Notes: NC-17, with some odd twists.  Xander/pretty much everyone.  (Ares, Strife, Ethan, Giles - kinda)

Xander walked out of the club with his pay envelope, smiling at the hefty sum in it.  He'd had a good week dancing.  It was an easy enough job, and it had been really fun too.   He got into his car and headed back to his motel, walking in to order a pizza and some beer, knowing that they wouldn't card him.  He laid down to wait, stroking his flat stomach.  It had been a good idea to go on his roadtrip.  He was happy out here. There weren't many vampires.  Weren't many demons.  None of either had hit on him.  There was no slaying, people wanted to talk to him and listen to his opinions, and he was happy here.  Too bad he'd have to go back some day.

He picked up the phone when it rang.  "Yeah?"  He listened to his desperate boss.  "Why?  I've got tonight off.  I just ordered some pizza actually."  He grimaced, but it would mean more money if he went in tonight. "I thought it was a special party."  His eyes widened.  "Then no, I'm not coming in for that.  Yes, I know they're real, they like to hit on me and try to kill me."  He grimaced.  "Don't fire me," he whined.  "Fine.  Let me get my pizza inside first and find a stake."  He hung up and got up to answer the door when the delivery guy got there.  He tipped him handsomely then sat down to eat a few slices while he got his bag together again.  He'd done laundry earlier that day and now he had to bring most everything back.  "Stupid vampires."  He stuffed in his special outfits he had just gotten back from the cleaners, then took another slice with him out to his car, heading into work.  He signed in as soon as he walked in and headed for the back, getting ready for his turn on the stage.  His boss came back.  "Why did you need to kill my free night?"

"You can have tomorrow night off."

"If one so much as touches me, I'm staking him," Xander said firmly. "Human or not."

"Fine," he agreed happily.  "I'm sure they won't care.  Remember to lift their wallets first."  He headed out to talk to his new Sire.  "He's here."  He went to get them their drinks, coming back with them as his boy's intro music started.  "Next time, don't try to eat all the dancers the night of the party."

"Fine, whatever," his sire said, waving a hand.  "Go away."

He went to sit and watch.  The boy had been good before, now he was intoxicating.  Now he knew why he had called himself Bacchus.   That boy drew his demon closer to the surface, making him lick his fangs.  "Mmm, pretty little cherry boy," he purred, moving closer.  His sire sat him down hard, making him stay away from their treat later that night.  That treat would be all his, not wasted on the minion beside him.  The boy got down to his g-string and he smirked, waving a bill.  Xander gave him a smug look and shook it a bit harder for him, then he backed off, waving at the stage.  He moved back so more of them could see him.

"You can tease better," the lead vampire snarled.

"I could, but then again, I can also stake you," he said with a coy smile.  He pulled off his g-string and moved to pick up the tips, staying out of touching distance.  "Thank you."  He strolled backstage, flexing his cheeks for their benefit.  The manager came back and he looked at him before he could say anything.  "I'm not touching them."

"Go sell drinks. You don't have to."

"Fine, as long as we have an understanding.  I kill things like that."

"Sure you do," he snorted.

Xander pulled out his wallet and showed him the picture.  "Not recognize her?"  He looked stunned.  "They're mine."  He got dressed in his favorite leather outfit to take his turn on stage later, then strolled out to get a drink at the bar.  If they wanted him, they could come up to him.  He wasn't going to go interrupt.  Finally the head vampire walked up to him and he downed his drink. "Buy me one?" he asked.

"Sure," he agreed, smirking at him. "You're very nicely built."

"Thanks.  Spike and Angel have both told me the same thing."

"You know them?"

Xander gave him a long look, then held out a hand.  "Alexander Harris.  Sunnydale's White Knight."  The vampire backed off.  "You can still buy me a drink but the first wandering hand I feel I stake things."

"You're not that good."

Xander waved his stake.  "You're within touching distance."

The vampire laughed.  "Fine."  He waved at the bartender, who got Xander his usual.  He put down the twenty.  "Come sit with me?"

"Fine.  As long as we both realize that I'm in control here."

"If you say so.  I must say, slaying really keeps a body in shape."

"So does stripping and the gym," he noted, following him to an open booth.  He sat on the outer edge of the seat.  "I find that a good workout is the best cure to flabby abs."

The vampire nodded.  "We have a few that could use it."  He glanced around at his family.  "I take it you don't do this at home?"

"Nope, not in the least," Xander agreed, sipping his colored water.  There wasn't any way he would get drunk in a club full of vampires.  That would be suicidal.  "If I can ask, why are all of you drawn to me?  Besides the fact that I'm the only living thing here anymore."

"Mostly it's your scent.  You smell of innocent corruption.  Like something rotten is trying to get you but you've overcome it."

"Hmm."  He finished his drink and put it aside.  "That could be all the demons I've dated."

"It could," he agreed.  "That innocence is intoxicating."

"Who said I was innocent?" he asked smugly.  "I'm not."

"You are in some ways," he purred.

"You'd be surprised."  Xander moved the hand off his.  "Last warning."

"Fine.  I won't touch.  Can I at least sniff?"

"Sniff all you want.  No teeth out."  The vampire shrugged and sniffed him, taking long drags of his musky odor.  Then he sighed and sat back with a happy and sated expression on his face.  "Now, what was that about?"

"That smell is driving me insane."

"It may be, but I'm still not playing like that with you."  He noticed some of the other vampires watching and smiled, waving his stake.  "I'm trained, boys.  Slayer trained."  They all turned around, studiously ignoring him.  He turned back, finding the vampire with him had his game face on.  Xander casually took the guy's drink, then staked him.  He pulled something out of his vest and tossed it, then walked back to casually grab his bag, his tip money, and head out.  Behind him, some of the vampires were running but most of them had succumbed to the poison in the gas bomb.  Giles had found it in the Watcher's journals.  It was really handy for cleaning out nests and didn't do more than intoxicate humans.  Xander looked up.  "Yo, dad, the next time you send your little toys to irritate me, I'm going to go ballistic on them, and then you," he told the stars.  He got into his car, casually putting his bag on the seat next to him as he started the engine.  One lone vampire came out of the club choking and wheezing so Xander beeped his horn in a cheery fashion as he pulled out, waving at him as he headed down the road.

"I'll get you!" the vampire called.  "You can't do that to us!  I'll...I'll...I'll tell Angelus on you!" he shouted, waving a fist.

***

Angel listened to the contact on the other end of the phone line whine about the boy.  "I remember his scent," he admitted, looking at his shoes.  "What do you want me to do about it?"  He grimaced.  "You know, that's not exactly part of my current mandate," he pointed out dryly.  It would be a paying job and Cordelia would leave him alone.  Only there for a few days and she was already nagging him about the money issues.  "Fine," he said, more to get the stupid guy off the phone than to do anything else.  "I'll run a background check on him."  He hung up, shaking his head as Doyle walked down to his apartment.  "We just got a commission.  One of my cohorts from Sunnydale just did something unexpected."

"Harris?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

Doyle smirked at him.  "Do you know how many people have been complaining about how he closed down that strip club?"  Angel raised an eyebrow, looking mildly surprised.  "Oh, you didn't hear the whole story?" he asked smugly, turning to walk away.  "It's fairly interesting.  By the way, I'm not helping you with him."

"What?  Did the Powers find a male slayer?" Angel called after him.  Doyle's chuckle flowed down the stairs.  Angel grabbed his jacket and headed out to find out what was going on.  This was adding up to something really strange.  It was going to eat him until he knew how the little geek had done it.  And why.  Whys were very important in his new life.

***

Xander looked over as the demon walked up to where he was lounging under the stars, giving him a once-over.  He knew what it was.  It was a messenger.  "No."  He went back to watching the stars.

"He wants to visit."

"No."

"He requests a short talk on your duties."

"No."

"He said he'll be here tomorrow night."

Xander looked at him again.  "Then he can die at my buddy's hands like the rest of you.  She's coming by the way."  The messenger disappeared with a pop, leaving a darkened spot on the ground.  "Good."  He went back to watching his stars.  He hadn't realized how important they were before but now that he knew it was a thing he needed to know more about.  Too bad his present salary was so pitiful.  He needed some books.

"You could get them," a deep, soft, intoxicating male voice whispered from behind him.  Xander's response was to pull out a dagger and put it down next to him.  "Fine, son, be that way," the demon snorted.  "Don't let me spoil you with what you so desperately want and need.  It's not like I could remove you from the caretakers my family put you with."

"Father, fuck off."

"Not happening this time, sorry."  He brushed a ghostly caress against his son's hair.  "I wish I were still corporeal."

"Buffy's coming."

"I can feel her.  She won't see me."

"If I can feel you, she can."

"Good point," he admitted bitterly.  "Son, let me help," he pleaded.  "There's no reason for you and my other children to be brawling in such undignified ways."

Xander picked up his dagger and turned to face the ghost.  "Father, has it occurred to you that I'm *exactly* like my mother's side of the family, with just enough of your side to make me a really good target?"  His father groaned, this was an old argument.  "I'm not joining the family business, father.  Go away."  He walked off, heading to meet Buffy where she was bent down to tie her shoe.  He pulled a stake and flipped it at the demon rushing her, then gave her a casual look when she grinned up at him like nothing had happened.  "Hey, Buffy.  We ready?"

"Yeah.  What's that?"

He let her see the dagger.  "I found it at a pawn shop," he lied, slightly.  Found yes, pawn shop no.  "It's pure silver."

"Interesting."  She handed it back blade first.  "Be careful with that.  We don't want you to hurt yourself."  She walked with him, chatting about the things she was doing in her courses.  He pretended to be interested, nodding on occasion and giving her many goofy grins of delight. It was all she needed to have to feel worthwhile and useful.  He watched as she took out some of his cousins, very distant and far down the line, cheering mentally as each one hurt his father just a bit more.  The asshole deserved it for making him be born.

***

Xander walked into the bookstore, the one he had the gift certificate to.  "Who sent me this?" he asked, handing it over.  "I know I didn't buy it."

The salesgirl looked in her records.  "It's some old stuffy British guy," she said lightly, shrugging and letting him see the book.  "I don't know, dude, he was, like, ancient.  Totally nasty and old."

Xander read the entry, then looked at her, grinning.  "I guess it's fine then."  Then took it back and walked away to browse.  His science fiction section needed filled in and they would have a few of the books he had been wanting to read.  Stuffy British Guy had apparently been an Ethan.  He liked Ethan, appreciated his nature now that he knew about his own.  Which had come from Ethan as it happened.  They were secret penpals.  Giles would blow what remained of his hair off his head if he knew, but then again Ethan was helping him with many things.  He found a few more books he had been wanting and brought them up to the counter.  "How much do I have left?" he asked, letting her have the certificate again.  None of the books had a price listed on them.

She added it up on a calculator, then looked at him.  "If you take off the book that's six thousand, you have about another five left," she told him with a grin.  She patted the top of that book, one of the ones he had been wanting to read.  "It's a first edition."

"Hmm."  He nodded, taking that back to the shelf, kinda.  In reality he laid a small illusion on the shelf and the book was shrunk into his pants pocket.  He grabbed another novel and came back handing it over.  "Here you go."

She leaned closer.  "The owner is a witch, it won't go through the door."

He kissed her gently on the cheek.  "I'm the son of Bacchus and one of Aphrodite's handmaidens."  She nodded and let it go after that.  "I'm doing family research so I can make my sperm donor go away and leave me alone."

"No wonder that tall vampire guy liked you so much," she noted.

"And the shorter, blond vampire, and the tall, dark, female vampire, and most of the rest in town," he sighed.  "It sucks."  He took the bag with a nod and a grin. "Forget about that, huh?  I'll send it back after I make notes from it."  She nodded quickly.  "Thanks."  He walked out, keeping the book with him.  Her anti-theft spells were nothing against the screwed-up magic floating around him.  He headed for his house, leaving the sci-fi stuff in plain sight while the others went into the specially shielded trunk he had found at the flea market.  The big, expensive book was the first one he sat down to read.  "I'll return it once I'm done," he told himself, just to make sure he wasn't stealing it.  It was like a library book to him.  He'd hand it back sometime soon.

***

Xander looked up that night on patrol, understanding why he liked the stars so much.  Then he looked at Willow, who was watching him.  "I like watching the stars," he defended.

"Taking up astrology?" she teased.

"No!"  He snorted.  "Not even close."  He shook his head, moving to take Buffy's other side once she was done, it was his usual spot these days.  "She's trying to drag me into the world of magic and mojo," he complained.

Buffy looked at Willow.  "Think about how scary a Xander doing real magic would be," she pointed out with a grin.  Willow shivered, wrapping her arms around herself.  "Exactly."  She grinned at Xander.  "So, what's up with the star thing?"

"I found an appreciation for them during my trip," he offered lamely.  "They're really bright and twinkly."  She laughed and batted him on the arm but that was the sort of answer she had expected from him.  It was easy hiding himself from her, but he caught Willow watching him again and grinned at her.  "They are.  They twinkle like jewels in the velvet of the night sky."

"They do," she agreed.  "You're not learning magic, right?"  He shook his head quickly, he wasn't.  "Thank you."  She hurried to catch up to Buffy to 'help' her slay the next vampire.

Xander shook his head.  If they ever looked at him, they would be very surprised at what he was.  A bonded and blessed handmaiden, taken before she was broken in, and Bacchus produced a reverse incubus in him.  It was that detail that had drew his attention to his parentage.  It was also why so many demons wanted him and his dating record was so odd.  A real incubus would drain its lover, he could drain the demon.  Unfortunately it was having some odd side-effects on his current project, Anya.  She was turning odd now that she was human.  He would have to figure out what to do with her someday soon.  Otherwise his father might step in and gift her to him or something like that.  He looked at one of the vampires watching them and grinned, waving.  "Hi," he called.  It ran off.  "Good.  One less to deal with."  He followed the girls, his other usual position in the group, until they got near Willie's bar, the demon pub.  "Guys, I'm going to look around Willie's, see if we've got any newcomers."  Buffy looked at him then nodded so he took off at an easy lope.

"What is up with him?" Buffy asked Willow.

"I don't know," she admitted, watching her best friend jog off.  "He's not acting that weird, but I'd say it was something from his road trip."  She shrugged.  "He'll tell us."

"Okay, as long as he doesn't wig out totally," Buffy agreed happily.  Her life was all right as long as Xander was still Xander.

***

A few days later, Willow answered Giles' door, taking the package from the Fed Ex guy and signing his clipboard.  "Thanks," she said with a grin.  He nodded and headed back to his truck.  She sat down at the table so she could open the package.  "Giles, a new book from England," she called quietly, hoping he wouldn't hear and she could have first look at it.  He walked behind her, taking it from her hands once she had gotten it uncovered. "What's it on?"

He frowned at it, then at her.  "Sexual demons," he said dryly.  "Was there a note?"

She dug inside the box, bringing one out.  "It's on cream stationary with small flowers in the upper right corner, isn't that Traver's secretary's stuff?"  He nodded, pressing his lips together.  So she read it for him.  "Um, thought you might need this.  I hear one of them is either with you or coming your way.  Not a dangerous thing, but a simple warning.  Tricia."  She grinned at him.  "So, what sort of nasties are these?"

He sat down, flipping to the index page.  "Not much we haven't seen in the past," he admitted.  "Except for a few offspring."  He frowned at the one which had been marked next to.  "Someone defiled the book!" he said in outrage.  She groaned, shaking her head at the stupidity of someone.  Still, he flipped to that section, skimming it.  "A reverse succubus. Interesting."

"Would that hunt humans or demons?" she asked cheerfully. "If it hurts demons like the succubus hurt humans, then could we make friends with it?"

"I doubt it, it would still be a demon, Willow," he chided gently, not looking at her frown.  He might cave if he did.  He continued to skim.  "Hmm, interesting.  It's a very special few who have this skill.  Most of them are human apparently, or at least half-human."  She stood up and leaned over his shoulder to read, making him frown at her.  "You are blocking the light, Willow."

She stole the book to read it, walking around with it so he had to get up.  "Hey, this sounds like Xander.  Dates demons exclusively.  Drawn to him, and vice versa.   Has a problem with telling them no."  She looked at him.  "Can we test him for this?"

"Give me that."  He snatched it back, going over the section she had been reading.  Admittedly, it did sound like Xander to him as well.  But it couldn't be.  He would have noticed it earlier, or Ethan would have probably and he would have tried to get the boy.  He grimaced.  "It does, but I doubt it.  Still, it is a fairly simple test."  He flipped to the next page.  "Hmm.  With the proper training, this kind have been known to fight for the side of good because they're usually sent away from their demonic parent and given to total strangers to raise.  Mostly they're incubus/human crosses."  He looked at her, seeing her happiness and expectant body posture.  "Fine," he sighed.  "We'll test this one and see if it is Xander.  Call him and tell him to come over tonight before he showers."  She nodded, doing that.   He rolled his eyes.  That child was going to drive him insane one day.

***

Xander read the section for himself, noticing the test was very old, and very ineffectual.  He shrugged.  "Will it hurt?"

"It says it might tingle if you're one," Willow said excitedly.  She had mixed the potion that afternoon.  "Come sit," she said with a pat to the diningroom chair.  He sat down, looking up at her.  She placed a single drop in the middle of his forehead, watching as it stuck and didn't change colors.  "Poo.  It's not working, Giles."

He looked at her.  "I didn't think it would," he reminded her.  "He's not one, Willow."

Buffy walked in, slamming the door.  "Not one what?  Xander, that purple really doesn't suit you.  Why are you putting nail polish on his forehead?"

"There was a new book sent from Travers," Xander explained.  "It has something called a reverse incubus.  It does to demons what regular ones do to humans.  Willow decided I was one.  Hopefully this thing comes off?"  She nodded, wiping it off for him.  "Thank you."  He stood up, moving to sit down again.  As usual Willow had been overly generous with the potion and had made it too strong, it was making him lightheaded.

Buffy looked at the book, skimming it for the important parts.  "Hey, maybe he is and the test is wrong.  If so, we'd have to train him in self-defense and how to send them away," she smirked at her best male friend.  Xander gave her a dry look and a small grimace.  "What?  You could use it anyway."

Xander rolled his eyes.  "I'm fine the way I am, Buffy, thank you anyway," he said firmly.  What she didn't know, wouldn't hurt her until it had to.

Willow took the book back.  "It does look out of whack, Giles," she pointed out.

"I'm sure it's fine, Willow," he said patiently, taking the book back.  He went back to a closer reading, finding the section he had been staring at before.  It did sound a lot more like Xander now that he was reading closer.  He glanced at the boy, noticing how pale he was in spite of his tan.  "Are you feeling all right?"

"I think Willow made it really strong.  It's making me dizzy.  Either that or it's the purple nail polish comment," Xander quipped.

Giles stood up, testing his forehead with his wrist.  Then he tested Xander's.  "You are a bit warm.  Willow, did you follow it exactly?"

"As close as I ever do," she admitted.

"Then you probably should nap," Giles agreed, knowing how Willow could be overly- generous with her potions.  He looked at Buffy.  "Take him home."

"I drove."

"That's fine, she'll go with you," he said firmly.

"I can drive his car?" Buffy asked.

"No!" everyone shouted.

"I'll take him home," Giles assured her.  "Meet me at his house."  He helped the boy up and out to his car, taking the keys to get him home safely.  Letting Buffy drive was a recipe for disaster.  There would be an accident and a lot of paperwork, plus the police and probably at least the emergency room again.  If they were lucky and she was only minorly dangerous this time.  Once he had Xander in there and his slayer had escorted him home, he called Tricia.  "Why did you send me a book on sexual demons?" he asked bluntly, listening to the familiar, loved voice as she explained the thought of Xander being one of them.  "We used the test, it only made him light headed.  Yes, quite sure.  Willow mixed it a bit out of proportion," he admitted.  He smiled at her unhappy sigh.  "I'm sure it's fine.  He might have a minor gift in that manner, but he's been fighting with us for a very long time."  He leaned back, chatting with her now.  "How are your children?"

***

Xander climbed up onto his roof later that night, looking up at the stars.  "Bastard," he spat.  "You had to do that to me?  Do you *really* want me to leave?"

The ghost of his father appeared, giving him a look.  "Yes, I do," he said honestly.  "You have a place waiting on you back at my temple.  I wish you would take it."

"Fuck off!"  He looked at the ghost.  "I don't want to serve you.  Thank you."

"Xander?" Buffy called from the sidewalk.  "Who are you swearing at?"

"Just a ghost, Buffy.  Not a problem."  He heard her jump up onto the fire escape and smirked at the ghost, letting just enough of his skills out to make sure he couldn't leave.  "That one," he said when she came over the edge of the roof.

She looked at the ghost, then at him.  "What is it?"

"It's a Bacchus," he said bitterly.  "Every once in a while it shows up to taunt me."

"Bacchus?"  She gave the ghost a clueless look.  "Like what?  The Xena episode?"  He nodded.  "Why?"

"Because I'm his father," he admitted.

"Then he is one of those reverse thingies?"

"No," Bacchus lied, smiling at her as he moved closer.  "You are a fine Slayer, Buffy.  I simply want him to take up his heritage.  He would make a stunning vampire master and Lord, don't you think?"

She shook her head quickly, then shuddered.  "No, I think he'd suck at it.  Look at his life."  She looked at Xander.  "No offense, but you're not exactly management material, ya know?"  He grimaced but didn't move.  "Sorry."  She looked at the dead being again.  "I don't think he could handle the lifestyle really.  He doesn't have a fondness for leather, for violence, or for taunting others."

Bacchus shook his head.  "Why do I even try?"

"I've been asking myself that for years," Xander said bitterly.  "Go.  Away."

"Fine," he sighed.  "Let me go?"  Xander let him go and he faded off, taking the memory of this from his slayer's mind to protect the boy.

Buffy shook herself, looking at Xander.  "Why did I come up here?"

"You thought you saw a demon coming over to taunt me again," he explained.

"Oh, yeah."  She glanced around.  "Where did it go?"

"It ran.  It saw you and ran, Buffy."  She beamed and climbed back down the fire escape, allowing him the privacy to roll his eyes and shake his head.  "Why me?" he muttered, going back to his apartment.  He sat down on his used couch and got comfortable between the broken springs.  "I think it's time to do some new dumpster diving," he said, shifting off a newly sprung spring.  The couch under him changed to a new one and he glared at where the power had come from.  "I don't want it from you either," he said bitterly.  "The only thing you've done is make it worse, Grandmother."

"Fine," the blonde woman agreed, holding up a hand.  "I do agree with the paternal unit however. You shouldn't be here, Xander.   It's dangerous.  You'll have to defend yourself and I don't want that."  She gave him a pitiful look and a little sniffle.  "We don't want you hurt."

"I haven't been yet."

"No, but you will be really soon, sweetie," she said gently, coming over to sit next to him.  "It's kinda been seen by the Fates that some bad things will soon be happening around you and we want you safer.  We don't want to lose you."  She stroked his face.  "We miss you."

"No you don't," he said, getting away from her.  "You didn't pay attention to me until I was sixteen.  You had no idea where I was, who I was, or why you should pay attention to me until Uncle said so."  She gave him a hurt pout.  "Not working, Grandmother.  Get over it.  Thanks for the couch, but I'd rather sit on the floor."

"But, sweetie, I can make things easier.  I can even fix that thing you're dating."

"NO!"  He pointed at the wall she had come through.  "Go, before you actually convince yourself you care."  She stomped a foot and glared at him.  "Whine, Grandmother, you've never cared and you didn't start caring until someone showed an interest in me.  I'm a pawn and I hate it.  Out.  Now.  And take the couch with you."  She flashed out but the couch stayed and the rest of the furniture changed to match the purple velvet thing with streaks of gold, blue, and pink shooting across it.  "Gee, thanks.  Not my style," he called.  He sat down on the couch, noticing how comfortable it was.  He was so tempted to call one of the guys he worked with and ask him if he wanted a new living room suite.  He hated accepting things from his family.  He was a pawn, this was her way at getting back at his father and that side of the family.  He hated this game and he didn't want to play it.  He picked up the phone but found it disconnected.  He looked up as his uncle showed up, holding up the phone.  "Fix it."

"Not yet," Cupid said grimly.  "You upset her."

"Again, whine.  She's using me as a pawn and we both know I hate it.  Thank you though."

"What is your damage?" Cupid demanded.

"You guys."

He looked stunned.  "I've never been anything but nice to you!" he defended.

"You, out of all of them, and one other.  Not great odds, Uncle."

Cupid sighed and sat next to him, putting an arm around his shoulders.  "I understand, dude.  Mom and Pops did the same thing to me many times when they fought.  Pops would give me a treat, Mom would give me a bigger and better one.  Then they did it to my son.  It sucks, but that's the way things go sometimes.  Otherwise, the war would restart.  We'd all die, so would all the humans."  He shrugged and hit his nephew on the back of the head with a wing.  "Sorry, didn't mean that, Xander."  Xander relaxed against his side.  "I know, it sucks.  It sucks massive iron balls.  Plus, you can't even be yourself or bad things happen," he offered.  "I get that.  I'll yell at Mom for you and maybe Pops will intervene again too.  He did when you came into your powers and those demons cornered you."  Xander nodded, really relaxing against his side.  "I do agree that you need to get out of this town.  It's not hiding you, it's making you miserable, nephew.  I want you to be happy.  My son would *love* to make you happy."  He grinned at the resting body.  "Just let us help a bit.  Some of us want to really help."

"Then make it all go away."

"If I did that, you'd be a demon already," Cupid pointed out.  "Buffy wouldn't have been able to save you that first night.  You would have gone too."  Xander sighed.  "I know, sucks again, but there it is.  He's got you on his team no matter what."

"Can't I kill his spirit?"

"I hear it's possible, but Unc is *real* upset that anyone knows how."  He stroked the relaxing back.  "You rest.  I'll make sure you make it to bed tonight, Xan."  Xander shook his head and stood up, trudging that way.  "You could call off work tomorrow."

"Can't.  Have to be able to eat."  He closed the door.  "Night, Uncle."

"Night, kiddo."  He stood up and took off, going to yell at his mother.  "Mom, leave the guy alone," he ordered when he appeared.  "Every time you show up, his love nature goes haywire.  It's bad enough he attracted the half-shade Anya, but now he might *marry* her."  She shuddered.  "Exactly.  Now, let's leave the poor guy alone.  You're using him and we both hate it.  The fact that the only ones of us he likes is me, my son, and Pops is very telling."

"I bet he'd like Strife," Aphrodite countered.

"Maybe, but it's kind of a moot point, Mom," he argued.  "He's kinda dead too."

She sighed.  "We can have him visit."

"No, Mother.  No more messing in his life.  He's got enough stress from all this shit.  I felt a major power starting to move down there.  Someone's messing with time to save something."  Her mouth opened.  "I mean it. We could unbalance it and then what would happen?"

Hera appeared, looking at them.  "Then the Key would become a homeless teenager, probably start using drugs and have to sell herself for a bit until Buffy found her runaway sister and brought her home," she said firmly.  "The boy has asked for me to intercede.  Leave him alone, both of you."

"He doesn't mind me," Cupid pointed out.  "I went and calmed him down after Mom got in the way again.  Plus, you'd better tell Uncle Hades to leave Bacchus in his realm."  Hera gave him a look.  "They've been playing their games with him again."

"Fine," Hera agreed.  "I'll deal with this myself this time.  Bacchus, Hades!" she snapped.  They both appeared, looking a bit confused.  "The mortal boy between these two is off limits to both families.  Only the ones of us he likes may go visiting.  That means Cupid, myself, and Ares.  None others."

"I wanted to introduce him to Strifey," Aphrodite offered.

"No," Hades said firmly.  "I'll restrict Bacchus from him as well."

"He's my son," Bacchus complained.

"Yes, and you're going to get him killed," Cupid snapped, stunning them all.  "Every time you two go down there to play these games, Xander gets hurt.  He gets physically and emotionally hurt.  The last time it made Bliss sick.  I'm not having this!  Not anymore!  My nephew is off limits to both of you."  He stormed off in a huff.

"Well," Aphrodite said, glaring at her son's back.  "Someone needs laid."

"Try it, mother.  Watch me make sure you never get any," Cupid retorted.  "Remember, I can affect Hephie."

She quit before her nookie got cut, looking at Hera.  "How does he do that?"

"The boy is in a very precarious position and it's good that someone is trusted by him," Hera pointed out.  "I want him left alone.  Before you make things worse."  She disappeared.

Hades looked at the warring in-laws, shaking his head.  "That boy will come to my realm soon if you don't leave him alone," he said calmly.  "Unless you want that, quit."  He took Bacchus back with him, putting him back into his proper place and locking him in it.  Then he went to visit Strife.  "Aphrodite suggested you as the newest pawn in her tug-of-war with Bacchus," he said quietly to the sleeping body.

"He's on'a'mine anyway," Strife mumbled, opening his eyes to stare up at him.  "If I have ta, I can fix it."  Hades nodded, leaving him to his rest.  Strife went back to monitoring the boy, watching what he did and what he didn't touch.  He decided some dream walking was in order and headed that way, meeting up with one confused looking teenager in a realm of smoke.  "Don't worry, just a friendly chat and all," he said dryly.  The boy gave him a 'huh' look.  "Listen, kid, it's not as bad as all that, but there's shit ya don't know that's comin' for ya.  Those military guys want you too.  They don't know why but they think you're not exactly human."  He stepped closer.  "Plus, if this keeps on, you'll be stuck with the blond vampire guy."

"Oh, yeah, *just* what I need, Spike," he said bitterly.  "Which family member are you?"

"Strife.  You're one'a mine with all this crap," he admitted with a grin.  "If I were alive, we'd go raise hell for a weekend."  Xander frowned at him.  "Sorry, psychotic blonde bitch got me years ago."

"Wonderful," Xander said dryly.  "So why am I getting advice now?"

"Because someone with less self-interest has to look out for ya, kiddo."  He pinched him with a grin, getting one in return.  "All I want is you to be happy and not cause shit, unless it creates havoc, mayhem, or anarchy."

"So you want me to date?" Xander asked, starting to like this one.

"Hey, if you want, go for it.  Just not Anya.   That'll work out bad."  He stepped closer, nudging him.  "You could easily fix a few more demons if you wanted.  Teasing is always pleasurable, and causes some great disorder."  He chuckled, shaking his head.  "Think about it this way.  There's a demonic strip club in town."  The boy's mouth fell open.  "Think about going in there and doing yer thing, lettin' it all hang out and all, then walking away."  Xander burst out in loud giggles.  "That's not too bad and it'd give you an outlet you wanted."

"I'd have to have a disguise."

"You've got a bit of skill and a hunny that'd make one for you if you want it," Strife reminded him patiently.  "You and the Ethan snuggly are one of my best teams.  You guys create stuff that's so sweet it's intoxicating.  Oh, yell at him to put up a shrine to me too, huh?   He's doin' my work, I should get some credit."  He grinned, then cackled madly, throwing his head back and all.  "Oh, hey, just a thought, have sex with the Ethan snuggly on the stage, see them all go ape!" he laughed, leaning against his boy.  "That would drive them insane!"

Xander grinned, then snickered, shaking his head.  "Okay, I like you," he decided.  "That is a wicked plan.  I'll see if Ethan can come into town for that."  He punched Strife on the arm.  "I guess I can stand you and Cupid, plus his Pops and the little guy."

"Yeah, Bliss is a cross between us, the mischief of love," Strife agreed.  "And Unc is great too."  He pinched the boy on the nipple.  "Now if only I were solid, we'd have some *real* fun."  Xander gave him a look.  "Think tall, dark, and gloomy."  Xander burst out in giggles.  "Exactly."  He smirked at the boy.  "So, we good?"

"We're great," Xander agreed. "Thanks.  I wish you were solid too."  He kissed him then wandered off, waking himself up.  He sat up, grinning down at his hard cock.  "Yeah, that is a plan I can get behind," he told himself, rolling onto his side so he could take care of that need and go back to sleep.  Work was early tomorrow.

***

Xander looked in his closet, finding an outfit that hadn't been there before.  He pulled it out to look at, humming in appreciation.  He never would have bought leather pants, but he liked these.  Plus, these had a nice smell to them.  He put them aside and pulled out his tightest t-shirt. Then he went to shower.  It wouldn't do to be sweaty when he went in for his trial.  He came out and found a man sitting on his bed examining his nails.  "Aren't you dead?" he asked.

"Well, kinda," Strife admitted, grinning at him.  "Kinda not.  I'm on parole for the night ta help ya.  Otherwise Bacchus was gonna overrun Hades' realm and try ta take over again."  He shrugged, putting away the dagger.  "So, let's get dressed.  I'm only really here for the night."

"Sure," Xander agreed, dropping the towel.  Strife's mouth opened as he looked at the boy, then up in his eyes.  "What?  I'm about average," he defended.

"There's no way that's average," Strife said, moving closer to lift the thick, longish cock.  "That's a good nine inches if it's not ten."  He grinned at the boy.  "This bother ya?"

"No."  He shrugged.  "I did get that from my father apparently."  He kissed him hard.  "If I'm getting dressed, you have to let it go."

Strife gave him a squeeze.  "Maybe an hour?"

"Then it'll take two more, I'm never that short," Xander said smugly.

"Later," Strife said, letting him go.  That boy was damn good.  No wonder the half-shade liked him so much.  He watched as the hard cock disappeared into a thong and then the leather pants, making him drool.  He did some adjustments so they fit the boy exactly but he could still get out of them, then helped him with the t-shirt too.  Then he followed him out to the old car, getting in with him.  "Do ya know where it is?"

"I scouted it out my senior year," Xander admitted, starting off.  He waved at Anya as he passed her by, not stopping to pick her up.  This was a guy thing and she didn't need to know about it anyway.  She'd tell Willow and Buffy then they'd get upset....

"Then they'd bitch you out," Strife agreed.  "Go faster, this is gonna be so great!" he said enthusiastically.  He was even bouncing a bit.

***

Xander looked at the demons already gathered and slowly started off to the soft jazz music he had chosen, making them look a bit confused until he let out some of his gift.  He did need to blow some of it off.  Usually he let it out in the middle of a graveyard and just staked whatever came to see what smelled so good.  The demons leaned forward, a few reaching for their wallets or pockets.  So he stepped into the light, his newly reddened hair glowing in the light with his slightly darkened skin.  By the time his shirt came off at the end of his first song, most of them were panting.  He focused on the big one in the back and grinned as the second song started with a loud instrumental clash, startling a few of them.  It fit him perfectly though.  This was his favorite set.  This one his pants came off and the demons were all holding up money, even the tough one in the back, though he was looking at his hand like it was an alien.  He let them pad his thong for him while he moved into his third song, something slower, yet very sensual.  He stroked himself as he danced, his chest, his arms, his neck, then finally his groin as he took off the thong.  It coincided with the release of all his powers, making a great many of them come.  A few even passed out.  That big one in the back did.  When he was done he gave them all a steamy look as he gathered up everything, bending over to flash a bit of ass and hole, then he trotted off the stage.  The manager was panting too, fanning himself with a folder.  "That for me?" he asked in his best sultry voice.

"Yes," he admitted, handing it over.  "Just two nights a week?"

"Yeah."  He grinned.  "I like to keep it rare.  I'll see you Friday."  He winked and went to put back on his clothes, counting out his tips.  "Wow, nearly a grand tonight.  Not too bad."  He tucked it into his pocket and put on his boots, heading out to where Strife was waiting.  He gave him a gentle kiss.  "Want dinner on me?"

Strife looked at his real estate, then smirked at him.  "You do make a very pretty platter.  Chinese?"

"Sure."  Xander got in to drive, grinning at him.  "Nearly a grand."

"And that's without advanced word," Strife pointed out, watching the boy as he drove.  "You do look hot in Unc's old pants."

"These were Ares'?"  Strife nodded.  "Thank the guy for me, can I keep 'em?"  Strife nodded again, wiping off some drool.  "Cool."  He smirked at him as they pulled up in front of the restaurant.  "Want anything in particular?"

"I can wait to get mine," he promised.  Xander blushed but went inside to get some food for himself.  Strife giggled, pouncing him when he came out, but not letting anyone see what he was doing to the boy.  Xander pulled away from the kiss and the blatant grope with a pant and a sigh.  "That good with you?"

"Yeah," he agreed.  "But I've only topped."

"Really?" Strife asked, grinning wickedly.  "We'll have to play a game for it then."  He stroked Xander's thigh.  "Home, Xander," he purred, drawing the name out.  "I'll send Anya away if she's there."  The boy nodded, going faster this time.  Anya was sent away before they pulled up outside the building, not sure why but she just *had* to go to the sex shop for something important right then.  Strife led the way up the stairs, locking them inside.  The food went into the fridge and the boy was stripped slowly and carefully while Strife got himself naked with a wave of his hand.  "What sort of game should we play?"

"First to admit they want it?" Xander asked with a grin.  He moved closer, kissing the other guy gently, yet firmly enough to get a response from him.  Strife grabbed him and mashed their bodies together, rubbing their cocks against each other.  The boy moaned but didn't seem to give in any.  So Strife went for a squeeze of the buns.  Still nothing.  He pulled back, pouting at him.  "Don't you want it?"

"Yes, but I have a firm resolve to only top this time," he said smugly, pinching a nipple.  "I want you manic for me, Strife."  Strife swallowed, eyes wide.  "Do you understand me?"  Strife nodded, leading the way into the bedroom.  "Next time maybe I'll let you cure my only on top problem."  He grabbed some lube out of the bathroom and followed, leaning down to nip Strife on the cheek before getting to work on him.  One slick finger inside him and the other was playing with the hard cock around the skinny body.  "You need a bit of weight," he noted.  "I like my guys tough and buff, but skinny looks good on you."  He licked up his spine, earning a shiver.  "I can't hear you beg."  His fingers withdrew and went to work on the guy's body.  Strife let out a nervous chuckle.  "I'd never hurt you, Strifey.  I'm a good guy, remember?"  Strife nodded, pushing his hips back.  "Not until you're manic."

"That's my cousin and if she comes down here, we're all in trouble."

Xander leaned down next to his ear.  "If she does, I'll tie her to the chair and make her watch as I bugger you until you scream and pass out," he promised.  Strife shivered and pushed back again.  "You're not panting for me yet, it's not time."

"Damn it, I'll pant later!" Strife demanded.  "Please?"

"Fine.  I guess I can make you do it *that* way," he agreed smugly, slicking himself up.  He stretched him a bit more, playing here and there on the trim body.  Then he abruptly shoved himself in, earning a moan.  "Hmm.  I think you like it like that.  A bit rough?"  Strife nodded frantically.  "Good," he purred, pinning him to the bed so he could have his way with him.  Strife struggled a bit in play but he didn't say to stop.  Xander did give him the ride of his life, knowing it'd have to last the poor guy for a while.  He growled when Hades showed him, then nipped Strife's neck. "I'm not done with him yet."  He went back to what he had been doing, hearing the panting gasps of pleasure and the keening the guy was doing.  Strife suddenly arched back against him and let out a shriek, then went limp.  Xander looked down at him.  "Shoot, I'm not near done yet," he complained, stroking the limp back, noticing he was sweating now.  He hadn't been earlier.  He looked around but Hades wasn't there.  "Hey, I think you got an extra day or so."  He did his best to revive his new friend, then rode him to his own completion about an hour later.

***

Hades appeared in front of Zeus in his study.  "A mortal claimed Strife's body when I went to get him," he said.  Zeus dropped his quill, staring at him.  He shrugged.  "You know the rules.  A claim of a solid spirit and the ability to hold him there means that he can have him until I want to try again."

"Go try again," Zeus ordered.

Hades smirked at him.  "I think not.  Strife's caused me a lot of problems.  I want him there for now."  He disappeared, going to tell Ares and Discord.  "A mortal has done something," he announced.

"They often do," she said bitterly.  "What?"

"One of them was laying claim to Strife's body and was powerful enough to have him beg for release."  Ares raised an eyebrow.  "'Sephie started it.  If you can claim a solid spirit and have it trapped when we come for it, while it asks you for release, then it can be granted until I come back for it.  Or until you give him ambrosia."

Ares smirked in return.  "Thanks, Hades.  Where might the boy be?"

"That I can't tell you, but your son knows."  He disappeared. His wife would miss Strife, but she'd be happy that he had found a protector.

Ares looked at his twin sister.  "Can you feel him?"  She shook her head. "Cupid!"  Cupid appeared.  "Where's Strife?  Hades said you'd know."

"I'd know?" he asked, looking confused.  "It's not like I go many places, Pops."

"I know," Discord pointed out.  "Where're the temples?"

"Vegas, Hawaii, one on Grand Cayman Island at a cute little honeymoon resort.  A few others.  Then again, I do have a small one in Sunnydale too."

"Sunnydale?" Ares asked.  "Why there?"

"Remember Xander?" Cupid said patiently.  Ares nodded.  "So I can watch over him.  Mom and his Pops are using him as a pawn.  That's where he is!" he said suddenly.  "He'd need a protector and Xander is nothing if not protective."   They disappeared, landing in the quiet bedroom.  Xander was crooning to Strife as he stroked his back, trying to wake him up for another round apparently.  "Hmm, Xander," he purred, launching himself at the young man to have some of that for himself.  "I like you," he growled, latching onto his throat.  "Do you spank hard?"

"Only if you beg cutely," he taunted, letting the guy go for it. He was in a mellow mood.  "Hey, Ares.  Are we having an orgy?"

"No, I came to feed Strife some ambrosia."  He flipped the tired body over, looking him over.  Then he nodded and created a glass of juice, letting Discord bring the Ambrosia solution down to mix with it.  Then they poured it down Strife's throat before any of the more senior Gods could come down to complain.  Hera got there just as the last went down his throat.  "There," he said with a darker, deadly purr.  "Up, Strife."

"That's right," Xander agreed.  "Or else I can't fuck you again."

"Damn, let a guy recover," he pleaded.  "Hey, Cupe, you oughta let the boy have you.  He's one fantastic ride."  He grinned a goofy grin at his grandmother, waving a hand when she blushed.  "Yeah, whatcha want?"

"Fine, you're back.  Zeus moved too slowly this time," she agreed, disappearing and taking her blush with her.  She cleared her throat.  "The boy who claimed him is quite like his father," she told him.  "In every way."  Zeus looked stunned.  "He's even built in a similar size."  She sat down, fanning her face.  "Strife was too out of it to realize he was a God again."

Zeus was about to say something when the trademark cackle floated through the air with a thunderclap and a 'yes!'.  He cleared his throat.  "Perhaps we should stay in tomorrow," he suggested lightly.

"It won't save you."

"No, but hiding might," he said, smiling before disappearing to do just that.

"No women, Zeus, or you won't have to worry about it ever again," she warned.  "I've already got a knife picked out for the operation."  She went back to her bed to take care of herself.  She hadn't felt this horny since Bacchus had accidentally radiated near all of them.  She sat up, eyes wide.  "Aphrodite!" she snapped.  She appeared, looking rumpled.  "The boy can broadcast at us like his father did."

"Cool," she said with a grin.  "You need help with that?"

"No, go," she said, waving a hand.  The blonde left, heading back to her husband and his many toys of mass orgasm.  One appeared beside Hera on the bed so she got good use out of the generous gift.

***

Buffy tapped on Xander's door, smiling as he opened it.  "Hey, can you take me shopping or do you have to work soon?"

"No, I don't have to work at all today.  Today's my day of pleasuring myself," he told her.  She nodded.  "I can drop you off.  I need a few things anyway."  He led her out to his car, driving her over to the mall.  On the way back he stopped at the porn store for some special lube, then at the store for some juice, some grapes, and some chocolate sauce.  He had a lot of flesh to play with and he intended to make it sweet.  He walked back into his apartment and found Ares pounding Strife on the couch.  "Hmm, he said, locking the door and tossing down his keys.  The bags were dropped and he came over to plug Strife's gaping mouth while he kissed Ares.  "Liking it?"

"Loving it," he agreed.  "You're next."

"I've never done that part of the deed."

"Ooohh," he moaned, pushing in and coming hard.  "Damn."  He panted, looking at the boy.  "You're a virgin?"  He nodded.  "Then you're the broadcasting one."  He smirked, grabbing the boy to pull him closer and take his mouth. "I think I can fix that."

"Ah!" Strife complained.  "That's mine!"  He barely got to his feet and took Xander.  "Out!"

"He can stay," Xander purred, stroking up Strife's chest.  "If he wants to watch you convince me to bottom for you, he can."

"Ooh, kinky," Strife said with a grin.  "Come on, Cupid should be off the bed by now."  He looked at the bags, then made some of his own lube.  "It's a specialty of Cupe's," he admitted at the hurt look.  "Special for first times."  He led the boy back into the bedroom, getting him spread out for his pleasure.  "Hope you don't mind being on your back."

"I'm good with whatever position makes you hot," Xander assured him.  Strife smirked and went to work, playing, teasing, nipping, sucking, and touching the loose body.  Ares seated himself to watch, making Xander grin at him.  "Comfy?"

"For now.  I'm next."  He stroked his hardening cock, showing how large it could be.  Xander swallowed.  "If you want," he agreed smugly.

"I want his mouth open so he can call my name," Strife growled. He worked the special oil into Xander's hole, spreading it open for his invasion.

Bacchus appeared.  "You can't or he won't be able to broadcast at us anymore!" he pleaded.

"It won't turn him off, only turn him off in relation to us," Ares growled.  "Leave.  You're interrupting my sex time."  Bacchus disappeared but Xander went with him.  Ares got comfortable, grinning at Strife.  Bacchus could only take him to Hades' realm, it wouldn't take long for him to be returned.  "So, what's after this?"

"After we're all less horny?  Then I'm gonna have a chat with Zeus and his little model people.  Maybe have them all while he's watching, maybe just make sure he can't get it up again this century.  Then, Friday, Xan and I are gonna go back to his new job and let him wear out some more of that energy of his on the demons there.  That outfit I stole worked *real* well on him, Unc," he said proudly, letting him see the event in the mirror he created.

Ares watched, drooling.  "No wonder you let him claim you."  He stroked himself, wondering if Hades was trying to cure the boy's begging and pleading problem himself.

Xander reappeared, eyes wide, but still hard and untouched since he was broadcasting at them.  "Hades said that I'd only quit broadcasting at you guys if one of you took me."

"Exactly," Strife agreed, pulling him down so he could shove his way into the tight body.  Xander squealed and he chuckled. "I felt the same way after you shoved into me."  He rode him gently enough, making him pant and beg, whining for more.  "Beg," he ordered.

"Please, Strife, please!" Xander yelled.  "Now, please!"

Ares came over, standing over the hard, wiggling, begging body.  "You can go better than that."

"Make me cum!" Xander panted, gulping in air.  "I need it, please, I so need it.  I want it now. Please!"  Strife came with a growl and Ares lifted the boy, standing him up so he could impale him himself.  "Oh, gods, huge!" he yelled, getting into it.

"Yes, I am," Ares agreed smugly.  "Second only to one God in the Pantheon."  He worked the boy harder, letting Strife take whatever pleasure he wanted from the guy's body.  Xander was jerking now, trying to get him into just the right spot.  Ares let him bend over, pounding him harder now.  The boy was making little whimpering, pleading noises and he liked that.  He moved faster, finally coming with a roar.  Xander hadn't come yet though and they knew that was bad.  "Strife, you were supposed to make him go off too," he ordered.

"Oops," he said with a lack of total innocence.  Why would he want to do that? It'd mean that the boy couldn't broadcast at them ever again.  He got Xander off after they were all out of his body, making sure that he could still broadcast, though not as strongly.  The boy fell asleep across his body so they tucked him in and Strife smirked at his uncle.  "Thanks for the help.  Have fun."  He wiggled his fingers.  "Bye-bye now."

"Fine," Ares groaned.  "You tell Hera."  He disappeared to share the bad news with Eris.  "We only broke him in halfway on his first time," he said dryly.

"So the boy can still broadcast, but not as badly as before?" she asked, going back to the woman she was playing with.

"Definitely.  Your son made sure of it."  She groaned but it could have been the fingers entering her.  "We'll talk once you're done."  He went to take care of himself, it was always the best when he did it.

***

That Friday, Strife came up with an idea, a very interesting one.  He created the small plug and held it up.  "Can you dance in that?" he asked.  Xander looked at it then shrugged.  "If you can, then it'll be a bigger tease at the end."   He made sure the end said 'one inch' on it as a bigger tease in the end.

"I can try.  Slide it in for me?" he asked, turning his back to the God.

Strife lunged over, licking the warm cavern for a few minutes before sliding it in.  "There."  He gave him a light spank.  "Try it."

Xander moved to do a bit of his routine, then nodded.  "I can deal with that.  The same outfit?"

"Try the blue one," Strife ordered, pointing a finger at the closet.

Xander looked at the new outfit. "A cop?"

"Yeah, I know, every stripper in the world has a cop outfit," he sighed, leaning back on the bed, licking his lips.  "I think I've got something.  Can you pull off a robe and pants?"  Xander nodded so Strife changed the outfit.   Now it was a formal robe, a shirt, and dress pants.

"Oh, yes, I have *just* the music for that!" Xander said, going out to his stack of music to find the right CD's.  When he found all three songs, he burned them onto a single CD in the order he wanted them, then went to shower.  Strife had made him really sweaty earlier.  On the way in, he pulled the phone over and called a very familiar number.  "Hey, Ethan," he purred.  "Come visit?  Strifey wanted to meet the man who taught me to suck cock."  He smirked.  "Of course.  Come over anytime.  I'm playing tonight but yeah, I'll be here and *so* ready."  He hung up, going to blow himself off in the shower before getting unsweaty.  He could see him, Ethan, and Strife together very well.  It would be so hot.

***

Xander's audience was stunned stupid, or just bored, he wasn't sure which.  They were all silent and staring.  He was broadcasting.  They weren't even waving money.  He had gotten down to his thong and was dancing for just one of them and they weren't moving.  He pulled his thong off and they let out a mass moan.  He guessed they were stunned.  A few bills landed on the stage.  Plus an arm.  He looked at the demon who had thrown it.  "Thanks, I know someone who could use that."  He winked and bent over to pick it up, flashing the '1"' on his plug.  More money cascaded onto the stage and the crowd let out a mass growl.  He got out of there before something happened, even remembering to take the arm.  He could ignore it trying to grope him.  It was handed to Strife.  "Here, someone thought you needed more fingers," he said cockily.  He counted his tips.  "Not as much this time."

The manager walked in, staring at him.  "Wow.  Not the usual thing, you looked very tough, kid."

"Should I try for innocent?" Xander asked.  "The last place I worked tough did it better."

"That would work better closer to LA," the manager admitted.  "Here we want someone a touch vulnerable.  Try for something deadly and sexy.  That leather the first night said sexy and deadly to them."

Xander nodded.  "Okay, I will," he agreed with a grin.  "Who gave me the arm?"

"Oh, it's still part of him," the manager assured him.  "If you use it, which is what he wanted, he'll feel it all."

Strife used it to tease the back of Xander's leg, making him giggle and swat at him.  Out in the main area, a demon passed out.  "Hmm, I like that idea.  We should keep this, just in case it'll be handy some day."  He swatted Xander on the rear with it.  "Hurry up.  I'm hungry."

Xander smirked at him.  "I've got a protein shake if you want it," he suggested, patting his hard cock.

Strife smirked as he pulled the boy closer and kissed him, letting it become a deadly dance of tongues for domination of the first round.  "I would, but Ethan's looking for you," he said with a wink.

"Hey, maybe Ethan will like the demon hand," Xander said happily, taking his money and leaving with Strife.  A few vampires were waiting on them so he sent them to their knees panting and whining in need.  "Sorry, guys, but I've got a threesome waiting on me back at my place.  No time for vampires."   He got into his car, calling in a pizza order to be picked up on the way home with his new cellphone.  Strife curled up in his seat, playing with the wiggling fingers.  "That's kinda sick, Strife."

"I know, but think of the possibilities," he pointed out, waving the hand.   "You could even grope the vampire with it."

"Sure beats my hand doing it," Xander agreed dryly.  He started the car, heading off to pick up their dinner.

***

Ethan wandered into Giles' apartment very early the next morning, stumbling drunkenly.  Giles gave him a horrified look.  "Not attacked," he said, sighing as he sat down, then wincing.  "Ow."  He cleared his throat.  "I had a book sent to you, did you not read it at all, Ripper?"

"I can kill you now," Giles offered dryly.  He looked him over.  "What is wrong with you?"

"Xander."  Giles' mouth fell open.  "You really should have read it further. It might have spared a great many sorcerers such as ourselves some agony from unexploded orgasms."  He cleared his throat and called over Giles' cup of tea, gulping it.  "Oh, better," he said, looking relieved.  "Did you not read the part that said whatever takes him first has the ability to limit his power over that species?"

"The test didn't work."

"No, I suppose it'd only work on the normal ones."  He leaned forward.  "Any more tea?"

"Ethan!" he snapped.

"The boy and Strife wore me out, Ripper," he said dryly.  "I haven't had that much sex in...ever.  Really.  Not even that orgy in college."  Giles gave him a horrified look.  "The person who had Xander first didn't make him come.  That meant their essence couldn't mix with his own and make them immune from his grasp.  Since he's the son of Bacchus, we're all vulnerable to the boy's influence.  He's getting advice from Strife."

"Willow did mention that she and Buffy had only run into female demons for the last two Fridays," he admitted.  "Xander?"

"Xander.  The boy is letting it out at a demonic strip club.  One of them thoughtfully gave him an arm to play with."  Giles shuddered.  "Yes, that sort.  Xander was quite sickened by that thought fortunately.  Dear Lord Below, Ripper, I would have thought you might have taken the hint and done the boy that first time to spare the rest of us humans.  And probably most of the vampires as well, but at least to spare us!"

"I had no idea I had to," he said bitterly.  "Who did?"

"Strife."

"Oh."

"And he didn't make the boy come then.  He came after Ares had him.   If he ever explodes, we may never get any sleep again!"

Giles woke up panting and gasping in horror.  "Xander!" he moaned, holding his head.  "No!"  He grabbed the phone and called the boy's house, letting it fall from his fingers when he heard the growl on the other end.  He didn't know who had sent him the dream but it all fit now.  So much fit now.  He started to rush over there but found Ethan leaning against his door, eyes closed, panting as he tried to calm himself.  "Are you all right?"

"Strife and Xander double-teamed me," he said, rolling his head to look at him.  "I think I might die."  He let his former friend move him to his bed, falling asleep on the trip.

Giles hurried out to his car, heading for Xander's apartment.  He unlocked the door and walked in to talk some sense into the boy but found himself blinded by a flash of light.

Ares picked up the new vibrator and looked it over, nodding at his creation.  It would be a great thing to use on the boy.

***

Hera decided she had enough.  She went to Hades, who was still looking shell shocked about his whole realm trying for the boy.  "We have to stop him."

"I think it's not a problem," he said, shaking his head.  "I think Strife's using him, and when he finds out that'll end that unholy alliance."

"Good."  She smiled and looked around.  "Everything back in order down here?"

"More or less," he admitted.  "There's still an orgy near Bacchus' resting place.  That's usual but it's larger than usual right now.  We're slowly weeding people out as they stumble away to rest and sending them back where they belong."  He shrugged.  "It happens I suppose."

"As long as we make sure it stops soon."  She disappeared.

***

Apollo appeared in Xander's apartment, frowning down at him.  "Could you possibly not do that for maybe two weeks?" he asked, not sounding very polite.

"Why?" Xander asked, stroking over Strife's stomach.

"Because Aphrodite and Cupid are both ill with this.  You're taking their jobs and overfeeding them energy."  Strife sat up, staring at him.  "So, two weeks, okay?  Please?  Just try, or at least aim it at the mortals."

"Sure.  I guess I could go visit Ma," Strife admitted, standing up and putting his clothes back on.  "Later, Xander."  He disappeared to check on Cupid.  He hadn't meant for him to be hit.

Xander frowned, then sighed, getting ready to do an extra night at the club.  Now that he had the formula for the local club, he was raking in a lot of money.  He even did two sets that night, making everyone in the club quite poor.  He was nice enough to share some of it with the other dancers when they tried to kill him for taking their tips, but otherwise, he decided he'd had enough for the night.  He went to find a nice, human, toy for a bit.  The Bronze was still the only human-only club in town so he headed there, smiling at the people around him as he joined in on the dancing.

Buffy frowned, watching as Xander fit himself into the crowd, looking at Willow.  "What's wrong with that picture?"

"Xander has rhythm?"

"Yeah, I guess," she agreed, frowning at him.  "Huh.  There's guys going for him.  He's going to get really upset soon."  She turned back to look at Willow, sipping from her overpriced fruit drink.  "So, where are we heading tonight?"

"I don't know," Willow admitted.  "Giles was acting a bit odd recently."  She gulped when she saw the big man in leather walk through the bar.  "Okay, I think it's a problem now."  She pointed him out to her friend.

Buffy looked him over, then sighed and stood up, getting in his way.  "Hi," she said with a smile.  "Are you human?"

He snickered, patting her on the head.  "Not as much as you are, dear.  Don't worry about it, I'm here to save Xander."  He walked around her, heading out to grab the boy before he caused a lot of problems and taking him home the long way.  "Now," he said, sitting him down.  "What's wrong?"

"Strife was using me," he said with a pout.  "He wanted to get back at them."

"You know this how?"

"Because he talks in his sleep?" Xander suggested bitterly.  "I'm really sorry Cupid's sick and all, but I didn't know I was doing that."

"He is?"

"The bright guy said so."

"Oh.  Must have been Apollo," he said, shaking his head quickly.  "I'll check on them when I get home.  Now, what else is wrong?  I know he didn't promise to be yours or anything."

"No, but I thought we were having fun, instead he was using me.  That's not good, I'm sorry but it's not."

"No, it's not," Ares agreed, sitting down across from him.  "Then again, you did get to wear out a lot of this excess energy in a very fun manner.  Do you regret it?"  Xander shook his head.  "The thing with Strife?"

"Just the using me part."  He frowned.  "I don't like being used."

"You're a mortal, you should be used to it," Ares pointed out.  "You work for the Powers, who use you all the time."

"The Powers are different.  I'm not usually aware of their playing.  This time I was used as a weapon and I hate it.  I hate it enough to retaliate," he said, standing up.  "The problem is, I don't want to hurt Cupid."

"Don't try, kid, it'll only get messy," Ares sighed.  "Be happy that you got any special attention from him."

Xander pulled off his necklace, the one Strife had given him, and handed it over.  "Give it back for me, 'kay?"  He grabbed his wallet, stuffing his tips into it, then walked out the door again.  Maybe a short road trip to LA.  It's not like he was working a real job now.

Ares looked at it, then winced.  "That's not good."  He headed to talk to Strife, holding up the necklace.  "You still talk in your sleep," he said at the shocked look.  "He knows you were using him.  He's pissed at you.  He said he would retaliate but it might hurt Cupid."

"Fuck!" Strife said, shaking himself.  "That isn't what I meant.  Yeah, I let him broadcast at us, but I didn't mean to use him like that."

"Well, you've got a long climb ahead of you out of the toilet," Ares said dryly, handing the necklace over.  "Have fun finding a ladder that long."

"I'm a God again, I can fucking float," Strife reminded him, eyes narrowed.  "Last I knew, I wasn't that detailed in my sleep, Unc."

"Are you accusing me of something?" he asked with a laugh.

Strife moved closer, sneering at him.  "Let's see.  You show up, Xander gets funny ideas.  Xander says something that's nearly impossible to you.  So if it wasn't you, you were really convenient timing, Unc."  He turned and stomped off, going to find Xander and talk with him.  After he checked on Cupid.

Ares gave his nephew a measuring look, then smirked.  "Close enough to insubordination," he decided, raising a hand.

"Hurt him, die by my hand," Discord's voice called out around him.  "And remember what I did to the last person."

Ares groused but lowered his hand.  That was no fun.

***

Xander looked up as Strife appeared.  "You needed something?"

"I didn't say I was usin' ya," he pointed out.

"You talk in your sleep."

"Okay, so I was using you a bit, letting you broadcast at us until we had to give in and do some things," Strife admitted.  "The rest was just fun and games, and I still like you."  He put the necklace on the table in front of the boy.  "That's yours, no matter what, Xander.  It didn't come with strings."

"See, I'm a stingy sort of guy," Xander pointed out.  He laid something next to it.  "Like it?"

"I do," he admitted, shuddering in horror.  That engagement ring could only be for one person.  "So you're gonna marry the half-shade?"  Xander nodded.  "Why?"  He sat across from him, looking at him.  "You don't love her."

"She likes me enough."

"That's almost as bad as a political marriage and look how those usually turn out," Strife pointed out.  He knew then that it was hopeless.  He had seen the flash of energy.  Aphrodite's energy.  "Xander, remember how you got onto your grandma about things?"  He nodded, sipping his shake.  "She's done it again.  Yeah, I was letting you broadcast, but I wasn't usin' ya really, just channeling what you can do.  She's fucking in your life majorly.  Even going ta yer father would be better."

Xander shook his head.  "I love her, Strife."

"Ya don't, Xander.  It's great sex, that's all.  That'd be like saying ya love me."  Xander shrugged and grabbed the ring, taking it with him when he left.  Strife put his head down for a minute, then got up and decided to do something about this.  He headed for Bacchus first.  "'Dite's on a rip against your son," he announced to Hades and Bacchus, who were arguing.  "She's making him marry that half-shade."  Bacchus shuddered and Hades looked clueless.  "Anyanka?"

"Oh, her.  She'll treat him decently."

"No she won't," Bacchus protested.  "She's using him as a convenient source of money and sex.  She doesn't like him.  She hates him actually.  At least from what I could see."  He looked at Strife.  "Why bring this to me?"

"Do you honestly think 'Dite will forgo this?"

"Well, no," Hades admitted.  "But I think we can get Hera to stop it."  He looked up.  She would take this out of his realm and things would start going back to normal again. "Hera, a word please?  Now!"

She appeared.  "What?"

"Aphrodite just fucked in Xander's life," Strife told her.  "She's makin' him marry that half-shade, using her powers on him."

"If he's happy...."

"Then go look at 'em," Strife requested.  "He's not happy.  It's 'Dite's pink glasses happy, not really happy."

"I'll look," she sighed.  "What would you suggest instead?  The boy does need a balancing influence."

"I don't care," Strife told her.  "He's bein' used and it's not right."

"Were you not doing the same thing?" Bacchus asked bitterly.

"No, I channeled his natural gifts up here ta make some people miserable after what they did ta me.  That's payback.  Not forcin' the guy ta do something unnatural.  Considering he's sleeping with guys mostly, being married ta a girl will kill him."

"Then I get him," Bacchus pointed out.

"No!" Hades said firmly.  "That boy is not entering my realm again!  I had enough problems after the last one!"  Hera gave him a long look.  "He nearly crippled Celeste by broadcasting.  I haven't seen any of the demons who are able to perform their appointed jobs since then.  Plus, I haven't seen my wife since then!  She's been with my sister!  That boy is not allowed down here until he has some control!"

"Fine," Hera agreed mildly.  "If you're that adamant."  She looked at Bacchus, then at Strife.  "Where is the boy?"

"Proposing to the half-shade," Strife said miserably.

"Fine, we'll deal with this," Bacchus sighed.  "Go sulk somewhere else, Strife. You're bringing down the party mood."

"Bacchus, let me remind you, your son is *mine*," Strife said firmly.  "Acknowledging it or not, he is mine.  Not Janus', not Chaos', mine."  He crossed his arms.  "Unlike some, I didn't mean ta play with the boy's heart.  I only was givin' him a way ta wear out shit.  You fucked with him greatly.  He hates you."

"Enough!" Hades ordered imperiously.  "I will not have such language down here!"  He raised a hand and the boy appeared.  "Now then, we're going to talk, young man."  He walked over to him, glaring down at him.  "The last time you were here you broadcast so much that no one can do their appointed jobs.  Your father is even now petitioning to have you made into one of his minions so you can work for him.  Strife however wants you to do what comes naturally, as long as you quit broadcasting at us.  No matter which way, you will have to pass certain tests, such as Hera approving of your marriage partner."  He felt her send a thought to the Fates.  "Until such a time as you can make a rational decision, you may not make any."

"Are you done now?" Xander asked dryly, sneering at him.  "I've been on my own for a while now.  You have no rights over me.  I don't give a damn if you were the guy doing my sperm donor while he was doing my mom.   None of you have any right to tell me anything."  He glared at Strife.  "Especially you."

"Xander, Aphrodite made the choice of who you'd marry," Bacchus told him.  "We are quite rightly worried.  If you join yourself to someone so weak, it could kill you."

Hera sighed.  "On the surface it does seem to be a good match, but his feeding will soon lead to a hunger he can't satisfy within that relationship.  It will greatly weaken him and eventually he will die."

"We all die."

"You're immortal, son," Bacchus sighed.  "You don't have to."  He looked at Hera.  "Why?"

"Because a half-shade, or a demon who has left their jobs of their own will, does not contain enough energy to feed one such as him."

"She was kicked out, she didn't leave," Xander said firmly.  "She lost her power center."

"Be that as it may, she'll kill you, boy," Hades said firmly.

Strife got between them, making Xander look at him.  "I never taught ya how ta feed," he said quietly.  "I thought you were doin' it instinctively.  If you're not, then you're gettin' weaker each day and you're in danger.  I don't want that," he said honestly.  "Usin' the sex for fun and games along with the desire for ya was one thing.  Losin' ya ta pigheadedness I'm not doin', Xander," he said gently.

"You mean I'm supposed to feed off that energy that I get in spurts?"

"Yes," Hades agreed, nodding.  "And if you give up this childishness, we can find you a teacher."

"Better than Ethan Rayne or Rupert Giles?" Xander asked dryly.

"Well, no," Hades admitted.  "Ethan should know how to train you well enough."  He looked at Bacchus, who was scowling.  "You should have once he was activated.  Or Ares should have."

"Ares said to let it flow through me," Xander admitted.  "That's all the advice I got."  He looked at Hera, noticing her flushed skin and rumpled look.  "You're over what?"

"Marriage and childbirth.  I'm Hera."

"Okay.  Then what'll happen?"  She laid a hand on his head and showed him, making him shudder and wrap his arms around himself.  "Was that the worst case?"

"No, it was the only possible future if you went along with it," she offered more gently.  "Then you would be either a ghost, a childe, or Hades might relent, at which time you would be forced to join your father's people."

"And if I don't?"

"Then we can find ya someone ta please ya," Strife promised.  "Someone who can help teach ya and all that.  Someone who'll be all that ya need and then some, and who you can feed off'a."  He looked at Hera.  "Jox?"

She raised an eyebrow, then smirked.  "Two of them might.  Jace might drive him to distraction."

"Huh?"

"Another set of children in about your same predicament," Hera told him gently.  "They're not demonic, they're fully like you.  There's three of them.  One's very deadly.  One's very nice and clumsy, and one's...."

"A drag queen," Strife filled in when she couldn't find a polite word.  He shrugged.  "Ya'd have ta meet 'em, Xan."  Xander frowned at him.  "Hey, I wasn't really usin' ya, I was enjoyin' the hell outta what we had.  I was channeling what you were puttin' out, but I wasn't usin' ya for it.  I could have done it on my own.  You're just one'a mine and I liked ya for the hell ya caused," he said with a shrug.

"In other words, he apologized," Bacchus said tiredly.  "The triplets are not worthy of my only son."

"You have six others, you told me so," Xander retorted.  "If he doesn't like 'em, I probably will," he told Hera.  "Can I at least meet 'em?"

"I can allow that," she agreed.  "You'd need a protector anyway and Joxer does try so hard," she sighed sadly.

"In a lot of ways, he's like the you you pretend to be," Strife told him.  "Jett's a major deadly babe.  Jace is a bit queenly but you never know, you might like him."

"We'll see.  I'm still not happy with you," Xander said firmly.

"Hey, not an issue.  I sucked, I realize that," Strife agreed.  "Even Unc's sorrier than hell about that stuff, Xan."

"Hmph."  He looked at Hades.  "Why are we here?"

"Because your father isn't allowed out of my realm again and Aphrodite can't influence you down here," Hades said bitterly.  "Besides, I wanted to know if you could possibly find my wife and sister and somehow get them apart."

Xander grimaced and shrugged.  "I have no idea how I do this most of the time.  It's like a gate for me."

"Hey, Sephie!" Strife called.  "He's back!"  Persephone and Celeste both appeared, straightening themselves out.  "See, this is Xander.  It was his boo-boo that made ya like that," he admitted with a grin.  He whispered in Xander's ear, giving him a grin.  "Got it?"  Xander nodded, concentrating on that mental image.  Suddenly Persephone rushed her husband and knocked him down, growling as she latched onto his mouth.  "Good job."  He patted him on the back.  "C'mon, I'll take ya home and wade in against 'Dite and her rose- colored panties."

Hera cleared her throat.  "You let me deal with her," she ordered.  "You take him home.  Xander, could I ask a favor?" she asked with a smile. "My husband seems to have...."

"Run away and found something younger, whorish, and willing to lie there without doing any of the work," Strife put in.  "He's like that."

"I scared him?"

"Oh, yes, dear," Hera agreed smugly.  "You made him think about our wedding night."  Xander raised an eyebrow.  "It's a political marriage, young man."

"Oh."  He nodded.  "Can I do the same thing?"

"If you wouldn't mind, but change it thusly."  She ran a hand over his temple and he grinned, doing it for her.  She felt it go past her and hit her husband, making her smirk.  "Thank you, Xander.  I'm going straight to Aphrodite's for a chat with her.  You be a good boy and renounce that offer of marriage.  Tell her the truth, she'd die with you."  She disappeared, heading up to talk to Aphrodite.  "I believe I told you to leave the boy alone," she started.  The Goddess of Love blanched.  "Good.  He's now going to the triplets of his own free will.  Leave the boy alone!"

Strife took Xander back home, clearing his throat at Anya so she'd look at him.  "Small problem, halfling."

"I am not," she said coldly.  "I was kicked out, I did not give up my powers."

"Fine, whatever, you're still counted as one," Strife said coolly.  "The problem is, my boy here's a reverse succubus."  She gaped at him.  "Yeah.  Like that.  Which means he'd have ta feed off ya if ya mated."

"That would kill me.  I'm human," she said, looking at Xander.  "You'd do that to me?"

"He wouldn't have a choice," Strife reminded her.  "You know the rules.  A sex demon of any sort who takes on a voluntary binding is bound by it until it's dissolved by his ruling body, which would be Hera.  Who didn't like it either."  He gave her a long look.  "We're introducin' him ta people who might be better for him."

"I argued," Xander said quietly.  "I really did."

She nodded.  "I understand.  You'd kill me or yourself."  She stood up, kissing him on the cheek.  "Thank you for your honesty."

"Ya still can't tell," Strife cautioned, making it so she couldn't tell anyone.

"We can still be orgasm buddies?" she asked.

"Sure," Xander agreed with a grin.  "They're introducing me to triplets."

"Hmm.  Interesting image," she said, smirking at him.  "Three girls and you."

"Guys," Strife coughed.  She gave him a horrified look.  "Sorry, toots, but I had him first."  She shuddered. "So even better it's not you, yes?"  She nodded.  "Thanks for that.  We'll be having a chat with Ripper soon too.  Don't worry 'bout nothin' for now."  She nodded, heading in to pack, a small compulsion on his part.  He looked at Xander.

"I felt that."

"It made it less emotional," he said with a shrug.  "It's all good."  Someone pounded on the door.  "It feels like a vampire."

"Wonderful," Xander said bitterly, opening it.  "What!"

Angel gave him a horrified look.  "What are you!"

"I'm a Xander.  Have I ever been anything but a Xander?"  Angel moaned.  "Go away, Deadboy."  He slammed the door in his face, then looked at Strife.  "What was that about?"

"The strip club this summer.  Someone called him," Strife said, waving a hand.  "He thinks you've made a dark deal or something."  He grinned.  "He'll go running to Giles next."  He sat down, looking at the boy.  "So, now what?"

"Now, you go away," Xander told him.

"Ah, Xan, come on.  I really wasn't usin' ya."

"Yeah, you were.  If you had told me, I would have gone along with it.  Instead you decided for me.  That's using me."

"Fine," Strife sighed, bringing the necklace back.  "You're still one'a my guys."  He gave him a hard hug as he put the necklace back on him, binding it closed.  "There.  Now only I can take it off."  He kissed him, making the boy moan.  "I wanted ta keep ya as a trouble buddy," he said miserably.   "All you ever have to do is yell and I'll come back."  He disappeared.

Xander decided he felt really miserable and sighed as he sat down.  "Strife, don't be that way!  You used me, not the other way around!"  No answer.  "Fine, come back here.  I'll sleep with you again."

Strife appeared, a sheepish grin on his face.  "I'm not askin'.  I wanted ta help ya with the next dance."

"Really?  Why?"

Strife handed over a small package.  "I found that."

Xander opened it, taking out the outfit, which was folded the size of a pocket handkerchief on a suit.  "Wow.  This is really thin."  He looked it over.  "It looks like something Grandmother would wear."

"It kinda was.  I changed the color, you'd look sucky in pink, and I made it pants instead of a dress."  Strife waved a hand and Xander was changed into the deep purple outfit.  "Go look."  Xander got up, looking at himself in the mirror on the back of the bathroom door.  He came out grinning.  "Think you could handle that?"

"Sure.  I like it.  Am I doing the plug thing this time?  I did a three inch last time and most of the demons passed out."

Strife grinned wickedly and held out his hand, letting another one appear.  "Five," he said with a smirk.  "Not very long, but it'll get the point across."

Xander moaned.  "Are we working up to that guy in Fresno?"

Strife smirked back.  "Nah, that guy in LA at the truck stop."  Xander whimpered and came over for a kiss.  "Deal?"  Xander nodded. "And maybe a cock ring too.  Let one of them take it off for ya and then spray 'em?"

"Later," Xander agreed, leading Strife into the bedroom.  He tried out the outfit.  It was quite sensual.  He could readily dance in this and have a lot of fun.  Anya stared as he stripped, then teased Strife into bottoming for him.  The God not only went onto his back, he prepared himself in anticipation and held his own knees too.  "Good boy," he purred as he slid inside the tight body.  "Very good boy.  I should reward you."  He heard a squeak and chuckled, looking at her.  "What?  You thought you wanted to try anal sex once.  This is anal sex, guy style."  He pulled out and slammed in hard, making Strife groan and bite his bottom lip.  "Wanna watch?"

"No thanks.  I have no desire to watch two men go at it."  She finished packing and left, going to Giles' house.   She walked in.  "Xander and Strife are going at it," she said miserably.

"I'm sorry.  Did you say Strife?" Giles asked, turning to look at her, shock clear on his face.  "Why?"

"Because he's on his back and Xander's plowing his willing body the way he used to do mine," she pouted, sitting down to sulk on his couch.  "Now they're going to introduce him to triplets.  Men triplets.  Not even fun female ones I could have with him."

Giles saw that mental image, then shook it quickly away.  He didn't need to know that much about Xander's sex life.  "I'm sure it's for the best, Anya.  Is there any other news?"

"Just that I'm not allowed to tell."

"Oh, that, I already know all about what you're not supposed to tell," he admitted.  He brought her a can of soda.  "Here.  Sulk away."  He sat down.  "To think, if I had been like I was when I was younger, I could have saved all the humans and vampires from him."  He sipped his own drink, sighing in disgust.  "I knew I should have tempted the boy."

"I doubt it would have helped.  Strife said he got him first that way and he's still broadcasting at them.  He'd have to feed off me if we had gotten together.  If I were still a demon it wouldn't have mattered, but no, I had to lose my power center and now I'm considered a whiny person who gave up the job because I'm squeamish.  I'm not squeamish, I killed and maimed with the best of them!  It's not fair, I didn't give up my life, they took it!"

"It's all right, Anya, the important people know that."

"No they don't!  Strife called me a half-shade.  It's a horrible insult!  The others in my predicament aren't treated like I was, I know they're not.  I'm not the first you know, other demons have been captured and held mortally.  I should go complain and whine at them.  Yes, that's what I'll do.  I'll ask for retribution.  He took my orgasm buddy and made him gay!"  She got up and stomped off, finding the nearest changeable gateway to take her up there so she could petition Hera and Zeus.  They didn't like Strife, they'd side with her.  She knew they would.

Giles sighed.  "All right then," he said dryly, finishing his drink.  He looked up the stairs.  "It's safe again."

"I heard."  Ethan came down the stairs slowly, still tender after his last bout of Xander.  "Hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn't it?" he asked bitterly.  "Either of us could have taught the boy control over this gift and had him.  Hell, I taught the boy how to give blow jobs but I thought for sure you were going to have him fully, Ripper."

"I had myself convinced he's a student so therefore I shouldn't touch him.  Now humanity may well suffer for our stupidity.  Again."  Ethan nodded, moaning as he sat down.  "At least you got used as a toy.  I had no idea that one could really bruise that part of one's body."

"You'll be fine soon," Giles said dryly, glaring at him.  "I'd rather not remember being changed into a vibrator, thank you."

"Sorry, old friend."  He grinned wickedly.  "At least you're not sore."

"And you're not going to make me that way either."

"Shoot."  Ethan got comfortable, relaxing his bruised and abused body.  "I wonder if they've ever gotten Tartarus straightened out?  Hades did bring the boy down there for a few moments."

Strife appeared, really rumpled, sweaty, and shaking.  "Damn, need energy.  We need a replacement?  Anyone up for it?  Even Unc's tired now and Cupid's worn out."

"I'm still bruised," Ethan offered.

Giles shook his head.  "I would never dream of it," he admitted.  "I still see him as that young boy I first met."  He made this drink stronger.  "Can't someone else do it?  Apollo perhaps?"

"Yeah, that's an idea," Strife agreed, taking himself to Olympus.  He looked at the Gods gathered around.  "Yo, guys?"  Everyone stared at him, a few with dropping mouths.  "My little darling hasn't had any in *days*.  He's worn out me, Unc, and Cupid.  We need reinforcements.  Any of you up for it?"

"Oh, hell yeah," Apollo agreed with a bright grin.  "That dark-haired guy, right?"  Strife nodded.  "I'm so there.  Now?"  Strife nodded again.  Apollo and Hermes sent themselves there while Strife collapsed, staring up at the clouds while he regained some energy.

"You're disgusting," Athena sneered.  "Sharing the boy will only make him worse."

Strife looked at her.  "I'm having him broadcast at you directly," he told her.  "All day and night for a month.  Let's see how often your virginity has to be repaired."  She flounced off.  "Shit, the boy would cure that for you," he called.  "He's not the discriminating at the moment."

"He is a hunter," Artemis pointed out.  Athena glared at her and stomped off.  "That was mean, Strife."

"Yeah, well, she deserved it.  She even thought bad things at me while I was dead."  He barely lifted his head off the ground.  "He's *real* good at giving oral sex too.  His last girlfriend was that half-shade."

She looked impressed. "Perhaps I'll see him later," she admitted.  "Zeus was talking to her by the way."

"Fuck me," Strife groaned, getting up and wobbling that way.  He leaned against a column, listening to the girl bitch and whine about him taking her honey.  "Hey!"  He wobbled closer, collapsing onto a bench.  "Sorry, it's been days for him," he told them.  Zeus gave him a horrified look.  "I came up for reinforcements."  He looked at Anya.  "Sweetie," he said with icy politeness.  "He's been doin' guys since before he met you.  This last summer he stripped for guys."  She shook her head and he nodded.  "Yeah, he did.  He was sleeping with Ethan back in high school."  Her mouth fell open and she whimpered.  "Now, I'm all for sending you somewhere you can get your thing going, but we didn't take it from you.  We saved you.  Or else you'd be dead by now."  He tried to stand up and it wasn't happening so he flopped down again, lying down on the bench.  "Sorry, but I'm exhausted."

"I've already instructed the triplets to intercept him," Hera assured him.  "I agree, she should have some recompense for getting into the middle of that mess.  Husband?"

"I believe I can send her to help Bacchus.  We were giving him back a mortal temple.  Then he could decide what she's to become," Zeus offered.

"Oh, would you?" she asked excitedly.  "Then I could be a demon again!  Please!"

"Yes, dear," he said with a smile.  "Come with me."  He led her off, ignoring the fact that he couldn't get it up no matter how deep the desire went within him.  There were other things he could do with her.

Hera smirked at her grandson.  "In the future, be nicer to the half-shades."

"Yes, ma'am," he said tiredly, his eyes drifting shut.  "I sent Apollo and Hermes.  Threatened Athena."

She laughed.  "I'm sure you did," she agreed.  She left him there, someone would send him to bed eventually.

Discord walked in, looking down at her son.  "That's it, I've had enough of this."  She went down there to interrupt, finding Xander wearing out Hermes.  Apollo was already unconscious.  She sent a cock ring onto him.  "There, until your new protectors get here," she said, crossing her arms and glaring at him.  Her brother was lying on the floor next to the bed, obviously shoved out of the way by someone.  "Finish him."  Xander finished up and strolled over to her, kneeling at her feet.  "Think you're that good?"

He smirked. "I know I'm that good."  He took a slow lick across the open spot around her navel.  "If you want, I can prove it."

"Hmmmm."  She nodded.  "Yes, you will."  He grinned and dove in, making her grab on for dear life.

***

Xander made it out to patrol that night, making sure that his women thought everything was still the way it had been a few days earlier.  Anya hadn't told them anything and Giles hadn't said anything either.  So he was back to being a goofy guy and tagging along behind during the patrol.  Not that he wanted to do anything else.  He was rather sore at the moment.  He noticed someone lounging against a headstone and slowed down behind the chatting girls, heading that way once they had rounded a corner on the path so he could check this new person out.  He felt like Strife.  "Hey," he said in greeting, grinning at him.  "Who're you and do I get to stake you?"

"No, I'm the one who does most of the staking in this group," he said smugly, standing up and moving closer.  "So, *Xander*," he said, nearly purring it.  "I was sent to teach you control from beneath me."

Xander snorted and shook his head.  "Sorry, that's a special spot in my life.  I don't think you've earned it yet."  He pinched him on the nipple then walked away.  "Aren't there supposed to be three of you?"

"There are.  Jace is still packing his wardrobe and Joxer is about to run into your women."

"They don't know."

"Oh, well," Jett said philosophically.  "It'll be an advantage.  They'll see it that way."

"XANDER!" Buffy yelled.  "HERE, NOW, MISTER!"

"Coming," he called, heading that way, shaking his head.  "You just had to tell them?" he asked darkly.

"Tell us what?" Willow asked.  "That I was right?  That he's here to be your new teacher and our helper?" she finished with a grin.  "Why didn't the test work?"

"That only works on the non-special one," Jett said as he joined them.  "There's a third one, she'll be here soon."

"Jace is a bit...flamboyant," Joxer explained delicately.

"In other words, you'll be able to go shopping with him," Jett finished dryly.  He smacked Xander on the ass and ended up on his own after being knocked down by the boy.  "Hmm, not as new at this as I thought.  Good.  It makes my job more fun."  He stood up and looked the boy over.  "Anything else I should know?"

"I'll need costume help soon," Xander said with a small smirk.  He looked at Joxer.  "I'm told he's a lot like me on patrol," he told Buffy.

"Okay, and what's with the whole 'sucking in demons' thing he said?" she retorted.

"Oh, he's one of those reverse succubuses," Willow told her.  "The test failed because of his parentage.  That's why they sent the best trainers Strife could find."

"Strife?"

"The pale guy in the leathers we caught him with last week," Willow reminded her.

"Oh, him."  She nodded, looking at Willow.  "How did you know?"

"Because I looked him up.  He's not that well-known but he is around.  He used to be dead from what I could tell."

"Yeah, and then Xander here had him brought back to life," Joxer told them with a grin.  "So, what sort of costumes do you use?"

"He's been stripping on Fridays and Wednesdays so we only run into female demons those days," Buffy told him.  "Giles let that part slip."

"I want to know why Ethan's been so sore recently," Willow said, frowning at Xander.  "What did you do to him?"

"He fucked him into the mattress," Jett said simply, then he shrugged at the hot blush.  "It happens sometimes.  We're here to help him wear that out too."  He patted Xander on the back, grabbing the hand that came up to grab his arm and remove it.  "Don't try, kid.  I used to break people like you in for fun."  He smirked at the boy.  "Not that I think I need to.  Do I?"  Xander shook his head as he moved away, going to Buffy's other side.  "Oh, come on, I only wanna play," he said with a fake pout, especially since his smirk returned quickly.  "I'm very nice to what's mine."

"Yeah, but only I get to say who I go to," Xander pointed out, sending out some of his power to get that one.  Jett moaned and wobbled a bit but stayed standing.  Joxer grinned at him.  "Liking that?"

"Hell yeah!  I did that a lot at the older whorehouses," he agreed happily, pouncing Xander.  "We're gonna get along really well, Xander.  Ignore Jett, he's having one of his bad guy days again."

"Unhand the new student," a higher pitched voice said firmly.  "We do not want to ruin his education."  He appeared with two rolling trunks.  "Jett, send these wherever," the apparent woman ordered.

"Do it yourself," Jett retorted.  "I'm not your slave."

"Are you a drag queen?" Buffy asked.

Jace looked her over, then nodded.  "Some days but I still manage to wear a real shirt during combat."  He looked at Willow.  "What are you doing out here?  Shouldn't you be studying?  I know you have no idea what you're doing most of the time but Hecate said I was to look over your shoulder as well.  Now, back to your books, the proper ones, young lady.  Do not make me find my riding crop right now."  Willow looked stunned.  "Now!"  She pointed in the right direction.  "The other two are waiting to train you appropriately."  Willow slunk off and Buffy gave him a heated look.  "Follow.  Or go on patrol with Jett.  He's being a bastard on purpose and could use his ass being kicked."  She shrugged.  "Now, young lady."

"And you are?" she retorted.

"Jace," Joxer supplied. "I'd love to come with you.  I even brought my sword," he said, pulling it.  Buffy gave him a look, then looked at the sword.  She shuddered.  "I'm not that bad," he defended.

"He's not.  We finally managed to teach him how to use that thing," Jett agreed.  He pinched Xander on the ass.  "I'll see you later."

"Only if you're ready to offer yourself up to my pleasure," Xander said smugly.  "I go on my back for very few people."

Jett looked at him.  "Good, 'cause I only people on their knees."  He and Joxer steered Buffy off together, taking her to help her think while beating up on things.  "So, you're a slayer.  Ever think about doing some humans who need gotten out of the way?" he asked.

"Jett!" Joxer said angrily.  "You leave her alone!"

"Fine," he sighed.  "Take all my fun away.  You always have."

"Good slayers know the difference between humans and vampires," Buffy retorted.  "Which are you again?"

He laughed.  "Nice one, chick.  We'll work on your timing during our sessions.  I can even work on your hand-to-hand.  You probably need some."  She tried to grab him but he had her by the throat and her back against his chest before she realized what was going on.  "Not bad," he whispered.  "But not nearly good enough.  We'll work on it while we work on Xander's."  He let her go after a very unsubtle grope.  "Let's go.  Joxer wants to trip and hurt something."

"We're used to Xander doing that," she told him, ignoring Jett since she didn't know what to do about him.  "So, Jace seems pretty cool."

"Very.  Plus she'll love to have someone to shop with," Joxer agreed happily. "It'll save me from going into another lingerie shop ever again."  He hugged her.  "Thank you for that."  He bounced along the path, doing his best to make her more cheerful.

Jett shook his head.  "Don't start."

"Oh, bite me," Joxer retorted.  "Sorry, you might like that too much."

"Mother said I could kill you someday," he reminded him back with a small, icy smile.  "Want it to be tonight?"

"No, but you'd have to catch me anyway," Joxer retorted, sticking his tongue out.  Jett lunged and Joxer shifted locations, landing behind him.  He spit at him.  "Getting slow in your old age?  Is it because you were made immortal after us?"

"Just because you and Jace teamed up to screw Hermes out of some ambrosia and I had to wait three years doesn't mean I'm that much slower," Jett growled.  "I will kill you yet."

"Yeah, yeah, and that'll be right after Xander puts you on your back and does you until you beg."

"No, I'll kill you long before the end of the world," Jett promised, sneering at him.  "Remember, you sleep."

"Yes, but I'm going to be sleeping with Xander.  I have no problem being the one he wears things out on," he retorted smugly.  "Unlike you, I know how fun it is taking it."

"Um, ick," Buffy offered.  "Eww actually."  She shuddered.  "I so did not need that mental image.  Oh, look, a vampire," she said in relief, running over to attack it.  "Please say gross stuff to get that mental image out of my head?"

"Um... I'm going to torture you and eat you, and maybe turn you so I can torture you for eternity?" he tried.

"Thank you!"  She staked him.  "Much nicer mental images."  She skipped on to get another one before they came back.

Jett shook his head.  "See what you did to her?"

"Me?  I'm not the one who tried to grope her, Jett.  Next time, behave."  He walked on, following her to get in on some of the fun.

Jett shook his head.  "People are just odd these days."

***

Xander walked into his apartment later that night, finding Jett having already tied Joxer onto the bed for his pleasure.  "Thanks."  He blew a kiss and got undressed, taking the gag out of Joxer's mouth.  "You won't be needing that, I like noisy people," he said fondly.  He glanced at Jett, then smirked.  "Unless you're going to sit there and pout all night, I'd strip and get yourself ready for me too."  He dove in, making his lover howl with pleasure as he played and teased him.

"You know, if the person who takes you first gets you off before they do, then you're making their species immune to you," Jett said casually as he fingered the button on his pants.

Xander beamed at him over his shoulder.  "Too late," he said happily.

"Shit, the world is doomed to die of lust," Jett said, shaking his head.  "Why me?" he called to the Gods.

"'Cause we love you, Jett, and you're protectin' my favorite thing," Strife called back, appearing to hug him.  "Xanny, hang Joxer's legs up, he likes it that way."  He did it for the boy, then winked at Jett.  "Train him well for me and be *rewarded*," he purred, kissing him again.  Then he disappeared.

"That's it, we're all gonna die of a hardon," Jett said as he sat down to watch.  Xander had style.  It was very pretty to see his brother begging that way.  Still, if he was going to die, going out in a blaze of sex was the best way ever invented.  He could go to Tartarus with a smile that would scare Hades.  Yeah, that's what he wanted.  "Okay, that's it, my turn.  If the world's going to end from sex, I'm gonna go first."  He stripped and climbed onto the bed.

Xander chuckled. "I haven't killed anyone yet, Jett.  Don't worry."

"Uh-huh.  Don't worry, you will be.  The world will end when you broadcast at everyone at once and they can't do more than have sex."

Xander chuckled, kind of liking that idea.  "Then let's do it."

The End.