn't feel the mimic very strongly, and got overloaded.  He could have been using it on a problem that shorted out his mind, like a man feeling a woman giving birth.  That's not something that the body's used to and it can shut down in the face of unusual stimulus, or I figure someone was using it at the wrong time and as the wrong sort of receptive person.  Some people can still have bad reactions to pain."

"Why did you insult Director Ecklie?"

"Because he was hanging around my lab," he said dryly, smirking at the man.  "I asked him if he needed test results from a late case from dayshift, then I noted that the labs wouldn't be so backed up if we worked with a swingshift person.  Sure, there are slow days, but I only work eight to ten hours a day and so does the dayshift person.  When there's a big scene or a lot of crimes that day, we're backed up, which is slowing the efficiency of the other CSI team members and making them stand around waiting on us.  Director Ecklie is responsible for deciding not to hire a new swingshift person and to keep us overloaded and under peak efficiency.  Just ask Grissom."

"I did think we should have hired one," he agreed.  "Even if they were only part time.  But then again, Greg's getting ready to start field training so he'll have an apprentice in to help him," he said, staring him down.

Greg beamed.  "Also, I'm amazing enough to have a possible list of people for you to offer an interview to," he admitted smugly.  "When I called home, I had her look up the current standings and made my shortlist from the list she sent me."  He handed them to Grissom with a flourish.  "The top three are a lot like me in some ways.  The bottom three aren't at all but they're all rated very well and all have published in the field.  As you can see, some of them come from the same areas.  Personally, I want to meet that one in Chicago first.  I've heard about her and she's pretty neat sounding."

"Thank you, Greg," Grissom said, shaking his head.  "Only twelve?"

"I had thirteen but I knew that one and called him. He yelled and said he didn't want the pressure. He's in a small, back woods department so he doesn't get a lot of pressure."

"What about a student?" the sheriff asked.

Greg shook his head.  "I wouldn't take the chance on that, sir.  Even if I could finish their training and they could do their internship here, it'd take me from my field training to watch over them and mentor them.  Now, for a swingshift person, I'd agree to that.  That way there'd be some overlap and both myself and dayshift DNA can watch over them.  Also, having someone coming in to do the swingshift as an intern would save the lab a lot of money and time.  Even on the slow days, they could study and learn more things from the rest of us."

"I like the way you think, Sanders.  Grissom, help him with that.  Good luck in the field, son.  I hope you can hack it.  You sound like you're excited about that."  He walked off, going to tell Ecklie that he was going to be helping Greg test that device, that way he could claim some glory for himself, and about the idea to hire an intern for swingshift.  It was a good idea, wouldn't cost them anything, and would get them some notoriety for training such an excellent new lab tech.

Grissom checked the halls. "How many of these are wizards?"

"The top five.  The one in Chicago I know is, I know she's disgruntled because she was yelling at Kowalski the last time I called him, and she was complaining about the cold winter that they're starting."  He grinned.  "She's also rated very high, has published, is female so you'd have a better balance in the lab and Sara might find a girl she might like, and she's used to the odd and freaky because of who she's been dealing with."

"Talk to her first," Grissom agreed.  "I want a final list of five on my desk in three weeks."  Greg beamed.  "Who did you want to help you torture Ecklie with that?"

"I suggested Hodges, but he was too happy about me being mean," he said with a small cackle.  "I'd ask Nick, but that's mean too."

"It is," he agreed.  "I'll offer the position around and let them know it's a small pain in the making."  He looked at the printer spitting out more papers.  "Any for me?"

"Dayshift," he complained.  "I'm still working on some of last night's and most of day's samples.  I left and we only had two left to run.  I started them when he came in.  He left me about three hundred samples." Grissom winced.  "So, like I said, billions and billions."

Grissom nodded.  "I understand, Greg.  Do whatever you have to do to catch up as long as it's legal and ethical."  He went to talk to the others, hoping to find someone who'd want to help Greg torture Ecklie, just so he could watch and smirk fondly at him.

Ecklie stormed up the hall and leaned into Greg's lab.  "Do you still need help testing that device?"  Greg nodded, glancing at him.  "Good.  Find an intern as well as your replacement.  I don't have time to do the interviews."  He stormed off, going to complain to Grissom about how slow his people were.

"Hmm, should he be giving or receiving tonight?" he mused as he worked.

***

Greg looked at Hodges, then at Ecklie, grinning at them both.  "Okay.  I've checked the devices, they're in good working order.  The mimic was set at the appropriate strength."

"Doesn't that cause confusion?" Hodges demanded.  "People feel the same pain differently."

"Not really," Greg said.  "It's a mimic.  So, while you'll feel pain, it's not your pain, it's their pain that you'd be feeling."

"That sounds like telepathy," Ecklie snorted.

"Did you want receiving or patient?" Greg retorted.

"Patient."

"Sure."  He walked over to the devices he had put out on a sterile tray.  "Take off your shirts."  Hodges gave him an odd look.  "It goes on the back of your shoulder," he told him.  "I can put it on Ecklie's stomach or chest."  Hodges groaned but did as ordered, taking off his labcoat and shirt, putting them aside.  Greg stuck the patient's box on Ecklie's upper chest, then let Doc Robbins, the ME, put on the EKG's leads to make sure that he'd be fine.  He had gotten a big thrill out of this experiment too.  He walked over, putting the other box on Hodge's back.  "It's sterile.  I did the pins myself to make sure," he offered at the odd look he was getting.  He put the device on the pad of muscle between Hodge's shoulder and spine, then flipped the blue switch, making him hiss.  "Easy there, it's not a problem.  It's even got quick release on your side," he said quietly.  Hodges sat down and let the ME put the EKG leads for him on his chest.  "Okay.  So let's start small."  He walked over and picked up a brick, going to drop it on Ecklie's shod foot.  Both of them yelped in the same key.  "Hodges, what did that feel like?"

"A brick or something on his toes."  He looked back, they weren't facing the same direction.  He then looked at Greg, noticing his small smirk.  "I usually feel it much more strongly when I do that to myself."

"Then you're feeling it at his level, which means the mimic is indeed set at the right level."  He went back for a reflex hammer, going to bang on Ecklie's knees.  Then he pulled out a real one, cracking him a good one on the knee cap once he had established that Hodges' knees were also reacting properly to the reflex hammer.  Both men yelped again and he nodded.  "That, Hodges?"

"Hammer?" he groaned, rubbing his knee.

"It sounds like it's set correctly," Doc Robbins agreed.  "What next?"

"Small 9-volt with leads," Greg offered, grabbing it before Ecklie could move and putting it on his stomach.  Hodges only giggled a bit but Ecklie wiggled to get away.  "Hodges?"

"I've done that to myself before.  I had an electric razor that used to give off shocks.  Felt about right though."  This was kinda fun if he could ignore the small amount of pain.  The next pain was larger and came after Greg's 'oops'.  "Ow!" he complained.

"Sorry, I meant to drop it on his foot, not hit his calf," he offered.  "You okay?  Doc, any change on the EKG?"

"No, not at all."  He looked at both of them and shook his head.  "Not a bit out of the ordinary."

"How much longer?" Ecklie ground out.

"Only one more test and I can't use you for this one," Greg offered.  He sighed and looked down at the device.  "Flip the blue switch, push the red button on the back."  Ecklie did so and tugged, wincing and making Hodges yell.  "Hold it.  Hodges, was that more intense than pulling on this thing?" He got a nod.  "Interesting."  He gave it another yank, glancing at the EKG's.  "Doc?"

"Definitely more intense."  He came over to watch Greg disengage their boss.  "You should probably rest," he said, taking off the leads.  Ecklie grabbed his shirt and limped off, favoring his sore leg.

"What was that?" Hodges groaned, holding his stomach.

"He didn't take out all the leads at once," Greg said, looking at the device.  "Hmm, center pin's bent."  He flicked that one with his finger and Hodges stiffened.  "Hurt?"  He got a nod.  "Then I know what's going on.  It removes the same way, doc, if you wouldn't mind?"  He shook his head and went over to undo him.  "There's two red buttons."

"Ah.  That's why it only halfway came out."  He undid the other button and let Hodges go, letting the other CSI staff help him to a chair and get him calmed back down.  "What was it?"

"The middle pin holds the spell that makes it work," he said, coming over to look at it in the light.  "Yeah, it's not only bent, but the use of that single one would have been worse."  He looked over as Brass walked in and tossed him an envelope.  "Floo?"  He nodded. "Cool."  He opened it up to read it, then nodded.  "It was used on someone who had just underwent what I did that time."  He looked at the device, then gathered them both up, going to sterilize them and check the spells.

"Huh?" Hodges asked.

"That same thing that hit him in the hallway that time," Brass told him.  "It hit the patient part of the equation.  So, how did it go?"

"Ecklie limped out," Grissom said fondly.

"Next time, I'll take patient," Hodges complained.

"At least they know now," Sara offered gently.  "It could have been worse, he could have needed the long series of tests."

Hodges gave her a hurt look.  "I treat you guys better than that."

"And Greg gave you the easier job," Grissom reminded him.  "You did good.  Helped him figure out the problem."

"Ah-ha!" Greg shouted, coming back into the room.  "It is that middle pin being bent.  Even the manuals say not to only use the middle pin and never to use it if bent.  So that's what happened, it amplified the pain mimic off someone who was in extreme pain."  He beamed at that.  "Solved."

"Will they accept that?" Sara asked.

"Yeah, I can prove it," he assured her, beaming at Grissom.  "This is a really neat device for the healers to have.  I was hoping I wasn't going to have to prove my second hypothesis by going to the local hospital and barging in on a pregnant woman."  He grinned at Hodges.  "Ecklie would have had that one so you didn't freak at the sight of the baby coming."

"That's a small blessing," he complained.  "Am I all right?"

"You're fine," the ME assured him.  "Nowhere near my office."  Hodges gave him a dirty look so he smiled.  "Your heartrate has evened out and your pulse is still a bit high, but you should be fine.  Go home and rest."

"Take tonight off," Grissom offered.  "You deserve it after that."  Hodges gave him a solemn nod and walked off, coming back to grab his shirt and labcoat.

It was Sara who started to laugh once he was really gone, leaning on Catherine's shoulder.  "That's so bad, Greg."

"Hey, I only accidentally hit him with the sledgehammer," he complained, but he was grinning too.  "My next one was going to be with the zappy electrode thing that we use to simulate someone having a heart attack.  Just in case it was someone who was having one."

Doc Robbins shook his head.  "You are bad, Greg.  I would have stopped you after that one.  Are those generally available?"

"Not yet," he admitted. "I don't even think the Canadians have them yet.  Wish they did, but sorry."

"Not a problem.  It's a neat little device.  Very handy in an ER."  He patted him on the arm.  "Happy to be of help.  Someone roll these back to where they belong."

"Sure, I'll help," Brass offered.  He popped the tape out of the camera and waved it.  "I'm confiscating this before anyone else sees."  He walked one machine out, letting the doctor get the other one.  He'd get to enjoy seeing Ecklie in pain again and again and again.

Greg clapped his hands.  "I'm off to visit my first choice in Chicago.  Wish me luck.  Oh, Gris, Ecklie dumped it on me to find an intern too.  Should I?"

"I'll put a notice up at the local schools," he offered dryly.  "Go, Greg, before Emilia misses you."  He got a wicked grin and pulled his wand, leaving them there.

"Intern?" Sara asked.  "Why?"

"To take over the DNA lab during swingshift," Grissom told her.  "They've been backlogged now for days.  Greg pointed out that they could mentor the right candidate between them and watch over their few hours of work, all without costing us very much."

"I wouldn't mind helping either," Catherine offered.  "Is Greg going into the field?"  Grissom nodded.  "So he's finding his replacement?"

"Hopefully so.  He made a list of ten hopefuls and is going to visit his first choice.  One who works with Kowalski so she's used to the strain and stress of high profile cases."  He grinned at her.  "We'll see.  I told him to have the final choices to me within three weeks so I could call them for an interview."  He walked off, taking the device Greg left back to his office to store it safely.  It was very interesting.  He knew some people who would sell major body organs to get this sort of device.

***

Greg appeared in the back parking lot of the station in Chicago, looking up at it.  "Ah, the Windy City that smells bad," he said fondly, hurrying inside and up the stairs at a trot.  He walked into the bullpen and everyone stared at him.  "What?  I'm dressed," he said with a grin.

"Hey, kid, what's up?" Vecchio asked, staring him down.

"I come to try to steal one of your CSI techs," he said fondly.  "I'm getting to go out into the field.  Couldn't you just die!" he gushed, beaming madly at him. "Plus I just got to test a neat device on Ecklie and Hodges."  Kowalski cracked at that, chuckling some.  "So, where are they?  Specifically the one who was yelling at you, Stan?"

"Downstairs.  I'll take ya," he offered, getting up to lead him down there.  "Good job," he praised.  "How's Alex and them?  And Blair?"

"I haven't seen Blair in a few days," he admitted.  "He's on someone's couch but no one knows where.  Since Jim dumped his helper to get married, there's been some bad things in his life."

"I'll keep an eye out for him," Ray Kowalski promised.  He tapped on the door before opening it.  "Sasha?"  She looked over at him, looking startled.  "This is Greg Sanders, he works in Vegas, and wants to steal you."

"Vegas is hot," she complained.

"Yes, and we don't get snow and I'm about to hit the field training so we'll need a new full time DNA tech," he said, walking over to grin at her.  "Your name came highly recommended by the Academy."  She looked up at him and he winked.  "Plus we're kinda alike.  I went to school with Margaret."

"Oh.  Oh!"  She perked up at that.  "You're serious?"  He nodded.  "Sanders?  You're American."

He leaned down to her ear.  "I'm the Wizard of Blood, dear.  I was a transfer student."  He stood up again and grinned at her.  "I heard you yelling at Stan, telling him the early snow was his fault.  I thought you might like Vegas.  There's lots and lots of neat stuff out there."

"The pay?"

"Comparable.  My first year was at fifty."

"Whoa, you make that much?" Ray said in awe.  "Why?"

"I have a master's in Genetics," he said dryly.  "It's expected of us, dear.  You can go back to college and get dual degrees in Chem and Biology, and then a masters in Genetics too."

"Eeeeh, no thanks," he said with a shudder.  "Too much math for me."

"Yeah, he hates using his brain," Sasha noted dryly, staring up at him.  "Why are you going into the field?"

"I always wanted to.  My boss is really cool.  I'm out to him totally.  We've got all the great specialty shops and stuff that you might be missing here. Grissom is really cool and the whole graveyard is really great to me.  Every now and then I get people with wishful thinking but not too bad.  We're backed up at the moment but I just talked someone into hiring an intern for the swingshift hours.  The last guy retired and we were only covered for sixteen hours during a day. Unfortunately it's the busy season for us at the moment," he said dryly.  "Also, I'm allowed to play and sing to my music all I want as long as I get things done.  Griss's even used to me taking off for long lunches with my wife if there's nothing going on.  We've got a diverse crew, there's some female lab techs and two female CSI's on our shift.  If you swing towards guys, we've got some cute ones among us and at the station we work out of, even cuter than me, and if you swing the other way, we've got some of the prettiest women in the world."

He beamed.  "Our dress code is 'it has to be clean and presentable, and actually there'.  They made that one after an accident I had in the lab one night.  The benefits are great.  Vecchio, Kowalski, and Fraser all came out to spend some time with us and hung out with me, my wife, and my first daughter a lot."  He pulled out his wallet and handed Stan a new picture of all of them.  "The twins are great," he said with a bright grin.  "Crawling and helping me at home in the lab."  He looked at Sascha again.  "We're all a bit insane but it's in a good way.  Gris is a bug guy.  He's got all sorts.  Catherine's his second in command at the moment and she's really cool.  Her daughter's away at school in Canada.  Nick's from Texas.  Warrick's local and Sara's from Frisco, but she's a bit uptight.  Her hobby is her work," he finished.  "You'll love it, you can tan all year round, you can do pretty much whatever you want in personal research.  They've never minded mine at least.  A few of the other techs are a bit uptight but we get on well enough with the work stuff."

"You're laying it on a bit thick," one of the other techs complained.

"You hush!  It's nice to be wooed."  Sasha looked at him.  "You're serious?"  He nodded.  "Eight hour shifts?"

"With the possibility of overtime, especially when it's critical or there's a lot of crime or a lot of bodies.  This week, we've been slammed," he admitted.  "We had one big scene with about six bodies and no obvious cause of death from the college.  We've had about sixty break-ins and robberies at places like convenience stores, or so it seems, and we've had a ton of rapes recently.  Me personally, I'm pulling ten hours at the moment daily. That'll change when I find an intern and I'll be helping you and the dayshift guy mentor them."

"Sounds promising.  What happens when I miss snow?"

"Ehh, then you can go up into the mountains for a few days or a week.  Tahoe's near there. There's a bunch of small towns up in the nearest mountains that do some tourist stuff and some that don't.  We do get county-wide cases at times.  We've had some shipped from further away as well."  He shrugged.  "We're one of the top labs in the country and we're pretty diverse.  The only thing we can't do is the bone marrow DNA that you have to send to the Navy."

She looked up at him.  "I may not be qualified then.  I do simple DNA.  We farm most of it out.  I've published but I'm not in practice."  She considered it.  "I've got a few days off, I'll come visit, check it out, talk to your boss and see what he thinks.  Get a feel for the town as it were."  She patted him on the arm.  "If I can't, who's next on your list?"  He pulled out a copy of his list and she looked at it, then crossed off a few names.  "They died recently, honey."  She looked up at him then put another name down.  "She's older, but she's good.  She's a teacher at Marshall.  They just got a full forensic's grad degree.  Accredited and everything with emphasis in DNA, Computer crud, and a parentage testing service along with their link into CODIS."  He looked startled at that.  "It's a new thing, first in the country really.  Other places have a track in their degrees, or as a certification, this place only does Forensics as this major.  I hear it's pretty decent.  They also do some outreach training for those already in the field and the like.  She's also like us and she went there to teach.  If she can't, she'll know who can."

"I thank you, m'lady.  When should we expect you to come out?"

"Maybe next weekend," she offered with a small grin.  "It's getting cold too soon this year and I'm already aching."

"It's only cold at night where I am," he said smugly.  "And it's a dry heat.  No more swampy air."

"That would be nice," she sighed, looking wistful.  "Who hides everything?"

He grinned and mouthed their overlord's name, making her shiver.  He winked and patted her on the back.  "When you do, I'm in the DNA lab or you can leave a message for me at home or with the PD.  I get to start field training as soon as I find someone."  He yawned and stretched. "I'll let you get back to work.  Come visit and I'll talk to this other one.  Thank you."  He grinned and walked out, going to grab Kowalski and treat him to breakfast.  He looked like he could use some more coffee and Greg was nothing if not entranced by *good* coffee.

***

Greg trotted into Grissom's office, closing the door behind him with a grin.  "I got to talk to my first choice.  She's coming out this weekend to ask around about the program.  She thinks she might not be fully qualified since they send out their DNA work."  Grissom nodded, looking patient.  "But, I did get some information.  Have you heard about Marshall University?"

"Where?"

"Marshall University.  In West Virginia.  They've just recently started to graduate forensic's program.  A fully accredited program for both DNA, Scene Techs, and Computer stuff.  Works with their State Troopers, works with CODIS to add to it." He grinned.  "Not only is one of us out there teaching, she was recommended to talk to if I couldn't get any of my choices.  Not only would they be a good source of interns, fully trained and everything instead of just doing a certificate in it, but they'd be the people to start looking at the program over.  So not only was I a good boy and talked to my first choice this morning, I got some good new information to pass along."

"You did.  You only got to talk to one?"

"Even I've got to sleep, Grissom," he whined.  "Especially with three kids who decided to scream all day."

"Point," he offered with a small smile. "Your wife called and asked that we let you take a nap here before you come home.  She thought you were going to bounce her out of bed."

Greg snorted.  "Sorry, but nope.  I did take Stan out to breakfast," he offered with a grin.  "She did also correct my list.  A few have recently died."

"That's fine, Greg.  Like I said, give me the final interview list with three to five people within three weeks."  He nodded.  "How was the lab when you left?"

"Doing nightshift stuff at least," he offered dryly.  "I was basically done for the night.  That's why I stayed the extra hour.  Why?  Didn't the day guy show up?"  Grissom nodded.  "Were they busy?"  He nodded.  "Oh, no," he moaned.  Grissom nodded.  "How far?"

"About half of dayshift's samples," he offered.  "Not as bad as it was last night."

"I'd hope not.  Does he not do anything?"

"No, he did a lot," he offered.  "He left you some rape kits and the like."  He shrugged.  "He tried, Greg.  Find the intern first."

"I'm calling that woman while I'm processing, from the office," he complained, heading to his lab to get down to work.  He scrubbed his hands then gloved up before looking at the samples waiting on him.  He groaned and shook his head, looking at the stack of files from earlier, picking up the first one to look at it.  He blinked.  "GRISSOM!" he yelled.  He heard running footsteps and looked over at Catherine.  "No, not you.  Grissom," he said firmly, handing the file around her.  "Take a look at the tests run."  He looked at Catherine.  "Did you hear there's a true Master's in Forensic's available in West Virginia?" he asked conversationally.  "Computers, DNA, and Scene stuff."

"Good," she agreed patiently.  "What's wrong?"

"The tests run were for a different case," Grissom said, putting down the file.  "The whole stack?"

"I only looked at that one," Greg admitted. "I'm almost afraid to look."  He looked at the very large stack, then picked up the next one down, wincing as he looked at it.  He shook his head and handed it over, going to the next one.  He groaned and shook his head, getting up and heading across the hall.  "Who's not busy?" he called.  Everyone stared at him.  "I mean it.  I need a file review of today's files.  Seriously need a review to see how far back we're going."  One of the techs raised their hand slowly.  "Good, come on.  It'll be fun," he said with a wry look.  He stomped back to his lab and picked up the entire stack, grabbing those three to hand it over.  He handed them to the tech.  "Look for the unusual and odd tests."

"Sure, Greg.  How far back?"

"As far as I know, that's all of today's.  If not, then we'll have to unfile later."  She whimpered.  "Not you, you're getting Quality Control today."  She nodded, heading to the break room and the larger table.  He looked at Grissom.   "Can I be there when you talk to him?" he asked sarcastically.

"No, Greg, let's find out how far it went back.  Pull ten randoms from yesterday."  Greg nodded, going to the piles of folders and results waiting, letting out a whimper and holding it out.

"Could this be someone other than the tech?" Catherine asked.  "Like the CSI asking?"

"There's ten different cases," Greg said, looking at the random files he was pulling.  "Eight are odd."  He looked at the last two.  "The other two are mine."  He put them back and pulled two from the day before.  He looked at Grissom and shook his head.  "Not mine."  He handed it over.  "And I'm not impressed now."

"We'll handle it, Greg."

"I'm going to Crucio someone if I have to redo all this work," he said calmly and quietly.  "I'll have fun doing it too."

"Calm down.  We'll figure it out without you getting violent," Catherine offered, going back further. For those, she had to go to Ecklie, and it was better if he and Grissom didn't run into each other.  "I'm doing a Quality Control check on the dayshift's lab stuff."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because there was a questionable test found from the day before yesterday.  We're doing a review of today's and a random check for the last week.  Which you have to sign off on."

"Fine," he said, waving at the pile.  "I haven't gotten to a few of them."

"Good."  She picked up the full pile and carried it off.  "Warrick, come help us," she yelled as she walked.  He came out of the garage.  "Are you doing something right now?"  He nodded.  "Damn it.  We need help."

"Call in a trainee," he offered.

"For Quality Control?"

"Oh, no," he hissed.  "Nick's not busy."

"Sure.  Find him, send him our way.  We're in the break room."  He nodded, hurrying to go find Nick.  It was his night off, but he was probably not out partying yet.  He called him and he showed up a few minutes later.  He pointed at the breakroom and Nick went that way.

"What's up?" he asked, leaning in the doorway, bracing himself on the frame.

"Quality Control," Catherine said grimly.  "Wrong tests run in the dayshift lab."  She looked over at him, noticing how pale he was.  "We're trying to find a spot where it started."

Greg walked under Nick's arm.  "Three days ago the rush started," he offered.  "We had free time before that."

"That's a good place to start," Catherine agreed, watching him pour himself some coffee.  "How are your current ones?"

"Being kept separate and done as fully as usual.  I'm going to kill someone if this was stupidity though."  He ducked back under Nick's arm, heading back to his lab.  He had a spot all picked out for his coffee cup.  Nowhere near anything he was working on.  He dialed the phone while he worked, smiling at the happy sounding voicemail message he was hearing.  "Hi, this is Greg Sanders, DNA tech for Las Vegas PD.  We're looking for a sudden intern in the very near future and I'm thinking about switching to field work so I'm looking for a replacement DNA tech.  You were highly recommended by Sascha in Chicago so I thought I'd start with you instead of beating my head against a wall.  You can call me back here any night...."

"Hello?" a female voice answered.

"Hey.  Greg Sanders, LVPD."

"Las Vegas?" she asked, sounding amused.  "How are you, Mr. Sanders?"

"I've been put in charge of finding us an intern for swing shift and a new DNA tech if I go into the field.  Needless to say, we're in our busy season," he finished dryly.  "Sasha in Chicago's CSI recommended I call you guys after informing me of your new program."

"Interesting.  How goes your work tonight?"

"Quality Control of the dayshift and we're backlogged because our swingshift guy recently retired," he admitted.  "He was a great guy, and I'll miss him greatly."

"I'm sure you will," she said fondly.  "How soon do you need someone?"

"Can I fly out tonight and steal someone?" he joked.  She chuckled at that.  "Seriously, the intern would be mentored by me, even when I'm doing field training, and by the person taking over for me and the dayshift person."

"Greg, two days back," Catherine said from the doorway.

"Great.  Which case?"

"Um, Peterson.  Why?"

"Makes a difference what time of day it was," he said in a sing-song voice.  "I've got someone from Marshall with me on the phone."

"Actually, I'm not the person who this voice mail belongs to but I am the one who would send you applicants, Mr. Sanders.  What are you looking for?"

"DNA interns," he said firmly.  "Possibly someone who would want to take over my spot, or someone who can switch off with me now and then and do field and let me come back to the lab to think."

"Hmm, a switch hitter.  We don't have many of those, but I do know of one young lady."

"That's fine," Catherine agreed.  "We like women around here.  There's two female CSI and a few more of us in the lab."  Greg pointed at the filing cabinet so she went to pull the files from that case forward to look them over, even Greg's.  "How soon can we get letters of interest?"

"With qualifications if they've worked in the field already, GPA if not, and any specialities they might have?" Greg added.  "That way we can pick someone who'll fit.  Grissom already does bugs."

The woman chuckled again.  "I can announce it tomorrow and hopefully fax you a stack of them by this weekend."

"That would be wonderful," he said earnestly.  "I love you."  She giggled at that.  "Thank you so much.  Do you need our number?"

"No, dear, we have it on file.  We keep a list of all the bigger departments for our people to call around about internships.  You be calm.  It'll be fine.  I'm sure you'll pass Quality Control easily."  She hung up.

Greg looked back, finding Ecklie in the doorway.  "That was the person who'll be sending us letters from people in the Graduate Forensic's program out of Marshall University."

"Certificate?"

"No, a full degree program," he said happily.  "One of the people on my short list told me about them."  He hung up on the dialtone, then turned to look at him.  "Want the website so you can look it over?"

"No, that's fine.  Did you?"  He nodded. "Good?"

"Very good.  They're helping up the CODIS system.  Fully accredited.  Good teachers.  Works with the State Troopers out there."  Ecklie nodded at that.  "She said she'd have letters of interest to us by this weekend, and I did mention about finding someone to split the lab with me so I can start field training.  They do computers, DNA, and scene tech teaching.  Plus they do outreach training for things like nurses doing rape training."

"Good!  That sounds good.  Where is this school?"  Greg handed over the card from his pocket.  "Fine.  Where's the break?"

"For the last three days, we've been going non-stop.  I'm guessing he got them doing the tests for the next set of samples," he admitted. Catherine nodded.  "She pinpointed the first one."

"Even better.  How long ago?"

"Two days," Catherine offered.  "About halfway through the day it looks like."  She looked at Greg.  "You'd share?"

"With the right person," he said with a cute grin.  "That way you guys could have someone more experienced and I could get some training and mentoring myself.  Plus, I did agree to help mentor this new intern," he told Ecklie.  "That way there's no problems."

"Fine, Sanders.  Did you report on that device?"

"Sent it before I went to bed," he said proudly.  "Along with the device.  It's probably the fastest he's ever heard back from one of us over here."

"Over here?"

"Yeah, he's a Brit," he said dryly.  "I went to boarding school with him."

"Oh.  Like the guy with the mine?"  Greg nodded.  "Did you know that you didn't list your high school on your application?"

"Yeah, the boarding school wasn't technically considered a high school.  Foreign schools run on different ages.  I went there from age eleven on."

"Oh.  Interesting.  The name?"

Greg just grinned.  "Grissom has that form refilled out for you already."

"Thank you for making my life easier," he said, going to bother him.

Catherine smiled at him.  "Nice job," she whispered, pulling anything that had been filed.  "We found a few with your name on them but his signature."

"Forged?"

"Possibly," she sighed.  She closed the drawer with her thigh and headed back with these new files. Grissomn was calling the poor dayshift guy in to talk to him.  Ecklie had apparently overheard enough and was now yelling at someone.  Not Grissom but someone.  Grissom was back in the breakroom looking at files.  "Greg wanted to know if his name was a forgery or not."

"Probably," Grissom admitted with a small sigh.  "He's going to hate us.  We're going to have to rerun all these samples if we've got any left."

Greg closed his office door and turned on some music, putting it on the speakers on his desk instead of his headphones.  He dialed the dayshift guy at home.  Busy.  He hung up and tried again a few minutes later, getting a ring.  "Hey, me," he said when the guy's wife answered.  "I'm sure it was just a slipup.  It's all right.  Grissom's handling it and tell him he is before he freaks.  We traced it back to a time and case.  Send him in and don't expect him back for a while."

"Which one are you?"

"I'm Greg, I'm his night counterpart.  Just let him know those things before he comes in."  He saw Ecklie heading back and turned off the speaker phone, going back to his tests.  Ecklie stormed past and he sighed, shaking his head as he moved on.  He heard a knock and nodded Hodges in.  "You get called in?"

"Yeah.  How bad?"

"Back to the Petersen case, man.  Bad.  Looks like he got one's orders mixed up with the samples."  Hodges winced.  "That's only two day's worth and he's on his way in."

"Good.  Where should I start?"

"Ask Grissom and Cat.  They're handling it."  He nodded, heading that way.  He called his wife.  "Hey, honey, we had a small accident here in the lab with some samples on the other shift.  I'm not gonna make it home for dinner tomorrow night."

"Excuse me?" Emilia asked patiently.

"Yeah, we've got about two days of stuff to rerun at the moment.  So I probably won't make it home for dinner."

"That's a triple shift, Greg, then working your normal one."

"Oh, no, I'll catch a nap," he assured her.  "Even if I have to do it on the lumpy couch in Gris's office.  I just probably won't be home until the day after tomorrow.  If I'm lucky.  Love you."  He hung up and got back to work, putting samples on top of results and moving to the next one.  "I miss the old swing shift guy," he muttered.  "Hey, Gris, get back Denali!" he called.  "He can help!"

"He's in Hawaii," Catherine called back.

"He should be back by now.  We'll need him if any of us are heading home in the next three days."

"That's not a bad idea," Hodges agreed from his lab.  "Plus, he got home last night and is probably already moping."

"Fine, I'll try," Catherine offered.  She leaned in Greg's office.  "Got anything for Gil's migraine?"

"Blue vial, in my locker, in my green and black bag," he said patiently.  "Should smell like vomit, but it works."

"Thanks, Greg."  She headed off to break into his locker and get that.  She came back a few minutes later.  "There's no bag in there, Greg."

"There should be three."

"There's not."  He put down his sample and headed off to check, groaning at the empty state.  He checked the number and looked at her, then opened his actual locker, which didn't have the lock on it, and it was empty as well, with a note in the bottom.  "Ecklie," he said dryly, going to talk to him.  He walked into his office and grabbed his things, heading back to his lab.  "Don't touch my stuff again without a warrant," he called back.  "I will sue this time!"   He found the vial and handed it over.  "Smells horrible," he warned.  "Take it anyway."  He carefully set everything down in his desk chair and searched through them, then put the bags into his desk.  The former swingshift guy was walking up the halls whistling.  He could hear him.  "Thank you, Goddess!" he shouted. "Denali, see Catherine first," he called.

"That bad?" he asked her, looking miserable.

"Two days of misrun stuff," she offered pointing at the stack of files.  "We haven't replaced you yet and Greg's working on getting us an intern."

"Wonderful.  From?"

"Marshall University?"

"Fine program.  I know two of the teachers, we used to date," he said with a smug look.  "Okay.  Where's the samples?"

"In the usual spot.  All over," she said dryly.  "Nick's in Evidence with the file name list to find you everything he can."

"Decent of him.  Greg?"

"Working on today's backlog," she admitted.  "Hodges is helping you."

"Even better.  I can do that."  He carried the stack into the office and sat down behind the desk to look at them.  "Rookie mistakes," he said dryly after the first one.

"We've been doing at least three hundred samples a day," Greg offered.  "For the last three days.  I just told my wife I wouldn't be home for dinner tomorrow.  She's not pleased."  He grinned at him.  "But I get to start field training."

"Good on you, Greg.  Good on you."  He smiled and got up, going to help.  That's also when he fell down, no longer breathing.

"Shit," Greg moaned, pulling his wand and zapping him.  "Enervate!"  The man spasmed and started breathing again.  "Someone call someone to see him!" he yelled.  "He's having a heart attack!"  His wand went back into his pocket as people came running.  Sara gave him an odd look.  "Works better than a defibrilator."

"I can see that."  She got down to check him over then got moved out of the way as the ME came in to help.  "Greg shocked him."

"Good!" he agreed.  "Good, fast thinking.  Probably saved his life."  He got down to examine him, listening to his heart. "He's got that slurp going.  We will need paramedics."

"On their way," Nick agreed, carrying in a large box.  "That leaves you," he said quietly. "I'll help where I can."

"Hunt and gather for me, Nick.  We'll get further behind after I do these rape kits."  Nick nodded, going back to look for more bags of evidence and the samples they would contain.  He kept working as the paramedics came in.

"That's cold, man," one of them complained.

"Hey, I got him restarted and we're backlogged.  You want rapists to not get caught?" he demanded coolly.  The paramedic backed down at his icy stare.  "Thank you!  Do whatever you need to for him, I'll call his wife once you're gone."  They nodded, loading him up.

"Already done that, Greg."

"Thanks, boss.  How's your head?"

"You're right, that stuff tasted sickening, like regurg."

"Yeah, it does," he said dryly.  "Been there, done that a few times."  He continued to work, putting everything carefully together and out of the way, writing case names and CSI of record on the reports.  Just in case.  So they wouldn't have to do this again. "This sucks," he decided.  He looked around once everyone had gone, then sat down for a minute to sip his cool coffee.  He looked at the stack of files.  He looked at all the evidence bags.  He looked up in time to see Nick walking his way and had to make sure he didn't mix up any samples as he walked past the table.  "Gris, come take these, they're done," he called.  He looked at his partner.  "How many more?"

"That's all I could find, Greg."

"Fine.  Now let's see what I can do."

"You can't magic the samples," he said flatly.

"No, but I can damn sure warp time.  I'll need a very good nap after this and you might want to check my blood sugar.  Bring me my coffeemaker and my coffee so I can make another pot.  Bring me the sugar too if you can steal it back."  Nick just gave him an odd look.  "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing."  He got up and went to hand out those reports and grab the good coffeemaker he had imported, along with his coffee, the sugar he had brought in, and a few snack cakes.  He leaned into Grissom's office.  "I'm warping time now.  I'll need a nap and be prepared for me to have a sugar crash when I come out.  I'm closing my blinds and the doorway.  You won't be able to get in until I'm done."  He left before he could do more than gape, kicking Nick out so he could do the complicated spell.  Fortunately the electricity would still be flowing and the machines still worked.  Gris could make up an excuse for why it all got done so promptly.  Finally, he felt it take hold and went to start a new pot of good coffee.  He was definitely going to need it.

Working

Egyptian Deities:  http://www.egyptianmyths.net/section-deities.htm

Xander appeared in the city long before his apprentices would.  They had a special portkey that would bring them in about two hours, which would give him enough time to clear the courtyard of any curses and set up a tent.  Ron's tents blew over in a good wind and Draco made his impervious to noise.  Not good when you had to be careful and protect yourself.  He actually got more than the courtyard marked and cleared, he got the first building magically undug and opened so he could glance inside as they showed up. "Put your stuff in the tent, watch out for any spots that are marked with red chalk, then meet me in front of the well!" he yelled.  "You've got ten minutes!"  He went back to glancing from the doorway, smiling at the pretty pictures on the walls.  "All right!  Real Greek frescos in Arabia."  He nodded and trudged that way, going to meet up with the boys.  Harry was with them.  They had lost their last game so he was free for the season.  "Red marks are bad," he called when he saw Ron nearly step on one.  "That'll eat you."  Ron backed away carefully and paid more attention to the ground around his feet.  "Thank you, Ron."

"Mum would kill me if I got eaten," he said sarcastically, joining him by sitting on the side of the well.  "Water?"

Xander picked up a pebble and tossed it down the well, listening as it went a very long way down before hitting bottom.  "There's a hole, it went back into the underground river."

"Is that why they gave this *charming* place up?" Harry asked.

"No, it's been buried and hidden for a while before that," Xander assured him in that same dry tone.  "Draco?"  He came out of the tent.  "You can fuss with your potions later."

"I'm getting the one that lets us see magical auras, like you wanted us to have," he said snidely, going back into the tent to do that.  He came back out with the flagon and handed it to his husband.  "There.  Now what?"

"Now, you don't step on the red marks.  You all know the official chalk code.  Be very careful."  He looked at them.  "First, we're going to teach all of you how to put up a tent properly.  Then one of you will dig a latrine.  The other two of you will finish searching the courtyard for more nasty spells and make sure all the chalk marks are correctly placed and dark enough to be seen at night.  No magic on the chalk, it'll glow."  They all sighed and nodded.  "Then we'll start with the farthest building out, finishing the unburying and then moving to mark the inside.  I'll be figuring it out and premarking it while someone digs the latrine and the others work on the chalk."  They sighed and nodded again.  "Good!  Ron, you make your tents able to fly away like a little birdie in a snit.  Draco, yours are too stiff and you can't hear through them.  Learn appropriate skills from each other. Harry, start on the latrine."

"He might find a hidden demon or something," Draco complained.

"Then you'd better piss pretty carefully," Xander told him, taking the potion with him.  "Go to work, boys.  We'll need an artifacts tent so we're not sleeping on them."

"Yes, sir," they complained in near unison, trudging off to work on their new duties.  This was not as fun as they thought.

"Real work sucks.  Get used to it," Xander called back without having to look.

All three boys flipped him off in finest British youth style.

***

Alex looked at his crew as they joined him in the first building.  "Okay, do we know why we're starting on this end?"

"Personal preference," Draco said dryly. "You just work like this, even back at the swamp."

"Good point," Xander agreed dryly, "but I did have a better reason this time."  He got out of the way, letting them see the inside.  "What does this look like to you?"

"A shrine?" Harry suggested, looking confused.  "Was the altar there?" he asked, pointing at all the chalk marks.

"Close," Xander offered.  "But you didn't read your homework," he taunted with a smirk.  "Ron?"

"It's too large to be a home altar."

"Not so. This far out of the city, you're going to have the wealthier homes.  Look at the size of it.  Look at the decorations on the walls.  Poor families couldn't afford Greek frescos. Nor could they afford to have this much magic floating around the house.  You'll only find one type of house farther out than the rich houses, and do we know what those are?"

"The houses for the insane?" Ron offered.

"Or, those for the mystical and the ones that people are scared of," Harry offered.

"Which were usually the same," Draco sneered lightly.  Xander swatted him.  "Hey!"

"Behave.  Be respectful of the spirits of the people we're disturbing.  Trust me, there's still spirits floating around this city.  There always are. Though, you're all right.  The powerful mystics, the herbal healers, those who talked to the stars and the desert sands. Those who were respected, feared, and those you changed sides of the street to get away from, which could all be the same person, depending on who you talk to."  He looked inside the house.  "That's a home altar.  It probably had a pretty impressive set of statues to their chosen deities.  This isn't the richest of the rich quarters.  This was probably the home of either a fairly high priest or a merchant.  It's not seemingly big enough for a full family so I'm guessing the owner was single. Now, we're going to look through the house.  The only thing I marked was the altar and two very virulent curses that can and will eat us all.  So let's all watch where we're going.  There is no such thing as letting down your guard in here.  Never, ever, ever.  Got it?"  All three males nodded. "Good.  Then let's proceed in.  Bow to the altar so you don't upset anyone who might be hanging around, like the owner who's hiding in the next room."

"You can tell spirits?" Ron asked, looking interested in that.

"They like me," Xander said dryly, turning and bowing to the altar he had outlined.  Then he led the boys on to the next room.  Apparently Draco didn't.  The ghost flew down and went through him, making him shriek and bat at it.

"Get off me, you nasty bitch!"

"Female ghost?" Ron asked dryly.

"Yes!"

"Then I guess it's the house of a priestess," Harry said, looking around.  "We won't hurt you.  He's not always respectful, but we're curse breakers here to see if we can learn from what you've left behind for us.  We seek to recover knowledge, then we'll rebury the city and leave you in peace."

"My gold," she moaned, floating down in front of Alex.

"I probably should, if there's anything left, but if it disturbs you, I'll leave it alone.   We have more than enough gold in our lives."  The ghost backed off.  "We're here seeking knowledge.  If you want your gold to stay hidden, don't tell us where it is."  He shrugged.  "Where are the books and the library?"  The ghost pointed a hand behind her.  "In a wall or is there a temple that way?"

"Temple," she whispered, sounding reverent.  "Mine."

"Cool, then maybe you can show us where the religious texts are first?"  She nodded.  "Even better.  Let us finish looking around here first."

"Have many others have been through here?" Harry asked her politely.  "Many?  Like us?"

She shook her head.  "Raiders," she hissed, ducking her head.  "Wanderers looking for visions.  A few who sought us but we hid."  She moved closer to Draco.  "One like you."

"Probably a distant relative," he sighed, shaking his head.  "Some of them were very disturbing to more normal ones of us.  I'd apologize but it won't make them go away in the past."

The ghost nodded.  "We made her go away," she hissed.  "This way."  She walked through a wall and outside, and the boys met her out there after jogging back through the house; this time all of them bowed at her shrine.  She smiled at them and led them down the path she had taken to her temple.  She had not been the highest of high priestesses but she was one of the few remaining.  The others would judge their worth and kill them if they were there to steal.

Xander found the opening to the temple first, basically tripping over it, and tumbling down the stairs. "Ow."  He stood up rubbing his now-sore shoulder and looked around.  He pulled his wand.  "Luminos."  The room lit up with the faint light and he smiled at the scenes drawn on the walls.  He checked the floor, then looked at the ghost.  "Traps?"  She shook her head.  "It's safe, boys."  They walked more sedately down the stairs, lighting up their wands as well.  He went over to look at some of the more crude drawings, obviously done after whatever cataclysm had happened, nodding at the standard pictures.  He pointed at one.  "Demon?  Big snake demon?"  She nodded.  "Methuselah?"  She nodded again.  "I've seen such and stopped one before.  Boys, there was an ascension here, that's what helped destroy the village."

"Cool," Ron breathed, coming over to look at it.  "I wondered what one of those looked like."

"Too big to kill outright," Xander said dryly.

"Yeah, well, it'd still be neat to see.  Some of the demons you've pointed out have been very odd."

"He's doing a small study of them," Harry offered, shrugging a bit.  "Dawn suggested it."

"The sister of a slayer would," Draco sighed.  "We've got to get her out of that mindset."

"Why?  I studied them in the past.  Lots and lots of people liked to capture them and tie them to their defenses as guardians.  Makes it easier to get through them if you know how to kill them," Xander shot back with a smirk.  "Okay, let's move on.  I have the feeling she's bringing us to the other spirits."  The ghost nodded and floated through a wall.  "Find the doorway."

Draco found it and the trigger, opening it for them.  They walked into a shrine filled with gold and silver statues, wincing a bit as his wand's light reflected back.  "Oooooh."  He found a candle.  "May I light it?"  The ghost nodded so he lit the candle and dispersed his wand light.  He did a general trap check of the room, noting the three he found with hanging light symbols over them.  "It's safe.  I've marked."

Xander came in and looked around, marking a third that was on the actual altar itself.  "Hidden demonic thing, probably trapped from the ascension," he said at the odd look.  He bowed to the altar and the boys did as well.  "This is impressive.  I see Tiamat.  I see Isis. I see Set and Osiris."  He moved a bit closer.  "I also see Amon, Qetesh, Tefnut, Meshkhent, Ma'at, Nun, and Selket."  He saw the confused look on all three boys' faces.  "Didn't get to that homework yet?" he asked dryly.

"They're all Egyptian but Tiamat," Ron offered.  "Nature, childbirth, a few for the dead, one of magic. That's about all I remember."

"Someone needs to teach a mythology course at Hogwarts as an elective," Draco said bitterly.  "I would have taken it, it would have been easier."

"Suggest it to the old fart," Xander said dryly.  He looked back and bowed to Selket's statue.  "Lady Goddess of Magic be praised," he whispered.  He looked around and found the hidden doorway.  "Back through there?" he asked the ghost.  "I can feel others hiding."

"No, this way," she hissed, leading them into a library.  "The others will join you shortly."  She faded out.

Xander looked at all the crumbling scrolls, then at his very destructive boys.  "No touching, they'll fall apart due to your skin.  This is one of those times when you wear gloves, full shielding gear, and work in a controlled environment so you don't hurt the knowledge."  He moved to look at the names on the bookcases.  "In Egyptian also.  I'm guessing it was a fortification town for the Egyptian army when they spread out this way," he noted, moving on to look at more titles.  He found the history section and found a relatively new scroll, lifting it down carefully to look it over.  "There's been others here," he announced and his boys rushed over to read around him.  "Hey, it was Bill on his second round of training, while I was on vacation."  He looked up as more ghosts came in, handing that scroll to Ron.  "I do not wish the gold, neither did the other redhead when he was here."

"We know," the one in the lead, a very old looking male figure noted.  "The other only wished to steal."

Xander nodded. "Some of the curse breakers are like that.  They get paid based on what they find."

"As do you."

"Yes, but I also *learn* from what I find," he said dryly.  "As did Bill."  The man smiled at that.  "In truth, the gold would be well hidden among us, but I will not steal it nor will I demand it."

"Your name?"

"Alexander Dumass."  He bowed to them.  "Wizard."

"I had noticed you bowed and prayed to Selket," the old man offered.  "You are like those who trained in Alexandria?"

Xander considered it, then shrugged.  "I know not much of that school.  I trained in England.  Among those who came from the Druids."

"Ah!  You use nature magic?"

"Sometimes, and sometimes I'm more a force for destruction," he admitted with a small smirk.  "You may test me, I'm very open to your sort."  The ghost gave him an odd look.  "I know you know what I'm talking about.  It's not been that long since the last one did."  The ghost moved closer, putting a hand into his head, then slowly pulling it out.  He bowed to Xander and pointed at a wall.  Xander went that way, opening the hidden case, and found a map.  "Where is this to?"

"Maldagesh."

"Maldagesh?  That's a myth," Draco said firmly.

"Quit," Xander warned.  "Don't insult them.  All myths have some basis in reality, Draco."

"Fine."

"Sorry, my student and spouse."  He grinned at him.  "He researches very well."

"I thought him a concubine but I could see you did adore him."  The ghost smiled at Draco, making him shiver.  "He is more than pretty enough to be a concubine."

"He is," Xander agreed, grinning at his own mate, "but then I would have to treat him differently.  I wouldn't get to bring him along and make him work."  He went back to studying the map, then he looked at the ghosts.  "I know of Bill.  I trained him first.  He's still around.  May I turn this hunt and learning over to him?"  The ghosts stared at each other, then they all nodded.  "Then let me retreat outside to call him."

"You can use our fires," a ghost in the back offered.

"I wouldn't wish to desecrate them with my chemicals."

"Not a problem.  That's what they're there for."  Xander nodded, following that one to the fire in a back room of the temple.  He pulled out his stash of floo powder and picked a corner spot, tossing a bit in.  "Bill Weasley."  His face spun into being in the fire.  "You were here once.  Want to come back?  They showed me a map to Malgadesh."

"The temple with the gold statues?" he asked.  Alex nodded.  "I'll be there tonight.  You've got the boys, right?"  He nodded.  "Good.  Be there tonight, Alex.  Thank you."  His head disappeared.

Xander looked at the others, then bowed.  "He would probably ask to take the scrolls."

"We know what is on them, they would benefit many," the male ghost noted.  "He is favored by Amon.  It is shown in his aura.  You may take the map."

"I thank you."  He bowed again and went back there, going to take the map, and the book it was in, to a table to look at.  "Ron, got paper and a pencil?"

"Yeah, Xander."  He handed it over, letting him trace out something and then compare it.  "What's that?"

"Malgadesh was found once," he admitted.  "The curse breaker only remembered this much of his trip after he was kicked out.  One of the greedy bastards," he noted dryly, comparing it to the lower end of the map.  "Ah, he only remembered to Raven."  He pointed at the mark, then traced the rest with his finger barely not touching the parchment.  "That's nearly six hundred miles back into the mountains from where the city is."  He looked at them.  "You three are going to be working with Bill while I go get permission to do this dig.  It'll take me a few weeks.  Any problems?"  Draco gave him an odd look.  "We can do it mentally.  I'll be going off all the time anyway," he said with a fond smirk.  "I'll have to be in the oldest of the old books to do my quick research for my proposal.  You guys will be good with Bill and he'll teach you preservation techniques, which he's excellent at.  One of the best we've got, even outside of the museum or the catacombs."  They all nodded.  "Good.  Bill will be here tonight.  Or possibly sooner," he said, hearing someone stomping their way.  "Hey," he greeted.  "That was fast."

"I told the goblin in charge that you ran into trouble and needed me."  He grinned.  "He said I could come to find the one who finds the lost.  No one else would do your job."  He looked at the map.  "Malgadesh."  He compared the hand-drawn trip to the map.  "That far away?"  Xander smirked and nodded.  "Have fun in the catacombs.  Better you than me, mate."  Xander hopped up, gave him a hug, then took off with the book from that spot.  "Okay," Bill said with a grin, looking around.  "I always wanted to go through this place and read every single scroll.  What we're going to be doing is a copy spell, a preservation spell, and one to hold it steady while we carefully pack and move it.  Know those yet?"  The boys shook their heads. "Didn't think so.  I created two of them and they're advanced studies for those in the catacombs.  Let's work on my old one," he offered, pulling it back down to teach them this spell.

"What about the main temple and the wall art?" Harry asked.

"We'll be taking wizarding pictures of it once we've got it appropriately lit," Bill said with a grin.  "Nothing else."

"I didn't think we were going to take the whole walls," Harry snorted.  "What about the higher rooms?  I can feel a higher room."

"That's a burial chamber, Harry, and we go nowhere in here unless we're invited," Bill said firmly.  "Not with the ghosts of those lost still here."  Harry nodded at that.  "Though I wouldn't mind looking at the mummies myself, see if they were done in a certain style, which would date them to a certain era."

"Xander said it was probably an outpost town for the Egyptian military."

"It probably was," he agreed.  "Though they're in the area where you'd start to see crossovers of religions.  I saw the one to Tiamat out there. If there's other temples left, you'd probably find more to that pantheon there."  He looked at them.  "Did the mythology book yet?"  They all shrugged but looked sheepish.  "They should teach that as a class."

"I think so too, it'd be an easy elective," Draco offered.  "Even if it was only for a year."

"They need a curse-breaker's lineup of classes," Ron said dryly.  "Things so we learn what we need to get into our training.  The extra charms classes, the language classes, the mythology class, preservation and art classes. Things like that."

"We think so too," Bill admitted with a smirk for him.  "We can't convince the board.  They said the other specialties would need one as well."

"Healer's have one," Harry reminded him.  "It's only done in the seventh year though."

"So Gringotts would need to test and pre-admit people during the summer before," Draco offered.  "Could they?"

"They could.  They do in France," Bill assured him.  "Plus in Brazil and Cuba."  He shrugged.  "We're trying but it's not helping any."

"I'm a Regent," Draco told him.  "I just don't attend since my mother's doing it."

"Oooh, we'll go find her," Bill assured him smugly.  "Thanks for that, lad.  Let's get down to work.  We've got tons of it to do."

***

Xander walked into his goblin boss's office boldly about three days later, looking very tired, smelling like the catacombs and that he hadn't taken a bath since he had gotten back, and about to collapse, but this was too important and someone might steal stuff from him.  His boss gave him an odd look for it though.  "My city had ghosts.  They liked me and Bill's approach.  They gave me a map to Malgadesh."  He handed over the original book and his notes.  "I want it with Bill and my crew."

The goblin leaned back in his chair as he read, grunting now and then at the right points.  "You do have the right affinities.  I can see you realize why the last three failed."  He looked at him.  "You'd leave the gold?"

"If I had to, yeah.  You know gold's not my priority.  The same as Bill's probably leaving it where he is now.  There's ghosts there and the gold is all in their temple.  We're not the disrespecting sort."

"Good point.  We had wondered why he spelled you and you went to the catacombs."  He looked at the map again.  "He lost much of his trip."

"That demon guard was good," Xander agreed. "I checked, no one's been near that valley in centuries.  Valdesh said that he felt a hidden area but that was almost six days before he died of that strange fever.  Macarovich was about the same way when he reported it then went insane.  Then again, neither one knew a thing about demons and I do."

"You do," he agreed lightly.  "I wish it hadn't been necessary for you to learn, Alex."

"Yeah, well, I knew a good bit before I got there," he noted dryly.  "I kept running into them so I studied them.  Ooooh, Draco wanted me to pass back some information.  Did you know his mother's taken his father's seat on Hogwart's board?"  The goblin smirked at that.  "He said that Harry said that healers are given special classes in their seventh year as well.  Mostly private study time and the like.  Extra potions as well probably.  We can easily set out a curriculum for our own kind.  Oh, please add mythology to that.  Too many of us get into trouble in the field by not having a clue and it leads to frustration later by misidentifying a temple's guardians."

"I will make note of that for our board.  I'll bring this to them as well.  The others may want a more experienced crew to go there."

"There's no one else who could beat the demon guarding it," Xander said dryly.  "Not even if you borrowed a slayer.  I want Bill Weasley and myself.  That's two very experienced ones and he's one of the top people in preservation techniques, which I'm praying he's teaching the boys. I'll have my three guys and Dawn during vacations.  That's powers, brains, and brawn.  I want standard commission and we won't be needing much in the way of support.  Draco's doing healing potions for us. We've already proven that Ron and Draco have what it takes since they were the ones who found Merlin's tomb and led the twins down there to deal with the demon trying to spawn.  They need challenging areas to work in and to train in.  I can't just stick them in a tomb and say 'go find the gold' like you can with the average breaker.  It's an insult to their skills.  Plus, Draco's a kick-ass researcher. Between us, we can easily teach the boys how to catalog, how to pack things for shipping better, and how to do most everything at a major site."

"Fine.  I'll talk to the board on your behalf, Alex.  Go sleep for a few days.  The next board convenes in two days."  He nodded, smiling as he walked out.  "Those boys do need more than the standard training," he complained.  "They're very strong and a tight team."  He took the book and the papers to the board room and waited.  The others would feel him in there and come as soon as they had a few free moments.  It took less time than he thought, so they must have noticed where Alex had come back to.  Cairo's manager was in first.  "Wealey has taken over Alex Dumass' students for a few days," he assured him.  "He was at that temple before and there are many scrolls."

"More knowledge?  Wonderful!"  He looked at the book.  "That looks ancient as well."

"The spirits at that village gave this to Breaker Dumass.  It contains a map to Malgadesh."

The Cairo manager went to drag the few missing goblins into the room.  This was important and it was going to be a long discussion, but one they needed.

Gruinth cleared his throat.  "Breaker Dumass was recently assigned a village with his team."

"Did he and his trainees become Lost?" one of them demanded.

"No, but the spirits there were so impressed that they gave him a book with a map to Malgadesh.  Weasley is covering for him and teaching his trainees about preservation at the moment while he made sure this was a legitimate find.  He came in before sleeping to present it and ask to take it with Breaker Weasley to aid him."

"Bill?" Cairo's manager said fondly.  "He'd love that."

"He would and the trainees have proven to be quite strong and affinitied.  Two of them were the ones who helped with the Merlin's tomb incident."  That got some appreciative looks.  "So Breaker Dumass wants it for himself."

"He has earned the right to be there.  He's one of our top people in the field," one noted.

Another grunted.  "Weasley does preservation teaching to some of mine.  He'd be good for it.  Plus, there's a demon guarding it.  Not many could take it down."

"What did he want in the way of support?"

"His mate does healing potions and research so they think they can do most of it by themselves.  He wanted his standard commission and normal support.  He thinks he can beat the demon.  He'll also be bringing his last apprentice, Summers, when she's out of school."

The others considered it, then one leaned forward.  "Who else would be on the list to go?"

"A preservation and control team," another noted.  "Basically, the catacomb staff."

"Who'd still have to call in someone like Dumass to kill the demon and remove all the traps," another noted.  That got some nods.  "What is his commission?"

"Fifteen percent.  He pays his apprentices out of his.  Weasley's is ten."

"Not too bad.  They could both command higher pay."

"They could but they know we'd never send them anywhere," one joked.

"Or we'd send them somewhere to injure them to save on fees," another retorted, smirking at that.  "What about equipment costs?"

"Dumass has most of what he needs.  He may need some pack animals or some tents or the like.  Standard expedition gear that we've got by the warehouse-ful."  He shrugged.  "Nothing that would cost us much.  Even if we did have to advance his mate some to make the healing potions for them."

"He doesn't want a true healer?"

"He's linked to Professor Snape, who can always get Poppy Pomfrey to help him," Gruinth noted.  "The professor noted himself as being Alex's son during that last battle with Voldemort."  That meant that anything extraordinary that the professor would brew would not be charged more than material cost, thus saving them and his father money.  "The only downside I can see to this expedition is the cost of the commissions.  With that large a find, there's bound to be many things that would be considered priceless and Dumass is one to seek out knowledge first and gold second."

"There's a standard fee for those things," one of the other managers noted.  "Or at least there is with mine."  Gruinth nodded that he did the same.  "We would still gain more than lose in that case and it would give us further research to add to our coffers afterward."

"If Dumass is one to search out knowledge, would he keep copies of things for himself?" one asked dryly.

"He does tend to," Gruinth admitted, "but he does it for his own personal use usually.  Any potions would be going to Professor Snape or his mate, Malfoy-Dumass.  Then again, they're the sort who would be offered research projects anyway."  They all considered this.  "I told him I'd let him know in two days so he could rest.  He hadn't slept since he got back."

"Interesting," one of them noted.  "He was very at home in the catacombs from what I heard."

"He helped set up the spells on the present catacombs his last time around," Gruinth reminded him. "He has always had a second home down there."

Everyone looked at the other and one shrugged.  "We would not see a problem with this.  His four apprentices, Breaker Weasley and Breaker Dumass, plus any he would pay for out of his share?"  Gruinth nodded. "Then do so.  The gains outweigh the losses in this case."

"Thank you."  He left, going back to his office, finding Alex sitting in his chair.  "New information?"

"No, anxious people and my father's puttering around the nursery, giving me strong looks," he said, sipping his coffee.  "Well?"

"You may have the staff you asked for and normal expedition gear from the warehouse, plus pack animals.  Do you need anything else?"

"No," he said with a fond grin.  "I can do the other stuff myself and get Sev to start on the potions.  By the way, that room echos really badly.  You might want to put up some tapestries or something."  He stood up.  "Thank you.  Book?"  It was handed back.  "Love you, dude, really."  He disappeared from the spot, heading to the school.

Gruinth went back to the meeting.  "Also, Breaker Dumass did give me some good news.  Mr. Malfoy-Dumass' mother is sitting on Hogwart's board and there is a special set of classes for healers and medi-witches."  That got some smirks.  "He suggested we include a mythology class in the special classes as well."

"I'll talk with her," the goblin from Paris noted.  "I know where she is."

"Thank you.  It would be of great help."  He looked around.  "He said it echoed.  He was waiting in my office.  He suggested some tapestries to stop that problem."  He went back to his office and got comfortable behind his desk.  Most of his breakers only created a little bit of paperwork with their reports and financial requests.  He could willingly do the greater stacks for those few who were exceptional.  Especially when they did most of them for him as he found out.  He smiled at the requisition form, signing it immediately and sending it on.  He didn't care that they wanted double-sized cots.  Breakers in the field often got together. It was no business of his how or why as long as they did their work.

***

Xander walked up to the front doors of the school and looked up.  "Need to see the son," he whispered, laying a hand on the stone wall next to him.  The door opened for him and he strolled in, heading down to the dungeons.  He listened to the classroom, noticing that Severus was winding down.  He jogged up to Charms and found that professor finishing up a test.  He caught his attention and waved him out, simply showing him the map.  Professor Flitwick's eyes opened wide and he stared at him, getting a wink in return.  "I'm going down to bug Sev."

"He's got this next period with the first years."

"And?  He's got an office."  He grinned, heading down there again.  The change bell went off while he was walking so he got to snag Dawn from her trek to Defense as well, walking her down there.  He boldly walked into the potions classroom and into the office, making Snape stare at his back.  "Join us and bring Flitwick if he's coming.  There's news."

"Fine," he complained, going to let the next class in.  He stared them down until they settled in and started to work on what they were continuing without him having to do more than glare.  "I will be in my office.  You will behave," he said once he had taken roll.  He walked in there, noting Professor Flitwick was already in there and looking at a very old book.  "What's that?"

"A map to Malgadesh," he said proudly.  "We're heading there with Bill once he's done in the city we were just starting.  I'm headed back there tonight actually."  He got out of the way so the professor could look at the map for himself.  "Also, there's other news.  The goblins are going to approach Narcissa about doing for the curse breakers what we do for those who want to heal people.  I've requested a mythology class as well," he finished dryly, grinning at Dawn.  "Hi."

"Hi.  What's Malgadesh?"

"It's a mythical city of the Ancients," Snape informed her quietly.  "One person nearly found it but the demon guarding it erased most of his trip after beating him."

"It's about seven hundred miles past where he got erased down to," Xander finished.  "So we're taking Bill and you and the guys and going up there.  I've got Bill filling in for me at the moment with the boys, teaching them how to preserve things."

"I'll teach her those before the holidays," Flitwick promised.  "When do you go?"

"After this current one is done," Xander admitted.  "We signed a contract that we'd do this one."

"You could go do this new one then come back since the boys will be worn out and more experienced," Snape offered.

"I could. It's an Egyptian outpost city."  He grinned at Snape.  "I flipped through the rest of the book, it was a travel journal by a healer.  As you're family, you would have access to any research I kept and you would be the sort of researcher that Gringotts would offer research to do for them, since you're family and all," he finished with a smirk.  "Plus, someone around here would have to help the breakers and you two would be the best candidates for that since you know a few and he worked as one of us for a few years."

"We only need one staff overlooking the few students," Flitwick noted.  "I could do that and turn it over to Severus when I finally retired."  He smiled. "Anything in there for me?"

"A few other maps."  He shrugged. "I only glanced through it.  It's in Macedonian.  Written by a healer trainee for Alexander's grandfather's army.  He stumbled onto our mysterious city during a fever.  There weren't people then either."

"Very interesting," Snape admitted.  "May I borrow this book?"

"As long as I get the map and you make us all the healing potions we'll need.  Draco's going to be too busy to do that between the current things and that thing."

"You'll pay for ingredients?"

"Of course," he promised dryly.  "When haven't I?"  Snape smirked at that.  "I'll set up a line of credit or give you however much you spend.  Your choice."

"I'll take you with me after classes tonight," he offered.  "Once you've slept."  Xander

grinned but did yawn again.  "How long has it been?"

"Three days in the catacombs.  Oh, speaking of which.  Ginny Weasley, any good for that stuff?"  Flitwick nodded.  "They're looking for a new person down there to deal with some animate statuary of animals.  It's getting away from them.  They're highly understaffed."

"That's mostly a research position?" Snape asked.  Xander nodded and Flitwick beamed.  "Then there are some excellent researchers who excel in multiple areas at the moment.  I'll contact a few and give Professor Flitwick a list of who I know."

"I'll do the same and compare them," he agreed happily.  "Who is over that now, Alex?"

"Um, Torgren.  I work with Gruinth though.  You could probably go through him too."

"Of course.  I remember him when he was unmated," Flitwick noted happily.  "We used to train together."  He looked at the book.  "I think I can copy that map for you, Alex, and let you go to your nap.  We'll work with Dawn so she's up to snuff when you start working with her.  Mythology?"  He nodded.  "That's fine.  She can do some of that for me as well."

"I'm only a third year," Dawn reminded them.  "I've got a few more years to do alllll this stuff."

"Indeed you do and I'll expect you to be exceptional when you're done with it," Xander said dryly, kissing her on the side of the head.  "So, I'll be sending you a climate report once we get there, that way you know what to pack for the holidays.  We'll be back for Christmas Eve until the twenty-eighth, then heading back there.  I'll send you back for your first day back, or maybe the day after that if we're too involved," he admitted, "then if we're still working on it, it'll be again this summer.  Got it?"  She nodded.  "Good girl, Dawnie.  How's Midnight?"

"Napping on my bed with the dragon again," she said dryly.  "He was not a happy dragon this morning and ran away from Hagrid because he wouldn't let him have any laced tea."  She shrugged and beamed at him.  "How's Ron?"

"Learning how not to destroy from his big brother," he said fondly.  "You'll see him soon, princess."  He kissed the side of her head again.  "Good deal, Sev?"

"Fine," he agreed, smirking at his father.  He was such a manipulative bastard some days.  "I'll want to see the pictures and reports as well."

Xander leaned closer.  "I fully expect to copy off every single scroll that we find in both spots," he said dryly.  "You can play librarian over the holidays if you want."  He punched him on the arm and took the map from Flitwick, making sure it was correct.  "Thanks, man.  Happy classes.  Behave, Dawnie.  I'll see you guys soon."  He waved and left, heading back down to the apparation barrier.

"Alex!" Dumbledore called.  "Why are you back?"

"Getting some support.  We've found Malgadesh and we're heading there next."

"Oh my," he said, smiling at that.  "Excellent job, Alex, excellent.  I'm sure they'll have Dawn up to speed very soon."  He waved, watching as he left.  That would be quite prestigious for his student and his teachers.  He went down to talk to Snape between classes, knowing he'd be involved in this as well as Flitwick.  He found him making an extensive list of ingredients and looked at it.  "Need restocked already?"

"Alex is paying me to make his healing potions this time since Draco won't have time," he said dryly, glancing up at him. "I was also informed that I could put myself forward for some research from Gringotts since they do favor things staying within the family."

"Fine, very good actually," Dumbledore praised.  "I wouldn't mind in the least, Severus.  It would only make your own reputation grow and be quite prestigious for this school.  Tell me if you need anything."  He left, going to check on Flitwick, he had to be floating by now.  Which he was, he was floating above his desk, on his back with his legs crossed and knees upraised, while reading a very old book.  "Alex's?"

Flitwick smiled.  "Yes, actually it is.  I wanted to see some of the background history in it.  Simply fascinating."  He went back to his reading.  "We'll be working out a suitable set of classes for Miss Summers this week, Albus.  She'll need some extra training and Alex has let me know what he'd like included finally."

"That's fine.  I'll let her drop an elective and work with you on that.  Like the seventh year's special healing classes?"

"Most likely," he admitted.  "Myself, Professor Snape, and Professor Armwrench will be most involved.  We can go to Minerva if you want to not be bothered."

"No, that's fine," he assured him happily.  "Are you going to apply for research as well?"

"Only if something comes up in one of my fields.  Mostly it's historical research and potions, not really my thing," he admitted dryly.  "If something comes up in my area then I'll apply."  He turned the page, going back to his browsing.  It was really quite fascinating how that healer trainee had gotten into so much trouble.

"I'll let you read.  Keep me informed," he said before leaving, going back to his office to celebrate this momentous occasion.  He'd wait to see what the curse breakers and goblins came up with this time for special training requirements before getting too upset on Miss Summer's behalf.

***

Greg Sanders walked into one of his favorite bookstores, smiling at one of the clerks he knew.  "Time for my kids to have more books," he said proudly.

"They've been rearranged a bit to make room for the new Potter display," he offered.

"Potter? Beatrix?"

"No," she chuckled. "Harry."  He blinked a few times.  "Surely you've heard of him?"

"Oh, yeah, I have.  I didn't think he'd have that big of a display."  He headed that way, mulling this over in his mind.  Harry had written a book?  About what?  He found the display and blinked a few more times, staring at it.  "Sorcerer's stone.  Uh-huh."  He glanced around before picking up the first book, the spots for the second book were bare, and headed to get his kids other books.  He'd tell someone better equipped to handle this later.  He found the little kid's book section and found some that interested him, after all, he'd have to read it over and over and over for a few more years, taking them all up to the register.  "Are there any more copies of book two?" he asked the woman when she smiled at book one.  "I've not seen much about these yet."

"No, not if there's none in the display.  They sold out wildly," she admitted.  "We had kids in here waiting for four and six hours to get their copies the day it came out.  We can hold you back a copy when we get the next shipment in.  It'll be a few days though."

He shook his head.  "I'll go through book one first, then I'll come back.  That should be about the same time."

"You might still want to have one on hold, sir.  They're going to sell out pretty fast too," she said quietly.  "They're like that.  Anything that can make a ten-year-old wait in line, quietly and patiently without whining, for six hours is something that's going to sell out quickly.

He nodded once.  "I'll let you know.  Let me read the first one first."  She nodded, slipping one of their bookmarks into that book, it had their number on it.  She took his debit card and ran it, letting him sign the slip, then handed him his bag.  "Thank you."

"Have a nice day, sir."

Greg nodded. "Probably.  My kids'll be very happy with me."  He headed for the car, getting in to look at the back of that first book.  "Huh," he said dryly, picking up his phone to call his wife.  "Who wrote the books about Harry's life?" he asked.  She spluttered.  "No, I just found the first book about Harry's life and first year of school.  Yeah, I'm bringing it home.  Book two just came out but it's already sold out.  They said it'd be a few days until it got in."  He listened to her telling Teller that and snickered.  "Tell him I said hi and to come for an early dinner. He can read 'San a few stories."  He hung up and headed for his house.  It didn't look like it'd be a hard read so he'd start on it while she had the kids with her.

***

Hodges stuck his head into the lab, noticing what Greg was reading.  "Harry Potter?" he asked dryly.

"Yeah, that dark haired kid with the scar on his forehead who hangs out with Ron, that redheaded kid who Alex is teaching," he said absently.

"What?" he asked, coming in and closing the door. "He's real?"

Greg blinked and looked up at him, nodding.  "Yeah, Harry's Alex's grandson, one of his apprentices.  The dark haired kid with the redhead."

"Then is that real?"

"I don't know," Greg admitted.  "I'm only skimming for bad things that can hurt us at the moment.  I'm going to send it to Alex once I've made a list of bad things, and probably get another copy for Severus."  He frowned.  "This could get really bad for the poor kid if this is true."

"Why?"

"Well, abusive home life.  I don't know who this person is, but she had to have went to school with him.  It must have been a fellow Slytherin too, though she obviously hated Draco's guts.  This could turn out pretty bad for a lot of people."

Hodges just nodded.  "We'll expect you to have a lot of meetings out of town then."  He headed back to his lab, with a sidestop to where Catherine was working.  "Did you know that Greg said that those Harry Potter books are possibly real?" he asked quietly.  Catherine choked.  "Didn't hear about those?"

"Not really.  There's a book about the poor guy?"  Hodges nodded.  "Who has a copy?"

"Greg.  He said he's skimming for bad things."

"Oh, no," she moaned, going to take the book and look through it herself.  Greg snatched it back and handed her the bookmark.  "Fine, I'll get my own copy."

"Thanks.  Send it to the Weasley clan and pick me up a second one too please.  I've got to send one to Alex and one to Severus."

"Sure, Greg.  Money?"  He handed over a ten.  "Not that expensive?"

"No, not in paperback.  There's a book two but it's mostly sold out at the moment."  He glanced around.  "Ten-year-old kids were standing patiently, quietly, and non-whining in lines for four to six hours to get this second book," he said quietly.

"I'll look online," she offered, handing him back the cash.  "Pay me back for both of them."  She went to find a free computer with 'net access and found Amazon very easily. It even had a banner proclaiming the second book was now out.   "Someone over there is going to die," she said quietly as she ordered two copies of book one and three of book two.  Two for Greg and one for her.

Grissom looked over her shoulder.  "I know that name."

"The author?"

"No, the name of the book."

"Yeah, it's that dark haired guy who Alex is teaching," she said dryly.  "Greg didn't know about this."

"Oooh, someone's going to get very angry with someone else.  I hope they have good CSI's over there."  He went back to his office to finish his copy of book two.   Now he knew where he had heard that name before.

***

Greg sat down in his most comfortable chair, touching his arm. "Alex?" he sent.  "You busy?"

"No, Greg," he got back.  "Why?"

"Did you know there's books about Harry?"

"Books about Harry?  Why?  About the final battle or something?"

"Well, the one I've got is book one and his first year."

"Excuse me?" Alex said, sounding a bit upset at that.  "First year?  Like Harry's first year in school?"

"Yeah," Greg sent back patiently.  "I've got book two on order but it hasn't come in yet."

"How close to the truth is it?" Alex asked, sounding really pissed now.

"That depends.  Was he starved and abused by his aunt and uncle and kept in a cupboard under the stairs?  Was Quirrel a bad guy who was hiding Voldemort's remaining spirit?"

"WHO THE BLOODY FUCKING HELL WROTE THAT!" Alex shouted.  "I'm going to kill someone!  Who!"

"Calm down, Alex."

"You calm down!  They're going to hurt him!"

"Do you have a floo so I can send this first book to you?" he asked calmly.  "I'll scan the second one and send it as soon as I've got it."

"Yeah, I do," he said firmly.

"What's the addy?" Greg asked.

"Xander's hole of research.  I'm in the Swamp."

"Deal.  Look for a small paperback."  He cut the connection, but apparently Alex wasn't done yet.  He was swearing now. Some very nice British swears, then he switched to French.

"What're you doing?" Emilia, his wife, asked from the kitchen.

"Um, listening to Alex swear in Japanese at the moment, ooh, just turned to Arabic."  He grinned back at her.  "We've got to send that first book to him.  I told him about it.  Apparently no one knew."

"Oooh," she winced.  "That poor kid."

"Yeah and Alex is a tad bit upset.  He's in one of the African languages now but I'm not sure which.  I'm thinking he only knows enough to swear in a few languages."

"Probably pretty handy," she admitted.  She brought him a sandwich.  "Teller brought it back last night.  Penn got his own copies."

"Thanks, dear."  He took his sandwich with him while he wrapped the book and sent it off.  It had been a good story, a bit easy to his mind, but it was a kid's book.   He wondered when book two was coming so he could read that one before sending it on.  Then again, he still had to pay Catherine back for buying those copies for him.

***

Alex calmly walked into the camp that night, pulling Ron aside and staring at him.  "I don't want you to freak," he said gently.

"My parents?" he demanded.  "Or Ginny?"

"No, not your family, well, not really about your family," he admitted.  He held up the book and Ron only gaped.  "I don't know who wrote it," he said quietly. "But we're going to have to tie Harry down so he doesn't kill them.  I've already read it and if that's true, he's never going outside of the house again."

Ron snatched it and flipped through the first few pages.  "Looks pretty realistic," he admitted grimly, heading to talk to Harry.  "Hey, Harry?" he called, trying to sound unworried and happy.  "Can we talk?"

"Ron, I'm not sleeping with you," he said dryly, glancing at him.  "What's that?"

"Um, this?"  He looked it over, then tossed it at him. "Someone sent it to Alex."

"Greg found it," Xander said as he walked in.  "He's getting a copy of book two as well."

"Excuse me?" Harry asked.  "Book *two*?"  He looked at the cover, then went pale and passed out.  When he came back around he found Draco reading it and snatched it from his hands. "Don't do that!" he snapped.  He settled in to read the first few pages, and let out a few moans.  "Who?" he demanded quietly, looking at the author. "I never heard of her."

"I'm guessing it's not her real name," Ron soothed, patting him on the back.  "How real is it?"  Harry gave him a stunned look.  "That's what we thought.  We'll do whatever we can to shield you, Harry.  I promise.  I won't even read it.  You can read it and tell us whatever you want about it."

"I don't want to read it, I lived it!" he shouted, tossing it away. Draco got up and retrieved the book, sitting down to start reading again.  "I don't want you to read it either!" he shouted, hexing him and storming over there to get the book back.  "Asshole."  He tossed it at Ron.  "The first few pages were extremely real, Ron.  So I'm guessing everything else is too."

"So you were locked in a cupboard under your relative's stairs?" Draco asked once he was unhexed by Bill, who was trying to sleep and would probably get Harry in a few minutes.  Harry glared at him.  "Just asking for form's sake.  If that's true, you could sue them."

"They don't have anything I want, Draco.  They're stupid, boring, and Alex took care of them for me."  He stared at the book.  "Oh, shit, they're going to kill me," he whined.

"I've already called Petunia before I came over," Alex said from outside.  "She knew about the first one.  They've moved and changed their name now.  Any idea on the writer?"

"It's right," Harry said bitterly.  "Someone had to know.  Hermione?"

"She wouldn't do that to you, Harry," Ron reminded him patiently.

"Yes she would!  It's obviously making someone a hell of a lot of money if there's a book two!" he shouted.

"Harry, shut up!" Bill yelled back.  "I can't sleep through this!"

"Bill, bite me!  Someone wrote out my bloody life and I get to yell about if I bloody well feel like it!"  He stormed out and Alex gave him a hug, trying to calm him down. "I need to destroy something," he muttered.

"Sure, we'll go blow up some sand," he promised, walking him off.

"It was obviously a Gryffindor," Draco said dryly.  "With how she described some of the people, it's fairly obvious."  Ron gave him an odd look.  "Most of us got past Snape's lack of haircare within a day.  The writer keeps saying he's a greasy git and unfair."

"He was!" Ron assured him.

"Yes, but no *Slytherin* would say that," Draco reminded him.  "Nor any Hufflepuff, who would say he was a meany or some such, or a Ravenclaw, who would be ranting about his mind going."

"Oh."  He looked at it.  "You think it was one of our house?"  Draco nodded.  "Got any idea who?"

"Who knew that much?"

"Dumbledore.  Hermione.  Maybe Neville."  He shrugged. "I don't know."

"Then sit down and read it, Ron, you'll figure it out. Just let me sleep," Bill complained.

"Sure, Bill. Sorry."  He sat down on Harry's bed to read it, frowning at it.  "It's fairly kiddy."

"It's a child's book, for young adults probably," Draco admitted.  "Probably around those of the same age as the main character.  Which means that later books should pick up some."

"Hopefully."  He continued to read, getting to the part where Harry had met him, his mother, and Ginny. "Well, they got us down right," he said bitterly. "Got Mum's voice to a 't'.  Even down to that stupid freckle on my nose."  A few pages later he grimaced. "I'm not a groupie of his!  I was into quidditch players at that time, not Harry!  Makes me look like a moon cow."

"When I peeked in at you two while snooping, you were giving him an adoring look," Draco taunted.

"I'll kick your arse," Ron said firmly.  "I was not."

"Sure you weren't," Draco taunted.

Ron pounced, beating the snot out of him for that.  He wasn't some mooning little boy who worshiped Harry.  "Do I look like a Creevy?" he demanded, hitting him again.  "I wasn't like that."

"Petrificus Totalis," Bill said from his bed, getting them both. "I said shut up."  He pulled the blankets over his head, going back to sleep. He felt better now and he'd let his mother handle it.  She could steamroll anyone and anything who upset Harry.  Ron had more important things to worry about, like work tomorrow.

***

Snape caught the package coming out of the floo, looking at the simple thing.  He opened it and stared at the cover.  "Who in Merlin's name?" he said with revulsion.  He shuddered.  Who would write a book about that boy?  Still, the note taped to the front cover said he should read it, it did out the community.  He sat down to read the first few chapters, wincing at some of the descriptions.  He finally got tired of it though and went to give it to Dumbledore.  "Here, Gregory sent this to me," he said, tossing it at the headmaster. "It's not the most complimentary and it does out the community."  He turned and walked off, leaving it in his hands.  Another package was waiting on him and he opened this one, grimacing. "There's two books?"  He shuddered and sent for a house elf to hand that to Albus as well. He didn't want to know, the boy hadn't been his and it wasn't his problem.

Albus Dumbledore accepted the second book, going back to his reading of the first.  "Get me some tea please," he ordered.  The house elf nodded, going to make him some tea and some snacks.  He'd probably need it with how many books he was reading. "Oh, dear," he sighed, turning the page. "Harry won't be pleased about this, nor will Alex most likely.  No, not pleased in the least."  When the house elf came back, he sent her to fetch Minerva McGonagall, bringing her running.  "Dear, I believe we have a problem and I think it could have only come from a Gryffindor," he said, handing her the book after marking his spot.  "Harry's probably a bit upset at the moment.  Charming description of you and Hagrid though."

"What?" she demanded, looking at the cover.  Her eyes went wide and she suddenly sat down, fortunately he had moved a chair behind her. "Who did this?"

"I don't know, dear, I believe that's for us to find out," he said patiently.  "Not to mention the impact this could have on this school and the wizarding world in general.  Who would have such bad taste?"

"How do you know it's one of mine?"

"Only one of yours would have gotten that close to Harry and know what your bedrooms look like, my dear.  It had to be one of yours.  You're also one of the best described people in the book so far and only one of yours would have taken the time to do so."

"Do you think this is retaliation?" she demanded.

"I don't know," he offered.  "We should finish reading it.  The Ministry will want a report you know."

She pursed her lips together and nodded.  Then she noticed the second book.  "Two?"  He nodded, handing that one over.  "You want me to read them both?"

"I think it'd be better.  Severus said Gregory sent them to him after he found them.  I'm sure he's already sent one to Alex as well.  Harry would come to you first most likely."  She nodded, getting up and storming off, taking his tea tray with her.  He smiled at her back, getting up to head to his bed.  Another bullet dodged and it would give her some credit with the Ministry for where she had to take over some day soon.

An Unpleasant Surprise

Harry looked up as an owl flew down to land beside him, looking at it.  "What?" he asked the small creature.  "I'm being good."  He took the envelope and let it have a few pieces of his breakfast, but it didn't want the scrambled eggs.  "Sorry.  Go beg Ron."  It hooted and went over there to bug him for some treats.  Harry opened the envelope and groaned.  "Now that you know about these books," he read, "we would like to talk to you about their truthfulness, their impact on your life, and how you're managing in your new career.  Thank you for your indulgence, Hazel Whittington, Editor-at-Large, Witch World Weekly," he finished bitterly.   "Hold on, books?"

"Greg said there was a second book but he hadn't gotten his copy yet, it may be back in the Swamp waiting on us," Alex said quietly.  "Greg found them in a bookstore where he was."

"Then they're American?" he asked hopefully.  Xander shook his head.  "Shit."

"Basically," Bill agreed dryly.  "How close are they?"  Harry gave him a dirty look.  "Never mind, I won't ask again," he soothed, giving him a small pat to the back.  He'd hug the boy but he might bite him for it.  "What're you gonna do, Harry?"

"I'm going to kill the person who did this to me!" he shouted, getting up to walk off.

"Harry, you need to go talk to your coach anyway," Ron called after him.  "Head back for the day, pick up that book, and talk to him."

"Yeah, I do," he admitted, running a hand through his hair.  "Alex?  Bill?"  They both made 'go away' motions and he nodded, going to grab his wand and leave.  He had mastered the camp moving spell and it was faster and safer than apparating.  He landed in the backyard of the house and stomped inside, heading down to the basement passage to their work area, the swamp.  He did find the second book and a note for Alex, which he read.  "Yeah, it was real," he said bitterly, heading back up the stairs.  He saw the aunts looking at him.  "Someone wrote a stupid bloody book about my bloody fucking life and I'm a tad bit upset," he sneered, heading to call his coach.  He didn't get an answer so he flooed to the pitch, stomping past the guard.  "Where is he?" he called back.

"Field, trying out for a new chaser," he called back.  "Ooh, the second book's out."  Harry shot a glare at him and he wilted, shivering a bit.  "Didn't know, Mr. Potter?"

"Hell no and I'm going to kill someone!" he shouted back.

"Harry, no shouting!" the defense coach yelled back.  "You know better!  You scare people!"

"Do I give a flying fuck at the moment?" he demanded, stopping in front of him, holding up the damn book.  "Someone wrote a stupid book about my life, outting not only my past but the wizarding world.  Does no one seem to care enough about this to tell me when the *first* book came out!" he finished at a yell.

"They did?" he asked, taking the book.  "This says book two.  It's not a hoax?"  He snatched Harry's wand before it could be used on him.  "None of that now, Harry.  Calm down.  Let us handle this."

"A reporter's already written to ask me how I feel now that I know the books are there."

"Calm down," the head coach said calmly and quietly.  "You don't think when you're that upset."

"Bugger calming down!" he shouted.  "Someone wrote a very graphic book about my upbringing and how my aunt and uncle mistreated me!"

"Oh."  He grimaced.  "Do you have the first book?"

"No, I left it back at the camp," he spat.  "The second one was waiting on me at the house from the same person who found out about them.  I'm going to kill someone!  I'm going to rip them limb from bloody limb and then piss on their remains!  Then I'm going to find everyone who's read it and do the same!"

"Calm down," the head coach said, taking him by the arm and walking him off.  "We can handle this, Harry.  It can't be that bad."

"It can so!  They wrote about how the stupid muggles abused me!"

"I've seen worse," he promised.  "Other players had it done to them too, Harry.  You're just a more exciting read because of all the stuff with the Dark Lord.  Now, tell me how real it is so we can have our PR people handle this for you."

"I don't want them to handle it, I want them to stop it!"

"I know.  I want them to stop too, just so you don't accidentally kill everyone on this pitch," he pointed out gently.  Harry glared at him.  "I said accidentally."

"I don't care," he growled.

"I know.  I'm sorry, Harry.  I just need you to calm down.  Tell me about it, let me handle it through our people.  That's why we have people.   Kent is very good.  He'll help us handle it for you."

"I just want it to go away!" he moaned.

"I know.  Maybe your uncle can obliviate the knowledge from you for a bit."  He walked him up to the office so he could call Kent, who already knew and had the books on his shelf.  "Why do you have them?"

"The reporters have basically said that they're going to ignore it until someone told Mr. Potter.  They said he wouldn't give interviews anyway and speculating wildly would get them in a lawsuit.  They didn't want that to happen either."  He looked at Harry.  "Are you okay?"  He shook his head.  "Was it real?"  He nodded. "Did you read it all the way through, Harry?  I need things to refute."

"I only got to the sorting and it was real.  Very, very real."

"Fine.  Why don't you finish reading it and then we'll discuss it once you're done with your newest project in the desert."

"We've got another one coming," he admitted.  "The spirits where we are now told us where Maldagesh is."

"Really?" he asked, his whole face lighting up with his smile.  "Excellent news, Harry!  Truly excellent.  Are you going on that one as well?"  He nodded.  "Wonderful job, Harry!  This will definitely make for good press and it will definitely help both your careers."

"We're going after this one and I'll be there until it's time to come back for training," Harry admitted.

"Next year's a world cup year, lad.  You won't have to do much," the coach promised.  "Since you didn't play enough last season, you didn't qualify to try out for the national team.  You will next time, but not this time."  He gave him a smile.  "That means we won't need you to do more than practice in your spare time until next fall."

"Thanks," he offered, grinning at him.  "I can always practice with Draco and Ron."  He looked at their PR wizard again. "I've already been asked by the editor of Witch World Weekly.  Hazel something or other."

"That's fine, I can call her directly, Harry.  I'll tell her someone told you and you haven't had a chance to read them yet, that you're presently on a job or a dig or whatever you call them that doesn't give you enough free time to read at the moment.  Should I let slip about the next one?"

"I'm not sure.  Let me call Alex."  He touched his arm and thought at him, then nodded.  "He said no, the goblins would announce it after we check in the first time from the spot."

"That's fine.  I'll tell her you're hard at work and don't have time to read for fun.  What are you studying?"

"Preservation techniques with Bill Weasley, he's joined us on this one and the next one.  Plus I'm learning a lot about Egyptian and the ancient Arab world's mythology."

"Even better.  That won't give you much time to read books like this."  He gave him a gentle smile.  "Now, go see Ron's mum and dad, warn them.  I don't think anyone has yet. They'll let you throw fits and feed you dinner.   What do you call those jobs?  Digs like in archeology?"

"We usually call them assignments or excavations, but we're not digging much this time.  I don't know what you'd really call it."

"That's fine, I'll call it an assignment.  After all, you're an apprentice, you don't choose," he offered.  Harry relaxed and nodded.  "Let me handle this.  You go visit the Weasleys and give them Ron's love."  He nodded, heading to do that through the other fireplace in the office.  He looked at the coach.  "Have you read them yet?"  He shook his head.  "Harry has every right to want to kill someone.  He also has every right to sue someone.  It's going to get a bit messy.  Want my copies?"  He nodded.  "Then I'll send them over and call the school to make sure someone there knows.  Do we know who told him?"

"One of the other Banes probably.  He said the second book was at the house where someone sent it."

"Ah.  I'll leave that part out.  You have a good night and I'll floo the books over in a few minutes, after I call Hazel."  He signed off.

The coach went to make himself a glass of soda to wait and read with.  He'd probably need something stronger if it was that bad, but he'd start here.

***

Harry came out of the floo and Mr. Weasley cheerfully cast the dusting off spell for him.  "It's not good news," he said bitterly.  "Ron and Bill are fine.  We're working with him on this and the next site."  He looked at both worried parents.  "Did you know someone wrote about my life?  That there's two books about my first two years at school out in the muggle world?"  They both shook their heads and sat down.  "There is.  It's bad.  It's very bad."  He sat down next to Mrs. Weasley and she gave him a cuddle.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome, dear.  I'm sorry someone did this to you."

"Me too, but I'm going to kill them."

"I know, dear," she soothed.  "Let me call the others.  Let's see who else knows."

"I'm going to call Dumbledore first," Mr. Weasley admitted.  "Let's see who knows there."

"Greg sent them to Alex," he offered.

"Then he probably sent one to Severus too," she pointed out gently.  "We'll see who has it."  He nodded, snuggling into her side.  "You poor thing.   What did Alex say, Harry?"

"He took me out to help me blow holes in the sand.  He even saved me from the scorpions I blew up and sent flying."

"I'm glad he did."

Mr. Weasley got up and tossed some floo powder into the fireplace.  "Albus Dumbledore."  His head spun into the fire to fill it.  "Books, Albus?"

"Minerva has them," he said calmly.  He couldn't see Harry, Mr. Weasley was blocking him.  "I thought it might be one of her students, that way she could figure out who and warn them of retaliation from Harry.  Plus she could report to the Ministry and make sure they liked her as a future Headmistress."

"If she finds out who wrote them, I want to know so I can hurt them greatly," Harry said coldly.  "Not have her warn them about me."

"Oh, Harry, I didn't see you there," he said with a small smile.  "How are you doing?"

"I'm in a blind and bloody rage, Albus.  How about you?" he asked bitterly.

"Now, now, my dear boy, there's no need for that."

"I take it you read them?" he demanded.

"Just the first little bit.  That's why I thought it must be a Gryffindor."

"Yeah, well, it's going to be a dead and unlamented Gryffindor when I finish with them," he said coldly.  "You can tell her I said that."

"I shall, Harry.  How is your learning going?"

"Fine.  Why?  Needed something from there?"

"Just wondering if you were learning from all the knowledge you were saving."

"Dumbledore, if he's coming back for a third time, just spit it out," he said coldly.

"No, he's not, Harry, but the Dark never ceases. Someone else will take up his position some day."

"Good, then Ron's grandkids can deal with them in their old age. I've had enough of being the hero."

"I understand."

"I doubt it."

"I did do a bit of that myself," he reminded him.

"Yeah, and the press never hounded every little thing you do and asked what sort of knickers you wear," he said dryly.  "Tell her I want to know."

"Fine.  I shall.  I'll have her forward her report to you as well.  How about that?"

"Fine," he agreed.  Dumbledore smiled at them all before disappearing.  "He knew."

"I think he did," Mrs. Weasley said dryly, looking at her spouse. "Probably the whole time."

"He probably knows who it was.  Only someone with a spell to see the past, or who saw things in a pensieve, which he keeps religiously, would know about some of that stuff," Harry noted. "That means it was someone who was a student when I was there."

"We'll have to see where she starts getting things wrong to see what year she was in," Arthur Weasley noted.  He called the twins, getting their wife.  "Tipsy, darling, did you or the twins know that someone dreadful wrote books about Harry's life?"

"They did?"

"Would that be the book two someone was talking about, dad?" one of the twins called from off to one side.

"I remember one of them asking you to autograph her book," Tipsy admitted.  She looked at Arthur, then at Harry.  "You all right, love?"

"Hell.  No."

"Fine, we'll bring dinner up, Molly.  Be there in about an hour, dear."  She signed off, calling Charley next.  "Charley, did you hear that someone wrote books about Harry's life?"

"No," he said quietly, drawing it out a bit.  "Who?"

"We don't know yet," that same twin offered.  "We're having dinner at home tonight.  Wanna come?"

"Please.  Get something spicy for me.  We've had nothing but salted pork for days."  He signed off, going to talk to his boss to get the night off.

"Do we call Percy?" Tipsy asked.

"Only if you tell Mum first," that twin offered.  "Oi, Fred!" he yelled.  "Found out something about that book!"

"Really?" he asked, coming in from the back yard with Oliver.  "What?"

"It's a book about Harry's life," Tipsy told him.  "He's upset enough to swear in front of your mother and not get his mouth soaped."  That was saying something, Molly had tried to soap hers once.

"Huh.  Oliver, want to join us for dinner?"

"Please.  Does the coach know?"  She shrugged.  "Let me call him to make sure."  He headed for the upstairs apartment to change and call his coach, just in case he didn't know.  They handled things like this for them.

"We're getting dinner," George told him.  "We've got about an hour."

"I'll call up the alley to see who's making what," he promised.

"Charley needed something with flavor and spice.  He's had salted pork a lot recently," she offered.

"Then Chinese it is," he agreed, going to raid their stash of muggle money to head out for that.  While he was waiting, he noticed a small bookstore up the street and went up there to see if he could find copies of these books.  He did and they had both of them so he bought them both and headed back to pick up his order.

***

Percy looked up as Minerva McGonagall walked into his office, standing up immediately.  "Professor," he said with a smile, "how can I help you today?"

"You can find whoever broke into Albus' pensieve and punish them most grandly," she said, handing over the books and a copy of her report.  She had already sent a copy off to Harry before he had even asked.  He stared at the books in horror.  "They were quite correct from what I'm told and what I witnessed."

He took them, shaking his head with a small moan as he looked at the titles.  "I'll bring this to the Minister's attention immediately," he promised. "Where is Mr. Potter?"

"With your parents at the moment.  Having dinner with the twins and Oliver Wood from what I understand."

"Thank you, Professor.  This is a great service to us all.  At the very least you're keeping him from killing someone."

"No, I won't," she assured him. "I'll stand there and cheer with Miss Summer's help."  She nodded at him and gave him a gentle smile.  "Run up there now.  I'm headed out for dinner and will be back in my rooms later if he needs anything."  She left, going to do as she had said.  She needed a drink now, she had no idea things were that bad in the boy's house.

Percy did indeed go running through the halls for the second time in his life.  The Minister for Magic was coming out of his office and stared in horror.  "The Americans again?"

"Worse, the muggles," he said, handing over the books and the report.  "Professor McGonagall was handed the books and wrote that for you.  She's off to grab something then heading home.  Mr. Potter does know and he's with my parents at the moment and most of my family.  She said she'd stand there and cheer as he killed whoever had written them."

"Oh, dear."  He looked at the report, which included a synopsis and the facts as she knew them.  "Oh, dear Merlin," he sighed, heading off.  "Tell your family that I'm handling it and we'll try to track down this author.  We don't want them killed but hopefully we can make them stop."

"Yes, sir."  He went back to his office to call the Burrow.  "Mum, I've handed Professor McGonagall's report to the Minister on her orders, he said he's handling it and they'll try to stop the author from printing anything more.  He has both books and the report, and she said she's sent a copy to Harry."

"Thank you, Percy."  She glanced behind her.  "What do you know of this?"

"This is the first I've heard of it," he admitted quietly.  "Those were muggle books though and I don't really associate."

She nodded. "I understand.  I'll call you tomorrow to talk about them more, maybe he'll have more idea then."  He nodded and signed off.  She went back to the table.  "That report's on it's way, Harry, and the Minister has it in his hand to help you."

"Wonderful," he said bitterly.  "Let's hope he doesn't spread it around more by making some grand speech and making it worse."

"He won't do that," Arthur chided gently.

"Yes he will," Tipsy snorted. "He'll make some grand speech about our way of life being eroded by the muggles and gently slip in how these books had been authenticated by a few sources and how tragic this was to happen.  Then Harry's going to kill the birds carrying his fanmail to him."

"Or worse, Ron'll get more and we'll end up with a new niece or nephew when Dawnie reacts," Charley said dryly, taking another bite of his dinner.  "This is good.  What is this?"

"Muggle Chinese food.  There's a new place just opened up down the street from the Leaky.  Not that expensive and fairly decent," Fred offered.

"I refuse to go in there," George told him. "Too muggle for me and I never remember the name of anything."

"Fortunately I found the books up in that muggle bookstore on the corner," Fred offered.

"I'd rather be poked in the eye repeatedly with a rusty nail than read them," Harry said bitterly, stuffing his mouth full of noodles.  "The food we had in Tibet, in the villages, was kinda like this, only it had goat instead of chicken."

"It's probably what they caught the most recently," Tipsy offered. "I know I've eaten some things I'd rather not think about during some of my travels over the years. Japan was the worst yet, I ate a fish there that nearly killed me."

"Ooh," Harry winced.  "What happened?"

"Puffer fish have toxins," she sighed.  "I didn't understand when the waiter asked me how much of a shock I wanted.  It was more than enough for me."

"Why did you...."

"Go to Japan?" the twins asked.

"To get back the idea someone had stolen and used to hurt others with," she said lightly, smirking at them.  "I made them quite sorry as well."

"Well, I knew you were a scary woman," Harry teased with a small grin.  She beamed and nodded.  At least until one of the younger twins decided to throw his noodle and hit her in the ear.  Everyone laughed while she dug it out and cleaned up the mess her children were making.

***

Professor Snape looked up as someone knocked on his classroom door.  No one had detention tonight, and he knew none of his students would be coming to *him* for help.  "What?" he demanded.

"It's me," Luna Lovegood said, walking in at his snarl.  "Sir, I'm having an ethical crisis.  Is it ethical for me to ask Ethan to help me track down the person who so upset Harry, and therefore Dawn, so he can kill them?"

"Why do you ask me such questions?"

"Because I figure you do know ethics better than I do, have more of firm footing on it really, and would know the various cases where murder was more acceptable than not."

He shook his head.  "There's not any time it's acceptable except in self-defense or in defense of someone who's unable to defend themselves."

"Oh."  She pouted.  "Then I can't let him teach me how to track this person down?"

"No," he said patiently.  "It would be unethical to do so."

"Pity.  Well, I guess we'll just have to go with whatever Wesley finds Dawn on the author.  Though he did say what he already knew was that she was a female muggle nearing middle age with a child."

"I doubt it," he snorted.

"Me as well, sir, but that's what her public profile says so far."  She shrugged.  "I don't know, sir.  Who's handling this investigation here?  I know the person had to have broken some rules while they were attending to get that information.  After all, Dawn talked to Ron and he said even *he* hadn't know some of those specifics."

"Are you thinking someone used Legimens to get into Mr. Potter's mind?" he demanded.

"No, I'm thinking more practically.  The headmaster knew because he's avoiding the subject with Dawn.  He danced very skillfully about what he knew and how he knew it, but did admit that some of those memories were in his pensieve.  I'm thinking someone broke into it, professor."

"Which would have to have been a student at that time," Snape noted.  She nodded.  "Still, we cannot punish them if they've graduated."

"No, but if we can find out who, how, and why, then we can pass it back to the Ministry and cackle in delight as they punish them."

"Good point," he agreed.  "Very well.  Professor McGonagall is the one who did the report for the Ministry.  You may hand it to her and if she wishes my help, I'll gladly do so.  Until then, keep your consorts out of this school."

"I flooed Wesley, Ethan was there cuddling up to him, sir," she said fondly.  "So we got to watch as Ethan had sex with him to think."  She grinned and walked out, heading up the stairs to talk to Professor McGonagall.  Behind her, Professor Snape moaned and shut the door, locking it this time so he could go lay down to get rid of his new headache.   She smiled as she walked into the Transfiguration classroom.  "Ma'am, Wesley is finding out all he can about this author's public persona but he did say it was probably some sort of illusion since she's supposedly nearing middle age with a child."

"He's helping?"

"They both are, professor.  Ethan wanted to teach me how to find the author myself though magical means so we could hand her directly to Harry.  We flooed Wesley tonight and Dawn was a bit upset.  Brought Professor Armwrench strolling in as well. I think he was more worried about her destroying the world though."  She beamed at her.  "I asked Professor Snape if it would be ethical to hunt her down that way so Harry could kill her but he said no.  It wasn't in self-defense so it was wrong."

"I suppose he would have the best handle on that," she admitted dryly.  "Are you suggesting we start an investigation?"

"Well, the person must have been a student and they must have broken into Dumbledore's pensieve.  He admitted to Dawn that he had most of that information in there, especially some of those scenes from Harry's life.  He danced around knowing about the books too much so we figured he must have already read both of them.  Professor Snape suggested I was talking about Legimens but I think that's too rare and any student with that gift would have been caught using it, so I'm going to probably rule that one out.  Though I do believe that it was a student who graduated before Harry did.  After all, the first book's a year old.  They couldn't have written it while they were here, there's too many nosy brats in this school, and a great number of them are either Hufflepuffs, who would have told Harry to get cuddles from him, or Gryffindors, who would have killed the person on the spot for daring to touch another of them."

McGonagall smiled.  "Some of them would have left her alone."

"I doubt it," she snorted.  "Harry was seen as a bit off but anything like this would have upset him and possibly made his magic go off without his help, which would have destroyed a lot of people.  No one wanted that so they would have fixed it for him and torn up her story at that time."

"So, you think it was someone who graduated in Harry's fifth or fourth year?"

"It almost would have had to of been.   Someone closer would still be here, but he had people who talked to him in those years, who might have gossiped a bit and gotten them interested.  Remember, Oliver graduated in Harry's third and he was his captain."  The teacher sighed and nodded.  "He knew more than most people probably gave him credit for.  He might not have gossiped, but he might have told another team member, who would have been mostly in the twin's year. Since they were third years during Harry's first, Ron might have told them a lot more about the general stuff, and they probably would have gossiped a bit with the ladies on the team, probably to help them get along with such a young boy on their team.  Again, more than enough to whet an appetite and induce someone brave, yet stupid, to steal the headmaster's pensive for a bit.   Though, we three girls are in disagreement about whether the author was male or female.  Dawn thinks male because of some of the description but Ginny thinks female because of all the food.  I'm reserving judgement but for some reason I'm tipped more toward female than not."

"I see."  She looked at her.  "What would we do with this information?"

"Turn it over to the ministry so they can finish the investigation and punish them while we cackle madly at the sight of their suffering, plus up the security on the head office."

"Oh, indeed, that will happen," she assured her.  "Thank you, Miss Lovegood.  Ten points to you for your help tonight."  She beamed.  "Send me whatever your Wesley sends you and go to bed."

"Yes, ma'am.  We got to see Ethan having sex while thinking," she said happily, heading out to go to bed alone and be happy with herself, leaving a blushing teacher behind.

"I did not need that mental image," McGonagall said dryly.  She replaced it with the image of Dumbledore frying by Harry's hand for knowing about this and not telling him.

***

"Mr. Sanders," a defense attorney asked blandly, staring at the young DNA tech on the stand.  "Read any good books recently?"

"A few.  Did you want to know about the last textbook or the last fun reading book?"

"Textbook?" he asked dryly.

"Yes, I recently picked up a copy of _Potion Making Through the Ages_ which is a historical account of Wiccan potion brewing.  I'm a chemistry genius and I wanted to see if some of them had any relevance and reality or if they were all folk cures."

"Were some of them?"

"Considering I found the base for aspirin in there, yeah," he said dryly.  "There were quite a few herbal remedies, some of which I don't think would work, but some were fairly interesting to see if they could."

"I see."  He stared at him.  "How about fun reading?  I heard you picked up the latest Harry Potter books?  That you know someone who may be like that boy?"

"Well, I know someone with that name, but I can't be certain he's not the one in the book.  I don't know if he went through everything like that while in school.  He's a friend's apprentice and I only know him that way.  Scientific logic and reasoning would make me keep an open mind until I had all the facts and then make a decision based on them, as was proper in any case or in research."

"Oh.  What field is he in?"

"A subset of archeology.  I'm not that familiar with it and what I do know is fairly boring.  Something about pictograms and tombs and treasures."  He shrugged.  "Not my thing.  I like chemistry.  I basically do what you're doing and sit there and nod when they babble on.  Did you have a question about this case?" he asked. The judge coughed and gave him a look.  "Sorry, sir."

"That's fine, son.  I enjoyed those books myself," he said with a glare to the defense lawyer. "Get on with it."

"Fine.  You examined the samples from my client?"

"No, I ran the samples for your client. It's not like I can put DNA under a microscope and look at it to compare.  A machine does that for me and spits out a concise report in whatever forms I need it to."  The attorney blinked a few times and took a step back.  "What we do is we take a swab with a sample on it, in cases like this, and we treat it with a few things, put it into a small sample bottle, put the bottle into the machine, input which tests to run on it, then take the report after the machine does what it took scientists years to do before on a single strand.  In this case, we used a comparison model to compare his DNA to someone else's sample to see if it matched or not.  Which it didn't at first but the second sample we took from the victim was more clear and it did match that one.  I turn over my results to the CSI in charge of the case and they make conclusions and assumptions based on that fact until they find the proof they need to bring in a witness, who is then questioned and either accused or let go.  It's the same thing we do with physical evidence, like shoe prints and fingerprints. It works in every city around the globe."

The lawyer's eyes were bulging by this time.  "How did you get my client's sample?"

"According to the notes I made, there was a match off the CODIS system, which is the national DNA databank started by the FBI.  It matched to your client the second time.  The first sample was cloudy and no match could be made."

"Cloudy?"

"Sorry, partially degraded and not fully runable.  We tried anyway to see if we could get any legitimate result but it wasn't statistically significant until the second sample."

"Let's talk about your private research," the lawyer said.

"I don't talk about my private research.  Since the first time I announced what I was working on someone has kidnaped my wife, broken into my lab, and broken into my home.  I don't talk about anything I'm working on privately because I don't want more such incidents to occur."

"Your honor," the lawyer sighed.

The judge looked at him.  "What sort of research, generally, are you working on?"

"Pain killers, non-addictive, natural, pain killers."

"I see.  That's not relevant, is it?"  Greg shook his head.  "Do you have any other *relevant* questions for this witness, counselor?"

"No, your honor," he ground out.  "I'm through with him."

"Me as well," the prosecutor offered, smiling at him.

"You may go, Mr. Sanders," the judge said patiently.

Greg smiled and stepped down, heading out of the courtroom, where Warrick grabbed his arm.  "I'm fine."

"I know you're fine," he said, looking at him.  "Was it okay?"

"He asked a few odd questions and I answered to the best of my abilities," he said with a small grin.  He looked over as Penn came out, shrugging.  "Didn't I?"

"You did," he agreed.  "Inference..."

"Is the truth.  All that happened since I said anything about my research."

"Point," Penn agreed.

"He asked about your research?"

"He also heard from someone that I know someone named Harry Potter and wanted to know if I thought he was the same one in the book.  I pointed out that I hadn't talked to Harry about anything like in the book and didn't know if all those experiences had been his so therefore I couldn't make a logical or scientific note of whether or not he was until I did so," he said with a small grin.  "Come on, man, you can buy me some coffee."

"You need to give up that habit, before you pass it on to your kids," Penn complained, walking him off.  "That was good," he praised once they were in his limo.

"Thanks.  I thought so.  I'm wondering who told him I knew Harry."

"Me too."  He grimaced.  "You've got a lot of political people around you."

"Who I'll kill if they did that," Greg said dryly.  "No one on my shift would, except maybe Hodges.  Ecklie would.  I called him a dictator the other day.  Maybe one of the dayshift guys, or he had me staked out."

"Maybe," Penn agreed, handing him a cup of coffee from his onboard coffeemaker.  "Here, the good stuff."

"Bless you.  I had to make due with Starbucks on the way in."  He sipped carefully, smiling at the pleasant taste.  "Oooh, that's good," he said, relaxing a bit.  "So, why did you show up?  To nibble on me about the temporal spell?"

"Kinda, yeah.  How're you going to explain doing that in that amount of time?"

"Lots and lots of coffee," he said dryly.  "No interruptions, and it wasn't that much more.  Everything had a good date on it for when it was run and I was in there longer than anyone thinks since I caught a nap or three."  He finished off that cup and got some more, grinning at his old friend.  "Did Sascha come out?"

"She did, and I like her.  Why was she out here?"

"I'm going out into the field."

"Ahhh, so you need someone to take over?"  Greg nodded.  "Are you looking at normal people?"

"I am.  That's not a deciding factor for me.  I won't claim it may not be a tie breaker, but it's not the deciding factor.  I want someone who's going to be just as good, if not better, than I am in the lab.  They've got to live up to my standards, my goals, and my abilities.  No one lesser is allowed."  He blew across his coffee.  "We're going to have nights where there's going to be three and four hundred samples coming in.  They've got to be able to handle the stress and the pressure and not lose it and not mess....  The dayshift guy that just got fired," he said dryly.  "It was him.  He saw the book when he came in and the spell was down.  He's heard me muttering about Alex and them in the past.  He wants to hurt me and my reputation because I fixed his mistakes and found his mistakes.  I'd say it was him or Ecklie got someone."

Penn nodded.  "I think you're right, Greg.  Are you in tonight?"  He shook his head.  "Good, then let's head to your house so I can pick up Teller, who's mooching up to your daughter.  Then we'll go to work and you can go play with the kids."

"He's a great babysitter. I had no idea this was going to go on tonight.  They were saying I'd be called tomorrow."

"That's all right," he promised.  "We didn't miss a show."  They pulled into Greg's driveway a few minutes later and he got out after cleaning his coffeecup and let Teller in.  "Have a nice night, Greg."

"You two too.  Have a good set of shows."  He headed inside, smiling at his daughter sitting on top of the twins.  "Hey, you're too big for that," he teased, tickling her once she had gotten off them to hug him.  "Were you protecting them?"

"Uncle Teller said to," she defended, beaming up at him.  "You done?"  He nodded, smiling at her.  "Good, you read to us!"

"Sure, Cassandra.  Let me check the machine first.  Did anyone call?"

"Uncle Ray.  Uncle Blair there."

"Thank you, princess."  He walked over to listen to the message, then smiled.  "Good, he'll have him in better shape soon."  He grabbed a few books and sat down in front of his twins to catch them if they moved and to read to her.  She loved being read to.  She was going to be really smart when she grew up, just like her mommy.

***

Ray Kowalski looked at the guy on his couch.  "Where were you?" he asked quietly.  "Greg said no one could find you."

"Salem, subbing," he moaned, flipping onto his back.  "Can't this wait?"

"I didn't want to wake you," he offered.  Blair gave him a long stare.  "I'm being a nice guy, give me some nice guy credit," he teased.

"You are a nice guy.  Wish Jim had been like you," he muttered as he drifted off again.

"Someone's got to come look at you, man, you're not a normal Sandburg," Kowalski said, sitting down to stare at him.  If he knew anyone but Greg out of that group, he'd call them.  Or maybe Greg would be calling back tomorrow. He did work nights.  He'd just make do until then because Blair was not normal.  He was quiet, he was unmoving, and he was mumbling. Not a Sandburg thing to do by any means.

***

Greg looked over as his wife walked up to where he was leaning against the side of the police station, giving her a lazy smile.  "Bored, babe?"

"No, but we've got a sitter," she said smugly.  "Luna's having a fit with some homework and accidentally sent herself over here.  Severus said to keep her for a few hours so they could send away the things she had called in her place accidentally.  Apparently Professor Armwrench was rolling around on the floor about it for nearly an hour and no help at all," she finished with a slight grin, stealing a kiss and leaning against his chest.  "How's Blair?"

"Still not Sandburg-like.  We've got to get his notes.  If I'm right, he's on a long slide downward and about halfway to the end," he said grimly, cuddling her.  "That means I've got to call Jim."

"Want me to go check on him?"

"Would you?" he pleaded, grinning at her. "You're so much better with people than I am.  I'll even get his notes for you so you can read them to him if it helps?"  She smiled and gave him a gentle squeeze.  "Thanks, babe."  He gave her another kiss.  "I've soon got to go back to the lab of doom.  We've narrowed down the intern list for swingshift to three people and Ecklie told Grissom to hire someone, he didn't care if it was Satan.  So I made a joke about Ethan," he admitted with a smirk.  She chuckled and pinched his back, making him smirk harder.  "Not my fault."

"I know, but you know better."  She gave him another kiss.  "Let me get to Chicago to check on Sandburg.  You be a good boy and I told Luna how to call on the phone when she got ready to leave so you could get the kids."  He nodded, stealing a deep kiss.  They pulled apart and found Hodges and Nick standing there smirking at them.  "I'm married to him, I can get him sweaty and make him have dirty thoughts if I want," she said smugly, heading off.

Greg winked at Nick.  "She's off to deal with the quiet, non-bouncing Sandburg and see what's wrong with him."

"Got my samples done yet?" he asked hopefully.

"Nearly an hour ago, when I paged you," he said tolerantly, walking them inside. "Hodges, yours ran too."  He handed him that paper and handed Nick his.  "Not a match."

"Crap."  He started to scratch a spot on his neck, groaning a bit.

"Hey!  Quit that!  Let me look at it for you," Greg ordered, moving the hand before he could start flaking off skin, or worse, puss in his lab.  "It's a sore, Nick. You can't scratch that.  Let me get some alcohol for you."

"I'm fine."

"Sit down and shut up, Nick," he ordered.  "It's me or Cath."  Nick sat down, she fussed worse.  Greg knew he was going into parent overdrive, but that was fine with him.  He was a daddy, it was normal for him to bandage scrapes and cuts.  He came back with an alcohol pad and dabbed at the edges, then tested it.  "No infection," he offered.  "This looks familiar...."  He realized where he'd seen a sore like that before, because it wasn't looking like a normal sore to him.  He stood Nick up and dragged him off by the arm, all the way to the coroner's lab.  "Doc, do you have about thirty seconds to look at a sore on Nick's neck?" he asked from the doorway.

"Sure, Greg."

"It's nothing," Nick offered.

"Shut up, Nick," the doctor said firmly.  "If Greg thinks it is, he's probably right."  He came over to look at the small sore right under Nick's ear.  "That's not a sore, that looks suspiciously like skin cancer."

"That's what I thought.  We had a coworker when I was interning who found a few of those," Greg admitted.

"Skin cancer," Nick said blankly, just staring straight ahead.  "Cancer?"

"It's probably fine, Nick, but I'll call a group I know, a dermatologist, who can get you in pretty quickly.  For right now, I want you to go home, just in case they want to do the biopsy tomorrow.  Usual stuff, no heavy alcohol, no really hard food since it might take a bit of anaesthesia for the surgery.  Greg, drag him down to Grissom and make him look at it, tell Grissom that I'm sending Nick home until someone more competent in that field looks at that sore.   If he doesn't want to listen, make him."

"It's probably nothing," Nick complained.

"Hush, Nick.  It's not nothing.  It's an open spot on your skin that looks like a lesion.  Until you get that looked at, I don't want you around the various nasties that you can pick up in the labs and in here.  Now, Greg."

"Thanks, Doc."  He tugged on Nick's arm and Nick ran into a tray of waiting implements.  "I'll come back and pick that up."

"It's my fault," Nick offered, getting free to do that.  They both cleaned them up and Greg found a piece had went under something else so he floated them out using his wand.  And got a finger as well.

"I was looking for that," the doctor said, grabbing it.  "Very helpful, thank you, Greg.  Drag him off now."

Greg grabbed Nick by the arm and drug him off again, going to stop Grissom by standing in front of him.  "Grissom!" he shouted.

"Not now, Greg."

"Yes, now," he said, getting into his path so the man had to stop.  "The doc is sending Nick home.  I was looking at a sore on his neck so I could alcohol it because he was scratching only it's not a sore it's some sort of lesion and the doc agreed that it looked like skin cancer so Nick's being sent home until someone like a professional can look it over," he babbled.  "He said so."

"I'm fine," Nick complained.

"Excuse me, skin cancer?" Grissom asked.  "Where?"  Nick and Greg both pointed at the spot.  He looked at it.  "That does look like a skin cancer lesion I saw on a patient recently.  If Doc Robins saw it and said you should go home until he can get you in somewhere, go home until he can get you in somewhere.  Follow whatever orders he gave you, Nick.  I don't want to see you in his office for any non-work reason."

"I'm sure it's nothing.  It's gotta be nothing," he complained loudly, well whined really.

"If found and treated at this stage, skin cancer is ninety-percent survivable," Greg said firmly.  "They may not need to do anything like radiation treatments.  They've got a lot of options when it's that small.  So you'll do as ordered."

"Did you need a ride, Nick?" Grissom asked.  "I don't want you to drive if you might go into shock and have a wreck."

"I'm fine!" he complained loudly, bringing Warrick and Catherine.  "I'm fine, tell them I'm fine."

"You were earlier, why aren't you now?" Warrick asked.

"He was scratching a spot on his neck that looked funny to me so I brought him down to the doc and he said it looked like skin cancer too," Greg told him.  "He's being sent home until someone can do a biopsy."

"Oh, man," he hissed, patting Nick on the shoulder.  "It'll be okay.  This stuff is pretty easily dealt with early on."

Catherine looked at the sore.  "Yeah, that does look like most of the skin cancer I've seen on sun bunnies.  It'll be okay.  Usually they can remove the spot, watch you real closely from then on.  Maybe some minor treatment if they find more spots advancing.  I hear they can laser them off now."

"I'll find you some really good sunscreen," Greg promised.

"I'm in the middle of a case," Nick complained.

"I'm on two," Warrick offered.

"I'm on one but it's a homicide," Catherine told Grissom.

"I'll take over your case, Nick. Don't worry about.  Worry about yourself.  We don't want you to die from this and I want you to get better.  So I'm going to agree with the Doc Robins.  Until you bring me a note from whoever he sends you to, you can't come back."  Nick's whole body slumped.  "I know that's rough, but he'll try to get someone to see you within the next few days."

"Maybe I should go to the ER?" he suggested.

"It's Friday night right after the first of the month," Catherine told him.  "It's packed with accidents and bar brawls.  Besides, they'd probably tell you the same thing."  She looked over as the doc came down the halls.  "Did we bother you?"

"No, actually, I called the group I know of and talked to the on-call for the evening.  He said to call the office tomorrow during normal hours and he'd gladly work him in during a lunch if possible."  He handed the card to Nick.  "Call them first thing in the morning.  They get in at nine, so they'll be up and there by ten after."  Nick nodded, tucking that into his front pocket.  "Don't forget, Nick."

"I won't.  Grissom said I needed a slip to come back," he complained.

"Nick, I've seen people die of this if not treated," the doctor said firmly.  "Do you really want to end up on my table?"  He shuddered and shook his head. "Then this time follow orders and don't whine.  It's for your own good.  Now, shoo.  You've dealt with decomposed bodies and I don't want to think what could have transferred into that lesion."  He nodded and trudged off.

"I can drive you home if you need me to," Warrick called after him.

"No, I'm good.  I'll stop and get a beer, then head home," Nick called back.  "Thanks, Greg."

"Better you healthy than dead," he offered.  "I'll get that sunscreen I know about for you."  He looked at Catherine.  "Is that shop on South Eastern still open?"

"Yeah, it is.  Lindsey gets hers from there.  I just sent her some recently."  She stared at Nick's back.  "I hope he's all right."

"The doctors there are some of the best in this city of the overly-large sunball," the coroner offered.  "They can even do the biopsy in-office so he won't have to wait too long."

"Good," Greg agreed.  "I've got to start wearing some too."  He shook his head. "I used to and then I quit when the kids came.  Too much trouble."

"Yeah, but you oil those kids down enough that they're slippery every morning," Warrick teased.  "Just take some of their extra to do your own skin."

"Mine's in my foundation and my moisturizer," Catherine admitted.  "That way I don't have to put on something else in the morning."  She looked at Grissom.  "Who's covering for Nick?"

"I will or Sara can."

"Sara's got the night off."

"Like she minds coming in," Greg snorted. Grissom gave him a look.  "She never does."

"Point," he agreed.  "Did I hear Emilia earlier?"

"She went to check on the mumbling, non-bouncing, non-rambling, sleeping Sandburg on Kowalksi's couch. That reminds me, I've got to call Jim to get his notes."  He headed for his lab, going to do that.  He closed the door and dialed, putting it on speaker.  "Jim?" he asked at the irritated grunt.

"Do you know what time it is, Sanders?" Jim Ellison, Sentinel to Blair's former Guide, asked, sounding a bit upset.

"Sorry, man, for me it's the middle of the morning.  We just found Blair."

"How is he?"

"Non-bouncing.  I need his notes."

"I have them in storage but ...."

"I don't want everything, you can keep the personal stuff, but I need his notes.  If I'm right it's going to take a heroic effort to save him now."

"What?" he asked flatly.  "What's wrong with him?"

Greg put it as delicately as he could.  "Jim, what would have happened if you two were in the jungle and you had sent Blair away?"

"I didn't...."

"You did.  You repudiated him.  I'm sure there's some nicer ceremony in the jungle since you'd be the one more likely to live on, but yeah, you did.  No one blames you for it," he assured him, "but now we've got to stabilize Sandburg and we'll need his notes to do that."  Someone tapped on the door.  "Five minutes!"  He looked at the phone again.  "So I need them tomorrow, all of them.  Send them Fed Ex or however."

"Have you seen Darryl yet?"

"No, not yet.  Why?"

"He left home after yelling at his father about how he treated Blair."

"Good for the kid," Greg agreed.  "We *all* agree on that.  So, notes, books, that stuff tomorrow.  You can keep everything else. Right now he's in Chicago and I'll be figuring out how to get him back here with Emilia."

Jim went silent for a moment.  "There was something said about some legends, where Guides had wandered off after being sent away and coming back with a new sentinel.  They were considered spirits, solid ones, but still no longer human.  The rest of the legends Blair found said that they basically went off into the jungle and never came back."

"That's the hazards of the jungle, this isn't and we can probably help him somehow. For right now, I'll be on the lookout for Darryl and you send me those notes for Emilia.  She's great at research."

"Sure, Greg.  Thanks.  Let me know?"

"Yeah, we'll keep you informed. You kick Simon around for us though, okay?" he asked with a small smirk.  "We really wanna do that ourselves."

"Sure.  I have in the past.  Thanks, Greg.  Night."

"Night."  He hung up and opened the door, looking at Catherine.  "We found Sandburg.  He's on Kowalski's couch.  He's not bouncing, he's mumbling, he's not reading.  I sent Emilia to look him over and Jim's sending us his notes."

"That's fine.  I've got a sample."  She held up the swab.

"Ooooh, my favorite present," he joked, going to run it for her. Thankfully it was a slow night for samples. "Can you call the house?  See if Luna's still okay?"

"Sure."  She dialed the house, but got a busy signal.  "I think someone knocked the phone off the hook."  Greg stepped away from the equipment and concentrated, putting the phone at home back on the hook with a touch of magic.  Then he shrugged and went back to doing her sample for her.  She tried again, getting a startled Luna.  "That beeping sound is a busy signal, it means try again," she said in greeting.  "Greg wanted me to check on you.  Yes, it's Catherine.  No, the children aren't demonic."

"And they shall stay that way or Luna will find herself in a very bad way," Greg said dryly.

"Greg said they'd still better be non-demonic."  She listened.  "No, that's a normal toddler, Luna.  Be thankful he's wearing clothes."  She laughed.  "One of the twins learned how to get his diaper off.  He's trying to crawl around naked and she can't figure out how to put one on."

"Tape goes in the back," he said dryly.  "I'll be home on lunch break.  Tell her it'll prepare her for having some of her own."

Catherine snickered. "Greg said to think of this as preparation for your own eventual kids, Luna.  No, the brown stuff that says peanut butter goes on bread with the stuff in the fridge that says jelly.  Then make a sandwich and cut it into squares and put 'San in her high chair.  She'll only eat in it.  Put the twins in those carrier things so they can have a bottle.  Yeah, I know, it's hard.  I raised Lindsey all by myself, and I was working."  Luna sniffled something.  "It's not that hard.  Kids younger than you do it every year, Luna.  Sure.  Of course.  I'll come back with Greg for lunch if I can.  I'm sure it'll be fine.  Remember, the tape starts in the back and goes to the front, okay?  Yeah, like that.  Good girl!" she praised.  "Sure.  You sit down and read something to them."

"They all like potions and transfigurations," Greg offered, pulling out the results and smiling at them before handing them to her.

"Thank you, Greg.  I've got to go, Luna.  Don't worry about it, they're not demonic, they won't kill you, they'll just get on your nerves. Think about the stories you can tell back at the school.  Sure, I'm sure he could do that.  See you soon."  She hung up and shook her head.  "She wanted to make sure there was a potion to make her infertile permanently."

"Yeah, there is, but she'd have to take it every ten years or so," he admitted with a small shrug.  "If she asks Sev, I'm sure he'd have some made within days for her."

"Lindsey said there's a teen mother in her school," Catherine offered.

"We have a few but ours aren't allowed to bring their kids with them unless no one else can watch them," he told her.  "It's thought to be too dangerous."

"I can see why.  Thanks, Greg."  She smiled and walked out, going to share the gossip that had calm and nerdy Luna Lovegood pulling out her hair because of Greg's kids.  "Hey, Warrick, guess who's babysitting back at Greg's?" she asked as she walked into the garage.

"Who?"

"Remember Luna?"

"Lovegood?"  He looked confused.  "Why is she here?"

"She apparently sent herself here by accident, or so she babbled.  She claims Greg's kids are more demonic than her Ethan."  He laughed.  "Apparently one of the boys figured out that no diapers are fun and was crawling around that way.  It upset her greatly."  He snickered, shaking his head.  "So I said I'd go home with Greg for lunch to save her.  Should we bring you back anything?"

"No, I'm good," he admitted.  He grinned up at her.  "Did she figure out diapers?"

"I told her how to put a new one on."

"I'm sure she'll have as much fun as I did my first time babysitting."

"Actually, she asked if there was a potion to make her permanently infertile."

Warrick smirked.  "Is there?"

"Yes, but it needs to be renewed every ten years."

"I'm sure she'll have some within days of getting back then," he said smugly.   She nodded and handed over the results, getting another smirk.  "I believe we have our suspect."

"I think we do."  He got up and they went to talk to the detective in charge of the case.  He'd like this quite a lot.

***

Nick sat on the table in his paper gown, looking at the nurse.  "I swear, I thought it was a bug bite or a scratch or something.  Our DNA tech and our coroner both saw it and nearly yelled at me for it."

"No, it's not a sore," she offered gently.  "It is a lesion but it's fairly early on in the phase it's in.  This is a good time to find it and get it removed.  You're not far enough along for chemo or rad if it is cancerous.  And you're not too soon just to watch things.  Though we are going to have to check your body for other spots.  Now, will we have to check under your boxers?"

He shook his head quickly.  "My swimming trunks are about the same size as these, that's why I wore them.  I've never been a speedo guy or a skinnydipper, except a few times at night," he admitted sheepishly.  "Wild youth and all."

"That's not a problem," she assured him with a smile.  "I'm not much of one myself.  So let's start with your arms, chest, and back.  Remove the gown to your waist?"  He nodded, doing so and bracing his arms on the table so she could look at them without his body interfering.  She had to pull out her marker a few times.  "You've got some smallish brown spots in unusual areas that are at the stage we'd keep a watch on," she offered as she marked the first one.  "This will wash off within a few days.  It's not permanent."  He let out a nervous chuckle.  "I did this earlier on a fifty-year-old woman, Mr. Stokes.  The fact that you're not is worrisome, but you did state you are very athletic and like to do things that would draw sun to you.  So we'll teach you how to protect your skin as well."  He nodded at that.  She moved on to look at his other side, finishing on his chest since he looked like someone who'd blush.  She was right, he was.  "No steady girlfriend?"

"No, not in a while," he admitted dryly.  "No time.  I work really crazy hours with a lot of overtime."

"Pity.  You seem like the sort of guy girls would go for by the boatload."  She finished marking a new spot on his stomach.  "Okay, let's do your legs."  She looked at the newly shaven spots.  "You didn't have to do that," she teased.  "But it's helpful," she finished at his blush. "Saves us some work."  She worked from his right thigh down and then his left foot up, finding another spot, which she marked in a different color.  "I think that one may be farther along so I'm marking it in a different color," she noted.  She found one more spot just above his knee and marked that.  "There we go, all done.  Unless you think I should look under your boxers?"  He blushed bright red at that.  "Just move the legs up a bit, Mr. Stokes.  I promise to be proper and I can get a male in here if you'd like."

"No, I trust you," he offered, moving his boxers up against his hips.  She did find another spot and he moaned.  "That makes twenty."

"That makes twenty-two with the one on your ankle and on your neck," she corrected. "Not the worst I've seen," she promised, putting away her pens.  "I've seen people coming in with those lesions all over their body saying that they're just having an allergic reaction and it won't go away."  He shuddered at that.  "You should be fine," she promised.  "There's treatments to kill the cells at the funny mole/dark spot stage.  Our doctors are saying that lasering them does kill them."  He perked up at that.  "Plus, since it's non- cosmetic, your health insurance will cover it."  He shook his head.  "By Nevada law, they have to cover cancer treatment.  Anything non-controversial or in testing, but they do have to cover it."

He nodded.  "I'll have to make sure of that."

She smiled.  "We can file those forms for you, Mr. Stokes.  We're good at that."  He smiled and nodded.  "Let me get the doctor. You can cover up if you're cold or embarrassed."  She finished writing notes on the chart and walked out, going to find the doctor and tell him about the second spot and all the marks she had made.

The doctor, an older African-American man, walked in smiling.  "Mr. Stoker, I'm Doctor Altshire.  How are you today?"

"I feel like a jigsaw puzzle with as many marks as she made."  He gave him a long look.  "My insurance really will cover this?"

He nodded.  "By law they have to cover treatments for cancer, even pre-cancer like the new purple marks you have.  Let me see where they're concentrated please."  Nick took off his gown and let the doctor look.  "You play a lot of shirtless sports?"

"Yeah, and I used to play football," he admitted.  "I should kill my coach for having us shirtless outside in summer in Texas."

"He probably didn't know any better, Mr. Stokes.  Some coaches don't."  He patted him on the arm.  "All right.  What we're going to do today is get our practice's plastic surgeon in.  He's going to do the biopsies here and send the samples off to Desert Palms.  He's going to excise some skin from a few of those other marks too, just to have them checked, then we're going to talk about how you remove them and how to care for your skin.  We'll call you with the results and at that time make your follow-up appointment.  If the lesions aren't cancerous, we'll let you know then and you'll be back in about six months so we can look at those spots.  If they are, you'll be back here to have them removed.  Our group has had tremendous success using a CO2 laser to get rid of marks like those and kill the pre- cancerous cells."

"Like they use when they laser off wrinkles?" he asked.

"Exactly," he agreed, smiling at him.  "You'll be sore, it'll be like first degree burns for a few days, but you shouldn't have to worry about sick leave.  We can do maybe three or four sessions, you'll take that day and the next three days off."

"I work in a crime lab.  I do a lot with bodies and samples and sometimes decomposing bodies."

"Ah."  He nodded. "Then we might have to talk to your boss about the risk of infection.  You might get to take a few weeks off in a row in that case.  Do you have his number?"

Nick got up and went to his pants, pulling out his cellphone and finding the number.  "Here, my direct supervisor, Grissom.  Um, Gil Grissom.  The director of the CSI unit is a putz and he'll try to fire me."

"Then you can sue the city," the doctor assured him.  "They can't do that to you."  He wrote down the number and smiled.  "I see he's an alternate contact number?"

"Yeah, our boss is a lot like a father or a teacher.  He's always around somehow."  He slid back onto the table with a yawn.  "Sorry, didn't get much of a nap."

"It's all right. I understand."  He patted him on the knee.  "For right now, I'm going to take pictures of all your marks, our plastic surgeon is a bit backed up.  She had a showgirl in with a ruptured breast," he admitted quietly.  Nick nodded quickly at that.  "So, let me get the camera, and I'll bring in the pamphlets you'll need to start the education portion of your visit today."  He got up and went to do that, bringing back the camera to film Nick's body and to take stills of it for his file.  Why hadn't someone seen these before?  "Have you been to the emergency room in the last six months, Mr. Stokes?"

"No, sir.  Well, I did, but it was a head injury.  They didn't do more than look in my eyes."

"Ah.  No wonder no one saw those."

"Actually, one of my former girlfriends asked me about a mole on my shoulder," he admitted with a small sigh.  "That was about a year ago.  I should have had it checked then but I thought it was just a freckle or something."

"Many people do.  Now you know better," he reminded him.  "You can help others.  The nurse said your DNA tech and your coroner both looked at the lesion?"

"Yeah, Greg caught me scratching it. I thought it was a bug bite or I had opened a spot while scratching.  He made me sit down so he could clean it, that way he didn't have to disinfect the lab or anything I guess."  He shrugged a bit.  "He stopped while alcoholing it and drug me down to the coroner's office.  Doc Robins said it was skin cancer, not a spot.  Greg said he saw some on someone he had interned with."  He shrugged again.

"Hold still."  He took that picture again, shaking his head.  "At least they got you in here immediately."

"I almost went to the ER last night but the one I cruised by had a pile of bodies in the waiting room."

"Last night was a night for it," he agreed.  "First of the month so you've got all those who just got paid and just got their social security checks, so everyone was out last night.  I imagine my brethren were very busy last night."  He took few more stills of Nick's back, then filmed it, moving onto his right arm.

"Is this...fatal?"

"Only if it's not treated," he assured him gently.  "You got here in more than enough time.  You're going to be one to watch but nothing else."  Nick nodded, relaxing again.  Someone knocked on the door.  "Occupied."

A dark-haired woman walked in and shut the door behind her, smiling at Nick.  "That's what I was counting on.  I heard I have lesions to take off this specimen of a man?"

Nick grinned.  "Hi."

"Hi, Mr. Stokes.  I'm Cathy Le.  I'm going to be your surgeon.  I'll try to make any scars as small as possible."  He nodded, still smiling.  She looked at the other doctor.  "How many?"

"Two.  One on his neck and one on his ankle.  He's got twenty other marks and I found a small one I'd like to include because it does look like it's starting to form."  She nodded, handing him the special purple pen, which he used to mark another, very faint, spot.  "His shift's DNA tech and coroner both figured out what this was.  Doc Robins called me last night."

"Good!" she agreed firmly.  "The faster you take care of these things the healthier you are," she agreed.  "Now, to the practicalities.  Have you eaten?"

"I had a beer last night, around two, and I tried to eat but I couldn't do more than force a piece of bacon and a bite of eggs, and maybe a glass of juice down."

"How long ago was that?"

"Maybe four hours?" he offered.

"Okay.  I'm going to be using a local anesthetic on you.  Do you have strong reactions?"  He nodded.  "Then we're going to have to wait two more hours to do that and you might need a ride home.  Fortunately there was someone out there to do that for you."  He shook his head slowly.  "Brown hair, t-shirt, looked like a daddy with the spitup stain on his shoulder?"

"Greg?"

"Your DNA tech?" the doctor asked.  Nick nodded. "Apparently he's a very good friend."  He moved on to tape and picture his chest.  "There's another very faint one.  I'm guessing she only used the room lights?"  Nick nodded at that.  "That's fine.  These are very faint, just starting out."

"I used to play football," he said at the other doctor's pitied look.  "In Texas."

"No wonder you have so much damage.  Let's look at these two spots.  Then I'll go prepare the in-house surgical suite to bring you in.  It won't take too long and it shouldn't hurt too much.  I'll also be taking off a few of the darker ones to have them tested as well."

"The nurse said you might."

"Good.  Then she's very efficient for us.  And this guy here told you we'd be calling later today with the results?"

"Yeah, anytime's fine. I work nights."

"I saw in your file," she agreed, smiling at him.  "The damage to the lesser spots will indicate how we'll have to treat the rest of them.  If we can laser them off or will have to use another method.  Do you know much about laser treatments?"

"Only what I've seen on the discovery channel when it's my night off and nothing else is on."

"Okay, that's fine.  It's always better to not have preconceived notions.  The laser is basically going to burn the top few layers of your skin off inch by inch through a few treatments.  I'm guessing about five or six with how many spots you have.  That's as long as these dark spots come up as pre-cancerous.  If they're showing cancer cells then you might have to go in for some mild radiation treatments."

"Which doesn't really make sense since isn't it radiation that did it?"

"Yes, but radiation will kill the cancerous cells.  It's a different form of radiation.  But that's a very good question.  Not one I hear often," she admitted with a small smile for him.  "Since you're not fully at the lesion stage, you shouldn't have to do chemotherapy.  It's much more damaging and harder to make it through.  Have you had your other checkups?"

"We're required to get yearly ones for the job," he admitted.  "I had my first prostate check last year for some reason.  I think maybe my doc enjoyed doing them a bit too much since I'm only thirty-two."

She patted him on the chest.  "He was probably setting up a baseline.  At your age, I'd probably expect one every three years until you're forty, then every year."  He nodded at that.  "Do you use any sort of sunscreen daily?"

"No, ma'am, but I'm guessing that's about to change."  Both doctors nodded and he was handed a pamphlet on what he'd need to get.  "There's more than one brand? I thought there was only Coppertone."

"No, there's many brands.  As long as they fit into the general guidelines there you should be fine.  Now, after your laser treatment, you'll want to be careful.  It can make your skin very sensitive and some people have suddenly discovered that they're allergic to some chemicals," she warned.  "There's a good place on South Eastern that sells some good all- natural sunscreen for you to try.  Plus, if you use it all the time, it's not like you'd have to switch."  He nodded again, looking at the pamphlet.  "What about your work environment?"

"I talked to him about that," the dermatologist offered.  "He deals with dead things and dead bodies."

"Ooooh," she winced.  "So I'm guessing a full leave of absence once we start treatments?"

"Probably would be for the best," he agreed.  "You're thinking five or six?"

"Depending on how deep they are.  I'd schedule eight just in case, but if you only need five then you only have to come in for five," she promised him.  "Again, fully payable by your insurance."  He nodded at that.  "When was your last physical?"

"Um, I'm due my next one in about a week," he admitted.  "Why?"

"Did your doctor not say anything about these spots?"  He shook his head.  "Who is it so we can chew him a new one?" she asked plainly.

"Um, Tibert."

"I know him, he knows better," Dr. Altshire said firmly.  "I will be having a talk with him when we get your files. That way he knows that you had to have these treatments and he'll get copies from us after you're done for your yearly exam."  Nick nodded.  "I'll also be chewing him a new one for you.  Don't worry about that."  He smiled at him.  "Okay, onto your legs now please."  Nick moved his boxers out of the way.  "Not as bad as it could be."

"We had to devise a way to laser off a nudist's melanoma's," Doctor Le told him.  Nick shuddered in horror and covered himself.  "Exactly.  He should have known better."  She smiled at him.  "I'm going to prepare and then I'll give you the pop quiz when you're over there, okay?"  He nodded, and she shook his hand before leaving.

Doctor Altshire waited until they were alone to grin up at him.  "She's single, but picky," he noted.  "Works really long hours too.  Probably about as many as you do."

Nick grinned at that. "She's a stunning woman with a beautiful mind."

"She is.  If I didn't have my wife, I'd take her home tonight to make sure she ate."  He went back to work, carefully examining the mark on his ankle.  "Yes, this one is much more advanced.  It would probably have looked like the one on your neck within a few more weeks."  He took a close-up of that one as well.

***

Nick came out of the back of the office, spotting Greg sitting on the chair reading a journal.  "Chemists have one of those?"

"Of course.  How else do we brag to each other?" he asked dryly, standing up and tucking it under his arm. "I figured you'd need driven home, just in case they had to use anesthesia.  Emilia said she didn't mind and the boys are actually napping for a change.  So let's go.  I'll let you order me to pull through anywhere you like."  He handed over the bag he carried.  "One from me, one from Cassandra and the boys, and one from 'Mil.," he offered with a grin.  "We couldn't decide on how you'd like the delivery."

Nick smiled at the small packages, letting Greg walk him out to his truck.  He got in and unwrapped it.  "They come in spray bottles?"

"Yup, sure do," he agreed happily.  "The kids like those.  It's easy to get them as they're running."

Nick laughed and opened the moisturizer with sunscreen.  "Emilia?"

"Of course.  My darling uses it every day.  She hates the sun here, that's the only bad thing according to her.  I got you the normal method of delivery, figuring that you'd be more used to it at first."  He shrugged and held out a hand.  "Keys?"  He suddenly stopped, shook his head, and shivered.  "Hodges."

"Huh?  What about Hodges?"  He looked at him, seeing the vacant look. "Greg?"  He gave him a nudge.  "Greg?" he asked more loudly.  He came back and shook his head.  "Maybe I should drive."

"No, I'm fine. It was a pre-flash.  I get those sometimes but only about my own family.  So why am I seeing Hodges?"  He shuddered again.  "Eww."  He wiggled his fingers.  "Keys?  I'm good for about another four hours."

Nick shook his head.  "Not a chance.  You might have another one."  He looked behind them.  "You brought Brass and Grissom?"

"No, we flipped a coin and I won, they're cheating," he said dryly.

Nick rolled down his window.  "Grissom, Greg's having something he calls a flash."

"Again?  Another raid?" he asked, pulling open the door and pulling Greg out.  "I'll drive you, Jim can drive Nick and make sure he gets lunch."  He handed over the basket he carried.  "Here, more stuff you'll need.  Soothing stuff for when they do the laser treatments."

"Thanks, Gris.  The docs will probably be calling you about whether or not I'll need to take off work."

"You will, I've already filed your forms with Ecklie, who's upset for some reason."

"Not about you of course," Jim offered dryly, his usual delivery.

"Of course," Nick agreed.  "I need fattening stuff.  Steak Escape?"  He accepted the paper from Grissom. "I don't need that long."

"That'll give you a week beyond the expected end of treatment, Nick, in case something happens," Grissom told him.  "Have your yearly while you're down too."  He walked Greg off, talking quietly with him about what he had seen.  It had to be bad somehow.

"Steak Escape, that's by Circus Circus, right?" Jim asked as he slid into the seat.  He looked at the bench, then shifted forward.

"You can move the seat up if you need to," he offered.

"No, I'm fine.  No uphills so it'll be fine."  He started the truck with the keys from Nick's hand, shutting the door so he could get the poor guy home.

Hodges.

Greg's vision :

Hodges merlin crystal thermal ice shivering hostage arms-wrapped-around-chest hair- hood-that-covers-ears bright-flash, cave, darkness, changing.  Heartbeat sounds, flying, spinning, shooting colors.  Psychic flashes.

Greg had his second flash and Emilia and Grissom were waiting on him to come back out, tape recorder ready for whatever he saw.  He shook his head.  "Why am I seeing him?  Usually it's only my personal safety, or that of the family."

"I don't know, Greg, maybe it'll impact the family," Emilia said gently, stroking his arm.  "What did you see?"

"It was kinda abstract.  I saw Hodges.  I saw someone taking him... to a cave I think.  Somewhere nearby.  They were like us, doing magic on him.  He was supposed to change somehow, not sure about that part or why, but they wanted to make him change.  If he did then they'd have a way to get psychic flashes of their own.  I got a lot of psychedelic looking flashes this time.  Lots of colors, a hood that looked like fur or hair that covered his head.  I saw sparkly wings like on fairies in the stories."  He shuddered.  "That's just too odd."

"When, Greg?" Grissom asked gently.  "How soon?"

"Um, this week sometime, right before the full moon.  They'll have to start the process during the full moon.  Thursday maybe?  That's the first night and they wouldn't be able to keep him for very long in that cave.  For some reason I think they're changing him more than once, like setting a baseline change and then changing him so he can switch back and forth."

"That's fine, Greg.  Did you see who was going to do it?" Emilia asked.   Greg shook his head.  "Did you get a sense of the kidnaper and wizard at all?"

"It's someone I know," he offered.  "Not real well but I've run into them in the past."  He looked at her.  "I think that they're singling him out because there's someone or something magical in his past.  I can't be sure where though."

Emilia gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek.  "Any other details, Greg?"

"No, that's all I'm getting.  Oh, a crystal.  There was some sort of crystal involved."

"That narrows down how they'd do it," she offered.  "Anything else?  Even things that you'd expect?"

"A feeling of heat.  Like the change put off thermal energy, which it'd have to.  Um, I kept hearing a heartbeat sound I think.  Or it was mine maybe?"  He shrugged.  "Why am I seeing him?"

"It's probably going to impact your family if he is stolen," Grissom reminded him.  "How do you think you know this wizard, Greg?  Was it someone you went to school with?  Was it someone you met here?  Is it someone you've dueled with maybe?"

"I knew his magic and what it felt like so I'm guessing I dueled with him, and it was a him," he offered, his face scrunching up as he considered it.  "I don't remember where I know it from.  We've got to warn him though."

"We should," Grissom agreed.  "I don't know how, though.  He doesn't usually get involved in this stuff."

"Oh, he does, he just snorts and walks off, filing it all away for a rainy day of blackmail," Greg said dryly, looking at him.  "Trust me, he does watch it."  He summoned over the phone, pulling out his cell to find the number.  "Hodges, it's Greg.  Need to speak to you today, at my house, before work.  Drop by."  He hung up.  "His machine."  He put the phone aside and looked at his wife.  "I don't duel all that much, I don't know how I'd know the guy's magical signature."

"Either it was the poser who got Penn that time or it's the dragon guy probably," she offered.

He considered it, then nodded slowly.  "Maybe.  Now, how do we ward the uptight and panicking guy?"

"I can easily scent him with veela stink," she offered with a small smirk.  "Mating scent is easy to trace.  He might get hit on a few more times a day, but it should be fine."

"We can put a tracing spell on him too," Greg agreed. "You get to tell Penn."

She snorted.  "Not a chance."

"Oh, come on," he complained.  "I only ever go see him when it's a problem."

Someone came out of the fireplace and dusted himself off.  "You do, that's why we put the spell on the house to summon me whenever there's a problem," Penn said dryly.  "What's going on?"

"One of you is going to kidnap one of my lab techs and turn him into something with sparkly wings," Grissom said plainly.

"Looked like a fairy, slightly pointy beaked nose, pointy chin, sparkly, rounded wings on his back," Greg offered.  "I know the guy's magical signature but not that well and I don't remember where."

Penn looked at him then shook his head.  "Why?"

"I *think* it's because of someone in his family's past," Greg offered.  He checked the phone when he heard noise.  "So that's what you meant about it not hanging up."  He hung up and grinned as he took out the battery.  "He'll be over soon since he's now up."  He looked at Penn again and shrugged.  "I don't know why I saw it."

"Ooooh," he winced.  "Okay, well, if you need help hunting him when he's taken, let me know.  There's been some stronger magic out in the desert recently but we're not sure where.  We think one of the miniature stature potion masters is doing something temporal maybe.  He's taken a spot and hidden it totally from view."

"Can we get a map to that spot?" Emilia offered.  "Sounds perfect to me."

"It might, but we can't tell where.  The first thing the guy did was make it unplottable and screened from view.  You can walk past it and not realize it with how he's got it set up."

"Would a tracing spell on something in there work?" Greg asked.

Penn shook his head. "Probably not, but some tracing spells have went past the unplottable issue.  There's one on Potter that even found him inside Hogwarts if you're in Hogsmeade.  Or so I heard," he offered with a grin.  "Have Emilia scent him.  If and when, Greg, let me know who you hurt that badly."  Greg nodded.  "Good kid.  Wanna give me the tots for the night?" he asked hopefully.  "We're doing a show for some kids."

Emilia snorted.  "You want the cranky boys and 'San to help?"

"Well, the twins can watch but I want Cassandra to help me," he offered sweetly, grinning at her.  "I'll watch 'em. You know I will."

"Cranky and Cranky are napping and so is 'San.  When's the show?" Greg asked.

"In about an hour."

"They'll be up by then," the parents agreed.

"Go ahead," Emilia offered.  "If you want them, you can change them and all that."  He beamed and went to gather his best stage helper since Teller and the twins he was hoping to provoke to magic.  She smiled as he came down the stairs with the kids.  "You guys be good for Uncle Penn," she said firmly.

"No magicing the other kids into cats, 'San," Greg told her.

"Yes, daddy.  I watch out for brovers too," she promised boldly, hugging her uncle.  "Can I play on stage again?"

"Sure, 'San, that's why I brought you, so you could help me today."  He grinned and winked, heading back to his place.

Greg got up, going to open the door for whoever had just pulled in so abruptly.  "Hey, Nick."  He grinned at him.  "Get in here."

"Sorry, you left this," he said, holding out Greg's sunglasses and journal.  "Thought you'd want it back."

"Sure."  He pulled him inside and sat him down at the table.  "Hungry?"

"Nah, I just ate a few minutes ago," he assured him. "I just got tired of my walls."

"Well, Penn just stole the kids," Emilia offered.  "He's got a show to do for a bunch of kids and likes to use Cassandra as a stage helper."

"He's trying to provoke magic in the boys," Greg offered, heading into the kitchen.  "Is Hodges a chicken or ham guy, Grissom?  I don't remember."

"I never pay that much attention to what he has for lunch, Greg."  He looked at Nick.  "Just now hitting you?"  He nodded.  "I understand.  It can be a scary thing but I'm sure it'll be fine.  When are they calling?"

"I've got my cellphone on me," he said, patting his pocket.  Then he groaned and sighed.  Emilia pulled her wand and summoned it, laying it in front of him.  "Thanks. I don't know why I forgot it. It's always on me."

"It's classical human psychology.  You don't want to know so you forgot," Grissom said with a small shrug.  "It makes sense.  It's like denial."  Someone pounded on the door.  "I guess that's Hodges."  Emilia opened it with her wand.  "That's very handy."

"Especially when you're having a lazy day," she quipped, grinning at him, then at Hodges.  "Get in here.  You might as well.  Close the door behind you, you're letting the air conditioning out."

He walked in and shut the door, leaning against it.  "What's going on?"

"Come get some food," Greg said from the kitchen.  "I had another vision and it was about you."  He carried out a few plates, putting one in front of Nick.  "Eat again. You'll need it."  He looked at Hodges.  "Yours is on the stove.  I know you too well for you to be considered a guest."  That got a snort but the tech did go to get his lunch.  He came back and sat facing Greg, taking a bite of the sandwich.  "Okay, earlier today I had a small vision, concerning you, Hodges."

"You're psychic now too?" he asked dryly.  "Should I expect you to suddenly fly in some day?"

"I don't really want to broom to work, it might cause problems, and seers are well known among us.  It's taught at the schools for those who have the gifts or want an easy elective."  Hodges shook his head quickly.  "Anyway, I've got about a ninety percent accuracy rating, I had a problem with a timeline once."  Hodges nodded slowly on that.  "I was off by a few days.  Not this time.  Someone's going to kidnap you."  Nick choked.  "Calm down.  It's not a fatal one.  Someone's going to turn him into something with sparkly wings."  He looked at him again.  "Full moon starts on Thursday.  If I'm right about the time, it's this month. If not, it could be next month.  I'm pretty sure it's this month though."

Hodges swallowed, coughing a bit.  "Why me?"

"I figure they found someone in your background that wasn't quite unmagical.  Either that or they figured out you'd be a good candidate for the change.  I'm pretty sure I've met the person doing it before.  There was a sense of limited familiarity with the person stealing you.  I haven't figured out yet where it comes from but I'm thinking it's someone local.  Once I figure out who, I'll try to stop them before they can steal you.  There's not that many of us in town."

"So I do what?" Hodges asked.  "Sit home with a gun?"

"No, you're coming to work," Grissom told him.  "It's harder to take you from the station than it would be your house, where you'd only have a few neighbors around, or even somewhere crowded, where no one would be specifically looking out for you.  So I want you in your lab bright and early on Wednesday and Thursday."

"Also, since we're thinking that this same person decided to make part of the desert unplotttble," Greg offered, "we're going to do multiple means of tracking you."

"Unplottable?" Nick asked.

"That means it can't be found on any map, you can't do a tracking spell into it, you can't do a tracking spell to find it, and it's basically an area hidden in plain sight.  We think the person doing it may have created that area as well, or it was one of the other potion masters who really didn't want Penn to know what he was doing."

"But how can you track me into it if you can't track it," Hodges asked.

"Easy," Greg said with a grin.  "We can track some things that aren't attached to it.  So Emilia's going to be rubbing you with some veela mating scent.  It may get you hit on a few times, and we can't promise it won't be men hitting on you instead of women, but we can track that easily since there's so few of us around here who've been exposed."

"Like a scent hound instead of a sight hound," Nick said.  "A sight hound can track in an underground cave as long as there's a trail but he might not notice a hidden room off to the side.  A scent hound follows a much softer trail and will find the room if there's any scent in it."

"Exactly," Greg agreed.  "We can track Emilia's mating scent.  There's only six or seven people in town who've been exposed to a veela in heat at all."  Hodges nodded at that.  "Just in case you're not hitting the unplottable piece of desert, I'll be doing the normal tracking spell on you as well."

"Plus we'll be putting a tracking device on you, Hodges," Grissom offered.  "That way no one can say anything.  Will dogs be able to scent her on him?"

"Yeah," Greg said, nodding.  "Very well.  It'll smell like he's in heat to them."  He looked at Hodges.  "So, probably this month, Thursday.  Possibly as an outside chance next month on the full moon."

"The moon is Friday, Greg."

"Full moon is more than one day, Hodges, and it's starting on Thursday," Greg said dryly.  "That's why Gris backed it up to Wednesday as well, just in case they snatch you early to hide you."

"Can I resist it if they do capture me?" he asked bitterly.

"Sure, please do," Greg agreed.  "Also, keep track of what they've done in case something starts to happen so we can undo it.  I saw a largish crystal, but that could be natural.  They'd only need some quartz probably.  It'd act like a prism to bend the magic somewhat. If they bought it, we may be able to track it."

"There's not that many places in town that sell crystals," Nick agreed.  "I had to track one once for a db case to figure out who he was.  That was my first year and there were only eighteen then."

"A crystal the size of a cooler would be harder to find," Greg agreed.  "I'm thinkin' it's about chest sized.  Not much bigger or it couldn't be carried. When I 'saw' it, I was pressed up against it, and it was bigger than my head, but I got the spatial sense that I was very close.  So looking from a casual level I'd say about chest sized."

"You could probably ask if they sold any crystals over ten pounds," Emilia offered. "We can check with our suppliers too."  Nick and Grissom both nodded at that.  "Okay, let's get Hodges scented for the first time.  I'll lay more over it Wednesday or Thursday before work, that way it's very fresh."

"Sure," Hodges agreed. "Will it soak into my skin through my shirt?"

"It's better against your skin, but I'll understand if you blush," she offered with a small grin.  He snorted and shook his head, eating another bite.  "Okay, stand up, take off your shirt."  He did so and she did the same, coming over to hug him from behind, wrapping her arms around him while she concentrated and pulled up her mating scent.  She saw Greg start to drool and figured it was good enough, rubbing herself against his back.  She felt his energies react and grinned, patting him on the stomach.  "Don't worry, it's a usual thing."  She let him go and sniffed.  "Well, anyone but a veela will probably hit on you for a few days."  She put back on the shirt Nick held out, without looking, and kissed him on the cheek.  "You look good in purple."

"Gee, thanks," he said dryly, frowning at her.  "They had to mark all the bad spots."

"Oh, honey," she offered, hugging him.  "Did you want to call your family while you're here?"

"I was gonna wait until I knew."  He looked up at her. "I don't wanna make Greg jealous."

"Why would I be?  She hugged you, you didn't grab her," Greg said, shrugging.  "She's a hugger, it's one of those things I like about her."  He ate another bite of dinner.  "Sit and eat, Hodges, and put that shirt aside in a plastic bag later so we can track you with it."

"Uh, yeah, sure, Greg.  Thanks."  He put back on his shirt and sat down, eating.  Nick leaned over to sniff him.  "Don't do that."

"Just seeing if I could tell the difference," he said with a grin.  "I can't."

"As long as my neighbor's dog doesn't try to hump my leg more often it'll be fine," he said dryly.

"No, I don't usually attract dogs, just guys who think they're better looking than they are," she offered smugly, smirking at him.  "It should be fine.  Hey, go out to a bar tonight if you've got the night off.  See if it works with the chicks."

"I'm not that sort of guy," he assured her.

Greg shrugged.  "Many people aren't."

"You were," Hodges snorted.

"Yeah, but I knew I wasn't going to go for anything permanent until I could get her.  Therefore I could play a little bit."

"Besides, he doesn't do it now," she assured them. "I'd spank him in an unfun way if he did."  She grinned at Greg, who chuckled.

Even Grissom blushed at that.  "I'm sure you keep Greg in line very well, Emilia."

"Oh, I do," she said, winking at him.  "Has he been giving you fits at work again?"

"No, he's been very helpful.  Our new swingshift person starts next week.  He made all the calls, weeded it down to three people and did the pre-interviews to let them know what the lab was like.  He gave me copies of the tapes so I could hear them.  The one he picked I interviewed first and I liked her best out of the four.  Ecklie's cousin had to be interviewed too, Greg."

"He wasn't qualified."

"I know, but I had to anyway when Ecklie pushed me.  I did point out that he wasn't qualified to do DNA work. He wanted us to teach him."

"Fat chance I have the time," Greg said bitterly. "I have a life.  I'm enjoying my life."  Someone knocked.  "Who is it?" he yelled.

"Me," Brass yelled back.

"It's open."  He looked at Grissom again.  Then back at Brass since he was walking in with a girl.  She had flame red hair, dyed that shade obviously, wore a purple leather corset, a black silk shirt and a teal and purple flowered skirt overtop of her black hose and black biker boots.  "Hey," he said, grinning at her.  "Our new intern?"  Brass nodded, shutting the door behind them.  "Welcome to my home.  I'm Greg, this is my wife Emilia, our coworker Hodges, he's another labbie, and the supervisor Grissom.  I take it Brass picked you up from the train station?"

"Yeah, he was really cool when I called and got him instead of the dayshift people.  Someone transferred me to his phone."

"Ecklie decided they were rather busy."

"What else is new," Greg snorted.  "Busy with what?"

"Not a clue," Brass admitted.  "No kids?"

"Penn.  He's doing a show for some kids so we let them go."

"That's so liberal of you," she offered, smiling at them.  "By the way, I'm Holy."

"Holy, like holy artifact?" Hodges asked.

"Or like Holy Gee, Batman?" Greg teased.

She laughed.  "More like Batman, or at least I hope I can be."  She grinned at Hodges.  "Yeah, my mom forgot the second 'l'.  She was really upset when she figured that out once the painkillers wore off and it cost too much to fix.  So I'm Holy."  She shook everyone's hand then sat down.  "So, when do I start and can someone help me find a spot to park my few things?"

"Sure," Emilia agreed.  "I can get with you on that tonight.  Does she work tonight, Grissom?"

"We probably should give her the tour tonight, do all the paperwork and things, then let her start tomorrow," he offered.  "I thought you were coming in tomorrow."

"So did I.  The tickets came for today though so I wasn't going to argue."  She grinned around the room.  "This is nice."

"Thanks, I just bought it last year," Greg told her.  "Gris, did dayshift find a new DNA guy?"

"No," he snorted.  "Ecklie told me to find them one too.  Told me to hire my second choice for your spot."

"Wonderful," he said dryly.  "Well, I gave you mine for my spot and it's someone who can do a few different jobs in case you send me back to the lab now and then.  She passed her scene tech and does computer hardware as well.  Recent graduate," he told Hodges.  "Fairly nice but a bit uptight around new people.  Kinda reminded me of you in some ways so I think you and Bobby will get along okay.  She's a perfectionist as well but does have an odd sense of humor.  Mostly to the odd, dirty, and redneck jokes from what she said during her interview.  Likes classical music in the lab, but does jazz and light rock at home.  Has a thing for eighties metal now and then."  He looked at Grissom.  "My second choice was way more uptight and much more a social climber sort.  Ecklie would love him and that's why I put him second.  My third choice would be better suited to do the work though."

"I'll look them over tonight.  Are they on my desk?"

"In your locker.  Your desk had piles of folders the last I knew.  I didn't want them to get lost."

Grissom smiled at that.  "Thank you, Greg.  You've been a big help during this."

Holy smirked at him.  "No wonder you got to preinterview me."

"Yeah, well, we've had some problems.  Our swingshift guy just retired. Our dayshift guy had an accident with some samples and got fired.  We called in the old guy to come help sort things out and he had a heart attack in my desk chair.  I'm getting ready to move out into the field so I needed someone to replace or share with me.   We desperately needed you, even before the dayshift guy made that fatal mistake.  That's why he made it actually."  She smiled slightly at that.  "We were a bit backed up."

"Messed up samples with cases?"  He nodded.  "I've heard that can happen when you're going too fast.  I don't do that.  I like slow, steady, methodical pacing."

"Good, we like that," Grissom agreed.  "That's why I hired you.  You answered that question about how to do three hundred samples the best."

"Have we had days like that?"

"We've had weeks like that," Greg told her.  "With just the two of us, that's why he made his mistakes. Having you here will definitely cut down on that."

"I'm fine with that," she agreed.  "Is tomorrow looking to be another butt scorcher?"

"At the moment, we've got about a two sample backlog," he offered.  "I left two running and I'm sure someone pulled their results from the printer."  She smiled at that and nodded.

"I did, Greg, and thank you for starting those. I know it made you home late for breakfast."

"Not an issue, I understand those things.  That's why I don't start cooking until he makes it home," Emilia said dryly.  "Greg, how many are going to be like you in the lab?"

"None," he said with a small shrug.  "None of the ones like me wanted to come out here.  They said it'd too hot.  The one on my final list decided Vancouver was nicer or she'd have been my second choice."

"Interesting," Hodges noted.

"Then again, I'm the sister to a Wiccan who does have some powers," Holy noted, grinning madly at him.  "Screwed with my mind for months after she turned me into a cat for Halloween.  Greg here just nodded and hummed, apparently understanding it?" she asked, looking at him.  "I don't practice."

"We do," Emilia told her.  "But not that form.  Not chaos either but we do have a few friends who are chaos incarnate."

"Alex isn't *that* bad," Nick teased.

She snorted.  "I was thinking Luna and Tipsy and her boys, but yes, he is.  Oh, big news.  I heard it from Sev while you were sleeping, honey.  Alex found Malgadesh and was given the duty to excavate it."

"Oh, that's so great!" he said, grinning madly and bouncing a bit.  "He's got to be so stoked!  That's a great find!"

"It is," she agreed.  "Sev's making all their healing and necessary potions for them since Draco's so busy with Bill learning preservation at their present site.  Bill's going with him and the kids."

"He's an archeo person?"

"Kinda," Greg agreed.  "A small subset.  Ancient writings and the like."

"Cool.  I'm sure they run up their sunscreen bill very high."

"Oh, they do," Greg said dryly.  "I made them some the last time they were in town.  Speaking of, Nick, did you remember?"

"No," he moaned, shaking his head.  "I forgot.  I guess I'll start once they start fixing things."  He looked at his phone as it rang.  "That's Cath."  He answered it.  "Yeah?"  He listened.  "No, not yet.  Probably not until around six they said.  Thanks, Cath.  Yeah, I'll tell Gris so he can announce it.  Sure.  Tell Lindsey that I love her.  Sure."  He hung up and shook his head.  "She wanted to know if I'd gotten results yet."

Greg looked at his phone.  "One voicemail."  He handed it back. "Probably while you were driving.  It's after six."

Nick dialed his voicemail box and listened, then sighed and hung up, nodding. "It was cancerous but not very advanced.  It hadn't moved down to the lower tissues yet."  Greg and Emilia both hugged him.  "I'll be fine.  They said they can still laser off the others and watch me very carefully.  Gris, any word on the insurance stuff?  They think it'll cover it."

"It will," Greg assured him.  He tipped Nick's face up.  "It will cover it," he promised.  Nick nodded at that offer and Greg sat back down.  "Holy, if you want a sandwich, we can make you one."

"No, I'm good.  I nibbled the whole trip.  Soooo," she said, looking at Nick.  "I won't be working with you for a while?"

"Skin cancer.  They did the biopsy this morning.  You'll be working with me in a few months."  She gave him a hug.  "Thanks."

"I hope you're okay.  You seem like a good guy to work with.  And no, I'm not hitting on you.  I like girls.  Mostly smart women with great legs, but I like girls," she offered with a grin, making him laugh and nod.  "So you and I can go out some night and check out chicks in the bar if I don't creep you out too much, 'kay?"

"Sure," he agreed, patting her on the arm.  "I do it with Warrick, we can bring you along."

Grissom shook his head.  "We should probably head in soon.  Hodges, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm still processing.  I'll probably be upset later and go corner Greg in the lab."

"My replacement's coming in sometime this week," Greg told him.

"You hired her?" Grissom asked.

"Ecklie told me to," he defended.  "I told her she had a two week trial and you had the final say at that time."

"That's fine, Greg.  What about dayshift?"

"The third person in the folder," he told him wisely.  "All the official application stuff is in there as well.  I'm very thorough."

"Thank you, Greg.  I'll look them over when I get in.  What day this week?"

"Depends on when she can get her mother to quit crying on her.  She was hoping for tomorrow but her mother's one of those clingy, saran wrap mothers so it might not be until Friday.  I had her come in before Sunday, that way she could do the tour and be up and running on Monday."

"That's fine," he agreed, smirking at him.  "Ecklie told you to hire her?"

"No, Ecklie told me to hire someone, get them here by next monday, and have them be as competent as I am to replace me.  He said the dayshift guy would be found within a week afterwards, probably from my castoffs."

"Fine," he agreed.  "I'll look them over when I head in.  Which I should probably do.  Need a ride, Hodges?"

"No, I drove.  I'll be right in."  Grissom nodded, kissing Emilia on the cheek before walking off.  He looked at Greg.  "What happened?  Did everyone just quit?"

"The swingshift guy was the guy who had the heart attack.  The dayshift guy got fired after he made that mistake.  Grissom was going to talk to him but Ecklie saw him first.  Oh, honey, his wife's threatened to sue me because I said that Grissom wasn't firing him immediately but Ecklie did.  I did tell her that Grissom hadn't been planning on it and Grissom backed me up, but then he pointed out Ecklie saw him first."

"Gee, now you tell me," she said dryly.  "Fine, I'll be on the lookout for people with legal papers."

"Can he do that?" Brass asked.

"Probably.  Personal pain and suffering," Greg told him, shrugging a bit.  "It's not like he's going to take the family money."  Brass and Nick both snorted at that and Hodges moaned.  "What?"

"The former dayshift guy went to the FBI, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, and I also know that they came to ask me what was going on and I told them and they left satisfied.  They did say they were watching my interest payments from my friend, but that they couldn't really stop it."  He shrugged.  "The guy's ruined.  I'm surprised he didn't try to sue me."

"I think the agent in charge had a talk with him about that," Brass offered with a smug look.  "Something about no evidence and his own stupidity.  If he had went to them first, they might have done something but now there's no evidence."

"Yeah, because we're storing the backlog in the safe," Emilia told him.

"You probably shouldn't do that," Hodges warned.  She looked at him.  "You might get broken into again or have to justify things."

"True," Greg admitted.  "I'll call him from work tonight."  He got up and kissed his wife on the cheek, heading up the stairs.  "Let me change, Holy, and I'll drive you in.  Brass, you can stay since the kids are gone."

"Sure."  He ate another bite of his sandwich.  "Where did your story monsters go?"

Emilia grinned. "Penn and Teller are doing a show for kids.  They're there with a reasonable adult."  She casually started to unravel the spell she felt kick in, making it snap after a few moments.  Then she smiled again.  "They'll be fine."

"I'm sure," he agreed.  "I'll pop around there on my way in, make sure that they can get home okay.  The twins were being watched the last I knew."

"Oh, they were," she sighed, waving a hand.  "But it's okay now because that person felt my wrath quite well.  Let's just say that a virtual foot up the ass sideways works well as discouragement."  She smiled sweetly.  "Among other things.  Luna helped me talk with the stupid person."

Brass snickered, shaking his head.  "Yeah, she'd be enough to discourage me too."  He ate another bite.  "What's going on?"

"Greg got ...word that someone might try to steal Hodges during the full moon this month, or possibly next month if he's thwarted or got the timeline wrong."

"Interesting.  I'll try to hang around more this week."

Hodges looked at him. "You hate me."

"I don't *hate* you, Hodges, I just find you annoying, but I still won't let anyone steal you."  He smirked.  "I did take an oath."

"Fine," he said sarcastically.  "I should head in too.  Holy, want to ride with me instead of Greg?"

"No, that's okay."  She yawned.  "This way I know how to get back here and we can chat about his lab on the way in.  But I'll eat lunch with you if you want."  He nodded, smiling at her and shaking her hand.

"Welcome to the lab.  You'll do okay here."  He stood up and headed out after patting Emilia on the arm.

"He likes you," Brass told her.

"Of course he does.  I'm very likeable and I'm not after his job," she reminded him.  "I'm a neutral person who talks to him like an adult and doesn't try to play politics with him.  That puts me in the likeable category for him.  Especially since I occasionally bring him in snacks too."  She grinned at Holy.  "Usually he's a bit grumpy in the lab.  But he's an okay guy out of it."

"I'll remember that," she agreed, smiling back.  "Lots and lots of departments are politically oriented and very push-and-shove to get a spot.  Greg said most of his shift wasn't like that."

"It's not," Nick promised.  "None of us could care less except for our next step up and next raise.  None of us want to be Grissom.  Though, most of us don't like Ecklie."

"I'll introduce you later, after you've had the tour," Greg said as he came down the stairs.  Nick looked at him.  "What? Not good?"

"No, you look like a normal CSI in the field.  Are you heading out tonight?"

"I don't know yet, but I thought I'd try to make a good impression."  He unbuttoned his shirt and showed off one of his usual t-shirts.  "Not too far off, but coverable," he said smugly.  He kissed his wife deeply, hugged Nick.  "Hog the wife to talk if you want and call your family from the couch.  It's more comfy for long chats."  He helped Holy up and out to his car, checking that he had everything in the back.  "Okay, I'm good."  He frowned and patted himself down, but Emilia tossed his wand from the doorway.  "Thanks, honey.  See you for lunch?" he asked with a grin.

"If not, I'll send something in for you and Hodges."  She smiled and went back inside, closing the door.

"So you're one of those," she said, looking at him.

Greg nodded, grinning at her.  "Only one in the lab actually.  That's why I wasn't that upset with your cat story.  I know others who use that form."  He got in to drive, then had to summon the keys off the board.  He shook his head.  "It's going to a night," he warned.  She buckled up and he buckled up, then they headed to the lab to start the tour.  Ecklie was waiting on them at the front door.  "Hey," he said, nodding at him.  "Our intern."  He waved at her.  "Holy McNamara, this is Director Ecklie, he runs the lab."

He looked her over.  "Well, you're like the others in the lab, very colorful and unique."  He looked at Greg.  "Your replacement?"

"Here by Sunday.  She has to get away from a crying mother."

"Oh, good.  What's she like?"

"Serious.  Likes classical music in the lab.   You'll like her, I promise."  He grinned.  "When she shows up, I'll introduce her and I also gave Grissom two other people that you can use to fill the dayshift slot.  The third one would be my choice.  I think she'd fit better on your crew."

"Fine.  I'll look those over later.  Where were they?"

"In Gris' locker.  He had a lot of files on his desk so I slid it inside there."

"Fine.  Did he get to talk to her?"

"I told her a two week trial to make sure she could handle the stress and Gris would make the final decision then.  That way she could back out after watching us for a few days."

"Even better.  Thank you.   My cousin...."

"Wasn't qualified, Ecklie.  If he goes to somewhere like where Holy was, at Marshall, and does their graduate degree in forensics, he'd get a spot in no time."

"They do?"

"I told you about that," he reminded him.  "Gave you their web address and all that stuff."

"I'll have to look it over more closely.  A real degree?"  Greg nodded.  "Fine.  Welcome to the lab, Holly."

"Holy, sir, my mother forgot an 'l' while on pain killers from labor."

"Oh.  That's fine.  Sorry."  He shook her hand.  "Good luck.  I hope you can hack it here."

"I don't see why I shouldn't.  Greg's said a lot about the workload and I was working on the CODIS project at Marshall."  She walked in with Greg, getting her badge from reception, then followed him back.  "Is he always like that?"

"He's an asskisser who likes the press," Greg said, glancing around.

"I heard that, Sanders," Ecklie called.

"It's the truth, sir.  You know it is."  He smirked and leaned closer.  "I've got some material on him so he's leaving me alone as long as I don't generally air my views."  He led her back into their section and found Catherine waiting.  "Ah, Catherine, this is Holy.  She'll be our swingshift intern starting tomorrow."

"Welcome to the lab," she said, shaking her hand.  "Nick?"  He nodded quickly.  "Bad?"

"A few layers down.  They said they'd be able to still do the lasering.  He's at my house calling his folks."

"I'll call there later," she promised, giving him a hug.  "Why does Hodges smell like sex?"

"Oh, someone's going to snatch him so we scented him with something pretty easily found.  Emilia helped," he offered with a grin.

"Oh, okay," she said, shrugging a bit.  "So, Holy, any family?"

"A few brothers, a sister who's a Wiccan turning towards chaos now and then."

"Ah.  We have Greg for all the chaos we need around here."  She grinned at him.  "Warrick's in the lounge, Sara's in the garage, and Gris is locked in his office."

"We already ran into Ecklie and she met Hodges and Nick at the house with Brass and Gris.  Brass picked her up from the train station."

"Wonderful.  Want me to do the tour?"

"No, I can. Unless I've got stacks?"

"No, nothing yet," Warrick said as he walked up the hall.  "Hi.  Warrick Brown."  He shook her hand.

"Holy McNamara.  Swingshift DNA intern," she greeted with a grin.

"Welcome to the lab.  Greg, Nick?"

"My house.  Call there."  He nodded briefly.  "The first few layers were."

"Shit," he said bitterly.  "He'll be fine though, right?"

"Yeah, they said they have it in hand.  Go ahead and call my house.  I'm sure he's on Emilia's shoulder by now."  They nodded, heading to do that.  "They're both CSI's in the field.  Let me introduce you to Sara first then we'll tour the labs."  She nodded, following along behind like a trotting puppy.  "Sara!" he called from the doorway.  Her head popped out from the trunk.  "This is Holy, she's our swingshift DNA tech."

"Hey," she said, nodding.  "I'll have a few for you soon, Greg."

"That's fine, mark 'em and lay 'em in there if I'm not."  He walked her off.  "She's very dedicated," he said quietly, leading her to the coroner's office.  "Hey, David," he said with a grin.  "This is Holy, she's our swingshift DNA intern.  Holy, this is David, he's one of our coroners.  Doc Robins in?"

"Not yet.  He's probably not coming in tonight. He had an appointment at the doctor's."  He shook her hand.  "If you want to watch one, just let me know.  Most of the lab techs don't but most CSI's have to now and then."   He grinned.  "We've seen others pass out before so don't worry about it."

"That's cool, but I did that in school when I did a summer at the local house of the dead."

He nodded.  "Good.  Well, if you need us, yell.  If you see the old guy with the cane, it's Doc Robins, he's the head coroner, he's pretty cool.  Just a bit growly now and then," he said with a wink.  "Later, Greg."

"Later, David."  He steered her away.  "We do ours in-house and you may have to pick up samples from in there now and then."  She shrugged and nodded.  "Good.  My first time I wanted to puke, it was a burned body.  But David and Doc Robins are pretty cool."  He tapped on a lab door.  "This is AV."  He stuck his head in at the yell.  "Hey, Archie, the new intern's in.  Where's everyone?"

"Um, cake for Western.  Secondary free lab."

"Sure."  He nodded. "You coming?"

"Sure."  He came out to join them, smiling at the young woman. "I'm Archie, the AV guy."

"Holy, DNA."  She shook his hand and let him lead her off to the party.  At least she'd get to know everyone and get a new look at how the lab ran.  "Do you just do AV or do we switch off some?  Some crossing over?"

"Not much," he offered.  "We're pretty much specialists around here.  Of course, if you wanted to learn something from us, if we're not too busy, we'd probably teach you on the side. All but Hodges, he can get a bit...grumpy."

"I met him earlier at Greg's."

"Well, if you're looking for strange and odd, Greg's is usually the place to find that," he admitted, grinning back at Greg.  "Sorry but you know how it is."

"Oh, I do," he agreed dryly.  He opened the door and ushered them in.  "I'm here, the party can start," he announced, cracking the others up.  "And I brought our new swingshift DNA intern.  Guys, and ladies, this is Holy.  She's from Marshall.  Brass picked her up earlier.  She starts tomorrow."

The group pulled her in as one of their own, talking to her about her training and some new things going on in the field.   It would be fine, she'd fit right in with their oddness, even if they did embarrass him by telling her how odd he was.

***

Greg looked up at the polite cough and grinned.  "She let you go early?"

"I snuck out," she offered.  "I'm assuming you're Greg and this is our lab?"  He nodded, waving her inside, taking a sip of his coffee.  "This is nice.  My last one wasn't this nice."  She looked around then grinned at him.  "So, what's on for tonight?"

"Meeting everyone and Gris and possibly Ecklie if you can't avoid it.  Filling out the rest of the paperwork, then you can start tomorrow," he said with bright grin.  "Come on.  We're still kinda gathered around the cake for our departing dayshift guy who recently had a heart attack."

"Sure."  She put her briefcase and bag down, following him out and down the hall.  She looked around. "This is a great looking department."

"It is," he agreed.  "With you here, the ratio of males and females is a bit more even.  We only had a few women working here before.  Of course, I didn't even ask you your gender or your first name," he reminded her with a grin and a wink.  "I didn't want that to come into play."

"I appreciate that."  She smiled and nodded at the person they were passing, turning to look back at him and he was doing the same.  "Hi, I'm Nicole.  I'm taking Greg's spot."

"Wow, two in one day."  He shook her hand.  "Warrick Brown.  Field CSI."

"Wonderful.  I look forward to working with you."  She smiled and walked off with Greg.  "Many of those here?"

"Nope.  Nick's on leave.  Catherine and Sara are in the field.  Warrick and Grissom are the only two hanging around at the moment."  He tapped on the door and stuck his head in.  "Everyone still in here?"

"It's been a slow night," Bobby from Questionable Documents offered.  "Why?"

"My replacement is also here.  I didn't really expect her this early."  He opened the door fully and let Nicole enter.  "Guys, this is Nicole Brandert.  She's my replacement and I'll be timesharing with her now and then when she's got to do computer stuff."

"Hi," they greeted, grinning at her.

"Before anyone says anything, I didn't ask her her first name or her gender, it just happened that the most qualified people were women."  He grinned.  "Which gives Sara one less thing to complain about around here."  He walked her further into the room, letting her get to know everyone.  "Where's Holy?"

"At lunch.  She said she promised Hodges she'd eat with him," their fingerprint tech called, pushing her hat off.  "Sorry, small party for a departing guy."

"No, that's okay.  I'm sure my department had one after I was gone too," she said with a smile.  She let herself mingle and mix, relaxing slowly to the group.

Greg snuck off, going to find Grissom, who had Hodges in his office.  "Nicole's here," he said, sticking his head into the office.  "Hey.  Nicole, my replacement's here."

"Wonderful," Grissom said, smiling at him.  "Ecklie complained about you again."

Greg shrugged.  "And?  I'm wearing a shirt over the t-shirt today."  He grinned brightly.  "Where's Holy?"

"At her hotel room.  She'll take a cab back to your place so Emilia can help her with apartment hunting.  Where's this new wonder-tech?" Hodges asked.

"The party."

"Thank you, Greg," Grissom said, getting up and leading them back there.  He walked in and focused on the new woman.  "Well, Greg has good taste in hirees.  Your resume was impeccable, your credentials were wonderful, your list of accomplishments was nearly as long as his, and he obviously picked for brains," he said, shaking her hand. "Gil Grissom, graveyard supervisor.

"Nicole Brendert.  I look forward to working with someone of your stature, Mr. Grissom.   I attended one of your lectures at UCLA three years ago.  Very interesting."

He smiled.  "I always like to hear that.  I try, rarely."

She laughed and nodded.  "I feel the same way most of the time.  That's why I stayed in LA for so long."  She looked back at the group and grinned.  "No, he didn't insult me.  I'd rather be known for my brains than anything else."

Hodges stuck his head in.  "We've got a case that just got called.  Brass said so.  Sorry, guys."

"What was it?" Greg asked.

"Multiple homicide with attendant car accident after the shooting."

"Oooh," Nicole winced.  "Driveby?"

"We don't get many of those here.  More like run-by's," the ballistics tech offered.  "Grissom, are you taking Greg now?"

"I can.  Greg, let's go."  He nodded, buttoning up his shirt as he followed him out to the Tahoe, grabbing his case from the back of his car on the way.  "Good, you're prepared."

"I've had it in the back of my car of the last week, Gris.  I'm probably over-prepared."  He slid into the passenger's side.  "Where?"

"I got the slip from Hodges," he promised, putting it on the dash.  He started the Tahoe and backed out but Greg suddenly cut the engine and slid out, grabbing his case.  "Greg?"

"Out, Grissom, before it blows."

He hurried out and they watched, checking their watch to see how long it took.  About two minutes later, their hair was messed up by the small explosion.  "What was that?"

"I put a check spell on all the Tahoes last month," he said quietly.  "Ever since Sara had hers vandalized on a scene."  He looked over as Brass came running.  "We're fine.  Remember the address?"

"Yeah, why?" he asked, looking confused.

"Just because the SUV blew up doesn't mean we don't have a job to do," Grissom reminded him, taking Greg's keys to his car.  "That'll work."  He headed that way, it was a nice car.

"What happened?" Brass yelled.

"The SUV blew up," Greg yelled back.  He turned and grinned then turned back around and hurried off, getting into the passenger's seat.  His case went back into the backseat with Grissom's and they were off, carefully going around the new mess in the parking lot.

Brass glared at the back of the car.  "I will get him one of these days," he muttered as the fire department drove in, lights and sirens going.  "No casualties," he called.  "Just the SUV.  They weren't in it."

"Why not?" one of the fireman asked him.  He shrugged.  "Oh.  Who drives this one?"

"CSI."

"Ah. Probably found a clue in it and hopped out just in time."  He went back to report to his boss.  Who could only shrug.  CSI were like magicians in his book too.  They'd tell them what happened once they found what had caused it to explode.

Warrick came jogging out with his case.  "What happened?"

"Greg said it exploded," Brass said grimly.  "Then he *grinned*."

"Did he make it explode?"

"No.  From the security footage I was staring at while waiting on a fax to go through, they got out, stood there, and the thing exploded."

"So Greg probably knew," he said, shrugging a bit.  "Where are they?"

"Shooting and car wreck in front of the college."

"Fine.  I'll check in with them later."

"You do that and let me know," he said grimly.  "That way I know how far to kick Sander's ass this time."

"He was doing something to all the Tahoe's last month after Sara got her radio stolen from hers."

Brass looked at him.  "He can do that?"

"Yeah, he can about do anything.  I'm guessing the burglar alarm or whatever he did showed him something was wrong."

"If it was, I'll only knock him around a bit for that stupid grin he gave me," he said dryly.

"He's in a good mood.  His replacement came today, the swingshift girl came today.  The dayshift guy's been narrowed down to two from what I heard Ecklie muttering about in the halls."

"I picked up the swingshift kid," he admitted.  "I didn't know his replacement was in."

"Yeah, Nicole.  She's *fine*," he hissed, glancing around, "but I hear Greg didn't even ask if she was male or female or first name.  Her accent said LA to me."

"I'll have to check on her later," he noted.  She had to be less annoying than Greg was. "Any other good news?"

"Yeah, Holy and Hodges get along.  They had lunch and he came back laughing happily."

"She likes girls."

"That's fine, I'm sure I can go hang out at the bar with her while we both look at women," he said dryly, smirking at him.  "What about Nicole?"

"Haven't heard a thing about her other than Greg said she does computers too."

"Good!  That means she can fill in an area we're temping on at the moment from Dayshift.  Sounds like he picked someone good and reasonable for the job."

"Ecklie told him to pick her."  Brass shrugged as Ecklie stormed out.  "We don't know what happened yet.  Grissom and Sanders are fine, they headed off to their crime scene once I got here."

"They went to a scene!" he demanded.  "Why?"

"Multiple shooting with a car wreck."

"Oh.  Eww."  He shook his head.  "Fine, get a statement from them later. I want to know what happened.  We don't have a budget for this."

"Isn't that what insurance is for?" Warrick suggested.   He heard one of the engine's radios start off.  "Guys, the truck radio is going!" he yelled. "You've got another call!"

One of the firemen jogged back to answer it, taking down the particulars.  He paused and looked at them, then said something, getting the same answer.  He hung up the radio.  "Station 12 is getting that one.  One of your other vehicles just exploded."

"Why?" Ecklie demanded.

"We're not sure yet, sir, but there was a report of no injuries."

"Sounds like someone wants you guys to walk," Brass said, sounding unhappy with that.  "Who else was out?"

"Cath and Sara."  He pulled out his phone to call them.  "You guys all right?  Gris and Greg were going out on a call when their Tahoe exploded too.  No, they're fine.  Yeah, sure.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Catherine said she saw a small flashing spot on the display and got out since she didn't know what it was.  She had Sara take the evidence out while she got their cases, and then it exploded."

"Was someone watching them?" Ecklie demanded.

"No, Catherine said Sara found a piece of a digital display throw from the explosion.  I'm guessing they saw the blink from that."

"That's good then.  It's a good thing," Ecklie agreed.  "Brass, where did you hide the insurance forms?"

"Top cabinet drawer, left hand side, folder's marked insurance."

"Thank you."  He went to find them.

Brass looked at Warrick.  "Flashing spot on the display?  It wouldn't radiate up that far.  Even in the dark."

"Well, I guess we know what Greg did," Warrick said dryly.  He looked at the steaming pile of metal.  "Whoever wanted us to walk has got another thing coming.  Most of us do have personal cars and we're more likely now to get them for this."

Brass clapped him on the back.  "Keep me informed.  I'll take statements once everyone gets back.  Or better yet, I'm going to go find Sanders and ask unofficially what he did."  He went to find his car and head out.  He started his car and a blinking light started to flash urgently so he grabbed what he wanted and got out, backing away.  "Um, guys, flashing display on mine too!" he yelled, ducking when the explosion went off.

"Oooh," the firemen said, then went to put that one out too.  Maybe they'd get this one faster so there was some evidence left.

Brass pulled out his radio.  "Dispatch, this is Brass.  I want SWAT at the CSI building now.  We've just had two cars explode and I want a check of every car in this lot."  He put his radio up and looked at Warrick, who was shaking his head.  He called Sanders himself.  "What other cars did you charm besides the Tahoe's and mine?" he asked simply.  "Mine just exploded.  Catherine's exploded. Yours exploded.  I need to know, Sanders."  He gave him a list of who's cars got the special treatment and he made a list to have the SWAT team check them first.  Just in case.  It showed logical thought.  He had the official vehicles, then their personal cars done before anyone else's.  Then he called Nick to have him check his own truck, just in case.  He didn't need this today, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

Changing Minds.

"There's no explosives, at all?" Warrick demanded, looking at Greg.  "How can there be no explosives at all?"

Greg shrugged.  "It could have burned up."

"On a car?  On a house maybe, but not on a car, Greg."

"Think about it.  Cherry bomb in the gas tank.  What would be the residue?"

"Nothing.  The gas would have been hot enough to burn it up completely and would have been the accelerant," he said thoughtfully. "Brass's car had a locking tank though."

"Yeah, but Brass's car shows a trace of acid," he offered, handing that report over.  "On the SUV we were in, and in Cath's, there's no traces of anything."

"What about your way of doing things?" he asked quietly.

Greg shook his head.  "That's part of what I did last month, so only helpful stuff could be applied.  Like something to help them stay in tune longer."  Warrick nodded and sighed at that.  "Hey, I'm just glad I put that check on there, man.  I didn't want to be blown up and I didn't want you guys to be blown up either.  Everyone got out safely and for that I'm really thankful."

Warrick nodded.  "Thanks, Greg.  Got anything other than this acid mark?"

"No. Not a bit, man, I'm sorry.  Bring me more, maybe I can figure out what happened."  Warrick nodded, heading out to report that.

Grissom stuck his head in a few minutes later.  "Could this be about the plot to kidnap Hodges?" he asked bluntly.

"If it was, why would they have come after you?" he asked.  "Or Brass."  Grissom nodded at that.  "Don't worry though, if I find out this had something to do with that, I'll be killing someone brutally.  Very, very brutally.  You'll be picking up blood evidence for months."  Grissom smirked at that and left.  Greg went back to the other samples he had to run tonight.  His replacement was working day shift until Grissom talked to the other two people on his short list.  That left him in the lab and Emilia paranoid.  He picked up his ringing phone, knowing it was her checking on him again.  "I'm still fine, 'Mil."  He grinned.  "Sure, babe.  Come up for lunch."  He blew a kiss.  "Love you too."  He hung up and went back to testing samples, trying to find something, anything, to help solve this one.

***

Hodges managed to get a soda without anyone trailing him there, and mentally congratulated himself.  Considering someone had followed him to the bathroom earlier, he was really starting to get annoyed at this.  No one could take him from the station.  He saw Sara stop and stare at him and waved his can of soda before opening it and taking a drink, heading back his domain.  Hopefully whoever was doing this would try tonight so he wouldn't have to do this again next month.  They had promised to watch out for him and they were trying, just a bit too hard. He sat down to sip his soda, looking at his newest samples to run.  Animal hairs, wonderful.  He took another sip, and was starting to put his can down when he felt the disorientation happen.  He and his stool were transported away and all he could do was squeak.  He landed in a cave, with his soda in hand and his stool under him, able to look around for now.  "What is going on here?" he demanded.  "Put me back"

"I don't think so," a male voice said smugly.  "Sorry, but I need someone like you and you'll do just fine in my experiment."

Hodges was blinded by a light and felt the can be taken from him before he was put onto a softer spot. That's when he was knocked out.

***

Greg looked up as someone went running, heading over to Hodges's lab because he knew he had been right.  "Okay," he said, pulling out the book that had the charm in it and Hodges's shirt.  He tried the tracking charm and groaned, looking over as Grissom came in.  "He's in that unplottable spot."

"Can you still track him?"

"Yeah, I can," he admitted.  "Or more precisely, Alex can."  He called him through their tattoos, waking him up.  "Alex, major emergency.  How do I track Emilia's scent on someone else."

"Why do you think I'd know?"

"Because you track and hunt, dumbass. Someone's life is in danger, I had Emilia scent him with mating scents.  We've got a wizard with an unplottable section in the desert."

"Then the easiest way would be to plot the desert and find the blank spot," he offered tiredly.  He even let out a mental yawn.  "Beyond that, in your seventh year charms book is the 'avarico' charm.  Use that.  That's what I usually used when I wanted Draco and he was inside the school."

"How do you know it's in there?"

"It was in his."

"Oh.  Thanks."  He called his charm book from his bookshelf, going outside to catch it with the shirt.  He cut out a piece and handed the rest back to Grissom.  He cast the charm and it worked, so he headed after it, thinking about how bad this was going to be.  "It's fading," he complained through the link.

"You've got to keep a firm thought of that desire in your head or else it'll go to the next desire you want."

"Thanks."  He went back to thinking very hard about wanting Hodges to be found and the sign shifted back, sending him off that way.  He head dogs behind him but that was fine.  They were good and a normal way of finding someone.  He found the edge of the unplottable area and the charm winked out.  "That's fine, there's not much here."  He turned and used his wand to inscribe the Bane's mark in the ground and an arrow, but it faded out as soon as he did it.  He walked off by ten feet and did it again, then smirked and broke the charm on the edges of the area keeping him from marking it.  He even used the purple spray paint in his pocket as an added thing, locking it in the 'on' position magically before tossing it away.  It'd keep going until it ran out in about twenty minutes.  He hurried back to the area, running into a barrier.  "How do I do this?" he asked.

"Bend it inward, pushing with your magic.  Use the 'mangus shove' option."  Greg nodded, bending it inward.  He followed it and felt it crack.  "Watch out, it'll snap back, duck."  He ducked and it snapped over his head, brushing painfully across his back, but he was inside.  "Good job, Greggo.  Now, turn and find the stone anchoring it.  It should be just a regular rock in the ground."

"This is the desert, Alex, there's lots of rocks."  He destroyed a few but didn't find it so he went on.  He'd do that later.  He could always move them out of the area.  He found the old cave and walked boldly inside, glaring at the wizard he had helped save when his dragon had bit him.  "You idiot!" he shouted.  "He works for the cops!  They're coming for you, stupid!  I can't shield you and Penn won't!"  He shocked him, making him scream in pain.  "Good!"  He looked at Hodges, then at the crystal, then winced.  "Okay, not my best area.  I really wish Blair were sensible at the moment."

"Can't do everything?" the wizard sneered.

Greg felt Alex land behind him.  "Can you break that while I kill him?"

Alex shrugged and walked over to check on Hodges, while Greg went to beat the crap out of the other wizard, then handcuffed one wrist and his opposite ankle together.  Alex chuckled at that.  "Well, it's a bit too far gone.  I'm guessing you're gonna need McGonagall for this.  I've already called her for you."  He looked at him and went to destroy the stone holding the barrier up, letting in the cops.  "I'm a friend of Greg's," he said at the drawn weapons.  "Hodges is in there with Greg and the guy who was hurting him by surgically enhancing him.  I've already called a friend who's dealt with this stuff to come help."  He looked at Brass.  "Hey."

"Hey.  Thanks."

"Welcome.  I had to teach Greg how to break the barrier.  How did you get here so fast?"

"Helicopter.  Wonderful things."

"True," he agreed dryly.  "How did he mark it?"

"A continuously running spray paint can."

"Good job, Greg," he called.  He saw McGonagall land and look around in confusion, whistling at her to come over and join them.  She gave him a dirty look. "It's important," he called.  "Now, please."  She stomped that way.  "Clear the cops out, please," he offered.

"Sure."  Brass went to clear out the cops, letting them inside to treat Hodges, while he stood and watched.  "You weren't kidding, shiny wings."

"Yeah.  I'm not sure if we can reverse this or not.  Thank you for helping us, Professor."

"It's not a problem, Gregory.  I didn't think anyone knew of these things any longer."  She bent down to look at him, seeing how far the transformation had progressed.  She patted Hodges's face until he woke up.  "I can reverse it but you may still have some characteristics of the creature.  Or I can move forward and then reverse it next month, young man.  Which would you prefer?"

"Would I be normal again?"

"You would if I reversed it once it was fully completed.  I cannot guarantee it the other way.  Plus, the pain will be incredible that way."

"Then go forward and reverse it later," he panted, clutching at her hand. "I already ache."

"Of course," she agreed gently, working to finish it off.  The crystal embedded his body and she waited, checking her pocket watch until he came back out.  In the meantime, the heartbeat echoed around them.  "Why did he do it, Gregory?" she asked quietly.

"He wanted him as part of his menagerie," he said grimly.  "It's the guy who had the dragon in heat that bit him," he told Alex.

"Good, then I get to kick him once or twice too."  He walked over and kicked him, getting around Grissom to do so.  "That makes twice you've interfered with my life, prat.  I will see you hexed to death for this."  He sneered down at him.  "I am a Dumass."

The wizard started to cry.  "I was only trying to create a Godless Potion."

Greg looked at him.  "Oh, no, you didn't even think about that," he said coldly.  "If you did, you're so damn stupid it's not funny.  It's not workable.  It's not real.  It's also not going to give you the power you wanted, stupid.  Only practice and skill can give you power.  That potion has never worked and will never work.  It was created by the rantings of a mad man and it killed him."  The wizard continued to cry.  He patted him down, finding his wand.  Which he tucked into his pocket.  "If he gets out, Penn can give it back to him."  He looked over as the crystal split and Hodges flew out, landing in the palm of his hand.  "Hey.  Feel a bit better now?"  The small sprite nodded so he let him go with a small blown breath to get him airborne.  "Think about being your normal size again."

McGonagall charmed him and he landed normal human size, then hugged her, sobbing on her shoulder.  "There, there, dear.  It's all right.  Have Greg bring you to me on the next full moon and I'll gladly undo this.  Until then, you'll manage," she soothed.

He nodded, pulling back and wiping his eyes.  "I didn't cry," he said firmly, glaring at Greg.

Greg only shrugged.  "I didn't see any tears."  He grabbed the blanket from Brass's hand, putting it around his shoulders.  "The wings, can we hide them or will they be damaged under his shirts?"

"I'd put them outside his shirts but under a jacket," she offered gently.  He nodded.  "You'll manage, dear.  Greg is very good at hiding things.  He had a tail for nearly six weeks before we figured it out."  She smiled and nodded at them.  "If I'm not needed?"

"You'll see us in twenty-seven days," Greg assured her. She nodded and apparated out.  "Come on, Hodges.  There's an ambulance and you'll need checked over.  If anyone remarks on the wings...."

"Can't you hide them?" he asked.

"Sure."  Alex did the charm with a yawn, then smirked and waved, leaving them there.  He sent a silent 'thank you' over their link while walking him out.  "Here, be gentle with his back, he said it hurts."  The paramedic nodded and walked him off.  Greg looked over as another paramedic drug out the wizard in better handcuffs.  He was put into a separate ambulance and taken off to be admitted to the county hospital's jail section.  He looked at Grissom, then at Brass.  "We'll need about three days off in twenty-seven days."

"Of course," Grissom agreed.  "It can be fixed?"  Greg nodded.  "Good."

"Who was she?" Brass asked.

"Professor McGonagall.  That's her area," he said, nodding back at the cave.  "Alex called her."

"That's fine, Greg.  Could he have done the cars?"

"Possibly.  I didn't find any herbal residue at all though."  Brass nodded.  "Ask him, he'll probably plead insanity and claim it was all to make a potion to make him equal to a God."  He walked off, heading back to the house once he was out of sight.  He needed a hug and a kiss and Nick was still on his couch.  "Hodges is fine.  We can turn him back in a month."

"Good," Emilia said as she came down to hug him.  "I'm glad he's fine."  She kissed him gently, then gave him a long cuddle.  "Go back to work, Greg, and come home on time."  He nodded, disappearing to head back to the station.  "Poor Hodges.  I wonder what was going on?"  A paper landed at her feet and she looked at it, then snorted.  "That idiot!"  The wand soon followed and she called Penn, leaving a message on his voicemail to call her about the idiot trying to hurt others.  She went to fix Nick some soup, his stomach was still uptight from the treatment earlier in the day.

***

Hodges walked into Greg's lab and shut the door, looking at him. "Do you know how much that hurt?"

"I'm guessing here, but the same pain everyone else feels the first time they change shape?"  He grinned.  "I remember my first time, hurt like a bitch.  I nearly cried for weeks."

"You do what?"

Greg looked around, then phased down to his animagus form, a Desert Iguana.  Then he popped back to normal size, straightening out his t-shirt. "Hurt like hell the first time, and it's very cold in Scotland," he said dryly, smirking at him.  "Fortunately, Emilia and Blair both become warm, furry things so I could curl up with them."

"You...you can do that?"

"Yeah, have since I was sixteen.  There wasn't anything else for us to do around the castle.  We'd already driven three teachers to drink, another one nearly to suicide, had detention roving weekly to try to separate us, and then we had a wonderful early snowstorm that canceled our quidditch practice for nearly two weeks.  We got bored.  It's a hard bit of studying but we got through it - made ourselves go through this.  Of course, I'd be in trouble for telling you this because I never registered and no one but the group knows," he said dryly.  "But if you keep my secret, I'll cover for you when you fly around your lab to try it out."

"I can?"

"Sure.  Think about it."  He grinned.  "It's all a matter of perspective, Hodges.  Sometimes you gotta be little to see the littlest things, and sometimes you gotta be bigger to see the whole picture.  Oooh, and here comes Ecklie," he said, glancing out the window.  "I'd hide.  He's not in a good mood."

"How do I do that?"

"Concentrate, want to become smaller and fly around."  Hodges screwed up his face, then let out a squeak as he suddenly shrunk.  Greg picked him up and put him on top of a microscope's eyepiece.  "Stay," he hissed, pulling over his next sample.

Ecklie stuck his head in.  "Sanders, where's Hodges?"

"I saw him a bit ago.  He may have went to hand someone a report."  He gave him the most sincere and earnest look he had.  "I'm sure he's fine, we got to him in time, long before that wacko could hurt him."

Ecklie walked in and shut the door.  "I know you've got a wand," he said bitterly.  "I know  you do things like Luna does."  Greg nodded, still looking like a young, nice guy.  "You do those things in here, don't you?"

"No.  I don't.  I do things in a way that can be admitted in court.  By the way, before you try blackmail, *everyone* on my shift knows.  I told Grissom first.  I made him taffy from a park bench.  I gave Brass bunny ears," he said smugly, moving closer.  "I don't do magic in my lab.  With two exceptions, one being one to save this lab's reputation and the other to protect the lab when someone came to attack me."  Ecklie winced at that.  "So, get out of my lab, before I have to have a talk with Luna about you.  Because trust me, Luna's one of my kids' favorite sitters.  We've known Ethan since before he ascended.  And if that's not good enough, I can always ask Alex Dumass to come in and politely do a dig here in Vegas, and find all sorts of shit about so many people that the town would collapse in ruin.  Because *we* made this town, not the mob."  He smiled sweetly.  "We financed the mob.  We told some of them where the town was.  We were hiding here first.  Now, if you don't mind, you're probably still shedding demonic cells from your last...prayer session and *my* lab is not going to be contaminated.  Please leave, before I have to start getting mean and dirty.  Remember, I'm a Bane.  It's in the blood."  Ecklie swallowed and left and Greg gripped the edge of his table, slowly mentally counting to a hundred backward in Russian.  "You didn't hear that," he said quietly, glancing back at the door.  "Don't worry about it, he's going to get his soon."

Hodges flew over to the other worktable and reappeared as a human.  "What do you have on him?"

Greg looked at him.  "Remember Luna Lovegood?"  He nodded after a moment, smirking.  "I'm sure you met Wes and Ethan then, right?"

"Yeah, but I don't remember very much being special about Ethan."

"Oh, he's demonic now," he said smugly, smirking at him.  "He likes certain people and wants to hit on Catherine but Luna gets upset whenever he thinks about her."

"Oooohkay."  He shook his head quickly.  "I didn't want that mental picture.  Do you think I can hide from Nick tonight?  I haven't gotten his latest stuff done yet."

"That's up to you, man.  Sometimes it's all a matter of perspective."

"Thanks, Greg, for covering, and for saving me," he said as he slid off the table and headed back to his lab.  He shut the doors and closed the blinds, like he hadn't come in yet, then practiced shrinking again.  It was kinda fun to fly around his lab.  He didn't know there were so many air currents in the place, he'd have to check into that to make sure nothing contaminated his samples.

Greg looked around then went back to animal form and hid under his table.  He needed a short break and he didn't want to be found either.

Warrick stuck his head in.  "I saw that."  Greg poked his head out so he could stick his tongue out, then pulled back into the shadows.  "Fine, you can have ten minutes.  What was up with Ecklie?"  He heard a snort and left it there.  It was probably something really mean and nasty that Greg was going to do to him anyway.   He knew Greg could get mean and nasty when he wanted to be.  He had asked Tipsy what a Slytherin was when he heard Greg was one.  It explained a lot about Greg.

Nick walked up the hall, looking into the DNA lab.  "No Greg?  I was going to take him with me tonight."

"His replacement's working days until they hire a new day person."  He glanced inside the lab, then shook his head.  "He was just there but I guess he had to pop out for some decent coffee or something."

"Man, not again.  He doesn't need that much coffee in a day."

"I heard that," Greg called as he reappeared, giving them a smug look.   "I didn't go out for coffee, I went to get some fresh air.  I have a headache.  I had to talk to Ecklie for a few minutes."

"Wanna head out, Greg?"

"Am I allowed?"

Nick looked at him.  "Good point. Let me check with Gris just in case, man.  That way you can see how all those neat samples get collected in the field."

"Do I need a spare pair of shoes?" he demanded.  Nick just laughed and walked off.  "That was a yes, wasn't it?" he asked Warrick, sounding resigned.  He got a nod in response.  "Wonderful," he said sarcastically.  "Got samples?"

"Not a bit, Greg, sorry.  Have fun in the dumpster though."

"Oh, yeah, wonderful fun."  He looked around his lab, finding a few samples that needed to be run sometime, but nothing critical or time sensitive.  "Aw, man," he complained.

"No, he can't go into the field," Grissom yelled down the hallway.  "I've got stuff coming in for him."

Greg looked up.  "Thank you," he whispered.  "No dumpster tonight please?"  He grinned as Nick walked past, shrugging.  "That's okay, some other time."

"Sure, Greg, make me do the nasty work."

"Hey, pull a cadet and give them training," he suggested.  He grinned at Grissom, rubbing his hands together.  "What do you have for me?"

He handed over a journal.  "You're not ready for that yet.  You owe me."

"More taffy?" he suggested with a grin.  "By the way, Ecklie's trying to blackmail me again.  I warned him I was going to whine to Luna."

"Wonderful.  What's Hodges doing?"

"Finding a new perspective on the world."  Grissom looked confused.  "Think about what happened, Gris."

"Oh!"  He nodded, walking that way, sticking his head carefully into Hodges's lab.  "As long as you don't ignore your work, I don't care if you try it out," he said quietly.  "Just don't ignore things."

"I'm not," Hodges said from behind the door.  "Greg?"

"Hiding.  Nick wanted him to do a dumpster job."

"Eww."

"Basically," Grissom said dryly.  "Having fun?"

"Actually, I am," he admitted, grinning at him.  "By the way, your sample fabric for the shroud is very complex, and it's not pure polyester either.  It's got some cotton and some silk threads here and there."  He handed over the report.  "I never would have noticed that under the scope."

"I'm glad.  Just remember not to ignore things and to eat.  I'm sure this takes some energy from you."

"Thanks, Grissom.  I didn't know you cared."

"Of course I do," he assured him.  "You're my trace guy.  We'd be doing a lot more work without you here."  He walked off, looking at his report.

"Well, that was almost gratitude," Hodges noted, going back to Nick's samples.  He'd need something to cheer him up when he got back. Dumpsters always made him pout.

***

Tipsy strolled up to the front desk of the station and grinned, leaning on it.  "Is Cat in?"

"Cat, ma'am?"

"Oooh, please don't ma'am me, child," she said in her most regal accent.  "I'm a Tipsy, not a ma'am."

"Oh, then you must want Catherine Willows.  She is in, but she's in the lab.  I could have her paged if you want."

"Please, dear.  I'll go sit over there?" she asked, pointing at a bench.  That got a nod and a grin as the woman picked up the phone.  Tipsy strolled over to sit down, smiling as Brass backtracked to look at her.  "Friendly news, detective, nothing tragic this time."

"That's fine.  Who were you going to see?"

"Cat.  They're paging her for me."

"Oh, okay.  Nothing big and bad, right?"  She shook her head.  "Promise?"

"I promise and swear on my wand, detective," she said with a bright smile.  "Actually it's my birthday and my boys got me a very good present and I wanted to know if Lindsey was coming over for spring break this year."

"Oh, that's good.  Happy birthday."  He walked off, smiling a bit.  It wasn't an emergency.  He ran into Catherine.  "It's Tipsy."

"Thanks.  What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Catherine walked into the waiting area.  "Nothing's wrong?"

"I wanted to brag on my birthday present, invite Lindsey over for spring break so we could totally corrupt her and maybe get her to date Percy, and so we could get her to distribute for us at her school."

"I'm so glad you guys sell pranks," she said dryly, giving her a hug. "What did your boys get you?"

"A weekend in Canada," she said smugly.  She beamed at her.  "Just the three of us with Ginny minding the store. Oh, Luna just called," she said, blinking a bit.  "She said she's not jealous that Ethan likes you but she won't let him hit on you again, and to please leave her pookie stallion's toy alone.  He's got a bad enough mind without Greg messing with it."  She shook her head.  "I don't have a clue what that's about but she just gave Sev a massive headache since she was in Potions."

"I'll pass that back," she promised.  "When is spring break?"

"Up there?  According to what we heard when we called her, he said mid-march.  She'll get a week.  We wanted a few days to finish corrupting her to our side."

"No, she's mine," Greg called as he strolled in, giving her a hug, whispering in her ear.

"Eww!"

"My feelings exactly, that's why I was defending myself and I'll leave it there as long as he does," he promised smugly.  He pulled back, looking her over.  "I'll be nice if you will and bring us a new catalog."  She handed them over with a wink.  "Thanks, dear.  I've got to find certain overlords a birthday present."

"Page eighty-six," she said promptly.  "Of the special catalog."  He opened it to that page and burst out giggling before hugging her and hurrying back to his lab.  She looked at Catherine.  "I love doing that.  He laughs so cutely."

"He does," she agreed dryly.  "So, you really want to teach Lindsey?"

"We thinks she's got the evil mind to work in the business, but we agree she'll never be one of the great ones.  She'll definitely sell well though."

"I'd like some of her time too but you can have her come over for a day and an overnight," she offered.

"We can accept that.  Thanks, dear."  She kissed her on the cheek and handed her something.  "Here, to mimic blood spray when you need it.  That way you don't have to suck someone dry."  She winked and strolled out, heading for a dark corner to apparate home.

Catherine looked at the innocuous ball then stuck it in her pocket.  She headed back to Greg's lab.  "I want those catalogs when you're done with them," she called as she walked past there.  They landed on her head a moment later.  "Thanks, Greg."

"Welcome.  I already put in an order.  They're putting in multiple order forms now."

"Good!  They probably need them," she agreed, taking them to look over.  Grissom gave her an odd look so she handed over the ball.  "To mimic blood splatter."

"Oh, good, I could use this," he said happily, walking off to use it right then.  "Are they expensive?"

She looked in the catalog's index, finding the right page.  "Nope, few bucks each."

"Much cheaper than blood then," he said, sounding pleased.  "Can it be used to feed blood eating things?"

"No, that's a different ball," Catherine told him, heading to her garage to get back to work.  "New catalog from Tipsy and her boys."

Warrick gave her a horrified look. "Please don't do that to me.  To Nick or Greg, but not to me."

She grinned at him.  "They want Lindsey to come work for them."

"If she does, warn me, okay?" he asked, going back to his trunk examination.  "That way I can hide from the girl."

"Sure, Warrick, I'll tell her not to prank you too often.  She'll just have to get Nick, a lot."

Warrick looked around the trunk at her.  "Are you picking up on Greg's evil mood?"

"Yup, sure am," she said smugly.  She got to work looking for her samples in the front seat.  "Ooooh.  Semen.  Lots and lots of semen," she reported after a minute.  "I guess he takes the minute-man approach to outdoor life."

Warrick snickered, shaking his head.  "That's so bad.  But at least Greg will have something to do."

"Oooh, yeah.   Um, was our guy...gay?  There's way too much semen that looks really fresh."

Warrick came up to look at it.  "Looks like he had a long, dry spell.  Have fun scooping all that up."

"Eww."

"Hey, consider Greg's job," he said smugly.

"Yeah, better you than me," she said dryly.

"Not a chance.  The only semen I see is my own."  He went back to the trunk.

"You mean you never even tried it in college?"

"My grandmother would have killed me," he said patiently.  "Besides, not my thing.  I like the ladies.  Give me a lady any day."

"Fine."  She got to work scooping up the samples, marking the diagram of where she had gotten it from.  "It's under the seat.  How did he do that?"

"Rebound."

"It doesn't do that.  It's not made of plastic," she complained.

"Liquids can rebound."

"If you say so."  She scooped up more, tucking it carefully away in it's own sample jar.  She put that one aside and grabbed another scraper stick to gather more.  "This is really disgusting.  He's not even a teenager."

"Some guys never grow up," Warrick said patiently.  "Found some blood."

"At least it's not semen."

"No, it's not.  Definitely not."  He ran a swab over it to test it.  "Yup, blood."  He cut out the small sample and tucked it into an envelope for Greg too.

By the time Catherine was done she needed a small tray for all the bottles.  She carried them carefully into Greg's lab.  "Greg?"  He appeared from underneath the desk, looking up at her.  "Cute.  Got a bad one for you."  He rehumaned himself and gave her an interested look.  "Okay, this is the diagram of the front seat.  Around, under, over, the roof, on the gear shift, ex cetera.  This is Warrick's blood from the trunk," she said, handing that over.  "Is there more than one sprayer in mine and who does the blood belong to."

He looked at the number of bottles and how full they were, then at her diagram. "You've got to be kidding me.  I couldn't do that when I was sixteen in the dorms and had Emilia curled up next to me due to nightmares."

"Warrick seems to think it's teenage behavior and this guy never grew up.  He's nearly forty."

"Okay, so how many gay encounters has he had?"

"He swears he's straight.  Warrick said his grandmother would have minded," she joked.

Greg snickered. "Yeah, I can see that about him.  How about this guy?"

"He swears he's straight too," she admitted, pushing the tray closer to him.  "Sorry about this."

"Not an issue.  I can easily suck up some and process without getting nasty.  Did you have fun?"

"No, I'm going to go puke up breakfast."  She walked out, going to get a new soda so she could clear her head of all thoughts.  She ran into Nick in the hallway outside the garage.  "You should have had this car, Nick.  That's more semen than I've ever seen before, even the one time I ended up dragging Eddie from the cheap whorehouse."

He gave her a look as she walked past him.  "That bad?" he asked the empty hallway.  He went to check on Greg.  "You missed some fun."

"No, I got some fun of my own," he promised, handing over a piece of paper.

"Whoa, what's that?" Nick asked, pointing at the tray.

"Cat's samples from the front seat."

"No wonder.  I haven't seen that much since the showers after the winning homecoming game in high school."  He walked out shaking his head.

"Maybe I was missing something in school," Greg sighed.  "We never had fun like that after a good game."

***

David, the assistant coroner, ran into Nick later that night.  "What are you doing back here already!" he demanded, looking upset with him.  "You're supposed to be on medial leave!"

Nick gave him the kicked puppy look that had worked on Grissom.  "I'm going to go insane without anything to do for six weeks," he complained. "I'm only coming in part time between treatments.  Not the day of or the day after.  I spent the first day of and day after on Greg's couch."

"He didn't let you have a bed?"

"No, I flopped down there and fell asleep," he admitted. "Emilia just covered me up."  He shrugged a bit.  "I'm being good. The doctors said I could come in between treatments and as long as I went home if I was starting to feel sick or tired I'd be fine."

"She put you on antibiotics?" he demanded, tapping a foot.

"Two, really.  That way I couldn't catch anything off anybody."

"Fine."  He was still frowning.  "I still don't like it. Your immune system will be weakened here in a few weeks.  I want you to take it easy or else I'm going to report you to Doc Robbins.  Do you understand me, Nick?"  He nodded, hurrying off.  He frowned at his back.  "That's not a good thing.  He'll ignore his treatments for something."

"He won't," Doc Robbins assured him as he came out.  "He knows better and Nick's not one for denial.  Besides, with two antibiotics, he could probably even withstand Greg's annual cold that's due soon."

"I'd forgotten that was coming up soon. I need to stock up on medicine for then."  He walked off, shaking his head.  He'd never let a patient doing treatments, even laser treatments, back-to-back come back to work in this department until they had been cleared.  You never knew what you could pick up from a dead body.  He paused, looking at Greg look at a sample with disgust. "What is that?"

"Don't ask," he said, shaking his head.  "Just don't ask.  Catherine found it.  It's animal."  He ran another sample through and then tucked it away.  He didn't want to think about that.  He'd have nightmares.

***

Alex walked up the last few feet of the pathway, looking at the demon. "Hey."

"I can't let you in," it said tiredly.

Xander moved closer, leaning against the wall beside where it was stuck.  "You know, they've all moved on.  I can tell spirits and there's none here."  The demon frowned at him.  "I know, my mom's in Vengeance.  This has got to be the suckiest job on the planet.  You're stuck here in the middle of nowhere, on a hidden pathway, in an empty city that is holding you hostage.  I feel for you, man, that's why I came to release your bonds."

"You're not going to try to kill me?"

"Why?  For doing your job?  You haven't shown yourself to be only aggressive.  You're obviously at least somewhat intelligent and you haven't attacked yet.  I don't attack thinking beings unless they attack me."

"What about the city?" he asked miserably.  "I'm supposed to watch it."

"Yeah, but what are you watching?  There's no one here.  No spirits, no ghosts, nothing.  All there is is an empty city that we can learn from again.  Which is what I want to do.  I want to raid the library, copy any and all scrolls or books, and then I want to learn from them.  I'm even teaching others how to learn from the Ancients now."

"Who are you?" he asked quietly.

"Alexander Dumass.  Cursebreaker."

"The Demon Killer of Cairo."

"At one time," he admitted.  "Then again, they attacked me.  You're not."  He winked and grinned.  "I'm decent to those I like."

"I still can't let you in."

"Yeah, but I can release you before you could kill me."

"You can't.  The spell's bound my body."

"Hmmm.  Not quite," Alex said confidently.  "Let me step ten feet inside?"  The demon looked hesitant.  "I'll be within quick grabbing distance the whole time."

"Fine.  I guess it can't hurt since they're all gone now."  He watched as the wizard walked inside and knelt down on a spot, watching as he said something and cast a charm into the ground.   He felt the bond tighten and groaned, grabbing his middle, then it suddenly snapped and he heard a crash.  "What?" he had time to ask before he faded out, heading back to his native realm.  He looked around at the long-missed architecture and grinned.  "I'm home!  He did it!  He released me!"  He grabbed the first demon he saw to hug and kiss on the cheek then went running for his master to report what had happened.  He had been gone a long time, the old apprentice was now the master and he had nearly forgotten him.

Alex stood up and dusted off his knees, checking the demon's former anchor to make sure it was fully closed.  He didn't want the poor guy being pulled back and having to deal with Ron.  No one deserved a grumpy, sexless Ron.  Especially not them.  He finally looked around their town, smiling in accomplishment.  "Oi, Bill, it's clear," he yelled.  Bill was only a mile or so away with the pack animals.  "It's intact too!"  He went to stroll along the main street, looking at the buildings and the wells.  He found a fertility well and drew a big red line around it, just in case Ron didn't listen this time either. Then again, if Ron didn't quit acting so stupid on occasion, he might just polyjuice him into Dawn, push him into the well, then let her polyjuice herself into Severus or Dumbledore or someone to try him out.  "That's a good idea.  I'll have to share that one," he said smugly, heading off to look at more things.  It really was like the people had just stepped out of the village for a few hours and would be right back.   There were even some plants growing in a few gardens.  Wild now, but they were growing well.  One was a well-known trap but it was still a heartening sight.  Bill finally panted through the gateway with their mules and stopped to stare.  "Neat, huh?" he asked smugly. "I released the demon, sent him home.  Pull the mules this way and they can park in the central square."

"Sure, Alex," he said, still staring in awe at what had to be a public building.  "Is that the library?"

"No, that's the main temple.  It has a library, I can feel the magical books in there," he offered.  "The library's in the mountainside," he said, pointing at the end of the road he was on.  Bill smirked at him. "All ours with the students for four months."

"Good!  I could use some new reading material," Bill said smugly.  "How long before the twits get here?"

"Two days.  They're spending a dinner and a shower at home then coming back here.  They'll have to come up the path too.  So an overnight camping then getting up here."

"Wonderful!" Bill agreed happily.  "Then we can mark all the traps and make them find them again.  It'll be good practice for Ron, he's being stupid again."

"It's the lack of sex."

"Then I'm sure Dawn must be driving someone up a wall."

"Actually, Luna's doing worse.  She accidentally sent herself to Greg's while summoning two imps and an incubus into the school.  Professor Armwrench was rolling around for hours from what Severus said," he noted happily.

Bill looked stunned. "Now there's a Bane, mate."  He shook his head and drug the mules to where they'd be setting up, letting them lounge in the shade for now.  They'd put up the tents later, once they got done exploring.  Though he was nice enough to pull up some water for them and take their packs off their backs.  He followed Alex toward the library, just needing a peek for now.  That'd tell him how many years of reading he had in front of him.  Maybe he'd even tell Charlie about some of them this time.  He'd been complaining about boredom.

MINE!!

Catherine walked into the station waving a letter.  "It's from the daughter."

"And what news does Lindsey have?" Greg asked with a grin for her.  He was sponsoring her into Canada's magic academy and her grades were looking very good.  He was very pleased with his student.  "New pranks learned?  New flying moves perhaps?"

"No, but new boyfriend," she said dryly.  "He's in the next year up, in her house, and he helps her study a lot.  He's even taken her on some long walks around the grounds, with a chaperone because he said she was too young to be out without one."  She grinned at him.  "He sounds nice and I'll be getting a letter from him soon she said."

"Good," Greg agreed, grinning, but she could tell his mind was running in circles.

"Something we should know about dating wizards?" she asked patiently.

"Well, kinda," he admitted.  "Um, I was really hoping Emilia would cover this stuff, but then I realized her magic isn't exactly the standard wizarding stuff and she didn't have a clue what I was talking about."  He grimaced and shrugged.  "Go ahead and shut the door."

"Is this something really bad?"

"No, but we've got to talk about wizarding sex."  She raised an eyebrow.  "There's a few things that aren't quite...standard about us, especially the first time.  Um, our first real orgasm creates more magic than most explosions.  Which is how unnoticed wizards and witches get found more often than not," he admitted.   He sat her down on his stool.  "See, magic, well, think of it like the Jedi's Force.  It's everywhere, and usually the magic is called more strongly by strong emotions.  As the Wiccans who have skills have proved time and again."  Catherine nodded slowly.  "Now think about your first time."

"Oh, shit," she said quietly, holding her head.  "What's going to happen?"

"Usually, as long as they're gentle, just a magical spike.  Emilia had the worst we had ever seen in Slytherin.  Her first self-given one created a tree."

"A tree?" she asked.

"Well, she is a creative force," he said dryly, smirking at her.  "But yeah, a tree.  In the middle of the common room, big, huge tree, kept us from getting out to dinner.  Sev came looking for us when he realized only three students had made it to dinner."  The door opened and Grissom stuck his head in. "Give us five, we're talking about wizarding facts of life."

"Oh, okay."  He shut the door, but came inside to listen.

"Grissom," she complained.

"It's fascinating.  What's this about a tree?"

"Our first time," Greg said, looking over, then shifting so he could see them both.  "Creates a magical spike.  That's how we often find the unnoticed ones.  Or the abused ones," he said grimly.  "I found one of those myself a few years back."  Grissom nodded, accepting that.  "Emilia's not exactly got the normal wizarding structure of power.  She created a tree during her first self-given moment of pleasure."   He looked at Catherine.  "So that's two times, and we can use our wands for that part," he warned. "It's pretty normal to try it now and then."

"Oookkkkaaaayyy," she drew out.  "Sorta like a toy?"

"More like creating the feelings without needing to spend thirty or fifty bucks on the toy," he said with a smirk.  "There's spells for that too.  The guy who patented the main few and the cockring spell made millions back in Victorian times.  In today's money."  She shivered at that and he nodded.  "There's also something called a power orgasm.  That's when his power and her power combine."  He gave her a sweet smile.  "That's what created the explosion when Emilia and I first got together.  It created the listening spell actually.  Alex can't have those with Draco, he makes sure it doesn't happen after the last one destroyed a small island."

"Destroyed an island?" Grissom asked.  "Why?"

"Because that's basically an emotional surge as the two magics touched.  He took his first sweetie, the one who died long time ago, and took her away to try it.  Good thing, otherwise the house never would have stood.   It's recorded in the books as one of the most powerful spikes ever recorded.  That's how they knew he was going to go into curse breaking.  They couldn't let him go into any other field with how powerful he was."  He grinned at Catherine, blushing a bit.  "There doesn't have to be actual sex involved in that one either.  They can be holding hands. Emilia and I were kissing.  Alex and his girl were groping, he admitted such in the records.  But it will happen sometime.  Most of the schools will put in lodestones to suck up the excess energy horniness creates in the dorm rooms.  I know Lindsey's does because I asked."  She nodded once at that.  "Otherwise, things can and will happen.  If you don't guard against it, it's most often a...creative force, and I'm not talkin' about those people with muses either."

"So, you get a lot of teen pregnancies?" Grissom asked.

"No, and that's why we have the lodestones, to keep them down.  Almost every single teen witch pregnancy is from something like this.  I'll be finding Lindsey one to wear around her neck.  It's much more common when you first hit love's flush of desire."

"Her first crush," the mother said grimly.  Greg nodded.  "This guy?"

"If he's from a wizarding family, he knows.  I'd guess that's why he's taking the chaperone."  She smiled and sighed a bit at that.  "So it sounds like he understands, but you've got an additional topic to tell Lindsey about."

"Oh, yeah.  There'll be no grandkids until she's thirty," she said dryly, standing up.  "Lodestones?"

"Yeah, and we can't get one here.  I can take you to Diagon and get you one.  The local store doesn't carry them for some reason and Chicago's doesn't either.  I checked."  She patted him on the face.  "It's an older theory that stated I'm paying her way through school so she gets a proper education to tend my family," he said dryly, grimacing a bit.  "Chicago still lives in that era now and then."

"Ah."  She nodded.  "You're not, right?"  He pinched her, making her yelp.  "Sorry, Greg," she offered, kissing him on the cheek.  "I know Emilia is more than you can handle most days."

"You got that right," he said dryly, shrugging a bit but grinning.   "So the next time we're both free, we can go visit Tipsy and the twins and get her a lodestone necklace or earrings.  They're the most practical version of those."

"Then I get to tell her why I'm welding them to her body," she said dryly, shaking her head.  "Should I worry?"

"Nah, sounds like he's being careful and the school has precautions, I know they do."

"Good.  Then how did Emilia get past hers?"

"The upperclassmen two years before Sev dismantled ours for a spell.  One of them needed an heir very quickly and the lodestones hold much power."  Grissom chuckled at that.  "I'm serious.  He had triplets."  He shrugged and grinned at them.  "So, we only have to watch out for her first real time, making sure he's careful, she's careful, and that she's wearing a lodestone, because that'll keep the power spike down.  The other kids will know if she's at school.  It's as big a sign to us as coming in rumpled and half-dressed is.  The sad thing is, it doesn't matter how into it she was, it'll still happen the first time she gets off," he said, staring her down.  The mother in Catherine nodded at that subtle message, she understood what he was trying to say.  "So, add that to your next girl talk and hopefully we can find her a pendant quickly.  That way it'll contain a lot of power, just in case."

"Do you keep records of these things?" Grissom asked.

"Formal records of the strong ones," Greg admitted, looking a bit sheepish now.  "Maybe one out of every thirty kids gets on that scroll in Hogwarts.  Tipsy sure did.  Her first time and her first power orgasm happened near the same time.  First the breakfast bowls of oatmeal danced and then they started a huge food fight."

"You can have more than one?" Catherine asked.

"Yeah, it's just that the first is the most powerful usually.  The exception is if the first isn't done in lust and then one is with your 'one, true, soulmate' sort of person.  Then it can get a bit more dramatic."  He grimaced.  "Sev had his whole apartment warded so no one knew whether or not he and Holly had one.  The twins first time with Tipsy made it onto the scroll too from what I hear.  Or so Philip said," he added with a grin.

Catherine shook her head.  "Okay.  I'll write Lindsey back tonight and say I'd like to meet this boy by this summer if they're still together then.  I'll put in something about having to talk about wizarding sex and the like.  Do I still have to have the STD talk?"  Greg nodded. "The full one?"  He nodded again, crossing his arms over his chest.  "What about the HIV talk?"  He nodded again.  "Anything else I should know?"

"Broom flying is usually done double unless you're very good and can do what Alex and Draco or Dawn and Ron can do and match paths, then it's like dragons mating.  So if she makes dirty jokes about quidditch or brooms, she's had it that way," he said dryly.   The mother groaned and walked off, shaking her head and going to write that letter now.  She really wanted to talk to her daughter soon.  Maybe she'd call her cell tonight to see if it was working again.  Greg looked over at Grissom.  "Got samples?" he asked hopefully.  "Or just lurking?"

"Just lurking.  Is Hodges in or is he hiding?"

"I saw him earlier but he left early.  He basically stomped out at dinner."

"That's fine.  I understand why.  Are you okay?  Is Ecklie bothering you too much?"

"Well, yeah, but we're good," he said dryly.  "It's not gonna happen.  Besides, I can always go to England to get a job over there as a potions researcher and that'll make sure my kids get to Hogwarts."

"Point," he agreed, nodding.  He saw Nick walking up the hall slowly.  "It's a treatment day, you're not supposed to be here," he said firmly, going to stop him from coming in any further."

"I'm going out of my mind, Gris.  Please?" he begged.

Greg grabbed something and went to hand it to him.  "Here, go proofread for me," he said firmly.  "It'll be a big help, it'll be scientific, and it'll help you sleep since potions isn't your field."  He grinned. "Or you could go get Emilia to get the sex ed book for Cat."

"Eeehhh, no thanks," he said grimly, looking at the book.  "What is this?"

"Potions," he said with a grin.  "Shoo.  Before you get sick and they have to go on *longer*."  Nick gave him a horrified look.  "If you get sick, they can't do your treatments."

"Oh, man," he complained, but he did go back to his car and he did go home, taking Greg's new book with him.  At least it'd give him something to do.  He noticed after the first page that things were spelled funny but then he realized it was British spelling so he didn't mark them.  It was kinda interesting though.  It outlined the links between three potions and how you could combine them to do various things, like healing or killing someone.  He hadn't known those two were so intimately entwined but it was very enlightening.

Greg beamed at Grissom.  "Field work?"

"The day shift person will be in next week, Greg, then you can go out in the field for more training," Grissom reminded him, heading back to his office.

Warrick stuck his head out of another lab.  "You're writing a book?"

"It's for my Mastery.  To keep it up, I have to produce something qualifiable every ten years.  So that's my reupdating one."  He waved a hand around then snapped his fingers.  "Should be a cinch."  He headed back to his lab.  "I'm bored with nothing to do," he yelled before walking in.

"I can solve that," Sarah yelled back, heading his way with a whole tray of samples.

Warrick shook his head, waving her on.  He hadn't known that about Greg but it was very interesting.  He should probably get a copy of that book when it was finished so he could read it over.  It had to be somewhat scientific to qualify.

***

Emilia looked up as Catherine walked out to join her on the back porch, bringing Cassandra out hugging her.  "Was she fussing?"

"No, I'm having mommy flashbacks," she said miserably.  "Greg told me about wizarding sex."

"Huh?"

"He said something about you and a tree?" she offered.

"Oh, that stuff.  Yeah, Tipsy made a big deal of it too.  I didn't have that many problems."

"He said that was because you weren't the average witch," she said dryly.  "Said something about brooms too."

"That's like having sex on a motorcycle while it's moving."

"Ah."  She nodded, hugging the baby closer.  "I miss having one this age."

"Yeah, well, you can steal her all you want," she offered with a grin.  "What's he looking for now?"

"A lodestone for my daughter."

"Good idea.  She got a boyfriend?"  Catherine handed over the letter so she read it.  "Good choice.  I know his family.  They're from the Middle East, but very liberal.  The last I knew, they had moved to Boston but Salem doesn't like taking foreign students."  She handed it back with a grin.  "You could always have another one."

"I'd rather have the full package before I start thinking about that," she complained. "I'm not even dating anyone."

"Good point, but there's another option, especially at the moment.  Some people have massive families that want a grandkid and the son won't cooperate."

"Surrogating?"

"No, more having one with someone like Draco or Alex, and you'd get a very supportive family in addition to them now and then."

"So, no father, but grandmothers and everyone?" she said sarcastically.  Emilia nodded, smirking at her.  "That's a bad idea."

"Not really. It's actually pretty workable.  The older, more powerful families usually do it for gay sons or daughters.  Usually sons and infertile daughters really.  It can be done by potion or spell or the practical way.  Everyone gets what they want.  The father doesn't have to be a daddy, but the grandparents, aunts, uncles, and assorted cousins get someone new to coo over and protect.  The family name gets carried on.  The mother gets a child she's been wanting for a while.  The last few I heard of had support agreements with custody switches and babysitting built in.  It's like splitting the kids after a divorce, only without the marriage and no recriminations about whose fault it was."  She gave her a long look.  "I know Alex needs an heir and his aunts are getting pushy.  That's why he's spending the next year in a desert.  I know Draco needs one and again, Alex's aunts are getting pushy and so is his mother," she said dryly, smirking at her.  "Then again, so is Mrs. Weasley.  She's got Charlie, Bill, and Ron to deal with that way most likely.  And the best thing is that if they do get married some day, the stepmom will almost always welcome the kids because kids are precious to us."  She leaned closer.  "By the way, you missed it. Hermione finally caught up with Philip again and grabbed him to kiss him stupid.  Right in the middle of Diagon," she finished with a wink and a smirk.  "He came home *bright* red and running for cover."

Catherine snickered at that.  "That is cute."  She nuzzled the baby's hair, waking her a bit.  "Sorry, princess, go back to sleepies," she whispered in the soft hair.  Cassandra snorted and wiggled until she was against her shoulder, then went back to sleep once she had her little fist curled in Catherine's hair to suck her thumb with it.  "I miss these times, but with work, it'd be a pain.  Going to college was bad enough.  I can't imagine going to work this way."

"Eh, Vegas provides daycare now and then for younger kids.  Greg and I had to use it a few times.  Besides, it'll give my kids someone else to pick on."  Catherine snorted and relaxed, shaking her head.  "Think about it, Catherine.  You're under no obligation to be with the fathers."

"Yeah, but that's the bad part.  Part of the good part of pregnancy is sharing it with someone you like and having them there to fetch, carry, and give backrubs."

"True, but I'll let you borrow Greg for that.  Plus, you've got how many guys on your shift that'd coo over your belly the way they did mine?  Even Brass cooed over my stomach, though he'd disagree if you asked him."  She gave her a long look.  "Think about it.  Talk with Lindsey when you talk to her again."  She gave her a light nudge.  "Think about how much fun a baby Alex would give Grissom and Sarah."

Catherine snickered at that, swatting her friend gently.  "That's bad."

"Well, yeah.  Wanna bring her in tonight? Let her daddy teach her more lab stuff?"

"He's busy tonight.  Sarah found a bunch of nasty stuff in a car that she needed tested.  Why?  Did you need the night off?"

"Well, technically, I have to work with my protege again.  She's got some troubles and needed a counselor.  The boys are sleeping but she'll be up long before daddy gets home and my student gets hives from kids.  She hissed at her the other day and I had to restrain her for a good thirty minutes."

"Sure, I'll bring her back with me," she promised.  She stood up.  "Thanks, Emilia."

"Just give it some thought.  Remember the two am feedings and the three am diaper changes, then the four am feeding and the five am diaper change.  Remember the rug burns, the diarrhea, the vomiting, the fevers, all that fun stuff," she said patiently.  "Then make your decision.  You might not meet Narcissa's requirements, but for Alex you probably would."

"Sure.  Thanks.  Diaper bag?"

"Beside the door.  I was going to bring her to Greg in a bit, when she woke up."

"Sure.  Thanks."  She grabbed the diaper bag on the way out, heading out to take the carseat too.  She was still small enough to need one.  They headed back to the station and she stopped to grab her messages at the desk, finding someone standing there.  "Hey, Brass."

"Is that baby Greg?"

"Yup, baby Greg.  Emilia has her student in for some emergency counseling and she hissed at this one last time.  She doesn't like kids."

"Wonderful.  Sanders is in the field.  There was a multiple."

"Why wasn't I paged?"

"Grissom took him."  He shrugged and got her messages, tucking them into her purse.  "There you go."

"Thanks.  We'll be back that way while I'm babysitting.  I'll page Greg and let him know."

"Sure.  Are you okay?  You look worried."

"Emilia didn't sound too fond of her student and it's nothing.  Empty nest," she said grimly.  "Lindsey's got her first boyfriend at school.  They're going on long walks with a chaperone."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "I remember that stage.  My wife wanted a second one too, but I refused to change another diaper until I retired."

Catherine nodded. "I said the same thing, but Emilia wants me to surrogate and have one for Alex.  That way I wouldn't have the daddy, but I'd have supporting relatives barging in all the time to help."

He snickered. "I'm sure you would.  Some of his aunts are more fierce than I am."  Cassandra yawned and blinked at him. "Hi, 'San."  He smoothed down her hair.  "You're in cute jammies tonight."

"Why?"

"Because your mommy had to meet with her student.  Daddy will be back soon," Catherine assured her.  She looked up at her, blinking a few times.  "It's all right, I'm going to watch you."  That got a smile and a sleepy kiss to the cheek.  "Come on, we'll go page your daddy for you."  She smiled at Brass.  "See ya later."  She headed back to the breakroom, going to make that call while Cassandra laid on the couch to finish her rest.  That let her get some stuff done while she checked on her all the time.

Hodges walked in and looked at the child, then snorted.  "Baby Greg is back.  Why?"

"Mean lady comed," Cassandra said quietly, blinking up at him.  "I see wings."

"Gee, thanks.  How?"

She grinned. "I'm good.  Daddy said so."

"I'm sure you try," he said patiently.  "Who's watching you?"

"Auntie Kitty."

He snorted at that nickname, it almost made him grin a bit.  He went to tell her that the child was up.  "Hey, Auntie Kitty, Baby Greg is up," he said from the doorway to the garage she was working in.

"Thanks.  Think she'll go back to sleep?"

"You ask like I know a thing about children," he said dryly, heading back to his Trace lab.  He checked the breakroom and found it empty.  Then he groaned.  "She's escaped," he yelled.

Catherine came running out, going to find the little girl.  She found her in the bathroom, doing what big girls did.  "That is so good!  Does your mommy know you do that!" she asked, grinning at her.  "You deserve a treat."  Cassandra blushed a bit, but finished up and let her auntie clean her up and help her wash her hands, then accepted her candy bar and the cartoon channel in the lounge for her treat.  Then Catherine went to make another call to Greg's pager, leaving that message, and headed back to do a bit more work for a few minutes.

***

Greg looked at his pager, then at Grissom.  "My daughter is partially potty trained," he said proudly.  "Catherine said she woke up and went all by herself."

"Congratulations, Greg.  Good luck training the other two," Grissom said fondly, smirking at him.  "Boys are supposed to be harder."

"Nah, I'll teach 'em how to pee off the back porch like Nick did that time he was drunk."  The cops around them stared at him.  "What?  It was his last birthday party."  They just nodded, they had heard about that one.  Grissom gave him a look.  "At least it wasn't in the pool.  Just in my neighbor's roses."  He marked another shell casing and took a picture of it.    He heard a siren and looked behind him.  "Suits," he called quietly, getting Grissom's attention.

"Wonderful," he muttered, going back to examining the bodies.  He pulled off a few hairs he thought could be lost in transit and bagged them.  One of the FBI agents, as noted by his badge and the ID he was holding as he came over to bother him, coughed to get his attention.  "You're in my light."

"Where is one of your CSI techs, Saunders?" the agent asked quietly.

"I'm right here, and I can hear you just fine," Greg said in a sing-song voice.  "You're still in his and my light."

"Mr. Saunders," the agent said, carefully walking that way. Greg growled at him and he backed off, watching as he took some pictures.  "We need to talk.  Someone has leveled some fairly strong allegations against you."

"They can eat shit and die," he said, glaring up at him.  "Let me guess, the former DNA tech who messed up or the former CSI field guy who went and broke into my house?"

"Uh," his partner said, carefully standing out of the way.  "The first I believe.  His background check didn't say anything about DNA jobs."  Greg glanced at him.  "If we could have you for a few minutes?  We could probably clear this up right away."

"You can wait until I'm done," he said patiently.  "I'm still learning in the field.  You had better not have stepped in blood," he told the first one.  "That'll only muddy the crime scene."

"I was very careful not to, sir.  They sent us because we do work in the field quite often."

"Go ahead, Greg," Grissom said.  "That way they can go home."

"Yes, sir."  He handed his camera over and led the way out of the crime scene and over to their car, hopping up to sit on the hood and look at them.  "Okay.  I'm supposing you want to know what happened?"  They nodded.  "Someone broke into my house.  Now, I'm a night shift guy.  Always have been.  One of the day guys took the case even though we were coming in and it should have been ours.  You see, I went to school with a student once...."

"Where?"

"Scotland.  Private religious institution."  He looked at the other one.  "There's someone who was here a few months back who knows where I went."  He looked at the first one again.  "Anyway, my friend's parents owned a gold mine or three, something like that."  He shrugged.  "He's from Africa."  They both winced.  "His parents died while we were in school and I'm sure you know about corrupt governments who're greedy and take more than their fare share in taxes?"  They both nodded.  "I was on scholarship.  I gave him some of my scholarship so they could restart operations so he could pay off people.  He promised me ten percent profits for three years in return.  We drew up some kiddy contract on the back of a homework assignment.  I didn't expect to get anything but I went back for a reunion to celebrate the Headmaster's tenure.  He found me and started to pay me.  The CSI guy got pissed.  I reported it to Internal Affairs.  I reported it to my shift supervisor and the detective who I trusted to guide my next actions.  Then I had the help of another CSI to change it over since he kinda sent the first bit in lumps."  They both winced at that and he shrugged.  "He wasn't sure what he should do, I asked about protocol once I brought it back.  I had no idea what I was doing, that's why I went to the detective and asked his opinion and asked him to get me someone to talk to in Internal Affairs about this.  He did.  We talked to them, they made a report, I told them my goals of buying a really big house so all my school friends could come visit," he admitted with a grin.

"The break-in was how long after that, sir?"

"Um, few months," he said with a small shrug.  "Not related to it, but the CSI who took the case had a grudge.  He went into my personal research lab.  He went in without gloves.  He screwed with stuff I was working on without gloves, and walked it into the station the same way saying it was radioactive."  They both hissed.  "Which was tested immediately by one of my coworkers.  She found it wasn't radiating, and it shouldn't have been since it's a purification source.  He carried it in with fingerprints."  They gaped.  "I called him on it.  I threw a fit," he said plainly.  "I threw a fit because he had disturbed my research, he could have been poisoned because he didn't know what was in my lab and it was clearly marked as having hazardous materials in there.  I'm working on a new herbal painkiller."  They nodded in unison.  "Do they train you to do that in the academy?"  Grissom coughed.  "Sorry," he said sheepishly, grinning at them.  "I'm fairly easy to get along with, but when you ruin my research, dirty the case of whoever had broken into my house, and then threaten me and my wife?  You're not going to walk over me.  I threw a fit.  He got fired for his actions at that scene."

"He was," Grissom agreed as he walked over.  "The Sheriff, the day shift supervisor, and myself all talked to him over the next four days.  He had broken protocol so severely that he was endangering the reputation of the lab, untold cases he had worked on, and his coworkers since he thought that stone was radioactive and still carried it into the station by hand."  One of them let out a moan and shook his head, his eyes closed.  "So we did fire him after giving him an accurate job description and reviews.  We're just really happy Greg didn't sue us for it."

"I can understand that," the more polite of the two agents noted quietly. "We were told he was actually making or melting down the gold and then selling it as found or recovered."

"Eh, no," Greg said, shaking his head.  "I file paperwork."

"It's missing the name of the mine, sir."

"I figured that had to come from him," he said with a small shrug. "I don't know which one he got it from.  I'm assuming the one in Africa.  I'm doing everything I can as legally as I can.  I even pay taxes on it.  Heavy taxes on it."

"You have, and we appreciate that, sir."

The other nodded.  "We appreciate you doing everything you could to keep this all legal."  He smiled.  "Though we did do a trace sample analysis on the gold that was attributed to your first sale.  It doesn't match any mine on our files."

"Then again, do you have all the mines in Africa on file?" Greg asked.  They both shook their heads.  "Just the major ones?"  They nodded and sighed.  "So that's suspicious.  I admit it looks odd.  The account is probably being given a look like I did when I had a former pet shove my alarm clock into the toilet back in my Masters and internship."

"How?" Grissom asked.

"I had a cat and no a/c one summer," he said bitterly.  "I did a lot of sleeping in the tub.  The alarm was on the back of the toilet.  Cat wanted that space, knocked it off when it walked around it, it landed in the toilet.  Made me ten minutes late for a final exam.  The professor wouldn't give me the extra time but I didn't really need it."  He shrugged and looked at the guys again.  "What do you think I did?  Make it in my lab?"

"No, sir, that's a physical impossibility," one of them offered.

"Then again, we know that person you spoke of earlier and I know what she deals with," he said dryly, giving him a long look.  Greg stared back.  "Give us ten minutes, Pershing?"

"Huh?"

"He wants to ask a private question," Greg told him.  "He thinks you'll be embarrassed."

"Oh."  He nodded, leaving them alone.

The agent looked at Grissom, then at Greg.  "I'm assuming he knows?"  Greg nodded.  "Okay.  Let's just say my cousin knows a bit about this.  He went to school at Salem."

"I went in Scotland."

"Hogwarts?"

Greg only grinned.  "Maybe.  Why?"

"I'm thinking you're the rarest of the rare, sir.  Are you an alchemist?"  Greg only raised an eyebrow.  "If you were, or knew someone who was, like your school friend, it's not against the law, but I'm wondering why that person filed the report."

"Because he got jealous.   It's like what happens when someone wins the lottery and you work with them.  He did it to himself by breaking the protocol.  I know better than that and I'm only starting my field training."  He slid down, leaning against the side of the car, his arms crossed, and giving the guy a look.  "I'm expecting three people to try to discredit me.  This guy, the day shift DNA tech who messed up and I caught his mistake, and Ecklie."  Grissom gave him an odd look.  "He's still trying to blackmail me.  He thinks he knows what I'm about," he said dryly.  "By the way, I'm going to have to go back over there to defend my mastery soon," he said dryly.  "I let Nick do the proofreading of my research so he'd have something to make him take a nap."

The agent looked at him.  "I won't ask if you are or aren't, sir.  I won't even suggest you practice your arts now and then somewhere else."  Greg smirked at that.  "I figured you weren't doing that only over here since you have so many tight ties in Scotland."  He looked at Grissom, then at Greg.  "This is one of those situations where things are probably going to go fairly well for you but a very serious allegation about your work was also put forward and we do have to check into that."

"I never, with two exceptions, use my wand in the lab," he hissed.  "One was to fix the stupid mistake the day guy made.  The other was when I was defending myself and I had to do that with it."

The agent nodded.  "I understand.  We saw the record of the assault.  We did do a bit of research before we came here," he admitted with a small smirk of his own.  "By the way, that was brilliant work with the mix up, CSI Sanders.  How long did it take you?"

"Nearly the whole day," he said dryly.  "And three pots of very good coffee."

"I understand," he agreed, nodding a bit.  "How much faster did it make you?"

"I'd say about twice or maybe twice and a half as fast," he admitted, smirking at him.  They had a very good understanding going.  "But it was necessary and I am very careful in my lab."

"You are.  Which wasn't a problem with us.  Everything was properly time stamped and date stamped.  I'm amazed personally, but I don't think anyone would notice."

"We're hoping so too," Grissom said dryly.  "Is that a problem?"

"No," he said, shaking his head and giving them a true grin and a wink.  "Not at all.  Actually, it's not a problem in the least.  The other three who do the same work as you have had to dip into temptation due to their bosses in the past."

"Fortunately my boss cares for my work," Greg told him.  "Even if I was tempted now and then.  Speaking of," he said, looking at Grissom. "Did you look under the car yet?" he asked, pointing at the wand he could see.

"I hadn't, but I will," he promised.  He looked at the agent.  "Is that all?"

"For now," he agreed.  "Just be a bit careful and do watch out for reprisals, CSI Saunders.  You never know who's listening and out to get you."  He nodded toward and alley.

"I saw and felt," he admitted.  "We've had a few discussions."  He looked over.  "Coming to check out the scene and your new trainee, Director Ecklie?"

"I was," he agreed, coming out of the alley.  "What's going on?"

"Your former day shift guy tried to say I was corrupt and doing bad things again," Greg told him.  Ecklie gave him an odd look.  "Ethan knows exactly what I do.  Ask him."

"I did," he admitted. "Pain killers?"

"Actually, four intermixed.  They combine to create a new one which is stronger, easily works on everyone, and still isn't addictive.  It's for my Mastery," he said dryly. "It's all natural and costs about fifty bucks a dose to create singly."  Ecklie looked stunned.  "I am a Master in my field," he noted patiently.  "I have to renew my Mastery every decade.  This is my decade and Nick is looking over my notes that I'm presenting in a few weeks.  It's giving him something to do and a reason to nap after his treatment earlier."

"I see."  He pulled Greg aside.  "You are like Snape?"

"A Potion's master, yeah," he said, glancing around.  "I have been since about two years after I graduated over there, right before I started my undergrad."  Ecklie winced.  "Why?  Did you doubt?"

"No, I didn't, I doubted that you did your undergrad our way."

"No, I did it this way because I was hiding from the big goober we defeated last winter," he said dryly.  "He wanted me for what my talented little fingers could do, the same as your day shift guy did.  I ran, it was safer."  Ecklie nodded at that.  "Now then, is this a problem?"

"You used it twice?"

"Once when I was attacked in the lab.  Once when I had to fix the other guy's problem.  And then I only sped up time," he said very quietly.  "I still did it legally, I just did it with a lot of coffee."

"Fine," he agreed, backing away.  "I'll leave you in Grissom's hands.  The other two?"

"Holy's sister is a Wiccan. She understands but nothing else."

"Oh."  He nodded.  "The new person coming in?"  Greg shrugged.  "He was your suggestion."

"Him?  Hell no," he snorted.  "Christian right wing moralist.  Pat Robertson has nothing on this guy."

"Oh.  That's fine, I guess."

"I told him a two week trial and then we'd make a final decision," Grissom offered, butting in.  "Is there a problem?  Greg's told me that there's some...strife between you two."

"No, not any more," Ecklie admitted. "I thought he was doing things the easy way."

"I'd never keep him if he was," Grissom noted.

"And I'm not like that," Greg reminded him.  "I never was."

"Fine.  You do know one of your papers was never found?"

"That issue's obsolete and I do have it at home if you wanted to read it."

"No, that's fine," Ecklie decided.  "Do you, um, know much about Ethan and I?"

"Yeah, but I don't care," Greg told him.  "If you stay out of my way, I'm staying out of your thing with him.  Luna likes to babysit now and then, it's like an inspiration for birth control."

"Oh, that's good."  He nodded.  "Fine, carry on.  What, um, do we do when cases like your thing happen?"

"You hand them to me and to Brass," Greg told him.  "We handle these things.  He knows enough to know when to come to me and I know what to do to protect those who might be involved unfairly."

"Fine.  And the wooden things?"

"There's a nice box in my second desk drawer, behind the flask of good scotch, that I'm keeping a few in," Greg admitted.  "It's purely for shock value though," he finished with a grin.

"I'll keep that in mind when Brass's Dewers runs out," Grissom said dryly.  "Since when?"

"Since McGonagall sent some to me last year.  Her sister distilled it when she was graduating."

"Good?" Grissom asked.

"Very," Greg agreed. "The cask is in my cellar.  I'll share it later."  He looked at Ecklie again.  "Can we have peace or should I become more like my undergrad self?" he asked with a bright grin.  "I have worse t-shirts."

"No, please don't," he moaned, shaking his head.  "Fine.  I have a case, I'll talk to Brass."

"Sure.  Send him down when you're done."  He looked at the agents, then at Grissom.  "Problems now?"

"No, Greg, I've kept an eye on you and you're staying clean as far as I can tell," he noted.  "I still want a copy of a picture of Brass with bunny ears."  He walked off, going to find the wand Greg had noted.  "Greg?"

He looked.  "Over to the left.  In.  There.  Grab."  Grissom grabbed something and brought it out, putting it into a bag.  He looked at Ecklie.  "You got problems?"

"No, not any more."

Greg nodded, heading back to the agents.  "Are we done?"

"We are," the second one noted.  "Thank you for letting us know what's been going on.  We will tell him that we did speak to you and that you did explain the circumstances of why he broke protocol."

"I have the complaint filed against him," Ecklie offered, stepping closer.  "I about took his head off for that."

"Sure, if we could," the first agent said with a smile.  "Thank you for your cooperation, Director Ecklie.  CSI Saunders?  Will you be at the lab later?"

"Depends on how soon we get done here.  Do you think there's another problem?"

"I want to see if this man has done anything else about you.  I'm not sure if he's joined the second tech's lawsuit about you ruining their professional reputations."

"Excuse me?" he asked, looking stunned. "I did what?"

"By finding their mistakes, it ruined their professional reputations," the second agent said with a grimace.  "It's what we call a payment suit.  They want you to pay them to go away."

"I'll kill 'em to make 'em go away," he said dryly.  "I need a good lawyer?"  They both nodded.  "Can you drop me any details about that?"

"I'll email them to the director later," the second agent promised.  "Thank you for being so understanding."

"Hey, not an issue.  If they're desperate enough, they'll do stupid stuff to try to cover their asses," he said bitterly, walking off shaking his head.  "Thanks, guys."

"You're welcome, sir," the first agent said, looking at the director.  "When can we get that complaint?"

He pulled out his card.  "I'll email it to you."

The agent pulled out his card and handed it over.  "Thank you.  We'll be back in the office by later tonight."

"Of course."  They shook hands and Ecklie walked off, going to call Brass to meet him somewhere to talk about this new case his people had gotten.  He'd mention that suit as well.  The department would have to beg Saunders for that.

***

Greg walked into his lab and shut the door, then kicked it once before turning and taking a deep breath.  His little girl laughed from his seat.  "Hey, princess.  Daddy's a bit frustrated, he could use a hug."  She walked over, giving him the cuddle he needed.  "Thank you.  You're the best remedy for someone trying stupid shit near the daddy."

"Why?"

"Because you are so very cuddly," he assured her with a grin.  "You know, some day we'll have to change our names and find a way to make sure everyone forgets the daddy," he said, sitting down behind his desk.

"You mean like 'obliviate Greg'?" Catherine asked from the doorway.  Greg looked at her and nodded.  "Why?"

"Because there are way too many people who know me," he said bitterly.  "I had two Feds come up to me today to see why the idiot who tried to wreck my first stone filed for them to investigate me."  She gaped, her mouth hanging open.  He nodded, giving her a steady look.  "One of them had a cousin who went to Salem."  He looked at his daughter.  "Where is your mommy and brothers?"

"Meany lady."

"Ah."  He nodded, hitting the speed dial on the phone.  He got the answering machine.  "It's what time?" he asked Catherine, who was still gaping at him.  "Cat?"

"Um, nearly four.  Maybe she's asleep?"

"My baby's a night baby like I am," he said plainly.  He tried again, getting the answering machine again.  He tried his tattoo and only got paranoia.  "Fuck," he said, making his daughter giggle.  "Um, Cat, can you maybe take someone over to my house and see if the stupid brat took her *and* the boys?" he asked calmly.

"On it," she agreed, heading down the halls at a run.  She ran into Brass.  "Greg just tried to call home.  She's not there, and she said she had to meet with her student, who had hissed at Cassandra the last time.  Greg only felt paranoia when he tried it his way."

"Hell," he muttered, taking her out to his car.  He backed out, heading out there after checking for the little orange indicator light.  It wasn't that far away, fortunately, but the door was open.  "This is not good."  He led the way inside, hand on his gun, and found a young woman on the couch.  "Where's Emilia and the boys?" he asked.

"Gone.  She left Greg."

"I doubt it," Catherine told her.  The woman sneered at her so she pulled her up and handcuffed her.  "I'm guessing you're the student, bitch.  You'd better tell me where they are or else."

"You'll never find her or them," she sneered.

"Greg, she did take them, she's got them hidden," Catherine called.

"Oh, really?" a dry, male voice said from the stairs.  Teller came down the stairs, looking at them.  "Where might that be, Brandy?"

"I'm not saying a word without my lawyer."

"Excuse me for a minute," Teller said, walking her back up the stairs.  He came down a few minutes later and handed back the cuffs.  "You won't be needing them.  They're up in the mountains.  Find the boys first," he said, concentrating then laying his hands on either side of her forehead and looking into her eyes.  "Concentrate," he whispered.

She flinched but she knew where that was.  She nodded and backed off.  "Emilia?"

"Nearby.  She can hear them cry.  I'll make sure she gets down there."

"Call someone," she said, dragging Brass out to his car but getting in to drive.  "Call someone now."  She pulled away fast enough to leave rubber behind.

"Hey, easy on the tires," he complained.

"The bitch buried them," she said grimly.  "Got shovels?"

"No, where are we going so I can have Gris join us?"

"Remember where Nick found that drowning?  At the foot of that mountain."  She turned on the lights and went through a redlight, not caring that she caused a wreck.  "Stupid idiots."

"Catherine, let's not wreck, I'm sure they'll be fine."

"I doubt it."  She sped up once they hit the highway, heading as fast as she could.  She hated people like that woman and she would be punished, maybe Greg would let her help.  "Call Gris."

"Calling," he agreed, reaching for his cellphone.  He wasn't going to broadcast this.  "Ecklie?  Why are you in Grissom's office?"  He grimaced.  "No, tell him Emilia's student buried the boys and blocked Emilia up somewhere so she had to listen to them cry.  Do not tell Greg yet.  We're heading out there.  Teller gave Catherine the location.  Tell him we'll need shovels and that she apologizes for the wreck she caused in front of Circus Circus."  He hung up and looked at her, making sure she wasn't going to spaz out. Well, more anyway.

***

Greg was led out to the site by Nick, who was trying very hard not to shake.  Warrick had Cassandra.  Emilia had been found and so had the boys.  He looked at the two boys on the stretcher, then at the paramedics.  "Should I go kill her now or wait for bloodwork?" he asked dryly.

"They'll be fine, sir."

"I doubt it," he noted, going over to hug his wife.  "You okay?"  She nodded against his chest.  "Go with them to the hospital.  Who had her?"

"Teller," Catherine said.  "He walked her off, she didn't even scream."

"Oh, there's things that'll make you piss yourself but won't make you scream," he noted.  "Where is she now?"

"In custody," Grissom said, staring him down.  "You're not allowed near her, Greg.  It's against policy and the law.  You can't hurt her."

"Do you think I need to be on the same continent to hurt her?" he asked dryly.

"No," Grissom admitted.  "But I'm hoping you'll let the law work first."

Greg took a deep breath, then shook his head.  "No."  He looked at him, then at Brass.  "I'm not.  Not unless she's going away right this instant, and then I'll get her once she's in the jail."  He smiled sweetly.  "By the time I get back there to pick up 'San, she'd better be pleading and begging for her life in front of a judge.  Or else I will make her plead and beg."  He grabbed his head, moaning a bit, and shot back a very long invective at the people ordering him to calm down, letting them know exactly why he was going to go homicidal soon.

Tipsy Ramvette-Weasley appeared a few moments later.  "That camp moving spell is very handy," she said plainly, looking at the men.  "Honey.  Where's Emilia and the boys?"  Brass pointed at the ambulance. "They're okay?"

"Hopefully," Grissom told her.  "They seem to be.  We're taking them in for observation.  We still can't let Greg near the woman who did this."

"Then she'd better be begging for mercy," Greg said, smirking at him.  "Luna just showed up with Armwrench."  He straightened up and looked at Tipsy.  "Are you going to try to stop me?"

"Hell no," she snorted.  "Alex will.  He's on his way.  You know he can do torture so much better, Greggy."

He shrugged.  "Do I care?  He can help me."  He turned and walked off, heading off and disappearing.  He landed back at the station and ran into Draco.  "Out of my way, bitch."

"No," he said, getting in his way.  "Alex is in with her," he said calmly.  "She's paying and paying hard," he said, making Greg look at him.  "He's making her confess."

"And then what?" he said bitterly.  "She goes to jail?"

"No," Ron said, putting an arm around his shoulders with an evil smirk.  "Then she starts paying for real.  The way only one of us can make her."  Greg stared at him.  "I did learn a bit from the twins," he said dryly.  "We can do anything to her once she's been found guilty."

"But first, we have to find her that way," Draco noted calmly.  "Tipsy called for a Tribunal.  We're waiting on you and Emilia."

"Warrick has Cassandra."

"He still does and he's waiting on you in your office," Draco admitted.  "I can go get her if you want."

Greg shook his head.  "No, thanks though."  He looked at the doors, but someone caught him and he backhanded whoever it was, turning to look at Nick.  "You don't touch me.  I'm not going near her.  Yet."  Nick nodded, holding his hands up and backing off.  "Thank you.  I don't want to hurt anybody, but right now, I'm going to explode."

"Then let me get the mini-mite and bring her out," Nick suggested.  "That way her defense attorney can't say anything."

Draco snorted.  "My consort's in there talking to her at the moment," he said dryly.  "She doesn't have a lawyer.  I doubt she'll be needing one.  She'll be making a full confession."  He looked at Greg.  "I can if you'd rather."

"No, I'm cool with Nick," he admitted, looking at Ron.  "Comfy?" he asked.  The arm had went back around his shoulders.

"You're nearly as pretty as Dawn is," he said with a smirk.  "Figured you could use a cuddle anyway and I could always knock you out if you tried to hit the too pretty one there," he said with a chin-nod at Draco.  "Alex might get upset if you beat his little boy there."

"I will be kicking your ass later, Weasley."

"Fat chance," he said with a smirk.

"Boys, annoying me now," Nick noted.  "Really.  Grow up."

"We have.  I have to spend nearly every waking moment looking at him," Ron told him.  "I never liked him, I put up with him."

"Yes, I find that my endurance levels for the intolerably stupid have grown as well," Draco noted.  "Too bad this is all he's good for."

"I can still kick your tail," Ron said patiently.  "As I did last night at practice."

"A lucky shot."

"Enough!" Greg snapped.

"Sorry," Draco said.  "He's not smart enough to apologize, but I will for both of us."

Ron gave Greg's neck a squeeze.  "He doesn't realize, but this all has a reason, giving Alex more time to work."  He gave him another squeeze.  "Go get the baby.  She's about the only niece I wanna see from my near-family.  The twin's kids are horrible."

"And then some," Alex said as he walked out with Warrick.  He looked at Greg.  "She's making a full confession, without mentioning her specialness.  She's decided she's very sorry.  Severus is running the inquisition and we're doing the punishment together."  He bowed.  "My evil mind is at your service, Greg."

"Thanks."  He took his daughter, who was looking very confused. "Mommy and your brothers are fine."

"Why they not?" she asked, sounding like McGonagall trying to have patience with a stupid student.

"The mean lady insulted mommy and sneered at the boys," he explained.  "Mommy has them and she's going to be right with us."

"Want brother now!" she demanded loudly.  One of her brothers popped in and Nick made a diving catch for him. "Wow."

"Very wow," Draco agreed, taking her to put his own shields around her.

Ron called Emilia over their tattoos, telling her what had happened.  "So, when're we helping you guys move?" he asked.

"As soon as I can find a new place," he said grimly.  "Which could be a few days."

"Greg, you have money, I have money, we'll find you a spot," Alex promised.  "Just give us a few days to work on someone."  He nodded, taking his daughter back to cuddle her.  "You're adorable, Cassandra."

"So?" she demanded.  "I smart!"

"Yes, you are," Ron agreed with a grin.  "That's much more important, you're right."  He stuck his tongue out at Alex.  "She'll be a woman like McGonagall.  Smart and pretty in her youth."  Alex, Draco, and Greg all gave him odd looks.  "Mum said she was!" he defended.

"She was," Alex admitted.  "She was a lot more delicate back then too.  I had to teach her how to brawl and how to duel.  It was the only way she could beat a few guys off her, including a relative of that Oliver guy."  He smiled at Cassandra, who grinned at him.  "Where should we find you a new house?"

"I don't know," Greg admitted, finding a nearby picnic table and sitting down with her.  "I don't like moving."

"Me either," Nick admitted, handing over the book he had grabbed from his front seat as he raced back to stop Greg.  "Here, I did the proof.  I didn't know you could do that."  Greg gave him a small grin.  "Really!  That's so much worse than Advanced Chemistry.  It's like a textbook on how to make that fifth solution.  It was kinda interesting."

"You mean you didn't nap?" Greg teased dryly.

Nick nodded.  "I did.  That fourth one knocked me out after I had that 'eww' moment."

Hodges jogged over.  "Are you okay?" he demanded.

"The bitch buried my boys and put Emilia in a hole just near enough to hear them cry," he noted.  "I'm a bit pissed.  They're keeping me from killing her."

"At least they're fine?" Hodges pressed.  Greg nodded.  "Good."  He patted Cassandra on the head.  "Look out near the end of the strip for a place, Greg.  There's some good, secure places out there."

Greg nodded.  "Thanks, Hodges.  By the way, the idiot tried to get the FBI to investigate me.  They showed up at the scene I was working with Gris earlier."  Hodges gaped.  "Yeah.  Oh, and the old DNA tech is suing me for ruining his professional rep."

"And I thought I was petty," Hodges snorted, shaking his head.  "I'll take over the lab for you tonight, okay?"

"Sure.  Thanks.  I think I'm gonna be pounding my frustration out somewhere around the school."

"My house," Alex corrected.  "In my workspace so we don't upset my aunts and make them want to help."

Greg nodded.  "I can agree to that.  It'll be safer anyway for the kids."  He looked at his son, who was cooing at Ron.  "You okay?"  His son beamed at him.  "Good boy.  We'll get that bitch.  We'll be fine.  Mommy and your brother will be fine or else Daddy's going to go insane."  Ron hugged him again. "Ron," he said impatiently.

"Sorry, filling in since she's walking across the parking lot," he said, nodding at Emilia and Teller carrying his son.  "I figured you could rant to me about something else, it might ease some of the anger while Professor Armwrench went off on her with Luna's help."

"Armwrench is here?" Emilia asked as she joined them.  "Brandy?"

"In custody, singing like a song bird," Alex told her. "There's a tribunal to see what happens to her next.   It's at my workspace."  He took the second son and cuddled him.  "Hey.  You okay?"  The baby reached over and bit him on the nose.  "Yeah, we love you too."  He patted him on the back.  "We ready?"

"We're ready," Draco agreed, standing up.  "Cousin dear?"

"Coming," she agreed.  She took her son back from Ron, who was cooing at him now.  "Come on, son.  You too, annoyance."

"Me?" Ron asked with a grin.  "Can't I stay for just a minute?"

"Hell no.  If I can't, you can't. I get first hit," Greg assured him.

"I was going to make her forget about magic," he complained, standing up and following them.  "Camp moving spell?"

"Sure," Alex agreed.  "You need the practice, Ron."

"Me too," Draco sighed, starting on his side.  "Circle?"

"Fine," Ron agreed, laying out his edge with his wand.  The group of them disappeared, but he did send a silent prayer to Armwrench about his idea.  Dawn had told him who he was really.  Maybe he could do something about her before they did. When they landed, Alex reached over to slap him across the back of the head.  "Hey!"

"He said we could handle it first and he'd add that on top of it.  Good idea though, Ron.  I'd give you points but you're not a kid anymore, even though you act like it."  He stared him down.  "We could have done that."

"Yeah, but he can make it stick permanently.  No matter who sees her."

"Eh, true," he agreed.  "In one year he'll make it start."  He looked around.  "Up the blue lit passageway.  It'll come out in the kitchen of the workhouse."  He walked one of the boys up there, letting Greg take his daughter and Emilia take the other son.  He walked in and nodded at Severus.  "Ron decided to be impetuous and make Armwrench an offer to start her memory eraser in a year's time.  She won't remember anything about magic."

"But the torture can live on," one of the twins noted dryly.

"Most pleasantly so," the other agreed.

"We just have a year to torture her beforehand, that way she realizes what she's done and who she's fucked with," Draco noted. He stole the son from Alex's arms and put him down to crawl.  "There, be adored.  Go bite Joxer or Iolaus.  Please."

The boy cackled and went that way, going to pounce his friends.  The other twin wiggled until he got put down and then he too went to pounce the other kids.

"I got good news today," Greg said proudly.  "Catherine found this little one in the bathroom all by herself."

"Well," Emilia said happily, taking her daughter to hug.  "I'm so proud."

"Diapers nasty, mommy," she complained patiently.  "Go potty now?"

"Sure," Alex agreed, pointing his wand at a door and making it change.  "There you go, the roving bathroom in this house."  She smiled at him and got down, going in there to use the potty for her parent's pleasure.  They clapped and she got treats from the twins and Tipsy when she came.

Alex banged on the table at the front of the room.  "Okay, let's get this started.   Yo, some food!" he yelled.  "We've got to be mean and need food to do it."  The house elves brought in plates of sandwiches and pitchers of milk and juice. "Thanks.  Tell the aunts we're being mean and to leave us alone."

"Aunts know, say babies stay here with mother," one said, glaring at him.  "Father go be mean on everyone's behalf."  The house elves disappeared.

"Sure," Alex agreed.  "Okay with me."

Emilia shook her head.  "Nope, not this time."

Greg looked at her.  "You sure?  She has a husband."

"Who's a woose.  Hodges could beat him."

"Point."  He held up a finger and took Hodges out of his jacket pocket and released him.  "Free ride?"

"Yeah, but more to get away from Ecklie.  He's pissed.  He's trying to get Ethan to call something down on that woman.  I didn't want to be in the crossfire.  How wimpy is this guy?"

"We're talkin' fully limp wristed, decorator, bitch-ass pasny," Ron told him.  "And he's not.  He just acts like one.  He thinks it makes him cool."

"Ah," Hodges said, nodding.  "Then yeah, I could probably take him."  He grinned at them.  "Can I go look at the unicorns?"

"Sure," Alex agreed.  "Come this way."  He led him outside.  "You liking the changing thing?"

"It's pretty neat after the first time, that hurt," Hodges told him.  "I...kinda guess it's not so bad."

"It's not," he agreed, grinning at him.  "Just remember, you can't tell anyone who could get you into trouble."

"Only Greg and Gris know."

"Eh, I doubt he's going to tell anybody."  He nudged him and pointed.  "Out there.  Sit on the hill there and you get a good view most nights of the pond."  Hodges nodded, shaking his hand.  "We'll come get you soon."  He headed back inside, going to whisper in Greg's ear.  Greg nodded and relaxed, getting down to business.  That woman would be sorry.

***

Greg walked up to the holding cells, looking at the woman.  "You fucked up," he said calmly.  "There's no way you're not going to be punished our way too.  You will be punished and there's no Ministry here to help protect you.  Since you're American..." He smirked and pulled out a wand made of ivory.  "Well, you know the drill, dear.  By the time you're allowed to forget all about us, you'll have it ingrained in your DNA."  She snorted and crossed her arms.  "Any last requests or statements?"

"You're nothing."

"Actually, I'm not," he smirked, then flicked his wand at her.  One the way out, he took off his illusion, looking at the nice detective.  "Thank you for your indulgence, young man.  That was most kind of you."  He shook his hand.  "Have no fear, she will be punished.  Then she'll mysteriously forget all about our world.  If she has a wand, keep it.  I'm sure someone around here can use the decoration on their desks."  He smiled at Grissom as he joined them.  "Hello, young man."

"I know you," he said.  "You look just like your son."

"I do," he agreed smugly.  "Pity he couldn't be here but I had to work quite strongly to knock him out."  He smiled and walked off, putting his wand back in his inner pocket, then disappearing once he found a shadow outside.

Brass looked at Grissom.  "It's only fair."

"It is," he agreed.  "We can't punish her the way she should be."  He looked at the woman, watching her break out in sores.  It was a good start in his mind.  "Greg would be happy."

"I'm sure he helped plan everything," he said tiredly.  "Where is he?"

"His lab.  He's staring at his flask of good scotch."

"Let's go," Brass said tiredly.  He found the bag with her wand and handed it to Grissom.  "Here, test this, see what it is."

He looked at it.  "Beech wood."  He looked at Brass.  "It's a fascinating art."  Brass nodded, following him back to the lab.  He tapped on the door and walked inside.  "Hey."

"Hey."  He opened his bottom drawer and pulled out a lock box, tossing it to Grissom.  "It's still open.  Lost the key last year."  He looked at Brass and waved the flask.  "Glasses?"

"In my office."  He went to get them, bringing them back.  He held his out, letting him pour a bit into it.  He sniffed it.  "This is well aged."

"It is.  The cask is in my house."  He poured Grissom some, then blew out a coffee cup from his desk and added some to it, capping the flask and putting it back down.  He sighed as he took a drink.  "Who came?"

"Alex's father," Grissom told him.  "He said he knocked out Alex."  He put the wand inside the box, leaving it in the bag so it could be identified later.

"Don't worry about it.  Ollivander knows who a wand belongs to.  That's one of his by the mark on the handle."  Greg drank another sip.  "I need a new house.  Hodges suggested the end of the strip."

"With that lawsuit, you sure you wanna do that, kid?" Brass asked, taking another sip.  "This is really good."

"Yeah, she used some good purification to get any and all contaminants out.  Makes it smoother.  She just laid another few barrels aside this year for her future grandkids to deal with."  He finished off his coffee cup. "Yeah, I need to move.  I don't feel safe there.  The only one I'd worry about is Blair at the moment.  He's a bit out of his mind.  I'll send the new address and pictures to Stanley.  He's on his couch."  He looked at his flask.  "Am I still on suspension?"

"While she's in this facility, yes.  I'm sorry, Greg," Grissom offered. "I wish I could break this."

"Yeah, well, I have things I can do."  He stood up.  "I'm off to talk to Emilia about what we want in a new house."

"Keep the pool," Brass suggested.  "It's a nice thing to have in the desert."

"Yeah, and everyone comes to use it," Greg said with a small smirk.  "Besides, if I can, I need to defend my mastery in ten days."

"Go for it.  Tell me how it goes," Grissom told him.  "I'll file forms tomorrow, Greg."

"Thanks, Gris.  Brass, take the rest of that and feed it to someone else before I drink it.  I can't be drunk around the kids."  He walked off, heading for home.  Emilia had their realtor in to talk to her.  He walked in the back door, making their realtor jump.  "I'm taking a few days off.  I've got to go defend in a few days anyway," he pointed out, collapsing next to his wife.  "So, anything?"

"A few promising things," she offered. "Not much."  She put down the newest picture.  "I don't mind the size of this place, but slightly smaller would be okay."

"Except for one time, we only ever use seven of the rooms," Greg offered.  "Plus the pool."

"There's not too many of those around, Greg."

"I know," he said patiently.  "The same as I know how expensive they are."

"Good point," Emilia agreed.  "Can we afford it if we can't sell the house right away?"

"Yes, dear," he said patiently, patting her on the back.  "Need a nap?" he asked with a grin.

"Well, yeah.  The boys have been heathens while you were gone.  Who got to take the flask away from you?"

"I shared with Brass and Gris," he admitted dryly.  "It kept me from downing it myself.  Then again, I did tell them we had more here."  He looked at their realtor.  "Can we sell this one?"

"Sure.  Not an issue. I know someone who wouldn't mind it a bit."  She looked at the portfolio in her hands.  "How about a gated community?"

"Don't they usually have to accept new owners?" Emilia asked.

"I'm still working," Greg reminded her.  "That could count against me and I can't play golf."

"True," Emilia offered, patting him on the thigh.  "We'll need lab space for him."

"Have you thought about buying a commercial property, like a hotel, and renovating?" she asked sarcastically.

"Yes," they said in unison.

"Takes too much time," Greg told her.  "I need to be in close to the city. Since I'm doing field work now, I've got to be within twenty minutes of most of the city if I'm on call."

"That narrows it down some," she said, grimacing a bit.  She looked again.  "How high are you willing to go?"

"Depends, what can you get us for here and for another, say, three mil?" Greg asked.

She looked at him.  "Do you remember how much you paid for this place?"  He nodded, looking reasonable.  "I can get you a palace for that, Gregory."

"We could handle that, as long as it came with a maid," Emilia said, scrunching her nose up a bit.

"I said I'd do that," Greg reminded her, kissing her on the cheek.  "As soon as we move.  I'm talking Alex out of one of his."  They looked at the realtor again.  They both smiled.

"Fine, I have one," she admitted.  "It's one of those 'famous people' houses.  You'll attract attention."

"Not when I'm done with the security system," Greg said dryly.  "There will be no more break-ins either."

"There is one," she sighed, handing over the listing to them.  "It's in town.  It's fairly odd.  It's got a good set of bedrooms."

"It's right next door to Penn," Emilia said.

"You know him?"

"Yeah, but I couldn't live next to him. He's be over hogging the pool all the time," she said, handing it back.  "Not enough bedrooms either.  Or bathrooms."

"Think motel, dear," the realtor said, staring her down.  She shrugged and grinned.  "Condo building?"

"Would work for us," he agreed.  "If it was small."

She rolled her eyes and dug through them again, coming up with one that had a card attached.  "Unfortunately not mine," she offered, handing it over.  "Near the Luxor.  Nice place.  Big rooms.  Got a pool.  Two stories, used to be a small condo building but it was renovated after being bought.  It's all open spaces though. You'd have to put in walls."

Greg looked it over, then looked at her.  They reread it then shook their heads.  "We need walls," Emilia told her.  "I can't stand to watch him work in the lab when he's so intense and that'll need to have a locking door as well."

"We have nosy friends," Greg agreed.

She rolled her eyes and took that one back, then found an older one in the back. "I'm not sure if this is up for sale still or not," she offered.  "It's the best I have so far."  She handed it over, letting them look at it.

"It's quiet, yet not too out of the way," Emilia offered.

"It's private, and I can make it more private," he agreed.  "It's got walls, a pool, or three, and a hot tub."

"It's got a sauna and a good looking kitchen," Emilia agreed.  "Way too many windows but that's what curtains are for.  Gated community?"  Their realtor shook her head.  "Why is it on the market still?"

"It's haunted.  Someone died there, the owner died right after the final bolt was installed.  Said to be cursed."

"We can handle that," Greg said dryly.  "We're pretty good at it really."  He grinned at her.  "How much?"

"About a third of the cost of this one."

"Even better, we can buy some furniture that the kids won't destroy."  They looked at Greg's former favorite reading chair, which Cassandra had gotten bored and ripped all the stuffing out of.  They grinned at each other.  "Plus a dedicated playroom for the monsters and the children of our friends who're even bigger monsters," she said lightly.

"Yeah, because if I catch Joxer in my lab again, I'm gonna have to paddle her little ass," Greg agreed.

"You know someone who named their kid *Joxer*?" she asked.  "Like off that show?"

"They're the owners of a great prank shop," Emilia sighed, shaking her head.  "Her twin, Iolaus, is even worse."

Their realtor shook their heads.  "I'll arrange for a viewing tonight, if possible.  If not, definitely tomorrow.  Then we'll work on getting this place sold.  I'm going to go now, before you come up with more impossible demands or..."  She squealed and jumped, looking at the grinning little boy staring up at her.  "Who're you?"

"Iolaus," Greg said grimly.

"Where's your twin?" Emilia demanded.   He grinned brighter and pointed toward the kitchen.  "Shit!" she shouted, getting up to stop the mess in the making.  She was not going to clean jelly off the textured ceiling ever again.

"You thought we were kidding," Greg said, capturing the baby before he could do anything else.  "Where's your mommy?"  He pointed outside.  "Thank you.  Why don't you go nurse or something?  I'm sure your mommy wants to cuddle you since you're so much like your daddy."  He beamed at that and let out an evil chuckle before going to find his mommy and get his rightful cuddles.  He was right, he was like his daddies and they got cuddles so he should too.  His sister squealed and ran after him, falling in the pool.  Apparently she was more like their Uncle Percy than their daddies, but that was okay.  More for him.  His mother let out a dramatic squeal when he pounced her, making him laugh all the harder.  She was a funny mommy.

"Get out of the pool," Emilia yelled.  "Now, Joxer!"

"No!" she shouted, taking off to doggy paddle across it.  Her mother lifted her up and floated her over with her wand.  "Meany," she sneered.

"Just for that, you can nap," Tipsy said, glaring at her little girl.  "And I do mean now."  She put her daughter down on a nearby chair then floated her son over there.  "Think up something to make your dads shudder."  She looked over at Emilia. "I'm your guard, sweetie.  We'll be out here."

"Of course you will," Greg called.  "Keep them out of my lab."

"Yes, dear."

"W may have a new spot," Emilia offered.  "Nice, big, multiple pools.  Hot tub."

"In the desert?"

"For when poor Greg is sore from working in the field."

"Uh-huh," she said dryly, glaring at Greg.  "If you get hurt, I'll kill you and then let my boys have you."

He snorted.  "The only one of you who scare me is Ron, because he's unpredictable."  He went to pack his lab, he wouldn't trust that task to anyone but himself.  Then again, he could also lock his door.  That way no Weasley could torment him for a few hours.  He heard a giggle but put up a block so they couldn't break the door in either.  It'd save his sanity for another day.

An Unholy Trinity.

Ginny, Luna, and Dawn looked at each other, then at the teacher at the other end of the room.  Then they looked at each other again, nodding subtly.  Dawn looked at the parchment in front of her, picking up her quill to look like she was proofreading a paper.

"If you so much as *think* about working on that spell, I will toast your hides and make you sorry for eternity," Professor Armwrench said crisply, coming back to confiscate it.  "I don't care if it's for a good reason," he said, cutting off Ginny's protest before she could do more than think about it.  He looked down at Luna.  "I doubt it," he said smugly, smirking at her.  Then even he blushed at the next thought from her mind.  "Miss Lovegood!" he said, blushing and walking off with the spell.

Luna looked at his back.  "What? I had fun thinking about it," she defended with a grin for her buddies.

Dawn sighed and raised her hand.  "Sir, if you won't let me use that one, would you be kind enough to point my bitchy, cranky ass toward the person who did this to him and the book I need to help him hurt her?"

"No," he said patiently.  "I'm still investigating on my own, Miss Summers.   You can wait as well."

She looked back at him. "If we do, there could be a book three."  The students all stared in horror, realizing what she was talking about now.  "I can always ask Alex for meaner things.  We do realize this, correct?"

"I do, and should he do that for you, he would quickly find himself beset," he said, staring her down.  She didn't slump, only raised an eyebrow.  "I promise, when we find out who did this heinous and lamentably funny act, they will be suffering.  I'll go to Harry myself and help him.  He *is* one of mine after all," he noted dryly, smirking at her.

"Sorry, sir, not good enough.  There's more than Harry who wants a piece of the bitch," Ginny told him.  "Including most of my family.  Even Percy's upset about this."

Armwrench sighed and looked up.  "Why me?" he asked the ceiling.  He heard a thunderclap and looked outside.  "Hmm.  Brother's around somewhere."  He shrugged and shut the shutters, only glancing back when something ran into it.  "I'm teaching!" he snapped.  "You can wait!"  He smoothed down his hair and walked back to the front of the classroom.  "I promise, ladies, whoever is doing this to him will be punished," he said calmly, staring Dawn down.  "We all know I'm not going to leave this alone.  Not only have I wondered why I kept getting surges from bookstores, I also know that there's been quite a few hurt feelings.  I can't deny that it bothers many people.  Your family, Ginny, is just the beginning.  Think about those who could possibly sue her for defamation."  The rest of the students shuddered.  "Now, you will leave this in my hands.  I can do more than you could ever dream of."

"Only if you don't end up dealing with a certain old man," Dawn said dryly.  "And wouldn't we be able to do more together, sir?"

"Yes, dear, but you're still not my type.  Much too girly for me."  She smirked at him and he snorted, shaking his head.  "While that's a nice idea, it could fry me and kill you, and my father would definitely try to kill everyone who ever knew what you were thinking.  Therefore, stop it, before he shows up."

Dawn concentrated.  "Too late.  He's having tea."

"Bloody hell," he muttered.  "Up, the three of you. I'm not getting my ass fried this time."

"He'd just tie you up again," Dawn said as she stood up and helped Luna up. She was still a bit sore after her last...date with Wesley.  Those two walked out together and Dawn took the professor's arm to walk with him.  They walked into the headmaster's office, startling him.  "We felt an energy surge?" she asked patiently, looking at the old man standing there.  She smirked and held out a hand.  "Dawn Summers."

He shook it, looking at her. "I know you."

"Wonderful."  She smirked at him.  "I know of you as well.  By the way, tie him up again near that horrible snake would make me quite...upset," she noted, letting some of the ice touch her voice.  "We're dealing with a personal matter.  Did you want to help perhaps?"

"Yes, father, do your Ravens say anything about who was writing those horrible books?" Professor Armwrench, also know as Loki, asked dryly.

"Not as of yet.  Why are you here?"

"Because he controls some of the chaos around here," Luna said, perching on the edge of the headmaster's desk.  "This is a school of magic.  We are teenagers. If someone didn't teach us about sex and things, we'd have to go learn it like I did," she finished with a small purr of contentment.

"Miss Lovegood, we don't need to know why you can't walk straight today, nor do I care which of your nearly demonic men did it to you this time.  Please, don't share."

"I get a vicarious thrill from it," Ginny said dryly, shrugging and smirking a bit.  She looked the older man. "So, you're his father.  Did he teach the children up there about naughty things and budgets too?"

Odin looked at her, then at his son.  "How long did it take you to warp this one?"

"She was like that *long* before I got here.  She's got six brothers."  He looked at Ginny, then at his father.  "If she weren't so pleasant and cheery, I'd take her as my own.  She gives me quite good ideas."

"So I can tell," Odin said dryly, looking at the three girls, then back at Dawn.  "You associate with them?"

"Hell, yes, they're my best damn friends," she said firmly.  "Me, the pure one, and the consort.  It suits me that they love me like their sister.  The same as I do them.  If you don't like it?"  She snorted. "Yay.  You're not my God, nor are you one I honor at this moment.  Now, did you have another reason for being here?" she asked dryly, staring him down.

"Dear, you are human," he said gently.

She grabbed him by the ear and pulled his head closer.  "You so sure of that?  Remember, they made me of the slayer.  I'm not the nicest girl around and he keeps me from going insane while my man is gone.  After all, I'm one of the nice cursebreakers that he loves so much."  She let him go when her professor made her let him go.  "Sorry, I'm having a bad day.  He said I can't help my best male buddy get vengeance for the person wrecking his life.  You have an opinion on that?"

Loki created some chocolate and handed it to her.  "Here, dear.  It's fairly obvious."  He looked at his father.  "You needed to interrupt again, father?"

"We'd come searching for him," Ginny promised him patiently.  "I'm sure Alex Dumass can find a way to find him.  After all, he's got to be his highest priest alive at the moment."

"There's one higher," Loki said with a grin. "He's retired.  When he dies in a few months Alex will be, with Ron and Harry together next on the list."

"They're together now?  Why did my man not tell me this?" Dawn asked smartly, still a bit coldly as well.

"When they're working together and in physical contact, they are one of my stronger teams," Loki told her.  "Adding you to that makes them blinding.  The same as Draco allows Alex to break his compulsion to ...please me."

"Will she get that too?" Ginny asked.  "Because that'd be weird."

"No, dear," he said patiently.  "She will be one of my cursebreakers, but she won't have that compulsion.  She'll only desire to please Ron."

"Good, I like you, sir, but not that way," Dawn quipped, looking at Odin.  "So, you're the big, bad God in his life.  Do you think Ginny would make a good Valkyrie?"

Odin looked at her, then at the girl and nodded.  "Very good.  She's got the care for the horses, the ability to fight and win, and the ability to beat the snot out of any warrior who protested and begged to go back.  Plus she's still pure, a requisite for service.  Want a job?"

"Right now I'm liking unicorns," she said plainly.  "But I'll consider it, talk it over with my mum and the like."

Armwrench looked at her.  "Your mother would throw a bloody fit."

"Well, yeah," she said dryly.  "Especially if she knew who you were."

"Molly loved me when she was here," he offered smugly.  "Used to sneak hugs."

"I'm sure her father was pleased with that," Luna said kindly.  She looked at Dumbledore.  "Any luck finding the person since you know who did it?"

"What makes you think I know who wrote those books?"

Luna got up and walked over to his bookshelves, pulling down the first book and looking inside.  "To my favorite professor and headmaster Dumbledore, may these bring a bit of lightness and serve as a chronicle for the next generation that has to endure such vile times.  Thank you for making sure he won."  She closed the cover and put it back, giving him a look. "By the way, we all know that you knew about them, probably before they even came out.   Did she actually break in to get your pensieve, sir?"

"Miss Lovgood, that was a very awkward accusation," Professor Armwrench chided gently.  "Though quite accurate.  The name?"  Dumbledore mumbled something.  "Thank you, Professor.  I'll make sure she's suitably taught respect for the young man she's ruining."  He looked at his father.  "Is there another reason for this visit, father?"

"There's an offspring of the dragons around here, son.  It's a powerful thing."

"Ginny's brother deals with dragons," Dawn told him. "Or is it one that's attracted to power?"  He nodded at that.  "Huh.  So, let's all go stand in the field and see if it comes running up.  Wanna change out of the tacky uniforms, Luna?"

"Please."

"Me too," Ginny agreed.  "I'd rather go out looking cute if I'm about to be eaten."

Loki looked at the girls.  "We'll do that as our field project this semester, ladies.  Not tonight. Let's gather some research first.  That way I know if I need to club my brother over the head and steal his hammer."

"Why?  Seduce him," Dawn said with a snort.  "He's blond, dumb, and sporty.  Set him up on a date with my sister.  It would annoy Angel to no end."

Odin looked at her.  "You're mean."

She smirked. "I'm female."

"True.  I had hopes you'd be a nicer one though."  She snorted and shook her head.  "Very well then.  I'll leave this in your hands, Loki.  I'll want him bound and unkilled if possible, killed if you must."  He shrugged and nodded.  "Thank you."  He stood up.  "Thank you as well, Headmaster.  You seem to give my son a purpose each year.  I know he fretted last year."

"That's because he had three cursebreakers in his classes and a consort veela, who he all missed because he was rather...tied up," Ginny told him.  "Which did upset us horribly.  Ron was really looking forward to meeting him."

"I'm sure he was.  What family are you from?"

"Weasley."

"Findergard's line," Loki offered dryly.  "Makes sense, doesn't it?"

"Quite," he agreed, staring at the young girl.  "You're as fierce as any of that line's warriors, girl child.  I wish you luck finding a man who's strong enough to mate with you."

She snorted.  "Who said I won't end up liking girls?"

"If so, I'll send a few of ours down for you to pick from. You'll need a fierce woman to soothe and help you with your life's work," he promised, nodding at his son.  "Don't be too mean to your brother, Loki.  He's having a bad week.  His last girlfriend tossed him over because he was arrogant."

"Thor, arrogant?" he asked dryly.  "That's shocking.  Who would have thought?"

Odin looked at him, sighing and shaking his head.  "I wish you two would get along better."  He disappeared from that spot, and the thunderstorm outside cleared up as well.  "Be safe, and behave," he called back.

"Me?" he asked dryly, looking up with a wicked smirk.  "Why ever for?"  He looked at the girls.  "All right then, research tonight in the library about that dragon.  Yes, you may change and come in normal clothes, I won't care.  No taking it on without me being present."  They all nodded.  "Good.  Then I'll tell Harry who that idiot is so he can deal with him...."

"Him?" Ginny squeaked.

"Him.  He apparently was trying out his gender switching and got stuck.  He makes a smashing middle aged woman though."  He looked at the girls.  "Leave that part to me unless he asks, ladies."

Dawn gave him a cool look.  "Doubt it," she said, Luna and Ginny nodding behind her. She looked at the headmaster.  "Ever think of a long vacation, sir?"  She walked out with her posse, going to their next class.  It was Potions and she needed to talk to Snape as well.  He gave her an odd look when she walked in so she whispered in his ear, getting a nod.  "Thank you, sir.  We'll let you help us with the dragon when we catch it.  Maybe you can get a few scales or something."  She winked and strolled out, heading to her next class, which was Herbology.

"Sorry we're late, sir, the Headmaster had us in his office," Ginny offered.  "He's still got Professor Armwrench up there."

"So I heard," he hissed, staring at them.  "Sit down and work, ladies."

"Yes, sir," Luna agreed happily, sitting down and getting to work.  She enjoyed him much more now that Ethan and Wesley had explained him to her.   She'd almost feel sorry for the poor guy if he didn't have Holly in his life.

***

Ron walked into the pub and looked around, then at the note in his hand.  He caught the bartender's eye and let him see the note, getting a nod up the stairs.  He mouthed 'thanks, mate' and headed that way, skipping up them.  He tapped on the door and walked in at the grunt, finding his girl bent over Harry's prone form.  "What's happened?"

"He's a bit drunk."

"I can smell that," he agreed, coming over to check on him.  "What happened?"

"We found him, the him writing the books.  He's transfigured himself into a girl.  In the twin's year."

"Wonderful.  Their friend Lee?"  She shook her head. "Pity.  They've been missing him."

"He's working for Witch's World," she offered, bending down to go back to trying to get Harry to wake up.  "Harry?"

"Potter, get your miserable ass out of that bed," Ron said in a direct imitation of Snape.  Harry moaned and batted at him.  "Well, at least it's something."

Dawn leaned down to whisper in his ear, making him sit up and pant, looking around in horror.  Then he glared at her.  "You needed to get up," she said with a small grin and a shrug.   "Have you seen Ginny?"

"No, all I saw was the big, blond guy getting me drunk last night so I wouldn't act rashly toward the person screwing in my life."  He looked at Ron.  "The Dursleys have written a book in response saying I'm a prince and I made them my slaves."

"Weren't they memory charmed?" Dawn asked.

Harry nodded while he yawned and stretched. "They were when custody was taken from them."  He stood up and found his glasses and his shirt, putting them both on.  "Let's go."

"Harry, you need to get a bit more presentable," Ron offered, looking him over.  "You look like you went on a bender and you stink like you spilled a good few cups on yourself."

"Yay," he said dryly, taking out his wand to do a quick cleaning charm they did in the field.  "Better, Ron?  You sounded like your mum."

"There's a reporter down there," Dawn said with a small grin.  "She stared at me like I was holy."  She walked down with him, arm-in-arm, while Ron walked behind them until he could take her other side.  The reporter pounced on them and Dawn gave her a look.  "You look like you're gonna piss yourself," she noted.  "Bad week for news?"

"Just for gossip.  Mr. Potter, were you drinking to forget someone?  A girl perhaps?"

"No, I was drinking to help the guy buying me drinks forget his girl problems and my family problems.  Anything else, ask my aunts, please."  She nodded, backing out of their way.

"Was it true, what your relative's book claims?"

Harry stopped and looked at her.  "No," he said impatiently.  "It was not true.  It was in no way true, and why are you reading trash put out by someone who has a memory charm on them?"  She looked stunned.  "Look at the matter of my custody, dear.  You'll find I was *taken* from them by the Ministry.  For a very good reason.  As a matter of fact, I'm headed for that office right this moment so you can lurk near there and catch the people as they run away in fear."  He turned back around and headed off through the floo.

Ron came out the other side and dusted Dawn's backside off for her.  "Where's Ginny?"

"We don't know.  She changed clothes for dinner and saw someone walking something she thought was a unicorn up the path from the village, so she went out to meet them, and then Hagrid saw a pretty flash of silver and gold light and there was no one there.  Dumbledore just smiled and said he was sure she was fine and had been taken to look at a new herd.  Since we know who wrote the first book and we found autographed copies in his office, I'm pretty sure he's about ready to hide under his desk at the moment."  A few aurors walking past them looked back at her.  "Eyes forward, boys, my ass is a national treasure but it's only for curse breakers."

That got a few snickers but Ron did put a possessive hand on it to make them stop staring.  Harry opened an office door without knocking and walked in, making the man behind the desk look up and his eyes go wide.  "Why and how did my relatives break their memory charms?" he asked calmly, trying to keep his voice quiet.  "And why did no one think to warn anyone, including me, that they were putting out such a ridiculous lie about me?"

"Huh?" he asked intelligently.  Harry slammed a paperback book down in front of him and leaned closer.  The guy blinked a few times.  "If you could calm down, Mr. Potter?"

"No, I bloody well won't calm down!" he shouted.  "This is the second book that's come out about me and this one was by someone who you supposedly memory charmed!"

"Let me look," he pleaded, taking the book to look at it.  He read the back cover and groaned, then looked at him.  "I'm assuming they were broken free by the other set," he offered gently.  "Someone probably gave it to them and as they read it, things came back.  It's rare, but it can happen.  You do have the right to take action against them for this however.  You can file a suit to stop them and all future sales of this piece of trash.  I'll back you up in court if I have to.  We store all pensieve investigation results and I checked on yours when that first book came out."  Harry stood back up, looking at him.  "That's how I would handle it.  A court case is very open and very public, but will stop those rumors they're countering with once and for all."  He looked over as his office door opened and someone stuck her head in.  "Tonks, you can have him in a moment."

"Sure, mate.  Hey, Harry, Ron, Dawnie."  She grinned at them.  "In here about those relatives?"  Harry grimaced and nodded.  "Where'd they move to?"

"Some other part of Surrey.  They've changed their names too," Harry said bitterly. He tossed her the book.  She looked at it, then shuddered and handed it back to Ron.  "Exactly."

"Saw a copy and we've been huntin' 'em for ya, Harry."

"I like his idea," Ron admitted, looking at the auror who handled child abuse cases.  Then at his best friend. "Public and no one can say it won't be the truth."

"Point," he admitted grimly.  "It's still very public."

"They know anyway," Dawn pointed out.  "I'm betting about half the world has those books on their shelves at home, if not in the office."  She pointed at the auror's copy and Harry shuddered. "Maybe you can act against that author too."

"We figure that they're starting to get little things wrong already," Tonks offered.  "Besides it's a pretty good read."  Harry glared at her.

"It's also gotten some other children who have been hurt to come forward," the other auror said gently.  "Some take strength from it and others realize what's going on in their homes isn't normal.  We've had a two hundred percent increase in reports of abuse since the first book came out.  Mostly true ones."

Harry groaned, rubbing his face.  "I still don't like it."

"I wouldn't either," Tonks assured him.  "Feels like invasion of privacy and rape to me."

Harry nodded, looking resigned.  "It is.  But you're right, there's inaccuracies in the first one and the second one."  He looked at his friends.  Who both nodded.  "Fine, we'll go with the court case.  I'm sure Uncle Alex has a lawyer somewhere."  The auror dug out Harry's file and handed over the card that had been presented to him.  "Why do you have this?"

"Someone had to do the legal paperwork for your custody switchover with the Ministry. He's on retainer the last I knew."

"Thank you."  He looked at Dawn, then at Tonks.  "Hey, Tonks, where did Ginny go?  Dawn said she disappeared from school last night but Dumbledore's not really looking too worried."

"Not a clue, Harry.  There's no auror up at the school this year."  She grinned.  "Can I go break in his door and question him like in the old days?"

"Please," Dawn agreed.  "Luna's worried sick about her because of the way he's unconcerned."

"Hmm.  Interesting."  Tonks gave them all hugs as they came out, giving Harry a pat on the back too.  "I'll keep an ear out, Dawn.  Harry, you be a good boy."

"I'm always a good boy," he snorted.  "I've got Ron, Uncle Alex, and Bill all looking over my shoulder every few minutes.  I can't get into trouble with them there."  He walked the couple off, taking them out of the Ministry and down the alley to visit with the twins and have some breakfast.  The twins always had food because their kids liked to nibble.   He walked in and grinned.  "We're borrowing your kitchen table and some cereal."

"Yet, you don't look like our twins," one of them said dryly.

"Nor do you smell like them," the other pointed out.

"Looks like someone went on a bender last night," Tipsy finished.

"I was having a pint and feeling puny when this big blond guy came up to me and started buying me drinks to make himself forget about a girl," he said with a small shrug. "It worked, I didn't go to kill my relatives for their supposed work of fiction."

The twins just nodded and Tipsy gave him a hug.  "Cereal's in the normal spot but we've got to go shopping later.  There might not be any milk.  Joxer was trying for the refrigerator to get some."  She pinched him on the butt, making him jump.  "Lindsey's coming up for the last day of her spring break."

"That's cool, we'll have to see what's going on with her," Ron said happily, beaming at them.  "Mum's livid, I'd not call home."

"What did you do," Tipsy asked.

"This time?" a twin finished.

"Or should we simply get the blackmail journal and let you write it out yourself?" the other asked.

Dawn beamed.  "Charlie told her she's not getting grandkids from him and to quit nagging him for a few days or he'd turn to blokes and start to take it up the bum."

"A direct quote," Ron said smugly.  "Heard it while I was coming down the stairs.  Said he'd be buggered by a dragon before he had any tots like yours, who'd then hurt his dragons."

"Ours would only cuddle them," Tipsy defended but she was grinning.

"Love, making him babysit...."

"Would be mean," the other finished.

"But productive."

"We could have that night on the town we've been wanting."

"Hmm, or a weekend away again," the first twin noted.

"Yes, but then we'd have to cart the kids to Romania with bags and sleeping pens and the like," the first sighed.

Tipsy grinned at them and shook her head.  "No, we won't.  Dawnie?"

"Not a chance," she snorted.  "I'm not that brave, honey.  I'll stare certain death in the face but not him with those horrible minions of yours."

"Minions?" Tipsy asked.

"I like that," the first twin said in awe.

"Little vampire prankers," the second twin agreed happily.

"Little messengers of doom and apocalypse," Harry pointed out dryly.  "By the way, is Iolaus supposed to be trying to hang his sister off the light fixture?"

The twins hurried back there to stop them, letting Harry get his breakfast so they'd help him eat it.  It'd keep them calm for a few minutes.

"Let mum babysit," Ron hissed.  "She's got to be down and Joxer always makes her and dad smile."

"The last time I did that, she came out with green hair with blue stripes."

Dawn just shook her head, walking back into the kitchen.  "Guys, if we don't behave, I know very well that the Santa person coming this holiday won't bring a single present or piece of candy."  All four kids stared at her in horror.  "So we've got to behave at least a bit and not try to kill each other, any parents or relatives, or destroy the store, okay?"  They all beamed, they could live with that. "Thank you."

Joxer hugged Dawn's leg, smiling up at her.  "Candy?" the little girl asked pitifully.

Dawn smirked at her.  "Nice try.  That's nearly as good as the slytherin trying to date me does."

"Who do I get to kill this week?" Ron asked dryly, looking over at her as he hugged one of the younger set of twins.

Dawn smirked.  "He makes a girl feel pretty, Ron.  Even if I'd only be a cover for his gayness."  She sat down with Joxer in her lap, letting her steal some cereal from Harry's bowl with her little fist.  "Are you guys still looking for Lee?" she asked the twin back there with them.  He nodded, smirking at her. "He's working for Witch's World.  McGonagall was most pleased with him when she saw his last article."

"I'll have to write him later," he said fondly, pouring himself some more coffee.  "Guys, Grandmum needs a hug.  Uncle Charlie was mean and said there's not going to be any cousins for you to play with.  Wanna go hug the grandmum?"  They all smiled at him so he gathered them and a diaper bag up, going to impose on his mother, who was lying on a couch with a cloth over her head.

Iolaus wiggled down so he could climb up on her and lay on her chest, getting comfortable.  "We love you."

"I love you too, dear," she said with a small smile, patting him on the back.  "Going to destroy the kitchen?"

"No, Unca Charlie," he said with a beam when she looked at him.

"Him naughty," Joxer agreed. "'Serves spanked."

"He does," that twin agreed with a grin for his mother. "I figured they'd be the best medicine for the headache you have.  Besides, Charlie's kids would have to be half-dragon and then they'd smoke in the house, which you won't allow dad to do."  He grinned and disappeared.

The other two twins climbed up and snuck up their grandmother to hug her too.  She gave good hugs.  "Candy?" one asked, beaming at her for her audacity.

"Santa?" the other asked.

Molly laughed and patted them all.  "Yes, we'll talk about the holidays.  You two are just about old enough to take the best joy from them."  She tried to move but was hugged.  "Can't I get up, children?"  They shook their heads and snuggled in, Joxer curling up above her head to get her there so she wouldn't have to share.  "I love you four too."

***

Harry looked at the goblin lawyer his uncle had on retainer and stretched.  "Sorry, long night."

"I've had those as well," he agreed, putting down that book.  "It's all false?"

"The other set is very close to the truth.  Only has a few inaccuracies," he said quietly, glancing around.

"The office is sealed for the protection of my clients," he assured him.  "The aurors?"

"Took custody of me from my aunt.  I'm guessing it's a joint office between Unmentionables and the aurors."

"Unmentionables go to question, aurors enforce the orders," he noted calmly, looking at the young man.  "What do you want out of this?"

"Them to stop it, them not to make a profit from it, and them to bloody miserable for trying it."

"All doable.  In our legal system, they would have the right to wizarding council, but they would also be under veritasium while being questioned, like you would be.  I can have the courtroom closed to any gawkers, but I can't promise it won't leak."

"The other books are already out there," Harry noted with a hand wave.  "Can't get much worse."

"It probably could, but we'll see," he promised, leaning over to shake his hand.  "Leave this in my capable hands.  Where are you heading for today?"

"Back to the manor, going to finish doing wash and repack, then we're heading to the Malgadesh site tomorrow."

"Interesting," he noted, making note of that.  "Your uncle?"

"With us.  Bill Weasley as well."

"Thank you.  I could be calling Ron and his parents at some point in time.  Would that upset you?"

"If it helps," he said with a shrug, standing up.  He shook the goblin's hand.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  It's one of the more fun things I do for your uncle.  Tell him to call me later about his will?"  He nodded.  "Thank you, Mr. Potter.  Have a good trip."  Harry beamed as he walked out, heading to gather Ron from the bookstore.  The goblin made more notes and called in an assistant, handing him that book.  "I want the author of this found, served with a notice of a court hearing.  I'll be filing in a few moments.  I also want an exact account of what they said for said filing."  His assistant nodded and hurried off to do that for him.   "Going human was a good choice," he said quietly, going back to his planning of how to do this.

***

Alex looked at his lawyer later that afternoon.  "My will?"

"The last one you did was nearly seventy years ago and you left everything to your remaining family, no stated heirs, and your girlfriend of the time.  I believe you should update it."

"You know this is going to cause someone some pain, right?"

"Still, better pain now than when the court doesn't recognize being reanimated or resurrected for the purposes of inheritance and your nephew's aunt and uncle get the manor house."

"Hmm, good point," Aunt Cordy said as she came in.  "I just expected everything was in Alex's name."

"Everything is but three family vaults," the goblin assured her. "They're listed as Dumass family assets and only the present head of the family can get into them, but he has written a letter to the bank authorizing yourself and his father into them as well."  He saw Alex's subtle headshake and left it there.  "Shall I send on a list to you in Malgadesh?"

"Please.  You're right, I'll have to add Dawnie to the family tree as well."

"True," he agreed dryly. "Plus Severus as well."

"Fine," Xander agreed, smirking at him.  "Send it on.  I'll deal with it while I'm on the dig."

"Thank you, Alex.  I knew you'd be willing to keep us from having to disappoint others.  Do you want to add yourself to Harry's suit as an offended party?"

"No, but you might ask Ron.  It's his life they're trashing."  He raised an eyebrow.  "Can I go kill my niece and her husband?"

"No, not with the suit being active.  Unfortunately that could be pointed at as a prejudicial act against the other side."

"Pity," Aunt Cordy said dryly.  "Do let us know how that goes, dear."  She pinched her nephew's cheek.  "You behave, dear.  I know it's going to upset your father, but we'll have to figure out who has legal standing and who doesn't."  She left, going to the kitchen to make some tea for her and his father.

Xander looked at the goblin.  "How bad?" he hissed.

"The Ministry would be able to authorize a new identity for them and recognize them as living.   You'd have to call in some favors."  The cursebreaker nodded. "Then again, there may be a way around it."  He shrugged.  "I'm still working on it, Alex.  Do you want me to handle Harry's suit personally?"  Alex nodded.  "Very well then.  Do remember to write Severus to see if there's anything he wanted in particular."  He disappeared from the floo.

"That's not a bad idea."  He wrote out a quick message to him, sending it on with Dawn when she went back.

***

Dawn walked into the school, smirking at the Headmaster and McGonagall.  "I'm back," she announced happily.  "Harry's pissed but he's suing his relatives.  They left for Malgadesh this morning right before I did.  I've got tons of homework to do, including a paper for Alex, which I've got to present when I get there.  I've also got a letter for Professor Snape."  She looked at the very still adults. "What?  Did they send themselves off plane or something?"

"No," McGonagall said, shaking herself free.  "Why is Mr. Potter pissed?  Beyond the obvious?"

"His relatives wrote a book saying he was a prince who was holding them as slaves."

"They did what?" she asked, staring at her.  Dawn pulled out the book and tossed it to her, letting her see it. She read the back cover and snorted.  "What utter rubbish."

"Percy called it stuff and nonsense when I took Harry's letter to him earlier.  Yes, he's that pissed.  By the way, we're working on the family will again.  I'm being officially added to the Dumass family tree by the end of the month," she said proudly, smirking at them.  "Let me deliver this other letter and I'll join up for my next class?"

"Which is Potions anyway," Dumbledore assured her.  "Your bag and dog are already down there."

"Thank you, sir."  She blew a kiss at him as she strolled that way, waving off the book.  "I've got another copy for him."  She strolled down the halls, heading down to the dungeons.  She tapped on the door, getting Snape within a moment.  "May I?"

"Go to my office, Miss Summers."

"Sure.  Thank you, sir."  She headed around him and into his office, smiling at her napping puppy on his desk chair, settling in to pet him until she was joined.  She pulled out the book and the note as an afterthought when he did come in, handing them back.

"What's this?"

She looked at him.  "Harry's relatives wrote some trash in response to the novels."  He gaped and she nodded.  "Utter and complete shit, sir.  With delusions of bondage no less."  He shuddered at that.  "The other is from Alex.  His lawyer is making him update some family stuff, like the will and the family tree so I'm on it."  She picked up her dog so he could have his desk chair.  "There you go, sir.  Let me dig out my homework for you."

"Please.  Am I looking at any of your assignments for Alex and this new site?"

"You can if you want," she offered.  She pulled that out as well, letting him have his homework scroll first and then the assignments from Alex.  "I figured you and Professor Flitwick would both be looking over my shoulder for that paper he assigned."  She stood up, turning to look at him fully.  "Sir, any news on Ginny Weasley?"

"No," he said dryly.  "Then again it's only been a few days and she has taken off with a unicorn herd in the past."

"Actually she was riding one this way," she said dryly.  "And it didn't sound like she took off with one of them with how Hagrid described that flash of light that took her away.  Gold and silver?" she asked at his odd look in her direction.

"Point," he admitted.  "I will talk to Professor Armwrench when he comes back in a few days."  She nodded at that.  "Any news on that dragon?"

"I do actually," she offered with a grin.  "Alex had a book on that whole family of dragons.  Somewhere in that mess from Alex are my notes on it."  He searched and found it, reading it quickly.  She frowned at him, looking him over.  "Sir, if you don't mind my saying so...."

"I do, Miss Summers."

"Sir, shut up.  Why are your eyes red?"  He looked up at her.  "They are, sir.  Maybe you should get them checked out?"

"I"m fine. I can see very well."

"If they weren't harmed somehow you'd be saying perfectly.  Or as usual."  She stared him down, then sighed and shook her head.  "Fumed?"  He nodded.  "Should I have a subtle word with Madam Pomfrey on your behalf?"

"Holly already has and she's already done an eyewash for me.  You do not need to fuss over me, Miss Summers."

"No, sir, but I'm one of those fussy sort of women.  My mother was the same way," she said with a smirk.  "I learned at the knees of the best, one who fed vampires cocoa while discussing their love life."

Snape shook his head.  "At least you didn't say your sister."

"No, she doesn't have the energy to care usually."  She leaned over, looking at him.  "Sir, your left eye is becoming cloudy.  I think you should go back up there."

"Unlike you I cannot leave my class unattended."

"Sir, if you go blind, you'll have to retire and let Greg have the class anyway," she said dryly.  He frowned at her.  "Really."  She checked his forehead.  "You're warm as well," she offered with a frown.  He swatted at her hands, scowling hard.  "Oh, quit," she sighed, rolling her eyes.  "We're fucking well related, I can fuss!  It's what I do and since Ron's half the world away, you're going to have to suffer!"  She looked around, then at him.  "You'll call Poppy or I will," she said quietly but firmly.  "And I will go running up there like it's a total emergency and make everyone in this school panic and hope Alex is already headed this way."

"You're an annoying twit," he sneered.

"Yay me," she said dryly, smirking at him.  "You can just call."

"Fine."  He lit his small fire pot off to the side of his desk, tossing in some floo powder.  "Poppy Pomfrey."  Her head spun into the small fire and she gasped.  "Miss Summers said I should call.  She claims I'm suddenly warm."

"His left eye's cloudy as well," Dawn told her.  "Just since I've been in here."

"I'll be right there with more of that eyewash, Severus.  Fumigate your classroom and air it out."  Her head disappeared.

"There, you see, I'm right.  Where's the fan?"

"What fan?"

"For air ventilation in an emergency?" she prompted.

"Oh, the blue switch on the wall.  Tap your wand to it twice and say current."  She nodded, going to do that for him.  He went back to trying to read.  She was right but he hated to admit it or she'd fuss more.  He heard the students moving about and came to the door, watching them.  "Why are you leaving?"

"Madam Pomfrey wanted them in the dangerous potion's lab," Dawn said, freezing a bubbling cauldron properly.  "She just went to start the air in there.  She thinks it's something someone's wearing in reaction to the potion, sir.  Just doing as ordered."  She got the last few out and stopped their cauldrons as well, then went to check the rest, finding one last one, which was puce colored, very low in fluid, and it smelled dangerous to her.  "What's this one?  A personal project?"

He came over to look then sneered and put out that fire, going to put it aside.  "No, but I will know who was doing that."

"Adrian Borel was trying to pick it up and carry it out, but he wasn't the panicked looking one.   Timothy was."

"Interesting.  Your own house?"

She stared him down. "If they're doing dangerous shit, I've got the right to complain.  Or have Spike come up from Chicago and eat them. Oh, did you hear?  Remus went to teach in Chicago and brought Spike and Sirius with him."

"That's supposed to be *better* than it was?" he demanded sarcastically.

She shrugged. "Before they weren't using wands, almost no one had their own wand, and they were studying very old muggle science instead of potions.  They actually told people that potions were folk cures and weren't really anything working at all."  He gaped and she nodded.  "Not only that, they didn't teach flying, didn't have uniforms, which was kinda a nice idea, and had none of the traditional magic classes.  Not even defense.  They said that defense was another outdated and unnecessary class for today's witches and wizards."  He grabbed a chair for support, still gaping.  "Lindsey said that they were so far behind she was doing work from a few years earlier and that she was going to end up taking regular health class because that's as close to herbology as they got, herbal shampoos and the like."  He sat down, shaking his head with a moan.  "So when they reformed, they asked Remus to do DADA over there and he brought Spike and Sirius with him.  Angel was almost happy enough to lose his soul again."  He let out a quiet snicker at that.  Madam Pomfrey came in and looked at them.  "I was sharing news from the group in LA.  Remus Lupin is teaching DADA in Chicago now with Sirius and Spike the vampire."

"I'm sure your sister must miss her friends terribly," she offered.

"Well, she more misses nagging Sirius to wear clothes now and then and play fighting with Spike, but not really.  So, how can I help?"

"Can you measure out a cauldron of water, dear?" she requested.  Dawn nodded and went to do so, washing her hands and checking the cauldron she selected first, then running some cold water for her.  "Thank you. Now take your dog and head to class."

"This is my next class."

"Ah.  I see.  That's fine.  Go ahead and tell Professor Flitwick about your upcoming assignments and then come back.  He should be fine by then."

"Sure thing, Madam P."  She gathered up her papers and went up there with her school bag and Midnight, her chow puppy.  She listened and there wasn't any noise so she stuck her head in, getting a smile and a wave into the empty classroom.  "I was down sharing this with Professor Snape when I figured out he was having problems.  So Madam Pomfrey told me to come give you my assignment sheet so you could look over my shoulder as well," she said cheerfully, grinning as she handed that and her paper for him over.

"Thank you, Miss Summers.  Very thoughtful of you."  He looked at the assignment sheet and smiled.  "Well, that's a bit of research."

"Which I'm good at," she reminded him smugly.  He nodded at that and handed it back.  "Do I copy everything for you?"

"If you could," he agreed.  "What's wrong with Professor Snape?"

"Something was causing fumes and making his eyes hurt."

"Ah.  That happens now and then.  Thank you, dear.  And hello, Midnight."  The puppy barked and came over to lick his hand.  "Good boy."  He gave him the pets he wanted and then the duo walked out together, going back down there.  "Alex is a crafty one," he said happily.  "That bit of research should keep her busy most of this term."

Dawn found Madam Pomfrey forcing Snape to lie on his couch and cleared her throat.  "Need more help, Madam P?"

"No, dear, thank you anyway," she said happily.  "Can you contact Gregory?  He won't be able to teach for a few days."

"Sure."  She walked over and touched Snape's arm, concentrating very hard until she felt a surprised person on the other side.  "Hmm, Professor Methos.  Ah, there he is."  She sent the quick message that Professor Snape was ill due to a reaction in class and needed to see Gregory about subbing, then disengaged and looked up to find Professor Methos striding in.  "Sorry, sir."

"I had forgotten we still had to initiate you."  He looked at her. "How did you do that?"

"I'm odd that way," she said dryly.  "Ask Armwrench."  She stared him down until he smirked at her.  "So, any broody mood cows yet?"

"No, MacLeod is long gone for the time being.  He'll probably try to pop around for the holidays."  She handed over her assignment sheet, making him smirk at her. "I'm not a source to be used."

"Oh, I know, but I figure I could probably use you to verify rumors versus truths."

"Possibly.  We'll see."

"Of course, sir."  She looked at Madam Pomfrey.  "Can I go gas the kids in the other room?"

"No, dear," she said patiently.  She heard running feet and looked out of the office as one of the twins ran in.  "He's fine, dear."

"He's bloody well not if he's unconscious!"  He came in to look him over, then looked at Dawn.  "You're a handy bit, Dawn.  Let's get him upstairs.  Greg's at the Ministry for the week-long reupping of his Mastery.  I'm sure we can work around it.  If not, I can sub for his lesser classes."  Snape groaned.  "Me or Tipsy, old man."

"Sandburg?"

"Going out of his head with the whole disowned thing," he said bitterly.  Dawn looked at him.  "Sacred bonds were broken."

"I'll see what I can find in Alex's library and here since I've got to spend so much time in there anyway."

"Thank you, Dawn."  He kissed her on the cheek, helping move the professor onto the stretcher she called up.  "Who's the next group?" he asked Dawn.

"Mine.  The others are across the hall.  He said it was a reaction and we found a puce cauldron that made him give his happy, mean smirk."

"Puce?"  He walked out to sniff at it, then sneered.  "Stupid, utterly stupid.  Creating Pixie Lust in his classroom and doing it much too strongly.  What was the rest working on?"  She pointed at the other cauldrons.  He examined them and nodded.  "That would create a fume.  Anything like Pixie Lust potion would fume against that and cause eye issues."  He smiled at the Headmaster.  "Greg's reupping his Mastery, so I'm subbing until the substitute can get in."

"What's happened?"

"Fumes.  Discordant potions reacting against each other.  Madam Pomfrey, go ahead and call the shop, Tipsy should be able to tell you which antidote works well against Pixie Lust.  It was one she was working with recently so she did all that research.  Just in case the older twins got sneaky again."  She nodded, hurrying out. He touched his tattoo, getting a response and a smirk.  "They're worried he's grabbing his arm," he told Methos dryly.

"He's rolled up his sleeves by now," he retorted.  "Who, Miss Summers?"

"Adrian Borel was trying to pick up that cauldron but Timothy Titmore looked like he was about to shit his pants," Dawn offered.

"Very well.  I believe I should go talk to the students," Methos noted, heading across the hall to do so.  He slammed open the door, staring at them.  "You will all be in here for a bit longer.  We will know who was brewing and messing about with the Pixie Lust potion because it was what caused the fumes that are creating the present harm."  He stared them down, noticing who went pale and who nervously started to rub her neck.  "Should no one come forward, we'll have to test you all."  Six students stepped forward but one still continued to rub her neck.  "And you?"

"I had some mixed into my body powder, but it wasn't an active potion," she defended.  He gave her the glare of death and she wilted, her and three other young women stepping forward.

One raised her hand.  "Sir, I'm their dormmate, I'm not sure I didn't come into contact with it, though it was never my intention to do so.  I don't need more people in lust around me, I see quite enough of that already."  She stared into his eyes and he nodded, making her relax. "Thank you, sir.  Should I go confiscate?"

"No, I'll send Madam Sprout up.  I'm sure she can spot that dratted potion by now.  Besides, I'll have a list of what it's in."  He walked the culprits out and up to the office. He was not going to put up with this today.

Dawn stuck her head in.  "Guys, they just carried Professor Snape out of here on a stretcher moaning about a headache and his eyes going.   This is *so* not making some people happy but we're getting a sub in one of the Weasley twins until Snape's former apprentice can show up."  The Hufflepuff's looked alarmed at that. "You guys remember Greg right?" she asked with a grin.  They all nodded.  "Him."

"Oooh, he's cute," one girl whispered.  She was a Slytherin too.

"He is, and he's married to a veela," Dawn reminded her smugly.  "A very jealous one."  She ducked back out, closing the door behind her.  She smirked at the twin.  "My class is next.  Where did you want us?"

"Out here in the hall for now, Miss Summers.  We'll talk about this year's initiation soon enough."  He patted her on the back and looked at the other room, then at her.  "The culprits?"

"Professor Methos drug them off."

"Thank you, dear.  I'd give points but I don't think it's allowed."  He went in there to go back to his airing out and cleaning up.  He'd done so many nights during detention.  It was almost a fond memory for him.

***

Greg stomped into the school, nodding politely at McGonagall as he walked past her.  "Severus?"

"He'll be fine.  It's temporary.  A discordant fume issue."

"That's fine.  Punished already?"

"Quite," she called after him, smiling at his back.

Greg walked down to the dungeons, then slammed open the door, looking at the students who had just jumped.  "Thank you, Mr. Weasley."

"You're welcome, Mr. Sanders.  How did it go?"

"They hate me, still; said it's a grand idea, but impractical.  Until I proved it by curing someone who was horribly ill and in pain. They accepted my new book on that basis alone."  He looked at the students, then walked in and stood behind the desk.  "I am Greg Saunders, I am your substitute Potions professor until Professor Snape comes back.  I am a Potions' master, recently reupped, and I was trained by him as a direct apprentice.  Let's not try my patience.  I have toddlers, I can treat even children your age like them."  They all stared at him.  "Potion?"

"Anti-burn," the twin noted calmly.  "Halfway done."

"Thank you.  My wife's with your wife."  They shared a smirk and then the twin left, going to head back to the shop.  "Please continue, I'll be walking among you to see who needs help in a minute."

Dawn raised her hand.  "Sir, mine's either curdled or it's supposed to be solid by now?"

"Not hardly," he said, coming over to look at it, then at her.  "What did you do?" he asked dryly.

"I have no clue," she admitted.  "This is not my area."  The others nodded at that, she sucked in here.

***

Greg apparated back to his house and looked at his guest, smirking at him.  "Ready?"

"Sure," he agreed quietly, glancing around.  "How is your mentor?"

"Fume inhalation.  Temporary blindness. He'll be fine in a week."  He took his hand.  "Bags?"  Hodges grabbed his suitcase.  "Okay, we're going.  Close your eyes or you'll get dizzy."  Hodges did so and they were off, taking him to deal with healing him fully.

Friendly Beasts.

Minerva McGonagall looked at the young man across from her desk, smiling gently at him.  "You do still have a choice, dear boy," she offered gently.

He shook his head.  "I can't be like that.  I'm a normal guy, I'm not like Greg."

"While that is something to consider, you could go in for the other change he wanted to do.  It would make you appear human."

"But I'd know," he said firmly.

"That is true."  She nodded, smiling at him again.  "That's fine, whatever you wish in this matter."  She picked up her wand and stood up, walking around to haul him to his feet.  "Come, let's get you up to the infirmary, that way any and all pain medicines can be administered if you need them.  We've worked out a quiet corner for you to rest in.  It shouldn't take more than a day but you'll still want to rest."  He nodded, following her out.  "Did you take the time to enjoy it?"

"I did.  It's been like a fantasy vacation," he said happily enough.  "I know I couldn't live this way but I do appreciate the chance to get to see it and everything I did see was fascinating.  So was flying around and being so small.  I just can't.  I'm not like Greg."

"I understand.  Now, he did tell you that if you have children, there's a chance that they could be wizards anyway?"  He nodded.  "Did he mention this shouldn't increase that risk any?"

"He did, but then again I don't plan on having kids.  I don't like kids.  Greg's kids freak me out sometimes just by being normal kids.  Not even the magic stuff where Cassandra turned one of her brothers blue and the other one purple so she could tell them apart."  She chuckled at that.  "Seriously!"

"I believe you. It's one of those innate magics we often see in children.  Especially the strong ones."  She led him into the infirmary, letting him settle on his special bed.  "Get comfortable, dear.  It's going to be a few minutes' work and you'll ache some."  He nodded, laying down and closing his eyes, his hands over his stomach.  "Good boy."  She raised her wand.  Then sighed and shook her head.  "Last chance?"

"No, please."

"Of course."  She cast the first transmutation spell.  It was going to be a long day for both of them.

***

Greg was sitting beside the bed when his buddy woke up.  "You owe Cassandra a story," he said in greeting.  "Promising you'd read her one when you were better and came back meant that she quit trying to turn the younger Weasley twins into something she could cuddle and pet."  He looked at him.  "Don't try to will the change, it could pop back unexpectedly."

"It didn't work?"

"It made it retreat back into a genetically dormant gift," he offered. "For you it's like being latently psychic.  It could come out if you need it but there's no promising."

"Why?"  He sat up, looking at him. "You can't figure out how to remove it?"

"Nope.  Sorry."  He gave him a long stare.  "I'd say that somewhere back in your history was either someone who slept with one of the faerie or a changeling child.   Most of those happened about a thousand years ago in this region, which is well before comprehensive parentage records were kept," he offered dryly, smirking a bit.  "Therefore someone in your family's past got muttered about a lot."

"So, I'm what?"

"Human, fully normal, but you *could* *possibly* change again if the situation was dire enough and you wanted it hard and long enough."

"Aren't you going to memory wipe me?"

Greg shook his head. "Won't work even if I was so inclined, which would be mean of me."

"Why not?"

"You can't erase things that deeply, Hodges.  You can't erase the fundamental truths of who a person is.  Sometimes we can get a rebuilt persona to crumble, but the fundamental basis of who you are isn't something that we can obliviate away.  It's too ingrained and too deep to do that too.  Now, some of the strongest and most power have changed attitudes, and if I had wanted to do that, I'd have done it years ago.  You'd be singing Beach Boys at karaoke bars most nights and lovin' the PBS stuff if I had."  Hodges snorted and Greg grinned.  "Then again, I'm not usually that mean.  Like you said, it was a fun, fantastic, fantasy vacation where you got to see things that most people won't and never dreamed of doing.  Tomorrow night, you get to go back to being a normal guy in the normal CSI way and I'll still let you see the catalogs I get from the Weasleys."

"Thank you."

"Welcome.  But you still owe 'San a story."

"Why does she like me?  I'm not the nicest of people, even to her."

"She likes Snape too," he said dryly, smirking at him as he stood up.  "She apparently likes the meaner and snarlier people in her life.  I had to disinfect her when she hugged Ecklie the other night.  He looked so shocked and she giggled at him for it," he said proudly.  "You should rest."

"I should, but I need to use the bathroom."

"Ah.  This way."  He walked him over to it, tapping first then letting him inside when he didn't get an answer.  "Only one in this wing."  He winked and walked off, leaving him there. "I'm in the dungeons and I'll see you in the morning.  Get some rest."

"Yes, Greg."  He went into the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror.  He saw a white hair and grimaced, but he didn't touch it. It could be the reminder that this hadn't been a really odd dream due to someone drugging him.

***

Emilia answered her phone, smiling at the voice on the other end.  "Detective Brass.  What's wrong?"  She listened and then nodded.  "I understand.  We were told he was on his way to see Blair.  Darryl?  Yeah, it's me," she said fondly, smirking at Blair.  "No, he's asleep again.  We just knocked him back out.  Have the detective take you to our new place, clean up, get some rest, eat us out of house and home, and I'll be by there tonight to pick you up, okay?"  She smiled.  "I know, kid, and I agree.  Did you yell at your father?"  She beamed at Remus and Philip, nodding.  "At the station even.  I'm impressed, man.  Sure.  Tell him I said that and I'll be by to pick you up later tonight.  No, he'll be okay, we think.  We think we found the key to make him stabilize.  No, he's a bit less mentally strict at the moment," she sighed.  "What Jim did to him broke their sacred bond and it drove him nearer and nearer to the edge of his mind.  So he's here now, but not all there if you understand.  Yeah, we think we do."  She listened, then nodded once.  "That'd work, but is there one?"  She raised an eyebrow.  "Really?  Where might his wife be?"  She snorted.  "Figures.  No, you first.  We'll see how that goes first.  Thanks, Darryl, see you soon."  She hung up.  "Darryl ripped his father a new one at the station and then stomped off."

"He was here, but we made him go back," Remus offered.  "I thought it might hurt Blair more."

"It probably won't.  He said he thinks he found another one.  Oh, and Jim's wife left him.  He's been zoning and did it during sex so they're having a trial separation."

"Yay," Philip said bitterly.  "Do we care?"

"We might have to care," she noted patiently.  "I'm not sure yet. Only Blair will know.  So I'll get Darryl in a few hours and bring him back here.  Where is Stanley?"

"At work," Remus said with a grin.  "He had to pull a double tonight."

"Ah.  Good enough.  We'll do the stabilization spell and hope it works, then I'll rest before getting Darryl and bringing him back here."  The men nodded.  "Good deal. Our guards?"

"Spike's outside smoking in the hallway, leaning against the door.  He knows to only let Stan in."

"Fine," she agreed, coming over to take her spot.  She turned off her phone and took Philip's hand, anchoring him as he started them off.

They'd have to wait to see if it worked.  It was a desperation move but hopefully the old Blair would come back again.

***

Professor Armwrench came back from his little trip and looked at the two young women waiting on him, giving them gentle smiles.  "I did find her, she's fine, she'll be home probably within a few days.  I pointed out that she's worried the piss out of you and she said that was a nasty thought, but nice in some ways.  She's got a few loose ends to wrap up first I believe.  She'll have to make a choice but I'm sure she'll make one that suits everyone the best."  He gave Dawn a hug, then gave one to Luna.  "She's fine."

"Where is she?" Dawn asked quietly.  "Just between us."

Loki smirked.  "She is looking after some equine beings, but for a very special reason.  She'll be home soon.  She promised."  Dawn sighed and nodded at that.  "Now, would I lie to you?"

"Hell yes," she snorted.  "The same as Professor Snape would."

"Point," he offered with a wicked grin and a wink for her.  "But you know I'm not."

"I should have kept my big mouth shut."

"He'd have wondered about her when he saw her, even if you or I hadn't said a word about her," he said gently, tipping her face up.  "I promise, she's a feisty little thing and he likes girls like her."  He kissed her on the forehead.  "Now, about this snake or dragon, whatever it is?"

"It's still about," Luna reported.  "We nearly lured it last night but it ran off when it smelled Hagrid cooking dinner. We're using a second year Hufflepuff with delusions of heroes and knights be the pure and innocent bait for us."

"You told her about this dragon?"

"Yes, sir," they replied in unison.

"She thought it'd make a great story for her grandchildren some day," Dawn finished with a slight grin.  "So we're trying again tonight and making sure Hagrid is going to be eating up at the head table.  With you back, I'll be the bait and it'll come for my energy."

"That's fine.  Let me get cleaned up and changed."  He looked at her uniform, then shook his head.  "You two change as well.  Luna, wearing something comfortable, not that dratted leather outfit I spied you wearing the other night.  I don't need to see it slip again."  He headed inside, passing by the Headmaster on his way to his rooms.  "We'll get that dragon tonight."

"That's fine.  I'm sure you three can handle it and it will keep Miss Summers out of more trouble."

Professor Armwrench looked back at him and snorted.  "Dawn?  Trouble?  Why ever for?"  He continued on his trek to put up his bag and change clothes, plus get a bit of downtime.  He hated visiting Valhalla.  But Ginny had been quite funny while he watched her.  Family reunions sucked all his energy and spirit though.  Not even Dawn was enough of a pick-me-up yet.

***

Dawn wandered around the pasture in her favorite outfit of hip hugger jeans and a belly t- shirt, whistling softly.  She could feel the dragon staring at her, could almost feel it snorting its warm breath down her neck.  She glanced behind her but it wasn't really there.  She pulled her wand and did some flashy illusions, and felt it move closer.  She created a flashy Chinese dragon illusion, dancing it through the night sky.  It backed off so she created lights instead, making them dance and twirl with her.  She looked up, moon dark.  She still didn't understand what Alex and Draco went on about during this time of the month, but it was a pretty night.  She nodded at Professor Snape as he wandered out of a side door to the castle.  "Be safe tonight, Professor," she called softly, making him jump.  "It's almost like there's something out here watching me."

He stared at her.  "When you're released for the night, come see me, Miss Summers.  I believe we should talk."

"Yes, sir.  Where?"

"Cast a location charm, you are that good, are you not?" he asked coolly.

"Yes, sir."  She smiled at him. "Happy revel, sir."

"Have fun yourself.  Try blues and greens.  They were woods and water peoples."  He walked off, going to touch the magic as it stopped and restarted the world for another month.  He paused at the edge of the woods to turn to look at the young woman.  She was still dancing the illusions around.  It was in contrast to the magic however. He could see the currents around her and frowned, sending a silent prayer to Armwrench to help her see them.  It'd only attract the beast more on this night of reformation.

Armwrench walked out and brushed the back of her neck.  "You're out of touch with the powers," he said gently.  "Close your eyes, Dawn."  She did so and relaxed, like she knew he'd demand next.  "Now, drop your shields totally. *Feel* the magic, feel it dance and sing around you," he whispered in her ear, watching as the illusions changed, following the trailing wisps moving around her.  "Feel the end of the month power," he hissed in her ear, moving around her.  "It should sing to you as brightly as summer clouds across a night sky."  She took a breath and shook her head slowly so he put a hand on her forehead, connecting his palm to her skin.  He showed her what he could feel, what the rest of her family already knew, watching as she moved with it, just gently swaying for now.  He nodded as Holly walked past them, headed out after her mate.   She could feel it and knew it to be part of her and the usual lunar cycle of power.  Dawn let out a soft moan and he let her go, watching as the illusions danced in time now.  He smiled.  "This is why Alex and Draco celebrate this time of the month, Dawn Summers.  This power that they feel.  It is part of them, part of their family.  Most celebrate the full moon and reap the harvest of joy at it's fullness and pause at the pregnant feeling of waiting, but very few feel this at lunar end.  Very few feel the dance as the magic calls to mate and births the next month.  Tonight, you shall."  She nodded and started to move around.  He looked at Luna, who was staring at them.  "You can try."

"No I can't," she said quietly.  "I have in the past.  I've never felt either one."  She moved away, getting into position.  She could smell the dragon, it was very close by.  The professor moved back with her, waiting and watching Dawn as she moved around the pasture.  The dragon slunk out and watched as she danced, his head and body swaying gently in time to her movements.  She looked at the professor, who shook his head.  They could wait until it tried something.  It would be criminal to interrupt Dawn's celebration of the night and the power.

Dawn shivered, the magic was whispering around her, showing and telling her what her family and friends were doing.  She could see as Holly forced Snape to dance a waltz with her, staring in each other's eyes as they moved to the music of the power threads around them.  She could see as Xander and Draco moved together in a more primitive and primal dance, but the lack of civility suited them.  It made Draco seem even more like a veela, even more like a primal sexual power, and it made Alex seem darker, but more steady and more content.  Like the magic moving through and around him completed him in ways Draco could never fulfill, but only tempt to come to the surface.  She saw them give in to the first kiss, and saw as they fell to the sand to complete the monthly mating, the fierce finish that made her shiver and the gentle touching that restarted a few heartbeats after the magic and the world restarted.  She had to turn away or cry.  They were so in tune, so in love, that it made her ache for her Ron.  She flashed back to the professor and his wife, smiling as the content and sleepy couple lying together in the mossy bed they had put together in their little grove.

The magic faded and she looked up at the dragon, moving forward to pet it.  It pulled back and she crooned the tune she had been dancing, letting her magic flow around it.  "I won't hurt you," she promised, "but you're in the wrong spot, dear one.  It's dangerous here.  Others wish to hurt you."  She reached out and stroked his nose, earning a purr and being grabbed to cuddle.  Luna yelped and started to move but she held up a hand.  "I swear, great one. I would not hurt you.  We would only move you.  Well, Professor Snape would love it if you gave him a few scales and a toenail or something," she offered with a grin.  "But we'd only like to move you to somewhere safer, where no one would hunt you."  He crooned at her so she started to sing again.  He hummed along, purring into her hair, and she pulled the magic together, moving them gently to where she knew Charlie was waiting on them.  She stroked his nose and summoned Charlie out of bed, letting him land beside them in his boxers.  "Great One, this is Charlie.  He's my brother-in-law, kinda, and he protects great ones like you.  You're power and stealth, but you can't live at the school," she said at his hurt look.  "You scare the littles and someone would end up hunting and killing you. I'd hate that."  He crooned and she smiled, going back to humming for him.  They stayed doing that with Charlie watching until the light started to turn less black and more blue, then he shivered and let her go.  She kissed him on the nose, making him purr some more.  "Are you shedding anywhere?"  He leaned down and nudged her head, then licked her face, turning to look at Charlie.  "Take good care of him.  He's an ancient one."

"I can see that," he agreed gently, bowing to him.  "We're not of your original people, but there's plenty of lesser and younger dragons here, Great One.  We'd be happy to host you while you cared to reside here."  The dragon leaned over to sniff his entire body, ending up nuzzling his hair.  "Thanks."  He stroked his chin, earning his own purrs.  "Let's find you a nice spot.  Want a cave?"  The dragon followed him into the woods, following the nice smell of the man who obviously cared for them.  "Thanks, Dawn."

"Welcome.  Professor Armwrench's father wanted him captured but he doesn't deserve to be hunted, I think he's a bit lonely."

"Well, I'll gladly come talk to him whenever he wants," Charlie promised. "Even with some of the fledges if he wants to teach them."  He grinned up at the big, ancient dragon.  "Whatever you want of course."  The dragon sniffled him again then nudged him.  "Sure, food and a cave first, then you can see who's about."  He led him off.  "Thanks, Dawnie."

"Welcome.  I'll try to come visit really soon, Great One."  She gathered the magic and disapparated back to Hogwarts, having to head up the path back to the school.  She passed by the glade and woke the professor and his wife, smiling at him.  "He's with Charley but he left a cave with some shed skin and some spit poison pools."

"Where?"

"The other side of the forest."

"I'm coming."  Dawn walked out of the woods, finding her professor and Luna waiting on her.  "Charlie's got him, he's safe.  Charlie even said he could play with the fledges if he wanted.  He's got a cave."

"That's fine, where?" the professor asked, seeing Snape coming out of the woods.  "We'll share.  Odin only wanted some of his poison for something."

"Sure."  She led them off, going into the woods on the other side of the school.  It was denser here, but there was a track.  They found the cave by lunch and Professor Snape stared at the shed skin and the pool of spittle before hugging her briefly and heading inside to gather his ingredients.

Armwrench smiled and went in to gather a bottle of the spit poison, but otherwise it was all the professor's for all he cared.  He sent the vial off then came back to help him and Holly gather, teaching Luna and Dawn what they were doing.  The girls were really quite handy at this part.  By dinner, they were back at the castle with packs full of the shed skin and conjured bottles full of the poisoned spit and the pure poison where it had been floating on top of the pool.  Snape disappeared down into his dungeons, while Dawn and Luna went to dinner with their favorite professor in tow.  Luna smiled as they walked in and nodded at McGonagall.  "We're done."

"I can see that," she offered with a small smile. "Is it safe?"

"It's with Charlie," Dawn assured her.  "He's a very ancient one and he needed to be protected and have some attention. I think he was lonely."

"Well, Charlie Weasley will surely be good company for him," she agreed.  "Professor Snape?"

"We found some shed skin," Luna offered, winking before going to her usual seat at the end of her table.  "Scoot down the bowls, I'm starved.  Haven't eaten since last night," she complained.  Her housemates stared at her in shock and horror.  "Now please," she requested.  "We did just spend the day gathering remains of shedding and poison spittle."  One of the second years shakily passed her the meat and she smiled.  "Thank you, Hermond.  That's very kind.  May I have the potatoes as well?"  He pushed that down and the other vegetables as well.  Luna liked her vegetables, they had noticed that.

Dawn sat down with her friends and grinned.  "Feed me?" she pleaded.  They stared and passed down things.  "Thanks, guys.  I need this.  I danced with the magic and helped the dragon, plus helped move him and helped gather leftover stuff."  She dug in, eating heartily.  She was not a woman who nibbled.

"You, um, danced with the magic?" one of her roommates asked gently.  "Why?"

She looked at her.  "Alex has always had this thing about moon dark, the same way a bunch of you guys have this thing about the night of the full moon."  They nodded, getting that.  "Well, last night I got to see why he liked moon dark for a bit and I got lost in the magic for a few hours.  So we danced with the magic."  She ate another bite of vegetables.  "It's really pretty cool.  I never got the point of either but now I'll have to pay attention during the full moon to see if it calls out to me.  Last night wasn't quite exactly right for me, but I'm sure there's a part of the lunar cycle that will call my name and be my friend."

The upperclassmen all nodded at that, having been told about Dawn being very powerful.

***

Professor Snape came out of his floo two days later and dusted himself off, walking the envelopes in his hands up to the Great Hall.  It was nearly dinner and his cohorts would be up there.  He found Luna Lovegood and silently handed her one of the envelopes.  She gave him an odd look.  "For the help."

"Ah.  Thank you, sir.  Are we having class as usual tomorrow?  I haven't done my paper yet and wanted to know if I should rush through it tonight instead of Herbology."

"Yes, it will be collected tomorrow and I will expect something extraordinary and completely competent from you this month," he said firmly.  "Base it on your former research."

"Yes, sir, incubus blood and incubus pubic hair it is," she said fondly, heading in to eat.

He shook his head. That girl was just odd.  He had meant the dragon skin but if she really wanted to do an obscure topic, he'd grade it like he had her others on demonic parts.  He went to find Professor Armwrench, finding he and Dawn on the front steps chatting.  He handed them envelopes.  "Your part."

"Thank you, Professor," Armwrench said with a slight smile. "I take some people were quite pleased?"

"And then some," he agreed dryly.  He looked at Dawn, who looked up at him and sniffled. "Do not do that," he warned.  "I do not allow crying women in my presence."

"Then I'd warn Holly she's pregnant and not very secure, sir," she sniffled. "I just saw her.  She really needs to see someone."

He nodded, heading to find his wife and drag or carry her up to the infirmary.  He trusted Dawn's vision on this.  He found her wandering that way anyway and picked her up, carrying her up the stairs.  She gave him an odd look.  "Dawn said there might be a slight problem with our baby," he said dryly.

"Baby?" she squeaked, eyes wide.  "No!"

He nodded.  "She said so."

"My father cursed any child of ours," she hissed.  "The child will be just like him."

"Then I'll ask Lovegood to have Ethan eat him and remove it for us," he said simply, carrying her into the infirmary.  He put her on a bed, weathering the amused look the nurse was giving him.  "Dawn Summers said she saw her being pregnant and having a slight problem."

"Really?  Since when is she a seer?"

"She can see power flows," Holly said weakly, putting a hand on her stomach. "How?"

"A certain waltz perhaps?" he suggested with a hint of a smirk.  "This will be the only one.  I will not have a horde like a Weasley or like Gregory."

"Good!" she said firmly. "I'm not sure I could handle one!"

The nurse tutted and clucked her tongue but did check her over.  "There's the problem," she offered.  "There is a curse so she cannot carry."

"Lovegood!" Snape bellowed.  She came trotting in a few minutes later.  "Kindly remove this curse."

"That's Dawn, sir.  I play with demons, she removes curses."

"Her father did it."

"Ah.  Then we'd best get the best for her.  You should call Alex."

"It is his grandchild," Holly said weakly.  Dawn came trotting in and hugged her around the stomach, muttering into it.  She felt something snap and looked at the nurse.  "Tell me I'm not miscarrying the baby I've had for three whole days."

She checked her again and shook her head.  "No, not in the least.  The curse did snap however.  It appears it's been reset against your next one."

"That's what I was going for," she agreed.  She looked at them.  "Professor Flitwick and I can work on how to eliminate it after the birth, Professor.  I'm happily nearly out of research materials to deal with at the moment."

"That would be most thoughtful, Miss Summers.  Thank you for warping the curse."

She smiled.  "Not an issue.  But I get to babysit now and then."  She beamed at them.  "You should tell Alex, he'll be jumping up and down because this means he doesn't have to have another one."

"Fat chance," Holly snorted.  "There's got to be another Dumass to carry on the line.  Even if his father gives him more brothers or sisters, there's got to be more Dumasses than there currently are."

"Then we've got to find a way to make Draco pregnant," Luna said plainly.

Snape stared at her. "Miss Lovegood, you've just given me nightmares for the next month.  Kindly do not speak again for a bit."  She smiled.  "I will take points," he warned.

"If it makes you happy, sir," she said happily, beaming at him. "Can we help with the baby shower?"

"Sure," Holly agreed.  "Dawn, go tell everyone."  They ran out together and she looked at Severus.  "He really will have to have more since you don't carry his name, but I would tell him before he hears it from Ron."

"Hmm."  He touched his tattoo, getting Alex, although he did sound quite sleepy.  He gave him the news in his most bland and general tone, and about the curse being worked on just in case an accident happened and a second baby came to be.  The shout he got back could have been physically next to his ear.  He felt deafened. "He's swearing.  He thinks Cordy will make him have one now."

"Probably," Holly agreed with a grin.  "Tipsy and Emilia suggested Catherine Willows have it for him."

He considered it.  She had one witch already.  She knew his family and friends and what the dratted boy did for a living.  She had a support network outside of his family because they had all banded together over Gregory's children.  "She could do I suppose," he admitted finally.  "The family might not care that she's not of a blooded line."

"He's related to too many blooded lines," she reminded him.  "The same as you are."

"Good point," he agreed, patting her stomach.  "Should I take any precautions?"

"Don't drop her as you carry her back to your rooms to celebrate," Poppy said with a smirk of her own.  He raised an eyebrow and she smirked harder.  "All first time parents do I'm told."

"Why did you never marry?" he asked dryly.  He helped his wife up and walked her back down there more sedately and properly.

***

Dawn ran into the Great Hall and up to the head table, jumping up on the dias to lean over and hiss in McGonagall's ear quickly, making her beam at her.  She smirked and winked at her, then went over to hiss at Flitwick about the curse, getting a nod and a suggestion of where to start from him.  She looked at McGonagall, who was tapping her glass and went back to her usual seat, staring up there.  The students looked back and forth so she waved a hand, still grinning brightly.

McGonagall stood up.  "Students, I have just heard some wonderful news."  Everyone stared at her and her bright, happy smile.  "I was just informed that Professor Snape and his wife are expecting their first child.  As such, we shall be quite gentle with his wife and quite careful around the both of them until the child is born."  Everyone broke out in cheers for that news.  She smiled at the Slytherins, who were already plotting, a few sneaking off to owl their parents.  She sat back down, looking at Flitwick.  "A problem?"

"Her father cursed the child but Dawn warped it so it would hit the next one.  We're going to work together to figure out how to remove it once this one is born."

"Excellent news.  Let me know if you need my help," she said.

"Me as well," Professor Sprout said happily.  "Oh, we must throw a baby shower, Minerva.  The first one born to the staff."

"We'll plan it for when she's about five or six months along, dear, that way we know what the baby will be."  That got some nods.

Armwrench looked down at them.  "Unless I'm mistaken, it's a girl," he informed them.  "A spell should be able to verify that within a month."  He smiled at them.  "I'll do the food for the event."

"That's most kind, Professor," Professor Sprout agreed.  "Thank you.  I'll start a list tonight and put you down for that."  They beamed at each other. "Will she be like her father?"

"Probably," he agreed. "Possibly not potions but definitely his other areas.  I foresee her being very good in Defense and going to save her grandfather's life some day."

"Wonderful!" Methos agreed.  "Then I'll turn the class over to her when she's ready."

McGonagall smiled at him.  "You're staying that long?"

"If I don't, it's been made clear someone like Lockhart will be taking my place," he said dryly.  "I'd rather wait for a good replacement.  So either his child or Alex."  Flitwick giggled at that.  "He would know."

"He would," he agreed.  "Oh, I must write Remus tonight."

"He's in Chicago from what Miss Summers told me.  "He's teaching defense there."

"Excellent news," he agreed.  "Professor Methos, you should probably spread the news to the rest of the group."

***

In Las Vegas, Greg pulled out his desk drawer and found the book he was looking for, attaching a note to it and sending it through the floo to Snape's private rooms.  He'd be needing it.   He went to check on Hodges, finding him oddly silent and not in the least bit upsetting or snarky.  "Hey," he said quietly.  Hodges looked up, raising an eyebrow.  "Snape's wife's pregnant."

"Tell him I said congratulations.  How far along?"

"Three days," he said smugly.  "He and Alex both like to go revel at moon dark.  Apparently his wife joined him this time."  Hodges did smirk at that.  "You okay?"

"I"m fine, Greg."

"Good.  Remember, I'm here to be yelled at and ranted at if you need me."

"I remember.  Thanks."

"Any time."  He disappeared, going back to his very empty lab.  He sighed and sank down into his animagus form, going to bask under a heat lamp for a few minutes.

Jim Brass walked in and looked at the lab.  "Greg?" he called.  No answer.  "Sanders."

Greg sighed and moved, then changed back.  "What?  I was working on my tan.  It's chilly in here tonight."

"Were you just an iguana?" he asked, looking very confused.  Greg beamed and nodded. "I don't want to know," he said, shaking his head as he walked off.

Greg shrugged and shrunk back down, going back to his getting warm.  He really was chilly.  The air conditioning was working overtime tonight. Then again, so was he.  He was probably just tired.  Maybe a nap under the heat lamp for a few minutes. Someone yelling for him would wake him up.

Catherine and Warrick looked in, spotting Greg under his lamp, then looked at each other and sighed.  "Sanders!" they called in unison.  They heard a snore and laughed, closing the lab door and making sure no one thought anything about it.

"What's Greg doing?" Grissom called from a lab.

"Taking a nap," Warrick called back.

"He said he was cold earlier," Hodges offered as he came out into the hall.  "Is he all right?"

"Probably just the start of his annual cold," Catherine offered.  "Are you okay?"

"I"m fine and he said Professor Snape was three days pregnant."

"I'll have to send them a practical book on childcare," she said happily.  "One with *good* advice, like how to soothe some of the colic."  She went to order one since she was on break at the moment.

Nick backed out of Greg's lab, closing the door.  "Why is there a lizard in there?"

"It's an iguana and it's Greg's," Hodges told him.  "Don't ask. I don't understand that stuff."

Nick nodded once and wandered off, deciding he didn't need to be in there at the moment.  Grissom would start yelling in a few minutes about lab contamination and he decided his last treatment had made him too tired to listen to that lecture again.

Grissom got up and stuck his head in Greg's lab, finding the iguana under the heat lamp.  "Greg, don't do that.  I know you're not touching anything delicate, but really.  You just made Nick go home."  The iguana got up and picked up a dry erase marker, working the cap off with his teeth before using his tail to write on his wall about Greg being tired and Nick needed the rest anyway.  Then he went back to his rest under the lamp, leaving two last words: too cold.  "I'll find you the cold medicine that worked last time," he agreed, going to find that for him.  He had kept a dose in his desk, just in case. He also called someone to turn down the air conditioning in Greg's lab, it was really cold in there tonight.

You're a What And You Ride a What?

A month had passed since Ginny Weasley had disappeared and her friends were very worried about her, still.  No one else seemed to be worried, including her family, but Luna was fretting and it was making Ethan upset and Wesley upset, so others were slowly becoming upset.  Even the twins were starting to get the feeling that they might have to intervene sometime soon.  With everything going on and the assurance that she was fine, they had left it alone, but it had been a month and no one had heard anything about their sister.  It was nearly the holidays and even Molly was starting to fret, even when reassured her youngest was fine by Dumbledore.  Then again she wasn't sure he knew a thing about this.

So Dawn was now pestering her favorite professor to bring her back, and he was trying to get information for them that wouldn't compromise the girl's new chosen job.  Instead, she came home.  He felt the power surge and lifted his head, then looked around.  "She must have felt that," he muttered, going to the front doors to make sure of it.  Luna Lovegood nearly ran him over but Dawn slid around him, McGonagall swearing behind her.  He smiled at her.  "Miss Weasley is back."

"Really?  Now?  After a month?" she demanded sarcastically.  They stomped out there, staring at the young girl.  Her long hair was in a single loose braid down her back.  She was in a short silver leather or hide wrap skirt and what looked like a sports bra made of the same material with furry knee-high boots and a fur cape.  She was just staring up at the castle.

"Ginny!" Dawn shouted, pouncing her to hug.  "You're back!"

"I am, but I'd like to not break," she complained.

Dawn laughed and hugged her less fiercely, letting Luna have her other side.  "Where were you?"

She pulled back, smirking at her.  "I got to meet some of the Professor's sisters.  I got chosen by a certain flying horse."

"You did?" Luna asked.  She glared at the professor, who nodded.  "Then why are you back?"

"I was bored and I'm not a servant," she said firmly.  "I cracked a good few of the blokes up there over heads with their pots and mugs when they got grabby and demanding I bring 'em beer.  Told 'em to get it themselves because I wasn't the maid and I certainly wasn't for hire with the way they leered.  I spent a lot of time in the stables and I figured out I missed you two."

"This was Thor's great plan to irritate my father to the point he went insane," Professor Armwrench offered dryly.  McGonagall looked at him so he shrugged.  "She is a bit feisty.  She's able to be chosen as well.  She meets all the requirements and all that."

"Plus I'm a damn good shot," Ginny reminded him.  She smiled sweetly at her head of house.  "I'm back."

"I can see that.  You're also out of uniform."

She looked down at herself, then up.  "Sorry, workout clothes," she explained.  She looked around, frowning at something.  She felt a nudge and looked back, smiling at her horse. "Did you come to see if there's another like me here?"  Her winged horse nuzzled her, making sure she knew she was staying.  "I'll see if you can, Apple, but I'm not sure if the Headmaster would allow you to stay for a bit.  Then again, most of us have never seen one like you before."  She patted her on the cheek, then walked around to get up on her back.  Her bow appeared in her hand, making her look quite surprised.  "I can't pull that.  I gave up my position."

"Are you feeling the urge to choose?" Armwrench asked anxiously.

She nodded slowly, looking inside.  "In there, in the fourth floor East corridor is a fight," she told McGonagall.  "There's about to be a boy who interrupts to save the girl from the seventh year Ravenclaw who's going to cast an unforgiveable.  Technically he's counted as a virgin, first battle, warrior because he is trying to protect her."  The deputy headmistress hurried back inside. "She'll never make it.  I'll be right back," she muttered, disappearing on her horse.  She landed in the corridor and raised a hand, freezing them.  "Hold it."  They glared at her, even the young man.  "Look, I know this is one of those duels to write home about, but if you cast that, he'll die.  You'll go to Azkaban.  Since I can and did feel you preparing to cast it, I can and will testify against you after I gather him and take him to Valhalla."  The boy's eyes bugged and she shrugged.  "Flying horses and unicorns are both very sweet."  She focused on the other one.  "Now, I'd assume you had some common sense so if I let you go, you'd better put away your wand."  She unfroze them and the older girl started to cast.  Ginny knocked back an arrow.  "Try it," she warned.

That's how Snape and McGonagall found them.  "What are you doing with a horse in here?" Snape demanded.

She looked down at him.  "Sorry, sir, a bit of the calling came with me."

"Calling?" he demanded, looking her over.  "You're...."  She smiled sweetly and nodded, then let the arrow fly when the girl started to mutter a curse.  It pinned her arm to the wall.  "Well, that's very good, Miss Weasley, but you know the rules about weapons in school."  He wasn't sure how to address a student who was also a powerful magical creature now.  Even if she was usually an annoying twit.

"Yeah, but it showed up when I mounted.  I thought I had given up my choice but apparently I was wrong."  She looked at the boy.  "You wouldn't like it there, kid.  It's a lot of beer and greasy meats and dim, flickering torches."  He shuddered.  "Plus, the only women there are sworn virgins.  You'd never get any ever again."  He clutched the girl to him.  "Good choice."  She patted her horse on the neck.  "Nice jump, Apple, very nicely placed."  Her horse snorted and shook her mane.  "Let's go back outside before Filch gets onto us about hoof marks."  They jumped back outside, startling Dawn since she was screaming at Professor Armwrench.  "He couldn't have brought me back, Dawnie."

"He could have told us!" she yelled at her.  "Speaking of, owls don't work up there?"

"I asked, Odin's ravens would have eaten them."  She slid off the furry back and leaned against her horse, looking at her bow.  "Am I on the reserve list?"

Loki nodded.  "Once a Valkyrie, always a Valkyrie, dear.  Did you remember your other things? You might want to change."

She nodded, concentrating really hard.  Her bag and other bow showed up about the same time her mother did.  Her mother caught the bag but she caught her bow.  "Hi, mum.  Isn't it pretty?  I made it myself," she said, handing her that bow.  It was her practice bow, not her official one.  That one went onto her horse's back.  "Oh, this is Apple.  She chose me, mum."

Her mother stared at her, just stared.  Ginny gently hugged her and Molly continued to stare.  Dawn gripped the professor's arm, making him quit laughing but he did inform the other professors that Molly was there for her wayward child.  Dumbledore came down still smiling.  "Ah, Molly, I see someone told you."

"Yes," she said finally, staring at her daughter.  "What were you doing?" she asked finally.

"I'm a Valkyrie, mum.  I thought I had given up my choice to come back but apparently I got put on the reserve list for a bit.  Two of the girls just petitioned to get married and become normal women before they killed some of the men they had saved for the final battle for their grabby hands and the serving things.  So I got chosen by one of the younger horses and went up for some training. I just spent six weeks up there."

"It's only been a month here," Dumbledore said gently.  "And unfortunately you will either have to make up all that work or else you will be held back."

She looked at him and shrugged.  "That happens to the best of us I guess.  What do I care?  Can Apple stay?  There's not many like her in the world and I'm sure the classes could benefit by her nipping the ruder ones who try something against her."

"Indeed.  That's fine.  We'd have to find her a place to sleep.  There's no room at all in the shed the unicorns sleep in."

"I can make a shed for her," she said dryly. "I did learn some of the practical stuff Alex was teaching Ron and the rest last year."  He nodded at that.  "Sorry about the uniform, sir, but this is workout clothes for us.  Give me a moment to change."

"Of course."  He smiled at the horse, bowing gently to her.  "Hello, welcome to Hogwarts.  May we use you as a teaching aid?"

"More importantly, are there others here who can be chosen?" Armwrench asked her.  She looked at him and nodded.  "Tell your chosen so she can talk to them."  He looked around.  "How's there, Ginny?" he asked, pointing at a clear spot.

"I'd rather her be closer to the greenhouses instead of the forest, professor.  How about there?" she asked, creating an illusion where she wanted it.  Her mother gasped and she realized she was using just her hand, pulling her wand out to use it.  "Sorry, mum.  We do have a limited bit of illusion magic with the choosing.  It's part of the being invisible during battles thing."  She looked at the headmaster, who nodded that it was fine.  So she started the crafting spell, pulling roots of a nearby tree up to form the outline of the new shed.  The professor transfigured it into a real wooden shed and then added hay and feed for the beast.  "Thank you, professor.  You must have spent some time in the stables."

"Only way to get away from Thor.  He always hated the smell of the horses."  He walked her that way, chatting with her about things going on up there now.

She pinched him on the rear, making him yelp.  "Hilde said to do that to you because you sent her an ugly cursebreaker to take care of the last time."

He laughed, hugging her.  "I did," he agreed, "but he's quite good.  Not as good as Von was, but still quite good and gentle."

"She figured that out when he babied her bruises after sword practice.  Speaking of, can you help me keep in practice?"

"I am miserable at that sport," he admitted dryly.  "Not really in line with mischief.  I more cause the fights."

"So I heard," she said dryly, smirking at him. "I can ask Alex."

"That would be good.  He is very good at it."  He opened the door, letting the horse into the shed.  "There you go, Apple. I've added some apples and carrots in a hanging string so you can just pluck off whatever you want.  There's some oats in a bag as well, Ginny."

"Thank you, sir."  She settled her horse in, including drawing some water for her.  "There you go, love.  I'll be inside.  Um, professor, if you could turn around?  This skirt is a bit short."  He turned around, smirking at the mother coming this way.  She moved behind her horse and changed her clothes.  The main skirt was just as short but there were long panels between her legs on each side and her bra was exchanged for a longer halter top, which she had trouble adjusting herself in.  "I hate this top."

He glanced back and flicked his hand at her, fixing the sewing mistake.  "The cup was sideways."  He turned back around while she adjusted herself, then came out, undoing her hair and casting a rebraiding charm on it.  It went back into a less messy loose braid at the base of her neck.  "Better," he agreed, changing her boots and putting the old ones in her bag with her cape.  She bent over to lace them up all the way, and he extended them, nodding that he liked that look better.  She gave him a dry look but went back to lacing them up.  "More Greek inspired but they do look cute with that skirt. I always thought so."

"They do and it's not that cold here."  She took his arm, walking out and back into her mother's arms.  "Hi, mum."

"Ginerva Weasley, what are you wearing?" she demanded, pushing her back to look at her.  Her eyes bulged.  "What is that?"

"The official uniform of Valkyries, mum.  This is what I wear into battle under my bronze chestplate and greaves."  She took her mother's arm and walked her on, not minding the snow at all.  It was nothing compared to the Hinterlands she had just been in.  "Am I presentable enough for dinner?" she asked McGonagall, who could only stare.  "It's my official outfit.  Not like I have a uniform with me."

She just nodded, walking off.  Professor Snape continued to stare.  "What?" she demanded.  "Not like it's short enough to show panties or anything."

"Your brother will have a bloody fit," he said calmly, sending him the picture of her and the one from earlier on her horse.  Then he walked her inside, taking her to dinner.  He let her go at the doorway, watching as she walked over to her table and shoved one kid out of her traditional spot.

"Mine, move."

"Ginny!" Colin yelled, leaning over the table to hug her.  "You're back?"  He looked at her.  "You look fantastic.  What is that?"

"Deerskin."  She sat down, smoothing the back longer panel down to sit on it.  "Guys, my mum might be joining us.  Have manners, she will soap mouths of other kids."  They all nodded and she smiled up at the headmaster as he took his seat.  Then up at Hagrid, who was just staring.  "Hagrid, I brought Apple back.  She's in a shed by the greenhouses.  I'll introduce you later and she said she wouldn't mind you showing her off to the students now and then."

"Thank you, Ginny, that's right nice'a ya," he said with a fond smile.  "What're ya wearin?"

"Official clothes."

"Ah."  He nodded once and left it there, sure that Dumbledore had it well in hand.  He always did.

"Yes, she's finally back," Dumbledore agreed gently.  "Thankfully her friends can quit worrying about her now.  Let's just eat.  She can tell you all about anything she's allowed to tell you later."  Molly walked in and he smiled. "Plus, her mother is here as well.  Please be extra mannerly around Mrs. Weasley."

Mrs. Weasley came and pulled her daughter off by her hair, taking her for a loud discussion in the hallway. A very loud discussion in the hallway.  One that got louder when Ron showed up.  Dawn snuck out there, going to hug him to spare Ginny some yelling.

He smiled at her.  "Not now, Dawn, I'm being pissed at my sister.  I'll love you in a bit."  He kissed her on the nose and went back to yelling at his sister, arm now around his girl.

Ginny looked at one of the girls that she knew was being looked at when she walked past.  "Just think, you too could end up in this discussion," she said dryly.  "Just because you're still pure, it's one of the mandates of the job."  She hated the girl and she'd suck at it.  She fainted at the sight of blood. She even told Apple that and Apple agreed with her choice.

The girl looked at her.  "I can fix that.  What are you?"

"A Valkyrie.  I get to choose people from battles."

"I'm going to go fix that right now."  She walked inside and found a boy she kinda liked, hauling him to his feet and dragging him off.  "Ginny said I'm one of the next to be picked up for that job if I'm a virgin.  You're fixing that for me," she told him.

"All right, but we're not dating."

"I don't care!" she said with a touch of hysterics.  "I'd look horrible in that short skirt!"  She found a closet and pushed him in there, letting him fix it for her.

Ginny snickered and her mother swatted her.  "Sorry, mum, but I was around the most lecherous former warriors for the longest time.  I heard a lot of dirty things.  Smacked a lot of hands and heads with pots for being rude and drunken."

Ron looked at her.  "If you gave it up, why are you still like that?"

"Apparently there's a reserve list."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "Fine.  But we will be talking Ginny.  You upset Harry horribly by not letting him know where you were."

"I would have owled but Odin's bloody birds ate them all."

"Do not swear!" Mrs. Weasley said firmly.

"Sorry, mum.  Bad habits from the warriors and all."  She gave her another hug.  "I missed you."

"It won't get you out of trouble this time, young lady."

"Mum, it's not like I had plans of disappearing for six weeks to train.  Oh, Ron, can you please ask Alex if he'll help finish my training with a sword?  I do need the work, just in case, and it's a fantastic workout."

"I'll ask, but you should ask him yourself."

"You're all gone for the next four months."

"Point," he agreed. "I will.  So, you're going to be held back?"

"Quite possibly," she agreed.  She thought at her horse, getting a nod about the girl coming up the halls.  She'd make a great Valkyrie.  She was brave, bold, and liked dirty jokes and mead.  Too bad she wasn't a virgin.  Maybe someone could find a way to fix that.  She decided she'd waylay her later and talk to her about that.  She looked at her mother again, smiling at her. "I'm fine, mum.  Really."

"The strangest thing was, we weren't allowed to worry about you," she said stiffly.

"Not my thing, mum.  I would have written if I could."

"We will be talking over the holidays, young lady."

"We could talk tonight, mum, just let me eat first.  All I've had recently was mead and roast beast."

"Fine."  She walked her back inside.  "Ronald," she snapped when he didn't follow.

"Let me get a kiss first," he complained, kissing his girl deeply.  "Right before I go back," he said with a wink.  He walked her inside, letting her go to her seat while he went to join Ginny at hers.  "Oy, shove down," he complained at the lack of space.  A few of the kids stared at him in shock.  "It's me or Bill to come yell."  They shoved down, thinking he was probably going to be better at this.

Up on the dias, Professor Methos was still staring at Ginny.  "She went where?" he asked finally.

"Just what you're thinking," Armwrench called down the table.  "She's fine.  Father thought she was quite the pisser, loved her for smacking a few of the less mannerly ones on the head with the ale pots and telling them to get it themselves since she wasn't a servant."

Methos groaned and held his suddenly aching head.  "The world will now end."

"As I knew it would," Trellawany noted coldly.  "She is not right for this school any longer."

Ginny looked up at her.  "I'd be the one protecting this school," she mouthed, making the seer shiver.  She looked at Ron.  "Now that you and Harry are gone, it's my turn to protect the school," she told him.  "Hence the fighting lessons I got.  I'm not bad with my bow, spot on actually, and fairly decent for my level of training with a sword."

"I'll tell Alex," he said with a smirk.  "Think you could take Harry in a duel?"

"Yeah, I think I could before.  Harry's a bit predictable, Ron."

"Point," he agreed.  "How about me?"

"We'll have one later," she said smugly, winking at him.  "Before you go kiss Dawn into a coma so she quits sighing in misery at your back."

"Deal," he agreed, shaking her hand.  "Mum?"

"I want no part of that."

"Mum, I promise I won't hurt him," she protested.  "You can watch *and* be proud of me."  She looked at her mother.  "They needed me, mum.  Don't be mad?"

"Oh, I'm still going to be quite upset for a very long time, Ginerva.  This will be coming back to haunt you for years."

"Sure, mum, but if I come home for the holidays, I'll still have to bring Apple.  I'll make her a shed out in the orchard if you want."

"That's fine," she agreed.  "You will be coming home for the holidays since Bill and Ron will be."  She glared at Ron, who shrugged. "He said you were."

"Then I guess we are.  We're apprentices, we don't gt to make those decisions, mum."

"Point," she said dryly.  She looked over her daughter's outfit again, then shook her head.  "That is nearly indecent."

"Mum, I'm completely covered and it's the official outfit.  After all, I've got to be able to ride and fight in it.  I could have changed into my deerskin pants, but they are indecent by the way I get pinched in 'em.  Speaking of, Ron, can I borrow about ten gold?  I've got to go get my wand fixed.  It's got a crack in the handle."

"Sure," he agreed, digging it out and handing it to her.  "There you go.  Don't worry about paying it back.  I've got more."

"Thanks, Ron."  She beamed at him.  She smiled up at the headmaster, getting up to walk up there.  "Sir, I do have one small errand that I will have to run tomorrow.  My wand has a crack, may I have an hour to get it fixed and have my uniforms refitted?  I've gained a bit of muscle and height."

He considered it.  "Fine.  As long as your horse stays here."

"Of course.  I expect half the girls in the school will be sucking up to her tomorrow."  She smiled at him and stepped up to whisper in McGonagall's ear about that one girl.  "She'd be good but there's that one problem.  How do I approach her about that?"

"I'll do so," she assured her, lips pressed together.  "I do agree, she would make a very good one."  Ginny smiled and went back to her seat.

"Another one?"

"When they choose outside the family, it's always from a magical family. Most muggles couldn't possibly deal with the flying horses and things," Armwrench offered dryly.

"I see.  Why would they need to?" McGonagall asked.

"Because in the last two years three of the girls have gotten bored and tired and petitioned to marry themselves off to someone who isn't *so* terrible.  Plus there's five other unmated horses up there."

"Ah."  She nodded. "Very well then."

He smiled at her.  "In your youth you would have made an excellent one, Minerva."

"Flattery will not keep you out of trouble," she said, pinching him on the cheek, but she was smiling.

"No, but it's the truth and this time it doesn't hurt."  He ate a bite of dinner, watching the Weasley reunion.  He couldn't wait until the twins came to see her, or she saw them tomorrow.  Dumbledore looked down at him.  "Was I broadcasting?" he asked.

"No, but I know what you're thinking," he said dryly.  "I'd say that would be more explosive than most of their projects."

"Quite possibly."  He smirked. "All the more for my powerbase."  Dumbledore snorted and went back to eating.

Professor Flitwick sighed.  "I'm supposing Miss Summers won't be anywhere near the library tonight."

"No, probably not, unless he's like that and that kinky," Armwrench said dryly, making him chuckle and pat him on the back.  "Sorry, slipped out," he excused when Snape stared down at him with Methos.  He stuffed his mouth again, hiding his laughter and smile from them.  He didn't know what Ron's preference was, but they might be the library.  He certainly spent enough time in there with Miss Granger in his youth.  He ate another bite, smiling at Professor Callaghan.  "How is Sandburg?"

"Stable.  Sentient again."  He shrugged.  "We're working on it and Jim just went uncontrolled when his wife left him.  We're not sure if it'll work or not this time."

"We'll have to see," he agreed.  "Let me know if I can help, Philip."

"Of course."  He smiled at him.  "I doubt it's the library.  That was always more Hermione's thing than Ron or Harry's."  Methos and Snape stared at him instead.  "Tis the truth," he defended.

Ron looked up at him, raising an eyebrow.  "Philip, I'm not like that.  Look at my past history."  He went back to talking with his sister about her horse.  His mother figured out what must be the subject of discussion and swatted him.  "Ow!  Bloody hell, mum!  I'm grown!"

"Ronald Weasley," she warned.

"Yes, mum," he sighed, slumping down a bit, all for show of course.

***

Ginny walked into Weasley Wizarding Wheeze's in her favorite pair of deerskin pants and her usual top, yawning.  "Sorry, long night with Dawn and Luna gossiping."  She smiled at her sister-in-law.  "Hi, I'm back."

"I can see that.  Where were you?"

"Valhalla."

"You got chosen for the army?"

"No, I'm a Valkyrie on the reserve list."

"Oh."  She blinked a few times.  "Stand just there, dear, in the sunlight."  She went back into the apartment, going to wake up her mates.  The twins had worn them out last night.  She opened her door and smiled at picture they made with the babies.  "Guys, Ginny's back."  They hopped up and headed out to stare at their little sister, both of them frowning at her.  She came back to check the kid at the register out.  "Sorry, she's been gone for a few days."

"That's fine," she said cheerfully.  She smiled at Ginny.  "You look hot in that."

"Thank you, dear."  She smiled and trotted out, going back home.  Ginny held up a finger and walked out to where she could feel someone who should be chosen.  She called her horse, who called home, and another horse came up to grab the girl.  "Hi, Ginny Weasley," she said, shaking the girl's hand when she finished staring at her.  "How much do you like horses?"

"How did you know?"

Ginny pointed behind her.  "That's a Valkyrie's horse.  You'd make a smashing one.  She's here to choose you for an interview.  You might want to warn your mum and dad first.  Mine got a bit upset when I disappeared."

"Really!"  She looked around, then at the horse, who only smirked and followed her back to her mother's side.  "Mum, look who just came for me!"  The mother, as blonde as any Malfoy, went pale.  "Mum, can I go for an interview?  Please!"

She nodded slowly.  "Treat her well, dear."

"Thank you, mum.  I'll be back in a bit."  She got on the horse's back and they were off.

The mother burst out crying.  "She's gone."

Ginny came over to give her a hug.  "Some of us do come home," she said gently, soothing her.  The mother looked at her and gaped.  She smiled.  "We do now and then."

"You're...."  Ginny nodded.  "You're Ron's sister?"  She nodded again, still smiling.  "You know this how?"

"I just got back from six weeks there.  My mare's at Hogwarts with me."  She walked off, leaving it at that so her brothers could shout at her some more in unison and confuse her greatly since she couldn't follow along.  She felt someone pinch her and grabbed the hand, flipping them onto their back.  "I didn't give you permission to touch that," she said plainly.  "Next time, ask."  She continued on, walking into the shop and closing the door.  They were both staring in awe and horror.  "What?  I had to learn to keep the warriors off my bum."

"I can see that," Tipsy said dryly.  "Those pants are very form fitting."

She smiled.  "I know.  Dawn's jealous."

"Well, now I know what to get her for the holidays," Tipsy said dryly.

"Ron would probably appreciate it," she agreed, coming over to sit down.  "I've only got a bit longer, boys.  Then I've got to pick back up my uniforms and my wand."

"Sure."

"Of course."

"How much will you have to catch up on?"

"Or are you being held back automatically?"

"Not automatically, but it's a distinct possibility," she offered. "Then again, I'm the protector at the school right now with Dawn and Luna."

"Oh, wonderful news."

"Give mum a heart attack yet with it?" the other demanded.

"No, but she did burst out crying when I won the duel with Ron," she offered smugly.  "My horse bit him on the back of the neck, distracting him."  Tipsy giggled at that.  "So, dears.  I've got to head back up there.  Anything I should pass around?  New samples or the like?"

"Oh, we have things to pass around," one of the twins said, hauling her up, letting the other drag her into the back with them.  That one stopped to kiss their wife.  "You'd look just as smashing, love," he whispered.  "Get some for yourself."  Then he was off to help his sister become normal again.

Tipsy Ramvette-Weasley blushed.  She couldn't imagine herself in that outfit.  She really couldn't.  Not at her age.

***

Ginny walked into the school, back in uniform but for her sweater and tie, and shrugged at McGonagall's piercing look.  "I tried, I can't stand the tie without being strangled, ma'am."

"You still have to wear it, Miss Weasley."

"Everyone knows which house I'm in," she offered dryly.  She handed over the bag the twins had made up for her.  "Here, from the twins.  I stopped in to say hi while everything was being refitted."

"I figured you might."  She looked at the bag, then inside, smiling at it.  "Thank them for me."

"They said they want an owl if I'm going to flunk so they can gently tell mum."

"Of course."  She watched the girl walk off, sending her schedule to her.  The girl caught it and turned to grin at her.  "It's third."

"Thank you, ma'am."  She checked it and headed that way, wand in her waistband and tie around her wrist for the moment.  She yawned again, she had been up very early to take care of Apple.  She walked into Potions and Professor Snape gave her that same searching look.  "Sorry, sir, the tie's still choking me.  It's either not wear it or wear it sloppy."

"I'd prefer you not wear it undone in here, it could catch fire or fall into your potion.  Sit down."  She nodded, going to sit down and work on whatever was on the board.  He watched her, she had much better chopping skills now.  Must have been the cooking she had done up there.  Of course, this was a two-part potion and the others were on their second day, but the second half was it's own potion and she could probably use the calming effects.  As long as she didn't try to add it in total to the earlier one.  He continued to watch her, deciding he'd be seeing her next year as well.  She was probably not going to be able to catch up to everyone's work.  Then again, Miss Summers would have someone to irritate next year besides himself and his wife.

Ginny finished the measuring and chopping and reread the directions, going to get some water and measure it out.  He raised an eyebrow and she smirked, winking at him.  She walked past his desk, hissing at him.  "I know how to brew this one, sir.  My mum takes it now and then.  Thought I'd do it properly if that's okay?  Since I can't do the first day's?"  He nodded at that, accepting that idea.  Her mother probably did need the calming potion.  She probably needed quite a lot of it at the moment.  He got up to prowl around the room, taking points off a few other students, but seeing if she could pull this one off. It was a common household potion and the girl had proven that she could do those in the past.  By the end of class, hers was still not boiled down enough but it was very close.  He nodded that it was acceptable and he would have it bottled for her.  She smiled and patted him on the arm.  "Thank you, sir.  I figure Mum's about to take the roof off the house with her screaming."

"With the outfit you left in this morning, I'm not surprised," he said dryly, staring her down.

"It was clean," she said innocently.  "And it fit."  She smiled.  "Shall I come back right before lunch to bottle that?"

"That would be acceptable.  Are you planning on coming back next year?"

"I don't know yet," she admitted.  "It'd be handy I suppose, but I don't know yet, sir."  She left for Charms, going up there to deal with Flitwick now.  He was most excited to see what new things she had learned.  He had watched her mock duel with Ron last night with a lot of cheerleading and clapping for her.

Snape checked the potion, sniffing it.  It was well done and properly mixed.  He brought it up to his desk so it wouldn't be in the way and no one else could mess it up by accident.

***

Greg walked back into the station and smirked at Grissom and Brass waiting on him.  "What?  Was I fired?"

"No, we wanted to know how it went," Brass said plainly.

"I'm still listed as a master, I had to sub in while Severus was under care for being fumed nearly to death by a few students who were mixing aphrodisiacs in class with their potion.  Ginny Weasley finally came back from her stint with her new silvery winged horse."  Grissom stared at him and he grinned.  "It's good for her.  She's very stunning now."  He grinned. "So, field work?"

"Get changed.  Meeting's in half an hour, Greg."  Grissom watched him walk off.  "Do I get a report about your Mastery continuing?"  He tossed a tied scroll over his shoulder, letting him catch it.  "Thank you, Greg."

"Good work," Brass called after him, looking at the scroll.  "Well.  Very well done."

"Very," Grissom agreed.  He tied it back up and went to put it in his desk, just in case it was ever needed.

Warrick looked over as Greg came in, smiling at him. "Finally back?"

"Yeah, finally back, and so is Ginny."  Catherine looked around her locker at him.  He smirked. "Her and her silvery winged horse."

"Huh?" she asked.  He leaned over to whisper in her ear, making her shiver.  "Oh, really?"  He nodded, smirking.  "Well, she'd make a good one," she decided.

"She would.  There's other news.  Did I tell you guys Sev's wife's pregnant?"  They smiled and shook their heads.  "He is. He's still grumpy about it, but he did like the books that got sent over.  Thank you, Catherine."

"You're welcome."  She pinched his cheek.  "Get changed.  How was subbing in?"

"Not too bad.  The kids just stared at me for the first few minutes until I snapped at them.  They got down to work after that."

"Which is a good idea," Warrick agreed.  "You'd be a scary teacher, Greg."  He closed his locker.  "See you in the meeting."  He walked off.

Greg looked at Catherine.  "Aunt Cordy stepped up her push against Alex and his lack of named heirs.  Have you gotten a letter yet?"  She slowly shook her head.  "Expect one.  They like you, they're going to try to convince you to convince him.  They figure he shouldn't go for one in the bloodlines because he's too closely related to most of them."

"Wonderful."

"Yeah, it's either you or Philip and you know how stuffy he can be."  She laughed at that and got up, closing her locker. "I'll be there in a few minutes."  She nodded and he pulled open his locker door to pull out his ID and everything else he'd need.  It was good to be back.  Everything was settled for him but Sandburg.  Then again, Jim was coming to him, maybe it would help.  He'd have to watch that one and Lindsey's thing.  He patted his pocket, pulling out the lodestone necklace he had found, then checked himself before heading to the meeting.  He handed the necklace to her.  "For Lindsey."

"Thank you."  She tucked it into her pocket.  "I'll send it to her tonight.  I got a nice letter from her boyfriend."

"Good.  He an ass?" Sarah asked.

"He seems nice but we'll be meeting when we go up to pick her up at the end of school," Catherine told her.  "Greg, is that okay?"

"Sure, not an issue.  We can even set a portkey up there and back if you wanted. It's not that hard and I just recently brushed up on that skill again."  He sat down as Grissom came in, looking attentive and taking his case to head out on.

***

Alex sat and pouted.  He knew he was pouting, everyone knew he was pouting, and Bill was giving him funny looks because he was pouting.  Still, he was pouting.  This just sucked.  He couldn't work when he was pouting, he couldn't concentrate to work because of the reason he was pouting.  Draco walked in carrying something and he frowned at him.  "What's that?"

"Mail from Aunt Cordy for me."  He handed over the sack of cookies and brownies to Bill, who was keeping the treats from Harry and Ron.  "She wanted to remind me that you do have to have a named heir, one who carries on the family name, wanted to know if someone like Greg's coworker Catherine could do it for you since she'd be an uncomplicated match, and how best to do this project so I wouldn't kill you for cheating.  She also said to quit sulking, you're not too young to be a grandfather."

"I am so!  Harry's older, he's my student.  I'm too young to have some toddler come up to me and call me Grandpa Alex.  Even if I am, Holly will teach the kid to do that just to annoy the fuck outta me.  I know she will."

"So disown the child," Bill said dryly.

"Right!  After I just got done fixing the family will and the family tree!  Besides, Dad would kill me if I did that."  Draco and Harry both nodded, smirking at him.  "Why Catherine?"

"She's had a witch, she's not related in any means or way, and she's fairly nice and decent as a mother.  They figured she's got a bit of empty nest or they could talk her into it."  He shrugged.  "I have no idea how this stuff is done."

"I do, and I'm still not sure of it," he complained, going back to his pouting. He hated to pout but it felt so good at the moment.  "I hate this."

"I know," he soothed, giving his mate a deep kiss.  "Also, she said she sent Ginny all the information she had on Valkyries so she'd get an idea of what the normal witch and wizard thought as well."

"Fine.  I'm sure Dawn'll put 'em back sometime."  He pouted at his mate.  "I'm too young to be a grandfather."

"Only in this life.  In reality you're old enough to be a great-great-grandfather," he teased.  "After all, you're about what, eighty-five?  Kids can have ones at fifteen.  That's nearly four generations worth there.  Well, five really.  Giving the kids too much credit."

"That's a horrible thought," Ron said dryly.  "Isn't his daughter in Belgium enough?  She named her kids Dumasses."

"No," Xander sulked.  "Dad said there had to be new blood, true blood Dumasses.  Does he like Catherine for that?"

"Not a clue," he admitted.  "The last I knew he was pondering Indian witches and Asian witches."

"Why?"

"Pure lines you're not related to," Draco said firmly.

"The inbreeding at home is horrible," Xander agreed.  "Maybe some nice mail order witches or maybe just some exchange students would be nice."

"I've suggested that to mother in the past, she has said that the board might agree, as long as they came from a reputable and formidable school."

"You mean like the one started in India?  It's right outside Delhi.  There's one in Thailand as well, out by where all the temples are.  I've been there, they're very nice, but very strict and uptight.  There's one in Japan I think, but it's fairly small.  There's one in Africa, out on the plains, just away from the desert, but I'm not sure where.  There's the Brazilian school, and the one in Mexico, plus Canada's and the US's tragic mistakes and Salem."

"Australia doesn't have one?" Harry asked.  "I thought they would."

"There's a small academy that does it but it's not a *school* like Hogwarts, it's more like a muggle school with extra classes.  Like what Chicago wanted to be.  They've actually got a mixed school and the witches and wizards just take some different classes among them."  Draco looked horrified at that.  "The African one's ancient, but it's based on native and local magics more than most. They're great hosts there.  I had to visit once about an artifact that suddenly came to life.  Way back when.  There's also a few specialist schools, like New York, Florence, and Ryhad.   That one may be closed.  They had a fundamentalist uprising a few decades back."

"That's where those princesses who wanted you came from when they came in for an exchange year," Ron said in awe.  Alex nodded.  "Wow."

"They were nice but they wanted marriage and I didn't."  He shrugged a bit, blushing a bit too when Draco just stared at him.  "We got one from Australia to come in and study charms with me.  She was teaching in New York the last time I knew, but that was about five years ago.  There's a small academy that does specialist stuff for curse breakers in Belgium, but I hated it there.  That's where Dumbledore wanted to send Dawnie that time.  Um, there's a system of schools built like the UC college system in California, so the kids move from center to center for specialist terms.  Instead of doing full load, you do blocks there.  But it's like Andromeda, Capitol campus, and Andromeda, San Francisco campus, and Andromeda, Verde campus.  They're like hippies there the last I knew."

"Dawn would love that," Ron said dryly.

Xander nodded.  "She would but they don't usually put out curse breakers.  They put out some transfiguration people, a lot of herbologists, and a lot of people who go into muggle fields, but use magic like Greg does.  Andromeda's a popular school, but it's not the best.  Salem is one of the highest academically.  Canada's not far behind.  Florence is the toughest ever seen though."

Harry shivered.  "Do we do much work with the other schools?"

"Some recruiting now and then.  Sometimes things happen to artifacts and we have to go handle it.  I've been in Florence before because they had a problematic statue issue for a few weeks after a student's prank turned it on and it kept trying to stomp on the non- virginal girls and piss on the virgin boys."  That got some snickers from the boys and Bill just groaned, shaking his head.  "He was there then."

"Don't remind me. I had to take a revirgining potion to lure it."

"They make those?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, because there are witches who have families that virginity is important too, especially for alignment marriages," Draco said sarcastically.  "Those girls at Hogwarts have a long talk with Madam Sprout because Professor Snape sneered at the class a few years back."

Alex nodded.  "I would too.  It's a dumb standard."

"It is," Ron agreed with a smirk. "Good thing I don't care about that with Dawn."

"Very," Harry agreed. "No more making me sleep in the same room as those two, please, Alex?" he pleaded.  "They're noisy.  Worse than you and Draco sometimes."

"That's possible?" Bill snorted.

"Yes, it is," Draco agreed dryly, frowning at Ron.  "I heard you the last time.  While having sex."

"Oops," Ron said, blushing bright red.  "Not my fault.  She was the one screaming."

"It nearly got you hexed too," Alex said firmly.  "Okay, enough, let's get back to cataloging for the day and move onto tomorrow's plans."  They got back to work, Alex stealing a brownie.  "Did she say Catherine agreed?"

"No, just that they're working on her.  Oh, and Greg threatened that Ecklie imbecile with you coming to town to do a dig.  Seems he shut up fairly quickly."

"We can do that," Xander agreed dryly.  "I don't know what we'd dig for but yeah, we can do that.  You guys still wouldn't get to have any fun after hours."  They all groaned and went back to work.  This was too important to screw up.

Matters of the Afterlife

Greg looked across the room, wondering what was going on.  He was in the field again today, learning a bit more on this scene.  It was him, Grissom, and Warrick.  This scene was staged.  It was clearly staged.  It had been staged, it would continue to be staged, and it was obviously staged.  He looked at Grissom.  "This is so very staged," he pointed out.

Warrick looked at him.  "Becoming an expert now, Greg?" he teased, smirking a bit.

"I will bet a hundred bucks to your ten that there will be one single print in this room besides the vic's or staff's," he said seriously.  He looked around, pointing at a low table.  "It'll be there beside the nice vase of flowers."  Grissom looked at him.  He pointed at the body on the bed.  "That's textbook of that one assassin working around the world right now.  We covered it three months ago in classes."  Grissom raised an eyebrow.  "Often called El Terrible?"

"Him?" Warrick asked, looking at Grissom.  "Why would he hit this guy?  He only hits bad guys."

"Then maybe he's a bad guy," Greg pointed out.  He looked at Grissom.  "Should I run prints?"

"Please.  Start with that table."  He looked at Warrick.  "I haven't heard of this guy."

"He's got about six hundred kills to his name.  No one's sure if the current guy is an assistant or an apprentice to the former guy since it's been going on for nearly thirty years."  He took another picture of the gun on the bed. "Greg's right, it does fit his MO.  If so, then we'll probably find some sort of crime linking this guy back to Europe.  That seems to be where he does the majority of his work."  He put away his camera and got to work on the other duties.

Grissom came over to see the perfect print Greg held up.  "That's very well done, Greg."

"He laid it on purpose, he always does," Greg said, grinning back at him.  He handed it off and went back to dusting everything else.  One of the silk flowers had some smudges but nothing else on that table had anything.  He walked over to the next piece of furniture and worked on that one.  Grissom patted Greg on the back and let the ME in, making Greg grin at David.  "Hey."

"Hey."  He looked at the body.  "Assassination?  That's not very common these days.  I wonder what he was into."  He came over and checked the body, then found the wallet, handing it over to Grissom.  He got to work filling out the form, then pulled his liver thermometer, sticking it in.  It beeped so he looked at it.  "94."

"So, about four hours dead," Warrick noted, looking around.  Someone knocked on the door and Grissom waved so he opened it, finding a room service worker there.  "Hi.  Did you need something?  Have some information maybe?"

"No, sir," she said, holding out the tray.  "A call was placed to bring you this."  He took it and she hurried off.

"Wait," Greg called, standing up and moving around the stunned Warrick.  "What is it?  Who sent it?  Did you take the call?"

"The switchboard did, it's cocoa.  He said you could use it by the time you got done."  She swallowed.  "My cousin works out there and he said that it's not his usual sort of thing, but justice was served.  He taped it from the computer.  He said you can pick it up when you come down."  She turned and jogged off, holding down her apron.

Greg looked inside the tray, sniffing the cocoa.  He tasted a drop then nodded. "It's good cocoa."  He put the cup back down.  "No poisons or anything herbal in it."  David looked at him so he grinned.  "It's a part of the calling.  Any idea what else got him?"

"Just the gunshot I think.  No obvious bruises.  Nothing overt."  He shrugged.  "Probably just the shot.  It's a clean shot, not a lot of blood.  Either someone was very lucky or they knew where to hit him to make sure he wouldn't spew blood everywhere."  He stood up and motioned his body carriers in, letting them take the body while Grissom bagged the weapon.  "Any others?  We thought it might be a multiple."

"There was a heart attack in the kitchen but I think the paramedics got her," Warrick offered.  David nodded, going to check at the front desk before leaving.  He looked at Greg.  "You're so sure.  Why?"

Greg just grinned and flipped off the overhead lights, then focused the desk lamp at the table, watching them walk over to look.  "It's his signature.  I ran into him back in 'Frisco, guys.  He's very good at what he does.  He's also an evil and uncaring bastard most of the time.  We had a talk with him on general principles about a shooting since he was in the area.  He laid out his methodology to counter them, making sure they knew it wasn't him.  Then he suddenly disappeared."

"Your sort?" Grissom asked.  Greg nodded.  "You're sure?"

"Very," he said smugly.  "He's still probably in town.  I'm not sure I can arrest him without a duel and I'm not that excellent. For that, you need my darling love.  She's better than I am at being the badass."

"It's a strong man who can admit his wife is badder than he is," Warrick said dryly.

"Please!" he snorted.  "My wife scares world leaders.  She scared the stupid idiot Dark Lord.  She can win a duel against him.  And if not, I'm sure I can ask Alex very nicely.  He duels better than anyone I've ever heard of.  He had a few world championships."  He got back to work, looking at the tray of cocoa and sighing.  "Can I at least fill my travel mug?"

"No, Greg," Grissom said patiently.  He and Warrick shared a look.  "What does this guy look like?"

"Last I knew he was dark haired, fairly pale white guy, had longish hair at the time but he kept fussing with it like he thought he needed a trim," Greg said as he worked.  "He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt the last time I saw him, Griss.  He looked like a really wiry bouncer sort, but the eyes let you know he had combat training and experience.  He and the Prof over there probably are about equally as well trained if it gives you any idea."

"It does," Warrick assured him.  He had caught a duel between Alex and the Professor on one of their downtimes locally at Greg's place.  "How are the kids?"

"Growing," he moaned.  "I don't think I can make enough money to keep them in clothes some days."  He grinned again. "They're so brilliant though.  I had both boys in the lab with me and they were cooing at the ingredients."

"It's good to know they'll follow in your footsteps, Greg," Grissom told him, coming over to get a sample of the cocoa as well.  Detective Vartan, a well-built, tough looking guy, walked in and looked at what he was sampling.  "It was sent after the crime, we think by the killer.  Greg said there's nothing in it."

"He has a portable lab?"

"Experience," Greg noted, lifting a new print to compare to the one he had found on the table.  "I found a new reference print.  Probably the victim's."

"That's fine, Greg."  Warrick took it to look at.  "Yeah, that looks like the others I pulled."  He looked at him.  "If it's him, can you arrange to have him show up?"

Greg just shrugged.  "Maybe.  I can try."

"Why?  Does he know the guy personally?"

"Met him once.  El Terrible is not a man anyone can really call 'buddy'," Greg said dryly, smirking a bit at the detective.  "The message with the cocoa said that it was outside his normal jobs, but justice was served.  There's a tape waiting at the switchboard."

"I'll...go get that," he said, pointing and heading that way.  He looked at Griss.  "He's weird today," he complained, heading down to the front desk to get the victim's information and that tape.

"Greg, please don't scare the normals," Grissom said patiently.

"Awww, shoot.  There went my fun for the night," he sighed, shaking his head and lifting another one.  "Another of the second source."

"I found a small smudge, but it looks like it's not really deep, like there was something pressed really tightly against his hands," Warrick said, shaking his head. "I doubt we can clean it up."

Greg looked at him.  Then at the angle.  "That'd be impossible from a standing angle."

"True," Warrick agreed.  He looked at him.  "You got to question him?"

"No.  But I sat in anyway, he talked to me."  Greg grinned.  "He said I was cute."

"I'll keep that in mind and tell Emilia he said that," Grissom assured him.  "Let's finish up, boys."  They got back to work and he studied Greg carefully.  He was doing everything the right way.  He was coming along well in his training but this was a worrying situation.

"Hey, Griss?" Greg asked.  Grissom shook himself as he made a 'huh' noise.  "Has anyone figured out who's got the plans on the 'net to bury themselves and four showgirls/servants with them yet?"

"I haven't heard a thing about that, Greg.  When did you see it?"

"Last night.  I left a note in your box."  He glanced at him as he dusted another surface.  "Another print that's from the second sample."  He lifted it anyway.  "I did see Ecklie hunting around in there when I came in today but he was acting all 'I'm doing nothing'."

"I'll check later, did you bookmark it?" Grissom asked.

"Sure did.  It's on my home compy though."  He shrugged and found a hair so he bagged that.  "I found a tucked in hair while I was working the fingerprint powder."

"Skin tag?" Warrick asked.

"Yeah, and I'll note that it probably has powder on it," he said, writing that on the envelope.  He tucked that into the manila envelope in his case, then got back to hunting before he did any more damage.  "Eww."  He used a popsicle stick to scoop up a biological deposit and put it in plastic.  "Remind me to always clean any room I stay in."

"What was it?"

"Biological," Greg said with a grossed out face.  "Too big for a swab.  So I sticked it and stuck it in plastic."  He shuddered but got back to work.

Grissom shook his head.  "Some news program said that they found seven hundred samples at one hotel in the midwest."

"Fortunately nowhere I plan on going," Greg noted dryly.

***

Hodges leaned into the lab Greg was working in, smirking a bit.  "I hear you had a famous assassin on your case."

Greg looked up at him and grinned.  "I talked to him in the past, Hodges.  He was moderately scary but I'm guessing he's like death when he's working.  Why?  Was it?"

"I stopped in fingerprint."  He handed over the sheets he had done and that one.  "It's yours."

"Wow."  He grinned.  "Thanks. You coming out for dinner tonight?"  Hodges nodded.  "I'll remind Emilia.  She's going to have fun before we get back.  Even if I'm a bit late, go ahead over and watch my poor pookie for me, 'kay?"

"Sure," David agreed.  "Thanks, Greg."  He walked off, smiling at Warrick.  "I handed the sheets to Greg.  He's right.  It's El Terrible."

"Joy," Warrick complained, heading into the lab where Greg was working.  "What are you doing?"

"Finding angles."  He handed over the photo he had been marking.  "Yes, it's a duplicate," he assured him at his look.  "He was at the foot of the bed, facing him."

"Why not the side of the bed or beside the door?"

"He always gives them a chance to pray and write out a last note.  He said it's cleaner that way."  He shrugged and grinned.  Then he handed over the reports.  "Fingerprints confirmed it.  The others are the victim's.  Biological nastiness from the dresser is also the vic's.  As was the wine in the bathroom that had backwash in it.  He was gulping out of the bottle according to Doc Robbins. "He also had viagra in his system."  He handed over that report.

Warrick read over everything then nodded.  "Good work, Greg.  Got a report done?"

"I'll do it in a little while.  Did Griss find that note I left him?"

"Not yet.  He said to please pop home at lunch and find it again or have Emilia send it over."  He looked at him.  "What were they doing?"

"Bringing servants into the afterlife with them."

"Wonderful.  Isn't that Egyptian?"

"Kinda, but the plans I saw weren't really Egyptian.  Looked more like they were going with marble."  Warrick nodded and headed off.  So Greg looked around.  "I'm taking a break," he called, then disappeared from right there.  He landed in his home, grinning at his daughter and wife.  "Hi."  He kissed their daughter Cassandra first then his wife.  "Do you wanna be naughty?" he teased with a small smirk.

"I'm all for naughty, Greg.  Why?"

"Because El Terrible's in town and he's our sort."

"Really?"  She frowned.  "Jett's in town?"  He nodded.  "Wonderful.  Where?"

"Not a clue but he killed someone.  We need him brought in.  I'll give you Brass but it's his day off."

"Fine."  She patted him on the cheek.  "Can I wear the leather mini skirt?"

"Sure," he agreed, beaming happily.  "Remember, David's coming over, so wear it to the station too," he said with a wink.  "I'm heading up to get that address from the computer."  His daughter handed over a copy of the memo he had typed, beaming at him.  He smiled and ruffled her hair.  "You're so brilliant!  Just like mommy!  Daddy loves you all.  Be good, I'm only on break.  We'll have dinner with David tonight."  His daughter beamed, he was her favorite uncle because he taught her stuff too.  "Laters."  He shared out kisses then headed back to his usual spot to appear, heading inside.  He walked past Grissom, handing over the memo.  "'San printed off another copy for you."

"Thanks, Greg. Any luck on the case?"

"I was right," he said happily, turning to look at him and walking backward.  "Fingerprint said so.  He was a bit drunk, had viagra in his system, and he was shot from the end of the bed by my calculations."  He turned, barely missing their present DNA tech by moving around her.  "Sorry!"  He headed back to work, going to do that report.  He even remembered to keep it in plain english instead of lab or Greg speak.

***

Emilia walked into the usual wizarding hotel, smiling at the woman behind the counter.  "This is Detective Brass," she said quietly.  "We need to see Jett."

"He's not upstairs, ma'am."

She pulled her wand and hexed the person to statue-hood.  "Really?"  She walked behind the desk, typing in her request, getting a room number.  Which she called.  "Jett, dear.  It's Emilia.  I challenge you to a duel.  No, sweetie, you're now endangering my pookie bear.  So let's do this so the nice detective can arrest you.  'Kay?" she asked with a smirk.  She laughed at his answer.  "Too late!"  She hung up and hit the button to stop apparations out.  Then she whistled as she headed for the elevators, catching him as he came fuming off.  She smirked a bit.  "Jett, this is Detective Brass.  He works with my Greg."

"You finally married your little nerd?" he asked dryly.  She nodded, smirking a bit more, looking quite naughty.  He looked her over, then at her again.  "It must be love, you're in leather."

She giggled and nodded.  "I am.  My poor pookie gets so excited.  Then again, he's a potion's master."  He raised an eyebrow.  "You met him before.  Gregory Sanders?"

"The little geek master in Frisco?"  He frowned.  "He's your little nerd?"

"Now," she agreed smugly.  "Want to see pictures of the kids?"

"Hell no," he snorted.  "I'm just glad I don't have any."  He looked at her, then at Brass.  "I'm assuming he knows?"

"Oh, yeah, Greggy gave him bunny ears."

Jett looked at the cop again, raising an eyebrow.  "How many months of mental drugs did you have to take when you found out?"

"I'm still trying to decide if I need them or not."  Someone came running up and he held up his badge, and the manager turned and ran the other way.  "So let's do this.  I know you'll try to escape.  Please surrender your wand and whatever other weapons you've got on you."

"Must I?"

"Yeah," he agreed dryly.  "You must.  Or else Emilia gets to play badass again."

Jett snickered.  "Her?"  She kneed him in the stomach, then hit him on the back, making him look up at her.  "Some day you'll be paying for that."

She smirked down at him.  "Only on my back and begging for Greg to make me a good girl again," she assured him.  "Get up and let's go.  You're taking me away from bedtime stories."

"Fine.  You're such a * mother*," he complained, allowing Brass to handcuff and frisk him.  "Who is this about anyway?"

"Travers?"

"Oh, yeah, the guy who drunkenly drove through a kid's funeral and got half her class."   Brass shuddered.  "Not my usual sort of job, but the mother begged and pleaded.  Sorry, man."

"That's fine.  We can talk about it downtown.  Then we'll see if we can keep you."  He walked him off, sighing a bit.  "Emilia, we can't beat up on prisoner's around here."

She pulled her wand and hexed Jett, making him yelp.  "I never knew you could do wandless, Jett.  I should tell Greggy that.  I'm sure he can devise some way of keeping you around."

"That's mean and I'm nice to you," he complained.

She kissed him on the cheek.  "I know you are, dear, but you made my poor pookie work harder and he's in the field now.  Not that I *like* my poor little boy in the field, but still."  He shuddered so she smirked.  "I know, but I'm doing it to annoy the fuck outta you," she assured him, patting him on the back.  "Into the car, studly."

"Can't I apparate?" he complained.

"Hell no.  Get in the car or I'm having Greg call Alex back," Brass complained.

"I don't think we need *that* much of a threat, Detective Brass," she sighed. He rolled his eyes.  "I don't."

"Alex who?" he asked as he was put into the back of the car.  "I heard about the war, good job.  You know, if you had asked, I would've helped."

"Thanks.  It was the whole Bane network."  She got in and buckled up because Greg would freak if she didn't, but turned to look at him.  "You didn't hear anything about Potter and Dumass and the Malfoy family?"

"I heard a rumor, but he's got to be nearly ninety," he said, frowning a bit.

She grinned. "Oh, no, honey, he was deaged.  He's about twenty now and he was on the Hellmouth over in Cali."  Jett let out a small moan.  "Better known as Xander Harris."

Jett stared her down. "You're shittin' me," he said firmly.  She shook her head.  "Please tell me you're shitting me, Emilia."  She grinned and shook her head again.  "That little goofball was Dumass!" he shouted.  She nodded, beaming now.  "How!"

"Dumbledore put a shield around him.  It was like he was wearing a costume of himself.  He had *no* access to any powers."

"And he lived there?" he asked, looking horrified.  "Was he suicidal?"

"Dumbledore put him with a set of alcoholic muggles when he was deaged back to five."

Jett shuddered, shaking the now loose handcuffs.  She flicked her wand and they retightened.  "Please tell me you're kidding?" he pleaded.  She shook her head.  "Damn it!  And I met the guy!  I didn't even realize and he's the only guy I never beat in a duel!"

"Yeah, and now he's got his own pet Veela, my cousin Draco," she said smugly.  "Plus Weasley and Potter as apprentices.  They're in Malgadesh."

"Whoa," he said, looking appreciative. "Since when?"

"About a month now," she said, smiling at Brass.  "He came to the sendoff party we had for the group.  Ron's older brother Bill went with them to help."

"So who's the Dawn chick?"

"The slayer's younger sister."

"She's related to *Buffy*?"

Brass nodded.  "Yup.  We've seen both of them.  Should I park somewhere so you can finish catching up?"

"Oh, no, sweetie, we'll get together at the next UN meeting," she assured him, patting him on the arm.  "David's coming for dinner tonight.  Want to join us?"

"No thanks.  Greg and David get into super-nerd mode and I'm lost and alone with the boys."

"No, they were cooing in the lab the other day," she said happily.  "They were helping stir and cooing at his ingredients and he's such a happy little potions master now."

"Wonderful.  Just like Cassandra?"  She nodded.

"You've got three kids?" Jett said, looking confused.  "How long have you been married?"

"A few years.  One girl and then a set of twin boys.  The boys are just walking."  She pulled her wallet out of her bra and flipped open the pictures, showing him the last one. "That's my brood.  Thankfully all of them."

He looked at it, then at her.  "Methos?"

"He's teaching defense," she offered with a grin.  "Snape said he nearly cut the whole Hufflepuff table up their second day back because the house elves were really slow with the coffee."  He chuckled, shaking his head.  They pulled into the lot.  "Will you please be good, pookie?"

"Sweetheart, call me a pet name again and I'm going to rip your hair out," he said firmly.  "I didn't put up with it with the blonde bimbo, who's now dead.  I don't put up with it in others."

"Shoot."  She pouted.

"Not working.  I saw the Mistress of Pout do it too many times at my triplet."

"How is that darling?"

"Hiding.  He's somewhere on holy ground.  He won't tell me where so I can't go slap him like he deserves."

"Pity. Where's Jace?"

"New York doing a show."  He rolled his eyes.  "I swear I'm the normal one."

"I think that's Joxer, sweetie," she assured him, reaching back to pat his hand.  He grabbed her and she bit him, making him shriek.  "Bad you!"  She hit him on the head, making him duck and yelp.  "Bad boy!"

"I think that's my definition," he defended, giving her a hurt look. "Motherhood made you mean."

"Yay."  She grinned.  "Greg likes me like this."  He snorted and looked at Brass. "He's seen him drooling after me in this outfit."

"More than once," Brass agreed, parking and getting out.  He pulled Jett out and redid his cuffs.  Emilia walked inside with him, so he took them both to an interrogation room.  He looked at her when she followed them in.  "You can't really be in here."

"Honey, Greg can't stop him."  She patted him on the cheek.  "Be a good boy and go get Griss.  I'll watch him.  We've got *ages* to catch up on.  I haven't seen him since the last nuclear talks."  She sat down across from him.  "Yes, I'm your torture."

"I figured as much with the way that top cuts."  He lifted his head to look.  "Still looking good.  Didn't breastfeed the husband?"

She snorted and shook her head.  "No, I did. I'm just built that way."  He snickered and leaned back, getting comfortable.  She smiled at the guys coming in.  "Hi, guys."  She looked at Jett.  "He's promised to be good until he's alone in a cell later.  Otherwise I get to get PMS cranky."  Grissom and Warrick both shuddered.

Greg checked the date on his watch.  "Wasn't that last week?"  She shot a harmless hex at him and he ducked it.  "Sorry, 'Mil."  He kissed her and grinned at Jett.  "Mine."

"I heard.  Actually I heard about you for years before you got together. She used to sigh over you.  I also remember our last chat."

"Hmm, me too.  Grissom didn't believe me that it was your work today."  He put down the photo.  "What did he do?"

"Hypothetically, he drunkenly crashed through a kid's funeral and took out half her class."  The guys all winced and Emilia glared at a wall.  "If I was there, I was acting in the name of Justice, guys.  Sorry.  What was he doing out here anyway?"

"Marrying his fifth wife," Warrick told him.  "We can't seem to find her."

"Not me," Jett assured him.  "I don't touch collateral damage and I haven't since time started running forward."

"You're like Professor Methos?" Grissom asked.  Jett nodded. "Interesting.  What did you used to be?"

"The King of Assassins."  Then he grinned his most cheezy grin.  "Can't you tell?"

"I can.  It explains a lot," he agreed quietly.  "Fine.  Emilia, do we have his wand?"

"Yup, but small complication.  He can do Willow magic."

"He can?" Greg asked, looking at him.  "Did you get *really* bored?"  Jett nodded, shifting a bit.  His handcuffs came back off.  "Neat.  I wanna learn that trick."  He frowned a bit.  "Can you at least wait until you get bail and skip?  That way we can flesh out your file?  You're being copied in the Southwest."

"I saw.  She's in trouble when I catch her," he said dryly.  "Pissy bitch will learn better."

"Fine," Warrick said calmly, looking at Greg.  "How do you know he'll skip?"

"The last time he disappeared from a holding cell with six cops watching."  He looked at Jett.  "Besides, if he gives this department shit while I'm here, then I'm going to tell the Prof where and his two brothers are," he said firmly.  Jett sat up, staring at him.  Greg stared back.  "Comprende?"  Jett nodded.  "Good.  Vegas is *my* town.  The overlords might not agree, but it's under *my* protection.  That's why I work here.  Doing shit like this on my turf upsets me."

"You can't challenge me," Jett reminded him.

"Yeah I can.  And if I can't, then there's others.  After all, Methos is still being bothered by the poor, cursed Duncie-poo."

"He was cursed?"

"To brood," Emilia told him.  "Alex figured it out."

"Wow.  No wonder he was King Pout."  He shook his head and looked at Greg.  "Prove it."  Greg pulled his wand and Jett stood up, backing away.  "Okay, man.  No need to hex me."  He saw the look in Greg's eyes.  "Are you sure you're a good guy!"

"Yeah," Greg said, putting his wand back up his sleeve and into the special holster.  "I'm very sure I'm a good guy.  Then again, we did just recently take over the Chicago school to fix it and did decimate Voldemort and his Death Eaters."

Jett shuddered. "If you guys had called, I would've come," he complained, cautiously moving closer.

"Sit, you're safe as long as you don't touch anyone in this room or my coworkers."

"Small prob with that, Greg," Jett said, looking very serious.  "I got contacted about a member of the department here.  One of the CSI people."

"I am one of the CSI people.  Formerly DNA and now field. Who?"

"Sider?  Something like that."  He shrugged. "They thought since I was in town...."

"Sarah Sidle?" Grissom asked, looking quite serious.  "Who?"

"Let's just say they're about to do something really stupid," he said, looking at him, then back at Greg.  "Not one of us, man."

"Fine."  Greg nodded at that.  "I'll go warn Sarah and tell her she's stuck at home, Griss?"

"Go," he agreed.  He looked at Jett.  "You're scared of him?"

Jett leaned back again, comfortable now that Greg was gone.  "Greg is one of those men who will destroy the world if what's his is touched.  Some men are possessive and some men own things, but men like him destroy others.  If I even *threatened* Emilia I'd be a dead man and so would a great many other people if they tried to stop him."  Emilia nodded at that.  He looked at her.  "Is Dumass afraid of him?"

"No, they're buddies and he's a Bane now."

"Wow."  He blinked a few times.  "You guys are stronger than I thought."

"That's partially Blair's doing and partially Tipsy and the twin's doing," she said smugly.

"Those Weasley twins married Tipsy 'Tip Top' 'Pranking Mistress' Ramvette?"

"Yup, and she's got two sets of twins," she said proudly.  "Joxer and Iolaus and then Arthur and Morgan."

He shuddered. "They named one of their twins after my brother?" he whined.

"They thought it was a tv show.  No one ever explained to them why Methos bursts out in giggles when he sees dear little Joxer and her trail of destruction."

He sat up again.  "They named a *daughter* after Joxer?"  She smiled and nodded.  He burst out giggling, pounding the table a few times.  "I've got to tell him!  He'll come out of hiding to see his namesake!" he snickered.  "Jace will be *so* upset."

Greg came back, watching the laughing.  "Let me guess, you told him about Joxer?" he asked happily.  Emilia smiled and blew a kiss.  "She is a little hellion and a half.  She and Cassandra keep stripping off every time they get together to play."  He sat down, putting a folder in front of him.  "This is what the FBI has on you.  I got it from the receptionist since I had her printing it off.  Wanna help us here?"

Jett took it, still laughing and in a good mood.  "Tell that bastard Xander that I remember him in his alter ego and if I had any idea I'd have put him out of his misery."

Greg touched his arm, then smirked evilly.  "He said if he ever runs into you again, next time you get to pay your own tab, you're on the bottom, and he's going to make you service his boy Draco."

Jett snickered again, shaking his head.  "Dumass always was an original."  He got to work sorting out the fiction in his crime file.  After all, they were realistic and they weren't going to keep him very long.  He might as well get in some bragging.  Besides, he could get some information on the not-him.

***

David Hodges woke up, which was an odd thing.  The last he knew, he had been getting into his car to go to Greg's house for dinner.  He looked around the room he was in.  It was totally blank.  He couldn't even see a doorway in the light of the small lantern in the corner.  He did see something though.  He groaned as he got up, holding his head.  "Ow."  He walked over to where another body was lying, poking it hard.  "Get up!"  Greg groaned and covered his forehead. "Greg, we're in danger.  Get up!"

Greg sat up, holding his head.  "Damn it, I hate being gassed."  He looked around then at David.  He patted himself down, finding his wand.  "Someone was really dumb."  He cast a quick healing charm on them both, then got up to look around.  "Got your phone?"

"No."  He checked around where he had been put, but there wasn't anything.  "I don't even have my wallet.  You?"  Greg nodded, finding his.  He patted himself down again, finding his phone.  "Why didn't they search you?"

"I have an automatic shield that comes up whenever I'm knocked out so I can't be harmed while I'm unconscious.  It goes up when I'm asleep too," he admitted.  "Any junior wizard can bring it down if they try hard enough but it gives me enough time to wake back up."  He walked around the room. "No signal."  He frowned, checking the phone over.  "I wish Philip had gotten that charm to spell the phones to work anywhere done."  He put it away and touched his arm, getting nothing.  "We're in a magically null area."  He frowned and tried to summon something.  The bottles of water came and he sniffed them both before handing one over.  He sipped his, looking at the room they were in.  "It's a tomb."

"It is?" David asked, looking around. "How can you tell?"

"I saw it online last night.  Some guy wanted to bury himself with four showgirls.  I sent it to Griss in case."  He checked his phone again, still no signal.  He frowned as he considered the room.  "I'm not a tomb raider," he said finally.  "I don't know how to break out of here."  David just groaned and sat down.  "What?"

"Footsteps."

"Good.  Maybe that can work in our favor."  He got himself ready, hexing the person who was opening the door.  He walked over and shoved the door open wider, ducking another hex.  "Shit!"  He shot at that person, making them go running.  "Dave."

"What?" he asked, coming over once the noise was gone.  "What did you do?"

"Annoyance, what I do best."  He looked at him.  "Can you still change?"  David swallowed but nodded.  "Then take my phone and head."  He handed it over and watched as David changed down to a small fairy-like creature before flying off.  Greg walked out into the main room, looking around that one.  It was very strange but he felt he should recognize these things.  He didn't but he felt he should.  He found two doors.  One went to another chamber, and it already had a body in it.  Being wary of mummies he backed out and headed for the other one, finding the stairs.  He walked up them slowly, wand in hand.  He could hear voices above him and groaned.  "Wonderful, they've got an army."  He tried his tattoo again, nothing.  He readied himself when he heard footsteps coming toward the door, scowling when it was locked.  He tried his wand but the magic was seriously blanketed now.  He sat down there to listen to what was going on.  He pulled out his bottle of water and drank, making sure he had enough moisture to last for a while.  "What a day I picked to not carry any potions on me," he complained. He tried to apparate but he couldn't get through the blocks on the area.  Simple magic only then.  He tried to turn the bottle into a portkey but it didn't work either.  The spell wouldn't take.  He sighed and sat down to wait. They'd have to come back sometime.  They clearly weren't done with only two hostages to go over with the mummy.

***

David landed outside the boundaries of the land and changed back, then ran for the road, dialing the office.  "Grissom, it's David.  Greg and I got taken hostage by guys who had a mummy.  Trace this signal!  Yeah, it's his cell.  It's new!"  He found a road and flagged down a car. "I'm in the desert, but I'm next to a smallish road.  Yeah, that's me!  Hopefully!"  He tried the next car and it slowed down.  "Shit, Teller!"  He jumped out in front the car, then ran around to pound on the window. "They've got Greg!" he yelled.  The door was opened and he got in.  He pointed at the place he had flown from.  "We were that way.  Behind the fences there's a tomb sort of place.  Lots of marble, no carvings.  I changed to get out.  Greg's still in there."

"Calm down," he said quietly.  "Who had you?"  David shrugged.  "No idea?"

"Not a one," he admitted.  "I know that Greg fired on a few of them," he said, wiping off his face.  "I can still change from that one guy's thing so he handed me his cell so I could get out.  He couldn't use his tattoo at all."

"Damn it," he muttered.  "Fine.  How far was it and how big are you when you change?"

"I'm about six inches high and it was about a half-hour at the most.  There's literally a stairway down into the ground."  He heard sirens.  "I had to call our bosses first."

"That's fine.  I'm sure your bosses are used to this sort of thing."  He got out and walked David back to Brass, who he knew.  "Here.  He said they've still got Greg.  He did have his wand, David?"  David nodded.  "Then he should be fine."

"He couldn't do anything but summon a couple of bottles of water.  I heard them say they were sealing it," he told them both.

"Get in the car," Brass said, helping him into it.  "How far?"

"About a half hour as I used to fly."

"That's about, probably, less than two blocks," Nick noted as he joined them.  "Where's Greg?"

"Still in there."  Brass looked at him.  "You're still on the injured list."

"So?  Emilia said either I come or she was."  He looked at the fence.  "Can we enter?"

"Yeah, with a kidnaping victim in custody, we're allowed.  It's considered probable cause," Brass assured him.  He looked at Teller.  "Do you need to come?"

"I'll be watching," he promised.  "Let me pull off the road."  He walked back to his driver.  "Pull off the side, call Penn.  Someone took Greg.  Brass has it.  They had him and David in a tomb."  His driver nodded and pulled off to the side of the road while he went to question David.  It was possible he had seen someone that he could identify.  If so, Penn was going to castrate someone.  Everyone in town knew that Greg and Emilia were off-limits.  David looked at him.  "Did you see anyone?"

"They were wearing hoods.  Like a hoodie jacket, not like the guys who attacked the station.  Most of them were pretty shallow.  I saw one Asian guy.  Two white guys.  One really big African-American guy.  He reminded me of every jock I've ever been tortured by."  Teller nodded at that.  "Um, I think I saw a female but I couldn't be sure.  The coats or whatever they were wearing were pretty bulky and she wasn't overly built."  He frowned, thinking back.  "I'm trained to do this, I should be able to give you more."

"It's all right," he soothed.  "I know of at least one of those people.  Now, what were they wearing?"

"Gray.  Dark gray, like charcoal crayon gray?  It looked like a quilted jacket and pants.  I didn't see any obvious snaps so I'm going to assume zippers."  He closed his eyes and thought back, then opened them.  "The Asian guy looked directly at me.  He had brown and red eyes it looked like."

"I know him," Teller assured him calmly.  "Is there anything else you remember?"

"There weren't any carvings that I remember.  The main door is really solid.  It was thicker than I am but you could almost hear something."

"That's usual acoustics down a marble hallway."  He smiled slightly.  "I wanted to be a cursebreaker when I was younger because it was romantic and you can get really rich doing it.  I did an internship."  David nodded, relaxing at that.  "Okay, we're probably going to have to follow," he said, looking at the cop hurrying their way.  "Can you?"  David nodded, getting up and following him.  "We're coming."

"Sir, I was sent to get him."

"I'm going," Teller told him.  "I can pick locks, kid."  The cop just shrugged.  Someone higher up could deal with him.  He followed along, slowing down.  "David, in this direction?"

David looked, then frowned and pointed.  "That way."  He looked at the cop.  "They found one?"

"Two with six bodies each."

"This way," Teller told him, following David.  The cop whistled, bringing others to follow them.  Teller looked at the door, frowning a bit.  "Very nice locking charm," he muttered.  "Brass, clear the area.  I can hear Greg complaining about Emilia ranting about dinner."  Brass cleared everyone and he moved forward, looking at the doorway.  He found the 'handle' of the lock spell and worked on it, suddenly snapping it open.  He looked at it.  "Pry bar would be nice, guys."  It tried to shift.  "It's really thick, Greg, let us," he called.  "I'm here, David got out."

"Tell David to hang up my phone if he didn't," Greg called. "I can't pay that bill."

David checked, then hung up the phone.  "Sorry, Greg."

"Not an issue."  You heard some faint scratching.  "Back away!  I'm going to open it from this side.  I don't wanna be in here with the mummy."  Everyone moved back at Brass and Teller's urgings, and suddenly the door exploded.  Greg coughed as he walked out, dusting his arms and chest off.  "Damn I'm good."

"That was probably evidence, kid," Brass pointed out.

"So?  Get it from one of the others.  Or better yet, the mummy."  He pointed behind him, and the mummy moaned, heading for the night air.  He looked at Teller.  "Not my doing."

"Can't you stop him?"

"Hell no," he said seriously.  He called Alex, getting an amused snort.  Then he reinforced it with a picture of the walking mummy.  Alex appeared a few minutes later, already frowning.  Greg pointed.  "All yours!"  He got out of the way, going over to where David was standing, taking his phone back.  "You okay?"

"Fine," he assured him.  "How did you know?"

Greg grinned.  "The boys said so."  He looked over as a familiar SUV parked and Penn got out.  "Um, Brass?"

"Fine.  Do it your way," he agreed, getting the cops back further.  Penn did a mass memory charm, but he was apparently left alone, making him look at the grinning man.  "You're sure?"

"Someone's got to write the report."

"Good point."  He watched as Alex Dumass took on the mummy with a sword, making it plop down once its head was gone.  "That's going to complicate things."

"Only if it gets back up again," David muttered.

Alex walked over, looking at Greg.  "I'm going to find whatever curse is on you to draw these sort of people to you and break it."  He gave him a crushing hug.  "From Dawn."  He looked at Penn, then at Teller.  "Need help with the memory stuff?"

"Sure," he agreed, and they reinforced the earlier one, making it stronger.  Then Alex walked off shaking his head.  Penn took Teller off, letting Nick get his report.  "It'll be sealed?" Penn asked.

"I'm sure it will be.  The police department doesn't like strange stuff.  You've seen them do it before."

"True," he agreed.  "Who did this?"

"I don't know."

"David said he saw Ho."

"Who?" Penn asked, looking confused.

"That guy who changed his name to seem more ethnic, Ho?  Him.  He also saw a guy who reminded him of every jock who ever picked on him."

"Darent?"  Teller nodded.  "Wonderful.  I'll be having a talk with them and then give them to you, officer."

"That's fine.  We'll have to confiscate their wands if we can prove they were here.  No wands in lockup."

"Good point," Penn admitted, looking at the area.  "What is this place?"

"It's apparently a new cemetery for those who want to bring people with them," Teller told him. "I got an email offering me a spot for two million dollars."

Penn snorted.  "To do what?"

"To be buried with up to seven servants/prostitutes/caretakers of my choice."

Penn pouted a bit.  "Why didn't I get one?"

"Because no one knows your email address," Greg called.

"Can we get a copy of that email?" Nick asked.  Teller nodded.  "Thank you.  Do you know why these people like Greg?  First that assassin guy and now this."

"Assassin guy?" Penn asked, looking confused. "I was working all week, kid. Who?"

"Jett," Greg called.

"Get over here!" Penn yelled.  Greg walked over, looking a bit guilty.  "When was he in town?"

"Until about three hours ago.  He killed a guy who crashed through a kid's funeral and took out a lot of her classmates.  I sent Emilia over with Brass to catch him."

"Uh-huh.  How did you know Jett, Greg?" Penn asked very patiently.

"We brought him in for questioning when I was in Frisco.  He talked to me."  He shrugged.  "He's gone, we made sure of it.  He popped out of custody wandlessly then disappeared."

"Then how do you know he's gone?"

"Easy.  Tracking charms.  He's back in Chicago.  He popped back to get some of his stuff from the hotel but otherwise left."  He headed back to the scene to talk to Grissom.  He had been giving his statement.  "I'm back."

Grissom looked at him.  "Why did they want you?"

"That probably depends on who the mummy was."

"I hadn't thought of that."  He walked over to where the ME was working on the newest body.  "Any ID on the body yet?"

"No wallet or tags on him," Doc Robbins said grimly.  "Who sliced his head off?"

"Dumass."

"Ah."  He nodded, unwrapping the head and putting the bandages in the bag next to him.  "Well, it looks like it's a white male."

Greg walked over, peering down at him.  "I know him.  He's a local potions guy."  He frowned at the tomb, then down at him.  "It should be the other way around, he was less skilled so therefore he should be following me to serve my butt."  He stomped off, going to sulk in peace.

Nick looked at Grissom, grinning a bit.  "I'd be pissed too," he admitted.  "Having to serve someone who was inferior for my eternity?"

"That's genius ego, Nick."

"From Greg's book that I proofed for him, he's got that right," he retorted.  Grissom nodded. "Then why does he want to be in the field?"

"I don't know," he admitted.  "He said he wants to get more than just samples, to solve the puzzles."  He went back to the first tomb they had found.  "I need the officers to fan out and find any others around here, within this fence," he told Brass.  "I doubt there's only three."

"Sure," he agreed, going to give that order.  He came back a few minutes later.  "I sent them in teams in case we have to zap another person."  Grissom nodded at that.  "Do you think this is just their area?"

"No.  I think this is for people with a skewed sense of history and too much money.  Greg would have done his historical research and have a full pharaoh's tomb set up," Grissom joked.  Brass snorted, shaking his head.  "He would.  We'd have caught Emilia buying him mead to go with him."  He walked off because Ecklie was stomping their way.  "What's wrong, Conrad?  I didn't call in more support."

"This is now a dayshift case."

"Two of my people were taken," he said mildly. "It's ours.  Greg's not going to be able to work with your team, Conrad."

Ecklie frowned.  "Why would he need to?"

"Because he was one of the ones taken and at least one of these tombs belonged to one of his fellow masters in town."

"Master is stretching it a bit.  The guy couldn't brew soup," Greg complained as he walked over.  "Director Ecklie, fat chance.  There's going to be a lot of grieving widows and they're going to want to have *your* head for making them rebury their mates after they spent a few million dollars on these."

Ecklie glared at him.  "What were you doing here then?"

"Apparently someone decided they needed a good potion person to follow them into the afterlife.  Either that or just good lab assistants since they took me and Hodges. Griss, Philip said if you found any carvings and needed help telling what they said, he'd be glad to help.  He could use the assignment for one of his classes."  He looked at Ecklie again.  "Teller got an offer from them.  They wanted two million for up to seven servants."  Ecklie moaned and shuddered a bit.  "It's going to be nasty, not high profile.  It's also going to be a lot of paperwork to get them reburied, possibly even with court cases."

Ecklie moaned and walked off.  "Fine, I want kept informed *daily*, Gil.  I mean it this time!"

"Sure," Grissom called.  "Put that way, I'm not sure I want this case either."  He looked around.  "Catherine!" he called cheerfully, walking over to her.  "It's your case.  We've got another one coming in shortly."  He walked off, heading to do the paperwork he'd need and disappear onto whatever next case came in.

"Why me?" she called after him.

"Political considerations," Greg called, grinning at her.  "Ours wasn't finished.  Did you need more from me?  Nick has my statement and I'm guessing he took David's too."

"No, go home and take him with you, Greg."  Greg nodded, going to take David and head home with him.  They walked behind one of their SUV's and disappeared.  She walked over to Brass.  "I see Penn, did he clear this of their sort?"

"Yeah, so far only the mummy Greg got stuck with was theirs.  Alex took his head off."  She groaned and shuddered.  "The rest appear to just be rich and stupid."

"Oh, good.  Just what I love," she said bitterly.  "I sent Greg and David back to Greg's."

"Fine.  We can find them and Nick there."  He went to check with the officers coming back.  "Catherine, they've found two more full tombs."

"Wonderful.  Nick!  Are you supposed to be out here?"

"No, but I'm only taking pictures," he called.

"Good, go with them.  Take pictures of the new tombs."  He nodded, heading after the cops.  "God, I need a cappachino," she complained, getting sucked in.  She saw Sarah park and walk over.  "Why're you here?  Gris said you were grounded to the station."

"Oh, no!" Brass shouted, going over to stop her.  "You're under a death warrant.  They were trying to get the assassin from earlier to take you out.  I want you back at the station."

"They can get me at home too," she reminded him.  "I can come work.  I'll even work underground this time so you won't have a fit."  She walked past him, going to Catherine.  "Send me somewhere creepy."

"Follow Nick.  He's doing pictures.  There's two tombs out that way.  Take an ME team with you."

"Sure.  David!"  He looked up and nodded when she pointed.  "Two more tombs were found."

"I love you for the overtime, really," David called back.  He packed up his bag once he was done with that body and followed with his body handlers.  They found Nick doing one tomb and he moaned.  "Six?"

"So far," Nick admitted, letting him past.  "I'm doing the carvings on this one."

"Greg's didn't have any.  I'm guessing this is the deluxe model."

Nick looked at him and shook his head.  "The other one has gold leaf and statues."

"Wonderful.  So it's a decorate yourself plan?" Sarah asked as she joined them.  Nick nodded, giving her a long look.  "Hey, neither of us should be in the field.  Therefore we're together."

"Fine.  You want the other one?"  She nodded.  "Guys, show CSI Sidle where the other tomb was."

"Yes, sir," one said, walking her out to it.  They had put an office at the top of the stairs because of all the valuables.  He walked her past him and down there. He stopped at the stairway like a good officer so he didn't contaminate the crime scene.

She looked around, looking impressed.  "Wow.  Someone really did decorate."  She looked at the cop behind her. "I need some portable lights."  He nodded, going to send for some.  She carefully walked around, paying attention to where her footsteps went, looking in the other rooms.  "We've got about twelve bodies," she called.

"I'll tell them, ma'am," the officer from the top called.  He got out of the ME's way, watching as he walked down there.

"Sarah, is it safe yet?"

"Not yet. I'm still looking in the last room."   She came out a few minutes later.  "Okay, I've done pictures with a flash but I still need portable lights."

"I just need an accurate count."

She led him in so he could make a count, watching him moan.  "Hey, think of the paycheck near your wife's birthday," she reminded him. She patted him on the back.  "Do we have any idea who's doing this?"

"Teller said he got an email offering him a spot."

"Oh, good.  Should I worry about any of them moving?"

"Alex took care of that one earlier from what Brass was muttering to Doc Robbins," he offered, grinning at her.  "You'll be last since you've got so many.  I'll be back when I'm done with Nick's."  He left, heading back to the other tomb.  This was insane.  There'd be paperwork for weeks on this case.

***

Greg and David appeared at the house, making his wife scowl at him.  "It wasn't our fault we were stolen!"  He patted David on the back.  "Go shower, Dave.  Ten minutes won't matter to dinner by the way she's scowling."

"Thanks."  He headed up to a guest room, going to shower off the dust and sweat.

Greg leaned down to kiss his wife, who pushed him away.  "Stolen how?"

"Pierson's wife decided I was a suitable accompaniment to him in the afterlife.  We were in his tomb."  She growled and he shrugged.  "It wasn't my fault.  They stole us both."

"I'm going to ream her a new one," she growled.  She patted him on the cheek.  "Go bathe, Greg.  I don't want any tomb dust on you."  He nodded, grinning a bit before heading up to their room to shower.  She picked up the phone, dialing the usual bar.  "Get me Pierson's wife," she demanded.  "Yes, this is Emilia and I'm not pleased that she tried to have my husband, my more skilled husband, be buried with her husband!" she snapped.  The bartender audibly shuddered and passed on the message, then hung up.  "We'll see, sweetie.  No one touches what's mine.  Especially not some low skilled, backwater hick, trailer trash wench in foam curlers!"

David came down, looking sheepish.  "Should I run away? Greg always seems to."

She got up and hugged him.  "You're safe, David.  That man's wife is going to go down."  She led him to the table and went to get dinner.  She warmed it up, bringing it out as Greg came back, stealing another kiss.  "The kids were worried when you didn't call for bedtime stories."

"I'll tell 'em a naptime one tomorrow since I'm off," Greg promised with a smile for his wife.  "Did you yell at her?"

"Hell yes!  That stirrup pants wearing bitch from the backwoods of Alabama's cousin marryin' country for custody of the trailer, inbred skank had better watch her damn self!  There's something nearly as powerful as a righteous God, and it's me!  No one touches what's mine!"  Greg kissed her and she calmed down, making him moan as she poured her heat and fire into the kiss.

"Thanks, dear.  It saves me from going up and telling her why he should have served me instead of me serving him.  Or David.  Hell, 'San's better in the lab than that rat was."  He sat down, grinning at David.  "I won't tell."

"I didn't figure you would," he said quietly.  "How did the boys know?"  Greg shrugged. "Is there some way to tell?"

"We're not sure about the twins," Greg admitted.  "Twins are just strange beings with strange powers.  The Weasley twins can become a generator for each other.  Ours apparently have some sort of Sight from me."  Emilia nodded, giving him a long look.  "They had a vision?"

"Nightmare.  Uncle Philip on a dig in a few years.  He was old and gray.  I assured them it was a nightmare," she said quietly.  He nodded, getting that.  "You got to miss Ginny going into heat in Defense.  She's now in Malgadesh with Alex.  He got called to pick her up on the way home?"

"He had to come take out the walking mummy for us," Greg admitted.

"Walking?" she asked, looking confused.  "Was he still alive?  Otherwise that's just rumors."

"Not according to Alex.  He said something about 'sixth time in ten years'."  He shrugged and dug in.  "Great job, Emilia.  Did Penn talk to you about being the junior overlord?"

"Oh, yeah.  I've been doing that for a few weeks now," she admitted with a small grin.  "His girlfriend was really happy, it means he gets more time at home."  David snickered at that.  "It's mostly administrative stuff.  Yelling at the stupid ones, enforcing the memory charm rules, convincing some politicians that they don't really want to destroy the Willow Tree Inn."  She shrugged and dug in.  "They're still thinking about that one.  They want a bigger resort there."

"Who wanted to build one? I thought we were about at max capacity," Greg complained.  "Some of the resorts aren't doing so well because there's too much competition."

"The guy who owns the club and the other hotel put up a complaint that the Willow Tree was about to fall in."

"It is, but still!" Greg complained.  "The other place is impersonal and boring to stay in.  That's why we don't.  That and they have shoddy cleaning practices."

"Where are these places?" David asked.

"The usual hotel has the restaurant we took Catherine and her daughter to for her celebration and the cook got killed while we were there," Emilia told him.  He nodded, remembering that case.  "The Willow Tree is tucked in at the end of the strip.  It's a fine old place but it needs a lot of work.  Most of us stay there even though it needs a lot of work because it's more like the European places."

"How much did they need?"

"They've got a loan, Greg.  They need competent contractors.  Which aren't that plentiful around here."

"There's a group in Frisco.  I had to have them come repair some duel damage a few years ago," he offered.

"I told them to check other cities.  They're getting hell since they're pulling from out of town crews."

"Can normal people not do the work?" David asked.

"With moving paintings and stuff?  At least it's not like the Leaky with nearly infinite rooms," Greg said tiredly.  "They might be able to."  She nodded.  "Then they could contract out the specialty stuff."

"The local guys wanted to tear it down and restart."

"That's a lot of spell breaking," he complained.  She nodded.  "Which way are they going?"

"They want to renovate.  The owner pointed out that viewpoint was why they didn't want to go local.  Too much of the Willow Tree is historical or ancient to destroy.  We need to stay with them their opening weekend."  Greg grinned and nodded.  "Greg, bed," she said gently.  He nodded, waving at David as he headed for their bedroom.  "Sorry.  He's exhausted."

"That's fine."  He grinned at her.  "It was really tiring being there.  Thin air, panicking, all that good stuff."

She kissed him on the cheek.  "Steal a room, Dave.  You're more than welcome to get woken up by the kids before work."  He grinned and headed up there.  She shook her head, plotting her revenge for daring to touch *her* man or her friend.

Special Powers of Observation.

Nick walked into the unit, looking a bit confused.  Everyone decided to leave him alone for a bit, figuring it was about his treatments, but that wasn't it.  He found Greg in a lab, working on a picture of something.  "Greg, do you have a few?"

"Sure," he said absently, staring through a magnifying lens.  "I think that's a footprint there but I can't tell," he admitted, handing it over.  "I think that's a bigger clue than the totally faked fingerprints we found at the scene."

Nick looked, then nodded.  "That does look like a shoe print.  Looks like someone kicked the wall.  Did you have a better picture of it?"

"Yeah, but they're cracking down on the number of pictures we blow up."  He grimaced a bit.  "I'm about to make a donation to the department so they lay off us."

"If you want, just make it a quiet one.  Don't even tell Griss."  He turned and closed the door, looking at him again.  "I've got a problem in your area."  He looked down, then back at him again.  "Your other area."

"Okay."  He checked the table, then hopped up on it.  "Tell me."

Nick glanced outside, then at him.  "Remember the case with the little girl who was missing after all her family was killed?"  Greg nodded quickly.  "I, um, heard some stuff.  It was like she was telling me her whole story.  I could *hear* it."

"That's why you got so demanding and pushy."

Nick nodded.  "Yeah.  I *knew* she was alive.  Just knew.  That's...."  He ran his hand through his hair.  "It matched nearly perfectly with what she told me, man."

Greg nodded slower this time.  "Okay."  He considered it.  "Have you ever had any visions?  Even mild dreams that came true?  Anything that seemed like deja vu?"

"Every once in a while," he admitted quietly.  "Does it ...go away?"

Greg shook his head.  "Nope."  He grinned a bit.  "That's actually my third or fourth area, though I did study it at school."

"They teach classes in hearing things?"

Greg snickered a bit.  "No, but they do teach divinations.  Hearing things that you shouldn't is actually Blair and Philip's speciality.  I just get visions of things that'll end up hurting my family."

"Like those agents?" Nick asked.  Greg nodded.  "Nothing like this?"

"We each manifest a different way.  I get mind splitting visions that give me an idea of the future.  If you're hearing the victims...."  He looked around, then at him.  "Have you heard any other victims?  Anyone dead?"  Nick shook his head.  "Anyone alive?"

"I thought..."

Greg leaned forward and grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him forward.  "What was it?"

"I thought I heard a missing kid tell me they were in a storm drain but they weren't and they didn't say anything."

"Okay.  There's two things it could be.  The girl could be like me, or something close, basically a telepath who had her gifts brought out under stress.  She wouldn't be the first of us who had that happen."  Nick blinked a few times and Greg grinned a bit.  "No, there's no mansion in upper New York with a bunch of them.  It happens now and then. More often among ethnic cultures.  Again, Blair's area, not mine.  Now, if it's *you* doing it, somehow tapping into them, it's either something about her or you've always had a touch of Sight about the victims.  Alex, the lady I introduced Warrick to, has some of that and so does her boss."

"But it doesn't go away?"

"Nope," Greg said dryly.  He grinned a bit.  "That doesn't mean it'll come back out ever again.  There's every chance it was something about *her* that brought it out."

Nick relaxed and nodded. "So what do I do?"

"Keep a diary.  For now, note down all the irregularities.  All the times you hear or feel something, even if it's just a hunch, a gut hit.  Something that makes you twinge."

"I can do that.  I already started that."

"Good.  Now, keep it for a month.  It'll take me that long to get a few of the books I need from Blair's stash in storage.  I've got to write Simon to do that.  Or I could get you in touch with Alex.  There's ways, shielding techniques, that can help you.  There's some training that'll help you distinguish between the real stuff and the stuff you want because it's emotional for you."

"A full month?" he asked.

Greg nodded.  "A full month. With as many cases as we get here, that'll give us a good sample.  If you don't want to, you can ignore it.  Consider it a hunch, like a gut instinct."   He shrugged.  "It's up to you.  No one and nothing says you can't ignore it."

"But what if it happens again?"

"It's not like you get visible, telling reactions.  Yeah, you may get hit again, like you did with that young girl.  We all have those cases according to Gris.  You've got something to help a victim get justice, and that's special, but no one says *you* have to be special," he offered at the look of desperation he was getting.  "As far as I'm concerned, you came in here to tell me to get 'Mil off your case and to make her quit nagging."

Nick shook his head.  "I don't mind her nagging.  It's kinda nice."  Greg grinned a bit at that.  "You're serious?  It's that simple?"

"Unless you suddenly get a brain splitting vision or something else that lets someone know what's going on in your head.  Who can tell why you suddenly get adamant?"

"Good point.  I won't suddenly get ...visions or anything freaky, right?"  Greg shook his head.  "What if it's about her?  That girl?"

"Then you're going to give me her name.  I'm going to announce it to one of the better people now in Chicago so they can do a check.  If, at the right time and at the right place, she manifests, she'll get a letter too."

"They can tell?"

"Yeah, they can tell.  They can put wards around where she lives to catch anything accidental she does.  It's usually brought out by emotional outbursts and panic.  They'll keep a good eye on her and if it turns out she's not like me, then Alex and them will keep a good watch on her, in case she turns to Willow magic."

"Willow magic?"

"Remember the redhead following Alex around my house whining?"  Nick grimaced and nodded.  "She's a Wiccan.  A fairly strong one at that.  Some of us with the gifts go that way instead of my way."

"Oh."  He slumped a bit.  "Can I warn her?"

"Nope."

"Not at all?"

"Nick, think about it.  If someone came up to you and said 'you might be a witch', they'd either laugh, call the people with butterfly nets, or get really hopeful."  Nick sighed and nodded at that.  "So we don't want to bother them but we want to make sure everyone with a bit is picked up.  I'm not sure how they do that across the country.  I used to think something like a satellite to catch anything that surged out."  Nick snickered a bit at that.  "I'm not sure how, but they very rarely miss anyone unless they're covered up by stronger magic.  Something like what kept Willow from finding a school."

"So, you'll tell the right people, she'll be found if she manifests or whatever, and she'll get a letter some day soon?"

"Around here it's twelve.  Overseas it's eleven."

"So, a few years?"  Greg nodded.  "What about until then?"

"Until then, she'll be on the monitoring list.  If something *really* horrible happens and she does something so outrageous that it makes media attention, someone will be sent to her to calm her down, handle it, adjust memories, things like that.  Emilia's had to do that with a few kids over the summer vacation that've burst out with accidental magic."

"Oh."  He looked a bit happier at that.  "How soon can you contact them?"

Greg patted himself down.  "Go get my phone from Hodges and give me her particulars.  I can do it now."  Nick smiled and went to do that.

Brass walked past the door, then backed up.  "Taking a break?"

"No.  Handling a small problem for Nick."

"Oh.  Any good news?"

"I think that shoeprint on the wall is more significant than not, but I'll have to blow up that picture to get a good resolution."

"Fine.  Let me know ASAP."

"Yes, sir," he said, shooting off a salute with a grin.

"Sloppy, kid. You need to work on that." Nick came back so he looked him over.  "You getting better?"

"A lot.  They think I'll get to miss my last treatment.  I'm down to nearly no wrong cells."

"Good.  Remember the sunscreen, Nick."  He walked on, heading to go bother someone else.

Greg took the note Nick was writing out and looked up a number, getting a tired sounding voice.  "Let me guess it's been a bad day?" he teased.  "Nope.  One of my coworkers thinks he found someone with potential gifts.  Yeah.  Sure, I can email it instead.  Bad day?"  He listened, then groaned, holding his head.  "Man!  What happened?"  He shook his head quickly.  "Sandburg's somewhere in Chicago, probably still with Kowalski, but I'm not sure what sort of shape he's in.  If you can't, I might be able to swing some time to come out and sub, but not that much.  Sure.  Maybe by video or something?  I work nights and...."  Someone stared in the door of the lab. "Reporting something, boss."  He went back to listening.  "Sure.  Yeah, let me know.  No, I've got my cell back again.  Sure, man.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "The present master at Chicago knocked himself silly with a flying cauldron when he made a fairly complicated mistake."  Nick snickered a bit. "It's not hard to do, but you'd think the guy would duck.  He's got a backup but we're not sure what she's doing."  He looked at Grissom.  "Someone with potential.  I need to email it to him."

"Sure, thanks, man."  Nick grinned and walked out, heading back to his lab.  He came back a minute later.  "That diary?  A full month?"

Greg nodded. "And I expect a lot of complaints about the stench of most sunscreens."

"Yes, sir."  He went back to his lab.

Greg put it in his pocket after making a note on the top, then looked at their boss, motioning him closer.  "Come look at this, I found a footprint on the wall and I think I can blow one up to rule out our not-right suspect."

Grissom came in to look, then up at him.  "I saw that and it's iffy.  It's a fairly typical dollar store sneaker print."

"Yeah, but our guy was worth money.  Did he wear dollar store shoes?"

"Not that I know of," Grissom admitted.  He looked at him, then where he was sitting, then back at him.  Greg slid down with a grin.  "Thank you.  What else was that about?"

"Nick thinks he ran into a kid with potential.  I called Chicago to put her on the watch lists but they're in the middle of problems.  Their potion teacher knocked himself silly," he offered with a small grin.  "I said I could teach during the days, probably by video lessons. I didn't think I could take off six weeks to deal with them while he had a concussion."

"No, you're about out of leave time," he agreed.  "There was a magical explosion down on the strip, just past the old Mirage sign.  We don't know what's going on but Penn called and said your wife is fine."

Greg flipped open his phone and called his overlord's secretary.  "What happened to Emilia?" he asked.  "No, this is Greg, dear.  What happened to my wife?"  He listened, then groaned.  "Is it handled or not?"  He whimpered.  "Sure.  Come see me when I get home.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Someone was dueling.  I've got to make a magic nulling potion to turn him back into a human.  The other one nearly died."  He rubbed his forehead.  "I hate people sometimes."

"You can always go hide in your house and make potions," Grissom reminded him dryly.  "That way you won't have to deal with them."

"Yeah, but then I'd miss the fun and the soap opera qualities that we've got around here."  He gathered his pictures together.  "Who has the negative of that one?"

"Warrick.  That's how I know it's a dollar store sneaker and that the vic doesn't wear them."

"Oh, good.  So I'm duplicating again?"

"Yeah, but Ecklie is going to come to you soon and beg you to go into the lab.  Our dayshift replacement just freaked out and had a panic attack.  We think he's going to flunk his drug test."  Greg groaned, shaking his head, hanging it a bit.  "Your replacement is heading there so we need you back in the lab."

"Man!" he whined.

"Emilia liked you in the lab.  She's been worried about you."

"She might be, but I want more, Griss!"

"I know, Greg, but for right now, we need you more in the lab.  So head there.  Go back to playing board games and that stuff."

"I can't.  I don't have anyone willing to play with me."  He walked off, heading to his locker to change and take a quick shower so he'd be clean for the lab.  He had been outside a bit too often already.  Hodges leaned out of his lab and he frowned at him.  "Don't even say it."

"Say what?  I was going to ask if I could have my phone back."

Greg held it up.  "My phone."

"Ooops."  He grinned a bit.  "Have you seen mine?"

"No."  He tossed it back.  "You're paying for any overages this month."

"Thanks, Greg.  I'll file for my new one tomorrow."

"Just answer it if it rings for me and take a message!"

"Fine.  What's going on," he called as Greg walked off again.

"Chicago."

"Oooh."  He pulled back in and called his girlfriend again.  Greg wouldn't mind.  Much.

***

Ginny limped back into the school, frowning at the woman who came out to meet her.  "Not one word," she warned.

"Fine," McGonagall said, giving her a short hug.  "Are you all right?"

"I tripped on the walk up."  She handed over a letter.  "For you and Professor Snape.  Where am I supposed to be?"

"The infirmary."

"Fine," she mumbled, heading that way. She had now found the downside to being a Valkyrie.  Her horse went into heat and she hated it.  She trudged that way, running into her favorite teacher.  "I hate your family," she told him.

Professor Armwrench smiled and nodded. "It's a mutual distaste on my part.  They haven't tried to understand me for centuries."  He looked her over.  "Need a warm bath?"

"I had one of those and thankfully my brother kept me from drinking from the fertility well."  She headed past him, going to get her ankle fixed.  Not that she wanted to, but it was keeping her out of potions.  She was sure she'd end up in there, it was how her luck was going today. She ran into Professor Snape up there, giving him a dirty look.  "Don't say it, I tripped."  She looked at the nurse.  "Professor McGonagall said to report to you before classes."

"You turned your ankle?"  She nodded, hopping up to let her look at it.  "It's not too bad."

"No, but I didn't want to complain to that woman.  She had that scary look in her eyes again.  That Harry and Ron took the flying car look."

"Well, your mother was here earlier, they had a bit of tea," the nurse offered with a slight smile.  "She was demanding to know when your brother was coming back."

"Nice to know she cares that I disappeared again," Ginny said darkly.  Snape glared at her.  "Let me guess, I've got you next?"

"Last period."

"Oh, good.  I missed you already," she said.  "At least something's looking up."

"Your horse is in my classroom."

"Hey, yell at her.  Apple's pretty damn smart, professor. If you want her out, tell her not me.  She won't listen to me since I didn't have anything there for her to mate with.  She had to come back here to jump the unicorn."

He raised an eyebrow.  "Didn't you have fun?"

She stared at him for a minute before leaning forward to cover the nurse's ears.  Then she got to glare at him. "I had sex straight through the last two weeks, Snape.  I'm tired, my bum is sore, and I had to deal with Draco Bloody Malfoy trying to bugger me and Alex both.  You tell me!"  He snorted, looking amused at that.  "Let's be bloody well thankful Ron kept me from drinking from the fertility well, as my older brother Bill suggested I should."  He lost his good humor, looking a bit alarmed at that.  "Now, I've got a pregnant horse to nurture and fuss over.  I'm bloody well sore and tired.  I turned my ankle on the hike up from the town since my horse decided she wanted to cuddle you instead of giving me a ride since I thoughtlessly went somewhere without a playmate for her, and I think we woke up an ancient God.  Do you really think I had fun?"

"You...woke up an ancient God?"

"Yeah, Alex said to tell ya that the temple suddenly lit itself up the last time they went in there to work on stuff.  Something about Cupid and Strife's honeymoon from what I got from the walls."

He shuddered.  "Do you need a potion to remove any impediments to your future studies?"

She gave him her dirtiest look, which only got a small, evil smirk in return.  "Hell no!  I know my contraceptive charms!"  Snape nodded once and left.  She uncovered the nurse's ears, giving her a small shrug.  "Sorry, didn't think you wanted polluted with that."

"No, that's all right," she assured her.  "I didn't need to know those things.  Did you tell Professor Armwrench?"

"Like Dumbledore, isn't he supposed to be omnipotent?" she asked dryly.  "I'll tell Dawn and Luna.  If he doesn't know, he'll hear them cooing over it."

Professor Armwrench stuck his head in.  "You woke up *who*?"

"Not a bloody clue.  Go find Bill and see who's possessing him this time. Remind him if he's gonna quit like mum wants him to, he'll end up with a real job and a baby within a year."

"I could never let one of mine suffer that way," he said grimly.  "Where are they?"

"Still down there.  Last I knew, Alex was whining to be let go so he could screw Draco into the altar so he started to become sane again.  Can't you hear 'em?"

"I can.  He keeps invoking me.  He got the others free and is presently singing a lullaby."  He frowned.  "Behave while I'm gone."

"Yeah, sure we will," she said dryly, smirking a bit.  "Because I'm *so* like that!"

"Fine.  At least get your horse out of the potions classroom then.  I'm sure he'll appreciate it and maybe even not take points."

"Apple's a smart girl.  She goes where she wants, not where I want."

"Fine. Whatever. Just try to behave."  He disappeared, landing in a clearing, looking at Bill Weasley as he appeared.  "Well, you picked a different look this time," he noted dryly.  "I'd have thought you'd have went for Potter since he looks more like you."

Bill scratched the back of his head and shrugged. "He was easier."  He looked around, then back at him.  "What's going on?  First I get woken up by the smartass who sounds a lot like Ares, and then they keep whinin' about havin' sex ta clear the blond one's mind.  Then they start making bad jokes and they're all yours?"

"My curse breakers.  They're still invoking me."

Bill frowned.  "Why're they yours?"

Loki shrugged.  "There's not many of us who can get back here, Strife.  As you've found out.  What woke you up?"

"The smartass sounding one who sounds like Unc!"  He frowned a bit as first one girl, then two more appeared, one holding a bow.  "Uh-huh.  Cute."  He looked at the second girl.  "You're cuter though," he said with a small leer.

"I think you'd find my consort would mind rather a lot," Luna offered dryly.

"What do I care about mortals?" he noted dryly.

Luna coughed and Ethan, Wesley, and Tara showed up.  "They're my consorts, all but the girl.  I've liked many things but I never had a thing for girls."

Tara looked at them.  "Why am I here?"

"I don't know," Ginny noted.  She looked at her teacher.  "Since I felt his lifeline start to snap, I'm here to gather him so he can at least experience *some* fun after he's dead.  Not that he's prone to fun now."  She looked at her brother's body.  "You do know you picked

the least fun of all of us, right?  That Bill hasn't had fun in years?  And no sex in decades?"

Bill's possessor shook their head.  "You should hear him swear, young lady."

"Sorry if the truth hurts, but I know some fourth year Hufflepuffs that have more fun than he does, and more sex too."  Luna nodded at that and the cloaked figure behind her giggled and nodded. "Then again, I'm sure he'll get some fun in Valhalla.  Probably trying to dress the barmaid floosies and the like.  It's not like he'll participate or get drunk like the rest of them do."

Professor Armwrench looked at her.  "Didn't one of them try to dress you like them?"

"Yeah, and I smacked the idiot warrior on the head with a mead urn when he tried to pinch me too.  He was not happy to interrupt his drinking to go take a real bath.  Odin asked why I had broken the rules and I pointed out I took a vow of chastity and if he wanted to get so grabby, I'd do it again.  He said I was supposed to be in my leathers, I told him I wanted the damn rule book so I could find out these things and so I could figure out how to punish the stupid sluts who tried this shit with the Valkyries.  He was amused.  Frigg was even more amused, Loki.  You missed that part.  I went off on some of the idiots up there.  Then, when your daddy so very nicely sent me back to the kitchens to cook instead, I suggested to Frigg that maybe he needed some more entertainment in his life.  Something like a shieldmate.  It might make him happy again.  She looked really confused until I told her that if he had one, she wouldn't be getting beer-breathed all the time.  She found him six that night and let him pick."  She leaned against his arm.  "We figured you were rolling somewhere since she let Thor pick 'em for him."

Loki hugged his poor, deluded student.  "I love you and yes, the whole class got a burst of energy."

"We were thankful we weren't in the Great Hall, or else an orgy might've started," Luna told him.

"You're much too young for orgies," Ethan and Wesley said together.

"Sorry, dears," she offered with a grin, flicking off her cloak so she could snuggle between them.

Bill looked at the girl.  "I like that outfit.  'Dite would look so cool in that."

"Feel free to show me off," Luna said with a cheeky smirk.  "Is she awake too?  I wanted to ask her advice on something I'm trying."

"No love potions," Loki and Ginny said in unison.

"Sorry."  She went back to snuggling into the warm arms.  "Ginny, where's Apple?"

"Snuggling up to Professor Snape for special sugar treats.  She's still mad that I went somewhere without a beast for her."

Loki looked at the girl, then shook his head.  "I'm not going there."

"Yeah, me either.  Though, with how Alex and Draco like it, I can't ride anyway."  She sent a thought to her mare but got back an evil sounding snort in return.  "Nope, she's still mad."

Loki shook his head.  "I ...."  He shivered and looked at his former buddy again.  "Are you sure you want to stay awake?"

"No but I keep getting woken up."  He pouted a bit.  "I don't know why but every now and then I get woken up and everything's so wrong and odd.  The last time there was all this pollution and nastiness and blank spots."  He looked around.  "There's still blank spots."

"Those are probably the schools of magic," Luna told him.

"Huh?" he asked, looking at her.  "What schools of magic?  Ya mean like Hecate's magic stuff?  Like wands and crystals and dead things?"

"That too," she agreed.  "Everyone here but my two stallions and Tara went to the same magical school.  Loki teaches at it."

Bill looked at his buddy.  "You teach?"

Loki smirked.  "I teach sex ed and other practical life skills to the last year."

Strife burst out giggling, sparkles flying from all around him.  "I wanna do that!  You've got to get energy by the assload.  And you've still got priests out wandering around getting into mischief."

"My curse breakers are my favorite toys," Loki agreed with a grin.  "You ran into my high priests and two students, plus a veela consort."

"Ron used to wonder why Bill used to get into so much trouble," Ginny noted dryly.  "Then he went to Egypt and suddenly it's gone."

"Not hardly," Loki assured her.

"Okay, but he doesn't get to have any fun while he's doing it."

"No, he hasn't had much fun," Loki admitted, putting an arm around her shoulders.

Bill's face scrunched up.  "I didn't know that Phonecians had swear words for that subject."  Ginny smirked a bit at him.  "He's swearing about your clothes."

She flicked a hand and suddenly she was in her working outfit.  Which made Bill's mouth drop open and a few of those swears come out.  "As I said, if he dies, I'm gathering him.  Battling a possessive God should be enough since he's a curse breaker and one of the higher ones.  They all get to head to Valhalla."

Bill giggled.  "Oh, man!  He's goin' now!  He wanted to know what your mother thought of that outfit."

Ginny snickered.  "Not much she can do about the official uniform, now is there?" she asked dryly.  She looked up at her favorite professor.  "Did you get to design the outfits?  I always wanted to know what man decided we could ride and not show our bums in six-inch leather skirts."

"Thor did it," he said dryly.  "He's always considered himself a stud."

"Boring blond guy?  A stud?"  She snorted and shook her head.  "You can't pay me enough to sleep with Thor.  I'd sleep with Hel before I slept with Thor and I don't like girls."  Loki and Strife both giggled at that.  "Why don't you jump out of Bill and into a more fun body?  Shit, go take over one of the twins.  Tipsy might like that.  Or their kids, they've got four, they can let you borrow one for a bit.  I'm sure Joxer would love to host you."

"Joxer?" Strife asked his buddy.  "He's alive?"

"He's an immortal like Professor Methos and yeah, he's in Tibet somewhere with Duncie Poo.  They're angsting on each other.  Jett said so."  Loki smirked a bit evilly.  "Tipsy Ramvette's oldest daughter was named after him.  They saw the tv show."  He moved forward to show off the images of that show.  "They got you frightfully well, old friend."

"Oooh, pranksters," he moaned, shivering a bit.  Then he tipped his head to the side.  "You're right, Sprout, he said this is the most fun he's had in a few weeks, but I just gave him nasty thoughts.  Now he's swearin' at me."

"Shit happens when you don't have fun in your life."

Strife nodded.  "True.  He's not one of mine anymore," he sighed, looking at Loki.  "You really teach?"

"I really teach sex ed," he agreed smugly.  "Half the boys and girls hit on me.  Most of them bring me dirty ideas to see if they're possible....."  He looked at Ginny and shook his head.  "I can't even bend that way and I'm a God, dear."

"Oh, well," she sighed.  "Can we do it on horseback?"

"Only if yours is in heat," Luna reminded her.

"That'll be after she has a little horned foal."

"Winged.  Her father's horn won't come through."

"Pity.  I think she'd look pretty with a horn and wings."

Loki shrugged.  "Sorry, the magic is overriding.  What'll you do if it's a male?"

"Protect him from the meaner snots up there?"

"Good idea," the cloaked girl noted.  "Maybe you can find him someone within the school."

"It'll take him a century to grow up enough to choose a girl," Loki assured her.  "If Ginny's still a Valkyrie at that time, she'll have first right of helping him."  Ginny beamed at that.  "Of course, by then, you might have driven Odin mad and he might have closed Valhalla."  Strife snickered at that.  "She really does.  Frigg, Freya, and Hel all like her more."

"How did you meet Hel?" Ethan asked, looking confused.

"Odin was pissed at me and needed a messenger.  He knew not to send males to Hel so he sent me.  We had tea and it was really nice.  She was very sweet to me, said I reminded her a lot of herself."  She grinned a bit.  "I like Hel.  I'm going to visit her for Solstice this year."  She grinned at Loki.  "She said I could bring you too and she wouldn't tell your father."

He smirked a bit.  "We'll see.  I might have plans."

"Hey, if you want Bill, have him.  I'm sure you'll treat him right, use plenty of lube, give him backrubs when his back goes from all the sex, and feed him appropriately so he's slow enough to catch easily for another round."

Strife giggled, leaning on his friend's shoulder.  "That's why I teach sex ed," Loki said, patting him on the back and giving his favorite students a grin.  They shared a look.  "She's his little sister."

"What about the red-haired guy there?"

"That's his younger brother, just older than Ginny here."

"Oh."  Strife pouted.  "What about the dark haired guy?"

"Harry?  He's not taken but he likes girls," Ginny told him. "He's always liked girls, he's just shy and can't figure out what to do with a girl.  Is he still running from girls?" she asked Loki.

He nodded, patting her on the back.  "He is.  It's the mark of a future high priest of mine.  Alex did the same bloody thing a few times," he sighed in pleasure.  "Those Arabian princesses were very good to me."  He suddenly glared at Luna.  "Desist, Lovegood."  She just smiled and snuggled deeper into Wesley's arms.  "Her mental capabilities have been going downhill.  Apparently her sanity comes directly shooting out of you two and she hasn't had any recent dosages.  I'd fix that."  He looked at the giggling cloaked person.  "Cold?"

"Fairly," she admitted, pushing back her hood.  "It's winter.  Remember, I'm from a warm spot and it's not like I've got my man here to cuddle me.  And I'd never cuddle you, you like boys and might take my Ron from me."

Bill stared at her, mouth open.  "The Key," he said in awe, reaching over to touch her hair.  "How're you human!"

"Monks.  Glorificus came for me."

"Wow."  He saw a small tingling of magic starting and frowned, shielding himself and the girls.  A blonde woman appeared on the ground and Dawn groaned. "You know her?"

"Yeah, anti-sanity goddess.  Can't you do something?" she asked Loki.  She pulled out her dagger and handed it over. "You can borrow it."

Ethan leaned down and pulled something off her, starting to nibble it.  "Hmm, she's rather tasty."  He took another nibble..

"That's *so* disgusting," Dawn said dryly.  "Can't you kill her?"

"Nope.  She's a higher demon."

Dawn took back her dagger and gripped it tightly, moving closer.  "There's no way you're taking me or Tara, bitch."  Bill stopped her and took the dagger, shaking his head.  He bound her and looked at Loki, who added to it.  "What!"

"Don't, kid.  It's not good for you," Bill said gently enough, clapping her on the back.  He put the dagger back for her, then went back to his buddy's side.  "You really handle the three of them?"

"For this year and next," Ginny said with a small smirk.

Loki looked down at her. "Next?"

"Next.  It's not like I can make up all the shit I missed thanks to Apple."

"Point," he sighed.   "Or maybe I could help?"

"You'd still have me," Dawn reminded him with a smile. "For four more years, Professor."  Then she smiled her sweetest grin.  "You can help me prepare to join Ron in the field."

Loki considered it, then moaned. "Fine, Ginny may stay next year as well."  Luna bounced up and down.  "You need sanity before you come back today and then we'll see."

"That's about what we've said as well," Ethan admitted. He patted Luna on the back, looking at the black leather vest-like halter top that barely cleared her breasts.  Then at the tight leather pants.  "Perhaps we should adjourn now since they obviously have it."

Wesley gave him an odd look.  "No way in hell, Ethan."

"Fine," he grumbled, holding Luna closer.  "Maybe we should take our precious little empress back to the school?"

"And traumatize her teachers?" Wesley suggested with a smirk.  "Did not Professor Snape say he would do a banishing charm on you this time?"

"That means he'd have to catch me."  They looked at the new twinkle forming into Professor Snape.  "Well.  This is interesting.  Someone needs shields."

"I've got mine up, quit fussing, Ethan!" Dawn complained.

"Not you, it's us when we get together," Loki assured her.  He looked at Snape, then pointed at Bill. "He's a bit possessed."

Snape looked at him, then rolled his eyes.  "I had wondered why Draco and Alex's minds suddenly cut out then came back complaining.  Are Potter and Weasley dead?"  Dawn glared at him and he stepped back at that.  He knew what she was capable of.  "Sorry, Miss Summers."

"Oh, you will be.  Remember, I've still got four years."  He shuddered at that.

"Now, now, don't torture your family," Wesley chided gently, frowning at her.  "Your sister would be most disappointed in you.  Please, Gods, don't bring her here either."  They all waited but Buffy didn't show up.  Wesley smiled and relaxed.  "Thank you."

"Hey, sometimes it works and sometimes it don't," Bill told him.  He looked at Dawn, who was glaring at him now. "What?"

"You only bring bad guys?"

"Apparently this time.  Last time we got together we got drunk and a bunch'a girls like the redhead here ended up strippin' for us."

"I heard about that," Ginny assured him.  "Not gonna happen this time."

"Who is inside him?" Snape asked Wesley.

"Strife."

"Beside his natural instincts," Snape noted.  Strife giggled and nodded.  "Oh, no."  He grinned bigger and nodded again. "They woke you up?"

"Yup.  One'a the guys yellin' at the others sounded just like Unc and I know better'n ta not listen ta 'im."

"You're taking over more. Your accent's coming back," Loki noted.   Odin appeared, looking very confused.  "One of mine woke him, Father.  He was hiding in Malgadesh."

"Ah."  He nodded, smiling at Ginny, then looking around.  "No horse?"  She concentrated, sending her horse a very nasty thought about how she was making her look bad in front of Odin, again, and her horse sighed, appearing to nuzzle him.  "There you are."  He stroked her neck.  "What's wrong, Apple?"

"She's mad because when she went into heat I got sent somewhere without anything for her.  She's being a petty, pregnant bitch at the moment and sucking up to Professor Snape to make her treats."

"I see."  He checked her over.  "A very nice filly, Apple.  Congratulations."  She nuzzled him and he smiled.  "Now, make up with your girl, dear.  It's not her fault and no one said you had to go with her.  I doubt they wanted that anywhere near the school, she might have scared people."  Her horse sighed and came over to nuzzle her, getting the good pets she usually did.

"Better now?" Ginny asked her.  She nodded, lipping her cheek.  "Thanks, dear.  Now, we've got to gather Bill when Strife there kills him.  So we're going to stay for a bit."  Apple nudged her.  "No, I don't need to sit, dear.  I can't sit yet."  Apple seemed to snicker but left it at that.  Odin looked at her.  "They sent me to Alex Dumass and his current consort!  You try sitting after two weeks of that!"

Odin frowned for a moment, then looked at Loki.  "That dark haired bastard with the evil smirk and the really good bladework?  Him?"  He grinned and nodded. "Isn't he yours?"

"Which was why we sent Ginny to him when she went into heat.  He's wenched his way around the world, twice, and we decided it'd be kinder not to put her with someone stupid, like Thor."

"Like I said before, you can't pay me enough to sleep with big, blond, and stupid."

"Ah."  Odin nodded, smiling at Ginny.  "Was it good?"

"I can hit you again," she retorted, staring him down, making him laugh.  "Really."

Strife shivered. "Oooh, he just started mixing Greek and Egyptian swears."

"She was Thor's plan to drive the Allfather insane," Loki told him.

Strife looked at Ginny, then giggle.  "I can see why."

Ginny pulled an arrow.  "We can always gather him now."

"Nah, I'll leave him livin'," he promised with a grin. Ginny raised an eyebrow.  "He's your big brother, isn't he?"  She nodded, smirking a bit evilly herself.  "Oooooh."   His poor borrowed body wasn't going to be recovering anytime in the near future.  He looked at Odin.  "A guy who reminded me a lot of Unc woke me."

"That would be Alex Dumass," Loki assured him.  Odin moaned.  "He's assigned to Malgadesh, father, with his apprentices and Bill here. Why Strife didn't take over Ron I'm not sure.  He would have had more fun."

"He wasn't as easy to slide into," Strife complained.  "So, what else did I miss?"

"Um, a lot," Ginny told him. "It's the next millennium now, Lord Strife."

He grimaced.  "No wonder I woke up with a bad taste in my mouth.  The mead musta grown fur on my tongue."  Loki snickered, nodding.  "Or you did it?"

"I haven't been able to get down there, old friend.  I'd gladly come visit if I could.  But no, you missed some wars...."  A new twinkle started and Odin captured this one, encasing him in a little ball.  "Thank you, Father.  We'd just gotten rid of him last year.  If I hadn't been tied up, I might've stopped it sooner."

Odin looked at him.  "You do things to warrant being tied up, son.  What did you want me to do, reward you?"

"Isn't that his nature?" Ginny asked.  "Along with his Godhood?  Seriously, Allfather, you can't expect a chaos or mischief God to be *nice* and sweet and *delicate*."

"Hey, I am so!" Strife complained.

"Delicate?  Not in that body," she snorted.

"No, in his original one he was," Loki admitted.  "But she's right, father. I am a chaos God.  Let's be thankful I'm less like Coyote."  Odin shuddered at that.  "I could easily be."

"You could," he admitted dryly, looking at Ginny.  "Isn't it these sort of discussions that made me offer you a reserve spot?"

She smirked a bit.  "I thought it was the teas with Hel personally, Allfather."

He raised an eyebrow then nodded.  "True.  I had forgotten about that."  He shook his head quickly, looking at Strife. "How can we best help you, son?"

"*You're* my dad?" he demanded.

"Figure of speech, Strife.  Otherwise you'd be a blond," Loki noted dryly.

"You're not," Dawn noted.

Odin looked at her.  "Miss Summers.  I was trying to ignore you."  She smirked a bit and winked.  He shivered.  "We should end this extraordinary meeting before others get drawn in."  Apple snorted and nodded, nudging Ginny, who made her a carrot.  Her horse nudged her again so Odin created a sugar plum and she delicately took it from his hand.  "They all like sweets when they're stuffed up, daughter."

Ginny nodded.  "Sure. I'll remember that."  She nibbled on the carrot herself, looking at Bill while she sucked on the end for a moment, then she knocked the arrow back, looking at him.

"Whoa!" Strife said, backing away, hands upraised.

Someone tapped Ginny on the back.  "Can I have the arrow for a moment, dear?  It'll help more if it's charmed," a smooth, soft, velvety voice said in her ear.  She handed it back with a grin for the blond man standing there.  He was tall, well built, and had pearl gray wings. He ran his hand over the arrow, making it glow for a moment, then handed it back.  "There ya go.  Shoot away."

She aimed and fired as soon as her brother's body took off running, getting him almost where she intended. "I've really got to learn how to bank shots," she complained as she walked over there to remove her arrow.  Bill glared at her.  "I was aiming for your bunghole, Bill.  I figured you'd learn to like it like Alex did," she offered with a grin, stepping on him as she walked over him to return to the meeting area.  The winged guy was gone.  "Who was the hottie?"

"Bliss," Loki sighed.  "He has such potential."

Ginny nodded.  "Yeah, as every woman's wet fantasy," she agreed.  "And I guess yours too?"

Loki smirked.  "I like Strife, dear.  I always have.  He's simply...taken."

Odin looked at him.  "You're odd, son.  Hades?"   He appeared, looking very confused.  "Strife woke up.  Take these prisoners since you've probably still got room."   He handed over both bound prisoners.  "Don't let them back out."

"Please don't let the blonde out," Tara said quietly.

He looked at her and nodded.  Then he ran a hand across her head before glaring at the bound woman.  He smiled at her. "You have no need to worry about her escaping."

Dawn walked over and made Glory look at her.  "Just think, the next time I'd be useable, I'll be dead. Then no one gets my energy."  She started to cry.  So Dawn kicked her in the chest, breaking something.  "For my sister."  She walked over her to hug Tara.  "Shh, she'll never have you, sweetheart.  If she even thinks about showing up, you'll be calling me and I'm coming to kick her ass again."  Tara nodded, calming herself down.  When they looked, both Hades and his prisoners were gone.  She smiled and walked her over to where her teacher was.  "Tara, this is Professor Armwrench. He's *the* coolest teacher around."

Tara gave him a small smile. "Thank you for watching over our Dawnie."

"It's a pleasure to do so," he promised, shaking her hand.  She 'eeped' as a redhead appeared, but Odin captured her and sent her off with Apple.  Who came back a moment later to get a new treat.  "Where did you send her?"

"To my wife.  She can help Frig order the warriors around for a bit."  He looked at Ginny.  "Are you coming up for a visit?  The herd stallions must see and sense her foal."

"Hel invited me for tea so she can come up after that."

"That's fine."  He looked at his son.  "If you come up, try to behave, even just a little bit?"

"You want me to suppress my nature and get another energy pregnancy?"

"No!" he said quickly.  "No!  Never again!"  He shook his head and disappeared, taking Tara with him.  She came back a few minutes later, blushing bright red.

"You okay?" Ginny asked.  "I can smack any of the warriors for you."

"No, some blond guy just hit on me," she offered with a shy grin.

"Yeah, that's Thor.  He usually needs to take a bath and wear mittens.  He's got cold hands and keeps trying to warm them up by pinching bums," Ginny said, grinning a bit.  She grinned at her teacher. "Adjourn the meeting so we can all go home?"

"Please," Snape noted.  Two chaos Gods, a Valkyrie, one demon, one demon's consort, one wandless wizard, one wandless witch, him, and Odin were a bit too much for his sensitive system.  He'd go home and drink dinner tonight he decided.

"Let's go home," Loki agreed.  "Luna, wear that on the trip back, dear."  She smiled and nodded, giving each of her men a kiss before heading off.  He took Dawn with him so she wouldn't be left behind.  Ginny got Bill and hauled him with her and Apple.

***

Minerva McGonagall looked at her students as they walked in.  "What was going on?"

"Alex woke something and we had to deal with it," Ginny told her.  "It was in Bill."  She rode her horse up the stairs to the infirmary, handing him over then sliding off with a wince.  "There ya go, big brother.  Maybe now you'll have more fun in your life."  She smirked and strolled off, heading to dinner.  She was really hungry for some reason.

Bill started to glare, muttering swears under his breath as the nurse fixed the new hole in his buttcheek.  She leaned down to kiss him on the cheek.  "She's a valkyrie now, William, it could be much worse.  She said most of them have dirtier minds."

"She's got a bad enough one," he complained.  She smiled and handed him an ice mouse, letting him get up and head down to dinner as well.  He glared at his sister as he walked in. "When did this happen!"

"Mum didn't tell you?"

"No!  And Ron sent me away while you were down there!  What the bloody hell is going on, Ginny!"

"I'm a Valkyrie," she said dryly.  "One of Odin's daughters who goes to gather the fallen soldiers for Valhalla.  And Loki's cursebreakers too.  The best end up with them."  He gaped, then shook his head and stomped off. "Mum knows, Bill, go talk to her.  Sorry about the arrow, but it got him out of you!" she called after him. He slammed the Great Hall's doors and she giggled.  "Well, looks like he's going to find a girl and become sane again."

Her tablemates looked at her like she was insane.  Then they looked at the other two of the Unholy Trio and shuddered because they were happy and grinning too while wearing leather. They decided, en masse, that they didn't want to know.

***

Alex came out of the floo later that night, sore and aching, pouting a bit. His aunts all looked at him.  "The site's on hold for two weeks while we let the Gods go back to sleep," he complained.  He flopped down, pouting at Draco as he came out of the floo.  "Did you remember to ship all the stuff back to the swamp before we came back?"  He nodded, sliding into his lap to get a hug.  "Thanks."

"You're welcome."  He looked at the women.  "Harry and Ron went to the Burrow.  They'll be in tomorrow morning."  Ron and Harry walked down the hall giggling. "Or not."

"What's going on?" Alex called.

"Bill got shot in the bum by Ginny," Ron said, grinning as he leaned into the room.  "Mum's going insane so we're hiding here again.  We heading down to the swamp tonight or tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow. I want a *real* bath," Harry complained.  "How many more days before the kids come home?" he asked, leaning under Ron's arm.

"Two days, Harry," Aunt Cordy said, smiling back at them.  "When are you leaving again?"

"Two days after Christmas," Ron said dryly.  "We're restocking the site before then.  Alex, I pulled up a guardian spirit."  Alex nodded.  "His first words were 'not again'?"

"Oh, him.  That's fine.  He's used to being called to sites.  He won't set anything off," he offered with a small grin. "He's a former one of us who got stupid and died doing something really dumb."

Ron nodded. "Sure.  At least he's not bored in his afterlife."  He grinned. "I'm for a bath, mate.  Aunt Cordy, can we have dinner in the bath tonight?"

"Sure, Ron," she agreed, getting up to fix them something to eat.  She pinched his cheek. "You're turning into such a good curse breaker, dear."

"Thanks, Aunt Cordy.  It's kinda neat.  We woke up a God."  He disappeared, running up the stairs.

"Ron, I'm taking the guest suite," Harry called as he walked more slowly.  "You have our bath."

"Thanks, Harry."

Alex kissed Draco.  "Which one do you want?"

"Ours.  With you."

"I thought we'd soak and then take a bath together, that way we don't make the tub really nasty."

"Point," he admitted.  "I'll take the secondary guest suite?"

"Dad's usually in there and since Aunt Cordy's here I'm guessing he is."

"Your father's in Diagon," one of the other aunts offered.  "He shouldn't be back for at least an hour.  But go ahead and use the pregnant woman's rooms, Draco."  He smiled and nodded, getting up to use the *good* tub.

Alex stood up with a stretch.  "Thanks, Aunt Nadia.  I'm off to soak too.  If a goblin calls, I'll be available for stuff tomorrow."  He headed up at a run.  He liked his coming home baths.  They were one of his favorite parts of the job.  By the time he got up there, his bath was drawn, a house elf had a plate and pitcher waiting on him, and a book was on top of the tray as well.  "Thanks, Me."  He stripped off, handing her his clothes.  "The rest of the packs should be in the swamp, we'll get 'em tomorrow for you."  She nodded and disappeared as he sank into the water, hissing at the heat of it.  "Oooh, nice," he moaned as he finished sinking in, just letting the sand soak out of his skin for now. He needed this.

***

Greg smiled as the train pulled into the station, nodding Lindsey over when she came off.  "Hey, pumpkin.  Where's your stuff?"

"I checked it."  She walked him to the baggage claim.  "Mom on assignment?"

"No.  She's laid up with a broken foot."  She looked at him.  "She kinda fell during a night- time site.  Broke three bones.  She'll be laid up the whole vacation for you."  Lindsey grinned at that.  He pointed.  "Trunk."  She hefted it off, letting him carry it.  "So, how was your first term?"

"Pretty good.  Some of the girls there are just so cool," she offered with a smile, bouncing along beside him. "They don't mind I'm American and they like a bunch of the same stuff I do.  It's been pretty good so far.  Dawn was right, there's a hierarchy in the house but I'm staying out of it, which means I don't get into the petty politicking and stuff.  I made friends in other houses as well, like you suggested, but I made plenty within my own house.  We don't have the rivalry you guys do, but...."  She stopped, staring at the guy standing in their way.  "Overlord," she said with a smile, bowing a bit.  "I promise I won't be naughty while I'm in on vacation."

He shrugged. "We don't have a Ministry.  For all I care, practice away, Lindsey."  He glared at Greg.  "Where is my assistant?"

"'Mil's with Cat since she broke her foot.  I had to make Cat a pain killer and I needed someone to watch her for a few hours to make sure she didn't have a reaction or get too stoned."

"Fine."  He frowned a bit.  "Did you drive?"

"No, I was going to pop over," he said dryly.  "Of course I drove!"

Penn smiled. "Good, then you can drive her to the meeting tomorrow night so she can learn some of the other kids in town.  Teller's niece is having her birthday party at the usual spot."  He handed Lindsey an invitation.  "All of us are invited.  It's so we can snipe at each other about how bad the other kids are.  Watch out for the niece and Maybrek.  She's a snotty brat, kiddo."

"Sure.  Thank you, Mr. Penn. I'd be honored to go."

"Good.  Don't worry about your mom not being able to come.  Just bring Greg."

"What if he's on call?"

"Then I'll beat Grissom in chess again and win him another night off."  He grinned and went to gather the other kids he was here to pick up.

Greg grinned at her.  "I'm off anyway.  It happens about every year."  He walked her out to his car, making the parking ticket disappear from his windshield and the system completely.

***

Lindsey smiled as she walked into the restaurant, handing over her invitation.  "Hi," she said with a shy smile.

"No mother tonight?" Teller asked happily.

"She broke her foot.  Greg got called on a case and Emilia said it's unfair of her to leave the kids with Mon since she can't chase after them."  She shrugged.  "She said I could handle it tonight and to beat the snot out of anyone who tried to make fun of me."

Teller laughed.  "You'll do fine, Lindsey.  Straight back, the pink door.  She's got a thing for pink."

"Is she related to Dawn?"

"No.  She doesn't squeal that way," he offered with a smile.  "Go ahead."  She nodded, heading that way.  The doors opened for her and she was announced to the people in the reception line.  "Am I late?" she offered.

"No," the girl promised, smiling at her.  "I don't know you.  No parents, Lindsey?"

"Mom's got a broken foot and Greg's on a case so Emilia's stuck with the kids."  She handed over the present she had found with Emilia's help earlier today, which was why she knew it was mean to make her mother watch the kids. "Here, for you," she said happily.

"Thank you."  She put it on the pile.  "Go ahead and play.  Where do you go?  Andromeda?"

"Canada."

"Oooh."  She smiled and looked around, then pointed.  "There's two more of you here," she offered, pointing.  "Over there by the punch."

She looked and nodded.  "Yeah, two of our society cows."  She grinned. "Thanks.  Any cute guys?"  They shared a giggle and a few were pointed out.  "Cool!  Maybe I'll see you when I'm hanging around with Greg.  Later, birthday girl."  She headed off to the dance floor.  One of her classmates glared at her so she beamed.  "Greg's out on a job."

"Doing what?" one sneered.  The doors blew open and Lindsey glared when the rest screamed. "What is *he* doing here!"

Lindsey pulled her wand, pointing it at him.  "Out!  Now!  I won't have you here!  You're ruining a young lady's birthday party!"  The man sneered.  "Petrificus totallis!"  The man tried to duck but she still cast a pretty wide beam.  She got him and two others. "Oops."  She walked over there to uncurse the kids, then stuck her head out of the room.  "Um, Mr. Teller?" He came out of the kitchen.  "Someone let in a bad guy.  I just had to freeze the schmuck."

She let him in and he looked down at the body.  "Very nice work, Lindsey.  Very nicely done."  He looked around, then grinned at her.  "Got a few others?"  She nodded.  "Very well done.  This guy's a dumb idiot.  He took Emilia once to force Greg to duel him."  He floated him up and out to the main restaurant, handing him over with a grin, then he went back to make sure the party got started right.  "So, when are you getting your tattoos done as a Bane, Lindsey?"

She grinned.  "Tipsy said I could when I graduated."

"I'm sure you'll make Greg and the rest of the Banes proud, dear."  He hugged his niece when she came over. "Did you meet Lindsey?"

"In the receiving line, Uncle.  You're really good."

"I took some lessons from some of Greg's friends.  Philip was really cool about teaching me how to duel."

"Callahan?" someone asked, poking her on the arm.  "You know Philip Callahan?"

"Yeah, he's a friend of my sponsor's.  Greg went to school with him.  So did Emilia.  I've met lots of their friends.  I've even gotten to babysit the next generation of Weasley pranksters a few times."  The girls around them moaned.  She beamed. "It's pretty cool.  Joxer still hates clothes.  Takes them off all the time in public if you're not careful."

Teller gave her a wink and went to check on the food tables.  She had it well in hand and the other girls were adoring her now.  Canada might even get a small membership boost from having her there. When Greg came in, he nodded at Lindsey, but let him mingle with the other parents.

"Dear, what *are* you wearing?" one mother demanded.

"Clothes, I tend to do that now and then," he noted dryly, grabbing some punch.  "It's not like I can wear robes at the police station.  Lab coats but not robes."  She gasped and he smirked a bit, holding out his hand.  "Greg Sanders."

"Oh, my.  Nice to meet you, sir.  Manatee Gillette."

He nodded politely.  "Nice to meet you.  I'd better find my kid.  'Scuse me."  He looked around and found Lindsey dancing with a very nice looking young man, who was the son of one of the other potion masters in town.  He walked over there, smiling at them.  "Hi, Lindsey.  Your mom extended your curfew until midnight."  She smiled and nodded.  "Bradley."

"Mr. Sanders," he said politely, shaking his hand.  "You know this fair maiden?"

"Lindsey's mom is one of my coworkers at the police station. I'm sponsoring her."

"Well!"  He smiled even more brightly.  "No wonder you get to go somewhere so hard.  Andromeda is so much easier."

"I started in Chicago but they had problems," Lindsey noted with a small smirk.  She looked at Greg.  "Go play.  I'm behaving."

"I know you are.  I'm trying to figure out why there's a hanging curse above this table."

"My mother.  She only wanted me to talk to appropriate people tonight but I'm sure couldn't refuse me this lovely girl's company."

Greg looked at him.  "No smarm, Brad. Where is the old cow?"

"Grazing," he noted, pointing at the food tables.  "She and the others like her."  He nodded, heading that way.  "Sorry, my mother's like that sometimes.  I almost went to Salem but I refused to take the gender reassignment potion."

She shook her head. "I'm so glad my family's reasonable."  He grinned at that.  "You don't mind that my mum's not one of us?"  He shook his head.  "Cool."  She smiled at him.  "Where is Andromeda?"

"All over."

***

Dawn strolled into the house, wearing the clothes she had stopped to buy.  Her aunt looked at the clock, then at her. "Alex said to take my holiday money shopping," she defended.  She shrugged and grinned, holding out her arms. "What do you think?  As good as Ginny's leathers?"

"They're very tight, dear," she replied.  "You look so tiny in them."

"Really?" she asked with a grin.  "Good!  They're also a bit hard to get into."  She strolled up the stairs, looking at Ron napping on their bed.  She cleared her throat and he woke up, yawning as he looked at her.  He ended up choking on the badly needed air. "You like? It's my sister's Christmas present to me."  She turned to let him see them.

"Can you get out of them within the next five seconds?"  She shook her head.  "Then I hate 'em because you look hot enough for other guys to drool.  Out of them, Dawn.  I haven't had my cuddles," he said with a smug smirk.  "Unless you had other plans?"  She kicked the door shut and let him help her peel herself out of them.

Harry tried the doorknob, then sighed and went back downstairs.  "Dawn's back," he announced. "Our room's locked."  Alex and the aunts all giggled at that, nodding a bit.  "Where's Draco?"

"His mother wanted to take him shopping," Alex said fondly.  "So he got to do the Gringotts drop.  He might still be doing paperwork."  He shrugged and dug back into his sandwich.  "Eat, Harry."

"Ron, food!" he yelled up the stairs.

"Bugger off!" Dawn yelled back.  "He can eat more than me later!"

"More than I wanted to know," Harry complained before coming over to eat.  "When are we doing presents?"

"Next week and then you're going to Chicago while Dawn and Ron go to LA."

"They're not heading home for the holidays?"

"Angel told Remus if he brought Sirius or Spike home, he'd skin him and hand him to a dog pound."  He ate another bite.  "I've already helped Spike send back an appropriate response.  After all, Sev's got to do something with all the Pixie Lust Potion and I think Buffy's always looked good in purple."

Harry just stared at him, then moaned and shook his head.  "Those poor vampires.  I'll check with the Ministry later to see if Sirius can come home finally.  They've been working on that for a while now."

Aunt Cordy handed him an envelope.  "From the family barrister, Harry."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "He's a free man.  We can easily accommodate Remus and Spike this year if you wanted."

"No, then we'd have to have Cordy, Tara, and Fred too," Alex reminded her.  "That way no one would have to travel."

"It's not like we've got a full house this year."

He looked at her. Then at Aunt Nadia.  "Nadia, what'll happen if we get Spike, Fred, Wes, Ethan, Cordy, Dawn, Ron, Harry, Draco, me, and a few notable others together?"

"An apocalypse?" she suggested. Aunt Cordy glared at her.  "It would be.  They'd destroy the house again.  Then Alex wouldn't get to go back for the rebuilding."

"Point," she complained, rolling her eyes.  "It can happen for a day or two."

"Fine, it's your sanity," Alex assured her. "I can always go work."  He finished off his sandwich and stood up.  "Speaking of which, I should probably check on the leeching potion."  He headed back to their work area, going to do something that didn't include party favors, travel plans, decorations, or other annoying, cheerful subjects.  His son came down about an hour later to escape as well.  "What're they going over now?"

"How Dawn should have children once she's old enough," he said grimly.  "I firmly refused to teach those heathens anything."  He looked around, then came across the bridge over the moat to help.  "What are you doing?"

"Leeching off the lock spell.  It'll make the box non-magical but the artifact inside can be freed, then I'll reverse it."

Snape watched him work.  "I had no idea this took such meticulous detail work."

"Sometimes, and sometimes it's all destruction and hell."  He grinned at him as the box opened.  "See?"  He freed the box from the potion and took out the artifacts inside, checking them.  Then he put everything back into the potion and reversed it.  "It leeched off the artifacts for the locking spell," he complained, making a note of that.

His son only shook his head.  Alex was insane sometimes.  Truly certifiable.  "You missed the meeting when you woke up Strife."

"No, I heard all about it from Armwrench," he said dryly. "For ten hours that night.  Nasty nightmare images too.  He was naked and Draco was sneering at him."  Snape snickered a bit at that.  "Fortunately I rolled over and went back to sleep when he was done.  Apprentices are a good thing so you can sleep in," he offered with a wicked grin.

Snape nodded.  "I've always thought that about Gryffindors and you did take two of the worst of them.  I'm sure it's only fair since you were probably yelling at them when you woke him up."  Alex nodded, making Snape snicker at the look on his face.  "What had they done?"

"Harry had tried to shove Ron into the fertility fountain in retaliation for snoring so loud.  Claimed it drowned out the sounds of me having sex."

"I find that impossible.  Nothing is louder than you and your consort."

Alex grinned.  "Thanks, that's the nicest compliment I've gotten all day."

Snape gave him a long stare.  "The children in Slytherin are most pleased that they get to sleep this year."

"I can always come visit, Sev."

"Perhaps during exams," he noted dryly.  He and his father shared an evil smirk then got down to work on the next item in line to be fixed/unlocked/freed.

Nippy and Night.

Greg leaned into Hodges' lab, looking a bit naughty and a bit confused.  "Emilia needs me to find her a really special birthday present and I need someone who can deal with snarky and mean people.  Isn't it your day off?"

David Hodges looked at him.  "What did she want?  A particular piece of jewelry?"

"No, a house elf."

"A what?"

"Remember at the school, those things that brought food and stuff?"  He nodded, then shuddered.  "They're house elves.  They're servants and kinda slaves, but they want to be that way.  They wail and scream whenever they're not indebted to a family.  Emilia noted that since she's not exactly a stay at home mom sort and I'm here that someone's got to cook dinner, clean the house, and sometimes babysit, and they like doing that stuff."

David moved closer.  "So, they're like Mistress Heather slaves?"

"Nothing that kinky for normal people, but kinda.  They do it because they like it.  House elves could take over the world if they wanted to, they just don't want to.  They're happier being servants and being ordered around."

"Wow.  That's.....  Why do you need me?"

"Because the only three places I know to get house elves are off Alex, out of the agency, and from the poor ones in the homeless house elf shelter.  So I need someone who can deal with mean people at the agency, snark with Alex possibly, and talk back to the people at the shelter so I don't bring home every house elf there."

"So this is like escorting you to the pound.  A friend to make sure you only come home with one or two instead of all of them?" he asked with a slight smirk.  Greg nodded.  "Fine.  You're right, it's my day off.  I was only doing my filing cabinet again.  When is her birthday?"

"Tomorrow."  He nodded.  "C'mon, I'll do the portkey."

David hung up his lab coat and followed him out to the back part of the station, in the shadows.  He watched as the guy glanced around before pulling his wand and a piece of cardboard out of his pocket.  "Why do you use things like that?"

"In case it gets noticed, someone normal will think it's trash."  He gave him another grin and cast the charm, still glancing around.  Then he swore and hid the wand up his sleeve.  "Detective Vargas," he said, smiling at the man walking their way.  "Pretty day, isn't it?"

"Out for lunch?"

"Preparing for some birthday shopping for my wife.  Emilia wanted something specific and I need David to keep me from going insane and buying her all of them."

"Ah, a pound visit?" he asked, smirking a bit.  "Cardboard?"

"I was going to fold it later on and do something with it."

"Oh.  Okay."  He nodded, walking on.

Greg nudged David once he was around the corner, letting him grab one side of it and sending them off.  They didn't see the detective come back and look really confused.  Or him go to Brass, who told him that it was strange, and then make a very important phone call up the strip.  They landed in Diagon, and David stared in awe, making Greg grin.  "It's Diagon, our shopping mall in Britain.  This way."  He led the way to the agency first.  They usually had much better placements.

"Let's go to the shelter first," David offered, putting a hand on his arm.  "She'd like it more if you saved one instead of buying a new one.  Like a visit to the pound for that cat that's lurking around Cassandra's room."

"Point," he agreed, leading him that way.  Out through the Leaky and up the street, then into an older building.  They walked up to the front register, smiling slightly at her.  "I'm Greg Sanders.  This is David Hodges.  We're looking for a house elf for my wife."

"Sure.  We've got a few.  This time of year, lots of house elves find new homes."  She got up and led him back into the common area, finding a bunch of house elves doing knitting and things.  "We let them knit things for the premature babies at St.  Mungoes.  It makes them feel so much better about being freed," she told him with a small smile.  "What sort of elf did you need?"

"I'm a Potions Master and my wife's the assistant of Vegas's overlord.  I'm also part of the Las Vegas Crime Scene unit.  Needless to say, it's housework and the occasional babysitting for our three kids.  'San's about three, the twins are two."

"Excellent.  We have three very good choices. Did you want some with some personality?  Or one that's fairly blank and quiet?"

"Let's look them over and pick from what we see, like a job interview," David offered patiently.  She smiled at him and nodded, walking them over to a small group.  He looked at all the little creatures giving him pitiful looks. "This is worse than the dog pound," he whispered.

Greg gave him an understanding look and a nod.  "I know."  He smiled at the three house elves in front of them, all of them putting down their knitting to talk to him.  "Hi, I'm Greg, this is David.  He's gonna help me pick a new house elf."  They all beamed at him.  "I've got a wife, three kids, a fourteen bedroom house with a pool, and we're in America.  You'd be doing housework and some minor babysitting now and then."

One of them raised her hand.  "Not in Britain, Greg?"

"No, not in Britain.  I live in Las Vegas, near the West Coast of the US."  He pulled his wand and created a map of the world, pointing out where Vegas was.  "I live here.  We're here," he said, pointing at the approximate area of London.

"A little higher I think," David told him, pointing at it.  "There.  With the river."  He looked at them.  "His three kids are wonderful but they like to be read to.  They'll bug you for hours to read to them.  They're also horrible little beasts who keep trying to break into their father's lab."

They all flinched and shook their heads.  "Most house elves don't read," the keeper noted quietly.  "You can easily teach one but most haven't taken the time to."

"Then how do they do recipes?" Greg asked.

"Mostly they're taught that before they're released to find a family.  They're passed down through the family's memories."

"Oh.  I didn't know that."  He blinked a few times and looked around.  "Do you have any that might fit really well?"

"Two," she offered, moving them away, making one cry.  "I'll be right back."  That stopped the tears.  "She really does want to go to a family.  Her last one died and she's still very young."

"I noticed."  Greg looked at the two speaking Italian and French at each other.  "Wow.  The kids could be tri-lingual before they could read."  She laughed and nodded.  "Can they read?"

"A bit."  She coughed and the two elves stared at her, then bowed politely.  "This is Greg, he's looking for a good house elf to take care of his manor house and family.  He wanted someone who can entertain his children, who like stories."

"All children like stories," one older female elf called.  "Nippy has watched many children and all children like stories."

"Nippy's an experienced nanny elf," she told them with a smile.  "She's been here for over a year since no pureblood families have really had enough kids to need a new nanny for one."

"That's surprising, usually there's a baby boom after any war."

She winced.  "Yes, but a great many of the families were on the wrong side," she said gently.

Greg nodded.  "I understand that.  I was behind and off to the right of Alex Dumass and Ron Weasley."  She smiled at him.  "As was my wife."  David nodded at that.  He looked at the elves again.  "I'm a Potions Master.  My wife wants a house elf since she works with our overlord in Las Vegas."

Both of them cowered and shook their heads.  "No leave Britain ever again," one whispered. "Bad peoples hurt Para when leaves Britain."

"Sure," Greg agreed, walking over to Nippy.  "I've got three kids.  One's three, two're two.  I'm a Potions Master."  She smiled at him and nodded.  "Their mother isn't always home because she's working with our overlord."

"Where you live?"

"Las Vegas, in the United States."

She looked at him like he was insane.  "Nippy knows there's no Ministry there."

"True," he offered with a grin.  "That's why we've got an overlord.  Plus, Mexico's only a few hours away."

Nippy looked at him, then at David, then back at him.  "Nippy must deal with muggles?"

"I work with muggles but the ones who know what I am are nice."

Nippy looked at David again, then back at him.  "Nippy will babysit, but Nippy cannot cook or clean.  Nippy is getting aches in toes."

"Sure," he agreed with a grin.  "Know any good housekeeping elves?  We've got a fourteen bedroom house."

Nippy snorted.  "Nippy worked with Malfoys when Nippy was young, nursing Mr. Lucius.  That house is small."  She looked around and then spotted the elf, the one who had cried earlier.  "She cooks good.  Or him," she said, pointing at one elf in the corner.  "Him is Night, he is dark elf."

"He's a bit odd," the keeper offered.

"I work with muggles," Greg said with a small shrug.  "I'm also a Bane."  She blinked and pulled those two elves over, letting him look at them.  "Hello, Night, and...."

"Pretty."  She blinked at him.  "Greg needs three elves?"

"No, he only needed one but Nippy can't cook or clean so he'll let her raise his brilliant kids," David told her.  "So we still need someone to do the cooking and cleaning."

Night stared at him, then at Nippy, who nodded.  He moved closer, sniffing him then David, then Greg again.  He stared him in the eyes. "You remind me of an immortal wizard I know," Greg noted dryly.  "Doesn't he remind you of that guy we picked up, David?"

David nodded slowly.  "Kind of."  The door slammed in and Greg pulled his wand but Night threw a dagger at the person coming in.  "Wow," he said, looking impressed at the stabbed person.

"Night!" the keeper yelled.

He shrugged.  "Not good to interrupt wizards."  He looked at Greg again.  "Greg is the Wizard of Blood?"  Greg nodded.  He looked at the house elf beside him.  "He is alchemist."  She shivered and clutched the keeper's leg.  He looked at Greg again.  "Someone needs elf there?"

"I don't know."  Greg pulled out his phone and dialed home.  David looked at him like he was insane.  "I know, I'm roaming," he admitted.  He grinned at the voice on the other end.  "I was thinking you'd still be on stage."  He snickered at the complaints of the ceiling caving in.  "Did you need us back?  Oh, good.  At least Griss has a clue about how to clean that stuff up.  Know anyone who needs a house elf?  I'm at the shelter and there's a very young one here named Pretty.  No, her old owner died.  Sure."  He grinned and handed the phone to the keeper.  "One of the overlords."  He looked at Night.  "You'd protect my family and not attack my friends, even those who're muggle?"  He nodded silently.  "You'd be patient with the kids?"

"Night likes children.  Children should be protected.  Night also cooks good Italian and Chinese foods.  Night was hoping a curse breaker needed Night."

"Alex Dumass has too many at the moment," he admitted.  "Otherwise, he might know someone.  Let me talk to him."  He touched his tattoo, talking to him.  He got a nod and grinned at him.  "He said none of the ones he knows are home often enough to need one and his house has six so they can't really use any more right now.  But I'm still a Potions Master and my mate is a consort veela."  Night shivered and smiled, nodding happily.  "That's suitable for you?"

"Night would enjoy protecting Wizard of Blood's family."  He bowed to David.  "And his muggle friends."  He looked at Greg again.  "We go now?"

"We'll go in a few minutes.  Let her finish talking to Teller to see if we're taking Pretty to her new home too."  He squatted down to get on eye level with the smaller being.  "I notice you have clothes on.  Should we find clothes for you to borrow?"

Night sniffled and hugged him.  "Night likes Greg.  Greg is nice wizard.  Night is fine.  Pretty needs clothes."

"That's fine.  We'll make sure Pretty has an outfit too," Greg promised with a grin.  The keeper hung up and handed him back his phone.  "Is she coming?"

"She is.  We'll free them to come to your house and he'll pick up Pretty from there."  She waved a hand at the door.  "Shall we do the paperwork?"

"Sure."  He stood up and walked the house elves out, taking them out front.  Nippy had to get some more stuff she had done and hand it over, and Night had a few things that he needed to get too, including his knife back.  Then they portkeyed home, landing in the main entryway.  "'Mil?"  No answer.  "Kids?"  Still no answer.  "Cool.  Night, this way.  Pretty, go wait on the couch or go dig in Cassandra's closet to borrow something."  She went searching, coming down with a scarlet velvet dress with a gold bow.  He grinned.  "That'll be very pretty on you, Pretty.  As long as Emilia doesn't mind, you can have that."  She beamed and nodded, putting it down carefully and going to choose a backup dress in case the mistress didn't like her having that one.  He led Night into the kitchen, looking at the mess.  "I see the twins were in a hurry today."  He touched his tattoo, getting his wife, who was panting and running after their twins.  She gave him a grateful sigh and a blown kiss, gathering everyone to bring home.  "Night, this is the only kitchen.  You can explore the house.  Pick a room down here to sleep in."  The house elf nodded, rolling up his sleeves and getting to work on the dishes.  "Nippy?"  She came into the kitchen. "This is the only kitchen.  The twins were helping earlier.  Emilia's bringing them home soon."

Nippy smiled.  "Nippy likes it here, is good for aching toes."  She went to wait on the new kids she'd raise.

Greg grinned at David as he came in, then they both watched Night do dishes.  "They're very handy to have around."

"I can see that."  He shook his head.  "Is it legal for me to have one?"

"Probably not, but I might let you borrow Nippy now and then," he offered with a grin.  He pulled something out of the freezer and Night smacked his hand, putting it back and washing off his hands so he could start a proper meal.  "It's only a snack."

"Greg needs to eat more.  Is too skinny for wife."

David snickered.  "I think you'll be very happy together," he offered with a mean grin.

Greg beamed back.  "I think so too.  Come upstairs. See the lab, I changed stuff around."  He drug him up to show off his pride and joy, letting him see everything.  "And see, I've finally got both stones cleaned."

"I can see that.  You're one lucky man, Sanders."  He punched him on the arm.  "Very lucky."  He smiled when he heard the squealing starting.  "I think your brats are home."

"Yeah, me too."  He jogged down the stairs, bouncing over to hug his wife.  "Happy birthday!" he said happily, bouncing with her. "Pretty is going to Teller.  Night and Nippy are here to help you and me.  Nippy raised Lucius.  Night's in the kitchen fussing already.  He wouldn't let me pull out garlic bread."  He stole a kiss and grinned.  "Happy Birthday!"

"I love you!" she squealed, hugging him as hard as he could, then winked at David over his shoulder.  "Having fun?"

"Yeah, it's worse than the pound there."

Emilia laughed, letting her husband go with a wink for him.  "You'll be getting rewarded later.  Where did you go?"

"The shelter."

"Oooooh.  No wonder you needed David.  At least you only came home with two."  She peeked into the kitchen and squealed.  "You're so cute!  And you remind me so much of Jett!"

"He knifed someone while we were there," David said, sitting down next to the wiggling Pretty.  "That's Emilia.  You'll see her a lot since she works with Penn and Teller."  The house elf gave him a scared look.  "What?"

"Pretty not want to interrupt."

"Honey, Pretty's going to Teller or someone.  I told her to borrow from 'San's closet so she needs an opinion on what she can borrow," Greg noted.  Emilia came out and looked at the dresses, handing over the red velvet one. "I wasn't sure if that was this year's dress or not."

"Nope, the green one is," she offered happily.  Someone pounded on the door.  "Nippy, please take Run and Away there upstairs to the playroom with Cassandra?  They all need a nap.  They wore me out."

"Nippy take boys and girl child upstairs," she agreed, leading them up there to play with them.

"Nippy raised Lucius.  She said this house was tiny compared to the manor," he offered with a grin.  He walked over to get the door before someone pounded again, smirking at their overlord.  "You needed a house elf?"

"I did.  Marrisette is heading home, finally!" he said, looking up.  "Thank you!"  He grinned at him.  "So, where is she?"

"Borrowing clothes," David said with a nod.  "She's changing."

Pretty came out of the bathroom and let him tie the bow, then squeaked when she saw the new man standing there.  "Pretty is saying you is being very big," she said in awe.

Penn laughed, nodding.  "Sometimes.  So, you're Pretty?"  She beamed and bounced over, shaking his hand.  "Good girl.  We don't have any kids."

"Pretty not mind.  Pretty not understand babies yet.  Pretty not that old.  Pretty only had one owner before and she was very old.  Mistress let Pretty eat her dinner and everything."

Penn smiled. "That's fine. We'll figure out everything together, Pretty.  Thanks, Greg."

"Welcome, Penn.  Behave, Pretty."  She beamed and nodded, following her new Lord and Master out.  Greg shut the door, leaning on it with a grin for his buddy.  "See, days off are more fun than going back to redo your hard drive."

"Yes, it was, and very educational."  Night brought out a tray of food and put it on the table so he got up to snoop.  "Wow.  You cook a lot."

"Greg and Emilia are both too tiny to handle children," Night assured him.  "You too."  He poked him on the stomach. "You eat too.  Food!  Night is making dinner!"  He went back to his cleaning up.  He hated messy kitchens.  You couldn't find the good knives when the kitchen was a mess.  He came out and tugged on Greg's sleeve a few minutes later.  "Night needs to go grocery shopping and order better sushi knives."

"We don't do much sushi," Emilia offered as she came down with Nippy.  "I had to free her from the boys' clutches.  They decided she was a teddy bear."  She smiled at Night.  "That's very nice, Night.  Thank you."  She looked him over.  "Do you need a whet stone?"  He nodded, looking solemn.  "We can get you one of those and a few more daggers instead of sushi knives if you want."

"Night likes," he offered with a smirk of a grin.  "Night likes knives."

"I'll teach you how to handle the gun in the house later," Greg ordered.  Night nodded, heading back to the kitchen.  "Go look at the rest of the house too."

"Night will, let Night finish dishes."

"They're not too big on pronouns," David noted calmly.

"No, they're not, and names are very important to them, but they can be renamed," Greg told him.  "They've also got very strong magic."  Someone rang the bell so he got up to answer it, finding his boss and Detective Brass on the other side.  "Come on in," he offered, letting them inside.  "Come see Emilia's birthday presents."

Brass looked at the little creature beside her, then grimaced a bit.  "Well, it doesn't look like a kid.  One of your neighbors is a spy and thought you were selling funny looking kids."

"Nippy is no child," she assured him.  "Nippy and Night are house elves.  Pretty went with Mr.  Big Man."

"Penn," Emilia supplied with a small grin. "Nippy is a nanny and Night's the new housekeeper.  Night?"  He came out, looking at the two muggles, sniffing them.  "He really does remind me of Jett."

"He did a very impressive knife toss at the shelter," Greg told her.  "I said the same thing."  David nodded since his mouth was full.  "Where's Nick?"

"It's a treatment day.  He's not due back for another hour."  She smiled at Night, patting him on the head.  "I like you, Night.  These are two friends of the family.  Detective Brass is the shorter guy and the other is Gil Grissom, who's Greg's boss at work with the police."

Night bowed, cautiously not letting his eyes leave them.  "Night welcomes you."

"We do work night shift," Brass offered dryly, making David snicker.  "Is that his name?"  David nodded, smirking at him.

"They're not very big on pronouns," Grissom noted.

"No, not very," Greg agreed.  "David wanted to know if they were like Mistress Heather slaves," he told Emilia.

She snickered and swatted him on the arm.  "Only for those very kinky and wrong sorts, David."  He blushed a bit so she kissed him on the cheek.  "Be a good boy.  You try so hard sometimes, but now and then you're nearly as bad as Alex is.  He only sent a stripping house elf to Angel."  David choked at that so Night pounded him on the back.

"Thank you," he gasped.

"That was about Angel's reaction too," Greg noted dryly.  He smirked at his boss.  "Which neighbor?"  Grissom pointed to the left.  "Huh.  I didn't know we had a real neighbor over there."

"Now and then," Emilia told him.  "He's out of town a lot.  I personally think he's running some sort of drugs or something."  She looked at Night.  "Watch him for us.  If he comes over, just tie him up so we can talk to him."  Night nodded and went to get more plates.  Then he forced Grissom and Brass into seats and put food in front of them before stalking back into the kitchen.  "I've got to tell Jett we have the house elf version of him," she said with a grin.  "Isn't he so sweet!" she cooed, pinching Greg on the butt cheek.  "He got me just what I wanted and only brought home two."

"He did," Brass agreed, smirking a bit at Greg.  "Does this mean no more babysitting at the station?"

"Now and then I'd like to bring her in so she's used to modern lab equipment too," Greg offered.  "But Nippy and we should be able to handle it."  He noticed his daughter sneaking down the stairs and coughed.  "Certain people should presently be taking a nap."

"I'm a big girl, I don't nap!" she yelled before pouncing David.  "Gotcha!" she said with a happy girl grin. "Did you come to play with us?"

"It's my day off, but I could read to you," he offered, pulling her around to sit her in his lap.  "Were you a good girl?" he asked patiently.  "I only read to good kids."

Emilia snorted.  "Define good.  She got the boys playing tag all around the park then sat down to watch the clouds while I chased them.  Without telling me first."  Greg looked at his daughter, who only pouted.  "You know to stay right beside the mommy, Cassandra."

"Mommy was chasing bratty brothers," she defended.  "I not want worn out."

Nippy coughed.  "Nippy help with boy children."

"Michael and Patrick will appreciate that a lot," Emilia assured her.

"Hmm, Michael Alexander and Patrick Severus will definitely appreciate having someone new to chase around."  Nippy snorted and went to check on the boys.  "If they're up, bring them down.  They like these guys."

"Nippy says boys nap," she called back.  "Time for boys to nap.  Boys run later."

"I'm sure they will," Grissom agreed happily.  "So, what are they?"

"House elves," Greg told him.  "Like the ones at the school who brought us dinner?"

"Oh, them.  None of them spoke."

Greg smirked a bit. "They were probably scared of all the babies."  Night came out with a pie and put it in front of them then handed Greg the knife to cut it properly before heading back into the kitchen.  A few minutes later he went to prowl around the house.

"I take it we won't have to worry about anyone ever breaking in again?" Brass asked as he ate a bite of dinner.

"No, probably not," Emilia agreed happily.  "There'll be no more panicked calls about the house being ransacked, someone going missing, or anyone breaking into the lab either."  That got some smiles.  "Can we beat the next door neighbor?"

"No," Greg told her.  "I'd get in trouble for that, 'Mil."  Someone new pounded on the door and shouted 'Las Vegas Police'.  Greg groaned and got up, going to get his badge on the way there.  He opened it and held his up, getting a shocked person.  "Detective Brass and CSI Grissom are inside.  What's going on?"

"There was a report that this was a child farming operation."

"Well, we have three kids, but they don't even garden yet," Greg said dryly.  The cops looked unamused.  He walked over to his neighbor's house, kicking in the door and walking in there.  "Hola," he said dryly.  "I'm your neighbor, CSI Sanders."  He went pale.  "What is your damage?"  The man started to babble so he looked down.  "Not now, Night.  Let me.  I want to torture his ass.  Go help Emilia."  He shook his head so Greg glared.  "Now."

"Greg no have wand," he said quietly, handing it to him.  "Night needed to protect Greg."

"Night's needed more to protect the kids.  Emilia and I can protect ourselves.  So you protect her and the kids or the kids."  Night nodded, going back to do that, kicking one cop who was poking at Nippy's ears and walking over his back once he fell.  Greg looked at his accuser again.  "I'm doing what?" he demanded.

"That wasn't a child!"

"No shit!"  He pointed his wand at him.  "Obliviate."  The man went slack jawed and he walked out, slamming the door behind him.  He saw his neighbor on the other side, nodding politely at her.  "Someone didn't like that we got a midget nanny and housekeeper," he told her.

"I saw the one earlier, she was adorable in Cassandra's dress," the older woman said with a smile.

"They're all family," he said with a grin.  "The one in all black is Night, the female is Nippy and that one was Pretty."

"Their poor mother."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "Night knocked down one and walked over him."

"I told him to protect 'Mil and the kids."  He grinned and walked inside.  "I'll keep the kids out of your garden," he called before shutting the door.  He walked over the cop instead of on him like his elf had, going back to his lunch.  He looked at his wife.  "He's not going to be a problem anymore."

"Is he ...gone?"

"Obliviated," he mouthed. She nodded and Grissom coughed, looking over at him from the couch.  "Sorry, boss."

"Not a problem," Brass assured him, coming over to get his plate and take it back over there.  He had missed lunch.

"Maybe we should move further out into the desert," Emilia said dryly.

Greg gave her a dirty look.  "I don't want to move further out.  We live far enough out."

"We could have a bigger pool."

"Just because you want to own Lake Tahoe..."  She grinned at him.  "We can't expand a pool that way, Emilia."

"Yes we can.  With that tent spell."  She blew a kiss.  "Plus, no more nosy people."

"And I'd be too far out to respond in a timely fashion," he reminded her.  "I'm about on the boundaries now."

"He has been late on a few after-hours calls," Grissom noted as he came over.  "One of the guys is really impressed with Nippy.  Who's Lucius?"

"Draco's former father," Greg said dryly, staring him down.  "Blame her, not me, boss."

"Fine.  Emilia, if he's on call, he has to leave then, not be kissed for the next twenty minutes and then leave," he said patiently.  She frowned at him.  "Really."

"I don't like him going into the field.  It's dangerous!   I heard what Blair went through with Jim and Simon.  He was always in trouble.  Serial killers and sociopaths and stalkers.  I don't want that for my pookie."

"I don't blame you but he doesn't usually pull Sandburg's level of attraction either," David reminded her.  "Even when they were here, the guys ignored him to go for Sandburg."  She nodded, still looking unhappy.

"Emilia, I was feeling unloved in the lab," Greg said quietly.  "No one wanted to play with me and I was feeling like I wasn't contributing.  I am now."

She glared at him.  "You were doing a lot more than you know, Greg."

"Including getting blown up," he told her, staring back.  She glared at him and he raised an eyebrow.  "This is where I want to be, Emilia.  I want to be in the field."

"Where just anyone could *kill* you!" she said hotly.  "Then what'll I do! I'll go insane!"

"You won't," he said firmly.  "Because no one's going to shoot me."

"You got shot before!" she accused.

"I got grazed by a crazy person in the park.  I wasn't on a case."

"So!"

He sighed and sipped his water.  "Not now, Emilia.  We'll talk about it later, but I wasn't happy.  I was being stifled.  They wanted me to become a machine.  Which I can't be."

"But you'd be safer!"

"Someone can still come into the station," he reminded her.  "Those back exits aren't guarded and they're usually open.  Sometimes propped open for ventilation.  They could easily come in the morgue entrance and I'm just down the hall from there.  It's no safer being in the lab than it is in the street.  I'd rather make a difference and be helpful than be safe, bored, and under appreciated.  I hated it when I got forced back by Ecklie."

"But, Greg...."

He frowned.  "Later, Emilia."

"Fine."  She got up and went to check on the kids, knocking the guy hugging her daughter down.  "Do not touch my children that way!" she growled, glaring at him.  "No one touches my kids that way."

"She gave me the hug," he defended.

Nippy came over and removed the baby while Night came over to walk Emilia over to a couch and sit her down.  He stared at her for a moment then went to guard the children.

"Emilia, we try very hard to make him safe," Brass said quietly.

She glared at him.  "Then you're with him every moment of every scene?"  He shook his head.  "Are they protected?  Hasn't Greg had to go to scenes by himself, where the scene was a few days old and he went back to review and regroup?"  He nodded.  "Then isn't he in danger then?"

"No more so than he is on his commute in," he offered quietly.

She snorted.  "He doesn't have to commute either."

"He does sometimes if he doesn't know the house," he reminded her dryly.  She slumped some, shooting a glare at him.  "If he's happier, then we can't really stop him unless something happens to him.  If he were to get too hurt, we'd pull him immediately, but your husband was the one who came back while he still had burns from the lab explosion.  We wanted him to take a few more days off and he didn't.  Like Nick can't stand to sit around."

She glared again.  "That doesn't make me any happier."

"Fine," he said, knowing it was a futile argument.  He'd had this argument before his divorce and he'd helped others after they'd had it with their spouses.

She glanced at Greg, then back at her.  "He's not the same guy, Jim," she said quietly.  "He's not as happy, not as fun."

"That happened before he went into the field," he reminded her.  "That happened when he had to go back and fight."  She sighed and slumped down.  "You're right, he tried really hard, but there's still some government agents who want him.  One came up to him the other day."

"Excuse me?  Gregory?"  He looked at her.  "What agent, dear?"

He blanched.  "Oops, didn't I tell you I drove off another one?"  She shook her head, looking very grim.  "Sorry."  He winced at her glare.  "I drove him off!"

She glared harder.  "We'll be talking."

"Fine."  He looked at the cops, who were snickering.  "Stop it."  He gave them disgusted looks, then realized what his wife was seeing.  He looked at Grissom. "You know she's going to make me quit soon."

Grissom looked at him, then at Emilia.  Then back at his tech.  "She might," he agreed.  "We'd miss you, but if that'll make you happy...."

"No, it won't."

"Then don't let her," Grissom said simply.  All the married guys in the room rolled their eyes.  "What?"

"Gil, wives worry when their kids, er husbands, start to change personalities.  Think about the Greg in front of you and the Greg before the reunion.  There's a bit of a difference in there."

"Yeah, a battle," Greg said bitterly.

"Having to dress to deal with the public," Brass reminded him.  "You'd never wear so square a shirt in the lab."

Greg looked down then at his wife.  "Blame Warrick!  He's the one who got onto me about my clothes."

"Which were really horrible for dealing with the public, Greg," Grissom reminded him.  "They want us to be calm, cool, collected, and clean looking."

Greg glared at him and Grissom realized how much Greg had given up to get into the field.  Including the bigger paycheck.  Not that it mattered to him. "If you become world known in the field, you can dress however you want."

"Yeah, if that happens, I'm going to shoot you my own damn self," Emilia assured him.  She stared him down.  "I want *my* Greg back, Grissom, not CSI Sanders.  My Greg was nice and fun and safe. CSI Sanders is safe fun.  Bit of a difference there, you big, grumpy polar bear."

Grissom blushed.  "I'm sorry, Emilia.  We can't let him into the field wearing a Ramones t- shirt.  It looks wrong to the people we're helping."

"Greg, honey, go back to school, become an ME so you can wear whatever you want," she ordered.

"They don't get to either.  Besides, that's another two years in Britain at one of the colleges."  Brass raised an eyebrow.  "Or four here and then four torturous years of internship.  Over there, I've got more credentials."

"Why are you working here then?" one of the cops asked.

"Because over there, there were people hunting me for what I can do in the lab. They wanted me to work for them.  They found me just after I graduated school over there.  That's why I did college over here."  The cop looked confused.  "Trust me.  There were."

"But you get that over here now."

"Only because I stuck my head up.  If we moved, I could easily go back into hiding again."  The cop looked like he understood.  "After all, I've got an open invitation to join Chicago's PD and there's a school there I can temp in at all the time."

"The Canadian Ministry wanted you too," Emilia reminded him.

"True, they did.  A thought hit me earlier while we were traveling to pick up Night and Nippy.  Think what would have happened if Alex had gotten to raise Harry from the start."

"That would be one smug smartass," Brass noted dryly.  "From the start."

Greg grinned.  "He'd be very confident and very well versed in all the proper areas but the lab."

"He would be," Gil agreed, looking at Emilia.  "He demanded," he offered quietly.  "Greg was a lot of fun in the lab, always dancing around to his discman and always prompt, but that's what he wanted to do."

"Yes, but I still want my Greg back," she told him.

"Emilia, even if I was forced back to the lab, I wouldn't be the same guy."  Emilia looked at him.  "I wouldn't be.  I've grown up a bit since then.  I'm not the happy go lucky twenty- eight-year-old guy I used to be.  Now I've got kids and I'm older.  The same as you're not the badass you used to be, I'm not.  Now we find new ways of proving how bad we are."  He grinned at her.  "Okay?"

"Fine, but I still don't like it," she told him.  She looked over as the other cops left, then looked at Brass, giving a pointed glass at Night.  He shook his head.  "Good. Anything else?"

"Not really.  Can we stay for lunch?" Brass asked with a grin.

"Fine," she said, relaxing again.  She smiled at Gil.  "You can stay too."

"Thank you.  I'd like to talk to Night and Nippy if I may?  See what they're like."

"Sure, go ahead. Guys, feel free to talk to Gil.  He likes learning about things."  She got up and pulled Greg up, kissing him hard and fast.  "I'm still the baddest woman in the Banes."

He grinned.  "That's why I love you."  He stole a quick kiss.  "Feed me, Oh Great Badass One, so that I may give my humble worshiping another try later."

"You'd better."  She led him back to the table. "David, come eat."

"Coming.  I'm trying to get away from the octopus twins."

"Yeah, some day they'll date," Greg sighed when his buddy sat down.  Hodges gave him an odd look.  "Some day I'll be a grandfather.  A cool grandfather like mine, but still a grandfather."

David patted him on the back.  "It's okay, Greg.  It'll be decades in the future.  No kid of yours will be someone easy to date and love."

Emilia giggled.  "I'm sure it'll be easy enough if they've got their daddy's skills."  He blushed a bit at that.  "By then, there'll be at least a third generation of Banes," she said smugly.  "Our kids will be one and they'll have the fourth generation."

"And the world trembles," David finished. "Mostly in fear of the pranks."

Brass looked at him.  "They aren't *so* bad," he offered.  "Lindsey brought me singing chili the other day."  He dug in again, he was still hungry and the house elves cooked very well.

Moves.

Alex looked at the people around the house then groaned in complaint.  He got up to find his apprentices, finding them arguing in the Dark Arts library.  He walked in and shut the door, then glared at the person beside him.  "Shoo."  He opened the door and they left with a sly smile for them.  He shut and silenced the room, looking around again before looking at the boys.  "Okay, I'm bored so we're going to go over a few things that haven't been touched yet.  Things you've got to learn and some things I've got to get done.  Grab your jackets, we're heading to the ancestral home."

"This isn't?" Draco asked.

"Nope.  Sorry.  This is the modern home.  We're sneaking out in a half hour, once I've managed to find my cloak and a few things.  We're going to Diagon first and then we'll head back there.  Be sly, you don't want the aunts to see you."  They nodded and he unsealed the door, heading back toward his study.  His Aunt Nadia gave him a heated glare and he kissed her on the cheek.  "I need to get something for Harry," he whispered in hear ear. "His shoulder's still bothering him and we don't have any pain potions made according to Draco.  I'm slipping out to the apothecary."

She nodded.  "Hurry back, Alex."

He smiled and headed into his study, finding a few things he had imported from the vaults when the house had been set back up.  He found a special set of rings and another wand in his desk drawer.  This one was onyx, much like Dawn's obsidian wand, but not quite the same or for the same purpose.  Hers stored energy, his was for a special rite.  He pocketed them and a vault key, slipping out through that floo.  He came out in the Leaky and dusted off, nodding at the drowsing barkeeper.  There wasn't anyone in there, it was nearly ten at night.  "Going into Diagon.  Expect the apprentices if they're smart."  He headed out, pulling out his usual wand for the tapping on the bricks.  He walked through and sealed it on the other side, then prowled down to the bank.  This late at night, people usually only snuck down into Knockturn for the most evil of things.  Unless they were a curse breaker.  Then they headed to the special doorway under the stairs of the bank.  He tapped twice before walking in, nodding at the goblins sitting around the main meeting table.  "I just realized I haven't given Harry the special family lessons and the house is over crowded with holiday fellowship.  I'm going to puke if I had to stay.  I can get it myself."

"Which vault?"

Alex pulled out the key to look at it.  "Forty-nine."  He headed up to the carts, taking one down to the vaults.  He knew the inside of this bank like he knew the cracks on the soles of his feet - they changed every now and then but the main paths were the same.  He stopped the cart near his vault and took the lantern over to it, getting in there to scoop out some gold.  The rings fell out of his pocket so he put it back and then found the other thing he'd need on the shelf built into the wall.  He checked himself over before closing the vault door and heading back up there, going out the same door.  Once he was outside, he found the boys staring in the broom shop and grinned.  "Later, boys."  They jumped and spun to look at him, Harry's hand reaching for his wand before he could stop it.  "Good reflexes.  Now, let's visit Oliver so we can use his floo."  He nudged Draco and handed him the special rings.  "Hold those.  They fell out of my pocket."

"Sure."  He tucked them into his pants pocket and followed him.  "Where is the ancestral home?"

"Oh, up near the top of the land mass."  Ron knocked on the back door of the shop and Tipsy opened it so he grinned.  "We need the floo."

"It's really late.  What are you doing out here?"  She let them inside, looking at them.  "Just getting back?  No, you're too clean for that.  Heading off to an emergency?"

"Stupid holiday party at the house," Harry told her.  "The house was more full than it was over the summer holidays."  He watched as Alex whispered in each of their ears, taking his floo powder to send himself there.  He came out the other side right after Ron, nearly tripping over him.  Then he saw why.  Draco came out and hit his back so he moved them out of the way for Alex to come out.  He went back to staring at the ancient castle in front of them.  It wasn't as big as Hogwarts.  It wasn't as grand as some of the Monarchy's castles.  This one was ancient, you could feel the power of the land around them.  The castle almost throbbed to their sensing abilities. There was ivy along most of the outside.  He looked back at Alex.  "Is it hidden by illusion?"

"Why?  No one can get up here.  The valley's blocked off.  It's blocked from fly overs," he offered.  "This is my favorite house really.  Most of the saved stuff ended up here once I started the anti-theft spells on the former house that got destroyed by that very suspicious lightening storm after I was deaged."  He waved a hand.  "Let's go, it's home."  He put a hand on Harry's.  "Tomorrow you're going to get Sev. Just Sev.  Not the wife or anyone.  If she asks, tell her we're here, but nothing else.  She probably wouldn't want to come up now anyway."  He nodded, heading up at a job to catch up to Ron.  Alex relaxed and took a deep breath of the cold, crisp, clean air.  There was almost no pollution up here.  The magic was clear and natural up here and the lands were still pure.

He walked up to the front doors and tapped his wand once, releasing the wards.  The door swung open and he stepped inside behind the boys.  "There's cleaning spells but they might have failed a bit here and there," he warned.  He closed the door behind him and tapped his wand on it again.  It sealed and Harry gave him an odd look.  "It's got a reason, Harry."  He walked them back to his study here, starting the fire with his wand while Draco dusted the spots that had been missed, including the old couch.  He sat behind his desk, putting his feet up with a smile.  "This is my house, guys.  The ancestral home is the one I prefer.  When I have to clear my head or my senses, I come here.  This is where the seat of the family and the family's power is.  This is where the records of the family's deeds, children, and things are kept."

Ron looked around again, shaking his head.  "This is magnificent, Alex.  Is that oak on the paneling and the bookcases?"

"No, birch.  Really old birch that was stained."  He looked around.  There was only one portrait in here, one of second daughter born to the clan.  His desk was presently clean but for a single sheet of parchment.  He looked at it and snickered.  "The last time I was here I wrote myself notes and I'm about to enact most of it.  One's done."  He crossed that one with a muggle pen from his cloak pocket.  He considered another one then made a check beside it.  "Okay.  The bedrooms are on the third floor. This floor is mostly this study, a meeting room, the library, and the kitchens.  The library is magical, it is spelled to be really huge, and no, you can't live in there, Draco.  You may not fly in there, Harry.  Ron, yes, you have to read now and then."  They boys all snickered at that. "Come on, I'll show you through that area and then up to the bedrooms."  He walked them that way, showing them the kitchen and the food lift, then the meeting room since a back hallway led back to it.  They walked back up the hall and he noticed Draco was starting to look around in confusion. "Music?"

"Yes, harp music."

"It's one of the resident ghosts.  We've got four here.  One was my great-aunt, the first curse breaker.  One was Olivina, the family's first daughter and spoiled bitch of the universe.  One was my youngest brother, he died during a riding accident when he was six.  The other is Master Nierly.  He's the one playing the music.  He was the son of a siren and a bard.   He was an indebted servant to the house since he owed us a life debt for saving him from his father's family when he showed up with his old man.  He basically became the tutor of the family, especially in music.  The harp and piano are in the ballroom the next floor up."  He opened the door to the library and let the boys walk in before him.  He'd been here before.

Draco gaped and lit the torch beside them, which lit the rest.  "Bloody hell," he said in awe.  "It must be thirty stories!"

"The original one was only six but then the main house's library used to be ten plus two special collection rooms.  Plus I got some book happy moments before I was deaged since I've had every single book I've ever found copied and there's a copy in the original language and a translation into English."  He smiled.  "The card catalog is that wooden boxy thing.  You find the card you want, put it on the worn out velvet pad.  It flies down to the desk.   You put it on the cart and it reshelves itself once a day."  Draco gave him an amazed look.  "It's necessary.  We lost the library elf in the lightening storm but even she had to use it when I started bringing home books."  He let the boys wander while he led Draco to a locked glass cabinet, holding out a hand.  "Rings."  They were dug out and handed over.  "Thanks."  He searched and put one against the doors, letting Draco see it.

"The family crest. It opens most things but not all.  The others are for special collection rooms.  Speaking of, these are the books that list each thing and where to find anything on them."  He waved a hand at the fat volumes.  "Anything listed in red ink should be missing but I've gotten most of it except for the dark artifacts back."  Draco pulled out one marked 'Family Jewelry' and flipped through it, stopping at six pages of red.  He looked at him and showed him. "Those went to Russia with the daughter who married over there.  I'm guessing they got broken up and reformed.  That book will show red for that reason. Either that or Stalin got them during the Purge and he had them melted and confiscated the jewels for himself."  He stole a kiss.   "Technically, as my wife, it's your job to handle these things.  That's mostly what Aunt Nadia does these days."

"I'm still stuck on some of these pieces sitting around," Draco said, showing him one's drawing.  "I've never seen that."

Alex looked at the entry, pointing at a spot.  "It's in the hidden storage space she put up in Russia.  We're going to liberate it again in a few days."  Draco nodded and put the book back, letting him close the doors so he could look at the card catalog.  "It's by subject," he noted.

"Merlin," Ron said, looking at him.  "Alex, how?"

"My family is as old as the Weasley and Malfoy families, Ron. Even if most of us did die in a plague, we're still here."  He swallowed and closed the door, but Draco pulled it back out and looked over the cards, finding one and putting it on the velvet.  It floated down to the table with a soft 'fump' as it landed.  Draco left the card in the box for them and went to get it, taking it with him.  "Just remember to put it back on the cart," he said, noticing it was the history of the family.  He grinned and stole a kiss.  "It's interesting reading.  We had some bastards in the family during the Middle Ages and the Age of Quests."  He led them up the grand staircase, showing them to the second floor.  That was the ballroom, which took up three-quarters of the floor, and the formal dining room, plus a few drawing rooms that looked over the bay in the back.  "We had a few pirates in the family too," he said, grinning at the ancient ship rotting out there.  "We should go clean that out too.  I don't think I ever have, but it's too cold to practice underwater retrieval now."

He led them up to the next floor, showing them the hidden door.  There was no open door to the next floor.  No one but the family was allowed up there.  He led the boys to a suite of rooms, leaving them in there while he took Draco down to the master suite, which was a half-floor up.  It was in a tower and it had a beautiful view.  He pulled Draco closer, letting him rest against his chest as they both stared out at the water.  "See, there's the stables," he whispered, pointing at an area.  "They used to free roam around in the summers."  He pointed at a large, old tree.  "That's the best place in the world to hide and read.  The branches have an obfuscate spell on them.  I used to hide there for ages and read."  He kissed him on the temple and walked him over to another window, this one looked out at the sealed pass.  "Great-great grandfather sealed that pass and put on the anti-detection spells," he said quietly.  "He even planned for air assaults, figuring that mankind was too stubborn to not break that unnatural barrier too."  He pointed at something.  "That's the floo we came out of.  That is the only floo port in this valley.  There's a hidden one in the hills to the right but no one, and I do mean no one but me, knows it's there.  The family used to use it for rituals when we had Druid members."

"How big is this valley?" Draco asked, looking back at him.

"Nearly six miles in diameter.  We own the whole valley and part of the county around it.  Now and then I've let a family set up a farm further down but nothing too major.  There's a small village about ten miles down the path on the other side of the blockade.  We'll go up tomorrow onto the crenelation to look at the area.  The last time I was here was about six months ago and three of the farms were empty.  The land's really rocky and hard to farm."  He stole another kiss, walking Draco to the bedroom section, showing him the bed.  "That is the bed that I was conceived in and most of the other family was.  Some day, we'll have to let Harry use it to carry on the family name.  Or we'll have to carry on the family name with a surrogate in here.  It's been blessed with the centuries of love.  We never believed in marrying for power or skills, only for love and affections.  No matter who it was."  He grinned at him.  "There was a set of twins once that married each other.  They couldn't stand to be apart or to let another come between them.  Fortunately no kids."  Draco blushed a bit at that.  "We don't have to sleep here, Draco.  It won't bother me if you feel odd about it."

Draco put down the book and walked over there, sitting down on the soft, warm comforter.  He took off his jacket and put it onto the chair beside his side of the bed.  Then he unbuttoned his shirt.  "It should be blessed again, Alex."  His mate smiled and got undressed, coming over to help him.  The bed was big enough that they could each pick a direction and lay without touching but it was nice.  It was warm and soft to lie in.  He let his mate pounce him, gently of course.  "There's no fertility spells, right?" he teased.

"We've never needed it," he promised. He took another kiss and the world was right for him.  "I'd rather live here," he said as he stroked his mate.  "This house has always been my favorite. It needs life and love here to prosper."

"It also needs people to entertain now and then, otherwise that ballroom is going to waste."

"It mostly has for the last six centuries," he noted dryly.  "Now and then a family wedding is held there.  Harry's going to have his there.  Dawn may if she wants.  Sev should have.  All first heirs do."  He took another kiss and moved down to the pale neck.  "This house is more amazing than Hogwarts could ever be, Draco," he said quietly.  "It's more magical, built on more love and for the purer purposes.  This is my true home."

Draco pulled him up to look at him.  "If you wish to move here, I'm for it, but we're getting at least a house elf," he said seriously.  "I don't mind living so far from the world.  I can always floo or apparate."

"No apparation on the lawn," he offered with a shy grin.  "Portkeys are fine.  Those came later than the anti-disclosure spells."

"Anti-disclosure?"  Alex nodded.  "You're serious?"  He nodded again, grinning at him.  "So I can't write mum and tell her how amazing this is?"

"She'd forget after reading it."

"Oh."  He smiled suddenly.  "What if she visits?"

"We'd have to specifically invite her.  It's unplottable, unfindable by any means except invitation.  The wards and spells on it make the fidelus charm look like fairy lights."  Draco pulled his head down for another kiss.  "I've never brought anyone here," he said quietly.  "Not even Valera.  We were planning a trip up so I could plan to have the wedding here but she died first."  He stroked over Draco's cheek.  "You're not the first Malfoy to sleep in here either.  There's been three others, all female.  You're also not the first bloke in here.  There's been ten of those and their surrogates conceived in here.  Twelve surrogates over the decades and centuries.  One was a maid."  Draco smiled at that.  "If and when we have a child to carry on the line, it must be conceived here."

"Of course.  Otherwise it wouldn't be part of the family traditions."

"The last six went dark and evil, Draco.  It's important.  The last ones were Justinius and Mel."   He shivered at that.  "Before that, the four dark lords and demon consorts weren't conceived in here.  Even the grandkids should be conceived in here but I transferred some of the spells to Severus' room without telling him so he wouldn't have to face a kid darker than we've ever seen.  We'll change the sheets when Harry's ready to consummate his wedding night."  He stroked down the soft side.  "Do you mind horribly?"

"No.  Where would we sleep?"

"Probably in the Mistress' chamber," he teased with a grin.  "Back then wives were more accepting.  It kept their husbands from groping them when they were ill, pregnant, or having their monthlies."

"Wow.  Did she stay over all the time?"

"Usually she was considered a lady in waiting for the lady of the house.  The Heir's chamber has one too.  I think Ron's staying in there tonight.  That would have been the lady in waiting for the Heir's wife."  Draco snickered at that.  "I know.  We need to find Harry a girl."  He stole another kiss and got back to what he had been doing.  "You're mine, all mine, Draco. I vow it to you.  We are mated."

"We are mated," Draco agreed, letting his mate consummate the important things with him this time.  Next time he'd bend his mate over and make him howl in pleasure.  Alex grinned at him and got back to work.

***

Alex looked up as Harry and Severus walked in, grinning at him.  "Come on.  We're in the library since not even Ron wants to leave."

"What is this valley?" Severus asked as they walked.

"This is the ancestral home, Sev.  This is where the family started and where it'll stop some century far from now.  My great-great-grandfather did the non-disclosure, non-seeing, blockading, and other spells on it.  The spells holding the castle safe are so strong that not even the fidelus charm beats them.  You can only get here by special invitation of the Lord, me, or the Heir, Harry and You."  He opened the door to the library, smiling at the look of awe on his face.  "I think I've added more to this room than anyone else with all I've found.  Each book I found I've had copied and later translated and the translation bound as well."  Severus looked at him.  "I told you I liked finding old knowledge more than anything.  Ron."  Ron and Draco both put down their books and Ron nudged Harry, who put down the family history Draco had let him have when he had found the potions section.  "Thanks."  He looked at his son.  "I know you're on vacation but there's some things that must be done.  I have to name an heir.  I have to mark the heir.  I also have to tell you that I had some of the family's charms put on your bed because if the heir isn't conceived upstairs in the main bed, it'll go dark.  Fortunately I transferred some of the charms to your bed as we've done for ages past."

Severus looked at him.  "Thank you, I think.  What if I change beds?"

"It's linked into *you*, Sev.  As long as you know it's your bed, it's your bed and I'll make sure.  The same as I will in your room upstairs.  The same as I will be Harry's room upstairs."  He clapped his hands.  "For now, we need to sit tight in here or in my office while I get something from downstairs."

"Can we go?" Draco asked.

"It's my storehouse, Draco."

"So?"  Draco stood up, pushing his chair back in.  "I'd like to see it.  Even if it's just boxes."

"Fine."  He pulled out the silver thing he had gotten out of the vault.  "Come on.  Then we're going outside."  He led them to a hidden door in his study, smiling at Severus.  "We can come back later."

"Who was she?" Severus asked, pointing at the painting.

"The second daughter of the family line. The first one was a spoiled bitch but she was a great woman.  I've got her biography in the library in here."  He led them down the stairs, lighting the first torch, which lit the rest as they walked nearer to them.  At the bottom, the silver ring was laid against the block wall in various directions, and the block slid open.  He lit the nearest torch, watching as the oil line was lit between each torch in line.  He walked inside and toward the back.  "Stay on the stairs.  The floor here has traps.  It'll sink if you walk onto it, Ron."  Ron backed up a step, just in case, and sat down.  Alex walked back to a trunk in the back of the room, bowing to it and kneeling in front of it.  He pulled out the group of rings, pushing up a sapphire one.  He laid it in the lock and the top popped open.  He ran a hand over the velvet tray in there, then moved it out of the way.  Underneath were six silver handles.  He carefully drew one, thinking of his bond with his son.  That got laid on top of the velvet tray and the top was removed.  He pulled up a slim silver chain.  Then he looked back and took out another dagger, thinking of Harry.  Another chain was pulled up.  He closed the silver tray, leaving one set in each hand.  He closed the lid softly, bowing to it again.  He got up and walked back to the stairs.  "Okay, let's go."

"May I?" Draco asked.

Alex looked at him.  "Later, Draco.  Tomorrow."  He nodded, following him up.  Once the door was closed, the lights went out and the torches went out as they walked past them.  The study door was shut and locked and Alex sat behind his desk.  "Sev, last bookshelf on the right, behind the door.  Allisandra's autobiography."

He went to look for it and held it up.  "Thank you."

"Let's go outside.  The nearest door is through the library.  We're heading for the hills."  He stood up again, grinning at Severus.  "Head that way.  You can bring the book.  The ground's pretty smooth with how long we've been picking rocks."  He nodded, following Ron back to the library and out the door.  Alex took the things he had carried up out.  "To the second cave on the second level," he called after them.  "On the other end is a ramp or there's some shallow steps on this side."

Harry looked back at him, turning around to walk backwards.  "You need something to get there.  Horses?"

"We used to, Harry."

Draco looked at Harry.  "He wants to move back here.  Would you mind?"

Harry looked at him, then shook his head.  "No, he's happier here.  The other place is innocence and little kids and sunshine.  This place is power, control, knowledge.  It's making him smile and want to dance with you out here," he offered with a grin.

"Good. Then I'm moving back this weekend.  It's closer to the school but you can't get into the valley except for a very few ways. I'll tell you how and give you entry keys once we're up there."  He pointed at one area.  "Stairs."

Ron jogged ahead, starting up them.  "They're a bit shaky and there's loose stones," he called.  He walked up a few more and slipped.  "We need floating charms."  He came down again.  "Can we use magic?"

"We can," Alex agreed.  "Or I can do this."  He concentrated and a ramp of dirt formed in front of them.  "We can go up."  Ron nodded and walked up with Harry.  Draco gave him a look before walking up with Severus.  Then Alex walked up and banished the ramp once he was up, heading into the cave behind everyone.  There was a small altar set up along one side and he bowed at it, laying everything he carried out on it, including the Onyx wand he had been carrying in his pocket.  He took out the rings and laid his family crest ring in the proper spot, turning it.  He relaxed and smiled, then turned and used the Onyx wand to light the laid firepit.  "Gather around."  He turned back to the small open chamber, pulling out a small pot of very old oil.  It was charmed to always have enough for the heirs.  He carried it over, waving it over the fire to warm up.  "Severus Allejandro Snape, step forward."  He stepped forward and he dipped his pinkie finger of his right hand into the oil, using it on his throat.  "Are you or are you not an heir of the Clan Dumass and do you accept all that entails?"

"I do accept," he hissed.  He winced as the oil chilled.  "I am an heir of the Clan Dumass."

Alex nodded, looking at Harry.  "Harry James Potter, step forward."  He moved closer, going to his other side.  He redipped his finger and ran the oil over his throat.  "Are you or are you not an heir of the Clan Dumass and do you accept all that entails?"

"I am an heir, I am your grandson.  I am an heir of the Clan Dumass."

Alex backed away from the fire, bowing to it.  It slowly faded but stayed strong enough to warm the cool cavern.  He put the oil back and closed the drawer, then picked up the first necklace.  "Severus."  He walked over and he put the necklace around his neck.  He turned and picked up the dagger, handing it over hilt first.  "This marks you as an heir.  The necklace is shown to those of us who might doubt.  The dagger is to be carried *always*.  It is never to leave your side.  Upon your death, it will return to the family once you are laid to rest.  If someone should take it from you, it will return in three days.  Should you lose it, it will stick you when it returns to its holder.  It is your protection and your duty to carry it."

Severus nodded. "I understand.  It will be with me always.  Is there a sheathe proscribed?"

"No.  No sheathe is proscribed and no method of carrying it is unallowed.  However you feel best suits your needs at that time.  Do you have other questions about this part of your duties?"

"No."  He stepped back, sliding it into his pocket.

"Harry."  He moved forward.  "This marks you as an heir.  The necklace is shown to those of us who might doubt.  The dagger is to be carried *always*.  It is never to leave your side.  Upon your death, it will return to the family once you are laid to rest.  If someone should take it from you, it will return in three days.  Should you lose it, it will stick you when it returns to its holder.  It is your protection and your duty to carry it."  He put the necklace over his neck, then handed him the dagger properly.

"I understand, Alex."

"Good."  He turned back to the altar, taking something off the key of rings.  The family crest was taken off, as were two others.  He looked at the back wall, then laid the family crest against one of the five marks.  Two rings were put in two of the other spots.  The family crest was moved to the other two spots in the right order and the background opened.  He looked at the box, then up.  "He's still a boy," he whispered.  He took out the three boxes and laid them out.  His own dagger came off a hidden sheathe on his lower back.  The boxes were sliced open and exposed.  He smiled at the gems in there.  Then up again.  "He can't wear part of them without looking silly," he said a bit louder.  The box shimmered and the contents changed.  He smiled at them.  "Thank you, Allisandra."  He turned, pulling up the onyx wand, pointing it at Draco.  "To bond into the family is to give up your old life and to take on the name, the traits, and the will of the Clan.  Only those who desire it more than their love will be denied.  Do you love your mate enough to join into the family and are you willing to be a true member of the Clan as if you were born into it and as if you were born of my mother's loins?"

"I do love enough to join with the family," Draco said, moving closer.  He walked up so the wand was against his chest.  "I love enough to brave the wrath of the clan should I not appreciate and love enough.  I love enough to brave harm from rejection.  I love enough to even wear ugly jewelry for you."

Alex removed the wand and handed it to him.  "It is the mate's duty to guard the family.  The mate is the family's guardian and the consort is especially the one who trains and holds the family together.  Do not doubt your place and do not doubt your importance, but it is important that you understand your place and your duties."

"I understand my duties and I'm sure my mate can help and if not, then there are many maiden aunts with not enough to do who would be more than willing to nag me."

"But you will protect the family?"

"With my last dying breath.  Even from those inside it."

Alex nodded and took the wand back, laying it on the altar.  He picked up the first velvet case and showed it to him.  "These are pieces that the lead consort, the Lord's spouse, wears.  Most of them wear at least one each day, though they are very fancy and not very suited to digs."

"There's ways around that."

"Good."  He laid on each piece.  The bracelet.  The first necklace.  The ear cuff.  The empty box was put down and the cover replaced, and it resealed itself.  He picked up the second one.  The heavier, more fancy necklace, was put on Draco's neck.  That case was put down.  The third was a more whimsical choice and it came from later down the line.  He picked up the small tiara and put it in the silvery blond locks, noticing the silver complimented and shined in them.  The last case was put down and sealed, then they were put back.  He resealed the wall case and pulled up one last box, one that he had put here many years ago.  He smiled as he turned and moved forward, pulling out the ring and putting it on the correct finger.  "My mate."

"Your mate," he agreed, staring into his eyes.  He smiled a bit and Alex leaned forward, giving him a chaste kiss.  Draco winced, grabbing his forehead.  It faded and he got another kiss. "Still your mate, even though you're not getting sex tonight," he noted.

Alex grinned at him.  "It must be consummated.  I'll let you have a headache potion though."  He stole a third kiss, then picked up the onyx wand, handing it back to Draco.  "It is the consort and spouse's job to lead all rituals not related to the heirs," he said quietly.  "It is your job to hold this wand.  Not on you as if its a dagger, but it is your job to hold and make sure it's never broken.  This is Allisandra's wand.  It is priceless and special.  It is never to be lost, broken, chipped, bumped, or anything harmful coming near it."

"Of course."  He put it in his pocket, then carefully backed up a step so the tiara didn't fall. "The family's causes and treasures are mine."

Alex swallowed and nodded, turning back to the altar.  He bowed and stroked over it.  The fire went out and he took the rings, putting them back onto the ring.  He took another step back then looked at his mate.  "Let's go down the original ramp.  It's closer to the kitchens."

"We didn't find any food at breakfast," Ron said.  "We only found some really *old* tea leaves."

"I can send Harry out for some."

Severus looked at him.  "How would he get back?"

Alex grinned.  "The necklace has the entry key.  You may portkey in to the area in front of the caves.  That's what that darkened patch of ground is.  Any portkey set to the castle will only land there.  The floo can be gotten through as well.  Now that you know of this valley, you are welcome here until you are kicked out of the family.  The necklace lets the protections on the floo know you.  No apparation, unless done in an emergency. If the wards feel you in mortal peril, it may let you apparate in.  It has me in the past.  They found me here after that curse hit."  Snape nodded at that.  "The only other way in is by ship and you must land in the cove beside the ship.  Anything other than that and you will be fried.  If you *really* want, you can always hike over the barrier but you can't use magic in or around it.  The other side is null magic and the barrier itself makes you feel really sick while you're walking over it from the magic sucking.  Come on, to the left.  Harry, do you have any gold or should I summon the bag?  If you head home you're going to get screamed at."

"Can we go to the muggle village?" Harry offered.

"No.  It's ten miles away and I haven't scoped the area by broom yet."

"Fine.  Diagon?"

"Aunts, Harry.  Aunts.  Hogsmeade is closer."

"Sure."  They walked down the ramp and Harry walked over to the darkened area, creating a portkey.  "Cute jewelry, Draco."  He disappeared with a pop once his portkey activated.

Alex grinned at them.  "If I move back, do you want horses, Draco?"

"I wouldn't mind one," he offered.  He took off the tiara to look at, then at his mate.  "Do I have to wear them all inside?"

"There's a very pretty Japanese wood box inside for you to keep that and the other stuff in," he promised, stealing a kiss.  "Though it does look good in your hair.  It shines and picks up the color of the silver strands and makes each other glitter and twinkle."  He stole another kiss and grinned.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  Though you're probably never going to get me into the tiara or this really girlish necklace ever again."

"Yes, dear."  He took his hand to hold.  "Please don't even knock the wand into anything."

"I'll put it in the box too," he promised.  "My mother's family had something like that."  He gave the hand in his a squeeze.  "How would we get a horse up here?"

"Portkey."  He grinned at him.  "It's good grazing during the summers."

"Are we going back to Malgadesh after the holidays, Alex?" Ron asked. "Not to break up the mushy stuff," he offered when Draco shot a glare at him.

"Yes, but the goblins wanted us to take some extra time.  They're not sure it's safe yet.  They want us to wait until spring.  I said February.  You guys need some special lessons and it's got to come from me or Bill.  Bill's the only one I've ever taught it to," he offered quietly, grinning at him.  "It's what keeps Bill safe."  He looked at Severus.  "You need these lessons too.  It's part of the birthright, son."

Severus looked at him.  "Dumbledore won't be pleased."

"Ask me if I give a damn," he noted dryly.  "I'll call him.  It'll start to drive you insane the next time we have a 'quake now that it's awakened."

"Fine.  If you can get it cleared.  Can Holly show up?"

"If she wants.  Next week sometime."  He grinned at Draco.  "You're going to learn too.  It's not hard, but it's not something that you usually think about."

"I'm always happy to learn," he offered.  "As long as it won't mess up my hair."

"No, it won't mess up your hair," he promised.  "Though you might sweat at first."  He led the way through the back door and into the kitchen, looking around.  "Ron, think you can sneak back to the house?"

"Maybe.  Why?"

"We need a house elf.  I'm a crap cook."  He looked at him.  "Get Me or Silt."

"Me is involved in that project for Nadia taking down book names.  Silt is barely moving after that unicorn kicked her," Ron reminded him.

"Okay, then take Sev and go to the house elf shelter."

"Must I?" Snape asked.

"Someone's got to.  Do we want me to go?"

"You can go," Ron offered with a grin.  "I'll crack at the pitifulness."

"Fine."  Alex went to the fireplace in the kitchen, tossing in some communication floo powder.  "Aunt Cordy."  Her head spun up and a hand came up to hold her forehead.  "Sorry, I know you hate it when I do that.  I'm moving back to the ancestral home.  I can't stand all the innocence and light and sweetness back there."  She raised an eyebrow.  "Draco agrees."  He moved so she could see what he was wearing.  "The tiara looks good in his hair, auntie.  It sparkles and makes his hair shine."

"Why do you do this to me now?"

"Because Holly is pregnant," he told her.  She smiled at Severus and he nodded once.  "Harry's getting us food.  I've got to teach them earth sensing.  It's better for me here, Auntie.  This is *my* home.  That house is dad's and mom's and yours."

"Fine.  What do you need?"

"A house elf, the stuff, and no whining and bitching when I come back for the swamp, my study, and all that stuff."

"I can have it packed.  Are you coming back for the holiday meal?"

"Of course."  He grinned at her.  "Then again, you won't have a house full of Banes."

"Point.  Fine.  How many house elves?  We used to keep at least four up there."

"It'll just be us here.  I was hoping one or two."

"Fat chance," she snorted.  "Fine.  Do you want the dark arts collection?"

"Um, probably," he admitted dryly.  "That way it won't hurt the unicorns or the holy water well."

"Holy water?" Severus asked.

"Yeah, the unicorns have blessed it each year," Ron told him.  "I accidentally put my foot in it and it burned."

"I'll have to gather some later.  So will Philip," Severus noted.  "I also need to tell Dumbledore I have family business to complete here."

"Fine.  Anything else?" she asked, looking at him.

"I'll be the one to invite the Banes."

"Where's Harry?"

"Food.  Hogsmeade."

She rolled her eyes.  "Anything else?"

"No, just that.  I'll even come pack."

"Alex, we love you, but you're fussy, rude, loud, messy, and a pain in the ass with the unicorns here.  Stay there.  I'll pack and send all the presents and everything.  Any particular house elves that you want?"

"I like Me."

"I like Me," she agreed.  "Fine.  She'll be your lead house elf. What about beasts of burden?"

"No, you can have the cows.  I'll buy milk and cheese," he assured her with a small grin.

"We'll send you the extra we pull up," she promised, rolling her eyes again.  Harry staggered in with bags.  "Harry, dear, is everything in your room?"

"But my pack and the camp stuff," he offered. He handed Ron the bags, then slumped down against the table.  "Thanks, Ron."

Ron got to work putting stuff up.  "Should I put on water to boil, Alex?"

Aunt Cordy snickered.  "Ron, honey, I tasted your stew.  It was all salt and carrots."  He shrugged, grinning at her.  "House elf shelter?"

"It's kinder," Alex agreed. "You know what I need and want?"  She gave him a steady look and nodded.  "Cool."  He grinned at her.  "Okay, the Banes were coming over for lunch the day after Christmas.  We'll be here until February.  We love you."

"I love you too, Alex."  She disappeared.  She looked at the other aunts, who all looked worried.  "Alex is moving back to the family home!" she announced.  The aunts shrieked and hugged each other, dancing around.  He really did get in their way and brought danger with him.  He'd be much happier there and they'd love him even more for it.  Besides, it gave them another reason to fuss and make treats.

Alex looked at Sev, going over to help Ron with the food.  "You're really lucky you're already married.  Otherwise you'd end up having it upstairs in the ballroom," he told him.  "Harry, plan on that."

"Fine.  Can I invite Oliver and Bear up too?"

"We'll see.  You could actually take your own house down the valley," he offered dryly.  Harry's face lit up.  "Go for it."  Harry hugged him and hauled Ron off so they could get their brooms and fly up to look around the outer edges of the hills and see if they could see the town.  They came back in babbling about what they had seen.  Alex held up a hand.  "How far up did you go?"

"Over the barrier.  The town's really small," Harry told him.  "There's like seven buildings together and they looked like houses."

"The village is on the other side of there," Alex told him.  "Toward the coast."

Ron smiled.  "There's maybe six buildings there too.  We thought it was another village."  Alex shook his head.  "Was that the emergency floo?"  He nodded.  "Cool."  He looked at Harry.  Then back at Alex.  "There's a house just on the other side of the barrier."

"I know, they died of the magic-sucking making their kids sick.  Did you look behind us?"  Harry shook his head.  "You should.  There's a few houses that way too, and another tiny almost-village there.  There used to a good few wizards there."  The boys grinned at each other.  "We'll look, boys."  They nodded.  "Go into the library and start writing out invitations, Harry."  He ran off.  "Ron, put on water.  Sev, you handle the cooking.  Unless we want me to?"

"I'd rather not die of food poisoning," Draco said with a pat. "Show me this box?"  He nodded, leading him off.

Severus looked at Ron.  "He can't cook?"

"He made chicken soup that ended up tasting like our soap.  He's a worse cook than I am.  Ooh, Dawn.  She's gonna scream."

"The aunts probably have her well in hand.  As well as Holly."  He got to work chopping some of the meat Harry had bought, putting it into the pot Ron had just cleaned.  "At least you learned something in Potions."

"Yeah, but I already knew how to clean, Professor," he teased with a grin.  "If you had taught me practical stuff, like headache potions and contraceptives, I'd have aced those."

"Your finance said much the same thing.  I did teach her contraceptives personally and privately.  Just to make sure she never messed it up again."

"Thank you, Merlin," Ron said, giving him a hug.  He went back to what he had been fussing with, making some dough.  "Do we need biscuits or a crust?"

"Biscuits."

"Cool.  Harry forgot tea."  He shrugged and got back to work.

***

Tipsy and the twins came out of the floo with the kids clinging to them, looking around at the castle.  "Wow," she said, blinking hard.  "I heard rumors that there was a hidden castle up here."  She walked off with the kids running in front of them. "Head for the fairytale place," she called.  They squealed and raced for the door.  "I'm so glad they're walking."

"Us too," the twins assured her with a grin.  They heard the floo go off and turned to find Emilia and Greg, waving them on.  Lindsey came out with them.  Dawn, Luna, and Ginny soon followed and the four girls got together to chat while Greg let down the kids to chase after the two sets of twins in front of them.

Emilia jogged to catch up.  "We found a house elf just like Jett," she told Tipsy, who cackled and hugged her.  "Seriously!  His name is Night and Greg found him at the shelter.  He threw a knife at someone coming in being noisy," she shared, making her friend hug her and cackle against her shoulder.  "I have two house elves, one's a nanny!" she said happily.

"Who's Jett?" one of the twins asked.

"Oh, an old friend," Tipsy told them.  "A very old friend.  An assassin who used to try to win my hand."  She shook her head, grinning at Emilia.  "She drove him insane and away. He respects Emilia very much."

"Thank you," the other twin said, kissing her on the cheek.  "What is this place?"

Ron came out at the pounding on the door by little fists.  "Go inside, up the stairs *carefully*, and into the big room that's got the open doors."  They ran past him and most of them went up the stairs.  Harry caught the other one and sent Joxer up there too with a gentle swat on her backside and a smile.  Ron looked at the adults.  "I thought there'd be more of us."

"There are.  They're running behind," Tipsy told him.

"What is this place?" Greg demanded.

"The Clan's ancestral home.  Alex is moving back here full time."  He grinned at them.  "Harry's taking a small house just outside the valley.  Up the stairs and into the ballroom."  He looked at his lady, his sister, and their friends.  Ginny was wearing real clothes.  "No leather?" he asked sarcastically, leaning in their way.

Dawn smirked at him. "Only if you've been a naughty boy."

"I try so very hard," he teased back.  He got a kiss and he stroked her back.  "Upstairs to the ballroom, ladies.  Luna, Ethan and Wes won't ever know this is here.  There's an anti- disclosure charm on the whole valley.  It's stronger than any Fidelus charm ever cast according to Alex."

"Sure," she agreed, heading past him and up the stairs.  She caught the baby trying to come down and carried him up, handing him to his mother, who was staring at the walls.  "This is nice."

"It's very nice," Tipsy said in awe, taking her son.  "Man, they must have held some massive balls in here."

Alex walked out of the dining room.  "We did.  Weddings too.  Dawn, this is where you're holding your wedding.  Tough shit, get over it.  Buffy will forget all about the house but remember the event she attended."  He looked at Ron, who looked amused. "You'll have to make the same consort's vows, Ron."

"Not like mum would mind losing a son," he offered with a shrug.  "She'll be able to make a wonderful entrance too.  It'll be good."  Drawn gave him a long stare.  "Tough."

"Fine.  If I must," she sighed.

"You must," Alex agreed with a grin.  "You're family, it's mandatory."

"What about yours with Draco?" she asked archly.

"We've already done the vows.  They were witnessed by Severus, Harry, and Ron."  He looked at the others.  "Where is everyone else?"

"Late, as usual," Luna assured him. More people came in and she waved.  "See?"  She headed for the room Alex had come out of, smiling at the nice, long table.  "It'll actually fit all of us, the entire group and kids, spouses, and lovers."

"That's the idea," Alex called. "You may not call yours!"

"I know."  She came back out.  "It's amazing.  No tree?"

"In the library.  We'll get there last so we can lose Greg in there with Sev, Draco, and a few others."  He smiled as Draco came in wearing the more simple chain.  "Your mother?"

"I flooed, she's coming.  She's just having hair problems."  He looked at the children, then at Severus.  "Soon you'll have one of those."

"No, mine will behave," he noted dryly.  Tipsy cackled.  "No child of mine shall end up being a heathen brat."  He smiled as his wife came in with Philip, pulling her closer for a chaste kiss.  "Welcome."

"This is the ancestral home.  Dad said he was banned from here."

Alex nodded.  "Yup, and staying banned."

She shrugged.  "Nothing in that statement or sentiment bothers me."

"Good."  He grinned as the rest of their guests showed up.  "The dining room is behind me.  Greg, you can get lost once we've done presents.  Food."  He got out of the way, taking Draco's hand to kiss the back of it as he followed his guests in.   Once everyone had found a seat and parked it, he smiled at them.  "I have some news to announce.  For those of you who don't know, Severus is my son.  I did the heir's ceremony for him and Harry the other day and Draco and I said our formal clan vows."  That got some claps and hooting.  "Thank you," he offered with a grin.  "Those of you here are here because you may need to get here, either for safety," he said, nodding at Greg, "or for something happening and I can't be gotten another way," he said, nodding at the twins. "Anyone else coming, like Narcissa, who's really late due to her hair, will forget the location and how to get here, but not the event they attended. Greg, Tipsy, boys, Emilia, Dawn, Ginny, Luna, Philip, Nick, Methos, you are all now keyed into the floo.  The rest of you won't be refused entry but the wards will be very cautious."

"In other words, floo or call over the markings first," Draco noted.  "After all, we could be busy."

That got some laughs and they dug into the ham and other stuff.  When everyone was done, they headed down to the library. Greg looked around, his face looked like a kid getting every Christmas and birthday present in their life at once.  Alex patted him on the back, pointing at the card catalog.  "By subject.  The card goes on the velvet pad.  The books don't leave the valley without me having to unspell them," he said quietly.

Greg hugged you.  "I love you, man. You're my favorite problem and attention getter."  His phone rang and he looked at it, then grimaced and answered it.  "Grissom, I'm in Scotland and it's my day off," he noted first.  "It had better be *damn* good.  I just found a thirty million book library.  No, Alex's.  He's moved back to the ancestral home and it's a *huge* library.  Like thirty stories *huge*."  He grinned.  "I love you too but I'm not on call and you *promised* me that I would not be working on Christmas, Grissom.  What old friend.  Put him on.  Jett?"  He raised an eyebrow.  "Jace.  He's in Chicago the last I knew.  We just ran into him.  Yeah, Grissom knows.   He and Methos have had a lot of long talks.  Cool.  Yuppers.  Nope, Alex Dumass."  He cackled.  "Thirty story library.  Love you too, man.  Emilia said hi."  He hung up.  "Jace is in town looking for his brother."

"They're real!" Tipsy demanded.  "I know Jett is, but I thought it was a coincidence!"

"We woke up Strife by accident," Ron offered, raising a hand slightly.  "It's Alex's fault," he said when everyone stared at him.  "He's back asleep.  We made sure of it, and we're going back in February."

Greg looked at his wife.  "If our kids turn out like Alex, I'm going to blame Jett."

She kissed him and patted him on the cheek.  "Our kids won't be curse breakers.  If they want to go that way, they'll work in the labs."  She gave him a gentle shove toward the card catalog and he squealed, heading over to it.  Methos, Severus, and Dawn met him there.

Methos looked over, holding up a book.  "In Hindi?"

"And a translation," Alex said happily.  "I have ever book and scroll I find copied and then translated and bound too."

Methos walked over and hugged him.  "I love you, Alex."  He went back to catalog, going to find something he wanted to read.

Draco and Alex sat down to hand out presents, piling the ones for those guys beside them.  There was no pulling the book nerds from the books until they begged to take half the library home.

***

Greg danced back into the unit, hugging Grissom.  "I've got my next Mastery paper already started," he said happily.  "Alex's library is *massive* and it had some theoretical works that gave me a *great* idea!"  He grinned at him and handed him a newly copied version.  "About how cockroaches got started," he said happily.  "It was his present to you."  He bounced a bit.  "Please tell me I'm in the field."

"I should punish you for what you said on the phone."

Greg kissed him on the cheek and patted him on the back.  "Try, Grissom.  What'm I gonna do with three days off?  Sleep?"  Grissom handed him a sheet.  "Thanks, man."  He headed to get his kit and everything from his locker, then headed out.

Grissom went to the lab, going to sit down and read this new book.  It was an interesting look.  Greg came back a while later and drew him from it so he looked out at him walking up the halls.  "They *created* them!" he yelled. Greg grinned and nodded.  "I don't believe that!"

"Read further, it's a history lesson and spread pattern."  He walked into the labs, dropping a large paper bag off with David.  "I had the *best* time, David.  Alex has a thirty story library. *Every* book he's ever found he's had copied and translated separately."

David smirked.  "So you spent the three days you had off reading?"

"Oh, you bet.  I got my next Mastery paper started.  There was some theoretical works there that just blew my mind and made me think odd thoughts.  I've got so much stuff started on paper."

"Good.  Will you have time for special projects?"

"Yeah, of course."  Greg grinned at him.  "The usual thing, someone held up a convenience store.  Minor wound on the clerk, arm shot."

"I'll see what I can find."  He glanced outside his glass cage then at Greg.  "Can I ask for some of that special project time?"

"Sure.  What's up?  Need something for your shoulder again?  Headaches?"

"I want to learn potions.  There's got to be a link between potions and science."

Greg just blinked.

Lessons

"I want to learn potions.  There's got to be a link between potions and science."

Greg just blinked.  "David, that's not a single day request.  We take it mandatory for five years and then more if we're dedicated and good at it."

"I know.  It's not like you're leaving next week."

"Point," he admitted, considering it.  "I can tell you that there is a link but part of it is other stuff."  He glanced around, then looked at him again.  "I've got to ask Sev.  Can you wait until tonight for an answer?"

"Sure.  I figured you'd need to do something like that."  He grinned at him and opened the bag.  "Besides, you've got to teach the kids."

"True," he agreed.  "Let me ask."  He walked out, going to the break area to get comfortable and talk to his teacher.  Severus sent back a cackle, apparently he remembered David.  He pointed out David was a lot like him and that got another cackle, but Severus said that he already knew about magic, had been changed by magic, and that was an interesting field of study among the muggle borns.  He sent his well wishes and leaned back, considering his options.  He could teach, he was good at it.  He wasn't sure David was serious about learning though.  He called his wife on the cellphone, getting Nippy.  "Get into the library and find my old Potions textbook for me please.  I need my first year book here.  I'll pop around and pick it up when...."  It appeared next to him and Night disappeared again.  "Thanks, guys."  He hung up and looked through it.  Nothing in there really *needed* magic.  Potions often weren't effective if you didn't have any but David could still change.  He had a magical nature and magical creatures could make potions if they had the mental and physical capability.  He got up and walked it back to David's lab, taking his report.  "Thanks.  Here."  He handed over the book.  "I will but you've got to be serious about this.  This isn't a weekend's study.  Just the first one alone can take days to get right.  You're going to keep going over it until you get it right."

"Fine," he agreed.  "I expected that.  Can you show me where I need to pick up stuff?"

"Sure.  I've got to hit there myself.  There's not that much stuff standard.  A wooden spoon, a cauldron.  You've seen the basic setup."  David nodded. "We'll go after work tonight.  Study the first one.  We'll work on it when we get home."  He left, going to look at the report and make a decision about this case.  He thought that the clerk had his buddy rob him.  He sat down to search for a connection between the two.  There was something wrong about that robbery.

***

David looked around the potions supply store, then back at his friend.  "You really use all this?"  Greg nodded.  "This is a really expensive job."

"Yeah, but you sell them for a bit more than you took making them.  Supply and demand, Dave."  He shrugged and looked at the sales clerk, who was grinning.  "I'm tutoring him in remedial potions."

"Just the starter set?  We've got a box set for the students," she offered, leading them over to it.

Greg looked at it, then grimaced.  "They let them use stainless steel cauldrons at Andromeda?  Man, at Hogwarts we used pewter."  She gave him an amused look.  "Chemical reactions and I'm teaching him from those books."

"We can substitute a pewter one but it'll cost a few bucks more.  What about the ingredients?"

David looked, then blinked at the tag.  He went to look at the various parts.  Greg took the cauldron and put it back, handing him a smaller one.  "I don't need a bigger one?"

"When you first start, you start small.  You don't need to make big batches, just enough to test."  He checked the cauldron again then handed him a better one.  "That one's more even."

"That's important?"

"Potions is like cooking, David.  Good pots heat evenly and don't have thin spots."

"Oh.  Okay.  Is this good?"

"That's good.  Normal wooden spoons would work.  That's what I use," he offered. He looked at her.  "He'll need the small box, marked and filled."  He pointed at one.  "That's a good one.  We're doing anti-boil, anti-nausea, and anti-sleep, plus pepper up and the mild, safe pain potion."  He handed over the list he had drawn up of what they'd need.  "And I'll need what's on the back.  Separately."

"Sure."  She looked at him. "Do I know you?"

Greg shrugged. "Possibly."  He watched as she walked off.  "That'll be fairly cheap and helpful stuff first.  That way if you don't have a feel for it, you haven't spent *tons* on it and if you have, you can build from them."

"Okay."  He looked around, then back at him.  "Will I need special ventilation?"

"No.  I used to brew on top of a gas stove in my old place. There's not much at the beginner levels that stinks too much."  The woman came back and he checked everything, handing her one of the drawers.  "That's bear testicles, not deer."  She looked stunned and he looked at her.  "I am a Master.  I'm Snape's former apprentice."  She went to correct that, coming back with the container.  He nodded and she refilled that drawer after cleaning it.  His things were gathered and put into bags.  He paid for his, David got his, and they headed back to Greg's house.  "Night, get us some iced tea," he called as he walked in.  "We're going to work on the back porch."  He walked David out there, going to help him.  "Bring a good knife too."  Night brought out a tray with a pitcher, a clean wooden spoon, two knives, and two glasses.  Then he disappeared again.  Greg sat everything up on the stone picnic table, looking at David.  "Got the book?"  He pulled it out of his backpack.  "Good.  Turn to page 3.  That should be the anti-boil potion. You'll want to chop on the tray."

David settled things out and slowly got to work.  "What's the difference between chop and mince?"

"The same as it is in cooking.  Mince means a really fine chop.  Chop just means cut up.  This stuff'll soften so you don't have to be quite as fine.  When it's done you strain out the big pieces.  I usually use a stick blender after that, just in case something chunky got in there."  David nodded, going back to it.  "Do you cook?"

"I can cook.  I don't cook a lot.  It's a pain in the ass to cook for just myself."

"It is," Greg agreed.  "I lived on fast food for the most part."

"I noticed.  Some days you used to come in smelling like old grease."  Emilia came out, giving them an odd look.  "I asked him to teach me," he offered.

"And we think this is a good idea?"

"Sev said it was fine," Greg assured her, working on something of his own. "I wasn't sure so I asked him.  We're doing anti-boil right now.  You can sit and help."

She kissed him and hugged David.  "He's a mean teacher, David, but don't lose hope.  He used to ride me all the time when he was tutoring me.  Blair was nearly as bad."  She sat next to her mate, watching him prepare the stuff he was doing.  "We're out of gold?"

"No, but I was going to try the newest stone tonight."

"Cool.  I'm looking forward to the happy sex later to celebrate."  She stole another kiss with a smile.  "Don't you have to do that right before you put it in?"

"No, this is for some fever meds.  It's time for the sniffles and sneezes to start."  She hugged him, resting her head on his shoulder.  He smiled as she fell asleep, grinning at David.  "Put in the next one."  He looked down and dropped in the next ingredient. "Stir anti- clockwise."

David glanced at him and started to stir, reading ahead.  He checked his watch and added the next one after five minutes, like it said.

***

Alex looked at the boys once they were alone.  Severus had been forced back to the school but he could come back this weekend.  "Okay, we're going to start the lessons today," he decided.  Draco moaned as he put down his book.  "You can come back to it."  He stood up, nodding outside.  "Come on.  Outside.  Someone go cast a warming charm on the snow."  Ron went out to do that.  Harry and Draco followed and Alex grabbed a bag of marbles.  That was an advanced lesson but he might get to it today.  Ron had created a big enough circle of warmth for all of them.  Alex sat down, and the boys gave him long stares so he pointed.  "Down."  They sat, Ron leaning back on his elbows, Draco leaning forward to rest on his knees, Harry slumping.  "It's not that bad.  This is a skill that'll make your lives richer, fuller, and happier.  Draco, you've already seen some of this. The upper levels are moon dark."  Draco looked more interested in that.  "Long ago, there were Druids. They had sensing abilities for the earth.  What you have in sensing mazes, they have for sensing the earth, the sky, the trees.  Now when you work in a tomb or a cave, that's really handy.  It means you won't get caved in."

They all nodded and even Ron looked interested.  "The major thing they learned was that it wasn't just them, that all wizards have it.  Those of us with it feel things that most people decided to ignore when we were children.  That's why this is part of the moon revels some of us do.  Many of us revel at the full moon.  That feeling of fulfillment and joy that the promise has been fulfilled.  Some of us, and usually those of us more powerful and especially in this family, feel moon dark.  The night the moon and time stops and then restarts.  I've already shown Draco that, and he'll be learning the rest with you.  The way you sense the earth is the same way you used sensing in that maze at the school.  Only now you're sensing things that surround you.  Harry, when you did the maze the first time, you tapped into it.  That feeling of heaviness around you was sensing the air.  You can use that to tell if gas is present.  Now, close your eyes and concentrate those sensing abilities. In the warming circle you should feel a touch of wrongness, like the earth's confused."

Draco sat up a bit straighter and tipped his head to the side, then looked at his mate.  "I felt a tingly feeling."

"Those are the wards.  You're sensing the magic of the area. That's part of the veela gifts."

Draco nodded and went back to it, then laid a hand on Alex's, linking with him so he could feel it.  "Is that the magic?  It doesn't feel the same."

"It is.  Remember those exercises we did at Hogwarts?  Where you saw the shields?"  He nodded.  "This is the same thing only great-great-grandfather pulled up the ambient magic in the area to help with the charms.  What you've got there is pure magic, Draco," he said gently.  "The full earth magic.  Let that go slowly, coming back toward me."  He could feel Draco's hold on the magic slowly release and realized when he got it because he giggled.  "That's the earth.   Let me guess, you can see the former horses playing with the great uncle who was a pirate?"

"Yes!  That's so cute!" he said, sitting up straighter.  "What are they doing?"

"As far as I know, my old stallion is teasing him by offering a ride and then trotting off.  I've never really figured that out."

Harry frowned a bit.  "I can't sense anything but the air."

"I can sense something really solid, but it's numbing my ass," Ron offered.

Alex grinned and linked with them, showing them where it was.  They both suddenly smiled.  "That's how you sense the earth.  Now, come back and then try again.  The more in tune you are, the clearer pictures you'll see.  With the family's gifts, I can walk through a cemetery and see the people having tea on and around the graves."

Harry relaxed and let it go again, finding it this time by himself.  He pulled back and frowned. "Something really doesn't feel right, Alex.  It's like it's twisting my guts."

"Some people get that," Alex admitted.  "They don't have the full sensing gift."

"Does purity matter?" Draco asked.

"No.  Usually it's a matter of power and concentration.  Now, some people do have other elements instead of earth.  Harry might be able to only sense the air.  Some people are like that.  That won't matter in the later lessons but he won't be reveling with us on the moon dark."  A clue dinged in his head and suddenly he knew the answer to a long-held mystery.

"Like Severus does," Draco said.  Alex nodded. "Okay.  What about Weasley?"

"Ron!" Alex called in a sing-song voice.  Ron gave a drugged-sounding grunt.  "Ah.  He's hit the power lake under the castle."  He pinched him and Ron woke up, shaking his head.  "That's a pool of power.  You turn into a puddle of goo when you dwell in those."

"Okay."  He rubbed his forehead.  "It was like fairy wine."  Charley had given him and Bill some for Christmas after being a few jugs for saving a higher ranking fairy from a dragon.

"Yup," Alex said, nodding a bit.  "The only time I ever had to save Bill that wasn't a natural disaster, like a cave in, was when he got caught in a pool of power in a tomb.  He was laying on the floor of the tomb giggling at the pretty colors and slowly being eaten by some creatures in there and there was a living mummy standing over him."

"Those are movies," Harry told him.

Alex shook his head.  "No that means that there's magic animating the body, like a long- dead, well preserved zombie.  They had one in Vegas in those tombs out there.  Some of those are traps.  Sometimes it's the ambient magic left in the body acting for protection of the body, like a baby's accidental magic when they're about to be hurt.  Sometimes it's someone who was playing with necromancy.  I've run into eight now.  They're killed the same way as zombies. You cut off their heads."  The boys nodded at that.  "It's basically the same spell as the zombification spell that's done on animals for traps if that helps any.  Now, back to the lesson, if you're strong enough in the right areas, you can actually make the earth help you temporarily."

"Like that ramp you created during the trip to the caves," Ron said.  Alex nodded.  "Wow.  Are we gonna learn that?"

"I'm going to teach you however much I can, Ron.  That's really a higher level of it.  If you've got it in you, then yes.   If you don't, then there's no chance it'll happen."  They all nodded at that.  "We'll finish on the moon phase exercise since tonight in moon dark and Draco and I will be reveling.  Draco gave him a shy smile for that. "You'll like the grove, Draco."  That got a nod.  "Good.  Let's get back to work.  Harry, I know it's hard but try and then try with the air."  Harry nodded, accepting that.

***

Ron and Harry watched and felt Draco and Alex going to revel, and now they knew what they were doing.  If they closed their eyes they could see what was going on.  Alex had given them the book with that spell so they could find out if they were ones who would be reveling.  "Do you feel anything?" he asked Harry.

"Only really embarrassed.  I already knew enough about how my uncle had sex."  He turned off the spell.  "I don't need to see them dance."  He looked at his best friend.  "Do you feel anything?"

"No but most of my family likes the full moon.  The light, the twinkling of the stars. Mum and Dad sit outside most months and just swing on the porch.  Maybe they played and reveled in their youth but they're really old now and I don't want to think about that."

"Me either," Harry decided, shaking his head.  "Maybe you should write Bill.  Alex said you could connect with anyone else who was reveling.  Draco said something about finding out that Severus was his son that way."

"What happens if you're not on the same schedule as your mate?"

"Then they can either help or you can party alone, I guess," Harry offered.  "Maybe they're not all sexual."

"The book he gave us said it wasn't.  That the full moon was usually more of a party because more wizards liked the full moon.  First stage was usually a girlish thing, usually for younger girls.  Last phase was usually for people like all your aunts, maiden crones.  It said most males like the full moon most, but it did mention the clan as liking and understanding moon dark."  He looked toward the grove and restarted the spell, making Harry do it since it took both of them.  They could feel the satisfaction and the peace flowing from them.  The dancing looked funny but then Alex took Draco into his arms and it became more primal.  Both boys blushed and canceled it when they realized where it was going.  "We need to bring Dawn up here to help her find hers," Ron decided.

"She's a first stage," Harry said quietly.  "She's still very young.  Her body's only a few years old, Ron."  He looked at him, they were leaning on a windowsill to watch outside.  "She's always felt the pregnant pause before a spell takes hold."

"Then what about you, Harry?"

"I...I think I am too," he admitted finally.  "It just feels right.  That's usually when the nightmares are the lightest and when I get hurt less in flying accidents.  Is there anything in there about air sensing?"  Ron nodded, handing over the book.  He searched in the index and opened it, smiling at it.  "Yeah, here.  Air sensing is just off the normal path, like a twist to the right basically, and that means we like the pregnant pause or the birth feeling at the end of the month.  So either first phase or moon dark and since I don't like tonight...."  He closed the book and handed it back.  "I promise, Ron.  If I revel with Dawn, it won't be sexual."

"That's fine, Harry.  I trust you because I know I can kill you in your sleep."

Harry grinned and punched him on the arm.  "Thanks, Ron."  They went back to their room.  It was late and they didn't want to feel the magic stop and those two out there have sex.

***

About a week later, Dawn walked down to the dungeons.  She could feel the desire to go outside and she wasn't sure what was going on.  She tapped on the classroom door, getting a sour look.  "Sir, I'm feeling this deep seated urge to go dance and sing."

He blinked a few times.  "I don't think that's something I can help you with."

"Yes you can, you and Holly go out and do the same thing every month."

"Ah!  That urge. That deep pull?"  She frowned and nodded.  "Very well.  Do you know where the grotto is?"

"No, I don't.  That's why I came down."

"Very well.  Follow me."  He walked her out, finding her cohorts waiting on her.  "Miss Weasley?  Tonight?"

"No.  My family's more in touch with the full moon.  I was going to guard her with Luna, Professor."

"There's no need.  She'll be perfectly safe."  He walked her outside, going past Hagrid since he was walking Fang around.  Dawn stopped to play with him for a moment then followed him out into the forest.  He showed her to his glade, letting her into the protections he had cast on it when he had been in school.  She walked in and he could tell she was already gone, but he could feel power coming in and watched as Potter walked in with her.  "Really?" he called.  "Isn't she taken, Mr. Potter."

"It's not sexual, Snape.  Not between us.  That'd be like me taking Ginny."  He looked at her and smiled.  "Alex just showed us how," he offered.  She nodded and took his hand, dancing with him.

Severus put back up the protections and went back to his classroom.  They would be more than safe.  If they did copulate, he was sure he'd hear about it later, whether he wanted to or not.  The headmaster met him at the doorway.  "Miss Summers found her phase."

"Ah. I remember that feeling," he offered with a small smile.  "As I'm sure you do.  Was that Harry?"  He nodded.  "That could cause problems."

"He thinks of her like a sister, Albus. I doubt there'll be those sort of problems."  He went back down to the dungeons and his detention.  The other parts of the trio were down there and he raised an eyebrow.  "I didn't know I put you two in detention."

"You didn't," Ginny assured him.  "Luna doesn't have you anymore anyway."  She slid off the desk she was sitting on.  "Is she all right?"

"She's fine.  She's well protected, even from the forest itself."

"Good.  Then can you tell us what's going on?" Luna asked.

Snape looked at her.  "You've never felt the call to revel at the moon?"

"No.  Never.  I really don't understand what it's about.  Yes she's powerful, but why revel?"

"Because for some, the urge overcomes all other considerations," Armwrench said from the doorway.  "She's in your glade?"  He nodded.  "Good.  She and Harry will be fine together.  Nothing should happen.  Tonight is a night of celebrating accomplishments and joy in the upcoming prosperity."  He looked at the girls.  "Some people feel this urge very strongly, ladies.  Some people do not feel it at all.  Alex's family all feel moon dark.  I'm guessing that Harry has air sense instead of earth sense?"  Severus nodded that he was right. "Which is interesting.  I felt Ronald touch the pool of power under the ancestral home.   I also felt Methos have a spontaneous orgasm when he saw the library.  I noticed Philip's still mumbling about something he's reading every spare moment he has."

"Why would you be that happy in a library?" one third year asked from her scrubbing the back floor.

"Because living as long as he has takes knowledge, young lady.  You can ask him that question or if you think even the tiniest bit you'll understand."  He looked at Severus.  "I could use a good scrubbing."

"We'd offer but you know you don't like girls," Ginny taunted with a smug look.

"Take this conversation out of my classroom," Snape ordered. "I do have young and impressionable children in here."

"Yes, sir.  Thank you for helping Dawnie, sir."  They led their favorite teacher out.

"Miss Lovegood, that is not humanly possible!" he called from the hallway.

Snape laughed.  He was sure those three gave him as many nightmares as they did the rest of the school.

***

Ron brought the two celebrants breakfast, laying it out beside where they were napping together.  He had seen what was going on and he wasn't upset or anything. A few innocent kisses was nothing and he wouldn't get upset over it.  He coughed really loudly at the soft moan from Dawn.  "Brekkie," he called.

Dawn lifted her head, giving him a long stare.  "Oh, shit," she said softly.

He smirked a bit.  "I already know, Dawn.  I did the spell to watch you guys to see if you needed protecting since you were both so involved.  I know you're not going to jump Harry.  Come eat.  Potter!"  Harry rolled onto his back and slowly sat up, holding his head.  "Draco said his first revel was like fairy wine for the senses."

"It is," Harry agreed, shifting over to get something to clear his head. "Sorry, Ron."

"Harry, it was only a few kisses.  I'm not mad.  You were reveling and I wasn't here.  I know you wouldn't have slept with her.  Next month, I'll be here and she can link me in.  I talked to mum last night, most of the family just basks on the full moon, feeling happy and free."

"I'll find out how to link you in, Ron," she agreed, giving him a gentle kiss.  "You're sure you're not mad?"

"If you hadn't been revel-drugged, I would be, but he stopped you and I trust you."  She nodded, resting her head on his shoulder, letting out a small yawn.  "You still have classes today."

"Bugger."

Harry chuckled.  "So do we, Dawn. We're doing advanced sensing lessons.  You and Snape are coming up this weekend and for the next few to get your own versions."

"We can't do it here?"

"There the magic's still pure," Ron pointed out.  "Here, you could be ambushed by a pocket of dark magic or even a hex by someone.  I'd rather have you learn where it's safe and then let you practice here once you've learned."

"Fine.  Not like I mind getting sprung.  I swear, some days it's like a jail."

He stroked her back.  "I know.  It'll be fine.  Just a few more years."  She nodded, letting out another little yawn.  He felt something coming nearer and looked up.  The wards flashed and raised.  "Who is it?" he called.

"Me," the headmaster said as he walked out of the trees.  "Harry, I thought I felt you.  May I enter?"

"This one time.  I can't grant you access to Severus' wards."

"That's fine, I understand."  He walked in and smiled at Dawn.  "You're missing your first class, young lady."

"Yay," she said dryly, looking at him.  "Headmaster, I suck at potions.  We all know I suck at potions.  Alex said I could copy off someone's work in potions if I wanted since I suck so bad at potions."

"They're doing one of their practical potions lessons."

"I knew that and I've already learned contraception," she noted dryly.  "Professor Snape made sure of it when Professor Armwrench found out I was screwing mine up."  He shuddered at that.  "He took me aside one night to teach me how to do two of them and combine them so there's no chance of me getting pregnant this year.  Fortunately, some of the other girls are also needing it so I'm making a bit of pocket change now and then," she finished dryly.

"Still, you should attend classes."

"Let me eat first," she complained.  She lifted her head and looked at Ron.  "What lessons?"

"The sensing lessons," he said with a grin.  "There's a great maze under the dungeons to practice in at night."

"Cool."  She poured herself some coffee and dished out some food for each of them then dug in.  She was starved!  "Will it be like this every month?"

"Only if you let it.  You might feel the need to get outside that night, but you don't have to always revel," Harry offered.  "I asked Alex.  He said he lets his control go at moon dark, that it purifies and reenergizes him.  Draco goes so he can party with him and because it makes him feel peaceful and calm, loved even."  He ate a bite of biscuit.  "Want one, sir?"

"No, that's all right, Harry.  I just need to make sure Miss Summers attends classes today.  Otherwise she will start having to do detentions."

Dawn looked at him.  "It's not like I could help it.  Armwrench showed me moon dark that time but it wasn't like this. This sang in my blood, I had to get out of there and come out."

"As it often is when that sense is awakened," he agreed.  "I usually stay up moon dark night.  The power calls out to me to stand vigil."

She nodded. "So, see, I couldn't really help it and I wore myself out dancing."

"I understand but you still must attend classes today."

"I will, once I've eaten and cleaned up.  I refuse to go to class all nasty and skanky."

"Very well."  He left, going back to the castle.

She snorted once the wards had went back to their relaxed state, meaning he was well gone.  "I've been getting a lot more of that recently."

"I remember that feeling," Harry said, looking at Ron. "Don't you?"

"Yeah, right about fifth year," he said dryly, smirking back.  He looked at Dawn, then at Harry.  "She's the school's protector, but really."

"No, Ginny's the school's protector," Dawn corrected.  "I'll be when she's gone."

"Did Ginny pass anything first term?" Ron asked.  She shook her head.  "So she'll be here next year?"

"Oh, yeah.  Luna's already told her father she's flunking this year to stay with us.  From what she said, he was not amused, but he understood. As long as she did it subtly.  She won't be eighteen until next October anyway so he said it was probably safer."

"Is the dark lord coming back *again*?" Harry asked.

"No.  They're not worried about that.  Her dad's got to head overseas to buy a new newspaper and run it for a bit.  He didn't want her in the house alone.  She forgets to wear clothes and he said he didn't want a floo call from Wesley about her being pregnant."

"No, that's probably not a thing any of us want," Ron agreed, shaking his head quickly.  "I'd hate to see those kids.  Oooh, Ma," he said, going into falsetto, "look at the pretty demons.  Can I play with them even though they're eating people?  Da would be so proud."

Dawn snickered and kissed him.  "Wes's kids are going to be book nerds," she promised.  "Any kid of Ethan's will be a hellion and a book nerd. We'll survive."  He nodded, hugging her against him.  "Can't I run away and go shoe shopping?"

"Nope," Ron said, kissing her on the forehead.  "We made it through while fighting shadowy battles each year while the adults tried to get in our way or force ideas onto us that they wanted us to know without telling us everything we needed to know.  You can do it without that.  You can go shoe shopping when we drag you home for a bit."  He stole another kiss.  "I'll even let you buy a new pair of boots."

She squealed and hugged him before digging in again, since she had to go.

***

Alex looked up as his office door opened, raising an eyebrow at the person standing there.  "How did you get here?"

"I asked my sister-in-law to set the floo so I couldn't hear and then came through," Percy noted, closing the study door behind him.  "There's some things you're not keeping up with, Alex.  Two things really.  One, mum's pissed that Ron didn't make it home for the holidays.  He went to see her today and explained it, but she's still mad at you.  Called you an inconsiderate child and the reason why Bill doesn't write often enough or settle down."  Alex smirked a bit at that and shrugged.  "She may forgive you soon but the other thing is a bit more serious.  There's a push to get Dumbledore out of office."

"Which I wholly support.  There's been some things that have always nagged me about Albus Dumbledore."

"Such as?"

"Such as the curse that got me wasn't dark magic, it was very light magic.  Magic that was drawn during the full moon from Stonehenge."  Percy looked confused.  "I saw the radiance of it afterward, it blinded me for hours.  It was pure, ancient magic.  I'm very familiar with the native magics around here and it was Stonehenge's magic."

"Is that the only reason?"

"After I was deaged, about a year after *he* put me in Sunnydale with the two drunks, who were drunks at that time as well, and he had blocked off my powers on purpose, there was a sudden, inexplicable lightening attack on the house that destroyed the other manor."  Percy nodded, he knew that.  "But it had been ransacked first.  The anti-theft spells brought a lot of stuff from Hogwarts and if I went and opened up a few hidden chambers in there I'd probably find even more of the family's possessions.  Plus, after that one attack where everyone was laid out, I thought it odd he was trying to remove my mate, my bonded-at-that-time-mate who would have went insane and driven everyone else in that school off the deep end too, my nephew Harry, and Ron from my custody."

"Circumstantial but very telling," Percy noted.  "Why do you think he laid the spell?"

"A few things really.  First because he knew Harry had air sensing magics and his innate gifts would create a shield to protect him.  That's the only way that curse could have been fended off without it ricocheting around the house and hitting everyone else when done by a baby.  I know he knew because I found Lily's diary in the stuff that got saved from Hogwarts's back corridors."  He sat up, looking at him.  "I was deaged about six months after Harry survived.  Why didn't he bring me the baby and claimed Petunia was the *only* relative?  He knew Lily was my family.  Lily's diary said he knew.  He told her she was from a line of squibs instead of muggle born."  Percy shivered at that.  "So, no, he knew.  There were a good few aunts still alive at that time.  Aunt Nadia and Aunt Cordy were both still alive.  They weren't resurrected.  By rights, Harry should have come to us first and then Petunia since her attitudes were so well known."

"So you believe he did this to keep you here?"

"Draco thinks he knew he'd need a strong warrior later on and cursed me to get it.  He knows he used Harry shamelessly.  Harry's treatment speaks greatly of mental conditioning.  Of course he'd do anything for the first people to show him love and affection after that abuse, it's classic psychology."

Percy nodded.  "That's what prompted this current thought to remove him from office."   He licked his lips and glanced around, then back at him.  "Would you back us up, politically, if we did so is the real question.  Openly if necessary?"

"Yes.  As long as we get rid of Fudge at the same time."

Percy smiled.  "He's gone and come back once.  We should be able to do that. Do you have any good suggestions for headmaster?"

"Philip Callahan.  He's worked in muggle schools and magical schools both.  He's got a good feel for both sides of the equation.  He's a former priest. He was trained at Hogwarts.  The teacher he's filling in for will be back next year.  Why not McGonagall?"

"Because she refused to see him gone," he said quietly.  Someone pounded on the door and he moved, letting Harry in.  "Sorry.  Something important?"

"A bit.  I've been eavesdropping.  You might want to talk to Dawn.  He's been treating her like he did me.  He came out this morning to gently remind her she had to go to classes, suggested she leave right then and head to potions immediately without eating."  He grinned at his uncle.  "Ron promised her a few hours shoe shopping during the weekend off for lessons."

"Sure. Not an issue with me."  He looked at Percy.  "The next couple of years, Dawn is one of the school's guardians.  You tell me."

Percy nodded. "I'll bring this back to my boss.  Any idea who you'd like in Fudge's place?"

"A trained chimp would do better," Harry said dryly. "A flobber worm would do better than Fudge."

Percy smiled.  "We've often wondered if he wasn't one changed to human with the lack of spine he has."  He nodded at Alex.  "Thank you for your information and indulgence."

"Not a problem."  He watched as Percy left and looked at his nephew.  "Is Dawnie okay?"

"Just fine.  A bit pissed but fine."  That got a small smile.  "How about you?"

"I'm good.  Can we hold a party for that?"  Harry laughed and walked off shaking his head.  "Tell the old man!"

"I'm going to do that now, Alex.  He'll dance and sing."  All the family hated Dumbledore for the way he had treated him.  The portraits would be having a party later tonight.

***

Philip looked up as his classroom door opened and Dawn nodded behind her.  "I'm on errand duty and you've got a visitor in the front hall, Professor."

"That's fine, Miss Summers.  I'll be right there."  She nodded and left, closing the door behind her.  "You lot read and study.  I'll be right back.  If I'm not back by the end of class, read the next chapter, do the exercises at the end, I'm taking them up next class."  He left, going to see what was going on.  He found someone in a really ugly suit which screamed 'government' to him.  "Hello."

The man smiled and pulled out his ID case.  "Professor Callahan, I'm Timit DeWinters with the Ministry.  We need to talk to you about something going on in the building."

"Something dark or otherwise?"

"Otherwise," he admitted.  "May we walk?"

"I've got a class after this.  Can it wait three periods for lunch?"

"Sure.  I'll meet you on the path just past the barrier, shall I?"

"That'd be fine," he agreed, looking a bit curious.  That meant someone didn't want Dumbledore able to hear what was going on.  "Is it a problem?"

"Not for you, we think."  He grinned.  "I'll see you then, Professor.  Thank you."  He left, going to have a bit of a drink and a browse around.  It's not often he got to browse on work hours.  Philip was waiting when he got back there, making him smile.  "Good.  Walk with me, Professor."  Philip joined him and they walked back toward town a ways, just in case any eavesdropping charms had been cast.  He saw the teacher cast a counter and sat down on a set of nearby stones the students rested on if they were tired.  "There's a push in the Ministry to remove Albus Dumbledore from Hogwarts," he said quietly, looking very serious.  "We have evidence to believe he has done grave misconduct to some of the students, including one Harry Potter regarding his treatment of him.  We've convened a special hearing panel to hear the charges against him and you're going to be called to testify.  Alex Dumass already has."

"I didn't agree with where he put the boy either, but she was his only family."

"Dumass was deaged six months after Harry survived.  I doubt if he had been given the baby he would have been in that cave, even though he hates children and would have left it to his aunts,," he noted softly.  Philip looked stunned.  "Plus there's things about a lightening attack on the current manor house?"  Philip nodded that was true, he'd heard about that.  "You're a former priest and you've been teaching for a very long time, even among the muggles you'd learn stuff about abuse and watching motives of those around you I figure."  Philip relaxed and nodded.  "We'll need you to contact some of the others in your group of friends who might have information."

"You need to talk to Severus Snape," he said quietly.  "He was a spy for him for years.  He's been here since he was nineteen."

"He's being called later this afternoon.  You're the last to be called.  We need to know if we have to allot time to others from your group."

Philip rolled up his sleeve and touched his Bane tattoo, sending that over the linkage they all wore.  Alex told him what sort of questions he had been asked and what he had freely told them.  Snape asked when he was being called and Philip told him.  Then Alex said a nice thing and Philip looked at him. "I'm up for headmaster?" he asked, looking horrified.  "Of this madhouse?"

The official laughed and nodded. "You are one of three being considered.  There's two seriously under consideration."

"But still!  I'd have no life!  I'd never get to travel.  I'd never get to study anything."

"You would.  That's why there's holidays.  The Ministry looked into your records at your past teaching jobs.  You're a beloved teacher by many. You're a protector, Philip.  You're also very good at the job.  You know children, you know the differences they'd have coming in and going out.  Most of us think you're the better choice of the three.  One's only a pipe dream.  One's a decent enough choice but he'd be just as horrified.  It'll come down to two of you working together.  Him in the lead and you following or you in the lead and him following."

"Who?  Not Snape?"

"No, not Severus Snape.  He was suggested but it was felt he'd have too much to do with his upcoming first child.  Besides, he's a bit...partial to his own house instead of the impartiality we need.  We want someone who can support all houses, not just their own."

"McGonagall?"

"She wanted to keep the old codger."

"Ah."  He nodded, understanding that political sidestep.  "Who?"

"Methos."

Philip considered it then shuddered.  "I want to be in the room when you tell 'im," he said.  "Just to take a picture of his face and to take his sword from him."

"We'd appreciate that," he offered with a grin.  He handed over a small bag.  "I got you lunch since I'm taking up most of it."

"Thank ya."  He tucked it into his pocket.  "I've got a test after this, I'll eat then."  That got a smile.  "When you need me, call, but I'm not so sure this panel isn't wrong in the head for wanting us to be running this insanity."

"Eh, it takes some insanity to understand it, but it also takes a clear understanding of both paths that could be taken and all the ways the students can torture and block themselves off from a bright future."  He stood up.  "You're good at that."

"I may be, but I'm not crazy enough to run this joint."

"We'll see," he offered with a smile.  "Thank you, Philip.  Have a good test."  He walked off whistling.

Philip went back to the school, shaking his head quickly at the thoughts he was having.  He didn't know which was more wrong, him or Methos running this place.  He ran into the old coot in the entryway and looked at him.  "Have you been called yet?"

"I have sent an owl saying I'd like to be called. I imagine it's finding your little friend down there.  There's a few other names on it as well."  He stepped closer.  "Who do they want?"

"Us.  One of us."  He looked horrified.  "That's my feeling.  The other would be second."

"I'd bloody well run," Methos said dryly.  He walked off.  "I'm off to class.  I got your test started and they're probably cheating by now."

"Not if they know what's good for 'em," he said as he headed back to his classroom.  He did find a few cheating and they got expelled and sent to the office, but he got to sit down and eat his lunch while he thought.

Shifting Over.

Alex looked up as the front door slammed.  As far as he knew all the boys were still there.  He waited, whoever it was would come find him.  The door opened and a very familiar face looked in, lounging in the doorway.  "Morning, Arens."

"You greedy bitch, you took all of the good apprentices," he said, his voice deep, but it had that hint of 'flaming queen' in his tone.

"Sue me, I'm married to one, the grandfather of another, and the third is Bill's little brother and Harry's best friend.  What did you want me to do?" he asked smartly, smirking at him.  "No tagalong?"

"We broke up *years* ago," he said snidely.  "If you actually quit working you'd know that, Alex."

Xander shrugged.  "It happens.  They want me to start playing quidditch instead."  He grinned at him.  "What's up, Arens?"

"Your apprentices need help.  They're stuffy, they're still stiff, and Ron's a horrible liar."  He grinned sweetly.  "I love you, but they're turning into you and not having any fun."

"Ron's engaged," he said happily.  "To my little sister."

"Pity, but I've seen in the papers.  They're cute."

"I thought you were retired."

"I *am* retired, but I'm fucking bored, Alex!  There's not as many pretty little wizards anymore.  They're all training under you!"  He smirked at the boy walking up behind him.  "Hi, precious."

"Bugger off," Harry told him.  "I'm still straight."  He peeked into the office.  "One of your exes?  Should I warn Draco?"

"This is Arens, he used to be my partner, Harry.  But yeah, go ahead and warn Draco he's a horrible flirt and hates boys over the age of twenty-six."

Harry nodded and walked off shaking his head. "Draco!  His old partner is here and he wants your arse too!" he yelled as he walked.  "He only likes pretty little boy toys!"

Arens giggled.  "He's so cute!" he cooed.

"I heard that.  I am not!" Harry yelled.  He slammed the kitchen door.

Draco came out of the library, looking at him. "Who're you?" he asked calmly.

"Arens, his old partner," he said, holding out a hand.

Draco shook it delicately then wiped his hand off. "You're sweaty, would you mind not drooling over me."  He walked into the office and stole a kiss.  "What's going on?"

"He wants to teach you guys his areas.  Ignore his flirting or try to kick his ass."  He patted Draco on the back.  "Any luck on that translation?"

"No.  The dictionary is in Goblin and that's about my fifth language."  He grimaced.  "Can't Weasley learn this one?"

"No."

"Bastard," he muttered, heading back to it.  He did turn and punch the guy when he got pinched, weathering the laughter.  He pulled his wand instead, pointing it at him. "I'm not the one for you.  Learn your place."

"Draco," Alex warned.  "He's harmless.  He just likes pretty things.  You are my most pretty thing.  He covets you."  He grinned.  Draco snorted, walking back to his job for the day.  "Arens, touch my veela again and die in a way only I can give you," he said calmly.  "Understand?"

"Understood, Alex.  I may covet but I'll quit trying to touch."

"Good.  That'll extend your life by many more years."  He picked up his book again, going back to it.  "Ron's hiding by now since Harry's had plenty of time to warn him.  Draco's working on a translation.  Harry's waiting until practice."  He turned the page.  "Tonight we're going to all sit down after dinner and start back on the artifact handling lectures and those things."

"Good!"  He headed for the kitchen, smiling at the house elves.  "Darlings!"

Me the house elf looked at him and got him some butterbeer.  "Arens needs to calm down," she ordered. "Pretty boys are not for Arens.  Pretty boys are for Dawn and Alex."  She got back to work.

"I know and it's a pity," he said happily.  He looked at the redhead coming in.  "Hi, precious."

Ron looked at the skinny blond man, then shook his head and walked off.  "Harry warned me.  Alex, do I have a job before this evening's lesson or should I call Mum since she's fussing again?"

"Call your mother before she tries to storm this place by going over the hills."

"Sure, Alex."  He went to call his mother so she'd quit worrying.  Not that it'd help any, but it'd at least keep her from trying to storm the place.  And maybe it'd get him cookies.

***

Alex put the chest in front of the kids and Arens.  "Who can tell me what this is?"

"The thing that vexes me unto screaming?" Draco suggested.

"Besides that.  Does it have a name?"

Draco consulted his notes.  "The Chest of Darkness and Doom as near as I could translate."

Alex picked it up and looked at the side, then at him. "You need to work on your Goblin.  Doom and Remorse."

"Whatever."

"It does matter," he said patiently.  "Sometimes it matters a lot."  He looked at the other two. "Okay, this is cursed.  Can either of you feel it?"

Harry nodded.  "Yes.  I can feel something slick and nasty, like it's dead."

"Very good," Arens said happily.  "I can tell you it's not remains, it's not human, and it's blood magic."

Ron looked at him, then nodded once.  He looked at Xander again.  "This is the alternate magic stuff?"  Alex nodded, smirking at him.  "Mum said I'm not stay normal or else."

"You will.  I promise you will.  Even if you learn it, it doesn't mean you've got to use it," he said patiently.  He looked at Arens.  "Since I know you were there when I found it, would you like to tell Draco what it's for so he can tell us what you do with it?"

"Uncurse it and release the contents so they quit radiating?"

"Not in this case."  He patted the top of the box.  "This is an artifact in the 'unholy' category; what do we do with those, Ron?"

"We say a few prayers to Merlin and hope we're not infected."

Alex sighed and looked up.  "I'm serious, Ron!" he snapped.

"Fine.  We find out all we can while we keep it contained, keep ourselves from being infected, then we figure out the best methods of permanent containment or destruction.  Then we pray to Merlin and pray we're not infected."

"Good!" Xander said, beaming at him.  "Very good.  Thank you!"

"I'm serious in the field."

"If you're faced with an unfamiliar artifact, I want you to be just as serious.  I have seventy-two things in this house that, if released, could eat all of you before you're aware it's in the room.  Granted, sixty-four of them are all part of the same problem, but still."  They all sighed.  "You guys can play *on* the job but not *about* the job.  Got it?"  They all nodded. "Good.  We can play and joke and laugh all we want while we're working as long as we're serious about the work and what we're doing.  Personally I made that same joke once in Gringotts and the goblins looked at me like I was insane."  Ron grinned at that.  "So did Bill when he was asked that question."  He stroked the top of the box again, then looked at his mate.  "You need to work on the language stuff, Draco.  Seriously.  It's kinda necessary around here.  Starting with goblin.  Tomorrow, honey."

"Yes, dear," he smarted back. "First thing tomorrow I'll call and find out when the lessons are."

"Good.  While you're at it, take advanced Latin too.  Harry, you get Greek, and yes I know about your practice schedule, they make books for that, and Ron you can have Egyptian since I'm sure Bill's given you some lessons before."  He nodded, agreeing with that.  "Yes, this is the time when you have to start getting a bit more serious.  Since Gringotts so *thoughtfully* decided I should be cutting back to have more fun, we've now got time to do this instead of learning in the field.  Arens is one of the best people to teach you alternative magic in the field today."  They all nodded at that.  "So that's what he's going to be doing.  Starting with house elf."  Ron whimpered. "Tough, Ron.  Remember, you've got to be able to think like the person who started a curse or a spell to truly break it.  Otherwise...."

"You leave contaminated magic that can harm others.  I know that, Alex," Ron complained.  "But I'd like to have some fun now and then too."

"Ron, language lessons are two hours a day. You can go straight from that into lessons with Arens.  That gives you the other twenty hours to sleep, play, and have sex with Dawn.  Okay?"  Ron nodded, accepting that now.  "Good!  Harry, your coaches know, they've just conveniently forgotten.  Feel free to bring the language books with you for those times you're bored."

"Yes, Alex."  He shifted some.  "I've got a letter upstairs that came yesterday asking if I would sponsor a child into Hogwarts."

"It's not unheard of. You basically become the favorite uncle or aunt of the child in question, helping them get accustomed to the world and all that.  You're there to answer any pesky wizarding questions and help with the shopping.  It's usually done with muggle borns."  Draco let out a delicate shudder.  "I know, but it can ease the kid's transition, Draco.  The same as Greg's sponsoring Lindsey to Canada."  He looked at Harry.  "Why you?"

"The kid's parents died right before the war.  She's been in foster care. She's the daughter of a quidditch player as well."

Alex nodded.  "I leave that up to you, Harry.  If you do, warn the aunts so they can fuss over her."

"I'm sensing the unsubtle hand of Dumbledore," Draco noted patiently.  He looked at Harry, who shrugged.  "No?"

"McGonagall."

"Even less subtle," he noted dryly.  "Is she already in the school?"  He shook his head.  "Have you met with her?"

"No, but she sent me a long letter about the child.  She seems a lot like Hermione in some ways."

"We haven't seen her in a while," Ron noted.  "Have you?"  Harry considered it then shook his head.  "We should at least do lunch."

"Last I heard she was working in the archives at the Ministry and ignoring the world except for her quest for Philip," Alex noted dryly.  "If you guys want, you guys can bring her to the other house and hang out some Saturday."  They smiled at him.  "Until then, however, we are going to work on all the treasures around this house so I have the room to collect more stuff."

"Is Bill finishing Malgadesh?" Ron asked.  Alex nodded. "But he woke him up!"

"Yeah, but the goblins want me to clear out some of the stuff here.  They seem to think I've got a hidden storehouse.  Which I do," he admitted with a grin.

"Beyond downstairs?" Harry asked.  Alex nodded.  "How many?"

Alex just smirked and went to get the language texts, handing them the ones they'd need.  Arens laughed at that and got his own book.  "Alex, are you adding onto the library?"

"I need to," he admitted.  "We need to do another expansion spell since we've reached the limits of the last one.  Otherwise we'd have a whole 'nother floor already.  We've already overflowed a few of the bookcases."  He shrugged and went to the card catalog to look up the family history to see how he had done it the last time.  His pensieve came down and he took it back to his study to watch the event.

Draco got up to walk around the table to see where that had come from.  "I'll be damned!  There's another room up there!"

"There's a whole floor between the ballroom and the living spaces," Arens noted dryly, smirking at him.  "It's full too.  They started there and this got built later. I think he should knock out the far wall and just build on again."  He waved a hand around.  "This is more knowledge than the goblins keep," he said happily.  "Since we've got some in storage...."  He grinned at him.  "It'll also keep up with the expansion spell."  He stood up and went to remind Alex of that.  He could easily build onto the room.

"Maybe Hermione can come update the card catalog," Ron told Harry, smirking and putting his feet up on the chair across from him.  "That way Draco doesn't go to sleep with hand cramps."

"He used to have a library elf," Draco noted bitterly.  "It's time to get another one."  They chuckled at that and he went to tell Alex about that idea.  "We need a library elf."

"We had one," Alex told him.  "She died when the house burned.  What're they saying now?"

"That Granger should update the card catalog."

Alex smirked at him.  "Why?  Philip's going to have time off this summer," he said innocently.  "So will Greg if he's got his way.  So will Sev and Methos.  The Banes have a lot of book nerds, dear.  I'm sure we don't have to do a permanent invite for Granger.  She gives me the creeps."

"Thank you for keeping your good taste in that too," he noted, going back to the library and to his research. He looked at the clock, then at Harry.  "Practice?" he reminded him.  Harry jumped up and ran off, heading out to the floo port.  He rolled his eyes.  "His coaches will be yelling I'm sure."  He sat down to get back to work, moving the chest away from him for now.  He really did need more language skills to do this job well.

***

Draco accepted the letter from the owl the next morning, smiling at it.  "Thank you."  It was fussy and always wanted to be thanked.  It hooted and took off to roost on top of the castle.  He poured himself some tea and sat down to drink it with his breakfast while he read it.  He groaned.  "Bugger, why do they need in the family jewelry?" he complained.  Alex lowered the side of his paper to look at him.  Draco handed over the letter, looking at the paper.  "Why is it in Russian and German?"

"It's printed on the border and that's where we're doing a raid to get back some of the family's assets."  He handed it back.  "Inside the book on that is the key.  You bring the book with you and use it to summon the piece you want."

"In the bank?"

"Yup, sorry, dear.  I know you don't like to spend time down in the vaults but it shouldn't take you that long.  If you have to, summon by the setting and then sort by hand."  He turned the page and got back into his reading.  "Arens, Ron, and I are headed to the border area later today to retrieve that stuff.  You might want to have a healing potion ready, just in case they shoot at us again."  He turned the page again.  "The Russian soccer team is doing well this year."

"I don't pretend to understand muggle sports," Draco reminded him.  "Is there a special significance to that piece?"

"Aunt Nadia has a date. She's scared to leave it at the house.  The unicorns don't like it."

"Can't we just *buy* her a new one?"

Alex looked at him. "You can try if you want," he offered dryly.  "She won't take the hint from me."

"I'll try that first."  He got down to eating his breakfast.  "Where are the annoyance twins?"

"Bed, still.  Harry got home late from practice and he's got a game today so he's sleeping in with permission.  Ron's going to sneak off and go with Arens to watch him play.  Tipsy's going too with one of the twins and the kids.  The twins'll switch out during the game so the other one can watch too."

"That's good I guess.  What're we doing until you leave?"

"Nothing much.  I'm going to do a general look over the storehouses while you work on your language lessons and write Dawn about Easter."  Draco smiled at that.  "I'm going to talk to someone about doing the building spell on the library once I've got the books moved back here.  That's what the house elves are doing today, along with some goblins who're on the bottom of the ranking so they get the shit jobs."

"They're in the bank too?"

Alex smirked.  "You didn't look at those lists very carefully, did you?"

"I tried not to.  My head started to hurt with the counting."

Alex nodded.  "Mine too.  That's why I'm looking forward to you doing it.  Don't forget the household accounts this month."

"Of course not.  I'll do that first."  He ate another bite and chewed slowly.  "Are we having the same people who put up the barn and redid the house do the extension and expansion of the spell?"  He nodded.  "Have they been here before?"

"Yup.  That firm replaced the stables when they burned the first time."

"Good, they can put up a small one this time."  He looked at him.  "Or some sort of pulley system so we can haul things back from the floo ports."

"Arens has my horse but we can get a cart pony and a cart."  He smiled and went back to his reading.  "I should call Justinius this morning."

"Why?"

"They were on his side of the family and the people who stuck up for him.  I should see if he wants any of it."

"Again, why?" he asked dryly.  "He hates you."

"Good point."  He smiled at him.  "You're so smart this morning."

"You're not having more sex, Alex.  Three times was enough."  That got a loud snicker from behind them so he looked back to find Arens there and dressed in jeans and a loose t- shirt.  "Going already?"

"Prepared so I don't have to change."  He smiled at the elves.  "Can I have some too?  My last boy left me and no one feeds me."  The house elves drug him to the table and sat him down, going to find him a large plate of food.  "No boys yet, Alex?"

"Harry's got a game today.  I figured we'd go during the game.  Maybe during the second quarter break."

"Sure.  Will it take long?"

"Shouldn't.  It should come at my call."  He shrugged.  "We'll just have to obliviate the muggles."  That got some smiles and a nod.  "Before then I was going to do a walking tour of the caverns.  See what Great Aunt Emma left."  He got up and found his sealed mug, pouring the rest of his tea into it and adding more, then fixing it properly. "I'll be back by lunch."  He headed out toward the caves.

"They're out there?"

"No, the entrance is out there somewhere.  No one but the curse breakers in the family know where they really are.  Katya might not even know and she's in the field now."  He shrugged and dug in, smiling at him. "You coming to the game?"

"Probably not.  I've got to find Aunt Nadia's favorite broach."

"It's in a blood red velvet box the last I knew."  He ate another bite. "Find her something prettier, Draco."

"I'm going to try.  I don't like being so far underground for any length of time."  He finished and got up, going to look at the accounts and call Nadia to see if she wanted to go shopping.  The poor dear burst out in tears and he soothed her, but said that she deserved something pretty and new to impress her friend with.  He managed to talk her into it, including some new jewelry.  Then he went back to the accounting problems the family had.  He found the entries for the book vaults and stared at the six pages of entries.  Then he banged his head on the desk a few times.  Why did he love such a book nerd?  Even worse than Methos, Severus, Philip, and Granger combined!

***

Alex looked at the shelves that now stood empty, and had the spells placed on them.  The contractor had been paid and just left so he was all alone with the extra space.  It was nearly double what it had been, and all empty.  But that was fine, he had things to fill them with.  He touched his tatoo, sending out a general call.  It was Sunday.  A good day for this.  "If any of you ever want to borrow another book again, I expect some help putting up the new books that I had in storage and updating the card catalog," he whispered.  "All eighty vaults of them."  He let it go and found the stack of already charmed cards for the catalog and knew at least that would expand.  He heard the front door slam open and smiled at the man who moved past the boxes littering the room and stacked in the hallways.  "Hi, Prof.  We had to expand.  We ran out of room on the old expansion spell."

He looked at all the boxes and loose books.  "How many more do you have?"

"This is only two vaults," he said happily.  "Do you need a summer project?"  Then he smiled sweetly.  "The elves can shelve but we'll have to write out the cards for the catalog."

Greg and Emilia walked in with the kids, stopping to stare.  "Oh, shit," Emilia said in awe.

"No, this is only two vaults worth," Xander said happily.

Greg walked over and kissed him.  "I love you, Alex.  If Emilia dies or leaves me, will you have me?"

"You'd have to fight Draco for me," he said, patting him on the back.  "By the way, most of the potions books are in vault eighteen.  I had them sorted by subject. These are the language ones and starting on the charms section.  That'll take up the next six vaults, then we'll go to specific area charms, like there's a vault with healing books that include charms and potions.  Like I said, the elves'll shelve and the goblins will haul the next vault up whenever we're ready.  Elf handwriting is messy and I can't read it so this part has to be done by human hands."

Severus stormed in, looking at the piles and stacks of books, then at his father.  "You've got to be joking."

"This is only two vaults," Methos told him.

Greg pulled out his cellphone and called his boss.  "I know it's sudden but I'm going to be coming in late three days from now.  No, Alex just expanded the library.  We've got about a million books to make cards for.  Grissom, this is a million books with at least sixty in Potions that I haven't seen before, man. I'll ask."  He looked at Alex.  "Anything on forensics or bugs?  Gris wants to know."

"Um, yes and yes.  In the potions section I think and the other's in creatures, which would be vault sixty something."

Greg put the phone back up to his ear.  "Yes, there are.  It may take me a week to get to the bug books, but should I ask him if you can borrow some?"  He grinned.  "No, we've got the kids with us.  Yeah, if you need Night, go ahead and ask him or Nippy."  He hung up and grinned at Philip and Blair as they came in.  "This is only two vaults worth."

Philip swallowed and looked around.  He crossed himself and said a quick prayer for taking the Lord's name in vain in awe at the sight before him.  He looked at Blair, who was drooling.  "He lets us borrow too," he said, nudging him.

Blair walked over there and hugged him.  "Anything on sentinels or guides?"

"Mystical artifacts are vaults forty-eight through sixty-one.  You're in there somewhere.  Did Jim come back?"  He nodded.  "Did you kick his ass?"

"Yeah, and I'm still on the edge of sanity.  What do we have to do?"

"Make cards."  He enlarged one and made it float in the middle of the area.  "There, a sample.  Some may have some.  The new cards are in the middle of the table.  The faster we get done, the faster they get hooked into the magic by staying here for a full day and the faster you can borrow."  They settled down to take a box and work on it while the elves took the kids back to the other house to play with them.  The aunts always liked children and they would like the unicorns.

***

Harry walked into the library three days later, coughing loudly in the quiet room.  "The headmaster would like his Charms, Defense, Runes, and Potions professors back before he's forced to declare you dead and find a replacement," he announced. "Greg, Lindsey called after speaking to her mother and your boss.  Her mother thinks you had a suspicious accident as well.  They'd like you to appear at work on time tonight so they can make sure you're alive."

Greg got up with a groan and nudged the others.  "We've got to go back to real life," he complained.  Draco glared at him.  "You've only got one vault's worth left."

"And the shelves are already full!" he complained, pointing at the lack of space.

"Use some free-standing bookcases to create reading nooks," Philip suggested as he stood up and stretched.  "Thank you, Harry."

"Welcome, Philip.  By the way, Nick called and said to kick your ass since you missed the Hufflepuff/Slytherin game."

"Who won?" Draco asked.

"Dawn.  She killed your house's seeker.  Almost literally."  He smiled.  "He was trying to run her over so she dodged, did a very nice Wronski feint from what I was told, and he ran into the ground.  Madam Pomfrey had to send him on for treatment."  Draco snickered at that.  "Greg, your boss wanted you to bring him back something to prove it was time well wasted."

Greg snorted and picked up his pile. "I'll send them back soon, Alex."  He got a grunt and a snore.  He snuck off, leaving his wife to sleep on top of the book she had been working on.  Methos and Philip walked out with theirs and Severus took two with him as well.  Professor Flitwick floated out a small stack on Egyptian curses and charms. Everyone else went back to sleep.  Greg appeared at the station in the locker room, smiling at his boss since he had just jumped.  He put down his stack and handed over the top six then headed for his lab with the rest.  "You have a week, Griss," he called as he walked. Nick looked at him and whimpered.  "Alex unpacked the books he had in storage.  He had to double his old library.  We cataloged over sixty thousand books between us."  He walked into the chem/DNA lab and dropped his stack onto his desk, making Hodges come over to look.  "Alex just doubled his library."

"He has books?"

"He has a ten story library filled with books and he just doubled the base square footage.  We unpacked about sixty thousand more books over the last few days."  He smiled at him and patted his stack.  "Healing potions and alchemy.  Plus one for you.  You can't have it long," he offered, digging it out.  He handed it over with a grin.  "Alex is picky about his books."

"I'll treat it well."  He went back to his lab to read while he waited on the tests he was running to finish.  "Someone did the beginning work on how potions and chemistry are related," he said happily.  He could build on this!

Warrick walked in a few hours later, watching the book be read by the pages turning themselves while Greg worked on something. "Hopefully you're paying attention to the samples?"

"I am," he said, handing back the reports he needed.  "For you."

"What was it?"  He looked at it.  "Elm sap?"  Greg looked and nodded.  "It wasn't a wood sample, Greg."

Greg found his marked sample and handed over the bottle that contained the sample.  "Run it yourself if you don't believe me. It was Elm tree sap."  He got back to work on his present sample, then went back to reading once it started to process.

Warrick ran his sample, finding it was what the first one said.  He sighed and walked off.  It didn't make sense in the least. His victim lived in a steel, glass, and aluminum modern house.  No wood anywhere and no recent visitors that could be documented.  He heard Hodges cackle and stuck his head in that lab.  "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, someone figured out something I've been trying to work on for the last year and now I can build on it," he said happily.  "It saves me a lot of work for the harder problems and thoughts.  Which are, of course, more suited to my brilliance."  He held up a piece of paper.  "On your wood sample."

"What wood sample?"

"From the body, Warrick. Did Greg obliviate you again?"

Warrick snatched it and walked off, going to check his notes.  He didn't remember any wood sample. Maybe Greg had magiced his mind again.  He found it in his notes and sighed, shaking his head as he went to ask the doctor if the victim could've been allergic to elm.

***

Philip looked up as someone tapped on his door, smiling at the usual teacher.  "Back already?" he asked quietly.  "They're having a test."  The teacher walked in and put his bag down, leading him back to the office. "You're back early."

"I got summoned.  A friend in the Ministry said there's about to be a shakeup and they needed you free for something else."  He shrugged.  "What's going on?"  Philip handed over the official notice of his summons. "Why?  He's always been good."

"Alex Dumass was deaged *after* Harry was orphaned," he said quietly.  The man looked horrified.  "That and some other things that've come out.  It's been a strange few years, old friend."

"Where was the woman I chose to replace me?"

"She irritated everyone, especially Dumass when he had to come back for a year. She was using Budge and getting him extremely wrong while she worked out some intermediary language.  All the students were going to fail their tests so I got asked to come.  For Thinial I've been using the base language skills and some of the books from the bank."

"Interesting.  So, I take it Dumass is officially back?"

"He was here to protect his nephew and his new spouse, Draco Malfoy."  The teacher burst out in giggles. "Who's a consort veela.  Alex's."  He smiled.  "Excuse the mess, we were helping Alex shelve the stuff he had in storage and I picked up a few books I wanted to read and translate."

"Not a problem.  Are you in my rooms?"  He shook his head.  "Then I'm going up there.  I'll sit in the rest of this week and get a good feel for where they are so you're free for whatever reason.  If that's okay?"

"They're your students," Philip assured him with a smile.  "I'm only the substitute.  Not that I haven't enjoyed it, they're mostly good kids and Miss Granger is still very persistent whenever I see her."

"Yes, that was one of the reasons I left when I did.  So I could miss her last year."  That got another smile.  "Go back to the test, Philip.  We can chat tonight."  Philip nodded and he went to get a copy and take it with him so he could unpack.

Later that night, at dinner, the Ministry's representative showed up to make an announcement.  He coughed and nodded at McGonagall, who tapped her glass.  "Students, attention please," he called.  Everyone stared at him. "It is my sad duty to note that Headmaster Dumbledore will be retiring as of the end of this school year," he announced. "We at the Ministry have been looking long and hard for a replacement and it has come down to two teachers, both of whom are here at this moment in time."  He smiled at the teachers.  "As the present structure has stated that they are happy in their current positions and rolls, we have had to look outside the normal few who'd usually take over for him."  He saw the shocked looks.  So he turned around, still smiling.  "It is my pleasure to announce that the new Headmaster of Hogwarts will be none other than Philip Callahan.  His new Deputy will be Professor Methos."  That got a small clap and Dawn cheered loudly, prompting more of them. They were fair, if a bit grumpy, teachers.  He smiled at Professor Snape.  "One of the reasons they were chosen is that they will not play house politics and will be fair to all houses. We at the Ministry feel that this fairness is needed at Hogwarts and that the school will benefit with it."  He clapped his hands.

Dawn stood up.  "It takes effect at the *end* of the school year?"  He nodded.  "Then should we be planning a celebration?"

"We should," he agreed happily.  "That's a very good idea, young lady.  I know the Hufflepuffs among you always enjoy a good party."  She beamed happily.  He turned back to the two teachers, who were missing now.  "I'm sure they've went to arrange that and let their friends know."  He smiled at the headmaster and McGonagall again.  "I do hope that the teachers of Hogwarts can work with the new headmaster."

"I'm sure we can," she agreed, realizing why he had been passed over.

He smiled and bowed.  "I'll see you at the celebration."  He left, heading back to report his duty was done.  Even if the two teachers were making a run for it.  They'd be found by someone soon.  He did stop to call Alex Dumass on the way.  Their friends would turn them in.

***

Greg walked into his house and slammed his door.  "Emilia?" he called.

"Upstairs, Philip's sick!"

"Yeah, that's because he's the new Headmaster.  He's wanted back at the school tonight!"  He walked into the kitchen, smiling at the elves.  "Can I have some food?"  Night handed him a plate straight out of the microwave.  "Thank you, guys.  Everything okay while we were gone, Night?"  He nodded.  "Good.  Any other news?"

"A few messages wondering where you were," he offered.  "Your boss.  Brass."  Greg nodded.  "Do they need more elves?  There were many elves at the shelter."

"They're thinking about a library elf," he admitted. "They're still arguing about it."  He grinned and went to eat, smiling at his baby girl, who snuck up onto the couch to cuddle against him.  "Not helping Uncle Philip feel better, Cassandra?"  She smiled and shook her head.  "That's okay.  I could use baby cuddles."  He gave her a hug.  "Help daddy eat, 'San."

"I'm a big girl."

"I noticed you're growing up."

"I went pee pee."

"Good job!" he praised, letting her have some of his dinner as a treat.  She smiled and hugged him.  "Would you like to help me in the lab the next time we teach Uncle David his next potion?"  She beamed and nodded.  "You're so cool!" he praised.  She just beamed happily.  "This summer, Uncle Sev's coming over for a long visit.  You can help him too."  She wiggled at that, she loved working with him.  "Lindsey will be back then too."

"Cool."  She beamed at her mother when she came down.  "Daddy said I could help Uncle David in the lab, mommy."

"You deserve the treat," she promised, kissing her on the head then her mate.  "He's freaked out.  I've already gotten him straightened out and taking a nap."  She sat on his other side.  "The boys are in the continuously napping phase.  It's been quiet since we got back.   No books?"

"I sent half of them back after I made notes," he offered, grinning at her.  "The rest are locked in my desk so the kids don't demand I read to them from them.  They really aren't ready for magical contraception and disease protection."

"Good point."  She smiled at their daughter. "You were so good."

"Fank you," she said happily.  "Can I call Uncle Sev?"

He checked his watch.  "Sure, he should still be up."  She wiggled down and went to the fireplace to call while her parents finished daddy's dinner. She didn't know why but they were always cuddling together and sharing their dinners.  She smiled at her uncle.  "Me not wake you?"

"No, you didn't wake me. I was sitting down reading.  Is there a problem?"

"I went pee pee," she said proudly.

"That's a very important step," he agreed, sounding the slightest bit amused.  "Are your parents hiding?"

She shifted closer.  "No, daddy and mommy cuddle and eat his dinner.  I not know why they cuddle and eat off same plate but they do it lots.  When you coming over?  Daddy say I can help you in the lab while you're here."

"This summer, Cassandra.  When it gets very hot again."  She pouted.  "Perhaps sooner if I could manage it, but this summer definitely," he promised.  She beamed and wiggled again.  "You should be in bed."

"Nope!"  She shook her head hard enough for the hair to whip her.  "I'm a good big girl so I get to stay up.  Big girls get to go to bed later."  He nodded, smiling at her again.  "Can we come see you again?  I miss the castle."

"Not this summer.  Perhaps next year."

"Or perhaps this easter since we're going to be doing something in the library," Greg called.  Severus smiled at him and he smirked back.  "I've got to integrate it with what I was already doing.  Those books are in the school's library and I'm sure Madam Pince won't mind...much."  He put down his plate and pulled his wife into his lap.  "How's Holly?"

"Mad that I disappeared for three days without warning."

Emilia laughed.  "She knew where you were, Sev, she wants to be spoiled."  He raised an eyebrow.  "It's a blatant, womanly way of asking for affection and attention."

"I see.  Shouldn't you come with Magical Creature labels?  Since your care and feeding are so complicated?"

"Many men think so," she said wisely.  "Say good night, Cassandra."

"Nighty, Uncle Sevvie!"  She waved and turned off the floo like her daddy had taught her.  Then she ran back and climbed up into the joint lap.  She smiled at them, just the most smug little smirk.  "We should go visit."

"We should," Greg agreed.  "We'll go during the holidays."  She beamed and he patted her on the back. "You should be in bed."

She spit, then giggled. "Not sleepy."

"If you get a book, we'll read," he offered.  She ran to get a book and he got to kiss his wife again.  "Once she's down, you're going to let me go down, right?" he asked in his most teasing voice.  She purred and nodded, letting him do whatever he wanted.  She enjoyed it when he got creative. Their daughter ran back with her favorite book and climbed back up them, settling in to let them read to her.  It didn't take long, it never did when they read Shakespeare.  The future was bright, smart, and cuddly, even if she was a dragon when upset.  Their kids would make excellent Banes.  Someday.

Amusing Challenges

Alex Dumass looked up as the goblin appeared in front of him, grimacing a bit.  "What?" he asked.  He went back to his book.  "It had better be good."

"It is, I need you to intervene with some of your friends."

"Why?"

"Because it's necessary," the goblin said dryly.  "We have an artifact that's gone missing.  It's in the hands of the police.  It's fairly dangerous."  It handed over the scroll from his pocket.  "We need it gotten and on the second page is a contact one of your friends, particularly Mr. Sanders, can contact to get to it before it starts to harm people.  His sister's one of you."

"Joy.  I'll talk to Greg later."  The goblin nodded and disappeared again.  He touched his tatoo, then called when he didn't get an answer.  "Greg, I just got a goblin call about an artifact in police custody.  They suggested I use you to contact someone and then you go to the cops who have it."  He smirked at the disgruntled noises.  "Yeah, well, they said it was dangerous. So I need some time soon, Greggy.  Pwease?"  He grinned.  "Sure, I'll read to your heathen brats. Thanks. Call when you're ready for me."  He hung up and went back to his book.  There were only a few things it could be, otherwise they would've went to one of the curse breakers who had a direct connection back to the police department system.  After all, they had one guy who had a wacky brother who was an obsessive inspector and he knew.  So therefore it had to be something really nasty, something that had been collected by someone, and it was probably in one of three languages.  Which narrowed it down to six things.  He glanced at the scroll and nodded.  Yup, he was right.  He got back to his fun reading until Greg was ready for him.

***

Greg looked at the notice then groaned at the name. "I know him."  He shook his head.  "Griss knows his boss.  Wonderful."  He looked at Alex.  "You wanna come?"

"No, but I have to go to take control of the stupid thing.  Notice it says do not destroy or else. If they'd be willing to lock it in a safe forever and ever, I could accept that."  He handed over a set of keys.  "The apartment there."

"You have an apartment in New York?"

"Yeah, I used to spend a lot of time in Times Square before they cleaned it up, Greg."  He took his hand and disappeared with him.  They landed in his condo and he rolled his eyes, doing the cleaning spell.  "There, better."  He looked at him.  "You're the expert here, do whatever you need ta do, Greg."  He headed for the bedroom.  "Who in the hell has been here?"  He called downstairs.  "This is Harris.  Who in the hell was in my condo?"  He listened.  "Fine, and I want him taken off the payroll.  Gee, I don't know. It couldn't be the dried semen on my sheets perhaps."  The man on the other end groaned and hung up.  He stripped off the bed and remade it with magic, then went back into the other room.  Greg was on the phone.  He pulled his wand again and wrote 'invite him over if you have to' in the air.

Greg nodded and offered that.  He finally hung up.  "What happened?"

"Someone had sex on my bed and left really nasty sheets."  He shrugged and headed for the kitchen, finding no food.  "Well, looks like takeout."  He looked back. "I'm in the mood for Polynesian.  It's what I seem to end up having whenever I'm in town."

"Sounds good to me," Greg agreed, sitting down.  "I'll wait. He said about a half hour."

"Decent."  He grabbed his wallet and headed out.  By the time he got back, the guy who had sex on his bed was fired and the detective was in his apartment.  He walked in and nodded.  "I got you steamed stuff so your wife doesn't complain, Greg."  He looked at the detective.  "Hi.  Alex Dumass."

"I've heard of you," he admitted dryly.  "Why are you and Greggy here ganging up on me?"  Xander found the scroll and handed it over, then got down plates for them.  He took his plate as he read it.  "I can believe in magic thanks to my sister, but not this stuff."  Xander took off his shirt and undid the hiding charms he used on his scars.  "What the fuck?" he asked, looking closer.

"I lived in Sunnydale."

"Yeah, I heard about that place," he admitted, then he looked at the scroll again.  He looked at him.  "So, why did they send you and Greg?"

"Because for some reason I make cops nervous," Alex said dryly. He grinned then started to eat. "The ones in Vegas get very nervous when they see me."

"That's because every time we see you, something's going on.  Dragons, walking mummies, attacks, hostage situations," Greg said dryly.  "We love you but really, Alex."

Alex smirked.  "Hey, I get paid to handle problems.  Hence me being sent here."  He ate another bite and looked at the detective again.  "So, Detective Flack, how can we do this legally and not get anyone in trouble or release it?"

"I don't know yet," he admitted.  "I've got to think about this and talk to someone."

"It works for me," Xander admitted.  "But until then it can't be destroyed and shouldn't be touched unless you want me to have to show up and save asses.  Because I have to handle that if it does happen since it's my assignment."

"Sure, I get that," he agreed, smirking at him.  "Hell, if I knew another guy who knew about this stuff I'd ask."

"I don't know any other cops who're wizards," Greg admitted.

"I knew one but he's dead," Don said dryly.  "Down in Miami.  We've worked with them a few times and I saw Speed's wand."

Xander looked at him, then smirked.  "I know someone in Miami and he is a cop.  I'm not sure if he knew Speed though."  Don looked at him and he winked.  "I'll get the guy up here.  He went to an American school."

"That could help.  Does anyone at your work know, Greg?"

"Most of them.  We had a death eater attack there," Greg sighed, taking a bite of his dinner.  "I told Gris after our reunion but it's still well-known."  He looked at Xander. "Who?"  He got a head shake.  "You can tell me."

"I can't.  He told me I can't.  He's trying to be muggle."  He finished his dinner and stood up.  "You can stay and talk, Detective Flack.  I'll be back soon."  He disappeared with a small pop.

"He's such a showoff," Greg complained. "Deaged and all that stuff."  He ate another bite. "So, your sister?"

"Yeah, she went locally," he admitted with a grin.  "Shocked the hell outta us.  She hardly ever uses it these days but she's a witch."

Greg grinned. "I'm sponsoring Catherine's daughter to Canada.  She didn't like the New York school and the Chicago school was crap at that time.  They've been working on reforming it."

"Wonderful.  She used ta complain about the attitude problem a lot.  Where did you go?  I never even suspected you, Greg."

"Hogwarts," he said with a grin.  "Our school imploded and I got offered there instead.  Now it's a pre-military training ground.  They went and tried that with Chicago and Alex helped make them implode.  You might wanna watch it if he has to deal with this thing.  He's a curse breaker and they bring chaos and trouble with them wherever they go.  It's how they find each other.  His apprentice found a dragon in Rio and had the hatchling follow him around.  Ron and Harry are *horrible* about attracting trouble."

"Harry's real?" Don asked, beaming at him. "I thought it should be with how detailed it was.  So you went there?"  Greg beamed and nodded.  "Wow.  Does he know about those books?"

"Yeah and he hates 'em.  He's suing the idiot who changed himself into the woman writing them.  Fair warning, from fifth year things get different.  Alex showed up and we had the reunion."  Don nodded.  "Also, Draco's not exactly the little shit he was.  I had to help, Emilia had to help, and then Alex took his little consort veela in and fucked him stupid a few times.  So now he's snarly but he's more polite and Alex is keeping him busy and sore."

"Man!" he complained.  "What did the twins end up doing?"

"Dating Tipsy Ramvette and having kids along with their joke shop," he said with a smirk.  "It's all family to us, man.  There's a group of friends known as Banes.  Harry, Ron, Draco, and Alex are the younger generation but the older one have Tipsy and her twins.  Me and my wife Emilia.  Severus.  Professor Methos."

"The Highlander guy?"

Greg nodded, smirking at him.  "Yup, the highlander guy.  He's our new and semi- permanent defense teacher.  Philip Callahan is the new headmaster when they removed Dumbledore for how he treated Harry and things."

"That's so cool!"  He shifted slightly closer.  "Do you know anyone I can date?  I know I sound like a groupie but it's just so neat.  She used to give me the most disgusted look."

Greg grinned.  "It's okay, I understand.  I see plenty of them every few weeks.  Some of my coworkers are really involved.  I've got a totally muggle coworker who wanted to learn Potions so he could find the link between that and chemistry."  Don beamed at that.  He looked at him and pulled his wand.  "Don, are you sure you're not?"

"My dad asked to make sure.  He didn't really like my sister after she came out.  They said I wasn't."

Greg cast a charm and looked at him.  "They're wrong, Don.  And people who aren't trained have accidents and often get a lot more sick."  Don's face fell.  "We need ta get you checked, man.  Just in case.  Even if you're basically a squib, it's still better to know."

"Who would do it officially?"

Greg smirked.  "Professor Callahan since he's the headmaster."  He touched the tatoo on his arm, nodding finally.  "Give us a few minutes to get him here.  He's in a staff meeting."  Xander reappeared with a man he vaguely knew.  "Hey, Horatio," he said smirking at him.  "You're one of us?"

"I am," he admitted.  He looked at Greg.  "You are?"

"The Wizard of Blood, man."

"Oh."  He smirked.  "Interesting."  He looked at Xander, then at Don.  "What's going on?"  Don handed over the scroll.  "I see."  He looked at Xander.  "I'm here to consult?"

"Of course and I'll help you break that stupid ass shield you've been trying to get for the last year.  Not an issue.  You should've asked, Horatio.  I would've passed it back.  The Gringotts conglomerate doesn't like drugs.  We curse breakers do stuff like that a lot."

"Small issue," Greg put in.  "Don's not a muggle.  The idiots in New York misdiagnosed."

"Really?"  Xander pulled his primary wand and cast a charm over Don, making him shiver.  "You're right, Greg."  He grinned at him.  "We can handle that too, Detective.  After all, I've got to teach advanced charms and defense."  He sat down and looked at Horatio.  "Come sit and eat, studly.  There's extra."  Horatio smirked and came over to sit down.  "Don's sister was one of us."

"I went to the school here in the city as well," Horatio told him.

"How did you meet someone like Alex Dumass?"

"Xander?" he asked, nodding at the kid.  "After he got deaged.  He was a royal, bouncy brat in town to look at something for his slayer."

"Wow."  He looked at Xander.  "You work with a slayer?"  Xander nodded.  "Presently?"

"Former.  Buffy.  They didn't like me being a wizard.  I wasn't as good of a whipping boy."  He heard the pop and looked at Philip.  "Hey, boss."

"Don't call me that," he said in a soft lilt.  He cast the same charm over Don.  "He's not terribly strong but he's not a squib," he decided.  "So we'll have to set him up with remedial lessons so he doesn't get hurt."  He walked around, smiling at him. "I know there's an academy in town."

"Stupid people," Xander said dryly.  "They're the ones who kept trying to 'finite' the seventy foot tall demon."

"It happens," he admitted.  "The other choice is a personal tutor."

"And I'm still teaching the boys and it's not that hard," he pointed out.  "And hey, it'd give someone else for the group to fuss over."

"You mean I can really meet Harry Potter?" Don asked.

"He's one of my apprentices," Xander said with a smirk. "Him and Ron.  Ron's engaged to Buffy's sister, who I adopted when she died. And I'm married to Draco."

"Yeah, never mention his former family in front of him," Greg ordered.  "It leads to punching and he needs work on that."

"Greggy, I don't care that Draco can't punch someone out. I keep him around for his brains and his prettiness.  My veela is very pretty."

"And very much a slut," Philip complained.  "Used ta make Slytherin complain with the noise," he explained at the shocked look.  Horatio chuckled quietly. "What's up?"  The scroll was handed over.  He snorted and handed it back.  "I'm surprised he hasn't stolen it."

"I didn't want to keep someone from a cell," Xander told him, getting comfortable.  "Dinner, Philip?"

"No, thanks.  The house elves have been spoiling me rotten again."  He looked at Don.  "Are you sure there's no others in the department?"

"Not that I've had a hint about," Don admitted, looking at Horatio.  "Did you catch anyone?"

"No, and Mac wouldn't believe even with proof," he admitted.

"I gave Brass bunny ears to prove it to him," Greg offered with a grin.  "I made a bench into taffy for Gris."  He finished his dinner and put his plate aside.  "You should come out, Horatio.  I'm holding a sanctuary and my kids are going to be kick-ass CSIs or potions masters."  That got a gentle smile.  "They're already helping me in the lab and helping me teach David Hodges potions."

"Interesting."  He looked at Don again.  "We can give you something to tell, Don.  It'll light up when you get near someone with a wand or a taint."  Xander nodded, he could make one of those. "Is that part of a present case?"

"Yeah, it is. A guy was carrying it when he got killed."  He scratched the back of his neck.  "Can I go see Hogwarts?"

"Sure, when I bring you over we'll have to pick up Dawn for a weekend," Xander promised with a grin. "She got a late start and managed to catch up."

"Is Severus really that cranky?"  Everyone in the room nodded. "You know Snape, Horatio?"

"There was a potion's convention in Miami a few years back.  I ended up meeting him by accident and didn't like him then."

"Sev takes some getting used to," Greg agreed.  "I was his apprentice and it took me almost a year."  Don gaped so he grinned. "Yeah, I was a Slytherin.  He was the year ahead of us.  He's Alex's son."  Xander nodded.  "He's got his father's cranky nature."

"Only when I don't get enough sex," Xander said blandly.

"You mean you let Draco sleep?" he teased.

"Yeah, every now and then he puts me in a full body bind so he's left alone," he joked dryly.  "You know my boy loves me.  It's a good thing I got deaged or else it'd be really odd with me being my actual age with the hot eighteen-year-old."  Horatio smiled at that.  "Just don't mention the Malfoy name around him."

"Of course not.  I'm sure you've made him better than his father."

"Oh, much better and my consort veela spouse helped," Greg said proudly.  He pulled out his wallet to show them a picture.  "That's my Emilia and our kids.  The boys are twins."

Don smiled at that. "You're damn lucky to have them, Sanders."  He handed it back.  "Damn lucky."

"I know. I waited nearly forever for my lady."  Alex and Philip nodded at that.  "So, let's talk about how and where the artifact is.  If it's not being looked over by your CSI team, it would be okay for now, but if one tries to open it, I'm betting Alex is going to have to go in."  Alex nodded at that.  "Have they tried to open it?" he asked Don.

"Not a clue," he admitted.  "I know they dusted it for fingerprints and scanned it to see if they could figure out what it was to identify the period and who made it, the antique stuff."  Horatio nodded, that was standard protocol.  "If it was opened or not?  Not a clue.  How would we know?"

"Ball of smoke," Xander told him.  "Sudden personality changes."

"I haven't seen any."

"Then we may be in time," Horatio noted.  "I'll come in with you tomorrow if you think it'll help."

"I'm not sure it will or not," Don admitted.  "I might need the backup for that stuff."

"Can we say it's a priceless paranormal artifact with something supposedly trapped and it needs to be picked up by a collector?" Xander asked.  "I've had to use that before and even if you don't believe most cops don't want it sitting around their labs with weirdos trying for it."

"Mac would kill anyone who came up ta him with that story," Don assured him with a smirk.  "Go rest, kid, let us cops handle this part and then you can have it."  Xander nodded and got up to go into his bedroom.  "He was in my sister's history book."

"Ours too," Greg admitted with a grin. "He should be about ninety but he's back to twenty and pretty."

"With a very pretty lover I bet," Don said smugly.

"He's never had that problem.  He slept with half the world, Don."

"Only a quarter," Xander called.

"Yeah, right," he called back.  "Have tattoo sex with Draco, Alex.  Amuse the Prof and Tipsy."  He looked at him again.  "His little black books are phone books arranged by year.  Full city phone books arranged by years."  Don gaped at that so he sighed and nodded.  "He slept around a lot and he never went back to the same well twice.  He wears Draco out.  A lot."

"Wow," Don said, shaking his head.  "Was it a spell or a curse?"

"No, just his nature," Horatio said dryly.   "We've all heard rumors."  Greg sighed and nodded.  "Seen more than you should?" he teased.

"Much.  He and Draco like to pounce each other if it's been more than a day.  So the whole group saw it during dinner a few times, plus near my pool, and a few other places."  He smirked. "Ya know, one of these days I'm going to have to leave Vegas since we age slower," Greg admitted.  Don blinked.  "Yeah, we age slower," he told him.  "We live longer too.  It's the magic, and when it's backed up and unreleased, like yours, you get really badly sick, like cancer sick."  Don shuddered.  "So we're going to get you trained. Then you too can live to be over a hundred and having fun."

"How old is Dumbledore?" Don asked.

"A hundred and fifty-five that he admits to," Greg said dryly.  "We think he's fudged a few years in there when he was younger.  They're expecting Alex to fully live out his second life to near that age.  And hey, some wizards live to be two and three hundred years, even without elixir of life."  He shifted some.  "It's kinda nice but I'm going to have to move some year soon."

"If we have a spot open, you can apply with us," Horatio agreed.  "Or New York. Since there's a school locally there's got to be more people who know."

"There should be," Greg agreed.  "That's why I think we've got to figure out who.  Just so we have some backup while we're teaching Don.  I figure most of the Banes will want to help.  They think Alex is sweet and darling most of the time and I'm helping with Lindsay, Cat's daughter.  She's in Canada," he said proudly.  Horatio smiled at that.  "She's doing really good.  I'm very impressed with her.  Her and Dawn Summers both started a bit late but they're fully caught up.  Plus Dawn plays beater."

"That's right, I'll get to watch Quidditch," Don said happily.

Greg grinned.  "You will.  So, charm and then letting the ones who know know?"

"That would be the best place to start and it would make sure that no one tries to accidentally open it," Horatio agreed. "If Aiden was still there, I have the feeling she knew."

"Aiden?" Greg asked, considering it.  "Mouthy brat of a female?  Hung on Danny during that convention?  Her?"  Don nodded.  "Yeah, she's teaching Potions at Chicago.  Got hit in the head the other day with an exploding cauldron.  I've been subbing long distance for her."  Don gaped and he grinned. "She's not bad, but she's not great.  Is Calleigh?"  Horatio shook his head.  "See, now I would've pegged her."

"No, and she doesn't believe either," Horatio said dryly.  "Speed was?"  Don nodded.  "Then why didn't he survive the shooting?"

"He didn't have his wand on him and if his magic was low at that point, even an instinctive shield wouldn't have been that strong," Xander said from the doorway.  He handed Don a piece of braided yarn.  "The telling charm."  He looked at Horatio.  "Did anyone get his things?"  He shook his head.  "Look, see what he was doing last, man.  I'm guessing something was making his magic low if he died that way."  Horatio nodded. "I'm going to nap.  Night all."  He went back to bed.

"Do you guys feel like you've just talked to a definitive source?" Don asked.

"Only about some things," Greg noted dryly, smirking at him.  "But he's got a huge library.  Ten stories and thousands of books.  Every book he finds, he has copied in the original language and then has a translation made."  Horatio moaned.  "Yeah, and they're mostly at the castle in Scotland. It's a very pure magic spot, Horatio.  It feels great to be there but it's so easy to get lost."  Philip came out of the kitchen with a laugh.  "You used to deal with the unholy and nasty.  Any of your friends locally looking this way?"

"No," he admitted quietly, sitting down.  "No one in the Luna Foundation knows it's here."  He took a bite of dinner.  "Sorry, Lieutenant."

"Not a problem, Father Philip.  What are you doing now?"

"Headmaster at Hogwarts.  They took Dumbledore out for playing with Potter's life."  He ate another bite and looked at Don.  "You noticed how he was 'protecting' the boy by using mental coercion?"  Don nodded, he had realized that in the books.  "It got him fired.  McGonagall's still in her spot but not second anymore.  That's now Professor Methos."

"Would you kindly ask him to have Duncan removed from my city?" Horatio asked.  "He's annoying and we keep running into him.  He's making Delko paranoid."

"I'll try," Philip agreed dryly, "but Methos doesn't want him around the school either."

"Just don't send him to Vegas.  I can't imagine Brass or Grissom dealing with him."

"From what I saw on the tv show, we don't want 'im either," Don admitted.  "Send him back to Paris."

"It'd serve Beaubaxton's right," Philip agreed happily.

"That's mean, Philip," Greg teased.  The former priest gave him a look so he smirked.  "It is."

"So?  One'a the tarts wanted to come in so she could seduce Ron away from his girl.  Put it on her application."  He ate another bite.  "I had to write the nice letter pointing out he had graduated and they were very close, that nothing was going to tear them apart or else Dawn would destroy the world.  She wasn't happy and filed a complaint with the Ministry, which got Arthur to send Percy to jump on her about it."  He ate another bite then smirked once he swallowed since they were gaping. "Percy's healing after his girlfriend was shot in front of him by aurors," he told the other two.  "That's one reason why Fudge left.  With prejudice."  Don beamed at that.

"He was worse than the books," Greg assured him.  "Much worse than the books."

***

Don walked into the precinct the next morning, looking at the little piece of braided yarn.  It lit up a few times and he noted the patrol officers.  One looked at him and winced.  He shrugged.  "I got a visit last night," he explained quietly.  "My sister went locally."  That got a nod.  "I've gotta find someone upstairs."  He headed that way.  He got a weak glow at Stella.  That didn't really surprise him but he'd have to see who else got it.  He made the thing glow weakly until Greg had tweaked the charm for him.  He came off the elevator to the next floor up and suddenly it flashed really brightly.  He looked up and locked eyes with Mac, who raised an eyebrow. "Really?"   He put it away.  He'd test it later when they were out at scenes.

"Who gave you that?"

"Dumass."

"The author?"

"The guy who goes and raids tombs."  Mac gaped and he took his arm, walking him off.  He handed over the scroll.  "Alex Dumass got sent to collect this thing," he said quietly.  "By the way, did you know Stella sets that off a little bit?  The same way I do?"

"It's not unheard of in families," he admitted.  He looked at him.  "You are?"

"Apparently.  The school didn't think so but Greg Sanders found it last night."

"Greg?  Nerdy, DNA tech Greg?  From Vegas?" he demanded.  Don smirked and nodded.  "He can't be!"

"He's the Wizard of Blood, or that's what he called himself when he introduced himself formally."

"He's an alchemist?" he hissed.

"He is?  I knew he was Snape's personal apprentice," he said quietly, glancing around.  He saw Danny and wondered, pulling out the yarn to look at it, then at him.  He motioned him closer.  Danny shook his head.  "Now, Messer."  He trudged over and he held it up, making him wince.  "Something you wanna share?"

"Yeah, I think it's cute you read the books," he offered with a bright grin.  "What's up?"  Mac handed him the scroll and he snorted, handing it back.  "Wonderful.  We're doing what?"

"For right now, locking it up," Don told him.  "He said it can open and release the whatever.  So you guys done with it?"

"Mostly," Danny admitted. "Stella had it earlier."  He looked at Mac, who shrugged and went back to reading.  "Really?"

"Really," he agreed dryly.  "Don, if you are, then you've got to be taught."

"Greg and Alex said they could handle that."

"Good, because I'm going to be riding your ass until you're skilled enough to help yourself."  They shared a look.  "I don't use mine usually."

"I haven't since I left my family," Danny admitted quietly.  Mac glared at him.  "What?"

"You're a pureblood?"

"Back to the time when we were all Italian, why?" he demanded, scowling at him. "That bother you too?"

"No," he said calmly.  "I just didn't realize it, Danny."

"Yeah, well, up yours," he said dryly, looking at Flack.  "I can help with the exercises.  I need ta start doin' 'em again."  He grinned. "Any other shocks?"

"Stella reads like me to the yarn?" he offered.  "I met a living legend who got deaged to twenty and he's sleeping with a consort veela?"  He shrugged and grinned.  "Alex seems pretty nice.  Ho...the other guy we brought in for advice said he knew him by his name that he got hidden under."

"Xander Harris?" Mac asked dryly.  "I ran into him once.  More than enough for me.  Danny, go get this, take personal possession of anything to do with it.  Lock it in the safe.  I need to know if this guy was related this way."  Danny nodded, heading off.  He looked at Don.  "You all right?"

"Yeah, I'm more than happy.  Greg said he'd take me to get books and lesson stuff.  Maybe even to Oll....  Um, get the pointy thing," he offered with a grin.  "Oh, someone named Philip Callahan took over at that school."

"I remember Philip," he agreed smugly. "He'd do good."  He walked off.  "Go back to work, Don.  Let us handle this."

"Sure, but I wanna know.  I've got his addy locally if you need it."  Mac just nodded, continuing to walk.  "Wow."  He went back to his desk, very happy with the world.

***

Xander tipped his head back as his door was knocked on. "Open!" he called.  Someone came in and he smirked at him.  "Mac Taylor."

"Mr. Harris.  Or should I say Dumass this time?"  He closed the door behind him.

"You should.  I'm back to my actual life now."  He shifted to look at him.  "I didn't realize you were the same one Flack was talking about."  That got a nod.  "Is it still intact?"

"It is," he admitted.  "It's also locked in a safe.  We need to know if the guy was a wizard or just a crank collecting."

"He could be one of the nature side people or even a chaos person.  They do exist and don't have schools.  I'd have to look at the body to tell that."   The file was handed over and he looked at it.  "I don't recognize him so he's probably not in my field or in Gringotts, but I can send it on to do a check."  He got up and went to the fax machine, sending it to his contact.  A few minutes later he got back a note the same way.  He handed them both over.  "He was a chaos sorcerer.  So he was either hiding and protecting that or he was planning on using it."  He sat down again, looking at him.  "It's important that we get it locked into special storage."

"Could it be why someone killed him?"

Xander shrugged.  "Not a clue.  That's not my field.  I break curses and raid places.  Speaking of, I had to break one in Miami.  The drug dealers down there are using a wizard to create unplottable and unfindable locations for their local stashes and things."

"I'll keep that in mind and call the bank if we find one. I'm sure you guys still do that."

"Yup, usually the guys on injury leave. It keeps us from being bored."  That got a smirk.  "Hey, I'm a bad bored person.  My spouse complains when I'm that bored.  Usually of being *sore*, but still complains."

"Don mentioned that you found a new veela."

"Draco Malfoy.  Emilia Dorekson's cousin through his mother."  Mac moaned.  "Emilia's Greg's wife and they've got three kids. He's the sanctuary in Vegas for our group.  Oh, Grissom and most of them know about him."

"Why?"

"Death Eater attack in the station.  He said he gave Jim Brass bunny ears."  Mac burst out laughing and he beamed.  "Yeah, I wanted pictures of that too."  He smirked at him. "So what can I do to help?"

"I need to go over his personal effects now that we know who he is.  I may need you to come with me to identify things.  I'm sure you can go in as an antique dealer or something."

"Usually," he agreed dryly.  "But I tend to specialize in ancient and unfindable stuff."  He stood up.  "Let me change."

"Thank you.  By the way, we found someone else who reads like Don does."  Xander stopped moving and turned to look at him.  "I'm not sure if she is or not.  She's an orphan."

"I'll have her lines traced.  She'll have to be taught."

"Good."  Xander went into his bedroom, going to change into something more respectable.  He came out in a fashionable suit and his hair fixed.  "We don't see too many cases locally."

"Like Vegas, you've got a group hiding it here.  The Military was trying to take over the local school like they did Chicago's," he admitted, following him out and relocking the door.  "We had to handle an attempted assault to get Catherine's daughter out there.  They weren't even taking the mandatories."  He shrugged.  "No Ministry over that here."

"True," he agreed.  "It's nicer though.  No one staring over your shoulder."

"It is but it's also causing problems.  Someone found out a few years back high enough up that it became a hunt.  Greg got the vision and it was horrible there for a bit."

"I heard," he admitted.  "They tried with me but I reminded them I was already serving my country and they wandered off with a veiled warning about being gathered at a later date."

"Yeah, we know."  He held the door open and they headed to Mac's car.  "Bring her too if she's on the case."

"I've already planned that, and the other guy I just found out about," he admitted as he got in to drive.  Xander settled beside him.  "I didn't know this but we have a pureblood from an Italian line in the office.  Messer?"

"Traces back to the Borgia lines.  The daughter of a mistress," he told him.  "I've run into his cousins a few times in Venice when they did stupid stuff and activated an older cursed statue that picked on the virgin males and the sluts."   Mac groaned. "It was attacking them. I had to get them free of it.  It's another part of the job."  Mac nodded and they took off, heading to the guy's address that the bank gave them.  When they got there, they waited for the others, him nodding at Don Flack.  "This weekend, you free?"

"Very free.  I'm not even on call."  He grinned at him. "Is Greg?"

"He's on Saturday night.  He's moved into the field now," he said with a smile for him.  "Emilia is not a happy camper with it but they're not outright fighting about it at the moment."  He looked at the others coming up, nodding at Danny with a smirk. "I ran into one of your cousins a few years back.  Him and this statue at the school in Venice had these problems with activation."

"Would that be the one my mother said attacked some kids to warn me about doing stupid stuff?" Danny asked.  Xander nodded.  "It figures."  He smirked at him.  "Danny Messer."

"Alex Dumass," he said, shaking his hand.  He looked at the other person, staring at her.  "You look just like your relative I met once."  She looked stunned.  "Grandmother or great grandmother.  She was a charming woman, very nice and sweet.  You look just like her at her age."

"You seem too young to know them."

Xander pulled her closer, weathering her scowl and attempts to get free.  He laid a hand on her cheek and nodded. "You have the family gift, Miss Bonasera."  She looked stunned.  "We'll talk later."  He let her go.

"Oh, no we won't."

"Yes, you will," Mac agreed.  "It's important and about something that can impact your health, Stella."  He looked at Danny.  "Where did you go?"

"Up the street," he admitted.  "My old man refused to send me back home."  He shrugged and followed them inside.  "We sure this is the guy?"

"Gringotts said so," Xander said dryly.  "They had a small dossier on him.  He's a chaos person.  They couldn't be sure if he was planning on using stuff or if he was hiding stuff."  He laid a hand on the door and broke the charms, then walked inside.  "Nice attempt on his part," he admitted.  He sniffed then sneezed.  "Damn."  He headed right for the artifacts he could feel, opening the cabinets behind the fireplace.  Stella gasped.  "This is my job, dear.  It's what I do for a living and have for a very long time."  He picked up one and looked at it.  "I'd hope he was protecting considering most of these have things in them."

"You can't believe that," she complained.

Danny pulled his wand and charmed her to hop around.  "Really?" he asked dryly, stopping it to look at her.  She glared and he shrugged.  "You're one'a us too, Stella."

"And she's probably as pure as your line is, Danny."

"I don't have that hangup."

Xander grinned.  "Me either.  I was an equal opportunity slut the first time I was this age."  He got back to work, then backed up to look at the whole collection. "He was collecting a whole House and a Court. We need to see if he's got any links to the Luna Foundation," he ordered.  "This is usually their thing."

"How...."  She looked at Don.  "You don't believe this, right?"

"My sister was one, Stella, and they just figured out they missed me."

"You were probably a late bloomer so they thought you were a squib.  It happens a lot," Xander complained.  "Usually kids like you are watched to make sure you don't come out when you're still young enough to train.  If you're found at a later date, you're usually told, drained of any buildups for your own health and safety, and giving the most minimal training, then your kids are watched harder."  He looked back at Don, then back at the vases when he heard one shift.  "He's got one with a leak.  Danny, please put up a shield while I find the glue?"  He nodded and did that, having to pull Stella closer.  Xander found a pot of sealant and got to work, weaving the charm around the pot to keep it whole and unleaking.  Stella collapsed but he kept going.  "I'd say the other one's got a leak too."

"I'll check it when we get back," Danny promised.  "I hid it safely away yesterday but she did do most of the fingerprinting."  Xander stepped away and looked at the others.  "We good?"  He got a nod so he dropped the shield.  "Now what?"

"I need to know if this guy's got a link back to the Legacy, Danny.  If so, they've got a special storage area and they'll whine and get in the way if we try to move this stuff."  He pulled out his phone and called Nick.  "Hey, Nick, Alex.  I need to see if a newly dead guy is one of you.  He was collecting a whole House and Court.  He's got most of it but we've had one leaking.  No, the bank sent me because he was carrying one when he died.  Please."  He grinned.  "Thanks, man.  No, the NYPD has it and I'm going to have him fax it to you."  He pulled out a pen and wrote the number on the top of the information sheet he had given Mac, nodding at him to do that.  Mac nodded.  "Coming from the dead guy's fax machine. Not exactly protocol but close enough for me at the moment.  Oh, and we've found two late bloomers who were missed.  One's got a sister who was and the other might just take the draining and the safe blocking.  I'm not sure yet.  Thanks."  He hung up and looked at Stella, coming over to wake her up.  "We gotta talk, young lady."

"I'm older than you."

"Dear, I'm naturally about ninety.  I got hit with a deaging curse. That's the only reason I'm back at this cute and cuddly age."  He helped her up and sat her on a nearby couch.  "I know you've heard of the Harry Potter books and they're real."  She gave him a 'get real' look and he pulled his wand, lighting it up.  Then he cast a very slow, methodical charm to change her clothes for her. She squeaked and glared at him so he undid it with a grin.  "You're one of us.  You're a witch.  It runs in your family.  When I was around this age the first time, I slept with whichever grandma it was that you look just like.  So now you have a choice to make.  Having your magic like it is is a leading cause of major illness, like cancer."  She gaped.  "It backs up and damages cells, which clump together, and I'm sure you can figure it out from there.  There is a safe way of blocking them off but we're going to be monitoring you for the rest of your days in case we have to come back and let you drain again.  Which means you're always going to know the guys in this room very closely.  They're going to be watching you for any sickness and things, plus you're going to be pounced whenever you get the sniffles for a while.  Or we can not drain you and give you the training you need to activate it and give you some control.  That's what we're going to be doing to Don.  Greg Sanders and Philip Callahan have both agreed with me to help teach him and then guide him if he wants to go farther than the basics.  You have the right to make that choice for yourself."

"I still can't believe this," she admitted.

He handed her his wand.  "Swish and flick," he instructed, showing her how.  "Now say 'wingardium leviosa' when you do that."

She did it at a nearby book.  "Wingardium Leviosa."  It floated and she squeaked, dropping the wand.  "I did...."  She looked at him and he nodded, summoning his wand back and putting it back into his interior jacket pocket.  "How?"

"Honey, it runs in your family. It has for generations.  I have no idea why you weren't found."

"Don't call me pet names."

"Sorry.  Sometimes names can mean power over someone.  It's a bad habit that my husband hates."  He grinned at her.  "It's still your choice and you need to make it relatively quickly."

"Would I be going to a school?"

"No, not at your age.  Tutoring.  Greggy and I can help you with that the same way as we will be Don."

"We can be study buddies," Don teased.  "You can be the Granger."

"Who's seriously hunting Philip now that he's not a priest," Xander told him with a smirk.  He looked at her again.  "It's up to you but you should probably make it soon.  You've probably noticed you got a lot more sick this last winter?"  She nodded slowly.  "That's the backing up of the flow.  We have to do it soon in your case.  Flack apparently only broke through his recently.  You've been active the whole time and the local school is going to get fried for not finding you."  She sighed and nodded.  "So it is up to you but I need ta know soon."

"How hard and expensive is it?  I have a Druid friend and she's always having to buy stuff."

Xander grinned.  "Up-front costs now and then.  Depends on what you get into.  If you go potions like Greggy, then yeah, lots of expense.  If you go for just the basics?  Some books and a wand.  It all depends on where your skills lay and how far you want to push yourself."

"Okay," she agreed.  "I'll think about it tonight."

"Thank you."  He stood up and looked at Don.  "You're radiating, we're not giving you a choice.  You're going to start attracting demons like I do.  You'd have made one hell of a curse breaker, Flack."  That got a smirk from Danny.  "We draw attention, trouble, and chaos."

"That explains a few of his dates," Danny teased.  Mac came back.  "Any good news?"

"He quit ten years back and your contact said he's not telling the local house with how much stuff is supposed to be here."

"Oh, it's a lot," he agreed dryly.  "I'm going to be here for weeks cleaning up after him."  That got a smirk from Danny.  "Keep it up.  It's the purer's responsibility to make sure none of this information gets out.  By all rights, I should call on you to help me."  Danny just grinned brightly at him.  "Speaking of which, if they went against you and tried to harm your innate skills, you could report them to the Vinese."  Danny shuddered.  "If you want, I can have Draco deliver it for you.  She watches over all the pure Italian families and you're from one."

"No.  It was a difference of opinion. I didn't wanna be a thug."

Alex nodded, grinning at him. "That's still illegal by the charter the Italian school and pureblooded families signed to stay out of the Familia lines.  To not support, marry into, or join the business."

Danny nodded.  "I hadn't realized that."

"That's supposed to be taught in history," he moaned, shaking his head.  "I'm calling William Sloan later," he decided.  "He can beat the local school senseless like they did with Chicago."  He rolled his eyes and found the pot of floo powder, tossing some into the fireplace.  "Gruinth, Gringotts London."  The goblin's head popped up and she screamed, backing away.  "Chill, Stella, it's a goblin.  He pays me for this stuff."  He looked at him. "He's collecting a House and a Court.  I've got to do a full cleanup and I need the local branch to open a containment vault for them. He's got all but three I'd guess."  The goblin groaned.  "Plus, we found two untrained.  Greg and I are working on that right now."

"Are they taking it?"

"One is.  The other's a Bonasera."  The goblin gave him a look so he got out of the way, letting him see Stella.  "Can you get her a family history?"

"Of course.  Anything else I should know?"

"Former Legacy tie-in.  Nick's not telling the local house, and I'm going to kill the local school.  They've so fucked up.  They missed them both and Don had potential I'm sure.  He's a fucking natural curse breaker, Gruinth."

"Fine.  I'll send word around that you're escorting two late bloomers this weekend."  His head disappeared but the fire remained green. A few moments later a book came flying out along with two keys and a box.  The goblin's head came back.  "She's the last of the family line, Alex.  There might not have been anyone to tell her, but I will warn the local branch and have them check their ways of finding students.  This could cause untold problems."

"Like it did in Beirut a few years back," Alex reminded him.   "Or like when we had to clear out Iran during the revolution."  That got another nod and a short groan.  "Tell Draco to pop over tonight.  I might have a message I need him to send."  The goblin nodded and disappeared.  He looked at Danny.  "He can still take one back to the pater familia for you.  Your father broke protocol and custom."

Danny nodded.  "He did.  I'm not so sure the older family wouldn't stick up for him."

"It never hurts to find out and I'll gladly protect you, Danny.  Your cousin owes me for not telling anyone he was one of the male virgins being picked on by that statue."  That got a smirk.  "Okay, I've got a lot of work to do.  We're going to be setting up a link to move the vases back into safety.  Mac, do you know where the local branch is?"  Mac shook his head.  "Danny?"

"Yeah.  I haven't been in years, but yeah."  He handed Stella the books and stuff he had caught.  "Here."  She gave him a weak smile.  "Just read it and think, Stella.  You and Donny have me at your back if you get stuck."  He looked at Don again.  "You're finding control before you make our lives a living hell.  All you guys draw shit like you wouldn't believe."

"If I'm right, he's been using it on the job to help figure out what happened to victims.  He might have necromatic gifts as part of the curse breaking stuff," Xander pointed out.  "It's not unheard of for us to have affinities.  It's one of the first things we look for in recruits."  He grinned at him.  "You ever know where the body is without someone having to tell you?"

"Yeah, all the time," Stella said dryly.

"That's an affinity," Xander said smartly, grinning at her.  "You read that tonight, I'll be at the house.  Mac and Don both have the addy. We'll figure it out once you've read it."  She nodded, going out to her car.  He looked at Danny.  "Shoo.  I've got this.  Check her for demonic taint later."  He nodded and walked out with Flack.  "Taylor, we'll still have to move that one."

"Once we figure out if this is what he was killed for.  We wobbled on cause of death for a bit."

"Curse?"

"No.  He was shot but he had a heart attack as well."  Xander grinned at him. "I know, that seems reasonable."  He shrugged.  "Need me?"

"Nope.  Need you out of the way.  We're going to be shielding the house so no one can report the fire and then cleaning the hell out of it."  That got a nod and Mac left, locking the door behind him.  Xander looked up.  "Let me shield."  He wove the shields around the house so no one could hear then lit the fire in the middle of the floor, exposing the pentagram there.  "It figures."  The goblins came out and he waved a hand.  "We've had at least one leak I've sealed.  There's another in police custody that I got sent to retrieve.  They'll hand it over once they're sure it isn't involved in the homicide."  They nodded and hauled up containment boxes, complete with foam padding.  "Good job."  He started on the lower echelon, that way none of them would try to break out for the insult of being handled in the wrong order. Demons could be touchy about the order they were gathered.

***

Stella tapped on Danny's door, smiling weakly when he opened it.  She walked in and he closed it behind her, letting her turn to look at him.  "I'm scared, Danny."

"You should be. It's a responsibility that a number of us give up once we've got control. I mostly did after I left my family so they couldn't find me.  Mac did once he wasn't using it for the military."  He smiled and moved closer, patting her on the cheek.  "We'll see what we can do, Stella.  No one says you have ta use it, just train it.  That way you don't die horribly and I've got someone to talk to for a few more decades."  She smiled and nodded.  Someone tapped on his door and he reached back to open it, looking at the blond man standing there.  "Who're you?"

"Draco Malfoy-Dumass," he said, stepping inside.  "Alex's husband.  He said you needed a message taken to either your family's pater familia or the Vinese."  He looked at Stella, frowning a bit.  "You're blooded."

"She is but she was an orphan so no one told her or found her.  The local school passed by a few of us, including a curse breaker who should've been found."  He picked up the letter off his table, looking at it, then at the kid.

"You can decide which it goes to," he said at the indecision.  "Alex said so, but he did say it was necessary.  If it's known that purebloods are involved in the criminal underworld, it could expose us greatly."  Danny nodded and handed it over.  "Which one?"

"The pater familia.  If he's involved he'll know and accept my removal formally from the family's books.  If not, he'll report it or handle it as needed."  Draco nodded.  "Stella just found out today.  Your boy said you're taking him and her shopping."  He grinned a bit.  "Fair warning, Flack's sister got found and he's hooked on the books."

"I'll make sure Potter's at quidditch practice for his team when they come over then," he said with a wicked smirk.  "That author irks him to no end.  Do remind him things changed during the fifth year thanks to the reunion.  Greg's got a better set of accounts from that year on."  He bowed to them.  "Have a good evening."  He left, heading back to Alex's condo and then portkeying from there.  He landed in front of the massive old bronze gates and rang the bell.  A wizard, big, blocky, bulky, reminding him of Crabbe and Goyle, came out to answer his summons.  "I'm Draco Malfoy-Dumass and I have a message from a family member in New York for the pater familia," he said quietly.  The wizard nodded, letting him inside.  He followed him to the carriage that would take him to the house, getting in and calming himself.  He hated this part of the pureblood rituals.  Fortunately his mother handled anything for the remaining Malfoys.  The carriage stopped and the door opened, letting him out.  He bowed formally at the woman standing there.  "My spouse, Alex Dumass, sent me with his message for a wizard in New York that's related to the family."

"Which?"  He handed it to her.  She looked at the name on the front and sighed.  "Very well, come in, Mr. Malfoy."

"Malfoy-Dumass.  I reject my father and I am married," he said with a soft smile.  "My husband is much more reasonable."

She smirked at that and led him inside to a study, knocking and leading him inside at the grunt.  "Husband, this is Draco Malfoy-Dumass.  His spouse Alex sent him with a message from a cousin of the line."  She handed over the letter.   Then she withdrew.  It wasn't her duty to be here.

Draco bowed.  "Apparently my spouse ran into him when he was sent for an artifact that ended up in the possession of the local police department there," he sad calmly.  "He offered my services as a messenger to you.  He decided to send it to you instead of the Vinese as a matter of formality.  I did not look at the contents."

"I noticed it is still sealed.  Sit, please. I would know more about your spouse.  I heard he had been deaged."

"He's twenty now."  He sat down, comfortable but not too comfortable.  This was all about impressions and attitudes.  "He's back to curse breaking and training his apprentices, and myself to handle his affairs."

"I see.  You are a veela?"

"Consort," he agreed.  "My mother and cousin are as well."  That got a nod.  "She's in Paris," he admitted with a small smile.

"I've heard your father died of his stupidity."

Draco nodded.  "And I'm quite happy, now, that he gave me to Alex."  The man smirked at him so he shrugged.  "I'm realistic and Alex treats me like I'm precious and necessary to his life.  I couldn't ask for more as a veela or as a Malfoy.  Though I do not use my former surname any longer as my father's reputation sullied it beyond repair."

"I heard. You fought with the Potter boy?"

"I fought with my husband, who fought with his grandson, the Potter boy," he corrected dryly.  That earned another smirk.  "It's an odd family I now belong to."

"I see.  And this one?"

"I hadn't met him before.  Blond, male, wears glasses.  Had a pureblood with him who managed to get missed apparently. You'd have to ask Alex which one."

"You'll stay while I read this?"

"If you wish."  The old man nodded and broke the seal, reading the long letter.  Draco watched his face, noticing the change of expressions and the momentary anger.  "Alex gave him the choice to bring this to you instead of the Vinese as he had been trained to report anything related to a pureblood family in Italy to," he offered at the stare the old man gave him.  He sat up straighter.  "Your relative chose you for this missive instead of the Vinese."

"It should've went to her.  Where is my nephew?"

"New York City, in America.  He works with Alex at the moment."  He wrote down the floo address. "That's Alex's floo, he can give you an exact address."  He wrote down another one.  "That's where I picked up the message."

"Thank you, Mr. Dumass. Escort me to the Vinese?"

"As you wish," he agreed, standing up respectfully when he did.  The old man smiled and grabbed his cane, allowing Draco to follow him out and to a carriage.  It took a few hours but it was lovely countryside and the old man was reading the letter again.  He looked at him once.  "Is the local school in Venice anything like Hogwarts?"

"No," he said quietly, looking at him.  "It's much less chaotic and more orderly.  It's also much more quiet.  We're much more restrictive, having placement exams to enter.  Venice only wants the brightest of the bright.  Schools like Hogwarts are general education.  Venice is a specialty school, like New York's."

"Alex said that they've been missing wizards.  The one with your nephew was a Bonasera by her looks.  He mentioned she had just been found," Draco offered quietly.  The man's face hardened at that.  "He also said that the other one was a detective and a natural curse breaker, that his sister had been found and not him.  Your nephew was helping her and I know Alex had me bring him a few of the beginning books for both of them."

"As he should.  Your mate is very good, Draco.  He knows his proper place and he's training you very well to uphold that.  I hope you can live up to it."

"As do I."

"Good boy."  The carriage rocked to a stop and they got out, him first as was proper.  He nodded at the boy to follow him inside the villa, going right to the study.  He went to one knee, bowing his head.  "Vinese, I have communication on a grave matter, brought to me by Draco Dumass."  He stood up and handed over the letter, motioning the boy closer.  He also bowed properly, following his lead.  "His mate ran into my nephew in New York."

The Vinese, who was a very ancient woman, she reminded Draco a lot of an older McGonagall by the set of her face, opened the letter and read it.  He knew she was named to this position because she as the oldest and most powerful pureblood witch out of the Venice school.  When she died another would be chosen by those same standards and serve until her death.  "Are you letting him free of the family?" she asked finally, her voice low and scratchy.

"No, Vinese.  What was done to him is wrong.  My family will not stand for this."

She nodded.  "Very well.  Send his family to me. Are they in New York as well?"  Draco nodded silently at that.  "He was trained there?"

"I do not know, Vinese," Draco said quietly.  "I was only the messenger and my spouse didn't tell me that."

"Very well.  We will be going to New York in a few days, we will talk to the nephew then."  The old man nodded and bowed again, as did Draco.  "Mr. Dumass?"  Draco looked at her, standing up again.  "How old is your mate now?"

"Presently, twenty."  He let out a small smile. "He had to regrow from the age of five on a hellmouth."

"Really?  Why?"

"Dumbledore."

"Ah."  She nodded, smirking a bit.  "Who is in charge of the school now?"

"Philip Callahan, with his second being Professor Methos."

"Very good choices.  It's nice to see that your Ministry finally got off their asses," she noted dryly.  He nodded, letting out a small smirk.  "Do you gather and hunt with your spouse?"

"I do some. I make his potions and help with the collections and translations mostly.  I'm not suited to working in a tomb.  I'm a bit claustrophobic and my charms skills aren't what they should be for safety reasons.  Therefore he has me in the library and the laboratory most of the time."

"Interesting.  You are an asset to his family?"  Draco nodded once.  "Very well.  Where might I find him?"

"An artifact containing a demon fell into the hands of the New York police department.  He's handling that situation at the moment.  The former owner died and had it on him, and Alex had to clean out his residence.  He said he was collecting a House and a Court."

"Legacy?" she asked.

"Alex said former when he was complaining.  The local branch is holding them safe."

"Very well.  Any other news?"

"He said the school there is missing people," the old man told her.  "He said he found a Bonasera who recently came to light."

"Interesting.  I shall bring her what I can.  I'm sure your nephew is involved?"

"I heard him say he was going to help her catch up," Draco admitted. "Before I knocked."

She smirked at that.  "Thank you, Mr. Malfoy-Dumass. You have done a great service."

"May I bring a message back to my spouse?"

"Tell him to warn the nephew and only him that we are coming to see him.  That way he has time to clean and prepare his residence."  Draco nodded and bowed again, then backed out of the room and left, going to the end of the wards to portkey back.  "Interesting news."

"Very.  Young Daniel showed promise if he's the one I'm thinking of.  Instead he's been forced to live as a muggle and be a criminalist.  He does lab work."

"Are you going to ask him to come home?"

"He was never raised here," he pointed out.  "I'd doubt he'd feel comfortable since he's an American."  He shrugged and smirked at her.  "But his father and I are going to have a long talk."

"Oh, yes, we will.  He broke the covenant.  It is not allowed."  She stood up.  "We shall leave tomorrow afternoon."  He nodded and left, heading back to his carriage.  She called an old friend over there, another of the pure lines who had immigrated at the turn of the century.  She smiled at the tired face. "How is your child?"

"She has the flu," she admitted. "Vinese, what can I do for you?"

"I need information.  One Daniel Messer did write to his pater about his family to note he had officially removed himself from the lineage."  She nodded at that.  "You knew?"

"I had.  I hadn't known why except that he didn't agree with his family's views on certain matters.  I know they shun him.  I know he's got a past that he walked away from and the past was at their urging."

"Interesting.  I would like a more full disclosure on what you know.  I'll be arriving with his pater tomorrow."

"That's fine, Vinese.  Please use my garden and I'll gather what I know.  I know he works with the police department and he does good work with them. I know that there's a few others in the department, including that Taylor boy that the Marines had."  She smirked at that, they had run into Taylor over a family squabble the Marines had gotten into.  "Taylor would probably be his supervisor."

"Interesting. I shall see you tomorrow afternoon.  I wish your child better health, dear."

"Thank you, Vinese."  She signed off and started to call around desperately to get information on this young man.  Something bad was going to happen if the Vinese was coming to New York again.  The last time it had nearly destroyed a few blocks.

***

Alex looked up as someone walked into the house, then went back to his lunch. "What's up, Danny?"

"I heard the Vinese's coming."

"It probably got brought to her attention."  He finished his sandwich and stood up, looking at what he had left to do.  "She'll expect to see you at your place."

"Can you come with me?  I'm not good on the protocol shit."

Alex grinned.  "Sure.  Let me get Ron here."  He summoned Ron over the tattoos, bringing him.  "You carefully pack and hand them back through the fireplace, Ron.  In order, follow the pattern or else they'll try to break free because you're jumping line in the demon hierarchy."  Ron nodded and got to work.  "Ron, count the lines," he ordered.  "I'm on X and then thirteen lines. Anything with that goes next.  Then fourteen, then X and a B, then lines."  He nodded, checking the vases for those markings while Alex led Danny off.  He took him back to his place and changed once he got there, nodding at the people standing in there.  "He came to retrieve me on the matter going on," he said, shaking hands.  "Vinese.  Pater."

"Alex," she said, smiling at him.  "You haven't changed much since the first time you were that age."

"Except I don't sleep around as much," he offered with a very bright grin.  "Do you mind if I stay?  We need to talk about New York's school."

"As he wishes it," the Pater said, looking at Danny.  "Nephew."

"Pater," he said, nodding at him and kissing his ring, then bowing to the Vinese.  "Vinese.  I'm honored you heard my request to disturb the lineage."

"What I heard was that your lineage has broken the covenant."

Danny stood up and looked at her.  "What covenant?  We never got taught that here."  She growled and he backed up. "Sorry."

"As proven, New York's school has issues," Xander said dryly, creating some tea and cakes.  "Sit, please."  They sat and he sat beside Danny since there weren't enough seats.  She looked at him and he grinned.  "It's good on my back.  I'm dealing with cursed and possessed vases."

"Ah.  And the Bonasera female?"

"She's decided to train herself," Danny admitted.  "She's an orphan, Vinese."

"I see."  She nodded.  "Very well then.  I will talk with her while I'm here."

"She's my coworker. I can call her over when we're done," Danny promised.  She smiled at him.  "I had no idea that there was a covenant, ma'am."

"I realize that now.  It is said you broke it but you went back to an honorable life instead," the Pater offered.  Danny swallowed and nodded.  "Was that at his urging?"

"Some. At that time I had something to prove and chose that way at his urging," he admitted quietly.  "I make no mistake that it was a bad decision and one I'm still regretting."

The Pater nodded.  "I can see that.  Given a choice, would you go back to it?"

"No," he said firmly, getting up to pace.  "I hate the life. I hated the violence.  I like what I do now, Pater.  I'm doing good work now."

"Sit, child," the Vinese ordered calmly.  "He reminds me much of your daughter, Palmero."

"As he does me.  She did that same pacing whenever she was upset."  He smiled at Danny.  "I was only making sure."

Danny sat and looked at him.  "Living that life means I can't use my gun now if I have to, Pater. Violence bothers me and I see the end result every day."  That got a nod.  "I left my education and my old life to get away from it when my dreams were shattered and my final decision was asked for.  I would no more go back to it than I could play beater any longer."

Xander patted him on the leg. "What injury?"

"My wrist."

Xander nodded.  "It happens when those injuries happen, but you could've done therapy, Danny.  I have and I've broken a lot more than that."

"It damaged the nerves, Alex, and I went to a muggle hospital."  That got an unhappy sound from the old woman.  "I called the family healer when I woke up there, but he said he couldn't undo the healing it had went through.  I learned to accept that loss."  They both nodded at that. "I didn't want to get anyone in trouble but when I was found by Alex and realized a few others in the department knew, I felt I had to formally withdraw from the lineage.  Mac already doesn't trust me when he found out who and what I was.  This would only make it worse."

"I understand," the Pater said, giving him a gentle smile.  "The errors were not yours.  You were young and the guidance you were given was bad.  The faults lie in the adults around you. I'm sure they knew of the covenant and I know your grandfather did."  Danny nodded and relaxed at that.  "Are you content where you are?"

"I love my job, Pater. Things like Mac breathing down my throat I don't like, but other stuff I do."

"Very well," he agreed.  "Then we shall be talking with your family tonight.  Now, about the local school?"  Xander pulled out something and handed it over.  "What's this?"

"Their rolls and the public information they released to Chicago about how many students they found but didn't offer to.  Salem sent their own figures and Canada sent theirs when I called up there through the bank. They're only searching out those who fit into their rolls and are of good enough families.  No one lower class.  No one in an orphanage, like the one woman.  No one who might protest having their children trained, like Don Flack.  His sister went and they told his father he wasn't one, probably to keep his dream of his son being like him."  Danny nodded at that.  "They're intentionally screening out wizards and witches.  It's to the point of dangerous.  The Bonasera heir should've been found at birth.  Orphan or not, she was slated to go to an academy.  She's so blocked I had to drain her before giving her the first books so she could read the theory until we can fit her for a wand this weekend.  Flack is a natural born curse breaker."  They both sighed.  "This is wrong.  The military in this country is trying to take over the academies, still, and they're missing people on purpose.  Salem doesn't cover this area and neither does Canada.  I'm sure it's done intentionally."

"As I am," the Pater agreed dryly.  "Is there no governing body?"

"No and we're in a hunt situation," Danny told him.  "Someone found out about magic thanks to a covert group a few years back working on demons. A chaos sorcerer was handed to them."

"By a Watcher," Xander offered dryly.  "Rupert to be exact."

The Vinese moaned.  "How dumb was he?"

"He was on the hellmouth, Ethan Rayne was his nemesis and former lover.  He handed him to the Initiative when Rayne tried to court him again. A few years later the information got to the wrong ears and a hunt started."

The Vinese nodded.  "A Ministry would be better."

"It would, but this is still America.  We've got more fundamentalists than Iran some weeks."  That got a slight smirk.  "I'm serious.  There's whole portions of the country where you go into deep cover if you're living there and one of us or one of the Nature Path people.  There's some watchdog groups in some locations but they're picky.  The one in Las Vegas hates potion masters and keeps trying to stop one of them because he's married to a consort veela and has children."  That got another moan.  "So yeah, we're scattered all across the board.  Even with a Ministry we wouldn't have enforcement at the moment, not with the hunt."

"The senior wizards over here?" the Pater prompted.

"Do what they can.  Vegas has an overlord to keep things down.  New York has one too.  I met him when I came over to handle that really hyped demon that the local school was casting 'finites' at, even though it had been done by a Nature Path worker."

The Vinese held her head.  "I have friends in Canada and Mexico.  We will be talking, Mr. Dumass.  Is the young woman all right?"

"She got really sick over the winter with colds and stuff," Danny admitted.  "We think we caught it in time.  I couldn't even tell because I gave up my skills to hide.  I didn't even think about it and nothing and no one told me anything about any European Guardian families."

"Yet another failing in the school," she sighed.  "The Chicago school?"

"Is being fixed.  They didn't encourage their kids to have wands and they weren't teaching them magic," Xander told her.  "They were recruiting for the military when I had to extract a friend's sponsored child and help her get into Canada quickly."

"Then we shall be talking with those who can make a difference," the Vinese said, standing up.  "Daniel, do not worry.  You are not in the wrong.  You are willing to stay in the lineage?"

"Yes, Vinese, but I'm not sure I can live up to the ideal and marry another pureblood."

"Marry who you want, nephew.  You're not in the line of succession and after your life, I wouldn't expect it.  I will tell the other Uncles and Aunts that you are to be left alone about your choice of spouse.  Do you like the Bonasera heir?" he offered.

"As a friend.  She'd kick my ass if I tried ta hug her," Danny offered with a shy grin.

"I'd like to pair him with the Flack son," Alex offered dryly.  "They think alike and the Bonasera heir would probably be better suited to being tutored by Mac Taylor since he's former military and has that same protective instinct.  Plus he says they're closer."

The Vinese considered it, then nodded.  "Very well.  Should he marry this Flack son, we would not care."

"Whoa," Danny said, holding up a hand.  "Just a friend. Really.  Don doesn't know more than his sister told him and those Potter books.  He wanted ta go see Hogwarts and Dumbledore."

Alex smirked at him. "Then it's your duty to tell him, Danny," he said with a bright grin.  "Plus, not unusual."  He stood up and bowed. "I'd best get back to my apprentice Ron.  He's helping me clean up a demonic collection.  Let me know about that one in custody, Danny."  He disappeared from the spot.

Danny shrugged.  "It's not like that."

"If it happens, it does," his Pater said, kissing him on the top of the head.  "Where would your father be?"

"I told him one of the Uncles was coming over to check on my removal from the family so he said he'd wait at home."

"Thank you, nephew."  He smirked and took the Vinese's hand, then the homing chip Danny handed him.  "You behave and I will see you later about the family matters."  They disappeared.

Danny shivered, suddenly feeling the weight of the family coming to rest on him.  With what his brother did, he was now the heir again. That meant some day he'd have to have kids.

***

Alex reported back to Gringotts a few days later.  "All right.  We're done with the collection. The one in custody joined it and they're arranged in proper order inside the vault," he reported.  "I've taken Flack and Bonasera to Diagon to get fitted, books, and Don wanted robes, with Danny Messer, who is watching over them with a few more local wizards.  I've given them a way to contact myself and Greg Sanders so we can help with their education.  They're being considered for inclusion into the Banes, and they'll be fine.  Messer's family was straightened out and ordered home for confinement by the Vinese.  His boss isn't too happy about it but he understands now that Danny left the old life and went back to the proper ways.  I did break three cartel shields in Miami as a favor for helping with this situation.  I also managed to help a lot more things happen well.  Do I have anything else to do or can I go back to my book and my spouse?"

The goblin looked at him and held up a slip.  "You should probably deposit this."

Xander looked at it, then at him.  "Did you get into my storehouse?"

"They opened the one in the other house's backyard when a unicorn dug into it to get at the itchy thing."  He grimaced and looked at him. "I would like an accounting of what you have stored."

"Which storeroom was it?"

"The one that held the pickle jars."

"Oh, that one.  That's nothing."  He tucked the check into his pocket.  "I'll take that under advisement with Draco.  Anything else?"  That got a head shake.  "Thanks."  He disappeared, going to deposit that into the household accounts, yell at his aunts for letting them into that, and then home again to shag his husband stupid.  He had missed his Draco snuggly.  A lot.

Table of Contents

Summer Holiday. 2

Meetings, Greetings, and Asskickings. 23

A True Bane to the World. 45

One of Those Days. 74

Chaos Indeed. 125

Dragons and Heirs. 164

The Next Great Wizard. 199

New Banes, New Hells on Earth. 229

Baby's Big Day. 244

Family Banes. 256

An Odd Interlude. 268

Trapped and Not Alone. 276

He Needs It. 290

Working. 316

An Unpleasant Surprise. 332

Hodges. 353

Changing Minds. 368

MINE!! 380

An Unholy Trinity. 401

Friendly Beasts. 415

You're a What And You Ride a What?. 425

Matters of the Afterlife. 438

Special Powers of Observation. 454

Nippy and Night. 473

Moves. 484

Lessons. 499

Shifting Over. 510

Amusing Challenges. 521