Contents

The Army of Bane.

Help!

Replacement.

Redemption.

Planning

Tamed Slytherins.

You're One Of A Kind, Xander Harris

Charming.

Ambassadorial Privilege.

The Magic Does Not Lie.

Battleground

Vacation Holiday

The Army of Bane.

In Las Vegas, Greg looked up as the message hit his tattoo, smirking at the disgusted sounding person. "Go for it," he told her, shaking his head as he went back to his work.

"Greg, you've got a fuzzy thing with a paper for you," Warrick said as he walked in to grab some test results.

"Thanks." He walked out, going to Grissom's office. That's where they usually went. He blinked a few times at the cat. "Hello, Professor." He took the message, watching as she changed back. "Big problems?"

"No, I was over here talking with Mr. Boyle about poor Philip," she told him. "That was asked of me as a special favor since Xander won't walk in here."

"We like his friends," Grissom pointed out. "You can do that? Change like that?" She nodded. "Can all of you do that?"

She laughed. "Merlin, no. It's a difficult process and many are not interested. It's an exacting task that one of us sets out for ourselves. Even all those who try do not have the control and desire it enough."

Greg folded up the letter. "What's wrong with Ron now?"

"Ron and his girlfriend consummated their relationship after breakfast one morning because of all the panties he had received after being interviewed." Greg blinked. "Harry agreed to do a single one to set the record straight. The reporter asked to speak to Ron also since there have been some questions about him. Even though he stated he has a girlfriend, they were being sent to him all the time. Dawn finally snapped and dragged him out of breakfast, where things got a little more intense than they expected. They are officially engaged, though Ron hasn't picked out her ring yet.

"Dawn's got to be throwing fits over this," Greg pointed out. "Emilia should be at home."

"There wasn't anyone there. She's probably shopping or something," McGonagall said with a shrug. "So if you would please bring her back to talk to young Miss Summers? Xander made her promise not to do such things again until she had that talk with your wife."

Greg laughed. "I'm sure Ron's fond of that."

"I believe he's found other methods of stress relief with her," she said with a sly look.

"Probably," Greg agreed. "We'll try to get up soon. Maybe even this weekend. We're in a small slump and I'm not sure when I can get away." He looked at Grissom. "Purely a fun trip so I won't beg for time off."

"That's fine, Greg. Don't worry about it." Greg grinned and gave his teacher a hug before leaving. "Did you need some privacy to get home?"

"Where can I portkey back from? I know Greg's picked out a spot."

"Anywhere is fine. Some of us are used to Greg's quick trips to get something." She laughed and nodded, pulling a large envelope out of her pocket and zipping off. Grissom stood up and went to find Greg. "So, what is going on?"

Greg looked at him, then flicked the door closed. "Grissom, your hearing loss is getting noticeable," he said, looking directly at him. His boss nodded. "But, if you *really* wanna know. Ron, one of the young Banes, did a small interview."

"I got that from her."

"Emilia's been giving the kids their talks. She's really good at it and this girl now needs hers."

"Ah." He nodded. "I've heard those can be tough. Like you pointed out, we haven't had much work, and your weekend off is next weekend. If we don't have anything you can take that Friday off."

"That's fine, we can go then. Ron can hold off for another week and a half. I'm sure she's giving him other fun things to do."

Grissom tipped his head off to the side. "Why hasn't this Harry one gotten a lot of fan mail? You said he was famous."

"He is, but I'm guessing it's because he's him. He's still got a calling and some girls find that daunting." He shrugged. "Who knows with young women, huh?"

"True. Thank you, Greg. I'm trying to keep this out of the public eye."

"Grissom, we were standing not five feet from you and you didn't eavesdrop. Catherine's noticed it too. We're worried about you, big guy." He punched him on the arm and smiled. "After all, you could get really hurt out in the field."

"I know, Greg, and I appreciate that. Thank you."

"You're welcome." He handed over a sheet of paper. "For Nick if you should see wander-boy."

"I'll pass it on," he said with a nod of leave taking. He found Nick in the garage and waved the paper. "Nick?" Nick came over to retrieve it. "Anything new?"

"Nothing yet. We're working on it, Grissom."

"Do your best." He walked away, going back to his office. Maybe he should get a second opinion about his ears.

***

Philip looked up as the door to his room opened, smiling at the man standing there. "Nick," he said, hugging him. "Come to spring me?"

"Sure have." He walked Philip out and outside of the London Legacy house. "Do they think you were really that tainted?"

"I've had some unusual urges and they don't know what to think." He looked at his feet as they walked. "I'm not sure I should be a priest, Nick. The taint goes a long way."

"Philip, you were meant to be a priest. Your small taint isn't going to matter to the Church."

"It is, Nick. I can't bless water anymore." Nick stopped and stared at him. "I tried the other day before a mass I went to help with. It held none of the spark it usually did."

"Then what will you do?" Nick asked. "You've always been a priest."

"Yes, but sometimes life calls you to other fields," Philip said with a gentle smile. "There's been signs that I'm to be called to be a Knight."

"A holy warrior for the Church? But they're not as useful today as they had been," Nick pointed out, stepping closer. "I don't think you'd like the job, Philip."

"Some of us are used to guard things, Nick. I think that's my calling and I'm not sure I like it."

"I'd be damn mad."

Philip grinned at him. "You and your temper," he said fondly, giving him a hug. "This feels too good now," he said softly.

Nick pulled back. "Friends should be able to comfort and hug, Philip." He let him go and they started to walk through the park again. "So, what will you be guarding?"

"I don't know yet. I know there's a few artifacts around."

"Ask Xander, he could probably find them for you." He nudged Philip with his shoulder. "Maybe it'll be a book, then you can spend the whole time translating it."

Philip snorted. "I doubt I'm that lucky. Usually you get called to guard something that you don't understand. That way it can't be used."

"That does kinda leave the book out then, yeah," Nick agreed. Philip nudged him this time but they were smiling. He noticed Philip looking at the walls with longing. "Can't you go off property?"

"The last time I did, I had an overwhelming urge to harm someone. I nearly hexed him for hurting his child in the middle of the street."

"That sucks, but it is very you," Nick pointed out. "Or don't you remember that fake boxing lesson for your kids with one dad?" Philip hung his head, moaning a bit. "Sorry."

"No, I remember, I had a lot of penance to do for that one. The Bishop was not pleased."

"What happens if you leave?"

"I'll have to give up the house." Philip sighed. "I'll have to do a lot of paperwork, retrieve my box of possessions. Things like that."

"If you do, Derek said to tell you that you're more than welcome back at our house, no matter what London thinks."

"London thinks I'm dangerous?"

"I'd guess so since your door was locked," Nick offered. Philip nodded. "You could talk to Dumbledore. Maybe get on there as an assistant in Runes or Arithmancy." They started to walk again.

"Maybe," Philip agreed. "But should I take this taint near the kids?"

"Hell yes! You're great with kids, Philip. Never let them tell you otherwise. You're not a danger to them and the school could use you."

"Yeah, I guess." Philip gave him a hug and moved on. "We should try to get to a soccer match."

"I've got one better," Nick offered. "Gryffindor's playing Ravenclaw next Friday."

Philip's face lit up with his smile. "Done," he agreed. He and Nick shared a laugh, continuing to move around the gardens.

The people listening to them wondered what teams those were but supposed it was part of the oddness that Philip had been showing. Such a pity.

***

Tip Top looked up as the owl flew in the back door, smiling as the letter was dropped and owl went to rest in her cage. "Thank you and good morning to you too," she told it. She undid the seal, noticing that it was from Methos, then read his letter first. The enclosed one was explained. She slowly frowned, then opened the enclosed letter. Then she scowled. They would see about this!

She had very clear memories about Harry's past and she knew that they deserved a good caning more than anything. Especially that cousin of his. Too bad the boys were back at the shop. They'd already have ideas for her.

She paused. "When did the boys become my muses?" she asked herself. "I used to create on my own. My personal muses used to be strong enough to jump into other people's heads." She shook herself. "Marriage has wrecked you, Tipsy, and you knew it when they showed up on your doorstep." She went to her study, looking at all her ideas. A new one slowly filtered into her head. "Yeah, that's what I need," she told her muses. "Give me more of those." More ideas flooded into her mind and she cackled. "Oh, Harry's going to love that." She sat down to sketch out the idea. It'd have to be a single-use prank. She'd never be able to sell it, but what an idea!

***

The twins looked up as their shop was invaded. "Hello," George said, smiling at his associate. "What can we do for you today?"

"You can help me look over rings," Ron told him. "I want to know where to bring Dawn our next time off."

"Well," Fred said, coming out of the back room. "That's interesting. What happened?"

"Remember all those panties I joked out?" The twins nodded and he grinned. "She got jealous and jumped me in a closet. McGonagall said we're engaged now."

"Ah," the twins said together.

"Come along, let's go preview some rings. What sort does she like?"

"She said she really likes the nice ones, and she wants something delicate but sturdy. She wants something that's all her. I've got the galleons to do it, but I don't know what to get her."

"You could take her ring shopping," Fred pointed out.

"Yeah, but I want to take her to the store and look in one place, not go all over," Ron pointed out. "There's more jewelry stores than there are clothing places here."

"Good point." George looked at his twin. "We'll be right back. I'm going to show him our favorite shop." He led Ron out, taking him down to one dusty, older shop. "This is where we got Tipsy her earrings from us," he explained. "They look old, but like Ollivander's it's really neat inside." He let Ron walk in first.

"Whoa," Ron said, looking at all the shiny things. "This is really cool."

"Hello," an older woman said from behind a counter. She was the only thing that didn't sparkle. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm pre-looking for engagement rings," Ron explained.

She looked at George, then at Ron. "Aren't you already married?" she asked George. "I remember you buying a beautiful pair of Kenyan diamond solitaires. Four carats if I'm not mistaken?"

"We are, this is our little brother Ron." He patted Ron on the back. "Do you have a picture of Dawn?"

"Sure." He pulled out his wallet and pulled out his favorite six pictures, putting them onto the counter. "That's my girl."

She picked up one and examined it, then led him over to a small case, putting the picture on top of it. Three more went on that case and the other two went onto another case. "That's where you'll find her perfect ring."

Ron squatted down to look at the rings, then moved to the second case. In between he found a ring that just spoke to him. "Can I see that one?" he asked, pointing it out.

"I don't think you're a veela," she pointed out.

"Oh." He shrugged. "We're very open to them. Even dad's had some problems at work I think." He looked in the cases again. "Nothing in there really seems to say 'her' to me."

"Hmm." She looked around the store. "Of course, the best fit comes with the young lady being present, but I understand you wanting to narrow the field for her." She went into the back and came out with a small tray. "How about these?"

"How about something pink since she likes pink so much?" George offered.

"Or, hey, anything that would remind her of home?" Ron asked. "She used to live in Sunnydale."

The woman frowned, tapping her lip. "I have a bone ring somewhere but I doubt that's what you were thinking." She shrugged. "Bring your young woman back here and we shall see." She gathered up the pictures and handed them to him. "She will love whatever you pick."

"I know, but I want it to be something special," Ron pointed out. "I'm mushy that way." He waved and followed George back into the street. "Now where?"

"Well, there's one other place. We didn't have to go there, but since Dawn is so unusual I'm guessing they'd be perfect." He led the way toward Knockturn but took a small alley to the left right before the stairway down. He knocked twice on a door and it opened. "My brother's previewing engagement rings for his fiancé," he told the very handsome man standing there.

Ron looked at him. "You're an incubus," he pointed out.

"Ron!"

"He is."

"I am," the man agreed, "reformed of course." He smiled. "Come in. I will not hit on you. I only prey on those who are false." He watched as Ron walked across his boundary. "You have doubts?"

"She's so young, but we've agreed to make it a long engagement," Ron said firmly. "One year after her graduation. That way she can figure things out and tell me if I'm not what she wants."

"Wise of you. You have not embraced monogamy?"

"I try really hard, but I still look."

"As do most men," the incubus assured him. "Does that ease your doubts?"

"Mostly," Ron agreed with a grin. "You're good." He handed over the pictures and the man flipped through them before handing them back. He pointed at a case. Ron walked over and squatted down to look at the rings. A single ring shone out at him. "Wow. George, come see." He pointed it out and the incubus took it out of the case. "This is...wow."

"What is that?" George asked.

"Goblin gold and a very rare diamond. One almost never sees a diamond like that in nature but this one was found a few centuries back."

"Does it have a history?" Ron asked.

"No, it's been waiting for the right wearer. Strangely enough, my last sale flinched away from it."

"When was your last sale?" George asked.

"Narcissa Malfoy's wedding rings."

Ron grinned. "That's more than enough reason." He looked at George, then stood up. "I will be right back, even if I have to steal the girl from class."

"It will be here this weekend, young man."

"I can't wait," Ron told him. He hurried off, heading back to the school through the shop's floo. He found the Headmaster waiting on him. "I found it," he said happily. "It's the most precious thing and I adore it. Please? Just for an hour more?"

"If you do, you shall have detention tonight in the library."

"Okay," Ron agreed, heading out to go find his Dawn. Dawn was easily grabbed out of Transfiguration and carried off by Ron, back through the floos and out into the alleyway. "I've got something I want you to look at and think about," he told her. She nodded, smiling at him. He led her back into the shop and the shop owner pointed at the new case, giving him a smile and a nod.

Dawn looked at him. "I know you're demonic, what sort?"

"I am an incubus, sister of the former Slayer." He bowed. "I only feed on those who lie to their women. Your man has no need to fear me, even if you do end up with more of a cozy marriage than not."

Dawn nodded. "Thank you." She got down to look in the case, eyes going wide as she pointed at the ring. "That one?" she asked.

Ron looked where she was pointing. "I was thinking the rose colored one but if you wanted that one," he offered with a grin. "I was going to let you pick."

She looked around, finding the one he meant. It was back in it's old case and she squealed, jumping up and down. "I love it, Ron! I adore it and it's so me!" She hugged and kissed him, then George, then the incubus. "Please? May I try it on?"

"Of course." He pulled it out. "That is the one he picked out but seeing you I thought you might like something a bit more plain."

"Plain my ass, I want something that's just me," she said, smiling at him. She looked at the ring, then tried it on, feeling the weight. "It's really heavy."

"It should be. It's three carats. Goblin gold and a very unusual diamond. Very unique."

Dawn looked at it, then at Ron. "Can we afford it?"

"I've got money, Dawn. How much?" The tag was shown to him and his eyes went wide. "You weren't kidding," Ron told him. He looked at the look on Dawn's face, then sighed. "Do you do slips?"

"I had better. You'd never carry that much," the demon pointed out dryly.

"How much?" Dawn asked. Ron covered her eyes. "I can get something smaller, Ron, I won't mind. We can get me this for our anniversary or something."

"No, you deserve it and I'm still getting paychecks," Ron pointed out. He patted himself down. "Of course mum has the key to the vault still."

George laughed and moved to call her from the house. "Molly Weasley," he called into the floo. Her head quickly popped up and he noticed her hair was out of order. "You all right, mum?"

"Just fine, George." She looked behind him. "That looks suspiciously like a jewelry store, son."

"Ron just found Dawn the perfect ring and you've got his key."

"Give me a few minutes. Where are you?"

"You know that special jewelry store near Knockturn?" She nodded, lips pursing. "There. You can step through."

"The key's upstairs." Her head disappeared and the fire went out.

George stood up. "She said it'd be a minute." He lifted Dawn's hand up to look at the ring. "That does suit you," he told her. "Remember, if you harm Ron and make him cry the rest of us consider you fair game."

"You'll have to stand in line behind Xander," she said seriously.

"No, dear, he's our family, he has to stand in line behind us." He kissed her on the cheek. "With that said, even if you do end up like mum and dad, just really good friends who can finish each other's sentences, then I'm sure you'll be happy. Of course, the more carnal the relationship, the less mum has to nag us about having kids."

"Have you told your wife that mum wants grandkids already?"

"Yup, and Tipsy looked at her and pointed out that she wasn't a spring chicken. We could adopt when we were ready."

Dawn gave him a hug. "I'm sure you'll have wonderful kids, George." She smiled up at him. "I'm not babysitting through."

"Good," Ron told her. "They'd wreck any house we had." His mother walked in and he grinned at her. "Come see."

She looked at Dawn's hand, then at her face. She nodded and handed over the key. "If that's the one that moves her."

"I offered to get something smaller."

"But I want her to have that one, it made her squeal and bounce," Ron told her. "Just like I do."

Molly nodded. "I'm sure that's the one then." She smiled at the man behind the counter. "Was it a hard sell?"

"Not in the least. He found it right away."

"The second shop. The other he didn't like," George put in. "She did her wannabe Ollivander routine and Ron couldn't find anything he liked."

"Yeah, but this more than makes up for it," Ron assured him. He signed the slip, noticing the lesser amount.

The incubus shrugged. "I like you two. You're cute. Besides, now I have gossip for my brethren when they come up for a visit."

"Tell Xander's mommy I said hi," Dawn told him. "And if you see Anya, tell her I said hi and that I'm doing really well and I'm happy." She took Ron's hand and gave him a kiss on the cheek, making him blush as they walked back outside. "We should probably go back to class."

"Yeah, I've now got detention in the library tonight," Ron agreed. He smiled at his older brother. "Thank you, George."

"I always like to make people squeal in delight," he said, handing Ron back his key.

Ron looked at it then handed it back to his mother, who sighed. "Tough. I've got an investment coming open soon. I can live on my paychecks, this was just too important to make payments on." He kissed the back of Dawn's hand again, noticing her ring was off. "Where is it?"

She pulled it out of her pocket. "I didn't want it to get jacked."

"Sweetie, no one here would ever think about robbing you," George told her. "Besides, that's what sticking charms are for."

"Okay." She let Ron slide it back onto her finger and grinned again. "Sorry."

"Not a problem," he said, doing the sticking charm himself. "Now, let's go back to school. That way all the other Hufflepuffs can squeal and bounce in joy too." She laughed, following George back to his shop. She even resisted the urge to visit the candy shop. Ron winked at her and accepted the package from Fred. "Thanks. Yours?"

"Ours, the candy store, the routine stuff you usually beg us to buy you," Fred pointed out. He lifted Dawn's hand and looked at the ring, wincing as the light hit it. "That is impressive."

"Isn't it though?" Ron asked smugly. "And the nice incubus was very helpful. Thank you, George. You are such a great big brother. I can almost forgive you for making my life a living hell some days." He hugged them both and took Dawn back through the floo. This time McGonagall was waiting on them. He held up her hand with a shy grin. "I found it."

McGonagall let out a surprisingly girlish squeal as she looked at it, pulling Dawn closer to look at it better. "That is one very beautiful ring," she said, remembering herself. "Congratulations." She patted Dawn on the back as she walked out. "How much did that set you back?"

"He gave me a discount because he thought we were cute," Ron said, waiting until Dawn was long gone. "But I don't think the Burrow went for that much originally." Her eyes widened. "Yeah, that commission for the auction was very handy. And she offered to get something tinier but that was so her."

"It was. Enjoy it, Mr. Weasley." She gave him a short hug. "You have detention tonight with Madam Pince from eight on. Try to behave." He nodded, taking his bag of goodies with him. She went to gossip with Madam Pomfrey. Poppy shouldn't be busy today.

***

Greg walked his darling wife into the school, finding the Headmaster talking with Philip and Nick. "Ah, other gamers," he said happily. "Where are the happy couple?"

"Ron's playing today and Dawn is bouncing around the Great Hall," Nick told him, giving him a punch to the arm. "Ron bought her the Rock of Gibralter."

"Hell, I'd be bouncing too," Emilia pointed out. "She hasn't had any in weeks."

"Ron's probably found a way around that," Philip pointed out. The expression on his face could only be called a leer.

"Philip, I know it's been a while but Emilia promised to never make me share with another man," Greg said patiently. Philip looked stricken, going pale. Greg hugged him. "The taint?" Philip nodded. "I understand. I'll let you leer at her until you piss her off." He pulled back and hugged his wife. "Go find the future Mrs. Ron."

Emilia stepped up to Philip and kissed him on the cheek. "We'll see if we can take more of it off, Philip. Leave it as more of a desire than a compulsion." He nodded, giving her an extra squeeze. "So, Dawn, huh? They rhyme?" She walked toward the Great Hall. She'd seen pictures. She'd even seen the article in the paper, and the pictures that showed Dawn with her new ring as they went back to class that day. So she knew a lot about the girl, but the taint on her stunned her. "Holy mother of Gods," she hissed. She looked over the girl, barely noticing her cousin. Draco whispered in her ear and she relaxed. "She's in control?"

"Most of the time. She can do both though."

"Good." She walked over and tapped Dawn on the shoulder, smiling at her. "I'm Emilia."

"Finally!" Dawn said, jumping up and giving her a hug. "Oh, Goddess, I've been waiting for you. Xander made me promise not to touch Ron until you could talk to me." Her dog barked. "Can we do that now? Please?" she begged.

"Sure, kiddo." She smiled at the dog. "Good morning to you too. What's your name?"

"Midnight, this is Emilia. Would you like to have your chewtoy while we talk?" He barked again and Dawn gathered up everything, following her and Draco. She finally had to look at him. "Big brother? I don't want to discuss sex with you in the room."

"Fine," he said, smirking at her. He kissed her on the forehead. "I'll be around when you're done or find me after the game."

"Sure." She smiled, waving at his back. "Phew. That would have been an odd discussion." She looked at Emilia as she paced, then flicked her finger at the doorway, making it open. "There, faster," she said with a bright grin.

"You can harness it. I'm impressed." She let Dawn in first. "Oops. Sorry, I was having lusty thoughts about Greg," she said, noticing the handcuffs on the wall.

"No big, I lived with vampires." She settled herself on the couch, her dog laying beside her. "I know you can sense energy because Draco can. So can I. I'm not dangerous."

"I wasn't quite sure what you were but he told me you were an artifact brought to life," she pointed out.

"Something like that," Dawn agreed. "We don't tell hardly anyone."

"That's very wise of you. Even around here there are people who would use you." She sat across from the girl. "So, we've got to have the full talk?" Dawn nodded. "What did Alex make you promise?"

"Not to touch Ron sexually until I had a long and involved talk with you about all the nasty stuff that could happen. So we've been doing ourselves and letting the other watch."

"Good girl," Emilia said happily. "A woman who knows how to pleasure herself is a delight in bed for her mate because she can show him when he's lost." Dawn nodded. "Let's start with the basics. I know you've had some of this before, but it's a little different over here." Dawn leaned forward, listening like there might be a test on all this later.

***

Emilia walked up to where Methos was standing, tapping him on the shoulder. "Do you know?" He nodded, smiling at her as he pulled her in for a hug. "Am I broadcasting?"

"Summers often makes people giddy and your mate is foolishly not around." He suddenly jumped and patted his rear until the fire went out. "My mistake."

"Greg is very protective," she said with a grin. She patted him on the back. "Ron really loves her. It glows from them both."

"Good. It's nice to see...." He trailed off as she walked off, frowning when he saw where she was going. He hurried to catch up. Emilia could sense problems but Tip Top looked fine. He hoped she wasn't sick, he liked the wench too much to lose her like he had his Alexa. His frown eased when he saw the hand going to Tip Top's abdomen, then he smirked. "Really?" he asked as he joined them.

"Get off," Tip Top told her, pushing her away gently. She was frowning at her. "I am not. I had my cycle just...." She counted back. "Last month?"

"Uh-huh. You're going to the nurse right this moment," Emilia said firmly, grabbing her by the arm and dragging her up the stairs. Madam Pomfrey was waiting on them. "She's preggers."

"She is?" She smiled at Tip Top, who was scowling. "You're not happy?"

"It's not expected," Tip Top said firmly. She looked at the test strip that was placed against her stomach as it turned blue. "Boys?" Madam Pomfrey nodded. "Plural?"

"That I'm not sure about," Madam Pomfrey pointed out. "You are from a set of twins, as are your twins." She grinned. "We'll be able to figure that out soon enough."

"Oooh, the first baby in this generation! I call dibs on planning the party," Emilia said, rushing out to tell Greg. She bounded into him when she found where he was standing. "Tip Top's knocked up," she said happily.

"Holy fucking God," Nick said, eyes wide. "Tip Top Ramvette?" Emilia nodded, grinning at him. "Those kids are going to be horrible!"

"Yup," Emilia said happily. "And if they turn out like Percy we'll have to warp them." Greg and Philip both laughed at that. "I called dibs on the party."

"I don't want it," Nick and Philip assured her.

"Good." She smiled as Tip Top joined them. "See, they're happy."

"I can't tell the twins this! They're too young."

Philip looked at her. "Tell them or I will. In the most embarrassing way possible." She whimpered. "Fine." He turned into a black cat and stalked down the stairs, hurrying to the apparation barrier. He hadn't been able to use his animagus form since he had taken his novitiate vows, so it felt very good to be in this form. Once he was far enough away, he turned back and headed to Diagon. Two stops garnered him balloons and a big box of candy, both with 'congratulations' printed on them in blinking, large, bright yellow letters. He found Tip Top waiting in the doorway and smiled at her. "You or me, girl."

"Me," she said, then she glanced inside and whimpered. "Do I have to?"

He gently moved her out of the way and walked in, letting go of the balloon string. It let out a gale of trumpets as soon as it touched the ceiling. Both twins looked at him in shock, one of them whimpering. He handed over the box. "Your beloved wife chickened out," he said. He pulled his wand and charmed the balloons so they wouldn't leave the store but they would follow the twins around.

"Tipsy!" Fred called, albeit weakly. She stuck her head inside and he pointed at the balloons. "Really?"

George looked at the candy, then swallowed. "Can fathers get morning sickness?"

"It's not morning," Philip said smugly.

The kids in the store mobbed Tipsy and the twins to congratulate them and nearly bought the store bare in celebration. This meant the legacy would go on!

Philip smiled at the twins. "Emilia called party planning rights."

"Better her than us," Fred said, walking over and pulling his wife into his arms. "We'll love it even if it does turn out like Percy," he promised. She sniffled.

"Don't do that," George said, walking over to hug her as well. "You know you're our favorite treat and it was bound to happen with our luck anyway." He kissed the back of her neck since he had that side of her. "It'll just be more of you to love and the baby will be wonderful, just like the three of us."

"It might be babies," Philip said helpfully. "You're all from twins."

"Shut up," Tip Top told him, glaring at him. "I'm too old for this. Twins would make it worse." She looked at the boys, seeing their hurt looks. "This would be like your mother getting pregnant at her age, boys, it's very risky."

"So? We'll wait on you hand and foot."

"Or leg and arm," the other offered. "We'll even put on those tiny shorts and be your faithful servants."

"I think that's what got me into this mess," Tip Top pointed out. Fred kissed her and she went limp. "I'm happy, but I'm scared."

"Consider our feelings," Fred pointed out. "Our mother must have blessed us with kids like us."

"Or at least she tried very often," George added.

Tip Top started to laugh and cry. "Oh, Merlin, I'm messed up."

"Shh, you're our mess," George promised.

"And we love messes, look at all the ones we've caused," Fred added, making her hug them both. "We'll deal, lovie. We always do. And if it's babies, then we'll hire a sitter for our future litter."

"No, no, no, no more than two kids," she said quickly. "I can't handle more than twins."

"Then it's a good thing there weren't three of us," Fred joked.

She pinched him. "Your mother probably drowned one of them thinking he was going to be the horrible one."

"Which means he'd have been like Percy."

Philip slipped past them. "Your brother's playing today," he told George. He got a nod so he slipped back to the school and went back to the game. He and Nick high-fived and shared a laugh, then went back to watching the game, remembering the days they had played.

***

Alex brought in the last dish and sat down at his place. "Okay, someone call the meeting to order," he offered. "I'm hungry. Draco wouldn't let me nibble cookies earlier."

"You don't get that much exercise, you'll get fat," Draco reminded him. Everyone looked at him. "What? Like it's my fault he's noisy and the Headmaster and Severus forbid him from having sex in Slytherin ever again."

"Just because you kept them all up," Harry said dryly. Snape glared at him. "What?" he asked with a grin. "Holly, dear, would you please swat the gloomy bastard so we can move on to happier news?" He looked down at the head of the table. "It is happier news, correct?"

"It's much happier news," Tip Top agreed. She stood up and smiled at everyone. "Emilia figured out that I was pregnant." The table's occupants blinked. "It's at least one boy, we won't know how many for a few more weeks at least."

"And I get party planning rights," Emilia announced.

The crowd burst out into laughter and congratulating, those close enough even going so far as to risk patting her on the stomach. Xander broke into it by tapping on his glass. "Guys, we've got to do the cheesy blessing ceremony thing, like in Sleeping Beauty." Everyone looked at him. "My family did it for all the kids and look how I turned out."

Holly nodded. "We still do in my branch. Dad wanted me to be powerful."

"And you are," Ron agreed, grinning at her. Dawn stepped on his foot. "I'm not flirting."

"I know but smile at me," she told her. "We've got to go tell Cordy this afternoon." Ron shuddered so she kissed him on the cheek. "I flooed first and Cordy swore there shouldn't be a fight this time."

"Can I come?" Luna asked. Methos had tapped her to join the group since she was who she was. "Please? So I can see my pony and my mule?"

"Sure," Xander agreed. "We'll do the portkey as soon as lunch is over with, Luna. Just remember, you can't get me yelled at by your father."

"Okay." She smiled at him but Draco raised an eyebrow. "He's very nice."

"He's also very taken," Draco said firmly. "I am a jealous spouse."

Xander pounced him, kissing him hard. Draco moaned under him and pushed them onto the floor, getting down to roll with him. He didn't care who was in the room, they were having sex, now. Right this very instant. He had been celibate for *days*.

Tip Top coughed, then started to laugh. "It's good someone can still do that."

"You'll get some again soon," Dawn promised. "My mom said she couldn't stand my father for the first trimester and then she couldn't get enough of him for the next, and the last he was only good for backrubs and fetching things."

"I remember those days," Tip Top sighed. The twins kissed her, making her forget her ex. "What was I saying? Never mind, eat. Alex, let the poor boy eat."

"I am eating, wench, shut up," Draco ordered, panting hard before going back to his Xander snack.

Greg shrugged. "They'll be done soon. They're too desperate for more than a quickie." He handed Tip Top the roasted vegetable platter with a smile. "Here you are. The first of many I know."

The twins loaded her plate for her, making her groan in mock distress. "Guys!"

"Our son or sons will be healthy and strong," George said firmly, adding one last piece of cauliflower.

Fred looked at Emilia. "When are you two going to have one?"

"Um, probably next year," Emilia pointed out. Greg blinked a few times and then slowly slid out of his chair as he passed out. "Sorry, Greg. I wanted to tell you last night but you were just a bit too happy to have me in bed," she told him. "I'm not sure though."

"Dear God, it's starting over again, a whole new cycle," Methos pointed out.

Fred raised his glass. "Then Dumbledore had better watch out."

"The Bane Army will roll through that school and change it yet again."

The group laughed and lunch was officially on. At least until they had to clap for the orgasms.

***

Dawn peeked inside the Hyperion's main room. "Hello?" she called.

"Upstairs," Buffy yelled back. "Cordy's got a few cuts that need stitched."

"I'll wait," Dawn offered. Luna went hunting for her pony and mule while Dawn sat down with her boyfriend on the couch. Her mother's ring was on her first finger and her engagement ring was on her third. She was even dressed up a bit. Ron of course was being Ron and was in a pair of jeans and a sweater.

Fred trotted down the stairs, smiling at them. "Hi. How's school going?"

"Really well," Dawn said honestly. "I'm doing good, everything's going well. Some of Xander's other friends are preggers." She brushed a strand of hair off her face and Fred's squeal brought everyone running, with weapons.

"Oh, my God, that's a huge stone," Fred said, taking her hand to look at it. "That is, like, so humongous. Ron, that's a really nice job. Where'd you get it? Can you take me there when I need one because that is so perfectly Dawn and so pretty." She knew she was babbling, but this was worthy of it.

The LA group looked at Buffy and Tara for a translation.

"After many years of dealing with Willow-babble, Fred-babble is easy," Buffy told them. "I think she's really impressed by the rock my sister's wearing." She jogged down the stairs, seeing the big stone herself. "Wow." She took the hand to look at it, noticing it was changing colors. "Huh."

"It does that when people who might hurt her are around," Ron said. "We found that out when someone tried to jump her in Hogsmeade last weekend." He put his arm around Dawn's shoulders. "So?"

"I approve," Buffy told him.

Wesley shouted, "No, leave me alone!" at someone upstairs.

Spike cracked up, walking down the stairs carefully to avoid the sunlight. He looked at her ring and smiled at her. "Nibblet, you are lucky. He musta dropped some dosh on that."

"Oh, he did," Ron agreed. "But it suits her and she wanted that one."

"I offered to go with something smaller."

"No real husband would let you settle on something so important," Fred said firmly. "A woman should have a ring that thrills her." She sat down on Dawn's free side, not minding when Buffy moved her so Cordy could have that spot.

"May I?" Cordy asked. Dawn let her see it. "Unusual gold. Flawless diamond. Very unusual color." She nodded. "He's more than worth it if he's willing to go that far." She looked at Ron. "My warning about asskickings still stand."

"I wouldn't expect anything else," Ron agreed happily. "Come see. We've got an hour." Wesley shrieked but it didn't sound like he was in pain. "Luna, let the poor guy rest between," he called.

"You brought Luna with you?" Angel asked. Ron and Dawn nodded. "Oh, shit." He hurried up the stairs to keep her from killing Ethan, who had moved into Wesley's room without telling him beforehand. They made a reasonably cute couple once Wesley had gotten over being shocked. He found Luna between the two men and backed out, slamming the door shut. "Never mind. Wes, Dawn just showed up with her engagement ring."

"He'll see them when I'm done with him," Luna called back. "I'm saddle training."

Angel walked down the stairs wiping off his ears. "I didn't need to know that."

"What's with the horse references?" Fred asked. "I never pictured Wesley or Ethan as stallions."

"That's a mental picture I didn't need," Gunn pointed out.

"Apparently her mother once called her father a stallion and told her he had started out as a pony but she had trained him," Dawn said with a grin. "Now she wants her own pony. I'm not sure why she calls Ethan a mule though."

"Well, he is stubborn," Gunn pointed out. He looked at the ring. "That looks really expensive."

"There's a sticking charm," Ron told him. "She nearly took it off and hid it after we bought it because she thought someone might want to steal it so I stuck it onto her finger."

"That's a valid worry," Fred agreed. "I had a purse snatched not too long ago. Not that it had anything in it."

Ethan all-but did a Fred Astaire dance down the stairs. "Ah, my lovely little one." He kissed Dawn on the head. "And quite a rock," he said in appreciation. He looked at it but didn't pick it up. Dawn held her hand higher, giving him a patient look. "Luna said it was charmed and I don't want to interfere with that," he explained. "Simply magnificent. Your man has very nice taste."

"He picked it out and then stole me from class to see if that was the one I wanted," Dawn shared. The girls all sighed, smiling at her. "And the jeweler was a really nice incubus. Said he wouldn't go after Ron because he only touched the unfaithful."

"Good job," Buffy told her, ruffling her hair. She noticed Luna and Wesley coming down the stairs. "I think someone needs a juice box and a granola bar," she noted, nodding at them.

"Yes, I was going to do that," Ethan agreed, going to get them their needed nourishment. It was too bad they couldn't stay for longer. He and Wesley shared a kiss and Luna pulled out a small instrument. "What is that, Luna?"

"A time turner. It affects time in it's locality for those holding it." Ethan looked at it and Wesley tried to get it. She turned it and let him grab it but pulled Ethan's hand over before releasing the turning part. They sped backwards and snuck up the stairs the back way so they wouldn't run into themselves. "There, now I have four whole hours before I show up."

"What a very wicked idea you have, minx," Ethan said with a smirk.

"It's not good to play with time," Wesley pointed out.

"You have four extra hours too," Luna said smugly, letting Ethan hold her while she pulled Wesley down to give him another riding lesson, or to get one herself. Perhaps he was already a stallion and she only had to learn how to ride him to his fullest potential. She smiled up at Ethan. They had come to an agreement during the holidays the day before they did the ritual. She liked Wesley and she was relentless. He liked Wesley and he was nearly as relentless, but he could cut and run at a moment's notice. Therefore she was holding them both to her and they could struggle against their ropes all they wanted. Luna had discovered an unknown part of her that liked the hunt and the catching was always sweet each time she had to hunt down Wesley. She smirked at him and he moaned. "Good boy, my stallion," she cooed, patting him gently. "Now, let's use this four hours in a good way to teach me more."

"Definitely," Ethan agreed. He pointed at the bed. "If our boy would relent of course."

Wesley groaned. He didn't like it but Ethan knew he was weak and how to exploit that weakness. He did as he was told, being the subject for their next lesson in sex magic. Ethan was a very enthusiastic teacher of the subject.

***

Dawn and Ron landed back on the lawn at Hogwarts, Luna landing right behind them from her own trial of a portkey. They congratulated each other and headed inside to their respective houses. Her roommates were still sighing over her ring. Luna's housemates were giving her odd looks. Ron's roommates were still in the back-slapping phase.

The teachers, however, had piled on the homework. There was two months to tests and they were determined to finish out everything. Which is why Dawn had to head down to the dungeons for special lessons. From all the time she had missed, she had to make it up. She met Professor Snape at the doorway. "It went very well. Everyone was very impressed with the taste Ron showed," she shared.

"Wonderful." He closed and locked the door behind her. "Summers, have you any idea if the Headmaster now knows about you?"

"I don't know. I told Emilia but we were in the Room of Requirement at the time, sir. Why? Does he?" He nodded. "Am I in trouble?"

"He's a bit more wary. He thinks that had something to do with your status as a future wife." He looked down at her. "You might want to explain it to him."

She considered it. "How do I know he won't try to use me?"

"I cannot assure you of that," Snape told her. "I trust the man, but you should make that decision for yourself."

"Yeah, but I see something in him that shows some desperation. I'm not letting myself be used as a weapon, Professor Snape. I'm a nice, normal fifteen-year-old girl. No matter what else I am."

"I understand. He wishes to speak with you however."

"Then he can do it with Xander around and after someone finds some way to protect me," Dawn said, looking down at her ring. "It's been off color all day. Ever since we left."

Snape sat down. "He breached the subject with me shortly after you left," he admitted.

"Then he should know that I'm getting warning system feelings and I don't trust him. Not yet. Harry and Ron trust him with their lives, but I don't. Frankly, I've been attacked one too many times for that."

"I understand. I can call your older brother if you want."

"Please. I think I'll need it. Is Holly around?" He rolled his eyes. "Sorry, stupid question, is she free?"

"She is. She's also willing to sit in on this since she was told by Ethan."

"Good." Dawn bit her lip and sat down in her usual seat. "Then I guess we can tell him if we must. As long as I'm protected."

"I'll do my best, Summers." She nodded. "Headmaster? Holly? Malfoy, Dumass, Weasley, and Potter, appear," he called out. The paintings went to get the students, the others came at his call.

Dawn waited until Draco, who was the last one, showed up. "The headmaster has a question about which artifact touched me."

"No," Ron told her. "Not here. There's too much chance of being spied on." Snape looked amused. "I felt one of the portals like the Hufflepuffs put into our rooms in here, Professor, and I don't like it. I won't risk Dawn." He looked at Xander.

"Half the Banes are still at my house," Xander admitted. "Including Daryl and Simon."

"Can we ward a room against spying?" Holly asked. "I know I could do it at home but I'm not sure with so much magic around here."

Dumbledore raised his wand. The portraits were all covered with a heavy black cloth. "How is that?" He saw her look at Ron and Draco, who both nodded. "Now are you ready to tell me the whole truth?"

"I'm the Key," she told him. "That big ball of green energy. Some monks brought me to life to protect me from the person who my sister died to save me from." Dumbledore sucked in a breath. "I'm still just a fifteen-year-old girl, only I have some power built into my body."

"That's why you have the obsidian wand?"

Dawn looked at Xander. "I don't know, is it?"

"You're the one who picked it out."

"I picked it out because it felt right in my hand," she reminded him. "That and it was pretty." She looked at the headmaster. "That is why one of my wands has no core though. Why I can do both sorts of magic and why everyone is very sure I should learn both of them and offensive and defensive forms of each of them."

Dumbledore nodded. "You have put me into an awkward situation, young lady. Our school's charter said we will not admit magical creatures or beings."

"And I'm no longer one of those," Dawn said coolly. "They turned me into a human. I'm just as human as you are. If you don't believe me, get Madam Pomfrey to check me again."

"I'm not doubting that you are human, Miss Summers, simply that you should be here. You could put us into conflict with some other schools."

"They can take a flying leap," Xander told him. "There's no way I'm sending her to Drumstrang."

"What about Faieth?" Snape offered.

"Fucking hell no," Ron said firmly, glaring at him. "If Dawn leaves, I leave."

"And if Ron leaves, my life's in greater danger so I'd have to go too."

"Faieth isn't a real school, it's more a training academy and Dawn could probably finish most of it in a year," Holly offered. "I took six months there."

"I took about four and nearly killed an instructor," Xander told her. "They can be very firm about doing things their way, even when it's counter-intuitive to your natural one. I found myself backed up all the time there."

"Yes, but for those of us who have more control than you did at that time, it can be a great place. Plus, I know that Ethan would support me on this."

"I'm not leaving Ron," Dawn told her. "End of discussion."

"Faieth has classes specifically for cursebreakers who have extra strong gifts in sensing and affinities for hiding spots," Holly told her. "Ron could probably go, as could Harry. It might take a year, but it shouldn't be too long for you to go."

"We've only got one year of school left," Harry said tiredly. "Dawn has four." He looked at Xander. "Opinion?"

"Hate it," Xander said firmly. "Dawn and I have nearly similar main wands. I don't think she could work the way they want. Holly, do you have problems merging with her?"

Holly sighed. "I do," she admitted. "That could be a problem for her. I'll admit that. I still think some of the training could help her though."

"That's why I put Ethan and Wes onto her case," Xander pointed out.

"That is reasonable," Snape admitted. "Xander, we do have to worry about her staying safe. Since it appears that others know or can sense her."

"I can help her work on her shielding," Holly offered. "She is a bit open. I'm assuming that's why she was attacked."

"I was hoping so too," Dumbledore admitted. "Though she reads as tainted."

"Which she probably was, by the hellmouth," Xander pointed out. "So do I according to some people." He looked at Snape. "Any word on if *he* knows?"

Snape stood up. "I've been out of the loop for a bit now. I'm not sure if he knows or if he suspects."

"Then you're pulling out," Harry told him. "I may not like you, but you're too valuable to waste that way." He looked at Dumbledore, watching him stare at Dawn. "This is why we didn't want the information to get around."

"Why we told the two people who needed to know to protect her best," Xander added. "Then some others had to know and you twigged it."

"Yes, well, it has happened in the past," Dumbledore pointed out. "I have to ask, Miss Summers, are you dangerous?"

"Only to those who try to attack or use me," she reminded him. "Anyone who does has one hell of a surprise coming. I may be an airhead sometimes but not all the time." He nodded. "So, now you know."

He nodded. "I do. I wish I didn't. I cannot see how you could fail to be a danger to this school."

"The same way I'm not," Harry reminded him.

"You are," Snape told him. "We've had parents pulling their students out now for two years because you're still here, Potter." He looked at the Headmaster. "Even if she lost total control, the Dark Lord still can't use her."

"That's right. My use-by date as the key has expired for another millennium," Dawn agreed. She tipped her head off to the side. "That means I'm nothing more than a really strong witch." She smiled briefly at Ron. "So, can I stay or should I go shopping for a whole new wardrobe?"

"No, you may stay for now," Dumbledore told her. "This probably is the safest place for you." He looked at Xander. "You knew?"

"Since the day after Buffy found out. That would have been last year," Xander affirmed. "The monks made her of her sister to give her human form."

"Then she really is Buffy's sister?" Draco asked. Dawn nodded. "Wonderful." He smiled and blew a kiss. "Are we nearly done? I was helping find a hidden spot in Slytherin."

Harry looked at him. "Sit and shut it, Dumass." He looked at Dawn. "I've known and I don't care."

"I've known and I don't care either," Ron agreed. "Though if you ever get pregnant I'll probably be really scared that it'll hurt you somehow." He grinned at her.

"Your mother's getting her first grandchild soon enough, I'm sure she'll be too happy to nag," Xander offered, giving him a wink. He ruffled Draco's hair. "You behave. I put that hole there for a reason. Let anyone who wants to be a cursebreaker find it."

Draco shrugged. "Goyle says he can feel it but he can't find the lock."

"I put a special lock," Xander said smugly. "It's not a normal one."

"It's a drop switch," Harry told him. "It's in a snake's mouth, the lower jaw of one of the statues that can move. It's sent by magical currents."

"You remembered that from our second year?" Ron asked. "How?"

"Easy. I was taking a long look around," Harry told him.

"Why were you in my house in our second year?" Draco said, outraged. "I've never broken into Gryffindor!"

Ron gave him a smug little smile. "You invited us in, you nancy ponce." He looked at Dawn again. "Wanna go cuddle?"

"Sure." She looked at Snape, who raised a brow. "But I'm supposed to be catching up." She slumped down a bit. "Can't I be like Neville and just give up, Professor?"

"No. You may not give up until after your fifth year. Until then it is mandatory."

"Fine. Make me sweat a single grade. It's not like Buffy will care." She looked at Xander. "Can't you just ...put potions into my head or something?"

"Sorry, I don't know how to do that," Xander told her. "Ethan does, but he said it'd get most of the memories too."

Dumbledore looked around. "You're all taking this very lightly. She is in grave danger."

"Yay, what do you think she's been in?" Xander asked.

"Must be Tuesday, I'm in danger," Dawn quipped, cracking Harry and Ron up. "They only get into it on Thursday, that way you don't have it all at once."

Draco looked at her. "Now I know you belong with Weasley. He's infected you with his humor," he said with disgust. "Make better jokes around me."

"I've got one about the zebra-striped lesbian hunting lions in the Serengeti," Dawn offered facetiously.

Draco glared. "Don't you dare."

Ron and Harry, who had read the joke, groaned and shuddered. It was juvenile and horrible. "Honey," Ron said sweetly. "Do that to him and the twins promised you a new joke book."

"Okay," Dawn said, nodding and grinning. She adored the twins. Draco hid behind Xander. "Oh, come on."

"Sweetie, no," Xander said, shaking his head. "Please, not now." He looked at the headmaster, who was standing still and pulled his wand, taking Draco's hand in his.

"Don't do it," Dumbledore warned. He looked at him. "I'm mostly impervious to memory charms, even good ones, Mr. Dumass."

"You know I'd do anything to protect Dawn," Xander reminded him. He pulled Draco around to cuddle him. He seemed to think much more clearly with him in his arms. "So, now what?"

"Now I go back to my review, you guys go make Slytherin sing with groans, Ron and Harry either go play or wait for me outside while I'm trapped in this miasma of mediocrity in my performance. Or Professor Snape could be really generous then we could go make all my housemates groan with envy, Slytherin groan, and Harry can go play in the sunshine with everyone else and listen to Luna go over Ethan's next lesson for her."

"Miss Lovegood is taking lessons from him?" Snape asked.

Dawn looked over at him and nodded. "She seems to like his lessons. Said something about him being well broken for saddles and riding...." Snape spluttered. "Sorry, sir, though she has admitted that Wesley is more a placid stallion than a pony for her and she's the one who needs more breaking in."

"Out," Snape ordered, pointing at the door.

"Okay." She grinned at Ron. "Buffy sent me a catalog with Spike's handwriting on the letter. Wanna look at the handcuffs?"

Ron giggled nervously. "I don't really play that way, Dawn."

She shrugged and gave him a sexy grin. "But the pictures are fascinating." He shrugged and followed her out.

"See, I knew she was a Dumass," Xander said. "She's just like the rest of the clan. I bet if we looked, we could even find one of us in Buffy's family tree." He gave Draco a squeeze. "Come on, I'll show you the trip to that trigger." He winked at Harry as he walked his pookie bear out.

Harry held in his giggles until they were gone, then let loose. "Oh, they're so bad," he pointed out. He waved at Snape. "I'm going to go read my latest fanmail and answer more of it. Have fun worrying about our sanity, sirs."

The Headmaster looked at his teacher. "Are you confident that she is safe here?" he asked quietly.

"I am," Snape agreed. "Even if the Dark Lord attacks today, she has a plan in place to get out of the castle, taking as many people as possible with her. He can't use her anyway."

"If you're sure, then I will leave this in your hands, Severus."

"We had it handled, Headmaster. You wanted to know."

"Yes, I did, didn't I?" he asked, walking out. Some days he felt very old. The sound of laughter from further up the hall cheered him up some, but he still felt very old. He had remembered how long ago he had first heard about the Key. Now it was an engaging fifteen-year-old girl who was protected whether or not she needed it. He only hoped the school would survive her tenure.

Holly looked at Severus. "Up for a game of chess? Luna's too engrossed in her lessons to come help me."

"What is he teaching the girl?"

"Presently, sex magic," she said bluntly. He repeated the phrase without sound. "Power raising mostly." She took his arm to walk him down to her rooms. "I have some fascinating books from him on the subject. If you want, you can read them, Sev."

"I wouldn't mind, just in case she becomes a threat." He let her proceed him into the room and locked them in. That way no one could bother them. She was a very sweet woman who hadn't aided in the plan to marry him off. His great-aunt had very good taste. Though he was still fighting it.

***

Tip Top finished writing the professional letter and sprayed the special legal affixer to it. Then she rolled it up and handed it to her owl. "I know they're muggle," she said at the disgruntled feather ruffling. "They're threatening Harry. You like Harry. They were mean to him." The owl flew off without any more complaints. Tip Top leaned back in her chair and rubbed her stomach. "You hungry?" Of course it was too early so she wasn't kicked in response. "Come on, we'll go steal one of the twins to make us lunch." She heaved herself up, already feeling fat. As soon as she was up she started to feel dizzy and grabbed for the edge of the desk, but it wasn't going to help this time. She passed out, landing beside her chair.

***

Methos and Draco both lifted their heads, scowling. Then they looked at each other. "Go," Methos told him. "That was Ramvette." Draco nodded and left his things there, trusting someone to pick them up for him. He met Harry and Ron at the floo, sending themselves to the local house first.

Harry found her. "Ron! Call the twins, she's unconscious," Harry yelled, hurrying in to help her. He checked her pulse. Perfectly fine feeling, not weak in the least. "What happened?" he asked, starting to get really upset.

Draco called for his healers and went to help. "Calm yourself," he snapped. "Getting upset won't do her any good."

"Tipsy," one of the twins yelled as they ran in. They pushed the younger men out of the way and picked her up, laying her on the couch. "What happened? All we felt was a loss."

"I've called the healers," Draco told him.

"She was laying like she had passed out," Harry offered, standing up to come over and do what he could. This was one area he was deficient in. Ron gently moved him out of the way as someone else came rushing down the hall. It turned out to be a healer. "We think she passed out. She's pregnant."

"That's fine, step back a bit," the healer ordered.

"No way," George told her. "She's our wife." The healer shrugged and knelt beside the couch to examine her. He and Fred clutched at each other while they watched. The healer finally nodded and put a small patch onto her arm. "Is it serious?"

"Is it the baby?" Fred asked.

"Is she miscarrying? She has once," George offered.

"Or is it something worse? She said bad things could happen because of her age."

"Calm down," the healer said calmly, looking at them. Harry helped her to her feet. "She did pass out. She's a bit vitamin deficient and I've put some medicine on to help her with that." The twins nodded, looking eager. "Take her to her regular healer and have them give her the fullest workup possible. Even a muggle doctor would be fine. For now, let her finish her nap and have someone prepare her some soup or something light. Got it?" They nodded. "Good boys. I'm sure you'll spoil her until she screams but she needs it. She's in very good condition for her age and it should be fine." She looked at the younger ones, then nodded. "Go get sick," she offered. Harry ran out, going to do just that.

"You'd think he'd be the one to handle such things," Draco snorted.

"He's never seen anyone sick," Ron said quietly. He looked at the healer. Then at the twins. "One of you go back to the store and switch off until I can get mum here."

"What the hell is going on?" Juliette yelled as she walked down the hall. She slammed the door open. "I was in a meeting, what happened? Was she attacked?"

"Passed out," Ron told her, giving her a smile. "We're setting watch times."

Juliette nodded. "That's fine. Boys, go back to the shop for now. One of you can be here at a time." They looked hurt. "You can't afford to close for a whole day yet. Either one of you goes back or get some of your relatives to watch it for you."

Xander walked in, sweaty and dripping. "What's going on?"

"Tipsy passed out." She grimaced. "Eww."

"Sorry, I was moving heavy stuff." He looked at Tipsy. "My thing is not medical. I can only bandage. Is there a price list at the store?" The twins nodded. "Then I'll do that and see if I can spring Ginny." He took another look around. "Harry?"

"The one getting violently ill," Draco told him. "I'd kiss you but you're rather nasty."

"Shit happens when you do manual labor." He looked at the twins. "I'll go now, but bring a towel. Come back after she's awake." He headed through the floo to do that, calling the school for the kids. "Hey, it's me. Tip Top just passed out and every Bane felt it," he explained. "She'll be fine. Ron, Harry, and Draco will all be back shortly. Can I borrow Ginny though? The twins want to stick beside her and I know Ginny has a free class right about now."

"I'll send her over for that class only," McGonagall told him. "Keep me informed if anything changes."

He nodded and stood up, breaking the connection. Everyone in the store looked at him. "Their wife passed out." He pointed at the balloons. "She's fine but they're fussing over her. I'm Xander, a friend of theirs." He moved behind the counter.

"Why are you all sweaty?" one very young child asked, giving him an adoring look.

"Because I was moving really big boxes full of stuff," he said with a smile. "I had to because water was seeping in near them from the moat protecting it."

"Wow, do you live in a castle?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Not quite. But the moat now has a monster in it to protect the treasures." He grinned at her mother, who was rolling her eyes. "I'm a cursebreaker. It's my work space."

"No wonder you have a moat," the mother said, shaking her head. "Pay the nice man for your new toy," she said.

Xander took the toy and looked at the list. Then at the mother. "You do know this has little parts?" She frowned. "I'm all for safety warnings for little kids. I finished growing up in America. I always make sure of those sort of things when I'm helping out."

"That's fine, I'm sure she won't choke," the mother said tolerantly. She let her daughter pay for her toy and then left, dragging her out of the alley. Really, and he probably wasn't even a parent. Though she understood, he was a man and unaware of how much a mother knew about what her children were doing.

Xander gave the other parents his best 'little boy caught trying to be good' look. "Sorry, but I worry." They agreed it was thoughtful and that it was okay.

One girl looked at him. "Why don't the owners put the things for the littler kids on the bottoms shelves and the stuff for the older ones on the higher ones?"

Xander leaned on the counter to look down at her. "Because they pointed out that some kids are older than they seem and there are some people who are kinda short. But I tell you what, why don't you draw out your ideas and send it to them? They listen to customers more than anyone else because you guys keep them in business. So if you draw it out for them and explain it then it's likely to get done faster."

"Okay," she agreed, looking up at her mom.

"I'm sure they'll listen," her mother said patiently.

Xander shrugged. "They can be stubborn, but kids like yours do keep them in business and keeping the kids happy is what they like to do." He grinned. "Besides, they never listen to me. I'm only the one training Ron."

She gaped. "You're Alex Dumass?"

He nodded. "Alexander Dumass," he said, shaking her hand.

"Wow," the little girl said. "You really know *Ron*?'

He smiled and nodded. "Very well. I'm teaching Ron and Harry both how to do my job and Ron's girlfriend Dawn is taking the beginning lessons now."

"Wow," the little girl said again. "You are cool by default," she said, handing over her toys. "Mommy, pay the man so I can write out my ideas. That way I can slip in a nice note for Ron for his girlfriend." Her mother rolled her eyes and shared a smile with Xander but she did pay for everything.

Xander was quickly overwhelmed by the crowds, but he made sure the people who wanted to check out could do so first. Ginny came rolling out of the floo and came over to help, taking more of them while he chatted. He grinned at her and some of the younger kids went over to talk to her about Ron. She would know more after all, she was his little sister.

***

Harry walked down the streets in Diagon, looking for the shop.

"Oh, bloody hell, you're Harry Potter," some older woman said loudly, rushing up to him. She stopped when she noticed his panicked look. "Sorry." She smiled and held out a hand. "I'm Thelma Thurston, editor of Teen Witch Weekly."

Harry shook her hand and blushed. "Hi. Nice to, um, meet you." He glanced around, people were staring at him.

"Oh, you weren't acting," she said, pulling him closer to give him a hug. She could feel his blush through her clothes so she let him go. "Don't you worry, we've had more questions and I wanted to know if you'd consent to do a small follow up for us? Maybe answer written questions?"

He stammered a bit then finally nodded. "I've got to, um, aah, got to pick up stuff for Madam Pomfrey," he said, holding out the list. "Do you know where this one is?"

She gave him a motherly pat on the back and turned him around, pointing at the sign. "Right there, Harry." She gave him a gentle push and he gave her a grateful smile and a wave before trotting off just fast enough to seem like he was running away from her. "That poor dear, I thought that was all an act." She sighed and went back to her offices to note the encounter and write a short 'gossip point' about it. She made sure she pointed out that he blushed and stammered and looked very lost when she had called his name. Her girls would eat that up. It even fit into a blank spot they had from someone pulling out an ad. So it went into this month's issue.

***

Harry handed over the bag to the school nurse. "Here you go. Please, send Malfoy next time," he pleaded.

"Were you mobbed?" she teased, pinching him on the cheek.

"No, but the editor for Teen Witch Weekly cornered me and I stammered," he said, blushing in embarrassment this time. "She grabbed me and hugged me, Madam Pomfrey."

"I'm sure it'll be fine," she said patiently. "Why don't you go back to class? I'll be sure to find someone who's less popular next time." She waited until he was gone to cackle in laughter. That poor boy! If she hadn't known it wasn't an act, she wouldn't have believed him to be shy either.

***

Two weeks later, Harry looked up in shock as the owls started to hoot as they came in. There hadn't been this many in months. "Ron, your fanmail's here," he said, grinning at his friend. Most of owls did land on their table and he helpfully started to pull off letters and pile them up. Ron would hand him any that were his. One he knew was his because it said 'complimentary copy for Harry Potter' across the strap holding it down. He put that next to his plate and continued on, enjoying his friend getting all the attention. At least it wasn't for him. He noticed Ginny took his Teen Witch Weekly copy and let her, she probably wanted to look at the fashions. As soon as everything was gathered up, the owls flew off, a few more coming over to deposit more mail. Ron carefully stacked it and started to sort it out by which one of them got it. Ginny burst out in giggles. "What?" Harry asked her. "Something funny with Ron's picture?"

"No, you," she said, handing over the marked page. "When did you sneak off?"

"Madam Pomfrey sent me because I had a free period and I was going to get into trouble," he told her, frowning as he read the 'gossip point'. "Dirt." He handed it to Ron and looked at the piles. "Switching sides today?"

"No, most of them are yours," Ron told him, handing him his stack of mail. He read the point, then flipped through to see if he was mentioned again. He stopped at a small article, nudging Harry and handing it back. "At least we know why now." He shifted down on the bench, letting Harry have some room in case he exploded at someone.

"Cho!" Harry yelled. "That's really unfair!"

"It's true, Harry, and we both know it's true. If it wasn't for Hermione, you'd never be in the same room as a girl."

"That's right, if Hermione didn't try and make you see all girls weren't aliens, we'd never see you," Susan Bones pointed out.

"It's nice that you have a tamed girl to teach you about them," one of Dawn's housemates offered. "We're all really thankful that Hermione sees fit to put up with your shyness and makes you try to interact with girls."

Harry let the magazine drop from his hands. "That's not fair! I don't understand you guys!"

"And you probably never will," Dawn said wisely. "It is a rare man that understands women and most of them used to be women but opted for surgical fixing." The girls around her looked at her. "You guys don't have transexuals over here? They're really nice, just stuck in the wrong body. Wow, and Giles used to say that Britain was so much more liberal and tolerant."

Harry pouted at Ginny, who shrugged. "They asked, Harry. All I told them was that it wasn't an act. Girls make you sweaty and shivery."

Hermione dug through Harry's letters. "Here's one from Xander," she said, hoping it would take Harry's mind off the problem. She glared at Ginny. "You nearly drove him into seclusion," she hissed. "We'll never get him comfortable around women now."

Harry shot a glare at her, having heard that last part. But he opened the letter instead of retorting.

First thing, calm down.

It can get a lot worse. There are many worse things to be than shy, Harry. Trust me, I am famous and I know all. Really, being thought of as shy and confused is not a big problem. Lots of women like shy guys, as I'm sure you're going to find out soon by the increase in fanmail. Just remember, those girls don't really know the real you and you can be whatever you want, including the guy who waits for the right girl. There is nothing at all wrong with waiting for the sex stuff or even for the dating stuff. You need someone who makes you feel like Dawn makes Ron feel. I fully stand behind you waiting for her, Harry, and remember, it isn't as bad as you think. You can do a lot to help lots of shy people all over the world because you are.

So take a few deep breaths and forget about hunting the girls in your school down to torture them for saying those things. It won't do any good and your rep will only get worse, then you'll get the sickos who want you to hurt them.

Big hugs,

Xander.

Harry was giving the paper a sappy grin when it was taken from his hand. "Xander telling me to calm down and not hurt the girls who said I was horrible around women," he explained. Snape looked down at him. "It's not my fault! All I did was run an errand for Madam Pomfrey. She cornered me and I didn't have time to react and think."

Hermione gave him a gentle smile. "Harry, you would have stammered and blushed anyway," she pointed out. "You're like that. We all understand, that's why we're keeping the hunting of you down to a minimum."

"Yeah, Hermione and I have been driving off the most aggressive women for years," Ginny agreed.

"Can you stop doing that now? Please?" Lavender Brown asked from further up the table. "Let Harry fend for himself for a bit."

Harry had this sudden picture of his picture on a wanted poster and the words underneath said 'open season'. He bolted from the room, going to hide in the Chamber of Secrets. He would come out when those scary things left school.

"Does anyone else know snake?" Ron asked. "Otherwise we'll never get him out of the Chamber."

A few girls took off running after him, hoping to catch and capture him before he made it down there. They heard more running feet and let the faster moving ones pass them. Harry was one fast little guy.

Harry was just about to duck down into the chamber when he felt himself be grabbed and carried off. "Let me down," he begged. "Please? I promise I won't run right this moment." He found himself carried into Slytherin and locked in one of the girls' dorm rooms. "Oh, come on," he said, pounding on the door. "Let me out! This isn't even my house, please let me out!" He patted himself down for his wand but it had been taken from him by all those grabbing hands. "Please!" he begged, trying for louder. "Let me out! I promise I'll even go to class and behave like a normal boy!"

***

After two classes with no return of Harry, McGonagall had all the girls called into the Great Hall and locked them in with Madam Sprout. "Now, where is my seeker?" she asked them. None of the girls said anything.

"We really are worried about the poor dear," Madam Sprout told them. "He didn't get to eat breakfast and he was obviously upset before you caught him."

"It's no fun hunting him if you've got him tied up," McGonagall said after a few more minutes of silence. The door cracked open and Draco Malfoy-Dumass walked in. "How did you unlock that?"

"Easy, I'm married to a cursebreaker who likes to break lock charms," Draco pointed out. He looked at the women. "Xander has said that if Potter doesn't reappear very quickly then he will pull the boy out of school for his own good." McGonagall groaned and had to be helped to a seat. "That means none of you will ever see him again because Xander can send him to Egypt and make sure his assignments are all there. Forever. After all, the cowed and fearful witches down there won't cause him problems and will gladly do *anything* to be married to him. Including wait on him hand and foot and do odd sexual things for his delight." He looked at the very guilty looking girls from his house. "He's in Slytherin somewhere," he told the teachers.

"We were going to give him back," Pansy whined. "Later."

Millicent nodded. "After we convinced him that he'd like us better than some froofy girly girls."

Draco sneered at them. "Just wait until Snape hears about you letting Gryffs into our tower. You thought he yelled at me?" They shuddered and clutched each other. "Where is he?"

"In the first year girl's dorm," Pansy sighed. "It's better hidden and they won't jump Harry." One of them laughed, making the older girls all glare at her. "They won't if they know what's good for them," Pansy pointed out coldly.

Draco rolled his eyes and left, going to tell Snape where he was. The male teachers were in the staff lounge. "He's in the first year girls' dorm in Slytherin courtesy of Pansy and Millicent," he told them. Snape looked at him. "They admitted that they put him there because it's hard to find and supposedly the girls wouldn't jump him."

"Has anyone given thought to the lock charm that must be in use?" Professor Flitwick asked. "Harry is quite good with locks."

"At least Dumass has probably been in that room too," Dumbledore pointed out.

"He'd never touch first years," Draco said coldly. "Not even as one." He looked at his head of house again. "He wanted to know if he was needed. He's presently waiting hand and foot on Tip Top since the boys are stocking today."

"We might be able to handle it," Snape told him, being very sarcastic as he nodded toward the door. "After you, Professor Flitwick?" They walked down there together, going to let the young man out. The hall down there was twisted and damp, and there was little light. Harry's wand wasn't lying anywhere that they could see so they assumed it was on him. Snape let the Charms teacher at the door first.

Flitwick looked at the door. "I've never seen such a charm before." He heard muffled pounding. "And a silencing charm, very ingenious. We shall have to see the perpetrators in my NEWT class." He pulled his wand and glared. "I demand you open!" he said, hitting it with a burst of power. It spit at him.

Snape left him to it, going to get Holly, just in case it had been Lovegood. She had joined in on the chase for some reason. They came back and found the Charms teacher still trying. Holly walked over to help, but together they were acting against each other. "Summers," Snape called, trusting the nearest portrait to find her. She was escorted in by the Headmaster a few minutes later. "Perhaps you can do something about this?"

"I don't know, but I'll try," Dawn promised. She tested the door, then grimaced. "There's a wall in front of it. I can't even see the lock."

"Would more light help?" Holly asked.

"No, it's perfectly clear, but it's like the door is totally solid and there's no handle, no lock, nothing on it. Just one thick panel of wood that goes into the bricks. We may need Xander for this."

"I've never heard of a charm that does that," Flitwick noted.

Dawn looked at him. "There are other apprentice cursebreakers, including a female in your house."

"Yes, I believe we should have them here as well," Dumbledore pointed out. "Severus, don't you have a safety latch? I know you do on the upper form's doors."

"I hadn't thought about them and I don't think it will work, but I will try," he offered. He walked over to a small portrait and whispered something to it. It made a clicking noise and opened, letting him inside. He walked back through the old spying paths to the hidden doorway inside the bathroom, pushing it out. He was pounced by a crying young man, one which clung to him in misery begging to be let go. "Stop that," he said coldly, trying to push the boy off. He felt someone slipping past him and then someone grabbed Harry, letting her cry on him. "Miss Summers. You were not to know about those."

"Tough noogies," Dawn said firmly, leading Harry away. "Come on, Harry, we'll get you settled into the infirmary. Those girls will touch you over my dead body."

"They've got my wand too," he said, starting to sniffle now. He wiped his face off. "Can I please go hide now?" he asked.

"Sure, come on. You can show me this chamber place after Madam Pomfrey checks you over," Dawn said, leading him out without anyone saying anything. The nurse tutted over him and then Dawn took him to the girl's bathroom. "You wait right here. I'm going to chew them a new one." Harry grabbed at her so she stayed with him, letting him take her down into the chamber. She called pillows and let him curl up under her robe while she watched him take an exhaustion nap. "What did those girls do to you?" she muttered.

In another part of the dungeons, Professor Snape was confiscating all the items in the room that had obviously upset the boy. The dolls that had been made of the boy, and made to do various disgusting things, were enough to make him want to cry too. He needed to speak to some of his females about their desire to rip things off and to change the owners. He found the shrine as well, and all the drawings and scrolls of stories seemingly offered in supplication to the big color photo of Harry leaning against his broom with a smile. His house photo for last year's yearbook. "Dumbledore," he called. The headmaster walked in a few minutes later, joining him looking at the shrine. He handed over one of the tied-up dolls, the most tame of the lot, and watched as the headmaster looked around. "I believe we need to have a discussion with a few of the young ladies." He saw the look at the box of things he had already confiscated and handed over another, clearly castrated, bound, and with a gag forced into it's mouth. Again, fairly tame compared to some of them.

"I believe you should call your entire house together and talk about this," Dumbledore agreed.

"And I should say what?"

"That the school does not condone acts of violence against other students." He handed the dolls back, letting him deal with this.

Upstairs, the talk was already beginning. Once the teachers had left, Hermione and Ginny had sealed the door. "Ladies," Hermione said. "Dawn sent me a short message. Did you know that some of the Slytherin first year had a thing for mutilation of their wanted man?" She stepped forward as the other girls turned on all the Slytherins. "Not only was Harry so upset he was crying, he clung to Professor Snape because of some of the things he found while he was trapped in their rooms." Someone pounded on the doors. "Go away! We're having a girl talk!" She turned to glare at the girls again. "I believe we should teach them better manners."

"Kidnaping is one thing, and I'm all for stealing Harry for a quiet moment or two," Ginny added. "Some of the things Dawn found were simply disgusting. Like cutting him into pieces disgusting."

"How dare you threaten our Harry!" One of the Hufflepuffs shouted, lunging at the younger girls. Of course, the other Hufflepuffs never let one go where twenty could go, so they joined in fairly quickly. They proved the old saying of never taking away a good child's toy because they will instantly become a bad child and start to wreck things to get it back.

By the time they were done, most of the house needed some salves and ice packs and the rest of the girls in the school felt much better. One of the Ravenclaw seventh years looked at Ginny. "Where is he now?"

"Dawn took him down into the chamber and is watching him," Ginny told her. "By the way, she said one of you has his wand. He will need it for classes." She unlocked the door and walked out. Everyone who hadn't been a victim followed.

Luna paused at the doorway. "You know, there are worse things. I know someone who can introduce you to them," she told them. Then she skipped off to class, humming a happy little song.

***

At the end of the week, Harry reluctantly let Dawn help him back up to the main school, surprising the guard the girls had put over the bathroom. "Hi," he said weakly.

The Hufflepuff of the pair hugged him. "It's all right, Harry, they're very sorry they did that to you," she promised.

"We still haven't found your wand though," the fifth year Gryffindor reported. "We're searching. All the good girls in the school are." She gave him a friendly pat and a nod at Dawn. "The Headmaster wants to see him after Madam Pomfrey checks on him." They left the room, going to their next class. Harry probably needed a few minutes to adjust himself.

Dawn smiled at Harry. "See, most of them aren't like the Slytherins." She took him by the arm. "Like I said, they get to you over my dead body," she promised. She walked him out and took the back way he knew up to the infirmary. "Madam Pomfrey, I got him out."

"Oh, Harry," she sighed, coming over to hug him. "You poor thing." She led him back into her private office to check him over and to talk with him. He probably needed some counseling. She had seen what those first years had been forced to destroy by Professor Snape. When she was sure he was better, she called a house elf and instructed it to get him some clothes from his trunk and to bring them back here before the Headmaster came down. Harry could stay in here today. That way none of those wretched beasts could get close to him.

Ron brought in the clothes and gave Harry a grin and a punch on the arm. "You okay there, Harry?"

"Better," Harry admitted. "I'm not having visions of me being mutilated anymore."

Ron nodded. "Good. I'd like to kick their asses myself but Ginny assured me that the girls took care of them for you. Apparently the Hufflepuffs and Gryff girls got really upset with what Dawn told them was found."

"How did she do that?" Madam Pomfrey asked. "She never left his side."

"I'm guessing she projected somehow," Ron said with a shrug. He let Harry into the bathroom after checking it for him, then stood guard over the door. "Dawn, how did you tell Hermione and Ginny."

"I got really pissed and wanted to tell them," she said with a shrug. "Not a clue otherwise. Harry was just in really bad shape and he was babbling about what some dolls and some pictures of him."

"Rest assured, Professor Snape had those girls destroy all those things," Madam Pomfrey told her. She grimaced as Draco walked in with a bag. "What do you want?"

"Xander sent this for Harry." He handed it to Ron. "The headmaster gave it a look over but I'm not sure what's in it." He looked at Dawn. "Did you like the chamber?"

"It was gross and slimy," she told him. "Just like some of your brethren."

He gave her a tolerant smile. "That is true, but not of the best of us." He looked over as Potter came out dressed in his jammies. "My consort sent you that," he announced, pointing at the bag.

"Is my wand in it?" Harry asked.

"No. Xander was still throwing a fit about that staying missing earlier," Draco admitted. He watched as the boy was put into bed and guarded by the cute couple. "Dawn, perhaps you should go shower and change as well," he suggested. "You look a bit...scruffy."

She shrugged. "Only if someone I trust comes up to watch with Ron. I'm not leaving him with only one guard and Madam Pomfrey has work to do," she said to ease the older woman's hard look at her.

"I'll find Lovegood," Draco sighed, going to do that. He found her dancing outside of Potions. "Are you mental?"

She smiled and held out the letter. "I finally got a real love letter from my stallions," she said happily.

"Good, go read it to Potter in the infirmary so Dawn can bathe and change." She nodded and hurried off.

"I was not aware you could dismiss students to do a task," Snape said from behind him.

Draco looked at him. "If I had been him, I wouldn't let go of Dawn either. She's a formidable witch. Unfortunately she's bathed in the Chamber for the last few days and is wearing the same outfit. Lovegood is decent enough and Potter probably trusts her. If not, Weasley is there and it stops her singing outside your classroom about her sexual partners and exploits." He raised a brow. "Who made those dolls?"

"One of the girls apparently has an older sister who took Alternative Magical Styles while it was taught here. They were voodoo dolls without any charming agents. He had right to be scared of them."

"Interesting." Draco strolled off, going back to Charms. He took his seat with a nod for the teacher.

"Is he out?" Professor Flitwick asked.

"And in the infirmary to make sure he's not hurt. That way he has time to calm down. Weasley, Lovegood, and Summers are watching over him now."

"That's fine, I'll release them from my class for today," Flitwick promised. He looked at the Ravenclaw/Slytherin class. "Since this incident, I thought it prudent to go over locking charms. Some of you know the basic 'Alohoamora' charm. Some of you do not. We will start there. In the practical room there are locks of all sizes. Someone please get them." They floated in and he didn't think anything of it. "Thank you, whomever did that. Each of you take a lock and work in pairs."

The Slytherins worked in groups. Each of them looked at their lock before doing anything. The boys-only pairs got theirs open with a bit of teaching by the ones who knew. The ones with boy-girl pairs had locks that gave off smoke. The girls all shifted uncomfortably when they saw images in the smoke, but the boys didn't seem to see anything. The girl-only pairs quickly started to scream and try to get away from their locks. Their smoke had shown them horrible things happening to them. The same sort of things they hand wanted to do to Potter. They started to cry, hiding behind the clueless boys. One of the girls tossed down a wand and ran from the room crying.

Draco looked back at the group, then shrugged at the look the teacher was giving him. "It wasn't me. It was probably one of Potter's ...fans," he finish smugly, noticing the Bane marking on one of the locks that the girl-only pairs had used. He opened his own lock and looked at the teacher. "Which one is next?"

Flitwick looked at him. "The freezing lock opener." Draco nodded and opened his book to read up on that one. "Settle down and get back to work," he ordered, picking up the thrown wand. Holly. Just the one the school had been looking for. He examined a lock and found the small marking himself, grimacing. "I remember teaching them that," he said fondly, going back to his pile of pillows. "Get back to work or I shall have to take off points," he demanded. The wand disappeared from his hand and Draco gave him a small incline of his head saying he had done that. "Thank you, Mr. Dumass. Five points to you. I'm sure Harry is curled up around it."

"Hopefully," he agreed. "He might need it." Draco went back to his reading while the teacher tried to calm down everyone else. What fun his new friends could come up with when challenged.

Help!

Greg looked at the test strip in his hand, then frowned and stuck it into the machine. Then he had to jump because someone had just cleared their throat behind him. "Hi, Grissom."

"Are you using the machine for your own personal use?"

"It's a pregnancy test. Emilia's refusing to see anyone," he said, still frowning. The printer spit out a report but Grissom grabbed it. "I bought the test strips myself," he said.

"Greg, you cannot use the machine for your personal experiments."

"It's not an experiment it's a necessity before I go insane," Greg said, trying to get the paper. "Come on, this is my wife we're talking about!"

Grissom looked at the paper, then over at Greg, handing it over. "Do not do it again."

"I hadn't planned on doing it this time but we got conflicting answers on the home tests." He sniffed and avoided the paper. "Do I want to know?" Grissom gave him a look so he glanced at it, then he shuddered and put it down. "I'm not ready for that yet."

"Greg, it's a negative test," Grissom said, patting him on the back. "Sometimes the home tests don't work."

Greg picked up the paper and stared at it. "Then why is she getting five positive and four negative?"

"You only bought nine?"

"Odd number of results means that you can't get an equal split," he pointed out. "I don't know how to make one of ours and she wouldn't let me call and ask. The nine EPT's didn't agree. And I bought the testing strips myself."

"That's fine, Greg, next time ask first," Grissom sighed, taking the folder Greg handed him. "Are you sure this is mine?"

He looked at the results. "Dirt, hair, skin, semen, and various fluids," he said as he pointed at each. He looked at Grissom again. "Trust me, unless you've handed off that db this morning, it's yours."

"Thanks. I never expected this. What swab was this?"

"Ear."

"Her *ear*?" Greg nodded. "Wonderful." He shrugged. "Don't do it again or ask next time." He walked out, leaving the door open. Greg only closed the door when was doing something he shouldn't, that's how he had realized something was going on a few minutes earlier. He went to talk with the doctor, who was gave the results a disturbed look as well. Who had sex in the ear?

***

Greg snuck into his bedroom. Emilia was sleeping and he was on his dinner break. He had called someone with a bit more experience with women and Penn had told him where to buy the correct tests, pointing out that sometimes the muggle ones didn't work on them. He pulled out one strip and opened it, then put it onto her arm. It turned bright pink and he shuddered, which woke his wife. "Look?" he asked, handing over the strip.

She looked at it, then at him. "It's pink."

He handed over the package. "There's forty-nine more in there, we can do however many you want," he told her. "I want one off your stomach though." She looked from the box, to him, then back. "Please? For my own piece of mind?"

She sighed and opened another strip, putting onto her bare stomach under the sheet. After a moment, she pulled it out and looked at it. "This one is blue."

"That's it, you're going to see a healer even if I have to put chains on you and carry you there, Emilia." He pulled her up to hug. "This getting conflicting answers isn't good for you. It could mean something is really wrong and I don't want to lose you, so please go for me? Please?"

"Fine, I'll go see a healer," she agreed before he could start crying. He was going to get emotional. "I know I'm not but I'll go see someone anyway, all right?" He nodded, giving her a smile and a piece of paper. "What's this?"

"The only healer in the area."

"And you got this name, how?" she asked.

"Penn, the same way I found out about the strips," he told her.

"You told Penn I was pregnant?" He shook his head. "So you told him all of it?" He nodded, giving her a smug look. She pinched him hard, making him wince. "Privacy, Greg?"

"Is something I believe in but I'm willing to throw it out the window of the highest casino if it means you're all right," he said honestly.

She had to go 'awww' at that and hug him, it was the only response. So she did. Then she let him pull back. "You're supposed to be at work."

"I'm on break and I came to see you." He checked his watch. "I am due back in about five more minutes and I might have a long night." He stole a kiss. "Tell me when and I'll go with you?" She nodded patiently, giving him a pat on the head. "If you are, then at least Tip Top won't be alone and you'll have someone to complain with."

"True," she agreed, watching as he backed away. "Go." He waved and blew a kiss, then left. She flopped back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. "What a way to get woken up." She unwrapped more of the strips and laid them across her stomach in rows. The strips would keep their color forever, they were charmed so that she could have given one to Greg in a few days when she was ready. Again, she got mixed results. 24 pink, 14 blue and 12 tan meaning she wasn't according to the box. She carefully put them into a baggie and then went back to sleep, dreaming odd dreams about strips and test tubes coming after her.

***

Dawn looked around the Great Hall. Some of the kids were looking at her then looking away. She checked herself, impeccable as always. She looked toward her friends but she was the first one up this morning. She noticed a few of Draco's housemates chatting with each other and staring at her too, and figured it was another rumor. She took her usual seat and looked at her roommates. "Okay, give, what's being said about me now?" she asked.

"Um, you were seen buying baby things," one of them told her.

"Yeah, Ron's older brothers, the twins, their wife's pregnant. Ron and I have both been shopping for her, and possibly another one of Xander's friends."

"Oh." She looked relieved. "Then you're not...."

"No," she said, shaking her head. Dawn stood up and walked over to the Slytherin table, looking down at the gossip whores. "We've been buying baby things because the Weasley twins's wife is stuffed up, not me. If you had *asked* I would have told you that. Or if you had read the paper considering it was slipped in by one of their customers." She shrugged. "Nothing more interesting than that." She went back to her seat, smiling at the girls around her. "Spread the truth back, okay?"

"What are they having?" one of the older girls, a fourth year, asked.

"She announced that it was a boy but they're not sure if they're twins or not. So Ron and I are making her a killer basket for the baby. It's gonna be huge and full of stuff." She grinned. "We're still looking for the right sort of fuzzy blanket and a few new stuffed animals to go with the clothes. Mostly because I've claimed some of the stuffed animals as my own."

The other girls laughed and chatted, and the truth got spread the other way.

Draco walked in and came over to kiss Dawn on the forehead. "Baby gifts?"

"Tip Top."

"Thank you." He went to sit down, nodding at his housemates. "They're for one of the Banes."

"So she said," Millicent said, starting to pout. "She actually came over and *talked* to us directly, Draco. You've got to train her right."

"Bulstrode, of course she did. Dawn is a very direct young woman. Why wouldn't she come and face you down directly over the filth you've been spreading. Oh, by the way, they weren't in the Astronomy tower that night. They were having detention with Snape for necking outside his classroom. He said so." She pouted even worse and Draco pulled over his usual breakfast.

Ginny bounced in and hugged Dawn. "That is going to be one kick-ass baby," she said happily.

"We're shopping for Tip Top."

"I know," Ginny snorted, grinning at her. "Just think, three prankers having kids."

"Do we know it is kids?" Dawn asked.

Ron walked in and over, disengaging his sister from his girlfriend. "Gossip after breakfast," he said, sending Dawn a smile. "Did you steal more of the animals?"

"I replaced the two we agreed on that I stole," she said with a grin of her own. "I missed having a bed full of fluffy things."

"I'm buying you a cat to go with the dog," Ron warned. He listened, no bark. "Where is Midnight?"

"He decided to sleep in this morning so I left him in the common room in front of the fireplace. I'll go get him after I eat."

"Okay. Then I'll meet you in the entry." She nodded. She hated that she couldn't take him everywhere but he seemed to like to go to Magical Creatures with Ron. Ron dragged Ginny away, making sure she ate something. Their mother would be upset otherwise.

Hermione got her copy of the paper with the flurry of mail and opened it, then screamed in outrage. "Ron, do something about them!" she demanded.

Ron snatched the paper and walked out, heading to a floo. First he called his mother. Then the paper to chew them out this time. His mother needed to know first because she would kill him. The editor herself popped up. He held up the paper. "Not true in the least."

"You were seen buying baby items."

"And not three days ago you reported that my just older brothers are expecting," he pointed out. She frowned. He nodded. "Really. You did. Do you want to go look while I wait?" She slowly shook his head. "The only baby items I've been buying have been for them. For the baby shower. I'm sure you know what one of those is?" She groaned. "Now, I'd appreciate a retraction, and so would my girlfriend. Otherwise, we're coming down there and we're going to destroy your...." Harry covered his mouth. "Harry!" he mumbled.

Harry looked at the woman's head. "Either you clear up this mess before you ruin both of their reputations or he has a legal suit against you for slander and for ruining his good name. I suggest you do so before I have to call the attorney dealing with a current legal matter of mine." She nodded quickly. "And I do mean a full retraction with the truth. You can quote me as a source if you want. Ron and Dawn are buying baby items for the twin's soon-to-be born offspring. Though she has managed to claim some of the stuffed animals as her own and replaced them for the baby."

"Yes, Mr. Potter," she said, her head disappearing.

Harry let go of Ron's mouth. "Threatening them means they can call the cops and then you'll spend all morning with the Ministry." He walked away, going to Hufflepuff since he hadn't seen Midnight and he wanted to drag him around today. He looked at the portrait, who was smiling at him. "I just need Midnight," he told her. "Please?"

"There are a few girls in there petting him right now, go ahead," she agreed, letting him in.

Harry walked in and the girls looked at him, looking very scared. "What's wrong? Is he sick?"

"He doesn't want to stay awake," one of the girls said, standing up. "I heard Dawn say she'd be back up for him and I think someone's done something to him."

"That's fine, I'll take him out to Hagrid."

"He threw up green stuff," the girl told him, pointing at it.

Harry glanced at it. "Can you please gather that together in a sample case from your potions supplies? I'll bring him to Madam Pomfrey." They nodded and scrambled to get some stuff for him, watching as he scraped the stuff off the bricks since they did not touch such nasty stuff. Then he capped it and picked up the dog, carrying him up the stairs. He took a route that would avoid the Great Hall, knowing one of them would tell Dawn as soon as they saw her. "Madam Pomfrey?" he called as soon as he walked in. She gave him a look. "He threw up something green and acidic. He doesn't want to wake up. I think he's been poisoned."

She pointed at a bed, which she covered with a germ-proof sheet. "Fine, let me have a look at him. What did Miss Summers name him?"

"Midnight." He saw the tail barely moving. "That's not normal. He's a very bouncy and active puppy. Who eats whatever someone gives him."

"That may be the problem," she agreed, sniffing his breath. "Toadstools, snake venom, seaweed." She took the sample he held out and sniffed it. "I need Professor Snape immediately, Mr. Potter."

"Should I get Hagrid too?"

"Please, and tell Dawn if possible?"

He nodded, hurrying down to the Great Hall. He still beat those girls down. He walked up to the table and stood near the center, more on Snape's side. "Sirs, Madam Pomfrey needs Professors Snape and Hagrid right now in the infirmary." He looked at Snape. "She said something about seaweed, snake venom, and toadstools." He wiped his mouth and left immediately. Hagrid was staring at him. "It's Midnight," he said quietly. Hagrid hurried out, going as quickly as he could. Harry went to where Dawn was chatting, ignoring everything else. He sat beside her with a small smile of apology for the person on her left, and turned to look at the Slytherin table. "Dawn?" She looked at him, they were facing each other. "I went up to gather Midnight." She held her breath. "He's not doing well."

"Did he die?" she asked, starting to tear up. He pulled her close immediately. "Did he?"

"No, and we're hoping he doesn't. Some of the nice girls in your house were trying to help him and they told me what they noticed. I took him up to Madam Pomfrey immediately." He pushed her back a bit to look at her again. "Snape just went up too." She started to really cry. "Come on, I'll walk you up there," he promised, leading her up the stairs. He gave Ron a look and mouthed 'Midnight', making him look furious. He walked her up the shortest way possible, taking a shortcut up an unusual hall. Not that she noticed. They came out on the other side of the door and he let her go, watching as she rushed in. He walked in and found Snape staring at her. "Xander gave her the dog," he said calmly. He walked over to hold Dawn, letting her stay out of the way yet still close enough to touch him when people weren't crowded around him.

Snape frowned as he checked his test result. "They used very little. That speaks of their intent being non-lethal."

"They tried to kill my dog," Dawn said coldly. "When you find them, they're going to be missing their heads." She glared at the nurse. "Can you tell who, or even how? Was it one of the new rawhides someone bought him last trip in town? Or was it food-based?"

"It had traces of flour and sugar, I'm supposing it was food based," Madam Pomfrey soothed. She heard the running feet and got out of Ron's way, smiling as he pulled Dawn away from Harry and held her as tightly as he could. "We are trying to figure out who right now, Miss Summers. Sit on the next bed and wait with whomever you want. I will excuse them for now." She nodded, sitting between Ron and Harry, holding both their hands.

Snape growled at his results and looked at Dawn. "Has he been eating treats from any of the seventh years?"

"We were in the library last night and one of the Ravenclaw ones called him over to feed him cookies," Ron offered. "And another one had something sandwich-like."

"Antidote and venom at the same time," Snape put forth. "Which ones?"

Ron shrugged. "I don't know who they are. I know the one with the sandwich thing is dating Ravenclaw's dark-haired chaser. The other I don't know. I don't pay attention to the older girls for the most part. You might ask Ginny."

"You might ask Draco," Harry offered. "He knows most of the school."

"True." He looked at the nearest painting. "I need Malfoy-Dumass right this instant and Flitwick." She nodded and hurried off. He looked at the girl. "He will live. They did not mean to harm him permanently."

"That doesn't make me feel much better," Dawn pointed out. "I'm still going to find a sword and kill the bitches."

He inclined his head. He could understand that. "Then let us handle it first. Or at least try to. You'd be surprised what some of us can come up with as punishments."

She shrugged. "As long as I get a turn on the paddle." She squeezed their hands as Hagrid flipped her poor puppy over. "Why would they do this? He's been nice to everyone! The only one he barks at is Harry!"

"I don't know," Ron soothed. "But I intend to find out." He kissed her on the cheek. "If you can't cut their heads off first swing, I get the next one."

"And I get one too," Harry added for good measure. "Between us we should be able to get through even with the dullest sword." She laughed and hugged them both, laying her head on Ron's shoulder. Madam Pomfrey looked at him. "You don't think so?"

"I doubt the headmaster would let you."

"They don't know that," Ron pointed out. "This makes the second time girls have come after Dawn. The others were just rumors, this one is much worse."

Professor Flitwick dragged Draco in by his sleeve. "What did he do?"

"He didn't do anything," Dawn said, sounding weary. "He probably knows the girls who were feeding Midnight last night. He's bee poisoned."

Snape looked at the diminutive professor. "The only ones we know were feeding him are two of yours," he said quietly.

Flitwick grimaced. "Then they'll be very sorry young ladies," he said firmly. He walked over and patted Dawn on the knee. "I'm sorry, my dear."

"He won't die," she said, bending down to give him a hug. He squeaked in shock but didn't struggle so she let him go. "Sorry, I'm just in a mood."

"It's all right. It's simply been a very long time since anyone has felt the desire to hold me in such a manner," he said. He patted her on the knee again. "You rest assured, if it was those two girls, they will be facing a panel." He looked around. "Who knows who they were?"

"One of them was the seventh year Ravenclaw who is dating your seventh-year dark haired chaser," Ron told him.

"Melinda Malience," Draco supplied. He looked at Ron. "The other?"

"The blonde who was sitting with her last night. Looks kinda like the Patils, only blonde and with a bigger nose. Her hair looked really fake."

"That would be...." Draco considered it.

"Sistima," Dawn supplied. "The fake blonde part anyway."

"Hmm, no she changed hers last weekend," he pointed out. "Fake blonde?" He looked down at the professor. "I only know one and she's in the sixth year, with the exception of a few classes."

"Including potions and we have been doing this one in class," Snape pointed out. Professor Flitwick nodded and headed out to gather his students. "Thank you for your help."

"You're welcome. Trust me, if you don't get them, I will," Draco said sweetly. Snape actually shuddered at that.

"Stand in line," Dawn told him. "You joined the list late, you're last so far."

"And what can you do to make their lives a living hell, Dawn?" he asked gently.

Dawn gave him a cold smirk. "Cordelia used to babysit me. She's available by floo since Wesley's still there. If that's not a good enough muse, I've got Xander, Buffy, and Spike to help me. Dumass, two vampires, and the queen bitch of Sunnydale High." Everyone in the room shuddered at that. "I think between us we can come up with something...suitable."

Draco smirked. "Excellent. I'll look at your ideas and add my own." She shook his hand, sealing the deal. "Remember, Xander has been very emotional recently."

"It was seeing Cordy again. She always does funny things to his insides. They've got one of those bipolar relationships. One minute it's love and hot sex, the next it was fury and rage," she explained when the nurse looked at her. "They used to snipe at each other and then fall into many closets to kiss until they started to argue during it."

Madam Pomfrey scowled. "Those are not healthy."

"No, but she was Xander's girlfriend for many moons," Dawn said, giving her a little shrug. "It was her or Faith, bad slay-gal."

"No wonder he's so screwed up now," Snape muttered, continuing to mix a stronger antidote. "What does he like to eat that he won't ignore?"

"The wet food I have in the cans under my bed," Dawn said immediately. She started to lift her wand but Ron got there first, bringing a few cans. "Thanks, Ron."

"Anything for you and Midnight," he reminded her. He gave her a kiss on the forehead and pressed her head back down onto his shoulder. "You rest for now. Save your strength for ass kicking later."

"Yes, dear."

Harry looked at Draco. "And I used to think you and Xander were cutesy," he pointed out. Dawn kicked him. "I did but you two have got them beat."

"This couple had better not do what the married couple did at the last dinner," Snape warned.

"What did they do?" Hagrid asked. "I can't imagine Xander'd do anything bad."

Harry grinned at him. "Xander was kinda desperate so he jumped Draco at the table and rolled him onto the floor for a quick bit of fun."

"As long as they don't hurt no one else wrasslin' around," Hagrid said with a shrug. Draco squeeze his eyes shut and burst out laughing, leaning on Ron's free shoulder. "What?"

"Um, Hagrid, they were....." Harry started but didn't know how to finish.

"Carnally inclined," Snape finished for him, giving him a dirty look. "I don't think he needed to know about that."

Hagrid looked at Draco. "Did you feel better afterward?"

"Definitely," he agreed, still smiling.

"Then it's good you love him." Hagrid went back to helping force the food down Midnight's throat. "He don't seem to like this one."

Dawn slid off the bed and came over, scratching under her dog's chin. "Eat, Midnight, so you can feel better. Otherwise you can't go outside and play with the animals." Midnight lapped up the food, giving her a look every few bites. "That's a good boy," she said, continuing to pet him. "How long should it take to work?"

"He should be feeling like his usual exuberance within a few hours," Snape told her. He stepped back and dusted off his hands, taking the damp towel from the nurse to wipe them off . "From now on, keep him closer until we can find out how did this."

"Oh, no one's feeding him anything unless they eat a bite first," Dawn assured him. "Does this stuff taste nasty to him?"

"It's probably really bitter," Hagrid told her. "He can come out and rest with Fang for a bit if you want."

"I've got you later today," Dawn said, looking at Ron, who nodded. "Sure. If I can't get out of class to be with him then that would be fine. You've got a comfy sleeping spot in the stables he likes."

"True," Hagrid agreed with a smile. "Plus, Fang'd look out for the poor thing until you can come get him."

Dawn looked down at her dog. "Do you wanna nap the rest of this off with Fang and Hagrid?" He whimpered so she hugged him. "Ooh, you poor thing. We need a baby carrier for you when you're like this."

"What would one of those look like?" Harry asked.

"A backpack without the top," Ron told him. "Did they actually think you were the stuffed up one?" She nodded. He rolled his eyes as he slid off the bed. "Wonderful."

"I went over and told Pansy and what's-her-name the truth," Dawn told him.

"Yes, most girls don't face down Pansy or Millicent," Draco agreed. "They also think you're mental because you did."

Dawn snorted. "Like I care what they think?"

"Good point," Harry agreed. He looked at Ron. "Didn't you buy one of those for the baby?"

"Yeah, we did," Ron agreed.

"I have an old backpack in my room and it should do," Dawn told him. She summoned it and a towel, putting them on and letting Ron put the dog in and zip it partially. "There, that should do. Is this all right, Professor?"

"He should be fine in that," Hagrid agreed, smiling at her. "That's a neat idea." He patted her on the head. "Make him come see me later, just to check him over."

"Yes, sir." She smiled at Professor Snape next. "Thank you, sir. I know you didn't have to help because he's a dog."

Snape shrugged slightly. "It is not suitable for a student at this institution to do such things," he noted, leaving the students there.

Madam Pomfrey checked her clock. "You've got a bit left. I'll send a note to the Headmaster saying you four were up here the whole of first class. Go to your second one." They nodded and walked out, Midnight curled safely on his mother's back. She laughed as she cleaned up. "At least that one hadn't been fatal," she told herself. "Though I will not deflea someone's cat again." She remade the bed with a small charm and went to write out the note and make notes on her daily log.

***

Xander looked up as someone walked into his work area, frowning at the vampire. "How did you get in?"

"I'm talented that way," Spike told him. "Angel's outside in the tunnels."

"Wonderful." Xander put down his brush and pencil. "What's wrong?"

"Wes made a serious mistake and we're delivering him to you."

"I'm sure Luna would love that. Ethan?"

"He's already back at the house with Wes and the blondes."

"Cool. Did LA explode too?"

"Sorta," he said sheepishly. He hated running for help, especially to the boy no one thought was any good at this stuff. "We had a small prophecy problem."

"And I'm involved?" Xander asked carefully. Spike nodded. "Great. Let's go back to the house and tell me. Should I act some more for Deadboy?"

"Nah, he's in a right snit," Spike told him. He looked up the tunnel. "Peaches, he's got a way back down here," he called.

Xander opened a door. "Underground tunnel. Very handy when you're carrying stuff." He led the way, taking the correct paths. Angel could smell him to follow. He came out in the basement and found his Grandmother waiting on him. "What?" he asked when she looked at him.

"Alex, take a shower. You've got girls upstairs."

"So I heard," he agreed. "One's an ex, one's Dawn's sister Buffy, one's Fred, who I think is dating the large and dangerous man who came with them." He shrugged. "They'll understand about being sweaty, they're fighters too." Spike came up behind him. "This is Spike, the other is Angel, they're vampires and please don't stake them unless Angel does something hideous and evil."

"The souled one?" his grandmother asked.

Spike grinned. "You've heard of him?"

"Definitely. And you too, William. Upstairs, both of you." She followed them up, scowling at the boy's back. Really, these were his friends?

"So, fill me in," Xander said as he walked into the study. "You look like shit, Wes," he pointed out, looking at the bandage. "Grandma, do you have any healing salve?"

"Of course. You're a dangerous person in the kitchen," she noted from the doorway. "Why?"

"Because Wes needs some."

"I'm not sure it will work on his sort, grandson."

"We can still try," Xander said patiently. "Someone tried to take his head off. Remember, Luna is a scary bitch when she wants to be."

"Good point," Des agreed, going to get some of the healing salve for the boy. She came back and slathered it on while the group caught up with the news. "So, what's this about another apocalypse?"

"Grandma Des was the top person in Defense in her time," Xander said at Buffy's frown. "She helped train me."

"Goodie. We're facing a Moloch again, only a living one. Wolfram and Hart released it from it's imprisonment on purpose and it promptly ate the rest of them." Buffy shrugged at Xander's Grandmother's look at her. "I'm Buffy."

Des smiled. "So I've heard and seen. Dawn has a few pictures of you in her room." She stood up and patted the young man on the couch. "Even if it won't heal it, it's got some antibiotic herbs in it to help." She wiped her hands off on her pants and looked around. "So, you needed a wizard?"

"No, we needed *the* wizard," Cordelia told her. "Unfortunately, my visions said Xander knows him. White guy, beard, mustache. Dark hair?"

Xander considered it. "I don't know anyone like that," he said, leaning on the back of the couch. "White guy with dark hair. White guy with mustache. Unless Philip's suddenly went darker and grown one." He shrugged. "Any identifying marks? Anything special about him?"

"I also saw a dog, a big, black dog," Cordelia told him.

"Shit," Xander said, shaking his head. "He died a year ago, Cordy. He's Harry's Godfather."

"As in vamp?" Buffy asked hopefully.

"No, as in fell through a veil that passed him immediately to the other side," Xander told him.

"Then why would the Powers suggest him?" Angel asked. "They're usually not that unhelpful."

"Not a clue, let me call Harry so he can call his other uncle. He can explain it to you and maybe something that Sirius left behind will help you." He shrugged again. "I have not a clue on that." He went to make a floo call, getting the Headmaster. "Hi, Albus. The LA crew, including Dawn's sister is here."

"You've interrupted their education a number of times, Xander."

"I wasn't going to suggest it unless they're staying over the weekend," Xander said patiently. "They need to talk to Remus about Sirius. Apparently the Powers showed Cordelia a picture of Sirius as *the* person who can fix the current demon problems in LA."

"That's impossible."

"That's what I said but I thought maybe Sirius left something that might have a clue in, like a diary? Something like that? Would Remus have it?"

"He would but I'm not sure where he is."

"Can you ask Harry? If anyone would know, he would."

"Hold on. Give me ten minutes to find him. We had a ...situation this morning with Dawn."

"What sort of one?" Buffy asked from behind Xander.

"Someone gave her dog a slight poison and the antidote at the same time. He is fine and doing very well. We're getting ready to call the only witnesses, and possibly the perpetrators, in right now."

"Cool. Ten minutes is okay. We can wait that long. Let me know if I get to come help her kick their asses," Xander told him.

"She's promised a dull sword," Dumbledore said dryly. "I'm sure we'll deal with it. Oh, here's Harry with Dawn. Harry, Xander needs to ask you a question."

Harry's head popped into the fireplace as soon as Dumbledore's left. "What's up?"

"First, these nice people need to know something about Sirius and I was hoping your other uncle would have a clue why the Powers That Be showed him." Harry looked stunned. "Not a clue, Harry, Cordy had the vision. Do you know if Remus is around?"

"He's in town, he's supposed to meet me tonight. I'll send him your way afterwards."

"One or two days won't make much of a difference," Buffy told him. "He's already gotten hold of the news stations."

Harry grimaced. "That sucks ass." Someone coughed. "Sorry, headmaster, but it does." He looked at Xander again. "Someone decided to be cute because there are rumors going around that Dawn's preggers because she and Ron have been shopping for baby stuff."

"Why would she be?" Buffy asked coldly.

Harry grinned at her. "The twins are having a boy. Or boys, we're not sure yet."

"Oh." She relaxed. "So, total misunderstanding?"

"She's the popular girl and she's new," Xander told her. "Think psycho rumors that Cordy put around about you."

"Good point," Buffy sighed, rolling her head around a bit to pop her neck. "And her puppy?"

"Midnight's fine. They gave him the poison and the antidote, but the antidote was weaker. Intentionally weaker," Harry told her. "Professor Snape and Hagrid helped him."

"Good. I remember Hagrid and he was very nice," Buffy told him. "Coming up tonight?"

"If I can sneak out long enough to do that," Harry hissed, glancing behind him. "We've had a lot of time off this year," he said with a wink. Then he disappeared.

Buffy hauled Xander up. "Popular?" He nodded. "New girl and popular?"

"She's the only person who hasn't heard the same jokes over and over through the years and the guys like her because she's pretty and treats them nicely. Ron doesn't mind if they flock around her because they're very protective of her." He grinned. "She's pretty, she's popular, and she's in the house of happy people who thrive on popularity and fashion. Think airhead Cordy groupies."

"Harmony?"

"Yeah, a house half-filled with Harmonies and the other half girls like Dawn, only without the combat skills."

"No wonder she's had some problems," Buffy said, making a face. "That would drive me nuts."

He gave her a hug. "It would me too. I started out in Slytherin and went to Gryffindor." He led her out. "Harry's talking to Remus tonight anyway. Can we wait that long?"

"We can," Angel agreed. He looked around the room. "This is really nice, Harris."

"Thanks. The family collected for years," he said happily. "This is the Dark Arts study, so named by the crew. Let me get you guys some rooms. Um, who wants basement and who wants in the attic? Fair warning, the doorbell is a gong that shakes everyone."

"I'll take the attic," Fred offered. Cordelia nodded. Fred looked at Gunn. "You?"

"Sure," he agreed. "Coed rooms are fine for some of us."

"Like I care if you guys go like the Energizer bunny," Xander snorted. "This way to the attic. It's very sunny up there." He walked them up the halls. "Cordy, the green door is Dawn's suite. The blue one is Harry and Ron's room when they're here if you wanted to snoop and check up on them." He led them up to the third floor and opened the small doorway. "Sorry, I keep forgetting it's a half door."

"It's cute," Fred told him, bending down to get in. "Ooh, lights?" she called back.

Xander flicked his wand. "Incendio." The torches and hanging lanterns lit up. "There you go. We do not allow spiders in the house so there shouldn't be any. Or mice either." He patted Cordy on the back as she passed by. "Don't worry, it'll be okay." She nodded, walking up the stairs. He left the door open and went back down, intending to show the vampires the safe rooms. His father was waiting on him. "Did you show them into the basement?"

He nodded. "I also closed the door to your work area, just in case." He gave his son a hug. "I've never hosted a vampire before. Let alone three."

"Eehh. Spike's from London. Angel's from Ireland. Buffy, well, she's just Buffy and from California. So treat them like you would any really odd guest and let them roam the house tonight."

"Fine, son." He pulled Xander's head down and kissed him on the forehead. "When can we bother Draco again?"

"I don't know, but I'm assuming it'll be soon. Spring break is in a few weeks."

"I remember, but I wasn't sure if he was coming home for that time."

"He'd better or I'm going to have to go up there and shag him stupid, then put him over my shoulder and carry him back. He has no right to escape my fiendish plans for hot sex." He winked and went to get a drink. "Hi, Auntie." He kissed her on the cheek. She handed him a glass of lemonade. "Thank you."

"Go shower, Alex. You're filthy."

"I'm going to have to go get more filthy later," he pointed out.

"That's the same argument as not making your bed because you'll be sleeping in that night. Do it anyway is still the answer."

"Yes, Auntie." He took his glass up to his room, finding Cordelia in his sitting room. "Wrong direction to snoop."

"I wanted to talk to you," she admitted.

"Fine, talk through my shower." He led the way into the bathroom and turned on the shower, stripping down while it warmed up the steel tub. Then he climbed in. "What's up?"

"How is Dawn really?"

"She's pretty, popular, and the other girls have some problems with that. She's in the house of Harmony clones."

"Oh." She leaned against the sink, *not* staring at his form through the curtain. "Is she happy?"

"Generally. Why?" He turned to rinse his hair.

"Because I caught some looks from her to Ron and back."

Xander put his head out through the curtains, showing a good deal of his body in the space as well. He grinned when he caught her peeking. "Like I care," he pointed out. He shook his head. "They're both young. Ron finds himself looking every now and then. She knows this. That's why they're holding everything else off until a year after she graduates. That's five years from now."

"And if they break up?"

"It had better be friendly or I will kick Ron's ass," he told her.

She smiled. "Good. That's what I wanted to know. Get unsweaty, you were nasty," she said, waving a hand at him. She went back to the sitting area, finding Buffy in there. "He's in the shower."

"I can hear," she agreed, smiling at her. "How's the attic?"

"It's got all these cute little rooms up there. I left Fred and Gunn going at it."

"Hmm. I'm wondering if we should tell Luna that Wes is here and injured. Ethan only grunted at me, he was nose-deep into a book that was making him drip with pheromones."

"Joy," Cordelia said dryly. "I'm sure we can pass the message back through Harry."

"Yeah, but Luna seemed pretty territorial when it came to Wes."

Xander came out in a towel and nothing else. "I'm sure someone will tell her." The head in the fireplace popped up. "Hi, Harry," he said, grinning at him as he headed into the bathroom. "Talk loudly."

"Hi, Cordelia," Harry said, smiling at her. "Buffy."

"Hi, Harry. How's it shakin' at the school?"

"Not too well at the moment," he admitted. "Um, Xander?" he called quietly. Xander came back to the door, still in his towel. "We're kinda under attack. Dumbledore's was knocked out. Snape and McGonagall too. That leaves me and Flitwick?"

"Coming," he agreed. "Give me a mo." He went back in and threw on some clothes and shoes, grabbing his wands. He walked out and through the fire. "Get Dawn and send her back."

"She's locked in the Room of Requirement," Harry assured him. "Luna and Ginny are with her." He led the way out to the courtyard, where there were bodies laying around.

"Geez, Harry, you worried me."

"Xander, we can't wake them up," he said quietly, glancing around. "Students, back to houses," he ordered.

"Go!" Xander yelled. "Now!" They hurried off, Ron guarding the door and closing it once the field was cleared. "Do you know what happened?"

"Sleep spell. That's all I can tell," Harry said. "Ron and I were in Charms and we ran out. Flitwick was just in front of us. I'm not sure if their own spell knocked them out too or not." Harry shifted nervously.

"Hmm." Xander walked over and kicked the nearest person he didn't recognize. The person jumped up. "Fake out." He hit that one, dodging a thrown curse. That person was legitimately knocked out. "Anyone else?" he called. A few people shook their heads. He looked at Harry again. "Defense teacher?"

"Guarding inside, the majority of the students," Harry said as he walked down. One of them jumped up and tried to stab him but he ducked the blade and kicked the person in the stomach, making them whimper as they fell to the ground clutching it. They nearly stabbed themselves as they grabbed their stomach. "Ministry?"

"No, binding. Get the Prof. Call Philip since he's closest and able to fight."

"Deal," Ron agreed, going to do that. The nurse hurried out a moment later and started to check people.

"We think it's a sleep spell," Xander told her. "I don't know which one yet. Most of these nice people are faking though." He started to bind them, getting each one in the ropes and very uncomfortable because he was in the mood to be artistic. "Go get Dawn, Harry. Buffy's at the house. Dumbledore can't complain about that."

"Sure he can," Ron noted as he came back out. "I already told her and she squealed something like "Oh My God" and went through. She promised to be back soon. Luna went with her once Buffy told her that Wesley was injured." He frowned. "Ginny went too."

"Why?" Harry asked, binding another himself after standing on their back.

"Because she wanted to ask Cordelia something," Ron said, still frowning.

"Hmm. Hopefully not about attitude management," Harry pointed out as he stepped onto another's back and make that one scream in pain. "Shut up." He bound that one too and moved on. He noticed the next one looked really familiar. "Oliver?" Oliver looked up at him. "Are you a bad guy?"

"Harry, if you give them the choice, they'll say no," Xander pointed out. He hauled that one up and looked at him. "You still human?" The man groaned and his head went limply down. "Huh. Imperious. Very nice." He raised his wand. "Finite Incantantum." The man's head snapped up and looked at him, very wary. "Hi, Alex Dumass," he said, letting him go. "Why were you sent?"

"Because they wanted Harry," Oliver mumbled. He looked at Harry and hugged him hard. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," Harry promised. A few people appeared down the drive to the school. "I thought the barrier was farther back."

"If they're smart they use portkeys," Xander pointed out, binding more of them.

"Don't break them, Xander, they might be other players."

"Yay," he pointed out. He waved at a person Dumbledore had introduced him to. "Hi, Kingsley. Dumbledore's still napping. I freed Oliver there, Harry's buddy, and he was under the Imperius." He went to bind the last one but that one was a professor. "Hi, Professor Sprout," he said, helping her up and over to where the nurse was. "I'm guessing she came out of her green houses. Speaking of, Harry, go check in there."

"Going," he agreed.

"Why are you giving orders?" the heavily scarred person who had come with the group asked.

Xander looked at him. "Because I'm his new guardian. I only give *good* orders."

"Do you have combat experience?" the scarred man asked.

"I redid my childhood on the California Hellmouth and helped the slayer there for nearly six years. You tell me." He crossed his arms. "And you are?"

"Your better, boy."

Xander snorted. "Really? Is that why you're so damaged? 'Cause, you know, that's not a testament to skill in my book. That's an inability to duck." He went to help the nurse. "Is it a sleep spell?"

"Yes," she said, looking at him. "They're Dumbledore's supporters."

"No wonder he called back Spike." He looked at Snape first, trying various cures on him. He found one that worked and showed it to the nurse on her current patient, making her smile. "You take right?"

"Thank you, Alex," she agreed, going to help them.

Xander looked down at his cousin. "Some of your boss' friends are here." He uncursed the next one. Hagrid sat up and groaned, rubbing his head. "Stay there until you're not dizzy. It's normal." He moved on, ignoring those people. "Harry?"

"Hufflepuffs," came the faint call.

Xander looked back at Ron. "Go help him, he's being cried on. No one's coming out." Ron trotted that way. "Thank you."

"Just don't make me eat Cordy's cooking," Ron called back.

Xander moved on, getting his last one. Then he looked at Dumbledore. He wasn't waking up. "Oh, let me," he said, grinning wickedly at the nurse. He raised his wand. "Ennerviate!" The Headmaster jumped and squealed. "Morning. Harry and Ron are in the Greenhouses with the Hufflepuffs. Ron sent everyone else inside. Dawn, Ginny, and Luna are back at my house being safe." He walked over and hauled Severus up. "Good morning," he told him.

"Wonderful to see you again," Snape said bitterly. "What happened?"

"Massive sleep hex. Some people under the Imperius. Little things like that," Xander said with a shrug. "You're lucky, you caught me coming out of the shower." He felt his consort coming and looked over. "Hi, sweetie," he said with a grin.

"Smartass," Draco sneered, glaring at him. "What are you doing now?"

"Making sure everyone's all right. What happened, did the Ravenclaws hide behind you again?"

"Worse, the entire Hufflepuff house in the Great Hall clung to me and cried on me about protecting them," he said as he came down to get a hug. "Someone's going to have to run a defense course for self-defense hexes."

"We'll think about that," Dumbledore told him.

"I'd do more than think," the scarred man said. "We've been wanting that for years now. Pity it had to come from such a snake."

Xander glared at him. "Did you call my consort a name?" he asked snidely. "Because if you did, we're going to have at it and I'm going to put you under the earth so you can talk to the Earth Mother and figure out your problems. I hear she's a wonderful counselor for the dead."

"Easy, Dumass," Dumbledore warned. "Moody is a friend and a colleague."

"Then he should have learned not to call others names by his age. Especially not those who have obviously changed." He glared at the man, making him back up a step. "I'm not the nice one in the family. I make the others seem normal, even the dangerous side. If you don't believe me, ask Severus. He knew some of my former family."

"Killed them did you?"

Xander was stopped from casting by Snape and Draco. "Enough," Snape warned. "Mr. Dumass is here because he wants to be here. He is here because of his great-nephew, Potter, and his trainees. He does not have to put up with your problems, Moody."

Dumbledore looked at Xander. "Do not hex him, Alexander."

"Then he can apologize or he can join the earth worms," Xander said firmly. "No one insults what's mine."

"Xander, don't. I don't care about his worthless opinion. What use is he anyway," Draco soothed. He pulled Xander with him. "Come along, let's save Potter and Weasley from what I went through with the Hufflepuffs." He continued to drag him, glaring at Moody. "You will get yours one day," he promised. "No one says such things about my consort."

"Mr. Dumass, both of you, do not say another word or I will expel one of you and make sure the other cannot come to check on his little sister."

Xander looked at him. "That means that you'd also have to forget she was ever here," he noted. "Along with the fact that if you did that, Draco could reasonably take you to the Ministry and charge you since you let such demented people run around and bother your students."

"Not one more word, Alex."

"Or what? You'll deage me again?" he snorted. He walked Draco out to the green house and opened the door. "Everyone's up and the scarred and demented idiot is asking for an asskicking from the universe."

"Moody?" Harry asked. Draco nodded. "He's a bit set in his ways."

"They make cement dissolvers," Xander pointed out. "Everyone, back into the school by the side entrance." They ran out, heading that way. Most of them even remembered their books and things. He pulled Harry closer for a hug. "Are you okay?"

"Get your hands off him, you molester," Moody called.

"I've had enough," Harry decided. He stomped out and took a swing at Moody. "That is my last living relative, you idiot. He's the one who pulled me away from the people who refuse to feed me and kept me locked in a room. You go against my great-uncle at your own risk, Moody. I will not tolerate such disrespect to my family." The man laughed and Harry was stopped from casting by Ron.

"Leave him. He's too set in his ways to realize shit," Ron soothed. "Come on. We've got to check on everyone in the house." He led Harry off, giving Moody a cold look. He stopped in front of Dumbledore. "I don't want to be in the Order if he is," he said, then he finished dragging Harry inside.

"Moody, apologize. You as well, Alex. I will not have such dissent."

Xander looked at him. "I haven't heard an apology to my consort. Nor have I heard one to me. The man started out trying to make me kill him and he's succeeding." He kissed the side of Draco's head. "Since Dawn and Luna are at home, would you like to come home for the rest of the night, at least until Harry meets with Remus Lupin and brings him back?"

"Sure," Draco agreed. He looked at the Headmaster. "That way none of us can do anything untoward or uncomfortable for people."

"We'll need you here to control the house," Snape pointed out. Draco groaned. "I will allow him to stay this time." Xander gave him a pat on the arm as he walked past him. "No noise."

"Fine," Xander agreed. "I know seventeen silencing charms." He slammed the door behind him. "I loathe people like that." He looked up to see Ron hanging over a banister. "You all right?"

"Just fine, Xander. I called Dawn, told her everything was all right and what went on. She'll be back in an hour, after they have lunch."

"Thanks, Ron. We're going to herd Slytherin downstairs. Feel free to jump over tonight with Harry." He followed Draco into the Great Hall, nodding at Methos. "Yo, Slytherin!" he called. They all looked at him in shock. Nobody addressed them like that! "We're going back to the house. We're going to wait there. We will not whine, bitch, or complain about it. We will not sneak out. We will not irritate myself or my consort further because we're both in a deadly mood. Now, move," he ordered, pointing at the doorway. They hurried out.

"Very inspirational," Methos told him. "What happened?"

"Some scarred bastard named Moody decided to rag on me, Draco, and Harry. Called me a molester for hugging my nephew." He turned and followed the last of them, letting Draco get the door behind him. "Everyone find a spot and sit, do homework, or go take a long bathroom break," he ordered. "We've got time and I'll have the house elves bring lunch up here." They chatted, most of them heading to the bathrooms. Xander rang the house elf bell and it took a good five minutes for one to show up. "We're eating down here today. Can you do that?" The house elf nodded. "All of us."

"Knuppy take care of," she agreed, bowing to him. "Yous save?"

"Somewhat," he agreed. "Mostly I just woke them up. Thank you, Knuppy."

"You's welcome." She disappeared, going to pass on the order.

Someone knocked on the door and the second-year guarding it looked outside. "It's the headmaster. Should I let him in?"

"It's bad form to deny him entrance," Xander told her. "Let him in and make sure he doesn't bring any scruffy things with him." She opened the door and Xander put an arm around Draco's shoulders, waking him up from a short nap. "It's the Headmaster."

"Yay," Draco said, glaring at him. "Coming to make it worse?"

"No, I came to apologize for Moody. He didn't understand that you had changed or what Xander has done. All he saw was an arrogant man who was directing things."

"I was first on the scene and I do have the experience," Xander pointed out. "The only ones awake when I got there were Harry and Ron. Though I did uncurse that Oliver guy."

"I know, I took him from Moody and talked to him. Even your cousin admitted he had been cursed and he hated the boy for being the champion captain of Gryffindor." He sat down across from them. "Xander, you cannot lead this battle."

"Albus, I'm one of the very few people you have who can lead battles," Xander reminded him. "Also, I'm the only one who can make the plans you need and about the only one who can come up with ancient knowledge to help."

"We do have a few aurors on our side."

"Yes, and they're used to nice wars, the ones where each side charges and they move back and forth. It's like a duel, only with more people. Voldemort doesn't play that way, Headmaster, nor does he care for the niceties. All he wants is fear and power. He's willing to go through children for it. As a matter of fact, someone really should be on the lookout to make sure he doesn't come here after a suitable length of time to take over the school from his carefully cursed warriors." Dumbledore nodded. "Another thing, Voldemort is using ancient knowledge. Beside Philip, you've got nothing on that. You know some, Philip knows some. I recognized his renewal spell because I found it fifteen years before I deaged." Dumbledore nodded again. "And the last point I wish to make at this time is that I'm going to be here, whether or not you like it, because you're not using my great-nephew as anything other than a student unless he volunteers. You tried with me, you tried with him. None of us trust you."

"Xander, I did not deage you," Dumbledore pointed out. "There is every evidence that Voldemort was behind your deaging."

Xander snorted. "Yeah, right, because my position was so well known. I wasn't even supposed to be on that dig. The original one had been killed and left for me to find. Someone knew I was the only cursebreaker who went after the Lost. Someone knew they'd send me and set the curse only for me. It didn't hit the people with me, just me. Otherwise, you'd be having this talk with Bill Weasley too." Dumbledore swallowed. "Another great thing about that whole scene is the fact that it was magic washed. Power was everywhere and coating the walls. Pure power, Albus, not dark power. No blood magic, sex magic, or other stolen magical energy was in it. I know because I was blinded by it for nearly ten minutes after the change happened because that's how it worked. That's also why my shields were so open. Which is probably the excuse you give yourself for putting them onto me the way you did before you sent me to hell to live with the alcoholics who hated each other." Dumbledore went pale. "And the last neat little thing? It only knocked out Bill, set to him personally. Whomever did it knew he'd be there. I almost never took my apprentice on those jobs. He hates that part of the job and as far as I know he still doesn't do that. Injured, yes, dead, only if they're friends. Like the one he got injured helping earlier this year." He stood up. "I remember enough of the magic to know where it came from, Albus, and I don't know anyone who sucks up power from Stonehenge on Solstice. Do you?"

He went to the bathroom to force himself to calm down. One of the slutty little girls offered to calm him orally and he had to pat her and send her away. He was beyond livid. He really wanted to destroy this place for the first time in years. He hadn't had this urge since he had woken up in Sunnydale with the letter explaining what had happened. He took a few deep breaths then went back to grab Draco. "We're going to the house. Buffy needs his, Harry, and Ron's help."

"We're grounded to our towers and I'm still needed here," Draco said, giving his hand a short caress. "I'll be fine," he promised. "If anything happens, I'll send a message through our bond immediately." Xander nodded. "What's going on with LA?"

"Demon invasion. The stupid lawyers let something out that they couldn't or didn't control. It's taken over the news outlets. Cordy had a vision of Sirius Black, we're not sure why. So make sure Harry can go meet Remus Lupin so he can bring him over." He looked at the headmaster. Then he leaned down to get close to his ear. "I swear, Albus Dumbledore, if you hurt me or mine ever again, you will wish you had never been born. I started in Slytherin for a reason and I never forgot that, even after I was forced to become a hero. Even without my powers I was still the force behind the Slayer. I will kick someone's ass if anything happens to Draco, Ron, Harry, or Dawn." He stomped out, heading to the nearest useable floo. He found McGonagall in her office. "May I?"

"Of course," she agreed, smiling at him. "Is something wrong?"

"The assholes in the calvary. Some hard truths that I had to share thanks to them. Little things like a demon invasion in LA. You know, the usual in my stunningly boring life," he quipped, then he sent himself back home. Buffy met him and gave him a hug. "What did I do to deserve that this time?"

"Dawn started to floo to check on Draco and heard you going off on someone," she admitted. She pulled him back to the room where the girls were tending Wesley. "Are you pulling her out?"

"No. It's still the best place for her. I'm simply not sure of some people's motives anymore. Dumbledore used to be pure and noble when I went there. Now he's not." He looked down at Wesley. "You're looking worse."

"We got the bleeding stopped again," Dawn told him. "He's still living." She looked at his ashen face. "I'm not sure what else I can do for him."

"Then let me call the healer," Harry said as he walked through. "Or at least Philip." He walked over to the floo, tossing some green powder into it. "Philip Callahan." Philip's head showed up a minute later. "Hey. We've got a small problem here and at the school. Right now, we've got a wandless wizard with a slit throat and a brewing temper tantrum."

"Why?" Philip asked.

"Because Dumbledore and Moody just told me I can't see Xander anymore," he said, looking back at Xander.

"Then you're all pulling out if I can convince Molly," Xander said simply, looking at Dawn. He went back to putting better pressure on Wesley's throat. "Philip, we really need a doc here to stitch him."

"I'll bring one with me. Floo open?" Xander nodded. "Fine, give me five minutes. I'll be right there then I'll go have a talk with the Headmaster."

"Don't bother, he's getting bad advice," Harry told him. "Moody called Xander a molester for hugging me."

"Fuck me," Philip sighed, but his head disappeared.

Xander looked at Harry. "I'm sorry."

"Why? I'm not," Harry told him, coming over to help. "I need training in this."

"You do," Xander admitted. "So do I. It's the one thing I never really learned anything about. Other than CPR." He grinned weakly at Buffy. "Welcome to the real-life soap opera called Hogwarts, A Legacy of Being Fucked." He went back to helping Wes.

"I still say he's under something," Harry offered. "I'm going to Hogsmeade as soon as Philip gets here, see if I can't find Moony." He looked up as Philip brought in someone with a blindfold. "Are you going back?"

"I am," Philip agreed. "But I'm apparating."

Harry shrugged and got out of the way. "So can I." He followed Philip outside, going to the town together. Harry waved and headed off to the Three Broomsticks. If anyone knew, Madam Rosemerta would. He walked in and smiled at her.

"Aren't you supposed to be in school?" she asked.

"Yeah, but I'm presently at odds with the Headmaster. He tried to cut me off from my family," Harry told her. "Is Remus Lupin in town yet? Apparently he's the only family I'm allowed to talk to."

"I saw him walking about earlier," she offered. "I'm not sure where though." She pulled his head closer, kissing him on the cheek. "You calm yourself. That uncle of yours is infecting you with his temper."

"Apparently Dumbledore thinks I'm picking up more than his temper, and I wouldn't be mad if Dumbledore hadn't just said I'd have to go back to the Dursley's and be abused more instead of going on with my apprenticeship and being in a house where people liked me."

"You feel better?" she asked.

He nodded. "Definitely. Thank you, I never understood the healing nature of ranting." He glanced around. "Was he heading toward the school?"

"The Shrieking Shack I think," she offered. "If you catch him, bring him back. Xander left money here for you guys to have some lunches when you need it."

"Thanks, Madam Rosemerta. I owe you for not turning me in." He walked out, heading at a quick jog for the Shrieking Shack. It had been Remus' enclosure while he had been changed during his school years. It probably held a lot of memories for him. The man he was looking for met him at the door, as did Arthur Weasley. "Did Ron make it home?"

"Yes." He let the boy inside. "What happened?"

"Moody started on Xander and Xander decided to give it back. Until Moody decided to insult Draco." Everyone present, including Molly and Hagrid, winced. "Yeah, it almost got Moody dead. Then the Headmaster went and made it worse. Then, the old fart decides to come up and tell me I can't spend any more time with Xander. Because he's got more important things to worry about so I'm supposed to go to the Dursley's during spring break. I overheard him trying to tell Draco he couldn't see his husband either." He looked at Molly. "Ron?"

"He has to leave his apprenticeship and never see Xander again," Molly said darkly. "What is wrong with that man?"

"I still say someone's gotten him with an unforgivable," Harry said, hugging Remus. "We need to take this to Xander's house. Some people there need to talk to Remus about Sirius. For some reason someone saw him in a vision of what's going on in LA." Remus looked stunned. "Not a clue," Harry admitted. "I know her visions come from on high, but nothing else."

"Then we should move this there. It's less messy anyway," Molly agreed. "How is Xander?"

"Furious," Harry told her. "He wants to withdraw all four of us."

"I'm not sure that's the right answer," Arthur Weasley pointed out gently.

"He said he was going to suggest it to you before anything," Harry told him. "We need a floo. I can't make portkeys worth a damn."

"Harry," Remus scolded.

Harry looked at him. "Yes, I have a mouth, Uncle Remus. You've missed this wonderful part of watching me grow up. I learned it from the people who used to kick my ass on a daily basis. Dudley's friends were ever so helpful in that field." Molly created the portkey for them and they sped off, landing in the gardens. He looked around and waved. "Cordelia Chase, this is Remus Lupin. Remus, I'm going to be in the library looking up something vile to do to someone." He walked off, going inside.

Cordelia smiled and waved. "Welcome to LA, part 2." Molly laughed. "Some guy named Philip went to talk to the Headmaster. Xander's pacing in his room. Draco came through the floo and disappeared into the basement, making Spike scream. Everyone else is in the dining area eating. If you want, we can go that way."

"Sure," Arthur agreed. "So, you're a seer?" he asked.

She nodded. "Sure am. I'm a seer for a Champion of the Powers That Be. He's napping in the basement so the nasty sun doesn't kill him." Molly laughed. "Yes, Angel's here. He's still confused by Xander because he came in acting very gay last time they saw each other." She opened the door to the dining room, patting a house elf between the ears as she walked past it. "I'm guessing you know gloomy guy and guy with the sword?"

"Professors Snape and Methos," Molly said, smiling at them. "Sit, dear, it's usually informal around here." She seated herself across from Severus. "No Holly?"

"She's in the Dark Arts library trying to calm Dawn down," Methos told her. He looked around. "Sit, please. We're only having sandwiches and she's pumping all our brains."

"I'd like to know what happened," Arthur pointed out.

"Moody," Snape told him. "He threw insults at Xander and Xander tossed them back, which he wasn't expecting apparently." Snape gave him a nasty smile. "He also told Moody that his scars were evidence that he couldn't duck, not evidence of battle experience." Everyone shuddered.

"It supposedly went downhill from there," Methos offered. "I got trapped protecting the students instead of outside helping. For some reason, Dumbledore decided I'm better suited as an end-game fighter."

"You've never been one of those," Xander said as he brought in a tray of sandwiches. "Mostly ham, some turkey, some pastrami." He sat at the head of the table. "What's going on now?"

"I was gonna ask Remus some questions about what I saw," Cordy told him. "You were going to finish fuming before you blew the house up."

Xander shrugged. "I've rebuilt it once, I can do it again." He looked over as the door opened and Draco came in with someone behind him. "Oh, it's him," he said bitterly. "Come sit, Draco." Draco came and sat in his lap, taking the comfort he wanted. "Did you leak?"

"Very," Draco agreed. "They had to stop me from killing everyone. I snapped."

"It happens," Xander soothed, petting him gently. "Veelas, especially consort veelas, are very emotional and being denied your stability and sanity can make you snap." He looked at Arthur. "Your son was helping the doctor help Wesley."

"What happened to him?" Molly asked.

"Someone slit his throat," Cordelia noted as she took a sandwich. "Ethan brought us immediately here and someone went for Xander as soon as possible. He got everything settled and Harry called in a doctor."

"Oh, dear," Remus put in. "Why would someone slit his throat?"

"Because Wesley was in their way," Cordelia told him, shrugging at his incredulous look. "It happens sometimes in LA. This time, the demon wanted him out of the way. The doctor said he'll be fine. It only nicked a blood vessel. The bigger problem was his windpipe was exposed."

Angel looked in. "Is it safe?"

Xander pointed his wand at the drapes and they closed. "Safer. I didn't make the food."

"That's all right," Angel said as he walked in. "What happened?"

"The Headmaster." Xander continued to ignore Moody. "Eat, please, before I get fat and Draco dumps me."

"Not before I'm twenty-seven," Draco reminded him, giving him a gentle kiss. "I'm afraid you're stuck with me until then."

Xander grinned at him. "Good."

"Get off him. He's to be arrested for interfering in Ministry business," Moody said.

Xander already had his wand in his hand, it wasn't any effort to point it at him. "Out of my house. If the aurors want to talk to me, they can come themselves. Since they didn't, I'm not sure you're the proper authority to say such things." He shooed him with the tip of his wand. "Out. Before I lose my temper and kill you." Draco stood up and went to make a call, calling in his father's lackey in the Ministry. He got the head of the aurors coming; Draco and he walked back in there in time to stop Xander from killing him. "And you are?" Xander asked.

"Misterly. Auror enforcement division."

Xander put his wand down. "Make him go away or you're going to be here for a body."

"Go away, Moody. Now." Moody huffed out. "He's retired."

"He needs a memory overhaul," Xander told him. "Am I in trouble for uncursing that one person?"

"No. Why would you be?"

"Because that's what Moody just said," Draco said patiently.

The man shrugged. "I hadn't heard anything and questioning one person isn't that bad a thing in such an assault. What did you do to him?"

"I was first on the scene and I gave orders," Xander said calmly. "I'm very battle experienced."

"Mr. Harris."

"Dumass," Draco corrected.

"Ah, no wonder. He had a crush on one of your family and she turned him down."

"Hmm. I probably would have too," Xander pointed out. "So I'm not in trouble?"

"No, but we did want to get your account."

"I got there after everyone was out. Harry called me. He's somewhere in the house. Harry!" Harry came jogging. "This nicer man is from the auror enforcement division. He needs a statement."

"Sure thing, Xander." He looked at the auror. "Dumbledore is going to be dead if I see him before I calm down. Need anything else?"

"How about if we go somewhere calmer and you expound on that, Harry." He gave him a gentle smile. "Please?"

Harry nodded, leading him to the library, where Ron was looking something up too. "What did you need to know?"

"What happened?"

"We heard the alarm go off, but it was in a different pitch this time," Harry told him, getting comfortable by stretching out across two chairs. Ron gave him a look and he shrugged. "My back still hurts."

"Why?"

"Oh, that's a later thing," Harry assured him. "Anyway, the teachers told all of us to go into the Great Hall, most of them did. Dumbledore told our Defense teacher, one who has so much experience he should be teaching it to us and we'll feel grateful for it even though he's an ass, to guard the students. Instead he took most of the other teachers outside, including apparently Madam Sprout."

"So he left the battle-experienced teacher inside and took the rest out?" the auror asked. Ron and Harry both nodded so he pulled over some parchment and a spare quill to write this down. "This is not what we got from him."

"Yeah, well, he's been acting funny now for a few weeks," Harry said firmly. "By the time we shooed the rest of the students inside, we were guarding the doors and the hallways with the Defense teacher's permission, we heard a massive thump. Ron and I both ran outside."

"I was first," Ron told him. "I saw everyone on the ground. I told Harry to go call for some help. Naturally, he calls in the family, the person training us to be cursebreakers because Xander has a lot of experience fighting as well."

Harry nodded. "He lived on the Hellmouth, has since he was deaged."

The auror groaned. "Sunnydale?" They nodded. "Shit." He wrote out a side note up the left margin and looked at them again. "So he shows up?"

"I caught him just out of the shower. He was still wearing a towel. Of course he throws on clothes and hurries through the floo to help," Harry told him. "I lead him outside. He went and kicked one of the attackers. He moved so Xander bound him. Ron went to call Philip for some help. The nurse came out. Xander was still binding when Moody showed up with Shacklebolt. He told me to go check the greenhouses when he found Professor Sprout. I went to be cried on by them."

Ron took up the narrative. "I couldn't get Philip so I came back to help. Xander figured out which curse it was by trying different counters on Snape. He sent me to help Harry since he hadn't reappeared."

"From what we know about what happened after that, Mr. Dumass helped an Oliver Wood?"

"That was before I left," Harry told him. "I played with Oliver and I knew he wasn't a bad guy so I didn't understand. Xander picked him up to ask him questions and found the curse so he removed it, waking Oliver up. We left him alone and didn't bind him."

"Okay." He made a note of that. "Then everyone was shooed back to their houses?"

"Yeah, Moody and Xander were sniping at each other, I could hear them through the greenhouse door," Ron told him. Harry nodded. "They were going hard and then Draco came out."

"What is Mr. Malfoy to Mr. Dumass? Besides his property?"

"His consort. Draco is a consort veela and Xander's his mate."

"Ah!" He nodded and made a note of that as well. "So, Moody snaps at Draco, Mr. Dumass snaps back, it escalates?" The boys nodded. "Then what happened?"

"Snape told Xander and Draco to go shoo Slytherin down to their house, stopping Xander from removing him for the day in his anger."

"Draco all but rules his house," Ron added.

Harry nodded. "So they, from what we heard coming in, walked into the Great Hall and released the Slytherins, Xander laying down the law about sneaking off and pissing him off. We know they went down there because we were escorting the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws from the Greenhouse and we saw the trailing end of the students while we were coming down for the Gryffs in the Great Hall."

Draco walked in and closed the door. "Then, after he had everyone safely in and all that good stuff set up, the Headmaster comes down with a fake apology and tries to chew Xander a new one for helping." He sat down on Harry's other side. "Xander let some knowledge that's he's been hoarding out. Including what he knew about the deaging charm and how it was *white* light that blinded him." The auror looked stunned. "I didn't want to believe it either but he seemed very sure of that fact. Then he threatened the headmaster about ever hurting the four of us and left to come back home, at which time Harry was...."

"Told I could never speak to him again. That I'd be going to my bad relative's house during the break so they could abuse me some more."

"In those words?"

"Not exactly. More that I would be heading there on the break and that they would quote protect me unquote from the irrational behavior Xander was showing."

"After which he told me I'd have to leave my apprenticeship too," Ron added.

"And on his way back down, he told me I could never see my consort again," Draco added. "Which put me into a blind fucking panic of desperation, which in turned made some people fairly homicidal when my control slipped."

The auror nodded. "That's a natural reaction. I'd expect that, Mr. Malfoy."

"It's Dumass now. I took my pookie's last name when we were joined." Draco glared at Ron when he snickered. "I'm married, I can call my mate all sorts of sickening things, what's your excuse?"

"Good point," Harry said. He suddenly sat up. "DAWN!" She came running. "Midnight?"

"I had him on me, Harry, he's napping by Wes." She smiled. "It was really nice of you to think of him though. Thank you." She trotted off.

"Ah, the fabled girlfriend and little sister," the auror said, smiling at Ron, who blushed and nodded. "Good, she seems sweet and you could probably use something like that." He looked at them. "Anything else?"

"I came here and we ended up finding Philip Callahan, who came with a doctor for the wandless wizard in the study," Draco told him.

"I went looking for Remus Lupin since I was supposed to meet him tonight anyway and one of the other people here needed to speak to him about my godfather," Harry put in.

"I just walked away," Ron told him. "Before I hit the bastard."

The auror nodded. "Okay, that's actually very good of you." He looked at them. "The present stand at the Ministry is that we do not want any current students fighting. Including you, Harry. I know you'll have to, we've all heard about the prophecy by now." Harry nodded, swallowing. "We feel that you have a lot of training left to do and that there are people there who can train you. Including your Defense teacher. We in the aurors trust him and your uncle Alex." Harry nodded, looking relieved. "I am also filing a report of abuse in your family. It's been noted before so it won't be a problem and I won't need anything further from you to do so. We couldn't before because we didn't have a secure place to put you." Harry nodded again. "From now on, by the petition I'm going to file as soon as I get back, you will be in the custody of your great-uncle. Your other relatives won't have any memory of you." Harry slumped a bit and looked really happy. "That also means that we'll have to certify the Weasley clan as alternate guardians so you can visit them. Again, not a problem; there's already a form on record."

"Why?" Ron asked.

"Ask your parents, I'm not sure," the auror told him.

"That's the first lie," Draco announced.

The auror shrugged. "Even though I do know I'm not allowed to tell." He looked at Draco. "Your mother signed over custody to him so that is not a problem. Mr. Dumass has also filed paperwork about his new little sister, Dawn Summers. We have awarded full custody of her to him. So she is not a problem." He stood up. "If it comes to a battle where the Dark Lord is there, Harry, we will send someone for you so you do not have to fight it all the way through. Your problems at the battle at the Ministry were noted and we don't want you three to have to fight anymore. It's not right and it's not healthy. People like me get paid a lot of money each year to do such things."

"Then you need to visit with Professor Methos," Ron told him. "I think we've got someone who might be willing to lend an idea or two."

"Agreeable. The Banes are willing to help?" Ron and Harry both looked at him and he smiled. "I came in Nick and Philip's last year, boys." Ron rolled up his sleeves and showed him the marks on his arms. "Very nice. Thank you. I'll talk with him myself. I never got the chance in m youth." He nodded at them. "Relax here. We will be examining the Headmaster in a few moments. As soon as I put in my report to the people standing outside." He walked out and opened the door, walking into the group of aurors Moody had brought, including the head over them all. His report was read quickly and many questions asked, but none of them went inside. He was told to go back in there and talk to Professor Methos while the rest of them went to gather Dumbledore for an examination. He walked back inside and met Xander in the main hallway. "My boss wanted me to talk to Professor Methos as a representative of the Banes. We are going to look at Headmaster Dumbledore in a few moments. As soon as we can capture him. You are not in trouble. Not in any form. Moody is in a bit of trouble and he has been warned not to bother you again."

Xander smiled. "Thank you." He shook his hand, noticing he was cold. "Go into that study," he said, pointing at a door. "I'll have the Prof sent in there and there's a nice fire with floo." He went to get Methos from the dining room. "Prof, the Ministry wants to talk to you as a rep of the rest of us," he said, looking at his forearm. "I put him in my study."

"Thank you, Xander." He stood up. "Excuse me for a few moments." He closed the door behind him. "Should I worry?"

"He just jumped Moody about his shit."

Methos smiled. "A decent auror. I'm impressed."

"One in power who just told Harry he couldn't fight anymore and gave him good reasons and promised to come get him for the final battle so he could do his part and only his part."

Methos nodded, giving him a happy look. "Then I'd be honored to meet with him." He walked away, stopping to look in the library. "Go eat. Now." He went into the study across the hall and closed the door behind him. "You needed something?"

The man smiled at him. "Many things, Methos, but for right now, I'll accept the Banes letting us help and sharing their information faster."

Methos sat down, looking him over. "You know of me?"

"It was rather obvious. Plus, MacLeod managed to find the Leaky and walk inside. He's a right bastard when he's in the mood, huh?"

Methos laughed. "Definitely. I'm trying to keep Potter from becoming him."

"Please do so. It'll make him a happier person over all." He leaned closer. "I was there the last year Philip and Nick were there, sir. I've wanted to meet you for a while now because you are so good and you could teach me a hell of a lot. But for right now, I'll settle for some information and a promise to bring it to your brethren."

"I think I can do that," Methos said, leaning back on the couch and getting comfortable. "Ask away."

He smiled. "Ooh, unfettered questioning, my favorite thing," he said happily.

***

Petunia Dursley opened her front door and walked backwards at the behest of the man with the wand standing there. He was an odd little wizard: bald, gentle looking, wore glasses. He was wearing a tattered robe. His wand was pure black. His eyes were pure black. His skin was very pale. "Who are you?" she asked.

"The Unmentionables, ma'am. The Ministry has been watching your house for a while now and we are here to ask you questions about the care of one Harry James Potter." He made her sit down. "There are reports of abusive behavior on your behalf. In this case, we could not ask the child because he is emotionally damaged." She started to complain and he smiled. "Try it, lady, I saw it for myself the last time." She whimpered, trying to curl up. "If you cooperate, this won't hurt a bit. If you don't, I cannot promise that. Another of us is talking with your husband and son. If you are found innocent, then nothing will happen. If not, it will be like this never happened." He made her nod. "Good." He pulled out two suction cups and stuck them onto her head, then laid the trailing ends of the strings attached to them into a peculiar metal bowl he pulled out a leather case she hadn't seen him carrying. Then the world went black.

When the Unmentionable was done, he sent it to his boss, who sent back a guilty verdict nearly immediately. It had only take the first few minutes of viewing her memories. He released the suction cups and replaced everything, then he raised his wand. "Good bye, Mrs. Dursley. Don't worry, we never met," he told her, waving his wand. "Obliviate."

***

Dinner was once again in Xander's dining room. It was the only place big enough to hold all them, the Weasley elders, Remus Lupin, and the group from LA. The rest of the Banes had remarked on the vampires in the basement, the twins asking if it was the newest and hottest craze in California. Luna was busy patting her stallion's hand. She had flooed Madam Pomfrey and had her come help the muggle healer, doing the healing spells herself, with Dawn's help. Tip Top was gently seated by her mates. Emilia and Greg were both there and smiling at each other. The others were looking from Greg and Emilia, to Xander and Draco, to Luna and Wes wondering who was going to go for a shag first. Xander clinked his glass. "Let's get this started so we can eat. I'm damn hungry and I know Tip Top needs to eat." The twins nodded. "Prof, you called this one?"

"Some bread," Des said, bringing it in. "Didn't want to interrupt." She hurried back out.

"We don't mind you, Des," Methos called. He looked at the group, especially at the students. "After the small attack at the school today," he started, but didn't get to finish because of the outraged noises.

"Someone cursed some quidditch players," Harry said over the complaints. "They weren't hurt and they're all being uncursed tonight and asked what went on. Oliver said his was a healer." He looked around. "After that momentous bout of stupidity, professor?"

"After that minor blip on the happiness of the group, I was fortunate enough to be talked to be a higher-up in the aurors." Mass snorting was heard and he shook his head. "This one wanted Ron and Harry to sit out until the final battle. He wants all the current students to be left alone. He also sent people to talk to Harry's aunt and uncle, which ended up in their memories being erased of their beloved nephew," he said with a nod toward Harry. "His custody now firmly rests in this house, and with the Weasleys whenever they see fit to invite him over." That got some clapping. "He also nearly begged for us to share information with him. He said he was witness to Nick and Philip's most momentous last year and the worst prank ever seen inside the school."

"Really?" one twin asked.

"What did you do?" the other asked.

Tip Top patted them both on the cheeks. "It was horrible. Didn't turn out right at all. It created this mass of lavender bubbles that floated down the halls and tried to eat people. Greg, didn't you stop that one?"

"After being attacked the second time," Greg agreed, giving the two wannabes tolerant looks. "I should have made you both clean my clothes."

"We would have," Nick offered.

"It would have gotten us out of detention," Philip agreed.

"You deserved it," Severus said firmly. "I was well within my rights as a teacher to give it to you." He looked at his fellow professor. "They want our information?"

"They want us to share in a more timely manner and to work out strategies so they can call on us for any battles they have planned. Minus the younger generation." He gave them a smug look. "He also wanted to take lessons from me but that is a different matter."

"Does that mean this thing is half over with?" Harry asked. "Are we on the downhill side of the war?"

"If we are, I'm not giving up contact again," Greg said firmly. "I will pout if I don't get regular notes and talks from you guys. I missed you the first time."

"Shit, me too," Nick admitted, looking at his plate. "I'm sorry, Greg, I always seemed too busy and then things got out of hand. I wanted to, but I never got around to it."

"I was forbidden," Philip reminded him. "But I'm not any more." He reached over and gave him a pat. "It won't happen this time. We learned our lessons from the last time." Greg looked relieved. "So, shall we share it?"

"Some of our information is pretty specialized, will they be able to use it?" Tip Top asked.

"I pointed that out myself," Methos offered. "I used Emilia's observations on emotional stability as an example. They told me they do have a veela working for them and if we work in partnership then you'll still be using it, whether or not they do."

"Let me get this straight," Ron butted in. "The Ministry, the people who last year tried to claim Harry was crazy and that the war hadn't restarted, the people who are still mostly denying that anything is happening, want to *help* us? They're wiling to share information, give us credit, and come when we call? The *Ministry*?"

"With Fudge gone, it's not as bad," Arthur told him. "The current Minister is slimy, unintelligent, and vaguely mentally impaired from inbreeding, but he knows what's going on. He has family among the Death Eaters. He's asked that we keep it subtle, but he did call me up to his office to talk about Harry's DA thing and the Order last week." Harry looked stunned. "Also, I do have a report from work." He took a deep breath. "Do any of you know what Sivradros powder is?"

Emilia raised her hand but Luna beat her. "A mind control agent created by a rogue alchemist in the late eighteenth century to keep the wizards from muggle-born families from taking their skills back there. It was widely used during the industrial revolution on any witch or wizard who had a problem with the factories because the Ministry at the time thought that would be a good step for humanity in general, hoping that they would join us in enlightenment. It was generally thought to be a secret use substance, only used by the Unmentionables but my father's seen evidence of it now and again over the last fifty years."

"Very good," Professor Snape told her, looking impressed. "Your father does have some uses after all."

She nodded. "Very many, including finding a snarkrack."

"What is a snarkrack?" Emilia asked.

"Father said it's the first animal that isn't cataloged that he runs into. Preferably with horns." The other students laughed and patted her if they could reach her. "He says they're out there."

"He should look in the rain forest," Jim told her. "There's lots of things down there that no one ever mentions and most don't know about."

"And he speaks from personal experience," Blair added. Jim nudged him and he grinned. "What?" he asked innocently. "You do."

"Well, we found it in Dumbledore's hair," Methos finished, breaking into the dog and pony show those two usually brought with them. "We also found some in Madam Sprout's hair and in mine, but I seem to be able to shake it off. One wonders why," he said with another smug little smile.

"Hmm. Immortality, good for fighting off people telling you what to do," Xander agreed. He looked at Snape. "You?" He shook his head. "Why Madam Sprout?"

"Whomever knows about Miss Summers. The Headmaster so thoughtfully told her. However, this her is even now in custody because she is considered very dangerous. I believe you knew her Xander. Anyanka?"

"My ex?" he spluttered. Methos nodded. "Oh well." He toasted the Sunnydale bunch. "Another wonderful Xander girlfriend." They cheered him back. "So, is Albus back to normal? Or is going to snark at Draco the next time he sees him?"

"No, he won't be," Snape assured him. "He sent me with his sincere apologies to all of the students sitting here and to you, Xander, though he did say you should have to take their seventh year with them because it would solve all those nasty problems."

"Yeah, but then I wouldn't be allowed to apparate. Or allowed to do magic whenever I wanted. That doesn't really come in handy."

"Those have both been refitted with an age requirement," Snape assured him. "It is now seventeen." Xander grimaced. "The only problem with this plan is your residence."

"It would solve a lot of problems," Harry agreed. "No more having to run and get you."

"You could give us lessons on demand," Ron agreed.

"I could offer to teach a few specialty classes," Xander pointed out.

"Then you wouldn't be able to sleep with Draco," Ron said with a grin. "Even if you are married."

"Yet, you would be there in case someone went wild next year," Methos agreed.

"We'd get a good spy in the school," Greg told him.

Emilia nodded. "Plus, you alone could finish Draco, Harry, and Ron's training, plus help with Dawn and Luna's when Holly starts teaching them next year."

"I've been taking some lessons from her already," Dawn told her. "Mail from Ethan is getting slow again."

Snape nodded. "That is true. Except for his missives to his other student."

Luna shrugged. "They're mash notes, not love missives. I get love missives from my stallion," she said, smiling at Wesley. He went very pink. "Ooh, one of my favorite colors."

"You're an odd duck, Lovegood," Buffy told her. "You should have seen him when I first met him. Then he was geeky, nerdy, and really stuffy. Three piece suit and coordinating tie in the middle of spring sort of stuffy."

"It's a Ravenclaw trait to like smart men," Luna said with a wicked grin. "The more geeky the better, but I like Wesley now that he's learned to loosen up and cut loose. He can always put on the suits if it amuses him but I *like* him in his leathers." He blushed brighter pink. So she kissed his cheek. "Poor baby, am I embarrassing you?"

"Yes," he squeaked, then picked up his water to drink. "Luna, please quit," he pleaded.

"For now," she agreed. She looked at the rest of them, noticing they were looking at her. "What?" she asked innocently. "Pink is one of my favorite colors."

"I'm sure it is," Ron agreed, nodding to show he was humoring her. Sometimes she scared him. "So, Xander, can we count on you coming in undercover? It'd be neat to share the house with you."

"Then I'd have to come over to get shagged," Draco pointed out.

"The hat did have him in Gryffindor last," Harry reminded him.

"Yes, and he's done a lot of heroic and brave stuff since then," Dawn agreed. "I guess Draco will just have to figure out how to charm the portrait."

"I would never live down having to go over there for a shag every night," Draco pointed out. "Besides, I like sleeping on top of him. He's very warm."

Snape coughed. "When Dumbledore was discussing this idea, the hat spoke up and said it would gladly resort both of you into Hufflepuff." Draco spluttered and Xander shuddered. "You don't think so?"

"I'd never live it down," Draco complained.

Dawn snorted. "Please! My sisters would love to have their very own tame Slytherin. We'd do all sorts of stuff, including talk to you about fashion and clothes." She took a quick drink of her water. "Plus, you know the sixth and seventh years have their own common room so they can shag like bunnies," she pointed out. "No problems in there."

"Make sure you never go there, Dawn," Buffy said firmly, glaring at Ron.

"No, I seem to prefer closets," Dawn told her. Buffy coughed and choked so Dawn smiled sweetly at her. "What?" she asked with mock innocence. Her dog barked form the doorway. "Come in, Midnight. We're just joking around."

"We're both fairly intelligent creatures, we should at least be in Ravenclaw," Xander pointed out. "I could stand that."

Draco shrugged. "I suppose they're all right, in their odd little ways. Lovegood, anything you want to share?"

"We'd look at you like you were animals rutting in the fields," she told him. "Sex to most of us is something to look at and contemplate doing someday, when you have to bear a child."

"Ravenclaws are all about the pleasure of the mind over the pleasures of the body," Ginny agreed.

"Good, see that you date one of those," Ron told her. She hit him. "Hey!"

"Shut it, Ron. Before I mention what I saw you doing...." Her mouth was covered.

"Ron," his mother warned. "Ginny." She gave them a sheepish grin. "No more fighting."

"Yes, mum, we'll be good," they agreed, smiling at her like the perfect little angels they were. Even the twins cracked up at that one.

"Did you two know that you got more rumors started?" Luna asked the twins. They shook their heads, looking clueless. "Ron and Dawn have been shopping for baby shower presents."

"Ooh," Emilia said, wincing. "Sorry, guys."

"It's all right, they went to the main sources of gossip and told them why," Draco told her. "Those two now think that she's mentally incapable of being afraid."

"That's my girl," Cordy said, grinning at Dawn. "Never let them see you sweating, unless they think it's a hot trait."

Dawn smirked. "Pansy and Millicent just don't understand; their puny viewpoints of the world have no impact on my life. Nor do their snarky comments about my boots, my belly shirts, or any of it. They can find a deep hole and try to swallow it, like someone has obviously taught them if what I accidentally walked in on in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom was any clue."

"They were doing what?" Snape asked.

"Blowing two of your seventh year team," Dawn told her. "They threatened me so I wouldn't tell you. Ooops," she said smugly, giving him a look. "Buffy, you'd like this guy. He's a cranky grouch about his classroom but he's been very helpful and helped protect my secret until the Headmaster eavesdropped on my sex talk with Emilia."

"Sex talk?" Buffy asked, looking at Xander. "At her age?"

"She's fifteen, Buffy. There are girls her age, even in the wizarding world, who have three-year-olds. I made sure she wouldn't do anything further until she had talked with Emilia, who is excellent at giving that talk. She gave the boys theirs too."

"You can say I have some experience watching the human condition," Emilia told her. "Veelas are very sexual beings but I only had people perform for me until I met Greg," she said at the growing confused look.

"Sorry, literary vampire slayers tend to go quickly."

"Speaking of vampire slayers and quickly," Cordelia put in. "Faith's up for parol for some reason."

"Just keep her over there and no one will get hurt," Xander retorted.

"Xander, she's changed," Angel told her.

"Yay. Keep her on your side of the pond and we'll all be happy campers once again," Xander told him, firmer this time.

"Was she the one who all but molested you?" Draco asked. Xander nodded.

"That's not a good thing," Fred pointed out.

"I didn't know that was possible," Spike told him.

"It was over too quick and I couldn't complain. She literally had my mouth covered," Xander told everyone. "Besides, my body was screaming with the need, it had been years."

"You were only fifteen yourself," Buffy pointed out.

"Buffy, just because my body deaged didn't mean that my memories did and it didn't mean that all my hormones left either. I nearly got my pseudo parents busted for child abuse because I kept drawing breasts in second grade. It was over too fast for me to try and make a complaint and it wasn't like she would have cared if I had. So please, keep her over there and we'll be fine."

"Sure," Cordelia agreed, looking down at him. "You okay with that overall?"

"No. Wes, you?"

"Not a bit," he admitted. "I fear I shall have many nightmares if she's released."

"I'll protect you," Luna promised. "A slayer is no match for a witch at the height of her powers. Or for Ethan."

"Ethan's a bit of a coward," Buffy told her. "He won't face off to Faith."

"He will if I ask," Luna told her calmly. "I know he will."

Buffy left her with her delusions. "If you say so."

Molly cleared her throat. "I was wondering if you needed help with the problem in LA? It seemed rather urgent earlier."

"Remus and I talked about what I had seen and he and Ethan came up with a plan," Cordelia told her. "It's some dangerous temporal magic but they were too well-entrenched when we fled. We couldn't have beaten them even if we had the entire US Army."

"You're going back to the battle," Harry said flatly. Cordelia looked at him and nodded. "Any chance you can change things?"

"I don't know, Harry," Remus said honestly. "If I can, you know I would as long as it doesn't harm anyone else." Harry nodded that he understood. "After that, we'll be portkeying to LA to their present offices. They weren't there then."

"Doyle was alive then and we were in our original offices," Cordelia agreed, looking at her plate. "This is going to be really hard on a lot of levels but we've got to do it or we've given up hope."

"Speaking of hope, where is Darth Rosenburg?" Xander asked.

"We've got her," Nick told him. "She's in good care."

"Good." He cut into his food. "So, do we tell the aurors we'll help?"

"I think we should," Tip Top put in. "We're a damn small army when it comes down to it. He's got up to five times our number. Even if we only get a little bit of support, it'd be worth it." She touched her stomach. "You're already down members because of me and possibly because of Emilia."

"Even if you only get that one, he can take Tip Top's place in the battle line," George agreed

Fred nodded. "There is no way our son is going to grow up to follow in Harry's shoes."

"Thank you," Harry told them. They smiled at him.

Xander looked around. "I'm not hearing dissent or bad points."

"We can keep some information back," Emilia noted. "Things that they don't need to know, including who is a member and who isn't."

"They know about me and Methos," Ron told her.

"That's fine, Ron, it's up to each Bane to expose themselves or not," Philip told him. "Since you did, that's your choice."

Ron nodded. "I gave them Methos' name."

"I am very aware that he already knew I was one, Ron, as he did most of the group. He mentioned Philip, Nick, Emilia, and Tip Top by name." He looked at Greg. "He seems to think you're still in America."

"I am most of the time." He looked at Emilia. "Guys, I've got a research request to make when we move on to the next point."

"Let's move on," Nick offered. "There haven't been any 'no' votes so I'm guessing it's fine." Most of the crew shrugged. "Okay, what's on your plate, Greg?"

"Grissom, some of you have met him?" Some of the group nodded. "He's got some funky hearing loss due to the bones in his ear going funny. Even with surgery there's no telling if he'll get it back or not, or if it'll happen again. He's the sort who'll die if he's forced from the field."

"So you're looking for subtle hearing charms?" Blair asked.

Greg nodded. "Something I can attach to his glasses and he doesn't know about. I don't want him to start having the 'magic can cure any ailment' approach. Penn had someone who came to him to heal them the other day because of that."

"Penn's not a healer," Xander pointed out. "Nor is he a battle wizard." He looked out the door. "Grams, do we have anything in the library on hearing problems or hearing charms?" he called.

"Yes, dear, I'll pull those."

"Thank you," Xander called back. "There, that's a good place to start," Xander told him.

"As long as you're subtle and no one realizes it's on him, there shouldn't be a problem, even when he's over here," Jim pointed out. "If I'm reading the laws right."

"You are," Philip assured him. "We'll figure it out, Greg. He is a very good man and he is covering for you." He ate a piece of his dinner. "Anything else?"

Tip Top cleared her throat. "We went for the number of babies test today and it was inconclusive. It's either twins or one and a shadow."

"We'll build a bigger basket," Dawn promised. She smiled at them. "Buying a little bit each trip is pretty easy anyway."

"Yes, it is," Ron agreed. "Speaking of, Xander, you forgot to pay us."

"No, I left the checks on your beds," he told him.

"No you didn't," Dawn told him. "I never got my allowance either."

"I thought I did. Follow me into my study later and I'll correct it if I haven't already." He looked at Greg and Emilia. "You guys got news?"

"We have an appointment next week," Greg told them. "The tests came out mixed. Some yes, some no."

"Muggle tests can be that way," Snape reminded him.

"The muggle, the machine at his work, and the wizarding ones are all mixed," Emilia told him. Snape looked impressed. "So we're going to get a definitive answer next week. We'll let you know at the next dinner. Which is when?"

"Um, I'd say in two weeks?" Xander suggested.

"No can do, I've got work," Greg told him.

"That's a Hogsmeade weekend for those who stay during the break," Draco noted.

"You're all coming back, right?" Xander asked. His crew all nodded. "Good. I'll have fresh sheets put onto everyone's beds." He looked at Dawn, then at Ron. "You two will follow Des's orders about room use." They nodded. "Thank you." He looked around. "Anything for the LA crew needing to be discussed?"

"Ethan and Luna have been playing with her time turner," Cordelia offered.

"That's going to take a lot of turns," Ron put in. "It's usually one turn an hour."

"Ethan thinks he figured out how to reset it," Luna told him. "So it's now one turn a month if it works."

"That will be easier on the wrists," Harry agreed. "Remember to pack supplies. Just in case."

"We'll be taking Dawn's magically expanding school bag," Buffy told him. "We're buying food and everything tonight." She looked down at Harry. "We will try our hardest not to change anything but the important matters. Got it?" He nodded. "Good boy. We'll need an exact account of that battle as well, just in case. That's where we're starting at."

"I can do that," Harry agreed. "It's not a problem for me. I've got it in the pensieve in the Headmaster's office."

"We can get that from him," Methos agreed. "What other help did you need?"

"We'll need to get into there so we don't have to sneak in after the kids," Cordelia told him. "It'll add more time if we have to fight through magical stuff."

"When you're ready, I can take you inside," Arthur assured them. "The current Minister of Magic has authorized me to do anything necessary to stop the war faster, including take extra time off to help with the Order." His wife patted his hand. "Anything else?"

"Just to buy our supplies," Cordelia pointed out. "They froze our bank accounts."

"Oh, I think we can handle some of that," Xander said smugly. "I fully kitted out the boys for a survival trek. We've got boxes of stuff in the auxiliary basement."

"That would be helpful," Angel said, giving him a smile. "You're much nicer now that you're not flitting around and swishing your clothes."

"Ah, come on," Xander teased, grinning at him. "Admit it, you looked the poofy me. You really, really did."

"No, I didn't," Angel told him.

"That's why you had an erection?" Luna asked. Wesley spluttered and she patted him. "I was checking to make sure his performance was good enough," she told him. "Will you have to worry about aging?" she asked Fred. "I asked Ethan but he wasn't sure."

"I don't know," Fred admitted. "Even if we do, it's only just over a year. Thirteen months?" she asked, looking at Harry and Remus.

Remus shook his head. "At this point, we're two weeks off the anniversary of that battle."

"Won't that be awkward going a month a turn?" Ron asked.

"We had plans to do a half-turn," Cordelia told them.

"Then they should probably go into the prophecy room," Harry told Arthur. "It looked really dusty, like no one ever goes in there."

"There are even less-used rooms," Arthur told him. "I'll also give them letters of permission and the like."

"The Ministry was really paranoid at that time, will it work?" Remus asked.

"I'll be giving myself back then a long letter as well," Arthur told him.

"Wouldn't it be easier to have them go back to a spot like here, where there's nothing, and then find you?" Harry asked.

"I would try to warn the Order and it would make them very jumpy."

"Which Sirius was that night," Remus reminded him. "That's why he ran out. He *knew* Harry was in trouble."

"We'll figure that out before we turn," Buffy told them. "They're both really good ideas."

Ron shook his head. "Have them send the letter to my mum, have her bring them in at lunch time as guests visiting dad on some sort of project. He was working late that night and he said his coworker had left early. Have her lead the muggles in blindfolded, with a call ahead to point out that she was doing this on her husband's orders."

"Have it be about something that someone's charmed, tell them that they're kin to a muggle-born," Harry added. "Say, someone's charmed their telephone to work on the floo network and you need to know how the thing works before you can send on the report."

"I don't have anyone in Floo Regulation that I'd trust," Arthur pointed out.

"Plus, you're ignoring the Percy factor," Molly added. "He would surely hear and start to spread it around in disgust."

"But, it could be said that they'd be coming in because their muggle-born relative has exposed them and I'm bringing them in for interviews about what they've brought home. They're allowed to have some things, like owls and floos, but not use their broomsticks in the back yard. Some of the stronger toys as well are forbidden to them. Things like Rememberalls."

"That would work," Harry agreed. "Send a message to Neville as well? Have him be the one who found out? It got mixed up with his?"

"No, the less people involved the better," Arthur told him. "This is strictly to get them to the right point in time."

Buffy nodded. "It's better if someone anonymous reported it. But that is an excellent idea. Can we have some of those cute singing cards too?"

"Sure," Arthur agreed, smiling at her. "Those aren't on the exclusion list but they're considered chancy because others could find them. So we'll say that you've got a muggle-born sister who's a witch and her things are on the line so we brought the whole family in for a discussion on safety."

Buffy nodded. "I like that. But what about Angel and Spike?"

"Family servants," Spike told her. "We will need a shady spot though."

"Not a problem. The tree in the back, past the gardens, always is in shade. The closer you are to the trunk the better and the shady spot is on the left if you're facing the tree. It used to be one of my favorite spots to lounge around and ignore my mother."

Spike nodded. "And since there won't be a house then...."

"No neighbors either," Cordelia noted. "But what about transportation. I don't really want to have to steal a car."

"My jeep's underground. As long as it gets back because I'll know if it's been touched," Xander told her.

"Open air vehicle," Luna pointed out. "The Knight Bus?"

"Might not work for Wes or Ethan," Xander told her. "Don't you have to raise your wand?"

Luna sighed and nodded. "Good point."

"There is however still an opening on the other side of the tree. It's an ancient escape hatch to get away from my lessons and it leads down to the old moat, which is partially collapsed."

"Moat?" Dawn asked. "We have a moat?"

"It's my underground working space," Xander told her. "For some of the things I deal in it's better to have a defining line around it. That's why I put a freshwater moat in. It stops some forms of badness from going past it if it kills me. It surrounds my work area, called the swamp. The old one collapsed in the intervening years and we've got a new one built now. I'll show you before our final auction."

"We're holding another one?" Harry asked excitedly. "Can I wear my leathers again?"

"Sure," Xander agreed, smiling at him. "I found a whole bunch of shit sitting in the basement that should have been sent with the last one and the Gringott's people don't want to deal with them because their caverns are too full so we're selling them in another auction. It's planned for the day before you guys have to go back. By the way, I'm going to arrange for you to floo up but take the train back so you can pick me up some things in Diagon that we'll need." The four students involved nodded. "Deal?"

"Deal, but only if I get my allowance," Dawn told him. "I want something hot to wear to this auction thingie." She looked at Draco. "Will you help me with that? I have *no* idea what one wears to one of those."

"They're usually black tie," Wesley told her. "Why are the boys wearing leather?"

"It's the unofficial outfit of cursebreakers on vacation," Xander told him. "We routinely wear grey or brown leather. It's like some unwritten rule."

Ron nodded. "I've got the most comfortable jacket sitting in my trunk but I haven't been able to get it out because *someone* stuck it in there."

"I tried to get it free, Ron," Harry told him.

"Harry!" Xander said sharply.

"Not me, Hermione!" Harry retorted. "You know how she can be sometimes about not being the wizarding ideal." He scowled at him for a moment then looked at Ron again. "We'll have to get Xander to break it for you, Ron."

"Please, Xander?" Ron asked.

"Sure, Ron." He looked at Molly, who was staring at her youngest son. "He does look good in it and he's slept in it a few times. It's a very practical garment."

"I'm sure it is," Molly said, still frowning at her youngest son. Ron grinned at her. "Son."

"What? He bought it. He insisted, mum."

"I did insist, Molly," Xander agreed. "It's practical everywhere but in the desert."

"I do not want my son dressing like that one," she said, pointing at Spike.

"Mum, I'm never going to bleach my hair that way," Ron promised, looking very serious. "I can promise I will never be a blond."

"See that you don't," Buffy told him. "You'd look really fake."

"Speaking of fake, what did the stupid bitches who hurt my dog get?" Dawn asked Professor Snape.

"Language," Buffy snapped.

"They poisoned my dog, sister dear, I'm allowed to call them that and worse," Dawn reminded her. "You said a lot of things when someone poisoned your Willow pet." She looked at Professor Snape again. "Detentions?"

"In-tower suspension until exams," Snape told her. "That means they cannot make up tests or assignments without the teacher's permission. That also means they are having to live off the good will of their housemates for things like notes for their final exams." He looked smug. "Along with that, their parents were notified and both sets of parents came down quite harshly on the young girls. They're to do an extra year of schooling somewhere else if they manage to pass. If they get held back due to failing scores then their parents will send them back and arrange other punishments for their next year. Does that calm your fury, Miss Summers?"

"Mostly, yeah," Dawn admitted.

"But they're going to get to lounge around all day and do nothing," Buffy pointed out.

"They're in my house, Miss Summers, they're genetically incapable of not learning something," Luna shared, giving her a smug look. "Also, no muggle technology works so there is no such thing as a television for them to watch or a radio to listen to. Just the very quiet house all day long and whatever books they can talk their housemates into getting for them from the library. Trust me, they're not going to be helped very much because those girls lost us a hundred points each." All the students, present and former, winced at that. Luna was still smiling though. "They are going to be *very* sorry. Nearly as sorry as those girls who stole Mr. Potter and put him into that room with the torturous devices and dolls."

"Someone tortured Harry?"

"No, some of the girls kidnaped him and put him into their room," Draco told her. "The girls who lived in that room had things like voodoo dolls which glorified the sexual torture they would want to preform on him. Those, along with the paintings and other manipulated photos showing him a sexual nature, scared him so badly he took your sister and hid for three days in a hidden chamber within the school."

"It was really sick, Buffy. They did some damn odd things to those dolls. Like not even the S&M people would do sort of things. We're talking like the cannibal in Germany who advertized and got a victim to eat while he was still partially alive sort of things."

"Eww," Methos noted.

"Sorry, Professor."

"I read the articles," he pointed out, looking down at his plate. "At least nothing on here is vaguely human looking." He ate a piece of steak. "Definitely cow."

Harry looked at Buffy. "I was so scared it was them coming that I broke down and cried when I saw it was Professor Snape, clinging to him to save me."

"Which made the girls really pissed at those who had done those dolls," Luna offered. "That's why we kicked the hiney juice out of them."

"Yes, we did," Dawn agreed. "All the girls in the school got them." Buffy gave her a proud smile. "But I stayed to guard Harry because he knew he could trust me."

"And so started off other rumors that she was now going out with him," Luna finished. "Those were quickly squelched by a few well-placed elbows into already sore ribs though."

"I guess you really are popular," Cordelia said in awe.

"She's also one of the prettiest," Draco said honestly. "Did you send her pictures from our holiday ball?"

"Nope. Hold on." Dawn rushed upstairs to her room, grabbing her photo album from this year and rushing back down. Her poor puppy hadn't even woken up. "Here, it should be about a fifth of the way through."

Buffy flipped through, smiling at all the girls in the book. "Your housemates?" Dawn nodded. "They're cute, in a fashion clone sorta way."

"All Hufflepuffs like fashion," Luna told her. "Dawn had an instant in with them because she brought in fashion mags, which she shared."

"I almost had to, they kept making smart remarks about my bellybutton," Dawn pointed out. "By the way, Cordy, the ones from Christmas seem to have vanished after being copied a few times. When you get back into the current time, would you please send me some more?"

Buffy found the picture and grinned a silly little grin. That robe thingy suited her sister perfectly. "You were beautiful, Dawn. You and Luna both." She smiled at them. "You both looked way better than I did at my prom." The girls both smiled at her and Buffy passed it to Cordelia, letting her see.

"I'll make sure you get a full shipment each month," Xander soothed, smiling at her. "There are some that will come by owl."

"Yeah, but they're banned," Luna told him. "That way we couldn't spook Harry."

"Now that he knows, it shouldn't," Xander offered.

"Speaking of, your fanmail will be saved for you both in the morning if you're going to be late," Snape told them. "It seems the Headmaster was so sorry he offered to give you a few extra days off."

"All the way to break?" Dawn asked.

"Fat chance," Methos told her. He looked at her. "You have a defense test before then, young lady. Your next class period if you miss tomorrow, when I shall be going over the covered material in review."

She nodded. "I remember, and I've got all the notes, Professor. I promise I'm doing good."

"You are," he admitted, "but there is still room for improvement."

"How are her other grades?" Buffy asked.

"Fine everywhere but in my class," Snape told her. "She does not have the talent for doing the precision and infinitely-patient work of brewing potions."

"Can she drop it so her GPA doesn't suffer?" Buffy asked.

Methos coughed. "No GPA's at Hogwarts. It's a mandatory class and she won't be held back by the teacher's prior arrangement with her."

"That's right, because Dawn sucks donkey boy parts in Potions and is only doing marginally better in herbology, though much better than at first now that I realize some of them are better to deal with than mom's crabgrass."

"Remember, next year, you'll get stuff to help deal with acne," Harry told her. "If you learn just that one and a few beauty cremes, your roommates will bow at your feet."

"That's right, that's how Hermione got through her last few years with a lot more pocket money than her parents sent her," Ron agreed.

"Then why didn't you do that, Weasley?" Draco asked, smirking at him.

"What girl would trust a guy to make beauty cremes?" Ron asked.

"Unless he's gay," Cordy put in. "They can do it all they want because they use them too."

"That's right," Dawn agreed. "Finding a good gay hairdresser is the aim of every girl in the know as she reaches toward adulthood. Speaking of, Xander, do you know any good hairdressers? I mean, you've probably done some of them in the past."

Xander thought back, looking up at the ceiling. "Yeah, I believe I did, but I don't know how he does hair," he said, turning to look at her. Draco pounced him, dragging him across the edge of the table.

"Hey!" Spike complained, moving his plate. "Do you poofs mind?"

"I'm going to fuck the memory of every other lover you've had right out of your head," Draco growled, ripping Xander's clothes to get to him.

"Not this again," Methos complained.

Molly looked fairly shocked. "Do they do that often?"

"Xander, that's not supposed to be a floor-show activity," Buffy pointed out. "As cute as I think Draco's ass is, I don't want to see that much of it."

Ron, ignoring the whole thing having seen it a few times, looked at his bigger brothers. "So, you're still not sure if it's twins or not? Just to help us with the planning?"

Tip Top put down her fork. "As of right now, we've seen one baby and a shadowy thing that they can't figure out what it is."

"So it might be twins for each twin?" Ron asked. She blinked a few times. "You know, quads?" His mother and father both spewed their drinks into their plates as one twin sank to the floor in a dead faint and the other was giving his wife a thoughtful look.

"Well, we do share you," Fred noted. "It's possible that it might be."

He had to catch his wife as she fainted.

Harry patted Ron on the shoulder. "Nice one!" he congratulated.

***

The LA crew scavenged what they needed from the supplies in the basement, piling Dawn's school bag deeply. Then they adjourned out to the tree with their letters and a spare owl for the letters to be sent with. Angel found the opening and the latch before they left, just in case it was daylight on the other side. He turned and watched Luna say her goodbyes to Wesley and Ethan, rolling his eyes at their kissing. Not that they weren't cute, but she was very adamant that they both get many too many kisses. Finally he couldn't wait any longer and he pulled her off, pushing her back gently. "Stay," he told her.

"Of course," Luna agreed. She watched as Ethan fumbled with the catch she had put on and moved closer, mentally checking where her wand was. There was no way she was letting her stallions go back in time with someone who looked like Cordelia Chase, they might get ensnared and forget her. "Remember, everyone has to be touching it or someone who's in contact with it, especially those people with bags." Angel and Spike had raided Xander's armory as well, only taking a few things. She checked them and smiled at Ethan, who was giving her a look. "You should be able to undo it with your thumb." She subtly leaned against Spike's coat, hoping it would be enough. Ethan undid the latch and she felt the world go whizzing past. Yes! On the other side, most of them fell down to pant in the grass from the disorientation but she had done this before so she opened the latch and nudged Angel. "Get underground," she ordered. Spike and Wesley both stared at her. "What?" she asked. "Now! There's a breeze and the tree's only partially covered in leaves." The vampires hurried down, Wesley grabbing her last so they could have one hell of a fight. "What? I must have been in contact with Spike's coat. Besides, I was at the battle. I know where everyone was." She closed the door and stared at them in the faint light Ethan had produced. "Get over it, now," she ordered, heading down to look at their enclosure. She took the owl's cage and the letter Buffy was holding. "To Arthur?" She nodded so Luna went up and sent it off. "There." She came back down. "Anything else that needs to happen right now?"

"Not at the moment," Cordelia said. She looked at Angel. "It happened, we move on." She looked at Luna. "You've now got to learn self-defense."

"You mean like casting a hex that immobilizes or like casting a jinx that makes the person confused and dazed?"

"No, like the wandless and magicless sort," Buffy told her. "I'll work with her." She saw Cordelia's smirk. "You knew," she accused.

"Yup, sure did. She's insecure enough and I did see it in my vision. It was like she was glowing more. Now, what next?"

"Next, the vamps bed down, we set a watch up top," Luna told her. "Arthur should be getting the owl today. Probably late this afternoon based on the size and wind outside. That means he'll probably be here tonight. If not tonight, definitely tomorrow." She pulled her wand out from behind her ear and tapped her watch. "Updatus," she hissed. It spun backwards and reoriented, including the date feature. "Fully a muggle item but it still works because it's mechanical," she told them, looking at the date. "We're two days early by five hours," she announced. "We left the school after dark two days from now."

Spike looked at her. "At least you're handy."

"I'm trying to be impressive," she retorted gently.

"It's working, you're impressing the hell outta me," Cordelia told her. "I thought you were a book nerd."

"You seem to do that a lot," Fred pointed out. "Wes, me, Willow I think you said once."

"I'm very impressed," Wesley told her, smiling at her.

"Now you know why I picked her as my student," Ethan said proudly.

Luna gave him a pat on the chest. "This gives you just over a year to teach me everything you think I should learn. Real magic, not just the sex stuff. It's fun but I'm very ambitious." She grabbed Fred's arm. "Come on, we've got some time so we can make beds while they argue about me." She led the other girl down the stairs, creating her own light, which Ethan and Wesley hadn't taught her yet. "Eww, snakes," she said.

"Coming," Spike sighed, looking at the other members. "She's a handy bit." He smirked at the look on Ethan and Wesley's faces. "She's a Ravenclaw, you twits. They're knowledge suckers. Feel lucky she hasn't sucked it directly from your brain."

"She can do that?" Wesley asked. Spike simply laughed and walked down the stairs to help the girls. He looked at Ethan. "Can she do that?"

Ethan shrugged. "I don't know. We know Willow figured out how to suck knowledge from books along with the magic from them. Perhaps she can." He looked very impressed. He had underestimated her badly and now he was going to have to see what she was really capable of. Besides being vaguely creepy and odd. He went down to talk to his protégé.

Cordelia set the watch rotation with her first, then got everyone else situated while she sat under the tree to watch for Arthur Weasley.

***

Greg looked up as the older woman walked into the room he and Emilia had been waiting in. "Hi."

"Good afternoon," she said pleasantly. She adjusted her cap. "I hear we're not sure if we're pregnant or not?"

"We've gotten mixed results," Greg said, pulling out the folder he had put everything into. He laid it on the exam table and spread it out. "We've gotten mixed yes/no and boy/girl messages, plus the muggle tests weren't conclusive and neither was blood work through a computerized check."

"Excuse him, he's a potions master," Emilia offered. "He works with the crime lab."

"Ah." The mediwitch nodded. "I understand." She looked at their ratio of results and then at Emilia. "Half veela, dear?" She nodded. "All right. You climb up here while your husband sits down and stares at your magnificence." She pulled her wand and moved it over Emilia's stomach, noticing the glow was again split. "I didn't know your type had more than one uterus."

"We don't," Emilia said. She blinked a few times. "You can't tell either?"

"Oh, I've got a few tests yet that should be definitive." She looked at Greg. "I'll do each three times just in case this sort of thing happens again, though I don't expect it too." She patted Emilia as she helped her lay back on the table, starting a new test. Again, mixed results.

"Could it be another problem mimicking the results?" Greg asked. "I read somewhere that tumors can sometimes set off pregnancy tests."

"No, dear, I would have seen that," the mediwitch assured him. She ran the next set of tests, but still mixed. The last one, the one that was supposed to get a definitive answer within minutes of conception also gave her mixed results. She looked at them as she straightened her cap again. "Let me get the healer," she said, still smiling even though she was frustrated. "I'm still getting mixed results."

The healer came in a few minutes later, being just younger than Greg. "I hear we're getting mixed results?" he asked, glancing at the chart, then at them. "Let me do one check then we'll see if we can't figure it out." He did a different charm and it backfired this time, making him squint. "Hmm." He looked at them. "Have you two had sexual relations recently?"

"I'm a consort veela," Emilia told him. "I have sex every few hours with him."

"That may be the problem," he pointed out. "Your body may be hiding it, or mimicking it, due to the presence of active sperm in your body. Let's reschedule you for one week from now and have you abstain."

"That might drive me insane," Emilia told him. "I need it."

"I know, dear, but no one says you can't do other things; just no vaginal intercourse and no other sexual relations the day before. Can you do that?"

"We'll try," Greg told him.

"Good boy." He smiled. "Come back in one week at the same time and we'll see if we get better results then." He closed the folder and left them alone.

"Well, I've always wanted to try some kinkier things with you," she offered. "You up for it?"

He hugged her. "If I can get it up, I'm for anything you're willing to give me."

Replacement.

Professor Severus Snape had the unenviable task of telling his superior that he had managed to misplace a student after dinner that night. He had no idea where Lovegood had gone, but the standard theory among the other Banes was that she had followed her....men back to help them. He walked up to the Headmaster's office, finding him addressing next year's letters. He cleared his throat.

"Which one didn't come back yet?"

"The others will come back after breakfast, they fell asleep while we were talking," he said quietly. Dumbledore looked up at him. "All except Lovegood."

"And where is she? Did she already come back?"

"No," he said, choosing his words carefully. "We believe we have lost her for an unknown period of time." The Headmaster blinked a few times, then carefully put his pen up and clasped his hands on the desk, looking very attentive. "You know about her...attraction to certain wandless wizards?"

"She did do that ritual?" Severus nodded quickly. "And where might she be now?"

"She would probably be with them, a little over a year in the past. At least that is the present theory." Dumbledore took a few deep breaths. "They had to go back to the time of the battle at the Ministry. She lent them the time turner she's had illegally now for however long so they could get back there. We haven't seen her since the group left."

"So, she's back in time, helping thwart a demonic takeover of the United States?" Dumbledore asked, just to make sure he had it correct. Severus nodded again. He looked around. "You know that show where the muggles try to surprise others with horrid practical jokes?"

"Not particularly," Severus admitted. "This is not that."

Dumbledore took another deep breath. "Fine, we seem to have misplaced a student. I'm sure they'll look out for her?"

"I suppose. She seems to have tamed a chaos sorcerer." Dumbledore blinked a few times. "He's teaching her his sort of magic as well as Miss Summers."

"Oh, dear." He stood up. "Thank you, Severus. I'm sure the girl went without alerting anyone that she was going to do so. Young people are often reckless and usually don't care about the stress they put others through. When might we expect her?"

"I believe that would depend on whether or not she remembered what date it was," Xander said as he walked in. "Which she did. She's being escorted up to Ravenclaw as we speak by Molly Weasley." Dumbledore and Severus both shuddered. "I believe Molly's being a reasonable parent at the moment," he said with a smile. "I don't want to attend next year."

"Alexander, there is every chance that next year we will be attacked directly," Dumbledore pointed out. "You'd be fighting with the other Banes I know, but that leaves your last relatives and your consort here to be guarded by us. What happens if it's a split offensive?"

Xander glared at him. "That's not fair, Dumbledore."

"I know," he said quietly. "But it is the truth. I leave the common sense up to you. It would only be a year and even you might learn something. I might even see fit to put you back into Slytherin so you could be with your consort."

"There is a tradition of not placing a relative under a relative's care while in school," Severus pointed out. "He is my cousin and it would look bad to the Regents."

"No worse than having me come back," Xander argued. "I'm not going up to Gryff. I'd have to deal with a bunch of kids that I'd end up having to hurt for their attitudes. And we both know it."

"Yes, but you'll find much the same thing in Slytherin," Snape told him. "To be honest, I fear many of my students would be joining the battle if it comes here."

Xander sat down with a grimace of discontent. "I'm not going to become a Hufflepuff."

"If you would consider it, you might find yourself a home in that tower," Dumbledore pointed out. "They're very fashionable so your consort could...aid them in their yearn for being the most fashionable."

"Dumbledore, they're like a hippie love-in. If I brought my consort in there, they'd try to share," Xander reminded him.

Snape tried to keep it in, he really did, but he had to let out the snort of amusement. "I'm sure he'd be able to fend them off." He looked at his cousin, who was scowling. "Besides, you could spend a lot of time with your sister, plus you could help...toughen them up a bit."

"You want me in there so I can run defense practices?" Xander asked. "I'm sure I could, but I'd get complained at about broken nails. Especially from some of the guys."

Snape shook his head, still trying not to laugh. He really could see that with some of the older males. "You could also have mass shopping trips. Sneaking them out of Hogsmeade for a weekend."

"Severus, they're happy and nice people. Draco and I are both a little dark for their tastes."

"We could ask them," Dumbledore suggested.

"Draco would kill you," Xander reminded him.

"Consider it a job of protecting the weakest members of the school," Dumbledore suggested. "I'm sure most of Gryffindor that can fight will fight. Slytherin may or may not fight, but they'll make a decision. The Ravenclaws will also fight, if only so they can go back to their studies. Most of those nice boys and girls in Hufflepuff will probably lock themselves in their rooms and cower under their covers."

"Which is where they belong," Xander told him firmly. "None of the kids should have to fight. Especially those who haven't mastered a shield charm yet." He stood up. "Don't even think about it. I'll consider your offer, and staying in Slytherin, but not Hufflepuff." He nodded at his cousin and walked away, going to tell his consort the bad news. The Headmaster was a stubborn old beast. He would probably want to have his own way. He found Draco watching the grounds so he snuck up behind him and gave him a strong hug.

"You smell like the Headmaster's office," Draco said quietly, turning to look at him. He saw the quirky smile. "What do you think changed?"

"Hopefully nothing for us," Xander told him. "If it had, we wouldn't be wondering."

"Hmm." He rested his face against Xander's chest. "I hate this war."

"You and me both," he whispered back, stroking down his back. "What happened?"

"You didn't hear from Methos?"

"No, my charm's not been replaced fully yet. I can only hear you boys. What happened?"

"Someone attacked the town where Sandburg was again." Xander stiffened. "He's fine. He told Methos about it. He and Jim took them out while Simon guarded the rest of the town with the constables." He pulled back and looked up. "We're on alert now."

"So I'll have to come back," Xander said, tracing his cheek with his thumb. "I look stupid in a tie."

Draco smiled at him. "I wish you could teach instead. I'd be considered very naughty for sleeping with you." Xander grinned at that. "I'll hunt down Snape tomorrow and resuggest that idea. I refuse to go live in Hufflepuff for my last year."

"Why would you?" a timid voice asked from behind them.

The couple turned to find a few of Dawn's first year housemates watching them. From the looks of them, they had been going back to their house from the library. Xander gave them a smile. "We think the war's going to be solved next year." A few of them nodded. "The Headmaster wanted you guys protected more."

"Because you're too loud and you bother the Slytherins?" Dawn asked as she joined them.

"That too," Draco agreed dryly. "We're fighting against it now."

The spokeswoman for the first years smiled. "We might not mind. As long as you keep your house from picking on us and you help us pick out our clothes the way you used to do your housemates," she offered.

Another nodded. "It'd be nice to get opinions from guys who weren't seeking favors when we're older. They're kinda biased to make us feel good about whatever we're wearing. That's why I wore that tie-dye outfit."

Draco shuddered. It had been a hideous outfit. "You should never wear yellow with your skin tone, you'll look ill. Plus, no more bright colors like that. Stick with the pastels, not the ones that glow on their own." He nearly hit himself for offering advice to a Hufflepuff. What was he doing?

She smiled. "Thank you, Mr. Dumass. I'll go through my wardrobe and take out that and the other outfit. My mother bought me something that was bright teal." She trotted away, most of the girls following her.

"See, you'd have a position as our fashion guru and helper," Dawn said, giving him a wicked grin. "Plus, you could probably claim a room as your own."

Dumbledore came down the hall, smiling at them. "I can sweeten this deal." He looked at the couple. "If you do this for the school, you will be co-head boys next year." Draco blinked a few times in shock. "That would give you your own room. It would give you unfettered access to the majority of the school with whoever you want accompanying you. As long as you kept it subtle, you could probably even sneak off now and again."

"Or I could teach an elective and do the same thing," Xander pointed out.

"I've asked Professor Flitwick and he didn't think the students needed to know how to break the lock charms, Alexander." Xander groaned and rested against his mate. "It really is the best way. Plus, you would be here to make sure that Dawn did not get involved in the fight and that Harry wasn't exploited by anyone." Dawn nodded at that.

"I could teach one in art," Xander offered. Dumbledore looked at him. "I do know something about the subject, having seen much of it in my life. Especially about jewelry. I could even include the magical paintings like we have."

"A single class wouldn't necessitate you staying here all the time," Dumbledore pointed out gently. "I really would prefer that you had to stay here the whole time, Xander. If an attack does happen here, it would probably be while you were gone and couldn't get back."

"That's what apparating and portkeys are for," Xander reminded him. "Once I have Methos replace my charm...." Dumbledore looked back over his shoulder. "Prof?"

"I was going to remind you that I needed to do so," Methos pointed out as he joined them. "You called, Headmaster?"

"Xander is giving me excellent arguments why he shouldn't have to join us for his consort's seventh year."

Methos looked at Xander, then at Draco and then Dawn. "I suppose it would be helpful to have two decent fighters here," he admitted.

"Professor Snape is an excellent fighter," Draco told him.

"I know, but at that time, he could be used. I'd rather count on the people I know won't be under an Imperius or anything." He looked at Dawn again. Then at Xander. "I can put back on the mark easily, Xander. It would still be helpful to have you here," he said gently.

"I can teach an elective and still be here," Xander pointed out. "I hated school, Methos."

He walked the boy away. "Xander, I know this will be hard. I can promise that we will end this fight as soon as possible, thereby giving you the rest of the year off, pending Ministry paperwork problems," he said quietly. "Because of the way your charm was first broken we're not sure it's going to be very strong with you. Tip Top and Emilia were both very worried about you." Xander slumped. "You being here would be for the best. Having you here all the time would help me immensely and you can help me find a way to enhance the charm if it is weak on you."

"They're going to make us Hufflepuffs," Xander said, begging. "I'd rather teach."

"You have less patience than I do, Alexander," he said with a small smile. Xander gave him a begging look. "Consider how much trouble you and your consort could get into without getting into trouble for it," he said more quietly. Xander slumped more, starting to whimper. "Stop that, right this instant. I know that you don't want to be surrounded by the students who are a cross between hippies and pot smokers, but it will only last for a year."

"And the humiliation would last for eternity."

"Hey!" Dawn protested.

"Mine, not his," Draco told her. "Any Malfoy not put into Slytherin or Ravenclaw is immediately put to death."

"Your father's dead," Dawn reminded him.

"Yes, but I do have other relatives."

Dumbledore looked at him. "When was the last time one of your family wasn't in Slytherin?"

"There was a rash of Ravenclaws among Perseus's sons three generations back. His daughter was put into Gryffindor and had to be expelled because he wouldn't kill her. She was killed by an aunt who felt shamed by her in her third year. Before that, there have been six or seven other victims of the family's honor killings." He shifted a bit. "The Ravenclaw ones are accepted because they'll be the ones to do the obvious things, and to up the family fortunes. The others of us are considered to be living off their brains."

Xander looked at him. "I saw what my Hufflepuff relatives went through and I refused to go there the first time. The hat suggested it in joking and I nearly destroyed it then with my logical arguments why I wasn't going to go there, including how many ways I could kill it while I was sitting there. It decided I was devious enough to be in Slytherin."

"Then you had to become a hero so you got resorted?" Dawn asked.

"That too," Xander agreed, grinning at her. "I was the last student expelled by a unanimous vote of their house. Started by a very jealous girlfriend. She decided me sleeping with her boyfriend was enough reason to state that I wasn't one of them. Even though I was grieving and it was normal to seek comfort, plus her boyfriend came to me of his own free will and offered. She decided grief was an un-Slytherin construct that had to be eliminated before it infected more of them."

"He is also why the procedure is no longer allowed without an administrative consent," Snape told her. "They knocked him out after taking the vote and threw him and his things into the hallway. He was found there by the Headmaster at the time and helped up to the office."

"I only had a small head injury," Xander told him.

"Yes, but you were apparently very pitiful," Snape opinioned. "Otherwise he wouldn't have offered you the comfort of his arms either."

"I didn't take him up on it," Xander defended.

"He tried to sleep with you?" Dumbledore asked. Xander nodded. "I never knew that." He looked at the boys. "It would make everyone feel much safer to have you both in Hufflepuff. We could even make sure your room had an external exit." Xander started to whimper again.

"Stop it," Snape snapped. "Holly's staying as well and pretending to be my apprentice."

Draco felt guilt for the first time in his life and mentally winced at the weight of it. All those nice little people who went on to breed more of themselves would die if they didn't do this. They were easy targets for all sorts of horrible things. He had heard his father talking about how he liked to torture them best because of their natures and breaking them was so much more satisfying. He could imagine what would happen to them if some of his father's friends came here to attack. And it would be their fault for not doing this simple, humiliating task. He looked at his mate.

"Draco," Xander sighed.

"My father said that Hufflepuffs were more fun to break because they had farther to fall," he said simply. Xander winced and hugged him closely. "If Philip lives with this sort of guilt, I feel very sorry for him," he said quietly. Methos snorted and shook his head.

"I don't want to live with them. I know I'll end up snapping at them and making someone cry, which of course I'll feel bad about," Xander told him. "I might even strike one without being able to stop myself."

"We'll stay out of your way," Dawn assured them. "It'll be like a long slumber party." She gave them her best version of the puppy eyes. "Please, Xander? We really do need you to protect us and Draco to straighten out the clothes stuff."

"I'll announce it is for security reasons," Dumbledore assured them. "I can move Miss Granger to Ravenclaw for the same reason. They won't need as much protecting."

"You could put us in charge of them and not make us live over there," Draco suggested. "Make us safety guardians or something."

"You guys have no idea what my house does after curfew," Dawn told him. "And I can't tell you around the teachers. Please? We'd love to have you after that first week." She walked over to hug them. "If you come over, I won't feel like I have to protect them all by myself," she begged. "I'll feel safer and protected."

That did Xander in. He couldn't let Dawn down. He groaned and hung his head, nodding. Draco gave her a hug and nodded as well.

Dumbledore smiled. "Thank you, boys. We'll finalize everything after the spring break. It will start next year but I'll announce it at the leaving feast." He walked away, mentally making notes about what he would need to do to pull this off. First would be to send letters home to the parents. Then he'd have to get Philip and a few others back to help around the school. He'd rather have them where he could see them and find out first-hand about the various skirmishes. This would win the war for their side.

***

Greg nervously bounced around the healer's office, looking at all the pictures on the walls. None of them were wizarding pictures but they were very nice landscapes nonetheless. He heard the door open and looked back, giving the doctor a look. "Can we try again?"

"Of course. If you'll get onto the table please?" Emilia slid onto the table and pushed up her shirt to expose her stomach. "Thank you, Mrs. Saunders." He flicked his wand at her stomach, mumbling something. It came out with a split decision. He sighed. "You couldn't hold off?"

"I did!" Emilia said warmly. "I'm pushing the bounds of my sanity right now as a matter of fact."

"Isn't there *any* way to tell for sure?" Greg asked.

"I guess it has to be your sperm seeping through her skin," the healer said thoughtfully.

Emilia looked at Greg. "When did we do that?"

"Not since that night you were teasing me and I came before you were ready," he admitted, blushing a bit. "That's been months though."

"No, with her nature, it's seeped through her body, radiating your carnality through her powers and the like," the healer said tolerantly. He pulled in a machine. "I think this is the only way to tell." He looked at them. "Let me look first, then we'll see if I can tell you anything." They nodded, clutching hands while he spread some cold gel on her stomach and turned on the machine. He rested the wand on her stomach, staring intently at the screen. He pushed a few buttons and then shifted the wand again, repeating it. Then he looked at them and flipped a button.

***

Luna walked into breakfast the next morning tanned, fit, and smiling happily. Her housemates gave her a funny look but that was something she was used to so she didn't really notice anything different. "S'up," she said as she sat down. "How are my homies today?"

One of the seventh years looked at her. "I believe you're using the verb 'sup' in the wrong context," she said gently. "While we are dining, it is not the evening meal, Miss Lovegood."

Luna looked at her and smiled. "It's actually an untraditional, or street lingo, greeting in the United States," she instructed. "Meaning 'what's up' only abbreviated." She smiled sweetly. "So, s'up this morning with my fly women?"

"Are you more mental than usual?" one of the second years asked. Luna shot a look at her and she shrank down. "Sorry, haven't had my morning tea yet," she explained, picking some up quickly to drink.

Luna looked over as Dawn walked in. "Yo, what's up, sweetness?" she called. She noticed the funny looks, but Dawn was grinning at her. "I am the messenger of all happy tidings from your family and all those gringos and gringettes." Dawn came over to accept the letter from her and Luna noticed one of the first years had slipped up to the head table. "So, what's shakin' today, princess? We gonna hit that thing or what?"

"Oh, hell yeah," Dawn agreed with the biggest grin, nearly leering at Ron. "How were the family monsters?"

"Oh, chillin' and cool. You know Spike." Dawn rolled her eyes.

The first year looked back at her housemate, then at the Headmaster. "I believe Miss Lovegood was infected with some sort of odd language curse," she said quietly. "She called us all houses."

"I'm sure she'll be fine soon," Dumbledore assured her with a smile. "Go back to breakfast, my dear." She nodded, going back to her seat. Dumbledore looked down at his Potions master. "I believe you needed to see her anyway, Severus, for some sort of makeup work she was helping Miss Summers with and you are the best at language curses," he said with a faint smile. He wasn't dealing with this.

Professor Snape nodded and stood up. "Miss Lovegood, Miss Summers, please meet me outside the door," he announced, heading that way. They walked out after him, meeting him on the other side of the door. "Miss Summers, Miss Lovegood, this ....slang of yours is distressing some of the younger children," he said quietly. "Please quit before someone wonders why you were calling them a house."

"I called them homies, which means close friends," Luna corrected.

Dawn shook her head. "It was nice to hear normal speech, but he's probably right. You'll give it away, Luna."

"Sorry, we stayed with some friends of Gunn's, some really cool Jamaicans. It's almost second nature to me now." She looked at the Professor. "Did the Headmaster want an account of what we did?"

"Not that he has said, but if you wish to give him one I'm sure he'd find it amusing reading," he told her.

"Good morning, Dawn, Lovegood," Draco said as he walked up to them.

"Someone tipped it over," Luna said with a smirk.

Draco raised an eyebrow and looked to Dawn for a translation. "She means you look like you got some nookie last night," she told him.

Draco still looked confused so he looked at his mentor. "Huh?"

"They think you had sexual relations last night," Snape said patiently.

"Oh." Draco nodded and smirked. "Yes, I did, and it was excellent. Thank you for inquiring." He strolled into the Great Hall, ignoring the dirty looks from the people who hadn't been able to sleep last night. He had slept wonderfully after he had finished. "Morning," he said somewhat smugly.

"Draco," Millicent Bulstrode said, pointing her fork at him, "you kept up the girl's side last night too. Buy a damn gag and learn it's uses."

He chuckled. "I'm sure you'll be fine," he said smugly. "Get used to it." He looked down as Midnight nudged his leg, pulling him up to pet him. "Morning to you as well, young man. Did you have a better night than the fussy things?" Midnight barked and let him scratch his stomach. He saw something off with the dog and decided to fix that as well, making a mental note to find the dog a good Veterinarian later.

"No beasts at the table," Pansy snapped. Draco looked at her. "Yay, put the mutt down or I'm stabbing you myself. You and your heathen consort even kept up the first years last night."

"I enjoyed it," he countered, sneering at her. "If you didn't, then it's not my fault." He put the dog down as Dawn and Luna walked back in, watching as the dog walked over to sit on Dawn's feet, as usual. He loved his mistress and it showed. He dished out some of his food and started to eat.

Pansy stood up and intercepted Professor Snape. "Sir, would you *please* force Malfoy to quit having sex in the house?" she begged. "He kept us up last night. He even kept up the first years and you know they're so far down that it's nearly in another house. Please, make him buy a gag, teach him a silencing charm, teach his mate to tie him down, something?"

Snape gave her an amused look. "What makes you think it was him making noise?"

"Because he was calling his consort's name, Professor Snape. We knew which one was which."

Professor Snape nodded. "Fine, I will have a discussion with him." He looked at Malfoy. "Your noise issues are getting out of hand again," he said as he walked over.

Draco smirked at him. "I enjoyed the hell out of it, sir." He sipped his juice. Goyle took it from his hand and he had to glare at the other boy. "Remember, my consort keeps me from losing my temper and making what happened in the library look like a flirtation with a pretty toy." He saw Goyle swallow and looked at Snape again. "I'm sorry if they were disturbed by the noise. I could have sworn we put on the silencing charm last night."

"I shall make sure that the silencing charm is applied to your door myself," Snape told him, going back to his seat. "Both matters have been solved with simple warnings," he told the Headmaster.

"What was the other?" McGonagall asked him.

"The anti-privacy charms made Mr. Dumass' silencing charm echo last night." She looked stunned, then burst out laughing. "Indeed," he agreed smugly.

"That too shall be fixed next year," Albus noted, cutting his ham into bite-sized pieces. He noticed some of the teachers looking at him. "We are having a meeting tonight just after classes and before dinner. Nothing too serious, just some advanced planning." He ate a bite of ham and watched the students interact.

***

Greg walked into work the next night and everyone stared at him, looking very expectant. "What?" he asked. "I changed into real clothes, they're not an illusion," he pointed out. He didn't want to remember that night. No laundry at home, nothing in his locker, and they had all gotten hosed by some vile, oily substance. The illusion had gone well but two of his coworkers could see through them. Brass and Nick had not been amused in the least.

"Well?" Catherine asked impatiently. "Is she?"

Greg sat down and gave her a pitiful look.

***

The Headmaster looked across his student body. It was the traditional leaving feast and once again Gryffindor had won the house cup. The last few months had been quite hectic, making sure everything was ready for the leaving tomorrow, and for the next year to begin. He had impressed his teachers with his need to follow this course of action and they had rallied themselves behind his stubborn nature. Everything was set, now all he had to do was to announce it. He stood up and smiled, waving for attention. The students quieted and looked at him. "Another year comes to an end and some of our alumni are now going into the world," he said calmly. "I congratulate all of you who came this far and have excelled against all obstacles." He took a calming breath. "For those of you leaving, and those of you staying, the biggest obstacle is yet to come, but we believe it too will be solved soon." The students started to babble and he held up a hand. "I assure you, the school is a sacred place and will stay safe, especially since I am doing some things in an extraordinary way next year. Next year, we will have some people who have been fighting for a very long time looking over the security of each house, in addition to the usual Heads of your houses," he told them. He smiled. "As such, Mr.'s Potter and Weasley will look over Gryffindor's security and will report to me any unusual circumstances. Miss Granger will be overlooking Ravenclaw's safety. She may or may not move to that tower as suits her will." The Ravenclaws stared at him in shock. "I felt that she would most fit in with your house and she is very knowledgeable about protection and security issues." He looked at the other two. "The only hard choice was over Hufflepuff and Slytherin. The person who would normally lead Slytherin's defenses is one that I have need of elsewhere at this time. Though he had fought it very hard, it is my decision that Mr. Zabini will lead Slytherin's defenses next year while the usual leader, Mr. Malfoy-Dumass and his consort, will be heading the security over Hufflepuff." He held up a hand at the outraged noises.

"I know this is an uncomfortable decision on my part. The participants had been warned in advance. Mr. Malfoy-Dumass is one of our best in Defense and in protection. Between he and his consort they can easily protect the least defensive of our houses." He smiled at Hufflepuff's table. "I know you do not wish to hear this from me, but your gentle and sweet natures make you a prime target for harassment, as some of you have seen from your fellow schoolmates. Mr. Malfoy-Dumass' consort will protect you from that even as he helps protect the rest of the school." His smile widened some. "Also, this will cure some of Mr. Malfoy-Dumass' outbursts of power that we've seen over the last year. They have vowed to me to protect your house and your selves to the best of their ability, even against their own house if necessary. They fought long and hard to take over Slytherin, but their abilities are better suited to be with your house. You will find Mr. Dumass had relatives in your house and he does understand you. As such, we will be giving them a separate room in your tower so you may call on them for whatever you need and they are close at hand if an emergency occurs." He looked at the Slytherin table. "This also means that Miss Summers will not be the one fighting you if more shenanigans happen next year." They shuddered. "As I said, they have fought long and hard, but I have given the best people I could to each house in case we need them. With all luck, this will only last a year as everyone who is taking over these duties is graduating next year." He smiled and sat down to watch the reactions.

Pansy looked at Draco. "What did you get out of this?" she asked coldly.

"My consort being here full-time, unlimited sex with him, free run to fix the fashion problems in Hufflepuff, and a move up in the Head Boy competition," he said calmly. "We've been arguing for months, since that small attack."

"Hmph. Dumbledore must really be desperate," Blaize Zabini pointed out. He studied Draco. "I'll need to know where everything is. Will you have time tonight or should I pull you back the first of next year?"

"No," Pansy said firmly. "He'll be leaving the house to go to Hufflepuff. He'll be one of them and no longer allowed in our hallowed house. We do not allow Hufflepuffs in there."

Draco sneered at her. "Just because I may reside over there does not mean I shall become one of them," he retorted. "I am still myself, only now I'll have a second kingdom of my own to fix." She looked stunned, apparently she hadn't thought of that. "Even if my clothes change, I am still a Slytherin, the same as my consort is, even though he was kicked out for finding comfort after his family died and resorted as a Gryff. This changes nothing else, Parkinson." He looked at Blaize. "I am packed, I can show you all the hidden shortcuts, but Gregory is also learning that skill. You should lean on him for some of that as well, it would help his training." Zabini nodded at the wisdom of that. He looked at Pansy and Millicent again, sneering at them. "Not only will I and my consort have our own room, plus free access to Hufflepuff, but we'll also have free roam of the castle. He'll be attending next year as well as a precaution." They glared at him, envy shining from their faces. He touched his necklace, his last present from his mate. "I intend to take next year to learn quite a lot that I hadn't had access to before. Plus be spoiled by my consort."

"You absolute dog," Pansy said in disgust. "You going over there makes you treated special. Why can't they punish you like they should?"

He smirked. "Why would they? What could they punish me for? Doing what's in my nature?" She shivered and shrunk down a bit. "Remember, Parkinson, I am still myself, no matter how nice I may be to my consort. You aren't him." He pulled some food over, dishing it up. "Eat, now. Most of you still have to pack," he ordered.

Crabbe looked at him. "What about us, Draco?"

"You'll probably be allowed in our room," Draco assured him. "I'm not forgetting my friends. My consort says he approves of you and Gregory so do not worry." Crabbe smiled. He leaned over. "Besides, he is stronger. I want you to help Blaize." Crabbe nodded. "Excellent." He handed off the next dish to him. A single owl flew in and landed on the table, holding out a lavish looking present. "Well," he said happily, taking it. "Thank you." It hooted and flew off.

"What did he send you now?" Pansy asked bitterly.

"I don't know, I haven't opened it yet," Draco said patiently. He opened the present and smiled, showing off the tanzanite statuette. A pretty blue dragon with a knight riding it.

"No fair," Millicent pouted. "You're getting spoiled rotten by him. Even if we had boyfriends they wouldn't do that to us."

"That's the beauty of an older spouse," Draco said smugly, taking it out to look at it. Underneath was a simple note, 'It reminded me of us.' He put it in front of his plate and continued to look at it throughout dinner. It salved the open wound of being resorted.

***

Xander walked onto the train and found the Prefects easily enough. "Granger," he said, motioning her back. "Come on, I've got the plans for the train ride up and back in the fall." She looked interested, following him, but playing with something in her pocket. As soon as they had found a compartment, more people joined them. "And these people are?"

"Harry's group, DA," Hermione told him. "Who made the plans?"

"Professor Methos and I," he told her. "Okay." He did a quick head count. Fifteen kids was good enough. "This is even better than I thought. Is each house represented?"

"Not Slytherin," Ginny told him.

"That's fine, I'll give the orders to Zabini and my consort after this." He unrolled a plan. "This is a battle plan for those who haven't seen one before. Those of you in each house, pick one person to lead your house if there's a battle. I want them covering while the rest of you get the remaining students out of the way. The floo at the station is an emergency use only, it doesn't require floo powder to travel." He pulled out slips of paper and handed them over. "That is the floo address to the Department of Mysteries. It is one of the hardest places to get into in the Ministry and it'll keep the main floo lines open for anyone who wants or needs to use it for travel to the battle. Even if the Ministry itself is under attack, that is the safest place and they can evacuate the students to an emergency meeting place." Everyone nodded. "Good." He pointed at five of the students. "I want you five to be the last through. Pick up any stragglers. Pick up the crying first years, especially if this is on the way up." They nodded. He pointed at another three. "You three man the floo. Hermione, you set it, you guard until everyone is going. Then I want you to guard Ginny and Luna while they remove Dawn back to my house. Dawn either goes first or last, or she flooes from the Ministry. You don't reset it once it's set, you just shove people through. Got it?" They all nodded. "Good." He rolled the plan back up. "The rest of you, help hunt and round up the students while providing cover. I know my great-nephew has hopefully taught you a lot, I'll be teaching more next year from the more ancient defense texts. Things that you'll be able to use easier." He looked at Luna. "You, I want you to use your wand, not the other sort. Using wandless will wear you out faster and we'll need your heft." Luna nodded. "Hermione, you, Ginny, and Luna are to protect Dawn at all costs. She is a powerful witch and therefor a secondary target once she's noticed."

"Why is she so strong?" one of the males in the back asked.

"Dawn grew up on the Hellmouth. Hellmouths are a mish-mosh of energy, mostly chaotic. Anyone who stays there for more than a few weeks get a bit tainted by it and most of them have trouble doing anything. Since Dawn was born and raised there, her powers increased because it's natural for her to be that way. She is a very strong witch and she'll want to help, but I do not want her fighting because as soon as anyone sees how powerful she is, they'll try to take her."

"Which would be really bad," Ginny agreed. "We'll protect her. What about your consort?"

"Draco will be guarding your backs as you leave and he'll be making sure the Slytherins are going as well. I know we won't get all of them to go and some of them may end up on the wrong side of the battle, but I trust each of you to be able to handle defensive and emergency procedures. Got it?" They nodded. "Good, dismissed." They filed out.

Neville Longbottom hung back. "Will this really be necessary?" he asked quietly.

"I hope not, Neville. He tried it the first war and didn't win, but he's been following his old plans. These plans are in place for each train ride until you graduate, and if the war's still going on, I'll be picking new people next year to take your places." He nodded. "I really hope we're overreacting but the irrational bastard had put out feelers about an attack. We don't know if there are real plans, if this is a feint, or what. But I will be prepared and I will not lose any students." He nodded, looking relieved. "Go back and get cuddles. You could probably use them."

Neville blushed. "That would require someone to cuddle," he mumbled as he left.

Xander grinned at the boy's back, then went to find his consort and Zabini. He found them huddled together, taking over the house's defense. "That's easy. There's a back way out of the school through the tapestry in the second year girls' bathroom," he told them. They looked at him, Draco smiling and touching something in his pocket. "You evacuate through it. The password was reset last night to Fortuitous Blunder. Only you two and Severus know it. That way people can get out but not in." They nodded, looking happier about that. He walked closer. "I've got the battle plans for a battle at the station. If it happens, Zabini, I want you to gather the students. The floo at the station is an emergency one and doesn't require powder to use. Use this address," he said, pulling another copy of the address out and handing it to them. "That goes to the Department of Mysteries and is the biggest pain to get into, even if they're under attack themselves." Zabini nodded. "Good boy. Draco, I'm afraid I'll need you guarding the exit and making sure Dawn and her three guardians go, even if you have to shove Granger through it yourself after Dawn is gone. Those three are to stay with Dawn and you can catch up. If we have to evac from the station, she either goes first, goes last, or goes with everyone and then leaves for the house from there. That option is fine. Don't reset the floo unless it's necessary, it wastes time."

"Yes, Xander." He gave him a hug. "I'll help you protect Dawn and follow after her guardians." He relaxed. "Dawn will be my priority, even in front of you." He looked up, slightly, and grinned. "Good enough?"

"Excellent." He stole a kiss.

"What happens if they attack us after the train is moving?" Zabini asked.

Xander sighed, wrapping his arms around Draco. "Then we may simply be screwed. The simplest means of taking out the train is either to blow a bridge under us, or to use an exploding charm to derail it. At which time, the cars will also go off the tracks and probably tip over, which will probably hurt or kill a great many students." Zabini swallowed. "If that happens, you evacuate all you can and let the Ministry know. If you know how to apparate, get everyone moving. Those that have portkeys should use them at that point. If you have to, do a quick and informal 'focus on the Leaky and say 'Apparatum' lesson."

"We were taught the newer one," Draco pointed out.

"Yeah, but that one needs more focus. It's safer, but even if you're splinched you won't die immediately. Your body is basically put into a semi-static state so you don't die from the blood loss or loss of important organs while some of you is elsewhere. I don't know if the killing curse will work while you're splinched but it's better than nothing. The Apparatum charm takes less focus and is easier to use when you're panicking. Also, you can move more than one person if you have to and sometimes, if you're strong enough and focused enough, you can use it like a banishing spell to move someone else once or twice." He looked at Zabini again. "If we're attacked while the train is moving, get everyone to the Leaky. Most of them can floo home from there, Tom can get the aurors and help as quickly as necessary, and the alley has multiple escape hatches as well. Though, that is very good thinking and you deserve points. Remind me next year when we're supposedly going to be head boys together."

"I thought you only moved up in the standings," Blaize said archly.

Draco shrugged. "Dumbledore promised us but there's always the chance that he'll forget. If he does, expect to hear me ranting on the way up." He grinned. "Of course, I'm sure Xander will calm me down."

"I had better if we're going to be moving in things that night," Xander pointed out. "I've seen our room. It's a nice size with older furniture."

"What are you moving in?" Zabini asked.

"My desk. A bookcase. A special wardrobe that I found at an auction years ago," he said smugly.

"You bought that?" Draco asked. "My father used to whine about losing to you; he whined for years about that."

"It's better it goes to me than to someone like him anyway," Xander reminded him smugly. "Any news from your family?"

"I owled them all about the upcoming switch and why. My mother said she understood and I was safe from her. One of my uncles was not pleased but he expected me to rule the house with an iron first and to fix them so they were normal wizards. The one aunt I haven't heard from yet probably will try to kill me but I'm sure we'll be fine." He grinned. "Don't worry if you have to kill her, I won't miss the old bat."

Xander chuckled. "I'll only hurt them in your defense," he promised. He stole another kiss. "Buffy's coming back this summer. That way we don't have to live in the oppressive sweltering that is summer in LA."

"How bad does it get?" Zabini asked.

"Well over a hundred, plus humidity," Xander told him. "With very bright sun."

"I'd burn simply looking out the window," Draco told him. "Last summer was cool and it was like how I imagined Hell to be. We could only work at night because of the heat."

"You should try the desert. It was ninety when I went to work that dig," Xander told him. "Be thankful we're not going to Texas."

"Oh, I am," Draco assured him. "Or Mexico. We went there once when I was five. I still remember getting so badly burned I had to live in the bathtub for five weeks." Zabini looked impressed. "The heat was so impressive I remember it more than anything except the sun poisoning I took." He looked at his mate. "Should we commandeer this carriage for our own use?"

"Sure," Xander agreed with a leer. "Because when we get home, Des is going to bitch at us for not having kids yet. Again."

"She needs to find another topic of discussion," Draco noted, looking at Zabini. "Out," he said patiently.

"This one is mine," he protested, smirking at them. "Go sit with Hufflepuff."

"They're having their own leaving feast," Xander told him.

"Food?" Zabini asked, sounding hopeful.

"Not unless they're using it as sex toys. Which you can do but I doubt they've gotten that far yet."

"Okay then, I think I'll go sit with the Prefects. Please leave my trunk and owl alone," he said as he walked past them, shutting the door behind himself. Then he reopened it and pulled the shade before closing it again. He heard the lock engage and shook his head. Those two were like bunnies or some over-sexed magical creatures during rutting season. He went to check on the other Prefects, nodding at them. "Did he give you the instructions, Granger?"

"He did," she said calmly. "You?" He sat across from her and nodded. "What are they doing now?"

"Rutting in my compartment. They said they didn't want to break in on the Hufflepuff goodbye." She looked confused and he shrugged. "Malfoy's consort said they were having some sort of orgy."

"Eww." She shuddered. "That is sickening."

"With the way those two go at it, they'll be welcome in Hufflepuff," he told her. "They've actually kept up the first three years and their rooms are intentionally put farther down in the house so the uppers can't harass them."

"Really?" He nodded. "That's interesting. Ours are up and down the hall on a single floor."

"Our uppers have a different staircase. The lower three years all have their own section so they can feel safer against the bigger bullies. It keeps initiation rituals down to a minimum." He got comfortable. "Do you know Ravenclaw's exit strategy yet?"

She nodded. "Definitely. They've got a special floating platform. Yours?"

"A special portal to the outside," he told her. "I hadn't known."

"I hadn't either. I wonder what Gryffindor has."

"I'm sure Potter and Weasley will find it and tell you," he promised smugly. She frowned at him. "Not in with them as tightly?"

"I am, but I believe we're keeping the location secret from each other, just in case."

"A good idea, one worthy of my house."

"No, that's more from a lot of experience," she told him. "These things never go the way you plan."

"I heard your last real battle didn't go as planned," he noted. "Though, did we ever hear if Black did die?"

She nodded. "He passed through the veil." Harry walked in and she shut up.

He gave her a hug. "No he didn't. There was an interference. I got a letter from Cordy. He's staying in LA to help them since the Ministry doesn't have any power over there," he whispered in her ear. He sat down next to her. "How's your strategy going?"

"We've got an exit point. You?" He nodded. "How? Generally of course."

"Hidden walkway behind the fireplace and the stairs. They both come out outside. You?"

"Floating platform," she told him.

"Exit through a tapestry," Blaize told him.

Harry nodded, looking content with that. "Hufflepuff's got a hidden exit through the floor from what Xander mentioned. He found it with Dawn last night." He nudged Hermione gently with his shoulder. "You called DA together?"

"Exit plans for an attack on the station." She looked at Blaize. "Did you ask about what would happen if the train was moving?"

"Dumass thinks that it'd be a bit more bloody due to the train derailing or falling off a bridge," Blaize told her. "We're to take any survivors back to the Leaky by apparation or portkey. Leave anyone unable to move so the rest can get help and bring it back." She didn't look happy but nodded. "If we're under fire, we won't have time to gather each and every student, check them over, and then take them. He suggested the Apparatum charm. We won't get fined or shouted at for apparating under those circumstances."

"That would be more sensible," Hermione agreed. "It takes less focus according to the books and most of us know what the Leaky looks like or even just focusing on Tom. Plus we could take others."

"We've got to learn how to make portkeys," Harry reminded her.

"I've got the book in my trunk and I'll send you a scroll with the process later this week," she promised.

"Thanks, Hermione." He grinned at her. "Where are you traveling to this summer?"

"We're staying in town. I told my parents I needed to stay closer in case something happened. They agreed after writing me a stern letter about being careful and complaining that I hadn't told them anything."

"Molly said we could come over the last few weeks as usual," he told her. "Or the whole family could come and stay with Xander and I."

"And Draco," Blaize put in.

"Anymore, it's like there's only one of them in two bodies," Harry pointed out. "Where is my uncle?"

"Having sex in my compartment," Blaize told him. "Ron?"

"Having sex in his compartment."

Blaize snorted. "Maybe the Dumass' matriarch won't have to lecture you guys about having children after all."

"No, she'll do it anyway," Harry told him. "That's why she sent Holly to Snape." Blaize's mouth fell open. "Apparently the Dumass and the Snape families are flip-sides of the same coin. She's going to try and force your head of house to mate with her sometime soon."

"I'm all for careful bloodline management, but that's ridiculous," Blaize pointed out. Harry nodded. "Has she picked out someone for you?"

"No, she only nags me and suggests various ways to have Xander produce an heir. She knows I won't even think about it until after the war is over with."

"There are many pretty younger daughters among your new friends," Hermione pointed out.

"Yes," Harry sighed, "but they're like my extended family now and I'd hate to think about that." He suddenly blushed. "Besides, when we shared memories, I picked up some of the memories of how they came to be."

"You shared memories?" Hermione asked.

"Oops." He pulled his wand. "Sorry, Blaize, Hermione."

"No, that's all right. I'm sure it was the rules and stuff," Blaize said quickly. "I don't know anyone in your little group."

Xander strolled in and kissed Harry on the top of the head. "You shouldn't have told, but they don't know anything else." He subtly slipped him something then looked at Hermione. "Did you want to ask to join?"

She shook her head. "Not really, no."

Harry pushed the button as soon as Xander had left, letting the orb go off. It erased the last ten minutes and any information on that subject from their minds. He felt a nudge against his mind and threw up his shields but the person on the other side forced their way in and gave him back what he had lost. That's why he clutched his forehead and groaned.

"Already?" Hermione asked.

"No," Harry ground out. "Legimancy headache." He looked over at her. "Snape, testing me."

She opened her carry-on and pulled out a small carpet bag, looking inside until she found a bottle marked 'headache medicine.' "Here, Harry."

"Thanks, Hermione." He drank it quickly and listened while he was chewed out, accepting his headache and his punishment from Methos. He did deserve it.

***

Xander walked everyone into the house with their trunks and the weekly shopping. "We're back," he called. He surrendered the bags to the house elves, watching as they carried them off.

Grandma Des walked out of the Dark Arts study. "Good, go work in the garden. Sandburg planted something in my garden for defensive purposes but I can't identify it and it's ugly. The poor deluded boy thinks we needed it."

"You have chores?" Draco asked his consort, looking amused.

"No. And I don't get on well with gardens anyway," Xander told him. He looked at his grandmother. "Ugly or not he was trying to help. Besides, we just got back. We'll identify it later."

"Now, Alexander."

"Grandmother, consort, just barely home, I had other plans," he pointed out gently.

"Now, Alexander."

"Fine, I'll go have sex with Draco in the garden then," he told her, walking that way. "I do not uproot defensive plants, no matter how ugly they are. Put a pretty bush around them. Maybe you can help Dawn in Herbology while you're at it."

Dawn chuckled. "Forgive him, he only got some once on the train," she told her with a bright grin. "I can help you plant a few bushes if you want. I really could use the help in Herbology. I feel like I'm letting the house down by not being great in there."

Des pulled her closer for a hug. "I'll help you with that, Dawn. Alex could probably look at the plants and kill them. He gets it from his mother." She led the girl into the study, where Blair was sitting. "Go remove that plant from my garden," she told him.

He grinned at her. "Nope. It'll keep Xander and Draco from having sex in the garden."

Des laughed at that. That was a use she could stand. "I'll leave it there then. What is it?"

"Devil's Snare, an older plant of it. I'll be adding some other defensive plants as well between the flowers and around the edge of the beds, but I'll try for prettier."

"Thank you, Blair." The poor boy had been run out of his village for protecting them so she had let him and his family stay with them, she could be patient with the boy for a bit longer. "Would you like to help him, Dawn, or me?"

"Either's fine. I know Buffy's coming up in a few weeks for a visit, if that's okay. Xander said it was."

"We don't mind that one at all," Des assured her, giving her a hug. "We mind the broody, dark one, but we don't mind your sister, dear." She led her into the kitchen, where she and Simon had been cooking together. "Do you have anything for the starved darling? The food on the train is pretty thin and usually just treats."

"Of course." He smiled at her. "Hello, Dawn, I'm Simon. I'm Blair's significant other." She gave him a hug. "Thank you." He gave her a pat on the back. "Where are the other boys?"

Dawn pulled back. "Ron had to go home. Harry went for a nap. Xander and Draco are having sex in the garden," she reported. He grimaced. "I'm sure they told your son not to watch."

He laughed. "That's not a problem. Daryl's at school for another week. I'm more worried about sunburn."

"Xander tops," Des told him with a negligent shrug.

"Besides, it'll give them a chance to baby each other," Dawn saith a grin. She took the sandwich the nice, tall, handsome African American man gave her. "Thank you, Simon." She sat down at the table to eat. "What happened? Are we having another meeting?"

"No, the town we were in decided we were the cause of the attacks so they politely asked us to leave," Simon told her. He looked down the hallway. "Are we going to have to move Jim into our room?"

"Heavens no," Des told him, giving him a pat on the arm. "We have a whole wing we don't use."

"Where?" Dawn asked. "Xander said he only had one side of the house put up."

Des winked. "We'll be fixing that tonight. We'll probably need the space sometime soon." She heard a bellow and looked outside. "Well, Blair's ugly plant did what it said. It just stabbed Alex in the rear to make him quit having sex in the garden." Dawn snorted her milk, making her cough. "Sorry, precious, calm down. Remember that for when your young man comes over. That's what the gazebo is for." Dawn nodded, looking very serious.

Simon shook his head. "Your family is insane. That didn't stop Xander at all."

"No, nothing stops his champion stud libido. I wish he would use it for the natural processes as well as dinking his consort but that's life I suppose."

Someone Dawn hadn't seen yet walked into the kitchen. "Hi. Which one are you again?"

"Hello, Dawn. I am Melanorma. It's a family name," she shared with a small smile. She walked outside. "Alex! You're giving me nightmares with your puny dick and your inability to keep the world from knowing how bad you use it. If you can't have sex like everyone else and leave them unconscious, you won't get it from practice. So please stop it!" She walked in and slammed the door. "Puny asshole." Her grandmother patted her on the back. "He is."

Xander flung open the door and grabbed his sister to pummel. "You take that back! He demanded. "I am a very good lover, as shown by half the world having been satisfied by me." She fought him back but he was bigger.

"Kids," Simon said patiently. "Xander, you're leaving your lover to lounge in the sun without you."

Xander looked up, flipping some of his hair back over his shoulder. "He told me to come defend my honor against the virgin whore." He let her up and kicked her in the leg. "Nasty snort faced pig." He went back to his consort, soothing him from the insults his little sister had given them.

Dawn looked at her. "At least you two love each other."

Mel shook her head. "I've always hated Alex. He's a glory hog and he refused to play dollies with me when we were little."

"He was four years older than you," Des reminded her. "Get over it already, Mel." She sighed and stomped off. "Sorry you had to see that, she's having a bad reincarnation." She looked outside. "Alexander!" He lifted his head. "Do not insult your sister that way, I'll tell your father."

"She's the one who went after every virgin to try and prove me up. I didn't go looking for them, they came for me," he retorted, using his wand to slam the door again. "There, finally alone again," he said with a leer.

"Which one was that?"

"Mellie, my younger sister by four years. She's usually not such a bitch, she must think I'm capable of sharing you." He stole a kiss. "Should we go sit by the pond?"

"We have a pond?"

"I never showed you the gazebo and the pond?" He pulled his consort up and grabbed their clothes, leading him that way. They didn't have any neighbors, they could walk around naked if he felt like it. Something finally dawned on him and he looked back at the house. "She wasn't alive before."

Draco patted him on the arm. "I'm sure your grandmother was doing her best to repopulate the family," he soothed. Xander nodded and continued to lead him to the nice wooden gazebo, one which had padded benches. Very sturdy and wide padded benches. It also had a marvelous view of the west, so they could watch the sunset after they were done.

***

George accepted the scroll his mother gave him when she came out of the fireplace with a smile. "The family tree?" She nodded. "Thanks, mum. Did it update itself yet to have new spaces?"

"It did," she told him, watching as he walked it back to the counter to look at it. It was after hours at the store and they were still wondering about whether it was twins or not. She smiled as he unrolled it and froze. "You didn't expect it?"

"No, not in the least," he told her. He looked at her. "This is one hundred percent sure?"

"It always has been," she told him. "It updates at the end of the first trimester, after the risk of miscarriage falls." She looked at the two spots, one in red, one in green. "Hmm." She smiled at him again. "Are you excited?"

"Well, this definitely means more shopping and that's never made me happy, but I'm definitely starting to like thoughts of being a father." He grinned at her. "Fred is presently spoiling her rotten by taking her out to dinner." He looked at the scroll again. "Mum, where's Ginny's name?" She sighed and he stared at her. "Is she all right?"

"No, son, she's fine. She's presently napping on the couch." She leaned on the counter. "A long time ago, we had a delivery on our doorstep, the same way Harry's relatives did. We were never sure who the parents were, but we did take her in as ours."

"That's why the Ministry didn't need you to fill out more paperwork?" She nodded. "Does she know this?"

"No, son, she doesn't. I've never told her." She patted his hand. "We weren't going to either, unless it becomes a necessity." He nodded, understanding how that would destroy his baby sister. "Most Weasleys are incapable of bearing girls. There's only seven on that scroll to date. Weasley women are very rare. As a matter of fact, the last family meeting I called, before the baby incident, was to inform them of Ginny's presence. She looks enough like us but she's not one of ours naturally."

"And we never found out who?"

She shook her head again. "I never really looked, son. Ginny is our daughter. Someone wanted her to be our daughter and we've loved her ever since she came to us as an infant." She stood up. "If you need help with names, I think Ron had a few that he wanted to spread around."

George snorted. "If he's not careful, he'll need them himself," he pointed out. He rolled up the scroll and checked his attire. "I'm going to bring this to Fred. Thanks, mum." He kissed her on the cheek.

"Don't tell him, George, he'll give it away. You were always better at keeping secrets." She gave him a pat on the hand. "If you need any help, let me know." He nodded and she left.

He considered it but it didn't really phase the way he saw Ginny. She was theirs by raising if nothing else. He walked out, making sure to lock the door and set the alarm before heading to the restaurant where his twin and their wife were eating. He smiled at the hostess, who looked a bit confused. "I'm the other one," he told her as he walked past her. He could hear Fred talking about giving their tots flying lessons. "That'll get tiring if they fly off in different directions," he said as he walked up to them. Fred frowned at him and George held up the scroll. "The family tree."

Tip Top snatched it to look at it. "Oh, shit, two slots," she said. Fred stood up to look at it, then noticed the different colors. She looked at her boys, then smiled a watery smile. "Thank you, George."

He gave her a hug and a kiss. "You're welcome, love. Remember, I get you when you come home."

"George, why isn't Ginny on here?" Fred asked.

"I'll tell you some other time," George promised. "It's a longer and interesting story. Mum just shared it with me." He patted his twin on the head. "She said Ron's got some names and offered to help us shop for more stuff." Fred looked at his twin. "Apparently Weasley women are rare beasts," he told him, leaving to give them their time alone. He went to get a sundae for dinner while he thought and made plans of his own.

"Rare beasts, what does that mean?" Fred muttered as he looked at the scroll. "There only seven girls slots on here," he told her. "And someone in the past had a hard time with names."

She laughed and took it to roll up and put into her purse. "We'll figure out names later. We've still got to make plans for Emilia's shower."

"If she's pregnant."

Tip Top gave him a look. "I'm pretty sure she is. She was a little unhappy with food the last time I saw her."

Fred leaned across the table and gave her a kiss. "Then we'll do wonderful stuff while we plan on how to thwart those who would want one of our beloved children and hers to get together."

Tip Top thought about that. "That would be one explosive relationship."

"Hmm. Indeed," he agreed, smirking at her. He suddenly had the naughtiest thought and reached under the long tablecloth to play with her leg. She swatted at his hand but he grinned and continued. "I think we should celebrate this announcement."

"Please, not in the Xander and Draco way," she pleaded. "Not in public."

"I'd never do that to you, Tipsy," he vowed. "I don't want anyone to be able to admire what we get to see nightly." She laughed and his hand shifted up, making her voice go up suddenly. "Ask for a box, love."

"Waiter," she called quietly, holding up a hand to flag one down.

***

"We've got to tell her, Arthur," Molly said quietly.

Ginny walked into the kitchen, having been listening. "Tell me what, mum?"

Arthur shrugged and shook his head. Molly gave him a look and he eventually nodded. So Molly called in the spare copy of the family's tree. "Dear, sit." Ginny did so, looking attentive. She unrolled it in front of her daughter. "Do you notice anything?"

Ginny found the current family easily enough, they were the widest part in a few generations. "Mum, I'm not on here," she told her. She looked up. "Are you disowning me?"

Molly sat next to her, giving her a hug. "No, dear, we're not disowning you. You're on the official, larger family tree. This is the birth tree." Ginny still looked confused.

"Dear, you...." Arthur slumped a bit more. "You were a wonderful surprise, Ginny, and we feel as if you are truly ours. Even if we never gave birth to you."

"I'm a foundling?" she asked, shocked to the core. Molly nodded. "But... but my hair and all that stuff!"

"I know, dear, and I'm not sure how, but you're very like us. We've never tried to look for your birth family. You've been ours since we found you on our doorstep in that little wicker basket." She touched her daughter's flushed cheek gently. "As far as we're concerned, you are our daughter. You were born while the older ones were at school so they never noticed. Percy was too young to remember you as anything other than his little sister."

"Weasleys have never really had a lot of daughters," Arthur told her. "It's very rare we have one in a generation. It had been three before you were given to us and we were more than happy to have you."

"That's what the auror meant by you having paperwork on file at the Ministry," Ron said from the doorway. Molly looked at him and nodded. He shrugged. "Okay. Shit, she was raised one of us, she might as well be one of us," he told her. His mother soaped his mouth for him and he ran for the sink.

"Your mother and I feel the same way," Arthur assured her. "We've wanted you since we saw you, Ginny. There was never any choice but to keep you. Your mother and I never even considered giving you up to the authorities."

Ginny still looked shocked. "Did you keep anything from the basket?"

"We kept the whole thing," Arthur promised.

"Why wait this long?" Ron asked now that his mouth was clear.

"Because we weren't going to tell her at all but George got tired of waiting on test results and asked to see the family tree earlier. He noticed it and we'd rather she heard it from us," Molly told him.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Ginny noted, hurrying to the bathroom.

"Leave her, mum," Ron advised quietly. "Ginny likes to think on things. Then she'll come in and yell or ask more questions. She does it at school all the time." She looked so sad so he gave her a hug. "It's all right. None of us will give a damn. We changed too many of her nappies for that." He walked away before his mother could soap his mouth again.

Molly frowned at his back. "I will stop that problem of his yet."

Arthur chuckled. "It proves we raised him right, Molly. Even if he did sound vulgar and under-educated." He patted her on the hand. "She'll probably want someone else to talk to, some sort of sounding board, first."

"If she wants, she can have a few friends over tonight," Molly agreed calmly. She stood up and went to tell her daughter that, helping by holding her hair out of the way while she got sick. "It's all right, Ginny. Ron said you were one of us. The older ones won't see you any differently. If they do, we'll smite them quickly." She grabbed a washcloth and wet it, handing it to her daughter. "You can call a few of your friends over if you want."

"Yeah, I might," Ginny told her. She looked up. "Or could I go visit Luna? So I could go think without having to listen to you and Ron fighting about his clothes obsessions?"

Molly chuckled, dropping a kiss onto the top of her head. "Go ahead. Brush your teeth first." Ginny nodded, accepting the help up and to the sink. "We're here whenever you want to talk to us or ask us questions."

"Thanks, mum. I'm sure I'll have plenty of them once I'm not in shock."

"I'd be shocked too. Being adopted by those loony brothers of yours as some sort of mascot," she teased, pinching her on the cheek. Ginny nodded and Molly left her alone, going back down to talk to her youngest son to make sure he wouldn't tell anyone else until Ginny was ready. She found the simple wicker basket sitting on the table and looked at her husband. "Is the letter in there?" He nodded. "Thank you, Arthur." Ginny walked down the stairs. "Your father thought you might like to look at the things that came with you," she said calmly.

Ginny nodded and took it with her to Luna's house. Luna's father looked over from his desk. "Hi. I need Luna really badly. I need common sense and a friend."

"Of course. Which one are you again, young lady?" He stood up and steered her to a couch. "What a pretty basket."

Ginny looked at him. "I just found out I came in it," she told him.

"Ah." He smiled at her. "Give me a moment to find her, young lady." He went to find his daughter, who was reading in her room. "Luna, one of your friends is downstairs holding the basket she came in."

"I thought you said the stork didn't deliver us, father." He didn't answer so Luna put down the book to look at him. "Which friend?"

"Young, red hair, pretty face. Fairly shocked. She said she needed some common sense and a friend."

"That sounds like Ginny," she said, putting on her slippers so she could find her. She found Ginny in the spot her father had left her. "Ginny?" Ginny jumped at the sound of her voice and started to cry. "Shh, none of that," she soothed, helping her friend back up to her room, basket and all. "What's going on?" she asked once they were in her room.

"I was left on my parent's doorstep," Ginny cried. "They told me tonight so the twins couldn't." She handed over the basket. "I came in that."

"Well, they obviously wanted you enough to keep you," Luna told her. "Otherwise you wouldn't be a Weasley." Ginny looked at her, looking sure that she had all the answers. "Come on, cuddle up with me and we'll chat," she promised, settling Ginny in beside her to hold her while she cried. Men wouldn't understand this and her stallions could wait on her. She used her wand to send a message on the system they had worked out. 'Ginny crying, needs me, be over later.'

***

Fred joined his twin in the kitchen on their midnight raid of the fridge. "So?" he asked.

"Ginny was found on the doorstep and I wasn't supposed to tell you," George told him, handing him the bologna.

"Hmm. Interesting." Fred handed back the mustard so his twin could use it. "She doesn't know?"

"No." They switched cheeses to use both sorts.

"Mum still thinks I can't keep a secret?"

"Not at all," George agreed with a grin for him. He handed over the sandwich he had made for their mate. For some reason, he knew what she was craving before she did.

Fred got her some juice because he knew she'd be thirsty. "I assume mum and dad told her by now. That way we couldn't let it slip to her. Poor thing, we'll have to prove to her that she's a real Weasley."

"What an excellent idea," George agreed with a smirk. "However shall we do that?"

"By making her life miserable in the finest Weasley fashion of course," Fred retorted. "Just like we did to Ron."

***

"Maybe she's a lost princess," Luna offered as she led Hermione down to the Hall of Records in the Ministry's older building. "Hello," she said brightly. "I'm researching a potential match for my brother. This is all we have on her birth," she said, handing over the letter and the blanket with the initials on it. They had found that last night when she and Ginny had examined everything.

"I doubt they'd put a princess on her parent's doorstep," Hermione pointed out. The records keeper looked at her. "We know she was adopted."

"You'd best try the second door on the left," the keeper said, handing Luna everything back. "All the adoption records are in there and they're required to have parental information."

"Even if the adopting parents didn't know?" Hermione asked. The keeper nodded. "Thank you." They headed that way, finding the second door easily. Inside were two large books on a table. "Which one first?"

Luna looked at the spines. "This one," she announced, patting the second one. "This one's for the last twenty years." She flipped it open carefully, paging back to the right spot. They found Ginny's quickly, it was alphabetical by month and year. "There's nothing," she said.

Hermione looked at the spots. "Unkown," she noted. She considered it. "Let me get the keeper."

"She probably wouldn't know."

"No, but she might know who to ask," Hermione pointed out, walking out to talk to her. "We found the correct record, it's listed as unknown," she said quietly.

The record keeper looked up at her and nodded. "Virginia Weasley's record then." She stood up. "No one ever found a thing about it. We looked for months but we had to settle for that in the end."

"There's no clue other than the blanket and the letter?" The keeper shook her head. "Could that initial be a family name?"

"We checked, young lady. We couldn't find a thing."

"Thank you. Is her birth date right, do you know?" The woman nodded. "Thank you for your help." She went to gather Luna and took her to the nearest muggle library, getting them signed onto the internet. The British government had put all historical records on computer so they were searchable a few years back, she remembered reading about it. "Let's try the muggle side. If they didn't find anything among us, then there's probably a good reason." She typed in the name, but didn't get anything. So she tried the birth date. That got her over a hundred results. She sorted them by gender, ending up with twenty girls.

"If they gave her away, they might have hid her records," Luna pointed out. "Never filed it or something."

"Some of these come directly from the hospitals," Hermione told her, looking at each one. She called up a more extensive view then went to pay for the copy she had printed. She came back with the paper and sat down, looking at each one. "I think we can put a few more off the list by race," she noted, crossing some off. She went back to the computer screen and removed them from her list. That left five. None of which were born anywhere near the Burrow.

Luna had a sudden burst of insight, wrong or not. "She could be like Xander," she pointed out.

"Wouldn't she have memories?" Hermione asked. Luna shrugged. "Who would know?"

"I think we should ask my father," she put forth. "He knows a lot about this sort of thing and he has an archive of old papers."

"Good point." Hermione signed off, then signed back on and did a global search for people-finding agencies. The sort who combed through records to find people for you. She filled in what little she had to give them and paid for it with her mother's debit card. She had said it was permissible. They promised a report in five days by mail. "That should help some too, just in case." She gathered up everything and they left to go back to Luna's house.

Ginny was still asleep, put into that state by Luna last night. She really couldn't stand it when people cried around her.

Redemption.

Philip Callahan had traveled half the night to be here at this moment. It was freezing and the wind was whipping around his body, but he knew that the only person who could listen to a full confession of his was inside this beautiful, old Orthodox church. He took a deep breath before pushing open the door and walking inside. There was only one other priest within the Legacy who could possibly understand all the things he had been through and everything that he was, so he had traveled overnight to St. Petersburg, Russia. Fortunately, it was after morning mass and his old friend wasn't teaching. "Vostock?" he called quietly once he entered the chapel itself.

"Over here," he called, sounding like he was engrossed in doing something. He looked up, showing he was an older man, his brown and silver hair cut very short and his beard reaching down to his clerical collar. The man's skin was like porcelain because he spent so much time in the library researching. "Philip?" He stood up. "Why are you here?"

"Because I need help," Philip said, walking over to sit next to him. "You've seen the latest artifacts going to the underground repository?" The older man nodded. "They're mine, Dietrich. No one but London's house and Nick knows, but they're mine," he said in a near whisper. He looked down at his hands, then up at the cross behind the altar. "I was trapped and used as bait by something."

Dietrich put a hand on his arm. "We will walk outside. Even here the walls have ears." He stood up. "Come back to my office so I can gather my things. We'll stroll in the park." Philip nodded and followed him back to his office, rearming himself against the cold as he walked. Once they were outside in the bright, but ineffective, sunlight, he looked at his former protégé. "What happened, Philip?"

"I went back for a reunion," Philip told him. The older man gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Things are happenin' over there, Dietrich. Bad things. I had ta help and the local Diocese didn't seem to mind at the moment."

"We have heard *HE* returned," Dietrich admitted.

"It's been two years now, and the attacks have started," Philip said quietly, glancing around. "Dumbledore called us back to get help against him. His champion's a little boy who's already seen enough death and unhappiness."

"So you allowed yourself to get sucked back in. Did you confess that?"

"I did," Philip admitted. "Even though I think that the current Pope is wrong and that God wouldn't care that I'm what I am." He stiffened up some, feeling a little better already. "The old group and I got back together again. We talked, we've made plans to guard the younger generation. One of us even married the younger generation," he admitted with a small smile. "Then the centaurs burned down the house that had been our meeting spot and it broke the charm that bound us and let us hear each other when we needed it." He coughed and stopped, looking at his friend. "I went to check on it and found the remains. When I was walkin' back, I ran into a spirit after being knocked out. She's the one who tainted me."

"And now all those urges that you have fought for years, plus others that make you unsure of yourself come out," Dietrich put in. Philip nodded. "What do you want to do, Philip? I cannot feel a taint to clear it. I am a wizard, yes, but not one of that nature."

Philip let out a bitter laugh. "I have ta confess," he told him. "I can't imagine what would happen if I told all to one of the priests in London. They'd be shocked and horrified if they knew that evil wasn't something metaphysical. That it was something *real* that could come for them and those they protect. I can't do that to someone who isn't called."

Dietrich patted him on the arm. "I will hear your confession," he agreed. "I do understand. You and I have both done things that our churches deemed radical and antithesis of what they believe God is," he quietly agreed. "There is nothing that you cannot say to me."

"I've had urges, Dietrich. Ones that make me leer at married women. Ones that make me want what I know is not mine and can't be mine." The older man nodded. "That and the dreams are starting. I...." He shook his head and slumped again. "I feel like I'm being called to another purpose, to be a Knight."

"It has happened in your family in the past," Dietrich reminded him. "Come, let's get out of the cold and we'll talk in my office before I hear your confession." Philip gave him a grateful look. As they walked back toward the church, the older priest glanced at the younger. "It is a good thing you did not share this with those young men you consider old enough to be wise," he said with a touch of humor. "Can you imagine what they would think if they knew what you had done two years ago? Or how they would cower under their cloaks and wail for God to save them from the boogie men?"

Philip snorted. "I'd be put away before I could say anything about that," he pointed out. "There's a lot more that I need to confess from before then. I've done it on my own but I feel as if I should do a full one."

"Then we shall," Dietrich agreed, giving him a smile. "You know," he said, opening the door. "You might be called to fix all those bad ones in your version of the church."

"Don't tempt me," Philip said dryly, but he was smiling slightly. "I nearly took one's head off last week when I ran into him and he had a collar on. I turned the idiot in myself." He let his friend lead the way back to his office. It was in the back of the basement, behind all the archives, and only someone who really wanted to listen in could get near the office to hear them.

***

Greg looked at his wife, who was looking miserably at her plate. "You've still got to eat," he said gently, giving her a smile. "Please? I'll pick you up something special tonight."

"I'm not hungry, Greg."

"I know," he soothed, blowing a kiss, "but watching you eat turns me on."

"Me breathing turns you on," she reminded him.

"Well, yeah," he said with a smirk and a leer. "You're just beautiful to me. No matter that you're going to gain a little bit of weight." She smiled at her plate at that pronouncement. So he reached over to touch her arm. "I might have to fight our kid to get at the tasty meals he's expecting," he assured her, sounding perfectly serious. She laughed and shook her head. "I can't steal them from him or her?"

"No, you can't," she told him. She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "How many more months worth of gold are you making?"

"Maybe six or seven," he told her. "We've got a great savings, the house is paid for. All the bills are paid for and paid in advance for the routine ones. I even remembered to pay the property taxes." She gave him a slight smile. "Now all we need is baby stuff."

"We'll have to have a second opinion. The healer said he couldn't be sure if that was an echo off my heartbeat or not."

Greg wiped his mouth. "Come on. We'll go do that now," he said, holding out a hand. She gave him a look like he was insane. "I mean it. Come on." She finished her juice and took his hand, letting him pull her out to the car and carefully strap her into it. Then he got in and drove them to work, leaving her sitting in the car while he went inside to ask a major favor. "Doc?" he called from the doorway.

"Yes, Greg?" Grissom answered.

"Other sort of doc," Greg said, walking in and making sure the doors were shut. "We still need a definitive answer on whether or not Emilia's stuffed up. Can I walk her into a hospital and ask them to do an ultrasound?"

"Pick up the phone and hit the third memory dial," the doctor told him. "Then hand me the phone." Greg did so, holding the phone against his ear so it couldn't add any contaminants to the body. "It's me," he said in greeting. "One of my coworkers might have a pregnant wife, but he's getting mixed results. Can I send him to you?" He smiled. "Sure. Thanks." He nodded at Greg, who put the phone up. "Be at Desert Palms in one hour, Greg. Head to the Radiology department directly."

"Thanks, Doc." He gave him a pat on the back. "You're really nice. We'll add your name as one of the middle names." He jogged out, going to get his wife an ice cream cone first, then take her to the hospital. Sure, they were twenty-five minutes early but the nurse gave them a very understanding look as she led them back into an exam room.

"Take off your shirt and push down your pants," the nurse instructed, handing Emilia a paper gown. "Your husband can stay or not, whichever you want."

"I think he'll pass out," Emilia told her. Greg pouted at her. "I won't deny you the chance to hear it first," she soothed, giving him a kiss. She smiled and the nurse left them alone so she changed into the scratchy paper gown and laid on the table, letting him arrange her clothes for her. "Greg, you're fussing," she said when he shifted her beltline for the third time.

"I'm anxious," he pointed out. "I'm not sure I'm ready to be a dad. I know I'll make a great dad, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be ready to be a dad."

Emilia shut him up by kissing him. "You'll be fine because I'll be there," she promised with a grin. He gave her a look. "Think about how spoiled this child will be."

"Grissom will buy it one of those Discovery Channel kits so it can learn DNA and fingerprinting as soon as it's old enough to spread dust," he agreed, smiling now.

"You know, I can see that. He and Sarah both are *way* too serious for their own good. We'll have to point out that fingerprinting powder is not an acceptable baby shower present."

He chuckled. "I can see Catherine's contribution. She's a mother so we'll get practical stuff like diapers."

"Those are always handy," the doctor said as she walked in. "How are you today?"

"Anxious," Greg told her. "We did nine EPT's and they came out five-to-four for being pregnant. We did one other ultrasound by the doc there said that he couldn't be sure it wasn't an echo off hers."

"Interesting." She smiled at them. "Don't worry, mine's one of the top machines in the city. It's barely a year old and has that nifty new 3-D feature. I've picked out a pea-sized tumor in the past with it. That's why he sent you to me." Greg relaxed and pulled stool over to sit beside his wife's head, holding her hands. "This'll be a bit cool," she warned, picking up the bottle of gel so she could cover Emilia's stomach. Then she picked up the wand and used it to spread the goop out a little thinner. "Here we go," she said, turning on everything. She immediately smiled and turned the monitor around.

***

Philip looked up as his old friend joined him at the table. "We'll have to pick someone to take my place," he told him.

Dietrich nodded. "I have a few candidates. Will you teach them?"

"One of us will have to," Philip reminded him with a smile. "You're living in a place that's too cold for most of us."

Dietrich laughed. "That is true. Not many like the weather around here. Even some of the natives complain about the winds." He patted Philip on the hand. "If I could, I would retire somewhere warmer when it is time."

"You could ask to switch to Greece or Istanbul," Philip reminded him.

"Bah, heat like that is unbearable to an old polar bear like myself." He patted his stomach. "Down there I would look foolish among so many young and tanned creatures. Besides, none of the good libraries are down there."

"Derek might need one," Philip offered. He had decided to meditate after confession, to see if he would get any feelings on his situation. He felt at peace for the first time in a long time, and the only time he had felt anything like that was when he had gotten his new wand. He had decided to leave the church for good and to take up his studies again. Maybe he would ask Dumbledore for a job. He picked up his spoon and dug into the thick soup. "There's a beautiful church in San Francisco. Plus, both diocese have arrangements to share libraries. There's one researcher out there now but they've gotten stuck on the theory that it's a way of explaining things to themselves."

"I see." He slurped some soup, then he shrugged. "I could ask I suppose. You're not going back to Derek's side?"

"Not yet. I think it would interfere with him and Nick's thing." He winked. "Derek gets so flustered when Nick acts like himself."

Dietrich laughed. "I'm sure he would. He is older by a few years and Nick was always acting younger than his age." He put down his spoon. "I do not feel I could serve that community though. I have no problems with that lifestyle....."

"But you like it a lot better when it's hundreds of miles away and you don't know anyone personally," Philip finished. Dietrich nodded. "That's understandable. We've got ones like that and worse in town. We've got a large segment of those who would hurt others because of their lives."

"Yes, but I would feel uncomfortable. Possibly New York. I hear their library is excellent."

"It is," Philip agreed. "I did six months there to fill in for their archivist. It's extensive and you'd have a large Russian community nearby. You'd have to watch out for the violence though. Both inside and from outside the community."

"The more I hear from the rest of the world, the more I like my own little corner," Dietrich admitted.

"I've felt the same way," Philip admitted. "I'd love nothing more than the simpler times from my youth. Before the fighting and all that." He took another bite of soup. "So, who should we call to take my place?"

"I'd like to tap Notarius. He's very interested in the subject, if a bit too overblown in the ego department."

"He's still young, it'd get knocked out of him," Philip noted, starting to smile again.

"As it did us," Dietrich agreed, smiling at him. "If you told him of your first year of training I'm sure he'd nearly run to the outhouse." Philip laughed at that. "Besides, he has the Sight, I'm sure of it."

"If you want, we can talk to him together," Philip offered.

"It might be for the best. He would not be as receptive if just I or just you came to him." He picked up his bowl and drank some of the soup. The kitchen was very chilly today for some reason. Philip got up and went to add more wood to the fire so he knew it wasn't just him. "Eat. It looks like another one of those nights."

"A ghost or otherwise?" Philip asked as he drank his soup. "Should we call this young boy in?"

"He's in Paris," he said in disgust. "Flirting probably."

"I saw him in London," Philip told him. "He might be transferring." He coughed. "Which side of the spectrum does he use?"

"He comes from a strong Pagan family," Dietrich told him. "Very strong and his mother was wise the one time I talked with her while he was ill last year." He shivered.

"I'm calling London," Philip announced, pulling out his phone. The demonic chill in the room left, leaving them alone. He flipped open his prepaid cellphone and called anyway. They'd need to talk to the boy. "Sloan, it's Philip," he announced. "I've picked a possible successor. Dietrich agreed. Notarius." He smiled at his friend. "Sure, send him up. I'll pay for his room if you don't." He hung up. "Sloan'll put him on a plane tonight. It's a good thing priests don't need paperwork like everyone else, even the Taoist monks like him."

"If we did, we'd spend most of our careers in our own countries. Then what would we do for vacations?"

Philip snorted. "Only you would call that trip to Grand Cayman Island a vacation, my friend."

"It was, even though we spent most of it in the hospital. I didn't have a single mass to perform." He saluted Philip with his mug. "What will you do instead?"

"My Ph. D. maybe," Philip said with a shrug. "If not, I'll go back to my school and talk to the Headmaster. The war's about to begin in the fullest sense of the word."

"I wish you much luck. Tell me how you're doing so I can send information back to my own Headmaster. He'll be delighted it's not his duty to fight it this time."

"Yet," Philip pointed out. "There's every chance that he'll move across the Channel. A few of your own brethren and classmates lived in the dark for too long."

"Hmm. True," Dietrich admitted. "But I'm sure we will prevail. After all, the boy is on our side."

"The boy is on his own side. Things are not like what they say in the papers." He sipped his coffee. "His great-uncle had to take him in. He's training as a curse-breaker."

"It will probably be a helpful skill," Dietrich said with a shrug. "How many wandless does he have on their side?"

"Many," Philip said with a mean grin. "Not only has the Dumass clan waded into this fight, but so have a great number of others, including some of the chaos people who wouldn't stand for his version of order."

"Ah." Dietrich smiled. "That is good to know. People like Sobeieth and Rayne should never find a place in any hierarchy." He winked. "Otherwise the world will end from the mischief."

"Speaking of, I know how much you like pranks and one of the Banes is a prankster and just married twin pranksters who opened their own shop. I brought you a catalog."

"Bless you, my son, for you have sinned but in an amusing way," he said lightly. "Where is it?"

"In my bag."

"Then let us retrieve your bag and show you to your room so I might browse this catalog." He leaned closer. "Though I will make sure none of them go into the room where the sacraments are kept. The last time I did so, the itching powder slipped off the shelf and some got into the jar of blessed wine."

Philip burst out in giggles. "I think that's almost as bad as when I challenged a father to a boxing match to teach my kids about Queensberry Rules because I caught him punching his son," he pointed out.

"Bah, we do what we must to make the world a nicer place," he said with a grin. He stood up and took their dishes to the dishwasher then led his friend out to grab the bag.

***

Greg danced into his unit and hugged the corner first thing. "She is," he said happily, going to spread it around.

The doctor shook his head, but he was smiling. "That kid will be too spoiled," he noted, finishing writing the note he had started for Detective Brass.

Greg walked into the meeting area and hugged everyone. "She is." They smiled at him. "It's about two inches long and it's already got a really tiny face and fingers and toes," he said happily, taking his place.

"How is she taking it?" Catherine asked.

"She's presently throwing up dinner," he said honestly.

"Gee, thanks for that mental image, Greg," Sarah said, putting down her cup of coffee.

"Morning sickness is something I never want to repeat," Catherine told her.

"As inspiring as this news in, we've still got cases," Grissom pointed out. "I'm sure Greg has pictures we can look at later?" Greg pulled them out and put the envelope onto the table, shoving them down. "Thanks." He looked at Nick. "How is your case going?"

"I can't find a thing," Nick told him. He looked at Greg. "Don't you guys have some way of finding traces of substances?"

"Not that I know of," Greg lied. "Besides, it wouldn't be admissible. Someone will ask you what process you used to find it."

"Good point," Nick agreed, looking dejected.

Grissom and Greg shared a look. He agreed with Greg on this. Magic was not admissible and not a legal tool for them to use. "You got a letter earlier from the town's guardian."

"Cool. I'll pick it up after this." He noticed Emilia walking down the hall and stood up, sprinting to get to her. "What's going on?"

"I drove back to the house and found the door open," she told him. "I called it in and Brass came personally. He told me to come here and wait."

"Lab?" he whispered.

"The door was sealed," she reminded him, giving him a pat on the chest. She let him lead her into the meeting area. "Our house got broken into."

"Damn," Catherine said, giving her the seat she had been resting her sore feet on. "Here, sit. Who's there?"

"Brass," Emilia told her. "One of the day shift guys I think. Some geeky little guy with no desire for his job." She sat down gingerly and then smiled. "Sorry to interrupt."

"You're not the first," Grissom assured her. "We've had Catherine's daughter in here before and Sarah's husband Yun when he locked himself out." He looked at his crew. "Did we have anything else?"

"Greg, test results?" Sarah asked.

"I left a pile with your name on a sticky on my desk," he told her. "It was while you were gone and right before I went home."

"Thanks. I'll go look while you coo at her." She stood up and went to look, finding it right where he had said. She noticed someone coming down the hall, one of the day shift guys, and knew he had been at Greg's house by what he was carrying. "Dirt," she complained, following him.

Greg looked at the guy. "How did you get into my lab?"

"Why do you have illegal substances in there?" he asked, putting a vial onto the table. "That's radioactive."

"It's not," Greg retorted.

"Let me get a gieger," Sarah offered. She went down to their room, giving Brass a look as he crossed her path. "Meeting room."

"Thanks." He walked in and looked at Greg. "Your lab door was sealed but it popped open when he walked by it." Greg raised an eyebrow. "I don't know how."

"Easy, I tried the knob," he said.

"My lab had markings on it that stated it had hazardous chemicals in it," Greg told him. "You shouldn't have gone in without knowing what was in there." He crossed his arms and watched as Sarah came back in and tested the vial. "Uncork it, that's fine," he told her. "It's from my cauldron." She did so and the blips got a little higher but it was still far from radioactive. "See?"

"Still. Why do you have a *cauldron*?"

"It's a family heirloom," Emilia told him. "From *my* family."

"I saw it in his office before he met you," the guy sneered.

Emilia stood up, glaring at him. "We went to school together, dipshit." The man looked stunned. "We were both exchange students at the same British school. That's how and when we met. Just because I was too scared to date him *before* the reunion didn't mean anything. Besides, some of us move for a living and I wanted somewhere to store some very precious family artifacts. Did you need to know anything else about my heirlooms?"

"Yes, what's this?" he asked, pulling another baggie out and putting it onto the table.

Greg looked at the vivid maroon stone, then at the man. "You had no business touching that," he said calmly.

"I knew it, you're doing something illegal!"

"No, because that's the dangerous chemical," Greg said, staying calm. He took the baggie and looked it, noticing the smudges from fingerprints. "You picked it up with your bare fingers I see." He looked at him. "Not only could you have died from it, but you may have ruined years of work." He put it into his pocket and let his wife take the vial. "Was there anything missing, Detective?"

"No, not that I could see," he admitted. "Will you go through it with us?"

"Certainly. Let's do that now," Greg told him, brushing past the arrogant worker. "You had better have more than flights of fantasy and greed," he hissed as he walked past him.

"Greg, work?" Grissom called.

"I'll be back after I'm calm. So I don't hurt someone," Greg told him, leading his wife out.

"I knew there was something off about him. People don't attack a police station because you're working on a new lab technique," he sneered.

Sarah took the direct approach by slapping him. "Greg's got a person in his extended family who does chemical research and he's helping him." The CSI looked shocked and clutched his sore cheek. "You may not think about this, but you may have just lost us our only DNA tech."

"You also may have broken so many laws you're in trouble yourself," Grissom told him. "Go wait in my office while I call in the Sheriff and your supervisor." The man still looked shocked but he did as he said. He looked at the rest of his team. "Tell Greg I want to see him when he gets back."

"If he comes back," Catherine corrected. "That idiot just endangered his wife's safety."

"I'm sure he'll be back soon, if not today then tomorrow," Grissom told her. He went to make the necessary calls, bringing both men at a near-run to his office. These were serious charges. Once everyone was in, he locked the door. "Someone broke into CSI Saunders' house tonight," he started. He looked at the day-shift supervisor. "Your man walked into Greg's marked lab, marked with hazardous chemical signs, and started to test the substances without knowing what was in there. Not only did he remove things and storm back in here to face down my CSI, he made some very dangerous accusations about my man."

The day-shift supervisor looked at his person. "Explain."

"We were called to the break-in right at the end of the shift and I volunteered."

"Why?" Grissom asked. "Nick was already here. Did you have some ulterior motive?"

The man sneered at him. "We all know your little DNA techie is doing something wrong. He lives in a big house, with a gorgeous wife, and spends a lot of money."

"Which he explained to IA before he did any of that," the Sheriff pointed out in all fairness. "So?"

"Greg's doing some medical research on his own," Grissom told him. "Not only did he handle a few of the substances without the owner's permission, and without the owner telling him what they were, he stormed in here and he made a lot of very dangerous accusations about why my worker was attacked last year." He cleared his throat. "He also handled some of them without gloves. Gregory found a few fingerprint smears on some of the things he handled."

"He's lying," the day-shift guy spat. "Saunders is no more a normal and decent tech than that last guy we had to expose was."

Someone knocked on the door and Grissom nodded so the Sheriff let him in. "Come in, Greg," the sheriff said, giving him a bland look. "What did he handle?"

"He handled a chemical substance I've been trying to prefect since I finished my secondary schooling," Greg told him. "It's an ancient version of a pain killer." He held up a vial. "This should be green. It's blue. His touching it messed up *years* of work because he put skin oils onto the stone in the middle of the mix, the one that was filtering it out."

"That sounds like alchemy," the day-shift supervisor said, looking confused.

"Technically, herbal healing and alchemy were both intertwined. It's an ancient herbal healing technique. The stone pulls out some of the impurities while it boils. I nearly had a working version until he messed with them." He looked at the sheriff. "That means I can sue him for millions of dollars in lost revenue. I have three vials I'm testing now and it could take me years to refine the process again now that he's tainted the stone." The sheriff shuddered, they'd be liable for it as well. "Even Hodges knows better than that," he told the day-shift supervisor, mentioning the ultra-geek and bitter person on the night shift, the one who liked to gossip and stir up trouble. He looked at Grissom again. "Brass has the account of what was stolen. Someone broke in and took my pookie's laptop. The Feds will probably be in soon enough. She had some dealings with some State Department officials. I've already warned him."

"What does she do for them?" the sheriff asked.

"She's an advisor," Greg told him. "She gives advice to those who need it, no matter what sort of diplomat they are. She's attended most of the conferences and summits for the past ten years." The day-shift worker swallowed. "I know that there will be some British people coming because of what was on that."

"I only wanted to know what illegal things he was doing," he defended. "He's not a normal CSI."

"No, you're right. I'm a genius," Greg told him. "Full-on MENSA." The man winced. "Not only did you ruin part of my life's work, you endangered thousands of people because you had no idea what was in that cauldron. *If* your suppositions were correct, I could have had a bio-hazard in there and then you would have spread it around the police department by your careless actions in wanting to touch a pretty stone." He looked at Grissom. "I'm still pissed."

"Can you work the last four hours of your shift?"

"Yeah, give me an hour and I'll be back to finish this shift." He looked at the guy again. "It's people like him that make people like me cling to our own kind." He walked out, slamming the door.

The day-shift supervisor looked at his person. "Did you go in ungloved?" The man shook his head. "Did you, at any time during the walk-through, unglove?" The man nodded. "Why?"

"Because I knew it wasn't that harmful. It wasn't in any of the ventilated areas. He didn't even have it in a more secure environment."

"It's his house, why would he have?" Grissom pointed out. "Do you keep all your valuables locked up?"

"Will he press criminal charges?" the sheriff asked Grissom. The day-shift supervisor made a protesting noise. "He broke the rules of appropriate conduct while on a scene. Will Saunders charge him?"

"I think right now Greg's mad enough to kill him," Grissom pointed out dryly. "Charging him might be let go however."

"Can you talk him into it?" Grissom nodded, sure he could. "Then we'll fire this idiot for breaching protocol and endangering the case." He looked at the day-shift supervisor. "That fine with you?"

"Fine with me," he agreed. "If he was dumb enough to unglove and endanger his career and the case, then I don't want him. I'll make sure he's got an accurate set of evaluations before he goes."

"Thank you. If you can talk Saunders out of suing us I'd be really thankful as well."

"I'll do what I can," Grissom promised. "Thank you for handling this matter."

"Saunders does medical research?" the day-shift guy asked. Grissom nodded. "Is that why he was attacked?"

"It was," Grissom admitted. "This new technique, if it works, will give out a pain killer that is not addictive and would take the place of morphine and Oxycottin. There are people who make a lot of money every year off those, and even the legal ones won't like it."

"Interesting," the sheriff noted. "Are you keeping track of him?" Grissom nodded. "If he comes up with something, tell us so we can celebrate him or whatever. People like that bring others into the fold." He walked out, leaving the door open.

The day-shift supervisor looked at the guy. "We'll go clean out your locker. I'll have your evaluations delivered tomorrow afternoon." He hauled his man up and out, nodding cordially at Grissom as he left. "How dumb are you?" he hissed as he led him off. "Saunders is obviously guarded and you had better have full proof before you make accusations. Otherwise, you end up looking like a fool."

"I swear, that liquid was radioactive while I was there," he hissed back. Then he stopped. "Alchemy."

"Isn't real," the supervisor told him. He grabbed him again, pushing him against the wall. "Even if it were, you've lost your chance to prove it. Got it? If Saunders got that gold that way, then he's much too smart to be caught by one of us and he's not doing anything illegal that we can deal with. Even if the Feds touch him, we can't do anything about that. You nearly ruined my career with yours and I won't allow it." He let him go and walked him off.

Warrick Brown stepped out of the lab he had been in, looking down the hall. "Alchemy?" he asked, looking disgusted.

***

Six days after meeting with the priest who no longer wanted to take over his former spot, Philip limped into Xander's front room, looking around. "I'm back," he called. Grandma Des had graciously offered to put him up until he figured out what he was going to do with his life. Xander's head popped out of the study and one hand came out to wave him that way, though it looked too pale to belong to the head. He limped that way, giving him a smile. "Dietrich thinks the new guy will be fine if he comes out of his coma," he reported at the quizzical look. "I turned in my paperwork today and withdrew my pension from the church's vaults." He sank onto the couch with a groan of delight. The bus's seats had been kinda hard on his aching hip. "Dietrich's retiring too and we talked to the person who asked to take over his spot, he's finding a third in case it's necessary." He grinned broadly. "So I'm now free."

"Excellent," Draco said, giving him a short hug. "Do you feel better now?"

"Much," Philip admitted. "I don't have to worry." He heard a bang from the basement and looked around. "Who was that?"

"Greg." Xander sat on the other end of the couch. "Apparently someone tried to bust his little lab at his house. They were jealous." Philip rolled his eyes. "Word went up the ladder and he's under review for a promotion because he said he was working on an ancient healing potion."

"Which it looks like you could use some of," Draco added. "Let me tell him." He left them there, going down to talk to Greg. "Philip's back," he announced as he walked down the stairs. "He limped in." Greg looked up at him, frowning from his task of ripping apart metal bars. "His hips I think. He said the person replacing him should be fine if he comes out of his coma."

"Good," Greg said dryly, going to mix him something. "I'm sure we'll enjoy having him around more often." He looked at Draco. "Aren't you usually more jealous?"

"If Xander does him, I'll be upset with him, but I know it's been nearly forever since Philip's felt the touch of another human being so I'll forgive him. Xander, of course, will be begging for quite a while."

"You're just looking for more presents," Dawn teased. She was helping because Greg actually explained potions to her. She nearly had one of the first year ones learned now. He had a lot more patience than Snape did.

"It'll happen," Draco assured her. "Xander played the field for far too long to give it up totally. At which time of course I shall receive many beautiful and well-thought-out gifts in apology." He walked back up the stairs and found them kissing. "I knew it," he said.

Xander pulled him closer, putting him on Philip's other side. "We need to regentle him," he told him.

"You want to share me?" Draco asked.

"No, sweetie, I want to share Philip with you," Xander said smugly. "Or no presents."

"You shit," Draco said, pouncing him to beat him lightly until he begged for eavesdropping. He quickly found himself under his consort, looking up at the grinning and wicked face. "Don't I get a reward for being a Slytherin at heart?" he tried.

"No, but you'll get one later tonight," Xander promised him, stealing a kiss before they could be broken up by Philip. "I told you I'd never share you and I meant it. I'm a very jealous lover." He stole another kiss and a subtle rub of their cocks. "Besides, Philip likes freaky stuff."

"I do not," Philip defended.

"Yes, you do," Draco told him. "You like things like soft cuddles in the moonlight and long rides in carriages in the snow." He looked back up at Xander. "Speaking of long rides."

"Oh, you'll be getting a ride," Xander promised.

"You promised to teach me how to ride a horse, Xander, not riding you. I do that nearly every night."

"And sometimes in the afternoon," Xander agreed with a leer.

"Your one-track mind needs to derail," Philip told them. "I'm too tired to watch you two have sex."

Xander looked back at him and grinned. "I'm trying to work in as much as I can so the Hufflepuffs won't try to steal him for at least a month," he explained. He rubbed against Draco again. "Are you sure you want to learn how to ride a horse? It can make your butt sore."

"I'm sure it won't be any more sore than after what we did over spring break. I want to see the horses. Plus, we can pull Dawn with us."

"Sure," Xander agreed, letting Draco roll him onto his back. "Do you like being on top?"

"It is one of my favorite spots," Draco said thoughtfully. "Perhaps I should tie you down tonight."

"Oooh, naughty you, Draco," Dawn teased as she walked in with a steaming cup of stuff. "Here you go, Father."

"Not a father any longer," he said, giving her a pat on the hand. He sipped the foul brew, then gulped it because he'd never finish it if he didn't. "Eww."

"I feel the same way about most potions," she assured him. She leaned on the back of the couch, watching the couple play. "So, whatcha gonna do now that you're not Super Priestman?"

He laughed and patted her on the hand. "I'm gonna talk ta Albus tomorrow and see if he's got something for me."

"Watch out, you might have to join us in Hufflepuff," Draco told him.

"I was a Ravenclaw originally," Philip told him. "I met Nick many nights over there."

"I thought all the prior Banes were Gryffs," Dawn said, looking confused.

"No, not really. We were pretty inclusive in our time. Greg was a Slytherin. He tutored a few of us so we came to like him. Nick, Blair, and Emilia were all Hufflepuffs." He noticed Draco's raised eyebrow. "It suited her nature. She'd be surrounded by sex then and less negative emotions. Since she and Greg were so tight, they used to allow her into the tower, or else she'd broadcast and they loathed those times." He grinned at Dawn again. "Tipsy and most of the rest were Gryffs. We had one other Slytherin but she died."

"I'm sorry."

"It's all right. We've got you lot now and some of you more than make up for their losses. That one we lost to cancer a few years back."

"Then why did Harry's dad pick on Professor Snape?"

"Because he was easy," Philip told her. "James was a great bully who picked on anyone who wasn't one of the Marauders. That's why Tipsy used ta delight so much in puttin' him in the well." He patted her no the hand again. "Now, I need a nap. You're probably havin' fun."

"I was helping Greg break metal. He's using his cute little itsy baby stone since some nasty booger tainted his other one." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I know you'll find something that makes you as happy as fighting demons did before," she told him, then headed back to work.

"Ron should probably watch himself," Draco told Xander. Xander nodded.

"She's much too young for me, you loons," he said, tossing a pillow at them. "Am I back in that same room, Xander?"

Xander looked at him. "I have no idea where Des stuck you, Philip. Find a bed and use it for all I care." He grinned. "You could probably use it."

"Yeah, I could," he agreed, standing up with a lesser grunt of pain and heading up to find himself a bed. He found one open door at the end of the second hallway, and found himself in a second one, which had a lot more rooms. He shrugged and found a second open one and went in there, finding a bed with his bag already sitting on it. "Thank you, Des," he called quietly.

"With all his friends, Alex would need the room," she assured him. "Besides, you're less trouble than four teens." She closed his door and walked away, going to tell the house elves that he was there.

***

Greg walked into Grissoms office after his week off, like the note stuck to his computer had said to do. "You wanted to see me?" He closed the door at the nod. "What's going on now?"

"A few things." Grissom looked at him. "The Feds weren't quite sure what your wife did, but her explanation of her being an advisor and counselor was enough for them it seems." He got comfortable. "They found her laptop for her and made sure her information was encrypted." Greg nodded. "Your promotion was turned down?"

"I refused it," Greg told him. "I don't want to be watched. I'd have to leave then. I made it pretty clear to the sheriff that I felt that way."

"Good," Grissom agreed, smiling at him. "Your lab space was cleaned while you were gone. You managed to drop a piece of gold behind the sample tester. Also, the British people you were expecting showed up."

"Did they fix anyone's memories?"

"Brass asked to have the knowledge of what you do in the lab erased. They looked really surprised when they were shown the gold lump. Apparently you can tell?"

"It's slightly off in the chemical composition because pure water, even after boiling it, isn't that pure." Greg sat down. "So everyone else still knows?"

"Everyone but Nick. He begged to not know anything." Greg smiled. "That means you'll have to be careful again."

"I can do that," Greg agreed. "I've been trying to and if I have to, I can use an 'ignore me' charm."

"That might be for the best. How is Emilia?"

"I checked in with her earlier and she's just fine. She's over her whole 'go away and leave me alone' fit again. I'm assuming it's something to do with her pregnancy."

"Good." Grissom smiled. "Were there any other doubts?"

"What about Sarah? She was about to ask me if I could use my wand to help her case too."

"I've reminded everyone that we have to be able to explain how we found everything we do find. Like that Sandburg fellow's friend, we'd have to do a lot of tap dancing to explain things. I'd rather not have to force myself to lie that way."

"That's cool," Greg said, looking much more relaxed. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, Greg. My ears are about the same but I haven't had a sound blackout in a few days." He smiled at him. "Anything else?"

"Nope. Should I get back to work?"

"If you wouldn't mind. We're holding a few bodies pending their test results and Hodges doesn't have the flair you do."

Greg snorted and chuckled. "He doesn't have any flair," he retorted. "He's like a Borg. Whereas I am like that Counselor Troy. Fabulous and wanted by many." He waved and walked out, heading down to do some tests.

"Greg, I've got six backed up waiting on you," Sarah called.

"I've got two," Nick added.

"Guys, let me put on my coat. Come show me what you need and let me prioritize. We'll pull back out the plastic trays for you." He grabbed his lab coat and put it on, sitting down to work at his station. He felt the lump in his pocket and patted it, frowning when it squished. He opened his pocket and looked down, then screamed. Everyone came running and Sarah helped him out of it since that was obviously what was distressing him.

Catherine put on a pair of gloves and opened the pocket while Warrick took Greg to the meeting area. "It's a fetus," she announced. She looked down the hallway, then grabbed the phone before Grissom could, dialing Greg's home. "Emilia? Are you all right? Are you sure? No because someone put a dead fetus in Greg's pocket at work." She relaxed and the room relaxed with her. "No, just be careful. Call over one of your friends or come here for the night. Yeah, he's presently...." She trailed off and looked at the phone as a crack happened on the other end and then out in the hallway. Emilia went running for her sweetie to hold him. "I guess she'll calm him down," she said, handing over the phone and the jacket.

"Whoever did that needs drugs," Sarah told them, walking out to go back to work.

Grissom hung up the phone, then pulled out his wallet and dug out a card he had been given a few days back by that silver and black tabby. He picked up the phone and dialed the number on it. "Hello, this is Gil Grissom." He smiled. "Thank you. Yes, something's happened. No, someone put a dead fetus into Gregory's pocket. We're not sure. No one's been in here in days and it's fresh." He looked inside the jacket. "I'd say simian but I can't be sure. Yes, thank you. No, she's here and fine." He hung up. "Nick Boyle," he told the curious onlookers. "One of his closest and dearest friends."

"He works for the Luna Foundation and does some work like us," Warrick offered from the doorway. "His coworker Alex and I are email buddies. She's more into the art side and Nick does security."

"Yes, but he can call in the others," Grissom pointed out. "Let's give Greg some room. Who wants this case?" Catherine raised her hand. "Are you sure?"

"I'm more familiar with the subject."

"Good point."

"What's going on?" Nick asked quietly.

Grissom patted him on the arm as he walked him out. "We'll tell you about it later, Nick. Don't worry, just know that Greg has some very odd friends."

"But his wife appeared. She had been on the phone."

Emilia sighed from behind him and raised her wand. "Nick?" He looked at her. "Obliviate." He blinked and looked at her. "Why don't you go back to work, big guy? I've got Greg and no one's going to harm him again."

"Okay." He went back to his broken car.

"Nice work," Grissom said quietly, walking past her. "Catherine took it and I called that number." He went to talk to the doctor about looking at the fetus. He didn't like this in the least.

Planning

Greg looked at his wife, worried out of his mind. He had calmed down and he had been thinking now for the last ten minutes. She wasn't safe. He wasn't sure who had done this but he knew it was the beginnings of an attack on him and his wife. Plus, since she was pregnant, his unborn child as well. Someone knew she was pregnant. Someone knew and was using that to try and scare him. Well, he decided it had worked. "Come on," he said, standing up.

"Greg, are you sure you're ready to go back to work?" Sarah asked.

"No, but I'm taking her somewhere safer first," he announced. "I'll be back in an hour." He took her hand and looked at her. "Come on."

"Greg, we can't just barge into the school."

"We're not, we're going the next best place." She looked confused so he created a portkey, it was safer than apparating in her condition. "Come on, grab on."

She sighed but did so, hoping whomever was on the other end would talk some sense into him. She was still safe beside him. "You're all the protection I need if I can't do it on my own," she told him.

"No, I'm not. I'm tops in potions, in herbology, and in charms, not in defense." He activated the portkey, taking them to a familiar house's front steps. He caught her when she landed, steadying her. "Here we are." He opened the front door. "Alexander!" he called as he walked her inside. Professor Snape came out of the library. "Someone's been doing small attacks around us. I need her protected."

Xander came down the stairs, rubbing his tired eyes. "Greg, the time difference means it's ten in the morning. Speak slowly and clearly," he complained.

"Someone put a fetus in my workjacket pocket. Clear enough for you?" he asked.

Xander nodded. "Yeah. Draco! Emilia's here!" He walked them into his study, it had the comfier sofas. "Sit, talk. Explain. Coffee!" A house elf came running with coffee and tea for them, plus a basket of rolls. "Thanks," he said, grinning at it. "Make sure we have a room open that has a bathroom." The house elf nodded and went to pass that on. This one only served things. Xander sat behind his desk with his mug of coffee and a few rolls. "Talk," he suggested again.

Draco strolled in and pulled his cousin up to give her a hug. "How are you?" He looked her over and gasped, falling to his knees to touch her stomach. "I can see this one much more clearly than I can Tip Top's. Oh, my, you're a wonder in there."

"My wife," Greg reminded him.

"She's my cousin, I'm not touching her," Draco said absently. "The magical streams around this one are quite strong. With Tipsy's I can barely tell, yet Emilia's is very vivid to me."

"Draco, hug me, not their future child," Xander protested, grinning at Greg. "He did it to Tipsy when he figured out how to tell too." Draco smiled at them. "You're groping his future child and he's here because of a warning attack."

Draco stood up and gently pushed Emilia back onto the couch. "Then you're bloody well staying," he told her. "What happened?"

"Sit, Draco," Snape ordered. He looked over as more of the Banes walked in and grabbed cups of coffee or tea.

"Were we having a meeting?" Greg asked.

"No, it's one of those times where school's out, we've got time off, so we came to see who else had come to visit," Blair assured him. "What's going on? Should I get Jim in from the garden? I think he's boxing with a Devil's Snare again."

"I wouldn't mind," Greg admitted. Emilia looked at him. "This is serious. Someone's coming after us and I don't know who. I'm not going to have you or the future son harmed."

"Do we know it's a son?" Fred asked.

"Because if it is, Tipsy might get upset when we force our son to be gay," George finished.

"Yes, she did think it'd be poetic if our children got together."

"Him too," Emilia told them. "And no, we're considering it a boy until we know otherwise. My family usually has sons first." She patted Greg's leg as the rest of them were dragged down. "Hi, Tipsy."

"Hey, 'Mil." She gave her a hug and sat beside her. "So, what's going on this time?"

"Someone left a fetus in my smock pocket at work," Greg told her. "We've only been sure she's pregnant for a little over a week and a half." He shifted some so he could pull Emilia into his side. "It's either something to do with the war over here, something to do with the idiot who broke into my lab and tainted my stone by picking it up with his bare hands, or it's got something to do with the guy who stole the laptop Emilia takes to conferences." He tipped her face up. "I don't want you going to the next one either."

"There's a new one who's going to be taking my place full time," she promised, giving him a smile. "Otherwise I'd have to compare and most of them won't equal you in the least."

Greg smiled and kissed her. "Thanks, 'Mil."

"You're welcome, Greg." She snuggled into his side. "As you can see, he's totally paranoid now."

"We can put her in the room next to us," George decided. "That way she and Tipsy can have long talks about pregnancy." He finished his tea and put down his mug. "What about household security?"

"I've added a lot of defensive herbology strategies," Blair assured him. "I'm working on your local house next." The twins nodded and Tipsy looked at him. "Like with this one, I'll try to camouflage it with pretty plants so it doesn't look like a threatening garden."

"The house is open if you need it, Emilia. Dumbledore decided I had to join Draco for his seventh year to protect them. We'll be stuffed into Hufflepuff for the duration so we can help them learn defense."

"I'm sorry," Blair said, grinning at him. "Does it make your Slytherin soul twinge, Alex?"

Xander nodded as he broke open another roll and put cinnamon butter onto it. "Very."

"We pleaded for months not to have him do this to us," Draco agreed.

"Oh, you weren't using the royal plural?" Fred asked, smirking at Draco.

"That would be better than having him in our illustrious house," George reminded his twin. Fred looked at him. "Alex did finish his time in the school as one of us. Otherwise we'd have to add Draco as well."

"Hmm. Good point," Fred agreed, stealing a roll. "If you make us eat all these, we'll get fat," he reminded the group. Everyone stole a few rolls to eat.

Xander swallowed quickly. "Eat, people, if I get fat I'll never get laid again and Draco will go uncontrolled in the house of the happy people."

"Who are known to have orgies now and then," Tipsy reminded him.

"So we've heard," he said dryly. "We'll have our own room."

"Thankfully," Draco added.

Snape reached over and patted him on the back. "You will survive. It's only for a year."

"At least Dumbledore got through to my last aunt," Draco agreed, looking at him. "Otherwise we might have had to bury me."

"Huh?" George asked.

Tipsy coughed. "If any Malfoys aren't put into Slytherin or Ravenclaw, they're under a death sentence," she told her boys. "The hat wavered so long on Lucius that his father sent him a warning anyway, in a black letter of course."

"Oh."

"So sorry for you," the other told him.

"Dumbledore managed to free him of that obligation," Snape pointed out. "We're waiting to see if his school clothes change."

"If they do, I'm not wearing a uniform," Draco said dryly.

"Me too," Xander offered. "I look geeky in a tie."

"Back to Greg's problem," Blair ordered. "Greg, who broke into your lab?"

"One of the day shift CSI's decided I was a bad guy and decided to take the opportunity presented when our house was broken into to search my lab. He announced I was a bad guy in front of my crew and ended up being fired after I told them that he had handled my philosopher's stone with his bare hands."

"Bare hands at a crime scene?" Jim asked as he joined them. He was wiping sweat off his face and neck with a towel. "Simon would have killed our guys, even Cassy."

"Cassy would have killed him," Blair told him, shifting over to make room. "Coffee and tea, Jim."

"Thanks." He poured himself some in one of the delicate cups and sat down to nibble on a roll. "Why would he be against you?"

"Because of what he thinks I am, living a better life than he is," Greg told him. "He's jealous and out to prove he's a better human being for being a miserable idiot." Emilia calmed him by patting him on the chest. "Thanks, Emilia."

"It's all right, I wanted to eat the guy and regurge."

"Not while I'm eating," Jim begged. "Morning sickness is bad enough."

"We'll have another case around here," Tipsy told him, patting Emilia's stomach. "Did Draco pounce you yet?"

"He fell to his knees to worship our future son," Greg said with a grin. "Said he was very strong."

"It's a boy too?" she asked, starting to pout.

"We're considering him to be one until we know otherwise," Emilia told her, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "They'll be trouble buddies instead of mates."

"They'd better be," Tipsy agreed. "Even if our son doesn't like him as a spouse, they had better be close."

"We want nothing more than that," Greg said with a grin for her.

"Good," Jim agreed. "So what happened that preceded this meeting?"

"Someone put a fetus into Greg's pocket at work."

"My smock was in my lab, but it's got my name on it so they had to know who it belonged to," Greg told him. "It's either another move by the stupid CSI, a move by the person who stole Emilia's laptop, or something from over here carrying over as a threat."

"I'd say one of the first two," Xander put in. "He's been quiet for the last month."

"He's had the flu," Tipsy told him. "Death Eaters have been buying a lot of medicine for him."

Snape nodded. "They've written me as well." He looked down at Draco, then back at Xander. "They do not know about me but they suspect my loyalties are shifting back to your side since you're family."

"Then I'll gladly walk up to him and shake the snake guy's hand and introduce myself before I kill him," Xander told him. "My family is mine and I protect it with my life."

"Calm down, Xan, no one's gonna touch your cousins," Blair noted, staying calm himself. "When will we know which cause it was?"

"Catherine got assigned to search my lab for clues, but there are people leaving things in there and the day-shift works in there."

"Your lab is open, they'd have seen if anyone strange walked in," Emilia pointed out.

"Only if they were seen," Philip pointed out from his seat in the back corner. He was still half asleep so he had only been listening. "Invisibility cloaks are hard to find but not impossible. I've got one."

"Harry's got one," Xander agreed. "I've always wanted one but I can never seem to find one when I'm actively looking."

"Or they could use an 'ignore' charm," Greg offered. "That would have gotten them past everyone but Brass and Grissom, both of whom are very careful about watching for more attacks."

"This sucks," Blair announced. "We're paranoid and reacting. We should be acting instead."

"If we're not sure it was the goobers over here, then we can't be sure that attacking is the right option," Philip reminded him. "It could be that former coworker. It could be whomever stole Emilia's laptop."

Blair nodded. "True, but why would they put a fetus in his pocket? Why not a telling picture of his wife or something?"

"Because this made him more paranoid than that would have," Jim told him. "Whoever it is wants this fear reaction. Which does sound like your enemy in the war." Even he wouldn't say the name of that guy. "Why did someone steal your laptop, Emilia?"

"To get my counseling records so they could see what I talked with them about. The Secret Service and MI-5 were very nice about helping me encrypt it further so it couldn't be used again. Of course, MI-5 was much more understanding about what I did than the Secret Service was."

"Puritanical mindset," Blair snorted quietly.

"Very," she agreed. "I pointed out that I was an advisor who used calming methods, and was never sexual but they didn't seem to believe me." She kissed her husband on the cheek since he was pouting. "I never have," she assured him. "I only broadcast at them. I never let them entertain me," she promised.

He stole a quick kiss and stood up. "I know you didn't, Emilia. Why would you want some slimy hustler like most politicians are near you?" She grinned at him. "But I did tell them I'd be back in an hour. So you stay here and behave. I'll be back every free moment I have."

"Hey, my house is your house for a while," Xander offered. He noticed his aunt lurking outside. "You might as well come in."

She walked in. "I was on my way to the kitchen, Alex. Were your friends staying?"

"I've got to get back to work," Greg told her, giving her a pat on the arm as he walked past her. "Emilia's staying and she's preggers too. Xander, thank you for guarding my treasure."

"That's part of the job description," he said dryly, but he was smiling. "Go back to work so we can spoil her rotten and give her things to make you beg." Greg grinned as he left. "Okay, serious time, people. Blair, defenses?"

"Up and running," he announced. "All but in one spot."

"Severus, the other defenses?"

"Nearly done," he agreed. "Philip and I have been working hard on them."

"Cool beans. Draco?"

"The sensing spells are nearly done as well."

"Jim? How does it look to a normal guy?"

"Like nothing's different. I could only see a bit of a difference in the gardens and only that one mark over the front door."

"Good. Boys?"

"The alert system is laid out on the front lawn at intervals," they said in unison.

"Smoke, bangers, and lights," Fred added.

"George and I have been working on noise makers," Tipsy put in. "We've almost got them all laid. Fred's and our path are different enough that it's almost all covered and they're not detectable by scrying for magic. That's been my contribution to the front lawn."

"Good," Xander agreed. "Any other suggestions?"

"No, you seem to have a pretty secure house," Blair pointed out. "I'm going to do Tipsy and the boys' house next. Then we're going to work on the school for a month." He looked at Jim. "That'll be while you're at that convention and on vacation for your sanity."

Jim nodded. "Thanks. Those paintings still bother me."

"Some of them bother us too," Xander's aunt told him. "Alex, are you sure you needed us?"

"I didn't call you guys back," Xander reminded her. "Des did." She nodded. "Not that I'm not glad to have you guys back. The house is full of noise and people, the way it should be." She smiled and went to help the house elves with breakfast. "What am I doing?"

"You're going to guard your work areas and the vaults," Tipsy told him.

"Good point. I was gonna teach the crew that this summer." He looked at Draco. "Where are the other three?"

"Potter and Weasley are in the library, asleep on the table," Draco told him. "Dawn's curled up in a chair with her history book." He smirked at Snape. "As ordered, they're doing their homework early this summer."

"Good," Snape agreed.

"They didn't need to be doing it all night," Xander pointed out. "I'll make them take the day off today. We've got to search the vaults anyway so we're heading into Diagon."

"Potter's only has gold," Draco told him.

"Not necessarily," Xander argued. "There could be things hidden under it. Besides, I was talking about the family vaults. There are some dark corners in that thing and we've arranged to go through them to see what was left down there." He stood up and stretched. "Other than that, what does everyone have planned?"

"We're going to eat breakfast," Tipsy offered, heaving Emilia up with her. "Boys?"

"Coming," the twins agreed, coming over to escort the two wonderfully pregnant ones to the table. "Ron, get your butt up," one of them called as they walked past the library.

"Food," Draco called as he joined them. He took Emilia's side so he could watch the magic weaving around in her stomach. It was fairly hypnotic. The other three students walked in and found their own spots. Xander came in and sat in his usual spot, looking over at his consort, who wasn't at his side. "I want to watch her stomach," he offered at the look. "The magic is shifting and moving and it's very pretty."

"I'm not an artwork, kid, go sit on your consort's lap. You can stare at our stomachs later," Emilia ordered. Draco sighed but went back to his usual spot, freeing his seat for Blair. She grinned at him. "Young boys find some odd things fascinating."

"He's never seen a pregnant person before," Ron pointed out. "How do you feel?"

"I'll be sick in an hour. Since I've been keeping Greg's night-shift hours, I'm getting sick around lunch time, which is right around midnight Las Vegas time." Emilia looked at the contents of the table and chose the safest thing, scrambled eggs.

"Try the toast," George said, handing it over. "The house elves like to put something in the butter that helps with Tipsy's stomach."

"Thanks." She smiled and took a piece to nibble, then relaxed. Her stomach wasn't feeling the least bit upset. "I've got to ask them what this is before I go back."

"That may not be for a while yet," Xander pointed out, grinning at her. "Did you want to come with us today?"

"I think the floo would make me feel worse," Emilia told him.

Tipsy nodded. "It certainly does. Portkey will get tiring soon too." She patted her friend gently. "Trust me on this, everyone around here will be protecting you as much as possible. Don't yell at the Xander though, he's got a very fragile ego."

"Okay." She looked at him. "I guess it could be worse."

"It could," he agreed with a grin. "Ron could have been right."

"It's still a possibility," Fred reminded him. "We still haven't gotten an official answer yet. The family tree was a nice thing but I want word from a healer." His twin rolled his eyes but didn't try to argue with him, Fred was being too stubborn for that. He and Tipsy were letting him have his hopes.

"Greg had to call in a favor with the corner they work with. That nice older guy called a friend who had a super high-powered ultrasound. We got to see the baby's face in 3-D."

"Think we could get Tipsy in there?" George asked. "Our mother and I are both too anxious to do much of anything correctly. She burned cookies the other day."

"And my twin has started to twitter," Fred added for good measure. "We'll let him fuss over you as well."

"Nope, sorry, George is my fusser," Tipsy told them. "No one else's."

Emilia grinned at the twins. "Does that mean I get Fred or am I going to be cursed with a staring cousin?"

"You're cursed with me," Ron told her. "To save you from the staring cousin."

"Hey!" Draco said, tossing his spoon at Ron's head. "She's my relative, you've had enough pregnant relatives to stare at."

"I was only a year old when Ginny was born, Draco. I never got to fuss over pregnant people before." He looked at Emilia again. "If you're not up to portkey or the floo, we could try the bus. It's pretty fast."

"We've got an appointment in three hours," Xander told him. "The bus isn't quite that fast, but the ladies could take it and meet us there. There should be plenty of time to do some shopping." He grinned at them. "Can I help pick out the furniture? I was a carpenter you know."

"We'll see," George told him. "Mum said she might have our old one around if Ginny didn't kill it."

"Ginny was a very active baby," Fred agreed. "What sort did you want us to get?"

"I saw this really neat one with dragons and unicorns, but it was muggle. You could still put the self-rocking charms on it though."

"What color?" Tipsy asked. "Base coat or whatever."

"White. They're not real dragons, or unicorns, but they're very cute for a little wizard or witch."

"Boys," Fred reminded him. Until he had proof, the family chart was simply folk magic. Even if it had said one of each he was sure it was boy or boys until he got official confirmation.

"If it's twins or more then it might have only read the one on top," Draco pointed out. "That would solve the whole problem about some parents wanting them to end up together."

"It would," Tipsy agreed. "Emilia, can't you tell?"

"Nope, sorry, I could only tell that your usual energy patterns had been diverted. Draco's right, they swirl around the baby. Maybe when you're further along?"

"Maybe," Tipsy said, looking down at her stomach. "What about you, do you have an opinion on the matter?" She blinked a few times. "What was that?"

"That was an incoming Ethan," Xander told her. "That uncomfy churning feeling was him moving himself."

"And probably Buffy," Harry said as he walked in. "They're on the front lawn and Ethan is looking really stunned. She's wearing some big medallion so she's not burning up yet."

"I'll go release him," Fred offered, standing up and heading out. "Eat, Tipsy."

"Yes, dear." She looked at Emilia. "Feel lucky. Greg's got to be worse than both mine together."

"Oh, he is," Emilia agreed, grinning at her. "I wouldn't give him up for anything though."

"That is good to know," Snape told her, handing down a bowl of fruit. "Try some of that, it's lightly sweetened and you should be craving sugar. Most veelas do." She looked at him but took the bowl and added some to her plate.

"Greg would expect him to fuss in his place," Ron pointed out. "He taught him after all."

"True," Snape agreed, smirking at Emilia. "I'll make sure you're very well taken care of for him."

"Gee, I'm seeing the future with restraints," Xander quipped.

"I would never restrain a pregnant woman," Severus said seriously. "They have to get up and use the restroom too often."

"Just a charm on the door, huh?" Ron said, grinning at him.

"That would be acceptable," Snape admitted. "I'm still not allowing you back into my class."

"So? I like having that extra hour off," Ron said, grinning more. "Last year it was right against a study hall once a week so I could take a longer nap."

"Or we could get into trouble," Harry reminded him.

"Yeah, or that," Ron agreed. "Hey, Xander, did you know that the Chamber of Secrets was *really* grimy, but that it had hidden rooms?"

"I'd expect it would," Xander told him. "Salazar was nothing if not crafty and desiring his own space."

"I didn't think you were old enough to have known him," Harry teased.

Xander balled up his napkin and threw it at his nephew. "I'm not, brat. I'm more than old enough to have done a report from his personal diaries though. In my day....."

"Here we go, the old people stories," Draco sighed.

Xander cuffed him gently. "It's not like that. It's a totally different view on the fundamentals of education. All my teachers gave us a paper every week. We didn't have much in the way of class practice, only homework. My potions teacher had us doing a paper each and every week. Even Dumbledore did."

"Wow." Ron looked at Harry. "Hermione would enjoy that."

"Probably," Snape said in disgust. "That would also mean a lot of grading for the teachers. We probably stopped that to make it easier on ourselves."

"No, I think some of them were just lazy," Xander told him, then he grinned at the groan from his cousin. "Even Flitwick used to give everyone else extra work."

"He did," Tipsy agreed. "We still had a paper a week from him. Though he tried to let us choose the subject most of the time so we'd at least learn something."

"If you didn't practice much in class, how did you learn so many charms?" Ron asked.

"From the books. Almost everything I know I got from the books themselves. That's another thing, our texts had a lot more theory in them than Harry's set does."

"They were thought to be too 'heavy' and that the students weren't using them," Snape told him. "They were changed just before my first year. Father bought me an older set because he decided I needed them." Xander nodded because that seemed just like Snape's father. They had played together as boys and the old guy had been a bit...stiff.

"Can we see your books, Xander?" Harry asked.

"Sure, they're in my study, arranged by year. They're in the blue bookcase." Harry smiled at him. "Please, use the library, it'll only make you better when you're older."

"True," Harry agreed. "We should bring up Hermione for a day and let her loose."

"She'd kill us asking us to bring her back some during the school year," Ron reminded him. "My trunk is heavy enough without her and her books."

"We should probably start shopping for our school supplies today," Draco offered. "Clothes and trunks at least. I need a new one and so does Xander."

"Did yours break?" Tipsy asked.

"My old one was silver and black dragonshide. I'd rather not carry it this year. It tends to lend a certain stench to my clothes."

"Good leather should be good enough," Xander agreed. "But then again my old one is probably somewhere in the vault. That's another reason I wanted to browse through the contents. Maybe I can find some of my old uniforms."

"They've changed since we went to school," Snape told him. "I doubt you could wear your old ones."

"Oh, come on, my old silk robes were very comfy," Xander complained.

"You guys had *silk*?" Ron asked. Xander nodded. "What about kids like me?"

"It's heavy silk, it'd last longer than the cotton ones you guys wear." He looked at Snape again. "Are you sure I can't? I'll wear the black pants and all that."

"We wear gray," Harry reminded him.

"I want to see this old uniform," Dawn said, sticking her head in the room. "Buffy's here." The twin who had left walked past her and sat down again. "Can I snitch some to eat with her?"

"Go ahead, Dawnie, and tell the rest of my relatives that they don't have to skulk around in the kitchens, they could eat with us," he told her. She beamed and went to do that, getting stuff fresh out of the ovens. He patted himself down but his wand was still next to his bed. "Someone summon my old photo albums from school?"

"I will. Accio photo albums," George said, flicking his wand at the doorway. He caught the book as he flew quickly at his head. "This one?"

"That one should have at least one picture of me in my uniform," he admitted. He took it to flip through it, finding the picture quickly. "Here, Draco." He handed it over.

Draco looked at the stylish, for then, outfit. Long robe, black pants, vests. No ties, just a badge on your robe to tell your house. Then he noticed the little pin, staring at it. The Xander in the picture lifted his lapel to show him. "You were a prefect?" he asked.

"I wasn't a head boy because I got switched," Xander told him, taking the book back. "The Slytherins would have caused problems. The Headmaster told me personally why I wasn't." He closed it and put it onto the table. "Our uniforms were so much more comfortable."

"Dumbledore suggested the change so it'd be warmer," Harry told him. "I read it somewhere."

"Probably in Hogwarts, A History," Emilia offered.

"No, I've decided never to read that book," Harry said honestly. "Hermione's shoved it at us so many times I never want to see it again."

Ron nodded. "Our whole first year was about that book. She checks out things like history books for light reading. She read that one a month before we started our first year. Quoted it on the train and everything."

"Some people are like that," Xander said calmly. "They're very smart but they don't often get on well with people." He picked up his juice to drink, noticing his consort was staring at him. "What?" he asked as he put it back down.

"How good of a student were you, Alex?"

"Very."

"That isn't descriptive," Draco offered. "Would you like to try and be more forthcoming?"

"Okay. I was tops in my year for OWLs," Xander told him. "Tops for the years before mine as a matter of fact. Philip broke my record if you must know."

Philip nodded. "I did," he agreed. "Miss Granger's going to try to break mine at least, if not the new record." He looked at Snape. "I believe we nearly tied?"

"I had one fewer," he admitted. "Of course, I was a taking my NEWTs when you took the OWLs."

"Yes, he was the only teacher to ever get a job right out of school," Xander told everyone. "It happened in *my* family." Snape snorted and gave him a look, but he didn't look unhappy about it.

"Can I look at the album?" Harry asked. Xander nodded and tossed it down to him, making him catch it above his head. "Thanks." He and Ron looked at it while they ate. "Wow, your uniforms were much nicer than ours," he said, starting to pout. "Think we could get away with it?"

Snape looked at the picture, then shook his head. "Probably not. Besides they were changed over because so many students complained about being cold during the day," he noted.

"Well, if they heated some of the bloody classrooms it'd help," Ron said in disgust. "I nearly wore my cloak to yours a few times. That and Charms both."

"Divinations has an open window the whole year round," Harry agreed. "I've taken to carrying an extra pair of socks and my cloak in my bag."

"Heating charms," Xander told them. "Very useful things. Use it on your seat and it should radiate up within moments." Everyone looked at him. "That's how I did it. Everyone from a second year up knew them in my day. They were taught in the beginning of your second year."

"We got them last year," Ron told him. "They are really handy. I'll have to try that in Divination this year."

"She'll order you to take it off because it will obscure her aura," Snape said dryly, sipping his tea. "She's told others in my house that in past years."

"Then she can learn how to close a window. I will complain this year. I had to go to the infirmary in January."

Harry patted Ron on the arm. "I remember. Madam Pomfrey made a serious complaint against her for it. It was warmer next class."

"Yeah, then it went right back to being cold," Ron reminded him. "At least Defense is warm."

"The library was really cold this year too," Draco put in. The other students and teachers nodded. "We'll have to fix that somehow."

"The heating system is coal and it's breaking down slowly," Snape told him. "We've had offers to put in a new system but it would require a lot of work."

"We'd help if we had to," Ron told him. "Can't they use the same ducts?"

"They'd have to run a few new ones," Xander told him. "I found a *lot* of collapsed and closed ducts. If they put in gas, we'll have some headaches," he told his cousin.

"We might, but it would hopefully be warmer."

"Except in Herbology and Magical Creatures," Draco said dryly. "Herbology had a few frozen plants last year because of the cloudy weather. That's why we learned heating charms."

"At least they have a full map now so they can see where they've got ducts and all that," Xander told him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "I'll keep you warm."

"That's true, we'll be in a higher room this year," Draco said thoughtfully. "We'll have to insulate the walls against the breezes."

"We need to figure out why the school's letting itself go," Emilia retorted. "The school's magical and semi-sentient. It should have kept itself in pristine condition for far longer."

"It's over a thousand years old, Emilia, there's every chance that the charms and spells have worn out," Xander gently reminded her. "You should suggest that to the Headmaster though, it might be helpful."

"Speaking of suggestions," Fred put in. "We got a nice one from a customer and she said you said to send it?"

"Giving it to me didn't do her any good," Xander said, grinning at them. "I told her to send it to you because you were more likely to listen to a customer than to me." He turned up the naughtiness of the grin. "Of course, she said she was including a note for Dawn too."

"She did. We gave it to her last week," George told him. "It was a good idea."

"It was, but it'd mean we'd have to totally rearrange the store," Fred argued.

"You've got cheap labor here," Xander said, breaking into the argument. "Pay the kids a few sickles an hour, have them help you by floating and moving."

"What we really need is a bigger store," George told him. "The lab is nice, but the store itself is rather cramped."

"That place beside Ollivander's is still up for grabs," Tipsy reminded him.

"Yes, but it smelled like mildew. The floors were bad. We need somewhere larger than that as well. It's got a smaller back area and we'd still have to rent space to store our supplies."

Harry coughed. "In the paper yesterday it said the person next to Madam Malkin's was going out of business," he offered. "That's a huge store, but it probably smells as well since it had potions components."

"Yes, but that sort of stench can be cleaned out," Fred said thoughtfully. "Any idea when?"

"Next week sometime," Snape told him, wiping his mouth. "She owned the building however."

"Maybe she'd let us rent it off her for now," Fred noted.

"Or maybe we can make small payments on it each month," George agreed. "Thank you, we'll pop down to talk to her today." He looked at the clock on his mate's wrist. "We should be heading off anyway probably. It's only an hour before we open."

"And you thought shopkeepers got to sleep in," Ron teased.

"We do if we don't have to stock," George told him.

"We only have to get up during the holidays," Fred agreed, wiping his mouth. He made a small package of some biscuits and gave Tipsy a kiss. "You behave today and we'll make you something startling later."

"Totally shocking," George agreed, stealing his own kiss and a wink as well. They headed off to do the shop.

"They're going to electrocute you?" Snape asked.

"They're trying very hard not to," Tipsy said, smirking at him. "Those two can be horrible. They've just got rotten days where the most wicked things come to mind." Fred ran back in and stole another kiss, giving her a wink of his own. "Sorry, love."

"What? We do have days when we're horrible and rotten, but you always seem to enjoy them," he said, giving her a wicked grin. "Just for that, we should blow you up as well." He grabbed his pen from the table and headed back.

"You know, they make protection orders against threats like that," Buffy pointed out from the doorway. "Xander, why are your relatives muttering about you?"

"Because I told them to quit hiding and sulking. I want to be able to eat with them," he called. "They are my family and they're eating normal human food so I want to see them at meals at the least."

"Your Aunt Maise is upset about other things," Des called as she walked past the doorway. "Buffy, I've had your usual room made up, dear. You can take Dawn down if you want. She promised not to touch the alchemy set."

"Thanks. She did look like she needed a nap."

"She was doing her summer homework and fell asleep in the library last night," Xander said with a shrug. "That was after I had retired to go read for a while."

"At least she got a comfy chair. We fell asleep on the table," Harry added, smiling at her. "Being undead seems to agree with you."

"Thanks. It's a much easier beauty routine now." She went to gather up her sleepy little sister and take her downstairs to talk in the safety of the dark rooms.

"Tipsy, if you and Emilia wanted to take the bus you should probably summon it soon," Snape reminded her.

"Yup, we should," Emilia agreed, finishing up her eggs. "Wow, I'm not sick at all." She grabbed a few more muffins to take with her.

They walked out and the boys looked at Xander. "What about Dawn?" Ron asked.

"Leave her here this afternoon so she can spend some time with Buffy," Xander decided. "She can help in the lab and swamp tonight." They nodded. "Hurry up then take your showers. We'll leave in two hours. That'll give us time to browse the alley before heading down."

The three boys nodded and went to do that, hurrying to their respective bathrooms. Harry pounced Ron to wrestle him for first shower, while Draco took his usual spot in Xander's.

Xander stood up. "I'm going to take one as well. The rest of you eat, relax, play hookie, whatever. If you're coming with us, we'll be going in two hours." He headed out to take a shower with his consort. He loved a wet and slippery Draco.

***

Xander looked at the paperwork for the family vaults, counting the keys. "Why do I have sixteen?" He looked at the goblin working with them. "I only had five before."

"We transferred things back for you, plus those are the family vaults. You are now old enough to get into them again," he told him. "Most of them are the usual size, only four are storage areas." He led the way to the cart, letting him get inside and driving them himself. The human's consort and apprentices followed behind them in another cart.

When they got to the ledge, Ron stared at the first vault. "So that's how they do that," he murmured, staring at the lock mechanism.

Xander reached back and tapped him. "Curse breakers aren't allowed to talk about anything we see down here," he ordered. "Even if most of us can figure out how to dismantle a vault without getting caught in the security system."

"I can see how they shield them," Draco offered. "The lock is nearly blank to my sight."

"It should be, Ron and Harry have lock sensing abilities, you have power sensing abilities," Xander told him. "The Gringotts training program brings the curse breakers down here in their last year to see who can and who can't figure things out." The goblin stared at him, barely blinking. "They are my apprentices and my consort."

"We'll have to remember that," he told him, letting them into the first vault. He tapped Ron on the arm. "If you tell anyone, you are liable for damages and for anything stolen as a result."

"I'm one of the good guys, relax," Ron said as he walked inside.

Harry nodded. "He is. He's my buddy." He followed inside as well, looking at the large quantity of boxes. "Xander, I thought you said you unpacked everything."

"I thought I did," Xander said, looking back at the goblin. "Didn't I?"

"You could not enter these until you were twenty without permission," he reminded him. "These are mostly books by our manifest."

Xander walked over and opened a box. "Gee, not quite a book," he said as he pulled out a scarlet dress. A very old fashioned Victorian scarlet dress. "I wonder which one this belonged to?" He checked the tag but it didn't have a name. "Any idea?"

"Probably your mother," Ron offered. "Or your grandmother?"

"Maybe," Xander agreed, putting it back. The next one down was a brilliant blue. "We had some peacocks in the family." He looked at the goblin. "Can you please have someone call my father? Tell him I'd like an explanation for some of this stuff?"

"Of course." He walked out to the cart and the second cart took off to pass along that message. Curse breaker or not, they weren't leaving this group down here. An older man joined the group a few minutes later, and he let him inside since he looked just like the key holder.

"Son?" Ron held up a dress. "Your Aunt Elhimina."

"Who?" Xander asked.

"My older sister. She died the year you were born, son." He patted him on the back before taking the dress to look at for himself. "These have held up very well." He folded it and put it into the box. "I didn't know what to do when the storage building was destroyed so I added them with the rest of everything." He patted Xander on the back. "Alex, there's a lot of the family you never knew. Me waiting so long to have you meant that you missed a good portion of the older family dying off."

"I thought they had all died a long time before I was born."

"Elhimina was the last," he admitted with a wry grin. "She was a stubborn old bat. She and I felt about the same way as you and Justinius did to each other."

"That sense that he was adopted?"

"That as well," his father said tolerantly. Alex and Justinius had always looked at each other like one of them belonged to some strange foreign family and that they had been adopted on a whim. "Justinius is exactly like most of the older generations. That's why my mother never really stood him." He pinched Alex on the arm. "What else have you found?"

"This one is supposed to have books but we're not sure where," Xander admitted, looking at all the boxes. "Most of what we've found in here is clothes."

"We should find a way to show them off," Ron offered. It was a good suggestion to him. "That way they wouldn't have to grow old in here."

"With this family's luck, Elhimina would show up and sour us to death," Xander's father told him. "I've got a small portrait done of her but she never embodied it. She thought those were bad and would keep her from a happy afterlife."

"Dad, I've been meaning to ask, why is Grandma Des doing that?"

"Because she wants her family back and strong again, son. She thinks you need the family." He gave him a gentle stroke to the arm. "Is she wrong?"

"No, I missed most of you, but she's pulling the stronger family members first. I'd almost rather have you and Missy back instead of Mel."

"I know, son. Don't worry, Mel's going to search for the family in Russia."

"They died during the sweeps Stalin did, dad. There's almost none of us left."

"Yes, but I don't want to deal with Mel any more than you do, son, she's too much like your mother. This makes her go *far* away." He turned to look at all the boxes. "All these are clothes?"

"I've only seen a few books," Harry told him. "We're putting a label sticker on each box to mark the contents. Some of these clothes are really old." He pointed at Ron's box. "That one looks like it could have been around when the school was founded."

"It's possible," Xander admitted. "Our family was dragged with the Christian Romans. The family's presence in the isles is actually a few years older than Hogwarts'." He took the dress to look at, smiling at the delicateness of the fabric. "This would look great on Dawn."

"It would," Draco admitted. "But I doubt she'd wear it."

The pale lavender fabric winked at them in the muted torch light. It was delicately embroidered and very well done. "We could take it and have it remade in a modern fabric," Ron offered. "She would look stunning in that and we do have a ball again this year."

"I think we can do that," Xander agreed, packing it with the paintings he had found of other family members. "Someone search the edges as well."

"I did," Harry told him. He pointed at a small velvet box. "That was hiding off to the side."

Xander's father gasped and walked over, opening it. Then he pressed it against his chest. "Your mother's wedding jewelry," he said, smiling at his son.

"Put it in the box, dad," Xander said, grinning at him. "I should call her and tell her."

"Son, did you know that Des is wondering if you were tainted?" his father asked. "The only people you seem to know these days are vampires, demons, and those who hunt them."

"And Weasleys," Xander defended.

"And Weasleys," his father admitted. "She and Molly were both tutting about your friends, son. She would like it if you brought home a *normal* witch or wizard, or even a muggle."

"Okay, I'll bring Tara over," he told him.

"No, son, she still fights. She's gotten to the point where she considers Ethan a nice wizard for you to hang out with."

Xander shrugged. "Such is my life."

"Maybe he'll make some new friends when he's forced to take this year with us," Harry told him. "I could bring over Hermione. She'd probably love her."

"She might," Xander's dad agreed. "What about that nice Longbottom boy?"

"I can invite him over too," Harry told him. That got his hair ruffled and he earned a smile. "I'll invite him over for lunch sometime this week." He went back to looking and found something, gasping. "Xander!" He held up the painting, a very naked Xander-looking young man. He was leaning against his horse and giving the artist a sultry look.

"Wasn't me," Xander told him. "That must have been Cleo's boy, what's-his-name."

"Theo," his father said patiently. "Theodore Rastminian."

"Yeah, him," Xander agreed with a grin for his old man. "He was a dead-ringer for me and he was as much a slut as I ever was." He looked at the painting. "Though, I'm bigger than he is. He must have been cold. Either that or he had to work harder in bed."

Draco looked at the painting. "Can we have a copy of that for our room?" he asked.

"Theo may have been the world's earliest underwear model, but I don't do nude pictures, Draco. If you want to see me nude, you have to ask me to take off my clothes."

"Fine," he said, motioning Harry to put it into the box when Xander's back was turned. It was slipped in and he found another painting of the same man. "Xander, did he have a charmed painting?" he asked, holding it up.

"Yes, and it was probably put into the vault for a reason," Xander said dryly. He looked at the held-up painting, watching it sneeze. "Hey, Theo. You comfy in here or did you want to join the wall?"

"I wouldn't mind seeing something other than the back of the painting in front of mine," he said bitterly. "Why was I stuffed down here?"

"The house was destroyed." Xander took the painting and tossed it onto the box, then he walked over and took out the nude one, putting it into the box he had been going through. "Are we done?"

"No, my box had many paintings," Theo told him.

"I've found them," Draco assured him. "Most of them are blank." He handed over the box so they could see if they could restore them. Then they packed up the second cart with the boxes and let Harry take it back to the house. He'd come back to collect everything else as it came free, switching with Ron if this went on too long.

***

Xander looked at the pile of boxes, shaking his head and groaning. "All right, each of you take a box, make an inventory, and give me the list." His Aunt Cordy kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks. Where did you put my old trunk?"

"Upstairs, Alex. On your bed." She smiled. "Go have a snuggle with your consort. This is boring work."

"Okay. Don't let Theo talk you into putting his nude painting up in the entry. Everyone thought it was me." He stole Draco from behind his pile and went to have loud, noisy sex with him. It was what his family liked to hear and he was happy to oblige them.

Aunt Cordy looked at her helpers. Then she smiled. "We're going to do what he said. First of all, Dawn, I want you to do all the clothes. We'll make independent piles outside of the boxes. The boxes are nasty and must be destroyed soon." Everyone nodded. "Ron, take the jewelry. Harry, anything that looks like an artifact. I'll take the paintings since I know most of them and any books go to Des." They nodded and started to divvy out the boxes, making piles in front of everyone's chair for them. Aunt Cordy whistled when she saw the nude painting that had been snuck back into the boxes, then shook her head. "That boy was so naughty."

"Where did he fit in?" Harry asked.

"Theo was my uncle, Harry. I'm Alex's maternal aunt. There's been some remixing within the family so you'll find people that look just like him on both sides." She made a note on her parchment and put the first two aside after smiling at the people in them. "Oh, here's one you should know," she said happily, holding it up. "This is your grandmother."

"The one Xander slept with?" Ron asked. She nodded. "Cool." He nudged Harry. "That's your paternal grandma, right?"

"Definitely," she agreed, smiling at him. "That's very good memorization, Ron." She made a note and uncovered the next one. "How did this one get in here?"

"We kept removing it but it kept moving back," Harry told her. "We tried to get rid of it."

"That's fine." She got up and went to put it into a closet. She didn't want to see Alex's holy maiden. She came back and sat down again, sighing in relief. "If he sees that one, expect him to get very upset."

Des nodded. "We'll put her away later. He never goes into the attic for anything." She unpacked another box, putting the contents in front of the right people. "Are there any more boxes?"

"Two," Harry told her, pointing at them. "One of them I know has Xander's mother's wedding jewelry in it. The other was from the last vault I think."

"I think that second one was Xander's stuff," Ron agreed.

Des and Cordy both got up to examine the boxes, finding the jewelry quickly. Des had it sent to her baby boy and Cordy confiscated another nude Theo painting. This one was a bit more explicit and the children didn't need to see that. Maybe she'd put them in that nice boy Philip's room.

***

Dawn accepted the package from the owl, squealing and bouncing in delight. She knew who it was from, the card on it said so and Xander had told her to expect this. She unwrapped it and stood up, holding the dress up to her body. "Oh, my God," she squealed, bouncing over to hug and kiss the people who had found it. "This is so cool! I love this. I'm gonna go try it on right now," she said, taking it to the nearest bathroom to try on.

"I think she likes it," Xander noted, digging into his broccoli.

"Hopefully it'll make her look just as good as we think," Ron agreed.

Dawn came back and it was clear she hadn't been able to wear her bra under the dress. It was too thin and it was very obvious because the house was a little chilly. She twirled and the skirt flowed up a bit, but it generally skimmed her body fairly closely. It was soft, thin, and beautifully embroidered. "Is this the bomb or what?" she demanded.

Ron leered. "I think you're wonderful in it."

She gave him a gentle kiss. "That's good. Can I wear this to the Yule Ball?"

"Not unless you can find underthings," Aunt Cordy told her. "Alex, that dress has got to be ancient. Did you find it in the stored boxes?"

He nodded. "That's a copy of the original. The original had thread of gold embroidery. It looked like a court gown. I thought Dawn needed something special."

"I *so* love this," she assured him, coming over to hug him. "Do I look good in this?" she asked Grandma Des.

"You look chilly, child. Go put on your regular clothes. I'm sure that's for the midsummer holidays." She nodded and trotted back to the bathroom to go change. "Alex, that dress could be obscene on her."

"We'll find her a slip or something," Aunt Cordy told her. "We'll have to take a picture of her in that as well."

"We will," Des agreed. "She looked very grown up in it." She noticed Ron was shifting. "Not in the house, young man." Ron stood up and went to kidnap Dawn to the gazebo she had found earlier in the week. "Alex, you're corrupting him!"

"I am not," he retorted with a grin. "If I had seen Draco in something that made him look like that, I'd be stealing him too. It's a good thing I consider Dawn to be my little sister."

"Definitely," Draco agreed. "She looked hot enough in that to even make me notice how perky her breasts are."

"Draco!" Harry said in disgust.

"I'm not poaching, simply noticing. I wonder if a thicker fabric would look as nice on her."

"Probably," Xander agreed. "Dawn is one hot thing."

"She was," Des agreed. "We should keep some cold water around in case Ron catches fire." They shared a look. She'd be telling Molly about this later.

He shrugged and accepted it. "We should think about that in white velvet for the Yule Ball."

"We should," Harry agreed. "She'd look like she was getting married though."

"Not necessarily a bad thing, young man. Girls in my day made their own wedding dresses as soon as their womanly cycles evened out and hung them in their closets to wait. That way there wasn't any delay so the young man couldn't back out."

"I thought most of the marriages were assigned," Draco said.

"Some were arranged, some not. Usually, if a girl came home and told her father that she liked so-and-so in the village then he might arrange it. As long as they weren't wealthy, there wasn't any instability, and there weren't any problems in his family line. If they were wealthy then family lines were more harshly judged. People in your class were often betrothed to their cousins before birth. That way the family money couldn't escape the family."

"And woe any son who went outside it," Xander said dryly. "Quit scaring him with tales of inbreeding, Grandma. He's probably got enough of that in his family line that he's worried about it."

"Sorry I'm late," Philip said as he walked in. He looked at the occupied seats. "Ron and Dawn?"

"Her new dress came and it was so hot Ron needed to take a breather outside," Xander told him.

Philip chuckled. "I'm sure they'll see me later then."

"It was a very pretty feasting gown for the summer holidays," Des told him. "It made her look very delicate and ethereal."

"It was thin enough that you could nearly see her nipple color," Cordy reminded her. "We'll be finding a slip later."

Philip nodded. "Then it's probably a good thing I didn't get to see it." He smiled at the ladies. "Who put the new paintings in my room?"

"Aunt Cordy!" Xander said, frowning at her. "Philip didn't need to see the naked not-me."

"You put Theo's pictures in his room?" Des asked her. Cordy nodded. "Why?"

"Because I figured it might spark an urge to start dating," she said firmly. "It was either there or in Emilia's room."

"Greg would kick my ass," Xander told her, still frowning at her. "Don't be mean to Philip. He's spent the last eighteen years as a priest."

"Eh, it's fine, Alex," Philip told him. "I can not look at your relative. Even though he does flex and pose for me. Especially the one where he's lying on top of his horse."

"Theo was the world's first underwear model," Xander told him. "Centuries before his time."

Philip snickered. "I'm sure he was. Are there many more who look nearly exactly like you?"

"Five or six," Des told him. "Most of them before the moving pictures we have today."

"Thankfully," Draco agreed. Cordy looked at him. "I don't want people watching my mate walk around and getting hard thinking about him. I'd get jealous and have every right to attack."

"I'd never try for Alex, Draco. He's too busy for my tastes," Philip promised. "I need someone slow and nice who likes to hold and cuddle."

"We could set you up with Hermione," Harry offered dryly, trying hard not to grin. "She's definitely a girly girl who likes to cuddle and read."

"She's a bit young for my tastes," Philip told him. "She's only seventeen."

"Not for another few months," Harry told him. "Besides, I've seen her sigh as you walk past her."

"I'll discourage that later," Philip assured him. "She's much too young for me."

"I thought most of us came in when we were eleven," Draco said, frowning at his nemesis.

"No, Hermione turned eleven in October of our first year," Harry told him.

"So, not only are we admitting her kind, we're admitting them early?" Draco asked bitterly. He knew better than to utter the world 'mudblood' in the house, he still remembered the last mouth-soaping he had received and the swats from Aunt Cordy.

"She's a genius or nearly one," Xander soothed, "they always get things early." He gave him a gentle pat on the hand.

"Maybe she'll calm down this year," Harry said hopefully. "No more reading us sections of her research, making our exam schedules, or study schedules."

"You need to study," Philip said firmly. "This year'll be the worst yet on homework."

"Very true," Xander agreed, one eye wider than the other as he thought. "I think I only had sex while I was studying my last year."

"Studying biology?" Philip asked with a small smirk.

"Definitely," Xander agreed. He looked over as Dawn and Ron walked in. "Feel better?"

"Much," Ron admitted with a grin. "What did we miss? Hi, Philip."

"Good evening," he said, nodding at them. "Gazebo?"

"Cuddling," she said defensively.

"We were talking about how this year will be worse for homework," Harry told them. "I'm sorry, Dawn. We'll see you as much as possible."

"Pfft." She patted him on the cheek. "If you ignore me I'll simply have to help you study. Or I'll have to pounce you both to get my fair share of the attention." She looked at Draco. "That means I'll get you up to help me practice because I want to play on my house team this year."

"Hey, if she does, then I get to," Xander said happily. He looked at Draco. "We could make Hufflepuff's team look wonderful for a year. I doubt Slytherin will let you play."

"And here I was hoping for an easy year," Harry said dryly, digging into his meat loaf. "Xander, what did you play?"

"Chaser for a year then I switched to beater." He smirked. "I was so good I had coaches panting after my butt too. They even offered me women to sign on with them."

Des nodded. "They started in his fifth year. It's amazing what sort of girls transferred in to be next to Alex's body." Aunt Cordy snickered, covering her mouth with her napkin. "Don't you remember those?"

"Oh, I do," she agreed. "Six princesses from Saudi Arabia as well."

"I never touched them," Xander told her. "They would have expected marriage if I had. It's a good thing someone else wanted them. They were a little complacent for my tastes."

"Coaches sent you *women*?" Harry asked. Xander nodded, looking very happy and proud of that fact. "All I get are nice letters for my birthday."

"And a broom," Ron reminded him.

"True, and a broom from Chuddley. They wanted me to come play with Oliver."

"You could," Xander said with a shrug. "You'll have a long life, Harry, and I'm sure you'll come back to curse breaking eventually. Go play if you want and you can stand the press."

"Really?" Xander nodded. "You're absolutely certain?"

"I'm certain. You can finish your studies this year as well. Come back to me when you're tired of the limelight. Everyone deserves to live in it now and again. I spent a year doing so. I have never seen as many reporters crying as I did the day I entered my training with Gringotts. They decided they'd miss the easy stories about who I was dating, or screwing, at that moment. After the set of quads, it really went downhill from there."

Des looked at him. "Quads?"

Xander grinned and nodded. "Quads. They shared everything. I thought I was dating twins."

She shook her head, putting one hand over her eyes. "I knew we should have cut your penis off at birth."

"If you had, then you wouldn't have been able to nag him for kids," Ron reminded her. It was her favorite activity these days.

"Good point. I could have implanted his sperm into someone else for the night and then claimed the child instead."

Xander saluted her with his glass. "As long as I'm not raising it, you're more than welcome to some of my sperm, Grandma. Because I'm not using it for that purpose."

"That's right, it's only a mouthwash for some," Dawn said, making Draco choke. She grinned at him. "What?" she asked innocently.

Philip shook his head. "And I thought the twins were bad," he sighed, stabbing his meatloaf with his fork.

"Dawn, the house rule is that there is no sex at the table," Des said firmly. "No discussion, no actual, nothing." She looked at Xander, then at Draco. "Remember that the next time you have a group dinner, grandson."

"Sure, Grandma, we'll remember that," Xander agreed. "I won't jump him at all next time."

"Please don't," Philip agreed. "The last time you nearly shocked Nick so much he quit eating."

"Hey, I got pounced last time," Xander defended. "Putting Nick off his food was simply a bonus," he admitted with a grin when Philip continued to stare at him.

"No more sex in this room, Alex. This room and the library. And the herbal room," she added as an afterthought. She looked at Dawn and Ron. "When you two have made a solid commitment to each other, you'll have those same rules."

"Yes, Grandma," Dawn agreed. Ron nodded, his mouth was full.

"You are such good kids. Why couldn't more of my family been like you?" Aunt Cordy sighed.

"Because most of us are like this to vex you so you live longer?" Harry suggested.

"Probably," she agreed. "You lot may be naughty and sometimes cruel but you're always entertaining." She patted Xander on the hand. "You try to behave next year. No beating up on the little darlings."

"Fine," he sighed. "Take all my fun. Can't I at least have the bullies?"

"Of course you can, nephew," she agreed. "You can even bring your friend Buffy up and have her eat them if you want." Harry broke out in snickers. "No matter what that confused Headmaster thinks, I know she'll only eat the bad students. And possibly Severus but I'm sure he can defend himself against her."

"I'd certainly hope so," Dawn said. "She promised not to eat him because she thinks he'd taste funny."

"Again, a possibility," Xander agreed. "I was told I taste funny too." He forked some more food and nibbled on it.

"Eat normally, Xander, or no Draco for dessert," Des told him.

"Why punish me?" Draco asked. He looked at his consort. "Eat it all or I'm not going to tie you down tonight and have you my way."

"Hmm, your way," Xander said with a grin. "No ropes in bed, dear. I've been captured too many times."

"Who said anything about ropes? I've got a very nice set of handcuffs from my mother to use on you."

"Your mother buys you sex toys?" Dawn asked. "Doesn't that weird you out?"

"Not really," he admitted. "Who would know me better than the person I learned to tie knots from?"

"I don't want to know," Dawn told him. "Your family is odd."

"They were probably tying up his father's victims," Harry assured her, giving her a pat on the arm. Draco glared at him. "One of the house elves?"

"If you *must* know, we tied up my father because he was pissing my mother off again. We tied him up quite beautifully, did a stripping charm, and then floated him out into the garden so he could wake up being poked by the garden gnomes trying to see if he was food or not." He smiled sweetly. "He learned his lesson."

"I'm sure he did," Xander said supportively. He gave his mate a kiss on the cheek. "I'm sure you're very good at knots too."

Draco wiped his mouth and looked at his consort. "Eat another bite." Xander stuffed his mouth and Draco grabbed him, taking him up the stairs to play with him in private.

"He cooed about that," Ron said, looking disgusted. "I didn't want to know that much about the Malfoy family."

"I'm sure his father got him back somehow," Harry assured him, trying hard not to sound like he was cooing or talking down to him. Ron gave him a hard look anyway. "Sorry."

"No, that's okay. I can take that from you." He nudged Dawn. "Don't speak to me like that."

"Okay, I won't be condescending to you."

"I tried not to be," Harry offered.

Ron grinned. "I'll get you back later, Potter. Just you wait."

"You two may not have sex in the house either," Des said quickly. Both boys looked disgusted. "I don't care if you're a threesome, there will be no sex in this house unless it's to conceive an heir or you're married."

"Of course, if we're married, we can bring in a third person," Dawn said dryly, cracking her grandmother up. "We can't?"

"No, child, if you're married you can have all the lovers your husband wants you to have," Cordy assured her. "We don't say a thing about those, but make sure any kids are named Dumass, or in your case Weasley."

Ron considered it for a moment. "I'd have to ask mum and dad, but I suppose I could take her last name," he offered. "Or hyphenate it, and give our kids the Dumass last name. That way you don't have to pressure Xander so much to have kids."

Dawn looked at him. "We can?"

"We can't?" he asked.

"Well...." She thought about it. "I want to think more before I make that commitment. The kids should be Summers or Summers-Weasleys. I never took Xander's last name when he adopted me formally."

"Speaking of, we got a letter from the Ministry," Cordy broke in. "They wanted to know why you had been adopted when your sister was still alive. I hope it's all right that we told them what had went on?"

"Buffy said it was fine when I asked her. She thought something like that might happen," Dawn told her, turning to look at her. "She said it's probably made it around as a rumor at least. "

"Thank you, dear. Why don't you talk to his parents and consider that," Des told him. Not that she'd need it. Alex had given his permission to use his sperm and she would as soon as she could get some off him. She was sure those were going to be some wonderful children. Now all she had to do was pick a mother.

***

Xander looked at his old uniform in the mirror, turning to see his rear. Thanks to the wonderful fitter, it fit him again. He had three more just like it ready to go. He may have to go back but he *refused* to wear a tie and a sweater every day. He had a few of those sort too, just to humor Dawn, but that was it. He looked dorky in the present uniform, his old one should be good enough. Even though his badge was half Slytherin-half Gryffindor. He looked over at Draco, Harry, and Ron, who were being fitted with his form of uniform. Hermione was in the other room, she was having a 'girl' moment and didn't feel right about being fitted in the same room as them. Draco's housemate Blaize was there as well. He seemed to really like his uniform. He could wear nearly anything off the rack and had made Harry pout because he was so well-built. Apparently there were no Zabini scrawny people. Xander turned to look at his rear again and Draco whistled, forcing him to smile at his consort. "You think?"

"I like that look on you," Draco admitted. "Besides, this is much more comfortable than ours." The boys all nodded.

"Plus, it sets us a little apart," Ron added. "Most everyone knows who Harry and I are, but you two aren't as well known."

"Good point," Draco agreed. He looked over as the bell rang, nodding the women over to look at their fine bodies. "What do you think?"

"I think those look *so* much better than the new ones," Emilia told him, giving him a pat on the back. "Not only are they stylish, they look very comfortable."

"They are," Xander agreed. "Were you going to start getting the maternity clothes today?"

Madam Malkin squealed and drug them over to a special rack she had full of stylish maternity clothes. "Here you are, dears. Just as soon as you start to show we can fit anything in the store to you." She walked in to check on Hermione, bringing her out. "I believe this version of the uniform is quite suitable." She considered Xander's body. "I don't remember hearing about a switch."

"These were the ones I wore when I was in school," Xander admitted. "The boys, Hermione, and I all need to be a bit apart from the rest of the kids. That way they can find us easily. Everyone might know Harry but do they know me and Hermione?"

"Did the Headmaster agree?" Hermione asked.

Xander grinned at her and lied. "Of course he did, and we can go up this afternoon and check if you want."

"No, I like this uniform. It might be a bit colder in the winter, but I'm sure I can put my old sweater on underneath." She swung her arms a few times. "They also give more, they're not tight across my shoulders."

"They are wonderful," Harry agreed. "I feel like a grown up in these."

"As you should. You look very grown up," Tipsy pointed out. "They'll take them, even if Dumbledore changes his mind. Speaking of minds changing. Your letters are at home."

"Our Head Boy badges?" Draco asked.

"I didn't pat them down," Tipsy told him, giving him a hug. "You look very grown up as well, Draco." She grinned when he grunted.

"She's teasing, Draco, let her," Emilia advised, going to do the same to Xander. "Are you sure you're not wearing this style because it makes you look bigger?"

"Emilia, I am big," he said, grinning down at her. "I put at least seventy percent of men to shame with how big I am, and most of the rest can't hold a candle to me in the style and ability department either." Draco growled, making Xander grin at him. "What?" he asked. He was dragged into a changing room and pounced.

"They don't tear very easily either," Ron said, looking at Harry. "That's handy."

"It is," Harry agreed. "Very handy. I bet I could even duel in this and not get into too much trouble."

The adults all laughed at that. Harry was such a precious kid some days.

***

Dumbledore looked up as Draco Malfoy-Dumass walked into his office, holding up his pin. "I see you've got it," he said happily.

"You promised me Head Boy," Draco reminded him, putting the Prefect's badge onto the desk. "That is not it."

"No, it isn't. Those aren't going to be sent out for another few weeks. I thought you'd like to have that one for now, in case you needed it while shopping in Diagon or something." He looked at the boy. "Step back for a moment." He noticed the old uniform and pursed his lips. "Your consort's doing?"

"He said he's coming in this style or not at all."

"He's really in no place to make demands."

"Oh, yes, he is. I could drop out," Draco reminded him. "Or I could stay and drive the whole school into a frenzied orgy every weekend." He smiled politely. "Your choice of course."

"At least those are uniforms. Mr.'s Potter and Weasley?"

"All five of us actually. Xander thought it would be for the best if the students could easily identify us in a crowd. Besides, these are much more comfortable and nice. Even Weasley looks decent in his." He straightened up. "As you can see, my badge did not change."

"I'm happy for you," Dumbledore said, giving him a smile. "I'll be sending out letters in exactly sixteen days. You'll both have Head Boy badges in your letters. Will I need to put on the standard equipment?"

"Xander and I have already done a great deal of shopping. We only need my herbs and our books."

"Xander's not taking potions?"

"A Dumass, in advanced Potions?" Draco asked dryly.

"Hmm. Good point. What did he want as electives, has he said?"

"He said astronomy and Runes. He knows most of them already so he shouldn't have too many problems."

"Our current seventh year class is going to be doing Thinial. I'm sure he's worked with it before."

"He has," Draco agreed. "He was teaching it to Weasley last weekend, just the basics of course. Will the teacher be upset if he has to correct her?"

"Not in the least, but she is a noted scholar in that area. I'm sure he knows enough use language but she knows most of the alphabet."

"I'll tell him." He looked down at his outfit, then back at the Headmaster. "I was requested to ask, have you fixed the heating system yet? Potter doesn't want to freeze off his valuable toes in Charms again, nor does Weasley want to get pneumonia from Divinations and the crackpot's open window policy."

"Do not speak about the teachers that way," Dumbledore said patiently. "And no, we haven't. We're trying to find one that will suit the school."

Draco pulled a card out of his pocket and handed it over. "Ramvette sends this. She doesn't want to get sick from Ron sneezing on her." He walked out, heading back home through the floo, with a stop to wave out at Professor Snape. He saw the amused look then left to go back to his studies and sex.

Dumbledore tapped the card against his hand then called the floo address. "Cistern Heating and Cooling." An older man's head popped up. "I am Albus Dumbledore and your name was given to us by a Miss Ramvette."

"Tipsy, yeah, I do her house locally," he said with a grin. "She's had me out to up the thermostat. Seems she's gettin' cold now that she's got two in her."

He smiled. "We've had a small problem with our own furnace. Namely, it's nearly two hundred years old and runs on coal. Also, we've had some ducts collapse on us. It's gotten to the point where even the teachers are wearing gloves to class. Since she recommended you, I'm assuming you might have an idea about our problem?"

"Oh, yeah," he agreed, nodding. "Trane."

"Train?"

"Trane, the heating company. They do forced air systems."

"This is for Hogwarts and we don't exactly run on electricity," Dumbledore pointed out gently.

"Still, they make a wizarding version. That's what Miss Ramvette's got. It's got a ten year warranty on parts and labor. It'll be easy enough to fix and I'm sure those collapsed ducts can be taken out if you know where they are."

"I had one of my student's spouses making notes on such things. Mr. Dumass had been a curse breaker and he needed to stay near his spouse."

"Dumass? Aren't they the ones going bad?"

"Not really. That was his grandmother's idea. She was a painting herself. He had nothing to do with it and they wanted to guard the family's treasures, including their new son-in-law."

"Oh." He grimaced. "I've heard of him and how the paintings did it themselves, but I never knew anyone who resurrected the dead who was good."

"They were put into stasis the moment before death. None of them were actually raised."

"Oh." He looked a bit happier. "At least he's not like the Dark Lord."

"No, Alex has quite a sense of humor," Dumbledore assured him. "Could you come up and give us an estimate? Hogwarts does run on a limited budget you see."

"Sure. When's a good time for you?"

"I'm here addressing letters so whenever you want would be fine."

"How about in maybe two hours? I've got a job coming up soon but it's mostly an install of an air conditioning pump. I should be able to make that."

"That's fine, come to the floo address Headmaster's Eire. I'll be here or a house elf will be waiting." The man's head nodded and disappeared. Dumbledore sighed. "How much will this cost us?" he muttered. The budget really was tight. He supposed it might not cost as much as the year's coal bill, that would be nice.

***

Xander looked up as Draco walked into their compartment on the train. He was already flashing his Head Boy pin like it was the Holy Grail. "Have fun doing rounds?"

"Extremely. Most of our new housemates were very enthusiastic about our presence." He leaned against his consort's side. "Granger and Weasley are in the Prefect's cars playing Snap."

"That's fine," Xander agreed, giving him a pat. Harry was napping across from them since he wasn't a prefect this year again. "Any new gossip?"

"Apparently someone made some anonymous donations to the school for the new heating system. It's in everywhere but Divinations and the Potions classroom. One won't let it come in and the other needs a bit more work. Snape might even have to move his classes for a few days they were saying. They've even found a way to run a vent out to each greenhouse so they're working on that as well. The yard's pretty dug up but Sandburg was helping plant over it. Madam Sprout is still out sick so he's filling in for a few weeks until he has to go back to teach his own classes." He ran a hand up the inside of Xander's thigh. "Think we can?"

"I think we'd wake him," Xander said, giving him a gentle kiss. "Can't you wait until after we've unpacked?"

"No," Draco said, starting to pout. "We were up late so I didn't get any then." Both their heads popped up as the brakes squealed, and Draco started to stand up. "I'll check," he offered, heading out before Xander could tell him not to go. He met Granger in the corridor. "What's going on?"

"There's a dementor on the tracks," she said grimly, frowning as well. "We'll need Harry to go shoo it away, just in case it's a trap."

Draco raised an eyebrow but he went to report that. "There's a dementor on the track and they wanted Potter to clear it."

Xander frowned and got up, heading up to the engine car. He noticed there was a single dementor, but since they tended to work in packs he scanned around; there was no other magic was near there. He pulled his wand. "Expecto Patronius!" he shouted, swishing at the evil thing. A thestral came out of his wand and fought against it, making it back away. It finally floated off the tracks and Xander canceled his charm. "Let's go," he announced. "I can't sense anything but we might be screwed anyway."

"Yes, sir. You a teacher?"

"Dumass. I got called in to watch over Hufflpuff this year with my consort." The man gave him a shocked look. "It's a security measure. Go." The conductor released the brake and the steam built up, slowly shifting the front wheels until the engine moved, then the next car, and the next on down the line. They were moving again. He grinned at the conductor. "We're halfway back in the Slytherin/Hufflepuff car if you need me." He headed back that way, going back to his consort's side. "Done."

"Good." Draco snuggled into his side. "Potter slept through it."

"He was up late last night getting that last piece of information down," he reminded him, giving him a kiss. "This is what I missed in Sunnydale, the rewards after the victories."

"With what you people did over there, I would have thought someone would have rewarded you," Draco murmured, stealing another kiss. "Fuck Potter, he can watch if he wakes up," he said, using his wand to release the seat catch and lay them down.

***

Harry walked into the Great Hall behind Hermione and Ron, who were chatting about something that had happened on the train. All he knew about was the fact that he had woken up in time to see Draco riding his uncle's body. He was still blushing about that. He sat down in the spot Ron had saved for him and looked at Hermione. "Are you staying with us or not?"

"I talked with their Prefects and they think they can handle it," she told him. She noticed McGonagall looking at her and shrugged at her. Her teacher nodded at the Ravenclaw table so she sighed. "It looks like I might be over there after all." She motioned for the Prefects to join her at the Head Table. When she came back she looked triumphant. "She agreed, they can handle most of it on their own." She looked over at Xander and Draco, two lone Slytherins in the midst of cooing Hufflepuffs. "They really do look excellent in those robes."

"They do," Ron agreed. He grinned at Harry, who shook his head, but he couldn't resist. "So, Hermione, did you write Philip this summer?"

She looked at him for a moment, then frowned. "I think he's a fascinating man, even though he gave up his magic for his calling."

"He quit the Church this summer because of what happened to him," Harry told her. "He was at the house all summer long and he's still there until St. Andrew's starts session. He's watching Greg and Emilia coo at each other and her stomach."

"She is pregnant then?" Ron nodded. "Wonderful for her. Do they know what yet?" she asked.

"A boy," Ron said with a grin. "Tipsy's having just two as far as anyone can tell. We have an official date of just before Halloween."

Hermione smiled. "I'll have to find her and the baby something. Have they picked out a color scheme?"

"Green and blue. Water colors," Harry told her. "With a fantasy creatures theme, but only the puffy ones for kids."

She nodded. "I'll keep that in mind." She looked over as Dumbledore stood up. Ron started to open his mouth and she kicked him under the table. "Later."

Dumbledore smiled at his students. "Another year has started and we are thankful that most of you came back this time." He smiled at the new first years. "Things are a bit different this year in the name of security. This year, each of your houses will have a guardian, a proven fighter of great skill. They will be telling you tonight what to do in case something happens." They all looked relieved. "Also, there is another notice. The new heating system is mostly installed and seems to work. With the exception of Potions, all rooms that had wanted to be fixed have been." That got a lot of clapping. "Please tell us if the rooms lose heat suddenly. We have a contract for labor." He smiled at the new students again. "As always, the beginning announcements are the same. The Dark Forest is forbidden to all students, no matter who they are. No magic is to be done in the hallways between classes. Mr. Filch has a list of forbidden items and he will gladly show it to any who have a doubt about some of the things they brought with them from Weasleys Wizarding Wheezes." That got some more clapping. "Now, onto the sorting."

Professor McGonagall stood up and retrieved the hat, putting it onto it's stool.

Draco looked at his consort. "Do you feel like you should be wearing a dunce cap?" he whispered. Xander nodded. "I'm glad it's not just me. This feels very wrong."

"I know it does, but we'll be okay," Xander promised. He gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Remember, you're still wearing Slytherin's patch. You are one of them. The hat had no doubt about you." Draco nodded, relaxing a bit. "One year, then we'll take a fantastic vacation before we figure out where we're going on the next dig."

"I could stand that," Draco agreed, smiling at him. The table around them broke out in applause. "But I didn't even get a kiss this time," he said in jest. Xander gave him one anyway. More clapping was heard and he was sure it was for them, not for the mousy creature joining them. "Sit," he ordered when she looked around the table. She sat down and looked at him, looking quite confused. "It will be explained to you later," he promised. She nodded, looking a lot happier about that.

"You'll make an excellent step-parent when Des finally gets her way," Xander praised. Draco pinched him but he did look happy at the compliment.

Tamed Slytherins.

Draco looked around their room, nodding because it was not only very nice but it was fairly large compared to the dorms. It had a bed, and it was a larger bed than the student ones so someone knew what they were like. It was also a sturdy bed that did not creak when he rolled around on it, which was even better. He liked that attribute in a bed. The small sitting area had a couch and a chair, both shabbily done and probably from Gryffindor by the patterns on them. The fireplace was nice but it didn't give out much heat. Very nice, they'd have to cuddle to stay warm. The walls were cool to the touch so the first thing they did was pull out Xander's spare trunk and start with the tapestries. Wall hangings to block out the breeze and to entertain while they were bored and unwilling to mingle with *them*. Next came an extra comfy chair and the good pillows they had taken off our own bed at home. Then the thick comforter Des had made as a sympathy present. Now they could settle in. Draco removed my robe and vest, looking at the tapestries. "I've never seen any of these."

"They were in storage in my vault. I found them while I was working in the desert," Xander said calmly, walking over to hug him. "I'm already ready to run away screaming. This feels so *wrong*."

"It does," he agreed, calming him down again. The poor boy could get emotional sometimes. That stupid second childhood of his had ruined him. If Xander had gotten all the love and devotion that normal children had, he wouldn't need all the intense affection that he could suck up. Of course, then he wouldn't need him and Draco would have to throw fits and kidnap him until he relented and was his anyway. Anything else would have been unacceptable. Even if Emilia did tell him that he could have picked someone else. Who else would give him everything he's ever wanted and give him great sex at the same time, all while respecting his intelligence? "We'll survive."

Dawn knocked briefly then stuck her head in. "The little people wanted to know if you'd come down and take a tour. We've got treats and stuff hidden already."

Give us a few more," Xander said, giving her a smile.

She walked in and looked at the tapestries. "Wow, those are kinda graphic," she said, staring at the one that told the tale of a battle. "Is that real blood?"

"No, just very good dyes," Draco assured her. "I touched it too." He looked around, noticing half of them were of fights and the other half were sexual. "We only brought the two types?"

"It was these or the scenes of a quest or landscapes of castles and wildflower fields," Xander told him. "How many horse processions did you want to stare at?"

"These are fine," Draco told him, smirking at him. "Though I know you added the sexual ones to inflame me."

Xander winked. "Why would I need to do that, Draco? You're already on fire for me and you know it." He put an arm around Dawn's shoulders. "Come on, let's mingle with our charges." She led them through the doorway that went down to the house, instead of the doorway that came out by the Divination hallway. "Hi," he said, earning many squeals of delight and being pounced on by quite a few people. "Hey, fragile," he told them, trying not to sound like he was complaining.

"The only one who gropes my man is me," Draco said as he joined them, back in his vest and robe. Most of the students hugging Xander grinned at him and backed off. All but one young man.

"You mean you won't share? I'm sure he's got a lot he could teach me," he said with a naughty grin.

Draco looked the boy over, then shook his head. "He's already got a bottom boy. Me." The seventh year sighed and sat down to pout. "There will be no groping of my man, I am jealous and possessive."

"And we help others like that with ideas if someone poaches," Xander told them. That got some tittering from the girls. "Is everyone down here?"

"The younger kids were sent to bed," one of the female seventh years told them. "We enforce a ten pm curfew for them so we have time by ourselves. Fifth years and up only."

"Cool beans," Xander said, looking over at Dawn.

"I'm the right age," she reminded him.

"Yeah, you are, sweetie," he agreed, kissing her on the forehead. "Okay, let's start with the basics. The escape hatch is here," he said, opening the spot. "It goes outside. You can shove the littles if you need to, but get them down it." Everyone nodded. "As a last resort only, you can use the alternate entrance to our room. It comes out by Divination and there's an escape pathway from up there too. You go up toward the classroom and move the suit of armor with the nose." The thing looked like it had belonged to Cyrano, it was very obvious which one he was talking about. "That one ends by the side entrance. Got it?" Everyone nodded. "Good. Don't worry about going in year order, just make sure some of the older kids are left behind to make sure all the scared little ones get out."

The pouting boy raised his hand. "How did you know where it was?"

Xander grinned. "Because I used to use it to sneak in during my first incarnation. I was very popular in the upper common room at that time."

"That one is closed so we only have this one and the upper level's room," the female prefect told him. "Sorry."

"That's okay. I don't expect to be doing any bed hopping anyway. Draco is all the man I need and then some." Draco smirked at that compliment. "You are," he told him. "Why would I need anyone else?"

"Keep it up and I'll jump you right here," Draco warned.

"We don't care, as long as the kiddies are upstairs," the pouting boy told him.

Dawn looked at him. "Don't encourage them. They had sex over dinner last year in front of a lot of people, including Luna and I."

"What is up with Lovegood?" the female prefect asked.

"In what way?" Dawn asked.

"She's using that funny language again and she said I looked fat."

"PHAT," Dawn corrected. "P h a t. It's a compliment."

"Oh." She smiled. "I like that then."

"What did happen to her last year?" another girl asked. "One day she's normal and then she comes back tanned and looking like that. Was she possessed?"

"No." Dawn thought about it, then shrugged. "I can't tell you the specifics without her permission. All I can say is that she went on a trip and it gave her a new outlook."

"But she was only gone for a day," the pouting boy reminded her.

"And then some," Dawn told him. "She's perfectly normal, just a little more hip. She's using Street instead of normal english."

"Was that why she was calling someone a house?" one of the fifth years asked.

"Homie," Xander corrected. "It means friend."

"Oh." She smiled brightly, making her shiny face light up. "So it was a compliment too?" Xander nodded. "Cool." She grinned at her elders. "We should get her to teach us."

"Luna figured out how to charm a CD player," Dawn told them. "Her father found her magical batteries and she figured out how to make the rest work as well. Sometimes it broadcasts in colors but mostly it's a normal CD player."

"CD?" one of the younger boys asked.

"Compact Discs. Standard for music listening," Dawn told him. "Ask Luna to show you." She looked back at Xander, who gave her a look. "Please?"

"We'll see. I have no luck finding things like that when I go looking," he told her. "And no rap."

"Fine, no gansta rap," she agreed quickly. "Can I have some dance and techno? Maybe some of the lighter eighties stuff? And would it be okay if I borrowed from Luna's Tupac collection?"

Xander sighed. "Fine."

"Thanks." She beamed and smiled at her homies. "It'll be cool! We'll have music all the time."

"Wicked," one girl agreed. "Who gets house elf begging this year?"

"Is it considered a job or a perk?" Dawn asked. "They're always pretty nice to me."

"You go for it," the seventh years told her. "You get to ask them nicely whenever we have a party." Dawn nodded. "You remember the tray from last year?" Dawn nodded. "We'd like things like that instead of veggies."

"Sure. I'll even help them if they want. I miss making cookies."

"You make cookies?" Draco asked, stepping closer to her.

"Sometimes. Not from the book or anything," she said with a grin, "but Buffy and I used to make tube cookies."

"Tube cookies?" one of her housemates asked.

"Yeah, Americans are sometimes lazy. They put premade cookie dough into tubes, all you have to do is cut off a chunk," Xander told her. "Either that or get the little squares and put them onto a sheet."

"That way you can have six or six dozen and it's not a lot of work," Dawn added. "It's also pretty good raw. Ooh, or in ice cream. I *miss* Ben and Jerry's, Xander."

"For the holidays," he promised. "We'll have some shipped."

"Thanks. You are way cool." She gave him a long hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Eww. You need to shave, hairy boy."

"He's not half as hairy as Sandburg," Draco reminded her.

"Yeah, he's got a pelt," she agreed, looking disgusted. "Chest and belly pelt. I'm wondering if he shaves his back."

"No, he's just like that," Xander told her. He gave her a pat on the back. "Why don't you go rest now?" The kids groaned. "First day's usually the longest."

"It's a tradition that the upper forms have a party to celebrate," the prefect told her.

"Ooh, food?" Dawn asked.

"Not this time, sweetie. Sixth and seventh years only." Draco coughed to hide his smirk. "Though you two are welcome to join us upstairs."

"No, that's all right," Xander told her. "We've got our own plans in that vein." He winked and led his mate back upstairs. Then he locked the door, just in case. "I want to try that one," he said, pointing at one extremely vivid tapestry.

Draco looked it over. "Which section?"

"How many do you think we can do tonight?" he purred in his mate's ear, stripping his robe off for him.

"As many as my back and legs can stand," he offered, grinning at his consort. He let himself be stripped. Xander spoiled him rotten and he adored it.

***

Greg looked at his wife, stroking some hair off her cheek. "I miss this," he told her sleeping body. "I don't want to go back without you but we still haven't caught the person."

"I'll be fine, Greg. We'll warn Penn and have him looking out for us," she whispered, turning over to cuddle him. "If you leave me here alone I'll have to pout."

"I know," he said, pulling her even closer. "I've missed seeing you bouncing down the halls to come see me." He gave her a gentle kiss to the forehead. "I want you to come back."

"We'll go back tomorrow," she promised. She gave him a little squeeze. "Honey, would you like to commune with the baby?"

"I'd adore it," he agreed, getting down to rest his head against her stomach. "Hi, baby Greg."

"Lower, dear," she ordered. He grinned and moved lower, using his tongue for other pursuits. "Yeah, that's what I needed."

"Let me knock you out," he begged. "Then you and he will get some sleep."

"Sure. I like this new need. It's like a really good warmth going down my spine all the time." She stretched, enjoying what he was doing. This part of pregnancy wasn't so bad. She grabbed the sheets, gripping them as tightly as she could as she went up the ladder, peaking quickly. He knew just how she liked it. "Again," she murmured sleepily.

"Can I have you?" he begged.

She grinned, her eyes only half open. "Sure. I'm sure we'd both like that." He grinned as he pushed into her, being very gentle. He still played with her clit, making her one happy pregnant woman. She sighed as she came, falling into a gentle and peaceful sleep under him.

Greg rolled her over with him, holding her close against his chest. "You rest, I'll do it again in four hours when you're ready for more," he promised, kissing her on the forehead again.

***

Dawn opened up her mail the second morning of classes and squealed, holding the large bundle against her chest. She noticed Draco giving her a look. "Cordy and Des got me a slip to put under my purple dress," she said, handing it over.

He looked at the slip, it was marginally thicker than the other and it would look wonderful underneath. "Show us later," he said, handing it back. He noticed the other thing and pulled it out. A very old-fashioned robe in white velvet. One with wide sleeves that were open on the outside but gathered at the wrist, like the current styles. It was vaguely shaped like her lavender gown in the top half and the bottom fell in a more a-line skirt. "Pretty," he noted. "Show them both off tonight."

"Okay." She tucked them into her bag. "I miss Midnight."

"He was happier chasing the plants in the garden," he said patiently. "He'll be up in a few weeks, after the Vet finishes treating his heart defect."

"Okay." She pouted at him. "I miss my fuzzy one."

"Take Weasley around on a leash, no one would notice the difference," he told her. Xander nudged him and shook his head. He still wasn't fully awake yet. This was too early for his tastes.

Ginny bounced over. "Can I see?"

"I'm going to try them on tonight," Dawn told her. "I'll sneak you in or we'll take pictures," she promised.

"Cool. What's the white one?"

"A trial for my Yule Ball gown," Dawn told her. "Des wanted to know how I liked it. Her note said that if I didn't, tell her what was wrong and she'd have it fixed."

"She is very understanding. My mother would tell me to fix it because it's a 'valuable life skill'," Ginny said with a touch of disgust.

"Des wanted me to pick out a wedding dress and leave it in my closet," Dawn told her. Ginny snickered. "Really."

"I'm sure you'll be able to get past that," Ginny told her, giving her a pat before going back to her table.

"It's a white dress, that would work," Draco pointed out. Xander looked at him and shook his head again. "No?"

"Grooms can't see it before the wedding day."

"If we could find a way to cover my arms, I could wear the lavender one to the Yule Ball," Dawn offered. She looked down at her prefects. "Can I invite Ginny and Luna in tonight?" They all nodded. "Thanks. I'm trying on some new clothes."

"Go for it," one of the boys told her. "We want to see as well."

Draco looked down at him. "Only if we can tie you to your chair. Her lavender one is very stunning."

"True," Xander agreed. "It made Ron go caveman and carry her off." The table tittered and giggled over that bit of gossip. "Hopefully that slip will work."

"It should look like a shadow underneath," Draco told him. "It might even highlight some of her assets."

"I don't think they needed more highlighting," Xander said firmly. "I brought a camera so we can take pictures and send one to Cordy and Buffy as well."

"Thank you." Dawn grabbed a piece of bacon off the plate and nibbled it. "I should probably put those up before some grumpy person who doesn't want me to look good tries to ruin them." She grabbed her bag, taking her new clothes up to her room.

Xander looked at his consort. "We'll have to bring smelling salts to the Yule Ball if Ron hasn't seen it yet."

"Hmm. Possibly," Draco agreed dryly. "Or we could take a picture and leave him lying there."

"Is Harry not training with you?" Luna asked from her seat behind them.

Xander looked over his shoulder. "He is, but he's thinking about playing pro for a few years before settling down to do quiet work. Why?"

"Because I heard him talking about how some of his skills are really helpful in quidditch."

"They probably are," Xander agreed. "Do you play, Luna?"

"I'm not good enough for that," she told him. "I do other things very well." She leaned back farther. "Is that purple dress really all that?"

"And a piece of cheese," Xander told her, winking at her. "Ron literally dragged her out of the house to snog her into submission."

"Wow," she sighed. "I want something like that for when I see Wes and Ethan again."

"We'll see what we can find," Xander promised. "I never excelled at fashion but my Aunt Cordy did. Maybe she's got a few ideas."

"I'll write to her this week," Luna said. "Thank you, Xander. I wish we had gotten you two."

"Us too," Draco sighed. "One of my distant cousins has apparently heard and is now hot for my head."

"He can only have it if I share and I don't," Xander told him.

"Not that one," Draco pointed out. "The one with the hair on it."

"Oh. Sorry." He sipped his juice. "I hate pumpkin juice."

Luna giggled. "I'm sure it'll be fine, Xander." She went back to her breakfast.

"Why do some people call you Xander and some call you Alex?" one of the first years asked.

"Because my second identity, the one I was given when I deaged, was Alexander Harris and I went by Xander," he told him.

"Oh. At least it's close."

"It is," Draco agreed. He looked at one girl, who was pouting down at her robes. "What's wrong?"

"I can't tie my stupid tie," she said grumpily. "Help, please?"

"Come here," he said patiently. This really was excellent practice for raising children. He'd give them a week before he went homicidal. She walked over and stood next to him, watching as he tied it. "Thin one shorter, long one around twice, then through," he instructed. She looked down as he put it in the appropriate place but she loosened it. "Not much more than that."

"Thank you, Mr. Dumass," she said, giving him a grin with dimples. "I'll remember that from now on." She went back to her seat.

"Also remember to lint brush your robes," he instructed. "You obviously have an orange cat." She blushed and nodded, ducking her head.

"Very good job," Xander said, giving him a gentle kiss.

"Not at the table," one of the fifth years sighed. "We'll get in trouble from Snape."

"We're married. I get to kiss and grope him wherever I want," Xander told him.

"Oh." He pouted. "If we're married can we do that?" Draco nodded. "Then I've got to find myself a wife." He looked around. "Hey, Ginny, would you go out with me?" he called.

Ginny Weasley looked over at him, stopping her brother by kicking him in the shin under the table. "We'll see. Ask me in a more private spot," she told him. He grinned and nodded. She looked at Hermione. "I've never had that happen before."

"I'm going to cream him," Ron warned.

"Oh, leave it alone," Hermione said in disgust. "Ginny is old enough to start dating." Ron opened his mouth. "Otherwise she might just pick the first person and make it permanent. Then what would you do?"

"Kill him," Ron said firmly.

"I'm the same age you were when you took up with Dawn," she reminded him.

"It's different for girls," he said, staying firm and convinced.

"That doesn't quite work," Harry said, grinning at him. "Dawn is younger than she is." Ron went pale. "I'm sure she'll be very careful and come running if something happens that she can't handle so we can beat the snot out of that one." Ron looked happier at that. "And of course, we'll get to threaten all boyfriends."

"Yeah, we will," Ron said happily. He shook his head to clear the daydream. "Harry, if you play pro, will you watch over Dawn for us?"

"Sure," he agreed happily. "I'll even treat her like I do Ginny." He sipped his juice then put his mug back down. "It'll only be for a few years, Ron."

"Yeah, but I don't know where we'll end up and she'll still be here for another four years. Ginny and Luna will only be here for another year and I don't want her to be alone."

"I'm sure we'll pal around all the time," Harry promised. "I'll even drive off the evil horde of men who'll surround her."

"Thanks, mate. I'm sure you'll be fierce in her defense."

"You're not going for curse breaking?" Pavarti Patil asked from down the table.

"I am, but Xander suggested I get the quidditch thing out of my system for a bit first. He thinks I'm very focused on that."

Ron chuckled. "You are. You lived it for five years, Harry. Are you thinking about Chuddley?"

"I am. I'd like to play with Oliver again," Harry admitted. "And after I get too badly injured or I get tired of the fans and the press, I'll retire to play in the tombs with you."

"If you play for three years, then you can bring Dawn with you," Ron pointed out, sounding hopeful.

"If Xander doesn't get an offer," Ginny pointed out. "He had been offered before. Your whole group might take a year off."

"That would be nice," Ron admitted. "I'd like a long vacation."

"Your mother would probably complain," Hermione told him.

"Maybe, but I've got funds to live off of," Ron pointed out. "I'll be fine for a year or more, but I'd really like to have a year without any fighting, without anything endangering my life, all of it. Besides, then I could go to all the quidditch matches I wanted and cheer Harry on."

"Sure, watch me work," Harry teased.

"Playing has never been work for you," Ginny told him. She cleared her throat. "Harry, have you thought about next year's team?"

"I have and if you'd like some practice I'll gladly let you practice as second string," he said, giving her a smile. She beamed. "Did you want to try for the seeker spot or some other?"

"I think I want to try for beater or keeper," she told him. "I'm little but I'm fairly strong."

"Then we'll have you out there with the boys and see what you can do." The beaters looked down at him and he shrugged. "Next year will need a few new players," he reminded the sixth and seventh year. "Getting them started this year won't be a problem. Getting the year after that's started this year isn't such a bad idea either. You only get players like Oliver every few decades. In two years we'll have to rebuild the team totally if we don't plan ahead."

"Maybe," one of the beaters offered, "but if we're planning on picking next year now, that means we can't put on a first year."

"If a first year comes in who's so stunning that it's necessary, feel free to bump people out of the way," Harry told him. He grinned. "Until then, we'll be looking for next year's team as well. We're losing one of you, two chasers, Ron, and I. if we can pick them now then they'll have time to match our skill level and get used to the rest of the team before the first match, which will help them a lot."

"Good point," he agreed, going back to his breakfast. He looked down at Ginny. "I want to see you fly first," he told her.

"Sure. All my big brothers taught me how to play, except the prat."

"We'll see," he told her. "You might make a better keeper. Or a chaser." He looked at Harry again. "Think your teacher would help her with that?"

"I think he plans on lording over Hufflepuff's team with his consort," Harry sighed. "Slytherin will need a new seeker and Hufflepuff may get Malfoy, Xander, and Dawn." The guys winced. "Yeah. So our strategy will be changing this year a bit. Slytherin might be the easier team."

The rest of the team laughed, that would be a nice change.

***

Hufflepuff's captain looked over as three people walked toward them with their brooms. "All of you want to try out?" he asked. He looked Dawn over. "This is really a rough game, Dawn."

"I handled slaying vampires, I can do this," she pointed out. "But I might just make next year's instead and have to practice for a bit longer. Xander wasn't sure."

He nodded. "Okay, we can try that." He looked at Draco. "We've got our seeker, but we'll see which one's better."

"Statistically, I am," Draco told him. "Except for one game, where I had the worst cold in the history of the school, I've caught against her each time."

"We'll see. Join her in the air." He looked at Dawn. "You, go join the chasers." She nodded and took off. "Mr. Dumass, are you sure?"

"Yeah, I need something physical to keep my body in shape," he told him. "I play beater best."

"Okay, we're short one," he admitted. "We'll give you a try." He stepped closer. "I am the captain, not you. I got my position because of my chess prowess, not because I'm going to be leading the charge. Can you accept that?"

"Sure, I'll be a helper if you need strategies," Xander told him. The boy frowned. "I'm good at it, kid, don't worry. If I have to, I'll work it out with the other beater and leave you the chasers."

"I can accept that," he admitted, stepping back. "Go warm up." He watched as Xander flew off. He was so casual on the broom, it was like a part of his body. He obviously was a great player. He switched to watching Dawn, noticing she was still a bit stiff and choppy with her movements. She needed more practice, but they'd be running three practices with everyone to see who got spots. Malfoy-Dumass was just as casual and their seeker was agitated. He blew his whistle. "How many chasers do we have?" he called as he mounted up.

"Four candidates for the open spot," Dawn called. "There's only three beaters total and two seekers. One keeper."

"That's fine," he agreed as he joined her. "Dawn, I want you to do ten laps around the pitch. Until you feel like your broom is an extension of your hands." She nodded and zipped off. Well. She turned very well. Maybe she'd be a keeper. He noticed Xander was watching her as well. "Dumass?" Xander looked back at him. "No funny stuff. We're nicer to each other than we are the other teams."

"I'm always nice to m own team," he said, smirking at him. "I'm only mean to others." The returning beater laughed, shaking her head. "I am, and I've still got a grudge against Slytherin."

"Good. We don't like playing them anyway." He looked at Malfoy-Dumass. They were going to be easier this year. They might actually win against Slytherin. Dawn finished her third loop and she was much more comfortable on the broom now. She would have that casualness around her sometime soon. The girl's body would become an extension of her broom. Hmm, definitely a keeper instead of a chaser. He looked at his keeper, who nodded. He was only playing because they didn't have anyone else. He liked fun games, not the harder sport versions. He saw Dumass wince as he swung his bat and one eyebrow went up. "Dumass, are you in pain?"

"Twinge," he admitted. "I didn't stretch yet." Draco floated closer, hovering to help him stretch his arms and shoulders. "Thanks, love."

"Welcome," Draco told him. He looked at the other seeker, noticing she wasn't looking too happy. "We'll fight for it if you want."

"No, I can admit you're the better seeker," she told him. "I'm wondering who Slytherin's getting."

"Jennings was my backup," Draco told her. "Jenistatsia is not a nice player and she will foul you by grabbing your broom's tail." The other seeker nodded. "I'll gladly play against my former house if you want."

"No, you can have it, I'll fall back to backup. Potter would miss playing against you." She floated over to the coach. "That okay with you?"

"That's fine with me," he agreed, kissing her on the cheek. "You can still help him practice, just in case Potter knocks him off his broom." She nodded. "Good. Summers!" he yelled. She zipped back, stopping scant inches from his broom. "You're training as a keeper. Dumass, I want to see you training as a beater, you," he said, pointing at the other guy. "You're going to be their backup." He nodded, looking pleased at that. "Let's play. Chasers, spread out and pass off." They flew up, taking a toss-up. Within moments, he knew his team and they were solid. He tapped a few to sit out for a few minutes, watching the remaining four chasers. It was a hard decision, but one of them was going to have to go.

The former seeker tapped him and pointed. "You need to work with Summers. She's still really unsure."

"I can do that. Or have her boyfriend."

"I doubt Ron would let her near him while he practices. All's fair in love and all but this is quidditch. He holds that holy."

"Good point." He whistled and the game stopped. "Okay, you four chasers, I want you to all come back. The rest of you are the team," he decided. "We'll figure out alternates or whatever next practice." Slytherin was walking toward them with their brooms and they didn't have that long today. He had signed up late for this slot. "Go change. Summers, come here," he called. She floated closer. "I want you to practice," he told her. "You can do it very well if you practice very hard. Got it?" She nodded. "Good. You're on then. The moment you slack off, we'll take the old one back."

"I'm going to practice," she told him. "I'll have Xander help me." She flew off to shower. She was grossly sweaty now.

Draco flew up to meet with Xander, watching the Slytherins. Jennings wasn't down there, but a small, fast, light third year was. Draco didn't know much about the girl, only that she was one who liked to torture others. They had found her stash of Harry dolls a few weeks later when one of her roommates had turned her in for them. Hers had been even more violent than the first year's. "Come on," he said quietly.

"Sure." Xander and he flew down, zipping past the slower Slytherins. He noticed Draco was floating next to his friends and approved. They weren't the nicest of boys but he didn't want to force Draco to give up his friends.

"Crabbe, Goyle, when did you want to be shown where the entrance to our room is?" he asked quietly.

"Tonight?" Crabbe asked, grinning at him.

"That would be fine. I'll be in the library, come find me." He flew off, joining his mate at the front door. "They'll be up tonight."

"I don't mind, Draco. I don't want to cut you off from your friends." He gave him a gentle kiss. "We need to shower."

"We do," Draco agreed. "Then we've got to work with Dawn. She's still hesitating too long. She's thinking instead of reacting."

"Okay." He followed his mate to the Prefect's bathroom to get cleaned up together. His arms did ache. He was out of practice, terribly out of practice. Yet he had stunned the other beater, that didn't speak well of his new team.

***

Ron looked up as Dawn piled into him, giving her a hug. "How was practice?" he asked, sitting her next to him so the librarian would quit staring at them.

"I made keeper," she said happily.

He looked stunned. She played his position? "Wow," he said finally. It was the only neutral thing he could think of. He wanted to toss a fit because now they couldn't fly together until they played each other.

Harry coughed. "Ron, we don't mind. It'll be the same as if one of us were dating Ravenclaw," he said, nodding at their lead chaser, who was dating a sixth year Ravenclaw and they practiced together all the time. "Don't give her any of our strategies and we'd never say anything about it unless we lost to them." He grinned at Dawn. "Congratulations. Will I be facing Draco?"

She nodded. "Yuppers. He said that the Slytherin had changed too, that it was some little third year who had some of your dolls last year. He was grousing about it near me." She leaned closer. "I'm pretty sure he wanted me to tell you."

"That's fine," he agreed with a smile. "Thank you, Dawn." He patted her on the hand. "We worked out something earlier. If I start to play pro, I'm going to try and play for as long as you're here. That way at least one of us is around, then I'm going to go back to curse breaking when I get tired of the press and the fans."

"That is so cool!" she told him. "Scary because I could handle it myself, but very nice of you to do." She blew a kiss at Xander as he walked in. Then she looked at him again. "You guys treat me like I'm some fragile doll and I'm not."

"No, you're not, but you won't have hardly any friends outside your house after Ginny and Luna graduate," Ron reminded her. "That'll be two years without any of us nearby." He tugged on her ponytail. "This way you'll have someone nearby in case you wanted opinions on your clothes and stuff."

"Okay. If you're sure, Harry."

"I am. I've been wobbling over wanting to play for a few years now," he admitted. "Xander suggested I try it for a year or two before coming back to him. That way it's out of my system and I won't wonder about playing pro. When I'm ready to drop out of sight again, I'll go back to finish my training with Xander and we'll join him then."

"Okay," she agreed. She grinned. "You are such a great big brother." She stood up and kissed him on the cheek, then did the same to Ron's. She knew better than to grab a real kiss in the library. Ron looked hurt. "I don't want a detention with Madam Pince over kissing," she said, giving him a light shove.

He chuckled and pulled her closer, kissing her for real. "Screw her, you're worth the detention."

She sighed in contentment. That was the nicest compliment she had ever gotten. Then she shook her head to clear it. "I'm trying on those outfits. Come see?" They nodded and packed up, and she went to grab Ginny and Luna from their table. "Come on, I'm trying on some new outfits and I need opinions. I've already cleared it so you guys can come up with Harry and Ron." They shrugged and gathered up their things, following her up to her house. "Hi," she told the painting. "I got it cleared with the Prefects."

"That's fine, dear. Password?"

"Um..." She thought back. "Dirt!" She frowned and tried to remember it.

"Seafoam," Harry told her. He grinned when Dawn looked at him. "One of your first years was wandering around earlier repeating it to himself." The painting swung open and they piled in through the door. "Hi," he said, waving at the captain. "We're Dawn's clothing approval committee."

"The other two members are in their room," he said. The captain stood up and walked over. "Slytherin changed to Mitchels."

Harry shuddered. "Wonderful. Thanks for the warning." He patted him on the back. "I think you guys might be the harder team this year." The captain smiled and went back to his planning with his lead chaser. He looked at Ron. "Remind me to talk to our beaters."

"Got it," Ron agreed, pulling over a chair. "Go change, Dawn."

Ginny walked up the other set of stairs, knocking on the single door. "Xander, Draco?" Draco opened the door. "Dawn needs our approval on her clothes."

"Coming," Xander said, grabbing his camera. "Come on, my fast little one," he said, pinching Draco on the rear.

"Hey!" He followed his mate down the stairs, picking a chair for himself and Xander. They were settled in time to see Dawn come down in the lavender outfit. And to hear Ron whimper. The slip created a shadow effect under the gauze that made her look even more ethereal and well-built. Draco had to pry his eyes away, the slip obviously had a built-in bra. "Wow," he said, blinking a few times. He saw Harry had stuck Ron in his chair and snorted, nudging Xander to have him look.

"Dawn, that should be lethal," Luna told her. She took the camera from the stunned fingers and took three good ones of her as she moved around. "That is a killer dress."

Dawn giggled. "I think Ron's going to die of asphyxiation."

Harry nudged Ron, making him look at him. "Breathe before you pass out." Ron took a few breaths for show. "Thanks." He looked at Dawn again. "I can guarantee that you're the prettiest girl ever seen in that dress."

One of the seventh years looked over, her mouth falling open. "Where did you find that?" she squealed, coming over to get a closer look.

"It's a copy of something Xander's family had in storage," she said, turning around slowly so she could get the full effect.

"It rides a bit high on your bum," Ginny told her. "Easily fixed though."

"Leave it," Ron told her. "She needs one spot of imperfection to make sure she's real."

Dawn walked over and kissed him gently on the lips. "I love you too, Ron," she whispered. He swallowed and nodded quickly. "Should I try on the other one?"

"Please," he begged. "Before I can't blink?"

She giggled and walked up the stairs, going to try the white one on. She came down a few minutes later. "I don't like this one as much."

"It looks wonderful on you," Harry told her.

"It's a bit tight," Luna offered. Ginny nodded. "You look like you're wearing a corset."

"No, those are Tara dresses," Dawn told her. "I have one of those. She sent me one." She looked at Ron and he shook his head. "No?"

"I don't like this one as much as the other one. It seems ...wrong somehow," he told her. "Like you're borrowing clothes that weren't meant for you."

"It's the chest," Xander told him. "In the gauzier fabrics it works better. We'll send that one back. Take a few pictures, Luna, so Aunt Cordy can have it fixed." Luna did so, catching it from each angle. "We'll send it back tonight. Go put on the Tara dress." Dawn skipped back up the stairs, coming down with it partially on. It was a blood red corset and a patterned skirt, very Tara but not really Dawn. "Let me," he said, standing up to help her. "I've had a lot of practice with these." He settled it where it was supposed to go and tightened it for her, making sure she could still breathe. It was more for showing her shape than fixing her shape so it didn't need to be tight. He stepped back and looked it over. "With a different dress underneath," he decided. "Take that off with the front clasps and put the blue or the black under it." She went up and did so and he sat down again, getting ready. She came down with the corset and her formal black velvet skirt. Ron was now drooling. "I like that," he told her, motioning her closer. "You're supposed to put the cups under your breasts, Dawn." He fixed it for her and let her go, watching as she moved around. "Ron, breathe," he reminded. "Don't drown."

"I like that," Ron decided. "Can you wear that to town with me next trip?"

"Sure," Dawn agreed, grinning at him. "Luna, Ginny?"

"Adore it," Ginny told her.

"Definitely hot," the seventh year Hufflepuff told her. "You have a friend who wears dresses like that all the time?" Dawn nodded. "Is she pretty?"

"She's not only pretty, but she's shy," Dawn told her. "Luna, picture worthy?" Luna snapped a set of this outfit as well. "Oooh, I've got one more. It was in the bottom of the package from Aunt Cordy." She hurried up the stairs, coming down a few minutes later with a tiny slip dress on. It was thin silk and it obviously was meant for those who had a wonderful body, like Dawn. It fit her perfectly and was in that perfect shade of blue for her hair and eyes. "So?"

Ron whimpered and managed to release himself, picking up Dawn and putting her over his shoulder. "We'll be back," he said, hurrying out before anyone could say anything.

"I want pictures," Luna called. Dawn's giggle echoed back as the portrait closed. "Well."

Ginny looked at Harry. "If I beg, do you think mum would get me one of the last two? I know I can't do that lavender one."

"If not, I'll help you beg," Xander told her.

Draco gave her body an appraising look. "The second. Your torso's not long enough to look good in the corset one." He stood up. "Is that last one couture?"

"Yup," Xander agreed, nodding. "We saw it in London."

"Is that why she was squealing something about D&G?" one of Dawn's roommates called. They had already seen the outfits and were extremely jealous of her body. They would all be helping with workouts this year so they could look like that when they were her age.

"Probably," Xander agreed, smiling at her. "Jealous?"

"Insanely," she agreed, going back to her book. "Were either of you good in history?"

"Not really," Xander admitted. "I had the teacher before Binns and he was even more boring." He shrugged, taking back the camera but Ginny took it from him. "I need to get it developed."

"Let me catch pictures of her in the present dress," Ginny told him. The door opened and Snape walked Dawn in, handing her to Xander. "Did you beat Ron to get her back, sir?" she asked.

"Nearly," he said. "Try to wear more formal attire, Miss Summers."

"Okay. I'll wear the Tara dress," Dawn told him. "It's really pretty."

Luna nodded. "It is. Go put it back on really quickly," she said, nodding at Xander to capture Snape. They needed a fussier opinion. Harry and Ginny both looked at her. "If he likes it then she'll *know* it was more than her friends," she pointed out.

"Why must I suffer this way?" Snape said, looking up.

"Because I've got Michanthal's diary in my bag," Xander taunted. His cousin glared at him. "Seriously. And if you stay for both dresses, I'll have Draco get the potion master's work diary." He could see the spot of drool and smirked. "I'll even let you borrow it for a full month. I gave it to Draco as a birthday present."

Snape slumped. "Fine." Madam Sprout walked in and looked at him. "I had to rescue one of yours from an insensate student," he told her.

"Ron carried Dawn off like he was a caveman," Ginny told her. "We're looking at her new clothes." Dawn coughed from the stairs, and she noticed this time the corset was on correctly. "That does look good on you," she offered.

"It does," Madam Sprout agreed. "Where did you get that one?"

"One of my friends in LA got it for me. She wears this style all the time," Dawn told her. She looked at Professor Snape, she wasn't afraid of him. "Well?"

"It's a bit old for you," he told her. "You're too young to need such enhancements."

"Otherwise?" Luna asked.

"She looks very...mature," Snape admitted under force of losing that book.

Dawn danced back up the stairs and came down in the lavender dress, still adjusting a strap. Luna got up to help and then she twirled a bit, making Luna help with the slip's skirt as well. "Oops, sorry."

Snape looked at Xander. "Your doing?"

"We found the original in the stored stuff and decided it'd look great on her," he admitted. "What do you think, as an unbiased and sometimes grumpy older male?"

Snape looked at her again. "She looks like some fairy princess," he noted honestly. She did. "It's a bit...attracting though, don't you think?"

"I like the neckline," Dawn told him. "I do have a nice set, thank you very much."

"I think you look absolutely charming in it," Madam Sprout told her. "What had you been wearing?" Dawn hopped up the stairs and came down in the slip dress, letting Luna take her picture in it now that her hair was straightened out. "My, I can see why he carried you off," she noted, looking at the other teacher. "Did he have her in his arms?"

"Over his shoulder," Snape told her. "I believe that is a bit too old for your age," he told her. "You should dress your age, not your sister's."

"Aunt Cordy found it for me," Dawn told her.

"She obviously has misjudged your age then," he said, accepting the book from Draco as he came down the stairs. "Thank you. I'll give it back in a month." He hurried out, going to get a drink.

Madam Sprout smiled at her. "I think you look darling, though I do believe he's right. That's more for a twenty-year-old, not someone your age, Dawn."

"It's couture," Dawn told her, showing her the label. The teacher looked really impressed. "I promised Ron I'd wear the corset outfit to town when we went. Is that okay?"

"As long as he's got his wand in hand to protect you," Madam Sprout told her. She gave her a kiss on the cheek and walked out, going to make notes in her diary. Dawn was incredibly built for her age. It showed that she worked out.

"What shoes would you wear with that?" Ginny asked.

"With this, a simple pair of pumps," Dawn told her. "With the lavender, I'd wear something strappy and skin-tone if I could find them." She twirled around. "I really like this one."

"You do look older than fifteen," Luna pointed out as she stood up. "But I like it. I wish I could fit into it but I'm not that well-built." Ginny sighed and nodded. "I need to find something to stun my stallions," she sighed. She gave Ginny a hug, then gave one to Dawn. "We'll get the film developed."

"I'll send it off," Draco told her. "With that white dress." Dawn nodded and went to change back into her usual outfit, bringing the white dress back down for him. "Thank you." He kissed her on the forehead. "I know why Weasley did that. It was a very honest reaction on his part." He walked away, going to sulk in his room. He would never get that reaction, no matter what he wore, because he wasn't a girl.

Xander walked in and closed the door behind him, giving him a kiss. "Some day, you'll be carried off too. I nearly did when you put on that grey silk outfit before the first auction," he told him.

Draco gave him a look before taking a kiss. "That's sweet of you to say but only girls get that reaction."

"And Dawn is definitely one of those," he agreed, cuddling up next to him. "Let's send them now."

"All right." Draco went to call his owl down, sending both to the house with a note to develop the film, send them a copy, keep a copy, and to send one of each dress to the LA group. The white dress's problems were clearly shown in that one. He came back after sending it off, snuggling in again. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I've never looked like that in an outfit in my life. If I had, I might have killed someone from my beauty."

"Probably," Draco agreed, smirking at him. "Pompous git."

Xander winked. "Me? It's not bragging if it's true." Draco laughed at that and stole a longer kiss. "What should we do for the rest of the night?"

"I need help with my Charms homework."

"If I can, I'm at your service," Xander quipped, letting him get up to grab his homework. Draco brought it back and they sat down to work on it together.

***

Cordelia Chase grabbed the package from the owl before Fred could start screaming again. "Dawnie mail," she yelled, bringing Buffy running down the stairs, followed by Ethan and Wes. She let Buffy pet the owl for her while she opened the letter. "Ooh, the Cordy there and Des got together to get her some new wizarding clothes." She grinned at Tara. "Plus, she got your dress, but she changed the skirt with it." Tara shrugged and moved closer so she could see. "Let's see," Cordy read. "The dresses are a copy of an ancient one Xander found in the family's stuff. Tara's dress. And a slip dress they found for her." She flipped over the first picture to look at it, blinking a few times. "Damn it, I'll never look like that in anything," she complained as she handed over the slip dress photo.

Tara grabbed the next one, her contribution to Dawn's wardrobe. "She looks really good in that one," she admitted. "Someone fitted the corset perfectly." Buffy snatched both pictures to look at. "Sorry."

"Someone bought my baby sister Dolce and Gabana?" Buffy asked, looking at the slip dress.

Spike pushed his was in to look over her shoulder. "That's Dawn?" he asked, snatching the slip dress to look at it closer. The picture turned and twisted for him to see it all. "Well. She's a bit grown up in that."

"She is," Buffy agreed, handing over the other one. Spike whistled at that. "What's the other one?"

"The ancient dress," Cordy said, turning it over. Her mouth fell open and she stomped off, going to have some ice cream while she sulked. She would *never* look like that in anything!

Buffy picked up the picture before anyone could and Spike whistled from behind her, a long, low one. "Spike!" she complained, turning and hitting him on the arm. Fred snatched the picture from her fingers before it could get bent. Then Tara snatched it from her. "Who knew Xander had taste," Buffy complained. "He always wore nasty clothes."

Tara blinked a few times. "Dawn is one hot babe," she pointed out. Ethan grabbed the photo from her. "Hey! You've got Luna."

"I know," he agreed. "Dawn is quite the young lady."

Fred picked up the letter to read it for herself and she burst out in giggles. "Draco told the Cordy over there that Ron had gone caveman and carried Dawn off over his shoulder after seeing her in all three, finishing in the slip dress. The pale purple one originally didn't have the slip with it and he nearly came at the table when he saw her in that alone." Buffy snatched it from her fingers. "Hey, I wanted to see." She took it back to finish reading it. "Xander and Draco have settled into Hufflepuff with her to protect that house and they're still grumbling about it but apparently Dawn is playing on her house team...." She looked up. "Sports?"

"Quidditch," Spike told her. "What position?"

"Um." Fred went back to reading. "Keeper. Her first game is in a few weeks but it's in the daytime or else you'd be invited up to watch." She handed it over. "The rest is for Buffy anyway." She went to calm down Tara and Cordy so they wouldn't pout all night.

"What's going on?" Angel asked as he walked in.

"Pictures of Dawn in some of her new outfits," Buffy said, gathering the pictures to hand to him. "Tara sent her the corset dress." She went back to her reading, smiling at how good Dawn was doing. "Spike, is this Keeper thing dangerous?"

"She's the goalie for three hoops in midair," he told her, taking the letter and going to sit down to read it. Angel started to splutter so he gave him a mean grin. "Purple dress?" he teased. Angel picked up a stake but Wesley took to from him. "Ta, mate." He finished the letter and handed it back. "She is the belle of her house," he told Buffy. "She's not only sporty, but fun and smart. The boys will come out to watch the game like never before."

"Wasn't Ron a keeper?" Wesley asked.

Spike smirked and nodded. "Yup, that means they'll play against each other. Xander's on her house team too probably. Blond boy as well." He got comfortable, taking the pictures to look at them again. "I really like her in this corset dress," he noted. "It's fairly fashionable for over there."

Ethan sat down to look at the pictures with him. "She is beautiful in it," he agreed. "In the purple she looks like someone's sacrificial offering at Summer Solstice."

Wesley snatched them because he hadn't been able to see them yet. He looked stunned. "I'd say Ron had better learn more protective charms." Gunn walked in and took them from him. "Dawn's new clothes."

Gunn looked at the top one, the slip dress. "Cute. Isn't that a little old for her though?" He hand them over, looking as Wesley changed pictures. "Whoa, we're letting that girl wear corsets? Tara's one thing, she looks innocent. Dawn looks like she's about to become some evil goddess."

"That's my sister," Buffy said proudly. "Look at the other one. Ron went caveboy and snatched her in it."

Wesley flipped the picture and Gunn's mouth fell open. "They're allowed to wear that over there? From Evil Goddess to Good and Pure Goddess."

"Not really, but it's for feasts and things," Spike told him. "We'll get her in her uniform soon. The Hufflepuff colors should look smashing on her."

"They should," Buffy agreed. "That's the same ones on her little tie, right?" Spike nodded.

"Why do the girls wear ties?" Wesley asked. "That and skirts are an odd choice."

"Because men picked the wardrobe," Spike said dryly. "This way, they can prove that they're as good as the boys, but the skirts prove that they're all female." He smirked at him. "Or don't you like school girl outfits."

"Not particularly. I didn't like them when I went to school. The skirts always look to be too short, like the girls were advertising."

"That's another point of the skirt," Spike pointed out. "To make sure all the good ones find mates." He stood up. "I think I'll go wank off to those." Wesley made a distressed noise and kept him from stealing them. "Fine, I've got a good picture of it in my head," he grumbled as he went up the stairs. Buffy got up and stalked him to beat him up, like he knew she would. They both needed a good fight.

Angel looked at the photos again. "We should put them into Dawn's scrapbook."

"We should," Wesley agreed, heading for the kitchen to ask Cordelia where it was. She had made it while they had been bored a few months ago. "Angel suggested these go in the scrap book."

"It's in my desk, in the bottom drawer, so is the rubber cement," Cordelia said before popping another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. "How long did it take Spike to go all eww over it."

"Just now," he said with a smile. "Buffy went to pummel him." He headed out to her desk, sitting down to add the pictures to the book. He even made captions and put the date for her.

Oh, Dirt.

Greg walked his wife into his office, sitting her in the corner. "I can't let her go yet," he said when someone else walked in.

"That's understandable," Brass agreed. Greg looked over at him then grabbed his jacket to check. "Thought it was someone else?"

"Usually Sarah's lying in lurk for me," he said as he patted down the pockets. He found his old roll of Breath Savers and popped one as he put on the jacket. "What file did you need, Detective? I got nearly everything lined up when I popped in last night."

"I need you to look at something," he admitted, handing over the file he was carrying.

Greg sat down on a stool, reading through the short notes. It was on his lab. "Huh." He looked at his wife. "Did you know the US had spy satellites they used in the UK?"

"No, I didn't," she admitted, coming over to look over his shoulder. "Hey, they caught us going in before our shopping trip."

"Look at the next one," the detective said, leaning against the counter. He waved Nick off. "They also caught you disappearing."

Greg and Emilia looked at the next picture. The last one had most of their group in it, this one had most of the same group, with someone walking in through the wall to Diagon. They hadn't caught the portal in the picture at all. The couple shared a look, then Emilia closed the door with her wand. "That's our speciality shopping area."

"I figured it was something like that. You've got an appointment later with the people who want to ask you about that. We think that they're your kind but we're not sure. But I do know they took over your break-in." He waved a hand when Greg tried to hand back the folder. "That's what they sent us. Grissom thought it was some sort of portal, like that portkey thing."

"Actually, an arch opens up but it's not photographable," Greg said quietly. "Did anyone think to do a sweep for electronics in here?"

"We tested out the field equipment and found one on your computer itself," Brass admitted. "Grissom was not happy, it came from our storeroom." He straightened up. "So you've got some time off tonight for that interview. Grissom's in the field looking at a buried body, he's in bug heaven at the moment. Siddle and Brown are with him. Catherine is working on her baby case and Stokes is up the hall waiting on you. You'll probably have some rush samples soon."

"That's fine," Greg agreed. "Thank you for telling us."

"I figured telling you would get this solved faster," he pointed out. "The longer this goes on the more stress the unit has." He and Greg shared a look.

"I'd never endanger the unit," Greg offered.

"I know, kid, that's what makes this so miserable. You're a genuinely nice guy. Not like some. Oh, you've got a voicemail. Catherine was switching it over earlier and I overheard." He opened the door and left them alone.

Emilia kissed Greg. "We'll go in together," she promised. He wrapped his arms around her, resting his head against her chest. "It'll be all right. If we have to, we could go back and help Severus teach."

"I'm sure he'd enjoy that," Greg said dryly. Nick coughed. "Sorry, post-vacation separation anxiety." He smiled at his wife as he let her go. "Go find someplace to wait on me." She tweaked his nose and left him alone. "What do you have for me?"

"Soil." He held up a small baggie. "There's something off about this. It smells funny."

"Okay. I've got three samples to run first but I can start it filtering." He took the baggie and measured some out over a filter, then poured in some sterilized water. He let that filter through while he started his first swab running in the computer. "You can go grab some coffee."

"I've had nearly a pot."

"Then find the bathroom, it'll be about ten minutes," Greg told him.

"Okay. What's going on? I know the Feds took your break-in."

"We're not sure yet," Greg admitted. "We'll be talking to them tonight." He started the second swab as soon as the first's printout came out. He laid the remains and the paper on top of the file so they could be kept together. "Ten minutes."

"Got it. I'll join Emilia waiting for the bathroom."

"Cool." Greg smirked at his back as he got back to work. At least he was liked and appreciated, even if he couldn't get out in the field.

***

Greg looked at the person who joined them at the table in the conference room. He had already done the anti-listening charms. The Feds had even come down to the Police Station. "What's the problem?" he asked quietly. He didn't want to appear threatening and the guy already looked spooked.

A woman opened the door and coughed. "This has been reassigned," she said, handing him a piece of paper. "Send your file to me tonight," she told him. He nodded and left it to her. "They hate the strange things," she noted as she closed and locked the door. "I'm Miss Perkins. I'm the closest thing we get to a Ministry around here, kids. I'm the real X-Files department." Greg grinned at that, shaking her hand as she sat down. "Now, I'm a wandless so I'd like the truth. I know you're both wizards of the wand sort."

"We are," Emilia told her. "I'm also a consort veela."

"Ah. The counseling notes." She nodded and pulled out a steno pad to make notes on. "That's the first explanation I needed. The next is the traveling?"

"We're involved in the anti-war effort and most of our friends are over there," Greg said honestly. "Plus they were guarding my spouse after the incident with my labcoat."

"What did they do to your labcoat?" Miss Perkins asked, writing that down as well. "As a matter of record, do you portkey or apparate?"

"I do both," Greg told her. "Emilia's not supposed to apparate unless it's an emergency. She's pregnant." He leaned forward. "We're still not sure who did it but someone put a fetus, a very bloody one, into my smock pocket." She shuddered. "Hence her taking a longer vacation and me going over to visit her every chance I got."

"All right. Do they have customs over there for that sort of thing?" Emilia shook her head. "Didn't think so." She looked at them. "We've gotten your full personnel file. Gold?" He frowned. "I know it's made, by you?" He nodded. "That's fine. I also noticed there was a complaint against one of the other workers who had broken into your lab?"

"Day-shift is all about the career," Greg told her. "I'm me and I'm not much worried about my career outside of getting into the field. He decided I must be evil because of that."

Miss Perkins laughed. "If only he knew what real evil was?"

Emilia nodded. "Definitely. Are we in trouble? We were shown those satellite pics."

"No, not in the least. They're saying it was a malfunction," Miss Perkins said, putting down her pen and looking at them. "We note things like this because we do have a few schools over here. Generally, the United States hasn't needed a full Ministry to handle their violations. They tend to tell on themselves when they do something stupid." Emilia opened her mouth so she held up a hand. "Not you two. Your mate's only done one dumb thing in over a year, and that was in the face of those Decency people who I'd like to eliminate. Personally, the Puritan wannabes give me the creeps." She smiled at them. "And the person there with you?"

"My boss. Half of my unit, and only on my shift, knows. Because we're so active in the fight and I'm holding our house as an escape sanctuary, my boss and a few others had to know. One's been oblivated a few times. One's had some of the knowledge removed when he didn't want to know. Grissom's pretty cool about most things. He understands and only wants to study us scientifically." Miss Perkins laughed. "He's a great guy but he is my boss and had to know."

"That's fine, as long as you trust him."

"My mentor made it very clear that I was going to be responsible for erasing memories if I had to. With one exception, I've done so. That one exception was after the break-in. The Brits did it for us."

"Which is perfectly understandable. They're much better at it than I am." She smiled gently at them again. "What do you still have to do?"

"First, we've got about six more months on my *interest payments*," Greg told her. "I've already dealt with that." She nodded. "We've told Penn since he's the top dog in town."

"I heard and I checked in with him. He'd like to see you both soon if possible."

"I'll call out tomorrow and talk to him," Emilia told her. "I've known him now for a few years. The first time he accidentally summoned me into one of his stage acts and I came out of the box instead of the person who was supposed to. We had to stall the temporal movements for the room to fix it. He's pretty understanding."

"Good. We like it when you older ones can handle yourself. I know Mr. Saunders was one of the unfortunate ones who had to transfer out of the country. Hogwarts?" He nodded. "Do you think that's a viable option with the present situation?"

"I think we made a good impression," Greg told her. "I'm sure Dumbledore wouldn't care to admit foreign students again. As for the war...." Someone knocked on the door. "What?" he called.

Grissom unlocked it and held up his key. "Sorry to interrupt. Greg, underneath your seat." Greg searched and pulled up the small bug. "I know you probably blocked it, it came out in gibberish, but Sarah and Hodges wanted to know." Emilia gave him a look. "I've already reminded them about people eavesdropping on Federal Agents." He looked at Emilia. "There's a car here to take you to an appointment?" She frowned more but stood up. "It's from one of the local hotels. I'm assuming it's a friend and Catherine said it was legitimate."

"Okay, I'll leave my pookie here. You make sure he does some work and I'll come jump him for dinner," she said, giving Greg a kiss. "You behave."

"I always try," he reminded her, grinning at her as she left. "Thanks, Grissom."

"Why don't you come in," Miss Perkins told him.

"Because the Sheriff is looking for me again," he said bitterly. "Greg, the Aberstone case?"

"I left two of the samples running against each other. That leaves three to go. You can check the printer if you want."

"Thanks." He closed the door and relocked it from the outside.

"Like I said, Grissom's pretty cool with everything." He shifted down some, slumping a little. "We're fighting the war inch by inch. A few of our friends are sticking close to the school but I couldn't because of work. That's why I'm running a sanctuary. We expect it to be solved this year."

"Excellent." She made a note of that as well. "We had been listening to their news people but apparently they were kept in the dark?"

"Former Minister Fudge wanted the glory for himself," Greg told her. "It came back during Harry's fourth year, just like he said."

"It?"

"We've seen him from afar during one battle. He's not human, he's more snake at the moment."

"Oh." She looked stunned. "I didn't know he had done that." She picked up her pen and made another note. "That's interesting. If we find anything useful, we'll pass it on to you so you can pass it back." She looked at him again. "Do you know Mr. Dumass? I noticed you were photographed with him."

"He's one of my new friends. He's chums with my school friends and we often take over his house for meetings. He was guarding my wife."

"I see. It didn't bother you, all those zombies?"

Greg chuckled. "I dare you to call them that to their faces." He smiled. "The Dumass clan had a thing about dying. They had everyone frozen the moment before death. Or I guess when it looked like they were going to die. Alex isn't doing that, his Grandmother is doing it. She had been a painting and wanted to come back."

"Interesting. So they're fully alive?" Greg nodded. "Hmm." She looked at him. "Do you think they're looking for the farther flung members?"

"I know they are. Des is running the project to chase them all down. She's also in charge of nagging everyone to have children to strengthen the family name again. Earlier this summer she threatened to remove one of Alex's nuts and use the seed it contained to give the family children. She's recently decided sperm switching was the best alternative I think."

"Wow. She's one focused woman."

"They used to be a huge family," Greg told her. "Them and the Snapes both were huge families with members who did nearly everything. She wants that back."

"What decimated them?"

"We think it was a flu epidemic. All Alex knew at the time was that it was a high fever, everyone at the house had caught it, and he had survived. He had to bury his whole family, what was left at the time, and then had to go back to school a month later." She took the listening device and dropped it into the pitcher of water. "That probably won't work."

"It'll cloud it." She made a note of that. "Is there someone over there that we could contact about such matters? Since we can't trust the press, who could we talk to about this resurrection spell?"

"You could write Des, she's at Dumass Glen still." She wrote down the address. "What's going to happen now?"

"I've officially taken over the investigation." She put down her pen and looked at him again. "A note will be made about all this. Nothing more will happen on your behalf outside of figuring out who broke into your house. We're pretty sure it was in relation to what was on your wife's laptop. We also think that the nasty surprise you received was from your day-shift people. It was simian and it had been miscarried from the Denver Zoo." She tapped her fingers on the table. "Please be more careful about going over there. We've had to deny a lot of spying rumors thanks to that satellite."

"If they weren't focusing it on our allies, then they wouldn't have to say anything," Greg pointed out. He felt a zinging pain and grabbed his forehead. "Ow." He took a few deep breaths.

"You've got the Sight?"

"Very mildly and only in relation to my personal safety." He looked up, his eyes watering. "Someone else knows. There's going to be a sweep. Someone's going to force us to work for them."

She reached over and took his hand, giving him a contact point outside of himself to focus on. "If they try, then you apparate your ass out of here," she told him. "The schools are safe. They can't use the kids. You, Mr. Boyle, and all of them apparate away and leave for your school." Greg nodded, calming himself. "You leave that problem to me, Mr. Saunders. Got it?" He nodded quickly. "It won't happen. If it does, then we're all fucked and the country will blow up. Call your wife and tell her." She put up her pen and notepad, standing up. "Thank you for the warning."

He took another calming breath. "I'm hoping it was a warning," he told her. "If not, they will go after the schools."

"They won't," she assured him. "The kids can blend into the woodwork very well because none of our communities are as separated out as the British ones." He nodded and she left.

Greg rested his head on the table, thinking about their exit strategy. One hand touched his arm, sending out a general alert to all the Banes. They had to know and Emilia would hear.

***

"Fuck!" Nick shouted, standing up from the table. Everyone at dinner looked at him. "Someone found out," he announced, looking at Derek. "Greg's Sight is only in relation to his personal safety. He saw a sweep."

Derek wiped his mouth off, considering it. "Then I want you in London, Nick. I want you to leave tonight and take Kat with you." He looked at Rachel, then at Kat. Then he looked at Nick. "You may have to tell them why."

Nick pulled his wand from his back pocket and put it onto the table.

"Ceremonial?" Rachel asked.

"Real," Nick told her. "There are two types, wandless, which would use it in a ceremonial way, or my kind. I use it as a focus." He took a deep breath. "Someone high in the government just found out we're real."

Rachel picked up her water glass, sipping slowly while she thought. "London House will be safer?"

"They can't get the Legacy," Alex told her. "What about me, Derek?"

"Wandless witches, especially those of the lower levels, would be less likely to be targeted," Derek assured her. "Your gifts aren't known about. Nick's could be found out and Kat is still having visions all the time."

"So pack, little one, we're heading out tonight. I'll get to teach you how to portkey."

"Is it dangerous?" Rachel asked. "You could fly. On a plane," she added when Derek looked at her. "Brooms are myths, right?" Nick shook his head. "No?"

"No, and you ride them handle first and straddling it, not side-saddle," Nick told her. He looked at Derek. "Should I call Sloan or are you?"

"You pack, I'll call him," Derek promised. He nodded at the ladies. "If you'll excuse me for a moment." He walked down to his office, turning on the Vidlink to London. "Get Sloan," he ordered. "Our house isn't secure." The person on the other end went running and William Sloan showed up a moment later, dressed in a tux. "Someone with the Sight among Nick's friends foresaw a sweep by the government over here," he said quietly. "I'm evacuating Nick and Katherine to you."

"That's fine. I'll have a plane there within two hours. There's one in Los Angeles at the moment."

"Thank you. Should I warn anyone else here?"

"Get word to those people from Sunnydale, Derek. They'll need to know too." He signed off so he could get things moving.

Derek looked up the number in the case then dialed it. "Hello, may I talk to Buffy Summers please?" He sat down, his free hand coming up to massage his forehead. "Miss Summers, this is Derek Rayne. You've never met me, but I was one of the two who investigated the Sunnydale explosion. Yes, from those people," he admitted with a faint smile. "No, there's something you need to know and I've been authorized to inform you. Someone high in the government now has proof that magic is real. Someone with the Sight foresaw a sweep and a hunt for all magic users. If that's what you want, that's fine. Please." He waited while someone else was put onto the phone. "Ethan," he said dryly. "You're working for good now?" He chuckled. "No, something worse. The government has proof of magic. Someone foresaw a sweep." He relaxed. "Thank you. Of course, if you need us. We're sending two of our people out as well." He hung up and called London again. "Tell Sloan that the group in LA doing the same work are sending three or four people as well, they're to go with Nick when he goes to the school." He hung up and took two aspirin with him when he went back to the table. "Now we wait," he told them. "We'll have a plane here in two hours, Rachel."

"Thank you, Derek." She walked her daughter out to their car, they could almost make the next ferry and meet Nick at the airport before departure time.

***

Blair Sandburg looked up from his reading, frowning at the ceiling. "Behave while I'm gone," he ordered his class, heading out to his office to get in on the chat going on with the other Banes. First though, he called Simon. "We've got a massive problem heading down the line," he said quietly. "The US knows. Someone high up." Simon spluttered on the other end. "I don't know if you know anyone but there are others." He relaxed at the calming words. "Yeah, I'll start emailing as soon as I'm out of class. Unless Jim wants to hack into my email and send one for me. Thanks, Simon." He hung up and told his brethren what he had just done. He had contacts all over the US. A number of them were Wiccans or other pro-nature magic groups. There was going to be a mass exodus, he knew there was. He went back to his classroom, gathering up the quizzes.

***

Xander heard the message and went running out of the library, heading up to the Headmaster's office. "Dumbledore, the US knows," he panted.

"Knows what?" he asked. His Defense and Potions teachers were next through the door, followed by the three younger, marked Banes. "What's going on?"

"Someone in the upper reaches of the US government knows that magic exists," Methos told him. "Gregory saw it."

Dumbledore stood up, his eyes wide. "Are they doing anything with it?"

"Greg saw a sweep," Snape told him. He shifted so Draco could walk out for a moment.

Ron shifted past him. "Greg saw a sweep and them coming for families to try and force them to aid the military. He was in a meeting at the time with the real X-Files person. She's a wandless."

Draco strolled back in. "I just received a floo from Wesley. They're evacuating Tara, Wesley, Ethan, and possibly Rosenburg tonight from LA heading here. Boyle's to bring himself and them up here along with the wandless witch he's taking with him." Snape looked interested. "She's fourteen." He looked at Dumbledore again. "I told Wesley to tell Nick to use the house, Xander." Xander looked at him and nodded, pulling him closer to hold. "It will be fine. The wandless can blend in better."

"I hope so," Xander said quietly. "Can't we do something about this?"

"They don't have a Ministry and we'll have to see what the community does," Methos offered. "They might handle it in-house. Right now, we need to prepare to gather those of us closer."

"Greg's at work," Snape said, touching his arm. He got a confirmation from him. "He's making plans. If they get twigged to, they're apparating out. Greg's putting most everything precious in his house into storage."

"That means our sanctuary isn't one anymore," Xander offered. "We'll need to find another one. Doesn't one of us have something in Canada?"

"Yes, but the heir took it over and they're fairly confused," Harry told him. "They were told lies about their parents. When he found out, he nearly had a breakdown so we can't count on that."

"Well, we've still got my house," Xander reminded them. He touched the marks on his arm, focusing on Nick Boyle's mark. He told him to evacuate everyone to his house. "Okay, he's bringing them there. Sev, we'll need Holly to meet with him. The Legacy knows her already." He nodded, going to do that. Xander got a sudden flash alert from his mother. "Boys, we may be staying here over the break. I'm not sure yet." They nodded. "Willow's not coming, she's refusing to leave. She ran out of the hotel and hasn't been found yet. If she does, Spike will bring her and everyone else if they revive the Initiative and go after the demonic. Oz may or may not come up. They're trying to find him."

"Which one was Oz?" Ron asked.

"Willow's ex-boyfriend," Draco told him. "Buffy told me. He's a werewolf. A quiet little man with odd hair." He looked at Dumbledore. "You need to tell someone."

"Indeed. Out. Tell me what the plan is so we can integrate it. Mr. Dumass, make sure your family is on high alert. This would be a very good reason for Voldemort to attack your house."

"Then he dies faster," Xander said firmly. "Des isn't leaving the house anytime soon and she wanted to *talk* with him about what he had done to Sev." He walked his crew out, going down to tell Dawn, Luna, and Ginny. Ron went to call his mother and warn her, and so his father could spread it around the lower levels of the Ministry. Harry went to think and help Methos plan. Xander and Draco gathered the girls and took them to a quiet classroom. Xander looked at the three girls. "We've got something important to tell you and it's not great news," he told them.

"Is everyone all right?" Dawn asked. "All the Banes and everyone?"

"At the moment," Draco told her.

Xander took a deep breath. "Someone in the American government has proof magic exists." The girls all grabbed each other. "We're doing an evacuation of all Banes and magic users we know over there. Their own schools are being warned."

"Buffy?" Dawn asked.

"Is staying to help any others over," Draco told her. "Her, Spike and Angel, plus the non-magic people in the group are staying unless and until they come after the demonic."

"That means we're getting Luna's men and Tara," Xander finished. "They'll be at my house in a few days." The girls nodded. "We're not sure what's going on yet but we'll deal with it however we have to."

"Yes, Xander," Dawn agreed, trusting him. He always had good plans. "Can we go see Tara and them?"

"We'll arrange it," Draco promised. "The only bad thing is that Rosenburg isn't coming."

"But she's magicless anyway," Luna said quietly. She got free of Ginny's clutch. "There's every chance that she'll be fine."

"There is," Xander agreed. "The person who saw it saw a sweep happening. That means that the boys in nice suits are going to go around knocking on people's doors and conscripting them. If she's caught, even though she's magicless, they'll probably want her until she's no longer useful." He took a deep breath. "Wesley said she ran out before they could contain her."

"That's fine," Dawn said. "She made her decision and she can come back and ask for help if she needs it." They all nodded. "What should we do?"

"Prepare, it may get really messy," Xander told her. "Both you and I are listed as American citizens. The Ministry may have a solution for that though." Dawn walked over and hugged him. "I'm sorry this year is so rotten for you," he said calmly, patting her on the back. "We'll fix it, Dawn. As much as possible and as soon as possible."

"Yes, Xander," she said quietly, letting herself cling to him. He was her rock of calm now.

"There's a young girl coming," Draco told them. "She's fourteen. She's wandless if anything and Nick is bringing her. She may be at that house in London or she may be in ours. We don't know yet."

"Philip's mentioned her, said her name was Kat," Xander offered.

"He mentioned her to us," Ginny admitted. "Did Ron tell our parents?" Xander nodded. "Good. Then I'm going to go make a list of what I can do to help. Let us know if you need anything." The boys nodded so she drug the girls off to brainstorm with them.

Xander and Draco shared a long hug. "It'll be okay," Xander told him. "This will complicate the war but it's not the worst that could happen."

"I know," Draco agreed. He let Xander calm himself by comforting him.

***

Philip looked up from his reading, frowning as the message hit his marking. "Shite," he hissed, cleaning up his work area and heading outside to make a call. He called London directly since they were still watching over him. "Sloan please," he said. "Yes, is it." He hummed as he waited for the hold music to end. "Sloan, it's Philip. What do you need?" Another message hit his tattoo. "No, Alex Dumass said we can use his house, including Kat and Nick. Yeah, that's fine, I'll vouch for him. Sure. You should probably call your schools." He smiled and relaxed. "You're sure? That's fine then. I'm here if you need me." He hung up and went back inside, tracing down the rumors of a way to cancel a blood resurrection.

***

The twins gave each other horrified looks, then looked at their wife, who was looking stunned. "Shit," one of them said, summing it up nicely.

"We'll have guests probably," Tipsy announced. "I'll need to borrow some of the Dumass house elves." She forced herself to stay calm. Xander's message was a gift in itself. She grew calmer with each breath. "It'll be fine," she assured them. "We can handle this, even if Des doesn't want them in her house."

"Des wouldn't dare turn them away," Fred told her.

"She's not like that," George agreed. He looked at his twin. "Want to call mum?"

"I'm sure Ron already has," Fred pointed out. "Personally I want to owl Percy anonymously."

"No, you'd better sign your names to this one. The current Minister needs to know first," she instructed. "We might have to do something about this."

"The goblins have a memory charm with a trigger," Fred offered.

"Possibly, but things sent to high government officials are opened by others first," she pointed out. She picked up her glass and threw it. "We did not need this right now. The war is too close to coming to a head." She stood up, starting to pace. "Write your brother, one of you call Des and see if we can borrow a house elf. Tell her we can put up one or two people if they need it." They went their separate ways. She calmed herself again. This was a horrible thing.

Fred knelt in front of the fire. "Percy Weasley," he said, waiting until his brother's head appeared. "I know you don't want to talk to me but this is important, Percy," he said at the start of the complaint. "Someone in the US government has proof of magic. Someone, one of our friends, foresaw a gathering so they can be used by them. You need to warn people in the Ministry."

Percy's mouth opened and closed a few times. "Are they sure?"

Fred nodded. "The person who saw it has a ninety percent rating and only sees things related to his own security. He saw a sweep and being penned up. We're getting our American friends over here in the next few days."

"I'll tell the Minister personally," Percy promised, leaving. He ran out of his office and down the hall as fast as he could. Damn his reputation, this was too important to care. He jogged into the Minister's office, not bothering to knock. "We've got a very bad problem brewing and we're being used as an escape point," he announced. The Minister blinked at him. "One of the twin's friends knows someone who has visions. Ninety percent right and only about his personal safety." The Minister of Magic made 'get on with it' hand motions while he sipped from his mug. "He foresaw the Americans gathering all their magic users to use them for the good of their government. They're evacuating." The Minister carefully put down his cup and stood up. "The twins called me personally. I don't know their source, but whichever one it was looked horrified. They may be able to lie but not about this."

His father walked in. "Good, I'm not the bearer of bad news," Arthur said with a faint smile. "We're already evacuating all the Banes and everyone that knows."

"Holy Merlin," the Minister said, sitting down again. "They have proof?"

"That's what Greg thinks. He saw that they had information, proof would be necessary to start off something that major though. He saw a sweep, like Stalin's, only they're to be used instead of killed immediately."

The Minister of Magic nodded. "Thank you. I want a full report, Weasley, from whomever I don't care." He looked out his window. "What about the Legacy, do we know anything about those twerps?"

"We do," Arthur admitted. "One of the Banes evacuating is one of them. He's bringing himself and a young lady who is powerful enough to gain notice, even though she's a wandless."

Percy looked at him. "Banes?"

"I'll tell you some other time, Percy." Arthur looked at his boss. "Alex Dumass is their friend and he's offered them his house for now. We need to let the other schools know. Greg was in a meeting with a wandless witch when he had it and he told her."

"Shit, this will be an immigration nightmare," The Minister noted. He nodded. "All right. Arthur, I know it's not your department. I want a general list of everyone who's associated with you and yours. I know your son's one of them, that one auror's report said he outed himself." Arthur nodded. "If you can, I'd like some idea of who's going to go bad and how powerful they are."

"That's easy enough. Ethan Rayne is the only chaos person coming with them but he's said he's willing to fight with Xander against the Dark Lord. He doesn't want him around either." He suddenly smiled. "I just thought of something." The Minister looked at him, making that same 'get on with it' hand motion. "Last year, when Alex was down with that horrible case of the flu, his mother came to him. She's demonic now you know." He sat down, still smiling. "Something over vengeance if I remember right. She said her Lord and Master didn't want him winning either."

"Oh, my," the Minister said, brightening up. "How wonderful. Plus, we've got Callahan back again as well." This positively brightened his day. "That is wonderful, Arthur, thank you. You and your son go and work on this problem." He shooed them off. "I'm going to make a few calls then get soused."

"Yes, sir," Percy said primly, following his father out. He put a hand on his arm to stop him. "Banes?" he asked again.

"A group of students that were in the years around your mother and my times in school. They helped fight in the first war, son. Now they've recruited some younger members, including your brother Ron." He got free. "They're handling themselves." He walked off, going to call the school to talk to Professor Snape. He could get him the list just as easily and poor Alex would probably be stressed.

***

Draco stepped out of the floo and into the house, looking at everyone in the kitchen. "I need to see everyone, it's bad news," he told Aunt Cordy. Her eyes went wide. "Now, especially Des." She nodded and hurried to find everyone, bringing them back. He took a deep breath. "Gregory saw the Americans doing a sweep for magical people to use them."

"But they'd have to have proof," Des pointed out. Draco looked at her and she went pale, grabbing onto the back of a chair. "They have proof of magic?"

"We know they have information, we're assuming they've got proof," Draco agreed. "We're evacuating part of the LA group and some of the Banes. Greg and Emilia are coming last because of his job." He smiled at her. "Xander volunteered the house. So far we know Tara, Ethan, and Wesley are showing up along with Nick Boyle and a young female charge."

"Of course they're staying here, it's the safest place outside the school," Xander's sister Katya said.

Des swatted at her. "Hush." She looked at Draco again. "How many?"

"For right now, we only know about those five. Most of the other Banes are nearby already. Nick and his young female may or may not be staying at that place in London."

Des nodded. "That's fine. I'll accept him offering the family's help without asking this time."

Draco shrugged. "He only offered them a place to sleep as far as I know," he said with a smile.

Aunt Cordy snorted. "Yes, because we'd abandon them if something happened, Draco. Have some sense, boy." She stood up, looking around the kitchen. "I need a shopping list," she announced. "Be sure to put Alex's tea and cream on there or else he'll throw fits. We'll send some up to the school for him." The house elves rushed around to do that. "Five?"

"So far," Draco agreed. "Sandburg said he was emailing his friends to warn them, but they're very close to Canada. If they come after Greg and Emilia he said he's coming here as well."

"That's fine. We can handle those numbers," Des told him. "Tell my boy to ask first next time."

"Of course," Draco agreed, smiling at her. "At least it's not strangers."

"No, they're not," Des agreed. "They're his friends and he's always done this to us. He knew a big family who had a fire and he invited over once. Twenty-six people and only the basement free." She smiled at him and walked over to give him a hug. "When should we expect Luna and Dawn?"

"Probably this weekend. We don't have a game." He gave her an extra squeeze because she was like the mother he had always wanted. "I'd better get back. We managed to make the Headmaster frown and panic with this news." He tossed in some floo powder and headed off again.

Des looked at her relatives. "You handle this, I'm going to London to talk to that chippy Sloan." She went to change clothes and gather her cloak for the trip.

***

Greg walked into Grissom's office and shut the door. "Sheriff, I need him for a moment."

"Can it wait, Greg?" Grissom asked.

"No." The Sheriff smiled and left for a moment. Greg locked the door and charmed it against listening. "I just had a vision." Grissom opened his mouth. "I know, not the most scientific. I only get them when my personal safety is in jeopardy. Someone in the government knows."

"Knows what?"

"Knows about what I can do," Greg told him. "Knows that there are people who can do magic specifically. They may not know personally about me yet."

Grissom frowned. "What did you....see?"

"There's a sweep coming. Nice guys in tailored suits and lots of papers saying we're not human enough so we're conscripted."

"All right. Are you leaving now?"

"No, but I am taking precautions. Emilia and I will leave if and when they come. We'll be leaving from wherever we're standing at that moment in time. Hiding is not an option then." Grissom nodded. "If we have to, we'll be at that number I gave you. Alex agreed we could shack up at his place for now. I'm moving all my stuff into storage tonight. Magical storage that can and will move with me."

"That's fine, Greg. I agree totally. You should leave and definitely send your wife ahead if there's the slightest danger to either of you. I'll put you on administrative leave for medical matters if you have to go. That will give you six months in case you can come back."

"Thanks, Grissom." He walked over and gave him a quick hug. "If I do have to leave, I'll miss you the most." He walked out, heading back to his office. He found Catherine waiting on him and gave her a hug. "It'll be okay."

"Why wouldn't it be?" she asked.

He looked at her. "Someone knows. Someone in a suit."

"I'm sorry, Greg. Send us a postcard if you have to go," she told him, giving him a real hug. "It'll be okay. Have you told Grissom?"

"I just came from there." He held up her file. "I've got two ahead of you, one of which is running and one's nearly ready. Give me half an hour?"

"That's fine," she agreed. "We'll definitely miss your speed and style if you have to suddenly disappear. What about the house?"

"I'm packing up our stuff into magical storage. It'll go with us." He grinned. "It's pretty handy."

"I'm sure it is," she agreed. She watched him work, she didn't have anything she could do until this was done. "What about Emilia?"

"She's still in the car," he told her. "Penn's gonna have a fit."

***

Emilia stepped out of the car and tipped the driver, heading inside to the front desk. "Penn sent for me," she said quietly. "I'm his counselor." She called security and they led her down there. "Easy," she ordered the one patting her down. "I'm pregnant." His hands immediately gentled.

"You are?" Penn asked, opening his office door. "Really?" He smiled at her. "How far along?"

"Not by much. I just stopped morning sickness." She walked inside and nodded at the door. "Close it. It's bad news." He closed the door and locked it. "Greg had a vision."

"He has them?" Teller asked from his desk.

"He does, and they're only about his personal safety." She looked at Penn again. "Ninety percent accurate." He winced, that was a great average. "He's only had five in the past and one was off by a day."

"What sort of bad news?" he asked, sitting her on the couch and sitting next to her.

"Someone in the big white house knows about us."

"Oh, fuck me," Penn said, eyes wide. "Is he sure?" She nodded. "Okay, then I'll start spreading it around. We may all be taking a quick vacation."

"You may need to do more than that," Teller pointed out. "Are you and he leaving?"

"Not yet. His people need him," she said dryly. "We're bringing emergency portkeys with us wherever we go. We don't care if we're in the middle of the Forum Shops, we're leaving from right there." She smiled. "He had it this morning and was in with a Miss Perkins." Both wizards snorted and shook their heads. "She knows as well. We're hoping someone will fix it."

"We can hope a lot," Penn agreed. He relaxed. "Now that the unpleasantries are out of the way, how are you feeling?"

"Much better now that I'm not sick every night." He snickered and gave her a pat on the shoulder. "What's up? You called the meeting."

"We wanted to know about the war. We never get any good information."

"As of right now, we think the final battle will be sometime this year. We're hoping winter in time to celebrate the holidays."

"Good," Teller agreed. "Can we help?"

"Honey, you're not a battle wizard," she reminded him, smiling at him. "You do much better over here. Myself and the others in our group are working with some aurors on this. We've also got Potter among us and being trained by us. Plus, Dumbledore added extra security to the school. Sandburg was up planting vicious plants. The defense teacher is even now laying more traps around the school with help from Ramvette and her boys."

"Oh, the twins," Teller said, grinning at her. "By any chance, do you have a catalog?"

"Not only do I have that, I have a direct link back to them," she said, touching her arm and sending a thought their way. That got a laugh and a 'nice to hear it's good news' message. She gave them where she was and he agreed to mail it. "They're mailing the fresh one. They've just agreed to move stores so they can expand."

Teller smiled. "That's good news at least."

"Oh, I've got news that will make you laugh. Greg and I got caught by spy satellite going into Diagon. They didn't see the archway, they thought we were walking through walls and disappearing."

Penn Jillette laughed, giving her another shoulder squeeze. "God Bless the US and their paranoid moments." She nodded. "Where are you registered?"

"Nowhere yet. I was going to do that this weekend with him but with this I think we're waiting for a few days."

"Perfectly understandable," he told her. "Tell me where so I can get the baby something inappropriate yet funny."

She kissed him on the cheek. "Just like you, dear." He grinned at her. "Now, what else can I help you with?"

***

William Sloan looked up as a woman in a cloak was led into his office, standing up. "Mrs. Dumass," he said, shaking her hand. He sat down once she did. "I must say, you look incredible for your age. Very well preserved."

"Yes, well, since the stasis lowered our body temperatures, we were able to come back without the seizures and the fevers that were killing us. It's easy when your family is frozen before death." She took off her gloves and put them on her lap, lowering her hood. "I suppose you've heard." He nodded. "My darling boy Alex offered everyone room in our house. Including those two of yours coming with his other friends. Nick and he belong to the same group now."

"I suppose that would solve some problems," Sloan admitted. "We've got two more coming from New York who'll need rooms here as well and we've only got three guest rooms. What about Katherine?"

"We have no qualms about the little wandless darling. One of the ones coming over is a lighter and is wandless. Very pure, Tara is."

"I see." He looked at something on his desk. "Maclay?" She nodded. "Very well then, I'll allow both of them to reside with you for now." He looked at her. "How are your defenses? Katherine gave up magic supposedly."

"Really? Alex apparently didn't know that. Of her own free will?"

"Her and her mother made a pact, but I believe this is enough to bend it for her."

"Then we'll only have her taught the protective uses," Des said with a small shrug and a smirk. "I'm sure we can keep Ethan away from her."

"Yes, what is your grandson doing with a chaos sorcerer if he's a protective person?" William asked, he had been wanting to know for a few months.

"Ethan was one of the few who saw my grandson for what he was when he was deaged."

"Oh." William grimaced. "They sent him *there* when he was helpless?"

"Yes, that is why Dumbledore and I will have a talk some day. Not only was he sent there after being deaged, he was sent there with shields that did not allow him to use his innate gifts. His mother is not pleased either." She stood up. "Since we have that settled, did you need anything from our community?"

"I tend to leave that side of my life alone," he told her. "I've kept up my protections but I hardly use my wand these days."

She smiled. "That's probably better. Being trained over there was probably not the sort of education you deserved. My boy was positively disgusted when he handled that Fyarl demon and the sixth years from the local school only knew stunning charms."

"That's it?" he asked. She nodded. "Well." He snorted. "My year learned them and all the other offensive in our seventh so we couldn't duel in the halls."

"Over here, a stunning spell is learned in the fourth year," she informed him. "Most of the offensive hexes are learned your first so you can duel in the halls. It lets you know which ones are the troublemakers who would study ahead and let's the rest defend themselves." She nodded a goodbye and put on her gloves as she walked out, apparating from the walkway.

One of the Legacy researchers walked into William's office. "She just disappeared into thin air."

"Her kind can do that," William noted. "That was Mrs. Destina Dumass. If she ever shows up again, I want to know immediately. It is very important." He looked at his man. "She is very powerful but a power in her own right. She is also the one shielding Mr. Boyle and Katherine. You can pass on that message when you get them through Customs."

"Yes, sir. Will I be bringing them back here?"

"For a few moments, then they'll be going to her house. Her grandson is a friend of Nick's and has generously offered to save us making up a new guest room." His man nodded and left. William considered calling Philip Callahan but decided he'd probably know anyway. Those two had some funny communication between them.

***

Xander dropped his portkey with a wave of his hand to get the feeling back into it. He had put too much juice into it. He'd know better on the way back. He walked up to the front door and knocked. "Hello," he said in English. "I need to see my brother, Justinius."

"And you are?" the older woman asked.

"His brother Alex. I have information he needs because it will impact some of your grandchildren, Sylvia." He stepped inside and smiled at her. "You don't remember me?"

"You look ridiculous in the school uniform," she said in disgust.

"I was called back to retake my seventh year so I could keep my consort calm and to protect the school. It was this or the ugly wool version." She snorted as she walked away, going to find her husband. Soon an old man with no hair appeared and Xander nodded at him. "We've got some major probs for any of your kids in the US," he told him.

"Alex?" Xander nodded. "I knew you were deaged, but I thought it went back to a decent age where you were an adult."

"I'm twenty," Xander told him. "I got deaged to five, put onto the Hellmouth in the custody of drunks forced together to watch over me, and learned better fighting skills from a Slayer."

"Holy damn," Justinius sighed. "Dumbledore?" Xander nodded. "Better you than me. Come this way." He let the boy into his study. "Why the uniform?"

"My consort is in his seventh year and since he's a consort veela, I'm needed beside him to keep him calm. Then we both got shoved into Hufflepuff to protect them in case the school is attacked." He sat down, looking around the study. It was nearly as nice as his own, even though they weren't very similar in style. "Sit, you'll pass out otherwise."

"I suppose I should," Justinius said. "No time for a family visit?"

"Let me get the bad news out first. My short term memory is shot recently," Xander told him. He looked from his older brother to his brother's wife, then back. "The US has knowledge, and possibly proof, that magic works. Someone high enough up that they're probably bringing it to the President personally." Justinius' wife's mouth fell open. "I know you've got at least one grandchild over there. You need to evacuate them."

"How do you know?" Justinius asked calmly.

"We have a friend who's a seer when it relates to his personal safety."

"Percentage?" Sylvia asked as she found a seat.

"Ninety," Xander told her, giving her a faint smile. "And he had the vision. He saw a folder, the information was on magic. Specifically on someone other than him, but we're pretty sure they know about him as well. Then he saw a sweep." Justinius' hand started to shake. "It was for use, not for death immediately," Xander said quietly. "We had to sedate Holly because she wanted to go over and evacuate some of her friends personally. Instead we helped her call them on someone's cellphone and they're spreading it back through their network and online before heading for Canada."

Sylvia took a deep breath. "We have two grandchildren over there, Alex."

"Then tell them to take a sudden vacation to Mexico or Canada," he ordered. "They can get out from either place. "Or even from the Carribean if they're inclined. Get them somewhere not US controlled."

"How do they know?" Justinius asked.

"I've only got a supposition," Xander offered. Justinius shrugged. "A few years back the government found out about demons. They started a special project aimed at capturing, testing, and turning them for use in the military." Justinius swallowed. "They were in Sunnydale as well. The Slayer and I, along with our friends, helped take them down. Before then, her Watcher was being bothered by a chaos person, an old enemy or lover - we've never been sure which. Anyway, he turned this chaos person over to the military." Sylvia shuddered. "Ethan was tortured for a while before he escaped."

"Ethan Rayne?" Justinius asked. Xander nodded. "He mentioned running into a member of the family over there." Xander wiggled his fingers and smirked at him. "I see. And this watcher was Rupert?" Xander nodded. "Did Rupert not think of how dangerous that was to the community?"

"Rupert wasn't thinking of much at the time. Our group was having problems at the time. Rupert had sworn off magic unless he needed it to stop an apocalypse. He thought he was giving an annoyance away," he said calmly. "Ethan was probably forced to perform somehow. I'm thinking that the file they have is Ethan's. If not, they've had one come up on the job, probably to save themselves, and this is the backlash."

"Poor Ethan," Sylvia said quietly, looking at her hands. "How is he?"

"He's doing okay. I've seen him a lot. Over the years he's alternately pissed me off horribly or helped me. Right now he's in helping mode. He moved to LA to work with Angel and Tara when Sunnydale imploded. He's helping me teach Dawn wandless magic for her own defense. Tara's taking over after that."

"He's written us about her," he admitted. "That and some girl named Luna?"

"Luna Lovegood. Her father runs the Quibbler."

"Oh." Sylvia started to chuckle. "He said she was a bit odd but very forceful and brilliant."

"She's a sixth year Ravenclaw." Even Justinius cracked a smile at that. "Ethan, Tara, and Wesley Wynham-Price are all coming over with a friend and someone he's protecting."

"Wonderful. We'll expect a visit then," Justinius said firmly.

"I've rebuilt the house, Jus. He'll be staying there and you can weather Aunt Cordy screaming at you the same as I can," he said dryly.

"What did Des want Holly for?" Sylvia asked.

"To help us with the war, to help us teach Dawn, and to mate with Sev."

"Sev?" Justinius asked.

"Severus Snape, cousin of ours?" Justinius gave him a long look and Xander nodded, starting to smirk again. "They suit each other. He's not as evil as everyone thinks and she's not as nice as she pretends to be. They're both at the school if you wanted to pop around there."

"I see," Justinius said, licking his lips as he looked at his wife. "We'll have to do that."

Xander snickered. "Owl Holly and have her set it up. They're fighting it by staying friends. Though she has been showing him her sort of magic. Luna and Dawn are both using her as a second teacher after Ethan." He leaned forward. "I really would evacuate your kids, just in case. Have them take a sudden illness or something. If it's fixed then it's all good. If not, then they can run faster. We both know the 'Christian' idea of witches."

"We do," Justinius agreed. He looked at his wife. "Go call them." She nodded and went to do that, using their muggle phone numbers. "Dawn, the Slayer's sister?" Xander nodded. "I had heard you adopted the girl."

"She's been accepted as our youngest sister," Xander told him, getting comfortable. "Des adores her and Cordy likes to dress her in naughty clothes."

"Is she the same Dawn that we've seen in the papers?" he asked. Xander nodded. "How did those two meet?"

"Ron's one of my apprentices. So is Harry but Harry's going to play pro for a bit so Dawn's not alone and so he can get it out of his system. For that matter, Dawn and my consort, Draco, are both very good researchers. I've got my own crew for the next few years."

"No life of leisure?" he asked his little brother.

"Draco and Ron both want to take a long vacation once this year is done. I'll be figuring out our next target after that. Maybe Central America." He shrugged. "We'll figure that out soon enough I guess."

"You're happy with this renewed life?" Justinius asked, looking his little brother over. "You look calm. You're not vibrating anymore."

Xander gave him a gentle smile. "My Draco keeps me calm. Dawn keeps me young, and Ron is so much like Bill was it's not funny. He and Harry are a laugh a minute most of the time. This makes me happy. I adored teaching Bill when I had him. Now I've got his little brother and he's just as good, if also just as stubborn. Ron's even offered to take Dawn's adoptive last name so the kids will be Dumasses so Des leaves me alone. "

"Then I'm happy you found peace," Justinius said, giving him a faint smile. "Try to stay out of the press when you cheat."

"Oh, I have no need of cheating. My Draco's like my Valena was."

"Another veela?" he asked. Xander nodded. "What's his family curse?"

"Monogamy." Xander beamed. "He's nearly eighteen, Jus, he keeps up very well and initiates as often as I do."

Sylvia cleared her throat from the doorway. "Should we be meeting this veela of yours?"

"Come over this summer if we're still standing," Xander offered. "I'm hoping I don't have to rebuild the house again."

"I'm surprised the heap fell in," Justinius joked.

"From what the goblins reported, it was a lightening strike," Xander told him. "Burned totally, but thankfully Dumbledore had looted it before it burned." Justinius looked at him and he nodded. "Seven months after I was deaged."

"Interesting," his brother noted. "Has Des talked with him about that?" Xander nodded, giving him a very smug look. "I'm sure he's very sorry then." They shook hands. "Tell Holly to expect an owl and to be more forthcoming than 'I'm here and the school is chilly', all right?"

"I will. We just put in a new heating system. The school was downright freezing last year."

"Did you visit your consort often?" Sylvia asked.

Xander nodded, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Very often and Slytherin got very tired of us whenever I was around," he assured her. She swatted at him. "What? My consort's a beautiful boy." He pulled out his wallet to show her. "That's Draco and Dawn. Ron and Harry are hiding behind them." She watched as Ron peeked around in the picture and waved. "You too, Harry." Harry looked over Dawn's shoulder and grinned, then hid again. "That's my crew. The new little sister, two apprentices and my consort." He took the picture back and showed it to his brother.

"You married a Malfoy?"

"Yeah. I started Right of Reparation against Lucius for stealing Harry and the Weasleys. He's the last in my line. Lucius committed suicide instead of facing me." He put the picture away and gave his sister-in-law a hug. "You come over this summer if we're all still standing. Dawn will want to meet the straighter side of the family."

"I'm sure we'll enjoy it," Justinius said, letting him out the front door. He watched as his younger brother remade his portkey and headed off again. Then he slammed the door and looked at his wife. "You thought I was overreacting?"

"Well, yes," she admitted, giving him a hug, "but it seems like everything is going fine so far. Alex seems to have everything under control for the moment."

"That boy is a menace and he's involving our family in the war." She gave him a gentle kiss. "Don't try to calm me down."

"You know Des, dear, she probably jumped in and sounded a battle cry. That whole side of the family is like that. I'm sure Alex had a lot of fun fighting on the Hellmouth." He looked down at her, giving her the most incredulous look. "He probably did even if his life was in danger. You remember how he used to be."

"That's why he took up curse breaking, because the danger was enough to satisfy him," Justinius agreed, calming down. "Des probably did initiate all that mess over there. I'm glad our daughters don't have to deal with that."

"Beside Holly and I do so want to hear from her. She's barely mentioned this man at all."

He gave her a gentle pat to the back. "I'm sure he'll treat her fine or I'm sure he'll die for it," he promised her, going back into his study to figure out where everyone was and who would be in the most trouble. Alex only ever brought him bad news since they didn't like each other. This had the possibility of being horrible. His younger sister walked in and he waved her over, letting her help him.

"Was that the Amazing Dickman?"

"Yes, it was Alex," he said patiently.

"Did he bring his toy as well as bad news?"

"No, he only showed us a picture of Mr. Malfoy. He seemed to smile a lot more than I thought his father had been capable of." He pointed at a branch on the family tree. "What about them? The Yanks now know about magic being real."

"He's a stage magician, he's probably camouflaged. He's not one of the better ones anyway." She pointed at another branch. "What about Sylvia's side? They're wandless."

"I'm sure they can hide," he promised. "She'll have warned them anyway." He looked at her. "Have you ever met Ethan Rayne?"

"Oh, yes, I have," she said dryly. "Alex brought him back to house to help him with his 'crew'," she said, doing the finger quotes. "His apprentices, his toy, and the thing he adopted as one of us."

"Thing?" Justinius asked, starting to frown. "She's the sister of a Slayer."

"Who's now a vampire." She pulled a chair over and sat down. "Dawn is a construct. She's the bloody Key, Justinius. They gave her to her sister for safe keeping and made her precious to Alex while he was over there. Hence the family growing by one magical creature and a Weasley."

Justinius considered it. "Well, her usable energy is locked up for another millennium. I suppose, as long as she's settled in, that she'll be fine with them. They will protect her from anything short of marriage with the Weasley son." He shrugged. "I'm sure she fits in over there very well. Do you know if she plays sports?"

"She joined her house team this year according to the gossip. She's a keeper and will play against her boyfriend next month."

"Ah." He smiled. "Excellent news. I'm sure he knows and can put up with her vagaries." He shrugged. "She's not really a sister to us."

"Everyone over there seems to think she is."

"That's why you're staying over here, Mel. You know you're one of the few reasonable ones in the family." She nodded. "Has Father said anything recently?"

"I think he and mom are having a few moments. I've seen her around a few times. Either that or she's planning with Grandma Des about how to make more Dumasses from Alex's side of the family."

"Interesting," he agreed. "How, since he's with a man?"

"She was talking sperm relocation." She shifted uncomfortably. "I don't care as long as I don't have to listen to the heathenish creatures squall."

"You'll always have a place over here, Mel," he said calmly. "You won't have to associate at all. You can even change your name to that of my new one so you don't get any backlash from what Des has done. That way you can find a decent spouse and settle down a bit more comfortably."

She shrugged. "I haven't met any prospects that I think are suitable."

"I can fix that problem," he assured her. "We'll have a small party to welcome back the grandchildren." He smiled at her. "Help Sylvia find you something appropriate." She nodded and went to do so while he wrote out letters to his relatives. This once he would send them via floo.

***

Xander walked into the school and ran into his niece, who was lurking in wait for him. "Your parents are fine, still pissed that I'm still in existence," he told her, giving her a smile. "They all but said I'm a bad influence because you don't write detailed notes and you haven't mentioned Sev yet. I was told to threaten you," he said as she walked him up to the Headmaster's office. "Your mother gave me a look like I was pond scum, like usual. Justinius had that whole 'no touching in a friendly manner' thing going again. Mel was in the house somewhere because I could hear her throwing a fit with a house elf for breaking something of hers." They came to the Headmaster's portal. "Other than that, it went well enough. They were socially polite. I showed a picture of Draco and bragged on all my kids. Mel has probably told him about Dawn by now so it's probably safe to include her in the letter. Be sure not to mention me or they'll send a Howler back," he reminded her dryly. "Any other questions?"

"Is the house still standing?"

"I didn't touch the house," he promised.

"I meant ours. You sent Draco to tell Des?"

"It was that or send you to tell your father. He expects bad news from me, it's all I ever tell him since he hates to look at me." He grinned again. "I think he's jealous and needs the stick removed from his asshole but that's just me." He looked at the statue. "Creeping Twizzlers." It spun open. "Want to walk me up?"

"No, I'd better write them a letter. They didn't like my one on how cold it was?"

"They said, and I quote, 'I'm here and the school is chilly', unquote, was not very descriptive or informative." He gave her a pat on the arm. "Try harder, I'm sure you can get it shorter." He walked up the stairs, heading in to report. "Justinius is telling his family," he reported.

"Good," Dumbledore agreed, smiling at him. "Destina said that it was fine that you volunteered the family's help this time. You had always been like this. At least there were only five to seven this time and not twenty-six."

"Will she ever let me live that down?" Xander complained. "They were our neighbors, we should have helped them. Even if the house was full."

Dumbledore snorted. "I'm sure you enjoyed the chaos. Speaking of, when are they due in?"

"By tonight," Xander told him. "Nick can get to the house one way or another." Dumbledore nodded. "I'm taking the kids out this weekend to see their family."

"That's fine, try to keep Miss Lovegood in this time frame if you could. Her father seems to think she's getting a bit...wild."

"Luna? Leather girl?" He snorted. "Then he'd really have a cow if he knew what she had done already before meeting me." He waved. "I'm going to take a nap. Justinius is nap-inducing on the best of days." He went back to their room, going to lay down until lunch. His brother really was boring. It was like he sucked the air along with the fun out of everything. "I'm sure Mel will be very happy with him," he told himself. "They're the same sort and he'll force her to behave like a lady." He took off his shoes and laid down on the bed, robe and all, quickly falling asleep. This was the best part of his day. It didn't matter how badly he did in anything so he could skip with impunity. And he usually did skip history. And sometimes Herbology if he slept for too long.

***

Nick landed and pulled out his phone, dialing the muggle number Xander had given him for the house. "Des, it's me, Nick. We've landed. We'll have to check in with London and then we'll be up. We'll probably overnight it on the Knight Bus." He smiled. "No, I'm not sure if portkey will work on Kat. She's got some nature but she's given it up." He laughed. "I didn't know you could set a portkey that way." She gave him instructions. "Sure. I'll send her first. She's fourteen, about Dawn's height, has light brown hair. Got it. Thanks, Des." He hung up. "Through Customs, folks, then we'll head to the house." He herded everyone that way, confident because he had done this so many times in the past.

Kat looked at him. "What's a portkey?" she asked quietly.

"Means of transportation," he whispered back. "You'll like it, it's like an 'E' ticket ride." She giggled. Her turn was next so he let her go through, watching as she handled it like a pro. Then it was his turn and he cleared quickly as well. They walked into the terminal to find a Legacy Guardian chatting up Tara while he waited. "I see you've met everyone else." He looked around. "Ethan?"

"Said he needed something," Tara told him. "He said he'd catch up to us by the time we made it there."

"He can probably do that," Nick agreed. He looked at the Guardian, the enforcers of the Legacy. "London House?"

"Just for quick talk and then you can go to your lodgings," he said with a smile. "We've got more coming from New York in the morning so Mr. Sloan took you up on your generous offer to stay with your friend."

"Is he a nice guy?" Kat asked as she walked beside Tara with Wesley protectively behind her. Not even her mother could say anything about their protective natures. They made very good bodyguards.

"He's kinda an odd person but I think you'll like Xander," Nick told her.

"We're staying with Xander?" Wesley asked.

Nick grinned back at him. "Definitely. Plus, he said he'd bring Dawn and Luna up this weekend. Luna's apparently buying something to make Ethan quit smirking."

"That girl is going to drive me insane yet," Wesley muttered as he continued to walk. That private jet had been nice and he had gotten a short nap, but he was still fairly tired. "How long do you think this will take? I'd like to finish my nap sometime soon."

"Sloan shouldn't take more than an hour and I'll gladly send you via rapid transport," Nick promised as they exited the airport. Ethan was waiting on them. "That was quick."

"I only had to check to make sure that my emergency arrangements were going smoothly." He smiled at Kat, who gave him a 'get real' look. "Are you excited to be visiting a real wizard?" he asked quietly once they were in the minivan.

"Wizard?" she asked. Ethan nodded. "Nick, is he pulling my leg?"

"No, kiddo, that's only part of what makes Xander strange."

Tara patted her gently on the arm. "I've known Xander now for a while. He's a good friend and very protective. His whole family is great and they're very nice to us."

"Maybe the pranksters will be around as well," Wesley said dryly. "I'm sure that will liven up our lives for the next few days."

"Don't worry, Wes, you can take a long nap and settle in," Tara promised. "You can even have the time to acclimate yourself before Xander comes up this weekend." He gave her a grateful smile. She turned her head to look at Ethan. "Luna wanted me opinion of leather for her. Fair warning."

Ethan looked gobsmacked. "Innocent little Luna? My student Luna? In leather?"

Tara and Wesley both snorted and laughed. "Innocent?" Wesley asked. "The girl tied me up and used the rope to put a bridle on me, including a rope bit. She is no more innocent than Spike is!"

"She's innocent compared to me," Ethan snapped. He glared at his boyfriend. "We should encourage her to find something less tantalizing. She is rather young for leather activities."

"I think she was talking more a leather bustier, not a sling," Tara said patiently. "Though, you never know what's going on in Luna's mind." Wesley nodded. They had learned that lesson very well. Buffy and she had become *great* friends during their stint back in history.

"Is this Luna person living at the house?"

"No, she's friend of the family's," Tara told her. "She hunted and stalked Wes and Ethan until they had to give in." She grinned. "Another odd, yet very likeable person."

"My mother probably wouldn't approve," Kat said carefully.

"Kat, honey, your mother doesn't believe in magic even when I did stuff in front of her," Nick offered. "She's a little too straight to be in this battle."

"If you say so." She frowned and looked at him. "You know magic? Since when?"

Nick pulled his wand and created a small flower in her hair. "Since I came to school over here for it," he said smugly. "I came over with Philip. That's where I met him, during our sorting. He was the nervous and shy kid next to me in line. Kept muttering to himself about Church this and that."

"Xander said you were an import," Wesley noted.

"The American school I was supposed to go to sorta imploded under politics and stupid power plays. So a few of us came over here as exchange students. I came in with Greg and Blair. We were in Harry's dad's year."

"Wow," Tara said. "Small community."

"Very," Nick agreed. He looked out the front window. "Traffic at this time of night?"

"Sorry, sir, it's nearly the weekend." He pulled the minivan into another lane and took an exit, deciding the back roads would be quicker. These people were odd and the Legacy trusted them? He'd have to watch them so they wouldn't be able to warp the young lady. Her mother had called over to make sure she'd be safe. "Are you sure the young lady should be going with you?"

"Xander recently adopted a friend's little sister and she's Kat's age," Tara told her. "She'll be fine. We're in a big house and she'll have plenty of opportunity to do her homework in the library."

"The house as a library?" Kat asked. "Like the one on Angel Island, Nick?"

"They named an island after Angel, I'm impressed," Ethan quipped. Tara reached over and batted him. "Ow! Shrew."

"I'll tell Luna on you."

"Tell Angel on him, he'd lock him in the weapons cabinet again," Wesley suggested. "He never would have gotten out the last time if we hadn't had that blasted attack."

"Who's Angel?" Kat asked.

"That's one of those *long* stories," Nick told her. "Let's just say he's the one who proves that the dark can repent and pay for their sins."

"Oh." She grimaced. "Was he an assassin or something?"

"No, sweetie, he was a vampire," Tara told her. She looked stunned. "He still is, but now he's been cursed with a soul and told to repent or stay like that forever. He's the most brooding person on the face of the earth but he's a very generous soul most of the time. He took my group in after the Hell God tried to kill us all." Kat blinked a few times. "Like he said, a long story."

The Legacy Guardian stopped the car and looked at her. "You work with Angelus?"

She nodded. "He's running a PI firm in LA. He helps the hopeless. He's a Champion for the Powers."

"Oh, dear Lord, now I know you're going to warp the young lady."

"I'll make sure Philip comes to straighten her out," Nick promised. "Drive or I will. Wes will only get crankier." The Guardian looked at him so Nick slugged him, knocking him out. "Okay. Ethan, put him into the trunk area. I'll drive. Kat, if you want you can come up here and let them stretch out and I'll tell you everything you're going to be seeing, including about the talking paintings."

She moved up once the man was in the back, looking at him like he was insane. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Sure, kiddo, never better. But your mother probably wouldn't agree to this if she knew," he said with a wink. "It's really the safest place on earth outside of the school I went to." He restarted the car and they were off, heading for the London house. The map feature on the minivan told him where he was going so he wouldn't get lost.

***

William Sloan met them at the door, watching as his man was floated in by Tara's lifted hand and magic. "Hello," he said, smiling at them. "Did he hurt himself?"

"He was thinking too hard," Nick said dryly. "Tell Kat to trust me that Alex is a nice guy."

"He's a very nice, if a bit strange, fellow. You'll like his house," he promised her. "And if you don't, you can call us and we'll come pick you up." He smiled at everyone else. "Give me a few minutes with Mr. Boyle and we'll send you on your way again."

"I'm making a portkey," Nick said as he followed William to the office. He handed over Derek's faxed letter. "We got this on the plane."

William opened it and nodded. "The person who had the proof seems to have had an auto accident. We believe he may have went higher up the chain and we can't really kill that one." He handed it over. "Are you sure you want to stay with the Dumasses? It will be quite a shock for Kat."

"She'll be fine, I'll get Philip to come down." He read the letter, then chuckled. "I'm sure the President won't touch us but it is better to be safe than sorry." He handed it back. "Need anything else? Wes needs a nap."

"No, that's fine. Have Katherine call us in two days so we can check on her for her mother. She requested that we look out for her daughter when she personally called. Derek was amused at her breaking into his office to do so." He smiled as Nick walked out, then shook his head and groaned. "Poor Kat," he hissed. "She'll be shocked for days."

Nick walked back into the lobby and pulled out their plane tickets, turning them each into a portkey, making the last one special for Kat. "Okay, hold onto that," he said, handing it to her. "You'll go first. It's a long trip but you should be fine," he promised. "Tara's coming right after you and then Ethan and Wes before me." She nodded, taking hold of it tightly. She squeaked as the portkey took off. "Good, it worked." He handed out the rest, watching as they flew off, then he made his own because he was too tired to apparate. He landed in a field. "This is not where we're supposed to be," he announced. He laughed bitterly when he saw who was staring at him. "Oh, hey, it's the *bad* guy," he said fondly, pointing. "Look, Tara, it's the bad guy!"

Ethan and Tara looked at him and shook their heads. "Spike's worse," she told him.

"Nothing at all compared to Glory," Ethan agreed.

The cloaked figure laughed. "Really? And how would you know, you puny excuse for a chaos person."

Tara held up a hand. "I'm Tara, I'm from Sunnydale. Part of Buffy's crew." The cloaked figure took a step back, his snake nostrils flaring. "She tried to scramble my brains. That's what's wrong with me."

Wesley cleared his throat. "I thought it was all that fighting you did with Willow."

"True," Tara admitted. She looked at Kat, who was curled protectively against Wes' side. "I really wish I had a Bane marking at the moment."

Nick shook his head. "Oh, yeah." He touched his. "Sorry, kinda sleepy. It's the middle of the night at home." He sent out a 'come help us' message. Within two minutes, a very pissed off Blair and Philip appeared behind them, followed by Xander, Methos, and MacLeod, then followed by Harry and Ron. "Hi, guys, he hijacked our portkeys."

"Then he's fucked," Xander said bitterly. He looked at Philip and Blair. "What's wrong with you two?"

"We were learning a new language," Blair told him. "He interrupted our studies."

"Eww," Nick said, backing out of their way.

Blair pulled his wand. "Ennervate!" he shouted, casting it at the idiot, making him jump and flail. "Do you know what sort of mood you put me into?" he demanded.

"You took me away from the only pleasure I've had in eighteen years," Philip told him, pulling his own wand. "You have no idea what sort of pent-up frustration I hold." He pointed his wand at the few Death Eaters who hadn't been smart enough to apparate away when they had shown up. "Distendus Intestines." They all groaned and held their guts as they swelled and kept swelling.

Harry walked around Xander's protective shield, looking at his opponent. "Gee, it is him, Ron. Look, I told you he was more snake than human anymore." Ron joined him, side-by-side as always. "Think we should end his misery?"

"I'm not in misery," Voldemort hissed. "I am in glorious contentment!"

"You've got to be miserable if you look like that," Ron told him. "I'd kill myself if I woke up like that some morning. And you did that on purpose?" He looked at Harry. "We knew he was mental, but you never said he was that far gone 'round the bend."

Harry shrugged. "I don't get that much of him in my head," he admitted. "I thought he was only loony and homicidal because he was a mudblood himself."

"Take that back!" he shouted, pulling his wand. Harry already had his in his hand and Voldemort found himself retching into the grass as Harry's curse hit him. "Can't you do better than that!" he sneered between heaves.

"Sure I can," Harry agreed. "I'm just playing right now. Taking it back for all your victims, Tommy." He smiled sweetly. "How am I doing? Did you taint me enough to be in fear of me yet?" Voldemort roared as he stood up.

"Crucio!" a voice behind them said, making the Dark Lord duck and apparate away. "I've had enough of this. Potter, next time take a fucking nap!" Methos said angrily. Harry gave him a sheepish look. "Home, now," he ordered. "Every last one of you." MacLeod coughed. "And someone take him too, he grabbed on when I came." He went on muttering about people who played with their victims. What sort of fair play was that?

Kat looked up as they landed in front of a big house. "We're supposed to be here, right?" she asked Philip. He smiled and nodded. "Are they sane?"

"That was the Dark Lord, Kat, he kills my kind because he's one of us."

"Think of it as a hate crime that keeps spreading," Nick told her. "She was worried that Xander was odd." He patted Harry and Ron both. "Nice work, guys. You had me believing that you had snapped."

Ron grinned. "Thanks. I figured it irritates my older brothers, why not him?" He led the way inside. "Des, we're home," he called.

She came out of the library. "All of you?"

"No, some of us were in the library," Blair admitted, giving her a hug. "We're the escort crew. Nick's portkey got hijacked."

"Well, shit," she said angrily. "Boyle!"

"Wasn't me! I made it for the kitchen."

"Fine. Inside, now," she ordered. "The rest of you fly off somewhere else." They all disappeared, except Methos and MacLeod. "And you are?" she asked him.

"This is a Scottish hero. Introduce him to McGonagall," Xander offered. Methos broke down in unmanly giggles, shaking his head at that idea. He looked at his grandmother. "I checked the portkeys, he did make them all for the kitchen but it was hijacked. That means I'm going to need the Ancient Dark Arts notebooks I made. Do you know where you shelved them?"

"In your study, just under your school books," she told him. He blew a kiss and went that way. "Dawn called, she was worried about you."

"I'll see her in a mo," Xander called, coming out with a small stack of journals. "Harry, Ron, come on, we'll go back to my room." They nodded and followed him. "Tara, we'll be back Sunday. Tie Wes and Ethan up for Luna."

"Sure thing," she called after him. She waited until everyone else had cleared out. "That was Xander," she told Kat. "He fought beside the Slayer in Sunnydale. He's another *long* story begging for popcorn while it's being told."

"And a few hankies," Des pointed out. "Welcome to our home. If you'll wait in the study across the hall," she told MacLeod. "I'll have Methos come deal with you." She walked everyone up to their rooms. "Okay, this is your room, Katherine. The little things with big ears are house elves. Ask them if you need anything, even a snack or some laundry done, got it?" She nodded, looking like she was trying to be brave. "It's not normally like that. We're at war with that creature you saw earlier. Never doubt he's evil and wrong. We'll show you around tomorrow, let you see all the safe places you can hide just in case. All right?" She nodded. "Good girl. Come see me tomorrow and I'll let you call your mum." Kat walked into her room and shut the door. "Tara, take Ron and Harry's room. Ethan, Wesley, take Dawn's room for now. We'll get you three sorted into more permanent rooms tomorrow. Philip should be back tonight so if you hear someone muttering it's him walking in his sleep again." They nodded and she went to chew Methos a new one, finding him muttering about Ron and Harry's mental problems. "They did what?"

"They decided to make fun of the arse," he told her. She rolled her eyes. "Ron told him he should commit suicide because he was so ugly. Harry pointed out that he hadn't know how far 'round the bend the thing was because he only heard him occasionally. Asked him if he was tainted enough for him." He crossed his arms. "Those two are going to give me an ulcer."

"Then swat them. I'm sure Ron's used to it and Harry's still a fragile thing so be careful with him," she instructed. "Now take your muggle and do something with him. Preferably something like feeding him to the giant squid. The man broadcasts morbidity worse than Angel does." She walked away, going to stomp around in the kitchen so she wouldn't disturb anyone. "Boys," she said in disgust. "All of them should be chained up and trained for obedience."

Methos walked into the Dark Arts study and found MacLeod enthralled by a painting. "Oh, quit," he said in disgust. He pulled him away, sending them both through the floo to the Leaky, where he personally locked MacLeod in and told Tom to keep him up there. Then he went to yell at Harry and Ron, and found Xander doing it for him.

"You two do not make fun of snake-face until you're ready to face him. You're not yet. You need at least another month of serious training before you're fully ready to take him on. He's not Draco, he won't stop when he's tired." They nodded, giving him patient 'I'm listening, not' looks. "For that, you two now have extra study time with me. He's using ancient magic if he could hijack portkeys that way." They nodded, still looking patient. "Go to bed and see me tomorrow after classes and practice." They headed off, chatting about their tactics. Xander looked at Methos. "Was I like that?"

Methos nodded, smirking at him. "If not a bit worse," he agreed, giving him a pat as he walked past him. "I've got to tell on Mac, you go cuddle."

"Fine," Xander sighed, heading up to find his mate. He found the Hufflepuffs had kidnaped him and was forcing him to give his opinion on their causal outfits. "Eww," Xander told one boy. "That is sickeningly bright and glaring. Change, now," he ordered, pointing up the stairs."

"But the magazine said it was fashionable," he whined.

"Yes, but only if the colors look good on you," Xander told him. "That doesn't. It makes you look like someone plugged you into a light." He cleared his throat. "The magazines are to give you an *idea* of what to wear, do not take it as a bible. Most of you are not size two and over six feet tall like the models." The girls groaned. "Nor do we want you to do that to yourself because then you get sick and die. Supermodels are called super because they survived this long. You pick clothes that suit your figure and your coloring. And only three people in this tower can wear pink and get away with it," he told the horde of pink-clad girls. "No matter what Chanel says." They pouted but went up to try on something else.

Draco looked at him. "Bad night?" he asked.

"Very. Ron and Harry decided to play 'taunt the Dark Lord' over his snakeness." He sat down with a groan. "They drove him to attack them but nothing further." He stole a kiss. "I left journals in Prof's classroom. We'll need to look at them after practice tomorrow. He's using ancient magic now if he's hijacking portkeys."

"Okay," Draco agreed. "Why did you leave them down there?"

"Because I put them down to yell at Harry and Ron." He reached over and rang the house elf bell. One appeared, smiling brightly at him. "I left a small stack of journals in the defense classroom and I'm *really* tired. Would you please get them for me?"

"Wants food too? Dobby gets food. Harry Potter likes you and he hungry too."

"Sure," Xander agreed, giving him a smile and a quick scratch behind the ears. "Thanks, Dobby. You're an excellent house elf."

Draco waited until he was gone to snort. "Potter freed him from my father."

"Good for him," Xander agreed. "Why does my house have seven house elves in a three house-elf home?"

"The rest were ones Mother didn't want," Draco told him. "We could bring one up here."

"Dumbledore would kill us," Xander reminded him. "I want to live through the holidays. Maybe we should send one to Cordy. She hates to clean."

Draco snickered. "I can just see Angel's reaction. He didn't come upstairs most of the time he was at the house. I'm sure he'd scream like a little girl."

"Probably," Xander agreed, grinning at that thought. "What an excellent idea. Maybe a house elf strip-o-gram?" Draco burst out in giggles, and they only got worse when Dobby came back with the journals, minus one, and a tray for them. "Thank you, Dobby. Was one missing?" The house elf nodded. "That's cool. I'm sure it'll turn up," he said, smiling at it. "Thank you."

"You's welcome. Yous call Dobby again if yous need anything." He disappeared.

Xander looked over at a painting with people in it. "Can you please tell the Headmaster I'll need that journal back by tomorrow?" It nodded and hurried off. "Thank you," he called after it. He shared the snack with Draco while they approved of outfits. Some of the kids had very good taste. The rest they were gentle with.

***

Angel looked up as Spike chuckled, walking out to see what was making him so happy. Usually only a good fight with a lot of bloodshed made him laugh like that. He found him staring at a little creature wearing a ribbon across it's chest, like it was in a beauty pageant. "What are you?" he asked.

"Present," she said, holding out the card. "For yous a present, for Missus Cordy a housekeeper," she said proudly. This was her last job doing this then she could be a proper house elf. She started to hum 'happy birthday' as she took off her clothes.

Spike continued to laugh, dodging Angel's clutching hands. "She's a right cute one, huh," he said, grinning meanly at him. "House elves are very popular in our world."

Angel sat down and started to cry. "Why does Harris do this to me?" he said in misery.

Fred came down the stairs. "Ooh, a house elf," she squealed, coming down to hug it. "You are so cool!" she told it. "You are the coolest creature in the whole magical world!"

Gunn peeked his head down the stairs. "What is that and why is Angel crying."

"Xander sent her," Spike said with a bright grin. "She has to finish her strip-o-gram or she can't go free to be our housekeeper." Angel looked horrified.

"Oh, you poor thing," Fred told her. "I was a slave once, I know how bad it can be. You just finish it up and Angel will hold still and watch, then we'll give you whatever sort of clothes you want and take you on as our housekeeper." The house elf nodded and went back to her last job.

Angel just sat there, broken now. This was too much for him.

Cordy came in with Buffy, large bags in hand. "Here, Angel, I liberated your card again," she told him.

"Keep it," he said, looking at her. "Xander sent us a present," he said, pointing at her. He looked at her. "Done?" She nodded. "What do you need?"

"Clothing," she said. "Then Sweetums can be the housekeeper like a real elf."

Buffy took off her tank top and handed it over. "Here, you look cold," she told her.

"Housekeeper?" Cordy asked. "Can you cook?" The house elf nodded. "Then I'm all for it. How much is your salary?"

Sweetums looked upset. "Sweetums no get paid. House elfs do jobs for masters, live long and make happy."

"Oh, dear," Fred said. "You're still a slave."

"They like it," Spike told her. He nodded at the house elf. "Tell her what happens if we free you."

"Sweetums have to go back to bad place," she told Fred. "Sweetums like housekeeper, be like a real house elf. Please don't free Sweetums?"

"Oh, you poor thing," Cordy said, giving her a hug. "Of course we won't free you unless you want to be freed. I'd never let someone go to that horrible spot again," she said looking at Fred.

"I guess it's okay since she wants it and all. Maybe we can find her a paying job," Fred told her. "Recondition her away from the slavery mindset."

Buffy looked at her. "The ones in Xander's house seem to be happy doing all the little things that humans don't like to do. I asked one and she said that's why house elfs are." She waved at the house elf. "Do you mind vampires? We won't eat you or anything so you're safe."

"Sweetums not mind as long as Sweetums not eaten," she promised. "Sweetums stay?"

"Yup, you sure are," Cordelia told her. "And right now, some of us could use a snack." The house elf wiggled until she was put down and hurried in to make them a grand dinner. She was proud of her new job. Cordelia looked at Fred. "We'll work on her," she said quietly.

"Thanks," Fred agreed. "They seem so much happier than I did."

"That's because they were made to do that," Spike told her. "Bred down or whatever." He smirked down at Angel. "Didn't like your birthday prezzie?"

"I will stake you," Angel warned. Spike took off running. He stood up, looking at his women. "Fix her," he told them. "I'm considering her a case."

"Sure," Cordelia agreed, nodding. "We'll do it as often as possible, as long as it doesn't make her cry."

"Good." He went to punish Spike for his sense of humor. Some days, he missed Ethan's dry and bitter wit. He really did.

Cordelia looked in the kitchen. "Give us a list and we'll get you whatever groceries you need," she promised.

"Sweetums have list later," she promised.

"Do you have another name?" Fred asked, coming in to watch her. She was very efficient.

"Masters picks Sweetums name," she told him. "Sweetums not care."

"How about... Morgan?" Cordelia asked. "After the little horse that's so strong?" The house elf smiled and nodded, her ears flapping. "Good. I'm going upstairs to put things up. Yell whenever the food is ready." She hurried up to put her new clothes away. This job was worse on the clothes than patrolling in Sunnydale had been.

Buffy came in to watch the house elf work. Cooking mystified her but it was fun to watch. That's why she watched the cooking channel whenever she was bored.

You're One Of A Kind, Xander Harris

Notes: again, as usual, many thanks to Intertran for the Latin!  I was nice enough to put the basic translations behind them.

Jim looked at his address book, mentally fighting with himself over sending out an email to a few cops he knew.  Some of them had gifts similar to his, or something else that made them pretty special.  They also usually had bosses who covered for them, but then again this was the government he was concerned about.  People who got paid a lot of money to be paranoid and read between the lines.  He looked at Simon, who shrugged, knowing what he was thinking.  "They'll need to know, just in case.  They'd be the sort to help people move."

"Then tell them but keep Blair's thing out of it," Simon suggested.  He still wasn't really comfortable with the word 'magic', it seemed so odd to him.  No matter how many times Blair had done little things around the house it was still something that he stared at in awe.  It was easier for him to accept Jim's things than it was for him to accept Blair's.

Jim opened up his email and clicked on the addresses he wanted to use this time.  Then he wrote a short message.  "Would you come see if this makes sense?"

Simon stood up and walked over, reading over his shoulder.  "The usual Ellison brevity I see.  I think they need more than 'you might be in danger, the gov wants people like us', Jim."  Jim grimaced at the screen.  "Let me."  Jim gladly let him have the seat and Simon sat down to rewrite the short missive.  "The government has proof that people with strange gifts exist and are looking to prove it to the press and others.  Be careful and watch your back," he read as he typed.

"Leave out the gifts part.  Most of us consider them a curse."

"Okay, the government has proof that there are people with extra abilities?"

"Nah."  Jim moved him out of the way.  "The government has proof we exist," he typed, going over Simon's first sentence but leaving the last half and the second one.  "How's that?"

"Good enough," Simon agreed, giving him a smile.  "You'll feel better later."

"Hopefully," Jim agreed, sending the message before he chickened out.  "I wonder if Blair wrote Naomi yet."

"Probably.  Her name was probably in the first email."

"And I bet some of them are wondering why they can't do those things," Jim sighed, putting his head down.  "I don't want to worry, Simon."

"You and me both, Jim, you and me both," Simon agreed, going back to his book.  He knew they had pissed off too many Feds in their days, but he hoped that wasn't about to come back and bite them on the butt.  This trip was nice and relaxing, he had gotten to read a lot of books he'd been meaning to, but he liked city life.   He missed his twenty-seven ways to have coffee.  The weather was a bit nicer, but still.

***

Greg looked up as Blair walked into his office.  "Giving tours here now?" he asked dryly, going back to his sample.

Blair gave him a hug.  "Watch the news today?"  Greg shook his head.  "Someone from the BBC overheard our Prez talking about witches in the hallway before a briefing.  Got it on tape even.  Asked him about it and the press conference was cut short by laughter."

"Maybe that's a good sign?" Greg asked.

"We're hoping it's a good sign."  He stood up, tightening his ponytail.  "Actually, I'm here more about some of Jim's friends. They're coming here on a case and to testify about something undercover.  One's kinda like Jim without being official.  The other two are Chicago city boys.  They bring trouble."

Greg snickered.  "Fun.  Worse trouble than you?"

"Yeah," Blair admitted, grinning at them. "They've also just had their room reservations canceled because it's a mafia trial.  I was wondering if you remembered that place that was rent-by-the-month.  The safe complex."

"Um," Greg said as he rolled to his rolodex.  "Yeah, here we are," he said, tugging out a card.  "Mentioning me won't get them any money off, but it is a referral service we offer around here."

"Thanks, Greg.  Have fun with your samples."  He heard a high-pitched squeal and his head went up as he sniffed the air, looking very alarmed.  "Cassie's here?"

"She and Sarah are friends," Greg said, wincing at her continued squealing.  "She's been here now for two days.  And you can't apparate from in here, something in the room makes everything tip over whenever we do."

"Dirt," Blair said, shuddering.  "Cassie wanted me for the longest time."  He walked out, whimpering a little.  He waved at Grissom as they passed in the hall.

"Sandburg," he said with a nod.  "In town for a chat?"

"I came to greet Benny, Ray, and Ray," he said with a small shrug.  "They're friends of Jim.  They just had their hotel rooms canceled because it's a mafia trial."  He continued to trudge on, muttering about how he should cast an 'ignore' charm before Cassie could spot him.

"Sandburg?" a loud, brash voice called from behind him.  She saw him stiffen and laughed, running over to hug him.  "What are you doing here?"

"I came back for a weekend," he said, smiling at her.  "Jim and I have a few friends who are in town due to a case and a trial.  He's picking them up and I came to get a recommendation for housing."

"They don't have rooms at a hotel already?  That's going to cost their department a pretty penny," Cassie, one of Jim's hometown CSI's, noted.

"Yeah, but they're thinking it's going to be a long trial so they're thinking apartment."  He shrugged.  "It happens.  One of the techs is one of my friends so I came to get a recommendation from him."  He waved the card around.  "Gotta go, Cassie, they'll be in any minute now."

"Poo.  Will you have time to go to dinner?"

"Probably not.  We're flying out in the morning," he said, sounding regretful.  "But don't worry, Simon and Jim are coming back next year.  You can bug them for all the British stuff they've been learning."

"Cool."  She kissed him on the cheek, then bounced off.  "Hopefully their friends don't bring problems like Sandburg does," she told her friend Sarah.

"Hopefully," Sarah agreed.  She looked around.  "Did you see Grissom?"

"He's back in his office," Warrick called from a lab down the hall.  Locked in of course because Cassie set his teeth on edge.

"Thanks," she called, walking Cassie that way.  The woman wanted to switch departments and the best way would be for her to corner Grissom and let Cassie talk to him. "Hey, maybe you'll even get to do an informal interview today," she offered.

Everyone who heard shuddered, especially Greg.  "If she does," Greg told his latest sample, "then I'm moving to Cascade."  Catherine laughed from the doorway so he looked at her.  "I am.  She won't be there."

"Trust Grissom.  He knows his staff," she promised.  "She might make day shift but not ours."  She accepted his paper and then went back to check the results against what she was seeing.

***

Blair leaned against Jim's side once he made it back to the airport.  "Cassie's visiting," he hissed.  Jim shuddered.  "I pleaded off dinner.  Said you'd be back next year."

"Maybe she'll have switched departments by then," Jim said hopefully.  He waved at his friend, getting a nod in return.  "Must have been a bad flight."

"I still don't like this plan of the NTSA to use any cops on flights as temporary Air Marshals," Blair groused.  "We don't get paid if something happens and our health insurance won't cover it."

"Yeah, but they'll never get enough people otherwise," a blond man said as he walked up to them.  "Jim, Sandburg," he said with a nod and a slight grin.

"Ray, I fed you food you couldn't pronounce, you can call me by my first name," Blair teased.  This was old hat between them.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Ray Vecchio noted as he walked up to them.  "Benny, come on."

"I still have to pick up Diefenbaker," he reminded them, heading that way.

Ray Kowalski shrugged.  "We think it's gonna be a *long* trial."

"And the good news is, your rooms were canceled," Blair told them, grinning at them.  "So we called your boss and had you set up in a small apartment in town.  He said it'd be cheaper anyway."

"Goodie, who gets to sleep in the tub?" Ray Vecchio asked.

"Nah, it's a four bedroom.  That way the wolf can sleep on his own," Jim said, smiling a little.  The wolf had slept with him whenever he had the chance while they had worked together.  Apparently he was a member of his pack now.   "Benton, come on," he called when he saw him walking slowly.

"He's probably got a cramp.  The seats were smaller than we remembered," Ray Kowalski groused, picking up his bags again.  "Come on, let's find a rental car or two."  Blair handed over keys.  "Damn, you're good."

"Yes, I am," Blair said proudly.  Ray K laughed and hugged him.  "Thanks, man.  After this is over, you should come visit us in the homeland.  Scotland is really nice."

"I bet," Benton Fraiser agreed as he joined them.  "Why are you over there?"

"Blair's doing some time at St. Andrew's," Jim said dryly.  "So he dragged us along.  We're doing one of those foreign exchange programs."  He turned, leading the way to the cars.  He, Ray V, and Benton got into the first one; Blair, Ray K, and the wolf got into the second one.  He started the car, heading for the place he had programed into the on-board computer.  This was a piece of technology he liked.  "It's been really strange."

"We got your email," Ray admitted.  "How bad is it?"

"Does it have anything to do with the witch comments at the press conference?" Benny asked.

"Definitely," Jim told them.  "Simon had a call from one of our guys, someone was nosing around my old cases as well.  We think it's related."

"Better safe than dead," Ray agreed, looking back at Benny.  "You, no tastin' stuff this time."

"I'm sure it'll be okay.  Blair's got a friend in the local CSI.  Greg's pretty nice, if a little on the young and impatient side."

"So, he's like Blair, only a scene tech?" Ray asked.

"No, he's their DNA tech on night shift," Jim said.  "Other than that, yeah."

The cops shared a laugh.  Sandburg was a prototype that had been slowly infiltrating all sorts of departments.

***

Blair looked over at Ray, then back at the wolf.  "Did you get my mail?"

"Yeah, and the one from Jim," Ray admitted, slumping some.  "Why us?"

"Because they're asses, Ray, nothing else."  He reached over to pat him on the knee.  "Any luck with big, clueless, and shiny?"

"Nah.  He likes his girly girls."  Ray sighed.  "How bad has it been on your end?  Scotland?"

"Yeah, Scotland," Blair said happily.  "I did high school over there.  It's really pretty country."

"I'm sure.  So was Canada, but there was snow," Ray pointed out.  Blair snickered.  "I'm serious.  I nearly got frostbite peeing."  He shifted some to look at his friend.  "Any good news?"

"No, not really," Blair sighed.  "Simon's antsy about going back to city life.  I told him he could offer to switch to Scotland Yard.  He thought he'd look dorky in that sort of hat."  Ray chuckled and punched him on the thigh.  "Hey, still taken, thank you. And if not, then I may have to do something drastic, namely kidnap Jim.  I like it over there."

"Hey, maybe he does too.  You said he likes woods."

"Yeah, but there's more strangeness in my life and it's freaking him badly.  You know him, staid and common man.  He can't get Jags games and he's been pouting because of it."

"Eh, Ray taped them all this season and has them in his bag.  Did you guys bring your own VCR?"  Blair nodded, following as Jim took a turn off the main strip.  Only that car had tele-location services, this was the 'we're all sold out but one we've got in the back' car from the rental place.  "Then expect him to be doing the dance of joy."

"I'm sure Jim will appreciate it," Blair said with a smile.  He wished he could share this part.  He and Ray were cool together.  They were bestest buddies.  He wanted to tell him but he knew it'd only cause trouble.

"So, why did Morgana Lieftson have me say hi?" Ray asked.  "Oh, and she told you to tell me.  Said she wasn't that brave right now."

"Morgana Liefson?" Blair asked, frowning as they pulled up to a gate.  "You'll need your badge."

Ray wiggled as he pulled it out of his back pocket.  "Yeah, said she knew you from school.  Said her name used to be Ralston-Murphis."

"Oh, *Morgana*!" Blair said, much happier with life now.  "We'll chat while the boys find a sports bar.  There's a lot she could have meant."  He pulled up to the gate.  "This is the other one," he said, pointing at Ray.  "Detective Kowalski."

"Hey, howyadoin'," Ray asked with a grin, holding up his ID.

"Good afternoon, detective," the guard greeted, sounding Arabic though he looked like an Iowa farmboy.  "Your assigned spot is spot 154 and here's the parking pass for this car.  It's also your key to the gate if no one's here."  He handed it over to Blair, who hung it on the mirror.  "Your keys are waiting on you and your needs have been assured by your generous friends."  He lifted the barricade and let them through.  "Have a nice day, Gentlemen."

"Thanks," Ray said, nodding at him as they drove past.  "This is really nice."

"It's a visiting businessman place," Blair explained. "It's got good security, has a grocery store not a block away, and most of the resorts are far enough away that they won't irritate Benny's delicate sensibilities.  Also, the pro's don't work out here unless you call them.   I doubt Vecchio was anywhere near this neighborhood when he was stationed out here."  He parked and turned off the car, handing over the keys.  "Here you are."  He pulled something out of his jacket pocket and handed them over.  "This is also yours.  It's the door key and the security button.  It works like a card reader."  He got out, holding the door so the wolf could get out too.  "Hey, Jim, did you know these guys work with someone I went to school with?" he called.

Jim looked back at him.  "That doesn't really surprise me with the amount of trouble they find."

"It's all Benny's fault," the two Rays said in semi-unison.

Benny chuckled.  "I'm sure it is.  After all, you never lead the way, either of you."  He waved a hand.  "Shall we go inside?  It's rather warm out here."

"It's nearly winter, this is about as cold as it gets during the day," someone told them, coming down the stairs.  "Hey, guys."  He grinned at Blair and Jim.  "Emilia sent over a fruit basket.  She's heard of Benny too."

"Emilia Dorekson is living here now?" Benny asked, looking very pleased.

"She's my wife," Greg told him.  He shook Ray Vecchio's hand.  "Hi, I'm Greg, I'm the DNA tech who they know locally."  That got a small laugh from Ray K.  "What did Blair tell you?"

"Nothin', I was laughin' because the wolf decided to try and eat me."  He got free of the licking tongue.  "Stop that."  He handed the leash to Benny.  "Yours.  I'm not a pastry."

"Nah, those are upstairs," Jim told him, grinning as Diefenbaker took off with only a quick sniff at Greg's pantsleg. "I think he knows the way."

"He's got pastry homing sense," Blair agreed dryly, shooing everyone inside.  "Come on, Greg, since you're here and all."  He leaned closer.  "Problems?"

"Wife.  Protesting.  Threw a fit."

"Ah."  Blair nodded, patting him on the arm.  "They do that.  Trust me."

Ray K looked back.  "What's wrong with her?"

"She's four months pregnant and apparently I'm too touchy at the moment," Greg told him.  He shrugged.  "She's having an odd day anyway.  Someone tried to follow her earlier."  Benny looked back at him.  "Use the little key thingie on the door plate."  Ray V did it and the door opened, letting them inside.  "She's fine, just pissed and my hugging didn't make her feel better this time."

"Expect a crying apology later," Blair said wisely.  "Tipsy did that last month."

"It'll take more than a day, she'll accuse me of sleeping with you first."  Jim turned to stare at him.  "She overheard Dawn while she was playing 'who'd make a good couple among the group' with Luna."  He grinned.  "She's jealous."

"She should be, you're a very nice man," Benny told him.  He pulled his wolf away from the donut box, handing them back to Ray, who tossed one down for the wolf.  "Ray!"

"It'll knock him out, Benny.  He had a worse flight than we did."  He looked at Jim.  "People coming to get married on budget rates.  A whole Iranian family who did that calling, trilling thing on the plane most of the trip from O'Hare."

Jim winced. "I'm sorry."

"And to make up for it, Ray's got you a present," Ray K said slyly.

"Oh, yeah.  I had them mailed so they wouldn't have to go through security."  Jim patted the boxes on the counter.  "Cool.  The one with my name on it's the entire Jags season."

Jim pulled him over and hugged him.  "I love you," he said, sniffling.  "That's the worst part about Scotland.  No basketball and I can't get into Blair's sports."  He picked out the box and sat down to open and touch the tapes.

"He's sports deprived," Blair shared with a grin.  "As a matter of fact, Ray and I decided you should take him to a sports bar tonight.  That way Jim can regain his sense of masculinity."

Ray Vecchio snickered.  "Sure, kid.  C'mon, Jim, we'll hit the town."  He looked at his other best friend.  "Benny, wanna come?  I can't promise Curling, but maybe some hockey.  Season's started."

Benny looked at Ray K.  "Would you mind staying here?"

"Go," Ray said, waving him off.  "Go play.  You'd probably never come to Vegas on your own."  Benny smiled and left with them, then he sighed.  "Finally."  He looked at Blair.  "What's this about magic?"

"I'm a wizard," Blair told him.  Ray blinked a few times.  "Really."

"I was talkin' tickets to a stage show, but okay.  Is that what Morgana said to tell me?"  Blair and Greg both nodded.  "Wow."  He sat down, looking at Greg.  "You're a normal guy, right?"

"For the most part," he said with a grin.  "Not every day though."

Ray K looked at Blair.  "Promise me you won't tell Benny.  He'll go nuts and ask questions forever."

"Not a problem.  It's a secret identity," Greg said as he stood back up.  "I'd better get back to work.  Have fun.  Run my way if you need desperate help."  He shook Ray's hand.  "Have fun.  Blair, dinner?"

"Nah, I think I'm gonna take Ray to may favorite place to eat.  He should appreciate it."

"Cool.  I'll be at work for another few hours.  Unfortunately, night and day have gotten a bit mixed up due to half of day shift having to quit."  He rolled his eyes.  "And Cassie's hinting that she'd like to take someone's position if they leave for days.  I don't know which is worse, Hodges or her."  He strolled out, heading back to work once he had found a shady corner.  He had agreed with Morgana that Chicago had to have someone who knew and could deal with people like them, but that didn't mean Ray had to know about him personally.

***

Benny looked at Jim once they were in the car.  "I've never sensed magic around Blair in the past."  Jim looked back at him in the mirror, thankful they weren't moving yet.  "He smells of the common herbs."

"He's been practicing defensive herbology," Jim told him.

Ray groaned.  "No, please, not plants.  No tasting stuff, Benny.  We don't need busted out here for being weird."

"I'm not planning on it, Ray.  I simply wanted to know when Blair had decided to go Wiccan."

"Back in his school days," Jim said, starting the car.  "Since we're back there, he's picked back up his studies."

"Hmm.  I'd like to start emailing him about that.  I know some of our local healers in Chicago and I'd like to compare the viewpoints."

"You'd have to talk to Blair about that," Jim pointed out.  "Right now, he's teaching Anthro at St. Andrews, helping out at his old school, and helping a few old friends of his."  He pulled out of the complex, heading toward the strip again.  "Small sports bar or large one?  I found both last night."

"Large one," Ray decided.  "It shouldn't be too crowded right now."

"Ray, this is Vegas, people have a different sense of business hours," Jim reminded him.  "Greg's night shift now runs from four to around three in the morning because their shifts got screwed up.  Apparently one of the higher detectives got found tampering with evidence and half their crew left suddenly."  He smiled.  "If you get a chance, have him introduce you to Catherine.  She's a nice lady, a wonderful mother, and she makes Blair calm down."

Ray chuckled.  "Wonderful.  She on the prowl?"

"No, not at all.  She's been helping a few friends of Blair's with some younger kids they're training."  A sudden thought popped into his head.  "Speaking of which, if you see the smirking blond boy with her or Greg, stay out of his way.  He's a nasty little kid some days."

"Vulgar?"

"No, old-school pureblood," Jim told him.  "The sort your mother could have been."

"We've still got some of them in the community," Ray admitted. "I'll be careful around him if I run into him."

"Should we be?" Benny asked.

"Greg's wife Emilia is mentoring Draco.  There's every chance you'll be running into each other at the police station."  He pulled onto the strip and headed for a resort he had liked the looks of last night.  "This one is more for locals than for tourists," Jim told them.  He let the valet take the car, not knowing how parking went around here, and led the way inside to the sports bar.  "Ah," he said, smiling in giddy joy.  "I missed these places."

"How many more months do you have?" Benny asked.  "I've often thought about doing something of the sort."

"You are, just unofficially," Ray pointed out, holding up three fingers to the hostess.  "He likes hockey and we want b-ball."

"Street, college, professional, or that new one on trampolines that's on Spike tv?" she asked, dimpling cutely at them.

"Professional or college," Jim told her.  He didn't even want to know about trampolines.  Was it ball for white guys who couldn't jump?

"Right this way, please."  She led them to a table in a quiet corner, but it had two tvs facing it.  "Here's your game menu," she said, handing over a photocopied listing of all the games and which channels they were on.  "Here's your regular menu."   She smiled at Benny.  "I noticed you were a little stunned by the noise.  This corner stays pretty quiet.  Especially since the bookies aren't here tonight."  She walked off, heading back to her station.

"Gee," Jim said, looking at Ray.  "That was nice of her."

"Definitely," Ray agreed, taking the game menu.  "There's three games going right now.  All college."  He looked at Jim. "Got a favorite team?"

"Is Duke playing?"  Ray nodded and flipped that game on one tv, then handed the menu to Benny.

"Thank you kindly, Ray."  He took off his hat and laid it on the bench next to him, then looked it over.  "Edmonton is playing in an hour," he said thoughtfully.  "I suppose I could watch equestrian events until then."  He turned his tv to it, smiling at the peaceful sport.

Jim and Ray shared a look that said 'that's a sport?'.  Then Jim shook his head.  "I'm living in the land of dog shows and racing.  I can't say anything about the gentler sports anymore."

"Also jumping and hunting," Benny offered.  "While I can't agree with how the foxes are killed, the actual hunt itself is rather thrilling from what I understand."

Jim shuddered.  "I've seen all the horses I want to see, thank you."  He looked at the game, wincing at the uneven score.  "Poor Duke."

"It's only the first half, they can catch up," Ray said, patting him on the hand.  He understood, he had been sports deprived while he had been undercover.  His new identity hadn't even gambled.  For being so dangerous, it had been really boring.  "I wonder what the wonder twins are doing."

Jim shook his head.  "I'm not.  Those two and trouble are nearly synonymous.  I only hope Blair doesn't get kidnaped tonight."  He waved the waitress over.  "Can I have some Fosters?"  Ray looked at him.  "I've grown to appreciate it.  I'm in the land of stout," he explained.

"I'm really sorry," Ray said, patting him on the hand again.  No beer and no basketball?  How was Jim surviving?

***

Blair led the way into his favorite bohemian place, smiling at the waitress.  "The last time I saw you, you were twelve," he told her.  She laughed and hugged him hard.  "Mona, this is Ray, he's in town for a long time.  Ray, this is Mona, her parents let Naomi and I stay with them for a few weeks."

"Of course they did.  I don't think there's many people your mom doesn't know," Ray told him, smiling at her.  "What sort of food is this?" he asked as she led them to a small table near the bar.

"Mediterranean.  Arabic.  This that and the other," Mona told him, handing over a menu.  "We do have a small bar if you'd like some, or we have some wonderful Turkish coffee with any sort of syrup you could want."

"Got chocolate?" Ray asked.

"We've got almond fudge, milk chocolate, and our special, homemade, white chocolate one," she said proudly. "I made a new batch this morning."

"Let's try the fudge one," Blair said, handing back his menu.  "What's on the special tonight."

"Trout from the lake."  Blair took his menu back.  "Would you like some seafood?"

"Please?" he begged, smiling at her.  "Something with clams and lobster, or even just shrimp?"

"Of course, Blair.  Pasta or not?"  He shrugged.  "I'll tell Mom that when I tell you're here."  She looked at Ray.  "Any particular meat animal you like?"

"Beef?" he asked.

She shook her head.  "Sorry, Mom and Dad have a rule about animals.  If it's cute they won't cook or eat it.  I'm sorry."

"That's okay," he said, flipping open his menu. "Can I start with this bread thing?"  She nodded, taking their order on the way to the kitchen.  He looked at Blair.  "Are you a regular?"

"Nah, but I do write every now and then to have them send me full meals.  It keeps me from doing all the cooking."  He looked at the menu, smiling as he pointed at something.  "That's pretty close, even though it's deer and turkey."

"I think I'll stick with pork or chicken," Ray told him.  "I got nibbled on by a caribou and  we ate that sucker for weeks."  He grinned as their appetizers and coffees were brought.  "Thanks.  Can I have this pork chop dish?"

"Are you sure?  It's pretty big," she warned.  "It's got like five sides and comes with dessert."

"We were on a plane all day," he told her, handing back the menu.  "I think I can handle it.  And if not, I can take home the rest, right?"  She nodded, giving him another smile before walking off.  He sipped his coffee, his eyes going wide.  "What is that?"

"Real coffee from the people who figured out how to do it first," Blair said, sipping his.  "The fudge is a little strong," he noted.  He dropped a bit of milk into it and handed it over. "Here, you'll probably want it."

"Nah, I'm good with that.  I've never had a coffee that was supposed to be that strong."

"Have the other Ray make you *real* espresso once.  You'll learn to like it."  He took another sip.  "Just right."  He heard a squeal and looked up like a dog caught in the headlights.  "Cassie?" he asked, sounding fearful.

Ray glanced around.  "No, some girl who just got asked that important question."  He grinned. "Is that the same Cassie who bugs you?"  Blair nodded. "What's she doin' here?"

"She's interviewing," Blair said, slowly calming down.

Ray shook his head.  "I hope she finds a place where the people like her," he offered.  Blair snickered and hit her.  "What?  That's important."  He tasted the bread and had to gulp his coffee and most of Blair's, plus their waters.  "Hot," he said, fanning his mouth.

Blair nipped a piece and nibbled on it, then shook his head.  "Not really.  I've seen it hotter."  Ray looked at him.  "Really."

"This whole native cultures thing you've got going is odd, Blair," Ray said firmly, making sure his next piece didn't have any of the peppers on it.  "Much better."  The waitress brought them new glasses of water and some soda with a wink.  "Thanks."

"We did have to put a warning on it once for those with tongue piercings and split tongues," she shared, then she wandered off.

"Why do people split their tongues?" Ray asked.  Blair shrugged.  He hadn't heard of it outside of some goofy kids either.   That was definitely not a native ritual.

***

Blair walked Ray out to their car, glancing around.   "Ray, who's that kid?" he asked casually, nodding behind them.

Ray looked over his shoulder and pulled his badge, holding it up.  The kid ran off.  "Geez, even here you get into trouble," he taunted, grinning at him.

"No, I don't.  You're the one with the cash."  He opened the door, looking in the back seat.  "I don't know why I'm so paranoid today."

"Because you're here and they might want to keep you," Ray pointed out.  He climbed in to drive, he'd better get used to the city.  He looked over but Blair wasn't getting in, the door was open, and Blair was laying on the pavement.  "Shit."  He pulled his gun as he stepped out, looking around as he carefully walked over there.  He found the dart and pulled it out, stuffing it into Blair's jacket pocket for now.  Then he glanced around again before putting him into the car and slamming the door.  He walked back, getting inside and locking them in.  He picked up the car phone and dialed.  "Hi, this is Detective Ray Kowalski, in on a joint case from Chicago, and my guide just got darted.  Yeah, I said darted," he sighed.  "Not a clue.  He's presently unconscious.  No, we're in the parking lot of Mariana's Family Eatery."  He snorted.  "That's what the sign outside says."  He listened.  "Yeah, he's breathing all right and all that.  How do I get there?"  He started the car and backed up, hitting someone.  "Um, hold on."  He let down the window, looking out. "Hey, I just hit the guy with the rifle.  Sure, we'll wait," he agreed, hanging up and getting out to handcuff the guy to his bumper.  "Next time, don't mess with us," he warned when the guy groaned.   He heard clapping and looked around, pointing his gun at the guy walking toward him clapping.  "And you are?"

"An old friend of Ellison's."

"Yeah, well, he's with my partner right now," Ray told him, not moving his gun in the least.  "Go away.   The cops are on their way."

"Oh, but I've got one better.  I'm a Fed," he said, pulling out his badge.

"Yay.  Bad Feds are still arrestable," Ray promised.  A cop car pulled up, lights on, and one of the cops stepped out with his gun drawn.  "I'm a cop," he called, holding up his badge with his free hand.  "This guy darted the guy I was having dinner with."

"No, I had nothing to do with the dart.  You'll find that's my colleague," he said, smiling at him.  "Who is no longer where you put him."

Ray glanced back but the handcuffs were empty.  He looked at the Fed again.  "He's still injured.  That's really hard to hide."

"Yes, it is," the Fed said dryly.  "But we've got our own people."

"Sir, please, let me handle this," the officer pleaded.  "You're not on duty."

Ray shrugged and put his gun away.  "Technically, I kinda am," he offered.  "I'm here on a joint case.  Oh, Sandburg," he said, pointing at the car.  "The dart's in his jacket pocket."  The officer rushed to check him as soon as others pulled in.  Ray crossed his arms, glaring at the bastard.  "You hurt Blair over your dead body."

"Oh, you are so delightful.  I'll have to tell Ford that I met you."  He smirked.

"Ford can blow me," Ray said with a sneer.  "He and you both."  Someone coughed and Ray looked at the balding guy joining them.  "Hey, howyadoin'?" he asked.  "Ray Kowalski.  This idiot had my friend darted."

"And the handcuffs?"

"They had a person in them originally," Ray told him.  "He was there, I swear."

"I have no doubt about that," Detective Brass agreed.  He got out of the paramedic's way.  "Dart?"

"Dart.  It's in his pocket."

"We've got it in a baggie, Detective," the paramedic assured him.  "Is he a local?"

"No, he flew in to see us.  He's friends with one of your techies."

"He's a friend of Greg's?" Brass asked.

"Yeah, him.  Nice guy.  We met earlier."

"Are you two friends?" Brass asked.

Ray shrugged.  "I only just met the guy."  He grinned and looked at the Fed but he had disappeared.  "Whatthefuck!" he shouted, glaring at the empty spot.

"Don't worry," Brass soothed, "we know all about them.  They'll be caught."  He led Ray back to his car.  "You were going to come in tomorrow anyway, want to start this now?"

"Sure, why not," Ray said, shaking his head.  He patted himself down then went to get his wallet from the car seat, pulling out the carphone and the card he had for Jim's cell, calling him.  "Hey, it's me.  Blair got darted.  He's on his way to the hospital, I'm on my way to the station, and the guy in handcuffs disappeared, as did the federal agent."  He snorted and held up the phone.  "It's for you.  It's Vecchio."

Brass sighed.  He had met that detective in the past.  But he took the phone anyway.  "Hello, Detective."  He smiled.  "Yeah, it's me.  Anything strange falls in my lap.  Sure."  He looked at the paramedics.  "Dessert Palms.  He's got records there according to his friend and partner.  He's a helper with the Cascade PD."  They nodded and rushed off extra fast.  He listened to the conversation on the other end.  "Sure, come on down.  I'm sure someone would be happy to see you again," he admitted, handing the phone back.  "Two of them are coming down to get you, one's on his way to the hospital to be with that guy," he said, smiling at him.  "Want to follow?"

"I'd think it'd be evidence," Ray offered.  "I did hit the guy."

"I noticed the dent.  Okay, let me give you a ride, the CSIs can bring it down and hand it back after they've scraped the paint and stuff."  He walked Ray back to his car, getting in and taking him back to the station.  Almost as soon as they got there, a dead body was found and he had to go back out so he left Ray in his office waiting on Ray and Benny.   He looked down at the body.  "Dressed in black, handcuff marks.  Does he have injuries like a car hit him going really slowly?"

The coroner looked at him.  "How did you know?"

"Because he's the one who darted a helper to the Cascade PD earlier," Catherine told him, looking at Brass.  "Right?"

Brass nodded.  "Looks like it.  I guess he failed."  He shrugged.  "We're meeting with Vecchio, Kowalski, and Fraiser tonight.  They're all headed for my office."

"Tell him I still want to hurt him," Catherine told him, heading down to do her job.  "Then smack him across the face for the ass-pinch."

"He was undercover, sometimes you've got to be odd," Grissom reminded her with a faint smile.  "Do you think we'll find fingerprints?"

"No."  Brass took the polaroid from someone's hand and took a picture of his own.  "Okay.  I'm headed back since my brilliance isn't needed.  Have fun.  Let me know what hit Sandburg."  He headed back to his car, going back to his desk.  He liked his desk.  It was comforting when things got too weird.  He walked into his office, nodding at the other men.  "This him?" he asked, handing it over.

"That's the guy I hit and handcuffed," Ray agreed, handing it back.  "He looked dead."

"That's because he is," Brass admitted as he sat down.  "Hi.  Constable, Detective.  Sit."  They sat.  "Oh, Catherine said she still wants to slam you into a wall and hit you for that pinch thing."

Ray Vecchio shrugged.  "It was the part I played, not my real intention.  A woman like that shouldn't be disrespected, she'll shoot you."

"Very true," Greg said from the doorway.  "The dart from Desert Palms is here and it's herbal.  I can't tell with the machine."

"Is there another way you can tell without it being illegal?" Benny asked like the Mountie he was.  "Something admissible?"

"No," Greg told him, shrugging.  "We're not really set up for that.  I can guess by the color, the smell, and whatnot."

"Still not admissible," Brass pointed out.

"Yeah, but will this actually hit a courtroom?"

"Give me what you think and save a sample," Brass told him.  "Do it your way on one and we'll figure it out with the other."  Greg nodded, heading back to his lab.  "That was Greg."

"We met Greg earlier," Benny said calmly.  "Another herbalist?"

"Something like that," Brass agreed.  Apparently these guys didn't know everything.  He saw Greg's headshake from down the hall and his held-up sign about one of them knowing about Blair.  Then Greg disappeared.  "Okay.  So we've got your case, this Fed thing, the trial, and did you three have anything else planned while you were here?  Just in case we need the riot gear perhaps?"

"Benny's our trouble magnet," Ray K told him.  "Sandburg's leaving tomorrow sometime."

"Good.  I like that situation."  He smiled at Benton.  "What sort of trouble do you draw?"

Ray V snorted, shaking his head.  "Don't ask, just don't ask.  You might want to cry."  Brass gave him a look so he elaborated.  "Last week, he stepped into the middle of a gang fight without a weapon and hit someone with his hat when they got mouthy," he told the native detective.  Brass groaned.

"He's one of those good guys who people resent for being so good," Ray K added.

"They do not," Benny said, frowning at him.  "The only person who resents me for doing what they thought they should be doing was that one instance with Mr. Zuko and he turned out to have motives for his generosity."

Vecchio waved a hand.  "This is why my Lieutenant sent you the whiskey," he assured him as he stood up.  "I can hear Jim complaining so they must have released Sandburg."

"Ya know, he's tired of people not using his first name," Ray K reminded him.

"Yay. He's like a friend's kid brother.  If I had another annoying nickname, I'd use it," Ray V told him.  He looked over as Jim walked in.  "Hey, the gang's all here," he said, letting Blair have his seat.  "Feel better yet?"

"No, for the third time in my life, I'm feeling rather homicidal," Blair told him, looking very serious.  "The last time I felt this way, I had to save both of us from Lash."

"Lash?" Ray K asked.  "That was you?"  Blair gave him a smug look and a nod.  "Damn.  Ellison, do you wear armor at home?  I've always wondered if there was more comfortable stuff out there."

Jim shook his head, breaking down to laugh.  "I probably should.  It's been nice, no one's shot at us in nearly a year now."

"Tried to kill us, sure, but no guns," Blair agreed, grinning at Jim.  "Thank you for saving me from the needles of doom."

Greg walked in with a small vial and handed it over, then gave Blair a hug.  "Mood affecter," he told him.  "It'd give them a reason to pick you up."  He looked at Jim.  "We're not sure."  Then he looked at Brass, handing over a paper.  "After careful distillation, we've found out it's like a negative version of Prozac."

"Joy," Brass said, waving a hand.  "Go away."

"Going."

"No, I meant run away, kid," Brass told him.  "They're in town."

"Yeah, they were," Greg agreed, smirking at him.  "Your other Fed, Ray, did he look about six feet, thinning light brown hair, sneer permanently etched onto his gamey face?"  Ray nodded.  "Wearing all black and a blue tie?"  Ray nodded again.  "He just got caught."  He grinned, looking at Brass.  "He tried to break into my house.  Emilia made him sorry."  He bowed.  "So said the patrol people who went to pick him up for her.  He's in holding two with the special handcuffs on."  He grinned at him.  "But you're right, I'm leaving after tonight.  Emilia's already headed over here to join me.  We'll take Blair and Jim back with us.  We'll probably be back this weekend for a bit."  He strolled out, going to tell Grissom that since he was coming in.  "Hey.  Our house got broken into by the Fed buddy of the one you just picked up."  Grissom and Catherine both gave him a look.  "You remember what Emilia did when she came for me?" he asked with a grin.  Catherine burst out laughing.  "She did it in reverse for him.  He's in some pain right now, sitting in Holding two with the special handcuffs on.  The dart was a negative affecting herbal Prozac.  I've made an antidote and it's sitting in the fridge in the mason jar.  Use two tablespoons per ounce held by the dart.  Sandburg's down the hall in Brass' office.  Brass has the chemical analysis.  I'm leaving tonight.  I'll check in this weekend."

"That's fine, Greg.  Go as soon as she gets here," Grissom ordered calmly.

"Nah, I've got a few more samples to run and we'll be fine here.  I know the Feds take some with the IQ of a roach, but they're not quite that dumb."  He waved and went to his lab to finish up the work laying around.  He'd miss this place if he couldn't come back.  His wife was escorted in a few minutes later by one of the twins.  "Hey, Fred.  Thanks."

"I'm George," he lied, "and it's not a problem.  I'm keeping Tipsy from coming to help," he said with a faint grin.  "My woman's a fierce beast today."

Emilia looked at Greg.  "Did you give them the basket?"

"And some donuts I picked up on the way over," he said, giving her a hopeful look.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Greg," she sighed.  "I'm not that vulnerable."

"To me you are," he said firmly, staring her down.  She looked away, blushing.  "Don't argue, it's a natural imperative for me to want to protect you, to coddle you, and to make you wish I would leave you alone.  If you don't like it then I'll simply have to whine and complain to Tipsy and get her to sic the twins on you."  Fred snorted, shaking his head.  "Or do it herself."

"Fine," she sighed, giving him a hug.  "You can be a big worrywart.  I'll quit complaining about it."

"Thanks."  He gave her a gentle kiss.  "Go sit in the lounge.  I'm nearly done."  She nodded, heading that way with Fred.  She could tell the difference, Fred reacted differently, more carefully, around her and Tipsy's stomachs.

***

Vecchio opened the front door, yawning at the officer standing there.  "Yeah?"

"Detective, I'm here to escort you to the courthouse," he said calmly.

Ray nodded him inside.  "Just got up.  How long?"

"Ten minutes?  We can drive through somewhere to get you some coffee if you want."  Ray grunted and nodded, heading to take a quick shower and do what little hair he had.  Benny had worn out his frustration last night by ironing everything they had brought with them, including his suit for today.  In fifteen minutes he was ready and heading out the door.  He noticed the unmarked car and looked at the young cop.  "For safety reasons, sir.  Do you have a cellphone on you?"  Ray shook his head so he handed a prepaid one over.  "Here, just in case you need to call for help.  The night shift Detectives were very concerned about your safety.  You can refill the minutes at any 7-11, Wal-Mart, Target, and many other convenience stores.  Just in case."

"That's because on of our friends got attacked last night," he noted, climbing into the passenger's seat.  "I did rent a car."

"Yes, sir, we know, but we figured they'd be doing something soon since you're first to testify."  He backed out of the spot and down to the gate, waiting while they were let out.  "Is regular fast food all right with you or did you need something stronger?"

"Starbucks," Ray told him.  "I'm good enough with that."

"All right, Detective. If you say so.  Ours is a bit strong though."

"Eh, I had beer last night before the attack.  It'll eat that stuff instead of my stomach.  Besides, my sister makes coffee that can make a grown man cry and plead for mercy.  The whole unit has to drink it because she lords over the machine."  The cop chuckled, pulling into the nearest Starbucks drivethru.  By the time they got to the courthouse, the prosecutor was sweating and muttering.  "Calm down, I'm here," he announced as they walked up the hallway.  "We had a long night."

"I heard.  Was it related?"

"Nah, not in the least."  He sipped more of his coffee as he was lead to the special waiting room.  This would be his day for the next little while.

***

Greg trudged up the front stairs of Alex's house, knocking politely.  Aunt Cordy opened the door and immediately pulled him in for a hug.  "We weren't attacked, Blair was," he said quietly.  "They tried the house."  He let himself and his wife be pulled inside and put in front of a warm fire, snuggling against her side.  "Can't we fix this?"

"Sorry, I can't think how," she offered, stroking over his hair and down his arm.  "It'll be okay.  It'll be done with soon."

"What happened?" Des asked as she walked in with mugs of stuff for them.  "Drink first," she warned.

Greg swallowed some cider, then looked up at her.  "Thanks for taking us in again."

"It's not a problem," she promised, giving him a short pinch to the cheek.  "Now, what happened?"

"The Feds came after Sandburg," Emilia told her, sipping her own cider.  She noticed it was only cider, not hard cider like Greg's was.  His smelled really good but she understood.  "They darted him with something and then they left when they were caught.  I got the main guy trying to come into the house."  She sipped more of her cider, then rested a hand on her stomach.  "He'll live, so will Blair."  Greg leaned closer, giving her a kiss.  "I know, but I didn't want to have to move."

"We'll go back," Greg promised.  "They're not driving us off for very long.  I like my house, my job, and my coworkers.  If they try something, they're going to go down.  Even if I have to ask Alex for help."

"Carnage himself?" Des said dryly.

"Carnage?" Emilia asked.  "I've never heard him called that."

"Between his training and his graduation, the boy took a year off.  That's when the name made it into the popular press," Des said, sitting down in a nearby chair.  Her joints were aching again.  "The boy got into a lot of fights.  People kept coming up to him to test themselves against the great Dumass dueler.  And of course he won all but one of them."  She smiled.  "He forfeited one against some young girl, told her to come back when she was old enough to date without a chaperone.  She nearly destroyed the inn they were dining in.  Had to rebuild it too because Alex didn't participate in her tantrum."  She looked at them.  "The nickname Carnage was coined by his brother Justinius, the one we banished for demonic activity.   He called him that because Alex was nothing if not destructive in his youth.  The boy destroyed nearly everything he touched for the longest time.  It continued into his first year then it suddenly stopped.  Then it came out after he graduated."

"Did he play too roughly?" Emilia asked.

Des chuckled.  "No, dear.  He leaked magic constantly.  He and Harry have that in common.  I think his sexual nature is that same energy coming out in a more adult and acceptable manner."  She stood up with a slight moan.  "Greg, if you wouldn't mind, could you make me something for my joints tomorrow?"  He nodded.  "Good boy.  Thank you.  I've had you put into the room Tipsy used the last time.  You two behave and don't keep the rest of us awake."  She headed up to her room, a warm bath would help her aches and pains.

Emilia looked so sad.  "I think Xander's going to lose her again soon," she said quietly.

"It's the natural order of things, love," Greg reminded her.  "We'll help him through it if Draco needs us."  She smiled and him, then kissed him on the tip of the nose.  "Thanks."  He grinned.  "Want a bath?  I'll run you one."

"Greg, that's what elves or my own hands are for.  You can spoil me by giving me a backrub."

"Okay," he agreed, happy with that arrangement. As long as he got to spoil and fuss over her he'd be happy enough.

***

Xander looked up from his reading as the Hufflepuff door opened.  He had been waiting on Dawn because she had a new lesson to go over tonight from Wesley.  Instead, he got his cousin.  "Hey, Severus."  He put down his book and put up his feet.  "What's wrong?  Did Dawn get snatched by Ron again?"

Snape groaned and shook his head.  "Not recently.  Thankfully she wasn't touched when she went to the village in that dress."  He sat down next to the feet.  "I came to ask if you'd like to restart the dueling club I started to irritate Lockhart.  It would give you a chance to help the students with their fighting skills, but also a chance to fight a bit without getting into trouble."

Xander snorted.  "Did you hear about that challenge too?"

"Indeed," Snape said dryly, relaxing.  "The demented boy was bragging around the Slytherin common room.  He has been convinced he was an idiot and has withdrawn his challenge."  He glanced around then back at his cousin.  "It could be very helpful."

"Sure, I'm all for a bit of fighting," Xander told him, giving him a naughty grin.  "What happened to Sandburg?"

"He was hit with a chemical-laden dart and knocked unconscious.  They didn't know what that sort of thing did with our unique body chemistry.  Greg and Emilia are also headed for your house.  He called to tell me."

"Good.  Can I go do something about that?  Maybe kick someone's ass or memory charm them?"

"I doubt it would work, Alex."  He stood up.  "See me tomorrow night about scheduling."

"I'll even remind Draco not to cast snake charms at Harry," Xander agreed in his driest voice.

"That would probably be nice, yes," Snape agreed, looking amused.  "We'll try to keep those two from going against each other."   He left him there, going to tell the Headmaster of his desire.  The man would agree, it could only help.  He found him enshrouded in a green cloud and gasped, rushing forward.  "Albus!"

"I'm fine," he noted quietly.  "Simply meditating."  He looked at him.  "Was there a problem?"

"No, I came to tell you I was restarting the dueling club with Alex as my second."

Dumbledore nodded. "That is fine, Severus.  Have fun."  Snape nodded and left him there. Albus uncovered his crystal ball and scrying pool, going back to what he had been doing.

***

The next night found a large group of students in the Great Hall, looking at the teacher and the student.  "As you know, we tried his once before," Snape noted.

"Yeah, with the fake," Ron snorted.  Snape glared at him and Ron grinned.  "He was."

"He may have been, but this is not the venue to air that opinion.  Ten points off Gryffindor for it."  He looked at the other students.  "Since that time, I have been wanting to restart it, but could not find anyone as a worthy opponent.   Since we have an *expert* at it," he said, sneering at Xander for show, "we can proceed again.   Shall we, Mr. Dumass?"

"We shall," he agreed, taking off his robe.  "It is important that you be somewhat comfortable and not confined while you duel.  Any person with a touch of class and fair play in mind will at least allow you to take off your outer robe if you're wearing one, or a jacket if you're not.  If they don't, then expect them to play dirty," Xander instructed as he stepped onto the stage.

Hermione raised her hand. "Is that why all our robes are so tight across our shoulders?  To discourage us from dueling?"

"Indeed," Snape agreed.  He looked at opponent, taking off his own outer robe.  "It is also a good thing to keep that in mind when you choose your daily robes.  While I can fight in mine, I find it easier not to have to."

"And while my uniform was actually created with dueling in mind, because we did a lot more of that in our day, the robe is still a liability that you'll have to learn to overcome."  He raised his wand to salute his opponent with it.  "Ready?"

"Ready," Snape said, turning around.  They went back to back, then paced off the three steps, then turned.  He cast first.  "Somnulus!"

Xander stepped aside.  "Thanks for that but I didn't really need a nap," Xander countered with a grin.  "Ictus!" (Eat).  Snape ducked out of the way, glaring at him and he bowed in his best courtly manner.  "You wanted to make this a play duel?"

"Not any longer," he sneered, standing up straight.  "And the outcome?"

"Butterbeers?"

"Fine.  Pulsus!"(push).  Xander moved back a bit but stopped himself.  "Rutila!" (Shove).  This time Xander didn't move, simply stood there smirking at him.  "Forfeiting?"

"Not hardly."  Xander flicked his wand, a careless, graceful movement, as opposed to Severus' full-body movements.  "Vires Manus Ledo, Rutila!" (Hit with hand of power, shove)  A few of the kids 'ooh'ed as Professor Snape went flying backwards.  Some more clapped.  Xander bowed to them.  "Occularis!" he cast, making his cousin groan and try to clear his eyes.  "Did I win?" he asked.

"No," Snape ground out, pointing his wand in the general direction of Xander.  "Morsus Manus!" (Eat hand).  Xander laughed as he blocked it.  "Finite Incantanum," he hissed, clearing his own eyes.  He walked back up onto the stage, seeing the content, pleased, and smug look his cousin had on his face.  "We'll see who buys how many rounds, shall we?  Incidere nasal!" (Cut nose)   Xander ducked that one, coming up looking offended.  "You wanted a real duel," he noted.

"Yeah, I did.  Does that mean I can be myself?" Xander quipped, regaining his good humor.

"Fine, do whatever you wish.  I'll still beat you."

"If you say so, cousin.  Genu Adstringo!" (Bind knees).  He quickly followed his advantage with two more funny curses.  "Restituo Pedis Aurum!  Evictum Seata, Restituo Ferrum!" (Replace a foot with gold; remove hair, replace with iron)

"Extorqueo Venter!" (Dislocate stomach) Snape cast at the same time.  Then he let out a wordless shriek.  Xander had blocked his with another curse.

"Premo Auris!" (Squeeze ear).  Xander waved.  "Didn't like that?"  Snape growled so he gave it one last shot.  "Verto aurum pes quod ferrum saeta!" (Exchange gold foot and iron hair) He even used his showiest swish and flick at him for it, crowing his achievement.   Snape stomped forward, his iron foot clumping on the stage.  "You know, you look halfway decent as a blond," he noted.  Draco burst out in giggles and the rest of the students followed suit.

Snape faced his opponent and bowed.  "Fine, you win.  I'll buy you a butterbeer next trip into the village," he said coldly.

Xander gave him a gentle pat on the arm. "I warned you I was gonna be funny," Xander whispered.  Snape gave him a look, then down at his iron foot.  "Pedis Aurum!" he cast.  "Now they're matching," he said with a grin and a wink before bowing to the crowd.  "Come on, we performed beautifully, you can bow too," he encouraged. Snape gave a sketchy bow then face him again.  "Do you yield?" he asked formally, loud enough to be heard over the giggling.

"I yield," Snape said bitterly, but his eyes showed that he was enjoying this a bit.  There was actual mirth shining from them.

Xander winked. "Just think, we know all these things and they don't," he told him.  "They were in our books and not theirs."

Snape did smirk and chuckle at that.  "Very true."  He looked down.  "Mr. Weasley," he said, smirking at him.  "Come be our test subject."

"Yes, Professor," Ron said, giving Xander a look before he climbed up onto the stage.  "What are you going to do to me this time?"

"Aurum Manus!" Snape cast, pointing his wand at Ron's wand hand. "Now cast something simple," he ordered smoothly.

Ron tried to cast but nothing was coming out of his wand.  It was still normal but his hand was blocking it.  "Bloody hell," he said in delight.  "So that's why you do that!"  He looked at Xander.  "You mean we can change their wand hand and it'll block it?"

"Only if you change it to something denser that's not magical in its own right," Xander admitted.  "Verto Ferrum."  Ron's hand changed from gold to iron and he sagged with the extra weight of it.  "Now, do we need to have a talk about taunting your enemy?" he whispered.

"No, Xander," Ron said firmly.  "Even though you and Buffy do it."

"Yes, but we do it *during* the fight.  It's a distraction tactic to make them lose control *during* the fight."

"Yes, Xander.  Please let me go?"

"Fine," Xander agreed.  "Reverto ut viscus."  Ron sighed in relief and slid back into the student mass.  "Okay.  That was an advanced showing.  That is for serious battles, even though Professor Snape and I were playing.  Those are thing that you do when you're in deep shit and the world is going to end for you personally if you don't win."

"In other words, when you're going to die," Snape supplied at some of the clueless looks.  He looked at Xander.  "Be gentler with their little minds," he ordered.

"Fine."  Xander bowed to them.  "I know some of you have the basics, so let's move you up to the point where you can do your own formal duel.  Remember, duels are about honor, usually something saying you besmirched theirs or they've insulted yours.  This is not hexing in the hallways, nor is it for a real fight.  Real fights you don't wait and give your opponent an opportunity to respond."  They all nodded, seeing the sense in that.  "Who has done this before?"

Draco and Harry both raised their hands.

"We do not want to see another snake incident," Snape sneered at Harry.

"Then I won't," Draco noted as he hopped up.  "When were you going to teach me those?"

"When you showed how Slytherin you were and got into my old books," Xander said with a kind grin and a short kiss.  Some of the girls 'aww'ed.  "Thanks.  I think he's cute when he's stunned too," Xander told them.  "Turn, face your opponent."  He looked at Severus, who was behind Harry.  "You wanna switch, that way you don't break out in hives?  I've noticed you seem to be allergic to Harry."

Snape gave him a look.  "It's a mild reaction at best," he noted coolly, but he was trying so hard not to smile.  This cousin of his was rather entertaining.

"I've got some allergy medicine if you need it," one second year Hufflepuff offered.

"That won't be necessary.  I have some in my desk," he assured the clueless one.  He looked back to see Xander and Draco nearly breaking out in laughter.  "Shall we?"  Both boys bowed then turned and paced off.  The teachers got out of the way, knowing how explosive this one could be.

"I don't think that's a wise idea," McGonagall said from the doorway.  She walked in.  "Mr. Malfoy-Dumass, please pick on one of the Slytherins.  Harry has to go upstairs right now.  There's news he needs to hear."

Harry nodded and bowed at Draco again.  "I'll save it for the next insult," he said, hopping off and walking up to the office.

"Did you want to help, Professor?" Ron asked.

She looked at him and blushed a bit.  "No thank you, Ronald.  I remember Alex's dueling skills very well.  While we were in school, he defended the honor of every young woman who was not joined with a boyfriend."

"Which means I got into a lot for her," Xander shared, making her blush further.  "It's not *my* fault all of Ravenclaw wanted you, Minerva.  You were one hot chick in your day."  The girls blinked a few times, looking very shocked.

"I wasn't always old and wrinkled," she reminded them.  "I was your age once."  She looked at her coworker.  "That is a nice look on you, Professor Snape.  You should think about white gold.  Or perhaps rose gold next time."  She hurried out before he could retort.

Xander broke down in laughter.  "Oh, that was so cute," he howled, pounding his fist on the stage to control it.

"No, I don't think you'd look good in either color, Professor," Draco noted, not laughing because he had self-control.  "You in pink hair would be most distressing to the students."  He pointed his wand at the professor's heavy foot.  "Reverto ut viscus!"  Snape lifted his chin and looked at him.  "I don't know how to uncurse your hair," he admitted.  "I'm sorry about what my consort did."

"Things like that happen in duels.  Mr. Weasley, perhaps you should duel with Mr. Malfoy."

"No thanks," Ron told him, grinning at him.  "I don't like gold that much.  I'm much more a platinum and silver person."  Snape looked at him.  "Let Pansy.  She wants to kick his bum."

"Men should not duel girls unless there is no recourse," Draco told him.  "It is unmanly."

Ron looked at Pansy.  "Since when did you become a *girl*?"  She flounced off, huffing in disgust.  "Thanks."  He grabbed his wand and hopped up there.  "One less person standing on my foot."  He bowed to Draco and they moved back to back, pacing off.

***

Dumbledore looked up as Harry walked in.  "Good evening," he said kindly.  "I've got a floo call for you from LA.  Would you like some privacy?"

"No, that's all right," Harry said as he knelt in front of the fire.   "Hi, Cordy."

"Hi, Harry.  Tell the big dork that the house elf is very nice and thank him.  Angel's not having nightmares about her anymore."

"Okay," he said slowly, not understanding that one in the least.  "I will.  What's going on."

She grinned.  "The flea-bitten thing wants a word and only I could get this thing to work since I'm now part demon."  She moved and Sirius' head floated up.

"Hey, Harry," Sirius said, looking slightly tanned, a bit fit, and kinda happy.  "How are things going there?"

"Pretty well," Harry admitted.  "Xander was just showing us how to duel with Professor Snape.  They were going over some of the more advanced things.  Professor Snape still has gold hair and a gold foot."

Sirius laughed.  "If you can take a picture of that, please do."  He glanced at the head next to his.  "You can't go?"

"Nope, sorry.  It'll shut down if I do since your wand is still gone."  She grinned at Harry.  "Dueling?"

"Dueling.  It's an honor thing," Harry told her.  "Apparently my great-uncle is very good at it."  Dumbledore snorted something and got up, leaving them alone.  "Do you like LA?"

"I like it a lot," Sirius admitted. "There's no Ministry over here.  There's also not much in the way of things to do when you don't have a wand."  He gave him a begging look.  "Would you *please* tell Remus to send me my wand if he has it?"

"Sure.  I'll talk with him tonight," Harry promised.  "How's the hunting going?  I heard a few of us were moving now.  Greg and Emilia had to evacuate earlier."

"Dirt!" Cordelia sighed.  "We haven't heard anything yet but I'm sure I will."  She looked at Sirius.  "Would you please tell him that fashion is important.  It's like armor."

"It is," Harry agreed, stunning his godfather.  "Your appearance can be quite a lot of what impact you have on your opponent," Harry reminded him.   "You can change their view of how talented and competent you are with your clothes.  Xander uses it a lot to fool people into thinking he's a harmless klutz."

"He is a harmless klutz," Cordelia told him, giving him a look.  "Even if he becomes Merlin-like, he'll always be a harmless klutz."

"Who won the duel between your great-uncle and Snape?" Sirius asked.

"Xander.  He needed to play more but I think Professor Snape seemed to like it a lot.  He looked happy while they were dueling.  Xander is a lot better than Lockhart was.  Xander actually used something called a hand of power to shove him."

"That's all he used it for?" Sirius asked.  Harry nodded.  "Then he was just toying with him.  It's good to know that Snape's found someone who can beat him again."

Harry snickered.  "They're cousins, Sirius.  Xander's from the generation before Professor Snape but it's like two cherries on the same stem.  Besides, my cousin Holly can do that if my great-uncle doesn't.  You'd like Holly, Cordy, she's like an ungeeky version of Willow, only good."

"And she likes Snape?" Sirius asked.  Harry grinned and nodded.  "Why?"

"Because they suit each other."  Harry shrugged.  "I don't understand otherwise but she helps him in class, she's really nice.  Tara knows her I think."

"Hmm, we'll have to call Tara to get the lowdown on this new chick," Cordelia said thoughtfully.

"I can't believe Snape likes women," Sirius put forth.  "He always seemed very asexual."

"No, I believe they're having hot monkey love to use a Dawn phrase.  Speaking of which, she and Ron are having a bit of a spat."

"Really?" Cordelia asked, sounding casual.  "Why?"

"One of the guys copped a feel and she didn't hit him, only yelled.  Ron's still under the illusion that girls are really different than guys and that they shouldn't look like he still does sometimes."  He remembered who he was talking to.  "Please don't tell Buffy.  She'll kick his bum."

"And then some," Sirius agreed.  "Gold hair?  How did he get gold hair?"

"He originally turned it to lead and gave him a gold foot, then he switched them, and then he replaced the lead foot with the gold foot," Harry told him.  "I can ask Xander if you want.  I doubt it's a very practical skill."

"Actually, the lead thing might be," Cordelia pointed out.  "It'd probably slow something up very well."  A wobbly line went through the floo.  "What was that?"

"Interference," Sirius said.  "We'll let you go, Harry.  Pass on that message for me?"  Harry nodded, grinning at him.  "We'll see you soon, somewhere neutral."

"Bye, studly," Cordelia said, waving at him.  The link dissolved and Harry stood up, finding the headmaster watching him from a student seat on the other side of his desk.  "I didn't think the Americans had someone to interfere with the floo."

"They don't, but we still do," Dumbledore reminded him.  He gave him a little smile. "Is it what you had hoped for when they breached time?"

"It was the only way to save all the people in the city," Harry reminded him.  "Besides, it wasn't my plan.   I didn't have a thing to do with it.  Are they still in the Great Hall?"

Dumbledore nodded, standing up again.  "I'll walk you down, I'd like to see Professor Snape as a blond."  He walked the young man down the stairs and through the school, opening the door quietly and sneaking inside.  Professor Snape was standing beside it.  "Well, you do look good as a blond," he said happily.

Snape glared at him.  "It is only temporary.  Alex will be uncursing me later."

"That's fine.  Though I suppose you could cut it and cash in the gold if it's of good enough quality," he offered.  Snape sneered at him and his smile got brighter.  "Or I suppose you could ask Minerva to do it for you."

"That is a good idea, she can't be too busy tonight.  Alex is having fun teaching the children to be violent."  He left the room, going to have that done quickly.

Harry walked over to where Xander was standing.  "Why was Angel having nightmares about a house elf?"

Draco burst out laughing, leaning against Goyle to hold himself upright.  "Xander," he panted.  "So bad."

Xander sat on the edge of the stage.  "You know how there are some house elfs whose contracts get picked up by not-so-nice people?"  Harry nodded.  "Well, some of them have run away and there are people who capitalize on that.  In this case, I paid a bit extra to free her so she could be Cordy's housekeeper.  Otherwise we'd have to eat off dirty dishes the next time we visited."

"Yeah, but why was he having nightmares?" Harry asked.  Some of the other students were looking at them.  "Cordelia seemed really pleased, she said the house elf was great and thank you."

"I decided to be mean to Angel's poor mental condition again," Xander admitted with his usual sneaky grin, leaning closer.  "Did you know that you could rent a house elf to deliver a strip-o-gram?"  Harry went pale.  "So I paid a little extra to free the darling.  She was very nice when I interviewed her."

"Xander, you didn't," Harry said, looking disgusted.  Xander winked and stood up.  "That's just nasty."

"That's why he's having nightmares," Xander said proudly.  "It's even better than my Lockhart impersonation over the holidays."  He grinned at his consort.  "He helped me find the agency, they'd moved since I sent one to Bill for his birthday."

Ron looked up at him.  "What did you do to the poor, pitiful wanker of a vampire this time?" he asked with a slight smile.

"House elf strip-o-gram," Xander said proudly.  "She was freed right after."  Ron burst out in giggles, along with most of the rest of the students.

Harry shook his head.  "You're one of a kind, Xander Harris."

"I know," he said proudly.  "One of these days, you'll be just like me, Harry."

"Not if Dawn has anything to say about it," Dawn pointed out from her position.  "Xander, you didn't worry that it might make Angel happy?"

"No," he admitted, grinning and winking at her.  "Why would it?"  She shook her head, starting to laugh as well.  "Okay, who's next," he called.  "Up onto the stage and let's do this."

The next set were a pair of girls and they sighed at him as they climbed up there, giving him dopy smiles.  "Yes, sir," they told him.

Draco walked up and spanked Xander.  "That's for the badness.  Gryffindors don't do things like that."

"No, but Slytherins do," Xander reminded him.  "We'll work together on our next prank against Angel, dear."

"We'd better.  Otherwise, Spike might like some of it."

"Not if he knows what's good for him," Dawn said as she joined him, giving Xander a quick hug.  "You are so bad."

"Yes, I am," he agreed proudly.

"This is why I didn't want you to teach," Dumbledore pointed out from the doorway.  "So you wouldn't give the students any such ideas, Alexander."  He left them alone, sure that Severus was coming back.  Though he was laughing as he walked down the hall.  He ran into Minerva and Severus.  "House elf," he told them, still laughing.

"I sense Xander's hand in this," McGonagall pointed out as she led the way into the Great Hall.  "What did you do now, Mr. Dumass?"

"I just heard that the house elf strip-o-gram I sent to Angel worked like a charm," he said, obviously pleased with himself.

"House elf strip-o-gram?" Snape asked.  Xander nodded, still looking a little bit too happy.  "You are an odd duck."

"Harry says I'm one of a kind."

"Yes, because the mold was thankfully tossed out," Minerva told him.  "That poor thing."

"It freed her," Ron said, still grinning.  "She's now their housekeeper and general slime cleaner."

"Still."  She pursed her lips and walked out, laughing herself.  That was too good to miss.  If only they had a viewing portal to capture it.

Snape looked at his cousin.  "You are rotten," he told him.  Xander gave him a smug look so he left him with his delusions of being a 'good boy'.

Charming.

Notes: As always, thanks to Intertran for the wordage.

Kat looked at her school friends.  "No, it was really great," she told them, sitting on the old wooden fence around her school's playyard.  "It was a great big manor house.  I got to play all I wanted outside and all that stuff, they were just kinda weird."

"Weird how?" one of her groupies asked.

"You know that haunted house at Disneyland, the one no one can figure out how they made the ghosts?"  They all nodded.  "Well, they had pictures like that on their walls.  The owner said something about holographic technology and all that, but it was really creepy when the pictures moved or seemed to be visiting each other.  But he explained it away very well.  Then there was the tour," she sighed.  "One of the schools that wanted to see me I don't remember much of.  It was kinda drafty and old, castle like.  One of the students paraded me through it to meet a few of the teachers.  That was my second-choice school though.  My first choice had a friend of the guy I was staying with's step-son leading me around."  She grinned and leaned closer.  "Let me tell you, hot, tight, chocolate are the only words to describe Daryl.  He's an American too, his dad's a cop and they're doing some sort of country-switching plan.  He'll be graduating the end of this year."  She grinned brighter.  "He said it was nice to hear normal speech again but that he *loved* it there.  Not only do you live in the school, thereby getting away from nosy parents, but you only had a small set of rules to follow.  The uniforms were pretty cool, fairly pleasing colors and fabrics, but he was the real reason I'd go over there.  He made it seem so ...hip and cool to go to school like that."

"Then why did you come back early?" one of the other girls asked, pouting slightly.  "Didn't you get to sightsee or anything?"

"Two words. Paranoid.  Mother."  They giggled, knowing Kat's mother's antics from a long time of going to school with her. She rolled her eyes.  "Seriously.  I started to stay with the creepy paintings guy but then he noticed how uncomfortable I was so my guardian had another friend who also had a house over there and so I went to stay with him.  He was kinda crowded because of some sort of celebration they were having but he was nice enough to have me taken around for a few days."  She looked over as someone walked out onto the playground, grimacing.  "Looks like Fedman."

"He's been by once already," one girl hissed.  "And he's looking for you."

"I was perfectly good while I was over there," Kat said, still glaring at the man.  They were off to the side and in a big shadow.  "I'm gonna slip off.  Cover for me."  She slid over the fence and into the landscaping around the playyard.  Then she snuck through the small trees and brushes, heading for the road.  Fortunately, she had her phone on her.  She called her mother first.  "Mom, Fed guys are here.  No, my crew said they were looking for me."  She hung up and headed to where her mother had told her to go, hiding out beside the road until her Mother's boss' Range Rover pulled up.  "Philip," she called, rushing over to get in.  "When did you get back?"

"Nick called, they're in the middle of a case," he said, giving her a smile as he drove on.  "What did you have to leave?"

"My backpack and jacket.  I've got my phone and my ID on me."  She slumped down as they passed the driveway to the school.  "This royally sucks."

"Yeah, and your Ma is still paranoid.  I'm takin' ya out to the island."  He looked at her.  "What did you tell them?"

"Nothing about the freak-o house.  Just that he had paintings like the Disney haunted house that no one knows how they do the ghosts in," she admitted when he glanced at her again.  Philip could tell when she was lying.  "What are you going to do now that you're not a priest?" she asked.

"I'm not sure yet," he admitted.  "Right now, I'm doin' some studyin' for someone.  After that, I might just go back to college, get my Ph. D."  He shrugged as he turned onto another road.  "Who knows right now."

"Maybe you should pray over it," Kat suggested.

"Maybe," he agreed, smiling at her.  "How's your head?"

"Just fine.  Why?"

"Because they darted someone the other day while trying to get him."

"He didn't even see me.  I was in my usual watching post."

"That's not a half-bad idea," Philip told himself.  They made their way back through the city, heading down to the ferry docks.  "Shite."  He pulled out Kat's cellphone and dialed the house.  "Derek, it's me.  I've got Kat.  No, they're buggin' the ferry.  Where does she need to go?"  He grimaced.  "Are you *sure*?  What about her Ma?  She'll throw another fit."  He heard shrieking in the background and sighed, handing the phone to her.  "Listen to the argument for me, I'm gonna pull in somewhere safe to wait."  He pulled into a nearby parking garage, one that gave him a view of the docks and the entry, just in case.

"Mom, stop it," Kat said sharply.  "Geez, you'd think that you'd know better than that by now," she said with a great deal of disgust.  "Oh, quit!  I'm sixteen, mother.  I know my own mind on that matter already."  She pulled the phone away from her ear.  "For you.  Mom's being a bit irrational again."

Philip took the phone back, hearing the screaming.  "Stop it," he said sharply.  She quit.  "Doing that isn't solvin' anything.  Now quit!"  He smirked as Derek took the phone back.  "Maybe you should sedate her or something."  He chuckled and reached over to pat Kat on the head.  "So then she doesn't like you and Nick either?"

"She probably is in denial over it," Kat said, slumping down a bit.  Another car was parking down the way and she didn't know those people either.  "This sucks, I don't want to be afraid for my life."

"Yeah, well, you were safer in London," he told her.  He listened to the click that meant he was coming off the loudspeaker and sighed.  "She was," he told the person on the other end.   He smiled at Rachel's assertion that she wanted her daughter near her.  That she was her best defense.  "Including against the Fed's on the ferry?"  He listened to them discussing it on the other end, looking down at the entry of the parking garage.  Someone down there had a listening dish.  "Shite, we'll call back," he said, hanging up.  "Let's go," he said, pushing her down as he started the engine.  He went the normal speed, not wanting a high-speed chase and also not wanting to draw any extra attention.  Once he had paid the attendant and left, they pulled onto the street again and took off.  "Okay, it might be safe.  We've got tinted windows."  She slid back up and buckled in again.  "You okay?"

"Majorly freaked," she admitted.  "Nothing more."  She pointed at an intersection two down from their present location.  "Is that Nick?"

Philip shook his head.  "Nick's at your Ma's fixing her security system.   He was drivin' this one today."  He touched his arm when the light turned red, getting an answer.  "He's still at your Ma's, it's a copy."  A copy down to the license plate.  He drove her off, heading for a safer place he knew.  It had payphones.  When he got there, he left the engine running but took the keys with him as he went to call the island again.  "They had a copy of Nick's car," he reported when the phone was answered.  Rachel started to cry.  "Where, Rachel?"  He listened.  "That's fine then.  Sloan'll gladly take her in.  Send her passport over there, got it?"  She gave an assent so he hung up and went to turn off the engine and pull Kat to him.  "I know you had a bad portkey last time, this time we'll have to do it though.  I can promise he won't try it again because we're not going there first."  She gave him a trusting look and a nod.  "Okay, let's go."  He created the portkey and put his arm around her, taking off after taking a quick glance around.  This time, he picked the biggest center of mystical convergence of good he could.  Diagon Alley.  He appeared and held her steady while she shook and had a few dry heaves.  "Didn't like lunch?"

"Hated lunch," she groaned, straightening up.  She looked up at him.  "Where are we?"

"Behind the twin's shop."  He tweaked her ear.  "C'mon, let's go see the twins."

"Let her have some tea first," a male voice called.  "I'm in the kitchen."

"Thanks."  He led Kat into the kitchen area, sitting her down gently.  "The Feds came for her."

"But I thought Ron said she was mute magically."

"She is, but she's in the other category and they probably don't know the difference," Philip pointed out as he pulled the whistling tea kettle off the stove.  "No business?"

"Tea break.  Fred's dealing with a hysterical wife out in front."  He held up his cup, letting Philip pour the warmed liquid into it.  "I know it's not the official way to do it, but we put it in there to warm it back up for you."  He dropped in a sugar cube and stirred it slowly.  "So, Katherine, how was school?" he asked.  She giggled.  "I'm getting in practice for our twins."

Fred came back, hair messed up.  "I put her into bed and made her take a lie down," he said, grabbing his mug and some tea to go back out front.  He gave Kat a pat on the head as he passed.  "Nice to have you back.  Tom had a muggle phone put in just outside the Leaky."

"Good," Philip agreed.  "I've got my cell though."

"It won't work in the alley," George reminded him, grinning slightly as his twin left.  "Especially not in here."  He looked at Kat again.  "Feeling better?"

"Slightly."  She looked at him.  "Why do they want me?  I gave up magic."

"Yes, but you still have the potential," Philip reminded her.  "Plus, they probably can't tell the difference between a seer and us."

"See, there's three classifications," George told her.  "Two main ones, wandless or wand- using magic users.  We call them external or internal.  You were an external before you bound yourself.  Then there's the other category."  He took a sip of his tea.  "It includes things and people who can use magic, but don't do it the way either of the first two do."

"Some demons, some seers, some people like you," Philip agreed.  "They've already started on the 'other' category in the past by going after the harmless demons to get them to work for them."  She opened her mouth.  "Not the sort we deal with, Kat, the more corporeal ones.  The ones from the other dimensions.  Not the Host of Hell we deal with."

"Oh."  She sipped her tea, adding some sugar after taking a sip.  "So, I'm an other?"  They nodded. "Can I break my binding?"

"That would put you back as an external," George offered.  "Seers who use magic are firmly between their two groups.  You could, but it might not help."

"No, but it'd give me a means of self-defense," Kat pointed out.  "Besides carrying a big, huge, honkin'-ass weapon."

"Which you won't be able to do over here," George pointed out gently.  He looked at Philip.  "At least Daryl goes to the school most squibs go to."

"True," Philip agreed.

"Squib?"

"Non-magical person born into a magical family," George told her.

"Oh, so if one of your brothers was born without it, they'd be a squib?"  He nodded.  "Okay.  Understanding that remark more."  She looked at Philip.  "Won't that draw attention?"

"Not really.  The Headmistress there is used to dealing with magical families," Philip told her.  "A good third of the students are squibs."  He looked at George.  "They'd still have to call for records."

"They would," he admitted.  "Can't they get around that?  Placement tests or something?"

"Derek has a copy of my grades," Kat told him.  "It's part of my personnel file."

"That's another thing, you don't want to mention the Legacy, Kat.  Everyone here knows what they do, but they're not well liked.  Derek's Da caused a few hellacious splits," Philip told her.  He gave her a small hug.  "Fortunately, Sloan liked this school too and we can get Derek to pay for everything."  He stood up.  "You wait right here."  She nodded.  "I'm gonna call Sloan and have him call Derek.  He won't expect us in yet."  He walked out of the shop, heading out of the alley and outside.  He looked around the street, noticing there were two cop cars.  "Shit.  Who got us into trouble today?" he complained.  He dialed the London house.  "Sloan, it's Philip.  We're here.  Is Derek still under siege?"  He smirked.  "No, there were Feds on the ferry and one came to her school.  She's here again. With the twins."  He choked.  "Excuse me?"  He sighed.  "Can't Derek handle that?"  He relaxed.  "Thank you.  I'm not a kidnaper," he pointed out.  "I was saving the girl."  He listened to the explanation of how the Feds were saying she was kidnaped.  "That's fine then.  You fix this and I'll be hiding."  He glanced around, stepping back into the shadows to lean against the side of the building because the cop cars were coming back.  "Any instructions yet?"  He grinned.  "That's what we were thinkin'.  Yeah, some of ours go there anyway so she's used ta it.  Definitely. That's fine, tell me what we need?  I can so," he said sharply.  "That's fine, then we can go to Scotland Yard and tell them what's going on."  He hung up and went back inside, shaking his head at Tom's look.  "The Americans are bad," he shared, leaning on the bar.  "I had to go rescue a kid's friend who's a seer.  They've decided to tell everyone I kidnaped her."  Tom handed him a stout without a word said.  "Thanks, Tom."

"You looked like you needed it," he said with a smile.  "Gonna go turn yourself in?"

"Maybe."  Philip sipped it.  "Have any of us been through?"

"Nah, not today.  Even Dumass has been busy.  His cousin restarted their dueling club."  Philip snorted.  Tom looked toward the door.  "Where is she?"

"With the twins," he said, looking that way himself.  "Crap, wonderful thing, the internet."  He looked at the cop standing in the doorway.  "Come on over."  The cop walked over.  "Hey, Philip Callahan," he said, shaking his hand. "I was rescuing her.  She's gifted."

"Oh."  The cop looked impressed.  "So why were they saying she was kidnaped?"

"Because it's the Feds who came for her," Tom told him.  He went to turn off the floo for a moment, then thought better of it.  "Philip, take him upstairs for a few, let me send to the twins to get her."  Philip nodded, taking his stout with him.  "One of you lot go get the twins, we need the girl here," he told them.  "The floo'll be goin' off for a few minutes."  Someone ran off while he finished locking down the place for a bit.

Philip led the way into the sitting room, flopping down onto an old couch.  "How did you get in?"

"My brother is one of you, sir," he said dryly.

"Ah.  Kat's a seer.  The Americans are goin' after us all."

"Shit."  He hung his head.  "Were you willing to come down and clear this up?"

"Sure," Philip agreed.  "I can even give you the number where her Ma is."  He looked up again.  "I have no doubt they've tapped the phones, but we've got friends over here."

"Thank you, sir.  We understand how hard this must be."

"Not an issue," Philip admitted.  He took a sip.  "Me portkeying in might be however."

"Oops."  He chuckled.  "Well, that'll mean they'll have to explain the time difference somehow."  He smiled as Kat was walked in.  "You're all right?"

"Philip didn't steal me, he saved me," she told him.  "Philip, the bartender said there were more outside."

"Not a problem," he promised, putting down his mug and pulling his wand to clean his teeth.  "Come on," he said, standing up and putting an arm around her shoulders.  "You too," he told the cop.  They walked out, waving at Tom.  "Another day in the life," he quipped.  Tom chuckled, shaking his head as he watched them go.

"They'll forget the address again," the cop assured him.  "We always do, anything on this street."  He walked out after Philip, waving off the person ordering Philip to get onto the ground.  "He didn't snatch her," he called.  "He was saving her from someone who wanted to snatch her.  He's an old family friend."  His boss put down the megaphone and looked at him.  "Really.  We can call her Ma and check."

"I called their hotline."

Kat snorted.  "That would be run by the people who wanted me," she told him, leaning against Philip.  "Philip's an old family friend.  You notice my mom hasn't been on tv yet?  She's one who'd jump first and then ask questions."

"Good enough.  We're still gonna separate you," the officer in charge told her, smiling at her.  "That okay with you?"

"Not really.  How do I know the Feds haven't gotten to you guys too?"  They looked stunned.  "I'm gifted," she said quietly.

"Oh.  Oh!"  He nodded.  "We've had an influx of people like you recently.  You can ride in my car," he promised.  "If I disappear, my whole unit shuts down.  Good enough?"  He pulled out his wallet and showed a picture of his two kids."

Kat felt something funny and looked, glancing at another officer.  "I know your type," she told him.  He blanched.  "I'm Katherine, Derek Rayne's pseudo-niece."  The man bowed over her hand, kissing the back of it.   "Thank you.  Are you here to harm me?"

"No, my dear, I'm here to figure out what's going on."

She leaned closer.  "There's a sweep for all of those like us," she told him.  He shuddered.  "Deal?"

"I won't hurt you, Katherine, I'm not Ethan."

"I met Ethan, he's a bit disgusting but fairly obvious."  He nodded.  "Thank you.  Who's safe?"

"The commander is.  Your escort is as well.  I'd trust such a white-lighter any day."

She grinned.  "I know.  Philip got to answer a lot of awkward questions for me in my youth."  She went back to the commander's side.  "Sorry, making a non-aggression treaty."

"That's fine, Katherine, come along," he said, letting her into his car.  He watched as Philip was put into the front of another one.   His men knew the truth usually so he'd believe this one for a bit longer.  "Do you have your mom's number?"

Kat looked at him.  "I'm sixteen, dude, not six."  He laughed as he drove them off. "But yeah, I've probably even still got my cellphone."  She patted herself down. "Or not, I guess I left it in the SUV."  One appeared on her lap and she smiled.  "But I seem to have Philip's.  Should I call my mom or should I call the local people my mom sent me to?"

"Go ahead and call the local people.  I'd like to have a neutral adult over here to watch over you," he suggested.  And it would give them a chance to see if this was a greater conspiracy.

Kat picked up the phone and looked at the phone book, finding a listing for 'Alex'.  She dialed it.  "Hi, Auntie Des.  It's Kat.  We're back in the UK and we just got arrested because the Feds announced Philip had kidnaped me."  She had to pull the phone away from her ear.  "No, it's okay.  We're not under arrest, we're going to Scotland Yard.  Can you send Uncle Nick down?"  She laughed.  "Okay, if he's not available, then how about Blair or someone from London?"  She grinned.  "Good deal.  Thanks, Auntie Des."  She hung up.  "One more."  She dialed the London House from memory, getting a wrong number.  So she checked Philip's recent outgoing log and found it.  She dialed it and sighed.  "Morgan, put on Sloan."  The cop stopped the car and looked at her. "What?" she asked.  "William Sloan is my sorta-uncle's best friend."  She listened to someone grumping on the other end.  "Hi, Uncle William, it's Kat, again.  We're in the UK, heading for Scotland Yard.  You wanna come help with this since the Feds said that Philip kidnaped me?"  She laughed and handed over the phone since he wasn't driving.  "For you."

"Hello?" he asked cautiously.  "Really?"  He swallowed.  "Of course."  He heard the real reason and started to shake.  "I understand.  No, I'll tell them that she's safe.  That we've determined that it isn't a kidnaping after talking to the girl and her family.  Yes, Mr. Sloan, thank you, Mr. Sloan."  He handed it back.  "He said we're to bring both of you to him, right now. " She nodded, putting the phone back in her pocket.  "Then they're going to hide you better, young lady."  He looked at her.  "I know what they deal with, kind of, what do you do?"

"I'm a seer," Kat said honestly.

"Shit."  He started driving again, telling everyone to go home but to bring Philip with him.  Then he pulled out an ear bud and used it to call his boss.  Who called his boss, who called up the chain to the PM's office, who then called the Americans and called them stupid idiots and told them to stop it before they revoked their independence.  Amazingly enough, the story stopped later that night with a notice that the girl hadn't been kidnaped, the person who had her had been saving her from someone else.

***

Daryl looked up as his name was called over the PA system, nodding at his teacher that he was going to go.  She let him out of the room and he jogged up to the office. It must have been big to call him out of a class.  He found a young woman standing in the office, wearing the school uniform.  "Hey, Kat," he said, giving her a hug.  "I thought your Mom pulled you home."

"She did, and then the Federal Bureau of Idiots came for me because I'm a seer," she told him.

"Wow."  He looked at the Headmistress.  "I take you understand that sort of thing?"

"Traditionally, the non-magical members of magical families have come to us," she said calmly.  "We understand those in the 'other' category as well."  She smiled at them.  "Daryl, I'm putting her into your house.  Would you please escort her around for the rest of the day?  I'll have her schedule tomorrow and I'll have one of her teachers put her with a helpful one in her own year."

"That's fine," Daryl agreed.  "It's getting me out of reading in Literature."  He took Kat by the arm, leading her out.  "Bags?"

"They were brought to the house."

"Cool.  Let's go there first so you can drop your hat and cloak."  He led her that way, going up to the main doorway.  "This is Grayson House.  You'll like it in here.  We've got a kick- ass band starting in your year."  He let her inside and up to the girls' side, showing her the room she would be sharing.  "I know it's a dorm, but it's usually all right.  Also," he said, pointing at a bed with a jacket on it.  "Get to know her.  She's nice, not snarky or mean, and she's pretty cool overall."  Kat nodded, putting her hat and cloak down onto her bed.  "Come on, it's one more class until dinner but I think we can get you something to nibble."

"I'm okay waiting for a few hours.  William gave me tea on the way up."

Daryl nodded.  "We do that once a week here to teach us the proper etiquette.  It's usually Friday afternoons, sorta a break at the end of the day.  Then we have a late dinner that night."  He led her back down.  "Let's see, we did the main areas during your last tour so let's do some of the classrooms.  Any idea what you'll be taking?"

"I was taking Advanced Algebra," she offered.  "Chemistry because my mom demanded, and two English classes."

"Here you'll only get Literature," he warned, leading her that way.  "This way I can pick up my own school bag.  Things are a little different here from the American system but it's clear that we warped it."

"I've always went to private schools, just never a boarding school," she assured him.  "I understand about the power hierarchy and all that good stuff."

"You won't find too much of that in our house but in the others it's a pain."  He tapped on the door and the teacher came out.  "This is Katherine, she'll be starting tomorrow.  Can I get my bag?"

"Of course, Daryl," she said, her Canadian accent very soft from years of being over here.  She shook the young woman's hand.  "Nice to meet you, Katherine."

"You can call me Kat," she offered, giving her a smile.  "Are you the head of our house?"

The teacher laughed.  "Not exactly.  I'm over one of the other ones, but I'm the counselor for all the students who are squibs."

Kat grimaced.  "I'm not quite like that," she said, pulling the teacher down the hall a few steps.  William had told her to level with them.  "I'm one of the ones they were trying to get in the sweep, but I've bound myself."  The teacher nodded, still smiling.  "And I have the Sight."

"Oh."  She looked so happy and hugged her.  "I've got a few others like you around here.  Don't worry, we're mostly a clique unto ourselves.  Try to get along, dear, a few of them are rather...odd sometimes."

Kat grinned.  "I've done private school my whole career."

"That will help you some," she agreed, leading her back to Daryl.  "Are you showing her around?"

"Until her schedule is set tomorrow," Daryl told her.  "Then she'll have someone in her own year."

"Good.  Excellent in fact," she said, patting Kat on the back.  "You just run along and have some fun.  Both of you.  You'll have more than enough time tonight to learn where everything is, Katherine.  Go play while there's sun."  Daryl nodded, taking her that way.  "Such a nice young woman, and American too," she said as she went back to her class.

***

Philip looked at Sloan.  "Thanks," he said quietly as they drove away.

"It's not a problem, Philip.  What the government over there is doing is wrong.  It makes me ill.  I have a great desire to correct it."

"And to help Derek?" Philip asked, giving him a long look.  Sloan grimaced back.  "It was rather obvious, William."

"It was a long time ago, Philip, and I could never give him what Nick does - someone to make him feel young again.  How is he?"

"He was needed so he's fixing Rachel's alarm system.  We expect him back in a few days if nothing serious comes up."

"I'm sending Kristen back there for a while to help Derek while Nick's on leave from his house.  We want this war solved first, Philip.  There's every chance that the sweeps will slow down if that happens."

"They won't stop?"

"I don't think they'll stop fully until the present power structure is out of office.  That means electing a president who has a different set of puppet masters.  I'm not sure if any of the current candidates have that."

"One never knows until they show their hand," Philip agreed.  "I know one's been courted by a demon, a higher up. " William shook his head and groaned.  "I know, but it makes sense."  He grinned.  "It could be much worse.  One could be a direct minion or consort."

"I know, but it's still bad," William reminded him.  He smiled.  "What are you going to do now?"

"Right now, I've still got some research to do.  After that, who knows," Philip said dryly.  "I haven't decided yet."

"You could go to the Watcher's Council.  They always need people who can translate."

"I'd have to work hard to change some things.  I've heard some bad things about how they treat the girls."

"Us as well," William agreed.  "Or you could go down into the basement lair tonight and pick up the book that's down there. It came addressed to you in a lead box."

"I can do that as well," Philip agreed.  This was a positive sign.  Maybe his meditation last night had been helpful after all.  "When did it come in?"

"Right after you left last time.  It seems it was necessary."  Philip's phone beeped and they both looked at it.  "Anyone you know?"

"Dumass Glen," he said, answer it.  "Hello?"  He smiled.  "Hi, Alex.  No, we dropped Kat off at school and then we're heading back to London."  He looked at William, then shrugged.  "I don't care to.  What's going on?  What do you mean you were sent a book of Thinial?" he demanded.  "By who?"  His mouth fell open.  "Since when!"  He laughed suddenly.  "That's too good, mate.  I'll be in soon."  He looked at William, who was instructing the driver to stop for a moment, as he hung up his phone.   "Alex got sent a book done entirely in Thinial.  It's an ancient magic language.  Said to predate Atlantis."  William looked impressed.  "The curse breakers only get some minor lessons in use- language."

"Things like 'bad, good, and don't touch'," their driver/bodyguard asked, turning to look at him.

"That and things like 'archive, storeroom, and weapons'," Philip agreed.  He looked at Sloan.  "This is older than Linear A and B."

"Go," William said tolerantly, shaking his hand.  "Check in with us each week, Philip, so we know you're living."

"Thank you, William."  He got out of the car, patting himself down.

The window went down.  "I'll send you everything," he offered.

Philip smiled.  "Great."  He apparated into the library, startling a house elf.  "Sorry.  The book?"

"The dark arts study," she said, covering her ears.  "Dunnie not hear or see yous.  Mistress be very mad."

"Thanks."  He jogged that way, smiling at Des.  "You called?" he asked. Xander handed over the book carefully, a shocking thing.  He had thought the boy would toss it.  "Let me see," he said, moving closer to a lamp.  "There's something on the pages," he said, running his finger over the engraved lines.  "Hmm."  He went back to his looking.  "Definitely in Thinial."

"The big problem is that the Runes teacher is having a Budge moment," Xander told him, leaning on the back of the couch.  "She and the Goblins have a very different translation of about a third of the glyphs.  We've had a few stunning arguments before I gave the boys my notes on what they were really."

Philip looked at him.  "No one ever said we were experts," he pointed out gently.  He went back to touching the marks. "I'm not sure what this is."

"Blair said the same thing," Xander admitted.  "Then he got really frustrated and went to look for reference books in the Gringott's library with my ID.  I'm guessing they don't have anything since they're the ones who sent it to me to work on."

"It's a life's work all in one small book," Des told him.

"Yeah," Philip said happily.  He looked at him.  "What do you think it is?"

Xander came over, touching one of the lines.  "That's map coordinates.  The lines etched into the paper underneath seem to be a height measurement of some kind but I can't be sure since I've never seen this before.  None of my caves or tombs have had etched in extra writing." Philip nodded so Xander carefully turned a page.  "This is definitely a map, but I'm not sure of where.  Unless Middle Earth really exists, then it's somewhere else."

"I know someone who might have an idea," Philip admitted.  He looked at Xander, who groaned.  "How strong was that memory compulsion?"

"I set mine so they'd remember if I ever had to show back up.  I do that with people I think I'm going to need the next time we run into each other.  Danny had an extra one put on by the goblins."

"Hmm."  Philip shrugged.  "I'll help Blair and Draco."

"You can't steal my mate and turn him into a total book nerd," Xander complained.

"I'm not, but he is good at this stuff and this'll be his life's work," Philip reminded him, starting to smile.  "Your lip's hangin' down, Xander."

"Fine," he sighed.  "Sandburg's going to come up to our library afterwards to look for more references.  Come back with me."

"Sure."  Philip put the book back into the box and followed him.  "Love you, Des," he called over his shoulder.

"Boys," she said, shaking her head.  One of the house elves laughed.  "I know, he's too old to be called one, but he still acts like he's a teenager."  She tidied the desk up a bit, finding the current stack of bills.  She sat down to look them over.  Some of them were very high.  She called Draco, holding up the grocery bill.

"Xander pays them this weekend," he said, smiling at her.  "That's not too bad.  He's not complaining."

"It's very high."

"A gallon of milk costs two dollars and some," Draco told her.  She blinked in shock.  "Really.  Inflation.  Don't worry about it."

"We should start the farm back up," she told him.  He shrugged.  "Do you think Alex would mind?"

"I have no idea," Draco admitted.  "I know he's gotten over riding a lot.  Other than that, I don't know."  He grinned.  "Are you coming up for our first game?"

"Of course," she said firmly.  "Have someone save us a few spots."  She waved and then kept the connection from closing. "Draco, Philip will be looking for you soon.  Alex got sent a book in Thinial."  His face nearly split from the smile.  "They should be heading for the school's library."

He nodded and signed off, then picked up his things.

"Mr. Malfoy-Dumass, class is not over," Professor McGonagall told him, sounding a bit pissed.

He grinned at her.  "That was Des.  Xander got sent a book in Thinial. He's looking for me with Philip."

"A whole book?" she asked.  He nodded.  "How large?"

He shrugged.  "She didn't say, but Philip's helping him with it so we don't have any more incidences with the Runes teacher and her funny interpretations."  He gathered up his things.  "I'm going to library.  Give me detention if it pleases you."  He hurried out, jogging up the stairs until he could pounce his mate and give him a hug.  This meant someone thought his consort was the best person for the job.  This was great!  It was recognition of his brilliance!  This would mean more work in less messy areas of the world!  No more deserts!  He pounced Xander, giving him a hug.  "I'm so happy for you."

Xander beamed and cuddled him back.  "I am too.  This is a great thing."

"No snugglin' in the library," Philip reminded them, pulling down some reference books.  He put most of them back after a look at the table of contents.  "Budge."

"He managed to mistranslate a few languages," Xander explained at Draco's curious look.  "He's the one the Runes teacher is listening to instead of the goblins who found it and worked on it for years before Budge even heard there was an ancient language."

Ron and Harry ran in and looked at the stack of books.  "Runes?"

"Thinial," Draco said proudly, patting Xander gently.  "Someone sent him a whole book of it.  None of it's decoded."

"Wow," Ron said, smirking at Xander.  "I guess we're doing book work for the next year?"

"Possibly," he agreed, looking at Harry.  His great-nephew looked a bit clueless.  "This means that we're considered the best team for the job," he explained.

"That means no more deserts," Draco agreed.  Harry and Xander both laughed at that and Harry gave his uncle a hug.  "Where should we start?"

"I'll need your textbook," Philip told him.  "Plus whatever sheet Alex has given you lot."  Ron pulled his out of his bag, they had been in Runes.  Philip looked at it and groaned.  "What happened to the old ones?"

"Forgotten in the sands of time," Xander told him.  "My year didn't have a Runes teacher so we didn't have a copy of the texts," he admitted.  "I took it as an elective theory class. I worked out of the library."

"Can we go to Flourish and Blott's?" Harry asked.  "Would they have anything?"

"The less books we have to buy the easier it'll be," Philip told him.  "But we might have to.  Madam Pince?" he called.  She looked down from the upper level.  "Do you have any of the Runes books from our year?  The ones not by Budge?"

She grimaced.  "We have one in the Restricted section but it's not a textbook.  It's a diary of a conjurer."  Philip and Alex both shuddered.  "I know there are some.  I could contact the publishers to see if we can get you some.  Did you want to buy them?"

"We probably should," Xander told her.  "Just to donate to the school if for no other reason."

Draco beamed at her.  "He got sent a book of Thinial, non-decoded, to work on."

"Congratulations," she said, beaming at them.  "I'm sure Philip and Blair will be a great help to you."

"We could get Hermione and Dawn to come help tonight," Ron offered.

"Yes, you could," Philip agreed.  "This isn't going to a short thing.  The book's thick and heavy.  Also, it's got etched in words underneath it in something else.  I can't be sure it's Thinial yet," he told Xander.  "One of the pages I touched had something like Linear B."

"Eww," Xander told him.

"I know, but it's sometimes necessary."  He looked at the librarian.  "Do we have *anybody* that you know of who can do things like that?"

"Not that I know of," she told him.

"We could see if Greg knows a muggle way to solve that problem, maybe bring up an image of the tracings," Harry offered.

"Great idea, Potter," Draco praised.  He was too happy to worry about him having praised that one.  "Let me do that.  Shall I tell Professor Snape as well?"

"Hopefully it's not a potion," Xander told him, looking very serious.  "I think it's map coordinates but I can't be sure."

"Fine, don't let me brag."

"Hey, brag away," Xander told him.  "And while you're at it, go ask Methos if he knows any of it."  Draco nodded, going to do that.

Madam Pince looked down at them.  "I'm sure you'll figure it out, Alex.  If you need my help, let me know."  She went back to shelving books from last night's studying.

***

Draco walked into the teacher's lounge.  These two had time off together this year.   Both teachers gave him a look, as did the Headmaster, who was having a game of chess with Methos.  "My consort just got sent a book of Thinial, completely not-decoded," he announced.

Methos looked stunned.  "Not decoded in the least?"  Draco shook his head.  "Dirt!"

"What?" Draco asked.

"I've always wanted to see one of those going on and it'll take forever to decode it."  He grimaced.  "That's not fair."

"So go look," Draco told him impertinently. He smirked at his head of house.  "It's also got some tracings underneath the words."

"I doubt we could do it with charcoal," Snape put forth.  He touched his arm, waking Greg up from a nap.  He laughed, sending back what was going on.  Then he looked at Draco.  "He'll ask around but don't expect a lot of help."

"Potter thought there might be some muggle technology that could help with that.  Something about images?"

Snape shrugged.  "He'll look.  It may take him a few days."

"That's fine," Draco agreed.  "Do we have an expert in Thinial that's not Budge?  Or do you have your old Runes book?  Philip wanted it."

"In my personal study," Snape told him.  "I'll bring it up to the library."

"Thank you, Professor.  Professor Methos, are you coming up?"

"After classes," he told him.  "I can't be of much help, I wasn't even aware that magic was real back then.  I didn't figure that part out until Greece."

"That's fine."  Draco went back to the library.  "Good news, Professor Snape has his old textbook still," he announced.  "He's willing to lend it to us.  Professor Methos said he can't be of any help, he didn't know magic existed until he was in Greece."  He sat down beside his consort, subtly leaning against his side.  He'd have to reward him later if his mate didn't forget to talk to him in the excitement.  Xander reached down and gave his knee a gentle caress, making Draco very happy.  Xander wouldn't work all the time and not give him any attention.

***

Blair walked in and sat down at the large table, putting his contribution down. "How did Budge get such a foothold?"

"Easy, he's easy to understand," Xander said dryly, looking at him.  "Can I have my book back, Philip?  Please?"

"In a sec," Philip said, feeling the edges of the page.  "There's some sort of notation down here in English."  He grimaced.  "Someone's tied to decode it before."  He slid it over, turning it so Xander could touch the same spot.

"I'm not good at Braille," Xander warned but he did touch it.  "How can you tell?"

"Trace the lines like you would a carving," Blair offered.  He checked his watch.  "Crap, I'm gonna be late for class.  I've already canceled one today."  He hurried off.  "Xander, if you can't get that, I know someone to talk to," he called as he walked out.

"I wonder if that's why Jim said he bounces," Ron told Harry.  Harry grinned at him.  "Where do we start?"

"We start with a magical copying spell," Philip told him.  "We'll give you each a page. Start by putting in what you know some of them are.  They can change in context but not that much."  They nodded and stared at Xander.  "Alex?" he asked quietly.

"I can't tell," he admitted, handing it back.  "Me too?  Do I only get a page?"

"I figured we'd go page by page," Philip said, giving him a smile.  "We can have two each."  Xander grinned at that and Philip copied the pages for them, putting them onto normal parchment.  "All right, don't use black ink, boys.  Let's start with purple," he said, pulling over the purple ink and some spare quills he had gathered earlier.

"We could each do a color," Draco offered.  "That way you would know who screwed up what."

"That'll become blinding," Philip pointed out.  "We'll all stick to one, do revisions in another, and do a final one in a third.  That way we don't get confused."  He handed out the pages, making sure they were numbered.  Then he went to hand the book to the librarian so she could put it somewhere safe until they'd need more pages.  He came back to find Xander already making notes on his.  "What are you doing?"

"Most times, Thinial comes in groupings.  Sort of like sentences without the punctuation.  They always ended with a verb and I know most of them so I'm separating out the groupings."  He glanced up.  "It's how I work best, Philip."

"That's fine, Xander.  I had forgotten that they didn't use punctuation."  He sat down to do the same with Ron's, then Harry's, then Draco's, numbering each one so they could write out lines further down the parchment.  "How's that?"

"A good idea," Draco admitted.  "Now I can figure out where I am."  He blocked off a grouping, looking in the textbook he had claimed to start on what he knew.  He also marked which word it was in the sentence.  It made it a lot easier on him.  His whole page only had three glyphs that were in the book so he'd have a lot to do.  He looked down at Ron and Harry.  Ron seemed to have a page-full of things he could already translate.  "Did I get the harder one?"

Philip looked at him.  "Thinial is very progressive.  It starts out with a standard entrance about them and who they were.  Then it moves on to introduce the topic of the tomb or cave.  That's always within the introduction.  But yes, you got a page right after it.  I figured they'd get tired sooner."

"True," Harry agreed, marking his own page.  Now he was glad Xander was making them learn both forms instead of just the one in the class.  "Philip, will our NEWTs have Budge on them?"

"They might, depending on who updated it," Xander told him.  "Mine was more of an on- your-own class so I only had a written.  The goblins gave me an oral exam."

"Ours had a bit of Budge but not all of it," Philip told him.  "You can write and ask if you have a doubt, or ask the tester when they come in."

"I might have to write and ask," Harry admitted.  "The teacher will never accept the non- Budge interpretation."

"Yeah, she and Xander got into a few spectacular fights," Ron agreed.  "She started out saying that this might be a bit different and Xander countered all but four that first day."

"Five," Xander told him.  "By then I was hoarse."  He looked up.  "Did you know that Budge said the 'archive' glyph meant food?"  He looked down and cleaned off the blot of ink.  Then he summoned his school bag and pulled out his special muggle pens, handing them out to his crew.  "Here, they won't drip, like mine did."  He looked at Philip.  "Do you remember what that one was?" he asked, pointing at it.  "I thought it was meat but I'm not sure."

Philip looked at it.  "Without the purple, as long as there was a dot of some kind, it meant deer."

"It didn't have a dot," Xander told him.

Philip smiled. "Then it probably still meant deer, just baby deer.  The word before it was hunt."

"Okay."  Xander put that one in red instead of green.  All of his sure ones went down in green.  Anything he wasn't sure of went in red.  "Red is for maybes, green is for positives," he ordered.

"That works too," Draco agreed, cleaning his parchment and rewriting the few he had.

***

Hermione, Dawn, Luna, and Ginny walked in with the crew after dinner.  "A whole book?" Luna asked.  Xander nodded.  "I've got to help with that.  May I?"

"Sure," Xander agreed. "That means less work for us."  She hugged him and skipped off to get the book from the librarian so she could copy her own page.  She came back with ten pages of newly copied text, handing them out to the four women and putting the rest onto the middle of the table.  "Thanks, Luna," he said, handing out the new sets of pens he had ran out to get.  "Green is for sure ones, red is for maybes.  We'll use the purple for corrections and the blue for the final draft."  Everyone nodded.  He sat down with his journal, writing out the meanings he already had and what page he had.  Then he started on the next line.

"You've obviously had to do this before, Xander, any other suggestions?" Hermione asked as she pulled out her notes and Ron's copy of the non-Budge translations.

"Yeah, expect to want something to nibble," he warned.  "I usually do within an hour."

"Not in the library," Luna warned.  "She's a beast about that sort of thing.  Even in the back rooms."

"We could work in a classroom or down in the room where Xander was teaching courtly graces," Harry offered, getting down to work.  "Xander, dueling club tonight."

"I know," he admitted.  "Tell me when it's time.  I get lost."

"Sure," Ginny told him. "Can you teach me that gold charm?  That way I can use it on some of my own hair?"

"Unless your hair has no oils on it, it won't be very good in grade," Philip told her absently, still working.  "You can't usually cash it in.  Someone tried to cash in their foot once and the goblins got really ticked off at them."  He smiled and marked another glyph, moving onto the next one.  "I've missed this."

"So work for a translating firm," Luna suggested.  "They're supposed to make good money."

"I specialize in ancient," Philip pointed out.

"So do French," Xander offered.  "And work with some museums."

"Maybe," Philip agreed.

An hour later someone cleared their throat.  "Dumass, we did have a meeting tonight," Snape said dryly.

"Nearly done with this word, I'm conjugating," Xander said, finally putting down what he thought it was.  It was some form of 'have'.  He put everything aside and tapped people.  "Dueling club?"  Most everyone got up and went to that.  Luna even went, but she was reading a book as she walked.  Philip agreed to come as well, he needed a break, his neck was sore.

"Let me, Philip," Harry said quietly while they waited, working on his neck muscles for him.  Philip moaned, drawing attention.  "We've been bent over a table studying," he told everyone.  They went back to what they had been doing.  "How's that?"

"Thanks, Harry.  Sorry to have you busted," he said quietly.

Harry grimaced.  "I like girls."

"I know you do," Philip agreed with a smile.  "Some day you'll find one that'll knock you for a loop."  He turned back around at Snape's cleared throat.  "Sorry."

"Thank you."  He looked at him.  "Would you like to come up and demonstrate this move?"

"I can," Philip agreed.  "I haven't dueled in nearly forever."  He hopped up onto the stage and took off his overshirt, tossing it to Dawn to hold.  Then he pulled his wand and bowed.  They went back to back and paced off the three steps, then turned and Philip paused.  Snape waved his wand.  "I never attack first."

"Very well."  Snape cast a curse and Philip put up a shield.  "Very well done," he praised dryly.  "A bit slow."

"He's out of practice," Hermione defended.  "Besides, he's one of those nice people who only attacks first when someone's life is in danger."

Ron leaned close to Harry.  "Think she's in love?" he whispered.  Harry swatted him, giving him a disgusted look.  He gave his best friend a steady look and Harry nodded finally.

"Let's not warn him," Harry whispered back once no one was watching them.  "She deserves a good hunt."

Ron snickered and swatted him back.  "Grumpy."

"Boys," Snape snapped.  "Get up here.  Let's see how well you do since you're not listening."  They shrugged and got up onto the stage, doing the formalities before pacing off.  Ron fired first and Harry managed a weak shield.  Ron's answering one was much stronger.  "Obviously you learned to protect yourself from the twins," he said bitterly.  "Potter, yours needs work.  Like Potions, it takes concentration and desire not to be harmed."

"Think of it like putting out a shield of light," Philip offered. "It's very useful."

"Okay," Harry said, trying it again.  This time it was stronger.  "How's that?"  It fell.  "Damn."

"Language, five points off," Snape said immediately.  He looked at Xander.  "That is one thing he shouldn't have taught you."

"I knew it before him," Harry said, giving him a smug look.  "All the bastards who tried to kill me used them often."  He went back to his former spot, leaning against Ron's side.  "Is that how you lost thirty points in potions?"  Ron nodded, grimacing.   "Think we make him go back to his rooms and let out a long invective string?"  Ron snickered, nudging him.  "What?" he asked innocently.

"What are you two going on about now, Potter?" Snape asked impatiently.

"Just wondering if you went back to your rooms at night and swore about us, sir," Ron said cheerfully.

Snape looked down at him.  "I don't feel enough about either of you to use such strong language.  Unlike some, I don't sound like I work on a dock."  He went back to instructing his Slytherins while the other houses were taught by Xander and Philip.

Harry stepped back a bit but Dawn stopped him, making him frown.

"Let me," she hissed, subtly pointing her wand at Snape.  "Lepor lepos is man's sermo muto ut is fatur , planto him sanus amo ancient dies quod planto suus sermo discedo." (Charm this man's speech to change when he speaks, make him sound like the ancient days and make his speech go away.)

Xander looked down at her.  "Dawn Summers!  I felt that!  That's much too complicated.  The easier form is Morph lingua Latin, use it next time."

Philip looked at Snape.  "Severus, you might want to uncharm yourself," he warned.

Snape opened his mouth but what came out was unintelligible to most students.  He glared at Dawn, who grinned.  "Sorry, sir, I thought you'd like to figure out some new conjugations for some of our spells that we're having problems with."

He stomped out, going to get the Headmaster to fix this so he could complain about the girl. After all he had done for her too!

Dawn jogged after him, stopping him.  "I only did it because Harry was going to do it.  Besides, you always say that we conjugate our charms wrong," she offered.  "Let me take it off?"  He shook his head.  "I can so."

"And you'll be doing so with me," Holly said as she walked up the halls.  "I felt strong magic."  Snape said something to her and she swatted Dawn.  "Bad girl!  Go sit in the corner!"

"I'm not four!" she said.  "At least I cast an easy out!"  She pulled her wand and concentrated.  "Release this man for he is keen, let his speech come clean."  She swished at him, doing nothing but it still seemed to help her.  "There."  She grinned at him. "Pretty good, huh?  And Harry didn't get into trouble or make it permanent."

"Your attempts to gain attention have now netted you two detentions and more lessons with myself and Holly," Snape told her.  "Obviously, Lovegood and her mentors are warping you to the wrong side of the battle."  He continued off to swear in peace.

Holly put an arm around her shoulders.  "Yes, you have," she agreed.  "This mean streak of yours is pretty cool, but fairly dangerous.  Remember, your intent will change the spell."  She led Dawn down to her rooms and started her working on her next lesson, one to help her get all those impulses out.

Upstairs, Ron was giving Harry a look.  "She's pretty neat, even though she did take it off him."

Harry nodded.  "That was very cool," he agreed.  "Did she do it wandless?"  Ron nodded proudly.  "Good on her, mate.  You've got yourself one hell of a witch."

"Mr. Potter!" McGonagall yelled down the hallways.  "I heard that!"

"Dawn language charmed Snape," Ron called back.  "We're really proud of her."  They ran off, going to hide from her for the next little while, at least until she calmed down.  It'd be a nicer detention that way.  They cast 'ignore me' charms and snuck back into the dueling meeting but Xander obviously saw them because he looked right at them and smirked. "Shit," Ron muttered.  "Busted."

Harry shook his head.  "It'll be okay.  He'll only teach us more stuff."

"Good point," Ron agreed, cheering up again.

***

Blair looked up as the group came back from wherever, grinning at them.  "I see we're taking the non-Budge, yet conservative approach."  He got out of Philip's chair, pulling one over to sit beyond Draco.  "How can I help?"

"We're still looking some of them up," Ron told him.  "That idea you gave us worked."

Dawn grinned.  "I cast it my way and took it back off."

"Good job," Blair praised, smiling at her.  "I always wanted to do that to a teacher."

"We had one that spoke so we couldn't understand anyway," Philip reminded him.  Blair looked at him.  "Arthimancy?  Norwegian teacher with the heavy accent?"

"Oh, yeah, him," Blair agreed, nodding.  "That's why I learned that one from the book."  The students giggled.  "Really.  He was a big guy with no hair, a worn out body, and an accent so thick you'd think he wasn't speaking English at all."

"I'm glad we don't have any of those," Ron admitted.  "I have a hard time with accents sometimes."

"You'll get used to them," Xander assured him, back into his work.  "Okay, here's a new one.  It's a weapon, with a vegetable marking, like it's a carrot gun."

"Maybe it was a carrot gun," Harry offered.  "They would hurt going at a very high rate of speed."

"Probably not," Philip told him.  "Thinial has distinct markings for different sort of things.  Food and combat are two different ones."  He took Xander's page, finding it quickly.  "That is odd," he agreed.  He handed it down to Blair.  "Did you see that in Runes?"

"No," Blair said, shaking his head and patting his old notebook of notes.  "I've never seen that one."  He handed it back down to Xander via Draco.  "Interesting. Maybe they did have a gun that shot vegetables.  The ancients were odd enough to make machines that could suck a person dry once it was attached to them."

"They did?" Harry asked, looking at Xander.  "Can we use one of those?"

"We can't let them get loose, otherwise I'd lead the raid to stick it on the bastard myself," Xander said quietly.

"Okay," Harry sighed, getting back down to his work.

Ron looked down at Dawn, then grinned.  "That's it, some of us need a good snog.  Come on, Dawn."

She frowned but let him lead her out into the hallway for a few minutes before coming back alone.  "Ron is not the least energetic."

"Summers! Dumass! Malfoy-Dumass!" their quidditch captain yelled from the doorway.  "What are you doing?  We had practice earlier."

Dawn looked at him.  "Someone sent Xander an entire book in Thinial to decode."

"Wow," he said, shaking his head.  "That's not my sort of thing.  It's a good thing you got some Ravenclaws and Granger. Come on, you still need work."

"I know," she agreed, kissing Xander on the cheek.  "I'll see you later."

"No shagging in the broom closet," he mumbled as he looked up that sigal.

"Of course not, that'd be dusty and nasty," she agreed as she walked over to join him, taking her broom.  "Sorry."

"That's all right.  The other two are in Potter's class, you're not yet.  Come on.  You can ever get Ron to help you if you want."

"He's off bouncing around," she said, waving a hand around.  "The studying got a bit much for him."  She spotted a house elf and jogged over to it.  "Hi, Sunny.  Can you please tell my Ron that I'm outside practicing?"  She nodded, grinning at her.  "Thanks."  She caught up with her Captain again, heading out to do her house duty.  It was a really fun sport.  She didn't know why some, namely Draco, Ron, and Harry, took it so seriously but it was fun to play.

Sunny popped up to Gryffindor, looking around to make sure there were none of those nasty clothes laying around.  She found Ron reading a book and tapped him gently on the arm.  "Sunny has message for Weasy," she told him.  "Mistress Dawn say shes outside practicing, sends Sunny to tell Weasy."

"Thanks, Sunny," Ron said, giving her a grin and a piece of candy from the dish behind her.  "I think that's much better than the dusty studying stuff."  He headed out to help her.  He wanted to face a real keeper, not one who played around.  It would only make him better after all.

Neville smiled at Sunny.  "You can have a few more if you want.  Most of us don't like that.  I bought them."  She took two more and disappeared, handing them out to the little kids among them.  "Can we stop Hermione's clothing drive?" he asked the others in the common room.

"Hell yes," Dean yelled from across the room.  "I'm tired of making my own bed."  The others nodded, some of them heading up to confiscate Hermione's knitting stuff.

***

Blair and Philip shared a look as they looked at the pages they had done.  There was less than half.  Even on their own pages.  They looked at Xander, who was drooling onto his journal.  Fortunately Draco had charmed it to be waterproof earlier.  "We need help," Blair decided.

"We do," Philip agreed.  "If the goblins couldn't then I'm not sure who could."

Xander snorted and sat up, wiping off his mouth.  "Sorry, needed a quick nap."

"It's been an hour, Xander," Philip said, giving him a friendly smile.  "We think we need help."

"We probably do," Xander agreed, putting his head onto his hands.  "I don't know anyone who could do it though."

"I do," Blair offered, "but you met him when you went to rescue them from the unholy things."

Xander winced, stretching his back.  "I did the charm so it would undo if they ran into me again but I'm not sure about Jackson's memory charm from the goblins."

"We can check," Blair offered.  "I know where he's stationed."

"I had to deliver something there to him," Xander told him, looking over at him.  "How did we do?"

"Maybe half.  Including the greeting; there's a lot in there that I've never seen before."

"Me either," Blair admitted.  "And you know it's got to be obscure if neither of us know about it."

Xander nodded at the wiseness of that one.  "Is it safe for us to even call him?"

"Probably not," Philip agreed, "but it'll drive us nuts otherwise."  He shrugged at Blair's look.  "It will me if I don't know what it means."

"Fine, I'll check with the people who sent it, see if that's acceptable to them," Xander decided, pushing back.  "Let's clean this up.  I can put it up in our room."

"Won't Draco throw a fit?  You're paying more attention to it than you do him," Blair pointed out.

"If he does, I'm spanking him," Philip said with a slight smirk.

"He's mine to spank, Philip.  If you want to spank someone, Hermione was giving you looks all night long and she's not taken," Xander said sweetly, grinning at him.

"She's too young for me too," Philip said firmly.

"Yeah, because she's so young mentally.  She's a genius, Philip, they're not like normal kids.  Really, we're not."  He helped gather everything into a carryable pile, then followed Xander up to his room.

"Wanting to chat with Draco?" Xander asked.

"Wanting to ask Dawn something," Blair admitted.  "Maybe give her some advice on how to block shots."

"You need kids of your own, Sandburg."  He opened the door and walked up his stairs.  "Someone get Dawn for him."

Dawn looked up from the couch she was laying on.  "How did the research go?"

"Slowly," Xander told her, heading into his room.  He immediately pounced on his consort because he was giving him a hurt look.  "I'm sorry I fell asleep in the library."

"You're forgiven.  I'm sure it's given you extra energy to make it up to me tonight," Draco said, giving him a nip on the lip.  "Whenever you've showered and all that."

Xander put everything onto his very clean desk and went to do that, one never kept hot little love moneys waiting.  He might go pounce Blair if he got too desperate.

***

Xander looked at the goblin who had sent him the book.  "There's a lot we can't find in the books," he offered.  "We're moving along but that's stopping us.  It's even in the introduction.  A good third of it."  The goblin looked impressed.  "I've got Sandburg and Callahan working on it with my crew for the moment."  That got an even more impressed look, with a touch of worry.  "And we don't know what to do about that beside asking one of Blair's old friends to help."

"Who?" the goblin asked.

"Daniel Jackson."

"The one you met on that dig?"

Xander nodded.  "Him.  He's an Archeologist.  He admitted he's seen Thinial before in his current job, though he thinks it's alien, but he's not one of us."

"Hmm.  An interesting quandary."  The goblin looked at him.  "How did you charm him?"

"I charmed him to break it if I showed up again.  But you guys charmed him too."

"We use that one usually," the goblin told him.  "Could you do this without endangering him?"

"I don't know," Xander admitted.  "He knows what I am.  He knows nothing else, but he knows what I am.  And Bill and Gruinth too," he admitted.  "I was having a slight breakdown due to Rosenburg when they came to look over that archive."  The goblin nodded.  "I could bring the book to him. It's got tracings on it, and if it's alien like he thinks then maybe he could use it too.  I still think it's map coordinates but some of them have no relation to this planet.  Plus there's those stupid etchings on the pages."

"All true," the goblin agreed.  "I have no problem with you calling him in.  I know none of us do very well with Thinial and you seemed to run into more of it than anyone else."

"Yeah, I did kinda have the feel for it," Xander admitted, grinning sheepishly.  "Anything you want to order me to find out of that?"

"No, just see if it is a find," he ordered.  "If it is, then you've done a lot of hard work and can claim the sites.  If not, then you've done a lot of hard work and you can claim the work."  He shrugged.  "That does not bother us.  What bothers us is Bill Weasley's recent temper problems."

"Bill's throwing fits?"

"His coordinates have been off each time.  He keeps landing in a closet.  It's been upsetting him."

"Is he ill?  He was the most accurate apparator I've ever seen."

"We're sending him up your way to check.  Our own mediwitch is still on maternity leave and the local hospitals refuse to do our exams for us."

"Fortunately, Madam Pomfrey is a really nice lady," Xander told him.  "So, no issues?"  The goblin shook his head.  "Thanks, I'm off to see the Minister."  He waved and apparated off, heading to the Ministry.  He registered his wand and took the little dot that showed him where he needed to go.  First, he popped in on Arthur.  "Hi.  Came to tell you Ron's not the most scholarly," he said as he opened the door.

"No, that's never been Ron's forte," Arthur agreed, putting down his quill.  "What's going on?  You'd probably not come up here unless there's a problem."

"Actually, I'm on my way to see the Minister, just thought I'd pop in and tell you Ron's been slacking off in Runes again.  Not that I expect otherwise.  He's getting the use language down very well but the more esoteric stuff is going over his head."  Arthur nodded.  "Other than that, he's doing very well.  He's got a game tomorrow so I figured I'd see you and Bill then."

"Bill's coming up for the game?"

"No, the goblins are sending Bill up for an exam.  He's been landing in the closet when he apparates up for a check-in."  He shrugged.  "No clue.  Probably exhaustion.  That's what it was last time."  He waved.  "I've got to go up and make his ever-loving week. Later, Arthur."  He wandered off, following the jewel.  It led him right to the secretary.  "Hi, I'm Alex Dumass and I made an appointment to talk to the old coot?"

She looked up at him over the rim of her glasses.  "Mr. Weasley is in there."

"Arthur came up to talk about me?"

"The other one."

"Oh, Percy," he said, nodding.  "That's fine, I can wait," he said, sitting down.  He handed back the jewel and she gave him a funny look.  "I'm a curse breaker, I've got my way memorized."

"Ah."  She put it in a small tube and sent it through a chute, back to the reception area.  "That must be very handy."

"Unless I'm in the mall," he admitted.  "Too many people mess it up."  He looked over as the door opened and Percy walked out, looking very smug.  He stood up, resisting the urge to swat him.  That boy had made Molly upset but he was trying to get better. He walked into the office.  "Did you sort it out with him finally?"

"Percy only agreed to come back when I came into the job," the Minister said, looking at him.  "What did you need, Mr. Dumass?"

"The goblins sent me a book in Thinial."

"A whole book?"

Xander nodded.  "Totally in code with some strange etchings on the pages."

"Oh, dear."  He sat back, clasping his hands over his stomach.  "And?"

"Daniel Jackson.  He admitted he'd seen them before, he just thinks they're alien."

"I saw a report with his name on it," he said, searching for it.

"It was probably last Christmas."

"No, since then."  He found it and reread the section with his name in it.  "Ah, here we go.  He managed to find another Thinial artifact among a museum collection."  He looked at him.  "He didn't remember us."

"I used the same memory charm the goblins do for the people I'll have to work with amiably in the future," Xander admitted.  "So they'll remember when they see me."

"Good, and the problem?"

"He's muggle, he's American, and he's somehow working with the military about these aliens."

"Uh-huh."  He nodded.  "And you want to do what?"

"Maybe bring him here, set him up in a hotel, and see if he can figure out the ones Callahan, Sandburg, and myself can't find in the books."  He leaned down a bit so he could talk quietly.  "Besides, if there are aliens and they're using Thinial, I'd rather have a guy like him have some knowledge than none at all.  I'm not really in the mood to save the world again this year.  I'm too busy."

"You've done it before?"

"I regrew up in Sunnydale."

"Oh."  He shuddered.  "I had heard you sent someone over in your place."

"Yeah, Brad went for a year for me.  Since the reunion.  He came back when Sunnydale imploded after a Hellgod came after my little sister Dawn."

The Minister blinked a few times.  "Do we have an account of what you've done over there?"

"No, but the Watchers do," he offered.  "I know you've got someone over there."

"Yes, but they listed you as a hanger-on.  Nothing very useful outside of bait."

"Well, I did do a very good impersonation of a worm, but that's mostly because of the shields Dumbledore put on me when he drop-kicked my ass over there. May I?" he asked, pointing at a chair.  The minister waved a hand.  "Thanks."  He sat down and stretched out a little, getting comfortable.  "I was magicless until I came back for the reunion.  The shields kept me from accessing my memories and everything.  It was so bad, it took three of us to free me from them and I had to be unconscious, plus the school nurse.  That's why I'll defend Poppy Pomfrey to the death."

"Interesting.  What did you do without magic?"

"You mean besides battle plans, helping my friends at the time - including a slayer, and defeating an ascension, sending a semi-souled vampire to hell so he'd quit stalking us, and having a staking count of somewhere over sixty vampires?"  He grinned.  "We also took down the government's first attempt at using demons in the military.  We blew up the Judge demon. I nearly got killed by a life-sucking Incan mummy girl and eaten by a shape changing praying mantis woman.  Oh, and let's not forget helping to close the hellmouth when Rosenburg started to black out by feeding her my energy.  Not to mention playing many games of checkers with a few master vampires and playing kitten poker with a few demons each week."

The minister wanted to be impressed, but that sounded like bragging. "Prove it."

"Call the Watchers," Xander offered.  "And tell them that whomever was watching should really have asked us what we did within the group.  Even Cordelia had some uses in Sunnydale."

The Minister stood up and went to a mirror on his wall, tapping a decorative mark on it with his wand.  A new head appeared.  "I have one Alexander Dumass in my office.  May I please have his file?"

"Who?"

Xander stood up and waved.  "Me."

"Bloody-ever-loving-fucking-hell, they made you regrow on the Hellmouth!" the head shouted.

Xander nodded.  "And they made me do it magicless."

"Then we need to revise your file, Mr. Harris.  Should we get that from Mr. Giles?"

"He's awake?"

"Barely," the Watcher offered. "He's still not all there.  Glory did a number on him."  He frowned and opened his mouth.

"From the reunion on, I had a not-me there to help out.  A young auror named Brad."

"That explains most of it," he agreed, nodding.  "Give me a moment and I'll bring the corrected version myself," he told the Minister.  His head disappeared and he went running for the head office, bursting into Quentin Traver's office.  "Did you know Alexander Harris was really Alexander Dumass, deaged and magicless?"

Travers choked on the air he was breathing.  "He was?"  The younger watcher nodded.  "Then I think his file is wrong. Go find out what he did."

"He was more than their moral support and bait I'm sure, Travers.  I need his file, the Minster for Magic has requested it."  It was dug out and handed over.  "Thank you.  I'll be back later."  He headed off, going to talk to the man, and possibly the vampire Buffy.  She was an interesting case study.

***

Xander and Blair walked up to the front gate of the base where Daniel was stationed, Xander grinning at the familiar looking security guard.  "Hi.  We need to see Dr. Jackson?"

"No jeep this time?" he asked.

"No, we traveled a different way," he admitted.  "Is he in today?"

"Well, he's not quite here," the guard admitted.

"Can you call his boss for us?" Blair asked.  "He'll understand why we need to see Daniel."

Xander nodded.  "We can even wait right here if necessary.  It's not cold today."

"Let me check," the guard said, calling his supervisor.  "Sir, that man from the jeep is here again, this time with someone else and they want to talk to the big guy downstairs."

"Or Hammond, whichever one is around," Xander corrected.

"And he knows who Hammond is."  He listened.  "Yes, sir, they said they'd wait right here.  Thank you, sir."  He hung up.  "General Hammond is here and he's calling him to come up."

"Cool."  Blair pulled an envelope out of his pocket and held it out.  "Did you want to check it first?  I know you guys are kinda paranoid these days."

"That's all right, if you'll open it?" the guard asked.  Blair opened it and let him look inside.  "Aw, more nerd stuff," he said, shuddering.  "Dr. Jackson gets a lot of that."

"We're going to try to beg him for a touch of help," Blair admitted with a grin.  "Danny and I did some schooling together.  I haven't heard from him in years."  He nudged Xander as a bald man strode out of the tunnel.

"That's a really cool likeness of Hammond, but I met him on the dig in Iran," Xander told him, loud enough so the double could hear.  The double stopped and looked at him so Xander leaned against the side of the guard shack.  "I promise, he knows us.  Have a camera point our way and let him view if it makes him feel safer."

"Look up please, sir," the guard requested.

Xander looked up and waved.  "Hi, it's me again," he said, saying the release code to his spell.  Blair nudged him.  "What?" he asked innocently.   The next guy who came out was Hammond and he had a guard carrying a gun with him.  "I'm not that mean," he noted.

"Mr. Harris.  And you are?" he asked, looking at Blair.

"Sandburg.  I'm an old friend of Danny's and I need help translating something."

"And you couldn't call him at home?"

"He's never there," Blair told him.

"Good point," he muttered.  He looked behind him, then at them.

"I've spent most of my life in tunnels and tombs.  Besides, it can't be worse than the Sunnydale base after we got through with it," Xander said patiently.  "We only need some help from Danny, personally if possible, to decode some Thinial.  There's a few odd glyphs that aren't in our books and he said he's run into it before.  Since it predates Atlantis, well,  you know the rest of the tale of woe about lack of researchers," Xander said.  "Just don't try to capture us, huh?"

Hammond swallowed.  "We've heard and I'm not part of that operation."

"Good.  We like that in a human being," Blair said happily.  "We can wait out here for a bit.  I brought cards."

Hammond chuckled.  "I see you do know the military."

"Not personally, but my roommate's a former Ranger."

"Ah.  Mr. Ellison.  Where is he?"

"We're doing an exchange thing in Scotland.  I'm teaching at St. Andrews at the moment."

"Your records from Customs said that," Hammond pointed out.  He looked at Xander.  "Yours don't seem to be complete."

"That's because I hate paperwork.  It gets on my nerves.   Sorta like the guy with the itchy finger."  He looked at the guard.  "I can promise you, that bullet won't hit either of us if you try to shoot us.  It might ricochet, but it won't be hitting us."  He looked at Hammond again.  "If we show you the glyphs, can you at least tell him we need to confer?"

"If you'd like.  I've got him coming back through.  May I?"  Blair handed over the envelope, watching as he pulled it out.  "Oh."  He looked at them.  "Your kind deal with this?"

Xander wiggled his fingers.  "My kind deal with this.  Blair is a hapless researcher I've sucked in to help me with the book I got sent.  Hence my protective attitude toward him."

"All right.  There's a conference room right inside the interior gate.  We'll put you in there until we can get Dr. Jackson back."  He walked them that way.  "Why did I have to come up personally?"

"The memory charm was set so I could deactivate it if I ran into you again, just in case I needed the support or help."

"Oh."  He nodded.  "That makes sense.  It doesn't waste a resource but we can't be a pain either."

"No, you can't and you also couldn't find us.  You still probably won't want to."

"Like I said, I don't like that program.  I think we get enough willing volunteers as is."  He let them into the unused conference room.  "Stay here.  If you step outside, you'll probably be shot."

"Can I hit the water cooler then?" Blair asked.  "I've got a flask I can fill up."

"Let the guard get it for you.  It's further in."  He looked at them.  "How did you get here?"

"The same way I got my very British jeep here," Xander told him.  He gritted his teeth and grabbed the table's edge.  "Merlin, what is that!" he said, trying to control his reaction to the flux of magic.  Very chaotic magic.

"He can feel power flows," Blair explained, handing over his flask.  "Just some water, please?" he requested.

"Yes, sir."  The guard left, going to do that.  He brought it back and it was still damp on the outside.  "Here you go."

"Thanks," Blair said with a grin.  He took a sip then put it onto the table.  "Xander, are you gonna live?"

"I'll have to, you suck at getting back to the school," Xander said, starting to calm down.  He looked at the general.  "Do you get a lot of computer malfunctions around that thing?  The chaotic energy flux is massive and painful.  It's got to cause others problems."

"We shielded everything before we let it near, but it's something to test," the general offered, giving them a nod before leaving them alone.  He had the guard stay there while he went downstairs, shaking his head.  "Holy Hannah, what next?" he muttered.  He walked into the Gate room and frowned at his favorite decoder.  "You've got visitors here.  One Dr. Sandburg.  One Alexander Harris?"

"Harris?" he asked, grimacing as he headed out.  "Why?"

"They've got some Asgardian."

"They do?  The strange language from the Iran dig?"  The general nodded, realizing his person wasn't out from under the memory charm yet.  "Where are they?  I haven't seen Blair in forever.  Why didn't he call the house?"

"The nice Anthropologist pointed out that you're never home," Hammond told him.  "They're in the conference room right next to the interior gate."  Dr. Jackson nodded and walked off, muttering to himself.  "And you can't have more than a week off," he called after him.

"Thank you, sir.  I'll keep that in mind."  Daniel walked out to the elevator then headed up to the front gate, smiling at the guard who opened the door for him.  "Thanks."  He walked in and the door was shut.

"Hi, it's me again," Xander told him.  Daniel shook his head.  "Clearer now?"

"Much.  You found one that worked?"

"It was in that last shipment."  Xander leaned on the table.  "You remember the Thinial I showed you?"  Daniel nodded, sitting down and taking the envelope.  "I got a whole book of it.  We can only decode about half of it.  I know some of it has map coordinates for around here.  I figure you could probably use the knowledge since you seemed rather excited to see it in that tomb.   We'd like to offer you a chance to be our willing slave for a few days to help us."

"Slave?" Daniel asked.

"We treat them well, but we'd expect you to be like Blair and I and live in the library.  That's what my grandmother calls us, slaves to the books."

"Ah."  Daniel looked at the copy, touching the paper. "Parchment?"

"Standard issue among my kind," Xander told him.

"Neat."  He looked at the images.  "This is a really old book, the images are blurry."

"The person who made the copy was a little tired this morning," Blair admitted.  "How have you been?"

"Great.  You?"  He looked at him and grinned.  "Sentinel?"

"Yeah.  Aliens?"  Daniel gave him a look.  "Oh, no."  Daniel shrugged.  "Man!  I don't need that, I've got a bad guy who's turned himself into a half-snake to fight, not to mention freshmen."

"Snake? Like inside him?"

"No, like he's changed himself until he's half snake," Xander told him.  "It made him more powerful and scary.  We're expecting to kill him any day now, that way he can't commit more genocide."

"I thought you were kidding when you said your people are at war," Danny said, looking upset.

"It's not any worse than the US trying to round us all up and make us work for them," Blair told him.

"You are?" Daniel asked.

Blair nodded.  "Yup, sure am.  For the longest time, I thought you were."

"No, I had an interest in the old ways, but nothing further."  He looked very upset.  "Since when?"

"Since I went to school for it at eleven," Blair offered.  "I'm sorry, Danny."

"No, I understand, I just never figured you for being so...odd."

"Danny, you deal with aliens," Xander pointed out kindly.  "We're about the same sort of odd.  I deal with demons, Blair deals with native things and deadly plants."

"I guess."  He looked at the paper again.  "Is the book any better?"

"Much better," Xander promised.  He leaned closer.  "Like I said last time, I don't care if you guys have stuff that'll help you.  I doubt most anything in that book will definitively point to the existence of our kind.  In which case, you can easily have information from it, but not the original because it's kinda priceless.  Deal?"

"And I have to go to England?"

"Well, yeah," Xander admitted.  "Because I'm not going to be darted and captured like some wild creature for anything, not even decoding this book."

"You were serious?"  Xander nodded.  "Why?  You have free will."

"You remember that file on the Initiative?"  Daniel nodded slowly.  "They had free will too, they were simply different.  We're a more human version of different."

"Oh."  Daniel sighed and put down the paper.  "Can you get me there or should I arrange for a flight?"

"There's a special portkey that can move you as well as us," Blair offered.  "We've had some problems with them recently."

"If he tries to hijack it, I'm going to kill the snakey bastard," Xander said firmly.  "Harry or no Harry."  Blair looked at him.  "You'll find I like action, Blair.  I jump into things.  I like jumping into things.  It's saved my life a number of times.   In this case, I'm sure we can jump in and kick his ass at least enough to get us free."

"Maybe," Blair admitted.  "I don't like combat though."

"So don't.  You guard the brains and I'll be the brawn."

"If it's not safe," Daniel broke in, "I could take a normal flight."

"The book is over four hundred pages long," Xander told him.  Daniel's mouth fell open.  "Yeah.  And I know you can only get limited time off for this sort of thing.  I was possessed by the a private first class, I know those things.  I understand fully.  Mostly, I want you to see if you can tell what the etchings on the pages are.  There's little tiny things etched into it and we can't figure out how to get it short of dirtying the page with something like fingerprinting powder."

Daniel snorted.  "No, there's a computerized imaging system that would work.  We could borrow the book and do it here, then give it back."

"I can't let it out of my sight, Daniel.  It's literally a priceless artifact.  It was found in the tomb of a guy who habitually stole from the library in Alexandria.  It should be in a library.  The goblins trusted me with it and said I can't give it out."

"I can understand that.  We've got a portable system.  It's not as powerful but we can handle that," Daniel offered.  "Or we could order you one?"

"I could probably use it, even though I do more with cave walls than anything else.  Is this where Archeology is heading?"  Daniel nodded.  "Then I wouldn't mind the advice.  Our fields are similar and we do it for similar reasons, only we usually get there before you guys."

"I'd rather you guys got there first.  It took me a week to heal from that thing behind the door trying to kill me."  He stood up.  "Let me head downstairs, grab my bag and stuff.  I'll be right back up.  We'll head to the airport and do this the normal way."

"I'll get your tickets," Xander offered.   "Did you want more exposure and to stay at the house?  If not, we can work something out and come over to bug you."

"That'd be fine, thank you, Xander."  He headed down to his office, grabbing his journals with the language information he'd need, his usual travel bag - which was always packed these days - and a few pads of paper to go with the journals.  He could transcribe it later if he needed to.  Someone knocked on the door.  "Hey, Jack."

"It is not O'Neill," Teal'c said as he walked in.  "What has happened?"

"Do you remember the Iran dig?"

"I was not there for it, but I remember hearing about it from others.  Has something new been found?"

"Well, yes and no.  You see, we found an off-shoot form of Asgardian at the dig, on the walls.  The people who joined us were from a small community who had some claim on some of the things in the tomb."  Teal'c looked startled.  "And now they've got a book full of this new language.  The person who's working on it says it has map coordinates.  He said we can share anything relevant.  So I'm going to England for a few days to work with him."

"I see."  He looked impressed.  "Are these wizards going to put you up?"  Daniel stopped dead, looking at him like he hadn't seen him before.  "We know of them DanielJackson.  They have been known to us for many years."

"Well, yeah, these guys are wizards," he admitted quietly.  "Don't say that too loud, apparently the US is trying to conscript them."

"I see.  That would be bad.  They could conceivably kill everyone."  He shrugged.  "May I come with you?"

"I have no idea," Daniel admitted.  "I can ask."

"While you gather your things, I will retrieve something to show them.  I have something that may interest them."  He went to his locker, pulling out his backpack and putting in the book he had found his son playing with.  It was not their sort of thing and had been forbidden ever since the wizards had been found.  He rejoined Daniel in his office, helping him gather up notes.  Then they walked back up the stairs.  He nodded politely at the two men.  "Which one of you is like the great Merlin?"

Xander raised his hand.  "Me.  Why?  And you are?"

"This is Teal'c.  He's an ally and part of my team," Daniel told him.

Teal'c took off his backpack and pulled out the book, handing it over.  "I had wondered if that was of your people.  Every now and then, your knowledge comes into our hands though it is forbidden."

Xander's mouth fell open and stayed there.  Blair nudged him but Xander didn't move.  He tugged at the journal, making him let go of it.  "What is this?" he asked as he looked at it.  "Holy shit, that's Ancient knowledge."  He kicked Xander under the table.  "Can he come too?"

"Yeah," Xander said, nodding, looking up at the big man.  "You want to come?  Can you handle a bit of strange stuff?"

"I have no problem with strange things.  After all, I find many of your sports to be that way."

"You've never seen Quidditch," Blair told him, standing up again.  "Danny, did you drive in?"

"Sure did.  You guys didn't?"

"No, we kinda popped in to talk to you," Blair admitted, taking Xander with him before he could bug the nice man for the knowledge long gone.  There would be enough time for that once they got home.  "We think it would be better if you both flew the normal way.  Less questions asked.  We'll pick you up at the other side."

Xander handed over the reservations he had made.  "This is for you."  He handed over his unlabeled credit card, a wizarding crossover run through Gringotts.  "Get him one too and it's fine if you guys upgrade to first class.  I got you business since first class was really tiny the last time I flew British Air."  He clapped Teal'c on the back.  "Can I bring the book with me for a bit?  I'll hand it back as soon as you land."

"If you would like," he agreed.  "Do you have anything from your new project?"

"All we brought was a copy," Blair said, letting him have it.

"I know this one.  I have seen it before.  It is considered a sacred text from your people," he told Xander.  "Interesting."

"Thanks."  Xander grinned.  "Okay, we're going to walk down the road and then blink out.  You guys follow.  We'll be meeting you as far into the airport as possible."

"Go ahead and blink out here," Daniel told him, walking them toward the gate.  "We're used to strangeness."

"You're sure?"  Daniel shrugged and nodded.  "Cool.  Thanks."  He took Blair with him once he felt the camera swing away from his position.

Daniel looked back and grimaced.  "I thought they were kidding."

"They can do such things.  That is one of the reasons my people do not mess with them."

"Probably a good idea, Teal'c.  Xander is a very strong man.   He defeated the thing that nearly killed all of us."  Teal'c looked impressed.  "You two will probably have some battle stories to swap."

"Hopefully.  How long are we going for?"

"Six days.  I only got a week off."  He checked them out at the gate and headed for the parking area, they only had two hours to get to the airport.

***

Xander landed them in the Ministry, right beside the reception desk.  He tossed over his wand and took off running, heading for the Minister's office.  He barged in.  "It's too important to care," he said as he walked past the secretary.  The Minister gave him a look when he barged into his office.  Xander put the book down in front of him.  "I've found one of those protagonists we've theorized came with the invaders to steal us.  With the tattoo on his forehead. Just like in those cave drawings.  He's coming over with Jackson."

"Then you can't keep him at your house.  House elves can tell when someone has a symbiot."  He picked up the book and his mouth fell open.  "This is...."  He looked at Xander.  "He had this?"  Xander nodded.  "Why?"

"He said that it pops up every now and then among their people, but that it's listed as a forbidden thing among his people.  He asked me if I was like Merlin."

The Minister laughed and stood up, hugging him.  "Then you are allowed to pump this nice man for all the information you want.  Did you need some Veritassium?"

"Nah, he's working with Jackson, said he was an ally."  The minister crowed.  "Shit, we may have a big thing going on, or we could find those lost people who were taken during that ritual.  We might even find their diaries!" Xander said happily.  "I'm gonna put him up in the village in near our house.  Or in the house out back so he doesn't spook the house elves.  Oh, they've got a gateway.  It's doing a strange chaos flux.  You might want to warn whoever you send to them.  It's really disorienting."

"I'm sure it is," the Minister agreed.  He looked at the guards.  "Dear Mr. Dumass found someone who has knowledge from the Ancients.  They brought a book with them."  The guards gave a half-smile, all they could do until the woman with the pink hair pushed past them.

Xander handed her the book.  "We found someone who had this," he told her.  "It's Ancient knowledge.  As in from the Ancients.  They had a working gateway doing a chaos flux.  He's coming over."  He knew her, Harry had told him about her, said she was all right.  "I'm putting him out in our guest house."

"Wow."  She looked at him, handing him back his wand.  "You left this."

"I figured it'd take too long.  They're flying over.  They leave in about," he checked his watch, "an hour and a half.  We're still at Dumass Glen if *you* wanted to come out."  She gave him a look.  "Harry vouched for you around my antiques and books."

"Oh.  You're him?"  Xander nodded.  "Thank you.  I'll meet you with them.  People like this need a proper welcome."

"He's an ally."

"The US got their gate to work that well?" she asked, sitting down before she fell down.  "Oh, damn."

Xander shrugged.  "Who knows.  Daniel works with it.  I'm guessing the flux I felt was him coming back.  I got him because I got a book sent to me in Thinial, totally in code.  He knew a bunch of it while we were on the dig over last Yule.  I asked permission first."

"Hey, not an issue," Nymphadora Tonks assured him, standing up again.  "I know you know how to protect the community.  You did it for years, Alex.  Let's get Sandburg and head back to your house.  Can we keep the book?"

"I told him I'd give it back when he got off the plane."

"How long is a plane ride from wherever they are?" the Minister asked.

Xander grinned.  "Ten hours or more.  They'll be here at approximately one am our time."

"Then I'll have someone copy the sucker and bring it to us," Tonks told him, leading him out.  "I don't blame you for running up the halls, I'd have done a dance up them and I'm not exactly a dancer."

Xander grinned and grabbed her, spinning her around a bit.  "I don't know, you pretend well enough."  She swatted him and he laughed, letting her go.  "Sorry, couldn't resist.  I had to play joker for too long for that."  They dropped the book off in the archives.  "You've got until midnight to copy it," he told them.  "I promised to give it back as soon as they stepped off the plane."  The archivist squealed and went to copy, multiple times.

***

Xander faced down his crew, Greg and Emilia, and the Headmaster and Snape, along with his family.  "Okay, big news, most of it good."  Some of them nodded and Draco looked bored.  "Do you remember all those stories about the guys in the dog armor?"  Everyone blinked at him.  "I've met one.  He's an ally now.  At least of the US, and the nice US at that.  The general over his unit said he didn't like them snatching us and promised us we'd be safe."  Des opened her mouth.  "He handed me a book on Ancient defense and ritual magic for raising power.  Said it was forbidden among his people."

"No way," Emilia said.

"Way," Xander said, tossing over a copy of the book they were going to keep.  The archivist had made seven copies so far and was now working from the copies.  The original was in a sealed bag on the table behind him.

Greg whimpered and snatched it to look at.  "Oh, damn," he said, looking at Xander in awe.  "Is he friendly?"

"Not only is he friendly, he's an ally.  He's helping them use one of those gate monstrosities that we destroyed so long ago."  Dumbledore's eyes widened. "I felt it go off myself, it's got a strong chaos flux so it's not calibrated correctly, but it does work.  That's how Danny Jackson's getting there."

"He's the one you went to go see," Aunt Cordy said, still frowning.

"He is, and Teal'c, that's the big guy's name, is working with him.  Personally vouched for and all that."  He looked at Des.  "I understand house elves can feel them.  Do you want me to put him in the nice secondary house out back or would you like him at an inn in town?"

"You're bringing him over?"

"With full permission," Blair told them.  "We're supposed to pump him for more information like that."

Snape took the copy to look at, the Headmaster looking over his shoulder.  "This is authentic," he admitted.  "I've seen partials of this one charm."  He looked up.  "Are we sure it's safe?"

"What's he gonna do, have us invaded?"

Blair patted him on the back.  "The risk is minimal.  Even if a memory charm doesn't work on him, the knowledge is forbidden among his kind.  Besides, the people using the gate have an offshoot of Thinial they've been working with.  My buddy Danny said so."  He looked at Des, who was white.  "Are you all right?"

"Fine," she squeaked.  She looked at him.  "If he acts up, you kill him," she ordered firmly. Xander nodded.  "Dead and gone, right?"

"Dead and gone," Xander promised.  "I know he won't attack us.  He's a guard, not one of their fake God wannabes."

"You're sure?"

"He had the gold tattoo thing on his forehead."

"Oh."  She looked a little more impressed.  "That is good."  She looked around.  "The Ministry?"

"I've invited the one auror Harry spoke for over to help," Xander told her.  "Nymphadora Tonks."

"She's a nice lady," Ron told her.  "She even played chess with me when we were bored.  She can handle nearly everything."

"She's Sirius' cousin," Harry agreed.  "She's calm and collected.  Xander, can we share the information they have?"

"I promised to share the information that didn't directly lead back to us with Daniel.  He's got other artifacts that are partially on the line.  I still don't think that the book will lead back to magic totally.  In which case, they can probably use some of it.  Daniel said that the things we pulled out of Iran were going back to these same people.  They're so deep in the government not even the government knows they're there."

"Does that mean one of the aurors will get to go across this gate thingy?" Emilia asked.  "Just to see what else they have?"

"I honestly don't know," Xander told her.  "I expect the Ministry will approach Danny about that."

"It would be dumb to not test the water," Snape agreed.

Xander looked at his grandmother again.  She was still really pale.  "Please don't die on me today?  Wait until after Emilia and Tipsy have their babies so they can have someone older to hold their hand and coach them."

Des swatted at him.  "Naughty boy!"  She gave him a pat.  "I'd never dream of dying already.  I still have a few things I need to do."  She glanced at the Headmaster and he swallowed.  Then she looked at her grandson again.  "The guest house would be fine, they can both stay out there, that way they don't get exposed to much magic.  You had it wired with that electricity stuff anyway.  Speaking of, the workman was out there yesterday, said the lines you had put in were fine, it was a fuse that was set too low."  She shrugged. "Whatever that means.  He put in a few new fuse boxes."

"That means that Danny's also going to help us with the stuff engraved onto the pages," Xander told her.  "He's got some sort of imaging system and he said he'd tell me about the new ones other people like him are using in the archeology field."

"Good.  That means you can get all that dusty old crap out of your bedroom so I can clean it properly," Aunt Cordy told him.

"You mean you didn't like the fertility statue at the foot of the bed holding clothes?" he asked.  "I thought it'd be the perfect place for them."

"The iron phallus is just the right shape to hold socks," Draco agreed.

"I'll use it on you both, the correct way," Des warned.  "Clean it out and move it out there over the holidays."

"Yes, Grandma," Xander said complacently.  He had wanted that house for his workroom anyway.  "We'll have to export my study too."

"Fine," Des agreed.  "We can have the house elves help you shift some of the things, but nothing too heavy."  She looked at him.  "What was that joke you played on Angel anyway?"

Xander grinned.  "I sent them a house elf."

"As?" she asked, knowing there was more.

"Strip-o-gram, then she was freed and turned into that Cordy's housekeeper," he said, moving out of range of her hands.  "It freed her from a very bad life."

"You need your head examined, boy.  I do not know where those sort of thoughts came from, but you will keep them out of my house."

"Yes, Grandma," Xander said meekly.  "It's not like I sent one to Bill or anything," he said innocently.

"He told me about that when I asked," Ron mentioned.  "He said he's still going to get you back for that some day soon."

"Bill is a sweet kid, but he has *nothing* on my naughtiness," Xander said cheerfully.  "Okay, guys, let's go check out the new work area."  His crew followed him out.  "Thanks, Grams."

"I'll get a favor in return sometime," she called after him.  Then she looked at the rest of the family.  "When did Alex become like this?  He used to be very thoughtful and kind to us."

"He is," Aunt Cordy protested.  "Or at least he is to me.  Then again, I'm not the one bothering him about producing an heir either," she reminded her.

Xander's father snorted.  "Don't even start.  Alex has always done this to Des.  This was always how he showed his affection to her.  It was this and taking care of her when she was sick.  Or don't you remember the snake in the soup?"

Des groaned and held her head.  "I tried to block that out," she said as she walked away.  "Cordy, let's talk to the house elves.  Before they panic."

"Coming," Cordy said, smiling at her brother-in-law.  He was one fine man.

***

Xander waved as Daniel walked toward them.  "There they are," he said happily.  He handed back the book as soon as Teal'c joined them on their side of the security gates.  "How was the trip?"

"Long," Teal'c noted.  "The waitress was very interested in learning about me."

"She flirted the whole Atlantic portion of the trip," Daniel said.  He looked at the woman.  "Blair, you've changed a lot."

Xander snickered.  "This is Tonks.  We thought it'd be better to have a bit of security on the way home.  We got a death threat earlier from one of the bad guys."  He led them out to the car.  "Don't worry about it, they're presently begging for mercy at the hands of some of Tonk's friends."

"Wonderful," Daniel told him, looking at Tonks.  "Intelligence?"

"Auror," she said.  "I'll explain in the car," she told him.  They climbed in and Xander took off, the muggle way since he couldn't be sure Teal'c would go with them if he moved the jeep by magic.  "It'll take us two hours to get there.  We're nearly in the middle of nowhere," she said once they got under way.

"That's not true, there's a very quaint village near the house," Xander said, shooting a quick grimace at her. "I hate airport traffic."  He glanced back at Teal'c.  "Tell me something; if we move the jeep, will you go with it or fight against it?"

"The only thing of that type that has gone against me was an attack and I successfully fought that off," Teal'c told him. "I was resisting at the time.  Would this get us there faster?"

"Within minutes," Xander told him.  He pulled out of the airport and headed for a back road.  "Okay, give me a five-count and if we move and you don't, I should be back within a minute to get you," Xander explained.

"That would be fine."

"Cool.  Danny, hold onto something, you're a little light and hard to work around too.  We want you in good contact with the jeep."

"I didn't know you could turn something the size of a jeep into a portkey," Tonks said quietly.

Xander pulled off the side of the road and grinned at her.  "It's a camp moving spell.  Bill and I found it during his initial year.  Saved me a lot of trouble."  He concentrated, creating a bubble around the car.  That's when the cop pulled up beside them.  "Just chatting with my friends," he explained.  "They've just got here and I couldn't wait," he said with his usual impish grin.  The cop nodded and went on, so Xander stared again, taking Tonk's hand to feel her magical nature.  That way he could calculate for it.  "Five, four, three, two, one," he muttered.  Teal'c made a very unmanly shriek as they moved but he came with them.  Danny didn't, so Xander went back and got him.  "I thought I told you to hold on," he complained as he created a portkey and took the bag that hadn't made it either.  He must be sleepy.  "Sorry, tired and all that."  He moved them to the house, watching as Tonks calmed down Teal'c.  "It's all right," he soothed.  "This is home.  Your place is in the rear because what you are scares house elves."  He led them that way, letting them take their own bags.  He found Blair napping on the couch with Methos giving him an 'aw' look and Philip sacked out in a chair with his feet up next to him.  "Tired?" he asked.

"Yes, they are.  Your guests probably have jetlag as well," Methos pointed out.  He nodded at Daniel.  "Good to see you again."

"You died," Daniel told him.

"Not really," he noted with a smile.   "I do that a lot."  He waved at the stairs.  "This is going to become the work area after you two are gone.  Xander, the house elves have laid out food in the kitchen in case they were hungry, but nothing that won't keep with some refrigeration."

"I'd rather set up the scanner and see if I can get something started tonight," Daniel offered.  "This is really intriguing and I'm not sure what we're going to do if this gives us something new."

Teal'c nodded.  He patted his bag, noticing the book was gone.  He even opened his mouth to say so.

"I've got it.  It fell out onto the seat," Tonks told him, swinging the bag.  "Which way, Alex?"

"Up the stairs and to the left," Xander said, leading them up there.  "We've just upgraded the electric in here.  It should be good enough for anything short of a nuclear generator."  Daniel snickered.  "Sorry, but I like my safety features.  I spent way too long as an American to not like them."  He pushed the door closed.  "Speaking of safety features.  This is the fuse box for this room and the room next door.  Just in case."  He bowed and pointed at the glass case on a single table.  "That's my precious."

"Big fan of Middle Earth?" Methos asked as he joined them.

"No, I think I'd have something against Elves.  They seem kinda smug."  He looked at him.  "I guess that's why I called you a fairy elf my first year," he said happily.

"I never did get around to kicking your ass for that," Methos reminded him.

"You could consider it a compliment.  The elves in that book were powerful creatures," Teal'c pointed out.

"True, but they were prigs," Methos offered.  "Seclusionist and pureblood prigs."  He looked at Xander again.  "And yet, you put up with Draco?"

"Leave my consort out of this before I have to challenge you in front of the whole dueling club," Xander warned, his voice growing colder.

"Fine," Methos agreed, backing down.  Xander had a temper and it's boundary was his family.  He could understand that.  "You've changed him a lot since you took him in."

"Thank you."  Xander bowed to him.  "That was a very nice compliment of my baby."  He looked at Danny again, watching as he removed the book to look at the first few pages.  "The first two hold the ritual introduction."

Teal'c looked at it and nodded. "I have not seen this one before."

"Yes, but we have other questions to bother you with," Xander said, giving him an evil grin.  Teal'c looked at him, one eyebrow going up.  "Around the same time as your gate thingy was first destroyed, some of us were taken."

"There is a colony of those like you.  We do not bother them," Teal'c admitted.  "Each time we have, they have some sort of warning system that tells them we are near and bad things happen."

"Bad things?" Daniel asked.  "Usually you're much more graphic."

"The Go'auld have not attacked that colony in nearly five hundred years.  Even those who had memories of it from their symbiot do not talk about it," he informed him.  "The memories were too horrible to talk about."

"Cool!" Xander said happily.  "Do you have any information about them?"

Teal'c shook his head.  "Not a bit.  There is not a gateway on their world.  They disabled it."  He bowed to Xander.  "May your house live long and prosper."

"I certainly hope so. If Ron doesn't eat us out of it," Xander said dryly.  "The bedrooms are upstairs.  We can start work on this tomorrow if you want.  My whole crew has permission to take the week off as long as we all write papers on it for classes."  Daniel gave him a look.  "My consort's in his seventh year and I was asked to attend it with him so we could help protect the school."

"Ah."  Daniel nodded.  "That must be fun."

"Not in the least," Xander sighed.  He waved.  "I'm going to bed now.  You guys can arrange yourselves however.  The blond young man is my consort.  The redhead and the one with black hair are my apprentices and the female with the redhead is his girlfriend and my little sister Dawn.  Don't feed Ron and don't take anything off him if he looks innocent.  His twin brothers run a joke shop."

"Are they triplets?"

"No, the twins are two years older."  Xander grinned.  "I adore them, they're neat guys, but I don't want to have to fix anything tomorrow.  I'm still really tired."  He jogged down the stairs.  "Night, guys," he called as he shut the door, waking Philip.

Philip snorted and stood up, yawning and stretching.  Then he went up the stairs where Tonks was pointing.  He found the work they'd already done and headed up, meeting the two new guests.  "Morning," he said quietly.

"Hi."  Daniel smiled at him.  "Which one are you?"

"Philip Callahan, former priest.  Scholar of dead languages."  They shook hands.  "Xander was having us help him with the book."

"Xander?" Teal'c asked.

"He goes by either," Philip told him.  "One's a second identity."  He shook his hand as well.  "I'll be the one translating your book."

"Do you need help?"

"Do you know any of the language in it?"

"I know there's a key in the back somewhere," he offered, holding out the bag it was in.  "You may check if you want."

"Thanks."  Philip sat at the table, pushing over their pages.  "This is what we've done so far.  Alex's been doing his formal one in a journal and has it with him.  That's also our notes on what everything means and a textbook.  Not Budge."

"He was one of you?"

Philip gave a little shrug but he was smirking.  "He was a squib, a non-magical one in a magical family.  He butted in often to gain attention.  Got a lot of things wrong."

"I feel the same way about his hieroglyphics."  Daniel set up his scanner.  "This is a digital image scanner.  I can set it up to read 3-D so we can get the grooves.  Hopefully they're deep enough."

"Hopefully. The only thing we could see doing was a light dusting of fingerprint powder or something."  Daniel looked horrified.  "That's why Blair and I suggested we call you. Xander didn't like it any more than you do."

"I guess he does know how to treat an artifact," Daniel said happily.  "I caught him throwing something while we were working on that dig together.  Teal'c, you could sit.  It's going to be a few moments."

"If it would not be any trouble, I believe I should go up to bed," he said, bowing to Philip.  "Good night."

"You too," Philip told him. He watched as Daniel looked over everything.  "Missing something?"

"Yeah.  I had an optical cube and it's not here," Daniel sighed.

"I'll go back and look," Tonks called up the stairs.  She jogged up them a few minutes later.  "It dropped.  That case and this bag," she said, handing them over.  "They were off the side in the grass."

"They're highly technical and calibrated for the energy fluxes at work."

"Yeah, Xander told us that you had a high chaos flux there.  Maybe you should get Ethan to look at those.  He might be able to shield them better."  She looked at Philip.  "Are you staying here?"  He nodded.  "Am I staying here?"  He nodded.  "Where?"

"Next to Greg and Emilia.  You'll have to ask a house elf," he said quietly.  She nodded and went to do that.

"What are house elves? That's the third time someone's mentioned them and I don't know that species."

"They're nice little guys.  Bred and born to serve, and they like it.  It happened long ago, so far back no one's sure how they came to be.  All we know is that they like to clean and cook.  They tie themselves to a family for their lives, until they're let go by giving them clothes. Never hand one a single piece or only a few pieces of laundry, let them take the whole basket."

"Okay, I can handle that," Daniel agreed.  "That's odd and sounds like slavery, but I guess it works for them.  Cultural relativity and all that."

Philip snickered.  "We've heard that before.  If you talk to them, they like this life.  It makes them happy.   They can sense your friend, so you won't see them over here but you might see one in the garden.  Oh."  He snapped his fingers.  "If you go through the garden, there's a large vine on one side.  Stay away from it.  If it traps you, freeze and it'll let you go.  It only works well at night, but it likes to catch everyone.  It caught a house elf yesterday."

"I can deal with that," Daniel agreed.  "What's it called?  Some sort of jungle vine?"

"No, it's a Devil's Snare, it's a creeping vine when it gets the chance."  Daniel looked at him.  "What else did you expect from us?"

"Does Alchemy work?"

"That depends on who you ask," Philip told him.  "The same as Wiccan magic depends on who you ask."

"Okay then," Daniel said, leaning on the table.  "Spill, all of it."  Philip chuckled.  "I mean it.  I don't want to know but if I don't it'll drive me insane."

"I'll let you read some of the textbooks on your down time," Philip promised.  "We'll have Alex's study over here soon enough."

"Thanks.  But still, you seem really normal.  Magic?"

Philip pulled his wand and gave Daniel blue bunny ears. "I learned that from Greg," he admitted with a grin.  "I'll see you tomorrow.  I'm over in the main house, where all the strangeness is.  Come over whenever you're ready."  He left him alone to feel up his new ears.

"I can hear better too," Daniel noted, hearing Teal'c humming while he showered.  "Okay, they're real. I can accept that.  I will figure that out later, after I do some translating work.  If he's right, that might lead us to a new ally, one who can kick everyone's ass and be happy with it."

***

Xander walked into his bedroom, already pulling off his shirt.  He saw Draco curled up on the bed in a little ball and decided to forgo a shower.  That was too tempting to miss.  He slowly crept over and climbed in behind his consort. Then he pulled him closer, earning a small snuffle and a wiggle from the younger man's backside.  Xander got a wolfish grin on his face as he leaned down and oh, so very gently bit Draco on the shoulder.

"Xander," Draco moaned, swatting back at him.  "No sex.  Tired.  Hufflepuffs will come up and try to help again."

"The only Hufflepuff here is Dawn," Xander whispered to him, leaning in to nibble on the small earlobe.  "And she won't break in.  She's too busy getting some of her own."  He moved down to taste the warm neck, enjoying the sweat on it.  Draco hadn't showered either.  He grabbed the lube and slicked himself up, subtly shifting until he was in the right position, then he started to stroke and knead his lover's body, making him moan and stretch out to get more.  The warming oil only lasted for five minutes but it was a favorite of his.  Draco could have very cold skin sometimes.   That blue blood didn't move oxygen very well it seemed.  As Draco shifted, Xander positioned himself, slowly sliding it the hole he had prepared and used earlier in the day.  It still had a bit of give so they'd be fine.

"Xander," Draco groaned, reaching back for him.  "More."

"More you can have," Xander agreed.  "More you shall get."  He pushed all the way in and cuddled him, holding him tightly.  "You are my sanity and my insanity," he confessed.  Draco turned his head to look back at him.  "You are."

"While that's very sweet, that's something to tell me to get me *into* bed, not during lovemaking, dear.  I'll drive you insane tomorrow and cure it.  How about that?"

Xander shook his head.  "I wish it were that simple."  He started to move, just gentle thrusts, only moving an inch or two.  "You are the one who keeps me calm and who can do the most to drive me insane."  He stroked over the firm stomach.  "I realized earlier that I would hurt anyone for you."

"That's sweet," Draco agreed, pulling free and turning over to rest against his lover's chest.  "I'm glad you're that involved in me.  It makes me happy.  No one really cared how I did before as long as I was living somewhat and able to produce an heir."  He looked up at him.  "You've freed me so much, Xander."

"Then are you happy with me out of gratitude or because you actually like me?" Xander asked.

"At first it was out of gratitude, but then you *freed* me to be myself.  Whoever I wanted.  You accepted me for the sometimes cruel and thoughtless being, but also the one who's always wanted something or someone to cling to.  I need my touchstones and you're it."  He slid around until he could climb on top.  "That's why I'm happy with you, because you don't try to change me."

"Except for the hairgel thing," Xander said.

"Except for that," Draco agreed, smiling at him.  "We'll talk about that some other time. I believe I was in for a long, slow, tender ride this time?"

"Said who?" Xander retorted, flipping them over and pinning Draco under him.  "I could be warming you up to have one of our marathon sessions."

"Then we can't work on the book."

"Hmm.  Good point."  Xander slid back inside the ready hole and Draco shifted up to meet him.  "I like this, Draco.  This peace, this quiet.  This lack of fighting every day."

"So do I.  I don't know how you survived over there for so long," Draco said, reaching up to touch Xander's face.  "Even if you suddenly reverted to your real age, I believe I'd stay with you."

"Even if I told you that they had to revive me twice during the epidemic?"

"Even if you were a nasty and dirty vampire like Spike," Draco promised.  "After all, you bite me like one."

"I crave your taste," Xander whispered, starting to move.  "That's why I lick you each morning, to make sure you're real."  He set himself a little higher, looking down at him.  "It's times like these that I don't feel out of place in the modern world.  Like you anchor both my lives together."  He started to work again.  "You're the one who joins the old school me and the new me and makes them form some sort of distorted puzzle, but it's only distorted a little bit," he explained as he continued to work himself in and out of his husband's body.  "Like the two are a prequel and a sequel to a story, only in reverse if you get me."

"I do," Draco admitted, reaching up to run his hands around Xander's chest.  "I do understand.  Though I think we're the sequel now, not the prequel."  He grinned.  "Or else you're going to have to go back in time and do that all over again."

"Not unless you're coming with me," Xander moaned, starting to move faster.  "I don't think I could take it without you.  All this is getting to be a lot to take in and I'm not sure what I'm doing most days anymore.  Am I reliving my childhood?  Am I making the same mistakes?  Is it going to take the same path, like that demented movie only over a longer time?"

Draco pulled him down to hold him.  "I swear, you're not making the same mistakes.  The last war you weren't that active in it.  This time you are.  You're much different now."

"I know, that's why I don't feel like myself some days.  I used to live on my horse in the summers and now I hate riding.  I can't stand the foods I used to consider my favorites before and I don't know why.  It's like some odd puzzle box and I'm the prize in the center."

"Then let me work out the arrangement," Draco soothed.  "You're not that mixed up.  Most people would need mental care after being deaged and forced to deny everything that they were for nearly fifteen years."  He stole a quick kiss, calming Xander down.  "I've never known anyone who could lie about themselves that much.  Yet you created a whole new you and learned to live like those people, even went back through their crappy school."  He stroked up the tense back.  "If you wrote your story down, no one would believe it.  No one would believe that you've managed to fight demons and vampires without what made you special in the past.  I heard one girl asking another if it was a punishment for you being bad in your former life."

Xander lifted his head.  "Who said that?"

"That Melody girl, the one with the tie problem."

"Oh.  What was the answer?"

"She asked Dawn and Dawn said it was a reward for her sister for being so good and patient.  That you were like some present from the Gods to help her.  She also said that she didn't deserve you, that you were too special to be a normal person."  He stole another kiss and pushed up a bit.  "More, love."

Xander relaxed and went back to their gentle lovemaking.  "I feel so out of sorts.  I used to write books and when I went back through them I sounded so pompous.  I was like your dad, only more pure and more wild.  I was the freak of my school years.  I was the freak among the curse breakers.  Did you know that I saw Bill once, right before I got shipped off to Sunnydale.  I was only barely conscious at the time but he was sitting beside my bed wondering if that was a punishment for me being myself."

"It wasn't," Draco said firmly, pinching him on the back.  "It was not a punishment.  You did nothing to deserve any punishment.  The only thing you did deserve was a reward.  You did things that no one else could.  So what if you were pompous!  You deserved that attitude.  You saved other curse breakers.  You rescued some of the Lost so families could have their grief.  You found untold treasures that even today people wonder about and you managed to survive through living in Hell for fifteen years.  It wasn't a punishment, it was a test to see if you deserved me."

Xander chuckled.  "Maybe you're right."

"I know I'm right," Draco said firmly.  "You've done so much, more than most kids out there today.  Hell, you've probably forgotten more than Weasley ever knew.  And yes, I mean Bill.  This was not a punishment, Xander.  A test possibly. A necessity probably, because without you the world would have ended.  That ascension would have spread.  Most wizards would have died trying to fight it.  You managed to save your town and a bunch of people when you saved the school from blowing up. You managed to save the town again when you took down the Initiative, and who knows how many foreigners you saved when you took them down."

"That was a lot more Buffy than me.  I helped with the spell and did some minor work."

"Xander, you were blocked from your powers.  You forced yourself to do magic that was unfamiliar, painful, and harmful to you to save people.  You got injured to save others.  You ought to be made an official knight, not just some Lord.  To those of us who know you, we know we can count on you.  Even if you're having a slacking day, we know you won't abandon any of us.  You've reacted in your sleep before when Dawn was having nightmares."

"I did that once.  I thought that it wasn't that bad of an emergency and went back to sleep.  The massacre was brutal, Draco.  I vowed to never do it again."

"And most of the rest of wizardkind would have cried about how sorry we were."

"I did that too."

"Yes, but then you moved on.  People can and do count on you."

"Yeah, but why me?" Xander asked.  He pulled out and flipped onto his side.  "I don't know why people count on me.  I'm like some freak out of time.  Like a time traveler who's got the year wrong and using the wrong handbook."

Draco slapped him on the stomach, making his lover wince.  "Stop that.  You're very in- touch with today's world.  You've lived in it more than most of us have."  Xander looked at him.  "So what if you prefer the old ways?  How many of us don't have electricity in our homes at all?  Shit, the Weasleys heat their home with firewood.  They have gas lamps.  They're one of the most muggle-loving families out there and they don't have electricity.  I've seen Arthur looking around your study, liking the lights and things.  He's envious because you know things about the muggle world that he doesn't."

"Maybe," Xander sighed, putting his head onto Draco's shoulder, underneath his head so it could be cuddled.  "I don't want to be a freak among my own people."

"Then don't be.  Find yourself a new horse.  Teach me how to ride.  Des was thinking about restarting the farm anyway.  Or if you want to, let Dawn be the one to teach wizards how to be mugglefied.  I'm sure she'd be thrilled to have her CD player working again."  He pushed his head up, looking down at his mate.  "Are you done with your monthly bout of feeling odd and guilty?"  Xander nodded, looking at him.  "Good.  Now get me back into the mood."

"I think you're beautiful when you're being logical," Xander said, running his thumb across his consort's cheekbone.  "I also think you're beautiful when you're defending me."  Draco caught his thumb to suck on, making him moan.  "You really like me?"

"I really like you," Draco admitted once his mouth was free.  "If I didn't, I wouldn't be here.  Even if my mother had agreed, you'd have been stabbed by now and the world would have ended without you.  So let's get over this pity party....."

Xander pushed himself up and kissed him, hard.  "Show me?" he begged.

"Of course I can," Draco agreed, shifting enough to grab some lube and apply it to himself.  They didn't do this often, but it was very nice when it did.  Usually Xander clung to him afterwards. It was like a reaffirmation of their bond, only it made them hot and sweaty and they got very noisy.  He slowly prepared his mate, gently calming him down.  "You are my prize," he hissed as he got on top of him and pushed himself inside.  Xander groaned but a few seconds rest was all he needed.  "You are my prize.  If anything, you were deaged so you'd be around when I was ready.  No other reason, just my selfish needs."  He started to go harder, Xander liked it harder.  Most of the time.  This time he wasn't responding so he slowed down and pulled out.  "On your side."  Xander slowly shifted, laying as requested.  Draco slid back inside and pulled his lover back against him, holding him tightly.  "Some higher being knew that you'd be needed now more than ever, Alexander.  It knew that I'd need you and that Dawn would need you."  Xander relaxed in his arms.  "It knew that the world would need what you can do and that I especially would need what you could do.  Think about what a brat I would be without you in my life."

Xander chuckled so Draco went on.  "You are my rock of strength.  You make me want to act better, even to the stupidest muggle-borns.  Your influence actually had me feeling guilt.  Do you know how rare that is, for a Malfoy to feel guilt, and about something they hadn't done?  We've spent centuries training that emotion out of each of us.  Yet, you made me feel it because I knew that not switching would get a lot of students hurt.  You made me feel more than I ever have before.  Before, the world was like those black and white pictures that you get on late night TV.  Now, my life is in vivid color and the sounds are so loud they're deafening.  All because you had the courage to stick out the horrors of your life and come to me."  He kissed the back of his mate's neck and heard the soft sigh.  So he lifted his head up and looked over Xander's shoulder, seeing his eyes closed.  He was nearly asleep.  "Want me to stop?"

"Never.  I'll spank you if you stop."

"That's fine, I won't stop then," Draco promised, refusing to speed up.  He could finish off after Xander was asleep.  "Before I couldn't even imagine me sleeping in the same room as my lovers.  I thought it was dangerous, I had to worry about them killing me in my sleep."  Xander snorted, slowly drifting off.  "I trust you, Xander.  With everything.  Otherwise I wouldn't have locked you in the closet last week and done you stupid and nearly blind."  Xander gave a soft purr and Draco came.  That contentment was all he needed.  He realized it made him happy.  "It's a good thing I'm not the poufy vampire.  Or else we'd have a return of the old me," he whispered.   Xander snuggled back against him so he gave him a squeeze.  "You rest.  You'll need your energy to move books tomorrow because I'm not getting sweaty.  I have an appointment to go to with Des."  Xander patted his side until Draco found his hand and held it.  "Shhh, you sleep, Xander.  You need the rest.  This week is going to be really long."

Xander nodded, relaxing back against his lover's body like he was boneless.  This was the life he felt happiest in.

Ambassadorial Privilege.

Teal'c decided to take his meditation in the garden that morning.  It was very calming out there and no one seemed to mind.  For the two days they had been around he had been asked many questions about their missing knowledge and people.  He had told them all he could, but it was not that much in his opinion.  He supposed they were desperate enough to take anything so he had said all he knew.  Including about the battles and them defeating the invaders.  He hoped it gave them some comfort to know that they existed on in solitude.  He sat himself under a tree, making sure he was off the path, and closed his eyes.  Soon he felt something watching him and opened them, looking at the little creature.  He tipped his head off to the side to get a better look at it since it was peeking around a large bush.  "Hello," he said quietly.

"Yous not invaders?" it asked.  He shook his head, staying relaxed.  "Yous one of those dogmen?"

"I was.  I escaped when I found out there were other ways.  I help those fighting them now," he told it.  It was a strange ambassador but he thought he had seen it somewhere before.  Could this be another alien race.  "Do I know of your kind?"

Daniel walked out with a mug of tea, sitting next to him.  "You're a house elf," he told it.  It stepped out from behind the bush, nodding.  "You were mentioned to us.  The guy who owns the house said you could tell what Teal'c is."

"We's can always tell," the house elf told him.  "All of us."  Daniel smiled and held out a hand so the house elf shook it.  "I's is Bastium."

"I'm Daniel and this is Teal'c."

"Are you an ambassador?" Teal'c asked him.

Bastium shook his head.  "No, I's is a house elf."  He stood up straighter, looking Teal'c over.  "If yous left, why yous here?"

"He came with me to translate a book," Daniel offered, sipping his tea.  "It's in Thinial, or some off-shoot of Asgardian."

The house elf nodded, smirking at him.  "Book is in Creation.  Elders writes in that."

"You knew the Elders?  The ones who predate the Asgardians?" Daniel asked.

"House elves was made by them," he said proudly.  "We knows the snakey ones.  We always knows."

"Then you must have been the defense system of the stolen ones," Daniel told.  The house elf shrugged.  "When the wizards were stolen, were some of you too?"

"Many of us lived back then," he said sadly.  "Many died protecting our masters.  Our Masters be snatched and a few of us held on."   He bowed to Teal'c.  "If yous run away, then why yous come *here*?"

"Because I have some knowledge of the ones who were stolen," Teal'c told him.  "I have shared what I know."

The house elf nodded.  "Then yous not bad.  Wes no worry, come serve yous as well."  He walked off, heading back into the kitchen.  He told the other house elves, spreading it through their network.  Soon, one of them has passed it onto another house elf outside the house and on it went.  Until even the ones serving in the Ministry's kitchens knew.

One of the aurors overheard them talking about it and interrupted.  "How do you know about that being?" he asked.

"House elfs always know," the house elf informed him, putting more mashed potatoes onto his plate.  "Wes always know them, protects against them we do."

"Thank you.  Would you be willing to tell the rest of us about them?"  The house elf nodded and went back to work.  He went to sit with his boss, telling him what he had learned.  The aurors were very interested in this gate thing.  It could be a very bad thing and they'd have to defeat it.  Another house elf walked by them.  "Did you know more than the other one?"

The head of the aurors looked at him.  "Do you know about these gates?"

The house elf looked very scared.  "Dogmen comes through them," she told him.  "Three defeated, all stolen they was.  Pretty with them.  Able with them.  Kingly with them."  She nodded.  "Theys all go after the dogmen so wes protect."

"Thank you."  The boss smiled at them.  "Would you be willing to tell us more about them?"

"Are there any books about this?" the auror asked.  "An account by a survivor?"

The house elf nodded.  "Purged but still here.  Find them, find them all."  She filled their glasses then walked on.

"Purged?" the auror asked.  "Knowledge?"

"About three Minsters ago, we had one that was paranoid.  He managed to purge anything before Merlin from the archives.  We don't know where he put them but we know he didn't destroy most of it."

"Hmm.  Could that be something that we protect?  We protect a few hidden sites around the country."

"We were an Empire then, there's every chance he sent them to a far reaching spot on it.  They could be somewhere in India rotting."

"Would anyone from back then know?" the auror asked.  The boss frowned and then shrugged.  "I'm thinking Destina Dumass isn't the oldest member revived.  She would have been a child, but there are older paintings in their gallery than any other family outside the Snapes and the Malfoys."

"They might know something," the head auror admitted.  "I'll let you head up when Tonks comes in for her daily report.   She's said they've found some very interesting stuff in that book so far.  The etchings in the paper are a map.  Not of here."  The auror looked stunned.  "If they've got one of those gate monstrosities working over there, and are fighting them, then there's every chance that they can use it to fight more."

"Or we might be able to use it to see if we can retrieve our lost ones," the auror noted.  "Who would have been the there?  Most of the families back then were assimilated."

"Three families have been very firm on there always being a member and always having someone who could be revived," the head auror said quietly.  "There have always been frozen Dumasses.  There has always been one frozen Snape heir, usually a maiden, and there has always been a Malfoy by some name or another.  There have been other families alive that long.  There has always been a Weasley, even back then.  There has always been a Longbottom for some reason or another.  There has always been a member of the Dumbledore clan.  There has always been a member of the Flitwick clan, again under many names."  The auror looked stunned.  "The main book of names is very enlightening.  I had to help my wife trace back someone for our son.  The thing is so tangled it's not funny, but there are five scrolls that are separate.  They intermix sometimes, but not always.  The Clans Dumass and Snape, the Clan Malfoy, the Clan Weasley, the clan Flitwick, and the Clan Longbottom.  Longbottom's seem to intermix more often than not, like they're the strength under a lot of the families to keep them going.  The Dumass and Snapes are mirror families.  Their initial family is off the same person, the person who freed them from the Church after bringing them here.  Malfoys and Weasleys tend to do selective mixing and Flitwicks are more like the Longbottoms but they go for power and knowledge.  There's been no few in the side lines of the Dumass and the Snapes."

"Then what about McGonagall?  She's one of our strongest witches today?"

"She's off Dumbledore's, a sideline way back when.  One cousin went rogue and formed the family when he was kicked out.  Sort of like Justinius Mandrake's family.  Technically, he's a Dumass, Alex's only older brother; but they kicked him out for being too dark.  The man conjured demons and played with them too often for their tastes."  The boss picked up his fork.  "Anything new on that MacLeod person?"

"Not a bit.  We know he's like Methos but we can't figure out why there's magic around him or how he found the Leaky.  I was going to ask one of the Dumasses to look at him, see if they can't memory charm him after doing a good spell cleaning.  They seem to excel at that."  His fork and knife paused in their cutting.  "Has there always been a cursebreaker among the Dumass clan?"

"Supposedly," his boss admitted.  "They've always been sensitive to the flows of magic.  You can even see it in the Snape line.  Something like that monstrosity would probably make the current Snape heir shudder in revulsion.   Alex reported he nearly passed out from it's strength."  He ate a bite of steak and chewed slowly before swallowing and going on.  "I'll tell you what, we could use some of the Dumass clan in the upcoming battle.  Alex has found many things over his career and took the time to learn from them.  He taught that same skill to his apprentices.  You see it when you watch Bill Weasley.  I'd like to know what they know that we don't."

"We could ask them to tell us," the auror offered.

Tonks brought her plate over and sat next to their boss.  "Hi.  I came early, it saved me from Alex pouting because his grandmother had taken his consort cow shopping."

"They're restarting their farm?"

"They had to.  Draco told him Destina was very concerned about how expensive food was in this day and age.  They're restarting their lives."

"Good," the head auror agreed.  "It suited them before."

"I wonder if they'll restart the unicorn breeding," the male auror offered.  "They used to be known for it."

"Aunt Cordy said she might," Tonks told him.  "She said she wasn't sure.  Said there weren't too many pure people in the family these days.  In her day one child was always kept pure until another was found and trained."  She took a bite of her own steak.  "This is really good."

"The house elves know something about this whole alien thing," their boss told her.

She nodded.  "One of them faced the alien down in the garden this morning to make sure he was peaceful.  He said he had escaped from his former masters once he found out that there was a way that didn't involve slavery."  She cut and ate another bite, swallowing as quickly as she could.  "Apparently they've got a small resistence going."

"Good," the male auror said firmly.  "They need one.  The gall of those things is even worse than Lucius Malfoy's."

"True," Tonks agreed.  "They've managed half the book already, but they keep running into a few sigals that neither side know.  It's marked with a weapon marking but also a food one according to Sandburg and Callahan.  I'm not even pretending to know what that means."  She smiled at her boss.  "They have found a mention of a house elf.  They were called helper creatures in the diary."

"They know it's a diary?"

"They know it's a dairy, it was done in about a week and it covered over a year's worth of events.  All about the gate.  Though Alex will get some use out of it.  It mentions others left diaries and hid them with their treasures."

"Did it mention anything about three wizards?" the male auror asked, leaning closer.

She nodded, stirring up her potatoes.  "It did.  According to the translation I've seen, two wizards and a witch got together to take down the gate thingie while one led the rest of the army.  A Snape witch along with a Malfoy and a Weasley wizard broke the thing while a Dumass led the charge.  The same one who got them free of the Church.  He was nearly two hundred then and starting to look very far gone.  They thought it'd be his last act but he was one of those stolen.  As were the three others.  They were taken as a last ditch move.  The Malfoy male died.  The Weasley male and the Snape female continued to live on."  She leaned closer to her boss.  "There is another something interesting.  The book says that there was a child.  Newborn, barely old enough to move.  The Weasley's last heir and he couldn't bare to part with her.  She was mentioned in a single line that was then crossed out.  We found it under the lettering.   She hasn't been mentioned again and she wasn't sacrificed.  The line said she lived on."

The head auror dropped his fork.  "You can't possibly think that's where Virginia came from," he hissed.

"I don't know.  But it would be an accessory Weasley line and she might have been saved or protected.  I checked on the family scroll, the child's name is not on it."  Her boss swallowed.  "If that's true, then we do have a whole branch of Weasleys that haven't been noticed for years.  They're probably external wizards and witches."

"Oh, dear Merlin," the male auror breathed.  "That would explain why we never found her.  It would explain why she's attracted to trouble."

"Not all external magic users are troublesome," their boss pointed out dryly.  "Just the ones we've had to deal with.  The rest are rather hidden and we don't have to deal with them."  He looked at Tonks.  "Can you prove it?"  She shook her head.  "How would we prove it if she's not on the chart?"

"There's a birth chart," she told them.  "It's fully accurate of every child that was ever born.  Molly used it to show the twins that their wife is having twins.  A boy and a girl by the way."

"A Weasley female?" the male auror asked. "When was the last one before Virginia?"

"Three generations or so," Tonks said with a little one-sided shrug.  "Weasley women are rare.  But, there are muggle tests to tell family relation."

"Yes, but that far down the line?" their boss asked.  "It would nearly be out of them."

"She's exactly like them," Tonks offered.  "Nearly exactly.  Same hair, same face, same wand nearly.  Hers, Bill's, and Ron's wands are all different from the rest of the family. They're the only ones with unicorn cores.  The rest have plant cores instead.  Plus, we know Virginia can feel power flows.  That's why she's so good in Defense."  She ate more of her food, digging in so she wouldn't be late to check in.  "It bears looking into," she said between bites.

"It does," their boss admitted. "Thank you, Tonks.  Hurry up and I'll take the rest of your report later."  She nodded, shoveling in the food.  "You as well," he told the male auror.  "We'll have to try to send someone back with them."  The male auror beamed and nodded, hurrying his meal as well.  He ate slower but enjoyed it more.  It was a privilege of command to set the time-tables.

***

Draco looked at the beasts, then at Grandma Des.  "Are you sure we can have animals?  I noticed none of our neighbors have any."

"I checked with the town over us, they said it was more than acceptable," she soothed.  "We kept them on the other side of the pond, in those fields.  There used to be a barn out there too."

"I'm sure it's easily rebuilt," he offered as they continued down the line.  He shied away from one nose dripping with snot.  "Eww.  People consider these beasts *cute*?"

"They are when they've been cleaned up," she offered.  She looked at the owner.  "I noticed a lot of males.  Culled?"

He shook his head.  "The business has been down since that whole mad cow thing."  He patted the side of a fat cow.  "She's due soon."

"Can we test for this mad cow thing?" Draco asked him.  He nodded.  "Before someone gets sick?"

"All my herd have been tested and immunized.  It's not a problem."  He looked at Destina again.  "I know you."  She smiled slightly.  "Why are you buying cows?"

"Because I don't like to depend on the outside world if it's not necessary," she offered.  "I'd rather have a farm full of beasts than anything else."  She looked around.  "Have you seen Molly?"

"She's over by the goats," he said with a grin.  "Seemed to think she could use a new one."  He led the way over.  "Molly, luv, how are you finding them?"

She looked at him and grimaced.  "Scrawny," she told him.

He chuckled and hugged her.  "I know but they're young 'uns.  We've got a few plumper, older ones in the barn if you wanted a look see."

"Maybe later," she said, giving him a pinch on the cheek.  "You always were so nice helping me pick out chickens."  She looked over at Draco.  "Didn't like the cows?"

"He thinks they're dirty and nasty," Destina said mildly.  She looked at the farmer.  "I'm looking to start my own herd of milk cows.  A few food animals wouldn't be amiss, but I'd almost rather have milk than meat animals."

"Well, we've got most of a herd around here somewhere," he admitted, taking off his slightly crushed stove-pipe hat and scratching his head.  He whistled, making his wife look over at him.  "Where's those milk beasts?"

"The north field today," she called back.  "The golf cart's gassed up."

"That's good.  Thank ye."  He led them to the golf carts, flying off with them to look at the herd.   He saw Draco's look and grinned.  "Sometimes the muggles have good ideas.  Much easier to move hay with a tractor than with mules."  He zoomed around the herd, rounding them together.  "How's that one?"

Destina looked then nodded.  "They'll do.  It's a nice sized herd.  Forty?"

"Forty-three," he corrected as he landed, leading her over.  "They're pretty tame.  We milk them all the time."  He nudged her gently.  "We can also make you a good deal on a milking system.  Very handy, can do fifty cows in under an hour."  She looked impressed with that.  "Another piece of muggle technology that's fairly handy."  He got out of Molly's way. "You thinking about a milk beast too, Molly, luv?"

"Arthur and I have talked about it but we haven't come to any agreement," she sighed.  "I think they'd take a lot of work and more food than they're really worth, he says I'm prejudice against the darlings because I'd rather eat them."  She patted one cow's side, earning a startled moo.  "Sorry, dear, don't worry about it.   You're far from eating age."

Destina laughed.  "True, Molly, very true."  She opened one cow's mouth, looking at her teeth.  "Fairly clean," she said, letting the head go.  She walked around it, nodding at the configuration of the back.  "How much do they put out?"

"About six gallons since they're all natural.  No tampering or steroids given to my beasts," he said proudly.  "Most of the herd is Jersey, but we've got a few crosses in there to try out the milk production."

Destina nodded.  "Good enough.  I'll take them and three meat beasts, one ready for slaughter now would be fine but the other two can wait."

"Yes, ma'am," he said happily, leading them back to the golf cart. "I heard you saying you needed to rebuild the barn.  How long do you think that'll take?  So I know when to deliver and all."

"It shouldn't take too terribly long," Molly told him, looking back at Destina.  "It is the down season for contractors."

Destina leaned forward.  "Is that milking machine electric or magical?"

"We've got a magical one but it's more and it's prone to breakdowns because it pasteurizes at the same time."  He landed them in front of the barn.  "That means that it'll heat it a bit to kill all the germs before cooling it down."

"You heat milk?" Draco asked.

"Only to kill the germs.  Only for a few moments," he informed him.  "Never seen a milk beast before?"

"If we had any, I've managed to avoid them thus far," Draco admitted, looking at the long line of cows.  "They are rather...dirty."

"They can be, but no worse than pigs and they're actually very clean," the farmer told him.  He smiled at Molly.  "When'll you been needing a new one?"

"We could use a new male," she offered.  "But we're going to put that off until the spring births.  Arthur always thought them the best."  He laughed and nodded.  "Destina, is that all you were getting?"

"I would like a few pigs and a few goats as well," she admitted.  "I don't want to spend Alex broke though."

Draco snorted.  "Don't worry about it, Alex has plenty of money.  The boy's got four personal vaults, Grandmother, really.  If it makes you happy, spend one of them bare.  He likes to see you happy."

"Let me check with him about the prices," Destina offered.  "May I summon him?"

"Sure, just don't apparate from there or you'll spook all the cows and they'll stampede."

"Thank you."  She created a small portkey and headed home, smiling at her boy when she landed.  "Alexander?"  He came outside instead of opening the window.  "I've found a milk herd and some food beasts but I don't want to spend you blind," she said quietly.

He grinned.  "Let me do one thing then we can arrange it.  Most of my money went muggle and I'm moving it back now.  Tell him you'll pay him on delivery."

"Can you come with me?"

"Of course, Grandmother.  I'm going with Des," he called into the house.  He took her arm and they portkeyed back, landing beside Molly.  "Hi, Molly."  He kissed her on the cheek then laid a bigger one on his consort.  "Hi, dear."

"Good morning, pervert," Draco said happily, giving him a pinch on the neck.  "Do you know what he did this morning, Mrs. Weasley?  The man licked up the bridge of my nose.  Said it tasted good."

"He forgot to eat dinner," Des said dryly.  "He's playful like that, Draco, get used to it.  Otherwise you'll find yourself flummoxed when he's in a naughtier mood."  She looked at the farmer. "This is my grandson Alex. He handles all the money."

Xander shook his hand.  "All our money's being moved back from the muggle places I've stashed it.  If you'll give me an amount, I'll have a credit slip made out."

"Well, she wanted forty-six head in addition to some pigs and goats," he offered.  "No chickens?"  She sighed and looked at Alex.  "Chickens?"

"I hated the little beasts but they were good to take your aggression out on.  It usually meant we got a chicken stew that night."  The farmer and Molly both laughed at that.  "We can do that.  Give me a pretty figure and I'll head to the bank immediately."

The farmer pulled a calculator out of his back pocket and tapped in a few numbers, showing him the result.  Draco and Molly both whistled but Xander shook his hand again.  "Let me know when you've got it moved and I'll start work on rounding them up."

"Sure, give me a few," he offered.  He walked down the driveway, apparating from down there so as to not spook the animals.  It sent some chickens scurrying but nothing else.  He walked up the alley into the bank, smiling at the goblins he passed.  "Hi," he said happily, pulling out his paperwork.  "I'm checking on the status of a move?"  The goblin looked at the paperwork, then at him. "What?" he asked patiently.

"The amount being transferred back is not that much," he noted.  He showed Xander the entry.  "That is what they told us."

"Then they're going to have a problem called death," Xander said, still smiling.  "I'll be right back."  He apparated there, summoning his favorite sword once he landed.  He smiled at the receptionist.  "You guys stole my money?" he asked.  "I'd like to chop someone's head off over it."

"They're upstairs, sir, in a meeting," the succubus said in her most seductive voice.  Xander simply looked at her.  "Oh.  You're not reacting."

Xander lifted his sword, waving it.  "My money, now.  Or else I'm going through this place."

"Who are you to threaten us?" she sneered.

"Alexander Harris.  Or Xander Harris, white knight of Sunnydale and Buffy's protector."  Her mouth opened.  "Also known as Alex 'Carnage' Dumass, the Breaker.  Also known as the Demon Slayer of Baghdad.  Your choice which one you want to call me of course," he said with a sneer of his own.  "My money, now, or else I work out some of my frustrations with a translation."  She squealed as she ran for cover, summoning someone higher up and the security squad.  Xander spun and killed those demons, only wounding the humans and human-looking ones but leaving them all lying on the ground.  Then he looked at the higher up as he cleaned off his blade.  "I believe you took over seventy percent interest when you moved my money back to Gringott's," he noted.  "I'm sure I can be ...reasonable if you can."  The bank's president came down personally to talk to him, trying to keep him calm.  He had body armor but he didn't think it'd stand against this one.  Xander waved at one of the remaining security people.  "Sorry about that, but I did warn them I was a tad bit frustrated before I opened up the can of whoop-ass."  He followed the president up to his office, being reasonable about it.  By the time he left, his affairs were in order and more of his money was heading to Gringotts.  He went back to the bank, putting his sword onto his back once he got inside the bank.  "Morning," he said as he walked to that goblin.  "Has it changed?"

"Indeed," the goblin said, looking down at him. "What did you do?"

"I showed my displeasure at their actions," Xander said with a bright grin.  He pulled out a key ring.  "I also need to transfer the three gold keys back to this branch and the silver key as well if possible."

The goblin looked at them, then nodded, filling out the forms for it.  "Are you a curse breaker?"

"Freelance and training others," Xander told him, bowing slightly.  "Alexander Dumass."

"Ah.  I've heard of you," the goblin agreed dryly.  "I've also heard of your temper."

"They took seventy percent as a fee," Xander told him.

The goblin shook his head.  "That is why we do not deal with them."

"I wouldn't have if the main office hadn't tried to fuck me over," Xander told him gently.  The goblin nodded, it understood those sort of things.  "Will there be any problem?"

"Not in the least," the goblin told him.

"Good, then I also need to do a credit slip for that account."

"Your card took up the allowance we had set aside for the transition period," the goblin told him. "It will be back tonight."

"We're buying farm animals.  Can we get a credit slip dated tomorrow?"  The goblin nodded and pulled one out, dating it such.  "Thanks.  I'll need it for sixteen hundred galleons."  The goblin looked alarmed.  "We're restarting our farm," he admitted. "The rest is for the barn."

"I see.  Would you need this cashed?"  Xander nodded. "Perhaps we can do two instead then."  He made them out.  "I am making them out dated today for these other accounts, but I will note there is no charge forthcoming from it.  That should help you more until it comes free."  He handed them down.  "There you are."  He handed back the keys after finishing the paperwork.  "And those are yours as well."

"Thank you, Master Goblin.  You've been very helpful."  Xander wandered off, heading back to where his consort was.  He handed over the larger slip.  "They're being very reasonable today," he told him.

"Why are you wearing a sword, dear?" Molly asked patiently.

He looked at her and grinned.  "Because the demon bank I was using while I straightened things out with Gringotts tried to charge me seventy percent of my money to move it back.  They decided ten was much more profitable for them.  Less hospital bills."

The farmer laughed.  "And here I thought your nature was rumors."

"No, it wasn't," Xander told him.  "I sharpened my skills while I was on the Hellmouth and magicless."  He put an arm around Draco's waist.  "I'm going to get someone to build the barn today.  It shouldn't be more than four or five days if they use a building spell."  He looked at his grandmother.  "Milking equipment?"

"There's a magical one that likes to clog or a mundane one that doesn't and you'll still have to pasteurize," the farmer offered.

"I'll have the lines run out to the barn," Xander told him.  "Thank you."  He kissed Draco on the cheek.  "Where to next?"

"We were going to look at horses and carriages," Des admitted.  "Did you want to come?"

"I haven't ridden in ages, Gram.  I'm not sure I can anymore."  He handed Draco back.  "He wants to learn though so get with him.  Or use more modern ones if you want.  I don't mind."  He left, going back down the driveway to apparate home.  Then he pulled out his floo directory and found the builder who had redone the house.  He called him, smiling at him.  "Hi.  Wanna build us a barn too?"

The contractor laughed.  "We won't mind the work at all, Mr. Dumass.  Is your family restarting their herds?"

"Milk and food animals only for right now.  We're still considering the unicorn herd.  It'd be nice so I didn't have to pay retail for unicorn creme, but none of us around here could touch them anymore."

"That's fine.  I'll be up in a while to look at the spot you want them on."  He cut the connection.

Xander leaned back, satisfied with his day's work.   He patted himself down but his keys were handed to him by Draco later that night.  He was a good husband.

***

Xander looked over his translations, noticing they still had a few gaps.  "Are all these those funny mixed symbols?"  Daniel nodded.  "Wonderful.  And the etchings?"

"I've almost got those digitized," Daniel admitted, tapping a few more keys. He remembered to save as well since he had blown the fuses last night.  He heard a thump outside and looked out.  "Xander, someone just made a barn appear."

"It's a building spell.  Only the shell so far," he said with a grin.  "It's much faster but more costly.  Next they'll run electric out to it so we can have a milk herd."  He looked at the computer.  "You've got a program to translate?"

"It's something we had written for us," Daniel admitted, tapping in another few things.  Then he hit the 'go' button and it translated the etchings on the first page.  "Just like you thought, it's a map.  It's for down here according to the coordinates."  He looked at Xander.  "How did you want to play that?"

"Is it my stuff or your stuff?" Xander asked.

"Yours.  Looks like diaries."

"Then I'd like those.  Anything off world, any knowledge that won't get free and isn't strictly magical, or anything magical that can be censored, you can have a copy of."

"That's most of the book so we appreciate that," Daniel said with a smile for him.  He heard a moo and looked out.  "It looks like your cows are here."

Xander opened the window.  "Teal'c, did my grandmother just walk past?"

"She did," he called back.  "She said they were moving now instead of tomorrow because of the weather.  The barn is new?"  Xander nodded.  "How?"

"Ask Grams.  She's better at them than I am."  He grinned and waved before shutting the window.  "That is pretty cool.  Now we can have real cheddar cheese all the time without having to buy it."

"It takes time to age."

"Yeah, but the fresh has a unique taste and tastes really good in some casseroles.  We'll be mostly self-sufficient soon."  He leaned closer to the screen.  "I know that place," he said, pointing at one.  "We had a dig scheduled there about ten years ago.  I was deaged then so I don't know what happened."  He paged down through the list and stopped.  "I know that dig.  We found weapons there."

"That's not down here," Daniel told him.  "That's in the blue mountains of Teal'c's home."  He grimaced.  "I will need someone to talk to my boss about what to do in case we find anything of that nature.  Do we have a Ministry in the US?"  Xander shook his head.  "Not at all?"

"You've got a strange things unit in the FBI.  That's really about it.  I saw her once after the spell we did to take down the Initiative.  She's overworked badly.  You could send it to us, or even to the Canadians and have them send it to us.  Canada's Ministry is part of ours still."

"Yeah, but how would we do that?" Daniel asked.  "How do we approach them or find them?"

Blair stuck his head in.  "Ask and you shall receive.  Jim and I have a friend who's a cop who works with a Mountie."  He grinned.  "And he knows something about magic so I'd hazard a guess he knew someone who knew enough to know where to go.  I can call him."  Xander pointed at the phone.  "Are you sure? I'll have to call Vegas."

"Call Vegas," Xander said with a shrug.  "It's fine with me.  I can pay the phone bill."   He looked at Daniel.  "Can you print that out once we've got it all down?  The Ministry locally doesn't exactly use computers.  Most of them don't know what one is."

"Sure," Daniel agreed, nodding.  "Do you have a printer?  I forgot to bring one."

"I do," Blair told him.  "It's back at the house though."  He dialed Ray K's cell.  "Hey, it's me.  Put on the Mountie if he's close.  Nah, more of the strange that I deal with needing some Canadian liaison."  He laughed.  "Yeah, I know, it's spreading like a disease.  Soon we'll all have Canadians working with us.  But hey, it might cut down on our injuries and stress.  Think about how much they could do if they got to carry guns and do the paperwork."  Ray obviously laughed and handed over the phone.  "Hey, Benny, it's Blair."  He leaned against the wall, looking at Daniel.  "No, we're in a bit of a quandary.  If we find something magical in the US, how do we get it out of there?"  He listened as the Mountie recited the law.  "And what if it's found covertly?  And possibly Ancient?  I know you said there aren't any rules but there also isn't an official channel either."   He nodded and made writing motions, so Daniel handed him paper and a pen.  "Okay, got that.  And what if we wanted to go through someone more official, say through you guys since the Brits are related?"  He smiled and wrote down the address.  "Are you sure?  No, I hadn't known you had picked up a dangerous and wanted felon wizard.  Anyone I knew?  Cool!"  He laughed.  "Thanks for that as well, he bothered me to no end.  Yeah, sure.  Nope, I'll bring Jim and we'll be out tomorrow if he doesn't have anything.  Thanks, Benny, pat Ray's hair for me.  Have fun in the land of sin.  Sure enough, I can do that.  Bye."

He hung up and made another note, putting that part into his pocket.  "Benny wanted some real food sent to him."  He handed over the notes he had made.  "Okay, we've got two options.  There's a small form we can fill out saying we found an artifact and describing what we're doing with it.  There's also a 'finders, keepers' law about such things.  I'm not sure if that'd work if you found it somewhere else and brought it around, Danny."  He looked at his old buddy.  "There is a Canadian Ministry, as Xander noted.  Benny knew their address because he's the one who brought Vachnis in from the snow drift."  Xander chuckled at that, that news had even reached him via Ethan.  "He also knew their address and someone who used to work there.  Do you guys have an arrangement with the Canadians already?"

"We have a small tech arrangement.  We haven't needed anything else yet," Daniel admitted.  "I'm not sure how Hammond would want to handle that."

"Can we get hold of him and put him in the same room as our Ministry?" Xander asked.  "Maybe even face-to-face instead of via chatting device?"

"I could call him and tell him that we needed him," Daniel offered.  "He might panic until I told him why but he should be agreeable and it would be easier to liaison about the Ministry coming with us that way."

"That would be the most handy," Blair agreed.  "But that doesn't mean whomever's going over can remove items.  Personally, the Canadians have the best storage facility for the most dangerous things."

"Sweeden does," Xander told him.  "Gringotts has one in a cave that no one can find. It's up near the Arctic Circle and it's totally unreachable by land or magic without special devices and permission.  A lot of permission.  I had to bring something there once and I was nearly toasted by the emanations before they passed me through."  He stood up and stretched.  Then he squealed.  "Ooh, a unicorn!  Aunt Cordy decided to go ahead with it," he said happily.  "And she's got a baby!"

Daniel came over to look out the window.  "They exist," he said quietly, staring in awe.  He could wrap his mind around magic but this made it real.  "Is the virgin thing real?"  Xander nodded, continuing to stare.  "Are they soft?"

"They're very soft," Xander said quietly. "I used to sneak out to nap in the stalls when I was little.  We had a whole herd of them for milk and protection.  They were really nice."  He picked up the walkie-talkie and called the house.  "Hey, Ron, come outside and bring Dawn.  A unicorn mother and baby is out by the gazebo."  He signed off and watched as his little sister got her first view of a unicorn, smiling as her squeal echoed up even through the closed window.  He opened it to look out.  "Dawn, no touching.  The virgin thing is real."  He noticed Teal'c staring.  "My family used to protect a whole herd of them," he explained.  "We used to milk them and everything."  He grinned at Dawn.  "Look at the baby, it's barely got a horn.  We'll have to protect it until it finishes growing one because it's vulnerable."  He looked over as Ethan joined the kids, smirking at him. "It doesn't hurt you to be near something so pure?"  Ethan looked up, tears on his face.  "Chaos has it's own place, Ethan, it means you can play with whatever side you want," he reminded him.  "Blair, go get Jim."  Blair hurried off to kidnap Jim and Simon from work, bringing Philip and Methos running to see as well.  Xander noticed his Aunt Cordy looking at them.  "Not your doing?"

"No, but we've always had a very safe-feeling land," she reminded him, barely audible.  "Alex, I'll need you to lay protections around a stall in the barn for the mother and child.  She obviously won't go into the gazebo with all the stuff we've done in there."

"I've got a better idea," he told her, using his wand to reopen the old hiding place in the garden.  "That hasn't been used in years and it's protected by white magic."  He looked at the mother.  "Test that and see if it meets your needs.  If not, we will fill a stall for you in the new barn."  The mother stepped over and sniffed at the opening, then inside.  She reared back.  "I think we've got a new boggart in there," Xander noted.

Cordy waded in and pulled the thing out, throwing it toward the Devil's Snare.  "There you go, mama.  Try that now," she offered, bowing and moving away.  The mother unicorn sniffed and walked inside, then came out and bleeted at her son, who trotted in as well.  "Leave the door open, Alex. I'll get her some hay for the floor."  She ran off for the barn, going to inform Des and all them.

Xander looked down at Ethan.  "Go find Tara and Wes," he said.  "They should see this too."

"They were watching out the window and Tara was crying because it was so pretty," he told him.  Ethan looked up again.  "Anything new?"

"Some map coordinates.  Expect some Ministry and possibly some Military people coming in soon."  He smiled as Blair, Jim, and Simon came back.  "They're in the cave."  He pulled back inside and turned to look at Daniel.  "See, we're odd and fun," he noted.

"But very special, Xander.  I can't imagine that's normal with the way everyone reacted."

"No, but it's not so unusual.  Unicorns sleep wherever they want.  It's a law."  He went back to looking at the book.  "I'm still wondering if these aren't biologically based weapons of some sort."

"You can think of those things in front of a creature so pure?"

"It's part of the job description," Xander said dryly.  "I can't get near it.  I was a slut for nearly thirty years, so bad of one that most people still smile when they remember their time with me."

"Oh."  Daniel frowned. "Did you ever sleep with my parents?"

"Nah, I didn't like getting between married couples.  It got awkward the next morning when they tried to figure out if they should give me coffee or morning cuddles."  He heard Jim laughing and grinned. "They did," he called.

"Shh, you'll scare them," Ethan scolded.

Xander stuck his head back out the window.  "Ethan, we used to protect a whole herd.  I used to sleep in the bloody barn, man.  Give it up, they're used to me by now."  He went back to his studying.  "Okay."  He heard an angry neigh.  "Sorry, luv, I won't swear in front of you again," he called.  She calmed down and went back to her son.  "See?"  He picked up the book.  "I think I may have a solution.  Someone remarked we have a painting from back then, back when they were still considered an anomaly.  Come on.  Come meet the family."  He carried the book inside and into the picture gallery, waving at his family.  "Hey, gramps," he called, bringing his founding father back from his nap.  "Hey, can you translate stuff?"

"I probably could," he admitted.  "Why?"

Xander turned the book to face him, open to the page with the most unrecognized symbols on it.  "You see this page?" he asked, tapping a section.  "There isn't supposed to be crossover between the food and the weapons markings and yet we have one.  I figured you might know something since you were that old."

Xander's founding father chuckled.  "Always brash, I like that in you young ones."  He looked at Daniel.  "You're not one of us."

"No, sir, I'm not, but I do deal with this language.  We've recently gotten a stargate to work again."

"Are we being invaded again?" the old man demanded.  "I fought the buggers the last time and I'll bloody well come back again if I have to!" he said angrily.  "Even if I don't know where my body went when it was snatched!"

"We've managed to beat them back," Daniel admitted.  "But this book has places for us to look.  I'm going to convince my boss to look for the ones your kind lost so long ago as well. We figure they've got some knowledge that they might be willing to teach us or help us in the war."

"Become more open-minded, boy, it'll only help you."

"The problem is, they found someone's Ancient book on another planet," Xander offered.  "Plus, some of the Ancient's technology has been claimed by those things.  Hence us getting involved."

"Ah, now I see."  He looked at the marks again, adjusting his glasses.  "Well, the crossover ones were specialist knowledge," he admitted.  "They are weapons. They apparently weren't very useful."

"Yeah, but I'd rather we found them and disabled them instead of letting hapless muggles find them," Xander told him.

"Always impatient," the old man complained, looking just like Xander when he scowled.  "I'm getting to that."  He looked at the book again. "Bring it a bit closer.  It's fuzzy through the barrier."  Xander put the book closer.  "See this one, the carrot and weapon?  It was a small bomb sent in with the food.  It's how we fought them best.  We did things like poisoned their food or turned it into bombs.  That was Sevina Snape's favorite tactic.  Went pretty well too.  The Malfoy arse decided to attack in running attacks.  The Weasley kin did the same, taking the opposite side of the camp so he couldn't hurt his lover.  Oh, and here's a mention of a Dumbledore," he said dryly.  "The man wanted to sympathize with them.  True Hufflepuffs, all of them."  He looked at his many-times-removed grandson.  "You get on with him now?"

"No," Xander admitted.  "Not since that fight."  He looked down and found a marking. "What's that, gramps?"

"Hmm.  That was...."  He grinned suddenly.  "That was a power ritual, boy.  Sex magic.  Ancient as the land and just as powerful.  That Weasley, he was something else.  Even an old guy like me could see that.  Had that Malfoy brat wrapped around his finger."

"You mean we used to sleep with Weasleys?" Draco asked as he joined them.  "Xander, the Ministry is here to see you."

"In a minute.  Gramps knows what some of these are."  He looked at him.  "So it's the connotation about the food that's telling what it was?"  His father nodded.  "Thanks, gramps."  He blew a kiss.  "I'm sure they built you a nice shrine on whatever world you ended up on."

"I'd certainly hope so.  An old goat like me should have a comfortable resting place.  Draco, my boy, have you taught Xander what I showed you yet?"  Draco blushed and shook his head, running off.  "Poor thing, and shy to boot."  He looked at his relative.  "And you, when are you having more kids?"

"When Des asks for some sperm so she can implant it into someone else so I don't have to deal with kids.  I loathe children, gramps, and I always have.  She's working around it."

"Good for her.  She needs to do it for that young Harry too.  Poor boy's not only shy but confused.  Thinks that being you're fighting might win."

Xander grinned.  "He hasn't realized the power that's behind him yet, gramps.  Don't worry, we'll save him."  He led Daniel out, letting him take the book while he went to talk to the Minister and Percy Weasley, his assistant.  "Morning," he said cordially.  "We've got a momma unicorn and baby out back."  Percy smiled at that.  "My gramps just figured out what the symbols we've been having problems with were."

"Good," the Minister agreed.  "What about that muggle?"

"He's just headed back to the house.  He was in awe of the unicorn too."  He sat down and put his feet up.  "What's up?"

"We have some news from the war front that we need to share," Percy said quietly.  "Plus, we wanted to talk to the muggle personally about sending an auror back with him."

"We were talking about that earlier.  Come out to the workhouse," Xander ordered, standing up and leading the way.  "Methos, news," he called.  "You as well, Ethan."  He led the way up to the workroom, smiling at Daniel since he was on the phone with his boss to get an extension of his time off.  "Ask him to come over personally.  The Minister for Magic is here personally."  He nodded behind him.  "That's Percy, Ron's older brother, and the Minister."

Daniel put the phone on his shoulder to shake hands.  "Hello.  When would you like to set up a meeting?  I've got one of my coworkers on the line so I can beg for more time to work on the book.  We've nearly got it done."  Someone yelled on the other end so he put the phone back to his ear.  "Sorry, Jack, officials just showed up.  Yeah, that sort.  No, they want to make deals with Hammond.  I don't know."  He looked at Xander.  "When would be a good time for the meeting?"

"I'm fine with whenever," Xander offered.

"I'd rather have it in a more official setting," the Minister offered.  "In London perhaps?"

"We've only got the flat in London," Xander offered.  "You can use it though."

"Thank you, Mr. Dumass," Percy said gently.  He looked at the screen.  "What is this?"

"It's a computer," Xander said, moving over to show him.  "It's storing all the data we've uncovered so far.  See these, they're the things that were etched onto the paper underneath the letters.  That's what we've been working on.  Apparently the things we got stuck on were how they fought the creatures who came over.  They did neat things like turning carrots into bombs to kill them."  Percy smiled at that.  Xander paged down.  "These are some of the digs we've got to go on around this world and some on some other one.  Daniel's working on that right now.  I'm going to take the list to Gringotts later today and look them up in the books to see what was found."

"Excellent news," Percy said, smiling at him.  He smiled at his brother as he walked in as well.  "Good morning, Ron."

"Morning, Percy," he said amiably.  "What news?"

"We've decoded the final things," Daniel said as he hung up and moved away from the Minister.  "Xander's relative was a big help with that."

"Also, we've got some war news," the Minister offered.  "Thank you, Dr. Jackson."  He led Methos and Ron away to talk to them.  It would get back to Alex.  That way they could edit it for those with hair-trigger tempers.

Percy looked at Xander.  "Did you really slay sixteen demons the other day?"

"They stole my money!" he snorted.  "Seventy percent of my money was taken as a fee for holding and moving it."  Percy winced.  "Yeah, so I showed my displeasure on the creatures when they decided to attack me.  Why, am I in trouble again?"

"No, not in the least.  A complaint was issued but one of the goblins reported why you had done it.  Law Enforcement thought it was just as well.  I suppose the demons might mind, but they are demons."

"So's my mom.  She's in vengeance," Xander said proudly.  Percy chuckled and patted him on the back.  "I'll hear about it from her if something's going on with me.  Or maybe from Anya.  Did you guys really capture her?"  Percy nodded.

"Anya?" Daniel asked.

"His ex, a former demon who returned to being Vengeance for Women Scorned," Percy informed him.  "She's a bit peeved that she lost him."

"That's putting it mildly," Xander muttered.  "Anya's trying to fuck up m life again," he said quietly.  Percy hit him and he winced.  "Ow!"

"No swearing in front of the unicorns.  It's bad enough Ron probably has."

"Percy, I can't get near it and the window is closed.  Not even Jim could hear me."  Percy looked interested.  "Ask Sandburg."

"All right, I shall."  He nodded at the machines.  "Are those difficult to learn?"

"Eeeh, a bit," Daniel admitted. "This one's fairly fussy. We're working on a better design for field work.  Translations and the like.  That way people who don't know everything can do the work."

"That way one of us doesn't have to know each language we might run into," Xander told him.  "It's bad enough all curse breakers have to learn common words in over seventeen languages.  This would help that but I doubt most of us would use it."  He grinned at Daniel.  "You've got me sold though.  I still suck at ten of them."  Daniel nodded, grinning back. "Think about how much easier it would be on tomb walls to find a name and year. Even if it spit it out in word order instead of grammatically."

"That would be nice," Percy agreed, not understanding it but it was making Xander happy and Xander was a dangerous person he wanted to keep happy.  He was even teaching Ron to be like him.  He had no doubt that Ron would live on, just like Bill was going to.  "Have you seen Bill?"

"I did," Xander admitted.  "He managed his exam to be in time for our game against Gryffindor.  We chatted after it while he was patting Ron on the back about being knocked out again.  Which I'm really sorry for but it was quidditch," he said as Ron and Methos came back in.  "No lasting ringing in the ears?"

"Nah, I'm good, mate," Ron assured him with a grin.  "You're right, it's quidditch and that's all that needs to be said.  But you get to explain to Dawn why it was all right.  She still thinks it's a game, like Twister."

Xander snickered.  "She would.  To her, sports are something you play with friends, not to obsess about."  He looked at the Minister as he walked in.  "Come see the toy Daniel introduced us to.  It can translate things."

"That must be very handy," the Minister agreed. "How many languages do you have stored in there?"

"Sixteen full, including three pictographic, off-world languages," Daniel said proudly.  "Plus snippets and pieces of another thirty or so with the right disk in.  That's more to identify.  Other people are working on them."  The Minister looked impressed. "And it fits in a case that weighs about five pounds overall.  I can switch the harddrive out and put it into my laptop," he said, patting the scarred and faithful old thing.  "It's seen nearly as many worlds as I have."

The Minister spluttered.  "How?"

Daniel smiled.   "About the same way you have books that have over five hundred pages but are only an inch thick.  It's another form of storage media.  There are bigger ones on the market.  We decided this was the best one to carry because of the weight."

"The Vatican is using a similar system to put their books on computer," Philip admitted as he joined them.  "They've got four or five stations now with half of the main archive on already.  It's taken a while and some of the translations have been redone now and then.  Speaking of, I've been offered a chance to do that sort of thing and I can do it here," Philip said proudly.

"I'm happy for you," Xander said, giving him a hug.  It knocked the monitor a bit, making it fuzz up for a second but Daniel quickly fixed it.  "Sorry."

"That's all right," Daniel assured him.  "I left the line loose in case I wanted to shift it around while I worked."  He looked at Percy.  "You're very quiet for being Ron's relative."

Percy groaned and shook his head.  "Ron is the noisiest of us.  I was thinking about how this could change our society."

"While it could, there are too many purists out there, Percy," Xander assured him.  "Even if some of us used them for work, most of us wouldn't use them all the time.  Certainly most of us wouldn't become tech-heads like some muggles do.  And yeah, there'd be a few, but they'd have found out eventually.  Computers are everywhere in the muggle world.  You can't really escape them."

Daniel nodded.  "True.  Muggles are moving to put everything on computer, even voting if they can work out a secure system for it.  This is just a baby step."

The Minister still looked impressed.  He liked gadgets.  "How hard would it be to get these things to say, Hogwarts?"

"It runs on electricity and the school's natural defenses would kill the laptop," Xander told him.  The Minister sighed and shook his head.  "There are ways around it but you'd have to ask Percy's dad about them.  He knows people who specialize in things like that.  He's doing some work for them now and again when they've got special things in his area."

"The problem then becomes what to do with this knowledge," the Minister pointed out, bringing the discussion back on topic.  "We've got a knowledge-sharing pact with the other Ministries."

Blair coughed from the doorway.  "We were discussing that earlier.  We think that even if you send an auror over that stuff would still have to come back this way," he offered as he walked in to join the discussion. "Xander, you've managed to piss off the unicorn again.  Tone down your language, Cordy said so."  Xander sighed and nodded.  "Thanks."  He looked at the Minister again, seeing the mirth in his eyes.  "He was swearing up here and she heard."  He leaned on the table.  "We figured out that the easiest and best way would be to send things through the Canadians.  They've got great storage at the Ministry level if you don't want to go through Gringott's, plus they're affiliated with us in a parent/child relationship.  They would pass things back to us and we could announce it every few months or simply make it available for study once we figure to what things are.  It might make sense to offer some limited research positions from other Ministries, that way they wouldn't get upset either."

"Have the Canadians classify it, do the initial studying at the curse breaker level?" Percy asked.  Blair nodded and Xander backed him up by nodding as well.  "Would that be feasible?"

"Gringotts has a branch over there and at least one curse breaker I know of comes from there," Xander offered.  "Plus, the Americans could go to work for the Canadians, thereby not leaving them out of the loop as well."

"It could be the basis for a whole new level of cooperation among us," Philip noted.  "We've never been more than friendly before but it would make sense.  The British have stepped up before when things went wonky with other schools or else I wouldn't know Blair, Greg, and Nick."

"Also, we stepped in back in my time when that small private school went under," Xander reminded him.  "It was local but unaffiliated.  We got McGonagall from there."

The Minister considered it.  "We'd have to hold a summit.  I don't even know some of the other Ministers."

"Then you send out formal invitations and a press-kit," Percy told him.  "Ask them to send you one as well so we can make up a small brochure on who everyone is.  We've been too long acting on our own.  The cockiness Fudge showed pointed that out greatly.  He managed to drive apart some of our greater allies because of his attitude.  Not even the Carribean Council will talk to us now."

"True," the present Minister agreed.  "I had planned on retiring next year though."

"So retire," Xander said with a shrug.  He moved away from the computer before he could mess anything up.  "No one's going to care if you retire as long as you put someone reasonable in behind you."

"Someone who can continue this sort of thing," Blair agreed.  "Trust me, the world is getting closer each year.  With the advent of the internet and satellites people from all over are talking.  There's even computers in Africa in some of the classrooms so the kids can take classes happening in other countries."

"We probably should form a committee to look at such matters," Percy suggested gently.  "My father would be flummoxed but he knows it's necessary.  He found a witch with a rigged laptop the other week."

"Fine," the Minister agreed.  "I can agree to that.  I think we do need to look at this and see if it will impact us much."

Xander handed over his pen.  "The muggle answer to the quill's problems."

The Minister clicked it and looked at the nib.  "Where do you store the ink?"

"It's already inside," Blair said, opening it up for him.  "That blue stuff is the ink.  That way it won't drip unless it breaks."

"Oh."  He handed it carefully back.  "Are they common?"

"They're so common everyone uses one these days," Xander told him.  "No one uses fountain pens anymore unless it's for something formal."  The Minister looked upset at that news.  "I had the worst culture shock when I got stuck over there.  There were so many things that even I hadn't seen and I was considered pretty worldly," he shared.  "TV was just one of the things that shocked me.  Not to mention computers like these becoming standard.  Even little kids use computers these days."

"Plus, technology is moving pretty fast," Daniel told him.  "This is over a year old and the Military is already thinking about redesigning it.  Looking at the various technologies would mean that you wouldn't be overwhelmed when they started to intrude."  He looked at Xander.  "You guys still use quills?"

"At school.  It's mandatory," Philip admitted. "Things like that pen were normal when we went in, Minister.  They're under two pounds now unless you want something special."

Blair nodded.  "And cheaper if you go for an off-brand," he agreed.  "Computers are the same way.  My two-year-old laptop is nearly obsolete but it cost me nearly a thousand American dollars because it was new at the time but off-brand.  I can find the same machine now with all the upgrades and more storage for about nine hundred.  Less if there's a sale on shipping."

The Minister for Magic sighed and accepted the inevitable.  "Then we'll form the committee.  Percy, I want your father on it along with his coworker.  We might have to move them to a larger office."  He looked at Xander.  "Please, don't get pushy."

"I'd only use something like that in the tombs," Xander told him.  "I don't need a computer, I find it more soothing to write things out by hand.  I feel very divided some days, like I'm a time traveler with the wrong handbook."

The Minister smiled.  "I can understand that, Alex.  And that would be fine."  He looked up.  "Are those lights?"  Blair flicked on the switch and he nodded.  "Those are nice.  Very bright."  Blair turned them off so he looked at Xander again.  "Expensive?"

"To install, not really.  There's a monthly charge for usage of the electricity.  It's one of those 'you have a bad thing with every good thing' deals.  I thought it would be more worthwhile for the house to be wired, especially since this is going to become the work house.  The lights cost about as much as our former candle bill was monthly, leave no mess, but also cost us in the bulbs.  It's a bit more but much more convenient for us."

"I see.  Then we'll probably want to talk to you about that on the committee.  Percy, I want you to sit on it personally as well.  You're an old-school chap, like me, and I'd like to see how far things are going."  Percy nodded.  "Thank you, boys.  I'll be going back to London now to mourn for my beloved quill."

"No one says you have to give them up," Xander offered.  "Changing over should be by want, not by force.  I'd rather see you make rules to introduce things slowly.  Start with the useful things.  Gas stoves so you don't have to deal with firewood.  The Americans have these people called the Amish."

"Oh!  They don't use anything created after 1900 unless it's an update," Blair said excitedly.  "I can definitely find some things on their level.  It would be an excellent place to start.  Start with a few trial homes."

"We'll not be one of them," Molly said from the stairs.  "We've got enough gadgets laying around the house."

"Even if you could have an oven that kept the same temperature without you having to fuss?" Philip asked.

"That might be handy, but I'm too set in my ways for all that nonsense," she told him.  "Percy, don't tell your father yet, make the official announcement or he'll be floating like he took a featherlight potion."  Percy nodded and smiled at that.  "Xander, please don't swear in front of the dear thing."

"I haven't sworn in a few minutes," he defended.  "I'm trying very hard to keep my language clean.   I haven't used any of the harder ones recently."

"That's fine, don't upset her.  Her son is a bit ill.  His horn shed."  Xander shuddered.  "I know, but your aunt called a healer already."  She gave him a pat on the arm. "What's all this mess?" she asked, looking at the computer.

"It's a computer.  It translates and stores stuff," Xander told her.  "Things like the book."

"Hmm.  Interesting."  She looked at the Minister and her son.  "Come along.  Arthur just called, he's home for lunch.  You can speak with him then.  He might know something about this stuff."   She shooed them off with her, taking them home for a decent meal.  That way she could coddle Percy without him fussing at her for it.

"My mom is incredible," Ron noted from his corner of the room.  "She treats everyone like one of us."  Xander grinned at him.  "She even soaped Simon's mouth when he swore in awe," he shared.  Xander and Philip both chuckled at that.  "C'mon, we've got to have a meeting about the fighting."  He led the way back to the main house, where they could swear if they wanted to.  She couldn't hear them in there.

Daniel settled down to look at Blair.  "You guys really use real quills?  Like feathers?"

Blair nodded.  "It's mandatory at the school.  They're a pain but it's fairly handy.  I used to sneak in the older version of fountain pens and got into a lot of trouble for it."  He sat down to take his turn with the translations.  They were working in shifts so they didn't argue and couldn't get in each other's way.

***

Xander and Ron trudged back into the school, they were the last ones back because they had been doing some minor shopping for the group.  Dawn had their papers with her and her dog, while they had a number of bags, all marked.  Xander whistled, bringing his cousin up the hallway to meet them.  "Good, half of these are yours.  We got asked to deliver."

"We should charge a fee, but we're feeling happy because we got sundaes for lunch," Ron added for good measure.  He sat down on the floor, divvying up the bags.  "Those are yours.  So's this one," he said, handing over the small brown paper bag.  "Xan, did you have the other?"

"It's inside the bag with the holiday robes," Xander told him, leaning against the wall.  "Most of mine is school stuff.  I can't stand real quills, they're making my hands itch."

Severus looked at him.  "You will have to use a quill, Alex.  It is mandatory."

Xander pulled out a fountain pen with a quill end.  "Like it?"  He showed it off.  "The wood won't irritate my fingers.  I even have a note from a healer.  I've held them so hard they're splintering into my skin."  He looked over as Dumbledore walked down the hall.  "Paper supplies for you as well," he said, handing over his note and that bag.  He had put it inside the bag earlier for ease of handing out.

"Those are nice," Dumbledore said, admiring the pen.  "Expensive?"

"Not really.  They even had some unfinished ones so you could have whatever finish you wanted on them.  No worse than a box of quills for two pens.  These'll last until you break the tips though and you can replace the tips.  My note's in the bag."

"Thank you, Alex.  I heard from your healer personally.  You aren't the first who's had to substitute pens."  He looked at the other ones.  "Madam Malkins?"

"Dawn's holiday robe, Draco's holiday robe, my holiday robe, Harry and Ron's new school robes because they've grown too much and their holiday robes," Xander said dryly.  "Dawn had our papers."

"She's up in the tower."

Ron groaned.  "It's the Hufflepuff nature to forget homework," he reminded Xander. "I'll remind her when I drop off the bags so you can pounce the git."

"Ron!" Xander said, frowning at him.

"What?  It's still at the playful level between us.  It's not like he ducked out of work or anything."

"Yeah, but he had a test today," Xander reminded him.

"That is an excellent point.  Professor McGonagall says you all have tests tomorrow," Snape informed them.  The students groaned.  "You had best go study.  Weasley, I do not have Potter's or Malfoy-Dumass' paper yet.  Tell Miss Summers that."

"Sure thing," he agreed, heading that way with the remains of the bags.  Xander opened the door and they walked inside, finding Draco on the couch with a wet cloth over his eyes and Dawn fussing.  "What happened now?"

"Someone shot a hex at him and it gave him a blinding headache," Dawn said quietly.  "So Goyle smashed the kid and tried to help poor Draco but he screamed in pain.  Madam Pomfrey's on her way down since he got sick when we walked inside from the smell."

"Classic migraine," Xander noted.  He handed over Dawn's package, then nodded Ron to put everything else upstairs.  "Dawn, homework?" he asked as he knelt to take care of his consort.  "Hi, love," he whispered.  Draco reached over and patted him on the face, then gave him a little push.  "Want me to get Sev too?"  Draco shook his head.  "All right, I'll be reading over here, we'll watch over you.  Who did it?"

"Pansy," Draco sighed, lifting up the cloth to look at him.  "Go away.  Please?"

Xander nodded and left him alone, going to grab his Transfiguration book.  He was learning things from Minerva like he hadn't Dumbledore.   He wanted to impress her with the fact that he was learning.  So he would actually try on her test tomorrow.  He had more free time since he had all the Charms down for the year, he was tutoring in it mostly.   Runes was all done for the year with the paper from the book.  Herbology was not on his schedule because he killed plants.  Magical Creatures was more a suggestion in his mind, he went whenever he remembered her had it or when Draco reminded him he had it.  He didn't have Potions and Astronomy was done after they retired for the night.  All-in-all he had a pretty easy life this year.  The door opened and the Runes teacher walked in waving his paper.  "It's done," he noted quietly, going back to his watching his mate.

"What do you call this?  It is not the appropriate translations at all!" she said angrily.

"Shh!" Xander ordered.  "Draco has a migraine!"

"I do not care!  This is not suitable for my class, Mr. Dumass!  You may think you know more than I do but I know you do not!  I have studied this language for many years!"  Draco moaned on the couch.  "You missed class today as well."

"He has a backlash migraine and you can either moderate your language or leave," Xander said hotly.  "I won't have you harming my mate with your screechy voice!"  He stood up and faced her down, she was a bit smaller than him, only came up to his neck.  "That is the approved translation, as approved by not only Gringott's but by the Minister, who also doesn't like Budge and his funny meanings.  The man got it wrong," he argued quietly, yet still managing to get some ice in his voice.  "That is also the language that is being used in other places.  If you don't like it, yay.  I *used* the language for years instead of studying it.  Not only can I translate technical manuals, I make things work with them.  Yours has a totally wrong meaning and it shows!  Now, you can either wait until a more appropriate time, one in which my consort is not ill, or you can take this up with the Headmaster and screech at him."

"Fine," she said, glaring at him.  "I will prove I'm right."

"Go for it. We've got copies of the original upstairs for Madam Pince.  You can check it out from her later today."  She flounced out, managing to slam the portrait.  "I'm sorry, Draco."

"Your voice was still quiet.  Hers was like a saw through my brain," he admitted.  "Sit quietly and stare if you want."  He lifted the cloth as the door opened, admitting the school nurse.  "Tell me you have something to make this better," he begged.

"I have something to make you nap," she told him.  "Only time can really cure those."  She gave him the potion, making him fall into a deep sleep, then she looked at Xander.  "Did you yell at her?"

"No, she yelled at me and I told her the truth, Budge is crap," Xander said firmly.  "Budge totally got his translations wrong.  He confuses the main markings and says that food and clothing are in the same one.  He's even gotten food and animals mixed up, Madam Pomfrey.  I can't sit by while she teaches the students wrong.  The same as you couldn't let some quack teach students the wrong way to heal bodies.  This was my life's work, it still is."

She nodded.  "I was simply asking, Xander, calm yourself."  She gave him a kiss on the cheek.  "I do like her as a friend but I know she's got some blind spots and Budge is one of them.  She's yelled about you often."  She smiled and looked back at Draco.  "Keep him napping.  You might also want to move him upstairs and close the curtains.  Lunch would be a bit much for him."  Xander nodded.  "Do you know about migraines?"

"Wills got some a few times from the magic and I've had one of those in the past," he admitted.  "Do you think Midnight would be guardian enough?"

"He should be. Your consort won't be moving for a good few hours.  Have someone check on him every little bit while you're in class."  He nodded so she left.

Xander picked up Draco and put him up in their bed, making sure the room was dark.  Then he cast a tell-tale on Draco, attaching it to a dot he put on his hand.  It was pink, meaning sleeping, so that was fine.  He went back down the stairs, going back to his studying.   He checked the dot obsessively. It was his consort and nothing should harm him.

***

Dumbledore walked into Hufflepuff a few hours later, finding Xander asleep in the chair.  He noticed the dot was a dark blue and went up to check on Draco himself.  "How are you?" he asked quietly.

"I can't fall back asleep," he whispered.  "I still hurt."

"I understand, my boy.  Let me call Poppy back down for you."

"Where's Xander?"

"He's asleep in the chair.  I'll send him up to rest with you."

"I don't think I could stand it," Draco admitted.  "Have him sleep on the couch.  He gets a terrible crick in his neck."

"Of course," Dumbledore agreed, leaving him alone for now.  He walked down the stairs and rang the house elf bell, waking Xander.

"No, Draco!" Xander shouted, flailing until he fell out of the chair and woke himself up.  "No, he can't be dead," he said, starting that way.

"I just checked on him, he's fine," Dumbledore soothed, stopping him from rushing up the stairs.  Xander got free and headed up anyway, making Draco moan.  "Boys."  Xander came back down the stairs, giving him a sheepish look.  "It is common to have nightmares about things happening to those you love."  A house elf appeared.  "Would you please send Poppy back down with another sleeping draught for Draco?  He's woken up already."  The house elf nodded and disappeared, going to do that for him.  Dumbledore pointed at the couch.  "Sit, let's discuss this Runes problem, Alexander.  Besides, it will be much more comfortable when you fall asleep again."  He sat down himself, looking at the poor thing.  "What is your major problem with her?"

"That she's not teaching the language," Xander told him.  "Budge got so many things wrong it's not funny."

"Yet, the NEWTs will have Budge on them.  The examiner was most fond of him in his day."

"Be that as it may, she's teaching the students crap.  She's even teaching Budge wrong.  She's teaching so much of it wrong, I'm running a second class for my crew anyway so they know and understand.  Thinial has very strict language laws.  Their grammar laws are so strict that if you see something out of the ordinary you should consider it a fake from Budge himself unless you can date it some other way."  Dumbledore nodded.  "Take the book we just got done with for instance."

"She handed me your paper.  It made sense."

"Thanks.  There were some things in there that should not have existed together.  Each word has a marking that distinguishes it in a category for usage.  Food, weapon, clothing, wood, beast, and so on."  Dumbledore nodded.  "They *never* cross over.  In the book they did because someone had turned the food into weapons.  That's why we needed those extra days, because it's not supposed to be that way.  According to Budge, the marking that had carrots being a weapon should have been a shirt that was part deer."  Dumbledore chuckled at that.  "According to the teacher, she had Budge saying it was a pair of pants made from living cows and pigs."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "So you're correcting them?"

"I've given up.  Like I said, I'm running a second class for my crew.  I don't know it all, but I know enough of the common language to translate tech manuals and get things to work."  Xander shifted closer.  "Even Philip could do a better job, Dumbledore.  He didn't know that much Thinial and yet he pulled his own weight in the translation and looked up things with the rest of us.  Even Ron did better than she did."

"I understand."  He sighed but he was smiling.  "She has threatened to quit on us, Alexander.  Even if I remove you from her class."

"Can you remove me, Draco, Ron, and Harry from her class and keep Dawn from it?"  Dumbledore nodded.  "Then what are you going to do about her making her students flunk their NEWTs?"

"I'm going to call the examiner.  I'm going to have him sit in on her class.  I told her such when I heard what your problems were with her from Poppy.   If she's teaching wrong, then we may not be able to use her any longer.  She was the only one who knows multiple languages however.  She was not extremely fluent in any of them but she knew enough to teach them."

"Then get Philip back here.  He knows seventeen enough to translate fluently and he has taught kids before."

"Seventeen, really?" he asked.

Xander nodded.  "Mostly Church languages but he's the best in Celtic, even acknowledged by the Runes teacher.  What happened to the last one anyway?"

"He's on sabbatical to study on a site.  Field work is important to him."

"It is to me too.  Can I take her to where I was in Iran and have her get eaten when she mistranslates what's in that crypt?"

Dumbledore chuckled.  "No, I don't think that would be appropriate.  I believe she might get hurt by that."  He patted him on the knee.  "I know this is frustrating for you.  You still have to let her teach if she meets the examination board's standards."

"But she won't," Xander told him.

"I'm having that looked into."  He stood up.  "I'll have your students take you instead of her, at the same time.  Can you teach it in your meeting room?"  Xander nodded.  "That's fine then.  Thank you, Xander."  He left him there, going to check on Poppy since she hadn't shown up yet.  "Dear, what happened," he said, frowning at the students.

"One of the Ravenclaws got a bit out of hand in class," Pomfrey said, grimacing at a few beds.  "She attacked Miss Lovegood, who got stood up for by Miss Weasley and most of the Hufflepuffs, and also a few more of her own house.  Yelled something about being a tainted and unnatural creature I believe."  She looked at him.  "I really can't give the poor thing another dose, he might quit breathing."

"Then I'll have Xander bring him back up here and put him in isolation."

"That ward smells worse.  It's the antiseptic smell that's bothering him."  She went to help one girl who was regrowing a broken arm.  "There, there, it'll be fine soon," she promised Ginny.   "They threw around desks and things as well.  Professor Flitwick had to be quite stern with them."

"As he should be," Ginny told her, sounding a touch bitter.  "Can I have a few days off?"

"Of course, dear.  Did you want Xander to teach you as well?" Poppy asked.  Ginny sighed and shook her head.  "Then how about you ask him to let you look at the unicorn?  They have one on their property shielding her colt, who's shedding his horn badly."

"That wouldn't be so bad," she agreed.  "And I'm still pure so I wouldn't have much trouble."  She looked at the headmaster who nodded.  "Thanks, sir.  I promise to put it to good use."  She shifted until she was comfortable again.  "Not like blokes like me anyway," she noted.

"I know, dear."  Poppy went to help Luna, who was slowly changing back from the transfiguration her yearmate had done to her.  "You'll start to feel sick soon," she warned.  "Try to get rid of it instead of breathing it in," she instructed.  She moved to take care of the girl in the next bed.  "This was simply horrible."

"I'll have the perpetrator in my office as soon as you release them," he told her, going back to tell Xander what was going on.  He wasn't pleased but he did admit he wanted to see his mate living.  Ginny was given a free pass back to his house as well and sent on her way while the headmaster watched, then he went to deal with the idiot student.

***

Philip looked up as the Headmaster came out of the floo, smiling at him.  "Morning, Headmaster, problems?"

"Alex has suggested I talk to you, Philip," he said as he sat across from him.  He handed over the current book, making the man snort.  "In there are the notes for this year's class.  I know you learned some Budge in your years.  I need a second opinion.  The Examiner said that she was mucking up badly."

Philip looked at the notes and groaned.  "She is," he agreed, handing it back.  "How Budge could get his own language wrong I don't know but he contradicts himself in this one he made up to tie the Ancients together.  See this mark?" he asked, pointing at it.  "This also means food source.  Not just dragon.  It's not even changing via the context, it just changes whenever he wants."

"I see.  And the teacher's contribution?"

Philip looked the notes over, shaking his head.  "She's mucked him up farther, trying to fix it."  He looked up and a tied scroll was handed over.  "What's that?"

"This year's language curriculum.  I know you only deal with a few of them, but I wanted to know if you knew of anyone who might be able to do the job as well as you would.  I know you've turned me down in the past."

"I was a priest then," Philip reminded him.  He looked them over.  "I can teach all but Thinial.  I only know enough to translate from the books and to break up the sentences."  He looked up.  "That's the base method but it's all I can do."

"Yes, well, we do have Mr. Dumass there.  It seems he and the teacher had quite a shouting match in the halls yesterday.  She accosted him over your translation and told him that the introduction was not real.  That no Thinial work had such a thing."  Philip snorted.  "So he responded about where he had personally seen them and she stomped off, leaving a note of resignation on her desk."

Philip laughed.  "I understand.  He can be a bit trying on the nerves now and then.  I love the guy, but he's very hyper about protecting what's his and what he knows. "

"He always was," Dumbledore agreed dryly.  "That's why he duels so very well."  Philip's laughing turned into giggling.  "Would you come and fill in for the rest of this year?  Our usual teacher is off doing field work.  If you consent, I could give you a nice room in the castle.  I could also give you a nice paycheck.  You only have to get past the Examiner's questioning first."

Philip nodded.  "I can fill in for a bit."

"Thank you, Philip.  I believe you've saved my sanity," he admitted as he stood up.  "You will have to teach some Budge."

"I can teach both at the same time, the same way Alex is.  I'm the one who worked out the charts for him to use to teach."

"Good.  Excellent in fact."  He smiled.  "I've made an appointment with the Examiner for this afternoon at three.  Please?"

Philip checked the clock.  That gave him nearly an hour to get ready.  "Sure.  Why not.  I've not got much to do outside of going over Alex's old books."

"He wrote books?"

"On curse breaking," Philip told him, shaking his hand.  "I'll give you the results later."

"Thank you, my boy.  You have saved us from Alex teaching it."  Philip snickered and Dumbledore nodded.  "He has no patience.  Even worse than Severus I'm afraid."  He went back through the floo.

Philip went up to shower and change, laying out his materials to take with him.  He was missing one of the charts, but a house elf found it for him.  They had been studying it when there wasn't any work to do.

***

The Examiner for the OWLs and NEWTs looked Philip over, nodding at his written resume.  "Very impressive."  He looked him over again.  "I know you attended Hogwarts."  Philip nodded.  "How many of these have you worked with in the past?"

"Not only did I do on-the-fly translations for the Legacy, I also did a lot of the translating for the Church and taught Modern Languages for some schools of theirs as well."  The Examiner looked impressed.  "Most of what I've done since I graduated has been in Aramaic, Hebrew, and Latin, but I've also learned more since I graduated.  The only weak spot I have in the current curriculum is Thinial and I'm at the base level appropriate to work with that."

"And how do you intend to compensate for the difference between Budge and the Gringott's meanings?"

Philip pulled out his charts.  "I worked these out with a curse breaker for his apprentices."

"Yes, I had heard Mr. Dumass was back in Hogwarts.  Very unorthodox."

"He's protecting them and coddling his consort," Philip said with a touch of a smile.  "As you can see, I've put both in the chart.  He's been teaching his apprentices this way and they seem to pick it up readily enough.  He gives them practicals from the dig archives to test them."

"Interesting."  The Examiner looked Philip over again.  "Do you think you could handle teaching at Hogwarts?  Teaching muggles is a bit different."

"It is, but I also taught the littlest hellions at Catholic schools," Philip said dryly.  The Examiner laughed at that.  "Some of them are.  A few were boarding schools and I do know how the system at Hogwarts works.  Besides, if I get stuck, I have references and Mr. Dumass there.  He knows enough Budge to counter it since the Headmaster said you include mostly that on the exams."

"I wouldn't like to switch it for this year alone."

"Then I can teach both," Philip offered.  "It is the seventh years and they should be able to wrap their minds around the fact that there are two different systems and that one is accepted by some and not others."

"Good point.  I grade the Runes portions myself so I can make the distinction of those who are using the not-Budge when the test does not state a style of translation."  He nodded.  "I will accept you."

"Thank you.  I know the Headmaster has his heart set on his usual coming back but he was in a sweat about this.  The teacher had a shouting match in the halls with Mr. Dumass about our translation.  Something about the introduction not being there in Thinial."  The Examiner winced.  "Exactly.  Xander quoted chapter and verse on it, plus gave references from other things he's seen.  I may laugh at Budge, but I can teach it since it is so prevalent."

"Thank you, Professor Callahan.  We accept Headmaster Dumbledore's choice.  Have fun at your greeting feast tonight."  He shook his hand.  "May I keep the charts?"

"I can get another copy off Alex," he promised, handing the set over.  "They're a bit out of order.  The house elves have been browsing them."  The Examiner gave him a look.  "Alex said it was fine since he's done so much with it in the past.  That way they know what not to touch."

"Agreeable.  With what he does it would be better if they didn't touch certain things."  Philip stood and shook his hand again before leaving.  The man rang for his house elf.  "Bring me my medicine," he requested quietly.   The house elf nodded and left to retrieve it for him.  "An interesting case," he noted, reading over the notes.

***

Draco looked up as the Rune's classroom door opened, nudging Ron to make him wake up.  Then he nodded at their new teacher.

"Good afternoon," Philip greeted.  "I am Philip Callahan and I'm your substitute Runes teacher.  I do things a bit differently so let's work on that for the moment."  He put down his bag and picked up the chalk, writing his name on the board, then he turned around.  "First of all, I believe everyone is equal, no matter what house and no matter who you are," he said, looking at Ron and Draco.  "I will not tolerate slackers or excuses.  That means you have two missing people?"

"They're in the infirmary," Hermione told him.  "Someone attacked Harry and Xander had to give permission to have him treated.  They had to remove a third ear from his forehead," she added when he looked at her.

"Thank you, Miss Granger.  I appreciate that.  In the future, please raise your hand."  She nodded, accepting that.  "I teach in the old style, the same way Professor Snape does, only without the favoritism.  I believe Slytherins are like everyone else, capable of learning if they put their minds to it.  In here, I will have you working.  I will also have you writing papers.  You are seventh years, you should be able to do that."  He looked at Draco and Ron.  "See me after class about that agreement you made with the other."  They nodded.  "Thank you.  The next point I wish to make is that I'm teaching you *both* versions of Thinial.   I'll be doing so by means of a chart.  On one side you'll have Budge and on the other you'll have the Gringott's and field translations that some of you have learned from Mr. Dumass.  The Budge is more widely used on the exams but there are places for the other and I have talked with the NEWT Examiner.  He knows that I'll be teaching both."  The class slumped.  "I also have no problem if you need help understanding.  First, let me give you a copy of my notes."  He pulled out the copies he had made onto regular parchment and bound together with ribbons.  "To get you caught up and a complete copy of the charts.   I will not only be teaching you what I know of this language, but also the basic laws underlying it and how to translate properly if you're ever in a situation where you'll need to.  Any questions so far?"

One Slytherin raised her hand.  "What about those of us who are confused already, Professor?  Mr. Dumass managed to confuse some of us greatly."

Philip smiled.  "That's because there's two different schools of interpretation.  The Gringott's method, used in the field by the curse breakers.  They started it first and have done more work on the language.  The second is the Budge method.  Budge, for anyone who knows the first method, messed things up.  Unfortunately he was more photogenic and made things simple for those who were really confused by how the Goblins conjugated and things of that nature.  The only problem is that he decided Thinial was actually another form of Egyptian and took off from there without looking at the foundations or the grammatical structure of the languages.  They are two totally different languages and no one with much sense could force the two together because they are so different.  It'd be like a Weasley with black hair."  The group laughed at that.  "So he made up his own language to put between them, which in turned mucked up his translations even more.  If you read early Budge instead of late Budge you find that he's changed his mind over time about what each thing means as his own personal language evolved, even within in that changed.  There are still some muggles who believe Budge is right about Egyptian as well but we know he's not because we have directly translated documents from them instead of just the Rosetta stone.  The only reason Budge is on the NEWTs is because he's popular."  She nodded.  "We'll be backtracking a bit so I can give you the full chart.  It should help some.  If not, come see me and I'll gladly help you or any student."

A girl in the back row sighed.  "He's so noble," she told her best friend.  "So very cute."

"He just undid his vows to the Church.  He's been celibate for years."

Philip looked back at them.  "I'm the same age your parents are," he told them, breaking all romantic notions.  He didn't want to have to deal with panting girls.  He might have to get mean about it. He needed a real woman, not a girl.  He looked at Hermione and saw the same look on her face and swallowed.  "Oh, dear," he muttered.  "That's not good.  She looks like she's about to go off too."  Wouldn't anyone save him from those girls?

The Magic Does Not Lie.

Ginny was led out to where the unicorn was, her arm still in a sling but she was feeling much better now.  She smiled and boldly stepped closer.  "Good morning, precious one.  I'm Ginny and I'll be feeding you for the next few days.  Wanna sniff?"  She held out her good hand and the mother carefully sniffed her.  "I know, the bad man possessed me for a bit but they cleaned that off me.  I'm about as pure as you'll be getting around here."  The mother nodded and backed away from her son.  Ginny knelt on the floor, looking at the little colt.  "Hello.  How are you feeling?" she asked as she touched the end on his nose.  "He's warm," she reported.  "Open wide, let me look at your tongue," she ordered firmly, yet a lot like her mother would.  The unicorn opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue, making her laugh.  "Oh, you are precious," she assured him, looking at it.  "His tongue's still a bit blue but it's mostly white.  I think he needs some more water."  She gave him a gentle stroke down the mane then stood up and held a hand out for the mother.  "Want one as well?  You're very soft and look like you could use a good brushing."  She neighed and stepped closer, letting Ginny pat her on the side.  "Can I get a brush for her and the little one?" she called.

"Of course.  Let me dig them up.  We've just found the supplies down in the moat," Aunt Cordy noted, heading down to get them.  She brought them back.  "Here you are, a brush and a curry comb made of pure silver for them."  She handed them inside then went to get some more water for the dears.  Poor things.

Ginny picked up the curry comb.  "This first to get the loose hair off?"  The mother neighed so she started to work the brush.  "You'll have to tell me if I'm doing it right or not.  I've never gotten to groom even a horse in the past but I got told how to groom you by Hagrid.  He's a big sweetie as well.  Half-giant and very nice to the beasties we keep up there.  We have a stallion up at the school right now, he's a bit of a surly rump at that."  The mother shook her head.  "I know, he's a male, they're all like that sometimes."  The mother looked her in the eye.  "I know girls can be as well, I don't like girls though so I don't pay that much attention to them."  She grinned and winked.  "I've noticed you like Tara.  Should I have her sent for?  They're living further down the farm."  The mother nodded her head again.  "Sure enough.  As soon as Cordy comes back."  She got on with her cleaning of the coat.  It was extremely soft.  The shed hair went into a small pile for the house's storage, they had things they could do with it.  She moved onto the brushing, making the coat shiny and nice again, before moving onto the colt's coat.  "Here you are," she crooned.  "Getting some of the extra hair off will make you feel better.  I promise."  Cordy came back with the water, shoving in the big silver pail.  "Can you get Tara?"

"I'm not sure she could get near them either.  She does like girls in that way, Ginny."

"I know but the mother seems to like Tara."  The mother unicorn clicked.  "See?"

"Of course I will," Cordy agreed.  "I'll send a house elf down for her.  Maybe he'll take Ethan back as well.  He's been lurking in the garden to catch sight of them again."

"I'm betting Ethan's never seen anything so pure in his life," Ginny offered.  "He's a Chaos person, Auntie Cordy, it's probably not part of their book of ethics."

"Good point.  I'll set him up a spot out of the way so she can come out at night and tie up that blated Devil's Snare so it won't get too close."  She hurried off to do that.

Ginny pulled the water closer so the colt could drink while she brushed him.  "There we are," she announced.  "All clean."  She looked at the mare.  "Feel like some oats?  I know it's horse food but they haven't been able to find any unicorn chow yet."  The mare nodded her head.  "Okay then, I'll go prepare some with my own hands, that way it's not house elf tainted.  Cordy said that might bother you."  She gathered the hair up and put them into her apron pocket, leaving the brush and curry comb on a shelf before leaving.  She skipped up to the house, extremely pleased with herself.  Wait until Charlie heard about this!  She handed over the hairs.  "Will it matter that it was in my pocket or on the ground?"

"No, dear, the ground was blessed," Des assured her.  "We can't use it for all purposes but for most of them it will be fine.  What did you need to do now?"

"Make them some food.  They're hungry."  Des showed her to the small stove in the corner and the supply closet for their mash.  "Thank you.  Can I floo my mom and big brother later?"

"Of course, dear.  Why don't you floo them now?  I'm sure they can wait five minutes and you'll probably want to pet that little scamp.  He was taunting the Devil's Snare last night you know."

"No, I hadn't.  That is pretty cool," Ginny admitted.  She went to call her mom.  "Hi, mom."  Her mother beamed at her.  "I'm here at Dumass Glen."  Her mother gave her a look so she held up her sling.  "Someone attacked Luna.  I broke my arm and they've got a unicorn in need here.  Since I'm about the only pure one in the family I volunteered to come help.  Luna's bringing me all my homework."

"That's fine, Ginny.  As long as you keep up and you didn't escape from the school."

"No, mum, the Headmaster sent me through with Alex," she promised.  "The little guy's got a shedding horn."

"Oh, you've got a baby?"

"And his mother," Des said as she came over.  "She's very good.  She's already brushed and watered them.  They seem to like her quite a lot."

Molly beamed.  "I'm so happy for you, Ginny.  That's very good work.  Let me know how you are each day, all right?"  Ginny nodded.  "Good girl.  Should I call Charlie?"

"I was going to, mum, but that's fine.  I suppose he'd be working?"  Her mother nodded.  "That's fine, I'll call him tonight.  I've got to make a mash for them right now.  Bye."  She waved and cut the connection.  "Honestly, does she think I'd escape the school and go somewhere she likes to visit?  That's a dumb Ron thing to do, not a smart girl thing," she said as she went back to her stove.

Des laughed.  "Mothers are all like that.  I asked my own children that same question when they called up to chat."

"I suppose, but it's still irritating.  I learned how to be crafty by watching all my brothers get into trouble."  Des burst out in giggles.  "What?  I did," she offered, looking hurt.  Des pointed outside.  So Ginny went up on tiptoes to look.  "Oh, dear."  Ethan was outside.  The baby unicorn had just kicked him and was now nuzzling his stomach.  "Does that mean Ethan's purer now or is the baby tainted?"

"The baby's tainted but Ethan's got the most adorable look on his face.  Hurry and get me the camera.  Alex will love this one."  A house elf rushed off to get it, bringing it back.  "Thank you."  She took a few through the window then went to the door.  "Ethan," she called.  He gave her a shocked look and she snapped that one as well.  "You'll be fine, just don't let him jump you."  She handed the camera off to Ginny then helped her learn how to prepare their special unicorn mush.

***

Luna came out of the floo and looked around, then nodded.  The room was being repainted a nice color.  Alex was losing his den apparently.  She smiled at the house elf.  "Where is Ginny?" she asked.

"Ginny outside with baby.  Baby sick," it said sadly.  "Liked monster man."  She went back to adding the light blue paint.

"Thank you."  Luna headed outside, giving Ginny her backpack.  "Yours.  Only two assignments and McGonagall was nice enough to give you some ahead.  Hagrid said to write a paper.  Sprout said to work with the Devil's Snare and the other plants."  She grinned.  "Flitwick said he wasn't sure what we were doing next week now that the brat destroyed his classroom but he'd figure something out and you could make it up."  She plopped down and looked at the baby unicorn.  "I'd pat you but I'd probably hurt you."

"Oh, I don't know, he pounced Ethan earlier," Ginny said, putting her bag aside.  "Didn't you, Homer?"

"You've named him?" Luna asked.

"I couldn't call him 'hey you'.  He's too important of a magical beast to do that too," Ginny reminded her.  "So he's Homer and his mother is Lily.  Harry won't mind in the least that I named it after his mum."  She stroked down the velvety nose, making the baby sneeze.  "I'm colt-sitting so his mother could go down to the lake by herself for a bit.  Then I've got to call Charlie and brag to him."

"We've got a fire pit out here," Des said from the doorway.  "You can use it.  We don't allow them in the house, haven't since Xander's older sister Katya used to bring in the one she was bottle raising."  She grinned at the shocked look Luna had.  "They do have some rejection but that one's mother died saving her.  Ethan and Wesley are down at their cottage waiting on you, dear.  How long did you have?"

Luna grinned.  "I was told to be back by breakfast.  Professor Flitwick is very understanding.  Being changed into a human-sized flobber worm is upsetting."  She stood up and dusted herself off.  "Later, Homer.  Have fun monopolizing Ginny.  She's a great friend."  She winked at her friend and jogged off, heading down to the small cottage Ethan and Tara had built using a fairly odd building spell.  She walked in, startling Tara.  "Hi. Not up playing with the unicorns?"

"I frolicked in the fields earlier," Tara admitted with a grin.  "Ethan's upstairs thinking.  Wesley's locked himself in the kitchen to cook something."

"Cool beans," Luna agreed, heading up to help her honey think.  She was very good at it.  She tapped lightly on the door, seeing Ethan jump a bit before smiling at her.  "You really didn't taint the colt.  Shedding horns is a common sign of tainting.  As is the fever.  He was probably bitten by a wolf."  She walked over and gave him a light kiss.  "Feel better?"  He nodded, holding her closely.  "I need you to give me mean ideas, Ethan.  Some brat turned me into a flobber worm.  I nearly got stepped on in the ruckus."  He chuckled and stroked her back. "Yes, I need those sort of ideas," she grinned, looking down at her meal to come.  "You always give me the best ideas when we go off together," she reminded him, sliding around him to tease the back of him.  He shivered, starting to sweat.  "Ethan, are you scared of me?" she teased.

"I'm very scared for you, Luna," he admitted.  "You make me think bad things.  I've had some absolutely horrid thoughts recently."

"Any you care to share?" she asked as she leaned against his back, her breasts brushing the back of his neck.

"No," he admitted, looking down at himself.  "I'm old, Luna."

"Nonsense.  We live longer."

"No, you live longer.  My life expectancy is about up."  He looked up at her as she walked back around him to sit on his lap.  "Chaos wants the young and the firm."

"You're very young and firm," she reminded him.  "Besides, if Janus turns away from you then I'll take you."  She gave him a light kiss.  "Just because most of you panic at the first sight of a gray hair and suddenly become stupid doesn't mean you will.  You don't have to panic or plan on going out with a bang.  At least not unless you want to set off some fireworks while we go at it.  I've read your star chart in the approved manner and found that you will die during sex, probably with me."  He smiled at that.  "So let's get on with shortening your life span," she offered.

He laughed.  "That is an original line," he said, giving her a light kiss.  "What will you do if I'm right?"

"Keep Wesley on a shorter leash and put up a shrine to your memory so you can come back to me once you switch over to a demonic status.  I know you're smart enough to want that."  He nodded, leaning in to kiss her.  "See, I do have brilliant ideas when I'm around you."  She wiggled, straddling his lap so she could get more kisses.  "Now I know why Dawn calls our uniforms Hookers on Parade."  He laughed, hugging her tightly.  "I feel very naughty at the moment.  Not only am I young and pretty, you're older and much more mature.  Now I know why so many men have fantasies about little school girls."  He nodded, moving down to lick her throat.  He bit her and she moaned, arching her neck back.  "Is that why vampires are so wanted?"

"Mostly because they can go all night," he murmured, continuing to mark her.  He wanted to mark her so much.  He wanted to become demonic and chose her as his minion.  His for eternity, but he couldn't do that yet.  He wasn't ready.  She wasn't ready yet and neither was Wesley.  It would take another year at least.  Then who knows what he would look like.  She might forsake him.

"Quit thinking," she whispered in his ear.  "I know what you're thinking.  I'll still be there, Ethan.  I appreciate you in the same way I do my other stallion."  She stood up and pulled off her robe, tossing it behind him onto the floor.  Then she reached up and unclipped her hair, making him moan.  "Should I try to be naughty for you?" she teased.

"Please," he croaked, holding out a hand.  "One more kiss first, Luna."  She sat across his lap again, giving him another long kiss.  Then he let her go.  "Show me?"

"Of course I will," she reminded him.  She stood up and pulled off her sweater, tossing it aside.  Underneath was her plain white shirt and tie.  She slowly pulled it down and then over her head, smiling at him.  Then she undid the buttons on her shirt, standing proudly in front of him.  When she had it open, she straddled his lap again, giving him another kiss while his hands went up her back to free the back of it from her skirt.  The warm hands stroked up her back, making her shiver.  "Ethan," she moaned.

"I like the teasing, princess," he reminded her.  He blew the door shut so no one could interrupt.

"Fine, I won't bring you dinner," Wesley said from the other side.

Luna looked at it and willed it to open, smiling at him.  "Sorry, he thought you were Tara."

"She's off playing with the baby unicorn," he said dryly, bringing in the tray of soup bowls.  "I made tomato."  Then he kicked the door shut and locked it, taking off his apron.  "I left hers in the refrigerator.  When did you come in, Luna?"

"While he was thinking about getting old."  She stood up and walked over to help him out of his shirt, rubbing her partially clad body against his, her rear arched back toward her other love.  Ethan spanked her making her arch up and grin back at him.  "I can't tease him too?"

"Let him watch," Ethan ordered, pulling her back in front of him.  "Are you pretending to be a naughty school girl, Luna?"

"I am a naughty school girl.  I'm skipping out on detention in Herbology," she said proudly.  She took off the shirt, letting it fall to the ground.  Then she kicked off her shoes, leaving her stockings, skirt, bra, and panties. She sat in Ethan's lap again, going back to her kissing.  She liked kissing him, he was excellent at it.  "Wesley, sit and watch," she ordered.

"Very naughty," Ethan agreed happily, going back to his torture of her neck.

Wesley sat down, uncomfortable in his clothes when she started to moan.  He was learning a lot by watching them but he wanted some of that.  He held himself off through her tossing her hair around in passion, all the way until she stood up and bent down to tease Ethan's cock.  That did him in.  He could see right up her skirt.  She was wearing little panties and he enjoyed that quite a lot.  He slid to the floor and crawled over to tease her.  Her stance shifted but nothing more.  Ethan smirked at him and he shrugged. "She's wearing the purple set I bought her," he explained.  He put his head back under the skirt, nibbling and sucking over top of the delicate lace, making her shiver and shake while she sucked Ethan.  It was deliciously naughty and he enjoyed this game immensely.   It was one of his favorites these days.  Luna came with a moan and he shifted the lace aside so he could lap at her, cleaning her for their future enjoyment.

Ethan pulled the girl off his cock and kissed her.  "On me," he ordered.  He shimmied his pants down more and Wesley steadied her back as she slid onto him.  He groaned and grabbed her tighter, holding on as she rode him.   Her skirt was brushing his stomach with each movement, the slight scratching of the wool a nice counterpoint to the hot, warm, silky feeling he was engulfed in.  So many times he had wanted to crawl up her and be hers.  Just hers.  His focus had shifted off Wesley and to her.  She had both of them as her willing love slaves.  She arched her back and he focused on her again, noticing she was nearly there again.  Wesley was helping her along with a finger in the right spot. It was deliciously naughty of him.  What an excellent early birthday present.  He came with a soft moan into her shoulder and she shivered in his arms.  "Mine," he whispered in her ear.  "My equal.  My yang.  Mine, Luna."  She came with a ferocious growl, biting him on the neck.  He arched into her dominant move, letting her control her own passion for now.

When she came down, Wesley helped her stand up.  "As much as I like your outfit, I'd rather see you out of the skirt," Wesley said gently, helping her out of it.  She turned and kissed him hard, making him go weak in the knees.  She was for him and he wanted her so much.  He wanted her to be clean for him so he went down again, cleaning her out for his own use.  Luna was such a lovely girl, she even made Ethan gasp when he took off her panties and found she had shaved herself.

"Now I really feel the pervert," Ethan quipped, coming over to help.  He enjoyed this part of the act.  Wesley swatted at him so he went up to tease her in other ways.  She had very sensitive nipples.  "Should we force him to take you to the bed?"

"I'd rather he threw me on the bed and slid inside," she noted.  Wesley moaned, arching up into her.  She groaned, letting her head go limply backwards.  "Like that," she agreed. "More, Wesley, please?"

He stood up and picked her up, placing her onto the bed.  "I could never be that rough with you," he reminded her.  "Not outside of the bed."

"You mean you couldn't put me against the wall and have me limp within seconds?" she teased, spreading her legs.  "Wesley, I don't need a gentleman, I need a man."  She slid off the bed and attacked his mouth again, making him moan and relax.  "Gentlemanly things are wonderful, but I want the animal Wes underneath that proper top coat.  The one who enjoyed taking me on a long ride on his bike by the ocean."

Ethan smirked.  "Had her on the bike?"

"Hush, pervert," Wesley commanded.  "Are you sure, Luna?  I don't want to hurt you and you know I lose control."

"Control is bad, Wesley," she said solemnly.  "Control is for those Watcher blokes, the ones who can't pull their heads outta their arses.  Remember, you've learned better since then."  He shivered and picked her up, tossing her onto the bed, following her down to attack her snatch again, licking and sucking like he was going to be there all day and he was starving.  She watched as Ethan turned his chair around to watch them.  "Not going to help?" she teased.

"No, I'd rather watch," he admitted.  "I'll have you later, imp."

Wesley looked at him, licking his lips.  "I plan on leaving her limp and sated.  You may have to find something else to do with that."  Then he grinned ferally and undid his pants, sliding into her.  She squealed, arching up into his touches.  "You are mine, Luna.  I will make sure of it.  Otherwise I will get angry and destroy things."  She came at that pronouncement.  No one had ever wanted to destroy or build for her before.  Wesley continued, giving her what she wanted and needed, making her keen with need and desire.  By the time he was ready to blow off she was more than begging.  She was scratching his back, kicking him with her heels, begging for him to go deeper, or faster, or something.  This was the Luna he enjoyed having under him, she brought out the animal in him.  He leaned down and carefully bit her on the breast, marking her as his as he came.  She screamed, arching up into him, begging for that last inch in that breathless little voice she used with them.  When he was done, he went down on her one last time, giving her a little nip to the clitoris.  It was all she needed, she passed out under him, a content smile on her face.  Wesley looked at Ethan, who was hard, leaking, and panting.  "Did you need something?" he taunted.

Ethan slicked himself up and said a quick lubrication charm for his mate before sliding into him.  "You fucking tease," he ground out.  "I love it when you do that to her!  This is what we needed."  He continued, getting them both closer and closer.  He came first, still muttering about how Wesley was going to drive him to death one of these days.  When he looked down, Luna was gently sucking on Wesley, making him go off that way.  "Mine," he warned, pulling her off him and taking that for himself.  Wesley was his this time. She had already had an infusion of him.  Wesley's breath hitched, then stopped for a moment before he came.  Not a flood, just a few dribbles, but more than enough for his needs.  Ethan slid to the bed, holding Wesley between him and Luna.  "Precious," he soothed, stroking them both gently.  "Thank you, I needed that."

"We all did," Luna admitted, leaning across Wesley to kiss him.  Then she kissed Wesley when he pinched her nipple. "You're my favorite sleep aid, Wesley. You always knock me out."  She laid down on top of his chest, making sure she was in a pleasing position that also was teasingly hiding Wesley's body.  Ethan liked to be visually stimulated.

"Luna, as much as I like your posing, I can't breathe," Wesley noted, flipping them over so he could lay on her chest.  It was just the right size to make good pillow and Ethan liked sleeping with his head on her stomach.   Some day soon, Ethan would want her stomach to swell for him but Wesley was hoping she held that off for a while longer.  He adored her this way.  She was his kitten.  He knew her house badge was an eagle but she was his lioness.  "You are my world," he admitted to her heartbeat.

"And you're my insanity, which makes me free," she reminded him.  "Not just a book nerd but a real woman."  She pulled his head up and kissed him.  "You nap, Wes, you deserve it.  You were very athletic."  He blushed and put his head back down, snuggling in until he was comfortable.

They drifted off to sleep together, content with this arrangement.

***

Xander looked at his mate, then up at the sky.  No wonder he felt so odd.  It was the new moon, the time of claiming and of holding your possessions to make sure the world started over again.  Or at least it always had been for him.    Moon dark was a special time to him, it called out to him to frolic in the chill air outside.  It called to him to make Draco frolic with him outside in the chill air.  "I feel like Oz," he muttered, stamping down the urge.

"Why do you feel like a werewolf with odd hair?" Draco asked from the couch.  His headache was better now, he felt peaceful and calm thanks to the medicine.

"Because sometimes the moon calls out to me," Xander said quietly, walking over to his mate's side.  "I've always done my rites of renewal during moon dark.  It's a special time for me, Draco, and I feel the call.  I may be out of step with the rest of the magical world, but to me full moon is to celebrate and moon dark is to hold on and frolic.  To embrace and to prod the world on."

Draco looked at him, slowly putting his book aside.  "Is this some sort of thing from your past life?"

"I reveled at moon dark before I consciously knew what magic was," Xander vowed.  He pulled off his robe and vest, then grabbed Draco, pulling him up.  "Come with me?" he asked with a shy grin.  "Please?"

"It's cold outside, Alex," Draco said gently, touching the side of his face.

"We can cure cold, Draco, I *need* this.  Please?"

"As long as my headache doesn't come back," Draco allowed, taking off his own vest and robe.  He thought about it and changed their clothes to something a bit more flimsy, something more causal.  His wand was tuck in his waistband and Alex's main one was as well.  Then his mate pulled him outside through a tunnel he hadn't known about.  Outside onto the pitch, then across it and through the woods.  It all blurred so quickly, it was like they were flying they were running so fast.  They entered a clearing, one that felt safe and peaceful and Alex let him go, turning to look at him.  "What is this place?"

"Someplace I found my first year," Xander said proudly.  "None of the creatures can enter."  He took off his shirt and created a fire in the center of the clearing, then pulled his mate closer, taking the wands and putting them onto his shirt before pulling Draco's off him and tossing it aside as well.  "Play with me," he said, beginning to move in a rhythm only he could hear.  Draco gave him a funny look but played along; it was up to Xander to show him what to do.  Why they celebrated moon dark and why it moved the world on.  He grabbed his mate, moving him against his body, forcing him to move in the rhythm.  "Let yourself feel the magical currents, Draco," he whispered in his ear as they danced.  "They provide the music for the celebration.  That is why we celebrate."

Draco groaned, letting go of all his controls.  Off to their side, Hogwarts shined a brilliant pale grey light.  To their right, the fire shone blue, a different sort of power.  All around them were wisps of magic, flowing and dancing along with them.  He had never been able to see them this way before.  Before they were like lines, faint and two-dimensional.  Now they were like traces of a fog that no one else could see.  He could see their movements on the winds of power.  No mortal or earthly wind stirred them, not even their own breaths, the magic danced on a wind much older than that.  He picked one and followed it, moving along and dancing with it like it was his partner.  At one point, it brushed his skin and he felt energized.  Renewal, like his mate had said.  In the back of his mind, things were whispered, truths he had begged to be real.  He could see the colors of Xander's love for him, all the spectrum.  Right now, it was bordering between teaching him something new and love.  Carnal love.  He let go of his current partner and picked another, one to take him back to his mate's side.  "You are as magical as the power," he vowed, stealing a kiss.

Xander looked shocked but went along with it.  "You are mine," Xander told him.  "All mine and only mine."  He claimed his mate, crushing him to his body as they dance along, still following the magic.  This was his rite, his time.  Draco could feel and see things he could barely sense but this was his time.  His rite of claiming and being claimed.

"Shh.  The magic shows me what you feel," Draco soothed, calming Xander down.  "I already wear your claim."  He tilted his head to the side, letting him see the bruise he had sucked on last night.  "That is your mark."

"My mark, now my scent," Xander said, stripping them as they continued around the fire.  The dance became more rubbing than anything else, making him want this more than anything.  Draco would be his.  He would finally get to claim his mate.  He had tried with the others but they had backed off.  Draco would not back off, he could feel it, sense it within his soul.  Draco was the one his soul cried out for and it was going to get him.  Suddenly, the magic stilled around them.  Xander took the opportunity to lower them to the ground.  "Time stops before moving on," he whispered as he moved his lover underneath him.  "Mortals do not realize but we feel it, out here with the magic, alone with it.  Time stops each month and we are one with it."   He nipped and bit his way down his mate's body, making him arch up and cry out.  "Shh, only more marks."

"Mark me," Draco begged.  He understood.  He knew what was going to happen.  Then he would get his chance.   Xander pushed his way inside, barely preparing him, claiming him honestly, strongly, forcefully.  This is what he had been craving.  His voice crawled up and down the scale as they moved against each other, this primal dance a different one than the one they had been doing.  This one was about giving and taking and Draco could feel his body, his powers, his innate gifts, screaming with the need to suck Xander's body inside him deeper, until he could taste him.  With one last push, Xander came and Draco reared up, biting him on the neck, making him howl in pain and pleasure.  It was the perfect moment in the union.  Then the magic slowly started up again as they came down.  Draco slipped free and grabbed a wand, using it to prepare his mate gently.  This was the time for comforting touches, for splendid caresses, for touching and feeling as life was reborn for another cycle.  He slid inside his mate, looking down at him. "I am yours," he repeated, over and over until Xander was chanting it with him.  The same phrase, binding them together.  A private vow that was needed and yet unnecessary between them.  He understood now.  As his powers reached out to suck in the lust and energy Xander was giving off, he took in some of his emotions as well.  He could feel what he felt, every imperfection and doubt, each desire and longing, each truth and untruth he held inside him.  It was all his.  He came with that knowledge solidly inside him, starting a new, gentler month.

He laid down to hold his mate, careful with him.  He was a fragile creature.  He had never understood how fragile Xander was before but now he knew and understood.  He was Xander's strength and reason for continuing.  He was the reason Xander moved forward instead of sulking in his past.  And for him, Xander was the person who held the strings on his kite, his jailer and releaser at the same time.  The magic settled down as dawn came closer, sinking back into the ground.  He rebuilt his controls and the magic slowly faded from his view.  "Next month?" he whispered.

"I've tried to celebrate it each month but I never had anyone who understood," Xander whispered back, giving him a squeeze.  "This month the attacks will occur.  I saw them.  The magic knew."

"It knew more than that, love.  It knew you had children."  He stole a kiss, grinning at him.  "You are the best cure for my headache."

"You understand.  You're my cure for everything."  Xander brushed a strand of hair off Draco's cheek and then kissed him again.  "I need a nap."

"Then we'll nap.  Dancing takes a lot of energy."  He settled in to snuggle.  It was the best and only way.

***

In the castle, Dumbledore put out his light.  He had felt the magic respond to the primal call and was happy for the couple.  Very few felt the call of the magic in that manner.  Only two that he knew of.  The other was in his own place.  A sacred and holy place known only to him.  The world would move on once the sun was up, everything was right.

In his own clearing, Severus Snape looked up at the shrouded moon.  "You taunt me," he cried.  "Why?  I have always honored you."  He bowed his head.  The magic didn't lie.  The visions he got were the truth.  He was not who he thought.  His nature was telling instead of his mind or his will.  His life was about to change in ways that no one but himself could understand.  And it had to change before the attacks.  Or else all would be lost.

He would accept this truth and build upon it.  There was no other way for him now.  The magic had spoken.

***

Not far away, a woman woke up screaming and holding her stomach.  "Oh, shit!" she yelled, panting and rocking slightly.  Her twins sat up to help her, rubbing and stroking her to calm her down again.

Battleground

Note:   Death Warning.  The battle happens here and people die.

The head over the aurors walked into Arthur Weasley's office waving a letter.  "I just heard from Tonks if you wanted to tell your son and nearly-son," he said with a smile.  Arthur smiled back and relaxed.  "She said, and I quote, "It's really fun here, boss.  Almost as fun as classes.  Not.  Anyway, we've been though that horrible gate thingie about seven times recently and it still makes me sick.  Thank Alex for the shields for me.  I've shipped about sixty crates of crap back through the Canadians, and you should look at some of the stuff.  Oh, tell Alex we found the shrine he promised his gramps and it's a bit smaller than he had hoped for but fairly spectacular.  The Malfoys were gits even back then. The last Weasley on the planet has Ginny's nose so I know I'm right about that sideline being hers, and the only Snape here is actually now a Dumass.  Gee, what a shock that is.  Tell Severus that she's really pissy, like his youngest sister.  You can see the resemblance to the Dumass side too, she's a reckless bloke, just like Alex is.  Imagine a child from Draco and Severus met and married one from Alex and Ronnie, and you get the last Snape-Dumass."  Arthur cracked up at that and he held up a hand.  "But overall I'm having fun, boss.  There's whole worlds of people here who are scared to death of me.  Gotta go, more aliens to scare until they commit suicide.  Lovies, Tonks.  Oh, and tell Arthur that I'm right so he can check it out too."  He folded up the letter.  "And there you have it."

"What sideline?" Arthur asked.

"In that diary Dumass and them decoded, there was a mention of one of you lot.  And his newborn baby daughter who didn't get snatched."  Arthur gasped.  "She's not in the official Weasley file upstairs either.  We figure she got picked up and protected by someone.  Tonks figures that's where Ginny comes from since she's so much like your own."

Arthur beamed.  "I know just how to check that out too.  The main family birth chart goes back that far but it's been sealed up for a long time with one of my Aunts.  It's in her basement I think.  We've been using a modern copy of the thing.  I'll check with her tonight."

"Good man, and please pass on the message that Tonks is having fun scaring the universe."

"With her hair, I'm sure it was a given," Arthur told him, looking serious until he burst out laughing.  "Thanks for that."

"Not a problem, Arthur, I like your kids.  That Bill's something else entirely."  He strolled off whistling, sounding very pleased with his people.  Tonks was doing the first shift over there since she had the most battle experience.  It looked like she was giving it the old Hogwarts try.

Arthur wrote out the message and sent it with his owl, smiling as it departed.  Then he wrote one out to his son and sent it through the floo to Gryffindor.  He'd get it soon enough.

***

Ron ran in late to Defense with the Hufflepuffs, smiling at the teacher.  "Can I borrow my cohorts for a few minutes?" he asked.  "I just got a note from my dad."

"No.  You can do that between classes," Methos said patiently.  "Sit down, Mr. Weasley."

"Yes, Prof."  He sat down and looked at Xander, grinning and holding up a thumb.  "Tonks," he hissed.  Xander broke out in giggles, leaning down to try and cover them.

"Enough," Professor Methos demanded.  "Or I'm giving a pop quiz on Pokemon monsters."

"I watched that show," Xander said proudly.  "I still want a Jigglypuff."

Methos looked at him.  "Why does that not surprise me," he said dryly.  "We're going over emotional curses," he announced.  "Hopefully some of you are taking this seriously."  He turned and put the first one on the board.

"Shit, that's what's wrong with the moody bastard," Xander said suddenly, sitting up straight.

"Which one, Mr. Dumass?" Methos asked patiently. "You make so many people moody and sullen you should be declared a cause for depression."

"The broody mood-cow who follows you around.  I've often wanted to do a good 'Finite Incantantum' to him and Angel both but I was worried I might break his soul free and then he's go all evil, stupid, stalker git again and try to kill some more fish and then we'd have to kill him but it does explain MacLeod perfectly.  I wonder who he pissed off that much?"

"Don't you mean which family?" Harry asked.  "That one takes more than one caster."

"Knowing MacLeod, it could have been a country," Xander told him.  "But it's simple enough to fix.  Sev has a potion that'll fix it."  He beamed at his teacher.  "Can I?"

"No, you may bother the rest of the world *after* my class, not during it.  Sit still as well.  No more wiggling like your sister's familiar."  He turned back to the board and went back to writing notes.  "I mean it, Dumass.  Or else I'm still throwing a pop quiz and you won't be able to take part."

"I'll just give the answers," Xander reminded him.

"Fine, go," Methos sighed.  "It will save me trouble later anyway."  Xander picked up his things and rushed out, heading down to the potion's classroom to interrupt his seventh years.  "Now that we're done with that, may we move on?  Mr. Weasley, anything else you'd like to add?"

Ron scrunched up his face while he thought, then shook his head.  "Not right at the moment.  Did he say Angel killed fish?  Why?  Isn't that really easy to do?"

"He was stalking Willow at the time and did it to frighten her.  He strung them up prettily and put them in an envelope on her pillow.  Out, Mr. Weasley, and do a paper for me on this subject, two feet by next class," Methos ordered.  Ron and a few others opted out of the class, deciding to do it on their own.  "Fine.  Are we done with the inanity?"  Everyone else nodded.  "Good," he purred in a stalking, sexual predatory manner.  "Then let's get on with emotional curses before I do on one the class."   He turned back to finish his notes, noticing someone else was sneaking out with Ron's letter.  "Paper, Mr. Potter.  3 feet."

"Yes, sir," Harry called back.  "Thank you, sir."  He ran off, catching up to Ron in the meeting room.  "You dropped it."  Ron waved a hand so he sat down to read it, giggling at the message.  "I knew Tonks would be a good one to go threaten the universe.  If it couldn't be Cordelia or Buffy, I'm glad it's her."

Ron giggled.  "I'll tell Dawn you said that."

"Okay."  He handed it back.  "I've got three feet."

"Pick the suicidal depression one," Xander said as he led his cousin in.  "It's got feet and feet worth of paper.  I should know, I did twelve and only repeated two points."  Severus gave him a look.  "The teacher told me to write everything," he said with a grin.  "We've figured out what's wrong with MacLeod."

"Who?" Snape asked.

"The Scottish hero mooning over Methos," Harry supplied.  Snape looked at him, still looking clueless.  "Long dark hair, looks like he belongs on the cover of a romance novel if he'd ever quit sulking?"

"Oh, him," Snape said with distaste.  "Why do I want to help him?"

"Because otherwise he's going to keep popping up and he'll take all the heat in the battles," Xander told him dryly.  He saw that wasn't working.  "Because if you don't, I can't send Dawn over there for the holidays, which means you'll be stuck in the same house as Angel, Spike, Cordelia, Buffy, Fred, Gunn, Wesley, Ethan, Dawn, Harry, Ron, Draco, and Sirius," he said smugly.  "If you do, it can be an all-adult holiday after Christmas morning."

"Black is living?" Snape asked looking at Harry.  He nodded.  "Then why hasn't he been caught?"

"Ministry, in the US?" Harry pointed out gently.  "Besides, we all know he didn't do anything.  Pettigrew was captured the other morning and then escaped again."

"Since when?" Snape demanded.

"It was in the morning paper a few days back," Ron told him.  "Tuesday I think."  He looked at Xander.  "We're coming over for the holidays?"

"I expected you to spend a lot of it curled up against Dawn when she wasn't at your house," Xander offered.   He looked at his cousin again.  "Yes?"

"That is more than reason enough," Snape admitted.  "Torture is not kind, Alex."

"Hey, I offered you a way out of it," Xander said with a faint grin.   "We can easily create portkeys over for the *whole* group Christmas afternoon.  That gives us a week without the kids."

Snape hid his smile but he knew Xander could tell.  "Fine.  I'll accept your gracious invitation and make that potion for him.  It should take a few days."

"He should show up again in about six if he keeps his usual schedule," Ron told him.  "Hey, Xander, can we send him over to help Tonks?  You think they'd like him?"

Xander snickered.  "You are mean, Ron.  What did those aliens do to you?"

"They stole one of the founding Weasleys," he said firmly.

"Good point."  Xander looked at his cousin.  "Please?  I'll be nice and get you something special for the holidays."

"Nothing sexual?"

"I'll get you at least one thing that's not sexual or joke related," Xander promised.

"Fine.  That is incentive enough.  Potter, tell Black to stay over there.  They can have a dinner in your honor when you arrive."  He walked off, heading back to his classroom.

Xander spun around and grinned.  "Good me.  It's my good deed of the year."  He beamed at them.  "Okay, we need books on emotional curses."  He walked over to a nondescript trunk in the corner, kicking it open.  "Hey, Grams, may I please have the stuff I was working on and the Big Book of Dark Curses?" he called.  A few books flew out and nearly hit him, especially the thick and heavy one.  "Here we go."  He grinned at Ron, ducking one last book.  "Thanks, Grams."

"You're welcome," Aunt Cordy called.  "Behave, Alex."

"We found out what's wrong with MacLeod.  We'll fix him when he shows up next time."

"Good!  He's out bothering the cows."  The lid on the trunk slammed shut.

"That sucks," Harry said, starting to snicker.

Ron looked at the big, heavy book that was nearly as big as he was.  "You weren't kidding. It's really called the Big Book of Dark Curses."  He looked at Xander.  "Where did you find this thing?"

Xander coughed and flipped it to the first page, then walked off humming.   He had only added about a hundred curses and spells to it.  Professor Flitwick's cousin had done most of it.  He found his mate outside a classroom and gave him a long, deep, probing kiss, startling the non-Hufflepuffs.  "We've got the big book downstairs," he shared then he walked on.

"Class, Xander," Draco ordered.  "Or no sex during lunch."  Xander sighed and trudged back, going into class with him.  "Thank you."  He saw the teacher's amused look.  "It works.  It's incentive."

"Probably the only incentive that works," Flitwick admitted.  "Mr. Dumass, I could have sworn I had dismissed you for the semester."

"Draco said I had to come or I couldn't suck him off during lunch," Xander said, starting to pout.  "He's trying to take away all my fun, Professor.  I was even nice enough to talk Professor Snape into helping fix MacLeod and giving Ron and Harry your cousin's book to do research from."

Flitwick's eyes opened wide.  "My cousin's book?"  Xander grinned and nodded.  "Mr. Malfoy-Dumass, you will give him whatever he wants during lunch as long as he goes back to watch what they pull from there.  We don't need an ice demon wandering around the school for kicks."

"Yes, Professor," Draco agreed, walking Xander out.  He swatted him.  "Naughty, Xander!"

"Sorry!"  He gave him a smug look.  "It's the Big Book of Dark Curses."

Draco frowned.  "I thought that was a myth."

"No, I added about a hundred things to it myself," Xander said proudly.  "They're doing research on emotional curses."

"Why would that be in ....."  Draco took off running.  "You will *not* torment me with something out of there," he shouted as he ran down the halls.

Xander gave the nearest painting a smug look.  "And that's my evil deed for the week," he said proudly, going out to fly around.  He waved at the Headmaster as he passed by him.  "They're doing research.  You might want to send Severus in a while to check on them.  They're doing lots and lots of research."  He ran out to join the first years flying around.  He enjoyed the hell out of flying class and tried to make it every day.  Madam Hooch looked at him like he was demented but that was fine with him.  He was used to it.

***

Severus Snape looked up as Draco walked into his classroom that afternoon during his free period.  "What did you need?" he asked quietly.

"I needed to talk to you about something I saw during the moon dark," he offered.  "I saw some very odd things."  Snape sighed and slumped a little.  "Not that I care, but he might."

"He very well might, but I do not want that information to get out."

"Good point.  I won't even pick on you about it, but I feel he should know. Or at least Des should know.  It'd make her go easier on him."

Professor Snape looked at him.  "It won't because I'd never change my name."

"Hmm.  A good point, but I still think he should know.  I'm not going to tell him but he does think about such things.  He was worrying about them earlier this month."  He crossed his arms.  "I'm not asking for bloody hearts and flowers, but maybe a discussion?"

"When I feel capable of it, I will tell him," Snape agreed.  "Thank you for letting me know you know."

"For some odd reason I seem to like you," Draco admitted.  "I have no idea why."  Then he gave him a half-smile and strolled out.  "I've got to catch my mate and make him sorry for letting those two have that book."

"What book?"

"The Big Book of Dark Curses," Draco threw over his shoulder.  "It's too heavy to move, it's still down there."

Snape rushed out, going to look in the mythical book.  He'd never seen a copy, only heard of it.  He found Professors Methos and Flitwick looking at it as well.  "Is it really?"

"It is," Flitwick admitted, looking very down.  "One of my cousins did most of the editing.  Mr. Dumass added one-hundred-twelve things to it and his grandmother another fifty-six."  He turned a page.  "It really is a fascinating thing."

"At least we'll know who the curses came from when they happen," Methos offered.  "It would have to come from one of the group."

"At least the Weasley twins never got hold of it," Snape pointed out.  All three teachers smiled at that, it was a happy thought.  Who knows what the twins would have done in their school careers if they had gotten hold of it.  "Did those two pranksters come back?"

"They were sent to a magical reform school in the United States," Flitwick told him.  "Served them right for such a harmful thing."  He turned another page.  "Oh, dear.  I've seen this one before.  It was used against Miss Lovegood.  Ah, and here's what she did back."  He shook his head.  That had been a hard charm to break.  She was very good at offensive hexing.  Or hexing things into offensive forms.  Really, making the girl into a giant walking fist doing the two-fingered salute all day was a bit much.   Professor McGonagall hadn't been able to decide if she should award points and applaud or sigh in disgust and shake her head.  Her area's pride and joy was at stake.  He turned another page.  "Ah, here's the source of the monster up in the attic.  The spell to bring Fluffy to life."  Snape shuddered.

"Having flashbacks?" Methos asked.

Snape nodded.  "Yes.  He was guarding the Philosopher's stone when it was here.  I got bitten trying to protect the thing.  Potter still made it past him."

"Hagrid said the beast loves music," Methos told him.  "He had it out for a walk and it pounced me to slobber on me."

Snape and Flitwick both shuddered.  That poor man.  Flitwick turned a page and sighed again.  "Here's one we'll be seeing tonight if the wand movements I caught Ron using were what I thought I saw."  Snape came around to look as well.  "It's a spell to change food into fishing worms.  Very unappetizing."

Methos gave him a pat on the shoulder. "It could be worse. It could have been your own youthful mistake, Finius."

"True, but it was my family's.  We didn't even get to kick the bastard out," he said sadly.  "He died when something backfired on him.  He was trying to send himself to the moon   you know."  He turned the page and shuddered, flipping again quickly.  He didn't need to see anything about penis shrinking potions.  What a horrible thing.  And Alex had put it in there.  How could a man do that to other men?

***

Professor Dumbledore stood up during dinner, looking at his students.  "A short announcement," he said firmly.  "Anyone caught casting something out of that book in the manner's meeting room will be expelled with full prejudice by the Ministry and will be forced to live in the nether regions of South America without human contact for life.  We've already set up the house and everything."  He looked from Xander and Draco to Ron and Harry.  "I mean it."

"Then no one should eat the sweet potatoes," Xander offered.

Ron coughed.  "Or the gravy."  He looked at Xander.  "Worms?"

Xander shook his head.  "Penis shrinking potion.  I like it when people look at me in awe."  Draco hit him on the arm. "Ow.  Sorry, dear.  I went a bit naughty today."  He looked at Ron.  "What did you do?"

"Worms."

"I'll have those dishes removed.  You both have detention tonight with Hagrid in the forest.  And no scaring the creatures, Mr. Weasley."

"No fair, you're not picking on him," Ron pouted.

"He can't help his scary nature," McGonagall said, glaring at Xander.  "It seems to be natural to him."

"I'll remember you said that when Halloween comes around," Xander offered with a grin.  "You mean I can't shoot a centaur if it bothers me?"

"Only in self-defense, Mr. Dumass."

"Yes, sir."  He sulked, getting a strange look from his mate.  "What?  I like my naughtier side sometimes.  It begs to come out."

"You're delusional.  I'll make you a normal Dumass yet," Draco warned, handing him some food.  "Anything else we shouldn't eat or drink?"

"No, I only did the sweet potatoes.  The house elves were in the book though.  They might have been doing something."

Dumbledore walked out and dinner didn't appear.  He would check on that before something happened.  "Shouldn't he have grown up by now?" he muttered as he walked.

***

Two little mice snuck into the room, squeaking at each other as they ran over to the book.  One pulled a wand and started a copying spell, knowing it would only get half of it at best.  There was too much there to leave alone though.  A new copy floated into existence near them, labeled conveniently "Dark Pranks" and only an inch thick.  The copy was finished and they took both with them.  If mice could cackle, every owl in the owlery would have hidden in fear.  They got home in time to see the next labor pain, soothing their wife by reading to her out of them.  The midwife wasn't looking happy with them but what did they care?  It was calming their wife down.

***

Methos looked up and smirked.  "The rest of the day is a study hall, I do expect you to study.  I shall be back tomorrow."  He looked at Ron.  "Not coming?" he asked when he noticed he wasn't moving.

"I'm trying to figure out what that is."

"It's your niece and nephew being born."

"Cool!"  Ron and Harry both gathered up their things and followed him out of the special seminar class, going to help the twins with the new babies.

Methos made it through the floo first and someone foolishly stood in his way.  "I have been present at the birth of every single one of us to date, I am not missing these two, move," he said with great authority.  Molly Weasley got out of his way and he headed in to help.  "Tipsy," he said with a smile.  "We felt."  He sat down to smooth her hair off her forehead.  "It's all right, love, we're right here.  We can bless them as soon as they come out."  She nodded, grabbing onto his arm with both hands as another contraction started.  He looked at the midwife.  "Need help?"

"I do not and you should not be in here," she said firmly.

Methos looked down, then knocked her out.  "Shut up.  Boys!"  Ron and Harry came running in followed by the twins, Molly, and Philip.  "Philip, we will be blessing the children as soon as they come out," he ordered calmly.  "You two, come take my place, Ron and Harry I want you both to do that massage technique I was teaching you on Lovegood."  He stood up and moved down to be the midwife.   He had delivered most of the Banes as well as blessed them as one of them.  He let Molly help him because it would make her quit twittering.  The midwife groaned and Ron drug her out of the way.  "There," Methos noted.  "Harry, push a bit, the baby's tipped toward you.  Ron, small circles to calm the second one."  Ron nodded, following his directions while Harry helped.  "Just a bit less, Harry."  Harry eased up and Tipsy started to breathe again.  "Thank you.  Now, downward pressure."  He smiled at her.  "I see red hair."  The twins cheered up at that news.  "And another," he ordered.  Tipsy pushed again, bringing more of the head out.

***

Xander walked into the Great Hall at breakfast the next morning.  "I am pleased to announce that the Weasley twins have had one healthy boy and a slightly less healthy girl.  She's a little small so she's at the hospital for a few days just in case."  The students burst out in applause and cheers.  "The mother is fine and swearing there will be no more from her."  The older girls laughed.  "The twins were so happy they forgot to hex the midiwife who tried to remove them from their children's sides."  Even McGonagall clapped at that.  "As such, Harry, Ron, and Professor Methos are at the hospital and will be back soon," he told the teachers.

Dumbledore nodded.  "Thank you.  How were they?"

Xander walked up to the head table.  "Very well.  The boy was twenty-two inches and just under ten pounds.  The little girl was smaller, she was twenty-one and about six pounds.  There was almost a third but apparently it stopped developing in her first trimester or early second according to Professor Methos.  It's what was causing her complications because it hadn't been reabsorbed.  The mother realized it and had a good cry but accepted the fate.  They're holding a private ceremony to bury that one."

"I'll send them a note between classes," McGonagall told him.  "Did you get to help?"

"I got to hold one of the slimy, wiggling darlings," Xander told her.  "I'm not medically inclined."

"Good point.  Thank you for the good news.  Do you have any idea where your mate might be?"  Xander shook his head.  "Are you sure?"

"He wasn't there, he might have slept in this morning," Xander said with a shrug.  "We do have a free period first thing."

"Good point," Dumbledore agreed.  "Thank you."  He looked at Professor Snape.  "Didn't you want to offer your congratulations?"  He had been strangely silent, usually he found something polite to say at the least.

"Expressing either joy or remorse would not make her feel better," Snape offered, looking at Xander.  "Is she fine?"  He nodded.  "Truly fine?"

"Just fine.  The midwife pronounced her healthy and so did the healer the twins called in when she started to have the third.  Methos knocked the midwife out because she had demanded everyone leave the room.  Tipsy didn't even have anyone to hold her hands for her.  Methos and Molly delivered them, the twins held her hands and coached and my two apprentices did metamorphics on her stomach."  He gave him a smug little grin.  "It was very nice of her to go last night."

"It was," Snape agreed, nodding at him.  "Go eat."

"Sure.  Is my book still down there?"

"It is.  You will leave it alone and not pick the lock I put on it," Snape warned.

Xander grinned.  "I've got the thing memorized.  I helped write it."  He went to have some breakfast, looking down at Dawn. "Draco?"

"Sleeping on a couch.  They're really okay?"

"Just fine.  The little girl's a little small.  Apparently Weasley girls are hard to bear."

Dawn snickered.  "I'll tell Ginny you said that."

"She heard it from her mother's mouth anyway," Xander reminded her.  He pulled over some toast and nibbled.  "Who else got into the book?"

"Crabbe and Goyle.  Snape had to stop Crabbe from a life of solitude in the middle of nowhere."

"Ah."  Xander nodded.  "Good deal.  Think the twins would like it as a baby shower gift?"

Dawn's eyes widened as Draco walked in, pointing at him.  "Someone has bedhair."

"Hmm, someone does," Xander agreed, standing up and walking over to Draco, then picking him up and carrying him out to mess up his hair more.  He liked bedhair on his mate.

The whole of Hufflepuff sighed at the romantic gesture.  Xander was such a nice man.

Most of the Slytherins looked on in awe.  No wonder Draco had chosen him.  He was strong enough to get past the Slytherin distaste for the romantic.

Severus Snape shook his head.  "Showoff," he muttered.

***

Harry looked up as his forehead started to hurt, nodding to McGonagall that he was going outside.  He went out and leaned it against the cool of the wall.  He felt he should go, he really ought to, but something was holding him back.  A sharp pain in his arm made him focus on that.  "Snape," he hissed, heading down to the dungeons, still holding his forehead.  His uncle was in Potions chatting while being forced to help with the potion for MacLeod since it was his idea.  He tapped on the door, still holding his forehead.  "Is my uncle still here?" he asked quietly.  "I think I need to go do something."

Snape took a deep breath.  "He is.  Go change clothes.  You won't want to fight in your school robes."  Harry nodded.  "I'll have him meet you in front of the door in five minutes."  Harry nodded again and ran off, heading up to his room to change.  Severus turned around and looked at his class.  "Class is hereby canceled for the rest of the day.  I want you all to calmly head up to your rooms and stay in your towers until told otherwise."  Xander's head slowly raised.  "We're needed," he told him.

"Give me three to change," Xander ordered, heading up to do that.  He met Draco in the hallway outside their room and walked in to change clothes together.  "You don't have to go.  I won't make you kill your relatives."

"If they're there, they're not relatives of mine," Draco said calmly.  He noticed what Xander was putting on.  "Curse breakers' unofficial uniform?" he asked.

"That and these jeans have seen me through a lot of battles, Draco.  I helped send Angelus to hell in them and I helped blow up the school in them.  I even helped destroy the Initiative in them.  They've got good memories of battles soaked into them."  He pulled on a sweater and a heavy leather jacket.  "Grab a jacket, it was snowing earlier."  He pulled on his boots and stomped his feet to make sure they were on tightly, tying them quickly so he could join Draco in heading down to the house.  The rest of the years were filing in.  "Dawn!" he shouted.  She bounced down the stairs.  "You know where the release is?"  She nodded.  "Good, you're in charge of it.  No following, you're the last fighter left in this tower."  She nodded again.  "I'll make sure Ron comes back as uninjured as possible, princess.  Don't wait up."  He grabbed his sword from the corner and slung the scabbard over his back, leading the way down to the entry.  He found Methos sharpening his.  "You waited to do that?"

"I just killed a desk with it," he said calmly.  He looked at Xander.  "Wand?"

"Wands," Xander corrected, opening his jacket to show it fully stocked.  "I planned this outfit out ahead of time."  He looked around.  "Harry?"

"Coming.  He's fighting a few Gryffs," Ron said as he joined them.  He looked over as the teachers joined them.  "Gryff's gonna help," he warned.  "We're heading with them."  McGonagall opened her mouth.  "I told you, I fight with the Banes or not at all.  Neville knows the passage and the password to get the littles out.   Harry?"

"He's coming," she told him.  She looked over as Professor Snape came out in a dark grey outfit.  He wasn't wearing a robe, instead he was wearing a well-fitting leather jacket.  "That looks nice on you," she said, fussing with his lapels.  "Kick him once for me, Severus."  He nodded as Harry joined them.  "Are you sure?"

"Wait," Luna called, jogging up to them.  She handed Xander something.  "Ethan sends his love and Wesley sends you this.  It's for protection.  He got news this morning that he might be forcing some demons to help him."

"Good deal," Xander agreed, stuffing the protection amulet in his pocket.  "Did you call the house?"

"I did.  Des is waiting for you to set a marker."  Harry looked back at her.  "Did you think Alex was the only fighter in the family?  Des is a formidable witch in her own right.  There's a reason why she heads the family."  She straightened out her outfit.  "Like it?" she asked as they left together.  "Ethan said it was the most cute thing he could find for me to fight in."

"I do," Draco admitted.  It looked very comfortable and warm on her.  "Do you have anything on under it in case it gets ripped?"

She smirked.  "I have my bitch queen from hell outfit on.  Cordelia helped me pick it out," she said smugly.  "Apparating, portkey, or otherwise, Potter?"

"Portkey," Harry ordered.  "Did someone tell Hermione to call DA into service?"  Ron nodded.   "Good."  He took a deep breath.  "Let's go."  He watched as Xander created a very loose portkey.  "Hoping he'll take it?"

"He'll try it anyway," Xander noted.  Before he grabbed on, he sent out a call over the Bane marking, telling them to get ready.  Then he grabbed on and activated it, taking them all to the appointed meeting spot.  Snow was falling gently around them, the woods were painted with a grayish light.   The world was silent for a moment as they appeared.  He nudged Harry behind him.  "You are in the middle," he reminded him.  "Unless you're called for private combat."  He felt Methos send out the marker and felt the rest of everyone pop in behind him.  He felt one wobble a bit.  "Tipsy, if that's you or Emilia, I want you home," he ordered coolly.  "I'm not risking either of you.  Draco can do your jobs and so can the twins."

"I'm not leaving my twins alone," Tipsy told him.  "Neither set.  The others are well guarded."  She pulled her wand.  "You're fucked," she told him.

Voldemort laughed.  "How genteel you are, m'lady Ramvette," he sneered.  "I see not much has changed."

"Actually, much has changed," Xander told him.  "Very much indeed."  He shifted his stand to a 'ready' pose.  "Are we going to chat?  You're boring me and taking me away from my long-awaited shag this afternoon."

"A pure blood," Voldemort said, looking him over.  "Which family I can't tell."

Xander bowed.  "Carnage.  Surname Dumass."

Voldemort swallowed.  "Really?"

"Really," Xander sneered.  "You're picking on my family. Did you think I wouldn't come back for this?  Deaged and everything, in top form."  He could feel Draco behind him, a bright ball of energy starting to suck things in.  "No, his emanations will hurt you, Draco.  Do the others instead," he said quietly.

"You could join me.  All of the pure could," Voldemort offered.

Luna yawned.  "You're boring me.  You're taking me away from my chaos mage and my stallion.  Can't we get on with this?"

"Lovegood, calm yourself," Methos warned.  "Irritating him will make him sloppy but not enough."  He nudged her when he saw the demons coming out of the woods.  "Concentrate on them."

Xander grinned and pulled his sword.  "I am Alexander Harris-Dumass, White Knight of Sunnydale," he called in the most common demon language.  "All those who doubt that Buffy trained me step up and die."  Some of the demons turned tail and ran, others looked very uneasy.  A few however grinned and bared their teeth.  "Luna, did you tell Wesley?" he asked, feeling Ethan coming in.

"I did.  They called LA."  She looked the demons over.  "Steel, steel, iron, cast iron, wood, iron, and water," she noted.  "All perfectly harmed easily."  She took the knife from Xander's back pocket.  "May I borrow this?"

"Sure.  I had Tara bless it for me."  He swung his sword around.  "Who gives the starting bell?"

"Ding," Ron said, pointing his wand.  "You smell like my sister, did you go near her?"

Voldemort laughed. "No.  She was protecting the unicorn.  The son was most delicious when I trapped him last night."

"They're called colts, idiot, and it was still alive this morning," Des told him.  "Interestingly enough, Ginny healed it with me.  Pity for you."  She pulled her wand.  "I agree, enough talk.  This snow is too pretty to sully with their blood."

"Always artistic," Xander said happily, grinning at her.  "Any time now, really.  You're fairly boring.  The school is still protected. So is our house.  So is the Burrow.  There's no one you could really hurt.  Diagon's got it's own defenses.  The Leaky is covered by them and Tom was a great fighter in his day.  Hogsmeade is defended by the school.  You're trapped to this lone battlefield.  Unless you wanted to move somewhere more meaningful?  The field where Arthur died maybe?  Stonehenge?  The hill with the dick carved on it?"

Voldemort looked at him.  "No, this field suits me.  Anxious?"

"No, bored.  I find you too boring to live."

"Fine.  Then let Potter come forward.  We'll duel."

"Harry?" Xander asked.

"Sure."  Harry stepped forward, looking him over.  "Ron, be my second."

"Always, Harry.  If you fall, he's mine."  He moved into the correct position, waiting with arms crossed and his wand drawn.  The evil git would try something.  It was almost a given.  Ron watched as the forms were observed, then Harry turned.  He winced as his first one bounced off the Dark Lord, and he got to duck his.  Ron ducked it too.  A hand on his shoulder stopped him from stepping in.  "I'll have to," Ron told him.

"It's an honorable battle so far.  The first misstep he makes frees you to act," Snape reminded him.  He watched as they went back and forth.  "Not an unforgivable," he muttered.

"Harry won't," Ro hissed.  "He's honorable."  He snickered as the gold hair came back into existence.  "Nice shot, Harry," he cheered.  "Remember his hand."

Harry gave the Dark Lord a small smirk.  "Ready to give in yet?"

"I will get you yet," he sneered.  "You are but a boy."

"Yay me.  Youth, energy, and experience.  What a combination.  You know, if you had left me alone, I wouldn't be such a threat to you," he said, casting a shield.  The cruciatus mostly bounced off, he got a little pain from it.  He saw Voldemort's second moving and hit both of them with a wide-angle nausea hex.

"Very nice," Voldemort admitted reluctantly.  "Someone taught you very well."  He looked at Snape.  "You?"  Snape shrugged and gave him a bland look. "I told you to prepare him to meet me, not to be a challenge."

"I'm afraid that's my fault," Xander told him.   "I've taught Harry many things since we got back together."  He beamed.  "Show him, Harry.  That one I taught you yesterday."

"Tradenis!" Harry cast, making the Dark Lord howl as the demonic magic hit him.  "Gee, it worked," he said happily, grinning at the Dark Lord. "See?  I like my great-uncle."

"Don't you mean son?" Voldemort wheezed as he stood back up.

"No, I'm his son, Harry's his grandson," Snape told him.  "Since I've found that out, so much is explained in my nature."

"He is?" Des asked Xander.

Xander nodded.   "Even I can mess up fertility charms.  Remember that, Ron.  It happens even to me."

"Oh, I can take that lesson," Ron agreed.  "I don't want a kid like him."

"You had better," the twins said in unison.  "Mum would kill you if you knocked her up already."

Voldemort hissed, "This is not a floor show!  Shut up!"  He cast at them.  That broke the rules of honorable combat and it was on.  Des fired the first shot, followed by Xander and Luna at the demons.   Voldemort screamed in pain as Harry cast the cruciatus.  "How could you!"

"Easy, I owe you for my parents, my friends, and some of my sanity," Harry yelled.  He moved forward, casting another, and another, and a third until Voldemort was out of breath and bleeding on the snow, and still he got back up . "I owe you for ruining my life and that of many others," he sneered.  "I will have your head as a trophy.  I've already picked out a spot for it on the school's walls.  I'm sure you'll enjoy it.  It's in Hufflepuff."

Voldemort shrieked in outrage.  "How dare you associate me with those imbeciles!"

"Hey!" Dawn shouted from behind them.  "Some of us aren't imbeciles, thank you.  Just because some of us care more about clothes than fighting and honor doesn't make us dumb.  It makes us happy!"  She pointed.  "Faith, the demons, Buffy, Angel, Spike, with her.  Wesley, Ethan, Tara, Cordy, Fred, take on anyone you can."  She looked behind her as the aurors started to appear.  "They're down there," she called, pointing at them.  Someone grabbed her arm and moved her out of the way.  "Buffy, he's threatening me now.  I can fight, you taught me that much."

"Move your ass back to the school," Xander warned, glaring at her.  "I told you to protect your house."

"And I did.  They're in Gryffindor."  She gave him a steady look.  "I'm not helpless.  My powers are calling out for me to be here.  Shouldn't you be right behind Harry?"

He bound her and sent her back to the greenhouses, then ran back to the battle with a battle cry.

"Remind me to spank Dawn," Ron told Harry, who was back-to-back with him against some of the older Death Eeaters.  There were more than a few of them who were their size.  More of their schoolmates had been called as well.  They were the ones shooting the non- killing and annoyance hexes and jinxes.  Someone roared and came at Ron with a large hammer, hitting him on the head.

"Ron!" Harry shouted, hitting the demon in the chest and knocking it apart from the blow.  Someone floated Ron out of the way and Harry didn't have time to check him.  Someone was taking care of that on the boundaries.  He went after the next person in line, teaming up with Snape since his partner had just caught a stupify to the chest.  "They all die," he ground out as they cast at the others.  "They hurt Ron."

"Calm yourself.  Anger on the field only works if you lose yourself in it," Snape warned.  He heard a whoop behind him and dared to glance back.  Tonks was back.  Sandburg should be back soon.  "Get Sandburg back to the school," he called.  "He'll be here soon.  Have him man the infirmary!"

Ethan was off chanting in his corner.  He was summoning a demon he wanted help from.  It was a long summoning but he had time.

Draco fell with a scream and the Weasleys immediately removed him from danger to try and revive him.  They knew what was going to happen next.

Xander let out a primal scream from the depths of his soul and rushed the enemy, making it not only through their line but making a big hole in it before he turned and started to work back in the other direction.  They had hurt his mate!  "My mate!" he snarled as he attacked again and again.  He noticed Faith laying on the ground and sent her out of his way with a thought.   He went after the older death eaters, the experienced ones.  One of them had hit his mate, he knew it was them.

"Someone revive Malfoy!" Bill Weasley yelled.  "Alex is going nuts!"

"As long as he hurts the other side," Ron said dryly, walking up behind him.  "Target?"

"Pick one," Bill ordered.  Ron nodded and lunged back into the fray, punching and hitting at some of the students.

"Ron!" Harry called happily.  "Wand?  Magic?"

"Fuck magic, this deserves knuckles," Ron snarled, grinning meanly at him.

Blair appeared on the field behind them, on a slight rise.  Behind him another form was gagging on the ground.  "I told you to stand clear," he said as he hauled him up.  "Move out of the way, Ray.  This is getting dirty.  Where am I?" he called.

"Which are the bad guys?" Ray asked.  He saw a familiar face and sneered.  "Oh, you're still living," he said, putting on his glasses and pulling his gun.  He fired a shot at Methos, hitting him in the leg.

"No, not him!  He's on our side.  Hit the idiots in the masks," Blair ordered, pointing at them.  He went to where the injured were, sending a quick 'ennervate' into Draco's chest.  "Your mate's one baby step this side of beserking," he noted.  He ran down into the battle.  Jim would be proud of him, he kept his head and didn't panic in the least.  Ray continued to fire on some of them from his safe spot.

Draco's yell of 'mom!' echoed around the field.

"You really are a momma's boy, aren't you?" Ron sneered at him.

"Yes, I am," Draco said as he struggled to stand.  "Give me a clear view."  He leaned on Arthur as he limped off to the side.  He could feel the dirty energy coming off most of the death eaters and junior death eaters.  It would sustain him until he could kick his mate's ass for getting in his way.  He started to suck, rejuvenating his powers. It felt good, like the best feast he had ever had.  He started to swell, then looked at Ethan.  "Begging for help and a quick way out?" he called.

"Calling for help," Ethan told him.  "Eat more of them, Malfoy, it can only help."

Xander's mother appeared with Anyanka, her shriek echoing around them and bringing a temporary halt to the fighting.  "Who dares touch my son!" she demanded.

Snape looked at Xander.  "I thought your mother was dead."

"No, she's the demon over Vengeance for Women Hurt By Men."  He looked at his mother.  "Mom, no offense, but we're in the middle of a battle here.  Sure, they're whiny plonkers who don't know what a dick is for, but you can't hurt them outside your job and we really don't need your boss here at this moment in time."

"You're hurt," Anyanka said, glaring at him.  "Who dares hurt that which is mine!" she shouted.  "Only I get to hurt Xander!"

"Shut up, bitch, he's mine now," Draco sneered.  He noticed two Rons and frowned.  "Tara, I think you need to lend Potter a hand and figure out which Weasley is real."

The nicer Ron looked at him and shrugged.  "All I know is this big hammer hit me on the head."

"Tara, he's been hit by Toth," Xander called.

"Coming."  She came over to clear them back.  "Clear the field," she ordered quietly.  "Faith's dead."  Xander nodded.  "Try to live, Xander.  I'd miss you."

Ethan felt an answer hit him, making him flinch and grow.  He stood up straighter and looked around.  "Who needed an ass kicking?" he snarled. Luna squealed and bounced over to hug him.  "Kicking ass now, princess, cuddles later," he reminded her.

Xander's mother looked at him.  "Welcome to the family."  A younger death eater yelled out a scream and cast a hex, restarting the battle.  "Fine, be that way!" she said, starting off on them.  There were many here who she could call rights on.

Tara got Ron back together again then set him on the ground beside Draco.  "Keep each other company.  I'll go guard Harry."

"Tara, love, no offense, but you're not exactly a battle witch," Ron said, struggling to stand up.  "Help my mum.  She could use it."   He made it to his feet and nearly fell again when Draco pulled himself up on him. "I'm not your bloody fence, Malfoy!" he said angrily, shoving him off.  "Climb up Tara!"  He stomped off, going back to Harry's side.  He hit the person coming up behind him, then glanced around.  "We're down most of the adults except Xander.  He's hurt," he said as he joined in, letting Harry catch his breath.  Harry simply nodded.  He was starting to get really tired.  "Is the guy dead?"

"He is," Harry agreed.  "I should chop off his head to make sure."  He saw another Ron heading his way and looked at him.  "I thought you were fixed!"

"I am fixed," Ron said with a smirk, raising his wand.

"Stupify!" Methos cast, stunning the fake Ron.  The real one limped closer.  "Both of you fall back.  Chop up the body later."  He rubbed the newly healed spot on his leg.  "Fight now, revenge later, boys."

Harry nodded and turned back to the fight.  He hated this he decided.  How Xander had stood doing this for so long he wasn't sure but he never wanted to do this again.  "How's Dawn?"

"Bodybound and in a greenhouse," Des said as she moved past them, blocking a curse being thrown their way.  She fell with a mild scream of pain and was gone.

Xander's growl echoed around them as he waded back in.  Bill Weasley, Ron, Harry, and Charlie Weasley were right behind him, and the aurors followed the wedge into the middle of the other side.  They were getting ones to the sides, keeping the line open.  Behind them, Severus Snape was taking out the left sideline again.  The rest of the Weasleys were taking out the right side, where the injured were.  The demons were now gone.  Ethan was still feasting on one's insides at the encouragement of Xander's mother.  The line was slowly breaking when a shriek broke around them, and silence fell.  Absolute stillness.  Even the injured quit groaning.

"What is going on here?" Willow demanded.  She looked at Xander, who leaned on Bill's shoulder.  "You're injured."  She looked at Buffy, who had a few good gashes as well.  "So are you."  She looked around. "Where's Dawn?"

"Safe," Xander told her.  "You gonna help them or us, Rosenburg?"

"Xander, I swear I'm not evil," she reminded him.

Ethan picked her up by grabbing her head to look at her.  "She is sane again," he pronounced, putting her back down.  "Sorry, I had to ascend.  Luna likes me this way."

"I'm sure Wes will try to kill you at least once," she sneered.  She looked around.  "What is going on here?"

"Easy, Wills.  The guys in the masks are the bad guys who torture and kill other wizards and witches like Harry's parents," Buffy told her, plucking a wand out of someone's hand.  That's a really puny stake.  This," she said, pulling her own, "is a stake."  She shoved it in his chest and he fell down, bleeding heavily.

"Stake," he groaned, looking at Spike.  All he could see was the blond hair.  He thought it was a Malfoy.

"No, he's a Spike," Buffy said facetiously.  She grinned at Spike.  "You okay?  Your jacket's ripped," she said, moving to help him.  "Willow, are you gonna join in or keep most of them frozen?" she demanded.  "If this keeps going on, it'll never end."

Willow nodded.  "Only those in the masks?"

"Some of them were spies," Xander told her.

"Then I'll judge intent."

Xander walked up and got into her face.  "Sometimes the spies have to do bad things to fit in.  Sometimes they even change their minds," he hissed.  "Hurt my son and die."

She swallowed, seeing Xander for the scary being others did finally.  "I'd never hurt him," she whispered, touching his bloody cheek.  "Your mate lives, Xander.  I can feel him."  She moved around him and raised her head.  "Pain!" she yelled, and the majority of the Death Eaters fell over.  Her hair started to flow black and her eyes started to lose their natural color as well.  "We will party now," she told them, sneering at them.

"I've had enough of that," Snape decided, knocking her out from behind.  He looked at Potter.  "It is your call when this ends."

"It ends here," Harry said firmly, loud enough to be heard.  The aurors moved in and chained anyone in a mask on the ground.  Harry sat down, looking at his bloody hands and his ripped jeans. He didn't realize he was in a puddle of blood but he didn't much care.   He looked at Snape.  "Does that mean you're my uncle?" he asked.  Snape nodded, giving him a dirty look.  "I guess that's fine.  Can I opt out of potions?"

"Yes, you will," Snape agreed.  "I'll file the removal paperwork later."  He looked around, not spotting Xander.  "Alex!"

"Des," he croaked, unbending to look over at him.  "She saved Harry and Ron."  He looked down at her again, closing her eyes for her.  Harry stood up and came over to help him up but he brushed Harry off and stood, looking at the dead bodies.  "We should torch them so they can escort her and be her slaves on the other side."

"Not before they're identified and named," one of the aurors told him, getting in his way.  "Take her home, Mr. Dumass.  Take her and your consort home and prepare her."

Xander nodded, picking her up. He headed home, putting her out in the study.  He summoned the family.  "She died getting between Harry and Ron and a curse thrown at them.  Prepare her.  I need to get back there and check on Harry, Ron, and Draco."  He disappeared in a muted flash of light, heading back to the field.  Draco found him first, holding him still so he could check him over.  "I'm fine."

"You're not!  You've got horrible cuts in at least three places and your fucking bloody!" Draco said hotly.  "Potter, Weasley, home, now."

Ron shook his head.  "I need to check on Dawn."

"I'll check on her," his mother promised.  "We're taking the injured back to the school anyway."  She looked at Xander and Draco.  "You could both use some time there as well."

Xander opened his mouth, then he slowly sank to his knees crying.  "I can't."

"You can," Draco announced.  "Cordy will handle it for you.  We'll go back once we're both patched up."  Xander looked at him.  "They'll have enough to worry about without your injuries as well," he said quietly.

Aunt Cordy apparated in and gasped.  "Alex."  She ran over, pulling him up to check him over.  "Shit, you're injured.  Draco?"  He held out his hands, wobbling some.  "Fine, you take him to be treated first, then you come home.  You can return to classes in another four days."  Draco nodded.  "Alex, I'm sorry," she said quietly.  He looked at her.  "It was how she would have wanted it but I'm sorry."

He nodded.  "You're right.  Her and Faith both."  He looked at the covered bodies.  Then he looked at Draco, wobbling slightly.  "I think I could use a good pepper up potion," he admitted.

"You need stitches," Draco ranted as he got Xander sitting again.  "Help the others, Cordy."

"Of course."  She went to help Molly.  "I checked your house, it's still standing," she said quietly.  "Most of it.  The top floor's fallen off."  Molly sighed and nodded.  "It'll be easily fixed.  The ghoul was howling in outrage but it should be fine."

"Thank you, Ancordina."

"You're welcome, Molly.  Let's get them back to the school."  She looked around.  "No Dumbledore?"

"He was guarding the school," Arthur noted, coming over.  He was limping as well and one arm was frozen.  "I'll head back first to have him lower the barrier."  His wife nodded and he headed back, going up the driveway.  He was the least injured of the Order. He found the Minister for Magic standing in the doorway beside Dumbledore and McGonagall.  "It's done," he announced.  "We need to remove the injured and dead."  Dumbledore swallowed and he lowered the apparation barrier.  Molly and Aunt Cordy started the bodies coming, letting them handle getting them up there.  Even that nice muggle was helping.

The Minister for Magic stopped Ray.  "How did you get here?"

"I was with Sandburg.  The trouble magnet brought me," he said dryly.  "Do I need to hand in my gun for ballistics analysis?"

"No, that's not necessary.  We thank you for your help.  May I send you back?"

"Send him back to where Greg works," Snape said as he led Potter up the driveway.  Dumbledore looked at him.  "Minor hexes, mostly exhaustion," he explained.  "He's not a priority."

"I'll take him with me up to Gryffindor," the Minister offered.  "That way he can be unhexed by his friends."  Harry moaned and shook his head.  "You deserve a good lie- down," he offered.

"I'm a figurehead, I need to be here," Harry said quietly, leaning against the building.  "I'm wiped, but I have to put on a good show. Then I'll nap for a few days."  He nodded at Ron as he walked past him.  "Check him for a head injury.  Something named a Toth hit him with a big hammer and made two of him temporarily."  The headmaster helped carry more people inside while Harry counted them.  Half of their side was injured.  There were at least ten dead that he had seen.  Probably more coming.  He watched the Minister keep his own count.  "Madam Pomfrey could probably use some help," he pointed out.

"I brought the emergency team from St. Mungos up," he admitted.  "She's got four more mediwitches and at least eight other healers."  He looked at the Dumass contingent.  "Are you all right, Alex?"

"No," he admitted.

"He'll live but we'll be taking a few days off for a family funeral," Draco said calmly.  "Right now, I'm going to get him cleaned up and take care of him myself."

"That's fine, boys.  Was it as bad as you expected?"  Xander shrugged.  "You didn't know?"

"I didn't dare guess.  Saying it's going to be bad would have made it worse.  I'm guess we're lucky we didn't get Mom's boss in there to help us but still."  He looked around, then back at Harry.  "Dawn?"

"Probably still in the greenhouse," he admitted.  "Get cleaned up and checked out.  Draco, do you need into the Prefect's bathroom?"

"I know the password," Draco reminded him, heading that way.  Cleaning first, then wound care.  He could probably do most of it himself.  His head was swimming but he needed to do this.  His soul was screaming at him to get revenge for each cut and ache his mate had.  Making sure he was fine would calm him down again.   He saw Greg and winced.  He was unconscious.  He didn't look good.  He touched his arm, calling Emilia to tell her Greg was back at the school and that he needed her.  She apparated in and ran up to him, hugging him hard.  "We won," he told her.

She looked at him.  "Barely," she reminded him.

Xander rolled his head that way.  "It could have been much worse and we still would have won.  We were defending and defense is always better than offense."  She nodded, letting them go so she could take care of her own mate.  She would keep her own council on the subject.

Molly came back with the last person from the battle on their side, Willow.  "What did you want to do with her?  Severus knocked her out because she was going dark."

"Put her in my office and have a house elf guard her," Dumbledore ordered.  She nodded, floating the girl that way.  Dumbledore went to help with the injured.  He noticed some people were already missing and walked up to where Arthur was.  "Ron?"

"Upstairs.  His head's fine."  He looked at him.  "Percy's been moved to the main hospital.  I didn't know he had come with the aurors."  Dumbledore gave him a pat.  "Once I make sure the others are fine, I'm going to sit with him."

"Go now, Arthur, I'll check them for you," Tipsy said as she limped in.  "The twins are in Xander's bed at the moment with the babies.  They're fine, minor injuries only.  I'll send the others that way as well."  Arthur gave her a hug and left.  Tipsy leaned against the wall.  "All Weasleys, we're in Hufflepuff, in Alex's room.  As soon as you're done, go join the twins."  Bill and Charlie both looked over and nodded.  "Good.  Poppy, can I help?"

"Get your ass back into bed," someone yelled.  "You're a week post birth!"

"Yes, Severus," Tipsy called, heading back that way.  She met Molly.  "Bill and Charlie are standing, Ron's fine, the twins are in Alex's room with the babies.  Percy's in St. Mungos and your husband went to his side." Molly started to cry.  "Go find him, sweets, he needs you more.  You can hug the others once you're sure the injured are fine."  Molly nodded and headed off, going to the hospital.  Tipsy continued on her trek, finding Malfoy's two goons standing at the bottom of the stairs.  "They're in the prefect's bathroom," she said quietly.  "I think he'll be happy to see you."

"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley," Goyle said, heading that way at a run.  It must be bad, Draco hadn't called for them.  He had to know they weren't there.  He got there first and pounded on the painting until the door opened.  "Draco," he said, hugging him.  "You're all right."

"Get off," he said tolerantly, giving him a faint smile. "I'm more worried about my mate.  He's got a few deeper cuts we're closing now."  He let them come in and help him.  Xander was napping and he wouldn't care anyway.

"Wow, he is well-built," Crabbe noted.

Draco gave him a look.  Then he nodded and grinned.  "And I'll be enjoying it later to make sure he's fine." Xander moaned and shifted so he went back to his scrubbing.   "I don't know whose blood this is, but it's not his."

They nodded, getting in to help him scrub off the other blood.  Real friends helped with the clean up as well as the fight.

***

Xander looked over as his brother Justinius walked into his study.  "You're early," he noted.

"I wanted to see Holly before the funeral," he said quietly.  He looked his brother over.  "You look well.  Why are you using Dad's cane?"

"Twenty-seven stitches on my thigh from a cutting hex," Xander said dryly, putting down his pen and closing his journal, sealing it so no one could read it.  He stood up and grabbed the cane.  "I ache.  Dad understood that."

"I'm not criticizing, merely asking," Justinius defended.  He watched Xander walk.  "You look very comfortable with that thing."

"I've had to use one in the past," Xander admitted.   He led the way upstairs, knocking on Dawn's door.  "Is Holly with you?"  Holly opened the door.  "Your dad's here to see you."

"Hi, dad, come in.  Meet Dawn, she's the newest little sister."  She smiled at Xander.  "Aren't you changing?"  He nodded, pointing at his room.  "Thanks."  She blew a kiss and closed the door.  "Whew.  Draco's been in a foul mood and Xander's been picking up on it," she said quietly.

"His consort's not supporting him?"

"He is, but there's been some snarking.  Mel came back early."  He nodded wisely.  "Draco locked her in the cellar last night, her mouth was sealed shut and her hands and feet were bound."  She sat down again, going back to doing Dawn's hair for her.  "Dad, this is Dawn.  Dawn, this is my dad, he's Xander's older brother Justinius."  She waved listlessly.  "Ron's been mad at her for nearly fighting."

"Sometimes you have to fight," he noted, sitting down near her.  "How are you liking your adoptive family?"

She looked at him.  "I can hear your thoughts," she noted.  "Xander is the only family I have outside of my sister the vampire."  He backed off.  "Thank you."  She pinned up the next roller.  "Are you sure it's appropriate?  It's a funeral."

"Yes, but Ron will be there and he'll want you to be around him later when he sees you've been trying," Holly assured him.  "It's that way among us, dear."  She fixed the last curler and stood up.  "There.  Come on, Dad, let's go down to the kitchen.  Aunt Cordy's been helping at the school since the battle so I've been in charge of the kitchens."  She led the way down there, stopping to give Ginny a hug.  "It's all right, precious.  Percy will be fine."

She shook her head.  "We still can't be sure," she admitted.  "I'll go see him during the wake."  She went out to her friends to feed them and to vent some more tears on them.  They understood.

"A Weasley?"

"We had a unicorn mare and her tainted colt come onto the property, Ginny's been helping with them," Holly told him.  "None of the rest of us are pure enough to do that."  She stopped her father in the hallway.  "I know you're not my father.  Who is?  Is it family?"  He shook his head.  "Are you certain?"

"Very," he said quietly.  "How did you know?"

"I'm just like mom, not you.  The rest of us are just like you.  Also, I won't have you upsetting Alex.  He's taken this really hard.  If you upset him, he'll leave for a while and someone will go insane in his absence.  I can almost guarantee it."  She let him go.  "Thank you.  It's come out that Sev is a bit closer related and I wanted to make sure."

"I have no problems with Severus, dear."

"Even though he's Alex's son?" Draco asked as he walked up behind them.  He gave Holly a hug.  "He's fussing upstairs with his lint brush."

"He's under a lot of stress," she pointed out gently.  "Alex is changing."

"He's in the bath.  I'm bringing him some cocoa."  He continued past them, heading in to make his mate something for his nerves.  He looked at Ginny's usual spot in the kitchen and found it empty.  "Have to do something about that as well," he muttered as he worked.  "Maybe Emilia can bring him back into his head."

"She's tried," Xander's older sister Katya noted.  "She said he's closer."  She came over to give him a hug.  "Treat my brother well or you will face me in single combat, no dueling."  He smiled and nodded.  "Good.  I think I'm going to take over Alex's place in the Gringott's lineup for a while.  One of us should do the work."  She went out to check on the chairs and things.   Dumass funerals were silent things.  No speeches, nothing of the sort.  They all sat there and stared at the body to make sure it wasn't going to wake up again, looked at the person's picture, then watched as they were lowered into the family cemetery. This time, the painting was in shock as well.  She had imbued it again the night before the battle.  She had known it was going to be soon.  She saw Severus come out and nodded him over.  "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," he said quietly.  "Thank you for your concern."

"This family may be odd, but we're very tight," she reminded him.  "Unless you're like Mel and Justinius," she added for good measure.  "Then they stick together like glue to protect each other from the rest of us."  He gave her a half-smile.  "When are we expecting the Weasleys?"

"A little later.  I had no idea Molly was a cousin."

"The lines converge a lot," she pointed out, straightening another row.  "Help me?"

He pulled his wand and cast the charm to make the rows neat and even, like he did in his room each morning.  "There."  He put it back up his sleeve and went to find Ginny.  He found her crying on the colt's back.  "Your parents will be here soon," he said quietly.  She looked at him, wiping her cheeks.  "Emilia was trying to help him as well."

She nodded.  "I know.  I've already thanked her."  She gave the wet spot a pat with her shirt, then gave both unicorns a hug before going to change.  "Thank you, Professor."  She found Charlie waiting for her in her room.  "Hi," she said weakly.

"Percy's awake but not very aware.  He thinks he's a fifth year," he said, giving her a faint smile.  "He's back to his old self as well."

"I'm sure Mom will fix it," she said firmly.  "Do you miss your friends when you have to leave them?"  He nodded, giving her a hug.  "I'll miss the unicorns when I go back tomorrow."

"I know, Ginny, but they're smart and I'm sure they'll be here for a bit longer.  You can come back during the holidays."  She bucked up at that, giving him a brighter smile.  "Get changed, you smell like you cuddled up to them again."

"They're very understanding."

"They should be.  Unicorns are wise creatures."  He messed up her hair.  "I'll be downstairs.  Come find me when you're presentable."  She nodded and he let himself out, locking the door behind himself.  He looked in on the twins.  They were asleep, each with a baby against his chest.  "Aww."  He came in to steal the wiggling babies, taking them down to grandma and grandpa.  "They drove the twins to nap.  Ginny's getting changed."

Molly took them, hugging them both.  "Good morning, Joxer and Iolaus."  Their mother had gotten the twins hooked on that show and the names had stuck, even though she hadn't liked it.  It was nice that Joxer was the girl but still.  "Did you drive your fathers to a nap?"

"They probably drive them to many naps," Arthur said as he stole Joxer to hold.  He loved the little girl.  She was exactly like Ginny in her youth and Ginny had always been his favorite.  "Have you been changed recently?"

"I'm sure she's fine," Molly said patiently.  She smiled as Ginny walked in.  "That's a nice robe, dear."

"Luna lent it to me.  She's outgrown it," Ginny said as she sat down.  She wiggled her fingers at both twins.  "Did you find anything out?"

"I did actually," Arthur admitted.  "I talked with my Great-Aunt and we pulled out the original birth chart together.  Your name was on there, in the folded-off side.  It seems a few generations back had a cousin who was a thief and we kicked him out.  We even made him change his name.  You're from his line.  The last of it in fact.  Apparently his family had been attacked by Death Eaters and you were given to us by the one who was never confirmed dead."  Ginny nodded, looking at her hands.  "So that makes you a Weasley, just one removed twice from the boys."

She gave him a gentle smile.  "I can accept that I guess.  Charlie's influenced me enough that I want to work with unicorns."

"Good girl," Arthur said happily.  "I'm sure you'll adore it."

"Thanks, dad."

"You're welcome, dear."  He held up his free arm so she got up and came over to cuddle into his side.  "You have always been my little girl and you will stay that way," he reminded her.  He removed Joxer's lips from his tie so she'd quit gumming it.  "None of that, Joxer.  Ties don't taste good.  You need the mother to eat."

"She's in the bathroom down here getting dressed," Ginny told him.  "How did you steal them?"

"Charlie said they were napping."  She looked around but Charlie must have slipped out.  "That boy," she said, shaking her head.

"He went to look at the unicorns," Luna said as she walked in.  "I saw him in the garden staring in their cave."  She sat next to Ginny, smiling at Arthur.  "Any good news on Percy?"

"He's awake but he's lost some memories," Arthur told her.  "He thinks he's a fifth year."

"Let's hope not.  I remember he was a bit of a prat as a Prefect," Luna told him.  "Told me I was going wrong my first year because I took a wrong turn down a hall.  Insinuated that I was dumb as well."

Molly nodded.  "Percy was not always tolerant when he had power."  She looked over as Xander came down the stairs in black velvet, giving him a tentative smile.  "Come sit with us, Alex.  You look done in."

"I haven't been sleeping well," he admitted as he joined them.  "Hi, Ginny, Luna."  He nodded at Arthur as well.  "I see they're up."

"That means they'll sleep through the funeral," Luna pointed out gently.  "Did you want Ethan to come?"

"He can come if he wants, but he has to appear human."

"I'll pass that on," she promised, going to do that.

Molly held out Iolaus.  "Would you like to hold him?"

"I get hives from babies," Xander told her, giving her a faint smile.  "Are you picking up her spot?"

"No, simply wanting to know if you needed a cuddle."  She placed the baby back in her lap.  Tipsy walked past the door.  "We have the younger set," she called.

Tipsy backtracked and came in to look at them.  "Wore your fathers out again?" she asked.  They gurgled an cooed at her.  "I'll let them sleep for a bit longer since you two are so happy there."  She looked at Molly.  "I've got the carriers in the kitchen so we can tie them down for the funeral."

"That's a good idea," Ginny agreed.  "Luna thought they might sleep during it."

Tipsy kissed her on the top of the head.  "I can only hope they'll sleep sometime soon."  She looked at Alex.  "I'm sorry if they're keeping you up."

"No, they're the highlight of my nights," he admitted.  She sat down beside him and gave him a hug.  "Thanks."

Draco walked in with a mug of cocoa.  "I would have come up."

"I needed to greet the guests," he said as he took the mug.  "Thank you, Draco."

Draco gave him a quick kiss.  "I will be there with you, Xander.  I'm not leaving.   Nor am I dying.   I won't let you get up and go talk to the twins or the family paintings tonight."  He walked away, heading to check on everything.  As the less-powerful member of their relationship it made him the hostess.  The food for the wake was laid out in the dining room.  No one had nibbled yet, they had stuck with the vegetable tray he had made up and put in the kitchen for that purpose.  He stole a celery stick himself to nibble while he checked the house.  He found two house elves cleaning the library.  "Shelve the books," he ordered quietly.  "Keep the door closed if possible."  They nodded and went back to work.  They were going to have to do something about the extra house elves.  Even having one milking and taking care of the cows, they only needed four.  The extra three had to go somewhere.  He saw the three youngest together and walked over to take them into Xander's study.  "We have a problem," he told them.  "There are too many of you."  They nodded, they had complained about not having any work to do.  "We would be willing to support your move to another family.  I figure you three are younger and formerly from my family so it should be you three."  They nodded again.  "Do you know of one who needs one?  I'll have Alex contact them."

"Babies," one squeaked.  It was male but it sounded like it was female.

Draco nodded.  "An excellent idea.  Would you accept being gifted?"  It nodded quickly.  He smiled at it and looked at the other two.  "What about you two?"

"School?" one suggested.  "Messy like Dobby."  Draco looked stunned but eventually nodded.  "Really?"

"I'll talk to him today, after the funeral," Draco promised.  "Put a bow around your necks.  Tell the others to use black ribbons.  You use blue," he said, pointing at the one going to the Ramvette-Weasley household.  "You use dark red," he said, pointing at the one going to try and hit on Dobby.  "And you, do you have a preference?"

"My mistress needs me," she sniffled.  "Shes is all alone without Fluffy."

"Then I'll send you back to Mother," he told her.  She nodded.  "Come to me later tonight, wear a black bow like the others for now."  She nodded.  "Dismissed."  They ran off, back to their chores.  He went to find Alex, finding him staring out the window of the dining room.  "I've talked to the extra elves."  Xander looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "One wants to live with twins and their children, one wants to marry Dobby, and one wants to go live with my mother again."  Xander shrugged. "Is that all right with you?"

"That's fine with me," Xander agreed.  "Thank you for handling it, Draco."

Draco hugged his back.  "It's what spouses do, Xander.  We handle things.  I can do more than threaten people for you."  That got a dry chuckle.  "The Daily Prophet will not be here today.  Under penalty of me sending Potter to work out his rage on them."

Xander turned around, shutting the door so they could have some privacy.  "I don't want you to become my wife."  Draco looked instantly insulted.  "You're my *husband*, not my *wife*," he reminded him.  "All that's wifely stuff."

"And I wanted to do it to ease the burden on you," Draco reminded him.  "I have no problems.  I will tell you if you're imposing on me."  Xander slumped a little.  "I didn't have to, Xander, I volunteered.  In another three days, we're going to go back to school and Aunt Cordy will take care of all that."  Someone knocked on the door and he flicked his wand at it to open it.  "Yes?" he asked Katya.

"Bows?"

"Bows.  It dresses them up and lets them express their grief as well."

"Okay.  We usually only do that at the holidays."

"It'll make them feel better," Draco said with a shrug.  "It also lets me know the two who have figured out where they want to go."

"Can I have one when I go?" she asked, giving him a little grin.

"Katya, you're going to be traveling, house elves need a stable environment," Xander reminded her.  "Besides, Gringotts will give you and Bill one if he asks."

"Okay."  She went to talk to him about that.

Xander looked at Draco.  "I don't make you feel like my wife?"  Draco shook his head.  "Not in the least?"

"Not in the least.  I may play bottom for you but I'm not the bloody wife," Draco said with a touch of humor.  "I'll let you know in my own subtle way if you're verging on it."

"Coming in dressed as a drag queen?" Dawn asked as she interrupted them.  "Buffy's awake."

"If we could, we'd let her come outside too," Xander reminded her.

"I've figured that part out.  There's a shielded visitors section.  Can they stand out there?"  Xander nodded.  "Thanks.  Spike wanted to come as well.  Said he remembered Grandma Des fondly in his youth."  She shrugged.  "Whatever that means."

"He was the William who broke her heart?" Draco asked.  Xander and Dawn both looked at him.  "She told me a story about her time in school, how she had a raging crush on a really nice boy but he ignored her until she finally cornered him to try something on him.  He turned her down gently but he did turn her down. She went to her husband in reaction to William dumping her."

"Wow," Xander said dryly.  "Small world."  He put an arm around Draco's shoulders.  "Come on, let's check everything else."

"I've already done that," Dawn announced. "Bows?"

"Bows," Draco agreed.  "My idea."

"Okay then.  Is that, like, from the gaydar?"  Draco growled and she grinned.  "I had to ask.  You're the only decorating gay man I know."  She walked off, going to check on her future family.  She saw Ron stuffed in a corner of the couch with both babies and walked in to sit with him, taking one for him.  "Good morning, mini drool factory."

Ron snorted and kissed her on the cheek.  "I'm not mad at you," he said quietly.  She gave him a look and he grinned a bit.  "You look really nice."

"Thank you.  Holly helped me so I could lock us in a closet later."

"Hmm.  Not while my parents are here.  They'll get really upset and demand one of these wankers from us."  He turned the boy around, showing his messy shirt.  "I don't know what he did and I'm not sure I want to."  They stared at the orange stain for a bit, both wondering what it was.

One of the twins came running down the stairs.  "Babies?" he called.

"We've got them," Dawn yelled.  He came in and stole them both.  "Their carriers are in the kitchen once you've got them cleaned up again."  She stood up and pulled Ron with her, leading him away.  She nodded at Molly.  "One of the dads is up.  He's got both of them and is taking them back up the stairs."  Molly sighed and went to help the poor babies survive another changing attempt by their fathers.  Both twins were afraid of diapers and diaper pins.   The things kept falling off the babies.

Draco sidled up to Tipsy, giving her a nudge and pulling her away from Emilia.  "You know we have too many house elfs?"  She nodded.  "One of them wants to come work for you.  It begged very nicely for us to allow him to come work for you."  She opened her mouth.  "We're gifting it as a baby present. He's wearing the blue bow," he said quietly.  "Complain and I'll tie you down myself and won't give the twins the unlocking charm."  He walked off smugly, sure he was being nice.  Xander gave him a look and he shrugged.  What did he know about giving baby presents?

Xander moved up behind Snape since he was talking to the Headmaster, giving him a nudge on the arm.  "May I cut in?"  Snape nodded, shifting over. "One of our extra house elfs seems to have a crush on one of the school ones," he said quietly.  "We're not going to stand in the path of true love.  Would that be all right with you?"

"I think that would be fine," Dumbledore assured him.  "We can use one more.  Which elf does it have the crush on?"

"Dobby," Draco said from behind Xander.  He walked around him.  "She'll be wearing the red bow and I told her we'd talk to you on her behalf."  He heard a house elf wailing and crying on someone and frowned.  "Stop that," he called.  The house elf stopped.  "Now is not the time for that."  He walked over there, pointing at the study.  "Sit in there and do nothing!"  It walked in there and sat down, sulking.  He cleared his throat.  "Sorry about that, mother.  Fluffy would like to go home with you."

"I noticed," she admitted.  "Why?"

"Because we have seven including ours."

"Ah."  She nodded.  "I could use him.  The one I have presently doing my hair is rather inadequate to the task."

He walked around her, taking down her hair and redoing it quickly for her from much practice helping Dawn do hers.  "Had to do your own this morning?"  She nodded as he put the clip back in place.  "There, now you look respectable."  He closed the study door, looking back at his mate.  "It would be fine with us if you took Fluffy back."

"Thank you, son."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "You look happy and content.  Very much the second head of the manor."  He nodded, taking her arm to walk her over to his consort's side.  "Alexander," she said, kissing him on the cheek.

"Narcissa."  He hugged her.  "Thank you for coming."

"I respected your grandmother.  She kept me informed of what naughtiness my son was doing with you."   She twitched Draco's collar flatter.  "There, perfect now."  She looked around, noticing Molly coming in with children.  "War orphans?"

"The twin's twins," Draco said, giving them a fond smile.  "They like to wake up while I'm trying to sleep in."  She chuckled and patted his cheek. "I know, that is how children are.  That is why I never really wanted any."  He took Xander's hand.  "He was worried about me becoming the lady of the manor, mother."

She snorted and shook her head.  "Not likely.  Draco likes his order too much.  He'd never put up with the chaos of throwing a party, all the details would get to him."

"He did very well with this one," Xander said, giving his mate a proud look.  "Draco is exactly the mate I needed and wanted."

"Good, because you get rid of him over my bruised and fighting body," Dawn said as she walked over.  "Hi, Mrs. Malfoy.  How is France?"

"Calm," she noted.  "And you are?"

"Oh, I'm Dawn Summers-Dumass.  I'm Xander's adopted little sister."  She shook her hand.  "I'm also Ron's girlfriend."

"Wonderful.  Do you need pointers on how to use a leash?"

Dawn snickered and shook her head.  "Not in the least.  His mother house trained him for me."

"Hey!" Ron complained.

Xander looked around.  "Ron, where's Harry?"

Snape sighed.  "Unfortunately, Miss Granger was not watching him well enough and some of the females in the school have decided he has grieved enough," he explained.  "When I left they had him locked in a closet and wandless again.  Minerva was supposed to be getting him free."

"That's it, I've had it with the petty bitches," Dawn said, starting off.

Xander put a hand on her arm.  "Let me," he said with a small twinkle in his eye.  The first since the battle.  He went into his study and grabbed something coiled on his desk. "Fluffy, you may leave if you behave," he ordered.  "No more wailing and crying on Narcissa's hem."  He nodded and left, sliding back into the crowd.  Xander flooed to the school, dusting himself off as he walked up the halls.  His cane tapped on the marble with each step, but it wasn't slowing him down any.  One of the ghosts pointed out the knot of girls so he headed that way, stopping right behind them.  He let the whip uncoil then snapped it in the middle of the pack of begging and pleading girls.  "How dare you disrespect my family this way!" he thundered.  "I would never let Harry date anyone who disrespected his family or his feelings in such a manner."  They looked shamed and he glared at them for good measure.  "One more incident of this nature and I'm withdrawing Harry from school for good.  Am I understood?"  They nodded and one handed him Harry's wand.  "Thank you.  You can come out, Harry."

Harry slowly opened the door and looked around.  "I was getting ready," he explained, heading up to finish changing.  He saw the looks in the common room.  "I agree.  It's very disrespectful of my family.  We do have a funeral today and Des was always very nice to me.  Like the mother I needed," he said coldly as he headed up to his dorm.  He changed quickly and came back down, finding Xander waiting on him.  "Sorry."

"That's all right. It happened to me once or twice too," Xander offered as he handed Harry his wand back and they walked off.

"Wasn't the whip a bit much?" Hermione asked as she caught up to them, putting an arm on Harry's arm since she was supposed to escort him.

"It broke up the pack of wild bitches faster than shouting would have," Xander said dryly.  He sent them back first, then flooed back himself, letting Molly do the cleaning charms on them.  "Thanks, Mrs. Weasley."  He put the whip down on a table and followed Harry back out to the garden.

"I always thought curse breaking must be something like Indiana Jones," Hermione told Harry as she walked him outside.  "Xander proved it to me yet again."  Harry patted her on the hand and found them seats in front.  Hermione had to sit a row behind him but it wasn't like they were *together*.

It was someone's unfortunate decision to try to interrupt the ceremony.  He quickly found himself hexed by Draco since Xander had left his wand upstairs.  He also found himself hexed by Tara, who all but called the wrath of the Goddess down on his head.  The reporter quickly ran off before he could be hurt more.

The rest of the family decided they could hunt him down later and hurt him. It was only fair after all.  He was a reporter, they were fair game.

Vacation Holiday

Emilia looked around their borrowed room, trying to see if they had missed anything.  She found her husband pouting and gave him a pat as she walked past him into the bathroom.  That stupid stomach cramp happened again.  "I am not in labor," she hissed.

Greg came in and held her through it.  "You're too early.  It's a reaction to the hot peppers you ate last night," he said in her ear, calming her down again.  "If it's labor, we're staying.  I won't have you flooing or portkeying with a newborn."

She turned to look at him.  "Greg, they're not abandoning us again," she said gently.  "Nick's in a stable place. Philip's in a stable place.  Even Methos can be found now.  You can always go visit."  He sighed and rested his head on her shoulder.  "I know, you got used to them being so close.  It's either finding a job over here or having them all move to Vegas," she reminded him.

"Alex and the boys could," he offered quietly.   More people would drop in to see them.  Or at least he felt they would.

She gave him a pat on the back.  "You suggest it to him.  Remember, we have the house everyone wants to come vacation at."  He looked up and grinned.  "You'll be seeing everyone again soon."

Xander stuck his head into the bathroom.  "Almost ready to go?"

"Anxious to have us gone?" Emilia teased with a grin.

"I can't have loud, noisy sex if you and the babies are here," he pointed out.  "It'd wake them up."

"Ooh, poor thing, having to have quiet sex," she soothed, giving him a pat on the cheek, which turned into a hair pull when that hot pepper reaction happened again.  "I think I may be in labor," she admitted.  "I don't want to be in labor yet."

Greg got her fingers free and led her back to the bed, laying her down in it.  "We've got a few days," he reminded her.  "If they don't stop soon, I'll write everyone and tell them we'll be late."  She grabbed his hand, squeezing it until he winced.  "Maybe we should get Methos up here?  And Tipsy?"

Emilia nodded.  "Yeah, might be a great idea, Greg."

Xander jogged out, leaning over the banister.  "Methos!  Molly!  Emilia's in labor!" he yelled.

"Yes!" Draco's voice floated down the halls.   "I can have messy, noisy sex again!"

Xander snickered and shook his head.  His mate was one of a kind.  Methos jogged up the stairs and he followed him in to help Greg.  He even put a waterproof sheet underneath her so they wouldn't have to change the bed as often.  He only had a few extra sets of sheets in the house.   Dawn seemed to rip a lot of them for some reason.

The twins came up and moved him out to the hallway, shutting the door in his face.  They made good coaches.  Tipsy had told them so.  They even pulled out the Big Book of Dark Curses when she stared to tell Greg what she was going to do to him for doing this to her.  It gave her some wonderful ideas and kept her mind off the pain.  They called Tipsy up to help when their voices gave out, letting her take the next shift.  They called their mother in, she was excellent at this baby stuff.  She'd even had them at home.

***

Catherine Willows opened up Grissom's emails to read them to him over the phone.  "Here's one from Greg, an update.  And it's got attachments," she announced.  His laughter came over the speaker phone so she opened it.  "It says he's going to be a bit later than he thought.  Oh, that's so cute," she cooed, touching the screen.  "He sent pictures of Gregette junior."

"Hopefully he named his daughter something else?" Sarah said from the doorway.

Catherine looked at her.  "He said he hasn't decided which name he likes best and Emilia's still asleep.  He stole baby Greg from all the doting aunts and uncles to take pictures of her and send them to us."

"Did he say when?"

"Maybe another week," Catherine told him.  "You can't fly with an infant under a month old.  I'd imagine they had similar restrictions on their kind of traveling."

"Good point," Grissom agreed.  "Anything else important?"

She saved that message down and scanned the rest.  "Ten from the sheriff, one from Warrick's kidnaper that you've had read to you.  One from Nick, he's in Hawaii already it looks like.  Oh, and here's another one just popping in from the sheriff.  The message line is "Where the fucking hell are you, Gil, and why won't you answer my g-d summons?"

He sighed.  "I'll call him.  Thank you, Catherine, keep looking and call me immediately if something else from the kidnaper comes up."  He hung up.

Catherine went back to the baby pictures and waved Sarah closer, showing her.  "I thought babies looked more normal at birth," Sarah said, grimacing.  "It's kinda red and squashed."

"All babies come out slimy, red, and squashed," Catherine told her.  "You'll find that out some day personally I'm sure."  A new message popped up and she answered it, telling the sheriff that Grissom had his messages and was still in the field looking for the kidnaper.  That he had promised to call as soon as he got near a phone.  Then she sent it to him with an eye roll.  "Maybe you should help Gil," Catherine suggested.

"Yeah, I probably should.  Thanks, Catherine."

"Not a problem."  Sarah ran out the door, heading to get one of the cops heading to the search site to take her.  She emailed the pictures to Brass, smiling when he came down the hall.  "Didn't you get them?"

"I did.  How long do you think it'll take?  We could really use him.  We just found a few samples and Grissom's sending them back ASAP."

"Let me call," she said, picking up the phone.  She dialed the number hidden under Grissom's desk protector, hearing a tired voice on the other end.  "Hey, Fred.  Okay, George.  It's Catherine.  Can we borrow Greg for a few minutes?  No, we've had one of our coworkers kidnaped and we're getting samples.  We trust him to not make mistakes, not like the others.  I got his email and have spread it around the unit.  Yeah, hopefully by today.  I know, and I'd hate to do it, but we *really* need him.  Thanks, George.  Yeah, that's fine, I'll wait."  She looked at Brass and shrugged, then smiled at the yawning on the other end.  "Hi, Emilia.  It's Catherine.  I wouldn't normally call like this but Warrick's been kidnaped and our fill-in is an idiot.  Sure."  She waited until she heard the sleepy grunt.  "Greg, we need you badly.  We need you to do samples to help us find Warrick before his air runs out."  She straightened up.  "You're sure?  Yeah, even just for a day.  He's only got another ten hours of air and the day-shift guy screwed it up.  He even got into a shouting match with Hodges."  She laughed.  "I've seen them and I've spread them around.  Thanks.  Yeah, within an hour would be fine.  Gil's halfway to Lake Mead at the moment.  Love you too, and kiss them both for us."  She hung up.  "Within an hour.  We woke him up from a nap."

"Thanks."  Brass hurried back to his office, he could hear his phone ringing.

Catherine checked the email again and sighed when an answer to her message came up from the Sheriff.  She opened it and shook her head, writing a reply that Gil was trying to find a missing CSI, that took precedent over information gathering and handing out.

***

Greg appeared and waved as he walked into his lab.  He found two boxes waiting on him and sat down to start working.  So what if he was wearing flannel pajama pants and a t- shirt, they wouldn't complain too much.  He got the first answer within a few minutes and cross-checked with the earlier logged results.  "How did he screw that up?" he muttered, finding the serum sample and rerunning it, this time as the appropriate type of sample.  The answer gave them a broad area, but not that broad. "Catherine!" he called, holding up the paper.  He started on the second sample as soon as she had grabbed it.  "How did he mess that up?"

"He and Hodges were fighting over the rights to run it," she said as she read.  "This only overlaps with our present search area by a mile."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't important."

"I understand," he promised, smiling up at her as soon as the sample had started.  "I'd want to call me back too if someone had run a soil composite as a cleaning chemical."  The printer spit out another answer and he picked it up to look at it, then at the other results.  "That's definitely the shoreline nearer to the power plant.  It's got a funny spew off from the generators whenever they break down."  He handed it over with a flourish.

"You are the best piece of cheese on the block," she swore, going to call Grissom.  She heard the phone ringing and jogged to catch it.  "Gil," she said when she answered it.  "Sarah, put him on.  Greg found something and had a clue."  She sat down, catching her breath.  "Greg had a clue.  The test results say it's on the shores of the lake, where you get some machine oil spitting.  There wasn't a high concentration but it wasn't motor oil.  He said it's machine oil and sometimes the generators spew a bit when they get cranky.  Yeah, he thinks it's downwind of the dam.  All right.  No, I was down the hall with him.  Let me check."  She checked the email and found a message from an unusual source.  She coughed and smiled.  "And I quote, the magnet found the trouble with the big nose and he's in the ER at Desert Palms.  Jim and Vecchio went after the sucker.  Sandburg."  She laughed.  "Probably.  It also says he's about a half-mile from the edge of the dam, up one of the hiking trails.  Good job," she congratulated when she heard Sarah scream that she was falling.   She smiled and hung up, going to hug Greg.  "Sandburg and Vecchio found him," she told him.  He snorted, shaking his head.  "What?"

"Those five together are one dangerous team," he told her.  "Both Rays, Benny, Blair, and Jim would about make the world shake in fear.  Did you know Ray K managed to hitch a ride with Blair during our battle?"

"No, I hadn't," she said, sitting next to him.  "Did he help?"

"He shot the Prof, but otherwise he helped a lot.  They weren't expecting bullets."

"We knew he came back smelling like gunpowder.  Brass found him first then he and Vecchio got into it in the hallway over what he had been doing.  He finally said he had been helping Blair with some ugly suckers wearing masks and left it there as he stomped out and went to shower."

"Yeah, he helped us a lot," he admitted.  He leaned on her shoulder and yawned. "When do they sleep through the night?"

"By four months."

"Good.  I'll remember that for the next one."

"Trust me, don't mention that to her yet.  She's still sore and achy from the last one."

"She mentioned it last night," he admitted, yawning again.  His eyes slowly closed and he fell asleep right there.

She very nicely stayed still until someone came back to help her move him to a more comfortable spot.  Her daughter was amused.  "His daughter was just born today," she explained, showing her the picture Greg had brought with him for his desk.

"Babies are funny looking," her daughter decided.  But she covered him and left him on his couch.

***

Greg looked up from his desk six days after they had gotten back as his wife wandered in and handed off the baby and carrier.  "Good morning, Cassandra," he murmured, putting her on.   "Let's run some blood.   You'll learn all about DNA before you can even speak."  He grinned as he ran the next sample.  His daughter was sleeping, it was a miracle.  He heard a cleared throat and didn't have to look up.  "What's wrong now, Hodges?"

"She's drooling."

"On my back.  I doubt it'll transfer.  That's why I don't have her on my stomach."

"You know, the others would watch her if you let them."

Greg halted his water transfer, looking at him. "Did you just offer to babysit?"  Hodges shook his head and hurried off.  "Didn't think so," he said as he went back to his latest sample.  "See, sweetie, you add the water to give it more area to scan," he told her.  "That's the simple explanation, the longer one comes once you can walk.  Then we'll get into double helixes and all that good stuff."  His daughter snored on, liking the sound of his voice.  Someone else chuckled from the doorway.  "Sarah, in my regular jacket pocket is a card for the wonderful baby toys and the fingerprinting and DNA kits.  I'll get it during lunch break."

"That's fine, Greg.  Want me to take her?  I'm lifting fingerprints and I'm sure she'd find it instructive."

"Nah, let's leave her here for now.  Fingerprinting is for when she starts leaving them."  He grinned at her and winked, then went back to what he had been doing.  He had added a little too much water but it would be fine with this sample.  He reminded himself to be more careful as he got back to work.  "This is yours."

"Fine, I'll wander down the hall and come back again," she agreed, knowing that her lurking upset the baby and made it howl, then her samples would never get done.  As Nick had found out last night.  He had to wait a very long time on his blood typing until Greg had gotten poor Cassandra calmed down again.  And Catherine had backed him up on that.  She wondered what Emilia was doing but it was probably top secret so she couldn't know.  She had learned her lesson when her ISP account had been put on hold for a week pending the outcome of a security check.  She knew better than to bug Greg or Emilia about what they had done in Britain.  She heard the detectives coming down the hall and groaned.  When was that case and trial going to be over with?  She looked up and silently prayed for the jury to finally go and deliberate quickly.  Vecchio scared her.  He was either some super being or just really odd.  The man only yelled at slow traffic.   Kowalski irritated her with his usually sunny nature and candy addiction and the Mountie drove her nuts.  What had she done to deserve this?  Then she heard the dreaded whistling.  Vecchio was in a *good* and *humorous* mood.  Wonderful.  She went to get herself a soda and lock herself in her lab.  Her samples could wait.  They really could.  With her luck, Sandburg would be with them.  Now she knew why her friend Cassie wanted to leave Cascade so bad.

Both Rays and the Mountie came in to visit Greg.  They liked Greg a lot, wished they had more of him at home.  They also liked little Cassandra.  "Ah, there's the baby," Ray said happily, stealing her to sit on Greg's couch.  "Yes, you're a sweet one for Uncle Ray, aren't you?" he asked.

She woke up and yawned at him, blinking a bit before falling back asleep.  She was too full to deal with big people.  She burped but the big guy in red had something to clean her up so it was all good to her.

"Man, she's gained more weight," Ray K said quietly, staring at her.  "You are adorable.  If I ever get around ta havin' kids, I want one just like you."  He brushed some of her hair down."

"I doubt it.  This is the first time she's slept more than twenty minutes all day," Greg said, yawning himself.  "Damn it."  He restarted his sampling, doing it more carefully this time.

"Sorry, kiddo."

"Not a big," he said absently.  He nearly jumped when his daughter wailed. He did remember to put everything down so he couldn't botch anything up again.  "What happened?"

"I think she woke up and decided Kowalski was scary," Vecchio said dryly, handing her over.  "Either that or her time's up."

"Greg, take her home," Grissom called.  "I'll run those."

"You're a blessing, you're a Godparent," Greg called back, gathering his daughter together.  "Come over to the house later, you can watch us all nap."  He grinned and disapparated from the hallway.  He laid the baby in her cradle and she went back to sleep as he crawled in with his wife, laying on top of her.

"Smooshing the milk sacs," she complained into her pillow.

"I'll empty them later," he promised, blowing a kiss.

"Grissom?"

"Yeah.  He's a godparent."

"Deal," she agreed.  "I get Alex."

"Fine."

***

Back in Britain, Luna was having a sleepover with most of Hufflepuff and a few of her housemates who liked her. Her father had said it was good for her to associate with other girls.

One of the Hufflepuffs looked up at her. "Luna, is it hard to learn that slang you know?  I think it'd make a really neat code for us to use around the school so the boys don't know what we're saying."

Luna grinned.  "It's not hard at all, dawg, it's really easy.  We'll start with a musical lesson and then move on, all right?"  They nodded so Luna put Bob Marley cd so they could listen to it.  Then she grabbed a chalkboard and some chalk, sitting down again to write out the first few words, including diagraming them in a sentence for their edification.

"Maybe we should learn British," one of the Ravenclaws suggested.  "We are British after all."

"Yeah, but more people would know that," the asking Hufflepuff reminded her.

"I can teach you both, I've searched out our own part of the gang culture," Luna assured them.  "There's not much of it here in the UK, I'm not sure why.  It's really hard to find good rap music as well."  She shrugged.  "Anyway, this music is called Reggae.  When I was in the US, I stayed with some Jamaicans.  This is their native music."  All the girls nodded, listening intently.  Maybe then they'd understand what Luna was talking about half the time. "After this, I'll put on some rap.  It's street music in the US."  They all looked at her in awe.  "Don't worry, you'll understand.  Living the street life is like being at war and we've all just done that."  They relaxed, that was easy enough to understand.  "After that, we'll work on some language skills.  By tomorrow, not even Dawnie will be able to tell that you didn't grow up with her.  Though, she uses some surfer, not just street.  I'm sure she and Alex can teach you that."

"Wow," one younger Hufflepuff breathed.  "You're really cool, Luna.  Even for worshiping a demon and having sex with it."

"Yes, well, Ethan always wanted to be powerful," she said with a grin.  "Wesley's a whole 'nother matter entirely.  Oops, I should check on him.  I'm teaching him how to ride Western today," she said, happily going to check on her lover.  Wesley had protested a bit so she had tied him up in their spare room.  Her father seemed to understand and had their house elf feed him when Luna wasn't.  "Wesley," she called as she walked in.  She found Ethan on top of him stealing a kiss.  "Has he come around?" she asked, coming over to get some of her own.  Ethan hummed in the back of his throat, sounding like a purr.  "Are you a kitty instead of a stallion?" she teased.

"Do you want a tongue bath to find out?" he taunted.  "I can stop time for a second."  She beamed and tossed off her shirt, surrendering to him.

Wesley groaned behind his gag, trying to look away but the straps held his head in place.  That girl was all together too good at tying him up.

***

"Hidy-ho, neighbors," Blair called from downstairs.  "We're here to use the pool."

"Thanks for sitting," Tipsy agreed as she brought her twins in to lay in the cradle with Cassandra.  "We'll be outside when it's our turn."  She snuck out, running toward the water.  "Free at last!"

"Mum said she'd happily babysit," Ginny reminded her from her spot on the pool's edge.

"She'd nag," Tipsy told her.  She dove in, making her husbands grin and stalk her across the pool until they could pin her against the side for long kisses.

Xander came out of the house in a tiny speedo.  "Tipsy, not in the pool.  I don't want to know what they taste like."  Ginny and Harry both spluttered but he shrugged and grinned before diving in.

Draco came out in his own silver speedo and dove in after him to try and drown him for such comments.  "Naughty, Xander," he scolded.  "Bad you."  He pushed him under the water and pushed off, heading off as quickly as he could.

"Won't save you," Xander reminded him.  "I know how you sleep."

"Does it do it cutely?" Fred asked over his shoulder.  He was busy undoing her top while his twin got her lower half under the water.

"Not only that but he sleeps very deeply.  I could even tie him up and he'd never know," Xander said with a wicked grin.

"Do you need begging, pleading, or just pleasing sex to wipe that idea?" Draco asked as he swam back.  He pounced his mate, making all thoughts of handcuffs and ropes retreat to the back of his mind.  "Tonight's moon dark," he whispered against the damp lips.

"Hmm, so it is," Xander agreed wolfishly.  "We should do something about that, shouldn't we?"  He felt his husband up, making him writhe and wiggle against him.  "Not liking it?"

"There are virgins watching, I don't want to corrupt her," Draco said softly.  "Then she couldn't do her chosen work."

"Good point.  Ginny, watch the twins instead of us."

"Sure, Xander, I'm not watching how those tiny swim trunks are exposing him at all," she agreed.  Xander looked back at her.  "I have to be pure in deed, not thought."

"Good point," Draco agreed.  "Never mind, I withdraw my objections."  He latched back onto the firm mouth, enjoying the hell out of this.  Now if only they had some oil....

Most of the rest of the Banes came out to celebrate the holidays with Greg, Emilia, and Cassandra as well, clapping for the excellent floor show.  They hadn't gotten to see much of this with the new babies and one of the couples being in school.

Ron gallantly led Dawn into the water and kissed her.  "Swim laps or knock them over?"

"I don't want to see that much of Draco's bum," she retorted.  "I've seen more than enough of it already, thank you muchly."

"The proper phrase is thank you kindly," Ray Vecchio said from the doorway.  "Just ask the blushing Mountie."

Xander pulled away long enough to wave, then went back to molesting his mate in the pool.

"Not in the water.  Some of us want to swim without risk of getting stuffed up," Dawn complained. "Hide under a sheet on a lounger like decent people!"

"It is scientifically proven that one cannot get pregnant from swimming in sperm-infested water," Benny told her as he joined them, sitting on the edge of the pool.  "But it is not very polite either."

"Yeah, in some cultures if they were doing that in front of others it means that they'd want to share," Blair told them.  Both groups got out of the pool, taking it to a lounger and covering themselves for a while.

"Thank you.  We all know people from Sunnydale beat all the odds and scientific proof.  I'd hate to have one of the twins' kids," Dawn called.

Ron nodded. "I'd hate to kill them for that too," he agreed.  One of the twins uncovered his head to look at him.  "If she got knocked up from the pool, I'd blame you.  She's only swimming, you're the one fouling the water."

"Weasley genes are spread far enough all ready," that twin agreed.

"I can't wait until he has his own," Tipsy said loudly.

"I can," Dawn shot back.  "Unless you want to bear one for him, 'cause I'm not even thinking about being open that wide for a very long time."

Emilia came out in a robe.  "Don't worry, it unstretches again. Trust me on that.  Why are you all here?"

"Break," they said in unison.

"Good," she decided.  Free babysitters!  Xander moaned and Draco nearly screamed.  "Hey, no sex on the patio.  There's fifteen rooms upstairs, use one of them.  If you get bodily fluid on those, you lick it off."

"Yes, dear," Draco called, standing up, unconscious in his nudity.  Or his mate's as he pulled him along behind him.  The twins tried their best to cover their mate's assets up as they ran her inside as well. "Hey, our room!" Draco called.  "We always use that room!"

"Remind me not to sleep in that room," Ray K said as he walked out, wearing a nice pair of print trunks.  "You said we could come over," he said with a grin, holding up a basket.  "I even remembered to bring a gift."

She kissed him on the cheek.  "You're not noisy, you can stay.  The first one who wakes up Cass babysits her."  She went back to her nap, enjoying the peace.  Fortunately, someone was thoughtful enough to cast silencing charms.  She saw her husband's wand in his hand and grinned, kissing him on the ear.

"Only do that if you want us to make noise too," he moaned, giving her a faint smile, his eyes still closed.  "Break?"

"Break.  I've already shooed the shagging couples away from the pool.  Luna's not here so we don't have to worry about demonic visitors as well."

"I heard.  Draco giggles.  Still."

"But he's in love.  I know how he feels."  She kissed him again and he opened his eyes this time.  "I'm feeling better."

"I'm glad," he agreed, dropping his wand so he could take the better magical being in his hand.  "I like it when you're feeling good.  I like it a lot."

She chuckled and gave him a real kiss.  "I know you do."  Someone knocked on the door.  "You're interrupting."

Ray Vechcio stuck his head inside.  "I was going to relieve you of babycare so you couldn't be interrupted rudely by a loud wail.  May I?"

"Sure, have them all," Greg agreed, going back to what he had been doing.  He loved his wife. He loved every inch of her and proved it often by kissing, licking, nibbling, and sucking on them.  Too bad she wasn't taller, more of her to love.  But the little pregnancy belly was very cute so he spent a lot of time on that once the cradle had been taken out of the room. She pushed his head down further and he gladly had his favorite bedtime snack.

She was all his!

Down the hall, Draco had to have the last word.  "MORE!" he screamed, breaking the silencing charm.   From downstairs, people clapped politely.  It was like dinner theater to them now.

Table of Contents

The Army of Bane. 2

Help! 41

Replacement. 96

Redemption. 125

Planning. 144

Tamed Slytherins. 181

You're One Of A Kind, Xander Harris. 242

Charming. 263

Ambassadorial Privilege. 300

The Magic Does Not Lie. 326

Battleground. 335

Vacation Holiday. 358