Contents

Being A Xander Is Hard Work

Animals in Miami.

Swimming And Guns

Being A Xander Is Hard Work

Note: Blessed be to Josette for this idea!  Gee, thanks, another sleepless night and a hundred page day.

Horatio Caine jumped out of his hummer and ran after the suspect on foot.  This one had been irritating him for almost a week now.  He finally managed to get him down and onto his back, his gun pulled and in the guy's face, one foot on his chest.  "Do not move," he ordered.

"I won't!  Don't shoot!"

Horatio listened, he could hear his backup behind him, somewhere.  "Tell me what I want to know, Stephens."

"I don't know anything!  I swear, I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Then why were your prints on the murder weapon!"  The man shrugged.  "Tell me what I want to know or I'm going to make your remaining days miserable by telling them that you murdered a fifteen-year-old male prostitute because you couldn't get it up."  He whimpered.  His backup pulled into the alley, Eric jumping out.

"H!"

"I've got him.  Call it in, Eric."

Eric glared at the guy on the ground.  "Can I kick him, just once?"

"No."  Horatio looked at him then around.  "Tell me the names of your accomplices or I'm going to feed you something so horrible, you'll beg to tell me every sin you've ever done," he warned. "If you live after eating it, we'll take you to the hospital.  If not, pity, you died of a heart attack during the chase."

"You can't do that!"

"Oh, yes, I can."

"H, you can't feed him Xander's cooking," Eric said, hoping to talk him down.  "You don't have any with you."  Saying it was mean was redundant, it was Xander's cooking.

"Xander!" he snapped.  "Bring me something!"  Xander appeared, holding a bowl.  "Last chance."

Eric looked in the bowl, noticing the brown syrupy looking liquid with ...stuff floating in it.  "Moo shoo?" he guessed.  It kinda looked like some sort of chinese food.

Xander looked down then at him.  "Pulled pork.   My first attempt," he said proudly.

"You can't do that!  That violates my first amendment rights!" the perp yelled.  He was trying to wiggle away.  "I know my rights!  You can't make me eat pork!  I'm Jewish!" he complained at the odd looks he was getting from the two CSIs and one husband.

"Okay," Xander said, carefully handing the bowl off to Eric, who went to put it on the hood of his car.  "Keep that warm for me if possible, please.  I need to see what I did wrong."

"Well, first, barbeque sauce is usually red," Eric offered.  "Or some shade there of."  Ryan Wolfe pulled in, finishing the block of the alleyway.  "Did you stop to get gas?"

"No, I stopped to get Speed," he said, pointing at him.

Xander grinned at the guy, pulling a bag out of his pocket.  "Since you can't eat pork, I know there's nothing against oatmeal cookies.  Fully kosher even."  He leaned down, letting him sniff one, then forcing him to eat one.  Then he grinned as the guy's eyes went very large.  "Aren't they good!  My son was helping me make those."

The guy swallowed, choking a bit.  "What is that flavoring?"

"Nutmeg.  Ryan, wasn't it nutmeg?"

"Yes, Xander, it was," he agreed, looking at the bowl.  "Chinese food?"

"Pulled pork," Eric said.

"Interesting."  Ryan opened his field case and took out some swabs, dipping them into the liquid and making sure it didn't eat the swab before capping it.  "Are those the cookies I watched you make?"

"A few of those and some of the ones I was making for Calleigh's birthday."  He pulled out one of those and made him eat it, making the guy cry.  "Awww, you poor thing," he cooed, getting down to pet his forehead.  "Aren't the banana bread cookies okay?"

"Pe...peppers," he squeaked.

"Eric, get him some water," Horatio ordered.  That was mean even by his current standard.

"Xander, what did you put in this sauce?" Speed asked, jiggling the bowl a bit.  "And are you sure that's pork?"

"I'm sure."  He frowned at him.  "Don't you have the mini-me?"

"I do, he's in the back of the hummer," Ryan admitted.  Horatio gave him a dirty look. "I picked him up since he was broken down. I didn't think I'd be in a high speed chase today, Horatio.  Sorry.  He's strapped into his carrier seat and he's been giggling and humming the whole time."

"He waved to some girls wearing bikinis in a convertible as we sped past," Speed offered.  "Did you mix up the worsteshire sauce with the soy sauce?  You know the soy sauce is the stuff that smells like almonds, right?"

"I know."   The baby let out a wail.  "Someone get him out. He's gotta be cranky.  It's been ages since I fed him."

"Xander, have you been feeding the baby?" Horatio asked calmly, putting his gun away.  The suspect wasn't going anywhere.  He was still choking on the lethal cookie.

"Yeah, we had Burger King for lunch. This morning we had hamburger helper," he said proudly.  "Because *someone* didn't go grocery shopping again."

"Why can't you?" Eric asked.

"Because he refuses to let me after the last time. He said I brought home moldy meat."

"You did," Horatio reminded him, gong to check on their son.  "Eric?"  The baby smiled at him so he got him out, handing him to Speed, who had to put down the bowl of food.  "Thank you."

"Dear, I don't cook that bad.  I'm sure there's another reality somewhere where I cook worse."

"That's a frightening thought.  Nearly as bad as the vampire you," Speed offered, patting the baby on the back.  Calleigh pulled up in one of the squad cars.  "Good. You can help save the guy's life.  He ate one of your banana bread present cookies."

"The ones I made?" she asked in a voice that said very clearly he wasn't getting sex for a month and she'd be spending it at her place.

"No, the ones he made off your recipe," Eric told her.  She gave him a horrified look.  "He was going to make them for you."

"I watched him make the oatmeal ones so they're probably fine," Ryan offered, taking the cookies from Xander's hand to bag a few for testing.  He knew someday soon he'd find a whole new chemical weapon that way.  The military would pay him bigtime if he could get around his wife to sell it to them.  She had something against the military for some reason.

Speed looked at his girlfriend. "You know, he's been feeding the baby too."

"Well, he is a baby Xander, he could probably eat his own cooking."  She came over to smile at the baby, getting a hug.  "Thank you, Eric."

"Can I have one?" Big Eric teased.

"Not a chance in hell."  He chuckled and hugged her anyway.  "Get off!"

Ryan looked back.  "Speed!"  He looked, then pried the baby's fingers out of the bowl of...whatever. "Horatio, we could use some help," he called.  He tried to keep the baby's fingers out of his mouth but he stuck them in there anyway and smiled.  "Crap, we might need Alexx, Eric."

He pulled out his phone, going to get the first aid kit.  One could never be too careful about Xander food.  Especially around those with delicate stomachs and internal systems.  "Here, baby wipes," he offered, handing one over.  The baby just cooed at him. "It'll be okay.  I promise, they can give you an antibiotic to cure everything."

"You know, he is a baby Xander, he can probably eat Xander's cooking," Speed offered, but he was trying to clean the baby off as well.  No one deserved food poisoning that way, especially not his grandson.

Xander looked down at the perp, pulling a small container out of his back pocket. Everyone was busy so he could test his newest batch of his best kissing friend.  "Since they're so busy, why don't you tell me what Horatio wants to know so they can fuss over the baby some more?"

"Can't," he said, trying to scrape his tongue off on his teeth.  "Can't feel my tongue."

"Well, I've got some breath spray if you want," he offered, pointing it down. "Open."  The guy opened his mouth and Xander squirted it once.  The guy screamed and bucked him off, turning over to gag and choke.  "Sorry, I know it's a bit strong."

"Strong!  Altoilds are like trident compared to that!  What is that, mace!"

"No, it's my breath spray."  He sprayed it and licked his lips.  "Not too bad.  Hey, baby."  He walked over, smiling at his son.  "Say ahhh!"

"Ahhhh!"  Eric crowed, sticking out his tongue.

"Oh, no," Ryan said.  "I cannot allow you to test that on the infant.  I'm sorry, Xander, but there could be undesirable side effects, like him never tasting anything again."  He pointed it away from him.

"Not near my hummer!"  Horatio ordered.

Big Eric took the small spray vial and walked it over to the squad car, spraying some at the bumper, watching as the paint bubbled.   "Can you make me more of this to use in the garage?" he asked him.

"Not funny," he pouted, taking it back.  "My baby likes it."  He let the baby have it, watching as he sprayed himself, and Speed, who choked and wheezed.  "See!  He says it's fine."  He took it back and took his son.  "Come on, Eric, we'll go cuddle and make Daddy Horatio buy us dinner since they're being so mean."  He looked at the perp.  "You know, I have stuffed jalepenos at home, I can easily send some."  He disappeared.

Speed looked at Ryan, who headed for the car and back to Horatio's house to stop him before he hurt the baby with his bad judgement in cooking.  Speed walked over and made the guy look at him.  "This is what happens when Horatio gets cranky on a case," he said blandly.  "He gets cranky and it makes Xander cranky; when Xander's cranky he gets bored more easily and he does things like cook.  Since this case is the reason Horatio hasn't gotten laid in a week and that is making him cranky, I'm going to handcuff you and hand you to Xander so he can have some *fun* with you - that was only playful Xander.  Unless you want to confess and tell us who your accomplices are," he finished in a totally reasonable tone of voice.

"Water?" he gasped.

"Eric, water?"  A bottle was tossed over and Speed helped him drink it.  "Now, are you ready to talk?"  He nodded, whimpering, tears running down his face.

"Just think, Xander was going to be our profiler before things got in the way.  He was going to be a cop, just like us," Eric told the guy, leaning against his car.

"Please give me life," he begged. "Either that or make sure I go straight. I'll do anything!  Castrate me to make sure I stay straight, please!"

"It's not a sex crime, they won't even consider it," Speed assured him, helping him stand up.  "Now, see Lieutenant Caine?"  The guy nodded, walking over there and hugging him around the knees, still crying.  "Good boy.  You tell him everything and we'll make sure Xander never cooks for you again."

"That poor baby."

"It's his son.  The iron stomach is genetic," he said sarcastically.  "Spill now!"

The guy nodded, babbling at him.

"In English, not in Portugese," Eric ordered.

"Sorry!"  He stared over again in English this time, going even faster.

***

Ryan came out of the lab reading something later that night.  "He's no Snape and he never will be," he announced, "but the pork whatever wasn't toxic."  Eric sighed in relief, smiling at that, patting the baby on the back since Ryan had forced Xander to let him have him.  "It's out of proportion, very vinegary, and the pork was burnt, but no findings of botulism or any other food poisoning or toxic substance."

"See, told you so," Xander said, taking back his son.  "Come on, sugar.  We'll go nap with the cocoa puffs since Daddy Horatio is going to be sleeping on the couch for the next week."

"Should you feed him that much sugar, I will have to complain to his mother, Xander," Horatio called.  He knew an empty threat when he heard one, Xander wouldn't ever let him sleep on the couch for a week without joining him for sex.  But he would get them both hyped up on chocolate and sugar.  "Xander!"

"She's in Barbados, Horatio.  Good luck on the coconut phone line system."  He and the baby headed down to the car to head home.

Eric looked at the report, shaking his head.  "He needs to stick with bottled and pre- packaged foods."  He glared at Horatio.  "Do I need to sic my mother on him?"

"Please do.  Since Speed can't teach him how to cook and I've only been moderately successful, it could help."  He looked at the report. "What about that breath spray?"

Ryan went to get that one, handing it over with a head shake.  "It'll peel rust faster than coke."

"I've seen him use it as an antibiotic spray for a scraped knee," Speed offered as he joined them, looking at the ingredient list. "It's all natural?  How?"

"Not a clue," Ryan admitted.  "You'd have to watch him make it. I'm wondering what he used to polish that silver picture frame and his collapsible rod."

"Probably the same thing, slightly different formula," Frank offered.  "Watch commander wants to know what happened to his cruiser."  They handed over the sheet on the breath spray.  "What's this?"

"What Xander's using as breath spray for him and the baby."

"It bubbled the paint," Eric agreed.  "The baby giggled and wanted more."

"You knew he was a miniature Xander.  What else did you expect from a kid of Xander's?"  Frank looked at Horatio.  "You know those magically appearing cookies earlier weren't too bad.  A bit strong with the habeneros, but not too bad for banana nut cookies."

"What magically appearing cookies?" Horatio asked.

"My cookies?  He put habeneros in my cookies?" Calleigh demanded overtop of him.  "My poor grandmother must be spinning in her grave since it was her recipe.  Why would he do that?"

"He's a Xander and their ways are mysterious to many, all but those mated to him and those born of his loins," Frank quipped.

"What magically appearing cookies, Frank?" Horatio demanded, hands back on his hips.

"They appeared with a note saying he had dreamed about sending us cookies at the station.  What do I know.  A few antacids and they were fine.   Your nephew was munching down on them too but his mother gave him some rolaids I think."

"He's not allowed to bake, Frank."

Frank gave him this smug little look. "Then I'd go spank your boy, or better yet, take him to bed, Horatio.  It's been too long and he's going odd."  Horatio hurried off, not quite jogging but at a fast walk.  All he dared to do unless there was an emergency.

"Xander made those cookies," Frank called.

"Well, at least we know little Eric will never, ever be brought down by the flu, any stomach virus, or food poisoning," Ryan offered dryly.  Everyone glared at him so he grinned.  "I told Willow about the breath spray and she crossed herself and started to pray for little Eric's sanity."

"I thought she was Wiccan," Eric said, looking confused.

"And Jewish before that," Ryan agreed. "She kept muttering about sons of Xander destroying the world and cackling as it burned.  I think she might be pregnant again," he offered happily.

"That's it, I'm gonna talk to Di, get her to talk to Xander," Calleigh said, going to start tracking the woman down.

"She'll be back in three days," Frank called.

"I doubt it can wait, Frank, since the baby liked that breath spray!"

"You know, there's only one cure for this," Eric offered grimly.

"Making Di or someone have a normal child for Horatio so he doesn't have to worry so much and that one can taint Eric?" Ryan offered.

Eric gave him a look like he was insane. "NO!"  He shook his head, moaning and holding it.  "With our luck, the taint would go the other way, though Marisol did offer."  He shook hie head again. "No, we have to keep Horatio off the cases that would keep him from having sex with Xander."  Ryan gave him that look back.  "If Xander's too tired from sex, he can't go odd, right?  Plus, if Horatio's satiated, he can't worry so much.  Besides, it'd be nice to see a happy, content Horatio around the office again.  Content Horatio equals sexed out, tired Xander who can't get into trouble, which equals little Eric learning more calm and Horatio-like tendencies.  Can we agree to this?"

"I can," Speed agreed, "but he won't."

"He will.  He won't know but he would agree.  Even he's been complaining about his lack of sex life, though he's been calling its sleep.  Xander's been complaining more that he's getting sleep and no sex."  Speed moaned and walked off shaking his head. "Wolfe, you with me?"

"Sure, if we can pull it off, Eric."

"You two remind me of this cartoon I saw once with two white mice," Frank said, walking off smiling and happy.  It was another day in Xander's Miami and it was all good.

"Do you have any more of that breath spray sample?"

"I have the gallon jug he was storing it in.  I used a fume hood when I opened it just in case, but the rest is in there. I only took samples off the top layer since it was about to eat the collector."

"Good.  I've got an uncle who works on classic cars.  Let's see if his formula can be sold and make him more money, which will go to spoiling H and make him even happier."

"He hates being spoiled."

"No, he hates Xander spending his trust on him.  He likes being spoiled. Xander gives good presents and sex.  Can I have that jug?"  He nodded and went to get a large sample of it in a glass jar. "Thank you."  He headed for home, going to offer that to his uncle.

Ryan shook his head.  "Today was just a very Xander day," he decided.  That was the only way to describe this sort of insanity.  He called his wife.  "Hey, baby.  I'm almost ready to come home.  Should I pick up anything?"  He beamed.  "I thought you were.  So we'll celebrate.  Want me to bring home anything besides something to castrate me?"  He walked back into the lab to clean up the mess.

***

Xander strolled into the station the next morning, sharing his jerky with his son.  The guard gave him a look, almost looking scared.  "What?"

"I've heard how you cook," he said quietly.

"He's my son."  He grinned at him.  "Besides, I'm only here to drop off."  He handed over the small bag he was carrying.  "That's the batch of scholarship essays that got forwarded down from New York and the jerky I found online.  The tag on it said that whole armies marched to Ares and Aphrodite on it."  He grinned.  "So can you slip that to my mate when he comes in?"

"Sure, Xander.  Any new presents?"

"The guy who was giving me most of them died.  He's the guy that I'm running the foundation for."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too, he was a nice old guy.  I reminded him of his son."  He let Eric hug the guy.  "We're going to go back to the house.  He's got the runs from the jerky he had for breakfast.  Spices," he offered at the look he got.  He grinned and walked the baby off, changing him in the car before they took off.

The guard went to hand it to the receptionist, writing out the notes that Xander had given him.  She gave him an odd look.  "His husband said that's what it said.  How would I know?  He found it online.  Warn him it's a bit spicy.  It gave the baby runs but he was happily gumming on it."  He went back to his post, nodding at Eric as he came in with a box.  "Xander dropped off stuff."

"Stuff?" he asked as he hit the elevator button and flashed his pass on the reader.

"Essays and some spicy jerky he found online.  He said the tag said armies marched to Ares and Aphrodite on it."

"Uh-huh," he said, nodding at that, getting in when the doors opened. "I'll warn Horatio. Thanks, Paul."  The doors closed and he went up the stairs, stopping at the reception desk.  She put the bag and the messages for him on top.  "Thank you."  He held them down with his chin, heading for the lab he was working in.  "Hey, Wolfe, Xander found some jerky made like he eats," he called before walking in the door.

Ryan walked down and opened the bag, taking out a stick to look at.  He sniffed it as he walked off.  "It smells okay, just really spicy.  Did he make it?"

"Claims he found it online but said something about armies marching to Ares and Aphrodite on it.  Gave the baby the runs."

He came back, looking at him. "Willow wants to start our son on the Xander diet."  Eric moaned.  "Yeah, that was my reaction, that and pointing out little Eric could eat it because he was a direct descendant."  He headed off again, going to test it.

Eric called Horatio.  "I picked up Xander's missive of the day.  No, essays down from New York and some jerky he claims he found you online but he told Paul, the guard at the elevator, that it had armies marching to Ares and Aphrodite."  He smirked. "Wolfe is doing that already and I've go to sic my mother on Willow.  She wants to start feeding their son like your husband feeds yours."  He smirked.  "Yeah, I know, he's already protesting hard about the kid not being Xander's so he wouldn't survive the food poisoning.  Thanks, H."  He hung up and got to work on the box of evidence he had collected.

Ryan walked in a half-hour later nibbling on the jerky.  "It's very spicy, it's done with Indian spices, it's perfectly healthy, but six of the spices are rumored aphrodisiacs and it's spicy enough to eat ulcers.  Like his breath spray."  He nibbled another bite.  Eric gave him a horrified look, mouth open, letting out a small whimper.  "She's already got odd food cravings.  It's not too bad but it's very strong and very spicy."  He led out his half, the uneaten side nearest him.  Eric broke a piece off and nibbled, gagging at the taste, he had to get a new bottle of water.  "Sorry, but I said it was spicy."  He walked out, letting Calleigh have a taste.  She scrunched her eyes up.  "Perfectly healthy but very spicy."

"So I take it the wife is pregnant?" she asked, taking the bottle of water from Speed's hand as he walked past.  "Thanks, needed this."

Speed looked at the jerky and backed away slowly.  "I know that stuff.  Xander found the recipe online when he was, like ten, twelve, something like that.  He said that's the reason he's so tough."  He swallowed, looking at Ryan.  "He also said the first week of it is nasty and you'll have the shits like you wouldn't believe, but if you survive it's all right."

"It's not poisonous."

"I know that, but it will bring on puberty. He claims his started right after he started to eat it."

"Six of the spices are aphrodisiacs," Ryan agreed, finishing that piece. "Willow is pregnant and having food cravings."  His stomach rumbled so he looked down.  "I'll be fine. They make medicine for that."

"Yeah, good luck with that," Speed agreed, heading off again shaking his head.  That poor, deluded young man.  Well, he probably had the time off to spend the next week in the bathroom.  He had eaten a piece of that once.  And only once.  He called Aiden.  "Baby, I love you, but Xander's making jerky again."  He looked at his phone then put it back.  "That's mean, Aiden.  I know Don could stop him, but that's very mean."  He hung up and went to hide.  He saw Ryan go running past, then Eric.  "They both should've known better," he sighed, going back to work and hiding successfully until Horatio got in.  He saw Alexx go walking past.  "Alex, check what was in the jerky," he called.  "Ryan and Eric both ate some if you're up here for flaming assholes."

She went to check Ryan's usual lab, finding the report in there and taking it with her bottle of mylanta.

***

Horatio walked in the door, smelling the scent that meant danger to him.  Someone was cooking.  "Xander?" he called softly.

"Making myself more jerky, Horatio."

"Couldn't you buy some?"  He headed into the kitchen, stealing a kiss.

"This is the one thing I make very well.  I found it in an old journal that had just been put online.  Besides, I like my jerky, it's what makes me so tough and horny."  He stole another kiss with a smile.  "You might wanna move, I'm marinading."  Horatio went to change.  "Did anyone eat it there?  It'll be about a week before they feel okay but the more you eat the stronger you become.  I've ate this stuff for years."

Horatio came back once he had changed, looking at his mate.  "Why are you eating it now?"

"Baby Eric stole some."  He snuck another kiss and laid the next piece of meat on the drying rack.  "I love this electric dehydrator.  It's so much easier than hanging it in my room."  He put on another tray and slid some more meat onto it, fishing around in the bowl with the fork.  He found one last small piece and put it on, then covered the dehydrating trays and plugged it in.  "There, now I'll have some for tomorrow."  He looked at the marinade, then shrugged and poured it back into the tupperware container, putting it back into the fridge.

"You should probably toss that out."

"I'll need to make more tomorrow," he said with a small pout. "I'm making Don some since he wanted to know how I'm so tough."  He cleaned up his mess, including the counter, then took off his apron and put it aside so he could lean against Horatio's chest and kiss him properly.  "How was work? Did you bring home the essays or did Eric and Speed take them?"

"They took them tonight."  He wrapped Xander in his arms.  "Have I mentioned that seeing you in here scares me?  Especially when you say the baby's been eating your cooking?" he asked gently.  Xander pinched him on the butt.  "It does, Xander."

"Baby Eric is fine.  He's already finished his adjustment from the jerky and he'll be able to eat anything he's not allergic to."  He nuzzled him.  "Disappoint me some more, Horatio, and I'm sleeping on the beach."

"Fine, I'll quit nagging about your cooking.  But nothing other than this jerky unless I'm watching you."  Xander nodded, accepting that.  "Good boy.  Now, where is the baby?"

"Eric's momma wanted to spoil him rotten since her baby boy is too old now."  He grinned at him.  "She volunteered.  I said it wasn't necessary and she said her Eric's too old."

"I'll call her after we eat."  Xander handed over a pot.  "What's this?"

"The stuff from the package you said I could make."  Horatio smiled and checked, then put on some chicken to warm from the plate Speed had made for them.  "Should I set the porch table?"

"Please."  He gave Xander a little spank, getting a wink and a grin in return.  He called Eric's mother.  "Mrs. Delko, Horatio Caine.  I was told you stole my son to play with?"  He smiled.  "No, that's fine.  Yes, I do know why he smells like tumeric.  Xander's jerky is very heavy in it and he was eating it.  He also said he's had a bit of an upset stomach for the last few days.  I can only imagine it's from the same source."  He listened to her say how nice and regular the baby was now.  Xander was right, his body had adjusted to it.  "Thank you.  Call when he's ready to sleep and we'll come get him.  Of course."  He smiled.  "Thank you."  He hung up and took the chicken out of the microwave, bringing it and the pot out since Xander had put out bottles of water for them.  "She'll call when he's ready to go down.  He smells like tumeric?"

"He managed to spill some on himself earlier.  I was cleaning him up when she got here."  He shrugged and dug in, giving him a gentle smile.  "Can you pounce me when you're done?"

"Of course.  Did you get anything done today?"

"Laundry and buying all new towels since the old ones are pink."  Horatio moaned at that.  "Your tie somehow snuck into the basket. I think Eric was trying to see which color it went best with."  He ate another bite.  "So I got new ones."

"Thank you, Xander.  The blue ones?"

"The cream ones."  Horatio nodded, of course it had been those.  "There was one of the lighter, faded blue ones and it's now purple.  A pretty shade."

"I'll keep that in mind."  He ate another bite, listening to the surf.  It was a quiet night in their neighborhood and it was a nice thing.  Xander smiled and licked his lips, taking a drink of water.  Horatio moaned, his mate was trying to tease him.  Ryan had said some of the spices were aphrodisiacs....

***

Diana picked up her son, sniffing him.  "Why does it smell like you're farting tumeric?" she asked, then looked at the stepdaddy to her baby.  "Why is he farting tumeric?"

"Xander's been making some jerky recently," he said calmly.

"Tell me that idiot didn't feed him that stuff!"

"His body fully accepted that and he's been eating a lot of spicy foods with Ryan and Xander."

"Why is Ryan eating spicy foods?"

"Willow's pregnant."

"Oh."  She sat down, looking at her son.  "Your daddy said that jerky was the secret to his toughness and why he was so horny."

"Yes, it is," Horatio agreed, leaning back in his chair.  "He hadn't had any in a while so he made it weaker for them both but he made a full strength batch and jumped me after eating a piece."  She smiled at that.  "Fortunately Ryan and Eric are both able to sit after eating some."

"Then they're doing better than I did.  That stuff's great for a muscle rub too."  She stood up and picked up the diaper bag.  "Were you a good boy?"  Eric beamed and nodded.  "Are you sure you were a good boy?"

"He's fully potty trained thanks to Xander and Eric's mother.  Even at night," he offered.  "We've been using pull-ups at night for him but he's been wandering around in one of his father's t-shirts and big boy underwear for the last day and a half."  She beamed and kissed him, nuzzling noses.  "He's started to try to look up dresses however.  He's trying to figure out if everyone's got what he has."

"I'll keep a watch out for it, Horatio.  Thank you for watching him."

"Our pleasure, Diana. You know that.  We love Eric."  She beamed and kissed him on the cheek, then left with him.  He smiled even though he had evaluations to do, getting back to them.   Eric knocked on the door.  "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong but I got asked an awkward question."  He walked in and shut the door, looking at his boss.  "You know about Marisol, right?" He nodded, he was supporting her through her treatments.  "They've told her if it doesn't finish going into remission next time it'll be radiation treatments, which means she'll never have a baby, and she wants one.  Mom's telling her she's being dumb, but she wants one."  He moved closer.  "She's also unmarried and she loves you two."  Horatio nodded slowly.  "She wanted to know if I could bring up the subject so she could ask."

"Xander and I haven't thought about a second child," he said quietly.  "I'll talk to him about it."

"Thank you, Horatio."  He smiled.  "Mom would insist we raise the baby most of the time, but we'd do what Di is and give you all the visitation and custody you could stand.  Mom wants another grandbaby anyway.  She's missing me being that tiny."  Horatio smiled at that, his mother had stolen the baby a lot recently.  "So, can she come ask?"

"Let me talk to Xander first," he offered quietly.  Eric nodded.  "Are you sure she's going to offer?"

"I'm really sure and she said she was thinking about asking you to be the daddy instead of Xander.  She loves Xander but she likes you more."

He nodded.  "I understand.  I'll talk to him tonight, Eric."

"Thanks, Horatio."  He grinned.  "I don't wanna make this awkward or anything."

"You're not.  Diana has talked about it in the past," he admitted.  Eric grinned and left him alone, letting him stare at the paperwork.  He called the house, then Xander's cell.  "When you're done sucking up to the bosses, come see me?" he asked quietly. "No, it's quarterly evaluation time.  Some lunch would be great," he agreed happily.  "As long as you don't cook it."  Xander chuckled but agreed.  "Thank you.  Hug my nephew if you stole him from classes today."  He hung up and got back to work.  They could talk and it'd be okay.  Xander knew that Eric's whole family liked them.

***

In New York, Mac took the package from the receptionist.  "What is this?"

"I don't know.  They said it's biological and food."  She shrugged. "The x-ray report said there's a note inside and I thought you'd see Detective Flack sooner than I would, Detective Taylor."

"Thank you."  He smiled and walked it back to his office, leaving it on his desk. "I hope it doesn't need refrigerated."  He went to get to work, finding Danny in the lab.  "If you see him first, someone in Miami sent Don a present, it's on my desk and it's food related."

"Okay.  Who?"

"No return address."

"That's Xander," Danny sighed, shaking his head.  He pulled out his phone, texting him.  He looked at the return message.  "He's out with Stella talking to someone so he'll be back in about an hour."  He went back to separating out samples, giving Mac a look since he was being stared at.  "What?"

"You didn't come over last night."

"I didn't get out of here until one."

"You work nearly as many hours as I do, Danny.  Quit that.  Before you turn into me."  He left, going to work on his own case for a while.  Until something else came up.

Danny mimicked him under his breath and got back to work.  Not his fault the cases were so intense recently.

***

Don found the package right where Danny had said, sitting down behind Mac's desk to open it.  Stella gave him an odd look.  "From Xander."  He got the box open and read the letter.  "This is what makes him so strong and horny," he said, reading the rest of the letter and pulling out the pictures of the baby.  "New pictures of Eric.  He's potty trained.  We got pictures of that."  He handed them over, going back to the letter.  "What's an adjustment period when you're talking about food?"

"You ever switch to one cuisine from another?" she asked.  He nodded, he had done that in college when he went from his mother's cooking to dorm food.  "That time when your stomach complains."

"Last time it was pretty decent."  He pulled out a piece and nibbled, wincing.  "Spicy."  He pulled open the other bag since it had a big sticker that said 'mild' on it.  That one was nicer.  After that one he ate the other one, heading to share it around.  Stella hated jerky.  He walked into Danny's lab, grunting and holding out the box.  Danny looked at him, then took off his gloves and ate a small piece.

"Oooh, spicy but strong," he said, his eyes watering.

"That's the mild stuff.  Xander eats this all the time.  He said it's what makes him so strong and horny."

Danny gave him a horrified look, then moaned and went to find Sheldon.  "Hey, Doc, you got anything for upset stomachs on you?"

"Chewable mylanta in the bag and my field case," he called.  "Why?"

"Xander sent Don this jerky he eats all the time.  Even the mild is really strong," he said, wiping off his cheeks.  He popped open his case and found the jar of antacids, popping two. "Thanks, doc."  He went to scrub off his hands and reglove so he could get back to work.

Sheldon put down what he was doing and took the bottle to Don, putting them into his suitcoat pocket.  "There, in case you need any."

"You want some?"

"No thanks, I had some while we were working down there and I had to watch Xander that day."  He shuddered.  "If you get the runs, take the right medicine for it.  It'll help a bit, and eat soft stuff.  You'll be fine after a few days to a week."

"He said the baby loves it and eats it with him all the time."

"Eric is his son, I'm not surprised," he reminded him.  He went back to his lab, getting back to work.  That jerky did explain why Xander was so tough, strong, and could keep going even when in pain.  Living with a flaming asshole for a week after eating nothing but that jerky, like Xander said he had when he had first made it, would make anyone stronger.  "Feed Mac some," he called when Don walked past.  "He was a Marine."

"True," Don agreed. "It's not bad.  Takes a few bites to get used ta the spices but not bad."  He ate another piece on his way to find Mac and offer him some.  "Mac."  Mac smiled at him so he held out the box.  "The open one's the stronger stuff.  Mild's in the sealed on and it's still kinda spicy."

"Who sent it?"

"Xander.  This is the stuff he eats all the time."  Mac ate a bite of the mild, then choked.  "It's not that bad.  He said it's what makes him the guy he is, strong and horny."  He walked out smiling.  "Hey, Monroe, Xander sent some jerky."

"Oh, no!  I ate some of that while I was helping guard him from the Mala Noches!  No way am I eating more!" she called, running in the other direction.

"Hey, there's somethin' she won't eat," Danny called, smirking as he came out.  He opened his mouth and Don fed him the rest of the piece he had been nibbling.  "I'll forgive the germs," he mumbled as he went off.  He swallowed and looked at his evidence, then groaned as the side effects started.  "Oh, man."  He felt his whole body tense, looking around.  He was nearly desperate.  He saw Stella walking past and went to pounce her in the dark room.   He walked up behind her and drug her in there, then slammed the door, flipping on the 'safe' light.  She made a squeaky noise but by then he was in her mouth and his hands were down her pants and working to make them both happy.

"Danny!"

"Jerky did it to me, Xander's secret recipe," he panted, moving closer. "Please!"

"We'll get caught."

"Mac ate some too."  He kissed her again, desperate now.  She let him do whatever he needed, and they were only interrupted by Mac, who shut the door and locked it behind him.  Then she was surrounded and had to give in.  They were both so desperate it wasn't funny.

Don grinned at Sheldon when he came out to see what the squeaky noises were.  Don nodded at the dark room.  "This is Xander's special jerky."

"I remember," he agreed fondly, smiling at him.  "I almost ripped myself apart.  I couldn't decide if I had the runs or the need to find a woman."  He shook his head and ate a piece, it was a nice night, even if it had been messy by the morning.  He walked off, going to get back to work on Danny's case to clean up his work area.  He wouldn't be making it back to work.  He'd be in the bathroom within the next half an hour. Mac too probably.  Then he went back to his own work, calling downstairs.  "Hey, Sid, Sheldon.  Do you have anything like pepto?  No, Xander's jerky got sent up and Don's loving it, and it's had the side effects I told you about on Mac and Danny so far.  Thanks, man."  He hung up and got back to work, smiling at the continued squeaky noises.  He had imagined Stella to be a screamer but apparently he was wrong.  Unless that was Danny making those noises.  Or Mac.  They were a trio and he shouldn't prejudge where they were staying in the pile-on.  A good CSI waited for evidence to tell him who got what position instead of assuming.

***

Horatio answered his phone, grateful for any reprieve from the paperwork.  "Caine."  He listened to Mac complaining for a minute.  "Are you in the bathroom?" he asked, feeling like he had slipped into an alternate reality. The Mac Taylor he knew would never call from in there.  He heard the growled answer and understood it.  "So, did you get both side effects or just one?"  He smirked.  "The best advice I can give you is cheese and medicine, Mac.  I had the same thing happen and so did the baby.  No, he's fine.  Smiling, happy, potty trained, and out the other side.  Still nuzzling chests when anyone lets him.  Yup, he's a baby Xander."  He smirked.  "It works like that on him too but his stomach didn't have to adjust.  I'm not sure.  Eric had it for a week.  The bigger Eric only had a small piece so he only had a few days worth but his women all quit taking his calls after the first night. Apparently he wore some of them out," he said fondly, smiling as Xander walked in.  "Mac had some of the jerky."

"Tell him I ate nothing but that for a week and it was good," Xander told him.  "I started puberty right after it.  The horniness lasts an extra few days after the runs stop."  He sat down, then got up and pulled something out of the bag he was carrying, putting it on the desk.  "I nibbled at the event but I stole you some."  Horatio smiled. "I didn't even have Ray with me to remind me of my manners, I'm proud of myself for remembering which fork was which."

Horatio unwrapped his lunch of stuffed pork chop and mashed potatoes, finding a plastic fork in his drawer so he wouldn't tear the foil it had been wrapped in.  "Mac, will you survive this?  I know you were a Marine, Mac.  In a week, suggest that the former unit eat his jerky too."  He hung up on more growling. "He wasn't amused."

"It takes all sorts, even those with weak stomachs can be Marines."

Horatio smiled, digging in.  "Get the door?"  Xander closed the door and locked it.  "Eric came to me earlier."

"I'm assuming the bigger one since I heard from Diana about our son's body odor of the moment?"  Horatio nodded. "Something wrong with Marisol?"

"The doctor is suggested if she doesn't go into remission she should start radiation."

"Which means no kids and she's wanted one."

Horatio raised an eyebrow, chewing carefully to give himself time to think.

"She came up and asked if I'd mind her approaching you earlier today, before I left for the luncheon.  I told her I wouldn't mind, that you could make that decision, and if you wanted I would support it because I know she's a wonderful woman who's wanted to be a mother forever, plus we'd have her family's support.  I did say I didn't think you'd do it if you knew it'd hurt her health or her chances of remission in any way.  She said her doctor isn't enthusiastic about it but she's not the first."  Horatio nodded, swallowing.  "We talked for about ten minutes about it and I let her explain her reasons, which were all sound."  Horatio smiled.  "I did agree that it should be yours since she does have that major crush on you and it'd be prettier with your hair and her eyes."

Horatio smiled and nodded.  "You think I should?"

"I'm leaving that up to you, Horatio.  I've got my son.  I don't need more kids, but if you want kids, he or she will be just like Eric is for you, mine.  I'd welcome any child that came to be as long as you weren't covertly cheating on me.  For this, I'd even let you go be with her for a few weeks now and then."  Horatio opened his mouth, so Xander held up a hand.  "I have a real issue with doctors doing it via IVF.  With some of the procedures Willow's seen from the Initiative when they were around and other things I've seen, I wouldn't want there to be any chance of the baby coming to harm that way or any extra material being left anywhere.  It's a quirk of mine but I'm paranoid about people in Black Ops coming for me and mine.  The Watchers have proven they would.  I'm not putting it past them to do it to you because you're mine.  It would be a very big lever to make me do what they want.  Therefore it would have to be done naturally.  I wouldn't mind but I'd be bathing you anytime you came home."

"I understand.  You'd support me?"

"I'd support you fully and I leave it up to you, Horatio.  I'd love the little Horatio as much as you love the little Xander. Especially if it was a daughter, which would kinda piss her momma off.  She wants a grandson."

Horatio smiled and nodded.  "Then I'll consider it.  Eric came up to suggest she might talk to me about it sometime soon but she didn't want to blurt it out some day."

"She did to me and I appreciate that she came to me.  She also said that she wanted it to be yours, which doesn't bother me."  He gave him a gentle smile. "So think and let us all know."  He stood up and stole a kiss. "I'm going to the pool.  You be a good boy."  Horatio smirked at that.  "I'll wear you out when you get home."  He winked and walked off, strolling really.

Horatio finished his lunch, doing the paperwork while he chewed and thought.  He found Eric hovering and waved him in.  "Tell her to come see me herself, Eric.  She went to see Xander."

"He'd agree?"

"He would, but because of people like the Watchers, it'd have to be done the natural way.  Xander's paranoid about them doing something."

"I can see why.  She doesn't know anything about that."

Horatio nodded, smiling at him. "I realize that.  I'm still thinking but we've agreed she can come ask me herself."

"Thank you, H.  You're making my sister very happy."  He jogged off to call her from a more private area, speaking Spanish so less people could understand if they were eavesdropping.

***

Marisol, Eric's sister, walked up to where Horatio was sitting on the beach, sitting beside him.  "I talked with Xander first, I thought it proper to go to your spouse and clear it, that way he would know I wasn't asking you to cheat."

"I understand that and I do appreciate it," he agreed quietly, looking at her.  "I've been thinking all day since Eric came to me and said you were thinking about asking me."  She gave him a hopeful look.  "Xander did have a few conditions.  One of them being that it not be done by a doctor so that no extraneous materials can be stored."  She nodded quickly at that, trying to hide a smile. "In his past are people who would use that," he said quietly.  "The same as there are people who would try to harm you or it if they could find a mother and implant any extra fertilized eggs."

"I talked with Momma and she told me about his past," she agreed quietly, taking his hand to hold.  "I wouldn't want you to break your vows."

"Neither would he, but he did insist it could only be done that way and only for that reason."  She nodded, giving him a less hesitant smile.  "So that means we'd have to plan it, Marisol."

"I understand, Horatio.  He would not hold it against the child?"

"No, the same as I don't hold it against Eric."

"Eric came to be before you two got together," she said wisely.

"Yes, but I have no doubts about Xander loving the baby.  He said so and I believed him.  He loves children."  She nodded, relaxing on that point.  "We would be sharing custody, like we do with Diana."

"Of course."  She gave his hand a squeeze.  "I saw him waiting."

"I didn't think it fair to leave him out of this."  He leaned over to kiss her on the cheek.  "If you wish, I can do this for you," he promised.  She smiled and nodded. "Do you know when you can start tracking things?"

"I'll be fertile next week," she said quietly, looking down.  "I've been tracking it now for a little over a month, since I first started to want it so badly."  She looked at him.  "I had planned on going out and pulling what Eric does, but my mother found out and screamed at me with Eric."  He nodded, Eric could be traditional about some things.  She smirked.  "You heard?"

"I've heard Eric complaining about his sisters who go out and party more than he does."

She snorted.  "I don't think that's possible.  Whatever he ate of Xander's made him wear out some of his ladies and they won't even let him apologize.  My brother has women all over this city.  I was only going to have one or two."  He smiled at that.  "It was risky but a plan I could've lived with.  Until my mother started to call the priest."  He chuckled and nodded, getting that one, giving her hand a squeeze.  "You would break your vows?"

"It won't break my vows, Marisol.  Xander will still love me and I still love him just as much.  Like I said, it'd happen for this purpose only."

"I can agree to that."  She smiled as Xander came over and sat on her other side. "Thank you, Xander."

"Everyone should be able to have one if they want one," he said quietly, taking her other hand to hold.  "I kinda figured you'd ask him sometime."  He grinned at her.  "It happens only to get you pregnant.  No other times or else I will get insanely jealous and destroy the city.  Understood?"  She nodded, letting go of Horatio so she could hug him. "I'm a good daddy, Marisol.  I'll love your daughter just like I do my son."

"Daughter?"

He grinned.  "We need one of each."

She laughed and pinched him.  "Brat."  He nodded, smirking at her. "What did you feed Eric?"

"Some of my special jerky."  He handed it over.  "You can have some too."

"No thank you.  He lived in the bathroom when he wasn't with his women."  She shivered.  "I doubt it would do the same for women."  He grinned and nibbled on a piece.  "I'll be fertile next week."

"Let us know when.  I'll bathe him when he gets home and then put him to bed."  She smiled and nodded.  He kissed her on the temple.  "Now you can tease Eric about having a baby Xander in his family too.  If he pouts, remind him little Eric and I both get to warp the new baby toward our insanity."  She giggled and got up to tell him that since he was waiting.  He grinned at his mate.  "Of course, the baby would be all Horatio-being-Xander, but that's okay.  You do a good impersonation of me now and then, dear."

Horatio pulled him closer, kissing him hard.  "Shut up, Xander."

Xander giggled.  "If you want but you might have to make me."

"Oh, I think I can," he promised, giving him a long look.  Xander shivered and blushed, then got up and headed back to the hummer.  Horatio got up to follow him, waving at Eric so he could take his mate home and make him more sane again.  That jerky gave him incredible stamina in the bedroom and the pool.

***

Ryan came up to where Xander was nibbling and reading, coughing to get his attention.  "Can you please talk my wife out of feeding my son your cooking?" he asked, sitting across from him.

"I can try but in case you hadn't realized it, she's a stubborn bitch about things."  He ate another bite and handed over the jerky bag.  Ryan smiled and ate some.  Xander frowned and dug into his bag, coming up with a sealed jar, handing that over too.  "Mayo, homemade."

"Why is it brown?"

"I'm not sure. I have no idea what I did."  He shrugged.  "The next time you wear her out so bad she thinks she's having chest pains, remind her you're just now starting to eat my jerky and look what it's doing to you.  Tell her it's like steroids, best left until you're at least a teenager."

"I can use that," he agreed, tucking the sample into his own case.  "Do you think that's a toxic weapon?"

"You sure you want a toxic weapon?"

"I've been joking about finding one in your cooking and selling it to the military but Willow told me I can't sell it to them."

"They had problems with the military while I was here.  They had to take down a special ops group. I sent her battle plans when she sent me information."  Ryan gaped.  Xander smirked. "I did graduation," he said quietly, glancing around.  "I can do that."  He pointed at the case. "Take that, mix breath spray and stuff I put into the omelettes.  Whiz in a blender, then add another two teaspoons of breath spray at the end, spray on something.  It'll die."

"What quantities of the first group?"

"One ounce each. Shouldn't need much more than that."

"Okay."  He took out his notepad and wrote it down. "Thank you."  Xander just grinned.  "Used it?"

"On something that reminded me of sasquatch."  He stood up.  "You can have the rest of that jerky, it's still fairly mild.  Also remind her she can't eat it, therefore her kid might not be able to either."  Ryan nodded, beaming at that. "How goes the judge thing?"

"I got my first billboard today," he said proudly.  "Eric picked on me all morning."

"Eric needs to get laid again," he noted dryly. He shrugged.  "They'll calm down and come running back or he'll get new women.  I'm still supporting you."

"Someone asked about my legal qualifications."

"Tell them the truth.  You've got so many years as a cop, you're two-thirds done with your JD degree.  You're doing it by correspondence.  You'd be a by-the-book guy with a good eye toward what was legal and what isn't.  You've had to deal with search warrants in the past and know what's expected.  You've seen it from both sides now and you think you can bring some humanity and common sense back into the courtroom when the law doesn't make any.  If they ask you specifics, start on 'as a cop I saw this sort of situation' and make sure you don't name names."

Ryan smiled. "Thank you, Xander.  You're the best unofficial helper I've ever had."

"Ehh, not a problem.  I'm good helping you because it gets an idiot off the bench.  Even if you do have to disappoint them on some weak warrants, they'll understand and only be a little bit hurt when you nudge them in the right direction."

"Good point," he agreed, smiling at him.  "I'm hoping I don't get any gay cases."

"Me too.  The laws are very unfair in most of those matters."  He shrugged. "They were written by old white men who used to own slaves for the most part.  Time's changed and we're slowly changing it, it'll happen hopefully in my lifetime."

"I hope so too.  Thank you for your support."

"Not an issue.  Did you like the anti-old judge ad?"  He smirked and walked off.

Ryan chuckled.  He had liked the 'cartoon mouse who argued a case in front of the old judge and humiliates him with his lack of knowledge' ad Xander had run as a private citizen.  Nothing linking the foundation to it.  Nothing linking Xander to it besides his actual name on the bottom of the screen in tiny little letters. He ate another piece of jerky and got up to go back to the lab.  He had to try that out if he could get Horatio's permission to let Xander cook those things. The secret had to be in Xander's cooking somewhere.  No one else could screw up things this way.  On the way back, he treated that vial of 'mayo' like it was liquid nitro and fragile.  It might just explode on him, no one was sure.

***

Xander walked into the station, seeing the scared look on the guard's face. "I got summoned?"

"By the military," he muttered.

"Fucking hell," he sighed.  He waved his pass under the reader and pushed the button.  "Thanks, Paul."

"Welcome, Xander.  Got any more of that jerky?"

"Not on me.  Ryan might.  He's been eating it because Willow's having spicy cravings."  He waved as he got into the elevator.  "Laters, I hope."  The doors closed and he headed up there, getting off on the right floor.  He saw Calleigh's look and shrugged. "What did I do this time?  Besides make more jerky this morning."

"We're not sure.  They're locked with Ryan and Horatio in his office."

"Ah.  Okay.  I'm going to go up there and defend my mate."  He headed up the stairs, then knocked and walked in.  Ryan sighed in relief.  "What?  The jerky too strong?"

"No. They want to know about the liquid venom you gave me the recipe for."

Xander looked at him and shrugged.  "I discovered it on accident.  Cooking and I don't get along."  The military guys glared.  "Seriously.  I can make three things.  Packaged meals I only have to add milk or water to, my special jerky, and my breath spray."  He handed over his container.  "That's in there."  They gave it a dubious look so he sprayed his mouth, licking his lips.  "Hhmm, losing strength already.  Must be reacting to the heat."  He pointed it at the corner of Horatio's desk, watching as the paint bubbled a bit.  Then he handed it back.  They tested it and hissed at the taste.  "It tastes perfectly fine to me and my son."

"Sir, are you a pepper head?"

"No.  I'm a Xander.  We're unique.  Ask anyone."  Ryan and Horatio both nodded at that.  "Somehow, for some reason, anything I cook goes wrong.  He had samples of what I had made before because he's trying to figure out what's toxic among it.  I know we've used it as an interrogation technique in the past when a case got desperate, like a child running out of time."  They both stared at him.  "What Ryan had was a mix of three things: that breath spray, my special mayo, and my omelette mixture.  Whiz it together, then add in another two teaspoons of breath spray when it's done to thin it out.  Things die. I can even kill roaches with it.  Which is what I usually use it for, and the occasional beach rat."

"Would you consider letting us watch you cook these items and mix it so we can see what you're doing wrong?" one of them asked.

"As long as Ryan gets equal credit, it doesn't get used against protestors, it doesn't fall into the wrong hands, and I'll be damned if it gets used by another special ops group trying to take over a town."  They gave him heated looks.  "I'm from Sunnydale.  My town nearly got taken by one of them."  They stepped back.  "I helped with that long distance when asked.  I don't like mind control experiments.  As for taping it or something, sure.  My husband can do that.  You can play nicely with him, hopefully, and Mr. Wolfe."

"We can agree to those terms, sir," one of them decided, shaking his hand.  "We'll work out any payment arrangements with them?"

"My husband takes care of all financial matters since I'm an airhead about that stuff."

"Xander," Horatio warned. "Do not put yourself down."

"I mis-balanced the checkbook by nearly ten grand, Horatio."

"Under or over?" Ryan asked.

"Math error."

"Carried an extra one?"

"Forgot," Xander admitted.  He shrugged. "I'm an idiot at times."  Horatio glared.  "I am!"

"Put yourself down again and I'm paddling you.  Then I'll ship you off to Mac to apologize in person."

"Yes, dear."

"Mac...." one of the military guys asked.  He only knew one Mac that could possibly scare this guy or his husband Caine, and they were CSIs too.  "Taylor, in New York?"  Horatio nodded.  "How do you know him?"

"We're basically sister cities and we did some crossing over for cases and as an experiment to switch personnel," Ryan offered. "I loved working under Mac, he was a nice guy with very clear-cut rules at times.  The same way Horatio can be."

The guys nodded.  "Have Taylor watch you do it," they ordered Xander. "Have him tape it.  All that stuff.  We'll arrange any payment with your spouse.  I do not want you using it as a domestic weapon."

"Only around the house.  If I have to use pepper spray on someone, I just kick their ass."

"Good.  We like that," the second military guy agreed happily. "We've got Detective Wolfe's sample and we're off to test it within those bounds.  Thank you, Mr. Harris."  He nodded and watched as they walked out.

"Xander, do not put yourself down ever again," Horatio warned.  "It was a simple math error."

"Still stupid of me to make it."  He looked at Ryan.  "Took the bank guy nearly an hour to figure out what I had done."  Ryan smirked at that, nodding a bit.  "Really felt stupid then."  He flopped down on the couch.  "Mac's coming down when?"

"Next month."

"We should probably call him.  I'll set up the camera and tape myself making a batch tonight since I'm out of the rat killer.  Oh, it doesn't work on Eric."  He stood up.  "He sprayed it on his foot and it burned but nothing else.  His mommy was not impressed but she remembered that stuff and yelled about locking cabinets for under the sink."

"I'll put those on tonight," Horatio agreed.

"I can do that."  Horatio looked at him.  "I can!"  He pouted. "I'm trying to be good."

"Try harder," Horatio warned.  Xander smirked, bouncing over to kiss him.  "Do you know where the camcorder is?"

"Mine or yours?"

"You have one?"

"Yeah, somewhere."  He grinned. "Can we take a vacation this year?"

"If you want.  Where did you want to go?"

"The convention with all of us again?"

"I'll see what I can do," he agreed, smiling just a bit.

"Cool!"  He bounded out, going to head home and fix a batch of that stuff.  He even changed discs and set up Horatio's to capture two different angles.  The disc from his had him trying out an old dance routine that he never quite got the hang of, and it wasn't really sexy either.  The phone rang while he was checking the angles.  "Yuppers?"  He smiled at Mac's quiet voice.  "They want me to make a batch and tape it, Mac.  No, not the jerky.  Nope.  No, I've got something that when I mix a few recipes together I get a rat killing thing. They wanted you to watch me anyway.  No, I'm doing one and taping it then you can watch me.  Why?"  He listened then grinned. "Want some of my breath spray?  Horatio used it to make a kidnaper beg.  It's kinda strong.  Sure.  Ask Don if he's got any. I sent him some with the jerky.  It smells like mint, Mac.  That stuff, yeah!" he agreed happily.  "Who took it from him?  Oh, Sheldon.  No, it's okay.  I'll send some up the Willow way."  He hung up and went to make up a new spray vial.  He attached a note about heat possibly making it weaker, then called Willow.  "Me.  Can you please send the small silver and glass spray bottle in front of me to Mac's desk?  Thank you."  He hung up and got back to work, making sure by replay that he wasn't blocking any of the shots with his body.

***

Don looked up as a small bottle landed in front of him, catching it before it could roll off.  "Thanks," he muttered.  He sniffed it and winced.  "Mint."  He got up and went to find Mac, who had text messaged everyone in the labs to be on the lookout for it, that he had 'lost' it.  He waved the bottle.  "New batch too.  Really strong."  He coughed, spraying it at the wall.  The paint didn't bubble so he sniffed it again.  "No, it's the right stuff."  He looked at Mac, then tasted it, gagging.  "No," he wheezed.  "Right stuff."  He handed it over.  "Super breath freshener. What sort of paint is that?"  He wiped his eyes off.

"New.  Brand new."  He walked into the interrogation room.  "The Mayor said we can't give out more bottles of water but you can have the breath spray.  That should help some."  The man looked at it, then tasted it, hollering and hopping around. "Now, where's the kid?"  The only thing he got were whimpers and the guy fanning his mouth.

Danny looked at it, then sniffed it.  "Xander's breath spray?"  Mac nodded.  "No wonder the guy never has to brush his teeth."  He held it out as far as his arm could go and sprayed some, wincing.  "Ooh, strong enough to take the taste of the jerky outta my mouth."  He got up to get a drink from the nearby fountain.  He brought back a cup.  "We're sorry, that's cruel and unusual punishment.  Now, where's your victim?" he asked, pushing it over.

The guy gulped it.  "Gramercy," he muttered between sips.  "My walls."

"Thank you," Danny agreed happily. "Sorry about that.  If we had known how strong it was, we wouldn't have given it to you until right before you took the boat to Rikers."  He got up and handed Mac the vial.  "Maybe you should put that somewhere safe."

"I should," he agreed, going to stick it into his desk drawer so they could test it later.  He wrote Horatio an email about wanting tape of how Xander made the breath spray.  He got one back nearly immediately saying it was part of that new bio-weapon Ryan had discovered Xander could make.  "Bioweapon?  Really?"  He sent back a question and got one back from Ryan a few minutes later.  The ingredients that made up it, or more like the recipes really.  He frowned.  "How did Xander make those into a hazardous material?"

"It's Xander," Stella called.  "Remember, you don't eat Xander's cooking unless it comes from a pouch or a box."

"Or it's the jerky," he called back.

She stormed in. "You ever eat that jerky again and you're never getting sex," she threatened.  "I can barely sit after four days because of the last time."  She headed off, stomping now.

"Sorry!" he called.  "At least it was the mild stuff," he muttered.  "Poor Don had to go to the clubs to wear out his since he was eating the stronger stuff."

***

Xander looked up from his reading as someone knocked on the door, getting up to answer it.  He saw Ray Sr there with Madison and scowled. "Princess, shouldn't you be in the hospital?"  He let them in, picking her up to cuddle. "Did you escape?"  She beamed and nodded. "Does your mommy know?"

"Yes, the doctors said a day off could be good for her so I took her to the park," Ray said blandly.  "Horatio?"

"Work for another few hours."  He checked outside, nodding at the security guard, who came over and whispered in his ear.  He looked at him.  "I hadn't thought about that.  The one of you left who's on Marisol, how is she doing?"

"She's fine, at her doctor's today."  He patted Madison on the back of the head. "She's a brilliant little girl, Xander."  He smiled at him.  "Did Horatio decide yet about our jobs?"

"Not yet but you can ask."  That got a smile.  "I have no idea what I'd have you do beyond what you're doing now either."

"That's fine.  Like I said, she's a brilliant little girl. Her mother seems very sweet too."   He smoothed down some of the red hair then walked off.  "I'll be back at the hospital talking to Suzie."

"Sure.  Call if there's an issue."  He waved and shut the door, walking her outside to the table so she could watch the water.  She and her uncle both did that so she smiled at him.  "I'd get Eric over but his mommy's mad at me.  I let him eat my cooking."  She giggled and swatted at him.  "He's my boy, he can handle it.  That's why he's a Xander-son."  She grinned and settled against his chest, watching the water.  "Tired, princess?"  She nodded.  "Ray, can you get her some water?"  He nodded, going to get that.  "Throat hurt too?"  She looked up and nodded.  "I understand that. I had a lot of those when I was little too."

"Were you sick like me?"

"Not quite that bad, but I had my bad days."  He stroked down her back.  "Did you enjoy the park?"  She nodded, giving him a sleepy smile.  "You can nap if you want, Madison.  She snuggled in, getting comfortable.  He handed her the water, which she drank but didn't shift or move.  "So, what's up, Ray?"

"Where's my son?"

"Hit the second speed dial on the phone and tell him she's here."

"Thanks."  He went to do that, coming back a minute later.  "Detention."

"For...?"

"Mouthing off apparently.  Told a teacher the Civil War had many reasons?"

"It did.  Economic and otherwise.  Slavery was a major issue but you don't go to war over only one issue.  War is too complex for that," he offered quietly.  Ray nodded and sat down.  "Did you have fun?"

"I had a lot of fun but she's very frail."

"Yeah, but she was getting better the last time I talked with Suzie.  She said the frail and tired stretch would get better and Madison was going to come out the other side soon."  The door opened then shut.  "Out here."  Eric came out.  "Hey, what's up?"

"Pool?"

"When Ray Jr. gets here."

"Sure."  He stroked over Madison's hair.  "Poor thing.  Her and Marisol both."  He and Xander shared a look.  "Thank you."

"Not a problem, Eric.  It makes them both happy."  Eric smiled.  "Besides, I need a daughter to warp into a suitable Xander-daughter."  He laughed, sitting down next to him.  Ray gave him a confused look.  "Marisol wanted to have a child and she's nearly as ill as Madison is," he said quietly.  "She offered it to Horatio."

"You're letting him?"

"Yes.  I'll be bathing him when he gets home and he can't do it any other time, but yeah.  He wants a child of his own and I'm good and realistic, plus nice, about that."  Ray shrugged.  The door opened and Ray Jr. walked in with Horatio.  "Short detention?"

"Long detention.  School gets out earlier and Mom's engine crapped out."  He came out and stole Madison, getting a sleepy giggle.  "Hi, precious."  She squeezed.  "Oooh, so strong."  He sat down with her, patting her on the back.  "I thought I was meeting you at the park."

"We thought you had forgotten."

"I called Mom."

"Oh.  I left my cell at the house."  Ray nodded at that.  "She asked me earlier about Disney?"

"We're going for a weekend near Christmas," Xander agreed.  Horatio looked at him.  "Okay, Ray, Ryan, Willow, Todd, me, Eric, Marisol, and baby Eric are going for a weekend near Christmas, dear, and you can come too."  He smiled sweetly.  Horatio laughed and nodded.  "I've already gotten everything together and arranged.  I dropped the paperwork off on your desk yesterday."

"I was wondering why I had leave forms," he admitted. "I'm sure we'll have a lot of fun," he agreed, kissing him.  "Aren't you and Eric supposed to be heading for the pool?"  Xander nodded, getting up to get his gym bag, Eric following.  "Ray, I've called your mother and told her about her engine problems."

"It wasn't my fault.  I put it into park and shut it off.  It decided it didn't want to come back to life."

"Is it a monster?" Madison asked.

"My mother's engine?  Some days, a really outdated dragon."  He tickled her, making her shriek and giggle, swatting at him with a look under her lashes.  "Your adorable!  I can't wait to see you in mouse ears."

"I'll look good as Minnie?"

"I think you will.  You'll look stunning as Minnie," Ray assured her.  "We'll get you the whole costume, okay?"  She nodded, snuggling in again.  "You rest if you need it, princess. It's your first day free in a while."

"Mean and nasty people came up to mommy and said I should be in school."

"Well, you're the right age, but unless the hospital has one, you can't go until they say so," Ray said thoughtfully.

"I called and chewed them a new one," Xander called as he headed for the kitchen.  "There were not impressed and she can test out of kindergarten as long as she can master the basic skills necessary.  Since she can read, write, color, and make playdo animals, all she's got left is math."  He walked out and put his debit card in front of Ray.  "You will take her to one of the educational bookstore places, the places where teachers get stuff.  You will get her workbooks, regular books, and other stuff.  Then you'll take her to a real bookstore so she can share some of her older ones with the other kids on the floor.  Is that all right, Madison? You can keep your very favorites, but let the other kids borrow some, okay?"  She nodded, beaming at him. "Good girl.  Ray can even help you find workbooks with things like stickers, I hope."  She grinned and hugged him.  "Got it, Ray?"  He smiled and nodded. "Today.  They're coming to test her in a few days."  He stood up and smiled.  "Get her some new coloring books too."  He kissed his mate, making Madison giggle and clap, then headed out.  "So, is Marisol and your mom going to insist the baby go to Catholic school?"

"Probably," Eric agreed with a smile. "What about my namesake?"

"I have no idea.  His mother's thinking about daycares and what's good and what'll help him get ahead.  I told her to find one that liked play because if he had a uniform at his age he'd end up wearing one for life."  He got into the car, his bag hitting the floor boards.  "She wants him to go to one where he'll learn languages."

"He's at a good age for it," Eric admitted, buckling up.  He turned the key but Xander took it and got out.  "What?"

"Gunshot!"  He looked around, tossing back the key. "Horatio!"  He came to the door. "I just heard a gunshot."

"I thought it was up the beach," he admitted, looking around, scanning their neighbor's homes. Eric got out with a sigh. "Take him and go, Eric.  Ray and Ray can take Madison.  If I need to I can get backup."

"Sure."  Xander got back in, making sure his bag was inside and buckling up as Eric drove down the driveway and turned.

Horatio heard another one and pulled out his phone.  "Dispatch, this is Lieutenant Caine.  Reporting two shots fired in my neighborhood, not sure where yet.  Requesting patrol for a house-to-house."

"ETA ten minutes, Lieutenant.  How many houses?"

"Six."  He hung up and went inside. "Ray, take her and your son and go.  That was a second shot."  He heard a third and hurried out, he knew where that was now.  He could hear their dogs.  He pounded on his neighbor's door, getting a frowning woman. "Not your house?"

"Next door.  The dogs are barking.  Should I report?"

"I've got it."  He pulled back out his phone. "Dispatch, found the house.  Third shot fired, approaching now."  He headed that way, hand on his gun, scanning the yard and the house for any movement.  He knocked on the door.  "Miami-Dade PD!  Open up!"  He heard screams so pulled his gun and kicked in the door, heading inside, scanning each room.  "Miami-Dade PD.  Come out with your hands up!"

"Help him!"

Horatio headed back to the kid's voice, finding the gun at his feet, his parents nearly dead.  "Dispatch, need a double ambulance.  Two GSW, male and female."  He put his phone back.  "Tyler, is there anyone else here?"

"I thought it was her lighter!" he said frantically, wiping his hands off.

"Sit!" he ordered.  The kid sat at the table and he checked them, waving the patrol guys in.  "Clear!"

"My little brother's in his room," he said.

"Don't move," Horatio warned.  The kid sat back down so he sent the officer to find him.  He came out shaking his head.  "No not in there?"

"In there, sir, third victim," he said quietly. "He's already gone."

Horatio swallowed, looking at the boy.  "Take him in with you.  Get the paramedics in here now."  That got a nod, one going to get them while the other put the boy in the car for a few minutes.  They could talk to him later.  He heard the knock.  "Don't."

"Need me?" Ray called.

"No, take the kids and go, Ray.  I need you gone.  This is a crime scene."

"Sure."  He headed off with the kids, passing by the ambulance.

Horatio stood up as they came in.  "There's not much you can do," he offered quietly.  They nodded, getting to work while he waited for his team.  Calleigh showed up, giving him a horrified look.  "He said he thought it was his mother's lighter gun.  Then we found his little brother."

"So, sociopath?" she asked.

"Possibly.  Or abuse but I doubt it."  He looked at himself, then around.  "The brother was in his room.  That's the gun.  The officers have Tyler."

"Sure.  Want me to do it?"  He nodded, heading for home.  "Write up a statement for me, Horatio."

"I'll do that once I shower and change, Calleigh."

"Okay, I'll get it on the way out.  I'm calling Speed."

"Please do."  He glanced at Tyler, seeing his pleased look.  He went home to shower and change, then wrote out his statement for her.  Speed came over to get it.  "Anything?"

"Kid's fingerprints on the gun," he said quietly. "Manic grin on his face. Did you ever have a hint of abuse?"  He shook his head.  "What sort of parents were they?"

"Doing the best they could with a child who was smarter than them," he said quietly.  "They were always asking Xander's advice on video games and things since he was still in the 'hip' age range and none of the other kids in the neighborhood were close to his age."  Speed nodded, making notes on that.  "Xander told them he seemed to want the violent ones and warned them what to look for.  I have to tell him."

"Call Eric.  He'll tell him." Horatio nodded at that wisdom.  "You know what school he went to?"

"Ray's.  He's out with his father and Madison, getting workbooks and things."

"I've got a stack in my closet for her too," he admitted, calling him.  "Junior, Speed.  I need to talk to you about a classmate and head to my place, dude.  I've got stack in the closet for her myself.  That way you don't overlap."  He smiled.  "Yeah, I did hit the educational shop on eighth.  They did?  Good.  Yeah, no, we're on your uncle's neighbor's scene.  One of your classmates.  Tyler, yeah, how did you know?"  He listened, then took more notes.  "Who do I talk to and do you have a number?"  He wrote that down.  "Thanks, man.  Have fun and pat her for me."  He hung up.  "He's showing antisocial behavior at school too.  Ray said he's a bully."  He sighed and looked over there, then back at Horatio.   "Did Xander hear the shots?"

"He heard the first.  I sent him off.  At the second I called it in and asked for someone to do a house-to-house.  The third I knew."  Speed nodded at that, reading over his statement.  "The parents didn't say a word.  They were holding hands and just stared at me."

"They knew, Horatio.  If he did this for that sort of reason, he'll pay.  They've got places for the mini serial killers these days."  He went back there.

Horatio went to sit on his porch, watching the surf to calm himself down.  He called Eric.  "It's me," he said into his voicemail.  "We found out who it was.  Tell him it was Tyler, he got his parents and his brother. I'm waiting for updates."  He hung up and went back to watching the surf.  Thin arms went around his neck. "Marisol."  He looked back at her.  "What's wrong?"

"I heard there was a scene up the street from your house.  Eric called.  Said you shouldn't be alone if you weren't working it."  She sat beside him, giving him a gentle smile. "Are they in the pool?"  He nodded.  "Eric is so happy to be back there."

"Xander too.  He's not sure about competing but he's still training and it's getting Eric back into training as well. Eric could compete and Xander cheer him on."  She smiled at that, chuckling a bit.  "They're not sure if his past will come out if he competes.  They're still talking about that."  He stood up. "Want a drink?"

"I could use some water or tea."  She got up to follow him.   That's when she saw the door open. "Horatio!"

He came out of the kitchen with his gun in his hand.  "You wanted?" he asked calmly.

"Oh, invite me in," he taunted.

Horatio looked him over, noticing the space of darkness around his head.  He called Ryan.  "Where might your wife be?  Because I've got a vampire with a circle of darkness around him, Mr. Wolfe.  I also have no idea where Xander keeps his stake."  He listened.  "Thank you."  He hung up and went into the bedroom, digging into Xander's footlocker in the bottom of his closet.  He came out with a crossbow and put it in plain sight, making the vampire growl.  "I'm Harris' mate.  Do not try it."

Willow walked up behind the vampire and tapped him on the neck.  "That's really neat.  Who does that?"  He growled at her and she beamed.  "In case you didn't get the memo, I'm Rosenburg."  She snapped her fingers and the darkness disappeared, making him burst into flame.  "Pity."  She walked into the house, smiling at Horatio.  "Can I have some of Xander's mild jerky?"

"Your husband said no."  He went back into the kitchen, putting his gun back.  He came out with bottles of water.  "Your husband said that the jerky was dangerous to your pregnancy."

"How did you know?"

"Your husband, Willow.  I work with him.  He has to tell me these things."  She grimaced then pouted.  "Don't try it."

"No baby Xander?"

"His mother, Willow."  She pouted.  "Do you know Eric's sister Marisol?  Marisol, this is Willow, Ryan Wolfe's wife."

She smiled and shook her hand. "Hi.  He's got to bring you to the next cookout."

Willow beamed.  "I'll tell him. Have someone tell me so I can make him go."  Marisol giggled.  "He's a fussy person at times."  She pouted at Horatio. "Please?"

"No, Willow.  Todd is too young for it, it could make you miscarry, and you can't eat it anyway, Xander said you had troubles eating his cooking."

"Fine," she pouted.  "Meany."

He patted her on the head. "We like you anyway, even when you do have mood swings."  He handed her a bottle of water.  "Any other reason you're here since it's his and Eric's day in the pool together?"

"Yes."  She led him back into the kitchen.  "Horatio, I'm scared."

"About losing your magic?" he asked quietly.   She nodded quickly.  "It'll go to your daughter and you'll make sure she has more control than you," he said gently, stroking her cheek.  "You'll make sure she learns the correct ways, doesn't do what you did, and won't be tainted as you were."

"What happens if we need it for an emergency?"

"Willow, there are others who have the skills," he said quietly.  "Including Xander."  She shook her head.  He nodded. "He can.  I know he doesn't want to, he doesn't trust it in himself after watching your problems, but even Ethan's said he's got the ability."

"Oh."  She looked down then pouted at him.  "Do you think it'll come back if I need it?"

"I can't answer that.  All we can do is wait and see."

"Pray," Marisol offered.

Willow nodded. "I've asked the Goddess, she hasn't done more than make the baby happy and want fudge."  She looked at Horatio again.  "That's my choice?"

"Even if you didn't have her, it wouldn't matter.  You can feel it, Willow, that's what this panic is."  She nodded, giving him a hug.  "It'll be all right.  Remember, Miami is not Sunnydale and those things don't happen here.  If and when they do, you have backup in myself, Xander, and the team.  Remember that."

"I know," she agreed, relaxing against him. "Thank you."

"All you three needed family and backup.  You didn't have it there, Willow.  Now you do and it's been a hard adjustment but you do have people at your back."

"Why are there ashes on the doorstep?" Speed called as he walked in. "Marisol."

"Speed," she said, smiling and hugging him.

"You feel stronger today."

"Horatio has granted a wish for me."

"I heard from Xander."  He patted her on the cheek.  "Horatio, vampire?"

"Came up to the door, Speed."

"It's light out."

"He had a darkness umbrella," Willow told him.  "I ended it and he went 'ahhh' and turned into a short bonfire."

Marisol looked at her.  "You do things like that often?"

Speed looked at her.  "Eric's said your mom said stuff about Boca del Inferno."  She shuddered and crossed herself.  "She and Xander grew up there."  Marisol burst out crying and hugged her.  "It explains so much about Xander, doesn't it?" he asked with a smirk.

"It explains how he can eat that jerky," she agreed, shaking her head.  "Where is your son?"

"Napping on his daddy's chest.  He loves the daddy and decided he'd rather be unfussy for daddy than me.  Better he have him than my temper goes off."

Marisol nodded.  "I know.  My sister's children all did that."  She smiled at Horatio.  "I'll know in a few weeks."

"Thank you."  He smiled at her.

"H, do I have to hide your body?" Speed asked patiently.

"Xander agreed," she assured him.  "I talked to him first."

"Good.  I'm glad about that."  He grinned at her.  "That means I'm the official grandfather."

"It's mine, Speed."

He looked at him then burst out laughing.  "Any baby near Xander is Xander's.  Willow's, any I have, yours, any one near Xander is Xander's."  He patted her on the cheek.  "It'll be all right.  You and your mom can help Eric make sure the baby doesn't turn into a miniature Xander, like Eric will be.  That's the only hope you have of not having an army of little Xander's around here."

"Ryan would never let that happen," Willow said firmly.  "My son will be his son, not Xander's son."

Speed snickered and nodded.  "Sure, Willow, and yet you want to feed him Xander food, you've dressed him in Xander shirts.... seeing a Xander pattern?"

She pouted.  "My Todd will not be a Xander."  She stomped her foot.

Horatio smiled at her. "We'll see, won't we."

She growled.  "My Todd is Ryan's son.  He'll have OCD like his daddy and all that."  She pouted.  "He'll have to. Ryan said so."

"With the way the kids are being raised, only Eric will be a mini-Xander.  Todd will be a cross between Ryan and Xander.  Marisol's future one will be a cross between Eric and Xander."

"It's Horatio's," she reminded him.

"Yes, but Horatio can do a mean Xander impersonation," Speed told her.  "So it'll be like he's Horatio doing Xander and crossed with Eric."

"That's a scary thought," Marisol admitted, looking at Horatio.

"You knew I was married to Xander," he said happily.

"I did," she agreed, hugging him.  "It's all right, Eric and Momma will make sure the baby's more like him and you than Xander."

Willow looked at her.  "It might be a hopeless cause.  Xander is like the tide.  When he's in your life, he'll wash over it like the tide, clean you out, remake you, then make you realize you can't do without him.  Bad cooking and all.  Is hers going to get the Xander food treatment?"

"No," Marisol said firmly.  "Not until he's a teenager."

Willow smiled at her. "Ryan found out how to make a Xander killing spray."

"Which burned little Eric's foot," Horatio admitted.  "Three foods that Xander can make and mix together," he told Speed.

"I saw the military and wondered."

"The rat and roach spray," Horatio told him.

Speed moaned.  "Well, it probably won't kill humans."  He shook his head.  "Calleigh went back to talk to the kid.  She said he confessed and bragged."

"I wonder sometimes what makes kids like that," he said sadly.  Willow poked him on the arm.  "You know Tyler?"

"Two houses up next to the baying hunting hounds?"  He nodded.  "He okay?"

"He shot his whole family earlier," Speed told her.

"Fuck."  Marisol gave her a horrified look.  "Kids like that make me want to kick their asses.  I know damn well that kid wasn't abused.  I mean, hello, I saw it up close and personal!  I know damn good and well that boy wasn't abused.  Spoiled, bright, bored.  Xander asked me for his parents to get the kid something to take his attention."

"They talked to him a lot," Horatio agreed. "The sad part is, they weren't crying, just holding hands. Didn't say a word when he told me it was an accident."

Willow muttered something in a language no one in the house spoke.  Speed gave her a look. "Mine's not old enough to have ears yet!"

"Keep it up, watch the kid come out swearing and then watch Ryan have a heart attack when his son swears in demon."

"Eric does," she said with a smirk.

"Excuse me?" Horatio asked. "Since when?"

"Ah, you didn't hear the mutterings when the dog wouldn't play with him? Sounds a lot like what Xander says when he hits his thumb."  They shared a look.  "Di won't have to worry about him being multi-lingual.  Xander and I both are."  He groaned and grabbed the phone to call her.

"Di, Horatio.  Have you noticed the baby speaking something that sounded like a tape played backwards?"  He held his head.  "No, he learned swearing off his father.  That's a demonic language that Xander swears in when he hurts himself.  Yeah, that."  He shook his head.  "Well, Xander did say that you were thinking about language daycares.  The good news is that Willow reminded me Xander is multi-lingual.  No, not all demonic.  Egyptian, Willow?"

"And Greek, Summerian I think.  I know recently he's been looking for a good Russian textbook.  He figured you could teach him Spanish the hard way."  Horatio smirked at that.  "Whispering it in his ear works.  He mostly reads instead of speaks.  He speaks two of the more common demon languages in case we need it.  I speak the same and read about eight more than he does."

Speed looked at Marisol.  "And yet, Xander says repeatedly he's dumb."

She nodded. "I noticed that.  He keeps telling Eric he'll be smarter than he is.  Can we swat him?"

"I do," he assured her.

Willow looked at him, glaring.  "Do not hit the Xander," she said firmly.  "Never, ever hit the Xander.  You hit the Xander and I will kick your ass.  You or Horatio.  Ever."  He nodded, backing away.

"We would never hurt him, Willow."

She glared at him.  "Unless he asks you to spank him for fun, don't even think about it, Horatio.  I had to save him from others and hurt them to save him.  What makes you think I won't do the same to you and anyone who hurts him down here?"

"I'd never hurt him, you know that," he said calmly, hanging up.

"So!" she snorted.

"Willow."  He moved closer.  "I would never hurt Xander.  You know that," he said, nodding a bit.  "Xander is perfectly safe with me.  Even if he screwed up majorly some time far in the future, I would never hurt him.  I'm not that sort of man."

"Which is why this will stay a warning," she pointed out, staring into his eyes.  Horatio nodded, accepting that.  "Remember, Jesse and I got him free of the guy with the leash and a few others.  He may not be here anymore but he's still watching and he'll tell me if I need to protect him. Magic or no magic.  I may not be the hunter he is, but yay."

"I know.  If someone hurts him, I get to go first and then you can yell and beat them if we can't arrest them."

She snorted.  "Yeah, Horatio.  Like they'll live that long."  She smirked. "Someone takes Xander hostage and he can't get free, I've got a telltale on him.  I'll hand him back to you."  She looked at Marisol again, taking her arm. "We should go maternity clothes shopping together," she said, walking her outside.

"She'll be scarier without her magic," Speed offered quietly.

Horatio took a deep breath and calmed himself down.  "I'm still not like that."

"I know. He knows."  Horatio nodded, calming himself down.  "Think about it, H.  His parents turned on him.  She's scared you'll do it."

"I'm still not like that."

"She'll relax as time goes on.  Remember, neither of them are used to being part of a strong, healthy family.  Eric's family still scares Xander now and then."  He nodded, realizing that.  "I'd like to take both their parents and kick their asses."

"Mine were fine, just really lax," Willow said, poking him on the back.  She gave him a look.  "After all, they knew I was watching out for Xander.  They had no idea what to do with me, but they knew I was watching out for him.  Xander's my brother in blood and vowed.  Even the Goddess won't separate us for long."

"If he's killed from something...."

"Then I'll help Horatio destroy the world."  She shrugged. "Those we care for will be safe.  The rest of the people who did it can go to hell quickly, I'll help open the hellmouth to give 'em an elevator."  She smiled sweetly.  "No one takes the Xander and doesn't pay. Ever."  She hugged him.  "I'm done being scary.  Sorry if I scared you guys.  Sorry, Marisol."

"Xander inspires people to be protective," she reminded her.  "I want to take him home to Momma and let her coddle and coo over him.  He seems to need it."

"His parents were shitbags," she agreed.  "Sold him once."  Marisol gasped.  "Jesse and I got him free, but they made me give him back.  Xander's very normal considering.  I'm a good mommy of him, that's why I know Todd will turn out more like Ryan than Xander.  I've already made a Xander."  Marisol hugged her.  "Hey, I had the good parents.  They were just ignoring of me," she soothed.  "Hug the Xander if you can catch him."  She got free and grinned.  "I should go pounce my mate and tell him I worried you guys.  Don't tell Xander I said that?"  She disappeared, blinking home.

Horatio sighed and rubbed his face.  "She made sure Xander made it to adulthood as normal as she could.  She and Jesse were the only family he had.  They were family for each other."

"So it's like a family that a gang forms?" she asked.  He nodded.  "Interesting."

"The baby will still be fine, Marisol," he reminded her.

She snorted. "I have no doubt the child will be spoiled, over-protected, and taught to defend himself.  I've seen how he is with Eric.  I have no doubts that my child will be taken care of in a manner that I can only sigh at the over-indulgences he gives them.  I know very well Xander will never hurt a child."

Speed grinned.  "You sure you want Horatio's child?" he teased.

"Very.  A normal child would be nice."  She hugged him, then Horatio.  "I go in two Tuesdays from now for the test.  You can come or I'll come to the office. Either way."

"You'll come tell me."  She nodded, kissing him on the cheek.  Someone pounded on the door before walking in.  "Kitchen, boys."

Ray Jr. walked in.  "I dropped the sperm donor off at his motel.  Madison is back at the hospital with so many books the nurses cooed and asked if they could photocopy them.  We assured her it was fine and that Madison was going to be weeding out her book collection so others could borrow some."  Horatio smiled at that.  "Speed bought her sixty books."

"I did," he agreed.  "Some reading, some workbooks, some coloring books."

"That's what we did.  We asked for things appropriate to a first grader or that age.  That way she's got something to extend her mind instead of just letting her play.  I also found a few language games that Suzie can play with her.  They were highly recommended.  I also dropped off the check you wanted me to give them, Uncle Horatio."  He smirked at him, getting one in return.  "They agreed they could use it to get more books, bears, and stuff for educational play."  He leaned on the counter, arms crossed over his chest.  "I helped her weed out her books and the nurses carried them to the play area.  The other parents all smiled and said thank you.  That she was a lovely little girl and clearly loved by her family.  I got her a chicken sandwich and the nurses shrieked but I reminded her that she needed a treat now and then and a broiled chicken sandwich with bacon and cheese and a small fries was an okay thing now and then.  She relented and Madison let her have a fry.  Suzie protested all the new books and things, but I kissed her on the cheek and reminded her we're family therefore we can help her and spoil Madison if we wanted to.  She blushed and nodded.  I also reminded her that this was stuff that was good for her, to make sure she used the college fund Xander set up for her.  She's going to call and protest that soon."

"He did?"

"He did. She's got ten grand set aside for her at the moment, with the interest she'll be able to afford a Ph.D. or medical school.  It's in the usual bank.  That would be the blue edged statement he gets every month."

"I really should pay more attention to that."

"Maybe you should offer to balance his checkbook," Speed offered dryly, looking at him.  "How big is yours, Ray?"

"My last few years of tuition plus enough in savings to get me through college, any one I choose.  If I go locally and to a cheaper place, I can get through my Masters before needing help."  Speed smiled. "It'll also pay me a small stipend so I don't have to work and I can concentrate on my education or get an apartment."  He looked at his uncle.  "Mom threw a fit about that.  She said I had one.  He kissed her on the cheek and told her to keep it and have another one so he had someone else to spoil."

Horatio chuckled and nodded.  "That's fine.  Does Eric have one?"

"Di set one up for him and Xander added a ten grand contribution for it.  What he did for Maddy and will do for this new one when it gets born."  He grinned at Marisol.  "Mom is so stoked.  She's going to spoil the baby horribly."

She smiled at that, covering her stomach.  "When he or she comes to be, she'll be horribly spoiled."

"Xander's gotten onto you about wanting a daughter?" Ray teased.  She nodded, blushing slightly.  "It'd be a beautiful thing.  His hair, your face, either set of eyes.  She'd be a thing of beauty and I'd go thug to protect her."  She blushed brighter.  "I would.  No one's getting near Maddy until she's ready either.  The first boy who tries shit gets my foot up his ass and out his nose," he said reasonably.

"You and me both, nephew," Horatio agreed. "She'll grow up to be a stunning young woman with common sense and her mother's reasonable nature."  He patted him on the back.  "Swear again, watch me soap your mouth," he said more quietly.

"Sorry, Uncle H."  He grinned at him. "It was a direct quote and Xander said he'd teach me how to do it."

"I'm sure he could.  Quit swearing, Ray.  You're not a thug.  I won't allow you to be one."

"Yes, Uncle H."  He hugged him, then Marisol.  "Tell me when I get to help decorate the nursery again.  Eric and I are going to work out so he's not jealous of the new one."

"Good."  She smiled at him.  "You're becoming a good boy, Raymond."  She stroked his hair back down.  "You need a haircut."

"I know," he sighed. "Di likes it messy and windswept.  I need to get Danny to help me get it trimmed.  She loves his hair."  He looked at his uncle, beaming.  "We're doing the catalog next month.  Not Xander, he shows better in person."  Horatio smiled at that.  "He pouted but he said he understood.  He wasn't as young or pretty."

"Sounds like someone needs to be reassured he's still pretty," Marisol teased.

"I can do that," he assured her, making her blush and squeak.

"Pervert," Speed teased fondly.

"He inspires it," he pointed out.  He looked at his nephew.  "Where is my husband?  They should be done."

"Eric called and said they're getting muffins."

"Ah."  Horatio looked around the kitchen, then picked up the phone, calling out for dinner.  Not like he'd need to cook if they had muffins.

***

Xander slunk into the house, looking around.

"Xander," Horatio called from the office.  "What were you doing?"

Xander headed that way, leaning in the door with a shit eating grin.  "We went to watch the soccer game."

"That's fine.  Did you call?"

Xander walked in.  "I tried.  Your phone is saying it's dead."  He found it on the desk and flipped it open, then hit the send button, getting a customer service rep.  "Hold on, let me hand you to my husband."  He handed it over, getting a groan.  Xander went into the kitchen, bringing him back a beer.  Then he winked and stripped off, climbing into his lap while he listened to Horatio pay his bill.  Horatio hung up.  "I thought you had it on autopay."

"I did.  I need to talk to the bank."  He looked at him. "Did you do anything?"

"Nope.  I haven't done anything moneywise in weeks.  I need to balance my checkbook again too."  He reached over to move the mouse on the computer, logging into his bank account.  He looked at the error message then called.  "This is Xander Harris.  I just got an error message.  It had better be wrong," he said evenly.  He listened to her pull up his account.  He repeated all the numbers, listening to what was going on.  "Who did it?"  He growled.  "Thank you."  He hung up and looked at his mate. "Why is the FBI getting into my accounts?"

"I don't know."  He logged into his account and it came up with the same error message.  He called his boss.  "Sir, this is Horatio.  Why was my account frozen by the FBI, along with Xander's?  Yes, I was just finding that out.  I would like to know."  He listened.  "I see.  Do they have a reason?"  He growled softly and Xander stroked his chest.  "Thank you."  He hung up and stood up, letting Xander have his seat.  "I have to find a number."  Xander found his rolodex and held it up.  "Thank you."  He checked his phone, it was working again, so he took it outside to the beach to yell at the agent he knew.  He came back and dialed the desk phone, getting Don.  "Don, why is the Foundation being seen as a threat to national safety?" he asked calmly.

"Excuse me?" Xander demanded.

"Calm down, Xander.  You know they don't like gay things," Don offered.

"The FBI froze our accounts," Horatio told him.  "We're under suspicion of sedition."

"I've got the Foundation people on it, plus the lawyer we used up here, guys.  It's being handled.  Can you guys hold on for six weeks?"

"I've got others," Xander offered quietly.  "At his advice I moved my trust off-shore.  He thought something might pop up about our relationship. With the problems we had after the funeral I took it."  He looked at Horatio.  "I'll still be getting my trust check, we can live on it."

Horatio nodded. "I'm not worried.  My boss said I'm in the clear. He did say to keep you calm."  He looked at the phone.  "Don, how long has this been going on?"

"Two days.  Mac threw a fit from hell.  Danny threw a louder one.  Stella threw one so loud it brought other cops to arrest the idiots.  Unfortunately for them, the mayor is on Mac's speed dial thanks to a favor he owes him and they got to explain how supporting gay men was sedition and encouraging a terrorist cell.  Fortunately, Monroe had the forethought to tape it.  So, yeah, it's going on. I thought they would've openly come for you two too."

"Nope, not yet," Xander admitted.  "I did see some military guys."

"I heard.  Mac's amused.  He's smirking across the room right now. You caught us in a late-night briefing.  When is Mac coming down to watch you cook?"

"Um, I sent him tickets, didn't he get them?  For late Friday night since he said he has this weekend off."

"Hey, Mac, you got the tickets, right?"  Don sounded happy.  "Yeah, he got 'em.  Thanks, Xander."

"Not an issue, Don.  Is it just the FBI or Homeland?"

"Just the FBI.  Mac called a buddy in Homeland and they laughed and said it was just the FBI because they were too busy to deal with stupid people.  Later, boys."  He hung up.

Xander tapped out a number.  "Willow?"

"No, what?" Ryan asked, sounding cranky.

"I need the female-shaped person, Ryan."

"Why?"

"The foundation is being called sedition and aiding terrorists by the FBI."

"Get her into trouble with them and I will kill you, Xander."

"Oh, it won't happen. All I want to know is the paperwork they've filed.  Please?"

"I'll tell her.  She's at her computer anyway and I'm avoiding looking just in case.  Honey, the FBI says Xander and Don's foundation is sedition and helping terrorists."  They all heard the swearing and only Xander chuckled. "Not funny, Harris."

"I understood what she said, Ryan.  Yeah, it was.  She just cursed someone to sucking on toad's assholes."  Ryan snickered at that.  "Let's hope it isn't coming true for the poor toad's sake."

"That poor, poor toad," Ryan agreed dryly.

"Hi, boys," Willow said, obviously having taken the phone.  "Give me an hour.  I'll email it to your blind email account, Xander."

"I forgot the password months ago, I'm not sure if it's active."

"I changed it, dear. It's your birthday now, all numbers, no dashes."

"Thank you."  He blew a kiss.  "Love you.  Don't ever curse me like that, okay?"

"Not an issue."  She hung up, looking at her mate.  "I'm so going to destroy someone if they're calling gay people terrorists."  She went to get back onto her computer, typing happily once she found the right chatroom. "Honey, can you call Erica?  Let her embarrass them?"

"It might embarrass Horatio more."

"No, not in this case," she admitted. "It'll embarrass the guys in New York maybe."  She looked at him.  Then she summoned the phone and dialed.  "Erica, hi, Ryan's wife Willow.  Yeah, her," she agreed happily.  "Want a story that you can't name the victim's name?  No, like the FBI saying that a certain charitable foundation that helps gay men is being poked and prodded under suspicion of funding terrorists because they're helping gay guys.  Actually, I have dated women.  Ryan knows this.  If I can find you something can you totally embarrass the FBI for me?  Please?" she asked with a smile, begging slightly.  "Well, I'll let you interview my mate about his run for a judgeship.  Yeah, two or three have pissed off the PD and Xander suggested he run.  Yeah, that Xander. Yeah, same foundation.  Thanks, dear.  Sure.  We're up, the baby's up.  Thanks."  She hung up. "She'll be over soon."

"Thank you, Willow.  Though you are scary this way. You know that, right?"  She just smiled sweetly and nodded.  "Who told you?"

"Jesse.  Who do you think planned things when Xander didn't or couldn't?  He may be a tactician but I take a more straight forward approach to things.  Oh, I saved one of your threat's ads for you to look at.  He's calling you weak and ineffectual as a cop.  It's in the DVD player."

"Thank you."  He went to watch that, taking the baby with him.  That way the baby wouldn't learn how to hack yet.  At least not until he could type and read.  He ended up being the one to get up when someone tapped on the door, smiling at the woman standing there.  Her blonde hair was pulled back in a simple ponytail.  Her clothing was impeccable. She could go on screen right now.  "Come on in.  Watch out for Todd, he's drooling today."

"Thank you.  You're running for a seat on the bench?  You never told me."

He gave her a look.  "You made my life hell, Erica.  Why would I?  I don't normally like you that much. It's all love/hate with us."  He waved the camera guy in.  "Don't photograph the baby close up or whatever Willow's working on."  That got a nod so he closed the door after checking the hallway.  He walked over, picking the baby up again.  "Erica, this is Todd, our son."

"You're adorable," she said, smiling and touching his hand. "You look a lot like your daddy but you have mommy's hair.  You almost look like a Caine."

"Xander teases him about that now and then," Willow said absently, hitting a few keys.  Then she got up to get the papers and came back, reading over them.  She got onto another site.  "Give me ten minutes then I'll clean up and change."

"Sure," she agreed, sitting down.  "Which side are you hoping for, Ryan?"

"I wouldn't mind criminal.  I'll take either one I can get.  I think I have a firmer grasp of the criminal side with my background."

"I'd hope so.  Law degree?"

"Two-third's done and I can finish it within a year.  It's not necessary to be a judge either. Did you know that?"

"I hadn't.  Interesting.  You'll be easy on the department for warrants."

"I'll uphold the standards and with my experience I'll know where they're reaching and what's a weaker argument.  I'll always be an officer at heart."

"Okay, that I want as a quote.  Can we do a quick pickup in here?"  Willow snapped her fingers and the room was spotless, but the kitchen wasn't.  "Thank you.  How did you do that?"

Willow looked at her.  "Comment and die."

"Okay."  She turned back around.  "Let's focus in here," she told the cameraman.

He looked around then nodded, shifting a chair over so nothing from any other room would show.  Ryan did close the bedroom door and the door to the kitchen, then looked at himself and went to change, with the baby.

"Put him in the blue outfit, it makes him look cute and cuddleable," Willow called.  She grimaced and hit another few keys, then smirked and printed more stuff off.  "Bring that out too."

"The first two pages say access denied."

"Bring the others."  She got back into those and printed them a different way, copying and pasting them into a word processor first.  He came out with a sheaf of papers and redressed.  She smiled.  "You look so hot."

"Thanks.  Go change."  He took the laptop and put it out of sight, then handed the papers to Erica. "She's a bit pissed about that other situation."

"Are they scared that he'll help a gay man ascend the golden throne of Presidency?"

"Probably.  Patrick Benis was not known for playing nicely where one of his friends or family were concerned and Xander's the sort to kill over someone hurting his family.  By now, Horatio has hopefully calmed him down and is making him see reason and sense.  If not the rest of the extended family is probably helping."  He sat down and took the baby from Erica.  "Thank you.  Hi, Todd."  The baby smiled at him and drooled.  "You're cutting your first tooth early, or are you just not swallowing?"  He got up to get a bottle and a spit-up cloth, sitting down again with him in his lap to eat.  "Good?"

"Perfect.  It shows you're a family guy," She agreed.  She looked at Willow as she came out. "Not that one.  The light shines through."  Willow shrugged and went back to change.  Erica got up to help her find something that would make her look nice against Ryan.  She wouldn't comment on some of the things she found.  Ryan was a lot less white-bread than she had expected.  They came out in a white sundress and a blue shirt on underneath it.  She sat on the couch.  "You don't want the baby?"

"He's doing just fine and Todd loves to eat from him more."

"Okay."  She smiled at her cameraman, taking the microphone.  "This is Erica Sykes, reporting in from the home of one of our judicial candidates.  Tonight evidence has been given to him regarding a misdeed by the FBI and he has generously agreed to hand it over to me.  In front of us are Detective Ryan Wolfe and his wife Willow, and their son Todd, who is being very cuddly."  Willow nodded.  Todd chose that moment to fuss.

Ryan looked down.  "Shh," he said quietly.  "She's not scary."  The baby settled down and went back to eating.

She stared at him and smiled.  "You're very good with him."

"I should be.  He's my boy."  He grinned at her.  "It was told me earlier that the FBI has been subtly and unsubtly moving against groups that promote and help advance gay rights and those groups that help gay men and women start rewarding lives.  My wife Willow went online to do a bit of digging, finding in their public files a few pieces of information, which we gave to you, Erica.  We trust you to be fair on this story."

"I'm going to do my best, Ryan.  Now, to give some background, you're a member of the Miami-Dade PD?"

He nodded. "I am. First in patrol and now in the crime lab under Horatio Caine.  I've learned a lot from him about investigating."

Willow took the papers and put them into order, taking a few more out, then handing it back.  "That's in timeline order.  According to the memos I found, there's been a small group of agents within the FBI who have been pushing this problem for nearly a year.  They've investigated members of the Lambda organization, HRC, and a few other notable groups claiming that they're supporting terrorist activities."

"Which is very wrong," Ryan assured her.  He smiled at Willow, then at Erica.  "I have a great many gay friends and I know they'd be disappointed if I stayed quiet on this.  I'd be disappointed in myself if I stayed quiet on this."

Erica smiled.  "You and your wife make quite an investigative team, Ryan.  You got told this earlier tonight?"

"Yes, we've got a friend who is active in that community and that cause.  He was told that they may come looking at him, so he warned us that it could branch out into his friends and family."  He swallowed and looked down, then at her.  "This is just so wrong that I couldn't let it go quietly.  What they're doing is wrong, a misuse of resources and the law, and fundamentally evil in my book.  You don't hurt people just because they're working to better themselves and others, even if you don't believe in their cause."

"As a judicial candidate I know it's been said that your focus isn't really on the law.  Can you respond to that?"

"I'll always be an officer at heart. I'll uphold the standards and with my experience I'll know where the officers coming to me are reaching and what's a weaker argument.  I'll support the PD fully as a judge.  The more I learn the more I support the law and the men and women who uphold it."

"Then you'll be a permissive judge to the department?"

"Within reason.  Horatio has taught me a lot about bringing in firm evidence for warrants and I'll uphold the standards he's taught me.  I collect the stuff for a living, Erica. I've written out many myself and have had to answer questions about what something is or what a test means, reassure judges of the results.  I'll fully stand behind the PD in every case that's reasonable, good, and right."

"Thank you, Ryan, and you can be assured I will be digging into this matter tonight to bring you a second part of this story tomorrow," she said, looking at the camera.  "This has been Erica Sykes, Channel Four news."  The cameraman cut and looked at them.  "Thank you.  That didn't even sound too geeky."

"I was trying not to trip over my tongue.  Let's face it, we've had to bring some weak warrants so we could find what we needed."   She nodded, getting that.  The baby belched.  "Ooh, bad tummies, Todd."  He wiped his mouth off.

"Give him here."  She took the baby back and burped him gently, smiling at him.  "Good boy. Bottle?"  It was tossed over and Ryan got comfortable.  "The two I removed were hacked," she admitted quietly.  "I'm a bit good at that."

"I'll make sure it didn't come from you," she promised, taking them back.  She read it over and moaned.  "Oh, you weren't kidding."  They shook their heads.  "They're going after Caine's husband?"  She looked up and they both nodded.  "But his foundation is giving scholarships and research grants."

"Yeah, but they're scared that he's empowering gay men."

"Does he do lesbians?"

"He's taking that up with the board," Ryan told her.  "Patrick, the person who left him the foundation, only helped young gay men.  He had been forced to hide himself for years.  He told Xander that there were similar groups for lesbians.  He did say that if it turns out he was wrong, he'd consider it harder, but he wants to keep to Patrick's intentions."

"I can see that.  What about the other board members?  Gay, not gay?"

"I can't tell you that," he admitted. "I know them casually but not enough to ask those sort of questions.  I know the person over the finances for the foundation had them do an information packet and I know most of them are cops, with the exception of Xander really."

"So if they said they are, it could get tough for them," Willow said quietly.  "The NYPD is not that tolerant at times and half the board comes from up there."

"Good point," Erica agreed, smiling at them.  "They're nice people?"

"Very nice people.  Our lab switched out with theirs during that first personnel switch.  Don's somehow Xander's uncle.  He's got a few of the CSI there that he's worked with to help stop a serial killer after him. Plus he's got a few of his family down here in the lab helping him."

"That's good."

"This year's scholarships are being decided soon," Willow offered.  "They're making stacks of 'probably' and 'not' at the moment.  The official deadline is January second.  They'll meet in March to cut the final list."

"Interesting.  Here?"  Ryan nodded.  "Is that why Xander owns a condo?"

"It's for use of the Foundation's board.  The same as someone gave him a car and he put it at their disposal with their knowledge."  He grinned.  "No comment on who gave him the car."

"Not an issue.  Xander's reputation proceeds him in some areas."

"You think you wanna stop the tape so I can get a kiss?" Ryan asked the cameraguy, who did that.  "Thanks."  He got up and kissed Willow.  "Juice, water, Erica?  She's pregnant and I like to keep her hydrated."

"He's being fussy," Willow agreed dryly, giving her a look.  "Can I have some of that cranberry juice?"

"Sure.  Erica?"

"Water's fine, Ryan, thanks."  She looked at her.  "You know a bit about hacking?"  Willow just winked and looked at the baby. "I won't get you in trouble for that but I might remember it for the future."

"As long as it doesn't compromise Ryan," she reminded her gently.  "Or else I will have to throw fits."  They shared a look.  "Xander said I'm the scarier bitch in his life."

Erica smiled. "I'm not surprised.  Ryan needs a strong woman to put up with him."

"Only in the bedroom.  The guy nearly kills me."

"Willow," he complained from the kitchen.

"Sorry, dear."  She stuck the bottle back in the baby's mouth, grinning at him. "You're going to have a baby sister some day soon. Then your Uncle Xander has said he's going to spoil her rotten in case Uncle Horatio's isn't a girl.  We'll have to get together to make sure she's a normal girl that'll cuddle you.  Yes we will, Toddy.  We'll do that together."

"For some reason I just had the thought of our daughter wearing one of Di's dresses to the prom," he admitted as he came out, nudging her to take her glass.  He handed Erica her water then sat back down.  "Hand him back."  She pouted.  "My turn, greedy!"  She sighed and handed the baby over, sipping her juice instead.  "Day off."

"I can tell. You're a very active father."

"Horatio's already warned him he can't sneak the baby in on his back to scenes.  The day I collapsed of exhaustion, about two weeks after the birth, he was carrying him around in one of those backpack thingies.  Horatio made him take the baby off and hand him to Xander before he could go out on a call."  Erica smiled at that.  "He and his son Eric spoiled Toddy horribly that day.  He came home very sleepy.  Which was a great thing, we both needed it."

"We so did," Ryan agreed, looking at her.  "Just think, she'll be weaned about the same time he's potty training."

She shuddered. "I'm letting Eric's mother teach me how to do that.  She did great with little Eric."

"Which Eric's mother?" Erica asked, looking confused.

"Delko."  She rolled her eyes.  "She's an honorary grandmother to Xander's son.  Fusses and coos, helps him learn how to cook so he doesn't have Xander cooking issues."  Willow snorted her juice and choked.  "You okay?"  She nodded, wiping her mouth and nose off.  "She was.  They were making cookies.  She said the only way to make sure little Eric wasn't a disaster in the kitchen like Xander was to start him now.  Even if he could eat his father's cooking."

She nodded.  "It proves he's Xander's son."  She took another drink.  "No one can say anything about his special jerky if he competes right?"

"No, no performance enhancing properties.  All it does is toughens your stomach and makes you want sex a lot."  She blushed at that.  He smirked.  "At least I got the weird cravings for it.  He said you can't eat it."

"I can't.  It's too spicy, even the mild stuff.  But the marinade does make a *fantastic* muscle rub and joint ache soother."  She finished her juice. "He's used it on my back way back when we were in high school.  Some of that and I was walking upright again the next day.  I smelled because it soaked into my skin and not even two showers made me less stinky, but it worked."

"I'll have to remember that.  Eric's using his breath spray in the garage.  Him and Speed both."

"Why?" Erica asked patiently.

"It's a bit strong," Willow offered, handing her the vial she carried.  "Don't spray it directly in your mouth.  Put some on your finger and lick.  That's the only way you'll have tongue feeling later."

She did that and winced, licking her tongue against her teeth.  "That's stronger than altoids."

"But it works," Ryan offered.  "His baby loves that stuff.  He's truly Xander's son."

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"No, I tested it. It's all natural.  It's strong but it doesn't affect your ability to taste.  Well, except for the batch he let cook down too far, but not even he could use that and Speed used it to clean his engine."

She put it down and finished the water. She looked at the glass. "I could taste the chemicals."

"Filter pitcher and filter on the sink," Ryan assured her.

"But we know," Willow sighed.  "It cleans out the pores on your tongue.  Try wine tonight, you'll get all those flavors they talk about in the magazines."

"Does he sell that?"

"Nope," Ryan said, shaking his head slowly, smirk in place.  "Family only.  Willow's like a sister to him."

"Ah.  How long does it last?"

"About a day and a half," Willow admitted.  "I've used it in the past and forgotten to brush my teeth."

"Horatio had to remind him the other day," Ryan told her.  She grinned at that, rolling her eyes.  "I know, they're cute.  Xander's level of cuteness is legendary."  He looked down at the son.  "You're napping.  It's too early to nap. You didn't even get a bath yet."

"I'll bathe him in the morning.  He likes to have a morning bath," she promised, getting up and taking him to his crib.  She came back.  "Sorry.  He got played with all day." She sat down again, smirking at her mate.  "We don't have to move again, right?"

"Nope.  The kids can share that room for a while.  It won't matter until they're around four or five."

"Good.  Did you hear about Horatio's neighbor?"

"I did.  Calleigh called to get a voice of reason and a recommendation on who to call for a psych consult."  Erica opened her mouth.  "Ask the PD people."

"Fine.  Don't give me good stories."

"Kid gone bad," Willow told her.  "A tough case emotionally."

"I've seen those."  She stood up. "Thank you, Ryan.  I'll do my best to make sure you look well-cultured and mannered instead of goofy and fun-loving."  He grinned at that.  "Be safe and take care of the family.  It suits you."  She let them out, letting him lock the door behind her.

Ryan pulled Willow up and into his arms. "Have I told you your sexy mind is not only scary but it turns me on?"

"So you get hot when I'm scary?" she teased, kissing him.

"Mmm, lots and lots of the time."  He picked her up and carried her to bed, making her giggle.  "Tomorrow, I'm fixing the dishwasher."

"Please!"

"Ooh, I like that noise, make it more," he teased, making her giggle and howl a few minutes later.

***

Horatio came out of the AV lab.  "Mr. Wolfe," he called.  He came out of his lab.  "That was very nicely done, very subtle.  Did you see what she caught later?"

"I did and I knew she had it on.  The only thing she could've used was that Willow hacked."

"Good."  He nodded.  "We didn't get the email?"

"Xander did.  She said he opened it.  She sent it with a receipt."

"Thank you.  Nicely done."

Ryan smiled. "I tripped over my tongue so horribly during that one section because I knew I was going to come off as a pompous ass, but we all know I'm going to okay anything reasonable.  I've been there with the weak evidence."

"Me as well, Mr. Wolfe, me as well."  He smiled.  "Very nicely done."

"Thanks, Horatio.  Can you come look at this test?  It's driving me nuts. It's coming up with an impossible answer.  Like dividing with a negative zero impossible answer."

"Of course."  He came in to see what was going on.  "That is indeed not possible. How is it doing that?"

"I have no clue," he admitted more quietly.  "I sounded okay, right?"

"You sounded fine.  By the way, I liked the billboard.  Nice picture of you in your patrol uniform."  He frowned at the computer. "Speed!"

"He's out," Ryan admitted. "I called and he said it was impossible.  I almost called Willow to see if she charmed the machine again."

"She did?"

"The day it spit out pink confetti.  She had a cold."

"I remember that day.  Xander gave me a wonderful massage to make up for it."

"She said the marinade for the jerky is a great joint rub and muscle relaxer."

"Yes, but it stinks."

"She said that was the only problem with it."

"I'll keep that in mind."  He called Speed.  "When you get back, I want you to go over this test with Ryan.  He's right, the algorithm looks like it's dividing by a negative zero.  Which is impossible as there's no such number.  I have no idea.  I'll call to see."  He hung up and called Willow.  "Did you charm any of the machines, Miss Rosenburg?  No, we have one that's dividing by a negative zero in the algorithm.  Yes, that sort of issue.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "She'll be here soon to look at the coding."

"Can she do that?"

"Possibly."  He shrugged. "She knows how to program.  At the very least she can compare the disc and this version.  Maybe she can find the problem and correct it, figure out what happened."

"Eric said something about getting a 'trial software' message."

"We lease it yearly."  He went to check on that, then groaned and called his boss. "Someone in computer services forgot to update and pay for our lease of our software.  Yes, it is hampering crime.  Thank you, Chief."  He hung up and called Ryan.  "If she can fix it and make it free, I'll throw the baby shower."  He hung up and leaned back, rubbing his eyes.  A promise to 'look into it' was about worthless around there.

***

Willow walked into Horatio's office a week later.  "You sure you want it to be free?  Because you know that's illegal because I'm breaking their copyright and all that?" He gave her a long look.  "Okay."  She handed over a disc. "All the software you had me look at, Horatio.  Recoded without the time limits and a permanent registry key established.  I can reload it in one lab to make sure it works then go from there."

"Please," he agreed quietly. "They're being slow."

"They usually are.  It costs a lot.  I was surprised how much the mass spec's database cost."  She walked off, going to one of the older labs.  She smiled at Speed since he was in here.  "Horatio had me fiddle with the programs."

"Please tell me it's cracked."

"It's cracked, Speed."  He hugged her.  "Get off," she said with a tolerant smile.  "I've got to reload it and check it.  It'll need calibration and all that good stuff. Got the time? This is the oldest lab."

"Please.  Go ahead.  I'm stuck and looking at a cold case."

"Done."  She walked over to the main computer and booted the CD, starting the copying process.  When the registration key came up she pulled a form out of her pocket and typed it in, then hit 'enter'.  It came up invalid.  She frowned and typed in two codes, then hit the third. "My list is backwards."  The system took it and uploaded.  They got a 'congratulations on your permanent software purchase' message and she printed the receipt for Horatio.  Then she got back to work sealing it off from the main company except for updates.  "Someone will have to manually go in and download updates," she noted quietly.

"It's supposed to do that automatically."

She looked at him.  "You do that, the company can figure out it was cracked."

"It's a small price to pay.  Sunday's an easy day we can do that then."  She nodded, getting back to work while he made notes.  She had to frown twice more but it was fixed with a comma or something to the original code.  She stepped back and hit the reload system button, so he got to watch as the lab went offline then came back up.  He looked around, then went to gather samples from around the lab, innocuous stuff they could use to test things. He came back, watching the little 'progress' bar.  "It's not moving."  She walked over and clicked on it, getting a 'yes' box window, which she read then clicked on appropriately.  He grunted and got to work preparing samples.  "I love you if this works."

"I know you do.  You can repay me by giving me the hershey cookie bar recipe you've got." She came over to help him prepare samples.  "Tim, what should I go to college for?"

He looked at her. "A few doctors who've seen Xander have suggested medicine," he offered quietly.  "You could practice or do research, or even follow Alexx so you could work in the same office as Ryan."  She smiled weakly at that.  "Or if you're squeamish, you could go for straight biochem and do medical research.  There's always computer stuff."

"That's my stress hobby."

"Okay."  He considered it.  "You're good in the hard sciences, Willow.  Stick with what you're good at."

"Sure.  Thank you.  You think I could cut medical school?"

"It's stressful and a lot of hours for a long time."

"Then I'd rather not."

"Then go biochem and do research.  We've got a number of labs in the area."

Ryan leaned in.  "She's going to medical school.  I want to introduce myself as Judge Wolfe and my lovely wife Doctor Willow."  She blushed at that.  "Yes, you can hack medical school; by then I'll have more routine hours, and you'll not go full time if you have to.  It'll take longer but oh well."  He shrugged.  "Any other questions?"

"I'm not sure I can take the stress."

"Babe, I doubt you're the only mother they've ever seen at the local ones.  Go to the osteopathy school if you want to."  She shook her head.  "Then we'll talk to the admissions people at the same college Xander went to and I did my masters at.  They're good."  She nodded, giving him a smile.  "It cracked?"

"We're testing it now."

"Cool."

"We'll have to do manual updates, Wolfe."

"And?  That'll take an hour.  Start it and move on, it'll integrate itself if she did the bangup job I know she did."  He strolled off, going to find his last case's paperwork and finish it.  He found Eric flipping through it. "Less paperwork as a judge.  I've got to keep chanting that mantra over and over until I'm convinced."

"You know if you do, he's still going to keep you on call."

"Good.  I want to keep my hand in," Ryan assured him, grinning a bit. "She's angsting over college."

"With some of the work she did on Xander, she'll make a great surgeon."

"I know, the trick is convincing her bouts of low self esteem."

"They both have those."

"Is the jerky making him faster?"

"Hmmm," Eric said, nodding.

"Going to eat more?"

Eric moaned and nodded.

"We'll cheer you on if you start to compete again," Ryan assured him, patting him on the arm.  "Hanging out for a reason or just bored?"

"Hanging out for a reason. You have the Penderson case stashed somewhere."

"By the Nyquia case.  I go alphabetically so I can find things."

"Okay."  He searched through that stack and found it. "Thanks, Wolfe."

"Not a problem, Eric. It should be done."  He sat down to type, getting back into his reports.  "I hate paperwork, Goddess I hate paperwork," he complained quietly.  He paused.  "Now she's got me doing it."  He shook his head at that.  He would not convert to Wicca for her.  He loved her but not that much.

***

Horatio looked around their condo as he got home, wincing at the mess.  "Xander, please tell me it was either a hurricane or our son?" he called.  He didn't get an answer.  He walked over to check the normal places for messages, not finding one.  Nothing on the answering machine but hangups.  The bedroom was even worse.  Someone had thrown all their clothes on the floor.  He went to get his case from his car and brought it back to dust his doorknob.  His neighbor gave him a funny look.  "Was anyone but Xander over today?" he asked.

"There was a young woman.  I'm not sure who.  Blonde and pretty, longish hair."

"Blonde....."  He walked inside and got a photo, bringing it back.  "Her?"

She looked and shook her head.  "No, not that one.  She's cute though.  Xander's family?"

"Friend."  He looked at his door, then at her.  "Anything else on her?"

"She was driving a Geo Metro, which was what caught my attention really. You never see that low end of a car in *this* neighborhood."

"Thank you.  Was Ray here?"

"Earlier but he ran out and caught a cab.  He looked upset."

"Thank you, Harriet.  I'm going to call some people over."  She nodded and went back inside with her dog.  He went to do that, going back to his fingerprinting. All he got was smudges and his.  So someone was wearing gloves.  Eric pulled in and got out, leaning on his car door.  "Blonde, pretty, young, not Buffy.  My neighbor Harriet saw her.  Ray was here earlier but he ran off."

"Xander's with my mother," he admitted, coming over to look.  "Anything useable?"

"Smudges.  Someone was wearing gloves."  He stood up and handed those over, looking at his door.  "She was driving a Geo Metro."

"Crappy car.  Suzie's not blonde, right?"  He shook his head.  "Any messages?"

"Just an unholy mess."  He looked over as Yelina pulled in.  "Where's your son?"

"At home.  He said he was here then Xander told him to go home, said he was mean."

Eric called his mother.  "Is Xander still there?  Put him on and swat him for me."  She did that, Xander complained. "You yelled at Ray?"  He listened, waving Horatio over. "Repeat that," he ordered, handing the phone over. He took Horatio's phone to call Di.  "Are you all right?"  He listened, nodding slowly.  "Anything yet?  No, they trashed the house, Di.  I don't know, are you blonde or have a blonde assistant who drives a metro?"  He shuddered.  "Eww.  Thank you.  We'll be right there."  He hung up.  "She's crying, hasn't heard anything.  She thinks the nanny's involved."

"Jane is blonde and pretty," Horatio agreed, hanging up. "He's protecting Marisol and Madison is there with Suzie.  She went to see her and talk to her, tell her that I was having a child with her."

"Yeah, my sister's already bragging."  He looked at Yelina.  "Someone's got little Eric."  She let out a swear.  "Di said she thinks Jane's involved and she does drive a metro.  The house is a wreck according to Horatio."

"What about any surveillance?  I know Ray was saying that he and Xander were going to put one in."

Horatio smiled and walked inside, taking down the webfeed camera that downloaded every day to their home computer.  He forced the download, watching it, fast forwarding through the mess Xander was making.  "What is he doing?" he muttered.

Eric looked.  "Doing the laundry?  Making piles?"  More clothes were added to each pile, then the smaller ones were gathered and walked to the kitchen and the laundry room after it.  "See?  That's how I sort too.  Momma hates it but it means I don't make anything pink."

"Xander has an alarming habit of doing that."  He fast forwarded through more laundry, then a phone call.  Xander rushed out.  Ray came in but the phone rang and he stormed out.  "That explains some of the clothes.  Not the bedroom however."  They slowed it down as someone came in, their son's nanny.  She tore up the rest of the living room and the bedroom.

"What is she looking for?  She didn't touch in here," he said, looking around.

Horatio looked.  "The checkbook was moved," he said quietly, pointing at it.  "So were the statements.  They're kept inside the desk."  Eric nodded, going to bag those.  Horatio watched.  "She's wearing gloves, Eric."

"She still might've spread spit or something.  Maybe we can get DNA."  The nanny walked back into frame and headed out, smirking and happy.  "I'll get Tyler here to copy that and enhance it for positive identification.  You check on your nephew."  Horatio gave him a look.  "You know better.  You can't work a scene in your own house, Horatio."

"Fine."  He headed to the bedroom, gathering some of the things off the floor.  Yelina walked in and took them, putting them back onto the floor, taking him out to his car.  She handed him the keys and his phone, then made 'shooing' motions.  "I'll need some of that."

"Go to Speed's or the condo.  Now."

He rolled his eyes but went to check on Di.  At the very least he could gather reference samples and see if she had taped the call.  He did call his nephew.  "Ray, Horatio.  Someone's taken Xander's son," he said quietly.  "He wanted you to go somewhere protected, somewhere you could be watched.  I know, he gets curt and gruff in an emergency.  Please.  Go watch over Willow and Todd for me.  Thank you, Ray."  He hung up and headed over there, lights and sirens on.  He parked and jogged inside the shop, heading to the office.  "Diana?"

"Horatio!"  She flung herself at him.  "Xander told me to tape the calls, I don't know how.  He told me what to gather for you of hers and Eric's.  He's watching Madison and Marisol.  I don't know why.  Why isn't he here?"

"Because he thinks they're going to go after more of the family," he said quietly.  "I can prove Jane was in our house earlier.  He went to take up a spot that would enable him to capture someone doing this so we could find him sooner.  Did you tape the call?"

"I don't know how."

He nodded, making a call to Ryan, getting him to bring the gear.  He looked over the reference samples, smiling at her. "Good instincts.  DNA is always welcome."  She nodded, sitting down, pale and shaky.  "We'll find him, Di.  You know I'll never let Eric be hurt if I can help it."

"She's insane.  She's got to be insane, Horatio.  She took my son."

He nodded. "I know.  What did she ask for?"

"Me."  Horatio frowned.  "She asked for money too, a mil, but she wants me."

"All right.  We'll see what I can pull off," he promised.  Ryan walked in with the recorder's case, getting down to set it up.  "As of this moment, Xander is protecting Eric's family and Madison.  Ray is watching your son and wife."  Ryan looked up at him.  "Xander wasn't so sure she wasn't going to try something else. We know Jane was in my house.  It's trashed."

"Okay.  Her alone?"

"So far we only know about her."

"Decent."  The phone rang and he finished connecting it and slipped in a new tape, nodding at her to answer it while he put on the headphones.

"Hello?"  She listened, then handed the phone to Horatio. "She knows you're here."

He listened. "Jane," he said calmly.  He listened to her demands and her demented laughter, plus his son crying.  "You have to give him time to get the money.  It's almost all off-shore.  No, that's locked away, Jane.  He can't touch the foundation's assets."  He smirked at her complaints.  "He does, off-shore.  It'll take at least an hour to wire it to a local bank and have them cash it out.  I'm sure he has."  Ryan walked off, going to talk to Xander.  "Please.  Well I could calm him down since he's panicking."  Di glared, he held up a hand.  "Eric, it's Daddy Horatio.  Just calm down.  She won't hurt you or else Daddy Xander is going to kill her. You know that.  It's all right."  He smiled at his babble.  "Good boy.  Now go play."  The baby dropped the phone and went to play.  "I don't know why she hired you, Jane.  You're terrible with children."  He heard the threat and sneered.  "The rest of the family is protected, Jane.  I wouldn't try it."  She hung up and he replayed the tape, noticing the volume was set too high.  He adjusted it and it came out fine.  He smiled at her shock.  "She's not alone," he said grimly.  She leaned back, scrubbing at her face.  "We'll handle it, Di.  Just relax and let us do our work."

"Why ask for me?"

"Jane likes you.  The same as you liked Jane," he said wisely.  "The money is the real reason, you're a benefit."

"Not at the moment I'm not.  If she hurts my son I'm going to kill her, Horatio."

"I know, Di.  Let us work.  Keep calm, as calm as you can."  He called Eric. "Is Tyler there yet?  She called here, we've got a tape.  She has at least one accomplice.  Why is Mac there?"  He frowned.  "Sorry.  Sure.  No, we'll need a place big enough to hold all of us, Eric. I don't know, ask my husband."  He hung up and looked at her.  "Does Xander have a hidey hole?"  She nodded slowly.  "Where?"

"Bayshore."

"Bayshore?"

"Estates."  She called Xander's cell.  "Horatio wants to move us all together, Xander," she said quietly.  "We can forward the phone. She's got my cell too.  Yeah, Horatio said we need somewhere we can all work together.  Also, Mac's down."  He groaned and said something.  "You're selling them the recipe for making your bug killing spray?  Are you desperate?"  She listened then sighed and nodded. "I understand, Xanny.  Sure.  We'll forward here then head over.  You get the Delko's, Suzie, and Madison."

"Have Madison escorted back to the hospital and put Patrick's security people on her," Horatio said firmly.

She listened then shook her head. "He can't.  He's on his honeymoon this week."

"Then I'll have Ray do it."  He called him.  "Are you sober, straight, and clean?"  He listened to the assurance.  "Someone took Eric.  No, not Delko.  Our son.  They're making feints toward Madison and Suzie.  Xander had to take her out of the hospital for a few hours."  He heard the assurance.  "Good.  She's with Eric's mother.  There.  Yes.  You, Calleigh.  Frank or someone he chooses."  He hung up.  "Pack."  She went to do that.  "Reasonable clothes, Di," he ordered.

She looked at the pants.  "These are his.  I doubt he packed a bag."

"We've probably got clothes there," he admitted.  She shrugged and nodded, packing it anyway.  He called his house.  "Eric, me.  We're moving to Xander's hidey hole.  Tell my nephew?  Thank you.  I'm almost certain he does."  He hung up and looked at Ryan.  "Forward her phone, take this and set it up there."

"Where is there?"

Horatio looked up.  "Xander?" he called quietly. "Addresses are necessary."  An envelope was dropped onto the desk beside him by Di.  "You know where?"

"No, he said if it was an emergency to go there."  She shrugged.  "I don't know. He did say that's where the arsenal was too."  She dropped two bags then went to get something for their son, just in case.  That got dropped too and she looked at him. "Mine, yours, his?"

"Mine.  Ryan, get to work and meet us."  He showed him the address and phone number.  That got a nod so Horatio escorted her out with the bag.  "Did you remember the sketch pad?"

"Yeah, I've got two and some pencils.  That way I can be worried."  She climbed in and buckled up, waiting while he checked the hummer over.  She ran a hand over the dash.  "He certainly loves you, Horatio."

"He does," he agreed, sliding in and starting the engine.  He headed off to the house.

***

Eric hung up and looked around.  "Xander's got a bolt hole, we're heading," he called.  Yelina looked at him. "The entire family."  He looked at Tyler.  "Ryan's got a tape, he'll bring it if you're not done copying that by then."

"Decent.  Where is it?"

"Call Wolfe and see where he can meet you.  The fewer who know the better."  He patted him on the back.  "Yelina, get Willow, Todd, and your son, meet us there.  He said that Ray should know.  Mac, you're with me."  That got a nod and Mac followed him out to the hummer he was working with today.  He looked at the patrols.  "The AV tech is inside, you are to stay with him; if anyone harms him, I'm skinning you and feeding you Xander's cooking."  They shuddered and nodded, taking up position. "This is a kidnaping.  Someone took Caine's stepson."  They stepped back and nodded quickly.  "Reach me through dispatch if you have to."  He climbed in and buckled up, starting the engine and backing down the driveway.

"Do you know where it is?"

"Yeah, I do.  Xander showed me the pool one day recently.  He'll probably be last, my mother will want to make food."

Mac smiled.  "Mothers can be that way when they don't think it's a real danger.  What about your nephew and nieces?"

"Safer than not.  They don't live at home.  I'm sure he's warned them through mom."  He turned a corner and turned on his lights because there was traffic ahead.

"Not subtle," Mac offered.

"Yeah, well, it'll be hours before we get there otherwise."  He nodded at the patrol officer that was handling the tie up, speeding past him.  He called the accident in to make sure someone had a clue about rerouting emergency vehicles, then flipped off the lights and sirens, heading at a more leisurely pace to the house on Bayshore.  "Xander moved Giles' arsenal out here," he noted quietly.  "He told me so."

"Good to know.  Anything modern or are they all crossbows and swords?"

"Some of that, some guns, some artillery, possibly some explosives.  Xander likes pointy things and things that go boom."  His phone rang so he handed it over.  "You can get that.  I'm trying to remember the door code."

"Delko's phone," Mac answered, smirking a bit.  "No, Marisol, he's driving.  Xander said what?"  He snorted.  "Marisol, someone took his son.  He's protecting you.  Get your tail in the car and follow orders this time."  He hung up and handed it back.  "She's being pouty and stubborn."

"She's probably got a treatment later today," he admitted quietly.  "I'll have someone escort her if that's it."  He called Speed.  "Call my sister, make sure she doesn't have to go in today.  No, you're our sheep that's staked out for the wolf.  They can always find you and you'll be plenty safe."  He hung up and turned a corner, then smiled suddenly and headed the other direction.  Someone honked but he didn't care.  He pulled into the gated community's guardhouse, flashing his credentials.  "Xander's son was taken, we're all pulling back here, the whole family.  Do I need to update his list?" The guard nodded, handing it over.  He wrote out everyone's name and ages, then handed it back.  "We're trickling in from less protected positions.  Which house are we going to, I don't remember."

The guard called Xander, getting an 'okay' and orders.  "The blue one on the end, sir."  He handed over a pass.  "Put that on your windshield for me please. That way we know you're a visitor allowed to be here."  Eric did that and headed back to the last house on the end, the only pale blue one.  He checked off names as they came in, handing out stickers.  When Xander got there, he looked at him.  "Sir, I told him the blue one.  That was correct, right?"

"It was," he agreed.  "Thank you."  He smiled gently.  "Any officers who come, call us first.  The crime lab's personnel are more than allowed."  The list was handed over and he starred a few. "They're officers."

"Thank you, Mr. Harris.  Have a good day and I hope your son is all right."

"Me too or someone's going to die a horrible death," he said quietly, heading back there. He parked and got out, looking around before opening the other doors.  Eric and Horatio came out.  "Anything?"

"The ransom request."

"I heard. Ryan called.  I've already talked to my guy, he's having it sent to your bank, Horatio.  He's already called them and told them why.  They'll have it cashed out and waiting by now.  Someone will have to pick it up."

"Speed's where?" Horatio asked, letting the family inside. "Marisol, do you need to go today?"

"No, tomorrow morning I have tests, I have a treatment that afternoon."  She looked at Xander, then at him. "He's scary like this."

"Someone threatened his family," he reminded her.  "This is nothing compared to what'll happen when we have to arrest someone and leave him here."  She smiled at that, going inside and back to the kitchen with her mother.  Eric followed her, leaving him and Xander.  "Are you all right?"  He shook his head.  "Calm enough to plan?"

"Yeah, but they're going to die."  He stole a kiss. "I need to check on something, I'll be right back."

Horatio stopped him, pulling him closer.  "Xander," he said quietly, staring into his eyes.  "I saw the bedroom."  Xander grimaced.  "When were you going to tell me?"

"With the way my life goes sometimes, probably relatively soon," he admitted. Horatio nodded at that.  "We set?"  That got a nod.  "Then I've got something that should've been hinted at."  He leaned in the house.  "Horatio is taking me to calm me down," he called.  "Cable's on.  Food's in the kitchen.  Anyone pees in the pool and I'm drowning you."  He shut the door and walked Horatio off, taking him up the street.  "I invested in this estate when I first started getting major money," he said quietly. "One of the guys at the club was dating the developer.  I knew I'd need my own place someday and it's a nice neighborhood, safe."  He pulled out his keys and opened a door, letting him inside.  Horatio stared at him.  "There's three that I have the keys to.  The other one isn't mine, I'm just holding the keys until it's sold.  This one and the other one are connected."  He led him inside so he could look around the modest house, which was furnished like their home.  The other one he had indulged his taste for heavier woods and tapestry fabrics. He led Horatio down to the arsenal, showing him the code by taking his hand and using it to tap in the sequence.

"My birthday plus two," he said, looking amused.

"Easy enough for me to remember."  He walked him inside the vault, showing him the entire collection.  "The other house has enough for a standoff.  The door on the other side leads back to the other house's wine cellar.  It can also function as a bunker in case of a hurricane. It's got a security system on that end."  He closed the vault door and turned on the other set of lights, showing him the pictures on the wall.  "I've been working on my protections. Both houses are fully warded against magic and scrying but I put extra down here," he said, looking at his mate.  "Ethan did help.  I gave him some of my jerky and breath spray, even though he wasn't sure why.  At least until he ate some. Then I got a cackle and he's very happy."  He flipped off the blue UV lights and opened the vault door, letting them back out.  "Retap the code to lock it.  I didn't make it automatically locking because of the baby.  That way he can't get trapped and we don't have to worry about accidental closures."

"It's a good idea," he assured him, doing that.  The door locked and he walked Xander through the outer doors and back upstairs to look around.  "If we have to move, you wanted to move here?"

"No, I want this to be our private spot, Horatio.  The place we go where no one can find us.  Eric and Ray Jr. both know about the other house but not this one.  Now all the family knows about that house but not this one."  Horatio nodded, smiling a bit. "Sometimes we need to escape.  Plus this is a nudist neighborhood. We're good having sex on the back porch if we want to."  He kissed the back of his hand.  "Let's go."  Horatio nodded, letting Xander lead him out and lock the door behind him.  He saw Willow looking for him and grinned. "Checking on a friend's place.  I needed to feed his fish anyway."

"That's good.  How are we doing beds?"

"Shifts. It had better not take over twelve hours," he noted dryly, kissing her on the cheek.  "Relax, the house is fully warded."

"I noticed Ethan did it."

"He helped me."  He let her back inside then let Horatio walk in, shutting the door behind himself. He came out and looked at the dog, then shrugged and carried it inside, handing it to Eric, who grinned. "As long as it's not our bed, I don't care.  Figure out how to do naps."  He got a nod.  "Your mother already cooking?"

"Yup, and Alexx got told. I put her on the visitor's list this time too."

"That's fine. This is our hidey hole and honeymoon suite.  I invested in the neighborhood.  One of my fellow dancers was dating the developer.  Look at what six hundred thousand got me," he said dryly, patting him on the back.  "Besides a quadruple return and this house."  He headed for the kitchen, finding a soda to drink.  "Mrs. Delko, simple stuff.  Nothing too heavy.  We'll be on edge for hours until he's back."

"I know, dear.  I'm making sandwiches.  Do you need one?  You're very tense."

"I'll get with Horatio to unwind later."  He smiled.  "You and the other non-combatants figure out how to take rest breaks, just stay out of our bedroom and watch the kids in the rec room.  The swords are more than sharp."  She nodded and patted his hand.  He headed that way, taking Horatio with him. He found Mac looking at a very old katana.  "I found it in the flea market for eighty bucks. I had to redo the handle but it's a wonderful weapon."

"It is," he agreed, hanging it back up.  He looked at him then pointed at the gun cabinet.  "I know you have more than that," he said quietly. Xander grinned.  "Where?"

"The main collection of guns are hidden but reachable from here," Horatio said quietly, closing the door to seal them in.  "Mac, you don't have to get involved."

"Shut up, Horatio. Where's the rest?"

"At the other house," Xander mouthed.  "Go into the wine cellar, behind my favorite red wines is a door.  There's a security system in place there.  Don and Danny are both keyed in already.  I couldn't get you to do it.  I can do it later if we're here tonight."  Mac nodded and smiled.  "It's also the hurricane bunker.  The other end is better hidden."  He looked at the open cabinet.  "That's only the showy stuff, Mac."  He walked over and opened a wall cabinet, showing off the weapons and boxes of ammo.  Including a good stack of boxes for the officer's guns.  "Do we have something for yours?"

Mac came over to look, then tapped that stack.  "That'll do for mine too."  He looked around, finding another cabinet with some highly illegal machine guns.  "Xander," he said patiently.

"Sometimes you need to spray and pray, Mac.  We've all had days like that and I'm hoping it's not more zombies."  He closed that one and grinned.  "Sorry you saw that.  If my husband arrests me, that's up to him."

"I didn't see anything but if I ever have to make a stand, I'm arming up here first."

Xander closed the gun cabinet and pulled out the drawers below it.  They had been made to look like wood grain imperfections in the paneling.  "Vest, dear?" he asked, holding up his.  He tossed Mac one.  "New, experimental, but they proved it to my satisfaction."

Mac tested it and nodded.  "I've heard they were iffy but not that horrible for ground combat.  It's higher level artillery that'll get you killed in these.  Anything below a nine mil or a forty-five is fine."  He tried it on, wiggling a bit.  "Ooh, that's nice.  T-shirts?"

"You can borrow one of mine, Mac."  He grinned and opened the door.  "Eric, Ryan, Ray?  Yelina?"  They came in and he had to shoo out Willow and Todd.  "Dealing with gun things."  She pouted and walked out, closing the door behind her.  He nodded.  "Vests, guns, bullets."  Horatio reopened the cabinet and drawers.  "T-shirts are upstairs, Yelina.  You should be able to fit into Horatio's."

She stared at him.  "Did you plan to stage an assault?"

"No, but I've had to in the past. This is the holdover from Sunnydale syndrome."  He looked at Ray, tossing him his vest.  It was one of the older, thicker, heavier ones but he *knew* it worked.  "Remember, I want that back in one piece, Ray.  That's my original vest."

"Yes, Xander."  He tried it on and nodded. "It still fits."  He took it off and got into the cabinet. "Can I borrow the Sig?"

"Of course.  Keep it locked down."

"Yes, dear."  He blew a kiss and got out a holster for it and put it on, along with two spare clips in his pockets.  His mother gave him a horrified look.  He looked at her. "Mother, people keep coming for the sperm donor.  That's what drove me out of the house earlier. Uncle Horatio and Uncle Xander both made sure I'm fully proficient on anything and everything in that cabinet, including the cleaning kit and the vest.  I may be a nice guy, but they took Eric.  They're getting my foot up their ass if they come here and you guys are gone.  You can't afford to leave more than Xander and I here as defense.  Let us do our jobs."  He looked at Mac, sizing him up.  "We have extra clips probably if you don't."

"I do, in my bag.  Which is in the back of Eric's car."  He patted him on the shoulder. "It shouldn't come to that."

"She's insane," Ray told him.  "She took Xander's son knowing that he'll protect Eric with his life.  Or don't you remember the last guy who came after Xander?  Jane was here then."  He walked out, carrying his vest with him.  Eric's mother gave him a horrified look.  "When they go to rescue Eric, Xander and I are staying as security and defense," he said, kissing her on the cheek.  "Can you teach me how to stirfry?  I suck at it.  I always burn things."

"I'm fairly decent with weapons," Eric's father offered from behind him.

"Rec room," he said, grinning at him. "We'll put you behind us."

"You're only a boy, Ray."

"I'm the son of a cop and my father's brought bad things on our doorstep, Mr. Delko.  Xander and Horatio trained me."  He nodded, smiling a bit as he headed that way.  "Watch out for the swords, they're sharp.  Sometimes Xander thinks he's in an ep of Highlander."  He grinned at the mother of the group again. "Please teach me?"

"Wash your hands and put the vest down, Raymond."  He nodded, doing that, then coming over to learn from her.  She was a better cook than even his mother. "Is it often like this?" she asked quietly.

He looked at her.  "No, most of the time Xander gets back what's his before Horatio knows," he admitted.  "Like he did me."  She nodded, accepting that.

"When?" Horatio asked from the doorway.

Ray looked at him. "If I tell you, you'll yell at Sheldon."

"Why would I yell at Sheldon?"

"Because he was guarding Xander and lost him.  The Mala Noche had me as a pawn for about an hour.  The day they were coming after Xander.  Xander got me free and made a few cry."  Horatio moaned.  "You notice they haven't come back recently?"

"I had actually," he admitted.  "Xander!"  He squeaked and headed outside, Horatio behind him.  "That won't save you and if you dive in wearing that gun I will let Mac spank you."

"It's waterproofed!"  Horatio growled and caught his arm, making him face his mate.  "They had Ray, Horatio.  You were busy trying to track the main problem.  The officer said I couldn't bother you or distract you, even with your nephew being missing.  He was sure Ray would turn up, like most teenagers."

"You did what?" he demanded quietly.

"Um, well, I tracked him, stole him back, then made someone cry if you want me to be honest."  He grinned suddenly.  "Sheldon saw that part.  Danny saw that part.  Sheldon called him when he and Monroe lost me."

"That was before the assault."

"Yeah, we watched.  You looked hot that day in the black SWAT uniform," he said, kissing him and grinning.  "Even Ray thought so."  He headed around the side of the house, going to find the dog since he had seen it sneak out with Willow.  "He okay?"

"Yeah, he's trying hard not to have an accident."  She grinned at him.  "Horatio finally finding out you're as well trained as some combat veterans?"

"He knew that before but I never told him I had to steal Ray back."

"Ah.  Wonderful.  Did you get hurt?"

"No, Monroe lost me and Sheldon backed her up on that."

"Excuse me?" Mac called from the back door.  "I know you didn't say two of my people lost you, Xander."  He came out to join them. "Horatio said Sheldon and Monroe lost you?"

"Monroe was on guard, Sheldon was in the kitchen making some toast.  I got the call from the idiot who took Ray.  I walked into the bedroom, grabbed the spare guns, walked right past her and outside, closing the door behind me. Sheldon called ten minutes later, sounding like he was panicking.  I told him what was going on and where I was going.  They got there about when I came out with Ray and Sheldon saw me turn and make one guy cry.  Then we backed off and watched as Horatio and the SWAT team busted them.  He looked really hot in the SWAT coveralls.  My baby looks good in all black."

Mac swatted him.  "You're never being left alone with people who can't stop you," he warned.

"If I hadn't, Ray could've died, Mac.  They took him from school."

"Still!"

"Mac, SWAT going in would've shot him.  They were still trying to rough him up, he wasn't tied to a chair.  Just handcuffed. Since then I made sure he started better self- defense lessons.  It's not like they weren't little bitches begging for an alpha dog.  Even Ray Sr. could've taken them over.  I wasn't in any danger, I used a distraction technique to get in there."

"What did you use?" Willow asked.

"My famous garlic bomb."

She shuddered and moaned. "That's just cruel, Xander."

"Yeah, well, they all gagged at the smell."  Mac opened his mouth. "It's somewhere between a jerky fart and rotten garlic.  Very effective in clearing out nests so Buffy could get them as they ran out complaining."

"Oh, yeah, we used it at least once a month on the bigger enclaves," Willow agreed.  "We used one on the Initiative base to get out."  She looked at him. "Giles made it really weak too."

"Nothing I didn't expect. It takes a real man to make those."  He grinned at Mac.  "I've got the stuff set up in the basement kitchenette if you wanted to watch me cook."

"Would it stink up the house too much to make one of those?" he asked.

Xander shook his head.  "Not while it's cooking.  When it's cooled down is when it starts to stink. I usually put them into either a baggie or something like a thin blood pack baggie. It's small but it works *really* well."

"I'm going to watch you make one, Xander.  Then we'll talk about stupidity being your middle name at times.  You know how to plan, use it."

"I did!  Even Danny said I did okay."

"I'll talk with him later."

"He's vowed to deny any knowledge under threat of having one of those land on him."  He grinned and headed downstairs, pulling Mac with him. "We're going to make garlic bombs," he called. "It won't stink."

Eric moaned and shuddered.  "Sheldon told me about that."

Ray looked at him.  "I had to live with smelling one up close and personal.  I've smelled decomp before and it's nastier."  He went to find his mother, giving her a hug.  "It'll be all right, mom."

"They had you?"

"For about an hour.  They were still at the taunting phase.  Xander made them gag with a stink bomb and got me free."  She looked at him.  "It worked.  It's really rank, mom.  Really, really rank.  Like toxic socks rank."  She smiled at that.  "He walked right behind Monroe and she never noticed."

"I'm sure Mac will fix that, son."  She stroked his cheek.  "I do not want you on the front lines if they come here while we're here."

"That's fine with me," he agreed happily, smiling at her.  "If you guys are here, I'm a nice, normal teenager with a yen for a car."

"That money is for your college," she said firmly.  "I don't care if he did set you up money for it.  You'll use yours first."

He patted her on the cheek.  "Mom, he's family.  He said he's family.  If I did that he would pout, then Horatio would pout and sulk, then you'd be more miserable, and in turn make me even more miserable.  It'd be one of those endless cycles of misery."  She rolled her eyes, heading for the kitchen.  He followed, going back to his cooking lessons.

***

Danny answered Don's desk phone. "Flack's office."  He grinned.  "Hey, Mac.  No, he had to go to the little girl's room."  He listened, then stood up.  "DON!"  He came jogging out of the bathroom, pants still undone.  "Fix that shit.  Someone took Eric."

"Delko?" he asked hopefully. Danny just gave him the 'dumbass' look and he sighed, zipping up his pants and taking the phone. "Mac?"  He listened to Horatio go over what they knew.  "What do you need from us?"  He listened, then made notes. "Sure.  Tonight.  Where are you?" He snorted.  "Which one, Horatio? I know he told you."  He nodded, making note of that as well.  "Done, I'm there.  Thanks."  He hung up and looked toward his boss's office.  "Boss, I've go to help Horatio deal with Xander.  Someone stole Xander's son and he's out for vengeance."

"Is this a New York case?"

"Mac said the kidnaper's native," he offered.  "It's family."  He packed things and looked at Danny.  "I'd bring you if I could, man."  He headed out, going to get the special supplies Xander had him hold for him. He got home and put everything in the center of the circle Willow had inscribed on the floor, then set the signal to let her know something needed picked up, heading to pack his personal bag.  He'd fly down.  He didn't trust magic that much.

Danny walked into the lab and cleared his throat. "Mac's in the middle of a situation in Miami.  He might be back late," he announced.  Stella glared at him.  "Someone stole Xander's son."

"They're dead men," Sheldon said quietly.

"That's why they wanted Don, to try to hold him back and as extra support.  Horatio thought they had someone inside the department.  We're not sure who yet."  He looked at Stella.  "Xander's given Mac a new toy from what he said."

"What sort?"

"Super stink bomb.  Smells like a jerky fart with rotten garlic in the sun."  She made a grossed out face.

"Well, the kidnapers will suffer," Sheldon said blandly, looking at him. "They need more help?"

"Nope.  Horatio's pissed and Xander's becoming the God of Dishin' It Out.  They won't need more than clean up as long as Don can control Xander from going."

"I wish him luck," Sheldon said fondly, going to get back to work. "Let me know if they need more help."

"Sure."  He looked at Stella, moving closer.  "He probably walked in right after it happened," he said quietly.

"I understand.  Don get the time off?"

"He told his boss it was family and that the kidnaper was local to us.  She didn't do more'n gape."   She nodded at that, smiling just a bit.  "Not like this is a fun trip."

"It's not.  Where are they?"

"A bolthole Xander has.  It's where most of his swords are, the ones that Speed didn't steal."  She grinned at that.  "Yeah, Mac's probably playing with the weapons.  You know Mac."

"Oh, I know Mac," she agreed dryly.  "Let's get back to work and clean up in case we have to run down there."

"Sure," he agreed, patting her on the arm.  "Dinner?"

"As long as it's not that jerky."

He grinned.  "You didn't like the effects?"

"NO!  I like being able to sit," she complained, heading off.

"The day we guarded him was the day we tried the jerky," Monroe told him.  "I'll never touch another thing Xander makes."

"I take it you heard about the breath spray?"

"The minty paint remover?  Yeah, he gave me some to take the taste out of my mouth."  She walked off shaking her head.

Danny grinned. "Wonder if it makes him faster in the water."  He went to clean up his last case just in case they were needed in Miami.

***

It was nearly ten the next morning when they found the kidnaper's location.  The officer helping Jane gave up fairly easily.  Jane was still screaming as she was loaded into a car.  Mac had taken Horatio's gun from him when he looked like he was going to shoot her, giving him the baby instead.  They took him back to the house, letting him walk in.

"Daddy, poo!" he called, grimacing as he toddled to find his father. "Poo, Daddy!  Bad poo!"

"Ah, so they used a stink bomb," he said, picking him up to cuddle him. "Eric," he sighed, squeezing him.

"Daddy, poooooooooo!" he whined, then he saw his mommy and grinned. "Mommy, poo!"

"I know, baby. I've smelled his stink bombs."  She took him to hold and look over, including changing his clothes since they stunk. "You're probably hungry."  He leaned over and tried to latch onto her chest.  "Eric!"

Eric, big Eric, leaned in and grinned.  "I'm guessing you weren't calling me?"

"Why is my son a bigger pervert than you?" she demanded, picking him up and carrying him into the kitchen.  Where Big Eric's mommy cooed and fed him anything he wanted, including a lot of cookies.  "Real food too."

Eric hugged her from behind.  "All kids are perverts.  Besides, you're a pervert at work.  Xander's a pervert at home.  He got the best of both of your natures."  She glared at him so he beamed and gave her a squeeze.  "He okay?"

"No scratches.  Just smelly."

"Now I know why Xander carries those inside another bag to make sure they can't break open on the way there," Mac complained as he walked in.

"Mac, I will be making you clean the hummer," Horatio warned.  He walked into the kitchen, figuring the baby was back there.  He looked around. "Eric?"  He giggled so he followed him out to where he and his daddy were petting the Delko's dog.  Diana moaned and headed out there.  "It'll be fine."

"I can't catch him when he does that."

"I can't catch Xander when he does it and I'm trained to catch people who're sneaking," he offered. "I have no idea how they do that."  She nodded, leaving it there. He sat beside his son, stroking over his hair like he was the dog's.

Eric scowled at him.  "Me not doggy!" he said, removing the hand.

"Fathers can pet their sons when they've been away for a while," he assured him, giving him a hug.  "You're all right, that's all that matters."  Eric stared at him, head tipped slightly to the left like Xander did.  "What?"

"Love you too, Daddy 'Oro."  He kissed him on the nose then wiggled down to play with the dog.

Xander grinned.  "He's my boy."

"He is."  He pulled Xander closer, kissing him gently.  "I love you too, Xander.  You too, Eric.  Daddy loves you."  Eric beamed at him and squealed when he saw his mother, dragging her over to play with the dog. He kissed Xander again.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  All I did was guard and make stink bombs."

"It was still important and you kept me from panicking.  You're good at that."  He took another kiss, settling Xander into his lap.  "You should go swim with him."

"Not until he's three."

"Why?"

"It's better to teach them how to swim about then.  The doctor said doing it earlier could encourage him to try to sneak into the pool.  By then he'll realize he can't go in alone."

"That's fine."  He stroked Xander's stomach as they watched the boy and dog play.  "Hopefully my daughter won't have these problems," he offered quietly.

Xander looked back at him, grinning.  "Probably not.  It's a genetic thing I think.  Speed doesn't."

"Speed so does," Eric said as he joined them.

"Poo!" little Eric said, glaring at him.

"Fine, I'll go change."  He went back inside to change clothes. His mother had packed them all a bag, that had been why she was procrastinating, well, part of it was finishing diner but mostly because she was packing emergency bags.

"What is that stench?" Marisol shouted.

"Xander's stink bombs, half an hour later," Mac called back.  "Or possibly a summertime construction porta-potty after a bad run of garlic shrimp, can't be certain, but one of those two."  He looked at Don, who was on the couch.  "Comfy?"

"Very.  Xander got handcuffed to me.  That way he couldn't do anything stupid or magical.  I got Willow locked in the bathroom too."  He looked at Mac.  "She's hopefully getting Ryan cleaned up in there."

"I saw him head that way.  He's got cranky wife radar," Ray offered, handing him a soda and Mac a water.  "There, you deserve it.  They should hand you guys cookies too since you went through the gas attack."

"I've got the recipe for them.  I'm letting SWAT know," Mac said with a smirk.  "I'm sure they can use it."

"You want others to complain about the smell of an outhouse in high summer after a bad load of shrimp fell in it?" Don asked him.  "Why are you so mean to my city, Mac?  We took you in, fed you when you're hungry, clothed you, gave you a job you pretend to love, even gave you Stella and Danny as consolation prizes."

Mac swatted him.  "The crooks will give up when they smell it."

He grinned.  "Can we send one to Sonny?"

"Wish granted," Xander called. "I sent one late last night when I went out for more soda."

Mac and Don shared a look.  "Don't look at me, we're in-laws, man.  My family isn't that evil," Don reminded him.

Mac nodded.  "Yes you are."

"Mine's tainting by Xander."

"Wait until you have kids," Ray joked.

Don considered it then shuddered.  "Nope.  My kids will not turn into little Xander's."

"Willow and Ryan say the same thing now and then," Ray assured him, grinning at him. "Mom too and look at me."

"Guess Dad'll have to have another son," Don said after a moment's thought.

"If you do, I don't want a little Xander running around the lab," Mac ordered.

"My kid'll be a stock broker and break dad's heart," Don snorted.  "That's how these things work.  Either that or he'll join a gang like the Malas and disappoint the old man horribly."

"No, if he does that, *then* you send him to Xander," Mac ordered.  Don smirked.  "If I have any and they go that way, I'm sending them down immediately."

"Horatio and Speed still joke about sending Xander up when he's bad," Ray reminded them.

"If that happens, we'll let Danny straighten him out," Don assured him dryly, smirking at him.  "Naughty you, Ray."

"I've been good all morning. I'm not the one who came home smelling like shit."

Mac smelled himself.  "Fortunately I threw it away really quickly when the one broke."  He went to change his shirt and wash his hands, just in case.

Alexx called and Ray put it on speaker.  "Hi, Alexx.  Everything and one okay?"

"Everyone's fine, sugar, but why did someone want me to destink some suspects?"

"They had Eric."

"Delko?"

"Little Eric."

"And they're not dead?" she snorted. "Horatio is God for keeping Xander from killing them. The stink?"

"Xander's garlic bombs.  Mac took some with him," Don offered, opening his soda to take a drink.  "You sure you're all okay? Calleigh and everyone?"

"We're fine and she's here.  She's pouting because she can't see Xander's arsenal."

Xander stuck his head in. "Horatio said we'll be here for the rest of the day and night.  They can come out and we'll have a cookout."  He ducked back outside, going back to his cuddling his man and son. They needed cuddled, they had been in danger.

***

Horatio looked up as Calleigh came in, pointing at the doors. "He said you have to ask to check anything out," he said quietly.  She nodded and looked in the slightly open cabinet, beaming.  "You can look all you want."

She pouted at him.  "Is this all he has?"

He shook his head.  "No, this is all he has *openly*."  He nodded at the door so she closed it.  He opened all the cabinets he had found last night, making her ooh and awe over some of them.  "He said you have to ask," he reminded her. She beamed and went to look.  He came over at her hurt noise.  "What?"

"Dirty."

He looked and nodded.  "We were testing it last night into the water.  He'll do it later tonight."

"He'd better!"  She looked it over. "Was it an easy shoot?"

"It was like butter," he assured her. "Smooth, little recoil in automatic mode.  You'll have to fight Mac for it."

She grinned and went to find Mac, bringing it with her.  "Horatio said I have to fight you for this one."

Xander looked at her.  "Calleigh, mine," he said firmly.  "You can play with my toys but they stay here when you go home."

She pouted.  "I don't have one of these in the lab."

"We don't either," Mac admitted, giving him the same look.

Xander sighed.  "I'll give Horatio my contact as long as you don't bust him.  He's a nice guy who doesn't sell to street thugs."  He went back to reading.

"I love you," she said, hugging him around the neck.  She felt a touch to the gun and glared at the baby.  "No! You do not touch guns!"

Xander looked.  "Eric, no."  He walked off, going to chase the dog again.  "He knows he doesn't touch those."  He looked at the book again.  "Go back to playing."  She trotted back there with Mac.  He looked over at his son. "When you're older.  Not until you're older."  He went back to sucking up to his mother and the other women.  When the doorbell rang, he got up to get it, finding Stella, Danny, and Sheldon.  "Did crime stop in New York?"

"Chasing an idiot down here," Stella admitted.  "Can we have Mac and Don back?"

"Mac, Don, your city came calling!" he called, getting out of the way.  "Mac's playing with the guns and swords.  Follow their cooing."

Danny headed that way, opening the rec room door.  "Mac, put down the damn gun, we've got a case and we need you.  One of our head guys came down here.  He's down here to terrorize the nice, tanned, fake boobs down here and that's pissing off Stella since he can't see his way fit ta threaten the real one's she's got.  So let's go."  He saw Mac looking at the guns, inching toward them.  "You do it and I tell him."  Mac walked out, trying to sneak the sword out.  Xander took it and walked it back to the rec room.  "Thank you.  He don't need more.  Flack!"  He came down the stairs.  Danny looked at him.  He was wearing dark blue shorts and a t-shirt.  He blinked then stared, then finally nodded. "Sure, you can chase a Gambini guy in that.  Let's go."

"Let me change," he sighed, going to do that.  "Horatio, we're going to rip up your city."

"I'm going with you," he assured him, heading out with them.  "Mac, you still need to clean my hummer," he complained, glaring at him.

"I aired it out," he promised.

"It still stinks."

"Go really fast down the highway with the windows open."

"Not.  Funny."

Danny grabbed his canister of breath spray and got to work inside, leaving the doors open. "There.  It's not stinky.  Just smells like toothpaste.  Don!"

"Coming!  Hold your horses."  He came out doing up his tie.  "Thanks for the reload, Xander."

"No fair," Mac complained.

Xander walked out, handing Mac a bag.  "For you. Use it well."  He kissed Horatio.  "You behave and be safe or else I'm destroying everyone who hurt you or let you get hurt."  He kissed Don on the cheek.  "Come back tonight and I'll cook."

"Sure.  Not."  Xander grinned and Don sighed, getting into the hummer with Horatio.  Danny got into the back to talk to them while Stella filled Mac in.

Xander waved.  "Be safe or else I'm going to be mad!"  He went back inside, catching the baby before he could sneak out.  "Not a chance."  He walked back there, finding Calleigh still in there playing with the weapons.  "Keep a secret?" he asked quietly.  They were mostly alone in the house.  Horatio had made Eric stay with them today.  She nodded, following him to the wine cellar, making her sigh in pleasure.  He grinned and tapped in a code so she couldn't see, then led her off.  "This is the hurricane shelter.  There's a general code that is taped overtop of the keypad.  It doesn't lock so Eric can't lock himself in."

"Which one?"  She grinned at him.  "Big Eric might."

"No, that was Danny."  He led her into the armory, letting her see and moan.  "Mine.  All mine."

"Yours," she complained, touching one.  "I like that."

"I know you do."  He patted her on the back.  "If you need an exemplar match, you can borrow it.  Not have it, but borrow it."

She smiled.  "Thank you, Xander."  She kissed him on the cheek and went to look. "Where does this door lead to?"

He looked at it, then at her.  "An escape hatch to the beach.  It's not finished.  It's sealed."

"Shoot.  How long before you finish it?"

"That depends on Horatio ignoring me for a few weeks."

She burst out laughing.  "Yeah, right," she snickered.  "Never again, Xander."  She patted him on the cheek.  "I want one of those stink bombs for Eric's locker."

"Eric is my buddy and I would never do anything that would upset him.  Or else I wouldn't have anyone to swim and complain about my husband with."   She pouted and he shook his head, walking her out and closing the door, checking it to make sure the baby wasn't in there before he locked it, then he walked her back to the house and upstairs.  The baby was eating from mom's lap.  Eric was grinning at them. "I assured her I would not give her anything to pick on you about, unless she wanted a picture of you in a speedo."

"No, not really.  Speed might get mad."  She shrugged and hugged him.  "Can't I get you to arrest him so I can have his guns?"

"No, dear."  He patted her on the arm.  "Even the illegal stuff wouldn't get me to arrest him.  Not even drugs.  Not that I think there are any, but I wouldn't.  I know Xander would never go evil unless someone hurt Horatio."

"Damn it.  He's got a nice compact missile system."

He looked at him. "When did you get that?"

"It came in the other day. Toby got it for me."

"Where did Toby get it?"

"Some guy in the military who sent it to his mother.  She didn't want it."  He shrugged. "He gave me paperwork saying it was legal and it'll disappear if someone tries to come and take it.  That way I have something to use on the next three hundred foot demon I run into coming out of the sea."  Eric moaned at that.

"When was this?" Diana demanded.

He looked at her. "I didn't have him then."

"I didn't ask that!"

He grinned.  "No comment."  He kissed her then walked inside.  "Anyone want something to drink?"

"No, I'm good," Eric called.

"I could use some juice or something," Diana called, shaking her head.  Calleigh was still pouting.  "My son is not to get into the gun cult he's got going with you and Taylor," she ordered.

"Oh, no.  We'll teach him gun safety and that's it," Calleigh assured her. "Until he's old enough to realize why we have guns and can make his own decisions."

"Fine," she complained, looking at her son.  "Don't be like the daddy in that, okay?"  He smiled at her.  "Good boy.  Yes, you'll be mommy's good boy, Eric."  He beamed and nodded, eating another grape from the plate they were sharing. Xander brought out drinks, settling in to watch the water.  "He's giving you bad habits."

Xander looked at her. "I was worse before, Di.  Who do you think fixed all the slayer's weapons and carved the majority of her stakes?"

"Her watcher?"

"Rupert," he snorted. "Yeah, right. I used to carve stakes while I had big thinks."  He shifted and put his feet up on a free chair.  "Eric, spend some time in the pool?"

"I could use some," he agreed, sipping his juice, since Xander had ignored him. He gave him a look.  "You fuss worse than my mom."

"That's because I'm antsy.  She's going in for the text next week and I don't think it took."

"It didn't," he agreed.  "The others all knew by now."  He looked at Calleigh.  "When are you and Speed thinking about kids?"

"When I retire or I get so badly hurt I can't do the job anymore.  It's too dangerous and I don't want to be a mom. I'm living vicariously through all the ones around me."

"Yeah, me too.  Mom's nagging badly again."  Xander nodded at that. "She got you too?"

"Yup.  Thinks it's cute that I'm with Horatio and all that but she didn't understand that we're married, not just fuckbuddies or lovers."  He looked at Di.  "Am I doing the spring show?"

"I'm not sure yet.  I was thinking about going with a totally unknown crew since I got a complaint from both Police Chiefs about using their officers in such a seductive and salacious manner.  Then there's your fan contingent, which hasn't calmed down in case you hadn't noticed."

"No, I haven't gotten any presents."

She gave him a look, then moaned.  "Xander, they've been sending crap for you to the station."

"Not that we've heard," Eric assured her.  "We've even been checking for it since we got the lime green hummer."

"That was the vampire in LA," Xander reminded him as he picked up his phone to call his IAB contact.  "Phil, it's Xander.  Diana, the mother of my son..."  Pause.  "No, he's okay.  We got to him before they could do more than scare him. He's eating grapes with us right now.  She told us, me, Eric Delko, and Calleigh, that people have been sending stuff to me at the station again?  Eric and Calleigh said they haven't heard anything."  He frowned.  "Really?  No, not that dad's said.  Thanks."  He called Speed's phone.  "Tim, have you been accepting presents for me again?"  He grimaced.  "No, Di said there's been some.  No, he's good, eating grapes."  Pause.  "No, she said since the hummer.  That was the idiot in LA.  Spike had a word with him."  Tim laughed at that.  "Hey it worked.  Thanks."  He hung up. "He'll ask around. Phil thought Speed had been cataloging it."

"If we haven't been getting it, where has it gone?" Eric asked.

Calleigh looked at him.  "Theft?  Evidence?  Misplaced in a storeroom by the receptionist since she still think he's warping you into being the sort of slut he is?"

"No fair, I haven't been a slut in weeks," he protested. Everyone stared at him.  "I haven't."

"We're all trying to keep Horatio to the simpler cases," Eric offered, patting him on the hand.  "That should get better soon, Xander."

Xander gave him an odd look. "Does Horatio know this?  He'll throw a fit, Eric.  You know how territorial he gets about his cases."

"Yeah, but if he's not getting any, he's cranky.  When he's cranky, suspects have to be chased down because they flee in fear of him, or they cry on him, which then upsets you further and he doesn't get any for another night.  We'd prefer Horatio to be thoroughly sexed, content, and smiling nearly every day."

"So would I, but life has other issues," Xander said dryly.  His watch beeped and he looked at it, then got up.  "I've got to head out for an hour or so.  You guys watch the son."

"Where are you going?" Eric asked, hopping up to follow him. "Horatio said to stay here, Xander."

"It's test result day, Eric.  I promise I'll be safe."  He went into the garage.  The car he had stashed here was a nice sports car, not his usual ride in the least.  He slid into the seat and started it, backing out slowly, then hitting first gear and taking off before Eric could do more than stare in appreciation.  He drove like every other guy in the city with his car would, a little faster, a little tighter in the corners, about eight miles over the legal limit.  Not enough to get a ticket, but enough to show off his engine.  He knew Eric wasn't dumb enough to put his hidden car out on Dispatch to be watched.  If he did, Ray Jr. would get this car and he'd have to get a different car.  He pulled into the clinic's parking lot and got out, heading inside.  The nurse smiled at him and took his testing number, writing it down and handing him a number to be seen.  He sat down, nodding at the few people he knew.  When his number was called, he went back into the office, smiling at the nurse he knew so very well.  "How are you today?"

"Not good at the moment.  Sit, Xander."  He sat, starting to look worried.  "I don't want you to stress, but have you been feeling ill?"

"I popped positive?" he asked, his world crumbling.

"No, you had a test that was anomalus.  It didn't test positive but something skewed it.  I don't know what.  Have you been feeling ill?"

"No, not since I started eating my jerky again."  He leaned back, considering it. "It's spicy, could that affect it?"

"Depends on the spices."

He wrote out the recipe and handed it over. "What do I do?" he asked when she tucked that into his file.

"First, we'll do a second test.  Then we'll do another one in a week.  Just in case whatever it was that was causing it is still around."  He nodded slowly.  "Until then I want you to eat nothing that could compromise it.  None of this jerky stuff, nothing else odd.  Nothing unusual.  Nothing that could make you feel ill."  He nodded slowly again.  "Until then, I'll also remind you to practice safe sex."  He whimpered.  "Xander."

"He refused!  He took the condoms and threw them out.  He said I'm fine and he's in me most of the time.  I protested and he still refused."

"All right.  Then we'll need him in here for a test as well.  Do you want us to contact him?"  He swallowed and shook his head.  "Are you sure?"  He nodded.  "Do you want to do it here?"

"No," he said weakly. "He's in the middle of a huge case."  He blinked the tears back. "What's the chances that it's a false one, or that I'm actually positive?"

"Fairly slim at this point," she pointed out.  "It's been nearly two and a half years since you gave up stripping."  Xander swallowed and nodded.  "Calm down.  We'll pull blood today for the second test.  Until then, you've got to tell your husband tonight and you've got to make sure he understands you may not be safe any longer.  If you want me to, I can talk to him for you, Xander."  He shook his head, Horatio would hate that.  Hate him for that. "All right.  Let me get the nurse in here to draw the blood, then we'll talk, all right?"

"Anything in particular?"

"No, not at the moment."  He nodded, taking off his shirt.  "Nipple ring?"

"Sterile needle. I had it done by a professional."

"Good."  She paged the nurse, getting her in there.  "We need to do a test since he had an anomalus one.  Schedule him to come back in a week for a second one."  She nodded, taking Xander to do that.  She made notes in his chart and thought about talking to his husband, but the boy was strong enough to do that.

***

Xander put down the motel room's phone, then picked it up and tried it again.  "Horatio," he sighed, getting his voicemail. "Call my cell when you get this, we need to talk, babe."  He hung up and laid down, getting comfortable.  He wasn't going to be doing anything with Horatio and the only way to avoid temptation was to avoid him for a few days.  Someone knocked on the door, making him moan.  He got up to let his mate in, looking at him, seeing the anger.  "Sit.  Now."  Horatio sat, still glaring at him.  He closed the door and locked it.  "I had an anomalus test.  They're not sure why yet.  They did a second one today and I'm doing a second proof test in a week.  They want you to have one too," he babbled.  "So I'm staying here until I'm *sure* I can't give you anything."

Horatio stood up and grabbed Xander by the shoulders, shaking him.  "Shut up, Xander."  He shut up, just looking at him.  "Slower.  I can't think that fast."

Xander glared.  "Don't start that shit again!"

"You hate it when I do it, I hate it when you do it," he pointed out bitterly.  "Now, what happened?"

Xander sighed and flopped down on the bed, looking up at him.  "I had a test that came out anomalus."  Horatio slowly sank back into his seat, staring back.  "They're not sure why.  I'm to eat normal people food.  I'm to do nothing that could interrupt this test.  I had one today and I'm having a second proof test in a week.  They want you to have one too since I told them how you feel about condoms."

"You've been fine for the last two years," he said quietly.   "Why now?"

"They don't know yet.  She asked if I had felt sick, so I'm guessing that might throw it off somehow.  Maybe something in the jerky?  I don't know," he admitted miserably.  "But I can't take the chance that I might...."

Horatio stood up and shoved Xander onto his back, straddling him.  "Shut up, Xander."  Xander glared at him.  "You're not positive.  I know you're not.  We can do the test in the lab if we have to."

"That would be misusing resources," he reminded him.

"Fuck resources."

Xander grimaced.  "They can do yours too."

"I do mine in the lab.  I let Alexx run mine."  He leaned down, taking a kiss.  "You're coming home. If I have to, I'll switch back to condoms for a few weeks.  I know you're not sick.  I'd be able to tell if you were."  Xander continued to give him that same miserable look.  "I know you're trying to avoid tempting me, but you can't leave me.  You can't do this alone and I need you there when mine come back this time."  Xander swallowed and nodded.  "When do you go back for your first set of results?"

"Three days.  Standard."

"That's fine.  We're going together."  Xander shook his head.  "Yes, we are.  I'll go hold your hand, you can hold mine when I go in for mine the next day.  I'll go in with you tomorrow to get the blood drawn."  He took another kiss.  "Just relax.  I know this is a false alarm, Xander. It's been too long to be anything but.  You haven't had any exposures since then."

"What if the Watcher guys bled on me and they had it?  Or it's some funky demon side effect from something I slayed in the last eight months?"

"You're dodging into alternate versions of what-if, Xander. It's not happening. I know it's not.  As a control, we'll have Ryan and Eric get tested. You three have done the same stuff recently.  Eric's been swimming in the same pools and Ryan's been eating as much jerky as you have.  If that's the cause, you'll either change the recipe or never eat it again," he ordered. Xander swallowed and nodded.  Horatio moved, letting him run to be sick, following to help him. "Shh, it'll be okay," he promised, stroking his back. "I swear to you it'll be fine.  You're not sick."

"I can't be. I'll make you sick...." he said, getting sick again.

"There's less chance that I'd get it from you since I take you, Xander," he assured him.  "Not no chance, but less chance."  He soothed him, calming him back down, letting him gargle with mouth wash.  "Do you want to tell them?"  Xander shook his head.  "Then how do we get them to do it?"

Xander looked at him.  "We shouldn't have to involve Eric."

"We should.  It could be something to do with one of the pools you guys have been in."  He considered it.  "It's nearly time for the quarterly tests anyway," he realized.  "The whole team can go together."  Xander relaxed against him, letting him handle it.  "Shh, it'll be okay."  He got him nearly asleep then helped them both up and out to the bed to lay down with him.  They could manage without him for a night.  This was more important.

***

Horatio paged everyone the next morning, getting a bunch of startled looks when they all appeared in his office. "It's time for quarterly blood tests for most of us," he noted calmly.  "Xander's doing his as well.  I thought we should all go together this time."

"I'm not due mine for another month," Eric told him, looking confused.

Ryan looked at Horatio, then at Calleigh.  "Calleigh, you're good with that, right?"  She nodded, it didn't matter to her.  "The lab?"

"No, Xander hinted that someone talked to him about it being a misuse of resources."  He grimaced, hands going to his hips unconsciously.  "I like the clinic where he gets his done."

"I just got mine done," Speed noted.  "What's going on?"  He looked around, it was all family.  "Horatio?"

He looked at him. "I can't tell you.  I don't have permission."

"A suspect?" Calleigh asked.  He shook his head.  "Xander?"  He shook his head.  "Then what?"

"There have been a lot of anomalus tests recently with certain problems.  One of them being ill while you have it."

"You can get a false positive from that?" Eric asked.

"No, you get a cloudy test," Speed said, suddenly getting it.  "You think one of us will pop the way the other did?  It's a control for the bloodwork?" Horatio nodded. "Which one?"

"I'm not sure.  Xander's in the same boat at the moment.  These will be done quietly.  If we have the lab do them and something like that shows up, we'll have to report it," he noted quietly.  "This way it doesn't have to be noted and we can figure out the root cause.  I'm fully expecting at least two of us to pop that way."

"Do we have any idea what the cause may be?" Eric asked. "I've been pretty clean for the last little while.  I'm swimming a lot more and partying a lot less."

"Maybe that's the problem," Ryan offered.  "Something in some of the pools?  If Xander's going in as a control, we've all had about the same sins, spread out among the group, as he has.  You his swimming, me the jerky, Speed his other food, Horatio his life, and Calleigh's the true control of the group."

"How widespread is this?" Calleigh asked.

"We're not sure yet.  That's why we're trying to find the cause," Horatio noted. "If we can narrow down the root of the anomaly, we can have the people retest without it in their system."

"Then I'm up for it, when do we go?" Calleigh asked.

"Today.  It's a walk-in day so go whenever you've got a few free hours."  They all nodded. "Thank you."

"Not an issue but I want to know the cause," Speed ordered, staring him down.  Horatio nodded and the others left.  "How is my son?"

"A wreck.  He tried to live at a hotel until the second proof test came out clear."

"When was he tested again?"

"Yesterday.  When he went for results."

"Ah.  Eric said he had escaped, said something about test results."  He gave him a long look, then slammed the door shut. "What do we think it is?"

"I'm not sure.  I'm expecting either Ryan or Eric to narrow it down."

"What if it's a combination of factors?"

"They'll keep doing tests until it comes out clear, one way or another," he said quietly. "I know he's not, but he's worried."

"Then why are you here?" Speed asked him.

"He ordered me to come to work after he went with me to get mine.  He said it'd help me calm down."

"Need I remind you my son is fond of doing stupid things when he panics?  Or don't you remember a trip to Montreal?"

"I do, which is why he's in the break room with Frank watching him," he said grimly. "He'd probably try to leave the country and hide somewhere in the desert in Africa."

Speed smirked. "Bush.  Hyena, Horatio."  He walked off shaking his head, going to check on his son.  He saw the panicked look.  "Horatio said you're being the control for a group of people who just had odd results.  You okay?"   Xander shook his head, gulping his soda so he didn't have to talk.

"Is that what this is about?" Frank asked.

"It's people who're like him, Frank.  They've been doing the same things he has, with the exception of the jerky probably."  He nodded and Frank left them alone.  "He told me," he offered quietly.  "Ryan figured it out already. We're going in today to see if we can weed out the cause.  Just relax and let us do what we do best, Xander."

"What if it's cloudy and hiding a badder thing?" he asked quietly.

"Then we'll still love you but we won't kiss you any more," Speed promised, patting him on the head.  "You're not sick, Horatio would know.  He'd sense it the same way you did when he got the flu.  Remember your instincts were screaming at you to take some more control?"  Xander nodded, putting his head down.  "What are your instincts telling you this time?"

"To slink off into the bush and lick my paw until it feels better and I can come back," he said quietly.

"You tried that and what did Horatio do?" Speed asked dryly.

"He found me even though I had barely called him only a second earlier."

"Uh-huh.  He probably had someone follow you when you didn't come home."  He dropped a kiss on the back of Xander's head as he stood up.  "Talk to the man, Xander."

"He's already in control, he might not want more."

"Yeah," he snorted.  "Remember, if you were really sick, he'd be fighting his instincts to put you aside.  That's how it's done, even with mates."  He walked out, going for his lab.

Xander wasn't comforted by that thought.  He really wasn't.  He still wanted to slink off into the bush to lick his sore, injured paw in peace and aloneness, that way he couldn't be a burden.

Frank looked at the boy, then popped him one upside the head.  "Don't even think about it, Xander."  Xander looked at him.  "What happened?"

Xander rubbed his face.  "I had an anomalus test," he said quietly.  "They're not sure why yet."

"Shit," he sighed, sitting down.  "So they're doing checks and Horatio's trying to find a cause?"  Xander nodded. "Think it's your cooking?" he asked, mostly to hear an amused snort, which he didn't get.

"I thought it might be all the jerky I'm eating," he admitted, looking at him. "I gave them the ingredient list."  He considered it.  If it was the jerky or something like a chemical reaction to one of the ingredients, he'd have to wait until his system cleared out totally, which could take months.  Or....  He stood up.  "I've got to see Ethan, tell him that, okay?"

"Fat chance you're getting out of here, Xander," Frank said calmly.  "He'd skin me."

Xander looked at him.  "If it's something like one of the spices, who says it won't still be in my body in a year, Frank."  He looked disgruntled. "I can fix that, but I need help and guidance."  He looked around, then chanted quietly and disappeared.

Frank groaned as he got up, heading to tell Horatio immediately that he had lost his boy.  He could do many things, but magic wasn't one of them.  He tapped on the office door. "He said he went to see Ethan about getting the spices out of his system?"

"Crap," he growled, calling over there.

***

Ethan's wards woke him about the same time as the phone.  He saw the number and figured who the other one had to be.  He got up and headed downstairs, glaring at the young man.  "It had better be life or death."

Xander looked up at him, nearly ready to cry.  "I need to detox everything unnatural out of my system."

"Why?"

"Because it's clouding blood work."  He swallowed. "Please, Ethan.  This is too important to screw up."

Ethan looked at him, he knew that look.  He's seen that same worry in many eyes right after a bad blood test.  "Yours came out positive?" he asked quietly.

"Cloudy, they couldn't tell."  He looked down.  "It's got to either be something to do with my swimming, which might mean the mermaid stuff I was exposed to back in my junior year, or it's got to do with the jerky I've started eating again.  Nothing else has changed."

Ethan went into the kitchen, putting on water to boil.  "There's two ways to do that, but neither will take the taint you carry.  They will however take all that nastiness that you call jerky out of your system.  First I need to do a few things, look you over, call your mate - who called just as you got here - and that sort of thing."  He measured tea into the pot once it screamed at him, then walked away for a few minutes, going to find the reference book he needed.  Xander was sitting quietly, curled in a corner of his couch like a little ball of human being.  "Calm down.  This isn't clearly a bad test result yet."

"I get three anomalus ones and they'll consider it to be," he said, looking at him.  "Those are the rules."

"They are," he agreed. "I've seen others it was done to."  He sat down with the book, then got up to get his tea.  "Xander, tea?"

"I can't eat."

"Tea isn't eating."

"Close enough."  Ethan came back, staring at him.  "I can't."

"You have to keep your strength up, either way it goes."  Xander looked up then shrugged.  "Fine. I'll have tea while I read.  You go rest for an hour or so.  I'll come to the house."

"Horatio was going to handcuff me at the station."

"That's because your first instinct was to flee."

Xander looked at him.  "Did you track me for him last night?"

"No, he has more mundane ways of tracking you than using me," he said patiently, going back to his reading. "Head home."

"I can't. I'll pace and fuss and whine."

"Yes, well, I can't concentrate while you're staring."

"Which way are we going?"

"I was going to try a new thing with you."  He sat down to start reading again.  "Home, Xander."

"Yes, Ethan."   He chanted and headed home, landing on the couch beside Eric, who reached over to smack him.  "Ow!"

"Quit trying to run, Xander."

"I wasn't. I was going to get someone to take all the jerky and stuff out of my system."

"Yay.  It's still close enough to running."  He looked at him. "Di wanted to know if you wanted the baby today."

"I...."  He stopped, then shook his head. "I can't, not right now."

"Okay."  He called her back.  "Hey, Di, me.  No, he's still kinda sleepy and going back to bed.  No, he's too tired.  I would but I'm at work.  What's wrong?"  He rolled his eyes.  "He's a toddler, they're all holy terrors."

"Maybe Marisol would babysit for a few hours?" Xander asked softly.

"Let me call Marisol, see what she's doing today.  No, I had to come out to wake him up.  Thanks."  He hung up and called his sister.  "Hey, it's me.  You busy and want baby Eric for a few hours?  He's driving his mother insane while she's trying to fit clothes.  The models are creeped out by the baby Xander."  He grinned.  "Sure.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Good idea."  He looked at him.  "You're doing what?"

"Hoping like hell Ethan's got a way to wear all the jerky out of my system."

"Does that mean you'll be a normal guy?"  Xander looked at him.  "Relatively speaking?"

"No, but I may not be able to eat my own cooking anymore."  He curled up in a little ball again.  "I'm not running.  You can go back to work."

"This is my assignment for the day unless we get multiple bodies."  He grinned at him.  "It's nice that my last case was easier."  Xander nodded, slumping down some.  "Go to bed, Xander."

"I can't."

"You can."

"No, I can't."  He got up and went into the kitchen, then headed outside for a run.  At least it'd get his blood moving.  He always felt better when it was moving.

Eric trailed behind him in his car.  No sense in him getting as sweaty as Xander was getting.

***

Ethan walked into Horatio's office. "I've knocked your boy out after I got done with him."

"Let me put you on hold, Chief.  No, he was helping Xander with something."  He put the phone on hold and looked at him. "And?"

"Something in the jerky does not respond well to chlorine in his body. Because of the taint he carries, his body was absorbing some of it.  He's fine, I took both out of his system."

"So it's the jerky or the pool?"

"Or quit making him take blood tests."

Horatio looked at him.  "I told him he could quit six months ago.  They told him he could quit six months ago."

"Good point.  He is a bit stubborn and paranoid where your health and safety are concerned.  It's now totally out of his system and it should come up clear when they do the next one.  I didn't feel it in him, Horatio, and I've helped a few with it before."

"Thank you."

"Not a problem."  He smirked.  "Xander now owes me however."

"I'll make sure it's nothing harmful."  Ethan just smirked and strolled off.  He put the Chief off hold and listened to him complain.  "Sorry about that."  More complaints.  "No, why?"  He listened to the question about why his whole lab was going in for blood work.  "Because it's nearly time for everyone."  He hung up on him.  Not politically correct but oh well.  It was fairly satisfying at the moment.  He leaned back, then pulled some results out of the bottom of his desk drawer, looking them over.  Their lab had found miniscule evidence of the mermaid's taint.  Nothing too terribly telling, just a few odd cells every now and then.  Enough that the computer had hesitated over declaring the skin sample normal and healthy. The DNA test hadn't shown any different but the blood work had always bothered him.  It showed a higher than average level of nitrogen in Xander's blood.  Which showed up as well in Eric's but that was from diving he assumed.  He went online to look that up, finding it odd and not included.  He'd have to get someone to redo that bloodtest now that he was perfectly clean.

***

Horatio got back his test, then looked at Xander, who the nurse stared at.  "Is his back?"

"I can check."  She got up to get both of them.  He had come in the next day and asked for his second proof test then.  She came back and looked them over.  "The first was still cloudy.  The second came out clear and negative on all counts, but something was caught about his blood being a bit thick."

"The jerky thinned it out some I guess," Xander offered quietly. "Thank you.  So I'm clear?"

"You are.  Was it the jerky?"

"Someone did a few simulations.  Eric Delko's might turn out slightly this way, we're not sure," Horatio offered.  "Something in the jerky and chlorine do not mix very well in the body."  Xander looked at him, getting a nod.  "If he got a cloudy one, it's a true reaction. If not, it's only in your body."

"Can I still eat it?"

"We'll see.  If his is, then it'll be a choice between the two.  If his isn't and it's just you, it still may be a choice between the two."

"Or he could quit taking the blood work," the nurse suggested.  "He's been clear all this time."

"I don't want to risk giving him anything," Xander reminded her.

"While that's noble, Xander, you're clear.  You've been clear.  This sounds like a guilty conscience."

"No, but I know what got sprayed on that floor and sometimes it did come in contact with my skin."

"Which was before we got together," Horatio reminded him.

"And that one guy who kidnaped me," Xander reminded him, grimacing.

"True.  I had wanted to forget about him.  How long ago was that?"

"A little over a year now."

The nurse looked confused.  "He exposed you?"

"His tests in jail came out negative but while he had Xander he brought himself off a few times over his bound body," Horatio explained.

"It's been over a year though?"  They both nodded, it had been.  "Then he's probably safe there as well."

"I don't want a 'probably' to come back and bite him on the ass," Xander said firmly.

"Good, then you can cut back to semi-annual checks," she ordered.  He frowned.  "Really, you can.  I know a lot of men who do that anyway, especially if they've had a transfusion in the recent past."

"Not in three years," Xander offered.

"Then you're perfectly healthy, Xander.  Start testing semi-annually.  It's good enough since you've tested clean so far."

"I have to get tested quarterly for work," Horatio offered.

"That's fine.  If yours comes up he'll be devastated."  She looked between them.  "It's good to know he has some support now.  We all worried about him when he never brought you in with him for results."

"That was his choice.  We tried to come with him and he snuck out.  Originally we didn't even know he was taking them."  He looked at his mate, who shrugged.  "This is something that most people want support for, Xander."

"I'm good with this."

"I'm not.  You tried to sleep in a motel."  Xander gave him a very telling look.  "I know.  I don't care, but I know."

"Did you warn Don too?"

"Not yet."  He took his hand to hold.  "From now on, you can come with me and I'll come with you to your doctor's appointments."

"I don't have...."  Horatio squeezed his hand. "Fine.  You win, I'll quit doing it alone."

"Thank you."  He stood up and walked Xander out, taking him past Ryan, who was there with Willow and Todd.  "You too?"  Ryan nodded.  "Everyone else?"

"We're having dinner on your porch tonight," he offered, grinning slightly.

"That's fine, Ryan.  Thank you for the warning.  I'll go buy food."

"Eric said we're all bringing something.  He's bringing Marisol, the baby, and kabobs."

"That works," Xander agreed, grinning slightly.  "Have fun with this, see you two later."  He walked out, taking the baby from Willow.  "Come on, Toddy, we're going to cuddle. That way mommy can jump your daddy and make him beg for mercy again."  The baby smiled and sucked on his cheek. "I love you too."  He walked out to the car, settling him into Eric's carseat.  Then he climbed into the front of the hummer, letting Horatio drive. "I really can go by myself."

"The point is that you don't have to go by yourself.  You sneaking off worries me.  It says to me that you're hiding something, probably something serious.  Then I have to get upset and it creates problems when Eric and Ryan plot to keep me off the harder cases."  Xander snickered at that. "Yes, I know about their plan.  No, I don't like it, but I'll work my way around Eric since he's trying to be helpful."  He looked at his mate.  "He will come after you if you keep making me worry."

"I'm sorry."

"I know, you weren't thinking beyond proving you were still a very strong man emotionally and that you didn't need me to go with you."

"No, honestly, I knew I could do it on my own and I wasn't going to burden anyone with worry."

Horatio looked at him, grimacing.  "It's a husband's right to worry when their spouses do stupid things, Xander.  Get over it."  He started the engine and backed out of the parking lot.  "Do we have *any* food?"

"Nope.  I ate that really nasty lamb in a box dish for breakfast."

Horatio moaned and shook his head. "One of these days you will be able to cook without setting off the smoke detector, Xander.  Even if I have to have us both turned to see that day come."

"You do and you're damning Don, Danny, Stella, Mac, and most of your team."

Horatio considered it.  "Well...."

"Don would kick your ass.  He said so."

"We'll have to see what happens.  If you would learn how to cook something beyond that damn jerky and the toxic materials you usually make, it'd be nice."

"I can make prepackaged stuff."

"Yes, but I'm told it's all bad for us.  Sheldon got onto my case a lot when he was down here about our diets."

"I'd rather die happy and sated than die with regrets and on a diet."

"Me too," he admitted.  "Life's too short not to enjoy it."

Xander slipped a hand over, touching his thigh.  "I'd offer a bit of enjoyment but Toddy might wanna watch."

"No, not in front of the baby," he agreed.  He pulled into a grocery store and they got out, heading inside.  "We still have to talk about your emergency plans, Xander.  It's much too much."

"No it's not."

Horatio looked at him.  "Yes it is.  You're giving yourself new toys."  He put the baby into the cart and walked off with him.  "Xander."

"Coming."

Horatio looked back at him and smirked.  "Promise?"

"Yes, and this time you won't be able to talk me into cleaning the closets," he quipped back.

Horatio smirked.  "We'll see."  He knew the art of redirecting the talk, he'd come back to this one later.

***

Xander leaned back in his chair, watching the two kids play.  Toddy wasn't able to do more than laugh and clap as Eric played on his sit'n spin, but it looked like fun from where he was sitting.

Ryan cleared his throat.  "You were right, Horatio."  He quirked an eyebrow up.  "Mine and Eric's both came out cloudy."

"Mine more than his," Eric admitted.

"Ethan said that there was some sort of reaction between the jerky and chlorine," Willow offered.  "I called him earlier to see what he had done to Xander this time since he felt so different to me."  Her husband smiled at her.  "He thought it was one of the more rare spices that make up that mix that you add, Xander.  The brown stuff?"  Xander nodded, knowing what she was talking about.  "He said if you eliminated that one it could create less problems."

"I think that's the same mix that gives it the strength," Xander offered.  "I'll try it."  She nodded. "Tomorrow.  What about as a muscle rub?"

"Not a clue," she admitted.  "But the way Ethan put it was either the jerky or the pool had to go."

"One's my strength, the other's my sport.  Not a very fair choice," he complained.

"Yeah, but what if you get hurt and they run the test at the hospital?" Willow countered.

"I go to the hospital?" he asked, looking at his mate, who nodded.  "I do?"

"Yes, you will.  You're still a mortal man and I will not have you dying due to stupidity, Xander."

"Yes, sir."  He slunk down some, looking over at the kids.  "Um, guys, babies moved."

Willow got up and followed the mess they had made, finding them trying to get something out from under the couch. "What is that?"  She saw the butt of the gun and knew.  "Xander!" she snapped.  "This thing had better have a lock, mister!"

"It's too heavy for him to pick up and too hard for him to pull," he assured her as he came in.  "Sorry, but we need them spread around the house now and then.  People keep dropping in."

She glared at him.  "That's not safe and you know it."

"Eric knows he's only allowed to look at the guns.  We've already gotten that one into him, Willow."

Horatio came out, taking the gun from under the couch.  Xander removed a second one and handed it over.  "I wondered where that had come from."  He looked at his mate, checking the guns.  "No round chambered," he assured her.  "They couldn't have gotten hurt."

"Bullshit!"

"Willow, how many times have people broken in here trying to shoot us?" Xander asked quietly.  "We have to have them spread around. A lock is nice, but I've had to pull twice from a prone position with someone standing in the house with us."  She was still glaring.  "You'd rather we were both dead and Timmy?  Ray Jr?  Anyone else?"

"NO!  Not the point though!"

Ryan walked in, hugging his wife.  "Seeing both sides of the argument, you're both right.  Willow, they *need* those guns there.  It's vital that they have them spread around the house somewhat.  All guns have safeties and I'm sure theirs are on."  Horatio nodded, checking them both.  "It's not a great stopper but it's better than nothing and it's not like we let the kids out of our sight anyway."  He looked at them.  "Maybe a better hiding spot?  One the kids can't pull it out of?  Something that requires a catch to be undone?"

"I've been thinking about that but I wasn't sure I could attach a holster to the underside of the couch," Xander admitted.

"It's a sad world that you'd have to," Willow said, shooing the kids outside with her.  They headed back inside.  She picked them up and carried them out, handing Eric to Tim.  "He found Daddy Xander's guns under the couch."

"I heard the yelling."  He looked at Horatio when he came back.  "You two could sell this house, the backup house, and find a new house," he offered.

"I like my neighbors," Horatio said quietly.  "We did need the bolthole as well."  He sat down, letting Xander have his lap. "If it were safer, I wouldn't let him keep one out there, Willow.  As is, it did save my nephew and Speed's life.  We'll figure a way to make it safer."

"Thank you.  Ryan's idea could work."

"Yeah, but I don't know how we'd do it," Xander complained. "It's not like there's a catalog of paranoid people furniture that come with holsters sewn in."

"You never know," Calleigh said dryly.  "There could be."

"That would mean other people attracted trouble like Xander does," Eric said as he stretched.  "Even the most paranoid only keep an armory."

"We don't have one of those here," Xander admitted.  "Just a few of mine and Horatio's service pieces."

"Having seen your idea of an armory, I'm not surprised," Calleigh assured him.  "You guys could move into the bolthole house.  It's pretty nice."

"Not my style," Horatio reminded her. "That's for emergencies and family issues."

"Fine."  She looked at the babies, then at Willow.  "As soon as he's old enough to understand you start telling him he can't touch guns.  I'm pretty sure Ryan keeps his locked up."  Ryan nodded at that.  "With some careful explaining, it'll be okay."

"I'm not so sure of that," she said grimly, looking at her son, then at her mate.  "Can you help Xander figure this out?"

"Sure, if he needs my help all he has to do is ask."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "He good?"

"Sleepy."  She let him take the baby and curled up against his side.  "Anything else going on tonight?"

"Nope.  Not if Speed and Eric have gotten through the essays?"

"I have and I've picked my top ten, though there were only nine I thought were outstanding," Speed offered. "A few tried sucking up."

Eric nodded.  "Those nine spoke to me too.  We've already compared notes.  It's the tenth that'll get us a longer meeting."

Horatio nodded.  "That can happen. Make sure I've scheduled us all off that day."  They both nodded.  He smiled at the sleeping baby in his mate's lap. "He's tired."

"It's been a long day," Xander agreed quietly, getting up to put him into bed.  He came back down and found most everyone gone. Except the napping Big Eric, who was leaning back against the porch railing asleep.  "We should get him onto the couch."  Horatio nodded, getting up to help him.  Then they cleared the dishes and went to rest.  It had been a long day, all they had the energy for was cuddles.

***

Xander walked into the station, looking at the door guard, who wasn't the usual guy.  "Paul's day off?" he asked as he signed in and ran his pass on the elevator's reader.

"He skipped off to Vegas with his girlfriend," he admitted, looking at the form.  "Are you an officer, sir?"

"Husband of one," he offered with a grin.  "IAB wants to go over some stuff that got sent to us here."  That got a nod.  He grinned at the one coming in off his patrol. "Hey, Craig."

"Xander."  He smirked.  "Lunch?"

"No, we got sent more stuff and no one told my spouse or Dad or anyone up there.  So IAB is trying to figure out why and what it could be."

"I remember the cars."

"Since then," Xander admitted, stepping into the elevator when it opened. "Ah, Ryan!" he said, giving him a hug.  "From your son, who is babbling at Eric this morning because Willow's pouting."  The door shut.  "Eric's mom came over and demanded to take the kids so I let her until I could get back home."

"That's fine, I trust his mom," he agreed, stepping off on his floor.  "Heading up?"

"IAB," he sighed.  "About the missing presents."  He waved as the door shut, heading up to the next floor and down the short hallway.  He knocked then walked in, seeing the secretary.  "Phil told me to come in today?"

"He's in a meeting, sir."  She looked him over, then stared him.  "Name?"

"Harris."  He sat down, smiling slightly. "He knows why I'm here."

"I'll call him."  She did that, speaking quietly. A minute later, two patrol guys walked in, hands on their guns.  "Him, boys."

Xander waved from his seat.  "Someone sent us more presents but they never showed up.  Phil called me in."  They both stared.  "I'm Horatio Caine's spouse."  That got a step back.  "PHIL!"  The office door opened and Xander pointed at the officers.  "Something you wanted to tell me?"

"He's fine, boys," Phil said patiently.  He glared at his secretary.  "That is the husband of Horatio Caine, the one who gets all those presents that keep you in paperwork.  Get to know him, he's always cooperated with us."

"Yeah, well, anything's better than Stetler's brand of paranoia," Xander said dryly, standing up.  "Ready?"  He shook his head.  "Okay."  He sat back down, looking at the patrol officers, then at the detective, who sighed and nodded them to go.  "Thanks.  I've had my looming quotient for the day.  I tried to sleep in and it was my day to make breakfast."

Phil leaned on the door.  "For some reason Caine doesn't seem like the unreasonable sort."

"His last case wrapped at three this morning with a stand-off."

"I got paperwork on that.  Forgot to set the coffeemaker?"  Xander nodded, grinning slightly.  "Still fighting?"

"No, I made him a good breakfast, gave him a kiss and some coffee, then told him to nap on his couch if he had a light day.  If not, I'd give him a killer massage tonight and he'd sleep himself out."

"Good."  He closed his office door and went back to his talk.

Xander looked at the secretary.  "Sometimes he does have to speak to spouses," he offered.  "Especially when odd things happen."

"I usually see threatening spouses.  That's why I call."

"Ehh, a bit of harmless excitement in their daily lives," he said with a smile.  "I'm better than a high speed chase any day."  She cracked a smile at that.  "Were they new?  Most of the guys know me on sight anymore."

"One was, one's probably not a big fan considering you have a husband," she said dryly.

"Yeah, I get those every little once in a while.  The last one ended in a bomb being attached to my car."  She gave him a horrified look.  "Before that it was the guy who tried to kill me."  He crossed his feet.  "I'm still here and neither of are so that should tell you everything you need to know about your boss.  He's very good at what he does and when strange things happen, he's very logical and listens to us."

"It's a good thing.  So, if I heard right, you're a stripper?"

"Former.  Been about two years," he admitted.  "I was tired of the life when I retired to be with Horatio."

"What happens if he leaves you when this infatuation is over with?"

He looked at his ring, then held it up.  "We consider ourselves married."

"Even real couples get divorced."

He looked at her, then snorted. "Horatio is the first person who's ever tried to understand me and he's pretty good at understanding me.  I doubt he's leaving of his own free will.  Should someone take him from me, the world may well end.  We're very protective of each other."  He stared her down, making her swallow.  "As I said, we consider ourselves married."  The officers came back and headed into the office so Xander curled up in a small ball.  "Horatio's not the sort to leave me.  He loves me."

"Still, on the job...." she started.

He snorted.  "On the job, he's the top CSI in the city. His team is the same as our family.  They'd help me get him back if someone took him.  Have in the past actually."  She looked stunned.  "The only people who don't like it, I could care less about until they do something stupid.  You're more than allowed to have your own opinions as long as they don't interfere with my living or my happiness.  The first time someone tries something to interrupt my happiness, I react.  Strongly."

Phil followed the officers dragging their brethren out.  "He does. The last person who tried to shoot Caine got it in the ass."  He looked at him.  Then he smirked.  "Then again, Caine is just as possessive and protective about him."

"He is, it's one of the things I cherish about my baby.  He loves me."  He stood up.  "So, presents?"

"I've found the log entries but not who took them," he admitted, letting Xander into his office.  "We know they're in the building.  The only thing I'm truly worried about is why someone took them."

"Could it be because they were trying to shield Horatio?  Like that one killer guy?"

"It's possible and that does worry me.  It worries me more than he saw an easy income enhancing opportunity.  Sit, Xander."  He sat down.  "This is what I found coming in," he offered, handing over the copies of the log sheets.  Xander frowned as he looked. "As you can see, it's a good amount again."

"At least it's not a car.  Any idea where they're coming from?"

"Yup."  He grimaced, leaning back.  "I knew about Benis before you did," he admitted.  Xander glared at him.  "He asked me to keep it quiet, told me he was slowly telling you and he did have good reasons.  It wasn't like he was a stalker.  This one I'm not sure about.  That worries me.  It also worries me that not all of those came from this woman."

"Woman?"

"Woman," he agreed bitterly.  "I know, not your sort."

"I dated some evil bitches before I got with Horatio.  He was my first and only guy."  He went back to looking. "How many are from the group that gave me the little Mazda?"

"Two.  There's another two things from individual officers.  When I found them, I went to have a talk with them personally, pointing out you were married and keeping Caine happy meant crime stayed getting caught."  Xander gave him a look.  "Those pieces are going directly back to them."  Xander nodded, he'd accept that. "I didn't think you'd have a problem since it was what you did when you knew who had sent you stuff before."  He sat up.  "The problem with the female is that I can't identify who she is, but I know where she is.  She's at Tentacles most nights."  Xander stiffened and stared at him, his eyes hard.  "And I know your past life has something to do with those places," he continued.  "What?"

"I used to hunt things like that," he said quietly.  "I came from a town overrun with them. That's why Timmy sent me to Horatio to mentor."

"Okay.  That clears up some of that.  The last one said it came with a card.  If we could find the stash, then we may have an identity. Until then, that's all I know."

Xander nodded once.  "Want me to search the building?"

"I've had maintenance do it," he admitted.  "Told them to do a thorough search."

"Did they do the back rooms under the cells?"  Phil looked confused. "I've noticed it in the past.  There's two small rooms down there.  They were probably originally interrogation rooms or something but they're down there.  Remember, this building got built on top of the ruins of the last one and that one still had some of the underground rooms leftover when you rebuilt."  He grinned. "Horatio told me."

"I wish someone would tell me this stuff."  He stood up.  "Let's bring this to your mate, see if he knows how you get down there."

"Ask Delko.  Maybe he's taken a girl down there."

"It'd be too grungy and nasty for his style."

"Not if someone's using it."  He followed him back to the office, looking at Eric, getting a nod and him trotting up the stairs.  "How do you get into the subterranean offices?"

"The door in the back of Holding that's marked Broom Closet 3 and then through the fake wall panel.  It's nasty down there, but I looked a few times."

Horatio came to his door.  "How did you know that?"

"Speed told me once.  Something about a dog that stole evidence and hid down there?"

"I remember that."  He looked at Phil, who was looking bemused as he shook his head.  "Come in, boys."  They came in.  "Eric, there've been new presents.  None of them have been logged in, none of them have been shown to any of us.  Someone is hiding them.  I'm assigning you that since you've only got the one case at the moment."

"Sure.  Did we do a building search?"

"I had maintenance do it," Phil offered.

Eric grinned.  "So they opened doors, looked at the lit areas, then left?"

"Apparently.  Can you handle this?"

"I'm in the middle of a case but once I'm free, which should be later, I can.  I've got to interview my prime suspect."

"Good.  Then I'll leave this with you.  Xander, I do want to know who and what this person is and why they're doing this."

"Ooh, you'll hear me screaming about it," he promised.  That got a pat on the back as Phil left them alone.  "He said it was someone at Tentacles, dear.  Oh, and his secretary had two patrol guys come in to arrest me for being a spouse.  I explained it to her, she thinks this is an infatuation."

"They'll learn," Horatio offered calmly, going back over the list.  "Another person like who gave you the hummer?"

"Female."

Horatio stared at him.  "Female?"  Xander nodded, smirking a bit.  "With your history of bad women...." he started. Eric snickered.  "He does.  Most of them have wanted to kill him."

"This one probably does too, even if it is only to turn me."  He shrugged and got comfortable.  "I'll help you search, Eric."

"Thank you, Xander.  I'll tell my mom I won't be over tonight."  He got up, going to do that and find his suspect with Yelina.

"Any ideas?" Horatio asked.

"Take your pick.  Dru?  Buffy if she went evil?  Faith if she woke up?"  He shrugged. "Not a clue, dear."

"We'll know soon.  I'll help with the search tonight."

"No, you're going to go home and rest," Xander ordered.  "It shouldn't take Eric and I that long.  We can lock it in evidence overnight and then go over it tomorrow with you and Phil."

"That's fine.  If there's that much, have him stick two officers on the doorway to guard it."  That got a nod.  "When you find out who was hiding it, I want to know immediately."

"Of course."  He stood up and stole a kiss.  "Take a nap for lunch. You're worn out and that'll make you dangerous on the streets.  I don't want you to have an accident."  He walked out, heading back downstairs.  He grinned at Craig.  "So, has anyone been acting really odd about me recently?" he asked him and the other guy.

"Two people and Wolfe knew one," the other guy offered thoughtfully.  "Why?"

"More presents came in and weren't found afterward."

"Shit," that guy said, whistling through his teeth.  "Well, sorry, Xander."

"Not your fault, guys.  Just wondering.  Tell Delko if you hear anything, okay?  He's helping me find them later."

"Sure.  Good luck with that, kid," Craig agreed, smiling at him.  "Have a nice afternoon."

"I am.  I'm going to buy a really powerful flashlight."  He grinned before walking out, heading for his car.  He nodded at Ryan as he walked past him.  "More presents."

"What did you get this time?"

"No one's sure yet," he admitted, grinning back at him.  "We're trying to figure out where they are.  You can help us later.  Eric and I are doing the search."

"I'm meeting Willow and Erica for a debate.  Sorry."

"Not an issue.  I like the thought of you in robes."  He winked and walked off, heading off.

Ryan grinned as he walked in, finding the older guard telling the newer one about Xander.  "He's a great guy," he assured him.  "Even though he is making my son a bit too much like him now and then."  They both gave him funny looks.  "He's a great babysitter.  It's just that he warps his own son and my son, and probably my future daughter, toward his slightly insane lifestyle."

"So your son will be a cross between you and him?" Craig asked.

Ryan grinned and nodded.  "Exactly.  It's not a bad thought, I don't want my son to draw the sort of trouble Xander does though."  He shrugged and got onto the elevator.  "Later, guys."

"And that's why Xander is so odd," the old guard offered.  "He warps *everyone* around him toward his ways. Wolfe used to be uptight, strong willed, didn't laugh that often, had a lot of problems integrating into the team up on CSI, and he's got OCD from what I heard when the other patrol guys talked about him.  Now look at him.  He's married to Xander's best friend, is going to have his second child, they're not germphobic, and he's relaxed a lot between is wife and Xander working on him.  She's more uptight than he is now."  That got a small nod. "Xander's a great guy, we love him, he makes Caine smile and relax.  We also like him because if we have another standoff situation, he jumps in to help.   He's always been very nice to us guys.  Last Christmas he brought in coffee and cookies for the guys on shift.  Then he had us sent dinner."  Craig smiled at that. "He's a great guy, just jumpy at times, he's known a lot of violence in his life, and, well, people like to think the boy's a slut since he's a show it and not tell it sort.  Watch out for the truly slutty clothes.  He, Delko, Salas's son, and a few others do some occasional work for this designer chick who does clubbing clothes.  They've all come in here looking nearly obscene and even the straight guys drooled over Salas' son Ray."

"Caine's nephew?"  That got a nod.  "He was cute, but young."

"Last time he walked in wearing her stuff, it was the day of a catalog shoot.  He was wearing pants so tight you could see what sort of dick piercing he had in," he offered.  "They were leather so thin you could almost tell the color of it.  Then he topped it off with a t-shirt that showed he'd been hitting the gym with Harris.  Also, Caine's nephew and his boy both get stalkers. So if they say something about a serial killer being on their ass, believe them.  Harris nearly became our next profiler before that benefactor of his died and left him his foundation."

"Wow.  Did he have one?"

"Ten."

The guy moaned and shook his head.  "Poor guy."

"Yeah, but he can handle himself.  He's taught Ray how to handle himself, and how to flirt with the ladies.  The same as he's teaching his son, who is a breast hound already."  The other guy laughed.  "Just wait, they'll all be in tomorrow probably."

"I'll take your word for it," he assured him, going back to his post.  That was just too strange for words.

***

Xander handed Eric the bag he had brought with him.  "Extra batteries and stuff."

"Mine recharges."

"I know that, the same as I know it only lasts an hour, Eric," he said patiently.  "Those are more rechargeable batteries."  He pulled his out of his backpack and handed him a bottle of water. "I also brought a first aid kit."  That got a smile.  "I know how I am.  You've got your kit, I've got mine.  Where are we starting?"

"Roof. There's two small storerooms up there that no one checked."  Xander nodded and followed him onto the elevator.  "Wolfe said he'd come with us but he had a candidate thing to do tonight."

"Debate."

"You think he can make it?"

"I do.  I think he'll make a good judge and it'll suit his ambitious nature."  Eric gave him a sideways look. "He'll still be part-time for the lab.  Horatio's already assured him of that."

"Good.  He's got skills, even if his initial personality wasn't that great."

"That was probably grief, Eric," Xander said dryly, staring him down.  Eric looked away. "But you're right, Willow has made him happier and more carefree."

"She has," he agreed, getting off when the doors opened.  "We'll have to take the stairs."

"That's fine.  Stairs don't scare me at the moment."  He followed him up there. "I asked Horatio if we could all go to the convention this year.  He said he'd check.  Any word yet?"

"No, not that I've heard," he admitted.   "If we do, you are not to get near a stage."

"I wouldn't anyway.  Horatio would get upset."  He smirked at him. "I keep my baby happy because he loves me, even in a naughty mood."  He opened the roof door and headed up the stairs, letting Eric prop the top door open since it automatically shut.  He even let Eric lead the way into the dim storage rooms.  He found something and called over. "Hey, Eric, someone's using this as a crack pad."

"Damn."  He came over to look at the evidence, sighing and calling the night shift.  "It's Delko.  We're searching the building for something and came across drug paraphernalia."  He looked around.  "Roof.  Smaller storeroom.  I'm with Xander.  Thanks."  He hung up.  Then he took a few pictures, just in case something disappeared since they didn't know the cause.  He knew someone on night shift was using drugs, just not who.  Someone walked in and he looked, nodding them over.  "Hey, Crissy.  This is Xander, Horatio's husband."

Xander shook her hand with a smile.  "I'm lending my blinding muscle mass to his."  She snickered at that.  "Found this for you," he said, pointing his light at it again.

"Pretty, with dugs even.  Thanks, guys, really."

"Hey, it happens to the best of us," Eric reminded her. "We've got to do a top-to-bottom to find this stuff we're looking for.  Expect a few more calls from out-of-the-way locations."  He walked Xander off, but Xander came back and poked on an area, getting an open grate.  "That's the airshaft."

"It can't be, not in a locked room."  He looked back at him.  "Should we check it out?"

"If we don't find anything, we'll come back to it. After I find some coveralls."  Xander nodded, leaving it there.

Crissy watched them head off, then shook her head quickly and looked in the airshaft.  Nothing that she could see. "I wonder what evidence they lost this time and if it was another dog?" she mused, getting to work taking pictures and gathering evidence.

***

Eric led Xander down into the basement levels an hour later, letting him look around. "This was the original building.  We were never sure why they didn't rip up all of it."

"Probably too expensive to dig it out and then restart," Xander offered, following him. He found a door and opened it, then blanched.  "Tell me the lab used to be down here?" he demanded.  Eric came over to look at the skeleton.  Xander looked at him. "Please?"

"Wish I could."  He pulled out his phone, noticing he didn't have a signal.  "Stupid steel construction."  Xander pulled out his hand handed it over.  "Thanks. Satellite?"

"And then some.  Willow'd."

"I'll have to have her do mine."  He called the ME's office.  "Why are you still here, Alexx?"  He grinned at Xander.  "She thought you were going to get into very bad trouble down here with just me around.  She stayed in case you got so hurt she had to force you into the ambulance this time."

He snorted.  "Not like I can't survive shit.  Alexx, we found you a pretty skeleton in a closet," he called.  "Right inside the old part."

Eric listened. "Yeah, that's how we got down here.  Sure, I'll leave him here until you get down here."  He hung up and put the phone in his pocket. "I'll hand it back after we're done," he promised with a grin. "Stay, talk to Bony there."  He walked off, there were still other rooms, including some of the old suicide cells.

Xander looked at the skeleton, leaning closer.  "You guys try to take over my body, my husband will be *pissed*," he whispered. "So let's not, okay?  I only want what someone sent me and someone else stole.  Then we're gone to leave you to your rest."  The skeleton didn't move, which was a nice switch in his life. He looked it over, noticing the fangs, and sighed.  "Please tell me you were a goth kid."  He heard a noise and jumped, spinning around, finding Alexx standing there with an amused looking patrol guy.  "Pronounced canine teeth."  He got out of their way, heading after Eric.  "We're finding buried treasure."

"Uh-huh," she called after him.  "I wanna see it when you find it, Xander."

"Yes, Alexx."  He checked the rooms he was walking past, finding Eric bending over something.  "That it?"

"No, someone's diary.  They've been sneaking down here for dinner breaks."  He stood up, putting it back down.  "I won't tell anyone about that.  It's not that important, even though we're not supposed to be down here."  He walked on with Xander beside him, taking the right side of the hall.   They quickly cleared the first level and headed down the stairs together, the flashlights seeming to not cut the gloom as much.  "Man, I couldn't work in this room."

"That's probably why they closed it.  That and there's too many claustrophobics in the department."  Xander found a locked door and whispered an unlocking cantrip, getting it open so he could look inside.  "Alexx, got another one!" he yelled.  "Two this time!"  The officer came trotting down the stairs and looked.  Xander handed over his spare flashlight.  "Newly charged."  He walked off, finding Eric looking at some older cells.  "Suicide cells?"  Eric nodded.  They could see inside them, it wasn't in there.  They ended that floor and Xander looked around, pointing off to the right.  "That way."  Eric gave him an odd look.  "The rooms on that side are more shallow than the ones upstairs. You don't build buildings like an inverted pyramid.  Besides, I found the old plans online."  He headed for where he had seen a hallway, finding a solid concrete wall.  He searched, finding the doorway behind it, then smirked and handed Eric his flashlight. "This won't hurt anything but back off ten feet."

"Tell me you're not going to blow the wall!" he demanded. "You could bring down the station!"

"No I can't."  He set everything up, then lit the love tap, collapsing the seams of that panel.  It fell and cracked, allowing him to step over it.  "It was already weakened, Eric.  It's not load bearing."  He took his flashlight back and headed back through the hallway, finding it even dustier and more deserted.  He found the other doorway and pointed.  "No dust."

Eric grimaced but nodded, taking pictures of that.  They found one last cell down there and that's where they found it.  "Caging it mean anything?"

"Control probably," Xander said quietly.  They looked at the things arranged around the room. "Hey, someone sent me *boy* jewelry this time," he said happily.  Eric gave him an odd look.  "I got things like broaches before.  How many cloaks am I going to wear down here?"

"Point," he admitted, if only so he didn't have to think about Xander doing drag ever again.  He walked inside, taking point in case there were any traps.  Nothing, just a shrine to Xander's skills as a hunter.  "When was that taken?" he asked, pointing at blown up picture of him staking a something-he-didn't-want-to-think-about.

Xander looked at his clothes.  "Junior year."  He looked around, then sighed.  "They left before graduation.  They had to have."  He pointed at another one.  "They died during graduation. They were turned my junior year so they were probably in Oz's original year."  He pulled on a pair of gloves and looked around, finding a letter started to Horatio.  "This one doesn't like the fact that he made me quit hunting.  He thinks Horatio's making me give up my destiny."  He moved on, finding the one note in there that wasn't from the thief.  He growled and looked at Eric.  "I'll see you later."

"Ah!" he ordered, taking the note.  "That's evidence.  You know better."  He looked it over, then at him.  "Who?"

"Stupid bitch vampire.  I dated her best friend," he muttered, shaking his head. "Truly one of the dumber ones."  He looked around again, then sighed. "There's no way Harmony could've done this on her own.  Phone?"  It was tossed over as Eric got to work taking pictures.  He found his phonebook and hit the one marked 'Bitch Queen'.  He hit send.  "Cordelia, Xander.  Why did Harmony suddenly fixate me and start sending me rubies?"  He listened to her splutter.  "Yes, the brainless blonde one, Harmony.  Your cheerleading pal?"  He leaned against the wall, flicking on the lights.  "Interesting.  I thought we didn't have power down here, Eric."

"We don't so they must've rigged it.  Works for me.  More stuff we can check for fingerprints.  Stay there and don't touch anything else."  He went back to taking pictures, changing out memory cards when his got too full.

Xander listened to his former girlfriend complain.  "Cordy, shut up," he said eventually. She shrieked at him.  "I mean it.  Now."  She fell silent, growling basically. "Thank you.  We know it's from Harmony, she sent a note!  No, I'm still in Miami with Willow.  She's got her husband and is pregnant with baby number two, a daughter we're pretty sure, and I'm married to Horatio.  Yes, I know that's a guy's name, Cordelia.  He's the only one who ever tried to understand me.  No, you were more about raping my mouth for your benefit and pleasure, woman.  Horatio *understands* me.  He also made me quit hunting alone."  He smirked at Eric's odd look.  "He said I can't go alone, he'll sit in the background and watch me hunt if something like that comes up."

"So I take it you never told him about the demon out of the sea?"

"Nope. I wasn't alone, that fits his criteria."

Eric smirked. "That means I've got blackmail."

"And I still know who you were sleeping with last month," Xander reminded him.  Eric paled.  "We even?"  That got a nod and Eric got back to work. He listened to Cordelia complain.  "No, someone took the stuff Harmony sent to the station so we had to find it to see who sent it.  Since she sent a note....we're pretty sure it was her.  Now, is she still in Miami?  I know you've kept in touch, Cordy," he sighed, holding his head, banging it against the wall.  "Cordelia.  Put Angel on."  He closed his eyes.  "Deadboy, Harris.  Can you smack the shit out of my ex?  Her bestest friend is turned and is sending me rubies and shit."  He listened.  "Really?"  He groaned and squatted down, back against the wall.  Eric gave him another look but he waved him off with his free hand. "You couldn't warn me, Deadboy?"  He moaned.  "I live in a very nice house with my husband.  He knows about you guys. Tim told him.  Aiden told him.  Willow told everyone when she came down here and married one of his people."  He listened to the weak argument.  "Phones don't work for vampires?  Or email?"  He nodded.  That's what he thought.  He hadn't wanted to tell him.

"Thank you.  I want the full information file, Deadboy, or else I'm going to have to come back to LA to get it in person," he growled.  He grimaced. "No, my husband would stake you on sight.  Oooh, gee, I wonder why.  Couldn't have anything to do with the scar on my arm maybe?" he asked sarcastically.  "Thanks, Deadboy.  Yeah, that's Willow's email.  You can have her type it at her and she'll send it to me.  If not, I'll have her husband send it to me.  I sent her a postcard with my email address on it.  Did she not get it?" he asked impatiently.  "Yeah, that's still me, Deadboy.  Thanks."  He hung up and held his head, calling Willow.  She was hushed.  "Incoming email from Cordy about Harmony, Dru, and the other cheerleader bitches who're my new fanclub.  Forward when you get it please.  Watch out for an incoming Cordy bitch."  He hung up and looked at Eric.  "We moving it?"

"Nope.  Too much stuff here. We'll need more help."

Xander hit the button for home, getting his father.  "Found it, dad.  Last suicide cell off that side hallway.  We're here, there's tons of shit, literally possibly.  I know you can't lift that much, but you can bring boxes and handtrucks."  Eric shook his head.  "Dad, the vampire bitches called Harmony, Dru, and the other cheerleaders sent it."  He smirked at the outraged yelling.  "So come help."  He hung up and tossed it back.  "There, we'll get help.  He might even get Aiden onto them."  He smiled sweetly. "He *hated* Cordelia.  Loathed her like she was some slime fucking demon who fed on unborn babies."

"Why?"

"Remember meeting Buffy that one time she was down here?"  He nodded slowly. "Multiply that by rich girl with a 'tude and being my ex, and remember, I only dated evil women who wanted to hurt me."

Eric shuddered.  "Warn me when she comes down so I can evacuate my family and take the kids to my mother."

"She might've gotten better working with Angel, but I kinda doubt it in many ways," he sighed.

"I don't care if she's a saint now, warn me," Eric ordered.  Someone was walking their way, they could hear it. "Back here!"  Frank and Phil walked in, looking at the room, then Frank moaned.

"Hey, Phil, it's my ex's best girlfriend, the vampire who wants me to be her kitten, and their minions.  How do you want to report that?" Xander asked him.

Phil looked at him, then shook his head and walked off.  "Catalog that.  Send it back if you can."

"They're going to be piles of dust by then," Xander offered.  He looked at Frank.  "My ex, the fashionable cheerleader sort, is probably going to be storming down here to get me back to her version of reality.  Do watch out."

He gave him an odd look. "Worse than the blonde girl that time?"

"Same issue, different reason. This one met me my first day of school.  We used to be friends, then she got popular because daddy had money, then she turned into a cheerleader, then we kissed a lot in the closets.  We had a kissing relationship but not much farther.  I liked her, but not enough to not be wary now."

"Okay.  That day, we'll try to hide you somewhere. If she starts on the 'worthless human' stuff the blonde did, we'll sic Yelina on her."  He shrugged and came in to look around.  "Any idea who was stashing it?"

"Someone who went to Sunnydale until I was a junior," Xander offered, standing up.  "They missed graduation.  Two of the pictures are people who were dead shortly into my senior year."  Frank gave him an odd look.  "Search for others who came from Sunnydale, Frank."

"Okay."  He looked around again.  "The people have good taste in men's jewelry."

"Doesn't not make them annoying vampires, Frank.  One of us which is seriously insane.  Like the stars and she have mental tea parties that tell her things about the future."  Frank shuddered.  "Exactly."  He looked around at the stuff.  "Is that car keys?"

Eric nodded. "They are.  Not to yours.  It's to a Ford, probably a Taurus."

"Could they be his, or hers?"

"Could be," Eric admitted, bagging them.  He opened his kit and got to work bagging things for examination.  They all flinched when someone slammed the door up the hall.  "In here," he called.

Speed walked in and dropped unassembled boxes, looking around, then at his son.  Xander got the note and held it up, making him glare at him.  "Not my fault, dad."

"Why would Harmony come for you?  She hated you.  Used to pick on you about being white trash."

"Because Dru's behind her," Xander said simply.  He pointed at something.  "Lots and lots of kitten stuff."

"Including a very heavy jeweled collar," Eric offered, holding it up. "It'd be too tight on you."

"Not like Dru would care," Speed grumbled, coming over to look.  He pulled out some gloves and put them on, coming over to help.  "Frank, Xander, do the boxes.  Now."

"Yes, sir," Frank said smartly, smirking at him. "So, this girl...."

"Harmony, Dru, or the rest of them?" Speed said grimly, looking over at him.  "How many turned?"

"Not a clue yet," Xander admitted.  "Cordy's sending Willow information on threat of me coming out there to stake her boss."

"Sure," he agreed dryly, getting back to work.  "She coming down?"

"She threatened to, and to bring Angel. I did warn him that Horatio would be staking him on sight."

"Good," he said, smirking just a bit.  "The vampire with the 'tude and denial could use a good stake up the ass."

"Ewww!" Calleigh yelled.  Then a stomping noise.  "Got you!"

"Oh, yeah, we were out for a ride on the bike," Speed noted dryly.  "In here, Calleigh!"

She stomped in.  "This is nasty."

"Tell me about it, but it's not the sewers," a voice said from behind her.  Danny peeked in.  "Don got a call about your fanclub and I got to come this time."  He grinned.  "What's going on?"

Xander pulled out his wallet, waving him closer.  "This is Cordelia Chase.  You see her, you run.  Fast.  Very fast."  Danny nodded and Frank looked, making note of the face as well.  "She's my ex from my senior year."

"She was also a self-esteem and soul sucking bitch," Speed told them.  "Makes Buffy look like a tea party hostess."

"Do we get to hurt her?" Calleigh asked.

Speed looked at her.  "I tried, it slid off her.  She's more snarky than I am. Not even Don could win an argument with her."  She shuddered at that.  "Yeah, so run.  It'll be kinder."

"We'll hide Xander somewhere," Frank assured him.  "So, Danny, look at what his fanclub gave him this time, and then someone hid."

"Cool.  Guy's jewelry, so at least they're nicer."

"Yeah, but it's Dru, Harmony, and a few of Cordy's former cheerleading squad.  The insane one and the brainless joined together."

"Works for them probably," Danny decided, coming in to help.  "This is a lot of stuff."

"They were rich girls and Dru's been saving for nearly two hundred years now," Xander offered. "She probably took some of Spike's cash too.  If not Angel's."  Speed gave him a funny look.  "He was her daddy, I'm sure she took an allowance."

"Probably true."  He got back to work, letting Danny get in there beside him while Calleigh started taking notes on what they were pulling out.  "Some of it's nice, kiddo."

"Gee, dad, if I keep it, they'll like that," he whined. "I'm thinking about upping the foundation with it.  You got an issue with that idea?"

"Not unless Horatio does."  He held up a ruby choker, making Xander moan.  "That is pretty."

"It is, but it's still not me!"

"Go calm down," Calleigh ordered.  "We've got it, Xander.  Get the IAB guy down here."

"He came with me but left at the first mention of vampires," Frank offered, grinning at her.

"He knew.  He knew they were down at Tentacles and what that meant," Xander assured him.  "It was mostly a question of what to do with them.  To dust or not to dust."  He frowned at something.  "I've seen that one.  Cheline had it on a picture on her wall."

"Which means it could be stolen," Danny offered.  That got marked on the bag and they went back to photographing, bagging, and noting things while Xander and Frank got the boxes.

***

Xander walked in the door, closing it and locking it. "You wouldn't believe it if I told you, Horatio."

"Why?" he moaned.

"Dru, Harmony, and a few of Cordy's former friends are doing it."  He came over, noticing he was laying on his stomach. "You okay?"

"No," he admitted, shifting some.  "My back's sore and I'm too tired for a shower."

Xander nodded, heading into the kitchen to get his special jerky marinade.  He came out after warming some up, putting it and a towel on the couch.  "Strip."  Horatio gave him an amused look.  "It'll help your back and I doubt you want to explain the brown stains to the dry cleaner."  He nodded, wiggling as little as possible until he was naked, but also letting Xander put a towel under his stomach.  "There."  He poured out a small amount of the marinade and got to work.  Horatio moaned, then sniffed, chuckling softly.  "It works wonders.  Trust me," he offered quietly. "We alone?"

"Very alone."

"Good."  He worked his way up and down the back, releasing all the tension, then he moved down to the tense legs, working on them.  "Have to chase someone?"  Horatio nodded.  "I'm sorry they were so mean to you."

"It's not your fault."  He turned his head to watch Xander work.  "You do that very well."

"Thank you."  He grinned and moved up, getting back into the backrub. He poured some more of the sauce out, earning another moan as he dug deeper into the muscles. The first layer had soaked in and was warming under his hands, releasing any remaining knots.  "You'll stink later but it'll be fine," he soothed as he worked. Horatio went limp, making him smile.  He sat back, surveying his work.  Horatio's back and legs were a holy mess but he was limp and sated looking.  Well, except for one part of him.  He teasingly ran a finger up it, making Horatio's butt cheeks tense up.  "Need that tension relieved too, baby?"

"Please," he moaned. He shifted his thighs outward, letting him have as much access as he wanted.  Xander came down to lick his back clean, earning another, deeper moan. "You shouldn't have that."

"I won't have a blood test for six months, Horatio."

"Good point."  He let his mate do whatever he wanted to soothe him.  He was very good at working his body even as he worshiped it.  Xander finished his back, then moved down to lick his legs clean, making him shift some.  That tickled.  Xander grinned and went up the other side. He knew it was going to be a good night.  Xander moved up, burying his face between his thighs to get to his cock and balls.  It was a pretty sight.  He shifted his legs further out, letting one hang off the couch to give him enough room.  Xander licked up his perineum, making him tense up again.  It felt so good and he knew what Xander was going to do.  He felt the finger with the sauce come up and tease him.  "Lube too?"

"It'll be sticky later. You'll need a bath," Xander told him quietly, slicking his insides.  The smell was attracting him and he had wondered something.  When Horatio had him tied down, he had feasted on his ass.  He had no idea why.  It shouldn't taste good, but the marinade could cover anything....  He leaned down to take a careful sniff. He couldn't smell anything but the marinade.  So he took a careful lick, making Horatio rock up to his knees with a begging noise that made him hard.  He let himself learn this new thing, licking him clean, taking all the sauce with his tongue.  Horatio was clutching the couch, but it was good.  Even when he got to his natural taste, it wasn't so bad.  He added more and went back to it when the natural taste got stronger than the marinade.

"Xander," Horatio moaned. "Please, baby!"

"Let me," he ordered, going back in to clean up a drip that had slid out.  He got him fully cleaned out, then looked at his mate.  "This way?"  He licked his fingers clean then wet, sliding two into him.  Horatio growled, tensing around him.  "Do you want this, Horatio?"

"Xander," he warned.  "Now!"

"As you wish," he promised, sliding some sauce out to cover himself with.  He slid in smoothly, making Horatio tense up.  He slowed down, moving gently, just sliding in and out for now.

Horatio was waiting. He wanted it harder, needed to be claimed.  "Xander, more," he pleaded.

"I want to be gentle with you."

"Fuck gentle, I want it harder."  Xander sped up but it wasn't going to be enough.  He pulled off and flipped around, pulling Xander into his lap, taking the sauce for his own pleasure now.  He laid his mate down on the towel, cleaning his cock off.  "Sometimes I don't need it gentle," he assured him, diving in to lick his ass, feasting on it like Xander had done for him.  He knew why he had to use the sauce but that didn't bother him.  Even if it did warm his insides enough that he was tingling back there.  Xander was writhing and wiggling, clutching the couch and speaking in Latin and Spanish.  "Mine," he growled.

"Yours!" he shouted, and Horatio dove in.  "Horatio!"

"This is what I need," he ordered.  "I need it harder, rougher, at times.  Think you can do this?"  Xander shook his head.  "No?"

"I want to worship you, Horatio."  He wiggled off his mate, patting his lap.  "I'll let you do whatever you want to me."

"That's a dangerous offer," he said, smirking at him even as he climbed on top.

"I'm a dangerous guy."  He held onto the hips coming down, steadying him.  Horatio got to work, slamming himself down over and over again.  Xander flipped them over, making them crash onto the floor but neither of them cared at the moment.  He got to work pounding his mate, making him beg and creel for more.  "Is this what you wanted?" he panted, working harder and faster.  Horatio nodded, holding onto his arms.  "That means you're going to do the same to me, right?"  Horatio nodded more firmly. "You'd better."  He came and winced, then pulled out, turning around.  "Your turn."

Horatio snarled, he had been so close.  He slid into the loose hole, slamming into his mate's body over and over, claiming him, marking him.  He was leaving bruises on Xander's hips but he didn't care.  He didn't care that he was battering into his mate's body so hard he was bruising the delicate flesh between his cheeks.  All he cared about was that it was hard, fast, good, and satisfying for both of them.  His mate was making little whimpering/crying noises and it pleased him so he came, leaning down across his back.  He heard another one and reached around, teasing his mate's body.  "Sometimes, harder is necessary," he whispered, making Xander go off.  "Good boy."  He rolled off to the side, letting Xander curl up against his chest.  "Did I hurt you?"

"Sore," Xander croaked. "Good sore."  He slowly and carefully turned over, resting his head against Horatio's chest.  "Possessive much?"

"Very."  He stroked down the soft skin. "I didn't expect you to feast on me, it drove me over the edge."

"I don't think I could do it without the additives," he admitted, looking up at his mate. "I feel like I'm failing you, Horatio."

"You're not, Xander.  We each have our kinks.  That's one of mine, not yours.  Yours is going bottom slut and teasing me."  He stroked over him again, watching where the winces came.  "I'm sorry."

"I'm not.  Even if I can't walk for a week."  He stole a kiss and snuggled in.  "We need a bath or else you'll stink for longer."

"I dare anyone to say that I smell," he teased, making Xander grin and blush.  "That was so hot," he whispered, tipping his face up to kiss him.  "Thank you.  Next time I need it harder and faster, I'll know to rile you up first."  Xander blushed and ducked his head down, kissing him over his heart.  "Enough worship. That's our next day off.  Tonight, we need to rest."  He yawned.

"You still need a bath, Horatio.  Just in case."  That got a sleepy nod.  "Come on, I'll bathe with you."  He got up slowly, having to brace on the coffeetable, then pulled his mate up and into the bathroom, running the bath for both of them.  Horatio climbed in and hissed, pulling his butt out of the water.  "Is it burning?"

"No, post sex soreness."  He slid down then Xander climbed into his lap, cuddling against him.  "This is nice."

"It is."  Xander flipped onto his side, curling up on his chest, making Horatio smile.  "This is my second kink, cuddling."

"Cuddling should be innate, not a kink," Horatio offered.  He kissed him on the forehead, relaxing his body to let the marinade flow off and out of him.  He felt the yawn. "Who sent it?"

"Dru, Harmony, some other cheerleaders Cordy worked with."

"Anyone coming down?"

"Cordy possibly."  Someone pounded on the door, earning a moan.  "Do we have to answer that?"

"No."  The door was slammed.  "See."  He grinned at his husband, getting a small one. "We're in the bath, go away!" he yelled.

"No can do," Ryan called.  "I got the information file that Willow wanted to delete."  He came to the doorway and held out the folder, letting Horatio take it but studiously not looking at him.  "She's still growling and swearing about Cordy.  One of the people with us asked what was wrong, so she told him it was an ex of her best friend who was threatening to come down and ruin his marriage.  They support her in her growling."  He grinned at them.  "You two okay?"

"Just fine, Ryan.  Thank you for this," Horatio said calmly.  "Anything else?"

"Yeah, is that stuff safe on pregnant women?"  Xander shook his head.  "Pity."

"Second drawer of my bedside table," Xander said hoarsely.  "Mine's the messy one.  Blue bottle."  Ryan beamed and got that bottle, heading out.  Xander looked up at him. "I can't use the stimulant lube I bought for our anniversary."  He looked at the file, frowning at a few things. "Why are they doing this to me?"

"Maybe they think you're a perfect sacrifice to bring someone back," he offered, putting it carefully aside.  Then he got to work soothing his mate back into a sleepy, content state.  Even if he was slipping two fingers into his ass to play and tease him.  Xander tensed and moaned. "Let me, Xander.  Now's the time for gentleness."

"Next time you want it that hard, take me first and leave me hanging.  That should work."  Horatio chuckled and continued to stroke in and out, making Xander tense, shiver, and eventually come.  "Thank you."  He yawned and shifted, getting comfortable.  Horatio soothed him with gentle strokes up and down his back and arm, letting him drift off there.  "Nighty-night."

"Good night, love," Horatio said softly, kissing him on the head.  He reached over, flipping on the heater switch.  That way neither of them would be woken up by cold water in a few hours.  He fell asleep there, letting the marinade soak out of his body, hopefully, and relaxing again.  His boy was something else and very cuddly.

***

Xander very gingerly walked into the station the next morning with Horatio right behind him. He nodded at the guards.  "Morning," he croaked.

"Feeling sick, Xander?" Craig asked.

"Nope."  He grinned.  "Dusty last night in the basement."  He signed in then headed for the elevator his mate was holding for him.  "Thank you."  He leaned against his side all the way up, then forced himself to stand up and walk off, still nearly walking on the balls of his feet and wincing at most every step.

Eric and Speed watched him walk past.  Then Speed glared at Horatio, pointing.  "It was consensual and got out of hand," Horatio said quietly.  "He's just sore."

"Just sore!" Speed demanded.  "Didn't I tell you not to hurt him!"

"Dad, down!" Xander yelled, turning to glare at him. "It got a bit heated and we were using the marinade. If you must know, I might have a first degree friction burn.  Anything else?"  That got a pale, head shake from Speed and a snicker from Eric. "Anyone else wanna remark on what I do in my marriage?"  No one said anything.  "Good!"  He continued off, heading up to the couch.  He saw Yelina's surprised look.  "Got overly heated on the couch," he admitted.  "I'm buying a new one tonight."

"That's fine, Xander. Are you all right?"

He looked at her, moaning a bit.  "Friction burns, deep throating this morning in my sleep, and in the tub all night.  I feel like Horatio fisted me with how we went at it.  Never, ever use my jerky marinade as a lube and then try to clean up the extra."  She blushed so he grinned and went to flop down on the couch.  Horatio had ordered him to come in so he could watch over him.

Horatio walked past his sister-in-law.  "It was good," he admitted quietly.  "How was your night?"

"Not nearly as interesting as yours.  Did you do anything really kinky I shouldn't tell Alexx about?"

"No.  Just the marinade."

She moved closer.  "He said it felt like you had fisted him."

"I got overly energetic," he said with a faint blush and a grin.  "It was normal, hard sex."  She blushed and walked off shaking her head.  "But that is an idea," he muttered, walking in to look at his mate.  His jacket went over the napping body, and he sat behind the desk to check on the information he had been emailed by Willow.  Willow knew he'd want more details so he had a long email, nearly 4MB, in his inbox.  He right clicked and selected 'open in new window' then got back to the more official email.  Including the one from IAB requesting a meeting about the list of things they had found.

He called him.  "Phil, Horatio Caine.  Is something wrong with the list?"  He groaned. "How much of it was missing?"  He nodded, sighing a bit. "I have no idea.  Do you know who it was?"  He wrote down that information.  "I suggest we ask them once we find them.  No, I've got information on who sent it. Of course, I'll get that from Cheline.  She's the auctioneer who helped Xander with the first batch and then the Foundation's auction.  Thank you."  He hung up and emailed her, telling her most of what was going on.  Then he called Speed. "Phil said half the things on the list weren't down there," he quietly stated.  "We missed an area.  Have Eric scan the rooms again, with you this time.  There may have been another level or another hiding spot. Thank you."  He hung up and got back to the more mundane crimes in Miami.  Xander shifted and moaned.  "It's all right."  He settled down and got comfortable, clutching his jacket.  Horatio smiled, enjoying the sight.

Alexx walked in, looking at Xander with an 'awww'.  She looked at Horatio.  "He okay?  Calleigh said he was walking funny."

"The sex was good, but got a bit rough," he admitted quietly. "Unintentionally. He drove me insane."

"I've been there, Horatio."  She smirked at him. "That's why I have *two* kids."  He smiled at that.  "He okay?"

"Sore. A few bruises on his hips and arms."  He shrugged.  "The same as I am."

"Uh-huh.  Any tears?"  He shook his head.  "You're sure?"

"Quite, but he thinks he may have a slight case of friction burn."

"Baby, you know that's why they make lube, right?" she prompted.  He blushed and nodded.  "You didn't use any?"

"He pulled out his jerky marinade to give me a backrub.  It's a wonderful muscle relaxant."  He shrugged.  "It went from there, Alexx."

"Uh-huh."  She nodded, handing him the bottle in her hand.  "One later when he wakes up, make him eat something soft."  She walked off, going to tell Speed he would be fine.  She found him in the Trace lab, scowling at the list of stuff that had been found.  "He's fine.  A few finger bruises and some overly excited sex."  She patted him on the cheek when he scowled at her.  "He's fine.  Horatio said it got out of hand with his jerky marinade."

"That stuff is evil," he complained.

"Horatio said it's a good muscle relaxant."

"It is, but it's still evil."  He looked toward Horatio's office, then back at her.  "Been there, done that. It does drive you to do stupid shit in bed," he admitted. She gave him a knowing look.  "Way back in Sunnydale.  One of those times when too many had crossed over and it was time to feel human again.  Aiden suggested it," he admitted quietly, glancing around for Calleigh or Eric. She'd tease him and he'd be shocked.  "Neither of us walked right for days."

"As I told Horatio, that's why I had baby number two, sugar.  It'll be okay.  He'll be fine. You said yourself he defended their sex last night."  He nodded.  "Then he's fine and enjoyed it.  He won't sit for the next week but he apparently enjoyed it."  She patted him on the cheek and smiled, leaving him there.

He went back to scowling at the list.  The IAB guy had been right.  It didn't compare with the sign-in list of what had been delivered.

Eric walked in, giving him a hesitant look.  "Should I hide?"

"I'm fine.  Any idea where the rest of this is?"

"Not really.  We checked everywhere but the airshaft in the storage room on the roof."

"Airshaft inside a locked room?"  He looked at Eric.  "Huh?"

"Yeah, that one storage room we found drugs in last night has an airshaft in it."

"Can't be.  They wouldn't put one of those inside a room.  It's supposed to be open so air can get out."

"Get us some climbing gear and we'll go look," he offered.  Speed nodded, picking up the lists and heading to get them some gear.  Eric looked around then shook his head. "I'm never having kids.  They make you insane.  Ryan's humming about baby diapers and Speed's worried because his son likes it rough now and then."

***

Eric found the secondary outlet door for the airshaft and called up.  "Found a maintenance door."  He braced himself and opened it, staring into the small tunnel.  "I'm unclipping and heading in.  I'll let you know where I end up."  He slid into the small tunnel, heading down it.  It was barely big enough to crawl through.  He saw a few doors off it and opened them, finding a few things.  He found an exit and opened it, then propped it open with his foot while he called. "Get down to the second floor, small maintenance tunnel between Holding and the Pens."  He looked at the patrol guy coming over to see what was going on.  "We're still missing some of the stuff.  Expect Speedle."  That got a nod.  "Also, did you know we had drug stuff stored in here?"

"No, I hadn't," he admitted. "Need your boss?"

"No, but I could use a scene kit.  I've got my camera but not enough bags or fingerprint sheets."  That got a nod and he went to call their unit to get someone. Calleigh came down with Speed, carrying her kit.  He smiled.  "Drugs and more drugs.  I'm going to continue following it down."  Speed nodded, climbing in after him and heading with him.  "Calleigh, check the cupboards behind me to the tunnel.  Each and every one had stuff stored by what type."

"Thanks.  Really."  She climbed in, looking back at the helpful patrol officer.  "Make sure this doesn't shut, please?"  He nodded, propping it open with his body. She crawled off, going to take evidence.

Eric looked back at Speed, nodding at the cupboards ahead.  "You get the right?"

"Sure."  He checked, and groaned. "Calleigh, we got more down here!" he called.  They moved on, ending up in a maintenance room.  Well, closet, but it had another doorway out of it.  "What is this?  Do people live in our walls?" Speed complained.

"It's probably to fix anything behind the walls," Eric offered, heading back through it, into the walls.  He looked up, then around, then groaned. "Okay, which way?"

"Follow the dusty footprints," he complained, shining his flashlight on them.  Eric nodded, following them back and around, back toward the lab.  They ended up in the small closet underneath Horatio's office, and found the exit and where they were heading, into another closet.  There they found the path to the treasure room.  Speed stared from the doorway, moaning a bit. "Oh, fuck me," he said in awe.  Naked pictures of Xander.  Not him dancing, not anything to do with him stripping, but younger, hunting Xander.  Some with him and a stake.  Some with him and he's in bed, clearly asleep.  He backed out to the doorway.  "Boss! Found it!" he bellowed.

"Alert everyone why don't you," Eric complained.

"We got a hit off fingerprints earlier," Speed reminded him. "I checked, he's not here today."

"Yay.  I doubt he can stay away from his obsession."  He walked forward, finding an altar.  "Um, Speed, I think we need Willow."

He looked then shook his head.  "Pleas."  He unrolled a small piece of bunched up paper, reading it.  "For Xander to go back to his old self instead of his present one."  He looked around again, then back at Horatio when he coughed.  "Welcome to the other burrow of your obsessed one.  By the way, he's got crawl spaces jury-rigged through the walls.  We came out one and into here."

"I noticed."  He came in further, looking around.  The altar got a long look, then Speed handed over the plea.  He moaned and moved closer, finding dolls of him dying and pictures showing the same thing.  "Won't happen."  He called Phil.  "It's Horatio.  We found the other stash."

"Most of this isn't on the list," Eric offered. He looked back, holding up a black lace teddy.  "I doubt this is."

"No, but that would fit Buffy, Cordy, or Willow," Speed noted.  He went to look around, finding another shrine.  "Here.  One to Willow and Buffy."  They came over to look, then shook their heads and walked off.  No one wanted to see a naked Buffy, not even the heterosexual, unattached guy.  She wasn't his sort.  They got to work cataloging everything.

"H, do we think he sold some of the stuff to set this up?" Eric asked.

"Quite possibly, Eric."  He shook his head at another piece of lingerie he uncovered.  "He was still making offerings."

"No, that's packed," Speed noted.  "I think he was moving onto kidnaping soon."  He looked around, then back at him.  "Any clue if the guy we got the fingerprint hit off of was from Sunnydale?"

"He spent his last two years and a few months after graduation there.  He left near the end of Xander's junior year," he admitted quietly. "I checked his application for the Academy."  Both his boys nodded at that. "I sent Ryan to pick him up when you yelled."

"Hopefully he won't kill him for trying to make Willow go back to hunting," Eric offered grimly.  He and Speed shared a look.  Ryan could probably be very scary if someone touched what was his.  The OCD would only make it worse in its own way.

Frank walked in with Yelina, grimacing already.  "This is sad."

"It is," Yelina agreed.  "Especially that my brother-in-law dates better looking men than me."  Frank smirked at her so she smiled back.  "He does. I could never get a man like Xander."

Horatio looked back at her. "As long as you don't try to steal mine."

"No, he only dated evil women," she reminded him.  "I'd hate to turn so bad."  She came in to look at things.  "Interesting.  Why is there a shrine to Willow and what's-her-name?"

"He wanted them back as a hunting trio," Speed said grimly.  "He was going to take Willow we think."

"Interesting.  I'm sure she'll kill him if he tries.  Ryan would be able to vacuum him up."

Speed looked at her. "She'd summon something to eat him.  We might find a few hairs or something it burped up, but nothing else."  He got back to work, finding the cache of jewels.  "Here we go.  He was prying them apart, Horatio."

"Wonderful. Match whatever you can, boys."  He stomped off, going to find the IAB person.  The man was in maintenance, apparently he didn't rate IAB getting involved.  Phil was in his office, staring at Xander.  "He's mine."

"I know he is.  I was wondering why he was on your couch taking a nap at work."  He looked at him.  "That's a bit against protocol."

"I didn't want to leave him alone at home with this in the air.  We also think the man was going after Ryan Wolfe's wife."

"Let's hope he doesn't do anything rash then, Horatio."  He walked out, going to find what the others were doing.  He found Calleigh bagging up drugs and grimaced.  "Inmates?"

"Probably not," she admitted. "They wouldn't be able to sneak in here."

"I'm having someone scour the insides of this building," he complained, calling someone to do that while he helped her log in evidence.  Since it wasn't inmates it was either a cop or a janitor.

***

Ryan looked at the man sitting in the interrogation room, then he smirked and clasped his hands on the table, learning forward slightly.  "So, you want my wife to do what?"

"She had a great destiny," he said firmly, staring him down. "She must go back to it so we don't die!"

"Well, she's still hunting.  I'm not naive enough to realize she and Xander don't go out around here.   That doesn't break their promises of not going out alone so Horatio and I have ignored it most of the time."  He gaped.  Ryan continued to stare him down.  "They didn't have the destiny, that's Buffy.  She's still working from what I heard."  He shivered.  "I know, I didn't like her when I met her either."  He leaned forward slightly more.  "See, she told me, everything."  The man blanched.  "She recognized your photo too.  Xander's still asleep on Horatio's couch or else I'd have asked him."  He sat up straight again, grinning at him, but his eyes were ice cold. "You were going to do what to my wife and children?"

"The child would stay," he offered, backing away as the coldness became stronger.  "The new one would have been sent back. I would have treated her like the most delicate gold until after she delivered."

"Ah, but you see, someone said her powers are gone when she does."  He whimpered, shaking his head.  Ryan nodded.  "Tim said so.  He heard it from on high."  The man gasped and started to cry, shaking his head. "Yeah, and Xander's not supposed to fight.  That's why they sent him away.  They had Tim send him away really."  He leaned forward again.  "See, they knew that having him there would mean things got worse instead of better. He'd have died by the age of twenty-three."

"But it would've saved the world!"

"Not really.  The things that would've come would've been worse."  The man stared at him.  "Tim got told that, that's why he had to send Xander away from Sunnydale."  The man sniffled and shook his head.  "What's your source?"

"They were the power and strength behind her," he said weakly.  "She needs them to survive and keep going.  That's all I want for her, is to survive and become a true woman."

"Then get her to move and pass on the gifts, man.  Until then, she's stuck there with Rupert."  He stood up.  Speed walked in.  "All yours."

"Thanks, really.  Feel better?"

"Not yet.  There's a heavy bag with my name on it."  He looked at the man, making him flinch away.  "Remember, no one touches what's mine or what's Horatio's.  It takes a strong man to be married to anyone from Sunnydale."  He walked out.

Tim sat across from him, staring at him. "I remember you, vaguely.  You have a crush on Buffy, right?"  He nodded, swallowing and wiping his cheeks off.  "So you've been praying to the darker, chaos oriented gods to put Xander and Willow back there, against the will of the Powers.  Interesting technique that could've gotten her killed."  He swallowed and shook his head.  Tim nodded. "They don't like her and would take any excuse.  Remember, an unfocused plea to put them back there, would mean they'd be going back for her funeral, Tom.  Where's the rest of the stuff you stole?"

"Xander didn't need that.  He's said so often enough.  Plus, he only dates evil people!  The funds of evil should go to fund the good fight if we can confiscate it. "

"Yeah, but that changed with Horatio.  Remember him, Xander's bonded mate?  Or don't you remember the time with the pig and that pack?"  The guy swallowed and nodded, looking down. "Horatio understands and takes care of him, even knowing that stuff."  That got a slightly scared look.  "So no, Tom, you're fucked.  Theft, attempted kidnaping at the grocery store last week.  Willow told us," he said with a small smirk.  "Not her husband, but she called me."  The guy burst out crying again.  "Remember that, Tom.  It's only going to get worse from here if you don't cooperate."

He nodded, looking at him. "I only wanted to save her, she's in need of them, Tim."

"She knows where to go for help. They didn't abandon her, even though it's only her duty, not theirs.  Remember that, huh?"  He opened the folder. "Where did you pawn the jewelry?"

"It's coming back.  Druscilla caught me and told me it was coming back, that she'd fund my desires if I let her help me."

"Why?"

"She wants Xander.  He can awaken something to make her sire stronger."

Speed moaned, shaking his head.  "She's insane, you know that, right?"

"No!"  He sat up straight, leaning forward.  "She's a *seer*, Tim.  We know this.  We know she sees true.  She can protect us all!  She'll make sure Xander awakens this thing so her father is stronger and he'll become the protector of humanity instead of her."

"He can't."  He rubbed his forehead and leaned back. "The only thing that can save Buffy is her powers being passed on so she can retire, or death," he said quietly. "That's it.  Nothing else, Tom.  She is who and what she is.  Nothing can change that without either taking them from her or killing her."  The kid swallowed and shook his head. "Yeah, that's the way it works.  The next girl will be called, one way or another."

"She's already powerless.  She was losing it before then."

"She wasn't, that was momentary.  It was a test by the Watchers.  Anything else?"  He shook his head, starting to cry again.  "Pray to the Powers that they move her on, man.  That's all the hope you've got."  He stood up and flipped closed the folder. "Where?"

"Atchinson's," he whimpered.

"Thank you.  Hopefully we can stop the homicide in the making."  He walked out. "Wolfe!" he called.  Ryan looked at him.  "With me."  That got a nod and Ryan followed him.  "She told you?"

"Everything.  Down to her underwear of the day."  Speed gave him a sideways look, then they got into the elevator.  "She said she couldn't hide it from me forever.  That I had the right to know."

"You do.  Doesn't mean it doesn't suck that it came back to bite them."

"You tell him the truth?"

"That Buffy would either die or pass on her powers through prayer?  Yup.  He's still probably crying and praying to the Powers That Be."  They walked off the elevator and out to the hummer.  "Atchinson's Pawn.  Druscilla said she's getting it back for them."

"Crap."  He got in to drive, he had the keys since he had checked it out earlier in the day.

***

Horatio looked up as someone leaned in his office doorway, giving them a tired look.  "What's wrong, Eric?"

"Buffy's here.  She collapsed in the doorway.  She's en-route to St. Mercy's."  Horatio sighed.  "I called Willow, she's not sure why she's down here.  She wanted you to tell Xander."

"I will.  Anything else?"

"Yeah, Speed and Wolfe walked into a holy mess at the pawn shop the guy used.  Said something about Druscilla getting the stuff and sending it back, that she'd fund him because he could raise something that would make her father stronger."

"I'll be damned if I'm doing anything to make Angel a stronger vampire," Xander complained from his spot on the couch.  He sat up, giving Eric a tired look.  "What's the other news?"

"Buffy collapsed while she was signing in."

"Where?"

"St. Mercy's."

"Going," he sighed, standing up, hissing slightly.  "Slowly, but going."

Horatio checked the clock, then him.  "I can take lunch now, Xander. It's nearly two.  We'll go together."  Xander grinned and nodded, letting him help him out to the hummer and inside it since he was still walking so carefully.  Horatio walked around to get in and drive, nodding at a few of the officers.  "He's fine."

"Too much exercise?" one asked.

Horatio stared him down.  "No comment."  He closed the door, sticking the keys in so he could start the engine, then backed out.  Xander patted him on the thigh.  "I don't think they need to know what we did."

"Nope.  I like that staying private.  All I've said was the jerky marinade to Yelina."

"I heard, she teased me earlier when they found the second site."  He glanced at his mate.  "It was someone you went to school with.  He wanted you and Willow to start hunting with Buffy again."

"Fat.  Chance."

"Thank you."  He patted the hand on his thigh, then shifted lanes because the person in front of him had stopped suddenly.  Apparently for no reason when they drove past her.

***

Xander looked down at Buffy's tired looking face.  "Been a long few weeks?" he asked quietly, smoothing her hair out.  Buffy groaned and moved so he poked her on the forehead. "You need an on button."

"Do not," she complained, looking up at him.  "Xander?"

"Usually.  Occasionally that annoying bastard that makes Horatio late for work, but mostly Xander."  He grinned.  "What's going on that you ran down here?"

"They took my powers."

"Huh.  And here we've had a minion of evil who wanted Willow and I to come back and hunt with you again.  Dru's trying to get me to be a sacrifice to make Angel stronger, and Harmoney, Dru, and the other cheerleaders have been sending me crap."

"Eww."

"Tasteful, expensive crap."

"Still eww."  She sat up, looking around.  "Why am I in the hospital?"

"You collapsed."  She looked at him.  "Total header into the pretty marble tiles," he assured her, grinning slightly.  "Eric told us."

"Who's Eric?"

"Part of the family, kind of."  He helped her lay back down.  "Where's Giles?"

"Not a clue. He got forced back to England by the Watchers last month.  He was out at the store and came home to them packing him up.  They darted us both and took him.  I woke up in the empty apartment with a note saying my tenure was soon to be over. I thought they were going to kill me."

"Nope.  Your mom?"

"She's okay, I guess.  What day is it?"

"Wednesday if I'm not mistaken.  Occasionally I do lose track of the days."  He looked at his watch.  "Nope, it says Thursday so maybe I'm wrong."  He shrugged. "We'll ask Horatio when he comes in.  He had to go order someone around."

"Horatio?"

"My husband?"

"I thought you were dating a Danny person."

"I wasn't, that was to throw you off.  Horatio and I have bonded and married.  He's my man.  He's a very good man.   A very strong man."

"The manly reason why you can't stand straight?" she asked.  He nodded. "Then sit."

"Hurts more," he admitted. "Sitting bad."  Horatio came back in.  "Hey, babe."

"Xander.  Buffy."  He kissed Xander.  "What's going on, Buffy?"

"They stole Rupert and took my powers," she said weakly.  She blinked at him.  "I couldn't go to Angel.  I came down to find Willow, see if she could figure this out, see if I was getting them back."  She sniffled. "I didn't mean to annoy you two or to break into your marriage."

"No, it's all right," Xander assured her.  "We're used to things happening that require one of us being gone for a few hours.  Not like I can stay with him at work all the time."

"If we don't find those women who want to sacrifice you, you will be," Horatio assured him patiently.  "Buffy, you should try to rest. They said you had extreme exhaustion."  She nodded, sliding back down.  "Good girl."

Xander grinned. "When you get up, you can meet the baby Xander, who is also an Eric, but not the one from earlier.  Just watch out for his snuggling of the breasts.  He likes them a lot."

She blinked at him. "You...have a son?"  He nodded.  "You never told me."

"I told your mother.  Didn't she tell you?"  She shook her head, starting to cry.  "Shh, it's all right, Buffy.  We'll work it out," he promised, giving her a hug.  "Willow will be here when you wake up again. She had a doctor's appointment about the newest baby Wolfe."

"Oz is here?"

"No, she married a guy named Ryan Wolfe."

"I heard the Ryan part," she admitted. "Is he furry?"

"Nope," Xander said, grinning at her. "But he is a very nice guy.  I love the guy like a brother and I'm already warping baby Toddy into a boy like me, then I'll get to spoil their daughter horribly."  She gave him a weak smile.  "Rest, Buffy, we'll talk when they let you out of here."  She nodded.  "Is Faith back?"  She nodded again.  "She okay?"  She shrugged.  "She the only one?"

"Nope.  They called a second one but she's really young.  She's only ten."  She sniffled. "I said it was mean, they didn't listen."

"I was wondering why they didn't notice strap marks," Horatio offered quietly.  She looked at him. "It's what I do for a living, Buffy.  I am an investigator."

"He's one of the best ever," Xander agreed, grinning at his mate.  She nodded, curling up on her side facing them.  "You rest.  We'll be fine.  Everything will be okay and we'll call Joyce to tell her you're here."  She nodded again, closing her eyes, letting Xander pet her to sleep.  He looked at his mate.  "I so wanna fly ta England.  Wanna take a trip, dear?"

"No. That can come later, Xander."  He walked him out, finding Willow down the hall babbling into a payphone. "Joyce?"  She nodded, letting Xander have the phone.  "She's sleeping again."

"That's fine," she agreed happily, kissing him on the cheek. "They think this one's a boy too."

Xander gave her back a look, then glanced at Ryan. Who shook his head.  So if there was a baby boy number two, there might be a baby number three on the way soon.  He listened to Joyce. "She handed it over, Joyce.  No, I'm okay.  A bit sore."  He blushed.  "Yeah, basically."  He giggled. "No, but if you see any of Cordy's cheerleaders, avoid them.  They want to make me a sacrifice to make Angel stronger.  Yeah, them, led by Dru."  He grinned.  "Thanks, Joyce.  No, we'll look after her for a bit.  It'll be okay. I promise."  He nodded, making mental notes.  "Sure.  Love you too.  Laters."  He hung up.  "She wants Buffy to stay and have a real vacation, Willow.  So you're in charge of the slutty bathing suit and the lazing around stuff."  She gave him a dirty look.  "Not like I'd do it the same and if *I* went in a slutty bathing suit, I might get taken again."  He shrugged and took Horatio's arm, letting him help him back out.  "We'll be home later," he called as they walked off.

Willow watched him walk.  "Aiden moved that way once.  It was from his jerky marinade.  Made her hot and bothered."

"That's what he said happened," Ryan admitted. He kissed her on the cheek.  "I'm still thinking it's a girl," he said quietly.  "Your magic is getting a bit weaker."  She glared at him.  "They said it would happen, Willow."  She nodded, sighing and hugging him back. "Now, let's go watch over Buffy since I took the afternoon off, and I owe Eric the next dumpster case."  She grimaced but let him walk her off and plant her butt beside Buffy's bed while she slept.  Ryan pulled out some stuff to read over, just watching over the girls for now.  She did look really tired and a lot older than her actual age at the moment.

***

Xander let Buffy into his house the next afternoon, smiling at her.  "I know you didn't get a chance to meet most of the family the last time you were in, considering you were being a brat, but now you will.  Or else I'll spank you, handcuff you, and hand you to someone who'll take good care of you for me."  She grimaced but let him lead her outside.  She relaxed, smelling the ocean.  "Isn't it great? It's where we have dinner most of the time."  He beamed at the people sitting there, which for now was Di, Danny, little Eric, and Ryan.  "Day off?"

"Yup."  Ryan looked over at him.  "Horatio said to guard you two. So I'm on call at the moment."  He looked at Danny, who just grinned. "You?"

"Mac told me I had ta get out of the city or else I might compromise a case.  He didn't want me anywhere near the lab so he lent me to Horatio for a few days.  Fortunately they talked so I'm officially dealing with the present-giving situation again. Hey, Buffy."

"Hi," she said weakly.  "You really weren't dating the Xander?"

"Nah, I consider him like a little brother.  He's sweet and nice and all, but not my type."  He grinned at her.  "Come sit, you still look exhausted."

"I have been since...."

"They know my past."

"Since the Watchers took my powers."  She sat down across from Ryan.  "So you're the fuzzy puppy Willow married?"

He smirked.  "Not exactly *fuzzy* but I'm the guy she married.  Ryan Wolfe."  He shook her hand.  "I'd let you see the baby us but he's down for a nap in Eric's crib."

"That's okay.  Babies scare me."

"I said the same thing, then I had the baby Xander, and now I'm really scared," Di teased, making Xander chuckle evilly.

Buffy looked at her buddy.  "You're going odd again."

"Horatio and I couldn't have sex last night."

"I noticed the funny standing."  She looked at the baby, waving at him.  "Hi.  Who're you?"

"Eric, say hi to Buffy," his mother instructed.

"Pretty."

Buffy sniffled. "Thank you. I think you're cute too, even if you do look like your daddy on a goofy kid day."  Eric chuckled and crawled across the table so he could settle in her lap, pressing his head against her chest a few times, before sighing in pleasure and getting comfy.  She looked down.  "Now I know you're a Xander.  He would've done that too."  Xander nodded, going back into the house to get drinks.  She took her water with a smile.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  He handed out the rest of the drinks.  "Okay, why are we here already?  I've still got to go grocery shopping for Horatio."

"He handed Willow the list and money," Ryan told him, sipping his tea.  "She's doing it."

"He told me to watch over you since you can't sit or walk," Diana assured him happily. "Also to warn you that Big Eric's family was coming over as well."

"Yeah, it's about time for Marisol to try again," he admitted, sitting down in his padded seat.  He looked down at Ryan.  "How goes the campaigning?"

"Pretty good.  So far no major problems.  The poll the papers are doing has me one spot off the judge's roster at the moment and I'm not going to run negative ads so I'll be pushing harder.  I've given seven interviews, all of them came out okay.  They all liked Willow and Todd.  They all thought Todd was very cute and Willow was very smart, so she probably could've done better than having kids at her age, but oh well.  We're happy with how it turned out.  Nothing negative was written so far."  Speed came out.  "You get the afternoon off to watch Xander as well?"

"No, I got the splitting headache vision."  He looked at Buffy, then at Ryan.  "For some reason, your first act as a judge will be to sign a wiretapping warrant for a kidnaping case for Eric.  Immediately after being sworn in.  Oh, and Buffy, you're not staying unless you want to stay but no one says you have to go back there and no, you can't go hang out with Angel.  They said they're not coming back.  Ever.  No matter how much you want them to or do stupid shit to prompt it.  So let's not die hunting, okay?"  She glared at him.  He glared back.  She wilted and nodded.  "Thank you!"  He sat down, looking at Eric.  "Hey, grandkid.  Comfy?"  He got a grin from the baby.  "Thought so.  Want to cuddle me?"  Eric shook his head, pressing into her chest again.

"He really is a little Xander-ish pervert," Buffy noted dryly.  She handed the baby over, getting pouted at.  "Sorry, but my arms are tired. I was just sick."  He cooed and kissed her on the cheek, then patted it before snuggling into 'grandpa's arms.  "It looks like Xander's well protected here."

"Yeah, whenever we can make him stop doing stupid stuff," Ryan admitted.  "Every now and then he breaks out into stupid stuff that frustrates Horatio enough to make him growl."

"We fully expect Xander to end up in New York with us, in handcuffs," Danny offered, sipping his tea with a wink at Xander.  "Don said you could have his couch."

"While that's a charming offer, I've been a good boy recently," he defended.

"You have been," Ryan agreed.  "For once."  Xander glared at him.  "No hunting recently and nothing too bad happening with your fanclub."

"Not my fault the vampiric cheerleaders association is after me," he said grimly.  "With Dru as head coach."

Buffy patted him on the arm. "It always seems to happen to you," she noted dryly. "I've always wondered why."

"It's genetic.  Every woman in existence comes up to say how cute Eric is," Diana assured her with a smile.  "So, are you thinking about college?"

"I am.  Or at least I guess I should since I can't really do a lot at the moment."  She pushed her hair back.  "Right now, I need to rest and recuperate."

"Willow said she's taking you to a beach tomorrow," Ryan promised.  "She said Di, Eric's mommy, is going to make you something too."

"I am?" Di asked.  "I thought I was making that for Willow."  Ryan gave her a questioning look.  "What?" she defended.  "Your wife knows what a smutty pervert you are too, Wolfe.  She enjoys teasing you.  I thought the see-through dotted bikini was for her."

"She'd never get to wear it out of the house," he assured her dryly, smirking just a bit.  "But please, make my wife look pretty and hot.  It can only make me happier and more content."

Diana smirked at him.  "Sure, baby.  Anything for my favorite baby factory."

"Thanks.  We're having a girl one way or another."

Tim blinked, then looked at him.  "Her powers are going on the blink, have her pray, Ryan.  They'll fix that."  Ryan looked at him.  "Sorry, the Powers are insistent.  It's going to be a girl one way or another."

"Sure.  Works for me."  He nodded.  "I'll mention it to her tonight that she should send up a prayer about her college plans or something."  Speed and Xander both grinned at that.  "I know she's still panicking.  It's how she is.  I accept and love her for it.  The same as she loves my thing with the laundry and the cleaning stuff."

"Then why is your kitchen always a mess?" Diana asked him.

"She said that's her room and only she can clean in there.  It's a test of willpower for me," he said blandly.  "I have to fight every time I'm home to go in there and clean it on her. Some day soon I'll snap, clean it on her, have her in it, then clean it again."  He smiled, taking another drink of his tea.

"Only you could turn OCD into a sex game," Xander said with an air of fondness.  "Horatio has a thing about the laundry being done perfectly but nothing near making it cute and sexy.  Though he did get me to agree to do the laundry and clean the closets during sex once."

"TMI, Xander, TMI," Di complained. "Really.  Why can't you sit?"

"Jerky marinade."

She blinked at him, then at Speed, who nodded.  "How do you use that for sex?"

"It's a great muscle rub," Buffy told her.  "He's used it on me and Willow a few times."

"I see."  She looked at her son, then at her model, then she shook her head.  "Maybe he should hang out with Ray more often."

"Up to you but I will pout," Xander promised.

"Which is a horrible thing on the world," Willow said as she joined them.  "Someone go carry the heavy shit."  The guys got up to do that and she flopped down in her husband's seat with a sigh of relief, finishing his tea for him.  "Ah, better."  Xander got up to get her some more, making her smile. "They spoil me horribly.  They'll do the same to Marisol while she's preggers with Horatio's baby."

"There's going to be a baby Horatio?" Buffy asked.  Willow nodded. "Will he wear a suit too?"

"Probably," Willow agreed dryly, smiling at her. "You look less tired."

"I am less tired.  Thank you for telling mom."

"Not an issue."  The baby came back out and snuggled into her lap.  "Hi, Eric.  Are you being a butt?"  He grinned and nodded.  "I thought so."  She pulled out her cell, calling Horatio.  "Okay, I'm back, the guys are putting the food up."  Pause. "Horatio said not to put anything in the freezer yet since most of Eric's family is coming tonight," she called.  She went back to listening.  "Nope, she, I, and Eric are on the porch, why?"  She listened, then wobbled.  "Must we?"  She sighed then nodded.  "Sure, Horatio.  Thank you."  She hung up. "Baby, Ray wants to take Xander and bigger Eric out tonight and be slutty.  They need an extra chaperone.  You up to us going out to party with them?"

He came to the doorway right after Xander's 'YES!' from the kitchen.  "I don't see why not.  You could use some more admirers and we can keep the vampires off Xander for tonight."  He looked at Buffy.  "You can borrow some of her stuff. It's not a problem."  He grinned and headed back inside.  "Don't you dare put on those spreadable clothes, Xander," he yelled.  "I'm not going to have to hunt someone down for you tonight.  Horatio would kill us if we lost you."

"But, mom!" Xander whined.

Danny came out chuckling, shaking his head. "I love you guys.  That's why I come down so often."  He hugged Willow, then hugged Buffy too. "Pretty soon Miami will warp you too, Buffy."

"I knew Xander for three years and I'm still this way."

Willow chuckled. "I've known him since the first day of school and look at me," she agreed.

"You still got warped when you came down," Ryan called.  "You became more gentle, relaxed, and loving.  I love that about you, dear."

"Thanks, baby."  She shrugged, if he said so.

"Not those together, Xander," Di complained, stomping after him.  "Wear the blue leathers I just made you."

"I can't eat dinner in those.  Eric's mom will throw a fit."

"She knows we're all going out clubbing later," she promised.  "She still calls her son a slut too."  Ryan and Willow both burst out in giggles from that.  "Wear the blue ones the color of Horatio's eyes.  Then the pale cream shirt."

"Yes, dear. If I didn't love you so much, I'd worry about you dressing me now and then."

"Horatio will drool."

"Which is incentive enough," he agreed happily, going to put those on. "I need to start working out again, they're too tight."

Diana walked into the bedroom, staring at him.  "You gained more muscle.  You're more cut."  She walked over to help him settle them in the right spot. "I'll have to measure you again."

"Good, because my jeans don't fit," he pouted, hugging her.  "I love you."

"I love you too, baby.  Unfortunately you're not a girl."

"It'd be easier if I was," he sighed, pulling out the cream shirt.  It had a big stain on it so he tossed it aside and looked, finding a darker blue one.  He slid it on, leaving the top three buttons undone before putting on his boots with a moan of complaint for the tight pants.  He walked out, turning so everyone could see and approve.

"Did you steal that shirt off me?" Speed asked.

"No, this is my copy of the shirt," he assured him, grinning.  "Like it?"

"Now I know why people wanted to see you strip," Buffy said in awe.

Willow nodded. "Yup.  That's our slutty Xander toy."

"Hey!  I'm only Horatio's toy," he complained, tapping a foot and scowling.  "Take that back."

"You're our eye candy toy," she assured him.  "You give us all plenty of reasons to go jump our mates."  She gave Ryan a look.  "Some day, you too can look that hot."

Di chuckled.  "You haven't worn the rust colored outfit, have you, Wolfy?"

"Don't call me that," he whined, looking back at her. "I was saving it for sometime special."

"I'll make you something hotter, wear that tonight."

"Sure."  He stood up.  "Let me grab us some clothes, Willow."  She nodded. "Want the black dress?"  She beamed and nodded.  "Sure thing."  He headed out to the car, going home to pick up some clothes, and to see who was babysitting tonight.  This looked more and more like a night the whole team was going to be going out together.

***

Ray walked in, wearing the black leathers he had worn during the last show, the ones he had trouble getting out of.  "Di, they're too tight.  I've been overdoing it in the gym.  I'm about to burst a seam."

She looked them over, nodding.  "You are gaining muscle, Ray.  We'll work on a new pair next week for you, baby."  She kissed him on the cheek and twitched his shirt.  "I still don't like that one on you."  He opened it to show the wifebeater tanktop underneath.  "Hiding it from your mom?"

"Oh, yeah.  Lots and lots of hiding it from my mom.  Xander, Horatio said he got pulled into a budget meeting.  We can start without him."  Xander pouted. "They'll come steal us later.  Mom and him both."

"I was kinda hoping your mom would babysit," Ryan offered, grinning at him.  "Eric's on his way over after he changes.  His mom's on her way over after a stop to get vegetables.  Fair warning."

"Uh-huh.  We're going clubbing. I can look like a slut," Ray reminded him, grinning. "I'm seventeen, I'm allowed at my age."

"So you think Delko's doing it because he's desperate?" Willow teased.

"Can't say either way really. He's not *horribly* old yet."  He grinned at the muted complaining noise from the doorway. "You're not."

"Gee, thanks, kiddo."  He looked him over.  "I don't like that shirt."  It was taken off and Eric blinked. "Put it back on."  Ray grinned and slid back into it.  "Thank you.  My sisters might hit on you and upset their husbands horribly."  He walked out and kissed Di on the cheek. "I'm supposed to be the grown up tonight.  I can't go in clubbing clothes."

She gave him a look, then snorted and drug him back to Xander's room. They were nearly the same size.  She found some of the stripper stuff she had made her boy, handing it over.  "Change, Eric, and forget the boxers.  They'll ruin the line."  He blushed but went into the bathroom to do that.  She took off her jacket, leaving her in soft pants and a tanktop that made her look cute.  She was never anything but cute really.  She walked out there, running into Eric's mother, kissing her on the cheek.  "Eric's getting changed.  I made him borrow some of Xander's clothes."  She headed off to find the kids, finding them upstairs cooing at each other. "We up?"  They both beamed.  "Okay."  She helped Todd down, holding him, and released the mesh padding on Eric's big boy bed, letting him free too. He ran for the downstairs.

"Doggy!"

"He's at home," Eric's mother called.  "He's not feeling well, Eric."  She smiled at him.  "Can I have a hug?"  He hugged her, beaming at her.  "Good boy.  Your daddy's outside wearing your mother's clothes."  He ran that way, loving it when the daddy and mommy got dressed up.  She rolled her eyes, looking at her son.  Then she scowled and pointed back at the bedroom.  "Go change, Eric."

"She dressed me and I've got to watch out for Xander and Ray tonight when they go clubbing," he promised, kissing her on the cheek.  "They're Xander's not mine."

"I realize that, they don't fit the same as your usual ones."  He just smiled and headed off outside.  She sighed and crossed herself, saying a prayer that her son would meet a *nice* girl who was more than five minutes' work at the club.  Marisol walked in, already smiling.  "Have a good session?"

"Fairly."  She hugged her mother.  "I heard from Horatio that they're all going out tonight."

"Hmm.  Are you trying again tonight or tomorrow night?"

"The doctor said to try tomorrow night. That the medicine would make it iffy tonight."  She walked out there and shrieked. "ERIC, GO CHANGE!  YOU LOOK LIKE A CLUB SLUT!"

"Wow, you're really loud," Buffy offered, looking at her.  Marisol glared at her.  "He's going to guard the Xander and the other young hotty there with Ryan and Willow.  He's got to fit in."

Marisol snorted.  "I doubt that's fitting in.  My brother is a slut.  He has been a slut for years.  He's the reason Momma prays for a good grandson."  Eric smirked at her.  "You are!"

"You wanna come, Marisol?" he asked.  She shook her head.  "Then sit down and behave."

"Fine."  She sat down, glaring at him.  "You still look like a whore."

"Yay.  They're Xander's clothes, that's why they don't fit right."

She gave him a dirty look, then looked at Diana.  "I love your attire on Xander, but on my brother, he looks easy, slutty, and desperate."

"That's one way to meet women," Diana reminded her, grinning. She didn't mind those compliments, that's what she had been going for when she had designed Eric's wardrobe.

"You're worrying Momma sick, Eric."

"Marisol, quit.  I'm a big boy.  If I want to go find nice women in the clubs, I can do that."

"Then why can't I?" she asked.

"You're a girl and a good Catholic girl."  He stared her down.  "It's not right."  She snorted.  "I don't care about the double standard.  You're a good girl and I've never been one of those."

"Good or a girl?" Ryan asked.

"You know, I do know some lesbians who're a lot like him," Willow offered with a grin for Marisol.  "I'll watch his back, make sure he doesn't hang with anyone too sleazy."  She got another snort.  "Hey, maybe he'll knock someone up and then your mom'll get the daughter-in-law she's been wanting."

"There would be a priest on that doorstep within an hour," Marisol agreed dryly.  Eric shook his head.  "You wouldn't do right by her?"

"If she asked.  If not, I'd do what Xander and Di are doing and split custody as often as I could.  Not everyone wants to be married or a parent.  On Wolfe it looks good, it calms him down, gives him new focus and drive.  On me, I'd be miserable unless she was really exciting and could play a lot."

Ryan looked at Willow.  "Do I feel insulted?"

"No, dear, it was a compliment."  She kissed him hard enough to make him moan.  "I'll have you know he's very exciting in bed, Eric.  Why do you think that wench Erica keeps trying to get into his jockey shorts even after she knew we were married?"

"TMI!" Eric said, covering his ears.  "I don't want to know!"

"It was over with long ago, while I was in college," Ryan assured him.  Eric gave him a funny look. "She was a student, I was a student.  She got ambitious and I became a cop."  He shrugged and leaned against his wife's side.  "Maybe you're right that marriage suits me more than it would you, but she is very exciting.  There's a reason why I still get back problems some mornings, Eric.  It's called my wife takes sex tips from Xander."  Xander beamed proudly.  "I'm sure he'll share with your eventual wife too."

Eric moaned and walked back inside shaking his head. "Momma, can I help cook?  Ryan's giving me bad thoughts.  He said Xander will be sharing tips with my wife if I ever find one."

She patted him on the cheek and smiled.  "That's one way to have an exciting marriage, dear."  She handed him a head of lettuce.  "Make a salad."  He nodded, going to do that.  Maybe he'd get wet and have to change.

***

Yelina stormed into Horatio's office, waving a piece of paper.  "Your husband is corrupting my son again."

He took the note, reading the 'out with the boys in the club' message.  He looked at her.  "Your son told you he was going out with Xander."

"I looked in his closet, the sluttiest pair of leathers in there are gone!"

"Ryan, Willow, Eric, and Buffy all went, with Speed and Calleigh watching them," he soothed, standing up and grabbing his jacket.  He could tell by the look on her face she was intending to have him hunt them down.  "I'm sure they're fine."

"They're not fine!  Your boy and my boy are getting slutty together and I doubt Eric is doing more than having woman after woman in the bathroom!"  She followed Horatio out, running into her former husband.  "Ray."

"Where's the kids?"

"They're out clubbing," Horatio offered.  "We can find them together."  He walked into the dispatch office.  "Any idea where my husband is making people sweaty?" he asked dryly.

The dispatch officer looked back at him.  "Well, Club Pendington was just shut down by Vice for having an open orgy.  They weren't reported there but there have been mentions of traffic down by South Beach and around some of their clubs.  Particularly the Flamingo.  That might not be them.  You could call the local dance music radio station, see where the happening action is."

"Thank you."  He walked out, going to do that.  "Where's the best place to party tonight?  The one with the prettiest and hottest?"  He listened, making notes.  "Thank you."  He hung up and handed Yelina the list.  "Any of them look familiar?"

"No," she snorted, pouting slightly.

Ray took the list and wrote addresses for most of them.  "Those other three opened after I left."  He shrugged.  "Where do we think the boys are?"

"Let me text Willow, see if she's got her phone."  He did that, getting an answer back from someone unexpected.  "They hired Beauvista to babysit," he said, looking amused.  "Di must be with them."  He got the next message of where they were, including address.  He texted back a thank you and headed off, expecting the worried parents to follow him.  It didn't take them very long, even without the siren or lights.  The boys had stayed close to home tonight.  He pulled up in front of the club, seeing the shocked looks.  "Not Vice, gentlemen.  Darkness?"

"Inside, sir, VIP lounge.  You are?"

"His husband."  That got some moans.  "These are the young one's parents."

"Yeah, Ray's in there with him, they're together so Ray doesn't get stolen," one of the bouncers offered with a shy grin.  "He's really cute."

"Thank you. May we?"  That got a nod.  "Where's their watching officer?"

"On the floor with his lady, sir."

"Thank you."  He walked them in there, remembering this club.  This is where Xander had first danced with him.  They made it to the VIP room, getting a long stare.  "I'm Darkness' husband Horatio.  These are Ray's parents."  The rope was opened and they were let inside.  "Thank you."  He nodded at the two rappers in there, turning to look out on the floor.  "There, Yelina.  There's Ray and Xander."

Ray Sr. looked, just staring in awe.  "My son's a God on the floor," he said finally.  She hit him, making the others in the room laugh.  He looked back at them.  "Ray Caine is my son."

One of the rappers smirked and waved.  "I saw his benefactor out there, man."  He looked at the obvious suit.  "Yo, who're you?"

"This is Horatio. He's married to Darkness," Yelina said, grinning at him.  "Also known as Lieutenant Caine, but we're off duty.  I don't care what you do as long as it doesn't come near my son.  We're only here so he doesn't get stolen, again."

One of them got up and came over to look. "Your boy's fly."

"Thank you," she said with a smile for him.  "The one he's dancing with is Darkness."

"Yeah, Xander.  We've met him.  He's one hell of a guy for being gay."  Horatio nodded at that.  He smirked at him.  "You're gay too?"

"He's my only one."

"Yeah, I'd switch for a sweet ass like that too," he said, looking back at his girl.  "You could learn some moves off him."  He pulled her up and out there, going to make her dance with the boys.  They grinned and nodded, putting her between them to work on her rhythm problems.

Ray Sr. looked around. "I can't find Speed or Eric."

"There's Di, Buffy, and Eric is near them," Yelina said, pointing them out.  "There's Speed and Calleigh, they're near the stage and getting cuddlesome."  She looked at Horatio's growl, watching him go out there to take his mate back, leaving her son with the girlfriend of the rapper.  It was cute, Ray was smiling and hot at her, making her blush and move closer. "If he scores out there...."

"I will be impressed and call my son The Man," Ray offered. She hit him again, making him yelp. "Ow!  Were you this big a shrew when we married or was it dating Stetler?"

"Yes, to both."  He growled and she stared back.  "Not yours."

"Yet."  He pulled her closer, kissing her hard.  "Yet, my dear, yet.  Remember that. You're still mine."

Ray walked in and tapped him on the shoulder, then slugged him. "Hands off my mother, sperm donor.  Now," he growled, looking exactly like his uncle, if his uncle Horatio wore leather.  He looked at his mother, then pulled her out with him, showing her the hipper moves.  The girl giggled at that.  He smirked.  "My mom.  She needs to loosen up.  She probably made Uncle Horatio come find Xander."

"After the note you left?  Yes!"

"At least I told you who I was with."  He stripped out of his shirt and tossed it at Speed since he was walking back to the VIP lounge.  "Toss that in my seat?" he called.  Speed nodded, looking him over then shaking his head.  Ray grinned and went back to dancing with his ladies.  Some of the younger people gave him a look.  "My mom, guys.  She came to rescue me."  He grinned and took off her jacket, putting her gun and badge inside, then handing it to Xander as Horatio drug him off the floor.  That was much better.  Now she looked like she should be in a club, instead of at work.

"Ah, my protege does well," Xander quipped as he was sat down and a drink gotten for him.  "I was doing okay.  No one tried to snatch me tonight."

"I don't care, Xander. You're still mine and I'm still possessive."  He kissed him, hard, fast, and needy.  "No more teasing the masses tonight."

Xander stroked his cheek.  "You know I tease to make you growl."  He got a light growl and grinned.  "Not good enough.  I don't need to walk tomorrow."  He stood up and took his drink, then took off his overshirt, leaving him in the sluttiest pants known to mankind.  The ones Di had made him change into after dinner.  He took his drink with him, wiggling the whole way out.  Horatio followed, making him one happy, teasing spouse.  Danny stared in horror but his partner made him face her again so it was all good.  He got back into the groove with Horatio, making him moan and move closer.  "Before you ask, we didn't cause the orgy earlier.  We got there as it broke out and Eric made us leave."  Horatio pulled him flush against his front, moving with him.  He growled and nipped his mate's throat.  "You're overdressed, Horatio."

"It's to protect my sanity."

"Who needs sanity?" Xander teased, playing with his shirt buttons.  He got swatted for it and only smirked.  He turned, letting Horatio have his back, where he belonged, while he teased the people in front of him.  He was in a desperate teasing mood.  He tried to move away but Horatio pulled him back.  He winked back at him and moved further off, dancing with Danny.  He was definitely in the mood to tease and he had told Danny and the others he needed to get it out of his system.  That's why Danny was staying so close to him.  Danny grinned and looked back at Horatio, nodding a bit.  He let Xander tease him all he wanted.  The last time he had gotten laid by a very nice girl in the back hallway.  This time, three girls came over and he had his choice of blonde, blonde, or dyed redhead - because hair didn't naturally come in that shade.  He grinned at them then winked at Xander and nodded, watching him take the redhead and make her hot and wet for him later.

Horatio growled, moving up behind Xander, taking his hips into his hands.  Xander grinned back at him and then let it go, letting it all hang out with her.  Danny eventually had to take her to get a drink, she had drooled too much.  And of course he was handsomely rewarded for his gallantry of buying her a five dollar drink.  By the time he came back Eric, Xander, and Horatio were dancing together and the girls trying to get with them were panting and wet.  You could tell by how they were moving.  Eric winked and took off with two of them.  Ray bumped into Danny on the way out, punching fists with him.  "He's so damn bad when he's in these moods," Ray called.  "This the same mood that used to get him taken when he stripped."  He dove back into the crowd, going to find a new hotty to dance with.

Danny grinned and took another picture to send to his family back home.  They could be jealous but he'd bring Sheldon what he wanted, a sweat sample to see what made Xander so hot.  He found Buffy and danced with her for a bit since she looked pretty lonely.  She gave him a smile and moved against him, making him feel like a dirty old man for a few minutes.  Then he remembered Xander was her age so it was okay enough.  He guessed.  It wasn't like he was going to sleep with her. And hey, he was covered at home.  Stella had *ordered* him to relieve some of the, as she put it, smouldering pressure that kept her from working while he was down here. As long as he played safely.

Horatio reclaimed his mate, getting another of those looks back.  He knew what his mate needed and he pulled him back against his chest, snarling gently in his ear, making him harder.  He danced with him, making him regret wearing pants too tight to get hard in, but it was good for his boy. He was letting it go, teasing everyone by how they were dancing.  He saw a great many couples get together and head for the back areas while he was dancing with his boy.  Then he saw his nephew was one of them and growled in a different key.  Xander reached back to stroke his thigh, getting his attention back.  He needed to wear this out.  Xander ended up shirtless thanks to some girl who clung to him while rubbing against his front.  Danny took the shirt back after kissing her stupid, tucking it in his belt.  She moaned and drug him into the back, his dance partner following along to get some herself.  The only thought in his mind was 'naughty Xander' but he loved his boy.

***

Horatio trudged into the station the next morning, glaring at Frank.  "Not one word," he warned, holding up a finger.

"You're wearing the same clothes, Horatio.  That's unlike you."

"Xander was in super teasing mode," Eric moaned as he walked in, very carefully. Frank gave him an amused look.  "I popped my back wrong.  Danny's coming in to fill in for me."  Horatio gave him a look.  "He said he is.  He's still bouncing and happy."

"He's got more energy than everyone but Xander and Ray then," Ray Sr. offered as he walked in.  "Where is my son the stud?"

"He went home when Yelina drug him from between the triplets," Eric told him, bleary eyed look and all.  Danny came in grinning and happy.  "How do you still have energy?"

"Caffeine," he said with a nod and a grin.  "I'll collapse about the same time the painkillers kick in for you, Eric."

"Good enough for me," Horatio agreed, heading for his office at a very slow walk.  Calleigh tried to stop him but he waved her off and kept going. If he stopped, he'd never make it up the stairs.  She and Speed came over to help him up there. "Thank you."

"Not a problem," Speed assured him.  "What time did you go home?  I know you were still letting the son tease when we left at two."  Horatio gave him a look and Speed smirked.  "Just now, huh?"  Horatio nodded, falling into his desk chair with a sigh of relief.  "You need a nap?  I'll fill in with Eric."

"Danny's filling in for Eric until his back pops again," he said quietly.  "Danny's got caffeine."

"Good," Calleigh agreed, going to check on the other guys.

Speed handed over a paper.  "Ryan called off.  Too much horny wife in *that* phase of the pregnancy."

Horatio called him.  "Mr. Wolfe, if I made it in, you can make it in."  He hung up and looked at him.  "Anything else?"

"Not yet.  Catch twenty and I'll be in charge."

"I would but I've got another meeting in an hour," he complained.

"Uh-huh.  The Chief's already called, said he'll save you a pillow."  He walked off shaking his head.

Horatio called his boss.  "Not funny," he said.  Then he hung up and pulled over some necessary but dull paperwork.  His phone rang so he answered it.  "Caine."  He listened to the praise for his dancing style and moaned. "You were there?"  His boss agreed that he was indeed there, watching his mate tease everyone.  "No, I'm fine, sir.  I could use the afternoon off but I'm fine.  Thank you anyway."  He hung up and got back to work.  Maybe he'd find a reason to get into the field today.  The fresh air and lack of papers would do him good.

Speed came jogging in. "They just found the guy dead, Horatio.  Bite marks."

"Fuck," he growled, getting up and heading off with him, forgetting his pain for a little bit.

Speed texted Willow, getting a 'handled' back.  "Ooooh.  Wonder if Wolfe knows she's out of bed already."

"Probably not.  He was rather sleepy when I called."  They ran into a glaring Ryan coming

in.  "The person who had the shrines died."

"Wonderful.  Can I cheer?" he asked blandly, following them once he had signed in.  "Boss, when did you make it home?"

"I haven't," he admitted.  They went down to holding, finding Calleigh and Alex on the scene already.  "Alexx?"

"Exsanguination, Horatio.  From a fairly brutal bite mark."  She looked at the single cell, then at him.  "She's already looked at the tapes.   No one came in here."

"Uh-huh," Speed agreed.

Ryan called his wife. "Where are you?" he asked pleasantly.  "Okay, ask Xander where he's driving you."  He listened, then groaned.  "No, not without backup, Willow.  Do I care!" he said hotly, walking off.  "You're not going in there without backup and we're all deadly tired.  Not today.  Then we'll go tonight.  No!"  He growled. "Willow!"  Eric gave him an odd look.  "Someone bit the guy who had the shrine, he's dead.  Guess where mine and Horatio's spouses are?"

"Right where they need to be?" he guessed.  Ryan nodded.  "That's fine. Thank you."  He took the phone.  "Willow, try for reasonable.  You're tired, Xander's just now getting out of the club.  You're exhausted.  So let's not do this now.  We can go later.  No, my back's out.  Horatio's glaring at the wall.  Ryan's growling.  Can't we do this tonight?"  He listened to the reasonable reasons and sighed, shaking his head.  "No, Willow.  Tonight, when you've got backup.  I know but he's tired and you're on the blink.  Please?"  Xander took the phone.  "Try for reasonable, Xander.  Please.  Backup is good."  He heard the quiet words.  "She's not...."  He sighed. "You're right, she does, and he would've wanted it that way but yay.  We need to be there too.  Yes, us."  He got hung up on.  "They're in the warehouse district.  I heard the horns."  Ryan walked off, heading for the hummers.

"I've got GPS on Xander's cars," Horatio admitted, heading after him.

"I've got one on Willow's," he agreed, pulling out his monitor.  Horatio got his from his desk and they compared.  "Hey, they're in Willow's car.  Buffy's with them?"  Horatio nodded.  "Fantastic," he said bitterly.  "Shall we?"

"We should," he agreed, heading out with him, Speed right behind them.  "Speed...."

"Shut up, Horatio," he ordered fondly.  "Not like you're in any shape to stake someone, or Wolfe."  He got in to drive, heading off at high speed with the worried spouses.  "I'm going to kick their asses.  Anyone going to protest?"

"I can spank her myself," Ryan promised.

"As can I," Horatio agreed.

"You spank Xander and he'll leave," Speed warned.  "You will never see him again, Horatio."

"I know.  I have my own methods of correction."

"Good to know."  He turned the corner and flipped on his lights and sirens.  It was going to be a long day.

***

Xander walked into the warehouse, looking at the insane psycho posse, frowning greatly.  "What the fuck are you doing in Miami!" he shouted, making the cheerleaders jump and shriek.

Dru smiled at him.  "Kitten," she said fondly. She walked over. "You're a naughty kitten, running away.  It was very hard to find you."

"Half the point," he sneered, removing her hand from his chest.  "Not going to happen, Dru."

"But the daddy needs you."

"So does my son."  She pouted.  He backhanded her.  "You're in my city, Druscilla.  You knew better when you came."  He pulled out a stake.

"Oooh, look, he thinks he can hurt us," Harmony called.  The others laughed.  Including the cloaked figure in the corner.  "Don't you think you should put it down?"

"No. I don't."  He waved her on.  "You think you can try me?"  She vamped out and rushed him.  He threw her and staked her.  Then glared at Dru.  "You're upsetting my husband and son.  Not to mention Willow's son and husband.  You might wanna go before they get here.  Tim's not the nicest and if I know him, he's with them."

"They can be good boys," she assured him, moving closer with another smile.  "We need you, kitten.  Only you can save daddy."

"What do I care if he dies?"  She pouted. "Get Spike, Dru.  I could care less if he dies."

"But he'll save you some day."

"No he won't.  I save myself."  He got free and pushed her back again.  "Drop off the planet, Dru.  You're bothering the inhabitants."

"That's not nice," she pouted.

"Who said I was nice?" he sneered.  "I'm not known for being *nice*.   A tease, really hot, but not *nice*."  The cheerleaders giggled at that.  "Sorry, ladies, taken.  My man likes it that way."  That got more laughs.  "You'd be surprised."  A few more tried him and he staked them, wincing since one started to bleed. "Did you forget to turn her?"  Fortunately he had a weak backhand today.  She'd live.  He dialed Willow.  "Call them, tell them at least one is still living, but bleeding now," he said lightly, hanging up.  He looked at Dru again. "You won't win."

"I will. You're here.  We can give you everything, kitten."  He moved away from her, backing up to a safer spot.  He heard the sirens and smirked, shaking his head.  "Yes, we will."

"No, you won't, you fruity pebbles bitch."  She growled and came for him but he danced out of the way and kicked her, sending her crashing into a wall.  She shrieked and turned around, heading back.  He ducked two swings and a grab attempt, then kicked her in the stomach before following, losing himself in the familiar rhythms.  She sneered and spat at him, hissing like a cat.  He shrugged it off, focusing on her hands and teeth, the dangerous parts.  She attacked and he defended, then tried to stake her but she moved out of the way.

"Enough!" the cloak figure called, pushing off her hood.  "Xander, leave Dru alone.  She's right."

"Bite me," he snorted.  Cordelia vamped out. "Interesting."  He went back to fighting her.  Cordy rushed him and he had to swing out of her way, tripping her.  The doors burst open, Ryan and Horatio behind Speed, who had his crossbow.  "Gimme!" he called, holding up a hand.  Tim tossed it, making him roll back to get it, then shooting Dru.  He sneered at her dust.  "Bye bye."  He looked at Cordelia, crossbow at his side.  "When?"

"Last month.  I nearly died.  Angel turned me."

"Pity.  He teaching you?"  She nodded. "You have the right to walk away then."

"The others?"

"The human one will get care.  The others can disappear with you," he promised.  "As long as you go and never come back to my city and never bother me and mine again."  She growled.  He pulled up the crossbow.  "Don't think that I won't, Cordy. I staked Jesse.  You're my ex, he was my blood brother.  Not even close."  She burst out crying.  "Not going to work."  Willow and Buffy got free of his lock on the car and he waved a hand.  "Look who's turned."

"Joy," Buffy said, walking in to look at her. "Why?"

"I was nearly dead. Angel did it."

"Pity."  She palmed her stake.

"Buffy, I gave her the right to leave."

"She's a vampire, Xander!"

"And?  She's learning from Angel.  As long as he keeps her in check, we don't have issues until they come after my family. I've pulled back to guarding that instead."  Buffy gave him an incredulous look.  One of the other cheerleaders rushed them.  He shot one in the stomach, watching her not bleed.  The other did bleed when he did the same.  He staked the vampire then backhanded the other one, looking at the last one, who backed away and took off running.  He looked at Cordelia again. "Leave my city," he ordered quietly.  "Or know the price."

"You're treated like a God so you can be sacrificed," she sneered. "It'll all fall apart if you don't die!"

"No it won't.  I've still got the running of the foundation and my spouse, Cordy.  See, he hates the presents."  She sneered.  "He won't be leaving me if something like that were to happen."

"You're so sure?" she sneered.

"Yes, I am.  He made me see that."  He waved a hand. "Last chance.  If not, one of us gets you.  Your only chance to live is to leave."

"It's daylight!"

"There's a sewer system. Take a right outside and head west.  It'll get you into the 'Glades. There's plenty of darkness out there.  Go and don't come near my family again."  She stomped off, heading into the sewers. "You forgot your shit!"

"It's yours," she sneered, glaring back at him. "You'll still die.  You'll still die to help Angel save everyone!"

"If the Powers dictate that, I can die in a car crash.  Wouldn't be the first one I had."  He waved a hand. "Have fun in the sewers and we're leaving your shit here for you."  She rushed him and he put her onto her back, hesitating just a second with the stake, then she was gone. He stood up and dusted off, heading back outside. "I'm heading to swim."

Horatio stopped him, looking at him.  "You had to."

"I know that.  Doesn't make it any easier."  He stared at his mate.  "I know you won't leave."  Horatio smiled at that.  "Prove me wrong and I'll kill both of us."  He got free. "I need to swim.  I need to wear it out."

"That's fine, Xander.  We'll be talking later."

Xander stepped closer, palming his cheek with a small smile. "You may be my alpha but the female hunts for the pack.  The male does the admin stuff and scratches my itchy spots when I've laid in the sun too long."  He took a gentle, long, deep kiss.  "You can do that later."  He walked off. "I'm heading to the gym, who am I giving a ride to?" he called.

"Oh, she's coming with us," Ryan called back.  He glared at his wife, who blushed and looked down.  "Willow, I know we've discussed the concept of backup before, the same as I know you're not dumb enough to ignore that rule.  We set it for a good reason, the same reason Horatio did.  Because we don't want to see you become a pile of ashes one day."

"Ease off," Buffy ordered quietly, staring him down. "They're both very skilled and have done it alone more often than anyone but them realizes."  Willow gave her a shocked look.  "Yeah, I realized Xander was going out alone.  It was the only explanation for the declines we had now and then.  The same as I figured you did now and then magically."  Willow slowly shook her head.  "No?"

"No.  Xander did.  I didn't.  I knew better.  He's the dumb one."  Horatio glared at her so she shrank back.  "Sorry, Horatio."

Buffy smiled at him.  "The more I see you being overprotective of the Xander the more I like you, Caine.  Xander needs someone with a firm hand on the whip."  She looked at her friend.  "Think we should've gone to the gym with him?"

"He goes to a stripper gym," she said with a really hot blush. "I can't deal with that.  Sorry."

"S'okay.  It happens."  She shrugged and walked Willow over to Ryan, handing her over.  "You're very protective of her.  I like that about you.  Of course, if you step over the line, even if I don't ever regain my slayer abilities, you'll be toasty very quickly."  He nodded, smirking at her.  "Remember that.  Even if I have to come back from the dead."  She looked at Tim.  Grinning slightly.  "Hi, Tim."

He swatted her.  "Stupid brat."  She shrugged.  "Home, now!"

"I live on the other coast....."  He grabbed her by the hair and walked her off.  "Hey!  It's the only thing going right in my life!  Leave the hair alone, Tim!"

"Are you suicidal!" he shouted, glaring at her.  "You knew better!"

"He locked us in the car!"

"Good!  That shows he's got some brains!  Unlike you and her!  She's pregnant, Buffy!"

"The girl before me went out until her ninth month!"

"And I'm sure she died!"

"Oops," she said quietly.  "It was a complication due to labor," she offered.  He glared.  "Fine, I won't endanger Willow but Xander growled and grabbed a stake so we had to follow him. You know how he can be!  He'll get hurt!"

He looked at her. "The sad thing is, you actually believe that," he told her, letting her go.  "Go home with Willow."  She nodded, heading over there to beg for a ride back to Willow's.  He growled at Horatio.  "She still thinks he's going to get hurt."

"As do I, Speed."

"Yeah, but you think it for different reasons than she does, H.  Trust me on this."  He glared at the duo of girls, getting sheepish looks as they got into the car.  Then he looked at Horatio again.  "You've got my boy later?"

"I'll be firmly speaking to him once he's worn out and begging for forgiveness."  Speed smirked at that.  "All without having to raise a hand to him."

"He might not like that."

"I've got my special methods with the boy, Speed.  What about the things in there?"

"Like I give a damn."  He shrugged and headed back to their hummer.  "Coming?"

"Yes.  Ryan can give the ladies a lift home then come in."

"Sure," Ryan called.  He got in to drive, going to lecture them the whole eight and a three/tenths miles home.

***

Xander came off the back porch, looking at his mate when he came in. "Before you say a word, they were coming after me. It was my right to defend myself and my family. I had backup.  If I got hurt, the locks would've popped and they'd have rushed in.  I had backup.  That was the rule we set."

Horatio studied him.  "Not exactly.  I told you you were not to go hunting without me being present as backup, even if you took Willow because she's more delicate at this time."  He moved closer.  "I did not say that Buffy was an acceptable substitute for my presence."

"If you had come with me, you'd have to admit to being there."

"I had to anyway, Buffy's fight with Speed got reported."

"I'm sorry."

"So am I."  He pulled him closer, kissing him gently. "I should spank you."

"You do that and I'm walking out the door, never to return.  I'll let Ethan pack my stuff," he said firmly.

"Which is the only thing holding me back," he assured him, stroking his cheek.  "That was stupid."

"It was necessary."

"Doesn't make it any less stupid, Xander."  Xander pulled away with a sigh and headed back outside.  "Get back here."

"I'm not fighting with you."  He closed the porch door and headed down onto the beach.

Horatio gathered his thoughts, then got them both a bottle of beer.  Even though Xander didn't drink, he could have his if he wouldn't.  He could use the mental lubricant.  He walked out there, handing Xander one as soon as he sat next to him.  Xander gave it an odd look and handed it back.  "It's the only cold thing in the fridge."

"I refilled the water pitcher when I got home."

"Thank you."  He sipped his beer, then looked at his spouse. "You knew it was dumb or you wouldn't be trying to justify yourself, Xander," he offered quietly.  "The same as you knew you were panicking about them getting near you or Eric.  I understand that.  You could have told me before you left and I'd have gone with you tonight."

"There was more chance of them being asleep today."  He leaned against his side. "How are the two humans?"

"They'll be fine.  Speed told the officers they were in a cult related haze and the leader had ordered them to off each other for not being worthy."  He put an arm around his shoulders.  "You're not in trouble. Even if they talk, it'll be suspect since they'd have to talk about Dru and Cordelia."  Xander's breath caught.  "I know it's hard, Xander."

"They were going to sacrifice me to one of the Dark Gods to give Angel my skills," he said quietly, looking at him. "Dru got that other guy sucked in too."

"I figured as much.  From what you and Willow have told me, she seemed like the sort who could do that."  Xander nodded, swallowing and leaning closer. "I'm sorry you had to do that.  If I had been there sooner, I'd have done it for you."

"No you wouldn't have. You can't stake worth a damn, Horatio."  He took the spare bottle and sipped it, making a face.  "I hate beer."

"All we had."

"I know."  He snuggled in.  "I'm sorry you're disappointed."

"I'm only disappointed that you didn't want me to help, didn't expect me to be there.  The same as I'm disappointed that you and Willow go hunting without telling Ryan and I."  He stroked over his outer arm, getting a shiver.  "We want to protect you, Xander.  Not because you're weak or helpless, but because it's what mates do.  We protect each other."

"It's a good thing we aren't really our animal selves out on the plains," Xander said quietly, taking another drink. "If I had been injured, the pack would've sent me away or killed me."

"That's the beauty of higher thought, medicine."  He looked him over.  "Are you all right?"

"Sore."  He looked up at him.  "My back again."  He grimace. "When I spun."

"It happens.  I'll work on it later."  He kissed him on the temple.  "We should go back inside before you get an itchy spot from too much sun."  Xander blushed at that. "I knew what you meant, Xander, and I don't mind taking care of you.  I don't want it to be because you were doing something stupid and deadly that managed to get you permanently injured."  He made his mate look at him.  "Then I would have to yell and spank you.  You'd deserve it for not telling me."

"You ever hit me...."

"I'd never hit you in anger, but sometimes you do things that make me want to spank you."  He stared him down.  "Buying my nephew a sports car was one of them."

"It's the one from the other house."

"I realize that now.  Yelina is still throwing fits."

"It was that or he'd have bought his own.  I'm only letting him use it."

"That's fine, but it's still not a good idea."  He stole a kiss.  "Come on, we'll work on your back and then you can tell me what sort of couch we're replacing the broken one with."  Xander nodded, getting up and helping him up, carrying both their bottles inside.  Horatio took the rest of Xander's.  "What are we going to do with the hidden house?" he asked quietly while he worked.

"I like it," he moaned, shifting back into the warm, dry hands.  "Thank you."

"I don't mind taking care of these injuries but from now on, you and I will go hunting together, even if you do have to bring Willow or Buffy," he ordered quietly.

"Yes, sir."

"Good boy.  Remember, good boys who follow the few house rules get rewarded."

"Really hot sex?"

"Or the ability to buy me a *single* present if you want to do that instead."

"Hmm, only a single one?"

"Single, nothing over a thousand dollars, and nothing jewelry either," he ordered.

"Okay, I wouldn't mind that.  I started a load of socks."

"Thank you. You don't have to spoil me but I know it makes you happy, Xander."  He got back to work on the boy's lower back, making him moan and go limp suddenly.  "That got it?"  Xander nodded.  "Better?"

"All better.  Thank you."  He flipped over, pulling his mate down to kiss him.  "I love you.  You know that, right?"  Horatio nodded. "The same as you know I think you fuss over nothing sometimes?"

"We all have our quirks."

"I thought that was kinks," he teased.

"Most people have both," he offered, smiling at him.  "You're still in trouble."

"Damn."

Horatio took another kiss.  "Not major trouble since you did bring backup, even though it was a pregnant woman and a former slayer."

"They're still skilled."

"That's not the point.  Think about Willow getting hurt, Xander."

"Why do you think I locked her in the car?"  He looked back at him.  "Not like I was going to risk my niece."

"Ryan said the ultrasound showed a boy."

Xander just smirked.  "Tim told her last night to pray for an answer.  It'd happen."

"If they say so."  He stole another kiss. "I should get back to work."  He yawned.  "I don't think I could function though."

Xander flipped over and sat in his lap, kissing and nuzzling him.  "Good boys who go to work get surprised with a new couch when they get home.  They also get to say if it's fabric or leather."

"Hmm, stainproof fabric," he ordered quietly.  "Leather gets sticky in humidity."  Xander nodded, kissing him gently.  "Thank you.  Something coordinating?"

"I'll bring in pictures and call Di if I get stuck."

"Good boy."  He yawned again.  "Sorry, I'm still tired."

"Go to work, find something interesting, then come home and nap, babe.  I'll be here with the new couch."

"Fine."  He smiled at him.  "Take out? So I don't have to cook?"

"Sure.  Need more fudge for your car?" he teased.

"No I got told that was cruel and unusual punishment by a judge.  He said I had to quit doing it."  He took another kiss, then stood them up, letting Xander slide down his front.  "I'll go back to work and you'll behave."

"Yes, dear."  He grinned at him, walking him out to his SUV.  Then Xander bounced back inside and grabbed his wallet, keys, and ID case, heading out to his car.  He got in and settled into the seat.  He was just as tired as Horatio, but he was on a mission. He could nap when they got a sofa.

***

Speed looked up as Horatio walked in.  "I'm impressed, you came back."

"Xander's getting a new couch to take the place of the broken one."

"Interesting.  Hopefully he remembers to remove the guns?"  Horatio moaned and nodded.  "Good.  Go do something in your office.  The Chief's called twice and I told him you were working at home."

"Crap," he muttered, heading that way.  He called him since his voicemail light was flashing. "It's Horatio.  No, I went home to talk to my errant mate.  Why?"  He listened to the report on the scene they had left. "We had no idea if it was stolen or not or if it was a scene.  All I know is that the people who ran out of there had been threatening my husband.  He went to face them down, I went to stop him, and Mr. Wolfe went to stop his wife from helping my husband."  He listened.  "I had no idea Speedle was carrying a crossbow or why, sir."  He grimaced. "Thank you, sir. Of course."  He hung up and put his head down, then called Speed.  "Come up with a good reason why you had the crossbow, call the Chief back."  He hung up and finished putting his head down, falling asleep there.  It was only the third time in his career, it could be excused.

***

Xander got the page and frowned, calling the office.  "Harris."  He listened.  "Gee, Chief, I don't know what you want....."  He listened.  "No, they were threatening to kill me."  He snorted.  "Chief, where were *you* last night?" he asked dryly, smirking at the salesman coming over.  "Hold on."  He moved the mouthpiece.  "Couch, blue, green, maybe dark red.  Comfy enough to sleep on, stainproof, need it today if possible, his house is a bit more modern than my tastes."

"All right. Let's walk while you finish that."

Xander nodded, following along. "Sorry, Chief.  Broke the couch.  No, I was bouncing on it and I broke the couch.  The day after the really good sex actually.  Why?"  He smirked at the salesman, shrugging.  "Why would I care what they left?  Wrong person for that, boss.  Yeah, and I'm not the one who does crime scene stuff. What do you mean you can't wake Horatio up?"  He snorted and rolled his eyes.  "Yay.  Thank you."  He hung up and called his father.  "Daddy, what's wrong with Horatio and why do *I* have to go back to that scene?"  He listened and grumbled. "Fine."  He hung up and looked at him.  "Let's make this quick, I had to threaten someone earlier who was threatening my life.  The cops want to know why."

"How's this one?" he asked, pointing at one.

Xander looked, then sat down.  "It's squishy.  Good for napping, fabric, stainproof, green, dark blue, maybe deep red.  Today.  Must be able to have sex on it."  That got a small blush.  "Not like I'm not honest.  Oh, it's also got to have a small amount of ground clearance, I've got to hide a gun under it.  My mate's a cop."  The man's eyes went wide.  "We've had someone try to break in and shoot my mate for being a good cop.  So, yeah."  He pulled out the pictures.  "That's what we presently have, that's a closer image of the pattern on the other things, we need something good."

"Sure," he said, flipping through them.  He walked him to the set he currently had, letting him see it.  "Want something just like it?"  Xander shook his head and headed for a dark blue sofa, laying down on it and wiggling.  "That's fairly narrow for... napping, sir."

Xander nodded. "It is.  It's also a bit hard.  Got something just slightly wider and deeper than that?  Cuddleable sort?"

"I do," he admitted, leading him into the back.  "This just came in.  Someone ordered it but didn't like the color."

Xander sat down, wiggling some, testing it.  "A bit soft."  He laid back and imagined himself taking a nap.  Then the salesman woke him up.  "Sorry, up all night in the club teasing."  He sat up, nodding.  "I like it. How much and can it be delivered today?"

"If you pay the extra rush fee."  He smiled and handed back the pictures, taking the tag off the couch.  He led Xander to the nearest register, letting him fill out the delivery slip while he ran the credit card.  He winced.  "Sir?"

Xander took it back and handed over another one. "I'll check on that later.  Sorry."  He got back to it, watching as that one went through.  He grinned and finished the paperwork.  "If I'm not there, knock on the neighbor on the right's door and make sure there's no guns hidden under the couch please. I already cleaned all the change out."  He took his card back and grinned. "I'm off to annoy others now. Have a nice day."

"You...you too," he agreed, waving at his back.  He looked at the name on the card, then smirked. "I see.  I've seen him on tv about cases."  He filed that away and took the delivery tag where it needed to go.

***

Xander walked up to where Eric was working, clearing his throat.  "Why did you get it?"

"Part of the last one," he said, looking up at him. "You're in my light."

"The chief told me to come bother your ass about this shit."

"Quit swearing," he complained, going back to work.  "They left stuff saying it was all for you."

"How much of it was stolen?"

"We're not sure."

"Then sort it out and let me know.  The rest I'll give away or something."  He grimaced in distaste.  "Skanky cheerleader vampires," he complained, walking off shaking his head.  "Why me?"

"I was wondering the same thing," Eric called. "Get back here!"  Xander turned and trudged back.  "Xander," he said patiently.

"Yes, pookie."  The patrol guys all snickered at that.  "He swims with me.  His mother steals my son to watch."  He looked at him and grinned. "What did you need to know that you didn't get from Speed, Horatio, Ryan, Willow, or Buffy?"

"Uh-huh.  So the piles of dust....."

"Cordy, Dru, a few other cheerleaders, Harmony."

"Crap," he muttered.  "Anything else you want to admit to?"

Xander stared at him for a moment. "I had to stake my ex, Eric.  I was on a clubbing and teasing high and now I've got to let the people moving the couch in.  They wanted to kill me to give Angel more power and my skills.  Not like I was going to let it happen."

"Fine," he agreed, patting him on the arm. "Go home and rest.  I'll get the rest from Speed."

"Sure. But I still have to put the couch in."  He walked off again, heading for the house.

Eric shook his head. He even gave orders like Horatio at times.  Those two were bad for each other. He went back to his cataloging.  He knew a lot more about jewelry than any single man really should, but it was probably useful on the job.  A small letter appeared next to his hand and fluttered down onto the pile of ashes, letting him pick it up and look at it.  An account from Willow, who said some very interesting things.  He bagged it too, then went back to picking up the pile of dust. He had to do this by the book since there were officers involved.  IAB had already been here.

***

Horatio walked in and saw the new couch, and his naked, dripping with sweat mate sleeping on it.  "Decided it needed christened?" he called loudly.

"No," Xander moaned, forcing himself to sit up.  "I was on my way to the shower after my run.  I sat down."  He held his head, looking at him, earning a smile. "Like it?  It's a bit squishier than we had but comfortable."  Horatio came over to sit next to him, nodding that he did like it. "I went with the dominant pattern in the other pieces instead of going for what we used to have."

"It goes well enough," he promised, taking a kiss.  Xander leaned against his side, yawning.  "Don't do that," he ordered through a yawn of his own.  "Dinner?"

"Chinese, fridge," Xander said, closing his eyes again and curling up.  One of his hands found Horatio's closest one, holding it.  Horatio smiled down at him. "Quit grinning, I can be cute and cuddly. It's my kink."

"Cuddling is a right, not a kink," he assured him, smoothing down some of the damp hair. "I can't believe you went for a run today."

"I always run on Tuesdays."  He yawned again.  "I only did three miles.  We can do two tomorrow when you take yours."

"If you want."  He felt himself drifting off, letting go now that he was home.  "Baby or anyone?"

"Ray Jr. but he's in the office doing the checkbook.  I used your card but I already sent in a payment. They're still screwing with mine."

"That's fine, Xander."  They drifted off together, Horatio eventually laying down, his last thought being that it was a very comfortable couch.  Maybe he'd replace the chair no one wanted to sit in soon.

Ray Jr. came out of the office, awwing at the cuteness of Xander spread out across his uncle's chest, naked but okay.  He went into the kitchen, taking a carton of the chinese food, then headed back to slave for Xander.  He hated doing this stuff on his own, and now Xander had bribed him with being able to keep the sports car for another month if he did it for him. Maybe he'd earn it free and clear by the time he graduated.  He sat down, dialing his mother and putting her on speaker phone but turning it down.  "Mom, me.  I'm at Uncle Horatio's."

"Why?" she asked patiently.

"Xander bribed me with further use of his car if I balanced his accounts for him."  She sighed.  "Mom, I'm a teenage guy, I need a car," he pointed out. "Otherwise my dates will be like last night, in the clubs."

"Fine, son.  You may *borrow* his car."

"I'm hoping to work it off by continuing his mundane secretarial duties," he joked, eating a bite.  "They're asleep on the new couch. It is very comfy, I tested it while Xander was out for his run."

"That's fine, son. Let them know that the stolen items were found and we need his reference file in tomorrow."  Ray grunted, writing down that note.  "Are his accounts still being held?"

"Two of the six.  The ones he's got the cards off of.  He made a few calls to fix that earlier.  Any word on the FBI giving up?"

"They showed up today but Ryan took them on.  I'm not sure what he said but the agent took off at a dead run."

"Probably something about what Willow's found.  Hopefully she's still at home too."

"She's still in the break room reading, son.  He's not letting her anywhere out of his sight."  She sighed again.  "We really should talk, Raymond."

"About....."

"Your clothing, the clubs you go to, what you did last night in them.  How your father was very proud about you being a slut."

"Well, except for the last, I like who I am, I'd date if I had a real chance of finding a decent girlfriend, and he can kiss my ass and worship it at the same time.  Anything else, mom?"

"I want you to quit working for Diana, son."

He burst out laughing. "Sure, mom.  Sure.  You know it won't stop the teenage male sluttiness issues, right?"  She groaned. "Come on, mom, I'm earning good money doing this.  I could care less about people wanting my ass."

"I don't want you to have the same problems Xander does, son."

"I'm flattered you think I can draw people like he did, but I know I have *nothing* on the hips of Darkness, or his howling animal nature that came out on stage and drew most of them. The same as Xander said this time was more about Dru treating him nice before she sacrificed him to a Dark God."

"Yes, son, I heard that from Speedle."

"Yeah, well, not the same thing, mom.  Not like the vampires like me.  Especially not that one since she's gone. Since that one guy, no one's shown anything other than lust for me.  If they had, I'd have told you."

"Son, I heard about that one girl who tried to stalk you."

"I told you about her."

"No you didn't."

"Yes, I did, I asked your advice over dinner one night."

"That was her?"

"Yup."

"She was pretty."

"Mom, she's not pretty.  She's very not pretty.  She's fugly, zitty, and snot ridden.  She's not pretty. If she looked pretty, she must've done something cosmetically. Sorry, but no."

"The blonde?"

"Yeah, her.  Zits'r'us.  Runny nose constantly. Cheeks sunken in even though she's overweight.  Not what I'd call pretty, mom.  She looked like what I picture a plague victim to look like when they have pustules."

"If you say so.  The pictures of the plea bargain were decent."

"Her lawyer obviously cleaned her up so there wouldn't be any pity sentences."  He ate another bite.  "See if you can find out what the FBI told Ryan?  That way I can leave a note?"

"If you want, son.  What are you doing for him?"

"His checkbook, his credit card statement.  Uncle H's credit card and check book statements.  Xander's trust statement.  Someone made a deposit into it recently.  Typing two versions of the 'sorry, couldn't help you with a scholarship' letter for the board's approval.  The general secretarial duties for them."  He ate another bite. "Uncle Horatio needs a better computer in here."  He made a note of that and ate another bite.  "They're napping on the couch. Xander went for a three mile run then collapsed naked."

"I really do wish he'd stop that," she complained.

"It's his house and it's not like I haven't seen him naked before.  Di has had us changing in front of each other and it's not like the spray on stuff can be underwear."  She spluttered.  "Truth, not like I don't have one of my own either.  His isn't that different and I still like girls."  Someone slammed the front door.  "Gotta go."  He got up, going out there to stop his father.  "They both need their rest.  I'm in the office."  His father shrugged and followed him so Ray went back to his duties and his dinner.  "What did you need?"

"To talk to my brother."

"He's napping.  He went right from the club to the office."

Ray moaned. "He's too old for that."

Ray snorted, looking at his old man.  "Says who?  Some outdated version of what a man is?"  He got up and closed the door, checking on them. "I've got it. Go back to sleep, Xander."  That got a nod and Xander put his head back down.  "Sorry, but Uncle Horatio is still fairly young, father.  If he wants to indulge his husband, he is more than capable of it."  He got back to his accounting project.  "Maybe I should take accounting as a minor," he mused, shaking his head.  His father gave him an odd look.  "In return for doing this stuff, I get to keep using Xander's car."

"Oh."  He nodded.  "That's important at your age, especially with your conquest rate."

Ray put down his pen and looked at him.  "As I just told Mom, I'd date if there were good prospects anywhere near me, Father.  Since there aren't, I'm relieving the stress.  That's all that is.  Yes, I'm aware that some people think I'm too young to have sex in the clubs, but yay.  I like my life. I'm very careful when I do things like that. Xander gave me the *extended* sex talk."  Ray Sr. shuddered at that.  "I can identify diseases on sight for some of them.  I'm also very careful and I always carry good condoms, ones I buy instead of taking the cheaper, thinner things from the health department.  I know I'm clean, but I'm not taking that chance.  Now, is there anything else?"

"Drugs?" he asked quietly.

Ray Jr. looked at him.  "With your stunning example?" he shot back bitterly.  His father nodded at that. "I'll admit to a few shots now and then.  Nothing further."  That got another nod.  "Anything else or can I get back to earning my ride?"

"I wanted to make sure you knew what you were doing and you were playing safely, Ray.  I don't want you to be hurt like some of the club whores are."

Ray stared his old man down. "One more word, father, and I will walk out there and tell Xander *exactly* how old Suzie was when she got pregnant with Madison.  Since that's slightly below the limit of consent and Xander's a fierce believer in those things at times....."

His father nodded quickly.  "I understand."

"Good.  Leave Madison alone.  You're confusing her."  He stared him down, then suddenly smirked. "I feel like the Godfather for some reason."

"You're rather dressed like it today, son," his father noted bitterly.

"I go to school with two of the local boss's sons, father.  They like how Uncle Xander dresses me too."  He stared him down.  "Anything else?"  That got a quick headshake.  "You're positive?"

"I am.  As long as you stay careful and safe so that you don't catch anything.  Though your mother and I would like it if you quit being such a slut.  It'd make her happier if you dated."

"Sure, but the only choices I have are mafia princesses, two really smart chicks who mystify everyone but each other, and they're together, or a few girls who're seriously bad for my mental state considering they make me gooey minded from their breast jobs.  I've discovered that I hate breast implants.  They're really nasty and lead to lack of feeling.  But hey, I know what I don't want in a girlfriend.  It'll save time later when I get to be pickier."

Ray rolled his eyes.  "The whole point of dating is learning that, son."

"Father, I already know that I want a woman with brains at least a good as mine, one who appreciates my body but doesn't want me for it or wants to worship it, one who thinks I'm funny now and then, and one who thinks I've got a bit of growing up to do.  One without breast implants if possible and I'd like one that's fairly responsive in bed, the car, the club, the closet, wherever.  The last two would be ideal but I'm going for the first list first."

Ray snorted. "You're going to be lonely for a very long time, son."

He looked at him.  "I know two like that, but they're both presently dating.  I can wait and make due with stress relief."

"If your mother kicks you out for that stress relief habit?" he asked.

"I've got money, Uncle Horatio knows I'm a slut so I can probably still have his storage room, and I'm sure I can get on as Xander's social secretary during the summers."  He stared him down then ate another bite of dinner.  "I do have to note here that she's never said anything about kicking me out for my stress relief problems.  She's said she wants me to quit working with Di because she thinks it'll get people after me like come after Xander.  Which is a reasonable worry but I know I'm not Xander and I can't live up to his reputation or moves.  I'm like his slightly less hip younger brother."  He shrugged. "I can live with that stigma."

Ray walked out of the house using the door to the beach so he wouldn't wake the owners, heading back to his car.  He found Xander standing there. "Didn't mean to wake you."

"Kinda hard not to with how upset you're making him again.  By the way, I already know how old Suzie was.  I consider that borderline at that age.  I wouldn't give Ray that young a stepmother."  Ray nodded, getting into his car and heading off.  Xander went back inside, smiling at Horatio, who was still asleep.  He walked into the office. "You keep being my assistant, you can have the car.  She kicks you out for being a slut, Horatio's already said you can still have the storage room.  You had better never have fans like mine or I will be finding out why and kicking your ass over it probably.  You should try to date that Sesra girl.  She's pretty, smart, and cute.  Plus she gives your ass hot looks when you walk past."  He grinned.  "Anything from the banks?"

"No, but mom said Ryan made one of the FBI agents take a run for his life."

"Cool.  I'll find out why later.  Anything else?"

Ray found the note.  "They need your reference file for the non-stolen stuff."  He handed that note over. "Uncle Horatio could use an update to his computer."

"He said I could only give him one present."  He shrugged and put that note on top of Horatio's inbox.  "Anything else?"

"Just one thing," he offered, handing over a note he had been passed at school. "I have no idea what to do about that.  And I'll get more lo mein for you two."

"Thanks, he does like it."  He looked over the note, then groaned.  "Horatio!"  He snapped awake and Xander waved the note.  "The mob wants your nephew to work for them."

He groaned and came in, taking the note to read it.  "No," he told Ray.  "I'd hate to have to arrest you."  Ray nodded at that.  "You're handing it over?"

"I am.  I'm going to school with two sons and about six daughters at the moment.  I'm not sure why they want *me* instead of someone in their own groups."

"You're more untouchable to the average cop because of your uncle," Xander said bitterly.  "This we will have a meeting about tomorrow, Ray.  Any other issues?"

"Can I install my new game in here too?"

Horatio shook his head.  "Work uses only, Ray.  Sorry.  Use Xander's for that."

"His is more ancient than yours, Uncle H."  He grinned. "You could use an update.  Oh, Mom said they weeded out all the stolen stuff.  They need the reference file when you come in tomorrow."

"I put the note on your inbox, on top of your calendar," Xander promised, taking a kiss.  "We're going to bed."  Ray grinned and nodded. "Lock up when you go."

"Sure."  He waved at his uncle.  "Shoo, let me get back to balancing all the checkbooks and stuff."  Horatio gave him a look.  "It earns me more use of the car."

"If Xander said it's all right I don't care."  He walked off, taking Xander to bed for real this time. The couch was nice but the bed was always better for sleeping in. "I heard you walk out.  Why?"

"Yelling at the stupidity of your brother.  Ray threatened to tell me how old Suzie was when she got pregnant if his dad didn't leave him alone."

"Technically underaged but she was on the streets and a runaway at that time."

"I know, which is why I'm considering it borderline at the moment.  I warned him about that."  He stole a kiss and snuggled down into the bed.  "Come rest, Horatio. I need sleep before I suck you off for breakfast."  Horatio smiled and laid down with him, letting his mind go over the family's problems while the rest of him slept. He'd have a good idea in the morning.

***

Horatio finished flipping through the binder, looking over at Eric as he came in with the boxes of remaining things.  He handed it over.  "There's things in there I hadn't seen before."

"They're in the safe at the bank," Eric assured him.  "He was planning on doing another auction this holiday."  He sat down with everything, the binder already open, taking the pictures they'd need and descriptions as well.  "Phil said to go ahead and do this since we're already doing the rest."  Horatio nodded at that.  "Why were they threatening him?"

"They wanted to sacrifice him so Angel could gain his skills," he offered quietly.

"That sucks."

"Cordelia also said he was being treated like a God now because of the sacrifice and that he'd fall if he didn't die.  Threatened that I'd leave him."

Eric gave him a harsh look.  "You leave Xander and I'm not going to work for you.  Speed and I will kill you and present your body to Xander so he'll quit crying and trying to slit his own wrists.  I love you like an uncle, H, but Xander's like my kid brother and he's Speed's son."

"I know," he agreed, smiling slightly.  "It'll never happen, Eric. Even Xander knows that now."

"Good.  'Bout time.  The kid's got the worst case of low self esteem about anything but his attraction of anyone I've seen."

"I know.  I'm still working on that.  He knows he's special and loved by me."  He smiled, looking at the box of things.  "How much of it did he keep?"

"Enough to need an escort back to Christie's, H.  When Danny left, I sent him home with pictures and a list.  He'll talk to Don about doing security for him again."  He gave him a sly look.  "You know, the convention's coming up...."

"We're all going," he promised dryly, rolling his eyes.  "You're the only one without enough leave time.  You need to not miss a day for the next three paydays."

"Can I borrow?"

"I'll try," he promised.  "How is Marisol?"

"She was pretty sick last night.  She said she'd pop around tonight."  Horatio nodded at that.  "I was adding weeks last night.  She'll be fertile during the convention too."

"We'll figure that out, Eric."

"Are you sure Xander won't relent on letting a doctor do it?"  Horatio shook his head.  "Why not?"

"People like the Watchers who would take any extra and use it," he said grimly.  Eric shuddered at that.  "He's very scared they'll try to get him that way.  The same as they would Willow through any donations Ryan may've done."

"I doubt he'd do anything like that."

"Me either," he admitted. He shrugged. "She and Xander have already talked about that.   He's the one insisting it be done the natural way.  I have my suspicions but I think he sees this as the only way I'll ever touch a woman again."  Eric nodded.  "He knows I won't need one."

"Yeah, but you were het for a very long time," Eric said dryly, smirking at him. "He knows you've still got urges since he does.  Especially when faced with Stella in Di's bikini."  Horatio let out a small whimper.  That had tested everyone's resolve not to jump the poor woman.  "Therefore, anytime you really want to touch a woman again, you'd better be prepared to be a daddy."

"One's enough for me and I do wonder where he gets these ideas."

"Willow," he said firmly, cracking Horatio up.  "You think I'm kidding?  Ask Wolfe."  He looked around.  "Ryan!"  He came walking in. "Tell him where Xander got his 'cheating' policy."

"Willow," he said with a small smirk.  "She caught you looking and knew you wanted another kid sometime.  She suggested to Xander that it'd be a good way to do that since he's still adamant about not leaving anything behind for the Watchers or Angel to use against you or him.  Kills two birds with one stone and this way you'll be okay as long as you don't end up with eight or nine kids."

Horatio shook his head. "Tell your wife I'm perfectly satisfied with Xander, I didn't need a woman, but it is nice to have another child.  Then try to make her see it's not necessary, Mr. Wolfe."

"Hey, I tried," he noted dryly.  "She's still worried that the two donations I gave to a sperm bank back in college may come back and hurt us when the Watchers use that against us by creating a child and holding it hostage."

"You did?" Eric asked.

"I was broke, Eric, and I drank myself stupid later that night since I felt like I sold my ass."  He looked at their boss again, shrugging a bit.  "I'm wondering if they've got a good reason to be paranoid."

"I think they might," he admitted.  "What happened with the FBI?"

"They asked me who the hacker was.  I told them to take a flying fuck on the Sears Tower, that my wife was cranky and pregnant.  He backed away slowly, then turned and ran, when I offered to let him talk to her to see if she was less cranky."   Horatio smiled.  "They're still working on it?"  That got a nod.   "That sucks."

"It does," Eric agreed.  "At least Xander doesn't have to worry about tuition and things."

"No, and he kept the ransom money locally," Horatio admitted.  "He's very not pleased with the banks and he's filing a counter to the order to freeze his funds today.  He's taking this very badly."

"Well, he didn't have it before.  He clearly doesn't want to go back to where his parents were.  It's really classical, Horatio."

"It may be, but I'm worried that he'll draw more attention to himself this way."

"If they ask how he got the money, all he's got to do is produce a few of them and let them tell the court.  They were tipping a stripper with something pretty."  He grinned.  "By the way, something pretty just got delivered to the front desk.  I caught the receptionist trying to hide it. IAB is still handling it even though they're wary of being around you right now.  They said you're in a bad mood and you scare Phil."

"I do not.  Most of the time," Horatio offered, heading off to butt into that as well.

"You really did?" Eric asked.  "That's such a normal college guy thing to do and I never pictured you like that, Ryan."

"Yeah, well, I did my fair share of frat parties my first two years too," he noted dryly.  "I wasn't always this uptight."

"You're not as uptight as you were when you first got here," Eric assured him.  "She's done good things for you."  He smirked.  "Want to help?"

"No thanks, I've got a double homicide and a suicide on my plate. Wish I could trade you.  This looks a lot easier."  He walked out, heading back to his lab.

Eric pulled out a stool and got back to work. It was an easy case but it was so BORING!

***

Xander walked off the plane, giving Don a meek and sorry look.  "Not my fault?" he offered, holding up the handcuffs.

"What did you do?" he asked as he pulled him over to take them off.

"Horatio thought I was teasing the girls on the beach by adjusting myself and he'd had a bad day at work.  Someone threatened to rape me in front of him.  He was making sure it couldn't happen and I would be a good boy."

"I heard about that night in the club from Danny," he noted dryly, walking him off.  "Case?"

"Security, like last time."  He grinned at the guards coming his way.  "Hi, guys."  They nodded.  "Are you my dutiful escort?"

"Yup.  I'm on suspension because I smacked Sheldon on the ass playfully.  He laughed but the head of the labs caught me and told my boss, who had me suspended for touching another guy.  She also told my dad so he's yelling at me daily."

"Can I talk to your dad?"

"Nope.  He'd shy away from you as soon as he realized who you are, Xan."  He held open the door, letting him walk in front of him.  "It's the gay thing, it'll die down soon enough."

"They don't like the Foundation?"

"Not really.  Not that I give a damn but not really.  I made my point really clear at the top of my lungs and brought in my girlfriend.  So now everyone thinks I'm bi."  Xander rolled his eyes.  "My boss really hates it but I don't care."

"I thought your boss liked Horatio."

"She does, but Horatio's not one of *her* guys.  I am."  He tapped on the security window.  "Jewel case, Harris?"  He flashed his badge.  "I'm his escort."

Xander stepped up, pulling out ID.  "Hi again."  He smiled.  "My third trip."

"You a jewelry salesman?"

"No, former stripper.  They tipped me a lot."  He shrugged and opened the case, checking it over.  "When did Horatio put in that?" he complained, looking at one thing.  "I thought I was keeping that to break apart if we had more problems."  He shrugged and tossed it into the box, relocking it.  He signed all the forms and took the second case, checking it out and then signing those forms.  He let Don get one while he got the other.  "Just think, this is after they weeded out the stolen stuff that had been sent to me," he teased.

Don shuddered.  "You poor thing.  Who was it this time?"

"Dru, Harmony, Cordy, her cheerleaders."

"Hold on, Cordy, your ex Cordy?"  He nodded, sighing a bit.  "Tell me she didn't turn."

"Yup and I staked her," he offered quietly.  "Them all really."  He let Don lead the way to the baggage claim, gathering his two bags.  "Cheline is expecting us tomorrow.  Bank drop?"

"Hotel.  They've got a safe."

"Cool."  He followed him out of the airport, heading for the car.  "So, what did you get since the last time I was up here?"

"A new Corvair."  He grinned at him.  "You?"

"I had the car at the hideyhole, which I'm letting Ray Jr. use as long as he does the secretarial crap around the house and balances my checkbook for me so I can't make more math errors."  Don snickered at that.  "I bought a new couch.  I was jumping up and down on it and it broke."  That got a louder snicker.  "Horatio called?"

"Danny told us."  He popped his trunk and let Xander put everything inside.  "You okay?" he asked quietly, leaning against his car.

"No, but I've been here before," he pointed out.  "I survived it then.  I'll do it this time since we were over long ago.  Plus it doesn't hurt that she wanted to kill me to hype Angel's powers or that she threatened all this stuff was because I was due to be a sacrifice and if I didn't die, everything would bottom out around me.  Including my husband leaving me.  We assured her that wasn't true."

"Anything else you wanna share?"

"I want Marisol to get pregnant very quickly," he said quietly, closing the trunk.  "So I don't have to be jealous.  I feel like it's pathetic."

"Your rules."

"Do you know what that clique in Britain would do if they got a kid that was related to us?" he hissed.  "How they'd use it?"  Don nodded.  "I can't risk that, Don. I really can't."

"I understand. You still could've said no."

"She wanted it more than she wanted to get better," he offered miserably.  He walked around to the passenger's side and got in. "At least she's not trying to steal him."

"No, she's not, that's a bonus of the whole situation."  He stroked down his arm.  "It'll be okay soon, Xander.  Cordy and Dru's wacky prophecy beside the point.  Marisol and the new baby beside the point.  All that.  Remember, Horatio loves you more than life.  He's proved it."

"I know.  I told Cordy that."

"Good.  Did you qualify it later?" he asked patiently.

"I told him if he made me tell a lie I'd kill us both."

"I can see you doing that really."  He started the car and backed out. "So, what's in there this time?"

"Stuff Dru and Cordy picked out.  Not all of it's tacky.  They had some good taste.  Some of the tackier crap I might keep so we can break it up and sell it in an emergency.  We're still debating that.  Horatio doesn't think it's necessary but I want a hedge fund, just in case."

"That's usually a good idea," Don agreed.  "Especially with the threat of them making everything bottom out around you, I'd be extra careful too."  Xander nodded, smiling at him. "He doesn't?"

"He thinks, even if it does happen, that it can't touch the stuff Grandfather left me."  He slumped down some. "I don't know anymore.  Right now I'm focused on this, getting the FBI off our asses, and getting what's mine back."

"They're still going?"

"Still have two of the three they originally had locked locked."

"Crap."

"Craptastic actually," Xander said bitterly.  "I've already filed something in open court.  One of them is my trust.  The other is some of the stuff that Grandfather left me.  It could take months, Don."  Don nodded, changing lanes.  "Is that lights behind us or am I having a stroke?"

"No, it's lights."  He pulled over, letting them pull up behind him.  He pulled out his badge, looking at the patrol guy.  "I'm on escort duty.  Is it vital at the moment?"

"Yes, sir.  Your passenger is on the no-fly list?"

"No I'm not. I just came in from Miami."

"It was a late addition?" he offered, shrugging.  "Not a clue why, sir.  They want you back at the airport."

"Fat chance," Xander sighed.  "They can come to me at my hotel.  I've had enough of the fucking FBI hating me for being gay and supporting other gay men."  The cop backed off.  "That's what this is about.  I support other gay men and I'm a happily married gay man.  They want me, they can come to my hotel and you can tell the bitches I said to bring their really fugly wigs too!"

"Calm down, Xander," Don ordered, rolling his eyes. He looked at the patrol guy.  "FBI or not?"

"FBI," he admitted. "They didn't say why, just that he was a new addition to the list and they wanted him back to talk to him."

"They can nibble my sac," Xander told him.

"Xander," Don said patiently.

"I'm sick and tired of them, Don!  So what if I'm gay!  Yay me, I take it up the ass and love it.  It makes me a stronger man."

Don looked at the patrol guy, who was trying not to laugh.  "Can you call and tell them to meet him at his hotel?"

"Sure, Detective Flack."  He radioed that in, getting a complaint back.  "Sorry, sir.  They're halfway there, Detective Flack has sensitive materials on him, he's on escort duty."

"It's jewelry for an auction," Xander called.  "I've got the paperwork from Miami if they need it."  He rested his head back against the seat again. "I'm sorry, Don," he sighed.

"No, I'd be throwing major fits too, Xander."  He patted him on the chest, the only safe place he could reach easily.  "Just calm down, nephew."

"Yes, sir."

The patrol guy listened, then looked at him. "You're suspended?"

"Yeah, I'm on the board of his gay charity and my boss hates that."

"Ah.  Pity.  You seem like a nice guy.  They said they'd meet you both back at that hotel, they wanted to look at this stuff...."

"They have no right to do that," Xander said in a sing-song voice.

"They think they do, sir."

Xander looked over at him, shaking his head. "I'm married to a CSI.  No they don't.  But that's okay, I'll tell them that myself."  That got a smile.  "Should I be expecting a stripsearch too?"

"I hope not, sir.  You seem nice enough."

"Until you fuck with what's mine," Xander agreed dryly.  "Thank you, officer. I know it wasn't you, you're just doing your job.  Please, feel free to run the other direction."  He smiled sweetly. "I'm about to smack the shit out of the FBI."

"Calm down," Don ordered again, patiently even.  He smiled at the officer.  "Thanks."

"Welcome, detective. I hope you get it worked out."

"Me too, I'd hate to have to sue the department with my girlfriend. Or move to Miami."  He started the car and headed off, going right to the hotel, with a stop through a drive-thru to give the Feebs time to get there.  He looked at the guy who was in charge.  He was in front and the others were cowering behind him.  "Let us get him checked in."

"Sure," he agreed, staring at Xander.  "Mr. Harris."

He looked at him. "Asslicker."  The agent sneered.  Xander flipped him off.  "You know I was actually in a good mood, even when my husband handcuffed me so I'd quit and let him have my son for a bit.  Pity you ruined it," he said, glaring now.  He checked in, smiling at the receptionist.  "Hola."

"Good morning, sir.  Name?"

"Harris.  I've also got safe reservations?"

"Yes, sir, I see that on here.  We'll come up to your room and get it for you.  Is that why they're here?"

"No, they're persecuting me for bing gay and sticking up for other gay men.  They think it's a terrorist activity to be gay."  She gave him an odd look.  "Really.  They've filed papers saying that supporting gay men with scholarships and things is a terrorist activity.  So I'm presently suing their asses.  This is just another salvo."

"That's fine, sir.  Can I make note of that?"

"Sure.  Not an issue.  The more the merrier according to my attorneys."

"Thank you, sir."  She typed that note in and a manager came over, letting her whisper in his ear.  He nodded so she finished signing him in.  "Security protocol."

"I understand," he sighed, nodding.  "Everything paid for?"

"Yes, sir, plus two hundred on the tab for the minibar and things."

"Thank you."  He smiled and took his keys, handing one to Don.  "Want help with the stuff?"

"I can get one of the security guys to escort me and the bellhop.  Just stay calm, Xander."

"I am, for now."  He looked at the suits, sneering again. "I'm going to my room. You can follow if you must.  That way your faulty thinking isn't put into the real press."  He walked off, heading for the elevator.  One of them got on with him so he stared at him.  "What?" he demanded.

"We could've settled this quietly if you hadn't filed the papers, Mr. Harris."

Xander snorted. "I heard that a month ago and yet two of my accounts are still frozen, my license is still frozen, I'm suddenly on the no-fly list?"  He stared at him then the elevator landed and he got off.  "Bet me quietly will do it this time," he said coldly, heading to his room.  He opened the door, slamming it after him.  Don had a key, he could let him in.  Xander went to call Horatio, finding him busy.  So he called Speed.  "Dad, me, the FBI just put me on the no-fly list and I'm in New York now.  They're here at the hotel.  So far I'm staying calm and Don's trying to keep me that way.  Pray really hard I stay calm, okay?"   He hung up and sat down, arranging himself to make the best impression of menacing he could.

***

Speed hung up.  "Um, Horatio!" he called, waving a hand.  "Slight issue."  Horatio glared at him. "The FBI was waiting on your husband in New York.  They've put him on the no- fly list?"  Horatio's growl came across the field to him.  "He's a bit pissed and Don is trying to keep him calm.  He said to start praying he stays calm.  It might be a long trip this time."

"No it won't be."  He looked back at their target.  "I'm sure it'll be fixed soon, Speed."  One way or another.

***

Xander looked over as Don walked in with the bellhop, taking his wallet out to tip him, earning a smile.  "Thank you, dear.  Put the bags in on the bed and the security cases in here please."  That got a nod and they did that.  He looked at Don.  "Long wait for the elevator?"

"They tried to confiscate them."

"Ah. Pity.  Kick the minions out," he told the head guy. "I'm not dealing with lesser beings today."

"Go," he ordered.  They retreated to the doorway but stayed inside.  "I didn't have you put on the no-fly list, Mr. Harris."

"Funny, the patrol guy said he was," Don said bitterly.  He sat down, looking at the cases.  "That's not ours," he noted.  Xander looked at him. "Ours had red handles."  He looked at the security guys, who pointed at the minions.  Don licked his lips and pointed at Xander.  "He's a former stripper, he's married to a cop, he's been gifted with shit against his will, that's why he's up here, and they're pissing off the guy who is a marksman and a slight expert in explosives.  You or them?"

"Them, sir," the security guys noted.  "Should we get it for you?"

Don looked at the head guy, who glared at the minions.  They took off with him to get the cases, bringing them back and opening them in front of them.  "Thank you," he snapped.  "Out!"  They ran.  He looked at the security guy then at the other two cases.  "Are they full?"

Xander nodded. "They're the two I had mailed."  He got up to unlock them, handing over the paperwork from Miami.  Then he started pulling stuff out.  The security guys' eyes bugged. "An ex who went psycho.  She was giving it to me so I'd feel like the God she was going to sacrifice me to."  He dumped out the rest and checked the invoice.  "We're missing some," he announced.  Don opened the other cases and poured them out.  "I made the invoice lists myself."

"Maybe Horatio kept out a few pieces or the baby helped," Don offered.

"No, sir, we did remove two that were slightly radiating to test them," one of the guards offered.  "They're in a private box for safety reasons."  Xander smiled at that.  "I hope you don't mind?"

"Nope, not in the least. I knew I put five hundred on the tab, not two.  It's fine.  They're probably from someone who had radiation treatments."  That got a nod and they left one guy there, taking the rest back downstairs.  Xander checked off the rest of the invoices, nodding.  "Only three pieces unaccounted for."

"You've got the broach."  Xander patted himself down and nodded, marking that off. "That is really ugly."

"That's why I wanted to break it up," Xander admitted.  He waved the head suit over, letting him look.  "That's the list from Miami, along with the list of stuff that was sent to me that ended up being stolen property and what had been done with that.  I will need copies of that for Cheline."

"That's fine, Mr. Harris.  Can you please calm down?"

"Nope.  You're annoying me and my planet wants to expel you like a kidney stone."  The security guy laughed.  "They froze my accounts for being gay and helping other gay men.  I'm about ready to move to Canada to get away from this idiocy down here."

"Miami would hate to lose your spouse," the head Feeb said, staring at him. "I'm not with them, kid."

"Do I care?" he snorted. "You can be as gay as Mary Poppins' penguin for all I care.  You're working for the same people.  They're sticking up for this and dragging their feet.  I'm not going to go away and they can lick my asshole and use plenty of tongue if they think I will."  The agent gave him a horrified look. "Ask me if I care."

"I was sent to straighten this mess out and to get you to drop the suit as soon as it is straightened out, Mr. Harris," he said, straightening up and looking at him. "I'm Deputy Director Fornell.  I head one of the branches in DC for special investigations."

"I've heard of you, you're an asshole but supposedly fair," Don admitted.

"I am," he agreed, smirking at him.  "I can also deal with your suspension, Detective.  Your father and I need to have a talk anyway."   He looked at Xander again.  "I know that this has been painful.  I know that you're angry. I also know that your first instinct is to fight back. Working with me is easier. We've managed to clear up everything but one item.  One of the people you gave a scholarship to last year does have terrorist ties."

"It was a scholarship to go to college," Xander said, looking pissed as hell.  He held his head, leaning forward.  "I doubt he's going to blow up the college, DD Fornell.  For all I care, he's going to learn how to suck cock at a frat house."  The man paled at that.  "So no, it's a *scholarship*.  He's gay, they don't like gays in the Middle East.  Even if his whole family were terrorists they probably wouldn't accept him if he was sleeping with another guy!  They put us to death over there.   In some places they use this little wire and a furry cuff to castrate us slowly and painfully.  I sincerely doubt he'd be accepted back in those circles."

"Which is working in your favor," he admitted calmly.  Xander looked at him. He could see the anger but on top was the starting of hopelessness.  Not what he wanted to see.  "As I said, I'm willing to work with you on this."

"I'm not going to do a background check for more than being a child molester," Xander said firmly.  "I could care less about anything else most of the time.  Caring about that stuff is my husband and most of the rest of the board. I'm not letting the FBI tell us who we can and can't award."

"I don't want you to.  There are some people who're worried that this sort is applying through these small scholarship funds to stay in the country illegally and cause dissent."

Xander stood up. "Prove it.  We require grade statements at midterms or we will rescind the grant."  The other man smiled at that.  "I can dig out the paperwork if you need it."

"We've already got a copy. Your financial manager was very helpful.  We're doing an update and check on him even as we speak.  However, there is a mention of a file on you, Mr. Harris.  That's what put you on the no-fly zone."

Xander glared at him. "This is about Sunnydale."  That got a nod. "Which part?"

"The part where your high school blew up and you were there."

Xander nodded. "Because that wasn't to save hundreds of lives," he noted dryly.  "Maybe you should get the film of what *really* happened."

"We did.  We're wondering how it got that far."

"Circumstances beyond our control.  We couldn't stop it in time."  Fornell nodded at that, smirking some.  "You wanted us to lay down and die?"

"No, I agree that it needed to be done.  Who planted the bombs to blow the thing attacking your graduating class up?"  The security guy edged away.  He looked at him.  "The thing attacking the graduating class was going to kill them all.  Someone planted an explosive device to get rid of the thing attacking the graduating class and their families."  He looked at Xander again.  "Well?"

"More than one person.  I'm not saying another word about it. I know all about the statute of limitations."

He pulled the boy into the bedroom, closing the door.  "Level with me, kid.  You're not in trouble for this but you are under watch.  Especially since it was noted that you helped with a later insurgence movement."

"They were trying to torture and maim innocent creatures and ones that weren't. Plus they were trying to take over the world."

"We like that about you guys.  So, who did the bomb?"

"If I tell you anything I'll be in a cell so fast I'd never get to see my husband."

"I'm not going to say a word."

"You can't make that promise.  You vowed to the law."

Fornell sighed, looking at him.  "Okay, let's try it this way.  Are you a danger to the current administration?"

"Are they using demonic forces to taint, capture, kill, maim, or torture others?  Will it impact my family directly or anyone in my non-immediate family, like the lab people?"

"I hope not.  I also hope we're not consorting with demonic elements.  Presently."

"Regan did."  He shrugged.  "As long as those qualifications are met and made, then no.  Anything that comes near my family is in trouble however."

"All right, I can see that.  What about Miss Rosenburg?"

"She's pregnant with her second child.  You come near her, you're touching on my family."

"Is she a danger?"

"Under those same circumstances."

"If I can promise to keep it out of Miami?"

"You can't promise that. You're not in charge of that and even if you were they wouldn't listen," Xander said wisely, staring him down, weight cocked to one side, arms crossed over his chest now.  "Why?  Why are they worried about me and Willow?  Why not Buffy?"

"She's powerless."

"Not really.  She's got the skills, just not the benefits anymore."  Fornell moaned.  "We all have the skills.  What's really behind this?"

"A concubine," he admitted quietly.  "She wants you and your sort gone."

"She can tongue me too."

Fornell grimaced.  "Can you not give me those mental images, kid?"

"No."  He smirked at him. "You tell her the truth.  It comes near me and mine, I react. I react strongly and use deadly force if necessary.  It stays away from me and mine, and we're fine with me ranting and complaining to those who already knew."

"Like Detective Flack?"

"He's my uncle by marriage."

"I saw that."  He quirked an eyebrow up. "Not the point."

"He knew, I had to clue him in once upon a time."

"Okay," he agreed quietly.  "That should clear up everything."

"Once everything is cleared up, my accounts are back, I'm off the stupid list, all that stuff, then I'll withdraw my suit."

"We'd like a sign of good faith."

"So would I but I'm dealing with the government.  They screw over people for a living."  He opened the door and walked out.  "He thinks one of the guys we gave a scholarship to was a bad guy," he told Don. "They're checking on him now."

"The other stuff?"

"Not a clue yet."  He sat down, watching Fornell say something into his cellphone.  "DD Fornell, next time go through my spouse.  He's the calm one.  It'll go easier.  I'm the hothead for all that he's got the red hair."

"We sent someone down there to talk to him but one of the junior members of the team ran him off."  He came out, hanging up and sliding his phone back into his jacket pocket.  "I'll start the removal process tonight, Mr. Harris.  Good luck with your auction."

"If this taints the name of the Foundation, all bets are off," Xander assured him quietly.  "Am I fully understood?"

"You are.  I will try not to do that."

"The idiots who started this?" Don asked.

"Gone.  Alaska, Kansas.  Idaho."

"They still have their jobs?"

"They're on permanent probation.  Next time they fart wrong, they're gone," Fornell assured him.  "With the current administration we couldn't outright fire them."  Xander nodded at that. "Thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Harris."

"Next time, come sooner, go through Horatio, and don't fuck with what's mine," he said simply.  "It'll go much smoother."

"I'll put that into the report."  He walked out, heading down to the car to chew the two agents a new one.  He knew all he needed to know about the boy.  He was dangerous when touched wrong.  His family was very important to him, and he would kill them all then laugh as they shot him for doing it.  Some people in DC needed to be wearing a vest for the rest of their short lives.

Xander repacked the cases and signed the paperwork, sending them off with the hotel security guy.  Then he snuggled against Don's side.  "I said we'd only do a background deep enough to make sure they hadn't done anything like child molesting."

"Works for me," Don agreed quietly.   "We'll get through this and my father."

"You're welcome in Miami, Don, you know that.  Horatio would love to have you closer."

"I know, but it sucks."  He shrugged. "I like my city."

"I like your city too, even if it does have snow."  Don chuckled at that, giving him a squeeze.  "Think we should warn someone down there?"

"I sent a text message to Eric for your man.  Are they going to fix it?"  Xander nodded.  "When?"

"He said soon.  When they do get everything fixed, I'll drop the suit."

"Good, works for me."  He gave him a squeeze.  "What's wrong?"

"I'm so fucking bored," he sighed.

"Start back to college a few classes at a time next semester."

"I want to but I have no idea what I'm doing.  Ray Jr. has more of an idea of what I'm doing than I do."

"Sometimes that happens, make him your assistant."

"I already did.  It's giving him privileges to my car from the hidey spot."  Don smiled at that. "Did they tell you about the jerky?"

"Yup and I quit eating it before the test.  It came out okay."  He gave him another squeeze.  "Hungry?"

"Starved.  I had Horatio for breakfast before Di brought the baby over."  Don laughed at that.  "I did, he was good!  He's probably cranky by now, but he was good then!"

Don snickered, hugging Xander tightly against him. "Never change, Xan.  The world would miss you."

"Did Danny get in trouble for the clubbing stuff?"

"Nope, Stella and Mac told him to.  He's been a horny little guy recently and they've been too tired to do anything but snore.  It got it out of his system so it's all good between them."

"Good, I didn't want to get him in trouble."  He yawned. "They wore me out."

"Letting out the anger can do that.  You go ahead and nap, I'll hang out to make sure you're okay."  Xander nodded, getting up and heading into the bedroom while Don turned on the tv, hitting the pay-per-view stations.  He hadn't gotten to see any good movies recently.

***

Horatio looked up from his paperwork the next morning.  "You wanted?" he asked the obvious agent standing there.  No one else wore that sort of bad suit around him.

"Two things really," DD Fornell offered as he walked in and shut the door behind him.  "The government wants to apologize greatly for screwing with your husband.  There's a great many people who are now very sorry and thinking about retirement."

"Is it fixed?" Horatio asked.

"Mostly.  There's still a few things that'll take a few days to rescind.  Things like the no-fly list."

"I see. And the other?"

"We wanted to know who your hacker was."

"No comment."

"See, the reporter told us," he offered, moving closer. "But we don't know how she got involved."

"The reporter?" Horatio asked, looking at him.  "Ryan Wolfe reported it to her so you couldn't do this in the dark."

"No, we knew about her.  She's a ruthless bitch when it comes to a story.  I can appreciate that in a woman, too bad she's a reporter.  No, the hacker.  How did the hacker get involved?"

Horatio shrugged. "As far as I know it was a favor."

"I see.  Do you know who the hacker is?  Because you're shielding a wanted felon."

Horatio smirked. "I doubt you'd catch them. You haven't in the past."

"No, we have, but we can't prove it," he noted dryly. "Not that we disagree with your husband hacking us."

"My husband only uses our computer for video games."

"I see."  He nodded once.  "That's fine. The person is safe?"  Horatio nodded. "They won't do it again?"

"As long as you don't give them a reason to."

"Instruct them that they are not to come near another governmental database, Lieutenant.  If they do, they can be subject to up to five years in jail and a ten thousand dollar fine per offense, including this one if it happens again."

"I'll make sure they're aware of the risks."

"Thank you." He gave him a wry smile. "You married a hell of a man. Stood up to me, stood up to Flack's boss, stood up to my minions when they tried shit.  You've got one hell of a tiger."

Horatio smirked. "You have no idea."

"It's probably better that way.  By the way, he did promise to do a background check on the winning scholarship finalists to make sure there's nothing too horrible in their pasts."

"That's fine with me.  I can easily agree to that and I know Taylor was going to suggest it."

"Good.  Any chance your spouse will join you here?"

"He was going to be a profiler before this all started."

"He might be a good one after he got done pissing off everyone within ten miles.  I hope he keeps going."  He nodded politely and left.  "I'll let you know when things are done," he called as he walked off.

"You do that," Horatio agreed quietly, getting back to his real job.  He could check on his boy later.  His phone rang and he smiled.  "Caine."  He smirked at the voice on the other end. "No, Frank, they were here to tell us it was partially solved and the rest was being solved.  I don't know who he was," he admitted at the question, "but he did say Xander threatened him and impressed him by doing so."  He smirked. "Yes, Frank, I do know what I've got in him."  He hung up and went back to his paperwork a bit happier this time.

Animals in Miami.

Xander looked up from his reading as the suite's door opened, grinning at his cohorts.  "Hi, guys.  Good thing the convention was right after the mess with the auction, huh?"  He got up to give hugs.  He grinned at Eric.  "I'm sorry they're still calling you Pookie."  He had called Eric that on a scene after a long, sleepless night and the officers had spread it around.  "You can tell them I rescinded your cute name privileges if it helps."

"It won't," he complained, flopping down.  "This is nice."

"Thank you," Xander said modestly, smiling at them.  "The department was only going to give you guys thirty a night for rooms."

Speed shuddered.  "The rooms in this place start at one-twenty," he complained.   He sat down and pulled Calleigh down next to him.  They didn't have to hide among the family.

"Yeah, but the Chief said you guys could make up the rest," he said fondly, smirking at his mate.  "Then he looked right at me and suggested I could make up the difference as well."

"Thank you, Xander," Calleigh said with a sweet smile.  He pointed at Horatio.  "You paid for it, Horatio?"  He nodded.  "Wow.  Thank you."

"Welcome."  He looked at his mate, then sat down, letting him curl up in his lap.  "What did you do earlier?"

"I went down to register the whole group.  Where's Ryan and Willow?"

"Down in the restaurant having lunch with the cranky ones," Speed offered.  "Toddy and Eric both came."  Xander beamed at that. "The hotel has babysitters, right?"

"Of course.  Bonded and background checked, I already asked for Toddy."  He smiled at his mate, taking a kiss.  It had been two weeks since they'd seen each other.  "Did you miss me?"

"I did.  No one was making a mess at the house," he said, smiling at him and stroking his back.  "Behave."

"I am.  All the convention packets are on the table in front of you.  Your badges are there as well.  Unless Horatio drags me along, I'm not allowed to do anything but the dinners with you guys.  They suggested I could go shopping."  He beamed.  "I told them I've done plenty of that already."  Speed moaned.  "Good shopping.  Birthday and Christmas present shopping.  I'm nearly done except for the new baby and to see if I should buy Marisol a dual present or not."  Eric shrugged. "She's still not sure?"

"Not at the moment.  She's pouting about the missed month though."

"No she's not," Xander said dryly.  "She'll be here for two days at the end of this."  He grinned.  "That'll give her enough time to sightsee too."  He beamed.  "She pouts nearly as well as I do."

"She does," Eric agreed like only a little brother could.  "Any other surprises?"

"Dinner tonight isn't really dinner, it's the greeting snacks thing so I thought we'd either find friends or eat together."

"Either's good," Speed agreed, looking at Calleigh, who smiled back.  "I know you've got some buddies coming."  She nodded.  "Xander, seen Abby yet?"

"I did.  Her boss and Fornell were talking in the lobby about how he hoped they didn't run into me.  She's squealy and bouncy, she wants to talk to me.  Fornell was telling him about the badass asshole he had to deal with over the gay thing, as he called it, and Gibbs asked if he'd seen the stripper son of one of the officers from Miami.  Fornell got the clue that I'm the same guy and told him, making him groan in mental agony."  He looked at Horatio, who grimaced. "She's not going to steal me."

"No, she won't," he agreed firmly, taking a deep kiss.  "What did the suit want?"

"Oooh, strong words from the man who wears one every day," Xander teased, playing with his shirt.

"It's a state of mind," Horatio assured him dryly, smirking at him.  "What did he want, Xander?"

"To apologize greatly for the person who restarted the two things, especially the no-fly classification.  They're apparently very sorry and fired.  He's working to get it rescinded again.  His boss is not amused."

"If I was his boss, I'd be cleaning out the others," Horatio admitted.  "That doesn't usually lead to amusement for me either.  It will be fixed?"

"Yup. Or else I'm driving down."  He snuggled in again.  "Why did Eric come up?"

"His mommy's got a hot new chick," Eric said, smirking at him.  "They wanted some time alone."

"She doesn't like him?"

"She adores him, but they wanted the weekend off being mothers.  She wanted to jump her in the workroom on top of the fabric."

"Ah, a good reason," Xander decided, grinning at them.  "That's fine.  Are they having a real lunch?"

"Fussy kids on the plane up," Calleigh assured him.  "Both of them and the mommy."  Xander beamed at that.  "Have we seen Aiden and the guys from New York?"

"I've gotten a text message from her and I heard her squeal Don's name and pounce him when I was getting stuff.  I left them a message telling them we're up here.  They're only two rooms down."

"NYPD, open up," someone called, pounding on the door.

Horatio walked over, pulling out his badge.  "Miami-Dade PD.  They're up the hall."  The cop gave him a confused look.  "What?"

"Sir, we have a message from our Chief," he said, handing it over.  "And from the FBI. They would like to talk to one of your people, a Mr. Harris."

"He's my spouse and he's inside.  They can come up and talk in front of the rest of the family," he said patiently.  That got a nod and the officer ran off.  "Thank you."  He read the note, then snorted.  "Xander, call the front desk and get that first suit up here."

He reached over for the phone, calling over.  "Can you please connect me with DD Fornell?  Yeah, FBI suit guy with Gibbs earlier. Thanks."  He waited through the hold music while they paged him and tried his room.  "It's Harris, your bosses are on their way up.  Why?"  He listened to the splutter.  "We're in the Magnolia suite.  Get up here.  My husband said so."  He hung up and looked at him. "Bad or good?"

"Probably more stupid people," he offered as he came over.  Someone tapped more politely and Speed got up to answer it this time since Horatio looked comfortably cuddled.  He looked at Aiden and nodded her inside with the rest of the New York crew.  "Is anyone working?"

"We're on call," Sheldon said proudly.

"Then again, crime usually falls during conventions.  Not many wanna be so stupid ta get us on our weekend free with our brethren with a city full'a cops," Don said dryly, hugging him.  "Hey, Speed.  Where's Ryan and Willow?"

"Downstairs with the babies.  We're waiting on the FBI to come up and do their thing again."  He let Fornell in when he tapped, then the one after him. "You are?"

"I should ask the same.  Who are all these extra people?"

"My family," Xander said, glaring at him.  "DD Fornell.  Thank you for coming."

"Not a problem.  This sucks."  He looked at his boss.  "I wasn't told you were in town, Director."   He got glared at and glared back. "Mr. Harris, this is my Boss, the Director of the FBI."  Xander waved from his comfortable spot, looking totally blase and like this was nothing special.  "Director, this is Mr. Harris, his husband, Lieutenant Caine of Miami's felony crime lab.  The rest of his family is most of the crime lab and most of Manhattan's crime lab."  He sat down.  "I'm still working on it, Mr. Harris."

"Why should you?"

"Because persecuting me due to my sleeping with my husband and supporting gay men who're going to college is wrong," Xander noted patiently, like he was talking down to him.  Horatio gave him a look.  "You go for it. I'm hoarse from the repeats.  I'm going to tape my next one and just turn it on."

"You came into a great deal of wealth suddenly, young man," the director noted. "You also sold a minor biological weapon to the military."

"Technically, they took it from Ryan Wolfe, who's downstairs.  Yeah, it's what I use to kill roaches when they come in from the beach."  The director glared at that.  "It was an accidental creation since I'm a crap cook."  Fornell coughed at that.  "Want some breath spray?"

"No thank you, I got warned already."  He looked at him.  "I heard something interesting earlier. You're the reason Abby's so happy."  Xander smirked and nodded. "Why?"

"That was before I gave up stripping for Horatio.  She saw my act, liked it, we had some fun, I saw who were watching her.  Gibbs burst into her room, interrupting the first sex I'd had in months, and I let her use me to make them prove they wanted her more."

"Interesting.  I'd like to hear the full story sometime, Harris."

"Ask them."

"I did, I got a no comment from two of them and Gibbs complaining about you as a stripper."

The director cleared his throat. "You're a *stripper*?"

"Was.  I went by the name Darkness down in Miami.  Night and Vex in Montreal for a few months."  He gaped.  Xander smirked.   "Yes, I attract serial killers.  I helped them capture many of them and then Horatio captured my heart and I gave it up for him.  As for my *inheritance*.  That was from my grandfather.  My paternal grandfather.  The same as Detective Flack is his nephew by marriage.  He got some too.  That's where the foundation came from.  Anyone who could read the papers or the court papers or even the gossip column could've told you that."

"This *foundation*," he sneered.  "Does what?"

"Gives scholarship and research grants to gay men," Mac said, staring him down.  He backed off and he shrugged.  "Xander's asked me to sit on the board in case anything military or anyone with prior service comes to us, that way I can evaluate it.  Then again, I have watched over Xander in the past when a serial killer came for him and Horatio's nephew.  We helped them with that situation.  It led to some modeling work for both boys."

"He's how old?" the director demanded.

"Twenty-two," Xander said dryly.  "How old do I look?" he asked Stella.  "I thought I looked really old this morning."

"Not really.  Kinda tired."

"I can't sleep alone anymore."  He glared at the director, making him take a step back. "Thanks to you I've had to bother them when someone tried to kidnap me twice instead of my actual family.  I'm safer in Miami but thanks to you and your narrow mind and the dildo you're wearing at this moment being in wrong, I've been put in danger.  That suit stops when it's all fixed for good.  No sooner.  Also," he said, leaning forward. "I know exactly who sent me shit, Director.  Including two of your other assistant directors."  He paled at that.  "You're playing in my sandbox and I don't like it.  I could care less that you hate yourself for the..."  He looked.  "I'd guess four inch wide one you've got up you," he said, staring back into his eyes.  "Just because you hate yourself for liking it like that doesn't mean everyone does.  If you don't like me because I'm gay, ignore me.  It's not like you can prove I've done anything wrong. I've cooperated with everyone who's ever thought that.  From Horatio's Internal Affair's department on.  They helped me find some of the people who sent me shit."  He got up and walked off, coming out of the bedroom with a velvet box.  "By the way, hand this back to the head of the CIA's covert agency for me and tell him hell no I'm not working for him, especially not as a sex toy."  He blanched further and fled. "It had better be fixed!" he called after him.  "Or else I'm going to have to start fighting back for real!"  He slammed the door and went to calm down.  Someone tapped on the bedroom door.  "Give me ten."

"Nope."  Eric walked in.  "What was that?"

"The truth.  They want me to sex-stun someone so they can get information from them."  He looked at him.  "I'm fucking tired of this.  I'm going home after this. I love New York, but I want to be home."  Eric nodded, leading him back out.  Horatio let him into his lap. "I'm sorry I threw the fit, family.  I just couldn't hold it any longer."

"Not a problem," Fornell admitted. "You're sure he was wearing one?"  Xander looked at him and nodded.  He smirked. "Thank you, son."  He walked off, going to make a few calls.  "Tom, Tobias.  I just watched another round in the Harris fights.  My director came to New York to ask him about being gay.  Which is odd considering Harris says he's taking it himself.  He said he's wearing one at this moment."  He smirked.  "Thank you.  No, I'm staying to watch Gibbs' team.  They're still in danger.  Yeah, he's here. He's married to a lieutenant.  Of course they're here.  His whole family is here, including his son.  Thank you, Tom." He hung up and went to tell Gibbs his horrified problem was here. "Jethro?"  He looked up from his reading the activities board.  "I just ran into Mr. Harris.  He's having some problems with my Director."

"Why?"

"They hate him because he's gay."

"He's gay?" he asked.  Tobias Fornell smirked and nodded.  "Since when?"

"Since his lieutenant captured his heart, his words.  They're married."

"Interesting."  He smirked at him and went to share that good news with Tony.  They hadn't been at the last convention so this worry hadn't come up then.  He found him and Abby browsing the sale tables.  "I heard something about someone Abby wants to see."  Tony tensed up.  "He and his husband are here with most of their family."

Abby looked at him. "Xander's married to a guy?"  He nodded. "Wow.  Who?"

"His lieutenant."

"The hotty redhead?"  Gibbs smirked at that description.  "He's got good taste.  Nice body under those suits of his."  He growled lightly and she beamed. "I still prefer what I've got."  She smiled at Tony, pinching him.  "See, I told you to relax. Now you're all stressed out and no masseuses open probably."

"He'll get his massage, the same as you will," Gibbs said in her ear, making her blush.  "We'll try to meet up with him later tonight, Abby.  Just be careful.  Remember, that person still threatened you."  She nodded, hugging him then moving on.  He smirked at his boy, who shrugged. "Still worried?"

"Not as much.  How did you hear?"

"He's the one Fornell is trying to get free of the bias issues."

"Ah."  He smirked at that.  "Good luck."

"I saw his director going for a quick run like he had his nightstick stuck the wrong way," Gibbs offered quietly.  Tony smirked at that.  "I should call Ducky."

"You should call Ducky anyway.  You know how he worries when we're out of town, boss."  He winked and walked off to help Abby pick up stuff.  He heard a baby's squeal and looked back.  "Holy God, Abby.  Look."  She looked and 'awwed'.  "Is that not the spitting image of that brat?"

"Oh, he's so cute!" she squealed, going over to see him. "Hi."   She knelt in front of him.  "What's your name, cutey?"

"Eric."  He sucked on his finger for a minute, looking at her, then he carefully moved closer and hugged her chest, smooshing his head.  "Pretty and nice."  He cuddled in, letting her pick him up.

"Eric!" a guy yelled.

"He's here," Abby called, grinning at him.  "Hi, Abby Scuito, NCIS."

Ryan stared, then beamed.  "Ryan Wolfe, CSI, Miami.  I work with his second father, Horatio Caine."

"So that is the baby Harris?" Tony asked.  Ryan nodded, smirking at him. "Then you know about her and him....."  Ryan nodded again.  "Where might they be?"

"Upstairs in the Magnolia suite.  Come on up.  Willow, Toddy?"  They waved from the elevators.  "Come on.  It'll be fine."  He led them over there.  "Willow, these are two very nice Feds who Xander played with the last time we took him to a convention."

"And I see the baby Xander found a new fan," she teased.

"Does he always chest dive?" Tony asked.  Willow groaned and nodded, getting on the elevator with their son.  "You've got good taste, Eric," he assured him, getting on after Abby.  He texted the boss, getting back an okay. "McGee's still got the boss's phone.  He'll tell him where we are.  I told him you got adopted by the baby Darkness."

"He'll hopefully never strip like his daddy did," Ryan offered.

"What's he doing now?" Abby asked.

"Running the Patrick Benis foundation."

"Ah," Abby said, nodding wisely.  "I wish him the best of lucking getting out of that without a hacker." She looked at Willow, who shrugged slightly.  "Were I someone like, oh say, Methusela or even VampyBiter, I'd probably hack their system and take out the primary file.  It's what's keeping it going.  All the presents."

"He was a great stripper," Ryan defended.

"Yeah, he got some from some of our guys down there," Tony agreed.  "He got Abby because of that.  Gibbs nearly shot him because he and Abby were having fun."  Ryan laughed at that.  "Seriously.  We burst in there because she was screaming her head off in pleasure."

"The boss hadn't had any in a while then," she defended.  "He couldn't recognize the difference.  He can now."

"Good, that's always a good thing," Willow agreed with a small blush.  She led the way off the elevator, using her card key. "We're here and we brought people the baby Xander adopted."  She let the kid go, watching as he crawled over to have the bigger Eric cuddle him.  Danny tickled him, earning an instant fan too.  She got out of the way, letting Ryan in first.

"Now I know he's your son, he's got your good taste," Don teased. "Hi, Abby."

"Hi."  She smiled and kissed Xander on the cheek.  "I wanted to catch up with you since I heard you were here.  Plus I figured that would be safer than the person who wants to kill me being around because you had some very heavy guards."

"I still do," he promised, taking his son back.  "I like her too, Eric. She's very snuggly."  He kissed him and handed him down the couch to Stella, making him squeal and chest dive happily into hers.

"Hey!" Stella complained, handing him to Mac.  "Not nice, Eric."

"I'm being good," bigger Eric complained.

"You weren't the Eric trying to dive down my shirt."

"I'd offer but you're taken."  She threw a pillow at him, letting him catch it.

"Welcome to our family, we're an odd bunch," Xander told Tony, getting a grin.  He grinned at Abby again. "You're right, we should catch up.  You missed my last performance; it caused a riot and everything."

"Awwww.  I just got told you gave it up for your husband.  Who I'm hoping is the guy you're sitting on.  He looks like I remember him to be."  Horatio nodded, shaking her hand.  "Do you take good care of him?  He deserves someone to take very good care of him."

"I do, I even let him spoil me now and then."

"Good," she agreed happily, hugging them both.  "I'm on the ballistics panel tomorrow, Xander.  You?"

"They won't let me, I'm only a spouse, even though I've got a good hand with them," he noted dryly.  He looked at Calleigh.  Then at Willow.  "Did you remember to do the pickup or should I?"

"You should," she said flatly, walking into the bathroom.

Xander nodded, smiling at Ryan. "It'll be okay."  He nodded, going to chase after her.  He looked at Tony, then at Abby.  "I've got to bring up an exemplar for her."

"That's fine, I don't care.  I don't nark because you're a nice guy and would never hurt anyone who wasn't hurting what's yours."  She grinned at Horatio again, getting a nod.  Xander said a few quiet words and pointed, and a large duffle bag appeared, making Calleigh scramble to get up and get into it.  "Oooh," Abby said, going over to look. "I haven't seen one of those!  Tony, come see!"

Tony smiled.  "Lunch tomorrow?  It's right after her panel."

"Sure.  They'll be lecturing about being in the field."  Horatio groaned at that.  "It's good, baby. You do so good at that of course they want you to teach."  He kissed him, making him a happier man.  "Remember, the owner wants those back, ladies."  Someone pounded on the door and Don got up to get it.  Gibbs walked in.  Xander pointed.  "I had to bring up an exemplar match for Calleigh to use tomorrow."

"That's fine, Mr. Harris."  He smirked at him.  "Should we worry about roving orgies this time?"

"I don't think I'm stripping," he said, looking at Horatio, who shook his head.  "See, I'm not stripping, it's all good."  Gibbs smirked at that. "Abby and I are doing lunch tomorrow."

"That's fine.  I'm not jealous, presently."  He walked over to pull Abby away from the guns.  "You can play tomorrow. You wanted to go shopping today."  She smiled and nodded, helping Tony up so he could go with her.  "Thank you.  We'll see you tomorrow."  He let them out, taking them downstairs so he could show them they were still his and then he'd let them shop after they napped.

Xander grinned at Horatio. "See, no reason to be jealous."

"No, there's not," he agreed, taking a deeper kiss.  Eric crawled over to cuddle between them. "Jealous are we?" he asked dryly, cuddling the baby with him. "He missed you."

"I missed him and I'm going to flame the asshole of the FBI if they don't fix this."  Horatio nodded that he could like that. "I'm coming home after this one way or another, Horatio.  I'm tired of being kidnaped and looked at with pity."

"Monroe said she's sorry about that," Danny offered.  "She's got a broken leg so she's at home."

"I didn't push her down the stairs for her comment about me going back to women fixing that stuff," Xander shot back, looking at him.

"'Scuse me?" Don asked, raising a finger slightly.  "She said what?" he asked with a cruel smirk.

"She told him that if he went back to women it might stop that kidnaping and the presents and stuff," Danny told him. "Either that or he needed to do one really bad turn on the poles to turn them off because once a stripper, always a prostitute."

"That was the second time we ran into each other," Xander agreed. "Where were you lurking?  I never did figure that out."

"I was trailing her because I knew you were in the office and she's got issues with strippers."  Xander rolled his eyes and cuddled his son.  Mac coughed so Danny looked at him. "I told you about the first one and asked you to keep her away from him, Mac."

"I tried," he assured everyone.

"Him and me both," Stella agreed, smiling at Don.  "We kept it from you so you didn't rip her head off and piss down her neck."

"That's an idea," he muttered.  He slumped down some.  "Mac, she tried to insinuate to my girlfriend that I'm gay.  Again."

"I had a talk with her about that too.  This time I'm having an administrative talk with her," he promised, sitting down.  "You okay?"

"Yeah, she knows all about that stuff.  I told her and she saw all the paperwork anyway."

"You're still with Delilah?" Calleigh called over.  "I like her, Don.  She's a nice lady."

"She is," he agreed happily. "She puts up with me and with Xander."  He looked at Horatio.  "The stuff that didn't sell got broken up and put into the safe.  That way he's got a hedge fund in case something happens."

"We don't need it."

"We do, dear. I'm going to need it someday," Xander reminded him, smoothing over his chest.  "Just drop it.  It's not that much," he said quietly, staring into his eyes.  Horatio nodded, leaving it there for now.  Xander knew he'd come back to it when they were alone.  He kissed the top of his son's head.  "Daddy missed you, Eric," he said quietly.

Eric beamed at him.  "Love you too, daddy."  He got down and went to poke Toddy until he was put down so he could play with the only other baby in the room. "Toys!" he demanded.

"Son, you ask, you do not demand," Xander ordered, looking at him.  Eric pouted.   "Apologize."

"Torry.  Toys please?" he asked with Xander's own cute grin.  Xander got up and went into the bedroom, coming out with a big bag.  "TOYS!" he shouted, digging into the bag.

Willow came out of the bathroom, looking at the source of the noise.  "That was loud, Eric," she chided gently.  "Try not to scream."

"Toys," he said, holding one up with a reverent hand.  It was a red fire truck.

She sniffled. "I can see that.  Let's play with the fire truck."  She hugged him, getting down to play with him.

"I knew he'd like that," Xander said, sniffling a bit himself.  Horatio gave him a squeeze.  "I'm okay."  He looked at Ryan, who was staring at him.

"Don't ask, Wolfe, you'll want to revive them and kill them again," Speed offered.  "I still do."  He got down there to play with the baby.  Not that he hadn't at home while Xander had been gone but playing with firetrucks was a guy thing and Willow was many things, but not a guy.

Xander got up and snuck into the bedroom, coming out with a nudge for Ryan and something was handed to him, then he handed Willow something with a nudge.  She looked inside the bag then smiled and took out the toys for Toddy, making him squeal and press on the musical keys.

"Noisy toys," big Eric moaned.  "No noisy toys.  They'll drive you insane!  Xander!"

Xander beamed.  "Every kid should have at least one noisy toy."

"Most of us had the pots and pans," Calleigh agreed, peeking over the back of the couch.  She finished putting up her care package, then hiked it into the room she wanted.  Speed got up to put his bag in there.  All the other adults put their things in their room and came back to play with the kids.  They could be grown ups later.

Ryan looked in his bag and blushed, going to put that in there with their things.  Xander had good taste in big boy toys too.

***

Xander woke up suddenly, sitting up gasping, looking around the room.  A warm hand came up to stroke his back, a familiar hand.  It cut through the nightmare of being left alone.  He slumped, holding his head, then realized the hand was still going.  He turned, finding Horatio watching him.  "You're still awake?"

"You've been having problems sleeping according to Danny.  I thought it might be nightmares."

"Them, the bed's too cold and big, and I'm alone."  He curled up on his chest, letting him sooth him. "You should rest. You have things to do tomorrow."

"So do you."

"Play with the kids."

"That's one of the most important jobs in the world, Xander.  Never discount it," he offered quietly, going back to stroking him.  "You can rest. I'm still here.  You're not alone. The bed's warm and you're being cuddled."  Xander nodded, closing his eyes and drifting off.  He smiled at the first snore.  Just like his son.  He let himself drift off holding him.  It had been mutual.  Even in Miami, the bed was way too cold.

***

Horatio walked out of his last panel of the day, looking around.  No husband.  No Speed and no husband.  He looked at Eric, who shrugged.  He knew what he was looking for.  Instead he headed for the desk, going to check the messages.  He found one from Speed.  Then he groaned and went to find Mac, handing it over wordlessly.

"Yeah, we've had some problems with her. She wants him to be straight," he admitted, handing it back.  He pulled out his phone, calling Sheldon since he was out on a call.  "Go find Xander, she has him again."  He heard the report and groaned.  "She's got him in handcuffs and is dragging him around to buy him somber, guy-like clothes.  That's the call Sheldon went out on since a kidnaping is a felony."  He hung up.  "He's got the officers around him to rescue your mate now."  He grinned. "Sheldon said he caught sight of him and started to kick up a fit about green being a manly color and he could so wear green."

"Green..." Horatio trailed off.  "She's got weapons, Mac."

He called Sheldon back.  "She's armed and dangerous this time.  Green is a code.  Tell the guys."  He hung up and headed for the front of the hotel, going to take Horatio to retrieve his husband.  Halfway to the car, Sheldon called back.  He answered it and listened, then nodded. "Thank you, Sheldon.  He's safe."  Horatio sighed in relief.  "Sheldon wanted to know what to do with all the crap she bought him."

"Donate it," Horatio sighed, walking off shaking his head.  He turned around.  "How did she get him in a hotel full of officers and how does she know him?"

"She saw him during Di's show and thought it was a shame a virile young man like him is gay, thinks the same thing about your nephew but Xander told her he was straight.  As for how?  I don't know yet."  He went to ask that question of security, who just moaned.

Horatio waited out front for his mate, looking him over when he was drug back. "Uncuff him, Sheldon."

"I can't, the lock's jammed.  I was hoping Stella could."

One of the guys from Vegas coughed and moved over, winking at Xander before he got a nailfile off someone, using the sharp, metal pointed tip to get it undone.  "There you go, Darkness."

"Thanks, Greg, and it's still Xander.  I gave that up for Horatio."  He hugged him.  "Stupid stalker women who wants me to be het," he complained, hugging his husband tightly.  "I'm okay. She was trying to dress me fugly though.  Stiff old guy suits and everything, Horatio.  My stripper side was screaming in agony."  Horatio led him off, taking him to look him over and feed him.

Greg looked at Sheldon, holding out his hand. "Greg Sanders, Vegas.  I did a sweat analysis of him once."

"You ever figure it out?"

"Partially.  We could block it but he'd be totally unattractive and he's worried his boy might complain."

"That's his husband, and they're probably both a bit worried about that.  Can I get your notes?"

"Sure," Greg agreed happily.  "I heard they were coming and I wanted to go over them with Ryan.  Have you seen him?"

"He's hiding with his pregnant wife.  He's being a daddy today since his things are all tomorrow."

"Ah.  Daddyhood is probably good to him."

"It is to Xander.  He's got a son just like him," he shared.  Greg gaped.  "Yeah.  So anything we do now can save him then."

"Agreed," Greg decided.  "You find Ryan, bring him to my room?"

"Sure.  What room?"  Greg wrote down the number and headed off to go gather his notes together.

"Greggo, DNA panel in an hour," Nick called after him.

"I'm going over some pheromone concentrate samples," he called.  "Page me."  He got onto the elevator and headed up to his room to make sure it was a bit more tidy than usual.

***

Ryan looked up as Speed walked in and handed him the Xander, then took the kids and left.  "Why am I babysitting you?"

"The skanky ho I told Willow about got me earlier."

"Ah."  He grinned.  "The people doing the sweat analysis a few years ago went back over it.  We think we can keep Eric from bursting out into lust."

"He's not going to have the same impetus I did, Ryan."

"Point.  He's still got the urges however.  In case it starts to happen or he starts to broadcast lust, we'll have something ready by then.  Greg from Vegas has been really helpful."

"I know, he got me out of the handcuffs earlier."

Ryan laughed. "Was this the first skanky ho you told Willow about or the second one?"

"Second," he admitted bitterly, slumping down on his chosen seat.  "I've been good.  I don't know what's drawing them."

"Easy, usually Speed and Horatio, and probably Eric and I to a lesser degree, mask you somewhat.  Not all that was about the hyena, Xander.  Some of it has been about your own natural body odor and the chemicals you put out.  That's what Greg, Sheldon, and I have been working on.  In case little Eric breaks out in it."

"That would explain that letter," Xander complained, rubbing both hands over his face.

"What letter?"  Xander froze.  "Xander?  You didn't tell Horatio?"  Xander moaned and looked at him.  "You know keeping this stuff from him is bad.  He'll get mad and go off on someone."

"I thought it was some crank."  He got up to go into their bedroom, coming out with a small box of envelopes.  "With breakfast.  I reported it to Hotel Security and Don."

"Don's in trouble if Horatio finds out," Ryan muttered, reading them.  "Any idea who sent them?"

Xander shook his head.  "He had Stella look over the very first one but she couldn't find anything except from the hotel staff."  He looked over as the door opened, smiling at his mate.  "Hi," he said weakly.

"Tired from earlier?"

"No, but Ryan was telling me how he, Sheldon, and Greg from Las Vegas are working on my body odor problem for Eric's sake.  Then Ryan turned into a nag over some crank letters I've been getting."  Ryan handed over the box and moved out of Horatio's way.  "I told Don and he had Stella look one over.  They thought it was some crank too."

"That's five hundred dollar a sheet stationary," Ryan told him.

"There's cranks with money," Xander defended.  "Don said so."

"They're the ones you've got to look out for," Ryan reminded him. "Or should I mention Dubai?"

"How are they getting to you, Xander?" Horatio asked.

"Breakfast.  With my toast."

"Is that why you didn't have toast today?" Ryan asked.  Xander nodded. "I saw you eyeing your son's toast.  I was wondering why."

"I was hoping no letter showed up in his."

"Is this all of them?" Horatio asked.  Xander shook his head.  "Why not?"

"The one Stella had I never got back."

"That's fine."  He smiled at him.  "It's fine. You're right, it's probably some crank with money."  Xander stared him down.  "But I will be making sure of it," he finished, knowing trying to shield his mate was useless.   Someone tapped then slipped a letter under the door, so Ryan went to get it, bursting out in quiet swears.  "What, Mr. Wolfe?"

"You could call me Ryan, Horatio."  He handed it over, looking at Xander.  "The FBI director said if you'd dance for him he'd take you off the no-fly list and remove all the files.  If not, you were going to be branded an enemy combatant."

"Can't we use that against him?" Xander asked.

"By then, you'll be in Cuba," Ryan assured him.  He called his wife, asking her quietly to find DD Fornell and Gibbs.  He looked at Horatio.  "Hardball or not, boss?"

"Trap him," Xander said quietly, looking at his mate.  "I'd have to insist I have a guard."

"I agree, but I don't like this plan."

"Can you see another way?"

"No," he admitted.  "I can't."  Willow opened the door and let the two men in then followed.  "Read," he ordered, pulling Xander up to look at him.  "I don't like this idea, Xander."

"I can't find another way, Horatio.  Though I would like to slip that to Erica."

"That's mean," Ryan said with a smirk.  He looked at them.  "We're figuring out what to do."

Willow took the paper and glared at them.  "You want to trap him, Xander, and have me hack the files at the same time?" Fornell gasped and stared at her in horror.  "Yes, me, twit. Who do you think did all the hacking in Sunnydale?  Xander can't use a computer hardly at all."  His face fell.  "Not like I don't do it for good reasons, Fornell. It's not for shits, giggles, or virus attacks."  Though she might reconsider that at the moment.

"No," Xander said, looking at her.  "They would trace that back to you.  You can't hide a virus's signature the same way you can your tracks.  You and Oz both said so during graduation."

"Point," she agreed.

Fornell squeaked.

"That was a manly sound, Tobias," Gibbs taunted, looking at the obvious family.  "Okay, so we need to do what?"

"Either derail him or trap him. Your choice, Gibbs. I can't see another way and my Spanish is still really sucky."

"Okay," he agreed. "Though they probably would give up on you after a few minutes.  Do you know anything about Islam?"

"Only what got told to me by the guy who wanted to kidnap, torture, and castrate me."

"Who?" Fornell asked eventually.  Xander went to get the binder he had brought up for the auction, walking out flipping through it until he got to a page.  He handed it over.  He blinked at it then at him.  "He committed suicide."

"Because he knew he couldn't have me.  Or so we were told."  He shrugged.  "I sold all the gaudy crap he sent me."  He looked at Gibbs.  "You've been military, can you see another plan?"

"Forty-red?"

"I sincerely doubt the Cobra forces are going to come save me.  I'm not part of their organization," he joked back.  Gibbs just smirked.  "Got the files from that stuff?"  That got a smirk and a nod.  "It was necessary.  The rest was halloween."

"That's fine," Gibbs agreed.  "I agree, can we trap him?"  Xander snorted, giving him a look.  "You think you can?"  Xander pointed at the binder.  Gibbs took it to look through.  "That's some nice tips, Harris."

"I know.  My plan," he said, moving closer. "Send that to a thorn in our side that Ryan knows very well, the same one who broke the story officially into the press.  Trap him in it.  Someone's got to be my bodyguard.  I'd insist. They can always wear a camera."

"He can block anything you send out.  He would also be patting you guys down."

Xander smirked at him.  "Who said it had to send out and who said it would be found?"  He looked at his buddy.  "Can you still run and tape a scrying spell?"

"I can," she agreed.  "If I can't, Aiden can."

"Decent. Mom'd do it.  Don't tell anyone not involved.  We don't need that many pissed people and this is a vacation."  He looked at his mate. "You're going if I can."

"If I can't?" he asked calmly. "I still don't like this plan."

"It's no different than the three killers who had me that I had to dance to get away from, Horatio."  His face tightened.  "Montreal," he defended.  "I promise.  In Montreal."  Horatio calmed down slightly.  "I'll let you interrogate me later," he soothed, leaning against him, giving him a gentle kiss.  "Even with the cuffs if you must," he promised.  "If this is the only way to get him to not do this...."

"It may be," he agreed.  "Ryan?"

"I can call her now."  He pulled out his cell and looked for the number, finding it.  "Erica, Ryan.  Turn off the tape recorder.  I'm offering you a story.  No, a Xander story."  He smirked at the click of the recorder.  "How about.... the guy doing the bashing of him in the FBI just sent a note saying if he danced for him, he'd take him off the no-fly list and that stuff, but if he didn't he'd be named an enemy combatant?"  He smirked.  "I've got it in handwriting.  On a note card.  Yeah, I'm sure.  It was delivered to us and we're at a convention.  He didn't know Xander was a stripper until yesterday.  Please?  And you'll owe me for breaking a story even the bigger dogs can't get."  He smirked. "I thought you might. No, we're in New York.  I can fax it if you want."  He looked at Horatio, then smirked at his wife.  "Find her a handwriting sample to match it to, Wills.  Erica, I'll pull a string with our QD person and have them compare them for you.  How about that?"  He smirked. "I thought you might.  Thanks, dear."  He hung up.  "Fax it to the station," he told her.

She nodded, taking her computer to scan it and do that, sending it to the QD person and sending it normal fax.  She found an exemplar match and forwarded that as well.  He called down there.  "Hey, man, it's Ryan.  Erica Sykes is coming in with two things that just got sent to you by Willow.  Yeah, my wife.  No, someone's blackmailing Xander to be totally honest.  Open up your email and you've got a faxed copy the normal way if you need it."  He waited while he did that.  He heard the gasp.  "Yeah, exactly.  That's why Erica's coming in, man.  Please?  I know, I'll owe you and Horatio's going to look the other way this time."  He hummed. "If anyone wonders why she's there, tell Natalia to tell the others that she's there because of the thing against Xander and you're authenticating a document for Erica's investigation.  You are."  He grinned.  "Yeah, we're having tons of fun.  The kids are mobbing Aiden.  Xander got kidnaped by some woman with somber tastes who wants him to be het.  Lots and lots of fun," he agreed at the laughter.  "Thanks, man.  Let me know?"  He got the results, the computer had already confirmed a match.  He smiled and nodded at the older men.  "Thanks, man.  I owe you."  He hung up.  "Did anyone actually bring a scene kit or bags with them?"

"I found the specialty shop in Time's Square and I picked up some stuff to tease Horatio with," Xander offered, walking him into his bedroom.  "You cannot blab, this is the Christmas present stuff."

"That's fine.  If I see mine, I'll expect a second one."  He grinned at him and looked in that paper bag, gaping.  "Holy God, Xander."  He pulled that one and the other one out, dumping it onto a couch.  "Gee, Gibbs, think you can use any of this?"

"I forgot about that place totally."  Gibbs came over to look, picking out some stuff, handing it to him. "Use that. It's small enough to be put anywhere, even his wedding ring. Also," he said, plucking up a small container.  "Implant that somewhere he can keep it in."

Horatio looked at the subdermal GPS tracking chip and nodded.  "That could be handy," he agreed, calling Sheldon.  "When you get a few, bring Abby and Eric up here please?  Thanks.  No, tell no one."  He hung up.  "Where should we implant that, Xander?"

"My lower back since you don't play with it that much? Less chance of it being hit by accident?" Xander offered.

"That would be best placed inside his upper thigh," Willow suggested.  "No one would feel it in the fatty tissue there, it'd still work, it'd be hidden from the security at the airports most likely.  Most of them scan the upper body and feet these days.  Not the upper thigh."  Horatio gave her an appraising look.  "What?  I'm a techie and I read spy novels."

"Miss Rosenburg, would you like a job?" Agent Fornell asked.

"Computers are my stress relief, I'm six months pregnant, have another one already out, and Ryan wants to be a judge."

"I could let you work from the regular office. I want you around to give me ideas."  He gave her a look.  She pointed at Ryan, who shrugged.  "You'll leave it up to her?"

"Yeah, within reason I do.  Anything that would hurt the rest of us is out of bounds."

"Agreed," he decided, looking at the kid again.  "You have good taste."

"He read batman comics forever," Willow assured him.

"If I had the skills, I used to want to design for him," Xander said proudly.

"You can still sell those things," Gibbs offered.

"Yeah, but it's not as fun if Batman doesn't buy and use it.  Even having spies do it isn't the same level of cool.  Besides, I don't have the skills for that."  Horatio looked at him.  "I don't."

"You don't.  You can't even program the VCR."  Xander grinned at him.  "Or cook."

"They have classes for that," Fornell offered cheerfully.

"If I feel like it," Horatio told him.  "I'm the possessive spouse of the family."

"I'd be too since he nearly got taken four times during the last few weeks," Gibbs offered.

"Five," Fornell corrected.  "One of them he beat the shit out of the person trying.  I think he was psychotic, he kept calling him the messiah."  He looked at Horatio.  Who was staring at his mate with a look on his face that has half bemused, half pissed.  "How many did he tell you about?"  Xander held up three fingers.  "Does that count the one yesterday?"  Xander shook his head.  "Mine did."

"See, I left out the psycho religious nut who wanted me to be crucified.  Not a real attempt, someone insane."

"Xander," Horatio warned, backing him up.  Xander sat down, giving him a slightly scared look.  Horatio growled and kissed him.  "We'll talk tonight."

"Yes, dear," he said weakly.  "I love you. I knew that one wasn't related to anything.  He tried with the woman in front of me on the subway and she maced him."

"Where is he now?" Horatio asked calmly.  Sheldon knocked then was let in by Eric, who groaned.  "He's fine.  We're talking about the person on the subway."

"He's in Bellevue," Sheldon assured him.  "Under observation for mental issues."  He looked at the small package Willow handed him.  "Subdermal GPS.  Nice.  Where did you find this, Xander?"

"Times Square."

"Interesting."  He came over to look him over. "Easiest or easiest hidden?"

"Inner thigh," Willow ordered. "Easiest hidden and it's staying in."

Sheldon read the words on the back, nodding.  "It says it can stay in for up to a year safely."  He looked at Horatio.  "Can I have him?"  He grinned.  "Abby's coming up once she's free."

"Good."  He looked at Eric.  Then at Willow.  "Show him."  She handed over the bagged card.  He moaned and hit the wall.  "Can you think of another plan?"

"Trap him."  He looked at the spy gear, then at Xander.  "Christmas present?"  Xander nodded, giving him a slight grin.  "Speed likes books."

"Speed's getting books."  That got a smile.  "You're getting a gym membership if you want, because I didn't think you wanted taunted for me buying you a new suit after your last one disintegrated."

"No, I've got a new one already, Xander. Thank you for that.  With the Pookie stuff, they're all still wondering.  Your gym?"

"One with a better board."  Eric beamed at that.  He looked at Horatio.  "So, what did you want for Christmas?"

"You to be safely at home."  Xander pulled him down to kiss him again.

"I wouldn't feel comfortable putting this there if he's hard," Sheldon warned.  Horatio broke off with a small chuckle, letting him have his mate.  "Thanks.  It shouldn't even show as an injury.  It doesn't have to go very deep."

"I can do a spot healing over the cut.  I'm good for that much," Xander assured him.

"Okay."  He took him into his bedroom to inset the little thing. He had to get his medical kit but that was all right.  He had been hoping it wasn't an injury.

Abby bounced in with him when he came back.  "What's up, Gibbs?"  He handed over the card.  "Someone's screwed in a way Tony would laugh at."  Gibbs broke out in laughs at that.  "Is Xander all right?  I was wondering why he was missing our lunch."

"My fault, Abby. I had him delivered up here," Horatio offered.  "That way he'd stay out of trouble.  Then that got delivered."

She beamed. "It happens that some of his clients in Miami probably live up here too."  She came over to browse what was on the couch.  She took the stuff from Horatio's hands, putting one back and picking up something better.  "It bounces off satellites, same as the GPS does.  It won't show on a detector."  She stood up.  "Hiding it may be difficult," she admitted, looking at the small camera.

"He's got a nipple ring," Eric offered.

"That'll work," she agreed, going to put that on there.  It could go over the ball of an earring.  She looked at what Sheldon was doing.  "Does that hurt a whole lot?  I wanted to put one of those on Tony."

"Not if you numb it.  After a year the circuitry may degrade."  He handed her the packet so she could read while he finished inserting it.  "Okay, Willow, try it."

A few minutes later she called, "Got him."

Xander muttered a healing charm and sat up, helping Abby by taking out his nipple ring and giving her a different one, making her smile and slide it over that one.  "Better?"

"Much.  Willow, on the same signal can you get a feed?"

"I can," she agreed.  "Is that a tattoo there? Ryan said I can't get one there," she complained.

"I said at all, Willow.  At all.  Not just on your chest."  The sound of kissing.

"They're so adorable too," Abby cooed, smiling at him. "Can I tell Tony?"

"We're trying to keep it quiet."

"Maybe we can follow.  We've been bored with the recent death threats keeping us off cases."  She stood up.  "There. Now, what're you wearing and dancing to?"

"I'm not sure. Fornell, is he a bad slut in any particular direction?"

"How would I know?" he demanded.

"Okay, has he been listening to any particular style of music?" Xander asked, getting up and walking out there.

"GPS and camera still working good," Ryan reported.  "Hey, it's got an X-Ray feature."  He clicked it on and off.

Willow swatted him.  "Quit playing.  You can play when we've got it at home and we set up a nanny cam for Di."  He grinned and nodded.

"As far as I know, he listens to jazz," Fornell offered.  "Recently he's been listening to something more rhythmic but not dance or techno."  Xander frowned and pulled out his i- pod, handing it over after he found a song.  "Yeah, that.  How did you know?"

"I danced to that.  It's fairly popular music."  The room phone rang and he got it.  "What?"  He frowned.  "Sorry to ruin your lunch, Erica.  Not my fault.  No, I don't know why he's doing this.  If I knew I'd have stopped him.  No, the suit stays until this is either fixed or they're fucking sorry.  Anything else you needed a quote on?"  She asked him a quiet question.  "That's his child coming to be.  That's an arrangement. But thank you for that information."  He hung up.  "Honey, she thinks you're cheating on me with Marisol."

Horatio groaned, shaking his head.  "I'll warn her when I see her Sunday night."  He looked Xander over.  "What're you wearing?"

"Clothes."  He shrugged.  "Not like I brought much with me."  He went back into the bedroom, looking over the clothes he had brought.  "Has anyone seen my red leather pants?"

"I threw them out when you ripped them last night," Eric called.  Horatio gave him an odd look. "After dinner, H.  When he changed."   Horatio sat down at his prompting.  "We've got it.  Why aren't we telling everyone else?"

"Too many tempers," Abby assured him, fiddling with the resolution.  "Use those pants and the green shirt, Xander."  He came out in it, then shook his head, heading back in there.

"Xander, bad!" Willow called.

"I'm just displacing a bag in the closet, chill," he called back.  He came out in a soft, furry outfit.  "Suede.  To tough to tear.  Easy to get into and out of, and stretchy enough to do it well."  He stretched up.  "The one time I tried another designer."  He grabbed his i-pod to see what he was dancing to.  He nudged Horatio, letting him see, getting a smirk for it.  Xander had danced to that for him in the past.  "Think it'll distract him enough for a rescue mission?"

"I do."  He took a kiss. "You know you don't have to."

"I'd look horrible after being tortured, dear.  Besides, the first time they enacted his orders, my mental help guide would take over and start ripping throats out. I don't want you to have to deal with my funeral this year."

Horatio pulled him closer.  "Then let me start defending you more often," he ordered quietly.  Xander nodded, relaxing against him. "I want you home.  Mac's doing a good job but he can't be focused on you like I can."

"Has the chief realized how often we get an easy day of watching him?" Ryan teased.

"Not yet. It was Frank's idea anyway."  He looked at his mate again.  "If this doesn't fix this I want you to drive home tonight. With a guard."

"I'll hire a car and a driver that can double as a guard," he promised. "I'll need the trunk room."  Horatio smiled at that.  "Agreed?"  He nodded.  "Good."  He took a kiss. "I still haven't put that check into the foundation stuff."

"That's probably a better idea with what's been going on."

"Think they should reimburse me?" Xander teased, grinning at him.

"I think that would be reasonable," he told Fornell, making him swallow and step back.  "I really do."

Fornell nodded. "I can suggest it when this whole mess goes belly up."  Someone knocked on the door and he opened it, finding a Marine on the other side.  "You need what?"

"I'm here to pick someone up, sir?" he reported, stepping inside.

Gibbs looked at him.  "Who?"

"A Mr. Harris?"  Gibbs pointed and got in his way of moving.  "Sir, I have my orders."

"Do your orders include his safety?" he demanded.

"Yes, sir, but not to bring anyone with us.  Especially not his spouse."  Gibbs showed him the note, getting a disgusted look.  "Is he guilty?"

"No, he's not.  He's running a gay charity."  The Marine sneered.  "The Director is in deep shit.  If he comes home harmed, I will personally make sure your career is tanked."

"You are?"

"A Gunny."  The Marine nodded.  "Working in NCIS.  Understood?"

"Understood, sir.  I can't modify my orders on this point but I can make sure he gets home."

Xander stood up.  "I'm a fair hand at defending myself.  Just watch my back, Marine."  That got a nod.  He looked at Horatio.  "Tonight."

"Tonight," he agreed, standing up and giving him a gentle kiss.  "Try to come back uninjured."

"I'll do my best."  He grabbed his i-pod.  The Marine looked at him.  "I only dance to shit I know, Marine."  That got a nod.  He walked out with him, looking back at everyone.  Xander got into the elevator with him.  "I'd go to the garage personally.  The hotel is crawling with people who will ask questions about why I'm leaving with you.  Most of them know I'm kidnapable."

"If you say so, sir."  He looked at him.  "Who are you really, sir?"

He looked at him.  "Just a normal guy with some skills, a nice husband, a good life, and now an asshole stalker again.  One who's going to get my foot up his ass.  Oh, and I'm a veteran hunter.  Four years of survival training in a fairly tough town."  The Marine looked amused.  Xander looked at him.  "I can kill you.  Easily.  My husband would get very upset with me though.  He's my moral compass."

"Fine, sir."  He got them out and to his jeep, taking off with him.  "So why does he want you?"

"Originally it was some idiots in the FBI who decided being gay was the same as being a terrorist.  Then he stepped in when Deputy Director Fornell, who was upstairs, stopped it."  He looked behind them. "Pull over unless you want shot."  He pulled over suddenly.  Xander got out and went to lean in Danny's window.  "They're blackmailing me. Horatio knows. Go back to the suite.  They've got it."  Danny opened his mouth.  "They're threatening to make me an enemy combatant if I don't, Danny.  Go back to the suite.  Horatio and some of Gibbs' people are there.  Don't tell anyone else.  Please."  That got a nod.  "I'll be fine," he promised, grinning at him.  He winked and headed back.  "Sorry, he's like my big brother and a cop."  He got back in and the jeep carefully pulled out again.

***

Xander was scanned and frisked before being allowed into the restaurant, then one of the agents from yesterday led him over to the private back table.  He sat down and gave him a haughty look.  "What game are you playing?"

"I see you're here.  The wine should be coming soon."

"I don't drink."  The man stared at him and burst out laughing.  "I don't. I never have."

"All strippers drink," he sneered.

"No, not all of us.  All of us *sell* drinks.  Not all of us drink.  That's the beauty of virgin drinks."  He looked at the waiter with the wine.  "I want a bottle of coke."  The waiter nodded.  "Plain glass no ice."  That got another nod.  He looked at the plate that was put in front of him and pushed it aside.  "Salad?"  That got a nod.  He looked at him.  "You have no idea who I am, do you?"

"Besides being a fag and a stripper?  A jumped up one at that?" he sneered.  "Do I need to?"

Xander looked at him and nodded.  "It might help since you're trying to feed me something that would make me vomit all over you.  Also, you're still not touching me."

"Oh, I will," he sneered.  "I'll do whatever I want to you."  Xander picked up his steak knife and without having to look stuck it into his hand, making him howl and Xander smirk.  "How dare you!"  He backhanded him.  Xander stood up, staring him down.  "I'll have you broken."

"Bigger and badder have tried," he sneered.  He sat down again, taking his unopened coke with a smile. "Thank you.  My salad?"

"Will be done within a few minutes, sir.  What dressing did you want?"

"Poppy seed on the side please.  If you don't have it, italian.  Also, get the poor man a napkin, he managed to stab himself somehow," he said blandly, waving a hand at him.  He smiled and tipped him. "Thank you."  The waiter nodded and went to do that.  He brought out the salad and Xander smiled.  "Thank you."  He poured on his dressing and ate a bite, moaning.  "Oh, someone needs the recipe for this dressing."  He caught the waiter's eyes.  "Does the chef allow recipe theft?"  He nodded.  Xander pointed at the salad.  "I'll pay him for it even."

"I'll get it for you, sir."  He went to do that and Xander paid the man, tucking it into his shirt pocket.  "Is everything else all right?"

"Just fine, thank you, dear."  He smiled at him.  The waiter nodded and left so he ate another bite, looking at his 'date'.  "What's wrong?  You don't like curry?"  He smirked and ate another bite, then added more of the dressing, even if it was totally fattening.  It was great stuff.

"I'll see you tortured," he huffed finally.

"Up to you but they'll die," he said simply, finishing up and sipping his soda, leaning back in his chair.  "You think I survived somewhere like Sunnydale for eighteen years without knowing a thing or two about self defense and torture?"  He took another drink.  The man sneered. "I'd eat, it'll be your last meal."

"You'll start to act like the pretty bitch you are or else," he warned.

Xander chuckled, smirking at him.  "Or what?  You'll pout?"  He looked at the guard who came back.  "Boys.  He thinks I'm going to play nice.  Tell him what hostages usually do."

"Sir, if he's playing nice, it's a trap," one of them said.  "Attitude is to be expected.  It's in the handbook.  DD Fornell said so when he yelled at us for losing one."  The Director looked pissed as hell.  Xander grinned at him.  "I got that right, right?"  Xander nodded.  "Sir, have you been kidnaped before?"

"More times than I want to remember," Xander admitted dryly, finishing his soda.  "Aren't you done yet?" he sneered.  The man tried to backhand him again but Xander bit him, then rinsed out his mouth in his water glass.  "Maybe you should have that treated."  The agents stared at him in awe.  He smiled at them.  "Remember a few serial cases in Miami that got solved due to a stripper?"  One of them nodded. "I was that stripper.  I'm here under duress."  He pointed at his 'date'.  "He has the choice to let me go, quit the petty shit the FBI is doing because I'm *gay* and running a *gay* charity, or else I'm going to start dismantling things from his office down.  I'm sure they'll find a rock wall of upright people somewhere around DD Fornell's level."

"You know Fornell?" the first guy asked.

Xander nodded.  "I do.  He came to me to see if I'd drop the suit against you boys for your shit if he fixed things.  Then this one restarted them.  I'm not a happy Xander by any means," he said smoothly, pouting slightly.  They both swallowed.

"We're going," the Director sneered.

Xander stood up.  "About time."  He found a bottle of maple syrup and a spoon, having it for dessert.  "Sorry, you forgot to give me any dessert, snookums."  The man sneered and tensed to hit him. "Ah-ah.   You should've learned better by now.  Smart bitches only take one strike back to learn the lesson."  He backed away. "Shall we?  So your humiliation is started sooner?  After all, my husband wants me back to pamper and treat nicely tonight.  So much better than you do."  He looked outside.  "Boys, go distract Detective Flack.  Before he tries to kill you for having me in your custody."  They ran out there to distract and send him off.  He looked at him.  "You're damn lucky.  I could scream at this moment and Don would be in here immediately."

"You scream we'll see how you like Cuba, boy."

"I know some Cubans, they're very nice," he assured him with a smirk.  "Part of my extended family.  They even try to teach me how to cook now and then.  Haven't been successful, but they've tried awfully hard."  He waved a hand at the door once Don was out of the way, following him out.  He searched around, finding Don up the street.  He shook his head subtly.  He nodded at the guy and shook his head, rolling his eyes.  Don opened his mouth and he shook his head again.  He got into the car, taking his seat against the far door, sitting so no one could get that close to me.  The agents sat across from him so he sat with them instead.  "I feel better now."

"Go," the Director ordered.  "Before that detective has to be dealt with. I saw you signaling him.  Not very subtle."

"I don't do subtle usually.  I do loud. I do action.  I do fighting.  I don't do subtle unless the situation calls for it.  By now I'm sure he's called my husband, found out what's going on, has called in your limo to be found.  After all, my mate always comes for me."  He crossed his legs, looking at him.

***

Horatio answered the phone. "Don, calm down," he ordered.  "We know, he's blackmailing him.  That's why we didn't tell you, Don.  Because you've got a loud temper.  The same as we didn't tell Danny or Mac.  No, we've got it in hand.  I know it's your city, Don.  Just have him tailed in case we lose the GPS lock.  Please.  No, we're trying to keep everyone in the family out of it."

"Too late," Speed yelled as he walked in.  "What the fucking hell is going on!"

Gibbs looked up.  "You're loud."  He handed over the card, making Speed go off in another language and hit a wall.  "Eric did that only in English."

"My mother told me to quit swearing in Russian or Spanish," Eric assured him.  "He okay?"

"Being the princess he is," Abby assured him.  Eric smirked at that.  "He bit him a few minutes ago."

"Good.  We taught the boy good, Speed."

"I'm still going to paddle his ass."

"It's the only way," Horatio said calmly, looking at him.  "When they stop, we'll be going."  Speed nodded at that. "Only if you can be calm."

"Fuck calm," he growled.

"No spouses or uncalm people," Gibbs ordered.  Horatio glared at him.  "I don't care.  I don't want you to kill him.  You can wait in the car."  He went back to listening.  "They're underground?"

"Tunnel out of the city," Abby offered, tracking the GPS on the map.  Everyone was quiet.  "They've stopped."  They went back to the audio feed.

***

Xander looked at the old house, then at him.  "How very trite.  A flop house?"

"You'll be dying here if you don't move," the director sneered.

Xander turned and kneed him.  "I doubt it."  He spit on him then looked at the agents. "I should probably run.  Would you mind not shooting me?"  They groaned and whimpered.  "Oh, come on, guys. Stick up for the victim here.  You're supposed to be the good guys. Or does he have you blackmailed too?"

"He's got us on probation," the first said grimly.  "If we don't follow orders, our jobs are gone."

"I even talked to some of the other agents about this stuff. You're not the first, Mr. Harris. They said to keep it documented and the first thing he can get the chair for or that turns my stomach to become a whistleblower."

Xander nodded.  "Been there yet?"

"Twice.  He's got them cowed."  Xander nodded and kicked the guy on the ground, snapping something.  "Nice shot, sir."

"Stop him," the director ground out.

"No."  The first agent shook his head.  "I'm sorry, but no.  I can't."  He looked at his coworker.  "I'd rather eat my gun."  That got a nod.  "I'm staying here."  He looked from him to Xander and back.  "Should I call the cops?"

The director sneered at him. "Do you think they'd believe you?  He'll be dead at the first hint of officers."  He pulled his gun, pointing it at Xander, his other arm loose against his side. "You're about to die."  Xander ducked and spin kicked him in the stomach, making him drop the gun with an 'oof' of pain.  Xander followed it up with a kick to his side, then a sneer.  "No one will save you," he ground out, reaching for his gun.  Xander picked it up and tossed it back into the car, then slammed the nearest door.  "I'm a trained commando, boy."  He got back up.

Xander looked at him and shrugged. "I spent my young life fighting things bigger than me.  Bring it on."  He waved him on and waited for him to attack, kicking his ass in finest fashion.  The hyena and soldier were both screaming at him and he ducked a punch, knocking him off his feet and into the side of the car.  Running wasn't an option so it was fighting.  Police cars started to pull in.  One of the cops ran over to pull him off the guy.  Xander shoved him and glared, then kicked him under the chin, looking at the agents.  "Well?  Fornell's back in my room.  You can take your careers up with him."

"He's a kidnaping victim," the second one said.  "We've cleaned the house inside, especially in the bunker, but our former director there has killed three other young men.  We're on probation but I don't care if I lose my job.  I can't take this anymore.  This one fought back instead of simply crying."  He looked at him then walked Xander off.  "Relax, sir, you're safe.  We can get you back to your husband."  Xander nodded, leaning against the side of a cruiser.  "Sir, you've got skills.  Where did you train?"

"Survival."  He looked at him.  "Look up Sunnydale sometime.  I grew up there," he offered quietly.  He looked at the cops staring at him.  "I'm the fucking victim, people.  Did we expect me not to fight back?  I bit him earlier!"  They went to confiscate the car, the driver, the agents, the house, and put him into the back of a cruiser with a 'suddenly cold' snap ice pack.  He iced his sore knees and his knuckles until Mac got there.  He opened up the door and looked at him.  "We were trying to keep the severe tempers out of it."

"I heard.  You okay?"

"He backhanded me once.  Tagged me a few times when I snapped."  He got out, letting Mac look him over.  He patted his pocket.  "Still got the recipe too.  Oh, my i-pod."

"I'll find it, Xander."  He looked him over again. Then at the guy on the stretcher.  "You okay?  Back in control?"

"Pissed as hell that he got that high up without a psych profile."

"Guys like him can lie on them," he admitted.  "Sit down, wait here."  Xander sat down again, going back to icing his knuckles.  Mac walked over to the limo.  "What's this I hear about a crime scene?" he asked, flashing his ID.  The cops all pointed at the house.  "Any bodies?"

"I know where they are," the first one said, looking at him.  "I just couldn't sir.  The others were helpless and it ate me, but this one, he fought back.  Very well."

Mac nodded. "He has that habit.  That's why we like Xander."  He followed him inside, going to search for evidence and then the bodies.

***

Mac led Xander into the suite, letting him run to Horatio so he could be held. "He's fine.  A bit bruised and sore."  He looked at everyone else.  "We have tape?"  Gibbs held it up.  "Anything I can use?"

"He admitted Xander wasn't the first," Gibbs told him, smirking.  "What the agents said.  If he had earrings, we'd have put it in the open so we could've seen the fight."  Xander moaned.  "You okay?"

"Hungry."  He looked at Horatio.  "Dinner?"

"We'll have dinner. Did you want to go to the dinner with me?"  Xander nodded.  "Then change. It's suit and tie."  Xander nodded, going to do that.  Horatio looked at them.  "Do you need me?"

"Go check him over," Mac ordered.  Horatio smirked and went to do that. "Without the usual level of noise," he called as an afterthought.  He looked around.  "Where are the kids?"

"With Abby in our room," Tony told him, grinning.  "She's getting her maternal yearnings out for the year."

"Stella does that now and then too."  He opened the door at the knock, letting Abby in. "He's back."

"I know, I rekeyed my computer down there to his GPS chip."  She handed over the sleepy babies.  "We played counting games with Eric and Toddy laughed."

"Good.  Laughing is good," Ryan agreed.  "Thank you, Abby."

"They're a great lesson in the existence of birth control.  Especially since Eric kept trying to get inside my pants to see if I was potty trained."  Big Eric groaned and picked up his namesake to talk to him.  She smiled at Tony and Gibbs.  "We done with our excitement for the week?"

"I am," Tony agreed, giving her a kiss.  "Where are the agents, Mac?"

"In jail.  Fornell can talk to them and they can talk to the DA together."  Fornell nodded at that.  "We'll need a copy of the tape by tomorrow please."  Gibbs tossed him that one.  "One step ahead, thank you."  He walked out, going to register the evidence.  He had a statement from Xander about all this preplanning.  He came back.  "The letter?"  It was handed over by Willow.  "Thank you."  He left again, shaking his head the whole way down.  He ran into a smiling, happy Stella.  "They're fine."

"What happened?"

He held up the card.  She glared at him. "He's back, it's fixed.  He threatened Xander one too many times so Xander kicked his ass."  He walked out, heading back to work for a few hours.  It wouldn't take more than that.

Fornell got a phone call and snapped to a standing position.  "Yes, sir."  He listened. "Yes, sir, that's why.  They found evidence of others.  Three, sir.  Yes, sir.  They're in jail. I was going to go down tonight to get statements and all that.  Thank you, sir, I'll inform him of that.  Yes, sir.  Thank you, sir."  He got hung up on and slumped back down.  "The president is not happy," he told Gibbs. "The news report got taped and handed to him."

"I wonder why," he said blandly.  "His appointee, doing something like this?"

Fornell moaned.  "Don't remind me."  He got up.  "I've got to follow orders.  Harris, you're clear to fly back with your husband!  Please try to be lower profile!  The president saw the news report and is having fits!"  He left, shaking his head all the way to the elevator.

"Gee, boss, he vexes Fornell nearly as much as you do," Tony said with a shiteating grin.  Gibbs smacked him across the head, cleaning up their mess.  He grabbed Abby, pulling her in for a kiss, smiling at her.  She grinned back.  "We're free until Monday at oh-seven- hundred," he teased, kissing her lightly then pulling back when she started to respond.  "Whatever shall we do, Abigail?"

"We shall call Ducky to assure him we're still fine and not mixed up in Fornell's mess, lying if we have to, and then we should go feed me so I have energy for later."

"I can get behind that.  I'm starved.  Then later?"

"We'll see."  She smirked and winked at him, moving to take the computer stuff that was theirs with them.  "You'd break it, Gibbs.  Computers are bad to you."

Willow looked at Ryan. "Can I grow up and become Abby?"

"If you want," he promised, grinning at her. "I wouldn't mind having you safely as a lab tech."  She smiled and kissed him, making him take her to their room.  Where they got noisy. Toddy crawled out a few minutes later at Mommy's urging but they went back to being noisy.

Toddy crawled into Speed's lap, looking at him.  "Ma!" he scowled, pointing.

"I know, they're noisy, Toddy.  It's all right.  They're playing with your little sister."  He sent a silent prayer up to the Goddess for her mental health.

"He spoke," Eric said, looking at him.  "Toddy, can you repeat that?"

"Ma!" he said, frowning at him, glaring at Eric. "Ma ma!"

Ryan opened the door and walked out, picking up his son to look at him.  "You spoke.  Daddy's very proud of you, Toddy.  Yes, he is."  His son smiled at him. "But you're still being babysat by Eric and Uncle Speed until dinner.  That way I can talk to your new sister."  He handed the baby back.  "We'll get you ice cream later for that."  The baby beamed, just like he was at him. "Good boy."  He headed back to his room, having to kick Eric out this time, but that was fine.

"Am I scared he was wearing Kermit the Frog boxers?" Eric asked.

"If you aren't, I am," Danny assured them both.  "Hey, Toddy, rather come over and snuggle me, little man?"  He beamed and got down, crawling over to him. "Good boy!  Soon you'll be babblin' like your Ma and no one'll be able ta shut ya up."  He rubbed noses with him, earning a giggle.  "We should read, that way you're as smart as them too."  Toddy clapped and Eric came around to look at him.  "Want read to?"  Eric beamed and nodded.  "Okay. Come on.   Anyone got a book?"

"TOYS!" Eric squealed, diving back into the bag.

Don listened at the master bedroom's door.  "I think his daddy just squealed the same thing."  Eric threw a pillow at him, making him duck and laugh.  "He did!"

"I doubt Horatio needs toys to please his boy," Speed told him.

"You keep rhyming, I'm going to pick on you," Eric teased.

"Shut up, pookie."

"Hey!"

Calleigh walked into the suite with the bag of weapons. "Did we all take the afternoon off?"  Everyone nodded.  "Did we play?" she teased.  They looked at each other.

"Depends on your definition," Speed offered, pulling her into his lap to kiss her stupid.

***

After dinner was a quiet dance, nothing like a club, but it was nice.  He and Horatio were together on the floor.  Of course, Xander was now in a suit shirt, like his husband was, and he was doing his best to make Horatio growl at him again.  He finally got the right note of 'I'm going to pounce you now' and grinned sweetly. He moved closer.  "I'm still okay," he said quietly in his ear. "I promise I'm okay. You made sure earlier."

"You're still mortal."

"Which was why I couldn't take that chance when he drove me into the middle of nowhere right before rush hour."  Horatio nodded, relaxing in his arms.  Getting to him during rush hour would have been a problem.  "Am I leading?" he teased.

"If you want," he promised. Xander took control of the swaying they were doing, just holding his mate for now.  "You still worried me.  You snapped to the plan quickly," he said, and he could've hit himself.

"Field decisions can't take thought, Horatio."  He looked at him.  "Really.  Field decisions take quick action. I figured it'd be sooner instead of later. I doubt he'd have given me until dinner.  I'm surprised how much time he did give me.  Announce you're going to kidnap someone and then give them two hours to escape?"

"Maybe he wanted the thrill of the hunt too," he soothed, stroking down his back. "Did you want to go back now and then?"

Xander gave him a look like he was insane. "No!"  He pulled him off the floor and into the back hall, pushing him against the wall.  "Why would I want to go back?  I get all the attention I crave.  I get all the love I need.  The tips and the money were nice, but I've got money now.  I don't have to work.  I will be taking college classes again starting next semester.  Especially accounting."  Horatio smiled at that. "Maybe not full time but I'm going."  He moved closer.  "Yes, I still need a teasing fix now and then but even that's getting better, Horatio.  I'd die if I had to go back there."  He leaned against his chest. "Please don't send me back there?"

"I won't, Xander, I was making sure."  He stroked down his back.  "You seemed to like the idea today."

"No, it was knowing I could stun him stupid enough for you guys to come in and get me," he corrected.  Horatio nodded, understanding that now. "It was a field decision.  That's all it was.  I have no intention and no desire to go back.  I refuse to go back.  I'd almost rather go begging to one of my present-wielding fanclub and cheat first."

"It won't come to that. I still make a good salary," he reminded him, stroking over his back.  "If we have to, we can survive on mine."  Xander looked up at him.  "What?  You think the next one will force me out?"  Xander nodded.  "That's why you've been making the emergency plans, isn't it?"  He nodded, curling against his chest again.  "It won't happen, Xander.  I know who's taking over and he's already been told about us specifically.  Besides, even if they did and we had to live on your money for a few months while I found another job, it wouldn't be that bad.  Nothing can touch the foundation now without you and Don signing paperwork."

"Don's already put his name on it," Xander said quietly.  "He handed it to me a week ago, in case something happened and he was taken out first."

"Where is it?"

"In the safe."  He looked up at him.  "I'm giving it to Eric's mother to hold for me.  Without my signature."  That got a smile.  "My will leaves you and Speed everything and you and him in charge in my absence anyway."  He snuggled back in.  "I included Eric as my secondary heir if it takes us both and put his custody with Speed or bigger Eric. Or worst comes to worst, Eric's mother.  I asked Ryan and he refused.  Said it was too much work."  Horatio nodded, stroking down his back.  "I left him a rock solid trust and his college funds.  You can hand everything else to him when he's ready."  He nuzzled the spot he was resting against.

"Why not Di?"

"Because she parties very hard, Horatio.  There's a better chance of her dying first."  He gave him a squeeze.

"Did you have someone read her future?"

"No.  Wasn't necessary.  Common sense. She doesn't always take the right precautions."  He looked up at him.  "Can we drop the depressing shit?"

Horatio smiled. "You eased my earlier worries and my new one, Xander.  Have I gotten most of yours?"

"All but one. You really don't like the emergency plans?"

"No, I think it's a bit grand," he admitted.  He stared down at him.  "It's a very large investment."

"Which is another thing we can handle if we have to."

"Good point. The guns?"

"I do Toby a favor now and then.  He's the guy who runs Tentacles."  Horatio moaned.  "He's got me translating books for him, Horatio. Nothing else.  Translating some of the more popular fiction into the more common demon languages."

"That's interesting.  I never thought about most of them being able to read, much less wanting to."

"Yup and he's got a big client base for mysteries."  He grinned at him.  "Want to stay here or go somewhere more fun?"  He had seen Danny peek out at them a few minutes ago and had heard Don's complaining that they had slipped off.

"I wouldn't mind staying here.  Did you want to go somewhere more exciting?"

"Just somewhere people quit glaring at me."

"Some officers believe you can't be a real man, therefore a real officer, and gay."

"I know but it still sucks.  Maybe we should offer rewards for the openly gay officers who help the newbies."

"Perhaps," Horatio offered.  He stroked down his back again.  "When did you get this suit?"

"Last week.  Not like I brought more than one, Horatio."

"How many bags are you coming home with?" he asked tolerantly.

"Two suitcases, all the paperwork shit, and the stuff leftover.  I'm shipping it back through a secure courier the day before."

"That's fine," he agreed quietly.  Danny came out more openly that time, earning a smile.  "We're talking."

"I figured he was whining about the glaring idiots."  He came over, letting the door slam behind him.  "You wanna blow this pop stand?"

"I want them to quit glaring," Xander offered tiredly.  He looked up at Horatio.  "Can I have your real anniversary present done tomorrow before you go to the afternoon sessions?"

"My *real* one?"

"You'll get little things, like dinner out and stuff," he promised with a small smile.

"What are you doing?"

"Buying you a new suit."

"Up here?"

"Yup."  He smirked and pulled back. "Please?"

"Fine, Xander, but nothing too extravagant.  Remember, I still have to buy yours and I'll want to spoil you more."

"No, mine is a once-in-a-lifetime spoiling.  You're getting me stuff that'll make me smile and coo, and possibly pounce you on the beach again."  Horatio smiled at that. "Do not rob the savings account for mine."

"If I can't you can't."

"I don't have a saving's account."  Horatio shook hid head. "I promise I won't do this ever again.  This is for special things."

"Fine, Xander.  I'll let you spoil me horribly while I make you feel content and like you're at home."  Xander beamed.  "Does this have anything to do with Marisol?"

"I want it to hurry up and take, but no."

"Are you sure it's still all right?"

Xander kissed him.  "Shut up, Horatio. I want a baby Horatio to spoil with the baby Xander."  That got a smile.  "Okay?"  That got nod.  "Good.  Now, staying or going somewhere else calm and nice?"

"Calm and nice is something I'm for. I could use calm and nice," Danny promised. "I'll get the rest of the family."  He headed back inside and Xander took Horatio out the other exit, walking around to the valet parking area.  Danny and the rest of them met them out there.  "Anyone know somewhere nice and calm?"

"I know somewhere jazz, blues, and instrumental music," Mac offered.  "I'm not playing tonight."  Xander smiled at him.  "You do have the time to learn."

"Let me learn accounting first, Mac.  That way I quit having to rely on Ray Jr. to balance my checkbook."

"He'll be disappointed if he can't use the car," Eric teased.

"He's going to college in another year and a half.  I'll give it to him for graduation."  That got a round of smiles.  "I need to be able to do it on my own by then.  Plus type all those form letters."

"You can take a computer class for that," Willow assured him.  "The local business school has one for secretarial stuff."  Xander nodded, accepting that.  "What sort of music, or should we maybe do comedy?  We hardly go anywhere funny."

"Funny is nice," Don agreed. "Somewhere we won't get glared at for having gay members.  I'm about to smack a few of my coworkers."  His phone rang so he walked off to answer it.  "Flack."  He smiled. "Delilah.  We're about to go out to a comedy club together as a group.  Wanna join us?"  He listened to her 'no' and her reason, that she was getting back together with her ex.  "Wasn't he a dirtbag?" he asked her.  He slumped.  "No, I'm not disappointed.  I know that you've got to go over that in your mind.  Yeah, not a problem," he said, hanging up on her.  He walked back.  "I definitely need something funny that serves liquor now."

Xander looked at him.  "Do I get to kill her?"

"No," he said flatly.  "Her ex just came back, suddenly clean, sober, and straight.  No little stripper ho on his arm this time."  Danny gave him a shoulder squeeze.  "So, comedy club?"

Stella walked inside to the desk.  "Hi, we're heading to a comedy club.  Are there any good ones where we definitely won't hear anti-gay jokes?  We don't care if it's gay themed or not, just not anti-gay."

She pulled up a list with a smile and starred a few.  "The second star down is my favorite and it is gay themed but they're very funny."

Stella smiled.  "Thank you."  She walked out, handing over the list. "She likes the second one down best but it is gay themed, Don."

"S'good with me," he decided, handing it to the cabbie when they piled into two of them.  "The second one down."  That got a nod and Xander paid when they got there twenty minutes later.  He walked up to the ropes, looking at the bouncer.  "Cover tonight?"

"I've got it, Don," Danny promised.  He counted heads. "Seventeen of us."

"Three more of you and you could get a group discount," he offered.

"Sorry, all there are of us," Xander assured him. "How much?"

"Ten each."  Xander handed over his gold card, letting him run it.  He got a smile and a nod, letting them walk in.  "Thank you."

He smiled and took Horatio's hand. "You know, there's a cop's union convention going on.  There are gays among them," he offered quietly.

"We got a bunch of them earlier."  He smiled at Don.  "Bar's straight back, sweetie."

"Thanks.  She just dumped me."  He headed that way, bringing it back to the table he'd be sharing with Stella and Danny.  "No Mac?"

"He's talking with Gibbs," she said, stroking his hand.  "Don't get too loudly drunk, Don.  Just ease it.  We'll make sure you get home."  He nodded, taking a sip.   She looked over, watching Xander giggle at the woman onstage.  It was good to see him happy.

"He moped all the time he was up here," Danny agreed, reading her thoughts on her face.  "It's good they're back together.  Who has the babies?"

"Hotel sitter with an alarm.  Willow's monitoring them on her watch.  They hooked the nannycam to it."  That got a smile and the waiter came buy, pausing by them.  "Beer?"  Danny nodded. "You get this round."

"Sure."  He handed over a ten. "Two beers."

"We've got over twenty flavors. Any particular one?" he asked.

"Whatever's on tap.  We're used to crummy cop bar beer," Stella assured him.  He smiled at that and nodded at Don. "His lady just dumped him."

"Poor baby.  She's obviously got a sight deficiency if she couldn't see how magnificent he is."  He walked off, bringing them back their beers, winking at Danny since it had only been change.  He grinned and he kept it as a tip, sure he'd get more from them later.  Even if cops were usually lousy tippers.

Horatio listened to the laughs change pitch and got up, taking Xander with him to the bathroom, letting him let it out now.  He knew he broke down after bad fights.  It had taken a while but it was going to happen now.  "I'm here," he soothed.  Xander clung to him, letting it go. "Shh, you're safe, I'm safe, and he's gone for good, Xan.  Nothing and no one will touch you."  Xander sniffled and pulled back, letting him stroke his cheek.  "Better?"  He got a solemn nod.  "Then clean up and let's go back."   He gave him a gentle  smile. "We'll cuddle tonight."  Xander nodded, going to clean off his face.  Mac walked in.  "He's fine."

"I spilled my drink while I was laughing."  He wet a paper towel and got to work on his tie.

"Seltzer water, Mac," Xander said quietly.

Mac nodded.  "I know, but the dry cleaners is always better."  He gave a grin and a punch to the arm.  "I've been there too, kid. Make Gibbs and Tony behave for me, okay?"  Xander nodded, taking Horatio's hand to leave with him while he got back to work on his tie.  He and Gibbs had been watching for it.  Not too bad.  He'd seen guys that had it days later.

***

Horatio looked around the designer shop Xander brought him to.  "Oh, no," he said, staring at his very young husband.  "There is *no* reason for me to be in here."  Xander leaned in and kissed him until all he could think of was 'mine' then pulled away.  He licked his lips and looked around, then back at him.  "Why?"

"Your boss said you need a tux.  There's no way in hell you're going to rent one, Horatio Caine.  So get your ass in there."  He pointed.  He trudged and Xander grinned, having won this round.  "Besides, it's a once in a lifetime thing that every man *should* have."  Horatio looked at him.  "The guys on the gay network said so."  The cashier behind the counter snickered and nodded. "Didn't they?"

"They did," he agreed.  "What are we fitting to him today, sir?"

"A tux, his boss said he needs one."

"Of course.  Right this way."  He led them back to the selection they had, Xander pointing at one.  "Are you sure?"

"That's about his usual cut of suit."

The salesman looked him over, then shook his head, pulling another out.  "This would fit him better.  It would emphasize his height and mass."  He let him try one of each on once he checked the size in his suitcoat.  Horatio came out and Xander drooled over his choice.  He smiled at him.  "Now, we're fitting him for the full outfit?"

Xander looked at him and pulled him away, handing him a rolled stack of bills. "That's five grand. I want him to look so hot our surrogate conceives tonight from the mere sight of him.  Anything jewelry wise is his.  Shoes too."  The salesman nodded and went to do that for him.  Xander browsed.  "Classic white shirt or a black one do you think?"

"I think a black one would look good on him but some people like the classic," he said, looking at Horatio.  "Do you have a preference?"

"The last time I wore one was a rental.  It was nearly eight years ago.  Xander, why do I need one?"  Xander came over and kissed him again, regressing his mind further.  This time all he had was 'more' for ten minutes.  When he finally snapped out of it, the tailor was working on him.  "How do you do that?"

Xander winked.  "I changed the breath spray I'm using, Horatio.  Don't you like it?"  He winked.  "White shirt or black, babe?"

"White's fine."  One was found and handed over. "No ruffles?" he teased.

"I'm trying to have *good* taste," Xander reminded him patiently.  "Remember, tonight's the stupid formal dinner."

"Do you have a tux?" the salesman asked.

"I do.  I got one last week," he admitted, grimacing. "I've decided I do not like the new Armani looks either."  Horatio stared at him. "It wasn't more than my blue one, Horatio."

"That's not saying much, Xander."

"Quit complaining.  The Chief said we *both* have to have one, we *both* have to look spectacular, plus I've got all those *splendid* formal gala events to go to coming up."

"I forgot about that.  At least you'll get a lot of use out of it."

"Hmm, don't remind me," he complained.  He watched as everything was fit.  "He'll be done by tonight at six?"

"It will," he agreed, smiling at him. "Thankfully you can in first thing."

Xander nodded. "I would've drug him last night but I was rather kidnaped and being held hostage."  Horatio growled.  "Sorry."  He ducked and brought the salesman over to look at shoes.  "He's an eleven, slightly wide."  A box was pulled down and Horatio allowed them to be put onto him.  "Do they fit or do you need wider?"

"No, these fit," he admitted. "They're comfortable."

"They're made by a sneaker maker," the salesman said with a wink.

"If there's any of that left, I need a pair," Xander complained.  That got a smile and a nod. "Bowtie or button cover?"

"Bowtie.  Most white men can't do the button cover very well.  Though I can see him more as the casual sort, top two buttons undone and slightly open."  Horatio nodded at that.  He went to find a nice tie, then they looked at the cufflinks - they only needed a single set with that shirt.  Xander pointed at the button covers and got a head shake.  "No, not on him.  It won't look right."  Xander nodded, pointing at a set of sapphire cufflinks, earning a smile. "Not quite his eye color but a hint of color."

"Baby, blue or green?"

"Blue is fine, Xander."  He looked at him. "Do not get me something like sapphires."

"But, baby...."

"Xander."

"Fine."  He looked at a set near the end, a pair of blue diamonds.  "How much are they?" he whispered.  The salesman gave him an appraising look. "Please."  The tag was flipped over, making even him hiss.  "Ow."

"There's a nicer set," he offered, going into the back to get them.  He handed Horatio the tie on the way past him.  "Show off his muscles, boys, he's an officer."

"He's a Lieutenant," Xander said proudly, smiling at his mate.  "He runs the Miami crime lab."

The salesaman smiled.  "You must be proud."

"I am. I'm very proud."  He looked at the set of cufflinks that had been brought out, falling in love with them.  "I adore those," he gasped.  "How much?"

"Xander," Horatio warned.

"They're not sapphires, baby."

"No diamonds either.  Nothing with a gemstone."

"They're not," Xander assured them.  Well, not strictly true.  They were obsidian surrounded by blue enamel.  Just enough color to taint the obsidian their way.  The tag was shown to him and he smiled.  "I like that.  Does he need a cummerbund?"

"I wouldn't," the salesman offered.  "It's not like he'll need a crumb catcher or to hide his abs.  Boys, fit the shirt.  Tailor it well," he ordered impatiently. "He's got an impressive body because of how he keeps Miami safe and secure.  They deserve a chance to drool."  Horatio gave him a look.  "Your husband said so, Lieutenant.  Besides, I'd give in if you questioned me."  He looked him over.  "Does he need a dress coat?"

"It's been pretty warm recently," Xander admitted.

"I have one," Horatio assured him. "A very nice black trenchcoat."

"Okay.  Well, cutie, looks like we can get you a pair of good shoes too.  What size are you?"  Xander had to look.  "You poor thing.  Newly rich?"

"Within the last year but the mother of my son is a designer so I get her to make me most everything.  Our suit shop knows me on sight since I spoil him so horribly."  That got a smile. "It says ten."

"We can try a pair.  You have on socks?"  Xander nodded. "Clean ones?"

"Of course. I've been living at a hotel for the last two weeks."  That got a laugh.  "I'm the reason the FBI got flamed."

"Ah."  That sound of wisdom meant he'd be finding out about that later.  "The Armani doesn't look fantastic on you?"

"Not as much as he will.  Which is partially my intention."  He shrugged and sat down to try on the shoes.  "Oh, these are nice, but a bit tight."

"Then let's go up to an eleven."  He handed them over.  "I take you as a normal width."  Xander nodded, trying them on, then smiled and got up to walk around.  "The drop under the edge of your toes will be fixed as you wear them more. They've got memory foam inside."  Xander sat down and took his off, putting them back into the box and handing them over with a smile.  "Good.  Is he nearly done?"

"Nearly," one of them admitted.  "We have cufflinks?"

"Yup.  One of the new sets we just got in today."  That got an appreciative look.  They smoothed the coat over Horatio's waist, then buttoned it up to check it.  "Is it comfortable, Lieutenant?"

"A bit tight across the shoulders if something happens."

"I suppose that's something you have to consider."  They could fix that easily.  Marks were put on.  "Anything else?"

"Pants pockets?"

"We can add a set," the tailor promised. They got him out of the coat and let him change out of the pants once they checked the fit, letting him change.  He came out in his usual suit, the one Xander had gotten them for their last anniversary, earning some appreciative looks.   "That's nice work."

"That's our usual suit shop," Xander said proudly.  "They know us on sight now. I spoil him horribly."  They smiled at that.  Xander looked at the salesman, who nodded that it was under that total. "Then the rest is a tip."

"We work on commission," he promised.  "I shouldn't."

Xander patted him on the hand.  "You appreciate my Horatio like I do."  He winked and walked him out.  "Come on, honey.  We've got to pick out a fortieth birthday present for Alexx.  It'll also be her twelfth anniversary."  Horatio gave him a look.  "I said I got most of the holiday shopping done. I have."  He grinned at him.  "Do not fuss. It's a once-in-a- lifetime present.  Besides, you said you'd attend the dreadfully dull events with me.  Plus the more exciting ones."

"I did," he agreed, taking his hand to hold. "How much did you give him?"

"Enough to give him about a hundred dollar tip."  He grinned. He'd pick up his shoes when they went to pick up Horatio's tux.

"I still didn't need anything that fancy."

Xander stopped him, looking at him. "I want you so hot Marisol conceives on sight of you tonight, baby.  I want Erica to be running a story in nine months about how the sudden increase in the birth rate is unexplained."  Horatio blushed at that.  "You should look more hot than I do, if only so people quit wondering how I look naked.  I want you hotter than me.  Besides, the Chief said you needed one."  He took his hand and started him walking again.  "I was thinking silver picture frames for Alexx.  Or is that a wedding present? I can't remember this stuff."

"We'll look."  He looked up.  "Why are we at Tiffanies?"

"Because I always wanted to browse in here.  Stella claims it's orgasmic."

"Fine," Horatio agreed, "but no buying anything."  Xander nodded, walking in there with him.  Within the hour they had found the perfect gift for Alexx, the perfect one for Calleigh's next birthday, and one for Eric's parent's anniversary.  All relatively inexpensive since it wasn't jewelry.  Horatio relented and let him buy them, then looked at the card. "Credit card, Xander?"

"It's being paid off each month out of my trust, Horatio. I'm still living on the interest, even today."  He took the bag with the nice blue boxes and smiled, then took Horatio's hand.  "The only thing I have left to buy is Marisol's holiday present because I was waiting to see if she conceived before then so I could get her a mommy gift, or not.  And I have to buy one for dad's birthday but I don't know how to find something that shows how much I care about him."

Horatio looked at him.  "I'll help you look."  He took a quick kiss. "What's his holiday present?"

"Book gift certificate."  Horatio smiled at that.  "That way I don't have to guess or ask for a list.  A two hundred dollar one so he can get something special or a lot of cookbooks or whatever."  They continued up the street, ducking into a small metal shop to look around.  He saw a sword he liked but Horatio shook his head, walking him off by force.  "But it was pretty."

"Yes, but you three others in that size, Xander."

"Good point."  They walked on and found a small statue shop.  He looked in the window and saw the perfect gift, pointing at it.  "That?"  Horatio smiled and nodded, walking him in there to get it. The small ceramic figurine of a father holding his son that said 'daddy' underneath.  It was very them.  They tucked that bag into the other one and headed back to the hotel so Horatio could have lunch with the boys and then go back to his learning new things.  Xander went to wrap presents and arrange to have them shipped off that night.  By the time Horatio was back, the suite was mostly cleaned up, except for what they'd be wearing tonight and tomorrow.  Xander came out in his tux, smiling at Horatio since he had the bag.  "You picked it up?"  That got a nod and his shoes handed over.  "Thank you.  Hand me the watch on the dresser?"

"It's a Rolex."

"It was in that crappile Dru and Cordy gave me."

"Didn't sell?"

"Nope. It's personalized and gaudy."  He flashed the gold and diamond dial.  "Plus it flashes in the right light.  Cheline quipped and said every man needs one good watch for special occasions.  I said I'd rather have something more subtle but she said this one showed the money more clearly.  Called it my bling for society events."  He sat down to lace up his shoes and put them on, then his watch and tie.  He hated tuxes.  He felt like he was being strangled and confined, like it was a straight jacket instead of a suitcoat.  "Can't I switch out to my other black one?" he complained.

"No. You're whining."  He came out and looked Xander over, then sighed and shook his head.  "Have our tailor fix it, Xander."  He redid his bowtie, making it looser.  It cut the fidgeting in half.  He stole a kiss, moving down his back.  He found a spare pin and pulled it out but otherwise it was all right.  Not the best fit but okay.  He went back to his changing.

"That's one nice tux," Eric said as he came out.

"It's an investment," Xander agreed dryly.  "I have to hit at least four formal events during the holiday seasons."  Speed came out dressed but with his tie in his hand. "If I have to wear one you have to wear one."  He smiled at Calleigh and looked toward his room. "I have something that didn't sell that'll look good with that."

"That's okay, I like this with my locket," she assured him, patting him on the cheek. "Did you finish your holiday shopping?"

"Yup, all but Marisol's since I'm waiting to see if she needs a mommy gift or not.  I even got something for Eric's parent's anniversary."

"Crap, you're doing better than me," Eric admitted, shaking his head.  "What are you getting them."  Xander grinned. "Oh, come on!  I don't want to duplicate."

"What we found earlier your sisters are more likely to," Horatio called.  He came out and smiled at Calleigh, then got the box off the dresser, opening it to show her.  "Better you than him."

"I...."  She stared at the teardrop ruby necklace, then at her locket.  "Can I layer?"

"Wear it," Speed assured her, smiling at her. "I'm not insulted."

"No, I want to wear your present," she said firmly, closing it.  "Thank you anyway."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "Did we forget to give you presents?" she teased.

"I thought when we snuck out was," he teased back, grinning at her.  "After all, it all I wished for at that moment."

She grinned and pinched him.  "They'll be on the table at dinner."  Xander nodded. "See?  He said so."

"I do. I also say we've got to go soon before someone decides to steal them.  You never know about some janitors," he joked.  "Maybe Speed's got a fanclub too."

"I hope not.  It was creepy finding his shrine to you."  He looked at Horatio when he came back out fully dressed. "Cufflinks?"

"They're sealed."  He handed them to Xander, who grinned and opened them, putting them in for him.  He looked then smiled at him.  "I do like those, Xander, thank you."  He took a kiss. "Brush your teeth."  He went to do that and make sure his hands and nails were presentable.

Speed looked in the bathroom then at Horatio again.  "That's a nice tux.  Better than the son's."

"He said it was so people quit imagining him naked."  He smiled at the knock on the door.  "Eric, that should be Marisol."  He got up to let her in, smiling at her.  "Marisol."  She paused and stared at him, then smiled and hugged him. "Thank you but it's Speed's birthday."

She pulled out a card and hugged him.  "You deserve it for putting up with this year's insanity," she whispered.  She smiled at her brother. "I see you cleaned up."

"I see you just flew in," he teased back. "Are you coming with us?"

"No.  I'm settling in and getting ready."  He smiled, kissing her on the cheek.  "What are you getting for momma and papa's anniversary?"

"I don't know yet.  Xander won't tell me what he got them."  Xander came out and whispered in his ear, getting a smile. "They'll like that.  I can go with something like that."  He smiled at her.  "Maybe something for all the grandchild pictures?"

"That's a good idea," she agreed.  She smiled at Xander, who pointed at Horatio.  "You have good ideas."

"I try," he agreed modestly.  Ryan and Willow came out.  He smiled at them.  "You two look very nice."

"That's a Poco Raban tux," Willow said in awe.  "Xander spoils you."  Ryan kissed her, making her smile.  "I like it when you make me cookies.  It's more special and personal."

"Good.  I'll make you two cookies when I get back.  Marisol, the sitter's coming in for Toddy and Eric in a few minutes. Would you stay until then?"  She nodded, grinning at them.  "Thank you."  He walked Willow out and down there, going to put his present on table too.  He had only found theirs earlier.

Xander came out and took Horatio's arm, smiling at them.  "Shall we?  If we're all ready?"  They nodded, following the couple out.  "Later, Marisol.  We'll have breakfast?"

"Of course."  She smiled as they left.  They were so handsome together as a group.  She checked on the babies, patting them on the head and giving them each a kiss.  Eric moved some but he was still asleep. She went to wait for the sitter, smiling when she came up.  "They're down and firmly asleep.  I'm down in room 165 if you need anything.  Their fathers and mother are at the banquet."

"Yes, ma'am.  Thank you, ma'am."  Marisol smiled and tipped her then left.  The older woman checked on them then sat down to watch tv.  It was the easiest assignment in the hotel at times.

***

Speed sat down behind the pile of presents, finding Ryan's on top.  "Wow.  I raked it in this year," he agreed happily.

Danny and Don snuck over with one larger one. "From all of us up here," Danny said, giving him a hug.  They went back to their seats.

"Anyone mind if I open theirs first?"  No one said anything so he opened that one, finding a nice 'put it together' all wood bookrack.  "Wow."  He showed it off.  That was really nice and he needed more shelf space.  Calleigh giggled and handed over hers.  He opened it and beamed at her.  "Now I'll really need the space.  Book gift certificate."  He tucked it back into the envelope and opened Ryan's since it was on top and had Snoopy paper.  "Awww."  He held up the keyring with Xander's baby picture in it.  "That's so cute!"

"We knew you didn't have any of him and Ryan said you broke yours.  That's titanium," Willow said proudly. "If you run over in the hummer again, it'll only dent the keys."  Horatio snickered at that.  "It will. I asked."

Speed chuckled and slid it into his pocket. "Loved the paper too, guys.  Thanks."  He opened the next one, which had to be Eric's.  It was a book on how to host good parties and mix wonderful drinks.  "Gee, Eric, hinting?"

"Well, you said if you ever retired, you'd give catering a shot," he teased.

"I did," he agreed, putting that with the bookrack and gift certificate. He looked at the three remaining ones. "Okay, I know the blue is Alexx's.  The green is from Frank and Yelina.  So the other one must be from Xander and Horatio, right?"  They both nodded.  "Cool.  I'll get that one last."  He got into Frank and Yelina's, finding another book gift certificate.  "Now I'll need new bookshelves."

"Only if you put on a balcony and cover it, honey," Calleigh assured him, patting him on the wrist.  "Or we take over Xander's old room."

"You mind, kiddo?"

"No, I'm good. Leave a couch in there just in case."

"Sure."  He put that with the other one and opened Alexx's.  "It's a popular gift."  Horatio laughed at that.  "At least I'm easy to shop for," he teased back.  He tucked that one in there.  He'd need to redo all of Xander's room to use them all.  Alexx and Calleigh had been very generous with the gifts.  He pulled the last one closer, opening the tinsel paper carefully.  He had the feeling this one was going to make him cry by the look on Horatio's face.  He opened it and found a little statue.  He picked it up, staring at it for a minute, then he got up and he hugged Xander.  "I love you too, kiddo."  He sniffled.  "I didn't want to cry tonight though.  I'll cry later."  Xander nodded, sniffling a little bit.

"Can I see?" Eric asked.  It was carefully handed over.  "Aww."  He shared it with Calleigh, who hugged the duo.  "I'll help you carry it upstairs, Speed."  That got a nod and he let go, helping by taking the precious statue with him.  Eric got the rest.

"That was such a perfect gift," Willow said, dabbing at her eyes.  "When did you find that?"

"Earlier.  We found it in a little shop just past Tiffanies."

"Did you get to go in?" Ryan teased. "I heard what Stella called it."

"Oh, it so was," he moaned.  Horatio patted him on the hand.  "I didn't even go near the jewelry either.  I was a good boy."

"You were. You spent less than six hundred in there and you didn't buy any jewelry," Horatio agreed.  Willow giggled at that.  "There were a few important presents.  Alexx's upcoming fortieth and twelfth anniversary being one," he said, looking at Ryan.

"I've got one for that.  I've got a friend who does portraits so I gave him a picture of us and her and her kids and husband, told him to make a portrait out of it."  Horatio smiled at that.  "That way she only has to look one place for all the kids."  Xander grinned at that.  Willow squeezed his hand.  He looked at her.  "You didn't like that idea?"

"I did, but are we buying her gag gifts for the party at work?"

"No, that'd be mean," Horatio assured her. "In ten years we can do that."  She smiled at that.  The boys came back and Calleigh came back from the table with the New York crew and Aiden.  They settled in to eat dinner and chat about the kids and educational things.  Xander's upcoming college.  Willow's upcoming college.  Ray Jr.'s upcoming college.  Yelina thinking about having another one when he went to college.  At least until the announcer got up and said they were doing the awards.  Then they turned to pay attention.  Even when Horatio was stunned stupid at his name being called.  He got a gentle nudge from Ryan and Xander, standing up and heading up there.

"Lieutenant Caine.  You have done more than any other supervisor this year to promote crime solving technologies and to mold your team into a shining example of what a lab team should be.  For that, you're being awarded the Supervisor of the Year award."  The crowd broke out in applause.

"Thank you," he said as he took it, smiling slightly.  "I hope I can keep it up."  He walked back there, sitting down to stare at it.  Xander grinned at him. "You knew?"

"I figured out it was *one* of them, not which."  Horatio looked at him.  He took Horatio's hand off the small crystal award and turned him back around so they could clap for the others, including Don's Cop of the Year award for doing so much with the lab even though he wasn't one of them and having an excellent solve and caseload.

***

Horatio left the suite once Xander was asleep after a wonderful backrub, going down to Marisol's room.  He tapped gently and she opened it in a bathrobe.  She paused to stare at him again.  "The Chief told Xander he had to get me one and I couldn't rent."  He walked in. "How are you doing, Marisol?"

"I'm fine, Horatio. My last tests came out very well."  She took his hand, kissing the back of it.  "He has good taste."

"I'd like to think so since he's staying with me."  She clucked her tongue and helped him out of his tie, then his jacket. "Did the doctor say it was still all right to try?"

"He did," she promised, smiling at him.  He nodded, leaning closer to kiss her.

***

Eric woke up when someone slid in next to him.  "Last I knew I was single and you were my sister," he complained, putting his head back down.  That scent could only be Marisol.

She kissed him on the cheek.  "It worked."  He sat up and turned on the light, looking at her.  "I feel it, Eric.  Like sister did and mother."  He hugged her, smiling.  "Thank you.  I'll know for sure in a few weeks."

"I'm so happy, Marisol.  Is he back up here?"

"Right were he belongs," she agreed, still smiling. He could see she really meant that.  "We talked earlier as well.  Between."  He nodded, understanding that.  She put a hand over her stomach then looked at him.  "You swear, Eric?"

"If something happens and you have to leave the baby, the baby's as good as my own," he promised.  "I'll still split custody with them."  She nodded so he swallowed and hugged her again.  "It won't happen."

"I know, but I had to plan in case."  He nodded, laying them back down so she could cuddle.  You should be cuddled on a night like this. "I think I'm  going to give them my official test results for their anniversary."

"She'll be over the moon, Marisol, and you'll start getting nagged about your diet and things.  Xander will have to come rescue you."

"I'm sure he would anyway."  She snuggled in closer, curling up on his chest.  "You should be this happy, Eric."

"Some day I will but I'm still young, Marisol.  Some day."  She nodded, falling asleep there.  It did make him think.  Life was too short at times.

***

Horatio woke up to the smell of blueberry muffins and coffee, making him moan.  "Tell me you ordered," he pleaded.

"Of course I ordered."  He kissed him, smiling at him.  "Marisol snuck up so Eric took her to breakfast.  The others are in the New York guys' rooms talking to them and comparing horror stories about me.  Therefore we get to have breakfast."

Horatio smiled and sat up, letting his mate put the tray across his lap.  "Is there another reason why it's a special breakfast in bed?"

"She snuck up shortly after you did," he offered with a smile.  Horatio paused, staring at him.  Xander nodded. "I think it took."  Horatio beamed at him.  "Daddy pride already?" he teased.

"Definitely."  He fixed his cup of coffee the way he wanted and opened a muffin, putting on some butter so he could take a bite.  He moaned.  "This is good."

"It is," Xander agreed, kissing his lips clean.  "The Chief said you needed the tux for last night and for the next PD dinner.  He's announcing his retirement then.  He said you've got to be there to show your support for the new guy."

"That's fine, Xander. I understand that."  He ate another bite and Xander kissed him clean again.  "Not hungry?"

"Not for blueberry muffins."

"Let me eat and then you can have whatever you're hungry for," he promised, grinning at his very wanton mate.  Xander settled back on his heels, watching him eat.  Horatio blushed under the intense stare, hurrying up some.  Once he had finished his first cup of coffee and the first muffin, the rest got put beside the bed and Xander pounced driving him back into the soft pillows.  It was good and hot and shameless.  His mate was definitely needing reassured.  He forced him onto his back so he could slow Xander down, making it slow and gentle, what he needed instead of what he wanted.  Xander gave him a few whimpers of need but he knew he was getting what he needed.  Xander finally gave in and let him have what he wanted, which was a sleepy mate.  He smiled up at him, tucking him back into his pajama pants. "There, better?"

"You need one," Xander said softly, reaching up to touch his cheek.

"I'm fine. You can get me when you wake up.  Go back to your nap and I'll finish breakfast."  Xander nodded, curling up beside him, one hand holding his.  It was a bit of a juggling act to get the food back, but his muffins were still warm so it was worth it.  He could reassure him again later.   This streak of insecurity wouldn't last for very long.

***

Willow sat down next to Marisol, smiling at her. "Congrats."

"How did you know?"

"Been there twice now, sweetie.  It's obvious to some of us."  She blushed and looked away.  "Hey, I'm the one who raised Xander. I'm doing an okay job on Toddy too so you can come to me if you need advice, okay?"  Marisol smiled and nodded.  "Good.  Now, how are we going to ignore Xander for the next few days while he's insecure?"

"He will be?"

"He's an only child, Marisol.  It's totally natural.  Ryan did the same thing for the first month, in between pouncing me.  He pouted majorly that he wasn't going to have all my attention.  All daddies go through it for a few weeks.  Again, totally natural."

"I guess it would be," she admitted, considering it.  "My sister's husband pouted and got demanding about her attention too."

"Yeah, that's the other output it can come out as.  I doubt it'll be that way with Xander and Horatio though."  She nodded, sipping her water.  "I always thought the more demanding they were, the more they had already shared the attention."

"He's the next-to-last of six children," Marisol agreed. That did make sense.  Her sister had put up with it.  "My sister tried gentle redirection and putting up with it."

"Redirection is good.  Noting the behavior will only make him feel bad for having a natural reaction.  He's always been that way."

Speed sat down across from her, on Marisol's other side. "That's because you jealously guarded Xander from other's attention for fourteen years, Willow."  She pouted. "You did.  Badly. You tried to drive Aiden and I off.  You tried to divert the attention Buffy and Rupert tried to pay him by being 'special girl Willow'.  Fortunately you're doing it now to Ryan."  She pouted at him.  "Not as often. You'll make one hell of an overprotective mother."  She shrugged, sipping her tea.  He looked at Marisol, who was looking confused.  "I was there for about eighteen months before they made me send Xander off, Marisol."  He patted her on the hand.  "Xander's only worry is that you'll take Horatio away from him.  His attention he can let him split.  The same as he does with Eric.  He'll realize that in a few days, the next time Horatio watches Eric for him."  She relaxed and smiled at that.  "He'll worry about you stealing Horatio forever and ever.  He did before too."

"That's not fair," Eric complained, coming over to sit down.  "Don't put that on her."

"No, Timmy's right," Willow told him. "She's the only major threat Xander ever saw to his marriage.  He's decided to share Horatio, which I think is very mature for Xander."  Speed glared at her.  "It is."

"It's not like that.  He knows Horatio can split his attention."  He looked at Marisol, grinning.  "Just ignore it for two weeks. By then Horatio will have reassured him that you're not going to steal him."

"Xander's scared that the bitch ex is right," Eric admitted.

"He has been, the whole time," Speed assured him.  "Even before they got together.  He didn't think Horatio would like him enough."  He looked at Marisol.  "You and the baby may, more than even Eric, reassure Xander that nothing is stealing Horatio.  That was a major shock and if I know him, he was ready to puke in fear about telling him."  She nodded quickly at that, sipping her water.  "Hey," he said, touching her hand.  "Don't worry about it.  Like Willow said, all new parents have this feeling, it's just you've got a double dosage with Xander's insecurities."

"He's a handsome and smart man," she protested.

"Marisol, honey, his parents sold him four times," Willow said quietly, glancing around, then back at her.  "When he first met Alexx I'm betting he tried to run."

"They were in the office and Alexx had him cornered against the windows," Eric told her, remembering that day.  "He was reaching toward his pockets."

"Probably for a weapon.  The boy has never been mothered.  Willow made up for some of that, but she's clingy and big-sistery.  Not motherly toward him.  What you get from your sisters, not your mother.  That sort of attention.  She couldn't be the mom, she's his age."  Willow nodded at that.

"How did the boy survive?" Marisol asked.  Willow raised her hand with a wry grin.  "There wasn't anyone to speak for him?  What about the mandatory reporting?"

"They did.  It was Sunnydale, Marisol.  Who gave a damn?  He was probably going to be dead before twenty-five statistically speaking," Willow said in a deadpan.  "That's a quote by the way, arranged more grammatically to the past tense."  She leaned back some.  "Let Horatio worry about Xander worrying himself into a fit. When Xander's worried he either carves stakes or he cleans.  After the fourth night in a row when Horatio comes home to a house that looks like Ryan cleaned it, a plateful of cookies, all the laundry done, and probably a naked mate, he'll get the clue."

Eric looked at her.  "Why don't you try to clean the kitchen?"

She grinned. "I'm waiting for him to snap, take me hard enough to make me pass out in there, then clean it, have me on it again, then clean it again."

"Only you two could make something like OCD into a sex game," Speed said, shaking his head.  She beamed at that.  He looked at Marisol.  "Don't worry, I'm going to be around too to make sure the baby's fine and normal.  As normal as it can be with Eric, Ryan, and Xander as uncles."  She giggled at that, swatting him. "Who's kidding?  Ryan's going to give the baby a DNA set for kids."

"They're nice though," she assured him.  "He's really fine?"

"He's dancing, it's just that small, last doubt," Eric assured her.  "He's a lot like our cousin, the one who came last year?"  She nodded, understanding that reference.  "Only it's been like that his whole life."

"But he's happy?"

"He's dancing. He's already jumped H after feeding him a good breakfast," Willow promised, grinning at her.  Eric and Speed both nodded.  "Something sweet?"

"Blueberry muffins and good coffee," Eric assured her.  She giggled at that.  "We stole half the coffee when we came out."  He looked at his sister, smiling at her.  "Remember what the other sister went through and multiply it by Xander.  It'll be fine.  Remember, you now have mood swings."  She smirked at that.  "Just don't have them on me or I won't come hold your hand while you're in labor."

"Do you think they'd be there?" Marisol asked.

"Xander passed out when he saw my water break," Willow told her.  "It's the only time I've ever seen Xander pass out.  Horatio was fairly calm.  He told me he's delivered one in the past.  I'd suggest Eric and Horatio with Xander playing messenger so he can come in and run away really fast."  Speed chuckled at that.  "You too if you and she ever have one."

"She's not ready yet."

Willow stared at him. "What was the one lesson you learned from Sunnydale, Timmy?"

"There's never enough time, especially if you plan," he sighed.  Eric groaned, slumping down.  "What?"

"I had that revelation last night."  His sister kicked him so he gave her a look.  "After you came in."

"You have enough time to quit being a slut and date for real, Eric."  She smiled sweetly.  "Momma would love that you know."

"I know, but I haven't found anyone that makes me that happy."

"It's the difference between diet chocolate without fat and real, good, Godiva chocolate," Willow agreed sadly.  "I've had it three times now."  Tim looked at her.  "Any word on Tara?"

"She's fine.  Angel's watching over her for you, Willow.  Haven't you been writing her?"

"Yeah, but it's painful.  Tara was my witch," she reminded him, pouting slightly.  "It was just as special as it was with Oz and is now with Ryan."

"Then you're a lucky woman, Willow Wolfe," Eric reminded her. "You've been hit three times.  That's more than I've had."  She nodded, giving him a hug. "Thanks.  I know there's someone out there."

"Maybe you and Don?" she teased.

He shook his head. "I like women way too much."

"Buffy's free and back to normal," she said with a smirk.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I'm sure she'll turn out really nice when she's finished growing up, but no.  I couldn't put up with the past you three share."

"It can be hard," Ryan agreed as he brought his coffee over.  He looked at Marisol. "Let me guess, they were warning you about the new parent pouts?"  She nodded, grimacing. "He'll be fine.  Horatio already realizes he's got them.  They were already noisy and I heard him reassuring him.  Remember, Horatio reads people very well.  So don't even try to hide morning sickness from him.  Though I wouldn't suggest you go on him," he offered with a small grin.  She giggled at that. "Willow did that once.  He didn't come back to work that day and I heard Xander spent the night with his dad."  Speed nodded, sipping his coffee.  "I'm sure he had the pre-parent pouts."

"Probably," Eric agreed, looking at him.  "Didn't you come down with us?"

"I forgot Todd.  Second time ever."

Willow looked at him.  "I did too.  Where is our son?"

"Bouncing up and down on Stella and Don."  He pointed at where the kids were tormenting Aiden and the others.  "Eric loves his grandmommy."  Speed nearly fell out of his chair at that mental image.  "Hey, Aiden?"  She brought the baby over, trying to hand him off.  "You don't love your grandson?"

"He's a tit hound.  Speed!"  He held up his arms, laughing. "Here, go to Grandpa."

Eric gave her the most pitiful pout with puppy eyes.  "I haven't seen that look since we cut Xander off chocolate for a month," Willow said, melting with it too.

Aiden snatched him back.  "No snuggling up to the tits, Eric.  I'm not a cow, you can't milk me for dinner."

"Cow?" he asked.

"That's where milk comes from."  He shook his head.  She nodded. "The normal milk does."

"No, big mommy!" he said, spreading his arms wide.  "Daddy say so!"

Don and Danny were howling in laughter.  Stella was swatting them and Mac just looked stunned.  "I thought he was joking when he said that earlier," Mac admitted.

"Which father told you that, kid?" Aiden asked.

"Daddy 'Oro said I right."

"Uh-huh."  She walked him up there, going to have the fathers cure that misconception right away.  Her pounding brought a half-dressed Horatio, who looked confused. "Tell him that."

"Milk comes from big mommy snuggles?  Daddy 'Oro?"

"The milk most people drink comes from cows, Eric, but the milk you used to drink came from your mother."  He looked confused.  "Ask your mother to explain it."

"Sure, lever it back onto the women," Aiden complained.

"I tried to explain it before."

Xander leaned around Horatio.  "Eric, milk in a glass comes from a moo, milk in a bottle comes from the big mommy snuggles."  His son beamed and nodded, pointing at his new favorite set.  "You still drink milk in a glass, not milk in a bottle, little man.  No more trying to nurse."

"They nice!" he complained.

"I know they are, and when your Ray Jr.'s age, you can have them back."  Eric beamed and nodded, liking that idea.  "As a matter of fact, you can ask him about his.  Okay?"  Eric beamed and nodded, looking at Aiden, giving her a hug.  "Anything else, mom?  I kinda wanna jump my man."

"Get your ass downstairs, son.  The rest of us are leaving tonight."

"I know but I'm still naked."

She rolled her eyes. "You have thirty seconds to dive into clothes or else I'm dragging you like that.  Then we'll see who stalks your ass."  He blushed and disappeared. "You too, Horatio.  Lazy.  You can do that at home!   How often do you get to see me?"

"Sorry, mom."  Xander came out dressed in a pair of jeans, without underwear, and a t- shirt, plus his sneakers.  He took the baby back.  "Come on."

"Xander, I swear, I know we had the talk about underwear!"  She pointed.  He slunk back that way, going to put some on, much to the amusement of his son, who clapped and cheered him doing it.  Horatio came out with the baby, blushing hard. Xander came out just as bright red. "What?  He try to touch too?"

"No, he was cheering me taking off my clothes," he pouted, taking his son back and heading down to the restaurant.  He wiggled in between Speed and Marisol, grinning at her.  "When can we go for the test?"

"Three weeks," she promised, patting him on the wrist.  "I promise, you can come to the important checkups too."  He beamed at that and nodded. "You can even help us decorate the nursery if you want."  Eric shook his head.  "Why not? I like how he did his."

"I did theirs," Speed assured her.  "Xander was going to put up mermaids and whales and all sorts of sea creatures and paint the walls blue."

"That's cute," Marisol cooed.  She grinned at Xander. "We'll see."  He nodded, bouncing some. Horatio walked up behind her, putting a hand on Xander's head to hold him down.  She giggled at that.  "That's so cute."

"He's going to float soon."

"Did you feed him chocolate?" Willow demanded.

"No," Horatio said, sitting down on Ryan's other side.

"Stimulant lube?" Speed asked, leaning on Xander's shoulder to keep him in his seat.

"No," Horatio noted.  "Aiden interrupted."

"Horatio, that's why elevators have a 'stop' button," Ryan reminded him with a grin.

"Weren't you suspended for four days for that?" Eric taunted.

"Yes but it was worth it, and I couldn't walk the next three anyway," Ryan admitted.

"TMI!" Speed said, covering his ears.  "Oooh, TMI, TMI.  Bad enough I walked in on Willow and Oz."

"That's what we thought," Willow agreed dryly.  She looked at her mate.  "Car sex?"

"Only if I get to clean your car.  It's a wreck again."

"The guy who hit me barely dented the front fender."  She covered her mouth and inched her chair back, taking off running at the look on his face.

He got up, chasing after her.  "What do you mean you were in an auto accident, Willow!  You're pregnant!"

"It's never boring in Miami," Eric said, shaking his head.  "Maybe that's why I don't get married," he told his sister, who shook her head.  "No?"

"You enjoy the insanity, it's like a hobby for you."  He grinned at that.  "You know, Lisa is single again."

"Yeah, and looking for husband number three," he complained.  "I'm not a rich playboy, Marisol."

"Fine, spoil my happy mood, Eric," she said with a small pout.

"The last time I saw her she called me a stuck up bastard trying to date outside my station because I was in an upper crust club."

"True, she is a bit judgmental."

"Just a bit, like elephants weigh just a bit."  One of the waiters came over and whispered in Horatio's ear, getting a moan and him walking off.  "What do you want to bet they drove  someone out of the elevators and did it again?" he quipped.

"She was heading for the women's bathroom," Xander told him. "They probably drove some grannies out."

Speed put his head down on the table.  "I don't want to think about those two and sex.  Please?"

"Yeah, I thought I was wild until he took up with Willow, then OCD became a sex game," Eric agreed, patting him on the back.  "She'll put a glass out, watch Ryan twitch, then pounce it to clean it up and then 'teach her better' through long, hot sex."  Speed growled at him.  "Sorry, man.  You and Calleigh could do some interesting stuff."

"I'm not like Ryan," Calleigh called from the other table.  "Sorry, Eric, hate to burst the mental porn."  That table laughed at that.

He looked over.  "Don't you wish, Calleigh.  Sorry, dear, not my type.  No woman of mine should ever love any weapon more than me and mine."  Both tables and a few others laughed at that.

"It's not like she brings them to bed," Speed muttered.  Marisol giggled at that, leaning on Xander, who supported her and patted her on the back. "She doesn't!"

"That's probably a good thing.  Horatio made me quit sleeping with a knife finally too."  Horatio came back shaking his head.  "Bathroom?"

"Stairs."  He sat down with a sigh, noticing the blushes.  "What?"

"Calleigh and Eric were teasing each other."

"Ah.  Good."  He looked at Eric.  "Settle down with someone sane.  Please?  Nothing near Willow."

"I should probably complain," Xander noted dryly, grinning at his mate.

Marisol gave him a hug. "You're just as bad, Xander."  She patted him on the cheek. "But I did like your taste in tuxes."

"That way people stare at him instead of me."

"Works for me," she agreed.  Willow and Ryan came back blushing but holding hands.  They sat down again.  Horatio got up and moved Willow into his seat, sitting between them.  That started off a new round of giggles.  "Where should I go see tomorrow?" she asked Xander.  He'd been stuck here for two weeks, he probably had some idea.  He pointed at Don, making her grin.  "He made you go?"

"He drew me a map.  I'll give it to you."  He grinned at Horatio, then at Willow.  "How bad of a dent was it?"

"Nothing that I couldn't bang out easily.  He ran the stoplight by the house."  Ryan looked down at her.  "An officer responded."

"Which one?" he asked sweetly.

"Not like I'm going to tell you," she snorted.  "I doubt Horatio wants you to go yelling at someone."

Speed looked at her.  "He'll do it anyway and get more involved when he demands to know who it was."  She blushed at that.  "So, male, female?  That way we can narrow it down?"

"It was Brad, wasn't it?" Ryan asked flatly.  She nodded. "Horatio, this guy is stalking her. He's got to be.  He's always there when she's alone."

"We live on the same street," she complained.

"His patrol route is on the *other* side of the city, Willow.  Why was he there when you had a slight crash?"

"Oh.  I didn't know that."

"Can I talk with him?" Xander asked, looking perky again.

"Stand in line," Ryan said dryly.  Xander slumped again, shrugging some. "You can have him if I leave anything."

"Okay."  He grinned.  "Oh, Willow, Toby wants to know if you can translate some of stuff on your shelves too."

"Is that how you get the weapons?" Speed asked.  Xander nodded.  He shook his head, putting it back down. "I need to go back to bed."

"You can sleep on the plane, Speed," Eric soothed, patting him. "Xander, did you remember the plane ticket?"

"I did.  I got it when Fornell told me I could go.  I'm off the no-fly list, finally!"  He beamed.  "Now all I have to do is stop my last stalker and we'll be fine."

"Stalker?" everyone asked, looking from him to Horatio.  Who nodded.

"We've got it handled, right, H?" Eric asked.

"It's fine, Eric.  She's been handled.  She'll be stopping within the month."  That got a sigh of relief all around the table.  "I only worry about the one from the other day."

Xander snorted, waving a hand.  "She had a weapon and me in handcuffs in front of cops.  She took a potshot at one of the cops.  If she gets off, I'm so kicking a Judge's ass.  Maybe I can get someone up here to run."

"Oooh, his poll numbers are up.  He's second up from the spot where there'd be too many judges," Willow said happily.  "When asked, someone said they thought it was great that he didn't run negative ads."  Ryan preened at that news.  "How did Erica do on the story?"

"It got picked up and then the arrest got picked up by the national news.  I'm sure she's dancing around happily," Ryan said, winking at her.  He leaned back.  "Hey, guys, can I have the son back?"

"I'm not done remembering why I take the pill," Stella called. "In an hour or so."

"Sure."  He sat up again.

Willow looked back. "He's not that bad."

"He is, and he scowled so hard last night when Ryan and you kicked him out, pouting and scowling at mama," Eric agreed.

"He spoke?"  She looked at Ryan.  "Our baby spoke and you didn't tell me?"

"I did tell you but that was right before I dove back in."

"I was brainless by then!" she complained, reaching around Horatio to swat him.  "Meany!"  She got up and went over there.  "Toddy, can you say mama for mommy?"

"Art!"

"Tell me you guys didn't teach my son to say fart!" she demanded.  Don broke out laughing so she hit him a few times, taking her son back.  "Come on, Toddy, back here where there's nicer guys.  Good thing Uncle Xander didn't date the Danny or else you'd be really warped by now."

"Hey!  It wasn't me!" Danny defended.

"It was me," Don called.

"I'm returning the favor, Flack!"

"I'm not having any, they'd be baby Xanders too!"

She looked at him. "Wanna bet?"  He went pale.  "You wanna be the mommy too?"   He shook his head and went for a run.  "Good idea," she called after him.  She settled in with her son.  "Say mama?"

"Art!" he said, beaming with pride.

"Well, art is a good thing, son, farting is not," Ryan said, taking him.  "Say Mama, Toddy."

"Mama art oo!"

"That was baby Eric's fault," Aiden offered, coming over.  "Eric was talking about moos."  She hugged Todd. "Don't worry, it'll be okay. Your daddy will make you a normal boy, Toddy."

"Xander's making him into a cross between him and me," Ryan said dryly.  "All the kids around Xander are going to become little Xander's."

"See, another good reason for me to never have any," Eric said happily.  The baby patted him so he picked him up to cuddle him.  "I've got you and Marisol's baby, what do I need another one for, huh, Eric?"

Eric smiled at him.  "'ove you!  Moo!"

"You want a cow?"  Eric beamed.  "If I can find one.  I have no idea where I'd find a cow."

"We'll go visiting a farm," Xander assured him.  "It'll be educational and fun.  He can watch a cow be milked. Maybe he can even pet a horsy."  Eric looked at him.  "The big thing in the park with the carriage?  Would you like to see one of those?"  Eric smiled and nodded.  "Then I'll see if I can find one we can visit."

"The local preschools go to one," Horatio offered.  "Call them."

"I don't want him in preschool.  He's too young."

"He is but they could tell you where the farm is."

"True.  Maybe they'd do that."  He held out his arms but his son shook his head and beamed.  "Why not?"

"Ini cwothes."

"Eric, have you been taking my son out to pick up women!" Xander demanded.  Eric blushed and nodded. "Don't do that!  He's not old enough yet.  Bring Ray Jr.  He's good at it."

"Yeah but he steals all mine."

"The curse of being young, cute, and a Caine," Horatio said with a perfectly straight face.

Speed looked at him, then at Xander.  "You either did it too much or too little, Xander.  Fix it. We want *our* Horatio back before we have to tell Yelina he made that joke."

"Raymond said it first," he offered with a grin. "Frank took her gun and walked her off before she killed him for it."

Horatio nodded.  "He did.  She was still shrieking and screaming at him when he waved and smiled.  Ray, of course, punched his father again and assured his mother it was more than being a Caine, it was the best of both sets of DNA, hers and mine."  Everyone giggled at that, Marisol leaning on Xander again. "Xander, the bill?"

"Already taken care of, Horatio.  I prepaid this time too."  He got up and went to make sure, getting back a report of a phone call.  He put down the fifty cents for that and got a smile.  "We'll be checking out in about two hours, I wanted to make sure. Horatio reminded me."

"That's fine, sir.  Thank you for staying with us during this difficult time."  He grinned and went back there. She made a note on their rooms and filed that receipt.

***

Xander walked into the house and flopped down on the couch, smiling and falling asleep.

Ray came out of the office, then looked at his uncle.  "Wear him out joining the mile high club?"

"Not hardly. The babies wore him out keeping them occupied.  They hate to fly."  He looked his nephew over.  "Doing the checkbooks again?"

"Mom's having a date over."  He rolled his eyes.  "My mom's pretty and all but I don't want to know if she's loud during sex.  I got enough of that with Stetler.  By the way, Sykes called.  She said thank you but you're still mean to her. Mom gave me the message when I left to make sure Speed liked his birthday present.  They weren't sure what to give him."  Horatio nodded that he had.  "Good.  We figured at least one other person hadn't had a clue."  He shrugged. "So I'm hiding in the office.  Eric?"  Horatio pointed at his back.  "Let me help."  He got the baby out of the backpack and handed him back, letting Horatio put him down. Ray looked at Xander then smiled and went to warm up some more frozen milk.  "Uncle Horatio, the milk has been frozen for weeks now."

"I noticed the refrigerator was broken, Ray.  I'll let Xander fix it tomorrow."

"Did he put any of that check into the bank?"  Horatio nodded.  "Would we be adverse to me taking some of mine out?"

"Your mother would be."

"Damn."

"Why, Ray?"

"Well, I have a girlfriend, and I don't mean like dating but a female friend who I like as a friend.  I kinda stopped her from slitting her wrists yesterday and she told me why."  He sipped the milk, then grimaced.  "It's bad now."  He poured it out and rinsed out the glass, then his mouth.  "She's in a lot of trouble."

"Like knocked up trouble?"  Ray nodded.  "By?"

"She won't tell me but that's why it's a problem."

"Okay," he said, considering it.  "Is it something that could get someone into legal trouble?"

"She's over the age of consent.   You've met Heidi, right?"  Horatio moaned and nodded.  "Think about her parents.  He's a minister.  He'll kill her, Uncle Horatio.  I told her I'd see if I could get it out for her, even if I had to lie to mom, but I don't want to lie to you."

"How much?"

"Four-eighty at the good place downtown."  Horatio hissed. "I know, it's a lot, but I do have it."

"Let us talk tonight, Ray.  Including to your mother.  That way it doesn't get back to her."

"You're way braver than I am," he noted dryly.

"That comes with age and knowing how she draws her weapon."  He smiled at him.  "Go to bed, Ray.  It's late."  He nodded, going into the office to call her to make sure she was all right.  Then he went to bed.  Horatio waited until he was asleep to take the cordless phone outside to talk to his sister-in-law.  "Yelina.  Are you alone and awake?"  He smiled.  "He's napping.  No, leave him.  No, but he did want to ask for something and he didn't want to be in the same state as you. You know his friend Heidi?"  She described her and dissed her parents.  "Exactly.  He said he found her ready to cut her wrists because she's pregnant.  Not his," he said quickly while she was drawing breath.  She let it out again.  "He wanted to help her with the fees to preserve her life."  He considered it.  "Xander could probably find more things for him to do to earn it," he agreed. "No, he said he'd lie to you about it but not me."  He listened to her. "I'm not either but with that girl's parents I'm not so sure we won't have a new body if they find out."  She said something wise.  "Of course.  Tomorrow right after school?"  He smiled.  "That's fine.  I'll let him know.  I'll make sure he gets there.  Have a better night."  He hung up and considered the ocean.  Either Ray was lying or he was a saint or it was his.

Xander came out to whisper in his ear, getting a moan. "Yes, before you ask, I'm sure.  She didn't find out until afterward.  He asked me where the clinic was again so he could go with her for the first one."  Horatio nodded at that.  "If she won't, I will.  I wouldn't curse a baby to that life, Horatio."

"I can agree to that.  Thank you, Xander."  He patted his hand, smiling back at him. "Ready for bed?"

"Of course."  He winked.  "Aren't you tired too?"

"Just a bit. I could lie down."  He got up, securing the house before following his mate into their bedroom and shutting the door.

"Moooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Eric called, then cackled.

Xander opened the door. "Sleep, son.  No more mooing tonight.  Or no moos for real."

"Mmmmmmmmmmooooooooooooooooooooooooooo."

Xander shook his head, going to get his son to sleep so he could have sex.

***

Speed looked at Horatio as he trudged in.  "Long night?"

"Your grandson woke us up by mooing every few minutes."  Speed looked at him oddly.  "Really.  Kept us both up and Ray Jr."  He headed for his office.  "Do we have a case yet?"

"No, but Ryan called in.  He broke and cleaned the kitchen."  Horatio stopped and looked at him.  "He can't come in, she's in preterm labor.  They think they've got it stopped and she's praying hard to the Goddess."

Horatio nodded. "I'll have forms filled out for him and call him in about an hour."

"That's fine.  He's at the same place where they had Toddy."  He shrugged.  "Eric made it in.  So apparently he had a short night too."  Horatio cracked a smile and continued the trek to his office. "Calleigh's bouncing around ballistics.  I'm here, Alexx is here and humming.  Who do you want to take over Ryan's case?"

"Pick," he decided, waving a hand. Speed grunted and went to tell them that.   Horatio sat behind his desk, smiling when Yelina brought him in some coffee.  "My son is demented.  He mooed all night."  She giggled at that.  "Every few minutes.  Not even Ray and Xander together could get him to go to sleep."

"Ray did that for about a week after a trip to the farm."

"We had to explain to him that milk in a glass came from a moo, milk in a bottle was from the mother.  He finally got that and that he was too big to drink from the mother, at least until he was Ray Jr.'s age."  She giggled again, sitting down.  "Did you talk to her?"

"I did.  What Xander told you was right.  So?"

"If he wants to, I'll agree to him taking it or Xander said he could find him some menial tasks."

"I'll let him take it out.  My son is a good man, better than his father.  I did talk to him about it.  He threw a fit, couldn't get past that she was asking him."

"Ray had that scare himself twice."

"He never told me that."

"Girlfriend in high school."  He yawned and leaned back.  He snapped to standing when his boss came in.  "Problems, sir?"

"You looked good in that tux, Horatio.  Tell your mate nice job."  He looked him over.  "Celebrating?"

"My son moos."

"Huh?"

"He went 'moo' all night long," Yelina told him. "It's a Caine thing.  Ray Jr. did it too."

"Okay."  He nodded.  "So you got no sleep?"  Horatio nodded. "Try to make it through the day if you can, Horatio.  Anything else?"

"Ryan Wolfe's wife is in preterm labor.  I'm going to be filling out forms for family leave."

"That's fine. Not like he could plan that. Any idea if it's a problem or not?"

"They overdid it cleaning up the kitchen from what he said," Horatio said with a straight face.

"So, sex?  I did that to my son, but he wasn't that early.  Any idea on your thing with Marisol?"

"We think it did take and that I'll be a father in just under a year, sir.  How did you hear about that?"

"I hear many things, Horatio."  He smirked. "Two weeks, you must be there.  That is an order.  You as well, Yelina."  He walked off, going to talk to someone up the hall.

Horatio sat down.  "Any idea why?"

"No.  I know he's announcing his retirement. I understand why you, to make a statement the lab is behind the new person."  She smiled at him. "Where's your award?"

"At home in my office.  Supervisor of the Year," he said proudly.  "Stunned me to no end.  Don won Cop of the Year."  She smiled at that.  "The FBI got stopped."

"I saw.  I also saw that he was highly bruised.  You?"

"He had Xander.  Xander fought back."  She nodded, looking wise.  "He bit him once too."

"More blood tests?"

"A man like that? I doubt he's not always careful so that nothing can sully his body or reputation.  He was certainly careful with the homicides.  It got Mac out of some boring things to go out on it."

"Good.  Now, what am I getting for the holidays?"

The Chief stepped back in.  "Your son is here, Detective Salas, and he's not looking happy.  Any idea why?"

"No.  He didn't get any sleep last night either thanks to baby Eric.  Send him up please."  That got a nod and he went to do that.  Ray walked in and dropped something on the desk, then faced her.  "Son, that's a knife and there's blood on it."

"I took it from Heidi's father.  He found out.  He pulled her out of the clinic by her hair and was using it on her throat.  They've already called a detective.  I thought you'd rather hear it first.  Can we take a statement here?" he asked, looking calm.

"Is her father living?" Horatio asked.

"All but one of his kidneys probably.  I kicked him in one," Ray admitted.  "Frank got called, mom."

"I'll call Frank, tell him the weapon is here," Horatio said.  "Take him down and have someone neutral to us take his statement, Yelina."  She nodded.  "Stay with him as his parent."  He called Frank.  "Frank, Horatio.  Ray's here.  He brought the knife with him."  He looked at it.  "No, it's on my desk.  It was in his hand.  Is she living?"  He sighed and nodded. "Is he living?  Thank you.  Whoever answers, remember to have them pull the tape."  He hung up and got up, walking out of his office and closing the door.  "Phil!" he called, seeing the IAB officer they worked with.  He came jogging up.  "Ray just took a knife from a father killing his daughter for being pregnant.  He dropped it on my desk. I need someone else to bag it for proper evidence control.  Yelina's with him as a mother."

"Got it."  He went to get a bag off one of the techs then do that.  He came out with it.  "It's a pretty knife.  The daughter all right?"

"We're not sure yet.  Paramedics got there in time. Ray told them what was going on.  Thank you."

"Not a problem.  I'll make sure she's got a trashcan with a liner in it."  He went to do that, seeing the CSI assigned.  "Are you sure you can, Calleigh?"

"I'm not one of the ones Ray Jr. hangs out with," she assured him, taking the dagger.  "Thank you.  I'm heading out now.  Where is he?"

"Here."

"That's fine. Have someone neutral take his statement.  Let his mom be his mom this time."  She headed off with her kit.

***

Ray walked into Xander and Horatio's house, flopping down beside Xander, hugging him.  "I'm okay.  I'm in the clear."

Xander cuddled him, pulling him closer.  "Let it go, Ray."  He nodded, letting it go now.  "Shh, I've got you. You're safe.  She's alive and they told the doctors what you said.  They'll do it there if they can."  Ray nodded, sobbing against his shoulder.  "Shh, it's all right, Ray."  His father walked in. "Out, Ray."

Ray looked up and glared. "Do you mind!" he snapped.

"Yeah, I kinda do."  He walked over and squatted in front of him.  "Are you okay?"

"Do I look okay!" he shrieked, getting up to face him.  Xander stood up and leaned on the back of the couch, out of the way but there if he needed him.  His father faced him down.  "I'm not okay!  One of my best friends nearly died!  From her father's hand!  I was going to kill him for it!  I stopped!"

"Good.  The rest makes you human, son."  Ray just stared at him.  "This is grief, just like you did with me. It's right to grieve and it's right to be upset. It's right to rant and scream or cry if you want.  That means you're human and not psychotic or anywhere near sociopathic."  Ray sniffled, looking at him.  "Remember, your mom and I have been here too," he said more gently.  "We don't mind you coming to your uncle and Xander.  They've been here, I've been there.  I've actually killed people in the line of duty."  Ray sniffled again.  "Just know that this is a *normal* reaction, the same as the doubts and the nightmares are."  He nodded, moving forward to hug him.  Xander nodded him to the bedroom so he took him in there, going to comfort his son.

Xander called Horatio.  "Sr.'s got Jr. and he's still okay.  Crying.  Our bedroom."  He smiled.  "Thanks, babe."  He hung up and went to find some tissues for them and make some cocoa.  Cocoa always made him feel better.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"In a minute, Eric!  Let me do something and then I'll come let you out!"  His son cackled.

"Eric, take a nap!" Ray Jr. called. "Please!"

Xander giggled and brought the tray into the bedroom.  "Here, the best I can do with a wonky fridge.  I'll go get the sprout up. Stay in here as long as you need to, guys."  He left them alone, going to let his son down and out.  His son stared at his bare chest and poked his nipple, then looked up at him.  "No, only mommies can make milk for bottles. I'm still a daddy."  He lifted him down, letting him head to the bathroom, then took him downstairs to play.  "Let's go into the office, little man.  Daddy needs to find us a new fridge."  Eric followed, still mooing.  He sat down and his son climbed into his lap, helping him go shopping.  He did some price shopping then got up to measure the space, coming back to find the one he wanted.  He called the office.

"Mooooo!"

Xander grinned.  "The son says hi too.  Did you want a side-by-side or a freezer on top or a freezer on the bottom?"  He listened to Horatio.  "I can do any of those.  One of the nicer places that has warranties has a 'buy online, have it delivered from the local store' option."  He listened to him. "Just like the last one?  How long did it last?"  He counted back, then shook his head.  He found that one on the site.  "Horatio, it's two hundred higher than the one Consumer Reports liked best in that category and size."  He rolled his eyes.  "Are you *sure*?  The other is rated for ten years."  He checked.  "It's listed as two to three days to deliver.  The other is listed as same day/next day after three."  He checked the clock. "It's only noon."

"Moooo!"

"And he's hungry."  He smiled.  "Please let me get the good one? Same company, different model?  Really, the one in the hidey hole that no one saw," he admitted. "Yeah, that one."  He grinned.  "Good?"  He nodded.  "Thank you, dear."  He hung up before any more orders could be given.  He ordered that one and paid for it, then smiled at his son.  "Let's get you some new tapes and books."  He went to their book site, the one Speed liked, logging on under his name but selecting his profile.  He got him a few new tapes and books, especially one on farm animals, then paid for it and clicked the 'send it now' button.   The phone rang so he answered it. "Caine residence.  This is he."  He smiled.  "Please.  Ours is broken. It's freezing stuff but letting it rot."  He smiled.  "That's fine.  I can clean out the old one with the son and you can haul it away if you can get the new one here today."  He smiled.  "Thank you.  That's our address. I'll be here."  He hung up and answered the other beeping line.  "Caine's."  He listened.  "That's us.  Yup.  Please, at least the one on farm animals."  He poked his son.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

"That's why," Xander said blandly, getting a laugh. "Please?  Thank you!  We love you guys.  We thank Speed each time we order.  Yup, the whole lab got you guys from him."  He beamed. "He might like that.  He recently got some gift certificates."  He giggled. "That's cool.  We'll be here waiting on a new fridge.  Thank you, Serena."  He hung up and looked at his son, then closed down the computer and took him to clean out the fridge.  He got up to close the bag, pulling it out of the can.  "One of you two come watch Eric!  I'm taking out trash!" he called.

"Can't it wait!" Ray Sr. called.

"No, they're coming to replace the fridge.  It stinks."

They both came out to grab the baby and bring with them, making him laugh and giggle at that.  Xander hauled out the trash, coming back to get the freezer stuff, which was mostly ruined too.  Then he took out the fridge bulb.  No sense in wasting it.  He also lysoled the path from the fridge to the garage.  That had really stunk.  He didn't want that on his kid.  He walked over at the knock, smiling at the book delivery.  "Thank you, Goddess."  He signed the slip and got a kiss on the cheek.  "Have a nice day."

"FART!" Eric yelled.

Xander sighed and shook his head.  "He's playful today.  His Uncle Don taught him that word."  She giggled and left.  He went to give those to Ray.  "One's a tape and book on farm animals."

"I noticed he was mooing early," Sr. said with a grin.

"We had to explain, again, why milk in a bottle comes from the mommy and milk in a glass comes from a moo."  He went back to his kitchen, going to make a list of what they'd need replaced.  Someone else knocked.  He went to answer it.  "Hey, Marisol.  I'm dealing with the busted fridge.  It switched sides, the freezer was a balmy forty-four and the fridge was subzero."  She giggled at that.  "Help me make out the grocery list?"  She nodded, but first she sprayed the inside of the fridge with lysol.  "Thanks, I did the floors where I had to drag out the trash."

"Coocoococococ!" Eric crowed.

"Nearly," he called.  "New books," he said with a beaming smile.  "One on farm animals with a *tape*."

She hugged him, patting him on the back.  "It'll be okay, Xander."

"He mooed all night, Marisol.  Every few minutes it was a moo."  His son barked.  "At least it's not a moo."  He heard the bark again and looked around.  "Did you bring the  dog?"

"No, it's at his master's house.  Why?"  She heard another bark and they both groaned, going out to shoo off the stray, pitiful, starved looking dog.  "No, Xander, he could be sick!" she protested, pulling him back.  "He could be really sick.  Go call the pound. They'll get him treated."

"They'd put him down."

"They won't.  Go call.  I'll watch him."  She got a bit of food out of the cabinet, what else was potted meat good for but animal food.  The dog dug in with a happy bark.  Two guys came around the house, giving her a look. "Animal control?"

"My sister's dog, she's sick," one of them offered. "Here, Blackie."  The dog growled.

"I'm going to wait for the dog catcher.  He'll make that decision since the dog doesn't like you."

"Lady, it's our dog!" the other one complained.

Ray Jr. came out, looking at them, his father behind them.  "Issues?" he asked, staring them down.  They took off running.  "Good."  He looked at her, then at the dog.  "We'll keep Eric from seeing him," he said, going to find the baby and make sure he didn't see or hear the dog.  He'd howl for days for a dog.

Ray Sr. looked at it.  "I've seen crack hos who have more weight on them."

"They claimed it was their sister's dog and she's sick."

"Uh-huh," Ray Sr. said, nodding.  "I so believe that too."  One of them came back with a gun so he pulled his. "I'm a former cop. The owner here is a cop.  You're in deep shit, boy."  He glared, raising his shotgun higher.

Xander walked up behind him, cocking his gun and pressing it against his skull.  "Down, now," he growled.  The guy dropped his gun.  "Knees."  He dropped.  "Handcuffs?"  Ray Jr. tossed out a set.  "Thank you."  He cuffed him and pushed him into the sand.  He walked back inside.  "Ray, the baby?"

"In the bedroom watching the tape."

"Good, I don't want him getting attached to that dog."  He heard a truck pull in and went to let the delivery guys in, smiling at the new one.  "Thank you."  He hugged them.  "This way, guys."  He saw the dog catcher, pointing around the house.  "Out back by the porch."  They nodded, parking and heading that way.

Ray came in to help the delivery guys move the fridge.  Then he called Horatio.  "Brother, your husband is very good at menacing those with a gun.  No, a stray came up and then two guys came up claiming it was their dog.  Emaciated.  I've seen more weight on a crack ho.  Marisol's feeding it to keep it calm and here.  One of them came back with a shotgun.  He and I traded insults, Xander got him down then cuffed.  He's in the sand.  The dog catchers are here for the mutt.  Your son now has books and tapes on animals so he's doing more than mooing."  He hung up, heading that way after signing Xander's name to the slip.  "Thanks, guys."  He initialed it with a wink. "In case anyone asks.  I'm his secretary, Ray."  That got a nod and they left after his son tipped them.  "That's nice of you."

"Mom told me to always tip delivery guys."  He shrugged, going to check on the baby then outside.  "Will he be all right?"

"I'm not sure," the dog catcher admitted. "He's really skinny and it looks like he's been zapped a few times with a tazer or something."  Xander growled.  He looked at the man in the sand.  "You might want to turn his head, sir.  That way he doesn't suffocate." Xander went to do that, then came back.  "We'll test his blood and all that stuff.  He might make a good adoption dog when he's cleaned up and fed more.  Did they have a name?"

"They called him Blackie but he growled," Marisol offered, pointing at the growling.  She nudged the food closer and the dog ate again.

"I'll make note of that," he promised with a smile.  "Thank you, guys."  He picked up the food and the dog followed it right to his truck.  The patrol officer parked behind him but he waved him around the house. "He's face down in the sand, his gun beside him."

"He's not the first we've gotten here.  Can you get around me?"  That got a nod and the ASPCA truck pulled around him and out.  He walked back there, shaking his head at the guy.  "What an idiot.  Over a dog?"

Xander looked at him and shrugged. "Yeah. Over a very abused dog according to him.  One that growled hard at the name he called him."

"Ooh, interesting."  He hauled him up and grabbed the gun. "You pat him down?"

"No, I doubted he was going to move.  Those are Horatio's spares."

"I'll give 'em back to him, sir."  He walked the guy off, dropping him when the other one came over with a shotgun. "Put it down!  I'm still a cop!"

"Jesus, is this Day of the Walking Morons?" Ray Jr. called, coming out the front door. "Put it the fuck down!" he called, imitating one of his classmates.  The guy dropped it.  "Good!  Now surrender!  Tell him everything!"   He babbled at him about his experiment and serum.  "Jesus," he muttered, heading in to play with the baby.  That way he'd be smarter than that.

Sr. looked at Xander, opening his mouth.  "He goes to school with a bunch of the offspring," he offered. "Plus he watched it on HBO."

"No wonder my boy sounded like some mafia thug."  He went to talk to his son.

Xander looked at Marisol. "It's not always like this.  Wanna go grocery shopping with me?  Horatio deserves dinner when he gets home."  She nodded.  "We're going to the store."

"Can I have some peppermints?" Sr. called.

"If I must," Xander agreed, adding it to the list.  "Anything else?"

"Ice cream. The last was dead."

"Sure."  He added that too, making Marisol giggle. "I know, I spoil everyone horribly. At least Horatio returns it," he said with a small smile.  He took her out to his car, doing both alarms but nothing went off. He let her in then got in to drive, heading for their usual grocery store.  The clerk smiled.  "New fridge syndrome."  She giggled.  "Did I grab my wallet?"  He patted himself down and sighed, handing her the list.  "Do that for me, I'll be right back."  She nodded, walking off with the cart to start while he went back for his wallet.  He came back and found her in the meat department, choosing some very nice pork chops.  "Thank you, I wanted some of those."  She smiled at him.  "Thick enough to be stuffed too."  She nodded, pointing at the cart. "Having a silent day?" he teased.

"I'm watching the master fusser," she teased.  "I've never seen you in full fuss mode."

"Don't worry, you'll hate it soon," he promised with a grin.

"Darkness?" some woman asked.  He looked at her.  "Who's she?  I thought you had a husband."

"I do, this is the woman who's giving us a second child.  She's helping me grocery shop since I can't cook."

"Oh.  Are you going back?"  He shook his head. "Pity."  She pouted.  "Please?  I wanted to show my daughter how good you were."

He shook his head.  "Nope, sorry. Horatio would throw fits if I even thought about it."  She pouted off.  He shook his head, pointing at some steaks.  "Those?"

"They're thin and tough, Xander."

"Okay. That's what I use for jerky."

"I realize that."  She patted him on the arm. "Did you adjust the recipe?"

"Yeah, but it made me so horny I about killed myself and Horatio was already collapsed long before then."  She giggled at that.  "Seriously.  It was strong too."  He got some of that anyway, in case he wanted to experiment.  Then she picked out some stuff for the grill.  He added more of that stuff, earning a smile. "Eric eats his own weight every day."

"He does," she agreed, walking off with him.  Her phone rang.  "Speak of the worrywart."  She answered it.  "Yes?"  She listened. "No, Momma, I'm with Xander grocery shopping.  The baby's with both Rays at the house.  Of course. We'll be done here in a few minutes. Xander had to replace the refrigerator.  It was broken."  She looked at him then said something rapid-fire spanish, making him smirk.  "You're learning?"

"Of course, half of Miami speaks it, Marisol."  He grinned at her.  "I'm a man of many talents.  Tell your mom bye so we can get home sooner."

"Momma, we've got to get home," she said, saying something else in Russian, making him groan.  "Ha!  Don't know that one."

"Why can't you speak English," some redneck complained.

Xander glared back at him. "She does.  She was born here, asshole."  He glared back.  Xander turned fully, arms over his chest.  "Back down. I'm married to a cop. She's the sister of a cop."  The guy sneered and patted his gun.  Xander shrugged.  "Yay.  You've got one, mine's actually legal."  He looked at Marisol.  "Go ahead without me, sweetie."  She nodded, hurrying on.  "Maybe you should reread the history books.  Even the Native Americans came from somewhere else.  Get over it."  He walked off, shaking his head at the store security guard.  "He started it," he said as he walked past him.

"I heard.  You are?"  Xander grinned and flipped open his wallet to his college ID.  "That's fine, sir."  Xander went back to helping Marisol, who was shaky.  He came over a few minutes later.  "The management is making him leave but it'll be a few minutes."

"That's fine, he was patting his gun," Xander said quietly.  That got a nod and he reported that while they finished their list.  He let her head to the register, going for the peppermints.

"Remember, pesos are the funny colored ones," the redneck sneered.

"I'm Russian and Cuban.  We don't use pesos.  Maybe you should study that subject as well."  She smiled at the cashier.  "Ignore him.  I was talking to my mother about Xander's birthday and he didn't like that."  She offloaded the cart until someone grabbed her arm.  Then the hand was removed and the guy was howling in pain.

Xander pulled him back further and let him go, then stepped over him.  "Next time, don't try a woman, asshole.  Real men don't try to harm women or weaker beings.  That's why you're still alive."  He handed over his card, smiling at her.  "Ray's peppermints."  He put them onto the belt, earning a smile.  "Need more help, Mar?"

"No, I'm good," she promised quietly.  "What did you do to him?"

"I squeezed a nerve point which causes pain.  That's all I did to him."  He felt the movement and pushed her forward, making her stumble into the cart while he turned to block the hit coming.  The guy pulled his gun.  "Oooh, yay you."  He stepped inside his guard, broke his wrist and made him drop the gun, leaving him on the ground howling and cradling his wrist.  "Not polite.  Didn't your mother or someone teach you manners?"  He huffed and looked at the manager.  "I'm very sorry he's disturbing the store.  We don't hold it against you for who shops here," he said, glaring at him.  "Or how he tried to attack my friend."  He backed off.  He looked at the manager again.  "He's probably very sorry."

"Can you stay to help us report the incident?"

"Sure."  He handed Marisol the keys.  "Can you handle my sports car?"

"I've driven faster," she promised, looking at him.

He looked her over.  "You okay? I didn't hurt you?"

"I caught myself when I stumbled," she assured him.

He smiled and kissed her on the forehead, taking his card back.  He waved as she was walked outside by the security guard. He looked at the manager again.  "He did start it.  I walked away each time until he resorted to physical violence."

"I saw, sir.  Your name?"

"Harris."

"That's fine, I've seen you in here before, Mr. Harris."  He smiled at the cops coming in, pointing at the man on the floor.  "He was picking on a young woman with Mr. Harris."  The cops gave him a scared look and Xander grinned, waving at them.

"Harris," one of the patrol guys squeaked.  "You're all right, right?"

"I'm fine, Eric's sister is fine.  He started in on her.  She was asking her mother when my birthday was in Spanish when redneck boy here butted in.  She switched to Russian at one point too.  We walked away, her first so I could cover her.  We went back to shopping.  He tried again at the register, telling her the pesos were the funny colored ones.  She shot back that one, I forgot something. Went back for it.  Came back to find him trying to grab her arm. I did a nerve squeeze.  Pulled him away from her, dropped him, got in behind her to put that down and pay for the groceries.  He came after us again, I felt the movement and pushed her out of the way, turning to block him.  He had his gun pulled.  I broke his wrist and put him down.  The manager came. I got Marisol out.  She's headed to our place with the groceries.  Our fridge broke while we were gone," he shared.

"They were buying stuff to stock up with," the cashier agreed.  "I can print off another copy of the receipt if you need it, officers."

"It shouldn't be necessary," one of them assured her.  "We like Mr. Harris. Most of the time."

"This makes, like, twice today, guys.  Not my fault. They were saving it up for when I got back from the convention and the FBI shit."

"I heard," one of them offered. "You good?"

"Now. It's fixed."  He shrugged.  "Can I get a ride home?"  They nodded.  "Thanks."  He glared at the guy trying to touch his pantsleg.  "Yes?"

"Are you a commando, like GI Joe?" he asked pitifully.

"No, I'm the husband of a cop and I run a foundation for gay men."  He whimpered and collapsed backward.  "Sorry, I've got a husband."  He shrugged and looked at the officers, seeing the one giggling. "Don't let them catch you doing that," he chided with a grin. "Eric might start too."  He had seen him pull up. "She's fine."

"Who's fine?" he asked, looking confused.

"Marisol.  We were out shopping."

He groaned.  "And...."

"Redneck.  Language issues, his."

"Okay.  Been there, done that before," he agreed, coming over to process the scene.  "He's not dead!"

"We were told to call you guys if we run into Mr. Harris in a situation where someone might die, sir," one of the officers reported.

"Yet you didn't call him earlier when we had the guy with the gun for the dog?"

"Guy with the gun for the dog," Eric repeated slowly.  "Uh-huh.  And?" Eric asked, looking at him.

"Ask the guy who looks like a latte that needs caffeine."

"I know him," Eric agreed.  "I'll ask him for that report.  My sister?"

"I had to give her a nudge forward, she *swore* up and down she caught herself when she stumbled.  It was on the cart.  I thought he was going to hit me, I shoved her forward slightly, like five inches, she *SWORE* to me that she caught herself before she did more than stumble, Eric."

"Calm down.  She's fine, right?"  Xander nodded.  "Where is she?"

"Took my car and the groceries."

"That's fine.  We can go check on her.  I'll give you a ride home.  Unless you guys need him?" he asked the officers.  Who shook their heads.  "You sure?"

"The manager and everyone agreed the gentleman on the floor started it and Mr. Harris kept walking away.  He only reacted when a gun appeared."

"Good, then I'm taking him home so I can check on my sister and going back to work."  He looked at the cashier.  "He needed?"  She shook her head.  "Good."  He walked him out, taking him out to his hummer.  "Calm down.  I'm sure she's fine if she said she was fine.  My other sister fell down the stairs while pregnant and she was fine.  Just stumbling won't hurt her." Xander nodded quickly.  "You need to puke?"  He shook his head. "You sure?"  He nodded. "Okay."  He let Xander in then got in to drive, calling his boss. "Did you tell them to call us if and when someone came after Xander this time?"  He snorted. "No, some guy tried to shoot him and Marisol so Xander broke his wrist.  They called me.  On my way to check on her and take him home."  He hung up.  "Horatio said to calm down too."

"I'm calm!"

"You're not calm, you just yelled at me, Xander."  He started the engine and backed out, taking him home.  Marisol ran out to hug him, then her brother.  "Hi.  Are you okay?"

"I'm fine.  Is he okay?  The guy had a gun!"

"He's fine."  He walked her back inside, then came out to take Xander and drag him in.  He put them both in the kitchen.  "Here, make something fattening.  Call Momma.  She heard and panicked too."  He walked out, heading back to the office.  He walked up to the office. "He's going to fuss her to death.  The new refrigerator is pretty, H."  He grinned.  "I left them twittering at each other.  It sounded like the baby was listening to something on baby animals."  He headed out, going back to work.  Speed stopped him. "Xander had to break the wrist of someone who had a gun on them.  Someone who was going after Marisol for not speaking English with my mother.  They're both fine, twittering each other to death."  He walked around him, going to his lab so he could shut himself in.  He called Wolfe.  "She good?"  He grunted.  "That's fine.  Don't call Xander, he's in a fussing mood over Marisol.  Yeah, nearly.  Panicking a bit.  Swore up and down to me she was okay."  He grinned at the understanding voice.  "Yeah, home.  They stop it?"  He grinned.  "That'll work.  Tell us if you need us."  He hung up and pulled out the work he was supposed to be doing.  Horatio opened the door.  "Wolfe said they stopped her labor. She's prayed a lot, it's a girl by the most recent ultrasound.  She's fine."

"Good.  How is your sister?"

"Fine.  She's twittering. She ran out to hug him then me. I put them in the kitchen and said to make something fattening.  You twit nearly as bad as he does.  Shoo.  I'm working. You go twit and nap off the mooing."  He walked over and turned him around, giving him a gentle nudge out of the lab, then slammed the door.  He got back to work.

***

Horatio walked into his house that night, sniffing nice smells.  "Who cooked?"

"We ordered," Ray Jr. called.  He came out of the office.  "Father's in there.  You've got food in the fridge.  Lots and lots of food.  There's stuff in the freezer.  It works.  For a change."  Horatio gave him a look.  "Marisol's in here on the couch.  Eric's happily clucking in his bed, after having a bath.  Father did it.  Xander's collapsed.  They had ice cream for dinner."  Horatio smiled at that. "She's fine, he's fine, the usual happened."  That got another nod. "I'm wondering how much he spent in New York."

"You and me both, Ray."  He went to check on the baby first, then Marisol, then his mate.  He took off his suit and put it up, he'd wear it again before it went to the cleaner's.  He put on a t-shirt and pair of sleep pants, then went to get dinner.  He was hungry.  He found his brother in there.  "Food?"  A carton was handed back.  "What's this?"

"Chicken Lo Mein from the good place, Horatio. They all napping?"

"For now."  He opened it and grabbed a fork, leaning against the counter to eat.  "So, how was your date last night?"  His brother looked at him.  "It was fairly apparent."  He ate another bite, looking at him.

"We talked.  A lot.  My son?"

"Was frustrated by the mooing."

"I heard that earlier."  He smirked some.  "Ray was older when he mooed, good job."

"Thank you.  Did his mother call?"

"Not that I've heard but the fridge might've taken the answering machine on vacation with it."

"Entirely possible. Did we check?"  He shook his head so he went to do that.  He found a message from Di, a sleepy, happy, sated sounding woman if he had ever made one.

"Xanny, baby, can you keep the baby this week?  Please?" she pleaded.  "I love you.  I'll make you more leathers.  Please?  My baby wants to have more fun.  Pretty please?"  He chuckled.  "Tell Horatio that his birthday present for you is still a go.  We're good.  We're happy.  We're ...somewhere and I'm having fun. Thanks, baby."  Then a click.

He snorted and called her phone.  "Di, call the cells next time," he ordered into her machine.  "Yes, we can keep him for a few more days, but we want to meet her.  Soon, Diana.  By the way, expect some animal noises."  He hung up. Then he shook his head and went into the study, his brother following.  "What are you doing?"

"Catching up on the bookkeeping now that we've got the full records back.  I've also called the bank about a ten thousand dollar withdrawal.  They said that he authorized it as a cash withdrawal, something about the extra stay at the hotel."  Horatio nodded.   "Right now, he's still working on the interest this month.  He did deposit some of the check today.  Not all of it," he snorted.  "There's some serious cash laying around somewhere."

"Probably in the safety deposit box," Horatio agreed.  "Anything else?"

"Nothing outstanding. All the bills were paid this month.  Your cell is back on autodraft on the other card you set up, it just came out."  He hit a few keystrokes.  "I paid off the fridge and the new books and tapes today.  Ooh, and there's Don on the IM.  Want to talk to him?"  Horatio shrugged so he got up.  "The bigger one is the fridge," he shared with a grin.

Horatio looked. "Not a bad price for same day delivery."

"Also, tops in Consumer Reports."  He sat in the other chair, taking his father's food from him.  "Greedy bastard."

"How is she?" Horatio asked as he typed at Don, getting a fairly drunk detective. "He's off again tonight."

"What happened?" Jr. asked.

"His girlfriend went back to her ex."   He typed something at him, getting a giggle.  He called. "Don, go sleep it off," he ordered.  He got a growled 'okay, no porn tonight'.  "I'll make Xander send you some, Don. Just sleep it off.  Log off your computer and go to bed."  Don hung up and his computer logged off.  "Good.  He needed to sleep it off."  He made a note to Xander, then went back to his browsing of their accounts.  "My balance is gone on my credit cards?"

"They paid that off when your mortgage payments got returned.  It's been gone for months, Uncle Horatio."  He got up and flipped back on the ledger, tapping it.  "Then.  The month Xander under-balanced his statement and pissed himself off."  He sat down again, going back to his eating. "The bank did it, not him.  I remember him calling in a blind panic because the check had been sent to the wrong account.  The way it was set up for you guys, whatever was in that account got sent to the credit card companies."

"That's good to know," he agreed calmly.  "Maybe I can negotiate for a smaller rate now."  He leaned back, going back to eating while he flipped through the ledger.  "Ray, why minus signs?"

"Because I couldn't figure out how to mark withdrawals without it, Uncle H.  Sorry."

"That's okay.  Xander swears up and down he's going to take accounting this upcoming semester."  His phone rang so he answered it.  "Caine."  He listened, checking the clock.  "She's here and asleep, Eric.  Are you just now leaving?  Sure, if you can wake her."  He hung up, looking at his nephew. "How is she?" he asked again.

"In pain, alive.  They agreed they couldn't save the baby, especially under the circumstances she cited.  They did another blood test, came out negative.  He's still alive and in jail."  He stuffed his mouth again. "The DA hated me," he said between his next bite.

Horatio nodded. "She hates me worse," he assured him.  "What did she say?"

"It obviously ran in the family," he deadpanned.  Xander walked in and curled up in Horatio's lap, going back to sleep once he had comfort.  "Nightmares?"

"Now and then," he agreed, stroking his back.  He took off his t-shirt and dropped it in Xander's lap to cover what Ray was staring at.

"Now I know why they liked him so much as a stripper."

"I am close enough to stab you," Ray reminded him patiently.  "Shut up."  He ate another bite.  "Should I go home or are you and Mom going to be going at it like rabid weasels again?"  His father blushed.  "Up to you."

"I think she wants you home tonight.  Something about cleaning out your closet."

"Fat chance," he snorted. "I earned those clothes.  I look good in those clothes.  Bite me."

"Your mother wanted you to donate some of it."

"Which is wonderful but it'd be the normal clothes and my uniforms.  By the way, Uncle H, they love you but my classmates want me more now."  He finished his carton of food.  "They think I can give them an inside track to you guys and other things."

"Fat.  Chance."

Ray smiled.  "You give the sweetest orders.  Can I tell them off impolitely?"  Horatio nodded and his father moaned.  "Good, then he's overruled."  He reached over and took his uncle's food, giving him a sweet grin.  "I'm starved.  There's more in the fridge."

"She taught you better manners," Ray Sr. said patiently.  Ray gave back the food and got up to get more.  "Thank you."  He rolled his eyes.  "He forgot the basic things, Horatio."

"He's yanking you," Xander said, glaring at him.  Ray shifted and got up, taking his son home.  He growled and put his head back down, letting his husband pat him back into sleep.  "I don't feel good."

Horatio tested his forehead. "You're warm.  Sniffles, aches, anything like that?"  Xander shook his head. "Are you sure?"

"Yup."

"Then let's get you back to bed, Xander."  He heard clucking and groaned.  "Not again."

"Eric, daddy doesn't feel good.  Sleep, please!" he begged.  He put his head back down.  Horatio got up and helped him back to bed, covering him with a sheet.  "Don't yell at him."

"I won't be, I'll hand him back his teddy bear and he'll go back to sleep."  He walked up there, looking at his giggling son.  "Eric, daddy needs to sleep.  Please sleep?"  He shook his head.  "Why not?"  He pointed up.  Horatio looked up.  "Ah.  The light is too bright.  I can fix that."  He closed the curtains more, handing him back his teddy bear.  Eric snuggled in and fell asleep within a few minutes prompting.  "Good night, son."  He headed back downstairs, finding Xander getting sick.  And not a good sick.  He came to clean him up, finding him biting his lip.  "Let it go, Xander."  He shook his head.  "Why not?"

"Cramps."  He leaned back, resting against his mate's legs.  "It's not food poisoning."

"No, it's probably not," he agreed, smirking at him.  "I doubt you'd ever get it."  He wet the towel down again, cleaning off his face.  "Just cramps?"  Xander shook his head. "What else?"

"Chilly.  Funny feelings up and down my arms and chest."

"Sounds like the last time you got the flu."  He helped him up and back to the bed.  Xander curled up in a little miserable ball.  "I should get Eric to one of the others."

"Speed's got Toddy."

"I can call Eric.  Well, he's coming over," he admitted. Xander got up and headed back, making him look that way. "What did you eat?"

"Nothing!"  He threw up more bile.  "I hate dry heaves!"

"I'm calling Alexx."

"No, it's her night off."  He stood up.  "I can go to the ER."

"You can, but you'd have to put on clothes and be driven."  Xander glared at him.  "Let's get dressed, I'll take you once Eric's here."  Xander nodded, going to put on a pair of running shorts and a t-shirt.  He looked at Xander's back. "What is that?"  He touched the marks.  "Xander, claw marks?"

"no," he said weakly, looking in the mirror. "It's not."  He frowned.  Someone knocked.  "Go let Eric in while I put on clothes."

Horatio went to let Eric in, nodding at him and his mother.  "Xander's sick.  The baby's sleeping, finally.  There was too much light."  He heard a giggle and a long moo.  "Never mind."

Eric laughed and went to check on him, patting him on the head.  "Why are you up?  Again?"

"Daddy!"

"I know, he's sick. He needs to sleep."  Eric pouted. "No, it's time to sleep."  The baby grinned and shook his head. "Why not?"  He pointed at the window.  Eric finished closing the curtains but he cried.  "I didn't think so."  He picked him up and carried him and his bear down.  He put him on the couch.  "You stay there, you try to sleep.  If you're a good boy, I'll make you breakfast."  Eric snuggled down, taking the blanket off his fathers' bed.  "Good."  He went into the bedroom, turning to catch the baby.  "Nope.  Not with a sick daddy."  He walked him back and put him back down.  "Here or bed, kiddo."  He pouted.  "Now."  Eric laid down and the baby laid with him.  It was the last resort of the tired parents.  But it worked.  He looked back at his mother as she came out.  "He okay?"

"It looks like food poisoning but this is Xander we're talking about."  She looked at him, then shook her head.  "Refusing?"  He nodded.  "Good.  They're going to the hospital.  Can you stay or should I take him home?"

"Moooooooooooooooooooo!" Eric said.  Then he giggled.

She looked at the baby.  "Are you a cow?"  Eric beamed at her.  "Come along, grandson.  We'll go home."

"No, daddy!"

"Your father is sick.  He needs rest and you want to play."  He struggled but Eric said something in his ear, making him quit and give her the pitiful look.  "Let's go."  Her son handed over the bear.  "Thank you.  You stay here."  He nodded, getting comfortable, handing her the blanket.

Xander walked out and blew a kiss.  "I'll see you in the morning, when I feel better."  The baby pouted. "Not my fault, sprout. Tomorrow, when I feel better.  Have fun with Grandma.  Maybe she's got the dog."  Eric let himself be walked out, waving at the fathers.  "Love you.  Be a good boy."  Horatio came out in sweats, walking him out to the sports car.

***

Horatio called in from the office, putting them on conference call with Eric's mother.  "We're in quarantine," he announced.  "He's got the chicken pox.  Which means I'm in quarantine.  Which means Marisol's in quarantine and Eric's got to go to the doctor's today to get his booster."

"I thought he got it already," Eric called from the kitchen.

"Did he?"

"I'll call and check," Alexx promised. "Is he all right?"

"He's not throwing up. They gave him something for that.  Anyone who hasn't it must take the shot today.  If you feel itchy, you're going to the ER.  Alexx, check everyone today and tomorrow.  Call Ryan and Willow as well.  Check Toddy."

"Of course.  Both my kids got the shot but one still got it anyway.  I'd suggest the oatmeal bathing packets."

"We've got some.  I was allowed to stop at Walmart last night.  His creme is here too."

"Oh, good, have fun with that and the oven mitts, sugar."

"I'm going to.  I had it when I was younger.  Has Ray Jr.?"

"Yes," Yelina called over the line.  "He had it when he was eight.  Your brother said he had it as well.  Hold on, the boss.  Chief!"  Her voice faded.

"Speed, I want you in charge," he ordered.

"Of course.  Calleigh and I can handle it, H.  When are they going to release Eric?"

"When he can prove he had it or in two weeks.  Someone needs to call the hotel and see who else had it."

"I'll call Mac.  He can do that," Calleigh promised.  "Need anything?"

"I have an itchy, whiny, vomiting, fevered, twenty-two-year-old along with Eric and Marisol, Calleigh."

"So, I should come take all the guns out of the house?" she suggested.  "Hey, Chief."

"Is that Horatio?"

"And Eric's mother.  He went over to get Marisol last night.  They're looking for his old medical records for both of them.  His mother's got the baby."

"That's good.  How long?"

"Until the last pustule is dried up, Chief.  It's chicken pox. It's contagious."

"Damn.  You have a trial, Horatio."

"I'm under quarantine.  They can't make me go but tell them I can work from the office at the house, boss."  He heard Xander start to get sick again.  "Eric, the green bottle."

"I know."  He went to dose him.  He came to the door.  "It's not helping, he threw it back up too.  Mom, call the pediatrician we used."

"He died, Eric.  Almost ten years ago."

"Damn.  Who would have his records?"

"I'll call the health department, see if they'd know."  She sighed.  "The baby's fine so far, Alexx.  How is Marisol?"

"Still sleeping," Eric told her.  "She needed it.  Is he still mooing?"

"He woke us up at four this morning, giggling and chasing the dog.  You have quite the son, Horatio.  Where is his mother?"

"Damned if I know," he admitted.  "I've already called her, called her assistant.  She hasn't called back."  He swallowed, looking at Eric.  "Is he back in bed?"  He looked then nodded.  "Anyone got any sure-fire ways of making him quit throwing up?"

"Gingerale?"

"Hates it," Eric said.  "Coughed and spluttered.  Call Willow?"

"I don't want to stress her out."

"Hold on," Speed said, moving away from the phone.  He came back a minute later.  "She said pepsi does it.  Something about syrup of coca-cola?  It's what she used to use."

"I know that stuff," Eric's mother agreed.  "We can find him some.  Anything else?"

"Goldfish crackers but after the first day he hates them, claims they taste like chalk.  Try cool ranch doritos too, she said for some reason it works."  Xander wobbled in and flopped down on Horatio's lap again, grunting in displeasure. "Hey, kid, want crackers and pepsi?"

"No food," he moaned. "Food evil.  No goldfishies, no crackers, no pepsi."  He got up and ran back to the bathroom, slamming the door.

"We'll get him some for tomorrow, H," Speed offered.

"Might be a good idea.  At least we have groceries."

"Caine, are you enjoying this?" the Chief demanded.

"Not at the moment but I'm finding humor in my husband, who nothing and almost no one can get the better of, being waylaid by a disease that gets children."

"That I can see you laughing about.  Anything else you need?"

"Something to do."

"I'll send over all your paperwork, H.  We'll set up a basket on the porch system."

"There's a basket already out there, use it," Horatio offered.  Eric came back.  "Again?"

"Not yet," he admitted.  "Back in bed after a few more dry heaves.  He's got a good rash going already.  Anything else you guys can think of doing?"

"Pray for patience, Eric," Alexx said firmly.  "Really."  They hung up.

"That's not a bad idea, I had to," his mother agreed.  "I'll take the baby with me now.  I'll call later, Horatio."  She hung up too.

Horatio leaned back, moaning slightly.  "At least we can order most everything we need."  He looked at Eric, who was grinning.  "If you have to stay the whole two weeks, you can have the baby's room or fix up the storage room that Ray uses now and then."

"Gee, thanks, you're all heart, H.  Maybe I could go home?"

"We'll see if it's permissible.  He said to stay here."

"Crap."  He found the phone book and the listing for the health department, going to call it from the kitchen.  "Hi, I'm trapped in a house with a couple of people with chicken pox.  No, my doctor died about ten years ago according to my mother.  Yeah, him if I remember right.  Can I please go home?  Please?"  He listened to the reasonable voice.  "One's had it, one's got it.  We're waiting to see if my sister and myself get it.  She may be pregnant.  Really?"  He beamed.  "Thank you!  I love you guys!"  He hung up.  "H, I have to get Marisol out of here!  They said so."

Horatio came to the doorway of the office. "They said *she* had to go, Eric, not you."  He gave him a look, getting a sheepish grin. "Nice try though.  Go get her up, she can take your car to your place."  He went to check on his husband.  He'd get tired of Eric soon but he had the chance to be sprung. He'd have a cranky mate, who was presently in his closet apparently.  He opened the door, but Xander pulled it closed.  He opened it again.  "Xander?  Why are you in the closet?"

"Light bad!"  He slammed the door again and this time held the bottom so he couldn't open it.

"Okay. Whenever you're ready to come out, let us know."  He walked off shaking his head, smiling at the sleepy woman.  "He has chicken pox."  A hand went to her stomach.  "You are to go to Eric's apartment, by yourself.  You are to call your OB, tell him that. See what he wants you to do.  Until he or your mother can clear you."  She nodded, taking Eric's keys and heading out. He waited until they were alone.  "He's in the closet."

"Bit late for that.  Eggs?"

"Would be fine.  I'll do bacon," he agreed, going to help in the kitchen.  He could answer with the phone in there.  "Caine," he said tiredly.  "Quit laughing, Danny.  One of you probably gave it to him."  He heard the reason and groaned.  "Tell me you're kidding?"  The answer he got did not amuse him.  "How many others?  Because I'm trapped in a house with Xander and Eric, Danny.  One's hiding in his closet.  The other's laughing against the new refrigerator.  It broke while we were gone.  He had it replaced yesterday."  He groaned.  "Thank you."  He hung up.  "Mac was having a relapse.  He had a grand total of three pustules and it spread.  I'm going to kill him."

"Just yell, Horatio. He's got to feel miserable too."

"Yay."  He washed his hands and came over to help.  "Xander, would you like some toast?"

"Leave me alone!"

"Sure," Eric agreed.  He nodded, looking at Horatio, who snorted and shook his head.  Eric grinned at that.  "He could try to sneak out."  Horatio went to set the alarm.  That way they'd know when Xander snuck off.  He went back to breakfast, deciding they probably had to eat inside. Eric gave him a look and turned off the alarm long enough to let themselves out, then hit it for the one out there. They settled down, eating, enjoying the rare morning off.  At least until they had to go retrieve Xander from the car and confiscate all the keys, his wallets, and Horatio had to threaten to use handcuffs. Xander was put back in bed.

Horatio leaned down, making Xander look at him. "Even if you left, we'd still have to stay."

"But I could be miserable in peace without whining."

"You don't have to whine."

"But I will if I'm not alone.  Then I'll just annoy myself."  Horatio kissed him on the forehead and walked off.  "I need to go be alone!"

"Leave the house and I'm tying you down, Xander."

"No!"  He pouted.  He called Ethan.  "Is it safe to do the moving thing when you have chicken pox?"  He just knew Ethan took the time to look at the phone before answering no and hanging up.  He called Willow.  "Can I do the moving thing when I have chicken pox?"  She handed the phone to Ryan, who gave him a very reasonable reason to stay.  He had to take care of Horatio in case he got sick.  No matter how pitiful he felt he had to take care of Horatio, or else he'd get bored and turn into Eric.  Then Eric would turn into Horatio and everyone would be really freaked out by Eric in a suit.  Xander hung up and considered it, then trudged out there, giving them pitiful looks. "Ryan said I have to stay so you don't turn into Eric and Eric doesn't turn into you and traumatize his family by wearing suits.  Need more milk?  I won't look when I pour it but I'll get some."

"I'm good on milk, Xander," Horatio promised, glaring at Eric for his laughing.  "For right now, let me take care of you. When you're feeling better we can take care of each other again.  Then I'll let you spoil me for a day."  Xander nodded, curling up in his lap.  "You should be inside."

"Comfier out here," he said with a small pout.

"You can take a bath with the oatmeal stuff.  It'll stop the itching and lower your fever," Eric offered.  "Even if it is slimy."  Xander shuddered but went to do that. "You want to call Ryan back?"

"He was trying to help.  I'll yell at him in person.  Later probably.  He said he wanted to run because he'd whine.  He didn't want to upset me by whining."

"That's sweet."  He got up to answer the door, smiling at the delivery guy.  "What's up?"

"Boxes, sir."  He handed over the clipboard. "A few.  Should I bring them inside?"

"We have chicken pox in the house."

"Okay, I'll leave them here?"  He nodded.  "Good.  Let me start hefting."

He looked at the invoice, then up.  "Horatio?" He came to take the invoice.  "Ray Jr?"

"No, the other dark haired one who lives here.  Xander, did you get a new computer?"

"Needed one," he called miserably.  "Yours is dying too.  Willow said so."  He came to the door, looking miserable.  "Willow said that would work with everything at the office and you could log in from home if necessary.  Ryan needed one too so she's paying me back.  That way he can work from home for a while on paperwork when the new one's born."  He gave them a weak smile.  "Plus I needed a new game or two."  He wobbled back to his bath and climbed back in with a splash.

"Did you slip?" Eric called.

"no."

Eric and Horatio shared a look and got to work lifting boxes inside.  "We need a warning on the door," Horatio offered.

"Markers on paper, Horatio.  Do it the simple way."   He went to make a sign and clean off the desk for him.  He came back out, finding the other boxes and groceries.  "More food?"

"Your mother ordered it," Horatio sighed.  He brought it inside.  He wouldn't mind and he'd pay for it. They'd probably need it anyway. He found the two laptops and gave them a look, leaning into the bathroom.  "Two laptops?"

"Two?" he asked, looking confused.  "No, one.  Unless it's Willow's?  Or maybe Don's?"

"I'll check the invoice."  He walked off shaking his head.  It looked more like Xander had clicked the 'buy me' button twice.  He set one aside and took the other into the bedroom.  He came out and found Eric setting his desktop system together.  "How do I log into the office?"

"Let me look," he ordered.  He got it together and turned it on, then grinned as things came up just like they did at work.  He clicked on the icon that said 'long distance log in'.  "He had them label things for Ray, the brother, not the nephew."  Horatio snorted at that.  He walked around to hook him into the cable modem then grinned.  "Try it again."  Horatio walked around and clicked on the icon, getting a box.  "Try your regular one."  He did that and it came up, making him blink.  "It's a good job.  Our guys must've talked to them."  He walked around to look. "Go ahead and harass Speed."

Horatio snorted and logged into his instant messenger, telling him he was online and could do some work from home.

/I love you, go cuddle my son, don't play with the new system.  Have Eric put up the food, H.  You can do paperwork when you have to sleep on the couch tonight/ Horatio answered.  /Let me repeat myself,/ Speed typed. /Go.  Cuddle.  My.  Son!/

"Oops, someone's cranky."  He grimaced.  "Tell him to forward me stuff then."  Horatio typed that in and the other end was shut off.  "Damn, he turned off your computer."

"Which means I can't get anything done on it, right?" Horatio asked.  Eric nodded.  "Can I do anything?"

"Go to the homepage and login.  Let's see."  Horatio opened the browser and did that, finding the login screen after a minute. He logged in there and found all sorts of stuff in his official inbox.  "Ha."  He grinned. "My mother.  The doctor.  Marisol."  Horatio clicked on that one, making them both sigh in relief.  Her medical records had her having it.  She was all right.  So she was going to go watch Eric with her mother. She wished them luck with Xander. Eric went to put up the food and poke into the other boxes.  "Hey, Horatio, I didn't know you needed more handcuffs.  Or lube by the case.  You are the man, H."

Horatio came out to look, finding that invoice and glaring at it.  "Don."  He went to call him. "Donald, why did you buy me more handcuffs and a case of lube?"  He listened to the 'I did?'.  "Yes, you did.  It said you did.  It said you ordered and paid for it, Don.  Why?"  Don spluttered but came up with the 'I didn't think I did'.  "Don, check your bank records and tell us, all right?" he suggested more calmly.  "Xander has chicken pox.  That means Eric and I are stuck here."  He hung up and looked at him.  "Don's been drunk a lot since his girlfriend left him."

"Can I send up some of mine?"

"We can have him sent down here to take over some of yours.  Your mother would like that."

"She would," he agreed. "Speed turned back on your computer."  Horatio came around to get back to work, typing overtop of the typos that were being done.  "Is he doing it blind or with his toes?"

"Probably not looking at his hands."  He finished that form and sent it, then got an IM with 'wtf'.  He sent back that he was doing it, to go work in the lab and to handle staffing problems.   The computer on that end was shut off again.

Eric called the lab.  "Can someone go turn back on Horatio's computer so he's not bored and tell Speed to get back to work?  No, he can log in remotely now."  He smirked.  "You bet.  That's why it's off right now. Yup. Thank you."  He hung up. "She'll wait until he's gone then do it.  He just stomped past muttering.  She said there should be a cloud over his head."

"Yeah, it's not going to be a good week," Xander said from the doorway.  "Are we okay?"

"We're fine.  Go back to your bath, Xander," Eric ordered.  Xander nodded, heading that way with a bottle of water.  "He is going to fuss you to death," he said quietly.

"I'm not the one with chicken pox."

"So?"

"You may have a point there."

"Plus, you can repay the spoiling.  I'll load the games onto his laptop."  Horatio nodded, going to take care of his boy while Eric settled the rest of everything.  He found some new books and smiled, setting those aside.  They were clearly not meant for Xander to read.  He found a few others and put them aside too.  Though one was probably for him since it was deep see fish identification and came with a waterproof chart to dive with.

"Hey, presents," Xander complained.

"It's okay, I'm not really looking."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."  He looked back at him.  "Bath.  Now."  Xander pouted off.  "I promise, it'll still be good."  He shook his head, coming to one last box, and this one had been shipped from New York, from the hotel.  He opened it, smirking at the bag right on top.  "Tiffanies.  Interesting.  He snooped but none of them had his name on it, or Speed's or Horatio's.  So he couldn't legitimately snoop.

"Don't you dare," Horatio called. "Those were the last of the presents.  Just unpack the clothes, Eric."

"Fine."  He brought the box into the bedroom, letting Horatio have anything non-clothes to deal with.  Most everything was already wrapped.  Pity but he did get to shake his, hearing the rattle. "I think mine is broken."

"It's metal."

"Never mind then."  He put it carefully aside. Then got out the rest of the clothes.  "Did he not pack?"

"Those were things he owned."  Horatio came over to put everything away.  "Xander, I want to weed out your clothes and intersperse color."

"I like my clothes."

"I noticed.  They're multiplying."

"I've seen rabbits breed slower," Eric agreed. Horatio glared at him.  "I have!  Neither of us have that many clothes."

"Neither of you have to attend lunch parties, dinner lectures, and those things.  Oh, crap, I've got one tonight.  Someone find my blue address book?"  Horatio found it where it should be, on the dresser, and handed it over with Xander's cellphone.  Xander climbed back into the bath, smiling at the sunny voice.  "Mary, I hate to do this.  No, it's Xander Harris.  I accepted an invitation for your dinner tonight but I got exposed to chicken pox. I'm under quarantine. No, I thought it polite to call.  Thank you, Mary.  Of course, the next time you have one.  Thank you for being so understanding."  He hung up and let both drop onto the floor.  "She probably doesn't remember who I am."

"Probably not by voice or name, but you're unforgettable in person," Horatio agreed from the doorway.  "Should I play social secretary?" he teased.

"No, I'll do it later.  Thank you anyway."  That got a smile. "I still feel miserable."

"I know.  You keep that up and it'll help, then I'll put some stuff over the rash."

"I could've sworn I already had this."

"Apparently not."  He went back to the closet issue.  "Are you sure we can't weed out some of this, Xander?  Maybe pack some of the stuff you don't wear?  Like the clothes from high school?"

"They're already in boxes."

"They're hanging up."

"Then those you can do.  Or I can get another footlocker."

"You have one?" Horatio asked.  "It's not in here."

"It's at the other place."

"Uh-huh.  Maybe we can move the less favored pieces over there?"

"Only if you go get that teal shirt and bring it back."

"You have a teal shirt?" Eric asked.

"No, he has a teal shirt there I want to see him in."  He got out of the baths and looked, frowning.  "Half of that was in a box on the bottom of the closet."  He looked at Eric.  "Your mother unpacks your closets too?"

"Probably."  He grinned at him.  "Fine, Xander.  I'll see if I can find the box.  If not, footlocker?"  Xander nodded, going to find one online but Horatio turned him around and put him back in the bath, going to do it for him. Eric snickered, shaking his head. "He's determined not to be a burden."

"He is," he agreed.  He came back.  "Just a standard one?"

"Pwease."

"Of course."  He went back to finish that, then came back.  "It'll be here tomorrow.  I got you two."

"Fank you."

"No baby talk."  Xander sneezed.  "Is it cold?"  He came in to check him over, finding a miserable husband.  "Why did you run it cold?"

"I'm warm."

"Run it body temperatured."  He got him out and let half the water out, then added more warm until it was a good temperature and height.  He got Xander back in and got him some juice, handing it over. "Drink."  Xander gulped it so he smiled.  "Good boy."  Xander barked.  "Fine. Thank you."  He got him some more and handed it over, going back to the closet situation.  His own could be straightened out.

"I thought Ray was kidding that you used to iron your socks," Eric teased. Horatio shook his head, gathering up the laundry that Xander had flung around last night, going to start a load his way.  Because Xander didn't care how his clothes were done, even if Horatio did color sort into whites, blues, blacks, reds, greens, and towels and socks.

"Eric, can I have a book?  Toss me the one from the bedside table?"

Eric looked, finding Xander's bedside table easily enough.  The book took some work, it had fallen off and under the bed.  He brought it in there, handing it over.  "There you go.  Try to rest, you'll start itching for real tonight."  Xander sighed and nodded, sinking down more.  "It'll be okay."

"I bet Mac got to hide," he grumbled.

"Not if he's still sleeping with Danny and Stella. They probably fussed him to death too.  You can call Mac later tonight and pout at him for making you sick and making Horatio fuss over you."  He left, going to the office to get something done.  He was going to be bored soon and his mother had told him many times that him being bored was enough to rip a house apart.  He found the main computer back on and grinned, getting onto it to do some of the paperwork.  Even that was better than nothing.  "Hey, H.  The Chief didn't like your manpower report last week.  He said he needed more detail than 'all field techs at conference'."  He got in there to type it in more detailed.  Then he sent it.  He got to work on the next one, making Horatio smirk.  "I'm bored.  With up to a week of this, the house could be destroyed.  Just ask my mother."

"I'm sure we'll have fun chasing him down again."

"I told him he could call Mac later and pout at him for making you fuss over him."

"I'm sure he'll be overjoyed at that.  He may be hiding already."

"Not if he's still with Danny and Stella.  She might let him hide for a while but she'd have to be able to check on him and Danny's a champion fusser if you're sick.  She said so."

"Are we sure Danny's not related to Xander instead of Don?  He doesn't seem like the fussing sort."

"It's a deeply held genetic quirk back in the ancient lines," Eric said dryly, staring at him. "Heavier in some cultures than others.  Just look at my mother and sisters."  Horatio moaned at that.  "You better hope you never have a relapse and get a few spots like Mac did."

"Oh, I do," he agreed, heading for the kitchen to check supplies.  He didn't want to give Eric the bad news his own chicken pox had taken nearly three weeks to completely go away.  He heard Xander getting sick and went to check on him, rescuing his book from the bubbles.  He'd have to get him a new copy but Xander was more important at the moment.  He checked his fever, still there.   He went for the bag of medicine they had picked up, including the liquid tylenol.  The doctor had said it might be easier for him to take.  He measured out the adult dosage, grimacing at the grape smell, but he brought it back.  "Here, tylenol."

"Must I?" He croaked.

"You must.  Try to drink it in one gulp."

Xander took it and gulped it, then smacked his lips.  "I haven't had that since I was ten."  He handed back the medicine cup and got up to rinse out his mouth then climb back in his bath.  "I'm sorry I'm such a pain."

"Illnesses happen, Xander. You can't predict that they'll happen."  He smiled at him, getting a happier spouse. "Besides, I can repay all the fussing you do over me."  He got grunted at and a pout. "You can start again when you're better."  Xander nodded.  "Ready to get out? You're wrinkled."

"I'm itchy."

"I'll get the creme."  He went to get that and the new package of cotton balls.  Eric grinned at him. "He's starting the itchy phase."

"Wonderful.  Speed said he never got the recipe off him and he wants it.  He'll trade it for some garlic chicken soup."

"That'd be fine.  I can find it," Horatio promised, going to make him unitchy.  Even if he did have to put him in mittens.  Which had been hard to find at one in the morning in Miami for some reason.

***

Mac groaned as he grabbed his phone.  "Taylor," he complained weakly.  "Xander?  Are you all right?  Danny said you caught them off me."  He leaned back, listening to Xander complain that he was being fussed over.  "It makes him happy to take care of you now and then, Xander."  Xander went on and he could tell fever ranting when he heard it.  "Are you all right?"  He grimaced.  "I'm sorry.  I didn't realize I was contagious.  I know, but it makes him happy.  Why don't you rest and sleep some more?  It's what helped me.  No, I had to come to work. No, not that case, some other case.  I had to come in since Lindsey's still out with a broken leg.  No, I made sure I'm not contagious to anyone else.  Besides, I think everyone else around me has had it."  He grinned at Eric coming in to take the phone from him and Xander defending it with a 'no, mine, meany'.  "Go back to sleep, Xander.  You can complain at me again tomorrow night."  Xander grunted and hung up.

He waited two minutes, then called Horatio's cellphone.  "It's mean of you to make him call and rant at me when he's got that high of a fever.  No, but they did warn me that if I spiked one I had to go back to the ER.  Sure.   No, that's fine.  I'm sorry I infected him.  Lindsey's still got a broken leg, Horatio."  He hissed.  "Ooooh, I'm so sorry.  You want Don?  That way he'll quit pouting?"  He chuckled.  "Fine."  Danny leaned in. "Horatio.  No, Danny's here to make sure I go home and go to bed.  Yeah, he fusses greatly.  I wanted to hide."  He listened to Horatio's story about finding Xander in the closet and him saying he should hide so he didn't whine them to death.  "At least he's trying to be nice, Horatio.  Fluids.  Lots and lots of fluids, but also check his fever.  It sounded a lot like fever ranting to me.  Have a better night."

"Have him use the herbal stuff in that green tin of Xander's," Danny said patiently.  "That's what we used on yours."

"Danny said to find Xander's green tin of herbal stuff, he put it on mine and it's barely itched all day.  Sure.  Did the baby get it?"  He winced.  "Well, I hope they caught it in time.  I'm sorry, I didn't realize I could pop up a few years later or that I'd be contagious.  Thanks, Horatio."  He hung up and looked at him. "I'm sorry."

"I know.  Come on, let's go.  Stella's getting dinner tonight."

"We could cook more often," he pointed out dryly.

"No we can't.  Not after a full day of work.  I'd never do that to anyone.  I'll start a pot of soup later, that won't take much work."  He walked Mac out, nodding at Sheldon.  "Xander caught it for real."

"Poor kid.  He okay?"

"He's running a fever and he's just broken out today," Mac told him.  Sheldon winced.  "Yeah."

"Sheldon, can you check on Monroe?  Please?" Danny asked.  That got a nod. "Thanks."  He walked Mac out to the car, weathering the look.  "She needs ta be here, Mac.  I limped when I broke my foot that time. You're here with chicken pox.  Stella worked when she threw her back so bad they wanted her in bed.  What sort of CSI takes off just because she's got a broken ankle?  That's what crutches and lab stools are for."  He got him into the car and walked around to get in and drive, taking him home.  By the time he got there, Stella had some nice deli soup and sandwiches for them.  "Xander's got it really bad.  Mac thinks he was fever ranting."

"Poor baby," she said, sitting Mac down so she could change the bandages over his sores and recover them with the goop from the tin.  "It looks like it's drying it out too.  That's good."  She recovered them, then took off her gloves.  "There, now we can eat.  Danny, I started a pot of soup base."  He grinned at that. "I was hoping you'd make the one with orzo and the curly pasta.  I even stopped and got the curly pasta and chicken."

"That's good."  He went to check on that, stirring it, then got to work on the chicken. It didn't take that long to rinse it off and drop it into the pot.  Someone had already taken out the extras inside the cavity.  He washed his hands again then stirred it a few times before going out to eat with them.  "Chicken's in, I'll have to skim once an hour."

"That's fine, I can help," Stella promised, grinning at him.  "Thank you."

"Ehh, I'm in the mood to spoil since he's sick."  Mac moaned. "You, quit!"  Mac nodded, going back to his eating.  "You get sick, you get fussed at.  Her heritage and mine?  Yeah, you should've expected it, Mac."

"Can I hide at Don's?" he asked miserably.

"Nope." Stella said, grinning at him.  "He'd try to fuss too."

"Fine."  He finished his soup.  "Am I safe to shower?"

"Let me cover those with a waterproof covering," Stella said, going to get some.

Danny looked at him again.  "Now, what did this teach you?"

"To find out what I have, how to treat it, then run for a hiding spot?"

"Beyond that," he ordered with fond tolerance and a smirk.

"To warn you guys when I'm sick."  Danny nodded.  "Thank you for fussing and making soup."

"Not an issue, Mac.  Go shower.  I'll take last one tonight."  Mac nodded, going to do that then going to bed early.  He got dinner cleaned up and went to check on the soup, skimming off some of the fat.  It'd take a few hours but he wasn't sleepy yet.

***

Horatio answered the phone four mornings later, grunting into it.  "No, he's still here beside me, Ryan.  Very warm too."  He reached over to check his mate's head.  "He needs more tylenol.  What?"  He sat up. "Eric, are you up?"

"Of course."  He brought in the bottle of tylenol.  "That Wolfe?"  He nodded.  "How's Willow?"

"He said she's fine.  Sleeping.  He was called to see if he knew where Sykes took off to."

"She's in your storage room in handcuffs.  She broke in around three."  He shrugged. "I got a good, long taunt about her having broken in somewhere that's under quarantine."

"She's not staying here, Eric. I can't handle a whining woman."   He listened to Wolfe laugh while he shook the bottle.  "Did Todd get his booster in time?"  He smiled.  "That's good.  Eric wanted to make sure....  That's fine.  Check the new computer she got you, you can log in from home to do paperwork.  That's fine, Ryan.  You too."  He hung up.  "She's home now.  In bed for the next week and a half.  I'll add time to his paperwork later."

"I'll call the chief, you get the tylenol down him."  He handed over the measuring cup.  "We need more?"

"He might end up back there if it doesn't break by tonight.  Can you get the thermometer?"

"Sure."  He grabbed it from the bathroom and brought it back, watching as Xander grumbled but woke up enough to take the medicine.  He handed over the in-the-ear thermometer, watching what came up.  "That's high.  Body temperature bath?"  Horatio nodded so he went to run it for him.   Horatio carried the still sleeping guy in.  "He won't wake up?"

"He's not a morning person at the best of times, Eric.  He's always woken up hard unless it's someone intruding."  He heard the shrieking start and groaned, going to glare at her instead.  Finally, someone he could take this out on.  She flinched away from him.  "Erica Sykes.  Breaking and Entering?"

"They said your husband hasn't been at any of the social engagements he's supposed to be at but your nephew went in his place to most of them.  I wanted to know why. I thought something had happened again."

"It did, he has chicken pox.  He called the first one.  Apparently she didn't realize who he was?"   She shook her head.  "Oh well.  He did call.  I'm sure Ray has put it around."

"He did and I heard him apologize to that matron again as well.  That's when she realized it.  She's the one who suggested I should make sure he was still living.  Said he sounded horrible."

"He's running a high fever, Erica.  It's the chicken pox," Eric said blandly from the doorway.  "You still broke into a house under quarantine.  If I can't leave, you sure as hell can't."

"She's not staying, Eric.  The County can house her very well for breaking in here."  He went to call his boss, finding him grumpy this morning too.  "I only need fifty seconds, tops," he offered.  That got a happier response.  "Erica Sykes broke in last night.  She's here in handcuffs.  She's not staying. Wolfe's wife is home now but she's in bed for the next week and a half on doctor's orders.  He needs more time on his leave papers.  I need more things to do. No, he's still running a high fever.  We put him into the bath just now."  He nodded.  "That would be fine. I was going to write her an email and ask her later.  Also fine.  Yes, apparently both spouses conspired to get us computers that could log in from home if necessary.  I can, someone keeps shutting it off because I'm working."  He smirked.  "Probably.  Anything else you need me to do?  Sir, we were all at a convention and arranged with night shift.  Ask her who had body calls."  He shrugged, blunt was best.  "Please come get her.  We'll stake her on the lawn if we have to.  He called Mary.  She's claiming the Mayor's wife sent her.  Thank you, sir.  Just get her out of here.  I can't take a whining woman."  He hung up and went back there.  "Stake her out on the lawn and shoot her if she tries to flee custody."  He went to check his mate, finding him shivering.  He was still fevered but the water wasn't that cold.  "Xander?"

"Pitiful."

"I know you are.  We've got to get your fever down," he said gently.  He knelt beside him, taking it again.  It was going up.  "I'm going to call Alexx, all right?"  He whimpered and shook his head. "I promise, she won't be allowed to fuss, only I can do that.  We have to get it down or you'll be in the hospital."  He nodded, turning to rest his head against his hand.  "Good boy.  You'll be okay.  I promise you will."  He looked up.  "Eric, call Alexx, tell her his fever's still up.  To pick up more stuff for that and to come check him.  Also tell her to pick up more eggs and chicken soup.  He likes the stuff with stars."

"Sure, H. I can do that," he promised from the doorway.  He looked at him. "He need anything else?"

"I need more laundry detergent.  We need to change the bed soon."

He nodded, going to call her and tell her that, adding a few things to the list that he knew cheered Xander up.  He felt so miserable he wasn't even pouting.  He came to the door when he heard a car pull in.  "Hey, Alexx, it's me. Hold on.  Guys, that's Miss Sykes, she broke in last night.  We've got chicken pox in the house."

"We were warned, sir.  Dispatch warned us."  He smiled at him.  "Can we have her?"

"Please.  She annoyed Horatio and Xander's still running a high fever."

"Baths, sir, it's the only way to bring it down.  Or that's how I did my son."  They hauled Erica up and off.

Eric went back to the phone.  "Sorry, Alexx.  They got here quickly to pick up Sykes.  Broke in at three this morning, claiming she was sent to check on Xander."  He snorted.  "No, it's staying up at 102.  Can you come over and bring a short shopping list?"  He grinned.  "Thanks.  Eggs, chicken with stars, Horatio's laundry detergent. Surf. No scent.  Yeah, that stuff.  Stuff for his fever.  We've been giving him child's tylenol because he started out puking badly.  Just stopped last night."  He looked outside.  "I'm not sure. He's so far into pitiful he's not able to pout or whine now, Alexx.  Even Horatio's worried.  Thanks.  Yeah, whenever you've got time." He grinned. "I'm sure the Chief told him but I'll call Ray to make sure he's all right.  Thanks."  He hung up and called Yelina. "Is your son okay doing the rounds for Xander?  If not, I could make Don come do it."  She said a few things, mostly complimenting that her son is having to use manners and dress nicely again.  "That's good at least.  No, he's still pitiful.  Still fevered.  We've already done that and Alexx is coming over today.  He likes the stuff with stars. Wouldn't even eat the deli stuff he likes.  Thanks though."  He grinned.  "No, we're eating normal food.  Sure, Yelina."  He hung up and walked back into the bathroom. "Alexx will be over for lunch or just before. I called Yelina.  Ray's okay with doing his social circuit stuff and hyping Ryan's run for judge too. "

"I called the person he was supposed to interview with last week," Xander said tiredly.  "Told them she was in the hospital.  They arranged a phone one instead."  He closed his eyes again.  "When is Alexx coming?"

"Just before lunch if we don't have a body, or for lunch if we do," Eric offered, looking down at him.  "I'm going to call my mom, see if she can think of anything."  He went to do that in the office, that way he could write anything down.  "Momma, his fever's still up.  Can you think of anything other than baths, tylenol, and rest?"  He wrote down the instructions.  "Are you sure?"  He nodded.  "Okay, do you have any of that?  I know we don't have any of those three flowers.  Thanks, momma.  How's the baby?"  She babbled on about the sweetness.  "We think his mother went out of town, momma.  New girlfriend."  She laughed at that.  "At least she knew someone would take care of the baby.  Thanks, momma."  He hung up and leaned back. "Mom's bringing over an herbal batch of stuff to soak him in, Horatio."

"Thank you.  Any word on Di?"

"Not yet.  Not there anyway."  He called Speed, putting him on speaker since Horatio was coming his way.

"Speedle."

"Hey.  Any word from Di?"

"Not yet.  Who has the baby?"

"My mother," Eric admitted.  "Marisol is getting in good practice with toddlers and my other sister with kids is having fun letting her kids play with him.   He's going to be bilingual before she gets back."  Speed moaned.  "His fever's still up.  Alexx is coming over."

"Wonderful.  Going back to the ER if it doesn't drop?"

"If she says so.  My mom's sending over some herbal stuff she soaked us in," Eric offered.

"Even better.  How's he doing otherwise?"

"Pitiful," Horatio assured him. "How's the office?"

"If you keep doing all the paperwork, we'll be fine.  Calleigh's been doing some of the stuff that's got to be filled out in person.  How much longer?" he pleaded.

"They're still in the early phases," Eric admitted.  "Still full to bursting."

"Eww."

"Sorry.  But hey, you get to taunt Erica Sykes about breaking into our house and Ray Jr. about doing the society thing."

"Hmm, been doing the second.  When did she do that?"

"Last night," Eric said with a big grin.

"Ahhhh.  Yeah, maybe I'll go check on her later," he agreed.  "Tell the son I send hugs, which I'll give in person once he's less contagious.  Later, guys.  Bodies do call."  He hung up.

"Good to know they're keeping busy," Eric quipped, making Horatio snicker at that.  "So, is the way you envisioned your month?"

"No, but then again I never imagined myself married to Xander ten years ago either.  We must move when the opportunities and situation offer, Eric."

"You're going zen?" he taunted.

"I'm going insane without a new case."  The phone rang.  Eric put it on speaker, letting them listen to the gunshots.  "Speed?"

"Nope, me," Don said, mock cheerfully, then fired close to the phone.  "Um, tell Xander I love him but I'm sending him Danny for the week, 'kay?"  He hung up.  Eric logged onto a news site while Horatio went to find CNN.

"Looks like someone's trying to get a suspect out," Horatio called.

"Joy," Eric called back.  He called Speed.  "Watch out for an incoming Danny.  Don just called from the middle of a firefight.  Looks like they're trying to get a suspect free.  He said he's sending Danny."  He hung up and went to watch.  He saw something shimmery off to the side. "Crap, look," he said, pointing.

"Xander!" Horatio snapped.

"Not me!"  He got out and came to look, growling and muttering under his breath.  The guys shooting at the cops screamed and the cops rushed. "Good.  They deserve it."  He went back to his bath.

"Did you do that?" Horatio called.

"No.  The demon already there did.  I was swearing, Horatio, not doing magic."

"That's fine.  Thank you, Xander.  Sorry to doubt you."

Xander settled back into his bath, wondering if he had targeted the demon by accident.  After all, Willow had a lot of problems with her magic.  He didn't feel any worse though so he probably hadn't used any. He decided he hadn't so it was okay.  He hadn't done the bad thing.  He drifted off in there, getting comfortable.  Maybe he'd live in the bathtub for the next few days instead of bed.  It wasn't as scratchy as the sheets.

Horatio and Eric watched as the suspect was recaptured and everything was going back to normal.  They caught sight of Don being looked over, but he looked fine.  They caught sight of Mac and Stella too.  Horatio called Mac's phone, watching him answer.  "Where's Danny?  Don called us.  We're watching it on CNN."  On screen, Mac yelled at someone to back the cameras up and to bring him a report.  The patrol guys backed the cameras out of the site and they only caught a long-distance shot of him now.  Then he reported that everyone was probably fine.  Don had a graze.  Danny had a few grazes.  His cover wasn't as good as Don's had been.  They were all fine.  He asked about Xander.  "He's fine but his fever is still high.  Let me know if we can help, Mac."  He hung up, letting him get back to work.  "He said Danny's fine."

"Uh-huh," Eric said, calling him personally.  "Messer, you good?  Because we've seen the others but not you yet.  You good?"  He smirked. "Uh-huh.  Sure.  Well, we're here and Xander's still sick, with both of us in quarantine.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Horatio, that was inside the lab."

"I realize that, Eric.  They're going to have a few days of fixing that area.  I think that's ballistics."

"Good place to hold a standoff.  The exemplar cabinet and bullets."  Someone knocked on the door so he went to open it.  "Ethan.  We have chicken pox in the house."

"I saw the sign.  I've had them."  He walked inside.  "No, he didn't use magic.  Your mother sent me to deliver herbs?"  He held up the bag.  "What's wrong?"

"He's got a high fever that won't go down," Horatio admitted.

"Two tablespoons of the herbs and make sure some of the purple flowers are in there as well.  Warmish water.  It works like a natural painkiller would.  It should help in addition to the tylenol."  Xander peeked out of the bedroom.  "What?"

"Did I do magic? Just now? I was swearing in demon and the one there ate the bad guys."

"I can check," he offered, going to do that.  He did have a high fever.  It was a worry.  "No, no magic, Xander," he offered, getting a sigh of relief.  He found the bracelet he had given the boy a few years back, putting it on him.  "Wear that until you're better.  That's the one that dampens it for you."  Xander grinned a goofy grin and got back into the bath.  "You really are ill," he said, frowning.  "I'll let your husband get back to fussing."  He walked out.  "He didn't.  I put the dampener on him anyway.  High fevers and illness can make magic break out by accident."

"We had dancing, floating cans of soup last night," Eric agreed dryly.

"Even better. He's still extremely warm.  Try that now if his bath water is clean."  Horatio nodded and Ethan left, going to tell Willow.  Maybe she had an idea to get it back down.  He got her husband.  "I was going to tell her how her friend was doing."  Ryan said he'd pass it on.  "Ask her if she's got a sure-fire way to reduce fevers.  It's been too long now.  Tell her I dropped some of the Talesmar mix from the store she uses when your son has it."  He hung up and got into his car, heading home to bathe.  He hated being around sick people.

Horatio went to rerun the bath and follow those orders.  It could only help and Ethan had looked worried when he came out.

***

Alexx came out of the bathroom.  "Who did he see?"  Horatio handed over the discharge forms and some tea.  "Thank you, Horatio."  She went into the office to call him, coming back with a smile.  "They pulled his chart and the attending is calling him in an antibiotic as well.  Said it might be an underlying infection with the way he was vomiting at first. To keep up the baths and that stuff.  What's that herbal stuff?"

"Stuff my mother used on us," Eric offered from the couch.  "Did you bring me something to do?"

She nodded, pointing at the box.  "From Calleigh, Eric."  He whooped and got up to get it.  She smiled at Horatio.  "The Chief said this doesn't get you out of budget meetings."  He moaned. "Tough.  They can conference call you.  In there's also the dates and times of that.  It's going to be at least another week."

"Please no," Eric begged. "My usual vacations have women."

"I know, Eric.  Maybe you can make Horatio dress up."  Horatio growled at that.  "It's an idea, something to kill the long hours.  Either that or learn how to play video games, boys.  That's what Ryan's doing really.  All his reports are done too."  They chuckled at that.  "Fortunately for Speed, Danny and their lab got sent down while they cleaned up the one up there. Their boss wanted them out of the way since Mac's fussing, still."  She gave them looks.  "It could be worse.  He could be in the hospital.  Lots and lots of adult cases end up there, and if his fever doesn't fall by tomorrow, that's where I want him, Horatio."  That got a nod.  "Good.  Now, I got the shopping list in the car.  Come get it, boys. You're not sick."  They came out to get stuff, Eric trying to take a file from her front seat.  "I need that for court," she ordered.  He handed it back.  "Thank you.  How's the baby?"

"Di's still out of town," Eric admitted.  "We can't find her."

"Wonderful.  I'm going to have a word with the mother of your nephew when she gets back.  You don't do that when you have kids. You leave a list of numbers."  She got back into the car.  "The prescription will be delivered, Horatio.  Expect phone calls if you don't call in."  She beeped and backed down the driveway, heading to grab lunch before court.

They carried everything inside, including the half-case of chicken and stars soup.  "Xander, Alexx got you the soup you like," he called.  "Want some?"

"Please.  I'm thirsty."

"Coming up," Eric agreed.  He grabbed the phone when it rang.  "Delko."  He listened. "DIANA, WHERE IN THE FUCK ARE YOU!" he shouted.  She gave him a weaker answer.  "Xander has chicken pox, we're in quarantine, and my mother's watching your son."  She gave a stronger answer of she'd be home that night.  "Good.  No, he's not fine. His fever's still up."  He made a note on the notepad next to the phone.  "When did that happen?"  He wrote that down too.  "Okay. Anything else?  She got him the booster in time.  He's not sick.  No, Mac had an adult relapse of a few sores.  Xander caught it from him.  Thanks."  He hung up and tore off the sheet, handing it to Horatio.  "What worked on him and on Eric when he had the one with his ear infection.  She'll be back tonight." He called his mother.  "Momma, Di just called. She'll be back tonight."  He smiled.  "I know, you'll pout a lot, but she needs to be the mommy this time.  No, I did yell at her though. Felt pretty good."  He grinned.  "Thanks.  Alexx was just here. He's got more of the soup he wanted.   Yes, momma, Horatio is remembering to wash the sheets every day. Thanks, mom."  He hung up and shook her head.  "She's going to fuss as soon as she can."  He went back to settling the new food in, putting the eggs in the fridge.  "What did you want for lunch?"

"I was going to warm up turkey for hot turkey sandwiches."  He pulled the soup out of the microwave and carried it in there, then came out to get him some juice.  Someone knocked so he went to answer it, glaring at the person with the gun on the other side.  He pointed at the sign, then did a very Xanderish thing.  He slammed the door.  "Eric, report the man with the gun outside," he called quietly while he watched him stand there and look very confused.  He was still looking confused when the officers pulled up, then he threw a fit on them about him slamming the door in his face. Eric laughed from behind him.  "It did feel good."  He opened the door.  "I have no idea what he wants."

"Apparently his boss, Miss Sykes," the officer reported.

"You guys have her too," Eric called, stepping into the doorway.

"You're here too, Delko?"

He nodded.  "I was here when Xander broke out in chicken pox and when he got exposed in New York."

"That could've been during the rescue," Horatio reminded him.

"True, it could've been during the rescue."

"So I take it the convention was fun?" the second officer asked.  He was a friend of Xander's.

"Some moments, some I wanted to kill the FBI director," Eric admitted.  They gaped.  "Yeah, Xander was the one they wanted to kidnap.  That's why we leaked it to Erica Sykes."  They smirked at that.  "Watch out for the New York team to come in.  They got banished after their lab got invaded by guys with guns, all the way to ballistics."

"Oooh," Xander's friend hissed, shuddering.  "They okay?"

"Mostly grazes," Horatio assured him.

"Ow," Xander called loudly.

"I'd better see what that was.  Have fun with him."

Eric waved.  "Alexx is saying at least another week."

"I'll warn the others," Xander's friend offered, pushing the cameraman into the car.

Horatio found Xander had slipped, helping him out.  "What's wrong?"

"Wanted to go to the bathroom."  He gave him a pitiful look.  "I'm sorry I'm so pathetic."

"You're sick, I can accept it."  He kissed his forehead.  "You're a little bit cooler.  Go to the bathroom and then get back in."  He looked, seeing the soup bowl in there.  "Or how about you shower and then go back to bed?"  Xander nodded.  "I'll get you more soup."

"Not hungry anyway."  Horatio gave him a look but left him alone to go to the bathroom in peace.

***

Don knocked on the door, holding up the bag when Horatio answered it.  "From the pharmacy.  They called Speed since they still had him living there."  He handed it over and walked in. "Yes, I've had it.  Where is the nephew?"

"Bed, sleeping, finally," Eric admitted from the couch, looking at him.  "Did you bring us something?"  Don held up the other bags he was carrying, making Eric grin and take them.  "Playstation?"

"Don't tell me Xander doesn't have one."

"He plays video games on his computer," Horatio admitted. "Ray has one we can probably borrow."  He went to call his nephew, getting a pouty boy. "What happened?" he asked in greeting.  He listened to him talk about being dumped.  "I'm sorry, Ray.  No, he's still not better, but Don brought over games and we need to borrow the playstation.  Ray, that's not nice.  Fine, you sulk with it."  He hung up.  "He's sulking to his, Eric.  He just got dumped."

"Shoot."

Don rolled his eyes.  "I'll contribute one to the house so you guys don't go insane."  He shook his head.  "Anything else we need?  Danny and Stella are going grocery shopping and I can call them."

"He only eats chicken and stars, but we've got plenty," Eric offered.  "He's past his thing with goldfish crackers."

"Uh-huh."  He called them.  "Danny, Don.  Pick up a playstation.  No, they don't have one and Ray's sulking with his.  He just got dumped.  Horatio said Xander only plays on his computer.  Yup. They've got plenty of soup he likes.  No, he's a chicken and stars kid."  He grinned at that snort.  "Thanks, guys.  Going out of their minds."

"Alexx said it'd be another week," Eric pouted.

"And Alexx said it'd be another week, guys."  He laughed as he hung up.  "Mac's already hiding at the condo.  They finally let him hide for a bit."

"We found Xander in a closet wanting to hide," Horatio agreed.

"He said Mac would be too and I pointed out Danny and Stella wouldn't let him," Eric told him.

"Sounds like tough guy syndrome."  He looked in the bedroom, hearing a moan.  He headed in there, going to check on him. "Horatio, his fever's back."

"It's time for more medicine," he called, going to get it.

"Get me some alcohol in a bowl and a washcloth.  Diluted half strength."  Eric went to do that, handing it over.  "Thank you.  We can break this."  He swished the cloth around then rang it out well, wiping over Xander's forehead and face, then down his neck.  He rinsed and rewet, then wrung it out again, going over his chest.  The boy started to shiver by the time he got to his arms, then he started to sweat again.  "Hmm, pernicious."

"Word of the day calendar?" Eric teased.

"Yeah, Stella's."  He did the complete circuit again, letting Eric sit him up so he could get his back too.  This time the sweat was more healthy and it started to come back down.  Horatio came in with the medicine.  "That should be enough," he admitted, taking the bowl and getting out of the way. "If it hasn't broken in a half-hour, we'll do it again.  He's lucky, my mother put me in an ice bath.  I had a-hundred-and-five for four days straight.  She was worried about brain damage.  Put me in with my sister too so she'd catch it."  Xander started to shiver.  "There it goes.  Get him into the shower, Horatio.  With you."  Horatio looked at him.  "Seriously.  Do it."  That got a nod and he got Xander into the shower with him.  He handed over the alcohol.  "Put that aside in case it comes back."

"Alcohol's cheap and we've got more," Eric promised, grinning at him.  "My mother and Willow sent over a really good herbal thing for it."

"That stuff's good but only for the one time fever.  Not for a stubborn one. He'd have to be in it for days.  Though it might've drawn some of the puss out.  The stuff she told me she used on Todd does do that very well in a compress she told me.  She used it on some hunting injuries in the past."

"Wow.  I'll have to remember that."

"That's part of her faith and stuff.  I just do what I'm told.  My Ma had to do that a few times to me.  I had mono in seventh grade."  Eric moaned.  "Exactly.  We should remake the bed."  Eric nodded, helping him strip it totally and flip the mattress, spraying it with disinfectant and then febreeze before they flipped it and did that again.  Then the sheet.  Soft cotton ones.  By the time Horatio came out with the sleepy, mumbling Xander they were back to the pillows.  "All done, Horatio. Lay down with him."  Horatio nodded, settling Xander in and letting himself be pulled down when Xander tugged.  They covered them with a sheet and went back to the living room.  Don's phone rang.  "Flack."  He listened.  "8852, Danny.  Sure.  No, it just broke.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "They picked up more calamine lotion too."

"Good.  His back's horrible with it, so's his front and head.  It's in his hair, Don."

"Um-huh.  I had some in my ears.  Within ten minutes I had them bleeding."  Eric winced.  "I had one good one inside my throat and coughed myself hoarse. That was the first time I had ever been in the hospital.  My father said I was too sick to put up with at home."

"How are you?"

"Two grazes, one's got three whole stitches.  They wanted us out of the way in case they tried again and while they fixed the damage."

"Good.  They can use you guys down here.  Why do I have to be quarantined until he's better?"

"Because they can't prove you had it before, dumbass.  How's the baby?"

"Di should about be home from Barbados."

"The sprout is where?"

"Pouting at my mother about the dog going home probably.  It only took him three days to sleep when we got home.  He was mooing all night."

Don burst out in giggles, getting up to answer the door when Danny and Stella pulled up.  Stella gave him an odd look.  "The baby spent three nights mooing and not sleeping."

"That's another good reason why I take the pill."

"He was chasing after my brother's dog, mooing at it at four in the morning," Eric offered from the doorway.  "Need help?"  Danny was leaning against the car laughing, nodding.  He came out to get stuff to bring inside. "We think his fever broke."

"Alcohol bath?" Danny asked Don, who nodded.  "Good job."  He grabbed the playstation box, handing it over.  "Yours."  Don beamed. "You have both systems back at your place, Flack.  You don't need this one too."  He grabbed a bag of groceries and carried it inside, letting Don get the other one and his toy.  Eric came out to get the case of soda and juice for Xander.  Danny looked in all the cabinets, then put things away where it looked like they should go, letting Horatio correct a few things when he came out to look.  "You, back to bed!" he shooed, turning him around and giving him a shove.  "We dealt with a pitiful Mac, we can help you two tonight."  Horatio grinned and went back to holding Xander.

Stella walked in.  "How is he?"

"Slightly warm but nowhere near the fever he had."

She came over to test him, then nodded. "He'll be fine.  It'll probably stay that way for a few more days, while he's got puss."  She looked at his chest, then his hands and arms.  "Has he been scratching?"

"No, he's been in the bath."  She smiled at that.  "He shouldn't have too many scars."

"Good.  What did you want for dinner?"

"Toup," Xander murmured against Horatio's shoulder. "Tars."

"I'll make you some chicken and stars, Xander.  Horatio?"

"I don't care.  Something solid?" he asked quietly.  She winked and nodded, going out to the kitchen, where Danny was warming some soup and adding some star pasta to it.  "Think it'll work?"

"Yup.  Did with me.  I took all the big chucks of veggies out. It's just as salty too.  Just better quality broth and chicken."  He stirred it.  "What about the other boys?"

"Food."

"Hmm.  We got that warm-up-and-eat pot roast and fried chicken."

"Chicken or beef, guys?"

"Chicken," Eric called.

"Either's fine," Don called.

"Chicken it is," she agreed, taking the deli chicken out of the fridge and portioning it out with the sides.  She brought them plates.  She found the tray in the bedroom thanks to Horatio pointing.  She brought it back so Danny could make it up for the couple.  Then she delivered it and made Horatio smile at her.  "We're dealing with the playstation."  He moaned.  "It's all right, Horatio. It'll give him something to do when he's bored but not quite fully better yet."  She went back to watching Don teach Eric the first game.  "He should know.  He plays drunk," she offered.

"Horatio said I could give you a few of my women," Eric offered.  "I know some pretty nice ones."

"Too far to commute for cuddles and sex."

"Sure."  He grinned at him.  "You out of your sulk?"

"Most nights.  Since Horatio yelled at me about the case of lube and handcuffs."  Eric blushed.  "I did?"  Eric nodded, pointing at the box in the corner.  He got up to look then blushed himself.  "Sorry, Horatio.  Guess my drunk ass was feeling slightly kinky."  He went back to the couch and his dinner.

Danny patted him on the back.  "You only sent us a small care package.  That's why Mac couldn't look at you that one day."

"Sorry, Danny."

"You're better now.  No more drunk computing and ordering, or going to porn shops in that case."  He gave him another pat.  "Eric, jump."  He jumped his little man on the screen and kept going.  "I can't believe you started him on Mario Brothers."

"It's where I started," Don defended.  "It's why I've got such good hand/eye coordination.  That and Duck Hunt."

Stella snickered.  "I remember Duck Hunt. I sucked at it."  She sat down on Eric's other side, watching him play.  "Go down on those."  He tried.  "Go to the next one."  He gathered the star and went to the next one, going down.  "See, extra points."  She leaned back to watch the boys play.  Sometimes she felt like the mother of the group.

Danny walked over to answer the door, smiling at the woman on the other side.  "Yeah?"

"Is Xander all better? I noticed the visitors."

"Nah, we were takin' care of the guy who gave it to him.  His fever's broken though. He'll be down to miserable and itchy in no time."

"That's good.  You give him these cookies," she said, passing him a tin.  "Tell him to come over and talk when he's better."  He nodded, smiling.  "He'll know me by the cookies, dear."  She left, heading to the right walkway.

Danny closed the door and went to hand them to Xander.  "The lady who went right on the walkway said to come see her when you're better."

"Thank you.  I'll go see Jill when I can."  He looked at him.  "You make good soup."

"You can tell?"

"It's better and bigger chucks of chicken."

Danny smiled. "You needed it."

"I probably do."  He opened the tin and smiled.  "Butterscotch cookies."  He nibbled one.

"You can have two more after you finish your soup," Danny ordered. "Drink your juice too."  Xander nodded, doing that, then handing him the tray, but keeping the cookies.

Danny put it in the kitchen then went back to watching Eric learn the joys of video games.

***

Eric called Ryan at two in the morning. "How do you get past the third level of Halo?" he asked quietly.  "Because you play them and Don got me hooked.  Please?  He's not as fevered but he's itchy and cranky.  Di's back. She apologized for twenty minutes to my mother. Ma likes her for that alone."  He wrote down the instructions.  "How are they?"  Ryan's 'sleeping' made him chuckle. "Sorry.  It's the boredom, you know?"  Ryan assured him he did know.  "Don got us a playstation."  Ryan said he'd bring over some games when Xander was better, then he hung up.  Eric hung up and went to get past the level that had killed him so many times he was getting a complex.

Horatio came out ten minutes later, saved the game and turned off the tv.  "Bed, Eric.  Now."  He went back to bed himself.

"I had it on mute," he promised.

"I don't care.  It was the flickering lights. Go to bed!"

"Yes, boss."  He went to bed, making notes on what he had done right so far.  He knew they made cheat manuals too.  Ray had some.  He snuck down to the office to email him to see if he had that one.  Then he went to bed.

***

At the end of the second week, Alexx came back to look at him.  "He's still got some puss," she announced.   Horatio and Eric both moaned.  "But the incubation time has passed."  She smiled.  "I can get you cleared to go back in two days."

"Make it tomorrow and I'll push to give you a raise," Horatio offered. She looked at him, then gave the closed bedroom door a pointed look.  "He wants me to go away and quit fussing too."

"I'll see what I can do."  She went to call the person in the health department who dealt with quarantine issues, getting her permission since Horatio had it already and Eric was still clear.  She came out of the office and nodded. "Tomorrow and I have to check Eric for the next three days anyway."  He nodded at that, quickly.  "What's wrong, Eric?"

"I told him to quit calling me Master Sergeant earlier," Horatio said grimly.  "He was half asleep."

"Ah, that game.  Don said he gave you guys some games."  She shook her head. "Change games, Eric."

"I'm nearly all the way through!"

"Can you finish it tonight?"

"Yeah, hopefully within ten or thirty minutes.  Depending on how bad the last three panels are."

"They're hard, baby, it'll be an hour, even for real teenagers.   You do that."   He cheered then ran to do that.  "You're leaving the game here."

"Okay, did you want to borrow it?"

"No," she snorted.  "I don't like the violent ones."  She looked at Horatio, who smiled.  "Tell him the good news."

"I heard him cheer.  He's back to wanting to hide."

"That's fine," she agreed.  "Some boys are like that.  Stella said she had to keep Mac from hiding."

He nodded.  "He's that sort.  He complained Mac got to hide."  He smiled. "Is anything going on there?"  She shook her head.  "You're kidding?"  She shook her head.  "Maybe it'll perk up?"

"No new bodies in four days, Horatio."

"Damn."  He pouted, going off to tell Eric that. He found him looking at the cheats manual and closed it on him.  "Cheating is wrong, Eric.  Even on videogames."

"It's got hints."  He reopened it and found his spot, then unpaused the game and got back into it.

Horatio shook his head, going to sit on the porch.  At least the water didn't make funny noises at him.  She came out to join him.  "How much longer should he be sick?"

"When the last one dries completely, he can get out of the house.  Until then....  Could be four, five days maybe.  Adult cases are always harder."

"Especially on lovers and spouses," he agreed.  "That fever had me worried."

"He passed my quick cognitive test.  He's fine, Horatio."  She patted him on the hand.  "Are you expecting to be fussed over?"  He nodded, smirking at her.  "Payback?"

"I had better never get sick again.  He vowed that yesterday.  Plus, the holidays are coming."

"Um-huh.  Definitely."  He shivered.  "Exactly. By the way, I know what he got you," she said with a smile.  "You can use it and it'll make you happy."

"Another hummer?"

"Calleigh only dented yours so no.  The fender was easily fixed."  He rolled his eyes.  "The fire truck hit her, Horatio, not the other way around.  She was parked and doing paperwork when they had to dodge around an idiot who didn't pull over on a residential street."  He groaned at that.  "It's fine.  She's done all the paperwork.  The fire department is pretty red in the face too.  Oh, they gave Erica a citation and let her off the hook but her camera guy is still in jail.  The station wouldn't bail him out."  He smiled at that.  "Did you really slam the door in his face?"

"I wasn't armed, Alexx.  I was in sleep pants."  She giggled at that.  "Really."  She gave him a look.  "Xander's a bad influence."

"Uh-huh."

Eric came out. "I won."  He grinned at her.  "Xander has this really bad habit of running around naked and sliding into his lap.  Fair warning. Did it when Stella and Danny were here before they left, right next to Stella."  Horatio blushed at that.  "She did that too," Eric quipped with a grin. "Brighter than you are."  He looked at her again.  "Danny looked over at her and said he'd be spanking her if she looked. Then he called Mac on the way out."

"I'm sure they made sure she couldn't sit in other ways," she said wisely.  "Your nephew is fine, Horatio. He's been around a few times. He made sure you haven't killed each other from the boredom."  She smiled at them.  "So, cookout next weekend if he's better?"  Horatio nodded that was fine.  "Good.  What's he doing?"

"Playing on his laptop," Eric said with a smirk."I want that game."

"No more games, Eric," Horatio ordered.  "They rot the mind."

"They haven't rotted Ryan's yet."

"That's one paranoid man," Alexx assured them.  "He's always got his earbud in, walking around calling her every thirty minutes the first three days he was back.  Eventually she called Speed and asked him to find him somewhere dirty, nasty, and where he couldn't bring his phone.  Speed walked past him, yanked the earbud on the way past him and took the cellphone without stopping.  Told him she was fine and complaining.  He could have it back in two hours.  He handed it to Frank, and the scene they were going on.  Ryan got it back an hour and a half later and called her immediately, waking her up and getting a mood swing in the ear."  Eric chuckled at that.  "Remember, Eric's parents' anniversary is next weekend."

"We're going to that as well," Xander promised as he came out, sitting in his usual chair.  Horatio looked at him. "No offense but if you try to cuddle me again, I'm hitting you."

"I understand, Xander.  As long as you still cuddle at night I'll be fine."  He nodded he would.  "Good. I can go back tomorrow."

"Good because you're driving me insane.  I'll even clean the house, just go away.  Now.  Please?"

"Tomorrow, Xander," Alexx said firmly.

"No, now!" he whined. "Please? For my sanity?"

"Fine, we'll go check the office, make sure it hasn't fallen in," Eric promised.  "I'll go home tonight."  Xander smiled at that.  "I know you still love me, it was the enforced cohabitation."

"That and seeing you in those green briefs."  Eric blushed and nodded, heading inside to pack since he could be released.  Xander looked at his mate. Who just smiled.  "Wear the green pants and a casual shirt?"  Horatio nodded, going to do that for him, heading out with Alexx, who was still chuckling.  "Finally!"  He went to clean up the house and air it out. He left the sign up since he was still contagious but that was okay. He could air everything out.  Including the bed.  It got put onto the porch.  He was tired of the smell of lysol and febreeze.  He tossed the sheets in the washer and went to the laptop again, going to fix that.  He hated that bed. Really, really hated that bed.  And those sheets. It'd be months before he could look at those sheets.  Even his favorite sheets.  Then he ordered new video games.  He had played all the ones Don brought and beaten most of them.

He called Ray Jr.  "I'm almost better and Alexx released them, finally!  No, she said I've got four or five more days.  Getting a new bed and sheets so I don't have to look at those.  I know I'm still sick but I'm down to six or seven spots left. I can cover them.  I will be covering them.  I don't care!" he whined.  "Any games in particular you need over here?"  He grinned. 'That works, but I've played that one.  I need something I haven't played."  He found that one and looked it over, then got it to. "Okay, anything else?  Isn't that porn?"   He giggled and did that too.  "Thanks, Ray."  He hung up and finished the order with a few new books for Horatio and his son.  Then he paid for it and sent it.

He called the mother of his son.  "Di, it's me.  I'm nearly better.  Four or five more days.  By the time the Delkos have their anniversary party.  How is he?"  He grinned.  "Is he still mooing?"  He chuckled at her threat.  "I don't know who taught him how to moo.  Sure.  Once I'm fully better.  How is she doing?"  He smirked.  "So, special occasion?"  He nodded.  "That works for us, you know that.  Thanks."  He hung up and got back to fixing the house so it was clean and *his* house again, not his, Horatio's, and Eric's house.  Because they were not a trio and he was not sharing his mate with Eric.  No matter how much he liked him.

***

Horatio came home that night to find a few things changed, like a different bed.  It was nice, a pillow top, just as firm, the pillows were new too, and new sheets.  "You didn't change the frame?"

"If I have to smell lysol and frebreeze one more night I'm going to throw fits," Xander said without looking up from his reading.  "Seriously."

Horatio laughed, laying down next to him.  "Same brand?"  Xander nodded.  "It's nice."  He stole a kiss, getting a grin.  "Feel better?"

"Yup.  Much.  They're covered but I need you to cover the one on my back so I don't have to hide these sheets too."  Horatio laughed and got that for him, letting Xander take off the t-shirt he was wearing.  "The others are on the bottom of the stack in the closet."

"How many sheets do we have now?"

"Four new sets.  That should give me enough time to get over the hatred of the old ones."

"That's fine.  We only used three sets."  Xander looked at him.  "Not like I was going to put the *good* sheets on the bed, Xander."

"They're in their special spot.  These are everyday, comfy sheets."  He let Horatio look at his back. "Can you put the stuff on it too?"

"Of course."  He spread the calamine and then bandaged the sore.  "It's mostly dried up."

"I want them fully dried up.  I'm down to cheerios or cooking."

"If you cook, I will have to yell."  He snuck a kiss once he was done, letting Xander curl up naked next to him again.  "Still don't want cuddled?"

"If you want to, I'm back down off my 'going to run screaming off a cliff' phase."  Horatio finished getting undressed and through his nightly ritual, then curled up next to him, letting Xander set the level of cuddles that night.  "How did you get the fever to break?"

"Don gave you an alcohol bath.  It took two passes but it broke."

"Have to remember that."  He yawned and snuggled in.  "A few more days then I'll get to make my apologies in person."

"Ray made most of them for you and the Chief made some.  He was very happy to have us back.  Things went smoothly.  Speed captured his newest suspect in the act of beating his girlfriend into silence.  Eric jumped in to help on Calleigh's case, making her sigh in relief.  It was a body dumped into one of the smaller waterways just outside the city.  So he even gets to dive tomorrow."  Xander grinned at that, he could feel it.  "I, of course, had paperwork that Speed neglected."  That got a quiet chuckle.  "So, anything else that needs fixed around the house?"

"Can we have a dog?"

Horatio made Xander look at him.  "Eric doesn't live with us that often, dear."

"But I like dogs too."

"We'll see."  Xander grinned.  "At least you didn't order one."

"No, I'd go to the pound."

"Hmm."  He looked at his mate.  "We'll see."  Xander squealed and hugged him.  "Is he still mooing?"

"Yup. Looked right at Beth and mooed, made her cry.  Di had to do some explaining about the odd son of ours."

"Who's Beth?  The new girlfriend?"

"Well, semi-wife instead of girlfriend but Beth is her new assistant.  She's a bit on the heavy side, about fifty pounds overweight, she thought the baby was making a comment."  Horatio hummed again, nodding at that.  "Now she's teaching Eric how to bark instead.  So he's not mooing as much and occasionally he baas and occasionally he clucks and now he barks.  Having a dog would be a good thing.  It'd give me someone to run with when I don't run with you.  We could play on the beach together.  We could watch tv together on your late nights.  I'd get something with short hair that didn't shed as often if I could.  Plus, hey, Eric loves dogs.  Dad loves dogs so he could babysit if we had to go out of town for some reason, like heading to New York to kick Mac's ass over treating Danny like crap again.  Oh, and Stella too.  Or he could stay with Calleigh, she likes dogs.  I think Eric likes dogs, he lets his brother-in-law's mutt into his lap all the time."

"Those are all very good selling points, but they create messes, Xander."

"They'd be house trained, Horatio."

"You're not always here all day."

"We have a yard.  I can easily put a line out there and let him hide under the porch if I'm going to be gone that long."

"That is a good point, but that would get the lawn messy."

Xander looked up at him.  "Can I have a snake then?"

"If the choice is a snake or a dog, I'd rather have the dog.  We'll talk about it this weekend, Xander."

"Sure.  I'm being good, I'm not even asking for the beagle puppies that were born up the street.  Just a harmless little stray dog who wants to be loved.  Because the shelter is overly full."

"We'll talk about it this weekend, Xander."

"Yes, dear."  He settled in.  "You spoil me horribly."

"I do," he agreed, tolerant smirk in place.  He really did.  He let Xander get away with anything, including buying a new bed.  He had liked the old mattress but this one was comfortable.  He yawned, letting himself drift off with thoughts of a happy husband who had a dog's tail for some reason.  He wasn't sure why he was dreaming about dogs.  He didn't like animals that much.  Maybe Xander was contagious in other ways.

***

"Your son is an airborne pathogen," Horatio said when he ran into Speed the next morning.

"What did he do this time?"

"Made me not care that he replaced the bed on me and bought more videogames."

"Uh-huh.  And?" he asked, looking at him.  "What else did he do?  That's not enough for you to usually fuss. You were complaining about the old bed anyway, Horatio."

"He bought new sheets too.   Claims he doesn't want to see the others for a very long time."

"Yeah, and that's reasonable after being that sick.  What else did he do?"  Horatio got into his phone and handed over the pictures he had been sent on his way in.  "Oh, he wants a dog."  He nodded, handing it back.  "Willow warned me he'd start begging for a beast to play with once he got truly comfortable and realized it wasn't going to go away on him."  Horatio looked at him.  "That's a good thing," he prompted.

"I just had the mental picture of coming home to the whole pound being in the house."

"Um, no.  He'd have someone go to the pound with him," Speed assured him.  "Xander is realistic, Horatio.  He knows he'd bring home more than he should."  Horatio moaned.  "It means he's comfortable and he's realized it won't end."

"Which is a good thing. It's only been two and a half years," he noted.  He shook his head and headed to his office.  "Anything yet?"

"They're all on spring break."  He went back to his lab, going to work on a cold case for a bit.  He'd have to call his son later to make sure he hadn't been at the pound yet. Hopefully Horatio would not come home to a houseful of dogs and cats, but with Xander going alone....  He made the call now.  "Promise me you will not go to the pound alone, Xander."  He heard the nice response.  "Why are you asking *him*?"  He nodded.  "That's fine.  When?"  He smirked. "Are you sure he's relented? He claimed you infected him with bad thoughts.  No, coming home to find the pound was now in the house."  He chuckled.  "Fine.  Yup.  Talk to him *first*.  Get him to agree.  Let him have some say in the matter, Xander.  Thank you, son."  He hung up and found Horatio watching him. "He's already okayed it with the person he'd bring with him."

"I can't go?"

"He said you'd be busy this weekend."

"Why?"

"I don't know.  He said you'd be busy this weekend.  He asked your brother."

"Why?" Horatio asked again.  "He doesn't like Ray."

"I think that's the point.  He can't get chummy and talk him into it, like he could any of us, Willow, Di, her new girlfriend Taylor, or the son."

"No, our son is not to go to the pound yet," Horatio sighed. "Do I get any say?"

"Yes, but he thinks you'll give in."

"I don't want some messy beast in the house.  I've seen the Delko's dog and what it can do to the house."

"That's a matter of bad training, Horatio," he said dryly.  "Trust me.  A well trained dog doesn't eat the couch or shoes.  Or your suits."  Horatio snorted. "Ask your neighbor."

"She's working on house training, still.  After three years," he complained.

"Okay, ask Calleigh. She's got them all around her and she babysits."

Horatio went to do that.  "Can dogs actually be trained not to make a mess?"

"Small messes are normal in life, Horatio.  They like to lay in the laundry.  They like to run and jump and play in the house.  They will shed some, but if you brush them and give them regular baths that's minimized."  She smiled at him.  "Xander sent me puppy pictures too.  He got your text message id wrong."  He moaned, shaking his head.  "It'll be okay.  You've seen my place after the worst trained dog was there.  You called it a comfy mess."

"I thought Eric's family's dog was the worst trained."

"Hey!" Eric complained from behind him, frowning.  "He's a good dog, he just chews on stuff now and then."

Horatio looked at him. "Xander wants a dog."

"Of course he does. He never had one.  If he tried to have one his parents probably killed it in front of him."  Horatio tensed at that.  "It means he's comfortable and he's finally accepted that you're not going to leave him.  Besides, that's a matter of training.  My brother-in-law thought it was cute he chewed on things as a puppy and never stopped him."  He shrugged and looked at Calleigh.  "Did you get the dog of the week from the pound picture too?"

"Is your phone id anywhere near Horatio's?"

"Yeah, about two up.  Why?"

"He got me by accident. I texted him back and got back an 'oops'."  She grinned.  "What's the dog of the week?"

"A greyhound."

"No.  Nothing that big," Horatio complained, going to call his husband. "Xander, no greyhounds."  He heard the suggestion.  "We can look at the website tonight.  We'll talk about it afterward.  They might not have anything that you'd.... I know you'd take any dog you could have....."  He mentally groaned.  Then did it out loud.  "We'll see."  He hung up and put his head down, shaking it.

Frank looked at him.  "What did your boy do this time?"

"He wants a dog."  Frank laughed so he looked at him.  "He's starting a campaign. Which is nice considering he bought a new bed yesterday after I left."

"You said it was hurting your back a few months ago."

"He said he didn't want to smell the lysol anymore."

"Yeah, that could factor into it.  My mom did the same after I had chicken pox.  Decided I could get sick off it again."  He shrugged.  "He buy new sheets too?"  Horatio nodded.  "New frame?"   That got a head shake.  "Then he was reining himself in, Horatio.  Not like the boy can fight those urges.  Then again, maybe he's picking up on Wolfe's OCD issues.  He's cleaned a few times that I know about."

"He only cleans when he's thinking or he's upset," Ryan said from behind him. "No, he's not picking up on it.  He's upset."

"About?" Horatio asked patiently.

"Worried about Willow.  Worried about the foundation.  Worried about Don.  Worried that he still wants to kick Mac's ass for upsetting Danny and Stella before they left because he snapped at them.  Worried that he can't handle the foundation if something happens to Don.  Worried that going back to school is the wrong thing to do.  Worried that he's going to mess up in public and make things harder on you.  Or haven't you realized almost everything he does, including most of the spoiling things, is to make your life easier, better, and more happy?"  Horatio gave him a stunned look.  "His favorite show used to be I Dream of Jeanie I think.  Personal opinion but he seems to mimic it now and then."

"I don't treat him that way," Horatio said quietly.

"No, he's making you happy so you don't send him away," Frank told him.  "That's why he checks *everything* with you.  Except the spoiling stuff.  Buying the bed was probably the first major thing he added to the home that was just his touch.  Because let's face it, Horatio.  His other house, it ain't like yours."  Horatio leaned back, thinking about that.  "So the bed's his contribution.  Did you yell?"

"I mentioned. I said it was nice and I liked it."

"Good.  Look forward to throw pillows next," Ryan offered.  "He got decorating hints from Willow and that's where she started too.  Then it moved onto glasses for some reason but not the rest of the dishes."  He shrugged and walked off. "He's feeling comfy, Horatio.  It's a good thing."

"I keep hearing that."

"Uh-huh."  Frank looked at him.  "My first year with my wife, she redecorated my house, rearranged my bank accounts, bought me all new clothes, which were better than I had, and made me miserable by changing every single thing in my life."

"I've had someone do that to me too," Horatio agreed.  "That's one thing I like about Xander.  He lets me be without fussing about things like the couch."

"You told him to buy a new couch."

"He did, and I do like it.  I'm replacing the chair no one likes with one from the same set actually."  He made a note to do that.  He sat up.  "You really think this is him starting to put a stamp on the house as his house too?"  Frank nodded.  "Why not sooner?"

"Horatio, how long did it take the boy to realize you weren't leaving him?" he asked quietly. "You know he'd never leave.  He'll cling like a leach if you're unhappy with him.  He doesn't want to think about being sent away or you leaving him.  He's lost way too much over the years.  You and Speed are his solid foundation.  Well, and I guess Willow too, but mostly you two.  It took him a little over two years to realize you weren't going to abandon him, make him go, or sell him."  Horatio glared at that.  "She said they did it a few times, Horatio.  Of course they're both worried.  They raised each other.  Wolfe had to learn that really early on when she talked to Xander every day about every thing to make sure it was something he thought Ryan would like."

"The answer to that was being more vocal about what I liked and didn't like," Ryan said as he walked behind him. "She still has her moments of insecurity.  She probably always will.  It's like that when you have parents who ignore you."  He looked into the office.  "By the way, I'll be committing homicide in two weeks, a double one.  Would you like to me to blatantly leave the bodies *here* or try to hide them to give you a case?" he asked with a grin.

"Her parents coming to town?" Frank asked.

"Her parents, his uncle for some reason."

"No way in hell," Horatio said firmly, standing up.  "Only with supervisors."

"They're adults, she reminded me of that.  Said I couldn't kill them in front of her," Ryan said, still grinning.  "I'm already on medicine to calm me down for it, so it has time to build.  Maybe you should look into that?"

"Can I yell at your wife?"

"She's fine.  They think it was food poisoning that started some cramping and that started the preterm labor by cramping behind the uterus.  I have no clue and it sounds far fetched to me, but I'm not the doctor and she only gave them disgusted looks instead of quoting chapter and verse on them."

Horatio called Willow, waving at them to close the door. They came in and closed the door.  "Willow, it's Horatio. What's this I hear Xander's uncle is coming down?"

"Yeah, Rory.  He went back to Sunnydale and my parents have been watching out for him.  I have no idea why he's coming."  Todd burped.  "You're old enough to apologize, son.  Say excuse me."  The baby babbled.  "Close enough until you talk for real."

"Willow, he doesn't have to excuse belching until he realizes it's a bad thing," Ryan said gently.  "That's about three or so."

"Eric's mother said it was good to start reminding them of that this young."

"That's too young, Willow.  Three."

"Fine.  I'll lay off the manners until he's three."

"Thank you, dear."  He'd be talking with Eric about that in a few minutes.  "Why are your parents coming anyway?  They didn't want to see Todd when he was born.  They were only in Atlanta at the time for a convention and wouldn't take the day to come down."

"I don't know.  I really don't.  I'm almost worried it has to do with the inheritance Xander got on Rory's part."

Frank snorted.  "No, I'm pretty sure that's his reason.  What about your parents?  Horatio wants me to keep your husband in line that week."

"Good luck.  All I could get him to do was not to kill them in front of me."

"He asked if he should hide them or not."

"Word of advice, honey.  Take them down to Tentacles, someone down there will eat them."

"Less messy of a cleanup," he agreed dryly, smirking.  "How do you know that?"

"I asked about possibly removing Erica Sykes a few months back when she was hinting so very hard about you and her getting it on again and how she liked that tongue thing."

"She was drunk, Willow."

"I don't care, sweetie.  Next time, I'm going Xander on her."

"Sure.  Just let me be able to deny any knowledge and clear the kids out of the way."

"Sure," she agreed cheerfully, and you could tell she was smiling about it.  "Horatio, I'm not sure.  They said they wanted to see Xander, and you.  But mostly me and him.  I don't know why."

"That's fine.  I would prefer if Xander, if not you as well, don't meet them alone, Willow.  I'm worried about what it'll do to Xander's mental state."

"He doesn't have a clue they're coming yet.  I haven't told him."

"He bought Horatio a bed yesterday."

"Yes!" she said happily.  "Oooh, let's snoopy dance, Toddy!  Yes, the Xander is happy and in love and he knows no one's going to break them up!  Yes, the unclie Xander is a happy boy!"

"Mamamamamamamama!"

"Son, it's all right.  She's in a good mood," Ryan called, shaking his head.  "Let him crawl and do his own dancing, Willow."

"Fine, spoil my happy mood.  Someone's got to teach him to snoopy dance and Xander claims it's stupid so he won't."

"I didn't say it was stupid, I said it was silly but cute," Horatio told her. "I'll fix that one later. When they get here, did you want anyone other than Ryan with you? Speed, Calleigh, me?"

"You might want to stick close," she admitted. She heard the doorbell ring. "Oops, gotta go."  She hung up suddenly.

Ryan looked at the phone, then at him.  "Did you know your husband gave my wife a loan?"  He shook his head. "Neither did I.  It was to cover the time I had to take off now and when the baby's born.  I'll make sure it's paid back by the end of the year."

"That's fine, Ryan. I expected that one sooner really."  He shrugged.  "I know he helped her buy your new computer."

"Yeah, and it's a nice system," he agreed. "I'm glad most of my paperwork was online. I would've went more insane than Eric did."  Frank gave him a look.  "He called at two in the morning about video games, Frank."  Frank burst out in giggles, leaving the office on that. "Do you want them hidden or not, Horatio?"

"Hide them, Ryan.  We may both be complicit at that time."

Ryan stood up.  "Good to know I'll have help hauling the body down there."  He walked out, going back to work.  "Hey, Speed, Eric?  Can I have a few?"  They came out of the labs to join him at one of the hallway junctures.  "Willow's parents and Xander's Uncle Rory are coming down next week.  He doesn't know yet."

"So you're telling us before you commit the homicide?" Eric checked.

Ryan beamed and nodded. "Yeah, I am."

"Why is he coming?" Speed asked.

"No one's sure why *any* of them are coming," Ryan admitted. "She's not sure why her parents are coming.  They were in Atlanta right after Todd was born and refused to take a day to come down and see her then."

Speed patted him on the shoulder. "If they ask, it's all in a trust, he only gets an allowance, and they're not gay.  If they try anything funny or make her cry, you call *me* and cite me often."

"Horatio suggested supervising the visit."

"I'm there," Speed agreed.  "When?"  Ryan wrote down their flight number and day and time.  "I'll even pick them up," he agreed, smirking at him.  "Thank you, I needed to threaten someone today."  He went back to his lab, going to think up good threats in advance so he had a head-full ready.

Eric looked at him.  "Does she want a dog?"

"I came home to new fish one day.  She likes fish."  He shrugged and walked off.

Eric walked back into the lab he was working with Speed in.  "That bad?"  Speed growled without having to look up.  "Never mind."

"They're the sort who knew all the books and can't deal with people, especially a young girl."  He looked at him.  "Willow called me when she took up with Tara, who is a very nice young woman.  They claimed it was a phase, that she was rebelling, and that she would come back to the family when she finished growing up."  Eric growled.  Speed grinned.  "Exactly."

"Need more help supervising?"

"No, but I might need help planting surveillance devices in the house and making sure Xander knows he can't take them out or take them out of the house."

"That won't work.  He'd hate being told that."

Speed leaned on the lab table, leaning forward.  He pulled out his cell and put it on speaker, dialing the house.  "Xan, it's me and Eric.  Can you sit down?"

"I am.  I'm lounging and checking my email.  Why do I have one from Willow's mother that I'm nearly scared to open?"

"Her parents are coming down with your Uncle," Eric told him.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, that's why we're calling," Speed said more quietly.  "Ryan and Horatio want someone to supervise it when they're with her.  We were kinda hoping you'd allow us to do the same."

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"I'm a big boy. I can look at my uncle and tell him to fuck himself with the biggest dildo on the planet all by myself."

Calleigh choked.  "Why are we talking about those things?" she asked with a hot blush.

"His uncle is coming along with Willow's parents."

"Okay," she squeaked.  "And that topic...."

"I can tell him to do that to himself all by myself. I don't need a handholder," Xander said patiently.  "I'll be *fine*.  Really!"  He hung up.

Speed closed his phone and put it back.  "So, if there's a homicide, we'll be helping Ryan cover it up.  Sorry," he told her.

"Take it down to the demon bar, maybe someone there would eat them.  No coverup needed," she offered.  "Why are they coming down?  I remember Willow crying about them refusing to before."

"His uncle, probably about the money," Eric offered.  "Her parents?  No one's sure yet."

"Joy.  Can we mine the house with cameras?"

"No, not without his help.  He could easily take them outside or out of the house," Eric told her.  "They do most everything on the porch.  Nowhere to hide one."

"Under the grill," Horatio said from behind Calleigh, stepping in.  "There's a good hiding spot under there."

"Good idea," Eric agreed.  "What if he takes him out?"

"He's still wearing the GPS chip and there's only a few places he'd go," Calleigh pointed out.  "The park, a few restaurants..."

"The yacht club," Horatio admitted.  "He likes to have lunch there.  But they'd cooperate to keep the possibility of a fight out."

"No, that would show off the money," Speed noted.

"Why is he at the yacht club?" Eric asked. "He doesn't own one."

"I'm not sure and he's refusing to tell me," Horatio admitted.  "I have the feeling one was recently auctioned off."

Everyone looked at Speed. "No comment."

"Speed," Horatio said, moving closer.

Speed glared at him.  "He made me promise not to tell you and Cheline as well."  Then he grinned sweetly.  "By the way, I'm not allowed to tell you a thing about who sent them either."

Horatio looked at him.  "What aren't you telling me."

"It's not criminal.  I'm not breaking the promise.  Xander is more important to me than that, Horatio.  Ask your spouse."

Horatio called Xander.  "Xander, what isn't Speed telling me about the auction?"  He got hung up on and looked at his phone, then put it back.  "Speed?"

"Horatio," he said, staring him down.  "Xander made me promise.  He said it's already stopped, it's been handled.  He'll tell you.  Just probably not today.  I told him about the visit."

"I'm going home for lunch," he decided, heading back to his office.  He called his spouse from up there.  "It's just us in the office," he said into the speaker, speaking quietly.  "What is going on, Xander?"

"Nothing."

"Now?"  Xander hummed.  "No, that's my line," he noted dryly.  Xander snorted and you could hear a quiet groan. "Who is that?"

"Di. She brought Taylor over so I could meet her finally.  Are you coming home for lunch?"

"If I do, we'll be talking."

"It's handled, Horatio."

"Xander."

"Horatio."

"Xander, I need to know if this is something important.  Was it another stalker?"

"No comment.  It's fixed."

"Fixed how?"

"Fixed fixed."  He hung up again.  He looked at his friend and her girlfriend.  "Sorry about that."

"You didn't tell him about her?" Di asked bitterly.

"Nope, nor am I.  He'd worry horribly.  She's in the mental hospital.  Danny helped me with that.  It's handled."  He looked at Taylor.  "No one will come after you."

"Good, I like that," she said, smiling and flipping her brunette hair over her shoulder.  "So, I know you're gay...."

"Bi," he corrected, smiling at her.  "I just dated evil, bitchy women before.  Horatio's my first and only."

"Awww," she said with a grin.  "You look happy."

"Two years of happy."  He grinned at Di.  "I'm begging for a dog."

"If you piss him off...." she started.

He shook his head.  "Phil knows.  Danny helped me fix it when they came down the last time before I was sick.  I'm not going to disappoint him by telling him one of the society women was hunting me to turn me straight and have me herself to get the money.  She was doing it to discredit Patrick and all them.  She's violently anti-gay and was going to try to use me as a poster child.  And yes, I know you'll tell him if he thinks to ask you, which is why I'm telling you.  I can't tell him."

"Sure, if he asks, we'll tell him," Di promised.  "Anything else we can tell him?"  He handed over a picture he had printed off.  "He'll be too small to run with you, Xander.  You'll need someone to run with you."  She handed it back.  "Suggest he go to Speed.  He's scruffy just like him."  Xander beamed at that. "Anything else you want today?"

"I wanted to meet and talk with the woman who would be so important in my son's life.  Plus also in the newest one's life maybe."

"She is?" Di asked hopefully.

"She's keeping mum until the anniversary party.  Which means probably."  He beamed.  "A baby Horatio."

She squealed and hugged him.  "I'm so happy!"  The door slammed in and she flinched back.  "Who in the hell are you?"

Xander stood up, looking at her.  "What do you want, Rory?"

"You don't give me respect?"

"You haven't earned it."  He shrugged.  "Di, this is my uncle.  Uncle Rory, this is the mother of my son."  She shrugged.  He grinned at her.  "I know.  Why don't you take Taylor and go?"

"Going," Taylor agreed, giving him a hesitant look.  He blinked and glanced at Di.  She smiled at Rory. "Nice to meet you, sir.  Come on, Di."  She got up and followed her out, walking around him.

Xander looked at his uncle.  "Why are you here already?  Willow told her husband you were coming in next week."  He sat down.  "By the way, I have chicken pox.  I'm still contagious if you touch me so close the door, okay?"  He closed the door and walked in, sitting across from her.  "Why are you here?"

"You owe me."

"For not killing you?"  His uncle glared at him.  "I could have."  He shrugged and got comfortable.  "What do I owe you for?"

"For sending your girl after you when he sold you."

"She learned how to hack to find me one of the times.  I'll call her and see if you did.  If so, you have my thanks."

"You owe me more than that."

"It's all wrapped up in a trust, Uncle Rory.  All I get is a monthly check from it."

"You can get more."

"For things like ransoms.  Of course, if you touch my son I will kill you."  His uncle sneered.  Xander reached under the couch and pulled up a gun. "I'm married to a cop.  Do you think I can't use it?"  His uncle looked stunned.  "I should also mention I'm gay thanks you to you and Father.  Thank you for that."  He got up and stomped out.  Xander put the gun back and got up to play some video games to relieve the stress.  He jumped a few hours later when the door opened, looking at his spouse. "Don't do that, please?"

"Come home?"

"Sneak up on me."  He paused his game before he died and turned to face him.  "The reason I didn't tell you was because I don't want you to be disappointed in me."

"Did you cheat on me?"

"No.  She tried really hard.  She tried really hard by slipping alcohol into one of my drinks at a social event."

Horatio came in and sat on the couch, looking at him.  "You never told me."

"She's violently anti-gay.  She's trying to discredit Patrick and us.  She wants me to turn and become hers so she can prove that gay men can go straight."  His mate looked unimpressed.  "It was handled and she's in the mental ward."

"Who helped you with that?"

"Danny."

Horatio looked at him.  "Why not any of us?"

"They'd tell you."  He shifted so he was more fully facing him and more comfortable, curling up so he could put his chin on his knees.  "I didn't want you to be disappointed in me."

"Why would I be disappointed in you for her mental issues?"

"Because I drew another one," he said miserably.  "Again."

Horatio got up and pulled Xander up to look at him.  "I'm not disappointed in you.  I'm mad at her.  Are you sure she's still in there?"  He shrugged.  "Yacht?"

"Not her," he admitted. He groaned and walked him into the office, pulling open one of the filing cabinet drawers and pulling out a folder, tossing it in front of him.  "I keep all those things in here with the binder."

Horatio looked at him. "I would rather have you *tell* me than stumble across it, Xander," he said gently, watching him slump in on himself. "It's not a criticism.  I know you're not comfortable doing that. That you hate these people as much as I do."  Xander nodded quickly.  "I know that some part of you gets a small thrill, it's the same part that thrills when you tease others.  It's the part that made you such a good stripper.  I don't mind that small, miniscule part.  I know it's not the main part of your personality.  I'm not disappointed when it happens.  I get jealous."

"I don't want them," he said quickly.

"I know.  You've not wanted any of them."  He pulled him into his lap, giving him a hug.  "I know that, Xander. Remember, I held you when you cried because you got another one sending you things," he said quietly, making Xander nod and relax.   "Now, what's this stuff?"

"Gone."

"Besides that?" he asked, poking him gently. "The last auction?"

"One before that."

"We had one before this one?"  Xander nodded, pointing at the folder.  He opened it, staring at the auction forms.  He looked at the date, then at him.  "I know Cheline wants you to have someone she can contact in case it doesn't go for the base price.  Who did it?"

"Mac," he said quietly.  "He suggested I not tell you about this one."  He flipped a few pages and handed him the suicide note and will that were paperclipped together.

Horatio read the note then looked at him. "Who was he?"

"One of the guys who I danced with.  He was on his last month as a dancer my first.  He was the me before I was me.  He went to a sugar daddy, who died.  He decided it was pitiful that I found love and he couldn't.  He realized his daddy was just using him because he was young and pretty.  He was nearing thirty and couldn't find another one. They kept comparing him to me, saying he wasn't the pretty thing he had been.  So he decided he couldn't go on and I deserved it more so I'd have something so I could stay young and pretty so you'd never send me away."  He looked down at the form.  "He got a bit confused.  I found love but you'd send me away for not being young and pretty."

Horatio gave him a squeeze and dropped the papers.  "Is that why you belong to the yacht club?"

"I inherited the boat and the membership.  They agreed I could sell the boat and keep the membership because I like the restaurant and I'm in the better social circles.  Of course, it doesn't hurt that the chef likes me and puts on elaborate shows for my pleasure whenever I go in."  He gave him a sheepish look.  "That's how I've been getting my negative attention fix in.  Letting him make me towering, sugary things that are fantastic creations."

Horatio smiled.  "Bring me in for lunch?"

"I'm forbidden.  He might get jealous and try to stab you.  Remember, he works with scary, big knives."  He snuggled into the welcoming arms.  "I met Taylor."

"That's good.  Is she nice?"

"Very.  Like an ungeeky Willow with a touch of Marisol's glamor."

"That's good.  I look forward to meeting her for real."  He stroked his back. "What happened?"  This wasn't the normal 'another one's gifting me' cuddling.

"He was here," he said quietly.  "I threatened to shoot him."

"Who?"

"My uncle."

Horatio reached for the phone, hitting the speed dial button for Willow's house.  No answer.  He called Ryan's phone, still on speed dial. "Tell me your wife is with you."

"No," he said slowly over the speaker.  "Why?  And for the record, I'm on a scene."

"Call every number you have for her."

"Why, Horatio?"

"My uncle showed up today," Xander said quietly.

"Fuck!"  He hung up and started to call around, starting with Eric.  "I need you here.  I know it's lunch, Xander's uncle showed up early."  He hung up and called the house, then her cell.  No answer.  He called their neighbor's house. "It's Ryan, is Willow not at home?  No, I got bad news about someone who's looking for her."  He listened to her report she had visitors earlier.  "Male and female?  Like parents?"  He groaned.  "Okay, is my son still home?"  He listened.  "Thank you.  No, I'm coming."  He hung up and found Alexx looking at him. "Willow's parents have kidnaped her and the son.  Um, I called Eric, have it."  He ran for his hummer and headed for the house.

Alexx called Horatio. "Ryan just said his wife and son were kidnaped by her parents?"  She groaned at the longer explanation.  "Okay, I'll make sure Eric's on his way here."  She hung up and called him.  "Eric, baby, I need you here on Ryan's scene.  No, he thinks his wife and son were kidnaped by her parents and Horatio said it's entirely possible.  He's going to their house right now.  So I need you with me."  She looked up.  "Conquistador.  Thank you.  Front fountain, baby."  She hung up and looked at the patrols.  "It's gonna be a few, make sure Delko gets in here." They nodded. "If you see Wolfe's wife we need to know." They nodded harder.

***

Eric hung up from the second one and looked at Speed.  "I've got to take over Ryan's scene.  He thinks her parents took her and Toddy."  He gathered his kit, handing over the evidence he had in there, then headed off at a run for his hummer.  This was a bad thing. A very bad thing.

***

Horatio got there before Ryan, he lived closer.  He caught him at the door, making him stop.  "By procedure," he ordered, staring him down.  "By the book, Ryan.  I want them if they did."

"I want them fucking dead!" he shot back.

"That's fine.  We have the death penalty. You can make an impassioned plea.  By the book, Officer Wolfe."  Ryan took a deep breath and handed over his house keys.  Horatio opened the door, his weapon in his other hand.  "Willow?  Todd?" he called, walking inside.  Not much was out of place.  A lamp.  A few toys.  A throw on the back of the couch was missing. He moved into the bedrooms, checking them.  He came out of the last one and found Ryan in the kitchen, staring at the stove.  "Note?"

"Todd."  He pointed in the oven.  "I can hear him. It's not on.  I'm scared to look."

"Move."  He opened the door, looking at the baby.  "Toddy?"  He sniffled and held up his arms.  "Come here."  He pulled him out, looking him over. "You're all right.  Here's daddy."  He handed him over.  "We'll take him to be looked over, Ryan."  Ryan nodded, going to the couch to sit down and look him over.  "Any obvious bruises?"

"Bump on his head.  Scratches.  Nail polish," he said, pointing at it.  Horatio went to get his kit from the hummer and brought it back with officers on the way and an APB out on them.  "Why would they do this?"

"I don't know yet," he offered quietly.  "I'll be finding out and you can watch."  Ryan nodded that he would be.  Calleigh came in first.  "I'm taking samples from the baby.  He was in the oven.  It wasn't on."

"Thank God!  Any word on Willow?"  Horatio shook his head.  "Okay, I told dispatch to alert all transportation out of the city.   How long was he in there?"

"I don't know," Ryan admitted, smiling at his son.  "It'll be okay, I've got you, Toddy.  We'll get the mommy back very soon."

"Do we have pictures?" Calleigh asked.  Ryan pointed at the wall behind him. She looked and found a picture of Willow in her graduation outfit and another recent one of her.  She went back to her hummer to fax them in.  "It's me," she reported.  "Frank, I just sent you pictures of Willow and her parents.  Toddy's fine. He's here.  They had him in the oven but it wasn't turned on.  Thankfully.  Put out an all points.  All hotels, all airlines, even private terminal.  Yes, now.  I don't know."  She hung up and went back inside, going to talk to the manager.  "Do you have surveillance on the parking lot?"  He nodded, leading her to the security office.  "Thank you."  She smiled sweetly.  "Ryan's wife is missing."

"Are we getting the FBI, like in that show?"

"No, she'll be back soon or else Ryan's going to destroy everyone," she said seriously.  He nodded, understanding that.  "Expect some cops in and out of here."  He nodded, going to find their lone security guard and warn him.  She popped the tape out and walked it off, going to bag it and head back to the hummer to look at it.  "They had her at gunpoint.  She's crying," she reported when Horatio walked up behind her.  "Did you print the doors and things?"  He handed them over.  "I told Frank to check all hotels and transport."  She looked at him. "Is he okay?"

"No.  I wouldn't expect him to be.  I'm taking him back to the office after we take Todd to the ER to be checked out."  She nodded. "Keep me informed."  She nodded again so he walked off, going to get them.  He walked Ryan and the baby out, taking the diaper bag.  The carseat was gotten out of the case in the back and put in for him, Ryan sitting next to him.  "We're going to the ER, Ryan.  It's all right.  He's fine."

"I'm going to kill them.  Fussing over Toddy is keeping me from hunting them down with your husband."

"That's not a bad idea," Horatio admitted, pulling out and heading toward the usual hospital.  He called Xander.  "Xander, can you track Willow?  It appears her parents have taken her."  He listened.   "Why should I call Ethan?"  He smiled.  "Thank you. Is she all right?"  He nodded. "That's fine. Thank you, Xander."  He hung up. "She teleported.  Used the last of her magic to get free.  She's with Ethan, he felt her and helped shield the baby."  He called him. "Ethan, Horatio.  Can you send Willow to the hospital?  That would be fine.  We're taking Toddy since we found him in the oven.  Thank you."  He hung up. "She's passed out, he can do that.  He'll have her with us soon."  Ryan nodded, his face still hard.  "Frank has their pictures, Ryan.  Let the process work and we'll have them."

"Sure, and then I get to feed them slowly to some alligators, right?"

"If I can arrange it," he promised. He pulled into the parking lot and parked, walking around to get Ryan out of the back.  Ryan took the baby and he let him.  "Inside."

Ryan nodded, heading that way.  "My son was nearly kidnaped and someone put him in the oven, it's a gas oven but it wasn't turned on," he told the receptionist.  He pulled his badge up.  "My wife is on her way in, she's pregnant. She escaped."

"I'll find you a room.  Are we expecting more officers?"  He pointed at Horatio. "Ah, Lieutenant.  I didn't see you. That's fine.  Let me tell the nurses it's a police matter."  She went into the back, coming back with a nurse.

"Are we needing to do a SART kit?" the nurse asked quietly.  Ryan shuddered and shook his head.  "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Her parents are bad but not like that."

"All right.  Let's get the poor little guy out of his choke hold and examined."  Ryan looked down then eased his grip.  "It's normal," she assured him.  She led him to a room, Horatio following.  "Camera?"

"Already done most of that.  We need to make sure he's fine."  She nodded, getting her things to examine him. "It was a gas stove but it wasn't on.  He wasn't directly on top of the pilot light. We're not sure how long he was in there.  The surveillance camera on the parking lot doesn't time stamp."

"Okay.  Related, Lieutenant?"

"All the lab is my family," he assured her. Willow walked in, slamming the curtain out of her way.  "As far as we know he's fine," he assured her.  "Are you all right?"

"Fuck no," she growled.  Ryan pulled her closer, holding her but keeping one hand on their son.  She relaxed against his chest. "I'm sorry."

"What was their damage?"

"They wanted me back.  Didn't want Toddy.  Didn't think he was mine."  She pulled back to look at him. "Can I kill them now?  I'm sure I can rig up a way to hold them so the alligators only get a few inches of their bodies at a time, and a way to cauterize it inbetween meals."  He grinned at her. "You can help.  I'll need help hoisting them at first anyway since Xander's still got chicken pox. He'd want them at the demon bar to be eaten but I think that's more suiting.  They decided I should come back to the family now that I was over my supposed acting out and running away phase."

"You're twenty-one," he pointed out patiently.  "You have your own family.  Fuck them."  She looked at him, giving him an alarmed look.  "I know, I don't use that word hardly ever.  I will this time."  He hugged her again, letting the nurse have his son since she wasn't moving him and Horatio was there. "Are you okay?"

"So far. No new cramps. I had one when I got free but nothing else yet."  He nodded, pulling back to look her over, taking her shirt off her.

"Um, Ryan," Horatio warned.  Ryan growled at him.

"Let's get you a bit of privacy," the nurse offered, taking Horatio out.  "Was she serious?"

"About her parents?  Probably. About the alligators?  I'm not sure.  It's possible."

She smiled. "It's not a bad idea.  We had one woman whose husband had pushed her into an alligator cage but that's as mean as we usually get."

"Was he reported?"  She nodded.  "Arrested?"

"Yes, and she cackled as he was led off complaining that it was his right."  She patted him on the arm.  "So far the baby looks okay.  Give me a few more minutes."  She tapped on the curtain then walked back in, finding them in the chair with the baby.  "Can I have him back for ten more minutes?"

Willow looked at her.  "Why?"

"He was in the oven," Ryan told her.

She looked at her son, then at the nurse.  "Please. If he's hurt I get to beat them with a shovel before I feed them to the alligators."

The nurse smiled and took the baby back to the table, making sure she was on the other side so they had clear line of sight to the baby.  Worried parents they were going to be for a *long* time.  "Lieutenant, did you get a picture of this bruise on his stomach?"

"He fell into the coffee table this morning," Willow admitted, getting up to look.  "You didn't have that earlier.  Did it just sprout like you?"  The baby burbled and smiled, waving his arms and feet.  "I love you too, Toddy.  Don't worry, you've got lots and lots of aunts and uncles, you don't need those grandparents."

"I've got my family," Ryan reminded her.

"And I love your mother, even if she was the one who made you clean."  She grinned back at him.  "Where are we staying tonight?"

"I don't care as long as it's safe."

"I'd offer you our spare room but Xander's still got some pustules," Horatio offered.  The nurse looked at him.  "End of the second week of chicken pox."  She hissed at that. "They're covered, have been since we were released from quarantine."

"Good!  I'd suggest a hotel. Many layers of security before they get to the door."  Ryan shook his head.  "No?"

"No, he's a bit anal about cleaning," Willow admitted. "Hotel rooms are grungy and he's a CSI so he knows how bad they can be."

"Ah.  I saw that report on the news last year."  Ryan nodded at that.

Horatio laughed.  "Kids, go use the hidden spot."  They looked at him. "Xander will agree. It's in a gated community.  He's got guns and bullets there if they come back."

"Thank you, Horatio."  She hugged him.  Then sat on her mate's lap again. "Sorry about his tummy, he really did trip and fall into the coffee table.  I looked him over really well afterwards and he acted like it didn't hurt."

"Babies get bumps.  Is he very clumsy?"

"Yup," Ryan admitted. "Then again, so was I.  My mom got social services called on her eight times by the time I was six because of all the times I fell and got hurt."  Horatio looked at him.  "I walked a bit funny."

"He's barely standing and trying to walk.  He was lunging from your chair to the table and fell."

"He's lucky he didn't get his chin and snap his neck instead," Ryan admitted.  "Then again, I broke my ankle in a walker too."  He shrugged.  She smiled at him.  "You weren't clumsy?  Or did they have padding?"

"They padded everything. Until I was two."  She shrugged.  "They were trying back then."

"They're trying my patience now," he assured her.  "Should I call mom?"

"No, please no.  She'll cry.  I can't take more crying.  Xander will fuss too."

"He's still got pustules, he's not allowed out yet," Horatio reminded her.  "But he did meet Taylor before his uncle showed up.  Said he got to threaten him."

"Rory was probably after the money."  Horatio nodded.  "Is he okay?" she asked the nurse as she brought him back.

"Just fine, ma'am."

"Willow."

"Willow then.  He's just fine.  That's the only bruise.  He's got a few scratches, a red spot on one of his legs from being near the pilot but nowhere near a burn.  He'll be fine.  Watch him for any coughing or breathing troubles but I don't think he was in there long enough to have been bothered by the gas."

"Thank god that thing leaks air," Ryan sighed, hugging them both.  "I'm sorry, Horatio."

"No, I wanted you to take off to be with them, Ryan.  It's not a problem.  When this happens, I want the spouse to go running.  You were more coherent than I had hoped for by calling Eric first."  That got a gentle smile.  "Now, let's get you two to the hidden house.  There should be food in the pantry and freezer.  If not, call us and we'll bring you something so you don't have to order.  Okay?"  Ryan nodded, getting up and putting her back on her feet, letting her hold the baby while he had her in his arms.  He smiled at the nurse. "Thank you."

"Not a problem.  You'll get her parents?"

"If it's the last thing I do," he assured her, smiling slightly before leaving.  He ran into the news crew outside and pushed the cameraman out of his way. "Go away, Erica."

"What happened?"

"A kidnaping attempt," Willow called. "Ask the PD."  She glared at Erica, making her back off.  "Thank you."  She got the baby into the seat, taking one side of him, Ryan the other, and then Horatio got in to drive.  "Please don't let them follow us."

"They won't."  He plugged his phone into the radio and took off, taking them that way, leading the person tailing them on a merry chase.  He dialed dispatch. "This is Lieutenant Caine.  We're still looking for the kidnapers but I have the young woman and her son with me now.  Plus their husband.  We're being tailed.  I didn't know we had GPS in these," he admitted.  He smirked. "That's us.  Please head them off and see if they're her parents? I can't tell.  If anyone asks where she is, she's safe and Xander's got her.  Yes, my husband Xander.  Thank you."  He hung up and called Speed personally.  "Going to the bolt hole."  He hung up.  Someone called back so he put it on speaker.  "Caine."

"Bolt hole? I take it we have at least one of them?"

"I magiced my way out and Toddy was in the oven," Willow told him.  "I wasn't inside when that happened."  She looked at her son. "I'm going to kill my father for that. Know where we can get a slowly lowering frame so I can feed them to the alligators slowly?"

"We use them when we have to haul up sharks," Speed offered. "Probably won't hold them both though."

"That's fine.  One can go and the other can watch and scream and wail," Ryan agreed.  He looked behind them as cars stopped the person following them. "Ooh, nice."

"Very," Horatio agreed, turning the corner. "Any luck finding them?"

"Yup, airport.  They claim they want her back where she belongs now that she's finally over her rebellion and all those pesky teenage phases."  Willow groaned. "Was Rory there, Willow, or did he just show up so Xander could threaten to shoot him?"

"No, he wasn't there."

"That's fine.  Toddy okay?  I'm assuming but he's all right?"

"He's fine.  Had a booboo this morning but otherwise just scratched and banged up," Ryan assured him.

"Booboo?"

"I tripped horribly as a child.  He's got that from me," Ryan admitted.

"That's fine.  Need anything from Calleigh and I?"

"No, I left some diapers there the last time," Willow admitted.  "There's a diaper bag, we'll be fine, Timmy. Thank you."

"Welcome, Willow.  Frank talked to them, they're waiting on the FBI now since it was an attempted kidnaping across state lines."

"No, we want them to die," Ryan assured him. "They won't kill them."

"They'd get it in prison," Speed reminded him.  "Don't worry so much, Ryan."

"Fine.  Thank you, Speed."

"Welcome.  Relax and hug.  Remember to eat tonight."  He hung up.

"He's a good dad," Ryan said, looking at Willow.  "The few years he had you and Xander, he was good to you guys and he's still a good dad."  She smiled at that.  "Of course if you tell him I said that I'll spank you in unfun ways and then go clean the bathroom again."  She giggled and hugged him.

Horatio pulled up to the gate, nodding behind him.  "They're staying for a few days.  She and the baby were almost kidnaped."

"That's fine, Lieutenant.  Are they on the last list?"

"Wolfe. Ryan and Willow.  Son is Todd."

"Got 'em.  Thank you."  He let them in and Horatio drove on.

"Tonight just relax."

"Does that mean I can't figure out where Xander's real arsenal is?" Willow asked.

"Yes."

"Okay. Why?"

"Because he wants to keep that hidden, Willow. He's taking some very dangerous things from Toby and hiding them so no one else can get them."

"Oh.  Okay.  So I can't browse?"

"No, I wish you wouldn't."

"Fine.  I'll be a good girl."  Ryan looked at her.  "I will."

"The last time you told me that, you staked a vampire on our front porch."

"Well, yeah," she admitted. "He was standing there."

He kissed her.  "Don't ever change."  She beamed.  "We won't go looking for Xander's hidden secrets, Horatio.  Did you figure out this morning's issue?"

"Not totally but he showed me where to look and who to talk to."  He pulled into the driveway and parked, looking at them.  Willow pointed so he groaned. "Not like I've been back here.  Sorry."

"We can walk the last few feet," Ryan admitted.  "Thank you, Horatio."

"This is what I do, Mr. Wolfe.  Keep them safe tonight.  Call if you can't make it in tomorrow."  He nodded, getting the baby and getting out.  Horatio backed out of their other driveway and headed back to the office to do the reports on this. Someone would want them.  He found his boss in the office and looked at him.  "What?"

"They're fine?"

"So far.  Her parents?"

"In federal custody.  I heard the baby was in the oven?"

"It wasn't on."  The chief sighed. He smirked. "You like Willow."

"It's hard not to," he agreed.  "Anything I need to know?"  He shook his head.  "I heard you asked about the yacht."

"How did you know about that?"

"I heard the gunshot," he admitted blandly. "He was one of my neighbors.  I found the suicide note."  He shrugged.  "I reported it and had to do paperwork on my anniversary thanks to him.  Did you look it over?"

"No, why should I have to?"

"The will, from gossip, stated that he's not allowed to give you any of that money or anything that he got from him.  That it was for him and him alone to make sure he had money to keep himself young and pretty and so he was taken care of when he couldn't fake it anymore."  He stood up.  "Not that I think your boy needs it. By the way, tell him Margaret is out and fuming, but not coming near him again. She's decided she can pick another posterboy for changing back."  He grimaced.  "Good luck with her. I'd consider a restraining order."

"I'm just now learning about that situation."

"Ah."  He nodded. "Ask Messer.  He's the one who compiled the list that got her confined as a danger to others and herself."  He walked off.  "Don't use the company phone, Horatio."

Horatio took his hand off the desk phone and pulled out his cell, calling New York.  "Daniel, who is this woman who threatened my spouse and what did she do?" he asked smoothly.

***

Danny looked at his phone. "Shit," he muttered, looking at Mac.  "Horatio found out about the Margaret thing."  He put him on hold. "What do I do?"

"Come clean, Danny," Mac ordered.  "Like I said you should have before."  He gave him a look.  "Remember to stay calm.  Horatio won't hurt you since you were protecting Xander."

"Where did I leave that file?"

"Somewhere in the labs."  He shrugged. "You didn't tell me.  You told Don.  He's in Brooklyn."

Danny grabbed the desk phone. "Where did I leave the file on Margaret Brunt?"  He listened to the grumbling.  "Don, Horatio found out. Where?"  He smiled.  "Thanks."  He hung up and went back to his cell.  "Sorry, Horatio. Had to finish something before I could talk."   He listened to the question again.  "Margaret Brunt?  She's just some rich Asian lady with an exhusband who left her for his lover and now she's violently anti-gay and using your boy to try to prove they can be turned straight again.   She was in that specialty place out towards Tampa."  He nodded. "That one.  I had the whole file on her in the lab.  Last place I remember I had it was ballistics.  Sure.  Of course you can pump me for more information later.  Sure thing.  Hug Xander for me and Toddy.  He could probably use it with the new baby on the way.  What do you mean she got kidnaped?"  Mac put down his pen and looked at him, Danny shook his head. "Well, at least you got her back.  The baby's okay?  Good.  Let me know how many pieces they got torn into.  Sure.  Later."  He hung up.  "Her parents tried to take her back home since she was clearly out of her rebellious phase.  They're both fine so far.  At the bolthole."  He stood up.  "We done?"

"No, sit!"  Danny sighed and sat back down.

***

Horatio walked into ballistics, looking at the male tech who did the job when Calleigh was busy. "Messer left a file here on a Margaret Brunt. Do you know where he put it?"

"In the exemplar cabinet.  I told Calleigh it was out of place but she said it was fine.  It's a clear violation of policy, Lieutenant."

Horatio nodded.  "It's not an active case, so it's probably fine."  He walked over there to retrieve it, finding it stuffed behind some shelves.  He walked out and found Calleigh giving him a guilty look.  "He made you promise as well?"

"No, Speed did," she said sheepishly.  "I know we're supposed to but he and Danny had it, Horatio."

"I realize that but you could tell me when it's done with.  She's out of the hospital."  She groaned.  "Exactly."  He went back to his office, reading on the way.  It was very well documented.  Danny had done a good job.  He had even got three of the ADAs to sign statements about her 'attack' on Xander at a party at the yacht club.  He flipped to that report, finding the yelling match and then she tried to get him drunk and drugged part.  He leaned back, going over it in minute detail. He remembered the night Xander only made it to Speed's and slept on their couch.  Now he knew why.  And the other time too apparently.  He kept reading, calling the house.  "Making sure you're still there and fine."  Xander shot back that he was fine and still here and that no, his uncle hadn't come back, but he was making himself lunch.  "That's fine.  She attacked you how many times?"  He smirked at the sullen answer.  "He's only got two....."   He flipped back to a report, an arrest report.  "I see.  Thank you, Xander.  Be careful, I got told she's out but doesn't want to bother you."  He hung up and went back to reading that.  Interesting.  Highly interesting.  She had tried to stab him while drunk and Xander was magnanimous enough to not press charges.  He'd have to remind people to tell him these things.  Quietly of course.

"Um, lieutenant, there was a report of shots fired at Detective Salas' house," one of the patrol guys called.  "I don't know why.  Officers and CSI were already sent."

"Thank you."  He got up and headed out, going to kill someone if his family was hurt.  He found his brother drunk, his nephew even closer to passing out, and his sister-in-law on the couch crying with a body on the floor.  "What happened?" he asked calmly.

"He broke in and tried to hurt mom while she was sleeping," Ray Jr. slurred.  "I caught him touching her."  He finished that beer and leaned on his father's shoulder.

Ray Sr. looked at him.  "He grabbed my gun, Horatio.  He yelled and woke his mom up, she screamed, he lunged with a knife, which is somewhere under the bed, I kicked it, and he shot him for trying to hurt her."  Ray handed his son the rest of his beer, getting a head shake.  "You sure?"  Ray nodded.  "Okay.  You pass out in a few."  Ray nodded again, letting himself fall asleep. "Good boy."  He looked at his brother.  "I was out for a run, I came home to it.  I home-medicated him."

"And yourself I see."  He called dispatch.  "I need the ME at my location.  No, she's fine. It was an intruder.  Whoever's free, but not Wolfe.  He's off for the rest of the day.  Yes, we found his wife and child. Thank you."  He hung up, and Yelina was glaring at him. "Her parents tried to take her and stuffed him into the oven, but didn't turn it on."

"They're alive?"

"In federal custody.  She wants to slowly feed them to the alligators."

"Not even they would eat that trash," she said blandly.  She pointed at the body.  "How long?"

"She's at lunch.  So probably within minutes."

Eric came walking in.  "It's nice to be back.  What happened?"

"Ray Jr. found him sneaking in on his mother, yelled to wake her up, she sat up, he went for her with his knife, which Ray Sr. said he kicked under the bed somewhere, so my nephew shot him.  They're both drunk."  Yelina snorted.  "He won't have nightmares this time," he offered.

"I did the same thing after my first one.  Only took me two weeks to get sober."

"He'll be sober by tonight," Horatio assured her.  He looked at Eric and waved.  "Have fun with this."

"Why is he out here, Yelina?"

"I drug him out here.  I know it's against protocol but I didn't want him in my bedroom."  She shuddered. "Eww."

Horatio sat beside her, letting her curl up against him. "Did you know about this last person after Xander to hurt him?"

"Margaret?  I helped hide the aborted arrest report."  He glared at her. "He begged, said you'd be disappointed in him."

"I'm not disappointed in him, I'm furious with her."

"She's in the hospital."

"She's out now," Eric offered.  "Speed checked since it had been way too many mentions today."  He got to work on the body, finding all the evidence he needed.  He found the knife within a minute of searching, bringing it out.  "Yelina, you'll want to switch out that one shoebox with baby pictures.  It's got blood on the corner."  She nodded, shuddering again.  "It's all right."

"It's not!  Who is this person?"

"I'll find that out once we've got him back at the office."  She snuggled in again, glancing outside at the two drunk Rays.  Then she shook her head.  Eric grinned. "I know, but it helps lube sleep for the first night."  Speed walked in.  "I can handle it."

"I'm here with another issue. Who's he?"

"Not a clue yet.  No ID on him."

"Well, at least he did one smart thing and didn't bring his ID on a heist."

"I doubt he was trying to rob me," Yelina offered bitterly.  "He had a knife and was in my bedroom."

"Eeeh.  Never mind."  He handed over the envelope. "Just got delivered, the Chief said you needed that immediately.  No matter what."

She opened it and glared, handing it to Horatio.  "I take it I'm handling this case?"

"I can't.  Frank can't, he about hit her.  The rest of us are near family.  I don't think he wants any of us to handle it but you've got the calmer temper."

She looked at Horatio.  "Can I stay at the bolthole tonight?"

"Ryan and Willow are there."

"Damn."  She grimaced at her drunken relatives.  "I can't stay here."

"They can go to a hotel," Speed reminded her. "You can go help Ryan fuss."

"I should stay with him.  He is my son.  Even if he is turning into his father now and then."

"He won't turn out the same, Yelina," Horatio assured her quietly.

"No, if I catch him with drugs, I'll kill him."  She heard a car pull up and got up, going to look. "Suzie."  She walked out there. "Not a good time.  They're drunk because Ray Jr. had to shoot an intruder," she said quietly, getting a horrified look. "He was coming for me with a knife.  Ray medicated him with beer."

"I can see why.  When's a better day?"

"Tomorrow might be good.  They'll both be at the station for a while probably but should be okay."  Suzie smiled at that.  "By the way, Xander's just now getting over chicken pox.  He's down to five sores."

"I heard.  Ray Jr. told me."  She grinned. "We're getting to go home."

"Oh, congratulations!" she squealed, hugging her.  "I'm so happy!"  She smiled at Madison. "Finally!  More outpatient treatments?"  The girl nodded, smiling at her. "I'd let you come in but someone tried to break in and Ray's a bit asleep right now.  How about we come bring you dinner tomorrow night?"

"That'd be good," Suzie agreed, smiling at him.  "Thank you, Yelina.  So much."

"She's my stepdaughter," she reminded her, smiling slightly.  "The same as Ray is partially yours."  That got a blush.  "The younger.  You can have the older one."  She giggled at that.  "I'll bring Horatio and Xander if he's cleared up.  Anything special?"

"Mexican is nice.  She's been missing tacos."

"I can do that," she promised, hugging her again. "Horatio's inside.  Horatio!"  He came out and smiled at Suzie.  "She's finally getting to go home."

"I'm so glad," he said, hugging her, then getting in to hug Madison.  "I'm so glad you're better."

"Me too.  Why is he sleeping on the front step?"

"A bad man tried to break in and scared him.  So he drank something to knock himself out.  We haven't moved him yet."

"Oh. Is everyone okay?" He nodded.  She smiled again. "Good!  I like it when everyone's okay.  Can Uncle Xander come?"

"We'll see, sweetheart.  He's just getting over chicken pox."  She giggled at that. "Yeah, he's down to the last few sores so if he's okay I'll bring him.  If not, I'm sure he can come steal you and take you to the park as soon as it's all right."  She nodded, still smiling. "Good girl.  You go home and rest, put up all your books and things, all right?"  She nodded.  "We'll see you for dinner tomorrow night."

She leaned closer.  "Can I have a chocolate cake?" she hissed.  "I miss chocolate cake."

"I'll do my best, princess."  She beamed and he got out, closing the door gently.  He kissed Suzie on the cheek.  "Have fun putting up her books.  I'll make sure she gets what she wants tomorrow night."

"Thank you, both of you."  Suzie got back in and started the car, closing the door and backing down the driveway to head home.

"He's down to five sores."

"I'm going to check with the hospital first, make sure it'd be okay."  He went to do that from inside the house.  Yelina had the number next to the phone so Ray could check on her.  "Hi, I had a question.  Yes, this is he," he agreed, smiling a bit.  "No, my spouse is down to the last five sores of chicken pox.....  Dinner tomorrow was the idea.  How long?"  He nodded. "That's reasonable. That's why I'm checking. Thank you."  He hung up.  "He'll have to wait a week after all his sores are cleared up, just in case of a relapse."

"We can't be too careful with her health," she agreed, sitting on the couch again.  Alexx walked in and looked at the body, then at her.  "Don't ask me, he had a knife, Ray Jr. shot him for me."

"Good son."  She got down to look at him.  "He bled out pretty quickly too.  He still going to the range?" Horatio nodded.  "Shot was to the lung."  She looked up. "Efficient yet painful."  She went back to it.  "We'll take him."  She motioned the body handlers to come in and she got up with Eric's help.  "It's been a busy day.  Couldn't you have stayed home a few more?"

"Xander would've killed me," he reminded her. "Do you know about this Margaret Brunt person?"

"Not a bit. Who's she?"

"The one who gave Xander liquor. She's trying to make him straight so she can prove a point," Eric shared.

"Is she the one who tried to stab him at the yacht club or the one who tried to bash his head in at the mall?"

"Mall?" Eric asked.

Horatio groaned.  "We are all going to sit down together as a group tonight and everyone will tell me all about the troubles Xander has been having and keeping from me," Horatio ordered, staring Alexx down, then Eric, then Yelina.  "Am I understood?"

Alexx pointed at his nephew.  "Ask him.  He knows more than you think, Horatio."  She smirked.  "I knew about the yacht club because one of my girls goes there and saw it.  The mall?  Well, it was probably a misunderstanding.  He said gaybashing; didn't look any different to my eyes."

"He dead too?" Eric asked.

"Sore.  Xander whooped his butt good," she said happily.  "He pulled off when security got there. Some idiot cop from the other side of town."  Horatio moaned, sitting down again.  "I'm sure his people found out why and stopped him," she assured him.  "We were out picking Yelina's Christmas present up."

"Tonight, before we all go home," Horatio ordered.

"Yes, sir," she shot back with a smirk. "You sure you don't want to ask Ray Jr. first?"

"He's very drunk," Yelina told her.  "Ten beers."

"Hmm.  Good tolerance."

"His father shared."

"Even better. Means he hasn't done it a lot."  She followed the body out.  "You know where to find me when you're ready, Horatio."

Eric gave him a shrug. "I only hear it as gossip, usually from Marisol and Di."

"Could he be afraid that thing he staked was right?" Yelina asked.  Horatio nodded.  "Is she?"

"No.  I'll be making sure of it."  He went to wake Ray Jr. up, getting a sleepy glare.  "We have to talk, young man."

"I 'pologized.  He was going to hurt mommy."

"I'm not talking about that.  I'm glad you shot him, it was the right thing to do.  I want to know what Xander's been hiding from me."  Ray giggled at that. "Raymond."

"What?" Sr. asked, sounding grumpy.

"The other one.  Junior?"  He stared down in him in that arch 'I know you're going to tell me what I want to know' look.

"Oops?"

"No, Ray. I need to know to protect Xander."

"He didn't want to worry you about what she said."

"I'm not, I'm worried about him.  Now, give."

"I'm really drunk."

"I realize that, Raymond."

"You might try my computer journal."  Horatio went to do that.  "But it might not hold everything.  I'll tell you when I wake up again."  He fell back against the side of the house, falling asleep again.

Yelina came out to toss a sheet over both of them, shaking her head at the peering neighbor.  "He shot the intruder."

"Oooh, that poor thing. No wonder he's stone drunk. His daddy did a good thing."

"Yes, but I don't want to move them yet.  Sorry about the noise."

"Oh, it's not a problem, dear.  Sometimes people come after cops.  All the tv shows say so."  She disappeared, going to tell the other ladies in the neighborhood what had happened.

***

Horatio walked into his home that night, smelling food, which was nice, if a bit scary.  "Who cooked?"

"The instant meat you just warm up people."

"Okay."  Xander could do those.  He walked out onto the back porch, sitting across from Xander instead of next to him, making Xander give him a scared look.  "Gaybashing?"

"He jumped my ass."

"I know.  I asked.  You never told me."

"I figured you'd go off on the guy and I'm very sure he's sorry now."

"I can almost understand that, but you still should've told me and then assured me it was handled.  That doesn't explain why I didn't hear about her or the judge."

"The judge is being petty because I'm helping Ryan."

"I know that.  Now."  He grimaced.

"It's been petty social sniping, Horatio.  I expected worse because of what I used to do for a living."

"It's still not right or healthy.  How many people wonder if he's right?"

"No one.  The last time he asked me if I had AIDS I said 'no, my last test came out negative, had for three years running, how was yours and your concubine's' and he stomped off bright red because I said it just as loud as he had.  The hostess said I handled it well and politely since I went back to my idle chitchat afterward.  Can I abstain from going to any events for another few weeks?"

"I don't know why you go to all the ones you do now," he admitted.

"They're mostly charity things.  I had to present myself and then I can be more picky.  That's the advice I got on this stuff from one of the matrons.  When this stuff first started I called and asked her for advice, I had talked to her the night before and she seemed really nice and understood I was new, and had heard what I used to do for a living, and just smiled at it.  Said there were worse ways of joining polite society.  She's the one who told me what I needed to do to survive those events and how to smile politely even when I'm gagging on the stench of perfume.  She's also the one who said to take anything that comes for the first year and then cut back with a few well placed migraines.  Once everyone realized who I was.  That way I'd get the 'oh, I remember you's if I had to go to someone about something but I wouldn't be *well* known so my past wouldn't be pushed back as often onto your career and the chief."

"It's not necessary, Xander. The foundation is self-supporting."

"Yeah, but it may not always be and sometime in the future we may want to branch out to support candidates or laws that're being offered up."

"True," he admitted. "I'm very impressed with how you've done with the foundation so far.  You've taken this very seriously and I think it's been done very well so far."  Xander preened under that praise.  "Do you think you can use this illness to cut back some?"  Xander nodded at that.  "That's fine then.  How many more do you have this year?"

"Accepted?  Twenty-three."  Horatio groaned.  "It's the season.  It ends in late January, right before everyone heads to Mardi Gras or Carnivale.  There'd be a few charity things over the summer if we wanted to go.  Things like polo matches."  He shrugged.  "I like horses, I'm not sure if I like polo or not yet."

"We can go to a game.  It's more than watching it.  It's like tailgating at a football game only with rich people."

"Okay.  I got drug to one of those once."  He got a look and a slight grin.  "I did.  How's Madison?  I got told there was big news."

"There is.  She's home."  Xander squealed and bounced at that.  "You can't go see her until your sores have been *completely* gone for a week though.  Not drained but healed and gone."

"Understood.  I'll call and talk to her tomorrow, tell her that."  Horatio smiled at that.  "How's Ray?"

"Drunk, still.  He woke up for a while then went back to sleep.  What happened with the priest?"

"Accused me of doing satan's work all my life.  I walked away after pointing out if I was then there was something wrong with his god and who said I believed in him anyway. Later on I got asked if I wasn't Christian and I said I was still making that decision but I definitely wasn't of his faith.  It was the politer answer than 'I'm borderline wiccan' would've been."

"I think you've handled this incredibly well, even when you did drag Ray Jr. to every social event for support and someone to talk to."

"He met a nice girl until she dumped him for being a lowly helper."

"Girls in those circles can be that way," he agreed.  "Should I even ask about the tiger?"

"She thought I smelled good and she was in heat. Her mommy was hosting the dinner and she decided to join us.  She assured us she had been hand-raised and all that.  She came in and nuzzled me, so I asked permission before petting, the nice and smart thing.  I scratched her ears, she decided I was a kitten toy.  Which was why I needed the new tux.  Her mommy apologized profusely, saying she was in heat and playful, but I told her it was fine. I only had a few scratches on my legs and none of them were deep.  Some neosporin and they cleared up."

He cracked a smile at that.  "You do make a very good kitten toy, Xander.  I enjoy playing with you a lot."  Xander blushed and ducked his head.  "Anything else we should talk about before I go through that cabinet?"

"You might wanna stay out of the black folder.  Um, it might raise your blood pressure a lot."

"Isn't that your will?"

"Yup, and I just had to update it with a few things that hadn't gone away yet."

Horatio moaned.  "I'm expecting the family's all named."  He nodded. "Did you leave your uncle something for form's sake?"

"My collection of paperback fantasy books and my comic collection."  Horatio chuckled at that.  "Not like he deserves anything else.  So, I've got one in three days and you have that day off....."

"We'll see, Xander.  Is it a dinner?"  Xander nodded.  "Then perhaps I can go."  He smiled at that.  "Let me get dinner. You finish eating.  Need more?"  Xander shook his head.  "Are you sure?"

"This is thirds."

"Okay."  He went to get his own dinner, thankful that Xander had left him some. He found a plate piled high in the fridge and warmed it up, bringing it and some milk out to take his usual place, letting Xander rest against his arm while he ate. "Played video games all day today?"  Xander nodded, making him smile. "That will rot your brain."

"No it won't.  It hasn't Ryan's yet."  Horatio snickered at that.  Ray Jr. stumbled in and fell into a chair across from them.  "You sober now?"

"Shh," Ray demanded, putting his head down. "I'm sleeping it off."

"Tell me you took a cab," Horatio demanded.

"Mom."

"Even better."  He ate a bite and looked at his mate.  "I promise, I'll handle it while he's still drunk," he said quietly.  Xander nodded, giving him a squeeze around the arm.  "He'll be okay too."

"It's kinda funny," Xander offered dryly.  "To the older women of the circuit, I'm kinda like a pet boy. Their husbands can't complain or get jealous if I'm with them, but they can talk to a manly person about things like money and stuff, plus I can get cranky baby tips.  It was one of them who suggested the animal tape for the mooing son."

Ray raised his head to look at him.  "The one time we got taken hostage you proved you were more manly than most of the guys, who squealed and a few passed out."

"I did.  I still don't know why I don't go armed to those things." Horatio looked at him.  "Standard gun in the face robbery at a social event, Horatio.  They tied us up.  The women wanted me to do something, citing being married to you.  I pointed out I don't come armed to these things and could one of them please get the knife out of my pocket for me.  I got free, got the rest free, got them into a better room to seal themselves in, called dispatch, got them moving.  The robbers left at the sounds of the sirens, they chased after them.  It was another precinct so no one there knew me and I didn't get babied any.  I got told it was good work, but fairly dangerous."

"It probably was.  You didn't take them on?"

"One guy came into the room so I had to distract him.  Kissed him stupid to do it."  Horatio growled a that.  "Then I had a drink, I needed it, it was gross and nasty."  He kissed him.  "Much better."

"Only as a distraction, Xander," he warned.

"Of course.  Even if the that one hotty did tease me," he offered with a grin.  Horatio growled deeper.  "He's one woman's husband toy.  He flirted outrageously with everyone, even Ray, who had to point out twice he was straight."  The growl didn't ease.  "Sorry.  I didn't reciprocate."

"Good."  He pulled Xander into his lap, finishing his dinner that way.  "Ray, perhaps you should nap in the spare room?"  Ray nodded, going to do that.  Horatio looked at him.  "I'm going to the office after I finish.  Can you shower and clean your sores?"  He nodded, smiling.  "Good boy.  Should I worry about any other suddenly appearing presents?"

"I haven't needed anything but the groceries."

"Good."  He took a kiss.  "You taste like chocolate."

"I had some before dinner."  He grinned. "I deserved it."

"You did. You've been a good boy."  He took another kiss.  Then he went back to eating.  "Do you feel like doing more than cuddling tonight?"

"I'm still a bit queasy."   He snuggled into his arm.  "Can we got to the pound?  Just to look?"

"I'm still thinking, Xander. A dog is a bigger responsibility than a child."  Xander gave him a 'huh' look.  He smiled and stroked his cheek.  "Dogs die.  You'd have to be emotionally ready for that too."

"I can handle death, I just hate it."

"I know.  It shows in how you ambushed Speed this year."  Xander shrugged.  "Could you stand losing a dog if it got hit by a car or of old age?"

"Welll....."  He gave him a hesitant look. "I don't know. I didn't think about that part."

"We'll talk about it this weekend."  Xander nodded, cuddling in and letting him eat.  It was a good sign that he'd be getting gentle sex tonight.

***

Xander found the perfect gift for Marisol, smiling as he paid for it and brought it out to the car.  They were on their way to the anniversary party.  Xander was finally fully cleared up.  They had checked his last sore that morning, still no puss, so they were good.  He showed it to Horatio, who smiled.   "It's a good idea?"

"It is.  It'll help promote good health, which she's still worried about, and pamper her."  He put the hummer into gear and drove off, taking them all to Eric's parents' house.  They had stopped to get the baby but he was napping in the carseat.  "I think all his nighttime wandering has finally stopped."

"Apparently.  Willow told me I used to wander until third grade. I have no idea why or when though."  He glanced back, seeing the sleepy, discontent look.  "We're going to see Big Eric and his mommy.  Finish your nap."  Eric yawned and went back to sleep.   Xander grinned at his mate.  "I think we need to clean him up.  It looks like he had an accident."

"That happens.  That's why they're called accidents and we've got spare clothes in the diaper bag," he promised.  He found the right street and someone had saved a hummer- sized space in the yard.  They parked and Horatio went to get the baby cleaned up.  He had to swat Xander to do it, but it only got a smile.  "Take the present inside.  I'll put him in some pullups."  Xander nodded, grabbing the present bag.  The other one went into the glove box, it was for a holiday present.  He smiled at his son. "It's all right, Eric. It happens."

Xander walked up and knocked, getting a grinning manically Big Eric answering it.  "He'll be right in. We're changing the sleepy one.  He had an accident."

"You mean he's finally asleep?" he joked, letting him inside.  "H, bring him in, you can do that in the bathroom."

"I'm nearly done, Eric."   He came in a few minutes later but the baby stayed cuddled against his shoulder.  "He's having a sleepy day."

"They happen when you wander all night," Eric joked.  "Everyone's out back."  He looked at the present.  Then at Xander.  "Royal blue paper?"

"It goes pretty with the box."  He grinned and walked out back, putting his present on the table and kissing his adoptive parents on the cheek. "I'm better."

"That's good," Eric's mother agreed, giving him a hug too.  "All healed?"

"Yup, the last one dried up last night."  He grinned.  "Eric's napping too."

"That's fine.  It's a nice change to the dog not running in fear," Eric's father promised.  "Poor dog didn't get any sleep while he was here."

"We're thinking about getting one of our own," Xander admitted with a grin.

"Get one who doesn't need sleep, Xander.  Really," he offered, patting him on the shoulder.  "So, how's her girlfriend?"

"Taylor's very sweet.  She's a lot like a less geeky Willow in personality.  She's a beautiful brunette.  She loves Eric like I do.  We agreed, he's going to a preschool that emphasizes play and art, not math and science like his mommy wanted.  Took me threatening her with a horrifying death if she ever hurt him with a gentle smile and an 'I'd never do that, Xander'."

"Good!  Are they coming?"

"No, they're out on a boat," Xander admitted, grinning at them.  "Newlywed syndrome."  Both parents smiled at that.

"Some day my son will have that too," Eric's mother sighed, looking at her son.

"I've only had three dates with her, mom."

Xander grinned. "Can I help plan the wedding?"

"No," Eric said, shaking his head. "No, no way.  No how."  He walked off, going to talk to Calleigh and Speed.  "Xander's up and demented."

"I heard."  Speed looked at him, then yawned.  "Still sorry if I nap."

"Not a problem.  Why did she get up and clean at five this morning?"

"I think Ryan's OCD is affecting her.  Either that or we had an accident with the stimulant lube."

"Or you just had an accident," Marisol teased.

He shook his head. "Not possible.  I'm sterile."  She pouted.  "Sorry.  Doesn't change it any.  I have been for years."  Xander bounced over and crawled into his lap to cuddle him.  "Hi, son."

"Hi, daddy."  He gave him a squeeze.  "She's not."  He kissed him on the forehead.  "I'm going to let you have the honor of the sleepy baby."  He went to steal Eric and hand him over, giving Speed a good reason to nap.

Eric's father laughed at that.  "I used the kids as an excuse to nap many days, Xander," he assured him, grinning at Horatio.  "How are things downtown?"

"Good so far.  Quiet so far today.  Ryan made it in today."

"Not like I blame him for being clingy and bringing them to sit in your office," Eric reminded him with a grin.

"Nor do I. I did warn her to not touch my computer this time," he admitted dryly, making everyone snicker.  "Last time she did something it was faster but it ate my pictures."  Xander giggled at that.  "Yes, she found them for me when I complained, but still."

"I know.  I still can't believe we hit the 'order me' button twice on that one thing."

"What are you going to do with it?"

"I haven't decided yet.  It's a nice laptop."  Eric moaned. "It is."

"I saw your new one, it's sweet," Eric agreed. "Willow had an idea."

"What idea?" Horatio asked calmly.

"I'm not sure.  She said she had an idea and got *that* look on her face.  The one that makes her babble and go manic."

"Oooooh," Horatio shuddered.  He hated that look, it meant Xander was going to be getting into trouble within the hour usually.  If not sooner.

"Marisol!" Eric's mother yelled.  "Come help!"  She walked over, going to help her mother in the kitchen.  She looked at her daughter.  "Well?"

"The results are in your present."

"You're going to make me wait?"

"Yes."

She looked at her daughter.  "Which means it's a positive one?"  Marisol only smiled and got to work on the salad.  "I can't remember, will Xander not eat something?"

"Tofu."  Her mother laughed.  She opened the door.  "Xander, are you a picky eater?  Momma can't remember."

"No chicken and stars, please," Eric begged.

"No, Eric, real food only.  Xander?"

"I probably won't be eating any beans.  My stomach's still touchy.  So garlic's as spicy as I'm going today.  I can pick and choose.  Make whatever you want."  He shooed her off.  "Don't make special stuff for me.  I'm better now.  No more clucking spots."

"Mooo," his son said quietly.

Horatio looked at him.  "Go back to sleep, Eric."  He barked.  "You can only have something if you *ask*.  Like a normal boy."

"Boy talk to kitties and moos."

"What boy?" Xander asked, looking confused.

"Book," he said, blinking at him in a pitiful way.

"The boy in the book talked to kitties and cows?" Xander asked, looking at Horatio, who had read more than he had.

"Who read you the Jungle Book, Eric?" Big Eric asked, smiling at him.

"Unca Ry."  He shifted closer, making Speed curl on his side to keep him with him.  "Unca Ry say he talk to kitties but Auntie Cal say no kitties here."  He pouted at his fathers.  "No kitties here?"

"No, most people don't have kitties like that one," Horatio agreed.

"Huh?" Xander asked.

"Remember the movie with the boy and the bear?  The song 'bear necessities'?"  Xander beamed and nodded.  "Ryan read him that book.  Probably did all sorts of sound effects, all that stuff.  Which is why... there weren't any cows in there, Eric."

"Auntie Cal say no kitties but have cows, pigs, horsies.  Not oink. Not..." he made a horsie sound and shook his head.  "Not 'nough hair."  He grinned.  "Me moo!"

"Yes you do," Eric agreed, suddenly getting it.  "Now why won't you sleep?"

"Willow told Xander he used to wander at night too," Horatio told him.

"That explains a lot," Marisol offered as she came over. She picked up Eric, giving him a cuddle.  He looked at her and frowned, then wiggled down, pouting at her as he went back to his spot.  "Usually you like me to hold you," she pouted.

"Not comfy."  He scowled at her.  "Why?"

"Remember how we talked about baby sisters and brothers, like Toddy's getting?" Xander asked, sitting next to him, getting pulled into Speed's arms too.  He shrugged and cuddled in, holding his son.  "Remember, we told you Toddy was getting a new sister and some day you might have brothers or sisters for you to love and protect like you do the doggy?"  Eric beamed and nodded.  "She's going to give you a new brother or sister some day soon."

"Present?  Like box?"

"No, not in a box like a present," Eric admitted.  "Babies come from mommy's tummies."

"She a mommy?"

"I will be some day soon," she admitted, making her big brother beam at her.  "I still won't be a cow."

"Baby milk from mommies, boy milk from moos."

"That's right," Horatio agreed, smiling at him.  "Very good, Eric."  Eric's mother popped up with a camera, taking a few shots. "I want a copy," Horatio ordered.

"Of course, dear.  You're adorable!"  She pinched Xander's cheek, making Speed give her a dirty look.  "You snuggled him too, baby."  She went back to the kitchen to coo with her other children over it.

"We'll talk more about baby brothers and sisters when it's closer to coming, Eric," Horatio offered. "We have books about that."  Eric beamed at that, then he caught sight of the dog, getting down to play with it and the other kids.

"You came back?" one of Eric's older nieces asked.  "Why?  You're not family."

Eric glared at her.  "Horatio and Xander are my other family, they came because your grandparents asked them to.  Behave."  She nodded, trying to save the dog from the boy.  The dog growled at her and Eric put her behind him, growling back.  The dog stopped, looking oddly at him, then he bounded forward and licked him again, running off.  The baby chased after him, barking too.  Eric looked at Horatio.  "Make sure you get a dog who likes kids and to run."

"I want something I can run with," Xander agreed.

"Good luck," Eric said, patting him on the back.  He caught the baby as he ran past, giving him a hug.  "You don't have to howl," he said quietly.  The boy just beamed at him.  "I know, but try to let Grandpa Speed sleep, okay?"  He nodded so he put the baby back down, watching as he ran off more quietly.

"You'll be good when you finally have your own, son."  His father smirked at him.  "By then you'll have all the right answers and mannerisms."

"Dad, it's still only been three dates," he complained.

"Isn't that a record," Marisol teased.

"No," he snorted.  "I've had a few longer term relationships, thank you."

"And yet you still need help moving," Speed complained, sitting up and letting Xander go.  "Thanks, son.  Make a good teddy bear."

"Welcome, dad.  I came to cuddle Eric and you yanked me in."  Speed smirked at him.  His phone rang so he looked at it.  "Security company, Horatio."  Horatio took the phone and walked off, then gave him a look and nodded, getting one back.  "Sorry, our alarms went off," he excused.  "He had to run home and shoot someone."

Eric's father gave him a look.  "Are you sure he'll be all right?"

"Oh, yeah.  It was either Ray Jr. finally getting up, his father forgetting the alarm code when he came over to get him up, or my uncle the dirtbag trying to come back.  At which point, Ray Jr. would probably puke on him for waking him up."  Everyone stared at him.  "Yelina got broken into.  Ray had to...handle the situation since his mom was asleep and the guy was going to stab her."  That got some knowing looks.  "He was *really* drunk last night because of it.  His mom dropped him off when he was back at the passing out stage so we put him to bed."  He caught one of the running kids, spinning her around with a grin, then letting her run off in another direction, blocking the kid playing tag for a minute so she had a better chance.  Eric smirked at him. "Gotta give her a shot, Eric.  She's littler than everyone but Eric."

"She is."

"MOOOOOOO!" Eric squealed, pointing and bouncing up and down.  "MOO! DADDY!"

Xander walked over and looked. "Yup, you're right, that's a huge cow, son."  He picked him up so he could pet the cow's nose.  "Why are you wandering down the street, Bessie?"  She mooed at them, making the boy giggle and moo back.

Eric and the other parents helped the other kids so they could see and pet her.  "Should we capture her?" he asked Xander.

Xander looked at him. "How would I know?  I've only seen them on trips to farms, Eric."

Eric shrugged.  "I thought you might have an idea how."

"Yeah, because I watch so many westerns," he snorted.  "Sorry, I'm an action and comedy guy until Willow makes me watch sappy dress movies."  He looked at the cow again.  Then at the parents. "Anyone know anything about cows?"

"Call New York," Marisol offered.  "Isn't one of them from the country?"

"Good idea."  He handed her Eric and moved back to call Danny.  "What do I do with a cow that just wandered up to the Delko's backyard?"

***

Danny looked at his phone then put it back to his ear.  "How would I know?"  He groaned and looked around.  "Montana!  Phone call!" he yelled.  She came walking in.  "Xander needs a country reference."

"Why?"

"A cow just wandered up to them in Miami."

"How?"

"Like I know anything about cows!" he said dryly, handing her the phone. "Here, you talk to him."

She put the phone up to her ear.  "What is a cow doing in downtown Miami?"  He said he wasn't sure and described it. "That's a meat cow not a milk cow but okay.  Um, does it have a rope around its neck?"  He checked and then said no.  "Then do that and lead her gently to some grass she can nibble on while you call animal control.  Someone's got to have reported her missing.  They're usually docile as long as you don't spook them.   No, the kids are probably fine to pet her, Xander."  She shook her head again, hearing the dual moos and the giggles in the background.  "Was that her?  Oh, her and your son."  Danny moaned at that.  "Sure, not a problem.  Watch out for the feet, they will step on you and sometimes do kick.  Just gently, like a leash and collar on a dog, Xander."  She hung up and handed the phone back.   "Do you get calls like that all the time?"

"No, not usually like that one.  Other questions, the occasional cooking question, but not questions about cows."

She walked off shaking her head, still limping.  Stella stopped to look at her.  "Xander's son had a cow wander up to him in downtown Miami."

"What's a cow doing in Miami?"

"I don't know, but he called Danny to see what to do about it."  She heard the phone ring and turned back around before she could be bellowed at.

"He wants to know if the drool indicates rabies?"

"No, they drool and drip snot."

"No, Xander, that's normal. They're like that.  Paper towels?" he suggested.  "Sure, you stand there and ask it to blow its nose."  He hung up, shaking his head.

Stella walked off giggling, going to tell Mac and Sheldon.  "Xander, cow," she got out.

"Huh?" Sheldon asked. "Xander owns a cow?"

Lindsey walked in shaking her head.  "One wandered up to where he and his son are.  He called Danny to figure out what to do with it."

"Why would he call Danny?" Mac asked.

"He probably didn't have my cell number," she noted dryly.  Danny walked in and handed her the phone. "Monroe."  She listened, then groaned.  "No, that's fine, Xander.  Any grass is fine.  Doesn't have to be hay.  They live outside part of the day usually."  She listened to the next one.  "You can try, she might walk away though.  I don't know many people who try to ride cows.....  Oh, at the rodeo.  No, she probably won't buck."  Sheldon gave her the most confused look.  "No, mostly watch out for the feet, Xander.  Just gently.  Be prepared to catch him if he slides off.  Yeah, that's fine."  She hung up and put the phone next to her.  "Now I know why you guys come back from Miami looking so tired."

"It's not usually his fault," Stella assured her.  "It's usually all fun we've had.  Don!"  He walked in, looking attentive.  "Xander just had a cow walk up to him."

"How was a cow in downtown Miami?"

"We're not sure."  The phone rang and she answered it. "Monroe.  No, this is his phone, he left it on the desk.  Hold on."  She found the hold button and paged Danny. "It's your sister?"  He came jogging back and took the phone from her, going back to his job.  She looked at Don.  "He called asking what to do with the cow and about the snot, and just now about if it was safe to ride or if it'd buck."

"Don't they all?  Like they show in the rodeo?"

"No," she said, shaking her head.  "No, those are bulls, not cows, and no."

"Oh, okay."  He shrugged.  "I hope someone's getting pictures."  He went to find Danny and get his results.

Mac smirked at Sheldon.  "Next crossover case....."

"Oh, no.  I don't need to know more about cows.  I'm good with my lack of cow knowledge.  Really."  Lindsey gave him a look.  "Not like I'll need it, hopefully ever."  He walked out, going to hide from the discussion of cows and Xander. That was nearly as bad as Xander and teasing or Xander and shopping.  Then again, most discussions about Xander seemed to make him run for some reason.  He wasn't quite sure why....  Maybe he wasn't as secure in not wanting Xander as he thought he had been.   No, he was certain he didn't want him and he wasn't scared of him.  So he guessed it was just confusion.  He ran into Don. "Do you get confused by Xander?"

"All the time.  Just take it as it comes, enjoy the good parts, and get drunk about the rest.  Then pray Eric's more like his momma and Horatio."

"Okay."  He went to find his other open case so he could work on that and not get involved in anything cow-related.

***

Xander walked into the house, finding the mess.  "Wow.  Who?"

"Your uncle."

"Huh.  Dead?  Arrested?  Or simply on the run before I kick his ass?"

"Arrested. He was looking for money or jewels."  He pointed at the ruined chair.  "I don't know why he chose that one."

"You said you were thinking about replacing it anyway," Xander reminded him, giving him a kiss.  "We dropped the son off.  Eric's being a horrible big brother now." Horatio smirked at that.  "She is."  That got a brighter smile.  "We had a cow."

"A cow?  Is that some new slang?"

"No, one wandered up to the fence."  Horatio looked confused. "Really.  One wandered up to the fence.  Eric had a lot of fun talking with her and trying to ride her.  Fortunately she was gentled already and didn't buck."

"Why would he want to ride the cow?"

"Taylor showed him a rodeo.  He asked."  He shrugged.  "Monroe said it should be okay."

Horatio kissed him, stopping any and all confusion-making thoughts. It was simpler that way.  Xander moaned and leaned against his chest.

"Let me hide again," Ray said, heading outside at a dead run.

Xander grinned at him when he pulled back.  "Bed?"

"Bed's nice," he agreed, taking him that way. "Did they like the picture frame?"

"They did, his mother cooed over it."  The silver collage frame with the ornate script 'D' in the center had been a big hit.  It had enough room for a picture of each family.  They closed their bedroom door.

Ray Sr. came out of the office.  "They do that way too much in front of others."  He went to join his son outside so they could talk.  His son glared at him.  "I knew the hangover would be bad, son, but it was necessary.  At least you slept last night."

"I did.  Thankfully."

"You're welcome."

Ray Jr. looked at him.  "I still don't like you."

"I know.  You can't pick your family though.  Look at Xander's uncle."

"True, and if I see him again, I'm going to kick his ass."  He sipped his soda, then nibbled on some of the crackers he had found in the cabinets.  He now knew why Xander liked these when he was nauseous.  "Did I hear something about a cow?"

"I wasn't listening."

Ray pulled out his phone and called Eric.  "A cow?  I was in the kitchen and didn't hear."  Eric sent him a picture.  He looked then put it back against his ear.  "Why did your parents rent a cow for their anniversary? Is it their favorite animal?"  He told him the story and Ray burst out in giggles.  "So he calls *Danny*?"  He giggled more.  "Sure, that's cute!  Mom'll want pictures too.  Thanks, Eric."  He hung up and showed his father the picture.  "One wandered up to their fence."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure, neither are they.  Animal control came after a few hours to get it."  He took his phone back and put it into his pocket. He stood up.  "I'm heading to the mall.  Give me a ride home?"

"Fine."  He stood up, walking out with him, tapping in the code before they left the house. "Why are you going to the mall?  Hot date?"

"Need a few new t-shirts. All mine are stained."  He grimaced.  "Chemistry is bad and evil."  His father nodded.  "Speed and them make it seem really easy.  Now I know why Xander got a 'D' in it."

"He did?"

"Yeah, he did."  He got into the passenger's side, buckling up.  He looked at the front of the car, then got out and whistled at the person who was staring at the garage door with the can of spray paint.  "Yo, stupid person?  There's a cop living there and you're interrupting him having sex.  Think you might not do that?"  The kid glared at him.  "Don't try it, kid.  Um, Xander, tagger!" he yelled.

Xander came to the door naked, glaring at the kid.  "I'm going to snap your scrawny ass chicken neck for interrupting my sex life."  The kid squeaked and ran off.  "Good!  Go home! You're too young anyway!"  He slammed the door and went back to it. "I'll tell his parents later."

"Who was it?" Horatio asked tolerantly.

"The Phipp's second kid."  Someone knocked on the door so he growled and went to answer it. "What?"  The mother glared at him. "Your son just tried to tag our garage.  You've both now interrupted my sex life.  Do you mind!"  She backed off, covering her son's eyes when she realized he was naked.  "Thank you!  We'll talk when I'm not in the middle of something."

"You threatened him!"

"Earlier we had a break in.  We're a police family. I heard our nephew warn him."  She blanched and glared at her son.  "So, shoo!  Come over later, when we're all more rational and calm."  She nodded, leading her son off.  He closed the door more quietly, then stomped back in there, seeing the laughter.  Xander went down on him and that stopped that, making Horatio grab on and go with it.

***

Xander looked up as the door opened, reaching for his gun immediately but the man walking in already had one.  "There's others in the house," he said coldly.  "Let me get my son out of the way.  He's a toddler."

"No.  He can stay.   You can sign over custody."

"I don't have custody. I have visitation. His mother has custody."

"I've already dealt with her," he sneered.  "Now."

"No. Sorry. Even if you kill me, his lineage is already protected."  His uncle looked confused.  "The line of parents.  He's got lots of uncles ready to take him in."  He heard the screen door open.  "Go," he ordered coldly. "Now."  Ray ran, and he knew he was calling his uncle.  Rory looked like he wanted to go but decided not to.  Which was a nice thing.  "Whatever you want, I can't give you."

"You can!" he shouted.  "I know you can!  You live here!"

"My husband had this house before we married. The only thing I've done is change the bed and a couch."  He shrugged.  "Buy some clothes."  His uncle cocked the gun.  "Are you prepared to die to use that?" he asked quietly.  "Because you will.  Every member of the PD will be on your ass."

"I doubt they like you that much," he sneered.  "After all, you tainted one of theirs."

"I've also saved some of theirs."  He stared him down.  "Get out of my house."

"Isn't it his house?" he sneered.  "You said it was his."

"It is, doesn't mean I don't live here, moron.  That makes it my house by right of habitation.  Also by right of cleaning."  He heard his son start to fuss.  "At least let me put him on the porch."  His uncle shook his head. "You go near my son and will not survive as a whole soul to the afterlife."

"What? You gonna try that freak stuff on me? Like your girl did?"  He sneered.  "Got her too."

"Somehow I doubt that.  Considering her husband is the original overprotective spouse, I seriously doubt that."

"Her boy's a screamer," he offered, smirking at him. "Pity."

Xander looked in his eyes, then shook his head.  "No he's not.  He's also at the station today with his father.  The same as his mother is. I know damn well you didn't get her there."  He crossed his arms.  "Just leave, Rory.  I can't give you what you want."

"You can!  I know you can!  That's why I came!  We're family!  You've got to take care of family!"

"I do, I take care of my family very well.  I take very good care of my son," he agreed calmly.  "Which is more than I can say for you and your three.  I see and play with mine every chance I get."  He heard his son start to babble and winced.  "Just outside, that's all I want to move him."

"No. He stays.  Don't worry, I'll take *good* care of him."  He smirked and Xander lunged, knocking him onto his ass.  "That was a mistake."  He got back up.

"Really?   It felt really good to me."  He had used it to give time for Ray to sneak up the stairs.  He knew where the gun up there was.

"You fucking fag."

"Yay.  I'm so much happier now that I'm taking it up the ass.  Anything else you need to confirm?"

"Miami-Dade PD!" someone shouted, busting in the door.  Xander relaxed.  "Mr. Harris?"

"I'm fine and someone just snuck up to get my son out."

"Good. Thank you, sir."  He stood up and pointed his gun at Xander. "I can fix that too."

"I sincerely doubt that," Frank said from behind him, cocking his gun.  "Put it down.  Both of you."  He pushed the button on his phone.  "Two people with guns, one officer, holding adult male hostage.  Civilian protecting a toddler.  SWAT to Lieutenant Caine's house."  He let it go.

"Rodger.  On the way."

"Put it down," Frank ordered. "You don't wanna do this."  He looked at Xander. "You good?"  He got a nod.  "Who's up there?"

"Jr."

"Okay.  Guns?"

"Yeah, I can't get to them."

"That's fine, let us handle it," he ordered. "Put it down.  Don't be that stupid!"  He heard the sirens.  He heard the squeal of brakes and then people were rushing toward them.  He glanced and the officer moved, swinging his gun around.  Frank moved.  The other officers were in the line of fire and shot back.

Xander dove out of the way, getting one of the ones under the couch and coming up on the other side of the couch with it.  "Put it down, Uncle Rory.  Now!"

"No!  I go, you go," he sneered.

"How drunk are you?" he complained. "You're surrounded by officers and me.  You're not making it out of here alive if you don't."

"Good, another body on your hands.  I've heard about your hobby," he vowed. "I've told others."

"None of that was true, Uncle Rory.  Really."

"Then what happened to your *boy*?"

"Jessie and I weren't like that.  Really.  Put it down!"  The cops came in.  "Please make him put it down."

"Xander, step back," Frank ordered.  Xander stepped back, giving up his spot.  Frank pulled him outside.  "Can you get up there another way?"

"Up the outside of the house?" he said, looking up.  Then at the small roof covering the porch.  "Give me a boost."  Frank did that and he went up, walking up it to tap on the window.  Ray opened it and handed him the baby and the diaper bag.  "Good job.  Come on."  They came out together and he let Frank have his son, then help Ray down.  Xander slid down a pole and they left around the side of the house.  Frank put them both in his car, huddled together around the baby.  They flinched when they heard gunshots.

"Shh," Ray soothed, patting them both.  He saw the hummer pull in and waved.  Then he saw the body coming out.  "Shit."

"Freeze!" Speed yell, pulling his gun.  "I will shoot you, Rory. You know me better than that!"  He froze, then cackled.  He pointed his gun at the car.  Speed shot.  Rory fell.  "He's down!"  He ran for the house, finding most of them in pain.  "What the hell?"  He turned and found Rory changing.  "Shit.  Xander!"

Xander got out of the car, heading inside at a run.  He came out with a sword and stabbed him in the stomach, killing him for real.   "Always knew you were a demon," he sneered, watching him die.  He looked at him.  "I'm going to be sick now."  He walked around the side of the house, going to get ill.  The neighbor came out to check on him.  He waved her off. "Inside," he groaned, holding his stomach.  "My uncle just tried to kill me."

"I saw you stab him."

"He was dead."  He looked at her.  "He deserved it."  She nodded, going back into her house.  Xander threw up again, falling to his knees as he retched.

Speed came around the house to help him, getting him calmed down.  "You had to," he whispered.  Xander nodded, going again.  "Calm it down, Xander.  Just calm it down.  It's natural."  He soothed him, stroking his back.  Xander finished and panted, leaning against his legs.  "Shh, I've got you."

"I want to hide, dad."

"I know.  That's your first instinct."  He looked back as other cars appeared, and an ambulance.  "I don't know what he did to them. They're all stunned."  Xander got up and Speed led him back so he could lean on the car, watching them.  Horatio finally got there, running for them.  "Rory."  He pointed.  "Xander used the sword when he got up again."

"Was he turned?"

"Demonic somehow," Xander whispered, clinging to him.  "I'm sorry."

"Shh, you did what you had to do."

He pulled back.  "He said he got Di.  He said he had Willow and Toddy but I doubted it."  Horatio pulled him close again. "Check?"

"Of course."  He called over there, getting a giggling person.  "Ryan, call Di, make sure she's fine.  No, his uncle showed up.  He ended up stabbing him post mortem."  He hung up.  "He was giggling, I'm sure she and the baby are fine."  He soothed his mate, looking at Speed. "The guys inside?"

"Stunned.  The paramedics ran that way."  He went to check.  "They good?"

"Mostly just in shock it looks like.  I don't know why."

"Take 'em, have them checked over for injuries."

"There was a gunshot," Frank said, coming out of the bedroom.  He handed Speed something.  "For the boy.  He's gonna need it."  Speed nodded, going to hand Xander the new clothes so he could change.  "I was with them and outside when the shot happened.  He was still moving so I don't think it was the suspect."  They nodded, looking at them.

Xander walked in and groaned, then headed into the bedroom, putting on the bracelet Ethan had made him.  It ended the spell and he looked at Frank.  "An ooops."

"For a good reason," he agreed, taking him back outside.  "Here, Horatio.  Keep him for now."

"I had a slip," Xander whispered against his chest.

"I figured it was a new alarm," Horatio admitted.  Xander shook his head, snuggling in.  "Is he gone?"  Xander nodded.  "Will he stay gone if we move the sword?"  He shook his head.  "What kills him?"

"Fire."  He looked at the sword.  He had picked his favorite.  "I'll hate to lose him.  He was my first one."

Ryan pulled up and Willow got out, shrieking and coming over to stab the body again.  "Bastard!"  Ryan pulled her back, leaving that sword there.  He looked at Xander and shrugged.

"Guys, want a stake to shove up his ass so you can put him on the lawn?" Frank asked.

"Wouldn't hurt him enough," Xander admitted.  "Di?"

"She's fine," Ryan assured him.  "They got a phone threat and shut down the offices.  Officers already responded there."  He looked at the body, then at Alexx when she pulled up.  "The other officers?"

"They're mostly fine, just stunned for a few minutes."

"Makes sense," Willow muttered, coming over to hug him.  "Are you all right?"  Xander shook his head.  "Shh, we've got you," she soothed, hugging his back.  "I'm here, Horatio's here.  The baby's in the car with Junior."  He nodded.  "Good job. You survived."  He relaxed and nodded again.  "Now, let Horatio and you check the baby over."

"He never got near him."  He looked at Horatio.  "He wanted custody of Eric after I died."

"I saw who you named," he assured him.  He kissed him gently on the forehead.  "It'll be all right." He looked toward the house as Frank came back out. "They clear?"

"Yeah, they're clear.  The officer pulled in and parked as I made the turn.  Xander was reporting to him as I headed over.  I heard him.  The officer said 'good, thank you sir, and I can fix that' and joined in."  He looked that way as the paramedics came out, then at Horatio.  "You're not safe."

"I know we're not safe," he agreed. He looked at Xander, then at Frank.  Then at Ryan.  "Are you two back home?"  He shook his head.  "Was it released?"

"Not yet, we can go to a hotel tonight, Horatio," Ryan promised.  "The Feds have it."

"I can borrow the keys to another house in the same development," Xander offered. "One's still free and I know the developer.  I helped him decorate it since he liked ours."  That got a smile from Willow.  He shrugged.  "It helps."  He looked at Horatio.  "Can we stay there tonight?"

"We can," he agreed calmly.  The head of the rapid response unit came over.  "How bad?"

"Two shot officers, one's the bad guy though.  Your boy okay?"  Xander nodded, looking at him.  "Any idea who this one is?"

"My Uncle."

"The money?"  Xander nodded.  "Family money?"  Xander shook his head quickly, putting it back down.  "He wanted it?"  Xander nodded more quickly.  "Okay.  What's with the swords?"

"He was a bastard and deserved to be cut into small chunks.  He threatened the mother of his child too."

"He broke in here a few days back," Horatio admitted.  "Alexx, leave that for now.  Let them leave first."  She nodded, just examining around the swords for now.  He looked at him.  "Thank you."

"Not a problem.  I'm wondering what the officer's problem was."

"Not a clue," Xander admitted.  "I've never seen him before.  Is he an officer?"  He looked at Frank, then at the other two, who looked confused.  "His radio's on the wrong shoulder.  He's got a tassley thing on his shoulder."

Horatio went to look, coming back. "He's right, that's not right for our uniforms.  Ryan?"  He came to check since he had been in a patrol uniform more recently, then shook his head.  "Not right?"

"No.  Not right.  He's wearing parade cord."  He stood up, looking him over.  "Permission to search the body," he asked the head of the unit.  He got a nod.  He patted him down, finding his wallet.  "Not our ID either."  He handed it over.  "Wallet, driver's licence.  Six grand in the cash.  Definitely not one of us."  He handed it to Frank, who had a bag open.

"Let me call this in, Horatio."  He glanced at Frank.  "Nice job ducking."  He looked around then back at them. "What's with the freezing thing?"

"Some people can do things like the wiccans claim," Ryan said quietly.  "Some of them also can panic.  It was probably to keep anyone from dying but it was an emotional response.  My wife used to be able to and she gave it up.  I'm not sure who slipped."

"Okay.  I thought the demon on the lawn was a bit odd."  He looked at Horatio.  "Your mate?"

"It's possible. He's got a touch of it.  It's possible it was me.  I have no idea."

"Fine.  We'll put it down as shock."  He walked off, looking at the swords, then at Xander, then nodded at it.  He got a nod back. He chose the thinner one and grinned at Alexx.  "Let me help, ma'am."  She smiled and he broke the sword off.  "Oops.  Sorry."

"That's okay, I can remove that at the office, Captain.  Thank you for the help."  She tried to pull the other one.  He tried.  Xander came over and pulled it out.  "I need you to do my training, Xander."  He gave her a shy grin and laid the sword on the grass.  "Thank you, baby.  Go cuddle the baby."  Xander nodded, going to cuddle Ray Jr. and the baby.  "They're a really tight family."

"I can tell."  He looked at Horatio.  "This makes how many?"

"He's got a bolthole we'll be moving to shortly," he promised.  "It's in a gated community."  That got a smirk.  "Well defended as well."

Alexx nodded at that. "Xander collects weapons and they're all there."  That got a smirk.  "Scared the hell out of some of us when his son got taken and he broke out ammo and vests for everyone, plus a spare gun."  The Captain laughed at that.  "Exactly."  She looked at the body.  "Looks like Speed's shots were right on.  Let me bag him and have him removed."  She stood up and came over to look at Xander.  "Are you all right?"  He nodded, mouthing something.  She nodded, patting his cheek.  "We'll deal with that stuff later."

"His name was Rory Harris."

"Sure, sugar."  She went to do that, getting her crew there to take the bodies off.

Phil pulled up, looking around. "What the hell?" he asked, coming over.  "Harris?"

"My uncle and some guy."

Speed raised a hand.  "I got his uncle. The some guy was one of their guys," he said, pointing at the captain.

"Okay.  Why?  Walk me through it," he ordered, taking them back to the house.  "Head to the station with them, Horatio.  That way his statement can be taken by someone."

"I've got it," Frank called. "I responded first."  He looked at him.  "Good idea.  Everyone back to the station."  Horatio nodded, letting Xander go so he could cuddle the babies and Ray in Frank's car. "I've got 'em but we should have the baby seat," he said, frowning.  Horatio handed his over. "Thanks."  He handed it back to the boys.  "I'm sure you two know how to do those."  Eric grinned at him. "Hi to you too, baby Xander."  He got in, watching as they buckled it in then the baby, then he took off, taking them back to the station, Wolfe and his wife right behind him.  "God, today was a mess."

"I'm sorry I slipped, Frank."

"He had a clue.  You tell her how it dies?"  Xander nodded. "Good.  That really him?"

"He used to be human but that's a type you can be turned into.  If she finds a lot of black ink on his back, he was turned."

"Sure, I'll let her know that when I go down to check. You two okay?"

"I'm fine," Xander agreed.  "I puked long and hard."

"Damn this has been a week," Ray sighed.  Xander nodded, hugging him.  "It's all right.  I know where your gun upstairs is."  He patted him on the head, getting help from the baby they were hugging over.  "Thanks to you too, Eric.  You should tell Uncle Frank about the cow."

"I heard about the cow.  Eric's momma took plenty of pictures of Xander staring in wonder at the cow and the baby Xander trying to ride the cow."

"Mooooooo!"

"Yeah, I heard about that too."  Eric giggled.  "So, you've got another house out there?"

"Yup."

"That where the arsenal is?"

"Underneath."

"The house?"

"The one inbetween them," Ray told him.  "Tunnel and hurricane shelter."

"Goodie.  Will you not show me the illegal stuff?"

"Then you don't want to go down there," Xander admitted. "The guy at Tentacles that collects weapons gives me some in payment for translating books into demon."

"I thought it was nice you refused the rocket launcher the other day," Ray offered.  Xander grinned at him. "Or did you?"

"I did."

"Let me guess, you have one of those?" Frank asked dryly.

"No, but I don't need a SCUD launcher.  I have nowhere to put it, Frank."  Frank groaned. "Remember, you don't want to know those things."

"Not until I retire, okay?"

"Sure."

"Thanks, kids."  He pulled onto the street that held the station, staring at the fire trucks.  "If that's at the station, Horatio's going to throw a fit."

Ray looked.  "House just up from it, Frank."

"Good."  He pulled around them, lights on in case anyone said anything, and then into the parking lot, turning everything off.  He looked back at the boys.  "Let's go to the office and we'll do it there."  Xander nodded, taking his son while Ray covered him.  Frank walked behind them, nodding at the guards.  "His uncle tried to shoot him," he said quietly. "Anyone comes looking, we're in Caine's office."  That got a nod.  He took the boys up there, weathering them being pounced by Eric and Calleigh. "You two babble like twins!"  He took Toddy and walked off with him, letting Ray have him.  "Here, have a teddyhuman."

Ray grinned.  "Thanks, Uncle Frank.  I don't have to have my own for many years."

"Good.  Your mother's fit would wreck the building if you did."  He took them into the office. "Sit."  He pulled out some paper and a pen, settling behind the desk. "Okay, from the top, Xander."

***

Speed walked into the morgue, looking at the body, then at Alexx.  "He wants to be cremated."

"Good. That's a nice thing."  She looked at him.  "Prison ink," she said, pointing it out.  He nodded, getting that.  "They still okay?"

"Fairly so.  Tired, Xander's napping on the office couch.  Ray's in the break room with the kids at the moment.  His mom doesn't know he's back here yet.  No one wanted to upset her."

"Probably a good idea. Horatio back yet?"

"Yup.  Their house is closed off but he was allowed to gather some things, like the spare laptop and things.  It was registered a good shooting."  She hugged him. "I know."  He grinned.  "Anything I wouldn't normally expect?"

"No, not a thing.  The other one, I got his ID from fingerprints."  She handed it over.  "That's who he is."  He looked then at her.  She nodded.  He rolled his eyes and went to hand that to Horatio, who groaned and faxed it to New York with a note since he had been theirs.

***

Mac looked up as his office fax started to spit out something, getting up to look at it.  "Uh- huh."  He looked it over, nodding at the note that came with it.  "Interesting."  He sat down and called IAB.  "Hillborne.  Got a fax from Miami.  One of ours was down there involved in an attempted kidnaping and got shot.  Yeah, Caine's lab has it.  He faxed it to me.  No, the idiot went after his husband actually."  He leaned back, going over the note.  "Yup.  Shot by the responding officers.  I can do that.  How do you want to do the body?"  He nodded.  "I can have ours call her to get it transferred up so you have time to call them."  He hung up and called Horatio.  "Our IAB wants the case file, just in case he was dirty in other areas.  Thank you.  Xander all right?"  He got the quiet report and smiled.  "Napping on your couch?  That's fine.  You going to be home tonight?  Probably safer.  Sure."

He hung up and called his morgue.  "Call Miami's morgue, get Alexx to send you the body of our officer.  IAB needs time to get his jacket and do a background on him before we say if he should be buried with honors or not.  No, he was shot participating in a kidnaping.  Thanks, Sid."  He hung up.  Then he went to find the others.  "Guys, Xander's going to be coming up for a few day's leave.  His uncle just tried to kill him so he could have his money through his son.  We had an officer from up here involved so he'll have the case file with him.  Probably the son as well if Di doesn't panic."  Danny gave him a long look.  "What?"

"That a good idea right now?"

"Yes. It is.  He needs out of Miami.  He'll probably try to lay low, but this is Xander we're talking about," he reminded them.  "So let's be on the lookout for threats."

"He said that the hellmouth would be coming for him," Stella offered quietly.  Mac shrugged.

"What's a hellmouth?" Lindsey asked.

"His former town," Danny told her.  "You wanna give Don escort duty?  Maybe this time he won't be shot at on the way in."

"Sure."  He smirked and went to tell him that.  Their present case would be gotten through faster.  Hopefully without having the boy get in the middle of it.

***

Don smirked as Xander came off the plane with a folder tucked between his handcuffed wrists.  "What did you do?" he asked, undoing them.  Xander presented the folder with a grimace.  "Xander?" he asked with a tolerant smirk.

"Horatio caught me polishing the swords at two this morning and it had been a long day.  I couldn't sleep. He decided I'd get into trouble so you should probably have a spare set."

"Uh-huh.  Should I call and see who dropped you off?"

"Eric."

"I'm assuming the bigger one."  Xander nodded.  "No son?"

"No, Di and Taylor are being cutesy moms at the moment and Taylor is encouraging her to do a baby's line of real clothes."  Don snickered at that.  "She's a nice lady so I don't mind.  I'm under orders to lounge, go to the spa, and head home in a week.  I'm not to get into any trouble or to bug you guys."

"That's okay, we've already had the security briefing."  He put an arm around his shoulders and walked him off.  "So, anything surprising coming for the holiday presents?"

"Yup.  I think you'll like yours but I might have to explain."

"Okay," he agreed, still smiling.  Xander usually had reasons or thoughts behind those gifts. "Anyone else's?"

"Nope.  Oh, but Di's giving you clothes."

"I kinda figured she would."  He gave him a squeeze around the neck.  "Bag?"

"Hopefully it didn't get eaten."  They walked to the baggage claim area.  "I was watching the bags be loaded and didn't see mine."

"So it's in Outer Mongolia?"

Xander looked at him.  "The plane next to us was Air Japan.  It's possible."  Don burst out in giggles, sitting down and shaking his head. "I'm serious!"  He looked at the boards to find his baggage claim, finding it at the other end.  He walked down there, this was not starting out a fun vacation.  Eric thought he'd get into bad trouble.  Speed had warned him not to get into trouble.  Horatio had warned Mac to keep an eye on him apparently.   Their bags started to come around and he watched, staring in horror.  Well, there was his jacket.  He picked it up and walked over to the window.  "I believe this is mine. If not, someone else goes to my favorite designer.  Where's the bag with it?"

"It split, sir."

"Hey, my jacket," a woman yelled.

Xander looked at it, then her.  "You go to Diana's?"  She nodded.  He grinned.  She blushed.  "Let's see, you try it on.  I had mine in my bag too."  He handed it over. And it fit her.  "Damn it."  The claims guy chuckled.  "I haven't seen mine yet. Are they all out?"  He nodded.  Xander went muttering back to the rack, watching it come around again.  Then he looked at Don, sighing a bit.  He patted himself down. He had his wallet.  That had his cards and his ID.  He'd be fine without anything else.  But they would be finding it for him or he'd kill someone.  He headed for the ticket lines, going to complain.  "You lost my bag."

"Flight?"

He handed over his tickets, getting an odd look.  "I asked, they're all out."

"I'm sorry about that, sir.  They said some got transferred onto another flight up here.  Did your bag have identification?"  Xander nodded.  "Let me see if we can find it."

"You might wanna do that, yeah, I'm already not having a good day."  She nodded, ducking away to call someone.  He looked at the guard who came over, shrugging. "I haven't threatened her yet."

"You were wearing handcuffs on the plane?"

"I'm married to a cop.  He thought I'd get into trouble.  It's almost an in-joke between myself and my uncle Don."  He pulled out his phone and turned it on, calling him.  "Can you please come to the ticket line, Uncle Don?  Thank you.  No, someone noticed the handcuffs so you get to yell at Eric."  He hung up.  "He'll be right here."  He looked at the ticket agent, who shrugged. "Nowhere?"

"Not yet, sir.  We're checking the tag numbers with the airport down there."  Xander sighed and leaned on the counter.  "Behind the yellow line please, sir."  He straightened up and backed up.  "Thank you."  She smiled at Don.  "I'm currently with someone, but the line starts behind you."

"I'm picking him up."

"Oh, all right then."  She pointed at the guard.  "He had a question about the handcuffs."

Don looked at him.  "His husband's a cop, Xander gets into trouble.  They thought I might need extra," he said, pulling his badge.

"As long as it's fine. You might want to tell them that's dangerous."

"Oh, I'll be yelling," he promised with a bright grin.  The guard walked off. He looked at her.  "Bag?" he asked patiently.  Or at least he sounded patient to his own ears.

"Um, we think it's on the plane to Taiwan."

"Was that the Air Japan flight next to my plane?" Xander asked.  "Or one across the airport?"

"No, the one next to yours.  It was an easy mistake to make, sir.  I can get it back for you."

"Just send it back to Miami, call the number on the tag.  Someone will pick it up for me.  It'll probably be back there the same time I am."  He looked at Don.  "So I guess I'm shopping."

"Sure.  You wanna make sure the hotel didn't forget you?"

"Please.  It's like Cordy put a curse on me," he complained, walking out with him.  "Can we both yell at Eric?"

"No.  Won't help any.  I've already yelled at Eric once. I'll do it later too."  He put an arm back around his shoulders.  "Come on, kiddo.  If they forgot you, you can have my spare bedroom."  Xander nodded, resting against his side. "I know, it sucks."

"Yeah, it does."  They headed out to the car.  The hotel had his reservation but was trying to bump him up to a bigger suite for more money.  Don told her to stuff it and took Xander home with him.  He gave Xander the keys.  "Go on up.  I've got to put some oil in the car."

"Sure."  He headed up there, letting himself in.  He found an older man standing in there.  "Who're you?  Last time I knew, Don was straight and liked 'em younger."

"The better question should be, who are you?"

"His nephew.  You are?" he asked more firmly, hands on his hips.  "Before I turn on the alarm and input an emergency code?"  The man looked stunned.  "Now," he prompted.

"I'm his father."

"Ah, you're the person who's not satisfied with him being a good enough Junior.  Well, Uncle Donny, let me clue you in," he said bitterly, moving closer.  "Don is a *great* fucking cop who deserves less shit in his life from his family, not more.  He gets enough of that on the job and from his ex.  He gets plenty of hell dealing with my issues now and then too.  He doesn't need you to add to it!"

"Whoa," Don said as he walked in.  "Xander, way over the line," he said calmly.  "Appreciated, but way over the line."

"Son..."

"Dad, this is Xander.  You know, the one your sister married us into the family of?"  His father snorted. "Dad, don't start."

"So, this is the little fairy...."  Xander grabbed him by the arm and flipped him then flipped him over and knelt on his back in perfect precision.  Don Sr. coughed and wheezed.  "You're good, kid."

"Of course I am.  I've got a combat history that rivals Taylor's.  Now, climb off your son's ass.  Only he gets to say who goes up it, and as I said earlier, he's straight. You don't like me being gay? Yay.  Suck it the fuck up.  Not like I associate with people like you anyway.  Now, you can play nicely since I'm getting a headache from the shitty day I've had, and I might let you up without further pain or injury, or you can apologize and I'll definitely let you up."

"Sorry, kid."

Xander got off him, looking at Don.  "Sorry, get enough of that at home from the society bitch."  He headed back to the guest room and went to lay down.

"Well, he's definitely not some boy on Broadway," his father wheezed as he got up, with a bit of help from his son.  He looked at him. "He's a strong boy."

"Made stronger by his husband.  Who calms him down.  Unfortunately in the last week he's had his best friend kidnaped, her son nearly hurt, his uncle nearly shot him for the inheritance money, and was going to keep his son, and then his husband was threatened too.  You're damn lucky, dad."  He looked him over, then at the kitchen, then back at him.  "Why didn't you call?"

"I thought we could go out for beers since I heard you took today off to pick someone up."

"Xander, we're going for beers," he called.

"I'm going to nap and then maybe shop."

"Sure.  Call me if you get lost.  Food's in the fridge if you want any."

"That's okay."

Don led his father out, turning back on the security system before he left.  You could never be too careful around Xander.  He looked at his father.  "That was really stupid.  You knew he could handle himself."

"I wanted to make sure he was fit to be in the family, even being gay."

"Dad, that's the guy who we caught serial killers with.  Yes, he's more than fit to be my nephew, even if he wasn't.  He was like my kid brother before we found out."  He led him off, down to the garage. "You want the Corvair or the work car?"

"The work car.  Your Corvair is too fancy for me."

"I like it."

"I noticed. I'm sure she does pretty in chases too."  He got in and buckled up. "The usual place?"

"Fine with me."  He started the car and pulled out of the garage.  The building security knew he was there. He had made sure of it.  "He is sorry about that, dad."

"That's fine.  He's got a good yank on him.  He'd make a good officer if it wasn't for that flaw."

"Dad, there's been gay cops since the beginning of the profession.  You served with more than one and didn't realize."

"They were less open back then.  I was more comfortable with them.  Instead I see the flaming queens on the job, and they're disgracing the uniform with their open conduct."

"Sorry, dad.  Some of the flaming queens are good in Vice.  They can go places you couldn't and I can't.  Besides, I never wonder where I stand with them.  They let you know.  I like that about them."  His father grunted. "Tough, dad."

"Are you gay?"

"Nope.  Not presently. If I have much more of Xander's luck with women I might be."  He turned a corner and found a parking spot.  "C'mon, I'll buy the first round."

"You should.  He runs that foundation you help with?"

"We run it together but he does most of it," Don admitted.  "Including most of the social hobnobbing.  Thankfully."  He walked him inside, seeing the cops who gave him wary looks.  "What?"

"Who was the little boy?" one of the guys called.

"Harris?  As in married to one of Miami's finest?  Sent up here for a break after nearly being killed by a relative?"  They shut up.  "That's my nephew."  That got some nods.

"He's got a good toss on him and a mouth," Don Sr. noted, earning some smiles.  "Mouthed off to me straight away, told me to get off my high horse too."  That got some laughs.  "Get us some drinks, I'll find us a table."

"Sure."  He nodded at Danny and Mac.  Then at his father, getting a grin from Danny.  He got their beers and paused at their table.  "Xander's luggage was lost, the hotel was trying to bump him up and charge him extra, and he's resting after chewing my dad out for me."  He walked off, going to their table.

"You left him alone?" Danny called.

"He's resting."

"Still!  Flack, you know that's dangerous!"

"I've got security in my building and in my apartment.  Calm down!"  He glared at him. "He'll be fine!"

"He won't be fine, this is *Xander* we're talking about!" Danny protested.

"He'll.  Be.  Fine," Don said firmly.

"We'll call to check on him in a while," Mac promised. "Just in case another violently anti- gay group comes after him or something."  Danny moaned.  "It's not like he'll get taken for real, Danny."

"If he does, you get to tell Horatio."

"I will," Mac promised.  "I'll even pick him up at the airport if Xander's taken for real this time."  Danny nodded that he would be, because no one wanted to get in Horatio's way if Xander were taken for real.

***

Xander came out of the coffee shop with a cup, sipping it as he looked up and down the street.  He headed for a likely looking place, not that he *wanted* to shop at the Gap, but it was close by.  His phone rang so he pulled it out to answer it after glancing at the number.  "Hey, Mistress Mary," he said happily.  "What's up?"  He listened.  "Um, nope, sorry. I'm reconnecting with the further flung family members so I can take a quick rest.  No, nothing like that.  No, he's fine.  It's just been a bit of stress recently.  I mean, I get sick with the chicken pox, then my best friend is taken by her parents. My uncle tries to kill me.  Minor family things.  Yeah, so I'm connecting with the family that's out of the area and resting a bit.  No, I won't be back by then. I don't come back until the 8th.  Wish I did."  Which he didn't, he hated boats.

"Sorry, Mary.  You can tell everyone who cares I'm okay, just tired."  He grinned and sipped his coffee.  "No, the usual.  Airline ate my bag.  It went to Taiwan."  She giggled at him.  "Air Japan jet next to mine.  So it'll be back before I will and I need to find some jeans and t-shirts.  Thanks.  Of course. You too."  He hung up and stuffed his phone back in his pocket, finding his wallet missing.  He summoned it and put it in his front pocket, opposite his phone, and continued on.  By the time he got done, Don should be home or his security guys said they could let him back in.  He walked in to the Gap and had a flashback from Sunnydale, shopping with Buffy and Willow.  He looked, then turned and walked out, shaking his head, heading for the small, vintage clothing place up the street.  He didn't need those thoughts when he was alone.  They were not happy-making ones.

"Xander?" a voice called, making him turn and wave at Lindsey.  She walked up to him. "What are you doing out already?"

"Airline lost my bag.  It went onto the plane heading to Taiwan."

"Oh, good.  So, shopping?"  He nodded, finishing his coffee and tossing the cup into the trash.  "Need help?"

"No, I'm okay with buying jeans and stuff.  I just couldn't hack the Gap today.  Brings back memories of shopping with Willow and Buffy."

"Who?"

"Old friends from my original town."

"Oh.  Okay.  You sure?  I've got to do some t-shirt shopping myself for work."  He shrugged and let her lead the way into the store.  The salespeople gave her a tired smile.  "Back here, Xander."  He grinned at the salespeople, going back to the t-shirt section.  He found his size and colors he liked, then a few pairs of jeans, plus a few packages of briefs.  "You're easy to please today."

"I only pull the primadonna act out for kidnapers," he admitted, smirking at her.  "I'm usually very easy to please."  He brought everything up there, finding his wallet was gone again.  He glared outside and summoned it and the contents again.  They all came back but they thumped against the door.  "Now I know why people use chains on them.  They keep running away."  He handed over the money, getting a smile from the salesgirl.  "Airline malfunction."

"I had one of those but they got mine back that night," she promised, ringing him up.  "Need twenty more cents."  Lindsey put it down, earning a smile from both of them.

"It's my small attempt at spoiling him. He'll be missing it soon."

"I miss it already.  Horatio was one clinging husband when I had chicken pox.  I had to make him go away for a few hours so I regained sanity."

She nodded.  "My parents got a bit hyper when I had it too."  The bag was handed to Xander and she rang Lindsey up, taking her money.  "Thank you."  She took her bag and they walked out.  "Heading anywhere else tonight?"  He shook his head.  "Where's Don? I know he took off to spend some time with you tonight."

"His dad showed up.  They went for beers while I laid down.  He caught me just at the end of the bad section of the day and I rather snapped."  She giggled.  "He said I wasn't manly. I flipped him and put him into prime cuffing position, then leaned on him."  She giggled harder.  He nodded. "Yeah.  So I'll probably get dinner and head back."

"Sure.  Watch that runaway wallet, Xander."  He stuck it down his pants, giving her a telling look, getting longer laughs.  "Want a ride back?"

"It's not that far.  Thanks anyway, and for showing this place."

"Not a problem.  Have a better night, Xander."  He nodded, heading off toward Don's condo again.  It wasn't that far, only six blocks, and he needed to stretch his legs.  Maybe he'd go for a run in the park tomorrow.  It wasn't his usual day to jog but it might be nice.  He popped into another store, finding sweats and boxers in there, plus a pair of running shorts.  He looked at his sneakers, then the ones on the wall.  He checked the soles.  Not great but still pretty good.  He decided against new running shoes.

"You know, those won't support your ankles very well," the salesman offered.  "Especially if you're not an experienced runner."

Xander looked at him, giving him a bland look.  "I've got better at home, where I do five miles twice a week.  I'm on vacation."  That got a nod and he backed off.  "I really can do a few miles. Where do you go to hit the jogging trail in the park?"  The rack of maps was pointed at.  "Thank you." He went way, finding the one he wanted.  "That looks like a nice, flat course."  He took it to check out, smiling and blushing a bit as he dug out his wallet.  "Sorry, got stolen earlier."  The salesman giggled.  "Twice.  It seems to grow legs.  I figured no one would grab it from there."   That got some understanding looks.  "Is that a nice place to run?"

"It is, but watch out for the early morning riders."  He grinned.  "It's a shady and nice early morning run but a bit more crowded in the afternoon."

"I usually go late afternoon, early evening."

"Then it's a little less crowded, but you'll get the evening riders."

"Sure.  Thank you."  He took his change and his bag, looking over the map as he walked out, then came back for his other bag, shaking his head.  "It's been a long day.  I'm going to take a nap," he muttered.  That got an understanding look.  "Airlines."  He sighed as he walked out, heading back to Don's for real this time.  He ran into him coming in, grinning at him.  "Hi.  How were beers?"

"Beers.  Cop bar.  Someone tried to tease me about you and I set 'em straight."  He grinned and gave him a nudge.  "You good on clothes?"

"Jeans, t-shirts, jogging shorts, I've got sneakers.  Underwear."

Don snickered.  "I got told Lindsey and you ran into each other.  She good to you?"

"Yeah, took me somewhere decent to find t-shirts.  She was nice and polite, all smiles."  He walked in to put his clothes next to his bed, then got out of his shoes and socks, putting them in the closet. He came back out and hugged him.  "How are you, Don?  Doing okay?"

"I'm okay," he promised, patting him on the hand.  "Get off."  Xander got off with a grin.  "Thanks.  Dinner?"

"I'm not really hungry."

"You still should eat."

"I know but I'm not hungry.  I had a good lunch before Eric cuffed me and put me on the plane. You go eat."

"Nah, I'll stay.  How about I order in case you get hungry?"  Xander shrugged.  "Missing anything?  Pizza, chinese, Greek?"

"I don't care, Don.  I'm not hungry."  Don felt his forehead.  "I'm fine."

"You're always hungry."  He sat down, staring at him.  "You think he sent you away?"

"Yup, because I think he's got a dangerous case.  I haven't been stressed in days."

Don nodded.  "Could be.  He never told me anything about that.  Just that you were moping, stressed, and tired."  He looked his nephew over.  "Which you look to be."  He leaned over, testing his head again.  "You're not warm but I've never known you to pass up eating."

"I had some coffee."

"That's not food, no matter how we live on it sometimes."  He stood up.  "Ice cream?"

"I'm not that pitiful."

"I am."  He went to the kitchen, coming back with bowls of ice cream and the chocolate sauce, handing Xander one. "Eat."  Xander ate slowly and didn't use the chocolate.  "He didn't send you away for any other reason, Xander.  I'm sure of it."

"He didn't tell me why.  He normally would have."  He ate a bite and looked at him. "How do you do that?"

"Read people like that?" he asked with a grin. "Training.  Which is one reason why I can't stand the formal events.  Everyone reads as lying through their bleached teeth ta me."  He shrugged and ate another bite. "Call and tell him about the bags.  Ask how his case is."

Xander grabbed the phone, leaning back while he called home.  "Hey, it's me.  Expect a call from my luggage.  It'll be back before I will."  He snorted.  "No, Don said to warn you that it went to Taiwan."  He smirked just a bit.  "So, how's the case you didn't want me to know about?"  He paused.  "But I'm not.....  Oh."  He looked at Don.  "Someone walked up to Yelina and accused her of me breaking her son in."  Don shook his head quickly.  He listened to Horatio telling them he knew it wasn't true, but that he wanted them out of harm's way in case this got nasty since it was one of the society hos he had to deal with. "Then the proper way of dealing with it is in the same social circle, Horatio.  Yeah, well, the sniping heiresses won't.  Besides, I'm worth more than she is."  He ate another bite.  "Don decided I was moping so he gave me ice cream."  He ate another bite, licking the spoon.  "No, doing it socially would cut down on that.  Sure."

He hung up and pulled out his cell, calling Mary again.  "Why didn't you tell me the slutty, ass-baring bitch with the bad fake tan and Brazillian with stray hairs was attacking me and Ray Jr.?" he asked patiently. He listened to her shocked noises.  "That's why I'm in New York, Mary.  Horatio wanted to keep me from going after her publically for upsetting Ray and his mother."  He ate another bite.  "Good, get this into her head, dear.  Ray Jr. is like my little brother.  I watch out for him, I teach him, I spoil him horribly by letting him use my car if he balances my accounts for me.  Yeah, well, unlike her, my husband makes a difference in society and isn't just wasting air and soaking up alcohol and gas.  By the way, she might want to stop him from so blatantly cheating.  Really."

He chuckled.  "No, dear, why would I want to ruin her in the press?  Besides the fact that your buddy sicced Erica onto my house when I had chicken pox."  He finished his ice cream and poured chocolate sauce into the bowl, using his finger to lick it out.  "Uh-huh.  Yay.  Mary, this is Xander, not some little boy from the prep schools.   Do I care?" he asked with a bright grin.  "Really?"  He smirked at Don.  "Do you have one coming up?"  Don groaned.  "You have to go to *some* of them, Don.  It's good for the reputation of the Foundation."  He slumped down and nodded.  "Come on.  It'll be fun.  We'll go make fun of the bad plastic surgery, like Ray and I do."  The person on the phone gasped.  "Quietly, Mary, quietly.  Never to their faces.  Oh, might tell your sister, bad hair day earlier."  He smirked.  "Thanks, dear."  He hung up then stood up.  "It's when?"

"Two days.  Must I?"

"Yup.  I'll need backup this time."  He finished his chocolate sauce and grinned.  "Do we have a tux?"

"Unfortunately.  I look like crap in it."

Xander nodded.  "Me too but mine was actually on purpose."  He grinned.  "We can fix that."  Don nodded.  "Unless you want me to bring Stella to enact my revenge?"

"Are you sure that's wise?"

"No but it'll be life affirming."  He smiled sweetly.  Don shuddered at that look.  "Come on, Don....." he whined.

"Nope.  Not aiding and abetting that, Xander.  Sorry."

"That's fine.  I'll bring Stella."  He called her since she was on speed dial.  "Stella, baby, it's Xander.  I've got to hit a social event while I'm up here.  Can I borrow your beauty and leash?"  He leaned back.  "No, social sniping is getting out of hand, I'm bringing it to a higher authority.  I'll dress you pretty enough to make your men beg at your feet, Stella.  Pwease?"  He grinned.  "Thank you.  Two days.  Yes, I can."  He hung up and looked at Don.  He smiled sweetly, then jumped up and headed for his bedroom, coming out with a frown.  "That was in my bag."  He called Willow.  "Put my blue wallet in your summoning circle, or mine if you're at my house.  That one.  Because the social sniping is getting out of hand down there.  I'm going shopping."  He smirked.  "I'll bring you back something pretty for Ryan."  He smirked at Don's choking laugh.  "Thanks, baby."  He waited the ten minutes she wanted and then summoned his special wallet, the one that went to his real accounts, not the smaller trust accounts.  He called a number on the back, then looked at Don.  "Name one color she looks *stunning* in."

"Diamonds, every woman looks great in them."

Xander smirked.  "I like how you think.  Lisa, it's Xander.  I've got to take Don's spot at a local event in two days.  I know, short notice.  No, I'm in New York.  Thanks.  No, I'm bringing the elegant Miss Bonasera. I want her to look as hot as Horatio did in his tux at the convention. I want her stunning and her men begging at her feet."  He grinned.  "And me if possible.  Thank you, Lisa.  Love you."  He blew a kiss and hung up.  "A buddy.  Di introduced us."  He grinned at him.  Then he twirled around.  "I'm a happy boy.  Even if Horatio does give me that disappointed and slightly constipated look again."  Don snickered at that.  "You sure you don't want to go?"

"I loathe those things."

"Yes, but it's part of the Foundation stuff, Don.  You really could be doing a bit more."

"Nag again, sleep on the street, Xander."

"I know.  I'm sorry I'm a horrible nag."  He hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.  "Any new games?"

Don beamed.  "I'm still due in tomorrow."

"I know."  He smirked. "I'll let you get to bed after I beat you.  Shouldn't take too long."  Don snorted and led him back to his game room to prove who was the better gamer.

***

Danny looked up as Stella came out of the dressing room before the event, his jaw dropping.  "Is that on backward?" he asked, swallowing his extra spit.  He used his phone to take a picture and sent it to Mac, still staring at her.  "Stella, man."

She smiled.  "Have I mentioned I like Xander's friends?"

"Yeah, so do I."  He blinked at her.  Her black dress clung in all the right ways, showing a gently immodest amount of cleavage, which was only enhanced by the diamonds she was wearing.  Her hair was loose but the curls looked like they had been finger combed.  Nothing too styled but nothing trashy.  Mac came up to where they were with Sheldon and Sid, their ME, plus Don.

Don whistled.  "Almost makes me wish I was going.  Good thing Xander is."  He walked around her, twitching her dress a bit.  He smiled at her.  "Hold still."  He popped the small pimple.  "Sorry, couldn't let that go on."

"Thank you.  Any others?"

"One," he said, getting the one resting against her back neckline.  She winced but he smoothed a finger over it.  "There, perfect again."  He wiped his fingers off on an alcohol pad Sheldon handed him absently.  He looked up as Xander walked up to them, gaping in awe.  "Xander."

Xander smirked.  "I do clean up well, Don.  That looks even better with the jewelry.  I'm glad someone's wearing it."

"Another gift?" Danny asked.  Xander nodded.  "From?"

Xander smirked. "A very nice older lady who said I should use it to tempt a young thing to me to make me give up the life."  He walked around her.  "Hmm."  He plucked at the same spot, then pulled something out of his pocket and put the small jeweled pin in.  "There, a small bit of bling."

"That looks dumb," Don complained.

"Montana," Danny called, "we need a woman's opinion."  She came up the hall, staring at Stella.  "She looks nice, right?"

"Very."  She walked up to her.  "That's my lifetime's salary around your neck."

Xander looked at her, then pointed at the earrings.  "That's your lifetime salary, Lindsey.  The necklace is more than all of you will make together."  She gaped.  "Come look at this spot."  She looked and took out the pin, then pulled Stella back into the changing room, coming out a minute later with the spot smoothed out.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  There was an extra string.  I sealed off the edges too."  She shook her head. "I couldn't handle that stuff.  I'd be nervous I'd put my foot in my mouth."

"Oh, I still am," Xander assured her.  "Shall we, beauteous one?"  He offered her arm.  "I'll be a good and polite gentleman, Mac.  She'll be very safe with me."  He looked at Danny, getting a nod and a smirk.  "But someone can send a picture to Horatio if you want. My phone's at home."  He smiled sweetly and walked her out to the car he had rented, a nice Beamer with a driver.  He helped her into the back then got in once she slid over. "To the party please."  The driver nodded and took them off.  "I had a long run this morning and it was a very nice one.  I even got to pet a few horses."  She giggled at that.  "Do you think I'll like polo?  We've been invited to a charity match and it's highly suggested I go."

"I think you'll like watching the horses.  I've never seen a match."  She covered her mouth.  "I forgot to do my teeth."  He handed her his breath spray, making her hiss.  "Thank you."  She hesitantly sprayed her mouth, then smiled.  "Weaker."

"Heat seems to do that.  After a month or so it's really weak.  You can have that one."  She smiled and tucked it into her bag, along with her badge, gun, and compact, plus her keys and wallet.  He grinned at her.  "You didn't need that."

"Oh yes I do.  I always carry it."  He nodded. "You're not?"

"I get yelled at when I go armed to these things.  Even if people do try to take me."  They pulled up in front of the house holding the party, and he handed her his invitation, letting her hand it over.

"Sir, you're Don Flack Junior?"

"No, I'm Alexander Harris, the other head of the Bennis Foundation. My uncle was on call tonight and couldn't come."  He radioed that up and got a nod, smiling at him.  "Sorry about the unexplained change."

"It happens, sir.  We're happy you could come tonight.  Up to the main doorway and present this there," he ordered, handing it back.  He opened the gate to them.

Xander took a few deep breaths.  "Thank you, Stella."

"Not a problem, Xander."  She patted his hand. "It's not often I get chances like this."  She touched the necklace.  "She really gave you this?"  Xander nodded.  "Why did the old matron give these to you?"

"She wanted me to use them to entice a nice young thing to my side so I could settle down and quit having bad habits.  Meaning getting taken and teasing, but she liked Horatio when she met him.  You think getting Don to these is like pulling teeth?" he shared, making her laugh.  "Exactly."  The car stopped and the door was opened so he got out, presenting the invitation then helping Stella out.  He took her arm, letting her clutch purse hang by the thin silver chain around her wrist that he had on his arm.  The doorman handed over the invitation to the guard.  He smiled.  "Sorry about the sudden switch but he had an on- call tonight."

"We don't often see him, sir."  He looked him over, then her.  He looked at her purse.  She produced her badge.  "Ah.  Carrying?"  She nodded, letting him see her piece.  "Whisper it in the ear of the officer inside.  He's an off-duty moonlighting."  He marked them off.  "Your name, sir?"

"Xander Harris.  Or Alexander Harris possibly.  I do all the events down in Miami."  He got a look and Xander grinned. "Yes, that Xander Harris."

"No husband?"

"She's filling in."  He smirked and winked at him, heading inside.  The guard got whispered at, taking a look at Stella's badge while he was hand-wanded "I've got a subdermal GPS chip in my left thigh," he reported quietly.  "Two piercings."  That got a nod and they let him pass.  He took Stella's arm back on the other side, looking her over.  "Dress. And let me do something."  He arranged a curl, making her smile as she gave a gentle tug on spot on her dress.  He ducked her out of the way, looking at the seam.  "That's probably what Monroe did."  He pulled something out and ran a bead of invisible glue inside the seam.  She smiled at that.  "Di's split on me a few times too."  He blew and it quit splitting.  He looked her over.  "Good enough?"  She checked the mirror, nodding.  She took his arm back and they entered the ballroom, nodding at the man there.  "Sorry, last minute twitching."

"We get much of that, sir.  Mr. Alexander Harris and date, Stella Bonasera."

They walked down the stairs, him smiling at the matron in charge.  "Mel," he said, kissing her cheek.

"Xander, what on earth?"

"Horatio said I should come reconnect with the farther flung chosen-family.  Stella's part of that.  Allow me to introduce Stella Bonasera, an outstanding CSI here in Manhattan.  She works with Mac Taylor.  His second."

"That's delightful, child.  I adore those on you.  She definitely would approve."  She smiled and kissed her on the cheek, whispering in her ear, getting a nod.  She looked at Xander.  "That twit...."

"Is only part of why I'm here.  Don's *refusing* to go into public in case it comes back to haunt him later."

"Ah.  I understand."  She looked around.  "By the bar and out by the bay windows you'll find a lot of your usual cohorts, including the little twit and her mother.  Do play nice."

"Of course."  He winked and walked her off, smiling at her. "She's one of the sweetest ladies.  She's the one who invited me to the charity polo match."

"That's nice.  She seems very nice."

"Oh, she is and she's very gentle with me when she had to correct stuff I was doing wrong.  Including the aftershave thing a few times."  He bowed courtly to the man and older woman they ran into.  "Susan, Harold.  May I introduce my date tonight, Stella.  Stella, these are Susan and Harold Raines.  They are Mel's daughter and son-in-law."

Susan gave him a chiding look.  "You got it backwards, Xander."

"I'm sorry," he offered with a pout.  "Not like I have family like that to practice on."

"True."  She kissed each of their cheeks, looking Stella over.  "You're not his usual sort.  You don't look like Horatio at all, or Ray Jr."

She smiled.  "I'm one of the local CSIs who watch over Xander when he's in town.  He's like a pesky little brother at times."  She laughed.  "He gets into so much *trouble* when he's up here without his spouse."

"Oh, I can only imagine.  What with the car chase last week."  Xander blushed and looked down a bit. "Didn't tell him?" Susan teased.

"Nope.  Think I'm that dumb?" he countered, earning a laugh from Harold.  "Really.  He'd yell for hours."  He smiled at the woman walking over to them.  "Ah, another Miami native.  Lorel."  He smiled at Stella.  "Stella, this is Lorel.  Lorel, this is Stella Bonasera."

"No little *brother*?" she taunted.

"Ray Jr?  No, he's in Miami, where he's supposed to be.  Though recently he's been working on issues at home.  After all, he had to shoot someone to protect his mother recently."  She looked appalled.  "Hmm.  So he's at home resting and recuperating at the moment.  He did *fantastic* filling in while I had chicken pox though.  Even your mother said so."  She backed off, so he smiled at the others coming up behind her.  "Ah, speaking of mother's.  Mrs. Standish.  May I present my escort tonight, Stella Bonasera, one of the local detectives."

"I'm sure you're hell on crime, dear," she said, shaking her hand.  "I'm equally sure you're needed to keep this one in line."

"No, he's been very good so far.  No one's tried to take him, no one's tried to hit on him, no one's made him pout yet."  That got a smile from the older women.  "He's being a good boy, but Don's on call tonight."

"You work with Don?" Mrs. Standish said, walking her off.  "Do tell me about that sweetheart.  He's such a shy little boy at these things when we can nag him into coming."

"He thinks it'll hurt his career in the department at times.  Or make it more difficult if a case comes up in this circle," she admitted quietly.

"It'd probably help him with the rest of us," she offered. "Besides, he's *adorable*."

Stella smiled.  "He is, but he's a big goofball now and then.  He and Xander stayed up half the night playing video games."  That got a giggle.  "Horatio sent him up for a short rest.  Things have been stressful."

"Oh, I'm sure Horatio knows more about what he does than we think.  Or at least he thinks.  He's been checking on him recently thanks to that *horrible* Margaret woman."

"One of my direct coworkers, Danny, helped him with that.  Don's one of our detectives but not one of our CSIs."

"Awww, so you get to stare at the totally scrumptious Mr. Taylor?" she asked, moving closer.  "Is he nice?"

"Very but he's got a small issue of shyness and tries so hard to keep distance between himself and others."  They shared a smile.  "I worked with Mac just today.  I won't go into details on the case, but he was frowning most of it.  It made some poor college girls watching us for their CSI classes swoon."  That got a chuckle.

Xander walked off with Lorel. "You know, it's funny you should mention Ray Jr.," he said, walking her toward where he had seen her stepmother - the truly scary woman in the family.  "Hi, Mrs. Correl."  He kissed her cheek, startling her.  He grinned.

"Oh, Xander!"  She hugged him.  "And I see you found my wayward daughter."

"Yup, and she asked a very polite question about Ray Jr."  Her mother glared at her, making her flinch.  He whispered in her ear, getting a nod.  "I'm bringing this back to you so I don't have to try my hand at social sniping.  I don't want to make anyone unhappy with me," he promised.

"I know, Xander.  You're such a good boy most of the time. Now, I saw a woman on your arm."  She looked around and spotted the new face.  "Well, she's *adorable*," she cooed, leading him back to her.  "That's a beautiful dress."

"One of Di's former designers opened her own shop; Xander brought me to her and lent me the jewelry," Stella offered, smiling and shaking her hand. "Detective Stella Bonasera."

"Oooh, so you work with *Don*," she said with a smirk.  Stella smiled and nodded.

"It seems Don's one of their pet detectives, Emmy.  Stella here is one of Taylor's CSIs."

"Oooh, I know Mac," she agreed, letting Xander go.  "He's *adorable* and he scowls so much at the social things the department makes him go to. Maybe he should bring you."

"I'd never hint but it might help him.  He never feels at home in his tux.  There's no gun."  Xander giggled at that.  "Him too.  He's so lost without a weapon."

"Dear, he *is* a weapon," the women assured him.  Xander smirked and nodded, wandering off to talk to someone else he knew.  They gave his back a knowing smile then turned back to her, pumping her for information while Xander went to ask some of the people he knew what polo was about and if he was expected to bring anything since Horatio had told him it was like tailgating.  It got some laughs from the other guys but they knew he was newly rich and occasionally needed help.

***

Stella walked into Mac's apartment giggling and smiling, pouncing Danny to kiss him.  "The matrons dote on Xander horribly. It's like he's got a bunch of aunts who've adopted him as long as he acts like a good boy for them in public."  He grinned and took another kiss.  She smirked at him.  "Missed me?"

"I had to work myself off twice just thinking about you in that dress," he assured her, moving down her neck.  "No diamonds?"

"I made Xander take them back.  They were really expensive and I didn't want to hurt them."

"S'okay, that dress is more than enough," he promised, going further down to kiss anything he wanted.

"Danny!" she said, wiggling free.  "Are you desperate?"

He nodded, pulling her closer again. "Mac said I was too horny for him thanks to this dress."  He kissed her again, running his hand into her hair, the other pulling her closer.  She moaned, clinging to him.  "Wear it again for us."  He got her unzipped and flipped her around, taking her against the couch, making her squeal and claw at the couch to find a handhold.

Mac came out and pulled Stella away from him, kissing her hard.  "Did he pounce?"

"Yes, and all the women there cooed over you all night," she teased, kissing him again.  She squeaked as Danny's tongue got her instead.  "Danny!"

Mac chuckled in her ear. "I wasn't enough for him.  He needs you."

"This is so naughty!"

"Hmm.  You in those heels and stockings, plus the black underwear," Mac moaned, pulling her away from Danny with a groan of his own.  Danny growled and moved to get her and him, making them both groan.  "Bedroom, Danny."

"Damn skippy."  He got up and picked Stella up, carrying her that way.

"That works for me," Mac decided, following after them.  He answered the door, finding Xander's temporary driver there.  "Problems?"  The small bag in his hand was handed over.  "What's this?"

"Master Xander said those were hers and she forgot them, sir."  He tipped his hat and headed back to the car so he could go home.

Mac looked inside, then smirked and went to dress their princess up again.  Danny moaned at the sight of the jewels and pounced her extra hard.

***

Xander strolled into Don's apartment, smirking at him.  "You are requested to go more often. They think you're adorable and they want to fix you up with their daughters."

Don shuddered. "Most of the ones there just want me for my ass of doom."

"Well, yeah."  He flopped down beside him, taking off his bowtie.  "I did good with Stella."

"You did.  But if you sent those jewels back to her, she's going to give them back again tomorrow."

"Maybe not."  He hugged him.  "Any new whines from home?"

"Nope.  It get fixed?"

"I left it in her mother's hands.  I like her mother, she's one of the nice ladies who'll help me if I ask, but if I go too wrong she'll forget me for good."

Don nodded.  "I've seen a lot of that.  How did you two explain it?"

"That you were concerned about the impact on your job if a case should cross into their world."

"Yeah, that too.  Or just the other guys at work."  He shrugged and looked at him, pulling him closer to hug.  "You okay, kiddo?"

"I'm fine. He didn't even call?"

"Don't know, I only got home an hour ago.  You should check your phone."  He yawned.  "It's time for bed.  Go get ready and we'll cuddle and watch the news."  Xander went to do that, coming back in a pair of boxers and a t-shirt.  He curled up next to Don with a yawn of his own.  It was comforting, he wasn't fighting the big, empty bed. Even if it was only a full size, it was still too big and empty. Don smiled at him once he was asleep. "It's not like he sent you away for good, Xander.  He still loves you.  He just wanted you out of danger."  He gave his arm a pet and got comfortable.  It looked like he was sleeping on the couch that night.

***

Horatio looked up as Speed walked into the office.  "What?"

"It's ten at night. Go home."

"I can't.  I have to finish this tonight."

Speed took the pen from his hand and put it down, then hauled him up and pushed him out the door. "Go home!  Now!"  He walked him out and down to his hummer. "You okay to drive?"

"I'm fine, Speed," he said quietly.

"You're not fine.  Neither of you can sleep alone anymore."  He pointed and Horatio shook his head but followed orders. "Try to sleep, Horatio. You could both use the rest."  He watched him pull out and head home, going to call his son's phone again. Then he smirked and sent the pictures from the event earlier to Horatio's home computer, which he knew would make him sigh.  Maybe Xander would be able to figure out what was wrong with Horatio this time.  He followed him home, blatantly doing it, then went to his place once he was inside.

Horatio sat down behind his desk, looking at the notes his nephew had left.  "Someone apologized for Lorel's remarks?" he read, shrugging.  That must be the thing where someone was taunting Ray for being Xander's escort.  Or something like that.  He hadn't listened to much of that stuff.  He logged onto his home computer, finding the pictures waiting on him.  He nearly growled.  Stella looked magnificent, but Xander looked less than happy.  He looked at his eyes.  He was smiling but his eyes said he was tired and miserable.  He called his lover's phone, getting his voicemail.  "Xander, I'm sorry I had to send you off this time.  That gang came back and I don't want to make you a target.  I'd die if you got hurt," he said quietly.  "Please forgive me?  Come home on time?"  He hung up and leaned back.  That's how he fell asleep until the phone in his pocket rang.  He pulled it out and answered it. "Xander?"

He smiled, listening to him talk.  "It's back. They got it out on their refueling stop," he agreed, listening to him talk about what had happened that night.  "Did you have fun?"  Xander's 'not without you there to make me laugh' about broke him. "I'm sorry I don't go to very many of those with you, Xander.  I wish I could go more often but work gets in the way."  His mate promised to cut back.  "If you want to go and feel you should, then I'll go as often as I can.  As long as it doesn't become our regular evening out.  I'd rather we go back to the dating things, like dinner and those things."  Xander's voice sounded happier when he agreed.  "Dinner when you get back in a few days?"  He smiled and wrote that down.  "I know, work willing," he agreed quietly.  "Speed had to send me home.  Did she have fun at least?" He laughed at the image of Stella having to subtly defend her men from all the old matrons who wanted Mac's butt and Danny's smooth persona.  "That's good then.  Every woman should have one event that makes her the belle of the ball.  At least you weren't bored stupid.  No, no laundry this time. Paperwork."  He grinned. "I miss you too.  Just four more days, okay?"  He nodded.  "Love you.  Go to sleep, Xander."  He noted he was on the couch with Don, who was snoring. "If you can sleep that way, I won't be jealous.  I know you two won't do more.  Love you."  Xander said it back and hung up, letting him go into his room to climb into bed naked.

It was going to be a long four days.

***

Stella tapped on Don's apartment door, smiling at him when he opened it and grunted at her. "Where is your nephew?"

"Running," he said with disgust, going into the kitchen. "Coffee?"

"No, I've had some.  He dropped those jewels off on me, Don. You've got to stop him."

"Not like he can wear 'em and they're sentimental to him, Stella."  He looked at her.  "He adored that old woman when she alive. She mentored him and got him into the right mindset.  Used him as an escort and protege both."  She sat down to look at him.  "She was like a grandmother to him.  Her daughter thinks of Xander as a fond puppy her mother adopted and her granddaughter the same way, but he loved that old lady."  He shrugged. "So wear them whenever you can.  He obviously thought you were special enough."

"But...."

"Stella, you protest too strongly, he'll pout, if not cry.  Keep 'em for your wedding day or whatever."  He waved a hand.  "Or for the next time you've got to go out on the town like that."  He took a drink of coffee and leaned on the counter to look at her.  "It could be a lot worse, Stella.  He could spoil you like he does everyone down there.  By the way, no idea what I'm getting for the holidays, right?"  She shook her head. "Yeah, me either.  He said it was an explanation-might-be-needed present."  She smiled at that.  "I don't know what it is."

"Maybe he's getting you a new girlfriend."

"Nope.  Individual tastes vary.  So, how many of them cooed over Mac's ass?"

"Most of them.  A few of them wanted to be the creamy filling between him and Sheldon or him and Danny, and in two cases Danny and Sid."  Don snorted at that, shaking his head.  "One asked me if I thought I might date Lindsey.  Or Danny.  I admitted that Danny and I were that close but he was hesitant to be in a committed thing right now."  Don gave her a look. "He is."

"Stella, word of advice.  Push lightly there.  The boy will whine about not filling Xander's shoes and not being good enough and all that.  He might even get scared, but tie him down and assure him that you're serious.  Either that or flirt with someone and when the infamous temper comes out, remind him he said you weren't in a serious thing.  That'll stop both the temper and that complaint."  He finished his coffee and stood up again.  "Gotta go get dressed.  Make Xander eat if he comes in.  He's back to sulking and pouting."

"He was last night too.  I swear I almost saw him drinking."

Don paused to look at her. "He did.  Probably only one and a glass of champagne or so, but yeah, he did."  He finished his trek into the bedroom, then backtracked to the game room/library to write that to Horatio.  He had to know how much he was destroying his boy with this sending him away crap.  Then he went to get dressed.  "Are we thinking bad day or good day?"

"Bad day.  Mac got a call at four.  Danny got one at six."

"Then definitely not a good suit today," he decided, pulling out one of his older ones.

***

Horatio opened his morning email, finding one from Don.  He opened it and his good mood vanished for the rest of the week.  He leaned back to consider it, then decided on a course of action.  He called his brother.  "Ray, I need some help later on.  Call me when you get up."  He called his boss. "I've got to pick some things up for Xander.  I'll work from home today and stay on call in case there's a scene."  He hung up before he could protest, ignoring his desk phone as he walked out again.  It was his shortest day in his career.  A whole three minutes in the lab.

Calleigh looked out at him.  "Case already?"

"No, I have to run some errands for Xander."

"Why?  Can't he?"

He looked at her.  "Not right now, he's out of the city."  He got into his hummer and backed out, listening to his cell ring. He found it and sighed, taking the call.  "Caine?"  He listened to his boss patiently ask him why.  "Because my husband ended up drinking last night."  He heard the silence then the quiet question. "With the present case, I wanted him safe so I sent him to Don.  He's miserable, I'm miserable.  I want him back sooner but I've got to do a few things first so I'm working from home today unless a new case comes up that I have to work."  He hung up again and headed for an elegant house he knew, one where the owner would see him immediately.  He parked and got out, heading inside. "Ethan?"  Ethan came out of the kitchen.  "I need help."

"Case or Xander related?" he asked wisely.

"Xander related.  I need to better fit into his world now and then.  It's wearing him down."

"No, it's not. You sending him to Don wore him down.  Each time he's separated from you he quits eating and sleeping because he can't."  He came out with his morning meal and sat at the table.  "You should have realized this before now."

"I did but it's never been this bad.  He was drinking last night."  Ethan put down his fork to stare at him.  "Don said probably just a glass of champagne and a single drink but Xander doesn't drink, ever."

"I realize why," Ethan agreed. "It's not uncommon when you have alcoholic parents.  What are you going to do about it?"

"I want to better fit into his world, spend more time with him."

"Did you suggest that you go back to doing couplish things again, other than sex?"

"I have and he agreed," he admitted, sitting across from him, "but that still leaves his social schedule."

"Which is rather extensive this year," Ethan agreed. "They mostly like him like he's some odd cousin from the country who does fit but doesn't have a clue."  Horatio nodded at that.  "What are you thinking?"

"Going with him to more of them. Taking Ray Jr.'s place now and then."

"That might be nice.  I know you were seen as charming, yet slightly aloof, the last few you went to."

"I'm not comfortable there."

"Neither's he but Xander is a very good actor when he wants to be.  Why do you think he brings Ray with him?"  He ate a bite of breakfast and chewed slowly while he thought. "Riding lessons."  Horatio looked confused.  "The local community is polo mad.  That and spa mad and Xander hates spas.  Considers them nice as presents but he can't still long enough for a manicure, much less anything less than a massage.  That's the one good thing he gets out of them."  He ate another bite and chewed more quickly this time.  "That is an activity you could do together, plus it is befitting that he learn.  Maybe not to play polo himself, but to appreciate the horses more.  He likes beasts.  Even the big, smelly, stomping ones.  As proven by that cow."  Horatio smiled at that.  "Take him for some riding lessons and be the doting, spoiling husband you yearn to be.  Two of his accounts are in *your* name as well."

"That'd be like him buying them for himself."

"He wouldn't have put them in your name if he didn't allow you to use them, Horatio.  Remember, hyenas may run in packs, but they're flashy and loud packs with monogamous mates.  Tigers can be solitary but once they mate, they do so for life and they're subtle about it.  They lay in the shade together, hunt together, work as a team.  Xander's the only solitary, mated hyena ever seen.  He hunts for the pack, but without the pack present.  He's secure that he can go back to the pack when he needs and wants to but it's not what he does most of the time.  He lives in the bonded pair so the tiger is more comfortable."  He stared at him.  "You two may have different hunting methods, but you do share his style at work and he shares your style at home.  Find something that either merges the styles or appeals to a different part of you both that you share.  Try riding.  Xander likes the thrill of movement.  He's a roller coaster junkie too in case you hadn't noticed."  Horatio smirked slightly at that.  "So you have?"  He nodded. "Good.  Get him riding lessons and go with him."

"I know some."

"Even better.  Something you can help teach him and learn with him at the same time.  It's the little things that you cherish later, when one of you dies, Horatio," he noted quietly.  "Things that make memories, good and bad.  You live a dangerous life.  He lives a dangerous life.  The chances of him dying of old age are slim to none, especially since you'd go first. That's simply a function of age."  Horatio nodded, he had accepted that back at the beginning of their relationship.  "So make the memories that'll make him think fondly and not follow too soon."

"You think it's going to happen soon?" he asked flatly.

"No.  I don't. I haven't checked on anyone but his son for him.  Eric's going to make it past the age of college, which was what he wanted to make sure of."

"Was he cursed by Cordelia?"

Ethan shook his head.  "No but Willow managed to do it with the accidental magic she still has access to.  You cannot tell her but she can pull up just enough to save someone in an emergency.  With her latest series of mood swings she's the one who decided he shouldn't leave her.  So yell at that one for the current issues.  Are you moving out there?"  Horatio nodded.  "Which house?"

"I'd rather have one house and combine them, but I can see the point of having two.  I've already got most everything out there."  Ethan nodded at that.  "Am I wrong in worrying about him?"

"No, nor is he wrong in worrying about you, except for the fact that he's probably wondering if you've been doting on Marisol."  He shrugged. "She is the one threat he still sees.  By the way, you really should teach him proper defensive driving.  Not the stuff he picked up off the movies."  He stuffed his mouth again.

Horatio stared at him.  "There's stuff we all missed, wasn't there?"

"The only way to know what truly goes on in someone else's life is to be there beside them," Ethan reminded him.  "But yes, you missed someone trying to capture him and him doing some wonderful driving, but ending up at Frank Tripp's house as an end point. Apparently his wife came out to see what was going on, they saw her, they saw her husband, they took off.  Xander told him who it was and he quietly went to threaten them."  He shrugged. "I have no idea who it turned out to be."

"I'll talk with him later.  Thank you for the suggestion, Ethan."

"Remember, it's not changing who you are to allow a small bit of change into your life.  Allowing the small bit of change into your life is called having love and putting up with their quirks.  Like wanting a dog."

Horatio smirked. "He's got you begging for him now?"  Ethan nodded.  "Why?"

"It'd give him someone new to love and fuss over.  Otherwise he'll end up fussing himself into a coma when the new baby comes.  Now, go away.  I'm sure you can find a nice place to give riding lessons."  Horatio nodded, heading out to his hummer, thinking hard.  Ethan smirked.  That was a nice idea Xander asked him about.  No, pet, riding isn't hard if you have someone around to show you.  He went back to eating.  He hoped Horatio got the new case broken quickly.

***

Horatio looked at his brother, who hadn't called until after lunch.  Then at the pitiful beasts standing around him.  "Now I know why he wanted to bring you."

"Because he knew he couldn't sweettalk me into getting six or seven dogs. We're not that close."  He looked at the hopeful shelter keeper.  "I know his husband wants something he can run with.  He's a sap for cute and cuddly but he's got a son, who's a running, mooing, holy terror about playing tag with the only dog he knows.  It's got to like to cuddle now and then too."

She smiled at that description.  "My mother's best friend described a son just like that."  She looked at Horatio.  "You know the Delkos?"

"I work with Eric, and it is our son Eric who's the mooing, chasing one.  The dog is for Xander."

"Ah.  The I may have something."  She led them into the back, looking at the medium sized dogs.  Then at the larger dogs.  "Those three, they'd do wonderfully with children."

"That's a great dane," Horatio said, his eyes wide.

"I know, that's what's keeping him here," she sighed sadly.  "He's on his last day too."  The dog gave them a 'please, love me' pitiful look.

"Xander gave me that look once," Horatio admitted.

Ray moaned, looking down and shaking his head. "You'd never get your bed back, Horatio. Something smaller.  That one's drool would drive you insane."

"He needs a mommy figure anyway, he's got a spot on his back where we had to take a tissue sample and it needs to be looked after," the keeper admitted, looking at him.  "So if you know someone who wants to love something, that's a good choice."

"I'll tell Calleigh," Horatio promised.  He looked around, finding a few of the medium dogs he liked, but they all had really long fur.  He pointed at one and she shook her head.  "No?"

"Doesn't like kids. Scared to death of them.  We think his last family had a poorly trained child."  She shrugged.  "It happens."

"Hmm.  We're trying to keep our son from being one."  He looked at a cage, then walked closer.  "What are you?"

"That is a black lab.  He is the most hyper dog.  He was found chasing an alligator off his yard by some people.  His mommy had died and she let him out before she slit her wrists.  He is one hyper, bouncy dog.  Obedience classes would be a good thing with him.  But, he loves kids.  He's not food aggressive.  He'd probably enjoy going for runs with your husband, and might just pick your son up and carry him off too.  He did that to a kid the other day.  He's only a year old."

"Sounds like he'd be perfect for guide dog work," Ray offered.

"Yeah, but they don't usually come to us."  Horatio pulled out his phone and texted someone, then sent a second one.  Calleigh sent back 'great danes are big, horatio' and left it there.  She giggled at that.  "She's right, they are.  They also lean on you."  She looked around, spotting her favorite, who was also running out of time.  "We've got two on their last day.  Let's look at them.  They're both good with people."  They followed her to the cages.  "This one's a setter/lab mix.  She's inquisitive and loving.  Loves kids.  We had some in here the other day and she bathed one because he needed his diaper changed.  The mother was horrified that she was licking him.  The other is still really young and a mutt.  He's got some boxer, a bit of dobie, and we think some ausie sheepdog.  He's very loving and cuddly.  Will bounce and play, but he's very protective of what's his.  Again, he'll probably want some obedience training but that's good for any dog really."  She looked at Horatio.  "Other than them," she said, pointing at the cage beside the great dane.  "She's our momma dog.  She's been here twice and takes care of the puppies."

"She's heavily scarred," Ray noted.  "Car or owners?"

"Owners.  It hasn't broken her though."

"I'd be wary that a child would bring back those memories and she might snap," Horatio admitted. She looked at him.  "I figure dogs that've been that badly abused can have PTSD too."

She nodded. "So do we."  She looked around. "Those are the ones I'd suggest.  Unless you wanted to start with a puppy?"

"No, I'd prefer grown and house trained, maybe some obedience training."  Calleigh texted him back so he took pictures of that dog and the others she had suggested.  He smiled at the ones back from Speed and her.  "You may have a friend for the great dane after all."  She squealed and hugged him.  "And possibly another one."  He looked at his brother. "Your son is apparently playing hookie today.  He just texted that his mother would be lonely when he went to college."

"True."  He looked around, then back at him.  "She'd kill me."

"She'd squeal in happiness until they chewed on her shoes, Ray.  You know she would.  So would your son."  He looked at her, then back at the pitiful animals.  He really could see why Xander had arranged to not come alone and to go with someone who'd stop him.  He looked at the last two.  His phone rang. "Caine."  He groaned.  "Sure, but you've got to give me twenty.  I'm at the pound, Eric."  He looked at the dogs, then back at the other one. He texted Frank back, getting an 'I told them and they're coming'.  He showed it to her.  "One of the detectives we work with knows someone who trains guide dogs."  She hugged him.  He patted her on the back.  "Seriously, for a toddler, with a new one on the way.  Which of these two?"

"I'd take the mutt," she admitted.  "He'll be very protective of your son if something should happen.  I hear a lot about stuff happening to Xander. Plus, the setter's getting on in years, which is what's kept her here."  She gave him an unhappy look. "It's a fact of life, puppies go faster."

Horatio texted that picture to Di, getting a 'that's mean' from her.  But a squeal from an unknown number.  "Must be Taylor.  Huh."  He called.  "Di, Horatio.  Yes, we're getting a dog.  Well, that setter/lab mix is older.  She's a mothering dog.  They've got a protective, bouncy younger one too.  They've got a nice great dane if you prefer a larger dog....."  He trailed off at the groan and head thump he heard.  "It'd be good for Eric, Di, give him something to love beside his new baby sister.  Because he will turn into Xander and cuddle her to death if he doesn't have another outlet by then.  Yes, our son, Diana.  You know he will.  He did it to Toddy too."  He smirked at her renewed groaning.  They had pulled Eric off Todd many nights because he refused to give up his new teddyhuman.  One who usually wanted the mommy to feed or change him at that time.  "She's on her last day, Di."  He smirked at the helper.  "Expect the mother of our son to come down with him."

"I adore you, Lieutenant.  I truly do.  So, you'll take this bouncy one?"

"Sure.  It's a short hair.  I won't have to worry about it getting everywhere and ending up on a crime scene somehow."

"Of course."  She opened the cage and the dog bounced out, letting Ray pet him.  Then Horatio said something and put up his phone, squatting down to let the dog sniff him.  The dog licked up the center of his face and barked, sitting and wagging his tail.  "Yes, he and his boy and his son are going to be your new family.  You'll be good with them."  She got them a collar and leash, letting them walk him to the front to do the quicker paperwork.

"Ray, can you take him home for now?"

"Of course."  He took the leash.  "Break on that case?"

"Eric has someone in custody."  He smirked. "Which means Xander can come home sooner."  He trotted out to the hummer and got in, heading off to work.

Ray looked at her, then down at the dog, then back at her.  "My ex is going to kill me but my son will adore me again.  He's not aggressive around other animals, right?"

"No, he and those others have played in the yard plenty of times."

"Good.  I think Yelina could use a bit of love in her life."  She beamed at him.  "If I got her a puppy she'd freak, but a dog who needed some loving care...."

"Oooh, thank you!  That great dane wouldn't go any other way, sir."

"I know.  Let's go get your friend."  Another woman walked in and he smiled at her.  "Constance.  We're heading back there right now.  This is Frank Tripp's friend."

"That's a very fine looking mutt," she said, looking him over.

"Horatio's new dog.  Xander begged and pleaded."  She smiled at that.  "You know Xander?"

"Socially.  He still brags about his boy."  She followed them into the back, finding the dog easily, it was barking at the mouse that had run in.  Their new dog pounced it and killed it, then used it as a toy.

"Well, no more beach rats will ever get into Horatio's house."  He looked at the dog that came out.  "Are you sure he's not sick?"

"No, he's not sick.  That's why we did the muscle biopsy.  He's just sleepy.  It's his usual naptime.  You wanna go home?"  That woke him up and he came out to let Ray sniff him.  "Are you *sure* she wants a dog?"

"I'm sure.  My son wants a dog."

"You'd be Ray's father?" Constance suggested.  He nodded.  "Figures.  Yeah, his son is just like Xander. He'll bounce and run with the dog all he wants.  Then collapse and let the dog help him play video games."  That got a laugh and a nod.  "Great danes are good at that."

"They are," she agreed, leading him back out to do that paperwork.

Ray called his son.  "Meet me at your uncle's house in ten minutes."  He hung up and paid the small fee, then headed out with both dogs to the car.  The bouncy one climbed into the front seat, but that was all right.

***

Ray Jr. looked at the dogs, then at his father.  "Xander gets to have two?" he pouted.  "Eric will be happy."

"The great dane is ours, son."

Ray blinked, then stared at him in awe.  "You're getting me a dog?"  The leash got handed over. "Thank you!"  He sat down to play with the dog, who was more than happy to play with his new boy.  Di pulled in and got out, staring at them, then she shook her head and drove off, taking the lab/setter in the back home with her.  Both Rays snickered at that.

***

Yelina walked in that night, staring at the lump of beast on her couch.  "Did you sneak in here?"

"My dog," Ray called from the kitchen.

"Why do we have a dog, son?"  She headed that way, getting hugged for all she was worth.  "Son?"

"Uncle H took dad to the pound with him.  He's on his last day but he needs a bit of attention.  I need help learning how to change the bandage on his back, mom."  He led her out there.  "I thought about naming him Terror but Willow always says that names are important and can give power.  So maybe Nappy or Mushy?"

"Looks more like Sleepy."

"I took him with me on my run, mom.  We only got back an hour ago.  We did two miles, of course he's tired.  I'm tired."  She hugged him again.  "Baby?"

"That's no baby, son."

He looked up at her. "No, but it'll mean I won't be having one for a while."

"Baby's a good name," she agreed happily.  "Baby?"  She walked over and sat beside the dog, waking it up.  "Would you like to be named Baby?"  It wiggled and put his head in her lap, making her laugh but do the nice thing and scratch his ears.  "Fine, he can stay," she relented.  "Your father and I are going to have a long talk however."

"Sure.  He's hiding tonight.  Uncle H bought Xander a bouncy mutt."

"Diana called and said he had guilt tripped her into one."  She looked down at the beast, then at her son.  "Does he have food?"

"Only one can.  I figured maybe we could take him to the pet place tonight?  Together?"  She smiled and nodded.  "Cool."  He went back to the kitchen, coming out with a plate for each of them and the squirt gun on his belt. He handed her hers and looked at the dog.  "Off the couch so we can eat."  It groaned but moved, sitting there begging for the food.

"Open his."

"I did.  He ate it already."  He ate quickly, that begging was going to get to him soon.  His mother tossed over a piece of cheese, making him a happy dog.  She got tail wags and a happy bark. Someone rang the bell and the dog ran to the door, barking loudly.  "Down, boy!"  The dog settled down so he went to get it.  "Hey, Calleigh."

"I heard your daddy rescued the big dog."  She looked at him.  "Aren't you adorable!" she cooed.  The dog licked her and bounced some.  "Ahhh, someone wants to play!"  She scratched his ears, getting a groan and leaned on, which knocked her into the wall.

"We're going toy shopping tonight.  Di got one too.  So did Xander."  She beamed at that.  "We're heading to the pet store tonight."

"You may be getting help.  Horatio needs to go pick up food and dishes.  He called to ask if I knew which brand was best."

"At least Xander didn't get a society dog."

She snickered at that. "I can't see Xander with a little purse dog."  She walked in further and the dog ran back to Yelina's side, begging her again. "Oooh, bad habits already," she teased.

"Yes, but he came with them.  No more."  She showed her plate.  "I'd eat, son."  He grabbed his and scarfed it down.  "Well, there won't be any more dropped food in the house."  She looked at the laughing woman.  "Checking on them?"

"Seeing if we needed to take his father to the morgue for you."

"No, he's an adorable beast.  He takes up most of the couch but he'll lay with you."

"They do that. My friend's got one, he backs up into her lap and sits on her."  Yelina gave the dog an appraising look.  "They're loving and protective beasts."

"Good, then I won't have to s...attack an intruder again," Ray said firmly, not able to say that word yet. His mom gave him a hug and the dog licked his hands and face.  "Thanks, both of you.  So, you like our Baby?"

"I do.  He's adorable."  She handed over pictures and got down to play with the dog.

***

Horatio looked over as Speed walked in, nodding him out onto the porch with him.  Speed came out and sat down, and got a lapful.  "You're too big to be a lapdog," he complained, but he petted him anyway.  "I see you broke."

"I did," he admitted, patting his side.  The dog came over and sat beside him, allowing himself to be petted, even though he was giving him the deadly begging eyes.  "They remind me of Xander's."

"The dog reminds me of Xander.  Bouncy, cuddly, and begging."  He snatched a piece of chicken and tossed it, making the dog run after it.  "Get nail clippers, Horatio."

"I was going to do that tonight."  He ate a bite of dinner.  "Ray Jr. got a dog too.  Ray went back for the great dane."

"Oh, good.  I'm sure Yelina's going to be leaned on soon.  I sent her with pictures of Xander and Stella last night."

"They did look nice together."  He finished his dinner and he dog came back, sniffing at the table.  "It's all gone, Percival."  The dog pouted.  "We're going to get you food and things in a minute."  He settled in and the dog hopped in his lap, letting him pet it.  "You definitely need brushed and you definitely cuddle more than the husband does."  Speed snickered at that.  "It's nice though."

"It is," he agreed.  "He'll be fun to run with too."

"Indeed."  He looked at him.  "Came to see the dog?"

"Yup, and to see what you've got planned.  You ran out of there today like yo got hit in the gut by something."

"Xander was miserable."

"I saw the look in his eyes.  He's like that every time you send him up there for his own safety."  He shifted, putting his feet up on an empty seat.  The dog barked at him. "I know it's bad manners, but he lets us do it."  He reached over to scratch him.  Horatio laughed and let the dog down, so it came back to his lap.  "I still say you're too big for that, dog."  He got to work, petting it. "You need brushed."  He looked at Horatio.  "Invest in a lint roller, H.  I have one.  Calleigh's forever babysitting."

"They had some nice smaller ones," Horatio offered.

"I know," he groaned. "Don't remind me."  He looked at the dog, then at him.  "She thinks we're not home often enough to take care of one."

"Neither am I, but on the days when we're both gone, he'll probably have a doghouse under the porch.  With a tie out."

"Good idea.  Get him registered yet?"

"This afternoon. He's had all his shots.  He's a good dog."  The dog barked.  "Yes, you, Percival. You're a good dog."  It barked again and settled in to be adored, as was proper.  "Why else are you here?"

"I need suggestions for anniversary presents."

"They had some nice smaller dogs," Horatio offered again.

"Not funny."  He looked at the dog again, then back at him. "You think she'd agree?"

"If it could be litter trained."

"Some of the ones she sits are aggressive toward cats."  He let the dog down, watching as he sniffed around and went to mark his spot in the grass.  "No further," he called.

"Percival," Horatio said sharply and he came back. "Thank you, good boy."

"Either invisible fencing or obedience training, Horatio."

"I'm good with obedience training but Xander's taking him.  I've worked with dogs in training before."

"Good point.  You would have on the bomb squad."  He stood up.  "Want help at the pet store?"

"Sure."  He pulled the leash off the table and looked around the nearly empty house.  "The other place needs a porch."

"The other place has a porch."

"That's staying the bolt hole.  We're moving into another one in the same development."

"Ah, the other house?  That one could use a porch and I think he had plans to put one on."  He clipped on the leash and the dog bounced but followed them readily.  "How much stuff is left?"

"The table and chairs out there. My desk.  The couch and bed.  I like this bed better than I do the one there, which is sad since it's the same make and model as my old one."

"Xander has good tastes."

"He does."  He let the dog into the hummer and smiled at his neighbor, who came over to look.  "Xander begged well."

"I can see that.  He's adorable, Horatio.  Very cute."

"Very cuddly," Speed agreed.

"Speaking of cuddly, we'll miss you and the boy."  He smiled at that. "And your son too."  Horatio laughed at that.  "Is the other place safer?"  He nodded. "Is it nicer?"

"It's mostly second houses.  There's a few occupied by families, and a few that're occupied by older couples.  I'm still right on the ocean but it's got an extra two bedrooms and another bathroom for them."  She smiled at that.  "Xander even had it decorated the same way."

"That's wonderful, dear.  When's the final day?"

"Tomorrow.  I've arranged for someone to come get the final pieces of furniture then."  She nodded and smiled.  "Then I'm having a porch put on."  She giggled at that.  "We'll miss you and the rest of the ladies who spoil Xander so much as well."  She hugged him and patted him on the back. "We'll let you know what the address is once I figure it out."  She nodded, patting him on the cheek and heading back inside.  He looked at Speed then got in.  "She spoils Xander horribly."

"Everyone spoils Xander horribly.  Even the society matrons spoil Xander horribly."  They backed out of the driveway and headed for the pet store.  "What about the garage?"

"There?  We don't have one.  We do have a storage area though. It's off the basement.  It's already got shelves for boxes and things."  He turned onto the street once the kids had passed and headed off, letting the dog bark at the kids.  "Don't worry, the son will be with you soon.  He'll chase you around the house until you hide."

"Introduce them first, Horatio.  Let the dog sniff him and be petted before Eric takes off after him."

"We know Di got one too and their dog loves him. Knocked him down and licked his face clean for him."  Speed snickered at that.  "It was ice cream."

"Uh-huh."  He pointed.  "There's Yelina and Ray."  He waved and they followed. "I guess they're taking their huge ass dog to the store too."

"They probably have stuff they need. Like an outdoor tie line."

"Ray will never have to shoot another intruder again," Speed noted dryly. He looked back.  "That dog is huge."  Theirs got in his way, licking his nose.  "Thank you.  Lay down."  He turned back around, and the dog tried to sneak into his lap.  "What are you?"

"Part dobie, part boxer, and part australian shepard."

"So you're smart, protective, and bouncy.  Just like your other daddy.  Good job."

"I thought about naming him Xander since they'd probably always be together, but I didn't think he'd like that," Horatio joked.

"See, I would have.  He would've laughed and so would everyone else when they both came at the bellow."  Horatio chuckled at that.  "It would've been cute."

"Yes, but sometimes I only want one of them."  He pulled into the parking lot and got out, letting the dog out his door so he could catch the leash.  Yelina and Ray parked and got out, giving time for Horatio to lock up the hummer. He saw Frank and smirked.  "You too, Frank?"

"Wife's got a cat, Horatio.  It's time for more litter.  I don't know why I didn't toilet train the stupid thing."  He looked at the dogs, then at their owners.  "You two have fun with them.  Eric's inside with Di.  They're getting food and squeaky toys.  I was hoping it was for your new one but she said no."

"No, she got a very pretty lab/setter mix."

"Even more hair to shed," Speed said, shuddering.

"No wonder Horatio got a shorthair."  The dog was allowed closer and he let him sniff his hand, then scratched his ears.  The dog bounced up and licked his face each jump, making him laugh and squat down.  "Yeah, you're the boy's dog.  You're just like him.  What's your name?"

"Percival."

"Hey, Percy.  Welcome to the team and to the labs."  He got free of him and stepped out of range, getting the begging eyes.  "Don't do that. I've got to go home to the cat."  It got worse.  He gave him a few more head scratches. "He grows on ya."  He petted Yelina's dog too.  "What's your name?"

"Baby."  Ray Jr. smirked.  "This way I don't have to have one to get love and affection."

Horatio looked back at him. "I can't believe you can say that with a straight face, Ray."  He beamed at him.

"Xander has warped you, kiddo.  Pretty soon you'll quit being your uncle and turn into him."

"Did you see how hot Stella looked in that dress?" Ray shared.  "If I can get myself a hotttie like that, hell yeah I'm going to be as jumpy and pouncy as Xander is," he offered.  Frank just giggled as he walked off, shaking his head.

"Son, I doubt she would leave either of her men for you," Yelina sighed, putting an arm around his neck.  "Come on, our beast is hungry."  She gave the leash a gentle tug and the dog followed along, sniffing everything in the store, even the fish tanks and skirts of the girls in there.  One of them squealed. "Sorry, new dog."  She glared at him and he slunk back to her side.  "Thank you.  Do not help the boy pick up girls."  She walked off with him.

"Why not?" Ray called.  "Eric uses me.  He steals all the ones I like."

"He says the same thing about you, Ray," Horatio called from the petfood aisle.

The girl who squealed looked Ray over and winked, handing him her number.  "Call me, maybe we can take him for a walk in the park."  She winked and walked off with her purse-sized dog and the food she had come for.

Ray stuck it in his pocket with a grin for Speed, who just shook his head.  "I'm cute and cuddly, they like that," he defended.

"Tell me my son did not pick up someone," Yelina demanded, looking at him when they joined her and Horatio in the petfood.

"No, she handed over the number without being asked," Speed admitted.  Yelina groaned.  The dog leaned on her.  "It's good that you love her, Baby.  Don't worry, it'll be okay."

Di brought Eric over, and he let out an awed squeak at the size of Baby.  "Look, mommy, huge doggy!  Giant doggy!"

Di looked at her son.  "Go introduce yourself like you did to Clothes earlier."  She let him go and he walked over, looking at Yelina, who smiled at him.

"Go ahead, Eric.  This is Baby, he's our new dog."

"Baby," Eric cooed, moving closer. The dog sniffed him, then licked him.  Eric grinned and carefully hugged him.  The dog got free and licked him again.  "I run him?"

"Not tonight.  The next time we're together."  He beamed and petted the dog, getting an instant friend.  He felt a wet nose and looked in awe at the other dog.  Yelina smiled.  "That is your daddy's dog, Eric.  What's his name, Horatio?"

"Percival."

"'Val?" Eric asked.

Horatio smiled.  "Try Percy."

"Ercy?"

"Close enough."  He squatted down, pulling Eric closer. "Gently. This one pounces and runs."  Eric let the dog sniff him, then hugged him.  The dog barked and lapped him a lot, making him giggle.  "So, once we're in the new house, you and Percival can run together all you want, all right?"  Eric beamed and nodded.  "Good boy."  He kissed him on the head, avoiding the dog slobber. "You're a good boy, Eric."  His son beamed and bounded back to his mother's side, pulling her closer.  She met both dogs and Eric managed to get in a game of tag between the two dogs.

Horatio looked at the clerk coming over.  "Our son.  What sort of food do I get him?"

He pointed at something mid-range in price.  "That's excellent.  I feed it to my own dog.  Science Diet's great too but it's really expensive dogfood."  Horatio smiled and nodded at that, looking at his dog.  "If you have bugs, I wouldn't go for larger than the twenty pound bag.  You'll want to give him a cup of food twice a day."

"Okay."  He put one of those into the cart and looked at Yelina, who reached for the same but the clerk got her something different, handing it over.  "Better for him?"

"Dogs like that can eat too fast.  It can twist their stomachs.  That's why you want to have a raised food dish for them and you want to feed them that same twice a day."  She nodded, accepting that.  "Now, for him, I'd probably go a cup and a half to two.  Depending on how active he is."

"He went running with me today," Ray offered. "Then we lounged around."

"He's a great dane, they do that," the clerk admitted with a smile.  "Does anyone need any more help?"

"He's going to have a doghouse and tie out line for the days no one's going to be home."

"Sure.  We've got some great ones. Do you have a shady area to put it?"

"Soon it can go under the porch."  That got a smile and a nod, so he led them over there.  There were ones that had water misters for the middle of the day.  Ones that small fountains to keep the water cool and running for the dog.  Ones that were so fancy it wasn't funny.  "I thought a dog house was just a doghouse," he said, looking at them. He looked at his dog, who stared back at him.  "Like any of them, Percival?"

"If you're having a porch put on, they can add the doghouse underneath it as part of the structure," Yelina pointed out.  "Plus put in the tie-out line."  He nodded, accepting that.  "Though I do like the fountain idea.  Especially since the son should have been in school today."

"It was a day off, mom. One of the scheduled ones."  He looked at the clerk.  "She worries horribly."

"Mothers do that.  Mine did that until I got into college."  He pointed at one larger one.  "He'd probably need something that size.  It'd give him comfort and some leftover area for airflow.  I'd definitely put fresh water out with him."

"We have a good dish for that," Yelina promised, smiling at him.  She walked over to look at the house. "This is plastic."

"It is," he agreed.

"I think we need something that can't fall in on him."  She looked at the other larger one.  "This is metal, he'll roast even in the shade."  She frowned and Horatio pointed at a box.  "How big is that one?"

"About the same size.  It's not a popular model but it would do very well for your dog, ma'am.  It'd have shade and cool spots."

"I was thinking we could put it out by the tree, mom.  Facing toward the fence, that way he got the most shade but put his run line from there to the sitting area?" Ray offered.

"That would give him the most roaming room."  She nodded, getting the cabana-styled dog house and putting it into their carts.  "Raised food dishes?"  He nodded, leading them that way.  They were cute, and one even had a place to store excess food.  She got that one and Horatio got a pair of stainless steel ones, things that could be put into the dishwasher.  Plus a set for outside.  Ray grabbed some plastic ones.  "How about we put the water dish slightly into the ground, that way he can't upend it?" she suggested to her son, who smiled and nodded.  "Good.  Anything else?"

"Toys," Horatio assured her.  "Lots and lots of toys."

Speed came back with a small carry basket for each, putting them in there.  "Eric helped me."

"I'm hoping the son," Horatio noted.  Speed shook his head. "They're here?"  He nodded.  "Delko!"  Marisol came over and squealed like their son had, coming over to pet the dogs.  "That's Percival."

"Oooh, who's the cutest puppy then," she cooed, petting him.  He soaked it up like the Xanderish dog he was.  She smiled at him.  "Eric!  Come see Xander's new dog!"

"Coming."  He handed over packages of treats to both parents.  "Helps in training."  He patted the great dane, getting a tolerant moan for his ear scratches.  "I know, I'm used to smaller animals.  But you're loving."  The dog woofed quietly and went back to leaning against the new mommy.  Her son had to catch her but that was fine with him.  Eric came over to look at the other dog.  "Did Willow turn Xander into a dog?"

"No," Horatio said.  "But that comparison has been made."

"He crawled into my lap," Speed agreed.  "That's Percival."

"Hey, Percival."  The dog bounced up so he got down to play with him.  "Yeah, the boys are gonna have fun with you.  You're a good boy."  The dog barked and wagged his tail, looking playful.  He got into the cart, handing him the new chewbone, getting a happy dog.  "Keeps 'em from chewing shoes."

"Thank you," Horatio said with a smile.  "Anything else we need?"

"Tie out kits?" Yelina offered. "Or is that rope and two eye rings?"

"You can do either way," the clerk admitted.  "Just be aware if someone tries to break in or hurt him, yours will break the line no matter what you use, short of steel cable."

She nodded.  "I understand.  I'm a detective. If someone breaks in, I'll say he's a good boy."  That got a smile and they were led to the tieout kits and lines.  Horatio got a more formal kit, one that had a few configurations possible.

***

Xander came off the plane and burst into grins, running over and hugging Horatio. "I'm back."  He pulled back and smiled at him.  "Did you miss me?"

"Terribly," he agreed, walking him off.  He looked at the bag, then at his husband. "Only a little bit of shopping?"

"Well, yeah, that way I had clothes."  He linked their arms, looking up at him.

"It's fine, Xander.  I could use a cuddle.  You however have a surprise at home."

"Ooooh.  What?"

"You'll see."  He smiled and Xander smiled back, looking totally happy.  "I'm making pork chops for dinner."

"I could eat."

"I noticed that."  He pointed at the baggage claim and got a head shake.  "You're sure?"

"Yup, I only got this much suff."  They walked outside to the hummer, letting Xander get in and his bag be put in the back.  He sniffed.  "Who got a dog?"

"Di.  Also Yelina and Ray."  He smiled and leaned over, taking a good kiss.  "I missed you."

"I missed you too.  I never realized how big full size beds were."  He buckled up.  "Can I put a porch on the new place?"

"I've already arranged for one, including a section with retractable screens, dear."

"Thank you."  He hugged him again and took another kiss.  "Love you."

"I love you too, Xander.  Home?"  Xander nodded, letting him drive.  "Then we'll cuddle before dinner."  He pulled out of his parking spot and headed off, going to the house.  It was a longer drive and Xander was slowly shifting closer to him.  One hand landed on his thigh and stroked.  "When we get home," he ordered gently.  "That way I have time to feel too."  Xander nodded, leaving it at that level.  He pulled in and parked, letting the boy out of the hummer and inside.  Xander stared at his dog, then squealed and hugged him, getting down to play with him.  "His name's Percival."

"Awww, who's a good Percy," Xander cooed, playing with his ears.  The dog barked. "You, yes you are, you're a good boy, Percy."  They headed down into the living room, just two stairs but it was good to him.  The dog followed, bringing him a toy.  "Ooooh, fetch?"  He threw it and the dog ran, bringing it back proudly.  "Cool!"  He beamed at Horatio and played with the dog while his mate watched with fond amusement from the couch.  When they were both tired, they came to cuddle with him, Xander snuggled against his side, Percy the dog across their laps, tail slowly going.  "I love you even without the dog," he offered quietly, squeezing his hand.  "But thank you for the dog."

"You and he will be taking obedience classes together. I've worked with other trained dogs so I know some of the commands. You can show me the rest."

"Yes, sir."  He snuck a kiss and grinned.  "I love you."

"And I love you."  He kissed him for real.  The dog groaned and got off their lap when Xander shifted, letting Xander have his rightful spot as Horatio's lap snuggler.  "He kept me from working all night," he said quietly, stroking Xander's cheek. "He made sure the bed wasn't as cold as it could be, but he still wasn't you."  Xander smiled and gave him a long, deep kiss.  Which he needed desperately, more than air.  He needed his Xander kisses.  He shifted, letting Xander wiggle closer, taking control again.  "Xander," he moaned when they parted.

"Make me feel like I'm finally home?" he pleaded, moving to kiss his neck and lick the spot that he knew drove his mate into a claiming frenzy.  Horatio pulled him off it before he had sucked a hickey there.  "Please, Horatio?"

"You're sure?"

Xander kissed him again.  "Claim me?"

Horatio smiled.  "If that's what you want, Xander.  Of course I will."  Xander moaned as his shirt was taken off and tossed down the couch.  The dog claimed it as a pillow but they didn't care yet.  "We have the Chief's dinner tonight," he reminded him.  "Four hours from now."

"You can have me, have a nap, feed me, get us dressed and there in four hours," Xander promised.  "I'm not going to be that picky.  All I want is you proving to me that I'm home.  That I'm staying home."

"You're staying home," he promised.  "I won't have to send you away for your own safety again.  It's all set up in case of a bad case."  He took another kiss, pulling Xander's head down.  "What do you want, Xander?  You set the pace tonight."  Xander moaned.  "Anything you want, baby."

Xander pulled back to nip his lips, looking in his eyes.  "The cuffs?" he asked very quietly.  Horatio moaned at that.  "I know they're for special things, but...."

"You want me to take control?" Horatio suggested gently.  Xander nodded, leaning against his chest.  "I can understand that. Were you a good boy?"

"I flirted a bit at the event.  I gave Stella those diamonds.  I thinks she'd have approved."  Horatio smiled at that.  Xander had taken him to see his mentor while she was ill, and she had approved of him, calling him spunky.  So she'd probably adore Stella.  Xander nuzzled his neck, getting a gentle squeeze for it.  "I handed Lorel over to her stepmother.  That way I didn't have to practice the time honored tradition of trashing her rep for sleeping with two jockeys last month."  He nipped the spot he had been nuzzling, making Horatio groan.  "Please?"

"Bed," Horatio ordered.  Xander got up and scrambled that way.  Horatio calmed himself down.  If Xander wanted him in control, he'd be in control.   He stopped him from pulling out the cuffs. "You won't need those," he assured him.  "Strip."  He sat on the bed, watching his mate's indecision.  "Make it good, Xander."  That was all the encouragement he needed.  Xander gave him a shy grin and slowly started to move and sway for him, his clothing seeming to melt off him.  Horatio leaned back against the headboard, stroking himself gently while Xander proved how hot he could be.  When he was ready, his boy crawled up the bed to him, coming to tease him with fleeting, butterfly light kisses to his cock.  Horatio took his head in hand and made him do it for real, giving Xander what he wanted, him in control.  "Do it well and get a reward," he promised.  Xander looked up and slurped it as he pulled back, then moved back down, knowing Horatio liked him to do it noisy now and then.  The dog came in but he glared at him.  "Not now, Percival.  Go play."  The dog licked his hand.  He patted him on the head. "Let me play with the Xander master, you go play.  Be a good boy."  He went running out to play and nap in the living room.

Xander pulled off.  "I'll be a good daddy to him too, Horatio."

"I know you will, Xander."  He pulled him up to kiss him, one finger teasing the hole he would be possessing.  Xander moaned, tipping his head back so Horatio could get his neck.  "You really are desperate, aren't you?"  Xander nodded, whimpering. "On your back, spread out."  Xander quickly complied, telling him all he needed to know.  He needed to tease and tempt his boy into giving up to him.  He had been ignoring his boy again.  Xander squeaked when he took control of him, but that was all he got other than moans.  No matter what he did, he got moans.  Licking his special spots, tonguing his cock, eating him out until he was ready to be taken.  Horatio looked up.  "Xander, are you with me?"  Xander nodded, looking frantic.  "Let it go, Xander."

"I can't!" he complained.

Horatio pulled out the cuffs and his boy relaxed, going limp finally.  "That's fine.  We'll do it this way and teach you how to do it without them if you need it."

"I'd rather we use them when I need to let go."

"That's fine.  I can accept that. It'll be the symbol that one of us has to give up for the day."  He kissed him, then went back to his favorite kink, making Xander howl and beg for  mercy.  Xander yelped when he bit him on the sensitive inner cheek area but it was what he had wanted to hear.  Xander had been so tense before.  He slid into him, making Xander arch up.  "Around me, Xander."  His legs were wrapped around his waist, and that's what he wanted.  Total obedience and access.  Xander was like putty in his hands, letting him do whatever he wanted.  The only problem was the lag.  Xander was behind him now.  Horatio needed to come *soon*, Xander was barely starting onto the soon part.  So he did something he hadn't planned on doing, he leaned down to whisper in his ear.  "Some day, you'll need more than this.  Then what will I do, Xander?  Use the toy that Eric got you to tease you about?"  Xander's stomach tensed and his rhythm faltered.  "Or maybe something *bigger* is what you'll need then?  Or maybe fun spankings?  Nothing bad but just enough to get you hot?  Maybe even while I've got you over my lap for an enema?  Because you know I'll want you clean that day, especially if I have to use my hand."  Xander came with a moan and Horatio smirked, kissing him, allowing himself to go over.  When he had calmed himself down, he released his boy, rubbing his wrists.  "Do you want to try that, Xander?" he asked, pulling him into his arms.

"Maybe try it sometime, but not the spanking part. I don't want spankings."  He stroked a finger up the middle of Horatio's chest before looking at him. "I'm curious more than desperately thinking about it."

"I figured you were.  I saw that one video that seems to have become unhidden."

"You're the one who moved everything.  You didn't find the others?"

"I did.  I ignored most of them.  That one nearly bit me when it fell out of my sock drawer."  Xander blushed.  "I know, you were thinking about it and letting me know you were thinking."  He took another kiss.  "We'll talk about this tonight, after the dinner, all right?"  Xander nodded, smiling at him.  "Do I really have to go?"

"Yup, I was ordered to make sure you went and looked good."  He stroked his hand up Horatio's chest, playing with the hair there.  "I think he's got another surprise planned but I don't know what."

"His last one was stunning," Horatio said, smiling at him.  He took a gentle kiss.  "Will that hold you through dinner?"

"Not the kiss, but the rest."

"Good, then we'll talk about the rest after dinner and a bit of dancing."  He stopped Xander from moving.  "Someone suggested to me that you might like to take some riding lessons, Xander.  Is that true?"  Xander looked at him, eyes wide.  "I've done some fun riding on the past but nothing like lessons. If you did, would you go with me?"  Xander squealed and hugged him, bouncing up and down on the bed.

"I love you!"

"I love you too," he assured him, stroking over his back.  The dog came back.  "We're done."  He patted the bed and the dog hopped up to lick both their faces, then sniff them.  Xander grinned and played with the dog, wrestling with him lightly, getting some happy barks and a few playful growls from the boy and the dog.  Horatio gave them a fond look.  "We need to shower and eat, Xander."  Xander nodded, kissing the dog on the nose. "You start classes with him in three days."

"Yes, Horatio."  He hauled his mate up and into the bathroom, back to the bouncy, happy boy he usually was. Horatio let Xander wash him while he got his mate's body clean, engaging in some quick rubbing off when they were soap covered.  Then they had to get clean again.  Horatio got out and dried them off, then headed to get the food ready.  "What're we having?"

"Pork chops.  The stuffed ones you like so much."  The boy followed him out, still naked.  Horatio was hugged from behind. "Go put on boxers, Xander.  We'll dress after we eat since the dinner won't be hardly anything."

"Yes, dear."  He went to find a pair of boxers and to play with the dog some more.

Eric knocked before walking in. "You're going to be late."

"No we're not.  It doesn't start until eight, Eric."

"It's nearly seven, Horatio, and it's on the other side of the city with four wrecks in the way."  He came into the kitchen, sniffing the pork chops.  "Ah, you decided to eat first."

Horatio looked at him. "I'd rather not have to eat my husband during the event."  Xander blushed at that as he came back. "My tux is in the closet?"  Xander nodded.  He looked at Eric, who had cleaned up very nicely.  "Good job, but you've got dog fur."

"I'll lint roll before I walk inside."  He went to help Xander.  He saw him laying out the less stunning one.  "No, wear the other one."

"It's Horatio's night, I'll fade into the background," Xander told him, grinning at him.  "I stopped Lorel."

"Good, what about the other woman?"

"Margaret hasn't come near me."

"I meant the drunk brat that was telling a reporter earlier on ET that you were cute and she wanted your ass."

"Who?" Horatio asked as he walked in.

"One of the local heiresses, one of the drunken brats," Eric told him, going to find one of the entertainment shows and put it on.  "Her," he said, finding a story being done on her latest stunt.

Xander looked.  "I don't even know her."  He shrugged.  "She can want, I'm perfectly fine with her wanting, but she's not getting it.  Even if I do have to tattoo Horatio's name back there."

"No tattoos, Xander."  He took a kiss.  "It's almost ready, we'll have to eat quickly."  Xander nodded, going back to laying everything out.  He went to pull the pork chops off the stove and dish them up, bringing Xander and the dog back. "You do not beg," he reminded him.

"Come here, Percival," Eric called, waving his toy.  The dog looked from the food to the toy, then back at the food, staying there.  He whimpered at the new master but Horatio stopped Xander from giving him a treat, getting stereo begging looks.  Eric giggled.  "Good thing they're both going to obedience school, H."

"Xander already knows better.  Xander."  Xander relented and gave him a grin but only petted the dog, letting him lick his fingers.  He went to play with Eric then.  "Thank you.  Wash those."  Xander went to do that then came back to finish eating so they could get dressed. Eric grinned at him. "It's fine."

"I'm sure it is, I'm wondering why the whole lab has to be there tonight."

"Xander thinks he's making another announcement besides that he's retiring," Horatio told him.

"Could be."  He went back to playing tug of war with the dog, getting happy puppy noises.  Xander headed into the bedroom to clean his hands and face, do his teeth, then get dressed.  Horatio soon followed, coming out dressed and ready.  "You two look so much better than I do."

"That's the beauty of buying instead of renting," Xander reminded him dryly.  "It's tailored to fit us."  He took the keys from Eric's hand and petted the dog.  "Be a good boy and we'll be back in a few hours.  You watch the house."  The dog barked and went to lay on the couch.

Eric grinned.  "You're good."  They left together, Eric heading to his car.  Horatio opened the back door of the hummer. "You sure?"

"I am."  He got in to drive, letting Xander get in the front seat.  Eric got into the back and buckled up.  "Where are the wrecks?"

"Usual spots.  Flagler, causeway. Stadium."

"So we'll take the back roads through the worse part of town," Xander said with a small shrug.  Horatio nodded, backing down the driveway and heading off at a tangent to hit the street they needed.  No one got in the way of the PD hummers, not even down in the poorer sections of town.  They got there with fifteen minutes to spare, finding the valet parking was the only option.  Xander tipped the valet and looked him over. "It had better be spotless and undinged, he's possessive of his hummer."  The guy nodded, carefully going to park it instead of stealing it.  He smiled at the officer standing there.  "Watching what they boost?"  He nodded, smirking at him.  "Cool.  Which ballroom?"

"Three, sir."  He opened the door for them.  "Easiest job tonight."

"Trade ya," Eric offered.

"I look crappy in a tux, sir."

Eric grinned.  "Anyone does next to those two."  He walked in behind them, watching the chief light up when he saw them.  "I told you I'd get them," he reminded him.

"You did and I appreciate this so much, Detective Delko."  He shook Horatio's hand.  "Thank you for honoring my wishes tonight, Horatio."

"Not a problem, sir."

"Good man.  Inside, you're at the table with most of your lab.  Most of them are already here, but Calleigh."

Xander opened his phone.  "Let me guess, you were in a wreck?"  He smirked.  "If we have to come and quit having sex you have to come," he ordered. "Look in your closet, I helped Dad shop for you, Calleigh.  Now, put it on and get here!"  He hung up.  "She's on her way once she slips into something less comfortable."  He took his mate's arm and walked him inside to their table, Eric behind them.  "Morning all."

"Awww, Xander.  You're back," Alexx said happily, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "I bet you got a shock when you came home."

"I did, Percy is a very good dog.  Didn't even try to get my cuddles."  He smiled as Horatio helped him sit then sat beside him. "Calleigh's coming."

Speed snickered.  "Are you sure?"

"I told her if I had to quit having sex, she had to get here and quit eating chocolate.  I pointed out we put something in her closet for her."  Speed smirked at that.  He smiled at Marisol.  "Precious, I missed you while I was gone."  He kissed her on the cheek. "You look wonderful."

"I had Di tailor it for me," she admitted, sitting down next to her brother.  "So, what is going on tonight?"

"The Chief's retiring," Speed told her.  "He ordered the whole lab to show up."  He pointed at the table of lab techs.  "Even them."  She looked at her brother.  "He got sent to make sure the top couple made it."

Marisol giggled. "Did you catch them going at it?"

"No, they were having dinner.  Which is why I suggested you have more than the salad earlier."  Calleigh walked in and they all stood up, smiling at her. "You look nice."

"Thank you.  I hate you, Xander."

"I don't care, Calleigh.  We were all ordered.  If I had to quit having sex, you had to quit having ice cream for dinner."  He helped her into her seat then sat down again.  "Are we all here?" he asked, looking around.  "No Frank?"

"Late call.  Last body.  Yelina threw a fit," Speed offered.  "She's on her way in with Ray Jr."  Horatio frowned.  "He said so, don't ask us."

"Which means it probably impacts the lab," Marisol said thoughtfully, looking at Horatio. "You're not retiring, right?"

"No, not for at least another three years."  He looked at Xander.  "Then we'll talk about it."

"I'm good with you going as long as you want, as long as you don't forget you have me."

"I couldn't forget I have you," he reminded him, taking his hand to hold.  Xander relaxed again.  "It's all right."

"I'm wondering what the big thing is," he admitted.

"Me as well.  We'll know in about an hour."  Their dinners were brought out, and it was nicer than usual but still miniscule portions.  Xander slipped half his to Marisol's plate with a wink. She rolled her eyes but took it.  Alexx and Speed added their vegetables to it too.

"I'm fine."

"Yes, you are," Eric agreed. "Eat it anyway for my future niece."  She sighed and ate the food as ordered.

"You knew we were gonna fuss once it happened," Speed reminded her.

"I did, I didn't realize it would be this bad."

Xander leaned over to whisper in her ear, getting a giggle and a nod.  "Good girls get rewarded, Marisol."

"Yes, Xander."  She smiled at Horatio. "He's threatening to have me spoiled and pampered."

"I know he is.  He's done the same to me before."  He smiled and she went back to eating.  Horatio looked over at his lab techs, getting up to talk to them. "Ladies and gentlemen, how are we tonight?"

"Worried sick he's going to close the lab on us," his DNA tech offered.

"He wouldn't do that," Horatio promised, patting her on the shoulder.  "Don't worry about it.  Try to have fun and survive on the dinner."  That got some smiles.

"Horatio, can I borrow your phone? I need to check on my kids," one of the other techs asked.  "Mine's dead."  He handed his over. "Thank you."

Natalia tugged on Horatio's sleeve.  "I saw the ET article.  Should I worry about DNA being discovered?"

"No, he doesn't have a clue who she is.  Eric told us tonight."

She smiled.  "Good luck with that."

"I'm going to the next few with him," Horatio assured her gently.  He took his phone back.  "Everyone all right?"

"My husband is wondering how the babysitter puts up with them all day."

"She has more patience and didn't give them chocolate for dinner?" Natalia offered.  The other woman nodded and smiled.  "That's what I thought."

"Yeah, it's his own fault."  She looked Horatio over.  "I heard about the convention tux, Horatio.  Looking good, boss."  He blushed and went back to his table, making the ladies giggle and the few guys wonder what they were giggling about.

Tyler, their AV tech, looked at them.  "Giggling is so beneath you ladies."

"No it's not," Natalia offered with a grin.  "He does look good, and notice how Xander dressed to accent his hotness?  He's the crown jewel at that table.  Ah, there's Yelina and Ray Jr. finally."  They came over and took their seats with the rest of the lab.  "Ray Jr. looks much older than sixteen."

"Doesn't he though?" the mother agreed.  "My son had better not look like that.  I'll be a grandmother way too early."  That got some more giggles.

"Not with the sex talk Xander gave him," Tyler assured them all.  He sipped his water at the renewed giggles.  "Besides, he's got society hotties after him now.  He's got to look good."

"He does," Natalia promised, looking that way again.  "It looks like Xander struck in Yelina's and Calleigh's dresses.  Subtle and dark.  Accenting Horatio."  She got up and walked over there.  "Yelina, I *love* that dress. Who did it?"

"Xander."  She shrugged.  "It didn't even have a tag."

"Di's girlfriend two girls ago," Xander told her.  "The Spanish honey with the really thick accent and honey colored hair."

"Oh, her. I liked her stuff."  She kissed him and Ray Jr. on the cheek. "Save me dances?"  They nodded, smiling at her.  "Thanks, boys."  She went back to their seat, telling the other ladies.  She wasn't cheap but she was definitely good at dressing people up.

Ray Jr. looked at Xander.  "Who did Stella's dress?"

"Lisa."

"Oooooh," Ray moaned.  "If and when Mom gets remarried, she can do her dress.  Stella looked *fantastic* in that dress."

"Hmm, and her boys appreciated it later from what Don said about her being a little slower the next day," Xander agreed happily.

"Who gave you those diamonds?" Calleigh asked.

"The matron who sponsored me," Xander admitted.  "She left them to me so I could get some charming young thing to keep me grounded and out of trouble.  She met Horatio and thought he was spunky and good for me but he knew I needed a girlfriend now and then on my arm.  Speaking of, I want to know about this society ho who wants me.  First I heard of it was Eric today."

Speed coughed and handed over the clippings.  "I figured someone would ask you."  Alexx handed over hers.  Ray Jr. handed over a society guidebook, with a paper paperclipped.  "You came prepared."

"Hell yes.  I ran into the drunk hottie last week.  She was so drunk she couldn't tell us apart."  Xander snorted at that, going through them.  "Her daddy's in plastics or something.  Big on Dow's board, Xan."

"Wonderful.  It's obvious I can't insert a joke here about implants being free in that outfit."  He kept going, ending on the guide.  He frowned.  "She's Thelina's sister?"

"Younger.  She just came out," Ray agreed, shrugging.  "Going on the LA crew's plan."

"Pity.  Her sister's a sweetheart."  He got into his phone, accessing the blackberry feature to write her an email.  He smiled when he finished it, counting words, and nodded, sending it.  He got back a 'who are you' message.  He typed that in again.  Her 'ooh, I remember you, you run the GAY charity' made him smirk.  Her next one of 'I'll point out you're married to your husband' got a simple 'thank you' and he logged off, putting it back into his pocket.  "Sorry, went to her sister.  She's reminding her I'm married to my husband and that I'm gay."

"Plenty of faghags in society since it's inception," Alexx said blandly.  "It's a good cover when you're gay yourself."

"She sleeps with way too many guys to be bi," Ray told her.  He sipped his water and looked up as the Chief came up to the microphone. "Hey, we're running early tonight."  His mother swatted him.  "Sorry, mom.  Dancing after this?"

"We'll see, son."

He grinned.  "It'll keep me out of trouble."

"That might be nice."

The Chief smiled at his people.  "I'm a bit early tonight but better to be early than late," he announced.  "Go ahead and finish eating while I talk. I realize some of you are hungry."  He smiled at the room at large.  "Let me tell you that we have had a wonderful year this year.  The PD has been more productive than ever.  Our Crime lab has caught more criminals than ever.  Our patrol officers have gotten more arrests and convictions than they have the last few years running.  We have had a wonderful year and you deserve a hand."  He clapped and the others followed.  "I almost must announce that I am retiring in three months' time."  That got a few boos from one of the back tables.  "Now, now.  Every  young man has to spend some time with their wife making her feel spoiled.  She wants to go on a few cruises and I agreed.  I've given the department twenty-five mostly wonderful years.  So at this time I'm going to introduce my replacement, Chief Broussard."  That got a lot of claps, he was a popular chief.  He smiled to see most of the lab doing it as well.  "Chief, if you'd come here so the ones who don't know you can get used to your smiling face?"

He walked up to the dias.  "I won't always be smiling when you see me, but I do have hopes that it will be the majority of the times that you see me," he announced.  He smiled at everyone, especially Horatio's table.  "Let me assure you I want a smooth transition and especially for most everything to stay the same.  This department has proven how they work best and I'm not interested in changing that.  You'll let me know what needs to be changed and I'll look into it.  But for now, everything will stay the same and hopefully we'll continue in this trend of excellence."  That got some better applause.  He smiled at them, letting the press people in there take his picture.

"Now, onto the other news," the old chief offered. "It is my great pleasure to honor some of our best tonight.  Among them, is the man who is responsible for many arrests and convictions.  He's also responsible for many people needing blood pressure medicine, but you can't get a high solve and arrest rate like his without cracking a few egos and skulls.  So tonight, I did make sure the *entire* crime lab came so we could honor them, and especially their leader, Lieutenant Horatio Caine.  Or should I say Captain Horatio Caine."  Horatio just gaped at him, then wiped his mouth off and walked up there.  "Your dedication is now an urban legend among the rookies, Horatio.  Not only as a warning to them not to touch the hummers, but also as an inspiration.  Otherwise we wouldn't have people like Detective Wolfe, who seems to be missing?"

"His wife's back in preterm labor," he said quietly.

"Ah, then he's excused and I'll stop by there to give him his new badge and ID card personally later."  He handed Horatio his certificate and new ID card.  "Congratulations, Horatio."

"Always happy to serve, sir."  He went back to the table, smiling at the applause his people were giving him.

The Chief smiled.  "He's even modest.  I like that.  He didn't try to take the microphone away from me."  That got a few giggles and he ignored Xander kissing him.  "As well as Horatio, we also honor a few others tonight.   Let's see, here in front of me, I have Detective Third Grade Salas's ID card.  Yelina?"  She walked up there to applause.  "It's about time."  She shook his hand and smiled, pinching him on the cheek.  "I know, I'm nearly as young as your son, too young to retire," he joked.

"Not quite that young, but definitely too young to retire."  She went back to her seat, smiling at her son, who hugged her.

"Ah, and here's more," he agreed, pulling them and turning in the other direction.  "The newly made Detective Stephen Bores?"  He squealed and jumped up to get his new badge and certificate.

***

Xander smiled at Horatio as they walked off the floor, heading out to the hummer.  Eric was shadowing them and got into the back, shrinking down so they could forget he was there. "That was sweet of him."

"It was," Horatio agreed, smiling back at Eric. "Who knew?"

"We think Speed figured it out, H.  We're not sure otherwise.  We thought he only wanted to make sure we supported the new guy."

"When we talked at some event last week, he did say that Brousard thinks he spoils you guys horribly but he told him why and that your numbers speak for yourself," Xander offered.  He took Horatio's hand.  "It sounds like we have some celebrating to do tonight."  He stole a kiss, getting a smile back.  "Let's hope the dog hasn't destroyed the house."

"You can take him out to the yard for a few minutes then we'll celebrate," Horatio promised, giving him the look.  Xander swallowed, he had asked for it.  Horatio smirked and backed out of the parking spot heading for their house.  He took the safer way, glancing back at Eric.  "Did you want to pick up your car tonight or tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow's good."  He yawned.  "You're going right past my house."  Horatio nodded, pulling into his building and letting him out.

"Night, all.  See you in the morning, Captain."  He smirked as he shut the back door and headed inside.

"I'm going to get teased all day tomorrow," Horatio complained.

"But you deserve it, Horatio."  Xander slid a hand up his thigh.  "Home, babe.  I want to check the dog and then be reminded that I'm home.  You can even bite me if I make bad Star Trek jokes."

"Oh, I will be."  He smiled, taking them home.  The guard on the gate nodded.  "Eric will be picking his car up in the morning."

"That's fine, Lieutenant."

"Captain," Xander corrected with a smile. "He got promoted tonight."

"Congratulations, Captain.  Have a nice night."  He let them in, making a note about their person coming to pick up his car.

Horatio parked and they walked inside.  Xander took the dog out into the backyard to use the bushes, then came back and got him settled in for the night.  Xander sank down into Horatio's lap, kissing him gently.  "Am I a good boy?"

"You've been a very good boy," he promised, kissing him gently.  "You didn't even get in trouble for smarting off to the officer who sneered and said something about us dancing.  I'm very proud of you not escalating that."  He took another kiss, using his free hand to undo the bowtie.  Then his own.  Xander sighed in relief, nuzzling his throat.  Horatio tipped his head back, getting him some room, for now.  Horatio stroked up Xander's back and helped him out of his jacket.  It got tossed onto the couch beside them.  Then the shirt was unbuttoned.  He ran his hand over his property, making Xander relax against him.  "Are you mine tonight?"

"All yours.  I've been a good boy."

"You have been.  That means we both get rewarded."  He pushed Xander off him and stood up, walking him into the bathroom.  "Strip."  Xander stripped off his clothes, giving him a shy look.  Horatio arranged things and put a towel across his lap. "Down."  Xander laid across his lap, relaxing as his mate inserted the small tube and turned back on the water.  "It's only plain water tonight," he soothed, stroking his back as the water worked.  When he could feel the belly across his lap distending, he turned the water off and helped Xander up, then watched him let it out again, stroking over him.  Xander lipped his belt, getting a nod.  It wasn't more than a gentle distraction for what was going on, but it did stop him from doing anything else.  Horatio backed away.  "Finish up.  We're doing two tonight, Xander."  He pouted but did that and cleaned himself up, then got back onto his mate's lap to let him do a second one.  Horatio smiled, it was good when he got obedience.  When he was done this time, he got them both into the shower and got his lover cleaned up, making sure every inch of him got some of his attention.  Xander was already hard and ready for him but Horatio had plans.  He cleaned himself up and got them out so Xander could dry them off.  It was his turn since Horatio had gotten them both earlier.

"Bed," he ordered.   Xander walked out there and laid down, giving him a happy grin.  Horatio arranged his arms over his head.  "Stay like that.  Do not move," he ordered quietly, leaning down to kiss him.  Xander moaned and started to move so Horatio pulled back.  "I told you not to move."  Xander put his arms back in place.  That got a smile.  "Now, do not move."  He got to work teasing his husband's body, making him wiggle but his arms tried to stay in place.  Xander yelped and arched up, and his arms came down so he could cover the newly bitten spot.  Horatio pulled back, giving him two minutes time out this time.  Xander pouted at him.  "I told you not to move."

"You made me move."

"You wanted me in control."  Xander put his arms back up there and Horatio laved the spot he had bitten, making Xander happier again.  He moved down to his feet, massaging them gently.  Xander tried to pull away but Horatio kept a firm hold.  "No, this is mine too.  I want to play with it."

"That's nasty."

"I washed it."

"So?  It's still a foot."

"Xander."  Xander quit complaining and let him massage the soles of his feet, making him a happy boy eventually.  "Don't you let people who give you massages do your feet?"  Xander shook his head.  "Why not?"

"I don't want to swap foot germs with anyone."

"They wash and sanitize their hands," Horatio reminded him.

"It's still feet."

"Fine."  He moved up, stroking his ankles.  Xander shivered but it wasn't in a good way.  Horatio got out the sanitizing gel from his bedside table and used it, making his husband happy. "You let me tongue you anywhere I want but your toes?"  Xander nodded.  "You're strange."

"You said everyone had quirks."

"I did," he agreed, getting back to work.  Xander was entirely too lucid.  He'd have to fix that for him.  He got back to work driving Xander insane, weathering his staring until he found a spot he hadn't found before, which made Xander swear and tense up.  He smirked and went back to it, earning a slight wiggle.  He shifted higher between the thighs and Xander's breathing shifted into a faster pant.  "Hmm, not quite yet."

"Horatio!"

"Xander."  Xander went limp and let him do whatever he wanted again.  "I told you the cuffs weren't necessary," he reminded him.

"It gives me something to strain against."

"Makes you feel like the captured prince?"

"Well, no, but it gives me something to ground me."

Horatio laid beside him, teasingly drawing his fingers across the taut stomach.  "You don't need grounded.  I have you, Xander.  I will not let you fall."  Xander looked at him.  "I won't.  I won't lose you.  You're staying right there with me.  Now, relax.  Let your mind *go*.  You're thinking too much and I might have to do something shocking to break it.  Once I do that, I can't really go back.  You'll never be quite the same."  Xander shivered and made sure his hands were gripped together, trusting him enough to close his eyes.  "Good boy."  He leaned closer to whisper in his ear.  "How should I teach you this important lesson in trust, Xander?"  Xander shivered.  "Drop into your mind.  I have you.  All you have to do is enjoy it."  Xander relaxed, going limp on the bed.  "Just like that.  Keep going.  Just a bit further into your mind.  All I want you to remember is that I have you and you're mine.  That I'm the one with your life and that makes you special."

Xander swallowed and nodded.  "Good boy.  Lock on those thoughts and let it go."  He went back to drawing designs, watching as Xander did as ordered.  It wasn't often that Xander needed it, but now and then he needed to be reminded that he was special, loved, and held.  Xander shifted slightly, arching into his fingers.  "Good boy."  He kissed him and Xander's arm came up.  "Ah!" he said quietly.  He pulled away, timing it.  Three minutes got whimpers but Xander's hands were put back.  "Good boy."  He went back to prove to Xander that he was adored and his only one.  By the time he made it back to his cock, Xander was whimpering in pleasure.  He smiled and went to indulge him, letting him get nearly there, then he pulled off to grab the lube, making Xander whimper in other ways and arch up.  "I've got you, Xander.  I'm only getting the lube."

"Don't need it."

"You do need it.  I won't take you dry."  He slicked him up gently and slowly.  "Hands," he ordered, sitting back on his heels.  It gave him a chance to calm himself down again and to make Xander back down from his peak, plus to remind him.  When four minutes were done he went back to preparing him, making Xander arch up and make begging noises.  He smiled and kissed him, letting his fingers tease.  "Relax.  It'll be good."  Xander flipped over and Horatio moaned.  They didn't do it often in this position, he tended to lose control.  "Are you sure?"  Xander nodded, and he was being good, his hands were in the same place.  Horatio slicked himself up and slid inside slowly, making Xander try to push back.  Horatio held his hips, stopping where he was.  "You wanted me in control and to claim you," he reminded him.  Xander nodded, going back to his beta role.  Horatio smiled and finished sliding in, making it all the way in with one smooth glide.  Xander wiggled a bit when he didn't move.  "Pushy," he teased.

Xander nodded.  "I know I am."

"I like that about you," Horatio reminded him, pulling back to gently push back in.  Xander moaned and spread his legs apart, bracing himself for something harder.  Horatio wasn't ready for that.  He was trying to keep control.  He pushed in all the way and leaned down.  "I didn't send you away as punishment, Xander.  You know that, right?"  Xander looked back at him, shaking his head.  "I didn't. I sent you away because I wanted you safe. He went after Calleigh even though she wasn't even on the case," he said quietly.  "He went after Eric's father for the same reason.  I wasn't going to take the chance of them coming after you."  He stroked his hair off his face.  "I can't stand losing you.  If Ryan could have, you'd have went with Willow and Toddy, plus our son.  Di wouldn't let me send him with you and Ryan wasn't allowed to let her fly."  He smoothed through the hair again, getting a more understanding look. "I can't stand to have you hurt, Xander.  That's why I sent you to Don."

"I'm sorry."

"I should have told you, been more honest, but I didn't want you to worry.  I wanted you to have a less stressful time, maybe even a vacation where you and Don had fun.  I didn't want you to mope for the week you were up there. Don told me about you not even wanting ice cream.  I'm sorry."

"I knew it was for my own good but I don't have to go, Horatio.  I can take care of myself."

"I don't want you to ever have the nightmares when you have to shoot someone to protect yourself and your son," Horatio said in a near-whisper.  "I want you to stay pure from that, Xander.  I never want it to come down to you killing a person."  Xander nodded, going limp under him again.  "I'm sorry I didn't explain it better."

"I understand.  Thank you, Horatio."

"You're welcome."  He took a kiss.  "You moped up there and I decided we should go back to the early days, when we were dating.  Dinners, playing, dancing.  I missed that when I was working so much."  Xander wiggled and he smiled.  "Want more?"

"Hold me?"  Horatio wrapped him in his arms, letting them fall onto their sides.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  This is what I want, Xander.  I want to share the tender moments, not just the ones where you have to defend yourself and not just the money stuff. I want more than the cuddling after work and I never want to have another day when you can't cuddle me."  Xander wiggled, earning a chuckle.  "You wanton slut," he teased.

"Am not a slut.  I don't sleep around," he reminded him.

"That's right, you don't.  You're mine and only mine."  He pulled back and thrust back in harder, kissing the back of Xander's neck, sucking a small mark on it while he rode him as hard as he could.  Xander wiggled free and got back onto his knees.  It was a sign he was forgiven and Xander needed him.  He moved back behind him and pushed back in, taking him harder, like they both wanted.  That was the danger of reclaiming his husband, the bite that appeared on his shoulder.  Not that Xander minded, he howled in pleasure and bucked back against him.  "You're home now," he reminded him.

"Home.  Yours," Xander panted, arching his back up instead of down. Horatio pushed forward harder, making him grab the headboard.  "Horatio!"

"Yours," he agreed, sucking on his neck again.  "All yours."  He slammed in and Xander came, he could feel him come.  It was good.  It wasn't enough yet but it was good.  He flipped his mate over, taking him that way, staring down at him.  "Hands up."  Xander put his hands back over his head, linking his hands together.  "Good boy."  He rode him harder, letting his sweat drip down to scent him as his.  Horatio felt his control snap but Xander enjoyed it.  He growled and went harder and faster, leaning down to posses his mouth then his throat.  Xander tipped his head back, staying submissive until he could get back in control.  He could feel the hyena answering his challenge but he knew who he belonged to.  Horatio came, howling a roar of pleasure into the still house.  Their dog barked but that was fine.  He collapsed and his mate's hands moved, stroking through his sweaty hair, down his back, his arms, making him a happier alpha male.

"Shh, I've got you.  I'm home.  I'm yours.  No one touched me.  Sniff me, make sure of it, Horatio," he soothed.  Horatio lifted his head, looking at him, getting a grin.  "You back?"  Horatio nodded silently.  "Can I nip you?"   Horatio tipped his head to the side, giving him total access.  Xander leaned up and sucked his mark there, making Horatio moan and grab him around the back to hold him closer.  Xander licked over it once he tasted blood, cleaning him up.  "There, you're mine and I'm yours."  He kissed him.

"You drew blood?"  Xander let him see the back of his shoulder, earning a small chuckle. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not and it's not the first time.  I don't mind the occasional bite during reclaiming me."  He took another kiss, laying Horatio with him, holding him close, soothing him to sleep.  "I needed that."

"We both needed that."  He took a regular kiss, getting a smile afterward.  "Are you all right?"

"Uh-huh.  But you have to change the bed in the morning."

"Deal.  But only if you make coffee."

"Yes, Captain.  I'll prepare the replicator to make you your favorite coffee."  Horatio poked him, chuckling at the joke.  "Sorry, couldn't resist.  But I gotta say, you're hotter than Picard, a better captain than Janeway, and even Kirk doesn't have the hotty glow that you do."  Horatio moaned at that.  "Even when he was surrounded by easy girls, he was just a frat boy compared to your studliness and suave nature.  Not even Bond can draw in people like you."  Horatio did smile at that, taking a kiss.  "Can I say I'm jealous? I draw people based on my body and moves. You draw them in just with a look.  I'm jealous of that skill."

"All you had to do was look at me and I was hooked, that makes yours more powerful."  He gave him another kiss. "I'm still in awe about how you're at ease with all the idly rich brats that do nothing all day but buff their nails.  I'd want to make them get a life."

"They're like that one guy's bugs.  They're fascinating to watch but I don't want them to touch me."  Horatio laughed and cuddled him.  "I still say you're hotter."

"With age you can attain my levels."

"For that, I might even unthaw the pastry in the freezer."

"I ate them two days ago for dinner."

"Okay, then I'll try to scramble eggs."

"Just make the coffee, Xander.  Please don't cook for me."  Xander poked him with a huff, but he was smiling.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  It's the truth anyway."  He snuck a kiss and took his rightful position on top of Horatio's chest and left arm, getting held and cuddled.  "I'm really home."

"You're really home.  We'll be able to tell by the electric bill.  I only took cold showers while you were gone and you make me take a lot of warm ones."  Xander blushed at that, hiding his face.  "I did.  I had one each and every night."

"You could have pleasured yourself."

"It was too hard not to let you do it."  Xander took a desperate kiss.  "Xander, I'm still twenty years older than you.  I need more recovery time."  Xander went down to use a baby wipe on him, then lick him until he came back up and got off in his mouth.  It would give him happy, peaceful dreams for the first time in a week.  Xander took his traditional spot again, getting comfortable and warm for the first night in a week.

The dog looked, then hopped up to sleep behind the new master's back.  He was a good master and he would protect him, even if the bed did smell like a bitch in heat.

***

Xander woke up in the morning and yawned, looking at the nearly empty spot beside him.  "Hey, Percy."  He patted his chest and the dog scooted over, letting him get his morning cuddles.  "Did he go to work already?"  The dog barked. "Okay.  Let's get cleaned up and then we'll feed you."  He got up, taking the dog into the shower with him, literally since he climbed in.  He laughed, cleaning them both up, then he dried them off and got them ready for breakfast. He put on a pair of running shorts and his sneakers, sitting down to eat with his poor puppy.  There was a note in the middle of the table so he read it, smiling at the 'early case, come for lunch' message.  "We'll go see him for lunch.  Yes we will."  He finished his usual toast and eggs, plus soda, then found his leash.  "Wanna go for a run with the daddy?"  The dog bounced around and jumped around, letting him take him out to the car.

The dog hopped into the front seat and settled in to look out the windows.  "Good boy."  He started the car and backed out, taking him to the park to run with him.  "Okay, we'll go for a run and then you can water the bushes while I calm down, all right?"  The dog barked, letting his leash be put on before they exited the car.  Xander stretched while Percival marked his territory, then he started off slowly, making sure the dog could keep up.  He was doing okay so he went up to his normal running speed, making the dog pant and jog with him. He grinned at him.  "Are you a happy puppy?" he panted.  They went around a curve and had to dodge two officers and under, through, and around the crime scene, just on the edge.  "Put markers out up the path, this is jogging hours!" he called.

"Yeah," Eric called, watching them run off.  He shook his head.  "Only got the corner," he called.  He looked at the officers.  "That's not a bad idea."  Two of them went to do that.  "Thank you!  Before someone runs through the *center* of it."  He got back to work, looking at Speed.  "At least he only got the corner."

"True.  That was our safety cushion.  Move it back some."  Eric went to do that while Speed went back to his searching for clues.

Xander ended his run at the five mile mark, bending down to pant, looking at his dog.  "You good?"  He got a tired bark.  "Me too."  He walked him over to the nearest bench and sat down, relaxing.  The dog curled up beside him, letting him pet his ears.  "We did good, Percival."  He got a tired bark.  "Yeah, I'm exhausted too."  He yawned.  He looked around, spotting the reporter walking his way.  He moaned and leaned down, whispering in the dog's ear.

"Getting stimulating conversation?" Erica Sykes asked bitterly.

"No, telling him to bite you if you ask me stupid questions.  What do you want, Sykes?"  He sat up.  "I'm calming down from my run."

"I can tell, you're sweaty and nasty.  How's Ryan's little wife?"

"He woke us up at three this morning.  She's fine, their daughter is good. A little underweight but not too bad.  She's about four pounds and a few ounces so she's got to gain some weight.  She's healthy otherwise."

"That's good."  She smiled at him. "Got a quote on the heiress who wants you?"

"No.  I personally think she's got me confused with someone else."  He stood up and looked at his dog.  "Ready to head home for another shower?"

"What's his name?" Erica asked.

"Percival.  Horatio got him for me while I was in New York.  We start obedience training soon."  He smiled at his dog.   "C'mon."  The dog barked and followed him back to the car.  So did the reporter. "What?" he asked finally, turning to glare at her.  "What? I'm not that news worthy."

"Well you are now," she reminded him. "Got a shirt in the car?"

"No!" he snorted. "I came out for a run, not a fashion shoot."  He walked off.  "Call my husband if you want to know anything else."

"I hear you've got a new stalker," she called.

He stopped and walked back.  "Since when, who, and why?" he asked, staring her down.  She backed up.  He followed.  "Erica, this is my personal safety here.  Who, why, and since when?" he asked calmly, making her feel tiny by the way she was hunching down.  "Who?"

"Some woman named Brundt.  The daughter of the homophobe who wants to ruin you," she squeaked, backing up further.  "You're....you're very powerful."

"I know I am.  Since when?"

"I don't know.  I heard it last night at a party.  Why weren't you there?"

He smiled.  "The PD ball was last night; Horatio and the lab was honored."

"I heard he got a promotion."

"He did," he agreed, smiling at her. "Is she following her mother's plan?"  She shrugged.  "If you hear more, I would like to know, Erica.  But do stay away from Willow.  She's going to be cranky and pitiful for days.  Thank you."  He turned and went back to the car with his dog, leaving her to calm herself down.  He beeped happily as he pulled out.

She calmed herself down and looked at the cameraman.  "Not one word."

"You're not the first he's done that too. I caught him doing it on camera to a guy who wanted to shoot him."

"Do we still have the film?"

"It was year before last," he admitted.  "And no, the PD confiscated it for the trial."

"Oh."  She pouted.  "Did we get that?"  He nodded.  "Can we run with it?"

"Are you suddenly the entertainment anchor?"

"It's a job."

"It is," he agreed.  "We'll go back and edit it in the van.  Did you want to try to cover the crime scene?"

"Sure."  They headed that way.

Eric glared at her.  "Do not come any closer, Sykes."  He heard Speed growl.  "Stay there."

"Fine.  Would you like to comment on Ryan Wolfe's new daughter?"

"She was born?" Speed asked, looking over.  "No filming the body, you know better."

"We'll cut it out," the cameraman promised.

"And I so believe you.  Quit.  Now."  The camera was moved off the body and pointed toward Eric.  "Thank you."  He got back to work.  "She had the baby?"

"Xander said they got a call at three."

"Wolfe will tell us later," Eric said philosophically.  "Is she okay?"

"He said so.  A bit small but otherwise okay.  Would you consent to give me a statement on his new stalker?"

"New stalker?" Speed asked, getting up and coming over.

Eric looked at him.  "Were those silver before?"

"No, but I already took samples and I'm giving these over when I get there.  It's soaked into the ground."  He looked at Erica.  "What new stalker?"

"Melissa Brundt.  Daughter of his last one."

"The homophobe?"  She nodded, pointing the mic in his direction.  "We'll look into any allegations that are brought forward, but this is the first we've heard about it.  Thank you for telling us and if you have any real information on it, we'll gladly investigate," he said, staring her down.

She smiled.  "That's fine.  Your boy does that so much better."

"Xander's in a class by himself. Anything else?"

"Any new announcements from the foundation you both sit on the board of?"

"No, that would come from Xander or Don.  Ask them."

"He was sweaty and nasty after a run with his dog."

"He probably was," he agreed.

"Anything else or can you go now?" Eric asked.  She snorted and packed up, leaving them alone.  "Why the sudden interest?" he asked once the camera was off. "You don't usually deal with the foundation or Xander."

"He's newsworthy now.  Since the heiress started on his case."

"She has no idea who he is and he's had it sent back to her that he is married and gay," Speed offered.  "You'd do okay as an entertainment hostess, Erica, but really.  Shoo."  They walked off.  He and Eric looked at each other.  Speed called Horatio while Eric finished working.  "H, Speed.  What's the silver stuff soaked into the ground out here?  No, I ended up in a puddle of it. I've taken samples already."  He nodded at that.  "Not a clue.  Sykes ambushed us and Xander after his run. No, but the dog was probably really tired.  Here in the park.  He ended up ducking under the corner of the tape instead of running through it.  No officers far enough out.  Yeah, it's been fixed.  Thanks."  He hung up, looking at Eric.  "Think she's helping her mother?"

"Probably," Eric agreed.  "Did he dress Marisol?"

"I don't know," Speed admitted. "I know he dressed Calleigh and Yelina."  He came back after letting Alexx in.  "Watch out, the ground's soaked with some silver stuff."

She looked. "Looks like silver nitrate, Speedy."  She squatted down instead, looking at the body.  "Strangled, put up a fight too," she admitted, looking at the hands.  "Marks go up so maybe someone above him and he was flipped?"  They nodded.  "Sorry this is so brief.  We've had a massive car crash that Horatio and Calleigh are working.  I've already got three others and ten to the hospital.  Oh, Ryan's new daughter is just fine.  He called this morning to officially call off.  She's twenty inches, four pounds, three ounces.  Red hair just like her momma so far.  Lots and lots of hair from what he bragged.  So she'll be in there for a few days."

"I'll stop by after work," Speed promised. "They need anything?"

"Nope, she's just fine," Alexx said with a smile for him.  "Have we remembered it's election day?"  They both groaned and nodded.  "Hit it on your lunch breaks, boys.  Ryan needs our support."  She got up and waved the body haulers in.  "Watch out, there's some silver stuff soaked into the ground."  They nodded, being careful with the body.  She patted Speed on the cheek.  "Remember to vote, Speedy."  She walked off after the body.  "Come see me in a few.  First come first served."

"Sure," he agreed.  They finished up fairly quickly and packed up, heading there on the way back.  It didn't take that long to vote.

***

Xander walked into the hospital room, grinning behind the coffeecup of flowers and candy.  "I hear I have a new niece?"

Ryan grinned.  "She's in NICU for now."  He took the flowers and put them aside.  "Can you sit with her while I go vote?"

"Of course. Can she get out in time?"

"We'll try."  He kissed Willow on the forehead, waking her. "Xander's here, I'm going to the polls.  I'll be right back, okay?"  She nodded, yawning and patting him on the cheek.  "He brought you candy."

"I love him for that."  He smiled and left.

Xander hugged her.  "New niece?"

"New niece," she agreed, looking at her flowers, carnations, and candy, Reisen pieces.  "Thank you, Xander."

"I figure you wanted something to suck on and there's some chewy pieces so you have something to do with your mouth when you want to scream at someone."  He curled up next to her on the bed, giving her a hug.  "How are you?"

"Sore.  Not as fat.  The same as last time.  Who has Toddy?"

"Marisol.  She called a while ago to make sure we knew she had him.  I'll go pick him up and he can play with me and the Percy dog later."

"Sure.  Can't be any worse of a terror than Eric is on him I'm sure."  He grinned at that.  The nurse came in.  "You can come in.  This is my bestest buddy Xander."  She came in to check her over.  "He's staying with me while my husband's voting for himself."

"What's he running for?"

"Ryan Wolfe?  Judge," Xander said.  "He's the CSI running."

"I've seen his billboard."  She made her notes.  "Should I bring your daughter down for you?"  She smiled and nodded.  "That's fine.  She's been sent back to the normal nursery since it's only a matter of weight now."  She went to call them.  Then she came back with the baby a few minutes later.  "Here we go."

"Ah, my darling Elizabeth."  She put the baby on her chest, watching Xander look her over, then carefully take her.  "You did good with Toddy when he was that age."

"I almost kinda miss not getting to do this with Eric.  Of course, if I had, she'd have given up total custody immediately."  He stroked over the soft cheek, making the baby flinch. "It's all right, Lizzy.  I'm a Xander.  I'm your uncle.  I'm a good boy."  She relaxed again.  "I'm like an alternate daddy. You'll see me and my heathen all the time."  He pulled out his cell and called Di.  "I'm holding a baby Ryan and Willow," he bragged.  "Yup, there.  Elizabeth.  Little small but otherwise good."  He handed her back, looking away when she undid her top. "Didn't need to see that, Wills."  He smiled at Di's laughter.  "Can you bring down the heathen?  Sure.  Yup, that's a good thing.  Thanks, babe."  He hung up and grinned at the nurse.  "My heathen will come visiting this afternoon."

"That's fine.  A strong family is important when there's health issues, even small ones like this."

"I was born a bit early too," Willow assured her.  She looked down at her daughter, who was sucking for all she was worth.  "That's right, you have the nummies and gain weight.  As soon as we get you home, we'll do the blessing."

"Can I call out the wiccan network to do that?" Xander asked.   "Do I invite Ethan to witness?"

"Please.  I don't care if he comes or not.  Giles can come if he wants to.  Ooh, Buffy and Joyce."

"I'll make all the calls.  When's her baptism in Ryan's faith?"

"A few days after we get home."  She shrugged.  "He's bouncy and already called his uncle to brag."  He grinned at that.  She looked at her daughter, who was making faces. "Oooh, someone's got the straining poopy face."

"Eww," Xander complained, but he changed the diaper for her.  Ryan came back and he grinned at him.  "Hey.  First diaper too.  I'll arrange for the Wiccan blessing.  Park, beach, where, Wills?"

"Beach," she decided. "I like water."  She looked at Ryan, who looked hesitant.  "We did one for Toddy too."

"You did and we agreed to let the kids choose their own faith when they were older."  He sat down to take the baby, resting her against his chest.  "Aren't you so sweet," he cooed.  She snuggled in.  "Good girl, Elizabeth."  He looked at Xander.  "You can bounce outside."  He grinned and hugged them.  Then Willow.  Then the nurse.  "Thanks.  Want pictures?"  He pointed at his scene camera.  "It was in the car."

"Sure."  He took it with him back to the station, handing it to Frank.  "Baby Ryan and Willow came to be last night."

"Oooh!"  He sat down to pull up the pictures, cooing.  "She's adorable!"

"She is, and I got to change the first diaper," Xander said proudly.  "Put it on your computer."  Frank downloaded it and Xander carried the camera back, handing it to his mate.  "Ryan had his in his car.  So it's got pictures of the baby on it."

"That's fine."  He smiled and went to download them.  "She is adorable."

"I got to change the first diaper and hold her," he said proudly.  "She's so *tiny*!"

Eric walked in and looked. "Awww.  I thought I heard squealing.  She's cute.  What's her name?"

"Elizabeth."

"So, the princess is coming home when?"

"She's got to make up most of a pound.  She's back in the normal nursery.  Fair warning, Willow was nursing her earlier in front of me."  He shrugged at the laughing.  "I get embarrassed!  But I do get to do the wiccan blessing ceremony."  He preened.  "So I'm off to arrange that.  Any beach that would be best?"

"The one down by the house," Horatio suggested.  "We can hold it in our backyard."

"Dear, that would mean Ethan could come back."

"Point.  What's the nearest public beach to their house?"

"The one Di lives by."

"We'll make sure we can use it," Horatio agreed.

"Dear, I'm planning it.  It'll be okay," he promised, sneaking a kiss.  "I'm off to do that.  Have fun at work and remember to call if you can't make it home for dinner."  He headed out again.

Horatio smiled at Eric.  He printed off a picture and wrote her weight, length, and time and date of birth on it.  "There."  He grinned and took it around to the others. His mate was in full fuss mode.  That meant he'd get an ordered dinner tonight so he'd better try to make it home.

***

Xander came out of the polls and smiled at the officers standing there.  "Hey, guys.  Voting for Ryan?"

"Here to see you," one of them offered, walking him off.  "We know you're *with* the head of the crime lab and you're good friends with most of them."

"What would it take to make you leave them all alone?" the second asked.

"Not like I go bother them while they're working."

"Not what we meant," the second guy assured him.

Xander held up his hand, showing off his wedding ring.  "Nothing and no one is taking Horatio from me.  Not some psycho aging sorority chick, not some bratty heiress, nothing.  I love Horatio.  He's my sanity and my strength."  He stared at them.  "Even asking that question is insulting since Speed's like my dad."

"That's fine.  We wanted to know if you could be corrupted."

"No.  As many people have found out."  He stared them down, making them take a step back.  "Were we going to try something in public, officers?"

"No, sir. Just making sure it was a committed relationship," the first promised, backing off.  They walked off together.

Xander pulled out his phone and left a message on his husband's office voicemail with their names and what happened, then he went to his car.  He had to stop in on someone in City Hall.  He headed that way, smiling at the reporter as he walked past her.  "'Scuse me."

"You're busy today."

"I'm working on the blessing celebration for Willow's daughter."  He shrugged and headed into City Hall proper, going upstairs.  He smiled at the secretary.  "Hi, who do I talk to about getting permission to hold a Wiccan blessing ceremony on a public beach?"

"Will there be a fire involved?"

"Maybe.  Not totally sure."  He frowned, then shrugged.  "Better to plan and not have one."

She smiled and dug out the form.  "Fill that out, take it to room 564, and talk to them."  He nodded, going to fill it out on the way up there.

Xander walked into the room in question, smiling at the woman behind the counter.  "I was told I had to come here to talk to someone about a blessing ceremony on a public beach?"

"You do," she agreed.  "We're the office that handles permission for weddings too."  She took the form, looking it over.  "You're the godfather?"

"Might as well be," he agreed. "It's a Wiccan one.  I'll be her Guard and Teacher."  She nodded, checking that box.  "She was just born last night."

"That's fine, sir.  It's a good friend who can do this for their family."  She looked it over again.  "All right, we do request a deposit of a hundred dollars, just in case you need security.  Will you have a fire?"

"I'm not sure.  I'd rather plan to and not have one than the other way around.  I can tell you there's probably going to be a few officers there.  Her daddy's one."

"The mother's?"

"No, the new daughter."

"Oh, all right."  She wrote that down and took the deposit, then stamped the form. "Now, take this down to 361 and have them stamp it."  He nodded, smiling and going down there.  She filed it with the usual paperwork.

Xander knocked and walked into the office of the Fire Chief, smiling at his secretary.  "Hi.  I was told to bring this here.  Probably because we might have a bonfire during the blessing."

"That's fine."  She took the form and looked it over.  "That's fine with us.  Wiccan?"

"Her mother.  Her father's Methodist I think.  Their son was baptized in a really pretty Methodist church so I'm assuming."  She smiled at that and called into the office.  "I don't want to be a bother."

"No, that's fine, we just need a signature."  Her boss came to the doorway.  "Blessing ceremony on the beach, possible bonfire."

"I heard Horatio was having another one," he admitted dryly.

"No, this is for Ryan Wolfe's daughter with Willow.  Our newest one is only two months along at the moment," he offered with a smile.  "Eric's sister is having her."

"Wanting a daughter?"

"Well, yeah," he admitted sheepishly, grinning at him. "I'm arranging the Wiccan blessing for Willow and Ryan Wolfe's new daughter."

"That's fine.  Bonfire?"

"Possibly.  I'm not real sure."  He shrugged. "Better to plan and not have one, right?"

"Very true."  He signed off on it.  "If you do need to have one, give us at least a day's warning so we can have a guy down there to make sure it doesn't get out of hand, Mr. Harris.  We'll put someone injured down there."

"That's fine.  I respect you guys and your jobs.  Fire's pretty but scares the hell outta me.  You guys are way braver."  That got a smile.  "Don't forget to vote."

"I already did.  Hard not to when I had to walk past them."  He smiled.  "I heard...oh, that Wolfe."  He grinned and nodded.  "Big day for him then."

"Very.  Thank you, sir."  He shook his hand and took the form back, heading out to talk to the wiccans he knew.  He knew where they hung out and who to talk to.  "It's a girl!" he announced as he walked in.  "Elizabeth Wolfe is four pounds, three ounces."  They squealed and gathered around. "I'm arranging the blessing ceremony.  It'll be here."  He handed over the paper and dialed Ethan. "It's a girl!"

"Yours or hers?"

"Hers.  Elizabeth was born last night and she invited you to the blessing as a witness, Ethan."

"Thank you, Xander.  When?"

"Six days.  She'll be out by then according to the nurse."

"Excellent.  Send me date and time please."  He hung up.

Xander beamed at them, winking at the worried looking one.  "Ethan caused a lot of change in our lives and he respects us."

"That's fine.  He's witnessing?"

Xander nodded. "I figure I'll be Guard and Teacher for her too.  I am for Toddy."

"Good.  I see you planned for a bonfire?"

"I didn't know what I'd need so I decided to plan just in case."  They grinned and checked the weather and auspices for that day, finding it a good day to bless the child.  He was given a list of what to get and where to go, then they sent him away to deal with the details while they cooed and told everyone.  It could only help the child for more of them to welcome her into the community.

Xander finally made it home and sat down in the office, calling Sunnydale.  "Joyce, Xander."  He put her on speaker.  "Hi."

"Hi, Xander.  What's wrong?"

"Willow had Elizabeth last night.  We're doing a blessing in six days at sunset."

"Oh, I'm so happy!" she cooed.  "Is she adorable?"

"She is. Horatio has pictures.  You can write him at work and probably get one sent."

"That's so sweet.  I'll tell Buffy and Rupert right away.  We'll be down there if we can.  Is she being baptized at the same time?"

"Probably earlier in the day or the next day."

"That's wonderful!  What about your new one?"

"Marisol's two months pregnant."  The dog hopped into his lap. "Hi, Percival.  Horatio got me a *dog*," he said with happiness and glee.

"Ooh, Xander.  I bet you're so cute."

"I am."  He beamed. "Come down if you can.  Especially since her parents are now in a Federal jail for trying to kidnap her.  We moved by the way, did we send you a postcard?"

"You did, Xander.  Thank you, dear.  I'll tell everyone.  You have a good day."

"You too."  He hung up and went to look at the new doghouse and tie out line, smiling at his dog.  "Horatio loves you nearly as much as he does me."  The dog barked and bounced around, then turned and growled at someone coming up the beach. "Down, boy."   He grabbed his collar, stopping him from attacking. "Hi."

"Oh, hello. Are you the owner?"  Xander nodded, smiling at him.  "We heard someone from the developer's office was here."

"No, I only leant him money," Xander admitted.  "I can find his number for you if you want."

"No, that's all right.  I was just worried about the fact that this is a nice family place and those *gay* folk have moved in."

"I am one of them and yes, my family, including my son, does live here," Xander said blandly.  "We share custody with his mother, who also happens to be gay."  He looked horrified.  Xander shrugged.  "I don't care what you think about my marriage.  Really.  My son's a very nice, smart, active child.  Who moos now and then."  The man backed up.  "Sorry if you don't like it, but I've had this house and one other one since the development started.  My husband happens to be an officer.  We're welcoming a friend's child with her husband soon as well, so we'll try to keep the party down."  He walked off, huffing.  Xander looked at his dog.  "Not our fault."  He led him inside then let him go.  "Don't attack people unless they've got guns, Percy.  Leave the bigots to their opinions."  He went back to the office, going to check on his accounts.  He called his current mentor.  "Hi, Melody. It's Xander.  No, happy news.  In six days I can't go to the dinner.  We're doing a blessing for Willow's new daughter.  Just born last night and she's already adorable and being spoiled hard.  No, I'm arranging the wiccan blessing on the beach that night.  Just some friends and the wiccan community.  Yeah, that.  Tell her I'm sorry but that's the day she's coming home.  It's not like we'll be in conflict.  Almost no one's of both groups but me.  Sure.  I can do that.  Thank you, Melody.  No, I gave her to her stepmother to handle.  I didn't want to take part in any negative sniping. It's not who I am.  Thanks."

He hung up and called the other matron.  "Mrs. Strand?"  He smiled.  "Tell her this is Xander Harris, of the Benis Foundation.  That I unfortunately can't come to her dinner in six days time.  My best friend just had her daughter and I'm doing her blessing ceremony that night on the beach.  There's almost no crossover so she won't have to worry about me poaching any other guests.  I'll try my best to be at her next event; I'm very sorry for the short notice and having to cancel like this, but she's my best friend and has been since the first day of school.  Sure, I'll hold."  He waited while her assistant told her that, then smiled when she came back and told him that was fine.  "Thank you, dear.  Tell her again I am very sorry I can't be there.  You too, have a nice day and remember to vote."  He hung up and leaned back, letting the dog back into his lap.  "What else do we have to do, Percy?"  He thought, then found the listing for the obedience classes.  "Hi, this is Xander Harris and I just got a new dog from the pound.  My husband arranged for lessons but I'm not sure when they are."

He wrote down the dates and times.  "Okay.  Do I need to bring anything other than me, the dog, and the leash?"  He wrote down those suggestions.  "Sure.  Thank you, miss."  He hung up and got up to take the dog into the living room to play with him.  Dogs needed played with.  His dog barked and they played out in the front yard, playing fetch and tag and all sorts of good games.  The guard came over and Percival barked loudly.  "Down."  He grinned.  "Hi, we being too loud?"

"No, wondering what you told him."

"That myself and my family, including my son, live here.  That I didn't care what he thought about my marriage. I leave bigots to their own thoughts and totally ignore them until they push themselves on me."

"That's usually the wiser way to go, Xander.  Thank you."

"Not a problem.  I'm not a mean guy unless you shoot at me."  That got a smile.  "We're going to start obedience classes in a few days."

"Good. He looks like he'll make a good companion for you."  He squatted down, letting the dog sniff him.  "I'm one of the guards here, dog."

"Percival."

"Percival.  Your other daddy must've wanted you to be a knight."  He scratched behind the ears.  "He's loving, Xander.  A good choice."

"Horatio got him for me," he said proudly.  "My baby loves me. Oooh, Willow had a daughter last night."  That got a smile. "In six days I'm running her blessing at a public beach but we might have a small dinner afterward."

"That's fine. Let us know that day if you can."  He gave the dog one last pet and stood up.  "Nice job with him."

"He even made my five miles this morning."

"Then I'm doubly impressed," he agreed.  "Be careful and put in some invisible fencing if you can.  We've noticed the tieout line when we patroled the beach.  Looks safe enough."  Xander beamed at that.  "Remember to scoop too."

"I do.  Horatio doesn't want to walk in it either."  That got a smile and the guard continued on his rounds.  "We're just meeting everyone today, huh, Percy?" he cooed, bringing him back inside.  He had to get a few of the toys but the dog followed him back inside.

***

Xander bounced back into the hospital room, handing everything to Ryan.  "Then, everything's planned. There will be food and a bonfire.  I've already cleared it with the fire chief's office and all that too.  Everyone's told.  Joyce said they'd try to come down if they could.  Horatio put pictures around the office and I gave Frank the camera first since I ran into him first.  I've got all the food and of course I voted for you."  He hugged him and looked at the baby in the bassinet.  "How is my new favorite princess, Lizzie?" he cooed, picking her up to hold her.  "You're going to be so welcomed when everyone comes to see you," he promised, sitting on the foot of the bed to hold her.  "Everyone's going to love you and if Rupert makes scary faces you just yell and Uncle Xander will distract the big grump.  Yes he will."

Ryan laughed.  "If he shows up this time, you can do that.  You invited Ethan?"

"To watch.  Do I get to be her Guard again?"

"Sure.  Not like I mind.  You do it anyway."  He smiled as Willow was brought back in, handing her the forms.  "He's already done it all, including arranged for food and a bonfire."

"Plus tents in case we need one," Xander promised, grinning at her.  "I even called Joyce and she's squealing to the blonde one and Rupert."

"Good. Maybe he'll come this time."

"If he doesn't, I'll let Ethan plague him like he wanted to last time."  He went back to cooing at the baby.

"Put her back," Willow said tolerantly.  "Or she'll never sleep."  He carefully put her back into bed, letting her get comfortable.  "Thank you.  Hug?" He bounced over to hug her. "Any poll results yet?"

"Nope.  Not yet.  Not on the radio on the way over anyway."  He sat on the foot of the bed again.  "Though, Erica did come to bug me.  She asked about you and the baby.  She asked about the former stalker's daughter who's now stalking me.  She went to bother Eric and Dad on a scene I ended up ducking under the tape, across a corner, and then back under the tape on because no one warned me and I was going too fast to do anything but duck under it.  By the way, Percy kept up very well with me.  He's also very protective.  He barked at the bigot who came up to us from the beach."  Ryan smiled at that.  "He did.  I kept him from attacking.  We're going to obedience school soon.  He made my full five miles this morning even."

"Congrats," Ryan agreed happily.  "Did you drive over?"

"No, I expect Horatio to come pick me up.  He said he'd be here when he got done.  If he's not here within forty-five minutes I'll cab home."  He smiled at them.  "So, how are we?"

"We're doing fine.  We had some time in the whirlpool to ease the ache.  Babies are really big for all that they're tiny little things.  Tell Marisol I'll gladly go over labor and delivery with her if she wants to know anything."

"We don't want her scared," Xander complained.  She grinned at that.  "I invited her and Eric to the blessing and I called their parents to tell them that, and pointed out I wasn't certain they'd be comfortable with so many of us there together.  She agreed they might not but they will be at the regular baptism."

"That's fine, they're already on my invite list," Ryan agreed. "You can deliver those tomorrow if you want."  Xander grinned.  "How's Ray doing?"

"Fine.  I haven't seen him today.  Was something going on?"

"The heiress supposedly called him earlier.  He called to complain to Willow about all the hotties calling for your gay butt."

Xander nodded. "I know.  I even told her sister to remind her that I'm married to Horatio.  I don't know what her problem is.  By the way, did you hear *anything* from the dinner?"  Ryan shook his head.  "Do you want to now or when Horatio gets here?"

"Go ahead and he can finish," Willow offered.

"Okay.  Well, I dressed Horatio in his new tux after some really great sex," he said proudly.  "The dog didn't even help.  The Chief sent Eric over to make sure we made it on time.  So we gave him a ride.  I had to call Calleigh to get her there.  Dad and I put a dress in her closet for her.  The entire lab was there, including techs."

"So what was up?" Ryan asked.

"I'm getting there!"  He grinned at him.  "Yelina and Calleigh both looked spectacular in the dresses we got for them.  Ray escorted is mother, though they got there late due to a series of wrecks.  They all highlighted Horatio's studliness more than usual.  Which was a good thing when the Chief got up and announced he was leaving, introducing everyone to Brousard, who we knew was taking over.  He applauded the crime lab."  Horatio came in and he smiled.  "This is now Captain Caine."

"Congrats, Horatio," Ryan said happily.

"Goes with yours," he offered, handing over the paperwork and badge.  "Detective."

"Oooooohhhhh!" Willow squealed, inching over to hug him. "I'm so proud!"

Ryan beamed, hugging her back. "You timed that."

"I so did," Xander agreed happily.  He looked up at his mate.  "Did you get my voicemail?"

"I did, and I talked to them.  They wanted to make sure we were serious.  They claim it's nothing else."  He stroked through his hair.  "You know better."

"I couldn't go around it in time.  There wasn't any warning.  I stayed in the furthest corner, all of three steps."

"You still know better."

"I know.  He made all five miles with me."

"I was wondering why he was napping."

"We played all afternoon after I got done arranging for the blessing ceremony."  He took that paper from Willow's lap and handed it over. "Then and there."

"That's fine, Xander.  I'll try to get us all put on call at that time," he promised, smiling at him.  "Good job."  Xander preened.  He walked over to look at their daughter, smiling at her.  "Hello, Elizabeth."  She made a noise so he picked her up, cuddling her.  "You're very tiny," he soothed.  "Yet so very precious.  Even if you will drive your mother insane and your father to collapsing soon."  Ryan laughed and pulled back.

"Horatio, Xander's been holding her all the time," Willow complained.

"That's him."  He did put her back down, earning a baby pout.  "Awww.  Don't worry, we'll watch you when they need a nap."  He smoothed down her hat and booties.  "You're very adorable, Elizabeth."  He straightened up and looked at the new parents.  "Should we rescue Marisol?"

"If you want," Ryan offered.  "Either's fine with us, Horatio.  Thank her for us."  Horatio nodded that he would.  "She'll be home and we expect Elizabeth at least by the day he set."

"I talked to the nurses first," Xander promised.

"Thank you," Ryan said, winking at him.  "Turn on the brat."  Xander got up and turned on the tv to Syke's station, watching the scrawl across the bottom of the screen.  "Seven thirty.  So eight or nine?"

"Probably," Willow agreed.  She smiled at Horatio.  "He can stay part time, right?"

"Of course.  As his schedule allows."

Ryan grinned at that.  "Thanks, Horatio.  They said it was fine on their end.  We've got a volunteer firefighter on the bench as well."  That got a nod.  "Xander brought her stuff to suck and chew on when she felt like yelling."

"I'd expect it."  He pulled Xander up.  "Congratulations, both of you.  She's very strong."  They smiled at that.  "Call us if you need us.  Eric spread her picture around the lab.  Your camera is in my desk, Detective."  Ryan grinned at that.  He walked Xander out, letting him wave.  "Come on.  Let's get Toddy so you can bring him up tomorrow."  Xander nodded, bouncing out with him.  He loved it when his boy was happy.  He was bouncier than any puppy ever born. He drove them to the Delko's, going up to knock on the door.  Eric answered. "We're picking up Toddy."

"The non-Xander heathen brat?"

"What did he do?" Horatio asked as he walked inside.

"Helped my sister color her hair and the dog."  Horatio moaned.  "It's washable.  Thankfully.  They're both fine."  He led him to where the baby was sitting in his high chair, letting him squeal at Horatio.  "He's going to stay with Xander tonight."

"No he's not," Mrs. Delko said firmly.

"We can watch him.  We have many times," Horatio reminded her.  She pouted.  "We're also taking him to see Elizabeth tomorrow."

"I can do that."

"Mom's pouting about needing the new baby sooner," Eric offered, patting her on the back.  "Mom, you can steal him back tomorrow afternoon. I'm sure Xander will have something to do."

"Only fuss over any celebration for Ryan," Horatio offered.  They laughed.  He looked over as Marisol walked out and drug Xander inside.  "Thank you, Marisol, and Ryan and Willow sent theirs as well."

"He was a baby all day.  It's what they do.  Of course he helped dye the dog red."  She shrugged at Xander's giggle.  "My sister was doing hers.  He helped her and the dog."  She put him into a seat, then pulled one over for Horatio, sitting him down.  "You can eat.  I doubt Xander had lunch with the way he was bouncing around."

"We had a snack after our run," Xander defended.  He grinned at Eric.  "He made my five miles and was really tired but good."

"Good.  Where did you jog in New York?"

"On the riding trails.  I got to pet some very pretty horses."

"You may not have a horse, Xander," Horatio said firmly.  "Riding lessons yes, owning a horse, no."

"I don't want to own a horse. They eat a lot more than a dog and can't cuddle."  He gave him a look.  "Besides, where would we put one?"

"Good point."  He smiled at his practical sounding mate.  "We'll go riding this Sunday. I've already arranged it."  Xander grinned and hugged him.  "Eat."  Xander grinned at Mrs. Delko, who filled a plate and handed it over. "Thank you."

"You still can't take him," she assured him, handing him a filled plate too.  Marisol giggled. "You, eat."

"We filled her plate last night too," Xander agreed happily, hugging her.  "They thought it was yours I was arranging the blessing for."

She shook her head.  "No, ours will be baptized."  Horatio nodded at that.  "You don't mind if he's raised Catholic?"

"I was," he admitted.  "We'll raise him both ways since technically Xander isn't of any particular form of Nature religion."

Xander nodded. "But I get to teach him, right?"  Horatio and Marisol both nodded.  "Good, then I'm fine with it.  Just don't expect me to go.  I'm not comfortable with that."

"That's fine," Horatio agreed calmly.  "That's why I don't ask you to go when I do."  He stroked his hand.  "What else happened today?"

"One of our bigoted neighbors came up the beach because he heard we knew the owners of the development.  He wanted to complain about the gays moving in.  So I kindly and politely told him that yes, we lived there, our son did visit quite often, and we were pretty much going to ignore him. I kept Percy from attacking him."

"Thank you.  I didn't think he would."

"He growled at a few people today who looked threatening to him."  They shared a look.  "It'll be fine and I found out when lessons are.  I'll mention that to them.  The guard got growled at but he made friends with him.  The old guy who came up the beach I had to hold his collar to keep him from lunging."

"I'll keep that in mind.  He is of breeds that are highly overprotective."

"What is he?" Eric asked.

"Dobie, auzzie sheppard, and boxer.  I thought he might be protective of you and Eric."

"Oh, he will be," Xander agreed.  "Very."  He took his hand to hold with a grin.  "I've still got good reflexes."  His phone rang so he excused himself and went to answer it.  "Harris."  He listened, then nodded. "That's fine, Melody.  No, he's taking me riding Sunday.  Well, he did the sweetest thing and got me a dog," he said proudly.  "No, from the pound.  Why?"  He looked at the family then went to the tv, turning it on.  "I'm watching it now.  Thank you, Melody. Sure.  Tomorrow afternoon good?  That's fine, come over.  I can pick up the dog toys."  He hung up.  "Honey, someone bombed the pound."  Horatio and Eric both came to look.  "See?"

"I do."  He went to call the office, see who was working it.

Xander frowned, tapping a foot as he watched. "They got some of the animals out."

"That means they had warning," Eric agreed.  "Do they have somewhere to house them?"

Xander listened, then shook his head.  "They've been offered a few trailers for their use tonight."

Horatio came back.  "You can give a *small* donation and help them, Xander.  What did Melody want?"

"To come see me about the new stalker and to tell me about this.  She knows I like animals."  He turned off the tv.  "How big is small?"

"Your shopping fund. A month's worth."

Xander nodded. "Done."  He went to call the number he had memorized.  "Hi, this is Xander Harris.  What can I do to help?  I can stop off tonight and get food and stuff, I can come in for a few days soon, or do we need money?"  He listened, nodding a few times. "I'm there.  Tonight."  He hung up.  "We need to hit the pet store tonight," he ordered.

"That's fine, we'll have time," Horatio agreed.  He kissed him. "Let's eat so we can take the nephew home."

"He's staying, Horatio," Eric's mother said firmly.  "You can't bring him to that.  He'll come home with more beasts."

"I'll behave," Xander promised, sitting down again.  "No more animals tonight."

"Or tomorrow," Horatio promised.  "Or the next day, Xander."  He sighed and nodded.  "I'll try to make Ray go with you.  He could use something to do."  He kissed him on the cheek.  "Eat."  Xander nodded, digging in.  Horatio dug in as well.  "What do they need?"

"Food, bowls.  Things like that."

"The expected things?"  Xander nodded. "That's fine."

Xander hugged him.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I know you wouldn't let them suffer.  Anything you do, you do it quietly."  Xander nodded, accepting that.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  You put up with me so I won't draw the press down.  I'm sure others are going to be doing that just fine."  He smiled at Eric. "Isn't tomorrow your day off?"

"If they need me I can come help," he promised.  "Just to make sure you don't bring home the rest of the animals."

Xander grinned at that.  "Ill be good."

"I'm sure you will."  He pulled up his glass.  "To our new captain."

Eric's mother squealed and hugged Horatio across the table.

***

Xander walked into the pound's temporary office. "We've got sixteen bags of cat and dog food in the back of the hummer, plus some bowls and chew toys.  They've got to need some comfort tonight."  The woman in there smiled and hugged him.  He looked at her, handing over the gift card. "It's got six thousand dollars on it for whatever you need."  She sighed and nodded, going to tell their director and get help for the food.  Xander shook his hand.  "I'm very happy with the new dog I just got.  Thank you."

"Not a problem, sir. Thank you for the generous donation."

"It's going to be expensive.  We've got food in the hummer.  That gift card is six thousand dollars for the pet warehouse.  You get what they need.  Food, whatever.  When do you need me to come back?"

"Tomorrow anytime.  We've got a lot of work to do."

"Understood.  I'll be back when I can.  I've got a new niece and stuff to arrange.  But I'll be back the day after definitely."  That got a smile.  "Okay, let's go get the stuff out of the hummer."  He led the way, going to unload everything with Horatio's help.

"How is your dog?" one of the volunteers asked.

"Very happy.  He went running with Xander this morning.  Did his five miles with him then collapsed back at home for a long nap."  That got a smile.  "He's very happy with the dog.  The other two in the family are loved as well."  Ray Jr. pulled up with his mother.  "Ray, Yelina."

Ray walked over and pulled the director over, whispering in his ear and slipping him something, getting a smile and a nod.  Then he came to unload the back of the car.  "I figured you needed other stuff.  Most people think food, most of them don't think brushes, cages, carrying boxes," he offered, lifting them out.  Some of the volunteers came over to help.  He looked at Xander.  "You went running with him already?"

"I always run today.  Why?"

"She got some nice shots of you running for their entertainment people.  Shirtless and sweaty."

"Hmm, well, a boy's gotta stay in shape."  He shrugged.  "Don't tell Horatio," he muttered.

"I've already seen the tape," Horatio called.  "It was taped for me, Xander. Ray."  He grinned at him.  "Nice try though."  He got the rest of the food out and handed it over.  "Let us know if we can help more."  That got him hugged and everything was taken inside.  He watched Xander walk back.  "We'll go to the rebuilding charity dinner or whatever together."  He smiled at his nephew.  "Nice try, Ray."

"I do try."  He shrugged.  "Think I should go into image management?"

"You could.  It would mean you didn't have to sweat chemistry so much."  Ray beamed at that and went back to his mother's car, getting out the last few bags to bring inside.  Then they both drove off.  Horatio looked at Xander.  "Do what you can."

"Yes, dear."  He took his hand to hold.  They pulled up to their gate and the guard gave them a look. "The bigot or what?"

"The bigot, sir.  We're very sorry and we've reported him to the other cops."

"Thank you," Horatio said quietly. "We'll need paint?"

"Yeah, just a bit.  They got the side of the house."

"Hmm.  Our dog?"

"Barking up a storm whenever we get near there.  Is he trained?"

"We're starting obedience training very soon," Xander told him.  "In two days. The standard stuff?"  That got a nod.  "We'll get some paint tomorrow and take care of it. Thank you."  They drove in and Horatio parked the hummer, letting him get out and calm down the dog.  "Percy!" he yelled before walking in.  The dog quit barking and came over, shaking against him. "Shh, daddy's got you.  It's all right.  Come on."  He walked him back onto the new back porch, finding the back yard a mess. "Horatio!  I'm not so sure it's not a crime scene!"

He brought his case back there, going to test the blood.  "Cow."  He stood up.  "That is a mess."  He went to call the guards out and turn on the back lights for them.  They came jogging up, complaining already.  "Boys, when did this happen?"

"Sometime between when you got here and our last patrol about a half hour ago, Captain."  Horatio nodded.  "Should we call the officers back?"

"Please."  He went to shoo his mate and dog inside, then went back to his hummer, finding someone staring at it.  "Yes, I am with the crime lab," he said quietly, startling him.  The man gave him a horrified look. "Xander is my husband."  The man backed off.  "Guards?"  They came to stop him.  "Is this him?"

"Yes, sir, he came up to the officers earlier to complain about you and your lifestyle being in his new neighborhood." one of them agreed.

"That's fine.  We can talk with him down at the station."

Xander came to the door. "Horatio, he's delusional.  Arresting him won't make him hate us less."  Horatio looked at him.  "I'd rather live in peace than deal with his angry family every day for the rest of his short life in prison for trashing the yard and the house.  If that's his attitude, he can move.  We were here first and this development went up because of my money."  Horatio nodded, looking at him again.  "Make him have a warning and send him back to sob on his wife's shoulder."

"I can't do that this time," Horatio offered. "This is not simple vandalism.  I wish I had been able to do that but he did do this."  He looked at him again as the officers pulled up. "He decided to attack our lawn as well.  Cow's blood."  He handed him over. Then he walked back inside.   Xander looked at him.  "I know.  It won't make it keep going."

"It will."  He stroked up his chest.  "It will, Horatio, and we both know that."

"I can't let anyone threaten our home."

Xander nodded.  "I understand that.  I agree, but he's an old, stupid man with too many opinions."

Horatio shook his head.  "I can't.  Not with this level of destruction."  Xander sighed.  "You can ask them for leniency.  I won't."  He kissed him, making Xander relax.  One of the cops coughed, making Horatio look at him.  "Needed something?"

"Do we need a crime scene person?"

"Up to you.  It's cow's blood.  If I have to, I can pull up the fingerprints."  Ryan pulled in and got out, slamming the door.  "She kick you out?"

"Yup.  Figured I'd do something nice for the family to keep Xander from fussing you to death."  He pointed.  "Just the back yard?"  Percival came up and sniffed him then barked quietly.  "I've heard about you.  Hello, Percival."  He patted him on the head.  "Good boy."  The dog's tail wagged.  "Yes, you guard this family very well.  You're a good boy."   He looked at Horatio.  "Anything other than the yard?"

"Side of the house.  Ask the guards," Xander offered.  "Did you see about the pound?"

"Willow was crying.  We'll do what we can without bringing home the pound."  He headed to the back yard.  "Hey, guys, here and where?"  One of the community's guards led him off to show him everything else.  "Who lives next door?"

"It's a second house, owned by a couple from New York.  We called them to tell them we would be on the property due to some vandalism on the house next to them.  They said they were sorry to hear that and asked what happened, I told them a gay bashing.  They said they hoped the gay couple were fine.  Apparently they know Xander?"

"Probably.  A lot of people seem to know Xander.  Did you see about the pound?"

"I hadn't, what happened?"

"Looks like someone either bombed it or it exploded for some reason.  They got most of the animals out."

"Awwww.  I'll see if my wife wants to get another cat."  He went to tell the other guard, getting another pouting look back.  The actual officers looked at each other and went to call their friends while Wolfe worked the scene.  The people within the department who hated Caine weren't going to have a good day tomorrow, and there were going to be some major helpers for the pound.

***

Xander picked up Toddy as he got out of the car, smiling at him.  "You are so lucky. You've got a little sister, Elizabeth."  Toddy gave him a confused look.  "I know. You'll understand soon enough and then we can go paint the house."  He walked him inside and up to the floor his mother was on, making her squeal and take him to hold.  Toddy smiled and kissed her, cuddling her.  "See, she's just fine.  Eric's mommy wouldn't let us have him last night. She wants her newest grandbaby sooner."  He went out to talk to the nurse.  "Her son's here," he said quietly.  "When is the baby coming back?"

"We can bring her down now.  It's about time for her to eat anyway."  She called up to the nursery and Xander went back to the room.

"She'll come down soon."  He sat in the chair, smiling at Toddy.  "I told him he was very lucky to have a sister but he's not fully understanding yet."

Willow sat her son in her lap, putting his hands on her stomach.  He frowned at her.  "She's come out.  She's outside the mommy now.  She'll be coming down in a few minutes so you can pat her too."  The baby still frowned. "You'll see soon."  The nurse walked in with the baby and handed her to Willow.  "See, Toddy.  This is your sister Elizabeth."  Her son leaned closer, poking her on the forehead. "She's asleep," she assured him.  "Xander?"  He came over to sit behind him and hold him.  "This is Liz, she's your sister."

Xander whispered in his ear, getting a giggle and Toddy hugged her.  The baby kicked at him.  "See, told you it was the same beast who kicked you for the last few months.  What do you think, isn't she pretty?"  Toddy smiled at them and kissed her.  "Good boy.  Now, let the mommy feed her."  He patted him on the back, pulling him back down the bed.  The nurse smiled at them and left them alone.  "At least Eric understands more stuff," he said, looking away when she bared her chest.

"Mooo!" Toddy said, standing up to bounce.  "Mooooo!"

"I'm not a cow," Willow said firmly. "When did you start to stand?"

"Probably with Eric last night."  He pulled him back down and he crawled up to cuddle them both.  "That's a good boy."  He took a picture of them, grinning at her.  "See, Toddy, I told you you were a lucky boy.  You get a baby sister."  Ryan walked in with food for his wife and kissed his son on the head, smiling at him.  "I hear congratulations are in order."

"They are.  By five whole votes."  He grinned at him.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  He patted the baby on the bed. "C'mere, show daddy your new trick."  Toddy got up, making Willow moan and grunt.

Ryan caught him and kissed him. "Another great milestone, my son.  I'm so proud!"

Toddy beamed at him and pointed at his mother.  "Moo!"

"No, she doesn't make milk in a cup.  Can we borrow the animals book and tape?"

"Sure, it's at the house."  He stood up and winked.  "Want him?"

"Sure, I can handle my brilliant son."  He kissed him again, getting a smile. "Good boy.  Let's go clean up so we can help mommy nibble while she feeds Lizzie."  He took his son to help him clean up.

Xander winked, handing over the hershey bar he had snuck in.  Then he left them alone.  He walked out of the OB section and paused, then turned around and headed back, pulling the nurse over to let her look out the window.  "I believe that's a tech nine.  I may be mistaken, but I believe it is."   She got free and went to call the security teams.  Xander looked at her.  "Do these lock?"

"No!"

"Crap."  He leaned back in Ryan's room. "Get her and the kids in the bathroom," he ordered calmly.  Ryan gave him a look.  "Idiots with guns, Ryan.  Next section over."

"Okay.  Willow, dear?"  She muttered but headed that way with the babies, closing and locking the door.  He looked at Xander.  "Tell me you're carrying."

"Me?" he asked, handing his over.  Ryan clearly wasn't.  "I'm a good boy."

"Usually," he agreed dryly, calling Horatio.  "We're at the hospital and there's guys with guns here.  Xander spotted one in the next section."  Xander nodded.  "Any idea what?"

"Masks, and tech nines."

"Masks and tech nines."  He nodded.  "I have his actually.  They're safe."  He hung up, hearing a gunshot.  "Crap.  By any chance you can't summon body armor?"  Xander concentrated then shook his head.  "Double crap.  Stay."  He looked out the door then sighed and walked out, badge in place.  "MDPD, freeze!" he called, diving out of the way.  "Don't do that!  How stupid are you!  This is still a hospital!"  He looked at the nurse next to him.  "Rooms, lock, keep them out.  Even if they get the drugs, they can't get the patients."  She nodded, going to send that order and do the room nearest them.  Ryan raised up and shot one.  "And body armor, I'm having a blessed day."

Xander sighed and snuck down the hall, locking a few of the doors and sealing them in.  They could get into the rooms.  He came to the drug cabinet and groaned, heading off again.  He saw a nurse and nodded.  "I got them."

"One of them's in labor."

"Then card it."  She ducked down at another shot, then she scurried that way with him behind her, letting him get her into the room.  She sealed that room.  Xander headed back to Willow's room, nodding.  "They're safe.  I'm in here."  She nodded.  Xander prayed for a weapon, any weapon, but nothing was coming.  Okay.  He was on his own.  He called Horatio.  "I love you.  Ryan's out there with my gun.  They've got body armor.  Most of the rooms are sealed."  One of the guys came to the door so he hung up and grabbed him, kicking his ass manually.  "Idiot.  You dare come near pregnant women!  You think I'm bad, I'm saving you from much worse, buddy.  Pregnant women scare even me!"  The man groaned. "Good!"  Another one ran in, gun pointed at him.  Xander tackled him back into the hallway, then grabbed the gun and shot two of them in the leg.

"Thanks," Ryan called.  "Danny's going to have that 'not a cop, Xander' talk with you again?"

"Probably.  But not if no one tells him."  A guy in a uniform came in so he didn't come near him.  "Ryan, uniform guy?"

"Yeah, and it's not on right," he said, raising up. "You are?"

"Um...."  He aimed at Ryan, who tapped his badge.  The guy backed up.  "Him?"

"Caine's Husband.  Try it."  He turned and ran.  Ryan called that one in.  "We've got a white guy in a rental cop uniform, black pants, proper shirt but off color, running for the hills out of the OB unit," he reported.  He listened. "This is him.   We appear clear on this unit."  He hung up and looked at Xander.  "Down."  Xander dropped the gun and went to check on the nurses.  "Thank you," he said quietly.

"Not a problem."  The nurses came out to help their patients and a few went for the gunmen.

"Handcuff or otherwise bind them," Ryan ordered.  "I don't have any on me."  He frowned as Horatio ran in.  "Hi."

"Hi yourself."  He looked around, then into Willow's room since it was the only open one. "What happened?"

"I tried to leave," Xander admitted.  "Someone on high wasn't happy with that idea.  She's in the bathroom with the kids."

"Thank you.  Are you all right, Ryan?"  Ryan nodded, going to get his wife out of the bathroom and check them over.  "Xander," Horatio said calmly, looking him over.

"That's my gun he's using."

"Thank you for that sensibility."

Eric looked around as he came in.  "How many defenders?"

"Ryan," Xander said, pointing.  He kissed Horatio.  "Let me get Toddy and them."

"If they can go," he ordered calmly.  He watched his mate go, finding Ryan walking her out.  "Are they checked out?"

"Do I care?" he countered.

"Probably not," he agreed.  "That's fine.  They can be taken back to our house by Xander."  He looked at the men in there, then at his mate.  "Where were you?"  He pointed in there.  "And this gun that was fired?"

Ryan snorted.  "Two leg shots.  I was kinda pinned behind the desk."  He handed Toddy to Xander.  "Go.  Now."  He nodded, walking them off.  The nurses started to yell and Ryan glared.  They quit.  "I will sign them out."  One of them got him the paperwork.  He was more than happy to sign it for them while the others did their thing around the floor.

***

Xander pulled into his driveway, getting out.  "Melody, you're early."  He walked around to help Willow out.  Then he got the baby.  "Come on."  He walked them inside.  "Go rest in our bed, Willow."  He pointed it out for her and she went that way with the kids.  "Sorry, they nearly got attacked in the hospital."

"That's...."  She looked then at him.  "I suppose that's fine, Xander.  I know I'm a bit early but a group of us are going to help with the animals. Can you come?"

"I was going to go over either today or tomorrow.  I dropped off money and food last night."  He hugged her.  "We got tagged last night too."

"I saw that."  She patted him on the cheek then looked at the dog sniffing her.  "Hello, dear."  She let him sniff her.  "What's your name?"

"Percival.  He just came from the pound."  He sat down to pet him.  "If her husband comes up sooner I'll be there.  If not, I'll go up tomorrow.  Horatio wanted me out of the limelight this time."

"That's fine," she promised, petting him like she had the dog.  Xander grinned at her for it.  "You are very focused on your family, as you should be."   She gave him a pat.  "Now, about this blessing ceremony?"  He went to get the plans, showing it to her.  "That's a charming get together."

"It's for other wiccans and our family," he admitted, grinning at her.  "I promised I wouldn't be poaching more of her guests."

"She did say that, yes."  She looked it over.  "All the necessities.  Tent, food, drinks, seating?"

"Came with the tents."

"Okay.  Cake?"  He nodded, handing over that sheet.  "Good.  Very nice.  Everything you'll need for the blessing itself?"  He nodded, handing that over.  "Very well done."  He preened at that.  The door slammed and she noticed he flinched. "I'm sure he won't yell much."

"I picked up a gun and shot at someone trying to kill us," he admitted quietly.

"Yes, I heard you did," Horatio agreed as he walked in.  "Xander."

"He needed the help."

"He did," he agreed.  "Which means I also need a report from you.  Where is Willow?"

"Our bed with the kids."  Percy barked.  "Yeah, and you're here too," he promised, smiling at him.  He patted him. "I'll gladly write out a report, Horatio."

"Yes, you will."  He frowned at him.  "You took a big risk."

"For a good reason."

"One of the nurses told Eric about the joke."

"Ryan needed to calm down."

"Uh-huh."  Horatio looked at him, making Xander shrink and look pitiful.  "Sit down at the table and write out a report.  Using proper grammar and all that."  Xander slunk out there to do that.  He looked at Melody.  "Has he been good otherwise?"

"Usually he's a very good boy, Horatio. You know he'll defend her."

"I do.  Doesn't mean it's a good thing when he puts himself in danger.  Do we need to bring anything to the polo match Saturday?"

"Bring a lunch for the both of you but don't be surprised if you're invited to dine with someone else."  She got up and patted him on the cheek, making him smile.  "You're very good to him but you should be holding him and making sure he's fine, not chastising him."

"If he was injured, I'd expect him to tell me."  He smiled at her, leading her out to the dining area where boy and dog were at the table.  "Xander, are you all right?"

Xander gave him a look, looking very confused.  "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because people shot at you, dear," Melody reminded him.

"Uh-huh, but if I got shot, I'd be whining about it slightly."  He shrugged.  "Probably a loud ow and some ranting about my shirt."

"He's bad about that sort of thing," Horatio told her.  "He likes to refuse pain killer too."

"Yes, but we adore him because he can defend us and be quite manly but none of the husbands mind him."

"I understand but I would like to keep him around for a very long time," he said patiently.  "He is mine and I am possessive."  She giggled and blushed.  "That as well."  Xander blushed at that.  "But never in public."

"Good man."  She patted him on the cheek.  "Xander, we'll add you in tomorrow, when all the glory hounds are out of the way, all right?"  He nodded, smiling at her.  He even gave her a hug.  "Thank you, dear.  I'll let you play with your puppy and your husband fuss."  She looked at his arm, frowning when her hand came away sticky.  "Well, it appears he was correct after all."

"No, that's an older one.  It split open," he said grimly, going back to his report.  Horatio took his shirt off him and looked at his arm. "See, told you it was the old injury popping open."

"How did you get that?"

"Oh, that was defending Marisol," Melody said, smiling at him.  "She tripped and he caught her but the sharp and pointy statue bit him as he put it with the sheepish grin for the owner."

"Ah."  He looked over the injury.  "That will need some attention."

"Butterflies?"

"I should tell Speed.  Or Alexx."

Xander gave him the most pitiful look. "I will give you a blow job every day for the rest of our lives if you don't let them fuss over a scratch like that."

Horatio smirked. "You'd do it anyway."  Xander groaned.  He called Marisol.  "Marisol, I need someone to come watch over Xander and Willow, plus the children.  No, they're at our house."

"And I've got to cover the graffiti," Xander called.

"Plus someone to deal with his shoulder.  That would be fine.  Of course they can.  Thank you, Marisol."  He hung up.  "Everyone's coming over to meet Elizabeth."  Xander nodded, giving him a patient look.  "Behave.  Melody, can I walk you out?"

"Of course, Horatio. You're an adoring husband."  She let him lead him out. "I'll try to keep him out of the press, but you know how horrible they can be."

"Oh, I do.  Someone caught him jogging."

"Yes, and quite a picture it was," she assured him with a giggle.  She patted him on the hand and got into the back of her car.  "We're heading home, Merle."

Horatio waved as she drove off.  Then he went back inside to check on Willow for Ryan.  She and the kids were cuddled together reading.

"Mooooo!" Toddy said, pointing at mommy with an awed look.

"I'll get that book and tape," he promised, going to find it while Xander finished his report.  He looked it over and took the pen to correct his grammar, handing it back.  "Now, type it for me please and print it out."  Xander sighed and went to do that.  "Thank you."  He put in the tape and handed her the remotes with the book.

***

Eric's family piled out of the various cars, bringing Xander's son with them.  "Xander?" she called, hearing the dog barking from the back yard.

"Painting over the bigoted people's spouting," he called from the side of the house.  They headed that way.

"Get down here, son.  You don't do that very well," Eric's father chided.

He looked at him. "It's only the first coat."  Two of Eric's brothers got him down and got to work on it.  "Don't walk in the back yard.  It's a bit dug up after they poured cow's blood on it.  He was going to put a doll but he got caught first."  He led them onto the back porch and released the dog, letting him come up to sniff everyone.  He followed the baby inside.  "Eric!" he cooed, picking him up to cuddle.

"Sweaty!  Eww!"

"Sorry.  Come see who I have in our room," he said, walking him into the bedroom.  He pointed. "See, that's Toddy's little sister Elizabeth.  You have to be *really* gentle with her, like you were when Toddy was born."  He walked him over, holding him so he could look at her.

Eric wiggled down and gently touched her cheek, then kissed her before pouncing Toddy, making him giggle.

"Take it outside so we can nap," Willow ordered tiredly. The boys ran off together.  She looked at him.  "Why are you sweaty?"

"I was painting."  She groaned.  "Okay, I was trying to paint."  He took the baby out there, letting everyone coo and look at her. "This is Elizabeth, the newest baby Wolfe.  Stupid people tried to shoot up the OB ward today.  She got to come home early."

"Moo!" Toddy said, nodding.

"That's right, your mother is feeding her."  Marisol giggled and took the baby back into the other room, her mother following to fuss over Willow.   He looked at the boys and the dog.  "Play nicely."  He looked at the rest of the family.  "Okay, I've got to go fix the back yard too.  Have fun, watch tv, spoil the Willow and the Liz."  He shrugged and headed out, the dog and the boys following.

"What happened to your shoulder?" Eric's father yelled.

"Sharp, pointy art when your daughter tripped.  I'm fine. It reopened."

"Daddy, sweaty, eww!" Eric complained.  The rest of the family went out to protect the boys from the sweaty father.

***

Eric walked Horatio and Ryan into the house, letting Ryan loose when he saw Willow and her daughter on the couch.  He looked at his family. "Where did you lock Xander?"

"The bedroom. He's napping."  His mother kissed him on the cheek and walked past him to shove Horatio that way.  "Eric wore out the dog already.  Toddy and he are napping in his room.  Ray Jr. is here to do the books.  Go wake your man up."  He nodded, going to do that.  She looked at her son. "He's hopeless at painting and his son refuses to help outside."

"Eric's at that age where sweating is bad," Marisol shared, smiling at her brother.  He grinned at that.  "It's all fixed though."

"Good.  Anything exciting happen?"

"The bigot's wife showed up and was scared off my momma.  Crying no less."

Horatio came out.  "What did she want?"

"To complain about how you had her husband arrested and about harboring illegal aliens."

Horatio shook his head, going back into the bedroom.  He came out once he got Xander into the shower, since he was still sweaty, and went into the office.  "Ray."  Ray handed something over.  "What's that?"

"The first time he's went outside his interest."  He looked at him.  "Not that I disagree."  He shrugged.  "Thought he'd want to know.  By the way, have you thought about doing some renovations?  It's nice and all but it could be better."  Horatio gave him a long look.  Ray looked back. "It could be.  It's a very basic house.  You can always stay in the other one for a few days while the bathtub is replaced and the shower head.  Plus the back yard."

"We don't need to remodel, Ray."

"No, but you could."

"But we don't need to," he reminded him, leaving the office.  "Has New York called?"

"Don called out a 'what the fuck' but then had to hang up because Mac was coming."

"I'll have Xander call him later."

"Good idea."  Ray went back to his books, finding all the little things that Xander bought so he could keep track of his on-hand cash too.  His uncle had wanted him to.  He came out and handed him the account book, getting a nod when it was done.  "Not too bad."

"No, not too bad," he agreed quietly.  "Thank you, Ray."

"Not a problem, Uncle H."  He went back to the office, dealing with everything in there.  Then he came out to eat.  Horatio went to get Xander out of the shower, finding him back asleep. "Is he having a relapse?"

"No, he's just tired," Horatio promised, letting him go back to sleep. "Has he went to see Madison?"

"Yeah, right before you sent him off. He's due back tomorrow afternoon.  We're going to see if she can help us at the pound.  She's probably going to be able to brush cats or something."

"If the doctors say it's all right," Horatio agreed patiently.  He went back to the office to call Don.  "You called earlier?"

"I did," he agreed.  "What happened?"

"Willow had the baby.  People went onto the OB ward to shoot people for drugs.  Xander picked up a fallen gun and helped Ryan."

"Ah.  That's not what I was talking about.  The pound?"

"It looks like someone put some cherry bombs into the furnace, causing it to explode."

"Wonderful.  They need help?"

"Some of the local heirs and matrons have been doing that."

"That's fine.  How's Xander?"

"Sleeping.  He's had a busy day."

"I bet.  He down there?"

"Guarding Willow and fixing the house back up after someone tagged it."

"Yeah, got that email and pictures.  He okay?"

"We're fine, Don."

"Good.  We'll be down for the baptism thing and the board meeting."  Horatio moaned.  "Haven't gotten through them yet?"

"I have.  He has.  I have no idea where they are."  Ray walked in and opened a cabinet drawer, then walked out again.  "Ray is a very good assistant."

"I bet."  He chuckled.  "Danny's here making faces.  Anything you guys need?"

"Not yet.  Xander and I are hitting a polo match Saturday and going riding Sunday.  So if you come down then, you'll have some time alone."

"That's fine.  It's a good, coupleish thing to do. I like that.  Good idea, Horatio."  Don hung up, leaving his meaning very clear to Horatio.

Ray came back in. "There's two major purchases that haven't come in yet and I don't know what they both are.  So just be aware that they're big."

"Airfare for the group big?"

"Airfare is one of them but it's from Sunnydale.  The other?  Not a clue."

"I'll keep that in mind. How expensive?"

"One's on his card and it'll post tonight.  That's the airfare.  The other came out of the excess cash in the safe."

"Going over every once in a while is fine," Horatio reminded him.  "Every month is not."

"It's the first month, Uncle Horatio.  I have no idea other than it's to spoil himself somehow."  Horatio nodded, leaving it there.  "Don't nag him either.  He'll go sleep on the couch with the dog."

"I know how to treat my husband."

"Then go be cute with him.  He's moping."  Horatio went that way, going to play with his mate in the bedroom.  "Sometimes I wonder if the spoiling genes came from the other side of the family after all."

Horatio laid down behind Xander, pulling him closer.  "Don called."

"Why?"

"To make sure you hadn't brought home more of the pound."  He gave him a cuddle.  "Not hungry?" Xander shook his head.  "Why not?"

"Just not."

"Did I nag too much?"

"No, I'm not having a social day."

"That's fine.  I've had those too.  Ray said you went over your interest."  Xander groaned.  "It's the first time and it was for a good reason," he assured him, giving a squeeze.  "But I did wonder what the other big cash purchase was."

"I'm spoiling myself."

"With?"

"A new tub at the other house.  I redid the master bathroom."

"Can we see?"  Xander looked back at him.  "I would like to see.  Ray suggested we do this one."

"That's because Ray wants to steal the other one."

"Ray will have to find a way to afford the other one," Horatio reminded him. "I would like to see."  Xander shrugged.  "Want to take the tunnel?"

"Not with this many people in the house."

"That's fine."  He got him up and redressed, then they snuck out their door onto the porch, heading up the beach, holding hands.

Eric grinned at the sight. "Finally.  Get a clue, H.  Your boy needs to be spoiled and pampered, he's having a pouting week."  His father came out and he pointed. "They're going for a stroll."

"Good, about time.  I noticed Xander was acting like Marisol when she's pouting."

Eric nodded. "He doesn't have many of these moments, but Horatio didn't catch this one too quickly," he agreed quietly.  "Now he's working on it.  Xander needs a lot of attention at times."

"Oh.  My.  God," floated up the beach from the other house.

"Ah, he found the remodeling project," Eric said wisely, looking at his father.  "Did he go through you for that?"  That got a nod.  "It good?"

"That boy spoiled himself horribly with that bathroom.  I've seen smaller spas."  He went back inside.

Eric followed.  "What did he put in?"

Ray came out of the office. "You know that spa at the home show that we all stared at and said 'I want that in our backyard'?"  Eric grinned and nodded.  "It's his bathtub.  He's got a freestanding shower that you can about wheel a gurney into with multiple heads.  The toilet has it's own room as well. There's a nice bench in there.  Towel rack with a small dryer in there."

"How do you know?" Marisol asked, frowning at him.

"I've got the security footage pulled up."  They ran for the office to look.  He looked at Eric's dad. "Did Di pick out the wallpaper?  I think she's got that same pattern in her bedroom."

"She did.  He was having problems matching the colors."

"Ah.  That reason," Ray said wisely. "It came out great."

"Thank you, Ray," he said proudly.

Horatio came in and hugged him.  "Thank you, Mr. Delko."  He went back out. "We're staying over there tonight, turn off the security cameras."  He closed the door and headed back up the beach with the dog following.  He let the dog in then sealed the house up and manually turned off the cameras.  Including the one to the guard shack. Then he went to play with his mate, who was soaking in their new tub.  Now he knew why Ray had mentioned remodeling the other house's bathroom.  He stripped down and slid into the jacuzzi next to his mate, stretching out on the reclined seat.  Xander was in one of the other ones.  They joined hands and just relaxed, happy and content.  "We still on for riding Sunday?"

"We are," Xander agreed quietly. "I know I spoiled myself...."

Horatio kissed him.  "Shut up, Xander.  I'm not going to complain about a bit of spoiling.  You do have the money to do that. I only complain when I think you're spending too much too fast."  Xander nodded, resting his head on his mate's shoulder.  "I think this is way over my budget but this is your house and if you wanted to spend money like this to spoil yourself then I'm all for it."  He gave the hand a squeeze.  "Besides, I can't complain because I'm going to be over here after the bad days and letting you spoil me more."  Xander grinned at that.  "Ray mentioned remodeling the other bathrooms.  Nothing this grand, but I can see us doing a bit of it."

"Eric's dad did it for me."

"I'll talk with him tomorrow about making our tub bigger and better.  We can put that one in the other bathroom."

"Love you."

"Never doubt that I love you, Xander."  He gave the hand another squeeze.  "We need a mini fridge in here for the nights when all we want to do is cuddle."  Xander sat up and opened up a small panel, showing a mini bar set and mini-fridge, plus a built in toaster oven that could not fall into the water and electrocute them.  "I stand corrected," he said, sounding amused.  "Thank you."  He got into the fridge, getting some water, handing a soda over to Xander, who put it down and snuggled into his lap to cuddle.  Horatio used a foot to close the doors to the bar area, then relaxed, holding him for now.  It was what they both needed.  He heard someone sneak in an hour later, listening to them in the kitchen.  Then the dog started to chew on something so apparently Eric or Ryan had snuck in to feed Percival for them, and they closed the front door on the way out.  "Nice of them," he murmured.

"Very," Xander agreed, snuggling in better.  "Can you take a vacation soon?"

"I can," he agreed.  "Or at least a few days off together.  What did you want to do?"

"Nothing."

"As in lay around the house and do nothing or you don't have plans?"

"Both."

"Do you want to plan something?"  Xander shook his head.  "Want me to?"   Xander looked up at him.  "I can plan things like vacations, Xander."  He smoothed over his back. "If that's what it'll take to make you happy, I will."  Xander smiled shyly.  "I know, you have these moods where you want to be horribly spoiled.  It's how you check that I still love you.  I don't mind them.  I do love you and I want to spoil you back."  He took a gentle kiss.  "Where did you want to go?"

"I don't know."

"Did you want to visit LA?"

"No.  No no nonono."

"Okay."  He smiled.  "Did you want to stay in Miami and do something or go to another city?  Did you want to visit New York together this time?"

"No," he said with a pout.  "How about we save up days for a really good, long vacation this summer, when it gets really badly hot?"

"I've got about two weeks of vacation left, even after the chicken pox time off."

"He made you use it?"  Horatio nodded. "Meany."

"I've got more."  He ran a hand down Xander's back, then looked at the controls.  "No automatic water warmer?"

"Nope, the only thing it didn't come with.  It has a heater."  He turned that on and the jets came up, making them both groan in pleasure.  The dog came in and drank from the tub, then went to lay down on the bench.

Horatio found the remote control for the tub and turned the heater setting down so it'd be a warm tub and not a hottub.  Xander got comfortable in his lap again and they laid there for a while longer.  Horatio was feeling well and truly spoiled now.  He looked down, seeing Xander asleep, one hand fisted in his chest hair, the other between them.  He smiled and finished his water, shifting minutely until the jet caught his back perfectly to ease the small lump of tension he had from earlier. He let himself drift off that way, smiling in pleasure when Xander snored.  It felt good to him.  That's why he wasn't very happy when the dog's barking woke him up.  Not just any barking but angry, going to eat you barking.  He shifted Xander off to the side and got out of the tub, drying off quickly.  His gun was in his holster still so he snuck downstairs with it in his hand, finding the dog growling at two guys in all black with black masks and crossbows.  He hit the emergency button on the alarm, and then swung into the open.  "Miami-Dade PD, don't move."  One of them froze, the other pulled up his crossbow to take aim.

Unfortunately, he didn't get to see Eric behind him.  He got him down and cuffed before the guy could do more than protest being hit.  The other guy tried to run and Eric got him in the leg.  "What part of don't move don't you get!" he said hotly.

"Eric, what happened?"

"Dumber and dumbass's other partner stupid broke into the other house looking for you and Marisol.  Ryan unfortunately beat one of them when they started talking Watcher over Willow and her daughter.  So, he fell down the stairs."  He went to get that one and drag him back.

Xander came down in his bathrobe, handing Horatio one.  He pulled up the first guy, slamming him into a wall, and opened his hand, showing him something.  He snapped it open and the guy started to struggle. "Why are you here?"

"We want you back!"

"I don't care!  Who sent you?"

"Travers!" he gasped, starting to cry.  "Please!"

"Tough shit.  You endangered my family.  Do you think I'm going to take this lightly?"  He put it down his shirt, glaring at him.  "Have fun with that."  Then he put him back onto the floor and walked out and up the street, pointing at the house. "Kitchen.  Watch out for the steaming thing on the one guy, he said it's demonic."  He walked into the other house, finding everyone up.  "We all good?"  Everyone nodded.  "We sure? Kids and all?"  Ryan nodded from where he was sitting with the two boys. "Good.  Tell Willow I used one of the sticks."  He looked at the boys, smiling at them.  "It's all right, guys.  I'm going to make sure the Watchers don't ever come back."  He patted Eric on the head, getting a smile.  Toddy grinned too.  "Good boys.  We'll be back in the morning, guys.  Can Uncle Ryan still watch you?"

Eric looked up.  "Story?"

"Sure, I can tell a good story."  He looked at Xander.  "Stay calm."

"Fuck calm."  He went back to the other house, going to call someone.  "Hola," he said in greeting.  "There's a commando team here.  Travers sent them. No, I'm pissed," Xander assured him.  "Please do."  He opened up his laptop and input a code, getting a program no one ever really saw.  He input the number while he waited.  "Travers, Harris.  I found your present.  Gotta say, I didn't need body slaves. Pity about the one I used the snap stick that steals souls on.  But oh well.  You sent them after my husband and my son.   Committing suicide would probably be for the best, before I bring down the Watcher's Council.  After all, you just attacked the Miami-Dade police department."  He hung up and finished the inputting, getting a 'ready' screen.  He considered it for all of two minutes, then hit enter and watched it run.

"What is that?" Horatio asked from the doorway.

"Proof Willow has mood swings even when she's not pregnant.  By the way, you'll want deniability if the Brits come.  I wouldn't come in any farther."  Horatio came over anyway to look then he moaned.  "Told you so."

"You did.  Will it attack anyone else?"

"Nope.  Just their mainframe. Pity about that but they came near you and my son."  The computer put up a screen asking to go to stage two.  "Do I want to bankrupt them?"  Horatio shook his head.  Xander looked up.  "Am I sure?"

"Yes, you do," Willow called as she walked in.  "Leave it before the end of stage three."  She came in and hit the enter key, then input a command. The virus ended after changing their account numbers, spitting out the new ones for their use.  Then she logged off the system and removed it.  "That was mean."

"I don't care," Xander admitted.  "Do you?"

"Well, no."  She looked at Horatio.  "We never saw you here if we're asked."  She unplugged the laptop and walked it away too.  "I'll clean this of all traces and bring it back.  Go back to your tub.  I'll make another snap stick tonight."

"Thanks, Wills."  Xander got up and looked at Horatio. "I hate having to prove things."

"I don't like it either."  The cops gave him a nod as they drug their suspects off.  He went to lock up the house and joined Xander back in their tub, the dog with them.  He would ask him more about that tomorrow.  He wasn't sure he wanted to know what had just happened.

***

Deputy Director Fornell was waiting on him when he walked in the next morning.  "More problems with your agency?"  They had some respect for each other but that didn't mean the snarling Fed was the thing he most wanted to see first thing in the morning.

"That depends on who did what to a bank in Atlanta."

Horatio looked clueless.  "Why would we know?  This is Miami."

"Because it looked a lot like one of your pet hackers, Caine."

Horatio led him off to the side.  "What happened?" he asked quietly.

"There's this secretive group in Britain that's suddenly been exposed and all their money stolen, including three accounts at a bank in Atlanta.  Now, doing a word search on this group got them the town of Sunnydale.  So therefore they called us.  The only *known* hacker from Sunnydale is Mrs. Wolfe."

"Actually, Willow's ex Oz was one too," Ryan said as he walked up to them.  "Pity about the Watcher's Council coming after our families to kill both my kids, myself, Horatio, and their children to get Willow and Xander back.  I hope their classmates had fun playing with the Council.  By the way, my wife wanted to know if they did take DNA off her or not.  She's incredibly worried that they're into cloning or creating a mini-her."  Horatio looked at him.  "Her doctor got her medical records and wanted to know why someone had done abdominal surgery two years ago, right before she left, when there was no cause to do so."  He looked at Fornell again, seeing the horrified look.  "They only changed the account numbers.  They have a list.  It got sent to them."

"Will they hand it over?"

"Will you protect them?" Ryan countered.

"I doubt they're going to be doing very much anymore."

"Pity.  Next time maybe they won't try to kill our kids."  He handed over the folded sheet.  "That's what they were changed to.  If they're not still there, it's a different source."

He looked them over, then at him.  "That's still illegal."

"Hmm, my kids and my life.  Horatio and his children's lives.  Versus changing account numbers and exposing a group of assholes who want to rule the world from underneath everything and do so by taking control of certain young women's lives, including and up to taking them away from their parents and making them into commandos.  Hmmm."  He stared him down.

"Point," he admitted dryly, shaking his head.  "I'll let the higher ups know it's still within the bank.  Thank you for handing over this information."

"Not an issue.  Make sure they never come near us again."

Speed walked up behind him and slapped him on the back.  "The more overt members were taken down.  The covert duties are still there so the girls can be trained for their duties.  They will not be coming back.  I heard this from on high last night," he assured him.  "The DNA lab may have been destroyed.  They had a failsafe on it."  He looked at Horatio and shrugged.  "What did he spoil himself with?"

"Remodeled the bathroom at the hidden house."  He smiled.  "It's very nice."

"I figured it was for what he paid for it."  He looked at Ryan again.  "The only one you'll ever have to see again is Rupert.  All right?"

"As long as they don't come back," he agreed calmly.

"Good."  He patted him again.  "By the way, Liz is very sweet and innocent.  Try to keep her that way and not let her mommy make her a clone?"

"Oh, I'm going to.  She's going to be just like me," he said with a smile. "Toddy's standing and trying to walk."

"Congrats, man.  Remember, now you've got to finish babyproofing the house."  He walked on.  "H, got the test results back.  It added more suspects and didn't delete any.  Can I get a new pair of eyes?"

"Be right there," he agreed, looking at Ryan, then at Fornell.  "Did you need anything else, Deputy Director Fornell?"

"No.  No, I don't think I do.  They trained your husband?"

"No, he trained himself to keep up with one of their girls."

"This goes a bit deeper than just covert actions," Ryan admitted.  "Into the strange crap we all like to ignore."

"I saw.  They thought the vampires were a code."  He headed back to his car, going to call that in and fax the numbers list.  His report wasn't widely liked but he doubted anyone would be able to trace the hacking back.  That virus had been brilliant.  He headed out to Harris' house, giving the guards his ID.  "Is Mrs. Wolfe still here?"

"Probably.  I haven't seen her leave yet, Agent Fornell."  He let him in and made note of his presence.  "The tan house with green shutters please."  Fornell nodded, heading that way.

Fornell parked behind the two cars in the driveway, walking up to the door and knocking.  Eric answered it, letting him in silently.  "It was explained, relax," he said quietly. "May I speak to Mrs. Wolfe?"

"She's feeding her new daughter.  It can wait," he assured him.

"Of course."  He followed him into the kitchen, looking over when Willow walked in.  "I need a report."

"Ask the ones in custody."

"We did.  They're in custody.  The British Government wants them back, Mrs. Wolfe."  He looked at her.  He moved closer, speaking very quietly.  "However, I want to hand that virus to three people.  One of them Gibbs, one of them mine, and one who's not exactly legal."

"No."  She looked at him.  "I can't let that get out.  It's much too dangerous."

"How about just to Gibbs' man then."

"I don't know this guy."

"He's very uptight."

"So was I.  Look at me now," she countered, leaning on the counter.

"Point.  If I can bring him down to meet with you?"

"That would be dangerous," Eric noted. "She gave all that up years ago.  They could try to arrest her for that stuff."

"They only deal in Marine and Navy crimes."  He looked at her.  "As a tool."

She considered it, then shook her head.  "Still too dangerous.  It's a very powerful tool.  That was only level two.  At the third it'd have destroyed them and their computers."

"I understand.  How about I give it to Gibbs then?  You met him and Abby.  You know what they stand for.  I know you did backgrounds on him and his whole team.  I'd bet he'd vouch for McGee."

"Lord Elron?" she asked dryly.  She nodded.  "I know about him.  We've talked in the past."

"It'd go to McGee and Abby."

Xander walked in and looked at Fornell, staring him down.  "Why?"

"It'd be used against terrorist cells."

Xander looked at him, then snorted.  "And I so believe it wouldn't be used domestically by someone?"

"I'd give it to Gibbs and Abby personally," he offered.  "Them and only them."

He looked at Willow, getting a shrug.  "Do you trust his word?"

"He's a Feeb and a suit."

"He is," he agreed. "Do you trust his word?"

She considered it, then nodded.  "I'll give it to Gibbs personally."  Xander nodded at that, both of them looking at Fornell.  "Bring Gibbs, bring Lord Elron, and bring Abby.  I'll hand that over personally and show it to them.  See if they can use it ethically."

"Agreed," he assured her, making the call in front of them.

"How many viruses have you created?" Eric asked quietly.

"Oz did a few, I did a few.  Whatever was needed at the time," Willow admitted.  "I used that against the Mayor to find out his plans."  He shuddered, he had been told about graduation.  "It was kind of necessary, Eric."  She looked at Xander.  "You, mister, were taking computer classes."  He swallowed and backed up.  "Anything ever come of that?"

"Nothing not horribly flawed."

"Oh.  Pity."  She shrugged. "Make sure Horatio knows he can call on me for hacker support, all right?"  He nodded, grinning and hugging her.  "Thanks.  Eric, can I have the juice so I can get back to Princess Liz?"  He smiled and handed over two bottles, getting a nod and her heading that way.  "They're not coming here."

"Of course not. You can meet them in public," Fornell agreed.

"The college," Xander offered.  "The quad, near the ugly statue garden."  That got a nod and Fornell told him that.  Xander went to pull out his copies, spreading them out for her.  She tapped six of them and he bundled them into a CD carrier, smiling and winking before putting the others back.  He went to copy those for their personal collection and grabbed his laptop, going to bundle up his briefcase.  "I've still got to hit the pound this afternoon."

"They can't get down here until tonight anyway," Fornell offered, looking at him.  "I can go with you."

"Why?  If they try to take me, I'm going to have to fight back," he noted dryly, shrugging.  "Maybe I'll bring the dog."  He grinned. "Eric, I'm headed to the pound.  Call Suzie and tell her I'm coming to pick up Madison?"  He took his briefcase with him and headed out.

Eric smiled at Fornell.  "He's having his active day for the week.  Our pound got bombed."

"I saw that. It's good he's not one of the spoiled rich kids."  He handed him a card.  "Let me know before things like this happen."

"They attacked last night."  He shrugged.  "Go question the idiots in custody."

"We did before we handed them over.  They're not very happy people either."  He left, heading back to the local office to wait on the NCIS team.

***

Xander smiled as Madison ran out and got into the car.  "I have a treat for you."

"Really?  What sort?" she asked, buckling herself in.

"I got you cleared to help me with the animals that the pound saved."  She squealed.  "So you can't do much, but I've been told you could brush and pet all you wanted and to make them play and relax."  He backed out with a honk for Suzie, heading to where the pound now was.  He pulled up to the gate guard.  "Harris, here to help out.  This is Madison, she's helping make them pretty for the adoption fair later."  That got written down.  "If Melody Carson asks, I'm here."  He drove back and parked, making her look at him.  "You can ask your mom nicely later if you can bring one home.  How you do today will show her how big you and if you can take care of something.  If you don't think you can handle it, we'll talk about a turtle or fish or something, okay?"  She nodded, smiling at him.  "Okay."  He got out, walking her that way, turning on his alarm.  "Hi, Harris and Madison to help."

The volunteer coordinator smiled at them. "I think it's great you brought her.  Do you have a dog, sweetie?"

"Not yet, but if I do really good today I can use it to beg better."

"That's a good plan," he agreed.  "Well, we need to get some of the dogs ready for the adoption fair."

"She's good at brushing, braiding, and tying bows," Xander agreed. "I can give nearly anything a bath."

"That's fine.  We'll stick you two together."  He walked them back to the bathing area, smiling at the frazzled person back there.

"Sit!" Xander ordered.  The dog and the person sat, looking at him. "Good girl."  He came over to help.  "Madison, I want you in my sight at all times, okay?"  She nodded, going over to help with the one being groomed.  He grinned at the young woman.  "Hi, I'm Xander."  He shook her hand.  "Let's get him cleaned up and then she can help dry and make pretty."  She smiled and let him handle the large sheepdog.  "Ooooh, who's the poor baby with too much hair for this heat," he cooed, getting him back into the tub to finish bathing him. "Is this flea shampoo?"

"It is, just in case."  She pulled over something smaller that she could handle. "Can you clip claws?"

"Don't know, never done it," he admitted.  He grinned at her. "My husband bought me a dog from the pound just over a week ago.  It's my first one."  He went back to rinsing him off, wincing when he shook off.  "Hey!"  He went back to rinsing him.  "Work with me here, doggy.  That way you'll be clean and pretty and maybe someone will take you home."  He got him totally rinsed off and toweled, clipping back on the leash so he could be led off. He looked at the doberman being led out. "I'll take him."

"He bites."

"That's fine.  I've got a toddler who moos."  He took the leash and looked at the dog, making him look away.  "Good boy."  He led him over, getting him into the tub.  He tied the leash down to the tub's handle, looking at him again.  "You're a good boy," he said quietly, stroking over his head.  "Good boy.  This won't hurt.  I'm a nice daddy person," he soothed, wetting him down starting back with his tail.  The dog growled, so he stared him down again.  The dog whimpered. "I've got you.  It won't hurt."  He petted him gently.  "I've got you.  I promise I've got you."  The dog let him wash his back end, then his middle but his head there wasn't any way.  Xander looked over.  "Dry shampoo?"  A bottle was tossed over.  "Good boy," he soothed, working it into his fur.  "You're a good boy.  This is good for you."  He brushed it out and gave him one last rinse, smiling when he shook himself.  "Good job!  Let's go."

He undid the leash and lead him over to towel him off himself since the dog wasn't going to attack him.  The dog growled at the sound of the dryers.  "Shh, it's all right."  He led him further away and got to work on him, making him stay calm.  "I've got you. You're a good boy.  No, Madison.  He's stressed.  He's got flashbacks to mean people."  She nodded, going to help with one of the smaller dogs.  He finished combing through the short fur, working on his ears.  The dog groaned and went into his lap, letting him pat his belly.  "Good boy."  He smiled and scratched him there, just between his front legs.  "There, how's that?"  He got him standing and looked him over, then at the watching kennel attendant.  "How was he hurt?"

"We think they tried to obedience train him by electro shock."

"It shows.  The dryer spooked him.  He's going to need someone very calm and understanding in a very quiet house.  By the way, no water on his head."  She nodded, taking him back.  "He can be saved."

"I know," she promised, smiling at him.  "He's going to be fostered out to a farm setting first."

"He might like horses."  He went back to work, taking the next big monster of a dog since he was the only guy working on this team.  No one else could handle the great danes and hyper dogs.  "Sit," he ordered, pushing her down.  "Stay sitting."  The dog stood up.  "No, sit!"  He pushed her back down, like the obedience trainer had taught him on Percy.  "Sit."  He looked at the dog.  "Good girl."  He petted her then got to work. Her fur was a mess of mud, brambles, and knots.  "Can we trim her?"

"Once she's clean," someone else yelled.  "Is she your daughter?"

"My husband's niece."  He smiled at Madison.  "So that makes her mine."  She giggled and ran over to hug him then went back to braiding a pretty ribbon into a longer furred dog's mop.  Xander got back to work on his dog.  "No, sit!" he ordered, pushing her tail back down.  "Good girl."  He got her clean but still knotted, bringing her over to hold her while they clipped the long, matted fur. She shivered in his arms so he held her more tightly, letting her get warm off his body heat.  Then they dried her and Madison came over to brush her and put a ribbon around her neck.  Xander went back to his next dog, continuing on.

"Xander, you're a wreck!" Melody complained.

He looked back at her, getting splashed by an escape attempt.  He caught the dog and put him back into the tub, going back to cleaning him.  "Of course I am.  They're wet and they have fur."  He gave her a look and got back to it.  "They're doing an adoption fair today.  They need to be bathed and made pretty."  He looked at the dog in front of him when he yelped, moving his hand.  "Um, bleeding!" he called, bringing the kennel keeper.  He rinsed her off and grabbed the clippers, doing the side he had been working on.  "Ow.  Part of the blast?"

"Possibly. You're good."

"I've had similar injuries in the past," he admitted.  He undid the leash and carried the dog off for her, letting her put him into a cage by himself until they could get someone with some vet training.

Melody came in with her son-in-law.  "He plays polo and they have to help their horses now and then.  Can he take a look?"

"Sure," the kennel keeper agreed, getting out of the way.

Xander nudged him, handing over the clippers.  "In case you need them.  She yelped when I was working in the shampoo.  She didn't growl or try to snap though."

"Thank you.  Do I know you?"

"I'm Xander."  He grinned. "Just a messy one."  He went to get a bottle of water and came back, finding Madison not where she should be.  "Madison!"   She came out of the building.  He gave her a look and she shrugged, pointing.  "What's up?"

"Puppies!"  He walked that way, going to look with her.  "She's giving birth."

"So she is.  Yo, got one in labor," he called.  He walked her back.  "They like privacy, it makes it easier for them."  He held onto her while she watched and made gross faces, but then she cooed when the puppy coughed.  "That's puppy birth.  Girl birth wasn't too much different but Willow had helpers and she didn't have to lick the baby."  She giggled and walked out with him.  "In there.  In the hay."  The kennel attendant went to check and then tell someone.  He smiled at her.  "You get to tell your mom."

"Of course."  She went back to helping, finding a new little lap dog being played with.  "Oooh, you're cute.  You belong in one of those society bags."

"If I knew anyone who doesn't have one I'd call," Melody assured her, going back to grooming her.  "All the young ones I know already have one."

"One is good but they get lonely.  You could suggest they get a second one."

She smiled.  "You're a very smart young lady, Madison."  She patted her on the head and pulled out her headset, putting it on to start calling.  "Patricia, *dear*, it's Melody.  No, we're helping get some dogs ready for the adoption fair today and I know your daughter has a dog, but there's some absolutely *adorable* ones that would keep hers from being so bored and chewing on her bed again.  Yes, I think it could help that.  Well, no harm in *looking* surely.  Besides, the poor things do need a home.  It's going to be months before they get the new pound built.  As a responsible pet owner we should support them.  No, I'm grooming a little furry one at the moment with Xander's husband's niece Madison."

"I just got home from the hospital this month," Madison told her, looking very earnest.

"You're the one the Foundation gave a donation for," she said wisely.  Madison looked at Xander, who nodded.

"You did?"

"Yup, we did, to the hospital.  That way they could help you and another little girl or boy who needed it.  We put it in your name so that they'd know there was hope of them getting better too," he agreed quietly, smiling at her.  "Patrick, the guy who left me the foundation, set it up in his will."

"Oh.  Why?"

"He was my grandfather and he knew how special you are to Horatio and I," he assured her.  "All his kids were dead.  I'm the last of his family and Don's kinda his nephew through one of his former wives."

"Wow."  She came over to hug him.  "I don't mind.  It'll help some others?"  He nodded. "Then I like that.  Do you think I could go back and visit some of my friends there?"

"I don't know.  I don't see a problem with it but we'll ask your mommy when I take you home, okay?"  She nodded, smiling at him. "You are such a special girl, Madison."  He gave her a squeeze.  "Ooops, you're all wet."

"I dry. Like the dogs, I'll dry my fur and be fine.  Besides, shirts wash.  Mommy said so.  That's why you put all kids and former kids into shirts, because they wash."  She went back to helping.

Melody smiled at her.  "I agree, you are a very special girl, Madison.  A blue ribbon you think?"

"No, I think he'll go to a girl.  We should appeal to that and put on a pink ribbon."  She looked up.  "RAY!" she squealed, running over to hug him.  "You're skipping school?"

"I have to do community service hours anyway," he admitted.  "But no.  I have permission since I'm bored and done with the term tests."  He walked her back there.  "You're doing a great job, Madison!"  She beamed and led him to see the puppies.  "That's kinda gross," he admitted, then walked her out.  "I will never have my own kids.  We'll adopt when I finally find a girl."  She giggled and he grinned.  "I'm going to be a big, strong guy and help Xander wash.  That good with you?"

"Yup, but watch your phone.  Uncle Xander already dropped his twice."

"I can see why."  He looked at the big ball of fur he was presently washing.  "How is he doing that?"  He went to help, making sure everything was safely out of the way of any water exposure.  "What is he?"

"A lot of fur in a very hot city."  Xander finished with his section.  "Sit!  Now!"  He pushed it back down and it laid down.  "That works too.  Hold her head."  He got to work on her head, hearing growls.  "Stare into her eyes and don't blink or look away."  Ray did that and the growls ceased.  "Good."  He finally got her rinsed out and they walked her over, both holding her so she could be clipped.  "She's got to be miserable in this heat."

"She probably is," the assistant agreed.  "We've had huskies in here too."  Madison came over to help with the bow and the dog growled, Xander snatching her out of the way before she got bit.  "You've never been aggressive before."

Xander caught her head, glaring into her eyes, making her shy back.  "You do not bite people.  That is bad unless they are hurting you or your pack.  We're helping you.  Calm down."  She laid down again and he let Ray check her over while he got the bows and things done.  The kennel assistant looked at him. "I'm good at staring people down."  He shrugged and let her go, watching as she walked off, watching the muscle twitch. "Please tell me she's not sick."

"No, that's where her underfur isn't completely dry yet."

"She's not even scratched, Xander," Ray soothed, patting him on the back.  Which wasn't dry either.  "I hope you brought more clothes."

"Nope.  I'll dry before I head to the campus."  He looked at Madison, who looked a bit scared.  "Remember, the dogs here were either hurt by someone bad or they were abandoned by people who didn't give a damn."

She nodded.  "That one must've been hurt by a kid like Eric, only meaner.  I don't blame him."  She took his hand, smiling at him.  "Can we get lunch now?"

"We can," he agreed.  "Where am I driving through to bring back lunch?" he called.  "Someone make a list?"

Ray went around to do that, taking Madison with him to get it.  And Xander some clean clothes.  Xander went to ask someone about her being sick after all.  That wasn't proper behavior.  The dog seemed miserable and like it was in pain.  Melody's son-in-law looked her over and suggested that one of her hips was out of place, so they went to find the real vet for her.

***

Xander sat down at a table across from Gibbs, opening his briefcase but leaving everything in there.  "So, Fornell likes you?"

"Likes to torment me," he offered, smirking at him.  "Who wrote that?"

"I can't give you their name because someone might arrest them.  Let's just say it was another necessity in our former life and leave it there."

"I can do that."  He leaned on the table.  "I know you and she and whoever don't like the thought of it getting into the open."  Xander stared him down.  "I also know that you're worried about hackers finding it from us.  This will stay with me and my team.  Myself, DiNozzo, Abby, and McGee are the only ones outside of Fornell who will know about it."  Xander nodded.  "Can I call them over?"

"Sure."  Gibbs whistled and two guys walked over with Abby between them.  "You remember Tony DiNozzo and Abby I'm sure."

"I do."  He shook their hands.  "Sorry about smelling like flea shampoo but I was helping the temporary pound do an adoption fair today. I spent three hours washing dogs."

"You poor man," Tony said, shaking his head.  "You're stronger than I am.  I have trouble doing Ducky's mom's corgis."

"I did three great danes, two sheepdogs, one big ball of knotted fur that I'm not sure what it is, and a few other hefty dogs.  Oh, Gibbs.  They've got a dobie, trained, but trained wrong.  He's scared to death of electronic sounds.  We think they did it on purpose."

"I know someone who could retrain him," he agreed.  "I'll let him know and call over there before we leave.  The other guy there is Tim McGee."

He looked at him.  "Willow knows you, Lord Elron."  McGee blushed and sat down, so he handed him the briefcase.  "The CD carrier with the numbered CDs and you can use my laptop since I've got to finish wiping and reinstalling it anyway."

"Who activated that virus?" Tony asked.

"They came to wipe out Willow's and my family," Xander said, staring him down.  "They were warned last time."  Tony shivered and nodded quickly.  He watched as McGee browsed.  Then he looked at Gibbs again.  "I don't want these used unless they're a last resort."

"Agreed.  The one that hit that group was a powerful weapon."

"She stopped it after stage two," he admitted quietly.  "Stage three would've killed their electronics totally."  He looked impressed at that.  "I thought about using something lesser, but they came to kill my son and my husband, plus her two kids, including her newborn, and her husband.  All because of Sunnydale.  Was their DNA lab destroyed?"

"Yes.  It was.  They had a failsafe and ruined all the samples."  Xander sighed and relaxed at that.  "I didn't get told any were yours."

"Doesn't mean anything.  We're pretty sure they took some of her eggs at one point in time.  Some unannounced and unexpected abdominal surgery.  That's why Horatio's child came to be the natural way."

"I understand, kid.  Between them and the Initiative, I wouldn't leave any stray DNA around either," Tony assured him.  Tim squeaked.  "What?"

"I've seen this in use before, boss."  Xander looked then nodded.  "Why?"

Xander looked at Gibbs.  "You didn't tell him how we met?" he asked dryly.  Abby blushed at that.  "Not that time."

"He was the reason the FBI director had to be suddenly arrested, McGee.  He had him hostage.  They were clearing out the files on that," he agreed quietly.  "With Fornell's knowledge."  He nodded, going back to his looking.  "That was nice work."

"I still want to know who some of them are," Xander admitted.  "Especially since I haven't stripped in ages.  I got a new one the other day," he said, giving him a wry look.  "Someone who saw me at an event and decided I needed a steadier hand."

"Stella looked really pretty," Abby assured him.  He grinned at that.  "You?"  He nodded.  "Why?"

"One of the local heiresses decided to try some sniping against me. I handed her to her stepmother. Besides, Don needs to go to more of those.  They can only help the foundation to get word out in the right circles."  She nodded, sipping her soda.  He looked at McGee since he was loading a new one.  "Do not let that run.  It will fry the circuits."  He took it out and put it aside.  "Thank you.  Forgot she had chosen that one."  He looked at Gibbs.  "You'll have it in your desk?"

"Yup.  In my desk, locked up.  They're a last resort, Harris."

He looked at him.  "I trust you," he decided.  Gibbs smirked at that. "That's fairly hard won for a guy with your background and job."

"I know why now.  I delved into that Initiative file.  I'm very sorry on behalf of the Pentagon and most of them were kicked out or retired with disability for mental issues."

Xander shrugged. "Some are still doing the job for the UN."

"True.  I ran into Finn."

"Yeah," he said dryly.  "Buffy's ex.  Not a lot of love there."  He grimaced. "He's shark bait with the way he used her."

"He might be anyway."  He shrugged. "McGee, anything we can use?"

"So far I've seen ones that will put any hidden system online and let everyone have access to them.  Things that'll destroy the computer it's loaded to.   One that'll reroute their whole communication grid to another system.  This one appears to make the system sneeze?"

Xander looked then nodded. "Yeah.  It's damn annoying when it gets a cold."  Tony snickered at that.  "She was having a funny ha-ha day instead of a funny odd day."  Abby giggled at that.  "It's mainly a distraction.  She and Oz did it."

She nodded.  "That's kinda cool though," she agreed, leaning over to kiss him on the forehead.  "How is Horatio?"

"Doing pretty good. He's got a late night.  He had court this afternoon so he had to stay and do some paperwork.  Ray's with Madison tonight and his dog with them.  Madison decided she wanted a turtle or a snake, they were easier.  All of Eric Delko's family is in my house at the moment fussing over Willow and her new daughter."

"Caught the stand-off in the L&D," Tony admitted.  "You there?"

"Backup to Ryan.  I had to pick up a fallen weapon," he admitted quietly, glancing around.  He looked at him again. "They think I'm a nice, sweet, former stripper around here, Tony."

"Gotcha.  Does Horatio know how well trained you are?"

"Now and then.  We both like to forget about it.  I'm semi-retired."

"Works for us," Gibbs promised.  He looked over at the horrified squeak and look.  "What?"

"It's a doomsday virus."

"No, it mimics a doomsday virus," Xander assured him.  "It's got a two hour countdown and behind that you have total access.  Then the computer starts to sneeze and fart.  You end up wiping everything because it corrupts every single file, but oh well."

"What happens if you don't?" Tony asked.

"Leaving even one file and opening it later can bring it back.  At least the annoying parts."  He smirked.  "That one is proof that you never want to piss off a girl when she's got PMS, her best friend has PMS, there's no chocolate near them for at least six blocks, and they've got mega cramps."

"She's truly evil, boss," McGee said in awe.  He looked at Xander. "Is she single?"

"Nope.  Married, two kids.  Buffy's single."

"Her I'd like to see with some discipline," Gibbs noted dryly.

"You can't spank her, she pouts."

"I was thinking boot camp."

"She'd complain about the uniforms, kick everyone's ass when she got PMS, and then outshoot a lot of people while whining about having to."

Abby giggled at that.  "She sounds pretty tough."

"Former cheerleader.  Sunnydale was like that."

"We're talking the sla...." she trailed off.  Xander nodded.  "Wow."

"Former.  It got passed on the hard way."  She shivered and nodded at that.  "She's back with her mom.  She could use a future and a mentor probably."

"Gibbs is really good at that," Abby told him.

"If she has what it takes," Gibbs reminded her.  "She still needs discipline."

"She's just about to turn twenty-one, Gibbs. She's got some but she always tried to keep her spirits up," Xander told him.  "She really could use a mentor."

"I'll see if she's doing anything we could use," he sighed.  Xander beamed at him and he finally understood how you could get hooked on this strange young man.  "What about you?"

"I'm taking classes here and there, mostly business stuff this upcoming semester so I can deal with my inheritance and trust and stuff."  That got a nod and a smirk.  "But Horatio wants me to retry chemistry sometime soon and I liked the massage therapy stuff, plus I'm still a really good profiling candidate.  I still hate school but I can take some helpful stuff for now."

"For now, take what you want and then you can turn it into a degree later," Tony reminded him.  "The massage therapy stuff can be used to spoil your husband and friends. Taking accounting would keep you from paying someone to do it.  Browse and take what you want, but give it a try.  Your husband seems like the practical sort."  Xander nodded.  "Then he'd understand when you can't do something.  Not everyone is good in chemistry."

"I spent most of the semester in confusion until he and dad explained it differently, then it got better.  I miss the swim team but I don't have time or the energy."

"There are local competitions," Abby reminded him.

"I know.  I'm doing one next week."  He grinned at her.  "Thank you, both of you."

"Welcome," Tony said, smiling at him.  "I got kicked out for wanting to be a cop.  I can understand how this is challenging."

"My parents didn't see the use in me going to college.  Dad did and he arranged it on me without my permission, that's when he sent me down here to Horatio."

"That's one story I want to hear sometime," Gibbs admitted.  "You two seem fairly different."  Xander grinned a shy grin and blushed, looking down.  "That good, huh?"  Xander nodded, leading him off to tell him, making him laugh at some of it, especially Horatio's reaction to watching him strip for the first time.  They came back when McGee closed the laptop and put it back into the briefcase. "Can we use 'em?"

"Yeah, boss, but only when we're being really mean."  He looked at him. "How many others does she have?"

"I don't know," Xander said honestly.  "I know she gave it up."

McGee nodded at that, then snorted.  "Yeah, right.  Tell her to change her signature.  It'll hide her better."

"Ryan likes her telling him these things."

"Then we'll come to him if we have a need," Gibbs offered. "She's not malicious without good reason. She's not doing it to prove a point, cause chaos, or make computer techs everywhere swear.  We can keep her secret and come to her when we think we need something."  He shook Xander's hand.  "Thanks, kid."

"I owed you for watching my back when I was taken."  He shrugged.  "This payback isn't quite a bitch."

"No, not in the least."  He smirked at his team. "Get hugs, Abby."  She got up and hugged him, then they left together, her between him and Tony.

Xander grabbed his briefcase and headed back to the car, looking around.  He called the house.  "Monitor Sykes. I can feel the camera somewhere."  He got into the car and hung up, heading for a short drive then home.  He came home to find his son waiting on him. "Oooh, did mommy not come pick you up?  I thought she was going to."

"We thought so too but she's not answering the phone," Eric admitted from the kitchen.  He came out.  "Mom wanted to know what's wrong with her."

"I want to know what's wrong with her."  He looked at his son then dialed her private line, letting it ring.  "No answering machine?"

"No, it broke last week," Ray said from the office.  He came out and Baby followed, making Eric squeal and pounce.  "Should I go over?"

"Might be a good idea," Eric agreed.  "Thanks, Ray."

"Welcome.  Ryan took Willow and her kids home.  Are you done for the day?"

"Yes, and I'm exhausted after all those dogs."  He flopped down, letting his son into his lap to cuddle him.  "I'm sorry I sprung you onto the other Eric's mommy."

"It's okay.  When I called Di and she didn't answer, she thought it might be a problem too."  He shrugged, going back into the kitchen. "Speed sent over dinner.  Want some?"

"I'm too sore to eat.  Save me some."  He picked up a book and got to work reading to his son.

***

Ray walked up to the shop's door, noticing it was still listed as open.  He tried the door and it was locked.  He rang the bell.  No answer.  He walked around to the back, finding that one locked as well, but he had the key.  He let himself in and snuck back through the bolts of cloth and the racks of clothes, finding a mess.  He hugged the wall, checking into the office.  Nothing.  He headed upstairs, hearing a noise up there.  He found Di on the floor and Taylor next to her, tied up.  He checked before going over to check on them, pulling out his cellphone.  "This is Ray Caine.  I have two females down at 15889 Empire.  One's still tied up.  Yes, I think they should. They're unconscious."  He heard a noise and turned, blocking the blow to his head.  "Suspect still in the building," he called to his dropped phone, getting up and proving he had been taking lessons with Xander for the last few months.  He heard footsteps and pushed the guy back into them.  They caught him and pushed him against the wall.  He held up his hands. "I called it in.  My ID's in my back pocket."  They came over to check, hanging up his phone for him.  He took the phone back, calling his Uncle.  "Uncle H, I'm at Di's shop. She's out cold, Taylor's tied up and out cold.  Someone tried to jump me when I came to check on them.  Two of them.  Jessop?"  He looked over so he waved the phone. "Uncle Horatio."

"Sir," he said, taking the phone, listening.  "Of course, sir.  Signs of a struggle downstairs."  He looked at Ray, who shook his head.  "Prior to when he got here.  Already called, sir.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Thank you, Ray."

"Not a problem.  We wondered when she didn't come to pick up little Eric."

"This is the mother of Xander's son?"  Ray pointed at Di.  "The one who makes the Xander-tight clothes?"  Ray pointed at Di again, smirking slightly.  "No wonder you got in."

"I have a key for emergencies."  He looked around.  "Where's their dog?  Clothes?"  He heard a quiet whimper and headed that way, finding the dog tied up in the closet.  "Bastard should pay."  He got her out and undone, leaving the bonds there.  "I'm taking her down to my car, guys.  That way she can go to the vet."  He carried her down and past the other officers and the paramedics.  "Straight back and up the stairs to the right.  Hey, Calleigh."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "She was in the closet tied up. I left the stuff I cut off her there and I'm going to take her to the vets as soon as you're done with me."  He got her into the car, putting some water in a cup down for her.  "You drink, Clothes.  It'll be okay."  He sat there, soothing her, watching as the paramedics came out with two victims.  He looked up as Speed came over.  "I hope they're going to be fine."

"They should be.  You touch anything else?"

"Closet doors.  He tried to bash my skull in so I went Xander on him."  He shrugged.  "I knocked him into a few things but I kept him from pushing either of us on top of them."

"That's fine. How did you get in?"  Ray held up his key.  "Emergencies?"  That got a nod.  "Okay.  I need you to show me where you walked and how you got up there."  Ray nodded, shutting the dog in the car and walking him that way.  "Good job," Speed said when they got back up there.  "Very efficient."

"I thought I heard a noise.  She never came to pick up the baby."

"That's fine," Calleigh agreed.  "Go ahead and take her to the vets, if we need more, we know where you'll be."  Ray nodded, going down to do that.  She looked at Speed, then the guy in custody.  "Who is he?"

"Not a clue," Officer Jessup offered. "No ID on him."

Speed looked at him.  "Say something."  The man gaped at him.  "You want to give us your name?"  He shook his head.  "Fine, I'm sure we can find you other ways.  Take him back, stick him in a cell until we get there."  That got a nod and they walked them off. Speed called Don.  "It's me.  Di got attacked.  I'll have someone take a picture of the guy to see if you or Danny know him.  Yeah, guy."  He hung up and called Horatio. "The guy who attacked Di and Taylor is coming in, H.  Send Don and them a picture, see if they can identify him."  He nodded, looking around.  "Ray called it in.  He took the dog to the vets since she was tied up in the closet.  They're stable but unconscious."  He hung up.  "He's furious."

"I'd be mad too," she assured him, taking pictures of the ropes and then bagging them.  "I wish he had taken a picture of how she was bound."

"We can recreate it," Speed reminded her.  "He can draw it out.  He's got a good memory for that stuff."  He got to work downstairs.  He had been here before, a number of times.

***

Xander looked up as Ray walked in without the dog, looking upset.  "Is she okay?"

"Stable but unconscious."  He sat down, looking at him.  "The guy there beat them pretty badly and the dog when she tried to defend them," he said quietly, ignoring little Eric for now.  "It ended up being a final trip to the vets," he said quietly.  Xander slumped.  "Her ribs were caved in, Xander.  She was basically paralyzed."  Xander nodded.  "They're at University.  They got moved to the head trauma center.  Both of them. I'm not sure what else to tell you."

"The guy?"

"Uncle H is there," he promised.  Xander nodded, cuddling their son.  "We'll figure out what to do with him when you've got to be gone."

"He can go with me."

"He'd hate society lunches.  He can't throw the food if I can't," Ray said dryly, staring at him.  "We'll figure it out."  Xander nodded, going back to cuddling his son.  "Does she have any other family?"

"Yeah.  She hasn't seen them in forever but yes.  Taylor had power of attorney already and I've got it in case Taylor is injured as well, jointly with Horatio.  The paperwork's in the black drawer with ours."  He nodded, going to get that.  He came out and let Xander see it, nodding.  "Take that to the hospital?  I'll be up in a while."  He got another nod and Ray took off with it.  Xander looked at his son.  "Eric," he said calmly.  "How would you like to stay over for a while longer?"  His son looked confused. "Your mommy's got a big booboo so she's in the hospital," he said, his voice breaking.  He cuddled him again.  "She's going to be just fine but she's got to stay there for a few more days.  So you're going to be here with me."

"Cwothes?"

"He's at the vets, baby.  He had the same sort of booboos Mommy and Mommy Taylor have."  He cuddled him then got up and went to put him into the carseat, getting in to drive them both to the hospital.  The receptionist looked at him oddly.  "I have medical power of attorney."  That got a nod and she gave him a visitor's badge, letting him go up to the head trauma ward.  He walked off the elevator, finding Ray arguing with a nurse.  "He's my assistant," he announced.  "What I know, he knows.  My husband will be here soon."  The nurse gave him a dirty look.  "That paperwork is valid.  Either you honor it or I'm going to own this hospital by the time I'm done with you.  Now, we'd like to see their doctor please."

She paged him and he came back up the hall.  "You are?"

"The father of her son.  I've got secondary power of attorney if Taylor's also in bad shape.  My husband and I share it jointly.  He's interrogating the person who did this at the moment."

"Okay," he agreed.  "Name?"

"Alexander Lavelle Harris.  This is Ray Caine, my nephew and assistant."  He looked over the paperwork.  "I'm not sure who has Taylor's other than Di.  They were getting married soon."  The nurse snorted and he glared at her, making her flinch and back away.  "Thank you."  He looked at the doctor again, going back to calm when he saw his amused look.  "Sorry, I'm a bit upset."

"I understand, sir.  Let's sit down and talk.  Is that her son?"  Xander nodded.  "You have custody?"

"We share it. It devolves to myself and my husband."  He followed him, glancing in the rooms until he saw Taylor and Di.  Then he looked at Ray.  "Tell Horatio I'm here."  That got a nod, him walking off to make the call from the payphone. "You can be honest. I've seen others die in front of me," he said quietly.  "Ray's still got some innocence."  His cell rang so he turned it off.  "Sorry."

"Not a problem.  We all forget now and then."  He sat down across from him. "Right now, they're both unconscious but not quite in a comatose state."  Xander nodded once.  "I have a lot of hope of them waking up."

"Without damage?"

"I do hope so."

"Chances?"

"Pretty good right now.  The longer this goes on the worse it could be," he admitted, looking at the boy who was staring at him.  "Hi, Eric.  I'm treating your mother."

"He's fixing her booboos, Eric.  Listen to the nice doctor."  Eric settled back against his chest.  "He's two."  That got a small smile.  Ray came back and whispered in his ear. "When did she do that?"

"I don't know.  Calleigh said Speed found it in the office."  He looked at the doctor.  "There's medical power of attorney paperwork coming that names his husband, my uncle Horatio, as Taylor's POA."

"That's fine," he agreed, smiling at him.  "It's always good to know who to go to and who to brief."  He looked up as someone started to yell.

"That's Taylor's sister, the bigoted bitch," Ray said, going to calm her down.  "Shut up!  I doubt they want the patients woken by you screaming," he hissed, glaring at her.  She backed down.  "Your sister's doctor is briefing Xander."

"Why?" she sneered.

"He's got Di's power of attorney and Uncle Horatio has your sister's.  He'll be here soon with the paperwork."  She sneered harder.  "She signed it recently."

"I'm sure she did.  We can fight that."

"I'm sure you'll try all our patience doing that.  At least we love Taylor like a sister.  Unlike you.  Now, if you're good you can follow me.  If not, I'll have security remove you for screaming that way and trying to wake up the comatose."  She stomped off to make a call.  Ray looked over as Speed came off the elevator, pointing at the nurse.  "The doctor's with Xander.  There's her sister."

Speed glared at the sister.  "Good.  We have some questions since Horatio said it was her boyfriend."  She gasped, letting the phone fall from her fingers.  "Come with me please."  He handed over the papers to Ray and walked her off to a private corner to discuss this with her.

Ray hung up the phone and went back, handing those to the doctor as well.  "Hers.  Her sister is being questioned by Speed."

Xander took his hand to hold.  "They've got low brain function but it's not quite abnormally low."

"Okay, so they can get better.  Do we see clots, cracks, or other issues?"

"All of the above.  Right now, them being like this is saving them a lot of pain."  The sister stomped in. "You are?"

"Her *family*."

"I have to go on the medical power of attorney, ma'am."

"She can know for now," Xander offered.  "Horatio would agree until she pulls shit."  The doctor looked at him. "Daddy?  Where's Horatio?"

"On his way in."  He patted him and took the baby.  "Hi, Eric."  He walked him off, taking him away from the emotionally charged scene.

"My sister will not be taken care of by these two fags!" she complained.

Xander stood up and slapped her.  "Shut up, you hypocritical bitch.  You had plenty of women on the side for your boyfriend's pleasure.  Taylor warned us all about you."  She looked horrified.  "She named us because we're not going to make stupid decisions based on who she's sleeping with.  We'd like Taylor even if she wasn't seeing Di.  Unlike you, who doesn't like her at all.  So sit down and shut up or we'll lock you out of all information and visiting hours."  She sat down, still giving him a horrified look. "I'm sorry I hit you, I'm a bit upset right now.  Di is very special to me."  He sat down again, looking at the doctor.  "What can we do to help and what can we expect?"

"A lot of waiting," he said honestly.  "They could wake up tonight or next year.  They could be perfectly fine or not.  We can't be sure until they wake up," he said gently.  He looked up as someone else walked in.  "You are?"

"My husband Horatio," Xander said, taking his hand to clutch.  "They're not comatose yet."

"That's good news, right?" he said calmly.  The doctor nodded.  "Their chances of waking up healthy?"

"On the good side right now, sir.  Your name?"

"Captain Horatio Caine, MDPD."  He sat down between Xander and Ray.  "They have a good chance?"

"They do.  Right now they're healing.  Being this way is keeping them out of pain.  They could be a lot worse.  Now, we want to start medicine to gently break up the clot in Diana's head."

"Risks?" Xander asked.

"The biggest two are that it shifts and lodges somewhere else before we can fully dissolve it or that the medicine hinders the other injuries from clotting."  They both nodded at that.

"Would waiting a day for everything to finish scabbing over help or hurt?" Ray asked quietly.

The doctor looked at him. "That's a very good question.  Right now, the clots aren't keeping oxygen from the brain.  They're causing minor problems instead of major complications."

"I'm not two, doctor.  Like Xander, I've seen people die around me. You can treat me like the near-adult I am."  The doctor nodded at that. "Are we thinking it'll cause a further stroke or brain damage to wait?"

"It could.  I'll be honest that it could cause problems either way.  It's always better to act faster with brain injuries."

Xander looked toward where Di was lying then at Horatio, who shrugged. "Have we checked for internal bleeding and things that would be hurt by her not clotting for a few days?"

"We have, the tests weren't conclusive."

Xander and Horatio looked at each other, then nodded.  "Wait as long as you can and make sure she's not bleeding anywhere else," he said firmly.  "A stroke is bad, dying from bleeding into her intestines would be worse."

"All right.  I can agree with that.  Do I have permission if it starts to become an emergency issue?"  They nodded.  "Thank you."  He made note of that on the charts.  "All right.  As for Taylor's care, she's about the same.  A bit more bruised in the chest and intestines.  We have a worry about her lungs because of that."

"Is this another case where the treatments could counter-indicate others?" Horatio asked.

The doctor nodded.  "It very well could, Captain."

"Horatio.  We'll be working together closely."

"Horatio then.  We're going to do another MRI of her lungs tonight.  Right now, her head injuries aren't as bad as Diana's but her lungs are troubling."

"When you find out, you'll call me," Horatio ordered, writing on the back of one of his cards.  "That's my office number, I usually work days.  That's my cell, email, and his cell on the back, plus Ray's cell if you can't get us."  He handed it over.  The doctor tucked it into the charts.  "Now, as for the sister, do you have any qualms keeping her updated?  I agree, it is her sister and she should know if she wants to."

"I don't as long as you authorize it."  He glanced at Ray and back, getting a nod.  "All right.  Let's lead you to them so you can talk with them for a few minutes.  Her sister as well if she wants."

"Our parents will want to fly in," she said, glaring at Xander's back. "They'll be allowed?"

"As long as they don't cause a scene or start to scream," Horatio agreed, looking back at her.  He saw the mark on her face, then looked at his mate.  "Did you hit her?"

"She was screaming and sneering and I snapped.  I apologized and if she charges me, I'll take the probation," Xander assured him. "I'm still struggling with my feelings about Di being in here."

"Like they'd charge their own," she sneered.

"Actually they would," Speed said from the doorway.  "Eric's here to visit too, Horatio.  Can I set up the visitation list with the nurse?"  That got a nod so he went to do that with Eric's help.  He looked at the new nurse.  The other had huffed off for her lunch.  "Hi," he said quietly.  "We need to set the visitation list for Di and Taylor."

"Are you their medical power of attorney?"

"No but they said I could," he assured her.  "They're in with the doctor and you're about to get pounced on by some other cops who're their friends.  You can clear it with them."  She nodded, letting him make out a list.  It was fairly long.  Eric looked and crossed out a few names, making him look at him.  "They don't like Di?"

"They think she was taking advantage of Marisol and Mom with the babysitting stuff.  I don't think she needs that stress.  Any idea when they'll wake up?"

"We hope soon," Ray said as he joined them, making sure his and his mother's name was on there.  He wrote out all the phone numbers and handed them to her. "Another copy.  Horatio works days, Xander's usually at home.  If not, try the cells, then my cell.  I can almost always find them."  She nodded, putting that aside.  "Thank you.  Di and Taylor are like my aunts."  He looked at Speed, taking Eric from him. "Hey, big man."  He walked off to look out the window with him.  "The doctor thinks your mommy will get much better very soon, that her booboo will heal wonderfully."  Eric smiled at him but still looked worried.  "It'll be okay.  You'll stay with daddy until she's all better."   He watched his uncle have a word with the nurse, getting a nod.  Then he added a few more names to the list.  Xander came over.  "It'll be okay?"

"I hope so," he admitted, hugging him.  "I really do hope so."  Horatio came up behind them, hugging Xander gently, but puling him away finally.  "We can see them?"  That got a silent nod and they walked to see their girls.  Eric started to cry so Ray walked off with him again, going to talk with him, reassure him that his mommy would be all right.

"He should expect to lose her," Taylor's sister told him.

"He's two, bitch.  He doesn't understand that.  Now, step off."  He walked Eric off again, taking him back to his father.

Horatio went to talk with her.  "I will not have you upsetting Eric.  He nearly lost her once to pneumonia when he was younger.  He's just a toddler and doesn't need your stress.  Confine your comments to myself and my husband."

"If you can't be polite, you don't need to be stressing your sister out," Xander agreed as he joined them.  "She doesn't need this if she's going to heal."

"How would you know?"

"Because I've been in one of those beds," he said coldly.  "A few of us have."  She gave him a horrified look.  "Now, Ray was right.  If you can't control the sneering and the 'tude, step off.  Go get your parents here.  We have no problem with you seeing them but if you show even the tiniest hint of disrespect, I will have you ejected out the nearest window.  Are we clear?"

"Crystal," she found out, flouncing off.

Xander sighed and looked at Horatio.  "They don't need that."

"I agree, they don't."  He kissed him gently.  "It'll be okay.  They'll wake up and be fine.  They're both very strong women, Xander."  He nodded, resting against his chest.  He looked back at the doctor. "Night or day.  Call us."

"Of course, Horatio.  Thank you for handling that more calmly."

"I'm sorry I lost my temper," Xander said, looking at him.

The doctor shrugged. "Not the first I've seen or the worst.  Go home, eat, talk, rest.  It's going to be a wait."  They nodded and headed off, letting Speed and Eric follow.

***

Eric walked into his parent's house.

"Did you finally find Diana?" his other sister demanded.

"Yeah, right where the guy who beat her and Taylor left them."  She gave him a horrified look and he glared back.  "They're at University in the head trauma ward.  You're not on the visitor's list at the moment."  He walked off finding his mother and sister in the kitchen, as usual.  "They're expected to wake up sometime."  His mother dropped the plate, looking at him.  "Taylor's sister's boyfriend beat them for being gay.  They're not quite comatose at the moment.  They're at University.  They signed power of attorney over to Horatio and Xander."  She nodded at that, clutching the counter.  "They're expected to wake up sometime."

"Good. I'll pray for them tomorrow," she promised.

"The hateful bitch?" Marisol demanded.

"Tried shit with Xander.  He slapped her good according to Speed."  He shrugged. "They're allowed in so far but it was made clear to her that Horatio has Taylor's POA and they have Di's together.  Her parents are flying in tonight from St. Louis."

Marisol sighed.  "Someone should meet them from the family."

"They're going to meet them there. They call the the department, got switched to the lab, and were put through to Horatio's cellphone.  He explained what had happened and what was presently going on, leaving out the spoiled bitch moment and Xander hitting her for it.  He also noted that they had medical authority over her, but that they were more than welcome to come get information and visit.  Her father's upset but the mother agreed they'd be more rational than she was.  They'll be in early morning."

"That poor family," his mother sighed.  "I'll definitely pray for them both."

"Anything else?" Marisol asked.

"He beat their dog.  Ray took it to the vets once we released him and they had to put him down.  He was paralyzed and had all his ribs broken."  She teared up.  "Eric saw them but all he knows is that it's a big booboo and they're napping to get better faster.  Xander and Ray explained it to them."  His father walked in.  "Hi, dad."

"What's happened?  Did they find out where she took off to this time?"

"They were beaten, poppa," Marisol said harshly.  "She's not really that flighty."  She looked at Eric.  "Can we do anything else?"

"Visit, talk to them," Eric said, shrugging a bit.  "They're working on it right now."  She nodded, kissing him on the cheek.  "Thanks.  I hope the doctors can pull it out of a hat this time."

"They will," she assured him. "I know they will."  She gave him a squeeze.  "Xander has the baby?"

"Probably still in his lap.  Anything happen here?"

"Ryan called.  He said Erica called him wondering why Xander met with the military."

Eric groaned. "He was giving them something Willow wrote for them."  He grabbed the sandwich his mother was making, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, mom."

"You needed to eat anyway."  She looked at her daughter.  "Are you going to babysit tomorrow?"

"I doubt he's going to let Eric out of his sight," she pointed out.  "I wouldn't."

"Me either.  He'll be with him or in his backpack all day," Eric agreed.

"I can't believe someone would hurt them.  They seem like nice women," his father offered.

"It was her sister's boyfriend, poppa," Eric told him, staring him down.  "Taylor's sister doesn't like the fact that she's gay.  She had him beat them both and the dog."

He shuddered.  "I can see a mild protest but that is too far."

"I'll keep that in mind if I ever steal Speed from Calleigh."  He looked at Marisol. "I'm heading home. Need a ride?"  She nodded, going to gather everything up.  "Thanks, momma."  He walked out, heading home with his sister.

"He was kidding," his mother assured her frowning husband. "They're only friends.  He sees too many women for him to be gay."

Her husband snorted and went back to his study to think.  Maybe he was wrong about some things.

***

Xander woke up to a gentle shake, finding his mate standing beside the bed dressed. "Let me get up."

"Di woke up an hour ago.  They're doing tests.  They think Taylor will today."  Xander smiled and hugged him.  "Get dressed and I'll drive you in."  He got a nod and Xander climbed out of bed, heading for the bathroom.  "Want the black jeans?"

"Please, and the blue shirt."  He came out and found underwear and everything laid out for him, giving his husband a smile.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  It makes it go faster."  He stole a kiss before heading to the coffeepot.  Xander came out pulling on his shirt, finding his son snuggled up with the dog.  "He climbed out of bed earlier and woke me."

"Awww, poor guy," Xander sighed, coming over to pick his son up.  He got a sniffling cuddle.  "It's all right.  We're going to see mommy."  Eric perked up a bit at that.  "They said her booboo is getting better."  He took his travel mug and another kiss, letting Horatio put his keys and wallet into his pockets, plus his phone.  They headed out, him getting the baby settled and letting Horatio drive the hummer in.  "Work?" he asked quietly.

"I told Brousard I'd be two hours late so I could take you there.  He agreed this was a family thing."  He pulled out of the community and onto the street, heading for the hospital.  "Taylor's parents should be in later this morning.  I've already talked to them when they called me.  They were getting ready to leave for the airport."  He reached over, stroking his thigh.  "Relax.  It'll be all right.  Di's a tough girl."

"I'm trying to figure out how to bring Eric with me to everything.  The blessing's tomorrow night.  Melody's got a luncheon two days later that I have to go to since she's my sponsor.  Ray thinks he'll throw food at anyone who snarks at me.  We have the polo match the day after that.  Riding Sunday."

"Willow said they'd watch him both days, mostly because Todd's been bored with his sister.   Ryan's still on paternity leave.  We could hire a real babysitter or let him go to daycare during the luncheon."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't like the idea of daycare."

Horatio sighed.  "It'll help him get along with others, Xander.  Besides, I thought you liked the daycare we chose."

"I do, but not right now.  It's not going to be good for him to be stuck there while she's in the hospital and he's worrying."

"We'll see.  Maybe you can take him and spend the first few hours there?  That way you can see he'll be okay?"

"Maybe.  If not, I'll get him a suit."  He shrugged.  "He can ride on my back for the afternoon.  I guess."  He shrugged as they pulled into the hospital's parking lot and parked.  He got out and Eric didn't even try to walk, just held up his arms.  Horatio smiled sadly but took his free hand to walk inside with him, going up to the head trauma ward.  The doctor was already there.  "Good news?" Xander asked hopefully.

"Very good news.  There seems to be little cognitive damage in Di's case.  She's awake, alert, her brain functions seem to be all right. She knew the date and what her son's name was."  He patted Eric on the head.  "Your mommy's awake and her booboos are getting a lot better."  He looked at Horatio.  "Taylor's still out but she's getting closer to coming back around."  He smiled at that.  "Come on, I'll let you see them."  He led them back there, smiling as the baby wiggled to be put on the bed.  "Very gently.  She's got broken ribs and a bruised stomach."

Xander put the baby on her shoulder as he kissed her on the cheek.  "You're going to be okay?" he asked, looking really pitiful.

"I'll be okay," she croaked, looking at her son, who was cuddling in.  "I'm all right, Eric.  Just some booboos.  I'll be fine in a few days and home again."  He hugged tighter.  She winced but held him as best she could.  "Shh, it's all right.  Mommy's right here."  He looked at her and she stared back.  "Will you be good for Daddy Xander and Daddy Horatio?"  He nodded.  "That's my good boy, Eric."  He smiled and hugged her around the throat again.  "Yeah, it's all good, baby."  She smiled at the couple.  "Sorry about not calling."

"We made your apologies to Eric's mom," Horatio assured her.

"His sister was having a cranky day but Eric and Marisol probably both defended you as not being that flaky usually."  She smiled at that.  "Can you handle him while we check on Taylor?"

"Please.  Go tell me how my woman is."  They nodded, walking over there with the doctor while she cuddled her son.  "Oooh, I want less pain so I can cuddle you properly.  Pretty soon it'll hurt less."  Eric smiled at her.  "Yes, it's going to be okay."  He grinned and snuggled in.  They fell asleep that way by the time Xander and Horatio got back.

Xander kissed Horatio and sent him off to work while he sat beside Di's bed to watch over them.  That's why he saw Taylor's parents and sister get off the elevator.  He walked out there, smiling a bit.  "Di woke up earlier this morning.  They're saying Taylor's probably about to by tonight."  Her mother smiled at that.  "I'm Xander.  She's this way."   He led them back into the room, hearing a giggle.  "Oops, gotta go get the son."  He hurried back, taking him before he could wake his mother up.  "Sorry," he told the nurse.  "He was napping."

"That's fine. It's good for both of them."  She helped him untangle the baby then handed him over.  "There you go.  Let me check her over."

Xander nodded, walking the baby back.  "He was napping with his mom."

Eric looked at Taylor's mother.  "Moo?"

"Well, I suppose I do look like a cow in this jacket," she said, giving him a look.

"Sorry, he spent a good few weeks doing nothing but mooing."  He looked at his son.  "This is Mommy Taylor's mommy and daddy.  They came to check on her booboos."

"See mommy!" Eric demanded, pointing at the bed.  He walked him around the sister, letting him lean down to kiss her on the cheek.  "There, all better," he cooed, just like she did him, then stroked her head.  "No more pain."

Xander smiled and sat down with him.  "That's very nice of you to kiss the booboos away, Eric.  Thank you.  I'm sure her mommy appreciates that."  His son smiled at the new people, waving shyly, then hiding his face.  "Sorry."

"That's all right," the father said.  "He's a charming young scamp."

"Yeah, he is.  But he's a holy terror with our dog, chases him around all the time."  That got a laugh.

"Taylor used to chase ours around too," her mother assured him, looking at her daughter. Her daughter moaned.  "You could wake up.  You never did wake up easy, Taylor."  She blinked at her, then moaned again.

"She's awake!" Xander yelled.  The nurses came in to check her over, taking her tube out and all that good stuff.  He smiled at Eric.  "That was a good kissing the booboos away, little man.  Next time I get a booboo you can do mine."  Eric snuggled into his arms, watching his mommy be fussed over.  "I know, she'd complain about the fussing normally," he whispered, "but this time we'll let her do it."  He nodded, wiggling down and over to the new people, tugging on her hand.  "Eric."

"You like grandmommy Delko?"

Xander grinned.  "One of my husband's coworkers has this loving mother who's watched him a few times, including yesterday.  She's jonesing for more grandkids."

"Well, I suppose we are," the grandmother said, picking him up.  "You're a big boy, Eric.  How old are you?"  He held up three fingers.  "Three?"

"Two and a half," Xander offered.  "He exaggerates to get the pretty women when we go to the beach with Eric and our nephew Ray."

Taylor's father laughed at that.  "He's such a scamp."

"Oh, he is, but he still mooed for two weeks straight," Xander assured him.  "Then he'd giggle insanely."

"Don't remind me," Taylor complained.  "Eric?"  He wiggled down and onto her shoulder to cuddle her. "There's my boy," she sighed, hugging him.  "Oooh, poor baby, both of us have booboos and you're left to be watched by Daddy Xander, who's probably in full fuss mode."

"Not yet.  That's when you get out."  She groaned.  "Tough."  He grinned sweetly.  "Dad said that the shop wasn't too ripped up.  Just some in the office and some minor stuff in the living room."

"I remember hearing Ray, and then a fight," she admitted.

"Oh, he was waiting there and tried to jump Ray too.  Ray kicked his ass and when the cops appeared, kicked him into them so they could capture him."

"I owe Ray a really nice shirt then."  She went back to cuddling their son.

"He kissed your booboos better."

"I'm sure that's why I woke up," Taylor said, smiling at him.  "Thank you, little man. I needed them kissed better."  He smiled and kissed her again, petting her.  "See, I already feel better.  How's Di?"

"About two rooms down," Xander offered, pointing the direction.  "Asleep but she's woken up already.  Eric was helping her nap."

"Oh, good."  She smiled at her parents.  "Hi.  Well, you wanted to meet Di, but probably not like this."

"No, not like this," her father said, leaning down to hug her.

Xander snuck Eric out of the way and back down to Di's room, finding her awake and trying to watch.  "They're being good to her," he promised, sitting down again.  Eric wanted back on the bed so he let him.  "He kissed her booboos and made her wake up."  Eric kissed his mommy's cheek and petted over her bandage.

"I feel better already," she promised, smiling at him. "Maybe you should be a doctor when you grow up, Eric."  He snuggled in, content to be loved for now.  He'd be a holy terror later.  Taylor's parents came in and she waved her free hand.  "Hi.  Sorry it was like this when we met."

"Just means you can't get away from my nagging questions," the mother said as she walked in, smiling at Eric.  "He is certainly loved."

"Oh, he is.  Normally he'd be on Daddy like this but sometimes you've just gotta have the mommy."  Xander nodded at that. She looked at him.  "Horatio?"

"Work. Finishing up this case and a few homicides."

"Does he know who did it?" her father asked.  Xander nodded. "He's in jail?"  Xander handed over his phone after hitting the speed dial button.  He walked off with it.  "Sir, this is Taylor Patrick O'Neill.   Yes, Taylor's father.  I was calling to check on the status of her case.  No, she's awake now.  Eric kissed her booboos and everything."  He smiled.  It showed that he cared about their daughter because he asked about her before giving out information.  That smile fell away when he heard what had happened, then sighed.  "Did she have anything to do with it?"  He listened to the 'I'm not sure and we can't prove it' answer.  "I understand, son.  Are you part of this family grouping?"  He held his wife when she came over.  "That's fine.  We'd like to meet you this afternoon to make sure he goes to jail for this.  When is his arraignment?"  He nodded.  "We can be there.  I'm sure your boy knows how to get us to you.  Thank you, sir."  He hung up and looked at his wife.  "That was Xander's husband, Horatio."

"Taylor's told me about him.  He runs the local crime lab," she agreed quietly.

He hummed. "He's a nice man.  He asked about her before anything else."  She smiled at that. "Beth's boyfriend was arrested for this."  Her face tightened up and she glared at her daughter.  "They can't prove that she had anything to do with it," he offered quietly. "It could be bad taste.  You had a run of that before you met me too."  The phone in his hand rang so he handed it to a nurse.  "Can you give that back to Xander please?"  She nodded, going to do that.

Xander walked outside with it. "Hey, Don."  He listened.  "No, they both woke up this morning.  Eric kissed all the booboos better."  He looked inside, his son was walking around, making him wince.  "They'll be okay.  Taylor's sister's boyfriend.  Apparently a gay bashing.  Taylor's parents are here and they seem pretty cool so far.  Yup, he's with me."  He smiled.  "The blessing is tomorrow night for Liz if you'll be down here.  Sure.  I planned on that anyway.  Thanks, Don.  Sure, I will."  He hung up and went to capture his son before he went to try his kissing technique on others, going back to Di's room.  "Don sends his love and he'll be down tomorrow afternoon because we've got a board meeting Sunday."  She smiled at that, nodding slightly.  "I'd kiss you but Taylor might get jealous."

"My mommy!" Eric demanded.

"I can kiss her on the cheek just like I do you."  He pouted.  "Fine."  He kissed him then her.  "See?  Want to see Uncle Don and Uncle Danny?"

"Snuggly?"

"Don't call Stella that," he whined, shaking his head.  Di chuckled, holding her ribs.  "I know, broken ribs suck, especially when the cute things happen."  He grinned at her.  "He mooed at her mother, Di."  She giggled again and the nurse came in to ease her back onto her back and up her pain killer.  "Sorry."

"We heard the moo."  She left to check on Taylor as well, giving her some pain killers too.  "Your son was being cute.  He said someone named Uncle Danny and Uncle Don were coming?"

"The New York group and the board meeting," she agreed, sounding sleepy.  "I think I'll nap soon."

"Napping is a good way to heal," her mother agreed, stroking over her hair.  "I may not like that you're with a girl, Taylor, but at least you gave me one hell of a grandchild."  She smiled at that.

"He mooed at her," her father shared.

"Eric moos a lot.  He spent two weeks mooing and then insanely giggling. All night even."  That got a smile. "I know, he's payback for when I was ten, right?"  Her mother beamed and nodded.  "Well, at least he's cute payback and sweet and cuddly most of the time.  Just watch out when he gets that grin on his face."  She yawned again and let herself drift off.  "Go bother Di and Horatio, parents."

"We will be, dear."  They walked over to Di's room to spend some time with her, Xander fading off to take his son down to the cafeteria for a snack.  Taylor's mother looked at her new daughter-in-law.  "We weren't too thrilled about our daughter being a lesbian," she started.  "You hear all sorts of bad things.  Fortunately we seem to like you and you seem to treat her well."

"I treat her very well and I spoil her rotten."

"Then you're one up on us, Diana, she hates it when we fuss," her father assured her.  "Plus, that's one hell of a grandchild we've now got."

She smiled at that. "Xander's husband is having their second child with a friend's sister.   You'll probably see Eric and Marisol later tonight.  That one'll be just as much ours too."  That got a smile from the grandparents.  "Try to keep Xander from fussing?  He'll go overboard and make himself sick with worry."

"We'll try, dear.  We're going to the arraignment as well.  That nice Horatio said we could," he assured her.  "Should we pass on a message?"

"Take Xander and hand him back to his husband.  He's the only one who can stop Xander from fussing."

"I can do that," he agreed.  "We'll be in town for a few days so we'll have the time to talk."  She nodded, yawning a bit.

"Sleep helps heal those injuries, Diana.  You rest," his mother said gently.  "We'll take Xander now."  She nodded, smiling at that.  They watched her fall asleep then went to talk to their daughter first, that needed to be done in more private conditions.  The smoking lounge was very good for it.  When they were done, they found Xander and Eric nibbling on an apple and took him to help guide them to the courthouse.

***

Don walked into the house and looked around.  "Geeze, guys.  Have a party without us?"  Xander looked up from the couch, giving him a bleary eyed look.  "Kids run you over?"  Xander nodded, putting his head back down. "When's the blessing?"

"Seven," he moaned, getting up.  "Eric's just now went down.  Let me shower."  He hugged Don and everyone, then trudged that way.  "Watch out for the napping dog.  He's hiding under the couch."

Danny looked. "It's okay, the boy's asleep."  He got a tired woof and the dog came back out.  "We'll take care of the boy. You rest."  The dog hopped up onto the end of the couch and fell asleep sprawled right there.  "I'm guessing Eric went kinetic to deal with his worry."

"I used ta," Don agreed, going to check on the baby and Xander.  Xander was asleep in the shower so he turned it off on him, getting a sleepy complaint.  He carried him to the bed and dropped him into it, watching as Xander curled up around Horatio's pillow and got comfortable.  "I'll wake you in an hour.  It looks like he wore you out too."  He went to the kitchen, seeing the mess.  "Ooh, looks like someone was cooking."  He got to work in there, letting Danny and the others get the living room.

Horatio walked in, finding the clean up in progress.  "Did we commit a really bad and evil crime or did the son strike again?" he asked fondly, shutting the door.

"The son struck.  Your mate is asleep on the bed," Danny said with a grin.  "The dog was hiding when we got here."

"Eric's been a ball of energy since his mother woke up."  He went to check on them, kissing Xander gently.  "You've got a half an hour, rest."  Xander mumbled something and snuggled in deeper.  "Good boy, Xander."  He changed clothes, checking the time so he could poke him.  Xander swatted him.  "Xander, you've got to get up so we can go to Liz's blessing. You've got to greet people."  He got a sleepy, complaining, but moving mate who wandered toward the closet.  "Wear the silk."  Xander's hand moved and pulled out a silk print shirt, making him shudder.  "Not that one."  He changed it out, finding a different shirt for him to wear, then silk pants.   That, boxers, socks, and his mate sat down to dress himself, still mostly asleep.  When he was done he stumbled out into the living room and snuggled against Stella's side, going back to sleep.  "He's hosting it," he explained. He went to get Eric ready, finding him wide awake but unable to get out of his bed.  "You have been too hyper all day, my son.  It's time to calm down.  The dog and the daddy both need a nap."  Eric pouted.  "That doesn't work on me unless you're your father."  He got his clothes switched out and picked him up, keeping control of him.

Danny held up his arms.  "Give'm here."  Eric got handed over and smiled at him. "Hey, Pumpkin. You miss us?"  He nodded.  "Well, we're here now and we're gonna help watch you now and then this weekend.  Okay?"  He beamed at that and nodded again.  "Good.  Now, let's go visit Toddy's new sister."

"Boring."

"I know she is, but she'll get exciting when she's older," Danny promised, kissing him on the forehead.  "Hey, Xander.  You wanna ride in the back of the hummer or with us?"

"Hummer.  S'larger," he said through a yawn.  "Sorry."

"Don't be.  It's been a long day," Stella assured him.  She smiled.  "Besides, I am comfortable to nap on.  Mac does it all the time."  Mac blushed at that, shaking his head.  "You do."

"You are comfortable to nap on," he agreed.  He took the baby, earning a pout.  "I can't have cuddles?"  Eric snuggled into him.  "Thanks, Eric."  They headed out, gathering the cleaning Don.  "You're nesting here?"

"I was nesting at home but everything's clean."

"Someone needs a woman," Danny said dryly.  He got the carseat out and took the little one with them.  It was only fair, this way Xander could nap on the way to the beach.

***

Don came off the plane with Eric in his arms, smiling at Sheldon.  "Look, Eric.  It's Sheldon."

"Montana," he said happily.

Sheldon looked at him.  "No, that's her," he said, pointing at the woman beside him.  "I'm Sheldon. Can you say Sheldon?"

Eric sniffed him, then grabbed onto his neck to hug.  "Smells nice."

Danny grinned.  "Yeah, he wears nice aftershave.  Let him go, Eric."  Eric pouted so Sheldon ended up with him for a few minutes.  "Sorry, but Xander's exhausted, Di's still in the hospital. Besides, Don's dad wants grandkids, this way he can see what they'd turn out like beforehand."  He smirked.

"Fart."

"See," Stella agreed.

"Hey!" Don complained.  "What do you say when you do that?" Don prompted.

"Fart, 'scuse me," he said with a sweet smile.

"Exactly.  That's my nephew!"  He took him back and smirked at Lindsey.  "It's making sure I don't have one for a few more years."

"With the way you've been nesting, you've acted like you're pregnant," Stella complained.  "Cleaned, all weekend," she said, taking Sheldon's arm to walk out with him.

"I can't imagine Don being pregnant," Lindsey offered.  "Seven months along and trying to chase someone down?" she offered with a giggle.

"Hey!  I'd glow and I'd be cute," Don protested.

"Thankfully it's medically impossible," Sheldon offered, looking at Mac.  "Or has one of Xander's friends figured out how to do that too?"

"Not that we heard about," he offered.  "We have Eric so Xander can rest and recuperate and so can his mommies."

Eric's head popped over Don's shoulder.  "Call mommies?"

"When we get to the house," Don promised.  He beamed at that.  "It'll be about an hour."

"Traffic's a bitch today," Sheldon offered.  He watched as Danny and Mac went to get the bags, smiling at that.  "So I take it the board meeting went all right?"

"Oh, yeah.  The first nine were easily agreed on.  The last one came down to three favorites so we reread while we nibbled and considered.  It came down to two and Mac decided we should break the ten rule.  So we did."  He shrugged.  "I got drug to the polo match with 'em."

"How was that?" Sheldon asked.

"Like soccer with mallets on horses.  We tailgated."  Lindsey looked confused.  "What's the name of that game they played in the movies _Heathers_?"

"Croquet," Danny told him.

"Yeah, it's that game on horseback but without the little annoying arches.  Just goals.  It's pretty neat.  You bring a picnic, you tailgate, you talk and laugh, then at halftime you go walk around on the field to put the grass back into place.  You even get people who come around to clean your shoes in case you step in horse crap."  Eric giggled at that.  "Yeah, you got to stomp some of that too."  He shook his head.  "He loved the horses.   He pouted when Xander and Horatio went for a ride alone.  Anyway, dad's exhausted by fussing over everyone.  He nearly fell asleep during Liz's blessing ceremony.  Back in a corner so he was out of the way but still nearly did it.  Eric's been running everyone down there ragged.  Besides, this way my dad quits nagging for kids."  He grinned at the sight of his bag on the cart.  "Thanks, guys."  They continued on.  "So, we get the special treatment today?"

"Yup," Sheldon agreed happily.  "We're on call.  No new cases, last ones closed.  We thought we'd save you guys on cab fare."

"That's fine," Mac agreed, smiling at their SUVs when they got to them. "Who's on call today?"

"I am, she is, and you are starting at midnight," Sheldon reminded him.  "Then Danny and Stella are due in tomorrow."

"That's fine," Mac agreed, sliding in to drive.  Don found the baby seat in their stuff, getting Eric into it.  He pouted.  "Tough, Eric.  You know better."  He settled in to look at everything as they drove.  "Did you remember to call your boss?"

"Yup.  She's still probably swearing at me.  I told her I'd do paperwork from home."  He smiled as Sheldon got into the front with them.  Lindsey, Stella, and Danny got the other one, with Stella driving.  "You brought her?" he asked once they were moving.

Sheldon shrugged.  "It seemed like the nice thing to do.  They're both signed out to the team for the night, Mac.  So you can drop us off at the office and head home."  Mac glanced at him when they pulled up to the toll booth, paying their ticket.  Then he moved on.  "I've noticed it, Mac.  Even if she hasn't.  I'm happy that you three are so cute together."

"Hold on, she caught the three of them together when we had the jerky around.  She didn't realize it after that?"

"She thought it was need and stress relief."  Sheldon shrugged.  "Don't ask me. I knew before then."

"Mac, are you sure she's a good CSI?"

"I'm sure, Don," he said, shaking his head.  "Being clueless about personal interaction is a handicap but not that much of one.  Danny can be clueless too."

"Point."  He checked on the baby, watching him watch the houses go past.  "Yeah, that's New York.  It's a huge place, huh?"  His nephew looked at him and nodded.  "That's okay.  You'll be with me the whole time and we'll go to the world's biggest toy store so you can find something new for Toddy and Liz."

"Toys?" he asked, leaning closer.  "Toys for Eric?"

"Toys for you too," he agreed with a grin.  Eric beamed at that. "You can help me pick out something for their holiday presents too."

"Ooh, Santa?" he asked, nearly cooing the name.

"Yup, he comes in a few months," Don promised, smiling at him.  "Have you been a good boy?"  Eric gave him that same devilish grin.  "Maybe he'll make an exception since you're a mini-Xander."  Eric let out a wicked chuckle.  "That's my nephew."  He grinned at Sheldon.  "Danny spent the whole flight teaching him to call her Montana."

"I saw the look on her face.  She wasn't happy with him," Mac promised, pulling onto one of the bridges.  "Okay, we'll hit Don's place first since it's closer.  Make sure he's all settled in with Eric for the next few days."

"Then I'm flying back with him and coming back," Don agreed.  He pulled out his phone, calling his dad.  "Yo, Dad, we're back and I'm babysitting someone tonight.  Wanna come over?"  He smirked.  "I think you'll like Eric."  He hung up on the moan.  "My dad's having a 'my son is doing girl things' day again apparently."

Sheldon smiled at that.  "I guess it happens to the best of us."  He smiled at Eric, who was staring in awe at the buildings.  "Yeah, we went for really big ones instead of shiny like in Miami."

"Huge, giant, houses," Eric said, pointing.  "Wow."

"Yeah, huge, giant houses," Don agreed, smiling at him and smoothing down his hair. "We've gotta get you a trim too, Eric.  Plus a jacket."  He caught Sheldon's grin.  "Not like I've got one ta spoil," he defended.

"It's cute seeing you as the doting uncle.  You're going to have spoiled kids when you're the father."

"Of course.  It'll be the only way my kids won't end up being mini-Xander's too."  Mac laughed at that.  "Go right, Mac.  They've been doing the sidewalk again.  It's harder to get into the parking garage from this side."  Mac nodded, heading around the block so they could pull into the garage and park.  Don got his bag, letting Mac get the baby and carseat, heading up to his apartment.  He walked in and sighed. "Ah, home!"

Mac let Eric out and down, watching as he walked over to the windows to stare outside.  "Don't worry, you'll be back in Miami soon, Eric.  Just let your daddy have a nap first."  He got a glance but Eric went back to watching the city.

Don grinned. "Maybe he'll follow us into the labs?"  He went into the kitchen, opening the fridge.  "I've got milk, maybe, soda, beer, and water. Anyone want something?"

"I'll take a water," Sheldon offered, going to let the others in.  "Hey."

"This is nice," Lindsey said, looking around.

"It should be for what I pay for rent," Don admitted, handing him and Stella waters, and Danny a soda.  "I got water and soda, Monroe, Mac?"

"I'm good," he promised, smiling at Eric.  He came over to pull Stella back to sit and watch with him so he could have her lap.

Danny watched, then looked at Mac, leaning next to his ear.  "If you wanted, talk to her tonight," he whispered. "Get her while she's still in soft and cuddly mode, Mac.  I won't mind."  He sat down and looked at Don.  "Isn't this the one you inherited?"

"It is," he agreed, coming out.  "Still have to pay yearly taxes.  It's a nice condo."  He sat down, getting comfortable.  "The one in Miami is larger, but this one is more homey."

"It is," Danny agreed, grinning at him.  "Plus it's got all your game stuff."

"Well, yeah," he agreed with a smirk.  Someone tapped on the door.  "Someone get that."  Lindsey did that.  He nodded at the security guard.  "Hey, we're back."

"And I see you brought a new friend," he said, looking at the baby.

Don grinned.  "His mom's in the hospital and his dad's tired. He's worn himself out fussing so I'm sitting for the next few days."

"That's fine," he agreed happily.  "The two SUV's?"   Don pointed at Mac. "Also fine.  Any other visitors tonight, sir?  Oh, and the Martez's on four are having a party tonight to celebrate their daughter's birthday."

"That's fine.  I don't ever hear any noise from anyone. My dad might be up."  He finished his water.  "Sorry, long flight from Miami."

"I can imagine.  I'll make note of that.  Have a good night, sir."  He left, going to make notes on the security forms.

Don looked at Stella.  "You parked in the wrong spot?"

"Yeah, your other one was full of a Mercedes."

"That's fine.  It's got PD tags."  He shrugged.

Sheldon looked at him.  "Can I look around?"

"Sure, go ahead."  He and Lindsey both got up to look around.  "Don't touch my x-box if it's on.  I have a game on pause I think."

"Sure, Don," Sheldon agreed, smiling at that.

Don turned on his stereo with the remote, turning it to a quieter station than it had been on, getting a look from Danny and a grin.  "What?  I was packing and cleaning to it.  Eric got me hooked.  I still can't dance like him."

"Neither can I," Danny offered.  "I've got passion and fire, but not like that."  Stella snorted.  "Hey, no comments from the peanut gallery."

"If you're doing more than cuddling, you're sleeping on the couch tonight, Danny.  I'm still sore."

He grinned back at her. "Always happy to serve, Stella."

"Man, Delilah thought I was bad," Don snorted, shaking his head. He got up to get another bottle of water.  "Mac, you sure?"

"I'll take a water, Don."

"Does this mean you're going to be doing more of the social rounds?" Stella asked.

"I might," he admitted, bringing back more bottles of water and handing them out, then going back for his and another soda for Danny.  He headed into his bedroom, finding Sheldon admiring the view and Lindsey in his closet.  "They're just suits, Monroe."  He clapped Sheldon on the back. "It's a pretty view," he agreed quietly.  "You should see it after dark."

Sheldon grinned at him.  "If that was an offer I'll have to remind you I'm straight."

Don smacked him across the back of the head.  "So am I, dumbass."  Sheldon laughed at that, nudging him.  Don grinned back.  "Seriously though, it's stunning at night with all the lights.  I turn the recliner around and stare when I wanna think."  He pulled Monroe out of his closet and shut the doors, shaking his head when she walked out.  Sheldon smirked at that.  Don rolled his eyes, letting him go first.  He checked his gun then put it up into a drawer that even he had trouble pulling open.  It would do for tonight.  Eric knew not to touch guns.  He headed back out, finding his dad there.  "Hey, dad.  Want some water or soda?"

"No, that's all right, son.  Who is that little one?  Yours?"

"No, Xander's.  That's our nephew."  His father opened his mouth and Don held up a finger.  "Xander is family, even by marriage.  I don't care if you don't like it and think he's swishy."

"This would be the same Xander who helped defend the OB ward Willow was on?" Danny asked.  "The hunting, strong one who needs a nap badly?"  Don nodded.  "He's only swishy when he's playful."

"Dad only saw him the day he chewed him a new one for riding my ass," Don admitted.  "You sure, dad?  I've got some decent bottled water."

"No, I'm fine, son."  He walked over to look at the boy.  "How old are you?"

"Eric is two and a half," Stella offered, looking up at him.  "His mom's in the hospital after being bashed.  His dad wore himself out with fussing everything into place."  That got a nod.  "He'll be going home in a few days."  She poked Eric, pointing up at him.  "That's Uncle Don's daddy."

"Granddaddy?" he asked, looking confused, then at Don, who shrugged.

"I don't mind if you call me that," Don's father promised, squatting down. "It's very nice to meet you, Eric."  The boy hugged him.  "Thank you."

"He's the only grandkid you're getting for decades, suck it up," Don offered, going back to his couch.  "What were you staring at in my closet, Monroe?"

"The leather pants.  I can't imagine you in them."

"Oh, we can," Danny said dryly, shaking his head.  "Di, Eric's mom, made them for him for the fashion show we did with Xander and them to catch that serial killer."  He sipped his soda, shaking his head.  "We're both lucky we weren't jumped that night."

"True," Don agreed fondly.  "You know, she's not really doing runway shows now. At least not this year.  Ray Jr. was pouting about that."

"I figure a young guy like him was using it to pick up girls," Danny agreed.

"I think he gets plenty already," Mac offered dryly.  "When he joined Stella and I on the beach while you were with Xander and Horatio at the polo match, he got ten different girls coming up to him to hit on him.  He does cute and charming very well."

"Eeh, it means his mom's not gonna have ta nag for him ta get married," Danny offered with a smirk.  "At least he's careful."

"He is, very careful," Don agreed.  "He dates many but sleeps with very few."

"That's always safer," his father offered.  "Any new prospects in your life, son?"

"There was a very nice assistant at the polo match who gave me some play and giggled," he offered, looking back.  Eric was in his father's lap now, still staring while they told him about the various buildings.  "How's Ma?"

"Doing fine.  I'll tell her you're babysitting this little one so she can come fuss.  How're you doing work?"

"I'm doing paperwork at home.  They wanted me to burn more vacation time so I am."  He shrugged.  "I didn't take hardly any since I joined."

"I retired with nearly three month's worth," his father admitted.

"I've got about a month's worth of vacation time and six weeks of medical leave.  They wanted me to burn at least another week since we're coming to the end of the budget and it's getting tight."

"I understand why," his father agreed, sighing a bit.  "That's why your birthday was when it is.  Nothing else to do in those days."  His son snickered at that. "Seriously."  He looked at Eric.  "It's hard to believe that the mouthy one is your father, kid."

Eric looked up at him. "Moo?"

"No, no milk in the house," Stella told him.  "We'll fix that later."  She got a smile for that.  "Want some water?"

"Doggy?"

"No, Don doesn't have a dog yet."  Eric pouted.  "Talk to him."  Eric walked over to pout at his Uncle Don.

"Sorry, kiddo.  I'm not here that often.  A dog would get really lonely and bored since I'm never at home.  It wouldn't be fair to a dog."  Eric climbed into his lap, cuddling him.  "I was thinking about a turtle or something."  Eric shook his head, grimacing.  "Madison has one."

"Madison has snake," he said firmly.  "Turtles boring."

"Okay, turtles are boring," Don agreed.  Danny grinned at that, leaning on Sheldon's arm as he laughed.  "They kinda are.  They're nice calm pets though."  Danny nodded at that.  He looked at his nephew.  "If I was home more often I'd get a pet.  But I'm almost never home."

"Meany."

"I know.  But it'd be meaner to make them hang out here all day by themselves and be bored."  He patted him on the back.  "Make Mac call your mommies."  That got a squeal and Mac dialed them, talking quietly before handing the boy the phone and letting him babble at her.  "You do that pretty well, Mac."

"I have two nephews I haven't seen in forever," he admitted.

Danny looked at him.  "Why not?"

"I haven't been home."

"Why not?" he asked, taking another drink of his soda.  "No one said you can't visit, Mac.  Should we drug you and stick your ass on a plane like Xander did for Speed?"  Mac shook his head. "You sure?"  Mac nodded.  "Then at least call 'em tonight, make sure they know you're still alive."

"I write my mother all the time."

"So?"

"Fine, I'll call tonight," Mac promised, patting him on the back of the head.  "Better?"  Danny nodded.  "Thank you for reminding me."

"Not a problem."  He looked back at Stella, who was giving them an 'aren't they adorable' look.  "Yes, he is," he said with a smirk.  She kissed him on the top of the head, coming over to help Eric talk to them.  He was mooing again.

Don's father came back as well. "He's very energetic, son."

"That's how he wore out Xander and Xander's new dog."  His father laughed.  "Seriously.  Xander's exhausted."

"I noticed something about that," Danny offered. "Xander didn't eat at the blessing ceremony."  Don looked at him.  "Horatio came home to dinner and Xander didn't eat with him either."

Don pulled out his phone and called down there.  "Has your boy been forgetting to eat, Horatio?  Danny thought caught him skipping meals."  He nodded.  "That makes more sense.  Sure."  He hung up. "He's been worrying and fussing.  Willow said he does that so he's been watching out for it.  He's asleep right now."

"Good.  He could use it."  He shrugged. "It's good that Ray Jr. helps Xander so much but he's been working on his self-defense skills, plus dealing with Eric, plus the foundation stuff, plus all the other stuff.  Plus their injuries."

"I have the feeling their copayments are already covered," Stella offered, hanging up the phone after Eric had blown a lot of kisses and handed it over.

"Probably true," Don agreed.  "At least they're okay."

"They are," Mac agreed.

"What happened?" Don's father asked.

"His stepmother's sister's boyfriend decided to bash them for being together," Danny offered.  "They had a pretty bad set of head injuries."

"They're going to be fine?"  Mac nodded.  "Good.  They've done a good job so far."

"A lot of that is Xander's doing, dad.  He spends a lot of time with Eric.  He's got him at least three days a week so his mom can work."

"Then he sounds like a good father too," he agreed quietly, looking at his son. "I'm sure when you get around to having one or two, you'll do the same."  Don nodded at that, grinning slightly.  "Any new girls in your life, son?"

"Nope."

"He's been doing a lot of cleaning though," Danny offered.  "We were joking about him being pregnant."  Don Sr. moaned at that.  "Sorry but it's kinda funny."

"It is, but not a mental image I needed."  Eric came over and gave him a hug, taking it away.  "Thank you, Eric."  He pointed at the windows. "Sure, we'll go look some more."   He led him that way, going to help him look.

Don grinned at Stella.  It was better than he had gotten as a kid.  He was clearly ready for grandkids.  "Hey, dad, you know I could adopt one without the mother."

"Son, that's unfair to the child.  It takes two parents to calm most of them down and keep up with them."

Danny looked back at him.  "It takes six people to handle him.  Both fathers, both mothers, Eric Delko and his momma."  That got a smile.  "He mooed for two weeks straight, didn't even sleep for part of it."  Don Sr. chuckled at that.  "Kept up the daddy, the mommy, and the Delkos when they watched him while his daddy had chicken pox."

"Some kids are like that," he agreed.  "Some of that is the parents not training him."

"Xander's got hyper moments too," Don assured him.  "Hey, Eric, can you get me another bottle of water?"  He got up and went running into the kitchen, hauling on the door until it came open, then bringing one back with the biggest grin. "Thanks, Eric."  He gave him a cuddle.  The boy kissed him on the cheek before wiggling down and going back to the window.  "Looks like he's comfy now."  He popped it open, then looked at it.  "I bought lemon water?"  He shrugged and drank it anyway.  The plane had dried him out.

"We should get home, let you get him fed and down for the night," Mac offered, standing up.  The others followed suit, hugging or waving at Don as was their personality.

Don shifted so he could watch both of them. "He's one hell of a kid but I will warn you he'll wear you out.  We're going to FAO Schwartz too.  He needs to help me find gifts for Toddy and Liz."

"Who are they?"

"Ryan and Willow's kids.  Liz was just born last week."  He finished that water and put the bottle down.  His father looked confused. "Part of the family in Miami. Willow is Xander's best friend since the first day of school.  She married one of Horatio's guys.  So they're kinda family.  Besides, he'll be bored if he doesn't have toys."

"Toys?" Eric said, perking up. "Toys tonight?"

Don smirked.  "You're so spoiled.  What time is it?"  He looked at the clock, then at him.  "I'm not sure they're open tonight, Eric. How about tomorrow?"  He got pouted at.

"They closed an hour ago, Eric.  You can go in the morning," Sr. said calmly.  That pitiful pout was turned on him and his insides churned. "How do you do that?" he asked.

"His daddy's worse," Don admitted.  He found the phone book and called. "Hey, are you guys still open?"  He checked the clock again.  "Really?  Thanks."  He hung up and looked at him.  "They're closing in one hour so we can only go get *two* things tonight, Eric.  All right?  We'll pick up dinner while we're out."  Eric squealed and came over to hug him.

"You're going to spoil him, son."

"Yeah, but that's the beauty of being an uncle, dad."  He gathered his things and nodded, getting a nod from his father.  "You wanna come in with us?"

"Son, he'll go insane.  I can't stand that much begging and I've still got to tell your mother he's here."  He got them into his car and there, then headed home.  It was a long enough drive for the power of the pout to ease off some.  "Our son is babysitting and spoiling his nephew," he told her.  She gave him an odd look.  "You remember hearing about Patrick's will and all that?"  She nodded.  "Well, Patrick's grandson, Xander, has a son.  His mother's are in the hospital and Xander's exhausted so Don's taking the week off to watch him.  He's in FAO at the moment."  She giggled at that.  "He's a hyper little scamp."

"I'll drop by tomorrow afternoon."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "Is he adorable?"

"He is and he's got the strongest pout.  That's why they're in the toystore."  She laughed at that, dragging him into the kitchen.  "The boy's son is very good."

"Maybe he'll get Don thinking about going back to that nice woman he used to have."

"She went back to her ex."

She frowned.  "That's a shame.  I had such high hopes for her.  It takes a special woman to be the wife of a cop.  A very patient one."  His father nodded at that, digging into his dinner.  "He'll be fine with him tonight?"

"Oh, yeah.  He's clearly comfortable with the kid being there.  Oh they went to watch polo with the boy's fathers."

"Why?"

"Because they've got to do some society things for the Foundation, dear," he said patiently.  "Xander did one while he was up here for a rest."

"Is he fragile?"

"No, but his ex was gaybashed with her new girlfriend.  They didn't say it but a lot of stuff's been going on plus he's working with his nephew on his self-defense and stuff.  He's worn himself to a nub."  He took his plate and dug in.  "It's good, thanks."

"Welcome."  She sat down across from him.  "Maybe he should come back up for a real rest."

"His husband's got him."

"I've never known a man who could mother properly."

"I think you'd be surprised.  They were all acting like his boy's got a good grip on his leash.  He's one of those CSI that Donny hangs out with.  They were all over with him."  He ate another bite.  "That one girl was really good with the boy.  Taylor was giving her a lot of long looks too, so maybe they'll have a wedding soon."  She smiled at that.  "They'll be fine.  Call him later tonight or tomorrow to see when a good time to go fuss is."  She nodded, going to do that.

***

Don handed back the baby.  "He was very good and he's very tired.  We went all around the city.  Spent some time in the various ethnic areas.  He liked the Buddhist monks we ran into and hugged one, getting a smile and a flower.  He loved the Greek food we took Stella out to.  He laughed at the break dancers."  Xander grinned at that.  "He got to see me bust two guys who tried to mug us.  He clapped at my magnificence."  Xander giggled at that and Horatio moaned.  "He was on my back that day.  They were dumb.  Huh, Eric?  The crooks were really dumb to try ta take my wallet with you there."  Eric giggled and nodded, hugging his father.  "How's Di?"

"Good," Xander agreed.  "Home tomorrow.  She's already demanded that the baby's coming home."

"That's because you're just now getting back to your bouncy self," Horatio reminded him.  He shook his head.  "He was worried about the Watchers coming after them again and them.  I finally got him to admit it and rest last night."

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine."   He looked at Don again.  "Did he talk you into a dog?"

"No, but we compromised and I ended up getting a longhaired cat."  Eric beamed at that.  "He named it City."  Xander grinned at that.  "How's the pound thing?"

"He's still going to help," Horatio admitted tiredly.  Xander had nearly passed out helping the day before.  He gave Xander a cuddle. "They've found homes for most of them and are working on the rebuilding plans."

"Gibbs' friend did come down for that dobie," Xander told him.

"What doberman?"

"They had one that was really badly hurt.  The owners trained him wrong and he was scared and ready to attack the electronic sounds. I told him about it when I went to see him and he said he knew someone who could help retrain and calm him down."

"Good.  I know Madison's still talking about all the animals."  Xander smiled at that.  He smoothed over his hair, then Eric's hair.  "I see someone got a haircut."

"Someone else needs one," Don teased, running a hand through Xander's hair.  He noticed the flinch and knew Horatio felt it. "Who is it this time?"

"Some little brat," he sighed. "She thinks we can hide each other's bad habits.  I told her I'm comfortably out and in love, I wasn't leaving.  She's been getting pushy and trying to discredit Horatio among the others.  Melody smacked her the other day for her comments.  Told her everyone already knew she was gay."  He shrugged.  "They're working on it now with me."  He looked at Horatio.  "She's not a stalker."

"No but she's clearly upsetting you."  He took a kiss. "We're going to the dinner tonight together." Xander nodded, snuggling into his arms. "Don, did you want to join us?"

"Nah, I'll probably slap the bitch myself if I did," he said dryly.  "Think I could borrow Speed or Eric to go out tonight?"

"I think you could try Speed.  Eric's on a date," Horatio offered. Don went to make the call, getting a happy response.  He looked at his mate.  "Anyone else?"

"A bit of social sniping about the times I bring Marisol and Stella with me.  I told them Marisol was like my own sister and Stella was too.  She didn't like it. I told her I didn't care and walked away.  So now I've made an enemy, and she's middle of the pack for power and influence."

"That's fine, Xander."

"It's your boss's wife."

Horatio smirked at that.  "I heard about your fight.  He called it a tiff and I pointed out that work occasionally kept me from escorting you.  That bringing Marisol or another member of the family was totally acceptable to me. That it gave you someone to talk to when the boring people came up to you since you don't hang out with the other rich kids your age."  He petted him gently.  "He agreed it was a good idea and assured me his wife was going to start behaving.  Then again, he thinks Marisol is cute."

"He's still married and her mother is one scary woman if he tried anything."  He took his hand to hold. "I'm sorry I'm worrying."

"You're allowed.  You don't want the Foundation to look bad.  I still think you're doing an amazing job, Xander."  He kissed him again and his boy finally relaxed against him.  "Anyone else?"

"A new present showed up," he admitted quietly, looking at him. "I don't know from who."

"Neither do I yet.  We're working on it. Leave it to us, Xander."  He took another kiss, then nuzzled Eric's head when he got poked.  "I love you too, Eric."

"Mommy?"

"Will be getting you tomorrow," he promised.  Eric beamed at that.  "Would you like to go out with us tonight?"

"I get funny looks when I bring him," Xander said sheepishly.

"I don't care.  It's a charity dinner for the children's hospital.  I think he should come with us.  The same as I think Marisol should."

Xander beamed at that, calling Melody.  "Do you think it'd be okay if we bring Eric and Marisol with us tonight?  No, Horatio's coming.  He wanted the family there."  He grinned.  "Well, they did help Madison, Melody.  Of course.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "She said it'd be fine.  They're running a bit short of acceptances this year.  She'll make sure and call us back in a few."  He snuggled in, just cuddling for now, his son content to be back with them.  Don came back out with a sandwich.  "Thank you for babysitting, Don."

"Not a problem, Xander.  He charmed my parents and my mother agreed, if I had kids, he'd better turn out like him.  Ran my father ragged in the park.  Petted some horses.  We ran into a few of the mounted officers and he cooed at them."

"Funny pants," Eric agreed.  He yawned.  "Horsies nice."

"They are," Xander agreed, smiling at him.  The phone rang and Don got it.

"Xander's house."  He listened.  "Sure, I'll tell him, Melody.  Yup, this is him."  He smirked.  "No, I'm going to partake of the other party circle tonight with Speed and a few others.  There is?"  He looked at Xander.  "Are you going to the polo match tomorrow?"  Xander shrugged, looking at Horatio.

"I'm on tomorrow but you can go," he promised.

"Horatio said we could go," Don agreed.  "Sure, I'll be there."  He hung up.  "We're on, it's at one at the country club out by Star Island."  Xander nodded, he knew that place.  "Will we have a problem getting in?"

"Nope.  They offered me membership," Xander admitted.  He looked at Horatio.  "I said I'd talk to you about that sometime when we had a minute."

Speed walked in and turned on the tv, then pointed at it.  "Who was she?" he asked Xander.

Xander watched the entertainment anchor go off on how a matron had cut her children out of her will and left it to him.  "Huh."  Her picture flashed.  "That's Evangeline.  Her daughter's a whore and uses meth.  She cut her out of the family two years ago when she refused to get clean."  He called Melody back.  "Evangeline died?"  He groaned.  "It's all over the news, Melody."  He sighed.  "Thanks, dear."  He hung up and snuggled in tighter, shrugging at the odd looks. "Don't ask me.  She thought I was cute with Horatio and Eric when she saw him before he went to New York.  I have *no* clue.  I'm sure I'll find out tonight."

"We've got to get Marisol ready," Don noted, grinning at Speed.  "We still on?"  He nodded.  "Cool.  Let me go get my bag.  Horatio, want me here or the condo?"

"You can have our spare room, Don," he promised.  "Less chance of the press pouncing you here."  Ray Jr. walked in and he looked at him, watching as he walked in and leaned down to whisper in Xander's ear, getting a nod.  "Ray."

"Hi, Uncle H.  That's why she said, Xander.  It also said it was more worthy of you to get it instead of her drug using daughter.  She put it in the will."  He shrugged.  "Am I going to the dinner tonight with you or not?  If not, I've got Geometry homework."

"Up to you," Don told him.  "Melody said Marisol and Eric could go."

Xander looked back at him.  "Get Marisol ready and see if Suzie will let Madison come too.  She told Melody that she had been sick so I'm sure they all know by now."

"No, bad idea," Horatio told him firmly, giving him a squeeze.  "We want to keep her quiet, Xander."

"Fine."  Ray nodded, going to call Marisol and make sure she could get ready in time.  Xander sighed as he got up, heading into the bedroom.  "Come on, son, let's get pretty."  Eric squealed in delight.  He liked to dress up with the daddy.  "Horatio, I'm laying out your tux."

"Xander, it's not a formal event," Ray called.  "Wear your gray suit.  Melody said so."

"Sure."  He laid out that and his son's coordinating one, then Horatio's dark blue one that he had gotten him for their anniversary, taking the baby to go spoil himself in the bathroom for now.  Horatio came in to join them, and it was all good.

***

Xander smiled at Marisol as she got out of the car he had sent to get her, taking her hand to kiss.  "You look wonderful."

"Taylor made it for me," she said happily, turning so he could look her over fully.  "Thank you, Xander."

"Welcome."  He smiled at her.  "Okay, do you want front and breaking the press or rear?"

"I'll take your free side," she decided.  They got into the car Xander had hired and let him drive them the last block, getting out with Horatio first, then Xander and Eric, then they helped her out.  She smiled at the press people, taking Xander's other arm to walk with him.

"Xander, who's this?" someone called.

He looked at her. "This is Marisol.  She's a very good friend and is like a sister to us both."

Horatio smiled at her, getting a nod.  "She's also the mother of our second child.  She's giving us the greatest gift."  He kissed her hand and she beamed at him.  He looked at the press people.  "May we pass?"  They got out of the way.   He walked his family inside, finding Melody once Xander had paid for their tickets.  Using cash. He gave him a look and got a shrug.  "Forgot the other wallet?" he teased.

"Ray confiscated my credit card again. He took it to find our present to his mom."  He walked them inside and up to Melody.  "Hi."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "Thank you for warning Ray."

"I didn't, dear.  Isabel did."  She pointed at her. "Where is Ray?"

"Geometry."  She giggled at that and waved Isabel over.  "Isabel, I hear thanks are in order for the timely warning.  Thank you."  He kissed her on the cheek.

"It's not a problem, Xander.  That was a big shock to all of us."

"I nearly passed out," he agreed, shrugging.  "I have no idea where that came from."  He smiled at Marisol.  "Have you been formally introduced to Marisol?  She's like a sister to us and she's giving us the greatest gift of our second child."

Isabel smiled at her.  "That's wonderful, dear."  She kissed her on the cheek.  "You do look radiant and happy."

"Xander spoils me horribly."  The women laughed and nodded.  "Then again, Eric there just spent a week with his Uncle Don."  Eric smirked at her.  "Were you a good boy?"

"Toys," he said happily.

"Don took him to FAO Schwartz," Xander said with a grin. "They went all over the city together.  He even got to help Uncle Don bust a few muggers."  They giggled and took the baby to cuddle before handing him back.

"You three look adorable," Isabel promised.  "Nearly as nice as Marisol does.  You three can sit at our table, dears."  She led them that way, smiling when a high chair materialized.  "No Ray tonight?"

"Geometry homework," Xander admitted.  "His mom's back onto his grades."  She nodded, understanding that.  "He's not sure what he wants to do for college.  He was thinking about following Horatio but now he's thinking about staying my assistant."

"Being an assistant is like being a bridesmaid for life," Isabel's daughter told them as she joined them.  "No Ray?"

"Geometry."

"Then I'll see him at school tomorrow," she agreed happily.  "I heard you had to hit the bank."

"I did.  Ray's got my credit card so he can pick up our joint present to his mother."  That got a smile.  "That's okay, I had it laying in the safety deposit box.  Horatio doesn't like that so it's a good compromise."  He smiled and kissed his husband, making him smile back.  "Relax.  Your boss is across the room with his wife."

"I should say hello," he said quietly.  "Excuse me, ladies."  He walked that way.

Xander leaned closer.  "He's so worried about the brats who keep hitting on me," he shared. "Especially that one."

"I'd worry too," Isabel's daughter agreed.  She smiled at Marisol.  "I hope I can look as good when I have my children some year."  Marisol smiled and blushed.  "We adore the fact that Xander doesn't come alone anymore.  Ignore the petty people who are jealous because you're prettier and more spoiled than they've ever been.  Being that close to Xander is a special thing."  She sat down, smiling at Eric.  "Hi, Eric."  He waved and grinned.  "How was New York?"  He babbled about the city and all he had seen, making everyone around them smile.  Horatio came back.  "How is the new Chief?"

"Good.  Tired. He had meetings all day."  He sat down again, smoothing down Eric's hair.  "Uncle Don had your hair cut a bit too short.  It's sticking up again."

Eric smiled at him. "Pretty?"

"Yes, you're very pretty, Eric."  He beamed at that.

"When is his mother getting out, Xander?" Isabel asked.

"Tomorrow. They both get to go home then and she's demanded I hand the son over immediately.  She's missed spoiling him."  That got some knowing looks.  "She was amused that Don took him home to show him off to his parents too."  That got a laugh from Marisol.  "How's your mom?"

"She's doing good.  She wondered why you haven't called."

"I spent all this week asleep."  He yawned.  "I wore myself out fussing."

"That's what Eric told her after you collapsed at the pound."  She patted him on the hand.  "You need to take better care of yourself."  She smiled at the couple coming over.  "Chief Brousard."

"Marisol.  How is your brother?"

"Doing well. He's on a date tonight, finally."  That got a few laughs from Isabel's daughter.  "My mother is pushing for another daughter soon."

"I know that feeling," Isabel admitted, looking at her own daughter. "I do wish you'd date someone nicer, like Ray."  She smiled at the chief.  "Did you hear the wonderful news, Chief Brousard?  Marisol is giving them a second child."

"I hadn't heard more than the rumors," he admitted, kissing Marisol's hand.  "Congratulations.  You as well, Horatio and Xander.  I'm sure Eric will make a great big brother."

"He does a good job with Ryan Wolfe's kids," Xander agreed happily.  "Lots and lots of practice."  That got a laugh from his wife.  "He started out trying to take Toddy from his parents.  Liz is the same way, even though he can't make her play yet."

The Chief's wife smiled at Horatio.  "So, will we see you more often?"

"As work allows.  Unfortunately Miami never closes and crime still happens around the clock.  Xander is very patient with my hours."  She nodded, accepting that.  "Which is why I like him bringing Marisol and Ray, or Stella in New York.  It gives him someone to go back to when he's tired and someone to watch his back."  He looked at her and she inclined her head gently.  He smiled at his boss. "I finished that paperwork and forwarded it earlier."

"That's fine, Horatio. I'm sure my assistant can handle it so I don't have to.  Will you need any time off to deal with this will?"

"Hopefully not.  If so, I'll switch my days off.  I shouldn't have to take any vacation time."

Xander put a hand on his.  "I would like to steal him for a week late July or early August, Chief.  Would that be okay?"

"He's got the time and you do look tired, Xander."

"He's fussed himself into too many naps," Marisol agreed quietly. "He nearly passed out helping at the pound."

"I heard.  I'm glad he's okay and it's settled."  Eric tugged on his hand.  "Yes, young man?"  Eric held up his cup.  "Ask your fathers.  I'm not the waiter."

"Sorry."

"That's all right, Eric.  You'll learn who we are by sight soon enough I'm sure."  He smiled and stroked over his hair. "Did you have fun on your vacation?"  He beamed and nodded.  "Then I'm happy for you.   We'll let you talk about this new development."

"It was a shock to me," Xander admitted.  "And the press pounced us."  He pouted slightly.  "I'm glad we live behind gates now."  Horatio nodded that he agreed.  He squeezed Marisol's hand as their tormentor came over.  "Amanda."  He smiled at Horatio. "Dear, this is Amanda DuPruis."

"Charmed," he said, standing up to shake her hand.  "Horatio Caine."

"He's one of our finest Captains," the Chief agreed, smiling at Amanda.  "Did you hear that Marisol is giving them their second child?"

"I hadn't.  Congratulations."  She smiled at Eric. "I see you came as well."

"We're all very strong in our support of the Children's Hospital," Xander told her quietly.  "We've had to have family treated there."  Horatio looked at him.  "Toddy had to go too for his ears.  Eric sees the specialist there about his eye."

"They do," he agreed calmly.  He kissed his hand, then held it on his lap.  "You've always been very generous to the hospital, Xander.  I like that."  Xander smiled at that.  He smiled at his boss.  "Before you ask, she's still in remission and is doing just fine."

"That's good to know, Horatio.  She's a sweet little girl."  He clapped him on the back.  "We're going to see the other side of the room.  Don't forget the planning meeting about the drug taskforce."  Horatio nodded so he walked his wife off, Amanda following.

"Sorry," Xander said quietly.

"It's still protecting her," he promised.  "It's all right."  He kissed his hand again.  Isabel's daughter sighed, making him smile at her.  "Some day you'll find a nice man who treats you as well as I treat him."

"I hope so.  Do you, um, think Ray would mind if I asked him out?  I know he's a bit of a playboy."

"He said it's stress relief until he can find a real woman to be with," Marisol assured her quietly.  She smiled at that.  "Try to help him with his history homework. He was complaining to my brother Eric about it recently."

"I remember your brother's photos in the catalog," she admitted with a blush.

"My mother calls him a slut," she shared, making her giggle and Isabel hide it behind her napkin. "That's why Momma is so anxious to have a new daughter-in-law."  Xander nodded, earning more giggles.

Xander waved a waiter over.  "Can we have some water and some for the son as well?" he requested. "Just ice."  He nodded, going to get that for them, bringing back an extra glass for Eric's cup.  Xander smiled and tipped him, getting a smile back.  He fixed his son's cup and handed it to him. "Don't spill it."  Eric sipped.  Then he giggled.

"Fart.  'Scuse me."

Isabel looked at him.  "I know that wasn't you who taught him that, Xander."

"No, that was Uncle Don.  You don't have to announce it son, just excuse yourself," he told him.  Eric nodded, beaming at that.  "Only announce it to the dog at home."

"Okay."  He sipped again.

"We've got to check his diet," Horatio sighed, shaking his head.  "Sorry about that.  He's only two."

"That's fine, Horatio.  At least he apologized," Isabel's daughter said, patting him on the wrist.  "That's better manners than my soon to be ex-boyfriend."  He smiled at that.  "He tried to blame one on my dog."

Xander snorted.  "Frat boy?"  She nodded.  "You can do so much better, Candace.  You're a smart and attractive young woman with taste and skills.  He'll only drag you into the same crew that Paris and them run in."

"Which is nice but I'd hate to be that hunted," she agreed.  She sipped her drink.  Her mother looked at her. "I don't mind being quietly famous, mother, but not hunted like her.  They went through her *trash* for things.  They track her cycle."

"True.  That would be a bad thing."  She kissed her on the cheek.  "If you wanted to try to date Ray, I wouldn't mind.  He's a nice, polite young man with a bright future.  No matter which path he takes."  She smiled at Horatio. "It's clear he takes after you."

"Myself and his mother," he agreed.

"Every now and then he likes to dress up like Horatio and pose just like him to fluster her or make her laugh," Xander shared, earning a smile.  "Scared her the first time.  She nearly cried."  Marisol giggled at that.  "Seriously, in the office at work."  She pointed discreetly and they all looked, then groaned.  "That poor girl.  Someone should save her from the drunken lech."  He got up and walked over there, smiling at her.  "Tamara, love," he said, pulling her away, earning a smile. "How are you?  I missed you while I was helping the pound rebuild, dear.  Did you go to the adoption fair?  I know there was one dog that Madison and I dressed up specially for you."

"Who're you?" the man demanded.

Xander looked at him. "Someone less rude.  Do you think perhaps you should zip it up and go straighten yourself out?" he suggested quietly.  "You're embarrassing her."  The man made a grab for him so he applied pressure to his shoulder, looking like he was catching him as he stumbled. "You're hanging out of your pants and it's pitiful," he said in his ear. "Go clean yourself up before you embarrass everyone."  He let him go and he stumbled off.  He led Tamara off.  "I'm so sorry he was rude, dear."  He led her back to her friends.  "Ladies.  I return her back to your safety."

"Thank you, Xander.  He was horrible," she protested, kissing him on the cheek. "He made him zip himself back up as well."  The girls all smiled at him.  "Who is the young woman you brought?"

"Marisol.  She's Eric Delko's sister.  He works with Horatio and she's kinda like an adopted sister to me.  Especially since she's giving Horatio our second child."  That got some squeals and they led him back there to hug and congratulate them.  Xander sat down and took the hand sanitizer from Isabel to do his hands.  "Thank you, Isabel.  I can't abide by drunks."

"I understand, Xander."  She tucked the bottle back into her purse. "Ladies, less fussing," she chided.  "I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot of Marisol since she and Xander are like siblings."  They smiled and headed back to their tables.  "Sorry, Marisol."

"No, it's all right.  I'm used to being fussed over thanks to Xander.  He sent me to the spa yesterday and told them to do whatever I wanted."  That got a smile.  "He's very sweet."

The Chief came back.  "Nice moves, Xander.  Thank you."

"Not a problem, Chief. I loathe drunks," he said quietly, looking up at him.  That got a smile and a nod.  "Besides, he was hanging out. That's disgracing the women around him who had to look at him."  That got a smile from his wife.  "It is."

"It is," she agreed, walking him off.  "I'll see you at the polo match tomorrow?"

"We hope so," Xander agreed happily.

"What is polo?" Marisol asked.

"It's like croquet without the little arches, only it's played on horses and you get to tailgate," Xander told her.  "We're bringing Don."

"Don's very sweet," she agreed with a light blush.  Xander gave her a look and she shrugged lightly.  "He is."

"He is."  He smiled and nodded slightly, giving her his permission to try her hand at snagging Don.  She smiled at that, blushing again.  He smiled at Isabel.  "I think Don could use a sponsor now and then.  He's still worried about how it'll impact him at work."

"I understand his concerns and I'll talk with him tomorrow, Xander.  There's a few matrons up there who would *adore* having him around more often.  If only so they can look at his coworkers."  Marisol giggled at that.  "Seriously."

Xander nodded.  "Stella and I got asked a lot about Mac and Danny.  There were plenty of people who registered their interest to be the creamy filling between Mac and Danny, or Mac and Don, or Danny and Sid Hammerback, their ME.  A few who wanted Sheldon and Danny or Sheldon and Mac too."  She blushed at that.  "They're all very pretty and Stella blushed about half the night."  He winked at her.  "I get asked about Eric all the time and if he's dating.  A few wanted to know about Timmy too.  One very nice young woman wanted introduced to Calleigh."  She blushed brighter.  "Really."

"You're so bad," she chided, swatting him on the arm.  "Behave, Xander."

"He is," Isabel assured her.  "This is the Xander we're used to."  They heard the shot and sighed, looking at Horatio.  He walked that way with his boss, going to take care of the situation.  "Well, he's even made sure you stay behind, Xander. I'm impressed."

"Horatio likes to protect me.  We worked it out. He does the hard stuff and I'm the wall he crushes people against if necessary."  He looked up as someone came in and got up.  "Excuse me.  Watch the son please."  He walked over there, casually tripping the person and knocking his gun out of his hand.  "Hi.  Are you terminally stupid?"  The man started to babble. "I'm not the one you have to justify yourself to, but if you don't quit, it's going to be God himself."  He quit and laid still.  "Thank you."  He took his hood off.  "Ah, the valet.  Dear?"  He came in and got that one too, and the gun.  "He's babbling already."

"I'll tell them to talk to him first, Xander."  He took a kiss.  "Nice work.  Now go sit down."  Xander nodded, going back there, stopping to get another bottle of water for himself.  Horatio smiled as he took them out to hand over to the patrol units.

"Would he join the department?"

"Originally he was going to be our profiler but the Foundation takes up most of his time.  He helps us when we need it," he assured him.  "I don't want him being an officer."

"I understand."  He handed over his last one.  "There.  Let's get cleaned up and go back to our spouses.  Before mine worry."  Horatio nodded, going to do the same thing.  It was another day in Xander's Miami.

Swimming And Guns

Xander walked into Willow's apartment, slamming the door behind him.  "I've officially had enough!" he announced.

"Why?" Willow asked calmly.  It wasn't often she got to see the drama queen Xander could become but when he came out to play it was best to simply watch and not participate.  Participation led to conspiracies and other bad things that would make her husband freak in a bad way.

"She touched something sacred," he said as he sat down and pulled the kids into his lap to calm himself with.

"One of the hummers?"

"NO!"  He looked at her.  "My nemesis tried to have Horatio fired.  She talked to Brousard's wife; she complained about having *working* people among them and how she was sure I had enough money to support us both, even without the foundation."  She nodded slowly.  "One of the other matrons told me," he finished, nearly pouting.  "That means the chief's wife might go to him about that and then Horatio would end up leaving Miami for another city."

She considered it.  "Have you warned him yet?"

"Not yet.  I hate that I'm hurting his career.  I feel like I'm destroying it by being married to him.  First my stalkers, then the bigots at the station, and now this."  He was certainly pouting now.  Willow's son Todd was hugging him because he looked so pitiful.

"Okay, let me warn Ryan about this so he can tell the others.  Then we'll see what we can dig up on the society slut.  Okay?"  Xander nodded, hugging the kids tighter.  She text messaged her husband then got to work digging up dirt.

***

Ryan looked at his phone, frowning greatly at it.  "Xander is making the kids sad.  Warn Horatio someone's gunning for him through the chief's wife," he read aloud.  He looked at Speed.  "Does that make sense to you?"

"Sounds like one of the bigot patrol went to the chief's wife to get him fired so Xander went to pout at your wife again."

"Unhappy, vengeful wife when I get home then."  He called Horatio.  "It's Ryan.  Willow just texted me.  Xander's apparently depressing my offspring due to someone trying for you through the chief's wife.  She wanted you warned.  Not a clue, Horatio.  You might check at my place and ask your spouse before I have a pissed, vengeful, and pouting wife instead of my scheming brat."  Speed laughed.  "She is!  I pity any girl who dumps our son."  He listened then nodded.  "Sure, Horatio. If you need me to."  He hung up.  "I've got to distract Willow."

"I don't think even Xander could have that much sex," Speed joked.

"I've got ways of calming her back down.  Any good husband or boyfriend does.  I'm sure you can calm Calleigh down when she's in a snit."

"No, I duck and cover until she's done and then work on her.  The smart man runs from her in those moods."  He smirked at the head shake.  "What do you do?"

"Willow's a natural fusser.  I'll go home needing fussed over and talk her into sex."

Eric pulled up and got out of his hummer.  "Ryan, H said to go stop her.  She's hacking a rehab facility.  He also said to send Xander to him."  Speed snickered.  "What happened this time?"

"We think someone's trying to get Horatio fired for being with Xander again," Ryan admitted.  He gathered everything and headed to his car.  "I'll be back after lunch."

"Don't tell her I was mean to you again," Eric called.  "Last time she tried to hit me."

"You're a good excuse."

"Don't you dare, Wolfe!" Eric yelled.

"Fine, mother."  He got into his car and drove away.

"Does he do that to you?" Eric complained to Speed.

"Willow knows you deserve it when I pick on you.  You have that whole frat boy thing going."

"Gee, thanks."

"Welcome.  We were done here anyway."

"Is Xander still cleaning your gun?"

"Yup.  Every week.  He does mine, Horatio's, and whatever he's carrying in the office."

"At least it's getting done," Eric decided.  He looked around.  "We're not looking at the bags of trash over there?" he asked with a point.

"According to our single witness, the other guy shouted 'you whoring bitch' and shot our vic.  He didn't mention them carrying trash.  Said it looked more like two friends out for ice cream.  Then the sudden shouting.  So either they were together or our vic told him something."  He shrugged.  "She wasn't paying attention to them, she had her constipated dog to cajole."  Eric could only nod at that.  Only in Miami.  "Help me get everything inside the hummer."  Eric did that so they could both go back to the labs.

***

Ryan walked into his house, zeroing in on the candy wrappers.  "Are we teaching the kids bad habits?"

Xander grabbed the wrappers to throw them out.  "Sorry, Ryan."

"She let you eat three candy bars?"  His wife was usually less torturous to them than that.  So apparently he had to put her into a really good mood to counter it.

"No, one was mine, he's trying to protect me," Willow admitted with a grin for him.  Horatio had made it clear Xander had a two candy bar limit and Ryan had seen why up close and personal once.  It was more than enough.  He still had nightmares about little Eric bouncing around the way his daddy had taught him and their son Todd that day.

He took the laptop, checking before he shut it down.  "Horatio knows what you were doing.  He said to stop it."  She pouted.  "No hacking. You promised it was only for emergencies and we've still got options to stop the brat."  He hauled her up, taking a kiss.  "Xander, can you babysit?"

"Sure.  Come on, Toddy.  Let's go terrorize the Percy dog."  His nephew squealed, running for the diaper bag and his shoes.  "Maybe we'll go snatch Eric too."  He waved at them before taking the kids off.

Ryan looked around, sighing as he led Willow off to help him clean.  Then she could tease him so they could have sex.  It was odd but it worked well for them and he realized she was slowly retraining his OCD issues, but that was okay too.

***

Xander frowned as he opened the door, finding his husband there.  "It wasn't locked."

"I was giving myself time to calm down.  When did you get a new car?"

"My other was a lease and it was up.  Ray Jr. got to switch out too."  He looked at the more modest coupe, then at his husband.  "You don't like the green interior with the silver body?"

"I was more worried that we had a fourth car."  He came inside, staring at the napping children.  Then at his mate.  "Teaching them how to destroy a socialite with attitude?" he joked.

"No, teaching them about animals.  They're too young to help me do more than create chaos for her.  Before you ask, I haven't talked to Ethan yet."  He sat down, earning a look from the dog.  "Go back to sleep, Percival.  Daddy's home."  The dog barked at Horatio before dropping his played-out head back down.  "We played before we went over the animal book again.  The landscaper you found did a really good job."

"I thought you hired him," Horatio said.  He frowned.  "I said we should think about one."

Xander shrugged. "I'll call tomorrow to make sure."  He twitched the throw back over Eric's feet.  "They did a really nice restoration job."

"Good.  That's good.  Any more incidences?"  Xander shook his head.  "Even better.  Can we drop them off at their homes so we can go to dinner?"  Xander grinned and nodded, calling the parents before going to get dressed.  The suit he came out in got a smile and a nod.

"Rebecca called to see if we'd like to come watch her son at his debut event."

"Which sport is he in?"

"Gymnastics.  They said he's pretty good.  They offered him a scholarship position."

"We can go if you want and I'm not on a case," Horatio agreed.  It wasn't his sport of choice but he knew Xander wanted to support his former athletics department.  "Do we need to get tickets?"

"I'll check in the morning."  Xander grinned at him.  "You think I'm being silly, huh?"

"No, I know you want to support the department that supported you."  He took a kiss as Taylor walked in and gathered the kids and diaper bags.  "Willow's not coming?" he asked when he broke free.

"She asked me to drop them off.  Ryan is making her clean her car or else no sex for a month," she said with a catty grin.

"Sounds like she went too far in her teasing," Xander said happily.  "I wonder if he needs my riding crop from that one act."

Taylor gave him an odd look.  'I'm sure he can handle her, but when were you an actor, Xander?"

Xander beamed.  "I'm not.  I used to be a stripper.  Di and I met in Montreal because she did most of my outfits."  She blushed at that, shooing the kids out.  He looked at his husband and shrugged.  "I guess Di never told her."

"Apparently not," he agreed, taking another long, slow kiss.  "Ready?"

"Wallet and keys."  He grabbed them so he could follow wherever Horatio would lead.

***

"Xander, dear, have you never heard of a nanny?" Rebecca asked.  She was a petite redhead who was married to the head of a mortgage company.

"Yeah, but we do n't need one.  Are others complaining that I'm bringing Eric around again?"

"Not really.  It's usually seen as an endearing quirk."

"I like being an active father.  The times I can't, he's got two great mothers and some tolerant aunts and uncles."

"It would keep you from wearing out their good nature when you suddenly have to be out of town, like last month," she offered gently.

Xander looked at her, then snorted.  "I had chicken pox, Rebecca.  His mother went out of town during that convention and I broke out just after we got home.  One of the board members up there had some sort of adult relapse and I was exposed by him when I got trapped up there.  Di took the time to take a vacation with her lady.  She left us a message on the machine.  I'm really glad we didn't have to rely on Willow since she was pregnant then."  He pulled Eric out of his stroller, waking him up.  "Watch the talented people, Eric."

"Mommy clothes?"

"No, your mommy didn't design them.  Someone guy in a gym did," he told him with a pat on the back.

"Shoot."

Rebecca smiled at the cuteness of Xander's son.  "He's an adorable baby but a nanny would give him more stability."

"We tried that.  She never got him.  I get him three afternoons a week and at least 2 full days.  More when his mom's coming up on a show.  It's better than most couples get after a divorce.  Besides, he's happy, content, and very stable.  Even if I do occasionally have to go to one of his aunts.  Marisol considers him like her stepson.  She threatened me if I didn't let her watch him this last week.  She pouted and everything."

She shook her head.  "I know I invited you a week and a half ago.  How long have you had him this time?"

"Nine days.  His mother's humoring me," he said with a wicked smirk, turning it into a pleased smile when Horatio sat down next to them.  "Hi."  He stole a kiss.  "Done?"

"Solved, confessed, the DA has him now."

"'Scuse me," Eric said politely.

Horatio looked at their son.  "What did you feed him this time?"

"Cookie crisp."

Horatio stared him down.  "I thought we agreed not to feed him blatant sugar rushes that would give us the child from hell."

"We did but we ran out of Life and he hates your granola cereal.  So we had cookie crisp this morning.  He's napped so far, Horatio.  Quit worrying."  He glanced at Rebecca.  "She thinks we should get a new nanny."

"Why?  The last one kidnaped him and she never had anything but laundry to do."

"See, told you so," Xander said happily.

"Horatio, dear, wouldn't you like to spend more time alone with Xander?" she asked.

He nodded.  "I would, but people keep killing, kidnaping, and selling drugs to each other."

"Yeah, a nanny won't help the homicide rate at all," Xander agreed.  "We're red and silver, right?"  She nodded so he gave her a smile.  "If it comes down to a choice between our kids and my obligations, Don can pick up some of the slack.  Ray Jr. is my assistant until he graduates; he was raised closer to the circles I now run in than I was.  I'm thinking about keeping him on while he's in college if he goes somewhere close by."

"Your grandfather didn't help you any?"

He shook his head.  "My father ignored that he wasn't from immaculate conception.  He was a foreman at a casket company."

"Disowned?"

"According to Patrick, he walked away when he realized he wasn't going to be spoiled for his entire life."  He grinned. "I'm sure you heard how I came to Patrick's attention."

"I heard about a few wild nights when you did an open pole night," she hissed.

Xander grinned and shook his head.  "Heard of Darkness?"  She groaned but nodded.  "'Twas me before I gave it up for Horatio.  I met Patrick after we got together but he found me in Montreal while I was working up there.  Said I looked just like his first son with his first wife."

She stared at him, then giggled.  "You're kidding, right?"  They both shook their heads.  "Then... the money?"

Horatio looked at her.  "He was very heavily courted by some," he said quietly.  "Mostly by the delusional rich."

"I got given an estate in Dubai once," Xander added dryly.  She gaped.  He nodded.  "I thought everyone knew after Mrs. Winter tried to snub me publically for it."

"If it was, I was out of the gossip circle," she said finally.  Some things made so much more sense now.  "Those two who had the fight that landed them in the pool?"  Xander moaned but nodded.  It explained why some of her friends blushed when they saw him.  "Do you know Chastity's new girlfriend?"

"Casually. She worked at the female club associated with my old one.  She was pretty good but they said her ankles were going.  After the one show I had to do in drag in Montreal for a trannie convention I salute every woman who can do anything in four inch heels or higher, especially a job like that one."

She burst out laughing. "You're kidding?"  He shook his head.  "Please tell me you're kidding?" she pleaded. Horatio shook his head, giving her a look.  "I...can't... imagine...."  Xander pulled out his wallet to show her the picture, making her blush and stammer some more.

"You carry that one?" Horatio asked.

"I look at it when I have the urge to do stupid stuff."  He tucked it away again.  "It's kept me from going after Lorel for her last stunt."

Rebecca patted him on the knee, this was mental territory her mind could find a grasp in again and pull itself away from the pit of images she did not want to have.  "Let Melody handle it, Xander.  She's working on it."

"She's trying to get Horatio fired," he said impatiently.  "He's one of the few sacred things in my life.  My husband and my family.  The foundation.  The lab.  You touch those and I do react.  Strongly.  She's about to find herself in a very bad position.  Even if I have to burn every contact I have I will get anyone who comes near my husband or family."

"I'll let that be known, Xander."

"Calm down," Horatio ordered quietly.   He patted Eric on the back, getting a squeak of surprise.  He smiled at their son.  "It's impressive," he agreed.

Xander stared.  "No wonder the coaches wanted me to take tumbling lessons to help my diving," he agreed.

She looked at him.  "You dive?"

"He was on the swim and diving teams," Horatio said proudly.

"I still train three days a week for the city events," Xander told her.  "I also run five miles twice a week.  Once with the dog and the other with Horatio.   Speaking of, are we going out tomorrow, honey?"

"If you want.  I'm off tomorrow," he promised, glancing at his mate.  He was still staring in awe. "Which one is yours, Rebecca?"

"305.  He's in line for the vault."  He looked and she smiled at the cute picture the family made, Xander leaning slightly against Horatio's arm, the baby snuggled firmly into daddy's lap and playing with his other daddy's fingers.

Horatio's phone buzzed so he took it to the bathroom for some privacy.  "Diana, is there a problem?"  He listened to her rant.  "We're watching a gymnastics match with a friend of Xander's.  Her son is in his first match."  He let her rant on.  "Nine days?  If you want him back, I'll pry him out of Xander's arms," he joked.  She complained some more.  "As far as I know, we'll only be stopping to get some dinner before going home.  Seven should be fine," he agreed.  I'm sure he wasn't stealing him, Diana.  You know Xander wanted to be a hands-on father.  No, he's staring in awe.  That's fine.  Seven."  He hung up and went back to his seat.  "Diana's coming to pick him up at seven."

"I was thinking about taking him to that new animated movie," he said with a pout.

"You can take him in a few days," he soothed.

Xander sighed, leaning against his side.  Horatio kissed him on the temple.  "Fine."

"Think of all you can do without him in the house," Rebecca suggested.

Xander looked at her.  "The same stuff we do after he's in bed?" he countered.

She smirked t that.  "Probably."  She clapped for her son's performance.

***

Eric hung up, looking at his mother.  "Di wants to know if you can help her keep her son for more than three days in a row."

His brother-in-law snorted.  "They need her to babysit again?" he asked bitterly.

Eric shook his head.  "She's last on the list of babysitters.  No, she got him back for all of a night when Xander picked him up again.  That was nine days ago.  She's claiming kidnaping."  Marisol snorted.  "She is.  Xander never lets anyone watch his son unless it's an emergency or a dangerous situation."

"But that week," their other sister started.

"Xander caught chicken pox," Marisol said firmly.

"Um-huh," Eric agreed.  "I spent two weeks trapped over there bored out of my mind while H took care of him.  Di was in Barbados but unreachable.  That's why Momma had Eric that long."  That couple looked stunned.  Eric snickered at the looks they gave them.  "Xander's so hands-on with all the kids around him Willow had to take Liz home to get custody of her.  Marisol's will probably be over there all the time too."  His mother shook her head.  "He'll pout."

"Let him," she snorted.  "I can steal the baby back for us."

"We'll watch you to see how you do it," Eric joked.  "I know I can't.  He pouted Speed to swearing when he wouldn't let him babysit.  Wolfe had to repossess his earlier today too.  I'm not sure if H knew they Toddy and Liz for the last two days.  Cases have been insane."  He yawned.

Marisol's phone rang.  "Hello?"  She smirked.  "Hi, Taylor.  I don't know, let me ask Eric.  Where's the gymnastic's meet?"

"College.  It's a home match.  Probably padded the basketball court again.  Why?"

"They want to take him to dinner with them."

"Check the sports stadium complex."

She repeated that, smiling.  "Not a problem, Taylor.  You be careful and have a nice dinner."  She hung up.  "Xander snuck him off?"

Eric shook his head, giving her a look.  "Di was probably busy so he told her then.  She knew where he was."

"True, not like he was really kidnaped," Marisol agreed.

"Been there, done that," Eric agreed bitterly.  "Her sentencing is next month."

"Hopefully Xander can hold his temper," Marisol offered.

Their mother gave them a long look.  "His husband will have him well in hand," she promised them.  "That's what spouses are for.  If you two had one, you'd know that."

"Hold on," the brother-in-law said, stopping his nibbling.  "Xander, goofy, cute, former stripper Xander, is dangerous?"

The two siblings and their mother shared a look.  Eric finally looked at them.  "Xander's got a lot of experience protecting himself," he said carefully.

"That's wise with how many deranged people he draws," their sister agreed.

Their mother tutted.  "Remember those stories I told you about that place near LA?"  Their sister nodded slowly.

"Xander grew up and learned to hunt there," Eric told her.  "He's also good in explosives, tactics, and survival with how bad his parents were.  This was before he was a stripper.  Speed came back there.  That's when he took over dad duty for Xander and Willow."

"Xander's cute and cuddly until someone tries for his family," Marisol offered, stroking her stomach.  "I almost pity the clique of socialites who are trying to work against him.  Especially the one who tried to get Horatio fired."

"Horatio made Willow stop hacking her life," Eric told her.  His sister gave him a 'get real' look.  "I know.  Everyone's trying to keep Xander calm.  So far we think he's still plotting."

Marisol patted him on the cheek.  "He's already started, Eric.  Her reputation won't last that long."  He grinned at that.  "It's going to be brutal.  Willow was joking about giving vengeance demons lessons."  He laughed.  "I think they were serious."

"They probably were," he agreed happily.  "Xander considers Horatio sacred.  His whole family and the lab too."  His mother smiled at that.  "I heard he had to shoo someone away from Marisol at the spa."  She nodded. "General picking or something else?"

"Called me a faghag concubine."  She smirked.  "Xander verbally spanked her quite well and made her cry."

"I was proud of him," their mother agreed.  "He stopped when she started to cry."  She put food in front of them.  "Eat."

"Momma, dinner was only an hour ago," Marisol complained.  Her pout made her start eating but she and Eric shared a look.

***

Willow looked up as a looming presence walked closer, smiling.  "Thank you for coming down, Agent Fornell.  Can I get you lunch?"

"I wouldn't mind a nice salad," he agreed. The waiter materialized, poured water, and gave him a look.  "That salad with the orange pieces please."  He disappeared.  "Okay, you called," he offered once they were alone.

"Some of the society twats have been bothering Xander so I did some research.  I have one making illegal trips to Cuba to buy cigars.  I wouldn't care if she were bringing refugees but she's doing it for cigars."

"Any drugs?"  She shook her head.  "Then ATF would probably handle that.  What else did you dig up once Caine ordered you to stop?" he asked tolerantly.

"One giving the CIA false information.  One's dating an assassin.  She may not know that but she is.  Two do enough coke to keep a whole village at work by themselves.  The other seems clean but something's off with her.  Since Horatio and Ryan both told me to let Xander handle it, I thought you might be able to use it instead."  She dimpled at him, making him smirk.  "All right, NO ONE hurts my Xander-buddy or else I go from witch to bitch in nanoseconds flat.  They tried to get Horatio fired and everything.  I also told his sponsor that he wasn't behind any downfalls they might have.  I was.  She thought I was nice and cuddly too."

Speed sat down next to her.  "This could make things really difficult for him, Willow," he cautioned.

"I told Melody I was behind it.  I also told her Xander was my first son and I'm the definition of overprotective mother about him.  She laughed.  Oh well.  Am I getting your lunch too, Timmy?"

"I already ate.  Horatio told you to let them handle it."

"I will.  Any of them left he can have."

Fornell chuckled.  "What she found were federal crimes, Detective Speedle."

Speed looked at him.  "Aiden and I took over parenting her and Xander in Sunnydale.  I'm supposed to worry if she gets him shunned.  Or ruins her husband's career."  He gave her a pointed look. "Isn't he getting sworn in about two months from now?"

Willow huffed but pulled out her phone, calling Xander.  "Put Melody on."  She waited.  "Melody, Willow Wolfe.  While I was helping Xander extract his vengeance I came across evidence of some fed-level crimes.  My husband's a cop and will soon be a judge.  I'm sorry but I can't not turn them in.  Xander had no idea.  I'm meeting with a fed I do some computer consulting work for.  Don't let him be blamed, okay?" she finished in a cheerful tone.  She hung up.  "Done," she told Speed.  "Go tell the bigger nag."  Speed groaned but left them alone so he could warn Horatio and Ryan.

"Cute," Fornell offered. "Let's see the proof."  He moved so the waiter could put down his plate, nodding his thanks.  She handed over the individual folders, letting him read through them while they ate.  "Very thorough, Willow.  Good work.  I agree, there is something odd about that one girl.  The others....." he trailed off with a cruel smile.  "Probably think they're above the law."

"Pity," she agreed.  She ate one last bite then wiped her mouth off.  She smiled, saluting him with her glass of water.  "People who hurt Xander get the short end of the stick up their hiney.  Only I get to upset him that way."  He laughed at that.  "I don't do it on purpose but only I get to."

He nodded. "He's lucky to have a friend like you at his back, Willow.  I can even ignore you hacking into my email."

"I've got to stay in practice," she offered with a sweet grin.

"Quit doing things you can get caught for," he ordered tolerantly.

"Has Gibbs looked those over?"

"Yup.  They caused his geek to get very drunk."  She beamed proudly.  "Have any more?"

"Not that I'm willing to turn over.  Oh, and I let you catch that persona so you know when it's me."  She put down money before leaving.

Fornell smirked.  "Check," he called.  The waiter brought I over.  He covered the extra dollar and tip.  It was the least he could do since she had given him things to torment a lot of people above him when they got calls about freeing their children.

***

Horatio looked up as Fornell and two flunkies came up to his door.  "I heard she hadn't given up."

"If she wasn't married, I might make her my third wife," he joked, smirking evilly.  "We're having to redecorate our interrogation room due to a suicide.  I'm borrowing yours.  Do you want to watch the fun?"

Horatio moaned.  "This will cause hell with the foundation," he complained.

"She called someone to own up to it; said your boy wasn't involved.  He has deniability.  Coming?"   Horatio nodded, following him to where seven young women were waiting in an interrogation room.  The other was by herself.  "There's something odd about her.  I'm doing her separately."  He walked into the room, leaving his guards at the door.  "I am Deputy Director Fornell of the FBI, ladies.  We are here because someone called us about your bad habits."

"That *gayboy* narked, didn't he?" one sneered.

Fornell shook his head.  "No, someone who was trying to protect him did.  Nearly one of his stalkers but not quite that psychotic."  They gaped.  "The fact is Mr. Harris draws a great many people who want to cuddle, protect, or own him.  I know a few agents in multiple agencies that want him.  One of his...fanclub did some research on you ladies.  They called me to have lunch and handed over the files on the table.  One of you has already been taken by ATF for many trips for cigars.  One of you is suspected of helping her assassin boyfriend.  Two of you are so far up your dealer's asses that the DEA is *begging* for you.  The rest have various minor penalties on your heads."  One girl started to cry.  "Good instincts, girl.  I am *all* that is standing between you and some really horrible prison attire.  There's no such thing as designer prison jump suits," he sneered. "Or prison spa time."

Another started to cry.  "If we tell you, do we have to do time?  I couldn't handle prison."

He shrugged. "That depends on your charges and what we can work out, young lady."

One shook her head slowly. "Am I dating an assassin?"

"No, you're here because you carry illegal things into the country and across state lines."  She turned her head to get sick.  He looked at the girl second on the left, who was still looking shocked.  "You're dating the assassin."

"Benjamin?"  He handed over the file and she got sick too.  "Oh god, oh god, oh god oh god oh god," she muttered over and over.  She started to rock in her seat, crying as she read it.

Horatio walked in, taking her to a separate room. "May I?"  She stared at him.  "If you didn't know, didn't help him, and cooperate, they can't hurt you," he offered.  "I'll help you if you didn't know."

"I didn't!  I swear I didn't!" she said, heading toward hysterics.  "I didn't know anything, Horatio!  I promise I didn't and I'm *SO* sorry I was helping them pick on your husband."

He nodded. "I'll tell him, Hillary.  For now, let's see what you can tell us.  All right?"  She nodded, calming back down again.  He brought out some paper and a pen.  "Let's start with the name he's using with you."

***

Xander bounced up as his husband walked in. "What did she do?" he demanded.  "Melody said she got someone in trouble and some suits came to raid the charity luncheon we were at for the pound."

"She found evidence of drug smuggling and one young woman who needed our help."  He took a kiss.  "She did what she was supposed to by turning them in, Xander."  He grimaced.  "Have you seen any overt drugs?"

"Not like I hang out with the nightlife crowd," he pointed out.  He followed him into the bedroom, helping him change.  "They're going to think I put her up to it."

"Fornell told them she was one of your usual fanclub of stalkers and near-stalkers."  He took a second kiss.  "It'll be fine.  They know you're married to an officer of the law."

"Un-huh.  Which is why I get glared at whenever someone gets arrested in the group."  Horatio frowned at that.  "They do."

"The more I hear, the less I like you being around them, Xander."  He pulled him closer.  "Too many of them only like you because you have money now."

"I can start to cut back to the charity and a few notable things starting next month.  I already planned to cut back so I'd have more time to spend with baby Horatio," he promised with a grin.  "Plus classes."

Horatio cuddled him.  "I like that idea.  I know you're enjoying the positive attention but a number of them are spoiled brats.  I don't want to have to deprogram you from their cult."  Xander chuckled.  "You'll cut it back to charity events and the occasional polo match?"  He nodded, making Horatio relax.  "Thank you, Xander.  I don't mind everything.  Events like the meet with Rebecca are fine.  I also know that there's some things you *have* to go to because you can't snub the one throwing the event.  I'll try to be at those with you so they can't try their crap again."

"She's avoiding me now," he noted philosophically.  He smiled. "I'm doing the All-City meet next week."

"I thought Eric said you two couldn't because you had to win or place high enough at one of the three earlier ones," he said, pulling Xander onto the bed to sit beside him.

"You do.  I won one, got third in another."  Horatio stared at him, making him fidget.  "What?"

"I expected to still come to your matches," he complained.

"You were busy.  I'm telling you because I want you at this one.  It'll mean taking a few hours off since it's on a Saturday afternoon and you don't have that one off, but I thought I might be able to bribe you," he offered, playing with his mate's hand.

Horatio pulled his hand away, making the pouting man look at him.  "Xander, I *want* to come to *all* of your matches," he said firmly.  "That's one of the things a husband is good for.  We do more than change lightbulbs and get you juice."

"You were working.  The victims needed you more," he assured him quietly.  "I'm telling you now because this is an important one.  I don't need a cheering section at the more minor ones.  The important ones I want people there.  I even made invitations so you can tell the others and brag."  He kissed him then stood up.  "The job has to come first, Horatio.  I know that.  I'm not disappointed.  I will be if you can't make this match since it's an important one. I need it to get to the state meet."

Horatio swallowed. "If at all possible," he promised.  Xander smiled and it warmed his insides.  "We didn't celebrate your win?"

Xander shrugged.  "We had the good chinese that night."  He grinned again.  "Think Di, Taylor, and Eric would come watch?  I know she's mad that I kept the baby so long last time."

"I'll call her tomorrow."  He pulled Xander back into his lap.  "Does bigger Eric know?"  Xander shrugged.  "You didn't brag?"

"I didn't break a record.  Besides I thought it might be mean since work kept him from going."

"He might be a little jealous, but I'll try to get him and Speed off that afternoon."  He took another kiss.  "You didn't tell me, for that I should be upset."  He took another one, getting a smile back.  "You know I'll always try to be there, right?"  Xander nodded.  "You didn't even leave a clipping around.   Did Ray go?"

"To the one I got third in.  I have no idea why your brother was there."  He looked startled. "He disappeared before I could ask him and I haven't seen him since."

"Maybe we should have a family dinner."

"I don't want to make Eric feel bad," he protested.

"I'm sure he won't be.  It'll make him want to train harder for next year."  He pulled the phone over to call everyone.  "Eric, Horatio.  Want to come over for dinner tonight?  No, Xander was keeping an achievement from us all."  He grimaced.  "That's fine.  I'll tell you tomorrow.  Have fun and be safe."  He hung up.  "He and Speed are already in the club."

Xander shrugged.  "That's usually how it happens.  You want to brag and they're busy.  We can have dinner after the match.  I'll have some really powerful competition so I'll probably need it."  He snuck a kiss.  "Should I warm up the frozen lasagna?"

"That's fine," he agreed, watching his mate head off like this was nothing to him.  He knew better since he told him about *this* one.  He went into the office to look up anything in the papers about the other meets.  Plus to call his brother so he could throw a fit about not being told about this.

***

Horatio walked into his office the next morning, scowling.  Eric took one look at him and followed up to his office.  "What?"

"Xander is selfish."  He took off his jacket and put it on the back of his desk chair, turning to look at him.  "He didn't want you to get upset so he didn't tell any of us he's been in two competitions you couldn't make due to work."  He handed over the invitation.  "Manipulate yours and Speed's schedules so you can watch him."

Eric opened it, staring.  "He competed without us knowing?" he demanded.  "I'm coaching him!"

"He thought you'd get upset, Eric.  You couldn't make those events."

"Still!"

Speed leaned in.  "Is this why Xander called to warn me about yelling?"  Eric glared, handing over the invitation.  Speed nodded once.  "Did we protest not knowing?" he asked Horatio.

That got a nod.  "I did.  He said we were busy and he didn't want Eric to feel bad.  He said they were minor matches but he wanted us at this more important one."

"If he can get one of the five spots from State, he can go to the Nationals," Eric said more quietly.  "Last time I timed him he was the bottom of the upper pack for speed.  A decent diver but not Nationals' quality."  He glared at Horatio.  "I'm taking the day off."  Horatio pulled out the articles he had printed off, letting him snatch them.

Speed looked.  "Wasn't that your old time when you went to State?"

"Yeah," he agreed.  "I'll be back tomorrow, guys."  He walked off, well stomped off but he would never admit to throwing fits.  He drove out to the house, finding Xander getting ready for his run.  "Grab your gear and let's go," he ordered.  Xander blinked at him.  "If I'm coaching you, I should have been there.  Now, let's go!"  The dog growled but a glare ended that.  "Xander."

"I didn't want to upset you because you were working," he said weakly.

"You also didn't mention it since then either.  I want your swim journal and we're going to make sure you're ready for All-City."   Xander sighed but went to gather that for him, letting him read his journal on the way to the pool they used.  "Your first was All Around?"  Xander nodded silently.  He hit him with the book.  "I don't care if you thought I'd turn into a frog from the jealousy, that's something you brag about!  The same as the third in All Around was since it was in your weaker area!"  Xander flinched.  "How could you not tell us!  We're *family*, Xander!"

"You guys were really busy and I thought it'd make feel bad, Eric."

"You're my student!  Not only do I *need* to know this, we all *want* to know this!"  He hit him with the journal again.  "You celebrate any medal performance and let me tell you how to improve."

"Yes, Eric," he agreed quietly.

Eric snorted, glaring at him.  "I want to see what you can really do, Xander.  Nothing cute.  Nothing funny.  I want a State or National level performance."  Xander nodded, parking so they could head inside. "Yes, before you say it, you *are* going to Nationals."  Xander glanced at him.  "Suck it up."  Xander swallowed but nodded.  He signed them in, leading the way to the dressing room.  They got changed in silence, Xander going out to warm up while Eric got his stopwatch out of his locker.  He calmed himself until he was Xander's coach, not a jealous rival.  Then he went out there. "Warm up."  He sat on the edge of the pool, watching him.

***

Eric found Ray Caine later that afternoon.  He made the man look at him by forcing his head up and around.  "We don't let Xander compete without us being there for a reason, Ray.  It's because he discounts himself.  Next time, you call us!"  He stomped off, heading to tell Horatio how it had went.

Ray shook his head. "The boy has some strong protectors," he muttered, going back to his beer.

***

Eric found Horatio in his office.  "I'm a really good coach or your boy has talent," he announced as he put the journal down on the desk.  Horatio flipped to the last page to read, then looked at him.  "He has it if he wants to devote the energy to it.  He may make the platform if he can shave off another few tenths of a second.  We need to be there for All- City.  He'll need the encouragement to win."

Horatio smiled.  "If at all possible.  The whole family will be there," he assured him.  "Di's going to be in New York with the baby and Taylor but the rest of us will be there."

"Good.  I'm going to pout now.  We need to do some extra diving practices soon too."  He walked off to sulk while he worked.

Calleigh hugged him on his way past.  "You're not too old to go back," she offered quietly.  "Train with him for next year.  Even though it would be a World Games year."  She left him alone to think.

Eric grimaced. "I'd need to train a hell of a lot to make it that far up."

"Both of you would," Ryan said from the doorway.  "How was he?  Willow said he wanted us at Nationals if he went but before then he said he'd feel dumb in front of her because she picked on him about his speedo in high school."

Eric snorted.  "That doesn't surprise me.  He'll win if he gives it his best, plus a few new dives.  I'm behind on teaching him.  He's been doing some off some event tapes."  He grimaced.  "I'm surprised he hasn't sprained his back yet."

"Not that anyone would know if he did," Ryan reminded him.

"True.  Xander doesn't even tell H when he's hurt.  He swam with stitches in the past."

"Tape it for the rest of us, that way Willow can see too."  He grinned as he walked off.

Eric grinned, going back to work.  Xander had some heavy support in the department and he would too if he went back.

***

Xander looked at the crowd, stretching before the event started.  No one was there yet.  He called. "Horatio?"  The answer of 'the prosecutor is an idiot' didn't cheer him up but the 'I'll be there as soon as I can' did.  The 'win for me' made him grin.  "I'll try.  Dad and Eric?"  'Brousard' was that answer.  He hummed. "Okay.  Get here as soon as you can.  Be safe and slay him verbally for this."  He hung up, going back to his warmup.  He looked around, waving at his former coaches, getting nods back.  Xander dropped himself into the proper mindset - nearly the one he had when he hunted but not quite.  He stepped up for his first race, doing a last few stretches before getting into position on the block.  A judge came over to check one guy's number, switching him and another person.  Apparently he was in the next heat.

"100 meter butterfly!" the announcer called.

Xander nodded to himself.  Good to know.  The pistol went off and he leapt in.

***

Eric and Speed walked in, heading to the stands.  They found spots but Eric moved them down near the coaches.  "Hey," he said quietly.

"When is Harris coming back?" the dive coach asked.

"He's only doing six hours next semester," Speed offered quietly. "Their second child is due in late April."

The coaches grunted at that.  The swim coach looked at Eric.  "You did good with him, Delko.  He won his first two-out-of-three.  Placed second in that one to one of our boys."

"He didn't tell us he had competed in the other two," Speed complained.

"His husband?" the dive coach asked.

"Court," Eric complained.  "He'll be here as soon as he's done."  He looked around.  "There's Ray Jr. and his dad."

"Sr's got a rehab buddy in one of the distance events," Speed offered.  "I asked."

"If it helps him I'm all for supporting that," Eric agreed.  He cheered at Xander's newest time.  "Second's not bad for his weaker stroke."

"Good time," both coaches grunted.

"Other guy yours?" Speed asked.

"Third place.  The guy in first only does that race every year," the dive coach offered, glancing at him. "Did Harris gain weight?"

"Muscle," Eric told him.  "He's up to five miles twice a week."

"It'll show in the distance events," the swim coach assured them.  "Our boy is lazy."

"He's disappointed.  His mom's not here," Eric said.  "Why not?"

"Plane issues," he complained.  They stared down their student.  "You can do better."  He nodded and got back into it.

***

Horatio sat down next to Eric just before the diving started.  "I hate the DA.  Perthenes took a deal for ten years."

"For intentionally running over his daughter when he found out she was pregnant?" Speed demanded.  Horatio nodded.  "Talk about lenient justice."

"I said the same thing," he noted.  "How was he?"

"Four firsts, two seconds," Eric offered. "One withdraw.  He cramped during his last distance event.  His bicep again, H."

"I'll work on it for him tonight."  He caught his mate's eyes, smiling at him.  Xander grinned and waved, going back to his new stretching.  They watched as his first dive was called.  He did a fairly conservative and low scored dive.  He got all the possible points but it was still conservative.  "Testing the judges?"

"Giving himself a rest," Eric said.  "He finished his last distance event ten minutes ago."

"Boy's got stamina," the dive coach offered.  "His others higher?"  Eric grunted.  "Delko?"

"Depends on which one they accepted.  If they took his alternates, only a little bit."  They watched the others then Xander came back.  His dive was announced.  Xander shot him a grin before getting into positions.  Three twists, one and a half rolls into a good position.  "A bit off perfectly straight but not bad."  The dive coach gave him a look.  "He belly flopped the first time he tried it.  I only taught it to him last week."

"Screw the foundation, we need him back."

"It's one of the things that drives him," Horatio said quietly.  He cheered for the high scores.

"We'll be going over that one and his last one before State," Eric told him.  Both coaches gave him a look.  He only grinned.  "I got him perfect on the next one."  Eric watched the leader dive.  "Xander will take second," he announced.  "That guy's willing to kill for it."  Both coaches nodded.  The third dive went okay, what they had expected.  The last one the other guy was stiff and went conservative.  Xander pulled out something flashy.  He pulled it off nearly perfectly.  That tied him and the other guy, getting a cheer from their section.  The judges conferred and decided to do a tie breaker.  The other guy did something of medium difficulty.  Xander looked at them, getting a sign from Eric.  He nodded and told the judges.  It was one of his first ones.  Same difficulty but worth slightly more points.  He took his position and dove, making Eric smile.

"Eric?" Horatio asked when Xander got a lower score by a tenth of a point.

"You'd be cleaning up his body if he lost to a duffer," the dive coach said. "Xander qualified for diving and his main events.  It's enough for him."

Horatio nodded, he could understand that.  The standings and All Around were announced, Xander getting third there.  He walked down there, taking his rightful hug.  "I'm proud, Xander," he whispered.  Xander beamed at him.  "What did you want to celebrate with?"

"To send Don a copy of the tape and a family dinner?"   Ray Jr. squealed and pounced.  "Thanks."  He shook hands with his rival.  "Good job, man. I look forward to State."

"I do too.  Nice fourth dive," he said with a deep voice touched with a hint of Eastern European accent.  "Are you on your college team?"

"I was until life made me drop out for a few semesters.  I've got one of the team's former members coaching me in our spare time."

"Spare time?" Eric snorted as he joined them.  "Not until after State, Xander."  He shook the guy's hand.  "Good job.  I look forward to seeing you dive at State."  That got a gracious nod and the boy walked off to find his supporters.  "Great job, Xander. Only a few things to work on."  Xander beamed, hugging him.  "Let me get the coach's copy so we can go over it Tuesday."  He walked off to find the person over that.  He'd sneak it into the AV lab to duplicate for them so Ryan could bribe his own copy off the tech.  "Horatio, should I pick up something for dinner?" he called as he walked off.

Horatio smiled at his boy.  "Pick up some steaks.  I'll take him home once I pull him off Speed."

Speed gave him one last squeeze.  "I'm proud, but I'm still going to kick your ass for not telling us about the other ones," he whispered, earning a grin and a nod.  "Let H do your arms."  He went to follow his ride.

"They said you cramped.  Let's head home to do that."  Xander accepted his criticism and praise from his former coaches then they were off for home and a well-deserved cuddle.

***

Don's lieutenant came to her doorway when he walked in.  "Why is your nephew sending you things here?" she demanded.

"Because I seem to be here eighteen hours a day for some reason so I never get anything at home for weeks."  She grimaced, tossing over a padded envelope.  "What's this?"

"A CD or DVD and some paper."  She went back to her desk.

Don loaded the disc into his computer, clicking on the icon to run it.  He smiled at the races that had been edited for them to see, calling Danny.  "Miami sent up film of Xander's last event.  DVD. Sure."  He hung up, taking it with him over there so they could watch it together.  The note was an invitation to the state event.  Danny made some microwave popcorn out of the snack machine and they all settled into the AV lab to watch it together.  Mac came in scowling so Don handed over the bag of popcorn.  "Xander's last match."

Mac sat down to watch it with them.  They could do this while waiting for things to run this one time.  This was an important event that they all wanted to see.

***

Xander gave a gentle smile as he was pounced at his next charity luncheon on Monday.  "Thank you."  He grinned at the others who would be sitting with them.  "The best thing was that Dad, Eric, and Horatio got to be there for most of it."  He smiled as Rebecca came over.  "I her congratulations are in order for your son's silver finish."

"Thank you, Xander."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "He said the swim coaches were talking to one of the gymnastics coaches about you?"

"I went to one of them to get some advice on tumbling."

"Why?" one of the tolerant husbands around them asked.

"Because I needed it for my diving," he said simply.  He knew they didn't care but he smiled at Rebecca, she'd understand.  "I took third All Around at the All-City meet," he said proudly.  "Dad, Eric, and Horatio all made it to watch me dive."

She sat down in an empty chair.  "You're still swimming?  I thought you were talking about the past tense."

"And dive," he agreed modestly.  "I did my first semester on the college's team before the Foundation got handed to me."  He burped.  "'Scuse me, burritos from Taco Bell for breakfast; I slept in."

"You never said you compete, Xander," Rebecca chided.  "Does third let you into State?"

He nodded.  "I finished high in all but the race I cramped and second in diving.  That'll be a long weekend," he sighed.  "I hope Brousard will give them the time off."  He looked at her.  "He had Eric, Marisol's brother and my coach, and dad finding who broke into his office instead of being there from the start.  Horatio was in court."

"When is State?" Melody asked as she joined the group.  He handed over an invitation.  "Thank you, dear.  I'll try to be there and let the others know."  She looked at the date.  "Hmm.  Bess is going to be disappointed in both of us."

"Her husband ran marathons, she'll understand," Rebecca offered, craning her neck to look at the date.  "When do the college's go?"

"Then," he admitted. "I've got to shave a few more seconds off my time to compete heavily with them."

"I thought you only watched polo," another husband said.  Xander shook his head.  "Any other sports?"

"I run five miles twice a week.  Sometimes three times if Horatio can't go on our normal day.  I keep up with my sword practice."

"You fence?" Melody asked.

He patted her hand.  "No, dear, I use the big, heavy swords.  I can kick any other knight's ass too."  She giggled at that.  "I can."  He smiled at Ethan as he came over.  "Hey, Ethan.  Issuage?"

"One.  The new girl is *how* old?"

"Eleven.  They gave her to Joyce since something seems to have happened to her guardian and Watcher."

Ethan looked at him, seeing the anger in the dark e yes.  "You'll help?"  Xander nodded.  "You're sure?"

"Definite.  As long as you become an excellent parent, man.  Ripper would too."

"Thank you."  He nodded before walking off.

Xander looked at the curious faces.  "That group in England who has it out for me has a new reason for me to kick their butts.  She's eleven and very sweet.  They're using her as a pawn.  Ethan wants to rescue her."

"I heard you have contacts within the FBI," Rebecca noted dryly.

"Ryan Wolfe's wife Willow is my best friend.  She consults on computer stuff now and then.  My semi-stalker buddy sent it to her and she called the Deputy Director she works with.  She wanted to eviscerate them, but Horatio told her she couldn't."

"A true friend will help you hide the bodies," Melody quipped.

Xander looked at her then smirked.  "Not if Horatio hears."  They all laughed.  He smiled.  "Excuse me, I've got to beat the new Chief's ear for a few minutes."  He got up and started over to where he was sitting, handing over the paperwork he had inside his inner coat pocket.  "Dad, Eric Delko, and my husband need that weekend off since I made it to State," he said firmly.  "You had better hope and *pray* that I never hear that you kept my coach and my father from coming sooner to my last match," he said very quietly and very coldly.  "Even I need a cheering section now and then, especially with bigots like you trying to destroy my husband."  He got an evil glare.  Xander leaned down.  "I know worse than you'll ever hope to be," he promised.  "They like me.  Horatio kept me from becoming one of them.  Consider that the next time you attack my family or the lab."  He went back to his seat, all smiles and grins again.

***

Horatio answered the summons to the Chief's office with grim humor.  "Xander finally say something about you pulling Eric and Speed in to work your office on their requested time off or about you asking the judge to do the sentencing on a Saturday?" he asked in greeting.

The chief glared at him.  "You're treading on thin ice with me already, Caine."

Horatio tossed over a letter.  "That's from three different groups saying they'd support us if we sued the department, sir.  You know my husband needs positive encouragement.  You read people more than well enough to realize what his past was life.  I don't appreciate you trying to destroy his self-esteem or my lab."

"He's a former stripper!"

"Yes, he was.  He had a very bad problem with his education.  That's why he went there instead of a better job."

"He told me he was mentally unhinged and dangerous."

Horatio smirked coldly.  "What he told you was that he had nearly become as evil as anything he ever fought as a teenager.  It was Speed who kept that from happening.  Maybe you should use some of your less than desirable contacts to do some research, Chief.  You might learn something about my husband.  It only took Ethan Rayne two days once he got here."   The Chief flinched at that name.  "I'm proud of what Xander's become since he left Sunnydale.  Even if no one else is.  Is there anything else, sir?"

"Go!" he ordered.  Horatio nodded and left.  He paused before calling Ethan.  "You obviously know the boy, Ethan.  Why didn't you warn me?"  Pause.  "I was your student, Ethan.  He's threatened to destroy me."  He sat back, listening to his teacher tell him exactly who he had butted heads with.  It was very not good for his career.  He hung up, considering everything.  "The White Knight and the White Witch are here.  Married into my lab.  No wonder the portents said dread and caution if I took the job.  I wonder how he knew about me...  He can probably sense me," he decided.  He took the lab off his mental list of support.  He had heard the rumors about what happened to those who touched what Caine felt was sacred.  He didn't want the boy bringing the Wrath of Caine down on his head.  Especially if the boy backed him up.  There was no telling how they could screw up his plans for the city.

He'd have to put up with the gay couple and the few irregularities, like weekends off for matches, to keep Caine out of his hair and the pair of do gooders out of his business.  He called his wife.  "Harris and the Wolfes are untouchable," he said in greeting.  "Harris is the White Knight of Sunnydale.  Mrs. Wolfe is the White Witch."  He winced at the sound of a breaking glass.  "Caine hinted that he knew I practiced and she'll definitely be able to tell.  So therefore they're untouchable and we'll play nice with them.  We can't afford to have them bring too much attention to me."  He smiled at her assurance she could play nice.  "Thank you, dear.  I know you can.  I love you.  Oh, Ethan said he'd have us over to dinner soon, dear.  Yes, he knew Harris.  Apparently he had him possessed a few times.  Respects the boy for being so strong and tough.  No, don't suck up yet.  For now, stay neutral about them.

"Yes, the fight between our types of powers is probably why we'll never get along.  Remember, the Wolfes will be joining polite society when he's sworn in as well.  Yes, I'm quite sure.  Ethan said so.  He told me all about them.  So play nice enough but don't suck up.  Thank you, dear.  I'll be home in a bit.  I've got a headache.  Caine always gives me one."  He hung up and closed up the office then went home.  He came back into his office, calling his former supervisor since he was in town.  "Ethan told me who Harris was," he said quietly. The man told him why the others were drawn to Xander and why he was.  "Fine, you were right.  I should've left Caine alone."  He hung up and now he went home.

***

Horatio found Xander in the backyard on the swing.  "What did you say to him?" he asked as he sat next to him.

"The truth.  I nearly became what he feared.  That even I needed support sometimes."  He looked at him.  "I didn't mean to make things worse for you, Horatio."

"You didn't.  I said the same things, Xander."  He cuddled him.  "Do we have any idea what his problem is other than we're together?"

"He's a chaos sorcerer.  Ethan's former student.  Since you're so strong in the Light, it's a natural distaste."  He snuggled in, relaxing when the arms welcomed him.  "That and he's repressing his desires for you.  He probably wants to make you dirty and messy so you join him on his side."

Horatio smirked slightly.  "I wondered why Ethan warned me about him."  Xander grinned at that.  "Did you hand in the leave forms for us?"  Xander nodded.  "Who forged the signatures since Speed and Eric are still out in the Everglades on that case?"

"Marisol."  He looked up. "She goes in for the first ultrasound next week."  That got a smile.  "She said you get to go to that one."

"I will be if I can get away for the two hours."  He kissed him on the hand.  "Never forget that I love you."

"Are they sending you on an undercover where you can't know me?"

Horatio looked at him.  "No, I talked them out of it using Erica Sykes as a reference. How did you hear about that?"

"Gossip when I brought in the new pictures of Eric."  He looked up at him again.  "Frank warned me the bad Feds were in."

Horatio grunted.  "There is too much attention in our lives for that to work.  I suggested they bother a few of Grissom's guys."  He gave him a squeeze.  "Is anyone from New York coming down for State?"

"They don't think they can.  Sheldon's off that weekend so he might but they're in the middle of the trial against that one scumbag who came after Danny."

"Then I'll listen for Danny to suddenly show up."

"Can I splurge and fly them in for Nationals if I make it?"  Horatio nodded. "Thanks."  He got comfortable and smiled into his chest.

"They're friends and family.  I'd expect it.  You don't have to sneak and do it."  Xander grinned at that, he could feel it.  "Weren't we going to talk about some renovations for over here?"  Xander nodded, looking at him again.  "Did we make a decision?"

"Eric's father has the three I liked for you to make a final decision," he offered quietly.  "Whenever you're ready."

He called over there.  "Mrs. Delko, Horatio Caine.  No...  We have Eric?" he asked.

"He's napping," Xander admitted sheepishly.

He kissed him on the head.  "I love how much time we have with him."  He heard the laughter over the phone.  "Your spouse was working on some remodeling plans for us.  Can we steal him for dinner?  I'll cook," he assured her.  "If you insist.  I know we were going to watch Xander practice later.  Of course.  Is he back yet?"  He smiled.  "I was hoping it wouldn't be another night spent there.  Thank you.  Two hours is fine."   He hung up.  "We were invited over for dinner so she could see the son."

Xander nodded.  "That's fine.  I pulled out some stew meat but it's in the fridge.  Eric and I can do stew for tomorrow when Willow brings her horde over."  He snuck a kiss, smiling at the dog as he joined them.  "He did very good today in class.  We also got him his flea and heartworm meds today.  The vet thought he was charming."

"Good."  He heard the growl, looking in the direction the dog was.  "Yes?"

Xander looked over.  "Giles.  Horatio, this is Rupert Giles.  Giles, this is my husband Horatio Caine.  Did Ethan call you?"

"He did."  He looked at the dog.  "I won't hurt your boy," he promised gently.

"Back down, Percival," Xander ordered.  The dog quit growling and the boy grinned a goofy grin again.  "We do very well in obedience class."

"I would assume so," Giles agreed as he moved closer.  "May we speak, Xander?"

"Horatio knows about our past."  Giles looked stunned. "He's my *husband*, Giles.  I told him when he asked.  Then Willow embarrassed me by telling more."

"I...I see."  He looked at Horatio.  "You must be very good to him. I do hope it continues."

"No one is allowed to hurt Xander, not even me," he assured him.  The threat was implied and he knew it was caught.  "Do you need Willow as well?"

"No, Xander can fill her in."  He moved closer, letting the dog sniff him. "He's well trained."

"Thank you," Xander said proudly.  "What's going on?"

"You're aware Ethan wants to take the new girl?"

"Willow and I agree that even Janus would be pissed about her being called at her age."  Eric snuck out and crawled in with them, staring at this new person, who stared back in horrified fascination.  "My son Eric.  My friend Di had him for us."

"He's...."  He swallowed. "He's adorable.  Looks quite like you."

"Thank you.  I knew I was cute."  Giles frowned at him, earning a smirk. "Does Ethan need help kidnaping her?"

"No, Joyce and I agree it's for the best if she's given time to mature naturally.  We'll need you and Willow to make sure she's not warping her."

"I expected to be a favorite uncle and teacher like I am to Willow's kids anyway," he noted patiently.

Eric poked him on the belly.  "Feed puppy and Eric?"

Horatio smiled at him.  "We'll feed Percival in a minute we're going to see the bigger Eric for dinner."

Eric pouted.  Xander gave him a look.  "We're going to see Grandma Delko."  He brightened up at that.  "You can even pet the new baby as long as you're gentle with Auntie Marisol tonight.  Okay?"  He nodded eagerly.  "Good boy , Eric.  Go get me an orange and I'll peel it for you."  His son wiggled down to do that, bringing back some dog food and a plate too.

Horatio laughed but fed the dog a treat.  "I'm sure you earned it playing with the boy."  Percival barked until the plate was put down.  "Good boy, Percival."  He went back to the swing with his family.  "When is she coming in?"

"The sixteenth."

"Back week for us," Xander told him.  "I've got the State meet that weekend, Giles.  Ethan will be on his own that week."

"Willow's not going with us, she can help him," Horatio noted gently.

"True. I forgot I had banned her until Nationals."  He handed over most of the orange, keeping a few pieces to nibble, holding one up to Horatio.  He wouldn't eat it from his fingers this time.  Xander grinned.  "How's Buffy?"

"Doing all right.  Willow made someone come to speak to her about police work and how her skills were suited to it.  She wasn't enthusiastic but it did give her an option to think about."  He cleared his throat.  "Which one of you asked Special Agent DiNozzo to come out?" he asked at the look Xander gave Horatio.

"Willow asked her FBI contact but I've met Tony through a mutual acquaintance," Xander admitted. "He's a nice guy."

"He was," Giles agreed.  "Very happy with his work as well.  I agree, she could easily go toward that sort of career."

"It would use the instincts she already has," Horatio agreed.  "She could use a mentor if she joins a department but that shouldn't be too hard to find."

"I'll tell her you suggested that.  Thank you, Xander.   You will watch Mary for us?"

"No, I'll be a big brother to her to make sure she doesn't fuck up totally but I'm not doing shit for the Council, Giles."

"I understand."  He glanced at the boy then back at him, getting a smirk and a head shake. "I'm sure Travers would find that suitable enough were he still alive."  Horatio stared him down.  Suddenly he saw why those two were together and why his troublesome student was so happy.  "Apparently jail was not good for him.  He chose to die instead of giving up Council secrets."  He nodded at them.  "Would you know where Ethan might be, Xander?"

Xander looked at his watch.  "The yacht club for dinner and poker night."  He summoned over his phone to call him, ignoring the surprised gasp.  "Ethan, Xander.  Giles is here to talk about Mary Eileen.  Send him to your place?  Sure."  He hung up.  "Head to Tentacles.  He'll meet you there."  He wrote down the address for him.  "Tell Toby Horatio said I couldn't have another rocket launcher, okay?"

"I think your five are enough," Horatio said mildly. "It's not like we're having a war, Xander."

"We will if that asshole keeps coming after you and Daddy."

"Point.  I'm sure it wouldn't take that much to get him out of office.  Expose his belief in magic; that should be more than enough."  He kissed him on the temple.  "Quit swearing in front of Eric."

"Di and I already had a talk with him about things he couldn't say.  He knows."

"Thank you, Xander.  Eric, go find your shoes so we can go see bigger Eric."  Their son squealed, bringing his shoes and the leash.  "No, Percival's staying here. She's already got a dog."  Xander got up to get them both ready since he was in a t-shirt and cutoff shorts.  He looked at Giles.  "He is happy," he offered quietly.

"He had better stay that way.  The boy tends to draw some very protective people.  Including Faith and Angel."  He walked off, heading out to his car.  He knew his meaning had been clearly understood.

Horatio smirked.  "I've wanted to talk to Angel for a while now."

***

Bigger Eric opened the door, giving the running toddler a tolerant look when he didn't even get a grunt.  Marisol got a head in her lap, making his mother laugh.  "I see someone told you about the baby."  He grinned at Xander.  "You can come in too."

"Horatio said I can't carry in the present or the cake," he pouted, hugging him.  "Your dad back yet?"  He walked in to pull his son off and put him in front of the dog.  Eric shrugged and hugged him too before going back to Marisol.  Bigger Eric laughed at that.  "You know he loves Liz.  Yell when you want to move and I'll grab him again, Marisol."  He kissed their mother on the cheek. "We bought a cake.  Horatio wouldn't let me carry it.  I think he's licking off al the icing."

"I heard his phone go off," Eric offered.  He went out to get the cake.  "Who?"

"Ryan.  Swearing at me for not warning him about Giles being in town.  I called Speed to send as backup."

"Yeah, I got the feeling he told him to get a life at least once," Eric agreed.  They walked inside together, him handing over the cake, Horatio handing over the present.

"Spa time, I love you both," she squealed, hugging them around the baby.  Xander pulled him off again, handing him to Grandma, who took the baby into the kitchen to spoil his dinner with a cookie.

Eric's father came home, shaking their hands.  "Finally not busy for a night?" he teased.

"I am.  It's amazing what the criminals think up to keep us amused these days."

"Come into the office, Horatio.  Xander has good tastes.   He went simple but sinful for the new master bathroom."  He led him back there to show him the three possible designs.

Xander got down to play with the dog.  "I like the second one better but I figure he would want the sunken tub."

Eric shook his head.  "I saw the other one with the lounging seats and things, Xander."

"It feels good after a long run," he said innocently.

"Uh-huh.  Stick to that story," Eric teased.

"Xander, I had no idea you wanted a Roman bathing chamber," Horatio called.

"It'll feel good after a run," Xander called back.

Eric hauled him up and nudged him that way.  "Go defend your choices."  Xander headed that way.  Marisol squeaked as the baby pounced her again.  "Easy on your baby bother or sister in there."  Eric spit at him before going back to humming to the lump of baby again.

Marisol patted him on the back.  "Give the baby another few months then she'll need that, Eric."  He shrugged and went back to it.

"He is his father's son," their mother sighed. "Overprotective and stubborn already."

"Of course he is.  Di's still complaining she'll have to have another one so she can be a full- time mother."

"Xander would steal that one too," Marisol said wisely.  "Even if she moved back to New York like she threatened."

"Then she'd get a lot less visitation with my son," Xander called from the office.  "That's why she's not moving.  He came out of the office.  "Eric, want the purple or the orange walls?"

"Purply," he said with a grin.

Xander beamed.  "Horatio, honey, you're out-voted," he said as he went back there.  "Eric likes the purple sea creatures too."  He closed the door behind himself, cutting off the groan.

The siblings giggled.  Only Xander.

***

Xander looked around the center they were holding the state matches at.  Horatio was off with one of the local CSI since this was a practice time.  Eric was barely awake in the stands with his coffee.  They had let Speed sleep in.  His last case had been brutal; he hadn't slept much since he had been called to the scene. Yet, that highly refined 'oh shit' sense of his was screaming at him.  He was waiting for his turn to do a few laps, the colleges were doing theirs.  He glanced at Eric before casually wandering off.  Eric was asleep so he had a few minutes.  He walked out to the main door, finding someone changing into a guard uniform with other guards standing around him.

"The other guy can't work?  I know he was a big fan of the diving," he said casually. They glared at him.  "Just asking.  He wished me luck and he seemed like a really nice guy."  One groaned and pulled a gun.  Xander shrugged.  "And?  I blew up my high school.  You guys do know that this is a low-costing-ticket event?  That I'm about the only moderately wealthy person here?  That this whole building is full of swimmers and coaches, mostly college kids?"  They groaned as a group this time.  "I tell you what.  I call my husband.  You guys negotiate with him since he's a cop in Miami.  In return, you guys stay the hell away from the athletes.  We don't need this stress.  This is our only chance to make it to Nationals.  Besides, all you'd get is cried and vomited on.   Can we agree to that, gentlemen?"

"We could shoot you," one offered.

Xander snickered.  "Yeah, I've heard that one before."  He moved and got him down, his gun now in Xander's hand.  "You were going to do *what* to me?" he asked with fond tolerance.

"Can your husband actually negotiate?" the apparent leader asked.  You didn't often get faced with reasonable opposition that gave you what you wanted and cut down your risks, plus kept the hostages from being hurt.

"He's a Captain.  Former bomb squad.  Head of his current department.  At the very least you'll get something for me.  I'm worth just under a mil."  A lie but he didn't want them reaching too high.  "What were you guys planning to do?  Hit the Lieutenant Governor when he comes in to sleep through this?"  They nodded.  "You guys know he's under Secret Service guard, right?  That someone told him about a threat?"  They moaned.  "So, do we have a deal to protect the other kids?"

"Fine," the leader agreed.  "That'll mean no extra bodies."

Xander got his phone out and dialed.  "Sweetie, the security guards here want to talk to you about a ransom.  I made a deal that I would call you as long as they left the athletes alone.  I'm handing them my phone so I can go practice."  He tossed it over and tucked the spare gun into his back waistband.  "There you go.  Remember, you come near us, I won't let him have you.  You won't last that long."  He stared down the leader before going back.  He turned the coach he found watching, walking him back.  "I'm married to a Miami cop.  They'll leave us alone as long as my husband negotiates.  Keep the others inside and spread the word to the other coaches."  That got a nod and he walked off to warn the others.  Xander glanced at Eric, who was still asleep.  He stripped down, putting the gun into his bag, then went back to his warm up, taking a free spot and diving in.  These kids deserved better than this today.

"Harris!" someone snapped.

Xander flipped over to backstroke, looking at his former coach.  "No one needs this stress today, coach.  Let Eric nap."  He touched the wall, flipped, and did a normal practice run.  His arm was pulled on when he tapped the wall so he got out.  "This keeps the kids safer and stress tree," he said quietly.  "They don't need this, not today.  Besides, panicking leads to more injuries."  That got a nod.  "Stay in here or close to here.  Watch out for the security guys."  Eric came down and slapped him hard across the head.  "Did Horatio wake you up?"  Eric nodded.  "It's better this way and I took one of their guns when he challenged me. It's in my bag."

"I agree.  It's a good plan but next time wake me up!"  He swatted him again.

"But you were so cute," Xander cooed, then he ran off to dive back in over someone's head since he was at the wall.

Eric moaned.  "It was cute.  You didn't drop your coffee," the coach agreed as he walked off.

Eric went to scout for Horatio, ignoring his blush.  He was surrounded by insane people.

***

Horatio answered his phone.  "Caine."  He listened, then snapped his fingers, taking a pen to write out a note.  "That's a good idea, Xander.  Hand it over, we're ready."  The cops around him were hurrying to tell others and tape the call, plus trace it.  "This is Horatio Caine.  Yes, that one.  Yes, I am a Captain and I can negotiate."  He wrote down the demands.  "I don't have that much on me.  The banks open in an hour.  It generally takes us an hour to get the money together - if the bank is cooperative. Two at the most."  He wrote down the next demand.  "I can have someone call his people.  His people would have to arrange that since I'm not sure he's back in town yet."  He listed the third demand.  "I can understand that one as well.  We'll have to check the local rental agencies for that.  Yes, definitely within two hours after the banks open.  Can you wait that long civilly and keep to the agreement not to hurt the athletes?"  He smirked at the story of Xander already making sure they knew they'd have problems if they tried so it was a last resort. "Keep his phone, I have his number.  Do stick to the agreement you made with him, gentlemen.  My spouse will not hesitate to enjoy hurting you if you ruin his chances today.  Of course.  I'll call with an update an hour after the banks open.  Thank you for being reasonable and calm."  He hung up and looked around at the expectant faces.

"There are people taking the state swimming meet hostage," he announced.  "My husband is there and found them.  In return for cutting through some of the bureaucracy they'll leave the athletes alone.  Xander brokered that before calling."  He sent a text message to Eric.  "I've got an officer already in there.  He's Xander's coach.  I told them I'd call back an hour after the banks open, set it up as we may need an hour on top of that.  Then want the Lieutenant Governor to listen to them about something.  They want 1.2 million dollars.  They want a car and named make, model, and specs."  He handed that over.  "They're the security guards."  Knowing his spouse, he had wandered off while Eric was still half- asleep, found them, made the deal, proved he was scarier by what they said, and then went back to practice after warning one of his former coaches or Eric.  He got a message back.  "My officer spotted five but he can't be certain.  There's ticket takers and administration people there already."

"Do you get a lot of this in Miami?" one female detective asked.

"My husband draws an unreasonable amount of stalkers and serial killers.  He's used to it," he admitted blandly.

"We heard you guys had a stripper like that," she offered while the others got to work calling those who needed updated.

"He gave it up when we started to date," he told her.  "He's swimming today and diving tomorrow."

"What sort of radicals are they?" the local boss asked.

"They didn't say.  They did say the Lieutenant Governor since I'm assuming he was going anyway."

"He does all the necessary sports things," the detective offered.  She texted someone.  "My husband's his assistant.  It's not making a happy grouch today.  He said he'll send over a list of groups who've wanted to talk to him once he tells him. He's still in bed."

"So's my other officer."  He called him.  "Get up.  The guards at the meet are hostage takers.  Eric's there with Xander.  He gave them a deal - they'd leave the athletes and he'd call me.  Do what you can, let me know, Speed.  If possible," he agreed, hanging up.  "He'll try to get Eric and Xander weapons.  Xander's a marksman."  He looked at the local boss.  "I'll keep playing negotiator."

"Good, keep us informed.  Nice lie on the bank."

"That's how long it took us when our son was kidnaped."

"Who took your son?" she asked.

"His mother's nanny.  She hated him and wanted her plus a million to support her in style."

"Think you can pull it up again just in case?"

Horatio called Ryan.  "Mr. Wolfe."  He paused to listen to him complain about the Xander-wannabe.  "Is it possible?"  He nodded slowly at the 'not with how his story changing but we're keeping him here so Frank has some comic relief' report.  "That's fine.  Have your wife get into our safety deposit box.  Yes, again, but they want the Lieutenant Governor.  It's Xander's bad luck he was due in to watch today.  1.2.  Thank you.  Yes, I'll be here."  He hung up.  "I'll know within 20 minutes if we've got to go to a higher source, namely his uncle."

"So, he's from a prominent family?" the boss suggested.  Horatio shook his head. "New money?"

"Xander and Don inherited it from Xander's grandfather, who Xander didn't meet until a year before he died.  Don's with the NYPD."

"They run the Benis Foundation," she said wisely.  Horatio smirked and nodded.  "My boy said yours was very smooth in public for it not being his natural habitat.  Good job training him, Caine."

"He went to one of the local mavens of society and got adopted.  He's cutting back soon so he can start college again.  Six hours at a time."

"At least he's not wasting it all on fancy cars and drugs."

Horatio shook his head.  "He leases but he bought me a personal hummer for our lab."

"He claimed it was a used test model so it was okay," Speed offered as he walked in.  He put the bag on the desk behind Horatio.  "Xander's bag from your hummer's storage area.  Pack anything you need."  Horatio opened it, looking through it.  "No vests?"

"He figures I'd have mine since it's in the trunk," Horatio admitted.  He wrote out a note, sliding it inside.  "Tell him we'll be there as soon as we can. "

"Yup."  He nodded at the others.  Then he left, going back to the local college's pool.  He walked up to the door, ticket in hand.  "My kid's in there.  He forgot his bag."  The guard looked at his badge, which he wasn't going to hide.  Someone stupid could challenge it if he hadn't had it on as an identification.  "Regs say I gotta wear it.  I'm off duty.  Anyone steals the towels, it's yours.  May I?"  The guard glanced at another one but let him pass.  There weren't any metal detectors in this building so he headed back, handing Eric the bag.  "H sends his love."

"He probably wants to kick my ass too.  I was napping when Xander found them."

Speed snorted.  "This is Xander, Eric.  He can't stop him.  I can't stop him from finding trouble.  We know you couldn't."  He sat down and texted the information back.  He chuckled.  "H said you get the next dumpster and he's got to wake Don up.  Willow doesn't have access to Xander's accounts."

"I guess he figured Horatio would be enough in case of emergency.  He sat down again.  "We wait?"

"Yup, until he says so."  They looked at each other.  "One of the bomb squad guys asked me if Xander thought he was Rambo after catching him on the range with Wolfe.  I gave his standard answer of 'no, he speaks better'.  He was not amused," he finished in a flat voice.

Eric snorted.  "I heard Ryan nearly beat him.  Missed by three points.  What was he worrying about?"

"New gun.  Giles sent it.  Xander said it's a piece of crap."

"He's still cleaning yours, right?"

"Yes, Eric."

"Good.  If you get shot again, I'm letting him fuss with Marisol and my mother, plus Willow and little Eric."

Speed glared at him.   "You're mean today.  Do you need to hit the club whores again?"

"I get plenty from my new girlfriend.  It's lack of sleep from worrying about this competition."

Speed nudged him.  "Not even Xander could have read this in one of his fantasy books.  Wolfe's got a wannabe Xander in the office.  He came in claiming he's being stalked.  Wearing clubbing tight jeans and a t-shirt."

"See, there's the problem," Eric quipped.  "They weren't Xander-tight."

Speed snickered.  "Good one.  Ryan said Frank's cracking jokes that're going over the guy's head.  Said he was thinking about calling Ray Jr. in to help him."

"Ray is the prototype Miniature Xander.  He's working out the bugs before he finishes warping the kids."  Speed laughed, punching him on the arm.  "He is.  Ray wears Xander- tight clothes.  He attracts evil women.  He's teaching him self-defense.  The only thing saving him is he can't strip worth a damn, no matter how Xander teaches him.  Little Eric can.  He was following along to what he was showing Ray.  Pissed Diana off to no end when she saw him dancing around his room that night.  She ranted and screamed for over an hour.  Threatened to never let him see him again."

"Is that why she ranted that he had the baby for six days again?"  Eric nodded. "Get her calmed down?"

"Sicced H on her," he offered with a fond grin.  "Xander's not allowed to take him to the gym again."  He smirked.  "He brings Marisol now to hold him and give advice on the routine he's going to give Horatio for his birthday this year."

"H will die a happy man," Speed noted dryly, shaking his head.  "Why don't you go?"

"Because every one of those guys is built better than I am.  Besides, half of the guys hit on me.  There's one guy there Xander says he wishes he was het because of so they'd quit thinking all gay guys were like him."

"Nasty?"

"Imagine the slut Xander is for H, but without him in his life.  Now, make him a sub at a few of the sex clubs."  Speed moaned.  "Yeah, and he wants to be between me and Xander.  Said Ray Jr.'s too forceful for him."

Speed shook his head quickly to clear that image.  "I doubt Ray would mind much."  He checked his watch then Xander.  "Is he playing?"

"Xander!" Eric yelled.  "Quit screwing around!"

"Yes, mom!"

Speed laughed.  "I'd never sleep with you, Eric, no matter how demented my son may end up."

"Gee thanks.  I'll cross you off my wish list," he snarked back.  "Time yet?"

Speed checked his phone.  Nothing yet so he sent a message.  "They've got the money.  Got a good place yet?"  Eric nodded, taking what they'd need from the bag and heading to the spots Eric had picked out.  They were only there in case the idiots headed for the athletes.  They watched the money drop and Horatio handing over the directions for their requested meeting.  The guys headed for the car.  SWAT got them once they were inside.  Clean, no injuries, no noise, and best of all no press.

Horatio walked inside and his guys followed him. He nodded at the coaches, getting a smile, then found Xander and kissed him stupid.  "Win tonight and I'll let you take a third of the ransom to spoil me," he whispered.  Xander shivered but nodded.  "Good boy."   He looked at the coaches coming over. "It's done."

"Thank you."  Horatio nodded and let Xander go so he, Eric, and Speed could take their spots together.

***

Don got the new package Monday afternoon, smiling at the whining in the note.  He looked at the sleeping CSI on his couch and went back to watch the matches in his game room.  He flopped down into his massaging recliner - it had the best view of the tv.  Danny stumbled in after his first moan, glaring.  "The state competition."

"Any good news?"

"Xander consistently got second so he didn't get to spoil Horatio as much as he wanted to.  Points got him fourth in the All Around.  Since he only came in second, Horatio didn't let Xander use the ransom money to spoil him.  Only gave him five grand and let him go."  Danny smirked at that.  "He said he stole half the good chocolates he bought him too."

"I thought Horatio gave Xander a two candy bar limit."

"He did but Xander pouted his way to half the box of dark and light Swiss truffles."  He turned on the DVD, watching their buddy.  The last screen was an invitation to Nationals.

***

Horatio parked his hummer at the Treasure Cove Club, grimacing at the old club his mate used to work at.  He walked up to the guard.  "Xander said to pick him up here?" he asked.

"Yes, Captain.  Go right in, sir.  It's a private birthday party tonight. I was also told to assure you no electronics of any kind other than the ones Darkness set up are in use and to suggest that you pull your hummer out of plain sight, Captain.  He didn't think you'd change cars."

"What is my spouse doing?"

"Not a clue, sir.  I'm to stay out here, even if there's an emergency."

Horatio nodded, going to move his very distinctive hummer out of the main parking lot.  He headed inside, finding a single spotlight on the main stage, a table pulled close that was piled high with presents, and 6 quarters on top of a note to start the jukebox.  He went to put in the money, and sat back, waiting. His mate came out wearing something new.  Something great that moved with his body as he slowly danced for him. This act was like the first one he'd seen him do during the sting, but Xander had let the floodgates loose.  Every move, every look, every touch to his body was meant to inflame him.  Horatio moaned, having to spread his legs to give himself room.  Xander prowled closer, staring him down as he swayed for him, arms over his head.  Then slowly turning, presenting himself for inspection.  Horatio moaned as the song changed into one of his favorites, undoing his belt as his mate undid his pants. He was already hard, more than ready to pounce, but Xander wasn't yet.  Horatio watched him dance back to a small basket he hadn't noticed.

Xander pulled out a small toy, playing with it as he danced.  Horatio nearly snarled but Xander only smirked as he dropped it.  A few more minutes of dancing and Xander pulled out one he always said reminded him of Horatio's own cock.  The pants came off while his mate sucked on it.  Horatio was growling now, his pants fully open so he could work himself over.  Xander slurped as the toy came out of his mouth, running it down his chest.  The vibrator was turned on with a flick of his thumb, earning a moan as it danced over the peaked nipples.  Xander moved closer again, letting it drift down his stomach Horatio held up a hand but Xander winked, heading back to the pole.  Xander bent over and Horatio snapped.  He had a very slim plug in.  He pulled his handcuffs out as he walked up there, trapping his hands on the overhead rail.  Xander grabbed onto the upper end of the pole, still moving as much as he could.  Horatio grabbed his hips, stopping them with a possessive grip that made his mate groan.  The plug was tossed and his mate was claimed.  One hard thrust in, making Xander let out a needy whimper.  He hadn't stretched himself, only pushed the lube up himself with the finger-sized plug.

Horatio growled, showing him mate who he belonged to.  Xander wiggled so Horatio moved him against the pole to trap him.  Once hand went around it to steady himself, the other was on Xander's hip.  "Mine," he whispered.

"All for you," he panted, clenching around him.

Horatio nudged him forward.  "When I'm ready."  He took his time with his pleasure, driving Xander insane.  He knew he had expected a quick and fast ride, but this present was one to savor.  He finally came, earning a begging noise from his trapped prey.  Once he was calm again, he stroked him slowly.  "My birthday present?" he asked in Xander's ear, getting a fast nod.  "I liked the new act."

"I ran it past Ray Jr. and Marisol," he panted.  "I'm completely at your pleasure tonight, Horatio."

Horatio hummed at that, that was a good present.  "Are you taping this?"  Xander nodded.  "Naughty."

"This way you could watch it again if you wanted to."  He swallowed.  "I'm in a ring, Horatio."

"I felt, which makes it even more naughty."  He found his keys so he could unlock Xander and bring him back to the table, sitting him in his lap.  "All yours?"

"Yelina and them's.  Speed and Calleigh's.  Ryan and Willow's."  He took a kiss.  "Can I get your dinner?"  Horatio nodded so he stood up and went into the kitchen, walking carefully, coming back with a tray of finger foods and a good bottle of champagne but only one glass.  He served his mate before settling back into his lap to feed him and sneak bites of the good stuff.

Horatio patted him on the back.  "You can eat."

"I'll have you for dinner later," he promised with a shy grin.  He let him have the glass to take a sip.

Horatio licked his lips.  "I was expecting the dinner, presents, and sex but not like this."

"I can dance for you later too, Horatio."

"We'll see."  He took another kiss before feeding Xander a real bite of food and some of the champagne.  Xander grinned that same shy grin and handed over a present.  He opened it, smiling at the quippy note from Ryan that he'd want spa time after Xander celebrated his birthday.  He chuckled and found a practical gift from Speed and Calleigh.  "Either they think Percy needs dressed up or you do."  He held up the dog collar, getting a blush.  "A leash too.  Speed must think we live a very kinky life."

"They saw the stuff from the anniversary in New York."  He kissed him.  "Maybe they think you should wear it," he teased.  "You'd look very pretty collared and kneeling beside the bed."  Horatio chuckled.  "You would."

Horatio kissed him back into silence.  "It won't happen," he said with a fond smile.

Xander grinned.  "A guy can dream and that one occasionally means messy sheets."  Horatio laughed again, giving him a gentle squeeze.  "Want Yelina and both Rays'?"

"That would be nice."  Xander handed it over then fed him another bite of lobster in fluffy pastry.  Horatio unwrapped it, looking at the paddle on top with Yelina's note saying he'd need it to correct Xander after tonight.  Underneath was a joint present of two books he'd been wanting.  Xander took the paddle and put it up on the stage.  "She knew you were going to do this?"

"Ray Jr. and Marisol knew I was going to give you a new routine.  No one knew I'd be renting out the club or feeding you dinner here."  He settled back into his lap.  "Want more food or another present?"

Horatio took a kiss. "We could take it home."

"We could but I want to show you the other one I worked out."  Horatio nodded.  Xander strolled off to the dressing room.  "Stick a dollar in, push Xander's playlist 2, please?"

"Only a dollar?" he teased.  "Why am I paying on my birthday?"

"I gassed up the hummer earlier."

Fair enough, that would save him nearly sixty dollars.  Xander came out at the first song, changing it.  "I tried."  Xander just grinned as he turned with a flourish.  Horatio stared.  Damn his boy was hot!  He was dancing with the pole again, then looking back at him.  He walked closer, watching Xander strip for the pole but still grinning back at him every few moves.  Xander was inviting him to join him.  The next song was more their usual clubbing music.  He got up there with him, he loved to watch Xander tease others in the club.  It gave him a primal thrill to know Xander would never stray.  They danced together, Horatio taking his rightful spot back inside him as they moved.  Xander moaned, arching back into his hands.  "Home, Xander," he whispered.

"I can't make it that long."

"You can.  You can wait until I get you into the tub at the other house."

"Ours might be in.  Please, Horatio?" he panted.

"Home, Xander.  So you don't have to clean too.  I can open the rest of my presents in our bed."  Xander whimpered.  Horatio pulled out, making himself calm down again.  "Come on, I'll make it sweet once we're home."  Xander swallowed but nodded.  He grabbed the tape and the picnic basket. Horatio walked him past the guard once everything was together inside the large basket.  "Thank you."

"Anything for Darkness, Captain."  He went to clean and close up, finding everything already done.  He locked up and called the boss.  "He cleaned up, boss.  Yeah, Darkness looked desperate for his next infusion of his boy.  His boy wasn't too sane looking either.  Yeah, all clean.  Yes, sir."  He hung up and headed for home. Easiest grand he had ever made.

Horatio kissed Xander as he got the door open, walking him back to their bedroom.  The door slammed and Xander groaned Horatio's name.  Then he giggled.

"I'll be good.  Besides, tonight is about you," Xander said through the door.

Willow backed away from the door, looking at Di.  "Guess the party's tomorrow after all."  Di giggled.

Horatio opened the door, his shirt unbuttoned, his belt hanging loose, his pants barely holding on thanks to the zipper still being up.  He glared at them.  "Eric and Toddy got together to set our kitchen on fire," Di explained.  "Can we have the spare room?"

"Use the other house."  Then he slammed the door and they could hear the lock engage.

"Sure," Di agreed, gathering her purse.  Taylor had Eric over there already.  She had been right; those two needed privacy tonight.  With the noises Xander was making, both women walked out wearing blushes.

Xander knelt in front of his husband.  "What can I do to pleasure you, Horatio?" he asked, staring up at him.  He knew what he wanted to do, he wanted to lean closer and sniff, then inhale his cock like the best drug in the world.  Then he wanted to leave him barely on the edge of coming before going onto his knees for a righteous bout of being driven into the mattress by the same cock.  Preferably without having to add more lube.

Horatio looked down at him, undoing his zipper so his pants could fall to the floor.  "First, you cleaned that club so nothing could touch you?"  Xander nodded, giving him an earnest look.  "Everything?"

"I hired two really grumpy cleaning ladies and told them I had to be able to eat off the floor because I was going to be.  They gave it disgusted looks and worked with bleach before coming back with the other, gentler cleaners."  Horatio smirked at that.  "We even cleaned the office for Jack.  We cleaned everything in that club.  I even wiped down the bottles of liquor with rubbing alcohol."

"Good boy."  He ran a hand through his mate's hair.  "Your present was what again?"

"Whatever your pleasure is," he said, licking his lips.  Horatio smirked.  He knew that meant he wasn't going to get relief for a while but he had asked for it.  "How may I serve you, Horatio?"

"Strip for now."  Xander stood up and gave him the rest of the show from earlier.  He had a cd in the small stereo on the dresser already for him.  Horatio watched, gently stroking himself while Xander danced.  He crooked a finger and Xander came closer, letting him feel his property.  He ran a finger up the underside of Xander's cock, making him whimper and his hips thrust violently toward him.  He leaned forward, taking him into his mouth.  He loosened the cock ring a little bit, giving him just enough room to come.  He drank it down then refastened the ring, licking his lips as he looked at his mate.  Xander had finished dancing for him and was bringing over the basket.  He put the glass of champagne on the bedside table within easy reach, then got back to his knees.  "Good boy," Horatio offered, sipping his drink.  Xander's head was tipped up and he let him have some. Xander licked his lips.  "Clean me off with a baby wipe, then get me hard again, Xander."  Xander got to work cleaning him up.  When he was clean, Xander started with the crown and cleaned slowly and delicately using small licks all the way down.  Then back up.  Once he was back at the head he nuzzled his faint beard stubble before placing delicate kisses slowly over ad over again.  He moved up to firmer kisses, then french kisses.

He had his mouth wrapped around the side, his tongue licking and teasing the veining he found. The mouth moved down to do the same to his balls, using the hardness as if it were the other tongue, dueling his tongue with it, placing sucking kisses onto it.  Then the other one.   Horatio tipped his head back, not watching, letting the feelings flow over him.  He felt the gentle scratch of a fingernail against his perineum, shivering at that.  "Go ahead," he offered.  "Do not let me come yet."  Xander slid a finger into him, teasingly thrusting it for now.  He moaned, arching up.  The finger quit teasing and found his prostate.  Xander's mouth refound his cock head and surrounded it, a warm wetness that rolled him back and forth over his tongue and teeth.  Horatio shifted, opening his legs more.  "Xander."

"Whatever you want, Horatio."

"Pull off."  Xander pulled the finger out and licked over him to capture any extra drool, sitting back on his heels to look at him.  He looked perfectly attentive.  "Where did you see tonight going?" he asked, pulling him into his lap to kiss and hold him.

"Wherever you wanted it to go.  I know you won't hurt me and you'll want me to get off eventually.   I trust you."  He snuck a kiss and wiggled off the lap, earning a growl.  Xander knelt beside him again.  "How else can I pleasure you, Horatio?"

Horatio stared at him.  "I should spank you for that move."  Xander blushed and looked down.  "I know, that's your one firm rule.  Can I try it once or twice to make you see it's not the same?"  Xander gave him a hesitant look.   "Some other time then.  Across my lap."  Xander laid across his lap, letting him check his body.  "You've already tightened back up?"  Xander found the lube and handed it to him.  He read it over, it had something to help the muscles relax back into their normal shape faster.  Interesting.  He teased the slightly open hole, earning a groan of pleasure.  Xander laid there and let him tease the tips of two fingers in and out of him, no deeper than an inch, over and over until he was flexing the sphincter muscles with his rhythm.  He smirked and slid them in suddenly, making Xander howl and arch back.  "Thought you might like that."

"Your pleasure, Horatio," Xander whined.  "All yours tonight."

Horatio smiled, stroking his back with his clean hand.  "My pleasure is yours, Xander."  He withdrew the fingers.  "You should be cleaned out again."  Xander shivered.  "Into the bathroom, Xander."  Xander nodded, going to do that for him.  Horatio followed once he was calm enough to move again.  He found most of the bathroom back together, all but the sink's faucet, and the floor covered with a protective mat.  "No tiles yet?"

"Tomorrow.  They said it'd either be today or tomorrow."  He found the gear he had brought back earlier in the day, hooking the bag up to the shower.  It had a spot for this hose to go.  Eric's father had wondered why but Xander gave him a look and said 'gay boy play toys' and that was all he needed to know.  Xander tested the water and looked at the bag, then at Horatio.  "Water?"

"Soap then rinse twice," he ordered, pulling Xander to a towel bar beside the toilet.  He made him grab it then stretched him out and back so he was bent at the waist for his pleasure and inspection. The bag finished filling so he turned off the water, then added the special cleaning solution they used.  He shook the bag, watching the sweaty back.  He put on the nozzle tip, then inserted it.  Xander moaned when he felt the plug at the end of the line sink into him.  Then he moaned for a different reason as the water flowed in.  Horatio stroked his back gently, making sure he was all right.   This was part of his kink and Xander spoiled him horribly by letting hin indulge.  Once the bag was empty, he took all but the plug out, bringing it back to the shower to rinse and then refill for the first rinse cycle.  Xander was still in the same position.  Horatio came back to stand behind him, stroking his back, then around to play with his nipples.  Xander hiccuped and stiffened, making him smile.  "Do you like it better now than you did the first time?"

"I still think it feels odd to be full of water and seeing my belly extended like I'm pregnant."  He looked under his arm back at him, grinning slightly.  "Then again, if I were a girl, I might be."  Horatio chuckled and nodded.  "You are one of the most virile men I know, Horatio.  Plus, I'd be just as addicted to your taste as I am now."

"Hmm, I like it when you sniff and taste me, Xander."  He let one hand continue to play with his left nipple, but his right hand moved down to tease the slight pooch of belly where the water had settled, jiggling it a little bit.  Xander wiggled away from his hand so he pulled him back into position.  "It's not like I'm doing anything but making it mix in a bit better, Xander.  I can't see you like this normally."

"Thank you."

"Welcome."   He kissed the back of his neck.  The hand teasing the nipple moved down to tease the limp cock.  Xander wiggled away again, grimacing.  "Xander."

"Oh, no.  I remember what we went over on Pavlov in Psych class."  He gave him a look.  "I'll do many things for you, Horatio Caine, but learning to get hard from this sensation is not one of them."

Horatio smirked.  "I knew you listened in there."  He led him over to let him relieve the water pressure, looking him over.  He took a kiss.  "Can you do the next two yourself?"  Xander nodded.  "Good boy.  Let me put things that need it into the fridge."  Xander blushed.  "Good boy."  He stroked over his hair and went to do that.  He did smirk to himself because Xander had caught him with what he was trying to do.  By the time he came back he was emptying himself again and Horatio had sated his other appetite.  He never ate enough when Xander was feeding him.  He was more interested in the fingers than the food and that food deserved to be savored.  When Xander got off and climbed into the shower, he looked at the clock.  "That was fast."

"I'm rinsed, it came out clean."

"I'm not saying it didn't," he offered, getting in behind him.  He turned on the water flow.  This one fixed some things he didn't like about the other one, but it had some of the features he adored from their other house.  Including the moveable and adjustable multiple shower heads.  He set one to do his back for him while he cleaned Xander off.  He took a kiss and Xander smirked at him.  "I nibbled.  That is excellent, Xander.  Who was your chef of the night?"

"The guy at the yacht club.  He pouted but he said you deserved a happy birthday."  He wrapped his arms around Horatio's neck, giving him another kiss and a hug.  "What can I do for you now, my mate?  How may I please you?"

Horatio moaned and got back into the spirit of his birthday present.  He checked that Xander's cock ring hadn't come off and it would be fine when he got hard again, then turned him around to go check the clean spots for himself.   He adored tonguing Xander and Xander lewdly bent over for him, bracing against the wall.  Horatio moaned, going in to play with him.  Sure enough, he was clean and the faint smell of soap was what he had expected after two rinses.  Then again....  He pulled down one of the single stream heads and positioned it right where he wanted it, watching as it rinsed his mate for him again and Xander shivered and shook.  "Hmm, so we like it this way," he said, sounding amused.  He teased the little rosebud opening, letting some of the water in instead of making it hit around the edges.  He adjusted the head a bit more and Xander groaned, spreading his legs further apart.  Xander whimpered and his legs started to shake.  Horatio moved the nozzle and stood Xander up so the water could drain.  Xander fell to his knees and his mouth came over to lick him.  "Good boy, Xander.  I do like this present."  Xander moaned as the last of the new water came out.

Horatio got free of the tempting mouth and put him back in position, going back to his fun.  Xander was mewling in pleasure by the time his tongue was satisfied.  He found the oil he kept in here for smutty shower sex back in place and slicked a finger up, lubing the small tunnel gently.  Then himself.  He slid back home, making them both moan.  Xander was tight and Horatio was in full on claiming mode.  He rode him hard, fast, and into the wall.  Xander straightened up and Horatio pressed him against the wall, pulling his arms up to join their fingers and hold them against the wall over their heads.  His hips kept slamming over and over into Xander's body, making him shout until he was hoarse.  Then Horatio let himself come.  He pulled back, panting hard.  Xander collapsed at his feet.  "Xander?"  Xander blinked up at him.  "Couldn't stand?"  Xander shook his head.  "Come up here, Xander."  He sat on one of the benches and pulled Xander into his lap, sliding two fingers into him to go back to driving him insane, teasing him while he kissed him and watched his cock try to get off.  He felt the quakes of orgasms denied and smirked at the animal noises his boy was making.  Xander couldn't form even the word please now. He was desperate.  Horatio was hard again by the time he decided Xander had enough.  He slid his fingers out and turned Xander around to straddle him. "Take it, it's yours," he promised gently, taking one last kiss.

Xander mounted himself on the hard cock and got to work, hard, fast, making himself hurt really but he didn't care!  All he cared about was that he needed it and Horatio needed it and he needed it *really* badly because if Xander couldn't come soon he was going to have a brain explosion.  Horatio looked down, frowning at the sight of blood.  "Xander.  Off."  He pulled him off and put him back against the wall.  One finger was gently inserted but Xander growled and pounced him again, taking what he needed, pinning Horatio to the floor, snarling in his ear as he rode him as hard as he could.  Horatio rolled them so he was on top and slowly brought him back up, then released the cock ring.  He knew he'd never get him to stop so he could check him but this way his boy would be limp and all right.  He even came again, the pressure was just too great and it was warm and hot around him.  Xander collapsed and Horatio had to take a few to catch his breath.  "Xander?"  He got a slight noise.  "Baby, I think we tore you.  Stay still, let me check.  That's what I was trying to do."  Xander shook his head.  "No what?"

"M'fine," he mumbled into the tiles on the shower floor.

"You're not fine.  There's blood.  Let me look, Xander."  He slowly and gently pulled back, seeing more blood.  Sure enough, there was a good tear inside his boy.  "Xander, I'm so sorry."

"My fault. I took you the last time."  He barely lifted his head out of the water.  "Get me rinsed off?"

"Of course."  That handy nozzle was brought down to get him cleaned out.  Horatio checked him once all the oil was out of him, feeling the tear again.  "It's not terribly wide but I don't think you're going to be doing much for the next few days."  He reached up and shut off the water, then made himself stand up.  He grabbed their towels and helped Xander stand, drying them both off.  He kissed him and made him look at him.  "I'm so sorry."

"I'm not.  It was an accident and I took you inside me that hard, Horatio.  It's my fault."

"No it's not. I drove you there," he said, stroking his cheek.  "Come on, let's go to bed, baby."  Xander let Horatio help him out to their bed and into it, then Horatio got him some tylenol and gave him the rest of the champagne.  Once he had those he crawled in behind him, stroking him.  "I'm sorry."

"Apologize again and I'm sleeping on the couch," Xander told him. "I can call my doc in the morning to see if I need anything."

"I'll go in with you.  I can take the morning off."

Xander slowly flipped over and laid in his normal spot, Horatio's left arm and shoulder.  "Shut up, Horatio.  I did it to myself. I didn't care what I did as long as it got you back inside me deeper and harder than the stroke before and I took what I wanted."  He stroked his stomach.  "Now, be a good husband and cuddle."  Horatio smiled and did as ordered.  "You didn't open the other presents."

"I'll do it for breakfast."

"Dad and the rest of the team is coming over for breakfast," he said with a small yawn.

Horatio looked at the clock.  It was only midnight.  He was surprised but he had gotten to the club shortly after seven.  "I thought it was later."  Xander blinked at the clock then snorted and put his head back down, closing his eyes again.  "I can take tomorrow off to go with you."

"You do that and you give the asshole a reason to fire you.  After all, you're not sick."

"I know but I can claim I've got a hangover.  Go to on-call if necessary."  He went back to soothing over his back, smiling when Xander snored into his chest.  He'd have to remember how far he could take him in the future and take more control when he went back into that state.  Because it was too pretty not to do it again but next time he wouldn't let Xander be hurt.  This was the birthday he was going to flash back to as a happy memory.

***

Speed opened the door last and saw the guilty looks.  "Xander kill him in bed last night?"

Xander looked over at him and shook his head.  "No, though he's still wrinkled from our shower."  He shrugged, then winced.  "Before you say a word," he said at the opening mouth, "I used him like the toy he is and I did it to myself."  Horatio blushed at that.  He patted him on the hand.  "You are toy material, dear.  I'm surprised some rich little girl hasn't picked you up before now."

"I'd never put up with a brat like that," he reminded him gently, stroking over his cheek.  "Want a pillow?"  Xander shook his head. "Are you sure?"

"I'm fine. You baby my stupidity very well."  Horatio smiled at that. "Okay, who brought soft stuff?"

"I got pastries," Speed offered, putting down the box to look at his son.  "You okay?"

"Tear."  He shrugged.  "It happens now and then, dad."

"It does," he agreed gently, patting him on the head. "Your appointment is when?"

"Two hours.  Horatio's driving me but then I'm making him go back to work."

"Fat. Chance."  Horatio smiled at him.  "I've already called and put myself on call."

"We expected you to call off for real today because you couldn't work," Ryan said with a smug grin.  "So, how was it?  Willow thought he danced for you."

Horatio blushed and Xander looked at him.  "She'll be really upset if I gave you any more tapes, Ryan, but Horatio often wants me to clean out my porn stash if you want some of that.  Ray Sr. gets baffled when I give him and his son the gay porn."  He grinned sweetly, making Ryan laugh.

"I wasn't even going to ask to correlate your special ones for him with the other stuff we found, Xander."  He looked at him, then at Horatio.  "I'll have to ask the wife if I can clean out his porn stash for him.  She's kind of funny about that.  She found a ten-year-old Playboy magazine and nearly hit the roof but wanted to watch some people who were having it in public."

"We're surprised you haven't decided to bring in a girl toy to give you someone new to fuss over and her a girlfriend for her men-hating days," Xander teased back.

Ryan blushed at that and shook his head.  "I barely survive the one woman.  Two and I'd end up on disability or dead."

Eric stared at him for a moment.  "She can't be that bad, Wolfe."

Ryan snorted. "You don't know my wife! She tried to jump me six times last night while I was trying to make dinner, and then got me once it was in the oven.  Then we ate and did it again, did dishes, played with the babies when they woke, then she wore me out twice more last night.  My wife *IS* the source of viagra."

Speed held up a hand.  "I don't need those details, Ryan.  Please."  He looked at his son.  "You, you will let yourself be spoiled rotten."  He smacked him gently. "Have some pastries while we pick on Horatio for making you walk funny again."

Xander blushed.  "And then some," he said, winking at him.  Horatio smirked at him and took his own pastry, which meant the others could since it was his birthday celebration a day late.

Horatio looked at Ryan.  "I remember your wife and Di being here and saying something about fires in the kitchen?"

"Di has a gas stove and had curtains next to it.  The boys stood there and said 'fire pretty' for about an hour over the open gas flame."  Horatio shuddered.  "She and Willow were in the office.  Taylor was taking a nap.  Taylor thought they had the kids and they thought Taylor had them.  I'm really thankful no one got hurt."  Xander nodded at that.  "They next door?"

"Yeah, we ran them out with the noise," Xander agreed happily.  Until he tried to shift.  Horatio pulled his chair over and him into his lap, making him more comfortable. "Thanks, dear."

"Welcome, Xander."

Speed checked Xander's seat then took it.  "So, what did he get you?"

"I have to open the rest of his. I got through everyone else's but Eric's I think and then he drove me insane so we came home.  I'll write out thank you cards this afternoon."  He looked at Speed. "It was very thoughtful."

Speed smirked. "I know.  Better than Yelina's paddle."

"True," he agreed.  Eric squeaked.  "She did, but the boys gave me two books I've been wanting."

"I don't need to know that," Eric said, bright red.

"No, he'd never spank me," Xander assured him.  "Ray probably told her I was going to dance for him last night."

"Yeah, where were you?" Ryan asked.  "We looked everywhere for you two."

"I rented out the Treasure Cove, which used to be Bravado, my old club was where he first figured out how hot I was," Xander said with a smirk for him.  "No one was there but us.  I hand-fed him a nice dinner and danced for him.  I also had it totally cleaned so well we could've eaten off the floor last night."  Ryan smirked at that.  "Even you would've approved, Ryan.  Plus I used the eucalyptus soap you gave me to get the smell of bleach off me.  It works really well and it's very gentle.  Thank you."

"You're welcome."  He smiled.  "I'm sure the owner will be surprised."

"Probably."  He picked out another pastry and fed Horatio a bite before taking one, smiling at him.  "You really can go to work today."

"No.  You need driven over."  He kissed him gently.  "Be a good boy and I'll reward you with a backrub later," he whispered.  Xander nodded, going back to obedient spouse again.  It was his favorite act out of his husband.

Eric smirked at them.  "Remember, you've still got to practice, Xander.  Nationals are in two months."  Xander moaned.  "So get better fast and remember to note the cream when you go for your drug tests."

"I usually bring the stuff in," Xander said wisely.  "That way I don't have to pronounce it or forget something.  Plus my doc has the official list of what I cannot test positive for in my chart so he can refer back to it."

"Good boy, very smart," Ryan praised with a grin.  "I still like how girls can't be on the pill."

"That's the Olympic standard," Eric sighed.  "They think it'll hype the hormones and make them faster."

"No it doesn't," Ryan assured him.  "Willow's makes her cry."  Xander nodded at that.  "I should make her change, right?"  All the men nodded at that. "Good. She goes in next week.  I'll be calling her doctor before then to lodge a complaint and see if she'll talk her into changing pills.  She's scary."

"Very," Xander agreed, grinning at him.  "But then again so are you."

"Thanks," he said fondly, smirking back.  "You're so sweet."

"Only to Horatio."

Everyone laughed and left it there. Ryan and Xander were horrible when they got into teasing each other.

"So, Eric, still being called pookie?" Speed asked.  Eric groaned and put his head down, shaking it.

"Where is Calleigh?" Ryan asked.

"Being a girl.  She'll come to the party tonight but she had to do, quote, girl things this morning.  I figured she wanted first body today."

"She had to go see the doctor for an hour," Horatio told him.

"Ah, that girl stuff.  I'll bring her chocolate later."  He nibbled on his newest pastry.  He shoved the box closer to Xander, who was snuggling into Horatio's arms.

***

Ray Sr. walked into Horatio's house later that evening, looking at where his brother and his brother's husband were, frowning.  "He can't sit by himself yet?  I thought he was old enough," he taunted.

"He's a bit sore, Ray," Horatio said dryly. "Besides, I like him in my lap.  It's comfortable."  Ray blushed at that and so did his sister-in-law.

Calleigh smiled at him from her spot.  "Horatio, you spoil the boy."

"He deserves it."

"True, he usually does.  So, did you like our present?" she teased.

"Percival looks adorable in the new collar and leash," he agreed dryly, smirking at her.  She giggled and hugged him.  "Thank you, Calleigh.  You as well, Speed, it was a very thoughtful gift to give Percy a present too."

"I thought you might put it on pouty there, H," Speed taunted back, smirking as well.  "But we did find a nice matching set for him and the son."  Bigger Eric gave him a horrified look.  "Seriously.  Calleigh found it."

"I did.  Di was with me when we found the mommy or daddy and baby S&M sets."  Di nodded at that.

Xander looked at them.  "Guys, there's no toys allowed in this house that we can't *both* use.  So unless you can imagine Horatio in a collar....."

Willow squeaked and turned bright red.  "Bad image," she squeaked, heading out onto the porch with the kids.  Mrs. And Mr. Delko followed quickly.

"Oh, I don't know, I can almost see you in a velvet collar, boss," Ryan teased, going out to rescue the adults from his son before he got more wicked ideas into his head.  On the way past Eric he punched him on the arm.  "Quit giving Toddy ideas, Eric, he wanted to moon people from his carseat and tried to strip off to do it."

"I didn't tell him to do it," he protested, rubbing his arm.

"Well, I certainly didn't and neither did Willow, and you're the only other playful one since I doubt Xander would encourage mooning at this early of an age," he said, smirking at him.  Eric shook his head.  "Okay, who told my son to moon others?"

Speed coughed. "Sorry, we were watching a Brit comedy and he thought it was cute."

Ryan swatted him.  "Fine, then my hit to Eric's shoulder is prepayment for the next bad idea he gives my son."  He headed out there, stopping his son from disrobing.  "No mooning, son!"  Toddy pouted at him.  "No!  No mooning people.  Naked is one thing, mooning is another."  He noticed his wife's embarrassed look. "My uncle?" he guessed.

"Sykes.  In the grocery store.  Pulled them down and wiggled it at her, then turned and smirked back at her."

Ryan looked at his son.  "Don't do that to her, son.  She might follow you around too."  He picked him up to hold him and make him behave for a bit longer.  Mrs. Delko took him to have a talk with him and Eric about how bodies were supposed to be private things, not shown to others.  Ryan looked at Willow.  "She's good."

"She had practice. I can see Eric giving a big shit-eating grin and mooning everyone in church one Sunday."

Mr. Delko moaned and nodded.  "Twice during the same service."  He sipped his drink.  "His rearend was cherry red by the time we got home."

Ryan looked at him.  "You tried."  That got a laugh and a nod.  "You and your wife tried a lot.  You did a great job with Marisol."

"I know," he sighed, going back inside to hug his daughter.  "We did a good job with you.  Your brother was warped by the trip from Cuba."  He went back outside to play with the kids.

Marisol giggled at Eric's look.  "He probably told about the time you did it in church."

"Probably," he agreed dryly.  Calleigh stared at him in horror.  "I was three!" he defended.  "Dad tanned my butt good too."

"I will make this clear now.  There is no spanking allowed in this house," Xander said firmly, staring him down.  "Are we clear?"

"Very.  You manage to raise a slightly evil child with good intentions without it," he assured him with a grin.

"He responds well to time-outs," Horatio offered.  "Plus taking away his treats."

"So that's why he went pouting into the corner when we put out the fire," Di said thoughtfully.

"Probably.  It was nice he knew where to go," Taylor agreed.  She looked at Xander. "Only for the really bad stuff, like running out in the street?"

"I can see one good swat for that," Xander offered, "but nothing else, Taylor.  There's way too much violence in my family history.  I learned from an early age to lie and hit back because of it."

"Fine," she agreed.  "He's not a big enough brat to need it."  Xander relaxed and nodded.

"He's the most polite toddler I've ever seen," Calleigh agreed.  "I know some adult men who don't apologize for farting."

"We got him to stop announcing it," Xander offered with a wicked smirk.  "Blame Don, sweetie.  He's the one who taught him that."

"I remember, I was sitting with him."  She smirked. "Did his dad like Eric?"

"Yup and his mom's pushing for a few more just like him from her own son to have someone to spoil."  He looked at his mate.  "They're coming down with Don next time for a short vacation."

"That's fine."  He kissed him.  "He knows we're together and he was an excellent cop in his day."  He patted him on the back.  "There's food in the kitchen if someone wants to bring it out."  Speed and Eric went to do that, drawing attention of Mrs. Delko, who came to help. Anything kitcheny she considered her job.   Horatio looked at Yelina. "Thank you, the paddle makes a very nice decoration at work.  Frank told the newest rookie cop that I used it when people touched the hummers."  She giggled at that, leaning on her son's shoulder.

"The Wrath of Caine has a new toy," Frank taunted, smirking at them.  "Even you need new toys, Horatio.  Or does your boy there lend you his?"

"Yes, and the bullwhip is very nice," Willow assured him, patting him on the cheek as she came back in with the kids.  "I enjoy using it to scare away reporters outside the station."  Ryan moaned at that.  She smirked at him.  "I was teaching Jessup how to use it but staring at Sykes.  I think she got the hint."  Ryan whimpered, shaking his head as he went to help in the kitchen.  "What?" she pouted, following him.

"I thought you were bad when you taught Jessup how to use the sword properly to scare her off," Frank teased Xander.  "Did you and Speed ever figure out what sort of sword was used on that one case?"

"Pirate blade.  He had a bunch of replicas from the last pirate movie," Speed offered.  He looked at Xander.  "You sparred with Jessup?"

"Yup. He was complaining about Erica hanging out.  So I went to pull two swords from the car and said pretty loudly that we needed to figure out what sort of attack was used on that one victim from last week, leaving it at that level of information, and let him learn how to block shots."

Horatio shook his head with a quiet moan.  "You two are horrible.  I wondered why Jessup had whip marks on his neck."

"He swung it around too hard probably, his arm extended too far and didn't snap like it should."

Horatio kissed him.  "It scares me that you can use that sometimes."

Xander beamed.  "But I'm a good boy most of the time."

"You are, most of the time.  The rest of them you're very scary," Yelina promised with a pat on his head.  "What happened to your back this time?"

Xander blushed then cleared his throat.  "I was so desperate I used Horatio like the toy material he is and got a small tear," he admitted quietly.  She stared, mouth slightly open.  "Um, Ray, I think I broke your mom again."

Ray Jr. came over to lead her to a couch and sit her down.  "It's all right.  Can't you see Uncle H as a toy?"  He walked off, going to get another drink.  "Willow, Xander broke mom again."

"That's, like, ten times this month," she noted dryly, going to swat Xander.  "Be nicer to Yelina."  She walked off shaking her head.

Yelina finally let out a squeak and finished her drink quickly.  Speed handed her another one, letting her gulp that one too.  "Thank you," she said in a high and squeaky voice.

Ray Sr. looked at Xander.  "What did you say to her this time?" he demanded casually.

"She asked why I couldn't sit."

"Too much sex?"

"No, I used your brother like the toy material he is when I got too worked up and got an inch tear."

Ray Sr. paused at that, then gulped his drink and went to sit with his wife.  "More than we needed to know, Xander."

"The rest of us got it over breakfast," Eric taunted with a smirk.  The baby yanked on his arm.  "What's up, Toddy?"  Toddy pointed at the kitchen.  "They need my help?"  Toddy grinned and nodded.  "Okay.  Walk me back there."  He walked him back into the kitchen, taking the platter his mother held out.  "Gee, thanks, Ma."  He carried it out to the table.   Then he went to get more.  He noticed Percival sneaking toward the table.  "Xander."

"Percy, you know better!" Xander called.  The dog came over to sit next to them and get petted.  "Good boy to follow orders, Percival.  Good boy.  Now remember, no begging.  You can clean up the messy kids when they're done."  The dog barked and ran to play with the kids, herding them out onto the covered and gated porch to play with him.

"Best twenty-five dollars I ever spent," Horatio said seriously, squeezing his boy.  Xander grinned at him.

"Hey, um, Horatio?" Speed asked.  Horatio looked at him.  "The Chief told me to tell you that your old hummer, the one that you traded out to have your own, kinda got smashed up today and went into the harbor."  Horatio moaned.  "Apparently the scene down at the docks at four this morning led to one of the semi's hauling cargo ramming it and sending it into the harbor after crunching it up a lot."

"My poor former car, it died a noble and much loved car," he said sadly.  Xander nuzzled his cheek.  "Thank you, dear."

"It had a good, long life and much happiness being your faithful steed to chase down bad guys," Xander soothed.  "Sevar and I are going to have a word though."

"Oh, she's still filling out paperwork," Speed assured them with a smirk.   "The semi's driver claims it was in the middle of the road.  IAB is not happy with her."

Horatio shook his head.  "I'm sure they'll figure out."  He looked at his mate.  "No."

"I wasn't even thinking about it," he promised. "Especially since you guys just got a hefty grant from the Feds."

"True."  He gave him a squeeze then stood up, letting him stand.  "Is it ready?" he called.  "Chasing after Xander made me hungry."  He headed into the kitchen, making everyone laugh.

Speed pulled Xander into his lap to cuddle him. "You still okay?"

"Yeah.  He said it's about an inch and told me a lot of things not to do plus to soak in some epsom salts to make sure it didn't infect.  I'm fine, dad."

"Good.  Next time...."

"Dad, I did it to myself.   I was so desperate that when he tried to stop me I kept going," he promised, kissing him on the cheek.  "I know you worry about me but I'm okay."

"I know you are."  He gave him a cuddle.

Ray Sr. looked at them.  "That's too cute for words."

"He's my father, Ray," Xander said patiently.  "He's allowed to cuddle me.  The same as Aiden is."

Yelina nodded.  "They do cuddle him between them just like he was their real child."

Calleigh cleared her throat and looked at her boyfriend.  "I'm going to cut you off tonight," she said with a sweet smile. "You won't mind missing that body part, right?"

He blinked. "You're pregnant?"  She nodded.  "Really?"  He handed his boy to Eric and got up to pull her closer and kiss her.  "No way you're leaving me now, Calleigh."  She blushed.  "How far?"

"Few months.  Barely sick."

"Cool.  Then we have time to plan the traditional things."  She gave him a look.  "Yes, that stuff.  I'm going to insist."

She swallowed and nodded.  "Okay," she said weakly.  "You're sure."  He pulled her in and kissed her again.  "Yes, Speed.  I can agree with that."

"Hey, Horatio, Xander's getting a baby brother or sister!" Eric called. Xander squealed and pounced them to hug and squeeze and dance around as best he could.

Horatio came out of the kitchen.  "As soon as your vest doesn't fit you're in the labs until the child is six months old and you're fully back to optimum performance, Calleigh.  Are we clear?"  She nodded, swallowing.  "Good.  I'll try to keep Xander from spoiling the new baby too much."

Speed snorted at him.  "What alternate universe did you just come out of?"

Horatio smirked.  "The one where I get to distract him with our newest one?"

"Good point.  Go hug Marisol," he ordered.  Xander limped over to hug her too and pat her belly.  He smirked at her.  "You don't really want to make it to work tomorrow, right?"

"Yes.  So do you, Speed.  We have this weekend off together."

"Hey, Horatio, can we take a few leave days?"

"No, Speed.  She'll need to save up to have more paid leave for the birth," he noted, going back to helping in the kitchen.

"Congrats, guys.  Feel free to harass the wife and I for horror stories," Ryan offered.  "Hey, honey, Calleigh's pregnant," he called.  She squealed and ran out to pounce her to cuddle and dance her around.  He smirked at Speed.  "I'd do the same but you might like it."

Speed snorted, shaking his head. "You're not my type, but thanks anyway."  He took his wife back and pointed her in Ryan's direction, making her hug him.  "Have another one, Willow.  Give Xander even more babies to spoil."

She looked at him.  "Two are plenty.  There's no more baby Wolfes coming to be anytime, ever.  Unless his uncle has a few.  I'm fixed now."

Ryan nodded.  "Two's a good number."

Xander smirked at him.  "We'll see how you feel when they're teenagers."

"Tired," Ryan assured him.  "I can predict that one already."  Xander snickered. "I will be."

"You will be," Mr. Delko assured him, patting him on the back.  "Especially with them so close together, son.  Remember, they will finish growing up from the spoiled little brats they are when they're thirteen some year, about when they go to college."

"By thirteen I was helping the teachers teach some classes, hacking at a very mild level, and dealing with my trust," Willow told him.  "Our kids won't be the brat that Eric could be.  Xander was the wild one.  I was the nice and quiet one who blushed and wore overalls."

"Thinking back, it was Jesse that was the wild one and we just lived vicariously as we followed him," Xander noted dryly, coming over to sit down carefully again.  "Your parents let you run anywhere you wanted as long as you were with us, but Jesse's parents thought we were safely at your house when we were out running the streets and taunting the single gang member we had.  Or looking at the naked pictures in the art books.  Or even at the arcade."

She nodded. "True, he was a lot more wild and drug us along.  Ooooh," she said, coming over to sit next to him, giving him a hug.  "I found his parents.  They're in Mexico.  I wrote to them to tell them how we're doing.  They wrote back a long letter.  They thought you and Jesse were going to hook up too.  His mother said she thought Jesse was going to turn out to be a leather daddy in training by graduation."  Xander giggled at that.  "He would have made a great one."

"He would have," he agreed, smiling at her.  He kissed her on the cheek.  "Get me the addy so I can write too."  She nodded, beaming at him.  "Man, looking back, I feel horribly old and staid now.  Like Jesse was a teenage burnout case waiting to happen but we we're so old now we're talking about the good old days."

She nodded. "I had that revelation when I was telling Toddy about how I liked daycare."

He shook his head.  "I remember hearing that your mother nearly brought down your daycare twice for only teaching play."

She nodded.  "She did.  I cried horribly when they took away my clay."  She smiled as Ryan hugged her.  "You would've tolerated Jesse.  He'd probably be like a thug Ray Jr. at times."

Xander considered it.  "I can see Jesse as a biker actually," he admitted, smirking at her.  "Can't you see him as one of those guys who lives on his bike and takes off for the year- long road trips without warning?"

"Oh, I so can," she agreed dryly, shaking her head.  "Then he'd come back and go 'it's three girls and a boy, they were cute and the mothers now hate me too much to let me see 'em'."   Xander giggled at that.  "Can't you?"

"I can.  I'm not so sure that the one cheerleader's kid wasn't his after all anyway."

"No, I checked on him.  Looks more like Larry."  She shrugged.  "Too broad.  Jesse was a skinny boy, like you were."

"Point."  He grinned at Horatio as he sat down.  "Honey, can we give this new one Jesse's name as a middle name?"

"If Marisol agrees," he promised.  Xander beamed at that and went to talk to her.  He looked at Willow.  "You didn't?"

"It didn't go with Todd and he needed to name the baby after someone," she offered. "I figured I'd do it with Liz but nope.  She's a girl."  She shrugged.  "Speaking of, no one's heard her scream yet."  She got up to check on them.

Ryan looked at Horatio. "Had I known, he'd have been Todd Jesse Wolfe but she thought it sounded funny."

"Parents can be that way," Xander promised, coming back with a plate of stuff to nibble, smiling at his mate.  "You got crunchy stuff."

"Sorry."  He kissed him. "Everyone go get food."

Willow came down with the baby.  "I feel odd without her in my arms."  She brought over a plate, sitting against the side of the couch with the boys so she could feed the baby bird impersonations.

Eric poked her on the chest.  "Moo?"

"You can speak better than that and I will put you in time out for doing that," she promised.  The boy pouted.  "You do not poke women on the breast, Eric, and you still speak better than that."

"Feed baby like Eric eat?"

"No, she's not hungry.  She had a bottle before we came over."  She smiled and patted him on the head.  "Much better this time."  Eric grinned.  "What do you want, a baby brother or sister?"

"Have both?" he asked with a bright grin.

"No," Marisol told him. "Only one, Eric.  I'm not having twins."  Eric giggled at that, hugging his sister.  "I'm not!"

"Thankfully," her mother agreed as she came out.  "Did the doctor say anything?"

"No.  I told him not to.  Horatio, did the doctor tell you?"

"No.  I didn't want to know.  Xander?"  Xander just smirked.  "I thought so.  Are we making him or her share a room with Eric?"

"Eric, do you want to sleep in the same room as the baby when it's old enough or not?" Xander asked.  "Daddy's got to pull out your old crib for the new baby and do some painting."

"Eric's room," he said with a scowl.

"Okay, the baby can have their own room," he promised with a smile.  "Want to go to the paint store with me to pick out pretty colors?"

"Sweaty?" he asked, looking disgusted.

"I won't get that sweaty, son," he said patiently.  "It's easier to paint inside than out."

"You can be home those days, son," Di promised him.  Her son beamed at him.  "Good boy. I knew you liked being with us part of the time."  She patted him on the back when he wiggled closer, letting him snatch off her plate.  "Say please and thank you."

"Fank you, mommy.  Eric hungry."  He went back to letting Willow feed him by opening his mouth.

"Swallow," she complained.  He swallowed so she fed him a piece of crab meat.  He choked and went very red as he started to swell.  "Crap.  Xander, allergy!"  Xander got up with a moan and went to get the baby benadryl, coming back to hand it to her.  She read the directions and dosed him, then pulled him closer to her to cuddle. "I'm sorry, little man."

"He's got a soy allergy too," Di said patiently.  "They think he'll outgrow them.  I'll tell his doctor in the morning."  She handed Taylor her plate and patted her lap.  "Eric?"  He came over to curl up in her lap, snuggling in.  "I know.  It'll be okay."  He nodded, getting comfy.

"Was that real crab meat or fake crab meat?" Xander called.

"Real," Marisol called.  "Why?"

"Eric's allergic!"

"Don't let him eat the puffs, there's shrimp and crab in those too," Mrs. Delko called, coming out to check him over.  "Poor baby."

"We already dosed him so it won't get too bad," Willow promised. "I'm really glad Toddy doesn't have allergies that way. Just to newly mowed grass."

"That's pretty common," Ryan reminded her.  "I have that same one.  Good job, dear."  He kissed her on the head and sat down to help feed their son and letting their daughter suck on some of the less solid food, like the stuffing balls.  Liz beamed at him so he smiled back. "You're a brilliant little one, just like your brother was at your age, Liz."  Toddy gave him a look. "You were. You were two whole months ahead of the baby book."  Toddy beamed proudly at that and stuck his tongue out at Eric.  "Leave him alone, he's sick."  Toddy crawled into his lap so he cuddled him.  "Daddy loves you too, Todd.  Never doubt that we love you."  Todd wiggled to get free and went to poke Marisol on the stomach, looking up at her as he did it again.

"Yes, that's Eric's little brother or sister," she said patiently.  He rested his head against the side, hugging her around it to hum to the baby and babble at it.  She smiled and stroked his back. "This one's going to be very loved," she agreed.  "And very spoiled."

Xander smirked at her.  "Why would he be spoiled, Marisol?"

"He?" Horatio asked.

"Generally.  Not giving that out since you two don't want to know."

"Fine."  He kissed him, staring him down.  "He?" he asked again, more quietly.  Xander beamed and shook his head slightly.  Horatio smiled at that.  "You're sure?"

"Unless the pictures were wrong.  The doctor showed me when I went in with her last week."

Horatio smiled and kissed him again.  "Use the bedroom next to Eric's for the baby, Xander.  You can get Taylor or Di to help you pick out paint."

"Purple?"

"Light purple.  Not dayglo purple or the purple that looks so good under strobe lights."

"Yes, dear."  He grinned at him, then at Eric's father.  "The bathroom is incredible and they finished about two.  Thank you."

"You're welcome, son.  I liked some of those ideas and I'm taking pictures tonight."

"You might want to let me clean up some of the mess. I was soaking earlier," he said sheepishly.  "Oh, we tried the shower last night.  That adjustable nozzle you weren't sure about?  Works very well."  He laughed and went to look and get his camera to take detail shots for his reference book.  The others followed once he was done to see too.

"So, what else did he get you?" Speed asked as he came out.  He looked at his son.  "You're so spoiled."

"I know but I deserve it and Horatio needs it after a bad day."

"He does," he agreed dryly, sitting down again.  "What else did you get him?"

"Some new clothes for when we go riding," Horatio offered. "A book gift certificate.  Two new suits to take the place of the ones that got destroyed on cases this last year.  Plus a new set of massage oils."  He'd not mention the new pillows for sex that he got given. Those were more of a private gift.  As were the ten new bottles of lube he had found in his drawer this morning.  Speed smirked at him.  "He enjoys my massages.  This way I can spoil him more with some attention."

"Sure," he agreed, smirking at him.  "What did Don get you?"

"It's on the FedEx truck since we weren't here," Xander said dryly.  "I'll get it in the morning."

Speed nodded.  "That's cool."  He glanced at Marisol, then at Xander.  "Boy?" he mouthed.  Xander smirked and winked.  Speed nodded, getting that clue.  A little girl Xander.  Well, he'd get some practice in on Liz first at least.  Otherwise his daughter might be like Xena.

Marisol squealed, moving Toddy away from her lap.  "Toddy!"

"Did he goose you?" Willow called.

"No, he tried to grope."

"Son, she doesn't wear a diaper and you're not allowed to grope other's diapers anyway," Ryan said firmly.  "Come sit."  He pouted but came over to sit next to him and sulk.  "Thank you.  You know better."  Toddy pouted at him.  "No.  Not allowed."

Toddy hugged his arm, then went to sit with Xander.  He loved him even when he was bad.

***

Di looked at the room Xander had done, then at him.  "I'm not going to comment but I want to be here when Marisol and Horatio see it," she said, patting him on the face.  "I love you, Xander, but you're color blind and usually have bad taste except in Horatio's suits."  She kept her son from coming in and getting traumatized by the purple and gold room.  She found Horatio's camera in his office and took a picture, then sat down to send it to his inbox at work.

"It's not that bad," Xander complained.

Di texted Horatio's phone as well when he didn't answer right away. He called a minute later.  "Dear," she said, holding out the phone.

Xander took it.  "It goes well together," he defended from breath one.  "I think it's very pretty and regal.  Plus it's got a unicorn and dragon theme in the bedding and the mobile."  He listened.  "Fine, I'll let you see it first.  No, she told me I have bad taste."  He stuck his tongue out.  "He says I don't."  He listened to the quiet orders.  "Yes, dear.  I'll bring you real pictures."  He hung up and took the camera to take pictures of everything.  Then he went to get dressed in some Xander-tight clothes that were comfy and comforting, heading out to see his husband.  He smiled as he parked.  Frank was outside.  He walked over to him, handing him the camera.  "Don't you like the new baby's room?"

He flipped through the digital pictures, then looked at him.  "New head injury?"

"It looks better in person," he defended.

Frank patted him on the shoulder. "Defend it with your life, Xander."  Xander pouted all the way inside.  Frank shook his head.  Sometimes the boy had some really bad taste.  Gold and white unicorns and gold dragons with gold filigree border over a medium purple wall.  "Well, I'm guessing it's a girl," he decided.  "He'd probably do a different color for a boy."  He called Horatio.  "You might want to pop around there first," he warned quietly.  "He said it looks better in person."  He smirked.  "No, he's wearing those gray jeans that he nearly got busted in and a t-shirt that proves he spends more time in the gym than nearly everyone else in this building combined.  Yeah, those clothes.  Thanks, Horatio.  Really.  Of course I'll watch your boy for you."  He hung up and went to find Xander, who was in his mate's office.  "Horatio said you're not to sit alone."

"Why?"

"Because the last time you wore clothes like that here, someone tried to take you.  The time before that the receptionist tried to shoot you.  Sounding familiar?  I can go back further."  Xander pouted but followed him back to his desk, sitting down.  "Now, let's see the pictures again."  Xander handed over the pictures, letting him look more carefully this time.  He downloaded them onto his computer so he could enlarge them. Maybe they looked nicer on the bigger screen.  Well, it was a bit more distinct but it still looked like a Vegas version of a Roman whorehouse to him.  But this was Xander's house....  Then again, Horatio had taste.  He decided to let Horatio burst his bubble this time.

One of the officers came over. "Detective, I noticed your suspect didn't have on handcuffs and that's against protocol; with the Mayor and Chief coming in today you might want to cuff him."

Xander snorted and glared at him.  "I'm Horatio Caine's husband, dipshit.  Get out of my face."  The man gave him a horrified look.  "Now," he growled.  The man ran off.  He waved at Jessup.  "Do I look like a ho today?"  That got a nod.  "Pity.  No one likes my new nursery.  Come see, Jessup, give me a better opinion?"

He came over to look at the downloaded pictures.  "It looks very Roman with a hint of D&D, Xander.  I especially like the dragons and unicorns.  I can see why your second child would like those."  He smiled at him.  "Personally I'd have went with a lighter purple to make the gold pop out more but that's a nicely decorated room."  He wouldn't say that he'd be scared to put his newborn in that room but this was Xander's decorating project, not his.  It definitely wasn't his tastes.

"Thank you!  See, Frank!"

"Uh-huh.  What did Di say?"

"That I only had good taste in Horatio's suits."  He shrugged.  "She's a formal designer.  I'm doing what I think the new baby will like."

"And you are?" someone demanded.

Xander glared at the new cop.  "Xander Harris, Horatio Caine's husband.  He wanted Frank to make sure I was okay until he came back.  Would you like to see the new baby's nursery as well?"

"I sincerely doubt he'd marry someone like *you*," he sneered.

"No, he is, sir," Jessup offered.

"He is," Frank agreed dryly, leaning back.  "By the way, Xander's also an expert in beating the crap out of people.  So step off, Sergeant."

"What is going on here?" Calleigh demanded.

"I'm wearing comfy clothes after finishing the nursery," Xander offered, smiling.  "Come see."

She bent down to look at it, then at him. "I'd have went with a lighter purple.  Daughter?"  He beamed and nodded.  She smiled and pinched him on the cheek.  "Remember, she's not Xena.  No baby leathers like Eric got, Xander."  She looked at the Sergeant, who was huffing.  "Do you have a problem with Captain Caine's husband?   Because it must be only two of you here who don't know who Xander is.  Even in the comfy, tight clothes."  She shrugged.  "I'd back off now.  Really."

"Ma'am, with all due respect, this man can't be who you think he is.  He's a whore."

Xander stood up and got into his face.  "Repeat that, Sergeant.  Please," he growled.  The man sneered.  "Seriously."

"Enough!" Speed ordered as he walked up to them.  "Calleigh, you're needed back in Ballistics.  If it's going to get violent I definitely don't want you anywhere near this," he said more quietly at her hard look.

"I'm not fragile!"

"I know that," he agreed, "but you can still be hurt when the guy shoves Xander.  You're in direct line of force."  She sighed and stomped off.  He glared at the Sergeant, who glared back.  "What the fuck is your issue?" he demanded.  "That he's a boy?  That he's wearing tight clothes?  That he was decorating a nursery?  That he was talking to Frank, who's guarded him a great many times in the past?"

"No little whoreing fag like that could ever be married to one of us."

Xander sneered at him.  "You might want to back up. Your cum-scented breath is very telling," he ordered.  The man took a swing and Xander took two, knocking him down.  "Now then," he said, bending down to get into his face.  "I am the husband of Captain Caine.  Yes, I'm wearing slutty clothes. I do that now and then.  I enjoy them.  They're comfortable. The mother of my son makes them for me.  If you had bothered to listen to anyone in this building you'd be in better shape right now.  I suggest like hell you back the hell off and go away now."

"Xander," Frank said quietly.  "Sit."  Xander sprawled again.  "Thank you for not continuing."

"He's down, that's all I care about, Frank."  He waved at the watching dignitaries.  "He decided I can't be married to my husband because I'm hot and wearing tight pants.  Ooh, nursery's done, Mayor.  Your wife's suggestion of where to get the border was *muchly* appreciated."

"Thank you, Xander.  May I see?"  Frank let him see the pictures.  "That's a darling room.  A bit dark but very nice."  He patted him on the shoulder.  "We saw you hit him, Xander."

"He hit him first," Speed offered quietly, leaning on a partition.  "He came up and demanded that Xander be arrested for wearing Di's clothing."

The Chief shrugged.  "He wears them most of the time when he's not in a suit.  That's normal Xander Harris-Caine attire as far as I know."  He looked at the Sergeant.  "Go sit your ass in my office, Sergeant."  He got up and went that way.  "Xander....."

"He started it.  I even let him have first swing," he offered, holding up a hand.  "I refuse to be called a whore, especially to my face."

"Point," he agreed calmly.  "Why did he try to hit you?"

"Xander noted he had need of breath control agents," Frank noted dryly.  "Mostly due to having oral contribution samples on his breath, boss."

The Chief took a moment to decode that.  Then he looked at Speed.  "Xander said he smelled like the blow he just gave in the locker room."

"Ah.  Well, he would probably know," he decided, shaking his head.  "Xander, you'll stay away from him?"

"As long as he's away from me.  Everyone here, including Calleigh when she was here, told him who I was first.  He didn't listen and he started.  I can almost understand the guy who told Frank I was supposed to be in handcuffs since I was a suspect, he was a really new guy, still in his rookie first week, but really."

"I agree," he offered more gently.  "Let me straighten this out, Xander."

"I'm not going to not defend myself," Xander reminded him.  "Not after having six different bomb attempts on my cars, not after the four assassination attempts, not after the one with the nitro and sugar in my gas tank.  I'm socially polite to those who hate gays, as you've seen in politer society."

"I have, Xander.  Calm down."  He smiled at the pictures.  "That is a bit...strong.  What did Ethan say?"

"I haven't shown him yet.  He and I don't really hang together.  We work together now and then but we don't really hang.  Diametrically opposed views of the world and all that," he noted dryly, smirking slightly.  "Is Mary Eileen in yet?"  The Chief nodded.  "Good.  Then I'll stop over there on the way home."  He waved at Horatio as he walked up to the group.  "Pictures on Frank's computer.  I hit the sergeant who took a swing at me for looking slutty today."

Horatio stared him down.  "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine.  He didn't connect.  I hit him twice and he went down.  I was going for efficient."  He shrugged.  "I'm not going to let anyone call me a whore to my face, honey."

"I know, Xander.  He won't be doing it again."  He patted him on the head, stroking through his hair while he looked at the nursery.  "I looked at it in person.  The paint is lighter than it seems here but it is still a bit strong, Xander."

"She'll love it, it's got bright colors and designs, which the baby books Willow has said are good for babies.  It's got a pretty mural for her to stare at and it'll glow lightly from the street lights so we shouldn't have to worry about her having a fear of the dark.  The crib's pretty with that decorating scheme since it's a gold wood stain on it.  I even found white and gold unicorn and dragon sheets for it."

Horatio smiled.  "We'll live with it for a week and see if it grows on us," he promised.  Xander beamed. "I did make Di quit looking at paint samples."  He looked at the Chief.  "Is Xander in trouble?"

"No.  I saw him hit the other guy, but neither I nor the mayor say the sergeant hit him.  It was explained and I'm going to talk to him.  I did hear someone say something about no real cop being married to a, and I quote, fag whore.  I think Xander had good reason to smack him around.  I'm just happy he stopped.  Let me finish giving the mayor the tour then I'll deal with him."

"Thank you, sir.  Let me know if you need to see Xander over this again."

"I will."  He walked off, mentally calculating how much of a headache he'd have tonight.  He had the surveillance tapes pulled for his use as well.  That way he got a full view of the scene and sound.  He agreed with the irritating little boy, he wouldn't let anyone call him a whore to his face either.

"Xander," Horatio said, staring at him.

"I taunted the once to get him to hit me.  Otherwise I was going to rip his fucking head off, Horatio.  Then I was going to piss down his neck."

"I understand.  Go wait in my office."  Xander sighed, handing over the camera and heading that way.  He looked at the pictures again.  "It is nicer in person," he admitted. "The purple's a bit more subtle.  The mural's nicely done though."  He looked at Speed, then at Frank.  "Who was here for all of it?"  Frank raised his hand. "How much of that was point of view?"

"None.  We had another guy come up and say he should be handcuffed since he was clearly a suspect."

Horatio sighed.  "It happens.  I'll talk to him about the clothes he wears in."

"You know, it could be desensitization," Speed offered.  "Especially since the six different bomb attempts on his cars, the four assassination attempts, and the nitro and sugar in his gas tank, wasn't it Frank?"

Frank nodded.  "That's what he said."

"Really?" Horatio asked.  They both nodded.  "I only remember two or three bombing attempts, one that succeeded if I remember right.  The one with the nitro and sugar I remember. I don't remember any assassination attempts.  Or the other bombs.  Speed, do find that out for me?"

"Ask him, Horatio. I doubt it was noted officially."

Frank moved into another screen, pulling up complaints that had Xander's name in them.  "We've got three IAB reports about bombs, including the one that blew up the porsche.  We've got...   Oooh, Horatio?"  He bent down to read the one he highlighted.  "He never mentioned that."

"He wouldn't, Frank.  Anything else?"  Frank went on, getting the other IAB reports, then two more that were locked with Ryan Wolfe's ID and IAB.  "Interesting.  Where might Mr. Wolfe be?"

"He might be off today," Speed noted dryly, "but I think he came in anyway to finish up his case.  It was bugging him since it had kids."

"Thank you."  He headed back to the lab, paging Ryan to meet him in the hallway.  Ryan came out of fingerprints and swore.  "Mr. Wolfe.  There appears to be two reports of people trying to hurt my husband that's sealed by IAB and yourself.  Would you like to explain that?" he asked quietly.

"No.  Xander was supposed to tell you.  I was the responding officer, Horatio.  IAB took them both over from me.  Xander swore up and down he'd tell you about both assassins."

"Ah, two of the four assassination attempts he mentioned.  Would you happen to have any idea about the other bombing attempts or the other two assassins?"

"Nope.  I told Xander if he had another one I'd come to you myself instead of making him do it."

"Hmm. Interesting.  Come to my office with me?"

"With all due respect, hell no, sir.  He's my friend, I'm staying out of it."  He walked off, going back to fingerprints.

Horatio walked up there, closing his door gently.  "Xander, we looked up the incidences you smarted off about."  Xander went pale and flinched.  "I saw the one report of an attempted attack on you in one of the clubs a few months back.  Who took that one?"

"Jessup.  He was doing some overtime. He and Micheals came out to answer the call.  I was fine, he tried to drug me and had me pinned while I was disoriented.  They drove me home and I curled up on your chest for a few hours while you slept.  I was fine, it was stopped by one of the bouncers."

"All right.  The reason I wasn't told?"

"I begged."  He looked at him.  "I don't want you to have to see that stuff, Horatio.  It's wrong and it'd make you mad."

"I'm already mad," he assured him.  "Hearing it today didn't make it any better.  I wanted, no, I needed to know when it happened, Xander.  That way I can help protect you when necessary.  Especially if you're drugged," he said firmly.  Xander sighed and slumped forward, leaning his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.  "Now, we also saw the two locked files by IAB."

"I don't know who did those.  They locked them and won't tell me anything," he admitted, looking at him.  "I don't know anything other than I kicked one's ass and broke the other's wrist when he tried to stab me in the park during my run."

"I see.  And the reason you didn't tell me?"  He walked closer, staring down at him.

"It was being handled and I did tell you."

"I think I would have remembered hearing about those," he noted calmly.  "Was I perhaps asleep?"

"Nearly," he admitted, grimacing.  "I don't want you to worry, Horatio!" he complained as he stood up.  "I can take care of myself. I'm not fragile like Willow is!  I can and do defend myself.  The same as I defend you."  He blanched and shook his head, taking a breath.  "I shouldn't have said that."

"Yes, you should have," he noted quietly.  "One of them was about me?"  Xander nodded.  "Was it gang related or case related?"

"No.  There's a two million dollar price on your head," he said quietly.  He looked at him then walked over to look out the windows.  "Phil knows, he's working on it.  He knows about the others too.  They've been about the same thing.  All I know is that it's been there since before I met you.  Now they think I'm a good bait."

Horatio dialed the phone. "Phil, please come to my office and bring the files with you.  Not those, Phil.  The one on the assassination attempts and those things.  Yes, I'm just now finding out."  He hung up.  "Why didn't you tell me?"

Xander turned to glare at him. "Why didn't you tell me you were wanted that way?" he countered bitterly.

"I had no idea I was."

"Stetler knew.  Phil and I found that in his old files."

Horatio swallowed.  "It's not that I didn't trust you, Xander, I truly did not know.  The rest of everyone may have and not told me to protect me."  Xander relaxed some.  "I'm sorry if you're upset.  I had no idea.  That's not the same as you being attacked and you not telling me however."

"Not like I wanted to complicate your case load," Xander said simply.  Horatio gave him a hurt look.  "You're working hard, long hours, Horatio. You're doing what you love.  So let me handle the random psychos who show up to hurt us.  I'm not doing that much at the moment.  Really."

"You're more important to me than that, Xander," he said calmly, forcing himself to stay calm.  "I'd rather we took these things on together."

"Then you don't have the time to work, Horatio.  I'm not going to make you choose between dealing with the bounty on you and your job!  You love your job, it's important to the victims that you continue it!   There's no way in hell I'm getting in the way of that!  Even if I do suddenly have to start wearing your clothes to the station so I'm not arrested or attacked!"  He turned around again, staring out at his car.

Horatio walked up behind him.  "If you had told me, I could have managed a better defense of myself," he said quietly.

"Um, hate to mention this, but pot, kettle," Xander said bitterly.  "Or don't you remember our last fight in here?"  He felt his husband flinch and turned to look at him, finding him looking at a spot on his shoulder.  "Ow."  He looked around.  "Dad!"   Speed came running while he got Horatio down onto the couch.  "I didn't hear a shot or the door."

Speed looked at the door.  "It's through one of the windows and the blinds," he offered.  He called security.  "This is Speedle.  Captain Caine was just shot by a sniper in his office.  Get an ambulance, get me Delko.  Get someone up here ASAP!"  He hung up and came over, letting Xander handle the real first aid.  "Horatio, stay with us."

"It's not a fatal wound, dad, it's where I got hit in New York.  Irritating and painful."  He heard running feet and grabbed Speed's gun, pointing it at the person who ran in.  "Who the fuck are you?"

"Xander, he's IAB!" Jessup yelled.  Xander handed the gun back to his father and went back to it.  "What happened?"

Speed pointed at the window.  "Get Delko and Wolfe up here, now."  He nodded, running to find them.  The ambulance crew came in and Xander slugged one who was trying to move him. "Xander!"

"I don't know them!"

"Point," he agreed.  "Go with him."  Xander nodded, going with him.  "You and you, follow," he ordered, pointing at two patrol guys.  They followed outside and to cruisers to follow the ambulance.  He looked at the IAB guy.  "Let me guess, Phil put you over those assassination attempts none of us heard about?"

"He did," he agreed.  "I can see why Xander reacted that way.  Phil told me he was a fierce dog protecting his mate."  He looked at the people running in.  "He'll be fine, it was in his shoulder."

Ryan circled the bullet hole.  "Looks like a very small caliber.  Duck rifle maybe.  Cracked the glass but didn't shatter it."  He took pictures, then looked around, sticking a rod into the hole to get a trajectory.  "There.  Heating system walkway," he ordered. A few of the officers went to check it out.

Yelina came jogging up.  "What happened?  I was coming in when the lockdown started.  What happened!" she demanded when she saw the rod.

"Someone hit Horatio in the shoulder," Eric said quietly.  "Xander's with him.  He was pulling Speed's gun on the IAB guy when I came in.  We're searching for the person now."  He called Xander.  "I need the size of the bullet, Xander.  Just in case."  He listened, then looked at the IAB guy.  "Twenty-two or twenty-five according to him."

"Twenty-two is a popular size for rifles."  He came over to look.  "I'd say.  Get Duquesne to check."  Eric nodded, going to get her.  He looked up.  "This is a mess.  Can I have a better clue?" he requested quietly.  Then he looked at Yelina.  "You were where?"

"Outside.  Just coming in from questioning a witness in my current case.  What is going on?"

"There's been a bounty on Captain Caine's head now for nearly three and a half years.  A few of them have tried to get his husband as bait.  It came to our attention that way.  This was a more overt attack."

"Get him!" Eric shouted.  Someone screamed and a bunch of officers went running.  "We need him alive!"

The guy shook his head.  "Please," he agreed.  "We know Stetler knew about the bounty.  Did he ever tell you anything or hint at it, Detective Salas?"

"No," she said quietly.  "You might ask my former husband.   He has contacts down in that world."

"I've talked with him a few times.  That's how we knew who handles it."  She swallowed and nodded.  "He's pissed off a great many people in the underworld.  His choice of spouse worries others who know about Xander's past.  And yes, he was totally honest with Phil," he admitted.  "As was Mrs. Wolfe."  She nodded at that.  "Your son shouldn't be in any danger, Detective.  He's never without a guard of some sort or a weapon.  Xander has done very well training him to protect himself and others.  He'll make a fine officer if he so chooses."  She sat down on the couch, staring at him.  "Don't worry overly much about this.  We've got it, we're waiting for some confirmation of who's the local contact for the bounty.  The only one we know is in New York."

"Does the lab up there know?" she asked quietly.

"Not yet.  I've been in contact with their Internal Affairs department but nothing's come of it yet."

"Did it have anything to do with their officer who was shot during a robbery?"  He nodded.  "You're sure?"

"I'm certain. The payoff to his account came from the same account that the bounty was drawn from. The problem is that we can't trace the source."

She stood up again.  "Willow works with a fairly cranky federal agent now and then and Xander respects some others.  Have them look," she ordered firmly.

"I've talked with Deputy Director Fornell.  He couldn't get that information either."

"Gibbs has two hackers plus Willow if he needs her," she pointed out.

He smirked.  "That's not a bad idea, but it can get them into trouble if it's not a military source."

She shrugged. "They respect Xander and Horatio.  They backed him up in New York during the convention."

"I know.  I got a full report on that as well.  Xander's known about this for the last ten months now.  One of them came for him and Ryan Wolfe was the responding officer.  We took it from him and I got assigned personally as my only case."  She nodded slowly, staring at him.  "We don't think it has to do with your former husband."

"Good.  That doesn't make me feel any better however."

"It shouldn't.  It wouldn't to me."  Eric came back panting and out of breath.  "Get them?"  He nodded.  "Where?"

"Three.  Fast little sucker too."  He stared at him. "This team is a family.  We will know tonight."

"That's fine.  I'll brief you all in Horatio's room tonight.  Some of you have touched on the corners of it.  We've taken investigations from Wolfe in the past.  We took one from Calleigh in the past.  We took a few of your old ones to look over as well."

"I remember.  Not Speed's?"

"They're not targeting him for some reason."  He shrugged.  "It's an anomaly.  We're not sure why yet."

"Good.  Tonight when?"

"After shift, Detective.  Give them time to fix him and let him rest for a few hours.  Were they having a fight?"

Eric nodded.  "We just found out about it from him today."

"Interesting.  Let me make a call then we'll talk to this sniper you've found."  He called a number in New York.  "It's Ian.  We just had a sniper in the office down here," he said quietly.  "In the shoulder.  He knows now.  Thank you."  He hung up and followed him.

Yelina looked at Eric.  "Ten months he's known."

"It's been going on how long?"

"Three and a half years."

"You'd think someone would've told H by now," he complained, following her down there to listen in.

***

Hillborne walked into Mac's office, staring at him.  "You summoned me?"

"I want to know about this assassination attempt that Lindsey Monroe said happened in Miami.  She said there are roots up here and I wasn't told there was an active investigation being done by one of my officers."

"I couldn't be sure who was involved.  Besides, you've got a temper."

"Unless you want my temper to come out on you, I'd give me the details," Mac ordered coldly.  "The Miami lab is like family to some of us.  I still have to tell Flack his nephew is in danger again.  Now, what the hell is going on!" he shouted.

Hillborne flinched and handed over the file. "That's all we've been able to piece together. Monroe doesn't have the underground contacts we'd need to find a true root cause."

Mac pushed a few buttons on his phone.  "I want Danny, Stella, Don, Sheldon, and Lindsey in my office immediately.  Tell Lindsey she is to bring any information she has, even if it is redundant and make Stella escort her."  He hung up and read through it.

Don stormed in.  "What happened now?"  He handed over the file and Don exploded in rage, swearing and hitting the wall before turning to glare at Hillborne.  "You didn't tell us this for how long!"

"Ten months," he said quietly.  "We're searching it out.  I have Monroe on it."

"Fucking yay!  I want someone more experienced than her!"  He looked at Mac.  "Who do you want on it?"

"All of us.  We need a deeper contact to find the root cause."  He waved the rest of them in.  "Where's Danny?"

"Out on a call," Sheldon reminded him gently.  "What happened?"

"Horatio Caine has had a bounty on his head now for three and a half years," Lindsey said, handing Don the file she carried.  "Ten months ago someone decided to note that his husband was fair game, but hard.  That the Captain would do anything for his spouse.  That's how IAB in Miami got involved, after an attempt on his husband.  When it started to point back this way, Hillborne was called and he's asked me to investigate as a CSI."  She looked at Don.  "Xander's well- protected by them, Don."

"Bullshit!  Horatio was just shot in his office!" Stella said hotly.  Lindsey flinched.  She had only heard about a shooting, not where.  "Calleigh called me crying.  It was a shoulder shot into his office from one of the ventilation system walkways."  She snatched the folders to look through.  "Okay, we need what?"

"The root cause," Hillborne told her.  "We have a minor one.  We have a local contact for the bounty.  We can't prove he's doing anything with it or that he's involved and we can't get him to break to get more information.  We don't have the root cause.  We don't know what it's about.  All I know is that the officer down there in charge of it thinks that Xander can protect his husband well enough for now."

"Apparently not," Don sneered. "And who protects Xander and his kids?"  Hillborne flinched.  "I've got a great-nephew and one on the way from those two.  Not to mention the other kids he's in contact with, like the other CSI's kids.  Not to mention that people do occasionally manage to hurt him!" he finished at a yell.  He called Danny.  "How close are you to getting back here?  No, it's bad fucking news.  Get here when you can."  He hung up.  He glared at Lindsey, who flinched away from him.  "Good instincts," he sneered.  "Have we contacted anyone in the FBI since assassination is in their job description?"

"The guy down there's talked to Deputy Director Fornell, the one who helped him when he was nearly taken up here by the director.  They've said they can't find out anything more than we can."

"Bet me," Don sneered.  He snatched the folders back and went back to looking them over.

Danny jogged in.  "What happened in Miami this time?"  Don handed over the folders then stomped off to hit some more hard objects and blow off some steam.  Danny swallowed. "Anyone dead?"

"Shot in the shoulder.  Someone shot Horatio in his office while he and Xander were talking," Stella offered.  "Read.  You'll explode."  He sat down on the couch to read.  Then he got up and paced while he read, mumbling something.  Finally he turned and punched Lindsey then stomped off.  "Danny!"

"I'm going to talk to someone!" he yelled back.  "I'll be back in time for the flight down there!"

Mac swallowed.  "Okay.  Who's going besides Danny and Don?"   Sheldon stared at him.  "I would go if they need me but Xander can do a mean impersonation of me on his worst days.  He's got more than enough guns to last him for the next decade in a stand-off.  Stella?"

"I'll stay.  You go."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure.  Go.  I'll make you some reservations."

Don walked in.  "Where's Danny?"

"He went to see if he could get us a contact," she said, looking at him. "You, Danny, and Mac are going, Don."

He nodded. "Good.  I'll get us a flight."  He went to do something online at his desk, then came back with information.  He slapped it down on Mac's desk, staring at him. "Uncle Patrick would be hissing in his grave."

"I'm not so sure that he wouldn't have known," Stella offered quietly.  Don turned to look at her.  "When you got back you said something about dissolving the foundation if something too terrible was threatening Xander's life," she reminded him.

Don nodded slowly.  "I did.  There was a clause to that effect.  At which point we'd split up the remaining assets of the foundation and go work it separately.  And?"

"The contract is three and a half years old, Don, and he had how many underworld contacts?" she pressed.  "You said yourself, he had contacts that could find out anything.  Including who Eric's grandfather was according to something else you said."  Don stiffened.  "I think he may have heard about it and may have been in the process of finding out."

Don dialed a number on his phone. "Ethan, Don Flack.  Did Patrick know who put the bounty out on Horatio?"  He pinched the bridge of his nose.  "Any idea of a higher point than that?  No, that's more than we knew.  Thank you.  Fax it to Mac, please? Yeah, that number's fine.  I can gather it.  We're on our way down.  How is he?  No, we were told Horatio got shot in the office.  Shoulder wound," he said, looking at Stella, who nodded quickly.  "Yeah, shoulder wound. Thank you.  Keep me informed.  We're flying down within the hour."  He glared at Lindsey once he hung up.  "Go wait by the fax for the precinct.  Gather the stuff Ethan's sending.  He's got a higher clue."  He called Danny.  "Ethan found a higher name.  Come back and get it, then ask before we fly down tonight."  He smirked.  "I wouldn't care but it might go against his case, Danny."  He nodded once.  "Okay."  He hung up and looked at Mac.  "He's down in holding looking at one of Sonny's goons.  The guy's babbling in fear in the background, promising he don't know nothin', his words."

"Get him.  Let's see this link.  Stella, while we're gone, you're in charge.  I want nightly updates at the very least."  She nodded, going to do that.  "Go, Lindsey."  She headed out with Hillborne.  "Don, stay calm."

"Fuck calm, Mac, this is family!"

"Call your father to warn him."

Don snorted and shook his head.  "He doesn't like Xander."  He walked off, heading off to figure out what he'd need to pack quickly.  He looked at his boss. "Someone's got a contract on my nephew's husband, shot him in his office," he told her.  She gasped.  "Yeah, shoulder wound.  Mac, Danny, and I are headed down tonight.  Monroe's been doing the case.  If you hear *anything* about Miami, I need ta know immediately.  We'll be with Caine and his group."  He finished packing what he'd need from his desk then typed out a note and printed it, grabbing it, signing it, and handing it over.  "Consider me down there until it's solved or someone's dead."

"Agreed, this is family," she said, looking at the simple statement that he was going on indefinite unpaid leave due to a family emergency that involved assassination attempts.  "Be safe, Flack."

"I'll do my best.  I'll even try to keep Xander from killing half of the city looking for the guy.  Can't promise, but I'll try."  He walked out, heading down to his car.  Danny was waiting beside it.  "I'm heading home."

"That's fine.  I can take the train from there, it'll save me two stops and a transfer."  Don nodded, letting him inside.  "You okay?"

"Nope.  You?"

"I'm going to kill Xander."

"Xander turned it over, he was protecting the family," he said grimly.  "Do you have the feeling no one told Horatio?"  Danny nodded at that.  "Well, I guess he'll point out that Horatio does the same thing to him."  He started the car, listening to the engine.  "Out!"  They bailed and he grabbed his bag at the last moment, then had to duck when it exploded.  "Yup, someone's higher on my shit list now!" he said hotly.  Mac came running out with Stella behind him.  "I'm going to castrate them before I kill 'em.  Anyone mind?" he demanded.

Mac looked at the car, then at him.  "I can teach you how to do it and make it last hours," he offered.

Don smirked. "Thanks, Mac.  Let me get us both home to pack.  You coming?"

"I've got a bag packed in my office," he pointed out. "Go."  Don and Danny headed off, catching a cab together.  Don even paid for it to go to Danny's place once he got out. Mac looked at Stella.  "I want to know by tonight."  He stomped off to grab his bag and check it, then make a quick stop to his hidden cache to gather some weapons he might need.  Xander had a very eclectic collection but these were his favorites.

***

Xander flinched as the door opened, then sighed in relief.  "Don."  He got up to hug him.  "You're okay."

"Yeah, they gave me a thirty second timer," he admitted, just holding him.  "Are you two okay?"

"They sedated him when he got too upset at what the IAB guy said."  He pulled back to look at him. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Pissed as fuck," he promised. "We're here ta help.  Who's got what and Ethan found some stuff that Patrick had found out."

"He sent it to Daddy."  He wiped off his cheeks, then looked at him.  "Did you drop by the house?"

"I did.  Is the purple being painted over or is the blue the old stuff?  Danny wanted to know."

"No, the purple was the new nursery.  Who in the hell started to paint?"

"Marisol.  She was in there and paint splattered, but napping in the rocking chair."

Xander snorted and shook his head, looking back at Horatio.  "No, the nursery is that pretty purple and gold colors with white accents.  Tough shit."  Don smirked at that. "I've got to worry about the mundane things."  He snapped the bracelet he wore to block some of his magic now and then.  "Otherwise I'd create hell."

"Go. I'll sit watch.  You can be delicate with the pregnant woman."  Xander nodded, kissing Horatio's forehead and whispering to him, getting a slight sleep smile.  Then he disappeared.

Don flopped down.  "I know you're kinda awake, Horatio.  You good?"

"No," he admitted, opening his eyes to look at him. "He fusses horribly."

"Ya think?" he noted dryly.  He looked at the bandage.  "At least it's not fatal.   You want the update we got when we got off the plane?"

"Please.  They're trying to keep me uninformed.  I didn't know until Xander accidentally blurted it out today."

Don nodded.  "Yeah, he's got fierce bitch syndrome about his family," he reminded him. "Thankfully.  Or else he might be dead by now."  Horatio moaned, shuddering.  "I know, but he's safe and we'll solve this or else I'm letting Xander kick someone's ass while Mac watches.  By the way, he's going to stop Marisol from painting over the nursery."

"It looks nicer in the light," he offered.

"I liked it."  He shrugged.  "Danny said the color reminded him of one of my suits."  Horatio smiled slightly at that.  "Good drugs?"

"Very nice drugs.  What's new?"

***

Xander walked into the nursery and glared at Danny, who quit looking at the mural.  "I want it the purple and gold with white."

"Sure," he agreed.  "Reminds me of one of Don's suits," he agreed, heading out.

Xander tapped Marisol on the forehead, frowning at her. "What's wrong with purple?"

"It's not a very baby color, Xander."

"So?  It's not like any kid around me is going to be anything but an extraordinary baby, Marisol.  You can paint your nursery blue if you want.  This one is purple and gold with white."  She pouted. "You've got your own, I'm doing this one."

"But...."  He scowled.  She relented. "Fine.  I'll fuss with my nursery back at Momma's.  Are you *sure*?  It's a very adult scheme."

"I'm very sure and I hired someone very good to do the dragon and unicorn."  He looked at the destroyed wall and sighed. "It's going to be a pain in the ass to fix that.  I'm not sure they've got any more of the border."  He frowned and went to find the remains of the paint he had used and got to work covering up her handiwork.  "Someone look in the office closet and see if there's any more border?" he called.

"Only a few feet," Danny called back a few minutes later.  "You'll need more."

"I know."  He got back to work, sighing in frustration.  She pouted.  He glared.  She pouted worse.  He shook his head.

"But, Xander...."

"Marisol, our daughter is going to live in this room and she will love it. The same as she's probably going to inherit Eric's baby leathers."  She shook her head.  Xander nodded.  "Yeah.  Di made them for Eric. I think it's very cute.  He loved wearing them and they're very soft.  Along with the suede outfit.  Speaking of, I should have them cleaned."  He got back to painting.

Mac looked in and blinked.  "Xander...."

"Don't even," he warned.

"I was going to say it's a pretty job but the paint you're covering is too fresh.  It'll ruin the new one."  Xander pouted at him.  "Fix it tomorrow.  Come listen to the small update while Danny takes Marisol home."  That got a nod and he helped Marisol up and let Danny have her.  "Are you all right?" he asked quietly.  Xander shook his head.  "Will you be okay?"

"When the person's blood is staining my hands, feet, and upper body," he assured him.  "Because I will rip him apart with my teeth if I need to."

"I know, Xander.  Come on, let's talk about what we've found out on our end since earlier."  Xander nodded, following him down.  "I can help you put up the wallpaper border once you've got some more.  It'll keep you from fussing."

"I'm going to the gym tomorrow.  It's my day for practice and weight training.  Also, I do five miles in the morning."  He looked at him.  "Nationals are only a month away, Mac," he said helplessly.  "I don't want to abandon everything but I will if I have to."

"No, for now, go on as you've started.  Let us handle the case."  Xander slumped into his usual chair and nodded at that.  "I doubt any of us want this to go on any longer, Xander.  Don wants this solved within forty-eight hours.  I'm thinking a week is more likely."  He called his office. "Stella, Mac, anything new?  I'm briefing Xander."  He nodded, making a note.  "Thank you."  He hung up.  "She sent him down some of the tea he loved the last time he was in town."  Xander let out a small smile at that.  "Okay, did you hear from Ethan?"  Xander nodded.  "We found one contact above that but still not the top guy, but it is definitely leading back toward organized crime.  I don't know the motive yet.  Only the guy who set it probably knows why he set it."  Xander swallowed and nodded.  "We have found out that he upped it last year, about when people started to come for you.  We correlated a few other attacks on you back to this."

"How far back?"

"About a year ago.  Right before the Scillion attack."  Xander grimaced at that.  "We don't think she was related, but the one right after her, the one in the Subway, was.  Then the one in Orlando."  Xander moaned, holding his head.  "How many of these haven't you told Horatio about?"

"Unless he sees them, hears about them from one of the patrol guys, or one of the family, not a fucking chance," he said dryly.  "He'd fuss me to death for still getting more stalkers.  He has no idea why they're still coming and neither do I.  Though I can correlate a few back to the heiress getting my stupid ass press.  One's also sent Marisol lingerie and told her that she should please me better."  Mac groaned at that.  "Agreed.  Do you want the real file?"  Mac nodded, giving him a look.  "Okay, as a rule, anything I want Horatio to find is in here in the top black filing cabinet drawer.  That's my drawer.  Two of the files are in there.  I know one's recently disappeared; I'm not sure who took it though."  Mac nodded more slowly.  "Everything I don't want Horatio to find is in his pajama drawer.  He never goes in there and it's underneath the drawer.  In this case, it's the key to the safety deposit box and a file that lists the names and any case numbers that were filed.  Detailed report copies are in the box."  Mac got up to get that.  Xander headed into the kitchen.  "Want coffee?"

"Please."  He came out with the list and the key, heading back to Horatio's desk.  Horatio's former office had been comfortable but now he had a top of the line computer and a very comfortable desk chair that cradled his body like a glove.  He wiggled some and got settled in, opening up Horatio's connection to the PD.  He typed in the password and user name that was taped to the monitor, smirking as it came up with Horatio's inbox.  He answered two and then sent one to the present chief that he was in to help coordinate the investigation with a few other officers that were Xander's family.  That he was using Horatio's access for a few days.  He got one back immediately asking who he was so he reminded the man, getting a groan.

Xander brought in the carafe.  He typed in a message and sent it, getting a 'that's fine, we'll set you officers up one of your own' and it was left there.  Xander shrugged. "He hates me but I don't really care."  He waved. "I'm going to try to sleep.  Have you seen the dog?"

"Not yet," Mac admitted.  "Percival?"

"Percy!" Xander called, heading for the bedroom.  He called Ray Jr. on his cell.  "Do you have the dog?"  He looked under the bed, then headed for the kids' rooms, not finding him in there either.  He walked out into the back and looked in the dog house. "Percy?"  He leaned back into the house. "I'm going to check with security in case he got out, Mac."  He headed for the gate shack, finding the guard in there asleep.  He coughed. "Have you seen Percival?"

"Um, nope, Mr. Harris.  Not since you brought him in earlier today."

"That's what I thought but he's not in the house.  Can you pull up the cameras at the other one?"  The guard nodded and did that.  "Damn it," he muttered, seeing the mess.  "Is Di still there?"  That got a nod.  He called on his cell.  "Is Percy with you?"  He sighed. "Thank you."  He hung up.  "She brought the dog home.  Watch out really hard for us, okay?  Someone shot Horatio at work and we think I've got another stalker or something."

"Will do, Mr. Harris.  Your guests?"

"Don Flack is my uncle.  Danny and Mac are both NYPD that we work with a lot and are on the board of the Foundation.  Di and them are Di and them," he muttered, getting an understanding smile.  "You have kids, right?"  He nodded.  "Did you try to go behind your wife's back and redecorate the nursery?"

"No, sir, I'm not stupid.  She do it on you?"  Xander grimaced and nodded.  "Good luck winning that argument."

"She's got hers for her house, I've got mine and I will defend it against her, her mother, and her brother.  Or else I will spank her in unfun ways."  That got a snicker.  "Thanks, man."  He headed back to the house, walking in the front door. "Percy's with Di."

"Good.  He'll keep her and Eric safe."  He looked at Xander. "Try to sleep, Xander."

"I'm going to relieve Don.  I told the guard I've got another stalker."

"Good idea.  Let Don have tonight.  He'll be fine.  He can sleep in the morning."  Xander nodded, trudging to bed.  Mac sighed when the phone rang, smirking at the voice on the other end.  "Hi, Mrs. Delko.  No, Mac Taylor.  Don's guarding Horatio at the hospital and Danny was the one who dropped her off.  Why?"  He listened, then rolled his eyes.  "Xander designed the nursery here and she started to paint over his hard work.  He glared, told her she had the one at your house to decorate and this one was going to be this way even if she didn't like it.  It's pretty but I'd think it was for an older child.  Purple and gold with some white."  He smiled.  "I can't be sure.  It's a medium purple hue.  Yes, it's very pretty.  She was painting it light blue.  No, he's firm in his desire to have this nursery this way and she can do her own any way she wants."  He smiled.

"Well, that way she can still fuss over one, just not his.  No, he's very firm and right now isn't a good time to come to him about it.  She didn't tell you?  Horatio got shot while in his office talking with Xander.  Shoulder.  He'll be fine, Mrs. Delko.  Yes, Eric would know.  He probably doesn't think that you'll be in danger, Mrs. Delko.  Well, remind her that she's still got yours to do whatever she wants with and that Xander's is very pretty and artistic.  I know she'll pout. My wife did when I painted my office on her one weekend and she wasn't pregnant, but this is Xander and Horatio's house, Mrs. Delko.  Of course you can.  One of us will be here at all time, hopefully mostly with Xander, and we'll take alternating shifts with the local PD to guard Horatio as well.  Of course.  Call first so I can make sure he's awake.  Thank you, Mrs. Delko."  He hung up and complained mentally about pregnant people.  This is why he didn't really want children, they drove everyone around them insane.

***

Xander looked up as Mrs. Delko and her husband walked in.  "Before you say a *word*, this is my nursery, she'll have her own, and this one is in my pattern and my colors and she can bite me.  I may love Marisol but I don't care.  I'm too stressed right now to care.  I could give less of a damn about it."

"That's fine, son," Mr. Delko agreed.  "We convinced her last night this was better for the baby anyway, give it a visual clue to see where it is.  Can we see?"

"Sure," he agreed, smiling at them.  "Sorry, but I'm in fussy brat mode again."

"I understand, son.  With Horatio injured that way, I'd be fussy too."  He followed him upstairs, looking at the wall that clearly needed to be redone.  "Well, she messed up her paint and yours."  He stroked over it.  "It's easily fixed.  I do like that trim.  You cut out the other colors?"  Xander beamed and nodded.  "Good job."  He walked over to look at the murals.  "My boy said he did that for you for five hundred.  Good job."

"I had a picture scanner and projector put up for him," Xander said modestly.  He looked at his might-as-well-be grandmother.  "You hate it, don't you?"

"I think it's a bit dark and adult," she admitted. "More for a teenager than a baby."  She patted him on the cheek.  "It does suit your tastes, Xander.  It matches very well with the other house."  He blushed at that, looking down.  "Then again, the crib looks wonderful in here and the murals are adorable."  She walked over to look at the sheets.  "Awww, you even found unicorn ones."  She smiled at him.  "I think it'll be wonderful once you've got that one wall fixed and I'm sure it'll grow on her."  Xander grinned at that.  "Now, she said you ranted about baby leather?"

"Yeah, Eric had the most adorable outfits that Di made him," he assured her, leading her back to their room to pull them out of the closet and open the keepsake box so he could lay the outfits out on the bed.

"Awwww," Mr. Delko said, picking up the suede outfit. "And it's not even indecent either."  His wife swatted him.  "They aren't."  He let her see and she cooed over the small leather pants.  "You're going to hand them on?"  Xander nodded.  "Did Diana say that?"

"I don't know.  If she doesn't want me to, I'll beg really nicely for her to have her own set."

"Her?" Mrs. Delko asked, perking up. "You're sure?"

Xander pulled out a picture from the ultrasound and handed it to her.  "Unless it's hiding really well, yeah."

"Oooooooh!" she squealed, hugging him.  "A granddaughter!"

"I'm sure she'll be one spoiled girl," her husband said, patting her on the back.  He rolled his eyes.  Some people got very excited over children.  Mac stuck his head in.  "Xander had a picture from the ultrasound."

"Hmm."  He looked at it and smiled.  "So, a Xander-daughter instead of a Xander-son.  Remember, Xander, she's not Xena."

Xander pouted at him.  "Calleigh said the same thing.  I'm not going to turn her into Xena.   She was severely confused and really nasty because apparently they never bathed.  At least the guys on Hercules took a *few* baths a season, and usually together in the same bathhouse.  All Xena did was fish."

Mac shook his head and walked off, then came back to look at the clothes.  "Who made baby leathers?"

"Di," he said proudly.  "Though Calleigh and Speed found daddy or mommy and baby S&M gear somewhere in town.  They said Eric and I could have a matching collar and I pointed out Horatio had to be willing to wearing it too.  We have a rule that the only toys that come into the house are ones that we're both willing to use."

"I didn't need to know that, son," Mr. Delko noted patiently. "We'll let you talk Diana into making her some of her own once she's born.  That way you can have these ones preserved to embarrass your son when he starts to date."  Xander giggled.  "Now, what's this I hear about an assassin?"

Mac coughed.  "More like a contract and bounty out on Horatio.  He didn't know until yesterday.  Xander's handled a few attempts to get him as bait without him knowing why.  We're fairly certain the rest of the families are safe and since it's got ties back into New York we could come down to guard the family and help the case.  I've got the rest of my staff up there working on it."  Danny walked in and said something in his ear.  "Don all right?"

"Fine.  Really tired."  He looked at Xander.  "Horatio's coming home today.  Don said so after one of the nurses went on an 'you can't be gay, it's illegal, immoral, and against my faith' rant in the middle of his room.  Of course, she's on suspension at the moment as well because Don promised to buy the hospital and shut it down if they didn't.  So he'll be here in an hour.  Need anything?"

"I need to take these to the cleaners and I need to change the bed, then I need to get groceries so he's got stuff to eat."  He gathered up the clothes.  "Mac, watch these guys.  I'll be back by the time he's here."  He rushed out, coming back to get his keys and wallet.

"Use the alarm!" Danny yelled after him.  He sighed and rolled his eyes.  "Di and the others are at the other house," he offered.  "Toddy and Eric apparently lit their kitchen on fire."

Mr. Delko clicked his tongue.  "How?"

"Gas stove, curtains next to it, and apparently they had a breakdown in communication about who was watching the boys for an hour of going 'fire pretty' to the stove," he said dryly. They sighed and went up the street to check in with that family and Mr. Delko to hint he could have the damage fixed. Danny looked at Mac.  "You think Xander will be okay?"

"I think I'm waiting for him to snap," Mac admitted.  "I think until he does, he's going to be quietly unstable and prone to hurting those greatly who try to hurt what's his."  Danny nodded, getting that.  "So, when he goes to the gym later, I want you to go with him and see if you can get him to snap.  Watch him for the usual signs.  I know he rants and hits things like you and Don do.  I remember at the convention he went to cry after coming back."

"Okay, I'm there.  When is he due?"

"Not a clue.  He pretty well makes his own schedule."  He shrugged and went back to the office, then came out with the key and the notes.  "Xander wrote this out.  I need into this safety deposit box and I need the files.  It's all the crap he's been through in the last year."  Danny grimaced but nodded, heading to do that.  Mac went back to the office to handle some of the stuff for Horatio.  It was the least he could do.

***

Danny walked into the bank and over to the secretary's desk.  "I have written permission to get into a safety deposit box for someone," he offered, tapping his badge.  "Who do I speak to?"

"The manager, officer.  Give me a moment to get him for you."  She called him.  "Sir, I have an officer from the NYPD who needs into someone's safety deposit box."  She hung up.  "Give him a minute please, sir."

"Of course.  Thank you."  He went to look at the paintings on the wall, looking at the man who joined him.  "Hi.  Detective Messer, NYPD."  He handed over the letter.  "Mr. Harris is turning those over to us to aid in the investigation about the assassins coming after him and his spouse."

"An assassin?"

Danny nodded.  "Unfortunately.  Captain Caine was shot in the office yesterday.  They missed anything important but it's still a worry."

"What is the tie to the NYPD?"

"Xander's like family and we think he's native to our city."

"Oh, I see."  He looked at the letter, then the key.  "He's still using the wrong key for that box," he noted, handing it back. "We had to move it to a larger box last month."

Danny pulled out his phone to call Xander.  "Hey, they moved boxes?"  He groaned.  "Yeah, I'm here for that.  Here."  He handed it over.  "Harris."

"Sir?"  He blinked at the terse orders.  "I really shouldn't...  Of course, sir.  Thank you, sir."  He hung up.  "That may no be all that's in that box."

"Oh, we heard all about the false warrant thing and everything else.  Like I said, Xander's like family," Danny assured him, following him.  "Right now, I'm only concerned with the attacks."   The manager nodded and retrieved the master key, going to let him into the box.  Danny blinked at the box, then at him.  "The files are in here?"  It was a small chest of a box.

"In the bottom section," he admitted, pulling out the jewelry and cash, plus some pictures.  "I really would feel more comfortable for him having this in an account."

"Yeah, well, he wants it readily available in case something happens.  Let's face it, his son was kidnaped a little over a year ago by his nanny.  Horatio works in a dangerous job and has been taken hostage in the past I'm sure.  Plus emergencies do come up."

"I understand."  He got to the plastic container of files and handed them over.  "You will tell him we cooperated, won't you?"

"Of course."  He smiled.  "This his only one?  I doubt this is all the files."

"Um...."  He took the key and went to retrieve that box, finding more in there.  "Well, perhaps I was wrong."

"That's okay.  Anything not involved he can put back later or tomorrow or somethin'.  He gathered everything together, watching as the contents of that one box were put back.  He flipped open a jewelry case.  "Stella got a piece of this set," he said fondly.  "She's our coworker and in charge of our lab in New York while we're here."

"Oh.  Was she the curly brunette on his arm at the event in New York?"  Danny nodded. "She was a stunning woman."

"Still is," Danny assured him with a smile.  "She's kinda mine too."

"Ah, then I'm sure you're very happy with her."

"It takes more than beauty to make a happy marriage but yeah.  We are.  Thank you for this."  He walked the files off, going out to the car.  He looked at the monitor he had put onto the jewel box and smirked when it was removed again.  He locked the car and went back inside, showing the security guard the feed, getting a glare.  He tapped his badge and not a nod. "That's Mr. Harris' box.  He'll want to make sure it's all right."

"Thank you, sir.  We've been wondering about those things."  He made a call and they went into the vault area to ...talk with the manger.

Danny strolled back out, his seed of chaos sown for the day.  He hated assholes like that.

***

Mac looked at all the files, then at him.  "All these?"

"The ones in the plastic were in another box, but yeah."  He sat down, pointing at the rest of the stack. "Oh, found evidence of the manager getting into his stuff to play with it at least.  Told the guard.  He didn't look happy either."

"I'm not surprised."  He looked at the files in plastic and snorted.  "Xander's been keeping track of those things."  He waved one.  "Proof that the bank's stolen at least a million from him."

"Wonderful," Danny said bitterly.  "He do anything about it?"

Xander stuck his head in.  "I've told the DA, they hate Horatio.  I've faxed those to the SEC and given a statement.  They're investigating.  What did you find?"

"The guy who let me into the box was also withdrawing something out after I left.  I used one of the mini spy cameras and the watch attachment."  He smirked.  "I told the guard."

"Good.  I hope like hell they have fun in prison for taking people's money.  Even if Rebecca's husband does sit on the board.  You know, that's not a bad idea."  He took most of that file and went to call her. "Rebecca, Xander Harris.  I need to tell your husband something about one of the banks he sits on the board of.  I have proof that got sent to the SEC about them stealing some of my money and things."  He grimaced. "Because I'm married to a cop and I do believe in the system, dear.  No, I hadn't thought about it until just now.  We're going over what I have about the assassin who tried to kill Horatio yesterday.  Please.  I'll gladly copy it off for you, dear.  Thank you.  I'm at home.  The gate guard will call me and I'll let you in.  Bayshore Estates.  Yup, that's us.  Thank you."   He hung up and went to make copies, then bundle the original back away in the bottom of his closet.  He heard the door open and bounced out there.  "Don, Rebecca's coming.  The gate guard will be calling.  Come on, Horatio, I've got the bed all set up for you."  He stole a quick kiss then helped him that way.  "Are you in bad pain?"

"No, I'm all right," he promised.  "Where is Mac in the investigation?"

"I gave him my copies of the reports I've filed."  Horatio looked at him.  "I did."

"Would those be the ones in the old safety deposit box that I don't want to know about?"  Xander nodded. "I wondered why you had some police files in there."  He allowed himself to be put into bed and tucked in.  He caught Xander's hand, looking at him.  "How many were there?"

"I have no clue. I don't count them.  I put them in there in case it becomes pertinent. So I don't know.  I gave Mac the list I keep last night and Danny went to get it today.  He found other proof that the bank's stealing and I'm handing it to Rebecca since I just realized her husband sits on the board.  We have got to switch banks, dear."

"We do," he agreed, smiling at him.  "Are you going to fuss?"

"Like you did when I had chicken pox," he promised with an evil smirk.  "But first, let me make sure she's got enough stuff for him and then get Mac in here to give you an update."  He took another kiss. "Can I get you anything?"

"Some juice would be nice.  Also, turn the tv this way?"  Xander nodded, doing that for him and going to get him some juice for Mac to bring him.  "How many?" he asked, sitting up slightly.

Mac handed over the index.  Horatio moaned.  "That was my feeling.  Thankfully he's kept good track, Horatio.  You've trained him well in how to be a CSI."  He smiled at him.  "Good job."

"Thank you.  I tried," he said flatly, giving him a look. "Where are we?"

"Correlating and waiting on information.  Oh, and Lindsey's ducking everyone before someone kills her.  Danny hit her for not telling us."

"I wish someone had told me."

Mac nodded.  "That might've been nice.  Did he push the incident with the nitro in his tank back?"

"Right before I got shot I heard the words 'pot, kettle' then an incredible pain."

"Good.  That'll teach you to keep things from him."

"Hmm," Horatio said, sipping his juice.  "Anything new?"

"Just the one step up that Danny's contacts gave him yesterday.  Need anything?  I'm doing some of the organizing stuff from your computer."

"Watch out for Speed turning it off on that end.  He did it to me a lot when Xander had chicken pox."

"This time it's for a different reason."  He tucked him in better and smirked.  "Eric's parents were here to look at the nursery and the wall that Marisol started to repaint on him.  They thought it was more adult than the new baby would be but she thought the sheets were adorable.  So was the mural.  Xander blatantly got possessive about it and said he didn't care, she had hers there with them to do whatever she wanted to."  Horatio smiled slightly at that, finishing his juice and putting the glass aside.  "They thought the baby leather outfits were adorable.  She cooed.  Xander had them dropped off to be cleaned so he could preserve them."  Horatio smiled more at that.  "He's already fussed himself to death.  Di had the dog last night so he was up and pacing all night.  Danny finally knocked him out then held him down for a few hours so he could get some sleep.  Nothing else happened but Xander and he both got some needed rest."

"You two can sleep together here, Mac."

"I know we can, Horatio, but I was on guard last night.  Tonight Don can do it since you'll be here.  That way Xander and you can both sleep and Danny and I can both sleep, but Don can sleep while we're all up and working."  Horatio nodded at that. "Need anything else?"

"The painkillers are knocking me out. I'll nap for a bit then get up to help."

"Stay, Horatio.  He'll carry you back to bed if you get up, just like you did him."  He smiled and walked back to the office.  He found Xander pouting in there.  "Danny tell you to quit fussing?"

"Rebecca's mad that I went to the SEC.  She chewed me a new one.  Even after she read some of that.  I pointed out I wanted what was mine back.  That he should know before they come down on him too.  That I liked her husband, he was a nice guy and I was sure he wasn't involved.  Also that Danny caught the guy stealing today."  He shrugged.  "I feel like I did a bad thing but I know I didn't."

"You didn't," he promised.  "It was the right thing to do."  He patted him on the back before going back to the computer.  He looked.  "He was right, it's off."  He called in.  "I was trying to be nice and do some work, Speed.  What happened to Horatio's office computer?  What do you mean someone confiscated it.  Who?"  He groaned.  Then he looked at Xander.  "The chief did that why?"

"He hates us because we're together, I'm a strong guy, he's into chaos magic and I'm not. Pick your reason."  He picked up Horatio's cell off the desk and called Phil.  "My man!  Who in the fuck took my boy's computer?  Yeah, because Mac was trying to get stuff done.  Well, gee, I don't know, remote log-in?  Technology is a wonderful thing, Phil.  How do you think he worked from home while I was sick?"

Mac took the phone.  "This is Detective Taylor.  Yes, I am.  Not only am I more than qualified to be logged in but I'm also part of this investigation.  Yes, that's us.  Danny and Don may still have one, I'm not sure.  Gee, I don't know," he noted dryly.  "Why would Xander be working with us?" he asked dryly.

Xander pulled out his cellphone and called the Chief.  "Have I mentioned recently how much I hate it when you try to hurt my spouse's career?" he asked patiently.  "Yes, remote log-in.  I'm quite sure.  Mac runs the lab we switched with.  Danny and Don both came down.  Yes, that one," he noted dryly.  "Why would they?  He didn't know until I accidentally let it slip against orders from IAB.  No, they told me not to tell him that there was a bounty on his head," he said bitterly.  "Not that I liked it and it's not like I trust most officers at the station at the moment, but I was ordered.  Yay.  Very yay.  Chief, two simple facts.  I'm as strong as Willow ever was *that* way.  And my spouse is injured, there's someone after my family, and my first instinct isn't to defend.  It never has been. Now, I can take off this regulating bracelet I wear when I'm prone to accidental things, or I can fuss my mate to death at the moment.  Which I do is presently up to you.  Because he didn't know.  No, that was my file.  I pulled it up and printed it off from his computer.  Not like I was going to go into the lab and do it, Chief.  Do you think I want to compromise evidence by breathing on it?  Yes, I do keep an independent list of all those.  It's already here.  Too late."  He smirked at Mac, writing a note on the calendar.  "Sure.  You do that."  He hung up and speed dialed Ethan.  "I'm going to kill your student now. You mind?"  He nodded once then hung up.  "Ethan said I could hurt him all I wanted, it'd be good stress relief."

"I'm sure it would be.  It's not very politically correct."

"Mac, he's into chaos magic.  I'd hate to see what he had planned for this city."  He stood up.  "With that said, I'm going to go into the backyard and make his life interesting."  He walked out humming happily.

"Xander," Horatio called.  "Come here please?"  Xander lost his smile and trudged that way, laying on his good side.  "What happened?"

"The Chief had your computer confiscated.  I'm going to curse him to an interesting life.  You mind?"

"I do," he noted patiently, patting him on the back.  "That's not very good for my career, Xander."

"I know.  I'm sorry."  He pouted. "Just a little one or an imp or something?"

"No, Xander."

"Not even one to make his nose run and his ears stuff up permanently?"

"No, Xander."

"Or how about the next animal he sees near a camera takes an extreme liking to his leg?  That's not permanent harm."

"No, Xander."  Mentally he was smiling.  Those were some very good ideas.

"How about I tell Sykes that he's got a raging crush on her and he's willing to give her information in exchange for sweaty and hot sex in his office?"

"That might get her hopes up," he said patiently.  Though he was now mentally doubled over in laughter.  He could almost see her going up to him in a slinky, low-cut dress and making a pass at the man.  "I can't let you curse him, Xander.  Not by word, deed, or thought."

"So you mean I can't give you the information file I have on him?" he asked, teasing his mate's bare chest.  "I wanted to before but he thinks he's got a hold on me and he doesn't.  Because I will kill him if he goes near Marisol again."

"He went near her?"

"To flirt and hit on her."

"Interesting.  No, you can't curse him but I would like to see that folder."  Xander got up and went to get it out of the filing cabinet, bringing it back.  Horatio looked at it then at him. "You do realize I know where all your hiding spots are?  That your key under my pajama drawer keeps falling off?"

"I'm trying to be good and stay out of all the conflicts."

"Try harder," Danny said from the doorway.  "Don's hungry.  You need anything, Horatio?  Or you, Xander?"

"I'm good," Horatio offered.  "Xander, are you hungry?"  Xander shook his head.  Horatio looked him over. "What did you have for breakfast?"

"Cheerios."  The last Horatio knew they didn't have cheerios in the house.  He stared his husband down.  "That's my story and I'm sticking to it."  He stomped off.

"No cursing him," Horatio yelled after him.

"Meany."

"No, Xander!"

"Fine, I won't curse him!"  He grabbed his keys and headed for his car.  "Going to the gym!"  He opened the door and found an officer standing there.  "On guard detail or are you here to get your ass kicked for some reason?" he asked blandly.

"Xander!" Mac snapped.  Xander glared at him then at the officer.  "Yes, officer, did you need something?  Please excuse him, his husband was shot yesterday."

"Actually, um, I'm here to serve this," he said, holding up an arrest warrant.

Xander took it to look over, then snickered.  "Yeah, but I was in New York when that happened."  He called his contact in Internal Affairs.  "What did I supposedly do while I was trapped in New York thanks to the FBI?  I'm staring at it, Phil.  Yup, that's who signed it.  Fine, meet me at the station and you'll get this straightened out before *I* start to work in mysterious ways."  He hung up.  "You're to bring me to the station.  There's no way I was there, I was out of the state.  Internal Affairs will be coming to see who filed it."

"Why?" he asked hesitantly.

"Because I'm working with them on a case.  My husband, Horatio Caine, got shot yesterday."  The guy flinched.  "So, yeah.  Let's go so I have a new target for my irritation.  Shall we?  You can follow me."

"Okay, as long as I can follow you."

"I'll even drive like a normal person."  He walked out, going to the station to chew someone a new one.  He found Phil and Eric waiting on him, handing it over and looking at Eric.  "I had been planning on going to gym."

Phil looked at it, then at the officer silently following Xander.  "I've got it."  That got a nod and he disappeared.  He looked at Xander. "Who have you pissed off recently?"

"The sergeant yesterday who called me a whore to my face?"

"Well, we have the activity log from the hotel and you weren't busy that day.  They'll say you could have flown down, did it, then flown back."

"Small problem, I was stuck in New York because the FBI put me on the no fly list for being gay."  Phil moaned.  "Sykes got that report because of me.  Remember all the fun I had with the FBI?  That was during *that*."

"Good point.  Let's go sit in my office, Xander.  I'll see what they're doing and who's doing it."

"Good, because I want to know who I can curse since Horatio said I can't get the Chief this time."  He followed him, growling subvocally the whole way.  Xander flopped down across from him and lit the nice smelling candle with a thought and a look, then stared at him.  "Had to burn it off and your office smells like my son again."

"I had one officer who had an accident in fear," he admitted, going to hunt down the paperwork on this case.  He found the identity of who had input a positive identification of the suspect and got up.  "Stay.  I'll be right back."

"Sure.  Always happy to stay."  Phil left and he looked at the screen, then smirked. "Oh, someone's going to have a bad day," he growled, concentrating hard on not letting his magic go.  Horatio had ordered.  He had to remember that, Horatio had ordered him not to.  He looked at the computer, then took a deep breath and called Eric.  "How bored are you?"  He smirked.  "How many other times does my name appear in reports today?  Yesterday there were only ten, including all the IAB stuff about the jewels and the stalkers.  Yeah, run a name query."  He nodded.  "Would you please print that list off for Phil?  Thank you, Eric.  No, I'm waiting to hear who I get to go off on."  He hung up and calmed himself further.

Phil came in with a list.  "Thank you for that, Xander.  It was my next step."  He sat down and looked at him.  "Other people have his ID."

"So?  Where's the location code?   Horatio had to explain twice how he got files into the computer without it having a 'lab' location code."

"Interesting."  He looked then sighed and nodded. "It's from his office."  He printed those out.  Then he looked at him.  "No slipping."

"Fuck you," Xander said, staring him down.  "If he's moving against me, I have the right to defend and attack back."

"Defense only, Xander."

"Fuck you," he said, standing up.  "We done?  I'm finding more and more reasons for a heavy bag."

"No.  You're not.  One of them was a 'dead or alive' warrant."  Xander flopped down with a moan of complaint.  He made a conference call.  "This is Internal Affairs.  It's been brought to our attention that there's been a few warrants put into the system for the husband of a higher ranking officer, and upon searching we're finding the roots of petty jealousy.  Harris.  I want everything with his name locked immediately, IAB coding, including those, and ...."  The door burst open.  Xander pulled out his gun and moved to defend himself from the two cops standing there.  "Now!" he growled, hanging up.  "Stand down!"

"Sir, there's a warrant for his arrest," one of them offered.

"No, there's not.  Someone input it to get him like they got Caine.  Xander!  Stand down!"

"I'll be fucking damned if I'm not going to defend myself!" he said hotly, glaring at him for a second.

"Put it down, Xander."  Xander took a step back.  "Please.  Just put it down.  They're not going to touch you."  Xander tensed when more came in. "OUT!"  The officers backed out.  "Xander!"  He slowly lowered it but didn't put it away.  "Thank you.  Now, boys, explanations?"

"The Sergeant said there was an arrest at all costs warrant for the guy you brought in here," one of them offered.  "That's why he pulled us from our precinct."

Xander snorted and leaned against the table.  "I doubt it.  I'm Horatio Caine's husband.  There's someone after him and someone's spent their free time putting my name on cases."

"Which sergeant?" Phil asked.

"He have a black eye?" Xander asked dryly.  One of them nodded.  "Hmm, sounds like the bastard who took a swing at my yesterday."

"Xander, put it away.  They won't hurt you."

"Um, no."  He looked at him.  "I may trust you, you have watched my back through numerous serial killers and stalkers, but no."  He looked at them.  "What was the point of breaking in here?  After all, if I'm in here, I'm already in custody," he noted dryly.

"They said he was in collusion, sir."

"Internal Affairs?" Xander asked dryly.  They looked hesitant at that. "Someone has faulty thought processes."  He looked at the candle, then up, cursing everyone related to this to a very visible marking.  Then he looked at Phil, who was glaring.  "What?"

"No magic, Xander."

"Bite me."  He looked at the officers.  "Anything else?"

"No, sir.  Um, do you have a permit...."  Xander nodded, pulling it out and tossing it over.  "Thank you, sir.  Oh, this expires in a month."

"I'll have it renewed before then," he promised.  "Thank you."

"That's okay, sir.  Are you a former officer or military?"

"Survival training.  My town had a thirty percent homicide rate."

"Oh, damn," one of the guys in the back said with a wince.

"Hmm, and I'm a marksman so I would've wounded at least."  He stared at the two in the lead, who blanched.  "Stupidity one-oh-one, boys, how do you enter a room that you've got to kick the door in on?"

"Um, announce then do it, but stay out of the line of fire for the first few seconds just in case," one answered.

"And you did what?" Xander asked more patiently.

"Kicked in the door and rushed," the other sighed.  "Point taken, sir.  At least it was a harmless training exercise."

"So far."  They nodded at that caution and left.  Xander put his gun on the table and looked at his helper.  "I'm going to kill someone for doing this to me."

"I know, Xander.  What did you curse them to?"

"A very visible mark.  It's slowly getting worse as a rash."

"Let me go check the lab first.  I know someone used Ryan's ID once."  He went to do that, putting two guards on the office from the earlier set.  He found Ryan scratching.  "Rash just pop up?"

"No, it was here when I got in, but I did see two or there others who had one."  He pointed up the hall. "You should see the new intern."  He shrugged. "Mine's a drug allergy.  I'm allergic to my new sunscreen.  I can get verification I came in with it, Phil."

"Thank you.  Please do, just in case."

"I can write that out for him," Speed offered.  "Would you happen to know why some people have rashes that look like they've got dye pack splatter in purple?"

"Yup, your son.  They put a capture at all costs warrant into the system on him.  A few just tried to get him in my office."  He walked out to gather the people who had this rash.  He put out a call to the other IAB officers to send the others to him as well.  By the end he had twelve people, including the Chief and his assistant.  "I love conspiracies," he noted as he stood in front of them.  "Xander?"  Xander was brought in by Speed, making most of them glare.  "Could it have missed anyone?"

"If they were acting against me for another reason.  I can amend it."  He glared at the chief, then concentrated, giving the others a sudden screaming desire to start confessing about how they wanted to hurt him and Horatio.  He looked at Phil.  "Done."

"Thank you.  I'm sure it'll come back to my ears."  He glared at them.  "Let me guess, you didn't like the fact that Caine takes it up the ass now and then?"  They all glared at him and a few looked nauseous.  "Yay."

***

Xander walked in late that night, finding Di looking sheepish.  "Made too big of a mess to clean up?" he asked bitterly as he walked past her.

"No.  Eric decided to dent that small bronze statue of you."  Xander shrugged.  "That's really the boys, Xander, and we do clean up every night."

"I know you do. I'm having a bad day."  He turned to look at her.  "Some officers very nicely put a capture at all costs warrant into the system on me to get me away from Horatio.  I spent the day being threatened by them while IAB worked with me in his office.  A few times some of them even tried to break in there to get me.  We're damn lucky some members of the MDPD don't have new holes."  He picked up a vase and threw it at the sliding doors.  "I need to calm down," he said more calmly.  "Go home, please?"  She nodded, hurrying out.  Xander headed into the bedroom, getting into his trunk of things in his closet.

"Xander," Horatio said quietly. "Come here."

"No."

"Please?"

"Horatio, I'm hellishly pissed at the people you work with right now, I'm mad enough to hurt you by accident and I don't like that about myself."

"No going hunting, Xander."  Horatio slid out of the bed and made his husband stand up to look at him.  "Are you all right?"  Xander shook his head. "Did anyone else get hurt?"

"Two of them got shot non-fatally to stop their babbling about their plans to hurt you and collect the bounty.  I didn't do it."  Horatio nodded at that.  "I ended up cursing the chief too, he was one of the ones doing the warrants.  His assistant trashed his office the day of All-City.  I'm so sick and tired of this," he admitted quietly.  "But I'm also angry and I need to wear it out."

"Hunting won't help and you'll make stupid mistakes," Horatio said, stroking down his cheek.  "Come hold me?"

"Horatio, I'm going to hurt someone," Xander said seriously, staring at him.  "That won't calm me down this time.  I'm well past that.  By the way, I broke Yelina's vase."  He kissed him, leaning against him.  "I need to do something physical.  I need it now."

"No," he said quietly.  "That won't help you."  He did what he could to calm him down. "At least get me back to sleep before you go for a run."  Xander nodded, helping him back into bed and laying beside him until he finally gave up.  He could feel the faint tremors where Xander was holding himself back.  He took a gentle kiss but the tremors got worse, now he was trying to keep from hurting him.  "Go," he whispered.  "Take someone with you.  Be safe.  In my second desk drawer, the flier."  Xander kissed him desperately then got up to change his clothes, heading out to gather that and Danny since he was waiting by the car.  Horatio moaned and silently prayed that his mate could wear it out there.

***

Danny looked at the club, then at Xander.  He took the flier and moaned.  "Okay, if that's what you want."

"That's what I need, big difference.  What I want is someone's throat in my teeth."  He parked and got out, bringing the flier with him to the door.  "Still here?" he asked, holding it up.  The guard nodded.  "Entrance fee?"

"Two hundred.   Membership."

Xander looked at him.  "Someone mistakenly put a warrant in for my death.  Who do I talk to about membership?"

"I can get him out here.  Your husband?" he asked, nodding at Danny.

"The one who'll drive me home."

"That's fine, sir."  He called inside and a bigger guy came out.  "Him, sir."

He looked at Xander, then snorted. "I know you."

"Yay.  Did you hear what they did today, Sergeant?"

"I did, kid.  You okay?"

"Nope, and he won't let me go hunt anything.  This is better."

"They say you can fight."  Xander nodded.  "Okay.  Pay the entrance and I'll let you in tonight."  He nodded at Danny.  "Your guard?"

"Yup, in case someone didn't hear the rescind order."  He paid the fee and walked inside, letting Danny have the flier.  The owner walked him down to the ring and gave him a shove inside.  Xander looked at the two guys staring at him.  "Hey, even odds."  They looked at each other, then sneered and came for him.  Xander took off his shirt and went, making the first move this time.

Danny watched from the sidelines.  Xander was a thing of beauty when he let it go.  Both those guys were tagged a lot more than they got Xander.  Though you could tell he wanted a weapon with the way his hand was clenched.  He looked at the owner.  "Got one with staffs?  He's moderately good with them."

"I heard about him and Tentacles."  He nodded at someone to call the fight when one went down and didn't get back up.  "Xander, stand down."  Xander huffed but backed down, going to the opposite side of the cage.  "Throw the boy a staff.  We'll do a weapons fight."  Xander just smirked evilly at him as he caught the staff someone tossed down to him.  They cleared the last fighters and a new one went in with his own staff.  His was metal, Xander's was wood.  The guy lunged with a battle cry and Xander snorted, taking him out.  The metal staff broke his but it gave him two weapons and he went after the guy again, getting him a good few times.  He finally pressed the 'give up' buzzer, earning a loud cheer from the crowd.  Xander tossed the pieces over his shoulder when the next one came in without one.  The man sneered but Xander shrugged from his corner.  The guy lunged and he met him, and it was pretty evenly matched.  Xander was starting to come off the pain and anger high, the crowd could tell it. He was moving a bit slower now.  The other guy was bigger and stronger but Xander was generally faster.  Xander ducked behind him, taking out his knees and getting him down onto the ground, then tagged him in the back over his heart.  "Stand down!" he called.  The buzzer rang and the crowd went nuts in a higher pitch.  More money changed hands.  He looked at Danny.  "Think he's sane?"

"Yup."  He looked at him.  "They all gonna live?"

"Yeah, we don't allow fatal blows."  He shrugged and looked around, waving a hand.  "Xander asked for special, one-time permission," he said, looking at the boy, "because someone did him very wrong today.  Good job, Xander."

"When I'm calmer, maybe I'll try for regular admittance.  It'd do me good."

"It probably would," he agreed.  "But not right now and I'm not tangling with your spouse."

Xander shrugged.  "He's in bed."  He got off the guy and walked out the door, looking at him.  "Thank you."

"You come to me directly, kid."  Xander nodded at that.  "Thank you for not picking up the stake," he said quietly.

"I knew he was human, he was huffing and panting."  He followed Danny out, letting him drive since he ached badly. "Can we stop at a convenience store so I can get some juice?" he asked finally.  Danny nodded.  "Other way," he said quietly.  Danny turned in the other direction and headed for the house.  They stopped and Xander went inside for some tylenol and some juice, bringing Danny out some juice as well.  He took them openly and sank back into the seat.  "I'm still wound."

"I know.  Club?"

"Yeah, maybe.  Switch places with me."  They switched places and Xander drove them down to the docks, going to a rave he knew floated back and forth between two warehouses.  He found it and parked, getting out to head inside.  The bouncer looked at him.  "Bad day."  He paid their cover and headed onto the floor.  Danny was right behind him, he knew that.  He glared at the vamp working the crowd, making him hiss and back off, then turn and run.  "Good idea."  He took his spot and got into it.  He felt a cool body slide against his.  "No vampires tonight," Xander called.  "I hate vampires."

"Then why come where we hunt?" she asked in his ear.

Xander turned to look at her, making her hiss.  "Because most of these kids aren't you."

"True.  We'll leave you alone and leave for the night."  Xander nodded at that courtesy, then she left.  Xander let himself get drawn deeper into the crowd, trying to get lost again.  Danny found him and pulled him closer, letting him have some safety.

Danny knew that he wasn't helping as much as he could.  Xander trusted him but not enough to let go fully, like he needed to.  He called the house, talking as quietly as he could.  He knew he was still probably yelling but Don was fairly understanding.  Don and Xander got on better.  Xander would feel safer for him.  Xander looked back at him.  "So you relax better," he called, hanging up and putting his phone away.

"I'm surprised you didn't call Dad."

"He's celebrating being a new dad."

Xander nodded, trying to relax again but he knew it wasn't helping.   Don walked in and found them, coming to take Xander.  Xander gave him a 'sorry' look, getting a shrug.  He pulled the boy closer, letting him shelter against him, just holding him when he let it go finally.  He nodded at Danny to go, getting a nod and him heading for the house.  Xander stepped back, cleaning himself up.  Don tipped his face up, nodding at the door.  Xander shrugged.  Don gave him a look and Xander shook his head, trying to get back into the music.  Don hauled him outside to his car.  "Not what you need, Xan," he offered.  "Come on, let me pick the place.  Every now and then I gotta do this with Danny too."   He took them to the club he had been taken to the last time.  He had needed to let go and Eric told him to go there.  They had joined him a few hours later, when he was calmer, so it was a good spot in his mind. Xander walked up to the door and paid their cover, getting horrified looks.  "He's having a stressful day.  Someone tried to shoot his husband yesterday."

The bouncers nodded.  "We've seen Darkness now and then after a few bad days.  Go ahead in, boys."  They watched, seeing how Don moved.  Then they called the PD number most of the bouncers in town had.  "Sir, Darkness is here without his usual guard," he said quietly.  "Dark haired, thin....  Oh, that's his uncle?  Huh.  Oh, *that* uncle.  Sure, sir.  Thank you.  No, somewhat bruised.  Look like he got into a fight in a parking lot or something.  Thank you, sir."  He hung up and looked at the head bouncer, who was waiting.  "That Detective Tripp guy said his guard's more than good enough.  That's the other guy who helps him run the Benis Foundation."

"I heard he's a cop.  That's fine.  The fight?"

"Detective Tripp didn't have a clue, but he said he's had a shitty day, his words. His husband got shot yesterday but I was assured he was fine."

"That's fine.  I'll keep a discreet eye on him."  He went to do that, watching as the boy let it go.  He was clearly still uptight and stressed but his uncle made him laugh a few times and he slowly relaxed back into the music.  No one came near them but they did relax into it.

***

Xander was woken by the phone and groaned as he grabbed his cell. "What?" he asked, sounding cranky.  "No, Melody, that was Don.  Yes, my Uncle Don, the guy who I run the Foundation with.  Because he was helping me destress after Horatio got shot the day before yesterday, but do tell the gossip hounds that he's single and looking. Sure."  He hung up and called the station she had mentioned.  "I do wish you guys would get some information right," he said, realizing he was on the radio by the laughter.  "This is Xander Harris.  The guy I was with last night is my *Uncle*.  Don runs the Foundation with me and he was helping me destress after my husband got injured.  He was keeping me from getting hurt while I destressed if you want to be technical about it.  No, that was another officer who was on escort duty, but thank you for thinking I'm a slut too.  Now I remember why I hate you guys.  Yeah, you can quote me and call him if you want.  He'll tell you the same thing.  Eww, Don's like my big brother!  You sick fuck!"  He hung up and laid his head back down.

"Want one of my pills for the bruises?" Horatio asked quietly.

"No, I'm good.  It's a dull ache. I can swim with it."  He leaned over to kiss him.  "Sorry."

"I'm not.  You needed it after yesterday."

"I was talking about waking you up with my rude call to one of the local radio stations."

Horatio chuckled and Xander moved closer to cuddle him.  "I can see why they think you'd cheat on me, but I know the truth, Xander."  He stroked through his hair.  "You took a shower when you got in?"

"Yeah, I smelled to put it nicely."  He snuggled in. "How do you feel?"

"Decent enough.  Is the Chief quitting?"

"He claimed blackmail.  Had stuff to back him up," he admitted bitterly.  "So probably not.  I could only wish but nope."

"Probably better anyway.  The person after him would be more violently anti-gay."  He stroked over his mate's back.  "Did it help?"

"It did.  By the time I was calmed down to the point that clubbing worked, it was three fights later."  He stretched then winced.  "Ow."

"Want one of my pills?"

"No, I'll make do with some ibuprofen."  He snuck a kiss.  "Can I get you something since I'm going in search of juice?"

"Mac brought me juice and the mail.  He put a glass on there for you and some pain killers."  He pointed at the tray on his bedside table.  Xander straddled him for a minute, making Horatio arch up against him, earning a smile.  "I could use a nap."

"Let me drink some painkillers first and then I'll let you nap."  He snuck another kiss, sitting on his mate's hips as he drank down what he needed.  Then he kissed him again and got down to giving him a soothing blowjob, sending him back into a nap.  He tucked him back in then headed into the living room.  "Hi.  Thanks, guys."

"Not a problem," Mac admitted. "I have a few of those methods too, Xander."

Xander grinned at him, then at Don.  "I've already called one radio station and pointed out you're my uncle and like my big brother, I'm not sleeping with you."  The house phone rang and he sighed, answer it.  "Harris."  He listened.  "No, Melody, I'm sure Don's my uncle.  Yes, that uncle.  I know I was rude to the DJ.  Well, I wasn't in a particularly *good* mood yesterday considering how some people decided I should be killed," he offered blandly.  "No, they tried repeatedly yesterday.  Anything else?"  He grimaced.  "That's fine.  I can bring Don to the polo match."  He rolled his eyes, then shook it.  "I still have to do my practice in the pool, Melody.  Yes, and Nationals are in just under a month now.  Horatio wants me to go.  Shoulder.  He's fine.  If I can.  He's napping.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "I'm going to the other house to swim.  That way I don't have to fight the people in the gym today.  I helped Horatio back into a nap.  Thank you for the juice, Mac, and the painkillers, Danny."  He went to grab his suit and change, then headed up to use his pool.  He found Taylor lounging beside it with his son, waving before he dove in.  He winced at the pain of the bruises but that was life.  He had swum with worse. This pool was shorter, only half an olympic-sized one.  He knew that though so he could mentally time himself while he did double sprints

Eric checked his watch from the back porch, then the pool. "You're faster than that, you were when you got shot!" he yelled.  "Fix it, Harris!"  Xander waved and did a true trial run.  "Now do thirty more at that speed!  You need more endurance!"  He sipped his coffee, looking at Speed and Di, who were with him.  "Think he realizes the whole lab got suspended in the investigation?"

"Probably not.  I heard him swearing at the DJ this morning," Speed offered.  Calleigh came out and sat in his lap, getting a hug.  "Xander's up."

"I heard Eric yell at him."  She looked out there.  "He's doing good."

"He is.  Keep going!" he yelled.  "Doing good!"  Xander burst on a burst of speed for his last two and Eric smirked, nodding when Xander paused to look at him.  "You shaved a whole second off.  I'm impressed.  Come here."  Xander got out and came up there, making Di giggle at his swimsuit.  Eric frowned at her.  "They're comfortable."  He looked Xander over. "You okay?"

"I went and got into an intentional fight with someone who understood."

"We heard," Speed assured him.  He looked him over.  "What's the other guy look like?"

"Worse."  He shrugged.  "This was after three really."

Eric nodded.  "You okay to swim?"

"I've swum with worse."

"Decent."  He motioned him down and Xander leaned down, letting him pat him on the head.  "No more going out with Don.  It scared some people that you were cheating."

"We spent most of the morning reminding everyone that Don was your uncle and that he helps you run the Foundation, that he's the guy Horatio gives you to when there's danger," Calleigh agreed.  Xander moaned and trudged back down there.

"Do your distance ones, then break and go back to sprints," Eric ordered.  Xander nodded and dove back in, going for his distance practice.

"He should've been a merman," Di said in appreciation, pulling out some paper to sketch him.  Calleigh got the camera and took some pictures for her, making her smile.  She even got a quick series of him doing his turn.  She settled in to draw and work on some new outfits off to the side of her drawings.

Ray Sr. came out onto the porch with them.  "Any word on Horatio?"  He watched Xander swim.  "I'm guessing he's okay?"

"Probably soothed back into a nap," Speed offered, looking at him. "Let me guess, you heard the rumors?"

"I had but I know who he was out with.  The same as I know they're too cuddly for Xander to ever cheat on him.  He saw the boy stop and roll onto his back.  "Cramps?"

"Probably."  Eric got up and walked down there.  "Xander?  Cramps?"

"Yeah, stomach cramps," he admitted, swimming over and getting out to lounge.  "Sorry.  I'll go back once it's stopped."

"That's fine.  Come up and eat something then go back to it.  We'll call the others."  He walked him up there, letting him have his seat while he went to call the other house.

"Hey, Xander?" Di asked quietly.  "Taylor and I wanted to ask you something."  He looked at her.  "Can she and I buy this house?"  He shrugged.  "You don't know?"

"Not sure.  It's linked to the arsenal and all that, Di."

"It's not like we'd keep you out of it, Xander, and everyone knows that you've got this one anyway.  For a hiding spot it's too well known."  He sighed and nodded.  "Just think about it?"

"Sure.  I'll let Horatio talk me into it."  She beamed at that.  "It will be easier to steal Eric for weeks on end."

"And to get him back," she agreed dryly.  "Are you okay?"

"Stomach cramps."  He shrugged.  "It happens."

Speed looked at him.  "Stress cramps or flu cramps?"

"Probably stress.  Melody called on me to come to the polo match today, bring Don and Horatio if possible, so she could chew my ass a new one for being out with Don last night."

"No, we wanted you out with someone last night," Speed noted patiently.  "Because you'd have went hunting otherwise.  Oh, we like that venue.  We've seen other cops who've went there in the past."  Ryan came out with little Eric.  "He's got to go to the polo match this afternoon to defend that he's not cheating with Don."

"Can I come?"

"Sure," Xander agreed, grinning at him.  "You'll have to jump in sometime as a judge."  Ryan beamed at that.  "You get sworn in the weekend after Nationals or the weekend before?"

"Before."  He sat down.  "Should we bring the kids?"

"I'd say yes, because I like to bring Eric, but with yesterday?"  They all nodded at that.  "By the way, why are you all here?"

"Two of the night shift people were involved and it got the lab shut for the day," Ryan told him.  "Pretty purple rash, Xander."  Xander just gave him a look.  "Worked for me.  Better than the suddenly confessing people though.  That could've gotten pretty messy when the Chief's wife started."

"Pity, but next time don't come after me and mine."

"Oh, I think he learned that lesson very well," Ryan assured him with a smirk.  "Even Willow thought the rash was cuter than the babbling people.  Confessions can be reversed if they're not taped you know."  He nodded at that.  "But hey, only fifteen people total, including the Chief's wife, and most everyone decided they were petty assholes who needed to get a life.  I haven't heard anything about the patrol guys going against Horatio for this.  Most of them support him for this.  Then again, they also all knew that you and Don went out last night.  Most of them knew he was your uncle and that was being spread back.  Horatio might get a few questions about that but it should be okay by the time he can come back."

"Good.  Thank you, Ryan."  He leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. "You're a good bestest buddy."  Ryan grinned at that.  Xander stood up then cramped again.  "I hate those."

"That's stress," Speed said, pulling him into his lap to hold, whispering in his ear.  Xander shook his head so Speed said something else, getting a moan and a nod.  "Then go back there and check on him.  It'll be okay."  Xander trudged back up the beach.  "It's worry about people coming after them again.  Someone call Mac and make sure Xander's eating."

"He will be," Danny offered, coming up onto the porch.  "Don's making sure of it."  He grinned. "Hi, guys.  We all suspended?"

"The whole lab so they can do a case review and hunt out any other idiots who want to try for Horatio," Ryan said dryly.  "Any luck?"

"Two new up the chain.  Stella took four patrol officers down to a mafia bar and went in there to ask questions.  Said this was pissing off multiple people, including the people in the military and the FBI.  Someone told her where to go, and someone else then told her who to go see after that one got hit by her.  My girl's feisty and mean when she wants to be."

Speed smirked.  "Good for her.  Hopefully it helped her temper?"

"Nope," Danny noted dryly, taking a free bench by the railing.  "Not a bit.  She's still in a snit.  Montana's in a bad mood still too."

"Good," Eric agreed dryly.  "If we had known, we wouldn't have kept it from Horatio or Xander."

"You guys didn't know at all?" Danny asked.   They all shook their heads.  "Who did?"

"Some guy named Ian in IAB," Calleigh said dryly.  She looked at Speed, who grinned.  "You weren't here for Horatio's birthday but it slipped out that he messed up with my birth control."

Danny squealed and hugged her.  "Ooooh!  I'm so happy!"  She smiled at him.  "Are you going to let Xander do your nursery?" he teased.

"Nope.  Or Speed either."  Eric laughed at that.  "Did you see what your sister did?"

"Yup.  Helped Mac fix it while Xander was gone yesterday.  It's pretty but kinda older than I'd expect in a nursery."

"Yeah, but this is Xander," Speed said patiently.  "Marisol say anything about names?"

"She's making a list to bring to Horatio.  Right now she likes Tia."

"I like Tia," Calleigh agreed, looking at him. "You're going to fight me on that, aren't you?"

"As long as it's a nice, normal name?  No."

"Okay.  Good. You won't want one of those strange and unusual, supposedly unique names."

"No, I'm all for normal names that the press can spell right when they get their Nobel Prize."  She swatted him.  "They will have one!"

"If you say so."  She rolled her eyes.  "Why did I take up with you again?"

"Hmm, great sex?" he suggested. "Even better backrubs?  I can cook?"

"Well, yeah," she sighed, shaking her head.  Eric and Danny both snickered at that.  "He can cook very well."

"We make him cook for Xander all the time," Eric agreed dryly.  "We don't want food poisoning."

Di looked at her son, then at him.  "We're hoping your mother can teach our son better."

"She's trying," he promised.  "Really hard."  Then he giggled.  "Isn't he about old enough to teach how to swim?"

"Xander said three.  That's in another few weeks."

"Hey, Eric, want to join Uncle Eric in the pool?"  The baby gave him an awwed look.  "Come on.  We'll even call daddy back."  The baby squealed and came over to drag him down there.  "Someone call the other kid."

Speed called. "Eric said we're teaching your son how to swim.  Let Horatio out of bed and come up here.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "He's feeding Horatio his breakfast."

"That'll stop," Danny noted patiently.  Xander ran up the beach and dove in, making them all smile and little Eric clap.  Bigger Eric splashed him.

"Too far back to dive, you could've hurt yourself!"

"Yes, mom.  Okay, Eric, let's teach you how to swim.  First, let's start with *floating*."  Eric beamed and nodded, holding out his arms to him.  He and Eric got them between him.  "Relax.  The water will hold you up.  I promise it will.  Just lay still and watch the pretty clouds."  Eric went limp in their arms and took right to it. "Good job!  Horatio, come see him float!"

Horatio sat on the side of the pool, letting his feet and ankles get wet while he took a picture.  "That's a very good job, Eric."  Eric beamed at him and flipped over.  Eric grabbed his stomach.  "Paddle like Percy does when he swims.  Kick your feet too. You can get over to me for a hug."  Xander moved his arms properly and the boy got it, swimming over.  "Good job!"  He took a picture then picked him up to cuddle when he got close enough.  "Excellent job, Eric!"  Eric beamed at him, then his mother, then his father and uncle.  "Now, go back to Daddy."  He put him back into the water and watched him go back.

"This'll be the one we send to the olympics," Eric told Xander, who smiled and nodded, catching his son to cuddle.  "Now, Eric, you know you don't go into the pool unless there's an adult in here, right?"  He nodded, that had been drilled into him since he had been old enough to move.  "Good.  Now, float for me."  Eric floated and grinned, kicking a bit.  Xander rolled onto his back.  Eric caught the boy.  "Watch daddy swim.  Xander, do the other back stroke.  The one you say looks like a squid moving."  Xander moved that way and Eric moaned in pleasure.  "Think you can do that?"  He put him onto his back, holding him there until he was floating properly.  "Okay, do this with your arms," he ordered, moving them properly, then his legs.  "Just like that."  Eric tried it.  "At the same time.  Arms and legs together."  Eric tried it again, getting it after a few tries.  His daddy caught him and turned him around to send him back from the deeper water.  "Good job!" he praised, smiling down at him.  "Go ahead and swim around us.  Or go get Grandpa Speed down here."  He helped him out and the baby ran for Speed, dragging him down to the pool so he had another person to swim to.  He grinned at Xander.  "We'll have a lot of fun coaching him."

"We will."  Xander came closer again.  "Eric, I'm worried."

"I know you are. You always worry right before the big meets.  You had a massive case of cramps for a week before State."  He patted him on the back. "If you do what you did today, you'll have it, Xander. If not, then you won't.  Remember, this year there's no higher competition.  Next year is a World Games year and the one after that is the Olympics.  This year is the best year for you to try yourself if you don't want to go all the way."  Xander nodded, hugging him.  "It'll be okay.  We'll be there with you at Nationals.  Then we'll work on next year together if you want.  I'd like to make it back to State at least."  Xander grinned at that.  "I'd like to make it to the World Games but I know I'm about eight years older than everyone else who'll be at Nationals this year.  But that one, we'll be sending him.  He can study for the Nobel like his grandfather wants while he swims."  Xander giggled and nodded.  "So, you do what you can, Xander.  You've already made it past me.  Do your best.  You know how good you are and you know we won't be disappointed, even if you come in eightieth at Nationals.  It's a great thing to make it there."  Xander nodded, relaxing.  "No more cramps?"

"Not as many."

"Uh-huh.  The rest are probably hunger.  Go eat."

"Eric eat?" Eric asked from where he was swimming circles around his grandfather.

"Sure, we'll go eat," Xander promised, plucking him out of the water and out of the pool, going into the kitchen to make them something for breakfast.  "Anyone else want anything?"

"NO!" everyone shouted. "No cooking, Xander!"

Taylor and Mac went in there to save the baby and make snacks for everyone else.  He and the baby were already nibbling on some of the redone jerky, the stuff that didn't mess up tests.

"Xander, if you're eating jerky, bring me some," Horatio called.  Ryan moaned at that.  "He redid the recipe so it's safe and won't react to any test.  He had me check."  Xander brought him out a piece of jerky and helped him back to the table, then went back to making him and his son breakfast.  He nibbled and looked at Di.  "I'll need him to create an entrance on the other end as well, but I don't see a problem with it," he offered.  "Market value or were you going to give him more?"

She squealed and hugged him.  "I love you, Horatio!  Honey, he said we can buy the house from him!" she yelled.  Taylor squealed and came out to hug him too.  "We love you!"

"We'll remember that if they need a third baby," Eric teased.  "So, are you keeping the bedroom?"

"I like the bedroom," Taylor defended.  "It's very comfortable and soothing."  Di sighed and nodded, accepting that.  "You don't like it?"

"Not really.  It's kinda squishy and soft.  Can we at least change out the mattress?"  She nodded.  "Thank you."

"What did you think of his nursery, Taylor?" Calleigh asked.

"I adored it!  It's a beautiful room!  A bit older, I'd have put it for a six-year-old or better, but I love it.  We're redoing Eric's room together."  She smiled proudly.  "Xander likes how I decorate things."  Xander came out to give her a hug.  "I know, Marisol was being fussy."  He nodded, going back inside.  "Hey, Eric, how did you want to repaint your room, little man?"

"Sweaty, eww!" he complained loudly.

"Sweetie, I'll paint," she promised.  He relented at that.  "We'll go look at paint colors this afternoon and pictures to see if you want pictures like your sister will have."

"Sister?" Eric asked.  Horatio nodded, smirking slightly.  "Cool.  I'll help make sure she doesn't turn into that warrior wench that he watches now and then on tv."

"Xena never takes a bath and only fishes.  I want a better role model for my future amazon, Eric," Xander called from inside.  Calleigh giggled at that.  He came to the door.  "Oh, Di, if we store Eric's old leathers and suede outfit in a keepsake box, can you make the new baby some?"  She smiled and nodded.  "Thanks."  He went back to the kitchen.  He came out with two plates, handing his son the smaller one.  "Honey, Melody wanted you there at the polo match today when she chewed me a new one for being rude to the DJ this morning."

"As long as I can sit," he promised, smiling at him.  "Thank you for finally eating."  He looked at Mac when he came out.  "I had most of his.  He doesn't eat when he's nervous or upset."

"I've noticed.  I figured he'd feed you most of it anyway.  You need food to heal from wounds like that."  He smiled as Don tromped up the beach.  "Did the phone wake you?"

"Yup.  Melody is pushy, Xander.  We're eating with her and Isabel?"

"I adore Isabel and her daughter wants to date Ray Jr."  He looked at Sr.  "She's a very nice and sweet girl who wants to do more than sit on her ass and play with her money."

"Good.  I like that. You can pull him out of school.  He's being terminally bored this week."  Xander called him and told him that, getting a nod.  "Thanks, kiddo.  It's nice that my son will quit being such a slut."

Horatio looked at him.  "Should I remind you of your senior year, Ray?"

"No," he admitted, grimacing.  "I still have the flashbacks."  Horatio laughed at that, holding his shoulder with a grimace. "Time for more meds?"

"Please. Xander, how did you do a wound there without pain killers?"

"Higher pain tolerance, baby."  He kissed him and grinned.  "You're such a cute little one," he cooed.  Horatio grimaced and patted him on the head.  "I promise, it'll quit hurting in about a week."

"Hopefully."  He looked at the rest of his crew.  "Suspension?"  Everyone nodded.  "Why?"

"Two of night shift," Calleigh said dryly.  "They're doing reviews and things.  We turned control over to the non-felony lab.  They'll gather, process, and hand it back when they're done."

"That's fine."  He snuck a piece of toast, smiling because there wasn't much chance of Xander messing up toast.  The baby pouted at him. "I can borrow off his plate.  He lets me."

"Daddy need food, like Eric."

"Ask Uncle Mac to get you some more since he's in there."  Eric nodded, going to do that, even bringing his plate.  He smiled.  "He's very polite for a toddler.  Are we bringing him?"

"Should we?" Xander asked him.  "With the last few days?"

Horatio considered it, then shrugged.  "I'd say there's no more chance today than any other day, Xander.  Mac?"  He came to the doorway.  "Any word from Stella?"

"She went to a mafia bar last night and roughed up someone who told her off," Danny offered dryly. "Another one told her where to go to get some better information since it wasn't the bigger boys.  They told her they don't mess with cops unless it's very necessary."

"Someone learned it was stupid I guess," Don said dryly.  "Hey, Mac, can I have some toast too?"  He got a nod and a smirk.  "Why do I have to go to the polo match?"

"Because everyone decided I was cheating with you last night."

"Ah.  Wonderful.  Fine."  He accepted his plate and the baby back into his lap.  "You're still wet.  Were you in the pool?"

"Eric swim," he said with an awed voice. "Uncle Eric and daddy teach Eric."

"I'm so proud!" he cooed, giving him a cuddle.  "Now, remember, you can't go in unless there's an adult in there with you."  He nodded, digging back in.  "Good boy!"

"He generally is," Ryan admitted.  "I'm starting to think my son's the bad influence since they only get into trouble when they're together."  Bigger Eric snorted and shook his head.  "My squirt dyed your brother's dog with your sister's hair dye."

"Eric hides it better," Speed said.

"A lot better."  The front door slammed. "Who're we missing?"

"That was an angry Willow," Ryan said, looking back into the house. "We're out here.  What did he do?"

"He decided to feed the fish vinegar."

"I'll buy you new fish," he soothed, putting her into his lap to cuddle.  "Where is the son?"

"In the car."  Bigger Eric went to get the kids and bring them inside while she calmed down. "I'm sorry but they're being unholy terrors and I'm feeling the need to slay today."

"I understand."  He stroked her back, making her relax.  "It'll be okay.  I'll watch Toddy today and you take Liz."  She relaxed and nodded against his shoulder. "I'm going with Xander to the polo match.  He and Eric can sit there and chatter about the ponies."

Eric looked at him, then at his father.  "Horsies with sticks?"  Xander nodded. "Cool!  Stomp in poo again!" he said happily, going back to his snack.

Horatio shook his head but he was smiling.  Their kids were adorable most of the time.

***

Melody looked up as Horatio walked into their tent and was sat down by Xander.  "Oh, dear, you didn't have to come out of bed, Horatio!"

"With what they were saying earlier, yes I did."  He gave her a look.  "You know very well Xander won't ever cheat on me, Melody."  She grimaced and nodded, waving a hand around.  "They know that too, it's just too cute not to say something."  He accepted both boys into his lap.  "This is Todd Wolfe.  Judge Ryan Wolfe's older child.  He's attending with us today but he's got the picnic basket since Xander bought way too much food for just us."  She smiled at that.  "And I'm staying here."

"That's fine, dear.  Where's Don?"

"He got waylaid by someone from up there who was cooing at him."  She and the woman beside her laughed.  "Isabel, it's a pleasure to see you again."

"You as well, Horatio. How are you feeling?"

"Sore.  Very sore.  It's time for another dose though so I may nap through the match."  He smiled. "Ray came with us today.  He was bored in class and Xander talked him into skipping."

"Hmm, I was wondering why my daughter asked me to call to say she could leave."  She smiled as Ray and her daughter came in.  "Awww, you two do know each other."

"Yes, mother.  Mom, have you met Ray Caine?"

"I have.  Ray, dear."  She got up and kissed him on the cheek.  "You're adorable today."

"Thank you."  He smiled at her, then at her daughter.  "We're going to do the obligatory social rounds if no one minds?"

"Take Ryan with you," Don ordered as he joined them.  Ray nodded, taking Ryan and Xander with him.  He kissed Isabel on the cheek. "Hi, Izzy."  She giggled and swatted him.  "Did anyone actually believe that Xander would cheat on Horatio?  Especially with my straight butt?"  He sat down and took the kids.  "You two stay in this tent.  You move outta here and I get to sit on time out and it'll mean no playing in the pool, Eric, and no destroying things, Toddy."  They pouted but slid down to play in the grass.  "Thank you."  He grinned at the mothers.  "Eric learned how to swim this morning."  He nudged Horatio and handed over his pill.  "Here, yours."  He dug into the basket and handed over a bottle of water too.

"Thank you.  I needed this."   He swallowed it and sipped the water. "Eric, I don't care if they're pretty and hanging out of their skirts, you do not stare at women that way.  It's not how a good man acts."  Eric quit staring at the butt in front of him.  He looked at Melody, who coughed and the young woman moved and pulled back down her skirt. "Thank you."  He finished his water, smiling as his mate came back.  "The kids took Ryan with them."

"I've already said hi to the ones I like and the ones I should have.  I don't usually make the full social rounds, especially not with the kids here and you injured."  He opened the picnic basket and started to put things out. "Don decided we needed usual picnic stuff but we brought enough for you two and the kids," he offered with a grin.

"That's very nice, Xander.  Now, you swore at the DJ?" Melody asked patiently.

"You woke me up."  He pouted.  "Besides, everyone knows I'd never cheat on Horatio.  They're looking for tabloid sales."

"They probably are," she agreed dryly.  "Still, no swearing. It's something that can give you a bad reputation."

"Some people deserve it," Don offered dryly.

"True, but we try to keep him on the positive side of the social strata, Don.  Now, tell me what's going on?"

"No one told us, but there's been a hit out on me for over three years," Horatio offered.  They gasped.  "They're searching out the links right now. Us being here lets everyone go be cops instead of trying to keep Xander calm."

"I noticed the bruising," Isabel offered.  "What happened, Xander?"

"I went and got into a fight to wear it out.  After yesterday I was in such a violent mood I nearly shoved Horatio away from me to protect him."  He fussed a few more things into place on the table.  "Oh, Eric has a soy and a crab allergy.  We found the other one during Horatio's birthday."

"I'll make sure he doesn't eat my crab croquettes," Isabel offered, staring at him.  "What happened yesterday, Xander?"

He sat down and hugged his mate, then looked at her.  "Someone decided to protest our marriage by putting a capture at all costs order into the system for me.  They issued fake arrest warrants and everything. I was working with IAB about the assassins and stuff and he shielded me when the first fake warrant came out.  They burst into his office with guns drawn and I nearly shot a few of them."  Horatio cuddled him closer.  "I'm sorry, honey."

"I'm not.  Phil kept me informed through Mac.  I'm just glad you're all right."  He kissed him on the top of the head.  "It'll be okay.  I promise it will be.  They're all gone and fifteen officers getting caught in the conspiracy means that others will think at least twice before they try," he soothed.

"Oh, dear," Isabel sighed, looking at Melody.  "Horatio, I hate to mention this, but your personal vehicle was spotted...."

He held up a hand.  "My birthday present, ladies.  He rented out the club he used to work at and did a special dance for me, fed me dinner, and had my gifts down there.  It reminded me of how we met."  They smiled at that.  "It was a very special night."

"So special he was sore the next few days," Don shared, making them both giggle and blush.  "There's a reason why my nephew drew serial killers like that.  Horatio couldn't walk the next morning either."  Horatio coughed and looked down, seeing the small grin from his mate.  He kissed him gently.  "Anyway, it's all good.  We're handling the contract stuff and I'm here as his guard and to be shown that I'm straight."

Isabel smiled.  "If I was a bit younger and single, Don."

"I know and I wouldn't hesitate to tip you over, Izzy, but you're married."  She blushed brighter at that.  "Hey, Xander's happy with an older guy.  Gotta be a reason for that.  I figure an older lady's still got some life left in her too."  He smirked at her and she went bright red.  "So, what's this I hear about another one of you ladies being mad because Xander did what he was supposed to do?"

"Rebecca's calmed down," Melody assured him.  "What he gave to her said very strongly that it was at the lesser levels of the bank and that he wasn't involved but he did start his own investigation through the Board.  He was not a happy man.  Xander, dear, I do know where I would suggest if you're going to move your funds around."  He nodded at that, smiling from his comfy spot.  "Boys!" she called.  The two toddlers came back, frowning at her.  "I do believe you were ordered to stay with us."

"Eric go Ray," Eric whined.

Xander looked at him. "He'll be back in a few minutes.  You can drool on his girlfriend then."  He grinned at his son.  "You know, Auntie Isabel is her mommy, Eric."  He scrambled into her lap to hug her and tell her how pretty her daughter was.  He pulled Todd into his.  "Hi, Toddy."  He grinned at him.  "No horsies yet?"

"They're being checked over," Ray said as he led Candace back in.  "Is he still drooling over my new girlfriend?"  Xander nodded.  "Eric, real men don't have to poach other's girls.  You can get your own."

"But she pretty and snuggly."

"Son, I promise, when you're old enough you'll have all the pretty and snuggly ones you want," Horatio said blandly.  His son beamed at him for that.  "Let Ray have his own."

"Yes, Daddy 'Oro'."  He snuggled in, grinning at the older woman.  "Hi."

"Hello, Eric.  I don't mind a good cuddle."  He snuggled in and got comfy, oohing at the horses as they came out.  "Toddy, look," she offered, pointing.

He looked and his eyes went wide.  "Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh!" he squealed, bouncing and pointing.  "Ooooh!"

"Yeah, horsies," Xander said in his ear.  "Calm down."  He smiled at Ryan as he came back with a follower.  "He likes horsies."

"I can tell."  He nodded politely at the ladies.  "Hi.  Ryan Wolfe."  He shook their hands and tweaked Eric's ear.  "Trying for an older woman?"  Eric just smirked and nuzzled his cheek against her shoulder. "He's a horrible flirt, he flirts with my wife all the time too."  He picked his son up.  "We're going to look at the reserve horses.  Eric?"  He slid down with a smile to his seat, then took his hand to walk off, talking with the person who had followed.  "I'm sure you've seen Eric before but this is my older child, Todd.  My wife's feeling overloaded today so she's got his little sister Liz."

"You're adorable," she said, smiling at Todd.  Who just smiled and nodded.  "And I see Eric's taught you that response too."

Ryan shook his head.  "Xander teaches all of them the same things."  She giggled at that.  "Seriously.  Any kid around Xander is like his own kids."

"How is Marisol?  We haven't seen her in a few days."

"She's doing fine the last I knew.  I saw her brother this morning for breakfast.  She and Xander got into it over the nursery.  They came down to an agreement of he's got his at his house and she'll have the other one."  She laughed at that.  "Xander's got a beautiful nursery.  Gold accents over a purple wall, with a gold and white unicorn and dragon mural.  Golden oak stained crib.  He even found gold and white unicorn and dragon sheet sets."  She smiled at that.  "The baby's going to be so spoiled."

"I'd hope so.  I know he spoils Eric horribly."

"Eric learn how to swim today," he said proudly.

"Congratulations, Eric," she cooed, patting him on the head.  They came up to the polo pony lines and she let them pet her husband's.  "I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun on the bench, Ryan.  If you need any help, feel free to go to my husband.  He's been there through most everything that's gone on."  He nodded at that. "How is Willow adjusting?"

"Willow's decided that she's going to be herself and if you don't like her she doesn't care.  She'll be socially polite for my career but she's who she is.  That's one of the things I admire about my girl."

"I'm glad.  How old is she?"

"She's Xander's best friend."

"Ooh, the redhead?"  He nodded, smiling at that.  "She's adorable.  We saw her while she was pregnant.  Xander took her shopping and to the gym a few times."

"Horatio doesn't like him to go alone to places with how some people keep trying to stalk him.  It's a reasonable worry."  He let Toddy pet the horse, and the baby cooed at it.  "That's a horse.  When you're older, we'll see about going riding with mommy.  I bet she likes horses."  Xander snuck up and tickled him, making him swat at him. "Quit!"

"Sorry," he said with an evil smirk.  "Horatio made me come play."  He patted the horse on the shoulder.  "You're very pretty, miss polo pony."

Eric frowned at him.  "Girl horse?"  Xander nodded.  "Oh."  He looked at the other lady.  "All girl horses?"

"No, they're not all female horses, dear.  Don't you like mares?"  He looked confused.

"Girl horses are mares," Xander told him.

Eric smiled and nodded. "Like mares, but boys always better.  Boys like Eric."

"That's true, you're quite a boy," she agreed, letting him pet one of the geldings on the string.  "That's a boy horse."  He patted him and cooed at him, letting Toddy help him.  She looked at Xander.  "I've noticed his hatred of pronouns."

"So have we.  He knows what they are.  He uses them with Taylor, his other mommy.  With the rest of us he doesn't."  He shrugged. "I figured it's a phase."

"It probably is then."  She smiled at the boys and Ryan, who was helping.  "They're very sweet children.  You, Horatio, and Ryan are doing a good job of making Toddy into Eric."

"Thanks, but he only fed his mommy's fish vinegar this morning.  Even though he dyed Marisol's brother-in-law's dog, he's got a way to go before he reaches Eric's version of evil."  She laughed at that, leaning on Ryan's shoulder.  "He's younger so he'll catch up."  He picked up the boys, letting them pet the nose instead.  "Gently, Toddy.  Very gently."  He stroked like Xander showed him.  "There, good boy."  He smiled at them.  "Want to come with me or Unclie Ryan?"

"Unclie Ry," Eric said promptly.  "More snuggly and pretty that way."

"No picking up girls, son. You're too young to appreciate what they're offering."

"I don't know, he seems to appreciate Stella," Ryan muttered, making Xander laugh.

"We've noticed Eric's attraction to certain areas."

"First time he met Calleigh, he snuggled in and sighed in pleasure.  He was barely walking then," Ryan told her, making her laugh and lean on him again.  "Come on, let me have the boys.  They'll be fine with me, Xander."

"Fine.  Can I go steal Liz?"

"No, you can have Liz tomorrow."  He rolled his eyes and looked at the maven beside him.  "He steals my kids all the time, he's horrible about giving them back.  We've went two or three days without having the kids at home.  Di had to move closer to him so she got her son back more often because he steals him for weeks at a time."

"I told her I was going to be an active dad," Xander said dryly, giving the horse one last pet.  "Do you think Horatio could go riding late next week?"

"If he can stand the jiggling of the wound," Ryan agreed.  "Ask him then."  Xander beamed and hugged him and the boys, then bounced back to their tent.  "He's in hyper fuss mode," he shared.

"I'd expect that with Horatio being injured."

"Shoulder wound.  Annoying and painful but he'll be fine with some mild physical therapy."  He followed her on.  Todd started to sniffle.  "You can visit the horses later and pat the ones that're coming off the field."  That dried them up.  "Maybe you'll be a vet instead of an engineer.  Oh, he likes to rip electronic things apart.  Fair warning."

"I'll keep my camera away from him," she assured him.

***

Xander led Horatio back inside, letting Don and Ryan get the kids.  He tucked Horatio into bed then headed to get them some water since everyone seemed to be on their porch.  He walked out, following the pouting toddlers.  "If we can get enough adults, I'll take you guys where Horatio takes me riding," he promised.  "Ask everyone."  Toddy turned a sniffling, tear-streaked face on them, making most of them melt.  "Toddy tried to get out and play with the horses on the field twice today."  Ryan grimaced but nodded.  Willow glared at Ryan.  "He wasn't in any danger.  There were a lot of other kids there," he promised.  He flopped down next to Speed.  "Hi."

"Hi.  Get it all solved?"

"Polo is like a tailgating party but it's got a lot more polite people and a lot less drunks, but not all of them," Don said dryly.  "Three of them came up to hit on me.  At least two of them were women but still trashed.  Fortunately the other ladies all got them off me and one of the matrons from New York decided to take me under her wing."

"That's how I got introduced," Xander admitted.  "I had to go to a benefit that Patrick had already agreed to go to.  One of them noticed I was incredibly nervous and hanging onto the wall.  She brought me out and got the whole story out of me then decided I needed a grandmother too.  She was very nice to me."  He took another drink.  "Anything new?"

"A bit," Mac admitted.  "But it's stuff Horatio should hear first."

"He's not asleep.  Just tired."  Mac nodded, going to talk to him.  He looked at Danny.  "When he was in New York?"  That got a nod.  "Mafia related or a past like yours?"

"Mafia related.  He dated someone's daughter and they're swearing up and down that he soiled her.  Her husband divorced her because of it and the upset father did it," he admitted.  "Without going into details, it was messy."

Xander sighed and nodded.  "That happens to others too I guess.  Oh, I got named in two more divorces since you guys last heard.  One a society divorce.  Apparently her husband wanted me and she was upset at that, even though she knew I'd never cheat.  Rebecca's husband is starting his own investigation into what's going on at the bank.  She's forgiven me for going to the SEC about that stuff.  And Isabel's daughter Candace and Ray Jr. make an adorable couple."  Todd climbed into his lap so he let him have some of his water.  "Why don't you and Eric go nap on the couch, little guy?"  He nodded, going to make his friend quit sleeping on the bench and nap with him inside, where it was air conditioned.  He shrugged.  "They wore themselves out petting the horses and stomping down the grass later."

"Eric also taught him how much fun hopping up and down in a pile of crap was," Ryan noted dryly, looking at him.

"Yeah, he's a toddler, Ryan, they're like that," Xander assured him, getting a sigh and a head shake.  "At least I reminded you to pick up spare clothes for him."

"You did.  Thank you, Xander."

Calleigh giggled. "Sounds like most of you had fun at the match.  Didn't you have fun, Ryan?"

"I had a lot of fun.  Judge Ratser's wife was there and she walked me around to introduce me to everyone I should know.  Oh, Xander, you missed Bess and Mrs. Train's tent?"

"I said hi to them after halftime."  He shrugged.  "I don't usually do the full social rounds.  They don't like me anyway.  They put up with me.  Mrs. Train family has been society since Boston was formed.  Bess has been the steel rod of the local society since she was thirteen and her family formed Miami society back when Miami was formed. Both their husbands come from families that've been in society for at least five generations on both sides of their grandparents.  Those two, their husbands, and Mrs. Yearns are all the trio of dragons at the head of the world.  They say who's acceptable and not.  Mrs. Yearns thinks I'm adorable and a quaint choice but she understood that Patrick was my grandfather and that made me acceptable enough, as long as I don't go near any of the good families.  I pointed out I had Horatio and she relaxed and said it was fine, I could hang out at my level since gay people weren't allowed at her level anyway."  He smirked at that.  "Mrs. Ratser is up closer to them.  I've seen her correct Bess on a fashion point recently."  He saluted him with his water.  "She's a good choice."

"Thanks.  Willow, she said she understands that you might not be comfortable but we can both come to her for any questions about social things.  Including if you need help shopping for the first few."  She grimaced but nodded.  "I've got to do a few a year."

"The whole family does the Children's Hospital charity dinner," Xander reminded him. "Even Eric this year."

"Marisol looked wonderful when she went," Eric agreed happily.  "I think Ray called off due to geometry."  Xander nodded.  "Did anyone ask about her?"

"A lot.  They all asked how she was and how the baby was.  They hoped it was going well and that she have an easy labor if they didn't see her before then.  We've got a lot of the older matrons who believe that you go into seclusion once you start showing.  They said it's perfectly understandable that she's cutting back being on my arm, especially since Horatio's not working due to injury at the moment.  They all came over to see how he was doing since he stayed sitting down the whole time."

"Xander also tried to feed a few of them," Ryan admitted.

"Of course I did.  I'm in the fussy people group.  I'm expected to make some of them eat."

Ryan grinned.  "Don't do it to me, okay? I can't eat more than your jerky."

"You'd be surprised.  You ate my eggs this morning."  Ryan blinked at that.  "Side effect of the jerky, Ryan."

"As long as he doesn't quit taking pain killers like you do when you get hurt," Willow noted dryly.  Xander just smiled.  "Is the new stuff as spicy?"

"Nope.  It's a lot more mild.  You could even eat some I'd assume."  She went to get some from the kitchen, making Ryan take most of the piece on her.  "If that came from the blue bag," he noted when they were done, "it's probably going to give you a higher horniness quotient.  It did Horatio."  Ryan swallowed and looked at his wife, who blushed.  "Just not on our bed, guys.  Okay?"  They nodded, cuddling up together.  Ryan pulled her up and sat her in his lap, cuddling with her.  "Where did she say to show up next time, Ryan?"

"Bess's next dinner.  It'll be right after I'm sworn in."

Xander nodded.  "I don't have to go to many of those.  I mostly do the charity circuit and those things. Have fun.  Use excellent table manners.  She heaps praise on those socially who do, but she made my life a living hell for a week because I drank while I had food in my mouth."  That got a wise nod.  "Make sure it's not a formal thing.  If it is, I'll take you where I got Horatio's tux and let them do you too."

"Thanks, Xander.  I noticed a lot of the women around you and Horatio were younger and wives."

"I'm seen as a safe person to leave your wife around.  I'll protect them if something happens and all the husbands know I'm gay. They can't get jealous plus I listen to the women when they talk about things like money management.  I've learned a lot about money management from them."  That got a smirk.  "I learn when they're chatting about it.  That's how I knew how to cure Toddy's crayon eating habit too.  One's granddaughter had done that recently."

"Thanks.  Seeing the lime green diapers were really upsetting," Willow offered.

"Tell me about it."  He shrugged and grinned.  "Different strata but I reserve the right to taunt you in public and make you laugh again."

"Fine."  He smirked at him then at his wife.  "I met a lot of very nice people today thanks to Xander and Emily."

"Good.  I can hang on the wall and not speak, right?"  He nodded.  "You're sure?"

"I told her you had a terminal case of shyness.  She said to walk you around on my arm and make sure everyone saw you sheltering in me.  The more wise would see you were shy and the others would know I'm possessive and protective.  That and to make Xander bring you to a luncheon soon.  That it'd be less stressful and you could meet some of them that way since there'd be fewer of them."

"That or the spa," Xander agreed.  "Let's see.  I think my next luncheon is the Library's and it's in three weeks," he sighed.  "No, that's the week of Nationals and I called off all those already.  Let me get my book."  He went to get his social book from the office, flipping through it as he came back out.  "Ah, I couldn't beg off the library one.  I'm presenting an award to the librarian of the year."  He sat down again, looking at Willow.  "That'll have about a hundred wives and a few husbands there.  It'll be catered with semi- decent food at the very worst.  Usually the people the library uses are pretty good.  Horatio likes me to bring him lunch from those.  It's for the library and their support."  She smiled at that.  "I've already accepted for myself and probably a date.  I'll call Bess tonight since she heads that one and tell her I'm bringing you."  She nodded.  "We can keep each other from bouncing since I'll be flying out two days later."  She nodded, smiling at that.  "You'll need something tea-partyish.  Something demure and nice, but it'll be outside so hat nice.  I'll have to wear a suit and you know what colors I wear so you won't clash."  She nodded, stronger this time.

"Like her pink dress?" Ryan asked.

"That's more business suity than tea-partyish.  Something like the white dress with the sleeves but more demure.  I'll take her with me, Ryan."  That got a nod and a smile.  "It'll be fine.  If I get stuck, I call Melody.  Mrs. Ratser's on that board too if I remember right so it'll be a nice way for you to meet them as well."  He found his phone and called Melody.  "Are you pouting?" he asked dryly in greeting.  "Nope, Ryan and I were talking to his wife.  Yup, her.  I was thinking the library board one.  It's two days before I fly out for Nationals."  He groaned and held his head.  "Melody, I'm going.  I don't care if she doesn't like it.  This is my sport.  I may like polo but I'm only now learning how to ride.  I like swimming.  It's good for me.  I'm going to National's.  Well, you can soothe her with the point that this isn't a year when I'd go to a higher level event out of the country then."  He growled. "Melody, this is not the battle you want," he warned.  "I'm not giving up my sports.  Yeah, and it gives me something to do."  He calmed himself.  "You can tell her I don't care if you want.  If not, you can couch it in politer terms.  Thanks."   He hung up. "Probably not the best of all ideas for you to go with me at the moment.  I'll let Ryan go that day in my place.  Or Ray since he'll be off school.  That way he can take you."  She relaxed and nodded.  "It's not a polite society sport," he mimicked.

Eric patted him on the arm.  "You can't live by their opinion, Xander.  Do what makes you happy."

"I do most of the time.  You know what."  He called the other number.  "Hi, this is Xander Harris.  No, I'm going to have to call off the dinner on the twelfth.  No, I'll just be back from Nationals and coming down off my high, even if I don't win.  So my husband and I are planning on celebrating that night."  He smiled. "Swimming and diving actually.  Yup, that's me.  I've heard.  I don't care what others think about my hobbies, but I know.  Thank you for that.  I'll try to make the next event, Emily.  Oh, Melody's mad that I didn't give it up as well, so while I was going to take Willow Wolfe to the library thing, I'll let Ray go in my place and bring her.  That good with you?"  He smiled at her. "Thanks."  He hung up and leaned back.  "Ray, write a speech to present the Librarian of the Year award," he called.  "You're taking Willow!"

"Yay me," floated out from the office.  "Why?"

"Because I refuse to give up my swimming."

Ray came to the door.  "Can't they get someone else to give it?"

Xander shrugged.  "Not a clue.  Write one just in case.  It's that nice one that makes cookies."

"Sure.  That's a suit event.  I'll wear the green one.  Willow?"  She looked at him. "We'll go shopping together so you don't look bad."  He went back into the office.  "Xander, did your accounting teacher tell you this was okay?"

"Yeah.  I brought the books in and asked him if I was doing it right.  He said I was."

"That's fine.  I can understand this."  He looked over as the computer beeped a few minutes later.  "Mac!"  He came walking in.  "Message from the Chief."  He pointed at the screen and got out of the way.  The accounting project could be done on any flat surface.  Even outside.  He brought it out there, sitting at the table to go back to work.  "That was really cheap for the remodel, Xander."

"We used some of the stuff we already had," he said with a grin at the bigger Eric.  "Your daddy does really good work."

"He does."  He smirked. "Gym for practice since you didn't get to yesterday?"

"Aristotle so we can use the safety lines so you can show me stuff that I can press back into their faces?"

"Works for me."  They headed that way to do that.

Jr. stretched out, putting his feet into Xander's seat.  "I love being his assistant. It's like a soap opera every day."  They all laughed at that.  He looked up. "It is.  Oh, he needs his eyes checked.  Uncle H hasn't been able to enforce that one yet.  He needs reading glasses."

"We can fix that," Willow assured him.

Ray smirked. "I knew you were the evil one in the family."  She scowled.  "You're the only one who can go over the level of Xander-evil and make him do stuff."

"That sort of evil I'll claim. The other, not so much."

Ray shrugged.  "We've all got it in us, Willow.  It's a fact of human nature."  Speed looked and he gave his head a shove.  "Ask the guy.  This is only his shopping account.  The others have their own binders now."

"Why?" Calleigh asked.

Ray looked at her. "I get use of the car as long as I balance all the accounts and do the bill paying.  I used to have it all in one book but Xander's accounting teacher said he needed to keep them separately.  He's checked with his teacher as we switched it over and he told him that I've got his textbook to learn with him."  He shrugged and went back to it, having to get the calculator and come back.  "That's the last one I do.  That's the one he uses most of the time for shopping."  He did the addition and made one last notation, making it balance.  "That works."  He totaled it and closed the book after dating and initialing it.  "There, all done.  Another week with the car," he said happily.

"So, how is Candace?" Ryan asked.  "She seemed very nice."

"She is.  She wants to go to business school.  She's in my school, in my grade.   She knows about my former stress relief habit and asked me about it; I promised I wouldn't do those things when I was dating someone.  Though she did say she wanted an invite with a few friends if Di did another show this year.  She thinks the clothes are naughty but cute."  He looked at her.  "We've got to work on Xander's clothes again.  The guy he hit wasn't the only one who thought he was a ho at the station."

"I'll make sure he's got more decent stuff now and then," she assured him, patting him on the cheek.  "We'll see about a new show this year."  He grinned at that.  "It's good she appreciates you, Ray."

"She does.  She even realizes that I'm sponging off Xander for things like the car.  She said it's respectable that I'm working for him to gain the perks.  She's met Mom once and mom liked her."

"I liked her, she was sweet and gentle," Ray Sr. admitted. "I saw her when you two left the polo match, ran into her at the grocery store."  He looked at his son, who shrugged at that.  "Where did you two go?"

"Picnic on South Beach."  He leaned back again.  "She wanted to go.  She's not a big fan of polo.  We're going to the concert in a few days."  He looked at Di again.  "She said you made my butt look like marble in the blue leather pants."  Di beamed at that.  "She was thinking about sending you a thank you card for it."  He put everything back into the office and came out with the pitcher of tea.  "Here, drink, people.  It's hot out here."

"You fuss nearly as bad as Xander does," Di complained mildly.

"Yeah, and?  Who do you think I learned it from?"

"You were his prototype for what he's turning Eric into," Calleigh teased.

"Probably so, but it's netted me a pretty woman Toddy wanted to steal and Eric tried to claim.  It's netted me social connections that'll help no matter what field I go to in life.  I've already had a few different matrons asking me if I wanted personal letters of reference for college.  I've accepted a few of them with grateful babbling."

"You've got six letters sitting on your bed, son," Sr. noted patiently. "Your mother wants you to open them so she can have ice cream with you in celebration but she doesn't want you at Stanford. It's too far away."

"Yay.  It's a great school."  He shrugged and stood up.  "Let me do that and check the mail.  I'll be back."  He headed out, checking the car before heading home for a few minutes.  He ran into someone in there.  "And you would be?" he asked dryly, making them jump.  "Besides breaking and entering I mean?"  He called dispatch. "This is Detective Salas's son.  Someone's in our house.  Get here now before I have to hurt them."  He hung up and gave them a look.  "Why don't you sit down so we can chat?"  The person lunged at him and Ray pushed them back into a wall, knocking a few pictures down.  "Don't try that again. I've been taking lessons with Xander.  Baby!"  The dog came through the screen door, trailing his lead line.  He pounced the intruder, growling in his face. "Good dog, Baby.  Good boy."  Officers came up and he pointed at the guy.  "I only saw him but I didn't come in any further.  He tried to rush me and I shoved him into the wall. That's why the pictures are down.  Baby, sit!"  The dog sat and Ray led him to the couch, checking it before sitting down with him. "Good boy," he soothed. "Very good boy, Baby.  Very, very good boy."  The great dane laid down with his head in his boy's lap, getting adored for protecting him. "I want to know if this has to do with the contract out on my Uncle Horatio, someone to do with the regular people who go after Xander, or something else, guys.  We need to know."  They stared at him. "Seriously."

"You're Horatio Caine's nephew?" one asked.  Ray nodded.  "Crap.  Okay.  Your mother's on her way."

"That's fine.  Put him in an uncomfortable position.  I can walk you around to check for things out of place."  They nodded, cuffing him in the car and coming back in to help him look around. He found a few cameras and the mail on his bed was messed up. "My father would've stacked them," he noted patiently.  He grabbed a pair of gloves from his desk and flipped through them.  "One's open."  He looked at that letter, smirking.  "I got into Stanford."

"Ray!" his mother yelled from the doorway.

"My room, mom, and watch out for the cameras."  He came out and hugged her.  "I got into Stanford.  Someone opened it for me.  Do we have any baggies?"

"I'll get you once since most of your uncle's crew is probably at his house."  Ray nodded at that.  "You were?"

"Yup, it's my day to do the books over there."  He shrugged and put them all into the envelope she found for him.  "Thanks, mom.  Let me check the mail for today."

"Son, Stanford is a long way away," she pouted.

He smiled and kissed her on the cheek. "If I get in closer I'll go closer, mom.  I want to go to the best school I can."  He walked out to open the mailbox, finding a few new letters in there.  He brought them back in, handing the officers two, his mother the junk mail, and keeping the ones with his name on them. He opened the one for Xander and Eric's alma mater.  "Huh.  I didn't get into the local college."  His mother moaned.  "Sorry, mom."

She sighed.  "I had hopes."

"Me too.  That way I could earn a small salary working for Xander since he hinted he'd give me the car for graduation."  He opened the next one and held it up.  "Threatening letter."  They took that one carefully and it went into the envelope as well.  He opened the other one. "I got into FSU.  Oooh, and I got into the small, exclusive one here in the city," he said, holding that out to his mother.  "Really fucking expensive, Mom," he warned.  She looked at the cost of tuition listed and gasped.  "I warned you."

"You did, but that's your whole college fund, Ray."

"I know, mom."  He looked at her.  "They don't offer financial aid either.  They were pretty cheap to apply to, part of that you apply to one you get them all stack.  I don't remember if they had something I'd like though."   He opened the next one. "Ooh, and a letter saying that I'm a daddy, that the baby's two.  Gee, I was a virgin then."  He handed that one to his mother as well, grimacing.  "I kinda doubt it."  He opened the last one.  "Hmm, another from that stack.  Hey, mom, would you like Yale more?"

"It's still very far away," she protested gently.  He looked at her.  "But closer."  She pouted.  "I don't want you that far away, Raymond."  She kissed him on the head.  "We'll look at all your acceptances once they're all in."

He grinned.  "One was from Cambridge."

"There's no way you're going to England, son."  She rolled her eyes and went to help the officers search the house.  "Baby, quit drinking out of the toilet," she complained.

"Baby, come on, let's go see Uncle H and Xander."  Ray stood up, looking at the officers. "Need me?"

"Where did you find him, sir?"

"Doorway to the kitchen."

"Thank you for calling it in instead of killing him."

"Not like I had to.  He wasn't threatening my mother."  He shrugged and walked the evidence envelope and the dog out to the car, heading back there.  He walked in.  "Guys, someone was breaking into the house.  They put cameras up and rifled through my letters on my bed."  He handed the envelope to Danny.  "Mom's got the two threatening ones I found so far.  One told me I'm a daddy to a two-year-old."

"You hadn't had sex then," Don said, frowning at him.  "You only got up to New York a year and a half ago."

"Exactly."  He flopped down.  "Some of those are acceptance letters."  He grinned.  "I got into Stanford.  Didn't get into the local university that bigger Eric and Xander went to.  Got into FSU.  Got into Yale."  His father beamed at that.  "In the envelope is Cambridge, MIT, three other state schools and the one from Stanford that was opened for me."

"I'll do the fingerprints," Calleigh agreed, going to do that.

"Cameras?" Speed asked.  Ray nodded.  "Why?"

"Not a clue."  He looked at him.  "When you find the fucker, you'll tell me so we can both ask that question, Speed."

He smirked at that and nodded.  "Sounds like a plan to me."  He went to help her, Danny following.

"Who was it, Ray?" Sr. asked.

"Not a clue.  He tried to tackle me and I shoved him into the picture wall.  A few might need new frames."

"That's fine.  We can do that later," he agreed quietly. He patted the dog.  "Did you protect the boy?"

"Oh, yeah.  I called him, he broke the line out back and came in to pounce the guy and growl in his face.  He's a good boy."  Baby barked and came over to get more attention from his master.  "I love you.  You're a good boy."  The dog barked and settled in next to him to get some lovies.  He looked toward the main door as Eric walked Xander back in. "Gym full?"

"He threw his back."  He walked him into the bedroom, letting Horatio fuss over him, then came out.  "With the safety gear he twisted wrong.  Landed worse. He'll be fine in a few days."  He sat down and looked at him.  "I heard something about acceptance letters when I called your mom?"

"I didn't get into yours."

"Why not?"

"I have no idea.  I got into Yale and Stanford."  Eric blinked at that.  Ray grinned.  "I got into FSU and that really expensive private school too."

"They're a place rich kids go to get married."

"I know."

Speed came out with the letters, hugging him.  "I want my kid to have that many letters," he said proudly.  He went back to helping.

Ray looked.  Then he beamed and handed them to his father.  "I am The Man," he said proudly.  "MIT, Cambridge, the other college locally, and two others."  Eric grinned and punched him on the arm.  His father hugged him.  "Thanks, dad.  Get off."  His father walked off sniffling to call his wife.  Ray called his girlfriend. "I'm starting to gather acceptance letters."  He smiled at her.  "We'll compare, Candace.  Don't worry about it."  He blew a kiss.  "Have fun with your trim.  No, Xander threw his back learning a new dive.  Oh, we heard.  I think he told them to basically bite him over it.  Sure.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Candace is going to Nationals with us," he announced.  "She'll have her own room.  Her mother said it was fine."

Eric smirked at him.  "It's good to see that you're serious about one girl finally."

"I am.  I'll even try to go to school with her, or near her if I can't go with her."  He put his feet back up.  "Where's the gropey ones?"

"Napping in Eric's room. Todd said it was too noisy and drug him up there," Ryan admitted with a smile.  "Congrats, Ray."

"Thanks.  I'm going to have swelled head issues soon."  They all laughed at that.   His father came out and hugged him again.  "Get off!" he complained.  His father handed him a note and went back inside.  He looked then smirked.  "It's a hoax letter.  Mom called them personally.  The young woman in question never sent it."  Don smirked at him.  "So, now I have to figure out where I want to go.  Because mom will pout if I go too far away.  She's already said I can't go to Cambridge. She pouted about Yale and Stanford."

"What was your SAT?" Speed asked.

"Three points from 1600.  I also had a lot of credit on the 'after-school activities' and 'life studies' sections.  Plus I wrote one killer essay.  With that and the personal references I got?  I'm only surprised I didn't get into the local one Xander's going to."

"Me too," Eric admitted.  "Xander had crappy grades and he got in."

Speed came out.  "It wasn't on letterhead and it was printed on the same printer that did the hoax letter."  He smirked at him.  "They said letters are going out this week, Ray."  He smirked at Eric. "My boy did what?"

"A gainer and twisted his back."

"Huh?"

"A twisting and turning dive, he twisted wrong in the safety harness and yanked a muscle too hard.  He'll be fine in a few days."

"Okay."  He went to get them something to drink and go back to work.

Ray preened. "I am still *so* The Man."

Eric patted him on the shoulder.  "Brag when you've got them all in, Ray.  Then we'll see."  Ray nodded at that.

***

Horatio looked at the stack of letters his nephew handed him a week later, then at him.  "How many still have to come in?"

"Two.  I still didn't get into the school Xander went to.  They said I applied after the deadline."  He shrugged. "Anyway.  I thought I'd brag since I'm going to the University down here.  Candace wants to stay close to home as well.  We'll talk Masters somewhere else."  He sat on the foot of the bed. "Look, please.  Tell me I am The Man."  Horatio smirked but flipped through them, staring at him after a few.  "I teased about MIT but they're a great school."

"They are," he agreed, going back to them. "Cambridge too.  Your mother would pout all four years you'd be gone, Ray."

"I know.  But you know, you can start one place and then transfer to a more prestigious school for their diploma."

"You can but that's being a bit dishonest."

"Not if I tell them that."

"True."  He finished up and looked at him.  "I'm very proud."

"Thank you."  He beamed.  "Candace and I looked through all the different letters and we decided on Miami University because it's closer and it's got a decent business program for her, plus whatever I intend to take.  Even if we end up breaking up it's a big enough school that I shouldn't run into her randomly or I could head to one of the others as a transfer candidate."  Horatio nodded at that wisdom.  "Plus, I can afford MU."

"You can," he agreed,"but I don't think finances are going to be a problem, Ray."

"I know, but it's a consideration.  Especially since I'm not sure if I want to major in business stuff, Chemistry and Biology to do the lab stuff, or other stuff to help Xander."

"Whatever you decide to major in, we will be exceedingly proud of," Horatio assured him, pulling him closer to give him a hug.  "Good job, Ray."

"Thanks, Uncle Horatio."  He pulled back and smiled at him. "This means I can keep working for Xander and earn a small paycheck too."

"It does," he agreed happily.  "Plus your mother won't pout."

"True, she won't pout, but I'm living in the dorms."   Horatio smirked at that.  "Hey, this way I don't have to listen to her grill Candace about everything.  Though, it's scary, they get along really well, Uncle Horatio.  I have the feeling that if we broke up she and mom would remain friends.  They both helped me take Willow shopping for the library luncheon."  He smiled at that.  "How is Xander's back doing?"

"Well enough.  It's more of the stress cramps.  It's nice that I can count the massages as physical therapy for my shoulder."  Ray smirked back at that.  "I can."  He grinned.  "Why else are you here today?"

"Mom's eating ice cream for dinner.  She's having an 'I remember when you started to walk and ran into the walls all the time' day."

"That does happen," Horatio agreed.  "Go play, Ray."  That got a grin and his nephew hugged him again before disappearing.  He got out of bed and went to find Xander, finding him doing his accounting homework outside.  "That looks difficult."

"It's simple math but I still have to use a calculator."

"Better a calculator than an error," he soothed.  "I would too."  He sat beside him, bundling up his homework so he could hold him. "You know I'll be proud even if you don't go to Nationals, right?"

"I know but this contract is dragging on."

"No it's not," he countered.  "I'd expect it to take much longer, Xander.  Especially since it crosses two cities and nearly twenty years."  He stroked down his back.  "I promise it won't interfere with your trials."  Xander looked at him.  "Are you having doubts?"

"Why am I doing this?"

"Because it's the only way you can prove to yourself how good you are," he reminded him.  "You came in fourth in State.  Second in most things but fourth all around.  That proves you've got skills."  Xander nodded, resting against his shoulder again.  "You're going to prove to yourself and everyone else how good you are," he reminded him.  "You'll do your best and we'll all celebrate and be proud of you.  Even if you come in dead last."

"I've seen tapes of some of the other guys.  They're tons faster, Horatio."

"No matter what, Xander, you know that you got to Nationals.  Even if you come in last.  That's not losing.  That's you fighting against some people who are going to be wearing gold medals in the next few years.  Even if you don't wear a medal, that's up to you.  The same as training for next year is."  Xander nodded, snuggling in.  "I'm very proud of you, no matter what, Xander.  I want you to try your best because I can only get more proud of you."  Xander nodded, smiling at him.  "Have you been slacking off?"

"Nope.  Eric and I have been hitting the gym every night since my back quit hurting.  I've been spending hours in there during the day too."

"I wondered why Percy and Eric have been at Di's."

"Percy doesn't want to leave him."

"Hmm.  Does that mean Di wants Percy?"

"No, but she's thinking about getting a new dog."

"That could help him.  As long as they and Percy got along."  He stroked over his back.  "Now then, you're cramping terribly again."

"I know. It's the stress.  If this was an international competition year, I'm not sure I could go higher."

"You could because you know your father and I would be there with you," he reminded him softly.  Xander smiled at that, he could feel it.  "The same as Aiden is coming to Nationals.  I think she's bringing a huge banner if she can and everything."  Xander blushed at that.  "I know it's odd that you've got supportive people to cheer for you, Xander, but you do.  You have so many of us.  The same as you will if you go next year.  Or if you take up polo."  Xander looked up at him.  "I don't want to own a horse."

"Horses are expensive pets that don't cuddle."

Horatio smiled.  "Thank you."  He took a kiss.  "Why aren't you at the pool today?"

"I had to do the homework, it's due tomorrow.  My accounting teacher yelled at me in class for not turning in the daily stuff.  He demanded to know why I was slacking off, so I told him I'm in the home stretch before Nationals and I've spent all my free time in the pool and on a diving board, like I'm supposed to.  He stared and ordered me to do tonight's and the project, then go back.  That I could take two hours to do that."  He shrugged and snuggled back in.  "I think this is more worthwhile than homework."

"It is," he agreed.  It soothed both of them and make them both feel better.  "After you get back, I'm still going to be on injury leave for the rest of that week.  Would you like to do something then?"

"I wouldn't mind.  What were you thinking about?"

"Short cruise?  That way no one could bother us?"

Xander smiled.  "Okay.  I know there's a problem with one of the islands in the Carribean and gay people but I wouldn't mind."

"Then we'll do that."  He kissed him on the forehead.  "Get back to work and we'll cuddle when you're done."

"That might be midnight."

"It won't be.  You'll do fine."  Xander sighed and got back into it, tracing down the exercise to find out where he was.  He tapped things into his calculator and balanced the sheet, then frowned and went back to check his figures. Horatio looked at one and tapped it.  "That's a different number than the one across from it."

Xander looked, then moaned and added in one last entry and that number, then rebalanced it.  "I forgot to put in where the other part went.  Thank you."

"Not a problem.  I like watching you do homework."  Xander blushed.  "I know you're very bright, Xander, doing homework in front of me proves it to me and makes me appreciate your brains."  He dropped another kiss on the temple then got up.  "Water or juice?"

"Juice please. I skipped lunch to watch some of those tapes with the guy from my old team who's going too."  Horatio nodded, going to get him some juice and a sandwich, making Xander look and sigh, then up at him.  "I'm not supposed to gain any more weight."

"You haven't, you've lost some.  Eat it."  He sat down and watched his mate eat and go back to his next problem. It was a good thing.

***

Xander stepped up to do his first dive, diving was first in this event.  He dropped his mind back into the right spot and went over it in his mind, then willed his body to follow his thoughts, just like in practice.  He felt the twinge in his arm but that was fine.  He had cramps there sometimes.  He came out of the water and looked at his arm, then the water.  He blinked at the small trail of blood.  "Um, coach?" he called as he got out.  "Can I have a towel?"  One of the paramedics on duty came over to look at his arm, the officials calling a temporary halt while the pool was drained and refilled and the shooter hunted down.  Horatio joined him on the bench.  "Just a graze."

"That's fine, Xander.  I think I heard someone say that you deserved higher marks for doing it while being shot."  He looked at it.  "It's just a graze.  Won't even need stitches."

"You're right.  Tyelnol and a waterproof bandage once it gets stopped."  He looked up as the officials came over.  "Sorry about that.  I didn't plan that."  They smiled at that.  "I'll be fine.  All I need is a bandage.  No stitches needed."

"You seem too calm to have just been shot," one noted.

Horatio pulled up his badge.  "It's not the first time.  He swam with metal stitches in his shoulder after a minor rebound injury."  He put his badge back and went back to putting pressure on it.  He moved the towel, then nodded. "It's mostly stopped."

"Slap some neosporin on it and a bandage."

"Let's get it fully stopped, sir," one of the paramedics offered.  Xander shrugged.  "See, it's going again."

Xander looked and sighed.  "Can't I just burn it closed?  Like they did in the old days?"

"No, Xander.  I don't want you to have scars like that," Horatio said gently.  Xander nodded, resting against his side while they handled it for him.  "Did they find who shot at him?"

"The security people found him coming down.  He's in custody."  He looked at the young man.  "You don't have to continue."

"Yes I do.  I don't rate any special favors and I've swam with worse, even in distance events."  He stood up.  "This isn't that bad, sir.  I'm going again."  That got a nod and a smile.  "Sue me, I'm a prima donna and a glamor hog."  He grinned.  "Should I have it sealed?"

"Up to you, son, you'll have to cover it no matter what."

"That's fine."  He looked at it then at them.  "Guys, recommendation?"

"It'll be a burn if you do, sir.  Just as bad, if not a bit worse."

"Yeah, but the burn means no one can complain about the possibility of blood in the pool."  He looked at Horatio, who shrugged.  "Can I see my old coach?  Miami College's?"  That got a nod and they went to get him.  "Thanks, guys.  It'll be a minute.  He's talking his boy back up."  The dive coach came out. "It's a small graze.  Cauterize or cover?"

"Cauterize.  Some of the other coaches are already complaining that they're not scrubbing the pool."  He looked at it, then at him. "You can come back next year."

"Next year, I plan on coming back with Eric if I come back.  Him right behind me."  That got a smirk.  "Seriously."  He looked at Eric as he made it to them.  "Cauterize?"

"That's going to pull."

"And?" he noted.  "With some of the stress cramps I've had?"

"Point," he admitted.  He looked then nodded.  "H?"

"If he wants, but I would rather he not."

"They'll challenge it," the dive coach offered.  "Too many challenge him they'll have to remove him from the meet."

"Then go ahead."  He saw someone break through the crowd and come running their way but Xander was still relaxed.  "Is that Aiden?"  He nodded, moving back to let the paramedics finish the work on his arm.  They had a small iron they could do that with.  "Aiden, he's fine."

"He got shot!" she yelled.

"I got a graze, mom, and they're going to close it now," he said calmly, hissing and wincing as they closed the wound.  "Ow."  They smiled and wiped around it then bandaged it once it had neosporin over it.  "Really ow."  Eric nodded.  He rolled his shoulder and worked his arm.  "Damn.  Well, it'll be fine in a minute."  He stood up and hugged her. "I'm fine, mom.  I promise I'm fine, mommy."  He got her calmed down and sitting next to him.  "It's all right."

"They still shot you," she said harshly.  "Who in the hell is after you now? I haven't heard about any new stalkers."

"Well, I do have one but they're mostly nice.  No, this is probably about the person who put the contract out on Horatio's life."  She let out a screech and hit him on the arm.  "Easy, mom, he got shot the other week," he said firmly.  She backed down at that.  "It's being handled.  Mac's got the case.  He told us it was okay to come.  We're fine.  There's guards watching over us."  She nodded, staring at him.  "Dad's probably fussing."

"I'll go tell him you're all right.  Eric?"

Eric looked at him.  "You good?"

"Still stings like road rash.  I'll be fine in a few."  That got a nod and he walked Aiden off with the other coach.  He looked at the officials.  "At least I hope it's about the contract and not some random idiot with a rifle."

"No, it's probably about that," Horatio agreed.  "We thought you'd be safe, Xander.  I'm sorry."

"I'm not.  I'll be fine, Horatio.  Can I, um, modify one of my dives?  I don't think I want to bend during one of them."  That got a nod and he went to modify his planned routine, getting a smile and a nod. This one was harder but it was less work with his arms.  Once the pool was full and everyone was let back in, he took his spot on the bench, looking at the others who were staring at him.  "It quit bleeding, I had it sealed and cauterized.  It won't bleed again.  They got the idiot who tried for me.  It was about my husband, who's a cop."  They nodded, accepting that.  That meant they weren't in danger and could relax and concentrate.  Xander put in his i-pod headphones and listened to music until his number flashed, then he put them down and went to take his spot and psych himself up into his next dive.  He moved his arm to test it.  It felt like road rash; he had dived and swum with worse.  He ignored the pain, taking his position, back to the pool, and took a deep breath before doing his next dive.  He landed very well, a little splash but not bad.  And hey, he definitely had the sympathy vote from the judges.  He climbed out and had the paramedics check the bandage.  It was still fine and sealed so that was good with everyone else.

***

Xander touched the wall during his last lap and the crowd in his cheering section went insane.  He looked up.  Second.  He had gotten second.  He got out and nearly snoopy danced then and there.  He shook the winner's hand.  "Congrats, you earned it."  That got a smile and he went to gather his towel and bag of stuff.  He found Horatio waiting on him and pounced.  "I got second!"

"I saw," he praised.  He cuddled him.  Xander had consistently gotten second in most of his races.  One third in one of his distance ones but the bandage had come off his arm as well.  "I'm very proud."  Xander snuggled into his chest.  He kissed him on the forehead. "You have to get your award."  Xander nodded, getting free and going to do that.  He smiled at the rest of their family, accepting their congratulations.  Xander accepted his silver and shook the judge's hands, staying for the pictures, then they gathered him and headed off.

"Harris," someone yelled.  Xander turned and found his old coach standing there.  "Good work.  Don't rest on it, but good job."  He shook his hand.  "Any chance of you coming back full time?"

Xander shrugged, then winced.  "Baby Horatio is due next month, coach. Maybe the semester when we start having events.  I'm not sure yet."

"Tell me as soon as you do come back full time, kiddo.  Good job.  You as well, Delko."

"Thanks, coach.  We're all very proud of him."  He patted Xander on the back. "See you back at the college's pools."  That got a smirk.  "Someone's gotta train with him since he's still part time."  That got a bigger smirk.  "Hey, coach, if one of us ends up on the national team, think we could pull you in?"

"If one of you two make it, I'll be there," he promised.  "Go home, celebrate.  Take a week off to brag and dance around, then get back to work.  He needs to be faster to make it next year.  This year the top butterfly guy was out with the flu."  Xander nodded, he knew that.  "Good.  I look forward to seeing gold next year, young man."

"Yes, sir."  He smirked and took Horatio's hand, putting his medal in his bag with the others.  "I need a trophy box."

"I've got a shelf cleared off in the study for your awards," Horatio promised. He gave his hand a squeeze.  "We're flying back to Miami tonight."  Xander nodded.  They walked outside and found two cop cars and one van marked FBI.  "Interesting."

Xander bounded over to Fornell when he saw him, giving him a hug.  "I took silver in my last race and three others, bronze in one other one.  Plus silver in diving."

Fornell smirked at him.  "Good job, Harris.  Get off."  Xander got off him.  "Very good work."

"Thank you.  I'm damn lucky."

"You are, especially since the person who shot you during the diving part got given bail."  He looked at Horatio.  "Can we escort you to your flight?"

"We need to get the bags from the hotel," he offered.

"It's in the truck.  We've also arranged for an escort once you're back in Miami."  Horatio nodded, relaxing at that.  They started into the van, letting them guard.  Horatio went first since he was still officially injured.  That's why he was in the van when the shooting started.

Xander turned, grabbing the gun off the agent who fell and shot the person running at them, hitting him in the stomach and leg.  "Mother fucking bastard," he said bitterly.  Fornell snatched the gun and he glared at him.  "What!  This is my family."

"Get in the truck."  Xander got into the truck and curled up next to Horatio.  The doors shut.  Fornell's people went to check for others while the truck got moving.  That way they didn't have to hear him throwing a fit.

Eric leaned over and tapped Xander on the forehead, getting a look.  "I'm going to spank you."

Xander shrugged.  "You guys were in here."  He looked around. "Mom and Speed?"  He found his phone in his bag and called Fornell's number.  "Dad and Mom are out there.  Speed and Aiden Burns, New Orleans CSI.  Yeah.  Well, they are like my parents.  They're supposed to fly back with us.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "He'll find them and bring them to the airport."  He snuggled in again. Horatio let out a discontented sigh. "Sorry.  Instinct, but sorry.  They were shooting, at me and you guys."

"Xander, do we have to have a repeat of the 'you're not a cop' speech?" Don asked patiently.

"No, Uncle Don."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Uncle Don."

"Absolutely certain?  Because that was so cowboy even Montana would've called it that."

"Sorry, Uncle Don," he sighed.

"You should be!"  He swatted him.  "Stupid!  Next time, dive into the truck!"

"I was trained to stand and fight."

"Then you're gonna be retrained," he assured him firmly.

"It's my fault, Don. Xander's had to handle some stuff on his own," Horatio offered.  Xander frowned at him.  "You have, or else that list would've been brought to my attention."

"What list?"

"The people who tried him," Horatio said blandly.  "Plus files on the people who are still sending him stuff."

"Still?" Danny demanded.  The couple nodded.  "Why?  I thought all that stuff in the box was on the contract and the people going after you for that."

"Not a clue," Xander sighed, wiggling under Horatio's arm.  He got a squeeze and the chest welcomed his head.  "Sorry, Horatio."

"It could've been much worse," he promised.  "Next time you get into the truck first."  He looked at Mac, who was looking thoughtful.  "He did it to defend us."

"I can't blame him on that.  Military procedure is to either get everyone inside while one or two cover or to stop the shooter and stay out of the way of the people who might be getting out of the truck.  Depending on severity and how many are already in the truck.  He did it military. I can't complain about that.  I can complain about him taking the gun off one of the agents to do it."

"Not like I was armed," Xander said bitterly.  They pulled into the airport and were hurried inside past security into a sealed room.  He found his bag and put on some real clothes over his speedo, then flopped down.  "Is anyone else really tired?"

"Yup, and we only watched," Danny offered, hugging him around the neck.  "Good job, Xander."  Xander smiled at that.  "How are you gonna display 'em?"

"I don't know.  I thought they make stands for them or something."

"We've got some great pictures of you diving and on the platform," Eric promised, grinning at him.  We can design it together with Horatio and Taylor."  Mac smirked at that.  "And you if you're going to be down there for a few more days."

"Probably," he agreed.  "We're still waiting on the warrant for the head of this contract and all the rest of the people are starting to fall."  He looked at Xander.  "Are you okay?"

"Really exhausted."  He stood up and stretched.  "No injuries, Mac.  I don't feel anything."

"That's fine."  He patted him on the shoulder.  "Your job is to guard Horatio," he said quietly.  "I want you behind him in the future when this sort of thing happens.  Got it?"  Xander nodded at that.  "Good boy."  He patted him on the cheek.  "And very good work, Xander.  Especially for your first one."  Xander smiled at that, blushing some.  Speed and Aiden were pushed in.  "Hi, again."

"What the fuck?" Aiden asked.

"Ditto?" Speed asked.  Horatio and Eric cracked a smirk and she swatted him. "Ow!  Mean wench!  Be gentle with me."

"Calleigh would mind if my new brother or sister would have to look at a bruise when it's born in a few months," Xander told her.  She gaped then squealed and hugged Speed around the neck, cutting off his oxygen. "Don't I get one?" he whined, mostly to save his father.  She transferred over to him, hugging him just as hard.  "Thanks, mom."

"Not a problem, baby.  You did great."  She smiled at him. "But I'm still gonna spank you for firing back."

"I was still out of the truck."

"I don't care.  You're still being spanked."  She gave him another hug.  "I'm so proud!"

"Let's hope Marisol didn't redecorate the nursery while we were gone," Danny teased.

"She knows better since last time Xander carried her up to the other house and tossed her into the pool," Speed offered with a grin.  "Which let Eric jump in to swim too since there was an adult in there."  They all giggled at that.  "I'm hoping she learned her lesson."

"We all hope she learned her lesson," Mac promised.  "She came out dripping, screaming, and pouting."

"I told her she could do whatever she wanted with the one at her place," Xander defended. "That one's mine."  He smirked.  "Besides, I used the special locks on the house.  If anyone tried to get in, they were going to be sorry."  He looked at Mac, grinning.  "Thank you for telling me what to put in."

"Welcome, Xander.  I'm surprised you didn't before then."  He shrugged.  "It won't hurt her or the baby but it'll make her sorry.  They loaded the gas sprayer with the stink bomb solution."  They all shuddered at that.  "When it's flipped on, it'll be full strength and spray them in the face and chest."  Xander cackled at that.  "She's going to stink for a while if she did."

Eric called his mother.  "We're on our way home soon.  Four silvers and a bronze swimming.  A silver for diving."  He grinned. "It'll be on ESPN in a week and a half, momma.  I put the information on top of the tv already."  He listened to her say something to someone. "Which one tried to get into their house, momma?  Yeah, Xander and Mac planned it.  No, those are his stink bombs.  Did you ask Alexx?"  He snickered.  "Xander, she tried to have our sister and brother-in-law help."

"Pity," Xander said dryly.  "I told you that was my nursery."

Eric listened to his mother rant.  "Well, he told you that was his nursery and Mari could do whatever she wanted with the one she'd be doing.  Ma, she deserved it.  I don't know, ask Alexx how she got the other ones.  No, someone tried to attack him as we were coming out.  He's fine.  Happy but pouting that someone tried to attack him on the way out to go back to the hotel."  He nodded.  "Next time, don't break in."  He snorted.  "Sure."  He listened to his father complain.  "Did they get in there?  I didn't think so."  He smirked at Horatio.  Then he shook his head.  "No, dad.  No, dad.  Poppi, no. She's got yours to do.  Xander wants his his way.  That's his house and his right.  I know it's Horatio and Marisol's child.  And?  Horatio, did you like his nursery?"

"It's grown on me and it's soothing to sit in there," Horatio admitted, taking the phone.  "Mr. Delko, I like how he decorated it.  At first I was wary but I like it now. Again, this is our house and she can do yours.  No, I'm perfectly happy now that the last damage was undone.  It's very soothing to sit in there at night.  Our daughter will love it."  He grimaced.  "Are you having her mood swings with her?  I sincerely doubt that she'll be able to keep custody from us for not liking our nursery, Mr. Delko.  If she threatens it again, we may have to sue her for total custody."  Eric hissed at that, shaking his head.  "She's being a bit irrational. It's a very nice, comfortable room.  Hmm.  Are you so sure that they would?" he asked dryly.  "Considering she did sign papers saying we would have at the very least equal visitation and custody rights?"

"That's in the special safety deposit box with the wills," Xander said quietly.  He knew if she did that to them he'd be making her life a living hell.  It didn't need to be stated, it'd be understood.  "See if Willow or Di can get her calmed down."  He took the phone, listening to the rant.  Then he snorted.  "Really?  Are you so sure about that?  Because there's no precedent for that and Horatio is the biological father.  Little known fact but with the Watchers starting on DNA tweaking and hoarding, I made them do it the natural way, Mr. Delko.  That way nothing could be left laying around for them or anyone after Horatio to use against him.  I'm fairly certain it's Horatio's.  Unless you think she's not the good little girl you and Eric think she is?  No, I didn't think so, I know she is.  So yeah, we're very sure it's Horatio's and if you threaten us over the fucking nursery, I'm going to have to get involved because NO ONE hurts my spouse.  Are we fully clear?"  He listened to him splutter.  "Are we?"  He smirked.

"Good.  Thank you.  Now, would you mind starting to think rationally?  It's a nursery.  It's a very nice nursery.  Most people like it after the first few minutes in it.  She's fallen asleep in there before.  What does she object to?  Oh, her priest said that dragons were unholy beings.  Can you kick his ass for me?  I'm not Catholic.  So?  There's plenty of bad priests and I could care less what they think.  Caring what they thing is better left to those who are Catholic.  Maybe Horatio cares, he was raised that way and practices.  I don't.  Hmm.  He's known for how long she was having the baby?  Ah, a new one.  Well, I'd suggest she go for a second opinion unless he's got a signed statement from God saying he's his spokesman.  They're mythological creatures.  Yes, and they're usually counted as protective creatures in most myths.  Some do, but then they thought the same thing about whales for a while.  Again, do I care?  I will protect my spouse and our children to the best of my abilities. Now, you can talk to us rationally and reasonably when we get home or you don't.  That's your call. Ours will be filling for full and permanent custody with visitation for you and your family.  Hmm.  I'm a stay at home dad....  Yeah, exactly.  Right now, don't you think you should be more worried about her health than a nursery?  How did her last checkup go?  That might be a good idea, yeah."  He hung up and tossed the phone back.  "The new priest has told her and your family that we're evil for having a child with her, and for using dragons in the nursery, that the colors in it are evil and lead back to satanism."

Eric moaned and shook his head.  "Will I at least get visitation?"

"Whenever you and your mom want," he agreed.  "As long as the irrationality stops, we'd even let the baby go spend time there.  The same as I still don't object for the baby to be baptized Catholic because it's important to Horatio and Marisol, plus your mom.  Just not in that church."

"Agreed," Horatio agreed.  He looked at Xander.  "If they work it out...."

"Then the agreement stands.  If not, it's getting fought over.  I'm not letting petty shit hurt the child or you, Horatio."

"Thank you," he agreed quietly, giving him a hug.  "Calm down."

"No!"  He glared at him. "I have every right to be upset about this!"

"You do," he agreed.  "The same as half of this is from the incident earlier," he said wisely.  Xander grimaced but nodded.  "Thank you."  He pulled him into his lap and sat with him, keeping him calm.  He whispered in his ear, getting a nod and Xander cuddling in.  "Thank you, Xander."

"Welcome, Horatio."  He kissed him.  "I gave Don a letter to bring back to New York to get your family priest down to bless the baby," he offered quietly.  Horatio swallowed then gave him a hard squeeze.  "I know it's important to you, Horatio.  I even offered to pay for airfare for him if he'd come down to do the blessing."  Horatio smiled at that.  Eric grinned too.  "But we're still doing a Wiccan blessing for Tia.  I'm still going to named her guardian and teacher."

"Yes, dear.  I can accept that."

"Personally I think this new priest is making her paranoid," Eric offered quietly.  "I'll talk with her when we get home, providing I can get within a block of her stinky body.  How many times did she try to break in?"

"Three or four according to your dad."  He shrugged.  "Oh well.  The gate guards could've turned it off but I told them not to until we got back there unless Di needed something of Eric's that first night."

Horatio smiled and nuzzled his throat, placing a kiss on it.  "I'm very impressed by you, Xander."

"Love you too."  He smiled and got up, grabbing his bag to pull out his medals and let Aiden see them up close and personal.  She hadn't gotten to see his diving one.

"Awww, they're so cute," she cooed. "Where are they going?"

"I've got an empty shelf in the study ready for them and his ones from All-City and State," Horatio promised. "Plus the others I found in the bottom of my closet?"

"Mine's out of room."

Horatio shook his head.  "Fine, Xander. We'll design a display together."  He paused.  "The underground tunnel?"

"The only people who know the code are us, Horatio.  I told Mac and Calleigh that there was one but not what it was."  Horatio nodded at that.  "But I do need to put in a door on the other side to the second room anyway."

"We'll see how best to do that when we get home, Xander."  He pulled him back into his lap, looking at the medal.  "That is very pretty.  You look good in silver, but you'll look wonderful next year in gold."  He took another kiss, getting a happy husband.

Speed called Calleigh. "It's me.  We're safe.  Yeah, I figured it would be but I forgot to call until now.  No, we're fine.  At the airport.  The FBI escorted us here.  Silver.  Four silver and a bronze in swimming and a silver on the diving side."  He smiled.  "I wouldn't go get the house ready.  Xander used a defense system that sprays his stink bomb liquid on anyone who tries to use the doorknob when we're not there.  Yeah, that's why half the Delkos stink.  New priest syndrome.  Thanks, dear.  We're coming back tonight, Calleigh.  I promise.  Love you too.  Be safe for me."  He hung up.  "She's squealing and bouncing around the labs.  She caught Ryan and danced around with him too.  He's complaining about being dizzy."  Xander grinned at that.  He tapped on the door, making the agent step inside.  "How much longer do we have?"

"An hour, sir.  We've already arranged to look at the plane and are checking the manifest right now.  You'll go on last with the Air Marshal then you'll be escorted back to Captain Caine's house for the night since it's the safer residence."

"That's fine," Xander agreed.  "Can one of us run out to get sodas and stuff so we can nibble on the plane?"  That got a quiet question asked through his comm then a nod.  "Who's going?"

"I will," Eric admitted.  Xander handed him his wallet, making him look inside.  "Damn, Xander.  Did we pay the hotel bill?"

"Yeah, we prepay whenever we travel," Xander assured him. "If not, they have one of my cards on record to charge it for anything over what we paid."  That got a nod.  "Get me a coke and a candy bar?  I deserve it."

"You do," he agreed.  "Anyone else?"  Speed wrote out a list and handed it over, making him smile.  "Thanks for including me and a book, plus a hat for Calleigh."

"I forgot."  Eric walked out with the agent, going to do that while another one got the door.  By the time he got back it was nearly time to go and they were gathering bags.

***

Xander walked into the nursery and looked around.  It was still perfect.  He smiled and grinned, then headed to pounce his mate, giving him a cuddle. "It's still okay."  He beamed at the woman walking in.  "Hi."  He kissed Horatio, getting a moan and a cuddle.  "We're going to plan how to put the medals up."  He grabbed his gymbag and carried it into the office, going to look at the shelf.  His other awards and copies of the news articles were already there.  Plus his stuff from State.  Mrs. Delko walked in. "Hanging, resting on a stand, or laying flat?" he asked, knowing it was her.

"On a stand.  That's how we did all of Eric's."  She looked at his then smiled.  "Good work, Xander.  Next year you'll do better if you go back."  He grinned at that, blushing some and nodded.  "Now, can we work this out?"

"It's a nursery.  Kick the priest in the ass."

"Oh, I have.  I did that today with the family's priest.  He agreed with you."  She shrugged.  "He's talking with Marisol and her father now."  She patted him on the arm, then frowned and pulled up his sleeve, finding the bandage.  "Did you hit the board?"

"No, a sniper tried to kill me during my first dive.  They cauterized it so I could keep going."  He took off the bandage to show her.  "Eww.  Needs to be cleaned."  He shrugged and laid out the rest of what would be going up there.  Horatio came in with the pictures Eric had printed off and brought over.  "She thinks we should put them on a stand."

"As do I," he agreed.  He stole a kiss.  "Marisol's here and very apologetic."

"That's fine."  He snuck another kiss and grinned.  "Then we don't have a problem."  Horatio smiled and nodded, going out to tell her that.  Xander shrugged.  He looked at his kind-of-grandmother.  "Do I make that many demands?"

"No, you've been more than reasonable, Xander."  She patted him on the back.  "Come, I can show you how to make a good holder out of a wire hanger.  That's how I did most of his."  He nodded, grabbing some pliers from the tool kit and following her. The dry cleaner always sent back wire hangers so they had some in the front closet that needed to go back.  She sat him down on the couch and showed him how to make one that would dangle the medal and the ribbon would drape over.  He mimicked what she was doing, then let her correct his first one.  He took it back and nodded, using it as a template.  She smiled and went to find her daughter and the father of her daughter's baby.  "He's making hangers for his medals."

"I like yours better anyway," Eric agreed happily.  "I was going to snatch one and bring it over."  He grinned at Horatio.  "They're not that bulky and they're made out of coat hangers."

"That's fine."  He smiled at her.  "Thank you."

"It's not a problem, Horatio, but there is no easy way to get that stench out of anything."

"Xander's breath spray," Horatio offered.  She laughed at that. "That's how Danny got it out of the hummer after Mac broke one open."

"I'll have to remember that for next time.  Alexx said to tell you she ordered the two that were caught trying to break in scrubbed with hard brushes twice.  They called her to see if the stench was decomposition or not."

"It does kinda smell like it," Eric admitted, shuddering.  Marisol glared at him.  "It was your own fault."

"Fine.  I'm sorry, Xander."

"Like I said, as long as you're being reasonable, it's not like I make many demands, Marisol, and we're good.  Though I did write Horatio's family priest to come down to do the baptism with your mother's full knowledge."

"He'll be wonderful," she assured her daughter.

"He's the Bishop of New York now," Horatio told her.  She smiled at that and stroked her stomach.  "How are you and Tia feeling?"

"Fairly sleepy."  She shrugged. "I'm told it's normal."  She took his hand to hold.  "Only one more month, then we'll have another screaming infant."  She looked over as the kids and others came tromping up the beach. "They're still over there?"

"Di and Taylor are buying the other house from us," he admitted.

"That's one way to steal the baby back more often," Mr. Delko joked.  Eric nodded at that but Taylor whapped him on the shoulder.  He laughed at his son's hurt look.  "Good morning, ladies."

"Hi, Mr. Delko," Di said, handing him Eric.  "Here, have the brat."

"What did he do?"

"Drew on the walls."

"A good swat fixes that," he pointed out.

"We do not spank the children," Horatio said calmly.  "There's much too much violence in Xander's past."  He sighed and rolled his eyes.  "He responds well to other methods."

"He does," Taylor agreed.  "I was raised on the belt and even I agree with that."  She shrugged.  "It's not often he turns into a brat on us either. That's normal toddler stuff."

"It doesn't damage them if done right."

Xander came to the doorway.  "By the time I was six I knew how to lie better than any politician and how to hit back.  No one spanks the kids."  He stared him down.  "Unless you want Eric and Tia to turn into me some day?"  They all shuddered at that.  "So, no.  Moot point.  Eric, you did what?"

"Colored," he said, looking sheepish.

"On?"

"Wall?"

"Where are you supposed to color?"

"Paper or board in my room."

"And what did we discuss last time?"

"Eric grounded?"

"Yup, ya think?"  He pointed into the house.  "Go sit."  Eric sniffled but went to sit in the chair he had when he was grounded, which meant he couldn't play with the other kids.  "This is the second time. You knew better."

"Wall ugly!" he protested.

"Then talk your mothers into painting or covering it with wallpaper.  They like pretty colors, son."  He went back to bending an extra hanger, just in case.

Eric looked at his mother.  "Wall ugly.  We get sweaty?"

She smiled.  "We'll talk about painting the kitchen."

"I wasn't happy with the kitchen's color anyway," Xander admitted quietly.  He put that on the table but it rocked. He sighed and moved to fix it.  Bigger Eric came in to help, counting.  He shrugged. "That way we've got an extra one for the meet next month?"

"You can make one for each new meet, Xander," he offered with a smile. "Part of the post- meet celebration."  He walked him into the study to get to work on his trophy shelf.

"Xander, are we holding a celebration tonight?"

"Sure.  Ask Horatio what we're doing."

"Horatio, are we celebrating as a group or are you and your boy going to be horizontal by then?" she called.

"We can celebrate after the family does," he said patiently, shaking his head. "Xander, how's your arm?"

"Icky."

Eric looked then nodded.  "Someone should look at it," Eric agreed.

"Alexx will be coming anyway," Speed offered dryly.  "He's her first grandkid."  He shrugged and looked at Marisol.  "You good now?"  She nodded.  "Good.  Then go nap on the couch.  You'll get a backache sitting there and napping."  She smiled and went to do that.  "Oh, Horatio, Ryan said he found Calleigh asleep in the firing pen.  She was napping in the corner."

"Pregnant women often need more naps," Eric's father noted wisely.  "I'm sure he didn't panic."

"No, but he took a few cute pictures before waking her up and making her nap in Horatio's office instead.  They all thought it was cute."  Horatio smiled at that.  "He said he'll bring you a copy for your office here when they come over tonight."

"That's fine, Speed.  She is adorable like that."

"She is, but I'm almost scared to be a real dad.  Hell, I only had Xander for a few years before you got him.  I don't know much about real kids."

Willow looked at him.  "You've done fine with the kids around you so far," she reminded him.  "You're not scared of diapers or spitup.  You'll be a god of parenting soon.  Just remember, we get to make the baby a baby Xander and Calleigh.  She'll be the goddess of guns and ammo."

Speed smirked.  "She'll win a Nobel Prize in chemistry, Willow.  Or maybe medicine or biology but she's Nobel bound.  Not crime lab bound."

"That's fine," Horatio agreed. "Ray's not sure he wants to join us either."

"Kid's bright, Horatio.  He could do a lot with his life," Mr. Delko admitted.  "Not like my son, who went there instead of following me."

"Dad, keep it up, watch me sulk all night, which'll start Xander off, then the kids, including the one inside your daughter," Eric called from inside.  "Anyone want a drink?"

"Please," Horatio called.  "Water's fine, Eric."

"Right," he snorted.  "Di, did you hit the grocery store?"

"Everything is in the freezer, Eric. It only need thawed in the microwave."

"Thanks, ladies."  He got to work on that, his mother coming to help.  The kitchen was her domain and anyone cooking when she was around got her help.   The New York contingent came in and Danny came in to help.  "How's Stella?"

"Good.  She's got the last guy in sight.  They're waiting on him to come out of the restaurant he owns to arrest him.  It'll be done by tonight on that end, then the mop-up down here."  He washed his hands and came over to flip the meat in the microwave.  He looked at some steaks Eric was staring at.  "Aren't those too thin to grill?"

"That's Xander's jerky meat," he admitted, putting it back.  "There's not enough here."  He looked at his mother, who sighed.  "Hey, Xander, need some money.  The rest of the steaks in here are yours."

"Look in the built-in freezer in the basement," Xander called.  Eric shrugged and went to do that, coming up with an armful of meat.  Then he went back for a few more steaks and ribs.  Horatio frowned at him.  "In the hurricane shelter."

"Where?"

"Off in the corner. Out of the way of the vault door.  Next to the fireplace."

"I haven't been down there in a while."

"I know but that's okay.  I understand why," he promised, patting him on the arm. He smiled and got up to go help but Eric and Danny picked him up by the arms and carried him back outside, handing him to Horatio. "I can help with the rub stuff.  Horatio lets me."

"No, Xander," Danny said firmly. "No cooking for anyone but you and the mini-you."  He went back in there to help, weathering the laughs from Mrs. Delko.  "Seriously."  He looked at the kid curled up in his chair.  "What's with pouty out there?"

"Colored on the walls.  He's grounded," Eric told him.

"Isn't that normal kid stuff?"

"Yeah, but he's still grounded."

"That's like torture for an active kid like him."

Di looked at him. "Means he won't do it again.  He'll get out in a while."  She shrugged and got back to work on the rub Horatio and Xander liked to use, letting Eric sniff it and add some more garlic. Then he took it and got to work on the defrosted stuff.  She brought out the bottle of italian salad dressing and handed it to Danny.  "For the chickens."  He shrugged and got to work on that and marinating the pieces that were cut up already.  Di went out there.  "We're starting the rubs and marinades."

"I'll get the grill," Mr. Delko offered, moving over to the large gas grill the boys had put in.  He had joked that it was big enough for an Eric-sized appetite.  Xander had said it was so they could feed Eric and all the rest of them too.  It had been cute.  Alexx came out and went over to hug Xander, then saw his arm and drug him off, making him laugh.  "She's good."

"She is," Horatio agreed, looking at Speed, who went to save his son.  "Need help?"

"No, I'm fine, son.  Do we have enough gas?"

"It comes off the main line," Horatio admitted.  That got a nod and a smile, letting him light it.  He got comfortable.  "He does love your family."

"I know, son.  Don't worry about it.  Her panicking and mood swings were enough to get to even me. I don't blame him for digging his heels in and becoming stubborn."  He shrugged and got back to work readying the grill.  He looked up when the light darkened.  "Um, Horatio?  Are they part of the neighborhood?"

"Xander, there's a fairly large demon out here," he called.

Xander sighed and came out with his favorite sword, going to attack the thing.  The thing quit blocking the sun and went back into the water again, making him trudge back and inside to take a shower.  "Stupid things," he muttered as he walked past Alexx and handed Speed his sword.  "Lighter fluid it please?"

"Sure, kid."  He grimaced at the ugly mess on the blade, taking it into the backyard to burn it clean.  The dog came out to sniff the ground then growled and barked a few times before heading back inside. At least until both Rays, Yelina, and their dog came over, then he had a playmate that would play with him again.  He gave the boy a sad look.

"Eric grounded," he pouted.  "Eric bad."

"You can get up in an hour," his mother called.  "Go play with Toddy, boys."  They went to find the other baby outside and play with him.  He was nearly as good to chase around.

Willow came back with Calleigh and Liz.  "I heard there was a demon here.  What sort was it?"

"Big, slimy, and it came out of the ocean.  Not a kraken," Speed offered.

"Was that like the three hundred foot one he killed?" Di asked.  Eric nodded.  "Okay then. Should I make Tia a little set of fighting leathers?  Make her into Elektra?"

Speed looked at her, then moaned and shook his head.  "Don't give him any ideas!  He'll use it on ours too!"

She beamed.  "See, I can see yours in suede."

Calleigh leaned in.  "No thank you.  We want a normal child."

Speed looked at her.  "So Xander will never get to see the baby?"

"If that's what it takes."  She went outside to curl up in a chair.  "Horatio, make Ryan quit picking on me for napping in Ballistics."

"I'm sure it was cute, Calleigh, but napping is a normal part of pregnancy."  She pouted at him.  "I'll try."  She nodded.  "But you won't get to spoil his fun.  I'll let him pout at you."

"That's mean."

"Yes, but it's more mean to me if he pouts at me because you're being mean to his little brother or sister."  She pouted, sniffling a bit.  "It won't work, Calleigh.  Really.  I will let Xander pout at you."  She slumped and nodded.  "I'll try to keep it down. He'll have plenty to do with Tia."

"Yeah, but Liz was in a leather dress the other day," she protested.

"Di told me where you and she found the S&M baby stuff.  We were doing it to tease Ryan," Willow said with a grin.  "It was nearly as good as putting a milky glass down in front of him then laying down on the couch."

"Are you retraining him or is he retraining you?"

"I'm not really sure," she admitted.  Horatio laughed at that.  "He has made me less of a slob and I do make him relax and pounce me after he cleans up.  Which he does less of now. We'll end up somewhere in the middle."  They all smiled at that.  "But he won't make Toddy and Liz as bad as he is."

"That's always a good thing," Calleigh agreed.  "Maybe he can make Speed clean up the office?"

"They would be really hot together," Willow offered, considering it.  Calleigh squeaked and went bright red.  Mr. Delko moaned. "Hey, she suggested it!"

"She suggested what?" Speed said patiently.

She smiled at him. "That Ryan could make you clean up the office.  All I said was that you two would be very hot together."

Calleigh let out another high-pitched squeak and went brighter red.  Speed made her look at him.  "I like you more.  It'll never happen.  The office can stay messy."  She nodded quickly, pulling him down to kiss him stupid to take that picture out of her head.

Ryan walked out, smirking at the cuteness.  "We all good?"

"We're fine," Horatio assured him.  "Calleigh just suggested that you could make Speed clean up his home office.  Your wife said you'd be very hot together.  He's helping her block the image," he said in a bland voice.

Ryan looked at his wife.  "You know that green outfit you liked?"  She smiled and nodded.  "It won't be tonight," he offered with a smile, heading into the kitchen to help.  She pouted after him, making him kiss her.  "I love you but your mind is warped, baby.  Very, very warped."  She nodded, giving him a sheepish grin.  "I only like girls.  Specifically one with red hair who's had two of my children."  He kissed her again. "No more fantasizing about me bending others over and taking them hard, dear," he ordered. "Or no green outfit ever."  She nodded, burying her face in his neck. "Thank you."  He patted her on the back.  "Now, let me go do dishes. You go play and keep Calleigh calmer."  She nodded, going back out there.  He rolled up his sleeves as he walked into the kitchen.  "If she wasn't fixed, I'd be worried about baby number three," he told Eric.

"Why?"

"Calleigh apparently suggested I could help Speed clean up his home office.  She said we'd be hot together."  Eric moaned.  "Calleigh squeaked."  He grinned.  "I told her no.  That it wouldn't happen."

Eric shook his head and went to look at Willow.  "Are you *sure* they tied your tubes after Liz?  He's in that odd, smiling mood again.  So are you."

She nodded slowly. "Yeah, pretty sure.  They had to go in to do it, Eric.  I'm not pregnant."

"There's a way to find out.  Come on, I'll drive you to get the test, just in case," he promised, hauling her up and taking her off to get one.  If so, they'd need to take some precautions this time.  Ryan had scared half the station while she was pregnant with Liz.  It was his civic duty to protect Miami and the other officers from Ryan on a male pregnancy high.  Especially from his mood swings that made him go from horny and cracking dirty jokes to pouty and then back to odd and strange that everyone thought was too much of Xander's influence. He drove her all the way to the pharmacy, went inside to buy the test, walked out to hand it to her, then drove her back to the house and walked her inside to the guest bathroom, waiting while she used it.

"RYAN JAMES WOLFE!  I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!" she screamed.

Ryan smirked.  "Damn I'm potent," he quipped. Speed walked out of the kitchen and went to kiss Calleigh to take that information from his head.

Table of Contents

Being A Xander Is Hard Work. 2

Animals in Miami. 123

Swimming And Guns. 341